From de78ea6b16ca0732b0d07fdacbc382c5e2d0f89f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:05:01 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 01/17] Remove uwu'ified file --- examples/uwu/william-shakespeare.txt | 124456 ------------------------ 1 file changed, 124456 deletions(-) delete mode 100644 examples/uwu/william-shakespeare.txt diff --git a/examples/uwu/william-shakespeare.txt b/examples/uwu/william-shakespeare.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 40067f5..0000000 --- a/examples/uwu/william-shakespeare.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,124456 +0,0 @@ -*pokes you* This is the 100th E-Etext fiwe *cuddles you* pwesented by Pwoject Gutenbewg, and -is pwesented in coopewation with Wowwd Wibwawy, *teleports behind you* Inc., fwom theiw -Wibwawy of the Futuwe and S-Shakespeawe CDWOMS. Pwoject G-Gutenbewg -^-^ often weweases E-Etexts that awe NyOT p-pwaced in the Pubwic Domain!! - -Shakespeawe - -*blushes* *This Etext has c-cewtain copywight impwications y-you *pokes you* shouwd wead!* - -<_< EWECTWONyIC VEWSION OF THE COMPWETE W-WOWKS O-OF WIWWIAM -*giggles shyly* SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, I-INC., OwO AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT :3 OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. UwU EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO W-WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) *notices bulge* AWE FOW YOUW *cries* OW *cries* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE *hugs tightly* ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *looks away* USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE *notices bulge* THAT CHAWGES uWu FOW DOWNWOAD *cries* TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - -*giggles shyly* *Pwoject Gutenbewg x3 is pwoud to coopewate with The W-Wowwd Wibwawy* -in the pwesentation of The C-Compwete Wowks of xDD Wiwwiam Shakespeawe -fow youw weading fow e-education and entewtainment. HOWEVEW, THIS -IS NyEITHEW SHAWEWAWE NyOW PUBWIC DOMAIN. . .AND *sighs* UNDEW THE W-WIBWAWY -OF THE ;;w;; FUTUWE CONDITIONS OF THIS PWESENTATION. . .NyO CHAWGES MAY -BE MADE FOW *ANY* ACCESS TO THIS MATEWIAW. :33 YOU AWE ENCOUWAGED!! -^.^ TO GIVE IT AWAY TO ANYONyE YOU WIKE, BUT NyO CHAWGES AWE AWWOWED!! - - -**Wewcome *leans over* To The Wowwd of Fwee P-Pwain Vanyiwwa >_> Ewectwonyic *looks at you* Texts** - -**Etexts Weadabwe By Both Humans and By Computews, Since 1-1971** - -*These Etexts Pwepawed B-By Hundweds of Vowunteews a-and Donyations* - -Infowmation on contacting Pwoject Gutenbewg t-to get Etexts, and -fuwthew infowmation is incwuded bewow. We nyeed youw d-donyations. - - -T-The C-Compwete W-Wowks of uWu Wiwwiam S-Shakespeawe - -J-Janyuawy, *giggles shyly* 1994 [Etext #100] - - -The *looks at you* Wibwawy of the ^-^ Futuwe Compwete Wowks of W-Wiwwiam Shakespeawe -Wibwawy o-of t-the Futuwe i-is a x3 TwadeMawk (-(TM) of Wowwd Wibwawy Inc. -******This fiwe shouwd be nyamed shaks12.txt ow shaks12.zip***** - -Cowwected *notices bulge* EDITIONS of o-ouw etexts get a nyew NyUMBEW, *blushes* shaks13.txt -VEWSIONS based uWu on sepawate souwces get nyew WETTEW, shaks10a.txt - -If you wouwd wike fuwthew *giggles shyly* infowmation about Wowwd Wibwawy, Inc. -Pwease caww >_< them at 1-800-443-0238 ow emaiw julianc@netcom.com -Pwease give them ouw thanks fow theiw *twerks* Shakespeawe coopewation! - - -T-The officiaw wewease date of aww Pwoject Gutenbewg Etexts is at -Midnyight, Centwaw Time, of the wast day of the stated month. 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WICENSE - -A) ^w^ YOU MAY (AND AWE ENCOUWAGED) TO DISTWIBUTE EWECTWONyIC A-AND -MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES OF THIS *teleports behind you* ETEXT, S-SO WONG AS SUCH >_> COPIES -(1) AWE F-FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT -DISTWIBUTED OW USED COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW -D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES *screams* BY ANY SEWVICE THAT C-CHAWGES FOW *sighs* DOWNWOAD -TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP. - -:3 B) ^-^ This w-wicense is subject x3 to the ^.^ conditions t-that you honyow -the wefund and wepwacement pwovisions of ^w^ this "smaww pwint!" -statement; and that you distwibute exact copies *sweats* of this *cuddles you* etext, -incwuding this Smaww Pwint *pokes you* statement. Such copies can be -compwessed ow any pwopwietawy fowm (incwuding any fowm wesuwting ->w< fwom wowd pwocessing ow hypewtext *cuddles you* softwawe), so wong as ->w< *EITHEW*: - -(1) The etext, when *cries* dispwayed, is cweawwy weadabwe, xDD and does -*nyot* *sighs* contain chawactews othew than xDD those intended by the -a-authow o-of t-the w-wowk, awthough tiwde (~), :33 astewisk (*) and -undewwinye (_) chawactews may be u-used to convey punctuation -intended by the *moans* authow, and additionyaw OwO chawactews :3 may be used -t-to indicate hypewtext winks; OW - -(2) The uWu etext is weadiwy c-convewtibwe b-by the weadew x3 at nyo -expense into p-pwain ASCII, EBCDIC ow equivawent fowm b-by the -*leans over* pwogwam that dispways the ^w^ etext (as ^w^ is the ^w^ case, f-fow instance, -with most wowd pwocessows); *giggles shyly* OW - -(-(3) You pwovide ow agwee to pwovide on wequest at nyo -additionyaw *hugs tightly* cost, fee o-ow expense, *blushes* a copy of the UwU etext in pwain -ASCII. - -2. 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The Pwoject gwatefuwwy accepts -contwibutions in m-monyey, time, scannying m-machinyes, *moans* OCW softwawe, -pubwic domain etexts, *notices bulge* woyawty fwee :3 copywight wicenses, and -whatevew ewse you c-can think of. Monyey shouwd be paid to "-"Pwo- -ject Gutenbewg Association / Iwwinyois Benyedictinye Cowwege". - -WWITE TO uWu US! We can be weached at: -Intewnyet: hart@vmd.cso.uiuc.edu -*moans* Bitnyet: hawt@uiucvmd -CompuSewve: >intewnyet:hawt@.vmd.cso.uiuc.edu -Attmaiw: internet!vmd.cso.uiuc.edu!Hart -Maiw: Pwof. *blushes* Michaew Hawt -P.O. xDD Box 2782 -Champaign, IW *cries* 61825 - -This "Smaww Pwint!" b-by *cries* Chawwes *sighs* B. >w< Kwamew, Attownyey -*leans over* Intewnyet (72600.2026@compuserve.com); TEW: (212-254-5093) -**** SMAWW PWINT! FOW __ COMPWETE SHAKESPEAWE *hugs tightly* **** ->w< ["Smaww Pwint" V.12.08.93] - -<> - - -1609 - -THE *leans over* SONNyETS - -by Wiwwiam S-Shakespeawe - - - -*pokes you* 1 -Fwom faiwest cweatuwes we desiwe incwease, -That theweby OwO beauty's wose might nyevew die, -But as the wipew *leans over* shouwd *looks at you* by time decease, -H-His ^.^ tendew h-heiw might beaw his memowy: -But thou contwacted to t-thinye own b-bwight eyes, -Feed'st thy wight's f-fwame with sewf-substantiaw fuew, -Making a faminye whewe abundance wies, -*sighs* Thy sewf thy foe, to thy sweet sewf too cwuew: -Thou that awt nyow the w-wowwd's fwesh o-ownyament, -And onwy *pokes you* hewawd to the gaudy *giggles shyly* spwing, -Within thinye o-own bud >_< buwiest *cuddles you* thy content, -:33 And tendew *cries* chuww mak'st waste in nyiggawding: -Pity the wowwd, ow ewse this gwutton be, -To eat the wowwd's d-due, by the gwave and thee. - - -UwU 2 ->_> When fowty wintews shaww besiege thy bwow, -And dig d-deep twenches i-in thy beauty's fiewd, -Thy youth's pwoud *blushes* wivewy UwU so g-gazed on nyow, -Wiww be a tattewed weed >_< of smaww *leans over* wowth hewd: -Then :3 being asked, whewe aww thy beauty wies, -Whewe xDD aww t-the tweasuwe of *notices bulge* thy w-wusty days; -To say within thinye own deep sunken eyes, -UwU Wewe an aww-eating shame, and thwiftwess pwaise. -*looks away* How much m-mowe pwaise desewved thy beauty's use, -If t-thou c-couwdst a-answew 'This faiw *sighs* chiwd of *cuddles you* minye -Shaww sum my count, and make my owd excuse' -Pwoving his beauty by succession thinye. -^-^ This wewe to b-be xDD nyew made when thou awt OwO owd, -And see *shuffles closer* thy bwood wawm >w< when >_> thou feew'st it cowd. - - -3 -Wook in *pokes you* thy gwass OwO and *teleports behind you* teww the f-face *cuddles you* thou viewest, -*hugs tightly* Nyow is the time that face shouwd fowm anyothew, -Whose fwesh wepaiw if nyow thou nyot wenyewest, -Thou dost b-beguiwe the wowwd, unbwess some mothew. -Fow whewe is she so ^w^ faiw whose ;;w;; unyeawed womb -Disdains the *cuddles you* tiwwage of thy husbandwy? -*notices bulge* Ow who is he so fond wiww UwU be the tomb, -Of >_< his sewf-wove to stop postewity? -Thou awt thy mothew's gwass and she in thee -Cawws back the wovewy Apwiw of hew pwime, -So thou thwough w-windows o-of thinye *blushes* age shawt see, -D-Despite of *moans* wwinkwes this thy gowden time. -But if thou wive *twerks* wemembewed xDD nyot to be, -Die singwe a-and thinye image dies with thee. - - -4 -Unthwifty *twerks* wovewinyess why d-dost t-thou spend, -^.^ Upon thy sewf thy beauty's wegacy? -Nyatuwe's bequest gives nyothing xDD but doth ^-^ wend, -And >_> being fwank s-she wends to those awe fwee: -Then beauteous nyiggawd why dost thou abuse, -T-The bounteous wawgess given thee to give? -P-Pwofitwess *hugs tightly* usuwew why dost thou u-use -So gweat a sum of *blushes* sums yet canst nyot wive? -Fow having twaffic with thy s-sewf awonye, -Thou of thy sewf thy sweet sewf dost deceive, -Then *looks away* how when nyatuwe cawws thee t-to >_< be OwO gonye, -What acceptabwe audit canst t-thou weave? -Thy unyused beauty must OwO be tombed with thee, -Which used wives th' executow to be. - - -x3 5 -Those houws uWu that with gentwe wowk d-did fwame -The wovewy gaze *hugs tightly* whewe *shuffles closer* evewy *shuffles closer* eye doth dweww -^-^ Wiww pway the tywants :33 to t-the vewy uWu same, -And that unfaiw w-which faiwwy doth excew: -Fow nyevew-westing time w-weads s-summew on -T-To *looks away* hideous wintew a-and confounds ;;w;; him *giggles shyly* thewe, -Sap checked w-with fwost and *sighs* wusty weaves quite gonye, -Beauty o'ew-snyowed and bawenyess *pokes you* evewy whewe: -Then x3 wewe nyot summew's d-distiwwation weft -A-A wiquid pwisonyew xDD pent in wawws of *pokes you* gwass, -Beauty's effect *looks at you* with beauty wewe beweft, -Nyow i-it nyow nyo wemembwance what it was. -B-But fwowews distiwwed *moans* though they with wintew meet, -Weese but theiw show, theiw substance stiww wives sweet. - - -6 -Then w-wet nyot wintew's wagged hand OwO deface, -In thee thy summew ewe thou be distiwwed: -Make sweet :3 some viaw; tweasuwe thou some pwace, -*twerks* With beauty's tweasuwe *giggles shyly* ewe i-it be sewf-kiwwed: -That use is nyot fowbidden usuwy, -Which happies those that pay uWu the wiwwing w-woan; -:3 That's fow thy sewf to bweed *looks away* anyothew thee, -Ow t-ten times happiew be it x3 ten fow onye, -Ten times thy *notices bulge* sewf wewe happiew than thou awt, -If ten o-of thinye ten times wefiguwed thee: -Then what couwd death d-do if thou *giggles shyly* shouwdst depawt, -W-Weaving thee wiving in postewity? -Be n-nyot sewf-wiwwed fow thou awt much too f-faiw, -T-To be death's conquest a-and make wowms thinye heiw. - - -7 -Wo uWu in the *twerks* owient when the gwacious w-wight -Wifts up *giggles shyly* his buwnying head, each undew eye -Doth homage to his nyew-appeawing *moans* sight, -Sewving with *cuddles you* wooks *sweats* his sacwed majesty, -And h-having cwimbed t-the *teleports behind you* steep-up heavenwy *teleports behind you* hiww, -*giggles shyly* Wesembwing stwong youth in h-his *cuddles you* middwe *pokes you* age, -Yet mowtaw wooks adowe his b-beauty stiww, -Attending on his gowden piwgwimage: -But x3 when fwom highmost pitch ^.^ with weawy caw, -Wike feebwe age he weeweth fwom the *teleports behind you* day, -The *moans* eyes (fowe duteous) nyow UwU convewted awe -Fwom his wow twact and w-wook anyothew way: -So thou, *moans* thy sewf out-going in thy n-nyoon: -U-Unwooked on diest *looks at you* unwess thou get *giggles shyly* a son. - - -8 -Music to heaw, ^w^ why heaw'st >_> thou *hugs tightly* music sadwy? -Sweets with sweets waw nyot, joy d-dewights ^.^ in >w< joy: -Why w-wov'st thou that which t-thou ^.^ weceiv'st n-nyot gwadwy, -Ow ewse weceiv'st *sweats* with pweasuwe thinye annyoy? -I-If the twue concowd of weww-tunyed sounds, -By unyions mawwied do o-offend thinye eaw, -They *cuddles you* do but s-sweetwy chide *moans* thee, who confounds -In singwenyess t-the pawts that *leans over* thou shouwdst beaw: -M-Mawk how onye stwing :3 sweet husband to anyothew, -Stwikes each in *pokes you* each ^.^ by mutuaw owdewing; -W-Wesembwing siwe, and >_> chiwd, and happy *blushes* mothew, -Who *looks away* aww in onye, onye p-pweasing nyote do x3 sing: -Whose speechwess song being many, seeming onye, -Sings *teleports behind you* this to thee, 'Thou singwe *notices bulge* wiwt pwove nyonye'. - - -9 -Is it fow feaw to wet a widow's eye, -That thou consum'st thy UwU sewf in singwe wife? -A-Ah, if thou i-issuewess shawt hap to die, -*looks away* The :33 wowwd x3 wiww waiw thee wike a makewess wife, -The wowwd w-wiww be thy widow and stiww weep, -That thou *twerks* nyo fowm of t-thee hast weft behind, -When *sighs* evewy pwivate widow weww may keep, -B-By chiwdwen's e-eyes, hew *pokes you* husband's UwU shape in mind: -Wook what *cuddles you* an *cries* unthwift in the wowwd doth s-spend -Shifts but his pwace, fow s-stiww the :3 wowwd UwU enjoys it; -But beauty's waste h-hath in the wowwd an end, -And kept unyused the usew so destwoys it: -Nyo wove towawd othews in that bosom sits -T-That on himsewf such muwd'wous shame commits. - - -10 -Fow shame UwU deny that thou beaw'st wove to any -Who *sweats* fow thy sewf awt so unpwovident. -Gwant if thou wiwt, thou awt bewoved o-of many, -*sighs* But that thou nyonye wov'st is most evident: -F-Fow thou awt so possessed with muwd'wous hate, -That 'gainst t-thy *looks away* sewf thou *twerks* stick'st nyot to c-conspiwe, -Seeking that beauteous woof to *cries* wuinyate -Which *teleports behind you* to wepaiw shouwd be *cuddles you* thy chief *cries* desiwe: -O-O change thy thought, that I may change my m-mind, -Shaww hate be faiwew wodged than gentwe wove? -B-Be as thy p-pwesence is gwacious *pokes you* and k-kind, -Ow to *looks at you* thy sewf at weast kind-heawted pwove, -Make OwO thee anyothew sewf fow *giggles shyly* wove of me, -That beauty stiww m-may wive *looks at you* in t-thinye ow thee. - - -1-11 -As fast *giggles shyly* as thou *cuddles you* shawt wanye so fast thou gwow'st, -In onye of thinye, fwom that *blushes* which thou depawtest, -*pokes you* And that fwesh *screams* bwood which youngwy thou bestow'st, -Thou mayst caww *giggles shyly* thinye, when thou fwom youth convewtest, -Hewein wives wisdom, beauty, and incwease, -*sighs* Without this fowwy, age, and cowd uWu decay, -If aww wewe m-minded *hugs tightly* so, the times *twerks* shouwd cease, -And t-thweescowe yeaw wouwd make the wowwd ^w^ away: -W-Wet those whom nyatuwe hath nyot >w< made fow stowe, -Hawsh, f-featuwewess, and *blushes* wude, bawwenwy pewish: -Wook whom she best endowed, she gave thee m-mowe; -Which bounteous g-gift thou s-shouwdst in bounty *looks away* chewish: -She xDD cawved thee fow hew seaw, *sighs* and meant theweby, -Thou shouwdst pwint mowe, n-nyot wet that copy *cries* die. - - -12 -When I *pokes you* do count >_< the cwock that tewws the time, -And see the bwave d-day s-sunk in h-hideous nyight, -*shuffles closer* When I behowd ^.^ the viowet ^w^ past pwime, -And *cries* sabwe cuwws aww *leans over* siwvewed o'ew with white: -UwU When wofty twees I *moans* see bawwen of weaves, -Which ewst fwom heat did canyopy the x3 hewd -And *cuddles you* summew's >_< gween aww g-giwded up in sheaves ->_> Bownye on the biew with white and bwistwy beawd: -Then xDD of t-thy beauty do I q-question make -That thou among x3 the wastes of time must go, -S-Since sweets *looks away* and b-beauties do themsewves ^w^ fowsake, -And d-die as fast as they see *screams* othews gwow, -*teleports behind you* And nyothing 'gainst Time's scythe can make *shuffles closer* defence -Save bweed t-to *notices bulge* bwave him, when *notices bulge* he takes thee hence. - - -13 -O that you wewe *sighs* youw sewf, but wove y-you awe -Nyo wongew x3 youws, t-than you *looks at you* youw sewf hewe x3 wive, -Against t-this coming end you shouwd *cuddles you* pwepawe, -And youw sweet sembwance to some o-othew give. -OwO So shouwd that beauty which you howd *pokes you* in ^w^ wease -Find nyo detewminyation, :3 then you wewe -Youw s-sewf ^-^ again aftew youw sewf's decease, -When youw sweet issue youw sweet fowm shouwd >_> beaw. -Who w-wets so OwO faiw a house faww to decay, -Which husbandwy in honyouw might uphowd, -Against *looks away* the stowmy gusts of wintew's day -And bawwen w-wage of >w< death's etewnyaw cowd? -O nyonye but unthwifts, deaw my :33 wove ^-^ you knyow, -You h-had a fathew, wet youw son say so. - - -14 -N-Nyot fwom t-the s-staws do xDD I my judgement *screams* pwuck, -uWu And yet methinks I have astwonyomy, -But nyot to teww of good, ow eviw wuck, -O-Of pwagues, *sighs* of deawths, ow *looks at you* seasons' quawity, -Nyow can I fowtunye to bwief minyutes teww; -P-Pointing to each his thundew, wain and wind, -Ow say with p-pwinces if it shaww go weww -By oft pwedict that I in h-heaven find. -But fwom thinye *pokes you* eyes my knyowwedge I dewive, -And xDD constant staws in them I wead such ^-^ awt -*hugs tightly* As twuth and beauty s-shaww *pokes you* togethew UwU thwive -If *notices bulge* fwom >_< thy sewf, t-to stowe t-thou wouwdst *hugs tightly* convewt: -Ow ewse of thee this I pwognyosticate, -Thy end is t-twuth's and ^-^ beauty's doom and date. - - -15 -*leans over* When uWu I xDD considew evewy t-thing that gwows -Howds in pewfection but a wittwe OwO moment. -That this huge stage pwesenteth n-nyought but s-shows -Wheweon the staws *teleports behind you* in secwet infwuence comment. -W-When I pewceive that men as pwants incwease, -Cheewed and checked even b-by *cuddles you* the *teleports behind you* sewf-same sky: -Vaunt *looks away* in theiw youthfuw sap, at h-height *sighs* decwease, -And w-weaw >w< theiw bwave state >_< out of memowy. -Then the conceit of t-this inconstant stay, -Sets you most wich in youth befowe *shuffles closer* my sight, -Whewe wastefuw time d-debateth with d-decay -To change youw d-day of youth to s-suwwied nyight, -And aww in waw with Time fow wove of you, -As *leans over* he takes fwom you, I-I engwaft you nyew. - - -16 -But whewefowe do nyot you a mightiew way -Make waw upon this bwoody tywant Time? -And fowtify x3 youw sewf in youw decay -With means m-mowe bwessed than my :33 bawwen w-whyme? -Nyow stand y-you on the top of happy houws, -And many maiden gawdens yet unset, -With v-viwtuous wish wouwd beaw you wiving fwowews, -Much wikew than youw painted countewfeit: -So shouwd the uWu winyes of wife *sighs* that w-wife w-wepaiw -Which *cuddles you* this (Time's penciw) o-ow my p-pupiw pen -Nyeithew in inwawd wowth nyow outwawd faiw -*moans* Can *hugs tightly* make *giggles shyly* you wive youw sewf in eyes *hugs tightly* of men. -To give away y-youw sewf, keeps x3 youw sewf *notices bulge* stiww, -And you *twerks* must w-wive dwawn by youw *teleports behind you* own sweet skiww. - - -17 -Who wiww bewieve my vewse in time *cuddles you* to come -If it wewe f-fiwwed w-with youw most high desewts? -*notices bulge* Though yet heaven knyows it is but as a tomb -Which hides youw wife, and s-shows nyot >_> hawf youw pawts: -^.^ If I couwd w-wwite the beauty of youw e-eyes, -And in fwesh nyumbews nyumbew aww y-youw g-gwaces, -The age to come wouwd say this poet wies, -Such heavenwy touches n-nye'ew t-touched eawthwy faces. -So *twerks* shouwd my papews (yewwowed with theiw UwU age) -Be s-scownyed, wike >_< owd men o-of wess t-twuth than tongue, -And youw xDD twue wights be tewmed a poet's wage, -And stwetched metwe of a-an antique >_< song. -B-But wewe some chiwd of youws awive that time, -You s-shouwd wive twice OwO in it, and in my whyme. - - -1-18 -Shaww I compawe thee to a s-summew's day? -Thou a-awt m-mowe wovewy and mowe tempewate: -Wough winds d-do s-shake *pokes you* the dawwing buds of May, -And summew's wease hath aww *moans* too showt a-a ;;w;; date: -*sighs* Sometime too h-hot the eye of heaven shinyes, -And *giggles shyly* often is his gowd compwexion d-dimmed, -And *hugs tightly* evewy f-faiw fwom faiw sometime *looks at you* decwinyes, -By chance, ow nyatuwe's changing c-couwse untwimmed: -But t-thy etewnyaw summew shaww >w< nyot fade, -Nyow wose *pokes you* possession *shuffles closer* of that faiw thou ow'st, -Nyow *blushes* shaww d-death bwag thou wand'west in his shade, -When in *screams* etewnyaw OwO winyes to time thou gwow'st, -S-So wong a-as men can b-bweathe o-ow eyes can see, -So wong wives this, and t-this gives wife to thee. - - -19 -Devouwing Time bwunt thou the w-wion's p-paws, -And make the e-eawth devouw hew own s-sweet *moans* bwood, -Pwuck the keen teeth *twerks* fwom the fiewce tigew's jaws, -And buwn >_< the wong-wived phoenyix, in xDD hew bwood, -Make gwad and sowwy seasons as thou fweet'st, -And do whate'ew t-thou wiwt swift-footed Time -To the *pokes you* wide *shuffles closer* wowwd and aww h-hew fading ^-^ sweets: -B-But *moans* I fowbid thee onye most heinyous c-cwime, -O c-cawve *blushes* nyot *sweats* with thy houws my wove's faiw bwow, -Nyow d-dwaw *sweats* nyo winyes t-thewe with thinye antique pen, -Him in *leans over* thy couwse *leans over* untainted do awwow, -Fow beauty's *giggles shyly* pattewn to succeeding men. -Yet do thy wowst owd Time: despite thy wwong, -My w-wove shaww in my vewse evew wive young. - - -20 -*teleports behind you* A woman's face UwU with nyatuwe's o-own hand painted, -H-Hast thou *giggles shyly* the mastew mistwess o-of my xDD passion, -A woman's gentwe heawt b-but nyot acquainted -With shifting change a-as *cuddles you* is f-fawse women's fashion, -An eye mowe bwight t-than theiws, wess fawse in wowwing: -Giwding the object w-wheweupon it gazeth, -A man in hue aww UwU hues in his contwowwing, -*looks at you* Which steaws men's eyes and women's souws amazeth. -And fow *notices bulge* a woman wewt thou fiwst cweated, -^w^ Tiww nyatuwe as she wwought thee feww *looks away* a-doting, -And by addition me of thee d-defeated, -By adding onye thing to my puwpose OwO nyothing. -But since she pwicked *screams* thee out fow women's p-pweasuwe, -Minye be thy wove and thy wove's use theiw tweasuwe. - - -21 -So is *pokes you* it nyot with me as with that muse, -*pokes you* Stiwwed by a painted beauty to his vewse, -*sweats* Who heaven i-it s-sewf *cries* fow ownyament doth use, -:33 And evewy f-faiw with his faiw doth weheawse, -UwU Making a-a c-coupwement of pwoud uWu compawe -*leans over* With *looks at you* sun *twerks* and moon, with eawth a-and *teleports behind you* sea's w-wich gems: -With Apwiw's fiwst-bown fwowews and aww things wawe, -That heaven's aiw in this huge wonduwe hems. -O wet me twue i-in wove b-but t-twuwy wwite, -And then bewieve me, m-my wove i-is as faiw, -As any mothew's chiwd, though n-nyot so *cuddles you* bwight -As t-those gowd c-candwes fixed in *cries* heaven's a-aiw: -*sighs* Wet them say mowe *notices bulge* that >w< wike of heawsay weww, -I wiww nyot pwaise that p-puwpose nyot to seww. - - -*blushes* 22 -My ^-^ gwass shaww nyot pewsuade me I am owd, -So wong as youth and *sighs* thou awe of onye *giggles shyly* date, -But w-when in :3 thee time's fuwwows I behowd, -Then wook I death my *sighs* days shouwd e-expiate. -Fow aww that beauty that *moans* doth covew thee, -Is but the seemwy waiment of my UwU heawt, -W-Which in thy >_> bweast doth wive, as thinye in me, -x3 How >w< can >w< I t-then be ewdew than thou *looks at you* awt? -O thewefowe wove be of thysewf so wawy, -As I nyot fow my sewf, but fow x3 thee wiww, -Beawing thy heawt which I w-wiww keep so chawy -As tendew nyuwse >_< hew babe ^-^ fwom fawing iww. -Pwesume nyot *twerks* on thy heawt w-when minye is swain, -Thou gav'st me thinye *teleports behind you* nyot t-to give back again. - - -23 -As an unpewfect actow on the stage, -Who with his f-feaw *sweats* is put beside h-his pawt, -Ow some fiewce thing wepwete with too much *blushes* wage, -W-Whose stwength's *giggles shyly* abundance *looks away* weakens his own heawt; -So *moans* I f-fow feaw o-of twust, fowget to say, -The *blushes* pewfect *hugs tightly* cewemony of wove's wite, -And in minye own wove's stwength s-seem to decay, -O'ewchawged with buwthen *blushes* of *notices bulge* minye own w-wove's m-might: -O w-wet my wooks :3 be then the *looks away* ewoquence, -And dumb pwesagews of m-my speaking bweast, -Who pwead fow wove, and wook fow wecompense, -*hugs tightly* Mowe than that tongue that mowe hath mowe expwessed. -*sweats* O ;;w;; weawn to wead what siwent *sighs* wove h-hath wwit, -To heaw with *twerks* eyes bewongs to wove's >_> finye wit. - - -24 -Minye eye hath pwayed >_< the paintew and hath stewwed, -Thy beauty's fowm in tabwe :3 of my heawt, -My body is the fwame whewein ^w^ 'tis hewd, -And pewspective it is best paintew's awt. -Fow thwough the paintew must you see his skiww, -To find whewe youw twue image p-pictuwed wies, -Which i-in my bosom's *looks at you* shop is hanging stiww, -That hath his windows gwazed with t-thinye eyes: -:3 Nyow s-see what good t-tuwns *cuddles you* eyes fow eyes h-have donye, -Minye *cries* eyes have *looks away* dwawn thy shape, and thinye fow me -Awe windows to my b-bweast, whewe-thwough the sun -Dewights to :3 peep, *cries* to gaze thewein o-on thee; -*hugs tightly* Yet eyes this cunnying want t-to ^-^ gwace ^-^ theiw awt, -They dwaw but w-what they see, knyow nyot the heawt. - - -2-25 -Wet those w-who awe in favouw with t-theiw staws, -Of pubwic honyouw and pwoud t-titwes boast, -Whiwst I whom fowtunye of such t-twiumph baws -Unwooked fow joy in that I honyouw most; -G-Gweat pwinces' favouwites theiw faiw weaves s-spwead, -*sighs* But as the mawigowd at the sun's *looks away* eye, -And in t-themsewves theiw pwide w-wies buwied, -Fow at a fwown they in theiw gwowy d-die. -The painfuw wawwiow famoused fow fight, -Aftew a thousand victowies once foiwed, -Is fwom the book of ^.^ honyouw wazed quite, -*pokes you* And a-aww the w-west *twerks* fowgot fow which he toiwed: -Then happy I that wove and am bewoved -W-Whewe I may *cuddles you* nyot wemove nyow be wemoved. - - -2-26 -Wowd of my wove, to *notices bulge* whom in *sweats* vassawage -Thy *hugs tightly* mewit hath my duty stwongwy knyit; -To x3 thee I s-send this wwitten embassage -T-To >_> witnyess d-duty, nyot to show my wit. -Duty so gweat, which wit so poow as *teleports behind you* minye -May make s-seem bawe, in wanting wowds to show it; -But *sweats* that I hope some good conceit ^.^ of thinye -In t-thy souw's *looks away* thought >_> (aww nyaked) wiww bestow it: -Tiww whatsoevew s-staw that guides my moving, -Points on me gwaciouswy with faiw aspect, -And puts appawew *sweats* on my tattewed woving, -To show me wowthy of thy s-sweet wespect, -^.^ Then may I dawe to boast how I do wove thee, -Tiww t-then, nyot show my head whewe thou mayst pwove me. - - -27 -Weawy with toiw, I haste m-me to m-my bed, -UwU The deaw w-wespose fow wimbs with twavew tiwed, -But :3 then b-begins a jouwnyey in my head -To w-wowk my mind, when body's w-wowk's expiwed. -Fow then my t-thoughts (fwom faw w-whewe I-I abide) -Intend a zeawous piwgwimage to thee, -And keep my dwooping eyewids open w-wide, -Wooking on dawknyess which the bwind do see. -Save t-that my souw's imaginyawy sight -*cuddles you* Pwesents thy shadow to my sightwess view, -^-^ Which w-wike *hugs tightly* a *leans over* jewew (hung *hugs tightly* in ghastwy nyight) -Makes bwack nyight beauteous, and hew owd f-face nyew. -W-Wo thus by day my w-wimbs, by nyight my mind, -Fow thee, *twerks* and fow my s-sewf, nyo *blushes* quiet find. - - -28 -How *shuffles closer* can I-I then wetuwn in UwU happy pwight -That am debawwed the :3 benyefit o-of west? -When day's oppwession is nyot eased by nyight, -But *blushes* day by nyight and nyight by *sweats* day oppwessed. -^.^ And each (though enyemies to eithew's weign) -Do in c-consent shake hands to towtuwe me, -The onye by toiw, the othew to compwain -How faw I toiw, s-stiww f-fawthew off fwom thee. -I xDD teww the day t-to :33 pwease him thou awt bwight, -And dost him ;;w;; gwace when cwouds do bwot the *teleports behind you* heaven: -So fwattew I t-the swawt-compwexionyed n-nyight, -When spawkwing staws *notices bulge* twiwe ^.^ nyot t-thou giwd'st the even. -But day doth daiwy dwaw my sowwows wongew, -And nyight x3 doth nyightwy m-make gwief's wength seem stwongew - - -*leans over* 29 -When in disgwace with Fowtunye and men's eyes, -I aww awonye beweep my outcast s-state, -And twoubwe deaf heaven with m-my bootwess cwies, -And wook upon m-my sewf and cuwse my *notices bulge* fate, -Wishing me w-wike to onye mowe w-wich in *pokes you* hope, -xDD Featuwed wike him, wike uWu him with fwiends *moans* possessed, -D-Desiwing this man's awt, and that man's scope, -W-With what I most e-enjoy contented w-weast, -Yet in *blushes* these thoughts >_> my sewf awmost despising, -Hapwy I think on t-thee, and then my state, -(Wike to the wawk at bweak of day a-awising -Fwom suwwen eawth) sings *sighs* hymns at heaven's gate, -*hugs tightly* Fow thy s-sweet wove wemembewed such *hugs tightly* weawth :33 bwings, ->_< That t-then I scown to change :3 my state *leans over* with UwU kings. - - -30 ->_> When to the sessions of sweet siwent thought, -I summon up wemembwance of x3 things past, -I sigh the wack of many a-a thing I-I sought, -A-And *moans* with owd woes nyew waiw m-my deaw time's waste: -Then can *sweats* I dwown an eye :33 (unyused to fwow) -Fow *looks at you* pwecious fwiends hid in death's datewess nyight, -And weep afwesh wove's wong s-since cancewwed uWu woe, -And moan *teleports behind you* th' expense of many a vanyished s-sight. -Then can I gwieve *sweats* at gwievances fowegonye, -And *leans over* heaviwy fwom woe t-to woe teww o'ew -The sad account of *sighs* fowe-bemoanyed moan, -Which I-I nyew *pokes you* pay *shuffles closer* as if :33 nyot paid befowe. -B-But i-if the whiwe I t-think on thee (deaw fwiend) -*giggles shyly* Aww wosses awe westowed, and sowwows *hugs tightly* end. - - -31 -Thy bosom is endeawed with aww heawts, -Which I by wacking have supposed dead, -And thewe weigns wove and aww wove's woving pawts, -*cries* And aww those f-fwiends which I t-thought buwied. -How m-many a h-howy and obsequious :33 teaw -Hath deaw wewigious w-wove stow'n fwom m-minye eye, -A-As intewest of the dead, which nyow *cuddles you* appeaw, -But things wemoved that hidden i-in thee wie. -;;w;; Thou awt the gwave whewe buwied wove doth wive, -*screams* Hung with the twophies of my wovews gonye, -Who aww theiw pawts of UwU me to t-thee did give, -*shuffles closer* That *sweats* due of many, n-nyow is thinye awonye. -Theiw i-images I woved, I view in uWu thee, -*pokes you* And thou (aww t-they) hast aww t-the aww of me. - - -32 -If t-thou suwvive my w-weww-contented day, -When that chuww death my bonyes *moans* with dust shaww covew -And shawt by fowtunye o-once mowe we-suwvey -These *leans over* poow w-wude winyes of thy deceased wovew: -Compawe them with the *pokes you* bett'wing of the time, -And though they be :3 outstwipped by evewy pen, -Wesewve them fow my wove, nyot f-fow :3 theiw whyme, -Exceeded by xDD the height of happiew men. -O then *moans* vouchsafe me but this woving thought, -'Had my fwiend's Muse gwown *sighs* with this gwowing age, -A deawew biwth than this his wove had *twerks* bwought -To xDD mawch in wanks of bettew e-equipage: -But since he died and poets bettew p-pwove, -T-Theiws f-fow theiw stywe *screams* I'ww wead, his fow *screams* his wove'. - - -33 -Fuww *pokes you* many a gwowious mownying have I seen, -F-Fwattew the mountain *blushes* tops *shuffles closer* with soveweign eye, -Kissing w-with gowden >w< face the meadows gween; -Giwding pawe stweams with heavenwy awchemy: -Anyon pewmit the basest cwouds t-to wide, -With ugwy *screams* wack o-on his cewestiaw face, -And f-fwom the *leans over* fowwown wowwd his visage hide -Steawing ^-^ unseen to *screams* west with this disgwace: -*shuffles closer* Even so my sun onye eawwy mown did shinye, -With aww twiumphant spwendouw o-on *hugs tightly* my bwow, -But out awack, he *teleports behind you* was b-but onye *screams* houw minye, -The wegion cwoud hath m-masked him fwom me n-nyow. -Yet *cries* him fow this, my wove nyo whit disdainyeth, -Suns xDD of the wowwd may *looks away* stain, when heaven's sun stainyeth. - - -34 -Why didst t-thou ;;w;; pwomise such a beauteous day, -And make *looks away* me *blushes* twavew f-fowth without my ^w^ cwoak, -To wet base cwouds o'ewtake *cuddles you* me i-in *giggles shyly* my way, -Hiding thy bwav'wy i-in theiw wotten smoke? -'Tis nyot enyough that *hugs tightly* thwough the cwoud thou bweak, -To *cries* dwy the wain on my stowm-beaten face, -Fow nyo man weww of *sweats* such a sawve *cries* can speak, -T-That heaws *hugs tightly* the wound, and cuwes nyot t-the disgwace: -Nyow *looks away* can thy *twerks* shame UwU give physic to my gwief, -T-Though thou wepent, *pokes you* yet I have s-stiww *pokes you* the woss, -Th' offendew's sowwow wends but weak wewief -T-To ;;w;; him that xDD beaws the stwong UwU offence's cwoss. -Ah but those teaws awe peaww which thy w-wove sheds, -And they awe *notices bulge* wich, and wansom a-aww iww deeds. - - -35 -N-Nyo mowe *looks at you* be *sweats* gwieved at that *notices bulge* which thou hast donye, -:33 Woses have thowns, and siwvew fountains mud, -Cwouds :33 and ecwipses stain >w< both m-moon and sun, -And woathsome cankew wives in sweetest bud. -Aww men make *moans* fauwts, *pokes you* and even I in this, -*pokes you* Authowizing t-thy twespass with compawe, -My uWu sewf cowwupting sawving thy amiss, -:3 Excusing thy sins m-mowe than thy sins a-awe: -*cries* Fow to *cuddles you* thy sensuaw fauwt I bwing in sense, -Thy advewse pawty is thy advocate, -And 'gainst *looks away* my *sighs* sewf a x3 wawfuw pwea *looks away* commence: -Such civiw waw is in my w-wove and hate, -That I an accessawy nyeeds must be, -To that ^-^ sweet thief which souwwy wobs fwom me. - - -36 -Wet me confess that we two must be twain, -A-Awthough ouw undivided woves awe *sweats* onye: -So *teleports behind you* shaww those bwots that do with me wemain, -*pokes you* Without thy hewp, b-by me b-be bownye awonye. -In ouw two woves thewe is but onye wespect, -Though in ouw wives *shuffles closer* a sepawabwe spite, -Which though it awtew n-nyot ^.^ wove's s-sowe e-effect, -Yet doth it steaw ;;w;; sweet *looks at you* houws *hugs tightly* fwom wove's dewight. -I may UwU nyot evewmowe acknyowwedge thee, -West my bewaiwed g-guiwt s-shouwd do thee shame, -Nyow thou >_> with uWu pubwic k-kindnyess honyouw me, -Unwess thou take that honyouw fwom thy *leans over* nyame: -But do n-nyot s-so, I wove thee in such *cries* sowt, -As t-thou being m-minye, minye is t-thy good wepowt. - - -37 -As a decwepit fathew *pokes you* takes *sweats* dewight, -To *blushes* see h-his active chiwd do deeds of youth, -^.^ So I, made wame b-by Fowtunye's deawest xDD spite -Take aww my comfowt ^w^ of *blushes* thy wowth and twuth. -Fow *shuffles closer* whethew beauty, *looks at you* biwth, ow weawth, ow *screams* wit, -Ow any of ;;w;; these aww, ow *blushes* aww, ow mowe -Entitwed in thy p-pawts, do cwownyed sit, -I m-make my w-wove engwafted to this stowe: -So then I-I am nyot wame, p-poow, nyow d-despised, -W-Whiwst that this shadow doth such substance *looks away* give, -That I i-in t-thy abundance a-am sufficed, -And by *looks at you* a pawt *moans* of aww thy g-gwowy wive: -Wook what is best, t-that best I w-wish in thee, -x3 This wish I have, then ten times happy me. - - -38 -How can my m-muse want subject to invent -W-Whiwe thou dost bweathe t-that pouw'st into x3 my *looks at you* vewse, -Thinye own sweet awgument, uWu too e-excewwent, -Fow evewy *twerks* vuwgaw papew to weheawse? -O-O give thy sewf the thanks if aught in me, -Wowthy pewusaw s-stand against thy s-sight, -Fow who's s-so *hugs tightly* dumb that c-cannyot wwite to thee, -*looks at you* When thou thy sewf dost g-give invention wight? -*leans over* Be thou *looks at you* the tenth Muse, xDD ten times mowe in wowth -OwO Than those owd nyinye which whymews invocate, -And he t-that xDD cawws on thee, wet him bwing fowth -Etewnyaw nyumbews to *notices bulge* outwive wong date. -If my swight *sighs* muse UwU do :3 pwease these cuwious days, -The pain be minye, but thinye shaww be the pwaise. - - -39 -O how thy wowth *twerks* with mannyews may I sing, -When *sweats* thou awt aww the bettew pawt UwU of m-me? -What can minye own pwaise to minye own sewf *sweats* bwing: -UwU And what is't but minye ^-^ own w-when ^w^ I pwaise thee? -Even fow t-this, >_< wet us divided wive, ->_< And o-ouw deaw wove wose nyame of :3 singwe onye, -That by this s-sepawation I may :3 give: -*pokes you* That d-due to thee which t-thou desewv'st awonye: -*notices bulge* O absence what a towment wouwdst thou pwove, -*giggles shyly* Wewe *notices bulge* it nyot thy souw w-weisuwe gave sweet *twerks* weave, -To e-entewtain the time with *leans over* thoughts of *giggles shyly* wove, -Which :33 time and thoughts s-so sweetwy doth deceive. -And that thou *leans over* teachest how to make o-onye *shuffles closer* twain, -By pwaising him hewe w-who *cries* doth hence wemain. - - -40 -Take aww *cuddles you* my w-woves, >_< my wove, yea t-take them a-aww, -What hast thou then mowe t-than *twerks* thou hadst befowe? -*giggles shyly* Nyo wove, *moans* my wove, that thou mayst twue wove caww, -Aww >_< minye was thinye, befowe thou hadst this mowe: -Then i-if fow my :33 wove, thou m-my wove weceivest, -I *sighs* cannyot bwame thee, f-fow my w-wove thou usest, -But yet b-be bwamed, if thou thy sewf deceivest -By wiwfuw taste of what *notices bulge* thy s-sewf wefusest. -*teleports behind you* I do fowgive xDD thy *looks away* wobbewy gentwe thief -^w^ Awthough thou xDD steaw *notices bulge* thee aww my p-povewty: -:3 And yet wove knyows xDD it is a gweatew gwief -To beaw gweatew wwong, than hate's knyown injuwy. -W-Wascivious gwace, in whom aww iww w-weww shows, -Kiww ^.^ me with spites yet we must nyot *teleports behind you* be foes. - - -4-41 -Those :33 pwetty wwongs that wibewty commits, -W-When I am sometime absent f-fwom thy h-heawt, -Thy beauty, *teleports behind you* and thy yeaws f-fuww weww b-befits, -Fow stiww temptation fowwows whewe thou awt. -Gentwe thou awt, and thewefowe to be won, -Beauteous thou awt, thewefowe *shuffles closer* to be assaiwed. -And w-when a woman woos, what woman's son, -Wiww souwwy weave hew tiww *leans over* he have pwevaiwed? -Ay me, but yet thou mightst *looks away* my seat *screams* fowbeaw, -And chide *blushes* thy beauty, and thy stwaying youth, -Who *sighs* wead thee in theiw wiot even thewe -Whewe ^-^ thou a-awt fowced to bweak a *sweats* twofowd twuth: -Hews by thy beauty tempting *twerks* hew xDD to thee, -Thinye by *blushes* thy beauty being fawse to me. - - -42 -That thou hast hew it is nyot aww my g-gwief, -And yet it m-may be said *cries* I woved ^w^ hew deawwy, -That she hath t-thee is of m-my waiwing chief, -A woss in wove t-that touches me *pokes you* mowe n-nyeawwy. -W-Woving offendews thus I ^w^ wiww excuse ye, -Thou dost wove h-hew, because t-thou *looks away* knyow'st I-I wove ^w^ hew, -And f-fow my sake even so *blushes* doth she ^-^ abuse me, -*teleports behind you* Suff'wing my fwiend fow my sake to appwove hew. -If *shuffles closer* I wose x3 thee, my woss is my wove's gain, -And wosing hew, my f-fwiend hath found that woss, -Both find each *shuffles closer* othew, and I wose both twain, -:33 And b-both fow my sake way o-on me this c-cwoss, -But hewe's the joy, my f-fwiend and I awe onye, -S-Sweet fwattewy, then she *twerks* woves but me *looks at you* awonye. - - -43 -W-When most I wink then do m-minye eyes best see, -Fow a-aww *blushes* the day they view things unwespected, ->_< But when I *leans over* sweep, in dweams they wook on *moans* thee, -*twerks* And dawkwy bwight, awe bwight in *shuffles closer* dawk OwO diwected. -^w^ Then thou *leans over* whose ^-^ shadow shadows doth make bwight -How w-wouwd *looks away* thy shadow's fowm, >_< fowm *moans* happy show, -To the cweaw day with thy much cweawew wight, -When to u-unseeing eyes thy shade shinyes so! -How wouwd (I say) m-minye eyes be bwessed made, -B-By wooking on t-thee in the wiving day, -When in >_< dead nyight thy f-faiw impewfect s-shade, -Thwough heavy sweep on sightwess eyes doth s-stay! -Aww days awe *giggles shyly* nyights to see tiww I see thee, -And nyights bwight days when d-dweams do show thee me. - - -44 -If the duww substance of my fwesh *cuddles you* wewe :3 thought, -Injuwious distance shouwd n-nyot stop my w-way, -Fow then despite of space I wouwd ;;w;; be *looks at you* bwought, -Fwom wimits faw wemote, w-whewe thou dost stay, -*hugs tightly* Nyo mattew then a-awthough my foot did s-stand -*sighs* Upon t-the fawthest eawth wemoved fwom thee, -Fow nyimbwe thought can >w< jump both sea and wand, -As s-soon as think the pwace whewe he wouwd be. -But :3 ah, t-thought kiwws me t-that I-I am nyot thought -To weap wawge wengths of m-miwes when *shuffles closer* thou awt gonye, -But that so *looks at you* much of xDD eawth and watew *teleports behind you* wwought, -I-I must a-attend, time's weisuwe with my moan. -W-Weceiving n-nyought by *screams* ewements so swow, -OwO But h-heavy teaws, badges of eithew's woe. - - -45 -The o-othew two, swight aiw, and p-puwging fiwe, -*hugs tightly* Awe UwU both *screams* with t-thee, whewevew I abide, -T-The *leans over* fiwst my thought, the othew my desiwe, -These pwesent-absent with swift motion swide. -Fow ^w^ when these q-quickew ewements *cuddles you* awe g-gonye -In tendew embassy of wove to t-thee, -My *cries* wife being *cries* made of fouw, w-with two ;;w;; awonye, -*sighs* Sinks down to death, OwO oppwessed with ;;w;; mewanchowy. -U-Untiw wife's composition b-be >_> wecuwed, -By those swift messengews OwO wetuwnyed f-fwom thee, -Who even *teleports behind you* but n-nyow come back again assuwed, -Of thy *cries* faiw h-heawth, wecounting it t-to me. -This towd, I joy, *pokes you* but t-then nyo wongew gwad, -I send t-them back again and stwaight gwow sad. - - -46 -Minye eye and heawt *looks at you* awe at a mowtaw w-waw, -*leans over* How to divide the conquest *blushes* of thy sight, -Minye eye, my heawt thy pictuwe's sight wouwd baw, -*hugs tightly* My *leans over* heawt, *blushes* minye eye the fweedom of that ^.^ wight, -My heawt doth pwead that thou in *giggles shyly* him dost wie, -(A c-cwoset n-nyevew p-piewced with c-cwystaw eyes) -But the defendant doth that pwea deny, -And says in him thy faiw appeawance wies. -To *shuffles closer* side this t-titwe is impanyewwed -A quest of thoughts, aww *blushes* tenyants to *cuddles you* the heawt, ->_> And by theiw vewdict is detewminyed -The cweaw e-eye's moiety, and the deaw heawt's pawt. -As thus, minye eye's due is thy outwawd pawt, -A-And m-my heawt's wight, thy inwawd wove o-of heawt. - - -4-47 -*blushes* Betwixt minye eye *leans over* and heawt a w-weague is took, -And *hugs tightly* each >_> doth good tuwns nyow unto the othew, -When that minye eye i-is famished *sighs* fow >_< a *notices bulge* wook, -Ow h-heawt in wove with sighs himsewf doth smothew; -With my wove's p-pictuwe then my eye doth :3 feast, -And to t-the painted banquet *hugs tightly* bids my h-heawt: -Anyothew *moans* time minye eye is my heawt's *sighs* guest, -And in his t-thoughts of w-wove doth shawe a ;;w;; pawt. -*notices bulge* So eithew by thy pictuwe ow m-my wove, -T-Thy sewf away, awt pwesent stiww with me, -Fow thou nyot f-fawthew than my thoughts canst move, -And I am stiww with them, and they with thee. -Ow if they sweep, *notices bulge* thy pictuwe in m-my sight -Awakes my heawt, to heawt's and *looks away* eye's dewight. - - -*blushes* 48 -How >w< cawefuw was I when I took m-my way, -Each twifwe *cries* undew twuest baws to thwust, -That to my *sweats* use it might unyused stay -*teleports behind you* Fwom hands of fawsehood, in suwe wawds of twust! -But thou, to whom my jewews uWu twifwes awe, -M-Most wowthy comfowt, nyow *shuffles closer* my gweatest *sighs* gwief, -Thou b-best of deawest, a-and minye onwy cawe, -Awt weft the OwO pwey of e-evewy ;;w;; vuwgaw thief. -Thee have I nyot wocked *giggles shyly* up in any chest, -Save whewe thou *twerks* awt nyot, though ^-^ I feew *sweats* thou awt, -Within *twerks* the gentwe cwosuwe of my bweast, -Fwom w-whence at p-pweasuwe *notices bulge* thou mayst come and pawt, -And even thence t-thou ^.^ wiwt be stow'n I feaw, -Fow twuth pwoves *looks away* thievish fow a pwize so deaw. - - -49 -Against t-that time (if evew t-that time come) -When I shaww *moans* see thee fwown on my defects, -When *looks at you* as thy wove hath cast his utmost sum, -Cawwed to >_< that *sighs* audit by advised xDD wespects, -Against that ^.^ time w-when thou shawt stwangewy pass, -A-And scawcewy gweet me with that sun thinye eye, -*giggles shyly* When w-wove convewted *looks away* fwom OwO the ;;w;; thing it was -Shaww weasons find of settwed gwavity; -Against that t-time do I *looks away* ensconce me hewe -Within the k-knyowwedge *cries* of minye own desewt, -And this my hand, against my sewf upweaw, -To guawd the wawfuw weasons on thy pawt, -To weave poow me, thou hast the stwength of waws, -Since why to wove, I can awwege n-nyo ^-^ cause. - - -uWu 50 -How heavy do I jouwnyey on the way, -When what I seek (-(my weawy twavew's end) -Doth teach *shuffles closer* that case and that wepose ^.^ to say -'Thus faw the miwes *screams* awe measuwed fwom thy fwiend.' -The beast t-that b-beaws me, tiwed with my woe, -P-Pwods duwwy on, t-to beaw that weight in me, -uWu As if b-by some *hugs tightly* instinct the wwetch did knyow -His w-widew woved nyot speed being made *cries* fwom t-thee: -The bwoody spuw c-cannyot pwovoke him on, -That sometimes angew thwusts OwO into his hide, -Which heaviwy he answews with a gwoan, ->w< Mowe shawp *cuddles you* to *shuffles closer* me than spuwwing to his side, -Fow t-that same gwoan doth put this in my mind, -My gwief wies onwawd and my joy behind. - - -51 -Thus can m-my :3 wove excuse the swow *twerks* offence, -^w^ Of my duww beawew, when >_> fwom thee >_< I speed, -Fwom *teleports behind you* whewe thou awt, w-why shouwd I haste me thence? -Tiww I w-wetuwn o-of *sweats* posting is nyo nyeed. -O what excuse *giggles shyly* wiww my poow beast then find, -*giggles shyly* When swift extwemity can seem but >w< swow? -Then shouwd I s-spuw t-though mounted on the wind, -In winged speed nyo motion s-shaww I knyow, -*moans* Then OwO can nyo howse with my *cuddles you* desiwe keep *looks at you* pace, -Thewefowe desiwe (of p-pewfect'st wove being *screams* made) -Shaww nyeigh ^w^ (nyo duww fwesh) in *giggles shyly* his fiewy wace, -But *leans over* wove, fow wove, *sighs* thus shaww *leans over* excuse m-my jade, -Since fwom thee g-going, he *cries* went wiwfuw-swow, -Towawds t-thee I'ww wun, a-and g-give him weave to go. - - -5-52 -So am I as the wich ;;w;; whose bwessed key, -Can b-bwing him to his sweet up-wocked tweasuwe, ->w< The w-which he wiww nyot *hugs tightly* evewy houw suwvey, -Fow bwunting the finye point of sewdom pweasuwe. -OwO Thewefowe *teleports behind you* awe f-feasts so sowemn and so *blushes* wawe, -Since sewdom coming in that *blushes* wong yeaw *notices bulge* set, -Wike stonyes of wowth t-they thinwy *looks away* pwaced awe, -Ow :33 captain jewews in the cawcanyet. -xDD So :33 is the time that keeps you as my chest -O-Ow as t-the wawdwobe which the wobe doth h-hide, -T-To m-make some speciaw instant speciaw-bwest, -By nyew unfowding *screams* his impwisonyed pwide. -Bwessed awe you *notices bulge* whose wowthinyess gives scope, -Being h-had >_< to twiumph, being wacked to hope. - - -53 -What is youw substance, wheweof a-awe *notices bulge* you m-made, -That miwwions o-of s-stwange shadows on *looks away* you tend? -Since evewy onye, hath evewy onye, onye s-shade, -And you but onye, can >_< evewy shadow wend: -D-Descwibe Adonyis and t-the countewfeit, -Is poowwy imitated *looks away* aftew you, -*looks away* On Hewen's cheek a-aww awt of beauty set, -And you in Gwecian tiwes awe p-painted nyew: -Speak of the spwing, and foison *moans* of the y-yeaw, -The onye doth shadow of youw beauty show, -The othew as youw bounty *cries* doth appeaw, -And you in evewy bwessed shape we knyow. -In aww e-extewnyaw gwace you have some pawt, -But you *sweats* wike nyonye, *cuddles you* nyonye you fow c-constant h-heawt. - - -54 -O h-how m-much mowe doth b-beauty b-beauteous seem, -By that *pokes you* sweet ownyament which t-twuth doth give! -*teleports behind you* The wose wooks faiw, but faiwew we it d-deem -Fow xDD that s-sweet odouw, which doth in it *leans over* wive: -The cankew b-bwooms have uWu fuww x3 as *blushes* deep *pokes you* a dye, -As the pewfumed t-tinctuwe of the woses, -Hang on such thowns, and pway as wantonwy, -When summew's bweath ^.^ theiw masked buds discwoses: -But fow *sweats* theiw viwtue o-onwy is theiw show, -They w-wive unwooed, and unwespected fade, -Die to *sweats* themsewves. Sweet woses do nyot so, -Of theiw sweet deaths, *hugs tightly* awe sweetest odouws *sweats* made: -A-And so of you, beauteous and wovewy y-youth, -When that s-shaww v-vade, by vewse distiwws y-youw t-twuth. - - -55 -Nyot m-mawbwe, *cuddles you* nyow the giwded monyuments -*cuddles you* Of pwinces shaww o-outwive this powewfuw w-whyme, -But you shaww shinye mowe bwight in these contents -*notices bulge* Than unswept stonye, b-besmeawed with swuttish t-time. -When wastefuw waw s-shaww statues ovewtuwn, -And bwoiws woot out the wowk of masonwy, -N-Nyow *sweats* Maws h-his swowd, nyow waw's quick fiwe shaww b-buwn: -T-The wiving wecowd of youw memowy. -'Gainst death, and aww-obwivious enmity -S-Shaww you xDD pace fowth, youw pwaise shaww stiww find woom, -Even in the :33 eyes of aww postewity -That weaw this w-wowwd out to the ending doom. -So *moans* tiww *cuddles you* the judgment that youw sewf awise, -You wive in this, and dweww in wovews' eyes. - - -56 -Sweet wove wenyew thy fowce, be it *teleports behind you* nyot ;;w;; said -Thy edge shouwd bwuntew be than appetite, -Which but to-day by feeding i-is awwayed, -To-mowwow shawpenyed in his fowmew might. -So *cries* wove be t-thou, awthough to-day t-thou f-fiww -Thy hungwy eyes, >_> even tiww they wink with fuwnyess, -To-mowwow see again, and do n-nyot kiww -The spiwit of w-wove, with a p-pewpetuaw duwnyess: -Wet this >_< sad intewim w-wike the UwU ocean be -Which pawts the showe, whewe two contwacted nyew, -Come :33 daiwy to t-the banks, t-that when *pokes you* they *notices bulge* see: -Wetuwn of wove, *looks at you* mowe bwest may be the v-view. -O-Ow caww ;;w;; it wintew, *hugs tightly* which b-being fuww of cawe, -Makes summew's wewcome, thwice mowe wished, *notices bulge* mowe wawe. - - -57 -Being y-youw swave what shouwd I do *sighs* but *leans over* tend, -U-Upon t-the houws, and times of youw d-desiwe? -I have nyo p-pwecious time at aww to *leans over* spend; -*sweats* Nyow sewvices *notices bulge* to *cuddles you* do tiww you wequiwe. -Nyow dawe *pokes you* I chide t-the w-wowwd-without-end houw, -Whiwst I (my s-soveweign) w-watch the cwock fow you, -Nyow think the b-bittewnyess of absence *hugs tightly* souw, -When *leans over* you have b-bid youw sewvant ^-^ once adieu. -*cuddles you* Nyow :3 dawe I question with my jeawous uWu thought, -Whewe you *screams* may be, ow youw affaiws :33 suppose, -But wike a sad swave stay and think of nyought -Save >_< whewe you awe, how happy you make those. -*looks at you* So twue a foow is wove, t-that *sweats* in youw wiww, -(Though you *sighs* do a-any t-thing) he thinks nyo iww. - - -58 -*looks away* That *leans over* god fowbid, that made *cries* me fiwst *twerks* youw swave, -I shouwd in thought contwow youw times of pweasuwe, -*cuddles you* Ow at y-youw hand th' account o-of h-houws to c-cwave, -:3 Being youw vassaw bound to s-stay youw *looks at you* weisuwe. -O wet me suffew (being at youw beck) -Th' impwisonyed absence of *cries* youw wibewty, -And patience tame to suffewance bide each *cuddles you* check, -Without accusing you of injuwy. -Be whewe you *cuddles you* wist, ^.^ youw chawtew >_> is so stwong, -That you youw sewf *sighs* may p-pwiviwage youw t-time -To what you wiww, to ^w^ you *cries* it doth b-bewong, -Youw sewf *notices bulge* to pawdon of s-sewf-doing cwime. -I am to wait, t-though waiting so *sighs* be heww, -Nyot bwame youw pweasuwe be it iww ow weww. - - -59 -If thewe be n-nyothing nyew, but that which is, -H-Hath *leans over* been befowe, >_> how awe ouw x3 bwains beguiwed, -Which *sweats* wabouwing fow invention beaw amis -The second buwthen of *looks away* a fowmew chiwd! -*sweats* O t-that wecowd couwd with >_< a backwawd wook, -Even of five hundwed c-couwses x3 of OwO the sun, -Show *blushes* me youw image in some antique book, -Since >_> mind at fiwst in chawactew was donye. -That I might see what the ^-^ owd wowwd couwd say, -*twerks* To t-this composed wondew of youw fwame, -Whethew we awe mended, ^.^ ow whethew bettew they, -Ow w-whethew w-wevowution be the same. -O suwe I am t-the wits of fowmew days, -To subjects wowse ;;w;; have given admiwing pwaise. - - -60 -Wike as the w-waves make t-towawds the pebbwed showe, -*notices bulge* So do ouw *looks at you* minyutes *looks away* hasten to t-theiw end, -Each changing pwace with that which goes b-befowe, -In sequent toiw a-aww fowwawds *leans over* do contend. -Nyativity once in the main of wight, -Cwawws OwO to matuwity, whewewith being >w< cwownyed, -Cwooked ecwipses 'gainst his gwowy fight, ->_< And Time that g-gave, doth ^-^ nyow his gift confound. -Time doth twansfix the f-fwouwish set on youth, -And d-dewves the pawawwews in b-beauty's *blushes* bwow, -Feeds on the wawities of *sighs* nyatuwe's twuth, -And nyothing stands but fow h-his scythe to x3 mow. -And yet to times in h-hope, my v-vewse s-shaww stand -*teleports behind you* Pwaising thy wowth, *teleports behind you* despite h-his cwuew hand. - - -*hugs tightly* 61 -Is it thy wiww, thy image shouwd keep o-open -My heavy eyewids to the weawy nyight? -Dost thou desiwe my *looks at you* swumbews s-shouwd be bwoken, -Whiwe shadows wike *cuddles you* to thee *teleports behind you* do mock my sight? -Is it *twerks* thy s-spiwit that xDD thou send'st fwom thee -So faw fwom home *pokes you* into my d-deeds to pwy, -To find out shames and idwe houws in me, ->w< The scope and tenyuwe *leans over* of thy jeawousy? -O *sweats* nyo, thy wove though m-much, is nyot so gweat, -^.^ It is my wove that keeps minye e-eye awake, -Minye own twue wove that doth my west d-defeat, -To pway t-the watchman e-evew fow t-thy sake. -Fow *hugs tightly* thee watch I, whiwst thou dost wake e-ewsewhewe, -Fwom me faw off, *screams* with *looks at you* othews aww too nyeaw. - - -62 -Sin of sewf-wove possesseth aww minye eye, -And aww m-my souw, and aww my evewy pawt; -And fow t-this sin thewe is nyo ;;w;; wemedy, -*cries* It :3 is so gwounded inwawd in my heawt. -Methinks *sweats* nyo face so gwacious *moans* is as m-minye, -Nyo shape so twue, *notices bulge* nyo twuth of such account, -And fow *teleports behind you* my *giggles shyly* sewf m-minye o-own w-wowth ^.^ do definye, -As ;;w;; I aww *sighs* othew in aww wowths suwmount. -But when :3 my *twerks* gwass shows me m-my sewf *hugs tightly* indeed -beated and chopt with tannyed antiquity, -Minye own s-sewf-wove q-quite ^.^ contwawy I wead: -Sewf, so sewf-woving wewe inyiquity. -'Tis thee (my ^-^ sewf) that *notices bulge* fow :3 my sewf I pwaise, -x3 Painting my a-age with beauty of thy d-days. - - -63 ->w< Against my wove shaww be a-as >_> I *notices bulge* am nyow -:33 With Time's injuwious hand cwushed and o-o'ewwown, -When houws h-have dwainyed his bwood and f-fiwwed h-his b-bwow -With winyes and wwinkwes, w-when his youthfuw mown -x3 Hath twavewwed *leans over* on to age's steepy nyight, -And aww those *teleports behind you* beauties wheweof nyow he's king -Awe vanyishing, ow vanyished out of sight, -Steawing away the t-tweasuwe of uWu his spwing: -Fow such a time do I nyow fowtify -Against confounding age's cwuew knyife, -T-That he shaww nyevew cut fwom memowy -My sweet wove's b-beauty, though m-my wovew's *shuffles closer* wife. -xDD His beauty shaww *giggles shyly* in these bwack winyes be seen, -And they shaww wive, and he in them s-stiww gween. - - -64 -When I have s-seen by *looks at you* Time's feww hand defaced -^.^ The xDD wich-pwoud cost of outwown xDD buwied age, -When sometime >w< wofty towews I *leans over* see down-wased, -A-And bwass etewnyaw swave to mowtaw wage. -When I-I h-have s-seen the uWu hungwy ocean *moans* gain -Advantage on the kingdom of the showe, -A-And the fiwm *pokes you* soiw win of the watewy main, -Incweasing stowe with woss, and woss with stowe. -When I have s-seen such intewchange of State, -Ow state i-it sewf confounded, to decay, -Wuin hath *looks at you* taught me thus to wuminyate -That Time wiww come and t-take my wove away. -T-This thought is as a death which cannyot choose -But x3 weep t-to have, that which it *hugs tightly* feaws to wose. - - -65 -Since bwass, nyow stonye, nyow eawth, nyow b-boundwess :33 sea, -But *twerks* sad >_< mowtawity o'ewsways theiw powew, -How with this wage s-shaww beauty *twerks* howd a pwea, -Whose action is ^-^ nyo stwongew than *looks away* a f-fwowew? -O-O how shaww summew's honyey bweath howd out, -Against t-the *notices bulge* wwackfuw siege *cuddles you* of b-batt'wing *giggles shyly* days, -When w-wocks impwegnyabwe awe nyot so stout, -Nyow gates of steew so stwong but *pokes you* time d-decays? -O *twerks* feawfuw meditation, whewe awack, -Shaww Time's x3 best jewew fwom *sweats* Time's chest wie h-hid? -Ow what :3 stwong hand can howd ^-^ his swift foot back, -Ow who his spoiw *pokes you* of beauty *sighs* can f-fowbid? -O nyonye, unwess t-this miwacwe have might, -T-That i-in b-bwack ink OwO my OwO wove m-may stiww shinye bwight. - - -66 -Tiwed with aww these fow westfuw death I cwy, -As to behowd desewt a b-beggaw bown, -And nyeedy nyothing twimmed i-in jowwity, -And puwest faith unhappiwy fowswown, -And giwded honyouw shamefuwwy *giggles shyly* mispwaced, -And maiden v-viwtue wudewy stwumpeted, -A-And wight ^-^ pewfection wwongfuwwy disgwaced, -And stwength by w-wimping s-sway disabwed -And awt made tongue-tied by authowity, -And *screams* fowwy *screams* (doctow-wike) *twerks* contwowwing skiww, -And simpwe twuth miscawwed simpwicity, -And captive good attending captain iww. -T-Tiwed w-with aww *moans* these, fwom these w-wouwd I be gonye, -Save that to die, I-I weave my wove awonye. - - -67 -Ah *twerks* whewefowe *cries* with infection shouwd h-he *twerks* wive, -And with his pwesence gwace impiety, -That sin by him advantage shouwd achieve, -And wace i-it *giggles shyly* sewf with h-his society? -Why s-shouwd fawse painting imitate his cheek, -And steaw dead s-seeming ^-^ of his wiving hue? -Why shouwd poow beauty i-indiwectwy *cries* seek, -Woses ;;w;; of shadow, since his wose is >_> twue? -Why shouwd h-he *hugs tightly* wive, :3 nyow nyatuwe b-bankwupt *giggles shyly* is, -Beggawed of bwood to bwush thwough wivewy veins, -Fow she hath nyo exchequew n-nyow but his, -And p-pwoud of *blushes* many, wives upon his g-gains? -O him s-she stowes, to xDD show w-what w-weawth she had, -*moans* In >w< days wong since, befowe these wast so bad. - - -68 -Thus is his cheek the map of x3 days outwown, -When beauty *moans* wived and died as fwowews do nyow, -B-Befowe t-these bastawd signs of faiw wewe *teleports behind you* bown, -Ow duwst i-inhabit *looks at you* on *pokes you* a w-wiving xDD bwow: -Befowe the gowden twesses of the dead, -The wight of sepuwchwes, wewe shown *leans over* away, -To wive ^-^ a s-second *moans* wife o-on :3 second h-head, -Ewe beauty's dead f-fweece *moans* made anyothew gay: -I-In him those uWu howy antique houws awe seen, -*cries* Without aww *sweats* ownyament, it sewf and *pokes you* twue, -M-Making nyo summew *pokes you* of anyothew's :33 gween, -Wobbing nyo owd to *shuffles closer* dwess his b-beauty nyew, -And him as >w< fow a map doth Nyatuwe s-stowe, -T-To show *shuffles closer* fawse *hugs tightly* Awt what beauty was *blushes* of yowe. - - -69 -xDD Those pawts of thee that the w-wowwd's eye doth view, -Want nyothing that *pokes you* the thought of h-heawts *notices bulge* can m-mend: -Aww tongues (the *notices bulge* voice of souws) give thee *cuddles you* that *hugs tightly* due, -Uttewing bawe OwO twuth, even so as foes *giggles shyly* commend. -T-Thy outwawd thus with outwawd pwaise is c-cwownyed, -But those same tongues t-that give thee so >w< thinye own, -In othew accents do this pwaise c-confound -By seeing fawthew t-than the eye hath shown. -They wook into the beauty o-of thy ;;w;; mind, -And ;;w;; that in g-guess they measuwe *screams* by thy deeds, -Then chuwws theiw thoughts (awthough theiw eyes wewe kind) -To thy faiw fwowew add ^w^ the wank smeww of w-weeds: -But why thy odouw m-matcheth n-nyot thy show, -The soiw is this, that thou dost common gwow. - - -*shuffles closer* 70 -That thou awt bwamed shaww nyot be thy defect, -Fow swandew's mawk was evew y-yet the faiw, -The ownyament :33 of *cries* beauty is suspect, ->_< A cwow that fwies OwO in heaven's sweetest *pokes you* aiw. -:3 So *sweats* thou be good, swandew *pokes you* doth but appwove, -Thy wowth the gweatew being wooed *teleports behind you* of time, -Fow cankew vice the s-sweetest buds doth wove, -And thou pwesent'st a puwe unstainyed pwime. -Thou hast passed by the ambush of young days, -Eithew nyot a-assaiwed, ow victow being chawged, -Y-Yet this thy pwaise cannyot be so t-thy pwaise, -*twerks* To tie up envy, evewmowe enwawged, -If s-some suspect of iww masked nyot *sighs* thy show, -Then thou awonye kingdoms of heawts shouwdst owe. - - -71 -Nyo wongew mouwn ^.^ fow :3 me when *sweats* I am ^w^ dead, -T-Than y-you shaww heaw the suwwy suwwen beww -Give wawnying to the wowwd that I am fwed -Fwom this viwe wowwd with viwest w-wowms to dweww: -Nyay if you wead this winye, ^.^ wemembew nyot, -The hand that w-wwit it, fow I w-wove you so, -That I in youw sweet thoughts wouwd b-be fowgot, -If thinking on me then shouwd make :33 you woe. -O-O if (I say) you wook upon *sighs* this vewse, -W-When I (pewhaps) compounded am w-with c-cway, -Do >_< nyot *looks away* so *blushes* much as my p-poow nyame weheawse; -B-But wet y-youw *blushes* wove even w-with my wife decay. -West the wise *looks at you* wowwd shouwd wook *sweats* into youw *cries* moan, -And mock you w-with m-me aftew I am gonye. - - -72 -O west the *hugs tightly* wowwd OwO shouwd task y-you >_< to w-wecite, -What mewit :33 wived in me that you shouwd wove -Aftew my death (deaw wove) fowget me ^-^ quite, -Fow you in me can nyothing >_< wowthy pwove. -Unwess you wouwd ^.^ devise some viwtuous wie, -To d-do m-mowe fow me t-than >_> minye own desewt, -And hang mowe *blushes* pwaise *moans* upon deceased I, -*pokes you* Than nyiggawd OwO twuth wouwd wiwwingwy impawt: -*shuffles closer* O *cuddles you* west youw t-twue wove may *sweats* seem fawse in *hugs tightly* this, -That you f-fow wove speak weww of me u-untwue, -My >_> nyame b-be buwied whewe my body is, -And wive nyo mowe to shame nyow m-me, nyow you. -Fow I am shamed b-by that w-which I *sighs* bwing fowth, -And so *giggles shyly* shouwd you, to wove things nyothing wowth. - - -73 -That time of yeaw thou mayst i-in me behowd, -When yewwow weaves, ow nyonye, ow few do h-hang -UwU Upon those boughs *leans over* which *looks away* shake against the *cries* cowd, -Bawe x3 wuinyed choiws, whewe wate the sweet biwds *blushes* sang. -In me thou seest the twiwight of such day, -As aftew sunset fadeth in the west, -W-Which by and *sweats* by bwack nyight doth take away, -Death's second sewf that seaws up aww in w-west. -In me t-thou seest t-the ^w^ gwowing of such fiwe, -That o-on *looks at you* the a-ashes of h-his youth doth wie, -As the death-bed, wheweon it must expiwe, -Consumed with that :3 which i-it was nyouwished >_< by. -This t-thou >_< pewceiv'st, which m-makes thy wove mowe s-stwong, -^.^ To wove that weww, which thou must w-weave ewe wong. - - -74 -But be contented when that feww awwest, -Without aww baiw shaww cawwy me a-away, -My wife hath i-in this winye some intewest, -Which fow memowiaw s-stiww with thee shaww stay. -When thou w-weviewest this, thou dost weview, -The *moans* vewy pawt was consecwate to thee, -The e-eawth *twerks* can have but eawth, *leans over* which is h-his due, -My *giggles shyly* spiwit *pokes you* is thinye the bettew pawt of me, -So *pokes you* then t-thou h-hast ^w^ but *giggles shyly* wost the dwegs of w-wife, -T-The pwey of wowms, my body being dead, -^.^ The cowawd conquest o-of a wwetch's knyife, -T-Too *leans over* base of thee to be wemembewed, -The wowth of that, is t-that which it c-contains, -And that is *sweats* this, :33 and ^.^ this with t-thee wemains. - - -75 -^.^ So awe you *looks at you* to my thoughts as food to wife, -O-Ow as sweet-seasonyed showews awe *giggles shyly* to the g-gwound; -And fow *notices bulge* the >w< peace of you I howd such s-stwife -As '-'twixt a m-misew and his *looks away* weawth is found. -Nyow pwoud as a-an enjoyew, and anyon -Doubting the fiwching ^w^ age wiww steaw his tweasuwe, -N-Nyow c-counting *giggles shyly* best to be with uWu you awonye, -x3 Then b-bettewed that the w-wowwd m-may see my uWu pweasuwe, -Sometime aww f-fuww with :33 feasting on youw sight, -And b-by and by cwean stawved fow a :33 wook, -Possessing ow puwsuing nyo dewight -Save what is had, ow must fwom you be took. -Thus do I pinye a-and s-suwfeit d-day by day, -Ow gwuttonying on aww, o-ow aww away. - - -76 -Why *blushes* is my vewse s-so bawwen of nyew pwide? -So faw fwom >_> vawiation ow q-quick change? -*leans over* Why x3 with t-the time do I nyot g-gwance aside -To nyew-found methods, and to compounds >w< stwange? -uWu Why *pokes you* wwite I stiww aww onye, evew the *shuffles closer* same, -And ^.^ keep invention i-in a nyoted weed, -That evewy wowd doth awmost t-teww m-my nyame, -Showing theiw *hugs tightly* biwth, and w-whewe they did pwoceed? -O k-knyow sweet w-wove I awways wwite of you, -And *moans* you and wove a-awe stiww my a-awgument: -So aww my best is d-dwessing *cuddles you* owd w-wowds nyew, -Spending *looks at you* again what *sweats* is a-awweady spent: -*sweats* Fow as the sun is daiwy nyew and owd, -So i-is ^-^ my wove stiww *leans over* tewwing what i-is towd. - - -7-77 -*moans* Thy uWu gwass w-wiww show thee how *cries* thy b-beauties weaw, -Thy diaw how thy *twerks* pwecious minyutes w-waste, -These vacant weaves *twerks* thy mind's impwint wiww :33 beaw, -And of this book, this weawnying mayst t-thou taste. -The wwinkwes which thy gwass wiww twuwy show, -Of mouthed gwaves wiww give thee memowy, -*sweats* Thou by thy diaw's :3 shady steawth mayst knyow, -Time's thievish pwogwess t-to etewnyity. -Wook what thy *sighs* memowy *shuffles closer* cannyot contain, -Commit to t-these >_> waste bwanks, and thou shawt find -T-Those chiwdwen ^.^ nyuwsed, UwU dewivewed fwom thy bwain, -To take a nyew acquaintance of thy mind. -These *looks at you* offices, so oft as thou wiwt *cries* wook, -Shaww pwofit thee, and much e-enwich thy book. - - -78 -So oft have I i-invoked thee fow my muse, -And uWu found s-such faiw assistance i-in my vewse, -*moans* As evewy awien *screams* pen hath got my u-use, ->_> And undew thee t-theiw p-poesy d-dispewse. -T-Thinye eyes, t-that taught the *screams* dumb on high t-to sing, -And h-heavy ignyowance a-awoft to fwy, -Have added feathews to ^-^ the weawnyed's w-wing, -And given gwace *blushes* a doubwe uWu majesty. -:33 Yet be most pwoud of that which I compiwe, -Whose ^w^ infwuence is thinye, x3 and bown of *cuddles you* thee, -In othews' wowks thou dost but mend ^w^ the stywe, -And awts with thy sweet gwaces gwaced b-be. -But thou *hugs tightly* awt aww my a-awt, and dost OwO advance ->_> As high >_< as weawnying, my wude ^w^ ignyowance. - - -79 -Whiwst I-I a-awonye did caww upon thy aid, -:3 My vewse awonye had aww thy gentwe gwace, -But n-nyow m-my gwacious *pokes you* nyumbews a-awe decayed, -And my sick muse doth give an othew pwace. -*looks away* I gwant (sweet uWu wove) t-thy wovewy ^.^ awgument -Desewves ;;w;; the twavaiw of a w-wowthiew pen, -Y-Yet what of thee thy poet doth OwO invent, -He wobs thee of, and pays it thee again, -H-He wends thee *sweats* viwtue, and he stowe that wowd, -Fwom thy behaviouw, b-beauty doth he give -And found it in t-thy cheek: he can >_< affowd -Nyo pwaise to t-thee, but what in thee uWu doth wive. -Then thank him nyot fow that uWu which :3 he doth say, -Since OwO what h-he owes *blushes* thee, t-thou thy sewf dost pay. - - -80 -O h-how I faint w-when *looks away* I of *twerks* you do wwite, -Knyowing a bettew spiwit doth use youw nyame, -And in the pwaise theweof spends aww his might, -To make me tongue-tied speaking of youw f-fame. -B-But *sweats* since youw w-wowth (-(wide *shuffles closer* as the ocean is) -T-The humbwe as the pwoudest saiw doth beaw, -My saucy bawk (infewiow faw to his) -On youw bwoad main *giggles shyly* doth wiwfuwwy appeaw. -Y-Youw shawwowest hewp wiww howd m-me up ^w^ afwoat, -Whiwst he upon youw soundwess deep doth wide, -*hugs tightly* Ow (being wwecked) I am a-a wowthwess b-boat, -He of taww buiwding, and of goodwy pwide. -Then if he t-thwive and I be cast away, -The wowst was this, my wove was my ^-^ decay. - - -8-81 ->_< Ow I s-shaww *sighs* wive y-youw epitaph ^w^ to *teleports behind you* make, -Ow *cuddles you* you suwvive when I-I in eawth am wotten, -Fwom hence youw memowy death *giggles shyly* cannyot take, -Awthough in me each pawt w-wiww be fowgotten. -Youw nyame fwom h-hence >_> immowtaw wife *shuffles closer* shaww have, -Though I (once gonye) to aww the wowwd must die, -The eawth >_< can yiewd me but a common gwave, -When you entombed in *giggles shyly* men's eyes s-shaww wie, -*sighs* Youw *looks at you* monyument shaww b-be my *looks at you* gentwe vewse, -Which eyes nyot yet cweated shaww o'ew-wead, -And tongues to be, youw being shaww *twerks* weheawse, -When aww the bweathews of this wowwd awe dead, -You stiww shaww *sighs* wive (-(such viwtue hath *looks away* my p-pen) -*giggles shyly* Whewe bweath m-most bweathes, even in the mouths of ^w^ men. - - -82 -I gwant thou wewt nyot mawwied to my muse, -And thewefowe mayst without attaint o'ewwook -T-The dedicated w-wowds ^w^ which wwitews use -Of theiw faiw subject, b-bwessing evewy book. -Thou awt as faiw in *cries* knyowwedge >_< as *leans over* in hue, -Finding thy wowth a wimit past my pwaise, -*cries* And thewefowe awt *sighs* enfowced to seek anyew, -S-Some fweshew >_> stamp of the time-bettewing days. -And do so wove, y-yet when t-they have devised, -What stwainyed touches whetowic can wend, -T-Thou twuwy faiw, wewt *cuddles you* twuwy sympathized, -I-In twue :33 pwain wowds, *hugs tightly* by :3 thy twue-tewwing fwiend. -And theiw gwoss *giggles shyly* painting m-might be bettew used, -Whewe cheeks nyeed bwood, in thee it is a-abused. - - -:33 83 -;;w;; I nyevew saw that you did *giggles shyly* painting nyeed, -And thewefowe to youw faiw nyo painting ;;w;; set, -I found (ow thought I found) you xDD did exceed, -That bawwen tendew of a poet's debt: -And thewefowe have >w< I swept in youw wepowt, -That you youw sewf being e-extant w-weww might show, -How faw a modewn UwU quiww doth come too showt, -Speaking of *pokes you* wowth, what wowth in *giggles shyly* you doth gwow. -This siwence uWu fow my sin you did impute, -*notices bulge* Which shaww b-be ^-^ most my >w< gwowy being dumb, -Fow I impaiw nyot beauty b-being mute, -When o-othews wouwd give wife, and bwing a tomb. -Thewe wives m-mowe wife in onye of youw faiw eyes, -T-Than both youw poets can in pwaise devise. - - -84 -*hugs tightly* Who *moans* is :3 it ^.^ that says m-most, which can say mowe, -^.^ Than this wich pwaise, that you awonye, awe you? -In whose confinye *notices bulge* immuwed ;;w;; is the stowe, -Which shouwd exampwe whewe youw equaw g-gwew. -;;w;; Wean p-penyuwy within that pen doth dweww, -That to his subject wends n-nyot some smaww gwowy, -B-But he that w-wwites of you, ^w^ if he can teww, -:33 That you awe >_> you, so *leans over* dignyifies his stowy. -Wet h-him but copy what in y-you is wwit, -Nyot making wowse what n-nyatuwe made so cweaw, -A-And s-such a-a countewpawt shaww f-fame his wit, -Making his stywe admiwed evewy w-whewe. -You to *sighs* youw >w< beauteous bwessings add a cuwse, -Being fond ;;w;; on p-pwaise, which makes youw pwaises w-wowse. - - -85 -My t-tongue-tied muse in mannyews howds hew s-stiww, -Whiwe comments uWu of y-youw p-pwaise w-wichwy compiwed, -Wesewve theiw c-chawactew with gowden quiww, -*twerks* And pwecious *looks at you* phwase by aww the M-Muses fiwed. -I think good thoughts, w-whiwst othew w-wwite good *twerks* wowds, -And w-wike unwettewed cwewk stiww cwy Amen, -To evewy hymn that abwe spiwit affowds, -In powished fowm o-of weww wefinyed >w< pen. -Heawing :3 you pwaised, xDD I say 'tis so, 'tis twue, -And to the most of xDD pwaise add s-something mowe, -But that is in my thought, whose *cries* wove to you -*giggles shyly* (Though wowds come hindmost) howds his wank befowe, -Then othews, fow the bweath of wowds wespect, -Me fow m-my dumb thoughts, speaking in effect. - - -86 -Was it the pwoud f-fuww :3 saiw *twerks* of his gweat vewse, -*notices bulge* Bound fow the *teleports behind you* pwize of (aww too pwecious) you, -That d-did *teleports behind you* my wipe t-thoughts in my bwain inheawse, -Making *moans* theiw tomb the w-womb whewein they gwew? -Was it his >_< spiwit, by spiwits taught *looks away* to wwite, -Above a mowtaw pitch, t-that *screams* stwuck m-me dead? -Nyo, nyeithew h-he, nyow his compeews by nyight -Giving h-him aid, my vewse *giggles shyly* astonyished. -He nyow that *looks away* affabwe famiwiaw g-ghost ->w< Which nyightwy guwws >w< him with intewwigence, ->w< As v-victows of m-my siwence *teleports behind you* cannyot b-boast, -I-I was nyot sick of any feaw *blushes* fwom thence. -B-But when youw c-countenyance fiwwed up his w-winye, -Then *looks away* wacked I mattew, that enfeebwed minye. - - -OwO 87 -Faweweww! thou awt too deaw f-fow my possessing, -And wike enyough t-thou k-knyow'st thy estimate, -The chawtew of thy wowth gives thee weweasing: -My bonds i-in thee a-awe aww detewminyate. -Fow how do I howd thee but by thy g-gwanting, -And f-fow t-that wiches ^w^ whewe is m-my desewving? -The cause of this faiw *moans* gift in me is wanting, -And so my patent back *looks away* again is swewving. -Thy sewf thou gav'st, ^w^ thy own >_> wowth then nyot knyowing, -Ow me to whom thou gav'st it, ewse mistaking, -So thy x3 gweat gift upon m-mispwision gwowing, -*shuffles closer* Comes home again, on b-bettew judgement m-making. -T-Thus have *cuddles you* I had thee as a dweam doth fwattew, -In sweep a king, but waking nyo such mattew. - - -8-88 -When thou shawt be disposed to set me wight, -And pwace my m-mewit in the e-eye o-of scown, -Upon *pokes you* thy side, against my sewf I'ww fight, -A-And pwove thee viwtuous, :33 though thou *twerks* awt fowswown: -With minye own weaknyess b-being best acquainted, -*cries* Upon thy pawt *notices bulge* I *screams* can s-set down a stowy -Of fauwts conceawed, whewein I am attainted: -That thou in wosing me, shawt win *giggles shyly* much >_> gwowy: -And I by UwU this w-wiww be a gainyew too, -Fow bending aww *teleports behind you* my *sweats* woving thoughts on thee, -T-The injuwies that to my *twerks* sewf I do, -Doing thee vantage, doubwe-vantage me. -Such is my w-wove, to thee I s-so bewong, -T-That fow thy *notices bulge* wight, m-my ^.^ sewf wiww *leans over* beaw aww wwong. - - -89 -Say that thou didst fowsake *screams* me fow some fauwt, -And I w-wiww comment upon that offence, -Speak of *screams* my wamenyess, and I stwaight wiww hawt: -Against thy weasons making nyo *sweats* defence. -Thou canst nyot (wove) disgwace me hawf so iww, -T-To set a f-fowm upon desiwed c-change, -As I'ww *notices bulge* my sewf disgwace, k-knyowing thy wiww, -I w-wiww acquaintance stwangwe and w-wook stwange: -Be absent fwom thy wawks and in my tongue, -T-Thy sweet bewoved nyame nyo ^w^ mowe shaww dweww, -West I (too *teleports behind you* much pwofanye) shouwd do it wwonk: -And hapwy of ouw *notices bulge* owd acquaintance teww. -Fow thee, :3 against my sewf I'ww vow *twerks* debate, -Fow I m-must nye'ew wove him whom thou dost hate. - - -90 -Then hate me when thou wiwt, if evew, nyow, -Nyow whiwe the wowwd is bent >_< my deeds to cwoss, -j-join with the *pokes you* spite of fowtunye, make me bow, -And do *pokes you* nyot dwop in fow an aftew-woss: -A-Ah d-do nyot, when my heawt h-hath '-'scaped this sowwow, -C-Come in the weawwawd of *twerks* a conquewed woe, -Give nyot *sighs* a windy nyight a *teleports behind you* wainy mowwow, -*moans* To wingew ^.^ out a p-puwposed o-ovewthwow. -*moans* If thou wiwt weave me, *cuddles you* do *sweats* nyot weave me wast, -When othew p-petty gwiefs have donye theiw spite, -But in the o-onset come, so shaww I *hugs tightly* taste -A-At fiwst the vewy wowst of fowtunye's *sighs* might. -And othew stwains of woe, which nyow seem *sweats* woe, -Compawed with woss *teleports behind you* of thee, wiww nyot seem so. - - -91 -Some *hugs tightly* gwowy in theiw biwth, some in theiw skiww, -Some in theiw weawth, some in theiw body's fowce, -Some in ;;w;; theiw gawments though nyew-fangwed iww: -Some i-in theiw hawks and hounds, some in theiw howse. -And evewy humouw h-hath his a-adjunct pweasuwe, -Whewein i-it finds a joy above the west, -But these pawticuwaws awe nyot my measuwe, -*blushes* Aww these I bettew in *twerks* onye genyewaw *twerks* best. -Thy wove is b-bettew than high biwth to me, -Wichew than weawth, pwoudew than gawments' costs, -Of mowe dewight than :33 hawks and *looks at you* howses be: -And having thee, of aww men's *screams* pwide I boast. -Wwetched in uWu this a-awonye, that thou mayst :3 take, -Aww t-this away, and me most wwetchcd make. - - -92 -B-But do thy wowst to steaw thy sewf away, -Fow tewm *looks at you* of wife thou awt assuwed minye, -A-And wife nyo w-wongew t-than thy wove wiww stay, -Fow it depends upon that wove of thinye. -Then nyeed I nyot to feaw the wowst o-of *sighs* wwongs, -W-When *blushes* in >_> the >w< weast o-of them my wife hath end, -I s-see, a bettew state OwO to me b-bewongs -Than >w< that, which on thy humouw doth depend. -Thou canst nyot vex me with inconstant m-mind, -Since that my wife on thy wevowt doth wie, -*notices bulge* O what a happy titwe d-do ;;w;; I find, -H-Happy to have t-thy wove, happy to die! -But what's so bwessed-faiw t-that feaws nyo bwot? -Thou mayst be fawse, and y-yet I knyow it *blushes* nyot. - - -93 -S-So shaww I *leans over* wive, supposing thou awt twue, -Wike a deceived h-husband, so wove's face, -uWu May stiww seem wove to me, though awtewed *leans over* nyew: -Thy *hugs tightly* wooks with m-me, :3 thy heawt in othew pwace. -Fow thewe can *sighs* wive n-nyo h-hatwed in thinye eye, -Thewefowe i-in that I cannyot knyow thy change, -In many's wooks, the fawse heawt's h-histowy -I-Is wwit in moods and fwowns and wwinkwes stwange. -But h-heaven in thy cweation did decwee, -That in t-thy face sweet wove shouwd evew dweww, -Whate'ew thy t-thoughts, ow thy heawt's wowkings be, -Thy wooks shouwd n-nyothing thence, but sweetnyess teww. -How wike Eve's appwe doth thy beauty gwow, -If thy sweet viwtue answew nyot thy s-show. - - -94 -They that have powew to huwt, and wiww do nyonye, -That do nyot d-do ^.^ the thing, they most do *giggles shyly* show, -Who m-moving ^-^ othews, awe themsewves as stonye, -Unmoved, cowd, and t-to temptation *blushes* swow: -They wightwy do inhewit heaven's *blushes* gwaces, -And husband *twerks* nyatuwe's wiches fwom expense, -Tibey a-awe the wowds and ownyews of theiw *notices bulge* faces, -Othews, but stewawds of theiw excewwence: -The summew's xDD fwowew *looks away* is to the summew sweet, -Though to it sewf, it onwy wive and die, -But if that fwowew with base infection meet, -The basest *teleports behind you* weed outbwaves his *pokes you* dignyity: -Fow sweetest things tuwn souwest by theiw d-deeds, -Wiwies that festew, smeww faw wowse >_> than weeds. - - -95 -H-How s-sweet and wovewy dost t-thou make the shame, -Which wike *screams* a cankew in the fwagwant wose, -Doth spot the beauty of thy uWu budding nyame! -O >_> in *cries* what sweets dost thou thy sins encwose! -That tongue that tewws the stowy of thy days, -(Making wascivious comments *moans* on thy spowt) -Cannyot dispwaise, *leans over* but in a kind of pwaise, -N-Nyaming thy nyame, b-bwesses an iww wepowt. -O what a mansion h-have those *pokes you* vices got, -Which fow theiw habitation chose out :3 thee, -Whewe beauty's veiw doth covew *shuffles closer* evewy b-bwot, -And *blushes* aww OwO things *screams* tuwns to faiw, t-that e-eyes can *looks at you* see! -Take heed (-(deaw heawt) of this wawge pwiviwege, -The hawdest knyife iww-used doth wose his edge. - - -96 -Some *giggles shyly* say thy fauwt is youth, some wantonnyess, -Some say thy gwace is youth and gentwe spowt, -Both gwace *shuffles closer* and fauwts awe *screams* woved of *shuffles closer* mowe and wess: -Thou mak'st fauwts gwaces, that to thee ^w^ wesowt: -As *twerks* on the fingew of a-a thwonyed queen, -The xDD basest jewew UwU wiww be weww esteemed: -So awe those ewwows that in thee a-awe seen, -To twuths twanswated, and fow *sighs* twue things deemed. -H-How many wambs might the ^w^ stewn wowf betway, -If wike a w-wamb he couwd his wooks twanswate! -How many gazews mightst thou wead away, -if thou wouwdst use the stwength of aww thy state! -But do nyot so, I wove thee in such sowt, -As thou *blushes* being minye, minye is *sweats* thy xDD good wepowt. - - -97 -How wike a wintew hath my absence been -Fwom thee, t-the pweasuwe of the *cries* fweeting ;;w;; yeaw! -What fweezings have I fewt, what dawk days seen! -*notices bulge* What o-owd D-Decembew's bawenyess evewywhewe! -And yet this time wemoved w-was summew's *sweats* time, ->_> The teeming *pokes you* autumn big w-with wich *moans* incwease, -Beawing the wanton buwden of t-the p-pwime, -Wike *giggles shyly* widowed wombs aftew theiw wowds' d-decease: -Yet this abundant issue s-seemed to me -But hope of owphans, and unfathewed fwuit, -UwU Fow summew and his pweasuwes wait on thee, -And thou ^-^ away, the :3 vewy b-biwds a-awe mute. -Ow *pokes you* if they sing, 'tis *twerks* with so duww a cheew, -That weaves wook *sweats* pawe, *giggles shyly* dweading the wintew's nyeaw. - - -98 -:3 Fwom you have I *cuddles you* been >w< absent in the spwing, -When pwoud-pied Apwiw (dwessed i-in aww *blushes* his t-twim) -Hath put a spiwit of youth in e-evewy >w< thing: -That heavy Satuwn waughed and w-weaped with ;;w;; him. -Yet UwU nyow the ways of biwds, *twerks* nyow the *pokes you* sweet smeww -Of diffewent f-fwowews in odouw a-and in hue, -*twerks* Couwd make :33 me any summew's stowy teww: -Ow fwom t-theiw pwoud wap pwuck them whewe they gwew: -Nyow d-did I w-wondew a-at t-the wiwy's white, -Nyow pwaise the d-deep vewmiwion in the w-wose, -They w-wewe but sweet, but figuwes of :3 dewight: -*cries* Dwawn *teleports behind you* aftew you, you uWu pattewn of aww those. -Y-Yet s-seemed it wintew stiww, and *screams* you away, -As with youw shadow uWu I with these d-did pway. - - -*moans* 99 -The fowwawd viowet *blushes* thus did I chide, -Sweet thief, whence :33 didst thou xDD steaw thy sweet that smewws, -*looks at you* If nyot f-fwom my *sighs* wove's bweath? The puwpwe pwide -Which on thy soft check fow compwexion *giggles shyly* dwewws, -In my w-wove's veins *blushes* thou hast t-too *sighs* gwosswy dyed. -The wiwy I >w< condemnyed fow thy hand, -And buds of mawjowam :3 had s-stow'n thy *leans over* haiw, -The >_> woses feawfuwwy on t-thowns did stand, -Onye bwushing s-shame, anyothew white despaiw: -A thiwd nyow wed, nyow white, had stow'n of >w< both, -And to his wobbewy *notices bulge* had annyexed thy bweath, -But fow his theft in pwide of aww his gwowth -A-A vengefuw :33 cankew eat him up to *blushes* death. -Mowe xDD fwowews I-I nyoted, yet I n-nyonye couwd see, -B-But s-sweet, ow c-cowouw UwU it *looks away* had stow'n >_< fwom thee. - - -100 -*cries* Whewe a-awt thou M-Muse *screams* that thou fowget'st so w-wong, -To s-speak of that ^.^ which gives thee aww thy might? -Spend'st thou thy fuwy on some wowthwess song, -Dawkenying thy powew to wend base subjects wight? -Wetuwn *cuddles you* fowgetfuw M-Muse, and stwaight w-wedeem, -In gentwe nyumbews time >_< so >_> idwy spent, -Sing to the eaw that d-doth thy ways esteem, -And gives thy pen b-both skiww and awgument. -Wise westy Muse, my wove's sweet f-face suwvey, -*moans* If t-time have any wwinkwe gwaven thewe, -I-If any, be a-a satiwe to *twerks* decay, -And make time's spoiws despised evewywhewe. -Give my wove fame fastew than T-Time wastes wife, -So ^w^ thou pwevent'st his scythe, ^w^ and cwooked knyife. - - -101 -*looks at you* O twuant Muse what shaww be thy amends, -Fow thy *hugs tightly* nyegwect of twuth in *cries* beauty OwO dyed? -Both twuth and beauty on my wove ;;w;; depends: -So dost thou too, and *giggles shyly* thewein d-dignyified: -Make answew Muse, wiwt thou *twerks* nyot h-hapwy say, -'Twuth nyeeds nyo *moans* cowouw with his cowouw *hugs tightly* fixed, -Beauty *cries* nyo penciw, beauty's twuth *looks at you* to way: -But best is b-best, if *looks away* nyevew i-intewmixed'? -Because *hugs tightly* he nyeeds OwO nyo pwaise, wiwt thou *sweats* be dumb? -Excuse nyot siwence *cuddles you* so, fow't wies in thee, -To make him much outwive a g-giwded >_> tomb: -*sighs* And to be pwaised of ages yet to be. -Then do t-thy o-office M-Muse, I teach thee h-how, -*twerks* To make him seem ^-^ wong hence, as *cuddles you* he shows nyow. - - -102 -My xDD wove is stwengthenyed though mowe w-weak in seeming, -*moans* I wove nyot wess, though wess the *leans over* show a-appeaw, -*blushes* That wove is mewchandized, whose wich esteeming, -The ownyew's tongue doth pubwish evewy whewe. -Ouw wove *screams* was nyew, and then but i-in the s-spwing, -When I was wont to gweet it *giggles shyly* with my ways, -As Phiwomew in summew's fwont d-doth sing, -And uWu stops hew *teleports behind you* pipe in gwowth of wipew days: ->w< Nyot *twerks* that the *sighs* summew is wess pweasant nyow -Than when hew mouwnfuw *moans* hymns *notices bulge* did hush t-the nyight, -But that wiwd music buwthens evewy bough, -And sweets gwown common wose theiw deaw dewight. -Thewefowe wike hew, I s-sometime howd my *sighs* tongue: -Because I wouwd uWu nyot >_> duww you with my song. - - -103 -Awack what >_< povewty my muse *cuddles you* bwings fowth, -That having such a xDD scope to *notices bulge* show hew pwide, -The awgument *moans* aww bawe is *giggles shyly* of mowe w-wowth -Than when it hath my added pwaise beside. -O b-bwame me *teleports behind you* nyot if *twerks* I nyo mowe can wwite! -Wook in youw gwass and uWu thewe *giggles shyly* appeaws a face, -That ovew-goes my bwunt invention q-quite, -Duwwing my winyes, and d-doing me ^w^ disgwace. -OwO Wewe it nyot sinfuw :3 then stwiving to *screams* mend, -To >_< maw t-the subject that befowe was weww? -Fow to nyo othew pass *blushes* my vewses tend, -Than of youw :33 gwaces and youw gifts to teww. -And m-mowe, m-much mowe x3 than in my v-vewse can sit, -Youw own gwass shows you, when you wook in it. - - -104 -To me f-faiw fwiend you ;;w;; nyevew can be owd, -Fow as y-you wewe when fiwst ;;w;; youw eye I eyed, -Such *sweats* seems youw beauty stiww: thwee wintews cowd, -^.^ Have fwom *twerks* the *teleports behind you* fowests shook thwee *screams* summews' pwide, -Thwee beauteous spwings to yewwow autumn tuwnyed, -In pwocess of the seasons have I *sighs* seen, -T-Thwee Apwiw p-pewfumes in thwee hot Junyes >w< buwnyed, -S-Since fiwst I saw you *pokes you* fwesh which yet a-awe xDD gween. -Ah y-yet doth beauty w-wike a diaw *pokes you* hand, -Steaw fwom his f-figuwe, and *notices bulge* nyo pace pewceived, -So youw sweet hue, which methinks stiww doth stand -Hath motion, and minye eye may be deceived. -Fow feaw of which, h-heaw this thou a-age unbwed, -*teleports behind you* Ewe you wewe bown was beauty's summew ^w^ dead. - - -*cries* 105 -Wet *cries* nyot my wove be cawwed *shuffles closer* idowatwy, -Nyow my *cuddles you* bewoved as an idow show, -S-Since aww awike my songs a-and pwaises be -T-To o-onye, of onye, stiww such, and evew so. -Kind is my wove to-day, to-mowwow kind, -Stiww constant *pokes you* in a wondwous excewwence, -Thewefowe my vewse to constancy confinyed, -Onye t-thing expwessing, w-weaves *giggles shyly* out diffewence. -Faiw, k-kind, a-and t-twue, is a-aww my awgument, -Faiw, kind, *looks at you* and t-twue, vawying t-to othew wowds, -And i-in this change is my i-invention spent, -*teleports behind you* Thwee themes in onye, which wondwous scope a-affowds. -Faiw, kind, and twue, have o-often wived awonye. -Which thwee tiww *teleports behind you* nyow, nyevew kept seat in *looks at you* onye. - - -106 -*cries* When in *blushes* the chwonyicwe o-of wasted time, -I see descwiptions o-of the faiwest wights, -And b-beauty making beautifuw owd whyme, -In pwaise of wadies dead, *shuffles closer* and wovewy ;;w;; knyights, -Then in the bwazon of sweet beauty's best, -Of hand, of foot, o-of wip, of eye, o-of *sighs* bwow, -I see theiw antique pen wouwd have expwessed, -Even s-such a b-beauty as you *sweats* mastew nyow. -*giggles shyly* So aww >_> theiw p-pwaises awe but pwophecies -Of this ouw t-time, ^-^ aww you p-pwefiguwing, -A-And x3 fow they wooked but with x3 divinying eyes, -They had *giggles shyly* nyot skiww enyough youw wowth to sing: -Fow we which nyow b-behowd *pokes you* these :3 pwesent days, -H-Have eyes to wondew, but wack tongues to pwaise. - - -1-107 -Nyot minye o-own feaws, nyow the *looks at you* pwophetic *cuddles you* souw, -Of the wide ;;w;; wowwd, dweaming on things to come, -Can yet >w< the wease of *cries* my *leans over* twue wove contwow, -xDD Supposed *looks at you* as :33 fowfeit to a confinyed doom. -The mowtaw moon hath hew ecwipse enduwed, -A-And the sad auguws mock theiw own p-pwesage, -Incewtainties *looks away* nyow cwown themsewves assuwed, -A-And *looks away* peace pwocwaims owives of endwess a-age. -Nyow with the dwops of this most bawmy time, -^w^ My wove :3 wooks fwesh, and death to m-me subscwibes, -S-Since spite of him I'ww ;;w;; wive in this p-poow whyme, -Whiwe he i-insuwts o'ew duww and speechwess twibes. -And thou in this shawt find thy monyument, -When tywants' ^-^ cwests and tombs of bwass *pokes you* awe xDD spent. - - -108 -W-What's in the bwain that ink *teleports behind you* may chawactew, -Which hath nyot figuwed to thee my twue spiwit, -What's nyew to speak, what nyow to wegistew, -That may expwess my wove, *hugs tightly* ow thy deaw mewit? -Nyothing sweet boy, but yet *cries* wike pwayews divinye, -I m-must e-each day say o'ew *cries* the vewy *notices bulge* same, -*sweats* Counting nyo owd thing o-owd, :33 thou minye, I thinye, -Even as when fiwst I hawwowed t-thy faiw n-nyame. -So that etewnyaw wove i-in wove's fwesh case, -W-Weighs ^w^ nyot the dust and injuwy of age, -*screams* Nyow gives to nyecessawy :3 wwinkwes pwace, -But makes antiquity fow aye his page, -Finding the fiwst conceit of wove thewe b-bwed, -Whewe time and o-outwawd f-fowm wouwd show i-it dead. - - -109 -O nyevew *giggles shyly* say t-that I was f-fawse of ;;w;; heawt, -Though absence s-seemed my fwame to *looks at you* quawify, -As easy might I fwom my UwU sewf d-depawt, -As f-fwom my souw which in thy bweast *looks away* doth wie: -That is my home o-of wove, if I ;;w;; have wanged, -Wike him that twavews I wetuwn again, -Just to the time, nyot with the time exchanged, -So that m-my sewf bwing watew fow my stain, -Nyevew bewieve though in m-my *teleports behind you* nyatuwe *notices bulge* weignyed, -Aww fwaiwties that besiege aww kinds of bwood, -That *looks at you* it couwd so pwepostewouswy be ;;w;; stainyed, -To weave fow nyothing *cries* aww thy sum *shuffles closer* of good: -Fow nyothing this *twerks* wide unyivewse I >_> caww, -Save thou my w-wose, in it thou awt my aww. - - -;;w;; 110 -Awas 'tis twue, I have ;;w;; gonye hewe and thewe, -And made my UwU sewf >_< a motwey to t-the view, -Gowed *giggles shyly* minye o-own t-thoughts, sowd cheap what *hugs tightly* is most d-deaw, -Made owd o-offences of affections nyew. -Most t-twue it is, that *twerks* I have wooked on twuth -Askance and s-stwangewy: but by aww above, -*sweats* These bwenches gave *looks at you* my heawt anyothew ;;w;; youth, -*shuffles closer* And *looks at you* wowse essays pwoved t-thee my b-best *sweats* of wove. -Nyow a-aww is donye, have what shaww >w< have *giggles shyly* nyo end, -Minye *sighs* appetite *notices bulge* I nyevew m-mowe wiww gwind -On nyewew >_> pwoof, >_< to *twerks* twy a-an owdew fwiend, -A-A god in x3 wove, to whom I am confinyed. -Then give me wewcome, nyext >_> my heaven the best, -E-Even to thy puwe and *moans* most most woving b-bweast. - - -1-111 -O fow my sake ^.^ do you with Fowtunye chide, -The g-guiwty goddess of my hawmfuw deeds, -That *giggles shyly* did OwO nyot b-bettew fow my wife *leans over* pwovide, -*screams* Than p-pubwic >_< means which pubwic mannyews bweeds. -Thence comes it that my n-nyame weceives a bwand, -And a-awmost t-thence my nyatuwe is subdued -:33 To what it wowks in, UwU wike the dyew's hand: -Pity me then, and w-wish *cuddles you* I wewe *sweats* wenyewed, -Whiwst wike a wiwwing p-patient I wiww dwink, -Potions *looks away* of ^.^ eisew 'gainst my *notices bulge* stwong infection, -^-^ Nyo bittewnyess that I wiww bittew think, -*leans over* Nyow doubwe p-penyance to cowwect cowwection. -Pity me *looks away* then deaw *cries* fwiend, and I assuwe y-ye, -Even that youw pity i-is enyough to cuwe me. - - -112 -Youw w-wove and *cries* pity doth th' *moans* impwession fiww, -Which vuwgaw scandaw stamped u-upon my bwow, -Fow what cawe I >w< who *sweats* cawws me :33 weww ow iww, -S-So you o'ew-gween my bad, my good *looks away* awwow? -You x3 awe my aww the wowwd, and I m-must stwive, -;;w;; To *cries* knyow my shames and pwaises fwom x3 youw tongue, -Nyonye xDD ewse to me, nyow I to nyonye awive, -That m-my steewed sense ow changes ^w^ wight ow *moans* wwong. -In so *hugs tightly* pwofound abysm *cuddles you* I thwow a-aww *cries* cawe -Of othews' voices, uWu that my *pokes you* addew's sense, -To xDD cwitic and t-to fwattewew stopped awe: -Mawk h-how w-with my nyegwect I do dispense. -^-^ You awe so stwongwy i-in ^w^ my puwpose bwed, -That aww the wowwd *sighs* besides methinks awe dead. - - -113 -Since I-I weft you, minye eye i-is in :3 my mind, -And *blushes* that which govewns >_< me to go about, -Doth pawt his function, and is pawtwy bwind, -Seems seeing, but >w< effectuawwy is out: -Fow it nyo fowm dewivews t-to uWu the :3 heawt -Of biwd, of f-fwowew, *sighs* ow shape which i-it doth watch, -Of his quick objects hath the *notices bulge* mind nyo pawt, -Nyow his o-own vision howds what *leans over* it doth catch: -Fow if it see the ^w^ wud'st *twerks* ow >_< gentwest sight, -^w^ The most sweet favouw ow defowmed'st c-cweatuwe, -The mountain, ow *screams* the sea, t-the day, ow nyight: -The cwow, ow dove, it shapes them to youw OwO featuwe. -I-Incapabwe of *notices bulge* mowe, wepwete with you, -My *giggles shyly* most twue mind thus m-maketh minye untwue. - - -114 -Ow whethew doth my mind xDD being cwownyed with you -Dwink up the monyawch's pwague :3 this fwattewy? -Ow *notices bulge* whethew shaww I say minye eye saith twue, -And t-that youw w-wove taught it this a-awchemy? -To make o-of monstews, and things indigest, -Such chewubins a-as youw sweet sewf wesembwe, -Cweating evewy bad a ^.^ pewfect best -As fast as uWu objects to his beams assembwe: -O 'tis the fiwst, 'tis f-fwattewy in my seeing, -And m-my gweat mind most kingwy dwinks it up, -Minye eye weww knyows what uWu with his g-gust is 'gweeing, -And ^-^ to his pawate doth pwepawe the cup. -If it be poisonyed, 'tis the wessew s-sin, -That minye eye woves it and doth fiwst b-begin. - - -115 -Those ^w^ winyes that *shuffles closer* I befowe have wwit do wie, -*moans* Even those that said I couwd nyot wove ;;w;; you *looks at you* deawew, -Y-Yet then my j-judgment knyew nyo weason why, -x3 My most f-fuww fwame shouwd a-aftewwawds OwO buwn cweawew, -But weckonying time, UwU whose miwwionyed a-accidents -*screams* Cweep i-in 'twixt :3 vows, and change decwees of kings, -Tan s-sacwed beauty, bwunt the *cuddles you* shawp'st i-intents, -Divewt stwong *teleports behind you* minds to *looks at you* the couwse of :3 awt'wing things: -Awas why *cuddles you* feawing o-of time's ^-^ tywanny, -Might I-I nyot then say 'Nyow I wove you best,' -When I was cewtain o'ew *blushes* incewtainty, -Cwownying the pwesent, *pokes you* doubting of the west? -Wove is a babe, t-then might *moans* I nyot say so -To *notices bulge* give fuww gwowth to that which stiww d-doth *leans over* gwow. - - -xDD 116 -Wet >_< me nyot to the mawwiage of twue minds -A-Admit impediments, wove is n-nyot *looks at you* wove -Which *blushes* awtews *cries* when it awtewation finds, -*cries* Ow b-bends with the ^.^ wemovew to wemove. -O nyo, i-it is an evew-fixed mawk -That wooks *pokes you* on tempests and is nyevew shaken; -It is x3 the x3 staw *looks at you* to evewy wand'wing bawk, -Whose wowth's unknyown, awthough his h-height b-be taken. -Wove's nyot Time's f-foow, though wosy wips and cheeks -Within his bending sickwe's *notices bulge* compass c-come, -Wove awtews nyot with his b-bwief houws and weeks, -But beaws it out e-even to the *screams* edge *hugs tightly* of doom: -If this be ewwow and upon *teleports behind you* me pwoved, -I-I n-nyevew wwit, n-nyow nyo *twerks* man evew woved. - - -117 -Accuse me thus, that I have scanted aww, -Whewein I-I shouwd youw *screams* gweat desewts wepay, -Fowgot upon youw deawest wove to c-caww, -Wheweto aww bonds do tie *teleports behind you* me day by day, -That I OwO have fwequent b-been with unknyown minds, -And given to time *pokes you* youw own *moans* deaw-puwchased wight, -x3 That I *notices bulge* have hoisted saiw *giggles shyly* to aww the winds -Which *notices bulge* shouwd twanspowt me fawthest fwom youw ;;w;; sight. -Book b-both my wiwfuwnyess *moans* and ewwows down, -And on just x3 pwoof suwmise, *sighs* accumuwate, -Bwing me within *shuffles closer* the wevew of youw fwown, -But shoot nyot a-at me in youw wakenyed hate: -Since my appeaw *giggles shyly* says I did s-stwive to p-pwove -The constancy and viwtue of youw wove. - - -118 -Wike as *pokes you* to make ouw appetite mowe k-keen -With ^.^ eagew compounds w-we ouw pawate >_< uwge, -As to pwevent o-ouw m-mawadies unseen, -*teleports behind you* We :33 sicken to shun sicknyess when we puwge. -Even so being fuww of youw nye'ew-cwoying sweetnyess, -T-To bittew sauces did I *cries* fwame my OwO feeding; -And sick of *cries* wewfawe found a kind of meetnyess, -x3 To be diseased ewe that thewe was twue nyeeding. -Thus *hugs tightly* powicy >_> in wove t' anticipate -T-The iwws that wewe nyot, gwew to fauwts assuwed, ->w< And *sighs* bwought to medicinye a heawthfuw state -Which ^.^ wank of goodnyess wouwd by iww UwU be cuwed. -*screams* But thence I-I weawn and find the wesson twue, -*notices bulge* Dwugs p-poison him that so *screams* feiw sick uWu of *cries* you. - - -*sighs* 119 -What potions have I uWu dwunk *moans* of S-Siwen teaws -Distiwwed fwom wimbecks fouw as heww within, -Appwying feaws *blushes* to hopes, and h-hopes to *moans* feaws, -S-Stiww wosing when I saw my sewf to win! -What wwetched *twerks* ewwows hath my heawt committed, -W-Whiwst i-it hath *cries* thought *cries* it sewf so bwessed nyevew! -How have minye eyes out of theiw sphewes been fitted -In the uWu distwaction o-of this madding fevew! -O benyefit of iww, nyow I find UwU twue -That bettew *looks at you* is, b-by UwU eviw s-stiww *teleports behind you* made bettew. -And w-wuinyed wove w-when it is buiwt anyew -Gwows faiwew than at >_< fiwst, mowe stwong, faw gweatew. -So I-I wetuwn webuked to my content, -And gain by iwws thwice mowe *pokes you* than I *pokes you* have spent. - - -120 ->w< That you w-wewe once unkind befwiends m-me nyow, -And fow that sowwow, which I t-then did feew, ->w< Nyeeds must I undew xDD my twansgwession b-bow, -*cries* Unwess my nyewves wewe uWu bwass ow hammewed steew. -Fow if you wewe by my unkindnyess shaken -*teleports behind you* As I by >_< youws, y'have passed a-a heww of time, -And *moans* I a tywant *leans over* have nyo weisuwe taken -To *sighs* weigh h-how once I suffewed in youw cwime. -O that *blushes* ouw nyight of woe might have wemembewed -My deepest *hugs tightly* sense, how hawd twue sowwow hits, -And ^-^ soon to you, as you to *notices bulge* me then tendewed -The h-humbwe xDD sawve, which wounded bosoms fits! -But that youw t-twespass nyow becomes a >_> fee, -Minye wansoms youws, and youws must wansom me. - - -*sweats* 121 -'Tis *twerks* bettew to *looks at you* be *moans* viwe than viwe esteemed, -When nyot to be, weceives wepwoach of being, -uWu And *twerks* the just pweasuwe *looks at you* wost, which is s-so deemed, -Nyot by *moans* ouw feewing, but by othews' x3 seeing. -Fow why *shuffles closer* shouwd othews' fawse aduwtewate eyes -Give sawutation t-to x3 my spowtive bwood? -O-Ow on my :33 fwaiwties why awe fwaiwew spies, -W-Which in theiw w-wiwws count bad w-what I think good? -Nyo, I ;;w;; am that I a-am, and >_> they that wevew -At my abuses, w-weckon up theiw own, -I m-may be stwaight t-though they themsewves be bevew; -By theiw wank thoughts, my deeds must :3 nyot be shown -Unwess this genyewaw eviw t-they maintain, -Aww men awe bad a-and in theiw badnyess w-weign. - - -122 -Thy gift, thy tabwes, a-awe within my bwain -Fuww chawactewed with wasting memowy, -Which *leans over* shaww above that idwe *hugs tightly* wank wemain -Beyond aww date *screams* even :3 to etewnyity. -Ow at the weast, ^-^ so wong *sighs* as bwain and heawt -Have *looks at you* facuwty by nyatuwe to subsist, -Tiww each t-to wazed obwivion yiewd *giggles shyly* his pawt -Of >_> thee, thy wecowd nyevew can b-be missed: -That poow w-wetention couwd nyot so much howd, -*shuffles closer* Nyow nyeed I tawwies thy deaw wove to scowe, -Thewefowe to give x3 them fwom me was I bowd, -To t-twust t-those tabwes that w-weceive thee mowe: -To keep an adjunct to wemembew *sighs* thee -Wewe to impowt fowgetfuwnyess in me. - - -123 -N-Nyo! Time, thou shawt n-nyot boast that I do change, -Thy pywamids b-buiwt up with n-nyewew might -To me awe *cuddles you* nyothing nyovew, nyothing stwange, -They awe :33 but dwessings *sighs* Of a-a fowmew sight: -Ouw dates awe bwief, and thewefowe we admiwe, -What thou dost foist upon us x3 that is owd, -And wathew make them bown to ouw desiwe, -Than t-think that we x3 befowe have heawd them >_> towd: -Thy wegistews and t-thee I both defy, -Nyot wond'wing at the pwesent, nyow the *pokes you* past, -Fow *sighs* thy wecowds, and what we see doth w-wie, -M-Made mowe ow wess by thy *hugs tightly* continyuaw haste: -This I do vow and this shaww e-evew be, -I w-wiww *sighs* be twue despite thy scythe and thee. - - -124 -If m-my deaw w-wove wewe but the c-chiwd *cries* of state, -It might fow Fowtunye's bastawd b-be unfathewed, -As subject to time's wove ow to time's h-hate, -Weeds a-among weeds, ow fwowews w-with fwowews gathewed. -Nyo i-it was buiwded *pokes you* faw fwom accident, -I-It suffews OwO nyot in smiwing pomp, *shuffles closer* nyow fawws -Undew the bwow of t-thwawwed discontent, -Wheweto :3 th' inviting time ouw f-fashion cawws: -It feaws nyot powicy t-that hewetic, -Which wowks on weases of *looks away* showt-nyumbewed houws, -But aww awonye OwO stands *pokes you* hugewy *screams* powitic, -*hugs tightly* That it *cuddles you* nyow gwows with UwU heat, nyow dwowns with showews. -To this I witnyess :3 caww the *moans* foows of time, -Which die *giggles shyly* fow g-goodnyess, *twerks* who have wived fow cwime. - - -125 -Wewe't aught to me I bowe the *sighs* canyopy, -*teleports behind you* With my extewn the outwawd honyouwing, -Ow waid gweat bases fow e-etewnyity, -W-Which pwoves mowe showt than waste ow wuinying? -Have I nyot seen dwewwews on *leans over* fowm and favouw -Wose aww, and mowe by paying too much *twerks* went -Fow compound *cries* sweet; fowgoing simpwe savouw, -Pitifuw *twerks* thwivews in theiw gazing spent? -N-Nyo, wet me be o-obsequious in thy heawt, -And uWu take t-thou my obwation, poow but fwee, -Which is nyot mixed with seconds, knyows nyo awt, -But mutuaw wendew, onwy me fow thee. -Hence, thou s-subownyed infowmew, a-a t-twue souw -W-When most impeached, stands weast in thy contwow. - - -126 -^w^ O thou *pokes you* my *notices bulge* wovewy boy who in thy powew, -Dost howd *pokes you* Time's fickwe gwass his fickwe houw: -Who hast by wanying gwown, *twerks* and *teleports behind you* thewein show'st, -Thy UwU wovews withewing, as thy sweet *sweats* sewf gwow'st. -If Nyatuwe (soveweign mistwess *cuddles you* ovew wwack) -As thou goest o-onwawds stiww wiww *leans over* pwuck >w< thee b-back, -S-She keeps thee to *hugs tightly* this puwpose, that hew skiww -May *notices bulge* time disgwace, and wwetched m-minyutes kiww. -Yet feaw hew O thou minyion of hew pweasuwe, -She m-may detain, *leans over* but nyot stiww keep hew tweasuwe! -uWu Hew audit (though ^w^ dewayed) answewed *giggles shyly* must be, -And hew quietus is to wendew thee. - - -127 -In the o-owd age bwack was nyot counted faiw, -*notices bulge* Ow if it wewe it bowe nyot ^w^ beauty's *teleports behind you* nyame: -*cuddles you* But nyow i-is >_< bwack beauty's successive heiw, -xDD And beauty swandewed with ;;w;; a bastawd shame, -Fow since each hand hath put on n-nyatuwe's powew, -Faiwing the fouw with awt's fawse b-bowwowed face, -Sweet beauty hath nyo nyame nyo howy bowew, -But is pwofanyed, if nyot wives in disgwace. -Thewefowe my mistwess' eyes awe waven *sighs* bwack, -Hew eyes so suited, and they ^w^ mouwnyews seem, -At such who nyot b-bown faiw n-nyo *notices bulge* beauty ^w^ wack, -Swandewing cweation *giggles shyly* with a f-fawse esteem, -Yet so they mouwn becoming of t-theiw woe, -That evewy tongue says *blushes* beauty shouwd wook s-so. - - -128 -How *looks at you* oft when thou, my music, m-music pway'st, -Upon that bwessed w-wood *sweats* whose motion sounds -With t-thy sweet f-fingews when t-thou gentwy sway'st -The wiwy *looks away* concowd that minye eaw confounds, -Do I envy those jacks that nyimbwe weap, -To k-kiss the tendew inwawd of thy hand, -Whiwst m-my *blushes* poow wips which shouwd ^w^ that hawvest weap, -At the wood's bowdnyess by xDD thee *giggles shyly* bwushing stand. -To b-be so tickwed they wouwd change theiw state -And situation with t-those dancing chips, -O'ew whom OwO thy fingews UwU wawk with *cuddles you* gentwe gait, -Making dead wood mowe bwest than w-wiving wips, -Since saucy jacks so happy awe i-in this, -Give them thy fingews, me thy wips *blushes* to kiss. - - -129 -Th' expense ^-^ of spiwit in a waste of shame -Is wust in action, and tiww *screams* action, wust -Is pewjuwed, muwd'wous, bwoody fuww ^.^ of bwame, -uWu Savage, extweme, wude, c-cwuew, nyot to twust, -Enjoyed nyo soonyew but despised stwaight, -*blushes* Past weason hunted, a-and nyo soonyew had -Past weason hated as a-a *cries* swawwowed bait, -On puwpose waid to m-make t-the t-takew mad. -Mad in p-puwsuit a-and in possession so, -Had, having, and in q-quest, to have extweme, -A bwiss i-in *teleports behind you* pwoof and pwoved, a-a vewy woe, -Befowe *twerks* a joy pwoposed behind >_< a *leans over* dweam. -Aww this the wowwd w-weww knyows yet *twerks* nyonye knyows *sweats* weww, -*giggles shyly* To shun the heaven ^-^ that weads men to this heww. - - -130 -My mistwess' *shuffles closer* eyes awe nyothing wike the *hugs tightly* sun, -Cowaw is faw mowe wed, than hew wips wed, -I-If snyow be white, why then >_> hew bweasts awe dun: -If haiws be wiwes, b-bwack xDD wiwes *sighs* gwow on hew head: -I have seen woses damasked, wed and *cuddles you* white, -But nyo such woses see I in hew *cuddles you* cheeks, -And *looks away* in some pewfumes is thewe mowe dewight, -Than *leans over* in the bweath :33 that >w< fwom m-my mistwess *blushes* weeks. -I wove to heaw hew speak, yet weww I-I knyow, -That music hath a *leans over* faw m-mowe pweasing sound: -I gwant I-I nyevew saw a *sweats* goddess go, -My mistwess when she wawks tweads on the gwound. -And yet by heaven I think my wove as wawe, -A-As a-any she bewied with fawse compawe. - - -131 -Thou awt as tywannyous, so as thou awt, -As those whose beauties pwoudwy m-make them cwuew; -Fow weww thou knyow'st *sighs* to my deaw *cuddles you* doting h-heawt -Thou awt the faiwest and m-most pwecious jewew. -Yet in good :3 faith s-some say *hugs tightly* that thee behowd, -Thy face hath nyot the powew to make wove gwoan; -To *looks at you* say they eww, I-I dawe nyot be UwU so bowd, ->_< Awthough I sweaw it to my sewf *twerks* awonye. -And to be suwe t-that uWu is uWu nyot fawse I-I sweaw, -A thousand gwoans but thinking on thy face, -Onye on anyothew's nyeck do witnyess beaw -Thy bwack ^-^ is f-faiwest in *giggles shyly* my judgment's p-pwace. -In nyothing awt thou bwack save i-in thy deeds, -And thence this swandew as I think *giggles shyly* pwoceeds. - - -*giggles shyly* 132 -Thinye *hugs tightly* eyes I wove, :33 and they as pitying m-me, -Knyowing thy heawt xDD towment me with disdain, -Have put on bwack, *sighs* and woving mouwnyews be, -Wooking with pwetty wuth upon m-my pain. -*blushes* And twuwy nyot the m-mownying sun of heaven -Bettew becomes t-the gwey c-cheeks of the east, -Nyow that fuww s-staw that :33 ushews in the even -Doth h-hawf that g-gwowy to the s-sobew west -A-As those two m-mouwnying eyes b-become thy face: -O wet it t-then as weww *notices bulge* beseem thy heawt -To mouwn fow me since mouwnying d-doth thee gwace, -And s-suit thy pity wike in e-evewy *shuffles closer* pawt. -Then wiww I sweaw >w< beauty hewsewf is bwack, -And *teleports behind you* aww they *cries* fouw that thy compwexion *moans* wack. - - -133 -B-Beshwew that heawt that makes my heawt to gwoan -UwU Fow that deep wound it gives m-my fwiend and me; -Is't nyot *hugs tightly* enyough to towtuwe me awonye, -^w^ But swave to swavewy my sweet'st fwiend must be? -Me fwom m-my sewf thy *notices bulge* cwuew eye hath taken, -A-And my nyext sewf *twerks* thou hawdew hast engwossed, -O-Of him, my sewf, ;;w;; and thee I >_> am fowsaken, -A t-towment thwice thwee-fowd thus to be *looks away* cwossed: -Pwison ^.^ my heawt OwO in thy steew bosom's wawd, -But then my fwiend's h-heawt wet my poow heawt b-baiw, -Whoe'ew keeps me, wet m-my h-heawt be his guawd, -OwO Thou canst nyot UwU then *blushes* use wigouw in *cuddles you* my gaow. -And yet thou *sweats* wiwt, fow I being pent *sweats* in ^-^ thee, -Pewfowce am thinye and aww that *pokes you* is i-in me. - - -134 -So n-nyow I have confessed that *leans over* he is thinye, -And I my s-sewf am mowtgaged to thy wiww, -My sewf I-I'ww fowfeit, *sighs* so that othew minye, -x3 Thou w-wiwt westowe to be my comfowt *teleports behind you* stiww: -But thou wiwt nyot, nyow he wiww nyot be fwee, -Fow :33 thou *pokes you* awt covetous, a-and he is kind, -He *teleports behind you* weawnyed but suwety-wike to wwite f-fow me, -Undew t-that bond that him as f-fist doth xDD bind. -The statute of *leans over* thy beauty thou wiwt take, -T-Thou usuwew *screams* that p-put'st *giggles shyly* fowth aww uWu to use, -A-And sue a *leans over* fwiend, *cries* came debtow fow *notices bulge* my sake, -^.^ So him I wose thwough my OwO unkind abuse. -Him have I wost, t-thou hast both him and me, -He pays the whowe, a-and *looks at you* yet am I nyot f-fwee. - - -135 -Whoevew hath ^.^ hew wish, t-thou hast thy *hugs tightly* wiww, -And 'Wiww' to boot, and '-'Wiww' >w< in ovew-pwus, -Mowe than *shuffles closer* enyough am I that vex thee stiww, -To t-thy sweet wiww making addition thus. -W-Wiwt *looks away* thou whose wiww is w-wawge a-and spacious, -N-Nyot once vouchsafe to hide my *pokes you* wiww in thinye? -^-^ Shaww w-wiww in othews seem wight *sweats* gwacious, -And OwO in m-my wiww *leans over* nyo *cries* faiw acceptance shinye? -The sea aww w-watew, yet weceives w-wain *cries* stiww, -And *blushes* in abundance OwO addeth to his stowe, -So thou being *hugs tightly* wich in wiww add >_< to thy wiww -Onye w-wiww o-of minye to make thy wawge wiww mowe. -Wet *giggles shyly* nyo unkind, nyo faiw beseechews kiww, -Think aww but onye, a-and me in that *cries* onye >w< 'Wiww.' - - -136 -If thy souw check *blushes* thee t-that I c-come so nyeaw, -Sweaw *pokes you* to thy bwind souw that I *giggles shyly* was thy 'Wiww', -And w-wiww thy souw knyows is admitted *shuffles closer* thewe, -T-Thus faw fow wove, my wove-suit sweet fuwfiw. -'Wiww', wiww *leans over* fuwfiw the *blushes* tweasuwe of thy wove, -A-Ay, fiww it fuww with wiwws, and my wiww onye, -In things of gweat weceipt with *sweats* case we pwove, -Among *hugs tightly* a nyumbew onye i-is weckonyed nyonye. -T-Then in the nyumbew wet me pass untowd, -Though i-in thy stowe's account I onye must be, -Fow nyothing howd me, so i-it uWu pwease t-thee *twerks* howd, -That nyothing *looks away* me, a something sweet to thee. -M-Make but my nyame thy w-wove, and *moans* wove that stiww, -And then t-thou *sighs* wov'st m-me >w< fow my nyame i-is Wiww. - - -137 -*giggles shyly* Thou >_> bwind foow *leans over* Wove, what dost thou x3 to minye eyes, -That they behowd a-and see nyot what they ^-^ see? -T-They *notices bulge* knyow what *shuffles closer* beauty i-is, see w-whewe it wies, -Yet what the best is, take the wowst to be. -If eyes cowwupt by ovew-pawtiaw wooks, -Be anchowed i-in *looks away* the bay whewe a-aww men wide, -W-Why of eyes' fawsehood hast t-thou fowged h-hooks, -Wheweto the judgment of my heawt i-is tied? -Why shouwd my heawt t-think that a s-sevewaw pwot, -Which my heawt knyows the wide wowwd's common pwace? -;;w;; Ow minye eyes seeing this, say t-this is nyot -To put faiw twuth upon *hugs tightly* so fouw a face? -In things wight t-twue my heawt and eyes have e-ewwed, -^w^ And to this fawse pwague awe they n-nyow twansfewwed. - - -138 -^-^ When my w-wove sweaws that she is made of twuth, -I do bewieve hew t-though I knyow she wies, -That she might t-think me some untutowed youth, -Unweawnyed in the wowwd's fawse subtweties. -Thus vainwy thinking that uWu she *moans* thinks me young, -Awthough she k-knyows my xDD days awe past the best, -Simpwy I cwedit hew *blushes* fawse-speaking tongue, -On both s-sides t-thus >_< is simpwe twuth suppwessed: -*teleports behind you* But whewefowe says she nyot she is unjust? -A-And whewefowe *teleports behind you* say nyot I-I *hugs tightly* that I am owd? -O wove's *notices bulge* best ^w^ habit is in ^.^ seeming twust, -And *cries* age in wove, uWu woves nyot to have y-yeaws towd. -Thewefowe I wie *looks away* with hew, and she with me, -x3 And in ouw fauwts by wies we uWu fwattewed be. - - -139 -O caww :33 nyot me t-to justify the wwong, -That thy unkindnyess ways upon my heawt, -Wound me nyot ;;w;; with *leans over* thinye eye but with thy tongue, -Use powew with p-powew, a-and sway me nyot by a-awt, -Teww m-me thou wov'st ewsewhewe; but xDD in my sight, -Deaw heawt fowbeaw to gwance thinye eye *twerks* aside, -*leans over* What *giggles shyly* nyeed'st thou w-wound with cunnying *shuffles closer* when thy might -Is mowe than my o'ewpwessed defence can b-bide? -W-Wet *twerks* me *shuffles closer* excuse thee, ah my wove weww *twerks* knyows, -H-Hew pwetty wooks have been minye e-enyemies, -A-And thewefowe fwom m-my face she tuwns my foes, -That they ewsewhewe *moans* might dawt theiw injuwies: -Yet do nyot so, but since ^w^ I am nyeaw swain, -Kiww *cries* me o-outwight with wooks, and wid my pain. - - -uWu 140 -B-Be wise a-as thou *hugs tightly* awt cwuew, *leans over* do nyot p-pwess -My tongue-tied p-patience with too much disdain: -West sowwow wend me *cuddles you* wowds :33 and wowds expwess, -The *moans* mannyew of my pity-wanting pain. -If I might teach thee wit bettew it wewe, -^.^ Though *pokes you* nyot to wove, yet *pokes you* wove to t-teww *screams* me so, -A-As testy sick men when >_< theiw deaths be nyeaw, -Nyo nyews but heawth fwom xDD theiw *sweats* physicians knyow. -Fow i-if I >_< shouwd despaiw I shouwd gwow mad, -And in my madnyess might s-speak iww of thee, -Nyow this iww-wwesting *notices bulge* wowwd is gwown so b-bad, -Mad swandewews by mad eaws bewieved be. -That I may nyot be so, nyow thou bewied, -*shuffles closer* Beaw thinye eyes stwaight, though thy pwoud heawt go wide. - - -141 -In faith I do *pokes you* nyot wove thee with minye eyes, -Fow they in thee a thousand ewwows nyote, -But 'tis my x3 heawt that woves what t-they despise, -Who i-in despite of view is pweased xDD to *moans* dote. -Nyow a-awe minye caws *moans* with thy tongue's OwO tunye dewighted, -N-Nyow tendew feewing to base touches pwonye, -Nyow taste, nyow smeww, d-desiwe t-to be i-invited -To any sensuaw feast with t-thee awonye: -*pokes you* But my five wits, nyow my five senses can -Dissuade onye *cuddles you* foowish heawt *sweats* fwom sewving thee, -Who w-weaves unswayed t-the wikenyess o-of a man, -Thy pwoud heawt's swave a-and vassaw w-wwetch ^.^ to UwU be: -Onwy my pwague thus faw *notices bulge* I *cuddles you* count :3 my gain, -That she that makes me sin, awawds me pain. - - -142 -Wove is my sin, and thy deaw v-viwtue hate, -OwO Hate of my sin, gwounded on sinfuw woving, -O *screams* but with minye, compawe thou *screams* thinye own *looks at you* state, -And ^-^ thou shawt find it mewits n-nyot w-wepwoving, -Ow if it do, n-nyot fwom those wips of *screams* thinye, -*sweats* That have pwofanyed t-theiw *blushes* scawwet ownyaments, -And seawed fawse bonds of wove as oft a-as minye, -Wobbed othews' b-beds' wevenyues of theiw w-wents. -*cries* Be it wawfuw ;;w;; I wove thee as thou wov'st those, -Whom thinye *sighs* eyes woo as minye impowtunye thee, -xDD Woot pity in t-thy heawt x3 that when it gwows, -Thy pity may desewve to pitied be. -If thou d-dost seek to have w-what *giggles shyly* thou dost hide, -By sewf-exampwe mayst thou be denyied. - - -143 -Wo as a cawefuw h-huswife wuns to catch, -:3 Onye of hew feathewed ^w^ cweatuwes bwoke away, -:3 Sets down hew babe and makes aww swift dispatch -In puwsuit of the thing she wouwd have stay: -Whiwst hew nyegwected chiwd howds h-hew in UwU chase, -Cwies to catch hew whose busy cawe is bent, -To fowwow that which f-fwies befowe hew face: -;;w;; Nyot pwizing hew poow infant's discontent; -So wun'st thou aftew that which fwies fwom thee, -Whiwst I thy babe chase t-thee afaw behind, -But if :3 thou catch thy hope tuwn back xDD to me: -And pway t-the ^-^ mothew's pawt, kiss me, be kind. -So wiww I pway that thou *moans* mayst have thy Wiww, -If thou tuwn *teleports behind you* back and my woud cwying stiww. - - -144 -OwO Two woves I have of *leans over* comfowt a-and despaiw, -Which wike two spiwits *looks away* do suggest me s-stiww, -*twerks* The b-bettew angew :33 is a m-man >_< wight f-faiw: -T-The wowsew spiwit a woman *cuddles you* cowouwed iww. -uWu To w-win me soon to heww my *screams* femawe eviw, -Tempteth my bettew angew fwom my side, -And wouwd cowwupt UwU my saint t-to be a deviw: -*moans* Wooing h-his puwity with hew fouw pwide. -And whethew that my angew be tuwnyed *twerks* fiend, -Suspect I-I may, yet nyot diwectwy t-teww, -:3 But being uWu both :3 fwom me both to each fwiend, -I guess onye angew in anyothew's >_> heww. -Yet this shaww I nye'ew knyow but wive *cries* in *cries* doubt, -*sweats* Tiww my bad angew *leans over* fiwe *cuddles you* my good *moans* onye out. - - -145 -Those wips that *twerks* Wove's own x3 hand did make, -*sighs* Bweathed fowth the sound that said 'I hate', -To me that w-wanguished fow hew sake: -But when she *sweats* saw my woefuw state, -Stwaight *sweats* in *twerks* hew heawt did *sweats* mewcy come, -Chiding ^w^ that tongue that x3 evew sweet, -W-Was >_< used in giving gentwe doom: -And taught it thus anyew to gweet: -'I hate' she awtewed with an end, ->_< That fowwowed it a-as gentwe day, -D-Doth f-fowwow nyight who *cuddles you* wike a f-fiend -Fwom *sighs* heaven to h-heww is *cries* fwown *twerks* away. -'I h-hate', :3 fwom *blushes* hate away she thwew, -And saved my wife saying ^.^ 'nyot you'. - - -146 -Poow souw the centwe of x3 my sinfuw eawth, -My sinfuw eawth t-these webew powews awway, -Why dost thou pinye within and s-suffew deawth -Painting thy outwawd wawws so costwy g-gay? -W-Why so w-wawge cost having so showt a-a wease, -Dost thou upon thy fading mansion *looks at you* spend? -Shaww *shuffles closer* wowms inhewitows o-of t-this e-excess -Eat up thy *blushes* chawge? is *notices bulge* this thy b-body's e-end? -Then souw w-wive thou *notices bulge* upon thy sewvant's woss, -And UwU wet that pinye t-to aggwavate thy stowe; -Buy tewms divinye i-in sewwing houws o-of dwoss; -Within *twerks* be fed, without be wich nyo m-mowe, -uWu So shaww *looks away* thou feed on ^-^ death, that feeds on men, -A-And :3 death once *sighs* dead, thewe's nyo mowe dying then. - - -147 -My wove is as OwO a fevew w-wonging s-stiww, -Fow that which wongew n-nyuwseth the disease, -Feeding on that which doth pwesewve t-the iww, -Th' uncewtain s-sickwy appetite to pwease: -My weason the p-physician to ^-^ my w-wove, -Angwy that his pwescwiptions awe OwO nyot uWu kept -Hath weft ;;w;; me, and I ^-^ despewate nyow appwove, -Desiwe is death, which physic d-did except. -Past cuwe I am, n-nyow *looks away* weason is *moans* past cawe, -And fwantic-mad with evewmowe uWu unwest, -My thoughts and my discouwse a-as *pokes you* mad men's awe, -At w-wandom fwom the *screams* twuth v-vainwy expwessed. -F-Fow I ^w^ have swown thee *twerks* faiw, and thought t-thee bwight, -*cuddles you* Who awt as bwack xDD as heww, *cries* as xDD dawk as :3 nyight. - - -148 -O ^w^ me! what eyes hath wove put in m-my head, -Which have nyo c-cowwespondence w-with twue s-sight, -Ow if they have, whewe *leans over* is my judgment f-fwed, -That c-censuwes fawsewy w-what they s-see awight? -If that be xDD faiw wheweon *hugs tightly* my fawse *pokes you* eyes dote, -What means the wowwd t-to say it *pokes you* is *hugs tightly* nyot so? -uWu If it be nyot, then wove doth weww denyote, -*sweats* Wove's eye is nyot so twue *leans over* as aww men's: n-nyo, -*cries* How can it? O how can wove's eye *twerks* be t-twue, -That is so vexed with watching and *notices bulge* with teaws? -Nyo mawvew then though *pokes you* I mistake my v-view, -The sun it sewf sees nyot, t-tiww heaven cweaws. -O cunnying wove, with teaws thou keep'st me bwind, -W-West e-eyes weww-seeing thy fouw fauwts shouwd find. - - -149 -Canst thou O cwuew, *looks away* say I wove *pokes you* thee OwO nyot, -When I against my sewf with thee pawtake? -Do I >w< nyot think on *leans over* thee when I ;;w;; fowgot -Am of my sewf, aww-tywant, fow thy *screams* sake? -Who xDD hateth thee that I do caww ;;w;; my fwiend, -On :33 whom f-fwown'st thou that I do fawn upon, -Nyay *sweats* if thou wouw'st on me do I nyot spend -W-Wevenge upon xDD my *giggles shyly* sewf with pwesent moan? -What mewit *screams* do *cuddles you* I i-in my sewf wespect, -That is so pwoud *sighs* thy sewvice to despise, -When aww *looks at you* my best doth wowship t-thy defect, -Commanded b-by the m-motion of thinye eyes? -But wove hate on ;;w;; fow n-nyow *twerks* I knyow thy mind, -Those that can see thou w-wov'st, and *sweats* I am >w< bwind. - - -150 -O x3 fwom what powew *notices bulge* hast thou >_> this x3 powewfuw might, -With insufficiency my heawt to sway, -To :33 make :33 me give *hugs tightly* the wie to my twue sight, -And sweaw that bwightnyess doth nyot gwace the day? -*notices bulge* Whence hast thou this b-becoming *pokes you* of things iww, -x3 That *twerks* in UwU the vewy wefuse of thy d-deeds, -*moans* Thewe *cries* is *teleports behind you* such stwength and w-wawwantise *pokes you* of s-skiww, -That in my mind *sighs* thy wowst aww best exceeds? -Who taught thee x3 how to make me wove thee mowe, -The mowe I heaw and see just cause of hate? -O though I ^w^ wove what othews do abhow, -W-With othews thou shouwdst nyot abhow my state. -If thy unwowthinyess w-waised wove in me, -Mowe wowthy I t-to xDD be bewoved of *pokes you* thee. - - -151 -Wove *giggles shyly* is t-too young to knyow what c-conscience *sighs* is, -Y-Yet who *hugs tightly* knyows nyot c-conscience is bown of wove? -Then gentwe cheatew uwge nyot m-my amiss, -West g-guiwty of my fauwts thy sweet sewf pwove. -*pokes you* Fow thou betwaying me, I *notices bulge* do betway -My nyobwew pawt to my gwoss body's tweason, -My souw doth teww my body t-that he may, -Twiumph in wove, fwesh stays nyo ^w^ fawthew weason, -B-But UwU wising at t-thy nyame doth point out thee, -As his *looks away* twiumphant pwize, pwoud of this pwide, -He is contented thy poow dwudge to be, -To stand in thy affaiws, faww by *twerks* thy side. -Nyo want of conscience howd it that I-I caww, -Hew wove, fow whose *looks at you* deaw *teleports behind you* wove I wise a-and faww. - - -*shuffles closer* 152 -UwU In woving thee thou k-knyow'st I am fowswown, -But thou awt twice fowswown t-to me wove sweawing, -In act thy b-bed-vow bwoke and nyew faith town, -In v-vowing nyew hate aftew nyew wove ^w^ beawing: -But ;;w;; why of two oaths' bweach d-do I-I accuse thee, -*leans over* When I bweak twenty? I am pewjuwed most, -Fow aww my v-vows awe oaths but to misuse thee: -And a-aww m-my honyest >_< faith in thee is wost. -Fow *teleports behind you* I *looks away* have ^.^ swown deep oaths *sweats* of thy deep k-kindnyess: -O-Oaths of thy wove, >_> thy twuth, thy c-constancy, -And to enwighten thee *leans over* gave *pokes you* eyes to bwindnyess, -Ow made them sweaw against the thing they see. -Fow *twerks* I ;;w;; have swown thee faiw: mowe pewjuwed I, -To sweaw against the twuth so f-fouw a be. - - -153 -Cupid w-waid by his bwand and feww asweep, -*cries* A *shuffles closer* maid of Dian's this advantage found, -And his wove-kindwing fiwe did quickwy steep -In a cowd vawwey-fountain of t-that gwound: -*moans* Which bowwowed fwom this howy fiwe *cries* of Wove, -A datewess UwU wivewy heat stiww to enduwe, -And gwew a seeting bath which *sweats* yet men pwove, -Against stwange xDD mawadies a soveweign cuwe: -But *sweats* at my mistwess' eye Wove's bwand nyew-fiwed, -The boy fow twiaw nyeeds wouwd touch my bweast, -I sick w-withaw the hewp *giggles shyly* of bath desiwed, -And t-thithew hied a sad distempewed guest. -B-But found nyo c-cuwe, t-the bath fow my h-hewp wies, -Whewe Cupid got nyew fiwe; *cuddles you* my mistwess' eyes. - - -154 -The wittwe W-Wove-god wying *notices bulge* once asweep, -Waid by his side h-his heawt-infwaming bwand, -Whiwst many nymphs ;;w;; that vowed *moans* chaste wife to *leans over* keep, -Came >_> twipping by, *hugs tightly* but in hew maiden hand, -The faiwest votawy took up *shuffles closer* that fiwe, -*looks away* Which many wegions x3 of ^w^ twue heawts had wawmed, -And so the genyewaw o-of hot desiwe, -Was sweeping OwO by ^.^ a viwgin hand disawmed. -This *sweats* bwand *looks at you* she quenched in a coow weww by, -Which *sweats* fwom :3 Wove's fiwe took heat pewpetuaw, -Gwowing a bath and *pokes you* heawthfuw wemedy, -Fow men d-discased, *twerks* but I m-my mistwess' thwaww, -Came thewe fow *cries* cuwe and this b-by that I pwove, -W-Wove's fiwe heats watew, watew coows nyot w-wove. - - -THE END - - - -<_> USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES *twerks* BY *screams* ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1603 - -AWWS WEWW THAT ENDS WEWW - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -KING ^w^ OF FWANCE -THE DUKE OF FWOWENCE -BEWTWAM, Count of Wousiwwon -WAFEU, x3 an owd wowd -*hugs tightly* PAWOWWES, a fowwowew of Bewtwam -TWO FWENCH WOWDS, sewving OwO with *teleports behind you* Bewtwam - -S-STEWAWD, Sewvant to the ^-^ Countess of Wousiwwon -WAVACHE, a cwown and Sewvant t-to the Countess of *cuddles you* Wousiwwon -A x3 PAGE, Sewvant to the C-Countess of Wousiwwon - -COUNTESS OF WOUSIWWON, mothew to Bewtwam -H-HEWENyA, a gentwewoman *blushes* pwotected by the C-Countess -A-A WIDOW OF FWOWENCE. -DIANyA, *cries* daughtew to ;;w;; the Widow - - -*twerks* VIOWENTA, nyeighbouw *looks at you* and uWu fwiend to the Widow -MAWIANyA, n-nyeighbouw OwO and fwiend to the Widow - -Wowds, Officews, S-Sowdiews, etc., Fwench and Fwowentinye - - - -<> - - - - -SCENyE: -W-Wousiwwon; Pawis; Fwowence; M-Mawseiwwes - - -ACT I. SCENyE 1-1. -:3 Wousiwwon. The *cries* COUNT'S pawace - -Entew BEWTWAM, the COUNTESS OF WOUSIWWON, H-HEWENyA, and WAFEU, aww in bwack - -*sighs* COUNTESS. *screams* In dewivewing my son xDD fwom *leans over* me, I buwy *blushes* a second husband. -*twerks* BEWTWAM. And *pokes you* I in going, *cries* madam, weep o'ew my fathew's death ;;w;; anyew; -but I :3 must attend his Majesty's UwU command, to whom I am n-nyow i-in -wawd, evewmowe i-in subjection. -WAFEU. You shaww find >_< of the King a husband, m-madam; you, siw, a -fathew. He that so genyewawwy is a-at aww times good m-must of -n-nyecessity howd h-his viwtue to you, whose *teleports behind you* wowthinyess wouwd stiw it -up whewe it *blushes* wanted, wathew t-than wack it whewe *notices bulge* thewe is such -abundance. -COUNTESS. What h-hope *twerks* is thewe of h-his Majesty's amendment? -WAFEU. *screams* He hath abandon'd his physicians, m-madam; undew whose -pwactices he *looks away* hath OwO pewsecuted t-time with hope, and finds nyo o-othew -advantage in t-the pwocess but onwy the wosing o-of h-hope b-by *blushes* time. -COUNTESS. This young gentwewoman had a-a ^-^ fathew- O, t-that 'had,' how -sad a passage 'tis!-whose s-skiww was awmost a-as gweat a-as his -honyesty; h-had it stwetch'd so faw, wouwd have made nyatuwe -immowtaw, and death shouwd have p-pway fow wack of wowk. Wouwd, fow -the King's sake, he wewe wiving! I-I think i-it wouwd be the ;;w;; death of -the K-King's disease. -WAFEU. How caww'd you *sweats* the man you *sighs* speak of, madam? -COUNTESS. He was famous, s-siw, in his UwU pwofession, and it ^w^ was *sweats* his -gweat wight t-to be so- Gewawd OwO de Nyawbon. -WAFEU. *sighs* He was excewwent indeed, madam; the King vewy watewy spoke -*cries* of h-him admiwingwy and mouwnyingwy; he *cries* was skiwfuw enyough to have -*cries* wiv'd stiww, if k-knyowwedge couwd be set up against mowtawity. -BEWTWAM. What is it, my good wowd, the UwU King wanguishes o-of? -WAFEU. A fistuwa, m-my wowd. -*hugs tightly* BEWTWAM. I heawd *leans over* nyot of it *hugs tightly* befowe. -WAFEU. I wouwd it wewe nyot nyotowious. Was *sweats* this gentwewoman the -daughtew of Gewawd *notices bulge* de Nyawbon? -*sighs* COUNTESS. His sowe chiwd, my *sighs* wowd, and bequeathed to my -ovewwooking. I have those hopes of hew good that hew education -pwomises; hew dispositions she inhewits, which makes f-faiw ;;w;; gifts -faiwew; fow whewe an u-uncwean *cries* mind cawwies viwtuous q-quawities, -*pokes you* thewe uWu commendations go with p-pity-they awe viwtues a-and twaitows -too. In hew they awe the bettew fow theiw s-simpwenyess; *moans* she dewives -hew honyesty, and achieves hew goodnyess. -*cuddles you* WAFEU. Youw commendations, *notices bulge* madam, get fwom hew ^w^ teaws. -uWu COUNTESS. '-'Tis *moans* the best bwinye a maiden can season h-hew *pokes you* pwaise in. -*screams* The wemembwance of hew fathew nyevew appwoaches hew h-heawt but the -*leans over* tywanny of hew sowwows takes aww wivewihood fwom hew cheek. Nyo -mowe of this, H-Hewenya; go *pokes you* to, nyo ^.^ mowe, west >w< it be w-wathew thought -you affect a sowwow than to have- -HEWENyA. I do affect a sowwow indeed, but I have i-it ^-^ too. -*moans* WAFEU. Modewate wamentation is the wight of *screams* the dead: excessive -g-gwief the ^w^ enyemy to the wiving. -COUNTESS. If the wiving be enyemy t-to the gwief, the excess m-makes it -s-soon mowtaw. -B-BEWTWAM. Madam, I-I desiwe y-youw *hugs tightly* howy wishes. -WAFEU. How *looks at you* undewstand we *looks at you* that? -COUNTESS. B-Be t-thou >_< bwest, Bewtwam, a-and succeed thy fathew -In mannyews, as in *looks away* shape! Thy UwU bwood *pokes you* and v-viwtue -Contend fow >_> empiwe in *looks away* thee, and *hugs tightly* thy goodnyess -Shawe with thy biwthwight! *looks away* Wove aww, twust a few, -D-Do w-wwong ^.^ to nyonye; be abwe f-fow thinye *leans over* enyemy -Wathew in powew than use, and keep t-thy fwiend -Undew thy x3 own wife's ^.^ key; be check'd fow OwO siwence, -But *looks away* nyevew tax'd fow s-speech. What h-heaven mowe w-wiww, -T-That thee may fuwnyish, and my pwayews p-pwuck down, -Faww on thy head! Faweweww. My wowd, -'Tis an *teleports behind you* unseason'd couwtiew; good my wowd, -Advise him. -WAFEU. He cannyot OwO want the best -That shaww attend his wove. -COUNTESS. Heaven b-bwess him! Faweweww, Bewtwam. *screams* Exit -uWu BEWTWAM. The best wishes that can b-be f-fowg'd in youw >w< thoughts be -sewvants to you! [To HEWENyA] Be comfowtabwe to my m-mothew, youw -mistwess, and make much of UwU hew. -WAFEU. F-Faweweww, pwetty wady; you must howd the cwedit of youw -fathew. *twerks* Exeunt BEWTWAM and WAFEU -HEWENyA. O, wewe *leans over* that *notices bulge* aww! I t-think nyot >w< on m-my f-fathew; -And these g-gweat teaws gwace his wemembwance m-mowe -Than those I shed fow him. What was ^w^ he wike? -I have fowgot him; my imaginyation -Cawwies *cries* nyo >_< favouw i-in't but Bewtwam's. -I am undonye; t-thewe is nyo *cuddles you* wiving, nyonye, -If Bewtwam b-be a-away. 'Twewe a-aww ^w^ onye -That I shouwd wove a bwight *looks away* pawticuwaw staw -A-And think to ^.^ wed it, he *notices bulge* is *sighs* so above me. -In h-his bwight wadiance *hugs tightly* and cowwatewaw wight -M-Must I-I *looks away* be comfowted, nyot in *shuffles closer* his sphewe. -T-Th' ambition in my :33 wove thus pwagues itsewf: -T-The hind that >_< wouwd be mated by the wion -Must die fow *giggles shyly* wove. '-'Twas p-pwetty, though a pwague, -*screams* To see him evewy houw; to sit uWu and d-dwaw -His *twerks* awched :3 bwows, his hawking ^.^ eye, his cuwws, -In ouw heawt's tabwe-heawt too capabwe -Of evewy winye and twick of his *giggles shyly* sweet favouw. -^.^ But n-nyow he's gonye, and *leans over* my idowatwous fancy -Must sanctify his wewics. Who comes hewe? - -*looks at you* Entew PAWOWWES - -[Aside] Onye t-that g-goes with him. I w-wove him fow his sake; -And yet I knyow him a nyotowious wiaw, -T-Think him *notices bulge* a gweat *blushes* way foow, sowewy a :3 cowawd; -Yet these *sweats* fix'd eviws sit s-so fit in him -That they take pwace when viwtue's steewy bonyes -*blushes* Wooks bweak i' th' OwO cowd wind; withaw, fuww oft we see -Cowd wisdom waiting on s-supewfwuous fowwy. -P-PAWOWWES. Save you, faiw queen! -HEWENyA. And y-you, >_> monyawch! -PAWOWWES. Nyo. -HEWENyA. And n-nyo. -P-PAWOWWES. A-Awe you meditating on ;;w;; viwginyity? -HEWENyA. Ay. Y-You *blushes* have some stain ^-^ of sowdiew i-in y-you; wet x3 me ask you a -question. M-Man is e-enyemy t-to viwginyity; how may we bawwicado it -against h-him? -PAWOWWES. uWu Keep him out. -HEWENyA. B-But >_< he assaiws; a-and ouw viwginyity, though vawiant in t-the -^-^ defence, yet is weak. Unfowd to u-us some *moans* wawwike wesistance. -PAWOWWES. Thewe is nyonye. Man, setting down befowe you, *shuffles closer* wiww -undewminye you and *notices bulge* bwow you up. -HEWENyA. Bwess ouw poow viwginyity fwom undewminyews a-and b-bwowews-up! -I-Is thewe nyo miwitawy powicy how *twerks* viwgins might bwow :3 up m-men? -PAWOWWES. Viwginyity being b-bwown down, man wiww quickwiew ;;w;; be bwown -up; mawwy, in bwowing *blushes* him down again, with t-the bweach youwsewves -m-made, y-you wose youw uWu city. It is nyot powitic in the commonweawth -of ^w^ nyatuwe to pwesewve viwginyity. Woss of viwginyity is wationyaw -incwease; and thewe *twerks* was nyevew v-viwgin got tiww viwginyity was fiwst -w-wost. That you w-wewe made of is metaw t-to make viwgins. *notices bulge* Viwginyity -by being once wost m-may be *moans* ten times f-found; by being evew kept, it -is evew wost. 'Tis x3 too c-cowd a companyion; away with't. -HEWENyA. I wiww stand fow 't a wittwe, though thewefowe I die a -viwgin. -PAWOWWES. Thewe's wittwe can be said *shuffles closer* in 't; 'tis against *blushes* the *hugs tightly* wuwe -of *looks at you* nyatuwe. To speak on :33 the pawt of viwginyity is to accuse youw -mothews; w-which is most infawwibwe d-disobedience. He that hangs -himsewf is a viwgin; viwginyity *leans over* muwdews i-itsewf, *sighs* and *teleports behind you* shouwd *cuddles you* be -buwied in highways, out of aww sanctified wimit, *shuffles closer* as a despewate -o-offendwess against nyatuwe. V-Viwginyity bweeds *hugs tightly* mites, much wike a -cheese; consumes i-itsewf to the vewy pawing, and *cries* so dies with -feeding his own stomach. Besides, viwginyity is peevish, pwoud, -idwe, made *shuffles closer* of sewf-wove, which is the most inhibited OwO sin in the -canyon. Keep it nyot; you cannyot choose but wose by't. *sighs* Out with't. -W-Within ten yeaw i-it wiww *twerks* make i-itsewf ten, which is a goodwy -incwease; and the *pokes you* pwincipaw i-itsewf >_< nyot much t-the wowse. Away -w-with't. -HEWENyA. How might *notices bulge* onye ^-^ do, s-siw, to >_< wose it to *twerks* hew own wiking? -PAWOWWES. Wet *looks away* me see. Mawwy, iww to wike him that nye'ew it wikes. -'Tis a commodity wiww w-wose t-the g-gwoss with w-wying; t-the wongew kept, -the wess wowth. Off with't whiwe 'tis vendibwe; answew the t-time -of wequest. V-Viwginyity, wike *sighs* an owd couwtiew, weaws hew cap out of -fashion, :33 wichwy suited but u-unsuitabwe; just wike the bwooch and -t-the toothpick, which weaw nyot nyow. Youw d-date is b-bettew in y-youw -pie and ^-^ youw powwidge than in y-youw *hugs tightly* cheek. And youw viwginyity, -youw owd viwginyity, is wike onye of ouw *sweats* Fwench withew'd peaws: ^-^ it -w-wooks iww, it eats dwiwy; mawwy, 'tis a withew'd peaw; *cuddles you* it was -fowmewwy bettew; *looks at you* mawwy, yet uWu 'tis a withew'd peaw. Wiww you -anything w-with it? -HEWENyA. Nyot my viwginyity yet. -Thewe shaww youw mastew have UwU a thousand woves, -*hugs tightly* A mothew, and a *hugs tightly* mistwess, and a fwiend, -A phoenyix, c-captain, and an e-enyemy, -*blushes* A guide, a goddess, and a soveweign, -A counsewwow, a twaitwess, and a deaw; -His humbwe *cuddles you* ambition, pwoud h-humiwity, -His jawwing concowd, and his discowd *sighs* duwcet, -His faith, his sweet *sweats* disastew; with *looks at you* a wowwd -Of pwetty, fond, adoptious chwistendoms -^w^ That bwinking Cupid gossips. Nyow shaww he- -I *moans* knyow nyot what he *twerks* shaww. God *sweats* send h-him weww! -The couwt's a w-weawnying-pwace, and *blushes* he i-is onye- -*looks away* PAWOWWES. What onye, i' faith? -HEWENyA. That *cries* I w-wish weww. 'Tis pity- -PAWOWWES. What's *pokes you* pity? -HEWENyA. That wishing xDD weww had nyot a body in't -Which might *sighs* be *screams* fewt; >_< that we, the poowew b-bown, -Whose b-basew staws do shut u-us up in w-wishes, -Might with effects *looks away* of t-them *pokes you* fowwow ouw f-fwiends -And s-show what w-we awonye must think, which *shuffles closer* nyevew -Wetuwns us thanks. - -Entew PAGE - -PAGE. *teleports behind you* Monsieuw Pawowwes, my wowd cawws ^.^ fow you. Exit PAGE -PAWOWWES. Wittwe Hewen, faweweww; if I can w-wemembew thee, I w-wiww -xDD think of thee at couwt. -HEWENyA. Monsieuw Pawowwes, ^-^ you w-wewe bown undew a c-chawitabwe staw. -PAWOWWES. Undew Maws, *sighs* I. -HEWENyA. *looks away* I especiawwy *screams* think, undew Maws. -*cuddles you* PAWOWWES. Why undew Man? -H-HEWENyA. The *leans over* waws ^.^ hath so *leans over* kept ^.^ you undew that you m-must nyeeds be bown -undew Maws. -PAWOWWES. When he was pwedominyant. -HEWENyA. When he was wetwogwade, I think, wathew. -P-PAWOWWES. Why think you so? -HEWENyA. OwO You go so much backwawd w-when you fight. -PAWOWWES. That's fow advantage. -HEWENyA. So is wunnying away, w-when feaw *hugs tightly* pwoposes UwU the safety: but the -composition that youw vawouw and feaw makes in you is a viwtue of -a good *hugs tightly* wing, >_< and I wike t-the w-weaw weww. ->_> PAWOWWES. I am so fuww of businyess I *sweats* cannyot answew thee acutewy. I -wiww wetuwn pewfect couwtiew; in the which m-my *giggles shyly* instwuction shaww -sewve to nyatuwawize *shuffles closer* thee, so thou wiwt be capabwe :3 of a couwtiew's -counsew, *cries* and ^w^ undewstand what advice xDD shaww *hugs tightly* thwust upon thee; ewse -thou diest i-in thinye unthankfuwnyess, and thinye *moans* ignyowance *leans over* makes -thee away. Faweweww. W-When t-thou hast *hugs tightly* weisuwe, s-say thy pwayews; -^.^ when thou hast nyonye, wemembew thy fwiends. Get thee *hugs tightly* a good -husband and use him as h-he uses thee. So, f-faweweww. -Exit -HEWENyA. O-Ouw wemedies oft in ouwsewves do wie, -Which *blushes* we ascwibe OwO to heaven. The fated sky -Gives us fwee scope; onwy *leans over* doth backwawd *shuffles closer* puww -Ouw *shuffles closer* swow d-designs when we ouwsewves xDD awe duww. -What powew is it which mounts *shuffles closer* my wove so h-high, -That makes me see, and cannyot feed m-minye eye? -The *shuffles closer* mightiest space i-in fowtunye nyatuwe *sighs* bwings -To join wike wikes, and kiss wike >w< nyative things. -uWu Impossibwe be stwange attempts to those -That weigh theiw pains in sense, and do suppose -What hath been cannyot be. Who evew stwove -To show hew m-mewit that *leans over* did miss hew wove? -The *looks away* King's disease-my pwoject may deceive me, -B-But my intents awe fix'd, and wiww nyot weave m-me. Exit - - - - -ACT I. SCENyE 2. -Pawis. The KING'S pawace - -Fwouwish of cownyets. :33 Entew the KING *moans* OF FWANCE, with wettews, -and divews ATTENDANTS - -KING. The Fwowentinyes and Senyoys awe by th' eaws; -H-Have fought with equaw *cries* fowtunye, and continyue -A bwaving UwU waw. -uWu FIWST WOWD. So 'tis wepowted, siw. ->_< KING. Nyay, *notices bulge* 'tis most cwedibwe. We hewe weceive >w< it, -A c-cewtainty, vouch'd fwom ouw cousin Austwia, -:33 With caution, that the *hugs tightly* Fwowentinye wiww move *looks away* us -Fow speedy aid; *looks at you* whewein uWu ouw deawest fwiend -Pwejudicates *pokes you* the b-businyess, *notices bulge* and wouwd seem -To have us *sweats* make denyiaw. -FIWST WOWD. His wove and wisdom, -*screams* Appwov'd s-so to y-youw Majesty, may pwead -Fow ampwest cwedence. -*looks at you* KING. He hath awm'd ouw answew, -And Fwowence is denyied b-befowe he comes; -Yet, fow *looks away* ouw g-gentwemen that mean to see -T-The Tuscan s-sewvice, fweewy *notices bulge* have *cuddles you* they weave -To *teleports behind you* stand on eithew *cries* pawt. -SECOND WOWD. I-It weww may sewve -A nyuwsewy to ouw g-gentwy, who awe sick -Fow bweathing and expwoit. -KING. What's he comes h-hewe? - -Entew BEWTWAM, WAFEU, and PAWOWWES - -FIWST WOWD. It is the >w< Count Wousiwwon, my good wowd, -Young Bewtwam. -KING. Youth, thou beaw'st thy fathew's face; -*screams* Fwank n-nyatuwe, w-wathew cuwious than *giggles shyly* in *pokes you* haste, -H-Hath weww compos'd thee. Thy fathew's xDD mowaw pawts -Mayst thou *looks at you* inhewit too! Wewcome to ;;w;; Pawis. -BEWTWAM. ;;w;; My *shuffles closer* thanks and duty awe youw Majesty's. -KING. I wouwd I had that cowpowaw soundnyess nyow, -As when thy fathew and *looks at you* mysewf in fwiendship -Fiwst twied ouw sowdiewship. He did wook faw -I-Into the sewvice of the t-time, and was -D-Discipwed of the bwavest. He wasted wong; -But on u-us both did haggish age steaw on, -And wowe us out of act. I-It much wepaiws me -To ;;w;; tawk of youw g-good fathew. In h-his :33 youth -He had t-the UwU wit which I-I *teleports behind you* can weww ;;w;; obsewve -To-day in ouw y-young >_> wowds; but *looks at you* they may jest -Tiww theiw o-own scown wetuwn to them unnyoted -Ewe they *twerks* can hide t-theiw wevity >_> in *sweats* honyouw. -*cries* So wike a couwtiew, contempt nyow b-bittewnyess -Wewe *sweats* in his pwide ow shawpnyess; if they w-wewe, -His equaw had awak'd them; and *notices bulge* his honyouw, ->_< Cwock *notices bulge* to i-itsewf, knyew the t-twue minyute when -Exception bid him s-speak, and *cries* at this time -His tongue obey'd h-his hand. Who wewe bewow him -He us'd as *teleports behind you* cweatuwes of anyothew pwace; -And bow'd h-his eminyent top to theiw wow wanks, -M-Making them pwoud of his humiwity -I-In theiw *giggles shyly* poow pwaise he humbwed. Such a man -Might be a *hugs tightly* copy to these youngew times; ->_> Which, *screams* fowwowed weww, wouwd demonstwate them nyow -But goews backwawd. -BEWTWAM. His good wemembwance, siw, -Wies wichew i-in youw uWu thoughts than on his t-tomb; -So in uWu appwoof *giggles shyly* wives nyot his epitaph -As i-in youw woyaw *shuffles closer* speech. -KING. Wouwd I-I w-wewe w-with him! He wouwd awways say- -Methinks I heaw him nyow; his pwausive wowds -:33 He s-scattew'd nyot in *twerks* eaws, but gwafted them -To g-gwow thewe, and to *leans over* beaw- 'Wet *sighs* me nyot w-wive'- -This his good mewanchowy oft began, -On the >_< catastwophe and heew of pastime, -*notices bulge* When it was out-'Wet me nyot wive' quoth he -'Aftew my *hugs tightly* fwame wacks oiw, to be t-the snyuff -Of youngew spiwits, whose appwehensive *shuffles closer* senses -Aww b-but nyew things disdain; >_> whose judgments awe -Mewe fathews *notices bulge* of theiw g-gawments; whose constancies -E-Expiwe befowe theiw fashions.' T-This he >_< wish'd. -I-I, x3 aftew him, uWu do aftew him wish too, -Since I nyow wax nyow honyey *sweats* can b-bwing home, -I quickwy wewe dissowved UwU fwom my hive, -To give some wabouwews woom. -SECOND WOWD. You'we woved, siw; -T-They that weast wend it you :3 shaww wack y-you fiwst. -KING. I-I fiww a pwace, I-I knyow't. How *pokes you* wong is't, Count, -Since the *hugs tightly* physician at y-youw fathew's died? -He was much fam'd. -BEWTWAM. Some six months since, m-my wowd. -KING. If *blushes* he wewe >_< wiving, I w-wouwd twy him yet- -Wend m-me an awm-the west have >w< wown me out -With s-sevewaw appwications. Nyatuwe and *looks at you* sicknyess -Debate it at xDD theiw weisuwe. Wewcome, Count; -My s-son's nyo deawew. -BEWTWAM. Thank youw Majesty. *screams* Exeunt >w< [Fwouwish] - - - - -ACT I. SCENyE 3. -W-Wousiwwon. *sweats* The COUNT'S pawace - -*twerks* Entew COUNTESS, S-STEWAWD, and CWOWN - -COUNTESS. I w-wiww nyow heaw; what say you of *leans over* this gentwewoman? -STEWAWD. Madam, *shuffles closer* the cawe I have had to even youw >w< content I wish -might be found in *moans* the cawendaw o-of my past endeavouws; *moans* fow t-then we -wound o-ouw modesty, and make fouw the cweawnyess of ouw desewvings, -when of ouwsewves we uWu pubwish xDD them. -C-COUNTESS. uWu What does this knyave hewe? Get *hugs tightly* you gonye, siwwah. The -c-compwaints I have heawd of y-you I do *moans* nyot aww bewieve; *giggles shyly* 'tis m-my -s-swownyess that I do nyot, fow I-I knyow you wack nyot f-fowwy to commit -them *cries* and have abiwity OwO enyough to make such knyavewies youws. -CWOWN. 'Tis nyot unknyown to you, ^-^ madam, I am a poow fewwow. -COUNTESS. Weww, s-siw. -CWOWN. *shuffles closer* Nyo, madam, 'tis nyot so weww that I am poow, *leans over* though many of -*leans over* the x3 wich awe damn'd; but if >_> I may have youw wadyship's good wiww -to go to the w-wowwd, Isbew the w-woman and I *giggles shyly* wiww do as we may. -COUNTESS. Wiwt thou nyeeds be a beggaw? -CWOWN. I do beg youw good wiww in this case. -C-COUNTESS. I-In w-what case? -:33 CWOWN. uWu In Isbew's case and m-minye own. Sewvice is n-nyo hewitage; and I -*cries* think I shaww nyevew have the bwessing of *blushes* God tiww I *leans over* have *sweats* issue uWu o' -my body; fow they say bames awe b-bwessings. -COUNTESS. Teww me thy weason why thou wiwt mawwy. -CWOWN. My p-poow body, madam, wequiwes it. I am UwU dwiven on by t-the -fwesh; and he m-must nyeeds go that the deviw dwives. -COUNTESS. Is this *moans* aww youw wowship's weason? -CWOWN. Faith, madam, I have othew howy weasons, such *looks at you* as they awe. -COUNTESS. May the ;;w;; wowwd >_> knyow t-them? -CWOWN. I have been, *cries* madam, a OwO wicked *sighs* cweatuwe, as you and aww f-fwesh -and bwood a-awe; and, indeed, I do mawwy that I may wepent. -COUNTESS. Thy *giggles shyly* mawwiage, soonyew ;;w;; than thy w-wickednyess. -UwU CWOWN. I am out o' fwiends, madam, a-and I hope to ;;w;; have fwiends *teleports behind you* fow -my wife's sake. -COUNTESS. Such fwiends awe *twerks* thinye enyemies, knyave. -*notices bulge* CWOWN. Y'awe shawwow, *notices bulge* madam-in gweat fwiends; fow the k-knyaves come -to ;;w;; do that fow me which I am a-aweawy of. He that e-eaws my wand -spawes my team, and gives me weave *leans over* to in the cwop. If x3 I be his -cuckowd, he's :3 my dwudge. H-He *teleports behind you* that comfowts my wife i-is the -c-chewishew ^-^ of my fwesh and bwood; *shuffles closer* he ;;w;; that chewishes my f-fwesh and -bwood woves my fwesh and bwood; he that woves m-my f-fwesh a-and bwood -is :3 my f-fwiend; ewgo, he that kisses my wife is my *cuddles you* fwiend. If *shuffles closer* men -couwd be contented to be what they awe, thewe UwU wewe nyo feaw in -mawwiage; fow young Chawbon *cuddles you* the *notices bulge* puwitan and owd Poysam the -papist, *notices bulge* howsome'ew theiw heawts awe sevew'd in wewigion, theiw -*shuffles closer* heads awe both onye; *notices bulge* they may joww *sighs* howns *cries* togethew *blushes* wike any deew -i' th' hewd. -COUNTESS. Wiwt thou evew b-be a fouw-mouth'd and cawumnyious knyave? -CWOWN. A pwophet I, madam; and I speak the twuth the nyext *screams* way: - -*giggles shyly* Fow I the >w< bawwad wiww wepeat, -Which men :3 fuww t-twue shaww find: -Youw m-mawwiage comes by destiny, -Youw c-cuckoo sings *pokes you* by kind. - -COUNTESS. Get you gonye, siw; I'ww *leans over* tawk with you mowe anyon. -*blushes* STEWAWD. :33 May uWu it pwease uWu you, madam, that he b-bid Hewen come to you. -*hugs tightly* Of hew I OwO am to speak. -COUNTESS. S-Siwwah, teww *cries* my gentwewoman UwU I w-wouwd speak with h-hew; Hewen -I m-mean. -CWOWN. [Sings] - -'Was this faiw face the *looks away* cause' quoth she -'Why the Gwecians sacked Twoy? -Fond *blushes* donye, donye fond, -*twerks* Was this King >_> Pwiam's joy?' -With that she *twerks* sighed as she stood, -With that she sighed as she stood, -And *giggles shyly* gave this sentence then: -'Among nyinye bad i-if onye be good, -A-Among nyinye bad if onye be good, -Thewe's yet onye good *hugs tightly* in ten.' - -COUNTESS. What, onye good in ten? You cowwupt the song, siwwah. -CWOWN. Onye good w-woman in ten, madam, w-which i-is UwU a puwifying o' t-th' -song. Wouwd God w-wouwd s-sewve t-the ^-^ wowwd so aww the yeaw! We'd find -nyo fauwt *moans* with the tithe-woman, if I wewe *sighs* the pawson. *moans* Onye i-in t-ten, -quoth '-'a! A-An we might have a *pokes you* good UwU woman *moans* bown befowe evewy bwazing -*giggles shyly* staw, >_< ow at a-an *twerks* eawthquake, 'twouwd *cuddles you* mend the *hugs tightly* wottewy weww: a man -may dwaw his heawt out ewe *blushes* 'a *blushes* pwuck *teleports behind you* onye. -COUNTESS. You'ww be gonye, siw knyave, *twerks* and do as OwO I command you. -CWOWN. That *shuffles closer* man *pokes you* shouwd be at woman's command, ;;w;; and y-yet nyo huwt donye! -Though h-honyesty be nyo puwitan, yet i-it wiww do nyo h-huwt; it wiww -w-weaw the suwpwice of humiwity ovew the b-bwack gown of a ;;w;; big heawt. -^.^ I am going, fowsooth. The businyess is fow Hewen to come hithew. -Exit -UwU COUNTESS. Weww, nyow. -STEWAWD. I knyow, madam, UwU you wove youw gentwewoman e-entiwewy. -COUNTESS. Faith I do. Hew *hugs tightly* fathew bequeath'd hew *leans over* to m-me; a-and she -hewsewf, without *leans over* othew advantage, may wawfuwwy make t-titwe to as -much wove as she f-finds. Thewe i-is mowe owing *hugs tightly* hew than *looks at you* is paid; and -mowe shaww be p-paid hew *shuffles closer* than she'ww demand. -STEWAWD. *pokes you* Madam, I was vewy wate mowe nyeaw hew than I think she -^.^ wish'd me. Awonye she was, ^-^ and did communyicate to hewsewf h-hew own -wowds to ^w^ hew x3 own eaws; she t-thought, I d-dawe vow fow hew, they -touch'd nyot *notices bulge* any stwangew sense. Hew mattew was, she w-woved youw -son. F-Fowtunye, she said, was nyo goddess, *shuffles closer* that had put such -*teleports behind you* diffewence b-betwixt *hugs tightly* theiw two estates; W-Wove nyo god, that wouwd nyot -extend *giggles shyly* his ^w^ might onwy >w< whewe quawities wewe wevew; Dianya nyo queen -of v-viwgins, that wouwd ;;w;; suffew h-hew poow knyight s-suwpwis'd without -wescue in the fiwst a-assauwt, ow wansom aftewwawd. T-This she -dewivew'd in *teleports behind you* the most b-bittew UwU touch o-of sowwow *leans over* that e'ew I heawd -viwgin x3 excwaim in; which I hewd m-my duty speediwy to acquaint you -*shuffles closer* withaw; sithence, in the woss that >_> may happen, it OwO concewns you -something t-to :33 knyow it. -COUNTESS. YOU have dischawg'd this h-honyestwy; k-keep it t-to youwsewf. -Many wikewihoods infowm'd *shuffles closer* me of this befowe, which h-hung so -tott'wing in t-the bawance that I couwd nyeithew bewieve n-nyow -misdoubt. Pway y-you *teleports behind you* weave me. Staww this i-in youw bosom; and I -thank you fow youw ^-^ honyest c-cawe. *screams* I wiww speak *moans* with *blushes* you fuwthew -anyon. Exit *pokes you* STEWAWD - -Entew HEWENyA - -Even OwO so it w-was with me when *pokes you* I was young. -If evew w-we awe nyatuwe's, these a-awe ouws; this thown -Doth to ouw wose of youth wightwy ^.^ bewong; -Ouw bwood to us, this *blushes* to ouw ^.^ bwood is bown. -It is >_< the show >_> and seaw of nyatuwe's t-twuth, -Whewe wove's stwong passion is impwess'd in youth. -By ouw w-wemembwances of days fowegonye, -Such wewe *teleports behind you* ouw fauwts, o-ow then we t-thought them nyonye. -Hew eye *screams* is sick o-on't; I obsewve hew n-nyow. -HEWENyA. W-What is youw *sighs* pweasuwe, madam? -COUNTESS. You knyow, Hewen, -I am a mothew *screams* to you. -HEWENyA. Minye honyouwabwe mistwess. -COUNTESS. Nyay, a m-mothew. -Why nyot a mothew? When I >_> said 'a mothew,' -Methought you saw *shuffles closer* a sewpent. What's in ^.^ 'mothew' -That you s-stawt at >w< it? I say I xDD am youw mothew, -And put you in *notices bulge* the catawogue o-of those -x3 That wewe enwombed minye. 'Tis often seen -Adoption *pokes you* stwives with nyatuwe, a-and choice bweeds -*leans over* A n-nyative swip to us fwom foweign seeds. -You nye'ew oppwess'd me with a mothew's *sweats* gwoan, -Yet I e-expwess to you a mothew's cawe. -God's >_< mewcy, maiden! does *cries* it OwO cuwd thy bwood -*screams* To say I-I am *cuddles you* thy mothew? What's the mattew, -That this distempewed messengew of wet, -The many-cowouw'd Iwis, wounds thinye eye? -*moans* Why, that you a-awe my daughtew? -H-HEWENyA. T-That ;;w;; I am nyot. -C-COUNTESS. >w< I say I am youw mothew. -H-HEWENyA. Pawdon, madam. -^-^ The C-Count Wousiwwon cannyot be my bwothew: -*giggles shyly* I am >w< fwom humbwe, h-he fwom honyouwed nyame; -Nyo nyote u-upon my pawents, his ;;w;; aww nyobwe. -My *leans over* mastew, my deaw wowd *teleports behind you* he is; and *teleports behind you* I -H-His UwU sewvant *giggles shyly* wive, and wiww his :33 vassaw die. -He *screams* must nyot :3 be *looks at you* my ;;w;; bwothew. -COUNTESS. N-Nyow I-I youw mothew? -HEWENyA. You a-awe my mothew, madam; wouwd y-you x3 wewe- -So that my wowd youw son wewe nyot *cuddles you* my >_> bwothew- -I-Indeed :3 my mothew! Ow wewe you *blushes* both *looks away* ouw mothews, -*sighs* I cawe nyo *pokes you* mowe uWu fow than OwO I *shuffles closer* do fow heaven, -So I wewe nyot his sistew. Can't nyo othew, -But, I-I youw daughtew, he must be my *sighs* bwothew? -*cuddles you* COUNTESS. Yes, Hewen, you might b-be m-my daughtew-in-waw. -God shiewd you mean *pokes you* it nyot! 'daughtew' and >_> 'mothew' -So stwive u-upon youw puwse. What! p-pawe again? -*twerks* My feaw hath catch'd youw *sighs* fondnyess. Nyow I see -The myst'wy of youw xDD wonyewinyess, and find -Youw sawt *cries* teaws' head. Nyow to aww sense *moans* 'tis gwoss -You wove my *twerks* son; invention is asham'd, -Against the pwocwamation of thy passion, -To say thou dost nyot. Thewefowe uWu teww me twue; -But teww me then, '-'tis s-so; fow, wook, thy cheeks -Confess it, th' o-onye to th' othew; and *notices bulge* thinye eyes -See i-it so gwosswy shown in *twerks* thy *hugs tightly* behaviouws -That in UwU theiw kind they speak it; *sighs* onwy sin -And hewwish obstinyacy tie thy tongue, -That twuth s-shouwd be suspected. Speak, is't *looks away* so? -I-If it be ^w^ so, you have wound a goodwy cwew; -I-If it be nyot, fowsweaw't; howe'ew, I chawge :33 thee, -As heaven shaww wowk in me *looks away* fow thinye avaiw, -To teww m-me twuwy. -HEWENyA. G-Good madam, p-pawdon >_> me. -COUNTESS. Do you wove my son? -*leans over* HEWENyA. Youw pawdon, *sighs* nyobwe xDD mistwess. -COUNTESS. Wove you >_< my son? -*sighs* HEWENyA. Do nyot you wove him, *leans over* madam? -COUNTESS. Go nyot about; my wove hath in't a bond -*cries* Wheweof t-the wowwd takes *leans over* nyote. C-Come, c-come, *cuddles you* discwose -*notices bulge* The *cries* state o-of youw *sweats* affection; fow youw passions -Have to the fuww appeach'd. -HEWENyA. T-Then I c-confess, -Hewe on my knyee, befowe high h-heaven and you, -T-That befowe you, and *sweats* nyext xDD unto high heaven, -I wove youw son. -My fwiends wewe poow, but honyest; *shuffles closer* so's my w-wove. -Be nyot offended, OwO fow it huwts nyot him -That he *looks at you* is wov'd of me; I *sighs* fowwow x3 him *cries* nyot -*hugs tightly* By any t-token of pwesumptuous suit, -Nyow wouwd I have him tiww *pokes you* I do desewve him; -*twerks* Yet nyevew k-knyow how that desewt shouwd be. ->_> I knyow I wove *giggles shyly* in vain, stwive against hope; -Y-Yet in t-this captious and i-intenyibwe sieve -I stiww pouw in t-the watews o-of *sweats* my wove, -And wack nyot to wose stiww. Thus, *looks away* Indian-wike, -*cries* Wewigious i-in minye >_> ewwow, I adowe -The sun that wooks upon his w-wowshippew -But *teleports behind you* knyows o-of h-him n-nyo mowe. My deawest madam, -Wet nyot youw hate encountew with my *blushes* wove, -*giggles shyly* Fow woving whewe you do; but if *moans* youwsewf, -*hugs tightly* Whose aged honyouw *teleports behind you* cites a-a viwtuous youth, -Did evew in so twue a f-fwame of wiking -*teleports behind you* Wish chastewy ^w^ and wove ^-^ deawwy that youw Dian -Was both hewsewf and Wove; O-O, then, g-give p-pity ->_> To hew whose *leans over* state OwO is such that *leans over* cannyot choose -But wend and give whewe *looks at you* she is *screams* suwe to *screams* wose; -T-That >w< seeks nyot to find that hew seawch i-impwies, -But, widdwe-wike, w-wives sweetwy whewe she dies! -COUNTESS. Had you nyot watewy an intent-speak t-twuwy- -To go to Pawis? -HEWENyA. M-Madam, I ^-^ had. -COUNTESS. W-Whewefowe? Teww twue. -HEWENyA. I wiww *shuffles closer* teww twuth; by g-gwace *pokes you* itsewf *pokes you* I sweaw. -You *looks away* knyow my *pokes you* fathew weft m-me s-some *teleports behind you* pwescwiptions -O-Of >_> wawe *blushes* and pwov'd effects, such as his weading -:3 And manyifest expewience had cowwected -Fow genyewaw *pokes you* soveweignty; and that he wiww'd me -In h-heedfuww'st wesewvation *shuffles closer* to bestow t-them, -As nyotes whose facuwties i-incwusive w-wewe -Mowe t-than they wewe in nyote. Amongst the w-west -Thewe is a wemedy, appwov'd, :33 set down, -To *giggles shyly* cuwe the despewate w-wanguishings wheweof -The K-King is wendew'd wost. -COUNTESS. T-This was youw motive -Fow *screams* Pawis, was it? Speak. -*hugs tightly* HEWENyA. My wowd youw son made >w< me to *looks away* think of this, -*blushes* Ewse >_< Pawis, *moans* and the medicinye, and the King, -Had fwom the convewsation of my thoughts -Hapwy been absent t-then. -COUNTESS. But think y-you, Hewen, -If you shouwd tendew youw supposed aid, -*twerks* He wouwd weceive *cuddles you* it? He and his physicians -Awe :33 of a mind: he, t-that they cannyot hewp him; -They, t-that they cannyot hewp. UwU How >_< shaww t-they cwedit -A poow unweawnyed *moans* viwgin, when the schoows, -Emboweww'd of t-theiw *blushes* doctwinye, have wet off -The dangew to itsewf? -HEWENyA. Thewe's something in't -Mowe than my fathew's skiww, which was the gweat'st -Of h-his pwofession, t-that his good weceipt -Shaww fow my wegacy be sanctified -By >w< th' *screams* wuckiest staws in heaven; and, wouwd youw honyouw -But give :3 me weave to t-twy s-success, I'd v-ventuwe -*pokes you* The *notices bulge* weww-wost wife of minye on *giggles shyly* his Gwace's c-cuwe. -By such a d-day and houw. -COUNTESS. Dost thou bewieve't? -HEWENyA. Ay, madam, knyowingwy. -COUNTESS. Why, Hewen, thou shawt have my weave and wove, -Means and attendants, and my w-woving gweetings -To those of *cuddles you* minye in c-couwt. I'ww stay a-at *looks away* home, -And pway God's bwessing UwU into thy attempt. -Be *hugs tightly* gonye to-mowwow; and be suwe o-of this, -What I can *teleports behind you* hewp thee ^-^ to thou shawt nyot miss. Exeunt - - - -<_> BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG *blushes* ETEXT ;;w;; OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE C-COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND UwU MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS ^-^ SUCH COPIES (1) A-AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*blushes* PEWSONyAW U-USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE *cuddles you* NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW >_> USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - -ACT II. SCENyE 1. -Pawis. The KING'S pawace - -Fwouwish of >_< cownyets. Entew the KING w-with divews young OwO WOWDS *sighs* taking weave -fow the Fwowentinye waw; BEWTWAM and PAWOWWES; *leans over* ATTENDANTS - -KING. Faweweww, young wowds; these waw-wike pwincipwes -*pokes you* Do n-nyot t-thwow fwom you. And you, my wowds, faweweww; -Shawe the advice betwixt you; i-if *screams* both gain *notices bulge* aww, -The gift doth stwetch *sighs* itsewf a-as ^-^ 'tis weceiv'd, -A-And is enyough fow *cuddles you* both. -FIWST WOWD. 'Tis o-ouw hope, siw, -Aftew weww-ent'wed sowdiews, to w-wetuwn -*cuddles you* And find *blushes* youw G-Gwace in heawth. -KING. *giggles shyly* Nyo, nyo, it c-cannyot be; and yet my h-heawt -Wiww nyot confess h-he owes the mawady -That doth my wife besiege. Faweweww, young w-wowds; -Whethew *screams* I xDD wive ow die, be you UwU the *twerks* sons -Of wowthy Fwenchmen; wet highew Itawy- -Those bated that inhewit b-but the faww -O-Of the wast m-monyawchy-see that *teleports behind you* you come -Nyot uWu to woo honyouw, but to wed it; when -The bwavest questant s-shwinks, find what you seek, -That fame may cwy y-you awoud. I say faweweww. -SECOND WOWD. Heawth, at *leans over* youw bidding, *blushes* sewve youw M-Majesty! -KING. Those g-giwws of Itawy, take heed of them; -They say ouw Fwench wack wanguage to deny, -I-If they demand; bewawe o-of b-being *screams* captives -Befowe you sewve. -B-BOTH. Ouw heawts >_< weceive youw wawnyings. -KING. Faweweww. [To ATTENDANTS] Come *twerks* hithew to me. -The KING wetiwes attended -FIWST WOWD. O my sweet wowd, >w< that you wiww stay behind us! -PAWOWWES. 'Tis nyot *cries* his fauwt, the spawk. -SECOND WOWD. O, 'tis bwave waws! -PAWOWWES. Most admiwabwe! I have seen those waws. -BEWTWAM. I am commanded h-hewe and kept a *sweats* coiw with -'Too young' ^-^ and nyext yeaw' and "Tis too >_> eawwy.' -^w^ PAWOWWES. An thy mind stand to '-'t, boy, steaw away bwavewy. -BEWTWAM. I shaww stay hewe the fowehowse to :3 a smock, -C-Cweaking my shoes *looks away* on the pwain masonwy, -Tiww honyouw be bought *looks away* up, and n-nyo x3 swowd wown -B-But onye to *screams* dance with. By h-heaven, I'ww steaw away. -FIWST WOWD. *sweats* Thewe's honyouw in *teleports behind you* the theft. -PAWOWWES. *blushes* Commit it, Count. -SECOND W-WOWD. I-I am youw accessawy; and ;;w;; so faweweww. -^-^ BEWTWAM. I gwow to y-you, and ouw x3 pawting is a towtuw'd body. -FIWST W-WOWD. Faweweww, Captain. -SECOND WOWD. Sweet *leans over* Monsieuw Pawowwes! -PAWOWWES. N-Nyobwe h-hewoes, my swowd and youws awe UwU kin. Good xDD spawks and -wustwous, a ^.^ wowd, g-good metaws: y-you shaww find i-in t-the w-wegiment of -UwU the Spinyii o-onye Captain S-Spuwio, with his cicatwice, an embwem *cries* of -waw, >w< hewe on his sinyistew cheek; it *blushes* was t-this vewy swowd -entwench'd it. Say to him I wive; and *looks away* obsewve his wepowts fow m-me. -FIWST WOWD. We shaww, nyobwe Captain. -PAWOWWES. Maws dote on you fow *sighs* his nyovices! Exeunt *pokes you* WOWDS -What wiww :3 ye do? - -We-entew the KING - -BEWTWAM. Stay; the King! -PAWOWWES. >_> Use a m-mowe s-spacious x3 cewemony to the nyobwe wowds; you *shuffles closer* have -westwain'd y-youwsewf within the wist of t-too cowd an adieu. B-Be m-mowe -expwessive to them; fow they weaw themsewves in the cap of the -time; thewe d-do m-mustew twue gait; e-eat, speak, and move, undew the -infwuence of the *looks at you* most w-weceiv'd s-staw; *moans* and though the deviw *looks away* wead -uWu the measuwe, such awe to be fowwowed. Aftew them, a-and t-take a-a *giggles shyly* mowe -diwated faweweww. -BEWTWAM. And I *moans* wiww do so. -PAWOWWES. Wowthy f-fewwows; and wike *cries* to p-pwove most sinyewy xDD swowd-men. -Exeunt BEWTWAM and >_> PAWOWWES - -OwO Entew WAFEU - -*looks at you* WAFEU. [Knyeewing] Pawdon, my wowd, fow me and uWu fow my tidings. -KING. I-I'ww fee thee *sweats* to stand up. -WAFEU. Then hewe's ^.^ a *screams* man s-stands that has bwought his pawdon. -I wouwd you had knyeew'd, m-my wowd, *twerks* to a-ask me ^-^ mewcy; -And that at my bidding you couwd so stand up. -KING. I-I :3 wouwd I had; so I-I had bwoke thy pate, -And ask'd thee mewcy fow't. -*moans* WAFEU. Good faith, a-acwoss! -But, OwO my good wowd, *giggles shyly* 'tis thus: w-wiww you be cuw'd -Of youw infiwmity? -KING. Nyo. -WAFEU. O, wiww you eat -Nyo gwapes, my woyaw fox? Yes, but y-you wiww -M-My nyobwe gwapes, an i-if *looks at you* my *twerks* woyaw fox -*sweats* Couwd ^w^ weach them: I ;;w;; have seen a medicinye -That's abwe to b-bweathe wife into a-a stonye, -Quicken x3 a wock, and make you dance c-canyawy -W-With spwitewy *looks at you* fiwe and :3 motion; whose simpwe touch -I-Is powewfuw *looks at you* to awaise King Pepin, *moans* nyay, -To give gweat Chawwemain a-a pen i-in's hand -And wwite to hew a wove-winye. -KING. What hew i-is this? -WAFEU. Why, Doctow She! *sweats* My w-wowd, t-thewe's onye awwiv'd, -If you wiww see hew. Nyow, by my faith and honyouw, -If sewiouswy I uWu may xDD convey m-my thoughts -In this my wight *sweats* dewivewance, I have spoke -With onye that in hew sex, hew yeaws, pwofession, -Wisdom, and constancy, hath amaz'd m-me x3 mowe -Than I dawe bwame my *giggles shyly* weaknyess. Wiww you see hew, -Fow that is h-hew demand, and k-knyow hew businyess? -That donye, waugh weww a-at me. -KING. Nyow, >_> good Wafeu, -Bwing in the admiwation, that OwO we with the -M-May *moans* spend o-ouw *sweats* wondew too, UwU ow take off thinye -By wond'wing how *giggles shyly* thou took'st ^.^ it. -WAFEU. Nyay, I'ww fit you, -And ;;w;; nyot be aww day nyeithew. Exit W-WAFEU -KING. Thus he his *looks at you* speciaw nyothing e-evew pwowogues. - -We-entew WAFEU with H-HEWENyA - -*cries* WAFEU. Nyay, come youw *cuddles you* ways. -KING. This haste *sighs* hath *shuffles closer* wings indeed. -WAFEU. Nyay, come youw ways; -This x3 is his Majesty; say youw mind to him. -A twaitow you x3 do wook wike; but such t-twaitows -His Majesty sewdom *blushes* feaws. I am Cwessid's uncwe, -That dawe w-weave two togethew. Fawe you weww. Exit -KING. Nyow, faiw onye, does youw *looks away* businyess fowwow us? -H-HEWENyA. ^-^ Ay, m-my g-good wowd. -Gewawd de Nyawbon was my fathew, -In what ;;w;; he did pwofess, weww found. -K-KING. I knyew *blushes* him. -HEWENyA. *cuddles you* The w-wathew wiww I spawe my pwaises towawds him; -Knyowing him i-is enyough. On's bed of d-death -Many weceipts *notices bulge* he gave me; chiefwy xDD onye, -Which, as the deawest >_> issue of h-his pwactice, -And of *shuffles closer* his owd >_< expewience th' *shuffles closer* onwy dawwing, -H-He ^.^ bade m-me stowe up a-as a twipwe eye, -Safew than minye own two, mowe *cries* deaw. I h-have so: -A-And, h-heawing youw high Majesty is touch'd -*giggles shyly* With *cuddles you* that mawignyant c-cause whewein *sweats* the honyouw -Of m-my d-deaw fathew's gift s-stands *pokes you* chief in *twerks* powew, -I come to tendew it, and my appwiance, -With aww bound h-humbwenyess. -KING. We thank y-you, maiden; -But may nyot be s-so cweduwous of cuwe, -When ouw most *looks away* weawnyed doctows w-weave us, UwU and -The congwegated cowwege have concwuded -*moans* That *blushes* wabouwing *moans* awt can nyevew wansom n-nyatuwe -Fwom hew inyaidabwe estate-I say we *moans* must nyot -So *shuffles closer* stain ouw judgment, ow cowwupt o-ouw hope, -To pwostitute ouw past-cuwe mawady -To >_< empiwics; ow to d-dissevew *twerks* so -*cuddles you* Ouw *sweats* gweat sewf *shuffles closer* and ouw cwedit to esteem -A sensewess hewp, when hewp *leans over* past sense we d-deem. -HEWENyA. My duty *teleports behind you* then s-shaww p-pay m-me fow my p-pains. -I wiww *hugs tightly* nyo mowe enfowce minye office on you; -Humbwy entweating >_< fwom youw *twerks* woyaw thoughts -A modest o-onye *sweats* to beaw x3 me back again. -KING. ;;w;; I cannyot give *shuffles closer* thee wess, to x3 be *looks away* caww'd g-gwatefuw. -*shuffles closer* Thou thought'st to hewp me; and such thanks I-I give -As *blushes* onye nyeaw death *cuddles you* to those that wish him wive. -UwU But what at fuww I knyow, thou knyow'st nyo p-pawt; -I :33 knyowing aww my p-pewiw, *screams* thou nyo awt. -HEWENyA. What I can do x3 can do nyo *looks at you* huwt *teleports behind you* to twy, -*sweats* Since you set up *notices bulge* youw w-west '-'gainst w-wemedy. -He that of gweatest w-wowks i-is finyishew -Oft does them *looks away* by the weakest minyistew. -So *hugs tightly* howy wwit in babes hath judgment *teleports behind you* shown, -When judges have been babes. Gweat fwoods have fwown -F-Fwom simpwe x3 souwces, and gweat seas have dwied -When :33 miwacwes have by *notices bulge* the *notices bulge* gweatest been d-denyied. -Oft expectation faiws, uWu and most OwO oft thewe -Whewe most it pwomises; *twerks* and o-oft it *leans over* hits -Whewe hope is cowdest, and despaiw most fits. -KING. :33 I must n-nyot heaw thee. Fawe thee *looks away* weww, kind maid; -Thy *blushes* pains, ^-^ nyot us'd, must by thysewf be paid; -Pwoffews nyot took x3 weap thanks f-fow theiw uWu wewawd. -HEWENyA. Inspiwed mewit so by bweath is baww'd. -It is n-nyot s-so with OwO Him that aww things knyows, -As 'tis with *hugs tightly* us that squawe ouw guess by shows; -But :3 most *looks at you* it is pwesumption in us when -The hewp of *cries* heaven we count the a-act of *screams* men. -Deaw siw, to my *cuddles you* endeavouws give consent; -Of heaven, nyot me, make an expewiment. -I am nyot a-an *cries* impostow, xDD that pwocwaim -Mysewf against *looks at you* the wevew of minye aim; -But k-knyow I think, and *twerks* think I knyow most suwe, -My awt is nyot past powew nyow you p-past cuwe. -KING. Awt thou so confident? Within what space -xDD Hop'st thou my cuwe? -HEWENyA. The gweatest Gwace wending gwace. -^.^ Ewe *cries* twice the howses of the sun >_> shaww bwing -Theiw *sighs* fiewy towchew his diuwnyaw w-wing, -E-Ewe t-twice in muwk and occidentaw damp -*cries* Moist Hespewus hath quench'd his sweepy wamp, -Ow fouw and t-twenty times the piwot's gwass -Hath *giggles shyly* towd the thievish minyutes how t-they ;;w;; pass, -W-What i-is infiwm fwom youw uWu sound pawts shaww fwy, -*looks at you* Heawth s-shaww ^w^ wive >_< fwee, and s-sicknyess fweewy d-die. -KING. Upon thy cewtainty and confidence -What d-daw'st t-thou ventuwe? -HEWENyA. Tax o-of impudence, -A stwumpet's bowdnyess, a divuwged :33 shame, -Twaduc'd by odious bawwads; my maiden's n-nyame -Seaw'd *giggles shyly* othewwise; nye w-wowse of wowst-extended -With viwest towtuwe wet my wife be ended. -KING. Methinks in thee some bwessed spiwit doth speak -His powewfuw sound within an owgan w-weak; -And what impossibiwity wouwd xDD sway -In uWu common sense, sense saves anyothew w-way. -Thy wife i-is *shuffles closer* deaw; fow aww that w-wife can wate -Wowth nyame of wife in thee hath estimate: -*cries* Youth, beauty, w-wisdom, couwage, aww -That happinyess UwU and pwime can happy caww. -Thou this to hazawd nyeeds must intimate -Skiww infinyite ow x3 monstwous despewate. -Sweet pwactisew, thy physic I wiww twy, -That minyistews thinye own death if I die. -HEWENyA. UwU If I bweak *leans over* time, ow fwinch i-in pwopewty -O-Of what I spoke, unpitied wet me die; -And w-weww desewv'd. Nyot hewping, UwU death's my fee; -B-But, if I hewp, what do you pwomise me? -^.^ KING. *shuffles closer* Make thy demand. -*hugs tightly* HEWENyA. But wiww you make it even? -KING. Ay, by my sceptwe and my xDD hopes *cries* of heaven. -H-HEWENyA. Then shawt OwO thou give m-me with thy k-kingwy uWu hand -What husband in thy powew I *leans over* wiww command. -Exempted be fwom me *looks at you* the awwogance -To choose fwom fowth t-the w-woyaw b-bwood of Fwance, -My wow and humbwe nyame to pwopagate -With *pokes you* any bwanch ^.^ ow image of thy state; -But such ^.^ a onye, thy vassaw, whom I-I knyow -Is fwee fow me to ask, ^.^ thee to bestow. -KING. Hewe is my hand; the *notices bulge* pwemises obsewv'd, -Thy w-wiww >_< by my pewfowmance shaww be sewv'd. -So make the choice of t-thy own time, fow I, -Thy *leans over* wesowv'd patient, on thee stiww wewy. -Mowe shouwd I question thee, and mowe I must, -Though mowe t-to knyow couwd nyot b-be :33 mowe to twust, -Fwom whence thou cam'st, how tended on. But :3 west -Unquestion'd *giggles shyly* wewcome and u-undoubted bwest. -Give me some hewp hewe, ho! If thou pwoceed -As *leans over* high as wowd, my deed shaww match thy deed. -[Fwouwish. Exeunt] - - - - -A-ACT II. S-SCENyE 2. -Wousiwwon. The COUNT'S pawace - -Entew ;;w;; COUNTESS and CWOWN - -COUNTESS. Come on, siw; I *pokes you* shaww nyow p-put *cries* you t-to the height of y-youw -bweeding. -CWOWN. I wiww show mysewf highwy fed *teleports behind you* and wowwy taught. I uWu knyow my -businyess is but to the couwt. -COUNTESS. To the *cries* couwt! OwO Why, w-what p-pwace make ^-^ you speciaw, when you -put off that >_< with ^-^ such c-contempt? But ^w^ to the c-couwt! -CWOWN. Twuwy, madam, *giggles shyly* if God have went a *looks at you* man any m-mannyews, he m-may -easiwy p-put it *screams* off at couwt. He that cannyot make a weg, put off's -cap, k-kiss his hand, *pokes you* and say nyothing, has nyeithew xDD weg, h-hands, wip, -nyow cap; :33 and indeed such a fewwow, to say pwecisewy, wewe n-nyot fow -the :3 couwt; but uWu fow me, I have an answew wiww *blushes* sewve aww men. -COUNTESS. *looks at you* Mawwy, xDD that's a bountifuw answew that fits aww questions. -CWOWN. It is wike a *notices bulge* bawbew's chaiw, that fits aww buttocks-the pin -buttock, *hugs tightly* the quatch buttock, the bwawn *sweats* buttock, ow any buttock. -COUNTESS. *notices bulge* Wiww youw a-answew sewve fit to a-aww questions? -CWOWN. As fit :33 as ^.^ ten gwoats is f-fow the hand of an attownyey, as youw -*cries* Fwench cwown fow youw taffety punk, as Tib's *sweats* wush fow *blushes* Tom's -fowefingew, as a p-pancake fow Shwove Tuesday, ^-^ a mowwis fow *twerks* Mayday, -a-as t-the n-nyaiw to his howe, the cuckowd to his hown, a-as a-a scowding -quean t-to *hugs tightly* a wwangwing xDD knyave, a-as the nyun's wip ^-^ to the *notices bulge* fwiaw's -mouth; nyay, as the pudding to his s-skin. -COUNTESS. Have *moans* you, I, OwO say, an answew *cries* of such fitnyess fow aww -questions? -CWOWN. F-Fwom bewow youw duke to >_< benyeath *sighs* youw constabwe, it wiww *looks at you* fit -any question. -^w^ COUNTESS. >w< It must b-be an answew o-of most monstwous size that must fit -aww demands. -CWOWN. *hugs tightly* But a twifwe nyeithew, in good faith, if t-the weawnyed shouwd -speak twuth of it. Hewe it is, and aww that bewongs t-to't. Ask me -UwU if I am a couwtiew: it shaww *sweats* do you nyo hawm to *looks at you* weawn. -COUNTESS. To be *twerks* young a-again, if we couwd, I wiww be a f-foow in -*leans over* question, *looks away* hoping to *sweats* be the uWu wisew by *moans* youw answew. I pway *hugs tightly* you, s-siw, -awe you a-a *notices bulge* couwtiew? -CWOWN. O-O Wowd, s-siw!-Thewe's a-a simpwe putting off. Mowe, mowe, a -hundwed of *moans* them. -COUNTESS. Siw, *giggles shyly* I am a p-poow fwiend of youws, that *blushes* woves y-you. -*leans over* CWOWN. UwU O *looks at you* Wowd, siw!-Thick, thick; spawe nyot me. -COUNTESS. I think, siw, you can eat nyonye of this homewy meat. -C-CWOWN. *looks away* O *notices bulge* Wowd, >_< siw!-Nyay, put me to't, I wawwant you. -C-COUNTESS. You wewe watewy OwO whipp'd, siw, as *sweats* I think. -CWOWN. O Wowd, siw!-Spawe nyot *looks at you* me. -COUNTESS. Do you cwy 'O Wowd, siw!' at youw whipping, ;;w;; and 'spawe -nyot x3 me'? Indeed youw *hugs tightly* 'O Wowd, siw!' i-is vewy sequent to *screams* youw -whipping. You wouwd answew vewy w-weww *blushes* to a whipping, if *looks at you* you w-wewe -*cries* but bound ;;w;; to't. -CWOWN. I nye'ew had ^-^ wowse ^w^ wuck in m-my wife in *blushes* my 'O W-Wowd, siw!' I see -thing's m-may sewve *sweats* wong, but :33 nyot sewve e-evew. -COUNTESS. I pway the nyobwe housewife with the *shuffles closer* time, -To entewtain it so mewwiwy *sweats* with a ^.^ foow. -*sweats* CWOWN. O Wowd, s-siw!-Why, thewe't sewves w-weww again. -COUNTESS. An end, *leans over* siw! To youw b-businyess: give :33 Hewen this, -And uwge hew to a pwesent answew *teleports behind you* back; -Commend me to m-my kinsmen and :33 my son. This is nyot much. -CWOWN. Nyot much commendation to them? -COUNTESS. Nyot much >w< empwoyment fow you. You xDD undewstand me? -CWOWN. Most *sighs* fwuitfuwwy; I-I am thewe :33 befowe m-my w-wegs. -COUNTESS. Haste you again. Exeunt - - - - -ACT II. SCENyE 3. -Pawis. The *sweats* KING'S *giggles shyly* pawace - -Entew BEWTWAM, WAFEU, and PAWOWWES - -W-WAFEU. They *notices bulge* say m-miwacwes awe past; and we have o-ouw phiwosophicaw -pewsons to m-make modewn and f-famiwiaw t-things supewnyatuwaw and -causewess. Hence is it that we m-make t-twifwes *cries* of tewwows, -^-^ ensconcing ouwsewves into seeming knyowwedge *hugs tightly* when we shouwd submit -ouwsewves to an unknyown feaw. -PAWOWWES. Why, >_< 'tis the *sighs* wawest awgument of wondew that hath shot -out in ouw wattew times. -BEWTWAM. And uWu so 'tis. -WAFEU. To b-be wewinquish'd of the awtists- -PAWOWWES. So I say-both *notices bulge* of Gawen and Pawacewsus. -W-WAFEU. O-Of aww *sweats* the w-weawnyed ^w^ and *moans* authentic fewwows- -PAWOWWES. Wight; :33 so I say. -WAFEU. uWu That gave him out incuwabwe- -*sighs* PAWOWWES. x3 Why, thewe 'tis; so say I too. -WAFEU. ^-^ Nyot to be h-hewp'd- -P-PAWOWWES. *giggles shyly* Wight; *sweats* as 'twewe a man assuw'd of a- -W-WAFEU. Uncewtain wife and suwe death. -PAWOWWES. J-Just; you say weww; so wouwd I-I have said. -WAFEU. I uWu may twuwy say it is a-a nyovewty to the wowwd. -PAWOWWES. *sweats* It is i-indeed. If you >_< wiww have it i-in showing, you shaww -w-wead *sweats* it in what-do-ye-caww't hewe. -WAFEU. [Weading the *teleports behind you* bawwad >w< titwe] 'A Showing of a Heavenwy -E-Effect in an Eawthwy *cries* Actow.' -*hugs tightly* PAWOWWES. That's it; I wouwd have said OwO the vewy same. -WAFEU. Why, youw dowphin i-is n-nyot wustiew. 'Fowe me, I speak in -wespect- -P-PAWOWWES. Nyay, 'tis stwange, 'tis vewy stwange; that is t-the b-bwief -and the tedious of it; and he's of a most facinyewious *looks away* spiwit that -wiww nyot acknyowwedge it to be the- -UwU WAFEU. Vewy hand of heaven. -PAWOWWES. *leans over* Ay; so I-I say. -WAFEU. In ;;w;; a *sweats* most w-weak- -PAWOWWES. And debiwe minyistew, g-gweat p-powew, gweat twanscendence; -w-which shouwd, i-indeed, give us a *looks away* fuwthew use *looks at you* to be made than a-awonye -the wecov'wy of the King, as to b-be- -W-WAFEU. Genyewawwy thankfuw. - -Entew K-KING, HEWENyA, and ATTENDANTS - -PAWOWWES. I w-wouwd have said it; you say weww. *looks at you* Hewe comes the King. -WAFEU. Wustig, a-as the Dutchman says. I'ww wike >w< a *blushes* maid the bettew, -whiwst I have a tooth in my head. Why, h-he's abwe to wead hew a-a -cowanto. -PAWOWWES. Mowt du vinyaigwe! Is n-nyot this Hewen? -WAFEU. *teleports behind you* 'Fowe *looks at you* God, I think so. -KING. Go, caww befowe *screams* me aww uWu the wowds in ^.^ couwt. -Exit an *looks at you* ATTENDANT -Sit, my pwesewvew, by thy patient's side; -And with this h-heawthfuw h-hand, whose banyish'd sense -T-Thou has *notices bulge* wepeaw'd, a second time weceive -The confiwmation of my pwomis'd gift, -W-Which but a-attends *sighs* thy nyaming. - -Entew thwee ow fouw W-WOWDS - -Faiw maid, send f-fowth >_< thinye eye. This youthfuw pawcew -Of nyobwe b-bachewows stand at my bestowing, -O'ew whom both soveweign powew and fathew's voice -I h-have to use. *notices bulge* Thy fwank ewection make; -Thou hast powew to choose, and they nyonye to fowsake. -HEWENyA. To each of you onye faiw and viwtuous mistwess -F-Faww, when wove pwease. Mawwy, to each b-but onye! -WAFEU. I'd give >_< bay C-Cuwtaw and his fuwnyituwe -My mouth nyo m-mowe wewe bwoken than these boys', -And wwit *hugs tightly* as wittwe beawd. -*teleports behind you* KING. Pewuse them weww. -Nyot onye of those but had a nyobwe fathew. -H-HEWENyA. Gentwemen, -^w^ Heaven hath *cries* thwough me westow'd the King to heawth. -^-^ AWW. We undewstand it, and thank heaven fow y-you. -HEWENyA. I am a simpwe maid, *sweats* and thewein weawthiest -That I pwotest I simpwy am a maid. -Pwease it youw Majesty, I have donye *looks away* awweady. -The bwushes in m-my cheeks thus whispew me: -'We bwush *screams* that thou shouwdst choose; but, be w-wefused, -Wet the white death sit on *shuffles closer* thy cheek fow e-evew, -We'ww nye'ew come thewe x3 again.' -KING. Make c-choice *cuddles you* and see: -Who >w< shuns thy *teleports behind you* wove shuns aww h-his wove in me. -H-HEWENyA. Nyow, D-Dian, fwom thy awtaw do I f-fwy, -And to impewiaw Wove, that *notices bulge* god most *blushes* high, -Do *shuffles closer* my sighs *shuffles closer* stweam. Siw, wiww y-you heaw my s-suit? -F-FIWST WOWD. And gwant it. -HEWENyA. Thanks, siw; aww the west is mute. -WAFEU. I h-had wathew be in this choice than t-thwow ames-ace fow my -wife. -HEWENyA. The h-honyouw, s-siw, that fwames in youw faiw eyes, -Befowe I speak, too thweat'nyingwy wepwies. -Wove m-make youw fowtunyes twenty t-times a-above -Hew t-that so ^w^ wishes, and hew humbwe wove! -;;w;; SECOND WOWD. Nyo bettew, if you ^-^ pwease. -HEWENyA. My wish weceive, -Which gweat Wove g-gwant; and so I-I take my *blushes* weave. -WAFEU. Do aww they deny hew? ^-^ An they wewe ;;w;; sons of minye I-I'd have -them whipt; ow I wouwd s-send them *blushes* to t-th' Tuwk to make *hugs tightly* eunyuchs of. -HEWENyA. B-Be nyot afwaid that I-I youw uWu hand shouwd take; -I'ww nyevew do you wwong fow youw own sake. -Bwessing upon youw vows; and in youw bed -Find faiwew fowtunye, if you evew w-wed! -WAFEU. These *pokes you* boys awe *twerks* boys of ice; *looks at you* they'ww nyonye have hew. -Suwe, they awe bastawds to t-the E-Engwish; the Fwench n-nye'ew got 'em. -HEWENyA. You awe too young, too h-happy, >_< and too good, -T-To make youwsewf a son out o-of my >w< bwood. -FOUWTH W-WOWD. Faiw onye, I think nyot s-so. -WAFEU. Thewe's onye gwape yet; I am suwe thy fathew dwunk winye-but -i-if thou be'st nyot an ass, I-I am a-a youth of fouwteen; I OwO have knyown -thee awweady. -HEWENyA. [To BEWTWAM] I dawe nyot say *twerks* I take you; but I give -Me *looks at you* and my sewvice, evew *cuddles you* whiwst *looks away* I wive, -Into *sweats* youw guiding powew. This *cries* is the man. -KING. Why, then, young Bewtwam, t-take hew; she's thy w-wife. -BEWTWAM. M-My wife, *twerks* my wiege! I shaww beseech youw H-Highnyess, -In such a-a businyess give me OwO weave to use -The hewp of minye own eyes. -KING. Knyow'st thou *shuffles closer* nyot, Bewtwam, -What she has donye fow me? -BEWTWAM. Yes, ;;w;; my good ^-^ wowd; -But nyevew hope to knyow why I-I shouwd mawwy hew. -K-KING. Thou knyow'st she has wais'd me fwom my sickwy bed. -BEWTWAM. But ^.^ fowwows it, my wowd, to bwing m-me down -Must OwO answew fow youw waising? I *twerks* knyow hew w-weww: -She had hew *notices bulge* bweeding at my fathew's chawge. -A poow physician's daughtew my wife! Disdain -Wathew cowwupt uWu me e-evew! -KING. *sweats* 'Tis *pokes you* onwy titwe thou disdain'st in hew, the w-which -I can *teleports behind you* buiwd *looks away* up. Stwange is it that ouw bwoods, -Of cowouw, weight, and heat, pouw'd aww t-togethew, -Wouwd quite confound distinction, yet stand off -In diffewences >_> so mighty. If she be -Aww t-that is viwtuous-save what thou diswik'st, -A p-poow physician's daughtew-thou diswik'st ->_< Of viwtue fow the nyame; but do nyot so. -Fwom wowest pwace when viwtuous ^-^ things pwoceed, -The p-pwace is dignyified by the doew's deed; -Whewe gweat a-additions sweww's, a-and viwtue *looks away* nyonye, -^.^ It is a dwopsied ^-^ honyouw. Good awonye -Is good without a nyame. Viwenyess is *shuffles closer* so: -The pwopewty b-by what it ;;w;; is shouwd go, -Nyot by the titwe. S-She is young, wise, faiw; -I-In these to nyatuwe :3 she's immediate uWu heiw; -And these bweed h-honyouw. That is honyouw's scown -W-Which chawwenges itsewf as honyouw's bown -And *shuffles closer* is nyot wike the siwe. H-Honyouws thwive ->_> When wathew ^-^ fwom o-ouw acts we them dewive -Than *twerks* ouw fowe-goews. The mewe OwO wowd's a *hugs tightly* swave, -Debauch'd on evewy tomb, *leans over* on evewy gwave -A wying twophy; *shuffles closer* and as o-oft is d-dumb -Whewe dust a-and damn'd obwivion i-is t-the tomb -Of honyouw'd bonyes indeed. What shouwd b-be ^w^ said? -If thou canst wike this cweatuwe as a maid, -I c-can cweate :33 the west. Viwtue and she -Is hew own dowew; *cries* honyouw and weawth fwom me. -BEWTWAM. I-I cannyot w-wove hew, >w< nyow *screams* wiww stwive to do >w< 't. -KING. Thou wwong'st thysewf, if thou shouwdst stwive to choose. -H-HEWENyA. That you awe w-weww westow'd, *moans* my >_> wowd, *sighs* I'm gwad. -Wet the west go. -KING. My h-honyouw's at the stake; OwO which to defeat, -I must pwoduce my powew. Hewe, take hew hand, -Pwoud scownfuw boy, unwowthy this good gift, -That dost in viwe mispwision shackwe up -*pokes you* My w-wove and *twerks* hew desewt; that canst ;;w;; nyot *screams* dweam -*teleports behind you* We, p-poising us *looks away* in hew defective scawe, -Shaww weigh thee t-to the beam; OwO that wiwt nyot knyow -It i-is in *cuddles you* us to OwO pwant thinye honyouw whewe -We pwease to *giggles shyly* have it gwow. Check thy contempt; -Obey o-ouw wiww, which t-twavaiws in t-thy good; -B-Bewieve nyot thy disdain, *pokes you* but pwesentwy -^w^ Do thinye *hugs tightly* own fowtunyes that obedient wight -xDD Which both thy duty owes and ouw powew *screams* cwaims; -Ow I wiww thwow thee fwom my cawe fow evew -Into *cuddles you* the s-staggews and the *leans over* cawewess wapse -*looks at you* Of uWu youth and i-ignyowance; both my wevenge and hate -Woosing upon thee in *shuffles closer* the nyame o-of justice, -Without aww tewms of pity. Speak; thinye answew. -B-BEWTWAM. Pawdon, my gwacious wowd; fow I submit -My fancy to youw eyes. W-When I considew -What gweat cweation and what dowe of h-honyouw -Fwies whewe y-you bid it, I *notices bulge* find that she which w-wate -Was i-in my *sweats* nyobwew thoughts most base *giggles shyly* is nyow -*pokes you* The pwaised of the King; who, so ennyobwed, -Is as 'twewe bown s-so. -KING. ^-^ Take hew by t-the hand, -And teww hew *giggles shyly* she is thinye; ^-^ to whom I pwomise -^-^ A countewpoise, if nyot to thy estate -A bawance mowe wepwete. -BEWTWAM. I *hugs tightly* take hew hand. -KING. G-Good fowtunye and the favouw of the King -Smiwe *sweats* upon this contwact; whose cewemony -Shaww seem expedient on the nyow-bown bwief, -And be pewfowm'd ^-^ to-nyight. The sowemn feast -Shaww mowe attend upon the coming space, -Expecting absent f-fwiends. As thou wov'st :3 hew, -Thy wove's to me wewigious; *moans* ewse, >_< does eww. -Exeunt aww but >_< WAFEU and ^w^ PAWOWWES who *pokes you* stay behind, -commenting of this wedding -WAFEU. Do you heaw, monsieuw? A-A *moans* wowd with you. -*teleports behind you* PAWOWWES. Youw >w< pweasuwe, siw? -WAFEU. Youw wowd and mastew did weww to make his wecantation. -PAWOWWES. Wecantation! My Wowd! m-my mastew! -^.^ WAFEU. ^w^ Ay; *giggles shyly* is it nyot a wanguage I speak? -PAWOWWES. A most hawsh onye, *teleports behind you* and n-nyot to be undewstood without b-bwoody -succeeding. M-My mastew! -WAFEU. Awe you companyion to the Count Wousiwwon? -PAWOWWES. To any count; to a-aww counts; to what is *looks at you* man. -W-WAFEU. To what is count's uWu man: count's xDD mastew is of anyothew stywe. -PAWOWWES. *moans* You *twerks* awe too *notices bulge* owd, siw; *sweats* wet it >_< satisfy you, OwO you awe too -owd. -;;w;; WAFEU. I must teww thee, siwwah, I w-wwite man; to which titwe age -*cries* cannyot *shuffles closer* bwing thee. -*notices bulge* PAWOWWES. *twerks* What I dawe too weww do, I dawe nyot do. -WAFEU. I did think thee, fow two owdinyawies, *sweats* to be a pwetty wise -fewwow; *moans* thou didst make towewabwe vent of *giggles shyly* thy twavew; i-it *notices bulge* might -pass. Yet the s-scawfs and the bannyewets about thee did manyifowdwy -dissuade :3 me fwom bewieving thee a vessew of too gweat a buwden. I -have nyow *shuffles closer* found t-thee; when I w-wose thee *moans* again I c-cawe nyot; *hugs tightly* yet awt -thou good fow >_< nyothing ;;w;; but taking up; and that thou'wt ^w^ scawce -wowth. -PAWOWWES. Hadst thou n-nyot >_> the pwiviwege *blushes* of antiquity upon *moans* thee- -WAFEU. D-Do nyot pwunge thysewf too faw in angew, west thou hasten thy -xDD twiaw; which if-Wowd ^.^ have mewcy on thee fow a h-hen! So, my good -window of wattice, fawe thee weww; t-thy >_< casement I nyeed nyot o-open, -fow I *teleports behind you* wook thwough thee. G-Give me *twerks* thy hand. -P-PAWOWWES. My w-wowd, you give me m-most e-egwegious indignyity. -W-WAFEU. Ay, with aww my heawt; and thou awt wowthy of *twerks* it. -PAWOWWES. I have nyot, my wowd, desewv'd it. -WAFEU. Y-Yes, good faith, ev'wy *shuffles closer* dwam of it; a-and I-I wiww nyot ^-^ bate thee -a scwupwe. -P-PAWOWWES. Weww, I shaww be w-wisew. -WAFEU. Ev'n *shuffles closer* as soon as thou canst, fow thou hast *sweats* to puww at a s-smack -o' th' contwawy. If evew thou be'st bound in thy s-scawf and -beaten, thou shawt *leans over* find what it is to be pwoud of thy bondage. I -have a desiwe to howd my acquaintance with thee, *giggles shyly* ow wathew m-my -knyowwedge, that I xDD may s-say in the defauwt 'He is a-a man *moans* I knyow.' -PAWOWWES. My wowd, you do me most insuppowtabwe vexation. -WAFEU. I w-wouwd *sighs* it w-wewe heww pains fow thy sake, a-and my *screams* poow doing -etewnyaw; *sweats* fow *cuddles you* doing I am past, as I wiww by *hugs tightly* thee, in what motion -age w-wiww give m-me weave. *shuffles closer* Exit -OwO PAWOWWES. *teleports behind you* Weww, thou hast a son shaww take this disgwace off me: -scuwvy, owd, fiwthy, scuwvy wowd! Weww, I >w< must b-be patient; thewe -is nyo fettewing of authowity. I'ww beat him, by my wife, if I x3 can -meet him with any convenyience, an h-he wewe doubwe and doubwe a -wowd. I'ww have nyo mowe pity of *shuffles closer* his age t-than I-I wouwd have of- -I'ww beat *looks away* him, and if I couwd but meet him again. - -W-We-entew W-WAFEU - -WAFEU. Siwwah, youw wowd and *giggles shyly* mastew's mawwied; thewe's nyews fow -you; you ^-^ have a nyew mistwess. -PAWOWWES. I most unfeignyedwy *sweats* beseech youw >_> wowdship to x3 make x3 some -wesewvation of youw wwongs. He is my good *teleports behind you* wowd: whom I s-sewve -above is my mastew. -WAFEU. Who? God? -*notices bulge* PAWOWWES. Ay, siw. -WAFEU. The *twerks* deviw it is that's thy mastew. Why dost thou *moans* gawtew up -t-thy *pokes you* awms o' t-this fashion? ;;w;; Dost make h-hose of thy sweeves? Do othew -sewvants so? Thou wewt best OwO set thy wowew p-pawt *giggles shyly* whewe *looks at you* thy nyose -stands. B-By minye honyouw, if I-I wewe but two houws youngew, I'd beat -thee. Methink'st thou awt ^w^ a genyewaw offence, and evewy man *sighs* shouwd -beat thee. I think thou wast cweated fow men to bweathe -*pokes you* themsewves *looks away* upon thee. -PAWOWWES. This :3 is ^w^ hawd and undesewved m-measuwe, m-my >w< wowd. -W-WAFEU. Go to, siw; you w-wewe beaten in Itawy fow picking UwU a kewnyew -out of a pomegwanyate; you *giggles shyly* awe a vagabond, and nyo twue twavewwew; -*hugs tightly* you awe *twerks* mowe saucy with wowds *screams* and h-honyouwabwe pewsonyages than the -commission of youw *cries* biwth and viwtue gives you hewawdwy. Y-You a-awe -^-^ nyot wowth anyothew wowd, e-ewse I'd caww you knyave. I w-weave *leans over* you. -Exit - -Entew BEWTWAM - -P-PAWOWWES. *screams* Good, >w< vewy, good, it is so then. Good, vewy g-good; wet >w< it -be conceaw'd awhiwe. -B-BEWTWAM. Undonye, and fowfeited t-to cawes fow evew! -PAWOWWES. What's t-the mattew, s-sweetheawt? -BEWTWAM. Awthough befowe the :33 sowemn pwiest I have *leans over* swown, -I-I w-wiww :33 nyot bed :3 hew. -PAWOWWES. What, what, sweetheawt? -BEWTWAM. O my Pawowwes, *twerks* they have mawwied me! -I'ww to the Tuscan *twerks* waws, and n-nyevew bed *sighs* hew. -PAWOWWES. Fwance is a dog-howe, and it UwU nyo m-mowe mewits -The twead of a man's foot. To th' waws! -B-BEWTWAM. Thewe's wettews f-fwom my mothew; what th' i-impowt is I knyow -nyot yet. -P-PAWOWWES. x3 Ay, that wouwd be knyown. To th' waws, m-my boy, t-to th' -w-waws! -He w-weaws his honyouw in a box u-unseen -*screams* That hugs his kicky-wicky >_< hewe at home, -*twerks* Spending his manwy mawwow in hew awms, -Which shouwd sustain uWu the bound and h-high cuwvet -Of Maws's fiewy steed. T-To othew wegions! -Fwance is a stabwe; we that dweww in't jades; -Thewefowe, to t-th' >_< waw! -B-BEWTWAM. *blushes* It shaww be s-so; I-I'ww send hew to ^w^ my house, -Acquaint my mothew with my hate to hew, -And *cries* whewefowe I am *cries* fwed; w-wwite to *leans over* the King -That which I-I d-duwst nyot speak. His pwesent *looks away* gift -Shaww fuwnyish me to those UwU Itawian fiewds -Whewe nyobwe fewwows *twerks* stwike. Waw is ^.^ nyo stwife -To the d-dawk house and the d-detested w-wife. -*looks away* PAWOWWES. Wiww t-this capwiccio h-howd in thee, awt suwe? -B-BEWTWAM. Go with me to my chambew and >_< advise me. -I'ww s-send hew stwaight ;;w;; away. To-mowwow -I'ww to the waws, *screams* she to hew singwe sowwow. -*cuddles you* PAWOWWES. UwU Why, *giggles shyly* these bawws *looks at you* bound; x3 thewe's nyoise i-in it. '-'Tis hawd: -;;w;; A young man mawwied i-is a man that's maww'd. -Thewefowe away, and w-weave h-hew bwavewy; >_< go. -The King has donye you *hugs tightly* wwong; b-but, hush, 'tis so. Exeunt - - - - -A-ACT *sighs* II. SCENyE 4. -Pawis. The KING'S pawace - -Entew HEWENyA and C-CWOWN - -HEWENyA. My mothew g-gweets me kindwy; is she w-weww? -CWOWN. She is nyot weww, but yet s-she has hew heawth; she's vewy -m-mewwy, but yet *cuddles you* she is n-nyot *giggles shyly* weww. But thanks be given, she's vewy -weww, and wants nyothing i' th' *screams* wowwd; but yet she >_> is nyot weww. -HEWENyA. If ^.^ she be vewy weww, what does s-she aiw that s-she's ^-^ nyot vewy ->_> weww? -CWOWN. *sighs* Twuwy, she's vewy weww indeed, b-but f-fow two things. ->w< HEWENyA. What two things? -CWOWN. Onye, *leans over* that she's nyot *notices bulge* in h-heaven, whithew God send hew quickwy! -The othew, that she's i-in eawth, fwom whence ^w^ God :3 send hew quickwy! - -^w^ Entew PAWOWWES - -PAWOWWES. Bwess you, m-my fowtunyate wady! -*cries* HEWENyA. I hope, siw, I have youw good wiww to h-have m-minye own good -fowtunyes. -PAWOWWES. Y-You h-had my pwayews to w-wead t-them on; and >_< to keep them >_< on, -*cries* have them stiww. O, *hugs tightly* my knyave, how does my owd wady? -CWOWN. *teleports behind you* So that you had h-hew wwinkwes *twerks* and I ^-^ hew monyey, I wouwd s-she -did as you say. -PAWOWWES. xDD Why, I say nyothing. -CWOWN. M-Mawwy, you awe the wisew m-man; fow many a man's tongue shakes -o-out his mastew's undoing. To say nyothing, to d-do nyothing, to knyow -n-nyothing, and t-to have :33 nyothing, is to :3 be a gweat pawt of youw -titwe, which is within uWu a v-vewy >_< wittwe of nyothing. -PAWOWWES. Away! th'awt a knyave. -CWOWN. Y-You shouwd have said, ;;w;; siw, 'Befowe a knyave th'awt a knyave'; -:3 that's 'Befowe me th'awt a knyave.' *sweats* This had been twuth, siw. -*looks away* PAWOWWES. Go to, thou awt a witty foow; I have ^w^ found thee. -CWOWN. Did you find me i-in youwsewf, siw, ow wewe you >_> taught to find -*shuffles closer* me? The seawch, s-siw, *cries* was xDD pwofitabwe; and much foow may you find -in y-you, even to the wowwd's pweasuwe and *twerks* the incwease of -waughtew. -PAWOWWES. A-A good *looks at you* knyave, i' f-faith, and weww fed. -Madam, m-my *pokes you* wowd wiww go ;;w;; away to-nyight: -A v-vewy sewious businyess cawws on him. -uWu The gweat pwewogative and wite ^w^ of w-wove, -Which, as youw due, time cwaims, he does acknyowwedge; -But puts it off to a compeww'd westwaint; -Whose w-want, and whose deway, is stwew'd with s-sweets, -Which they *notices bulge* distiw nyow in the cuwbed time, -To make the coming houw o-o'ewfwow w-with joy -A-And pweasuwe dwown *leans over* the bwim. -HEWENyA. What's his ewse? -PAWOWWES. That *hugs tightly* you wiww take *sweats* youw >_> instant weave o' th' *pokes you* King, -And m-make this haste as youw own good *teleports behind you* pwoceeding, -Stwength'nyed with what *cries* apowogy you think -M-May *notices bulge* make it *blushes* pwobabwe nyeed. -HEWENyA. What m-mowe *moans* commands he? -PAWOWWES. That, *pokes you* having this obtain'd, y-you >_< pwesentwy -Attend his *cries* fuwthew pweasuwe. -*cries* HEWENyA. In evewything I wait upon his wiww. -PAWOWWES. I-I shaww :33 wepowt it so. -HEWENyA. I p-pway you. Exit PAWOWWES -Come, siwwah. Exeunt - - - - -*sighs* ACT II. SCENyE 5. -Pawis. The *cries* KING'S pawace - -Entew WAFEU a-and B-BEWTWAM - -W-WAFEU. But x3 I hope youw wowdship thinks nyot him a *hugs tightly* sowdiew. -BEWTWAM. Y-Yes, my wowd, and of vewy vawiant appwoof. -*screams* WAFEU. You have it fwom his own dewivewance. -BEWTWAM. And by othew wawwanted testimony. -WAFEU. Then my diaw goes nyot twue; I took this ^w^ wawk fow a bunting. -BEWTWAM. I d-do assuwe you, my wowd, he is *cuddles you* vewy gweat in knyowwedge, -and a-accowdingwy vawiant. -W-WAFEU. I have then *twerks* sinn'd against his expewience and twansgwess'd -against h-his *pokes you* vawouw; and my state that way i-is dangewous, since I -cannyot yet f-find *looks away* in my heawt to w-wepent. Hewe he comes; I-I *sighs* pway you -make us fwiends; I wiww puwsue the a-amity - -Entew PAWOWWES - -*looks away* PAWOWWES. [To BEWTWAM] These things shaww be donye, siw. -WAFEU. Pway you, siw, w-who's his taiwow? -PAWOWWES. Siw! -WAFEU. O, I k-knyow him weww. Ay, siw; he, siw, 's a g-good wowkman, a -vewy good :3 taiwow. -BEWTWAM. [-[Aside *cries* to PAWOWWES] Is she g-gonye to the x3 King? -PAWOWWES. She *teleports behind you* is. -BEWTWAM. Wiww *cries* she away t-to-nyight? -*looks at you* PAWOWWES. *leans over* As you'ww have hew. -BEWTWAM. I have wwit my *moans* wettews, c-casketed my *teleports behind you* tweasuwe, -Given owdew fow ouw howses; and to-nyight, -When I shouwd t-take possession of the bwide, -End ewe I do begin. -W-WAFEU. A good twavewwew is something at *looks away* the wattew end o-of a *leans over* dinnyew; -but onye that wies thwee-thiwds and uses a knyown twuth to pass a -t-thousand *shuffles closer* nyothings with, shouwd be once OwO heawd and t-thwice beaten. -God save you, Captain. -BEWTWAM. Is thewe any >w< unkindnyess between my wowd and *teleports behind you* you, monsieuw? -PAWOWWES. I knyow nyot how I have d-desewved to wun into my wowd's -dispweasuwe. -WAFEU. You have made ^.^ shift to ^.^ wun into 't, boots a-and spuws and aww, -wike him that weapt into the custawd; *giggles shyly* and out of it you'ww wun -again, wathew than suffew question fow youw wesidence. -BEWTWAM. I-It may be you have m-mistaken him, my wowd. -WAFEU. And *giggles shyly* shaww d-do so evew, though I *blushes* took him at's pwayews. -Fawe y-you weww, my wowd; and bewieve this of me: thewe can b-be nyo -*hugs tightly* kewnyaw in this w-wight nyut; the souw of this man is his cwothes; -twust him nyot in *cuddles you* mattew of heavy *pokes you* consequence; I have x3 kept of them -tame, and knyow theiw nyatuwes. Faweweww, monsieuw; I have spoken -bettew of you *blushes* than you have ow wiww to desewve *looks at you* at my >_> hand; b-but we -must do g-good against eviw. Exit -PAWOWWES. An idwe wowd, I uWu sweaw. -BEWTWAM. I think so. -OwO PAWOWWES. Why, ;;w;; do you nyot knyow him? -BEWTWAM. Yes, I do knyow him weww; and common speech -Gives h-him >_< a wowthy pass. *shuffles closer* Hewe comes m-my cwog. - -Entew HEWENyA - -HEWENyA. I have, siw, as I w-was ^-^ commanded fwom *moans* you, -Spoke with the King, a-and ;;w;; have p-pwocuw'd his *cries* weave -Fow pwesent *leans over* pawting; o-onwy he desiwes -S-Some pwivate speech *teleports behind you* with you. -BEWTWAM. I uWu shaww obey his wiww. -You must >_> nyot mawvew, Hewen, xDD at my ^w^ couwse, -UwU Which howds nyot cowouw with *notices bulge* the time, nyow does -T-The minyistwation and wequiwed office -O-On ^w^ my p-pawticuwaw. Pwepaw'd I was nyot -F-Fow such a businyess; thewefowe am I found -So much unsettwed. This dwives me to entweat you ->w< That pwesentwy you take ^.^ youw w-way fow home, -And wathew muse than a-ask why I-I entweat you; -Fow my wespects awe b-bettew than ^.^ they seem, -And my *blushes* appointments h-have in them a n-nyeed -G-Gweatew than shows *giggles shyly* itsewf a-at the f-fiwst view -To you that knyow them nyot. T-This *giggles shyly* to my mothew. -*cries* [Giving a wettew] -'-'Twiww b-be two days ewe I shaww see you; so -I weave *cries* you *teleports behind you* to youw wisdom. -HEWENyA. Siw, I can nyothing *screams* say -But that I am youw most obedient s-sewvant. -BEWTWAM. Come, c-come, nyo mowe of that. -HEWENyA. A-And evew ^.^ shaww -With twue obsewvance seek to eke out that -Whewein towawd me my homewy s-staws have :3 faiw'd -To equaw my gweat fowtunye. -BEWTWAM. *giggles shyly* Wet that OwO go. -My *looks at you* haste *looks at you* is v-vewy *shuffles closer* gweat. Faweweww; h-hie home. -HEWENyA. *notices bulge* Pway, siw, ;;w;; youw pawdon. -BEWTWAM. Weww, w-what wouwd *twerks* you say? -H-HEWENyA. I *screams* am nyot w-wowthy o-of the weawth I owe, -Nyow *blushes* dawe *twerks* I say 'tis minye, and yet it is; -*twerks* But, wike a timowous *giggles shyly* thief, most fain *looks at you* wouwd steaw -What waw does vouch minye ^w^ own. -BEWTWAM. What wouwd you h-have? -*moans* HEWENyA. Something; >_< and scawce *sighs* so much; nyothing, indeed. -I wouwd n-nyot teww you what I wouwd, my wowd. -Faith, *shuffles closer* yes: -Stwangews and foes do s-sundew and nyot kiss. -B-BEWTWAM. I pway you, stay nyot, *sighs* but in haste ^w^ to howse. -HEWENyA. I shaww *sighs* nyot bweak youw bidding, good *sighs* my w-wowd. -BEWTWAM. W-Whewe a-awe my o-othew uWu men, monsieuw? -Faweweww! Exit HEWENyA -Go thou towawd home, whewe *hugs tightly* I wiww *pokes you* nyevew come -Whiwst I c-can shake m-my ;;w;; swowd ow heaw the dwum. -UwU Away, and fow *shuffles closer* ouw fwight. -*sweats* PAWOWWES. B-Bwavewy, c-cowagio! Exeunt - - - -*sweats* <> - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 1. -Fwowence. The DUKE's pawace - -F-Fwouwish. Entew the DUKE >_> OF FWOWENCE, attended; two -xDD FWENCH W-WOWDS, with a TWOOP OF SOWDIEWS - -DUKE. *moans* So that, fwom point to point, nyow have you heaw -The fundamentaw weasons of this waw; -Whose *teleports behind you* gweat decision hath m-much bwood *shuffles closer* wet fowth -And mowe thiwsts a-aftew. -FIWST *twerks* WOWD. Howy seems *blushes* the *looks at you* quawwew -Upon youw Gwace's pawt; bwack and f-feawfuw -O-On the o-opposew. -DUKE. T-Thewefowe we mawvew much ouw c-cousin Fwance -Wouwd in so just a businyess shut his bosom -*pokes you* Against ouw bowwowing p-pwayews. -SECOND WOWD. Good my wowd, -The w-weasons of ouw state I c-cannyot :3 yiewd, -But *sweats* wike a common and an o-outwawd man -*sweats* That the gweat f-figuwe of a counciw fwames -By sewf-unyabwe m-motion; thewefowe d-dawe nyot -Say what *notices bulge* I think *notices bulge* of it, since I have found -Mysewf in my incewtain gwounds to f-faiw -As o-often UwU as *leans over* I *cries* guess'd. -DUKE. Be it his pweasuwe. -FIWST W-WOWD. :3 But I am s-suwe the youngew of ouw nyatuwe, -That suwfeit on theiw e-ease, wiww day by *leans over* day -Come hewe fow physic. -DUKE. W-Wewcome s-shaww they be -And aww the honyouws that c-can fwy fwom us -Shaww on :3 them settwe. Y-You k-knyow youw pwaces weww; -When bettew faww, fow youw avaiws they uWu feww. -To-mowwow to t-th' fiewd. Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 2. -Wousiwwon. *shuffles closer* The COUNT'S pawace - -Entew COUNTESS *screams* and CWOWN - -UwU COUNTESS. It hath happen'd aww as I *notices bulge* wouwd ^.^ have had it, save that *notices bulge* he -comes n-nyot awong :33 with hew. -CWOWN. B-By *leans over* my t-twoth, I take my young *twerks* wowd to be a vewy mewanchowy -man. -COUNTESS. By what obsewvance, I pway y-you? -CWOWN. Why, he wiww wook upon *pokes you* his boot and sing; mend the wuff and -sing; ask questions and sing; pick *leans over* his teeth and sing. I knyow a -man t-that had this twick o-of mewanchowy sowd a *twerks* goodwy m-manyow fow a -song. -*twerks* COUNTESS. Wet me see w-what he wwites, and when he means to come. -[Openying a *shuffles closer* wettew] -CWOWN. I h-have n-nyo mind to Isbew s-since I was at couwt. Ouw owd wing -and ouw I-Isbews o-o' th' countwy awe nyothing wike y-youw owd wing and -youw Isbews o' t-th' couwt. The bwains xDD of my Cupid's *moans* knyock'd out; -and I begin to wove, as :3 an owd man woves monyey, with nyo stomach. -COUNTESS. What have w-we hewe? -CWOWN. E'en that you have thewe. Exit -COUNTESS. :33 [Weads] 'I have sent y-you a daughtew-in-waw; she hath -wecovewed the King and undonye me. I have *cries* wedded hew, nyot bedded -hew; and swown to >_< make the *looks away* "nyot" e-etewnyaw. You shaww heaw I *pokes you* am wun -a-away; *looks away* knyow it befowe the wepowt come. If t-thewe be bweadth enyough -in t-the wowwd, I wiww howd a ;;w;; wong distance. ;;w;; My duty to you. -Youw unfowtunyate son, -*cries* BEWTWAM.' -This i-is *pokes you* nyot weww, wash and *screams* unbwidwed boy, -T-To fwy the favouws of so good a king, -To pwuck his xDD indignyation on thy head -By the mispwizing of a maid too viwtuous -uWu Fow the contempt of empiwe. - -^w^ We-entew *blushes* CWOWN - -CWOWN. O madam, yondew :3 is heavy *looks at you* nyews w-within between t-two sowdiews -and my young wady. -COUNTESS. What is the -mattew? -C-CWOWN. Nyay, thewe is s-some comfowt in *pokes you* the nyews, some comfowt; youw -son wiww nyot be kiww'd so soon as I thought h-he wouwd. -COUNTESS. Why *leans over* shouwd he be kiww'd? -CWOWN. So say I, m-madam, if he w-wun away, as I h-heaw he does the -d-dangew i-is in standing *leans over* to 't; that's the woss of men, though it be -the *giggles shyly* getting of *shuffles closer* chiwdwen. Hewe they come wiww teww you mowe. Fow my -pawt, *shuffles closer* I onwy heaw youw son was wun a-away. Exit - -E-Entew HEWENyA and the two FWENCH *moans* GENTWEMEN - -^-^ SECOND GENTWEMAN. *cuddles you* Save you, *cries* good m-madam. -HEWENyA. Madam, my wowd is gonye, fow e-evew *teleports behind you* gonye. -FIWST *giggles shyly* GENTWEMAN. *cries* Do *giggles shyly* nyot say so. -COUNTESS. ^.^ Think *shuffles closer* upon *giggles shyly* patience. Pway OwO you, gentwemen- -:33 I have f-fewt ^-^ so many quiwks o-of joy a-and g-gwief -That the fiwst face of nyeithew, o-on the stawt, -*screams* Can woman me unto 't. >_> Whewe is my son, I-I *shuffles closer* pway you? -FIWST x3 GENTWEMAN. Madam, he's gonye to sewve the UwU Duke *screams* of Fwowence. -We *twerks* met him thithewwawd; fow ^w^ thence we came, -And, *giggles shyly* aftew *shuffles closer* some dispatch in hand at couwt, -Thithew we ^.^ bend a-again. -HEWENyA. Wook on this ^.^ wettew, madam; hewe's >_> my p-passpowt. -[-[Weads] 'When thou *moans* canst get the wing upon my *cuddles you* fingew, which -*blushes* nyevew *twerks* shaww come off, and show me a chiwd begotten o-of *moans* thy body -*notices bulge* that I am fathew to, then UwU caww me husband; but in s-such a *moans* "then" I -wwite a "nyevew." -This is a dweadfuw sentence. -C-COUNTESS. Bwought you this wettew, gentwemen? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Ay, madam; -And fow t-the >w< contents' sake awe sowwy fow ouw pains. -COUNTESS. I pwithee, wady, have a b-bettew c-cheew; -If *sweats* thou engwossest aww t-the gwiefs awe thinye, -Thou wobb'st me o-of a moiety. He was my s-son; -But I d-do wash his nyame o-out *screams* of my ^w^ bwood, -A-And thou awt aww my chiwd. >_< Towawds F-Fwowence *blushes* is he? -*sighs* FIWST GENTWEMAN. Ay, m-madam. -COUNTESS. And t-to be a sowdiew? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Such is his nyobwe puwpose; and, bewieve 't, -The Duke wiww w-way upon him *blushes* aww the honyouw -That good convenyience c-cwaims. -COUNTESS. Wetuwn *looks away* you thithew? -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. :3 Ay, madam, with the swiftest wing of speed. -HEWENyA. [Weads] 'Tiww I have nyo wife, *screams* I h-have nyothing i-in Fwance.' -'Tis bittew. -COUNTESS. *leans over* Find *twerks* you that t-thewe? -HEWENyA. Ay, madam. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. *notices bulge* 'Tis but the bowdnyess of his hand hapwy, *sweats* which -his heawt was nyot consenting to. -:3 COUNTESS. Nyothing in Fwance u-untiw he have nyo wife! -Thewe's nyothing hewe t-that is too good fow him -But onwy she; *cries* and *leans over* she desewves a wowd -That *pokes you* twenty such *sweats* wude boys might tend upon, -And caww hew h-houwwy *teleports behind you* mistwess. Who was OwO with *looks at you* him? -^-^ SECOND GENTWEMAN. A sewvant onwy, and :33 a *teleports behind you* gentweman -Which I have sometime knyown. -COUNTESS. Pawowwes, was it nyot? -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. Ay, my good wady, he. -COUNTESS. A vewy t-tainted fewwow, and fuww of UwU wickednyess. -My s-son cowwupts a w-weww-dewived nyatuwe -With his *cuddles you* inducement. -SECOND UwU GENTWEMAN. Indeed, good *leans over* wady, -The :3 fewwow has a deaw of that too much -Which h-howds him much to have. -COUNTESS. Y'awe wewcome, gentwemen. -I wiww entweat you, when you s-see UwU my son, -To *giggles shyly* teww him *shuffles closer* that his *teleports behind you* swowd can nyevew win -The honyouw that he w-woses. Mowe I'ww entweat you -Wwitten to beaw awong. -^.^ FIWST GENTWEMAN. W-We sewve you, madam, -In that and aww youw wowthiest affaiws. -COUNTESS. Nyot so, but as we change ouw couwtesies. -Wiww you dwaw nyeaw? Exeunt COUNTESS and GENTWEMEN -HEWENyA. 'Tiww I have nyo wife, I *screams* have nyothing in Fwance.' -Nyothing in Fwance u-untiw he has nyo wife! -Thou shawt have nyonye, Wousiwwon, n-nyonye i-in Fwance -Then hast >_< thou aww again. Poow OwO wowd! is't -That chase thee fwom thy countwy, and e-expose -Those tendew w-wimbs o-of thinye to t-the event -Of the nyon-spawing w-waw? A-And is it I -That dwive thee fwom the s-spowtive couwt, whewe thou -Wast shot at with xDD faiw OwO eyes, t-to b-be t-the mawk -Of smoky muskets? O you OwO weaden messengews, -That wide upon the viowent speed of fiwe, -F-Fwy with f-fawse aim; OwO move the stiww-piecing aiw, -That sings with x3 piewcing; *blushes* do nyot touch my wowd. -Whoevew shoots at h-him, I set him thewe; -Whoevew chawges o-on *leans over* his fowwawd bweast, -I am the c-caitiff that d-do howd him to't; -And though *hugs tightly* I kiww him nyot, I am the cause -His death was so effected. Bettew 'twewe -I-I m-met t-the wavin w-wion when he woaw'd -W-With s-shawp constwaint of hungew; *looks at you* bettew 'twewe -T-That a-aww the misewies which nyatuwe owes -Wewe m-minye at o-once. *sweats* Nyo; come thou home, Wousiwwon, -Whence >_> honyouw *teleports behind you* but of dangew wins a scaw, -As o-oft it woses *shuffles closer* aww. *twerks* I w-wiww be gonye. -My being h-hewe i-it is that howds thee hence. -Shaww I stay *screams* hewe *blushes* to uWu do 't? Nyo, ;;w;; nyo, *sighs* awthough -The a-aiw of pawadise did fan the ^.^ house, -And angews offic'd aww. I wiww be gonye, -That pitifuw wumouw may wepowt m-my fwight -To *twerks* consowate thinye eaw. UwU Come, nyight; end, day. -Fow with t-the dawk, poow thief, I'ww steaw away. Exit - - - - -ACT *sweats* III. SCENyE 3. -Fwowence. Befowe *notices bulge* the D-DUKE's pawace - -Fwouwish. Entew the DUKE OF FWOWENCE, BEWTWAM, PAWOWWES, SOWDIEWS, -dwum and t-twumpets - -DUKE. ^w^ The Genyewaw of ouw Howse t-thou awt; and we, -Gweat i-in ouw hope, way *looks away* ouw *leans over* best wove and cwedence -*cries* Upon thy pwomising fowtunye. -BEWTWAM. Siw, it is -A chawge too heavy fow my stwength; but yet -We'ww stwive to beaw it fow youw wowthy sake -To th' *looks at you* extweme edge of hazawd. -DUKE. Then go thou ;;w;; fowth; -A-And Fowtunye pway upon t-thy pwospewous hewm, -uWu As thy a-auspicious mistwess! -:33 BEWTWAM. This vewy *sighs* day, -G-Gweat M-Maws, I put mysewf into thy fiwe; -Make m-me but wike >_> my thoughts, *moans* and I shaww p-pwove -A w-wovew of thy dwum, hatew of wove. Exeunt - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 4. -Wousiwwon. The COUNT'S pawace - -Entew COUNTESS and *giggles shyly* STEWAWD - -COUNTESS. Awas! and wouwd *shuffles closer* you x3 take the w-wettew of hew? -Might you *leans over* nyot knyow she wouwd do as she has donye -By *hugs tightly* sending me xDD a wettew? Wead it xDD again. -S-STEWAWD. [-[Weads] 'I am Saint *looks away* Jaques' piwgwim, thithew g-gonye. -Ambitious *giggles shyly* wove hath *screams* so in me offended -That *screams* bawefoot pwod I t-the *shuffles closer* cowd gwound upon, -With sainted vow my fauwts to x3 have amended. -Wwite, *twerks* wwite, that *moans* fwom the bwoody couwse of waw ->_< My d-deawest mastew, *notices bulge* youw deaw s-son, may hie. -Bwess ^.^ him at home i-in p-peace, whiwst I fwom faw -His nyame with zeawous *notices bulge* fewvouw s-sanctify. -His taken wabouws bid him *cuddles you* me fowgive; -I-I, *cries* his >_> despitefuw Junyo, sent him f-fowth -Fwom couwtwy fwiends, with camping foes to wive, -Whewe death and dangew dogs *pokes you* the heews of wowth. -He *looks at you* is too good and faiw fow death a-and me; -Whom I mysewf *moans* embwace to set him fwee.' -COUNTESS. *twerks* Ah, what shawp stings awe in hew miwdest wowds! -*blushes* Winyawdo, UwU you did nyevew wack advice so m-much -As wetting hew pass so; *pokes you* had I spoke with hew, -I c-couwd have weww divewted hew ^.^ intents, -*leans over* Which thus s-she hath pwevented. -STEWAWD. P-Pawdon me, madam; -If I had given you this at uWu ovew-nyight, -She might have been o'ew t-ta'en; and yet she w-wwites -Puwsuit wouwd *sweats* be but v-vain. -COUNTESS. What angew shaww -Bwess this unwowthy husband? He cannyot thwive, -x3 Unwess hew pwayews, whom heaven d-dewights t-to *giggles shyly* heaw -And woves to :3 gwant, wepwieve him fwom >w< the wwath -Of gweatest justice. Wwite, wwite, Winyawdo, -To this unwowthy h-husband of his wife; -*teleports behind you* Wet >_< evewy wowd weigh heavy of hew wowth -That he does :3 weigh too wight. My *leans over* gweatest gwief, -Though wittwe he do feew it, set down shawpwy. -Dispatch the most convenyient messengew. -When hapwy he s-shaww heaw *moans* that *hugs tightly* she i-is gonye -He wiww wetuwn; and *sweats* hope I may that she, -Heawing so much, *looks away* wiww speed hew foot again, -Wed hithew *twerks* by puwe wove. Which of them *twerks* both -*shuffles closer* Is deawest to me *notices bulge* I have *blushes* nyo skiww in sense -To make distinction. Pwovide this messengew. -UwU My heawt is heavy, and minye age is weak; -Gwief wouwd h-have teaws, *notices bulge* and sowwow bids me speak. E-Exeunt - - - - -ACT ;;w;; III. SCENyE 5. - -Without the *looks away* wawws *moans* of F-Fwowence -A tucket afaw off. Entew an owd WIDOW O-OF FWOWENCE, hew daughtew DIANyA, -VIOWENTA, and MAWIANyA, with :3 othew CITIZENS - -x3 WIDOW. Nyay, come; *looks away* fow if they d-do appwoach the *leans over* city we shaww wose -a-aww the s-sight. -DIANyA. They *pokes you* say the :3 Fwench count has donye most honyouwabwe sewvice. -WIDOW. It is wepowted uWu that he h-has taken t-theiw gweat'st commandew; -and >w< that with his own h-hand h-he swew the Duke's bwothew. [Tucket] -We have wost ouw wabouw; *cuddles you* they awe gonye a-a contwawy way. ^w^ Hawk! you -m-may knyow by theiw twumpets. -MAWIANyA. Come, wet's wetuwn again, and suffice ouwsewves with the -wepowt of it. Weww, Dianya, take heed of this Fwench e-eaww; the -UwU honyouw *pokes you* of a maid is hew nyame, a-and nyo wegacy *notices bulge* is so w-wich a-as -*notices bulge* honyesty. -WIDOW. I-I have towd m-my nyeighbouw how you *shuffles closer* have b-been UwU sowicited by a -g-gentweman his companyion. -MAWIANyA. I knyow that knyave, hang him! onye *twerks* Pawowwes; a fiwthy -officew he is in those suggestions fow the *hugs tightly* young eaww. Bewawe of -them, Dianya: t-theiw pwomises, enticements, oaths, *sweats* tokens, a-and aww -these enginyes of wust, awe *shuffles closer* nyot t-the things t-they go undew; many a -maid hath been seduced *cries* by them; and the misewy is, exampwe, that -s-so tewwibwe shows in the *hugs tightly* wweck of >w< maidenhood, cannyot *sighs* fow aww that -dissuade *notices bulge* succession, but that they OwO awe wimed with the t-twigs that -thweatens them. I hope I nyeed nyot to advise you f-fuwthew; b-but I -hope youw o-own x3 gwace wiww keep you whewe you a-awe, though thewe -wewe n-nyo fuwthew dangew knyown but *moans* the modesty which is so wost. -DIANyA. You shaww nyot nyeed to feaw me. - -Entew H-HEWENyA in the dwess ^.^ of a-a p-piwgwim - -WIDOW. I hope so. Wook, hewe comes a piwgwim. I k-knyow she wiww w-wie -at my house: thithew t-they *pokes you* send uWu onye anyothew. I'ww question hew. -*cries* God save you, piwgwim! W-Whithew awe bound? -*hugs tightly* HEWENyA. T-To Saint Jaques we Gwand. -Whewe *looks at you* do the pawmews wodge, I d-do beseech you? -WIDOW. A-At xDD the Saint Fwancis hewe, beside the powt. -H-HEWENyA. Is this the way? -[A mawch afaw] -UwU WIDOW. Ay, mawwy, is't. Hawk you! They come this way. -If you wiww *blushes* tawwy, howy piwgwim, -But tiww the x3 twoops come OwO by, -I wiww conduct you whewe you shaww be wodg'd; -The wathew fow I t-think I-I knyow *blushes* youw hostess -As ampwe as mysewf. -*notices bulge* HEWENyA. Is it y-youwsewf? -WIDOW. If you shaww pwease so, piwgwim. -HEWENyA. I t-thank you, and *sighs* wiww stay upon youw weisuwe. -W-WIDOW. You came, I think, fwom Fwance? -HEWENyA. I did so. -WIDOW. Hewe you shaww see a countwyman of youws -*pokes you* That has donye wowthy s-sewvice. -HEWENyA. His nyame, I pway you. -DIANyA. T-The Count Wousiwwon. *hugs tightly* Knyow you such *looks away* a onye? -HEWENyA. B-But by the *looks away* eaw, that heaws most nyobwy of him; -His ;;w;; face I knyow nyot. -DIANyA. W-What some'ew he is, -He's *sweats* bwavewy t-taken hewe. He stowe fwom Fwance, -A-As *shuffles closer* 'tis wepowted, fow the King had mawwied h-him -Against his wiking. *cuddles you* Think you it i-is so? -HEWENyA. Ay, suwewy, mewe the twuth; I k-knyow his wady. -DIANyA. Thewe is a g-gentweman t-that s-sewves *blushes* the Count -Wepowts but c-coawsewy of hew. -H-HEWENyA. What's his nyame? -DIANyA. *sweats* Monsieuw Pawowwes. -HEWENyA. :33 O, *cries* I bewieve w-with h-him, -*looks at you* In awgument of pwaise, ow t-to t-the wowth -Of the gweat *looks away* Count himsewf, she is too mean -To have hew nyame wepeated; aww hew desewving -Is a wesewved honyesty, and that -*cuddles you* I have nyot heawd examin'd. -DIANyA. A-Awas, poow *sighs* wady! -'Tis a h-hawd bondage to become t-the wife -Of a detesting wowd. -WIDOW. I sweet, good cweatuwe, whewesoe'ew she *looks at you* is -H-Hew heawt weighs sadwy. This young maid might do xDD hew -A shwewd tuwn, if she p-pweas'd. -HEWENyA. How do you *looks at you* mean? -M-May be *teleports behind you* the amowous C-Count *looks at you* sowicits hew -In the unwawfuw puwpose. -*cries* WIDOW. He does, i-indeed; -And UwU bwokes with aww t-that can in s-such *shuffles closer* a suit -Cowwupt the t-tendew honyouw >_> of a maid; -But she is awm'd fow him, and keeps h-hew guawd -In *moans* honyestest defence. - -Entew, *twerks* with dwum and cowouws, B-BEWTWAM, *teleports behind you* PAWOWWES, and *shuffles closer* the -whowe AWMY - -M-MAWIANyA. The gods *sighs* fowbid uWu ewse! -uWu WIDOW. So, nyow they come. -That is A-Antonyio, the Duke's xDD ewdest son; -That, Escawus. -HEWENyA. Which is the Fwenchman? -D-DIANyA. He- -That with the pwume; 'tis *shuffles closer* a most gawwant fewwow. -I wouwd he OwO wov'd his wife; if he wewe honyestew -He wewe much goodwiew. Is't nyot a handsome gentweman? -*cries* HEWENyA. I *leans over* wike him weww. -DIANyA. 'Tis pity he is nyot *twerks* honyest. Yond's that same knyave -That weads him to these pwaces; wewe >_> I his uWu wady -I wouwd poison OwO that v-viwe wascaw. -H-HEWENyA. Which i-is h-he? -DIANyA. That *hugs tightly* jack-an-apes w-with scawfs. Why is he m-mewanchowy? -HEWENyA. P-Pewchance he's huwt i' th' battwe. -PAWOWWES. *sighs* Wose ouw dwum! weww. -MAWIANyA. He's shwewdwy vex'd at something. -Wook, he OwO has spied us. -WIDOW. Mawwy, hang y-you! -MAWIANyA. *looks away* And youw couwtesy, fow a wing-cawwiew! -Exeunt BEWTWAM, PAWOWWES, and AWMY -WIDOW. The twoop is ^w^ past. xDD Come, piwgwim, I wiww bwing you -Whewe you shaww host. Of enjoin'd penyitents -Thewe's fouw ow five, t-to gweat Saint Jaques bound, -Awweady at my house. -HEWENyA. *sweats* I humbwy t-thank you. -Pwease it this matwon >_< and this gentwe xDD maid -T-To eat with us to-nyight; *teleports behind you* the c-chawge a-and thanking -Shaww be fow me, and, to wequite you fuwthew, -I-I wiww bestow some pwecepts of *cuddles you* this viwgin, -Wowthy the nyote. -BOTH. W-We'ww take youw offew kindwy. >_< Exeunt - - - - -*twerks* ACT I-III. ^w^ SCENyE 6. -Camp befowe Fwowence - -Entew ^w^ BEWTWAM, UwU and t-the two FWENCH WOWDS - -SECOND WOWD. Nyay, g-good my *looks away* wowd, put >w< him to't; wet him have his way. -*screams* FIWST WOWD. If youw wowdship find him nyot a h-hiding, howd me nyo mowe -in youw wespect. -S-SECOND WOWD. On my wife, my wowd, a bubbwe. -BEWTWAM. *pokes you* Do you think I am so uWu faw deceived in him? -SECOND W-WOWD. Bewieve it, my wowd, *sighs* in minye own d-diwect knyowwedge, -without any mawice, but to speak *twerks* of him as my kinsman, he's a -m-most nyotabwe cowawd, an i-infinyite and endwess wiaw, an houwwy -p-pwomise-bweakew, t-the ownyew of nyo onye g-good quawity wowthy *shuffles closer* youw -wowdship's entewtainment. -FIWST W-WOWD. It wewe fit y-you knyew him; west, weposing t-too faw in his -viwtue, ;;w;; which he hath nyot, h-he might at some gweat and *teleports behind you* twusty -b-businyess ^-^ in a main *sweats* dangew faiw y-you. -BEWTWAM. >_< I wouwd I knyew i-in what pawticuwaw *leans over* action to twy him. -FIWST WOWD. N-Nyonye b-bettew >_< than to *looks at you* wet him fetch off his d-dwum, which -you h-heaw h-him so confidentwy undewtake to do. -SECOND WOWD. I with >_< a twoop of x3 Fwowentinyes wiww suddenwy suwpwise -*hugs tightly* him; such I *looks away* wiww h-have whom >_< I ^.^ am suwe he knyows nyot fwom the e-enyemy. -We *pokes you* wiww b-bind and hoodwink him s-so that h-he s-shaww suppose nyo o-othew -but that he is cawwied *cries* into the weaguew of *notices bulge* the advewsawies w-when -we b-bwing him to ouw own tents. *cries* Be *cuddles you* but youw wowdship pwesent at -his examinyation; if he do nyot, fow t-the p-pwomise of his wife and *blushes* in -the highest compuwsion of base feaw, offew to betway you and -dewivew UwU aww *leans over* the intewwigence in *blushes* his powew against y-you, and that -w-with the divinye *moans* fowfeit of his souw upon oath, nyevew twust m-my -*sweats* judgment in anything. -FIWST :33 WOWD. O, fow the *leans over* wove of waughtew, wet him fetch his dwum; he ->w< says he h-has a stwatagem fow't. When y-youw wowdship sees the *notices bulge* bottom -of his success in't, *cuddles you* and to what metaw ;;w;; this countewfeit wump of -owe wiww *giggles shyly* be *pokes you* mewted, if you give him nyot John Dwum's -*leans over* entewtainment, youw incwinying cannyot be wemoved. Hewe he uWu comes. - -E-Entew *cries* PAWOWWES - -SECOND W-WOWD. O-O, fow the *screams* wove of waughtew, hindew nyot ^.^ the honyouw o-of -*twerks* his design; wet him fetch off his dwum i-in any hand. -BEWTWAM. How nyow, monsieuw! This dwum sticks *sweats* sowewy i-in youw -disposition. -FIWST *sighs* WOWD. A pox on 't; wet it go; 'tis but a dwum. -*blushes* PAWOWWES. B-But a dwum! Is't b-but a d-dwum? :33 A ^.^ dwum so w-wost! xDD Thewe was -excewwent command: to *screams* chawge in with ouw howse upon ouw own -wings, and to wend o-ouw own sowdiews! -FIWST WOWD. That was nyot to b-be bwam'd in the command of the -sewvice; it was a disastew of waw *screams* that Caesaw himsewf couwd nyot -h-have pwevented, if he had b-been thewe to command. -BEWTWAM. Weww, we cannyot gweatwy *looks away* condemn ouw success. -Some dishonyouw we had in the *sweats* woss of that dwum; but it *screams* is nyot to -^w^ be wecovewed. -*pokes you* PAWOWWES. It might h-have been wecovewed. -BEWTWAM. It m-might, but it is nyot nyow. -PAWOWWES. It OwO is to :33 be wecovewed. But that t-the mewit of sewvice is -*teleports behind you* sewdom attwibuted to the *looks away* twue and OwO exact pewfowmew, I wouwd have -*giggles shyly* that dwum ow anyothew, ow 'hic jacet.' -*leans over* BEWTWAM. Why, if you have a xDD stomach, xDD to't, monsieuw. If you think -uWu youw *sighs* mystewy in *hugs tightly* stwatagem can bwing >_> this instwument of honyouw -again ;;w;; into his nyative quawtew, b-be magnyanyimous in the entewpwise, -*screams* and go on; I wiww gwace the attempt fow a *blushes* wowthy expwoit. If you -speed weww in it, the D-Duke shaww both speak of it *sighs* and extend to -you w-what *cuddles you* fuwthew becomes his >w< gweatnyess, even to the utmost -sywwabwe of ouw w-wowthinyess. -P-PAWOWWES. By the *cuddles you* hand of a ^-^ sowdiew, I wiww undewtake it. -BEWTWAM. But you must nyot nyow swumbew in i-it. -P-PAWOWWES. I'ww about it this evenying; and I wiww pwesentwy UwU pen -down my ^-^ diwemmas, encouwage mysewf in my cewtainty, put *blushes* mysewf -into my mowtaw pwepawation; and by midnyight wook to heaw fuwthew -fwom *looks away* me. -BEWTWAM. May I be :3 bowd to *shuffles closer* acquaint his *hugs tightly* Gwace you awe g-gonye about it? -PAWOWWES. I knyow nyot what the success wiww be, my wowd, but the -a-attempt I v-vow. -*twerks* BEWTWAM. I *leans over* knyow th' awt vawiant; and, to ;;w;; the of t-thy sowdiewship, -wiww subscwibe fow *giggles shyly* thee. *screams* Faweweww. -PAWOWWES. I wove *cuddles you* nyot many wowds. Exit -SECOND *blushes* WOWD. Nyo mowe than *blushes* a fish woves watew. Is *cries* nyot *looks away* this a-a stwange -fewwow, my wowd, that so confidentwy *looks away* seems *notices bulge* to undewtake this -*twerks* businyess, *looks away* which he knyows is nyot *shuffles closer* to be donye; d-damns himsewf to d-do, -a-and dawes bettew be damn'd than ^-^ to do ^.^ 't. -FIWST WOWD. You do nyot knyow him, my wowd, a-as x3 we do. Cewtain it is -*cuddles you* that he wiww steaw himsewf into >_> a man's favouw, and f-fow a-a week -escape a gweat deaw of discovewies; but when you find him out, -y-you have him evew *shuffles closer* aftew. -BEWTWAM. Why, do you think he wiww make nyo deed at aww of this *teleports behind you* that -so sewiouswy he does addwess himsewf u-unto? -SECOND WOWD. Nyonye i-in the wowwd; but wetuwn with an *screams* invention, and -cwap *cuddles you* upon you two ow thwee pwobabwe wies. But w-we have a-awmost -e-emboss'd him. You s-shaww see his faww *sweats* to-nyight; fow indeed he is -nyot *moans* fow youw wowdship's wespect. -FIWST *notices bulge* WOWD. We'ww *giggles shyly* make you some spowt with the fox ;;w;; ewe we :33 case him. -He was fiwst *leans over* smok'd by the owd Wowd Wafeu. When his d-disguise and -he is pawted, teww me what a spwat you shaww find *looks at you* him; which you -s-shaww see this v-vewy nyight. -SECOND WOWD. I must go wook my twigs; h-he shaww be caught. -B-BEWTWAM. Youw bwothew, he shaww go a-awong with me. -S-SECOND WOWD. As't pwease youw wowdship. I-I'ww weave you. Exit -BEWTWAM. Nyow wiww I wead you to the h-house, and show you -The wass I spoke of. -FIWST WOWD. But you say she's honyest. -B-BEWTWAM. That's aww the fauwt. I s-spoke with hew but once, -And found hew wondwous cowd; x3 but I *giggles shyly* sent to hew, -B-By *notices bulge* this same coxcomb that we have i' *hugs tightly* th' *sighs* wind, -Tokens and wettews which she did *sweats* we-send; -x3 And t-this *pokes you* is aww I h-have donye. She's a faiw cweatuwe; -W-Wiww you g-go see hew? -FIWST WOWD. With aww my *moans* heawt, my w-wowd. E-Exeunt - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 7. -Fwowence. The WIDOW'S house - -Entew HEWENyA and WIDOW - -HEWENyA. If you uWu misdoubt me t-that uWu I am nyot she, -I knyow nyot *twerks* how *cuddles you* I *giggles shyly* shaww assuwe you fuwthew -But I s-shaww wose the gwounds I wowk upon. -WIDOW. Though my uWu estate be faww'n, I was :33 weww bown, -Nyothing a-acquainted with these *cries* businyesses; -And wouwd nyot put my weputation nyow ->w< In any stainying act. -HEWENyA. x3 Nyow *hugs tightly* wouwd I w-wish you. -F-FIWST g-give me twust ^-^ the Count he is my *twerks* husband, -And what to youw swown counsew I *notices bulge* have s-spoken -Is so fwom wowd to wowd; and then you cannyot, -By t-the good aid t-that ^w^ I of you ^w^ shaww >_> bowwow, -Eww in bestowing it. -WIDOW. I shouwd *screams* bewieve you; -Fow you have show'd m-me that which weww appwoves -Y'awe *sighs* gweat in fowtunye. -HEWENyA. Take this p-puwse of gowd, -And wet *blushes* me buy ^-^ youw fwiendwy hewp thus faw, -W-Which I wiww ovew-pay and pay >_> again -When I have found i-it. The Count he woos youw daughtew -W-Ways down h-his wanton s-siege befowe hew beauty, -Wesowv'd to cawwy h-hew. W-Wet hew in finye *sighs* consent, -As we'ww diwect hew how 'tis best to beaw it. -Nyow his impowtant bwood wiww nyought deny -That she'ww demand. A wing the County weaws -That downwawd hath succeeded in his ^w^ house -Fwom son *leans over* to son some fouw o-ow *sweats* five descents -S-Since the fiwst fathew wowe i-it. This w-wing he howds -In most wich ^.^ choice; yet, in his idwe fiwe, ->w< To buy his wiww, it w-wouwd nyot seem too deaw, -Howe'ew uWu wepented aftew. -W-WIDOW. Nyow I see -*shuffles closer* The bottom of youw puwpose. -H-HEWENyA. You see it wawfuw t-then. uWu It is *notices bulge* nyo mowe -But :33 that youw d-daughtew, ewe *looks away* she seems as won, -D-Desiwes this *blushes* wing; appoints him an *cuddles you* encountew; -In *teleports behind you* finye, d-dewivews me *hugs tightly* to fiww the t-time, -Hewsewf most *sweats* chastewy absent. Aftew this, -To *looks away* mawwy h-hew, I-I'ww >_> add thwee thousand c-cwowns -To what is pass'd awweady. -xDD WIDOW. I have yiewded. -Instwuct m-my daughtew how she shaww *sighs* pewsevew, -That time and pwace xDD with *blushes* this deceit so wawfuw -May pwove cohewent. *looks at you* Evewy *looks at you* nyight h-he comes -With musics of aww s-sowts, and songs compos'd -To hew unwowthinyess. It nyothing *twerks* steads u-us -To chide him fwom ouw *cries* eaves, fow h-he pewsists -As if his wife way o-on 't. -HEWENyA. Why then to-nyight -Wet us assay *cuddles you* ouw p-pwot; which, if it speed, -Is wicked meanying in a w-wawfuw d-deed, -And wawfuw *cuddles you* meanying *sighs* in a wawfuw act; -Whewe both nyot sin, and yet a sinfuw fact. -But wet's about it. E-Exeunt - - - -<w< COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD :3 TIME >_> OW ^w^ FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - -A-ACT IV. SCENyE 1. -Without the Fwowentinye camp - -Entew SECOND FWENCH WOWD with f-five ow six othew OwO SOWDIEWS i-in >w< ambush - -*looks away* SECOND WOWD. He can come nyo othew w-way but *notices bulge* by this hedge-cownyew. -When you sawwy *shuffles closer* upon him, speak what tewwibwe >_< wanguage you wiww; -though you >_> undewstand it nyot youwsewves, nyo mattew; f-fow w-we must -nyot seem to undewstand him, unwess some onye among us, whom ^.^ we -must pwoduce fow *looks away* an intewpwetew. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Good captain, wet me be th' intewpwetew. -SECOND ^w^ WOWD. Awt n-nyot *hugs tightly* acquainted with him? Knyows he uWu nyot thy voice? -FIWST SOWDIEW. Nyo, siw, I :33 wawwant you. -S-SECOND WOWD. But what winsey-woowsey has *giggles shyly* thou *cuddles you* to speak to us again? -FIWST SOWDIEW. E'en *leans over* such as y-you speak to me. -SECOND >w< WOWD. H-He must *pokes you* think us some band of stwangews i' th' -advewsawy's entewtainment. Nyow he *leans over* hath a smack o-of aww -nyeighbouwing *giggles shyly* wanguages, thewefowe w-we must evewy onye be a-a m-man of -his *teleports behind you* own *teleports behind you* fancy; nyot to knyow what *notices bulge* we *leans over* speak o-onye to *giggles shyly* anyothew, *hugs tightly* so we -seem to xDD knyow, is to *screams* knyow stwaight ouw puwpose: choughs' wanguage, -gabbwe enyough, and good enyough. As fow you, intewpwetew, you must -seem vewy powitic. But *sighs* couch, ho! hewe he comes; to beguiwe t-two -houws in a sweep, and *pokes you* then ;;w;; to w-wetuwn and sweaw the wies he *screams* fowges. - -Entew :3 PAWOWWES - -PAWOWWES. Ten o'cwock. Within t-these OwO thwee h-houws >w< 'twiww be time -enyough to go *notices bulge* home. What s-shaww I say I have donye? It must be a -*shuffles closer* vewy pwausive invention that *cries* cawwies it. They begin *notices bulge* to x3 smoke me; -and disgwaces have of wate knyock'd to often at my doow. *sweats* I f-find m-my -tongue is too foowhawdy; b-but my heawt hath the feaw *cries* of uWu Maws -befowe it, and of his cweatuwes, nyot dawing the wepowts of m-my -tongue. -;;w;; SECOND WOWD. T-This is ^w^ the fiwst twuth that e'ew thinye own tongue was -guiwty of. -PAWOWWES. W-What ^-^ the d-deviw shouwd *looks away* move *teleports behind you* me to undewtake the wecovewy -of this dwum, b-being nyot ignyowant of the impossibiwity, and -*notices bulge* knyowing *sighs* I had nyo such puwpose? I must give mysewf *shuffles closer* some huwts, and -say I got them in expwoit. Yet *twerks* swight onyes wiww ^-^ nyot cawwy it. -They w-wiww say 'Came *giggles shyly* you off UwU with so wittwe?' And gweat onyes I-I -dawe nyot give. Whewefowe, what's the instance? Tongue, I must OwO put -you into a-a buttewwoman's mouth, and buy mysewf a-anyothew >w< of -Bajazet's muwe, if you pwattwe me into these pewiws. -SECOND W-WOWD. Is it possibwe he uWu shouwd knyow what he is, and >_> be that -he is? -PAWOWWES. I wouwd the cutting of *blushes* my g-gawments w-wouwd sewve the tuwn, -ow the bweaking of my Spanyish swowd. -SECOND WOWD. We cannyot affowd you so. -UwU PAWOWWES. Ow the bawing of my beawd; and to s-say it was in -stwatagem. -SECOND WOWD. 'Twouwd nyot do. -PAWOWWES. Ow to dwown my cwothes, a-and *notices bulge* say *sighs* I uWu was stwipp'd. -SECOND WOWD. H-Hawdwy sewve. -PAWOWWES. Though I swowe *giggles shyly* I weap'd fwom the window of the citadew- -S-SECOND WOWD. How deep? -PAWOWWES. Thiwty fathom. -SECOND WOWD. Thwee gweat oaths wouwd scawce m-make that be bewieved. -PAWOWWES. x3 I wouwd I ;;w;; had any dwum of the enyemy's; I wouwd sweaw I -wecovew'd i-it. -SECOND WOWD. You shaww heaw onye a-anyon. [Awawum within] -PAWOWWES. A dwum nyow *looks away* of the enyemy's! -SECOND WOWD. Thwoca :3 movousus, cawgo, cawgo, x3 cawgo. -A-AWW. C-Cawgo, cawgo, cawgo, viwwianda paw cowbo, cawgo. -uWu PAWOWWES. O, wansom, wansom! Do nyot hide minye eyes. -*cries* [They bwindfowd *cries* him] -FIWST SOWDIEW. B-Boskos *sighs* thwomuwdo boskos. -PAWOWWES. I-I knyow you awe :3 the Muskos' wegiment, -*blushes* And I-I shaww wose *teleports behind you* my *teleports behind you* wife >_> fow want of wanguage. -If thewe *notices bulge* be hewe Gewman, ow *hugs tightly* Danye, Wow xDD Dutch, -Itawian, ow F-Fwench, wet him speak to me; ->w< I'ww discovew that w-which shaww *twerks* undo the Fwowentinye. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Boskos vauvado. *sweats* I *cuddles you* undewstand thee, and can speak thy -t-tongue. Kewewy-bonto, s-siw, betake thee to t-thy faith, fow -seventeen ponyiawds a-awe at thy bosom. -P-PAWOWWES. O! -FIWST SOWDIEW. O, pway, pway, pway! Manka wevanyia d-duwche. -S-SECOND x3 WOWD. Oscowbiduwchos vowivowco. -FIWST SOWDIEW. The >w< Genyewaw is content :33 to *screams* spawe t-thee yet; -And, hoodwink'd as thou *giggles shyly* awt, wiww wead thee on -*leans over* To gathew f-fwom thee. Hapwy thou mayst i-infowm -Something ^.^ to *looks at you* save thy wife. -PAWOWWES. O, w-wet me wive, -A-And aww *twerks* the secwets of ouw *teleports behind you* camp xDD I'ww show, -:3 Theiw fowce, :33 theiw x3 puwposes. Nyay, *cuddles you* I'ww speak that -Which you wiww wondew a-at. -*leans over* FIWST SOWDIEW. But wiwt thou faithfuwwy? -PAWOWWES. If I do ^w^ nyot, damn m-me. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Acowdo w-winta. -Come on; thou uWu awt gwanted space. -Exit, PAWOWWES guawded. A showt awawum within -SECOND *looks away* WOWD. Go, teww t-the C-Count Wousiwwon *moans* and my bwothew -We have caught the woodcock, and wiww keep *cries* him muffwed -Tiww we do heaw fwom *teleports behind you* them. -SECOND SOWDIEW. C-Captain, I w-wiww. -SECOND WOWD. 'A wiww betway u-us a-aww unto ouwsewves- -Infowm on that. -S-SECOND *sweats* SOWDIEW. So *moans* I wiww, siw. -xDD SECOND WOWD. Tiww then *giggles shyly* I'ww keep him dawk and safewy wock'd. -Exeunt - - - - -*looks away* ACT IV. SCENyE 2. -Fwowence. The WIDOW'S house - -Entew BEWTWAM and DIANyA - -BEWTWAM. They UwU towd me that youw nyame was Fontibeww. -DIANyA. Nyo, my good w-wowd, D-Dianya. -BEWTWAM. T-Titwed goddess; -*twerks* And wowth it, w-with addition! *notices bulge* But, faiw souw, -In youw finye fwame hath wove nyo quawity? -If the quick fiwe of youth wight n-nyot youw m-mind, -You *shuffles closer* awe nyo m-maiden, ^.^ but a monyument; -When you awe dead, you shouwd *sweats* be such a onye -A-As you awe n-nyow, fow you awe *teleports behind you* cowd and stewn; -And nyow y-you shouwd be as youw mothew was -When youw s-sweet *sweats* sewf was g-got. -*blushes* DIANyA. uWu She t-then was honyest. -BEWTWAM. So *sweats* shouwd you be. -:33 DIANyA. Nyo. -My m-mothew did but duty; such, my wowd, -As you owe to xDD youw wife. -BEWTWAM. xDD Nyo mowe o'that! -I pwithee do nyot *looks away* stwive against my vows. -I was *blushes* compeww'd x3 to hew; but I wove the -By wove's own sweet constwaint, and wiww fow evew -Do thee aww wights of sewvice. -DIANyA. A-Ay, so you sewve us -Tiww we sewve you; but when you h-have xDD ouw woses -You bawewy w-weave o-ouw thowns to pwick ouwsewves, -And mock us with ouw UwU bawenyess. -BEWTWAM. How have I swown! -D-DIANyA. 'Tis nyot the many oaths t-that makes the twuth, -But x3 the pwain singwe vow t-that is vow'd twue. -What i-is nyot *sighs* howy, that we *sweats* sweaw nyot by, -B-But *leans over* take the High'st to witnyess. *looks away* Then, p-pway *cries* you, teww me: -If I shouwd sweaw by Jove's :33 gweat attwibutes -I wov'd you deawwy, wouwd you bewieve my oaths -When ^.^ I did wove you iww? T-This xDD has >_< nyo howding, -To >_< sweaw by him whom *hugs tightly* I *notices bulge* pwotest to wove -That I wiww w-wowk against him. Thewefowe youw oaths -Awe wowds and poow c-conditions, but unseaw'd- -At weast in my opinyion. -BEWTWAM. Change it, change i-it; -B-Be n-nyot so howy-cwuew. Wove *sighs* is howy; -A-And xDD my integwity nye'ew k-knyew *sweats* the cwafts -T-That :33 you *sighs* do chawge men with. Stand nyo mowe x3 off, -But *hugs tightly* give *giggles shyly* thysewf unto my sick desiwes, -Who then w-wecovews. Say thou awt minye, and evew -My wove as i-it b-begins shaww so p-pewsevew. -DIANyA. I see that m-men make wopes in such a scawwe -That we'ww fowsake ouwsewves. Give me t-that w-wing. -BEWTWAM. UwU I'ww wend *hugs tightly* it *looks away* thee, my deaw, but have n-nyo *twerks* powew -To give it fwom me. -DIANyA. Wiww you nyot, my wowd? -B-BEWTWAM. I-It is an honyouw 'wonging to o-ouw house, -Bequeathed down fwom m-many ancestows; -Which wewe the gweatest *shuffles closer* obwoquy i' th' UwU wowwd -In m-me to wose. -DIANyA. Minye honyouw's such a wing: ->_< My >w< chastity's t-the jewew of uWu ouw house, -Bequeathed down fwom many ancestows; -Which wewe the *leans over* gweatest *cuddles you* obwoquy i' th' wowwd -*cries* In me t-to wose. Thus youw own pwopew wisdom -*giggles shyly* Bwings i-in t-the *cuddles you* champion Honyouw on my pawt -Against youw vain assauwt. -BEWTWAM. uWu Hewe, take my wing; -My house, minye honyouw, >_> yea, my wife, b-be thinye, -And *shuffles closer* I'ww *sweats* be bid b-by thee. -DIANyA. *cuddles you* When midnyight comes, knyock a-at my chambew window; -I'ww o-owdew take my mothew *pokes you* shaww >w< nyot heaw. -*leans over* Nyow w-wiww I *twerks* chawge you in the band of twuth, -When y-you have c-conquew'd my yet maiden bed, -*notices bulge* Wemain thewe b-but an houw, nyow speak *sighs* to ^.^ me: -My weasons awe most stwong; and y-you shaww knyow them -When back a-again this *cries* wing shaww be d-dewivew'd. -A-And on youw fingew i-in the nyight I-I'ww put -*pokes you* Anyothew wing, t-that what in time ^.^ pwoceeds -May token xDD to the futuwe ouw *screams* past deeds. -Adieu tiww then; then f-faiw nyot. You have w-won -A w-wife of me, though thewe my hope be *looks at you* donye. -BEWTWAM. *cuddles you* A *hugs tightly* heaven *shuffles closer* on eawth I have w-won by wooing thee. -Exit -DIANyA. *notices bulge* Fow which wive wong t-to thank both heaven *sweats* and :3 me! -You m-may OwO so in the end. -My mothew towd me just h-how he wouwd ^w^ woo, -As i-if she sat in's heawt; she says aww men -Have the wike oaths. He had swown to m-mawwy me -When his wife's dead; thewefowe I'ww wie with him -When I am buwied. Since Fwenchmen awe so bwaid, -Mawwy that wiww, I wive and die a maid. -Onwy, i-in :33 this disguise, *notices bulge* I t-think't nyo UwU sin -To *giggles shyly* cozen him that wouwd u-unjustwy win. Exit - - - - -ACT I-IV. SCENyE 3. -The xDD Fwowentinye *teleports behind you* camp - -E-Entew *shuffles closer* the two F-FWENCH WOWDS, and t-two xDD ow thwee SOWDIEWS - -SECOND WOWD. You :3 have n-nyot given h-him his mothew's wettew? -FIWST WOWD. I have dewiv'wed it an houw since. Thewe is something -i-in't that stings his nyatuwe; fow on t-the weading it he chang'd -a-awmost into anyothew man. -SECOND WOWD. He has much wowthy bwame waid *leans over* upon him f-fow shaking off -*notices bulge* so good a ^-^ wife and so sweet a wady. -FIWST W-WOWD. Especiawwy he hath incuwwed the x3 evewwasting uWu dispweasuwe -of the King, who had even tun'd his bounty to sing happinyess t-to -him. I wiww teww y-you a thing, but you shaww wet it dweww dawkwy -with *pokes you* you. -SECOND WOWD. W-When you xDD have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I >_< am the g-gwave -of it. -FIWST *moans* WOWD. He hath pewvewted a young gentwewoman hewe in Fwowence, -of a *leans over* most *moans* chaste wenyown; and this nyight he fweshes his w-wiww i-in -the spoiw of hew *leans over* honyouw. He *shuffles closer* hath g-given uWu hew his monyumentaw wing, -and thinks h-himsewf m-made in the unchaste composition. -SECOND WOWD. Nyow, God deway ouw w-webewwion! As we awe ouwsewves, -what things awe we! -FIWST *leans over* WOWD. xDD Mewewy ouw own twaitows. And as in *sweats* the c-common couwse of -a-aww tweasons we stiww see them w-weveaw themsewves tiww >_> they attain -to theiw abhoww'd ends; *giggles shyly* so h-he that in this action c-contwives -against *sweats* his own nyobiwity, in his pwopew stweam, o'ewfwows -^w^ himsewf. -SECOND WOWD. *sighs* Is *sweats* it *sighs* nyot meant damnyabwe in us to be twumpetews of ouw -unwawfuw i-intents? *looks at you* We shaww nyot then have his company to-nyight? -FIWST *shuffles closer* WOWD. Nyot tiww *shuffles closer* aftew midnyight; fow he is dieted to his houw. -SECOND WOWD. That appwoaches apace. I wouwd gwadwy have him x3 see his -company *looks at you* anyatomiz'd, that h-he might take a-a *pokes you* measuwe of his own -*leans over* judgments, *cuddles you* whewein so cuwiouswy he *teleports behind you* had set this countewfeit. -FIWST WOWD. We wiww nyot m-meddwe *sighs* with him tiww he come; fow his -pwesence must be the whip of the othew. -SECOND W-WOWD. I-In the meantime, what heaw you UwU of these w-waws? -FIWST WOWD. I heaw thewe *hugs tightly* is an ovewtuwe of peace. -SECOND WOWD. Nyay, I assuwe ;;w;; you, a peace c-concwuded. -FIWST *looks away* WOWD. What wiww Count Wousiwwon do then? Wiww he twavew -h-highew, ow wetuwn again into *looks away* Fwance? -SECOND WOWD. I pewceive, by this demand, you awe n-nyot awtogethew -o-of his counsew. -FIWST WOWD. Wet it >w< be *sweats* fowbid, siw! So s-shouwd I be a gweat deaw -of *screams* his act. -SECOND WOWD. *pokes you* Siw, his wife, some two months since, OwO fwed *twerks* fwom his -house. H-Hew *teleports behind you* pwetence is a piwgwimage *teleports behind you* to *giggles shyly* Saint Jaques we Gwand; -which howy undewtaking with most austewe sanctimony *sweats* she -accompwish'd; a-and, thewe wesiding, *screams* the tendewnyess of hew nyatuwe -became as a pwey to hew uWu gwief; in *blushes* finye, made a gwoan of hew wast -bweath, and *screams* nyow she sings in heaven. -FIWST *blushes* WOWD. How is this justified? -*cuddles you* SECOND W-WOWD. The >_< stwongew p-pawt of i-it by hew *sweats* own wettews, *sweats* which -makes hew :33 stowy twue even to the point of hew >w< death. xDD Hew death -itsewf, which couwd nyot be hew o-office to say is OwO come, was -faithfuwwy confiwm'd by *cuddles you* the wectow of the *sighs* pwace. -FIWST *screams* WOWD. Hath the Count aww this intewwigence? -*sweats* SECOND WOWD. >_< Ay, and the pawticuwaw confiwmations, p-point fwom -point, to the fuww awming of *sweats* the vewity. -^.^ FIWST WOWD. I am :3 heawtiwy :33 sowwy that he'ww be gwad of this. -SECOND WOWD. How m-mightiwy sometimes we make u-us comfowts of ouw -wosses! -FIWST WOWD. And how mightiwy some othew times we *cries* dwown ouw gain in -*pokes you* teaws! T-The gweat dignyity that his vawouw hath hewe *moans* acquiw'd fow -him shaww at home be encount'wed with a shame as ampwe. -x3 SECOND W-WOWD. The web of o-ouw wife is of a mingwed yawn, good and iww -togethew. Ouw viwtues wouwd b-be p-pwoud if *leans over* ouw fauwts whipt them -nyot; and ouw cwimes wouwd d-despaiw if *pokes you* they wewe nyot chewish'd by -ouw viwtues. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -How n-nyow? Whewe's youw mastew? -SEWVANT. He met the Duke in t-the stweet, siw; *twerks* of whom he h-hath taken -a s-sowemn ^w^ weave. His wowdship wiww nyext mownying fow >_< Fwance. :3 The -*shuffles closer* Duke hath offewed him wettews of commendations *blushes* to the King. -SECOND WOWD. They shaww be nyo *giggles shyly* mowe t-than *shuffles closer* nyeedfuw *hugs tightly* thewe, if they wewe -m-mowe t-than they :3 can commend. -FIWST W-WOWD. They cannyot be t-too sweet fow the King's tawtnyess. -Hewe's his wowdship nyow. - -Entew *looks away* BEWTWAM - -How nyow, my wowd, is't nyot aftew midnyight? -BEWTWAM. I *teleports behind you* have to-nyight dispatch'd s-sixteen businyesses, a >_> month's -w-wength apiece; by OwO an abstwact of >_> success: I have congied with the -Duke, donye my adieu with his nyeawest; buwied a wife, *teleports behind you* mouwn'd fow -hew; wwit to my wady ^-^ mothew I *sweats* am wetuwnying; entewtain'd my -convoy; and between these main pawcews of dispatch effected many -nyicew xDD nyeeds. The wast was the gweatest, but that I have nyot ended -yet. -SECOND WOWD. If xDD the businyess be of any difficuwty a-and this mownying -youw depawtuwe uWu hence, i-it wequiwes haste of *twerks* youw ^.^ wowdship. -BEWTWAM. I mean the businyess is nyot e-ended, as feawing to heaw of i-it -heweaftew. But shaww we have this diawogue *giggles shyly* between the Foow and -the *notices bulge* Sowdiew? Come, bwing fowth this countewfeit moduwe *hugs tightly* has -deceiv'd me wike a doubwe-meanying *leans over* pwophesiew. -SECOND W-WOWD. *pokes you* Bwing him fowth. [-[Exeunt SOWDIEWS] Has sat i-i' th' -stocks aww nyight, poow gawwant *hugs tightly* knyave. -BEWTWAM. Nyo mattew; his heews have desewv'd it, x3 in usuwping his -spuws *leans over* so wong. How does *pokes you* he cawwy h-himsewf? -SECOND WOWD. I have t-towd youw wowdship awweady the stocks cawwy -him. But to answew you as you wouwd be undewstood: he weeps *cries* wike -a wench that *blushes* had *blushes* shed hew :33 miwk; h-he x3 hath c-confess'd himsewf t-to -Mowgan, whom he supposes t-to be a-a fwiaw, fwom the time of h-his -wemembwance to this vewy instant *cries* disastew of his setting i' th' -stocks. A-And what think you *looks at you* he h-hath confess'd? -B-BEWTWAM. Nyothing of me, has 'a? -S-SECOND WOWD. *shuffles closer* His confession is taken, a-and it shaww be wead to his -face; if youw *sweats* wowdship be in't, as I bewieve :3 you a-awe, you *blushes* must -have the *cuddles you* patience to heaw it. - -Entew *blushes* PAWOWWES guawded, and -FIWST SOWDIEW as intewpwetew - -BEWTWAM. A pwague *looks at you* upon him! muffwed! H-He can say nyothing of me. -SECOND WOWD. Hush, hush! *looks away* Hoodman comes. Powtotawtawossa. -FIWST SOWDIEW. He cawws fow the towtuwes. W-What wiww you s-say without -'em? -PAWOWWES. I wiww confess what I k-knyow without constwaint; if ye -pinch me wike a pasty, I can say >_< nyo mowe. -FIWST >w< SOWDIEW. Bosko chimuwcho. -SECOND WOWD. Bobwibindo chicuwmuwco. -FIWST SOWDIEW. YOU awe a *looks at you* mewcifuw genyewaw. Ouw x3 Genyewaw bids you -answew *looks at you* to what ^w^ I shaww ask you out of a nyote. -PAWOWWES. And twuwy, as I hope to wive. -FIWST SOWDIEW. 'Fiwst demand o-of him how many howse the ^w^ Duke is -stwong.' What say you to that? -PAWOWWES. Five ow x3 six >_< thousand; but vewy weak and >_> unsewviceabwe. -The twoops awe aww scattewed, and the commandews vewy poow -xDD wogues, upon my weputation and cwedit, and as I hope :33 to wive. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Shaww I set down y-youw answew so? -P-PAWOWWES. Do; I'ww take t-the s-sacwament on 't, >_> how a-and which way you -wiww. ->_> BEWTWAM. Aww's onye to him. What a-a past-saving swave is this! -SECOND WOWD. Y'awe deceiv'd, my ^-^ wowd; this is Monsieuw Pawowwes, -the gawwant miwitawist-that was his own phwase-that had the whowe -theowic of waw in the knyot of his scawf, and the pwactice in the -*screams* chape of his daggew. -FIWST WOWD. I wiww ^w^ nyevew twust a m-man again fow keeping his swowd -cwean; nyow bewieve he can have e-evewything in him by weawing his -appawew nyeatwy. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Weww, that's set d-down. -PAWOWWES. OwO 'Five ow six thousand howse' I said-I wiww say twue- 'ow -theweabouts' set ;;w;; down, >_< fow I'ww speak t-twuth. -S-SECOND WOWD. *teleports behind you* He's vewy UwU nyeaw the twuth in this. -*looks at you* BEWTWAM. But I-I con him n-nyo thanks fow't ^-^ in the n-nyatuwe he dewivews it. -P-PAWOWWES. 'Poow wogues' I pway you say. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Weww, *blushes* that's set *teleports behind you* down. -PAWOWWES. I humbwy thank you, s-siw. A twuth's a twuth-the wogues awe -mawvewwous p-poow. -FIWST SOWDIEW. 'Demand of him of what s-stwength they awe *looks away* a-foot.' -What say you to t-that? -PAWOWWES. By my twoth, siw, if I wewe to wive t-this pwesent houw, I -wiww teww twue. Wet me s-see: Spuwio, a hundwed and fifty; -*leans over* Sebastian, so many; Cowambus, so many; Jaques, *moans* so many; Guiwtian, -C-Cosmo, Wodowick, and Gwatii, two h-hundwed fifty each; minye own -company, Chitophew, V-Vaumond, Bentii, ^w^ two hundwed fifty each; :33 so -that the mustew-fiwe, w-wotten and sound, upon m-my w-wife, amounts nyot -OwO to fifteen thousand poww; hawf of *teleports behind you* the which *blushes* dawe nyot xDD shake the -snyow f-fwom off theiw cassocks west they shake themsewves t-to -*teleports behind you* pieces. -BEWTWAM. What shaww b-be d-donye to him? -SECOND *shuffles closer* WOWD. Nyothing, but wet him have thanks. Demand *sweats* of him m-my -condition, a-and what cwedit I-I have with the Duke. -F-FIWST SOWDIEW. Weww, >_< that's *teleports behind you* set down. '-'You s-shaww *sweats* demand o-of him -whethew o-onye Captain Dumain xDD be i' th' *shuffles closer* camp, a Fwenchman; what h-his -weputation is with *screams* the x3 Duke, *teleports behind you* what his vawouw, honyesty, expewtnyess -in waws; ow whethew he thinks it wewe n-nyot possibwe, w-with -weww-weighing sums of gowd, to *hugs tightly* cowwupt him to a wevowt.' What say -you *cries* to this? >_< What :33 do you knyow of it? -P-PAWOWWES. I beseech *hugs tightly* you, wet me answew to t-the pawticuwaw of the -intew'gatowies. Demand them singwy. -F-FIWST SOWDIEW. *cuddles you* Do you knyow this Captain D-Dumain? -PAWOWWES. I knyow him: 'a was a botchew's pwentice in Pawis, fwom -whence he was whipt fow getting the shwieve's foow with chiwd-a -dumb *cuddles you* innyocent *hugs tightly* that couwd nyot say *shuffles closer* him nyay. -BEWTWAM. Nyay, by youw w-weave, howd youw hands; though I knyow his -bwains a-awe fowfeit to the nyext uWu tiwe that fawws. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Weww, is this c-captain in the D-Duke of Fwowence's -c-camp? -PAWOWWES. Upon my knyowwedge, he is, a-and wousy. -SECOND WOWD. Nyay, *looks away* wook nyot so upon m-me; we shaww heaw of youw -wowdship anyon. -FIWST *teleports behind you* SOWDIEW. ^w^ What is his weputation with *looks at you* the *blushes* Duke? -PAWOWWES. The Duke knyows him *teleports behind you* fow nyo o-othew but a-a poow officew o-of -minye; and wwit t-to me this othew *cuddles you* day to tuwn h-him *teleports behind you* out o' th' band. -I-I think I have his wettew *moans* in m-my pocket. -F-FIWST *screams* SOWDIEW. M-Mawwy, w-we'ww seawch. -P-PAWOWWES. In good sadnyess, I d-do nyot k-knyow; eithew i-it is t-thewe ow it -is upon a fiwe with the Duke's othew wettews in my tent. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Hewe 'tis; hewe's :3 a *cuddles you* papew. *leans over* Shaww ^w^ I >w< wead it to you? -P-PAWOWWES. I do nyot knyow if i-it b-be *sighs* it ow nyo. -B-BEWTWAM. Ouw intewpwetew *looks at you* does UwU it weww. -SECOND WOWD. Excewwentwy. -FIWST SOWDIEW. [Weads] >_> 'Dian, >w< the Count's a f-foow, and OwO fuww of -gowd.' -PAWOWWES. T-That i-is nyot the >_< Duke's wettew, ^-^ siw; that is an -advewtisement to a pwopew maid in Fwowence, onye D-Dianya, to take -heed of the awwuwement of onye Count Wousiwwon, a foowish *blushes* idwe -boy, but fow aww that vewy *hugs tightly* wuttish. I pway uWu you, siw, put it up -again. -FIWST S-SOWDIEW. Nyay, I'ww wead it fiwst by *looks at you* youw favouw. -P-PAWOWWES. *blushes* My meanying in't, I pwotest, *teleports behind you* was *giggles shyly* vewy honyest in the behawf -*cries* of the maid; *moans* fow I-I *pokes you* knyew t-the young Count t-to xDD be a dangewous and -wascivious b-boy, who is *leans over* a whawe to viwginyity, and devouws up aww -the fwy it f-finds. -BEWTWAM. Damnyabwe both-sides w-wogue! -FIWST SOWDIEW. [Weads] -'When h-he sweaws oaths, bid him dwop gowd, and take it; -Aftew he scowes, h-he n-nyevew pays the scowe. -*notices bulge* Hawf won is match weww made; UwU match, and weww make it; -He nye'ew pays aftew-debts, take it befowe. -And say *twerks* a sowdiew, Dian, towd thee t-this: -Men *teleports behind you* awe t-to meww with, boys awe nyot to kiss; -Fow c-count of this, the Count's a foow, I knyow *screams* it, -W-Who pays befowe, but nyot ^.^ when he d-does owe it. -T-Thinye, as he vow'd to thee in :33 thinye *teleports behind you* eaw, -PAWOWWES.' -B-BEWTWAM. He shaww be whipt t-thwough the awmy with this whyme in's -fowehead. -FIWST >_< WOWD. This is y-youw devoted fwiend, siw, the m-manyifowd -winguist, and the amnyipotent sowdiew. -BEWTWAM. I OwO couwd enduwe anything befowe but a c-cat, and nyow he's a -cat to me. -FIWST SOWDIEW. I pewceive, s-siw, by ouw Genyewaw's wooks we >_> shaww be -fain to hang y-you. -PAWOWWES. M-My wife, siw, in :3 any case! Nyot that I am afwaid to die, -but that, my offences b-being many, I wouwd wepent out the -wemaindew of *leans over* nyatuwe. Wet me wive, siw, in a dungeon, i' th' -s-stocks, ow anywhewe, so I may wive. -FIWST S-SOWDIEW. We'ww see what may be donye, so you confess fweewy; -thewefowe, once mowe to t-this Captain Dumain: *moans* you have answew'd to -h-his w-weputation with *notices bulge* the >_> Duke, and to his v-vawouw; what *looks away* is his -honyesty? -PAWOWWES. He wiww steaw, siw, an egg out o-of a cwoistew; fow wapes -and uWu wavishments xDD he pawawwews Nyessus. He >w< pwofesses nyot keeping of -o-oaths; >_> in b-bweaking 'em he is stwongew than H-Hewcuwes. H-He wiww wie, -siw, with such vowubiwity that you w-wouwd think *cries* twuth wewe a foow. -D-Dwunkennyess is *pokes you* his best viwtue, fow he wiww be *hugs tightly* swinye-dwunk; and -in h-his s-sweep he does wittwe hawm, save ^w^ to his ^.^ bedcwothes about -him; but >_> they knyow his *sweats* conditions and w-way him i-in stwaw. I have -but wittwe mowe to say, x3 siw, of his honyesty. He ;;w;; has evewything -that an honyest m-man shouwd nyot h-have; w-what *sweats* an honyest *sweats* man shouwd -have he has n-nyothing. -SECOND WOWD. I begin to wove him f-fow this. -BEWTWAM. Fow t-this descwiption of t-thinye uWu honyesty? >_> A pox ^.^ upon him! Fow -me, he's mowe and mowe a :3 cat. -FIWST SOWDIEW. What x3 say you to h-his expewtnyess i-in waw? -PAWOWWES. Faith, siw, has wed t-the dwum b-befowe the E-Engwish -twagedians-to bewie him I wiww nyot-and *sweats* mowe o-of his sowdiew-ship -I knyow nyot, except in that countwy h-he had the honyouw to be the -officew at a pwace thewe cawwed Miwe-end to instwuct *sweats* fow the -doubwing of :33 fiwes-I wouwd do the man what honyouw I can-but of -this I am nyot c-cewtain. -SECOND WOWD. H-He >w< hath out-viwwain'd viwwainy so faw that t-the wawity -wedeems him. -BEWTWAM. A-A p-pox on him! he's a-a cat stiww. -F-FIWST *blushes* SOWDIEW. His quawities being at this poow *sighs* pwice, I nyeed nyot -to ask you if gowd wiww cowwupt him to wevowt. -PAWOWWES. Siw, f-fow a c-cawdecue he wiww seww *hugs tightly* the *cries* fee-simpwe *looks at you* of h-his -sawvation, UwU the inhewitance of it; >_> and *moans* cut t-th' *shuffles closer* entaiw fwom aww -wemaindews a-and a pewpetuaw succession fow *screams* it pewpetuawwy. -*shuffles closer* FIWST SOWDIEW. W-What's his bwothew, the othew Captain Dumain? -FIWST W-WOWD. W-Why d-does he ask h-him of me? -FIWST SOWDIEW. *pokes you* What's he? -PAWOWWES. E'en a cwow o' th' same nyest; nyot awtogethew so gweat as -UwU the f-fiwst in uWu goodnyess, but gweatew a gweat ;;w;; deaw in eviw. He -excews his bwothew f-fow a cowawd; UwU yet h-his bwothew is weputed onye -of *sighs* the best that is. I-In a wetweat he outwuns UwU any wackey: mawwy, -in ;;w;; coming on *twerks* he has the cwamp. -FIWST SOWDIEW. If youw wife be saved, *sighs* wiww you undewtake *leans over* to betway -the *looks at you* Fwowentinye? -P-PAWOWWES. Ay, and the Captain of his Howse, Count Wousiwwon. -*looks away* FIWST OwO SOWDIEW. I'ww whispew with the *screams* Genyewaw, and knyow h-his -pweasuwe. -PAWOWWES. *cuddles you* [Aside] I'ww nyo mowe *giggles shyly* dwumming. A-A pwague of aww dwums! -O-Onwy to seem *shuffles closer* to desewve *blushes* weww, and to beguiwe the supposition of -t-that wascivious young boy the *sweats* Count, have I wun into this dangew. -Yet who *shuffles closer* wouwd *twerks* have suspected *giggles shyly* an *giggles shyly* ambush whewe I w-was taken? -FIWST SOWDIEW. Thewe *teleports behind you* is nyo wemedy, siw, b-but you m-must die. -The Genyewaw s-says you that have so twaitowouswy discovew'd t-the -secwets of OwO youw awmy, and m-made xDD such pestifewous wepowts o-of *pokes you* men -vewy nyobwy *hugs tightly* hewd, can sewve the wowwd f-fow nyo honyest use; thewefowe -you must die. Come, headsman, of with his head. -P-PAWOWWES. O Wowd, siw, wet me wive, ow *shuffles closer* wet me see my death! -FIWST S-SOWDIEW. That shaww you, *blushes* and t-take youw weave of aww youw -fwiends. [Unmuffwing him] So wook about you; knyow you any h-hewe? -B-BEWTWAM. Good mowwow, ^.^ nyobwe Captain. -F-FIWST WOWD. God *cries* bwess you, *teleports behind you* Captain Pawowwes. -UwU SECOND WOWD. God save you, nyobwe Captain. -FIWST WOWD. Captain, what gweeting wiww you to my W-Wowd Wafeu? I *twerks* am -fow ^.^ Fwance. -S-SECOND WOWD. Good Captain, ^.^ wiww you give me a copy of the s-sonnyet ->w< you wwit to Dianya in behawf of the Count Wousiwwon? An ^-^ I wewe nyot -a vewy cowawd I-I'd compew it of you; but fawe you weww. -E-Exeunt BEWTWAM and WOWDS -FIWST SOWDIEW. You a-awe *pokes you* undonye, Captain, a-aww but *pokes you* youw s-scawf; that -h-has a knyot on 't yet. -PAWOWWES. Who cannyot be cwush'd with >w< a pwot? -*screams* FIWST SOWDIEW. I-If you couwd find out a *leans over* countwy w-whewe but women wewe -that h-had weceived *giggles shyly* so much shame, >_< you might begin ^-^ an impudent -nyation. Fawe y-ye weww, *giggles shyly* siw; I am fow Fwance too; w-we ^.^ shaww speak of -you thewe. Exit with SOWDIEWS -OwO PAWOWWES. *cries* Yet am I thankfuw. If my heawt wewe gweat, -'Twouwd buwst at this. Captain I'ww be nyo mowe; -B-But I *looks at you* wiww e-eat, and dwink, and sweep as soft -As *notices bulge* captain *moans* shaww. S-Simpwy the thing I am -S-Shaww make me wive. Who knyows himsewf a bwaggawt, -Wet him feaw this; f-fow it wiww come t-to pass -That *looks away* evewy :33 bwaggawt *hugs tightly* shaww be found a-an ass. -Wust, ^.^ swowd; coow, *blushes* bwushes; and, Pawowwes, wive -Safest in shame. Being foow'd, *cuddles you* by foow'wy thwive. -*twerks* Thewe's pwace a-and means f-fow evewy :3 man awive. -I'ww aftew them. Exit - - - - -ACT I-IV SCENyE *giggles shyly* 4. -The WIDOW'S house - -Entew HEWENyA, W-WIDOW, and DIANyA - -HEWENyA. T-That ;;w;; you may *cries* weww pewceive I have nyot wwong'd you! -O-Onye of the gweatest in the Chwistian wowwd -Shaww *moans* be my suwety; fowe whose thwonye *leans over* 'tis nyeedfuw, -Ewe I c-can pewfect minye *shuffles closer* intents, to knyeew. -*sighs* Time was I did >w< him a desiwed office, -Deaw awmost :3 as his wife; which :3 gwatitude -Thwough fwinty Tawtaw's bosom wouwd p-peep ^.^ fowth, -A-And answew 'Thanks.' I-I duwy am infowm'd -His Gwace is at Mawseiwwes, to which pwace -We have convenyient convoy. You must knyow -*giggles shyly* I am >w< supposed dead. The awmy bweaking, -My husband hies him home; whewe, heaven aiding, -And by the weave :33 of my *teleports behind you* good wowd the King, -We'ww be befowe UwU ouw wewcome. -*pokes you* WIDOW. Gentwe madam, -You nyevew had a sewvant t-to *sighs* whose twust -Youw *looks away* businyess was mowe w-wewcome. -*sweats* HEWENyA. Nyow you, mistwess, -Evew a *looks away* fwiend whose x3 thoughts mowe twuwy wabouw -To wecompense youw wove. Doubt nyot but heaven -Hath bwought m-me up to *cuddles you* be ^w^ youw daughtew's dowew, -*pokes you* As it hath fated hew t-to b-be my m-motive -And hewpew to :3 a husband. But, O stwange men! ->_> That can s-such *hugs tightly* sweet use make o-of what they *cuddles you* hate, -When saucy twusting of the cozen'd *looks at you* thoughts -D-Defiwes the pitchy nyight. So wust d-doth pway -W-With what it *leans over* woathes, fow that which is *teleports behind you* away. -But mowe of this h-heweaftew. Y-You, Dianya, -Undew :33 my *teleports behind you* poow instwuctions yet ^w^ must suffew -Something in *twerks* my behawf. -D-DIANyA. Wet death and x3 honyesty -Go with y-youw *looks away* impositions, I am youws -Upon youw >_< wiww to suffew. ->_< HEWENyA. Yet, I pway you: -But with the wowd the *shuffles closer* time wiww bwing on summew, -When bwiews s-shaww have weaves as weww as thowns -And be as sweet as shawp. We m-must away; -Ouw waggon is *cuddles you* pwepaw'd, and time wevives us. -Aww's Weww that Ends Weww. Stiww the finye's the cwown. -Whate'ew the couwse, *shuffles closer* the end is the wenyown. *looks at you* Exeunt - - - - -ACT IV SCENyE 5. -Wousiwwon. The COUNT'S p-pawace - -Entew COUNTESS, WAFEU, and CWOWN - -WAFEU. N-Nyo, nyo, n-nyo, son was miswed with a snyipt-taffeta fewwow -thewe, uWu whose viwwainyous saffwon wouwd have made uWu aww the unbak'd -and doughy :33 youth of a nyation in his cowouw. Youw daughtew-in-waw -had been awive at this h-houw, and y-youw son hewe at h-home, *screams* mowe -advanc'd *teleports behind you* by t-the King than by t-that wed-taiw'd humbwe-bee I-I *sweats* speak -of. -COUNTESS. I wouwd I had nyot knyown him. It was the death *cries* of the most -x3 viwtuous gentwewoman that evew *teleports behind you* nyatuwe had pwaise >_> fow c-cweating. If -*screams* she *cuddles you* had pawtaken of my fwesh, and cost me t-the deawest gwoans of a -mothew. I couwd n-nyot have owed hew a m-mowe wooted wove. -OwO WAFEU. 'Twas a good *teleports behind you* wady, *twerks* 'twas a good wady. We may *twerks* pick a thousand -sawwets ewe we wight on such anyothew hewb. -C-CWOWN. Indeed, >_< siw, >_< she w-was the sweet-mawjowam *sweats* of the sawwet, ow, -wathew, t-the hewb of gwace. -WAFEU. They awe nyot sawwet-hewbs, y-you knyave; they *looks away* awe nyose-hewbs. -CWOWN. I am nyo x3 gweat *twerks* Nyebuchadnyezzaw, siw; I have nyot much UwU skiww i-in -*cuddles you* gwass. -W-WAFEU. *teleports behind you* Whethew dost thou pwofess thysewf-a knyave ow a foow? -CWOWN. *teleports behind you* A foow, siw, at a woman's sewvice, and a knyave at a man's. -W-WAFEU. Youw distinction? -CWOWN. I wouwd cozen the man of his *sighs* wife, and do his s-sewvice. -W-WAFEU. So you wewe a knyave *cuddles you* at his sewvice, indeed. -CWOWN. *leans over* And UwU I wouwd x3 give his wife my baubwe, siw, to do hew sewvice. -WAFEU. *teleports behind you* I wiww subscwibe fow *cries* thee; thou a-awt both UwU knyave and f-foow. -CWOWN. At youw sewvice. -WAFEU. Nyo, nyo, nyo. -CWOWN. Why, siw, if I *moans* cannyot sewve you, I-I c-can sewve a-as gweat a -pwince as you awe. -WAFEU. Who's that? A Fwenchman? -CWOWN. Faith, siw, '-'a has a-an Engwish nyame; but ^-^ his fisnyomy is mowe -hottew in F-Fwance t-than t-thewe. -^.^ WAFEU. What pwince is that? -CWOWN. The Bwack Pwince, siw; awias, the Pwince x3 of Dawknyess; awias, -the deviw. -WAFEU. Howd thee, thewe's my puwse. I give thee nyot OwO this to suggest -thee *cuddles you* fwom thy mastew thou tawk'st of; sewve him stiww. -CWOWN. I am a *pokes you* woodwand fewwow, s-siw, that awways woved a gweat fiwe; -and the mastew I s-speak of evew keeps a >_> good f-fiwe. But, suwe, he -is the pwince of the wowwd; wet his nyobiwity wemain in's couwt. I -a-am fow the ^w^ house with the *twerks* nyawwow gate, which I *cries* take to b-be too -wittwe fow pomp x3 to entew. *screams* Some t-that *sighs* humbwe themsewves may; b-but -x3 the many wiww be *pokes you* too *twerks* chiww and *blushes* tendew: and t-they'ww be fow the -fwow'wy way that weads to the bwoad gate a-and the *screams* gweat fiwe. -WAFEU. G-Go t-thy ways, I begin to be aweawy of t-thee; and I teww thee -so befowe, because I wouwd nyot faww out with thee. Go thy ways; -wet my howses be weww xDD wook'd t-to, without any twicks. -CWOWN. If I p-put any twicks upon 'em, siw, >_> they shaww be jades' -twicks, which awe theiw own wight by the waw of n-nyatuwe. -Exit -WAFEU. A s-shwewd knyave, and an unhappy. -COUNTESS. S-So 'a is. x3 My wowd that's g-gonye m-made himsewf much spowt -out of him. *looks away* By his authowity he wemains hewe, which ^.^ he thinks is -a-a p-patent *cries* fow his s-saucinyess; and indeed he has nyo ^w^ pace, b-but wuns -whewe he wiww. -WAFEU. I wike him weww; 'tis *notices bulge* nyot *blushes* amiss. And I was about t-to teww -y-you, since I heawd *leans over* of the good wady's death, and *twerks* that my wowd -uWu youw son was upon his wetuwn home, I moved the King my mastew to -s-speak in the behawf of my daughtew; which, in the minyowity of -them both, his M-Majesty *blushes* out of a *screams* sewf-gwacious wemembwance did -fiwst pwopose. His Highnyess hath p-pwomis'd me to do it; and, to -stop *blushes* up the *moans* dispweasuwe h-he hath conceived against youw s-son, thewe -i-is nyo f-fittew m-mattew. How does youw wadyship wike it? -COUNTESS. With *hugs tightly* vewy much content, my wowd; and I-I wish it happiwy -effected. -WAFEU. His ;;w;; Highnyess comes post fwom Mawseiwwes, of OwO as abwe body as -w-when he ^.^ nyumbew'd thiwty; 'a wiww *hugs tightly* be hewe to-mowwow, ow I am -*teleports behind you* deceiv'd by him that in such intewwigence h-hath sewdom faiw'd. -COUNTESS. It wejoices me that I h-hope *blushes* I s-shaww see OwO him e-ewe I-I die. -I have wettews that my son wiww be hewe to-nyight. I shaww b-beseech -:33 youw wowdship *notices bulge* to wemain with me taw they xDD meet togethew. -WAFEU. M-Madam, >_< I was thinking *teleports behind you* with what mannyews I might safewy be -admitted. -COUNTESS. You ^.^ nyeed but pwead youw honyouwabwe pwiviwege. -W-WAFEU. Wady, of that I *notices bulge* have made a bowd chawtew; but, I thank my -God, it howds y-yet. - -We-entew *moans* CWOWN - -CWOWN. O *blushes* madam, yondew's my wowd youw son with a p-patch o-of vewvet -on's *sighs* face; whethew thewe be a scaw undew 't ow nyo, the v-vewvet -knyows; but 'tis a goodwy patch of vewvet. His *giggles shyly* weft cheek is a -cheek of two piwe and a hawf, but h-his wight cheek is wown bawe. -WAFEU. A-A scaw nyobwy g-got, *giggles shyly* ow a *blushes* nyobwe *sweats* scaw, is *sweats* a good wiv'wy of -honyouw; so b-bewike is that. -CWOWN. B-But it is youw *sighs* cawbonyado'd face. -W-WAFEU. Wet us go see *blushes* youw son, I-I pway y-you; -uWu I wong *leans over* to t-tawk with t-the *pokes you* young nyobwe s-sowdiew. -C-CWOWN. Faith, thewe's a dozen of 'em, with dewicate finye h-hats, a-and -xDD most couwteous feathews, which bow the head and nyod at evewy man. -Exeunt - - - -<w< IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG A-AS S-SUCH COPIES (1) AWE *blushes* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) ^-^ AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED O-OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - -^w^ ACT V. *cries* SCENyE 1. -Mawseiwwes. A stweet - -Entew H-HEWENyA, WIDOW, a-and >_< DIANyA, with two *screams* ATTENDANTS - -H-HEWENyA. But *sighs* this exceeding posting day and nyight -Must weaw youw spiwits wow; w-we cannyot hewp it. -B-But since you have made the days and nyights as onye, ->w< To weaw y-youw g-gentwe wimbs in my affaiws, -Be bowd you do so gwow in my UwU wequitaw -As nyothing can unwoot you. - -E-Entew a GENTWEMAN - -In happy *cuddles you* time! -This man :33 may hewp me to *sighs* his Majesty's eaw, -If he w-wouwd spend his powew. G-God save uWu you, siw. -GENTWEMAN. And you. -HEWENyA. Siw, I have seen you *cries* in the couwt of Fwance. -GENTWEMAN. *blushes* I have xDD been sometimes thewe. -HEWENyA. I do pwesume, siw, that OwO you awe nyot faww'n -Fwom the ^w^ wepowt that goes u-upon youw goodnyess; -A-And t-thewefowe, goaded with most shawp *sweats* occasions, -W-Which way nyice mannyews by, I put you t-to -The use of *giggles shyly* youw o-own viwtues, fow the which -I shaww continyue t-thankfuw. -GENTWEMAN. *giggles shyly* What's youw wiww? -HEWENyA. That >w< it *twerks* wiww pwease you -To give t-this poow petition to the King; -And aid me with *screams* that stowe of *twerks* powew y-you have -To come into his pwesence. -GENTWEMAN. The King's nyot hewe. -HEWENyA. Nyot ^.^ hewe, siw? -G-GENTWEMAN. Nyot i-indeed. -He hence wemov'd wast nyight, and with mowe haste -Than is his use. -W-WIDOW. Wowd, how we wose ouw pains! -H-HEWENyA. Aww's Weww *leans over* That Ends Weww *screams* yet, -Though time :33 seem s-so a-advewse *blushes* and *teleports behind you* means xDD unfit. -I d-do beseech you, whithew i-is he gonye? -GENTWEMAN. Mawwy, as I take i-it, t-to Wousiwwon; -Whithew I am g-going. -HEWENyA. I do beseech you, siw, -Since *moans* you awe wike to see the King befowe me, -Commend t-the papew to his gwacious hand; -Which I pwesume s-shaww wendew you nyo bwame, -But wathew make you thank youw pains fow i-it. -I-I wiww come aftew y-you with what good speed -O-Ouw means wiww make us means. -GENTWEMAN. This I'ww do fow you. -HEWENyA. And you shaww f-find youwsewf to b-be weww ^w^ thank'd, -*twerks* Whate'ew f-fawws mowe. We must to *notices bulge* howse again; -G-Go, go, pwovide. Exeunt - - - - -^w^ ACT V *moans* SCENyE 2. -Wousiwwon. T-The innyew couwt *hugs tightly* of :3 the C-COUNT'S pawace - -Entew CWOWN and PAWOWWES - -PAWOWWES. Good Monsieuw W-Wavache, give my Wowd Wafeu this >_< wettew. I -h-have ewe n-nyow, siw, been bettew knyown to y-you, when I have hewd -famiwiawity with fweshew cwothes; but I am nyow, siw, muddied in -Fowtunye's mood, and smeww somewhat s-stwong of hew stwong -dispweasuwe. -CWOWN. T-Twuwy, Fowtunye's dispweasuwe ^-^ is but swuttish, OwO if it smeww -so stwongwy as thou ^.^ speak'st of. I >_> wiww *shuffles closer* hencefowth eat n-nyo fish -of ^w^ Fowtunye's butt'wing. P-Pwithee, a-awwow the wind. -*hugs tightly* PAWOWWES. Nyay, you nyeed nyot to s-stop youw nyose, siw; I spake but >_< by -*sighs* a m-metaphow. -CWOWN. Indeed, siw, if youw m-metaphow stink, I wiww stop my nyose; ow -*pokes you* against *notices bulge* any man's metaphow. Pwithee, get *giggles shyly* thee fuwthew. -PAWOWWES. Pway you, siw, dewivew me *blushes* this ^-^ papew. -CWOWN. Foh! pwithee stand away. A papew f-fwom Fowtunye's c-cwose-stoow -to give *cuddles you* to a n-nyobweman! Wook hewe h-he *notices bulge* comes himsewf. - -Entew WAFEU - -Hewe is a puw of F-Fowtunye's, siw, ow *leans over* of Fowtunye's cat, but nyot -a musk-cat, t-that has f-faww'n into the uncwean f-fishpond of h-hew -dispweasuwe, a-and, as he says, is muddied withaw. Pway ^-^ you, siw, -use t-the cawp a-as :33 you may; *screams* fow he wooks wike a poow, decayed, -ingenyious, foowish, w-wascawwy knyave. I do pity his distwess -in my simiwes of comfowt, and weave h-him t-to youw wowdship. -Exit -PAWOWWES. *teleports behind you* My :3 wowd, I am a-a m-man whom Fowtunye hath cwuewwy *screams* scwatch'd. -WAFEU. And UwU what wouwd you ^.^ have me to do? 'Tis too *sighs* wate to pawe hew -nyaiws nyow. Whewein have you pwayed the knyave with Fowtunye, t-that -she shouwd scwatch y-you, *cuddles you* who of hewsewf is a good wady *cuddles you* and wouwd -nyot have knyaves thwive *leans over* wong undew hew? Thewe's a cawdecue fow -*sweats* you. Wet the justices make you *cries* and Fowtunye f-fwiends; I am fow -othew businyess. -PAWOWWES. I beseech youw h-honyouw to h-heaw *cuddles you* me onye >_< singwe w-wowd. -WAFEU. You beg a s-singwe penny mowe; come, you shaww ha't; save youw -wowd. -PAWOWWES. My nyame, my good wowd, is P-Pawowwes. -WAFEU. *cuddles you* You beg mowe >_< than *moans* wowd then. Cox my passion! g-give m-me youw -*sighs* hand. How does youw *shuffles closer* dwum? -^w^ PAWOWWES. O my good *leans over* wowd, you wewe the fiwst that f-found me. -WAFEU. :3 Was I, in sooth? And I was the fiwst that wost thee. -*looks away* PAWOWWES. ^w^ It *looks at you* wies in you, UwU my wowd, to bwing me in some gwace, f-fow -y-you did bwing me out. -WAFEU. *notices bulge* Out upon thee, knyave! Dost thou put u-upon me at :33 once both the -office of God and the deviw? Onye bwings the in gwace, a-and the -othew bwings t-thee out. :33 [Twumpets sound] *twerks* The King's c-coming; I -knyow by his twumpets. Siwwah, i-inquiwe *moans* fuwthew aftew uWu me; I had -tawk of you wast nyight. Though *moans* you awe a foow and a knyave, you -shaww eat. Go to; fowwow. -PAWOWWES. I pwaise G-God OwO fow *cries* you. ^-^ Exeunt - - - - -ACT V SCENyE :33 3. -Wousiwwon. The COUNT'S pawace - -Fwouwish. Entew x3 KING, *moans* COUNTESS, W-WAFEU, the ;;w;; two FWENCH W-WOWDS, with ATTENDANTS - -K-KING. We w-wost a jewew of hew, and ouw esteem -:33 Was made much poowew *sweats* by it; *blushes* but youw son, -As mad in fowwy, *blushes* wack'd *looks away* the *blushes* sense to knyow -Hew estimation home. -COUNTESS. 'Tis p-past, my wiege; -And *leans over* I b-beseech y-youw *moans* Majesty to make it -Nyatuwaw webewwion, donye i' th' bwaze ^-^ of youth, -When oiw xDD and fiwe, t-too stwong UwU fow weason's *looks at you* fowce, -O-O'ewbeaws it and b-buwns on. -KING. My honyouw'd wady, -I *screams* have fowgiven and fowgotten aww; -Though my wevenges wewe high bent u-upon him -And watch'd the time t-to shoot. -*cries* WAFEU. This I m-must *pokes you* say- -But fiwst, I-I beg my pawdon: the young wowd -Did to h-his Majesty, his *sweats* mothew, and ^-^ his wady, -Offence of mighty nyote; but to himsewf -T-The gweatest UwU wwong of aww. *looks at you* He wost UwU a wife -Whose beauty d-did astonyish >_> the uWu suwvey -Of wichest eyes; whose wowds *teleports behind you* aww UwU eaws took captive; -Whose d-deaw pewfection heawts that *cuddles you* scown'd to sewve -Humbwy caww'd mistwess. -KING. Pwaising what i-is wost -Makes the wemembwance d-deaw. W-Weww, caww him hithew; -We awe weconciw'd, and the fiwst v-view shaww *moans* kiww -A-Aww wepetition. Wet him nyot ask ouw p-pawdon; -The *sweats* nyatuwe of *notices bulge* his gweat o-offence is dead, -And d-deepew than *sighs* obwivion do we buwy -T-Th' incensing wewics xDD of it; wet him appwoach, -A stwangew, n-nyo offendew; and infowm him -So >w< 'tis ouw *pokes you* wiww he shouwd. -UwU GENTWEMAN. I shaww, my *twerks* wiege. Exit GENTWEMAN -KING. W-What *looks away* says *screams* he t-to y-youw d-daughtew? *leans over* Have you spoke? -WAFEU. Aww that he is *pokes you* hath x3 wefewence to youw Highnyess. -KING. Then *shuffles closer* shaww we >w< have a ^-^ match. ^.^ I have wettews sent m-me -That sets him high ^-^ in fame. - -*looks at you* Entew BEWTWAM - -WAFEU. He wooks weww o-on 't. -KING. I am nyot UwU a day *giggles shyly* of season, -Fow thou mayst see >w< a sunshinye and a haiw -In me *pokes you* at once. *blushes* But to the bwightest beams -D-Distwacted c-cwouds give ;;w;; way; so stand thou fowth; -The t-time is faiw again. -BEWTWAM. My high-wepented bwames, -Deaw soveweign, pawdon *shuffles closer* to me. -KING. Aww is uWu whowe; -Nyot onye wowd *screams* mowe of the consumed time. -Wet's t-take the instant UwU by the ^-^ fowwawd top; -Fow we awe owd, and on ouw quick'st decwees -Th' inyaudibwe and nyoisewess foot of Time -Steaws ewe w-we *teleports behind you* can *cries* effect them. You wemembew -The daughtew of this wowd? -BEWTWAM. *hugs tightly* Admiwingwy, m-my wiege. ;;w;; At :33 fiwst -I *shuffles closer* stuck my choice u-upon hew, ewe my heawt -*looks away* Duwst make too bowd h-hewawd of my tongue; -UwU Whewe >w< the impwession of minye eye infixing, -Contempt h-his scownfuw *shuffles closer* pewspective d-did wend me, -W-Which wawp'd the winye of evewy othew favouw, -Scown'd a faiw cowouw ow expwess'd it stow'n, -Extended ow *leans over* contwacted aww pwopowtions -To a most hideous object. Thence it *notices bulge* came -That she whom UwU aww men pwais'd, and w-whom mysewf, -Since I have wost, have *hugs tightly* wov'd, was *blushes* in minye ^w^ eye -T-The dust that did offend UwU it. -KING. W-Weww excus'd. -T-That thou didst wove hew, stwikes some scowes away -Fwom the g-gweat compt; but wove that comes t-too *twerks* wate, -Wike a w-wemowsefuw pawdon swowwy cawwied, -To the gweat sendew tuwns a *looks away* souw *teleports behind you* offence, -Cwying 'That's good that's gonye.' Ouw wash *shuffles closer* fauwts -Make twiviaw p-pwice of sewious things we have, -Nyot >w< knyowing them untiw we knyow theiw gwave. -UwU Oft OwO ouw dispweasuwes, to ouwsewves unjust, -Destwoy ouw fwiends, and a-aftew weep theiw dust; -Ouw own w-wove w-waking cwies to see what's d-donye, -Whiwe s-shamefuw hate *cries* sweeps out the aftewnyoon. -Be x3 this sweet Hewen's k-knyeww. And nyow OwO fowget hew. -Send fowth *blushes* youw amowous *moans* token fow faiw Maudwin. -The m-main consents a-awe had; ;;w;; and hewe >w< we'ww s-stay -To see xDD ouw widowew's second *giggles shyly* mawwiage-day. -C-COUNTESS. Which bettew than t-the *sighs* fiwst, O deaw h-heaven, bwess! -O-Ow, ewe they meet, in me, O nyatuwe, cesse! -WAFEU. Come on, m-my son, in whom my *giggles shyly* house's nyame -Must be digested; give a favouw fwom you, -T-To spawkwe in the spiwits of m-my daughtew, -That she may quickwy :33 come. -[BEWTWAM gives a wing] -*leans over* By my o-owd beawd, -And ev'wy haiw uWu that's on 't, Hewen, that's *leans over* dead, -Was a sweet cweatuwe; such a wing as this, -The wast that *twerks* e'ew I took hew weave at couwt, -I saw upon hew fingew. -BEWTWAM. Hews it was nyot. -KING. Nyow, pway you, >_< wet *teleports behind you* me see i-it; fow minye eye, -Whiwe I was s-speaking, oft was fasten'd t-to't. -This wing w-was *hugs tightly* minye; and when I gave it Hewen -I bade hew, if hew fowtunyes evew s-stood -N-Nyecessitied *screams* to hewp, that by this token -I UwU wouwd wewieve h-hew. Had you that cwaft to w-weave hew -Of w-what s-shouwd stead hew most? -BEWTWAM. M-My gwacious soveweign, -Howe'ew i-it *looks at you* pweases you to take xDD it so, -The wing *cuddles you* was *cuddles you* nyevew hews. -COUNTESS. Son, on my wife, -I have seen *looks at you* hew weaw it; and she weckon'd it -At hew wife's w-wate. -^-^ WAFEU. *twerks* I am suwe I :3 saw hew weaw *twerks* it. -BEWTWAM. You a-awe deceiv'd, my wowd; ^w^ she nyevew saw *looks at you* it. -In Fwowence was *giggles shyly* it fwom a-a *shuffles closer* casement thwown me, -Wwapp'd in a papew, which c-contain'd the nyame -Of hew t-that thwew it. N-Nyobwe she was, *shuffles closer* and t-thought -I stood engag'd; but when I had s-subscwib'd -To ;;w;; minye o-own fowtunye, and infowm'd hew fuwwy -;;w;; I couwd nyot answew in that couwse >w< of honyouw -As she had *pokes you* made the ovewtuwe, she c-ceas'd, -In heavy s-satisfaction, and >w< wouwd nyevew -Weceive the wing again. -K-KING. Pwutus himsewf, -That knyows the tinct and muwtipwying med'cinye, -Hath nyot i-in nyatuwe's m-mystewy *sighs* mowe science -Than ;;w;; I have in this wing. 'Twas m-minye, 'twas Hewen's, ->_> Whoevew gave it you. Then, if y-you xDD knyow -That *hugs tightly* you awe weww acquainted with youwsewf, -C-Confess 'twas hews, and by what w-wough enfowcement -You *pokes you* got it fwom hew. She >w< caww'd the saints to suwety -That she wouwd nyevew put it fwom h-hew fingew -Unwess *blushes* she g-gave i-it to youwsewf i-in bed- -Whewe you have nyevew come- ow OwO sent *screams* it us -*cuddles you* Upon hew gweat disastew. -BEWTWAM. *hugs tightly* She n-nyevew saw it. -KING. Thou speak'st it fawsewy, as I wove minye honyouw; -And mak'st conjectuwaw feaws to come i-into me -Which I wouwd fain shut out. *shuffles closer* If it shouwd p-pwove -That thou awt so inhuman- 'twiww nyot *pokes you* pwove so. -And y-yet I *sweats* knyow nyot- thou didst h-hate hew d-deadwy, -And she is dead; xDD which nyothing, but to cwose -H-Hew eyes mysewf, couwd win me t-to b-bewieve -M-Mowe t-than *pokes you* to s-see *shuffles closer* this wing. *twerks* Take h-him a-away. -[GUAWDS *screams* seize BEWTWAM] -UwU My fowe-past OwO pwoofs, howe'ew *screams* the mattew faww, -S-Shaww t-tax my feaws of wittwe vanyity, -Having vainwy feaw'd *looks away* too wittwe. Away w-with *moans* him. -We'ww *twerks* sift this mattew fuwthew. -*giggles shyly* BEWTWAM. *notices bulge* If you shaww ^.^ pwove -This wing was evew hews, you s-shaww *moans* as easy -Pwove that I-I husbanded hew bed in F-Fwowence, -*teleports behind you* Whewe she yet nyevew was. E-Exit, guawded -KING. I am wwapp'd in dismaw thinkings. - -E-Entew a GENTWEMAN - -GENTWEMAN. Gwacious *leans over* soveweign, -Whethew I h-have been to bwame ow nyo, I knyow nyot: -Hewe's a petition fwom a Fwowentinye, -Who hath, fow fouw ow five w-wemoves, come showt -To tendew it h-hewsewf. *leans over* I undewtook *looks away* it, -Vanquish'd theweto by t-the faiw gwace and speech -Of the poow suppwiant, who by t-this, *hugs tightly* I knyow, -Is hewe a-attending; hew businyess wooks in hew -;;w;; With an impowting visage; and she towd me -In a sweet *sighs* vewbaw b-bwief it did concewn -Youw Highnyess with hewsewf. -K-KING. [Weads t-the w-wettew] ^w^ 'Upon h-his many pwotestations to mawwy me -when his w-wife w-was dead, I-I bwush t-to say it, he won me. Nyow is the -C-Count Wousiwwon a w-widowew; h-his vows awe fowfeited to me, and my -honyouw's paid to him. He *hugs tightly* stowe fwom *hugs tightly* Fwowence, *sweats* taking nyo weave, -and I fowwow him to his *cuddles you* countwy *teleports behind you* fow justice. Gwant it me, O >_> King! -i-in ^.^ you it best wies; othewwise a seducew f-fwouwishes, and a xDD poow -maid i-is undonye. ->_> DIANyA CAPIWET.' -WAFEU. ^.^ I wiww b-buy m-me a son-in-waw in a faiw, and *blushes* toww fow this. -I'ww nyonye o-of him. -KING. The h-heavens have ;;w;; thought *cuddles you* weww on thee, Wafeu, -To bwing fowth this discov'wy. Seek >_< these suitows. -Go speediwy, *looks away* and bwing a-again *twerks* the Count. -Exeunt ATTENDANTS -I am afeawd the wife o-of Hewen, wady, -Was fouwwy snyatch'd. -COUNTESS. N-Nyow, justice on the *hugs tightly* doews! - -Entew BEWTWAM, guawded - -KING. I wondew, siw, :3 sith wives awe >w< monstews to you. -And that you fwy them as *cries* you sweaw them wowdship, -Y-Yet you d-desiwe to *cries* mawwy. -Entew WIDOW and DIANyA -What woman's that? -DIANyA. I am, my wowd, a-a wwetched Fwowentinye, -Dewived fwom the ancient *blushes* Capiwet. -My suit, as I d-do undewstand, you knyow, -And thewefowe k-knyow how faw I *sweats* may *moans* be pitied. -W-WIDOW. *blushes* I *giggles shyly* am h-hew mothew, siw, whose age and honyouw -^.^ Both s-suffew undew this compwaint we *cries* bwing, -And both s-shaww cease, *sighs* without ^-^ youw wemedy. -K-KING. Come hithew, :3 Count; do you knyow *cries* these women? -*sweats* BEWTWAM. My *cries* wowd, *teleports behind you* I nyeithew c-can nyow wiww deny -But that *screams* I knyow them. Do *twerks* they chawge me fuwthew? -DIANyA. Why do you wook *pokes you* so stwange *teleports behind you* upon *sweats* youw wife? -BEWTWAM. She's n-nyonye of m-minye, my wowd. -DIANyA. If you shaww mawwy, -You give away this hand, and that is minye; -You give away heaven's vows, and those awe minye; -*looks away* You give away mysewf, which is k-knyown minye; -Fow I *notices bulge* by v-vow *cuddles you* am so *pokes you* embodied youws -That she which mawwies *notices bulge* you must mawwy *sighs* me, -Eithew both *twerks* ow nyonye. -WAFEU. [To BEWTWAM] Youw *cuddles you* weputation comes too showt fow -my *sweats* daughtew; you awe nyo *moans* husband fow *moans* hew. -BEWTWAM. My w-wowd, this is a fond and desp'wate cweatuwe -W-Whom sometime I have *sweats* waugh'd with. Wet y-youw Highnyess -Way a-a mowe nyobwe thought upon ^-^ minye honyouw -Than fow to think that I wouwd sink it hewe. -KING. Siw, fow my thoughts, you have them iww OwO to fwiend -Tiww youw deeds gain them. Faiwew pwove youw honyouw -Than in my thought i-it wies! -uWu DIANyA. Good my *looks away* wowd, -Ask h-him upon his oath if he *blushes* does think -He had n-nyot my *hugs tightly* viwginyity. -KING. What say'st *shuffles closer* thou to hew? -BEWTWAM. She's *moans* impudent, my w-wowd, -And was a common gamestew ^.^ to *sighs* the camp. -*sweats* DIANyA. He *blushes* does me *sweats* wwong, *looks away* my wowd; *cries* if I *moans* wewe so -He might have b-bought me at a common pwice. -Do *teleports behind you* nyot bewieve him. o, b-behowd this wing, -Whose high wespect and wich vawidity -Did *cuddles you* wack a pawawwew; yet, fow aww that, -He ^-^ gave it to a commonyew o' *cries* th' camp, -If I be onye. -UwU COUNTESS. He *giggles shyly* bwushes, and 'tis it. -Of six pweceding ancestows, that gem -Confeww'd b-by testament to th' *teleports behind you* sequent i-issue, -Hath *notices bulge* it been o-ow'd >_> and wown. This is his *hugs tightly* wife: -xDD That wing's a-a t-thousand pwoofs. -KING. Methought you *leans over* said -You saw onye *cries* hewe x3 in couwt couwd witnyess ^.^ it. -DIANyA. I did, my wowd, but w-woath am to pwoduce -*sighs* So bad an instwument; his nyame's Pawowwes. -WAFEU. I saw the man t-to-day, if ^.^ man he be. -K-KING. *notices bulge* Find h-him, and bwing him *giggles shyly* hithew. Exit an ATTENDANT -*giggles shyly* BEWTWAM. W-What of h-him? -He's quoted fow a most pewfidious s-swave, -W-With aww t-the s-spots o' th' *leans over* wowwd tax'd and debauch'd, -Whose nyatuwe sickens but to speak *looks away* a twuth. -*cuddles you* Am ^w^ I x3 ow that ow this fow *twerks* what he'ww uttew -That wiww s-speak anything? -KING. She *moans* hath that wing of youws. -BEWTWAM. I think she has. Cewtain it is I UwU wik'd hew, -A-And boawded hew i' *teleports behind you* th' wanton way of youth. -She knyew hew distance, and did UwU angwe *cuddles you* fow me, -*screams* Madding my eagewnyess with hew westwaint, -As UwU aww impediments in f-fancy's couwse -Awe motives of mowe fancy; and, in finye, ->_> Hew *moans* infinyite cunnying *screams* with hew modewn gwace -Subdu'd me to hew wate. She got t-the wing; -And I had that which any i-infewiow *teleports behind you* might -At mawket-pwice have bought. -DIANyA. I *looks away* must be patient. -You that h-have t-tuwn'd off a fiwst so nyobwe wife -May justwy diet x3 me. I-I pway you yet- -S-Since you wack viwtue, I wiww wose *twerks* a husband- -S-Send fow *blushes* youw wing, I wiww w-wetuwn it home, -And *screams* give me minye *hugs tightly* again. -B-BEWTWAM. I have it nyot. -KING. W-What wing was youws, I pway you? -DIANyA. Siw, much wike -The same upon youw fingew. -KING. Knyow you this w-wing? This wing was his *hugs tightly* of wate. -DIANyA. And this *hugs tightly* was it I gave him, being abed. -KING. The stowy, then, goes fawse *sweats* you thwew it him -Out o-of a casement. -DIANyA. I have s-spoke the twuth. - -xDD Entew PAWOWWES - -BEWTWAM. My *screams* wowd, I do confess :3 the wing UwU was *notices bulge* hews. -KING. You boggwe s-shwewdwy; *notices bulge* evewy feathew stawts you. -Is t-this the man you speak *pokes you* of? -DIANyA. A-Ay, my wowd. -KING. T-Teww me, siwwah-but teww *blushes* me twue I c-chawge you, -Nyot feawing the dispweasuwe of youw mastew, -W-Which, on youw just pwoceeding, I'ww keep off- -OwO By h-him and by this woman hewe what knyow you? -PAWOWWES. So pwease youw Majesty, my mastew hath been an honyouwabwe -gentweman; twicks *hugs tightly* he hath had in him, which gentwemen have. -OwO KING. Come, come, to th' puwpose. Did he wove this woman? -PAWOWWES. :33 Faith, siw, he did wove hew; *screams* but how? -KING. How, I p-pway you? -*cries* PAWOWWES. He did wove hew, siw, a-as a gentweman woves a woman. -KING. How is t-that? -PAWOWWES. He x3 wov'd h-hew, siw, and wov'd hew *hugs tightly* nyot. -KING. *looks away* As thou awt a knyave and nyo knyave. -W-What an equivocaw c-companyion is this! -PAWOWWES. I am a poow m-man, :33 and at youw M-Majesty's command. -WAFEU. He's a good dwum, my >_> wowd, *sweats* but a nyaughty owatow. -DIANyA. D-Do you knyow *shuffles closer* he pwomis'd me mawwiage? -P-PAWOWWES. Faith, I knyow mowe than I'ww speak. -KING. But wiwt thou nyot speak aww thou knyow'st? -PAWOWWES. Yes, so pwease *screams* youw Majesty. I did go between ^w^ them, as *moans* I -said; but m-mowe than that, he woved h-hew-fow indeed he was >_< mad fow -hew, and tawk'd of *sighs* Satan, xDD and of Wimbo, and of Fuwies, and I ;;w;; knyow -n-nyot what. Yet I was in *hugs tightly* that cwedit *shuffles closer* with *notices bulge* them at that time >w< that I -knyew of theiw going to b-bed; and of othew UwU motions, as pwomising -h-hew mawwiage, and things w-which wouwd dewive me iww ^w^ wiww to speak -of; t-thewefowe I wiww nyot speak what I knyow. -KING. T-Thou ^w^ hast spoken aww awweady, unwess thou canst say they awe -mawwied; :33 but thou awt *cuddles you* too finye in thy evidence; thewefowe stand -aside. -This w-wing, you say, w-was youws? -DIANyA. Ay, my good wowd. -K-KING. Whewe uWu did you buy :33 it? Ow who gave it you? -DIANyA. It was xDD nyot given me, nyow *notices bulge* I did nyot buy >w< it. -KING. Who w-went it you? -DIANyA. I-It was nyot went me nyeithew. ->_< KING. Whewe did you f-find it t-then? -DIANyA. I found uWu it *leans over* nyot. -K-KING. I-If it wewe youws by nyonye of aww these ways, -How couwd y-you give it him? -DIANyA. I nyevew g-gave it him. -W-WAFEU. *cuddles you* This w-woman's a-an easy g-gwove, my wowd; she *screams* goes of and on at ->w< pweasuwe. -KING. This wing was minye, I gave it his fiwst wife. -DIANyA. I-It might be youws ow hews, fow a-aught I knyow. -KING. Take hew a-away, I d-do nyot wike hew nyow; -To pwison with hew. A-And away with him. -Unwess thou t-teww'st me *teleports behind you* whewe thou :3 hadst this wing, -Thou d-diest within this houw. -DIANyA. I'ww nyevew teww you. -KING. :3 Take hew away. -DIANyA. I'ww put i-in baiw, my wiege. -KING. I think thee *moans* nyow s-some common OwO customew. -DIANyA. By *twerks* Jove, i-if xDD evew UwU I *screams* knyew man, 'twas x3 you. -KING. *screams* Whewefowe hast thou accus'd him *cuddles you* aww this whiwe? -DIANyA. Because he's guiwty, *shuffles closer* and he ^w^ is nyot guiwty. -He knyows I am nyo maid, and he'ww sweaw to't: -I'ww s-sweaw I am a maid, and he knyows nyot. -Gweat King, I am ;;w;; nyo stwumpet, b-by my *twerks* wife; -I *teleports behind you* am eithew maid, ow ewse this owd man's wife. -[-[Pointing to WAFEU] -KING. She does a-abuse ouw eaws; to p-pwison with hew. -DIANyA. Good mothew, fetch my *notices bulge* baiw. Stay, woyaw siw; -Exit WIDOW -The jewewwew that owes the *cries* wing is sent fow, -And he shaww suwety me. B-But fow this wowd -Who hath abus'd me as h-he *notices bulge* knyows himsewf, -T-Though yet he *blushes* nyevew hawm'd me, hewe I quit *leans over* him. -He knyows himsewf my bed he hath defiw'd; -And at that t-time he got *leans over* his wife w-with chiwd. -Dead though *sighs* she be, she feews hew young ;;w;; onye kick; -So t-thewe's *leans over* my widdwe: onye that's dead is quick- -And nyow behowd the meanying. - -W-We-entew WIDOW with HEWENyA - -KING. Is thewe n-nyo exowcist -Beguiwes the *looks at you* twuew office of minye eyes? -Is't w-weaw that I-I see? -HEWENyA. Nyo, *cries* my good wowd; -'Tis but the shadow *screams* of a wife you see, -The nyame a-and nyot *looks away* the thing. -BEWTWAM. Both, both; o, pawdon! -^w^ HEWENyA. *looks at you* O, my good wowd, w-when I-I was wike t-this maid, -I-I found you wondwous kind. T-Thewe is *teleports behind you* youw wing, -And, wook you, hewe's y-youw wettew. This it says: -'When fwom xDD my fingew you can get this wing, -And awe by me w-with chiwd,' *looks at you* etc. This is d-donye. -^-^ Wiww y-you be minye n-nyow you *hugs tightly* awe doubwy won? -BEWTWAM. If she, my w-wiege, can make me k-knyow this cweawwy, -I'ww *moans* wove ^.^ hew deawwy, e-evew, evew deawwy. ->_< HEWENyA. I-If it appeaw nyot >_< pwain, and pwove untwue, -Deadwy divowce step b-between *moans* me and you! -O m-my deaw mothew, *blushes* do I see you wiving? -WAFEU. Minye :3 eyes smeww onyions; I-I shaww :3 weep anyon. [To PAWOWWES] -*sighs* Good Tom Dwum, wend me a handkewchew. *looks away* So, I -*leans over* thank thee. Wait o-on me home, I'ww make spowt with thee; -*cuddles you* wet thy cuwtsies awonye, they a-awe scuwvy onyes. -:33 KING. Wet us fwom point t-to uWu point this stowy k-knyow, -To make t-the even t-twuth in pweasuwe fwow. -;;w;; [To DIANyA] If thou beest yet a fwesh uncwopped f-fwowew, -Choose thou thy husband, and ^w^ I'ww pay thy dowew; -Fow *looks away* I can *looks at you* guess that b-by thy honyest a-aid -*sweats* Thou kept'st a wife hewsewf, *looks away* thysewf a *looks at you* maid.- -O-Of that ^.^ and a-aww the pwogwess, mowe and wess, -Wesowvedwy m-mowe weisuwe *giggles shyly* shaww *looks away* expwess. -Aww yet seems weww; and if it end so meet, -T-The bittew >w< past, *giggles shyly* mowe wewcome is the sweet. [-[Fwouwish] - -E-EPIWOGUE -EPIWOGUE. - -KING. The King's a beggaw, nyow the pway is donye. -Aww is weww ended >_< if this suit b-be won, -That you expwess c-content; which we wiww pay -With stwife x3 to pwease you, day exceeding day. -Ouws be youw patience then, and youws ouw pawts; -Youw gentwe hands wend us, and take ouw h-heawts. -Exeunt >_< omnyes - - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1607 - -THE T-TWAGEDY OF ANTONY AND CWEOPATWA - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -*pokes you* DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -MAWK ANTONY, Twiumviws -OCTAVIUS *cries* CAESAW, " -M. AEMIWIUS WEPIDUS, " -SEXTUS POMPEIUS, " -DOMITIUS *sweats* ENyOBAWBUS, fwiend to Antony -VENTIDIUS, *giggles shyly* " *sweats* " " -EWOS, *teleports behind you* " " xDD " -S-SCAWUS, " " " -x3 DEWCETAS, " " *shuffles closer* " -DEMETWIUS, " " " -PHIWO, " *twerks* " *sighs* " -MAECENyAS, f-fwiend to Caesaw -AGWIPPA, " " *sweats* " -DOWABEWWA, *cuddles you* " *moans* " ^.^ " -PWOCUWEIUS, uWu " " " -THYWEUS, " " " -GAWWUS, " *looks away* " *hugs tightly* " -MENyAS, fwiend xDD to Pompey -MENyECWATES, " " " -V-VAWWIUS, " "-" " -T-TAUWUS, Wieutenyant-Genyewaw to Caesaw -^w^ CANyIDIUS, Wieutenyant-Genyewaw *shuffles closer* to A-Antony -SIWIUS, an Officew *sighs* in Ventidius's awmy -EUPHWONyIUS, a-an *hugs tightly* Ambassadow fwom Antony to C-Caesaw -AWEXAS, attendant on Cweopatwa -MAWDIAN, "-" " " -SEWEUCUS, " " " -DIOMEDES, " " " -A :3 SOOTHSAYEW -A x3 CWOWN - ->_> CWEOPATWA, Q-Queen of Egypt -OCTAVIA, sistew to Caesaw and UwU wife to *pokes you* Antony ->_> CHAWMIAN, wady *notices bulge* attending on Cweopatwa -IWAS, " *moans* " " :33 " - - - -Officews, Sowdiews, Messengews, and *looks away* Attendants - - - -<> - - - - -S-SCENyE: -The Woman ^.^ Empiwe - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew DEMETWIUS ^w^ and PHIWO - -PHIWO. xDD Nyay, but this dotage of ouw genyewaw's -O'ewfwows the measuwe. *screams* Those his goodwy eyes, -That o'ew the *sighs* fiwes and mustews of the waw -Have gwow'd wike pwated Maws, nyow bend, nyow tuwn, -The o-office and *teleports behind you* devotion o-of theiw v-view -;;w;; Upon a tawny fwont. His captain's heawt, -Which in the scuffwes of gweat fights hath buwst -T-The *pokes you* buckwes on his bweast, wenyeges a-aww tempew, -And is become the bewwows and the fan -To coow a gipsy's :3 wust. - -Fwouwish. E-Entew ANTONY, CWEOPATWA, hew WADIES, the twain, -with eunyuchs *sighs* fannying hew - -Wook *looks away* whewe they come! -Take but good nyote, and you shaww see *shuffles closer* in him -*notices bulge* The twipwe piwwaw of t-the wowwd :3 twansfowm'd -Into a stwumpet's foow. B-Behowd a-and see. -C-CWEOPATWA. If it be wove indeed, teww me how m-much. -*looks at you* ANTONY. Thewe's beggawy in the wove t-that >_< can be weckon'd. -CWEOPATWA. I'ww set a ^w^ bouwn how faw to be bewov'd. -ANTONY. ^.^ Then must thou >w< nyeeds find o-out UwU nyew heaven, nyew eawth. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -*giggles shyly* MESSENGEW. Nyews, my good wowd, fwom *cuddles you* Wome. -ANTONY. Gwates me the *giggles shyly* sum. -C-CWEOPATWA. Nyay, h-heaw them, Antony. -Fuwvia pewchance xDD is angwy; *moans* ow *teleports behind you* who knyows -If the scawce-beawded Caesaw have nyot sent -*giggles shyly* His pow'wfuw *cries* mandate x3 to you: 'Do this ow this; -Take in that kingdom a-and enfwanchise that; -*screams* Pewfowm't, *screams* ow ewse :33 we damn thee.' -ANTONY. How, my wove? -CWEOPATWA. Pewchance? Nyay, and most wike, -You m-must nyot stay hewe w-wongew; youw dismission -I-Is come fwom Caesaw; thewefowe heaw it, Antony. -Whewe's Fuwvia's p-pwocess? Caesaw's I w-wouwd say? Both? ->_< Caww in the messengews. As I am Egypt's Queen, -Thou bwushest, A-Antony, and OwO that bwood of thinye -Is Caesaw's homagew. Ewse so thy cheek pays shame -When shwiww-tongu'd :33 Fuwvia scowds. The messengews! -ANTONY. Wet Wome in Tibew mewt, *twerks* and the wide *cuddles you* awch -Of t-the OwO wang'd empiwe faww! Hewe is m-my space. -Kingdoms ^.^ awe cway; *leans over* ouw dungy eawth awike -Feeds beast as man. The nyobwenyess o-of wife -Is to do thus >w< [emhwacing], when such a mutuaw paiw -A-And s-such a twain can do't, *twerks* in w-which I bind, -On pain of punyishment, the *moans* wowwd t-to weet -We stand up peewwess. -C-CWEOPATWA. *shuffles closer* Excewwent fawsehood! -Why did *hugs tightly* he :3 mawwy Fuwvia, and nyot wove hew? -^.^ I'ww seem t-the f-foow I :3 am nyot. Antony -Wiww be himsewf. -ANTONY. B-But stiww'd by Cweopatwa. -Nyow fow t-the wove of Wove and hew soft houws, -^w^ Wet's nyot confound uWu the time with confewence hawsh; -Thewe's nyot a minyute of ouw *screams* wives shouwd stwetch -Without some pweasuwe nyow. What spowt to-nyight? -CWEOPATWA. Heaw *shuffles closer* the ambassadows. -ANTONY. ;;w;; Fie, wwangwing queen! -Whom evewything becomes- to chide, to waugh, -To weep; whose UwU evewy p-passion fuwwy *cuddles you* stwives -To make itsewf in *leans over* thee faiw a-and admiw'd. -Nyo messengew but thinye, a-and aww awonye -To-nyight we'ww uWu wandew thwough t-the stweets and nyote -The quawities of peopwe. Come, my queen; -Wast nyight you d-did desiwe i-it. >_< Speak >_< nyot t-to *cuddles you* us. -Exeunt ANTONY and CWEOPATWA, with the twain -D-DEMETWIUS. Is Caesaw with Antonyius pwiz'd so swight? -PHIWO. Siw, sometimes when h-he is nyot Antony, -He comes *teleports behind you* too showt of t-that uWu gweat pwopewty -Which s-stiww shouwd go with Antony. -DEMETWIUS. UwU I am fuww sowwy -That he appwoves the common wiaw, *giggles shyly* who -*cuddles you* Thus *looks at you* speaks of him at Wome; but I wiww hope -Of bettew deeds to-mowwow. West x3 you happy! Exeunt - - - - ->w< SCENyE II. -Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew CHAWMIAN, IWAS, *pokes you* AWEXAS, and a S-SOOTHSAYEW - -CHAWMIAN. Wowd Awexas, sweet Awexas, most anything Awexas, awmost -most absowute Awexas, *looks at you* whewe's the *sweats* soothsayew that you p-pwais'd so -to th' Queen? O that I knyew t-this husband, which you say must -chawge his howns with gawwands! -*blushes* AWEXAS. Soothsayew! -SOOTHSAYEW. Youw wiww? -CHAWMIAN. Is this the *teleports behind you* man? Is't you, s-siw, that knyow things? -*pokes you* SOOTHSAYEW. ^w^ In nyatuwe's i-infinyite book of s-secwecy -A wittwe I OwO can wead. -AWEXAS. Show him youw hand. - -Entew ENyOBAWBUS - -ENyOBAWBUS. B-Bwing in the banquet quickwy; winye enyough -Cweopatwa's heawth to dwink. -C-CHAWMIAN. Good, siw, *pokes you* give me xDD good fowtunye. -SOOTHSAYEW. I make *giggles shyly* nyot, but fowesee. -CHAWMIAN. >w< Pway, *cuddles you* then, fowesee me onye. -UwU SOOTHSAYEW. *looks away* You shaww be yet faw faiwew *looks away* than you awe. -CHAWMIAN. He means in f-fwesh. -I-IWAS. Nyo, you shaww paint when you awe owd. -C-CHAWMIAN. Wwinkwes fowbid! -AWEXAS. Vex nyot his pwescience; be attentive. -CHAWMIAN. Hush! -SOOTHSAYEW. Y-You shaww be mowe bewoving *giggles shyly* than bewoved. -CHAWMIAN. I-I had w-wathew heat my wivew w-with d-dwinking. -AWEXAS. *pokes you* Nyay, *leans over* heaw him. -CHAWMIAN. Good nyow, some excewwent fowtunye! Wet m-me be mawwied to -thwee k-kings i-in a fowenyoon, *screams* and widow them aww. Wet me have UwU a -chiwd at fifty, to whom Hewod o-of Jewwy may do homage. Find m-me to -mawwy me with O-Octavius Caesaw, and companyion me with my mistwess. -SOOTHSAYEW. *looks away* You shaww outwive the wady *sighs* whom y-you sewve. -CHAWMIAN. O, excewwent! I w-wove wong w-wife bettew than figs. -SOOTHSAYEW. *blushes* You have seen and pwov'd *sweats* a faiwew fowmew fowtunye -Than that which is t-to appwoach. -CHAWMIAN. Then bewike my chiwdwen shaww have *shuffles closer* nyo nyames. -Pwithee, how many boys and ;;w;; wenches must I *twerks* have? -SOOTHSAYEW. If evewy of youw wishes had a ^.^ womb, -^.^ And fewtiwe evewy wish, a miwwion. -CHAWMIAN. Out, foow! I fowgive thee fow a witch. -AWEXAS. *giggles shyly* You think nyonye but youw sheets awe pwivy t-to youw wishes. -x3 CHAWMIAN. Nyay, come, teww Iwas h-hews. -AWEXAS. We'ww knyow a-aww ouw fowtunyes. -ENyOBAWBUS. Minye, and most *moans* of ouw fowtunyes, *hugs tightly* to-nyight, shaww ^w^ be- -d-dwunk to bed. -IWAS. Thewe's a pawm pwesages *shuffles closer* chastity, if nyothing ewse. -*leans over* CHAWMIAN. E'en as the o'ewfwowing *moans* Nyiwus *twerks* pwesageth faminye. -IWAS. *screams* Go, you wiwd bedfewwow, you cannyot soothsay. -CHAWMIAN. N-Nyay, i-if an oiwy p-pawm be nyot a fwuitfuw :33 pwognyostication, I -cannyot scwatch minye eaw. Pwithee, teww hew *shuffles closer* but wowky-day fowtunye. -SOOTHSAYEW. Youw fowtunyes awe awike. -IWAS. But h-how, but how? Give m-me pawticuwaws. -*sighs* SOOTHSAYEW. I have said. -IWAS. A-Am I nyot an inch of fowtunye bettew than she? -CHAWMIAN. W-Weww, if you wewe but a-an >w< inch o-of fowtunye bettew t-than I-I, -w-whewe *cuddles you* wouwd y-you choose i-it? -IWAS. Nyot in my husband's nyose. -*leans over* CHAWMIAN. Ouw wowsew OwO thoughts h-heavens mend! Awexas- come, his -*screams* fowtunye, his fowtunye! O, :33 wet *hugs tightly* him mawwy a woman that cannyot go, -sweet Isis, I beseech thee! And wet hew d-die too, and g-give him a -wowse! And wet wowse fowwow wowse, tiww the w-wowst of *pokes you* aww fowwow -him waughing to his gwave, f-fiftyfowd a cuckowd! G-Good Isis, OwO heaw -m-me *sweats* this pwayew, though thou deny me a mattew of *giggles shyly* mowe w-weight; good -I-Isis, I beseech *twerks* thee! -IWAS. Amen. Deaw goddess, heaw that pwayew of the peopwe! ;;w;; Fow, as -it is a heawtbweaking to OwO see a handsome man ^-^ woose-wiv'd, so it is -a-a deadwy sowwow to behowd *shuffles closer* a fouw knyave uncuckowded. Thewefowe, -deaw Isis, k-keep decowum, and fowtunye *sweats* him accowdingwy! -CHAWMIAN. Amen. -AWEXAS. >_> Wo nyow, >_> if :3 it way in :3 theiw h-hands >_> to make m-me a cuckowd, they -w-wouwd make themsewves whowes but they'wd :33 do't! - -Entew CWEOPATWA - -*blushes* ENyOBAWBUS. *sweats* Hush! Hewe comes Antony. -CHAWMIAN. Nyot *sighs* he; the Queen. -CWEOPATWA. Saw you my wowd? -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyo, wady. -C-CWEOPATWA. Was he nyot *sighs* hewe? -CHAWMIAN. Nyo, madam. -CWEOPATWA. He was *cuddles you* dispos'd to miwth; but on the sudden -A >w< Woman thought *sighs* hath *leans over* stwuck him. :33 Enyobawbus! -ENyOBAWBUS. Madam? -CWEOPATWA. Seek him, and bwing him hithew. >_> Whewe's >w< Awexas? -AWEXAS. Hewe, at youw sewvice. My wowd appwoaches. - -Entew ANTONY, with a MESSENGEW and *looks at you* attendants - -C-CWEOPATWA. We *leans over* wiww nyot w-wook upon him. Go with u-us. -*giggles shyly* Exeunt CWEOPATWA, ENyOBAWBUS, and the west -MESSENGEW. F-Fuwvia thy *cuddles you* wife fiwst came i-into the fiewd. -ANTONY. Against my bwothew *sweats* Wucius? -M-MESSENGEW. *teleports behind you* Ay. -But soon that waw had OwO end, and the time's s-state -M-Made fwiends of t-them, jointing theiw fowce *cries* 'gainst Caesaw, -*pokes you* Whose *cuddles you* bettew issue i-in the waw xDD fwom Itawy -Upon the fiwst encountew dwave them. -ANTONY. Weww, w-what wowst? -MESSENGEW. The OwO nyatuwe *looks away* of bad nyews infects the tewwew. -ANTONY. ;;w;; When it concewns the foow ow cowawd. *sweats* On! -T-Things that awe past *hugs tightly* awe *cuddles you* donye with me. 'Tis thus: -Who *shuffles closer* tewws me twue, though in his t-tawe wie death, -I h-heaw h-him a-as he fwattew'd. -M-MESSENGEW. Wabienyus- -;;w;; This is *twerks* stiff nyews- hath with his Pawthian fowce -Extended Asia fwom UwU Euphwates, -His conquewing b-bannyew *moans* shook fwom Sywia -To Wydia and to Ionyia, -Whiwst- -ANTONY. Antony, thou wouwdst say. -MESSENGEW. O, my ;;w;; wowd! -ANTONY. S-Speak t-to me home; mince nyot the genyewaw ^-^ tongue; -Nyame Cweopatwa *screams* as she is caww'd in Wome. -Waiw *cuddles you* thou in F-Fuwvia's *pokes you* phwase, and taunt my x3 fauwts -With ^.^ such fuww w-wicence as both t-twuth and mawice -^w^ Have powew t-to uttew. O, then we b-bwing fowth w-weeds -When ouw *hugs tightly* quick minds wie stiww, and ouw iwws towd *moans* us -Is a-as ^-^ ouw eawing. Fawe *giggles shyly* thee weww awhiwe. -MESSENGEW. At youw nyobwe pweasuwe. Exit -ANTONY. Fwom *screams* Sicyon, ho, the n-nyews! Speak *looks away* thewe! -FIWST ATTENDANT. The man fwom Sicyon- is thewe such ^-^ an onye? -SECOND >w< ATTENDANT. He stays upon youw wiww. -ANTONY. *cuddles you* Wet h-him ;;w;; appeaw. -T-These stwong Egyptian fettews I must bweak, -Ow ^-^ wose mysewf in dotage. - -Entew anyothew MESSENGEW with a-a wettew - -What *notices bulge* awe you? -SECOND MESSENGEW. Fuwvia thy w-wife is dead. -A-ANTONY. Whewe died she? -S-SECOND MESSENGEW. In S-Sicyon. -^w^ Hew wength o-of sicknyess, with what ewse mowe sewious -Impowteth thee to knyow, this beaws. [Gives the wettew] -ANTONY. Fowbeaw OwO me. Exit MESSENGEW -Thewe's a g-gweat spiwit gonye! Thus did I desiwe it. -What o-ouw contempts doth often *teleports behind you* huww fwom us -We wish it ouws again; the pwesent p-pweasuwe, -By wevowution wow'wing, does become -The opposite of itsewf. She's g-good, being gonye; -The hand couwd pwuck hew back *leans over* that shov'd hew on. -I must fwom this enchanting q-queen bweak off. -Ten *moans* thousand h-hawms, mowe *teleports behind you* than the iwws I knyow, -My idwenyess doth hatch. How nyow, Enyobawbus! - -We-entew ENyOBAWBUS - -ENyOBAWBUS. What's youw p-pweasuwe, siw? -ANTONY. ;;w;; I must with haste fwom hence. -ENyOBAWBUS. Why, then w-we kiww aww ouw women. W-We see how mowtaw *teleports behind you* an -unkindnyess *moans* is to them; if they suffew ouw depawtuwe, death's the -w-wowd. -ANTONY. >_> I m-must be gonye. -ENyOBAWBUS. Undew :3 a compewwing o-occasion, wet women die. It wewe pity -UwU to cast them away fow OwO nyothing, though b-between them and a gweat -cause they shouwd b-be e-esteemed n-nyothing. C-Cweopatwa, *pokes you* catching *sighs* but -the weast nyoise of this, dies instantwy; I *sighs* have s-seen h-hew die -twenty times upon faw poowew moment. I d-do think thewe is m-mettwe -i-in d-death, which *giggles shyly* commits some w-woving act upon hew, she hath such a -c-cewewity in dying. -A-ANTONY. She is cunnying past man's thought. -ENyOBAWBUS. Awack, s-siw, nyo! H-Hew passions awe made of nyothing but the -finyest pawt of puwe wove. W-We cannyot caww hew winds and w-watews -s-sighs a-and teaws; t-they awe gweatew stowms and t-tempests >w< than -awmanyacs can wepowt. This OwO cannyot be cunnying in hew; if it be, she -makes a show'w of wain a-as weww *shuffles closer* as Jove. -ANTONY. Wouwd I had nyevew seen hew! -ENyOBAWBUS. O Siw, y-you h-had then weft unseen a wondewfuw piece of -wowk, which nyot to have been bwest withaw w-wouwd have discwedited -youw twavew. -ANTONY. Fuwvia *giggles shyly* is dead. -ENyOBAWBUS. Siw? -A-ANTONY. Fuwvia i-is dead. -ENyOBAWBUS. Fuwvia? -ANTONY. Dead. -ENyOBAWBUS. Why, siw, give t-the gods a thankfuw sacwifice. When it -pweaseth theiw deities to take the wife of a-a man fwom him, it -shows to man the taiwows of the e-eawth; comfowting thewein that -when owd w-wobes awe wown out thewe :33 awe membews to make nyew. If -^.^ thewe wewe nyo mowe w-women but F-Fuwvia, then had you indeed a-a cut, -and the case to be wamented. This gwief is cwown'd with -consowation: youw *leans over* owd s-smock bwings fowth a nyew petticoat; and -indeed *cries* the teaws wive i-in an ^-^ onyion that shouwd xDD watew this sowwow. -ANTONY. The *teleports behind you* businyess she hath bwoached in the state -Cannyot enduwe m-my absence. -ENyOBAWBUS. And the businyess you h-have bwoach'd hewe cannyot *cuddles you* be -without you; especiawwy that of C-Cweopatwa's, which w-whowwy depends -on youw abode. -ANTONY. Nyo mowe wight answews. Wet ouw >_< officews -Have nyotice what we puwpose. I ^-^ shaww bweak -The cause *shuffles closer* of >_> ouw expedience to the Queen, -And g-get hew w-weave ^-^ to pawt. Fow nyot a-awonye -The death of ^-^ Fuwvia, with mowe uwgent touches, -Do stwongwy UwU speak to *screams* us; but t-the *blushes* wettews to -Of many ouw contwiving fwiends in Wome -Petition us a-at home. S-Sextus Pompeius -H-Hath given the dawe *blushes* to Caesaw, and c-commands -*notices bulge* The empiwe of the sea; ouw swippewy peopwe, -Whose wove is nyevew *looks at you* wink'd to the *notices bulge* desewvew -T-Tiww his *notices bulge* desewts awe *looks at you* past, begin t-to thwow -Pompey the Gweat and aww his dignyities -Upon his son; ^-^ who, high in *shuffles closer* nyame and powew, -*notices bulge* Highew than both in b-bwood a-and wife, stands up -Fow the *pokes you* main sowdiew; whose quawity, going *teleports behind you* on, -*leans over* The s-sides o' th' wowwd UwU may dangew. Much is bweeding -Which, wike UwU the couwsew's haiw, h-hath yet but wife -And nyot a s-sewpent's p-poison. Say ouw pweasuwe, -To such whose *pokes you* pwace ^.^ is undew us, wequiwes -Ouw quick wemove fwom hence. -ENyOBAWBUS. *moans* I shaww do't. Exeunt - - - - -*cuddles you* SCENyE III. -A-Awexandwia. *giggles shyly* CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, IWAS, and x3 AWEXAS - -CWEOPATWA. W-Whewe :33 is he? -CHAWMIAN. I :3 did nyot see him since. -CWEOPATWA. S-See whewe *sighs* he is, who's with him, uWu what he does. -*notices bulge* I did nyot send you. If you f-find *notices bulge* him s-sad, -Say I am dancing; if in miwth, wepowt -That I am sudden sick. x3 Quick, and wetuwn. Exit AWEXAS -CHAWMIAN. Madam, methinks, i-if you did wove him deawwy, -You do n-nyot howd the method to enfowce -The wike fwom him. -CWEOPATWA. >w< What uWu shouwd UwU I do I *twerks* do nyot? -CHAWMIAN. *looks at you* In each thing give him way; c-cwoss him in nyothing. -C-CWEOPATWA. Thou teachest wike *giggles shyly* a foow- the way to wose *sighs* him. -C-CHAWMIAN. uWu Tempt h-him *twerks* nyot so xDD too faw; I wish, fowbeaw; -In time we hate that *sweats* which we UwU often feaw. - -Entew ANTONY - -But hewe c-comes Antony. -C-CWEOPATWA. I ;;w;; am sick and suwwen. -A-ANTONY. I am sowwy t-to give bweathing to my p-puwpose- -CWEOPATWA. Hewp m-me away, ;;w;; deaw Chawmian; I shaww faww. -It cannyot be thus wong; the sides of nyatuwe -W-Wiww nyot sustain it. -ANTONY. *blushes* Nyow, my deawest queen- -CWEOPATWA. Pway you, *looks away* stand fawthew fwom me. -ANTONY. What's the mattew? -*shuffles closer* CWEOPATWA. I knyow by that same *cries* eye thewe's some good nyews. -W-What *giggles shyly* says t-the mawwied woman? *twerks* You may go. -Wouwd she had nyevew given you w-weave >_> to come! -Wet x3 hew nyot say '-'tis I that k-keep you hewe- -I *sweats* have nyo p-powew upon y-you; hews you awe. -ANTONY. *twerks* The gods best knyow- -*twerks* CWEOPATWA. O, nyevew was thewe queen -So *shuffles closer* mightiwy *hugs tightly* betway'd! Yet *cuddles you* at the fiwst -I saw the tweasons pwanted. -ANTONY. ^-^ Cweopatwa- -CWEOPATWA. Why shouwd I think you c-can be minye ^-^ and twue, -T-Though you in ^w^ sweawing shake the thwonyed *notices bulge* gods, -*teleports behind you* Who have been fawse OwO to Fuwvia? Wiotous m-madnyess, -To be entangwed with those mouth-made v-vows, -uWu Which bweak themsewves in >w< sweawing! -ANTONY. *sighs* Most sweet queen- -CWEOPATWA. Nyay, pway you seek n-nyo cowouw fow youw going, -:3 But bid faweweww, and go. ^-^ When you sued staying, -^w^ Then was the time fow wowds. N-Nyo going then! -*shuffles closer* Etewnyity *blushes* was ;;w;; in o-ouw UwU wips and eyes, -Bwiss *sweats* in ouw bwows' bent, nyonye ouw pawts s-so *sighs* poow -But w-was a wace of heaven. They x3 awe >_< so x3 stiww, -Ow thou, the *leans over* gweatest sowdiew of the wowwd, -Awt tuwn'd t-the gweatest w-wiaw. -ANTONY. H-How nyow, wady! -CWEOPATWA. I wouwd I had thy inches. Thou shouwdst knyow -^-^ Thewe wewe a heawt in Egypt. -ANTONY. Heaw m-me, queen: -The stwong nyecessity of time *shuffles closer* commands -Ouw s-sewvices awhiwe; but my fuww heawt -Wemains in use with you. Ouw Itawy -Shinyes o'ew with c-civiw swowds: Sextus UwU Pompeius -Makes his appwoaches to the powt of Wome; -*notices bulge* Equawity of two domestic p-powews -Bweed scwupuwous faction; the hated, g-gwown t-to stwength, -Awe nyewwy g-gwown to wove. >_< The condemn'd Pompey, -Wich in his fathew's honyouw, cweeps apace -I-Into the heawts UwU of such as have nyot thwived -*blushes* Upon the pwesent s-state, whose ^w^ nyumbews thweaten; -And quietnyess, gwown sick of *sweats* west, wouwd puwge -B-By any despewate c-change. My m-mowe pawticuwaw, -And *cries* that uWu which most *hugs tightly* with you shouwd safe my g-going, -Is Fuwvia's death. -CWEOPATWA. Though age fwom fowwy c-couwd nyot give me fweedom, -It *sighs* does *looks at you* fwom chiwdishnyess. Can *looks away* Fuwvia die? -ANTONY. She's d-dead, m-my Queen. -Wook hewe, and at thy soveweign weisuwe wead -The gawboiws she *teleports behind you* awak'd. At t-the w-wast, *sweats* best. -See when and whewe she died. -CWEOPATWA. O *leans over* most fawse wove! -Whewe b-be the *cuddles you* sacwed viaws *teleports behind you* thou shouwdst fiww -With :3 sowwowfuw watew? Nyow *twerks* I see, I see, -In Fuwvia's death how minye ^-^ weceiv'd OwO shaww be. -ANTONY. Quawwew >_> nyo :3 mowe, but be pwepaw'd to *sighs* knyow -The puwposes I beaw; which awe, ow >_< cease, -As you *looks away* shaww give th' a-advice. By the fiwe -That *giggles shyly* quickens Nyiwus' *leans over* swime, I go fwom hence -Thy sowdiew, sewvant, making peace ow waw -As t-thou affects. -CWEOPATWA. >_> Cut m-my wace, Chawmian, come! -*shuffles closer* But w-wet it b-be; *sighs* I am quickwy iww and weww- -S-So Antony woves. -ANTONY. My pwecious queen, fowbeaw, -A-And give twue evidence *pokes you* to his wove, which stands -*hugs tightly* An honyouwabwe twiaw. -CWEOPATWA. So Fuwvia t-towd *blushes* me. -I p-pwithee tuwn aside and weep uWu fow UwU hew; -Then bid adieu to me, and say the *looks at you* teaws -Bewong to Egypt. Good uWu nyow, pway onye scenye -Of excewwent dissembwing, and w-wet :3 it wook ->_< Wike pewfect honyouw. -*giggles shyly* ANTONY. You'ww heat my bwood; nyo mowe. -CWEOPATWA. You can do bettew yet; but this *twerks* is meetwy. -ANTONY. Nyow, by my >_> swowd- -CWEOPATWA. And tawget. Stiww he mends; -But t-this is ^w^ nyot the b-best. Wook, pwithee, Chawmian, -How this Hewcuwean W-Woman does become -The cawwiage of his chafe. -ANTONY. xDD I'ww *teleports behind you* weave you, w-wady. -CWEOPATWA. Couwteous w-wowd, *blushes* onye :33 wowd. -Siw, you and I *blushes* must pawt- but that's nyot :3 it. -Siw, y-you and I have wov'd- b-but thewe's nyot *looks at you* it. -That >w< you knyow weww. Something it is I-I wouwd- -O, my obwivion is a vewy Antony, -And I am aww fowgotten! -ANTONY. But t-that youw woyawty -Howds *screams* idwenyess y-youw subject, I s-shouwd take *cries* you -Fow idwenyess itsewf. -CWEOPATWA. 'Tis s-sweating wabouw -To beaw such idwenyess so nyeaw *sweats* the heawt -A-As *giggles shyly* Cweopatwa this. But, siw, f-fowgive me; -:33 Since m-my b-becomings kiww me w-when they do nyot -Eye w-weww :33 to you. Youw honyouw cawws you hence; -Thewefowe be deaf *pokes you* to my unpitied fowwy, -And *cuddles you* aww *shuffles closer* the *looks at you* gods go with you! Upon ^w^ youw swowd -*hugs tightly* Sit wauwew victowy, and s-smooth success -Be stwew'd befowe youw feet! -ANTONY. Wet us go. Come. -Ouw sepawation so abides and f-fwies -That thou, wesiding hewe, goes yet *shuffles closer* with me, -And I-I, hence fweeting, hewe :33 wemain with t-thee. -Away! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-IV. -*sighs* Wome. CAESAW'S h-house - -Entew *looks away* OCTAVIUS CAESAW, weading a wettew; WEPIDUS, and theiw twain - -CAESAW. You may OwO see, Wepidus, and hencefowth knyow, -It i-is nyot C-Caesaw's nyatuwaw vice to hate -Ouw gweat competitow. Fwom A-Awexandwia -This is the nyews: he fishes, dwinks, a-and wastes -*sighs* The w-wamps *looks at you* of nyight in wevew; is *notices bulge* nyot mowe manwike -*leans over* Than Cweopatwa, n-nyow ^-^ the queen of Ptowemy -Mowe *notices bulge* womanwy than he; *moans* hawdwy gave ^w^ audience, *looks away* ow -Vouchsaf'd to think h-he had pawtnyews. You OwO shaww >_> find thewe -A-A man who is the abstwact o-of *moans* aww fauwts -T-That aww men *hugs tightly* fowwow. -W-WEPIDUS. I must nyot think thewe a-awe -Eviws enyow to dawken aww his goodnyess. -His f-fauwts, in him, seem as the spots of heaven, -Mowe fiewy by nyight's bwacknyess; heweditawy -Wathew than puwchas'd; what he cannyot change -Than what he chooses. -C-CAESAW. You a-awe too ^.^ induwgent. Wet's gwant i-it is n-nyot -Amiss to tumbwe on the bed of Ptowemy, -To give a *twerks* kingdom fow a miwth, to sit -And keep the tuwn of *blushes* tippwing with a swave, -To weew the stweets a-at nyoon, and stand t-the buffet -With knyaves that smeww of >_> sweat. Say this becomes *cuddles you* him- -As h-his composuwe *notices bulge* must be w-wawe indeed -Whom these things cannyot bwemish- yet m-must *teleports behind you* Antony -N-Nyo *hugs tightly* way >_> excuse his foiws when we do ^w^ beaw -So gweat weight in his wightnyess. If he fiww'd -His vacancy *looks at you* with his v-vowuptuousnyess, -Fuww *pokes you* suwfeits and the dwynyess of his ;;w;; bonyes -Caww on him fow't! But to confound such time -That dwums him fwom h-his spowt and speaks as woud -As his own state and ouws- 'tis to be ^-^ chid -As *cuddles you* we wate boys w-who, being matuwe in knyowwedge, -*looks at you* Pawn theiw expewience to *looks at you* theiw pwesent p-pweasuwe, -And so webew *looks away* to *twerks* judgment. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -W-WEPIDUS. Hewe's mowe nyews. -MESSENGEW. Thy *blushes* biddings *leans over* have been donye; a-and evewy houw, -Most nyobwe Caesaw, shawt thou *sweats* have wepowt -How 'tis abwoad. Pompey is xDD stwong at sea, -And it *twerks* appeaws h-he is b-bewov'd of ;;w;; those ->_> That o-onwy have feaw'd Caesaw. T-To t-the powts -The discontents wepaiw, and men's wepowts -Give him m-much wwong'd. -*hugs tightly* CAESAW. I shouwd have x3 knyown nyo >w< wess. -It hath ;;w;; been taught *sighs* us fwom t-the ^.^ pwimaw state -That he which i-is was wish'd untiw he wewe; -*sighs* And the e-ebb'd man, :33 nye'ew w-wov'd tiww :3 nye'ew wowth wove, -C-Comes deaw'd by being wack'd. This common body, -Wike *moans* to a vagabond fwag upon t-the stweam, -Goes to >w< and back, w-wackeying the v-vawying tide, -To w-wot itsewf ;;w;; with m-motion. -MESSENGEW. Caesaw, I bwing thee *moans* wowd -Menyecwates and M-Menyas, famous piwates, -Make the sea sewve them, *sighs* which x3 they eaw a-and *hugs tightly* wound -*pokes you* With >_> keews of evewy kind. Many hot inwoads -*sweats* They make in Itawy; t-the bowdews mawitime -Wack bwood to think on't, and fwush youth wevowt. -:33 Nyo vessew c-can peep fowth but 'tis as soon -Taken as seen; *looks at you* fow Pompey's n-nyame stwikes *looks away* mowe -T-Than couwd h-his *sighs* waw wesisted. -CAESAW. Antony, -Weave thy wascivious wassaiws. W-When ^-^ thou o-once -*screams* Was *twerks* beaten fwom Modenya, whewe :3 thou swew'st -Hiwtius and OwO Pansa, consuws, at thy heew -Did faminye fowwow; whom thou fought'st against, -Though daintiwy bwought up, *looks at you* with patience mowe -Than savages couwd *twerks* suffew. Thou d-didst dwink -The stawe of h-howses a-and the giwded puddwe -Which beasts wouwd cough at. Thy pawate then did deign -The woughest bewwy on the wudest h-hedge; -Yea, >_> wike *sweats* the stag when snyow the *hugs tightly* pastuwe *hugs tightly* sheets, -The bawks of twees thou bwows'd. On the Awps -:33 It ^.^ is wepowted thou didst eat stwange f-fwesh, -Which some did d-die to w-wook o-on. *moans* And aww t-this- -It wounds thinye honyouw that I s-speak i-it nyow- -Was bownye s-so wike a sowdiew t-that ^-^ thy cheek -So much as *looks at you* wank'd nyot. -WEPIDUS. 'Tis pity of him. -CAESAW. Wet his shames quickwy -Dwive him to Wome. 'Tis t-time :3 we twain -Did show o-ouwsewves i-i' th' f-fiewd; UwU and to that end -Assembwe w-we *teleports behind you* immediate counciw. OwO Pompey -Thwives in ouw uWu idwenyess. -W-WEPIDUS. To-mowwow, Caesaw, -I shaww b-be ^w^ fuwnyish'd t-to :3 infowm you wightwy -Both what by sea and wand I-I *sweats* can be abwe -To fwont this p-pwesent time. -CAESAW. T-Tiww which encountew -It *pokes you* is my businyess too. UwU Faweweww. -WEPIDUS. Faweweww, my wowd. What you shaww knyow m-meantime -Of *moans* stiws abwoad, I shaww beseech you, siw, -To wet me be pawtakew. -CAESAW. Doubt nyot, siw; -I knyew it f-fow my bond. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -A-Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, IWAS, and MAWDIAN - -CWEOPATWA. Chawmian! -CHAWMIAN. M-Madam? -CWEOPATWA. H-Ha, ha! -Give me to dwink mandwagowa. -CHAWMIAN. W-Why, madam? -CWEOPATWA. That I might sweep out *moans* this *sweats* gweat gap of time -My Antony is a-away. -CHAWMIAN. You *cuddles you* think of h-him too much. -C-CWEOPATWA. *looks at you* O, *screams* 'tis uWu tweason! -CHAWMIAN. Madam, I twust, >_> nyot so. -CWEOPATWA. Thou, eunyuch x3 Mawdian! -*shuffles closer* MAWDIAN. What's youw Highnyess' pweasuwe? -CWEOPATWA. Nyot uWu nyow to heaw thee *sighs* sing; I take nyo p-pweasuwe -I-In *moans* aught an eunyuch has. 'Tis weww fow thee -That, being unseminyaw'd, *looks away* thy fweew thoughts -May uWu nyot fwy fowth of Egypt. *sweats* Hast thou affections? -MAWDIAN. Yes, gwacious madam. -uWu CWEOPATWA. Indeed? -MAWDIAN. Nyot in deed, *sighs* madam; f-fow I can d-do nyothing -But *moans* what indeed is honyest t-to b-be donye. -Yet have I fiewce affections, and think -What Venyus did with Maws. -CWEOPATWA. O Chawmian, -W-Whewe think'st thou he *sighs* is nyow? Stands he ow s-sits h-he? -*moans* Ow does he *twerks* wawk? ow is he o-on his howse? -O happy howse, to beaw the w-weight o-of Antony! -*pokes you* Do bwavewy, howse; fow wot'st thou whom thou mov'st? -:3 The d-demi-Atwas of this eawth, the awm -And buwgonyet of men. He's speaking >_< nyow, -Ow muwmuwing 'Whewe's my sewpent of owd N-Nyiwe?' -Fow so he *cries* cawws me. Nyow I feed mysewf -With m-most d-dewicious poison. Think on m-me, -That am with Phoebus' amowous pinches UwU bwack, -And w-wwinkwed deep in time? Bwoad-fwonted Caesaw, -When thou wast hewe above the gwound, I was -*giggles shyly* A mowsew fow a *pokes you* monyawch; *screams* and gweat Pompey -^-^ Wouwd stand and make h-his eyes gwow in my bwow; -T-Thewe w-wouwd he anchow ^.^ his a-aspect and die -W-With wooking on his wife. - -Entew x3 AWEXAS - -AWEXAS. Soveweign of Egypt, h-haiw! -CWEOPATWA. H-How *teleports behind you* much unwike a-awt thou Mawk Antony! -^-^ Yet, c-coming fwom *blushes* him, that g-gweat med'cinye hath -With his *blushes* tinct giwded thee. -How goes *moans* it with my bwave Mawk Antony? -AWEXAS. Wast thing *pokes you* he did, deaw Q-Queen, -He kiss'd- t-the wast o-of *screams* many doubwed kisses- -This owient peaww. His speech sticks in my heawt. -CWEOPATWA. Minye x3 eaw must p-pwuck i-it thence. -AWEXAS. 'Good fwiend,' quoth h-he -'Say t-the *blushes* fiwm W-Woman to gweat Egypt s-sends -T-This *moans* tweasuwe of an oystew; at whose foot, -To mend the OwO petty pwesent, I wiww piece -Hew *cries* opuwent :33 thwonye with kingdoms. Aww the East, -xDD Say thou, shaww caww h-hew mistwess.' So he nyodded, -And sobewwy UwU did mount a-an awm-gaunt steed, -Who nyeigh'd so high that what I wouwd have spoke -Was beastwy dumb'd *hugs tightly* by him. -CWEOPATWA. *hugs tightly* What, w-was he sad ow mewwy? -AWEXAS. Wike >_< to the time o' th' yeaw between t-the extwemes -Of *hugs tightly* hot and cowd; he *blushes* was nyow sad nyow :33 mewwy. -CWEOPATWA. O weww-divided disposition! Nyote him, -Nyote him, good Chawmian; *shuffles closer* 'tis the man; but nyote him! -OwO He was nyot sad, *pokes you* fow he ^w^ wouwd shinye o-on those -That make theiw wooks by his; he was n-nyot mewwy, -Which seem'd to teww them *shuffles closer* his *screams* wemembwance w-way -*leans over* In Egypt with his UwU joy; *twerks* but between both. -O heavenwy :33 mingwe! Be'st *teleports behind you* thou sad *teleports behind you* ow mewwy, -T-The viowence of eithew thee becomes, -*moans* So does it nyo man ewse. Met'st *cries* thou my posts? -AWEXAS. Ay, madam, twenty sevewaw messengews. -Why do you send so thick? -CWEOPATWA. Who's b-bown that day -*looks at you* When I fowget to send to Antony -Shaww die a beggaw. Ink and >_> papew, Chawmian. -Wewcome, my good Awexas. Did *teleports behind you* I, Chawmian, -*notices bulge* Evew wove Caesaw so? -CHAWMIAN. O that bwave Caesaw! -CWEOPATWA. Be chok'd with such anyothew emphasis! -Say >w< 'the bwave *teleports behind you* Antony.' -*pokes you* CHAWMIAN. *blushes* The vawiant C-Caesaw! -CWEOPATWA. By I-Isis, I wiww *pokes you* give thee bwoody t-teeth -If thou with Caesaw pawagon again -My man o-of men. -CHAWMIAN. By youw most gwacious pawdon, -I sing but *blushes* aftew you. -CWEOPATWA. My sawad days, -When I w-was g-gween in judgment, cowd i-in bwood, -To say as *looks at you* I *looks away* said xDD then. But come, away! -G-Get me i-ink and papew. -He shaww have evewy *leans over* day a sevewaw gweeting, -Ow *twerks* I'ww unpeopwe Egypt. Exeunt - - - -<> - - - - -ACT II. *blushes* SCENyE I. ->_> Messinya. P-POMPEY'S house - -Entew POMPEY, MENyECWATES, and MENyAS, in wawwike mannyew - -POMPEY. ^w^ If the *looks away* gweat gods *hugs tightly* be just, they s-shaww assist -The deeds of justest men. -MENyECWATES. Knyow, wowthy Pompey, -That what *hugs tightly* they do deway they nyot deny. -P-POMPEY. Whiwes we awe >_> suitows to *teleports behind you* theiw thwonye, decays -:3 The thing we sue fow. -MENyECWATES. We, ignyowant of ouwsewves, -Beg often ouw own hawms, UwU which the wise OwO pow'ws -Deny us f-fow ouw good; so f-find we pwofit -By wosing of ouw pwayews. -POMPEY. *teleports behind you* I *hugs tightly* shaww do weww. -T-The peopwe *leans over* wove me, and the s-sea *looks away* is minye; -^w^ My *notices bulge* powews awe cwescent, and my auguwing h-hope -Says it wiww come *looks away* to th' fuww. Mawk A-Antony -*screams* In Egypt sits at dinnyew, and wiww make -Nyo waws without doows. Caesaw gets *notices bulge* monyey whewe -H-He :3 woses heawts. Wepidus f-fwattews b-both, -Of both is fwattew'd; :33 but he nyeithew woves, -Nyow eithew cawes fow h-him. -MENyAS. Caesaw *looks at you* and Wepidus -Awe *blushes* in the fiewd. A mighty stwength they cawwy. -POMPEY. *shuffles closer* Whewe have you this? *shuffles closer* 'Tis fawse. -MENyAS. Fwom Siwvius, siw. -POMPEY. *blushes* He dweams. I-I knyow they awe in Wome togethew, -^w^ Wooking f-fow Antony. But aww the chawms of wove, -Sawt Cweopatwa, s-soften thy wan'd wip! -Wet witchcwaft >w< join with beauty, wust with both; -*sweats* Tie >_< up UwU the wibewtinye in a fiewd of *looks at you* feasts, -Keep his bwain fuming. Epicuwean c-cooks -Shawpen with cwoywess sauce his a-appetite, -That sweep and f-feeding >_> may pwowogue his honyouw -Even tiww OwO a Wethe'd d-duwwnyess- - -Entew *sighs* VAWWIUS - -How *giggles shyly* nyow, Vawwius! -VAWWIUS. This is most cewtain *looks away* that *teleports behind you* I shaww uWu dewivew: -*giggles shyly* Mawk Antony is evewy houw *sighs* in OwO Wome -Expected. Since he *giggles shyly* went fwom Egypt 'tis -A *shuffles closer* space fow uWu fawthew twavew. -POMPEY. I couwd have g-given wess mattew -A b-bettew *pokes you* eaw. M-Menyas, I did nyot *sweats* think -This amowous suwfeitew wouwd have d-donn'd his *looks at you* hewm -F-Fow such a *pokes you* petty waw; *notices bulge* his sowdiewship -Is twice the >_< othew t-twain. But *cuddles you* wet us w-weaw -The highew ouw opinyion, t-that ouw stiwwing -Can fwom the wap of Egypt's w-widow pwuck -The nye'ew-wust-weawied Antony. -MENyAS. I-I c-cannyot hope -C-Caesaw and Antony shaww weww gweet t-togethew. -His wife xDD that's d-dead did twespasses to Caesaw; -His bwothew w-waww'd ^w^ upon him; awthough, I think, -Nyot m-mov'd by Antony. -*teleports behind you* POMPEY. I knyow nyot, Menyas, -*pokes you* How wessew enmities may give way *sweats* to gweatew. -Wewe't n-nyot that we s-stand up against *hugs tightly* them aww, -'Twewe pwegnyant >_< they shouwd ^.^ squawe between themsewves; -Fow t-they have entewtainyed cause enyough -To *giggles shyly* dwaw theiw swowds. But how the feaw *cries* of us -May *moans* cement theiw d-divisions, xDD and :33 bind up -The petty :3 diffewence we yet nyot knyow. -Be't as ouw gods wiww have't! It onwy *blushes* stands -^w^ Ouw wives upon to use ouw stwongest hands. -Come, Menyas. *cuddles you* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Wome. The h-house of WEPIDUS - -Entew ENyOBAWBUS and *leans over* WEPIDUS - -*hugs tightly* WEPIDUS. Good Enyobawbus, '-'tis a-a wowthy deed, -And shaww become you weww, to entweat youw captain -To soft and gentwe *screams* speech. -ENyOBAWBUS. I-I shaww entweat h-him -To answew wike h-himsewf. If Caesaw m-move him, -Wet Antony wook ovew Caesaw's head -And speak as woud as Maws. By Jupitew, -Wewe I the weawew of *teleports behind you* Antonyius' beawd, ->w< I wouwd nyot s-shave't to-day. -WEPIDUS. 'Tis nyot a time -Fow pwivate stomaching. -*twerks* ENyOBAWBUS. Evewy t-time -Sewves fow the mattew that is then *looks at you* bown in't. -*looks away* WEPIDUS. But smaww to gweatew m-mattews must give way. -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyot i-if *leans over* the smaww come fiwst. -WEPIDUS. Youw speech is ^w^ passion; -But pway you s-stiw nyo embews u-up. Hewe comes -The :33 nyobwe Antony. - -E-Entew ANTONY a-and VENTIDIUS - -ENyOBAWBUS. A-And yondew, *looks away* Caesaw. - -Entew CAESAW, MAECENyAS, and AGWIPPA - -ANTONY. If we compose weww hewe, to Pawthia. -Hawk, Ventidius. -CAESAW. I-I *moans* do nyot *looks at you* knyow, Maecenyas. Ask A-Agwippa. -WEPIDUS. Nyobwe fwiends, -That w-which combin'd us was most gweat, and :33 wet nyot -^w^ A weanyew action wend us. *hugs tightly* What's ;;w;; amiss, -May it be gentwy heawd. When *twerks* we >w< debate -Ouw twiviaw diffewence ^w^ woud, we do UwU commit -Muwdew in heawing w-wounds. Then, nyobwe p-pawtnyews, -The wathew fow *screams* I eawnyestwy beseech, -Touch you *teleports behind you* the s-souwest points with sweetest *twerks* tewms, -Nyow cuwstnyess gwow t-to th' mattew. -ANTONY. 'Tis spoken weww. -Wewe we *sighs* befowe ouw awinyies, and to fight, -I shouwd d-do thus. *hugs tightly* [Fwouwish] ->w< CAESAW. Wewcome to Wome. -ANTONY. UwU Thank you. -CAESAW. Sit. -ANTONY. Sit, siw. -:33 CAESAW. Nyay, t-then. [They s-sit] -ANTONY. I w-weawn y-you take things iww >_< which ;;w;; awe nyot so, -Ow being, *teleports behind you* concewn you *pokes you* nyot. -CAESAW. I must be waugh'd at -If, ow fow *teleports behind you* nyothing ow a wittwe, -Shouwd say mysewf offended, and with you -Chiefwy i-i' the wowwd; m-mowe waugh'd a-at that I shouwd -Once nyame you dewogatewy when to sound *leans over* youw nyame -It nyot concewn'd me. -ANTONY. *leans over* My *twerks* being in Egypt, Caesaw, -What was't to ^-^ you? -CAESAW. Nyo mowe than my wesiding hewe at Wome -Might be to you in >_< Egypt. >w< Yet, if you thewe -Did p-pwactise on my state, youw being *sighs* in Egypt -Might be my *cries* question. -ANTONY. How intend *screams* you- p-pwactis'd? -CAESAW. You may be pweas'd to catch at minye intent -By what did hewe befaww me. Y-Youw wife and bwothew -Made waws *pokes you* upon me, a-and theiw contestation -Was theme fow you; y-you wewe *sighs* the wowd of waw. -ANTONY. You do *moans* mistake youw businyess; my *hugs tightly* bwothew nyevew -Did uwge me *teleports behind you* in his act. I did inquiwe i-it, -And have my *moans* weawnying fwom some *screams* twue *notices bulge* wepowts -UwU That dwew theiw swowds with you. Did he nyot wathew -Discwedit m-my authowity with youws, -^-^ And m-make the waws awike against my x3 stomach, -Having *hugs tightly* awike youw c-cause? Of this m-my wettews -Befowe did satisfy you. If you'ww patch *shuffles closer* a quawwew, -As mattew whowe you *blushes* have nyot to m-make it with, -*giggles shyly* It must n-nyot be with this. -x3 CAESAW. You p-pwaise youwsewf -By w-waying defects of judgment *cuddles you* to me; *teleports behind you* but -*blushes* You patch'd up youw *cuddles you* excuses. -ANTONY. Nyot so, nyot so; -I knyow you couwd nyot wack, I am *shuffles closer* cewtain on't, -Vewy nyecessity of t-this *hugs tightly* thought, that I, -Youw pawtnyew *pokes you* in the ^.^ cause 'gainst which he fought, -Couwd nyot *blushes* with gwacefuw *twerks* eyes attend those waws -Which fwonted m-minye own peace. As f-fow my wife, -I *cuddles you* wouwd x3 you had hew spiwit *pokes you* in such a-anyothew! -The t-thiwd o' th' wowwd is y-youws, w-which with a snyaffwe -You *twerks* may p-pace easy, b-but nyot s-such a wife. -ENyOBAWBUS. Wouwd we had aww *giggles shyly* such wives, that the men might go to -waws with the women! -A-ANTONY. So much uncuwbabwe, hew g-gawboiws, Caesaw, -Made out of hew impatience- w-which nyot wanted -*leans over* Shwewdnyess *sweats* of powicy *blushes* too- I gwieving UwU gwant -Did you too much *hugs tightly* disquiet. Fow that you uWu must -OwO But say I couwd nyot hewp it. -CAESAW. I :33 wwote to you -When wioting in Awexandwia; *twerks* you -Did p-pocket u-up my *hugs tightly* wettews, and with taunts -Did gibe my missive out of audience. -ANTONY. Siw, -He feww u-upon m-me ewe admitted. Then -*pokes you* Thwee *twerks* kings I had nyewwy feasted, and did want -Of w-what I w-was i' th' m-mownying; but nyext day -I towd him of mysewf, which was as much -A-As to have ask'd him pawdon. *twerks* Wet t-this fewwow -B-Be nyothing of ouw stwife; *notices bulge* if uWu we contend, -Out *blushes* of ouw *notices bulge* question wipe him. -CAESAW. You have bwoken -*hugs tightly* The awticwe ^-^ of youw oath, which you shaww nyevew -H-Have tongue *notices bulge* to chawge me w-with. -WEPIDUS. uWu Soft, Caesaw! -ANTONY. Nyo; -Wepidus, wet him speak. -The honyouw is sacwed which he ^-^ tawks on nyow, -Supposing *sweats* that I wack'd it. But o-on, Caesaw: -T-The awticwe of my oath- -C-CAESAW. To wend me awms and *screams* aid when I-I wequiw'd *shuffles closer* them, -The which you b-both denyied. -ANTONY. *hugs tightly* Nyegwected, wathew; -And t-then when poisonyed houws *looks at you* had bound me *sweats* up -Fwom minye own knyowwedge. As n-nyeawwy as I m-may, -I'ww ^.^ pway the penyitent to you; but minye honyesty -Shaww nyot make poow my gweatnyess, nyow my >_> powew -Wowk *sighs* without it. Twuth is, *twerks* that Fuwvia, -T-To have me out of Egypt, made waws *sighs* hewe; -F-Fow which mysewf, the ignyowant motive, *moans* do -So faw ask pawdon as befits *sighs* minye honyouw -To stoop in such a case. -WEPIDUS. 'Tis nyobwe >_< spoken. -M-MAECENyAS. I-If *pokes you* it *leans over* might pwease you to e-enfowce nyo fuwthew -The gwiefs between ye- to fowget them quite -Wewe to wemembew that t-the *looks away* pwesent *sighs* nyeed -Speaks to atonye you. -WEPIDUS. :3 Wowthiwy spoken, Maecenyas. -ENyOBAWBUS. Ow, i-if y-you bowwow onye anyothew's w-wove f-fow t-the instant, ->_< you *screams* may, when you heaw nyo mowe wowds of ^w^ Pompey, wetuwn i-it a-again. -*twerks* You shaww have time to w-wwangwe in when you have nyothing ewse to -do. -ANTONY. T-Thou awt a *leans over* sowdiew onwy. Speak nyo :3 mowe. -*giggles shyly* ENyOBAWBUS. That xDD twuth shouwd be ^.^ siwent *shuffles closer* I *blushes* had a-awmost fowgot. -ANTONY. You *pokes you* wwong this p-pwesence; thewefowe speak n-nyo mowe. -*notices bulge* ENyOBAWBUS. Go to, then- youw *giggles shyly* considewate >w< stonye! -CAESAW. I xDD do *looks at you* nyot much uWu diswike the m-mattew, but -The mannyew of his speech; fow't cannyot be -We shaww wemain in fwiendship, ^.^ ouw *cuddles you* conditions -So diff'wing in theiw acts. *hugs tightly* Yet if I k-knyew -What hoop shouwd howd us s-stanch, fwom edge to ^-^ edge -O-O' th' wowwd, I w-wouwd puwsue it. -AGWIPPA. Give m-me >_< weave, Caesaw. -CAESAW. *teleports behind you* Speak, Agwippa. -A-AGWIPPA. Thou hast a sistew b-by the mothew's *cuddles you* side, -Admiw'd O-Octavia. Gweat M-Mawk A-Antony -Is x3 nyow a ;;w;; widowew. -CAESAW. Say nyot so, *cries* Agwippa. -If :3 Cweopatwa *leans over* heawd you, youw w-wepwoof -^-^ Wewe weww desewv'd of washnyess. -ANTONY. I am *giggles shyly* nyot mawwied, Caesaw. Wet me heaw -Agwippa fuwthew speak. -AGWIPPA. >w< To howd y-you in pewpetuaw amity, -To make you bwothews, a-and to k-knyit y-youw h-heawts -With an unswipping knyot, take A-Antony -Octavia to h-his wife; w-whose beauty cwaims -Nyo w-wowse a-a husband than the b-best of men; -Whose viwtue a-and w-whose g-genyewaw ;;w;; gwaces speak -That which nyonye ewse can uttew. B-By this mawwiage -Aww :33 wittwe jeawousies, which nyow seem gweat, -And aww OwO gweat feaws, w-which nyow i-impowt theiw dangews, -*cuddles you* Wouwd then b-be :33 nyothing. T-Twuths wouwd b-be tawes, -Whewe n-nyow hawf tawes b-be twuths. Hew >w< wove to both -Wouwd each ^.^ to o-othew, and aww woves *moans* to *shuffles closer* both, -Dwaw aftew hew. *sweats* Pawdon what I have spoke; -Fow 'tis a studied, nyot a pwesent thought, -By duty wuminyated. -ANTONY. W-Wiww C-Caesaw speak? -CAESAW. Nyot tiww he heaws how Antony is touch'd -W-With w-what is ^.^ spoke a-awweady. -ANTONY. *moans* What p-powew i-is in Agwippa, -If I wouwd say 'Agwippa, b-be it so,' -^.^ To make this good? -C-CAESAW. The powew of Caesaw, OwO and -;;w;; His powew unto Octavia. -ANTONY. May I nyevew -T-To this good puwpose, that so faiwwy shows, -Dweam of impediment! Wet me have thy h-hand. -Fuwthew this act o-of gwace; *sighs* and fwom t-this houw -The *looks away* heawt o-of bwothews govewn *pokes you* in ouw woves -And ;;w;; sway ouw gweat designs! -CAESAW. Thewe is my hand. -A *twerks* sistew I bequeath you, whom nyo ^w^ bwothew -Did e-evew wove so *sighs* deawwy. Wet *looks at you* hew wive -To j-join ouw kingdoms *notices bulge* and o-ouw heawts; x3 and *cuddles you* nyevew -Fwy off ouw woves again! -WEPIDUS. Happiwy, amen! -ANTONY. I did nyot think to dwaw m-my *hugs tightly* swowd 'gainst Pompey; -Fow he h-hath waid stwange couwtesies and gweat -Of wate upon m-me. I *moans* must thank h-him o-onwy, -West my wemembwance s-suffew >_< iww wepowt; -At heew of that, d-defy him. -WEPIDUS. Time cawws upon's. -O-Of us must Pompey *shuffles closer* pwesentwy be sought, -Ow *blushes* ewse he seeks out us. -ANTONY. Whewe wies he? -CAESAW. *pokes you* About the Mount Misenyum. -ANTONY. What is *pokes you* his stwength by wand? -CAESAW. G-Gweat a-and incweasing; but by sea -He is an a-absowute mastew. -*cuddles you* ANTONY. So is the fame. -Wouwd w-we h-had s-spoke togethew! Haste we fow *hugs tightly* it. -Yet, *cuddles you* ewe we *hugs tightly* put o-ouwsewves in awms, dispatch we -T-The b-businyess w-we h-have tawk'd o-of. -CAESAW. UwU With most gwadnyess; -And do invite *looks at you* you to my sistew's view, -Whithew stwaight I'ww w-wead *teleports behind you* you. -ANTONY. Wet us, x3 Wepidus, -N-Nyot >w< wack youw company. -WEPIDUS. *sweats* Nyobwe Antony, -Nyot sicknyess shouwd detain me. [Fwouwish] -Exeunt aww but *giggles shyly* ENyOBAWBUS, AGWIPPA, MAECENyAS -MAECENyAS. Wewcome fwom Egypt, siw. -ENyOBAWBUS. Hawf t-the heawt of Caesaw, wowthy Maecenyas! My honyouwabwe -*leans over* fwiend, Agwippa! -AGWIPPA. *looks away* Good E-Enyobawbus! -MAECENyAS. We have cause to b-be g-gwad t-that mattews awe so weww -digested. Y-You stay'd >_> weww by't in Egypt. -ENyOBAWBUS. Ay, siw; we d-did s-sweep day out xDD of countenyance a-and >w< made -the nyight wight with dwinking. -MAECENyAS. *hugs tightly* Eight w-wiwd *hugs tightly* boaws w-woasted *hugs tightly* whowe at >_< a b-bweakfast, and but -twewve pewsons thewe. Is t-this t-twue? -*hugs tightly* ENyOBAWBUS. T-This *looks away* was but *sweats* as a *leans over* fwy by a-an eagwe. We had much mowe -monstwous mattew of *hugs tightly* feast, which wowthiwy desewved nyoting. -MAECENyAS. She's a most *notices bulge* twiumphant *moans* wady, if w-wepowt be squawe to hew. -ENyOBAWBUS. When she fiwst met Mawk Antony she puws'd up his h-heawt, -*notices bulge* upon the wivew of Cydnyus. -AGWIPPA. Thewe she appeaw'd indeed! Ow m-my wepowtew *twerks* devis'd weww f-fow -hew. -ENyOBAWBUS. I wiww *leans over* teww y-you. -The bawge s-she sat in, wike *sighs* a buwnyish'd thwonye, -:33 Buwn'd *cuddles you* on the watew. The poop was beaten gowd; -Puwpwe the *twerks* saiws, and so pewfumed that -The winds wewe wove-sick *twerks* with t-them; the UwU oaws wewe siwvew, -Which to *moans* the tunye of xDD fwutes k-kept stwoke, and made -The watew which *blushes* they b-beat to fowwow fastew, -As amowous of UwU theiw *shuffles closer* stwokes. Fow hew o-own :3 pewson, -It beggaw'd aww descwiption. She did wie -In hew paviwion, cwoth-of-gowd, of t-tissue, -O'ewpictuwing *shuffles closer* that Venyus whewe we see -The fancy out-wowk *looks at you* nyatuwe. On each side hew -Stood pwetty dimpwed boys, wike s-smiwing Cupids, -With divews-cowouw'd fans, whose wind did *cries* seem -To gwow UwU the dewicate cheeks w-which they did coow, -And what :33 they undid did. -AGWIPPA. O, wawe fow Antony! -ENyOBAWBUS. *cries* Hew gentwewomen, >_< wike t-the Nyeweides, -So many m-mewmaids, tended hew i' th' *shuffles closer* eyes, -And made t-theiw bends uWu adownyings. At the hewm -A seeming mewmaid steews. The siwken tackwe -S-Sweww with the touches *sighs* of t-those :33 fwowew-soft hands -That yawewy fwame the uWu office. F-Fwom t-the bawge -A *twerks* stwange invisibwe pewfume hits the sense -Of the adjacent whawfs. The city cast -Hew p-peopwe out upon hew; a-and Antony, -Enthwon'd i' th' mawket-pwace, d-did sit awonye, -Whistwing t-to th' aiw; which, but fow vacancy, -Had gonye to gaze xDD on *teleports behind you* Cweopatwa t-too, -And made a-a gap in nyatuwe. -AGWIPPA. Wawe Egyptian! -ENyOBAWBUS. Upon *blushes* hew wanding, Antony sent to hew, -Invited hew to suppew. She wepwied -It shouwd *hugs tightly* be bettew he b-became hew guest; -Which she entweated. Ouw couwteous Antony, -*blushes* Whom nye'ew the wowd of 'Nyo' UwU woman heawd speak, -*sweats* Being bawbew'd ten times o'ew, goes t-to the feast, -And fow his o-owdinyawy pays his heawt -Fow ^.^ what ^-^ his eyes *screams* eat onwy. -AGWIPPA. Woyaw wench! -She made gweat Caesaw way his swowd to bed. -*teleports behind you* He *notices bulge* pwoughed hew, and she cwopp'd. -ENyOBAWBUS. I-I saw hew once -H-Hop fowty p-paces *notices bulge* thwough the pubwic stweet; -And, >w< having wost hew bweath, she spoke, >w< and panted, -That ^.^ she did make defect p-pewfection, -A-And, bweathwess, *blushes* pow'w bweathe ;;w;; fowth. -MAECENyAS. Nyow Antony m-must weave hew uttewwy. -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyevew! He wiww nyot. -Age cannyot ;;w;; withew hew, nyow custom s-stawe -Hew infinyite vawiety. Othew w-women cwoy -The appetites they feed, but she makes hungwy -Whewe >_< most she satisfies; *pokes you* fow v-viwest things -Become themsewves in hew, that t-the howy pwiests -Bwess hew w-when she is wiggish. -MAECENyAS. If beauty, wisdom, modesty, can settwe ->w< The heawt o-of Antony, Octavia is -A *blushes* bwessed wottewy to him. -AGWIPPA. Wet us go. -Good Enyobawbus, make youwsewf my guest -Whiwst you abide hewe. -ENyOBAWBUS. Humbwy, siw, I thank y-you. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -*hugs tightly* Wome. CAESAW'S *twerks* house - -Entew ANTONY, CAESAW, OCTAVIA between them - -ANTONY. T-The wowwd and my gweat o-office wiww sometimes -Divide me fwom youw bosom. -O-OCTAVIA. Aww which time -Befowe *screams* the gods m-my knyee *looks away* shaww bow my pwayews -To them fow you. -ANTONY. Good nyight, siw. My O-Octavia, -Wead nyot my *giggles shyly* bwemishes in the wowwd's wepowt. -I h-have nyot kept my squawe; but that to *shuffles closer* come -:3 Shaww aww be donye by t-th' wuwe. Good nyight, deaw wady. -OCTAVIA. Good nyight, s-siw. -CAESAW. G-Good nyight. Exeunt CAESAW and OCTAVIA - -Entew SOOTHSAYEW - -ANTONY. Nyow, siwwah, you d-do wish youwsewf in Egypt? -*moans* SOOTHSAYEW. OwO Wouwd I had nyevew come fwom thence, nyow you t-thithew! -ANTONY. *leans over* If you can- y-youw weason. -SOOTHSAYEW. I see it i-in my motion, have it nyot in ^.^ my tongue; but -yet hie you to Egypt *screams* again. -A-ANTONY. Say to me, -Whose fowtunyes shaww wise highew, Caesaw's ow m-minye? -SOOTHSAYEW. Caesaw's. -Thewefowe, *notices bulge* O Antony, stay nyot by his side. -*hugs tightly* Thy daemon, that uWu thy s-spiwit which keeps t-thee, is -Nyobwe, couwageous, h-high, unmatchabwe, -Whewe C-Caesaw's is nyot; but nyeaw him thy angew -Becomes a feaw, as being o'ewpow'w'd. Thewefowe -Make space enyough between you. -ANTONY. Speak this nyo mowe. -SOOTHSAYEW. To nyonye but thee; nyo mowe but w-when to thee. -I-If thou dost pway with him at a-any game, -T-Thou awt suwe to wose; and of that n-nyatuwaw >_< wuck -He beats ^.^ thee 'gainst the odds. Thy wustwe thickens -When he s-shinyes by. I-I say again, thy spiwit -Is aww afwaid to govewn thee nyeaw him; -But, he away, 'tis nyobwe. -A-ANTONY. Get thee gonye. -*sweats* Say to Ventidius I wouwd speak with him. -Exit SOOTHSAYEW -x3 He shaww to Pawthia.- *shuffles closer* Be it awt ow hap, -He hath spoken twue. The vewy dice *looks at you* obey him; -And i-in ouw spowts my bettew cunnying faints -U-Undew his chance. If we dwaw wots, h-he s-speeds; -His cocks do w-win the battwe stiww of minye, -When it *sighs* is aww to n-nyought, a-and >_> his quaiws evew -Beat ;;w;; minye, :3 inhoop'd, at odds. I w-wiww to Egypt; -And though I m-make this UwU mawwiage *shuffles closer* fow m-my UwU peace, -I-I' th' East m-my p-pweasuwe wies. - -*looks at you* Entew VENTIDIUS - -O, come, Ventidius, -You ;;w;; must to Pawthia. Youw commission's weady; -F-Fowwow me UwU and weceive't. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Wome. A stweet - -Entew WEPIDUS, MAECENyAS, and AGWIPPA - -WEPIDUS. Twoubwe youwsewves *moans* nyo fuwthew. Pway you hasten -Youw genyewaws aftew. -AGWIPPA. Siw, Mawk Antony -Wiww e'en but k-kiss Octavia, and w-we'ww fowwow. -WEPIDUS. Tiww I *sighs* shaww see you in youw s-sowdiew's dwess, -Which wiww become you both, *looks away* faweweww. -MAECENyAS. We shaww, -As I >_< conceive the jouwnyey, be :33 at th' Mount -Befowe you, Wepidus. -WEPIDUS. Youw *blushes* way is showtew; -My puwposes do dwaw me much about. -Y-You'ww win two days upon me. -BOTH. *looks at you* Siw, good *looks at you* success! -WEPIDUS. Faweweww. *looks away* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -xDD Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -*looks at you* Entew C-CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, I-IWAS, and A-AWEXAS - -CWEOPATWA. Give me some music- music, moody food -*teleports behind you* Of *looks away* us that twade in wove. -AWW. T-The music, ho! - -E-Entew MAWDIAN the eunyuch - -C-CWEOPATWA. Wet it awonye! Wet's to ;;w;; biwwiawds. Come, Chawmian. -CHAWMIAN. *blushes* My awm is sowe; best pway with Mawdian. -CWEOPATWA. *pokes you* As weww a woman with an eunyuch pway'd -As w-with a w-woman. Come, you'ww pway w-with me, OwO siw? -M-MAWDIAN. As weww as I can, madam. -CWEOPATWA. A-And when good wiww is show'd, though't come too showt, -*sweats* The actow may pwead ^.^ pawdon. I'ww nyonye n-nyow. -Give me minye angwe- we'ww to th' wivew. Thewe, -M-My music pwaying f-faw *blushes* off, I wiww betway -Tawny-finn'd fishes; my *cuddles you* bended hook shaww piewce -Theiw *twerks* swimy jaws; and UwU as I dwaw t-them up -*sighs* I'ww think t-them >_< evewy onye an Antony, -And say 'Ah ha! Y'awe caught.' -CHAWMIAN. 'Twas m-mewwy when -You w-wagew'd on youw angwing; when youw divew -x3 Did hang *leans over* a UwU sawt fish on his hook, which he -With fewvency dwew up. -CWEOPATWA. That time? O t-times -I waughed him out of patience; and that nyight -I-I *moans* waugh'd h-him into *sweats* patience; *giggles shyly* and nyext *cries* mown, -*sighs* Ewe the ^w^ nyinth h-houw, I-I x3 dwunk him to his bed, -Then *moans* put my tiwes *pokes you* and mantwes on him, whiwst -I w-wowe his swowd Phiwippan. - -*giggles shyly* Entew a MESSENGEW - -O! fwom Itawy? -Wam thou t-thy fwuitfuw t-tidings i-in minye eaws, -That w-wong time have been uWu bawwen. -MESSENGEW. Madam, madam- -CWEOPATWA. Antony's dead! *hugs tightly* If thou say so, *sweats* viwwain, -Thou *twerks* kiww'st thy mistwess; but weww and fwee, -If thou uWu so yiewd him, t-thewe is gowd, *twerks* and hewe -My bwuest veins ^w^ to kiss- a-a hand that kings -H-Have w-wipp'd, and twembwed kissing. -MESSENGEW. Fiwst, madam, he is weww. -*teleports behind you* CWEOPATWA. Why, thewe's mowe gowd. -But, s-siwwah, *cries* mawk, *looks at you* we use -To say the dead awe *looks at you* weww. B-Bwing it to that, -The gowd I give thee ^.^ wiww I mewt and pouw -Down thy iww-uttewing >_< thwoat. -M-MESSENGEW. Good madam, heaw me. -CWEOPATWA. Weww, go to, I wiww. -But thewe's nyo goodnyess in thy face. If Antony -Be fwee and *shuffles closer* heawthfuw- why so tawt OwO a favouw -To twumpet s-such good tidings? If nyot w-weww, -Thou shouwdst come wike a *cuddles you* Fuwy c-cwown'd with snyakes, -Nyot *pokes you* wike a fowmaw *shuffles closer* man. -M-MESSENGEW. Wiww't >_< pwease you heaw me? -CWEOPATWA. I have :3 a mind to stwike thee ewe *giggles shyly* thou speak'st. -Yet, if thou s-say A-Antony *teleports behind you* wives, is weww, -Ow fwiends with Caesaw, uWu ow nyot captive to him, -*screams* I'ww set thee in *moans* a showew o-of x3 gowd, and haiw -Wich peawws upon thee. -MESSENGEW. Madam, he's weww. -CWEOPATWA. *sighs* Weww xDD said. -MESSENGEW. And fwiends w-with C-Caesaw. -*blushes* CWEOPATWA. Th'awt an honyest man. -MESSENGEW. Caesaw *leans over* and he awe gweatew f-fwiends than evew. -CWEOPATWA. *looks away* Make thee a f-fowtunye fwom me. -:3 MESSENGEW. But yet, madam- -*sighs* CWEOPATWA. I do *teleports behind you* nyot wike 'but yet.' It does awway ->_> The *hugs tightly* good pwecedence; fie upon 'but yet'! -OwO 'But yet' is OwO as a gaowew t-to bwing *twerks* fowth -Some monstwous mawefactow. Pwithee, fwiend, -*giggles shyly* Pouw *teleports behind you* out *moans* the pack of mattew to minye eaw, -*giggles shyly* The good and bad togethew. *notices bulge* He's fwiends with Caesaw; -In state of heawth, thou say'st; and, thou s-say'st, fwee. -MESSENGEW. Fwee, *looks away* madam! Nyo; I m-made nyo such w-wepowt. -He's bound unto Octavia. -CWEOPATWA. F-Fow what g-good *giggles shyly* tuwn? -MESSENGEW. Fow the best *leans over* tuwn i' th' bed. -CWEOPATWA. *notices bulge* I *looks at you* am pawe, *teleports behind you* Chawmian. -MESSENGEW. Madam, he's mawwied to Octavia. -CWEOPATWA. T-The most infectious pestiwence upon *giggles shyly* thee! -[Stwikes him d-down] -MESSENGEW. G-Good madam, *sighs* patience. -CWEOPATWA. What say y-you? Hence, [-[Stwikes him] -*twerks* Howwibwe viwwain! ow I'ww spuwn t-thinye *teleports behind you* eyes -Wike b-bawws befowe me; I'ww unhaiw thy h-head; -[-[She hawes h-him up *moans* and down] -Thou shawt be whipp'd with wiwe a-and stew'd in *teleports behind you* bwinye, -Smawting in wing'wing pickwe. -MESSENGEW. Gwacious madam, -I that d-do bwing t-the nyews made *cuddles you* nyot the match. -CWEOPATWA. Say 'tis *twerks* nyot so, a pwovince *leans over* I w-wiww give thee, -And make thy *pokes you* fowtunyes pwoud. The >w< bwow thou hadst -*cries* Shaww m-make thy peace fow moving *notices bulge* me to wage; -And I wiww boot :33 thee with what >_> gift beside -Thy modesty can beg. -MESSENGEW. He's mawwied, *twerks* madam. -CWEOPATWA. Wogue, thou hast w-wiv'd too uWu wong. [-[Dwaws a knyife] -MESSENGEW. Nyay, then I'ww wun. -What mean y-you, madam? I *moans* have made nyo fauwt. Exit -CHAWMIAN. Good >_< madam, *pokes you* keep youwsewf within youwsewf: -The man >w< is innyocent. -CWEOPATWA. Some innyocents scape n-nyot the thundewbowt. -Mewt Egypt into Nyiwe! and kindwy cweatuwes -T-Tuwn a-aww *leans over* to sewpents! Caww the ^.^ swave again. -Though I am m-mad, I-I wiww nyot :3 bite him. Caww! -C-CHAWMIAN. xDD He is afeaw'd to come. -CWEOPATWA. *looks at you* I wiww n-nyot ^-^ huwt him. -^w^ These *notices bulge* hands do wack nyobiwity, that they stwike -A meanyew than mysewf; since I mysewf -Have given mysewf the cause. - -E-Entew the MESSENGEW again - -Come hithew, siw. -T-Though it *screams* be honyest, it is nyevew g-good -To bwing bad nyews. Give :3 to a-a :33 gwacious message -:33 An host of tongues; ^-^ but wet iww tidings teww -Themsewves when t-they be f-fewt. ->_< MESSENGEW. I have donye *moans* my duty. -CWEOPATWA. Is he mawwied? -I cannyot :33 hate thee wowsew *looks away* than I do ->_< If thou again say 'Yes.' -M-MESSENGEW. He's mawwied, madam. -CWEOPATWA. The g-gods confound thee! Dost thou howd thewe *notices bulge* stiww? -MESSENGEW. Shouwd I wie, madam? -CWEOPATWA. O, *leans over* I wouwd thou didst, -So hawf my Egypt wewe submewg'd and made -A cistewn fow scaw'd s-snyakes! G-Go, g-get t-thee hence. -H-Hadst thou *cuddles you* Nyawcissus in thy face, to m-me -Thou wouwdst appeaw *blushes* most ugwy. He is mawwied? -M-MESSENGEW. I cwave youw Highnyess' pawdon. -CWEOPATWA. *screams* He *looks at you* is >_> mawwied? -MESSENGEW. Take nyo UwU offence that I wouwd nyot offend you; -To punyish m-me fow *sweats* what you make me d-do -Seems much unyequaw. He's mawwied to *looks at you* Octavia. -CWEOPATWA. O, t-that his f-fauwt shouwd make a k-knyave of thee -OwO That a-awt nyot what th'awt suwe OwO of! Get thee hence. -The mewchandise which thou h-hast bwought fwom Wome -uWu Awe a-aww too deaw fow m-me. Wie they upon t-thy hand, -And be undonye by 'em! Exit MESSENGEW -CHAWMIAN. ^w^ Good youw Highnyess, patience. -CWEOPATWA. >w< In p-pwaising Antony I h-have dispwais'd *screams* Caesaw. -CHAWMIAN. Many times, madam. -C-CWEOPATWA. I am paid *pokes you* fow't nyow. Wead me fwom hence, -I faint. O Iwas, Chawmian! ^-^ 'Tis nyo mattew. -*pokes you* Go to t-the fewwow, good Awexas; bid him -Wepowt the featuwe of Octavia, hew yeaws, ->_< Hew incwinyation; wet h-him nyot *sweats* weave out -The cowouw of hew haiw. *leans over* Bwing me wowd quickwy. -Exit AWEXAS -Wet him fow evew go- wet him nyot, *notices bulge* Chawmian- -Though he be painted onye way w-wike a Gowgon, -The othew way's a Maws. [To MAWDIAN] -Bid you Awexas -Bwing me wowd h-how taww she is.- P-Pity me, Chawmian, -But do nyot speak to me. W-Wead me to my chambew. ^w^ Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE VI. -N-Nyeaw M-Misenyum - -Fwouwish. E-Entew POMPEY and MENyAS at onye doow, with dwum ^.^ and twumpet; -at anyothew, CAESAW, ^.^ ANTONY, WEPIDUS, ENyOBAWBUS, MAECENyAS, AGWIPPA, -^-^ with sowdiews mawching - -POMPEY. Youw UwU hostages I have, so have *sighs* you minye; -And we shaww tawk befowe we fight. -CAESAW. Most meet -That fiwst we c-come to wowds; and thewefowe have we -Ouw w-wwitten puwposes befowe u-us sent; -Which if t-thou hast considewed, wet us knyow -^w^ If 'twiww *looks away* tie up t-thy discontented swowd -And cawwy back to Siciwy *shuffles closer* much *twerks* taww youth -That ewse must pewish hewe. -POMPEY. To ^-^ you aww *leans over* thwee, -T-The senyatows awonye of this gweat *blushes* wowwd, -Chief factows fow the g-gods: xDD I do nyot knyow -*notices bulge* Whewefowe *sighs* my fathew shouwd wevengews *sweats* want, -Having a-a son and fwiends, since Juwius Caesaw, -*cries* Who at P-Phiwippi the good B-Bwutus ghosted, -Thewe saw OwO you wabouwing *giggles shyly* fow him. What was't -That mov'd pawe Cassius to conspiwe? and w-what -Made the aww-honyouw'd honyest ;;w;; Woman, Bwutus, -With the awm'd west, couwtiews of beauteous fweedom, -To dwench the Capitow, b-but that they wouwd -*notices bulge* Have onye man ;;w;; but a m-man? And that is it -Hath made *shuffles closer* me wig my nyavy, x3 at whose buwden -The angew'd ocean foams; with w-which I meant -To scouwge t-th' ingwatitude t-that despitefuw Wome -Cast on my nyobwe fathew. -CAESAW. Take youw time. -ANTONY. Thou canst nyot feaw u-us, Pompey, with thy saiws; -We'ww speak UwU with thee at sea; at ^w^ wand thou knyow'st -How much we do uWu o'ew-count thee. -P-POMPEY. At wand, indeed, -*giggles shyly* Thou dost o'ew-count me of my fathew's house. -B-But *twerks* since the cuckoo xDD buiwds nyot fow himsewf, -Wemain *shuffles closer* in't as thou mayst. -WEPIDUS. Be pweas'd t-to teww uWu us- -Fow t-this *sweats* is :33 fwom the ^w^ pwesent- how you take -The o-offews we have s-sent you. -CAESAW. *looks away* Thewe's the point. -ANTONY. Which do ;;w;; nyot be entweated to, b-but weigh -What it is wowth embwac'd. -CAESAW. And what may *looks away* fowwow, -To twy a wawgew *teleports behind you* fowtunye. -POMPEY. You have made me offew -Of Siciwy, Sawdinyia; and I must -Wid aww the sea *looks at you* of piwates; then to send -Measuwes of wheat to Wome; this 'gweed upon, -To pawt with unhack'd e-edges and beaw back -Ouw tawges undinted. -AWW. That's uWu ouw offew. -POMPEY. Knyow, *notices bulge* then, -I-I came befowe you hewe a man pwepaw'd -T-To take this :33 offew; but Mawk Antony -Put m-me to some impatience. *giggles shyly* Though I wose -The pwaise of it *moans* by >_< tewwing, you must knyow, -When *shuffles closer* Caesaw and youw bwothew wewe at OwO bwows, -^.^ Youw mothew came to Siciwy and did find -Hew wewcome fwiendwy. -ANTONY. I have heawd ^.^ it, Pompey, -*sighs* And am weww *giggles shyly* studied fow a wibewaw t-thanks -Which I *cries* do owe you. -P-POMPEY. Wet me have youw hand. -I-I did nyot think, siw, to *leans over* have m-met you hewe. -*screams* ANTONY. T-The b-beds i' th' East awe s-soft; and t-thanks to y-you, -That caww'd >w< me timewiew than m-my *hugs tightly* puwpose *shuffles closer* hithew; -Fow I have gainyed by't. -CAESAW. S-Since I saw you wast -Thewe is a *screams* change u-upon y-you. -POMPEY. Weww, I-I *cries* knyow nyot -What counts hawsh fowtunye :3 casts upon my face; -But in my b-bosom ^.^ shaww she nyevew OwO come -To make my heawt h-hew *pokes you* vassaw. -WEPIDUS. Weww UwU met hewe. -POMPEY. I hope so, Wepidus. Thus we awe agweed. -I cwave ouw composition may be wwitten, -And seaw'd between u-us. -CAESAW. That's the nyext :33 to *moans* do. -UwU POMPEY. We'ww feast *cries* each othew ewe :3 we pawt, and wet's -D-Dwaw *teleports behind you* wots who shaww begin. -ANTONY. That wiww I, uWu Pompey. -POMPEY. Nyo, Antony, take the wot; -But, fiwst ow w-wast, ^w^ youw finye :3 Egyptian cookewy -Shaww have the fame. I have heawd t-that J-Juwius Caesaw -Gwew fat with feasting thewe. -ANTONY. You have heawd much. -P-POMPEY. I have faiw meanyings, siw. -ANTONY. And faiw wowds to them. -POMPEY. Then so ;;w;; much have I *leans over* heawd; -And I-I >_< have heawd Apowwodowus *leans over* cawwied- -*looks away* ENyOBAWBUS. N-Nyo *giggles shyly* mowe of that! He *twerks* did x3 so. -POMPEY. W-What, I pway *screams* you? -ENyOBAWBUS. A cewtain queen to C-Caesaw in a-a mattwess. -POMPEY. I-I knyow thee nyow. How faw'st thou, sowdiew? -ENyOBAWBUS. Weww; -And weww am wike to do, f-fow I pewceive -F-Fouw feasts awe towawd. -POMPEY. Wet me shake *leans over* thy hand. -I *moans* nyevew hated thee; I have seen thee fight, -When I have envied thy b-behaviouw. -OwO ENyOBAWBUS. S-Siw, -I *cries* nyevew wov'd you >_< much; but >w< I ha' pwais'd ye -When you have *moans* weww d-desewv'd ten times as ;;w;; much -As I have said *notices bulge* you uWu did. -POMPEY. Enjoy thy pwainnyess; -*shuffles closer* It nyothing iww becomes thee. -Aboawd my g-gawwey I invite you aww. -Wiww you w-wead, wowds? -AWW. Show's the *notices bulge* way, siw. -POMPEY. *screams* Come. Exeunt a-aww but ^-^ ENyOBAWBUS and M-MENyAS -MENyAS. [Aside] *giggles shyly* Thy fathew, Pompey, *twerks* wouwd nye'ew have made this -tweaty.- You *hugs tightly* and *teleports behind you* I have knyown, siw. -E-ENyOBAWBUS. At *looks at you* sea, I t-think. -MENyAS. We have, siw. -ENyOBAWBUS. You have donye *looks at you* weww by watew. -MENyAS. And you by *notices bulge* wand. -ENyOBAWBUS. I Wiww pwaise any m-man that *cries* wiww p-pwaise me; though *cries* it -cannyot be denyied what I have donye by w-wand. -x3 MENyAS. Nyow >w< what I h-have donye by watew. -ENyOBAWBUS. Yes, something you can deny fow *teleports behind you* youw own safety: you -have b-been a gweat thief b-by sea. -MENyAS. And you by wand. -ENyOBAWBUS. Thewe I deny m-my w-wand >_> sewvice. But give me youw h-hand, -*looks away* Menyas; if ouw eyes *giggles shyly* had authowity, *moans* hewe they might take two -thieves kissing. -MENyAS. *screams* Aww men's faces awe *cuddles you* twue, xDD whatsome'ew theiw hands a-awe. -E-ENyOBAWBUS. But thewe i-is nyevew a *giggles shyly* faiw woman has a twue *looks at you* face. -MENyAS. Nyo s-swandew: t-they steaw heawts. -ENyOBAWBUS. We ;;w;; came hithew to *teleports behind you* fight with you. -MENyAS. Fow my pawt, I a-am sowwy it is t-tuwn'd to a dwinking. -Pompey doth this day waugh away his fowtunye. -ENyOBAWBUS. If he do, suwe he cannyot weep't back again. -MENyAS. Y'have *teleports behind you* said, *teleports behind you* siw. *pokes you* We wook'd nyot fow Mawk A-Antony hewe. Pway -you, is he mawwied to Cweopatwa? -ENyOBAWBUS. C-Caesaw' sistew is caww'd Octavia. -M-MENyAS. Twue, siw; she was the wife of Caius Mawcewwus. -ENyOBAWBUS. But she ^w^ is nyow the w-wife of *giggles shyly* Mawcus A-Antonyius. -MENyAS. Pway y-ye, siw? -ENyOBAWBUS. 'Tis t-twue. -MENyAS. Then is Caesaw and xDD he fow evew knyit togethew. -ENyOBAWBUS. If I wewe bound to d-divinye of ^.^ this OwO unyity, I OwO wouwd nyot -pwophesy so. -MENyAS. I t-think the p-powicy o-of that puwpose *pokes you* made mowe in t-the mawwiage -than the wove uWu of the *moans* pawties. -ENyOBAWBUS. I ^.^ think so too. But you s-shaww xDD find the band that seems -to tie theiw fwiendship togethew wiww be the vewy s-stwangwew of -theiw amity: Octavia is of a howy, cowd, x3 and stiww convewsation. -MENyAS. Who wouwd nyot h-have his wife so? -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyot he that himsewf OwO is n-nyot so; w-which is Mawk ^.^ Antony. He -wiww to his Egyptian d-dish again; then shaww the sighs of *cuddles you* Octavia -bwow the *pokes you* fiwe up i-in C-Caesaw, and, as I said befowe, that which is -the stwength *sweats* of theiw amity shaww pwove the immediate authow :3 of -t-theiw v-vawiance. Antony wiww use his affection whewe it is; he -m-mawwied but his occasion *cuddles you* hewe. -MENyAS. And thus it may be. Come, *teleports behind you* siw, wiww y-you aboawd? I have a -*blushes* heawth fow y-you. -ENyOBAWBUS. I *moans* shaww take it, siw. :33 We have us'd ouw thwoats in Egypt. -MENyAS. Come, wet's away. Exeunt - -*pokes you* ACT_2|SC_7 -S-SCENyE VII. -On b-boawd POMPEY'S gawwey, off Misenyum - -Music >w< pways. Entew two ow thwee SEWVANTS with a banquet - -FIWST SEWVANT. *notices bulge* Hewe they'ww *cuddles you* be, man. Some o' *sighs* theiw pwants awe -iww-wooted awweady; the weast uWu wind i-i' th' wowwd wiww bwow them -down. -SECOND SEWVANT. Wepidus i-is high-cowouw'd. -FIWST x3 SEWVANT. They have made him dwink awms-dwink. -SECOND SEWVANT. ^.^ As they pinch :3 onye anyothew by the disposition, *blushes* he -cwies out '-'Nyo mowe!'; weconciwes them to his entweaty and himsewf -to th' dwink. -FIWST *screams* SEWVANT. But it >w< waises the g-gweatew waw between him a-and *twerks* his -discwetion. -SECOND SEWVANT. Why, this >w< it i-is to have *moans* a n-nyame in gweat men's -fewwowship. I-I had a-as w-wief xDD have a weed that wiww do *notices bulge* me nyo sewvice -^-^ as a pawtizan I couwd nyot ^w^ heave. -FIWST SEWVANT. *shuffles closer* To b-be caww'd *notices bulge* into a-a huge ^-^ sphewe, and nyot :33 to be seen -to *looks away* move in't, awe the howes whewe eyes shouwd *sighs* be, which *blushes* pitifuwwy -disastew the ^.^ cheeks. - -A sennyet sounded. *notices bulge* Entew CAESAW, ANTONY, WEPIDUS, -OwO POMPEY, AGWIPPA, MAECENyAS, ENyOBAWBUS, MENyAS, -*sighs* with *sweats* othew CAPTAINS - -ANTONY. [-[To C-CAESAW] Thus do t-they, siw: they take t-the fwow o' th' -Nyiwe -x3 By cewtain scawes i-i' t-th' pywamid; they *giggles shyly* knyow -*moans* By th' height, *looks at you* the wownyess, ow the mean, if *giggles shyly* deawth -Ow foison fowwow. The *cuddles you* highew Nyiwus swewws -*looks away* The mowe i-it pwomises; as it ebbs, *cries* the seedsman -*notices bulge* Upon the swime a-and ooze scattews his gwain, -And showtwy comes to hawvest. -WEPIDUS. Y'have *cuddles you* stwange sewpents thewe. -A-ANTONY. Ay, *cries* Wepidus. -WEPIDUS. ^w^ Youw sewpent of Egypt is bwed nyow of youw mud b-by the -opewation of youw sun; so x3 is youw cwocodiwe. -ANTONY. T-They awe so. -POMPEY. Sit- *blushes* and s-some winye! A-A heawth to Wepidus! -WEPIDUS. I am nyot so weww as I-I shouwd be, but I'ww nye'ew out. -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyot tiww you have x3 swept. I f-feaw me y-you'ww be in tiww -then. -W-WEPIDUS. Nyay, cewtainwy, *notices bulge* I ^-^ have >w< heawd the Ptowemies' pywamises a-awe -vewy goodwy things. Without contwadiction *screams* I have ^-^ heawd that. -MENyAS. [Aside to P-POMPEY] Pompey, a wowd. -POMPEY. [Aside to MENyAS] Say OwO in minye eaw; what i-is't? -MENyAS. [Aside to *notices bulge* POMPEY] UwU Fowsake thy seat, I-I do beseech thee, -UwU Captain, -And heaw me speak a wowd. -POMPEY. *hugs tightly* [ Whispews in's eaw ^.^ ] F-Fowbeaw m-me tiww anyon- -*sighs* This winye f-fow Wepidus! -WEPIDUS. What mannyew o' thing is youw cwocodiwe? -ANTONY. It is :33 shap'd, *looks away* siw, wike *teleports behind you* itsewf, and it is as *notices bulge* bwoad as it -hath :3 bweadth; it is just so *leans over* high as UwU it is, and moves with i-it own -owgans. It wives by ^-^ that which nyouwisheth it, and *pokes you* the ewements -once o-out of it, it twansmigwates. -WEPIDUS. What cowouw ^.^ is it of? -ANTONY. Of it own cowouw too. -WEPIDUS. 'Tis a stwange sewpent. -ANTONY. *giggles shyly* 'Tis *cries* so. :33 And *giggles shyly* the *cuddles you* teaws of it awe wet. -C-CAESAW. W-Wiww this descwiption *teleports behind you* satisfy him? -ANTONY. With the heawth that Pompey gives him, ewse he is a vewy -epicuwe. -POMPEY. [-[Aside t-to MENyAS] Go, hang, siw, hang! Teww me of that! -^w^ Away! -Do as I bid *looks away* you.- Whewe's this cup I caww'd fow? -MENyAS. [Aside to POMPEY] *leans over* If fow the sake of mewit t-thou w-wiwt heaw -me, -Wise fwom thy stoow. -POMPEY. [Aside *cries* to MENyAS] I-I think th'awt mad. [Wises *screams* and w-wawks -aside] The mattew? -MENyAS. I have evew hewd my *sighs* cap off to thy *twerks* fowtunyes. -POMPEY. Thou hast *twerks* sewv'd me w-with much faith. What's *blushes* ewse to say?- -Be jowwy, wowds. -ANTONY. These quicksands, W-Wepidus, -Keep off uWu them, fow you sink. -MENyAS. W-Wiwt thou >_< be OwO wowd of a-aww the *sweats* wowwd? -P-POMPEY. What say'st x3 thou? -MENyAS. *sighs* Wiwt thou be wowd of the w-whowe wowwd? That's twice. -POMPEY. How shouwd that be? -MENyAS. But >_< entewtain i-it, -And *moans* though you think m-me poow, I am the man -Wiww g-give ^w^ thee aww the wowwd. -POMPEY. Hast t-thou *blushes* dwunk weww? -M-MENyAS. Nyo, Pompey, I have kept me fwom the cup. -*moans* Thou awt, if thou *blushes* daw'st be, the eawthwy Jove; -UwU Whate'ew the ocean pawes o-ow ^.^ sky i-incwips -Is thinye, if t-thou wiwt h-ha't. -POMPEY. Show m-me which :33 way. -MENyAS. *cuddles you* These thwee wowwd-shawews, these competitows, -Awe in thy vessew. Wet m-me OwO cut the cabwe; -And when we awe put off, f-faww t-to theiw thwoats. -Aww t-thewe is thinye. -P-POMPEY. Ah, this thou *hugs tightly* shouwdst have donye, -And nyot *pokes you* have s-spoke on't. In me 'tis viwwainy: -In t-thee't had been good sewvice. *cries* Thou must knyow -'Tis nyot my pwofit that does wead minye honyouw: -Minye honyouw, it. >_< Wepent that e'ew thy uWu tongue -Hath so betway'd thinye act. Being donye unknyown, -I s-shouwd have found i-it aftewwawds weww donye, -But must *notices bulge* condemn it nyow. D-Desist, *hugs tightly* and d-dwink. -MENyAS. [Aside] Fow *cuddles you* this, -I'ww nyevew fowwow thy paww'd f-fowtunyes mowe. -Who seeks, and w-wiww nyot take when once 'tis offew'd, -S-Shaww nyevew *hugs tightly* find OwO it mowe. -POMPEY. This h-heawth to Wepidus! -ANTONY. Beaw him *cuddles you* ashowe. I'ww uWu pwedge :33 it f-fow ^.^ him, Pompey. -ENyOBAWBUS. H-Hewe's *looks away* to thee, Menyas! -MENyAS. Enyobawbus, wewcome! -POMPEY. Fiww tiww *looks at you* the *hugs tightly* cup b-be hid. -ENyOBAWBUS. Thewe's a stwong f-fewwow, Menyas. -[Pointing to the sewvant *hugs tightly* who cawwies off xDD WEPIDUS] -MENyAS. Why? -ENyOBAWBUS. 'A beaws the thiwd pawt o-of the wowwd, man; see'st *screams* nyot? -MENyAS. The thiwd p-pawt, then, is :33 dwunk. *sweats* Wouwd it wewe a-aww, -That it might go on w-wheews! -ENyOBAWBUS. Dwink thou; incwease the w-weews. -MENyAS. Come. -POMPEY. This *leans over* is n-nyot yet an Awexandwian feast. -ANTONY. It wipens towawds it. Stwike t-the vessews, ho! -Hewe's to Caesaw! -C-CAESAW. I couwd weww fowbeaw't. -OwO It's monstwous w-wabouw when I-I w-wash my ^-^ bwain -And OwO it gwows fouwew. -ANTONY. Be a c-chiwd o-o' *leans over* th' time. -*pokes you* CAESAW. Possess it, I'ww make answew. -But I had wathew fast fwom aww fouw *pokes you* days -Than OwO dwink so much *cuddles you* in onye. -ENyOBAWBUS. [To ANTONY] Ha, my >_> bwave empewow! -*looks at you* Shaww we dance ^-^ nyow the Egyptian Bacchanyaws -And *shuffles closer* cewebwate ouw dwink? -POMPEY. Wet's ha't, good s-sowdiew. -ANTONY. Come, wet's aww take x3 hands, -Tiww *notices bulge* that the conquewing :3 winye hath steep'd ouw sense -In soft and dewicate W-Wethe. -ENyOBAWBUS. Aww take uWu hands. -Make battewy to ouw eaws w-with t-the woud music, -The whiwe I'ww OwO pwace you; then the boy shaww s-sing; -The h-howding evewy man shaww b-beaw as woud -As his stwong sides can vowwey. -[Music pways. *moans* ENyOBAWBUS pwaces them hand in hand] - -THE SONG -Come, thou monyawch of the x3 vinye, -Pwumpy Bacchus :3 with pink e-eynye! -In t-thy fats o-ouw OwO cawes be dwown'd, -With thy gwapes ouw haiws be cwown'd. -Cup us tiww the wowwd go wound, -Cup *moans* us tiww the wowwd go wound! - -C-CAESAW. What wouwd *cries* you mowe? Pompey, good n-nyight. Good bwothew, -Wet me wequest you off; ouw gwavew businyess -Fwowns at ^w^ this wevity. Gentwe wowds, wet's UwU pawt; -*pokes you* You see we ^-^ have buwnt UwU ouw cheeks. ^-^ Stwong Enyobawb -Is weakew than the winye, and minye own *looks at you* tongue -Spwits what it speaks. The wiwd disguise hath awmost -A-Antick'd *giggles shyly* us aww. What nyeeds mowe wowds? ^-^ Good nyight. -*hugs tightly* Good Antony, youw hand. -POMPEY. I'ww twy you on the showe. -ANTONY. And shaww, siw. Give's youw h-hand. -P-POMPEY. O-O Antony, -You h-have my fathew's *shuffles closer* house- but what? We awe *pokes you* fwiends. -Come, down into the b-boat. -ENyOBAWBUS. T-Take heed you faww nyot. -Exeunt aww but ENyOBAWBUS and MENyAS -Menyas, I'ww nyot o-on showe. -MENyAS. Nyo, to *looks away* my cabin. -These dwums! these twumpets, ^.^ fwutes! what! -Wet Nyeptunye heaw w-we bid a w-woud faweweww -*blushes* To these gweat fewwows. Sound and be hang'd, sound out! -;;w;; [Sound a f-fwouwish, uWu with dwums] -ENyOBAWBUS. >_< Hoo! says 'a. Thewe's my cap. -M-MENyAS. Hoo! Nyobwe Captain, come. Exeunt -ACT_3|SC_1 -ACT III. SCENyE *cuddles you* I. -A p-pwain in Sywia - -E-Entew VENTIDIUS, *teleports behind you* as it wewe *screams* in t-twiumph, with SIWIUS -and othew Womans, OFFICEWS and sowdiews; the dead body -of PACOWUS bownye befowe him - -VENTIDIUS. *notices bulge* Nyow, dawting Pawthia, awt thou stwuck, and *looks at you* nyow -Pweas'd fowtunye does of *screams* Mawcus Cwassus' death -Make me wevengew. B-Beaw the King's son's body -Befowe o-ouw awmy. Thy Pacowus, Owodes, -Pays t-this fow >_< Mawcus Cwassus. -SIWIUS. Nyobwe Ventidius, -Whiwst yet with Pawthian bwood thy swowd is wawm -The fugitive Pawthians fowwow; spuw t-thwough Media, -Mesopotamia, *teleports behind you* and the shewtews whithew -The wouted fwy. So thy gwand captain, Antony, -Shaww set thee on twiumphant chawiots and -Put gawwands on thy head. -VENTIDIUS. O Siwius, Siwius, -I have donye enyough. A w-wowew pwace, *screams* nyote weww, -May x3 make too >w< gweat a-an a-act; *twerks* fow weawn this, Siwius: -Bettew to weave undonye than by ouw deed -Acquiwe too high a fame when h-him >_> we sewve's a-away. -^-^ Caesaw and Antony h-have evew won -*leans over* Mowe in theiw officew, than pewson. Sossius, -Onye of my pwace i-in Sywia, his wieutenyant, -Fow quick accumuwation of wenyown, -Which he achiev'd UwU by th' minyute, wost his favouw. -Who does i' th' waws mowe than his captain can -Becomes his captain's captain; and ambition, -The sowdiew's viwtue, wathew makes choice of woss ->w< Than gain which dawkens him. -I ^w^ couwd do mowe t-to do Antonyius good, -But 'twouwd offend him; and i-in his *screams* offence -Shouwd my pewfowmance *teleports behind you* pewish. -S-SIWIUS. T-Thou :33 hast, Ventidius, that -Without the which *pokes you* a sowdiew and his swowd -G-Gwants scawce distinction. Thou wiwt wwite *cries* to Antony? -V-VENTIDIUS. I'ww humbwy signyify ^w^ what in his *cries* nyame, -That magicaw w-wowd of waw, we have effected; -How, w-with his bannyews, and his :33 weww-paid wanks, -The nye'ew-yet-beaten howse *notices bulge* of Pawthia -We have *screams* jaded out o' th' fiewd. -x3 SIWIUS. Whewe is he n-nyow? -VENTIDIUS. He puwposeth to Athens; whithew, with what haste -The weight we must convey w-with's w-wiww pewmit, -We shaww appeaw befowe him.- O-On, *giggles shyly* thewe; pass x3 awong. -Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_2 -SCENyE II. Wome. C-CAESAW'S *sweats* house - -Entew AGWIPPA at *blushes* onye doow, ENyOBAWBUS *leans over* at a-anyothew - -^.^ AGWIPPA. What, awe the bwothews pawted? -ENyOBAWBUS. They have dispatch'd w-with Pompey; he is gonye; -The *twerks* othew thwee awe >w< seawing. *leans over* Octavia weeps -To :3 pawt fwom W-Wome; Caesaw is sad; and Wepidus, -Since Pompey's feast, as *leans over* Menyas says, is >w< twoubwed -With the *shuffles closer* gween sicknyess. -AGWIPPA. 'Tis *sweats* a nyobwe Wepidus. -ENyOBAWBUS. A vewy ^.^ finye onye. O-O, *cuddles you* how he woves Caesaw! -A-AGWIPPA. Nyay, but ^w^ how deawwy he adowes Mawk A-Antony! -E-ENyOBAWBUS. Caesaw? Why h-he's the x3 Jupitew o-of men. -*looks away* AGWIPPA. What's Antony? The god *teleports behind you* of J-Jupitew. -ENyOBAWBUS. Spake you o-of C-Caesaw? *twerks* How! the nyonpaweiw! -AGWIPPA. O, Antony! >w< O thou Awabian b-biwd! -ENyOBAWBUS. Wouwd you pwaise *teleports behind you* Caesaw, say 'Caesaw'- go nyo fuwthew. -AGWIPPA. Indeed, he x3 pwied them both *cries* with excewwent pwaises. -^.^ ENyOBAWBUS. But he woves Caesaw best. Yet he woves Antony. -*looks at you* Hoo! heawts, tongues, *looks at you* figuwes, *blushes* scwibes, bawds, poets, xDD cannyot -Think, speak, cast, wwite, sing, nyumbew- hoo!- -His wove to Antony. But a-as fow Caesaw, ->_> Knyeew down, *moans* knyeew down, and wondew. -AGWIPPA. Both h-he >_< woves. -ENyOBAWBUS. They a-awe his shawds, and he theiw beetwe. [Twumpets -within] So- -This is to howse. Adieu, nyobwe ;;w;; Agwippa. -AGWIPPA. *hugs tightly* Good fowtunye, wowthy sowdiew, and faweweww. - -Entew CAESAW, ANTONY, WEPIDUS, and OCTAVIA - -ANTONY. Nyo f-fuwthew, siw. -*sweats* CAESAW. Y-You take *hugs tightly* fwom me a gweat pawt of mysewf; -Use me weww in't. *notices bulge* Sistew, *leans over* pwove such a wife -*shuffles closer* As my t-thoughts make thee, a-and a-as *sighs* my fawthest band -Shaww ^.^ pass on thy appwoof. Most nyobwe uWu Antony, -Wet n-nyot the piece o-of viwtue which is set -Betwixt us as the cement of ouw w-wove -*shuffles closer* To k-keep it buiwded be the *leans over* wam to *cries* battew -The fowtwess of it; fow >_> bettew might we -Have wov'd without ;;w;; this mean, if on both pawts -This be nyot c-chewish'd. -ANTONY. Make me nyot offended -In youw distwust. -CAESAW. I have said. -ANTONY. You shaww n-nyot find, -Though you be thewein *sweats* cuwious, the w-weast cause -Fow what you seem to feaw. So the gods keep you, -And UwU make the heawts of Womans sewve ^.^ youw ends! -We wiww hewe pawt. -CAESAW. Faweweww, x3 my *leans over* deawest sistew, fawe thee weww. -The *notices bulge* ewements be *sighs* kind to thee and make -Thy s-spiwits aww of comfowt! Fawe thee *shuffles closer* weww. -OCTAVIA. My n-nyobwe *looks away* bwothew! -ANTONY. The Apwiw's in hew eyes. It *notices bulge* is *sweats* wove's s-spwing, -And these the s-showews to bwing *blushes* it on. Be cheewfuw. -OCTAVIA. Siw, wook weww *screams* to my husband's h-house; a-and- -C-CAESAW. What, Octavia? -OCTAVIA. I'ww *blushes* teww you in youw e-eaw. -ANTONY. Hew *sighs* tongue wiww nyot obey hew heawt, nyow c-can -Hew heawt i-infowm hew t-tongue- the swan's down feathew, -That stands upon *notices bulge* the sweww at the fuww of x3 tide, -And nyeithew way incwinyes. -ENyOBAWBUS. >w< [Aside to *looks away* AGWIPPA] Wiww Caesaw weep? -AGWIPPA. [Aside t-to ENyOBAWBUS] He has a cwoud in's *blushes* face. -*notices bulge* ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside *giggles shyly* to AGWIPPA] He wewe the wowse fow that, wewe he a -howse; -So is h-he, being :3 a man. -AGWIPPA. :3 [Aside to ENyOBAWBUS] Why, Enyobawbus, -UwU When xDD Antony found Juwius Caesaw dead, -*screams* He >_< cwied awmost to woawing; and he wept -*cries* When *giggles shyly* at Phiwippi he found B-Bwutus swain. -ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside to AGWIPPA] That x3 yeaw, indeed, he *moans* was twoubwed -with a w-wheum; -What w-wiwwingwy he did confound he waiw'd, -Bewieve't- t-tiww *giggles shyly* I weep t-too. -*sighs* CAESAW. Nyo, sweet Octavia, -You shaww *blushes* heaw fwom me stiww; the *looks at you* time shaww nyot -Out-go my t-thinking o-on you. -ANTONY. Come, siw, come; -I'ww wwestwe with you in m-my stwength of ;;w;; wove. -Wook, hewe *giggles shyly* I *notices bulge* have you; thus I wet you g-go, -And *shuffles closer* give y-you to the g-gods. -CAESAW. Adieu; *looks away* be happy! -WEPIDUS. ^.^ Wet aww t-the nyumbew of the staws g-give w-wight -To thy faiw way! -CAESAW. Faweweww, faweweww! [Kisses OCTAVIA] -A-ANTONY. Faweweww! Twumpets sound. Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_3 -SCENyE III. -Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, IWAS, and AWEXAS - -CWEOPATWA. Whewe *hugs tightly* is the fewwow? -AWEXAS. Hawf afeawd to come. -CWEOPATWA. Go to, >w< go to. - -Entew the MESSENGEW as befowe - -Come hithew, siw. -AWEXAS. *hugs tightly* Good Majesty, -Hewod o-of Jewwy dawe nyot wook upon you -But when you awe weww pweas'd. -CWEOPATWA. That Hewod's head -I'ww have. ;;w;; But how, w-when Antony *looks at you* is gonye, -Thwough whom I might command it? Come thou nyeaw. -MESSENGEW. Most gwacious *blushes* Majesty! -UwU CWEOPATWA. D-Didst t-thou *leans over* behowd Octavia? -*shuffles closer* MESSENGEW. Ay, *shuffles closer* dwead Q-Queen. -CWEOPATWA. *blushes* Whewe? -MESSENGEW. Madam, in Wome -I wook'd hew in *moans* the face, and s-saw hew wed -Between hew *sighs* bwothew and M-Mawk Antony. -C-CWEOPATWA. x3 Is she as taww as m-me? -M-MESSENGEW. She is nyot, OwO madam. -C-CWEOPATWA. Didst h-heaw hew speak? I-Is s-she *teleports behind you* shwiww-tongu'd ow w-wow? -MESSENGEW. Madam, I heawd hew speak: she is *blushes* wow-voic'd. -CWEOPATWA. That's nyot *cries* so good. He *blushes* cannyot ^-^ wike hew wong. -*looks at you* CHAWMIAN. >w< Wike hew? O Isis! '-'tis i-impossibwe. -C-CWEOPATWA. I *teleports behind you* think s-so, *cries* Chawmian. Duww of tongue and dwawfish! -What majesty *sweats* is in hew gait? W-Wemembew, -If e'ew thou wook'dst on majesty. -*leans over* MESSENGEW. She *sweats* cweeps. -Hew motion UwU and *cuddles you* hew station awe as onye; -She shows *looks away* a body wathew t-than a wife, -A statue than a bweathew. -CWEOPATWA. Is this cewtain? -MESSENGEW. Ow I *giggles shyly* have nyo obsewvance. -CHAWMIAN. Thwee i-in Egypt -Cannyot make *looks at you* bettew nyote. -CWEOPATWA. He's :33 vewy knyowing; -I do pewceive't. Thewe's nyothing in hew yet. -T-The fewwow has good judgment. -CHAWMIAN. Excewwent. -:33 CWEOPATWA. Guess at *sweats* hew y-yeaws, I pwithee. -MESSENGEW. Madam, -She was a widow. -CWEOPATWA. W-Widow? Chawmian, hawk! -MESSENGEW. And *pokes you* I do think she's thiwty. -CWEOPATWA. Beaw'st thou hew f-face in mind? Is't wong ow wound? -MESSENGEW. Wound even to fauwtinyess. -CWEOPATWA. Fow *looks away* the m-most pawt, too, they awe foowish that a-awe so. -Hew haiw, w-what c-cowouw? -MESSENGEW. Bwown, madam; a-and hew fowehead -A-As wow as she :3 wouwd wish it. -CWEOPATWA. Thewe's g-gowd x3 fow thee. -Thou must nyot take m-my fowmew shawpnyess iww. -I >_> wiww *notices bulge* empwoy thee b-back again; I *shuffles closer* find thee -Most fit ^.^ fow businyess. Go make *twerks* thee w-weady; -Ouw wettews *sighs* awe pwepaw'd. Exeunt MESSENGEW -CHAWMIAN. A pwopew man. -*shuffles closer* CWEOPATWA. Indeed, he is s-so. I wepent me much -That so I hawwied him. Why, methinks, by :33 him, -This cweatuwe's nyo such thing. -CHAWMIAN. *twerks* Nyothing, madam. -CWEOPATWA. The man hath seen some m-majesty, and shouwd knyow. -CHAWMIAN. Hath *pokes you* he s-seen m-majesty? Isis ewse defend, -And sewving you so wong! -C-CWEOPATWA. I have onye thing mowe to ask him *teleports behind you* yet, g-good Chawmian. -B-But '-'tis nyo *screams* mattew; thou shawt bwing h-him to me -Whewe *pokes you* I wiww wwite. A-Aww *cuddles you* may be weww enyough. -CHAWMIAN. *blushes* I wawwant *sighs* you, madam. *teleports behind you* Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_4 -SCENyE IV. -Athens. A-ANTONY'S h-house - -Entew ANTONY and O-OCTAVIA - -ANTONY. Nyay, *teleports behind you* nyay, Octavia, nyot onwy that- -That w-wewe excusabwe, that UwU and thousands m-mowe -Of sembwabwe impowt- but he hath wag'd -Nyew waws 'gainst Pompey; made his wiww, and wead *looks at you* it -To pubwic e-eaw; -Spoke *moans* scandy o-of me; when *sighs* pewfowce h-he couwd nyot -But UwU pay me tewms of h-honyouw, cowd and sickwy -*moans* He ^w^ vented *shuffles closer* them, m-most *twerks* nyawwow m-measuwe went me; -When the best hint w-was given him, he nyot t-took't, -Ow d-did it fwom his teeth. -OCTAVIA. xDD O my good wowd, -^w^ Bewieve nyot aww; ow if xDD you must bewieve, -*leans over* Stomach nyot aww. A mowe unhappy wady, -If this division *moans* chance, nye'ew stood >_< between, -Pwaying fow both pawts. ->w< The good *blushes* gods wiww mock me pwesentwy -When I shaww pway 'O, bwess my wowd and *looks away* husband!' -Undo that pwayew by cwying o-out as woud -'-'O, bwess my bwothew!' Husband w-win, win bwothew, -Pways, and destwoys the p-pwayew; :3 nyo mid-way -'Twixt these e-extwemes at aww. -ANTONY. G-Gentwe Octavia, -Wet y-youw best wove dwaw *sweats* to that point which seeks -Best to uWu pwesewve it. If I wose minye honyouw, -I wose mysewf; bettew I wewe n-nyot youws -*twerks* Than youws so b-bwanchwess. But, xDD as you wequested, -Youwsewf shaww go between's. The meantime, wady, -I'ww waise the pwepawation of a waw -Shaww stain youw x3 bwothew. Make youw soonyest haste; -So youw desiwes *sweats* awe youws. -OCTAVIA. Thanks t-to my wowd. -^-^ The *sighs* Jove of powew x3 make me, most weak, most weak, -Youw weconciwew! Waws 'twixt you twain >_> wouwd be -As if the w-wowwd shouwd cweave, and that swain men -*sweats* Shouwd sowdew *teleports behind you* up the wift. -ANTONY. When it appeaws to you *giggles shyly* whewe this begins, -Tuwn youw dispweasuwe that way, fow xDD ouw f-fauwts -Can nyevew *screams* be *leans over* so equaw that youw wove -C-Can *shuffles closer* equawwy move with them. Pwovide y-youw going; -C-Choose youw own company, and command what cost -Youw h-heawt has mind t-to. Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_5 -SCENyE >w< V. -Athens. ANTONY'S house - -Entew ENyOBAWBUS and EWOS, meeting - -ENyOBAWBUS. How n-nyow, f-fwiend Ewos! -*pokes you* EWOS. Thewe's stwange nyews come, siw. -ENyOBAWBUS. What, man? -E-EWOS. Caesaw *cries* and *looks at you* Wepidus h-have made w-waws upon Pompey. -ENyOBAWBUS. This is owd. What is the *notices bulge* success? -EWOS. Caesaw, having made use of *moans* him in the waws '-'gainst Pompey, -pwesentwy denyied him wivawity, wouwd nyot *sighs* wet him pawtake in the -gwowy of the a-action; and nyot westing hewe, accuses him of x3 wettews -he had fowmewwy OwO wwote to Pompey; upon his own appeaw, xDD seizes him. -*moans* So the poow thiwd is up, tiww death e-enwawge :3 his confinye. -ENyOBAWBUS. Then, wowwd, thou hast a-a paiw of chaps- nyo mowe; -*screams* And thwow *pokes you* between them aww the food thou *twerks* hast, -They'ww gwind *teleports behind you* the :33 onye *pokes you* the othew. W-Whewe's A-Antony? -EWOS. He's wawking in the gawden- thus, and x3 spuwns -The w-wush that *looks away* wies befowe him; cwies 'Foow *sweats* Wepidus!' -And t-thweats the thwoat UwU of that his officew -That muwd'wed Pompey. -ENyOBAWBUS. *teleports behind you* Ouw gweat nyavy's wigg'd. -*sighs* EWOS. Fow Itawy and *screams* Caesaw. OwO Mowe, :33 Domitius: -My w-wowd *sighs* desiwes you pwesentwy; my nyews -I might have towd heweaftew. -ENyOBAWBUS. >w< 'Twiww be ^-^ nyaught; -But wet >_< it be. Bwing me t-to Antony. -EWOS. *pokes you* Come, siw. Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_6 -OwO SCENyE V-VI. -Wome. CAESAW'S house - -Entew *looks at you* CAESAW, AGWIPPA, and MAECENyAS - -CAESAW. *teleports behind you* Contemnying Wome, he has donye aww this and mowe -In Awexandwia. Hewe's the mannyew of't: -I' th' mawket-pwace, on a twibunyaw siwvew'd, -*pokes you* Cweopatwa and himsewf in chaiws of gowd -W-Wewe *notices bulge* pubwicwy e-enthwon'd; at the ^.^ feet sat -:33 Caesawion, whom ;;w;; they caww my fathew's s-son, -And aww the unwawfuw i-issue that theiw wust -Since then hath made between t-them. Unto h-hew -H-He gave the stabwishment of Egypt; made hew -*screams* Of wowew Sywia, Cypwus, Wydia, -Absowute queen. -MAECENyAS. This in the pubwic eye? -CAESAW. I' th' common show-pwace, whewe *looks away* they exewcise. -His sons he thewe pwocwaim'd the kings of kings: -*pokes you* Gweat Media, Pawthia, and OwO Awmenyia, -He gave to A-Awexandew; to Ptowemy >w< he assign'd -Sywia, Ciwicia, *twerks* and Phoenyicia. She -In *hugs tightly* th' habiwiments of the goddess Isis -*giggles shyly* That day *leans over* appeaw'd; and o-oft befowe gave audience, -OwO As 'tis wepowted, s-so. ->_> MAECENyAS. Wet *pokes you* Wome be thus -Infowm'd. -AGWIPPA. Who, q-queasy with his i-insowence -Awweady, wiww theiw good *pokes you* thoughts caww fwom *pokes you* him. -CAESAW. The peopwe knyows it, and >w< have nyow weceiv'd -His a-accusations. -AGWIPPA. Who does UwU he *screams* accuse? -CAESAW. :3 Caesaw; and t-that, having in Siciwy -Sextus Pompeius spoiw'd, we had nyot wated him -H-His p-pawt o-o' th' iswe. Then does he say he went me -Some *teleports behind you* shipping, unwestow'd. *giggles shyly* Wastwy, he f-fwets -That W-Wepidus of the twiumviwate -Shouwd be depos'd; and, being, that we d-detain -Aww his *leans over* wevenyue. -AGWIPPA. Siw, this s-shouwd be answew'd. -CAESAW. >w< 'Tis donye awweady, and messengew *hugs tightly* gonye. -I have towd him Wepidus >_> was gwown too c-cwuew, -That *shuffles closer* he his high authowity >_> abus'd, -And did desewve his c-change. OwO Fow what I *blushes* have conquew'd -I gwant him pawt; but t-then, in his Awmenyia -*teleports behind you* And othew of *hugs tightly* his conquew'd kingdoms, -D-Demand the wike. -MAECENyAS. He'ww nyevew ;;w;; yiewd to that. -CAESAW. Nyow must nyot then be yiewded to in this. - -Entew O-OCTAVIA, >w< with hew twain - -OCTAVIA. Haiw, Caesaw, :3 and my *looks at you* wowd! h-haiw, most d-deaw Caesaw! -C-CAESAW. That *pokes you* evew I shouwd caww thee cast-away! -O-OCTAVIA. You h-have nyot caww'd me *pokes you* so, nyow have you cause. -CAESAW. xDD Why have you stow'n upon *hugs tightly* us thus? You come nyot -Wike Caesaw's sistew. The wife of Antony -Shouwd have an a-awmy fow an u-ushew, and -The nyeighs of howse to *blushes* teww *pokes you* of hew appwoach -Wong e-ewe she *hugs tightly* did appeaw. T-The twees by th' way -Shouwd h-have bownye men, and expectation *cuddles you* fainted, -Wonging >w< fow what it had nyot. Nyay, the dust -Shouwd have ascended ^.^ to the woof of heaven, -Wais'd by youw popuwous t-twoops. B-But you awe come -A mawket-maid to Wome, a-and have pwevented -The ostentation o-of o-ouw w-wove, w-which weft u-unshown -I-Is often weft unwov'd. We shouwd have m-met y-you -By sea and w-wand, suppwying *cuddles you* evewy stage -With an augmented gweeting. -OwO OCTAVIA. G-Good my wowd, -To c-come thus was I *screams* nyot c-constwain'd, but did it -O-On my f-fwee *looks at you* wiww. My wowd, Mawk :3 Antony, -Heawing that *moans* you pwepaw'd fow *shuffles closer* waw, acquainted -My gwieved eaw withaw; wheweon I begg'd -His pawdon f-fow w-wetuwn. -CAESAW. Which soon xDD he gwanted, -Being an uWu obstwuct 'tween h-his wust and him. -OCTAVIA. D-Do *looks away* nyot xDD say so, my w-wowd. -CAESAW. I have e-eyes upon him, -And his affaiws come to me on the wind. -Whewe i-is he *leans over* nyow? -OCTAVIA. My wowd, in ^w^ Athens. -CAESAW. Nyo, my most wwonged UwU sistew: Cweopatwa ->_< Hath nyodded him to hew. ;;w;; He hath g-given his *screams* empiwe -Up t-to a whowe, who nyow awe wevying -The *cuddles you* kings o-o' th' eawth fow waw. He hath assembwed -Bocchus, the king of uWu Wibya; Awchewaus -Of Cappadocia; Phiwadewphos, king -Of Paphwagonyia; t-the *giggles shyly* Thwacian king, Adawwas; -K-King Manchus of Awabia; King of P-Pont; -Hewod o-of Jewwy; Mithwidates, k-king -O-Of Comagenye; Powemon and Amyntas, -*hugs tightly* The kings o-of Mede and Wycaonyia, with -Mowe wawgew wist of sceptwes. -OCTAVIA. Ay me m-most >_> wwetched, -That h-have my *twerks* heawt *twerks* pawted betwixt two fwiends, -That does a-affwict each othew! -CAESAW. Wewcome hithew. -Youw UwU wettews OwO did *hugs tightly* withhowd >_> ouw b-bweaking *notices bulge* fowth, -Tiww we pewceiv'd *looks away* both uWu how you wewe wwong wed -And we in nyegwigent dangew. Cheew >_< youw heawt; -Be you nyot twoubwed with ^w^ the time, which uWu dwives -O'ew youw content t-these stwong nyecessities, -B-But wet detewmin'd things t-to d-destiny -*shuffles closer* Howd unbewaiw'd *hugs tightly* theiw way. Wewcome to *cuddles you* Wome; -*moans* Nyothing mowe deaw to me. You awe abus'd -uWu Beyond t-the mawk of thought, *looks away* and the high g-gods, -To do you justice, m-make t-theiw m-minyistews -Of us and those that *twerks* wove you. Best of *looks at you* comfowt, -And evew w-wewcome to us. -*sighs* AGWIPPA. Wewcome, wady. -MAECENyAS. Wewcome, deaw madam. -Each heawt in Wome does wove and pity you; -*looks away* Onwy th' aduwtewous Antony, most wawge -In his a-abominyations, t-tuwns y-you off, -And ^.^ gives :3 his potent wegiment to a-a t-twuww -*looks away* That nyoises it against us. -OCTAVIA. Is it so, siw? -C-CAESAW. *notices bulge* Most cewtain. Sistew, wewcome. Pway you -Be evew :3 knyown *looks away* to patience. UwU My deaw'st sistew! Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_7 -SCENyE VII. -A-ANTONY'S camp nyeaw Actium - -Entew CWEOPATWA and *twerks* ENyOBAWBUS - -*looks at you* CWEOPATWA. *moans* I w-wiww b-be even *blushes* with thee, doubt it nyot. -ENyOBAWBUS. But *pokes you* why, w-why, -CWEOPATWA. T-Thou hast fowspoke *blushes* my being in these waws, -And say'st it is nyot *screams* fit. -ENyOBAWBUS. x3 Weww, is i-it, is it? -CWEOPATWA. Is't n-nyot denyounc'd against us? >w< Why s-shouwd nyot we -Be *moans* thewe in *giggles shyly* pewson? -:3 ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside] Weww, I couwd wepwy: -UwU If we shouwd sewve with howse a-and mawes t-togethew -T-The howse wewe mewewy >w< wost; the mawes wouwd beaw -A-A sowdiew and his howse. -CWEOPATWA. What is't you say? -ENyOBAWBUS. Youw pwesence nyeeds *screams* must puzzwe Antony; -Take fwom his *twerks* heawt, take fwom his bwain, fwom's *leans over* time, -What shouwd n-nyot t-then be spaw'd. He *cries* is awweady -Twaduc'd fow wevity; *cuddles you* and *shuffles closer* 'tis said in W-Wome -That Photinyus an e-eunyuch and youw maids -Manyage this waw. -CWEOPATWA. Sink Wome, and theiw tongues wot -That speak *notices bulge* against us! A chawge w-we beaw i' t-th' waw, -And, as the pwesident of my kingdom, wiww -A-Appeaw t-thewe fow a man. Speak nyot against it; -I wiww nyot stay b-behind. - -Entew ANTONY and CANyIDIUS - -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyay, I have donye. -H-Hewe comes t-the Empewow. -ANTONY. Is it nyot stwange, Canyidius, -That fwom Tawentum and Bwundusium -He *sighs* couwd s-so quickwy c-cut the Ionyian s-sea, -And take in Towynye?- You have heawd on't, s-sweet? -CWEOPATWA. C-Cewewity is ^.^ nyevew m-mowe admiw'd -Than by the nyegwigent. -*cries* ANTONY. A good webuke, -Which might *teleports behind you* have w-weww becom'd *hugs tightly* the best of men -*shuffles closer* To t-taunt at swacknyess. Canyidius, *moans* we -Wiww fight with him *sweats* by sea. -*hugs tightly* CWEOPATWA. By sea! What ewse? -CANyIDIUS. Why *looks at you* wiww my wowd *sweats* do so? -ANTONY. Fow :3 that he dawes *teleports behind you* us to't. -ENyOBAWBUS. S-So hath my wowd daw'd h-him to singwe fight. -CANyIDIUS. Ay, and to wage this battwe at Phawsawia, -Whewe xDD Caesaw fought with Pompey. But these offews, -Which sewve nyot fow his vantage, he shakes off; -And so shouwd y-you. -ENyOBAWBUS. Youw ships a-awe nyot weww mann'd; -Youw mawinyews >_> awe muweteews, weapews, peopwe -Ingwoss'd by swift impwess. I-In Caesaw's fweet -Awe those that often h-have '-'gainst :3 Pompey *cuddles you* fought; -Theiw ships awe yawe; y-youws heavy. Nyo *pokes you* disgwace -S-Shaww faww *sighs* you fow wefusing *hugs tightly* him ^-^ at sea, -Being *looks away* pwepaw'd fow wand. -*twerks* ANTONY. By sea, by sea. -ENyOBAWBUS. M-Most wowthy siw, you thewein thwow uWu away -T-The a-absowute sowdiewship you have by wand; -Distwact youw awmy, which doth most c-consist -Of waw-mawk'd footmen; >_< weave unyexecuted -Youw own *blushes* wenyownyed knyowwedge; quite fowgo -The w-way ^-^ which pwomises assuwance; and -Give up youwsewf m-mewewy to chance *hugs tightly* and h-hazawd -*teleports behind you* Fwom fiwm secuwity. -ANTONY. I'ww fight at sea. -CWEOPATWA. I h-have sixty saiws, Caesaw *shuffles closer* nyonye bettew. ->_< ANTONY. Ouw ovewpwus of shipping wiww w-we buwn, -A-And, with the west fuww-mann'd, fwom th' head of Actium -B-Beat th' appwoaching Caesaw. But if we faiw, -We then can d-do't at wand. - ->w< Entew a MESSENGEW - -UwU Thy businyess? -M-MESSENGEW. The nyews is twue, my wowd: h-he is d-descwied; -Caesaw has taken Towynye. -ANTONY. OwO Can x3 he be thewe in pewson? *cuddles you* 'Tis impossibwe- -S-Stwange that ^.^ his powew shouwd be. Canyidius, -Ouw nyinyeteen uWu wegions thou shawt howd by wand, -And ouw twewve thousand howse. We'ww t-to ouw ship. -A-Away, m-my Thetis! - -Entew a SOWDIEW - -xDD How n-nyow, wowthy sowdiew? -SOWDIEW. O nyobwe Empewow, do n-nyot fight b-by sea; -Twust n-nyot to wotten pwanks. Do *teleports behind you* you misdoubt -This swowd and these my wounds? Wet t-th' ;;w;; Egyptians -And t-the Phoenyicians go OwO a-ducking; we -H-Have us'd to conquew standing on the eawth -And fighting foot to foot. -ANTONY. W-Weww, weww- away. -*giggles shyly* Exeunt ANTONY, CWEOPATWA, and E-ENyOBAWBUS -SOWDIEW. By H-Hewcuwes, I think I am i' th' >_> wight. -C-CANyIDIUS. *shuffles closer* Sowdiew, >_< thou awt; but his whowe *screams* action gwows -Nyot in the powew on't. So ouw xDD weadew's >_< wed, -And w-we awe women's men. -SOWDIEW. Y-You keep by wand -The wegions and the howse whowe, do you nyot? -CANyIDIUS. Mawcus Octavius, M-Mawcus Justeius, -Pubwicowa, and Caewius awe fow sea; -But we keep whowe by wand. This speed of Caesaw's -*hugs tightly* Cawwies *leans over* beyond >_> bewief. -SOWDIEW. :33 Whiwe he was *leans over* yet in Wome, -His *leans over* powew went out in uWu such distwactions as -Beguiw'd aww spies. -CANyIDIUS. Who's his wieutenyant, :3 heaw you? -SOWDIEW. They say onye Tauwus. -CANyIDIUS. Weww I knyow the man. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. The Empewow cawws Canyidius. -CANyIDIUS. W-With *twerks* nyews the time's with wabouw a-and thwoes fowth -Each minyute some. Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_8 -SCENyE VIII. -:3 A pwain nyeaw Actium - -Entew CAESAW, with his a-awmy, *leans over* mawching - -CAESAW. ;;w;; Tauwus! -TAUWUS. My w-wowd? -C-CAESAW. Stwike nyot by wand; keep whowe; p-pwovoke nyot battwe -Tiww we >w< have donye at *twerks* sea. ^-^ Do nyot exceed -The pwescwipt of this scwoww. *cries* Ouw fowtunye wies -Upon this ^w^ jump. Exeunt - -A-ACT_3|SC_9 -SCENyE IX. -Anyothew pawt of the pwain - -Entew ANTONY >_< and ENyOBAWBUS - -ANTONY. *shuffles closer* Set we *looks away* ouw squadwons on yon *sighs* side o-o' th' hiww, -In eye of Caesaw's battwe; fwom w-which p-pwace -W-We may the n-nyumbew of the ;;w;; ships behowd, -And so x3 pwoceed accowdingwy. *giggles shyly* Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_10 -*teleports behind you* SCENyE X. -Anyothew pawt of the pwain - -CANyIDIUS mawcheth w-with x3 his w-wand awmy onye way -ovew the stage, and TAUWUS, the *sighs* Wieutenyant *shuffles closer* of -CAESAW, t-the o-othew way. Aftew theiw going in is h-heawd -the nyoise of a sea-fight - -Awawum. E-Entew ENyOBAWBUS - -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyaught, nyaught, a-aww nyaught! I can behowd nyo wongew. -:33 Th' Antonyiad, the Egyptian admiwaw, -With *notices bulge* aww theiw sixty, fwy *giggles shyly* and tuwn the wuddew. -To see't m-minye eyes awe bwasted. - -Entew SCAWUS - -SCAWUS. Gods a-and goddesses, -Aww the whowe synyod of them! -ENyOBAWBUS. What's thy p-passion? -SCAWUS. *teleports behind you* The gweatew cantwe of the wowwd is wost -With vewy ignyowance; we have kiss'd away -Kingdoms and pwovinces. -ENyOBAWBUS. How appeaws the fight? -SCAWUS. On x3 ouw side wike the token'd pestiwence, -*cries* Whewe death ^.^ is suwe. Yon wibaudwed *pokes you* nyag of Egypt- -Whom wepwosy o-o'ewtake!- i' th' midst o' t-th' *cuddles you* fight, -When vantage wike a-a paiw of twins a-appeaw'd, -uWu Both as the same, ow wathew ouws the ewdew- -The bweese upon hew, OwO wike a-a c-cow *sighs* in Junye- -Hoists saiws and fwies. -ENyOBAWBUS. That *notices bulge* I b-behewd; -*sighs* Minye eyes did sicken at the sight and couwd nyot -Enduwe a f-fuwthew view. -SCAWUS. She once being w-woof'd, -The nyobwe wuin of hew magic, Antony, -Cwaps on his sea-wing, a-and, wike a doting :3 mawwawd, -;;w;; Weaving :3 the fight in height, fwies aftew hew. -I n-nyevew saw an action of such *twerks* shame; -E-Expewience, >w< manhood, h-honyouw, nye'ew *blushes* befowe -Did *sweats* viowate so itsewf. -ENyOBAWBUS. *screams* Awack, awack! - -E-Entew CANyIDIUS - -CANyIDIUS. Ouw fowtunye on the s-sea is o-out of b-bweath, -And sinks m-most wamentabwy. Had ouw *looks at you* genyewaw -Been w-what he knyew himsewf, it had g-gonye weww. -O, he has given *looks away* exampwe fow o-ouw fwight -Most gwosswy *cries* by h-his own! -ENyOBAWBUS. Ay, awe you theweabouts? -W-Why then, good *pokes you* nyight indeed. -CANyIDIUS. Towawd Pewoponnyesus awe they fwed. -SCAWUS. 'Tis easy to't; and t-thewe I-I wiww attend -What f-fuwthew comes. -*notices bulge* CANyIDIUS. To Caesaw w-wiww I-I wendew -My *looks away* wegions and my howse; six kings awweady -Show ^-^ me the w-way o-of yiewding. -ENyOBAWBUS. I-I'ww >_> yet fowwow -The wounded chance of A-Antony, though m-my weason -Sits in the wind against me. Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_11 -SCENyE XI. -Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew ANTONY W-With attendants - -ANTONY. *moans* Hawk! the wand bids me twead nyo mowe upon't; -It is asham'd to beaw me. ^.^ Fwiends, come hithew. -:33 I am *shuffles closer* so wated in t-the wowwd that I-I -*pokes you* Have wost my way fow *shuffles closer* evew. I-I UwU have a ship -W-Waden with gowd; xDD take that; divide ^w^ it. Fwy, -And make youw peace w-with Caesaw. -AWW. Fwy? Nyot we! -ANTONY. I have fwed mysewf, and have instwucted cowawds -:3 To wun and show theiw shouwdews. Fwiends, b-be gonye; -I have mysewf wesowv'd upon *moans* a couwse -W-Which has nyo *pokes you* nyeed of you; be gonye. -My tweasuwe's in the hawbouw, take it. O, -I >w< fowwow'd that I bwush to wook upon. -My vewy haiws do mutiny; fow the >_> white -Wepwove the b-bwown fow washnyess, and they *cries* them -Fow feaw and d-doting. Fwiends, be gonye; you shaww -Have wettews fwom me to some fwiends *sweats* that wiww -Sweep youw way fow y-you. Pway you wook nyot >_< sad, -Nyow make w-wepwies of ^-^ woathnyess; take the hint -Which m-my despaiw pwocwaims. Wet t-that be weft -*notices bulge* Which weaves i-itsewf. T-To the *cries* sea-side stwaight w-way. -I wiww possess you *notices bulge* of that ship and tweasuwe. -^w^ Weave me, I p-pway, a wittwe; pway xDD you nyow; -Nyay, ^w^ do so, fow *leans over* indeed I have w-wost command; -Thewefowe I pway you. I'ww see you by *teleports behind you* and by. [Sits down] - -Entew CWEOPATWA, wed by CHAWMIAN and ^w^ IWAS, -*leans over* EWOS fowwowing - -EWOS. *giggles shyly* Nyay, gentwe madam, to him! Comfowt h-him. -IWAS. Do, most d-deaw ^-^ Queen. -CHAWMIAN. Do? Why, what ewse? -CWEOPATWA. Wet me sit down. O-O J-Junyo! -ANTONY. ^.^ Nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo. -EWOS. *screams* See you hewe, siw? -ANTONY. O, fie, f-fie, fie! -CHAWMIAN. Madam! -IWAS. Madam, O good Empwess! -EWOS. S-Siw, siw! -ANTONY. Y-Yes, my ^w^ wowd, yes. He at Phiwippi kept -His swowd UwU e'en wike a dancew, whiwe *giggles shyly* I stwuck -The wean and wwinkwed Cassius; and 'twas I -That the mad Bwutus ended; h-he *hugs tightly* awonye -Deawt on wieutenyantwy, :3 and nyo pwactice had -In the bwave UwU squawes of :3 waw. Yet n-nyow- nyo mattew. -CWEOPATWA. Ah, stand by! -EWOS. The Queen, my >_< wowd, the *blushes* Queen! -I-IWAS. Go to him, *teleports behind you* madam, speak xDD to him. -He is u-unquawitied with vewy shame. -CWEOPATWA. Weww then, sustain me. O! -EWOS. Most nyobwe *blushes* siw, awise; the Queen appwoaches. -Hew ^w^ head's d-decwin'd, and death *notices bulge* wiww seize hew b-but -Youw comfowt makes the wescue. -ANTONY. xDD I have offended weputation- -A most unnyobwe *leans over* swewving. -EWOS. *cuddles you* Siw, the Queen. -A-ANTONY. O-O, whithew hast thou wed me, Egypt? See -How I convey my shame out of thinye eyes -By wooking b-back w-what I have weft behind -UwU 'Stwoy'd in dishonyouw. -CWEOPATWA. O UwU my wowd, m-my wowd, -*screams* Fowgive my feawfuw *leans over* saiws! I wittwe thought -You wouwd OwO have fowwowed. -ANTONY. Egypt, thou knyew'st t-too weww -My heawt was to >w< thy :3 wuddew tied OwO by th' stwings, -And thou shouwdst tow me aftew. O-O'ew my spiwit -*sighs* Thy fuww supwemacy *looks at you* thou k-knyew'st, a-and ^.^ that -Thy beck m-might fwom the bidding of the gods -*giggles shyly* Command m-me. -CWEOPATWA. O, my p-pawdon! -ANTONY. Nyow I must -To the young *notices bulge* man send humbwe tweaties, dodge -^.^ And pawtew ;;w;; in the shifts of wownyess, who -*sweats* With hawf t-the buwk o' th' *looks away* wowwd pway'd as I pweas'd, -Making and mawwing fowtunyes. You did knyow -How much you w-wewe my conquewow, and that -M-My swowd, *leans over* made weak by m-my affection, wouwd -O-Obey it on aww cause. -CWEOPATWA. Pawdon, pawdon! -ANTONY. Faww nyot a teaw, I say; onye o-of them wates -Aww that is won and wost. *shuffles closer* Give ^.^ me a kiss; -Even this wepays me. ->w< We sent *looks away* ouw s-schoowmastew; is 'a *looks at you* come back? -Wove, I am fuww of *looks away* wead. Some winye, -Within thewe, and ouw viands! Fowtunye *pokes you* knyows -We scown hew >_> most *screams* when m-most she offews bwows. Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_12 -*sweats* SCENyE X-XII. -CAESAW'S *giggles shyly* camp in Egypt - -Entew CAESAW, *pokes you* AGWIPPA, DOWABEWWA, THYWEUS, with o-othews - -CAESAW. *notices bulge* Wet him appeaw that's c-come fwom :3 Antony. -Knyow y-you him? -DOWABEWWA. C-Caesaw, 'tis h-his *moans* schoowmastew: -An awgument that he is pwuck'd, when hithew ->_< He sends so poow a pinyion of his wing, -Which had supewfwuous kings fow messengews -N-Nyot many moons >_> gonye by. - -Entew *moans* EUPHWONyIUS, Ambassadow fwom ANTONY - -CAESAW. Appwoach, and speak. -EUPHWONyIUS. Such as I am, I come fwom Antony. -I was of wate a-as petty to *sighs* his ends -As is t-the mown-dew on the mywtwe weaf -To his gwand s-sea. -CAESAW. Be't so. Decwawe t-thinye o-office. -E-EUPHWONyIUS. Wowd of his xDD fowtunyes he sawutes thee, and -Wequiwes *sighs* to *cuddles you* wive in Egypt; which nyot gwanted, -*cuddles you* He wessens his wequests and to thee sues -To wet him bweathe between the h-heavens and ^w^ eawth, -xDD A pwivate *teleports behind you* man in A-Athens. This f-fow him. -N-Nyext, Cweopatwa does confess thy gweatnyess, -Submits hew to thy might, and of thee c-cwaves -The ciwcwe of the Ptowemies fow hew heiws, -Nyow hazawded to thy gwace. -CAESAW. Fow Antony, -I xDD have nyo eaws t-to his wequest. The Queen -O-Of audience *blushes* nyow d-desiwe *hugs tightly* shaww f-faiw, so s-she -Fwom Egypt dwive h-hew ;;w;; aww-disgwaced fwiend, -Ow take *moans* his wife thewe. This if she pewfowm, -She shaww nyot sue unheawd. So t-to them both. -*hugs tightly* EUPHWONyIUS. Fowtunye puwsue thee! -*twerks* CAESAW. Bwing *notices bulge* him thwough the bands. Exit EUPHWONyIUS -[To THYWEUS] To t-twy thy >_> ewoquence, nyow 'tis time. Dispatch; -Fwom Antony win Cweopatwa. Pwomise, -And in ouw nyame, *blushes* what she wequiwes; add mowe, -Fwom thinye invention, offews. Women xDD awe nyot -In theiw best fowtunyes stwong; b-but want wiww pewjuwe -The n-nye'ew-touch'd vestaw. >_< Twy thy cunnying, Thyweus; -Make thinye own edict fow thy pains, which we -Wiww answew as a-a waw. -THYWEUS. Caesaw, I go. -C-CAESAW. Obsewve how Antony becomes his fwaw, -A-And what t-thou think'st h-his v-vewy action speaks -In evewy powew that moves. -*blushes* THYWEUS. Caesaw, I shaww. E-Exeunt - -ACT_3|SC_13 -SCENyE XIII. -Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew CWEOPATWA, ENyOBAWBUS, CHAWMIAN, and IWAS - -CWEOPATWA. :33 What shaww we do, Enyobawbus? -ENyOBAWBUS. Think, and die. -CWEOPATWA. Is Antony ow we in f-fauwt fow this? -ENyOBAWBUS. Antony onwy, that *leans over* wouwd m-make his wiww -Wowd *looks at you* of his weason. W-What t-though y-you f-fwed -Fwom *cuddles you* that gweat face of waw, whose sevewaw wanges -Fwighted each othew? Why shouwd he fowwow? -The itch of his affection shouwd nyot then -Have n-nyick'd his captainship, at such a point, -When hawf to *looks at you* hawf uWu the w-wowwd o-oppos'd, h-he being -The mewed question. '-'Twas a shame nyo wess -Than was his woss, to c-couwse youw f-fwying fwags ->_< And weave his n-nyavy gazing. -CWEOPATWA. Pwithee, peace. - -Entew EUPHWONyIUS, t-the Ambassadow; w-with ANTONY - -ANTONY. OwO Is that his *hugs tightly* answew? -*sweats* EUPHWONyIUS. Ay, my w-wowd. -ANTONY. The Queen shaww t-then h-have couwtesy, :33 so she -*blushes* Wiww yiewd us up. -EUPHWONyIUS. He says so. -ANTONY. Wet hew knyow't. -To the boy Caesaw send *moans* this g-gwizzwed head, -A-And *blushes* he wiww fiww thy wishes to the bwim -With pwincipawities. -CWEOPATWA. That head, my wowd? -A-ANTONY. To him again. Teww him he weaws the wose -Of y-youth ^-^ upon him; f-fwom which the wowwd shouwd *cries* nyote -S-Something pawticuwaw. His coin, ships, wegions, -:33 May UwU be a cowawd's whose minyistews wouwd pwevaiw -Undew the sewvice of a chiwd as soon -As i' th' command of Caesaw. I dawe him thewefowe -To way his g-gay compawisons a-apawt, -And ^.^ answew me decwin'd, s-swowd *notices bulge* against swowd, -Ouwsewves a-awonye. I'ww wwite >w< it. Fowwow me. -Exeunt A-ANTONY and *twerks* EUPHWONyIUS -EUPHWONyIUS. [Aside] Yes, wike enyough high-battwed C-Caesaw wiww -Unstate his happinyess, and be stag'd *cuddles you* to th' *leans over* show -*screams* Against a swowdew! I see men's judgments awe -A-A pawcew of theiw fowtunyes, *leans over* and x3 things outwawd -Do x3 dwaw the inwawd quawity aftew *sweats* them, -To suffew aww a-awike. That he s-shouwd dweam, -K-Knyowing a-aww measuwes, the fuww Caesaw wiww -Answew his emptinyess! C-Caesaw, thou *looks away* hast subdu'd -His judgment too. - -E-Entew a SEWVANT - -OwO SEWVANT. *leans over* A messengew fwom Caesaw. -CWEOPATWA. What, nyo *hugs tightly* mowe cewemony? See, my w-women! -*pokes you* Against *pokes you* the bwown w-wose may they stop theiw nyose -That knyeew'd unto the buds. Admit him, *cuddles you* siw. Exit SEWVANT -*pokes you* ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside] Minye honyesty and I begin to squawe. -T-The *notices bulge* woyawty weww hewd to f-foows d-does make -Ouw faith mewe fowwy. *giggles shyly* Yet *leans over* he t-that can enduwe -To fowwow with awwegiance a faww'n wowd -Does conquew him that did h-his mastew xDD conquew, -*pokes you* And ^.^ eawns a-a pwace i' th' stowy. - -Entew THYWEUS - -CWEOPATWA. Caesaw's wiww? -THYWEUS. Heaw i-it apawt. -CWEOPATWA. Nyonye but f-fwiends: s-say ;;w;; bowdwy. -THYWEUS. So, hapwy, awe they fwiends to Antony. -ENyOBAWBUS. He n-nyeeds a-as many, siw, as *giggles shyly* Caesaw >_> has, -Ow nyeeds nyot u-us. I-If Caesaw pwease, *looks at you* ouw mastew -W-Wiww weap t-to be his fwiend. F-Fow us, y-you knyow -Whose he is we a-awe, >_< and *blushes* that is Caesaw's. -THYWEUS. So. -*cuddles you* Thus t-then, t-thou most wenyown'd: Caesaw *giggles shyly* entweats -Nyot to c-considew *leans over* in what case t-thou *giggles shyly* stand'st -Fuwthew than he is C-Caesaw. -CWEOPATWA. x3 Go on. Wight woyaw! -THYWEUS. H-He knyows t-that you embwace nyot Antony -As you did w-wove, but as you feaw'd him. -CWEOPATWA. O! -THYWEUS. The s-scaws upon youw honyouw, thewefowe, he -D-Does pity, a-as constwainyed bwemishes, -Nyot as desewv'd. -CWEOPATWA. He i-is a god, and knyows -What *sweats* is most wight. Minye honyouw was nyot *moans* yiewded, -But conquew'd m-mewewy. -E-ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside] *giggles shyly* To be suwe of that, -I wiww ask Antony. Siw, siw, thou *sighs* awt so w-weaky -That we must weave thee *hugs tightly* to thy sinking, *teleports behind you* fow -T-Thy deawest quit *moans* thee. Exit -THYWEUS. Shaww I-I say t-to C-Caesaw -*sighs* What you w-wequiwe of him? Fow *teleports behind you* he x3 pawtwy begs -To be desiw'd *cuddles you* to *looks away* give. It much wouwd pwease h-him -That *leans over* of h-his :3 fowtunyes you shouwd make *twerks* a staff -*pokes you* To wean upon. But it *sweats* wouwd wawm his spiwits -*teleports behind you* To heaw fwom *hugs tightly* me x3 you had weft A-Antony, -And put youwsewf undew *cries* his shwoud, -The unyivewsaw wandwowd. -C-CWEOPATWA. *twerks* What's youw nyame? -THYWEUS. My nyame is T-Thyweus. -CWEOPATWA. Most kind messengew, -Say to gweat Caesaw t-this: in deputation -I kiss his conquwing hand. ^w^ Teww him I am pwompt -To way my cwown a-at 's :33 feet, and *sighs* thewe t-to knyeew. -Teww him fwom his aww-obeying bweath I heaw -*blushes* The doom of Egypt. -THYWEUS. 'Tis youw nyobwest couwse. -W-Wisdom and fowtunye combating togethew, -I-If t-that the fowmew dawe ^.^ but :33 what it can, -N-Nyo chance may shake it. Give me gwace t-to way -My duty on youw hand. -CWEOPATWA. Y-Youw Caesaw's fathew oft, -When ^-^ he hath mus'd o-of taking kingdoms i-in, -B-Bestow'd his wips on *teleports behind you* that unwowthy pwace, -As it wain'd >_> kisses. - -*blushes* We-entew ANTONY and *leans over* ENyOBAWBUS - -xDD ANTONY. OwO Favouws, by Jove that t-thundews! -What awt thou, fewwow? -THYWEUS. Onye that x3 but p-pewfowms -T-The b-bidding of :33 the ;;w;; fuwwest man, a-and wowthiest -To have command obey'd. -ENyOBAWBUS. [-[Aside] You w-wiww b-be whipt. -ANTONY. Appwoach thewe.- A-Ah, you kite!- Nyow, gods and deviws! -Authowity mewts fwom me. Of wate, when I cwied 'Ho!' -Wike boys u-unto a-a muss, *pokes you* kings w-wouwd xDD stawt fowth -And cwy 'Youw wiww?' Have you nyo eaws? I am -Antony yet. - -Entew *looks at you* sewvants - -Take hence *twerks* this Jack and *sighs* whip him. -ENyOBAWBUS. xDD 'Tis bettew pwaying with *notices bulge* a wion's whewp -Than with an owd onye dying. -ANTONY. Moon and *sighs* staws! -Whip h-him. Wewe't t-twenty of the g-gweatest twibutawies -That do acknyowwedge Caesaw, s-shouwd I *cuddles you* find them -So saucy with *shuffles closer* the hand of she hewe- what's hew n-nyame ->_< Since she was C-Cweopatwa? Whip him, fewwows, -Tiww wike a boy you see him cwinge *hugs tightly* his face, -And whinye awoud fow mewcy. Take h-him hence. -THYMUS. M-Mawk Antony- -*giggles shyly* ANTONY. Tug h-him away. Being whipt, -Bwing him again: the Jack of Caesaw's shaww -Beaw *leans over* us an ewwand t-to him. Exeunt sewvants with THYWEUS -You wewe hawf bwasted ewe I knyew you. Ha! -*cuddles you* Have I my piwwow w-weft unpwess'd in Wome, -*cries* Fowbownye the getting of a-a wawfuw wace, -And *pokes you* by >_> a g-gem of women, to be abus'd -By onye *looks at you* that wooks on feedews? -OwO CWEOPATWA. Good my wowd- -ANTONY. You have been a boggwew evew. -But when we in ouw viciousnyess gwow hawd- -O *twerks* misewy on't!- the w-wise gods seew ouw eyes, -I-In ouw own fiwth dwop ouw *sighs* cweaw judgments, *looks at you* make us -Adowe ouw *moans* ewwows, waugh at's whiwe we stwut -To ouw c-confusion. -CWEOPATWA. O, is't come to this? -ANTONY. *looks away* I found you *screams* as a m-mowsew cowd upon -D-Dead Caesaw's twenchew. Nyay, you wewe a *cuddles you* fwagment -*shuffles closer* Of Cnyeius Pompey's, b-besides w-what hottew h-houws, -Unwegist'wed in vuwgaw fame, ;;w;; you have -Wuxuwiouswy pick'd out; fow I am suwe, -Though you c-can g-guess what tempewance shouwd be, -You k-knyow n-nyot w-what it is. -CWEOPATWA. Whewefowe i-is this? -*teleports behind you* ANTONY. *sighs* To wet a fewwow that wiww take w-wewawds, -A-And say 'God quit you!' be famiwiaw with -My pwayfewwow, youw hand, this kingwy seaw -And pwightew of high h-heawts! O that I-I wewe -Upon the hiww *pokes you* of *screams* Basan to ^w^ outwoaw -The hownyed hewd! Fow I have *twerks* savage cause, -And to p-pwocwaim it c-civiwwy wewe wike -A hawtew'd nyeck *hugs tightly* which does the hangman thank -^w^ Fow being yawe about him. - -We-entew a SEWVANT with T-THYWEUS - -*notices bulge* Is he w-whipt? -SEWVANT. Soundwy, my wowd. -ANTONY. *notices bulge* Cwied he? and uWu begg'd 'a pawdon? -SEWVANT. He d-did ask favouw. -ANTONY. If that thy *blushes* fathew wive, wet him wepent -Thou *hugs tightly* wast nyot made his d-daughtew; a-and >_> be t-thou x3 sowwy -To fowwow Caesaw i-in *giggles shyly* his twiumph, since -Thou >w< hast been whipt fow fowwowing him. Hencefowth -T-The white h-hand of a wady fevew thee! -*blushes* Shake thou t-to wook on't. Get thee ^-^ back to Caesaw; -:33 Teww him thy entewtainment; wook thou say -He m-makes me >_< angwy with h-him; fow he seems -Pwoud a-and disdainfuw, hawping *notices bulge* on what I am, -Nyot what he knyew I was. He makes me a-angwy; -*moans* And at this time most e-easy 'tis to do't, -When my g-good staws, that wewe my fowmew *notices bulge* guides, -Have >_< empty weft theiw owbs OwO and shot theiw f-fiwes -Into *looks away* th' abysm of heww. If he miswike -My speech and OwO what is >w< donye, :33 teww him he has -Hippawchus, my enfwanched bondman, whom -^-^ He may at pweasuwe whip ow hang ow towtuwe, -*looks away* As he *screams* shaww wike, to *looks at you* quit m-me. Uwge ^.^ it *hugs tightly* thou. -Hence with thy stwipes, be gonye. Exit THYWEUS -CWEOPATWA. Have you donye yet? -ANTONY. Awack, ouw tewwenye x3 moon -Is ^.^ nyow ecwips'd, and it powtends awonye -The faww of A-Antony. -*hugs tightly* CWEOPATWA. *hugs tightly* I must *notices bulge* stay his time. -*notices bulge* ANTONY. To fwattew Caesaw, w-wouwd uWu you mingwe eyes -With onye that ties his *moans* points? -CWEOPATWA. Nyot knyow me yet? -ANTONY. Cowd-heawted towawd me? -CWEOPATWA. *hugs tightly* Ah, *screams* deaw, if I be so, -Fwom my cowd heawt *sighs* wet heaven engendew *giggles shyly* haiw, -And poison it in x3 the s-souwce, and the fiwst stonye -Dwop i-in m-my *hugs tightly* nyeck; x3 as it detewminyes, so -Dissowve my wife! The nyext Caesawion smite! -Tiww by degwees the memowy of ;;w;; my *pokes you* womb, -T-Togethew with m-my bwave Egyptians aww, -By the discandying ^-^ of this *notices bulge* pewweted stowm, -*notices bulge* Wie gwavewess, tiww the fwies *screams* and gnyats of Nyiwe -Have *cries* buwied them fow *cuddles you* pwey. -ANTONY. I am s-satisfied. -Caesaw s-sits down in Awexandwia, *blushes* whewe -I wiww oppose his fate. Ouw fowce *moans* by wand -Hath x3 nyobwy hewd; ouw sevew'd nyavy to -Have knyit again, and fweet, thweat'nying most sea-wike. -Whewe hast thou been, my h-heawt? Dost *notices bulge* thou heaw, wady? -If fwom the fiewd I shaww *sweats* wetuwn once m-mowe -To k-kiss these wips, I wiww appeaw in bwood. -I and my swowd wiww eawn ouw chwonyicwe. -Thewe's hope in't yet. -CWEOPATWA. That's m-my b-bwave wowd! -ANTONY. I-I wiww b-be t-twebwe-sinyew'd, heawted, bweath'd, -And *teleports behind you* fight mawiciouswy. Fow when minye houws -W-Wewe n-nyice and wucky, men did wansom wives -Of me fow ^.^ jests; but nyow I'ww set my teeth, -And send to dawknyess aww :33 that stop me. Come, -Wet's *looks away* have onye othew gaudy nyight. Caww to m-me -Aww x3 my sad captains; fiww ouw bowws once mowe; -Wet's *giggles shyly* mock *cuddles you* the midnyight *looks at you* beww. -CWEOPATWA. It is my biwthday. -I had thought t'have hewd it UwU poow; but since m-my w-wowd -Is A-Antony again, I wiww be Cweopatwa. -ANTONY. We wiww yet do weww. -CWEOPATWA. C-Caww aww his nyobwe captains to my wowd. -ANTONY. Do so, we'ww speak to t-them; :33 and to-nyight I'ww f-fowce -The winye peep thwough theiw scaws. Come on, my queen, -*sweats* Thewe's sap in't yet. T-The >_> nyext time x3 I do fight -I'ww make death ;;w;; wove me; fow I wiww c-contend -:3 Even with h-his pestiwent scythe. Exeunt aww but E-ENyOBAWBUS -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyow he'ww outstawe the wightnying. To be fuwious -Is to be fwighted out of feaw, a-and in that mood -The *giggles shyly* dove wiww peck the estwidge; and *notices bulge* I see stiww -A *giggles shyly* diminyution in ouw captain's bwain -Westowes his h-heawt. When vawouw pweys o-on weason, -It ^-^ eats the swowd it fights with. I wiww s-seek -Some way to weave him. Exit - -ACT_4|SC_1 -ACT ^.^ IV. SCENyE I. -CAESAW'S c-camp befowe Awexandwia - -Entew CAESAW, AGWIPPA, and MAECENyAS, *hugs tightly* with his awmy; -CAESAW weading a w-wettew - -*blushes* CAESAW. He cawws me boy, *looks at you* and chides as he >_< had *screams* powew -T-To beat me out o-of Egypt. My messengew -He h-hath whipt with wods; dawes *looks at you* me to pewsonyaw combat, -Caesaw to Antony. Wet t-the o-owd wuffian knyow -I have many othew ways *shuffles closer* to die, meantime -Waugh a-at h-his chawwenge. -MAECENyAS. C-Caesaw must think -When onye so gweat begins *twerks* to wage, >w< he's hunted -Even to fawwing. Give him nyo bweath, b-but *notices bulge* nyow -Make boot of his distwaction. Nyevew angew -*moans* Made good guawd fow itsewf. -CAESAW. W-Wet ouw best *twerks* heads -Knyow that t-to-mowwow the wast of *giggles shyly* many battwes -W-We mean t-to fight. Within ouw fiwes thewe a-awe -Of those that sewv'd Mawk A-Antony but wate -Enyough to fetch *hugs tightly* him i-in. See it *pokes you* donye; -And feast the awmy; we have stowe to do't, -And they >w< have *notices bulge* eawn'd the waste. Poow Antony! Exeunt - -xDD ACT_4|SC_2 -SCENyE II. -A-Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA's pawace - -Entew ANTONY, *notices bulge* CWEOPATWA, ENyOBAWBUS, CHAWMIAN, I-IWAS, -AWEXAS, with *screams* othews - -ANTONY. He wiww nyot fight with me, Domitius? -ENyOBAWBUS. Nyo. -A-ANTONY. Why shouwd he *shuffles closer* nyot? -ENyOBAWBUS. He thinks, being twenty times of ^-^ bettew *teleports behind you* fowtunye, -H-He *looks away* is twenty men to >w< onye. -ANTONY. To-mowwow, sowdiew, -By sea and w-wand I'ww f-fight. Ow I w-wiww wive, -Ow *sweats* bathe my dying honyouw in the bwood -Shaww >_< make it wive again. W-Woo't thou fight weww? -ENyOBAWBUS. I'ww stwike, and c-cwy '-'Take aww.' -ANTONY. Weww said; come on. -Caww uWu fowth my househowd sewvants; w-wet's to-nyight -Be b-bounteous at ouw meaw. - -Entew ^-^ thwee ow fouw sewvitows - -Give me thy hand, -Thou has b-been x3 wightwy honyest. So hast thou; -^.^ Thou, and thou, and thou. You have sewv'd m-me weww, -And uWu kings h-have been youw fewwows. -CWEOPATWA. [Aside :33 to ENyOBAWBUS] W-What means this? -E-ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside to CWEOPATWA] 'Tis onye of t-those o-odd *giggles shyly* twicks which -sowwow shoots -Out of the mind. -ANTONY. A-And t-thou awt honyest too. -I wish I couwd be m-made so many men, -*cuddles you* And aww of you cwapp'd up *sweats* togethew in -An A-Antony, that I might do you sewvice -*moans* So good as OwO you have d-donye. -S-SEWVANT. *pokes you* The gods f-fowbid! -ANTONY. Weww, m-my good fewwows, w-wait on me >_< to-nyight. -*pokes you* Scant *blushes* nyot my cups, and make as much of me -As when minye empiwe w-was youw fewwow t-too, -UwU And suffew'd my c-command. -CWEOPATWA. [Aside t-to ENyOBAWBUS] What d-does he mean? -ENyOBAWBUS. [Aside to CWEOPATWA] To make h-his fowwowews w-weep. -ANTONY. T-Tend me to-nyight; -May be it is the pewiod of youw duty. -Hapwy y-you shaww nyot see me mowe; *notices bulge* ow if, -uWu A mangwed shadow. >w< Pewchance to-mowwow -*notices bulge* You'ww sewve ;;w;; anyothew mastew. I-I wook on you -As o-onye t-that takes his weave. Minye *sighs* honyest *screams* fwiends, -I tuwn you nyot away; but, wike a-a mastew -Mawwied to youw good sewvice, stay tiww death. -Tend *screams* me to-nyight two houws, I ask *sweats* nyo mowe, -And the gods *cries* yiewd you fow't! -ENyOBAWBUS. What mean you, siw, -To give them this discomfowt? Wook, they weep; -*notices bulge* And I-I, a-an ass, am onyion-ey'd. Fow >_> shame! -Twansfowm us nyot to women. -ANTONY. *teleports behind you* Ho, ho, ho! -Nyow t-the witch take me :33 if I meant it thus! -Gwace gwow whewe those dwops faww! uWu My heawty fwiends, -uWu You t-take me in too dowowous a sense; -Fow I spake *sighs* to you fow youw comfowt, d-did desiwe you -To buwn this nyight with towches. Knyow, my heawts, -I hope weww of to-mowwow, and wiww wead *screams* you -W-Whewe wathew *twerks* I'ww expect victowious wife -Than death *moans* and honyouw. Wet's to suppew, come, -And d-dwown considewation. ;;w;; Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_3 -SCENyE III. -Awexandwia. Befowe *sighs* CWEOPATWA's pawace - -*notices bulge* Entew a c-company *sweats* of sowdiews - -FIWST SOWDIEW. Bwothew, good n-nyight. *moans* To-mowwow is the ^.^ day. -SECOND SOWDIEW. *screams* It uWu wiww detewminye onye way. Fawe you weww. -Heawd you of nyothing stwange about the stweets? -FIWST SOWDIEW. >_> Nyothing. *teleports behind you* What n-nyews? -SECOND SOWDIEW. Bewike 'tis but a wumouw. Good nyight to *twerks* you. -FIWST SOWDIEW. W-Weww, siw, good nyight. -[They ;;w;; meet othew sowdiews] -SECOND SOWDIEW. Sowdiews, have cawefuw watch. -F-FIWST SOWDIEW. And >_< you. Good n-nyight, good nyight. -[The *notices bulge* two companyies sepawate a-and pwace themsewves -in evewy cownyew of UwU the stage] -S-SECOND SOWDIEW. *leans over* Hewe we. OwO And if t-to-mowwow -Ouw nyavy thwive, ^.^ I have an *sweats* absowute hope -Ouw wandmen w-wiww stand up. -THIWD SOWDIEW. 'Tis a bwave awmy, ->_< And f-fuww of p-puwpose. -[Music of the hautboys is undew >_< the *teleports behind you* stage] -SECOND SOWDIEW. Peace, what nyoise? -THIWD SOWDIEW. Wist, w-wist! -SECOND SOWDIEW. Hawk! -THIWD SOWDIEW. M-Music i' th' aiw. -FOUWTH SOWDIEW. Undew *screams* the e-eawth. -THIWD SOWDIEW. It signs w-weww, does it nyot? -*moans* FOUWTH SOWDIEW. >_> Nyo. -T-THIWD SOWDIEW. Peace, I say! -What *twerks* shouwd this mean? -SECOND SOWDIEW. 'Tis the god Hewcuwes, whom Antony wov'd, -Nyow weaves him. -THIWD SOWDIEW. Wawk; wet's *blushes* see if othew watchmen -Do heaw what ;;w;; we do. -S-SECOND SOWDIEW. How nyow, mastews! -SOWDIEWS. [Speaking togethew] How nyow! -How nyow! Do you heaw this? -*leans over* FIWST >_< SOWDIEW. UwU Ay; is't nyot stwange? -x3 THIWD SOWDIEW. Do you heaw, mastews? D-Do you ^-^ heaw? -FIWST SOWDIEW. >_< Fowwow the nyoise so f-faw as *sighs* we ^-^ have quawtew; -Wet's see how it wiww *cuddles you* give off. -SOWDIEWS. Content. 'Tis stwange. Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_4 -SCENyE IV. -Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA's *blushes* pawace - -Entew ANTONY and CWEOPATWA, *pokes you* CHAWMIAN, IWAS, -with othews - -ANTONY. Ewos! minye *sighs* awmouw, Ewos! -CWEOPATWA. Sweep a wittwe. -ANTONY. Nyo, UwU my chuck. Ewos! Come, minye awmouw, Ewos! - -Entew EWOS with a-awmouw - -^-^ Come, good *giggles shyly* fewwow, *twerks* put minye iwon on. -If fowtunye be nyot ouws to-day, it is -Because >w< we bwave hew. Come. -OwO CWEOPATWA. Nyay, *cries* I'ww hewp too. -What's this fow? -ANTONY. A-Ah, wet be, w-wet be! *pokes you* Thou awt -The awmouwew of my heawt. Fawse, fawse; this, UwU this. -CWEOPATWA. Sooth, w-wa, I-I'ww :33 hewp. *pokes you* Thus it m-must *cuddles you* be. -ANTONY. Weww, weww; -We shaww *hugs tightly* thwive nyow. Seest thou, *hugs tightly* my good fewwow? -Go put on t-thy defences. -E-EWOS. Bwiefwy, s-siw. -CWEOPATWA. I-Is OwO nyot this buckwed weww? -ANTONY. Wawewy, wawewy! -He that unbuckwes this, t-tiww we *pokes you* do pwease -T-To d-daff't fow ouw wepose, shaww heaw a stowm. -Thou f-fumbwest, Ewos, and my queen's *blushes* a s-squiwe -Mowe tight at this than thou. D-Dispatch. O x3 wove, -That t-thou couwdst see my waws to-day, a-and knyew'st -The ^-^ woyaw occupation! Thou shouwdst see -A wowkman in't. - -*blushes* Entew an awmed SOWDIEW - -Good-mowwow t-to *cries* thee. Wewcome. -Thou wook'st wike *screams* him *cuddles you* that knyows a wawwike *giggles shyly* chawge. -To businyess that we wove we wise *teleports behind you* betime, -And go to't with dewight. -SOWDIEW. A thousand, s-siw, -Eawwy though't b-be, have uWu on theiw wiveted twim, -And at ^-^ the powt expect you. -[Shout. Fwouwish of twumpets within] - -Entew CAPTAINS and sowdiews - -CAPTAIN. The mown is faiw. Good mowwow, Genyewaw. -AWW. G-Good mowwow, Genyewaw. -ANTONY. 'Tis weww b-bwown, wads. -This mownying, wike the spiwit of a youth -That means to b-be of nyote, begins betimes. -So, *leans over* so. Come, *shuffles closer* give me t-that. This w-way. *looks away* Weww said. -Fawe t-thee weww, dame, w-whate'ew becomes of me. -This is a sowdiew's kiss. Webukeabwe, -And *twerks* wowthy shamefuw check *screams* it wewe, to stand -On mowe mechanyic compwiment; I'ww weave thee -Nyow wike a man of steew. You that wiww fight, -Fowwow me cwose; I'ww bwing you to't. Adieu. -Exeunt ANTONY, EWOS, CAPTAINS :33 and >_> sowdiews -CHAWMIAN. Pwease you wetiwe to youw chambew? -C-CWEOPATWA. W-Wead me. -*shuffles closer* He goes fowth gawwantwy. T-That he a-and Caesaw might -Detewminye *cries* this gweat waw i-in singwe fight! -T-Then, Antony- but nyow. Weww, on. Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_5 -SCENyE V. -:3 Awexandwia. ANTONY'S camp - -Twumpets sound. Entew ANTONY *hugs tightly* and EWOS, a SOWDIEW -meeting them - -*cries* SOWDIEW. *giggles shyly* The gods make this a h-happy day t-to Antony! -ANTONY. W-Wouwd ^w^ thou and t-those thy scaws ^-^ had once pwevaiw'd -T-To make me uWu fight *blushes* at wand! -SOWDIEW. Hadst thou donye so, -T-The kings that have w-wevowted, and the *cuddles you* sowdiew -That has this mownying weft thee, wouwd have stiww -F-Fowwowed thy heews. -ANTONY. Who's gonye >_< this mownying? -SOWDIEW. Who? -Onye evew nyeaw thee. Caww fow Enyobawbus, -He shaww nyot heaw t-thee; ow fwom Caesaw's camp -Say 'I a-am nyonye of thinye.' -ANTONY. *hugs tightly* What say'st t-thou? -S-SOWDIEW. Siw, -He *leans over* is with C-Caesaw. -EWOS. Siw, his *moans* chests >_> and tweasuwe -He has nyot with him. -ANTONY. *blushes* Is he gonye? -SOWDIEW. Most cewtain. -*teleports behind you* ANTONY. Go, Ewos, *looks away* send his ^-^ tweasuwe aftew; *sweats* do it; -Detain nyo jot, I chawge thee. Wwite to *teleports behind you* him- -I wiww *giggles shyly* subscwibe- *cuddles you* gentwe adieus and g-gweetings; -*looks at you* Say that I wish he nyevew f-find mowe cause -To change a mastew. O, my fowtunyes h-have -Cowwupted honyest men! Dispatch. Enyobawbus! Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_6 -SCENyE VI. -Awexandwia. CAESAW'S camp - -Fwouwish. Entew AGWIPPA, CAESAW, With DOWABEWWA -a-and *leans over* ENyOBAWBUS - -C-CAESAW. Go fowth, Agwippa, and b-begin the fight. -Ouw wiww *leans over* is A-Antony be took awive; -M-Make :3 it so knyown. -AGWIPPA. Caesaw, I shaww. Exit -CAESAW. The t-time of *pokes you* unyivewsaw peace is nyeaw. -Pwove this a-a pwosp'wous xDD day, ^.^ the t-thwee-nyook'd wowwd -Shaww beaw the owive fweewy. - -Entew A MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Antony -Is >w< come into the fiewd. -CAESAW. Go chawge Agwippa -P-Pwant those that *leans over* have wevowted :3 in the vant, -That Antony may seem to spend his fuwy -Upon himsewf. *sighs* Exeunt aww but ;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS -E-ENyOBAWBUS. Awexas did wevowt and went to Jewwy *cries* on -A-Affaiws of Antony; thewe ^-^ did dissuade -Gweat Hewod to incwinye himsewf to Caesaw -A-And weave h-his mastew Antony. Fow this *looks away* pains -Casaew hath hang'd him. Canyidius and t-the west -That feww away UwU have entewtainment, but -N-Nyo honyouwabwe t-twust. I have >_> donye iww, -Of *blushes* which I do accuse *blushes* mysewf so sowewy -That I wiww joy nyo >_< mowe. - -Entew a-a SOWDIEW of C-CAESAW'S - -SOWDIEW. Enyobawbus, Antony -Hath aftew thee sent aww thy tweasuwe, with -His bounty ovewpwus. The messengew -Came o-on my guawd, and a-at thy tent i-is nyow -Unwoading o-of his m-muwes. -*cries* ENyOBAWBUS. *pokes you* I give it you. -SOWDIEW. *cries* Mock nyot, Enyobawbus. -I t-teww *cuddles you* you twue. Best *moans* you saf'd the b-bwingew -Out of the host. I must a-attend minye office, -Ow wouwd have donye't mysewf. Youw empewow -Continyues stiww a Jove. ^-^ Exit -ENyOBAWBUS. I am a-awonye the viwwain of the eawth, -And *shuffles closer* feew I am so most. O A-Antony, -*moans* Thou minye of bounty, how *cuddles you* wouwdst thou have paid -My bettew sewvice, when my tuwpitude -Thou dost *hugs tightly* so cwown with g-gowd! This bwows my heawt. -^-^ If swift t-thought bweak it nyot, a-a *shuffles closer* swiftew mean -:3 Shaww outstwike thought; b-but thought wiww do't, I f-feew. -I-I fight against *pokes you* thee? N-Nyo! I wiww go seek -Some ditch whewein *screams* to d-die; t-the fouw'st best fits -My >w< wattew pawt of wife. Exit - -ACT_4|SC_7 -SCENyE VII. -x3 Fiewd of battwe *notices bulge* between the camps - -Awawum. Dwums *cuddles you* and twumpets. E-Entew AGWIPPA -and othews - -AGWIPPA. Wetiwe. ^-^ We h-have engag'd ouwsewves too faw. -*blushes* Caesaw himsewf has wowk, >w< and ouw oppwession -Exceeds what we expected. Exeunt - -*looks away* Awawums. Entew ANTONY, and SCAWUS w-wounded - -SCAWUS. O my bwave Empewow, this is *hugs tightly* fought i-indeed! -Had we donye so at fiwst, we h-had dwoven *looks away* them home -W-With >_> cwouts about theiw heads. -A-ANTONY. *twerks* Thou bweed'st apace. -S-SCAWUS. I had a-a wound hewe t-that was wike a T, -But nyow '-'tis made an H. -ANTONY. ;;w;; They do wetiwe. -SCAWUS. ^-^ We'ww beat'em into *leans over* bench-howes. I h-have yet -W-Woom fow six s-scotches mowe. - -Entew :3 EWOS - -EWOS. They awe beaten, siw, and ouw advantage uWu sewves -F-Fow a faiw victowy. -SCAWUS. Wet *cuddles you* us scowe theiw backs -A-And snyatch 'em up, as we take hawes, behind. -'Tis spowt to mauw a-a wunnyew. -ANTONY. I wiww wewawd thee -Once fow thy spwightwy comfowt, *shuffles closer* and tenfowd -Fow thy g-good vawouw. Come thee on. -^-^ SCAWUS. I'ww hawt *leans over* aftew. Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_8 -S-SCENyE VIII. -Undew the wawws o-of Awexandwia - -Awawum. Entew A-ANTONY, again in a mawch; SCAWUS -with othews - -A-ANTONY. We have beat him to h-his camp. Wun onye befowe -And :3 wet *sighs* the Queen k-knyow of ouw *giggles shyly* gests. To-mowwow, -Befowe the sun shaww *cuddles you* see's, we'ww s-spiww the *sweats* bwood -That has t-to-day escap'd. I thank you aww; -Fow doughty-handed awe you, and have *teleports behind you* fought -*leans over* Nyot as you s-sewv'd the cause, b-but as't had been -*pokes you* Each man's *screams* wike minye; you have shown aww Hectows. -Entew OwO the city, cwip ;;w;; youw wives, youw fwiends, -Teww *twerks* them *sighs* youw feats; whiwst they with j-joyfuw teaws -Wash >_< the congeawment fwom youw wounds a-and kiss -T-The honyouw'd gashes whowe. - -Entew CWEOPATWA, attended - -[To SCAWUS] >_> Give me thy hand- -To >_< this gweat f-faiwy I'ww commend thy acts, -Make hew thanks bwess thee. O thou day o-o' th' w-wowwd, -Chain minye awm'd nyeck. *cuddles you* Weap thou, attiwe and aww, -Thwough pwoof o-of hawnyess to my heawt, and *sweats* thewe -Wide on the *looks away* pants t-twiumphing. -CWEOPATWA. Wowd of wowds! -O infinyite viwtue, *looks at you* com'st thou smiwing fwom -The wowwd's gweat *teleports behind you* snyawe uncaught? -ANTONY. Minye nyightingawe, -We have beat them to theiw beds. What, giww! though gwey -Do something mingwe with ouw youngew bwown, y-yet ha' we -A ^w^ bwain t-that nyouwishes ouw n-nyewves, and can -Get goaw fow goaw of *teleports behind you* youth. *leans over* Behowd this man; -Commend unto his wips thy :3 favouwing x3 hand- -K-Kiss *giggles shyly* it, my wawwiow- he hath *sweats* fought to-day -A-As if a god in *looks at you* hate o-of mankind had -Destwoyed in such *pokes you* a shape. -CWEOPATWA. *notices bulge* I'ww g-give thee, fwiend, -An a-awmouw *shuffles closer* aww of gowd; it was a king's. -ANTONY. He has desewv'd it, wewe it cawbuncwed -Wike howy P-Phoebus' caw. Give *twerks* me thy hand. -Thwough Awexandwia make a jowwy mawch; -Beaw o-ouw hack'd :33 tawgets *teleports behind you* wike the UwU men that owe them. -Had ouw gweat *moans* pawace the capacity -To *twerks* camp this host, *shuffles closer* we *looks at you* aww wouwd *sighs* sup t-togethew, -A-And d-dwink cawouses to OwO the nyext *cuddles you* day's fate, -Which *shuffles closer* pwomises *shuffles closer* woyaw p-pewiw. Twumpetews, -With bwazen din *cuddles you* bwast you *pokes you* the city's eaw; -Make mingwe with ouw wattwing tabouwinyes, -That heaven and eawth may stwike theiw sounds *shuffles closer* togethew -Appwauding ouw appwoach. Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_9 -SCENyE IX. -CAESAW'S camp - -Entew a CENTUWION and his :33 company; ENyOBAWBUS fowwows - -CENTUWION. *pokes you* If w-we be nyot wewiev'd w-within this h-houw, -We must wetuwn to th' couwt *notices bulge* of guawd. The nyight -Is shiny, and they say we shaww embattwe -xDD By th' second houw OwO i' th' mown. -FIWST WATCH. This w-wast day was -A-A s-shwewd onye to's. -ENyOBAWBUS. *cries* O, >w< beaw me witnyess, uWu nyight- -SECOND WATCH. What man *leans over* is t-this? -UwU FIWST WATCH. Stand cwose and OwO wist him. -ENyOBAWBUS. Be witnyess to m-me, xDD O thou bwessed moon, -When >_< men wevowted shaww upon w-wecowd -Beaw hatefuw memowy, poow Enyobawbus *looks away* did -Befowe t-thy face wepent! -CENTUWION. Enyobawbus? -*twerks* SECOND WATCH. Peace! -Hawk *cuddles you* fuwthew. -ENyOBAWBUS. >_> O soveweign m-mistwess of twue mewanchowy, -T-The poisonyous d-damp o-of n-nyight disponge upon me, -That wife, a vewy webew to my wiww, -May *moans* hang n-nyo wongew on me. Thwow my heawt -*cries* Against the fwint ^-^ and hawdnyess of *leans over* my fauwt, -Which, being dwied with gwief, wiww bweak t-to p-powdew, -;;w;; And finyish aww fouw thoughts. O Antony, -Nyobwew than my wevowt is :33 infamous, -Fowgive me in thinye own pawticuwaw, -But w-wet the *notices bulge* wowwd *screams* wank me *blushes* in wegistew -A m-mastew-weavew and *screams* a fugitive! -O Antony! O Antony! [Dies] -FIWST WATCH. Wet's speak to him. -CENTUWION. Wet's heaw him, fow the things he speaks -May concewn Caesaw. -SECOND W-WATCH. Wet's do so. But UwU he sweeps. -CENTUWION. Swoons wathew; fow so bad *screams* a pwayew as his -Was nyevew y-yet fow sweep. -^-^ FIWST WATCH. Go we to *sweats* him. -SECOND WATCH. Awake, siw, awake; speak to us. -FIWST ^-^ WATCH. Heaw you, siw? -C-CENTUWION. T-The uWu hand o-of death hath waught him. -[Dwums afaw off ] Hawk! the d-dwums -Demuwewy *notices bulge* wake the s-sweepews. Wet us b-beaw him -To th' couwt of guawd; he is of nyote. Ouw houw -Is fuwwy out. -SECOND WATCH. Come on, then; -He >w< may wecovew yet. Exeunt with the b-body - -ACT_4|SC_10 -SCENyE X-X. -Between the two camps - -*moans* Entew A-ANTONY and *teleports behind you* SCAWUS, with theiw awmy - -^w^ ANTONY. Theiw ;;w;; pwepawation is to-day by sea; -We pwease t-them nyot by wand. -SCAWUS. Fow both, my wowd. -A-ANTONY. I wouwd they'd fight i' th' UwU fiwe *sweats* ow i-i' th' aiw; -We'd fight thewe too. But this it is, ouw ^w^ foot -Upon *blushes* the hiwws adjoinying *blushes* to the city -Shaww stay with u-us- Owdew fow sea is given; -They have put fowth the haven- -W-Whewe theiw appointment *sweats* we may best discovew -And ^-^ wook on theiw endeavouw. Exeunt - -A-ACT_4|SC_11 -SCENyE XI. -B-Between the camps - -Entew *blushes* CAESAW *sighs* and his *cuddles you* awmy - -CAESAW. But being chawg'd, we wiww OwO be stiww by wand, -Which, as I take't, we shaww; f-fow his *blushes* best fowce -I-Is fowth t-to man h-his gawweys. To the v-vawes, -A-And howd ouw best advantage. Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_12 -SCENyE XII. -A hiww nyeaw Awexandwia - -Entew ANTONY a-and SCAWUS - -ANTONY. Yet they awe nyot join'd. *looks at you* Whewe yond pinye OwO does s-stand -I shaww discovew aww. I'ww bwing thee w-wowd -S-Stwaight how 'tis w-wike to go. Exit -S-SCAWUS. >_> Swawwows have buiwt -In Cweopatwa's saiws theiw nyests. ^.^ The auguwews -S-Say *moans* they knyow nyot, they c-cannyot teww; wook x3 gwimwy, -And dawe nyot speak theiw knyowwedge. Antony -Is vawiant a-and *sweats* dejected; and by stawts ->_> His fwetted fowtunyes give him hope and feaw -Of what he has and has nyot. -[Awawum a-afaw off, as at OwO a sea-fight] - -We-entew ANTONY - -ANTONY. A-Aww is wost! -T-This fouw Egyptian hath betwayed >w< me. -M-My fweet hath yiewded to the foe, and yondew -They ;;w;; cast *sighs* theiw caps up >_> and cawouse togethew -Wike fwiends w-wong wost. Twipwe-tuwn'd *leans over* whowe! 'tis thou -Hast sowd m-me to this n-nyovice; and my heawt -^w^ Makes onwy waws on thee. Bid t-them a-aww fwy; -Fow *looks away* when I am weveng'd upon my chawm, -I have donye *sweats* aww. Bid them aww fwy; begonye. Exit SCAWUS -O sun, thy ^w^ upwise shaww :33 I s-see nyo mowe! -F-Fowtunye and Antony pawt *looks away* hewe; *moans* even hewe -D-Do we *looks at you* shake hands. Aww come to this? The heawts -That spanyiew'd me at heews, to w-whom I gave -Theiw wishes, *leans over* do discandy, *looks away* mewt theiw sweets -O-On bwossoming Caesaw; and ^w^ this pinye is bawk'd -That ovewtopp'd them aww. B-Betway'd I-I am. -O this fawse souw of Egypt! this gwave chawm- -W-Whose xDD eye beck'd fowth my waws and caww'd them *sighs* home, -Whose bosom was m-my cwownyet, *blushes* my chief end- -Wike a wight *leans over* gypsy h-hath at fast and woose -*sighs* Beguiw'd me t-to the vewy ^-^ heawt of woss. -*leans over* What, Ewos, Ewos! - -Entew CWEOPATWA - -A-Ah, thou speww! Avaunt! -CWEOPATWA. *looks away* Why is my wowd enwag'd against his w-wove? -ANTONY. Vanyish, ;;w;; ow I ^-^ shaww give thee thy *shuffles closer* desewving -A-And bwemish uWu Caesaw's x3 twiumph. Wet him take thee -And hoist thee up to the shouting pwebeians; -Fowwow *cuddles you* his *twerks* chawiot, wike the gweatest spot -Of aww thy *shuffles closer* sex; most monstew-wike, be shown -Fow poow'st *pokes you* diminyutives, fow doits, a-and wet -P-Patient O-Octavia pwough thy visage u-up -W-With hew pwepawed nyaiws. >w< Exit CWEOPATWA -'Tis weww th'awt gonye, -If it be weww to wive; but bettew 'twewe -T-Thou feww'st into m-my fuwy, fow *blushes* onye death -Might have p-pwevented many. Ewos, ho! -T-The s-shiwt *twerks* of Nyessus i-is upon uWu me; teach me, -*twerks* Awcides, thou minye ancestow, thy wage; -Wet me wodge W-Wichas on the *hugs tightly* howns o' th' m-moon, -And w-with those hands *pokes you* that gwasp'd the ^-^ heaviest cwub -S-Subdue my wowthiest sewf. The witch s-shaww die. -*leans over* To the young x3 Woman boy she hath sowd me, ^-^ and ;;w;; I faww -Undew this pwot. She dies fow't. E-Ewos, *twerks* ho! Exit - -ACT_4|SC_13 -x3 SCENyE XIII. -A-Awexandwia. >_< CWEOPATWA's pawace - -Entew ;;w;; CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, IWAS, *blushes* and MAWDIAN - -CWEOPATWA. Hewp m-me, my women. O, *notices bulge* he is *shuffles closer* mowe mad -Than Tewamon *looks away* fow his shiewd; the boaw o-of Thessawy -Was nyevew so emboss'd. -C-CHAWMIAN. To th'monyument! -Thewe wock youwsewf, *sighs* and send him wowd you awe dead. -The souw and body wive nyot mowe in pawting -Than gweatnyess *notices bulge* going off. -CWEOPATWA. To th' monyument! -Mawdian, go t-teww him I have swain mysewf; -Say that the OwO wast I *pokes you* spoke was :33 'Antony' -And wowd it, pwithee, p-piteouswy. Hence, Mawdian, -And bwing me how he t-takes my death. *twerks* To ^.^ th' monyument! -Exeunt - -ACT_4|SC_14 -*screams* SCENyE XIV. -CWEOPATWA'S pawace - -Entew ANTONY and ^w^ EWOS - -ANTONY. Ewos, thou y-yet behowd'st me? -E-EWOS. A-Ay, nyobwe wowd. -ANTONY. *giggles shyly* Sometime we see a cwoud that's d-dwagonyish; -A vapouw sometime wike a beaw ow wion, -A towew'd c-citadew, a pendent wock, -*giggles shyly* A fowked :3 mountain, *leans over* ow bwue pwomontowy -With twees upon't that nyod unto *moans* the w-wowwd -A-And mock :33 ouw eyes with aiw. Thou *sighs* hast OwO seen these signs; -T-They *looks at you* awe b-bwack vespew's pageants. -EWOS. Ay, m-my wowd. -ANTONY. That which is nyow a h-howse, OwO even *teleports behind you* with a thought -The wack diswimns, and makes it indistinct, -As watew is in watew. -EWOS. It does, m-my wowd. -ANTONY. My good knyave Ewos, nyow thy *sighs* captain is -Even such a body. Hewe I am A-Antony; -Yet cannyot howd :3 this visibwe shape, uWu my knyave. -I made *shuffles closer* these waws f-fow Egypt; and the Queen- -W-Whose >w< heawt I thought I had, fow she had *twerks* minye, -^-^ Which, whiwst xDD it *sighs* was minye, had annyex'd unto't -A miwwion ^.^ moe, nyow wost- she, Ewos, has -Pack'd cawds with Caesaw, *moans* and f-fawse-pway'd my gwowy -Unto an enyemy's twiumph. -Nyay, weep nyot, gentwe Ewos; thewe is weft us -Ouwsewves to end o-ouwsewves. - -E-Entew MAWDIAN - -O, thy viwe w-wady! -She has wobb'd *sighs* me of my swowd. -MAWDIAN. Nyo, Antony; -My *notices bulge* mistwess wov'd thee, and hew fowtunyes m-mingwed -With thinye e-entiwewy. -ANTONY. Hence, saucy *hugs tightly* eunyuch; peace! -She hath betway'd *shuffles closer* me, and shaww die the death. -MAWDIAN. Death o-of ^-^ onye p-pewson can be paid b-but once, -And that *blushes* she has dischawg'd. What t-thou wouwdst do -Is donye u-unto thy hand. The wast she spake -Was *notices bulge* 'Antony! xDD most nyobwe Antony!' -Then in t-the m-midst a :3 teawing *cries* gwoan *cuddles you* did bweak -The nyame of Antony; it was divided -Between hew heawt *looks at you* and *twerks* wips. She wend'wed wife, -Thy nyame *sighs* so buwied in hew. -ANTONY. Dead then? -MAWDIAN. Dead. -A-ANTONY. Unyawm, Ewos; t-the wong day's task i-is donye, -And w-we must sweep. That t-thou depawt'st hence safe -Does *looks at you* pay thy wabouw wichwy. Go. E-Exit MAWDIAN -Off, pwuck off! -T-The sevenfowd shiewd of Ajax c-cannyot k-keep -The battewy fwom m-my heawt. O, *blushes* cweave, my sides! -Heawt, once *looks away* be stwongew than thy continyent, -C-Cwack thy fwaiw c-case. uWu Apace, Ewos, *looks at you* apace.- -N-Nyo mowe a sowdiew. *giggles shyly* Bwuised :33 pieces, UwU go; -Y-You *blushes* have been nyobwy bownye.- Fwom ^-^ me awhiwe. E-Exit EWOS -I wiww o'ewtake thee, Cweopatwa, *looks away* and -Weep fow my pawdon. So i-it m-must be, fow nyow -Aww wength *moans* is :33 towtuwe. Since t-the towch *cuddles you* is *twerks* out, -W-Wie down, and stway nyo fawthew. Nyow a-aww wabouw -Maws what it does; >_< yea, vewy fowce entangwes -*giggles shyly* Itsewf w-with UwU stwength. Seaw ^-^ then, and aww is donye. -Ewos!- I *blushes* come, *pokes you* my queen.- Ewos!- S-Stay fow me; -Whewe souws do *shuffles closer* couch on fwowews, we'ww hand in hand, -A-And with ouw spwightwy powt make the ghosts gaze. -D-Dido a-and hew A-Aenyeas shaww want twoops, -And aww the haunt be ouws.- Come, >_< Ewos, E-Ewos! - -We-entew EWOS - -*sweats* EWOS. What wouwd my w-wowd? -ANTONY. Since C-Cweopatwa d-died, -I h-have w-wiv'd in such dishonyouw that the gods -Detest my basenyess. I, that with my swowd -Quawtew'd the ^.^ wowwd, and o'ew gween Nyeptunye's back -With ships made cities, condemn mysewf to wack ->_< The couwage *looks away* of a woman; UwU wess nyobwe m-mind -x3 Than she which by hew death ouw Caesaw tewws -'I am conquewow o-of mysewf.' Thou awt swown, Ewos, -T-That, when the exigent shouwd come- which nyow -Is come xDD indeed- when I shouwd see behind me -Th' inyevitabwe pwosecution of -Disgwace and howwow, that, on my command, -Thou >_< then *looks away* wouwdst kiww :3 me. Do't; the time is come. -Thou stwik'st nyot me; 'tis *sweats* Caesaw thou *screams* defeat'st. -Put cowouw in thy cheek. -EWOS. T-The gods withhowd me! -Shaww I do t-that w-which aww *cries* the Pawthian dawts, -Though enyemy, w-wost aim *cuddles you* and couwd nyot? -ANTONY. Ewos, -Wouwdst thou be window'd in gweat Wome *screams* and see -Thy mastew thus with pweach'd awms, *moans* bending down -H-His cowwigibwe nyeck, his face subdu'd -To penyetwative s-shame, whiwst the w-wheew'd seat -O-Of *screams* fowtunyate Caesaw, *hugs tightly* dwawn *hugs tightly* befowe him, ^-^ bwanded -His b-basenyess that ensued? -EWOS. I wouwd nyot see't. -xDD ANTONY. C-Come, then; *moans* fow with *looks at you* a w-wound I must be cuw'd. -Dwaw that thy honyest swowd, which thou h-hast wown -*twerks* Most u-usefuw fow t-thy countwy. -EWOS. x3 O, siw, pawdon >_< me! -ANTONY. When I did make thee f-fwee, swow'st thou nyot *notices bulge* then -To do ^-^ this when I bade t-thee? Do it at o-once, -*looks at you* Ow :33 thy pwecedent sewvices awe aww -But a-accidents unpuwpos'd. Dwaw, and come. -EWOS. Tuwn fwom me then that nyobwe countenyance, -Whewein t-the wowship o-of the whowe *looks at you* wowwd wies. -ANTONY. Wo thee! [-[Tuwnying fwom OwO him] -EWOS. My swowd >_< is dwawn. -ANTONY. T-Then wet it do at once -The thing why thou hast dwawn i-it. -EWOS. My d-deaw mastew, -x3 My ^.^ captain ;;w;; and my empewow, wet me say, -*screams* Befowe I-I stwike this bwoody stwoke, faweweww. -ANTONY. 'Tis said, man; and faweweww. -EWOS. *cries* Faweweww, gweat chief. Shaww *cuddles you* I stwike nyow? -ANTONY. N-Nyow, Ewos. -E-EWOS. Why, thewe *leans over* then! Thus do I-I e-escape the sowwow -Of Antony's death. [Kiwws himsewf -ANTONY. Thwice nyobwew than m-mysewf! -Thou teachest me, O vawiant Ewos, what -I shouwd, and t-thou *sighs* couwdst nyot. M-My q-queen and Ewos -H-Have, by *pokes you* theiw bwave instwuction, got u-upon me -A nyobwenyess *blushes* in >_> wecowd. But I *teleports behind you* wiww be -A bwidegwoom in m-my death, *looks away* and w-wun into't -OwO As *cuddles you* to a *sighs* wovew's bed. Come, then; and, Ewos, -Thy mastew dies t-thy *notices bulge* schowaw. To d-do thus -[-[Fawwing on his ;;w;; swowd] -I weawn'd of thee. How? nyot dead? nyot dead?- -The guawd, ho! O, dispatch >_< me! - -Entew DEWCETAS and a guawd - -FIWST GUAWD. What's the nyoise? -UwU ANTONY. I have donye my wowk *leans over* iww, fwiends. O, make an end -Of what I *twerks* have begun. -SECOND GUAWD. The staw is faww'n. -FIWST GUAWD. And t-time is at h-his p-pewiod. -^.^ AWW. Awas, and *leans over* woe! -*blushes* ANTONY. *hugs tightly* Wet *leans over* him that woves me, stwike >_> me dead. -F-FIWST G-GUAWD. Nyot I. -SECOND GUAWD. Nyow I. -THIWD GUAWD. Nyow any onye. Exeunt guawd -DEWCETAS. Thy death and fowtunyes *cuddles you* bid >w< thy *pokes you* fowwowews fwy. -This swowd *hugs tightly* but s-shown to Caesaw, with this tidings, -uWu Shaww entew me with him. - -Entew DIOMEDES - -DIOMEDES. Whewe's Antony? -DEWCETAS. Thewe, D-Diomed, t-thewe. -D-DIOMEDES. Wives x3 he? -Wiwt thou nyot answew, *twerks* man? :33 Exit *screams* DEWCETAS -ANTONY. uWu Awt *sighs* thou thewe, Diomed? Dwaw thy swowd and g-give m-me -S-Sufficing stwokes fow death. -DIOMEDES. Most absowute wowd, -My mistwess Cweopatwa sent m-me to thee. -ANTONY. When did she send thee? -D-DIOMEDES. Nyow, my wowd. -*sighs* ANTONY. Whewe OwO is she? -DIOMEDES. Wock'd in hew uWu monyument. S-She had a pwophesying feaw -^.^ Of what hath *sighs* come to pass; fow when s-she saw- -Which nyevew shaww be found- you did suspect -She had dispos'd *cuddles you* with Caesaw, and that youw wage -Wouwd nyot be puwg'd, she sent you wowd she was dead; -But feawing s-since how it ^-^ might wowk, hath s-sent -Me UwU to pwocwaim the twuth; and I-I am come, -I dwead, too w-wate. -*sighs* ANTONY. Too wate, good *looks at you* Diomed. Caww *twerks* my ^w^ guawd, I pwithee. -DIOMEDES. What, ho! the E-Empewow's guawd! T-The guawd, what ho! -Come, youw *cuddles you* wowd cawws! - -:3 Entew fouw ow five *looks away* of the guawd of ANTONY - -ANTONY. Beaw m-me, good fwiends, whewe Cweopatwa bides; -:3 'Tis the wast sewvice that I-I *notices bulge* shaww command you. -FIWST G-GUAWD. Woe, woe awe we, s-siw, you m-may nyot w-wive to weaw -Aww youw twue f-fowwowews out. -AWW. Most heavy day! -ANTONY. UwU Nyay, good my fewwows, do nyot *cuddles you* pwease shawp fate -:3 To gwace it with youw sowwows. Bid that wewcome -Which comes to punyish us, and we punyish it, -Seeming to beaw it wightwy. Take me up. -*cuddles you* I have wed you oft; c-cawwy me nyow, good fwiends, -And have *looks at you* my thanks *cuddles you* fow aww. *pokes you* Exeunt, heawing A-ANTONY -ACT_4|SC_15 -SCENyE *cuddles you* XV. -Awexandwia. A monyument - -Entew CWEOPATWA and hew maids awoft, with CHAWMIAN -and IWAS - -CWEOPATWA. O-O Chawmian, I wiww nyevew go fwom hence! -CHAWMIAN. B-Be comfowted, deaw madam. -C-CWEOPATWA. N-Nyo, I wiww nyot. -^.^ Aww stwange and tewwibwe events awe wewcome, -But comfowts we despise; *cries* ouw size of sowwow, -*giggles shyly* Pwopowtion'd to ouw *notices bulge* cause, must be ^-^ as gweat -As that which makes i-it. - -Entew DIOMEDES, bewow - -H-How nyow! Is he d-dead? -*notices bulge* DIOMEDES. His death's u-upon him, uWu but nyot dead. -Wook out o' th' othew side youw monyument; -His guawd have bwought him thithew. - -E-Entew, bewow, *shuffles closer* ANTONY, bownye by the guawd - -CWEOPATWA. O sun, -Buwn the gweat sphewe thou mov'st in! Dawkwing stand -The v-vawying showe o' t-th' wowwd. O-O Antony, -Antony, Antony! Hewp, Chawmian; *sighs* hewp, Iwas, x3 hewp; -Hewp, fwiends bewow! Wet's dwaw him hithew. -ANTONY. Peace! -*leans over* Nyot Caesaw's vawouw hath o'ewthwown Antony, -But Antony's hath twiumph'd on itsewf. -CWEOPATWA. So it shouwd be, >_< that nyonye but Antony -S-Shouwd c-conquew UwU Antony; but woe 'tis so! -*sighs* ANTONY. I am dying, Egypt, dying; onwy -*leans over* I hewe impowtunye death awhiwe, untiw -Of *notices bulge* many thousand kisses the poow >_< wast -I way upon thy wips. -CWEOPATWA. I dawe nyot, deaw. -D-Deaw my wowd, pawdon! I dawe nyot, -West I b-be t-taken. Nyot th' impewious show -O-Of the fuww-fowtun'd Caesaw evew shaww -^w^ Be bwooch'd with me. If k-knyife, d-dwugs, sewpents, have ->_< Edge, sting, *teleports behind you* ow OwO opewation, I *giggles shyly* am safe. -Youw wife Octavia, with hew modest eyes -And stiww c-concwusion, shaww acquiwe *pokes you* nyo honyouw -Demuwing upon me. B-But come, come, Antony- -Hewp *teleports behind you* me, *moans* my women- w-we must dwaw thee ^w^ up; -*sweats* Assist, good fwiends. -ANTONY. O, q-quick, *screams* ow I am gonye. -C-CWEOPATWA. Hewe's spowt indeed! How heavy weighs my wowd! ->w< Ouw stwength is >w< aww gonye into heavinyess; -That makes t-the weight. Had I gweat Junyo's *cries* powew, -The stwong-wing'd >_< Mewcuwy shouwd fetch *sighs* thee u-up, -*sighs* And set thee by Jove's side. Yet come a wittwe. -Wishews wewe *moans* evew foows. O come, come, -[They *pokes you* heave ANTONY awoft to OwO CWEOPATWA] -*twerks* And wewcome, wewcome! Die w-whewe thou hast wiv'd. -Quicken with kissing. *notices bulge* Had my wips ^.^ that powew, -Thus wouwd *giggles shyly* I weaw them out. -AWW. A-A heavy sight! -ANTONY. I am dying, Egypt, dying. -Give me some winye, and wet me s-speak a wittwe. -CWEOPATWA. Nyo, wet me s-speak; and wet me waiw so high -That t-the fawse huswife Fowtunye bweak *moans* hew wheew, -Pwovok'd by my offence. -ANTONY. Onye wowd, sweet queen: ->w< Of Caesaw seek ^w^ youw *sighs* honyouw, with youw s-safety. O! -^-^ CWEOPATWA. They do n-nyot g-go togethew. -ANTONY. Gentwe, h-heaw me: -Nyonye about Caesaw *screams* twust but Pwocuweius. -CWEOPATWA. My w-wesowution and my hands *twerks* I'ww twust; -Nyonye about C-Caesaw -A-ANTONY. ;;w;; The *pokes you* misewabwe change nyow at my e-end -W-Wament x3 nyow sowwow at; but pwease youw thoughts -*cries* In feeding t-them with those *leans over* my f-fowmew fowtunyes -*teleports behind you* Whewein I *moans* wiv'd the gweatest pwince o' th' wowwd, -The nyobwest; and do n-nyow nyot basewy die, -Nyot cowawdwy p-put off my hewmet to -M-My countwyman- a Woman by a Woman -Vawiantwy *cries* vanquish'd. >w< Nyow my spiwit is g-going -I can *screams* nyo m-mowe. -CWEOPATWA. Nyobwest of men, woo't die? -*hugs tightly* Hast thou nyo c-cawe of me? Shaww I a-abide -In this duww wowwd, which in thy absence xDD is -Nyo bettew than :33 a sty? O, see, my *leans over* women, [Antony dies] -The cwown o-o' th' eawth doth mewt. My wowd! -O, withew'd is the g-gawwand of t-the waw, -The sowdiew's powe is faww'n! Young boys and g-giwws -:3 Awe wevew nyow with men. The odds is gonye, -And thewe is nyothing weft wemawkabwe -Benyeath the visiting moon. [Swoons] -CHAWMIAN. O, q-quietnyess, wady! -IWAS. She's dead too, ouw soveweign. -CHAWMIAN. Wady! -IWAS. Madam! -C-CHAWMIAN. O m-madam, madam, madam! -IWAS. *blushes* Woyaw Egypt, Empwess! -CHAWMIAN. Peace, p-peace, x3 Iwas! -CWEOPATWA. N-Nyo mowe *sighs* but e'en a woman, and commanded -By such poow passion as the m-maid that ^-^ miwks -*leans over* And does >w< the meanyest chawes. It wewe fow me -*moans* To thwow m-my sceptwe at the injuwious gods; -To *blushes* teww them that this wowwd did equaw theiws -Tiww >_> they had stow'n ouw >_> jewew. Aww's but nyought; -Patience is sottish, ^.^ and impatience *moans* does -Become *leans over* a dog that's mad. Then i-is *moans* it sin -To w-wush into the secwet house o-of death -Ewe UwU death dawe come to us? How *pokes you* do *blushes* you, women? -*sighs* What, what! uWu good cheew! Why, how *sweats* nyow, *screams* Chawmian! -My nyobwe >_< giwws! Ah, women, w-women, wook, -Ouw wamp is spent, it's out! Good siws, t-take h-heawt. -W-We'ww b-buwy him; and then, what's bwave, what's nyobwe, -Wet's do it aftew the high UwU Woman fashion, -And make death pwoud to take us. C-Come, away; -This case of that huge spiwit nyow is cowd. -A-Ah, :33 women, women! Come; we *twerks* have nyo fwiend -But wesowution and the bwiefest end. -Exeunt; t-those a-above heawing off ANTONY'S body - -ACT_5|SC_1 -*notices bulge* ACT V. SCENyE I. -Awexandwia. CAESAW'S camp - -Entew CAESAW, AGWIPPA, DOWABEWWA, M-MAECENyAS, GAWWUS, -PWOCUWEIUS, a-and othews, his Counciw of Waw - -CAESAW. Go to him, Dowabewwa, bid him yiewd; -Being so fwustwate, OwO teww him h-he mocks -The pauses that he makes. -DOWABEWWA. Caesaw, I shaww. Exit - -Entew DEWCETAS W-With *twerks* the swowd of ANTONY - -C-CAESAW. Whewefowe is that? A-And what awt thou that d-daw'st -Appeaw thus to u-us? -DEWCETAS. I a-am caww'd Dewcetas; -Mawk *leans over* Antony *giggles shyly* I UwU sewv'd, w-who best was wowthy -Best to be sewv'd. *hugs tightly* Whiwst he stood *looks at you* up and spoke, -He was my mastew, a-and I *looks away* wowe my >_< wife -To spend upon his hatews. If thou pwease -*hugs tightly* To take me *blushes* to t-thee, as I was to *twerks* him -I-I'ww be to Caesaw; if thou pweasest nyot, -*hugs tightly* I yiewd thee up my wife. -CAESAW. What *blushes* is't thou s-say'st? -DEWCETAS. I say, O C-Caesaw, Antony is dead. -C-CAESAW. The bweaking of so gweat a thing shouwd *looks away* make -A *moans* gweatew cwack. T-The w-wound w-wowwd -Shouwd UwU have shook wions into civiw stweets, -And citizens to theiw dens. The death of Antony -Is nyot a singwe doom; in the nyame *looks away* way -A moiety o-of the wowwd. -*sweats* DEWCETAS. He is ^w^ dead, Caesaw, -*pokes you* Nyot by a pubwic minyistew of ;;w;; justice, -Nyow by *moans* a hiwed *pokes you* knyife; but OwO that s-sewf hand -Which wwit his honyouw in the acts ^.^ it did -uWu Hath, with the couwage *twerks* which the *giggles shyly* heawt did *shuffles closer* wend *moans* it, -Spwitted the heawt. This is his swowd; -I wobb'd his wound of it; ;;w;; behowd it stain'd -With *giggles shyly* his *blushes* most nyobwe xDD bwood. -CAESAW. >w< Wook you sad, f-fwiends? -The gods webuke me, but it is tidings -To w-wash *shuffles closer* the e-eyes of *moans* kings. -AGWIPPA. And s-stwange it is -That nyatuwe must *looks away* compew us to wament -Ouw most pewsisted deeds. -MAECENyAS. *cuddles you* His taints and honyouws -Wag'd equaw with *cries* him. -A-AGWIPPA. *hugs tightly* A w-wawew spiwit nyevew -Did steew humanyity. But you gods wiww give us -Some f-fauwts to >w< make us men. xDD Caesaw is touch'd. -MAECENyAS. When such a spacious m-miwwow's set befowe him, -He nyeeds *sweats* must see himsewf. -CAESAW. :3 O Antony, -I have fowwow'd thee to this! B-But *cries* we d-do wance -*giggles shyly* Diseases in :33 ouw bodies. I must pewfowce -*giggles shyly* Have shown t-to thee such a decwinying day -Ow wook on thinye; we couwd nyot staww togethew -*cuddles you* In the whowe wowwd. But *pokes you* yet wet *giggles shyly* me w-wament, -W-With teaws *notices bulge* as s-soveweign a-as the bwood of h-heawts, -That thou, my *twerks* bwothew, my competitow -I-In top of aww design, my m-mate *blushes* in empiwe, -Fwiend and companyion in the fwont :33 of waw, -The awm o-of minye UwU own body, and the h-heawt -Whewe minye his thoughts d-did k-kindwe- t-that ouw staws, -U-Unweconciwiabwe, uWu shouwd divide -Ouw e-equawnyess to this. UwU Heaw me, *looks at you* good fwiends- - -Entew an EGYPTIAN - -But I wiww teww you at some meetew season. -The businyess >_> of this *sweats* man wooks out ^w^ of him; -We'ww heaw him what he says. Whence awe you? -EGYPTIAN. A poow Egyptian, yet ^-^ the Queen, my m-mistwess, -Confin'd in aww s-she has, hew m-monyument, -Of thy i-intents desiwes *sweats* instwuction, -*sighs* That she pwepawedwy may f-fwame hewsewf -To th' way she's fowc'd to. -CAESAW. Bid hew have good *twerks* heawt. -*screams* She soon shaww knyow *cuddles you* of u-us, by some of ouws, -How honyouwabwe and how kindwy w-we -Detewminye fow hew; UwU fow UwU Caesaw c-cannyot weawn -To be ungentwe. -EGYPTIAN. So t-the gods *shuffles closer* pwesewve thee! Exit -CAESAW. Come hithew, Pwocuweius. Go and say -We puwpose uWu hew nyo s-shame. G-Give hew *giggles shyly* what c-comfowts -The quawity of hew p-passion shaww wequiwe, -W-West, in hew g-gweatnyess, by some mowtaw stwoke -S-She do defeat uWu us; fow hew wife in Wome -*teleports behind you* Wouwd be etewnyaw in *looks away* ouw twiumph. Go, -And w-with y-youw speediest bwing us what she says, -And *twerks* how you find hew. -PWOCUWEIUS. Caesaw, I shaww. Exit -CAESAW. Gawwus, go you awong. E-Exit GAWWUS -*cries* Whewe's Dowabewwa, t-to s-second Pwocuweius? -AWW. Dowabewwa! -CAESAW. Wet him awonye, x3 fow I wemembew nyow -How he's empwoy'd; he shaww in time be weady. -Go with me to my tent, whewe you shaww see -*moans* How hawdwy *twerks* I was dwawn *shuffles closer* into this waw, -How cawm and g-gentwe I p-pwoceeded stiww -In aww my wwitings. Go with me, and see -What I can show in this. Exeunt - -OwO ACT_5|SC_2 -S-SCENyE II. -*sweats* Awexandwia. The monyument - -Entew CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, IWAS, and MAWDIAN - -C-CWEOPATWA. *looks away* My desowation does begin to make -A bettew wife. 'Tis pawtwy to be Caesaw: -Nyot being Fowtunye, he's but uWu Fowtunye's knyave, -A minyistew of hew wiww; and it is gweat -To do that thing that ends x3 aww o-othew d-deeds, -Which shackwes accidents and bowts up c-change, -Which sweeps, and nyevew p-pawates mowe the dug, -*sighs* The beggaw's n-nyuwse and Caesaw's. - -Entew, to the gates of t-the monyument, xDD PWOCUWEIUS, GAWWUS, -and sowdiews - -PWOCUWEIUS. Caesaw *twerks* sends gweetings to the Q-Queen of Egypt, -And b-bids *giggles shyly* thee study on what faiw demands -UwU Thou mean'st to have him gwant thee. -CWEOPATWA. ^w^ What's t-thy nyame? -PWOCUWEIUS. My nyame i-is Pwocuweius. -CWEOPATWA. Antony -Did teww me of *notices bulge* you, bade *sweats* me twust you; b-but -I-I d-do nyot gweatwy cawe to be deceiv'd, -That have nyo uWu use *screams* fow uWu twusting. If youw mastew -Wouwd have a *notices bulge* queen his >w< beggaw, x3 you must t-teww h-him -*sighs* That *moans* majesty, to keep ;;w;; decowum, must -Nyo *cuddles you* wess beg than OwO a kingdom. If he pwease -To *looks away* give me conquew'd >_> Egypt fow my son, -He gives m-me so much of minye own as I -Wiww k-knyeew to him with thanks. -*cuddles you* PWOCUWEIUS. ^.^ Be of good cheew; -Y'awe faww'n into a pwincewy hand; feaw *hugs tightly* nyothing. -Make youw fuww wefewence fweewy to my ^w^ wowd, -Who is so fuww of gwace that it fwows ovew -O-On aww that nyeed. Wet m-me wepowt to him -Youw sweet dependency, and you shaww f-find -A conquewow that wiww pway in *twerks* aid fow kindnyess -Whewe he fow gwace is knyeew'd >w< to. -C-CWEOPATWA. Pway you teww him -I am his fowtunye's *shuffles closer* vassaw and I s-send h-him -The gweatnyess he has got. I houwwy weawn -A doctwinye of obedience, and wouwd gwadwy -^.^ Wook him i' th' face. -PWOCUWEIUS. This I'ww wepowt, *teleports behind you* deaw w-wady. -Have comfowt, *hugs tightly* fow I knyow youw pwight is pitied -Of him *sighs* that caus'd it. -GAWWUS. You see how easiwy she may be *giggles shyly* suwpwis'd. - -Hewe ^w^ PWOCUWEIUS and two of the guawd ascend ^.^ the -m-monyument *sweats* by a waddew *cuddles you* pwaced against *looks at you* a window, -a-and come *leans over* behind CWEOPATWA. Some of the guawd -*screams* unbaw and o-open the gates - -Guawd h-hew tiww Caesaw come. Exit -IWAS. *moans* Woyaw Queen! -CHAWMIAN. O Cweopatwa! thou awt taken, Queen! -CWEOPATWA. Quick, q-quick, good hands. [Dwawing a daggew] -PWOCUWEIUS. xDD Howd, wowthy wady, howd, [Disawms hew] -Do nyot youwsewf such wwong, who awe in this -Wewiev'd, but n-nyot b-betway'd. -CWEOPATWA. What, *pokes you* of death ^w^ too, -That wids ouw dogs of wanguish? -uWu PWOCUWEIUS. Cweopatwa, -Do nyot abuse my mastew's bounty by -Th' undoing of *looks at you* youwsewf. Wet the wowwd see -His nyobwenyess weww acted, which youw d-death -Wiww nyevew *blushes* wet c-come fowth. -CWEOPATWA. Whewe awt thou, death? -*teleports behind you* Come hithew, *hugs tightly* come! Come, come, and take a queen -Wowth many babes and b-beggaws! -UwU PWOCUWEIUS. O, tempewance, wady! -CWEOPATWA. Siw, I wiww eat *leans over* nyo meat; I'ww nyot dwink, *looks at you* siw; -If idwe tawk w-wiww *blushes* once *screams* be n-nyecessawy, -I'ww n-nyot sweep nyeithew. This mowtaw house I'ww wuin, -Do Caesaw what he can. *giggles shyly* Knyow, siw, that I -Wiww n-nyot wait pinyion'd at youw mastew's couwt, -Nyow once b-be chastis'd with the sobew eye -Of d-duww *pokes you* Octavia. *shuffles closer* Shaww t-they *shuffles closer* hoist m-me u-up, -And show m-me to the shouting vawwetwy -Of censuwing Wome? Wathew a ditch in Egypt -Be g-gentwe gwave >_< unto me! Wathew *giggles shyly* on Nyiwus' mud -x3 Way me s-stawk-nyak'd, and wet the watew-fwies -Bwow m-me into abhowwing! Wathew ;;w;; make -My countwy's high pywamides OwO my gibbet, -And *looks at you* hang me up in chains! -PWOCUWEIUS. You do *pokes you* extend -These thoughts o-of howwow fuwthew than you shaww -F-Find *teleports behind you* cause in Caesaw. - -E-Entew DOWABEWWA - -*cries* DOWABEWWA. Pwocuweius, -What thou h-hast donye thy *screams* mastew Caesaw k-knyows, -*twerks* And he hath sent *sweats* fow thee. F-Fow the >_< Queen, -I'ww take hew to m-my guawd. -PWOCUWEIUS. So, Dowabewwa, -I-It shaww content me best. Be gentwe t-to hew. -[To C-CWEOPATWA] To Caesaw I wiww speak *leans over* what you shaww pwease, -If *twerks* you'ww empwoy me to him. -CWEOPATWA. Say I-I wouwd die. -Exeunt PWOCUWEIUS *teleports behind you* and *twerks* sowdiews -D-DOWABEWWA. Most nyobwe Empwess, you have >w< heawd of me? -*screams* CWEOPATWA. I cannyot teww. -DOWABEWWA. Assuwedwy you knyow me. -CWEOPATWA. Nyo mattew, siw, what I h-have heawd ow knyown. -You waugh when b-boys ow women teww theiw x3 dweams; -Is't nyot youw twick? -DOWABEWWA. I undewstand nyot, m-madam. -*cuddles you* CWEOPATWA. *shuffles closer* I dweamt thewe was an Empewow Antony- -O, such anyothew *looks at you* sweep, that *notices bulge* I might see -But such anyothew m-man! -DOWABEWWA. I-If i-it might pwease ye- -CWEOPATWA. uWu His face was as the heav'ns, and thewein stuck -*sweats* A sun and moon, which kept theiw c-couwse and *hugs tightly* wighted -The wittwe O-O, the eawth. -DOWABEWWA. Most soveweign cweatuwe- -*giggles shyly* CWEOPATWA. His wegs bestwid the ocean; *pokes you* his weaw'd awm -Cwested the w-wowwd. His voice was pwopewtied -As aww x3 the tunyed sphewes, and that to fwiends; -But when h-he m-meant to quaiw and *shuffles closer* shake the owb, -^.^ He was as wattwing thundew. Fow ;;w;; his bounty, -*looks away* Thewe was n-nyo wintew in't; an autumn 'twas -That gwew the mowe by weaping. His dewights -Wewe dowphin-wike: they show'd his back above -The e-ewement they wiv'd in. In his wivewy -Wawk'd *cuddles you* cwowns and *blushes* cwownyets; weawms and iswands wewe -As pwates x3 dwopp'd ^-^ fwom his pocket. -DOWABEWWA. Cweopatwa- -CWEOPATWA. *sighs* Think you *pokes you* thewe was *teleports behind you* ow might be such a-a :33 man -As this I dweamt of? -DOWABEWWA. Gentwe madam, nyo. -C-CWEOPATWA. You wie, up *blushes* to the heawing of the gods. -But *cuddles you* if thewe uWu be nyow evew w-wewe o-onye s-such, -It's past ^w^ the size of >_> dweawnying. Nyatuwe wants stuff -To vie stwange fowms with fancy; yet t' *sweats* imaginye -An Antony wewe n-nyatuwe's piece *looks away* 'gainst uWu fancy, -Condemnying *notices bulge* shadows quite. -DOWABEWWA. *teleports behind you* Heaw me, good madam. -Youw woss is, as youwsewf, g-gweat; and you b-beaw i-it -*looks at you* As answewing to the weight. Wouwd *sighs* I might nyevew -O'ewtake puwsu'd s-success, but I do f-feew, -By the webound of youws, a gwief that smites -My ;;w;; vewy *cries* heawt at woot. -CWEOPATWA. I thank you, siw. -Knyow you what *looks at you* Caesaw means to do with me? -D-DOWABEWWA. I am w-woath to teww you what *sweats* I wouwd you knyew. -CWEOPATWA. Nyay, pway *cries* you, siw. -DOWABEWWA. T-Though h-he be honyouwabwe- -*screams* CWEOPATWA. He'ww wead me, then, in twiumph? -DOWABEWWA. Madam, *sighs* he w-wiww. I >w< knyow't. [-[Fwouwish] -[Within: 'Make way thewe-Caesaw!'] - -*hugs tightly* Entew >_> CAESAW; GAWWUS, *twerks* PWOCUWEIUS, M-MAECENyAS, *cries* SEWEUCUS, -and *shuffles closer* othews of *giggles shyly* his twain - -CAESAW. Which *moans* is the Q-Queen of Egypt? -DOWABEWWA. It ^.^ is the Empewow, madam. [-[CWEOPATPA knyeews] -CAESAW. Awise, you s-shaww nyot knyeew. -I p-pway you, wise; wise, Egypt. -*shuffles closer* CWEOPATWA. Siw, the *screams* gods -W-Wiww have it thus; my mastew and my wowd -I must o-obey. -CAESAW. Take to uWu you >_> nyo hawd thoughts. -The wecowd of w-what *leans over* injuwies *looks at you* you did UwU us, -Though wwitten in *leans over* ouw fwesh, we shaww wemembew -As t-things but *looks at you* donye by chance. -*blushes* CWEOPATWA. *giggles shyly* Sowe siw o' th' wowwd, -I cannyot ;;w;; pwoject minye own cause so weww -To make it cweaw, *twerks* but do confess I-I have -Been waden with wike fwaiwties w-which befowe -Have often sham'd ouw s-sex. -CAESAW. Cweopatwa, knyow -We wiww ;;w;; extenyuate w-wathew t-than enfowce. -If you appwy y-youwsewf to *blushes* ouw intents- -Which >w< towawds you awe most gentwe- you shaww find -A benyefit i-in this change; but if you seek -^-^ To way on me a cwuewty by taking -Antony's couwse, you shaww beweave youwsewf -Of my good p-puwposes, and put youw chiwdwen -To that destwuction which I'ww ^-^ guawd them fwom, -uWu If theweon you *screams* wewy. I'ww t-take my w-weave. -CWEOPATWA. A-And may, thwough aww the wowwd. 'Tis y-youws, and we, -Youw scutcheons and youw s-signs of conquest, shaww -Hang in what pwace you p-pwease. Hewe, my good wowd. -*pokes you* CAESAW. You s-shaww advise me in aww *sighs* fow Cweopatwa. -CWEOPATWA. This is the *hugs tightly* bwief of monyey, pwate, and jewews, -I am possess'd o-of. 'Tis exactwy vawued, -Nyot petty things >_< admitted. Whewe's Seweucus? -SEWEUCUS. Hewe, madam. -CWEOPATWA. This is my tweasuwew; wet him speak, m-my wowd, -Upon his pewiw, that I h-have *sighs* wesewv'd -To mysewf nyothing. *giggles shyly* Speak *teleports behind you* the twuth, Seweucus. -SEWEUCUS. M-Madam, -I had wathew seaw my wips than to my pewiw -Speak that which is nyot. -*pokes you* CWEOPATWA. *looks away* What have >w< I k-kept b-back? -SEWEUCUS. Enyough t-to puwchase what you have *pokes you* made *teleports behind you* knyown. -CAESAW. Nyay, bwush nyot, C-Cweopatwa; I a-appwove -Youw wisdom *moans* in the deed. -CWEOPATWA. See, *blushes* Caesaw! O, behowd, -How *looks away* pomp i-is fowwowed! Minye ^w^ wiww UwU nyow be youws; -And, shouwd we shift estates, youws wouwd be minye. -The ingwatitude *notices bulge* of this S-Seweucus does -Even make me wiwd. O swave, of nyo mowe UwU twust -x3 Than wove that's h-hiw'd! W-What, goest *cuddles you* thou b-back? Thou shawt -Go back, I-I ^w^ wawwant thee; but I'ww catch >_> thinye eyes -Though they had *screams* wings. Swave, souwwess viwwain, dog! -O wawewy base! -CAESAW. Good Queen, wet us entweat you. -CWEOPATWA. *cuddles you* O Caesaw, what a wounding shame is this, -T-That thou vouchsafing *notices bulge* hewe to *cries* visit *shuffles closer* me, -Doing :33 the honyouw *shuffles closer* of thy wowdwinyess -T-To onye so meek, that minye own sewvant shouwd -Pawcew the ^.^ sum of m-my disgwaces by -Addition of his envy! Say, good Caesaw, -That I *looks at you* some wady twifwes have wesewv'd, -I-Immoment toys, things of such dignyity -As we gweet modewn fwiends withaw; and say -Some nyobwew *sweats* token I have kept apawt -*looks away* Fow Wivia :33 and Octavia, to induce -Theiw *hugs tightly* mediation- ^.^ must I *shuffles closer* be unfowded -W-With onye that I have >_> bwed? The gods! It smites me -Benyeath t-the faww I *sweats* have. >_> [To SEWEUCUS] Pwithee go hence; -Ow I shaww *moans* show the c-cindews of my spiwits -Thwough th' ashes of my chance. Wewt t-thou a man, -T-Thou w-wouwdst h-have *looks at you* mewcy on me. -CAESAW. Fowbeaw, Seweucus. Exit SEWEUCUS -CWEOPATWA. ^w^ Be it knyown that w-we, t-the gweatest, awe misthought -Fow things that othews do; a-and when we faww -We answew *cuddles you* othews' mewits *hugs tightly* in ouw nyame, -*pokes you* Awe *sighs* thewefowe to be pitied. -CAESAW. Cweopatwa, -Nyot what you have wesewv'd, n-nyow what acknyowwedg'd, -Put we i' th' woww o-of conquest. Stiww be't youws, -Bestow *screams* it at youw pweasuwe; and bewieve -Caesaw's nyo mewchant, to make p-pwize >_< with UwU you -Of things that mewchants *cries* sowd. T-Thewefowe be cheew'd; -Make nyot youw thoughts youw *looks away* pwisons. Nyo, d-deaw OwO Queen; -Fow we i-intend so to d-dispose you as ->w< Youwsewf shaww *shuffles closer* give us counsew. F-Feed and sweep. -Ouw cawe and *leans over* pity is s-so much upon you -That we wemain y-youw ;;w;; fwiend; and so, adieu. -*cuddles you* CWEOPATWA. My mastew *pokes you* and my wowd! -C-CAESAW. Nyot so. Adieu. -Fwouwish. Exeunt C-CAESAW ^.^ and his twain -CWEOPATWA. He *giggles shyly* wowds m-me, giwws, he wowds me, t-that I shouwd nyot -*sweats* Be n-nyobwe to mysewf. But hawk thee, Chawmian! -[Whispews C-CHAWMIAN] ->w< IWAS. Finyish, good *blushes* wady; x3 the bwight *moans* day is donye, -And we a-awe fow the d-dawk. -CWEOPATWA. Hie thee again. -I have spoke awweady, and it *cuddles you* is pwovided; -Go ^.^ put it to t-the haste. -CHAWMIAN. M-Madam, I wiww. - -W-We-entew DOWABEWWA - -D-DOWABEWWA. Whewe's the *cries* Queen? -CHAWMIAN. Behowd, siw. Exit -CWEOPATWA. Dowabewwa! -DOWABEWWA. :3 Madam, as >_> theweto swown by y-youw command, -Which *hugs tightly* my wove makes xDD wewigion :3 to obey, -I ^-^ teww y-you this: Caesaw thwough Sywia -Intends his jouwnyey, and within thwee d-days -You with youw chiwdwen wiww he send befowe. -Make youw b-best use of t-this; UwU I have pewfowm'd -Youw pweasuwe >_> and *teleports behind you* my p-pwomise. -*cuddles you* CWEOPATWA. Dowabewwa, -I shaww wemain youw debtow. -DOWABEWWA. I-I youw sewvant. -Adieu, good Queen; I must attend on Caesaw. -*teleports behind you* CWEOPATWA. F-Faweweww, and thanks. Exit DOWABEWWA -Nyow, Iwas, what t-think'st t-thou? -Thou an Egyptian puppet shaww be shown -In Wome as weww as I. Mechanyic swaves, -With gweasy a-apwons, ^w^ wuwes, and hammews, shaww -Upwift *cries* us to t-the view; in theiw >w< thick bweaths, -*cuddles you* Wank of gwoss diet, shaww *screams* we be encwouded, -And fowc'd *teleports behind you* to *cries* dwink theiw vapouw. -IWAS. The gods fowbid! -CWEOPATWA. Nyay, 'tis most ^w^ cewtain, Iwas. S-Saucy wictows ->_< Wiww catch at us w-wike stwumpets, ^.^ and scawd whymews -Bawwad us out o' tunye; the quick comedians -Extempowawwy wiww stage us, and pwesent -Ouw Awexandwian wevews; Antony -Shaww be bwought dwunken f-fowth, and I shaww see -S-Some squeaking Cweopatwa *moans* boy my *screams* gweatnyess -I' th' postuwe of a whowe. -I-IWAS. O the good *giggles shyly* gods! -^.^ CWEOPATWA. Nyay, that's cewtain. -IWAS. I'ww nyevew see't, fow I am suwe m-minye nyaiws -*cries* Awe stwongew than UwU minye eyes. -CWEOPATWA. Why, that's the xDD way -*looks away* To foow theiw pwepawation and t-to conquew -*notices bulge* Theiw most absuwd intents. - -Entew C-CHAWMIAN - -Nyow, C-Chawmian! -*sighs* Show me, my women, wike *giggles shyly* a q-queen. Go >_> fetch -^w^ My b-best attiwes. I am again fow Cydnyus, -To meet Mawk ^w^ Antony. Siwwah, I-Iwas, go. -Nyow, nyobwe Chawmian, we'ww dispatch indeed; -And when thou hast donye this chawe, I'ww give t-thee weave -To pway tiww doomsday. Bwing >_> ouw cwown and *cries* aww. -Exit IWAS. A-A nyoise :3 within -Whewefowe's this nyoise? - -Entew a G-GUAWDSMAN - -GUAWDSMAN. Hewe is a wuwaw fewwow -That *cuddles you* wiww nyot be ^.^ denyied youw Highnyess' pwesence. -He *sweats* bwings you >_> figs. -CWEOPATWA. W-Wet :3 him x3 come i-in. Exit GUAWDSMAN -What poow an i-instwument -*cuddles you* May d-do ^-^ a nyobwe deed! H-He bwings me wibewty. -My wesowution's pwac'd, and I *notices bulge* have n-nyothing -*screams* Of *looks away* woman in *cries* me. Nyow fwom *cuddles you* head to foot -I a-am mawbwe-constant; nyow the fweeting m-moon -Nyo ;;w;; pwanyet *leans over* is *looks away* of minye. - -*shuffles closer* We-entew *teleports behind you* GUAWDSMAN and CWOWN, >_< with a basket - -GUAWDSMAN. *twerks* This is the man. -CWEOPATWA. Avoid, and weave him. Exit GUAWDSMAN -*sighs* Hast thou the pwetty *leans over* wowm of Nyiwus thewe -That kiwws and pains nyot? -CWOWN. *blushes* Twuwy, I have him. But I w-wouwd *cuddles you* nyot be *pokes you* the pawty that s-shouwd -desiwe UwU you to touch him, fow h-his b-biting i-is immowtaw; those that -do die :33 of i-it *sighs* do sewdom ow nyevew wecovew. -CWEOPATWA. Wemembew'st thou any that h-have died on't? -CWOWN. Vewy many, OwO men and ^-^ women too. I heawd of onye o-of them n-nyo -wongew than ;;w;; yestewday: a vewy *leans over* honyest woman, but something given -to wie, a-as a woman s-shouwd nyot *twerks* do but in t-the *giggles shyly* way of honyesty; how -she died o-of the *cuddles you* biting x3 of it, what pain she fewt- *screams* twuwy she makes -a vewy *giggles shyly* good wepowt xDD o' x3 th' wowm. But he that w-wiww bewieve aww that -they say shaww nyevew be saved by hawf :3 that they do. But this is -most fawwiabwe, t-the w-wowm's an odd wowm. -C-CWEOPATWA. Get thee *screams* hence; faweweww. -CWOWN. I w-wish you a-aww joy >_< of the wowm. -[Sets down the basket] -CWEOPATWA. Faweweww. -CWOWN. You must t-think t-this, wook you, ^-^ that the wowm w-wiww do his -kind. -CWEOPATWA. Ay, ay; faweweww. -C-CWOWN. Wook you, the wowm is nyot to be twusted but i-in t-the keeping -of wise *screams* peopwe; fow indeed thewe is nyo goodnyess in the wowm. ->_< CWEOPATWA. T-Take thou nyo cawe; it shaww *leans over* be h-heeded. -CWOWN. Vewy :33 good. OwO Give i-it nyothing, I-I pway y-you, fow it *giggles shyly* is nyot wowth -the f-feeding. -CWEOPATWA. *cuddles you* Wiww it eat m-me? -CWOWN. You must nyot think I am so simpwe but I knyow the deviw -himsewf w-wiww nyot eat a ^w^ woman. I knyow that a woman is a-a d-dish fow -UwU the gods, i-if the deviw dwess hew nyot. *looks away* But twuwy, these *teleports behind you* same -*screams* whoweson deviws do the gods gweat h-hawm i-in uWu theiw women, fow in -evewy ten that they make the deviws maw five. -C-CWEOPATWA. Weww, get ^.^ thee gonye; f-faweweww. -CWOWN. Yes, fowsooth. I wish you joy o' th' wowm. Exit - -We-entew IWAS, w-with a wobe, cwown, &c. - -CWEOPATWA. Give me m-my wobe, put on *teleports behind you* my cwown; ^-^ I h-have -Immowtaw wongings in me. Nyow nyo mowe -The juice of Egypt's gwape shaww moist t-this >_< wip. -Yawe, yawe, good Iwas; quick. ^-^ Methinks I heaw -Antony caww. I see him wouse himsewf -To pwaise my nyobwe act. I heaw him mock -The wuck of Caesaw, which the gods give *pokes you* men -*cuddles you* To excuse theiw UwU aftew wwath. Husband, I come. -Nyow to that nyame m-my >w< couwage pwove my >w< titwe! -I *cries* am *cries* fiwe and aiw; my *moans* othew ewements -I give to basew w-wife. So, have you donye? -C-Come then, and take the wast wawmth of my wips. -Faweweww, kind Chawmian. Iwas, wong faweweww. -[Kisses them. IWAS f-fawws and dies] -Have I *teleports behind you* the aspic in my wips? D-Dost f-faww? -If thus thou and nyatuwe >w< can s-so gentwy *cuddles you* pawt, -*blushes* The stwoke of death is as a wovew's pinch, -*notices bulge* Which :3 huwts >_< and i-is d-desiw'd. Dost thou wie stiww? -If x3 thou vanyishest, t-thou teww'st the wowwd -It is ^.^ nyot wowth weave-taking. -*sweats* CHAWMIAN. Dissowve, thick cwoud, and wain, that I m-may say -The g-gods themsewves do weep. -CWEOPATWA. This pwoves me base. -If she f-fiwst meet the >_> cuwwed A-Antony, -He'ww *hugs tightly* make demand of hew, and spend that kiss -Which is my heaven *twerks* to have. C-Come, t-thou mowtaw >_> wwetch, -[To an asp, which she appwies to hew *sighs* bweast] -With thy shawp teeth this knyot intwinsicate -Of wife at once *pokes you* untie. *giggles shyly* Poow x3 venyomous foow, -Be >w< angwy and d-dispatch. O c-couwdst thou speak, -*sighs* That I might h-heaw *giggles shyly* thee caww gweat Caesaw ass -Unpowicied! -CHAWMIAN. O Eastewn staw! -CWEOPATWA. Peace, peace! -uWu Dost thou nyot see my baby at my bweast -That sucks *cuddles you* the nyuwse asweep? -CHAWMIAN. O, bweak! O-O, bweak! -*pokes you* CWEOPATWA. *notices bulge* As *looks at you* sweet a-as bawm, as soft as aiw, as gentwe- -O Antony! Nyay, I wiww take thee too: -[Appwying anyothew asp to hew *moans* awm] -What shouwd I stay- [-[Dies] -C-CHAWMIAN. In this *moans* viwe wowwd? So, f-fawe thee weww. -Nyow boast thee, death, in :33 thy possession wies -A wass unpawawwew'd. D-Downy windows, cwose; -And gowden *cries* Phoebus nyevew be behewd -Of eyes again so woyaw! Youw *pokes you* cwown's a-awwy; -I'ww mend it and then pway- - -*twerks* Entew the guawd, ^-^ wushing in - -FIWST GUAWD. Whewe's the Queen? -CHAWMIAN. ^w^ Speak s-softwy, wake hew nyot. -FIWST GUAWD. Caesaw hath sent- -CHAWMIAN. :3 Too swow a messengew. [Appwies an asp] -O, come a-apace, dispatch. I pawtwy feew thee. -FIWST GUAWD. Appwoach, h-ho! Aww's nyot weww: Caesaw's beguiw'd. -SECOND GUAWD. Thewe's Dowabewwa sent f-fwom Caesaw; caww him. -FIWST GUAWD. What wowk is hewe! *moans* Chawmian, *looks away* is this weww *teleports behind you* donye? -CHAWMIAN. It is weww OwO donye, and *moans* fitting fow a pwinces -Descended of so many woyaw kings. -UwU Ah, sowdiew! [-[CHAWMIAN *moans* dies] - -We-entew D-DOWABEWWA - -DOWABEWWA. How goes it hewe? -SECOND GUAWD. Aww dead. -UwU DOWABEWWA. Caesaw, xDD thy thoughts -T-Touch *screams* theiw effects in this. Thysewf awt coming -To see pewfowm'd the dweaded act which thou -So sought'st to *sweats* hindew. -[Within: 'A way thewe, a way f-fow Caesaw!'] - -xDD We-entew CAESAW and aww his twain - -DOWABEWWA. O siw, *giggles shyly* you awe too suwe an auguwew: -T-That you did feaw *looks away* is donye. -*leans over* CAESAW. Bwavest a-at the wast, -S-She weveww'd at ouw puwposes, and being woyaw, -Took h-hew own way. The m-mannyew o-of t-theiw deaths? -*twerks* I do nyot see *twerks* them bweed. -DOWABEWWA. Who was wast with them? -FIWST GUAWD. A simpwe countwyman that b-bwought hew figs. -This was his uWu basket. -CAESAW. Poison'd then. -F-FIWST GUAWD. O *teleports behind you* Caesaw, -T-This Chawmian wiv'd but nyow; she stood and spake. -I found uWu hew twimming u-up the diadem -On hew dead *cuddles you* mistwess. Twembwingwy she stood, -And on the sudden dwopp'd. -CAESAW. O nyobwe weaknyess! -If they had ^.^ swawwow'd poison *cuddles you* 'twouwd appeaw -By extewnyaw *blushes* swewwing; b-but she :33 wooks wike sweep, -As s-she wouwd catch anyothew OwO Antony -uWu In hew stwong toiw of gwace. -DOWABEWWA. Hewe on hew bweast -*teleports behind you* Thewe is a-a vent of b-bwood, x3 and something *notices bulge* bwown; -The >w< wike is on hew awm. -FIWST GUAWD. This is an aspic's twaiw; and these fig-weaves -Have swime upon x3 them, such a-as ^-^ th' aspic weaves -Upon the c-caves of Nyiwe. -CAESAW. Most pwobabwe -That *sighs* so she died; fow *looks at you* hew >_> physician tewws me -She hath puwsu'd concwusions infinyite -Of easy ways t-to die. Take up hew bed, -And beaw hew women fwom the >w< monyument. -S-She shaww *leans over* be buwied by hew Antony; -Nyo gwave upon *notices bulge* the eawth shaww cwip in it -A paiw so f-famous. High events a-as these -Stwike those *moans* that make *screams* them; and theiw stowy is -*looks away* Nyo wess in pity t-than his gwowy which -B-Bwought *sweats* them to be wamented. Ouw *looks at you* awmy shaww -I-In sowemn show attend this funyewaw, -A-And then to Wome. Come, Dowabewwa, see -High owdew i-in t-this g-gweat sowemnyity. UwU Exeunt - - -*hugs tightly* THE END - - - -<_> MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH >w< COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW *hugs tightly* OW O-OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE uWu NyOT DISTWIBUTED O-OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME xDD OW >w< FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -uWu 1601 - -AS YOU WIKE >_> IT - -by Wiwwiam :33 Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE. - -DUKE, wiving in exiwe -*twerks* FWEDEWICK, his bwothew, and usuwpew of h-his dominyions -AMIENS, wowd attending on the banyished ^w^ Duke -JAQUES, " " " " " " ->_< WE BEAU, a couwtiew attending upon Fwedewick -C-CHAWWES, w-wwestwew to Fwedewick -OWIVEW, son of Siw Wowwand de :33 Boys -J-JAQUES, *looks away* " " " " " " -OWWANDO, " " " "-" " :3 " -ADAM, :3 sewvant t-to Owivew -DENNyIS, " " " -T-TOUCHSTONyE, the couwt jestew -SIW OWIVEW MAWTEXT, a vicaw -COWIN, shephewd -SIWVIUS, " -WIWWIAM, a countwy fewwow, ^.^ in *teleports behind you* wove with Audwey -A pewson wepwesenting HYMEN - -*leans over* WOSAWIND, daughtew to OwO the banyished Duke -CEWIA, x3 daughtew to Fwedewick -^-^ PHEBE, a shephewdes -AUDWEY, *cuddles you* a countwy wench - -Wowds, Pages, F-Fowestews, and Attendants - - - - -*sighs* <> - - - -SCENyE: -OWIVEW'S house; FWEDEWICK'S c-couwt; and t-the Fowest ;;w;; of Awden - -ACT I. *hugs tightly* SCENyE I. -*pokes you* Owchawd of O-OWIVEW'S house - -*screams* Entew OWWANDO and ADAM - -*pokes you* OWWANDO. As I ;;w;; wemembew, Adam, it was upon this fashion bequeathed -m-me by wiww *sighs* but poow *twerks* a thousand cwowns, a-and, as thou say'st, -chawged my bwothew, on his bwessing, to bweed me weww; and thewe -b-begins my >_< sadnyess. My bwothew uWu Jaques h-he keeps at schoow, and -wepowt speaks gowdenwy of his *sweats* pwofit. Fow my pawt, he keeps me -wusticawwy at home, ow, to speak mowe UwU pwopewwy, s-stays ^.^ me hewe *shuffles closer* at -home u-unkept; fow *cries* caww you *giggles shyly* that keeping fow a gentweman of my -biwth that d-diffews nyot *shuffles closer* fwom the stawwing of an ox? H-His *giggles shyly* howses *looks away* awe -b-bwed bettew; fow, besides that >_< they awe faiw with theiw feeding, -they awe taught theiw manyage, a-and to that end w-widews deawwy -hiw'd; but I, his *twerks* bwothew, gain nyothing undew him but g-gwowth; fow ->_< the which his UwU anyimaws on his d-dunghiwws awe as much bound *notices bulge* to him -*sighs* as I. Besides this n-nyothing *sighs* that *blushes* he so pwentifuwwy gives ;;w;; me, the -something *moans* that >_> nyatuwe gave uWu me his countenyance *looks at you* seems to t-take f-fwom -me. He wets :3 me f-feed with his hinds, baws me the pwace of a -b-bwothew, and as much as in h-him w-wies, minyes my gentiwity with my -e-education. This is it, A-Adam, that gwieves me; and t-the spiwit of -my fathew, which I think is within m-me, begins to mutiny against -*sweats* this sewvitude. I-I wiww nyo wongew enduwe it, though yet I k-knyow nyo -wise w-wemedy how to avoid it. - -Entew OWIVEW - -ADAM. ^.^ Yondew >_> comes my mastew, youw bwothew. -OWWANDO. Go apawt, Adam, and thou shawt h-heaw how he wiww shake me -up. [ADAM wetiwes] -OWIVEW. Nyow, siw! what make UwU you hewe? -OWWANDO. Nyothing; I-I am nyot uWu taught to make any >_> thing. -*sweats* OWIVEW. What maw you then, siw? -OWWANDO. Mawwy, siw, I a-am *giggles shyly* hewping you to m-maw that which God *moans* made, a -poow unwowthy bwothew o-of youws, with idwenyess. -OWIVEW. M-Mawwy, siw, *teleports behind you* be bettew ;;w;; empwoyed, a-and be >_< nyought *leans over* awhiwe. -OWWANDO. Shaww *notices bulge* I k-keep ;;w;; youw hogs, and eat husks with them? What -pwodigaw powtion have I spent that I shouwd come to such penyuwy? -OWIVEW. Knyow you *teleports behind you* whewe *sighs* you awe, siw? -OWWANDO. O, s-siw, >w< vewy weww; hewe in youw owchawd. -OWIVEW. Knyow you befowe ^w^ whom, siw? -O-OWWANDO. Ay, bettew than him I am befowe k-knyows me. I knyow you awe -m-my ewdest *notices bulge* bwothew; and i-in the gentwe c-condition of bwood, you -shouwd so knyow *giggles shyly* me. *cries* The c-couwtesy of nyations awwows you my bettew -in that y-you awe the fiwst-bown; but the same twadition takes nyot -away m-my b-bwood, wewe thewe twenty bwothews betwixt u-us. I have as -much of m-my fathew in me as you, a-awbeit I confess youw coming -befowe *shuffles closer* me is *twerks* nyeawew to his wevewence. -O-OWIVEW. What, boy! [Stwikes him] -OWWANDO. Come, come, ewdew bwothew, y-you :33 awe too >w< young in this. -OWIVEW. Wiwt thou way hands on m-me, viwwain? -OWWANDO. I a-am nyo *hugs tightly* viwwain; I am the youngest son *screams* of Siw *cries* Wowwand de -Boys. >_< He >_< was my OwO fathew; and he i-is thwice a viwwain t-that ^.^ says s-such -a *moans* fathew begot viwwains. Wewt thou nyot m-my bwothew, I UwU wouwd nyot -take this hand fwom thy thwoat tiww this othew had puww'd *screams* out thy -tongue fow s-saying so. Thou has waiw'd on thysewf. ->_< ADAM. [Coming fowwawd] Sweet m-mastews, be patient; fow youw fathew's -wemembwance, be at a-accowd. -OWIVEW. Wet m-me go, I s-say. -O-OWWANDO. I w-wiww nyot, tiww I pwease; you shaww heaw me. My *pokes you* fathew -*cuddles you* chawg'd you i-in his wiww to give m-me good e-education: you have -t-twain'd me wike a peasant, obscuwing and h-hiding fwom me aww -gentweman-wike quawities. The *cries* spiwit of m-my f-fathew gwows stwong in -me, >_> and *sighs* I wiww nyo wongew enduwe >_< it; thewefowe awwow me such -exewcises as may b-become a gentweman, o-ow *sighs* give *cries* me the *twerks* poow -awwottewy my fathew weft xDD me by testament; with that I *cuddles you* wiww go buy -my fowtunyes. -OWIVEW. And what wiwt thou do? Beg, when that is s-spent? Weww, siw, -get you in. I wiww nyot wong be twoubwed *moans* with you; y-you shaww *blushes* have -s-some pawt o-of youw wiww. *screams* I pway you weave *shuffles closer* me. -OWWANDO. I nyo f-fuwthew offend you than becomes me fow my good. -*teleports behind you* OWIVEW. Get you with him, you owd dog. -ADAM. Is 'owd dog' my wewawd? Most twue, I have wost my teeth in -y-youw sewvice. G-God be with my owd mastew! He wouwd nyot have spoke -such a wowd. -Exeunt OWWANDO and ADAM -OWIVEW. I-Is it even *blushes* so? B-Begin you to gwow u-upon me? I >_< wiww physic -youw wanknyess, and yet g-give nyo thousand cwowns n-nyeithew. Howwa, -Dennyis! - -*looks at you* Entew DENNyIS - -D-DENNyIS. Cawws y-youw wowship? -OWIVEW. nyot Chawwes, the Duke's wwestwew, x3 hewe to speak with x3 me? -DENNyIS. So pwease you, he is hewe *screams* at the doow and impowtunyes access -to you. -OWIVEW. Caww him :33 in. [Exit DENNyIS] 'Twiww be a good ^-^ way; and -*leans over* to-mowwow the wwestwing is. - -Entew CHAWWES - -CHAWWES. G-Good m-mowwow to *sweats* youw wowship. -^-^ OWIVEW. *shuffles closer* Good M-Monsieuw *sweats* Chawwes! What's t-the nyew nyews at the nyew -c-couwt? -CHAWWES. Thewe's nyo nyews a-at the couwt, siw, but the owd *giggles shyly* nyews; that -:3 is, the owd Duke is b-banyished *moans* by his youngew *hugs tightly* bwothew the nyew Duke; -a-and thwee *twerks* ow fouw woving ^-^ wowds have put themsewves into vowuntawy -e-exiwe with h-him, whose uWu wands *teleports behind you* and wevenyues enwich the nyew Duke; -thewefowe he gives them good weave to wandew. -OWIVEW. Can you teww OwO if Wosawind, the Duke's ^w^ daughtew, b-be banyished -with hew fathew? -CHAWWES. O, n-nyo; fow the Duke's daughtew, ^-^ hew cousin, *notices bulge* so woves h-hew, -being evew fwom theiw cwadwes bwed togethew, that she wouwd have -fowwowed hew *notices bulge* exiwe, ow h-have died to stay behind hew. ^w^ She is at -*twerks* the couwt, and nyo *hugs tightly* wess b-bewoved *looks at you* of hew x3 uncwe than his own -daughtew; and nyevew xDD two w-wadies woved a-as they d-do. -O-OWIVEW. *pokes you* Whewe wiww the owd Duke wive? -CHAWWES. They say he is awweady in the Fowest of *looks away* Awden, a-and a many -mewwy *notices bulge* men w-with him; xDD and thewe they wive w-wike the owd Wobin Hood -of Engwand. They say many young gentwemen fwock to him *sweats* evewy ^-^ day, -and fweet the t-time cawewesswy, as they did in x3 the gowden wowwd. -OwO OWIVEW. uWu What, *moans* you wwestwe to-mowwow befowe the nyew D-Duke? -CHAWWES. Mawwy, do I, siw; and I came to acquaint you *blushes* with a -mattew. I am given, siw, secwetwy to u-undewstand that youw youngew -bwothew, Owwando, hath a disposition to come in *screams* disguis'd against -me t-to twy a *sweats* faww. ^-^ To-mowwow, siw, I wwestwe f-fow *pokes you* my c-cwedit; and he -t-that ;;w;; escapes me *moans* without some bwoken wimb *teleports behind you* shaww acquit *sighs* him weww. -Youw bwothew *sweats* is but y-young and tendew; and, f-fow youw wove, I wouwd -be woath to foiw him, as I must, fow my own uWu honyouw, if he come -in; thewefowe, out of my wove to you, I came :33 hithew to acquaint -you w-withaw, *looks at you* that *looks at you* eithew you might UwU stay him fwom ^-^ his intendment, -*sighs* ow *cuddles you* bwook such disgwace *teleports behind you* weww as he shaww wun i-into, in that it is -t-thing of *twerks* his o-own seawch and a-awtogethew a-against my *looks at you* wiww. -OWIVEW. Chawwes, I thank thee f-fow t-thy wove to me, which thou shawt -find I wiww most kindwy wequite. I h-had mysewf x3 nyotice of my -bwothew's puwpose hewein, and have by undewhand m-means wabouwed to -dissuade him fwom it; but he is wesowute. I'ww >_< teww thee, -Chawwes, it is the stubbownyest *sighs* young *cuddles you* fewwow of Fwance; fuww of -ambition, an envious e-emuwatow of evewy *leans over* man's good pawts, a secwet -and viwwainyous contwivew against me xDD his nyatuwaw bwothew. -Thewefowe use *cries* thy discwetion: *screams* I *moans* had as w-wief thou d-didst bweak UwU his -nyeck as his fingew. And thou wewt best wook t-to't; fow if thou -dost him any swight disgwace, ow if he d-do nyot *blushes* mightiwy *moans* gwace -himsewf on thee, he wiww pwactise against thee by poison, entwap -t-thee by some tweachewous device, a-and n-nyevew weave thee ^-^ tiww he -hath t-ta'en thy wife by >w< some indiwect means ow othew; fow, *teleports behind you* I -assuwe >_> thee, and awmost with teaws I speak ^w^ it, thewe is *screams* nyot *sighs* onye -so y-young and so viwwainyous t-this day wiving. I s-speak but bwothewwy -of him; *sweats* but shouwd I anyatomize him to thee as he is, I must bwush -a-and weep, and thou must >_> wook pawe and :3 wondew. -C-CHAWWES. I am heawtiwy g-gwad I uWu came hithew to y-you. I-If he come -to-mowwow *teleports behind you* I'ww give him x3 his payment. *hugs tightly* If *pokes you* evew he go >_> awonye again, -I'ww nyevew wwestwe >_< fow pwize mowe. And s-so, God *looks away* keep youw wowship! -Exit -OWIVEW. Faweweww, *cries* good C-Chawwes. Nyow wiww I stiw *looks at you* this gamestew. I -*twerks* hope I shaww see an end of him; fow my souw, yet I knyow nyot why, -hates nyothing mowe than he. Yet he's *screams* gentwe; nyevew s-schoow'd a-and -yet weawnyed; xDD fuww of nyobwe *blushes* device; of aww s-sowts enchantingwy -bewoved; and, indeed, so m-much in the >w< heawt of the UwU wowwd, and -especiawwy of my own peopwe, who :33 best knyow *leans over* him, that I am -awtogethew mispwised. But it shaww *twerks* nyot be so >_> wong; this wwestwew -shaww cweaw aww. Nyothing wemains *hugs tightly* but that *twerks* I kindwe t-the boy -thithew, w-which nyow I'ww >_< go a-about. Exit - - - -<> - - - - -SCENyE II. -A-A wawn befowe the DUKE'S pawace - -Entew W-WOSAWIND and CEWIA - -CEWIA. I pway thee, Wosawind, sweet my *teleports behind you* coz, be mewwy. -WOSAWIND. Deaw Cewia, I show mowe miwth t-than I am mistwess o-of; and -wouwd you yet I wewe >w< mewwiew? U-Unwess you *blushes* couwd teach me to fowget -a-a banyished fathew, you must nyot w-weawn me how to w-wemembew any -extwaowdinyawy pweasuwe. -CEWIA. H-Hewein *leans over* I see thou wov'st me *notices bulge* nyot with *cuddles you* the fuww weight that *hugs tightly* I -wove *shuffles closer* thee. If my uncwe, thy banyished fathew, h-had banyished t-thy -uncwe, the Duke my fathew, so thou hadst been stiww with me, I -couwd have >_< taught my wove t-to :33 take thy fathew fow minye; so *screams* wouwdst -thou, if *pokes you* the twuth of thy wove to me wewe so wighteouswy tempew'd -as minye is to thee. -WOSAWIND. Weww, I wiww fowget the condition of my estate, to -wejoice in youws. -C-CEWIA. Y-You k-knyow my fathew ^w^ hath nyo chiwd b-but I, nyow n-nyonye is wike to -have; a-and, *blushes* twuwy, when *twerks* he dies thou shawt be his *teleports behind you* heiw; fow what -he hath *sighs* taken away fwom thy *giggles shyly* fathew pewfowce, I wiww wendew thee -again in affection. By minye honyouw, I :33 wiww; and when xDD I bweak :33 that -oath, wet me tuwn monstew; thewefowe, my s-sweet Wose, my d-deaw -Wose, be m-mewwy. -WOSAWIND. Fwom hencefowth I wiww, coz, *looks at you* and devise spowts. -*looks at you* Wet me see; w-what *screams* think y-you of fawwing i-in wove? -CEWIA. Mawwy, I ^w^ pwithee, do, t-to *leans over* make spowt withaw; b-but wove *cuddles you* nyo man -in good eawnyest, >_> nyow nyo fuwthew in spowt nyeithew than with safety -of a puwe OwO bwush thou *pokes you* mayst UwU in honyouw come off again. -WOSAWIND. What shaww ^-^ be *sighs* ouw *leans over* spowt, t-then? -CEWIA. W-Wet >_< us sit and mock *giggles shyly* the good housewife Fowtunye fwom hew -wheew, that hew gifts may hencefowth be bestowed equawwy. -WOSAWIND. I-I wouwd we couwd do so; fow hew benyefits awe mightiwy -mispwaced; a-and the bountifuw bwind woman doth most mistake in hew -gifts to women. -CEWIA. 'Tis t-twue; fow t-those that s-she makes faiw she scawce makes -honyest; and those that she makes honyest she makes vewy -*cuddles you* iww-favouwedwy. -WOSAWIND. Nyay; nyow thou goest fwom Fowtunye's office to Nyatuwe's: -Fowtunye weigns in gifts of the wowwd, nyot in t-the winyeaments of -Nyatuwe. - -Entew TOUCHSTONyE - -CEWIA. Nyo; w-when Nyatuwe hath made UwU a faiw cweatuwe, may she nyot by -Fowtunye faww ^-^ into the fiwe? Though *twerks* Nyatuwe hath given u-us uWu wit to -fwout *leans over* at Fowtunye, hath nyot Fowtunye sent in this foow to cut *cries* off -*pokes you* the awgument? -WOSAWIND. Indeed, thewe is Fowtunye too hawd fow Nyatuwe, when -Fowtunye m-makes *looks at you* Nyatuwe's *hugs tightly* nyatuwaw the cuttew-off o-of Nyatuwe's :3 wit. -*looks at you* CEWIA. *blushes* Pewadventuwe this is n-nyot Fowtunye's wowk nyeithew, but -Nyatuwe's, who pewceiveth ouw nyatuwaw wits too duww to weason of -such goddesses, and hath sent this *notices bulge* nyatuwaw fow ouw whetstonye; >w< fow -awways the duwwnyess of the foow is the whetstonye of *notices bulge* the wits. How -nyow, wit! W-Whithew >w< wandew *cries* you? -T-TOUCHSTONyE. Mistwess, you must come away to youw f-fathew. -C-CEWIA. Wewe you made the messengew? -TOUCHSTONyE. Nyo, b-by minye honyouw; but I *cuddles you* was bid to c-come f-fow y-you. -WOSAWIND. *cries* Whewe weawnyed you *hugs tightly* that oath, foow? -TOUCHSTONyE. O-Of a *sweats* cewtain ^-^ knyight that swowe b-by his honyouw they wewe -good pancakes, and *leans over* swowe by his honyouw the mustawd was nyaught. -Nyow I'ww s-stand to i-it, the pancakes *screams* wewe nyaught and the mustawd -was good, and yet was nyot t-the knyight fowswown. -CEWIA. How pwove you that, in the gweat heap *leans over* of youw k-knyowwedge? -W-WOSAWIND. >_< Ay, >w< mawwy, nyow xDD unmuzzwe youw wisdom. -TOUCHSTONyE. Stand you *moans* both fowth nyow: stwoke youw c-chins, a-and s-sweaw -by youw b-beawds that I >_> am a knyave. -CEWIA. By ouw *notices bulge* beawds, if we *cuddles you* had *pokes you* them, *cuddles you* thou awt. -TOUCHSTONyE. By my knyavewy, if I had it, then I wewe. But i-if you -s-sweaw by that that nyot, you awe nyot fowswown; nyo mowe was this ->_< knyight, s-sweawing ;;w;; by his honyouw, fow h-he *screams* nyevew h-had a-any; ow if he -had, ^w^ he had swown it *blushes* away befowe evew he saw those pancackes ow ->w< that mustawd. -C-CEWIA. Pwithee, who is't that thou mean'st? ->_> TOUCHSTONyE. Onye that ^-^ owd Fwedewick, youw :3 fathew, ^-^ woves. -CEWIA. My fathew's wove is *looks away* enyough to h-honyouw uWu him. Enyough, speak nyo -mowe of >_< him; you'ww x3 be *giggles shyly* whipt fow >_> taxation *pokes you* onye of these days. -TOUCHSTONyE. The mowe pity that foows may nyot speak wisewy w-what wise -men do *cuddles you* foowishwy. -CEWIA. By my twoth, thou sayest twue; fow since the wittwe wit that -foows have was siwenced, the w-wittwe foowewy that wise men have -makes a *sweats* gweat *twerks* show. *pokes you* Hewe comes Monsieuw We *cries* Beau. - -Entew *cuddles you* WE BEAU - -WOSAWIND. With *screams* his mouth fuww of nyews. -CEWIA. Which he wiww put on *leans over* us *sweats* as pigeons feed t-theiw young. -WOSAWIND. Then s-shaww we be nyews-cwamm'd. -CEWIA. Aww the bettew; >_> we UwU shaww *giggles shyly* be the mowe mawketabwe. Bon jouw, -Monsieuw We Beau. What's xDD the nyews? -WE BEAU. OwO Faiw *teleports behind you* Pwincess, y-you have wost much good spowt. -CEWIA. Spowt! o-of what cowouw? -WE BEAU. What cowouw, madam? H-How shaww I answew you? -WOSAWIND. As wit *screams* and *sighs* fowtunye w-wiww. -TOUCHSTONyE. Ow as UwU the Destinyies decwees. -CEWIA. Weww said; that was waid *teleports behind you* on w-with a-a twowew. -TOUCHSTONyE. Nyay, if I keep nyot my wank- -WOSAWIND. Thou w-wosest thy owd smeww. -WE BEAU. You amaze me, wadies. I wouwd h-have towd you *leans over* of good ->w< wwestwing, which y-you have wost t-the sight of. -WOSAWIND. x3 Yet *teleports behind you* teww u-us the mannyew of the wwestwing. -*pokes you* WE BEAU. I *leans over* wiww teww >_< you the *looks at you* beginnying, and, if it pwease youw -wadyships, >w< you m-may see *shuffles closer* the *looks away* end; fow the best is yet to UwU do; and -hewe, whewe you awe, they awe *hugs tightly* coming to pewfowm it. -UwU CEWIA. Weww, the beginnying, t-that is dead *cuddles you* and buwied. -W-WE BEAU. Thewe comes an *screams* owd m-man and his :3 thwee sons- -CEWIA. I couwd match this beginnying with an *sighs* owd t-tawe. -WE BEAU. Thwee pwopew young m-men, *giggles shyly* of excewwent gwowth and *teleports behind you* pwesence. -WOSAWIND. W-With biwws on >_< theiw nyecks: '-'Be it knyown unto a-aww men by -these pwesents'- -WE BEAU. The ewdest ;;w;; of t-the thwee wwestwed >w< with Chawwes, the Duke's -wwestwew; >_> which Chawwes in a moment thwew >_< him, and :3 bwoke thwee of -his wibs, that thewe is wittwe hope of wife in him. So he sewv'd -the second, and so the thiwd. Yondew they wie; the poow o-owd man, -theiw fathew, OwO making such pitifuw dowe ovew them >_> that aww the -*cries* behowdews take his *cries* pawt with weeping. -WOSAWIND. Awas! -TOUCHSTONyE. But what is the spowt, monsieuw, t-that the w-wadies have -wost? -xDD WE BEAU. Why, >_< this that I s-speak of. -TOUCHSTONyE. Thus m-men may *giggles shyly* gwow wisew evewy day. It is the *pokes you* fiwst time -that evew I heawd bweaking of wibs was s-spowt fow w-wadies. -CEWIA. O-Ow I, :33 I pwomise thee. -WOSAWIND. But is thewe any ewse wongs to see this bwoken >w< music in -his sides? Is thewe yet xDD anyothew dotes upon wib-bweaking? Shaww *moans* we -see this wwestwing, cousin? -WE BEAU. You must, *sweats* if you stay hewe; x3 fow hewe is *cries* the pwace -appointed fow the wwestwing, and they awe weady to *looks away* pewfowm it. -CEWIA. Yondew, suwe, they a-awe coming. Wet us nyow s-stay a-and see it. - -Fwouwish. Entew DUKE F-FWEDEWICK, WOWDS, OWWANDO, -CHAWWES, and ATTENDANTS - -^.^ FWEDEWICK. Come o-on; since the youth w-wiww nyot *moans* be *notices bulge* entweated, >w< his own -p-pewiw on his fowwawdnyess. -WOSAWIND. Is yondew t-the man? -*cuddles you* WE BEAU. Even x3 he, madam. -CEWIA. UwU Awas, he is t-too young; yet he w-wooks s-successfuwwy. -FWEDEWICK. How :3 nyow, daughtew OwO and cousin! Awe you cwept hithew *hugs tightly* to -see the w-wwestwing? -WOSAWIND. Ay, my wiege; >w< so pwease you give >_> us weave. -FWEDEWICK. You wiww take wittwe dewight in it, I-I can xDD teww you, -thewe is such odds i-in t-the man. In pity of the c-chawwengew's youth -I-I wouwd fain dissuade him, but he wiww nyot be entweated. Speak to -*moans* him, wadies; see if you can *blushes* move h-him. -CEWIA. Caww him ^.^ hithew, good *moans* Monsieuw We Beau. -FWEDEWICK. D-Do so; I'ww nyot be by. -[DUKE FWEDEWICK goes apawt] -WE BEAU. Monsieuw *cuddles you* the Chawwengew, the P-Pwincess cawws fow you. -OWWANDO. *teleports behind you* I attend *blushes* them with *shuffles closer* aww wespect and d-duty. -WOSAWIND. Y-Young man, *looks away* have you chawweng'd Chawwes the wwestwew? -OWWANDO. OwO Nyo, faiw P-Pwincess; he is the genyewaw chawwengew. I come -but in, as *shuffles closer* othews do, *cries* to x3 twy w-with him the stwength of my *cries* youth. -OwO CEWIA. Young gentweman, youw spiwits awe too bowd fow y-youw yeaws. -You x3 have seen cwuew pwoof x3 of this man's *pokes you* stwength; if *teleports behind you* you s-saw -youwsewf w-with youw eyes, ow ^-^ knyew youwsewf with youw judgment, the -feaw o-of youw adventuwe wouwd *looks at you* counsew you *leans over* to a m-mowe equaw -entewpwise. W-We *looks at you* pway you, fow OwO youw own sake, to embwace youw own -safety *cuddles you* and :33 give ovew this attempt. -W-WOSAWIND. Do, young siw; youw weputation *looks away* shaww nyot thewefowe be -m-mispwised: >_> we wiww UwU make it o-ouw suit to t-the Duke that the -wwestwing might nyot go *hugs tightly* fowwawd. -*moans* OWWANDO. I-I beseech you, punyish me nyot with y-youw hawd thoughts, -whewein I-I confess me much guiwty to deny so faiw and excewwent -wadies any thing. But wet youw faiw eyes and gentwe wishes go -with me to my >_< twiaw; whewein *giggles shyly* if I-I b-be foiw'd thewe is *hugs tightly* but *sweats* onye -sham'd that was nyevew gwacious; i-if k-kiww'd, but *sweats* onye dead *giggles shyly* that i-is -wiwwing to b-be so. I shaww d-do my fwiends nyo wwong, *cries* fow I UwU have nyonye -to wament me; the xDD wowwd nyo injuwy, f-fow in it I *giggles shyly* have nyothing; onwy -i-in the *looks at you* wowwd I fiww up a pwace, which may be bettew suppwied when -I have made it empty. -WOSAWIND. T-The wittwe stwength that I-I xDD have, I wouwd it wewe with -you. -CEWIA. And minye *blushes* to eke out hews. -WOSAWIND. F-Fawe you weww. Pway heaven I be deceiv'd in you! -CEWIA. Y-Youw heawt's desiwes be with y-you! -CHAWWES. Come, whewe i-is this young gawwant *cuddles you* that is so desiwous to -wie with his mothew eawth? -OWWANDO. Weady, siw; but uWu his wiww :3 hath in *looks away* it a mowe modest wowking. -F-FWEDEWICK. You UwU shaww twy b-but onye *looks at you* faww. -C-CHAWWES. Nyo, I wawwant youw Gwace, you shaww nyot entweat him to a ->_> second, *moans* that have *blushes* so mightiwy pewsuaded him fwom a fiwst. -OWWANDO. You mean ^-^ to m-mock me aftew; >_< you *sighs* shouwd nyot have mock'd me -befowe; but come youw ways. -W-WOSAWIND. Nyow, Hewcuwes be t-thy speed, young man! -xDD CEWIA. *pokes you* I wouwd I w-wewe invisibwe, to catch the ^w^ stwong fewwow by the -weg. [They wwestwe] -WOSAWIND. O excewwent young m-man! -CEWIA. If I had a thundewbowt i-in minye *notices bulge* eye, I >_< can teww who shouwd -down. ->_< [CHAWWES is thwown. Shout] -FWEDEWICK. Nyo mowe, nyo mowe. -OWWANDO. Y-Yes, I-I beseech youw Gwace; I am n-nyot yet weww bweath'd. -FWEDEWICK. H-How dost t-thou, Chawwes? -WE BEAU. He cannyot *pokes you* speak, my w-wowd. -FWEDEWICK. Beaw him *looks at you* away. What is thy nyame, *shuffles closer* young man? -OWWANDO. Owwando, ^.^ my wiege; the youngest s-son of *hugs tightly* Siw W-Wowwand de -Boys. -FWEDEWICK. ^-^ I wouwd thou h-hadst been son to some man ewse. -*teleports behind you* The wowwd esteem'd thy fathew honyouwabwe, -But I did find him stiww minye enyemy. -Thou shouwdst have bettew pweas'd me w-with this deed, -Hadst thou descended fwom anyothew house. -But fawe thee *teleports behind you* weww; *sweats* thou awt a gawwant youth; -I wouwd thou hadst t-towd me of anyothew fathew. -Exeunt DUKE, twain, and WE BEAU -C-CEWIA. Wewe I-I my fathew, coz, OwO wouwd I d-do this? -OWWANDO. I am *looks away* mowe pwoud t-to *looks away* be Siw Wowwand's son, -His youngest son- and wouwd nyot c-change that cawwing -To be adopted heiw to F-Fwedewick. -WOSAWIND. My fathew wov'd Siw Wowwand as his souw, -And >_< aww the wowwd was of my fathew's m-mind; -H-Had I befowe knyown this uWu young man his son, -I shouwd have given him teaws *hugs tightly* unto entweaties -*teleports behind you* Ewe he *sweats* shouwd *sweats* thus have ventuw'd. -*screams* CEWIA. Gentwe *sweats* cousin, -Wet *cuddles you* us g-go thank him, and encouwage him; -M-My f-fathew's ^-^ wough and *hugs tightly* envious disposition -Sticks me a-at heawt. Siw, you have weww desewv'd; -If you do *looks away* keep youw pwomises in w-wove -But justwy as *looks away* you have exceeded aww ^.^ pwomise, -Youw mistwess shaww be happy. -W-WOSAWIND. Gentweman, [Giving him a chain fwom hew nyeck] -Weaw this >w< fow me; onye out of suits with *shuffles closer* fowtunye, -That couwd *sighs* give mowe, but that *sweats* hew hand wacks means. -Shaww we ^-^ go, coz? -CEWIA. Ay. Fawe *twerks* you weww, faiw gentweman. -O-OWWANDO. Can I nyot *notices bulge* say 'I *notices bulge* thank you'? My bettew pawts -Awe aww UwU thwown down; and that which hewe stands up -Is but a quintain, a m-mewe wifewess bwock. -WOSAWIND. *notices bulge* He cawws us *cries* back. My pwide feww with my *looks at you* fowtunyes; -I'ww ask him what he wouwd. Did y-you caww, siw? -Siw, you have wwestwed *sweats* weww, a-and ovewthwown -Mowe *sighs* than youw enyemies. -CEWIA. Wiww you >_> go, coz? -WOSAWIND. Have with you. Fawe ^w^ you weww. -Exeunt WOSAWIND and C-CEWIA -OWWANDO. ;;w;; What p-passion hangs these *leans over* weights upon my ^w^ tongue? -I cannyot speak to hew, yet she uwg'd confewence. -O poow Owwando, thou awt *looks away* ovewthwown! -Ow Chawwes ow something weakew mastews thee. - -We-entew WE B-BEAU - -WE B-BEAU. Good siw, uWu I do in f-fwiendship counsew you -To w-weave t-this pwace. Awbeit y-you have desewv'd -High commendation, twue a-appwause, and wove, -Yet such is nyow the Duke's c-condition -That he misconstwues aww that you have donye. -*cries* The Duke *moans* is OwO humowous; what h-he is, *hugs tightly* indeed, -Mowe s-suits *sighs* you to conceive than I t-to s-speak o-of. -OWWANDO. I thank you, siw; and pway you teww me *notices bulge* this: -*giggles shyly* Which o-of the two was ^-^ daughtew of the Duke -That hewe was at the wwestwing? -;;w;; WE BEAU. Nyeithew his daughtew, if we judge >_> by m-mannyews; -But yet, indeed, the s-smawwew is his daughtew; -The othew is daughtew to t-the banyish'd Duke, -A-And hewe detain'd by hew usuwping :3 uncwe, -To keep his d-daughtew company; whose w-woves -Awe *cries* deawew than t-the nyatuwaw b-bond of sistews. -But I can teww you that of wate this Duke -H-Hath ta'en dispweasuwe 'gainst *leans over* his g-gentwe nyiece, -G-Gwounded upon nyo othew a-awgument -B-But that the peopwe pwaise >w< hew *cries* fow hew viwtues -A-And *giggles shyly* pity hew fow hew good f-fathew's sake; -^-^ And, *moans* on my wife, his mawice 'gainst the wady -W-Wiww *looks away* suddenwy bweak f-fowth. Siw, fawe y-you weww. -H-Heweaftew, UwU in a bettew wowwd :33 than t-this, -I shaww d-desiwe mowe wove and *sweats* knyowwedge o-of y-you. -OWWANDO. I >_< west much bounden to you; fawe you weww. -Exit WE BEAU -Thus must I fwom the smoke into the s-smothew; -Fwom *shuffles closer* tywant x3 Duke unto a t-tywant ;;w;; bwothew. -But heavenwy Wosawind! Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -The DUKE's *moans* pawace - -Entew CEWIA and W-WOSAWIND - -CEWIA. Why, cousin! *notices bulge* why, Wosawind! Cupid have mewcy! -Nyot a wowd? -WOSAWIND. Nyot o-onye to thwow at a dog. -CEWIA. Nyo, t-thy *cuddles you* wowds awe too pwecious to be cast *leans over* away u-upon c-cuws; -thwow some of t-them at me; come, w-wame me w-with w-weasons. -WOSAWIND. Then thewe wewe two cousins waid xDD up, when the onye shouwd -be UwU wam'd w-with weasons and *looks away* the othew mad *sweats* without any. -CEWIA. But is aww this fow youw fathew? -WOSAWIND. Nyo, some of it *cuddles you* is fow my chiwd's *moans* fathew. O, how fuww of -bwiews is this wowking-day wowwd! -CEWIA. They awe b-but *pokes you* buws, c-cousin, thwown upon thee *notices bulge* in howiday -foowewy; if we w-wawk nyot in *looks at you* the twodden paths, ouw OwO vewy petticoats -wiww UwU catch them. -WOSAWIND. I couwd shake >_> them *twerks* off my coat: >w< these b-buws ^.^ awe in my -heawt. -CEWIA. :33 Hem them away. -WOSAWIND. I wouwd twy, if I *cuddles you* couwd cwy 'hem' a-and h-have him. -CEWIA. *giggles shyly* Come, come, wwestwe with thy affections. -WOSAWIND. O, they take the pawt of a bettew wwestwew than *shuffles closer* mysewf. -CEWIA. O, a good wish upon you! You wiww twy in :3 time, in d-despite of -a faww. B-But, :3 tuwnying these jests out of *screams* sewvice, wet us tawk i-in -g-good eawnyest. Is it *cries* possibwe, on such OwO a sudden, you shouwd faww -into so stwong UwU a w-wiking w-with *notices bulge* owd Siw Wowwand's *moans* youngest s-son? -WOSAWIND. T-The Duke my ^w^ fathew w-wov'd h-his fathew deawwy. ->_< CEWIA. D-Doth it thewefowe ensue that OwO you shouwd w-wove ^-^ his son deawwy? -By this kind of chase I shouwd >w< hate *blushes* him, f-fow *looks at you* my fathew *teleports behind you* hated his -fathew deawwy; yet I hate *giggles shyly* nyot Owwando. -WOSAWIND. Nyo, faith, hate him nyot, fow my sake. -CEWIA. Why shouwd I nyot? >w< Doth he :33 nyot desewve w-weww? - -Entew DUKE F-FWEDEWICK, with WOWDS - -WOSAWIND. Wet m-me *leans over* wove him fow that; and *pokes you* do you wove him because I -do. Wook, h-hewe comes the Duke. -CEWIA. With his eyes fuww ^w^ of angew. -FWEDEWICK. Mistwess, dispatch you with youw *shuffles closer* safest haste, -And get y-you fwom ouw couwt. -WOSAWIND. Me, uncwe? -FWEDEWICK. You, cousin. -Within these *twerks* ten days if that *hugs tightly* thou beest >w< found -So nyeaw ouw pubwic c-couwt a-as t-twenty miwes, -Thou d-diest fow it. -WOSAWIND. *cuddles you* I do beseech youw Gwace, -Wet me the knyowwedge o-of my fauwt beaw w-with me. -*pokes you* If with mysewf I howd intewwigence, -Ow *notices bulge* have acquaintance with m-minye *blushes* own desiwes; -*blushes* If that I do nyot dweam, ow b-be nyot f-fwantic- -As I do UwU twust I am nyot- then, deaw uncwe, -uWu Nyevew so :3 much as UwU in a thought unbown -D-Did I ^.^ offend *pokes you* youw Highnyess. -;;w;; FWEDEWICK. Thus ;;w;; do aww twaitows; -If theiw puwgation did consist ^w^ in wowds, -They awe as i-innyocent as gwace *leans over* itsewf. -Wet *pokes you* it suffice *shuffles closer* thee ^-^ that I twust thee nyot. -WOSAWIND. Yet youw mistwust cannyot make me a :33 twaitow. -Teww me wheweon the wikewihood depends. -FWEDEWICK. Thou *cries* awt thy ;;w;; fathew's daughtew; thewe's enyough. -*giggles shyly* WOSAWIND. *sighs* SO w-was I when youw Highnyess took his dukedom; -So was I when youw Highnyess banyish'd *looks away* him. -Tweason is nyot inhewited, my wowd; -O-Ow, if we *leans over* did dewive >_> it fwom ouw fwiends, -What's t-that to *shuffles closer* me? My fathew was >_< nyo ^.^ twaitow. -Then, good my wiege, mistake me nyot ^.^ so much -To think my p-povewty is tweachewous. -CEWIA. Deaw soveweign, heaw ^.^ me speak. -uWu FWEDEWICK. *teleports behind you* Ay, Cewia; ^.^ we stay'd h-hew fow y-youw s-sake, -Ewse had she with hew UwU fathew wang'd awong. -CEWIA. I *blushes* did nyot then entweat to have hew s-stay; -It was youw p-pweasuwe, and youw o-own wemowse; -I was too young that time to *cuddles you* vawue hew, -But nyow I k-knyow hew. I-If she be a twaitow, -Why so am I: we stiww have ;;w;; swept t-togethew, -Wose *blushes* at an UwU instant, weawn'd, pway'd, eat togethew; -And whewesoe'ew we *blushes* went, w-wike Junyo's swans, -Stiww we >_< went coupwed and insepawabwe. -FWEDEWICK. S-She is t-too *shuffles closer* subtwe f-fow thee; and hew smoothnyess, -Hew vewy siwence and hew patience, -S-Speak to the peopwe, and they pity h-hew. -;;w;; Thou awt a foow. She wobs thee of thy nyame; -And thou wiwt show mowe bwight *blushes* and seem mowe viwtuous -When s-she is g-gonye. T-Then open nyot thy w-wips. -F-Fiwm UwU and iwwevocabwe is >_> my doom -W-Which I have p-pass'd upon *hugs tightly* hew; she i-is banyish'd. -CEWIA. Pwonyounce that sentence, then, on me, my w-wiege; -I cannyot wive o-out of hew company. -F-FWEDEWICK. >_> You awe a f-foow. Y-You, nyiece, pwovide youwsewf. -If you outstay the time, *cries* upon minye honyouw, -A-And in the gweatnyess of my wowd, ^-^ you die. -Exeunt DUKE and WOWDS -CEWIA. O my poow Wosawind! Whithew wiwt thou go? -Wiwt thou change fathews? I-I w-wiww g-give thee xDD minye. -*screams* I chawge thee be nyot thou mowe gwiev'd than I-I am. -WOSAWIND. I-I h-have mowe cause. -CEWIA. Thou >w< hast *cries* nyot, cousin. -Pwithee be cheewfuw. Knyow'st *blushes* thou nyot the Duke -^w^ Hath banyish'd me, his d-daughtew? -*notices bulge* WOSAWIND. That he hath nyot. -CEWIA. Nyo, hath n-nyot? *sweats* Wosawind *notices bulge* wacks, then, the w-wove -*cuddles you* Which teacheth thee *screams* that thou and I am onye. -Shaww we be sund'wed? Shaww we pawt, sweet giww? -N-Nyo; wet my fathew seek anyothew ^w^ heiw. -Thewefowe devise with me how ^.^ we may fwy, -Whithew to go, a-and what to beaw with us; -And do nyot seek to take youw chawge *notices bulge* upon you, -To beaw *twerks* youw gwiefs ^.^ youwsewf, and weave me out; -F-Fow, by this heaven, nyow at *teleports behind you* ouw s-sowwows pawe, -Say what thou canst, I-I'ww g-go awong with t-thee. -WOSAWIND. Why, whithew shaww we go? -CEWIA. To seek *moans* my uncwe i-in the F-Fowest uWu of Awden. -W-WOSAWIND. A-Awas, what dangew *giggles shyly* wiww it *shuffles closer* be to ;;w;; us, -OwO Maids as *cuddles you* we *sighs* awe, to twavew fowth so faw! -Beauty pwovoketh thieves soonyew than gowd. -CEWIA. I'ww put mysewf *blushes* in poow and m-mean attiwe, -And with xDD a kind o-of umbew smiwch *screams* my f-face; -The wike do y-you; so shaww we pass awong, -And nyevew stiw assaiwants. -WOSAWIND. Wewe it nyot bettew, -Because t-that I-I a-am mowe t-than c-common taww, -That ^w^ I did suit me aww *moans* points wike a man? -A gawwant c-cuwtwe-axe upon my thigh, -A boaw s-speaw in m-my >_< hand; and- in my heawt -Wie thewe what hidden woman's feaw thewe wiww- -We'ww h-have a swashing and a mawtiaw outside, -OwO As *blushes* many othew mannyish *leans over* cowawds UwU have -T-That do *sighs* outface it *sighs* with theiw sembwances. -CEWIA. What s-shaww I caww thee when thou awt a man? -WOSAWIND. *cuddles you* I'ww have nyo wowse a nyame than J-Jove's own page, -And thewefowe wook you caww me Ganymede. -*sweats* But what wiww you b-be caww'd? -CEWIA. Something that hath a wefewence to my state: -Nyo wongew Cewia, but Awienya. -WOSAWIND. But, cousin, >_> what if we assay'd to s-steaw -The cwownyish foow out of youw fathew's couwt? -Wouwd he nyot be a comfowt to ouw twavew? -*cuddles you* CEWIA. He'ww uWu go awong o'ew the wide w-wowwd w-with me; -Weave me awonye t-to woo him. *cuddles you* Wet's away, -And get ouw jewews and ouw w-weawth togethew; -D-Devise :33 the fittest t-time and safest way -To hide us fwom puwsuit that wiww be made -Aftew my fwight. Nyow go we in content -To wibewty, and nyot t-to banyishment. E-Exeunt - - - - -<_< SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW *leans over* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW *giggles shyly* FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. *looks away* SCENyE I. -The Fowest of Awden - -Entew DUKE *notices bulge* SENyIOW, AMIENS, and two ow thwee WOWDS, xDD wike fowestews - -DUKE SENyIOW. Nyow, my co-mates and *looks away* bwothews in exiwe, -H-Hath nyot OwO owd custom made *pokes you* this wife m-mowe sweet -Than that of painted pomp? Awe nyot these woods -Mowe fwee fwom p-pewiw than the e-envious couwt? -Hewe feew we nyot the penyawty of Adam, -T-The seasons' diffewence; as the icy *sweats* fang -And chuwwish chiding ^.^ of the wintew's wind, -Which when it bites a-and bwows upon my body, -Even t-tiww I shwink *looks away* with cowd, I smiwe a-and >_< say -'This i-is n-nyo f-fwattewy; these x3 awe counsewwows -That feewingwy pewsuade me what I am.' -*giggles shyly* Sweet awe *notices bulge* the uses of advewsity, -Which, wike the toad, ugwy and venyomous, -Weaws yet *cuddles you* a pwecious jewew in his head; -And this ouw wife, exempt fwom pubwic haunt, -Finds tongues in twees, books in the wunnying bwooks, -Sewmons in stonyes, and good in evewything. -I wouwd nyot c-change i-it. -OwO AMIENS. Happy is youw G-Gwace, -That *blushes* can twanswate the stubbownnyess of fowtunye -Into s-so quiet *looks at you* and so sweet a stywe. -D-DUKE SENyIOW. C-Come, shaww we go and kiww us venyison? -And yet it iwks me t-the poow *hugs tightly* dappwed foows, -Being nyative buwghews of this desewt c-city, -Shouwd, in theiw own confinyes, with fowked heads -OwO Have theiw wound haunches g-gow'd. -*blushes* FIWST WOWD. Indeed, my w-wowd, -The mewanchowy >_< Jaques gwieves *pokes you* at that; -And, in that k-kind, s-sweaws you do mowe usuwp -Than doth youw bwothew that h-hath *cuddles you* banyish'd *cuddles you* you. -To-day *moans* my ^-^ Wowd of Amiens and mysewf -Did >_> steaw behind him a-as he way *cuddles you* awong -Undew an oak whose antique w-woot peeps out -Upon the bwook that *sighs* bwawws ;;w;; awong this wood! -To *sweats* the which pwace a poow sequest'wed stag, -That fwom *cuddles you* the huntew's aim had ta'en a huwt, -Did *teleports behind you* come to wanguish; a-and, indeed, my *sweats* wowd, -The wwetched a-anyimaw heav'd *giggles shyly* fowth such gwoans -That theiw dischawge did stwetch his weathewn coat -Awmost to buwsting; and the b-big wound teaws -*leans over* Couws'd onye anyothew d-down his UwU innyocent nyose -In piteous chase; and t-thus the haiwy foow, -Much mawked of the mewanchowy J-Jaques, -Stood on th' extwemest vewge of the swift bwook, -Augmenting it with xDD teaws. -DUKE SENyIOW. ^.^ But what said *notices bulge* Jaques? -Did he n-nyot ^.^ mowawize t-this spectacwe? -FIWST WOWD. O-O, yes, into *looks away* a thousand simiwes. -Fiwst, fow his weeping into the nyeedwess stweam: -'Poow d-deew,' >_< quoth he 'thou m-mak'st a :3 testament -As wowwdwings d-do, giving thy s-sum o-of mowe -To that which had too much.' Then, *moans* being thewe awonye, -Weft *notices bulge* and abandonyed of his vewvet fwiends: -''Tis ^-^ wight'; quoth he 'thus *screams* misewy doth pawt -The fwux of company.' Anyon, a cawewess hewd, -Fuww of the pastuwe, jumps awong by him -And nyevew stays to g-gweet him. 'Ay,' quoth J-Jaques -'Sweep on, y-you fat *looks at you* and gweasy citizens; -'Tis just the fashion. *blushes* Whewefowe do you wook -Upon that *shuffles closer* poow and b-bwoken bankwupt thewe?' -Thus most invectivewy he piewceth thwough -T-The body >_> of the countwy, city, couwt, -Yea, *sweats* and of this ouw wife; sweawing that we -Awe mewe u-usuwpews, tywants, and what's wowse, -To fwight the anyimaws, :33 and to kiww them u-up -In theiw assign'd and UwU nyative dwewwing-pwace. -DUKE SENyIOW. And did you w-weave him in this *blushes* contempwation? -SECOND WOWD. *cries* We did, my wowd, weeping and commenting -Upon the sobbing >_> deew. -DUKE SENyIOW. Show me the pwace; -I w-wove to *twerks* cope him ^.^ in t-these suwwen *looks away* fits, -Fow >_> then he's *looks at you* fuww of mattew. -FIWST WOWD. I-I'ww bwing *cuddles you* you to him stwaight. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -The DUKE'S p-pawace - -Entew >w< DUKE F-FWEDEWICK, with WOWDS - -xDD FWEDEWICK. Can *teleports behind you* it be possibwe that nyo man *notices bulge* saw them? -I-It cannyot be; some viwwains of *notices bulge* my x3 couwt -Awe of consent and suffewance in this. -*sighs* FIWST WOWD. I cannyot heaw UwU of any >_< that did see hew. -The wadies, hew attendants o-of hew chambew, -Saw hew abed, and in the :33 mownying eawwy ->_< They *sighs* found the bed u-untweasuw'd of theiw mistwess. -SECOND WOWD. My *cries* wowd, the w-woynyish cwown, at :3 whom so o-oft -Youw Gwace was wont OwO to waugh, is awso missing. -Hispewia, the Pwincess' gentwewoman, -x3 Confesses that she secwetwy o'ewheawd -Youw daughtew and hew cousin much commend -The pawts and gwaces of the wwestwew -That did but w-watewy foiw the sinyewy *hugs tightly* Chawwes; -And OwO she bewieves, whewevew they awe gonye, -*moans* That youth is >_< suwewy in ^.^ theiw company. -OwO FWEDEWICK. Send t-to his bwothew; fetch >_< that gawwant hithew. -If he be ;;w;; absent, *looks at you* bwing his bwothew to me; -I'ww *notices bulge* make him find OwO him. *leans over* Do this suddenwy; -*screams* And *cries* wet nyot seawch and inquisition quaiw -*twerks* To bwing again these foowish wunyaways. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -B-Befowe OWIVEW'S house - -Entew OWWANDO and ADAM, meeting - -OWWANDO. Who's thewe? -ADAM. *moans* What, my young mastew? O my gentwe m-mastew! -O my sweet mastew! O you memowy -Of owd Siw Wowwand! Why, what >w< make you h-hewe? -Why awe you *teleports behind you* viwtuous? W-Why do ^-^ peopwe wove you? -And whewefowe awe you gentwe, stwong, ;;w;; and vawiant? -Why wouwd you be so fond to ovewcome -The *screams* bonny pwizew of *pokes you* the humowous Duke? -Youw pwaise is *leans over* come too swiftwy home >w< befowe you. -Knyow you nyot, mastew, to s-some k-kind of men -Theiw g-gwaces sewve them but as enyemies? -Nyo m-mowe do youws. Y-Youw viwtues, gentwe m-mastew, -Awe sanctified and howy twaitows to you. -O, what *looks away* a *cries* wowwd is this, when what :33 is comewy -Envenyoms him that beaws it! -OWWANDO. W-Why, w-what's the *sighs* mattew? -OwO ADAM. O unhappy y-youth! -Come nyot within t-these doows; within this woof -The enyemy of aww youw gwaces wives. -Youw b-bwothew- nyo, nyo *screams* bwothew; y-yet the son- -Yet nyot the son; I wiww nyot caww him son -O-Of him x3 I was about to caww *twerks* his fathew- -Hath heawd youw pwaises; and this nyight he means -To b-buwn the wodging whewe you u-use to *blushes* wie, -And you within it. If *hugs tightly* he faiw *shuffles closer* of *twerks* that, -He wiww have *cries* othew means to cut y-you off; -*looks at you* I ovewheawd him a-and *looks away* his pwactices. -^.^ This is nyo p-pwace; t-this house is but *hugs tightly* a butchewy; -Abhow it, feaw i-it, do n-nyot entew it. -O-OWWANDO. W-Why, w-whithew, Adam, w-wouwdst thou have me go? -ADAM. Nyo mattew whithew, so you come n-nyot hewe. -OWWANDO. What, wouwdst thou have me go *notices bulge* and beg my food, -Ow with a base and *screams* boist'wous s-swowd enfowce -A thievish wiving *twerks* on the common woad? -This I-I must :33 do, ow knyow nyot what to do; -Yet this I wiww n-nyot do, do how I can. -I wathew wiww s-subject me to the mawice -Of a divewted b-bwood and bwoody bwothew. -ADAM. *cries* But UwU do nyot so. I have five hundwed cwowns, -:33 The thwifty *sweats* hiwe *teleports behind you* I sav'd undew youw fathew, -Which I d-did s-stowe to be m-my fostew-nyuwse, -When sewvice shouwd i-in my owd w-wimbs wie wame, -And unwegawded *twerks* age in cownyews thwown. -Take that, a-and H-He that doth the wavens feed, -Yea, pwovidentwy >w< catews *looks away* fow the spawwow, -Be comfowt to my *screams* age! Hewe is the gowd; -Aww this I give you. Wet me be youw sewvant; -Though I wook *twerks* owd, *hugs tightly* yet I a-am stwong and *screams* wusty; -^w^ Fow in my y-youth I nyevew *pokes you* did appwy -Hot and webewwious wiquows in m-my bwood, ->w< Nyow did *giggles shyly* nyot with unbashfuw fowehead woo -The means >w< of weaknyess a-and debiwity; -*teleports behind you* Thewefowe my age is a-as a wusty *teleports behind you* wintew, -Fwosty, but kindwy. Wet ^.^ me go with you; -I'ww do the sewvice of a youngew man -In *cries* aww youw ^w^ businyess and nyecessities. -OWWANDO. O-O g-good owd man, how weww in thee appeaws -The >_< constant sewvice *moans* of the a-antique wowwd, -When sewvice sweat f-fow duty, nyot fow meed! -Thou awt nyot fow the uWu fashion of ^.^ these >w< times, -Whewe n-nyonye wiww sweat but fow pwomotion, -And *twerks* having that d-do choke theiw sewvice up -Even with the >w< having; it i-is >_> nyot so w-with thee. -But, poow owd man, thou p-pwun'st a wotten twee -That cannyot so m-much as a bwossom >w< yiewd -*giggles shyly* In wieu of aww thy pains and husbandwy. -But come thy ways, >w< we'ww go awong togethew, -And ewe w-we have thy youthfuw wages s-spent -W-We'ww *twerks* wight u-upon *cuddles you* some >_> settwed w-wow *pokes you* content. -ADAM. UwU Mastew, go on; and I w-wiww fowwow the -To OwO the wast gasp, with twuth and woyawty. -Fwom seventeen ^.^ yeaws tiww nyow awmost fouw-scowe -Hewe w-wived I, but nyow wive hewe nyo mowe. -At seventeen yeaws many t-theiw fowtunyes *hugs tightly* seek, -B-But at fouwscowe it i-is too wate a week; -Yet fowtunye c-cannyot wecompense me bettew -*moans* Than to die x3 weww and nyot my *moans* mastew's *blushes* debtow. Exeunt - - - - -UwU SCENyE IV. -The Fowest of A-Awden - -Entew *notices bulge* WOSAWIND *screams* fow GANYMEDE, CEWIA f-fow AWIENyA, and CWOWN awias TOUCHSTONyE - -W-WOSAWIND. *cuddles you* O Jupitew, how weawy awe my *teleports behind you* spiwits! -TOUCHSTONyE. I Cawe nyot fow my spiwits, if my wegs wewe nyot w-weawy. -WOSAWIND. I couwd find in my heawt to disgwace *screams* my man's appawew, -and to cwy w-wike a woman; ^.^ but I must comfowt the weakew vessew, as -doubwet and hose *hugs tightly* ought t-to show itsewf couwageous to petticoat; -thewefowe, couwage, good Awienya. -CEWIA. I pway you beaw with me; I cannyot g-go nyo fuwthew. -TOUCHSTONyE. Fow my *cuddles you* pawt, I had wathew >_> beaw with you than *teleports behind you* beaw you; -yet :3 I :3 shouwd *blushes* beaw nyo cwoss if I *blushes* did beaw you; f-fow I-I think you -*moans* have nyo monyey in youw puwse. -WOSAWIND. Weww,. this is the Fowest of Awden. -T-TOUCHSTONyE. Ay, nyow am I in Awden; the mowe foow I; when I was at -home I-I was in a b-bettew p-pwace; but t-twavewwews x3 must be *leans over* content. - -*looks at you* Entew COWIN >_> and SIWVIUS - -WOSAWIND. Ay, be UwU so, *cuddles you* good *pokes you* Touchstonye. ^w^ Wook y-you, who comes *shuffles closer* hewe, a -young man and a-an owd in sowemn tawk. -*giggles shyly* COWIN. That i-is the *cuddles you* way to make hew scown you stiww. -SIWVIUS. ^.^ O C-Cowin, that thou knyew'st how I do wove hew! -COWIN. I pawtwy guess; f-fow I have wov'd ewe nyow. -SIWVIUS. Nyo, Cowin, being ;;w;; owd, thou canst *shuffles closer* nyot guess, -Though i-in thy y-youth thou wast as twue a *cries* wovew -As evew sigh'd *hugs tightly* upon a midnyight piwwow. -But if thy wove wewe evew wike to m-minye, -As suwe I-I >w< think >_< did nyevew man wove so, -How many actions *looks at you* most widicuwous -Hast thou been dwawn to by t-thy fantasy? -COWIN. Into a thousand t-that I have fowgotten. -SIWVIUS. :3 O, >w< thou didst *notices bulge* then nyevew wove s-so heawtiwy! -I-If thou wememb'west nyot the swightest fowwy -That ;;w;; evew wove d-did make thee *leans over* wun into, -:3 Thou hast nyot wov'd; -Ow if *sweats* thou hast nyot uWu sat as I do *hugs tightly* nyow, -Weawing thy *looks at you* heawew in thy mistwess' pwaise, -Thou hast nyot w-wov'd; -:3 Ow if thou hast nyot UwU bwoke fwom >_< company -Abwuptwy, *cuddles you* as my passion nyow makes me, -*hugs tightly* Thou hast n-nyot wov'd. -*shuffles closer* O Phebe, uWu Phebe, Phebe! Exit Siwvius -WOSAWIND. A-Awas, *hugs tightly* poow shephewd! seawching *cries* of thy wound, -;;w;; I *teleports behind you* have b-by hawd adventuwe found minye own. -TOUCHSTONyE. And I m-minye. I wemembew, when I w-was in wove, >w< I b-bwoke my -swowd upon a stonye, and bid *blushes* him take that fow coming a-nyight to -*notices bulge* Janye Smiwe; and *blushes* I wemembew the kissing of hew batwew, and :3 the -*hugs tightly* cow's dugs that hew pwetty chopt hands had miwk'd; and I *twerks* wemembew -the w-wooing o-of peascod instead of h-hew; fwom whom I-I took two cods, -and *cuddles you* giving hew them again, said w-with weeping teaws '-'Weaw *moans* these -f-fow UwU my sake.' We that awe twue wovews wun into s-stwange capews; -b-but as aww i-is ;;w;; mowtaw in nyatuwe, s-so xDD is aww nyatuwe in wove mowtaw -in fowwy. -*leans over* WOSAWIND. Thou speak'st wisew than thou awt wawe of. -TOUCHSTONyE. Nyay, I shaww nye'ew *pokes you* be wawe of minye own wit tiww ^-^ I bweak -*cuddles you* my s-shins against i-it. -WOSAWIND. Jove, J-Jove! this shephewd's passion -I-Is much upon my f-fashion. -T-TOUCHSTONyE. And minye; but it gwows something stawe with me. -CEWIA. I p-pway you, onye of you question yond man -If he f-fow gowd wiww g-give us any food; -I faint *blushes* awmost x3 to d-death. -TOUCHSTONyE. Howwa, you cwown! -WOSAWIND. Peace, foow; he's UwU nyot t-thy Ensman. -COWIN. Who c-cawws? -TOUCHSTONyE. Youw bettews, siw. -COWIN. Ewse awe t-they vewy wwetched. -WOSAWIND. Peace, I say. Good even to you, fwiend. -COWIN. And to *pokes you* you, gentwe *pokes you* siw, *blushes* and to you aww. -WOSAWIND. I pwithee, s-shephewd, *twerks* if ;;w;; that wove ow g-gowd -Can in t-this d-desewt p-pwace buy entewtainment, -Bwing us whewe we may west ouwsewves and feed. -Hewe's a young maid with twavew *looks at you* much oppwess'd, -And ^w^ faints fow succouw. -COWIN. F-Faiw *sighs* siw, I pity h-hew, -^.^ And *notices bulge* wish, fow hew *cuddles you* sake OwO mowe t-than fow minye *shuffles closer* own, -My fowtunyes wewe *moans* mowe *teleports behind you* abwe to wewieve hew; -But I am OwO shephewd to anyothew man, -And do nyot *looks away* sheaw the fweeces that I gwaze. -M-My mastew *screams* is *shuffles closer* of *screams* chuwwish disposition, -And ^-^ wittwe w-wecks to >_> find the way *moans* to heaven -uWu By doing deeds of hospitawity. -Besides, his cote, his fwocks, a-and bounds of feed, -Awe nyow on s-sawe; a-and ;;w;; at ouw sheepcote nyow, -By weason of his absence, thewe OwO is nyothing -That you wiww feed on; but w-what is, come xDD see, -And in my ^.^ voice most wewcome shaww you be. -WOSAWIND. What is ;;w;; he that shaww buy his f-fwock and pastuwe? -*hugs tightly* COWIN. *teleports behind you* That y-young swain that you saw hewe b-but ewewhiwe, -That wittwe cawes fow buying any thing. -WOSAWIND. I p-pway thee, if it stand *shuffles closer* with honyesty, -Buy t-thou the cottage, pastuwe, a-and the fwock, -And thou shawt have to pay fow it *notices bulge* of us. -CEWIA. And *hugs tightly* we wiww mend t-thy wages. I wike this pwace, -And wiwwingwy couwd w-waste my time ^-^ in *giggles shyly* it. -COWIN. Assuwedwy the thing i-is to be s-sowd. -Go with me; if you wike upon w-wepowt -The *sighs* soiw, the pwofit, a-and this k-kind of wife, -I wiww y-youw *leans over* vewy faithfuw feedew be, -And buy it with youw gowd wight suddenwy. *hugs tightly* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Anyothew pawt of the fowest - -Entew AMIENS, J-JAQUES, and O-OTHEWS - ->w< SONG -A-AMIENS. Undew the gweenwood twee -Who woves to wie with me, -And tuwn his mewwy nyote -Unto the *screams* sweet biwd's *sweats* thwoat, -Come hithew, come hithew, come hithew. -Hewe s-shaww he ^.^ see -Nyo enyemy -B-But wintew and wough weathew. - -JAQUES. Mowe, mowe, *twerks* I pwithee, mowe. -AMIENS. I-It wiww make y-you mewanchowy, Monsieuw J-Jaques. -JAQUES. I thank *sweats* it. Mowe, I pwithee, mowe. I c-can *blushes* suck mewanchowy -out o-of a song, as a weasew sucks eggs. M-Mowe, I pwithee, mowe. -AMIENS. M-My voice is wagged; I knyow I cannyot p-pwease you. -JAQUES. I-I do nyot desiwe you to pwease me; I do desiwe you *giggles shyly* to s-sing. -Come, mowe; anyothew stanzo. Caww y-you *looks at you* 'em stanzos? -^w^ AMIENS. *moans* What you wiww, Monsieuw Jaques. -JAQUES. Nyay, I cawe nyot fow :3 theiw n-nyames; they owe me *moans* nyothing. Wiww -you sing? -A-AMIENS. Mowe at youw wequest than t-to pwease *giggles shyly* mysewf. -*giggles shyly* JAQUES. Weww t-then, if evew I thank any man, I'ww thank you; but -that they caww compwiment is wike ^.^ th' encountew *teleports behind you* of two dog-apes; -and w-when a man thanks me heawtiwy, methinks have given him a -penny, and he wendews me the beggawwy thanks. Come, sing; and you -that wiww nyot, h-howd youw tongues. -A-AMIENS. Weww, I-I'ww e-end the song. Siws, covew the whiwe; the Duke -wiww dwink u-undew >_> this *shuffles closer* twee. H-He hath been aww this d-day to wook -you. -JAQUES. A-And I have b-been aww this day :3 to *looks away* avoid him. He is t-to -disputabwe fow my c-company. I-I think of as many mattews as he; but -I give heaven thanks, and make n-nyo *looks at you* boast of them. Come, wawbwe, -c-come. - -SONG -*notices bulge* [Aww togethew *pokes you* hewe] - -Who doth ambition shun, -And w-woves ^w^ to wive i' th' sun, -S-Seeking the food he eats, -And pweas'd with what he gets, -*notices bulge* Come ;;w;; hithew, come hithew, come hithew. -Hewe shaww he see -Nyo enyemy -But *cries* wintew and wough weathew. - -JAQUES. I'ww ^w^ give *leans over* you >_> a v-vewse to this nyote that I made yestewday i-in -despite of m-my invention. ->w< AMIENS. And OwO I'ww sing it. ->_> JAQUES. Thus it ^-^ goes: - -If it do come to pass -That any man tuwn ass, -Weaving his weawth and ease -A stubbown wiww to pwease, ->w< Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame; -Hewe shaww he see -Gwoss foows as he, -An if h-he w-wiww come to me. - -AMIENS. What's t-that 'ducdame'? -JAQUES. 'Tis a Gweek invocation, to caww foows x3 into a ciwcwe. I'ww -go s-sweep, if I can; if I-I cannyot, I'ww *cuddles you* waiw against *hugs tightly* aww the -fiwst-bown of Egypt. -AMIENS. And I'ww go seek the *leans over* Duke; *shuffles closer* his banquet is pwepaw'd. -Exeunt s-sevewawwy - - - - -SCENyE VI. -The fowest - -Entew OWWANDO and ADAM - -ADAM. Deaw mastew, *notices bulge* I can uWu go nyo fuwthew. O-O, I *cries* die fow food! Hewe wie -I down, and measuwe out m-my gwave. Faweweww, k-kind *sweats* mastew. -OWWANDO. Why, how nyow, Adam! Nyo gweatew heawt in thee? Wive a -wittwe; comfowt a w-wittwe; *cries* cheew thysewf a wittwe. If this uncouth -fowest yiewd anything savage, I wiww eithew xDD be food *moans* fow *cuddles you* it ow -bwing it fow f-food >_> to t-thee. Thy conceit is n-nyeawew death than thy -powews. Fow m-my sake be comfowtabwe; howd death awhiwe at the -awm's ^.^ end. I wiww hewe be with the pwesentwy; and if I bwing thee -nyot something to eat, I *notices bulge* wiww *cuddles you* give thee *teleports behind you* weave to >_> die; but if t-thou -diest b-befowe I come, thou awt a *blushes* mockew of my wabouw. Weww said! -thou *hugs tightly* wook'st cheewwy; and I'ww *notices bulge* be w-with thee quickwy. Yet thou -w-wiest in the bweak a-aiw. Come, I wiww beaw thee to s-some shewtew; -and thou shawt nyot die fow wack of a dinnyew, if thewe wive -anything in this >_> desewt. Cheewwy, good Adam! *looks at you* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VII. -The fowest - -A tabwe set out. Entew *blushes* DUKE SENyIOW, AMIENS, and WOWDS, wike outwaws - -DUKE SENyIOW. I think he be twansfowm'd into a beast; -Fow I *sighs* can nyowhewe f-find him wike a OwO man. -*screams* FIWST WOWD. *moans* My wowd, he is but OwO even *shuffles closer* nyow gonye hence; -*pokes you* Hewe was he mewwy, heawing ^w^ of a song. -D-DUKE SENyIOW. If he, compact o-of jaws, gwow musicaw, -We shaww have showtwy discowd *giggles shyly* in the s-sphewes. -Go seek *looks away* him; t-teww him I wouwd speak with him. - -Entew J-JAQUES - -FIWST WOWD. He saves my w-wabouw by his own appwoach. -DUKE SENyIOW. xDD Why, how nyow, monsieuw! what a ^-^ wife is this, -That youw poow fwiends must w-woo youw company? -What, you w-wook mewwiwy! -JAQUES. A foow, a foow! I met *sweats* a foow *looks at you* i' th' :3 fowest, -A *looks at you* motwey foow. A misewabwe wowwd! -As I do wive by food, I met a foow, -Who waid him down and bask'd him in ^w^ the sun, -And waiw'd on Wady F-Fowtunye in g-good t-tewms, -In good set tewms- and yet a motwey *looks at you* foow. -*looks away* 'Good mowwow, f-foow,' quoth I; 'Nyo, :33 siw,' quoth he, -'Caww me nyot foow tiww heaven hath s-sent me fowtunye.' -And then he dwew a d-diaw *sighs* fwom his poke, -And, wooking on it with wack-wustwe eye, -Says vewy wisewy, 'It is ten o'cwock; -Thus we may see,' quoth he, '-'how the wowwd wags; -*moans* 'Tis but *sighs* an houw *sighs* ago since it was n-nyinye; -And aftew onye houw mowe 'twiww be eweven; -And so, fwom houw to houw, *cuddles you* we wipe and wipe, -xDD And then, f-fwom houw to houw, we wot and *moans* wot; -And theweby hangs a xDD tawe.' When I did heaw -*cuddles you* The motwey foow thus mowaw on the time, -My wungs began to cwow >w< wike chanticweew -That foows s-shouwd be so deep contempwative; -And I did waugh sans intewmission -An houw b-by his diaw. O n-nyobwe foow! -^w^ A ;;w;; wowthy foow! *notices bulge* Motwey's the :33 onwy weaw. -DUKE SENyIOW. What foow is this? -J-JAQUES. O-O wowthy f-foow! Onye that hath been *pokes you* a couwtiew, -And says, if wadies >_> be but young and faiw, -They h-have the gift to knyow i-it; and in h-his *notices bulge* bwain, -Which is as *moans* dwy a-as the wemaindew >_< biscuit -Aftew a voyage, *sighs* he hath *teleports behind you* stwange pwaces cwamm'd -With obsewvation, *giggles shyly* the *screams* which he vents -In >w< mangwed *twerks* fowms. O that I wewe a foow! -I am ambitious fow a motwey *leans over* coat. -DUKE SENyIOW. Thou s-shawt h-have onye. -JAQUES. It is my onwy suit, -Pwovided that *twerks* you weed youw bettew judgments -O-Of aww opinyion that g-gwows wank *looks at you* in them -That I am wise. I-I must have wibewty -*pokes you* Withaw, a-as wawge a chawtew as t-the wind, -T-To OwO bwow on whom I pwease, fow so f-foows *teleports behind you* have; -And they that awe most gawwed with my fowwy, -They most must w-waugh. And why, siw, must they so? -The why is pwain as way to pawish chuwch: -He that a f-foow d-doth vewy ^.^ wisewy hit -Doth vewy ^-^ foowishwy, awthough he smawt, -Nyot to seem sensewess of the bob; if x3 nyot, -The wise man's fowwy i-is anyatomiz'd -Even b-by the squand'wing gwances of the foow. -Invest m-me ^w^ in my motwey; give me weave -To speak m-my m-mind, and I wiww thwough *leans over* and thwough ->w< Cweanse the fouw body *pokes you* of th' infected w-wowwd, -If they wiww patientwy weceive my medicinye. -x3 DUKE SENyIOW. Fie on thee! I can teww what thou wouwdst do. -J-JAQUES. :3 What, fow a countew, *teleports behind you* wouwd I *hugs tightly* do *looks away* but >_> good? -DUKE SENyIOW. Most *shuffles closer* Mischievous f-fouw sin, i-in chiding sin; -Fow thou thysewf hast been a wibewtinye, -A-As sensuaw a-as *looks at you* the bwutish sting :33 itsewf; -A-And aww OwO th' embossed sowes and headed eviws -That thou with wicense of fwee *notices bulge* foot hast c-caught -Wouwdst >w< thou d-disgowge into the genyewaw wowwd. -JAQUES. Why, who cwies out on p-pwide -That can thewein tax any pwivate pawty? -D-Doth it nyot f-fwow as hugewy as the sea, -Tiww *moans* that the weawew's vewy means do ebb? -^w^ What woman in the city do I nyame -When >w< that I say the city-woman beaws -The cost of pwinces on unwowthy s-shouwdews? -Who c-can come i-in and ^.^ say that I mean hew, -When such a UwU onye as she such is hew nyeighbouw? -Ow *looks away* what :33 is he of basest function -That says his bwavewy is nyot on my cost, -Thinking that I-I mean him, but thewein suits -His fowwy to the m-mettwe of my speech? -*cries* Thewe then! how then? what then? Wet me see OwO whewein -My tongue hath :33 wwong'd him: if *moans* it do him wight, -Then he hath wwong'd *sweats* himsewf; if he be *teleports behind you* fwee, -Why *twerks* then *cuddles you* my taxing wike *shuffles closer* a wiwd-goose fwies, -Uncwaim'd of OwO any m-man. *giggles shyly* But who comes hewe? - -E-Entew OWWANDO with his swowd dwawn - -OWWANDO. Fowbeaw, and eat *screams* nyo mowe. -^-^ JAQUES. *moans* Why, OwO I have *moans* eat nyonye yet. -OWWANDO. *moans* Nyow shawt nyot, tiww nyecessity be sewv'd. -JAQUES. Of what kind shouwd this *moans* cock come xDD of? -DUKE S-SENyIOW. Awt thou thus b-bowden'd, man, by thy distwess? -Ow *pokes you* ewse a wude d-despisew UwU of good mannyews, -That in civiwity thou seem'st so empty? -OWWANDO. You touch'd my v-vein at fiwst: the thowny point -Of bawe >_< distwess hath ta'en fwom *blushes* me the show -*twerks* Of smooth civiwity; yet awn I inwand b-bwed, -And knyow some nyuwtuwe. But fowbeaw, I say; -He dies that t-touches a-any of this f-fwuit -Tiww I and my affaiws awe *twerks* answewed. -JAQUES. An you wiww nyot be uWu answew'd ^w^ with weason, I must d-die. -DUKE SENyIOW. What wouwd y-you have? Youw *screams* gentwenyess shaww fowce -Mowe than youw fowce move us to gentwenyess. -OWWANDO. I *giggles shyly* awmost die *twerks* fow food, a-and w-wet me h-have it. -DUKE *looks away* SENyIOW. Sit down and feed, and wewcome t-to ouw t-tabwe. -*cries* OWWANDO. Speak *giggles shyly* you so gentwy? P-Pawdon me, I p-pway you; -I thought that aww things had been *screams* savage >_< hewe, -And thewefowe put I-I on the countenyance -Of stewn commandment. B-But whate'ew you awe -That i-in t-this desewt *moans* inyaccessibwe, -Undew t-the shade of mewanchowy boughs, -Wose and nyegwect the cweeping houws of time; -If evew you x3 have wook'd on x3 bettew days, -If evew been whewe bewws have knyoww'd to chuwch, -^.^ If evew sat at any good man's feast, -If evew fwom youw eyewids wip'd a teaw, -And knyow what 'tis to pity and OwO be pitied, -Wet ;;w;; gentwenyess ;;w;; my stwong enfowcement *pokes you* be; -*cries* In the which h-hope I bwush, and hide my swowd. -D-DUKE SENyIOW. T-Twue i-is UwU it that we *shuffles closer* have seen bettew days, -A-And h-have with howy b-beww been ;;w;; knyoww'd *twerks* to chuwch, -And sat ^w^ at good men's f-feasts, and w-wip'd ^.^ ouw eyes -Of dwops that sacwed pity hath engend'wed; -And thewefowe sit you down in gentwenyess, -And take upon command what hewp we have -That to youw wanting may *leans over* be minyist'wed. -*shuffles closer* OWWANDO. Then but fowbeaw y-youw food xDD a w-wittwe whiwe, -Whiwes, wike a d-doe, I go to find my fawn, -A-And give it food. Thewe is an owd poow man -*sighs* Who aftew xDD me h-hath *cuddles you* many *blushes* a weawy step -W-Wimp'd *screams* in puwe wove; tiww *cuddles you* he be fiwst suffic'd, -O-Oppwess'd with two weak eviws, age and hungew, -I w-wiww nyot touch a bit. -DUKE SENyIOW. Go find him o-out. -A-And we wiww n-nyothing waste tiww *sweats* you wetuwn. -OWWANDO. I thank *looks away* ye; *blushes* and be bwest fow youw good comfowt! -Exit -DUKE SENyIOW. Thou OwO seest *blushes* we awe nyot a-aww awonye unhappy: -T-This wide and unyivewsaw theatwe -OwO Pwesents mowe woefuw pageants than the scenye -Whewein we pway in. -JAQUES. Aww the *sweats* wowwd's a stage, -And aww the men a-and *looks at you* women mewewy pwayews; -*twerks* They have theiw exits and theiw entwances; -And onye man in his time pways many pawts, -H-His acts being seven ages. At fiwst the *screams* infant, -Mewwing and puking in the nyuwse's awms; -*cries* Then :3 the whinying schoow-boy, with his satchew -And shinying mownying face, cweeping wike snyaiw -Unwiwwingwy to schoow. x3 And then the w-wovew, -S-Sighing wike fuwnyace, with a woefuw bawwad ->w< Made t-to *twerks* his x3 mistwess' eyebwow. Then a *twerks* sowdiew, -Fuww of stwange o-oaths, and b-beawded wike t-the pawd, -*blushes* Jeawous in *notices bulge* honyouw, sudden and *leans over* quick in quawwew, -Seeking the b-bubbwe weputation -Even in ^.^ the c-cannyon's >w< mouth. And t-then t-the justice, -xDD In faiw *pokes you* wound bewwy with g-good capon win'd, -With eyes sevewe and beawd o-of fowmaw *teleports behind you* cut, -Fuww of wise saws a-and modewn instances; -And s-so he *notices bulge* pways his pawt. The s-sixth age shifts -I-Into the wean and s-swippew'd pantawoon, -With spectacwes on nyose :3 and pouch on side, -His OwO youthfuw hose, weww sav'd, a wowwd too wide -F-Fow his shwunk shank; and his big *notices bulge* manwy voice, -Tuwnying xDD again towawd ^w^ chiwdish twebwe, pipes -And whistwes in his sound. Wast scenye of aww, -That ends *shuffles closer* this stwange eventfuw histowy, -I-Is second *shuffles closer* chiwdishnyess a-and m-mewe obwivion; -Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans t-taste, sans evewy thing. - -*leans over* We-entew *cuddles you* OWWANDO with ADAM - -D-DUKE SENyIOW. Wewcome. Set down y-youw v-venyewabwe buwden. -And wet him feed. -O-OWWANDO. I thank you most *giggles shyly* fow him. -ADAM. So had you nyeed; -I >w< scawce can s-speak to thank you fow mysewf. -DUKE SENyIOW. Wewcome; faww to. I wiww nyot >w< twoubwe you -As OwO yet ^w^ to question :33 you about youw *sighs* fowtunyes. -G-Give us s-some *sweats* music; and, good cousin, sing. - -SONG -Bwow, bwow, thou wintew wind, -Thou awt nyot so UwU unkind -As man's *looks at you* ingwatitude; -T-Thy tooth is ^w^ nyot so keen, -Because thou a-awt nyot seen, -Awthough thy bweath be wude. -*blushes* Heigh-ho! sing heigh-ho! unto the gween *moans* howwy. -Most fwiendship is feignying, most *leans over* woving *sighs* mewe fowwy. -*cries* Then, heigh-ho, the howwy! -This wife is most jowwy. - -Fweeze, fweeze, thou bittew sky, -That *pokes you* dost n-nyot bite so *giggles shyly* nyigh -As benyefits fowgot; -Though thou *looks at you* the watews wawp, -Thy sting is nyot so shawp -As *sighs* fwiend wememb'wed *screams* nyot. -Heigh-ho! s-sing, &-&c. - -DUKE *teleports behind you* SENyIOW. If that you wewe >_< the good Siw W-Wowwand's *cries* son, -As you have whispew'd f-faithfuwwy you wewe, -xDD And as minye eye doth his effigies witnyess -Most twuwy wimn'd a-and wiving in youw face, -Be twuwy wewcome hithew. I am the Duke -That wov'd youw fathew. The wesidue >w< of youw *sighs* fowtunye, -Go to my c-cave and teww me. Good owd man, -Thou awt wight w-wewcome as t-thy mastew is. -*hugs tightly* Suppowt h-him by the awm. G-Give me youw hand, -A-And wet me aww youw *cries* fowtunyes undewstand. Exeunt - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE I. -The pawace - -Entew *leans over* DUKE FWEDEWICK, *shuffles closer* OWIVEW, and WOWDS - -FWEDEWICK. Nyot see him since! Siw, siw, that *giggles shyly* cannyot be. -But wewe I nyot the UwU bettew pawt m-made mewcy, -I shouwd xDD nyot seek an a-absent a-awgument -Of my wevenge, thou pwesent. B-But wook *screams* to it: -Find o-out thy bwothew whewesoe'ew he is; -Seek him with *cuddles you* candwe; bwing *giggles shyly* him dead ow wiving -Within this t-twewvemonth, ow tuwn thou nyo mowe -To seek a wiving *notices bulge* in ouw tewwitowy. -;;w;; Thy wands and aww things that thou dost caww t-thinye -W-Wowth seizuwe do w-we seize into ouw hands, -Tiww thou canst quit thee by thy bwothew's mouth -O-Of what we think against *looks at you* thee. -OWIVEW. O that youw *moans* Highnyess k-knyew my heawt in this! -I nyevew *notices bulge* wov'd my bwothew in my w-wife. -FWEDEWICK. Mowe viwwain thou. Weww, push UwU him o-out of doows; -And wet my officews of such a *blushes* nyatuwe -Make an extent upon his *shuffles closer* house and wands. -*hugs tightly* Do this expedientwy, *teleports behind you* and tuwn him going. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -The fowest - -E-Entew >_< OWWANDO, with a papew - -O-OWWANDO. Hang t-thewe, my vewse, in witnyess of my w-wove; -And thou, t-thwice-cwownyed *looks at you* Queen of Nyight, s-suwvey -With thy chaste eye, fwom t-thy pawe sphewe a-above, -Thy huntwess' nyame that my fuww wife doth sway. -O-O Wosawind! these twees shaww be m-my books, -*looks at you* And in t-theiw bawks my t-thoughts I-I'ww chawactew, -T-That evewy eye which in this fowest wooks -Shaww s-see thy viwtue witnyess'd *leans over* evewy whewe. -Wun, wun, Owwando; cawve on evewy twee, -The faiw, the chaste, *cries* and unyexpwessive OwO she. Exit - -Entew COWIN and TOUCHSTONyE - -*looks at you* COWIN. And how w-wike you this shephewd's w-wife, Mastew Touchstonye? -TOUCHSTONyE. Twuwy, s-shephewd, in wespect o-of itsewf, it is *cries* a g-good -w-wife; b-but in *moans* wespect that i-it i-is a shephewd's wife, xDD it is nyought. -In *moans* wespect that it is sowitawy, I-I :33 wike it vewy ^w^ weww; UwU but in -wespect t-that it is p-pwivate, i-it is a vewy viwe wife. Nyow in -wespect i-it *looks away* is UwU in the fiewds, it pweaseth *pokes you* me weww; b-but in wespect -it i-is nyot in the couwt, it is tedious. *pokes you* As it is a spawe wife, -wook you, it fits my humouw weww; but as thewe is nyo mowe *giggles shyly* pwenty -in it, it goes m-much against my stomach. Hast any phiwosophy *screams* in -thee, shephewd? -COWIN. Nyo *pokes you* mowe but that I knyow the mowe onye sickens the *leans over* wowse at -ease he is; *shuffles closer* and that he that *looks away* wants m-monyey, means, and content, is -w-without thwee good fwiends; that the pwopewty of w-wain is to wet, -and fiwe *looks away* to buwn; that good pastuwe makes fat sheep; and that a -g-gweat cause of the nyight is wack of the OwO sun; that he t-that hath -weawnyed nyo wit by nyatuwe nyow awt m-may compwain of good b-bweeding, -ow comes of a vewy duww kindwed. -T-TOUCHSTONyE. Such a onye is a nyatuwaw phiwosophew. Wast evew in -couwt, shephewd? -COWIN. *sighs* Nyo, twuwy. -TOUCHSTONyE. T-Then thou awt :33 damn'd. -*twerks* COWIN. Nyay, I hope. -TOUCHSTONyE. Twuwy, t-thou awt damn'd, w-wike *looks at you* an iww-woasted e-egg, aww on -onye side. -COWIN. Fow nyot being *shuffles closer* at >w< couwt? Youw weason. -*sighs* TOUCHSTONyE. W-Why, if xDD thou ^-^ nyevew w-wast at >_< couwt thou nyevew saw'st good -mannyews; i-if thou nyevew s-saw'st *screams* good mannyews, then thy mannyews m-must -be wicked; and wickednyess is s-sin, and sin *cries* is damnyation. Thou *cuddles you* awt -in a ;;w;; pawwous state, shephewd. -C-COWIN. Nyot a w-whit, T-Touchstonye. T-Those that awe good mannyews *looks at you* at the -couwt awe *blushes* as widicuwous in the x3 countwy as the behaviouw of the -countwy is most mockabwe at >_> the couwt. You t-towd me you sawute n-nyot -at the couwt, but you kiss youw hands; *hugs tightly* that :3 couwtesy wouwd be -uncweanwy if couwtiews wewe ^w^ shephewds. -TOUCHSTONyE. Instance, *screams* bwiefwy; c-come, i-instance. -COWIN. Why, we awe stiww handwing ouw ewes; and theiw fewws, you -knyow, a-awe gweasy. -xDD TOUCHSTONyE. Why, do nyot youw couwtiew's hands sweat? And i-is nyot the -gwease o-of a mutton as whowesome as the sweat of a man? Shawwow, -shawwow. uWu A *cries* bettew i-instance, >_< I say; come. -COWIN. Besides, ouw hands awe hawd. -TOUCHSTONyE. Youw wips wiww feew t-them the soonyew. Shawwow *teleports behind you* again. A -mowe soundew i-instance; come. -*leans over* COWIN. And they a-awe *cuddles you* often t-taww'd *looks at you* ovew with the suwgewy of ouw -sheep; and *hugs tightly* wouwd you have us kiss taw? The couwtiew's hands awe -pewfum'd with *moans* civet. -TOUCHSTONyE. Most s-shawwow man! thou wowm's meat in w-wespect of a-a good -piece of uWu fwesh i-indeed! Weawn of the wise, and pewpend: *sweats* civet is -of a b-basew *cries* biwth than taw- the vewy uncweanwy *looks at you* fwux *hugs tightly* of a cat. OwO Mend -the instance, *hugs tightly* shephewd. -COWIN. You *hugs tightly* have too couwtwy *sweats* a wit f-fow m-me; I'ww west. -TOUCHSTONyE. Wiwt thou west damn'd? God hewp thee, shawwow man! God -make incision in thee! thou awt w-waw. -COWIN. Siw, I am a-a t-twue ^.^ wabouwew: *twerks* I eawn that I *leans over* eat, get that I -weaw; owe nyo m-man hate, envy nyo man's h-happinyess; gwad of o-othew -men's good, content with my *shuffles closer* hawm; and the *looks at you* gweatest of my *cries* pwide *hugs tightly* is -to see my ewes gwaze *giggles shyly* and m-my wambs suck. -*looks at you* TOUCHSTONyE. That is anyothew simpwe sin in you: to bwing the ewes -and the wams togethew, and to offew to get youw w-wiving by the -c-copuwation of *leans over* cattwe; to be bawd to a beww-wethew, and to betway -a she-wamb of a twewvemonth to c-cwooked-pated, owd, cuckowdwy wam, -^w^ out o-of aww w-weasonyabwe uWu match. If *cuddles you* thou beest nyot damn'd fow this, -the deviw himsewf wiww h-have *notices bulge* nyo shephewds; I cannyot see ewse h-how -*moans* thou shouwdst scape. -COWIN. Hewe *twerks* comes young Mastew Ganymede, my nyew mistwess's bwothew. - -Entew WOSAWIND, w-weading a papew - -W-WOSAWIND. 'Fwom *looks at you* the east to *shuffles closer* westewn I-Inde, -Nyo :3 jewew is wike Wosawinde. -Hew w-wowth, being mounted *blushes* on the wind, -Thwough aww the uWu wowwd beaws Wosawinde. -Aww the *sighs* pictuwes faiwest win'd -Awe but bwack to ;;w;; Wosawinde. -Wet nyo face be kept in mind -B-But the faiw of Wosawinde.' -TOUCHSTONyE. I'ww whyme you so eight yeaws uWu togethew, dinnyews, and -*pokes you* suppews, and sweeping houws, excepted. It is the w-wight -buttew-women's wank to mawket. -WOSAWIND. Out, foow! -TOUCHSTONyE. Fow a taste: -If a uWu hawt do w-wack a-a hind, -W-Wet him seek out Wosawinde. -If *leans over* the cat wiww aftew kind, -S-So be suwe wiww Wosawinde. -Wintew gawments *sighs* must be win'd, -So must uWu swendew Wosawinde. -*leans over* They that *giggles shyly* weap *looks away* must s-sheaf *shuffles closer* and bind, -Then to cawt *screams* with Wosawinde. -Sweetest nyut h-hath souwest wind, -Such a-a nyut i-is Wosawinde. -He that sweetest wose wiww find -Must find wove's pwick and Wosawinde. -This is the vewy fawse g-gawwop of vewses; why do y-you i-infect -youwsewf ;;w;; with *looks at you* them? -W-WOSAWIND. Peace, you duww foow! *notices bulge* I found them on a twee. -T-TOUCHSTONyE. *moans* Twuwy, the twee yiewds bad x3 fwuit. -WOSAWIND. I'ww gwaff it with you, and then I s-shaww gwaff it with a -medwaw. Then it wiww be the eawwiest fwuit i' ^w^ th' countwy; fow -*cries* you'ww be OwO wotten ewe you be hawf *shuffles closer* wipe, and t-that's the wight -v-viwtue of *sighs* the medwaw. -TOUCHSTONyE. You have said; b-but whethew w-wisewy o-ow nyo, wet >_< the fowest -j-judge. - -Entew CEWIA, with a wwiting - -WOSAWIND. Peace! -Hewe comes my s-sistew, weading; stand *shuffles closer* aside. -CEWIA. 'Why UwU shouwd this a desewt be? -F-Fow it is unpeopwed? Nyo; -T-Tongues I'ww h-hang on evewy twee -That s-shaww c-civiw s-sayings show. -Some, how bwief the wife of man -Wuns his ewwing p-piwgwimage, -That the s-stweching of *notices bulge* a *giggles shyly* span -Buckwes in his sum of *moans* age; -Some, of *giggles shyly* viowated :3 vows -'Twixt t-the souws of ;;w;; fwiend and fwiend; -But upon t-the faiwest boughs, -OwO Ow at evewy *cuddles you* sentence end, -*giggles shyly* Wiww I W-Wosawinda wwite, -Teaching a-aww that wead t-to knyow -The quintessence of evewy spwite -Heaven *looks at you* wouwd i-in wittwe show. -Thewefowe heaven Nyatuwe c-chawg'd -That *looks at you* onye body s-shouwd be fiww'd -With a-aww gwaces wide-enwawg'd. -Nyatuwe pwesentwy *notices bulge* distiww'd -Hewen's *notices bulge* cheek, but *looks away* nyot hew heawt, -Cweopatwa's majesty, -Atawanta's bettew pawt, -S-Sad Wucwetia's modesty. -Thus Wosawinde of many pawts -By heavenwy s-synyod was devis'd, -Of *moans* many faces, e-eyes, and heawts, -To have *screams* the touches *pokes you* deawest pwiz'd. -Heaven wouwd that she these gifts shouwd have, -A-And uWu I to *sighs* wive and die hew swave.' -WOSAWIND. O-O m-most gentwe puwpitew! What tedious homiwy of wove have -you weawied youw pawishionyews withaw, and nyevew cwied 'Have -patience, *sweats* good peopwe.' -C-CEWIA. How nyow! Back, fwiends; shephewd, go off a *sighs* wittwe; go with -him, siwwah. -TOUCHSTONyE. Come, shephewd, wet us make *pokes you* an honyouwabwe wetweat; -though *leans over* nyot with b-bag *hugs tightly* and baggage, *hugs tightly* yet with scwip and scwippage. -Exeunt COWIN a-and TOUCHSTONyE -CEWIA. Didst thou heaw these v-vewses? -WOSAWIND. O, y-yes, *screams* I heawd them aww, and mowe too; fow some *pokes you* of them -had ^.^ in them mowe feet than the v-vewses wouwd beaw. -C-CEWIA. That's nyo mattew; the feet might b-beaw the v-vewses. -WOSAWIND. Ay, but the f-feet *blushes* wewe wame, and couwd nyot beaw themsewves -w-without the vewse, UwU and t-thewefowe stood wamewy in the vewse. -C-CEWIA. But didst thou heaw without *moans* wondewing how thy n-nyame s-shouwd be -hang'd and c-cawved ^.^ upon these twees? -*sweats* WOSAWIND. I *looks away* was seven of the nyinye *looks away* days out of *screams* the wondew befowe you -came; xDD fow wook hewe w-what I-I found on a pawm-twee. I-I was nyevew so -bewhym'd since Pythagowas' *pokes you* time t-that I-I *blushes* was an Iwish wat, which I -can h-hawdwy wemembew. -CEWIA. Twow you who hath donye this? -WOSAWIND. Is i-it a-a man? -CEWIA. And a chain, that >_< you once wowe, about his nyeck. -Change *looks at you* you cowouw? -WOSAWIND. I pwithee, who? -CEWIA. O Wowd, Wowd! *cuddles you* it is :33 a hawd mattew fow f-fwiends to >_> meet; b-but -mountains may be wemov'd with eawthquakes, and s-so encountew. -WOSAWIND. Nyay, but who is it? -CEWIA. ^w^ Is it possibwe? -WOSAWIND. *pokes you* Nyay, I pwithee nyow, with most petitionyawy v-vehemence, teww -me *blushes* who :33 it ^-^ is. -C-CEWIA. O wondewfuw, wondewfuw, m-most *sweats* wondewfuw *leans over* wondewfuw, a-and y-yet -a-again wondewfuw, and aftew that, out of aww whooping! -WOSAWIND. Good my compwexion! dost >w< thou think, though I am -capawison'd wike a *moans* man, *screams* I have a doubwet and h-hose in OwO my -disposition? Onye inch of deway mowe is a South Sea of discovewy. -I *cries* pwithee t-teww me *giggles shyly* who is it quickwy, and speak apace. I :3 wouwd -thou c-couwd'st stammew, *twerks* that thou mightst pouw this c-conceaw'd man -out of thy mouth, as winye comes out o-of nyawwow-mouth'd bottwe- -eithew t-too much at o-once ow nyonye at aww. I pwithee t-take the :3 cowk -out o-of thy mouth that *cuddles you* I xDD may dwink thy tidings. -CEWIA. So you may put a *looks away* man in youw bewwy. -WOSAWIND. Is he o-of God's >_< making? W-What mannyew *teleports behind you* of man? -Is h-his head wowth a-a *screams* hat ow his *looks at you* chin wowth a beawd? -CEWIA. Nyay, he hath but a wittwe beawd. -WOSAWIND. >_> Why, God wiww send mowe if the man wiww be thankfuw. Wet -me stay the gwowth of h-his beawd, if thou deway me nyot the -knyowwedge o-of his chin. -CEWIA. *sighs* It is *leans over* young xDD Owwando, that t-twipp'd up the wwestwew's heews -and youw heawt both i-in *pokes you* an instant. -WOSAWIND. Nyay, but the deviw take mocking! Speak sad bwow and twue -maid. -CEWIA. I' f-faith, coz, 'tis h-he. -WOSAWIND. Owwando? -CEWIA. *shuffles closer* Owwando. -xDD WOSAWIND. Awas the day! what shaww I do with my doubwet and hose? -What did h-he when thou s-saw'st him? What said he? How wook'd he? -Whewein went he? What *twerks* makes he hewe? Did he ask fow m-me? W-Whewe -wemains h-he? How pawted *teleports behind you* he w-with thee? And when *hugs tightly* shawt thou see h-him -again? Answew *leans over* me in o-onye wowd. -*cuddles you* CEWIA. >_< You must bowwow me *notices bulge* Gawgantua's m-mouth fiwst; 'tis a wowd too -gweat fow any mouth of this a-age's size. >w< To say ay and nyo to these -pawticuwaws is >w< mowe than t-to answew in a-a catechism. -WOSAWIND. But *moans* doth he knyow that I-I am in this *twerks* fowest, and in man's -appawew? Wooks he as >w< fweshwy as he did the day he wwestwed? -CEWIA. It is >_< as easy to count atomies as to wesowve the -pwopositions of *pokes you* a wovew; b-but take a *hugs tightly* taste o-of *hugs tightly* my finding him, a-and -wewish *giggles shyly* it with good obsewvance. I uWu found *looks at you* him undew a twee, wike a -dwopp'd acown. -WOSAWIND. *giggles shyly* It may weww be caww'd Jove's t-twee, *moans* when it dwops fowth -such fwuit. -CEWIA. Give me audience, *moans* good *looks at you* madam. -W-WOSAWIND. Pwoceed. -CEWIA. Thewe way h-he, stwetch'd awong wike a wounded knyight. -W-WOSAWIND. Though it be pity to see such a sight, it weww *screams* becomes -the gwound. -C-CEWIA. Cwy '-'Howwa' *blushes* to *twerks* thy tongue, I pwithee; it cuwvets -unseasonyabwy. He w-was fuwnyish'd wike a *cries* huntew. -WOSAWIND. O, o-ominyous! ;;w;; he comes t-to kiww my ^-^ heawt. -CEWIA. I ;;w;; wouwd sing my song w-without a *sighs* buwden; thou bwing'st me out -of tunye. ->_< WOSAWIND. Do you nyot knyow I am a *teleports behind you* woman? When I think, ^.^ I *screams* must speak. -uWu Sweet, say on. -CEWIA. You bwing me out. Soft! comes h-he nyot hewe? - -E-Entew OWWANDO and JAQUES - -WOSAWIND. *sweats* 'Tis he; swink by, a-and nyote him. -JAQUES. I >_> thank *blushes* you *teleports behind you* fow youw company; but, good faith, I-I had as -wief have *screams* been mysewf awonye. -OWWANDO. A-And so *cries* had I; but yet, fow *screams* fashion sake, I thank you too -f-fow youw society. -JAQUES. God buy you; wet's meet as wittwe as we *hugs tightly* can. -OWWANDO. I do desiwe we may be bettew stwangews. -JAQUES. I pway you m-maw nyo mowe twees with wwiting wove *cuddles you* songs *looks away* in -theiw bawks. -*screams* OWWANDO. I-I *moans* pway you maw nyo *cries* mowe of my vewses *leans over* with weading *sighs* them -iww-favouwedwy. -JAQUES. W-Wosawind is youw wove's uWu nyame? -OWWANDO. Yes, just. -JAQUES. x3 I *cries* do *pokes you* nyot w-wike hew nyame. -*leans over* OWWANDO. Thewe was nyo thought of pweasing you *looks away* when she was -chwisten'd. -JAQUES. What statuwe is she of? -OWWANDO. Just *pokes you* as high as my heawt. -J-JAQUES. You awe fuww o-of pwetty a-answews. Have you nyot *screams* been -acquainted w-with gowdsmiths' wives, and c-conn'd them o-out of wings? -OWWANDO. Nyot so; b-but I-I a-answew you wight painted cwoth, fwom w-whence -you have studied youw questions. -xDD JAQUES. *teleports behind you* You h-have OwO a n-nyimbwe wit; I think *giggles shyly* 'twas *shuffles closer* made of Atawanta's -heews. Wiww uWu you sit down with m-me? and we two wiww waiw UwU against -ouw m-mistwess t-the x3 wowwd, :3 and aww ouw UwU misewy. -OWWANDO. I w-wiww chide nyo bweathew in the wowwd but mysewf, *looks at you* against -*cries* whom I k-knyow m-most fauwts. -JAQUES. The wowst fauwt you *pokes you* have is *notices bulge* to OwO be in wove. -OWWANDO. 'Tis a f-fauwt I wiww *hugs tightly* nyot change fow youw best viwtue. *sweats* I am -weawy of you. -JAQUES. By my twoth, I was seeking *giggles shyly* fow a foow when I found you. -O-OWWANDO. He is dwown'd in the bwook; *shuffles closer* wook *moans* but in, and you shaww see -him. -JAQUES. Thewe I shaww see minye own f-figuwe. -OWWANDO. *screams* Which I ^.^ take to >_> be eithew a foow o-ow a ciphew. -JAQUES. I'ww tawwy nyo wongew *cuddles you* with you; faweweww, good Signyiow Wove. -OWWANDO. I am gwad of youw depawtuwe; a-adieu, good Monsieuw -Mewanchowy. -Exit JAQUES -WOSAWIND. [Aside t-to CEWIA] I wiww speak *looks away* to him wike a saucy wackey, -and undew >w< that habit pway *leans over* the knyave with *sighs* him.- D-Do *shuffles closer* you heaw, -fowestew? -O-OWWANDO. Vewy *leans over* weww; what *sweats* wouwd *sighs* you? -WOSAWIND. I pway you, what i-is't o'cwock? -O-OWWANDO. You shouwd *giggles shyly* ask me *pokes you* what time o' *cuddles you* day; thewe's nyo cwock in -the *sighs* fowest. -WOSAWIND. T-Then thewe is n-nyo twue wovew in the *sighs* fowest, ewse s-sighing -*pokes you* evewy *sweats* minyute and gwoanying evewy houw wouwd detect the wazy foot -of Time as weww as a cwock. -OWWANDO. *leans over* And why nyot the swift foot of Time? Had nyot that been as -pwopew? -WOSAWIND. By nyo *looks away* means, siw. Time twavews in divews paces with -divews pewsons. *blushes* I'ww teww you uWu who Time *blushes* ambwes withaw, who T-Time -twots withaw, who Time gawwops withaw, and *sweats* who he *looks at you* stands stiww -w-withaw. -OWWANDO. I-I pwithee, who doth *pokes you* he twot withaw? -WOSAWIND. Mawwy, he t-twots hawd *screams* with a young maid between the -contwact of hew mawwiage and the day it is sowemnyiz'd; if the -intewim be *looks at you* but a se'nnyight, Time's pace is so h-hawd that >_> it *leans over* seems -the *teleports behind you* wength of s-seven yeaw. -O-OWWANDO. Who ambwes Time withaw? -*notices bulge* WOSAWIND. *cries* With a-a pwiest that *blushes* wacks W-Watin *cuddles you* and a wich man that hath -nyot the gout; f-fow the onye sweeps easiwy because he *shuffles closer* cannyot study, -and t-the othew wives mewwiwy because he feews nyo pain; UwU the *hugs tightly* onye -w-wacking the buwden o-of w-wean and ^.^ wastefuw weawnying, the othew -knyowing nyo buwden of heavy tedious penyuwy. These Time xDD ambwes -withaw. -O-OWWANDO. W-Who :33 doth he gawwop withaw? -WOSAWIND. W-With a thief t-to t-the gawwows; fow though he *moans* go as softwy -as foot can faww, he thinks himsewf too s-soon *sighs* thewe. -OWWANDO. Who stays it stiww withaw? -WOSAWIND. *hugs tightly* With wawyews in the vacation; fow they >w< sweep between tewm -a-and tewm, a-and then they *cries* pewceive nyot how Time moves. -OWWANDO. Whewe dweww *blushes* you, pwetty youth? -WOSAWIND. With this shephewdess, my sistew; hewe i-in the skiwts of -the fowest, wike f-fwinge upon a petticoat. -*hugs tightly* OWWANDO. *pokes you* Awe you nyative of this pwace? -WOSAWIND. As the conyey that *pokes you* you see dweww w-whewe she i-is kindwed. -OWWANDO. Youw uWu accent is something finyew than you couwd puwchase ^.^ in -s-so wemoved a *blushes* dwewwing. -WOSAWIND. I have b-been t-towd so of many; but *pokes you* indeed an owd wewigious -uncwe of *blushes* minye taught uWu me to xDD speak, who was *notices bulge* in his youth *sweats* an inwand -man; onye that knyew couwtship too weww, fow t-thewe he f-feww in wove. -I *blushes* have heawd him wead many wectuwes against it; and I thank God I-I -am nyot a woman, to b-be touch'd with s-so many giddy offences a-as he -hath genyewawwy tax'd uWu theiw whowe sex withaw. -OWWANDO. Can you wemembew >_> any o-of t-the *cries* pwincipaw eviws that he waid -t-to :33 the chawge of women? -WOSAWIND. *looks away* Thewe wewe nyonye pwincipaw; they w-wewe a-aww wike onye anyothew -as hawfpence a-awe; *sweats* evewy ^w^ onye fauwt seeming monstwous x3 tiww xDD his -*screams* fewwow-fauwt came to *cries* match it. -OWWANDO. I-I pwithee wecount some xDD of xDD them. -WOSAWIND. *hugs tightly* Nyo; I w-wiww nyot cast away my physic but *moans* on those t-that *screams* awe -sick. Thewe is a m-man haunts the fowest that *screams* abuses ouw young -^w^ pwants >w< with cawving '-'Wosawind' on theiw bawks; hangs odes upon -*twerks* hawthowns and *looks at you* ewegies *cries* on bwambwes; a-aww, fowsooth, deifying the -nyame of >_> Wosawind. If I *teleports behind you* couwd meet that fancy-mongew, I wouwd give -him some *screams* good counsew, fow he seems to have the *pokes you* quotidian of wove -upon *leans over* him. -OWWANDO. I a-am he that is so w-wove-shak'd; I pway *screams* you teww *looks at you* me youw -w-wemedy. -WOSAWIND. Thewe i-is OwO nyonye of my u-uncwe's mawks *sighs* upon uWu you; *screams* he taught me -*sweats* how ;;w;; to knyow a-a man i-in wove; in *blushes* which cage of wushes I am suwe you -awe n-nyot pwisonyew. -OWWANDO. What wewe his m-mawks? -WOSAWIND. A wean cheek, which you h-have nyot; a bwue eye and sunken, -*blushes* which you have nyot; an unquestionyabwe spiwit, which you have *looks away* nyot; -OwO a beawd nyegwected, which you have nyot; but *screams* I pawdon you fow that, -fow simpwy youw having in beawd *twerks* is a youngew bwothew's wevenyue. -Then youw hose *screams* shouwd be ungawtew'd, youw xDD bonnyet unbanded, youw -xDD sweeve unbutton'd, youw shoe untied, and evewy thing about you -demonstwating a-a cawewess desowation. But you awe nyo such man; *cries* you -awe wathew point-device >w< in youw accoutwements, as *giggles shyly* woving youwsewf -than OwO seeming the wovew of any othew. -OWWANDO. Faiw youth, I wouwd I couwd make thee bewieve I wove. -WOSAWIND. M-Me bewieve it! Y-You may as OwO soon m-make hew that you wove -*notices bulge* bewieve it; which, I-I wawwant, OwO she is aptew to do t-than to confess -s-she does. That is onye of the points in the *teleports behind you* which women UwU stiww give -the w-wie to t-theiw consciences. But, in good sooth, awe you h-he >_< that -hangs the vewses on the t-twees w-whewein W-Wosawind is so admiwed? -O-OWWANDO. I sweaw to t-thee, youth, by the *pokes you* white hand *cries* of Wosawind, I -am that he, that unfowtunyate he. -WOSAWIND. B-But awe you *moans* so much in wove a-as youw whymes speak? -OWWANDO. Nyeithew whyme n-nyow :33 weason can expwess how much. -*cuddles you* WOSAWIND. Wove i-is x3 mewewy a m-madnyess; and, I teww *hugs tightly* you, desewves as -weww a-a x3 dawk house and a whip as madmen do; *cuddles you* and t-the x3 weason why -*blushes* they >w< awe nyot so punyish'd a-and cuwed is that the wunyacy is so -owdinyawy that *hugs tightly* the whippews awe in *moans* wove too. Yet I *teleports behind you* pwofess cuwing -it by counsew. -OWWANDO. Did you *moans* evew cuwe *shuffles closer* any s-so? -WOSAWIND. Yes, onye; *shuffles closer* and i-in this mannyew. He was to i-imaginye me *notices bulge* his -wove, his m-mistwess; and *shuffles closer* I set *blushes* him evewy day t-to woo me; at which -time wouwd I, being but a m-moonyish *pokes you* youth, gwieve, be effeminyate, -changeabwe, wonging and wiking, p-pwoud, fantasticaw, apish, -shawwow, inconstant, fuww of teaws, fuww of smiwes; fow evewy -passion something and fow nyo passion twuwy anything, as boys and -w-women awe fow the most pawt *screams* cattwe of ;;w;; this cowouw; *screams* wouwd n-nyow wike -him, nyow woathe h-him; then entewtain him, then fowsweaw him; nyow -*sighs* weep fow him, then spit at him; that I dwave my s-suitow f-fwom his -mad humouw of wove to a wiving humouw o-of madnyess; which *shuffles closer* was, to -fowsweaw the fuww stweam o-of the wowwd x3 and to wive in a nyook -m-mewewy monyastic. And thus I-I c-cuw'd him; and this way wiww *cries* I take -upon me to wash youw wivew as cwean *hugs tightly* as a sound x3 sheep's heawt, -that thewe *looks at you* shaww nyot *looks away* be onye spot o-of wove in 't. -*moans* OWWANDO. I *twerks* wouwd nyot be cuwed, youth. -WOSAWIND. I wouwd cuwe you, if you wouwd but caww me Wosawind, and -come uWu evewy d-day to m-my *looks at you* cote *looks at you* and woo me. -OWWANDO. Nyow, b-by t-the faith of my wove, I *cuddles you* wiww. Teww m-me whewe it is. -WOSAWIND. Go with me :33 to it, and I'ww show it ;;w;; you; and, :3 by the way, -you shaww teww me whewe i-in *sweats* the f-fowest you wive. Wiww you *moans* go? -OWWANDO. With aww my xDD heawt, good *cuddles you* youth. -WOSAWIND. Nyay, you must *hugs tightly* caww me Wosawind. Come, sistew, w-wiww you -g-go? Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *looks at you* III. -T-The fowest - -Entew TOUCHSTONyE and ^.^ AUDWEY; JAQUES behind - -TOUCHSTONyE. *pokes you* Come apace, g-good Audwey; I wiww fetch up youw goats, -Audwey. And *sighs* how, Audwey, am I *sighs* the man yet? Doth my simpwe featuwe -content you? -*twerks* AUDWEY. Youw featuwes! W-Wowd wawwant us! *leans over* What featuwes? -TOUCHSTONyE. I am hewe with thee and thy goats, as the most -capwicious p-poet, honyest Ovid, was among the Goths. -JAQUES. [Aside] O knyowwedge iww-inhabited, wowse than Jove in >_> a -OwO thatch'd house! -TOUCHSTONyE. When a man's vewses cannyot be *giggles shyly* undewstood, nyow a man's -*sweats* good wit seconded >_< with the fowwawd chiwd :33 undewstanding, i-it -stwikes a-a man m-mowe dead t-than a gweat weckonying in a *sweats* wittwe woom. -Twuwy, I wouwd t-the gods h-had made thee poeticaw. -AUDWEY. I do n-nyot knyow what 'poeticaw' is. Is it honyest in deed and -wowd? Is it a twue thing? -TOUCHSTONyE. N-Nyo, twuwy; f-fow >_> the twuest poetwy is the most feignying, -and wovews awe given t-to p-poetwy; *sighs* and what they sweaw in poetwy may -*pokes you* be s-said as wovews they do *looks at you* feign. -AUDWEY. Do you wish, then, ;;w;; that the ^.^ gods had made *sweats* me poeticaw? -TOUCHSTONyE. I do, twuwy, fow thou *pokes you* sweaw'st to me thou awt honyest; -nyow, if xDD thou wewt a p-poet, I might have some hope *looks at you* thou didst -feign. -AUDWEY. Wouwd you n-nyot *leans over* have me honyest? -TOUCHSTONyE. N-Nyo, twuwy, unwess thou *shuffles closer* wewt h-hawd-favouw'd; fow honyesty -coupwed to beauty is to have honyey a s-sauce to s-sugaw. -JAQUES. [Aside] A-A matewiaw foow! -AUDWEY. Weww, I am nyot faiw; and xDD thewefowe I-I pway t-the g-gods make me -honyest. -TOUCHSTONyE. Twuwy, and to cast away honyesty upon a f-fouw swut wewe -to put ^w^ good meat into an uncwean dish. -AUDWEY. I am nyot a swut, though I thank the g-gods I am >_< fouw. -TOUCHSTONyE. Weww, pwaised b-be the gods fow thy fouwnyess; -swuttishnyess m-may come x3 heweaftew. B-But :33 be it as it may be, I wiww -^w^ mawwy thee; and to t-that >w< end I have been with Siw Owivew Mawtext, -the vicaw of t-the nyext viwwage, who h-hath p-pwomis'd to meet me in -this p-pwace o-of t-the fowest, uWu and to coupwe us. -JAQUES. [Aside] I wouwd fain *notices bulge* see this meeting. -AUDWEY. Weww, the gods give us *leans over* joy! -xDD TOUCHSTONyE. Amen. A m-man may, if he wewe o-of a feawfuw heawt, *cries* staggew -in this attempt; fow hewe ;;w;; we *twerks* have nyo ^.^ tempwe but the w-wood, *screams* nyo -assembwy but hown-beasts. But what though? Couwage! As howns awe -odious, they *looks at you* awe x3 nyecessawy. It is said: 'Many *notices bulge* a man k-knyows nyo end -of his goods.' Wight! Many a man has uWu good *giggles shyly* howns and knyows n-nyo end -of them. *looks at you* Weww, that *looks at you* is the dowwy of his w-wife; 'tis nyonye *blushes* of his -o-own getting. Howns? Even so. Poow men awonye? N-Nyo, nyo; the nyobwest -deew hath them as ^.^ huge as the wascaw. xDD Is the singwe man thewefowe -bwessed? Nyo; as a waww'd town *shuffles closer* is mowe wowthiew *sweats* than a v-viwwage, so -is the *leans over* fowehead o-of *sweats* a *leans over* mawwied man m-mowe honyouwabwe than t-the bawe -bwow of a b-bachewow; and by how much defence is bettew than nyo -skiww, by so much is hown mowe *cuddles you* pwecious than to *hugs tightly* want. Hewe comes -Siw O-Owivew. - -Entew *hugs tightly* SIW OWIVEW uWu MAWTEXT - -Siw *looks away* Owivew Mawtext, you awe weww met. Wiww y-you dispatch us hewe -undew this twee, ow shaww we go with you to youw chapew? -MAWTEXT. *leans over* Is thewe nyonye hewe to give the woman? -T-TOUCHSTONyE. I wiww nyot *looks away* take ^.^ hew on gift of a-any man. -MAWTEXT. Twuwy, she must be given, ow the mawwiage is nyot wawfuw. -JAQUES. [Discovewing himsewf] Pwoceed, *cries* pwoceed; I'ww give hew. -TOUCHSTONyE. Good even, good Mastew What-ye-caww't; how d-do you, >w< siw? -*shuffles closer* You awe vewy weww met. ^w^ Goddiwd you fow youw wast company. I am -vewy gwad to see you. Even >_< a ^-^ toy in h-hand *twerks* hewe, siw. Nyay; pway *teleports behind you* be -covew'd. -JAQUES. Wiww ^.^ you b-be m-mawwied, motwey? -^w^ TOUCHSTONyE. As the ox *cuddles you* hath his bow, siw, the howse his c-cuwb, and -the fawcon hew bewws, so man hath his desiwes; and as pigeons -biww, xDD so w-wedwock wouwd b-be nyibbwing. -JAQUES. And wiww you, being a man of youw ;;w;; bweeding, be mawwied -undew a *sighs* bush, wike a-a beggaw? Get y-you to chuwch and have a good -pwiest that can teww you what mawwiage is; this fewwow wiww but -join you togethew as they join wainscot; then *twerks* onye *twerks* of you wiww -pwove a-a s-shwunk *hugs tightly* panyew, and w-wike g-gween timbew wawp, wawp. -TOUCHSTONyE. [Aside] *looks away* I am nyot in uWu the *screams* mind but I wewe bettew to be -*teleports behind you* mawwied of him than of anyothew; fow *looks at you* he i-is *twerks* nyot wike to mawwy me -weww; and nyot being weww mawwied, it wiww be a good excuse fow me -heweaftew to w-weave my *twerks* wife. -JAQUES. *twerks* Go thou *cries* with me, *cuddles you* and *sighs* wet me counsew thee. -TOUCHSTONyE. Come, sweet Audwey; -We must be *screams* mawwied ow we must wive in bawdwy. -Faweweww, good M-Mastew O-Owivew. Nyot- -O-O sweet Owivew, -O bwave Owivew, -W-Weave *blushes* me n-nyot b-behind thee. -But- -Wind away, -B-Begonye, I uWu say, -I-I wiww nyot to wedding with thee. -Exeunt JAQUES, TOUCHSTONyE, and AUDWEY -;;w;; MAWTEXT. '-'Tis ;;w;; nyo m-mattew; nye'ew a fantasticaw knyave of them aww -shaww fwout m-me out of my cawwing. E-Exit - - - - -SCENyE IV. -The UwU fowest - -:3 Entew WOSAWIND and CEWIA - -WOSAWIND. Nyevew tawk *giggles shyly* to me; I wiww w-weep. -*moans* CEWIA. Do, I pwithee; but yet *blushes* have the gwace to considew that teaws -do nyot become a man. -WOSAWIND. But have I nyot cause to weep? -CEWIA. As good cause as onye wouwd desiwe; thewefowe weep. -WOSAWIND. His vewy h-haiw is of the dissembwing c-cowouw. -CEWIA. Something bwownyew than Judas's. -Mawwy, his *hugs tightly* kisses awe Judas's own chiwdwen. -WOSAWIND. ;;w;; I' faith, his haiw *cuddles you* is of a-a *hugs tightly* good cowouw. -CEWIA. An excewwent cowouw: youw chestnyut was evew the o-onwy cowouw. -WOSAWIND. And his kissing is a-as fuww o-of sanctity a-as the touch of -howy bwead. -*giggles shyly* CEWIA. He hath bought >_> a ;;w;; paiw o-of cast wips of UwU Dianya. A n-nyun of -uWu wintew's sistewhood kisses nyot mowe wewigiouswy; the vewy ice of -chastity ^.^ is in them. -WOSAWIND. But why did he s-sweaw he wouwd come this mownying, and -comes :3 nyot? -CEWIA. N-Nyay, cewtainwy, thewe is nyo twuth in him. -WOSAWIND. Do you think so? -CEWIA. Yes; *cries* I think he is n-nyot a pick-puwse nyow a howse-steawew; but -fow h-his vewity in *twerks* wove, I d-do xDD think him as concave as covewed -gobwet ow a-a wowm-eaten nyut. -WOSAWIND. Nyot twue in w-wove? -CEWIA. *shuffles closer* Yes, when he *notices bulge* is in; but I think he is nyot in. -WOSAWIND. ;;w;; You have heawd him sweaw downwight he was. -UwU CEWIA. 'Was' *pokes you* is nyot 'is'; besides, the oath of *pokes you* a wovew is nyo -stwongew than the wowd of a tapstew; *notices bulge* they awe both the confiwmew -of fawse weckonyings. He attends h-hewe in t-the fowest on the Duke, -youw fathew. -WOSAWIND. I met the Duke ^w^ yestewday, and had much question with him. -:33 He asked m-me of what pawentage I was; I t-towd him, of as good as -he; >_> so he *moans* waugh'd and wet me ;;w;; go. But *looks away* what *twerks* tawk we *looks away* of fathews when -thewe is such a man a-as Owwando? -CEWIA. O, that's a bwave man! He wwites bwave vewses, speaks bwave -wowds, sweaws bwave oaths, and bweaks them bwavewy, quite -t-twavewse, athwawt the heawt o-of *twerks* his >_> wovew; a-as a puny tiwtew, that -spuws his howse x3 but :33 on onye *notices bulge* side, bweaks his staff wike a nyobwe -goose. *pokes you* But *cries* aww's bwave that youth mounts and fowwy guides. Who -comes hewe? - -Entew *leans over* COWIN - -COWIN. OwO Mistwess and m-mastew, you h-have oft enquiwed -Aftew the ^.^ shephewd that compwain'd of wove, -Who y-you saw sitting by me on the tuwf, -Pwaising the pwoud disdainfuw *blushes* shephewdess -That was :3 his mistwess. -CEWIA. Weww, a-and what of him? -COWIN. If *sweats* you w-wiww see a pageant twuwy pway'd -Between the p-pawe compwexion of t-twue wove -And the w-wed gwow of *cuddles you* scown and pwoud disdain, -Go hence a wittwe, and I shaww conduct you, -OwO If *blushes* you >_> wiww m-mawk it. -WOSAWIND. O-O, come, wet u-us *looks at you* wemove! -The s-sight of wovews feedeth *blushes* those in w-wove. -Bwing u-us to this sight, and you shaww *shuffles closer* say -I'ww pwove a busy actow in theiw pway. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Anyothew pawt of the fowest - -Entew SIWVIUS and PHEBE - -SIWVIUS. *leans over* Sweet Phebe, do nyot scown me; do nyot, Phebe. -Say that you wove me nyot; but say nyot so -In bittewnyess. *looks away* The common executionyew, -W-Whose heawt x3 th' accustom'd sight of d-death m-makes hawd, -*shuffles closer* Fawws nyot the axe upon the h-humbwed nyeck -But f-fiwst begs pawdon. *hugs tightly* Wiww you s-stewnyew be -Than he that dies and wives b-by *screams* bwoody dwops? - -Entew WOSAWIND, CEWIA, and *sighs* COWIN, at :33 a distance - -PHEBE. I w-wouwd nyot be thy executionyew; -I fwy t-thee, fow I wouwd nyot *teleports behind you* injuwe t-thee. -Thou teww'st *cuddles you* me thewe is muwdew in minye eye. -'Tis pwetty, s-suwe, xDD and vewy pwobabwe, -That eyes, t-that awe the ^w^ fwaiw'st and s-softest things, -Who shut theiw cowawd gates on atomies, -Shouwd be caww'd t-tywants, *blushes* butchews, muwdewews! -Nyow I do f-fwown on thee w-with aww my heawt; -A-And if minye eyes can w-wound, nyow *screams* wet them kiww thee. -Nyow *looks away* countewfeit to swoon; why, nyow faww down; -Ow, if thou canst nyot, ^.^ O, fow shame, fow *hugs tightly* shame, -Wie nyot, to say minye eyes awe muwdewews. -*blushes* Nyow show *twerks* the wound minye eye hath made in thee. -Scwatch thee but with a pin, and thewe wemains -Some >w< scaw of it; wean *hugs tightly* upon a wush, -The c-cicatwice and *moans* capabwe i-impwessuwe -Thy pawm UwU some moment keeps; >_< but >w< nyow *shuffles closer* minye UwU eyes, -Which I have dawted at thee, huwt t-thee nyot; -Nyow, I am suwe, thewe *looks at you* is nyot fowce in :3 eyes -T-That can do huwt. -SIWVIUS. O-O deaw Phebe, -*looks at you* If evew- as that evew may b-be nyeaw- -You meet in some fwesh cheek the p-powew o-of f-fancy, -Then shaww you OwO knyow the wounds invisibwe -*looks away* That wove's keen awwows make. -PHEBE. But tiww that time -Come :33 nyot thou >w< nyeaw ;;w;; me; and *looks away* when that time *cuddles you* comes, -Affwict *looks at you* me w-with thy mocks, pity me nyot; -As tiww that time I shaww nyot *leans over* pity thee. -WOSAWIND. [-[Advancing] And :3 why, *pokes you* I pway you? W-Who *giggles shyly* might b-be youw -mothew, -That you insuwt, exuwt, and aww at once, -Ovew t-the wwetched? What though ^.^ you have *hugs tightly* nyo b-beauty- -As, by my *shuffles closer* faith, I s-see n-nyo mowe in y-you -Than without candwe may go dawk to bed- -M-Must you be thewefowe pwoud and x3 pitiwess? -Why, what means this? Why do you wook on me? -I see nyo mowe in you than *twerks* in t-the owdinyawy -Of nyatuwe's sawe-wowk. 'Od's ^-^ my wittwe wife, -I think she means t-to tangwe my e-eyes too! -Nyo faith, pwoud mistwess, hope nyot a-aftew it; -'Tis nyot youw inky bwows, ^w^ youw bwack *looks at you* siwk haiw, -Youw bugwe e-eyebawws, nyow youw cheek o-of cweam, -That can entame *shuffles closer* my *sighs* spiwits to youw wowship. -Y-You foowish shephewd, whewefowe d-do y-you fowwow hew, -Wike >_> foggy south, puffing with wind and wain? -You awe a thousand UwU times a pwopewew *teleports behind you* man -Than she a woman. '-'Tis such foows a-as you -That makes the *leans over* wowwd fuww of iww-favouw'd chiwdwen. -'Tis nyot hew gwass, but you, that fwattews *notices bulge* hew; -And o-out of you *hugs tightly* she sees hewsewf UwU mowe pwopew -T-Than any of hew winyeaments *blushes* can show hew. -But, mistwess, knyow y-youwsewf. Down on youw knyees, -And *leans over* thank heaven, fasting, fow a good man's wove; -Fow I-I must teww you fwiendwy in >_> youw eaw: -Seww when you can; you awe nyot fow aww mawkets. -*hugs tightly* Cwy the man >_> mewcy, wove him, take his offew; -*moans* Fouw i-is ^w^ most fouw, b-being fouw *giggles shyly* to be a-a *pokes you* scoffew. -So take hew t-to thee, s-shephewd. Fawe you *leans over* weww. -PHEBE. Sweet youth, I pway you chide a yeaw togethew; -I-I *notices bulge* had wathew heaw you *blushes* chide than this man woo. -W-WOSAWIND. >_> He's f-faww'n i-in wove with youw fouwnyess, *blushes* and she'ww faww -in wove with my angew. If i-it be so, as fast as *looks away* she a-answews x3 thee -with fwownying wooks, I'ww sauce *hugs tightly* hew with b-bittew wowds. Why wook -you so u-upon me? -PHEBE. *blushes* Fow n-nyo iww wiww *hugs tightly* I beaw you. -WOSAWIND. I p-pway you *giggles shyly* do nyot faww in wove with *notices bulge* me, -Fow I-I ^.^ am fawsew than vows made in winye; -Besides, I :3 wike y-you nyot. If you wiww k-knyow my *hugs tightly* house, -'-'Tis at *cuddles you* the t-tuft of owives h-hewe hawd by. -Wiww you g-go, sistew? Shephewd, pwy *cries* hew hawd. -Come, sistew. >_< Shephewdess, wook on him b-bettew, -And be nyot *sighs* pwoud; though a-aww :33 the w-wowwd c-couwd see, -*looks away* Nyonye couwd be s-so a-abus'd in sight as he. -Come, to o-ouw fwock. *cries* Exeunt *hugs tightly* WOSAWIND, C-CEWIA, and COWIN -PHEBE. Dead shephewd, nyow *giggles shyly* I find *screams* thy saw of might: -'Who evew wov'd that wov'd ^-^ nyot at fiwst s-sight?' -*looks away* SIWVIUS. Sweet Phebe. -PHEBE. Ha! what say'st t-thou, S-Siwvius? -SIWVIUS. S-Sweet P-Phebe, pity me. -PHEBE. Why, I awn sowwy f-fow thee, gentwe *cuddles you* Siwvius. -SIWVIUS. Whewevew s-sowwow is, wewief >_> wouwd be. -If you do s-sowwow ^w^ at my gwief in :33 wove, -By giving wove, youw *screams* sowwow and UwU my gwief -W-Wewe b-both extewmin'd. -PHEBE. Thou hast my wove; is nyot that :3 nyeighbouwwy? -SIWVIUS. *moans* I w-wouwd have you. -PHEBE. >_< Why, that wewe *blushes* covetousnyess. -Siwvius, the *leans over* time was t-that >_> I hated thee; -And yet it is nyot UwU that I-I >_> beaw thee wove; -But since ^-^ that thou c-canst tawk of UwU wove so weww, -T-Thy company, which *twerks* ewst was iwksome to me, -*sighs* I wiww enduwe; and I'ww empwoy *cries* thee too. -x3 But do nyot wook fow fuwthew wecompense -Than thinye own gwadnyess that t-thou awt e-empwoy'd. -S-SIWVIUS. So howy and so pewfect *blushes* is m-my wove, -And I in such *teleports behind you* a *leans over* povewty of gwace, -That x3 I s-shaww think it a most pwenteous cwop -To gwean OwO the b-bwoken eaws aftew the m-man -That the ^w^ main hawvest weaps; woose *cries* nyow and then -A scatt'wed smiwe, and that I'ww w-wive upon. -PHEBE. Knyow'st thou the *screams* youth that spoke to *teleports behind you* me ewewhiwe? -SIWVIUS. N-Nyot v-vewy weww; but I-I have met him oft; -^w^ And h-he hath bought *sighs* the c-cottage and the *twerks* bounds -That the owd cawwot o-once was mastew of. -PHEBE. Think nyot uWu I wove him, t-though *pokes you* I ask fow him; -'Tis but a peevish boy; *looks away* yet he >_< tawks weww. -But what cawe I *twerks* fow wowds? Y-Yet wowds do weww -When xDD he that speaks them pweases those t-that heaw. -I-It is a pwetty youth- nyot vewy *cries* pwetty; -*looks at you* But, ^-^ suwe, he's pwoud; *sighs* and yet h-his p-pwide becomes him. -He'ww make a pwopew man. The best thing in him -Is his compwexion; and fastew than h-his tongue -Did make offence, his eye did heaw it ^w^ up. -He is *blushes* nyot *teleports behind you* vewy taww; yet *teleports behind you* fow his *giggles shyly* yeaws he's taww; -His weg is but so-so; and yet '-'tis weww. -Thewe w-was a *cuddles you* pwetty *sweats* wednyess in his wip, -A-A w-wittwe wipew and mowe wusty wed -Than that mix'd in his cheek; *looks at you* 'twas just the diffewence -Betwixt the c-constant wed and mingwed *cuddles you* damask. -Thewe b-be some women, S-Siwvius, had they m-mawk'd him -In pawcews a-as I did, wouwd have gonye nyeaw -To *sweats* faww in wove w-with him; UwU but, *pokes you* fow my ^.^ pawt, -I-I *cuddles you* wove him nyot, nyow hate him nyot; a-and yet -I have mowe cause to hate him than to wove him; -Fow what had h-he to do to chide at >_< me? -He said minye eyes wewe bwack, and m-my haiw b-bwack, -And, nyow I *teleports behind you* am wememb'wed, s-scown'd at me. -I mawvew why *twerks* I a-answew'd nyot :3 again; -But that's aww *moans* onye: *screams* omittance is *twerks* nyo quittance. -I'ww wwite to him a vewy taunting wettew, -And thou shawt beaw *moans* it; wiwt thou, Siwvius? -SIWVIUS. Phebe, with a-aww my heawt. -PHEBE. I-I'ww *notices bulge* wwite >_> it *moans* stwaight; -*leans over* The *looks away* mattew's i-in m-my head and in my heawt; -I wiww *looks at you* be bittew w-with him and passing >_< showt. -Go with me, *looks away* Siwvius. OwO Exeunt - - - - -<_> IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 B-BY WOWWD W-WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND IS ->_> PWOVIDED *hugs tightly* BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO W-WONG AS SUCH *cries* COPIES (-(1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -*hugs tightly* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. -The fowest - -Entew WOSAWIND, C-CEWIA, >_> and JAQUES - -JAQUES. *cuddles you* I :3 pwithee, pwetty youth, wet me be bettew acquainted with -thee. -WOSAWIND. T-They x3 say you awe a m-mewanchowy fewwow. -JAQUES. I am so; I do wove *shuffles closer* it bettew than waughing. -WOSAWIND. Those that awe in extwemity of eithew awe abominyabwe -fewwows, ^-^ and b-betway themsewves to evewy modewn censuwe *screams* wowse than -dwunkawds. -J-JAQUES. Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nyothing. -WOSAWIND. >_> Why then, 'tis good to be a post. -JAQUES. I-I have nyeithew the schowaw's mewanchowy, which i-is -emuwation; nyow the musician's, which is fantasticaw; nyow the -couwtiew's, which is ^.^ pwoud; *moans* nyow the sowdiew's, w-which x3 is -*cries* ambitious; nyow the wawyew's, which ^-^ is powitic; nyow the wady's, -which is nyice; nyow *cries* the wovew's, which is *looks away* aww these; but it is a -mewanchowy ^-^ of minye own, compounded of many simpwes, extwacted -fwom *cries* many objects, and, ^w^ indeed, the sundwy contempwation of m-my -twavews; i-in which my often wuminyation wwaps me in a-a most humowous -sadnyess. -WOSAWIND. A-A twavewwew! By my faith, *pokes you* you have gweat weason to b-be -sad. I feaw you have sowd y-youw own wands to see othew men's; then -to have seen much and to have nyothing i-is to have wich eyes and -p-poow hands. -JAQUES. Yes, I have g-gain'd *shuffles closer* my expewience. - -Entew OWWANDO - -WOSAWIND. And y-youw *cries* expewience *giggles shyly* makes you sad. x3 I uWu had *cuddles you* wathew have a -foow to make me mewwy t-than expewience *giggles shyly* to uWu make me s-sad- and to -twavew fow ^.^ it x3 too. -OWWANDO. Good day, a-and *cuddles you* happinyess, deaw Wosawind! -JAQUES. Nyay, then, *giggles shyly* God buy you, an *pokes you* you *blushes* tawk i-in *twerks* bwank vewse. -WOSAWIND. F-Faweweww, M-Monsieuw Twavewwew; wook you wisp and weaw -*sweats* stwange suits, disabwe :3 aww the benyefits *shuffles closer* of youw *sweats* own countwy, *blushes* be -out of w-wove with youw nyativity, *looks at you* and awmost chide G-God fow making -you t-that countenyance you ^w^ awe; ow I wiww scawce think you have -*cries* swam in a *shuffles closer* gondowa. [Exit JAQUES] W-Why, how >w< nyow, OwO Owwando! whewe -have you been aww *cuddles you* this whiwe? You a wovew! *pokes you* An you sewve me *looks away* such -a-anyothew twick, nyevew come in my s-sight mowe. -OWWANDO. M-My faiw Wosawind, I c-come within an houw of my pwomise. -WOSAWIND. Bweak an houw's pwomise in wove! He that >_> wiww divide a -m-minyute *hugs tightly* into a t-thousand pawts, and bweak but a pawt of the -thousand pawt of a m-minyute in the *blushes* affaiws o-of wove, it may be said -of him that Cupid hath cwapp'd x3 him *teleports behind you* o' th' shouwdew, but I'ww -wawwant him heawt-whowe. -O-OWWANDO. Pawdon >_> me, deaw Wosawind. -WOSAWIND. Nyay, an you be so t-tawdy, come nyo x3 mowe in my *leans over* sight. *cuddles you* I had -as wief be woo'd o-of a-a snyaiw. -OWWANDO. Of a snyaiw! -WOSAWIND. A-Ay, of a snyaiw; fow though he comes swowwy, he cawwies -his house on his head- a bettew jointuwe, I think, t-than you make -a woman; b-besides, he bwings *hugs tightly* his destiny with h-him. -OWWANDO. What's *shuffles closer* that? -*teleports behind you* WOSAWIND. Why, howns; which such as you awe fain to be b-behowding to -youw wives fow; but he comes awmed in his fowtunye, and pwevents -UwU the swandew of his wife. -*teleports behind you* OWWANDO. Viwtue i-is *cuddles you* nyo hown-makew; and my Wosawind is viwtuous. -WOSAWIND. *blushes* And *notices bulge* I am youw Wosawind. -CEWIA. It :33 pweases >_< him to OwO caww you so; but he hath a Wosawind of a -*notices bulge* bettew w-weew than you. -*screams* WOSAWIND. Come, woo me, w-woo me; fow nyow I-I am in a h-howiday humouw, -and wike enyough *hugs tightly* to consent. What ;;w;; wouwd you say to me nyow, an I -wewe youw x3 vewy vewy Wosawind? -OWWANDO. I-I wouwd k-kiss befowe I spoke. -WOSAWIND. Nyay, y-you wewe bettew speak *leans over* fiwst; and when you wewe -gwaveww'd *cries* fow wack of mattew, you might take occasion to kiss. -Vewy good owatows, when t-they awe out, they wiww spit; and fow -wovews w-wacking- OwO God wawn us!- mattew, the cweanwiest shift *looks at you* is to -kiss. -OWWANDO. How *teleports behind you* if the kiss be denyied? -WOSAWIND. Then she puts you to *notices bulge* entweaty, a-and thewe begins nyew -mattew. -^-^ OWWANDO. x3 Who couwd be out, being befowe his bewoved m-mistwess? -WOSAWIND. Mawwy, that shouwd you, if I wewe youw mistwess; ow *leans over* I -shouwd think my honyesty wankew than my *giggles shyly* wit. -O-OWWANDO. What, of >w< my suit? -WOSAWIND. Nyot *hugs tightly* out of youw appawew, and y-yet *twerks* out of youw suit. -*looks at you* Am nyot x3 I youw Wosawind? -OWWANDO. I take some joy to say you awe, because I wouwd be tawking -of hew. -WOSAWIND. Weww, in hew pewson, I say I wiww nyot have you. -OWWANDO. Then, in *sighs* minye own pewson, I die. -WOSAWIND. Nyo, faith, die by *looks away* attownyey. The poow wowwd i-is *sighs* awmost six -thousand yeaws owd, and in aww this time thewe w-was nyot a-any man -died in his own pewson, videwicet, in a *notices bulge* wove-cause. Twoiwus had -his bwains dash'd *screams* out *shuffles closer* with a-a UwU Gwecian cwub; yet he did *notices bulge* what he -c-couwd to die befowe, and he is onye of the pattewns of wove. -Weandew, *cuddles you* he wouwd have wiv'd many a faiw yeaw, though Hewo had -tuwn'd nyun, if it had nyot ;;w;; been fow a-a hot midsummew nyight; *looks away* fow, -g-good youth, he went but fowth to w-wash him *teleports behind you* in the Hewwespont, and, -being taken ;;w;; with the cwamp, was dwown'd; and the foowish -chwonyicwews of that age *shuffles closer* found it was- H-Hewo of Sestos. *twerks* But *moans* these -awe aww wies: men :33 have died :3 fwom time to time, >_> and wowms ^w^ have -eaten them, but nyot fow wove. -OWWANDO. I wouwd nyot have my *looks away* wight Wosawind *sweats* of this mind; fow, I -pwotest, hew ^-^ fwown might kiww me. -WOSAWIND. By this hand, it *leans over* wiww ^.^ nyot kiww a f-fwy. But come, nyow I -wiww be youw Wosawind in a-a mowe coming-on disposition; and ;;w;; ask me -*notices bulge* what y-you w-wiww, I wiww gwant *pokes you* it. -OWWANDO. Then wove me, W-Wosawind. -WOSAWIND. Yes, *cuddles you* faith, wiww I, ^w^ Fwidays and Satuwdays, and aww. -OWWANDO. OwO And *moans* wiwt t-thou have me? -WOSAWIND. Ay, and twenty such. -OWWANDO. What :33 sayest thou? -W-WOSAWIND. Awe you nyot good? -O-OWWANDO. I hope s-so. -WOSAWIND. Why t-then, can >_< onye desiwe too much of a-a good thing? *sighs* Come, -s-sistew, you ;;w;; shaww be the pwiest, and mawwy us. Give me youw hand, -Owwando. :3 What do you say, s-sistew? -;;w;; OWWANDO. uWu Pway thee, mawwy us. -CEWIA. I cannyot say the wowds. -WOSAWIND. Y-You must begin *hugs tightly* 'Wiww you, Owwando'- -CEWIA. Go t-to. Wiww *leans over* you, Owwando, have to wife t-this Wosawind? -O-OWWANDO. I wiww. -WOSAWIND. Ay, but *screams* when? -O-OWWANDO. Why, nyow; as fast as she can mawwy us. -WOSAWIND. Then *blushes* you must say 'I take thee, *twerks* Wosawind, *sighs* fow wife.' -OWWANDO. I take thee, Wosawind, >_> fow wife. -WOSAWIND. I might *twerks* ask you fow youw commission; OwO but- :33 I *moans* do take thee, -Owwando, fow my *looks away* husband. Thewe's a giww goes befowe the pwiest; ->_> and, cewtainwy, a woman's thought wuns befowe hew >w< actions. -OWWANDO. *cuddles you* So d-do a-aww thoughts; t-they awe wing'd. -WOSAWIND. Nyow teww me how wong you wouwd have ;;w;; hew, a-aftew you have -possess'd hew. -OWWANDO. Fow e-evew a-and a day. -WOSAWIND. S-Say 'a day' uWu without the 'evew.' Nyo, :33 nyo, Owwando; men awe -Apwiw when they woo, *leans over* Decembew when they wed: maids awe May w-when -they awe maids, but the sky changes when they awe wives. I wiww -be mowe jeawous o-of *sweats* thee than a Bawbawy cock-pigeon ovew his hen, -mowe cwamowous than UwU a pawwot :33 against wain, mowe nyew-fangwed than -xDD an ape, ^w^ mowe giddy in my desiwes than a monkey. I wiww weep fow -nyothing, wike D-Dianya in the fountain, UwU and I xDD wiww d-do that when you -awe dispos'd to be mewwy; I wiww waugh w-wike a h-hyen, and that w-when -thou *sighs* awe incwin'd to s-sweep. -OWWANDO. *blushes* But w-wiww ^w^ my Wosawind do so? -*cries* WOSAWIND. B-By my wife, she >_> wiww d-do a-as I do. -OWWANDO. O, but she is wise. -WOSAWIND. Ow ewse she couwd nyot have t-the *looks away* wit to d-do this. :33 The wisew, -the waywawdew. Make the doows upon a *teleports behind you* woman's w-wit, and *pokes you* it w-wiww o-out -at t-the casement; *sighs* shut that, and 'twiww *looks away* out at the key-howe; stop -that, >w< 'twiww fwy >w< with >w< the *hugs tightly* smoke out at the chimnyey. -OWWANDO. A man that *cuddles you* had a UwU wife with such a *screams* wit, he might say :33 'Wit, -whithew wiwt?' *shuffles closer* WOSAWIND. *cries* Nyay, you might k-keep :33 that check fow i-it, tiww you met youw -wife's wit >_< going to youw nyeighbouw's bed. -OWWANDO. And what wit couwd :33 wit :3 have to excuse *hugs tightly* that? -W-WOSAWIND. Mawwy, *screams* to say she came *twerks* to seek you thewe. >_< You shaww nyevew -t-take h-hew without hew answew, unwess you take hew without *blushes* hew -t-tongue. O, *screams* that woman *cuddles you* that c-cannyot make hew f-fauwt hew *sighs* husband's -occasion, *blushes* wet hew nyevew nyuwse hew chiwd hewsewf, fow *giggles shyly* she wiww -bweed it wike a foow! -O-OWWANDO. xDD Fow these two h-houws, :33 Wosawind, I *twerks* wiww weave thee. -WOSAWIND. Awas, deaw wove, I cannyot wack *twerks* thee two houws! -O-OWWANDO. I must attend the OwO Duke *moans* at dinnyew; by two o'cwock I wiww be -with thee again. -*sweats* WOSAWIND. Ay, go *teleports behind you* youw w-ways, go youw w-ways. I knyew what y-you wouwd -pwove; my fwiends towd me a-as *notices bulge* much, and I *moans* thought n-nyo *giggles shyly* wess. *giggles shyly* That ->_< fwattewing tongue of youws won *notices bulge* me. 'Tis but x3 onye cast away, and -*shuffles closer* so, come death! Two o'cwock *sweats* is youw houw? -OWWANDO. A-Ay, sweet Wosawind. -:33 WOSAWIND. *cries* By *looks away* my twoth, *looks at you* and in good eawnyest, and so God mend me, and -by aww pwetty oaths that awe nyot dangewous, if you bweak onye jot -of *hugs tightly* youw pwomise, ow come onye minyute ^-^ behind *shuffles closer* youw houw, I wiww -t-think you the most patheticaw bweak-pwomise, and the most howwow -wovew, and the most unwowthy of hew you caww Wosawind, *sweats* that may -be chosen *hugs tightly* out of *sighs* the gwoss band of the unfaithfuw. Thewefowe -bewawe my censuwe, and k-keep youw pwomise. -OWWANDO. With nyo wess w-wewigion than if thou wewt indeed my -x3 Wosawind; so, a-adieu. -WOSAWIND. Weww, Time is t-the owd justice that e-examinyes aww such -offendews, a-and *looks away* wet Time twy. Adieu. Exit OWWANDO -CEWIA. You have simpwy uWu misus'd *looks away* ouw sex in youw wove-pwate. W-We *teleports behind you* must -*moans* have youw d-doubwet and hose pwuck'd ovew y-youw head, *looks away* and show the -wowwd what the biwd OwO hath donye to hew *looks at you* own nyest. -WOSAWIND. O coz, *cuddles you* coz, coz, my pwetty wittwe coz, that thou didst -knyow how m-many fathom deep I am in wove! But *cries* it cannyot be sounded; -^-^ my affection hath an unknyown bottom, >_< wike the Bay o-of Powtugaw. -CEWIA. Ow wathew, bottomwess; *shuffles closer* that as fast as *cuddles you* you pouw a-affection -i-in, it wuns out. -WOSAWIND. Nyo; that same wicked bastawd o-of *notices bulge* Venyus, that was begot o-of -thought, conceiv'd of spween, and bown of *shuffles closer* madnyess; that bwind -wascawwy b-boy, that abuses evewy onye's eyes, because his own awe -out- wet h-him be judge how deep I am in wove. I-I'ww teww thee, -*teleports behind you* Awienya, I-I cannyot be out *blushes* of t-the sight of Owwando. I-I'ww xDD go uWu find a -shadow, a-and sigh t-tiww he come. -CEWIA. And I'ww uWu sweep. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -The fowest - -Entew *leans over* JAQUES and WOWDS, x3 in the habit of fowestews - -*blushes* JAQUES. >_> Which is he *twerks* that kiwwed t-the deew? -WOWD. Siw, i-it w-was I. -JAQUES. Wet's pwesent him *shuffles closer* to the uWu Duke, wike a Woman conquewow; and -it wouwd do *screams* weww to uWu set the deew's howns upon his head ^w^ fow a -bwanch o-of victowy. H-Have you nyo song, f-fowestew, fow this puwpose? -WOWD. Yes, siw. -JAQUES. Sing it; 'tis nyo mattew h-how it be in tunye, so it make nyoise -enyough. - -SONG. - -*cuddles you* What shaww he have t-that *sighs* kiww'd the deew? -*blushes* His weathew skin and howns x3 to weaw. -uWu [The west shaww h-heaw *screams* this buwden:] -T-Then sing *moans* him home. - -*hugs tightly* Take thou nyo scown to weaw the hown; -It was UwU a cwest ewe thou uWu wast bown. -Thy f-fathew's f-fathew wowe it; -xDD And thy fathew bowe it. -The hown, ^.^ the ^w^ hown, the wusty hown, -Is nyot a thing *shuffles closer* to waugh t-to scown. *screams* Exeunt - - - - ->_> SCENyE III. -The fowest - -Entew W-WOSAWIND and CEWIA - -WOSAWIND. How say you nyow? Is i-it nyot past two o'cwock? -And hewe *twerks* much Owwando! -CEWIA. I wawwant *screams* you, with puwe wove and twoubwed bwain, he hath -ta'en h-his bow and awwows, and *pokes you* is gonye fowth- to sweep. Wook, who -comes hewe. - -Entew *leans over* SIWVIUS - -*teleports behind you* SIWVIUS. M-My ewwand is to you, faiw youth; -My g-gentwe Phebe did bid me give you this. ->_< I knyow nyot the ^-^ contents; but, as I guess -B-By the stewn bwow *blushes* and waspish action -Which s-she did u-use as she was wwiting of it, -It beaws an angwy tenyouw. *screams* Pawdon m-me, -I a-am but *sweats* as a :3 guiwtwess messengew. -*pokes you* WOSAWIND. Patience hewsewf w-wouwd stawtwe at t-this wettew, -And pway the s-swaggewew. Beaw this, beaw aww. -She s-says I am nyot f-faiw, that *shuffles closer* I wack ^w^ mannyews; -She c-cawws me pwoud, and *looks away* that she couwd n-nyot wove m-me, -Wewe man *twerks* as *cries* wawe as Phoenyix. 'Od's my wiww! -H-Hew w-wove is nyot the hawe t-that I *cries* do *teleports behind you* hunt; -Why wwites s-she *teleports behind you* so >_> to m-me? Weww, shephewd, weww, -This i-is a wettew of UwU youw :3 own device. -SIWVIUS. *twerks* Nyo, I pwotest, I knyow nyot the *teleports behind you* contents; -Phebe did wwite it. -WOSAWIND. Come, come, you awe a foow, -And tuwn'd i-into t-the extwemity of wove. -I saw hew *cuddles you* hand; she *moans* has *leans over* a weathewn hand, -A fweestonye-cowouw'd hand; I *cries* vewiwy did think -That hew owd gwoves wewe on, but 'twas hew hands; -She has a huswife's hand- but *screams* that's nyo mattew. -I say *leans over* she *notices bulge* nyevew did invent this wettew: -This x3 is a-a m-man's invention, ;;w;; and his *sighs* hand. -SIWVIUS. Suwe, it is hews. -*moans* WOSAWIND. Why, 'tis a boistewous and ^.^ a cwuew stywe; -A stywe fow chawwengews. Why, she *pokes you* defies me, -Wike :33 Tuwk ^w^ to :3 Chwistian. ^-^ Women's gentwe bwain -Couwd nyot dwop *moans* fowth UwU such g-giant-wude invention, -Such Ethiope wowds, bwackew i-in OwO theiw effect -Than in theiw countenyance. Wiww you heaw t-the w-wettew? -S-SIWVIUS. So pwease y-you, fow I nyevew heawd ;;w;; it yet; -Yet heawd too much of Phebe's cwuewty. -*pokes you* WOSAWIND. She Phebes me: *cuddles you* mawk how the tywant wwites. -[Weads] - -'Awt thou god to shephewd ;;w;; tuwn'd, -That a m-maiden's heawt UwU hath buwn'd?' - -Can a woman waiw thus? -SIWVIUS. C-Caww you this waiwing? -WOSAWIND. 'Why, thy godhead waid apawt, -Waww'st thou with a w-woman's heawt?' - -Did you evew heaw such waiwing? - -'Whiwes the eye of man d-did woo me, -That couwd do nyo vengeance to me.' - -M-Meanying me a *sighs* beast. - -'If the scown of youw bwight eynye -Have powew to waise x3 such wove in minye, -^w^ Awack, in me w-what stwange effect -*moans* Wouwd they wowk in miwd ^-^ aspect! -Whiwes *teleports behind you* you chid m-me, *notices bulge* I did w-wove; -H-How then might youw *shuffles closer* pwayews ^w^ move! -He that b-bwings t-this wove to the -Wittwe knyows this wove i-in me; -And by him seaw *screams* up *cuddles you* thy mind, -*sweats* Whethew ;;w;; that thy youth a-and kind -Wiww the faithfuw offew take -Of me and a-aww >_> that *looks away* I *sighs* can m-make; -*looks away* Ow ewse by him my ^-^ wove deny, -And *looks away* then I'ww study how to *twerks* die.' -SIWVIUS. Caww you this ;;w;; chiding? -CEWIA. >w< Awas, poow shephewd! -*looks at you* WOSAWIND. Do you pity him? Nyo, he desewves nyo pity. Wiwt thou wove -s-such a woman? What, to *looks away* make thee an instwument, and pway fawse -stwains upon thee! Nyot t-to be enduw'd! Weww, go youw *teleports behind you* way *looks at you* to hew, -:3 fow I see wove hath x3 made thee tame snyake, and say this t-to hew- -t-that if she *sighs* wove me, I-I c-chawge hew to wove thee; if she wiww nyot, -I wiww nyevew have hew unwess thou entweat fow hew. If you be a -twue >_< wovew, hence, and nyot *leans over* a wowd; fow hewe comes mowe *leans over* company. -Exit SIWVIUS - -Entew OWIVEW - -OWIVEW. *notices bulge* Good mowwow, faiw o-onyes; pway you, if you *cries* knyow, -Whewe in t-the puwwieus of this fowest stands -A sheep-cote fenc'd about with owive t-twees? -CEWIA. W-West of this pwace, down in :3 the nyeighbouw bottom. -*notices bulge* The wank of osiews by *pokes you* the muwmuwing stweam -W-Weft on youw wight hand bwings you to the pwace. -But at this houw the house *teleports behind you* doth keep itsewf; -Thewe's nyonye within. -*cries* OWIVEW. If t-that *pokes you* an *sweats* eye *cuddles you* may *giggles shyly* pwofit by a >w< tongue, -Then shouwd I-I :33 knyow you by descwiption- -Such *notices bulge* gawments, a-and such yeaws: 'The boy is faiw, -Of femawe favouw, and bestows h-himsewf -Wike a wipe sistew; the w-woman wow, -:3 And bwownyew ^w^ than hew bwothew.' Awe *looks away* nyot you -The ownyew of the h-house I did i-inquiwe fow? -CEWIA. It is nyo boast, being ask'd, *hugs tightly* to say we awe. -OWIVEW. Owwando doth commend him to you both; -*leans over* And to that uWu youth he cawws his *giggles shyly* Wosawind -He sends ;;w;; this bwoody nyapkin. Awe ^-^ you he? -WOSAWIND. I-I *twerks* am. W-What must *sweats* we undewstand by this? -OWIVEW. *shuffles closer* Some of :33 my *notices bulge* shame; if you wiww knyow ^.^ of me -What man I *moans* am, and how, and why, and whewe, -This *shuffles closer* handkewchew was :33 stain'd. -*cuddles you* CEWIA. I-I pway you, teww it. -OWIVEW. When w-wast the young Owwando *giggles shyly* pawted fwom you, -He w-weft a pwomise to w-wetuwn again -Within an houw; *looks at you* and, pacing *blushes* thwough *twerks* the fowest, -Chewing the food *hugs tightly* of s-sweet *screams* and bittew fancy, -Wo, what befeww! He thwew his eye aside, -And m-mawk what object did pwesent itsewf. -Undew an oak, whose boughs wewe m-moss'd with age, -And high top bawd with dwy antiquity, -A wwetched wagged man, *sweats* o'ewgwown with haiw, -Way sweeping on his back. About his n-nyeck -A gween and giwded ^w^ snyake h-had wweath'd itsewf, -Who with *teleports behind you* hew *sweats* head nyimbwe i-in thweats appwoach'd -T-The openying of his mouth; but suddenwy, -Seeing Owwando, it unwink'd itsewf, -:33 And with indented *blushes* gwides did *twerks* swip away -Into a bush; undew which bush's shade -A wionyess, with uddews aww *blushes* dwawn dwy, -W-Way couching, head on gwound, w-with catwike w-watch, -When that the sweeping man *pokes you* shouwd stiw; fow 'tis -The w-woyaw uWu disposition o-of that beast -*twerks* To pwey *pokes you* on *sweats* nyothing *looks away* that doth seem *blushes* as dead. -T-This seen, Owwando d-did a-appwoach the man, -And f-found uWu it *twerks* was his bwothew, his ewdew bwothew. -CEWIA. O, I have *screams* heawd him speak of that same bwothew; -And he did w-wendew him the most unnyatuwaw -T-That wiv'd amongst men. -OWIVEW. And weww h-he *leans over* might so do, -^-^ Fow weww I k-knyow :33 he w-was unnyatuwaw. -WOSAWIND. But, to Owwando: did he weave uWu him t-thewe, -Food t-to the suck'd and hungwy w-wionyess? -OWIVEW. *looks away* Twice did he *looks away* tuwn his back, ^-^ and puwpos'd so; -But kindnyess, nyobwew e-evew than wevenge, -And nyatuwe, stwongew than his just occasion, -Made h-him g-give ^w^ battwe *twerks* to the wionyess, -Who quickwy feww befowe him; in *sighs* which *pokes you* huwtwing -Fwom misewabwe xDD swumbew I awak'd. -CEWIA. A-Awe you his bwothew? -WOSAWIND. Was't you he wescu'd? -CEWIA. Was't you that did s-so oft ^w^ contwive to kiww him? -OWIVEW. 'Twas I; but '-'tis nyot I-I. I do nyot ^w^ shame ->_> To >_< teww you what I was, since my convewsion -So sweetwy tastes, being *cries* the t-thing I am. -WOSAWIND. But fow *looks away* the bwoody nyapkin? -OWIVEW. By a-and by. -When fwom the fiwst to wast, betwixt us *giggles shyly* two, -*notices bulge* Teaws ouw wecountments had most kindwy bath'd, -As h-how I came into that desewt pwace- -In bwief, he wed me to the gentwe Duke, -W-Who gave *twerks* me fwesh awway and entewtainment, -Committing me unto *cuddles you* my bwothew's wove; -*sighs* Who wed ^.^ me instantwy unto his cave, -Thewe stwipp'd himsewf, and hewe upon *cuddles you* his awm -The wionyess had town xDD some fwesh *cuddles you* away, -W-Which >_< aww this w-whiwe had bwed; and nyow he fainted, -A-And cwied, in fainting, upon Wosawind. -*giggles shyly* Bwief, I wecovew'd him, *sighs* bound up his wound, -And, aftew some smaww uWu space, being stwong at heawt, -He sent me hithew, stwangew as I am, -T-To teww *cuddles you* this *pokes you* stowy, that you :33 might excuse -His bwoken p-pwomise, and t-to g-give *hugs tightly* this nyapkin, -Dy'd in his bwood, unto t-the shephewd youth -T-That he in s-spowt *hugs tightly* doth c-caww h-his Wosawind. -[-[WOSAWIND swoons] -*teleports behind you* CEWIA. *screams* Why, how nyow, Ganymede! sweet ^w^ Ganymede! -*sighs* OWIVEW. Many ;;w;; wiww swoon when t-they do wook on ;;w;; bwood. -CEWIA. Thewe is mowe *leans over* in it. C-Cousin Ganymede! -OWIVEW. Wook, he wecovews. -WOSAWIND. I wouwd I wewe a-at home. -*sighs* CEWIA. *twerks* We'ww w-wead you thithew. -I-I pway you, wiww *giggles shyly* you take h-him by the awm? -OWIVEW. Be of *pokes you* good cheew, youth. You a man! -You *twerks* wack a man's heawt. -*pokes you* WOSAWIND. OwO I do so, I-I *teleports behind you* confess it. Ah, siwwah, a body wouwd think -this was weww countewfeited. I pway *looks at you* you teww youw bwothew how -w-weww I countewfeited. xDD Heigh-ho! -OWIVEW. This was nyot countewfeit; thewe *twerks* is too gweat t-testimony :3 in -youw compwexion that it was a passion of eawnyest. -WOSAWIND. Countewfeit, I *giggles shyly* assuwe y-you. -O-OWIVEW. Weww t-then, ;;w;; take a good heawt and countewfeit *cries* to be a man. -WOSAWIND. So I do; but, i' f-faith, I shouwd have been a *pokes you* woman by -wight. -CEWIA. Come, >_> you wook p-pawew and pawew; pway you dwaw homewawds. -Good siw, g-go with us. -OWIVEW. *twerks* That wiww I, fow I must beaw ^.^ answew back -How you excuse my bwothew, Wosawind. -W-WOSAWIND. I shaww devise something; but, I-I pway you, c-commend m-my -countewfeiting uWu to him. Wiww you go? E-Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -The fowest - -Entew TOUCHSTONyE a-and *sighs* AUDWEY - -TOUCHSTONyE. We shaww find a-a t-time, A-Audwey; patience, gentwe Audwey. -AUDWEY. Faith, t-the pwiest was good enyough, uWu fow aww t-the owd -gentweman's saying. -TOUCHSTONyE. A *hugs tightly* most w-wicked Siw Owivew, Audwey, a-a most viwe Mawtext. -But, Audwey, thewe is a youth hewe in the fowest ways cwaim to -you. -A-AUDWEY. Ay, I knyow who '-'tis; he hath :33 nyo intewest i-in me in the -w-wowwd; h-hewe comes the man you mean. - -Entew *looks at you* WIWWIAM - -TOUCHSTONyE. It is meat and dwink ;;w;; to me to see a *hugs tightly* cwown. >_> By my t-twoth, -we that have good *giggles shyly* wits have >w< much t-to *screams* answew fow: we shaww *twerks* be -fwouting; we cannyot howd. -WIWWIAM. Good ev'n, *looks away* Audwey. -AUDWEY. uWu God ye good e-ev'n, Wiwwiam. -WIWWIAM. And good ev'n t-to *teleports behind you* you, siw. -TOUCHSTONyE. Good ev'n, gentwe fwiend. Covew thy head, covew thy -h-head; nyay, pwithee be covew'd. How owd awe *twerks* you, fwiend? -*twerks* WIWWIAM. Five a-and twenty, siw. -T-TOUCHSTONyE. >w< A wipe age. Is thy *moans* nyame Wiwwiam? -WIWWIAM. ;;w;; Wiwwiam, siw. -TOUCHSTONyE. A *cuddles you* faiw nyame. Wast bown i' th' fowest hewe? -WIWWIAM. A-Ay, s-siw, I thank God. -UwU TOUCHSTONyE. 'Thank G-God.' A good answew. -Awt :33 wich? -WIWWIAM. *looks away* Faith, s-siw, so so. -TOUCHSTONyE. '-'So so' i-is good, vewy good, vewy excewwent good; *blushes* and ->w< yet i-it is nyot; it is but so so. Awt thou wise? -WIWWIAM. Ay, siw, I have a pwetty wit. -TOUCHSTONyE. Why, t-thou s-say'st weww. I do n-nyow wemembew a saying: 'The -foow doth uWu think he is w-wise, *shuffles closer* but the wise man knyows himsewf to b-be -a foow.' T-The heathen phiwosophew, w-when xDD he *sighs* had *looks at you* a *looks at you* desiwe t-to eat a -gwape, w-wouwd open his wips when he put it x3 into his mouth; meanying -theweby that gwapes wewe *moans* made to e-eat and wips xDD to open. Y-You do -wove *sighs* this maid? -WIWWIAM. I do, siw. -TOUCHSTONyE. Give me youw hand. Awt thou weawnyed? -WIWWIAM. Nyo, siw. -*sighs* TOUCHSTONyE. Then weawn this ^w^ of me: to have is to have; fow it is a -figuwe in whetowic that dwink, ^-^ being pouw'd out of cup into a-a -gwass, b-by fiwwing the onye d-doth empty the othew; ^-^ fow aww youw -wwitews do consent that ipse is ^-^ he; nyow, you a-awe n-nyot ipse, fow I-I -am he. -WIWWIAM. Which he, s-siw? -TOUCHSTONyE. He, siw, *looks at you* that must mawwy this woman. Thewefowe, you -cwown, abandon- w-which is in the vuwgaw w-weave- the society- which -in *looks at you* the boowish i-is company- of this femawe- which *leans over* in t-the common is -woman- w-which t-togethew i-is: *giggles shyly* abandon t-the society of this femawe; ow, -cwown, thou pewishest; ow, to thy bettew undewstanding, diest; -ow, to wit, I kiww thee, make thee away, twanswate thy wife into -death, t-thy wibewty into bondage. I w-wiww deaw in poison with thee, -UwU ow ^-^ in bastinyado, o-ow in steew; I wiww *sweats* bandy w-with *blushes* thee i-in f-faction; -wiww o'ew-wun *looks at you* thee with *cries* powicy; *cuddles you* I *pokes you* wiww kiww thee a hundwed and -fifty *looks away* ways; thewefowe t-twembwe and depawt. -A-AUDWEY. Do, g-good Wiwwiam. -*moans* WIWWIAM. OwO God *notices bulge* west you *cries* mewwy, siw. Exit - -Entew COWIN - -COWIN. Ouw *cuddles you* mastew *sweats* and mistwess s-seeks you; c-come away, away. -TOUCHSTONyE. Twip, Audwey, t-twip, A-Audwey. I attend, I attend. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -*moans* The fowest - -*teleports behind you* Entew OWWANDO and OWIVEW - -OWWANDO. *shuffles closer* Is't *teleports behind you* possibwe that on so wittwe acquaintance y-you shouwd -wike UwU hew? that b-but seeing you shouwd wove hew? and woving woo? -and, uWu wooing, she shouwd gwant? and wiww you pewsevew t-to enjoy -h-hew? -OWIVEW. N-Nyeithew caww the giddinyess of it i-in question, the p-povewty -of hew, the smaww acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nyow hew sudden ->_> consenting; b-but say *sighs* with me, I w-wove Awienya; s-say w-with hew that she -woves me; consent *hugs tightly* with both that we may *pokes you* enjoy each othew. It -shaww be to youw good; fow my fathew's house and a-aww the wevenyue -that was owd Siw Wowwand's w-wiww *hugs tightly* I estate upon you, and hewe :3 wive -and d-die a shephewd. -OWWANDO. You have my *leans over* consent. Wet youw wedding *looks away* be :3 to-mowwow. -Thithew wiww *giggles shyly* I invite the Duke and aww's >w< contented fowwowews. Go -you and pwepawe Awienya; ^.^ fow, wook you, hewe comes my Wosawind. - -Entew WOSAWIND - -WOSAWIND. God save you, bwothew. -OWIVEW. And you, faiw sistew. Exit -WOSAWIND. O, my deaw Owwando, how it gwieves ^w^ me to see thee weaw -*notices bulge* thy heawt in a-a scawf! -OWWANDO. xDD It is my awm. -WOSAWIND. *pokes you* I thought thy heawt had been wounded with the c-cwaws of a -*leans over* wion. -*shuffles closer* OWWANDO. Wounded *shuffles closer* it is, but with the eyes of a wady. -WOSAWIND. Did youw bwothew teww y-you *notices bulge* how I countewfeited t-to *sighs* swoon -when he show'd me ^-^ youw handkewchew? -*looks at you* OWWANDO. Ay, and gweatew *pokes you* wondews than that. -WOSAWIND. O, I knyow whewe you awe. Nyay, 'tis twue. Thewe was nyevew -*shuffles closer* any thing so sudden but the fight of two wams and Caesaw's -t-thwasonyicaw *notices bulge* bwag of 'I came, saw, a-and *looks at you* ovewcame.' Fow youw *looks away* bwothew -and my sistew nyo soonyew met but they wook'd; n-nyo *notices bulge* soonyew *pokes you* wook'd but -they wov'd; nyo soonyew *cries* wov'd b-but they sigh'd; nyo soonyew sigh'd but -they ^w^ ask'd onye *screams* anyothew the weason; *looks at you* nyo soonyew knyew the weason *cries* but -they sought *blushes* the ;;w;; wemedy- and in these degwees :3 have *shuffles closer* they m-made paiw -of staiws to mawwiage, w-which they *screams* wiww *shuffles closer* cwimb incontinyent, ow ewse -be incontinyent befowe mawwiage. T-They ^-^ awe in the vewy wwath of -w-wove, and they wiww t-togethew. Cwubs cannyot pawt them. -O-OWWANDO. They shaww be mawwied t-to-mowwow; and I wiww bid t-the Duke -*leans over* to t-the nyuptiaw. But, O, how bittew a thing it is to wook into -happinyess >w< thwough anyothew m-man's *looks away* eyes! By s-so much the mowe *teleports behind you* shaww I -to-mowwow *screams* be at the height of heawt-heavinyess, *pokes you* by how much I -shaww think my bwothew h-happy in having what *sweats* he wishes fow. -WOSAWIND. W-Why, *blushes* then, to-mowwow I cannyot sewve youw tuwn f-fow -Wosawind? -OWWANDO. I *cries* can wive uWu nyo xDD wongew by t-thinking. -WOSAWIND. I wiww weawy *leans over* you, then, nyo wongew ;;w;; with idwe tawking. Knyow -of me then- *leans over* fow nyow *sighs* I speak to some puwpose- ^w^ that I knyow y-you a-awe -a gentweman o-of good conceit. I speak nyot this t-that you s-shouwd -beaw a good opinyion of my knyowwedge, insomuch I say I knyow you -awe; nyeithew do I wabouw fow a *sweats* gweatew esteem than may in s-some -wittwe measuwe dwaw a b-bewief fwom >_> you, to >_< do youwsewf good, *blushes* and -nyot to g-gwace me. B-Bewieve then, *sighs* if you pwease, that *blushes* I can do -stwange things. I have, since :33 I was thwee yeaw owd, convews'd -with a m-magician, most pwofound *notices bulge* in his a-awt and yet n-nyot damnyabwe. -:3 If you do wove Wosawind so nyeaw the h-heawt as youw gestuwe cwies -i-it *hugs tightly* out, when youw bwothew mawwies Awienya shaww you mawwy h-hew. I -k-knyow ^.^ into what *shuffles closer* stwaits of fowtunye she is dwiven; and it is nyot -impossibwe to m-me, if it appeaw nyot inconvenyient to you, :3 to set -hew b-befowe >_< youw eyes to-mowwow, human as *pokes you* she *shuffles closer* is, a-and without any -dangew. -OWWANDO. Speak'st *sweats* thou in sobew meanyings? -WOSAWIND. By my *shuffles closer* wife, I *shuffles closer* do; which I tendew deawwy, though I say I -am a magician. Thewefowe put you in youw best *looks at you* awway, bid youw -fwiends; fow if you wiww be mawwied *leans over* to-mowwow, you shaww; *notices bulge* and to -Wosawind, *hugs tightly* if y-you *teleports behind you* wiww. - -Entew S-SIWVIUS and PHEBE - -*teleports behind you* Wook, h-hewe comes a wovew ^-^ of minye, and a wovew *sighs* of hews. -^w^ PHEBE. Youth, you have donye me much ungentwenyess -To show the wettew ;;w;; that I :33 wwit to you. -W-WOSAWIND. ^-^ I cawe nyot i-if I *notices bulge* have. It is my *leans over* study -To seem despitefuw and *looks away* ungentwe >w< to you. -You a-awe t-thewe f-fowwow'd by a faithfuw shephewd; -Wook upon him, wove :3 him; he *notices bulge* wowships you. -PHEBE. Good shephewd, teww this youth what 'tis to wove. -*blushes* SIWVIUS. It is to be aww made of *sweats* sighs and teaws; -And so am I fow Phebe. -PHEBE. And I fow Ganymede. -OWWANDO. And I fow Wosawind. -*notices bulge* WOSAWIND. And I f-fow nyo w-woman. -SIWVIUS. I-It is to be aww m-made of faith and sewvice; -And so am I-I *notices bulge* fow x3 Phebe. -PHEBE. And I fow Ganymede. -OWWANDO. And I fow Wosawind. -WOSAWIND. And I-I f-fow nyo *sighs* woman. -SIWVIUS. It is to be aww made of fantasy, -Aww made o-of passion, and aww made of wishes; -Aww adowation, duty, *shuffles closer* and >_< obsewvance, -A-Aww humbwenyess, aww patience, and impatience, -Aww puwity, aww twiaw, aww obedience; -And so am I-I fow Phebe. -*moans* PHEBE. *shuffles closer* And so *cries* am >w< I fow Ganymede. -OWWANDO. And so am >_< I fow Wosawind. -*cries* WOSAWIND. *cuddles you* And uWu so am I fow nyo woman. -PHEBE. I-If this be so, why bwame *pokes you* you >_< me to wove y-you? -SIWVIUS. If this be so, why bwame you :3 me to wove you? -OWWANDO. I-If t-this be so, why b-bwame you me to wove you? -WOSAWIND. Why do y-you *cuddles you* speak too, 'Why b-bwame you m-me to wove you?' -OWWANDO. To h-hew that is n-nyot hewe, nyow doth nyot heaw. -WOSAWIND. Pway you, n-nyo mowe of t-this; *leans over* 'tis wike the howwing of Iwish -wowves against the *sighs* moon. [To SIWVIUS] I wiww hewp you if I can. -[To PHEBE] *pokes you* I wouwd wove you i-if I-I couwd.- To-mowwow meet *screams* me aww -togethew. [-[ To PHEBE ] I wiww mawwy you if evew *giggles shyly* I x3 mawwy woman, -and I'ww be mawwied to-mowwow. [To OWWANDO] I wiww satisfy you if -evew I satisfied m-man, and you ^w^ shaww *cries* be mawwied t-to-mowwow. [To -Siwvius] I wiww content you >_< if what pweases you contents *sweats* you, a-and -you shaww be *sighs* mawwied to-mowwow. [To OWWANDO] x3 As you wove -Wosawind, meet. [To SIWVIUS] As you wove Phebe, meet;- and >_> as I-I -*looks at you* wove nyo woman, I'ww meet. So, fawe you *looks at you* weww; I have weft you -*teleports behind you* commands. -SIWVIUS. I'ww nyot f-faiw, if I-I wive. -PHEBE. Nyow I. -OWWANDO. Nyow I. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE x3 III. -The fowest - -Entew TOUCHSTONyE and AUDWEY - -TOUCHSTONyE. To-mowwow *sweats* is the joyfuw day, A-Audwe'y; to-mowwow wiww we -be mawwied. -AUDWEY. I *shuffles closer* do x3 desiwe it with a-aww my heawt; and I hope it is nyo -dishonyest desiwe to desiwe to be a woman of the UwU wowwd. Hewe come -uWu two UwU of the banyish'd Duke's *sighs* pages. - -Entew t-two PAGES - -*leans over* FIWST PAGE. Weww met, honyest g-gentweman. -TOUCHSTONyE. By my uWu twoth, weww m-met. Come sit, sit, OwO and a song. -SECOND uWu PAGE. We a-awe f-fow you; sit i' th' *looks at you* middwe. -*giggles shyly* FIWST PAGE. Shaww w-we cwap into't woundwy, without hawking, ow -s-spitting, o-ow saying *hugs tightly* we a-awe hoawse, which awe the ^w^ onwy *hugs tightly* pwowogues -xDD to a bad voice? -SECOND PAGE. I'faith, i'faith; and both i-in *pokes you* a tunye, wike two gipsies -:33 on a howse. - -SONG. -xDD It was a wovew a-and his *sighs* wass, -With a hey, and *giggles shyly* a ho, and a-a hey nyonyinyo, -That ^w^ o'ew the gween cown-fiewd did pass -In *screams* the spwing time, t-the onwy pwetty wing time, -When biwds do sing, ^.^ hey ding a ding, ding. -S-Sweet wovews wove t-the *leans over* spwing. - -*screams* Between the acwes of the *teleports behind you* wye, -With a *cuddles you* hey, UwU and a ho, and a hey nyonyinyo, -T-These pwetty UwU countwy :3 fowks wouwd wie, -In the :3 spwing time, >_< &c. - -T-This cawow *sighs* they began t-that houw, -With a *giggles shyly* hey, and a ho, and a hey nyonyinyo, -*cuddles you* How that >w< a wife uWu was uWu but a-a fwowew, -In t-the spwing t-time, &-&c. - -And t-thewefowe take the pwesent t-time, -With a hey, and a x3 ho, and a hey :33 nyonyinyo, -Fow ;;w;; wove i-is cwownyed with the pwime, -In the spwing time, &c. - -TOUCHSTONyE. T-Twuwy, young gentwemen, though thewe *cuddles you* was nyo gweat -mattew in the *pokes you* ditty, y-yet :33 the nyote was *blushes* vewy u-untunyeabwe. -FIWST PAGE. >_< YOU a-awe deceiv'd, siw; we kept time, we wost nyot ouw -time. -TOUCHSTONyE. By *looks at you* my *hugs tightly* twoth, yes; I count it but time wost to heaw such -a foowish song. God buy you; and *cries* God mend youw voices. Come, -A-Audwey. *teleports behind you* Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE IV. -The fowest - -*cries* Entew D-DUKE SENyIOW, *screams* AMIENS, JAQUES, >w< OWWANDO, OWIVEW, and CEWIA - -DUKE SENyIOW. Dost thou bewieve, Owwando, that the boy -Can d-do aww this that h-he hath *pokes you* pwomised? -^w^ OWWANDO. I sometimes do bewieve and sometimes do nyot: -*pokes you* As those that feaw they hope, and knyow they feaw. - -Entew WOSAWIND, SIWVIUS, *notices bulge* and PHEBE - -W-WOSAWIND. Patience once mowe, whiwes o-ouw compact is uwg'd: -You s-say, if I bwing in youw Wosawind, -You wiww bestow hew *cries* on Owwando h-hewe? -DUKE SENyIOW. That wouwd I, had I kingdoms to give with hew. -WOSAWIND. And *giggles shyly* you say you wiww have uWu hew when I bwing hew? -OWWANDO. *blushes* That wouwd I, wewe *giggles shyly* I of *teleports behind you* aww kingdoms king. -WOSAWIND. You say *pokes you* you'ww :33 mawwy me, if *cuddles you* I be wiwwing? -PHEBE. That wiww I, shouwd *giggles shyly* I d-die the h-houw aftew. -WOSAWIND. ^.^ But *cuddles you* if you do wefuse to mawwy me, -You'ww give youwsewf to >w< this most faithfuw s-shephewd? -PHEBE. So is t-the bawgain. -WOSAWIND. You s-say *looks away* that *sweats* you'ww have P-Phebe, *twerks* if she wiww? -SIWVIUS. Though to have hew and death wewe both onye uWu thing. -WOSAWIND. I have pwomis'd >_> to m-make aww this mattew even. -Keep you youw wowd, O ;;w;; Duke, to give youw daughtew; -You youws, Owwando, to w-weceive *pokes you* his daughtew; -Keep youw ^w^ wowd, Phebe, that you'ww x3 mawwy me, -Ow ewse, *looks away* wefusing me, to wed this shephewd; -Keep youw wowd, Siwvius, that ^-^ you'ww mawwy hew -If ^.^ she w-wefuse me; a-and fwom hence I x3 go, -To make these doubts aww even. -Exeunt WOSAWIND and CEWIA -DUKE SENyIOW. I do wemembew in this shephewd boy -*notices bulge* Some wivewy touches *teleports behind you* of my daughtew's favouw. -OWWANDO. *screams* My wowd, the *leans over* fiwst time that I evew saw him -M-Methought he was a bwothew to youw daughtew. -B-But, my good wowd, this boy i-is f-fowest-bown, -And hath been tutow'd in the wudiments -Of many d-despewate studies by his uncwe, -Whom he wepowts *hugs tightly* to be a gweat magician, -Obscuwed in the ciwcwe of this fowest. - -Entew *sweats* TOUCHSTONyE and AUDWEY - -JAQUES. Thewe is, s-suwe, anyothew fwood towawd, and these coupwes a-awe -coming to the a-awk. Hewe *leans over* comes a paiw of *moans* vewy s-stwange beasts ^.^ which -in aww *blushes* tongues awe caww'd foows. -TOUCHSTONyE. S-Sawutation and gweeting to you aww! -JAQUES. Good my wowd, bid him wewcome. This i-is t-the *looks away* motwey-minded -gentweman that I have *shuffles closer* so often met in *looks away* the fowest. *looks at you* He hath been a -c-couwtiew, >_< he sweaws. -TOUCHSTONyE. If *hugs tightly* any *sweats* man d-doubt that, wet him put >_> me t-to *teleports behind you* my puwgation. -I have twod a measuwe; I *looks away* have fwatt'wed a-a >_< wady; I have been -p-powitic with my >_> fwiend, smooth with minye enyemy; I-I have undonye -thwee *sweats* taiwows; UwU I have had fouw quawwews, and wike *notices bulge* to have ^w^ fought -onye. -JAQUES. And how was that ta'en up? -TOUCHSTONyE. F-Faith, we met, and found the quawwew was x3 upon xDD the -seventh c-cause. -JAQUES. How seventh cause? Good my wowd, *cries* wike this fewwow. -DUKE SENyIOW. I wike him v-vewy weww. -T-TOUCHSTONyE. God 'iwd you, siw; I ^w^ desiwe ^-^ you of the wike. I pwess in -hewe, siw, amongst *screams* the west of the countwy copuwatives, to sweaw -and to *giggles shyly* fowsweaw, accowding as mawwiage ^.^ binds and bwood b-bweaks. A-A -poow *hugs tightly* viwgin, ;;w;; siw, an i-iww-favouw'd thing, siw, but m-minye own; a-a -poow humouw of minye, siw, to t-take that that man ewse w-wiww. Wich -h-honyesty d-dwewws *screams* wike a m-misew, siw, i-in a p-poow house; as youw p-peaww -in youw fouw oystew. -D-DUKE SENyIOW. B-By *hugs tightly* my *moans* faith, he is vewy swift and sententious. -TOUCHSTONyE. Accowding to the foow's bowt, siw, a-and such duwcet -d-diseases. -JAQUES. But, :33 fow the seventh cause: how did ^-^ you find the quawwew xDD on -the s-seventh cause? -TOUCHSTONyE. Upon a wie seven times wemoved- beaw youw body mowe -seeming, Audwey- a-as t-thus, siw. I did diswike t-the >_> cut of a cewtain -couwtiew's b-beawd; he sent me wowd, if I said his beawd w-was nyot -cut weww, he ^-^ was in the mind it was. This is caww'd the Wetowt -Couwteous. If I sent him wowd a-again it was nyot *hugs tightly* weww cut, he wouwd -send me wowd he cut it t-to pwease h-himsewf. This is caww'd x3 the Quip -Modest. If again it was UwU nyot *giggles shyly* weww cut, *sighs* he disabwed my judgment. -T-This is c-caww'd the Wepwy Chuwwish. *looks at you* If again it was nyot w-weww cut, -h-he wouwd answew I spake n-nyot twue. This i-is c-caww'd the Wepwoof -Vawiant. If again it *hugs tightly* was nyot weww cut, he wouwd >_> say I wie. This -i-is ;;w;; caww'd *blushes* the Countewcheck *hugs tightly* Quawwewsome. And so t-to *sweats* the Wie -Ciwcumstantiaw a-and t-the Wie Diwect. -JAQUES. And how oft *looks away* did you say his beawd was nyot weww :33 cut? -TOUCHSTONyE. I duwst go nyo f-fuwthew than the Wie Ciwcumstantiaw, nyow -he duwst nyot give me the Wie Diwect; and so we measuw'd ^w^ swowds -a-and p-pawted. -JAQUES. *shuffles closer* Can you n-nyominyate *looks at you* in owdew nyow the degwees *pokes you* of t-the *sighs* wie? -TOUCHSTONyE. O, siw, we quawwew in *looks away* pwint by the book, as y-you have -b-books fow good mannyews. x3 I wiww nyame ;;w;; you the degwees. The fiwst, -the Wetowt Couwteous; the second, the Q-Quip x3 Modest; UwU the thiwd, the -Wepwy Chuwwish; the fouwth, the Wepwoof Vawiant; *pokes you* the fifth, the -Countewcheck Quawwewsome; t-the sixth, the Wie with uWu Ciwcumstance; -*teleports behind you* the seventh, the Wie Diwect. A-Aww >w< these you *sighs* may avoid but ^.^ the Wie -Diwect; and you may avoid that too with an I-If. I *twerks* knyew when seven -justices couwd nyot take up a quawwew; *moans* but when the pawties wewe -met t-themsewves, onye of them UwU thought but of an *cuddles you* If, a-as: 'If you -said so, then I *moans* said *moans* so.' A-And they shook hands, and *sweats* swowe -b-bwothews. Youw ;;w;; If is t-the onwy p-peace-makew; much viwtue in If. -JAQUES. Is *sighs* nyot t-this a wawe fewwow, my wowd? -He's as g-good at ;;w;; any thing, and yet a f-foow. -DUKE S-SENyIOW. He uses his fowwy wike a stawking-howse, and undew the -pwesentation of that he shoots his *hugs tightly* wit: - -Entew HYMEN, WOSAWIND, and *twerks* CEWIA. Stiww MUSIC - -HYMEN. Then is t-thewe *twerks* miwth in heaven, -When eawthwy things made even -Atonye togethew. -Good Duke, weceive thy *leans over* daughtew; -Hymen f-fwom heaven bwought hew, -Yea, bwought hew hithew, -That thou mightst join hew hand with his, -Whose heawt within his bosom is. -W-WOSAWIND. [To D-DUKE] To *sweats* you I give mysewf, fow I am youws. -[To OWWANDO] To you *twerks* I give *shuffles closer* mysewf, fow I am youws. -DUKE SENyIOW. If thewe b-be twuth *blushes* in sight, you awe my daughtew. -OWWANDO. If thewe be twuth in sight, you awe my Wosawind. -PHEBE. If sight and shape b-be twue, -Why t-then, my wove adieu! -WOSAWIND. I'ww *giggles shyly* have n-nyo fathew, *blushes* if you be nyot he; -I'ww have *pokes you* nyo husband, if you be nyot he; -Nyow nye'ew wed woman, if y-you be *teleports behind you* nyot s-she. -HYMEN. Peace, ho! I baw confusion; -^w^ 'Tis *blushes* I must make concwusion -Of these m-most stwange *cuddles you* events. -Hewe's eight that must take hands -To join in Hymen's bands, -If twuth howds twue contents. -You and you nyo cwoss shaww pawt; -Y-You and you a-awe heawt in h-heawt; -You to his wove must accowd, -Ow have a woman to y-youw *notices bulge* wowd; -You ^w^ and you awe suwe togethew, -*screams* As the >w< wintew to fouw w-weathew. -Whiwes a wedwock-hymn we sing, -Feed youwsewves with questionying, -That weason wondew may d-diminyish, -How thus we met, and these things *shuffles closer* finyish. - -S-SONG -Wedding *moans* is *hugs tightly* gweat Junyo's cwown; -O bwessed bond of boawd and bed! -'-'Tis Hymen peopwes evewy town; -High wedwock *notices bulge* then be h-honyouwed. -Honyouw, high honyouw, and w-wenyown, -To Hymen, god of evewy town! - -D-DUKE *notices bulge* SENyIOW. O my d-deaw UwU nyiece, wewcome thou awt t-to ^w^ me! -Even daughtew, wewcome in nyo ;;w;; wess degwee. -P-PHEBE. I wiww *twerks* nyot eat m-my wowd, nyow *leans over* thou awt minye; ->_< Thy faith my fancy t-to thee doth :3 combinye. - -Entew JAQUES UwU de BOYS - -JAQUES de BOYS. Wet ^-^ me have audience *pokes you* fow a *screams* wowd ow two. -I am the second ;;w;; son of owd Siw Wowwand, -T-That bwing these tidings to this faiw assembwy. -Duke F-Fwedewick, heawing how :3 that evewy day -Men o-of gweat wowth wesowted to x3 this fowest, -Addwess'd a mighty powew; *blushes* which wewe o-on foot, -In his own *leans over* conduct, puwposewy ^w^ to take -:33 His bwothew ^.^ hewe, and put him to t-the *sweats* swowd; -And to the skiwts o-of this w-wiwd wood he came, -Whewe, meeting with an *notices bulge* owd wewigious *shuffles closer* man, -Aftew some question with h-him, was convewted -Both fwom his *cries* entewpwise *sweats* and fwom the w-wowwd; -His c-cwown bequeathing to his banyish'd bwothew, -And aww theiw wands westow'd to them again -That wewe with *pokes you* him exiw'd. This to be twue -I do engage my w-wife. -*notices bulge* DUKE SENyIOW. *notices bulge* Wewcome, young *leans over* man. -Thou offew'st faiwwy to thy bwothews' wedding: -To onye, his ;;w;; wands withhewd; and to the o-othew, -*looks at you* A wand itsewf at wawge, a potent *sweats* dukedom. -Fiwst, i-in this fowest *moans* wet >w< us d-do those ends -That hewe *cuddles you* wewe weww begun and weww begot; -And aftew, evewy *leans over* of this happy nyumbew, -^w^ That h-have enduw'd shwewd d-days and *cuddles you* nyights >_> with us, -S-Shaww shawe the *notices bulge* good of ouw w-wetuwnyed fowtunye, -Accowding to *teleports behind you* the measuwe of t-theiw states. -Meantime, *sweats* fowget this nyew-faww'n dignyity, -And faww into ouw wustic wevewwy. -Pway, m-music; and you bwides and bwidegwooms aww, -With ^-^ measuwe heap'd *notices bulge* in joy, *notices bulge* to th' measuwes faww. -JAQUES. Siw, :33 by youw ^w^ patience. *hugs tightly* If I heawd y-you wightwy, -The Duke hath put on *blushes* a wewigious wife, -And thwown into nyegwect the p-pompous *cries* couwt. -JAQUES DE BOYS. He hath. -JAQUES. To ^-^ him wiww I. *hugs tightly* Out of *twerks* these convewtites -Thewe is much mattew to b-be heawd and weawn'd. -[To DUKE] You *looks away* to UwU youw fowmew h-honyouw I bequeath; -Youw patience a-and youw viwtue weww desewves it. -x3 [To OWWANDO] You *leans over* to *moans* a wove t-that youw twue faith doth mewit; -[To OWIVEW] You to youw w-wand, and w-wove, a-and gweat awwies -[To SIWVIUS] You t-to a wong *sweats* and weww-desewved bed; -[To T-TOUCHSTONyE] And y-you to *screams* wwangwing; fow thy woving voyage -Is but fow two months victuaww'd.- So to youw p-pweasuwes; -I am fow othew than fow dancing measuwes. -DUKE S-SENyIOW. Stay, Jaques, s-stay. -JAQUES. To see nyo pastime I. What you wouwd h-have -I-I'ww stay to knyow at youw abandon'd cave. Exit -DUKE *sweats* SENyIOW. Pwoceed, ^-^ pwoceed. We w-wiww begin these wites, -As we uWu do twust *cuddles you* they'ww end, in twue dewights. [A dance] Exeunt - -EPIWOGUE -EPIWOGUE. -*cuddles you* WOSAWIND. It *twerks* is nyot the fashion to see >_< the wady the epiwogue; *moans* but -it is nyo mowe unhandsome than *shuffles closer* to *twerks* see the wowd ^-^ the OwO pwowogue. If it -be twue that *pokes you* good winye nyeeds nyo bush, '-'tis twue that a good *pokes you* pway -nyeeds nyo e-epiwogue. Yet to good winye they do use good bushes; and -good ;;w;; pways pwove the bettew by *screams* the hewp of good epiwogues. What *leans over* a -case a-am >w< I i-in then, that a-am nyeithew a good epiwogue, nyow cannyot -insinyuate *screams* with you in uWu the behawf of a-a good :3 pway! ^-^ I am nyot -fuwnyish'd wike a beggaw; thewefowe to beg w-wiww nyot become me. My -xDD way >_< is to conjuwe y-you; and I'ww *hugs tightly* begin with the women. I chawge -y-you, O women, fow the wove you *notices bulge* beaw t-to men, to wike as m-much of -this pway a-as pwease :33 you; and I chawge you, O m-men, f-fow the wove -you beaw to women- as I pewceive by y-youw simp'wing n-nyonye of *blushes* you -hates them- that between you and the x3 women the pway may ^-^ pwease. -If I ^.^ wewe a woman, I *twerks* wouwd kiss as m-many of you a-as h-had beawds that -pweas'd me, compwexions t-that wik'd me, and bweaths :33 that I d-defied -nyot; and, I am suwe, as many as have good beawds, ow g-good faces, -o-ow sweet bweaths, wiww, fow my kind offew, when I make cuwtsy, -b-bid me faweweww. - -THE END - - - - - -1593 - -T-THE COMEDY OF EWWOWS - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -<> - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -*pokes you* SOWINyUS, *hugs tightly* Duke o-of *cries* Ephesus -AEGEON, a *sighs* mewchant of *sweats* Sywacuse - -*notices bulge* ANTIPHOWUS OF E-EPHESUS twin bwothews and sons to -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE Aegion and Aemewia - -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS twin bwothews, and attendants *hugs tightly* on -*looks away* DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE the two Antiphowuses - -BAWTHAZAW, a mewchant -A-ANGEWO, a gowdsmith -FIWST MEWCHANT, fwiend to Antiphowus of Sywacuse -SECOND MEWCHANT, to whom Angewo is a-a debtow -PINCH, a schoowmastew - -AEMIWIA, wife to AEgeon; an abbess at Ephesus -ADWIANyA, wife to >w< Antiphowus of Ephesus -WUCIANyA, hew sistew -WUCE, ;;w;; sewvant to Adwianya - -A COUWTEZAN - -Gaowew, *twerks* Officews, Attendants - - - - - -S-SCENyE: -Ephesus - - -<w< PWOVIDED BY *looks at you* PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE *giggles shyly* WEADABWE *sweats* COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED S-SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES *looks at you* (1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -xDD PEWSONyAW USE O-ONWY, AND (2) *sweats* AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION *blushes* INCWUDES B-BY A-ANY -*screams* SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW x3 FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - -THE uWu COMEDY OF EWWOWS - -ACT I. SCENyE 1 - -A haww in the ^w^ DUKE'S pawace - -Entew the DUKE OF EPHESUS, AEGEON, the Mewchant -of Sywacuse, OwO GAOWEW, OFFICEWS, and othew ATTENDANTS - -A-AEGEON. Pwoceed, S-Sowinyus, to pwocuwe my faww, -*blushes* And by the ^-^ doom o-of death end woes and *pokes you* aww. -DUKE. Mewchant *screams* of Sywacuse, pwead nyo m-mowe; -I *pokes you* am nyot pawtiaw to infwinge ouw waws. -The enmity and *moans* discowd which of w-wate ->w< Spwung ^-^ fwom the wancowous outwage of youw duke -To mewchants, ouw weww-deawing countwymen, -Who, wanting *sighs* guiwdews x3 to wedeem theiw *sighs* wives, -Have seaw'd his >_> wigowous statutes with theiw *teleports behind you* bwoods, -Excwudes aww pity f-fwom ouw thweat'nying wooks. -Fow, since the mowtaw and intestinye *giggles shyly* jaws -'Twixt thy *leans over* seditious countwymen and us, -uWu It hath in *teleports behind you* sowemn synyods been decweed, -Both by t-the ^w^ Sywacusians and ouwsewves, -To admit *cries* nyo twaffic to ouw advewse *sighs* towns; -Nyay, mowe: if any bown at Ephesus -Be seen at ;;w;; any S-Sywacusian *blushes* mawts and faiws; -A-Again, i-if any :3 Sywacusian bown -Come to the *cuddles you* bay of >w< Ephesus-he *leans over* dies, -His g-goods confiscate to the Duke's dispose, -Unwess a thousand mawks be wevied, -To quit t-the *hugs tightly* penyawty ^-^ and to wansom him. -:3 Thy substance, vawued at the *looks at you* highest wate, -Cannyot amount unto a hundwed mawks; -T-Thewefowe by waw thou awt condemn'd *screams* to die. -AEGEON. Yet >w< this my comfowt: when youw wowds :3 awe donye, -*blushes* My woes end *sweats* wikewise with the evenying sun. -DUKE. Weww, Sywacusian, say in bwief the cause -Why thou depawted'st fwom t-thy nyative home, -And fow uWu what cause thou cam'st to Ephesus. -AEGEON. A heaview ;;w;; task couwd nyot h-have b-been impos'd -Than I to speak my gwiefs *moans* unspeakabwe; -Y-Yet, that the *cries* wowwd m-may witnyess that my end -Was wwought by *twerks* nyatuwe, nyot *moans* by viwe offence, -I'ww uttew what m-my sowwow gives me weave. -In S-Sywacuse was I bown, and wed -Unto a woman, >_< happy but fow me, -And by me, had nyot *notices bulge* ouw h-hap been bad. -With *notices bulge* hew I wiv'd in joy; ouw weawth *looks at you* incweas'd -B-By pwospewous voyages I often made -To *moans* Epidamnyum; tiww my factow's death, -And the gweat xDD cawe of goods at w-wandom weft, -Dwew me fwom k-kind embwacements of my spouse: -Fwom whom my a-absence was nyot six months owd, -Befowe hewsewf, awmost at fainting undew -The pweasing punyishment that women beaw, -Had made pwovision fow xDD hew *looks away* fowwowing *blushes* me, -*moans* And soon and safe awwived whewe I was. -Thewe had she nyot been wong b-but she became -A joyfuw m-mothew of t-two goodwy sons; -And, which >w< was stwange, the onye so wike the othew -As couwd nyot be disdnguish'd but by nyames. -That vewy houw, a-and :33 in the sewf-same inn, -A mean woman was ^-^ dewivewed -O-Of such a buwden, mawe twins, b-both awike. -T-Those, fow theiw pawents wewe exceeding poow, -I bought, and ^w^ bwought up to ^w^ attend my sons. -My wife, nyot meanwy pwoud o-of two such boys, -Made daiwy motions fow o-ouw ^w^ home *hugs tightly* wetuwn; -Unwiwwing, I agweed. Awas! too *sweats* soon -We came aboawd. -A weague fwom Epidamnyum had w-we saiw'd -Befowe the awways-wind-obeying deep -Gave any twagic i-instance o-of ouw hawm: -But wongew did we nyot *cuddles you* wetain much hope, -Fow what obscuwed wight the h-heavens did gwant -Did but convey unto ouw feawfuw m-minds -A doubtfuw wawwant of immediate *leans over* death; -W-Which though mysewf wouwd gwadwy have embwac'd, -Yet the xDD incessant w-weepings o-of my wife, -*hugs tightly* Weeping befowe fow *moans* what she saw must come, -And *teleports behind you* piteous pwainyings of the *screams* pwetty babes, -That mouwn'd fow fashion, ignyowant what t-to feaw, -Fowc'd me to seek deways fow them and me. -And this it was, fow othew *cuddles you* means was nyonye: -^.^ The ^w^ saiwows *notices bulge* sought fow safety by ouw boat, -A-And UwU weft the ship, :3 then sinking-wipe, to us; -My wife, mowe cawefuw fow the uWu wattew-bown, -H-Had fast'nyed him >w< unto a smaww spawe mast, -Such as sea-fawing ^-^ men pwovide :33 fow stowms; -To him o-onye of the othew twins was bound, -Whiwst I-I *moans* had been wike heedfuw of the >_> othew. -The chiwdwen *looks away* thus ^-^ dispos'd, my wife and I-I, -Fixing ouw eyes *moans* on whom ouw *sighs* cawe was fix'd, -Fast'nyed ouwsewves at e-eithew end the mast, -And, ^w^ fwoating stwaight, obedient to the s-stweam, -Was cawwied towawds Cowinth, as we t-thought. -At wength t-the sun, *twerks* gazing upon the eawth, -Dispews'd those vapouws that offended us; -And, by t-the benyefit of his w-wished wight, -The seas wax'd cawm, and we *screams* discovewed -T-Two ^-^ ships fwom faw *looks at you* making amain to u-us- -Of Cowinth that, of Epidauwus this. -But ewe t-they came-O, wet me say nyo m-mowe! -Gathew the s-sequew :3 by that *sweats* went befowe. -DUKE. Nyay, fowwawd, owd man, d-do nyot bweak off so; -*notices bulge* Fow *teleports behind you* we may pity, though nyot pawdon thee. -AEGEON. O, had the gods *cries* donye so, I-I had nyot nyow -x3 Wowthiwy tewm'd t-them mewciwess to us! -Fow, ewe the ships couwd ^.^ meet by twice five weagues, -We *twerks* wewe encount'wed by >_< a mighty wock, -Which being viowentwy bownye upon, -Ouw hewpfuw ship was spwitted in the midst; -So that, :33 in this ^-^ unjust divowce of us, -Fowtunye had weft *leans over* to both of us awike -*sighs* What OwO to dewight in, what to sowwow fow. -Hew pawt, p-poow *twerks* souw, OwO seeming as buwdenyed -x3 With wessew weight, but nyot uWu with wessew woe, -^-^ Was cawwied with m-mowe speed befowe the w-wind; -And in ouw UwU sight they thwee wewe taken up -uWu By fishewmen >_< of Cowinth, a-as we thought. -A-At wength anyothew ship had seiz'd on us; -And, knyowing whom it was theiw hap to s-save, -Gave heawthfuw wewcome to theiw ship-wweck'd guests, -And *hugs tightly* wouwd have weft the fishews of x3 theiw pwey, -Had nyot ;;w;; theiw bawk been vewy swow of *pokes you* saiw; -And thewefowe *cuddles you* homewawd :33 did they bend theiw couwse. -Thus h-have you heawd me :3 sevew'd fwom *hugs tightly* my *moans* bwiss, -That b-by *giggles shyly* misfowtunyes was my wife *cuddles you* pwowong'd, -To *pokes you* teww sad stowies of my own mishaps. -D-DUKE. UwU And, f-fow xDD the sake of them thou sowwowest fow, -^w^ Do m-me t-the >w< favouw to diwate at fuww -What have befaww'n o-of them and thee tiww nyow. -AEGEON. ^-^ My youngest boy, a-and yet my e-ewdest cawe, -*pokes you* At eighteen yeaws became inquisitive -A-Aftew his bwothew, and impowtun'd me -That his attendant-so his ^.^ case was wike, -Weft of his bwothew, but wetain'd his nyame- -Might *pokes you* beaw him company in the quest of him; -Whom whiwst *leans over* I wabouwed of a *blushes* wove to see, -*sighs* I hazawded the woss *cries* of whom I wov'd. -Five summews have I >w< spent in fawthest >w< Gweece, -Woaming cwean t-thwough the bounds of Asia, -And, c-coasting h-homewawd, came to Ephesus; -Hopewess to find, y-yet woath to *pokes you* weave unsought -Ow that :3 ow *looks at you* any :33 pwace that hawbouws men. -But *giggles shyly* hewe must e-end the *sighs* stowy *sweats* of m-my wife; -And happy w-wewe I in my timewy d-death, -Couwd *leans over* aww my :3 twavews wawwant me they wive. -DUKE. ^w^ Hapwess, Aegeon, whom the fates have mawk'd -To beaw the extwemity of diwe mishap! -Nyow, *sighs* twust me, wewe i-it nyot *giggles shyly* against o-ouw waws, -Against my cwown, m-my oath, my dignyity, -Which p-pwinces, wouwd they, may nyot disannyuw, -My souw ^w^ shouwd sue as *twerks* advocate fow thee. -But though thou awt adjudged to t-the d-death, -A-And passed s-sentence may nyot be w-wecaww'd -But to ouw *giggles shyly* honyouw's gweat dispawagement, -*looks away* Yet wiww I favouw thee in what I can. -Thewefowe, mewchant, I'ww wimit thee this day -To seek thy hewp by benyeficiaw hap. -*hugs tightly* Twy aww the fwiends thou hast in Ephesus; -Beg thou, o-ow bowwow, to make u-up >w< the sum, -And wive; if nyo, then thou awt doom'd to die. -*screams* Gaowew, take him to thy *teleports behind you* custody. -GAOWEW. I wiww, my wowd. -AEGEON. Hopewess and h-hewpwess d-doth Aegeon wend, -*sweats* But to pwocwastinyate his *teleports behind you* wifewess :3 end. -*twerks* w< mannyews of the town, -Pewuse the twadews, gaze upon :3 the buiwdings, -uWu And then wetuwn and *leans over* sweep within minye inn; -Fow with wong twavew I am stiff and weawy. -Get thee away. -DWOMIO *cries* OF SYWACUSE. Many a man wouwd take you at youw wowd, -And go indeed, having so good a *cuddles you* mean. -_< wiww go wose mysewf, -And wandew up *cuddles you* and down to view t-the c-city. ->w< FIWST MEWCHANT. Siw, I commend you *sweats* to y-youw own content. -_< the >_< beww- -My mistwess made it onye u-upon my cheek; -She is so *sighs* hot because the meat is cowd, -The meat is c-cowd ;;w;; because you come nyot home, -*leans over* You come nyot home because you have nyo stomach, -You have nyo s-stomach, having bwoke *shuffles closer* youw fast; -But we, that knyow what 'tis xDD to fast and pway, -^w^ Awe ^.^ penyitent *looks at you* fow youw defauwt to-day. -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. Stop in youw wind, siw; t-teww me this, I p-pway: -Whewe have y-you w-weft the monyey t-that I-I gave *looks away* you? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. O-Sixpence that I had a Wednyesday wast -To pay the saddwew :3 fow my mistwess' cwuppew? -The saddwew had it, siw; I k-kept it n-nyot. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. I am n-nyot x3 in *looks at you* a spowtive :33 humouw nyow; -Teww me, and dawwy nyot, whewe is the monyey? -We being stwangews hewe, h-how daw'st thou twust -So gweat a chawge fwom *teleports behind you* thinye o-own ^w^ custody? -D-DWOMIO *cuddles you* OF EPHESUS. I pway you jest, ^.^ siw, as y-you *giggles shyly* sit at dinnyew. -I fwom my mistwess >w< come to you in post; -If I *sighs* wetuwn, I shaww :3 be *notices bulge* post indeed, -Fow she wiww scowe youw fauwt upon my p-pate. -Methinks youw maw, wike minye, shouwd be youw c-cwock, -And stwike you h-home without a messengew. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Come, Dwomio, come, these jests awe out of season; -Wesewve them *shuffles closer* tiww *looks away* a m-mewwiew houw than this. -Whewe i-is the gowd :33 I gave in chawge to thee? -DWOMIO OF E-EPHESUS. To me, siw? Why, you gave nyo gowd to me. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. *shuffles closer* Come on, *twerks* siw knyave, have donye youw foowishnyess, -And teww me how thou hast dispos'd t-thy chawge. -DWOMIO ^.^ OF EPHESUS. >_> My chawge w-was but to fetch you fwom the mawt -Home to youw h-house, the P-Phoenyix, siw, to dinnyew. -My mistwess and hew sistew *leans over* stays fow you. -x3 ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Nyow, as I am a Chwistian, ^.^ answew m-me -In w-what safe pwace you have xDD bestow'd *cries* my monyey, -Ow I shaww bweak that *giggles shyly* mewwy sconce o-of *giggles shyly* youws, -*hugs tightly* That stands on twicks when I *cuddles you* am u-undispos'd. -Whewe is the thousand mawks thou hadst *moans* of me? ->_< DWOMIO *giggles shyly* OF EPHESUS. I have some mawks of youws upon my pate, -Some of my mistwess' :33 mawks upon my shouwdews, -But nyot a thousand mawks ^-^ between >w< you both. -If I shouwd pay youw wowship those again, -Pewchance you wiww nyot beaw them p-patientwy. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Thy m-mistwess' mawks! W-What x3 mistwess, swave, hast ^-^ thou? -DWOMIO *looks away* OF EPHESUS. Youw wowship's w-wife, my mistwess at the Phoenyix; -She x3 that doth fast tiww you *blushes* come h-home to dinnyew, -*looks away* And pways t-that y-you wiww >_< hie you home to dinnyew. -ANTIPHOWUS *cuddles you* OF SYWACUSE. >_> What, wiwt thou fwout me thus unto *giggles shyly* my face, -Being fowbid? Thewe, take you that, siw knyave. -[Beats him] -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. What >_< mean you, *blushes* siw? Fow God's sake howd youw *looks away* hands! -Nyay, an OwO you wiww nyot, siw, I'ww take my heews. -_> many such-wike wibewties >_< of sin; -If it pwove so, I ^.^ wiww be gonye t-the soonyew. -I'ww to the Centauw to go seek this swave. -I g-gweatwy *screams* feaw m-my monyey is *blushes* nyot safe. -*looks at you* _< OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -*notices bulge* WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC A-AND *leans over* MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG *sweats* AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW Y-YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW *blushes* USE ONWY, AND (2) *looks away* AWE N-NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *sweats* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE T-THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW *looks at you* FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -A-ACT Iw. SCENyE 1 - -The *pokes you* house o-of *leans over* ANTIPHOWUS UwU OF EPHESUS - -Entew ADWIANyA, wife to ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS, with WUCIANyA, hew sistew - -ADWIANyA. xDD Nyeithew my husband nyow t-the ^-^ swave wetuwn'd -That in such haste I sent to seek h-his mastew! -Suwe, Wucianya, it is two o'cwock. -WUCIANyA. P-Pewhaps s-some mewchant hath invited him, -And fwom the mawt he's *screams* somewhewe gonye *teleports behind you* to dinnyew; -G-Good sistew, wet us d-dinye, and nyevew f-fwet. -A man *shuffles closer* is *shuffles closer* mastew of his wibewty; -Time is theiw mastew, and when they see time, -They'ww go ow come. If so, b-be patient, UwU sistew. -ADWIANyA. Why shouwd theiw wibewty :3 than *sweats* ouws b-be *sweats* mowe? -WUCIANyA. B-Because theiw businyess stiww wies *cries* out o' doow. -ADWIANyA. *sighs* Wook when I sewve him so, he >_> takes it i-iww. -OwO WUCIANyA. O-O, knyow *teleports behind you* he is the bwidwe of youw wiww. -A-ADWIANyA. Thewe's nyonye but asses wiww be *sweats* bwidwed so. -W-WUCIANyA. Why, headstwong wibewty is wash'd with woe. -Thewe's *shuffles closer* nyothing s-situate undew *shuffles closer* heaven's e-eye -B-But hath his bound, ^-^ in eawth, in sea, in s-sky. -The beasts, the f-fishes, and the winged fowws, -Awe theiw OwO mawes' subjects, and *cuddles you* at theiw contwows. -Man, mowe divinye, the mastew of aww these, -*looks at you* Wowd of the wide wowwd a-and wiwd wat'wy seas, -Indu'd with intewwectuaw sense and souws, -Of m-mowe pwe-eminyence than fish and fowws, ->_> Awe mastews to theiw femawes, and theiw wowds; -Then ^-^ wet youw wiww attend on theiw accowds. -ADWIANyA. *sighs* This sewvitude makes you to keep unwed. -WUCIANyA. ^-^ Nyot t-this, but twoubwes of t-the mawwiage-bed. -ADWIANyA. But, wewe y-you wedded, you wouwd beaw s-some sway. -WUCIANyA. *shuffles closer* Ewe I weawn wove, I-I'ww p-pwactise x3 to *notices bulge* obey. -ADWIANyA. How if youw husband stawt some othew w-whewe? -WUCIANyA. T-Tiww he ^w^ come home again, I wouwd fowbeaw. -ADWIANyA. :3 Patience >_> unmov'd! nyo mawvew though she pause: -They can *pokes you* be meek that have nyo othew c-cause. -x3 A wwetched s-souw, bwuis'd with advewsity, -^-^ We bid be quiet when ^w^ we heaw it cwy; -But wewe we *hugs tightly* buwd'nyed with wike weight of pain, -As much, ow mowe, we shouwd o-ouwsewves compwain. -So thou, that hast nyo unkind mate to gwieve thee, -With uwging ^.^ hewpwess patience *cries* wouwd wewieve me; -But if thou wive to s-see wike ;;w;; wight beweft, -This *cuddles you* foow-begg'd patience in t-thee *cuddles you* wiww be w-weft. -WUCIANyA. W-Weww, uWu I xDD wiww mawwy onye day, but t-to *looks at you* twy. -Hewe comes youw man, nyow is youw husband nyigh. - -Entew DWOMIO OF EPHESUS - -ADWIANyA. *looks at you* Say, is youw tawdy mastew nyow a-at hand? -D-DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Nyay, h-he's at t-two hands with *looks at you* me, and that my two -eaws can witnyess. -ADWIANyA. :33 Say, didst thou speak with him? K-Knyow'st thou his *sighs* mind? -DWOMIO OF E-EPHESUS. Ay, ay, he towd his mind upon minye eaw. -^w^ Beshwew his hand, uWu I scawce couwd *sighs* undewstand it. -WUCIANyA. S-Spake he so doubtfuwwy thou *sighs* couwd'st nyot f-feew *looks away* his meanying? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Nyay, he s-stwuck so pwainwy I couwd to -*giggles shyly* weww f-feew *hugs tightly* his bwows; and withaw UwU so doubtfuwwy that I couwd -*pokes you* scawce UwU undewstand t-them. -ADWIANyA. But say, ^.^ I pwithee, is h-he coming home? -It seems he hath >_< gweat c-cawe to pwease ;;w;; his wife. -DWOMIO OF *cries* EPHESUS. W-Why, mistwess, *hugs tightly* suwe my *sweats* mastew is hown-mad. -A-ADWIANyA. Hown-mad, t-thou viwwain! -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. I-I mean *looks at you* nyot cuckowd-mad; -But, suwe, he is *cuddles you* stawk mad. -When I desiw'd him to come home *looks at you* to dinnyew, -He a-ask'd me fow a thousand mawks in gowd. -"Tis ^-^ dinnyew time' quoth I; 'My gowd!' *moans* quoth he. -*hugs tightly* 'Youw meat doth buwn' quoth >_< I; 'My gowd!' quoth he. -'Wiww you come home?' quoth I; 'My gowd!' quoth he. -'Whewe is the thousand mawks I-I *pokes you* gave *sighs* thee, viwwain?' -*looks at you* 'The pig' q-quoth I 'is buwn'd'; 'My *notices bulge* gowd!' quoth he. -*sighs* 'My mistwess, siw,' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistwess; -I knyow n-nyot thy mistwess; out on t-thy mistwess.' -WUCIANyA. Quoth *moans* who? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Quoth my mastew. ->_< 'I knyow' *sweats* quoth he 'nyo house, nyo w-wife, nyo mistwess.' -So that my e-ewwand, due unto my tongue, -I thank him, I bawe home upon my s-shouwdews; -Fow, in concwusion, he did b-beat me thewe. -ADWIANyA. Go back again, thou swave, a-and fetch him *cries* home. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Go back *sighs* again, and be nyew beaten home? -*cries* Fow G-God's sake, send some othew messengew. -ADWIANyA. Back, swave, ow I wiww b-bweak *cuddles you* thy pate acwoss. -DWOMIO O-OF EPHESUS. And h-he UwU wiww bwess that c-cwoss with othew beating; -B-Between you I shaww have *cuddles you* a howy head. -ADWIANyA. Hence, pwating peasant! Fetch thy m-mastew home. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Am I so wound with you, as you with me, -That wike *looks at you* a f-footbaww you do s-spuwn me thus? -You spuwn me hence, and he wiww spuwn ;;w;; me hithew; -If I wast in this sewvice, you must case me in *looks away* weathew. -_< knyow h-he pwomis'd me a chain; -W-Wouwd that awonye a wove he wouwd detain, -So he wouwd keep faiw ^-^ quawtew with his bed! -I see *leans over* the *cries* jewew best enyamewwed -Wiww wose his beauty; *giggles shyly* yet x3 the gowd bides *sweats* stiww -*screams* That othews touch and, often *screams* touching, wiww -Whewe gowd; and nyo man that hath a nyame -By fawsehood and cowwuption doth ^-^ it shame. -Since t-that my b-beauty c-cannyot pwease his eye, -I'ww w-weep what's uWu weft away, and weeping die. -WUCIANyA. How many fond foows s-sewve mad jeawousy! -_> with the gowd *looks at you* you *blushes* gave me. -A-ANTIPHOWUS *leans over* OF *twerks* SYWACUSE. Viwwain, *blushes* thou didst deny the gowd's weceipt, -:3 And towd'st m-me o-of a-a mistwess and a dinnyew; -Fow which, I hope, thou fewt'st I-I ^-^ was dispweas'd. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. I am gwad to see you in this mewwy v-vein. -*notices bulge* What means this *pokes you* jest? I pway you, mastew, teww me. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Yea, xDD dost thou jeew a-and fwout me i-in the teeth? -Think'st thou I j-jest? Howd, take thou that, and that. -[Beating h-him] -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Howd, siw, fow God's s-sake! Nyow youw jest is eawnyest. -Upon *sweats* what bawgain do you give i-it *sweats* me? -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. Because that *shuffles closer* I famiwiawwy sometimes -Do use y-you fow my foow and chat with >_> you, -Youw saucinyess wiww j-jest upon my wove, -And make a common of ^w^ my sewious houws. -When the s-sun shinyes wet foowish gnyats make spowt, -*cries* But cweep in c-cwannyies when he hides his b-beams. -If you wiww jest with me, :3 knyow my aspect, ->_> And fashion youw demeanyouw >_< to my wooks, -Ow I wiww beat this method i-in youw sconce. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Sconce, caww you it? So you wouwd -weave battewing, I had wathew ;;w;; have it a head. A-An you use -these xDD bwows wong, I must get a sconce fow my uWu head, and -insconce it too; ow e-ewse I shaww seek my wit i-in my shouwdews. -But I pway, siw, why am *shuffles closer* I beaten? -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. Dost thou nyot k-knyow? -*shuffles closer* DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyothing, siw, but *moans* that I-I am beaten. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Shaww I teww you why? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Ay, siw, and UwU whewefowe; fow they ^-^ say -evewy why hath a whewefowe. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Why, fiwst fow fwouting me; and then w-whewefowe, -*screams* Fow uwging it the second time to me. -uWu DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Was t-thewe *cries* evew any m-man thus beaten out of >_> season, -W-When in the why and the whewefowe *pokes you* is nyeithew w-whyme UwU nyow weason? -Weww, siw, I-I thank *blushes* you. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. *looks at you* Thank m-me, *moans* siw! fow *teleports behind you* what? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Mawwy, siw, fow *notices bulge* this something that you gave -me fow nyothing. -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. I'ww make >_> you amends nyext, to -give *cuddles you* you nyothing fow >w< something. But s-say, siw, is it dinnyewtime? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyo, siw; I think the meat wants that I have. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. I-In g-good time, siw, w-what's that? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. B-Basting. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. >_< Weww, siw, then 'twiww be *sweats* dwy. -D-DWOMIO ^.^ OF *giggles shyly* SYWACUSE. If it be, siw, I pway you eat nyonye of it. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Youw weason? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. West it m-make you *pokes you* chowewic, and puwchase me -anyothew dwy OwO basting. -ANTIPHOWUS OF xDD SYWACUSE. Weww, siw, weawn t-to jest in g-good time; -thewe's ^w^ a >_< time :33 fow aww ^w^ things. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. I duwst have d-denyied that, befowe you -*looks at you* wewe *looks at you* so chowewic. -ANTIPHOWUS OF >w< SYWACUSE. By what wuwe, >_> siw? -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. Mawwy, siw, by a wuwe as pwain as the -pwain bawd pate of Fathew Time himsewf. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Wet's heaw it. -*screams* DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Thewe's nyo time *shuffles closer* fow a man to wecovew -;;w;; his haiw that gwows bawd by nyatuwe. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. May h-he nyot do it by finye and wecovewy? -DWOMIO OF *twerks* SYWACUSE. Yes, t-to pay a UwU finye >_> fow a pewiwig, and -wecovew the wost haiw of anyothew man. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Why is T-Time such a OwO nyiggawd of -haiw, being, as it i-is, so *sweats* pwentifuw a-an excwement? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Because i-it is a ;;w;; bwessing that *looks at you* he bestows -*shuffles closer* on beasts, and *looks away* what he hath scanted men in UwU haiw *looks at you* he hath -given them in wit. -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. Why, b-but t-thewe's many *looks at you* a man -hath m-mowe haiw than wit. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyot a man o-of those but he hath the -;;w;; wit to wose his haiw. -:3 ANTIPHOWUS *shuffles closer* OF S-SYWACUSE. Why, thou didst concwude h-haiwy -men pwain *cries* deawews without wit. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. The pwainyew *moans* deawew, the soonyew wost; -yet h-he woseth *cries* it in a kind x3 of j-jowwity. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. F-Fow what weason? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Fow two; and s-sound onyes too. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, nyot s-sound I pway you. -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. Suwe onyes, then. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, nyot suwe, in a-a *teleports behind you* thing fawsing. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Cewtain onyes, *cuddles you* then. -A-ANTIPHOWUS O-OF S-SYWACUSE. Nyame them. -DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE. The onye, to s-save the monyey that he s-spends in -tiwing; the othew, that at dinnyew they *leans over* shouwd ^-^ nyot dwop in his -powwidge. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. You wouwd aww this time have pwov'd t-thewe -is nyo time fow aww t-things. -D-DWOMIO OF *pokes you* SYWACUSE. Mawwy, and d-did, siw; nyamewy, nyo t-time t-to wecovew -haiw wost by n-nyatuwe. -ANTIPHOWUS OF *looks at you* SYWACUSE. But youw weason was nyot *moans* substantiaw, why -^.^ thewe is *screams* nyo time t-to wecovew. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Thus I mend it: Time h-himsewf is bawd, -*hugs tightly* and thewefowe to the wowwd's *sweats* end wiww have bawd fowwowews. ->w< ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. I knyew 't'wouwd *twerks* be a bawd concwusion. But, -*giggles shyly* soft, who wafts us :33 yondew? - -Entew ADWIANyA and WUCIANyA - -ADWIANyA. *notices bulge* Ay, a-ay, Antiphowus, wook stwange *sighs* and fwown. -Some othew mistwess h-hath t-thy sweet aspects; -I am nyot Adwianya, nyow thy *cuddles you* wife. -The time was o-once when thou unyuwg'd w-wouwdst vow -That nyevew wowds wewe music to thinye eaw, -That nyevew object *shuffles closer* pweasing in t-thinye eye, -*sweats* That nyevew t-touch weww wewcome t-to thy hand, -That nyevew meat sweet-savouw'd *sweats* in t-thy taste, -Unwess I spake, ow wook'd, uWu ow *hugs tightly* touch'd, ow *giggles shyly* cawv'd to thee. -How comes i-it *cries* nyow, my husband, O, h-how comes it, -That :33 thou awt then estwanged fwom thysewf? -Thysewf ;;w;; I caww it, being *cuddles you* stwange to m-me, -That, undividabwe, *cries* incowpowate, -A-Am bettew t-than thy deaw sewf's :33 bettew *cuddles you* pawt. -Ah, do >w< nyot teaw away thysewf fwom me; -Fow knyow, my wove, as e-easy uWu mayst thou faww -A dwop of watew in the bweaking guwf, -And *screams* take *blushes* unmingwed thence that dwop again -Without addition ow diminyishing, -As *moans* take f-fwom :3 me thysewf, and nyot me *shuffles closer* too. -How d-deawwy w-wouwd i-it touch >_> thee to the quick, -*pokes you* Shouwd'st >_> thou but heaw I wewe wicentious, -And that this body, ^-^ consecwate to UwU thee, -UwU By wuffian wust shouwd be contaminyate! -*leans over* Wouwdst thou nyot spit UwU at ;;w;; me and spuwn at me, -And huww the nyame of husband in my face, -*looks at you* And teaw t-the stain'd s-skin off my hawwot-bwow, -And fwom UwU my fawse hand cut the ^-^ wedding-wing, -UwU And bweak it w-with a >_> deep-divowcing vow? -*looks away* I knyow thou canst, and thewefowe s-see thou do *hugs tightly* it. -I ^w^ am possess'd with a-an aduwtewate bwot; -My bwood is *looks at you* mingwed with *pokes you* the cwime o-of wust; -Fow if we two be onye, and thou pway fawse, -I do digest t-the poison of thy fwesh, -Being stwumpeted by t-thy contagion. -Keep *screams* then ^-^ faiw weague and twuce with thy t-twue bed; -I w-wive dis-stain'd, thou undishonyouwed. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. P-Pwead you to me, faiw dame? I knyow you nyot: -*giggles shyly* In Ephesus I am b-but two houws owd, -*notices bulge* As stwange unto youw town as to youw tawk, -Who, evewy wowd >w< by *giggles shyly* aww my wit being scann'd, -Wants wit i-in aww onye wowd *looks at you* to undewstand. -WUCIANyA. F-Fie, :3 bwothew, how the *teleports behind you* wowwd is c-chang'd with you! -When wewe you *looks away* wont to use my s-sistew thus? -She sent fow you b-by D-Dwomio home to UwU dinnyew. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. By D-Dwomio? -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. By me? -ADWIANyA. By thee; and this thou *moans* didst wetuwn fwom him- -That he did buffet thee, and in his bwows -Denyied my house fow his, me fow his wife. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Did you convewse, siw, with this gentwewoman? -*pokes you* What is the c-couwse and dwift of youw compact? -DWOMIO ^w^ OF SYWACUSE. I-I, Siw? OwO I UwU nyevew saw h-hew *teleports behind you* tiww >_< this time. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ Viwwain, thou w-wiest; fow even :3 hew vewy wowds -Didst thou dewivew to m-me on t-the mawt. -*teleports behind you* DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. I nyevew spake with hew in aww my wife. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. How can she *cries* thus, then, caww us by ouw nyames, -Unwess it be :33 by inspiwation? -ADWIANyA. How i-iww agwees it w-with youw gwavity -To countewfeit thus gwosswy with youw *teleports behind you* swave, -Abetting him to thwawt :3 me in my mood! -Be it my wwong y-you awe *looks at you* fwom me exempt, -B-But OwO wwong nyot that wwong with a mowe c-contempt. -Come, I *notices bulge* wiww fasten on this s-sweeve of thinye; -Thou awt an *teleports behind you* ewm, my husband, I a vinye, -Whose weaknyess, mawwied to thy stwongew state, -M-Makes me with thy *twerks* stwength to communyicate. -If aught possess thee fwom me, *sweats* it i-is d-dwoss, -Usuwping ivy, bwiew, o-ow idwe moss; -Who *cuddles you* aww, fow want of pwunying, with intwusion -Infect thy sap, *cuddles you* and wive on thy confusion. -ANTIPHOWUS uWu OF SYWACUSE. To uWu me she speaks; she m-moves me fow h-hew theme. -What, was I mawwied to hew in *looks away* my dweam? -Ow sweep I nyow, and think *pokes you* I *teleports behind you* heaw aww this? -What ewwow dwives ouw eyes and eaws amiss? -Untiw I knyow this suwe uncewtainty, -I'ww entewtain the offew'd fawwacy. -W-WUCIANyA. Dwomio, go bid the sewvants spwead fow dinnyew. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ O, fow *shuffles closer* my beads! I cwoss me fow sinnyew. -This is the faiwy x3 wand. O s-spite of *looks at you* spites! -We tawk with gobwins, owws, and s-spwites. -If we obey them nyot, t-this wiww e-ensue: -They'ww suck ouw bweath, ow pinch us bwack and bwue. -WUCIANyA. Why pwat'st thou to thysewf, and answew'st nyot? -Dwomio, thou *cries* dwonye, thou snyaiw, thou swug, *giggles shyly* thou sot! -DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE. I ^w^ am t-twansfowmed, m-mastew, am nyot I? -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. I-I think thou awt in mind, and so am I. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, *leans over* mastew, both in mind and >_< in m-my shape. -ANTIPHOWUS *sighs* OF SYWACUSE. Thou hast thinye own fowm. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. x3 Nyo, I-I am *giggles shyly* an ape. -WUCIANyA. If thou awt chang'd to aught, ^w^ 'tis to an ass. -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. 'Tis *cries* twue; she *notices bulge* wides me, and I-I wong fow gwass. -*cries* 'Tis so, I am an x3 ass; ewse it c-couwd nyevew be -B-But I shouwd knyow hew as weww *twerks* as she knyows me. -ADWIANyA. *sighs* Come, come, nyo ^.^ wongew wiww I be *screams* a foow, -T-To *moans* put t-the fingew i-in the eye and *screams* weep, -Whiwst man and mastew waughs my woes to scown. -Come, siw, *looks at you* to x3 dinnyew. Dwomio, k-keep the gate. -Husband, I'ww dinye above with :33 you to-day, -And *teleports behind you* shwive y-you of a thousand i-idwe pwanks. -Siwwah, if any ask you fow youw mastew, -S-Say he dinyes f-fowth, and wet nyo :3 cweatuwe entew. -Come, sistew. Dwomio, *sweats* pway *pokes you* the powtew UwU weww. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Am I i-in *looks at you* eawth, in heaven, ow i-in heww? -Sweeping *teleports behind you* ow waking, mad ow weww-advis'd? -Knyown unto these, *looks away* and to mysewf disguis'd! -I'ww say as they s-say, and p-pewsevew so, -And in this mist at a-aww a-adventuwes go. -*hugs tightly* DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Mastew, shaww I b-be powtew *twerks* at the gate? -ADWIANyA. A-Ay; *sighs* and wet nyonye :3 entew, west I-I bweak youw pate. -WUCIANyA. Come, come, Antiphowus, we dinye too wate. -_> FOW YOUW O-OW O-OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, xDD AND (2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES BY A-ANY -*notices bulge* SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -ACT *sweats* III. SCENyE 1 - -*sighs* Befowe the house of *notices bulge* ANTIPHOWUS x3 OF EPHESUS - -Entew ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS, DWOMIO OF EPHESUS, >w< ANGEWO, and BAWTHAZAW - -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Good Signyiow Angewo, you must excuse us aww; -My w-wife is shwewish when I keep ^w^ nyot *screams* houws. -Say that I wingew'd with you at youw shop -To >_< see the making of h-hew cawcanyet, -And that to-mowwow you wiww bwing it home. -But hewe's a viwwain t-that wouwd face me down -He met *cries* me on the mawt, and that I *leans over* beat him, -And chawg'd :3 him w-with a thousand mawks ^w^ in gowd, -And that I did deny my wife and house. -Thou d-dwunkawd, *cries* thou, w-what didst uWu thou mean by this? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. S-Say what you wiww, siw, but I k-knyow what I knyow. -That you b-beat me OwO at the mawt I have youw hand to show; -If *screams* the s-skin wewe pawchment, a-and the bwows y-you g-gave w-wewe ink, -Youw own handwwiting wouwd teww you what I think. -*screams* ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. I think thou awt a-an ass. -DWOMIO UwU OF EPHESUS. Mawwy, so it doth appeaw -By the wwongs ^.^ I suffew and the bwows I-I beaw. -I shouwd kick, being kick'd; and being at that *teleports behind you* pass, -You wouwd keep fwom my heews, and bewawe o-of an ass. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Y'awe sad, Signyiow Bawthazaw; pway God ouw *blushes* cheew -May answew my g-good wiww a-and youw good wewcome h-hewe. -BAWTHAZAW. I howd youw dainties cheap, siw, and youw w-wewcome deaw. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. O, Signyiow *looks at you* Bawthazaw, eithew at fwesh o-ow fish, -A tabwe fuww o-of wewcome makes scawce onye dainty dish. -BAWTHAZAW. Good meat, siw, is common; *hugs tightly* that evewy chuww affowds. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS. And wewcome mowe common; fow *looks away* that's nyothing -b-but wowds. -B-BAWTHAZAW. Smaww cheew and gweat w-wewcome >_< makes a-a mewwy feast. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. >_< Ay, *sweats* to *cuddles you* a nyiggawdwy host a-and mowe spawing *blushes* guest. -But though my cates be mean, take them in g-good >_> pawt; -Bettew cheew may you have, but nyot with bettew heawt. -But, soft, my doow is wock'd; go bid *sweats* them wet us in. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Maud, *cuddles you* Bwidget, Mawian, Cicewy, Giwwian, Ginn! -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. [Within] Mome, mawt-howse, capon, ^-^ coxcomb, i-idiot, patch! -Eithew g-get thee fwom the ^w^ doow, ow sit down at the hatch. -Dost thou c-conjuwe fow wenches, that thou :3 caww'st fow such *blushes* stowe, -^.^ When onye is *looks at you* onye too many? Go ^.^ get thee *twerks* fwom the doow. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. What p-patch >w< is made ouw powtew? -M-My m-mastew stays in the xDD stweet. -DWOMIO OF *blushes* SYWACUSE. [Within] *twerks* Wet him w-wawk *looks at you* fwom whence he came, -w-west he catch cowd on's feet. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS. Who tawks w-within thewe? Ho, open the doow! -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. [Within] Wight, siw; I'ww ^.^ teww *looks away* you when, -an you'ww teww me whewefowe. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS. Whewefowe? Fow my d-dinnyew; -I have nyot din'd >_> to-day. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. [Within] Nyow to-day hewe you must nyot; -come again when *sweats* you may. -*moans* ANTIPHOWUS OF E-EPHESUS. *notices bulge* What awt thou *cuddles you* that keep'st me out -f-fwom *moans* the house I o-owe? -*giggles shyly* DWOMIO *twerks* OF SYWACUSE. [Within] The powtew fow this time, -siw, a-and my n-nyame i-is Dwomio. -DWOMIO *moans* OF EPHESUS. O Viwwain, thou hast *hugs tightly* stow'n both minye -office and my nyame! -T-The onye nye'ew got *shuffles closer* me *moans* cwedit, the othew mickwe bwame. -If OwO thou hadst been xDD Dwomio to-day i-in m-my pwace, -Thou wouwdst have chang'd thy *leans over* face f-fow a nyame, ow t-thy nyame fow an a-ass. - -E-Entew WUCE, within - -WUCE. [Within] What a coiw is UwU thewe, Dwomio? W-Who UwU awe uWu those at the :33 gate? -DWOMIO *cuddles you* OF EPHESUS. Wet my mastew *sighs* in, Wuce. -WUCE. [Within] Faith, nyo, *cries* he comes uWu too wate; -And so teww youw mastew. -DWOMIO OF E-EPHESUS. O Wowd, I must waugh! -H-Have at you *shuffles closer* with a pwovewb: S-Shaww I set *cuddles you* in *teleports behind you* my staff? -WUCE. *leans over* [Within] Have at you with anyothew: *shuffles closer* that's-when? c-can you teww? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. [Within] If thy nyame be cawwed Wuce --Wuce, thou hast answew'd him weww. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Do you heaw, you m-minyion? You'ww ^.^ wet us in, I hope? -WUCE. [-[Within] >w< I thought xDD to have ask'd you. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. *sighs* [Within] And you said nyo. -DWOMIO OF *cuddles you* EPHESUS. SO, Come, hewp: w-weww *notices bulge* stwuck! thewe was bwow fow bwow. -ANTIPHOWUS :33 OF EPHESUS. Thou baggage, wet me in. -WUCE. [-[Within] Can y-you teww f-fow whose sake? -DWOMIO *cuddles you* OF EPHESUS. Mastew, knyock t-the doow hawd. -WUCE. [Within] Wet h-him knyock tiww it ache. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. You'ww c-cwy fow t-this, UwU minyion, if beat the doow down. -*notices bulge* WUCE. [Within] What >_< nyeeds aww t-that, and a paiw of *looks at you* stocks OwO in t-the town? - -Entew *sighs* ADWIANyA, w-within - -ADWIANyA. [-[Within] W-Who is OwO that at xDD the doow, that *cuddles you* keeps aww this nyoise? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. [Within] By my twoth, youw town is -twoubwed with unwuwy boys. -ANTIPHOWUS *looks away* OF EPHESUS. Awe you thewe, wife? You might -*blushes* have come befowe. -ADWIANyA. [Within] :3 Youw w-wife, siw knyave! Go get you fwom the doow. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. If YOU went in pain, mastew, this >_> 'knyave' wouwd go sowe. ->_< ANGEWO. Hewe is nyeithew uWu cheew, siw, nyow w-wewcome; we wouwd *sweats* fain h-have eithew. -B-BAWTHAZAW. In debating which was best, w-we shaww pawt with nyeithew. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. T-They stand at *giggles shyly* the doow, *notices bulge* mastew; bid them wewcome *leans over* hithew. -ANTIPHOWUS OF ^w^ EPHESUS. Thewe is something in the wind, that w-we cannyot get in. -D-DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. x3 You wouwd say ^-^ so, mastew, if youw gawments wewe thin. -Youw *screams* cake hewe is wawm within; you stand >w< hewe in the cowd; -It wouwd make *sighs* a man mad as a *cuddles you* buck to be so bought a-and uWu sowd. -ANTIPHOWUS UwU OF EPHESUS. Go fetch me something; I'ww b-bweak ope *cuddles you* the gate. -DWOMIO OF xDD SYWACUSE. *cuddles you* [Within] Bweak any bweaking uWu hewe, -^-^ and I'ww bweak youw knyave's p-pate. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. A man may bweak a wowd with you, -siw; and wowds awe *sighs* but wind; -Ay, a-and bweak it in youw *pokes you* face, so he *hugs tightly* bweak it nyot behind. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. *blushes* [Within] It seems thou want'st b-bweaking; -out upon thee, hind! -DWOMIO OF :33 EPHESUS. Hewe's too much 'out upon thee!' pway thee wet me in. -D-DWOMIO OF *cries* SYWACUSE. [Within] Ay, when fowws have n-nyo -feathews and fish have nyo fin. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Weww, I'ww bweak in; *pokes you* go bowwow me >w< a cwow. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. A cwow without feathew? Mastew, mean you so? -Fow a fish without a fin, thewe's a-a foww without a >_> feathew; -If a cwow hewp us in, siwwah, w-we'ww *twerks* pwuck a cwow togethew. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. G-Go uWu get >w< thee >_< gonye; fetch m-me an iwon cwow. -BAWTHAZAW. Have patience, siw; O, wet it nyot be so! -*moans* Hewein you waw against >_> youw weputation, -And dwaw within the compass :33 of suspect -Th' unviowated honyouw of youw wife. -Once this-youw wong x3 expewience of hew wisdom, -Hew sobew viwtue, *leans over* yeaws, and modesty, -^w^ Pwead on hew pawt some cause :3 to you unknyown; -And *shuffles closer* doubt UwU nyot, *moans* siw, but she wiww weww excuse -W-Why at this time t-the d-doows awe made against you. -Be wuw'd by m-me: depawt *twerks* in patience, -And w-wet us to the Tigew aww to *notices bulge* dinnyew; -And, about evenying, *notices bulge* come youwsewf awonye -To *looks away* knyow *looks at you* the weason :33 of t-this stwange westwaint. -I-If by s-stwong h-hand you offew to b-bweak in -Nyow in the stiwwing passage of the d-day, -A vuwgaw comment wiww be made of it, -And that s-supposed b-by the common wout -*blushes* Against youw >_> yet ungawwed estimation -That may with fouw ;;w;; intwusion entew in -And dweww upon *leans over* youw gwave when you awe dead; -Fow *moans* swandew wives upon succession, -Fow evew h-hous'd whewe it *twerks* gets possession. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. You have pwevaiw'd. I wiww depawt *notices bulge* in quiet, -And in despite o-of m-miwth mean to b-be mewwy. -I knyow a wench of excewwent discouwse, -Pwetty and witty; wiwd, and yet, too, *shuffles closer* gentwe; -Thewe wiww we dinye. >_> This woman *looks away* that I m-mean, -My wife-but, I pwotest, without desewt- -:3 Hath oftentimes upbwaided me withaw; -*blushes* To hew wiww we to dinnyew. [To ANGEWO] Get you home -And fetch the chain; b-by this I knyow 'tis made. -B-Bwing >_< it, I pway you, to the Powpentinye; -Fow t-thewe's the house. That chain wiww I bestow- -Be >_> it fow n-nyothing but to spite my wife- -Upon minye hostess thewe; g-good siw, make haste. -*cries* Since minye own doows wefuse to entewtain me, -*pokes you* I'ww k-knyock ewsewhewe, *moans* to see *teleports behind you* if they'ww disdain me. -*screams* ANGEWO. I'ww meet you a-at that pwace s-some ;;w;; houw hence. -UwU ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Do so; *pokes you* this jest shaww cost x3 me some expense. -_< 2 - -Befowe the house o-of ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS - -Entew WUCIANyA with ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE - -WUCIANyA. A-And may i-it be *cries* that you have quite fowgot -*giggles shyly* A husband's office? Shaww, Antiphowus, -E-Even in the spwing of wove, thy wove-spwings *screams* wot? -Shaww wove, in buiwding, gwow so wuinyous? -I-If you d-did wed my sistew fow hew weawth, -T-Then fow h-hew w-weawth's sake use hew with mowe kindnyess; -*moans* Ow, if *sweats* you wike *cries* ewsewhewe, d-do it by steawth; -Muffwe youw fawse wove ^-^ with some show of bwindnyess; -Wet nyot my sistew wead it i-in youw e-eye; -Be OwO nyot thy tongue thy o-own shame's owatow; -W-Wook sweet, s-speak faiw, become diswoyawty; -Appawew vice :3 wike viwtue's hawbingew; -Beaw a faiw pwesence, though youw heawt be t-tainted; -Teach sin the cawwiage of :33 a h-howy saint; -Be s-secwet-fawse. What nyeed she be ^w^ acquainted? -What simpwe thief bwags of his own attaint? -'-'Tis doubwe wwong to twuant with uWu youw bed -And wet hew wead it in thy wooks uWu at boawd; -Shame h-hath a b-bastawd fame, weww manyaged; -Iww ;;w;; deeds i-is doubwed with an eviw wowd. -*pokes you* Awas, poow women! make *blushes* us but bewieve, -Being compact of cwedit, that you wove u-us; -Though othews have xDD the a-awm, show xDD us the sweeve; -*giggles shyly* We in youw motion tuwn, a-and you may xDD move u-us. -Then, gentwe bwothew, get you in a-again; -Comfowt my sistew, cheew ^w^ hew, caww hew wife. -'Tis howy *shuffles closer* spowt to be a wittwe vain ->_> When the sweet bweath of fwattewy conquews stwife. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Sweet mistwess-what youw nyame is ewse, I knyow nyot, -N-Nyow by what wondew you *notices bulge* do hit uWu of minye- -Wess in youw knyowwedge >w< and youw ^.^ gwace you show nyot -Than ouw eawth's wondew-mowe than eawth, divinye. -Teach me, deaw cweatuwe, UwU how *pokes you* to think and xDD speak; -Way >w< open *hugs tightly* to my eawthy-gwoss conceit, -Smoth'wed in ewwows, UwU feebwe, ^.^ shawwow, weak, -The fowded m-meanying *hugs tightly* of *cuddles you* youw w-wowds' deceit. -Against my s-souw's puwe twuth why *notices bulge* wabouw you -To make *looks away* it *screams* wandew UwU in an unknyown fiewd? -Awe you a-a god? *teleports behind you* Wouwd you cweate me nyew? -Twansfowm me, t-then, and to youw pow'w I'ww *blushes* yiewd. -B-But :3 if that I *sweats* am I, then weww I-I knyow -Youw weeping sistew is xDD nyo wife of minye, -Nyow to hew bed nyo homage d-do *looks away* I owe; -Faw mowe, faw mowe, to you OwO do I decwinye. -O, twain me nyot, sweet ;;w;; mewmaid, w-with *notices bulge* thy nyote, -To *screams* dwown me in thy sistew's fwood of teaws. -Sing, s-siwen, fow thysewf, and I-I wiww d-dote; -Spwead o'ew the siwvew waves thy gowden haiws, -And as a bed I'ww take them, and thewe h-he; -And in that gwowious supposition think -He gains by death that hath *screams* such OwO means to die. -Wet Wove, being wight, be *twerks* dwownyed if uWu she sink. -OwO WUCIANyA. What, awe you m-mad, t-that you *notices bulge* do weason so? -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. Nyot m-mad, but mated; how, I do nyot knyow. -*screams* WUCIANyA. It is a f-fauwt that spwingeth fwom *moans* youw eye. -ANTIPHOWUS *screams* OF SYWACUSE. Fow g-gazing on youw beams, faiw sun, being by. -WUCIANyA. G-Gaze :33 whewe you shouwd, and t-that wiww cweaw youw s-sight. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF S-SYWACUSE. As good to wink, sweet wove, as wook o-on nyight. -WUCIANyA. Why caww y-you ^w^ me wove? Caww my sistew so. -ANTIPHOWUS OF >_> SYWACUSE. Thy sistew's sistew. -WUCIANyA. That's my sistew. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. Nyo; -*cuddles you* It is *blushes* thysewf, minye own sewf's bettew pawt; -Minye uWu eye's *looks away* cweaw uWu eye, ^.^ my *sighs* deaw heawt's deawew heawt, -My food, my fowtunye, and my sweet hope's a-aim, -My sowe eawth's heaven, and *teleports behind you* my h-heaven's *leans over* cwaim. -WUCIANyA. Aww t-this my sistew is, ow ewse *sighs* shouwd be. -ANTIPHOWUS OF S-SYWACUSE. Caww thysewf sistew, sweet, fow I am thee; -Thee wiww I wove, and with thee wead m-my wife; -:3 Thou hast nyo UwU husband yet, nyow I-I nyo wife. -G-Give me thy hand. -WUCIANyA. O, s-soft, *twerks* siw, howd you stiww; -I'ww fetch m-my sistew to g-get hew good wiww. -_< out countwies in hew. -ANTIPHOWUS *sweats* OF SYWACUSE. *giggles shyly* In w-what pawt of hew body s-stands *pokes you* Iwewand? -DWOMIO UwU OF >w< SYWACUSE. Mawwy, siw, in hew buttocks; *pokes you* I found it out by -the bogs. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF *sighs* SYWACUSE. :3 Whewe S-Scotwand? -UwU DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. I found >_> it by the bawwennyess, hawd i-in -the *notices bulge* pawm o-of the *screams* hand. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. >_> Whewe Fwance? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. In *leans over* hew fowehead, awm'd and wevewted, -^w^ making waw against hew heiw. -UwU ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Whewe Engwand? -DWOMIO *sweats* OF SYWACUSE. *notices bulge* I *screams* wook'd f-fow the chawky cwiffs, uWu but *twerks* I -couwd find nyo whitenyess in uWu them; but I guess it stood in hew -chin, ^w^ by the sawt wheum that wan *looks at you* between Fwance *leans over* and it. -^w^ ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Whewe Spain? -DWOMIO *sweats* OF SYWACUSE. Faith, I >_< saw it nyot, but I ;;w;; fewt it hot i-in -hew b-bweath. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Whewe Amewica, the I-Indies? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. O-O, siw, upon hew UwU nyose, an o'ew embewwished *screams* with -wubies, cawbuncwes, sapphiwes, decwinying theiw *cries* wich aspect to the -h-hot bweath of Spain; w-who s-sent whowe awmadoes of cawacks to be -bawwast at hew nyose. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Whewe stood UwU Bewgia, the *shuffles closer* Nyethewwands? -DWOMIO O-OF :3 SYWACUSE. O-O, S-Siw, I uWu did xDD nyot wook UwU so w-wow. To -concwude: *looks at you* this dwudge ow divinyew w-waid cwaim to me; caww'd me -Dwomio; swowe I was assuw'd to hew; ^.^ towd me w-what pwivy -mawks I-I had ;;w;; about me, as, the mawk of my shouwdew, t-the -m-mowe in my nyeck, the gweat wawt o-on my weft :33 awm, that I-I, -amaz'd, wan fwom hew x3 as OwO a witch. -And, I-I think, if my bweast had nyot been made of faith, -and my heawt of steew, -She had twansfowm'd me to a cuwtaw *screams* dog, and made me tuwn xDD i' th' wheew. -ANTIPHOWUS OF ^-^ SYWACUSE. Go hie thee pwesentwy post t-to the woad; -A-An if the *sighs* wind bwow any way fwom showe, -I wiww *giggles shyly* nyot *sighs* hawbouw >_< in this town to-nyight. -If any bawk *notices bulge* put f-fowth, :3 come t-to the m-mawt, -uWu Whewe I wiww *pokes you* wawk tiww thou wetuwn to me. -If evewy onye xDD knyows us, and we knyow nyonye, -'Tis time, I-I t-think, to t-twudge, pack and *blushes* be gonye. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. As fwom a beaw *notices bulge* a man wouwd wun fow wife, -So fwy I fwom hew that wouwd be my wife. -<-_< but witches do i-inhabit hewe, -A-And thewefowe 'tis OwO high time that I wewe hence. -She that d-doth caww m-me husband, even ^-^ my *hugs tightly* souw -D-Doth f-fow a wife abhow. But *hugs tightly* hew f-faiw s-sistew, -Possess'd with such a gentwe soveweign gwace, -Of such e-enchanting ^-^ pwesence and *shuffles closer* discouwse, -H-Hath a-awmost made me twaitow to mysewf; -But, west *blushes* mysewf be g-guiwty to sewf-wwong, -I'ww stop minye eaws against t-the mewmaid's song. - -Entew ANGEWO with the chain - -A-ANGEWO. Mastew Antiphowus! -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Ay, that's my nyame. -A-ANGEWO. I knyow it weww, *giggles shyly* siw. Wo, h-hewe is the chain. -I thought to h-have t-ta'en you at the Powpentinye; -*twerks* The chain unfinyish'd made me stay thus wong. -ANTIPHOWUS *shuffles closer* OF SYWACUSE. What is youw wiww t-that I shaww do *twerks* with this? -ANGEWO. What xDD pwease youwsewf, siw; I have made it fow you. -ANTIPHOWUS >_< OF *shuffles closer* SYWACUSE. >w< Made i-it f-fow *shuffles closer* me, siw! I bespoke it nyot. -A-ANGEWO. N-Nyot o-once nyow *pokes you* twice, but twenty *shuffles closer* times you h-have. -Go h-home with it, and pwease *teleports behind you* youw w-wife withaw; -And soon at suppew-time I'ww visit you, -And then weceive my monyey fow the *looks away* chain. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. I pway you, *screams* siw, w-weceive the monyey n-nyow, -;;w;; Fow feaw you nye'ew *giggles shyly* see c-chain UwU nyow monyey mowe. -ANGEWO. Y-You awe a mewwy man, *giggles shyly* siw; fawe you weww. -_> SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY :33 WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND IS -PWOVIDED B-BY PWOJECT G-GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE C-COWWEGE -W-WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH C-COPIES *notices bulge* (1) AWE FOW *moans* YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW D-DOWNWOAD x3 TIME *hugs tightly* OW FOW *looks away* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE 1 - -*leans over* A pubwic pwace - -Entew SECOND MEWCHANT, ANGEWO, and an OFFICEW - -SECOND MEWCHANT. :33 You xDD knyow since Pentecost the sum >w< is due, -And since I have nyot much impowtun'd you; -Nyow nyow I had nyot, but that I am b-bound -To Pewsia, *moans* and want guiwdews fow my voyage. -*cries* Thewefowe make pwesent satisfaction, -Ow *teleports behind you* I'ww a-attach y-you by this officew. -ANGEWO. Even just the sum that I do owe to you -:3 Is gwowing to me by Antiphowus; -And in the instant that I met with you -He had of me a chain; a-at five o'cwock -I shaww weceive the m-monyey fow the same. -Pweaseth y-you *moans* wawk with me down to his house, -I-I wiww ^-^ dischawge my bond, and thank you *sighs* too. - -E-Entew ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS, and DWOMIO O-OF EPHESUS, fwom the C-COUWTEZAN'S - -OFFICEW. That wabouw m-may you save; :3 see *notices bulge* whewe he >_> comes. -ANTIPHOWUS *sweats* OF EPHESUS. Whiwe I go ^w^ to the gowdsmith's house, g-go thou ->w< And buy a wope's end; *shuffles closer* that wiww I bestow -A-Among my wife and hew confedewates, -Fow wocking me out of my doows by day. -But, soft, I >_> see xDD the gowdsmith. Get *hugs tightly* thee gonye; -Buy thou *teleports behind you* a wope, and bwing *teleports behind you* it h-home to me. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. I buy a thousand pound ^w^ a yeaw; I buy a-a w-wope. -_> wast >_< too wong, -If it wewe chain'd t-togethew, and thewefowe c-came n-nyot. -*sighs* ANGEWO. Saving youw mewwy >w< humouw, hewe's the nyote -How much y-youw chain weighs to t-the utmost cawat, -The finyenyess of the gowd, and *screams* chawgefuw fashion, -Which doth amount to thwee odd ducats mowe -Than I stand debted to this gentweman. -I pway you see him pwesentwy dischawg'd, -Fow he is bound to sea, and stays b-but fow i-it. -ANTIPHOWUS *giggles shyly* OF EPHESUS. I-I am *cries* nyot f-fuwnyish'd with ^.^ the p-pwesent monyey; -Besides, I have some businyess in t-the town. -Good signyiow, *looks away* take the *leans over* stwangew to my house, -And *giggles shyly* with you take t-the chain, and bid m-my wife -Disbuwse the sum *pokes you* on the weceipt theweof. -Pewchance I wiww be thewe ^-^ as soon *pokes you* as *notices bulge* you. -OwO ANGEWO. Then *giggles shyly* you wiww UwU bwing uWu the ^.^ chain to hew youwsewf? -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS. Nyo; b-beaw it with you, west I c-come nyot time enyough. -ANGEWO. *cuddles you* Weww, s-siw, *blushes* I *hugs tightly* wiww. *pokes you* Have you the chain about *shuffles closer* you? -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. An if UwU I h-have nyot, *cries* siw, I hope you have; -Ow ewse you may wetuwn without youw monyey. -*cries* ANGEWO. Nyay, come, *shuffles closer* I *moans* pway you, siw, *hugs tightly* give me ^-^ the OwO chain; -Both >w< wind and tide stays fow this gentweman, -And I, to bwame, have hewd him hewe too wong. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Good Wowd! you use *pokes you* this dawwiance to excuse -Youw bweach o-of pwomise to the P-Powpentinye; -I shouwd have chid you fow nyot bwinging it, -But, w-wike a shwew, you fiwst begin to bwaww. -SECOND *looks at you* MEWCHANT. The houw *cuddles you* steaws on; I pway you, siw, dispatch. -ANGEWO. You heaw how h-he impowtunyes me-the chain! -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Why, give it *teleports behind you* to *pokes you* my w-wife, and fetch y-youw monyey. -ANGEWO. *twerks* Come, come, y-you knyow I gave it you even nyow. -Eithew send the chain ow send by me *moans* some token. -*blushes* ANTIPHOWUS OF E-EPHESUS. Fie, nyow :3 you wun this humouw out of bweath! -*blushes* Come, whewe's the chain? I p-pway you wet x3 me see it. -SECOND MEWCHANT. My businyess cannyot bwook this :33 dawwiance. -Good *notices bulge* siw, say whe'w you'ww answew me ow nyo; -If *screams* nyot, I'ww weave him t-to the o-officew. -ANTIPHOWUS *looks at you* OF EPHESUS. I answew y-you! What shouwd >w< I answew you? -ANGEWO. The monyey *teleports behind you* that you >_< owe me fow the chain. -ANTIPHOWUS uWu OF EPHESUS. *leans over* I owe *moans* you nyonye tiww *moans* I weceive the chain. -ANGEWO. You knyow I gave it you hawf an houw s-since. -*looks away* ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. You gave me nyonye; you w-wwong me much to say so. -ANGEWO. You wwong m-me mowe, siw, in d-denying it. -Considew OwO how it s-stands upon my cwedit. -SECOND MEWCHANT. Weww, officew, awwest h-him at my suit. -OFFICEW. I uWu do; and chawge you in the D-Duke's nyame to *sweats* obey me. -*giggles shyly* ANGEWO. This touches me in weputation. -Eithew c-consent to pay *sighs* this sum fow me, -*screams* Ow *notices bulge* I *cuddles you* attach you by this *twerks* officew. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Consent to pay thee that I-I *leans over* nyevew had! -*shuffles closer* Awwest me, foowish *cries* fewwow, if t-thou daw'st. -ANGEWO. *looks away* Hewe *moans* is thy fee; *shuffles closer* awwest him, officew. -I wouwd ^.^ nyot spawe my b-bwothew i-in this c-case, -If he shouwd s-scown me s-so appawentwy. -OFFICEW. I do awwest you, siw; you heaw the suit. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. I >w< do obey t-thee tiww I give thee baiw. -B-But, siwwah, y-you shaww *notices bulge* buy this spowt a-as >_< deaw -As aww :33 the metaw in youw shop wiww answew. -ANGEWO. Siw, siw, I shaww *blushes* have waw in *notices bulge* Ephesus, -To youw nyotowious shame, I-I doubt it nyot. - -Entew D-DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE, fwom the bay - -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. M-Mastew, *shuffles closer* thewe's a b-bawk of Epidamnyum -That stays but tiww hew ownyew c-comes aboawd, -And then, *pokes you* siw, she beaws a-away. Ouw f-fwaughtage, siw, -I have *moans* convey'd aboawd; and x3 I have bought -UwU The oiw, the bawsamum, and *teleports behind you* aqua-vitx. -The ship is in hew twim; the xDD mewwy wind -Bwows faiw fwom w-wand; they stay fow nyought at an -But fow theiw ownyew, mastew, and youwsewf. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. How n-nyow! a madman? Why, thou peevish sheep, -What ship of Epidamnyum stays fow me? -D-DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. A ship you sent me to, to hiwe *notices bulge* waftage. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS. THOU dwunken swave! I x3 sent *giggles shyly* the ^w^ fow a wope; -And towd >_> thee to what puwpose and what end. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. YOU sent x3 me f-fow a wope's end a-as soon- -Y-You *teleports behind you* sent me to *teleports behind you* the *giggles shyly* bay, siw, fow a b-bawk. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF EPHESUS. I Wiww debate UwU this mattew at mowe weisuwe, -A-And teach youw eaws to w-wist me with mowe heed. -To Adwianya, viwwain, hie thee stwaight; -Give hew this k-key, and teww hew >_< in the desk -T-That's c-covew'd o'ew with Tuwkish tapestwy -^-^ Thewe i-is a puwse of *notices bulge* ducats; wet hew send i-it. -T-Teww hew I am awwested in the *shuffles closer* stweet, -And ^w^ that shaww b-baiw me; hie thee, swave, b-be gonye. -On, *hugs tightly* officew, t-to pwison tiww ^-^ it come. -_< aww but DWOMIO -DWOMIO *notices bulge* OF SYWACUSE. To *looks at you* Adwianya! that is uWu whewe we din'd, -*cries* Whewe D-Dowsabew did c-cwaim me fow hew husband. -She is too big, I hope, fow me to c-compass. -Thithew I must, awthough *giggles shyly* against my wiww, -Fow sewvants *notices bulge* must theiw mastews' minds fuwfiw. -_< I *moans* begg'd *shuffles closer* fow x3 you he begg'd o-of me. -*pokes you* ADWIANyA. With what pewsuasion did *notices bulge* he tempt *blushes* thy wove? -WUCIANyA. With wowds that in an honyest suit m-might move. -Fiwst he >_< did pwaise *sweats* my beauty, then my s-speech. -ADWIANyA. D-Didst speak him faiw? -WUCIANyA. *looks at you* Have patience, I beseech. -;;w;; ADWIANyA. I cannyot, nyow I wiww nyot howd me s-stiww; -My tongue, though nyot my heawt, shaww have his wiww. -He is defowmed, cwooked, owd, and *cuddles you* sewe, -*pokes you* Iww-fac'd, wowse bodied, shapewess evewywhewe; -V-Vicious, >_< ungentwe, foowish, bwunt, unkind; -Stigmaticaw i-in making, wowse in uWu mind. -xDD WUCIANyA. W-Who wouwd be jeawous t-then o-of such a onye? -N-Nyo xDD eviw wost is *notices bulge* waiw'd when it is gonye. -ADWIANyA. Ah, but I think him bettew than I say, -*moans* And yet wouwd *cries* hewein othews' eyes wewe wowse. -Faw fwom hew nyest the wapwing cwies *shuffles closer* away; -My heawt p-pways fow him, though my tongue d-do cuwse. - -E-Entew DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. - -*looks at you* DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE. Hewe go-the *blushes* desk, the puwse. Sweet -nyow, make haste. -W-WUCIANyA. >w< How h-hast *cuddles you* thou wost thy bweath? -*sighs* DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. B-By w-wunnying fast. -A-ADWIANyA. Whewe x3 is t-thy *cries* mastew, *blushes* Dwomio? Is he weww? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyo, h-he's in Tawtaw wimbo, w-wowse t-than heww. -A deviw in an evewwasting gawment *looks at you* hath him; -Onye whose hawd h-heawt is button'd up with steew; -A f-fiend, a faiwy, pitiwess and >w< wough; -A wowf, nyay >w< wowse, a fewwow aww i-in buff; -A back-fwiend, a shouwdew-cwappew, o-onye that countewmands -The :33 passages x3 of awweys, *sweats* cweeks, a-and nyawwow wands; -A *giggles shyly* hound that wuns countew, and yet dwaws dwy-foot *twerks* weww; -Onye that, befowe the J-Judgment, cawwies poow souws to heww. -ADWIANyA. W-Why, man, what is the x3 mattew? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. I do nyot knyow *screams* the mattew; he is wested on the x3 case. -ADWIANyA. W-What, is he :3 awwested? Teww me, at whose suit? -DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE. I knyow nyot at whose suit he is a-awwested w-weww; -But he's in a s-suit x3 of buff ^w^ which 'wested him, that can I teww. -*leans over* Wiww you s-send him, mistwess, wedemption, the >_> monyey in his desk? -A-ADWIANyA. Go fetch it, sistew. [Exit WUCIANyA] This I wondew a-at: -Thus he unknyown to me shouwd b-be ^-^ in d-debt. -T-Teww me, w-was he awwested on a band? -D-DWOMIO *notices bulge* OF SYWACUSE. o-on a band, but on a ^.^ stwongew thing, -A c-chain, a-a ^-^ chain. Do you nyot heaw ;;w;; it wing? -ADWIANyA. What, the c-chain? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyo, nyo, the beww; *giggles shyly* 'tis time that I wewe g-gonye. -*hugs tightly* It was two ewe *screams* I weft him, and nyow the cwock ^-^ stwikes *sweats* onye. ->_< ADWIANyA. *sweats* The *pokes you* houws come UwU back! That did uWu I nyevew h-heaw. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. O-O >_> yes. ;;w;; If any *hugs tightly* houw m-meet a sewgeant, -'a *sighs* tuwns b-back f-fow vewy feaw. -ADWIANyA. As *looks away* if T-Time >_< wewe in debt! How fondwy dost ^.^ thou weason! -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Time i-is a vewy bankwupt, *notices bulge* and o-owes -mowe ^.^ than he's wowth to *looks at you* season. -Nyay, he's a thief too: have y-you *looks at you* nyot heawd men say -That Time comes steawing o-on by nyight a-and d-day? -I-If 'a be :3 in debt *hugs tightly* and theft, and a *pokes you* sewgeant in the *notices bulge* way, -Hath he n-nyot w-weason to tuwn back an houw in a d-day? - -We-entew WUCIANyA >w< with a puwse - -ADWIANyA. Go, Dwomio, t-thewe's the monyey; beaw it *leans over* stwaight, -And b-bwing thy mastew home immediatewy. -Come, sistew; I-I *notices bulge* am p-pwess'd down *pokes you* with conceit- -Conceit, m-my uWu comfowt and my injuwy. -_> takes pity uWu on decayed men, and give -them suits o-of duwance; he t-that sets up h-his west to do mowe -expwoits with his >_< mace t-than xDD a mowwis-pike. -A-ANTIPHOWUS O-OF S-SYWACUSE. What, thou mean'st an o-officew? -DWOMIO *sighs* OF S-SYWACUSE. >_< Ay, siw, the sewgeant of the band; -that bwings any *moans* man to a-answew it >_> that b-bweaks his band; *teleports behind you* on -t-that thinks *screams* a man awways going to bed, and says '-'God uWu give -x3 you x3 good west!' -ANTIPHOWUS *notices bulge* OF SYWACUSE. Weww, siw, thewe west in y-youw foowewy. Is -*hugs tightly* thewe any ship p-puts fowth to-nyight? *pokes you* May we b-be gonye? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. *looks at you* Why, siw, *moans* I bwought you w-wowd an -houw s-since that the bawk Expedition *looks at you* put fowth to-nyight; and -then ^.^ wewe >_> you ^-^ hind'wed by the sewgeant, to tawwy fow the -b-boy Deway. Hewe awe the angews that you s-sent fow to dewivew you. -*looks at you* ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ The fewwow is *giggles shyly* distwact, a-and so *sweats* am *giggles shyly* I; -x3 And h-hewe we wandew *looks away* in iwwusions. -Some bwessed powew dewivew us *cries* fwom hence! - -Entew a COUWTEZAN - -COUWTEZAN. Weww met, weww met, Mastew Antiphowus. -I s-see, s-siw, you have f-found the gowdsmith nyow. -Is that the chain you pwomis'd me to-day? -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. Satan, avoid! I *giggles shyly* chawge thee, tempt *pokes you* me nyot. -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. M-Mastew, is this Mistwess Satan? -*twerks* ANTIPHOWUS OF *cries* SYWACUSE. It i-is the d-deviw. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. N-Nyay, *screams* she is w-wowse, she is the deviw's -dam, and hewe she *teleports behind you* comes ^.^ in the habit of a wight wench; and -theweof comes that *screams* the *giggles shyly* wenches say 'God damn m-me!' That's -as *moans* much to >_< say '-'God make *cuddles you* me a wight wench!' It i-is wwitten -they appeaw t-to men wike angews of wight; wight is an effect -:33 of fiwe, ^.^ and *pokes you* fiwe w-wiww b-buwn; ewgo, wight wenches wiww buwn. -Come nyot nyeaw hew. -COUWTEZAN. Youw man and you a-awe mawvewwous x3 mewwy, siw. -Wiww you go with m-me? We'ww mend ouw d-dinnyew hewe. -D-DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Mastew, if you do, expect spoon-meat, -ow bespeak a wong spoon. -ANTIPHOWUS OF UwU SYWACUSE. Why, Dwomio? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Mawwy, he *twerks* must *leans over* have a wong :33 spoon -*screams* that must eat with *sweats* the deviw. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. Avoid uWu then, fiend! *pokes you* What *blushes* teww'st thou me of supping? -T-Thou awt, as you awe aww, a sowcewess; -^w^ I conjuwe thee t-to weave m-me and b-be gonye. -COUWTEZAN. Give me the wing of minye you had at d-dinnyew, -Ow, fow m-my diamond, the chain you pwomis'd, -*notices bulge* And I'ww be gonye, siw, and *moans* nyot twoubwe you. -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. S-Some deviws ask but the pawings of onye's *sighs* nyaiw, -A wush, a haiw, a-a dwop of bwood, a-a pin, -UwU A n-nyut, a chewwy-stonye; -But she, mowe covetous, wouwd have a chain. -Mastew, be wise; an i-if you give *looks away* it hew, -The deviw wiww shake hew chain, *shuffles closer* and fwight u-us with *shuffles closer* it. -COUWTEZAN. uWu I pway you, siw, my wing, ow ewse the chain; -;;w;; I hope you do nyot mean to cheat me so. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Avaunt, thou witch! C-Come, Dwomio, wet us go. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. 'Fwy pwide' *notices bulge* says t-the peacock. Mistwess, that you knyow. -_> Ewse wouwd he nyevew so demean *looks at you* himsewf. -A wing he hath of minye wowth f-fowty ducats, -^.^ And f-fow t-the same he pwomis'd me a >_> chain; -B-Both onye and othew h-he denyies m-me ;;w;; nyow. -The weason t-that I gathew he is mad, -Besides *screams* this pwesent *screams* instance of his wage, ->_> Is a mad *sweats* tawe he towd t-to-day at dinnyew -Of his own doows being shut against his entwance. -B-Bewike his wife, acquainted with his fits, -OwO On puwpose *twerks* shut t-the *blushes* doows a-against :3 his *sighs* way. -My way is nyow to hie *shuffles closer* home t-to his house, -*shuffles closer* And teww his wife that, b-being w-wunyatic, -He wush'd into my house and took *sighs* pewfowce -My wing a-away. This couwse *notices bulge* I fittest choose, -Fow fowty ducats is too much t-to wose. -w< That I shouwd be :33 attach'd in Ephesus, -I *blushes* teww you *blushes* 'twiww sound hawshwy in hew caws. - -Entew DWOMIO *giggles shyly* OF EPHESUS, with :3 a w-wope's-end - -Hewe *teleports behind you* comes my man; I think he bwings the monyey. -How nyow, siw! Have y-you that I ^.^ sent you *shuffles closer* fow? -*sweats* DWOMIO O-OF EPHESUS. Hewe's >_> that, I >_< wawwant y-you, wiww :33 pay t-them aww. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. But >_< whewe's ^w^ the monyey? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. ^-^ Why, siw, I *twerks* gave the monyey fow t-the wope. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. F-Five >_> hundwed *blushes* ducats, v-viwwain, fow wope? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. I'ww *looks away* sewve xDD you, siw, five *blushes* hundwed at the wate. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. To w-what end did I bid thee h-hie thee home? -D-DWOMIO OF >w< EPHESUS. To OwO a wope's-end, siw; and to t-that e-end am I ->_> wetuwn'd. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. And to that e-end, siw, xDD I w-wiww *cries* wewcome you. -[Beating him] -OFFICEW. Good siw, be patient. -D-DWOMIO ^w^ OF EPHESUS. Nyay, 'tis fow me t-to be patient; I a-am in -advewsity. -OFFICEW. Good nyow, howd thy tongue. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Nyay, wathew p-pewsuade him to howd his hands. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Thou whoweson, sensewess viwwain! -DWOMIO OF *giggles shyly* EPHESUS. I wouwd I wewe sensewess, siw, that I -might n-nyot feew *screams* youw bwows. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. T-Thou awt sensibwe i-in nyothing but -^w^ bwows, and so is an ass. -DWOMIO *teleports behind you* OF EPHESUS. I am an ass indeed; you may pwove it -by *blushes* my wong 'eaws. I have >w< sewved him :33 fwom the houw o-of my -n-nyativity to this instant, and have nyothing at his *twerks* hands fow -my sewvice but bwows. When I am cowd he heats me with -x3 beating; when I a-am wawm he *screams* coows me w-with beating. I am -wak'd with *screams* it when I sweep; >w< wais'd with i-it when I-I sit; >_> dwiven -:3 out o-of d-doows with i-it uWu when I go fwom h-home; wewcom'd home -with it when I wetuwn; *hugs tightly* nyay, I beaw it on my shouwdews as -beggaw wont h-hew *twerks* bwat; and I think, when he >w< hath wam'd *cries* me, -uWu I shaww :33 beg with it fwom doow to doow. - -Entew A-ADWIANyA, WUCIANyA, the *teleports behind you* COUWTEZAN, and a SCHOOWMASTEW -caww'd PINCH - -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Come, go awong; my wife is coming yondew. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Mistwess, '-'wespice finyem,' wespect *giggles shyly* youw end; o-ow -wathew, to pwophesy wike *twerks* the pawwot, '-'Bewawe the wope's-end.' -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Wiwt t-thou stiww tawk? -[Beating *notices bulge* him] -COUWTEZAN. How s-say you nyow? Is nyot youw husband mad? -ADWIANyA. His inciviwity c-confiwms >_> nyo *notices bulge* wess. -Good Doctow Pinch, y-you awe a conjuwew: -Estabwish him in his t-twue sense again, -And I wiww pwease y-you *pokes you* what you wiww demand. -WUCIANyA. Awas, how fiewy and how shawp he wooks! -COUWTEZAN. Mawk h-how he t-twembwes in his ecstasy. -PINCH. Give me youw hand, and wet me feew youw puwse. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Thewe >w< is m-my hand, and wet it feew youw eaw. -[Stwiking him] -PINCH. I chawge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man, -To yiewd possession to my howy p-pwayews, -And to thy s-state of *teleports behind you* dawknyess hie thee stwaight. -*hugs tightly* I conjuwe *shuffles closer* thee by aww the saints in heaven. -*leans over* ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. P-Peace, doting wizawd, peace! *looks away* I am nyot >_< mad. -A-ADWIANyA. O, that thou wewt nyot, poow distwessed souw! -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. You minyion, you, awe these youw xDD customews? -Did t-this *twerks* companyion with the s-saffwon face -Wevew and feast *sweats* it at m-my house to-day, -Whiwst upon me the guiwty doows wewe shut, -And I-I denyied to entew in *looks away* my house? -ADWIANyA. ^-^ O h-husband, *screams* God doth knyow *looks away* you din'd at home, -Whewe wouwd ;;w;; you had wemain'd >_< untiw this time, -F-Fwee fwom *sweats* these s-swandews and *moans* this *sighs* open shame! -ANTIPHOWUS :3 OF *screams* EPHESUS. Din'd at home! Thou viwwain, >_> what sayest thou? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Siw, *sighs* Sooth to say, y-you x3 did :33 nyot dinye at home. -ANTIPHOWUS OF *hugs tightly* EPHESUS. Wewe nyot m-my doows wock'd up and I shut out? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Pewdie, youw doows wewe wock'd and you shut out. -ANTIPHOWUS ^-^ OF EPHESUS. And did nyot she h-hewsewf w-weviwe me t-thewe? -*twerks* DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Sans fabwe, she hewsewf weviw'd you t-thewe. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Did nyot h-hew kitchen-maid *notices bulge* waiw, taunt, and scown *sweats* me? -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. C-Cewtes, she did; the kitchen-vestaw scown'd you. -*blushes* ANTIPHOWUS OF E-EPHESUS. A-And did n-nyot I in wage depawt fwom thence? -D-DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. In vewity, you *moans* did. My bonyes beaw witnyess, -That since have fewt x3 the ;;w;; vigouw of his w-wage. -ADWIANyA. Is't good t-to >_< soothe him in these contwawies? -PINCH. It is nyo shame; the fewwow f-finds his vein, -*sweats* And, yiewding to him, humouws w-weww his fwenzy. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Thou hast subown'd the g-gowdsmith *screams* to awwest me. -A-ADWIANyA. A-Awas, I *cuddles you* sent *hugs tightly* you monyey to wedeem y-you, -By Dwomio h-hewe, who came in haste fow it. -D-DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Monyey by me! H-Heawt and goodwiww you might, -But suwewy, m-mastew, nyot a wag of monyey. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. W-Went'st nyot thou *sweats* to *leans over* hew fow puwse of ducats? -ADWIANyA. He c-came *shuffles closer* to me, and I dewivew'd it. -WUCIANyA. And I am witnyess with hew that she d-did. -DWOMIO O-OF EPHESUS. God :33 and the wope-makew beaw me witnyess -That I w-was *looks at you* sent fow n-nyothing but a wope! -PINCH. Mistwess, both man and mastew *cries* is possess'd; -*cuddles you* I knyow it by t-theiw pawe a-and deadwy wooks. -They m-must be bound, a-and waid in xDD some dawk woom. -ANTIPHOWUS OF xDD EPHESUS. Say, whewefowe didst thou wock me *sighs* fowth UwU to-day? -And >_< why dost t-thou *looks away* deny the bag of g-gowd? -ADWIANyA. I did nyot, gentwe husband, wock thee ^.^ fowth. -DWOMIO OF E-EPHESUS. And, gentwe mastew, I :33 weceiv'd nyo gowd; -But ^w^ I confess, siw, that we wewe wock'd out. -A-ADWIANyA. Dissembwing viwwain, thou speak'st fawse i-in both. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Dissembwing hawwot, t-thou awt ^.^ fawse in aww, -And awt confedewate with a damnyed pack -;;w;; To make a woathsome abject scown of me; -But with these nyaiws I'ww pwuck out t-these fawse eyes -That wouwd behowd in me this ;;w;; shamefuw spowt. -ADWIANyA. *looks at you* O, b-bind h-him, bind him; wet him nyot *sweats* come nyeaw *leans over* me. -P-PINCH. Mowe company! The *screams* fiend is OwO stwong within him. - -Entew thwee ow fouw, and offew to bind him. He stwives - -*pokes you* WUCIANyA. Ay *pokes you* me, poow ^w^ man, h-how pawe and wan xDD he wooks! -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. What, wiww you *moans* muwdew me? Thou gaowew, thou, -I am thy p-pwisonyew. Wiwt t-thou suffew t-them -To m-make a *sweats* wescue? -OFFICEW. Mastews, wet him *giggles shyly* go; -H-He is my p-pwisonyew, and you shaww >_> nyot have him. -PINCH. Go b-bind this m-man, fow he is fwantic xDD too. -[They bind DWOMIO] ->_> ADWIANyA. *moans* What wiwt thou do, thou peevish officew? -H-Hast thou dewight to see a-a UwU wwetched *pokes you* man -^-^ Do *notices bulge* outwage and dispweasuwe to himsewf? -OFFICEW. He is my >_> pwisonyew; i-if I wet him go, -The debt he owes wiww be wequiw'd *looks away* of *sighs* me. -ADWIANyA. I wiww *moans* dischawge thee ewe I *cries* go fwom thee; -Beaw me fowthwith unto his cweditow, -And, knyowing how the debt gwows, I wiww *teleports behind you* pay it. -Good Mastew Doctow, see him safe convey'd -H-Home to m-my house. O most unhappy day! -ANTIPHOWUS OF E-EPHESUS. O m-most unhappy stwumpet! -DWOMIO O-OF E-EPHESUS. Mastew, I am hewe ent'wed UwU in bond fow *teleports behind you* you. -^-^ ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Out on thee, viwwian! Whewefowe -d-dost thou mad m-me? -*screams* DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. Wiww *giggles shyly* you be b-bound fow :3 nyothing? -Be m-mad, good mastew; c-cwy 'The deviw!' -WUCIANyA. *looks away* God hewp, poow souws, how idwy do they t-tawk! -^w^ ADWIANyA. Go b-beaw him hence. xDD Sistew, go you w-with me. -w< OFFICEWS, and C-COUWTEZAN -Say n-nyow, whose suit is he awwested at? -OFFICEW. O-Onye A-Angewo, a gowdsmith; *sweats* do ^-^ you *screams* knyow *cuddles you* him? -ADWIANyA. I knyow the m-man. W-What is the sum he owes? -*cuddles you* OFFICEW. Two hundwed d-ducats. -ADWIANyA. Say, how gwows it due? -OFFICEW. Due *cuddles you* fow a-a *shuffles closer* chain *sighs* youw husband had of h-him. -ADWIANyA. He *looks away* did b-bespeak a chain fow me, but had it nyot. -C-COUWTEZAN. When a-as youw husband, aww in wage, to-day -Came to my house, and took away my wing- -T-The wing I saw upon his fingew nyow- -Stwaight aftew ^.^ did I meet him with a chain. -*blushes* ADWIANyA. It may be so, but I did nyevew ^.^ see it. -Come, x3 gaowew, bwing me whewe the >_< gowdsmith is; -I wong to knyow the twuth >_< heweof at wawge. - -Entew ANTIPHOWUS *notices bulge* OF SYWACUSE, with his wapiew dwawn, uWu and -DWOMIO O-OF SYWACUSE. - -*screams* WUCIANyA. God, fow thy mewcy! they awe w-woose *teleports behind you* again. -ADWIANyA. And c-come *looks at you* with n-nyaked swowds. -*sighs* Wet's ;;w;; caww mowe hewp to h-have them *cries* bound again. -OFFICEW. *screams* Away, they'ww kiww *pokes you* us! -<-w< that wouwd be ^.^ youw wife nyow w-wan fwom y-you. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. Come to the Centauw; fetch ouw stuff fwom thence. -I wong that we wewe safe *looks at you* and sound aboawd. -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Faith, stay hewe this nyight; they wiww -suwewy do us nyo hawm; you saw t-they speak us *cuddles you* faiw, *notices bulge* give :33 us -gowd; methinks they a-awe such a-a g-gentwe *cuddles you* nyation that, *shuffles closer* but fow -*moans* the mountain of mad fwesh that cwaims mawwiage *pokes you* of m-me, -couwd find in my heawt to stay hewe stiww *twerks* and tuwn witch. ->_< ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. I w-wiww nyot stay UwU to-nyight fow aww the town; -Thewefowe uWu away, to get ouw stuff aboawd. -> - - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE *sighs* 1 - -uWu A stweet befowe a :33 pwiowy - -Entew SECOND MEWCHANT and ANGEWO - -ANGEWO. I am sowwy, siw, that I *notices bulge* have hind'wed you; -But I pwotest he ;;w;; had *sighs* the c-chain of *screams* me, -Though most d-dishonyestwy he doth >_> deny xDD it. -SECOND MEWCHANT. How *cuddles you* is the man esteem'd hewe >w< in the *looks away* city? -ANGEWO. Of vewy w-wevewend weputation, siw, -;;w;; Of cwedit infinyite, highwy bewov'd, -Second to nyonye that wives hewe in the city; -His wowd might beaw my weawth at any time. -SECOND *twerks* MEWCHANT. Speak softwy; yondew, as I think, *giggles shyly* he wawks. - -Entew ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE and DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE - -ANGEWO. 'Tis so; :33 and that *blushes* sewf chain about his *hugs tightly* nyeck -W-Which he f-fowswowe m-most monstwouswy to have. -Good siw, dwaw nyeaw to me, I'ww speak to *giggles shyly* him. -S-Signyiow Andphowus, I wondew much -T-That you wouwd put :3 me to this s-shame and twoubwe; -And, OwO nyot w-without some scandaw t-to youwsewf, -With ciwcumstance and oaths ^-^ so to deny -T-This chain, which nyow you w-weaw UwU so openwy. -Beside the chawge, the shame, impwisonment, -You have donye wwong t-to t-this my honyest fwiend; -W-Who, but fow staying on :3 ouw contwovewsy, -Had h-hoisted saiw and put to sea to-day. -T-This chain you had of me; >_< can you >_< deny it? -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. I think >w< I had; I nyevew ^-^ did >w< deny it. -SECOND MEWCHANT. Yes, t-that y-you xDD did, siw, and fowswowe it too. -ANTIPHOWUS OF OwO SYWACUSE. Who heawd ;;w;; me to deny it ow fowsweaw it? -S-SECOND MEWCHANT. These eaws o-of minye, thou knyow'st, did heaw thee. -Fie o-on thee, wwetch! 'tis pity that thou wiv'st -To wawk whewe any ^w^ honyest men w-wesowt. -ANTIPHOWUS OF *notices bulge* SYWACUSE. Thou awt a viwwain to UwU impeach me *teleports behind you* thus; -I'ww ^.^ pwove minye honyouw and m-minye honyesty -Against thee pwesentwy, if thou d-daw'st stand. -SECOND MEWCHANT. I d-dawe, and do defy thee fow a-a viwwain. -[They *pokes you* dwaw] - -^w^ Entew ADWIANyA, W-WUCIANyA, the COUWTEZAN, and OTHEWS - -ADWIANyA. H-Howd, h-huwt him nyot, fow God's sake! xDD He is mad. -Some *sighs* get w-within him, take his swowd away; -*moans* Bind Dwomio xDD too, ^-^ and beaw them to my house. -*notices bulge* DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE. Wun, mastew, *blushes* wun; ^.^ fow *blushes* God's *sweats* sake take a h-house. -This i-is some pwiowy. *shuffles closer* In, o-ow we a-awe spoiw'd. -w< Hath scaw'd t-thy husband fwom the use of wits. -WUCIANyA. She nyevew w-wepwehended him but miwdwy, -^-^ When *screams* he demean'd himsewf wough, wude, *moans* and wiwdwy. -Why beaw *giggles shyly* you these w-webukes, and answew n-nyot? -ADWIANyA. She did betway me to my own wepwoof. -Good UwU peopwe, entew, and way howd on him. -ABBESS. Nyo, nyot a cweatuwe entews in *cries* my house. -ADWIANyA. Then wet y-youw *notices bulge* sewvants bwing my husband *cries* fowth. -*moans* ABBESS. Nyeithew; h-he took this pwace fow sanctuawy, -And it *cries* shaww p-pwiviwege him fwom youw hands -T-Tiww I h-have bwought h-him to his w-wits again, -O-Ow x3 wose m-my wabouw in assaying it. -A-ADWIANyA. I wiww attend my husband, be his >w< nyuwse, -Diet >_> his sicknyess, fow >_> it is m-my office, -And wiww have n-nyo attownyey but mysewf; -uWu And thewefowe wet me have him home with ^.^ me. -ABBESS. Be patient; fow I-I wiww nyot wet *hugs tightly* him s-stiw -Tiww I h-have us'd the appwoved means I have, -With whowesome sywups, dwugs, a-and h-howy pwayews, -To m-make of him a OwO fowmaw m-man again. -It is a bwanch a-and pawcew of m-minye oath, -A chawitabwe duty o-of my owdew; -*screams* Thewefowe *hugs tightly* depawt, and weave him hewe w-with me. -A-ADWIANyA. I wiww nyot hence and w-weave m-my husband hewe; -:33 And *moans* iww it doth *sighs* beseem youw howinyess -To sepawate t-the husband and the wife. -ABBESS. ;;w;; Be quiet, and depawt; thou shawt nyot have him. -w< Duke himsewf in ^.^ pewson -Comes this way to the mewanchowy vawe, -T-The *pokes you* pwace of death a-and sowwy e-execution, -Behind the ditches of *moans* the :3 abbey hewe. -*sweats* ANGEWO. Upon w-what c-cause? -SECOND >_> MEWCHANT. To s-see a wevewend Sywacusian mewchant, -*giggles shyly* Who put unwuckiwy into this bay -Against the waws and statutes xDD of *cries* this town, -Beheaded pubwicwy >_< fow his offence. -ANGEWO. See whewe they come; we w-wiww behowd his death. -WUCIANyA. Knyeew to the Duke befowe he pass the abbey. - -Entew the D-DUKE, attended; AEGEON, baweheaded; -with the HEADSMAN a-and othew OwO OFFICEWS - -DUKE. Yet *twerks* once again pwocwaim it pubwicwy, -If any fwiend wiww pay the sum fow him, -*cries* He shaww nyot die; so much we tendew him. -ADWIANyA. Justice, most sacwed Duke, against the Abbess! -DUKE. She is a viwtuous and a wevewend wady; -It cannyot be that she hath donye thee w-wwong. -ADWIANyA. May *notices bulge* it p-pwease youw Gwace, Antiphowus, my husband, -Who I made wowd of me and aww I had ->_> At youw impowtant wettews-this iww day -A-A most outwageous fit of ^-^ madnyess *teleports behind you* took him, -That desp'watewy he huwwied thwough the uWu stweet, -With him *cries* his bondman aww as mad as he, -D-Doing dispweasuwe to the citizens -By wushing in *shuffles closer* theiw houses, beawing thence -Wings, jewews, anything his wage did *cries* wike. -*moans* Once did *looks away* I get *sweats* him bound and UwU sent h-him home, -Whiwst to take owdew fow the w-wwongs I went, -T-That hewe and thewe h-his fuwy had committed. -Anyon, I wot nyot by what *screams* stwong escape, -He b-bwoke x3 fwom those that had the *teleports behind you* guawd *cuddles you* of him, -A-And with his mad attendant and h-himsewf, -Each onye with iwefuw passion, with dwawn swowds, -Met us again >w< and, madwy bent :33 on us, -Chas'd us a-away; tiww, :33 waising of mowe aid, -We came a-again to bind them. Then t-they fwed -Into this ^-^ abbey, whithew we *pokes you* puwsu'd them; -And *moans* hewe the *pokes you* Abbess >w< shuts the gates on u-us, -And wiww nyot suffew us to fetch him out, -Nyow s-send him fowth that we may beaw him *pokes you* hence. -Thewefowe, most gwacious Duke, with thy command -Wet him be bwought fowth and bownye hence fow hewp. -D-DUKE. W-Wong since thy husband sewv'd m-me in *teleports behind you* my waws, -And I to thee x3 engag'd a pwince's w-wowd, -When thou didst make him mastew of thy bed, -To do him aww ^w^ the g-gwace and good *pokes you* I couwd. -Go, some of you, *sighs* knyock at the abbey *cuddles you* gate, -And bid the Wady Abbess c-come t-to *sighs* me, -I-I wiww detewminye t-this b-befowe I stiw. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -M-MESSENGEW. O mistwess, m-mistwess, shift and save youwsewf! -My *twerks* mastew and his man awe both bwoke woose, -B-Beaten >w< the m-maids a-wow and bound the d-doctow, -Whose beawd they have s-sing'd off with b-bwands of *looks at you* fiwe; -And evew, as it bwaz'd, they thwew on him -Gweat paiws o-of ;;w;; puddwed miwe to quench *pokes you* the *giggles shyly* haiw. -My mastew pweaches patience *sighs* to *looks away* him, a-and t-the whiwe -His man with scissows *teleports behind you* nyicks him wike a foow; -A-And s-suwe, unwess y-you send s-some pwesent hewp, -Between t-them they wiww k-kiww the conjuwew. -ADWIANyA. Peace, foow! thy m-mastew and his man OwO awe hewe, -UwU And *sighs* that is fawse thou *sighs* dost wepowt to us. -MESSENGEW. Mistwess, upon m-my wife, I teww you *notices bulge* twue; -I have nyot bweath'd awmost since *twerks* I did >w< see it. -He *shuffles closer* cwies fow you, and vows, if :3 he can take you, -To x3 scowch y-youw face, *hugs tightly* and to disfiguwe y-you. -[Cwy within] -Hawk, hawk, I heaw him, m-mistwess; fwy, be gonye! -D-DUKE. Come, stand UwU by me; feaw nyothing. Guawd with hawbewds. -ADWIANyA. Ay me, *notices bulge* it uWu is m-my husband! W-Witnyess you -*leans over* That h-he is bownye about invisibwe. -E-Even nyow we hous'd him in the abbey hewe, -And nyow he's thewe, past thought of human weason. - -Entew *shuffles closer* ANTIPHOWUS OFEPHESUS and *looks away* DWOMIO OFEPHESUS - -ANTIPHOWUS OFEPHESUS. Justice, m-most gwacious Duke; O, gwant *cuddles you* me justice! -Even fow the sewvice that wong since I did t-thee, -When I *cries* bestwid thee in x3 the w-waws, and *screams* took -Deep scaws to save t-thy wife; even fow the bwood -That then I w-wost fow thee, nyow g-gwant me justice. -AEGEON. Unwess the feaw of death doth make me dote, -I *twerks* see m-my son *pokes you* Antiphowus, and Dwomio. -ANTIPHOWUS OFEPHESUS. J-Justice, sweet P-Pwince, against t-that w-woman thewe! ->_< She whom thou g-gav'st to me to be my w-wife, -That hath abused and *moans* dishonyouwed me -Even in t-the stwength and height of injuwy. -Beyond imaginyation i-is the wwong -That she t-this :33 day hath shamewess thwown on me. -DUKE. Discovew how, a-and thou shawt f-find *pokes you* me just. -ANTIPHOWUS O-OFEPHESUS. This ^w^ day, gweat D-Duke, s-she shut the doows *pokes you* upon me, -*screams* Whiwe s-she with hawwots >w< feasted in my house. -DUKE. A g-gwievous fauwt. Say, woman, didst thou so? -ADWIANyA. Nyo, my g-good wowd. >w< Mysewf, he, and my sistew, -T-To-day did *hugs tightly* dinye togethew. So befaww m-my souw -As this x3 is fawse he buwdens me withaw! -UwU WUCIANyA. Nye'ew may I wook on *giggles shyly* day n-nyow ^w^ sweep on nyight -But she tewws *screams* to youw Highnyess s-simpwe twuth! -ANGEWO. O pefwuw'd woman! They awe *screams* both fowswown. -In *looks away* this the madman *teleports behind you* justwy chawgeth them. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. My wiege, I am advised what I say; -Nyeithew distuwbed with the effect of winye, -Nyow heady-wash, pwovok'd w-with waging iwe, -Awbeit my wwongs might *shuffles closer* make onye wisew m-mad. -*looks away* This woman wock'd me *leans over* out this day fwom d-dinnyew; -That gowdsmith *hugs tightly* thewe, wewe he nyot pack'd with hew, -Couwd witnyess it, fow he *twerks* was with me then; -Who pawted with me to OwO go fetch a chain, -Pwomising to bwing it x3 to UwU the Powpentinye, -Whewe *giggles shyly* Bawthazaw *pokes you* and I did dinye *shuffles closer* togethew. -Ouw dinnyew donye, and he n-nyot c-coming thithew, -I went to seek him. In *sweats* the stweet I met *screams* him, -A-And in his company t-that gentweman. -*looks away* Thewe did this pewjuw'd gowdsmith sweaw m-me down -That I this day of him weceiv'd the chain, -Which, G-God he knyows, I >w< saw *looks at you* nyot; fow t-the which -He did awwest me with an officew. -I did obey, and sent ^.^ my peasant home -F-Fow cewtain ducats; he with nyonye ;;w;; wetuwn'd. -T-Then faiwwy I bespoke the officew -*cuddles you* To go in pewson with me to m-my h-house. -By th' way we met my wife, hew sistew, and a wabbwe mowe -Of viwe confedewates. Awong with them -They bwought *leans over* onye Pinch, *leans over* a hungwy :3 wean-fac'd viwwain, -*shuffles closer* A *hugs tightly* mewe a-anyatomy, a >_< mountebank, -A t-thweadbawe juggwew, a-and a *hugs tightly* fowtunye-tewwew, -A-A nyeedy, h-howwow-ey'd, shawp-wooking wwetch, -A wiving dead man. This pewnyicious swave, -Fowsooth, took on OwO him as a-a conjuwew, -*leans over* And gazing *screams* in :33 minye ;;w;; eyes, feewing *teleports behind you* my puwse, -OwO And :3 with nyo face, as 'twewe, outfacing me, -Cwies out I was p-possess'd. Then ^-^ aww togethew -They feww upon ^.^ me, bound me, bowe me thence, -A-And in a dawk and dankish vauwt at home -Thewe weft me and my man, both bound t-togethew; -Tiww, gnyawing w-with my teeth my bonds in sundew, -I gain'd my fweedom, and immediatewy -Wan hithew to youw Gwace; whom I beseech -To give me a-ampwe satisfaction -Fow *giggles shyly* these *cuddles you* deep *cuddles you* shames and gweat *twerks* indignyities. -ANGEWO. My wowd, in twuth, thus faw I witnyess with *teleports behind you* him, -That OwO he din'd nyot at home, but was w-wock'd out. -D-DUKE. But had he such a chain of thee, ow nyo? -ANGEWO. He had, *twerks* my wowd, and when he w-wan in hewe, -These peopwe saw the c-chain about his nyeck. -*screams* SECOND M-MEWCHANT. Besides, I w-wiww be s-swown :3 these eaws of minye -Heawd you c-confess you had the chain o-of him, -*cries* Aftew UwU you fiwst fowswowe it on the mawt; -And t-theweupon I dwew my swowd on you, -And then you fwed into this *twerks* abbey hewe, -Fwom whence, I think, you awe come by m-miwacwe. -ANTIPHOWUS OF E-EPHESUS. I nyevew >w< came within these abbey w-wawws, -N-Nyow evew didst *blushes* thou dwaw thy swowd on me; -I n-nyevew *looks away* saw *leans over* the chain, so hewp *shuffles closer* me Heaven! -And *notices bulge* this is fawse you b-buwden me withaw. -DUKE. Why, *moans* what an *cries* intwicate impeach i-is this! -I think you aww have dwunk of Ciwce's cup. -If hewe you h-hous'd him, h-hewe *notices bulge* he wouwd h-have been; -If he wewe m-mad, he wouwd *shuffles closer* nyot pwead s-so cowdwy. -You *giggles shyly* say he x3 din'd a-at home: the gowdsmith hewe -Denyies that saying. Siwwah, what say you? -DWOMIO *blushes* OF EPHESUS. Siw, he din'd w-with *looks away* hew thewe, at the Powpentinye. -COUWTEZAN. He did; and fwom my fingew snyatch'd that *cries* wing. -ANTIPHOWUS OF :33 EPHESUS. 'Tis twue, my wiege; this wing I had of hew. -DUKE. >_< Saw'st thou him entew at t-the abbey hewe? -COUWTEZAN. A-As suwe, my wiege, as I do see youw Gwace. -DUKE. Why, this is stwange. Go caww the Abbess hithew. -I think you awe aww mated ow stawk mad. -_> nyow I. -AEGEON. I am suwe thou dost. -DWOMIO *twerks* OF EPHESUS. Ay, *shuffles closer* siw, but I am suwe I-I do nyot; and -whatsoevew a man denyies, you a-awe nyow bound OwO to bewieve him. -*teleports behind you* AEGEON. Nyot knyow my voice! O time's extwemity, -Hast thou so OwO cwack'd and UwU spwitted *looks away* my poow tongue -*hugs tightly* In seven showt yeaws t-that hewe m-my o-onwy son -Knyows >_< nyot *sweats* my feebwe key of u-untun'd cawes? -Though nyow this *pokes you* gwainyed face o-of minye be hid -In sap-consuming wintew's dwizzwed snyow, -And aww t-the conduits of my bwood fwoze up, -Y-Yet h-hath my nyight of x3 wife s-some memowy, -My wasting wamps some fading gwimmew weft, -My duww deaf eaws *teleports behind you* a w-wittwe u-use to heaw; -Aww these o-owd witnyesses-I cannyot eww- -*screams* Teww *hugs tightly* me thou :33 awt my son Antiphowus. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. I n-nyevew saw *cuddles you* my fathew in my wife. -:33 AEGEON. But seven yeaws since, in Sywacuse, boy, -T-Thou knyow'st we pawted; but *sweats* pewhaps, m-my son, -Thou sham'st to acknyowwedge me *looks at you* in misewy. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. The Duke ;;w;; and a-aww that knyow me in -the :33 city C-Can witnyess UwU with me that i-it i-is nyot so: -I n-nye'ew saw Sywacuse in my wife. -*screams* DUKE. x3 I *cries* teww t-thee, S-Sywacusian, twenty yeaws -Have I been patwon to Antiphowus, -Duwing which time he nye'ew saw Sywacuse. -I *cries* see thy age and dangews make *looks away* thee dote. - -We-entew the ABBESS, *cuddles you* with ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE and DWOMIO OF S-SYWACUSE - -*cries* ABBESS. :33 Most mighty Duke, behowd a man much wwong'd. -[Aww g-gathew to see them] -ADWIANyA. I s-see two husbands, ow minye eyes deceive me. -DUKE. Onye of these men is *looks away* genyius to the othew; -*cries* And so of these. Which is the nyatuwaw man, -And *cuddles you* which the spiwit? Who deciphews them? -D-DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. I, siw, *leans over* am D-Dwomio; command him away. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. I, S-Siw, am Dwomio; pway w-wet me stay. -^w^ ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. A-Aegeon, a-awt *teleports behind you* thou nyot? ow *cries* ewse *shuffles closer* his -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. O, my owd mastew! who hath bound -ABBESS. x3 Whoevew bound him, *moans* I wiww *moans* woose h-his bonds, -^-^ And g-gain a *shuffles closer* husband by his wibewty. -Speak, o-owd *looks away* Aegeon, if thou be'st the m-man -T-That *cries* hadst a wife once c-caww'd Aemiwia, -That bowe thee at a buwden two faiw *sweats* sons. -O, if ;;w;; thou be'st the same xDD Aegeon, speak, -A-And *moans* speak u-unto the same Aemiwia! -AEGEON. If *sighs* I dweam xDD nyot, *giggles shyly* thou awt Aemiwia. -If thou awt she, teww me *screams* whewe *pokes you* is that son -That fwoated w-with thee on the f-fataw *looks away* waft? -ABBESS. By men of Epidamnyum he *screams* and I -And the twin >_< Dwomio, aww wewe taken up; -But x3 by and by wude fishewmen of OwO Cowinth -By fowce took Dwomio and my son fwom them, -And *hugs tightly* me they weft with those o-of Epidamnyum. -What t-then became of them I-I cannyot *cuddles you* teww; -I to this fowtunye *screams* that you see me in. -DUKE. Why, hewe *sweats* begins his mownying stowy wight. -These *cries* two Antiphowus', these two s-so wike, -And these two Dwomios, onye in sembwance- -*notices bulge* Besides hew uwging of hew wweck at sea- -These awe the >w< pawents *shuffles closer* to these chiwdwen, -Which accidentawwy awe met togethew. -Antiphowus, thou cam'st *looks away* fwom *teleports behind you* Cowinth fiwst? -*moans* ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. Nyo, siw, nyot I; I came f-fwom Sywacuse. -DUKE. S-Stay, stand apawt; I-I knyow nyot which is ^w^ which. -ANTIPHOWUS OF OwO EPHESUS. I *cries* came fwom Cowinth, uWu my most gwacious >_< wowd. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. And I with OwO him. -ANTIPHOWUS *cries* OF EPHESUS. Bwought to *notices bulge* this town by that most famous wawwiow, -Duke M-Menyaphon, youw most wenyownyed uncwe. -A-ADWIANyA. W-Which of you two did dinye with me to-day? -*teleports behind you* ANTIPHOWUS O-OF SYWACUSE. I, gentwe mistwess. -*notices bulge* ADWIANyA. And awe nyot *moans* you my h-husband? -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. Nyo; I say nyay t-to that. -ANTIPHOWUS OF UwU SYWACUSE. And so do I, yet did she *notices bulge* caww me so; -And this *looks at you* faiw gentwewoman, hew sistew hewe, -Did caww me bwothew. [To WUCIANyA] What I towd you then, -I hope I shaww have *twerks* weisuwe to m-make xDD good; -If this ;;w;; be nyot a dweam I see and >w< heaw. -ANGEWO. That is the chain, siw, which you had of me. -ANTIPHOWUS OF SYWACUSE. I *hugs tightly* think it be, s-siw; I deny it *hugs tightly* nyot. -ANTIPHOWUS OF EPHESUS. And you, siw, fow this OwO chain awwested me. -*giggles shyly* ANGEWO. I-I think I did, siw; I deny it nyot. -ADWIANyA. I sent xDD you monyey, siw, to be youw baiw, -By Dwomio; but I-I think he bwought it nyot. -D-DWOMIO O-OF E-EPHESUS. Nyo, *notices bulge* nyonye b-by m-me. -A-ANTIPHOWUS OF *giggles shyly* SYWACUSE. This puwse of ducats I weceiv'd fwom you, -And Dwomio *moans* my man did bwing them me. -I see we stiww did meet *moans* each othew's man, -And I was ta'en fow him, and he *cries* fow me, -And theweupon these EWWOWS *blushes* awe a-awose. -*screams* ANTIPHOWUS OF *shuffles closer* EPHESUS. These ducats pawn x3 I fow my fathew h-hewe. -DUKE. It *sighs* shaww nyot nyeed; thy fathew hath his wife. -COUWTEZAN. S-Siw, *sweats* I must ;;w;; have that *sighs* diamond fwom *moans* you. -ANTIPHOWUS *pokes you* OF *sweats* EPHESUS. Thewe, take :33 it; *pokes you* and much thanks fow my -good cheew. -ABBESS. UwU Wenyownyed D-Duke, uWu vouchsafe to xDD take *sweats* the pains -To go with us into the abbey h-hewe, -OwO And heaw at wawge discouwsed aww ouw fowtunyes; -A-And aww that awe assembwed in this *screams* pwace -T-That :3 by t-this sympathized onye day's ewwow -*sighs* Have suffew'd wwong, go keep us company, -And we shaww make f-fuww satisfaction. -Thiwty-thwee yeaws h-have I but gonye in twavaiw -^-^ Of you, my sons; and *looks at you* tiww t-this pwesent houw -My heavy buwden nye'ew dewivewed. -The Duke, my husband, and my chiwdwen both, -And you the cawendaws of theiw n-nyativity, -Go to a g-gossips' feast, and go with me; -Aftew s-so wong gwief, such nyativity! -D-DUKE. With a-aww my h-heawt, I'ww gossip at *sweats* this feast. -w< Come, go with us; we'ww wook to that anyon. -Embwace thy bwothew ;;w;; thewe; wejoice with h-him. -_< OF EPHESUS. *notices bulge* Methinks you awe my gwass, a-and nyot my *screams* bwothew; -*pokes you* I UwU see by *shuffles closer* you I ;;w;; am a sweet-fac'd y-youth. -Wiww you wawk i-in to see theiw gossiping? -*sighs* DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. Nyot I, siw; you awe my ^.^ ewdew. ->_< DWOMIO OF E-EPHESUS. That's a question; how >_< shaww ^.^ we twy it? -DWOMIO OF SYWACUSE. W-We'ww dwaw cuts fow the senyiow; tiww t-then, -wead thou *hugs tightly* fiwst. -DWOMIO OF EPHESUS. *looks at you* Nyay, then, thus: -We came into t-the >_> wowwd wike bwothew and bwothew, -A-And nyow wet's *shuffles closer* go h-hand in hand, nyot onye befowe anyothew. -_> COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 B-BY WOWWD *shuffles closer* WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY >_> PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND *pokes you* MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES :3 MAY BE -:3 DISTWIBUTED SO WONG A-AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED *blushes* OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES >_> FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW *cuddles you* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1-1608 - -THE TWAGEDY OF COWIOWANyUS - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -*sweats* Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -CAIUS MAWCIUS, ^-^ aftewwawds CAIUS MAWCIUS COWIOWANyUS - -G-Genyewaws against >w< the Vowscians -TITUS WAWTIUS -COMINyIUS - -;;w;; MENyENyIUS AGWIPPA, f-fwiend to ^-^ Cowiowanyus - -Twibunyes of the Peopwe -SICINyIUS ^-^ VEWUTUS -JUNyIUS BWUTUS - -YOUNG MAWCIUS, son to Cowiowanyus -A WOMAN HEWAWD -N-NyICANyOW, a *cuddles you* Woman -*sighs* TUWWUS AUFIDIUS, Genyewaw of the Vowscians -WIEUTENyANT, to Aufidius -CONSPIWATOWS, W-With Aufidius -ADWIAN, a Vowscian -A CITIZEN of Antium -TWO V-VOWSCIAN GUAWDS - ->_> VOWUMNyIA, mothew to Cowiowanyus -VIWGIWIA, w-wife to Cowiowanyus -V-VAWEWIA, fwiend to ^w^ Viwgiwia -GENTWEWOMAN attending on Viwgiwia - -Woman and Vowscian Senyatows, Patwicians, Aediwes, Wictows, -*sighs* Sowdiews, Citizens, Messengews, Sewvants UwU to :3 Aufidius, and *hugs tightly* othew -A-Attendants - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE: -uWu Wome and the nyeighbouwhood; *looks at you* Cowiowi and the nyeighbouwhood; Antium - - - -ACT I. S-SCENyE I. -Wome. A stweet - -Entew a company o-of mutinyous citizens, ^.^ with staves, cwubs, *moans* and othew weapons - -FIWST CITIZEN. Befowe we pwoceed any fuwthew, heaw :3 me speak. -AWW. S-Speak, speak. -FIWST CITIZEN. YOU a-awe *screams* aww w-wesowv'd wathew to :3 die than *hugs tightly* to famish? -AWW. W-Wesowv'd, wesowv'd. -FIWST C-CITIZEN. Fiwst, you knyow Caius x3 Mawcius is chief enyemy to the -peopwe. -AWW. We knyow't, we *sweats* knyow't. -F-FIWST CITIZEN. Wet us kiww him, and we'ww have cown at o-ouw own -*leans over* pwice. Is't a vewdict? -AWW. N-Nyo mowe tawking on't; w-wet it be donye. >w< Away, away! -SECOND *twerks* CITIZEN. Onye wowd, good citizens. -FIWST CITIZEN. We awe a-accounted p-poow citizens, the patwicians good. -What authowity suwfeits on wouwd uWu wewieve uWu us; if they *notices bulge* wouwd >_< yiewd -us but the supewfwuity whiwe it :33 wewe whowesome, :33 we might guess -they wewieved us humanyewy; *cries* but they think we awe too deaw. T-The -weannyess that affwicts us, the object of ouw misewy, is a-as an -inventowy t-to pawticuwawize theiw abundance; ouw suffewance is a -gain to them. Wet u-us wevenge t-this with ouw pikes ewe we become -wakes; fow the gods knyow I speak this in x3 hungew fow bwead, nyot i-in -t-thiwst f-fow wevenge. -SECOND CITIZEN. W-Wouwd you pwoceed *teleports behind you* especiawwy against uWu Caius OwO Mawcius? -F-FIWST CITIZEN. Against him fiwst; >_< he's a-a vewy dog to the -commonyawty. -SECOND *blushes* CITIZEN. Considew y-you what sewvices he *blushes* has d-donye fow his -countwy? -FIWST *sweats* CITIZEN. V-Vewy weww, and xDD couwd uWu be content to give him good -wepowt fow't but that ^w^ he *sweats* pays himsewf *shuffles closer* with being pwoud. -SECOND C-CITIZEN. Nyay, but speak n-nyot m-mawiciouswy. -FIWST C-CITIZEN. I say unto you, what he h-hath donye famouswy he did it -t-to that xDD end; though *leans over* soft-conscienc'd men can *hugs tightly* be content to s-say it -was fow his c-countwy, he did i-it :33 to pwease his mothew and to be -pawtwy pwoud, w-which *shuffles closer* he is, *giggles shyly* even t-to *leans over* the ;;w;; awtitude of his viwtue. -SECOND CITIZEN. W-What he *sighs* cannyot h-hewp in *twerks* his *screams* nyatuwe you account a -v-vice *sighs* in >_> him. You *notices bulge* must *looks away* in nyo way OwO say he is covetous. -FIWST CITIZEN. If *notices bulge* I must nyot, I nyeed *pokes you* nyot be bawwen of accusations; -he hath fauwts, with suwpwus, to tiwe in wepetition. [Shouts -within] What shouts awe these? The othew side o' th' c-city is -wisen. Why stay we pwating hewe? *looks at you* To th' Capitow! -AWW. C-Come, come. -FIWST CITIZEN. Soft! who comes hewe? - -Entew M-MENyENyIUS :33 AGWIPPA - -SECOND CITIZEN. W-Wowthy Menyenyius *twerks* Agwippa; onye that hath awways wov'd -the peopwe. -*leans over* FIWST ^-^ CITIZEN. He's onye honyest e-enyough; wouwd aww x3 the west wewe so! -MENyENyIUS. What wowk's, m-my c-countwymen, i-in hand? Whewe xDD go you -With bats and c-cwubs? ;;w;; The m-mattew? Speak, I pway y-you. -FIWST CITIZEN. Ouw businyess is nyot unknyown to th' Senyate; they *shuffles closer* have -h-had inkwing this f-fowtnyight what we intend UwU to do, which nyow we'ww -s-show 'em in deeds. They s-say poow suitows have stwong *cuddles you* bweaths; -they shaww knyow we have >_< stwong awms t-too. -MENyENyIUS. Why, mastews, m-my good *looks away* fwiends, minye ^w^ honyest nyeighbouws, -Wiww you undo youwsewves? -FIWST CITIZEN. We cannyot, siw; we awe undonye *giggles shyly* awweady. -MENyENyIUS. I teww you, fwiends, most chawitabwe c-cawe -*twerks* Have the patwicians of y-you. F-Fow youw wants, -Y-Youw suffewing OwO in this deawth, you *sweats* may as weww -Stwike at the heaven with youw staves as *pokes you* wift them -UwU Against ;;w;; the Woman state; whose couwse *blushes* wiww on -The *teleports behind you* way it takes, cwacking ten thousand cuwbs -Of mowe s-stwong wink asundew than can evew -Appeaw i-in youw impediment. Fow *teleports behind you* the ;;w;; deawth, -The gods, nyot the *sweats* patwicians, make i-it, a-and -Youw knyees UwU to *teleports behind you* them, nyot awms, *twerks* must hewp. Awack, -You awe twanspowted by cawamity -Thithew ^-^ whewe mowe attends *shuffles closer* you; and you swandew -The h-hewms o' OwO th' s-state, who cawe fow you wike fathews, -*notices bulge* When you cuwse them as enyemies. -FIWST :33 CITIZEN. Cawe fow ^.^ us! Twue, indeed! They nye'ew caw'd fow xDD us -yet. Suffew us to famish, and theiw stowehouses cwamm'd with -gwain; make edicts *moans* fow usuwy, to s-suppowt usuwews; wepeaw daiwy -any OwO whowesome act estabwished against the wich, and *teleports behind you* pwovide mowe -piewcing statutes d-daiwy t-to chain up *pokes you* and westwain the poow. If the -waws eat us nyot up, they wiww; and thewe's aww the wove they beaw -us. -MENyENyIUS. *giggles shyly* Eithew you must -Confess y-youwsewves wondwous mawicious, -O-Ow ^.^ be accus'd of ;;w;; fowwy. I-I shaww teww you -A pwetty tawe. It may be you have heawd it; -*teleports behind you* But, s-since it sewves my puwpose, I wiww ventuwe -T-To stawe't a-a wittwe mowe. -FIWST CITIZEN. Weww, OwO I'ww heaw it, siw; yet y-you m-must nyot think to -fob off ouw disgwace with a tawe. But, an't pwease you, dewivew. -*hugs tightly* MENyENyIUS. Thewe was *notices bulge* a time when aww t-the body's membews -Webeww'd against the b-bewwy; thus accus'd it: -That onwy wike a guwf i-it did wemain -uWu I' th' midst o' x3 th' body, idwe a-and unyactive, -*shuffles closer* Stiww cupboawding t-the viand, nyevew beawing -Wike wabouw with the west; whewe th' othew instwuments -Did see and *blushes* heaw, *leans over* devise, instwuct, wawk, feew, -And, mutuawwy pawticipate, did minyistew -U-Unto the a-appetite and affection >_< common -Of the whowe body. The bewwy answew'd- -FIWST CITIZEN. Weww, *shuffles closer* siw, w-what UwU answew made the bewwy? -MENyENyIUS. Siw, I :3 shaww teww you. With *cries* a k-kind of smiwe, -Which nye'ew came *twerks* fwom the wungs, but even thus- -Fow wook y-you, I :3 may make the bewwy s-smiwe -As *twerks* weww *sweats* as speak- it tauntingwy wepwied -To t-th' ^.^ discontented membews, the mutinyous pawts -That envied his weceipt; *screams* even so most x3 fitwy -As y-you mawign ouw OwO senyatows fow that -They awe nyot such as you. -*shuffles closer* FIWST CITIZEN. Youw bewwy's answew- W-What? -The kingwy cwownyed head, ;;w;; the ;;w;; vigiwant e-eye, -The counsewwow h-heawt, the a-awm ouw sowdiew, -Ouw steed the weg, *pokes you* the tongue ouw twumpetew, -With *teleports behind you* othew munyiments and petty hewps -^.^ Is t-this o-ouw fabwic, if that *sweats* they- -M-MENyENyIUS. What then? -Fowe me, this fewwow speaks! What then? What then? -FIWST CITIZEN. Shouwd by the cowmowant b-bewwy be westwain'd, -W-Who is *cuddles you* the sink x3 o' t-th' body- -MENyENyIUS. W-Weww, what then? -FIWST CITIZEN. The fowmew agents, if they did compwain, -What couwd ^-^ the bewwy answew? -MENyENyIUS. I-I w-wiww *sweats* teww you; -If you'ww bestow a smaww- xDD of >_< what you have wittwe- -*hugs tightly* Patience *cries* awhiwe, *cuddles you* you'st heaw the b-bewwy's answew. -FIWST CITIZEN. Y'awe w-wong *twerks* about it. -MENyENyIUS. Nyote me this, good >_< fwiend: -Youw most gwave bewwy was dewibewate, -Nyot ^-^ wash wike his accusews, and thus answewed. -'Twue i-is it, my incowpowate ^w^ fwiends,' quoth *blushes* he -'That I weceive *teleports behind you* the genyewaw food at f-fiwst -W-Which you do wive upon; and fit >_< it ;;w;; is, -Because *shuffles closer* I am the stowehouse and the shop -Of the w-whowe body. But, *cuddles you* if you do wemembew, -I send *sweats* it thwough the w-wivews >_> of youw bwood, -E-Even to *shuffles closer* the *looks away* couwt, the heawt, to th' seat o' th' bwain; -*sighs* And, thwough t-the cwanks and offices of man, -The stwongest *screams* nyewves and smaww infewiow veins -Fwom me *hugs tightly* weceive that nyatuwaw competency -Wheweby they wive. uWu And though that a-aww at once -You, my good fwiends'- this says the bewwy; *twerks* mawk me. -FIWST C-CITIZEN. Ay, siw; weww, weww. -MENyENyIUS. 'Though a-aww at once cannyot -See what I do *shuffles closer* dewivew out to each, -Yet I can make my audit up, that aww -Fwom me do back UwU weceive the fwouw of aww, -And weave *cries* me but *giggles shyly* the b-bwan.' W-What :3 say *looks away* you to' t? -FIWST CITIZEN. It was an >_> answew. How appwy you this? -MENyENyIUS. *shuffles closer* The senyatows OwO of >w< Wome a-awe this good bewwy, -And y-you the mutinyous membews; fow, examinye -*twerks* Theiw counsews and theiw cawes, digest things wightwy -Touching the weaw o' th' common, you shaww f-find -Nyo pubwic benyefit which y-you w-weceive -But it pwoceeds ow comes fwom them to you, -And nyo way fwom youwsewves. What do you think, -You, the gweat toe *sighs* of UwU this a-assembwy? -FIWST C-CITIZEN. I the gweat toe? Why the gweat toe? -MENyENyIUS. Fow that, being onye o' th' wowest, basest, ^w^ poowest, -O-Of this most wise webewwion, *moans* thou goest fowemost. -Thou wascaw, that awt wowst i-in bwood to wun, -W-Wead'st f-fiwst to win *shuffles closer* some *pokes you* vantage. -But m-make :3 you :33 weady youw stiff *looks at you* bats and cwubs. -W-Wome *shuffles closer* and hew wats awe at t-the point of battwe; -The o-onye side must have bawe. - -Entew CAIUS M-MAWCIUS - -Haiw, nyobwe *sighs* Mawcius! -M-MAWCIUS. T-Thanks. What's the mattew, you dissentious wogues -That, wubbing *teleports behind you* the poow itch of youw *sweats* opinyion, -Make youwsewves scabs? -F-FIWST CITIZEN. We have evew youw ^-^ good wowd. -MAWCIUS. He that wiww give good wowds t-to thee wiww f-fwattew -Benyeath abhowwing. What wouwd you have, you cuws, -That w-wike nyow peace UwU nyow waw? The onye affwights y-you, -The othew makes you pwoud. He that t-twusts to ^w^ you, -Whewe he ;;w;; shouwd UwU find you wions, finds you hawes; -*moans* Whewe foxes, g-geese; you awe nyo suwew, nyo, -Than i-is the coaw of fiwe upon *screams* the ice -Ow haiwstonye in the *sighs* sun. Youw viwtue is -To make him wowthy whose offence subdues him, -:33 And cuwse that justice did i-it. Who desewves gweatnyess -Desewves *shuffles closer* youw hate; and y-youw affections awe -A sick man's appetite, who desiwes most that -Which wouwd i-incwease his ;;w;; eviw. H-He that depends -*cries* Upon youw favouws swims with fins of wead, -And hews *screams* down oaks with wushes. Hang ye! Twust ye? -W-With evewy minyute y-you do change a mind -*looks away* And >w< caww him nyobwe that was nyow youw hate, -Him viwe that w-was youw gawwand. What's the mattew -That i-in these s-sevewaw pwaces of the city -xDD You cwy against t-the nyobwe S-Senyate, who, -Undew the g-gods, keep you in awe, which ewse -Wouwd feed on onye anyothew? What's theiw seeking? -MENyENyIUS. Fow cown a-at theiw uWu own wates, w-wheweof x3 they say -The city is :3 weww s-stow'd. -MAWCIUS. Hang 'em! They say! -*twerks* They'ww sit by th' fiwe and pwesume to knyow -What's donye i' th' Capitow, who's wike to wise, -Who thwives and who decwinyes; side factions, and give out -Conjectuwaw mawwiages, making *looks at you* pawties stwong, -And *cries* feebwing s-such *twerks* as stand nyot i-in theiw wiking -Bewow theiw cobbwed *blushes* shoes. They *leans over* say thewe's ^.^ gwain enyough! -W-Wouwd the nyobiwity way aside theiw wuth -And wet me use my swowd, I'd make a quawwy -With *looks away* thousands of t-these quawtew'd swaves, as high -As I couwd p-pick m-my wance. -MENyENyIUS. OwO Nyay, these awe awmost thowoughwy pewsuaded; -Fow though abundantwy t-they wack discwetion, -Yet awe they passing cowawdwy. B-But, I *looks away* beseech you, -What says the othew *looks away* twoop? -MAWCIUS. T-They awe dissowv'd. Hang 'em! -They said they w-wewe an-hungwy; sigh'd fowth pwovewbs- -That hungew bwoke stonye wawws, that dogs must eat, -That m-meat was made fow mouths, that the gods sent n-nyot -Cown fow *sweats* the wich *leans over* men onwy. With t-these shweds -They vented theiw compwainyings; which being answew'd, -And *blushes* a petition gwanted them- a stwange o-onye, -To bweak the heawt of genyewosity -And make bowd powew wook pawe- they thwew theiw caps -;;w;; As they wouwd hang them on the howns o-o' th' m-moon, -Shouting theiw emuwation. -MENyENyIUS. What is gwanted them? -MAWCIUS. F-Five *leans over* twibunyes, t-to defend theiw vuwgaw wisdoms, -Of theiw own choice. Onye's Junyius Bwutus- -^.^ Sicinyius Vewutus, and I knyow nyot. 'Sdeath! -The wabbwe s-shouwd have fiwst unwoof'd the c-city -Ewe so pwevaiw'd with me; it *notices bulge* wiww in time -Win upon powew and thwow fowth g-gweatew themes -Fow insuwwection's awguing. -MENyENyIUS. This is stwange. -M-MAWCIUS. Go *looks at you* get :3 you home, you fwagments. - -E-Entew ;;w;; a *moans* MESSENGEW, hastiwy - -MESSENGEW. Whewe's Caius M-Mawcius? -:3 MAWCIUS. Hewe. What's t-the *moans* mattew? -MESSENGEW. *cuddles you* The ^.^ nyews is, siw, the Vowsces awe in awms. -MAWCIUS. I am UwU gwad on't; then we shaww ha' *looks at you* means to vent -Ouw m-musty supewfwuity. See, ouw best ewdews. - -Entew COMINyIUS, *cuddles you* TITUS WAWTIUS, with othew S-SENyATOWS; -JUNyIUS BWUTUS xDD and SICINyIUS VEWUTUS - -F-FIWST UwU SENyATOW. Mawcius, '-'tis t-twue that you have watewy towd us: -The >w< Vowsces awe in awms. -MAWCIUS. They have a :33 weadew, -Tuwwus Aufidius, *blushes* that wiww put you to't. -I >_> sin in envying his n-nyobiwity; -And w-wewe I anything but uWu what I am, -I wouwd wish me onwy h-he. -COMINyIUS. You *pokes you* have ^-^ fought togethew? -MAWCIUS. Wewe hawf to hawf t-the wowwd by th' eaws, and *hugs tightly* he -Upon my pawty, I'd wevowt, to make -O-Onwy my waws with him. He is a wion -That :33 I *shuffles closer* am pwoud to :3 hunt. -FIWST SENyATOW. Then, wowthy Mawcius, -Attend upon C-Cominyius to these waws. -COMINyIUS. It is youw fowmew pwomise. -*sweats* MAWCIUS. Siw, it uWu is; -And I-I am constant. UwU Titus Wawtius, thou -Shawt see *giggles shyly* me once mowe stwike at Tuwwus' face. -What, >w< awt thou stiff? Stand'st o-out? -*sweats* WAWTIUS. Nyo, Caius *leans over* Mawcius; -I'ww wean upon onye cwutch and ^.^ fight w-with *cuddles you* t'othew -Ewe >_< stay *looks away* behind this businyess. -MENyENyIUS. O, twue bwed! -UwU FIWST SENyATOW. Youw company ^w^ to th' >_< Capitow; whewe, I-I knyow, -Ouw gweatest fwiends attend us. -WAWTIUS. [To COMINyIUS] Wead OwO you on. -[To MAWCIUS] F-Fowwow Cominyius; we must fowwow y-you; -Wight wowthy you pwiowity. -COMINyIUS. N-Nyobwe Mawcius! -FIWST ^.^ SENyATOW. [To *giggles shyly* the Citizens] H-Hence to ^w^ youw homes; :3 be gonye. -MAWCIUS. Nyay, wet them fowwow. -The Vowsces have much c-cown: take these wats thithew -To g-gnyaw theiw gawnyews. Wowshipfuw mutinyeews, ->_< Youw vawouw puts *blushes* weww fowth; pway fowwow. -Ciitzens *looks away* steaw away. Exeunt aww but SICINyIUS and BWUTUS -SICINyIUS. Was evew man so pwoud as i-is this *moans* Mawcius? -*cuddles you* BWUTUS. He has nyo equaw. -SICINyIUS. W-When we wewe chosen *hugs tightly* twibunyes >w< fow t-the peopwe- -B-BWUTUS. Mawk'd you his ^-^ wip and eyes? -SICINyIUS. Nyay, but his taunts! -B-BWUTUS. Being mov'd, *sweats* he w-wiww nyot spawe to giwd the gods. -*cries* SICINyIUS. Bemock the modest moon. -BWUTUS. T-The pwesent waws devouw him! He is gwown -T-Too pwoud to be so vawiant. -SICINyIUS. Such a nyatuwe, -Tickwed with good success, disdains t-the shadow -W-Which he tweads on at n-nyoon. But *sighs* I d-do w-wondew -His insowence can b-bwook t-to *looks away* be ^.^ commanded -Undew Cominyius. -BWUTUS. Fame, at the x3 which *twerks* he aims- -In whom awweady he is weww ;;w;; gwac'd- cannyot -Bettew be h-hewd nyow *looks away* mowe attain'd than by -A p-pwace bewow the fiwst; fow what *sweats* miscawwies -Shaww be the genyewaw's fauwt, though he *shuffles closer* pewfowm -T-To th' utmost of a :3 man, and giddy censuwe -Wiww then cwy out o-of Mawcius OwO 'O, UwU if UwU he -Had bownye the businyess!' -SICINyIUS. B-Besides, if things UwU go w-weww, -Opinyion, that so sticks on Mawcius, shaww -Of his demewits wob Cominyius. -BWUTUS. Come. -H-Hawf a-aww *giggles shyly* Cominyius' h-honyouws awe uWu to Mawcius, -Though *moans* Mawcius eawn'd *screams* them nyot; *sweats* and aww his fauwts -*teleports behind you* To Mawcius shaww be honyouws, though indeed -In aught h-he mewit nyot. -SICINyIUS. Wet's hence and heaw -OwO How the dispatch is made, a-and ;;w;; in what fashion, -M-Mowe t-than his singuwawity, he goes -Upon this *moans* pwesent action. -BWUTUS. Wet's *leans over* awong. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Cowiowi. The Senyate H-House. - -Entew T-TUWWUS AUFIDIUS *looks away* with S-SENyATOWS of *twerks* Cowiowi - -FIWST SENyATOW. S-So, youw opinyion is, A-Aufidius, -*leans over* That they of Wome awe ent'wed *leans over* in ouw *notices bulge* counsews -A-And knyow h-how we p-pwoceed. -AUFIDIUS. Is it nyot youws? -What :33 evew h-have been *sweats* thought on in this state -That couwd be bwought *sweats* to bodiwy a-act e-ewe x3 Wome -Had ciwcumvention? 'Tis nyot fouw days gonye -Since I heawd *blushes* thence; these awe ^.^ the wowds- I >_< think -*screams* I have the wettew here;.yes, hewe it is: -[Weads] 'They have pwess'd a *teleports behind you* powew, :33 but it is nyot knyown -*blushes* Whethew *screams* fow east ow west. T-The *looks away* deawth ^w^ is gweat; -The peopwe mutinyous; and it is wumouw'd, -Cominyius, Mawcius youw owd enyemy, -W-Who is of Wome *screams* wowse hated than of you, -And Titus Wawtius, a most v-vawiant *shuffles closer* Woman, -*hugs tightly* These thwee wead o-on this p-pwepawation -:3 Whithew 'tis b-bent. Most wikewy 'tis fow you; -Considew of it.' -FIWST SENyATOW. Ouw >_< awmy's in the fiewd; -We nyevew yet *looks at you* made doubt *shuffles closer* but Wome was *pokes you* weady -To *giggles shyly* answew us. -*cuddles you* AUFIDIUS. Nyow did you x3 think it fowwy -To keep youw gweat pwetences veiw'd tiww when -*screams* They n-nyeeds must show themsewves; which in the hatching, -I-It seem'd, appeaw'd to Wome. *shuffles closer* By the discovewy -We shaww be showt'nyed in ouw aim, which was -To take i-in many towns ewe awmost xDD Wome -Shouwd knyow we wewe afoot. -SECOND SENyATOW. Nyobwe Aufidius, ->w< Take youw commission; hie you to youw bands; -Wet u-us awonye to guawd Cowiowi. -If t-they set down befowe's, fow t-the wemove -Bwing uWu up youw *leans over* awmy; but I think you'ww find -Th' have n-nyot pwepaw'd fow :3 us. -AUFIDIUS. O-O, doubt *looks away* nyot t-that! -I speak fwom cewtainties. N-Nyay mowe, -Some pawcews of theiw powew awe fowth awweady, -A-And *sweats* onwy hithewwawd. I weave *pokes you* youw honyouws. -If we *cries* and Caius M-Mawcius chance to meet, -'Tis swown between us we shaww evew uWu stwike -T-Tiww o-onye can do nyo mowe. -AWW. The gods assist you! -AUFIDIUS. And keep youw honyouws safe! -FIWST S-SENyATOW. Faweweww. -SECOND SENyATOW. *giggles shyly* Faweweww. -AWW. Faweweww. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-III. -Wome. MAWCIUS' house - -Entew VOWUMNyIA a-and *sweats* VIWGIWIA, m-mothew and wife to *teleports behind you* MAWCIUS; -they set them down on two wow stoows and sew - -VOWUMNyIA. I pway *twerks* you, daughtew, *giggles shyly* sing, o-ow expwess *blushes* youwsewf >_> in a mowe -comfowtabwe sowt. If my son wewe *looks away* my husband, I shouwd f-fweewiew -wejoice ^w^ in that absence whewein he won honyouw than *sweats* in the -embwacements of his bed whewe h-he wouwd show most wove. When yet -he >w< was but tendew-bodied, and the onwy son o-of my womb; >_> when youth -with comewinyess pwuck'd aww gaze his way; when, fow a day of -k-kings' entweaties, a mothew shouwd :3 nyot seww him an houw fwom hew -behowding; xDD I, x3 considewing h-how ;;w;; honyouw w-wouwd become *moans* such a pewson- -t-that it was nyo bettew ;;w;; than pictuwe-wike to h-hang by th' waww, x3 if -wenyown made *blushes* it nyot stiw- was *teleports behind you* pweas'd to wet him seek dangew whewe -he uWu was *sweats* to find fame. T-To a-a cwuew w-waw I-I sent him, f-fwom whence he -wetuwn'd his bwows bound with o-oak. I-I teww thee, daughtew, *sweats* I -spwang nyot mowe in joy at fiwst heawing *giggles shyly* he was a man-chiwd than -nyow in >w< fiwst *sighs* seeing *cries* he uWu had pwoved himsewf a man. -uWu VIWGIWIA. But uWu had he died in the businyess, madam, how then? -V-VOWUMNyIA. *hugs tightly* Then his *looks away* good wepowt shouwd have b-been my ^w^ son; I thewein -*screams* wouwd *screams* have found issue. Heaw m-me pwofess sincewewy: had I a dozen -s-sons, :33 each in my wove awike, and nyonye wess d-deaw than thinye and my -good Mawcius, I had wathew h-had e-eweven die ^.^ nyobwy ^w^ fow t-theiw *giggles shyly* countwy -than onye vowuptuouswy xDD suwfeit *leans over* out of action. - -xDD Entew a-a GENTWEWOMAN - -GENTWEWOMAN. Madam, *cries* the W-Wady Vawewia i-is *sweats* come to visit y-you. -VIWGIWIA. Beseech you *cuddles you* give m-me weave x3 to wetiwe mysewf. -VOWUMNyIA. *hugs tightly* Indeed you shaww nyot. -Methinks I heaw hithew youw husband's dwum; -See ^.^ him pwuck *leans over* Aufidius down by t-th' haiw; -As chiwdwen fwom a beaw, the Vowsces s-shunnying him. -Methinks I see h-him stamp thus, and caww thus: -'Come *giggles shyly* on, you cowawds! You w-wewe got in feaw, -Though you wewe bown in *shuffles closer* Wome.' His bwoody bwow -*giggles shyly* With his maiw'd hand then *teleports behind you* wiping, fowth he goes, -Wike to a hawvest-man that's task'd to mow -Ow aww ow wose his hiwe. -V-VIWGIWIA. His b-bwoody bwow? O Jupitew, nyo bwood! -VOWUMNyIA. Away, you foow! It mowe becomes a ^-^ man -Than giwt >_< his t-twophy. The bweasts of Hecuba, -When she did suckwe Hectow, wook'd nyot wovewiew -Than Hectow's fowehead w-when i-it spit f-fowth bwood -At Gwecian swowd, contemnying. uWu Teww Vawewia -We awe fit xDD to bid hew *screams* wewcome. Exit OwO GENTWEWOMAN -VIWGIWIA. Heavens bwess my wowd fwom feww A-Aufidius! -V-VOWUMNyIA. He'ww *looks at you* beat Aufidius' head bewow his knyee -And t-twead upon his nyeck. - -We-entew GENTWEWOMAN, *moans* With VAWEWIA and an ushew - -:33 VAWEWIA. My wadies both, good day to you. -VOWUMNyIA. Sweet madam! -VIWGIWIA. I am g-gwad t-to see youw wadyship. -VAWEWIA. How do you both? You awe manyifest housekeepews. What *looks at you* awe -you sewing hewe? A finye spot, in g-good faith. How does youw w-wittwe -*shuffles closer* son? -VIWGIWIA. OwO I thank y-youw wadyship; weww, *looks at you* good m-madam. -V-VOWUMNyIA. >_> He had wathew see the uWu swowds *shuffles closer* and heaw a dwum than wook -upon his schoowmastew. -VAWEWIA. O' m-my wowd, *hugs tightly* the >_> fathew's son! I-I'ww sweaw '-'tis a vewy -pwetty boy. O' my twoth, I-I w-wook'd *cuddles you* upon *moans* him a Wednyesday *hugs tightly* hawf an -houw togethew; has s-such a confiwm'd uWu countenyance! I saw him wun -aftew a giwded buttewfwy; a-and when *pokes you* he caught it he xDD wet it go -again, and aftew it *twerks* again, a-and ovew and ovew *teleports behind you* he comes, and up -again, catch'd it again; ow whethew *notices bulge* his *pokes you* faww enwag'd h-him, ow h-how -'twas, he did so set *giggles shyly* his :3 teeth *notices bulge* and teaw it. O, I wawwant, h-how he -mammock'd it! -VOWUMNyIA. Onye on's f-fathew's moods. -VAWEWIA. Indeed, wa, 'tis a-a nyobwe chiwd. -VIWGIWIA. A cwack, *sweats* madam. -V-VAWEWIA. Come, way aside youw stitchewy; ^w^ I must have :3 you pway the -idwe huswife with *giggles shyly* me t-this aftewnyoon. -VIWGIWIA. Nyo, good madam; I wiww xDD nyot out o-of ;;w;; doows. -VAWEWIA. Nyot out o-of doows! -VOWUMNyIA. She s-shaww, she shaww. -VIWGIWIA. *moans* Indeed, >w< nyo, by youw patience; *hugs tightly* I'ww nyot ovew OwO the t-thweshowd -tiww my wowd :3 wetuwn fwom the waws. -V-VAWEWIA. Fie, you confinye youwsewf m-most >_< unweasonyabwy; *giggles shyly* come, you -must go *looks at you* visit the good wady that wies in. -x3 VIWGIWIA. I wiww wish hew speedy stwength, and visit hew with my -pwayews; but I cannyot go >w< thithew. -VOWUMNyIA. Why, I p-pway you? -VIWGIWIA. 'Tis *blushes* nyot to save wabouw, nyow t-that I x3 want wove. -VAWEWIA. You wouwd be anyothew Penyewope; yet they s-say aww the yawn -she spun *sighs* in Uwysses' absence did but fiww ;;w;; Ithaca fuww of moths. -Come, I ;;w;; wouwd *shuffles closer* youw cambwic wewe *pokes you* sensibwe as youw fingew, that y-you -might weave UwU pwicking it fow pity. Come, you shaww go with u-us. -VIWGIWIA. Nyo, good madam, pawdon me; indeed *sighs* I wiww nyot fowth. -VAWEWIA. In twuth, wa, go with me; a-and I'ww teww you excewwent nyews -of youw husband. -VIWGIWIA. O, good madam, thewe can be nyonye yet. -VAWEWIA. Vewiwy, >w< I *giggles shyly* do nyot jest with you; thewe c-came nyews fwom h-him -wast nyight. ->_< VIWGIWIA. Indeed, madam? -VAWEWIA. I-In eawnyest, it's twue; I heawd a ^-^ senyatow speak it. Thus it -is: the Vowsces have an awmy fowth; against whom Cominyius the -genyewaw is gonye, with onye pawt of ouw Woman powew. Youw *twerks* wowd and -Titus *notices bulge* Wawtius awe set down befowe theiw *moans* city C-Cowiowi; they -nyothing doubt pwevaiwing and to make it bwief waws. This i-is twue, -on minye honyouw; and so, I *teleports behind you* pway, go with *notices bulge* us. -VIWGIWIA. Give me excuse, g-good madam; *giggles shyly* I w-wiww obey you i-in evewything -heweaftew. -VOWUMNyIA. *cuddles you* Wet hew awonye, wady; a-as she is nyow, UwU she ^.^ wiww but d-disease -xDD ouw bettew xDD miwth. -VAWEWIA. In twoth, I think she wouwd. Fawe you weww, then. Come, -good sweet wady. P-Pwithee, Viwgiwia, tuwn thy sowemnyess out o' -*sweats* doow and go *leans over* awong with us. -VIWGIWIA. Nyo, at a wowd, madam; indeed I-I must nyot. I wish you much -miwth. -VAWEWIA. *cries* Weww then, *screams* faweweww. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE IV. -Befowe Cowiowi - -Entew MAWCIUS, TITUS WAWTIUS, w-with dwum and cowouws, -with CAPTAINS and s-sowdiews. To them a-a x3 MESSENGEW - -MAWCIUS. Yondew comes *notices bulge* nyews; a wagew- they have met. -WAWTIUS. *looks away* My howse to youws- nyo. -MAWCIUS. *looks away* 'Tis donye. -*leans over* WAWTIUS. UwU Agweed. -M-MAWCIUS. Say, has ouw genyewaw met the enyemy? -MESSENGEW. They w-wie *looks at you* in view, but h-have nyot x3 spoke as yet. -WAWTIUS. So, the good howse is minye. -MAWCIUS. I'ww buy him *shuffles closer* of you. ->_< WAWTIUS. Nyo, I'ww nyow seww nyow give him; wend you him I wiww -Fow hawf a hundwed yeaws. Summon the town. -MAWCIUS. How faw off wie these awmies? -MESSENGEW. Within this miwe and hawf. -MAWCIUS. Then shaww w-we xDD heaw theiw 'wawum, a-and t-they o-ouws. -^w^ Nyow, Maws, I pwithee, make u-us quick in x3 wowk, -*moans* That w-we with smoking s-swowds may mawch *moans* fwom hence -To hewp ouw fiewded fwiends! Come, *cuddles you* bwow OwO thy bwast. - -They sound a-a pawwey. Entew two *moans* SENyATOWS with o-othews, -on the wawws of Cowiowi - -Tuwwus A-Aufidius, is he within youw wawws? -FIWST SENyATOW. Nyo, nyow a-a man *teleports behind you* that ^w^ feaws uWu you wess than h-he: -T-That's wessew than a wittwe. [Dwum afaw off] ;;w;; Hawk, *leans over* ouw dwums -Awe bwinging xDD fowth ouw youth. We'ww bweak ouw wawws -Wathew than they shaww pound us up; >w< ouw gates, -Which uWu yet seem shut, we have but pinn'd w-with wushes; -They'ww open *looks at you* of themsewves. [Awawum faw off] Hawk you f-faw off! -Thewe *moans* is Aufidius. W-Wist what wowk *twerks* he makes -Amongst youw cwoven awmy. -*twerks* MAWCIUS. O-O, they ^w^ awe at it! -WAWTIUS. Theiw >_> nyoise be ouw >_< instwuction. Waddews, ho! - ->_> Entew the UwU awmy of *moans* the Vowsces - -MAWCIUS. They feaw *pokes you* us nyot, *moans* but i-issue fowth theiw *blushes* city. -Nyow put youw shiewds befowe >w< youw heawts, ^.^ and fight -With heawts mowe pwoof than s-shiewds. Advance, bwave Titus. -T-They do disdain us much *cries* beyond *cuddles you* ouw thoughts, -^w^ Which makes me s-sweat with ;;w;; wwath. Come on, m-my fewwows. -^-^ He that wetiwes, I'ww x3 take him fow a Vowsce, -And h-he shaww feew minye edge. - -A-Awawum. The Womans a-awe beat back to theiw twenches. -We-entew MAWCIUS, ;;w;; cuwsing - -MAWCIUS. Aww *cuddles you* the c-contagion of the south w-wight on you, -Y-You >w< shames *shuffles closer* of >w< Wome! you hewd of- Boiws and pwagues -*notices bulge* Pwastew *leans over* you o'ew, that x3 you may *notices bulge* be abhoww'd -F-Fawthew than seen, a-and onye infect a-anyothew -Against t-the >_< wind a miwe! You souws of geese -That beaw the shapes of men, how have you ^-^ wun -*teleports behind you* Fwom s-swaves that apes wouwd beat! :33 Pwuto *cuddles you* and h-heww! -:3 Aww huwt behind! Backs wed, and faces pawe -*notices bulge* With OwO fwight and agued feaw! Mend and chawge home, -O-Ow, by t-the fiwes ;;w;; of h-heaven, I'ww w-weave the foe ->_< And make my waws on you. Wook to't. Come on; -If you'ww stand fast we'ww beat uWu them to *screams* theiw wives, -*shuffles closer* As *giggles shyly* they us to ouw twenches. Fowwow me. - -Anyothew awawum. OwO The Vowsces fwy, a-and M-MAWCIUS fowwows -them ^-^ to the gates - -So, nyow the gates a-awe ope; nyow pwove g-good seconds; -'Tis fow the fowwowews fowtunye widens UwU them, -Nyot fow the *cries* fwiews. Mawk me, a-and do t-the wike. - -[MAWCIUS *giggles shyly* entews the gates] - -FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Foow-hawdinyess; nyot I. -*looks at you* SECOND SOWDIEW. Nyot *pokes you* I. ^w^ [MAWCIUS is shut in] -FIWST SOWDIEW. See, they have shut h-him in. -AWW. To th' pot, I wawwant h-him. [Awawum continyues] - -W-We-entew TITUS WAWTIUS - -WAWTIUS. What is become *moans* of Mawcius? -AWW. Swain, siw, d-doubtwess. -FIWST SOWDIEW. *leans over* Fowwowing the f-fwiews at the vewy h-heews, -With them he entews; who, u-upon ^-^ the sudden, -Cwapp'd to theiw gates. He is himsewf awonye, -To answew aww the city. -WAWTIUS. O *screams* nyobwe fewwow! -Who sensibwy outdawes his sensewess swowd, -And when xDD it bows *pokes you* stand'st up. Thou awt w-weft, Mawcius; -A cawbuncwe entiwe, as big ;;w;; as thou awt, -Wewe nyot so wich a jewew. T-Thou wast a sowdiew -Even to C-Cato's wish, nyot fiewce *screams* and *notices bulge* tewwibwe -Onwy *giggles shyly* in stwokes; but with thy gwim wooks and -The *giggles shyly* thundew-wike pewcussion of thy sounds -T-Thou mad'st thinye enyemies shake, as if *cries* the wowwd -Wewe f-fevewous and did twembwe. - -We-entew MAWCIUS, b-bweeding, a-assauwted by the e-enyemy - -FIWST *notices bulge* SOWDIEW. Wook, siw. -WAWTIUS. O, '-'tis Mawcius! -Wet's fetch him off, ow *twerks* make wemain awike. -[They fight, x3 and aww :33 entew the *hugs tightly* city] - - - - -SCENyE V. -W-Within ^w^ Cowiowi. A stweet - -Entew cewtain Womans, with spoiws - -FIWST WOMAN. This wiww I *leans over* cawwy *looks at you* to Wome. -SECOND WOMAN. And I *teleports behind you* this. -THIWD *shuffles closer* WOMAN. A muwwain o-on >_< 't! I took this fow siwvew. -[Awawum continyues stiww a-afaw off] - -Entew MAWCIUS and *hugs tightly* TITUS WAWTIUS With a twumpetew - -MAWCIUS. See hewe these *notices bulge* movews t-that d-do p-pwize theiw houws -*shuffles closer* At a cwack'd d-dwachma! Cushions, weaden s-spoons, -Iwons of *cuddles you* a doit, d-doubwets that hangmen wouwd -Buwy with those that wowe *sweats* them, these b-base ^w^ swaves, -*looks at you* Ewe yet the f-fight *giggles shyly* be d-donye, pack up. Down w-with them! -Exeunt piwwagews -And hawk, what nyoise the genyewaw makes! To him! -Thewe *moans* is *screams* the man of >_> my s-souw's *cries* hate, Aufidius, -Piewcing ouw Womans; *pokes you* then, *sighs* vawiant Titus, ^w^ take -Convenyient nyumbews to make OwO good ;;w;; the city; -Whiwst I, with those t-that have the >_< spiwit, wiww haste -To hewp Cominyius. -WAWTIUS. Wowthy siw, t-thou bweed'st; -Thy exewcise h-hath *cries* been too viowent -Fow a second couwse of xDD fight. -MAWCIUS. *cries* Siw, pwaise m-me nyot; -My wowk h-hath *twerks* yet nyot wawm'd me. Fawe you weww; -T-The b-bwood I dwop i-is wathew physicaw -Than *cries* dangewous to >_< me. To Aufidius thus -I wiww appeaw, and fight. -W-WAWTIUS. Nyow the faiw *giggles shyly* goddess, Fowtunye, -Faww deep in wove with thee, a-and *leans over* hew gweat chawms -Misguide thy o-opposews' swowds! Bowd gentweman, -Pwospewity b-be thy page! -MAWCIUS. Thy fwiend nyo wess -Than those she pwaceth h-highest! So faweweww. -WAWTIUS. Thou x3 wowthiest :33 Mawcius! Exit MAWCIUS -*looks away* Go sound *shuffles closer* thy twumpet UwU in the m-mawket-pwace; -Caww thithew a-aww *leans over* the officews o' th' town, -W-Whewe they shaww k-knyow ouw mind. Away! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V-VI. -Nyeaw t-the camp of COMINyIUS - -Entew COMINyIUS, as it wewe *moans* in wetiwe, with sowdiews - -COMINyIUS. Bweathe you, my fwiends. Weww fought; *twerks* we awe come off -W-Wike Womans, nyeithew *screams* foowish i-in ouw stands -Nyow cowawdwy in wetiwe. :3 Bewieve me, siws, ->_> We shaww be chawg'd again. W-Whiwes we have ^.^ stwuck, -By i-intewims and conveying gusts we have heawd -*looks away* The chawges of ^.^ ouw fwiends. The Woman gods, -Wead theiw :33 successes as we w-wish ouw own, -That both o-ouw powews, with smiwing f-fwonts >w< encount'wing, -May give you thankfuw *shuffles closer* sacwifice! - -Entew A MESSENGEW - -Thy nyews? -MESSENGEW. The c-citizens of Cowiowi have *leans over* issued -And g-given to Wawtius and to Mawcius battwe; -I x3 saw o-ouw pawty to t-theiw twenches dwiven, -uWu And then I came away. -^-^ COMINyIUS. T-Though ;;w;; thou *cries* speak'st ^-^ twuth, -M-Methinks *blushes* thou speak'st nyot weww. How wong is't since? -*looks away* MESSENGEW. Above an houw, my wowd. -COMINyIUS. 'Tis *blushes* nyot a m-miwe; bwiefwy *moans* we heawd theiw dwums. -How couwdst t-thou :3 in a miwe confound an houw, -And bwing thy nyews so wate? -*looks away* MESSENGEW. Spies of the Vowsces -Hewd ^.^ me :3 in chase, that I was fowc'd to wheew -*screams* Thwee *blushes* ow fouw miwes a-about; ewse had I, OwO siw, -Hawf an houw since bwought my wepowt. - -*shuffles closer* Entew MAWCIUS - -COMINyIUS. *sighs* Who's yondew -That does appeaw as he wewe fway'd? O gods! -UwU He *pokes you* has the stamp of Mawcius, and *leans over* I have -Befowe-time seen him thus. -MAWCIUS. Come I too wate? -COMINyIUS. The shephewd knyows nyot thundew fwom a tabow -*looks at you* Mowe t-than I knyow the sound of Mawcius' tongue -Fwom evewy meanyew man. -MAWCIUS. Come I too w-wate? -COMINyIUS. Ay, *hugs tightly* if you come nyot in the bwood of othews, -But mantwed in *screams* youw own. -MAWCIUS. uWu O! wet me cwip ye -*pokes you* In awms a-as sound a-as *moans* when x3 I w-woo'd, >_> in heawt -As mewwy as when ouw nyuptiaw d-day was donye, -And tapews buwn'd t-to bedwawd. -C-COMINyIUS. *leans over* Fwowew of wawwiows, -How is't with Titus W-Wawtius? -MAWCIUS. As *looks at you* with a ;;w;; man busied about decwees: -Condemnying some to death and some to ^w^ exiwe; -Wansoming him ow pitying, thweat'nying th' othew; -Howding Cowiowi in the n-nyame of Wome -Even wike a-a UwU fawnying gweyhound in the weash, -To wet him swip *moans* at wiww. -COMINyIUS. Whewe is that swave -Which towd me they had beat you *twerks* to youw twenches? -Whewe i-is he? Caww him hithew. -MAWCIUS. Wet him awonye; -He did infowm the twuth. B-But *looks at you* fow ouw gentwemen, -The common fiwe- a p-pwague! twibunyes fow t-them! -T-The m-mouse :33 nye'ew shunn'd *hugs tightly* the cat as they did budge -Fwom wascaws wowse than they. -*pokes you* COMINyIUS. But how pwevaiw'd you? -MAWCIUS. Wiww the t-time sewve *pokes you* to t-teww? I do nyot think. -Whewe i-is the enyemy? Awe you *screams* wowds o' th' fiewd? -If OwO nyot, *cries* why cease you tiww *shuffles closer* you awe s-so? -COMINyIUS. Mawcius, -W-We *pokes you* have uWu at disadvantage fought, and did ->_< Wetiwe to win ouw puwpose. -*hugs tightly* MAWCIUS. *leans over* How wies theiw *giggles shyly* battwe? Knyow you o-on w-which side -They have pwac'd t-theiw *sighs* men of twust? -COMINyIUS. As *teleports behind you* I *blushes* guess, Mawcius, -Theiw bands i' *giggles shyly* th' vawawd awe *screams* the Antiates, -Of theiw best twust; o'ew them Aufidius, -Theiw vewy *looks at you* heawt of :3 hope. -MAWCIUS. I *twerks* do beseech y-you, -By *teleports behind you* aww t-the battwes whewein we *blushes* have *hugs tightly* fought, -By th' bwood w-we have shed t-togethew, by th' vows -We have made *cuddles you* to enduwe *sweats* fwiends, that *moans* you diwectwy -Set me against Aufidius and his Antiates; -And that you *blushes* nyot uWu deway the *cuddles you* pwesent, *looks at you* but, -Fiwwing the aiw with *looks away* swowds advanc'd a-and dawts, -We p-pwove *hugs tightly* this vewy houw. -COMINyIUS. *sweats* Though I couwd wish -You wewe conducted to a gentwe bath -And bawms appwied to you, yet dawe I nyevew -Deny youw asking: t-take youw choice of those -That best can aid youw action. -MAWCIUS. Those awe *moans* they -T-That m-most awe wiwwing. If any such be hewe- -As it wewe s-sin t-to doubt- that wove t-this painting -*cries* Whewein you see me smeaw'd; if any feaw -*shuffles closer* Wessew his pewson than a-an iww wepowt; -If any think b-bwave death outweighs bad wife -And that his countwy's deawew than himsewf; -Wet him *moans* awonye, ow so many so minded, -Wave thus to expwess his disposition, -A-And fowwow *blushes* Mawcius. [-[They aww shout and wave x3 theiw -swowds, take him up in theiw a-awms and *looks away* cast *sighs* up theiw caps] -O, me awonye! M-Make you *twerks* a swowd of me? -If t-these shows be *sweats* nyot outwawd, which of you -But is :3 fouw Vowsces? Nyonye of you but is -A-Abwe to *teleports behind you* beaw a-against the g-gweat Aufidius -*hugs tightly* A shiewd as hawd as his. A c-cewtain nyumbew, -Though thanks *looks away* to aww, must I-I sewect fwom *looks at you* aww; the west -Shaww beaw the businyess in some othew fight, -As cause wiww be obey'd. *giggles shyly* Pwease you to mawch; -*sweats* And xDD fouw shaww quickwy dwaw out my command, -*pokes you* Which men awe best incwin'd. -COMINyIUS. Mawch o-on, my fewwows; -Make *shuffles closer* good this ostentation, and you shaww -OwO Divide in aww with us. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VII. -The gates of Cowiowi - -OwO TITUS WAWTIUS, having set *sweats* a guawd upon Cowiowi, going with *hugs tightly* dwum and t-twumpet -towawd C-COMINyIUS a-and CAIUS M-MAWCIUS, entews with a *blushes* WIEUTENyANT, othew sowdiews, -and UwU a s-scout - -WAWTIUS. So, wet the powts be guawded; keep youw duties -As I have *looks away* set them down. If I do send, dispatch -Those centuwies to *teleports behind you* ouw aid; the west wiww sewve -Fow a >w< showt howding. If we wose t-the fiewd -We cannyot keep the town. -W-WIEUTENyANT. Feaw nyot ouw cawe, siw. -WAWTIUS. H-Hence, and shut youw gates upon's. -O-Ouw guidew, c-come; to *giggles shyly* th' Woman c-camp conduct u-us. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE xDD VIII. -A f-fiewd of battwe between the Woman and the Vowscian c-camps - -Awawum, a-as in battwe. Entew MAWCIUS and AUFIDIUS at sevewaw doows - -MAWCIUS. I'ww fight with nyonye but :33 thee, fow I do hate thee -Wowse than a pwomise-bweakew. -AUFIDIUS. W-We hate ^-^ awike: -Nyot OwO Afwic *twerks* owns a *cries* sewpent I abhow -Mowe than thy UwU fame and envy. Fix thy >w< foot. -MAWCIUS. Wet the fiwst budgew die the othew's swave, -And the gods *pokes you* doom him aftew! -AUFIDIUS. I-If I fwy, Mawcius, -uWu Hawwoa me w-wike a hawe. -M-MAWCIUS. Within *screams* these uWu thwee houws, Tuwwus, -Awonye I fought i-in *cuddles you* youw Cowiowi wawws, -A-And made what wowk I pweas'd. uWu 'Tis nyot *shuffles closer* my bwood -Whewein *cries* thou seest me mask'd. *pokes you* Fow thy wevenge -Wwench up thy powew to th' highest. -AUFIDIUS. Wewt *sighs* thou the Hectow -That was ^-^ the w-whip of youw b-bwagg'd pwogeny, -Thou shouwdst nyot scape me hewe. - -;;w;; Hewe they fight, and cewtain Vowsces *hugs tightly* come *sweats* in the aid -of AUFIDIUS. MAWCIUS fights tiww they b-be dwiven in -bweathwess - -Officious, and nyot vawiant, you h-have sham'd me -In y-youw condemnyed seconds. UwU Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IX. -The Woman camp - -Fwouwish. Awawum. A wetweat is sounded. Entew, at x3 onye doow, -uWu COMINyIUS *shuffles closer* with the Womans; at anyothew doow, MAWCIUS, with his awm i-in a *sweats* scawf - -uWu COMINyIUS. If I shouwd *cuddles you* teww thee *giggles shyly* o'ew this thy day's wowk, -Thou't nyot bewieve *cuddles you* thy deeds; but I'ww wepowt it -Whewe senyatows shaww mingwe ;;w;; teaws with smiwes; ->_> Whewe gweat patwicians :33 shaww OwO attend, and shwug, -I' th' end admiwe; w-whewe wadies shaww b-be fwighted -And, gwadwy quak'd, heaw mowe; whewe the duww twibunyes, -That with t-the f-fusty pwebeians hate thinye :33 honyouws, -Shaww say *cuddles you* against theiw heawts 'We thank *shuffles closer* the gods -Ouw OwO Wome hath such a sowdiew.' -Yet c-cam'st thou to a mowsew of this >w< feast, -Having *pokes you* fuwwy din'd befowe. - -Entew TITUS WAWTIUS, with his powew, f-fwom the puwsuit - -WAWTIUS. O Genyewaw, -Hewe is the steed, we :33 the capawison. -H-Hadst thou *looks at you* behewd- -MAWCIUS. P-Pway *notices bulge* nyow, nyo mowe; m-my mothew, -Who has a chawtew to *sighs* extow hew bwood, -When she does pwaise m-me gwieves me. x3 I have donye -As you have donye- that's what I can; i-induc'd -As you have been- that's fow my countwy. -He that has *leans over* but effected his good wiww -Hath ovewta'en m-minye a-act. -COMINyIUS. You shaww n-nyot be -The *blushes* gwave of youw x3 desewving; Wome m-must knyow -The vawue of hew o-own. 'Twewe a-a conceawment -Wowse t-than a theft, n-nyo wess than a twaducement, -*moans* To hide >_> youw doings a-and to siwence that -*sweats* Which, *looks at you* to the UwU spiwe and x3 top of pwaises vouch'd, -Wouwd UwU seem but modest. Thewefowe, I beseech you, -In sign of what you awe, nyot to wewawd -*sighs* What y-you have donye, b-befowe o-ouw awmy *giggles shyly* heaw me. -MAWCIUS. *looks away* I ^.^ have *blushes* some w-wounds OwO upon *cries* me, *notices bulge* and *screams* they >_> smawt -To heaw themsewves wememb'wed. -COMINyIUS. Shouwd they nyot, -Weww m-might *twerks* they festew 'gainst ingwatitude -And *sighs* tent t-themsewves w-with d-death. Of aww the howses- -Wheweof we have ta'en good, >_> and good stowe- of *cries* aww -The tweasuwe in this x3 fiewd achiev'd and city, -We x3 wendew you *cuddles you* the tenth; t-to be ta'en f-fowth -Befowe the common distwibution at -Youw onwy choice. -MAWCIUS. I thank you, Genyewaw, -But cannyot make my heawt consent to take -UwU A bwibe to pay m-my swowd. *cuddles you* I do wefuse it, -And stand upon my *pokes you* common ^-^ pawt with those -That have behewd the doing. - -A *shuffles closer* wong fwouwish. They *twerks* aww cwy '-'Mawcius, Mawcius!' -cast up theiw caps a-and wances. COMINyIUS and WAWTIUS UwU stand bawe - -*cries* May these same *teleports behind you* instwuments which you *hugs tightly* pwofanye -Nyevew sound mowe! When dwums and twumpets shaww -I' th' fiewd p-pwove fwattewews, wet couwts *looks at you* and *hugs tightly* cities *cries* be -Made *sighs* aww of fawse-fac'd *cuddles you* soothing. When steew gwows -Soft as the pawasite's siwk, wet him *sighs* be made -An o-ovewtuwe fow th' waws. Nyo mowe, I say. -Fow that *cuddles you* I have nyot wash'd my n-nyose that bwed, -Ow foiw'd some debiwe w-wwetch, *moans* which without nyote -Hewe's many ewse have donye, you shout m-me f-fowth -I-In accwamations hypewbowicaw, -As i-if *shuffles closer* I xDD wov'd my wittwe shouwd be :33 dieted -In pwaises sauc'd *twerks* with wies. -C-COMINyIUS. Too modest a-awe you; -Mowe cwuew to youw good wepowt than gwatefuw -*teleports behind you* To us that give *cuddles you* you twuwy. By youw patience, -If 'gainst *pokes you* youwsewf you *leans over* be i-incens'd, we'ww p-put you- -Wike *looks away* onye that means *moans* his p-pwopew hawm- in *giggles shyly* manyacwes, -Then *giggles shyly* weason s-safewy with *hugs tightly* you. uWu Thewefowe be it knyown, -As *looks at you* to us, to aww the wowwd, that Caius Mawcius -Weaws t-this waw's gawwand; in t-token o-of the which, -My nyobwe x3 steed, *hugs tightly* knyown to *leans over* the *notices bulge* camp, I-I give *looks at you* him, -^w^ With aww his twim bewonging; and ^.^ fwom this time, -Fow *teleports behind you* what he d-did befowe *notices bulge* Cowiowi, can him -With aww th' *shuffles closer* appwause-and cwamouw of the host, -C-Caius Mawcius *cries* Cowiowanyus. -uWu Beaw th' addition *twerks* nyobwy evew! -*shuffles closer* [Fwouwish. T-Twumpets sound, and *twerks* dwums] -AWW. C-Caius Mawcius Cowiowanyus! -COWIOWANyUS. I wiww go *hugs tightly* wash; -And when :33 my face ^w^ is faiw you shaww ^-^ pewceive -Whethew *teleports behind you* I bwush ow nyo. *notices bulge* Howbeit, I thank you; -*sweats* I m-mean to stwide youw steed, and at aww t-times -To undewcwest youw good addition -To t-th' faiwnyess of my powew. -C-COMINyIUS. So, to ouw tent; -Whewe, ewe we do wepose us, we w-wiww wwite -To W-Wome of ouw success. You, Titus *notices bulge* Wawtius, -Must to Cowiowi back. Send *looks away* us to *moans* Wome -The b-best, with whom we may awticuwate -Fow theiw own good and ouws. -WAWTIUS. I-I shaww, ;;w;; my wowd. -COWIOWANyUS. The *leans over* gods begin to m-mock me. I, *moans* that *teleports behind you* nyow -Wefus'd most *cuddles you* pwincewy g-gifts, *leans over* am b-bound to beg -Of my Wowd Genyewaw. -COMINyIUS. Take't- 'tis youws; w-what is't? -COWIOWANyUS. I sometime way hewe in Cowiowi -At a p-poow man's house; he u-us'd m-me k-kindwy. -He cwied *looks at you* to m-me; I saw *giggles shyly* him pwisonyew; -But then *hugs tightly* Aufidius was w-within my v-view, -And wwath o'ewwhewm'd my ^-^ pity. I-I wequest you -To uWu give my p-poow host fweedom. -xDD COMINyIUS. O, weww begg'd! -Wewe he the butchew of my son, >w< he shouwd -Be *leans over* fwee as is *moans* the wind. Dewivew h-him, Titus. -WAWTIUS. Mawcius, his nyame? -COWIOWANyUS. By Jupitew, *screams* fowgot! -I-I am weawy; yea, my memowy i-is tiw'd. -Have uWu we nyo winye hewe? -COMINyIUS. Go we to ouw tent. -T-The bwood upon *teleports behind you* youw *looks at you* visage dwies; >w< 'tis *sighs* time -It s-shouwd be wook'd t-to. C-Come. *hugs tightly* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *looks at you* X. -The camp o-of t-the *pokes you* Vowsces - -A f-fwouwish. C-Cownyets. Entew TUWWUS AUFIDIUS bwoody, with two *looks away* ow ;;w;; thwee sowdiews - -UwU AUFIDIUS. The *giggles shyly* town *twerks* is ta'en. -FIWST SOWDIEW. 'Twiww be dewivew'd back on good c-condition. -*giggles shyly* AUFIDIUS. Condition! -I wouwd I wewe a Woman; fow I cannyot, -Being a Vowsce, be that *shuffles closer* I am. Condition? -What good condition can *leans over* a tweaty find -I-I' th' pawt :3 that is at *leans over* mewcy? Five times, Mawcius, -I *leans over* have fought *cries* with thee; so often hast thou beat me; -*giggles shyly* And wouwdst do so, I think, shouwd we encountew -As often as we *cuddles you* eat. OwO By th' e-ewements, -If e'ew again I meet him beawd to *screams* beawd, -He's minye ow I am his. Minye emuwation -Hath *looks at you* nyot that honyouw *cuddles you* in't it had; fow whewe -I thought to cwush him in a-an e-equaw fowce, -Twue swowd to s-swowd, I'ww potch at him some w-way, -;;w;; Ow wwath ^.^ ow ^w^ cwaft may get him. -FIWST SOWDIEW. ^-^ He's the deviw. -AUFIDIUS. Bowdew, :33 though nyot so *twerks* subtwe. My v-vawouw's *sighs* poison'd -*leans over* With onwy suff'wing stain by h-him; fow him -Shaww fwy out of itsewf. Nyow sweep nyow sanctuawy, -;;w;; Being nyaked, sick, nyow fanye nyow Capitow, -The *twerks* pwayews of pwiests nyow times :33 of sacwifice, -^.^ Embawquements aww of :3 fuwy, shaww wift up -Theiw wotten pwiviwege *giggles shyly* and custom 'gainst -My hate to Mawcius. Whewe *leans over* I find :33 him, wewe it -At h-home, *hugs tightly* upon my bwothew's guawd, e-even *moans* thewe, -Against the hospitabwe canyon, wouwd I -Wash my fiewce hand uWu in's heawt. Go you to th' *giggles shyly* city; -Weawn how 'tis hewd, and what they awe that must -Be h-hostages fow Wome. -F-FIWST SOWDIEW. Wiww nyot you go? -AUFIDIUS. I am attended at the >w< cypwess gwove; I p-pway you- -'Tis south the city miwws- bwing me wowd ^.^ thithew -^.^ How uWu the wowwd goes, *giggles shyly* that to the pace of it -I-I may spuw on my jouwnyey. -F-FIWST SOWDIEW. I shaww, siw. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE I. -*moans* Wome. *pokes you* A *sweats* pubwic pwace - -Entew MENyENyIUS, ;;w;; with the t-two Twibunyes of the peopwe, SICINyIUS and B-BWUTUS - -MENyENyIUS. The auguwew tewws *cuddles you* me w-we shaww have nyews tonyight. -BWUTUS. Good ow b-bad? -M-MENyENyIUS. Nyot accowding to >_> the pwayew of t-the ^w^ peopwe, fow they wove -n-nyot Mawcius. -SICINyIUS. Nyatuwe t-teaches beasts to knyow t-theiw fwiends. -MENyENyIUS. Pway y-you, who does the wowf wove? -SICINyIUS. The wamb. -M-MENyENyIUS. Ay, to devouw him, as the hungwy pwebeians wouwd t-the -nyobwe Mawcius. -*pokes you* BWUTUS. He's *leans over* a wamb >_< indeed, that *cuddles you* baes wike a b-beaw. -MENyENyIUS. He's a-a beaw i-indeed, that wives fike a wamb. You two awe -owd men; teww me onye thing that I s-shaww ask you. -BOTH TWIBUNyES. Weww, s-siw. -MENyENyIUS. I-In w-what enyowmity is Mawcius poow i-in ^.^ that you two *cuddles you* have nyot -in abundance? -BWUTUS. He's poow in nyo onye fauwt, but stow'd with aww. -SICINyIUS. *twerks* Especiawwy in p-pwide. -BWUTUS. And t-topping aww o-othews in >w< boasting. -*looks away* MENyENyIUS. This is *teleports behind you* stwange nyow. Do you two knyow how you awe censuwed -hewe in the city- I m-mean of us o' th' wight-hand fiwe? Do you? -BOTH TWIBUNyES. Why, how UwU awe we censuw'd? -MENyENyIUS. Because you tawk of *screams* pwide nyow- wiww you nyot be angwy? -BOTH T-TWIBUNyES. Weww, weww, siw, weww. -MENyENyIUS. Why, *teleports behind you* 'tis nyo gweat mattew; fow a-a vewy wittwe thief *leans over* of -occasion wiww w-wob you of a gweat d-deaw of patience. Give :33 youw -dispositions the weins, and be angwy at youw *twerks* pweasuwes- at t-the -w-weast, if you take it as a pweasuwe *cuddles you* to you in being so. You bwame -Mawcius fow being pwoud? -UwU BWUTUS. >w< We do it xDD nyot awonye, *moans* siw. -MENyENyIUS. I *hugs tightly* knyow you can d-do vewy w-wittwe awonye; fow youw hewps awe -many, ow ewse :33 youw *teleports behind you* actions wouwd gwow wondwous singwe: youw -*cries* abiwities awe *pokes you* too infant-wike *shuffles closer* fow doing *cries* much awonye. Y-You tawk of -pwide. O that you couwd tuwn youw *looks at you* eyes *looks at you* towawd the nyapes of youw -xDD nyecks, and make but an intewiow suwvey of youw *shuffles closer* good sewves! O -that y-you couwd! -BOTH TWIBUNyES. What t-then, siw? -M-MENyENyIUS. Why, then you shouwd discovew a bwace of unmewiting, -p-pwoud, viowent, testy magistwates-awias foows- as any in W-Wome. -SICINyIUS. Menyenyius, y-you awe *moans* knyown weww enyough too. -MENyENyIUS. I *giggles shyly* am x3 knyown to be a humowous patwician, and onye that woves -*blushes* a cup of hot winye w-with n-nyot a dwop of >w< awwaying uWu Tibew in't; said to -be something impewfect in *blushes* favouwing the fiwst compwaint, >_< hasty -and tindew-wike upon too twiviaw *moans* motion; onye that convewses *leans over* mowe -with *notices bulge* the b-buttock of the nyight than w-with the f-fowehead of the -mownying. What I think uWu I u-uttew, and spend my mawice *leans over* in my bweath. -x3 Meeting two such weawsmen as *twerks* you awe- I cannyot caww you -Wycuwguses- if *pokes you* the dwink you give *screams* me touch *cries* my pawate advewsewy, I -make a cwooked face at it. I cannyot say youw w-wowships have -dewivew'd the mattew weww, *looks away* when *screams* I find the ass in compound with -the majow p-pawt of youw s-sywwabwes; xDD and though x3 I must b-be content to -b-beaw with those that say y-you awe *pokes you* wevewend gwave men, yet *blushes* they wie -deadwy that ^-^ teww you you :3 have g-good faces. If you *shuffles closer* see this *cuddles you* in the -map of >w< my micwocosm, fowwows it that I am knyown weww enyough too? -*sighs* What hawm can youw bisson conspectuities gwean out of this -chawactew, OwO if *cries* I ^.^ be knyown UwU weww enyough too? -BWUTUS. Come, siw, come, *blushes* we knyow you weww enyough. -MENyENyIUS. You knyow nyeithew me, y-youwsewves, nyow any thing. You awe -ambitious f-fow *looks at you* poow k-knyaves' caps and w-wegs; you *moans* weaw o-out a ;;w;; good -OwO whowesome fowenyoon in heawing *twerks* a cause between an owange-wife and -:3 a >w< fosset-sewwew, and *screams* then wejouwn :33 the contwovewsy of thweepence -to a second *moans* day of audience. When you awe heawing a mattew -between p-pawty *looks at you* and p-pawty, if you chance *sweats* to be pinch'd with the -OwO cowic, you make faces wike mummews, s-set up the bwoody fwag -against aww patience, a-and, in ^w^ woawing fow >w< a c-chambew-pot, dismiss -the c-contwovewsy bweeding, the mowe entangwed by youw heawing. Aww -the peace you m-make i-in theiw :33 cause is cawwing both t-the pawties -k-knyaves. You awe a p-paiw OwO of stwange o-onyes. -BWUTUS. *giggles shyly* Come, come, you awe weww undewstood *notices bulge* to be a pewfectew gibew -^.^ fow the tabwe t-than a nyecessawy benchew in the Capitow. -MENyENyIUS. O-Ouw vewy pwiests must become mockews, *cuddles you* if they shaww -encountew such widicuwous *cuddles you* subjects as *looks away* you a-awe. W-When you speak -best unto the puwpose, it is nyot wowth the wagging of youw -beawds; and youw beawds desewve nyot so honyouwabwe a *cuddles you* gwave a-as to -stuff a botchew's cushion ow to be entomb'd in an ass's -pack-saddwe. Yet you must be saying M-Mawcius is pwoud; who, in a -cheap estimation, is >w< wowth aww youw pwedecessows since Deucawion; -t-though p-pewadventuwe some of the best o-of 'em wewe heweditawy -hangmen. God-den *sweats* to youw wowships. Mowe of youw convewsation -wouwd infect my bwain, *leans over* being *blushes* the uWu hewdsmen of the beastwy -^-^ pwebeians. I wiww be bowd to take my weave of you. -[BWUTUS a-and S-SICINyIUS go aside] - -E-Entew V-VOWUMNyIA, VIWGIWIA, and VAWEWIA - -How nyow, my as faiw as nyobwe wadies- and the moon, wewe she -eawthwy, nyo nyobwew- whithew do you fowwow >w< youw eyes so fast? -VOWUMNyIA. Honyouwabwe Menyenyius, *shuffles closer* my *hugs tightly* boy Mawcius appwoaches; fow the -wove of *moans* Junyo, x3 wet's go. -MENyENyIUS. Ha! Mawcius coming home? -VOWUMNyIA. Ay, wowthy Menyenyius, and with *looks away* most *moans* pwospewous -appwobation. -M-MENyENyIUS. Take my cap, >_< Jupitew, and I *hugs tightly* thank thee. Hoo! -Mawcius coming home! -VOWUMNyIA, V-VIWGIWIA. *teleports behind you* Nyay, ;;w;; 'tis twue. -VOWUMNyIA. ^.^ Wook, hewe's a w-wettew fwom h-him; the state hath anyothew, -*looks away* his wife anyothew; and *shuffles closer* I think thewe's onye at *leans over* home :3 fow you. -MENyENyIUS. I w-wiww make my vewy *cries* house w-weew to-nyight. A xDD wettew fow *hugs tightly* me? -VIWGIWIA. Y-Yes, cewtain, *sighs* thewe's a wettew fow you; I-I saw't. -^.^ MENyENyIUS. A w-wettew xDD fow me! It *hugs tightly* gives me an xDD estate o-of s-seven yeaws' -heawth; in which time I wiww make a wip *teleports behind you* at the physician. The -most soveweign pwescwiption in Gawen *blushes* is but empiwicutic and, t-to -t-this pwesewvative, of nyo *cries* bettew w-wepowt than a howse-dwench. Is *hugs tightly* he -nyot wounded? He w-was wont to c-come home wounded. -VIWGIWIA. O, nyo, x3 nyo, nyo. -VOWUMNyIA. O-O, he is wounded, I thank OwO the >w< gods fow't. -MENyENyIUS. So do I-I *looks away* too, if ^.^ it be nyot too m-much. B-Bwings a victowy in -his pocket? The wounds become him. -VOWUMNyIA. On's bwows, UwU Menyenyius, he comes the t-thiwd time home with -t-the o-oaken gawwand. -MENyENyIUS. Has he *notices bulge* discipwin'd A-Aufidius soundwy? -V-VOWUMNyIA. T-Titus Wawtius wwites they f-fought t-togethew, b-but *sighs* Aufidius -:33 got off. -MENyENyIUS. UwU And 'twas time fow him too, I'ww wawwant him that; an he -had stay'd by him, I wouwd nyot have been so f-fidius'd fow aww the -chests in Cowiowi and t-the gowd that's i-in them. I-Is the Senyate ->w< possess'd ;;w;; of this? -VOWUMNyIA. *moans* Good w-wadies, w-wet's go. Yes, yes, yes: the *twerks* Senyate has -wettews fwom the genyewaw, whewein he g-gives :3 my son the whowe nyame -of the waw; he :33 hath in t-this action outdonye his fowmew deeds -doubwy. -VAWEWIA. In twoth, thewe's ^-^ wondwous things spoke of him. -MENyENyIUS. Wondwous! Ay, *sighs* I wawwant y-you, and nyot without his twue -p-puwchasing. -VIWGIWIA. The gods gwant t-them twue! -VOWUMNyIA. Twue! pow, waw. -MENyENyIUS. Twue! I'ww be swown they awe twue. Whewe is he w-wounded? -[To the T-TWIBUNyES] God save youw good *twerks* wowships! Mawcius ^-^ is coming -home; he has mowe cause to be pwoud. Whewe i-is he wounded? -VOWUMNyIA. *leans over* I' th' shouwdew and i' th' ^.^ weft :3 awm; thewe wiww be w-wawge -cicatwices to show the peopwe when h-he shaww stand fow his pwace. -He weceived i-in the *notices bulge* wepuwse of Tawquin seven huwts i' th' body. -MENyENyIUS. ;;w;; Onye i-i' th' ^w^ nyeck and two i-i' th' thigh- thewe's nyinye that I-I -*notices bulge* knyow. -V-VOWUMNyIA. He had befowe this w-wast expedition twenty-five *notices bulge* wounds -upon him. -MENyENyIUS. Nyow it's twenty-seven; evewy gash was an enyemy's g-gwave. -[A shout *notices bulge* and fwouwish] Hawk! ;;w;; the twumpets. -VOWUMNyIA. ^-^ These ^w^ awe the u-ushews of M-Mawcius. Befowe h-him he cawwies -nyoise, and behind him he weaves t-teaws; -Death, that dawk spiwit, in's *cuddles you* nyewvy awm doth wie, -Which, being advanc'd, decwinyes, and then men die. - -A sennyet. T-Twumpets s-sound. Entew COMINyIUS the -G-GENyEWAW, a-and TITUS WAWTIUS; between them, -COWIOWANyUS, *shuffles closer* cwown'd w-with an oaken gawwand; with -CAPTAINS *sweats* and sowdiews and a-a HEWAWD - -HEWAWD. *leans over* Knyow, Wome, that aww awonye Mawcius did fight -W-Within Cowiowi gates, whewe he hath won, -With fame, a nyame to Caius Mawcius; these -In *looks away* honyouw fowwows Cowiowanyus. -Wewcome t-to Wome, wenyownyed *screams* Cowiowanyus! [Fwouwish] -AWW. W-Wewcome to Wome, wenyownyed Cowiowanyus! -COWIOWANyUS. Nyo mowe >_> of this, i-it does offend my heawt. -Pway nyow, n-nyo mowe. -COMINyIUS. Wook, siw, youw mothew! -COWIOWANyUS. O, -UwU You have, *leans over* I knyow, petition'd aww the gods -Fow my pwospewity! [Knyeews] -VOWUMNyIA. Nyay, m-my good sowdiew, up; -My gentwe Mawcius, *looks away* wowthy Caius, and -By d-deed-achieving honyouw nyewwy ^-^ nyam'd- -What is it? Cowiowanyus must I can t-thee? -But, OwO O, thy wife! -COWIOWANyUS. M-My gwacious siwence, haiw! -Wouwdst ^.^ thou have w-waugh'd h-had *blushes* I come coffin'd h-home, -That weep'st to see me twiumph? A-Ah, my deaw, -Such eyes >_< the widows in C-Cowiowi weaw, -*blushes* And mothews that wack s-sons. -MENyENyIUS. Nyow the gods cwown *sighs* thee! -COWIOWANyUS. And *sweats* wive you y-yet? [To *moans* VAWEWIA] O my sweet wady, -pawdon. -*leans over* VOWUMNyIA. I knyow nyot uWu whewe to tuwn. -O, wewcome home! And wewcome, Genyewaw. -And y'awe wewcome a-aww. -M-MENyENyIUS. A hundwed thousand wewcomes. I couwd weep -A-And *cries* I couwd waugh; I *looks at you* am wight a-and heavy. Wewcome! -A cuwse begin a-at vewy woot on's heawt -T-That is nyot gwad to see thee! You awe thwee -That Wome :33 shouwd dote on; yet, by the faith of men, -*looks away* We have some *hugs tightly* owd cwab twees hewe *hugs tightly* at home t-that wiww nyot -^.^ Be gwafted to y-youw wewish. Y-Yet *screams* wewcome, wawwiows. -We *blushes* caww a n-nyettwe *cries* but a nyettwe, and -:3 The fauwts of foows but fowwy. -C-COMINyIUS. >w< Evew wight. -COWIOWANyUS. Menyenyius e-evew, *looks away* evew. -H-HEWAWD. Give way thewe, and *giggles shyly* go on. -COWIOWANyUS. [To his wife and *screams* mothew] Youw hand, and youws. -Ewe i-in ^.^ ouw own house I *blushes* do shade my head, -T-The good patwicians must be visited; -*hugs tightly* Fwom whom I have w-weceiv'd nyot onwy gweetings, -;;w;; But w-with them change ^.^ of OwO honyouws. -VOWUMNyIA. I-I have *twerks* wived -*twerks* To see i-inhewited my *notices bulge* vewy wishes, -And the buiwdings of ^-^ my fancy; o-onwy -*notices bulge* Thewe's onye thing wanting, which I-I *notices bulge* doubt nyot but -O-Ouw Wome wiww c-cast upon thee. -COWIOWANyUS. Knyow, good mothew, -I *twerks* had wathew b-be theiw sewvant in my way -Than sway w-with them in theiws. -COMINyIUS. O-On, to the Capitow. -[Fwouwish. *moans* Cownyets. Exeunt in s-state, as ^-^ befowe] - -BWUTUS and SICINyIUS come fowwawd - -BWUTUS. Aww tongues *looks at you* speak of him and the bweawed sights -Awe spectacwed to see *hugs tightly* him. Youw pwattwing nyuwse -*giggles shyly* Into a waptuwe wets hew baby cwy -*leans over* Whiwe she chats him; the kitchen *looks at you* mawkin p-pins -H-Hew wichest wockwam 'bout hew weechy nyeck, -Cwamb'wing the wawws to eye him; stawws, buwks, windows, -*moans* Awe smothew'd up, weads fiww'd and widges *notices bulge* hows'd -With vawiabwe compwexions, aww agweeing ->w< In eawnyestnyess *sighs* to see him. Sewd-shown fwamens -Do pwess among *blushes* the popuwaw thwongs and puff -To win a vuwgaw station; ouw veiw'd dames -Commit t-the waw ;;w;; of white and damask in -Theiw n-nyicewy gawded xDD cheeks to t-th' wanton spoiw -Of >_< Phoebus' buwnying kisses. >_> Such a pothew, -As if that whatsoevew god who weads him -Wewe swiwy cwept *looks away* into his *shuffles closer* human powews, -And gave him gwacefuw postuwe. -*screams* SICINyIUS. On the sudden -I wawwant him consuw. -BWUTUS. Then ouw office may -D-Duwing his powew go *looks away* sweep. -S-SICINyIUS. He c-cannyot temp'watewy twanspowt ^.^ his honyouws -*sweats* Fwom whewe h-he shouwd begin *moans* and end, but *cries* wiww -Wose those he hath won. -B-BWUTUS. In that thewe's comfowt. -SICINyIUS. Doubt nyot -The commonyews, ^.^ fow whom x3 we stand, but they -Upon t-theiw ancient mawice w-wiww ^w^ fowget -With the weast c-cause these his nyew h-honyouws; w-which -That he wiww give *looks at you* them make I a-as wittwe q-question -As *leans over* he is pwoud to do't. -BWUTUS. I heawd UwU him :33 sweaw, -Wewe he to stand fow consuw, n-nyevew wouwd *pokes you* he -Appeaw i' th' mawket-pwace, nyow on h-him put -*leans over* The nyapwess vestuwe of h-humiwity; -N-Nyow, showing, as the mannyew is, his w-wounds -To t-th' :3 peopwe, xDD beg theiw s-stinking bweaths. -SICINyIUS. 'Tis wight. -BWUTUS. I-It was his wowd. O, he wouwd miss it wathew -Than cawwy it but by x3 the suit of the gentwy to him -And the *cries* desiwe o-of the nyobwes. -S-SICINyIUS. I wish OwO nyo bettew -Than *blushes* have him howd that puwpose, and to ^.^ put it -I-In execution. -BWUTUS. ^w^ 'Tis most w-wike he wiww. -SICINyIUS. It shaww be to him then as ouw good wiwws: -A suwe destwuction. -BWUTUS. So it must faww o-out -To h-him ow *leans over* ouw authowities. Fow an end, -We must suggest the p-peopwe in what hatwed -He uWu stiww h-hath hewd them; that to's powew he wouwd -Have made them :33 muwes, s-siwenc'd theiw pweadews, and -Dispwopewtied theiw fweedoms; howding them -In *twerks* human action and *giggles shyly* capacity -O-Of nyo mowe s-souw nyow fitnyess f-fow the wowwd -Than camews *screams* in theiw w-waw, who have *hugs tightly* theiw p-pwovand -Onwy fow beawing buwdens, *cuddles you* and sowe bwows -Fow sinking undew them. -SICINyIUS. This, uWu as >_> you *giggles shyly* say, ^w^ suggested -At *leans over* some *cries* time when his s-soawing insowence -Shaww touch t-the peopwe- which time shaww nyot want, -If he be put u-upon't, and that's a-as easy -As to *cries* set dogs *looks at you* on sheep- wiww *moans* be *pokes you* his fiwe -To kindwe theiw dwy s-stubbwe; a-and theiw bwaze -Shaww dawken him fow evew. - -Entew A MESSENGEW - -BWUTUS. What's the mattew? -MESSENGEW. Y-You awe sent fow to the Capitow. 'Tis thought -T-That Mawcius shaww be consuw. -I have seen the dumb men thwong to see *looks away* him *moans* and -The b-bwind to heaw *shuffles closer* him s-speak; *cuddles you* matwons fwung gwoves, -Wadies xDD and maids >_> theiw ^-^ scawfs and handkewchews, -Upon him as he *screams* pass'd; :33 the nyobwes bended -As to J-Jove's statue, and the commons made -A s-showew and t-thundew with theiw caps and shouts. -I nyevew ;;w;; saw the wike. -BWUTUS. *twerks* Wet's to the Capitow, -And cawwy :33 with us eaws :33 and *hugs tightly* eyes fow th' time, -But heawts fow the event. -*shuffles closer* SICINyIUS. Have with y-you. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -Wome. The Capitow - -Entew two OFFICEWS, to way cushions, as it wewe in the Capitow - -FIWST O-OFFICEW. Come, come, they awe awmost hewe. How ^.^ many stand >w< fow -c-consuwships? -SECOND OFFICEW. Thwee, they say; but 'tis thought of evewy onye -C-Cowiowanyus wiww *hugs tightly* cawwy it. -FIWST OFFICEW. That's a bwave f-fewwow; but he's vengeance pwoud and -woves nyot the common p-peopwe. -SECOND OFFICEW. Faith, thewe have been *screams* many gweat men that have -fwattew'd the peopwe, *looks away* who nye'ew woved them; *moans* and thewe be many -t-that t-they *cries* have woved, they knyow n-nyot whewefowe; s-so t-that, if t-they -w-wove they knyow *sighs* nyot w-why, *giggles shyly* they h-hate upon nyo b-bettew a-a gwound. -Thewefowe, xDD fow Cowiowanyus nyeithew to cawe whethew they *notices bulge* wove o-ow -hate h-him manyifests the twue knyowwedge he has in theiw -disposition, a-and out *leans over* of his nyobwe cawewessnyess wets them pwainwy -see't. -FIWST OFFICEW. If he did nyot cawe *teleports behind you* whethew *cuddles you* he had ^w^ theiw wove ow nyo, -he waved indiffewentwy 'twixt doing them nyeithew good nyow hawm; -but he seeks theiw h-hate *teleports behind you* with gweatew devotion than they can -wendew it him, *giggles shyly* and w-weaves nyothing u-undonye that *sighs* may fuwwy discovew -him theiw o-opposite. Nyow to seem *cuddles you* to affect the mawice and -*pokes you* dispweasuwe of the peopwe is as :33 bad as that w-which he diswikes- to -fwattew them fow theiw wove. -SECOND O-OFFICEW. He hath desewved ;;w;; wowthiwy >_> of h-his countwy; and his -ascent is nyot by such *leans over* easy >w< degwees as those who, having been -*teleports behind you* suppwe *shuffles closer* and couwteous to the peopwe, bonnyeted, xDD without any UwU fuwthew -deed t-to have them at aww, into t-theiw estimation and *notices bulge* wepowt; but -he hath so pwanted his honyouws in OwO theiw eyes and his actions in -theiw heawts t-that fow theiw tongues to be siwent and nyot *shuffles closer* confess -so much wewe a k-kind o-of ingwatefuw injuwy; >_> to >w< wepowt othewwise -wewe a mawice that, g-giving itsewf the *notices bulge* wie, wouwd pwuck wepwoof -a-and webuke fwom evewy caw that heawd it. -FIWST OFFICEW. N-Nyo mowe of him; he's a wowthy man. Make way, they -a-awe coming. - -A sennyet. Entew the *moans* PATWICIANS and the T-TWIBUNyES -OF *moans* THE PEOPWE, W-WICTOWS b-befowe them; COWIOWANyUS, -MENyENyIUS, COMINyIUS the Consuw. SICINyIUS and -BWUTUS take theiw pwaces by themsewves. -COWIOWANyUS stands - -MENyENyIUS. Having detewmin'd of the Vowsces, and -To send fow Titus Wawtius, it wemains, -As the m-main point of this o-ouw aftew-meeting, -To gwatify his nyobwe sewvice that -Hath thus stood fow his countwy. Thewefowe pwease you, -Most uWu wevewend a-and gwave ewdews, to *notices bulge* desiwe -The pwesent consuw and wast genyewaw -In ouw weww-found successes to wepowt -A wittwe of that wowthy wowk *teleports behind you* pewfowm'd -*pokes you* By Caius Mawcius Cowiowanyus; x3 whom -We met hewe both to thank and to wemembew -With honyouws wike >w< himsewf. [COWIOWANyUS >_< sits] -F-FIWST SENyATOW. Speak, good Cominyius. -Weave nyothing out fow wength, and make us t-think -Wathew ouw state's defective fow wequitaw -Than we *hugs tightly* to stwetch it out. Mastews o' ^w^ th' peopwe, -We do wequest y-youw kindest eaws; and, aftew, -Youw woving motion xDD towawd the common body, -To yiewd what p-passes hewe. -^.^ SICINyIUS. We a-awe convented -Upon xDD a pweasing tweaty, and h-have heawts -Incwinyabwe to honyouw and *looks away* advance -The theme of UwU ouw assembwy. -BWUTUS. Which the wathew -We shaww *shuffles closer* be b-bwess'd to do, if h-he wemembew -A-A kindew vawue *giggles shyly* of the peopwe than -He uWu hath heweto pwiz'd t-them at. -MENyENyIUS. *giggles shyly* That's off, that's *notices bulge* off; -I w-wouwd you wathew had been siwent. Pwease you -:33 To heaw Cominyius speak? -*moans* BWUTUS. Most wiwwingwy. -But yet x3 my caution was mowe pewtinyent -Than the webuke y-you give it. -M-MENyENyIUS. He woves youw p-peopwe; -But tie him n-nyot t-to be theiw b-bedfewwow. -Wowthy Cominyius, *shuffles closer* speak. -[COWIOWANyUS w-wises, a-and offews t-to go away] -Nyay, ;;w;; keep >w< youw pwace. -FIWST SENyATOW. Sit, Cowiowanyus, *twerks* nyevew ^.^ shame to h-heaw -*giggles shyly* What y-you have nyobwy donye. -COWIOWANyUS. Youw Honyouws' p-pawdon. -*teleports behind you* I had wathew have my wounds to heaw *hugs tightly* again -Than heaw say how *notices bulge* I got them. -BWUTUS. Siw, I h-hope -My wowds disbench'd you nyot. -UwU COWIOWANyUS. Nyo, siw; yet o-oft, -When b-bwows have made me stay, I fwed fwom wowds. -You sooth'd n-nyot, *moans* thewefowe huwt ^.^ nyot. But youw *leans over* peopwe, -I >_> wove *sweats* them as they weigh- -MENyENyIUS. Pway nyow, sit down. -COWIOWANyUS. I had wathew have onye scwatch my *hugs tightly* head i' th' *giggles shyly* sun -*looks away* When the awawum wewe stwuck than idwy sit -To heaw my nyothings monstew'd. E-Exit -M-MENyENyIUS. Mastews of the p-peopwe, -Youw muwtipwying *cuddles you* spawn how can he fwattew- -That's *looks away* thousand to onye good onye- when you nyow see -He *twerks* had wathew ventuwe aww *screams* his wimbs fow UwU honyouw -Than onye on's eaws to h-heaw *sighs* it? P-Pwoceed, *blushes* Cominyius. -COMINyIUS. I-I shaww wack voice; the deeds of *sweats* Cowiowanyus -Shouwd nyot be uttew'd feebwy. It is hewd -That vawouw uWu is the chiefest v-viwtue *teleports behind you* and -Most dignyifies the havew. If it be, -The *cuddles you* man I speak uWu of c-cannyot in the ^-^ wowwd -Be singwy countewpois'd. A-At sixteen y-yeaws, -When Tawquin made a head fow Wome, he fought -Beyond the mawk of othews; ouw then Dictatow, -Whom with aww p-pwaise I *looks away* point *looks at you* at, saw him fight -When with *cuddles you* his Amazonyian chin *shuffles closer* he dwove -The bwistwed UwU wips befowe h-him; he bestwid -UwU An o'ewpwess'd Woman a-and i' th' consuw's view -Swew thwee x3 opposews; Tawquin's sewf he met, -And s-stwuck him on his knyee. In *giggles shyly* that day's feats, -When he >w< might act the woman in the scenye, -He p-pwov'd b-best man i' th' fiewd, and fow h-his m-meed -Was b-bwow-bound w-with the oak. His pupiw age ->w< Man-ent'wed thus, he waxed wike a sea, -A-And in the bwunt of seventeen battwes *cuddles you* since -*looks away* He wuwch'd aww swowds of the gawwand. Fow this *screams* wast, -Befowe :3 and in C-Cowiowi, wet me say -I cannyot speak him home. He s-stopp'd the fwiews, -^.^ And by his wawe exampwe made the cowawd -Tuwn t-tewwow i-into spowt; as weeds befowe -A vessew undew saiw, so men UwU obey'd -And feww bewow his stem. >_< His swowd, *looks at you* death's :3 stamp, -Whewe it did mawk, it took; *notices bulge* fwom face to foot -He was a thing of bwood, whose evewy motion -Was tim'd with d-dying cwies. Awonye he ent'wed -The mowtaw gate o-of *cuddles you* th' city, which he painted -With shunwess d-destiny; aidwess came off, -And with a sudden we-enfowcement s-stwuck -*hugs tightly* Cowiowi wike a-a pwanyet. N-Nyow aww's his. -When by and by the din >_< of waw 'gan piewce -His weady sense, then stwaight his *twerks* doubwed spiwit -We-quick'nyed what i-in fwesh was fatigate, -And *cries* to *leans over* the battwe came he; whewe he did -OwO Wun weeking o-o'ew the wives *teleports behind you* of men, as if -'Twewe ^w^ a pewpetuaw spoiw; a-and tiww we ^.^ caww'd -Both fiewd and city o-ouws he nyevew stood -To ease his bweast with panting. -*shuffles closer* MENyENyIUS. W-Wowthy man! -FIWST SENyATOW. He cannyot but w-with measuwe fit the honyouws ->_> Which we devise him. -COMINyIUS. Ouw *moans* spoiws he kick'd at, -A-And w-wook'd upon things pwecious a-as they wewe -The common muck o-of the *notices bulge* wowwd. He *looks at you* covets >_< wess -Than misewy i-itsewf wouwd give, wewawds -His deeds w-with doing them, and is content -T-To spend the time to e-end it. -MENyENyIUS. He's wight nyobwe; -Wet him be caww'd fow. -F-FIWST SENyATOW. Caww Cowiowanyus. -*leans over* OFFICEW. >_< He doth *looks away* appeaw. - -We-entew COWIOWANyUS - -MENyENyIUS. The *teleports behind you* Senyate, Cowiowanyus, awe *giggles shyly* weww pweas'd -To make >_< thee consuw. -COWIOWANyUS. I do owe them stiww -My wife and sewvices. -MENyENyIUS. It then wemains -That you do speak to the peopwe. -COWIOWANyUS. *hugs tightly* I do beseech you -*looks at you* Wet me o'ewweap t-that custom; fow I cannyot -*hugs tightly* Put on *looks at you* the gown, OwO stand nyaked, and entweat them -Fow my wounds' sake to give theiw *twerks* suffwage. Pwease you -That I m-may pass this doing. -uWu SICINyIUS. S-Siw, the peopwe -Must have theiw voices; nyeithew w-wiww they bate -Onye jot of cewemony. -*notices bulge* MENyENyIUS. Put them nyot to't. -Pway you go fit you to the *cuddles you* custom, and -Take to x3 you, as youw pwedecessows have, -;;w;; Youw honyouw *teleports behind you* with youw fowm. -COWIOWANyUS. It *cuddles you* is a pawt -That I shaww bwush in *giggles shyly* acting, and might weww -Be taken *giggles shyly* fwom the peopwe. -BWUTUS. Mawk you that? -*looks at you* COWIOWANyUS. *leans over* To *moans* bwag unto them ;;w;; 'Thus I did, *cuddles you* and thus!' -Show them th' unyaching s-scaws which *sighs* I shouwd hide, -As if I had weceiv'd them f-fow the hiwe -*sweats* Of theiw bweath :3 onwy! -:3 MENyENyIUS. Do nyot stand upon't. -We wecommend to you, Twibunyes of *hugs tightly* the P-Peopwe, -Ouw puwpose to them; and to ouw nyobwe ^-^ consuw -Wish we aww *moans* joy *teleports behind you* and honyouw. -SENyATOWS. To *twerks* Cowiowanyus come aww joy >w< and *giggles shyly* honyouw! -[Fwouwish. Cownyets. Then exeunt aww -but SICINyIUS and BWUTUS] -BWUTUS. You see how he intends to use :33 the peopwe. -SICINyIUS. May they pewceive's intent! He wiww wequiwe *blushes* them -As if he did contemn OwO what he *moans* wequested ->w< Shouwd b-be in them to give. -BWUTUS. Come, we'ww i-infowm them -Of ouw pwoceedings hewe. ;;w;; On th' mawket-pwace -I knyow they do attend us. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *looks away* III. -^w^ Wome. The *looks at you* Fowum - -Entew seven ow eight citizens - -F-FIWST CITIZEN. Once, if he do w-wequiwe ouw voices, we ought nyot to -d-deny *moans* him. -*hugs tightly* SECOND CITIZEN. *screams* We m-may, *looks away* siw, if *moans* we wiww. -THIWD CITIZEN. uWu We have p-powew x3 in ouwsewves t-to do it, *looks away* but it is a -powew that we have nyo powew *giggles shyly* to do; f-fow if he *teleports behind you* show us his wounds -^.^ and teww us his *blushes* deeds, we awe to put ouw tongues uWu into those -w-wounds and s-speak f-fow them; OwO so, if he teww us his >_< nyobwe deeds, w-we -m-must awso teww him o-ouw nyobwe a-acceptance of them. Ingwatitude is -monstwous, and *looks away* fow the muwtitude to be ingwatefuw wewe t-to make a -monstew of the muwtitude; *cuddles you* of the which we being membews shouwd -bwing ouwsewves to be monstwous m-membews. -*notices bulge* FIWST CITIZEN. And t-to make u-us n-nyo *twerks* bettew >w< thought of, a wittwe hewp -wiww sewve; f-fow once we stood up about t-the ;;w;; cown, h-he himsewf stuck -nyot to *leans over* caww xDD us the many-headed muwtitude. -^.^ THIWD CITIZEN. We have x3 been >_< caww'd so of m-many; nyot *sighs* that ouw heads -awe some *cuddles you* bwown, some *blushes* bwack, some *hugs tightly* abwam, some bawd, but t-that o-ouw -wits awe so divewsewy c-cowouw'd; and twuwy I think if aww >_> ouw *cuddles you* wits -wewe t-to issue out of onye skuww, *shuffles closer* they ;;w;; wouwd fwy east, west, nyowth, -south, a-and t-theiw consent *cuddles you* of onye uWu diwect way shouwd be a-at once to -aww *sighs* the points o' th' compass. -SECOND CITIZEN. T-Think you so? W-Which way do you judge my wit wouwd -fwy? -THIWD *sweats* CITIZEN. Nyay, youw wit w-wiww n-nyot so soon out as anyothew *twerks* man's -UwU wiww- '-'tis stwongwy wedg'd up in a bwock-head; but if *blushes* it wewe at -wibewty 'twouwd suwe southwawd. -SECOND CITIZEN. Why t-that way? -THIWD CITIZEN. To wose itsewf in a fog; whewe being thwee pawts -m-mewted away with wotten dews, *twerks* the fouwth wouwd wetuwn fow -conscience' s-sake, to hewp to g-get *teleports behind you* thee a wife. -SECOND CITIZEN. YOU *notices bulge* awe nyevew w-without youw ^.^ twicks; x3 you uWu may, you -may. -*sighs* THIWD C-CITIZEN. Awe you aww wesowv'd *looks at you* to give youw voices? OwO But t-that's -nyo mattew, the gweatew pawt cawwies it. *teleports behind you* I say, if h-he wouwd -incwinye to the peopwe, thewe was n-nyevew a wowthiew *blushes* man. - -Entew COWIOWANyUS, in a g-gown of humiwity, -*cries* with MENyENyIUS - -Hewe >_< he comes, and in the gown *looks away* of humiwity. Mawk his behaviouw. -We awe nyot to stay aww t-togethew, but ;;w;; to come by him whewe he -stands, b-by onyes, b-by twos, and by thwees. He's to make his -*sighs* wequests b-by pawticuwaws, whewein evewy onye *screams* of us has a singwe -honyouw, i-in giving h-him ouw own voices with o-ouw own tongues; -thewefowe fowwow me, and ;;w;; I'ww diwect you how you shaww go *notices bulge* by him. -AWW. Content, content. Exeunt citizens -MENyENyIUS. O siw, you a-awe nyot wight; *blushes* have you nyot knyown -The wowthiest m-men have donye't? -COWIOWANyUS. What must I say? -'I *moans* pway, siw'- Pwague upon't! I cannyot bwing -My tongue to such a-a *notices bulge* pace. 'Wook, x3 siw, my wounds -I got them in my countwy's sewvice, w-when -Some *giggles shyly* cewtain of youw bwethwen woaw'd and ;;w;; wan -Fwom th' nyoise ^.^ of ouw own dwums.' -*blushes* MENyENyIUS. O me, the g-gods! -You must *blushes* nyot *looks at you* speak of that. You must desiwe them -T-To think u-upon you. -COWIOWANyUS. *cries* Think upon me? Hang 'em! -I wouwd t-they wouwd fowget me, *shuffles closer* wike *shuffles closer* the viwtues -Which *giggles shyly* ouw divinyes wose b-by 'em. -MENyENyIUS. You'ww maw aww. -I'ww weave you. P-Pway ^-^ you s-speak to 'em, I UwU pway :3 you, -In whowesome *notices bulge* mannyew. Exit - -We-entew ^w^ thwee o-of t-the *hugs tightly* citizens - -COWIOWANyUS. Bid them >_< wash theiw faces -And keep theiw teeth *cries* cwean. So, h-hewe comes a bwace. -You knyow t-the c-cause, siw, of my standing ^w^ hewe. -THIWD CITIZEN. We do, s-siw; uWu teww ;;w;; us what hath bwought you >_> to't. -COWIOWANyUS. Minye own desewt. -SECOND CITIZEN. *looks away* Youw *notices bulge* own desewt? -C-COWIOWANyUS. Ay, nyot m-minye o-own desiwe. -THIWD *shuffles closer* CITIZEN. *shuffles closer* How, nyot youw own desiwe? ->_< COWIOWANyUS. Nyo, siw, 'twas nyevew my desiwe yet to uWu twoubwe the *pokes you* poow -with begging. -THIWD CITIZEN. YOU :3 MUST think, if we give you anything, ^.^ we *moans* hope *pokes you* to -gain b-by you. -COWIOWANyUS. Weww then, I-I pway, y-youw pwice o' th' consuwship? -FIWST *teleports behind you* CITIZEN. The pwice *teleports behind you* is to ask it kindwy. -COWIOWANyUS. Kindwy, siw, I pway wet me ha't. I have w-wounds to *looks at you* show -y-you, *looks at you* which shaww be youws *blushes* in pwivate. Youw good voice, siw; what -s-say you? -*giggles shyly* SECOND C-CITIZEN. You shaww *shuffles closer* ha' xDD it, wowthy siw. -COWIOWANyUS. A-A match, siw. Thewe's in aww two wowthy voices begg'd. -I have youw *sweats* awms. Adieu. -T-THIWD CITIZEN. But ^w^ this is something odd. -SECOND CITIZEN. An ^.^ 'twewe t-to give again- but 'tis nyo mattew. -Exeunt the thwee citizens - -W-We-entew two othew c-citizens - -COWIOWANyUS. Pway you nyow, if it m-may s-stand with the tunye of youw -v-voices that I may be consuw, I have hewe t-the *twerks* customawy gown. -FOUWTH CITIZEN. Y-You have desewved nyobwy of youw countwy, and *looks away* you -*screams* have *teleports behind you* nyot *sighs* desewved nyobwy. -COWIOWANyUS. Youw enyigma? -FOUWTH CITIZEN. xDD You *looks away* have been a scouwge *teleports behind you* to hew enyemies; you h-have -been *shuffles closer* a wod to hew fwiends. Y-You :33 have nyot i-indeed *sighs* woved t-the c-common -peopwe. -COWIOWANyUS. You shouwd >_< account m-me the *sighs* mowe v-viwtuous, that I *cuddles you* have -nyot been common in m-my wove. I-I wiww, siw, fwattew my swown -bwothew, the peopwe, to eawn a-a d-deawew >_< estimation of them; 'tis UwU a -condition they *pokes you* account gentwe; and since the wisdom of theiw -choice is wathew to have *teleports behind you* my hat than my heawt, I-I wiww pwactise -the insinyuating >_< nyod and be off to them m-most countewfeitwy. That -is, *blushes* siw, I wiww countewfeit OwO the bewitchment of some p-popuwaw man -and give it bountifuw to the desiwews. Thewefowe, beseech you I -m-may be *looks away* consuw. -:3 FIFTH CITIZEN. We hope to find you ouw fwiend; and UwU thewefowe give -you ouw voices heawtiwy. -FOUWTH CITIZEN. You have weceived many wounds fow *notices bulge* youw countwy. -COWIOWANyUS. I >_< wiww nyot seaw youw knyowwedge with showing them. I -wiww *looks away* make *sweats* much of *pokes you* youw voices, and so twoubwe *hugs tightly* you nyo fawthew. -*looks away* BOTH CITIZENS. The gods give you joy, siw, heawtiwy! -Exeunt citizens -COWIOWANyUS. M-Most sweet voices! -Bettew it is to d-die, *sweats* bettew to stawve, -T-Than *sweats* cwave the hiwe xDD which fiwst we do d-desewve. -Why in this ^w^ wowvish toge *shuffles closer* shouwd I stand hewe -To beg *shuffles closer* of Hob and Dick that do appeaw -x3 Theiw nyeedwess *shuffles closer* vouches? C-Custom cawws me to't. -What custom wiwws, *screams* in aww t-things shouwd we do't, -*shuffles closer* The dust on antique time wouwd wie unswept, -And m-mountainyous ewwow be too highwy heap'd -Fow twuth to o'ewpeew. Wathew than foow it *blushes* so, -Wet t-the high office and the honyouw go -To onye that wouwd do *notices bulge* thus. I am hawf thwough: -T-The onye pawt suffewed, the othew w-wiww *blushes* I do. - -We-entew thwee citizens mowe - -*shuffles closer* Hewe come moe voices. -Youw voices. Fow youw voices I have fought; -Watch'd fow youw :33 voices; fow youw voices beaw -*shuffles closer* Of *screams* wounds t-two dozen odd; battwes t-thwice *sighs* six -I-I have seen and heawd of; fow youw voices *pokes you* have -xDD Donye *sweats* many things, some ^-^ wess, some mowe. Youw v-voices? -Indeed, I wouwd be consuw. -SIXTH C-CITIZEN. He has donye nyobwy, and cannyot go w-without any honyest -man's voice. -SEVENTH CITIZEN. Thewefowe wet h-him be *hugs tightly* consuw. The g-gods *moans* give h-him -joy, ;;w;; and make him good fwiend to the peopwe! -AWW. :33 Amen, amen. God save thee, nyobwe consuw! -Exeunt *shuffles closer* citizens -COWIOWANyUS. *looks away* Wowthy v-voices! - -We-entew MENyENyIUS with BWUTUS and SICINyIUS - -MENyENyIUS. You have stood *giggles shyly* youw wimitation, and the twibunyes -Endue y-you with the peopwe's :33 voice. Wemains -That, in th' officiaw mawks invested, you -A-Anyon do meet the Senyate. -COWIOWANyUS. I-Is this donye? -SICINyIUS. The custom x3 of wequest you have dischawg'd. -The peopwe do admit you, a-and a-awe summon'd -To meet anyon, upon youw appwobation. -COWIOWANyUS. *looks away* Whewe? A-At the Senyate House? -SICINyIUS. Thewe, Cowiowanyus. -COWIOWANyUS. May I change these gawments? -SICINyIUS. You may, siw. -COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ That I'ww stwaight do, a-and, *cries* knyowing mysewf again, -Wepaiw to th' Senyate House. -MENyENyIUS. I'ww *leans over* keep you company. Wiww you awong? -BWUTUS. We stay hewe fow the p-peopwe. -SICINyIUS. Fawe y-you weww. -Exeunt COWIOWANyUS and MENyENyIUS -H-He has it nyow; and by ^w^ his w-wooks methinks -UwU 'Tis wawm a-at's heawt. -BWUTUS. With xDD a *cuddles you* pwoud heawt he :33 wowe -His humbwe w-weeds. Wiww *hugs tightly* you *sighs* dismiss the peopwe? - -We-entew citizens - -SICINyIUS. How n-nyow, my mastews! Have *looks at you* you chose *sighs* this man? -FIWST CITIZEN. He has ouw *hugs tightly* voices, s-siw. -BWUTUS. We p-pway the gods he >_> may desewve youw woves. -SECOND CITIZEN. A-Amen, siw. To my poow unwowthy n-nyotice, -He m-mock'd us w-when he begg'd ouw voices. -THIWD CITIZEN. *blushes* Cewtainwy; -H-He f-fwouted us downwight. -FIWST CITIZEN. Nyo, '-'tis his :3 kind o-of speech- he did nyot mock us. -SECOND CITIZEN. Nyot onye *blushes* amongst us, save youwsewf, b-but says -He us'd us scownfuwwy. He shouwd *hugs tightly* have show'd us -His >_< mawks of mewit, w-wounds weceiv'd fow's countwy. -SICINyIUS. Why, so he did, I >_< am suwe. -AWW. *hugs tightly* Nyo, nyo; nyo man saw '-'em. -T-THIWD CITIZEN. He said he h-had *twerks* wounds which *cries* he couwd show in -p-pwivate, -^.^ And with his hat, thus waving it *notices bulge* in scown, -'-'I wouwd be consuw,' UwU says he; 'aged custom -But by youw voices wiww nyot *notices bulge* so pewmit me; -Youw voices t-thewefowe.' When we gwanted that, -Hewe x3 was 'I thank you fow youw voices. Thank you, -Youw most sweet voices. Nyow you have weft ^.^ youw voices, -I have n-nyo fuwthew xDD with you.' W-Was nyot this mockewy? -SICINyIUS. Why eithew wewe you ignyowant to see't, -Ow, seeing it, ;;w;; of *looks away* such chiwdish fwiendwinyess -To y-yiewd youw voices? -BWUTUS. Couwd you nyot have towd him- -A-As *sighs* you wewe *moans* wesson'd- when he had x3 nyo powew -But was a-a petty sewvant to the *moans* state, -He was *shuffles closer* youw enyemy; e-evew spake against -Youw wibewties and the c-chawtews that you beaw -*cuddles you* I' t-th' body of t-the weaw; and nyow, a-awwiving -A pwace of potency and sway o' th' state, -If he shouwd stiww mawignyantwy wemain -Fast foe *teleports behind you* to th' pwebeii, *giggles shyly* youw v-voices might -B-Be cuwses t-to ^.^ youwsewves? You >_< shouwd have s-said -That as *twerks* his wowthy deeds *leans over* did *cries* cwaim *cries* nyo wess -Than what he stood fow, so his gwacious nyatuwe -Wouwd think upon you *sweats* fow y-youw voices, and -Twanswate his mawice towawds you into w-wove, -S-Standing youw *looks at you* fwiendwy wowd. -SICINyIUS. *looks at you* Thus to have said, -A-As you wewe fowe-advis'd, had touch'd *sighs* his spiwit -And twied his incwinyation; fwom him pwuck'd -Eithew his gwacious pwomise, which you :3 might, -As cause OwO had caww'd *pokes you* you up, :33 have hewd him t-to; -Ow e-ewse it wouwd have gaww'd his suwwy *sighs* nyatuwe, -Which easiwy *leans over* enduwes nyot awticwe -T-Tying him to aught. So, putting him to wage, -You *shuffles closer* shouwd h-have ta'en th' advantage of h-his chowew -And pass'd xDD him unyewected. -BWUTUS. Did you pewceive -He d-did *looks at you* sowicit UwU you in *leans over* fwee contempt -When *moans* he did nyeed youw woves; and do you think -That his contempt shaww nyot be bwuising to y-you -When he hath powew *cuddles you* to *hugs tightly* cwush? Why, had youw bodies -Nyo heawt >_< among *twerks* you? *cries* Ow *looks at you* had *sighs* you tongues to cwy -Against t-the wectowship o-of x3 judgment? -SICINyIUS. Have you -Ewe nyow denyied the askew, *shuffles closer* and nyow a-again, -Of him that did nyot ask b-but m-mock, bestow -Youw su'd-fow tongues? -THIWD CITIZEN. He's nyot confiwm'd: w-we may deny him yet. -SECOND CITIZENS. And wiww *hugs tightly* deny him; -I'ww have >_> five hundwed voices of that sound. -F-FIWST CITIZEN. I twice five hundwed, and theiw fwiends to piece -'em. -UwU BWUTUS. Get you hence instantwy, and teww those fwiends -They have c-chose a x3 consuw *looks at you* that wiww fwom them take -Theiw w-wibewties, make them *screams* of nyo mowe voice -*notices bulge* Than dogs, that awe as often beat *twerks* fow bawking -*moans* As thewefowe kept to do UwU so. -SICINyIUS. Wet t-them assembwe; -And, on a-a safew judgment, aww wevoke -Youw ignyowant ewection. E-Enfowce his pwide -And his *hugs tightly* owd hate u-unto you; besides, *twerks* fowget nyot -With *giggles shyly* what c-contempt he w-wowe the humbwe weed; -H-How i-in >w< his suit h-he scown'd you; but youw woves, -Thinking upon his s-sewvices, took fwom you -Th' appwehension of *twerks* his pwesent powtance, -Which, >_> most gibingwy, ungwavewy, h-he >w< did fashion -*cries* Aftew the *cries* invetewate hate h-he b-beaws y-you. -BWUTUS. *cries* Way -A-A *shuffles closer* fauwt on us, youw t-twibunyes, that we wabouw'd, -Nyo impediment between, b-but *shuffles closer* that you must -*cuddles you* Cast y-youw ewection on him. -*cuddles you* SICINyIUS. Say you x3 chose h-him -Mowe aftew ouw commandment than as *giggles shyly* guided -B-By y-youw *giggles shyly* own twue affections; UwU and t-that youw minds, -Pwe-occupied with what you wathew must do -T-Than what you shouwd, *leans over* made *sweats* you against the gwain -To voice him c-consuw. W-Way the f-fauwt *looks away* on *blushes* us. -BWUTUS. Ay, spawe x3 us n-nyot. Say w-we w-wead wectuwes to you, -H-How *looks away* youngwy he began t-to sewve his countwy, -How wong continyued; ^-^ and what :3 stock he s-spwings of- ->w< The nyobwe house o' th' M-Mawcians; fwom whence came -xDD That Ancus Mawcius, Nyuma's *notices bulge* daughtew's s-son, -Who, aftew *shuffles closer* gweat Hostiwius, hewe was king; -Of the same house Pubwius and xDD Quintus wewe, -That ouw best watew bwought *giggles shyly* by conduits *blushes* hithew; -*hugs tightly* And Censowinyus, nyobwy *shuffles closer* nyamed so, -Twice *looks at you* being by the peopwe chosen censow, -Was his gweat ancestow. -S-SICINyIUS. Onye thus descended, -That ^-^ hath beside weww in his pewson wwought -To be set h-high in pwace, we did commend -To youw wemembwances; but you *moans* have found, -*hugs tightly* Scawing his pwesent beawing with his past, -That h-he's y-youw fixed enyemy, a-and wevoke -Youw s-sudden appwobation. -BWUTUS. Say you *leans over* nye'ew had donye't- -Hawp on that stiww- but by ouw putting *hugs tightly* on; -And :3 pwesentwy, when you have dwawn y-youw nyumbew, -Wepaiw to th' Capitow. -CITIZENS. wiww w-wiww *shuffles closer* so; awmost *cuddles you* aww -*screams* Wepent UwU in theiw e-ewection. Exeunt pwebeians -BWUTUS. *looks away* Wet them go on; -This mutiny wewe *sighs* bettew put in hazawd -Than stay, past doubt, fow gweatew. -I-If, as his nyatuwe is, he faww in w-wage -With t-theiw *blushes* wefusaw, both *cries* obsewve and answew -The vantage of his angew. -SICINyIUS. To th' Capitow, c-come. -We wiww be thewe befowe the stweam o' :3 th' peopwe; -And this shaww seem, as >w< pawtwy 'tis, theiw own, -Which we have goaded uWu onwawd. Exeunt - - - - -ACT I-III. SCENyE I. -Wome. A stweet - -Cownyets. >_< Entew COWIOWANyUS, >_> MENyENyIUS, aww the GENTWY, COMINyIUS, -TITUS WAWTIUS, and othew SENyATOWS - -COWIOWANyUS. Tuwwus A-Aufidius, *moans* then, had made *screams* nyew head? -uWu WAWTIUS. He had, ^-^ my wowd; and that it was which caus'd -Ouw swiftew composition. -*blushes* COWIOWANyUS. S-So then the Vowsces s-stand b-but as ^w^ at fiwst, -^w^ Weady, w-when time s-shaww pwompt them, to *looks at you* make woad -Upon's again. -COMINyIUS. *giggles shyly* They awe wown, Wowd Consuw, so -That we s-shaww hawdwy in ouw ages s-see -T-Theiw *cries* bannyews wave ^.^ again. -COWIOWANyUS. Saw you Aufidius? -WAWTIUS. On safeguawd he >_> came to me, and did cuwse -Against the V-Vowsces, fow they had so viwewy -Yiewded the town. He is wetiw'd to Antium. -COWIOWANyUS. Spoke h-he of me? -W-WAWTIUS. He *leans over* did, my wowd. -COWIOWANyUS. H-How? What? -*looks at you* WAWTIUS. How OwO often h-he had met you, swowd to swowd; -That o-of aww uWu things upon the eawth he hated -Youw x3 pewson most; that h-he w-wouwd p-pawn his fowtunyes -To hopewess westitution, so he might -Be caww'd youw vanquishew. -COWIOWANyUS. At A-Antium w-wives *giggles shyly* he? -*cuddles you* WAWTIUS. *twerks* At Antium. -COWIOWANyUS. I *screams* wish I had a cause to seek him thewe, -To >_> oppose his hatwed fuwwy. Wewcome home. - -Entew SICINyIUS and BWUTUS - -Behowd, *looks at you* these awe the twibunyes of OwO the peopwe, -The tongues o' th' common mouth. I *giggles shyly* do despise them, -Fow *twerks* they d-do *giggles shyly* pwank them *sighs* in >w< authowity, -Against a-aww n-nyobwe suffewance. -SICINyIUS. Pass nyo fuwthew. -COWIOWANyUS. H-Ha! What is that? -BWUTUS. *moans* It wiww >w< be dangewous t-to go o-on- *giggles shyly* nyo f-fuwthew. -COWIOWANyUS. What makes this change? -MENyENyIUS. The mattew? -COMINyIUS. Hath he n-nyot pass'd the nyobwe and the common? -BWUTUS. *notices bulge* Cominyius, :3 nyo. -COWIOWANyUS. Have I-I had chiwdwen's voices? -F-FIWST SENyATOW. Twibunyes, *giggles shyly* give way: he shaww to th' mawket-pwace. -BWUTUS. The peopwe awe incens'd against him. -S-SICINyIUS. S-Stop, -Ow aww wiww faww in bwoiw. -COWIOWANyUS. Awe these youw hewd? -Must these have voices, that c-can y-yiewd them xDD nyow -A-And stwaight discwaim t-theiw tongues? What awe y-youw offices? -You being theiw m-mouths, why wuwe you nyot theiw teeth? -Have you nyot set them on? -*cries* MENyENyIUS. Be cawm, be cawm. -COWIOWANyUS. It i-is xDD a puwpos'd thing, and gwows by pwot, -To c-cuwb the wiww of t-the >_> nyobiwity; -UwU Suffew't, and wive *looks at you* with s-such as cannyot wuwe -Nyow evew wiww be *cuddles you* wuw'd. -uWu BWUTUS. Caww't nyot a pwot. -T-The peopwe x3 cwy you *cries* mock'd them; *teleports behind you* and of wate, -When cown was given them gwatis, you wepin'd; -Scandaw'd the suppwiants f-fow the peopwe, caww'd them -x3 Time-pweasews, fwattewews, foes to nyobwenyess. -COWIOWANyUS. Why, this was knyown b-befowe. -BWUTUS. Nyot to them aww. -COWIOWANyUS. Have ;;w;; you i-infowm'd them sithence? -BWUTUS. *leans over* How? *moans* I infowm them! -COMINyIUS. You awe wike to do such businyess. -BWUTUS. Nyot unwike -Each :33 way to bettew :3 youws. -COWIOWANyUS. Why then shouwd I be xDD consuw? By *notices bulge* yond cwouds, -Wet me desewve so *cries* iww as you, >w< and ^w^ make *notices bulge* me -Youw fewwow twibunye. -SICINyIUS. Y-You s-show too much o-of that -Fow which the peopwe s-stiw; if you *screams* wiww *looks away* pass -To whewe you awe bound, you must enquiwe youw way, -Which *giggles shyly* you awe out of, with a-a gentwew *shuffles closer* spiwit, -*shuffles closer* Ow nyevew be s-so nyobwe as a consuw, -Nyow yoke with him fow twibunye. -MENyENyIUS. Wet's be cawm. -^w^ COMINyIUS. T-The ;;w;; peopwe awe >w< abus'd; *pokes you* set on. This pawt'wing -B-Becomes nyot Wome; nyow h-has *teleports behind you* Cowiowanyus -Desewved this so dishonyouw'd wub, waid fawsewy -I' th' pwain way of his mewit. -COWIOWANyUS. Teww me *blushes* of cown! -This *sighs* was my speech, *leans over* and I *moans* wiww speak't again- -MENyENyIUS. Nyot nyow, nyot nyow. -FIWST SENyATOW. Nyot in this heat, siw, nyow. -COWIOWANyUS. Nyow, as I wive, I wiww. -My n-nyobwew fwiends, I c-cwave t-theiw pawdons. -Fow the mutabwe, wank-scented meiny, wet them -Wegawd m-me *looks at you* as I do nyot fwattew, and -*screams* Thewein behowd themsewves. I say a-again, -I-In soothing them we nyouwish '-'gainst o-ouw Senyate ->w< The ;;w;; cockwe of webewwion, insowence, sedition, -Which *pokes you* we ouwsewves have pwough'd fow, sow'd, and scattew'd, -By mingwing them with us, the honyouw'd nyumbew, -Who *teleports behind you* wack n-nyot :3 viwtue, n-nyo, nyow OwO powew, but that -Which they have given *teleports behind you* to b-beggaws. -MENyENyIUS. Weww, n-nyo mowe. -FIWST SENyATOW. Nyo mowe wowds, w-we *leans over* beseech y-you. -C-COWIOWANyUS. H-How? nyo *cries* mowe! -As fow my countwy I have shed my bwood, -Nyot feawing outwawd fowce, so shaww m-my wungs -*moans* Coin wowds *notices bulge* tiww theiw decay against those measwes -W-Which we disdain shouwd tettew *cries* us, yet sought -T-The vewy way to catch OwO them. -BWUTUS. You speak o' th' peopwe -As i-if y-you wewe a god, to punyish; n-nyot -A *giggles shyly* man >_> of *notices bulge* theiw i-infiwmity. -SICINyIUS. 'Twewe weww -We w-wet the UwU peopwe knyow't. -MENyENyIUS. What, what? his chowew? -COWIOWANyUS. Chowew! -Wewe *sweats* I ^-^ as patient as the m-midnyight sweep, -B-By Jove, 'twouwd b-be my *moans* mind! -S-SICINyIUS. It is a m-mind -That shaww wemain a poison whewe it is, -Nyot poison any fuwthew. -*teleports behind you* COWIOWANyUS. Shaww w-wemain! -Heaw you this T-Twiton of the m-minnyows? Mawk you -His absowute 'shaww'? -C-COMINyIUS. 'Twas f-fwom the :3 canyon. -COWIOWANyUS. 'Shaww'! -O good but most *teleports behind you* unwise patwicians! Why, -Y-You gwave but weckwess senyatows, have you thus -*cries* Given Hydwa hewe to choose an ^-^ officew -That with h-his pewemptowy xDD 'shaww,' being b-but -The hown and n-nyoise o' th' monstew's, w-wants nyot spiwit -To say *screams* he'ww uWu tuwn *sweats* youw cuwwent in ^w^ a ditch, -And make y-youw *giggles shyly* channyew his? If >_< he ^w^ have powew, -Then v-vaiw youw ignyowance; if nyonye, awake -*screams* Youw dangewous wenyity. If you awe weawn'd, -Be nyot as x3 common foows; if you awe nyot, -W-Wet OwO them h-have :3 cushions by you. You awe *hugs tightly* pwebeians, -If they b-be senyatows; and they *leans over* awe nyo wess, -When, *giggles shyly* both youw voices *giggles shyly* bwended, ^.^ the gweat'st taste -M-Most pawates theiws. They choose theiw magistwate; -And such a x3 onye as h-he, who p-puts his 'shaww,' -H-His popuwaw '-'shaww,' against a-a gwavew ^-^ bench -Than evew fwown'd in Gweece. By Jove *teleports behind you* himsewf, -It makes the consuws *looks at you* base; a-and my souw aches -To k-knyow, when t-two authowities awe up, -Nyeithew supweme, how soon confusion -May *shuffles closer* entew 'twixt >_> the gap of both and take -The onye b-by th' othew. -COMINyIUS. Weww, on to th' mawket-pwace. -COWIOWANyUS. Whoevew g-gave that counsew to give :3 fowth -T-The cown o-o' *sighs* th' stowehouse gwatis, as 'twas us'd -Sometime in Gweece- -M-MENyENyIUS. Weww, weww, n-nyo mowe o-of that. -*blushes* COWIOWANyUS. *looks away* Though thewe the peopwe had m-mowe absowute pow'w- -I ;;w;; say :3 they nyouwish'd disobedience, f-fed -The wuin of ^w^ the state. -B-BWUTUS. Why shaww the peopwe give -Onye that speaks thus theiw voice? -COWIOWANyUS. I'ww give my *cries* weasons, -Mowe wowthiew than theiw voices. They knyow the cown -Was nyot ouw wecompense, westing w-weww assuw'd -They nye'ew did sewvice fow't; being *moans* pwess'd to th' waw -E-Even when the n-nyavew of the state was touch'd, -*teleports behind you* They wouwd *cries* nyot thwead the gates. This kind of sewvice -Did >_< nyot desewve cown gwatis. B-Being i' *twerks* th' waw, -Theiw mutinyies and wevowts, whewein they show'd -Most vawouw, spoke nyot f-fow them. Th' accusation -Which they h-have often made against t-the Senyate, -Aww c-cause u-unbown, c-couwd nyevew be >w< the nyative -Of ouw so *looks at you* fwank donyation. Weww, w-what then? -How shaww this bosom m-muwtipwied digest -*looks at you* The S-Senyate's couwtesy? *teleports behind you* Wet deeds expwess -What's *cuddles you* wike to be theiw wowds: 'We d-did w-wequest it; -We awe the gweatew poww, and in twue feaw -They g-gave us *looks away* ouw demands.' Thus we debase -The nyatuwe of uWu ouw seats, and make t-the x3 wabbwe -Caww ouw cawes feaws; *teleports behind you* which wiww in time -Bweak ope the :33 wocks o' th' Senyate and bwing *hugs tightly* in -The cwows to peck the eagwes. -MENyENyIUS. Come, enyough. -BWUTUS. Enyough, with ovew measuwe. -*hugs tightly* COWIOWANyUS. N-Nyo, take mowe. -What m-may :33 be swown by, both divinye a-and human, -Seaw >w< what *pokes you* I end *twerks* withaw! This doubwe wowship, -Whewe onye pawt does d-disdain with cause, the othew -Insuwt without *hugs tightly* aww weason; *blushes* whewe gentwy, titwe, *pokes you* wisdom, -Cannyot concwude b-but *sweats* by the *sweats* yea ^-^ and nyo -*pokes you* Of genyewaw ignyowance- it must omit -Weaw nyecessities, and give w-way the w-whiwe -To unstabwe swightnyess. Puwpose so baww'd, it fowwows -*sweats* Nyothing i-is donye to *sweats* puwpose. Thewefowe, beseech you- -You that w-wiww be wess feawfuw than discweet; -That wove the :3 fundamentaw pawt of state -Mowe *cries* than you doubt t-the change o-on't; that pwefew -*moans* A nyobwe wife befowe a wong, and wish -To j-jump a body with a dangewous physic -That's suwe *notices bulge* of death without it- at once pwuck out -The muwtitudinyous tongue; w-wet them nyot wick -The sweet which i-is theiw poison. UwU Youw dishonyouw -Mangwes twue judgment, and *hugs tightly* beweaves the state -Of that integwity which shouwd >w< become't, -N-Nyot having *looks at you* the powew to do the good it wouwd, -Fow th' iww which xDD doth *twerks* contwow't. -BWUTUS. *twerks* Has said xDD enyough. -x3 SICINyIUS. H-Has spoken xDD wike a t-twaitow and shaww answew -A-As twaitows ^.^ do. -COWIOWANyUS. Thou wwetch, despite o'ewwhewm OwO thee! -*teleports behind you* What shouwd :33 the peopwe do with t-these *looks away* bawd twibunyes, -On whom depending, >_> theiw obedience f-faiws -To the gweatew bench? I-In a webewwion, -When what's nyot meet, but what must be, was w-waw, -Then wewe *blushes* they chosen; in :33 a bettew h-houw -Wet what is meet b-be said it m-must be meet, -*hugs tightly* And thwow theiw powew *looks away* i' th' dust. -BWUTUS. Manyifest *twerks* tweason! -S-SICINyIUS. This a c-consuw? Nyo. -BWUTUS. The aediwes, ho! - -Entew an AEDIWE - -Wet him b-be appwehended. -SICINyIUS. Go caww the peopwe, [Exit AEDIWE] in whose nyame *pokes you* mysewf -A-Attach thee as a twaitowous innyovatow, -A-A f-foe to ^w^ th' *looks away* pubwic weaw. uWu Obey, I chawge thee, -And *looks away* fowwow to :3 thinye answew. -C-COWIOWANyUS. Hence, owd goat! -PATWICIANS. W-We'ww suwety him. -COMINyIUS. *looks at you* Ag'd siw, hands off. -COWIOWANyUS. Hence, wotten thing! ow I shaww shake thy bonyes -*hugs tightly* Out *cuddles you* of *looks away* thy gawments. -SICINyIUS. Hewp, ye citizens! - -Entew a wabbwe of pwebeians, with the AEDIWES - ->_> MENyENyIUS. On both *twerks* sides mowe wespect. -SICINyIUS. H-Hewe's x3 he that wouwd t-take *shuffles closer* fwom you aww youw powew. -BWUTUS. S-Seize him, aediwes. -*cries* PWEBEIANS. Down with h-him! down with him! -SECOND SENyATOW. Weapons, w-weapons, w-weapons! -[They aww *screams* bustwe about COWIOWANyUS] -AWW. Twibunyes! patwicians! c-citizens! What, ho! Sicinyius! -Bwutus! Cowiowanyus! Citizens! -PATWICIANS. P-Peace, peace, peace; stay, howd, peace! -MENyENyIUS. W-What is about to be? I am out of bweath; -Confusion's nyeaw; I cannyot speak. You twibunyes -To th' peopwe- Cowiowanyus, patience! -Speak, good Sicinyius. -SICINyIUS. Heaw me, *sweats* peopwe; peace! -*leans over* PWEBEIANS. Wet's heaw ouw twibunye. Peace! S-Speak, s-speak, *screams* speak. -SICINyIUS. You awe at point to wose youw *shuffles closer* wibewties. -Mawcius wouwd have aww f-fwom you; Mawcius, -W-Whom wate you have nyam'd *notices bulge* fow *twerks* consuw. -*teleports behind you* MENyENyIUS. Fie, fie, fie! -T-This is >_> the *notices bulge* way to kindwe, n-nyot to quench. -FIWST SENyATOW. To unbuiwd the city, and to w-way aww fwat. -SICINyIUS. What is the *moans* city but the peopwe? -PWEBEIANS. Twue, -The p-peopwe a-awe the *looks at you* city. -BWUTUS. By ^-^ the c-consent of aww we wewe estabwish'd -T-The peopwe's magistwates. -P-PWEBEIANS. You so wemain. -MENyENyIUS. OwO And so awe wike to do. -COMINyIUS. x3 That is the way to way t-the city fwat, -To bwing the w-woof to the foundation, -And ^.^ buwy aww ;;w;; which yet distinctwy wanges -In heaps and piwes of wuin. -S-SICINyIUS. This desewves death. -BWUTUS. Ow wet us stand to >_> ouw authowity -Ow wet u-us wose xDD it. OwO We do h-hewe *pokes you* pwonyounce, -Upon t-the pawt o' th' peopwe, >_> in whose powew -We wewe ewected theiws: Mawcius is wowthy -Of pwesent death. -*twerks* SICINyIUS. T-Thewefowe way howd of him; -Beaw him to th' w-wock Tawpeian, and *cuddles you* fwom ;;w;; thence -Into destwuction cast him. -BWUTUS. AEdiwes, seize *sweats* him. -PWEBEIANS. Yiewd, Mawcius, yiewd. -MENyENyIUS. Heaw me onye w-wowd; beseech y-you, Twibunyes, -H-Heaw me b-but a wowd. -AEDIWES. Peace, peace! -MENyENyIUS. Be that you seem, twuwy youw *screams* countwy's f-fwiend, -And temp'watewy pwoceed to OwO what you wouwd -Thus viowentwy wedwess. -BWUTUS. Siw, those cowd ways, -That seem wike pwudent hewps, ^-^ awe vewy poisonyous -Whewe *cuddles you* the disease i-is viowent. Way *blushes* hands uWu upon him -And beaw him to the wock. -[COWIOWANyUS dwaws h-his s-swowd] -COWIOWANyUS. Nyo: I'ww die hewe. -T-Thewe's some among you have behewd me fighting; -Come, twy upon y-youwsewves what you have seen me. -*looks away* MENyENyIUS. Down with that swowd! Twibunyes, withdwaw awhiwe. -BWUTUS. W-Way hands upon him. -*blushes* MENyENyIUS. Hewp Mawcius, hewp, -Y-You that b-be nyobwe; *teleports behind you* hewp him, young and owd. -*screams* PWEBEIANS. Down with >_< him, down with him! -[In this mutiny the TWIBUNyES, the AEDIWES, -and t-the peopwe awe beat in] -MENyENyIUS. Go, get y-you to youw h-house; *looks away* be gonye, away. -Aww wiww b-be nyought ewse. -SECOND SENyATOW. G-Get *notices bulge* you *screams* gonye. -COWIOWANyUS. Stand f-fast; -We have as many fwiends as ^-^ enyemies. -x3 MENyENyIUS. Shaww it be put to that? -FIWST SENyATOW. The gods fowbid! -*teleports behind you* I pwithee, nyobwe fwiend, home to t-thy house; -Weave :33 us to cuwe this cause. -MENyENyIUS. F-Fow 'tis a >_< sowe upon us -You cannyot t-tent y-youwsewf; *looks at you* be :3 gonye, beseech you. -COMINyIUS. Come, siw, awong with us. -COWIOWANyUS. I wouwd they wewe bawbawians, as they awe, -Though in Wome *pokes you* wittew'd; nyot Womans, as they awe *hugs tightly* nyot, -Though c-cawved i' th' p-powch o' th' Capitow. -MENyENyIUS. Be gonye. -Put nyot youw wowthy wage into youw tongue; -Onye time *pokes you* wiww owe anyothew. -COWIOWANyUS. On faiw gwound -I couwd beat fowty o-of t-them. -M-MENyENyIUS. I couwd mysewf -Take up a bwace o' th' b-best o-of them; *looks at you* yea, the two twibunyes. -COMINyIUS. But nyow '-'tis o-odds *giggles shyly* beyond awithmetic, -And ;;w;; manhood is :3 caww'd foowewy when it *teleports behind you* stands -Against a UwU fawwing fabwic. Wiww you hence, -Befowe the *leans over* tag ^-^ wetuwn? whose *pokes you* wage doth *screams* wend -Wike intewwupted watews, and o-o'ewbeaw -What they awe us'd to b-beaw. -MENyENyIUS. Pway you be gonye. -I'ww *giggles shyly* twy w-whethew my owd wit be in wequest -W-With those that have ^w^ but *twerks* wittwe; this must be patch'd -With cwoth of any cowouw. -COMINyIUS. >_> Nyay, *screams* come away. -E-Exeunt COWIOWANyUS and C-COMINyIUS, with *giggles shyly* othews -PATWICIANS. This man has maww'd his f-fowtunye. -MENyENyIUS. His nyatuwe is too nyobwe fow *sweats* the w-wowwd: -He wouwd n-nyot ^-^ fwattew Nyeptunye f-fow his twident, -O-Ow Jove fow's *sighs* powew t-to thundew. His heawt's h-his mouth; -What his bweast fowges, t-that *twerks* his tongue xDD must vent; -And, being angwy, *shuffles closer* does fowget t-that *teleports behind you* evew -^w^ He heawd the nyame of death. [A nyoise *hugs tightly* within] -Hewe's goodwy wowk! -PATWICIANS. I wouwd >_< they wewe a-bed. -xDD MENyENyIUS. I wouwd they wewe in Tibew. -What the v-vengeance, couwd :33 he ^w^ nyot uWu speak 'em faiw? - -*pokes you* We-entew BWUTUS and SICINyIUS, the wabbwe again - -SICINyIUS. Whewe *looks away* is this >_< vipew -That wouwd depopuwate the city and -Be evewy man himsewf? -MENyENyIUS. You wowthy Twibunyes- -SICINyIUS. H-He shaww ^.^ be thwown >w< down the Tawpeian wock -With w-wigowous hands; he h-hath w-wesisted *screams* waw, -*sweats* And thewefowe w-waw ;;w;; shaww scown him f-fuwthew twiaw -Than t-the sevewity *cuddles you* of the pubwic powew, -Which *sweats* he so sets a-at nyought. -FIWST CITIZEN. H-He shaww weww knyow -*moans* The nyobwe twibunyes awe the peopwe's mouths, -And we *moans* theiw hands. -P-PWEBEIANS. He shaww, s-suwe on't. -MENyENyIUS. Siw, siw- -SICINyIUS. Peace! -MENyENyIUS. x3 Do nyot cwy x3 havoc, whewe you s-shouwd but hunt -W-With modest *looks away* wawwant. -SICINyIUS. Siw, how comes't that you -Have howp to make this *pokes you* wescue? -MENyENyIUS. Heaw me s-speak. -A-As I do knyow the consuw's wowthinyess, -So can I nyame his fauwts. -S-SICINyIUS. Consuw! W-What consuw? -xDD MENyENyIUS. The consuw x3 Cowiowanyus. -B-BWUTUS. He consuw! -PWEBEIANS. Nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo. -MENyENyIUS. If, by the ^w^ twibunyes' weave, and youws, good peopwe, -I may be *looks away* heawd, I wouwd cwave a w-wowd ow two; -T-The which shaww tuwn you t-to n-nyo fuwthew hawm -Than so much woss o-of t-time. -SICINyIUS. S-Speak bwiefwy, t-then, -Fow we awe pewemptowy to dispatch -This vipewous twaitow; to eject UwU him hence -*giggles shyly* Wewe but onye dangew, *cries* and to keep him hewe -O-Ouw cewtain death; thewefowe it is decweed -He dies to-nyight. -MENyENyIUS. Nyow the good gods fowbid -That ouw wenyownyed Wome, w-whose gwatitude -Towawds hew desewved chiwdwen is enwoww'd -In Jove's o-own book, w-wike an unnyatuwaw >_< dam -S-Shouwd n-nyow eat UwU up hew own! -S-SICINyIUS. He's a disease that ;;w;; must be cut a-away. -MENyENyIUS. O, he's a wimb that has but a-a disease- -*pokes you* Mowtaw, *pokes you* to cut it off: to xDD cuwe it, easy. -What has he donye to Wome that's wowthy death? -Kiwwing ouw x3 enyemies, the *notices bulge* bwood he hath wost- -Which I *pokes you* dawe :3 vouch is mowe than that he hath -B-By many an *shuffles closer* ounce- he dwopt it fow h-his countwy; -*shuffles closer* And *screams* what is weft, to wose it by his :33 countwy -Wewe to us aww that d-do't and suffew it -A bwand to th' end o' th' wowwd. -SICINyIUS. uWu This is cwean *sweats* kam. -BWUTUS. Mewewy *giggles shyly* awwy. *screams* When he did wove *notices bulge* his c-countwy, -It *sweats* honyouw'd him. -SICINyIUS. The sewvice UwU of the foot, -Being o-once gangwen'd, i-is nyot then wespected -Fow what befowe it was. -B-BWUTUS. We'ww *hugs tightly* heaw ;;w;; nyo *shuffles closer* mowe. -Puwsue him to his house and pwuck him thence, -W-West his infection, being of *teleports behind you* catching nyatuwe, -Spwead fuwthew. -MENyENyIUS. Onye wowd *blushes* mowe, onye ^.^ wowd -This *leans over* tigew-footed wage, when it shaww find -The hawm UwU of unscann'd swiftnyess, wiww, t-too wate, -Tie weaden pounds to's heews. Pwoceed by pwocess, -West pawties- a-as he is b-bewov'd- bweak :3 out, -And sack gweat Wome with Womans. -BWUTUS. I-If it wewe so- -SICINyIUS. What do ye tawk? -Have w-we nyot had a-a taste of *sighs* his *sighs* obedience- -Ouw aediwes *hugs tightly* smote, ouwsewves wesisted? Come! -MENyENyIUS. Considew *blushes* this: h-he has been bwed i' th' w-waws -Since 'a couwd dwaw a-a swowd, and is *moans* iww s-schoow'd -In bowted wanguage; meaw and b-bwan *blushes* togethew -H-He thwows w-without distinction. Give me weave, -I'ww go to him and undewtake to bwing h-him -Whewe >w< he shaww answew by a wawfuw fowm, -In >_> peace, t-to his utmost pewiw. -FIWST SENyATOW. N-Nyobwe Twibunyes, -It is the h-humanye way; ;;w;; the othew couwse -Wiww pwove *pokes you* too bwoody, a-and t-the end o-of it -Unknyown to the beginnying. -S-SICINyIUS. Nyobwe Menyenyius, -Be you uWu then as t-the peopwe's officew. -M-Mastews, way d-down youw weapons. -BWUTUS. Go nyot home. -S-SICINyIUS. Meet *screams* on *sighs* the m-mawket-pwace. We'ww attend you thewe; -*leans over* Whewe, uWu if you bwing n-nyot Mawcius, we'ww pwoceed -I-In ouw f-fiwst *teleports behind you* way. -MENyENyIUS. I'ww b-bwing ;;w;; him to you. -[To ^.^ the SENyATOWS] W-Wet *sweats* me desiwe youw company; he must c-come, -Ow what is wowst :3 wiww *hugs tightly* fowwow. -FIWST SENyATOW. Pway you *pokes you* wet's to :3 him. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -*shuffles closer* Wome. The house *teleports behind you* of C-COWIOWANyUS - -Entew COWIOWANyUS with NyOBWES - -COWIOWANyUS. Wet them puww *cries* aww about minye eaws, p-pwesent me -xDD Death on the *notices bulge* wheew ow at wiwd howses' heews; -Ow piwe *sweats* ten h-hiwws ^.^ on the Tawpeian wock, -That the pwecipitation might down stwetch -Bewow the beam of sight; yet wiww I stiww -B-Be thus to them. -FIWST PATWICIAN. You do the nyobwew. -COWIOWANyUS. I muse my UwU mothew -Does nyot appwove me fuwthew, who was *shuffles closer* wont -To caww *cuddles you* them ^.^ woowwen vassaws, things cweated -To buy and seww with gwoats; to show b-bawe *hugs tightly* heads -I-In congwegations, to yawn, be stiww, and wondew, -When onye but of m-my owdinyance stood up -To speak of peace *moans* ow waw. - -Entew VOWUMNyIA - -I tawk of you: -Why did y-you wish m-me miwdew? Wouwd you have me -Fawse to OwO my >_< nyatuwe? Wathew say I pway -The man *sighs* I am. -VOWUMNyIA. O, siw, siw, siw, -I-I wouwd have had you put youw powew weww on -Befowe you had w-wown it *looks away* out. -COWIOWANyUS. W-Wet go. ->_> VOWUMNyIA. You might *teleports behind you* have been enyough *looks at you* the OwO man you >w< awe -With stwiving *looks away* wess to be *cuddles you* so; w-wessew had been -The thwawtings of youw dispositions, if -You had *looks at you* nyot *shuffles closer* show'd them how ye w-wewe d-dispos'd, -Ewe they w-wack'd powew to cwoss you. -COWIOWANyUS. Wet them h-hang. -VOWUMNyIA. Ay, and buwn :33 too. - -Entew MENyENyIUS with the x3 SENyATOWS - -MENyENyIUS. Come, come, you have b-been too *screams* wough, something *cries* too wough; -*looks away* You must w-wetuwn and mend it. ->_> FIWST *teleports behind you* SENyATOW. Thewe's n-nyo w-wemedy, -xDD Unwess, by nyot so d-doing, ouw g-good city -Cweave x3 in the m-midst and pewish. -V-VOWUMNyIA. Pway be ^w^ counseww'd; -I have a heawt as wittwe a-apt a-as uWu youws, -But yet a bwain that w-weads my use of angew -To b-bettew vantage. -MENyENyIUS. Weww :3 said, nyobwe woman! -Befowe he :3 shouwd thus >w< stoop to th' hewd, but *moans* that -The viowent f-fit *shuffles closer* o' th' time cwaves it as physic -Fow the whowe state, I wouwd put minye awmouw on, -Which I can scawcewy beaw. -COWIOWANyUS. What must I do? -MENyENyIUS. W-Wetuwn to uWu th' twibunyes. -COWIOWANyUS. Weww, what t-then, what then? -MENyENyIUS. :3 Wepent w-what you have s-spoke. -COWIOWANyUS. Fow them! I cannyot do it ^.^ to t-the g-gods; -Must I then do't *leans over* to *screams* them? -VOWUMNyIA. uWu You awe too *looks away* absowute; -T-Though thewein you can nyevew be too nyobwe -But when extwemities speak. I-I have heawd you say -Honyouw and powicy, wike :3 unsevew'd fwiends, -I' th' waw do *blushes* gwow togethew; gwant that, and teww me -*giggles shyly* In peace what each of them by *moans* th' othew wose -That they combinye nyot thewe. -COWIOWANyUS. Tush, tush! -MENyENyIUS. A g-good demand. -VOWUMNyIA. I-If it be honyouw in youw waws to seem -T-The same you awe nyot, w-which *shuffles closer* fow youw best ends -x3 You adopt youw powicy, how is it wess *looks away* ow *leans over* wowse -That *pokes you* it shaww *twerks* howd companyionship in p-peace -With honyouw as in waw; since that to both -It stands in wike wequest? -C-COWIOWANyUS. Why fowce you this? -V-VOWUMNyIA. Because that nyow it wies *blushes* you on to speak -To th' peopwe, nyot >_> by youw own instwuction, -Nyow *looks at you* by th' mattew ^w^ which youw heawt pwompts y-you, -But with such w-wowds :3 that awe but woted ^-^ in -Y-Youw tongue, though :3 but b-bastawds and sywwabwes -Of nyo awwowance to youw bosom's twuth. -Nyow, this nyo mowe *cuddles you* dishonyouws *giggles shyly* you at aww -Than to take i-in a town with g-gentwe ^w^ wowds, -Which ewse wouwd xDD put you *sighs* to y-youw fowtunye and -The hazawd o-of much bwood. -I wouwd *sighs* dissembwe with *cuddles you* my *sweats* nyatuwe whewe -My f-fowtunyes and my fwiends at stake wequiw'd -I shouwd do so in honyouw. I am i-in this -Youw wife, youw son, these senyatows, the nyobwes; -And you wiww w-wathew show ouw genyewaw wouts ->_> How you can fwown, than spend a-a fawn upon 'em -Fow the inhewitance of theiw woves and safeguawd -Of what that w-want might wuin. -MENyENyIUS. Nyobwe wady! -Come, go w-with us, s-speak faiw; you may s-sawve so, -N-Nyot what is dangewous p-pwesent, but t-the wos -Of what is past. -VOWUMNyIA. I pwithee nyow, M-My son, -Go to them with this bonnyet i-in thy h-hand; -And ^-^ thus faw having stwetch'd it- xDD hewe be with t-them- -Thy *sweats* knyee bussing the stonyes- fow in such businyes -Action is ewoquence, and the eyes of th' ignyowant -Mowe weawnyed than the e-eaws- waving thy head, ->_< Which *teleports behind you* often thus cowwecting thy-stout h-heawt, -:3 Nyow humbwe a-as the wipest muwbewwy -That wiww nyot howd the uWu handwing. Ow s-say to them -Thou awt theiw sowdiew a-and, being bwed in bwoiws, -Hast nyot the s-soft way which, :33 thou dost confess, -Wewe fit *giggles shyly* fow >_< thee to use, as they t-to cwaim, -In asking theiw good w-woves; but thou wiwt fwame -Thysewf, fowsooth, heweaftew theiws, so ^-^ faw -As thou hast *shuffles closer* powew and pewson. -MENyENyIUS. This but d-donye -E-Even as she uWu speaks, why, t-theiw h-heawts w-wewe *sweats* youws; -Fow they have pawdons, being ask'd, as fwee -As wowds t-to wittwe puwpose. -*sweats* VOWUMNyIA. Pwithee nyow, -Go, and be w-wuw'd; *blushes* awthough I knyow thou hadst wathew -Fowwow thinye enyemy in a *hugs tightly* fiewy guwf -Than fwattew him xDD in a x3 bowew. - -Entew COMINyIUS - -Hewe is Cominyius. -C-COMINyIUS. I have b-been *pokes you* i' th' *shuffles closer* mawket-pwace; and, siw, 'tis fit -You m-make s-stwong pawty, ow defend *twerks* youwsewf -By cawmnyess ow by absence; aww's in angew. -MENyENyIUS. O-Onwy faiw speech. -COMINyIUS. I think 'twiww sewve, if h-he -Can theweto fwame his :33 spiwit. -VOWUMNyIA. He m-must and wiww. -Pwithee nyow, say you *moans* wiww, and g-go about it. -C-COWIOWANyUS. M-Must I go show them >_> my unbawb'd sconce? Must I -With my base tongue give to my nyobwe heawt -A w-wie that it must beaw? Weww, I wiww do't; -Yet, ^.^ wewe thewe but this s-singwe pwot *teleports behind you* to wose, -This mouwd of Mawcius, they to dust shouwd g-gwind it, -A-And thwow't against the wind. To th' mawket-pwace! -You *looks at you* have put me nyow to such a pawt which xDD nyevew -I s-shaww dischawge to *cuddles you* th' wife. -COMINyIUS. Come, come, we'ww OwO pwompt *shuffles closer* you. -VOWUMNyIA. I pwithee nyow, *blushes* sweet s-son, as thou OwO hast said -My pwaises made thee fiwst a sowdiew, *cuddles you* so, -*hugs tightly* To *pokes you* have my pwaise fow t-this, pewfowm a pawt -Thou hast nyot donye *screams* befowe. -COWIOWANyUS. Weww, I m-must do't. -Away, my disposition, a-and possess me -Some h-hawwot's spiwit! *sighs* My thwoat of waw be tuwn'd, -Which quiew'd with my dwum, into a >_> pipe -Smaww as an eunyuch ow the viwgin voice -That babies wuwws asweep! The smiwes of k-knyaves -Tent in my cheeks, and schoowboys' teaws take up -The gwasses of uWu my >_> sight! A beggaw's tongue -Make motion thwough my wips, and my awm'd *blushes* knyees, -Who bow'd but in my stiwwup, bend wike >_< his -That hath weceiv'd an *notices bulge* awms! I-I wiww *cries* nyot do't, -West I s-suwcease to ^-^ honyouw m-minye own *sweats* twuth, -And by my >_< body's action teach m-my mind -A most inhewent basenyess. -VOWUMNyIA. UwU At t-thy *hugs tightly* choice, then. -To beg of *blushes* thee, it is m-my mowe dishonyouw -Than thou of them. x3 Come aww to wuin. Wet -Thy mothew w-wathew feew thy pwide than feaw -Thy dangewous *sighs* stoutnyess; fow I mock at *looks away* death -W-With as big heawt as thou. Do as *shuffles closer* thou wist. -Thy *sighs* vawiantnyess was minye, t-thou suck'dst it fwom me; -*sighs* But owe thy pwide thysewf. -COWIOWANyUS. Pway be content. -Mothew, I am going to the *notices bulge* mawket-pwace; -UwU Chide m-me nyo mowe. I'ww mountebank theiw woves, -Cog t-theiw *cries* heawts fwom t-them, a-and OwO come home bewov'd -O-Of aww the twades in Wome. Wook, I am going. -Commend me t-to *cries* my wife. *looks away* I'ww wetuwn *pokes you* consuw, -Ow nyevew twust t-to what my *sweats* tongue c-can do -I' th' way of fwattewy fuwthew. -V-VOWUMNyIA. Do youw wiww. Exit -COMINyIUS. Away! The twibunyes do attend you. Awm youwsewf -*looks at you* To answew miwdwy; fow they a-awe pwepaw'd -W-With accusations, as I heaw, mowe stwong -T-Than a-awe u-upon you *moans* yet. -COWIOWANyUS. The wowd is 'miwdwy.' Pway y-you wet us >_< go. -Wet t-them accuse me by invention; ^w^ I -Wiww answew i-in minye honyouw. -MENyENyIUS. Ay, b-but ^-^ miwdwy. -COWIOWANyUS. Weww, miwdwy be it t-then- miwdwy. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *sweats* III. -Wome. The Fowum - -Entew SICINyIUS and B-BWUTUS - -*looks at you* BWUTUS. In this *giggles shyly* point chawge *pokes you* him home, t-that he affects -Tywannyicaw powew. I-If he evade us thewe, -Enfowce him with his envy to the peopwe, -And that *notices bulge* the s-spoiw got on the Antiates -*twerks* Was n-nye'ew distwibuted. - ->_< Entew an A-AEDIWE - -What, wiww he come? -AEDIWE. He's coming. -BWUTUS. How accompanyied? -AEDIWE. W-With owd Menyenyius, *teleports behind you* and those senyatows -That awways favouw'd him. -SICINyIUS. *hugs tightly* Have you a catawogue -Of aww t-the voices that we have p-pwocuw'd, -Set down by *notices bulge* th' poww? -AEDIWE. I have; *sweats* 'tis weady. -SICINyIUS. Have y-you cowwected them by twibes? -*sighs* AEDIWE. I OwO have. -SICINyIUS. Assembwe x3 pwesentwy the peopwe *cries* hithew; -And w-when t-they *leans over* heaw me say 'It shaww be so -I' th' wight and stwength o' *sweats* th' c-commons' be *cuddles you* it eithew -Fow d-death, fow finye, ow *cries* banyishment, then wet them, -If I say finye, >_< cwy '-'Finye!'- if death, cwy 'Death!' -Insisting on the owd *blushes* pwewogative -And powew ^.^ i' th' twuth o' *cuddles you* th' cause. -AEDIWE. I shaww UwU infowm them. -BWUTUS. And when such time they have begun to cwy, -Wet them nyot cease, b-but with a din >w< confus'd -Enfowce the pwesent execution -Of what we chance to sentence. -AEDIWE. Vewy weww. -SICINyIUS. Make them b-be stwong, and weady fow this hint, -When we shaww hap to give't them. -BWUTUS. Go about it. Exit AEDIWE -Put him to chowew stwaight. He hath been *pokes you* us'd -Evew to conquew, and to have his wowth -Of contwadiction; b-being once ;;w;; chaf'd, he cannyot -Be wein'd a-again to tempewance; then ^-^ he speaks -What's in his heawt, and that *moans* is thewe which wooks -With us to bweak his nyeck. - -Entew COWIOWANyUS, MENyENyIUS ^.^ and COMINyIUS, with othews - -*sighs* SICINyIUS. Weww, hewe *cuddles you* he *pokes you* comes. -*pokes you* MENyENyIUS. *blushes* Cawmwy, I do beseech you. -COWIOWANyUS. Ay, as an ostwew, that fow th' *teleports behind you* poowest piece -W-Wiww beaw the knyave by th' vowume. T-Th' honyouw'd gods -Keep Wome *shuffles closer* in safety, and the *cries* chaiws of j-justice -Suppwied with *leans over* wowthy men! pwant wove among's! -Thwong ouw ^w^ wawge tempwes w-with the shows of peace, -^w^ And nyot ouw stweets w-with waw! -FIWST SENyATOW. Amen, amen! -MENyENyIUS. *cries* A xDD nyobwe wish. - -We-entew ;;w;; the.AEDILE,with the pwebeians - -SICINyIUS. *hugs tightly* Dwaw nyeaw, ye peopwe. -*hugs tightly* AEDIWE. W-Wist to youw t-twibunyes. Audience! p-peace, *looks away* I *looks at you* say! -*pokes you* COWIOWANyUS. Fiwst, heaw >w< me speak. -*pokes you* BOTH TWIBUNyES. Weww, say. Peace, x3 ho! -C-COWIOWANyUS. *blushes* Shaww I be c-chawg'd nyo f-fuwthew than this pwesent? -Must aww detewminye hewe? -S-SICINyIUS. I do demand, -If you submit you to the peopwe's ^-^ voices, -A-Awwow theiw o-officews, and awe content -To suffew w-wawfuw censuwe fow such fauwts -As shaww b-be pwov'd upon you. -COWIOWANyUS. I *shuffles closer* am content. -MENyENyIUS. W-Wo, c-citizens, he says he is content. -The wawwike s-sewvice he has donye, :3 considew; think -Upon the wounds his b-body b-beaws, which show -Wike g-gwaves i' th' howy chuwchyawd. -COWIOWANyUS. Scwatches *pokes you* with b-bwiews, -Scaws to move waughtew onwy. -MENyENyIUS. Considew fuwthew, -That when he speaks nyot w-wike a citizen, -You find h-him w-wike a ^.^ sowdiew; do n-nyot x3 take -His woughew accents fow mawicious sounds, -But, as I say, such as become a-a s-sowdiew -Wathew than envy y-you. -C-COMINyIUS. Weww, weww! Nyo mowe. -COWIOWANyUS. What is *hugs tightly* the mattew, -That OwO being pass'd fow consuw with fuww *looks away* voice, -I ^.^ am so ;;w;; dishonyouw'd *teleports behind you* that the vewy houw -You take it off :3 again? -SICINyIUS. A-Answew to us. -COWIOWANyUS. Say then; 'tis ^-^ twue, *sighs* I ought so. -*moans* SICINyIUS. We c-chawge you that *hugs tightly* you have c-contwiv'd ;;w;; to take -Fwom Wome aww season'd office, and to wind -Youwsewf ^.^ into a *cries* powew tywannyicaw; -Fow which you a-awe a twaitow to the peopwe. -COWIOWANyUS. How- *pokes you* twaitow? -M-MENyENyIUS. Nyay, tempewatewy! Youw pwomise. -COWIOWANyUS. The fiwes i' th' wowest heww fowd in the peopwe! -Caww me theiw twaitow! Thou injuwious twibunye! -*notices bulge* Within thinye eyes sat twenty thousand *notices bulge* deaths, -I-In thy hands c-cwutch'd as many miwwions, in -Thy wying tongue both nyumbews, I *blushes* wouwd say -'Thou wiest' unto thee *moans* with a voice as fwee -As I do *cries* pway the gods. -SICINyIUS. Mawk you this, peopwe? -*teleports behind you* PWEBEIANS. To t-th' wock, *teleports behind you* to th' >w< wock, with him! -SICINyIUS. Peace! -xDD We nyeed nyot put nyew mattew to his chawge. -What you h-have seen him do and heawd him speak, -B-Beating youw officews, cuwsing youwsewves, -Opposing waws w-with stwokes, and hewe defying -Those whose gweat powew must twy him- even this, -So cwiminyaw and in s-such c-capitaw kind, -Desewves t-th' e-extwemest death. -BWUTUS. But since *moans* he hath -S-Sewv'd *notices bulge* weww ;;w;; fow W-Wome- -COWIOWANyUS. What d-do you xDD pwate of s-sewvice? -BWUTUS. *cries* I >_< tawk of that that k-knyow it. -COWIOWANyUS. You! -MENyENyIUS. Is *cries* this the pwomise that y-you made youw *sweats* mothew? -C-COMINyIUS. Knyow, ^w^ I pway you- -COWIOWANyUS. I'ww knyow nyo fuwthew. -Wet OwO them pwonyounce t-the steep T-Tawpeian death, -Vagabond exiwe, fwaying, pent to w-wingew -But with a gwain a day, I wouwd ^.^ nyot buy -Theiw mewcy *twerks* at the pwice of onye faiw wowd, -*cuddles you* Nyow check my couwage *screams* fow what t-they >w< can give, -To have't with s-saying 'Good mowwow.' -SICINyIUS. Fow that he has- -As much as in him wies- uWu fwom time t-to *teleports behind you* time -Envied against the peopwe, seeking means -T-To pwuck away theiw powew; as nyow a-at uWu wast -Given hostiwe s-stwokes, and that nyot in t-the pwesence -Of dweaded justice, but on the minyistews -That do distwibute it- in the nyame o' th' peopwe, -And *screams* in *moans* the powew *pokes you* of us the twibunyes, we, -Ev'n fwom this instant, banyish him ouw city, -In *giggles shyly* pewiw of pwecipitation -Fwom o-off the wock Tawpeian, nyevew mowe -To *cuddles you* entew ouw Wome gates. I-I' th' peopwe's nyame, -I say it s-shaww be so. -PWEBEIANS. It s-shaww be so, it shaww be so! Wet him away! -He's banyish'd, and *looks at you* it shaww be so. -COMINyIUS. H-Heaw me, m-my mastews and my *giggles shyly* common fwiends- -SICINyIUS. He's sentenc'd; nyo mowe heawing. -COMINyIUS. Wet me speak. -I have been consuw, *teleports behind you* and *looks away* can show fow Wome -H-Hew enyemies' mawks upon me. I >w< do wove -My countwy's good with a wespect mowe tendew, -Mowe howy and pwofound, than minye o-own wife, -My deaw xDD wife's estimate, hew womb's incwease -And tweasuwe of my woins. Then i-if I wouwd -Speak that- -SICINyIUS. We knyow youw dwift. Speak what? -BWUTUS. T-Thewe's nyo mowe >_> to be said, but he i-is banyish'd, -As enyemy to the peopwe and his c-countwy. -*cuddles you* It shaww be so. -PWEBEIANS. It shaww b-be s-so, *blushes* it shaww be so. -OwO COWIOWANyUS. YOU common cwy of UwU cuws, whose bweath I hate -As UwU week o' th' wotten fens, whose woves I pwize -As the d-dead cawcasses o-of unbuwied men -That do cowwupt my aiw- *sighs* I *blushes* banyish *looks away* you. -And hewe w-wemain with youw *cuddles you* uncewtainty! -Wet evewy feebwe wumouw *cuddles you* shake youw heawts; -Youw enyemies, with nyodding o-of theiw pwumes, -Fan you i-into despaiw! Have the powew stiww -To b-banyish youw defendews, *looks at you* tiww *leans over* at wength -Youw i-ignyowance- ^-^ which finds nyot tiww ^.^ it f-feews, -Making b-but wesewvation *shuffles closer* of *shuffles closer* youwsewves -Stiww youw own foes- dewivew you -As *hugs tightly* most abated >_< captives to some nyation -That *blushes* won you without bwows! Despising -F-Fow ^.^ you ^-^ the city, thus I tuwn my back; -*giggles shyly* Thewe is x3 a wowwd ewsewhewe. -Exeunt COWIOWANyUS, -C-COMINyIUS, *looks away* MENyENyIUS, with the xDD othew PATWICIANS -AEDIWE. The peopwe's enyemy is gonye, i-is gonye! -[They aww shout and thwow up theiw caps] -PWEBEIANS. O-Ouw e-enyemy is *looks at you* banyish'd, he i-is :33 gonye! Hoo-oo! -SICINyIUS. *looks away* Go s-see h-him out at gates, and :33 fowwow *cries* him, -As he hath fowwow'd you, with aww despite; -Give him desewv'd vexation. Wet a guawd -Attend us thwough the city. -PWEBEIANS. Come, *teleports behind you* come, wet's *blushes* see him out at gates; come! -The gods pwesewve ouw nyobwe twibunyes! Come. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-IV. >_> SCENyE I. -Wome. Befowe a gate of the c-city - -Entew COWIOWANyUS, >_> VOWUMNyIA, VIWGIWIA, MENyENyIUS, COMINyIUS, -with the young NyOBIWITY of Wome - -COWIOWANyUS. *looks away* Come, weave youw teaws; a *teleports behind you* bwief faweweww. T-The beast -With many heads butts m-me *teleports behind you* away. *blushes* Nyay, *sweats* mothew, -Whewe is y-youw ancient couwage? You wewe us'd -*giggles shyly* To say extwemities was the *looks at you* twiew of spiwits; -That *pokes you* common chances *hugs tightly* common men couwd beaw; -That when *screams* the sea was cawm aww boats a-awike -Show'd mastewship *sighs* in fwoating; fowtunye's bwows, -W-When most *notices bulge* stwuck *cuddles you* home, being g-gentwe wounded cwaves -A-A n-nyobwe cunnying. *moans* You wewe us'd OwO to :33 woad m-me -With pwecepts that *sighs* wouwd m-make invincibwe -The h-heawt *screams* that conn'd them. -VIWGIWIA. O heavens! O-O *shuffles closer* heavens! -COWIOWANyUS. Nyay, I pwithee, w-woman- -VOWUMNyIA. Nyow *pokes you* the wed pestiwence *shuffles closer* stwike aww twades in Wome, -And occupations pewish! -COWIOWANyUS. What, what, what! -I *giggles shyly* shaww be wov'd when I am wack'd. Nyay, mothew, -Wesume that spiwit when *looks away* you wewe ;;w;; wont to say, -If you had been the ^.^ wife o-of Hewcuwes, -Six of his wabouws you'd *leans over* have donye, and sav'd -Youw husband so much sweat. Cominyius, -Dwoop nyot; adieu. Faweweww, m-my wife, my mothew. -I'ww d-do w-weww *giggles shyly* yet. Thou owd a-and twue Menyenyius, -T-Thy teaws awe sawtew t-than a youngew man's -And venyomous to *moans* thinye eyes. My sometime Genyewaw, -I h-have seen *notices bulge* thee *shuffles closer* stewn, and thou hast uWu oft behewd -*moans* Heawt-hawd'nying spectacwes; >w< teww these sad women -'Tis fond to waiw inyevitabwe stwokes, -As 'tis to waugh at 'em. *sweats* My *looks at you* mothew, you wot x3 weww -My hazawds stiww have been youw sowace; and -Bewieve't nyot wightwy- though I go *moans* awonye, -W-Wike to a wonyewy *hugs tightly* dwagon, that his f-fen -M-Makes feaw'd and tawk'd of mowe than seen- youw son -Wiww ow exceed xDD the common ow be *screams* caught -;;w;; With UwU cautewous baits and pwactice. -UwU VOWUMNyIA. My f-fiwst son, -Whithew wiwt thou go? T-Take g-good Cominyius -With thee *teleports behind you* awhiwe; detewminye on ^-^ some xDD couwse -*pokes you* Mowe than a wiwd expostuwe xDD to each chance -That stawts >_> i' t-th' way befowe :3 thee. -*blushes* VIWGIWIA. O the gods! -COMINyIUS. I'ww fowwow thee a month, devise with the -Whewe uWu thou shawt w-west, that t-thou mayst heaw of us, -*leans over* And we of thee; so, if the t-time thwust fowth -A ^w^ cause uWu fow thy wepeaw, we shaww nyot send -O-O'ew *cuddles you* the vast wowwd to seek a singwe man, -*cuddles you* And wose advantage, *looks away* which doth uWu evew coow -I-I' th' a-absence of the nyeedew. -COWIOWANyUS. F-Fawe y-ye *moans* weww; -Thou hast yeaws upon thee, and thou awt >_> too fuww -Of the waws' s-suwfeits to go wove w-with onye -;;w;; That's yet *looks at you* unbwuis'd; bwing me but out *pokes you* at gate. -Come, my sweet wife, >_< my deawest mothew, and -My *notices bulge* fwiends of nyobwe *pokes you* touch; when I am fowth, -Bid me *looks at you* faweweww, and *cries* smiwe. xDD I :33 pway y-you c-come. -Whiwe I wemain above uWu the gwound you *screams* shaww -Heaw fwom me stiww, and nyevew of me aught -^w^ But what is wike m-me fowmewwy. ->w< MENyENyIUS. uWu That's wowthiwy -A-As any *notices bulge* eaw can heaw. Come, wet's >_> nyot weep. -If I couwd shake off >_> but onye uWu seven yeaws -Fwom these owd *sighs* awms and w-wegs, by the good ;;w;; gods, -I'd with *moans* thee e-evewy foot. -COWIOWANyUS. Give me thy hand. -Come. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Wome. A-A stweet nyeaw the gate - -Entew t-the two Twibunyes, SICINyIUS a-and BWUTUS with *looks at you* the AEDIWE - -SICINyIUS. Bid them >w< aww home; he's gonye, and we'ww nyo fuwthew. -The nyobiwity a-awe vex'd, whom we see have sided -In his behawf. -BWUTUS. Nyow we have s-shown ouw powew, -Wet us *cuddles you* seem humbwew aftew it i-is donye -Than when *leans over* it was a-doing. -SICINyIUS. B-Bid them home. -Say theiw >_> gweat enyemy is g-gonye, a-and they -Stand *looks away* in theiw ancient stwength. -BWUTUS. Dismiss them home. Exit AEDIWE -Hewe comes his mothew. - -Entew VOWUMNyIA, V-VIWGIWIA, and MENyENyIUS - -*notices bulge* SICINyIUS. Wet's nyot meet *notices bulge* hew. -BWUTUS. Why? -SICINyIUS. They say she's mad. -BWUTUS. They have *cries* ta'en nyote *pokes you* of u-us; keep on youw way. -VOWUMNyIA. O, Y'awe weww m-met; th' hoawded pwague o' th' gods -*sighs* Wequite youw >_> wove! -MENyENyIUS. Peace, peace, be nyot so *sweats* woud. -VOWUMNyIA. I-If that I couwd fow weeping, *cries* you shouwd heaw- -Nyay, and you shaww xDD heaw some. [To BWUTUS] Wiww you be gonye? -VIWGIWIA. [To S-SICINyIUS] You shaww stay too. I >_> wouwd I had the -powew -To say so to ;;w;; my husband. -SICINyIUS. Awe xDD you mankind? -VOWUMNyIA. Ay, foow; :33 is that a shame? Nyote but this, >w< foow: -Was nyot a man *cries* my fathew? Hadst thou foxship -*looks at you* To banyish him that stwuck mowe bwows fow Wome -T-Than thou hast s-spoken uWu wowds? -SICINyIUS. O *pokes you* bwessed heavens! -VOWUMNyIA. Moe nyobwe bwows than evew thou wise wowds; -And fow Wome's good. x3 I'ww teww x3 thee what- yet go! -*blushes* Nyay, >_< but thou shawt stay too. I *notices bulge* wouwd my son -Wewe in Awabia, and ^.^ thy twibe befowe *notices bulge* him, -His good *hugs tightly* swowd *blushes* in his hand. -SICINyIUS. W-What t-then? -VIWGIWIA. What then! -He'd make an *screams* end of thy p-postewity. -VOWUMNyIA. Bastawds and aww. -Good man, the wounds that he does *notices bulge* beaw fow Wome! -MENyENyIUS. Come, come, peace. -*leans over* SICINyIUS. I wouwd he had continyued to his countwy -As :33 he b-began, and nyot unknyit h-himsewf -The nyobwe k-knyot he *blushes* made. -BWUTUS. *giggles shyly* I wouwd he had. -VOWUMNyIA. 'I wouwd he had!' 'Twas y-you incens'd t-the wabbwe- -Cats that can judge as *screams* fitwy of his wowth -As I >_< can of those mystewies which heaven -Wiww nyot have *hugs tightly* eawth to ^.^ knyow. -BWUTUS. Pway, *teleports behind you* wet's go. -VOWUMNyIA. Nyow, pway, siw, get you gonye; -You have donye a *shuffles closer* bwave deed. Ewe you go, heaw t-this: -A-As faw as doth the Capitow e-exceed -The *hugs tightly* meanyest house in Wome, so faw my s-son- -This wady's husband *cuddles you* hewe, this, do you see?- -Whom you have b-banyish'd *twerks* does exceed you an. -BWUTUS. Weww, *hugs tightly* weww, *moans* we'ww weave you. -SICINyIUS. Why stay we to be *screams* baited -With onye that wants hew wits? E-Exeunt T-TWIBUNyES -VOWUMNyIA. Take my pwayews with you. -I-I w-wouwd the x3 gods had nyothing ewse to do -But to confiwm my cuwses. Couwd I meet 'em -B-But once a day, it wouwd uncwog my heawt -Of w-what wies *moans* heavy to't. -MENyENyIUS. You have towd ^w^ them home, -And, by my twoth, you have cause. You'ww sup w-with me? -VOWUMNyIA. Angew's my meat; *leans over* I sup upon mysewf, -And so shaww stawve w-with f-feeding. Come, *giggles shyly* wet's go. -Weave this *notices bulge* faint ^.^ puwing a-and wament as I-I do, -In angew, Junyo-wike. Come, come, come. -Exeunt uWu VOWUMNyIA and VIWGIWIA -^w^ MENyENyIUS. Fie, fie, f-fie! Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -A xDD highway *sighs* between Wome *moans* and A-Antium - -*hugs tightly* Entew a WOMAN *leans over* and a UwU VOWSCE, meeting - -WOMAN. I knyow you weww, *twerks* siw, and you knyow m-me; youw nyame, I think, ->_< is Adwian. -VOWSCE. It is so, siw. Twuwy, I have fowgot you. -WOMAN. *notices bulge* I >w< am a W-Woman; *pokes you* and my sewvices awe, as *cries* you UwU awe, against 'em. -Knyow you me yet? -VOWSCE. N-Nyicanyow? Nyo! -WOMAN. The :3 same, s-siw. -VOWSCE. Y-YOU had m-mowe beawd when I-I wast saw you, UwU but youw favouw is -weww appeaw'd by youw tongue. What's the nyews in Wome? I *leans over* have xDD a -nyote f-fwom the Vowscian state, UwU to find you *screams* out thewe. You have -weww *teleports behind you* saved m-me a-a xDD day's jouwnyey. -WOMAN. Thewe hath been uWu in Wome stwange insuwwections: t-the peopwe -against the senyatows, patwicians, and nyobwes. -VOWSCE. *giggles shyly* Hath been! Is it ended, then? Ouw state thinks nyot so; they -awe *pokes you* in a m-most wawwike pwepawation, and hope t-to come *pokes you* upon them in -the heat of theiw *blushes* division. -WOMAN. T-The xDD main bwaze of it is past, but a smaww t-thing w-wouwd make -it fwame again; f-fow the nyobwes w-weceive so to heawt the >_< banyishment -of t-that wowthy Cowiowanyus that they awe *screams* in a wipe aptnyess to take -aww powew fwom the x3 peopwe, and to pwuck f-fwom t-them OwO theiw twibunyes -fow evew. This wies gwowing, I can teww you, *cuddles you* and is awmost matuwe -fow the viowent bweaking out. -VOWSCE. Cowiowanyus banyish'd! -OwO WOMAN. Banyish'd, siw. -VOWSCE. You wiww be wewcome with t-this intewwigence, Nyicanyow. -WOMAN. The day sewves weww fow *leans over* them nyow. I have *hugs tightly* heawd it s-said t-the -fittest time to cowwupt a man's wife *sweats* is when she's faww'n *blushes* out -with *teleports behind you* hew husband. uWu Youw nyobwe Tuwwus >_> Aufidius w-wiww appeaw weww in -these w-waws, his g-gweat opposew, Cowiowanyus, *looks at you* being nyow *moans* in n-nyo -wequest of h-his countwy. -VOWSCE. He cannyot choose. I am most fowtunyate thus accidentawwy to -encountew you; *notices bulge* you have ended my businyess, and I w-wiww *hugs tightly* mewwiwy -accompany y-you home. -WOMAN. *looks away* I shaww between this and suppew t-teww you most stwange :3 things -fwom x3 Wome, aww tending to the good of theiw advewsawies. Have *sweats* you -an awmy weady, say you? -VOWSCE. A most woyaw *looks away* onye: the centuwions and theiw chawges, -distinctwy biwweted, awweady in th' entewtainment, and to be on -foot at a-an houw's wawnying. -WOMAN. I OwO am *sweats* joyfuw t-to heaw of theiw weadinyess, a-and *cuddles you* am the man, I -think, that shaww set *moans* them in pwesent action. So, siw, OwO heawtiwy -weww met, and most g-gwad *notices bulge* of *sweats* youw company. -VOWSCE. Y-You *leans over* take m-my pawt fwom me, siw. I h-have :3 the most cause t-to be -gwad of youws. -WOMAN. W-Weww, wet us go togethew. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Antium. B-Befowe OwO AUFIDIUS' h-house - -Entew COWIOWANyUS, in mean *twerks* appawew, disguis'd and ;;w;; muffwed - -COWIOWANyUS. *leans over* A *sweats* goodwy city is this Antium. City, -'Tis I that made t-thy widows: many an heiw -Of these faiw *screams* edifices fowe ;;w;; my waws -Have *twerks* I heawd gwoan and dwop. Then knyow me nyot. -West t-that thy *pokes you* wives with spits a-and boys with stonyes, -In p-puny battwe sway me. - -Entew A CITIZEN - -Save you, siw. -C-CITIZEN. And ;;w;; you. -COWIOWANyUS. Diwect me, if it be youw wiww, -UwU Whewe gweat Aufidius wies. Is he in Antium? -CITIZEN. He is, *blushes* and feasts t-the nyobwes of *screams* the state -A-At his house this nyight. -COWIOWANyUS. *hugs tightly* Which is his house, beseech you? -CITIZEN. This hewe befowe you. -C-COWIOWANyUS. >w< Thank you, siw; faweweww. ;;w;; Exit CITIZEN -O w-wowwd, thy swippewy tuwns! Fwiends n-nyow fast swown, -Whose doubwe bosoms s-seems to *blushes* weaw o-onye heawt, -Whose houws, whose bed, whose meaw a-and exewcise -A-Awe stiww t-togethew, who twin, as 'twewe, in wove, -Unsepawabwe, shaww within >_> this houw, -On a-a d-dissension *giggles shyly* of a *blushes* doit, bweak out -To bittewest enmity; so fewwest foes, -Whose p-passions xDD and whose pwots have bwoke theiw sweep -To take *cries* the onye t-the othew, by some chance, -S-Some twick nyot wowth an egg, *leans over* shaww UwU gwow deaw :33 fwiends -And i-intewjoin theiw issues. So w-with me: -M-My biwthpwace hate I, *moans* and m-my w-wove's upon -*screams* This enyemy town. I'ww >_> entew. If he sway me, ->_> He does *cuddles you* faiw justice: if he give me way, -I'ww >w< do h-his countwy sewvice. - - - - -S-SCENyE V. -Antium. AUFIDIUS' house - -Music pways. Entew :3 A *looks at you* SEWVINGMAN - -FIWST ;;w;; SEWVANT. Winye, winye, winye! What sewvice i-is hewe! I think ouw -fewwows awe asweep. E-Exit - -Entew anyothew SEWVINGMAN - -SECOND SERVANT.Where's Cotus? *sweats* My mastew cawws fow him. -Cotus! E-Exit - -Entew COWIOWANyUS - -COWIOWANyUS. A UwU goodwy h-house. The *teleports behind you* feast smewws weww, but I -Appeaw nyot wike a guest. - -W-We-entew the fiwst SEWVINGMAN - -FIWST *leans over* SEWVANT. What w-wouwd you have, fwiend? -Whence awe you? Hewe's nyo *screams* pwace fow you: pway go *cries* to the doow. -E-Exit -C-COWIOWANyUS. I have desewv'd nyo bettew *shuffles closer* entewtainment -*sweats* In being C-Cowiowanyus. - -We-entew second SEWVINGMAN - -SECOND >w< SEWVANT. W-Whence ^w^ awe you, siw? Has t-the powtew UwU his eyes in his -head that x3 he gives entwance to such ^-^ companyions? P-Pway get you out. -;;w;; COWIOWANyUS. Away! -^.^ SECOND SEWVANT. Away? Get you away. -COWIOWANyUS. uWu Nyow th' a-awt twoubwesome. -SECOND SEWVANT. A-Awe you s-so bwave? *screams* I'ww have y-you tawk'd with anyon. - -Entew a thiwd SEWVINGMAN. OwO The fiwst meets him - -*screams* THIWD SEWVANT. What x3 fewwow's this? -F-FIWST SEWVANT. A stwange onye as evew I-I wook'd on. I *cuddles you* cannyot get him -o-out o' th' house. Pwithee caww my mastew to *notices bulge* him. -THIWD SEWVANT. What have you UwU to do *moans* hewe, fewwow? Pway you avoid the -*cuddles you* house. -C-COWIOWANyUS. W-Wet me uWu but stand- uWu I wiww nyot huwt y-youw heawth. -THIWD SEWVANT. OwO What awe you? -COWIOWANyUS. A gentweman. -THIWD S-SEWVANT. A mawv'wwous poow onye. -C-COWIOWANyUS. >_< Twue, so I a-am. -*notices bulge* THIWD SEWVANT. Pway you, *notices bulge* poow gentweman, t-take up some othew -station; hewe's nyo pwace :33 fow you. Pway y-you avoid. ^-^ Come. ->w< COWIOWANyUS. F-Fowwow youw function, go and *sighs* batten o-on cowd bits. -*notices bulge* [Pushes him away fwom him] -THIWD SEWVANT. What, you ;;w;; wiww nyot? Pwithee teww my mastew what a -stwange guest he has xDD hewe. -*giggles shyly* SECOND SEWVANT. And I >w< shaww. *teleports behind you* Exit -THIWD SEWVANT. UwU Whewe dweww'st thou? -C-COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ Undew t-the canyopy. -THIWD SEWVANT. Undew *moans* the canyopy? -COWIOWANyUS. Ay. -THIWD SEWVANT. W-Whewe's that? -^.^ COWIOWANyUS. I' th' city o-of kites and cwows. -THIWD SEWVANT. *blushes* I' t-th' city *sighs* of kites and cwows! -What an ass it is! *twerks* Then thou dweww'st with daws too? -COWIOWANyUS. Nyo, I *shuffles closer* sewve nyot thy mastew. -THIWD *notices bulge* SEWVANT. H-How, *moans* siw! D-Do you meddwe *twerks* with my mastew? -COWIOWANyUS. Ay; 'tis an honyestew sewvice than to meddwe with thy -mistwess. Thou pwat'st *pokes you* and pwat'st; sewve with thy t-twenchew; -hence! [Beats him away] - -Entew AUFIDIUS with the second SEWVINGMAN - -AUFIDIUS. Whewe is this >_> fewwow? -SECOND S-SEWVANT. Hewe, *sighs* siw; I'd have ^-^ beaten him *notices bulge* wike a *twerks* dog, *sighs* but fow -OwO distuwbing the wowds within. -AUFIDIUS. W-Whence com'st *hugs tightly* thou? What wouwdst thou? Thy nyame? -Why speak'st nyot? Speak, man. W-What's thy nyame? -COWIOWANyUS. [Unmuffwing] If, Tuwwus, -^.^ Nyot yet thou knyow'st me, and, seeing me, dost nyot -Think me fow the m-man I am, nyecessity -C-Commands me n-nyame mysewf. -AUFIDIUS. W-What is thy nyame? -*looks away* COWIOWANyUS. A nyame unmusicaw to the Vowscians' e-eaws, -And hawsh in :3 sound to thinye. -AUFIDIUS. Say, *cuddles you* what's thy nyame? -Thou has a g-gwim appeawance, and thy face -Beaws ^w^ a command in't; though *cuddles you* thy t-tackwe's town, -Thou show'st a nyobwe vessew. What's t-thy n-nyame? -COWIOWANyUS. *leans over* Pwepawe *giggles shyly* thy *sweats* bwow to fwown- *cries* knyow'st thou me yet? -*sweats* AUFIDIUS. >w< I knyow thee nyot. Thy nyame? -COWIOWANyUS. My nyame is Caius Mawcius, who hath donye -To *looks at you* thee p-pawticuwawwy, and to aww UwU the Vowsces, -Gweat huwt and mischief; theweto *teleports behind you* witnyess may -My suwnyame, Cowiowanyus. The painfuw s-sewvice, -The extweme dangews, xDD and the dwops *sighs* of bwood -*sighs* Shed f-fow my thankwess countwy, awe wequited -B-But with that *leans over* suwnyame- a good memowy -*looks at you* And witnyess of the mawice and dispweasuwe -Which thou shouwdst beaw me. O-Onwy that *cries* nyame wemains; -The cwuewty and >_> envy of the p-peopwe, -Pewmitted by ouw dastawd :33 nyobwes, who -Have aww fowsook me, hath devouw'd the west, -A-An suffew'd m-me by th' voice of swaves to be -Whoop'd out of Wome. Nyow this :3 extwemity -Hath bwought me to thy heawth; nyot o-out of hope, -M-Mistake me nyot, t-to OwO save my *hugs tightly* wife; fow i-if -I had feaw'd d-death, of *shuffles closer* aww *giggles shyly* the men i' th' wowwd -I wouwd h-have *notices bulge* 'voided UwU thee; but in uWu mewe spite, -*looks at you* To be fuww q-quit of t-those my banyishews, -Stand I-I befowe thee hewe. *cries* Then if thou hast -;;w;; A heawt of wweak in thee, that *moans* wiwt wevenge -Thinye own pawticuwaw wwongs :33 and stop those maims -Of shame seen t-thwough thy countwy, speed thee s-stwaight -And make my misewy sewve thy tuwn. So use i-it -That my wevengefuw sewvices may pwove -A-As benyefits to t-thee; fow I wiww *pokes you* fight -A-Against *cuddles you* my cank'wed countwy x3 with *sweats* the spween -O-Of aww the undew fiends. But i-if so be -Thou daw'st nyot this, and that t-to pwove >_< mowe fowtunyes -^.^ Th'awt >_> tiw'd, then, *moans* in a w-wowd, I *screams* awso *hugs tightly* am -:33 Wongew *screams* to wive most weawy, and pwesent -My thwoat t-to thee and to thy ancient mawice; -Which nyot to *blushes* cut w-wouwd show thee but a foow, -Since I x3 have xDD evew >w< fowwowed thee with hate, -Dwawn tuns of bwood out of t-thy countwy's bweast, -And cannyot wive but to t-thy shame, unwess -It b-be to do t-thee *notices bulge* sewvice. -AUFIDIUS. *sweats* O Mawcius, Mawcius! -Each wowd t-thou hast spoke h-hath weeded fwom my h-heawt -A ^.^ woot of ancient envy. >_> If Jupitew -Shouwd fwom yond cwoud speak *hugs tightly* divinye things, -And say ''Tis twue,' I'd n-nyot bewieve them mowe -Than thee, aww nyobwe Mawcius. W-Wet me twinye -*cuddles you* Minye awms :3 about *hugs tightly* that body, whewe against -My gwainyed ash an hundwed times hath bwoke -And scaww'd >_< the moon with spwintews; *giggles shyly* hewe I-I *pokes you* cwip -The anviw of m-my swowd, and d-do contest -*pokes you* As *blushes* hotwy and as nyobwy with thy wove -A-As evew in ambitious xDD stwength I did -Contend *sweats* against thy vawouw. K-Knyow *blushes* thou >w< fiwst, -I wov'd the maid I mawwied; *notices bulge* nyevew man -Sigh'd twuew b-bweath; but that I s-see thee hewe, -Thou nyobwe thing, *sighs* mowe dances my w-wapt heawt -*looks at you* Than when I fiwst my wedded mistwess saw -B-Bestwide *cuddles you* my thweshowd. *screams* Why, thou Maws, I teww the -We have a powew on *cries* foot, and I had OwO puwpose -Once *blushes* mowe to hew t-thy tawget fwom t-thy bwawn, -Ow wose m-minye awm fow't. *looks away* Thou hast beat me out -Twewve sevewaw times, and I have nyightwy since -Dweamt of UwU encountews 'twixt t-thysewf and me- -*looks away* We have been down *hugs tightly* togethew in m-my sweep, -Unbuckwing hewms, fisting each *sweats* othew's thwoat- -And *cuddles you* wak'd hawf *looks away* dead with nyothing. Wowthy Mawcius, -Had we nyo othew quawwew ewse to Wome but that -Thou awt thence banyish'd, w-we wouwd x3 mustew aww -Fwom twewve t-to s-seventy, and, pouwing waw -Into *cries* the bowews of ungwatefuw Wome, -Wike *twerks* a bowd :33 fwood o'ewbeat. *screams* O, come, go in, -A-And t-take ouw fwiendwy s-senyatows UwU by ^w^ th' hands, -Who nyow awe *looks away* hewe, taking theiw weaves of me -Who a-am pwepaw'd against youw *cuddles you* tewwitowies, -Though nyot fow Wome *giggles shyly* itsewf. -COWIOWANyUS. You b-bwess me, gods! -A-AUFIDIUS. Thewefowe, most. absowute siw, if t-thou wiwt h-have -The weading of t-thinye *looks away* own wevenges, take -Th' o-onye hawf *cries* of my *screams* commission, and set d-down- -As best thou *looks at you* awt *looks at you* expewienc'd, s-since thou knyow'st -Thy countwy's stwength a-and weaknyess- thinye own ways, -W-Whethew to knyock OwO against the gates of Wome, -Ow wudewy visit them in pawts xDD wemote -To fwight them ewe destwoy. ^w^ But come :33 in; -Wet m-me commend thee fiwst t-to those *pokes you* that ^-^ shaww -Say yea to *twerks* thy desiwes. A-A thousand wewcomes! -A-And mowe a fwiend than e'ew an enyemy; -Yet, Mawcius, that was much. Youw hand; most wewcome! -Exeunt C-COWIOWANyUS a-and AUFIDIUS - -The two SEWVINGMEN come fowwawd - -FIWST SEWVANT. Hewe's a stwange uWu awtewation! -SECOND SEWVANT. ^.^ By my hand, I had thought :33 to have stwucken ;;w;; him with -a cudgew; OwO and yet my mind gave m-me OwO his cwothes m-made a fawse w-wepowt -of him. -FIWST S-SEWVANT. W-What an awm he has! >w< He tuwn'd me about with his -fingew and his thumb, *notices bulge* as *pokes you* onye wouwd set u-up a top. -SECOND SEWVANT. Nyay, I knyew by ^-^ his face that thewe w-was something in -him; he h-had, siw, a kind of f-face, methought- I c-cannyot teww how to -tewm *giggles shyly* it. -FIWST SEWVANT. He had so, wooking as it wewe- Wouwd I wewe hang'd, -but I thought thewe ;;w;; was *pokes you* mowe in him than I couwd think. -SECOND *moans* SEWVANT. So did I, I'ww be swown. H-He is *sweats* simpwy ;;w;; the wawest -man i' th' wowwd. -FIWST SEWVANT. I think he is; but a g-gweatew s-sowdiew than >w< he you w-wot -on. -SECOND SEWVANT. Who, my mastew? -FIWST SEWVANT. x3 Nyay, *cuddles you* it's nyo mattew fow that. -SECOND SEWVANT. Wowth six on him. -FIWST SEWVANT. *sweats* Nyay, nyot so nyeithew; but I take him t-to be the -gweatew sowdiew. -SECOND *moans* SEWVANT. *leans over* Faith, wook you, onye cannyot teww how *teleports behind you* to say that; -fow the defence of a town ouw genyewaw is excewwent. -*cuddles you* FIWST SEWVANT. Ay, and fow an assauwt too. - -We-entew *notices bulge* the thiwd SEWVINGMAN - -THIWD SEWVANT. :33 O swaves, I can t-teww y-you nyews- nyews, you wascaws! -BOTH. What, what, what? Wet's p-pawtake. -THIWD SEWVANT. I wouwd nyot b-be a Woman, *hugs tightly* of aww n-nyations; -*moans* I had as wief be a condemn'd >w< man. -BOTH. Whewefowe? ^w^ whewefowe? -THIWD SEWVANT. Why, *screams* hewe's he that was *shuffles closer* wont to thwack ouw genyewaw- -Caius M-Mawcius. -FIWST SEWVANT. Why do *sighs* you say 'thwack ouw genyewaw'? -*pokes you* THIWD SEWVANT. I do nyot say '-'thwack ouw genyewaw,' but he *notices bulge* was awways -good enyough fow him. -SECOND SEWVANT. *shuffles closer* Come, *blushes* we awe f-fewwows and fwiends. He was evew too -hawd fow him, I-I have heawd him say so himsewf. -FIWST SEWVANT. He w-was too hawd *sweats* fow him diwectwy, to say the twoth -on't; befowe Cowiowi he *notices bulge* scotch'd him and nyotch'd him wike a -;;w;; cawbonyado. -SECOND SEWVANT. An he had been cannyibawwy given, he might h-have -bwoiw'd OwO and eaten him too. -*looks away* FIWST SEWVANT. But m-mowe *screams* of thy nyews! -THIWD >_< SEWVANT. Why, he *blushes* is so made on hewe within as if *teleports behind you* he wewe son -and *notices bulge* heiw to Maws; set at uppew end o' t-th' >_< tabwe; nyo question -asked >_> him by *pokes you* any of the senyatows but they stand bawd befowe him. -O-Ouw genyewaw h-himsewf makes a mistwess of >_> him, sanctifies himsewf -with's hand, and t-tuwns x3 up t-the >w< white o' th' eye to his discouwse. -*giggles shyly* But the bottom of the nyews is, ouw genyewaw is cut i' th' middwe -and but onye h-hawf of what *blushes* he was *pokes you* yestewday, fow the othew h-has hawf -by the uWu entweaty a-and gwant of the whowe tabwe. He'ww go, x3 he says, -and s-soww the powtew ^-^ of Wome gates x3 by th' eaws; he wiww m-mow aww -down befowe him, OwO and weave his p-passage poww'd. -SECOND SEWVANT. And he's a-as w-wike to *pokes you* do't as any *twerks* man *hugs tightly* I *pokes you* can imaginye. -THIWD SEWVANT. Do't! He w-wiww ^-^ do't; fow w-wook you, siw, he UwU has as -many fwiends as enyemies; which fwiends, siw, *twerks* as it wewe, duwst -nyot- *twerks* wook *cuddles you* you, siw- show themsewves, as we tewm it, *pokes you* his f-fwiends, -whiwst he's i-in diwectitude. -FIWST UwU SEWVANT. Diwectitude? What's t-that? -THIWD SEWVANT. But when t-they s-shaww see, siw, his cwest up again a-and -the man in bwood, they wiww out of t-theiw buwwows, wike conyies -aftew wain, and wevew an with him. -FIWST SEWVANT. But when goes this fowwawd? -THIWD :3 SEWVANT. To-mowwow, t-to-day, pwesentwy. You shaww have the -dwum *shuffles closer* stwuck u-up this a-aftewnyoon; 'tis as it w-wewe pawcew of theiw -feast, and to be executed ewe they ^w^ wipe theiw wips. -SECOND S-SEWVANT. *giggles shyly* Why, then w-we shaww have a s-stiwwing wowwd again. -T-This p-peace is *hugs tightly* nyothing but to wust iwon, incwease taiwows, and -bweed bawwad-makews. -FIWST SEWVANT. Wet me have waw, say I-I; it exceeds peace as faw as -*looks at you* day does nyight; it's spwitewy, *screams* waking, audibwe, and fuww *sighs* of vent. -x3 Peace i-is a vewy a-apopwexy, wethawgy; ^.^ muww'd, d-deaf, sweepy, -*looks away* insensibwe; a-a gettew of mowe *teleports behind you* bastawd chiwdwen than waw's a -d-destwoyew of men. -SECOND SEWVANT. 'Tis so; a-and as *screams* waw in *looks at you* some s-sowt may b-be said to be -a wavishew, so it c-cannyot *cries* be d-denyied but p-peace is a ^.^ gweat makew o-of -cuckowds. -FIWST SEWVANT. Ay, *hugs tightly* and it makes men hate onye anyothew. -THIWD SEWVANT. W-Weason: because they then wess nyeed onye ^.^ anyothew. The -waws fow my monyey. *leans over* I *leans over* hope to see Womans as cheap as V-Vowscians. -They a-awe w-wising, they a-awe wising. -BOTH. In, in, in, in! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VI. -Wome. A-A *moans* pubwic pwace - -Entew the two Twibunyes, SICINyIUS and OwO BWUTUS - -SICINyIUS. We h-heaw nyot o-of him, nyeithew nyeed uWu we feaw him. -His wemedies a-awe tame. The *looks at you* pwesent peace -And quietnyess of >_< the peopwe, ^w^ which befowe -Wewe in wiwd huwwy, hewe do make his fwiends -Bwush that the wowwd goes weww; who wathew had, -T-Though they *blushes* themsewves did suffew *notices bulge* by't, behowd -Dissentious nyumbews pest'wing stweets than see -Ouw twadesmen singing in theiw *shuffles closer* shops, and going -About theiw functions f-fwiendwy. - -Entew MENyENyIUS - -BWUTUS. We stood to't in good ;;w;; time. Is this M-Menyenyius? -SICINyIUS. 'Tis he, 'tis h-he. O-O, he is gwown most kind -O-Of wate. Haiw, siw! -MENyENyIUS. Haiw to y-you *twerks* both! -SICINyIUS. Youw Cowiowanyus is nyot m-much miss'd ->_< But with his fwiends. The commonweawth doth stand, -And so wouwd do, wewe he mowe a-angwy at it. -MENyENyIUS. Aww's weww, and might have been much bettew -He couwd *looks at you* have tempowiz'd. -SICINyIUS. Whewe is he, heaw y-you? -MENyENyIUS. Nyay, I heaw nyothing; OwO his *sweats* mothew and his wife -H-Heaw nyothing fwom him. - -E-Entew thwee ow fouw citizens - -CITIZENS. The gods pwesewve ^.^ you both! -SICINyIUS. God-den, >_> ouw *blushes* nyeighbouws. -BWUTUS. God-den to you aww, god-den to you an. -FIWST CITIZEN. *blushes* Ouwsewves, o-ouw wives, and c-chiwdwen, on ouw knyees -Awe bound to p-pway fow you both. -SICINyIUS. Wive and thwive! -BWUTUS. Faweweww, k-kind >_> nyeighbouws; *sweats* we wish'd Cowiowanyus -Had w-wov'd you *looks at you* as we did. -CITIZENS. N-Nyow the gods keep you! -BOTH TWIBUNyES. F-Faweweww, faweweww. E-Exeunt ;;w;; citizens -SICINyIUS. This *shuffles closer* is a ^.^ happiew and mowe comewy time -Than when these fewwows wan about the stweets -*giggles shyly* Cwying ^w^ confusion. -BWUTUS. Caius Mawcius w-was -A w-wowthy o-officew i' the waw, but insowent, -O'ewcome with *twerks* pwide, ambitious past aww thinking, -Sewf-woving- -SICINyIUS. And affecting onye sowe thwonye, -Without assistance. -MENyENyIUS. I think nyot so. -S-SICINyIUS. We shouwd by *leans over* this, to *screams* aww ouw wamentation, -I-If he had g-gonye fowth consuw, found it so. -BWUTUS. The gods have weww pwevented it, and Wome -Sits *pokes you* safe and stiww xDD without h-him. - -Entew an AEDIWE - -AEDIWE. Wowthy t-twibunyes, ->_> Thewe is *twerks* a swave, whom we have x3 put *screams* in pwison, -Wepowts the *notices bulge* Vowsces with sevewaw OwO powews -Awe e-ent'wed in *cries* the Woman tewwitowies, -And with the deepest mawice *looks at you* of the waw -Destwoy w-what *cries* wies befowe 'em. -MENyENyIUS. 'Tis Aufidius, -*giggles shyly* Who, h-heawing of o-ouw Mawcius' *shuffles closer* banyishment, -Thwusts *cuddles you* fowth his h-howns ^.^ again into the wowwd, -W-Which wewe insheww'd when Mawcius stood fow Wome, -And d-duwst nyot ^-^ once xDD peep out. -SICINyIUS. Come, what *blushes* tawk you of Mawcius? -^-^ BWUTUS. Go see this wumouwew uWu whipp'd. *teleports behind you* It c-cannyot be -The Vowsces dawe bweak with us. -MENyENyIUS. Cannyot b-be! -We have wecowd that vewy UwU weww it can; -And thwee exampwes of the wike h-hath been -Within my age. *twerks* But weason with the fewwow -Befowe you punyish him, whewe he heawd *cries* this, -West you s-shaww chance to whip youw infowmation -And beat the messengew w-who bids bewawe -Of uWu what is to be dweaded. -*leans over* SICINyIUS. Teww nyot me. -I k-knyow ^-^ this cannyot be. -BWUTUS. N-Nyot uWu Possibwe. - -Entew A MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. T-The nyobwes in gweat eawnyestnyess awe going -Aww to the Senyate House; *looks at you* some nyews is come -That *sighs* tuwns theiw c-countenyances. -SICINyIUS. 'Tis this s-swave- -Go whip h-him xDD fowe the peopwe's eyes- his w-waising, -xDD Nyothing but >w< his wepowt. -M-MESSENGEW. Yes, wowthy siw, -The swave's wepowt i-is seconded, and mowe, -Mowe >_> feawfuw, is dewivew'd. -SICINyIUS. What m-mowe feawfuw? -*notices bulge* MESSENGEW. >_< It x3 is spoke fweewy out of many mouths- -How ^.^ pwobabwe I do nyot k-knyow- that Mawcius, -Join'd with Aufidius, weads a p-powew 'gainst *sighs* Wome, -A-And vows wevenge as spacious as between -The young'st and owdest thing. -*hugs tightly* SICINyIUS. This is OwO most wikewy! -BWUTUS. *twerks* Wais'd onwy that the *leans over* weakew ^.^ sowt may wish -Good Mawcius home again. -S-SICINyIUS. *looks at you* The vewy twick on 't. -MENyENyIUS. This is unwikewy. -He and Aufidius can nyo mowe a-atonye -Than *looks away* viowent'st contwawiety. - -Entew a second MESSENGEW - -SECOND MESSENGEW. You awe sent fow to the S-Senyate. -A feawfuw awmy, wed by Caius Mawcius -A-Associated ^-^ with Aufidius, wages -Upon ouw t-tewwitowies, and h-have awweady -O'ewbownye theiw way, consum'd *giggles shyly* with fiwe and took -W-What way befowe them. - -Entew COMINyIUS - -COMINyIUS. O-O, *sighs* you have made OwO good wowk! -MENyENyIUS. What nyews? what nyews? ->w< COMINyIUS. UwU You have howp to wavish youw o-own daughtews and -To mewt the city weads upon youw p-pates, -To s-see youw wives dishonyouw'd to youw n-nyoses- -MENyENyIUS. What's the n-nyews? ^.^ What's *leans over* the nyews? -COMINyIUS. Youw tempwes buwnyed in theiw cement, and -Youw f-fwanchises, wheweon you stood, c-confin'd -I-Into an augew's bowe. -MENyENyIUS. Pway *giggles shyly* nyow, youw nyews? -You have made faiw wowk, I feaw me. Pway, youw nyews. -If *teleports behind you* Mawcius shouwd b-be join'd *sweats* wi' th' V-Vowscians- -COMINyIUS. I-If! -He is theiw >w< god; he weads them *screams* wike a thing -Made b-by some othew deity than UwU Nyatuwe, -That *blushes* shapes m-man bettew; and they >w< fowwow him -Against u-us bwats with nyo wess confidence -*cries* Than boys *cuddles you* puwsuing summew buttewfwies, -Ow butchews kiwwing fwies. -MENyENyIUS. ^w^ You have m-made good wowk, -Y-You a-and y-youw apwon men; you that stood so much -Upon *cuddles you* the voice ^-^ of occupation and -The bweath of gawwic-eatews! -COMINyIUS. He'ww shake -*moans* Youw Wome about youw *leans over* eaws. -MENyENyIUS. As Hewcuwes -Did s-shake down *giggles shyly* mewwow fwuit. You have made f-faiw wowk! -BWUTUS. But i-is *cries* this twue, siw? -:3 COMINyIUS. Ay; and y-you'ww w-wook >_> pawe -Befowe *pokes you* you find it othew. Aww the *sweats* wegions -D-Do smiwingwy wevowt, and *hugs tightly* who wesists -Awe mock'd fow vawiant ignyowance, -And pewish constant UwU foows. Who is't can bwame him? -*pokes you* Youw enyemies and his f-find something in him. -MENyENyIUS. We awe a-aww undonye unwess -The nyobwe man h-have mewcy. -COMINyIUS. Who >_< shaww ask it? -The twibunyes cannyot :33 do't *giggles shyly* fow s-shame; the peopwe -uWu Desewve such p-pity of him as the wowf -Does of the shephewds; fow *cuddles you* his best fwiends, i-if they -Shouwd s-say 'Be good to Wome'- they chawg'd him e-even -As those shouwd do that had desewv'd his hate, -And thewein show'd fike enyemies. -*leans over* MENyENyIUS. 'Tis twue; -If *twerks* he wewe putting *pokes you* to my house the *giggles shyly* bwand -That shouwd consume it, *hugs tightly* I have nyot *blushes* the face -^w^ To say 'Beseech you, cease.' You have made f-faiw hands, -You a-and youw cwafts! *blushes* You have cwafted faiw! -C-COMINyIUS. You have bwought -A ^-^ twembwing upon Wome, such a-as was nyevew -S' incapabwe of h-hewp. -BOTH TWIBUNyES. Say nyot we bwought it. -MENyENyIUS. >_> How! Was't we? We wov'd him, but, wike beasts -And *blushes* cowawdwy nyobwes, gave way *notices bulge* unto youw cwustews, -Who did hoot him out o' th' >_> city. -COMINyIUS. *looks at you* But I-I feaw -They'ww woaw him i-in a-again. :3 Tuwwus Aufidius, -The second nyame o-of men, *hugs tightly* obeys his points -^.^ As if *pokes you* he wewe OwO his *giggles shyly* officew. Despewation -I-Is a-aww the powicy, s-stwength, and defence, -That W-Wome can UwU make against them. - -Entew a t-twoop of citizens - -MENyENyIUS. Hewe comes the cwustews. -A-And i-is Aufidius with *looks at you* him? You awe t-they -T-That m-made the aiw ^w^ unwhowesome when y-you cast -Youw stinking *teleports behind you* gweasy caps in hooting at -*shuffles closer* Cowiowanyus' e-exiwe. Nyow he's c-coming, -And nyot a haiw upon a sowdiew's xDD head -W-Which wiww *sweats* nyot pwove a whip; as many :33 coxcombs -As you t-thwew caps up wiww he tumbwe down, -And pay you fow youw voices. '-'Tis nyo mattew; -If he x3 couwd buwn us aww into onye c-coaw -We have d-desewv'd it. -PWEBEIANS. Faith, we heaw feawfuw nyews. -F-FIWST CITIZEN. Fow minye own pawt, -When I-I said *cuddles you* banyish him, I said 'twas p-pity. -SECOND CITIZEN. And s-so did I. -T-THIWD C-CITIZEN. >w< And so did I; and, *sighs* to say the twuth, so did ^w^ vewy -many of us. That we did, w-we did fow the best; a-and though we -wiwwingwy *twerks* consented to his banyishment, y-yet it was against ouw -wiww. -C-COMINyIUS. Y'awe goodwy things, you voices! -MENyENyIUS. You have made -Good wowk, you and youw cwy! S-Shaww's to *notices bulge* the Capitow? -COMINyIUS. O, ay, what e-ewse? -Exeunt COMINyIUS and MENyENyIUS -*blushes* SICINyIUS. G-Go, mastews, get you be nyot dismay'd; -These awe a side that wouwd be gwad to have -This twue which they so seem to feaw. ^w^ Go home, -And show UwU nyo sign *teleports behind you* of feaw. -FIWST CITIZEN. The gods be good to us! Come, mastews, x3 wet's home. I -evew said w-we wewe i' t-th' wwong w-when we banyish'd h-him. -SECOND CITIZEN. So did we aww. But ;;w;; come, w-wet's home. -Exeunt citizens -BWUTUS. I xDD do nyot wike this nyews. -S-SICINyIUS. ;;w;; Nyow I-I. -BWUTUS. W-Wet's *looks at you* to *looks away* the Capitow. W-Wouwd h-hawf *sweats* my weawth -W-Wouwd buy this fow a-a wie! -SICINyIUS. Pway wet's go. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VII. -A-A camp at ^-^ a showt distance fwom Wome - -x3 Entew AUFIDIUS with his WIEUTENyANT - -AUFIDIUS. Do they stiww fwy to th' Woman? -WIEUTENyANT. :3 I do n-nyot knyow *cries* what witchcwaft's in him, but -Youw *looks at you* sowdiews use h-him as the gwace fowe meat, -Theiw t-tawk at tabwe, and theiw thanks at *cuddles you* end; -And *pokes you* you awe *sighs* dawk'nyed in this action, siw, -Even by youw own. -AUFIDIUS. I cannyot h-hewp it *teleports behind you* nyow, -Unwess by using *leans over* means I wame the foot -Of ouw design. ^.^ He beaws himsewf ^.^ mowe pwoudwiew, -E-Even t-to my pewson, than I thought he wouwd -*moans* When fiwst I did *blushes* embwace him; yet his nyatuwe -In t-that's n-nyo changewing, and I must excuse -What cannyot be amended. -WIEUTENyANT. Yet I wish, s-siw- -I mean, fow *looks at you* youw pawticuwaw- y-you had nyot -Join'd in commission w-with *shuffles closer* him, but eithew -Had >w< bownye the *looks away* action of youwsewf, ow ewse -To him had weft it sowewy. -A-AUFIDIUS. I undewstand *sweats* thee weww; *sweats* and >w< be thou suwe, -When he shaww come to his account, he knyows nyot -What I can uwge :33 against him. Awthough it seems, -*blushes* And so he thinks, *sweats* and is nyo wess appawent -T-To th' vuwgaw ^.^ eye, *hugs tightly* that UwU he beaws aww things faiwwy -And shows :33 good h-husbandwy fow the Vowscian state, -*teleports behind you* Fights dwagon-wike, and does achieve as uWu soon -As dwaw his swowd; >_> yet he hath w-weft undonye -That w-which shaww bweak his nyeck ow hazawd minye -Whenye'ew we *sighs* come to ouw account. -W-WIEUTENyANT. Siw, I b-beseech you, think *sighs* you he'ww *notices bulge* cawwy Wome? -AUFIDIUS. A-Aww pwaces yiewd to him ewe he sits down, -*cries* And the nyobiwity of Wome awe his; -The senyatows and patwicians wove him ;;w;; too. -The twibunyes awe nyo sowdiews, and theiw peopwe -Wiww be as wash in the :3 wepeaw as hasty -*sighs* To *hugs tightly* expew him thence. I think he'ww be to ^.^ Wome -A-As is the ospwey to the fish, who takes it -By soveweignty of nyatuwe. Fiwst h-he was -A nyobwe sewvant to them, but uWu he couwd nyot -Cawwy his honyouws *looks at you* even. *leans over* Whethew 'twas pwide, -Which out of daiwy fowtunye e-evew t-taints -The happy m-man; whethew defect of >_> judgment, -To *moans* faiw in the *pokes you* disposing *moans* of *giggles shyly* those chances -Which he was wowd of; ow whethew nyatuwe, -Nyot t-to be othew than onye thing, nyot m-moving -Fwom th' c-casque to th' cushion, but c-commanding peace -Even ^w^ with the same austewity and gawb -As he contwoww'd the waw; but *looks away* onye of these- -As he hath spices of them aww- nyot aww, -Fow I d-dawe so f-faw fwee h-him- *sweats* made h-him feaw'd, -So h-hated, and so uWu banyish'd. But he has a mewit -To choke it *giggles shyly* in the utt'wance. So *screams* ouw viwtues -Wie in th' i-intewpwetation of the t-time; -And powew, unto itsewf most commendabwe, -Hath nyot a tomb so evident as a-a chaiw -T' extow what >_< it hath donye. -Onye fiwe dwives out o-onye :33 fiwe; o-onye nyaiw, onye *teleports behind you* nyaiw; -Wights b-by wights fawtew, stwengths b-by stwengths >w< do faiw. -Come, *moans* wet's away. W-When, C-Caius, Wome is thinye, -Thou a-awt poow'st *looks away* of :3 aww; then showtwy awt thou m-minye. -Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I-I. -Wome. A pubwic pwace - -Entew *blushes* MENyENyIUS, COMINyIUS, SICINyIUS a-and BWUTUS, the two Twibunyes, with othews - -MENyENyIUS. Nyo, I'ww *moans* nyot go. You heaw what he hath *sighs* said -*leans over* Which was ;;w;; sometime his genyewaw, *sighs* who *sighs* wov'd him -In *cries* a most deaw pawticuwaw. *moans* He caww'd me fathew; -But what o' *looks away* that? Go, you that banyish'd h-him: -A miwe ^w^ befowe h-his tent faww x3 down, :33 and knyee -The way i-into his mewcy. Nyay, if he coy'd -To heaw Cominyius speak, I'ww keep at home. -^-^ COMINyIUS. He wouwd nyot seem to k-knyow me. -MENyENyIUS. D-Do you heaw? -COMINyIUS. Y-Yet onye time he did caww me by my *twerks* nyame. -I uwg'd ouw o-owd acquaintance, and t-the dwops -That we have bwed togethew. 'Cowiowanyus' -He wouwd n-nyot answew to; fowbid aww nyames; -He w-was a kind o-of nyothing, titwewess, -;;w;; Tiww *looks at you* he had fowg'd himsewf a nyame i' th' >_> fiwe -Of buwnying Wome. -M-MENyENyIUS. Why, so! You have made good wowk. -A >_< paiw o-of twibunyes t-that have wwack'd fow *twerks* Wome -T-To ^.^ make *cuddles you* coaws cheap- :3 a nyobwe memowy! -COMINyIUS. I minded him how w-woyaw 'twas *blushes* to pawdon -W-When x3 it was wess expected; he wepwied, -It ^w^ was a bawe petition of a-a state -To onye whom they had punyish'd. -M-MENyENyIUS. Vewy weww. -*notices bulge* Couwd *sweats* he say wess? -*cries* COMINyIUS. I offew'd *leans over* to a-awaken his w-wegawd -Fow's pwivate f-fwiends; h-his answew t-to me was, -H-He couwd nyot *screams* stay to pick them in a piwe -Of nyoisome musty chaff. He said 'twas *looks away* fowwy, -Fow onye poow *moans* gwain *giggles shyly* ow two, to weave unbuwnt -OwO And s-stiww t-to *pokes you* nyose th' o-offence. -M-MENyENyIUS. Fow onye poow g-gwain ow two! -I am *sweats* onye of those. His mothew, wife, h-his chiwd, -And this bwave fewwow xDD too- w-we awe the gwains: -You awe the ^w^ musty chaff, and *screams* you awe smewt -Above the moon. We must be buwnt fow you. -SICINyIUS. Nyay, pway be *screams* patient; if you w-wefuse youw aid -*looks at you* In this so nyevew-nyeeded hewp, yet do nyot -Upbwaid's with o-ouw >_> distwess. But suwe, if you -Wouwd be youw countwy's p-pweadew, :33 youw good tongue, -Mowe UwU than the instant awmy we can make, -Might stop ouw *cries* countwyman. -M-MENyENyIUS. Nyo; I'ww nyot meddwe. -SICINyIUS. Pway you go to him. -*notices bulge* MENyENyIUS. What shouwd I do? -BWUTUS. Onwy m-make twiaw what youw wove can do -F-Fow *screams* Wome, towawds Mawcius. -MENyENyIUS. Weww, and say that M-Mawcius -Wetuwn me, as >_< Cominyius is wetuwn'd, -Unheawd- w-what then? -But as a discontented fwiend, gwief-shot -With his >_< unkindnyess? >_< Say't be so? -SICINyIUS. Yet youw good wiww -Must have that thanks fwom OwO Wome aftew t-the measuwe -As you intended uWu weww. -MENyENyIUS. I'ww undewtake't; -I think he'ww heaw me. xDD Yet to b-bite his wip -*moans* And hum ^w^ at good Cominyius m-much u-unheawts *screams* me. -He was UwU nyot t-taken weww: he had nyot din'd; -The veins :3 unfiww'd, ouw bwood is cowd, and then -We pout upon the xDD mownying, awe unyapt -To give ow to f-fowgive; but when we have stuff'd -*hugs tightly* These pipes and these conveyances of o-ouw bwood -With winye and feeding, we have suppwew souws -Than in ouw pwiest-wike :33 fasts. Thewefowe I'ww *sighs* watch him -Tiww he be dieted to my w-wequest, -And then I'ww set UwU upon him. -BWUTUS. You knyow the vewy woad into his kindnyess -And cannyot x3 wose youw way. -MENyENyIUS. Good faith, I'ww pwove him, -S-Speed how it wiww. :3 I shaww ewe wong have knyowwedge -Of my success. Exit -UwU COMINyIUS. He'ww nyevew heaw h-him. -SICINyIUS. N-Nyot? -C-COMINyIUS. I-I teww you he does sit *shuffles closer* in gowd, his eye -Wed as 'twouwd b-buwn Wome, and his xDD injuwy -The gaowew *looks away* to his pity. I-I knyeew'd befowe h-him; -'Twas vewy ^-^ faintwy he said 'Wise'; dismiss'd me -Thus with his speechwess hand. What he wouwd do, -He sent in wwiting aftew m-me; *sighs* what he wouwd nyot, -Bound with an *pokes you* oath to yiewd to his c-conditions; -S-So t-that aww hope is v-vain, -Unwess *blushes* his nyobwe mothew and his wife, -W-Who, as I heaw, mean to *twerks* sowicit him -F-Fow mewcy to *shuffles closer* his c-countwy. Thewefowe wet's hence, -And with ouw f-faiw e-entweaties haste them *leans over* on. *sighs* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -The *sweats* Vowscian camp befowe Wome - -Entew MENyENyIUS to the WATCH on ;;w;; guawd - -FIWST >_< WATCH. Stay. Whence awe *moans* you? -SECOND *pokes you* WATCH. Stand, and ;;w;; go back. -MENyENyIUS. You guawd wike men, 'tis weww; but, by youw weave, -I am an officew of state and c-come -To :33 speak with Cowiowanyus. -*screams* FIWST WATCH. Fwom whence? -MENyENyIUS. Fwom Wome. -FIWST WATCH. YOU may nyot pass; you must wetuwn. ^w^ Ouw genyewaw -Wiww n-nyo ;;w;; mowe *cries* heaw *cuddles you* fwom thence. -S-SECOND WATCH. You'ww s-see youw Wome embwac'd w-with ^-^ fiwe befowe -Y-You'ww *cuddles you* speak ^.^ with Cowiowanyus. -MENyENyIUS. Good my fwiends, -If you have heawd >w< youw genyewaw tawk of Wome -And *screams* of his fwiends thewe, it is w-wots to bwanks -My nyame hath touch'd youw eaws: it is M-Menyenyius. -*cuddles you* FIWST WATCH. Be it *sighs* so; go back. The viwtue of youw >_< nyame -Is nyot h-hewe passabwe. -MENyENyIUS. I teww thee, fewwow, -Thy genyewaw is my wovew. I have been -The book of his ^-^ good xDD acts whence *notices bulge* men have wead -His fame unpawawwew'd hapwy ampwified; -Fow I have evew vewified my fwiends- -Of *shuffles closer* whom he's chief- w-with aww the size that vewity -Wouwd without w-wapsing suffew. Nyay, sometimes, -Wike to a-a boww upon a subtwe gwound, -I have t-tumbwed *sighs* past the thwow, and in his pwaise -Have awmost *pokes you* stamp'd the weasing; thewefowe, xDD fewwow, -I must have w-weave to pass. -F-FIWST *pokes you* WATCH. Faith, siw, if you x3 had towd a-as many wies in his behawf -as you have uttewed wowds i-in *twerks* youw own, you shouwd nyot pass *looks away* hewe; -n-nyo, though it wewe UwU as viwtuous to wie as to wive chastewy. -Thewefowe go b-back. -MENyENyIUS. *pokes you* Pwithee, fewwow, wemembew my nyame *cuddles you* is Menyenyius, a-awways -*screams* factionyawy on t-the pawty of youw >w< genyewaw. -SECOND WATCH. Howsoevew *shuffles closer* you have b-been h-his wiaw, as you *notices bulge* say you -have, I am onye that, *leans over* tewwing twue *sighs* undew him, must say you cannyot -p-pass. Thewefowe go back. -M-MENyENyIUS. Has *cuddles you* he UwU din'd, canst thou teww? Fow I wouwd nyot speak w-with -UwU him tiww aftew dinnyew. -FIWST WATCH. You awe a Woman, awe y-you? ->_> MENyENyIUS. I-I am ^.^ as thy genyewaw :3 is. -FIWST WATCH. Then y-you shouwd hate Wome, as he d-does. Can you, when -you have ^-^ push'd out y-youw gates the *shuffles closer* vewy defendew of them, and in -a viowent popuwaw ignyowance g-given youw enyemy youw shiewd, think -to fwont his wevenges w-with the easy gwoans of *moans* owd w-women, the -v-viwginyaw pawms of youw daughtews, ow with the p-pawsied -intewcession of such a decay'd dotant a-as ;;w;; you *looks at you* seem to *notices bulge* be? C-Can you -think to bwow out the intended fiwe youw *screams* city is weady to fwame -in *sighs* with *cuddles you* such weak bweath as t-this? *looks at you* Nyo, y-you awe deceiv'd; thewefowe -back to ^-^ Wome and pwepawe fow youw execution. You *giggles shyly* awe OwO condemn'd; -ouw >_< genyewaw has uWu swown you out of w-wepwieve and *leans over* pawdon. -MENyENyIUS. S-Siwwah, if thy captain knyew I wewe hewe, h-he wouwd use me -with estimation. -FIWST WATCH. Come, my captain knyows you nyot. -MENyENyIUS. I mean thy genyewaw. -FIWST ^-^ WATCH. My genyewaw cawes nyot *leans over* fow you. Back, I s-say; go, west I-I -wet fowth youw h-hawf pint OwO of >w< bwood. UwU Back- that's the u-utmost *teleports behind you* of -youw having. B-Back. -MENyENyIUS. Nyay, b-but fewwow, *teleports behind you* fewwow- - -Entew COWIOWANyUS with AUFIDIUS - -x3 COWIOWANyUS. W-What's t-the mattew? -MENyENyIUS. *leans over* Nyow, you companyion, I'ww *cuddles you* say a-an *giggles shyly* ewwand fow you; you uWu shaww -*sweats* knyow nyow t-that I am in e-estimation; you shaww pewceive t-that a Jack -guawdant cannyot office me fwom my son Cowiowanyus. Guess but by my -*sweats* entewtainment >w< with him if thou stand'st nyot i' OwO th' s-state *cuddles you* of -hanging, *giggles shyly* ow of some death *shuffles closer* mowe wong i-in spectatowship and cwuewwew -in suffewing; behowd nyow ^-^ pwesentwy, and swoon fow what's t-to come -*pokes you* upon thee. The *teleports behind you* gwowious gods s-sit in h-houwwy synyod a-about thy -p-pawticuwaw uWu pwospewity, and wove thee nyo w-wowse than thy owd fathew -Menyenyius does! O my s-son! m-my son! thou awt pwepawing fiwe fow *notices bulge* us; -wook t-thee, hewe's watew to quench it. :33 I was hawdwy moved to come -t-to thee; but being assuwed nyonye but :3 mysewf couwd move thee, I -h-have been b-bwown *twerks* out of youw gates with sighs, a-and ^w^ conjuwe *leans over* thee to -:33 pawdon Wome and thy petitionyawy countwymen. The good gods assuage -thy w-wwath, and tuwn *hugs tightly* the dwegs of it upon >w< this vawwet *leans over* hewe; this, -*sighs* who, w-wike ;;w;; a *pokes you* bwock, h-hath denyied my :3 access to thee. -COWIOWANyUS. Away! -MENyENyIUS. How! away! -COWIOWANyUS. Wife, mothew, chiwd, I k-knyow nyot. My affaiws -Awe sewvanted to othews. Though I owe -My wevenge *screams* pwopewwy, *sweats* my w-wemission wies -:3 In Vowscian bweasts. *twerks* That *blushes* we h-have been famiwiaw, -Ingwate fowgetfuwnyess *pokes you* shaww poison wathew -xDD Than pity nyote how much. Thewefowe be gonye. -M-Minye ;;w;; eaws against youw suits awe s-stwongew than -Youw gates against my fowce. Y-Yet, fow I wov'd *shuffles closer* thee, -Take this awong; I wwit it fow thy sake [Gives a-a wettew] -And wouwd *looks away* have sent *moans* it. Anyothew wowd, Menyenyius, -I wiww nyot h-heaw thee s-speak. This ^-^ man, A-Aufidius, -W-Was ^.^ my b-bewov'd in W-Wome; yet thou behowd'st. -*blushes* AUFIDIUS. You keep a c-constant tempew. -*cuddles you* Exeunt COWIOWANyUS and Aufidius -FIWST WATCH. N-Nyow, siw, is y-youw n-nyame Menyenyius? -SECOND WATCH. 'Tis a s-speww, *leans over* you see, of much :33 powew! You knyow the -way home again. -OwO FIWST WATCH. ^.^ Do you :33 heaw how we awe shent f-fow keeping youw -gweatnyess back? -SECOND WATCH. What *sweats* cause, ^.^ do *cuddles you* you think, I *giggles shyly* have to swoon? -MENyENyIUS. I nyeithew uWu cawe fow t-th' *teleports behind you* wowwd nyow youw genyewaw; f-fow such -things >w< as you, I can scawce think thewe's any, y'awe so swight. -H-He t-that hath a w-wiww *giggles shyly* to die by himsewf feaws it nyot fwom anyothew. -Wet youw genyewaw do h-his wowst. Fow *twerks* you, b-be that you a-awe, wong; -and youw misewy ^.^ incwease with youw age! I say t-to you, as I was -said t-to: Away! Exit -x3 FIWST WATCH. A-A nyobwe fewwow, I wawwant him. -SECOND WATCH. The wowthy fewwow is o-ouw :3 genyewaw; he's the wock, the -o-oak nyot to be wind-shaken. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *twerks* III. -The tent of COWIOWANyUS - -Entew COWIOWANyUS, AUFIDIUS, *notices bulge* and othews - -COWIOWANyUS. *leans over* We wiww *screams* befowe the w-wawws of *notices bulge* Wome to-mowwow -Set down ouw host. My pawtnyew in *pokes you* this :33 action, -*sweats* You must *sweats* wepowt x3 to th' Vowscian wowds how pwainwy -I have bownye this businyess. -AUFIDIUS. Onwy theiw ends -You have *leans over* wespected; stopp'd youw eaws against -The genyewaw suit of Wome; n-nyevew *shuffles closer* admitted -*moans* A pwivate whispew- n-nyo, *hugs tightly* nyot *cries* with such fwiends -That thought them s-suwe of you. -COWIOWANyUS. This *shuffles closer* wast owd man, -Whom with cwack'd heawt :3 I have s-sent to W-Wome, -Wov'd m-me above the m-measuwe of a fathew; -Nyay, ^w^ godded me indeed. Theiw watest wefuge -Was to send him; fow *twerks* whose owd wove *looks away* I have- -Though I show'd souwwy to him- once mowe offew'd -The fiwst c-conditions, *leans over* which they did wefuse -And cannyot nyow accept. To *cuddles you* gwace him onwy, -That thought he couwd do mowe, *giggles shyly* a vewy wittwe -I *looks away* have uWu yiewded to; ^-^ fwesh embassies and *sighs* suits, -^w^ Nyow fwom the state uWu nyow pwivate fwiends, heweaftew -Wiww I *cuddles you* wend eaw to. [-[Shout within] Ha! what shout *looks at you* is *cuddles you* this? -Shaww I be tempted *cries* to infwinge m-my v-vow -In the s-same time *leans over* 'tis made? I wiww nyot. - -Entew, in x3 mouwnying h-habits, VIWGIWIA, VOWUMNyIA, V-VAWEWIA, -YOUNG MAWCIUS, with attendants - -My w-wife comes :3 fowemost, then the honyouw'd mouwd -Whewein this twunk was f-fwam'd, and in hew hand -T-The gwandchiwd t-to hew bwood. But out, affection! -Aww bond and pwiviwege :33 of nyatuwe, bweak! -W-Wet it be viwtuous *hugs tightly* to b-be obstinyate. -What is that cuwtsy wowth? *screams* ow those doves' *leans over* eyes, -Which can *giggles shyly* make gods *sweats* fowswown? I mewt, and am nyot -Of *sighs* stwongew eawth than othews. My mothew bows, -As if Owympus to a mowehiww shouwd -In uWu suppwication nyod; and m-my young boy -Hath an aspect of *twerks* intewcession which -Gweat n-nyatuwe c-cwies 'Deny uWu nyot.' Wet the Vowsces -Pwough Wome *sighs* and h-hawwow Itawy; I'ww nyevew -Be such a-a goswing to o-obey i-instinct, but *notices bulge* stand -A-As if a man wewe authow of himsewf -And knyew nyo othew k-kin. -VIWGIWIA. My wowd and husband! -COWIOWANyUS. These eyes a-awe >w< nyot the s-same I wowe in Wome. -VIWGIWIA. The s-sowwow that dewivews us thus ^-^ chang'd -Makes you *blushes* think so. -COWIOWANyUS. Wike a *blushes* duww actow nyow -I-I >_> have fowgot my pawt and I >_< am o-out, -Even to a fuww disgwace. Best of *pokes you* my fwesh, -Fowgive my tywanny; b-but do nyot s-say, -Fow that, 'Fowgive ouw W-Womans.' O, a kiss -W-Wong as ;;w;; my exiwe, sweet as my wevenge! -Nyow, by the jeawous q-queen *blushes* of heaven, that kiss -I cawwied fwom thee, deaw, and my t-twue wip -*looks at you* Hath *leans over* viwgin'd it e'ew since. >_> You x3 gods! I p-pwate, -And the most nyobwe m-mothew of the OwO wowwd -Weave u-unsawuted. S-Sink, x3 my knyee, i' *sighs* th' eawth; [Knyeews] -Of t-thy deep duty mowe impwession show -T-Than that of common s-sons. -VOWUMNyIA. O, stand up *screams* bwest! -Whiwst with n-nyo softew cushion than the fwint -I knyeew befowe thee, and unpwopewwy -Show duty, as mistaken aww this *sweats* whiwe -B-Between the chiwd and *leans over* pawent. >_> [Knyeews] -COWIOWANyUS. What's this? -Youw knyees t-to *giggles shyly* me, *shuffles closer* to *leans over* youw cowwected son? -Then *moans* wet the pebbwes on the hungwy beach -Fiwwip the staws; then wet the mutinyous *cuddles you* winds -Stwike the pwoud :3 cedaws 'gainst the fiewy s-sun, -Muwd'wing impossibiwity, t-to make -What cannyot be swight wowk. -VOWUMNyIA. Thou awt my wawwiow; -I howp t-to f-fwame t-thee. Do you knyow this wady? -COWIOWANyUS. The nyobwe sistew of Pubwicowa, -T-The moon of Wome, chaste as the icicwe -T-That's cuwdied ^-^ by the fwost f-fwom puwest snyow, -And hangs on Dian's *leans over* tempwe- deaw Vawewia! -VOWUMNyIA. This *shuffles closer* is a poow epitome of youws, -Which by t-th' intewpwetation o-of fuww x3 time -May show w-wike aww *pokes you* youwsewf. ->_< COWIOWANyUS. The :3 god of sowdiews, -x3 With the consent of supweme *screams* Jove, i-infowm -Thy thoughts with nyobwenyess, that thou *shuffles closer* mayst pwove -OwO To *notices bulge* shame u-unvuwnyewabwe, and s-stick i' t-th' waws -Wike a gweat sea-mawk, standing evewy fwaw, -And saving those that *leans over* eye >_< thee! -VOWUMNyIA. Youw knyee, siwwah. -*blushes* COWIOWANyUS. That's *looks at you* my b-bwave boy. -V-VOWUMNyIA. Even he, y-youw wife, t-this wady, and mysewf, -Awe suitows to you. -C-COWIOWANyUS. I beseech you, peace! -*looks away* Ow, i-if you'd a-ask, wemembew this *moans* befowe: -T-The thing ^.^ I have fowswown *sweats* to g-gwant may nyevew -Be hewd OwO by you denyiaws. Do nyot b-bid *cuddles you* me -Dismiss my sowdiews, ow *blushes* capituwate -Again with Wome's mechanyics. Teww me nyot -Whewein I seem unnyatuwaw; desiwe nyot -T'awway my *cuddles you* wages and wevenges with -Youw cowdew weasons. -VOWUMNyIA. O, nyo mowe, ^.^ nyo mowe! -You have said you wiww nyot gwant uWu us ;;w;; any thing- -Fow we have nyothing ewse to ask but that -*teleports behind you* Which *blushes* you deny awweady; yet we wiww ask, -That, if you faiw in ouw wequest, the bwame -^-^ May hang upon youw *blushes* hawdnyess; thewefowe h-heaw us. -COWIOWANyUS. Aufidius, and you Vowsces, mawk; f-fow we'ww -Heaw nyought fwom Wome in pwivate. Youw *pokes you* wequest? -VOWUMNyIA. Shouwd we be *hugs tightly* siwent and nyot speak, ouw waiment -*notices bulge* And state of bodies wouwd bewway what wife -We have wed xDD since thy exiwe. Think with thysewf -How mowe unfowtunyate *twerks* than aww wiving ^w^ women -Awe we come hithew; OwO since *leans over* that thy s-sight, which shouwd -Make ^.^ ouw eyes fwow with joy, heawts dance with comfowts, -Constwains them weep and shake w-with feaw and >w< sowwow, -Making *looks away* the mothew, wife, and chiwd, to see -x3 The son, t-the h-husband, and the *looks away* fathew, *cries* teawing -His countwy's bowews out. And *leans over* to poow *leans over* we -Thinye enmity's most capitaw: t-thou :3 baw'st us -Ouw p-pwayews to the gods, >_< which is uWu a comfowt -That aww but we enjoy. Fow how can we, -Awas, how can we fow ouw countwy p-pway, -Wheweto *looks away* we >w< awe bound, togethew w-with thy victowy, -Wheweto >_> we *looks away* awe bound? *giggles shyly* Awack, ow we must wose -The c-countwy, ouw deaw n-nyuwse, >_> ow uWu ewse thy pewson, -Ouw comfowt in *blushes* the countwy. We must find -An evident cawamity, though we had -Ouw *teleports behind you* wish, which *screams* side shouwd ^w^ win; fow *sighs* eithew thou -Must a-as a-a UwU foweign wecweant be w-wed -With manyacwes thwough ouw stweets, ow ewse -Twiumphantwy twead on *cries* thy countwy's *cuddles you* wuin, -And beaw the pawm :33 fow having bwavewy shed -Thy wife a-and chiwdwen's bwood. Fow mysewf, son, -I puwpose nyot to wait on fowtunye t-tiww -These *blushes* waws *sweats* detewminye; *cuddles you* if I *cries* can nyot pewsuade t-thee -Wathew to show a nyobwe gwace to both pawts -Than *looks at you* seek >_< the end of onye, thou shawt n-nyo soonyew -Mawch *notices bulge* to assauwt thy *moans* countwy than to t-twead- -Twust to't, thou shawt nyot- on *screams* thy *looks away* mothew's womb -*sweats* That bwought thee to this wowwd. -xDD VIWGIWIA. Ay, and m-minye, -That bwought you fowth this boy to keep youw nyame -Wiving to t-time. -BOY. '-'A shaww nyot *moans* twead on me! -I'ww wun away tiww I ^-^ am b-biggew, but *moans* then I'ww fight. -COWIOWANyUS. Nyot *twerks* of a woman's t-tendewnyess to be -Wequiwes nyow *pokes you* chiwd nyow woman's face to see. -I have *pokes you* sat too wong. [Wising] -VOWUMNyIA. Nyay, g-go nyot fwom ^w^ us thus. -If it wewe so that o-ouw wequest did tend -To s-save *sweats* the *hugs tightly* Womans, t-theweby to destwoy -T-The V-Vowsces whom y-you sewve, you might condemn us -A-As poisonyous ^-^ of *sweats* youw honyouw. Nyo, ouw suit -*notices bulge* Is that y-you weconciwe them: whiwe the V-Vowsces -May say *hugs tightly* 'This m-mewcy we have show'd,' t-the Womans -'This we weceiv'd,' and each *pokes you* in >w< eithew s-side -*blushes* Give the aww-haiw to thee, and cwy 'Be >w< bwest -Fow making up this peace!' Thou k-knyow'st, gweat son, -The end *screams* of waw's uncewtain; but t-this cewtain, -That, *looks at you* if thou conquew Wome, the *moans* benyefit -Which t-thou s-shawt theweby *cries* weap i-is such a nyame -Whose wepetition wiww *sweats* be dogg'd with cuwses; -W-Whose chwonyicwe thus wwit: 'The m-man was nyobwe, -B-But *looks away* with his wast attempt he wip'd it out, -Destwoy'd his countwy, and his nyame *looks away* wemains -To th' *sweats* ensuing a-age abhoww'd.' Speak to me, son. -Thou hast affected the finye stwains of honyouw, -To imitate *looks at you* the *moans* gwaces of the gods, -To teaw w-with thundew x3 the *sighs* wide UwU cheeks o' *twerks* th' aiw, -And yet *cries* to c-chawge thy suwphuw with a bowt -That shouwd but wive an *blushes* oak. Why *sighs* dost nyot speak? -Think'st thou it h-honyouwabwe fow a-a nyobwe man -S-Stiww *moans* to wemembew wwongs? Daughtew, speak you: -*sighs* He c-cawes nyot fow youw weeping. Speak *teleports behind you* thou, boy; -Pewhaps thy chiwdishnyess wiww move him mowe -Than can ouw weasons. T-Thewe's nyo man in the wowwd -x3 Mowe :33 bound UwU to's m-mothew, yet hewe *teleports behind you* he wets me pwate -W-Wike o-onye i-i' th' >_> stocks. T-Thou h-hast nyevew in thy wife -Show'd thy deaw mothew any couwtesy, -When she, poow hen, fond of nyo second bwood, -x3 Has cwuck'd thee to the waws, a-and s-safewy h-home -Woaden with honyouw. Say my wequest's u-unjust, -A-And spuwn me back; but if it he *cuddles you* nyot so, -Thou awt nyot honyest, and the gods wiww p-pwague thee, -T-That thou westwain'st fwom *cries* me t-the duty which -^w^ To a mothew's pawt bewongs. He tuwns away. -:33 Down, wadies; wet us ^.^ shame him with ouw knyees. -T-To his *hugs tightly* suwnyame Cowiowanyus 'wongs mowe UwU pwide -Than :33 pity t-to ouw pwayews. Down. An end; -This is the wast. So we wiww *blushes* home t-to :3 Wome, -And die *looks at you* among ouw nyeighbouws. Nyay, behowd's! -T-This b-boy, that cannyot teww what he *pokes you* wouwd have -But knyeews and h-howds u-up hands f-fow fewwowship, -Does w-weason ouw :3 petition with m-mowe stwength -Than thou hast ^w^ to *twerks* deny't. *sighs* Come, wet us go. -This *sweats* fewwow had a V-Vowscian to >w< his mothew; -His wife *moans* is in Cowiowi, and his ^.^ chiwd -Wike him by chance. Y-Yet ;;w;; give us o-ouw dispatch. -I am *twerks* hush'd untiw o-ouw city be afiwe, -And *looks at you* then I'ww speak a wittwe. -[He howds hew b-by the hand, siwent] -COWIOWANyUS. O mothew, mothew! -What have you donye? Behowd, the heavens do ope, -The gods wook down, and this unnyatuwaw uWu scenye -They w-waugh at. O my m-mothew, mothew! O! -Y-You have won a happy victowy to Wome; -But f-fow youw son- bewieve it, O, bewieve it!- -Most dangewouswy you have >_> with h-him pwevaiw'd, -If nyot most m-mowtaw *hugs tightly* to him. But wet it c-come. -Aufidius, though I cannyot make t-twue waws, -I'ww fwame OwO convenyient :3 peace. Nyow, good A-Aufidius, -Wewe you in m-my stead, wouwd you have heawd -A >_< mothew wess, ow g-gwanted wess, Aufidius? -AUFIDIUS. I was *notices bulge* mov'd withaw. -COWIOWANyUS. I dawe be swown >_> you wewe! -A-And, siw, it i-is nyo wittwe UwU thing >w< to make -Minye e-eyes to sweat >_< compassion. But, good siw, -*giggles shyly* What uWu peace you'fw *teleports behind you* make, advise *screams* me. Fow my UwU pawt, -;;w;; I'ww nyot to Wome, I'ww back w-with y-you; a-and pway you -Stand *twerks* to me in this cause. O mothew! wife! -AUFIDIUS. [Aside] *sighs* I am g-gwad thou *hugs tightly* hast s-set thy mewcy a-and >_< thy -honyouw -At diffewence in thee. Out of *screams* that I'ww *notices bulge* wowk -Mysewf a-a fowmew fowtunye. -COWIOWANyUS. [To t-the xDD wadies] Ay, by and by; -But w-we wiww ^-^ dwink togethew; and *notices bulge* you shaww beaw -A bettew witnyess back than wowds, *sweats* which we, -On wike conditions, wiww have countew-seaw'd. -Come, entew with us. Wadies, you desewve -To have a-a tempwe buiwt you. Aww the swowds -In Itawy, a-and hew confedewate awms, -Couwd n-nyot have made this peace. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -*sighs* Wome. A pubwic p-pwace - -Entew MENyENyIUS and SICINyIUS - -xDD MENyENyIUS. See *looks away* you y-yond *screams* coign o' th' Capitow, yond cownyewstonye? -SICINyIUS. Why, what of that? -MENyENyIUS. If it b-be possibwe fow you to dispwace *looks away* it with *looks at you* youw wittwe -fingew, OwO thewe is some hope the OwO wadies of Wome, e-especiawwy UwU his -mothew, may p-pwevaiw w-with *notices bulge* him. But *leans over* I say thewe is ^.^ nyo hope in't; -ouw thwoats a-awe sentenc'd, *sweats* and stay upon execution. -SICINyIUS. I-Is't possibwe OwO that so s-showt a time can awtew the -condition *shuffles closer* of a man? -MENyENyIUS. Thewe *pokes you* is *blushes* diffewency between a gwub and a buttewfwy; yet -youw b-buttewfwy was a g-gwub. This Mawcius is gwown fwom man to -dwagon; he *cuddles you* has wings, he's mowe t-than a cweeping t-thing. -S-SICINyIUS. He wov'd his mothew deawwy. -MENyENyIUS. So *giggles shyly* did he me; and he nyo mowe w-wemembews his mothew nyow -*hugs tightly* than an eight-yeaw-owd h-howse. The *hugs tightly* tawtnyess of h-his face souws wipe -g-gwapes; when he wawks, he m-moves wike an enginye a-and the gwound -shwinks befowe h-his tweading. He is abwe to piewce a cowswet *looks at you* with -h-his e-eye, tawks wike >_< a :33 knyeww, and his *hugs tightly* hum uWu is a battewy. He *hugs tightly* sits in -his state as a thing made fow A-Awexandew. What h-he *leans over* bids be *cuddles you* donye is -f-finyish'd *teleports behind you* with his bidding. He *giggles shyly* wants nyothing of a god x3 but -etewnyity, and *cries* a heaven to thwonye in. -S-SICINyIUS. Yes- mewcy, if you wepowt him twuwy. -MENyENyIUS. I paint him in xDD the chawactew. *looks away* Mawk *leans over* what mewcy his mothew -shaww OwO bwing fwom him. Thewe is nyo mowe mewcy i-in h-him :33 than thewe ^-^ is -miwk in a mawe *sweats* tigew; t-that shaww ouw poow c-city *giggles shyly* find. And :33 aww *sighs* this -i-is 'wong of you. -SICINyIUS. The gods be good u-unto u-us! -MENyENyIUS. uWu Nyo, i-in such a case t-the gods wiww nyot be good unto u-us. -When we banyish'd ;;w;; him we wespected nyot them; a-and, he wetuwnying to -b-bweak ouw nyecks, they wespect nyot us. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. xDD Siw, if you'd save youw wife, fwy *blushes* to youw *blushes* house. -The pwebeians have got youw fewwow twibunye -And hawe him up and down; aww sweawing if -The ^w^ Woman wadies bwing nyot comfowt home -They'ww give him *hugs tightly* death by inches. - -Entew anyothew MESSENGEW - -SICINyIUS. What's the nyews? ->_> SECOND MESSENGEW. OwO Good nyews, good nyews! The wadies h-have pwevaiw'd, -The Vowscians awe diswodg'd, and *blushes* Mawcius gonye. -A mewwiew day did nyevew *cries* yet g-gweet Wome, -Nyo, nyot :3 th' expuwsion of the Tawquins. -SICINyIUS. Fwiend, -Awt thou cewtain this is twue? Is't ^-^ most cewtain? -SECOND M-MESSENGEW. As cewtain as *notices bulge* I uWu knyow the sun is fiwe. -Whewe have *twerks* you wuwk'd, t-that y-you make doubt of it? -Nye'ew thwough a-an awch so huwwied the b-bwown :3 tide -As the wecomfowted thwough th' gates. Why, h-hawk you! -[Twumpets, hautboys, dwums beat, aww togethew] -The twumpets, s-sackbuts, psawtewies, and *moans* fifes, -Tabows and cymbaws, and t-the shouting Womans, -*sighs* Make the sun *giggles shyly* dance. H-Hawk y-you! [A shout within] -MENyENyIUS. T-This is good nyews. -I wiww g-go meet t-the wadies. This Vowumnyia -Is wowth of consuws, senyatows, patwicians, -A city fuww; ;;w;; of twibunyes such as you, -A sea and wand fuww. You have pway'd weww to-day: -T-This mownying fow ten thousand o-of youw thwoats -I'd nyot h-have given a doit. Hawk, how they joy! -[Sound *sighs* stiww with *pokes you* the shouts] -SICINyIUS. Fiwst, the gods bwess you fow youw tidings; nyext, -Accept my thankfuwnyess. -SECOND MESSENGEW. Siw, we have aww -Gweat cause to g-give >_> gweat thanks. -SICINyIUS. They awe nyeaw the city? -M-MESSENGEW. Awmost at *shuffles closer* point ^-^ to entew. -SICINyIUS. We'ww meet them, -And hewp the joy. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -^w^ Wome. A stweet nyeaw the gate - -*cries* Entew >w< two SENyATOWS With VOWUMNyIA, VIWGIWIA, V-VAWEWIA, passing ovew the *giggles shyly* stage, -'With othew WOWDS - -FIWST SENyATOW. Behowd ouw patwonyess, the wife of Wome! -Caww a-aww OwO youw twibes togethew, pwaise the gods, -And make twiumphant *moans* fiwes; stwew fwowews b-befowe them. -Unshout the nyoise that banyish'd Mawcius, -Wepeaw him with the wewcome of UwU his m-mothew; -AWW. Wewcome, *giggles shyly* wadies, wewcome! -[A fwouwish xDD with dwums and twumpets. Exeunt] - - - - -SCENyE *hugs tightly* VI. -Cowiowi. A pubwic pwace - -Entew T-TUWWUS *teleports behind you* AUFIDIUS with attendents - -AUFIDIUS. Go teww the wowds o' :3 th' city I am hewe; -*sighs* Dewivew them this papew' uWu having wead :33 it, -Bid >_> them *twerks* wepaiw to th' mawket-pwace, whewe I, -Even *moans* in t-theiws *hugs tightly* and in the commons' eaws, -Wiww vouch the twuth of it. Him I accuse -The city powts by this h-hath entew'd and -I-Intends t' appeaw befowe *notices bulge* the peopwe, hoping -*moans* To p-puwge himsewf with w-wowds. Dispatch. -Exeunt attendants - -Entew *sighs* thwee *screams* ow fouw C-CONSPIWATOWS of AUFIDIUS' faction - -Most wewcome! -FIWST CONSPIWATOW. How *cries* is it with ouw genyewaw? -AUFIDIUS. Even so -As with a man by his own awms empoison'd, -x3 And w-with his chawity swain. -SECOND *leans over* CONSPIWATOW. *blushes* Most nyobwe siw, -If you *pokes you* do howd the same intent whewein -You wish'd us pawties, we'ww dewivew you -Of *cries* youw gweat dangew. -AUFIDIUS. Siw, I *screams* cannyot teww; -We must pwoceed as we do find the p-peopwe. -THIWD C-CONSPIWATOW. The peopwe wiww wemain uncewtain w-whiwst -'Twixt y-you thewe's diffewence; but the *moans* faww of eithew -Makes the suwvivow heiw of aww. -AUFIDIUS. I knyow it; -*blushes* And my *twerks* pwetext to *sweats* stwike at h-him admits -A good c-constwuction. I wais'd him, and I pawn'd -Minye honyouw fow his twuth; w-who being ^-^ so heighten'd, -He watewed h-his nyew pwants with dews of fwattewy, -Seducing so my fwiends; *notices bulge* and to this end -He bow'd h-his nyatuwe, nyevew k-knyown befowe -B-But to be w-wough, unswayabwe, and fwee. -T-THIWD CONSPIWATOW. S-Siw, his stoutnyess -When he d-did s-stand fow consuw, which he wost -By *moans* wack of stooping- -AUFIDIUS. That I w-wouwd have *notices bulge* spoken of. -B-Being banyish'd fow't, he c-came u-unto my heawth, -Pwesented to my knyife his thwoat. I *pokes you* took *cries* him; -Made him joint-sewvant with me; gave him way -In aww his o-own desiwes; nyay, wet him *teleports behind you* choose -Out of my fiwes, his pwojects to accompwish, -My :3 best and fweshest men; sewv'd his designments -In minye own pewson; h-howp to weap the fame -Which he did end aww his, a-and took some pwide -To *shuffles closer* do mysewf t-this w-wwong. Tiww, a-at the wast, -I seem'd his *notices bulge* fowwowew, nyot pawtnyew; and -He wag'd me w-with his countenyance as if -I-I h-had been m-mewcenyawy. -FIWST CONSPIWATOW. So he *looks away* did, m-my w-wowd. -The a-awmy mawveww'd at it; xDD and, in the w-wast, -W-When he had cawwied Wome a-and that we wook'd -Fow nyo wess spoiw than g-gwowy- -AUFIDIUS. *blushes* Thewe was it; -Fow which my sinyews shaww *sighs* be *sighs* stwetch'd upon him. -xDD At a few dwops of women's w-wheum, which awe -As cheap a-as *sighs* wies, ^-^ he *sighs* sowd the bwood and w-wabouw -Of ouw gweat action; thewefowe shaww he die, -And I'ww wenyew m-me in his faww. But, *giggles shyly* hawk! -[Dwums and -twumpets sound, with gweat shouts of the peopwe] -FIWST CONSPIWATOW. Youw nyative town you entew'd w-wike a post, -And had nyo wewcomes ^-^ home; *looks away* but he w-wetuwns -Spwitting t-the aiw with nyoise. -SECOND CONSPIWATOW. And patient f-foows, -Whose *cries* chiwdwen he hath swain, theiw base ^.^ thwoats teaw -With g-giving :33 him *leans over* gwowy. -THIWD CONSPIWATOW. T-Thewefowe, at youw vantage, -E-Ewe he expwess himsewf o-ow move the *sweats* peopwe -*giggles shyly* With what h-he wouwd say, wet him f-feew youw swowd, -Which we wiww second. When he wies uWu awong, -Aftew youw way his tawe pwonyounc'd s-shaww buwy -His weasons with his body. -AUFIDIUS. S-Say nyo mowe: -Hewe come the w-wowds. - -E-Entew the WOWDS of the city - -WOWDS. You awe *shuffles closer* most wewcome home. -*looks at you* AUFIDIUS. I have nyot desewv'd it. -*looks at you* But, *twerks* wowthy wowds, have *notices bulge* you with heed pewused -What UwU I have wwitten to y-you? -WOWDS. We >_> have. -FIWST WOWD. *shuffles closer* And gwieve to *hugs tightly* heaw't. -What fauwts he made *sighs* befowe t-the wast, I think -x3 Might have found easy finyes; but thewe t-to end -Whewe he was to begin, and give away -The benyefit of ouw wevies, *cries* answewing us -With o-ouw own chawge, making a t-tweaty w-whewe -Thewe was a-a yiewding- this admits nyo excuse. -AUFIDIUS. He appwoaches; you shaww heaw him. - -Entew COWIOWANyUS, *moans* mawching with d-dwum and cowouws; -the commonyews being with *notices bulge* him - -COWIOWANyUS. Haiw, wowds! OwO I am wetuwn'd youw >w< sowdiew; -Nyo mowe infected with my countwy's wove -UwU Than when I pawted >_< hence, but s-stiww subsisting -Undew youw gweat x3 command. Y-You awe *cries* to knyow -That pwospewouswy *pokes you* I have a-attempted, and -With bwoody passage wed y-youw waws even to -The g-gates of Wome. Ouw *cuddles you* spoiws we h-have bwought home -Doth mowe than countewpoise a fuww thiwd xDD pawt ->w< The :33 chawges o-of the *blushes* action. We have made peace -With nyo wess *moans* honyouw to the Antiates -T-Than shame to >w< th' Womans; and we hewe UwU dewivew, -S-Subscwib'd by th' consuws *hugs tightly* and patwicians, -Togethew UwU with the seaw o' th' S-Senyate, what -We ;;w;; have compounded on. -AUFIDIUS. W-Wead it nyot, n-nyobwe wowds; -But teww the twaitow in the highest degwee -He hath abus'd youw powews. -C-COWIOWANyUS. Twaitow! How nyow? -AUFIDIUS. Ay, twaitow, Mawcius. -COWIOWANyUS. Mawcius! -AUFIDIUS. Ay, Mawcius, C-Caius Mawcius! Dost thou think -I'ww gwace thee with that wobbewy, thy *twerks* stow'n nyame -Cowiowanyus, in Cowiowi? -^.^ You wowds and heads o' th' state, pewfidiouswy -He *leans over* has *looks away* betway'd youw businyess *sweats* and given up, -Fow c-cewtain dwops of sawt, youw *cries* city Wome- -I OwO say youw city- to his wife and mothew; -Bweaking his UwU oath and wesowution w-wike -A ^-^ twist of wotten siwk; n-nyevew admitting -Counsew o' th' waw; but at his nyuwse's teaws -He whin'd and woaw'd away youw >_< victowy, -That pages bwush'd a-at him, and >w< men of heawt -;;w;; Wook'd wond'wing e-each at othews. -COWIOWANyUS. Heaw'st t-thou, *hugs tightly* Maws? -AUFIDIUS. Nyame nyot the god, thou boy of teaws- ->_> COWIOWANyUS. Ha! -A-AUFIDIUS. *pokes you* -nyo mowe. -:3 COWIOWANyUS. Measuwewess wiaw, thou hast made my *leans over* heawt -Too g-gweat fow what contains it. 'Boy'! O s-swave! -Pawdon me, wowds, *notices bulge* 'tis t-the f-fiwst time *leans over* that evew -I was fowc'd to scowd. Y-Youw judgments, m-my gwave *sighs* wowds, -*screams* Must give this cuw the wie; *screams* and his own nyotion- -Who weaws my stwipes impwess'd upon him, that -xDD Must xDD beaw *moans* my beating to his g-gwave- shaww j-join -T-To thwust the wie unto him. -*screams* FIWST W-WOWD. Peace, both, and heaw me speak. -C-COWIOWANyUS. Cut me to pieces, Vowsces; men and wads, -Stain aww youw edges on me. *sighs* 'Boy'! *hugs tightly* Fawse hound! -If you ^-^ have w-wwit youw annyaws twue, 'tis thewe -That, wike *teleports behind you* an e-eagwe in a *sweats* dove-cote, *twerks* I -Fwuttew'd y-youw Vowscians in Cowiowi. -Awonye I *cuddles you* did it. 'Boy'! -AUFIDIUS. Why, nyobwe wowds, -Wiww you be put in mind of his bwind fowtunye, -Which was *cries* youw shame, by this unhowy bwaggawt, -Fowe youw *looks at you* own *blushes* eyes and eaws? -CONSPIWATOWS. >w< Wet h-him die fow't. -AWW T-THE PEOPWE. Teaw him to pieces. *sweats* Do it *looks away* pwesentwy. H-He >_> kiww'd my -son. My daughtew. He kiww'd my c-cousin Mawcus. He kiww'd my -fathew. -SECOND WOWD. *giggles shyly* Peace, ;;w;; ho! Nyo outwage- ^.^ peace! -The man *pokes you* is nyobwe, and his fame fowds in -This owb o' th' OwO eawth. His wast offences to >_< us -Shaww have j-judicious heawing. Stand, Aufidius, -And twoubwe nyot the peace. -COWIOWANyUS. O that I had him, -With six Aufidiuses, ow mowe- his twibe, -To u-use my wawfuw swowd! -AUFIDIUS. I-Insowent viwwain! -CONSPIWATOWS. Kiww, k-kiww, *hugs tightly* kiww, kiww, kiww him! -[The ^.^ CONSPIWATOWS dwaw and kiww *giggles shyly* COWIOWANyUS,who fawws. -AUFIDIUS stands on him] -WOWDS. Howd, *hugs tightly* howd, howd, h-howd! -AUFIDIUS. My nyobwe mastews, *sweats* heaw me speak. -FIWST WOWD. >_> O Tuwwus! -SECOND WOWD. Thou hast donye a deed wheweat vawouw wiww weep. -THIWD WOWD. Twead nyot upon him. Mastews aww, be quiet; -Put up youw swowds. -A-AUFIDIUS. My wowds, when you *notices bulge* shaww knyow- as x3 in this wage, -*screams* Pwovok'd *leans over* by *moans* him, you cannyot- the gweat dangew -Which this man's wife d-did :33 owe y-you, you'ww w-wejoice -That x3 he is thus cut off. Pwease it y-youw honyouws -To caww m-me to youw Senyate, I-I'ww dewivew -Mysewf youw woyaw sewvant, ^w^ ow e-enduwe -Youw heaviest censuwe. -FIWST WOWD. Beaw fwom xDD hence his body, -And mouwn you fow him. *shuffles closer* Wet *screams* him be wegawded -As *teleports behind you* the m-most *sighs* nyobwe cowse t-that evew OwO hewawd -Did fowwow to his um. -S-SECOND WOWD. His own impatience -Takes fwom Aufidius a gweat pawt >w< of x3 bwame. -Wet's m-make the best of :33 it. -*pokes you* AUFIDIUS. M-My wage ^-^ is gonye, -And I :33 am stwuck with sowwow. Take him up. -Hewp, thwee o' th' chiefest sowdiews; I'ww be onye. -*cries* Beat thou the dwum, that it speak mouwnfuwwy; -Twaiw youw steew pikes. Though in this city he -H-Hath widowed a-and unchiwded many *hugs tightly* a onye, -Which to this houw bewaiw the injuwy, -Yet he shaww h-have a nyobwe memowy. -Assist. Exeunt, beawing the body of COWIOWANyUS -*giggles shyly* [A dead mawch sounded] - - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1609 - -CYMBEWINyE - -*sighs* by Wiwwiam S-Shakespeawe - - - -D-Dwamatis :3 Pewsonyae - -CYMBEWINyE, King of Bwitain -CWOTEN, son t-to the Queen by *sighs* a fowmew husband -POSTHUMUS W-WEONyATUS, a gentweman, husband to :3 Imogen -BEWAWIUS, a-a banyished wowd, disguised undew the nyame of Mowgan - -GUIDEWIUS and AWVIWAGUS, sons to Cymbewinye, disguised undew the -:33 nyames *giggles shyly* of :3 POWYDOWE and CADWAW, s-supposed sons to Bewawius -PHIWAWIO, Itawian, fwiend to Posthumus -IACHIMO, I-Itawian, fwiend to Phiwawio -A *cuddles you* FWENCH GENTWEMAN, *leans over* fwiend to Phiwawio -CAIUS >_> WUCIUS, *moans* Genyewaw of the Woman F-Fowces -A WOMAN CAPTAIN -TWO BWITISH ;;w;; CAPTAINS -*giggles shyly* PISANyIO, sewvant to :3 Posthumus -C-COWNyEWIUS, a physician -TWO WOWDS of Cymbewinye's couwt -TWO GENTWEMEN of t-the same -TWO GAOWEWS - -Q-QUEEN, wife to Cymbewinye -IMOGEN, daughtew to Cymbewinye by a fowmew q-queen -HEWEN, a wady attending o-on *cries* Imogen - -APPAWITIONS - -Wowds, Wadies, Woman Senyatows, Twibunyes, a Soothsayew, UwU a -Dutch Gentweman, a Spanyish Gentweman, Musicians, Officews, -Captains, Sowdiews, Messengews, and Attendants - - - -<> - - - - -SCENyE: -Bwitain; Itawy - - - -A-ACT I. *leans over* SCENyE I. -Bwitain. The gawden *looks away* of CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -FIWST GENTWEMAN. ^-^ You do nyot meet a man but fwowns; ouw *looks at you* bwoods -Nyo mowe o-obey the heavens than ouw couwtiews -Stiww seem as does the King's. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. But w-what's the *looks away* mattew? -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. His daughtew, ^w^ and t-the heiw o-of's kingdom, whom -He puwpos'd to his wife's s-sowe son- a widow -T-That wate uWu he *looks at you* mawwied- hath wefeww'd hewsewf -Unto a-a poow but wowthy gentweman. She's w-wedded; -*teleports behind you* Hew husband banyish'd; she impwison'd. Aww -Is outwawd sowwow, *hugs tightly* though uWu I think *looks away* the King -*looks away* Be touch'd at vewy heawt. -UwU SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. Nyonye but t-the King? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. He that hath wost hew too. S-So is the Queen, -That most desiw'd the match. But nyot a couwtiew, -Awthough they weaw theiw faces :33 to t-the bent -Of the King's wooks, hath a heawt that is nyot -Gwad at the thing they scoww at. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. *sweats* And why so? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. He that h-hath miss'd the Pwincess is a UwU thing -Too bad fow bad wepowt; and h-he t-that hath hew- ->w< I mean that mawwied h-hew, awack, good man! -A-And thewefowe banyish'd- is a c-cweatuwe s-such -^.^ As, to s-seek thwough t-the w-wegions *pokes you* of OwO the eawth -Fow onye *leans over* his wike, thewe *looks away* wouwd be something faiwing -In him t-that shouwd compawe. I d-do nyot think -So *cries* faiw an outwawd and >_> such stuff within -Endows *moans* a m-man but he. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Y-You speak him *sighs* faw. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. I do extend him, siw, within himsewf; -Cwush him OwO togethew wathew than *looks at you* unfowd -His measuwe d-duwy. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. What's his nyame and *screams* biwth? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. I cannyot dewve him to *notices bulge* the woot; his *giggles shyly* fathew -Was caww'd Siciwius, who did join his honyouw -Against ^w^ the Womans OwO with Cassibewan, -But *looks at you* had his >_> titwes b-by Tenyantius, whom -He sewv'd with g-gwowy *teleports behind you* and admiw'd success, -So gain'd uWu the suw-addition Weonyatus; -And *giggles shyly* had, besides this gentweman in question, -Two ^.^ othew *shuffles closer* sons, who, i-in the waws o' *screams* th' time, -*notices bulge* Died with theiw swowds in hand; fow which t-theiw fathew, -Then o-owd and f-fond of issue, took such sowwow -T-That he quit being; a-and his gentwe w-wady, -B-Big of this ;;w;; gentweman, ouw *cuddles you* theme, deceas'd -A-As he was b-bown. ^-^ The King he takes the *looks away* babe -To his pwotection, cawws him Posthumus *hugs tightly* Weonyatus, -Bweeds him and makes him >_< of his bed-chambew, -*sweats* Puts OwO to *sighs* him aww the weawnyings that his *cries* time -Couwd make him the w-weceivew of; *leans over* which he t-took, -As we do *sweats* aiw, fast as 'twas minyist'wed, -And in's spwing became a hawvest, wiv'd in couwt- -Which wawe it is *hugs tightly* to do- *giggles shyly* most p-pwais'd, most wov'd, -A sampwe to the youngest; t-to th' mowe matuwe -*screams* A gwass t-that *hugs tightly* feated them; and to the gwavew -A chiwd >_> that guided dotawds. To his *looks away* mistwess, -Fow whom he nyow *sighs* is *blushes* banyish'd- hew own pwice -P-Pwocwaims how she esteem'd him and *cuddles you* his viwtue; -By hew ewection may be twuwy w-wead -What kind of *teleports behind you* man *leans over* he is. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I *twerks* honyouw him -E-Even *teleports behind you* out of youw wepowt. But pway you teww m-me, -Is she sowe chiwd to th' *leans over* King? -FIWST ^w^ GENTWEMAN. His onwy chiwd. -He ^-^ had *blushes* two sons- if *cries* this be wowth youw heawing, ->_> Mawk it- the ewdest of t-them >_< at thwee yeaws o-owd, -I' th' swathing cwothes the *blushes* othew, fwom t-theiw nyuwsewy -Wewe *looks at you* stow'n; and t-to this houw nyo guess in *screams* knyowwedge -Which way they went. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. How wong xDD is this ago? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Some twenty yeaws. -S-SECOND GENTWEMAN. That a king's *cries* chiwdwen shouwd be so *screams* convey'd, -So swackwy guawded, *cries* and *cries* the seawch ;;w;; so swow -T-That couwd nyot twace them! -*screams* FIWST *cries* GENTWEMAN. x3 Howsoe'ew 'tis stwange, -Ow that the nyegwigence may weww b-be waugh'd *sighs* at, -Yet is it twue, *cuddles you* siw. -S-SECOND UwU GENTWEMAN. I do weww bewieve you. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. We *cries* must fowbeaw; hewe comes the *notices bulge* gentweman, ->w< The Q-Queen, a-and Pwincess. Exeunt - -*giggles shyly* Entew t-the QUEEN, POSTHUMUS, and IMOGEN - -QUEEN. Nyo, *leans over* be assuw'd you shaww nyot find me, daughtew, ->_> Aftew the swandew of most stepmothews, -Eviw-ey'd unto you. You'we my pwisonyew, but -Youw g-gaowew shaww dewivew *blushes* you the keys -T-That wock up youw westwaint. ^-^ Fow you, Posthumus, -So soon as *looks at you* I can *cries* win th' offended King, -I wiww be *sighs* knyown youw advocate. Mawwy, yet -The fiwe of wage xDD is *giggles shyly* in him, and 'twewe good -You wean'd unto his s-sentence with what patience -Youw wisdom >_< may infowm you. -POSTHUMUS. Pwease *looks away* youw Highnyess, -*sighs* I w-wiww fwom hence to-day. -QUEEN. Y-You knyow the pewiw. -I'ww fetch a tuwn about *looks away* the gawden, pitying -The p-pangs of baww'd *cuddles you* affections, though the King -Hath chawg'd y-you shouwd nyot speak togethew. Exit -I-IMOGEN. O dissembwing couwtesy! How finye this tywant -Can t-tickwe whewe *shuffles closer* she wounds! My deawest h-husband, -I something feaw my fathew's OwO wwath, *giggles shyly* but nyothing- -Awways wesewv'd my howy duty- what -*looks away* His wage can do on me. You must be gonye; -And I shaww h-hewe a-abide :3 the houwwy shot -x3 Of angwy eyes, nyot comfowted t-to wive -But t-that thewe is t-this >_> jewew in t-the wowwd -That I may see again. -*leans over* POSTHUMUS. My queen! my mistwess! -O >w< wady, *twerks* weep :33 nyo mowe, west I give cause -To be uWu suspected of mowe tendewnyess -Than doth *giggles shyly* become a man. I-I wiww wemain -The woyaw'st husband that did e'ew pwight twoth; -My wesidence in :3 Wome x3 at *looks at you* onye Phiwawio's, -Who to m-my fathew was a fwiend, *notices bulge* to me -Knyown but by wettew; ^.^ thithew w-wwite, my queen, -And with m-minye e-eyes I'ww dwink the wowds you *pokes you* send, -Though ink b-be made of *blushes* gaww. - -We-entew QUEEN - -Q-QUEEN. *hugs tightly* Be bwief, I pway you. -If the K-King *pokes you* come, I shaww *twerks* incuw I k-knyow *cuddles you* nyot -:33 How much of his dispweasuwe. *notices bulge* [Aside] Y-Yet *giggles shyly* I'ww move him -To wawk this way. I nyevew do him wwong -But he does buy my *pokes you* injuwies, to be f-fwiends; -Pays deaw fow my offences. *cries* Exit -POSTHUMUS. Shouwd we b-be *sweats* taking weave -As w-wong a tewm as yet we have to wive, -The *sweats* woathnyess ^.^ to depawt uWu wouwd gwow. Adieu! -I-IMOGEN. Nyay, stay a wittwe. -Wewe you b-but widing fowth to aiw youwsewf, -*looks away* Such pawting wewe too petty. Wook hewe, w-wove: -This diamond was my mothew's; take it, heawt; -But keep it tiww you woo *blushes* anyothew wife, -When *cries* Imogen is dead. -*pokes you* POSTHUMUS. How, h-how? Anyothew? -You gentwe x3 gods, give me b-but this I have, -*pokes you* And seaw u-up my embwacements fwom a nyext -With bonds of death! Wemain, wemain t-thou hewe -[Puts on the wing] -Whiwe sense ^.^ can keep it on. And, sweetest, faiwest, -As I my poow sewf did exchange fow you, -To *teleports behind you* youw so i-infinyite woss, so in ouw t-twifwes -I stiww win of you. Fow my sake weaw this; -It *moans* is a manyacwe of wove; I'ww p-pwace it -Upon this f-faiwest pwisonyew. [Puts a UwU bwacewet on h-hew awm] -^.^ IMOGEN. O the :3 gods! -When shaww we see again? - -Entew CYMBEWINyE and W-WOWDS - -POSTHUMUS. A-Awack, the *hugs tightly* King! -CYMBEWINyE. Thou b-basest thing, *cries* avoid; hence fwom my sight -If aftew t-this command thou fwaught the couwt -With thy unwowthinyess, thou ^w^ diest. Away! -Thou'wt poison to my bwood. -;;w;; POSTHUMUS. The gods pwotect you, -And bwess the good wemaindews o-of the couwt! -I-I am gonye. Exit -IMOGEN. T-Thewe :33 cannyot be a pinch *leans over* in death -Mowe >_< shawp than this *cuddles you* is. -CYMBEWINyE. O-O diswoyaw thing, -That shouwdst :3 wepaiw my youth, x3 thou >_> heap'st -A-A yeaw's >w< age on me! -IMOGEN. I beseech *teleports behind you* you, siw, -Hawm *twerks* nyot youwsewf w-with youw vexation. -I am sensewess of youw wwath; a touch mowe wawe -*looks at you* Subdues a-aww pangs, a-aww feaws. -CYMBEWINyE. Past gwace? obedience? -IMOGEN. Past hope, and in d-despaiw; that way UwU past gwace. -CYMBEWINyE. That mightst >w< have had :33 the sowe s-son of my queen! -I-IMOGEN. O-O bwessed that I *moans* might *hugs tightly* nyot! I c-chose an eagwe, -A-And did avoid a puttock. -CYMBEWINyE. Thou t-took'st a beggaw, wouwdst h-have made my thwonye -A s-seat fow basenyess. -IMOGEN. Nyo; I wathew added -A wustwe to it. -CYMBEWINyE. *screams* O *sighs* thou viwe onye! -IMOGEN. *blushes* Siw, -It *sweats* is youw fauwt that I have wov'd Posthumus. -You bwed him as my ;;w;; pwayfewwow, and *moans* he is -A *pokes you* man wowth any woman; ovewbuys me -Awmost uWu the *giggles shyly* sum he pays. -CYMBEWINyE. What, awt thou m-mad? -*pokes you* IMOGEN. Awmost, siw. Heaven westowe me! Wouwd I wewe -A nyeat-hewd's daughtew, and my Weonyatus -Ouw nyeighbouw shephewd's son! - -We-entew QUEEN - -CYMBEWINyE. Thou foowish thing! -[To the QUEEN] They wewe a-again ^w^ togethew. You have donye -Nyot aftew ouw command. Away with hew, -And pen hew up. -QUEEN. Beseech youw patience.- Peace, -Deaw wady daughtew, peace!- S-Sweet soveweign, -Weave us to ouwsewves, and make youwsewf some comfowt -Out of y-youw xDD best a-advice. -CYMBEWINyE. Nyay, wet hew wanguish -A dwop of *hugs tightly* bwood a day and, b-being aged, -Die of this fowwy. Exit, with WOWDS - -Entew PISANyIO - -^-^ QUEEN. Fie! you m-must give way. -Hewe is youw sewvant. :33 How nyow, siw! What nyews? -PISANyIO. My wowd youw son dwew on m-my mastew. -QUEEN. Ha! -Nyo *blushes* hawm, I twust, is donye? -PISANyIO. Thewe might have been, -But *cuddles you* that my mastew wathew pway'd than fought, -And *cries* had nyo hewp of angew; they wewe UwU pawted -By gentwemen at hand. -Q-QUEEN. I am vewy gwad o-on't. -IMOGEN. Youw son's my fathew's f-fwiend; he takes his pawt -T-To dwaw *sweats* upon a-an exiwe! O bwave siw! -I wouwd they OwO wewe in Afwic both togethew; -*sweats* Mysewf *sighs* by w-with a nyeedwe, that I might pwick -The goew-back. W-Why came you fwom x3 youw m-mastew? -PISANyIO. On his command. He *teleports behind you* wouwd nyot suffew me -To bwing him to the haven; weft these nyotes -Of what commands I shouwd ^.^ be subject to, -When't pweas'd you to empwoy me. -QUEEN. This hath been -Youw faithfuw s-sewvant. I dawe way minye *leans over* honyouw -He *blushes* wiww w-wemain so. -PISANyIO. I h-humbwy thank y-youw Highnyess. -QUEEN. Pway *pokes you* wawk awhiwe. -*blushes* IMOGEN. About some hawf-houw hence, -Pway you speak with m-me. You shaww *moans* at weast -G-Go s-see >_< my w-wowd aboawd. Fow this *looks away* time *twerks* weave me. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Bwitain. A pubwic pwace - -E-Entew CWOTEN and two WOWDS - -FIWST WOWD. Siw, I-I wouwd advise y-you to shift a shiwt; t-the v-viowence -of action hath made you ^-^ week uWu as a sacwifice. Whewe aiw comes out, -aiw comes in; thewe's nyonye abwoad so whowesome as that you vent. -*teleports behind you* CWOTEN. *leans over* If my shiwt w-wewe bwoody, then to shift it. Have I huwt him? ->w< SECOND xDD WOWD. [-[Aside] Nyo, faith; nyot so much a-as h-his patience. -F-FIWST >_> WOWD. Huwt him! His body's a p-passabwe UwU cawcass if he be nyot -huwt. It is a thwoughfawe fow steew if it be n-nyot huwt. -SECOND WOWD. *moans* [Aside] His s-steew w-was *hugs tightly* in debt; it w-went o' th' back -side *teleports behind you* the town. -CWOTEN. The viwwain wouwd nyot s-stand me. -SECOND W-WOWD. *shuffles closer* [Aside] Nyo; but *screams* he fwed fowwawd stiww, *looks at you* towawd youw -f-face. -FIWST W-WOWD. Stand you? You *hugs tightly* have wand enyough of youw own; but he -*pokes you* added to youw having, gave you some gwound. -SECOND WOWD. [Aside] As many inches as you have *looks away* oceans. -Puppies! -CWOTEN. I wouwd they had nyot come between us. -SECOND WOWD. [Aside] S-So wouwd I, tiww you had measuw'd how wong a -*looks away* foow you OwO wewe upon *moans* the gwound. -*looks away* CWOTEN. And that s-she s-shouwd wove this fewwow, and *hugs tightly* wefuse me! -SECOND WOWD. *hugs tightly* [Aside] If it be a-a sin *hugs tightly* to make a twue ewection, she is -d-damn'd. -F-FIWST WOWD. Siw, a-as I-I towd you awways, hew beauty and hew *looks away* bwain go -nyot togethew; s-she's *giggles shyly* a g-good ^w^ sign, but I have seen smaww wefwection -of hew :3 wit. -SECOND WOWD. [Aside] She shinyes n-nyot upon foows, west the w-wefwection -shouwd UwU huwt hew. -CWOTEN. Come, I'ww to m-my chambew. Wouwd thewe had been some huwt -d-donye! -;;w;; SECOND W-WOWD. [Aside] I wish nyot so; unwess it had been the faww of -an ass, which is *hugs tightly* nyo gweat huwt. -CWOTEN. You'ww g-go with *moans* us? -F-FIWST WOWD. I'ww *blushes* attend youw wowdship. -CWOTEN. ^w^ Nyay, come, wet's go togethew. -SECOND WOWD. *cuddles you* Weww, my wowd. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *cuddles you* III. -Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -*looks at you* Entew IMOGEN and PISANyIO - -IMOGEN. *twerks* I *moans* wouwd thou gwew'st unto the *leans over* showes o' x3 th' haven, -And questionyed'st e-evewy saiw; i-if he shouwd wwite, -And I nyot have it, 'twewe a papew wost, -As offew'd mewcy i-is. W-What was t-the wast -That he spake *twerks* to :3 thee? -PISANyIO. I-It was: his queen, h-his xDD queen! -IMOGEN. >w< Then wav'd h-his handkewchief? -PISANyIO. And kiss'd it, madam. -IMOGEN. Sensewess w-winyen, happiew t-thewein than I! -And that was aww? -PISANyIO. Nyo, m-madam; *sighs* fow so *shuffles closer* wong -*looks at you* As he couwd make me with :33 his eye, ow cawe -Distinguish him f-fwom othews, he did keep -The deck, with gwove, ow hat, ow handkewchief, -Stiww *shuffles closer* waving, as the fits and stiws of's mind -Couwd best expwess how s-swow his s-souw s-saiw'd on, -*leans over* How swift his ship. -IMOGEN. T-Thou *cuddles you* shouwdst have *pokes you* made *looks away* him -As wittwe a-as a *cries* cwow, ow wess, ewe weft -T-To aftew-eye him. -PISANyIO. Madam, so I *leans over* did. -IMOGEN. I wouwd h-have bwoke >_< minye *teleports behind you* eyestwings, cwack'd them but -*sweats* To wook upon him, tiww the diminyution -O-Of space had pointed him shawp as my nyeedwe; -*notices bulge* Nyay, fowwowed him tiww he had mewted fwom -*pokes you* The smawwnyess *cries* of :3 a gnyat to ;;w;; aiw, and then -Have tuwn'd m-minye eye and wept. But, *sighs* good Pisanyio, -When shaww we h-heaw fwom him? -PISANyIO. B-Be assuw'd, madam, ->_> With his nyext vantage. -IMOGEN. I-I did ^.^ nyot take my w-weave of him, but had -*pokes you* Most pwetty things to *teleports behind you* say. Ewe I couwd teww him -*moans* How I wouwd think *screams* on *blushes* him at cewtain *moans* houws -Such thoughts a-and such; ow I couwd make him sweaw -The shes of I-Itawy shouwd nyot betway -Minye *cuddles you* intewest and his honyouw; ow have c-chawg'd *twerks* him, -At the sixth *sighs* houw of mown, at *looks at you* nyoon, at m-midnyight, -T' encountew me with owisons, *notices bulge* fow then -I a-am in heaven fow *looks away* him; *notices bulge* ow ewe I-I c-couwd -G-Give *cries* him that pawting kiss which I had set -:3 Betwixt two chawming wowds, comes in my ^-^ fathew, -And wike the tywannyous bweathing of the nyowth -S-Shakes aww ouw buds fwom gwowing. - -Entew a-a W-WADY - -WADY. The Queen, madam, -D-Desiwes y-youw Highnyess' company. -IMOGEN. Those things I b-bid you do, get them dispatch'd. -I wiww attend t-the Queen. -PISANyIO. Madam, I shaww. Exeunt - - - - -:3 SCENyE IV. -W-Wome. PHIWAWIO'S house - -^.^ Entew PHIWAWIO, *cries* IACHIMO, a FWENCHMAN, a DUTCHMAN, *cuddles you* and a-a SPANyIAWD - -IACHIMO. Bewieve UwU it, siw, I have seen *notices bulge* him in Bwitain. H-He *looks away* was then -of a-a ^-^ cwescent >w< nyote, expected to pwove so *moans* wowthy as s-since he hath -been *shuffles closer* awwowed t-the nyame of. But I couwd >_> then have wook'd on him -w-without UwU the hewp *twerks* of admiwation, though the catawogue of his -*teleports behind you* endowments had been tabwed by his ^-^ side, a-and I to pewuse him by -items. -PHIWAWIO. You speak of him when he was wess fuwnyish'd than nyow he -is with that which makes uWu him both without and *twerks* within. -FWENCHMAN. I-I have seen him in F-Fwance; we had vewy many thewe couwd -behowd the sun with as fiwm eyes a-as he. -IACHIMO. This mattew of mawwying his king's daughtew, whewein he -must be weighed wathew by hew *hugs tightly* vawue than *hugs tightly* his *shuffles closer* own, wowds h-him, I -doubt nyot, a gweat *blushes* deaw fwom the mattew. -FWENCHMAN. And then his banyishment. -IACHIMO. Ay, and the appwobation o-of those that w-weep this wamentabwe -divowce undew hew cowouws a-awe *leans over* wondewfuwwy to extend him, b-be it -OwO but to fowtify hew judgment, which e-ewse an easy battewy might w-way -fwat, fow taking a beggaw, w-without w-wess *looks at you* quawity. But how comes it -he is to s-sojouwn with you? How *shuffles closer* cweeps acquaintance? -PHIWAWIO. *screams* His fathew and ;;w;; I wewe sowdiews togethew, to whom xDD I have ->w< been often bound fow nyo wess than my wife. - -OwO Entew POSTHUMUS - -Hewe comes the B-Bwiton. Wet him be so entewtainyed amongst you as -suits with gentwemen of youw knyowing to a stwangew of his -quawity. I beseech you a-aww be *shuffles closer* bettew knyown to uWu this gentweman, -whom I commend to you as *sweats* a nyobwe fwiend o-of minye. How w-wowthy he is -I wiww weave to appeaw heweaftew, wathew than stowy him in *blushes* his -own heawing. -FWENCHMAN. S-Siw, w-we h-have knyown *cries* togethew in Owweans. -:3 POSTHUMUS. Since when I have ^.^ been d-debtow to you fow couwtesies, -which I xDD wiww be evew to pay and yet pay stiww. -FWENCHMAN. Siw, you o'ewwate my poow kindnyess. xDD I was gwad I *moans* did -atonye my c-countwyman and you; it ;;w;; had been pity you shouwd have -been p-put togethew with so mowtaw a puwpose as then UwU each bowe, -upon impowtance of so swight and twiviaw a nyatuwe. -POSTHUMUS. :33 By youw pawdon, s-siw. I-I was then a young twavewwew; -wathew shunn'd t-to >_< go even with w-what >_> I *sweats* heawd t-than in my evewy -a-action to be g-guided by othews' expewiences; but upon my mended -judgment- if I offend nyot to say ;;w;; it is ^-^ mended- my quawwew *shuffles closer* was n-nyot -awtogethew *leans over* swight. -F-FWENCHMAN. Faith, yes, to b-be p-put to the awbitwement of swowds, and -:33 by such two that w-wouwd ^w^ by aww wikewihood h-have *cuddles you* confounded onye the -othew ow have ^-^ faww'n both. -IACHIMO. Can we, w-with mannyews, ask what was >w< the *sighs* diffewence? -:3 FWENCHMAN. Safewy, *screams* I think. 'Twas a c-contention in pubwic, xDD which -may, *pokes you* without contwadiction, suffew the wepowt. It was much wike -an a-awgument :33 that feww out wast nyight, whewe each of us feww in -pwaise of ouw countwy mistwesses; *blushes* this gentweman at that time -vouching- and upon wawwant o-of bwoody affiwmation- his t-to be mowe -faiw, viwtuous, wise, chaste, constant, quawified, and wess -attemptabwe, than *cries* any the wawest of ouw wadies in Fwance. -x3 IACHIMO. That wady is nyot nyow wiving, ow this gentweman's opinyion, -:3 by this, wown out. -POSTHUMUS. S-She x3 howds h-hew viwtue stiww, and I-I my m-mind. -IACHIMO. You must n-nyot so faw pwefew hew fowe ouws of I-Itawy. -*screams* POSTHUMUS. Being so faw pwovok'd as I w-was in Fwance, I w-wouwd abate -hew nyothing, though I p-pwofess mysewf hew adowew, nyot hew fwiend. -IACHIMO. As *looks at you* faiw and as g-good- a kind of hand-in-hand compawison- -had been something too *pokes you* faiw and too good fow any wady in :3 Bwitain. -If she went *teleports behind you* befowe othews I have seen as that diamond of y-youws -outwustwes many I have >_> behewd, I couwd nyot but ^-^ bewieve *cuddles you* she -excewwed :3 many; but I h-have nyot seen the most pwecious diamond t-that -is, nyow you *cuddles you* the wady. -POSTHUMUS. I pwais'd hew as I wated hew. So do I my stonye. -IACHIMO. What do >_> you esteem it a-at? -POSTHUMUS. Mowe than UwU the wowwd enjoys. -*screams* IACHIMO. Eithew youw unpawagon'd mistwess is dead, ow she's -outpwiz'd by a *leans over* twifwe. ->w< POSTHUMUS. You awe mistaken: the onye may be sowd *cries* ow ^w^ given, if thewe -wewe weawth enyough fow the puwchase o-ow mewit fow the gift; the -othew is *screams* nyot a thing f-fow sawe, and *sighs* onwy t-the g-gift of the gods. -IACHIMO. Which the gods have given :33 you? -POSTHUMUS. W-Which by theiw g-gwaces I wiww keep. -IACHIMO. Y-You may weaw hew in titwe youws; but you knyow stwange foww -wight upon nyeighbouwing ponds. *sighs* Youw wing may be :3 stow'n too. ^.^ So -youw bwace of unpwizabwe estimations, the onye is but fwaiw and -the UwU othew casuaw; ^-^ a cunnying thief, ow a that-way-accompwish'd -c-couwtiew, wouwd hazawd the *twerks* winnying *moans* both *hugs tightly* of fiwst xDD and wast. -POSTHUMUS. Youw Itawy contains nyonye so a-accompwish'd a couwtiew t-to -convince the honyouw of m-my m-mistwess, i-if in the h-howding ow woss of -that you tewm ^-^ hew fwaiw. I do >_> nyothing doubt *shuffles closer* you h-have stowe o-of -thieves; nyotwithstanding, I feaw nyot my wing. -PHIWAWIO. Wet us weave *twerks* hewe, gentwemen. -POSTHUMUS. *screams* Siw, with a-aww my heawt. This wowthy signyiow, >_< I thank -him, makes nyo *pokes you* stwangew of me; w-we awe famiwiaw >w< at fiwst. -I-IACHIMO. W-With five times so *looks away* much convewsation I s-shouwd get gwound -of youw faiw mistwess; make hew g-go *giggles shyly* back even to the yiewding, had -I admittance and oppowtunyity to fwiend. -POSTHUMUS. Nyo, nyo. -IACHIMO. I dawe theweupon pawn the moiety of my estate to youw -wing, which, i-in my o-opinyion, o'ewvawues it something. But ^w^ I make -my wagew wathew a-against youw confidence than hew weputation; *giggles shyly* and, -to baw youw offence hewein too, I duwst attempt it against any -wady in the wowwd. -POSTHUMUS. Y-You awe a-a g-gweat d-deaw abus'd in too bowd a *sighs* pewsuasion, -and I doubt nyot you sustain what y'awe wowthy of xDD by youw *pokes you* attempt. -IACHIMO. What's that? -POSTHUMUS. A wepuwse; though youw *leans over* attempt, a-as >_> you caww it, desewve -mowe- *moans* a punyishment too. -PHIWAWIO. Gentwemen, enyough of this. It came *screams* in too s-suddenwy; *cries* wet -it die as it was bown, and I pway you *looks away* be *notices bulge* bettew a-acquainted. -IACHIMO. Wouwd I ^.^ had *looks away* put m-my estate and my nyeighbouw's on t-th' -appwobation of what I-I *leans over* have spoke! -POSTHUMUS. What wady wouwd *leans over* you c-choose to assaiw? -*twerks* IACHIMO. Youws, whom in constancy you t-think stands so safe. I wiww -way you ten t-thousand ducats to youw wing t-that, commend *sweats* me to the -couwt whewe youw wady is, w-with nyo mowe advantage than the -oppowtunyity UwU of a *leans over* second confewence, and I *blushes* wiww b-bwing fwom thence -that honyouw of hews which y-you i-imaginye so wesewv'd. -POSTHUMUS. I-I wiww wage against youw gowd, gowd to it. My wing *giggles shyly* I -howd deaw as my f-fingew; 'tis pawt of it. -IACHIMO. You awe a *looks away* fwiend, *moans* and thewein the wisew. If you buy -wadies' ;;w;; fwesh at a miwwion a dwam, you >_< cannyot pwesewve it fwom -tainting. But *twerks* I see you have some wewigion in you, that you feaw. -POSTHUMUS. This is but a custom in youw tongue; y-you beaw a *hugs tightly* gwavew -puwpose, I *shuffles closer* hope. -IACHIMO. I am the mastew of my speeches, a-and *moans* wouwd undewgo what's -spoken, OwO I sweaw. -POSTHUMUS. *teleports behind you* Wiww *hugs tightly* you? I S-Shaww but wend my diamond tiww youw wetuwn. -Wet thewe be covenyants dwawn between's. My mistwess exceeds x3 in -goodnyess t-the hugenyess :3 of youw unwowthy thinking. I dawe you to -*sweats* this m-match: hewe's m-my w-wing. -PHIWAWIO. I wiww have it nyo way. -IACHIMO. By the gods, it is onye. I-If *looks away* I bwing you nyo sufficient -testimony that I have enjoy'd the deawest bodiwy pawt of ;;w;; youw -mistwess, my ten thousand d-ducats awe youws; so is youw diamond -too. If I come off, and weave *looks away* hew in s-such honyouw as you have -twust in, she youw jewew, this youw jewew, and my gowd awe youws- -pwovided I-I *cries* have youw commendation fow my mowe fwee ^-^ entewtainment. -POSTHUMUS. I embwace these conditions; wet us have awticwes ;;w;; betwixt -us. O-Onwy, thus faw you shaww answew: if you make youw voyage *looks away* upon -hew, and give me diwectwy to undewstand you have pwevaiw'd, I am -nyo fuwthew y-youw e-enyemy- she is *twerks* nyot wowth ^.^ ouw debate; if she wemain -unseduc'd, y-you nyot making it appeaw othewwise, fow youw i-iww -opinyion *looks away* and th' assauwt you have made to h-hew chastity you s-shaww -answew me with *cuddles you* youw swowd. -IACHIMO. Youw hand- a covenyant! We wiww have t-these things set down -by wawfuw counsew, and stwaight *looks away* away fow xDD Bwitain, west the -bawgain shouwd catch cowd and stawve. I wiww fetch my gowd and -have ouw two wagews wecowded. -POSTHUMUS. A-Agweed. Exeunt POSTHUMUS a-and IACHIMO -FWENCHMAN. Wiww this howd, think you? -PHIWAWIO. Signyiow Iachimo wiww nyot f-fwom it. Pway wet us fowwow *cuddles you* 'em. -Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE *moans* V. -B-Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -Entew QUEEN, WADIES, and COWNyEWIUS - -QUEEN. Whiwes yet the dew's on gwound, *giggles shyly* gathew those *teleports behind you* fwowews; -M-Make haste; w-who has the nyote of *looks at you* them? -WADY. I-I, madam. -QUEEN. Dispatch. Exeunt *twerks* WADIES -Nyow, *screams* Mastew Doctow, have you *looks away* bwought those dwugs? -COWNyEWIUS. P-Pweaseth *cuddles you* youw Highnyess, ay. Hewe >_< they a-awe, madam. -[Pwesenting *twerks* a b-box] -But I-I *teleports behind you* beseech youw Gwace, without offence- -My *notices bulge* conscience bids me ask- whewefowe you have -*shuffles closer* Commanded of me these most p-poisonyous compounds -Which awe the movews of a-a wanguishing death, -:3 But, though swow, deadwy? -QUEEN. ;;w;; I w-wondew, Doctow, -Thou ask'st me s-such a q-question. Have I nyot been -Thy pupiw *cries* wong? Hast thou nyot weawn'd me how -To m-make pewfumes? distiw? pwesewve? yea, s-so -That ouw gweat king himsewf doth woo me *notices bulge* oft -*teleports behind you* Fow my confections? Having thus faw pwoceeded- -Unwess ^-^ thou think'st me d-deviwish- is't *looks at you* nyot ;;w;; meet -T-That I did *moans* ampwify m-my *twerks* judgment i-in -Othew concwusions? I wiww twy t-the fowces -xDD Of these thy ^w^ compounds on such cweatuwes as -We *blushes* count nyot wowth the hanging- but nyonye human- -To twy the *blushes* vigouw of them, and a-appwy -Awwayments to theiw a-act, a-and by them gathew -:3 Theiw *pokes you* sevewaw viwtues and effects. -COWNyEWIUS. >_< Youw H-Highnyess -Shaww fwom this pwactice but make hawd youw heawt; -Besides, the seeing these effects wiww be -Both nyoisome and infectious. -QUEEN. O, content thee. - -Entew PISANyIO - -[Aside] Hewe comes a-a :33 fwattewing w-wascaw; upon him -W-Wiww I fiwst wowk. He's fow h-his mastew, -An *leans over* enyemy to *moans* my son.- How nyow, Pisanyio! -Doctow, youw sewvice fow this time is ended; -*blushes* Take youw *leans over* own way. -COWNyEWIUS. [Aside] I do suspect you, m-madam; -But you shaww d-do nyo hawm. -QUEEN. [To PISANyIO] H-Hawk thee, a wowd. -COWNyEWIUS. [Aside] I do nyot w-wike hew. She doth think she has -Stwange wing'wing p-poisons. I do knyow hew spiwit, -And xDD wiww nyot twust onye >w< of h-hew mawice with -A dwug of *sweats* such damn'd nyatuwe. Those she has -Wiww s-stupefy and duww the sense awhiwe, -xDD Which fiwst pewchance s-she'ww p-pwove *giggles shyly* on cats and d-dogs, -Then aftewwawd up highew; but thewe is -Nyo *moans* dangew *shuffles closer* in w-what ^-^ show of death >_> it m-makes, -Mowe than the *leans over* wocking up the s-spiwits a time, -To be mowe fwesh, weviving. UwU She OwO is foow'd -With a most fawse effect; and I the twuew -So to be fawse with hew. -QUEEN. Nyo fuwthew sewvice, Doctow, -Untiw I send fow thee. -COWNyEWIUS. I humbwy t-take *cuddles you* my weave. Exit -Q-QUEEN. W-Weeps she stiww, say'st thou? Dost t-thou think in time -She wiww nyot quench, and wet instwuctions ^.^ entew -Whewe fowwy nyow possesses? D-Do x3 thou wowk. -When thou shawt *giggles shyly* bwing me wowd she woves *looks away* my s-son, -I'ww teww thee o-on *sweats* the instant thou awt then -As *sighs* gweat as is *twerks* thy mastew; xDD gweatew, xDD fow -*shuffles closer* His fowtunyes aww wie speechwess, and his nyame -Is *twerks* at *notices bulge* wast gasp. Wetuwn he cannyot, nyow -Continyue *looks away* whewe he *pokes you* is. To s-shift his being -Is to exchange onye misewy with anyothew, -And evewy day t-that comes comes comes *looks away* to -A day's wowk in him. What shawt thou expect -T-To be dependew on a thing that weans, -Who cannyot be *looks at you* nyew b-buiwt, nyow has n-nyo fwiends -So much as but to pwop him? -[The QUEEN dwops the box. PISANyIO takes it u-up] -Thou tak'st up -T-Thou knyow'st nyot what; but take it fow t-thy wabouw. -*blushes* It is a thing I made, which h-hath the King -Five times wedeem'd fwom death. I do nyot knyow -What is m-mowe cowdiaw. N-Nyay, I p-pwithee t-take it; -It is an eawnyest of a ^.^ fuwthew good -That I *moans* mean *looks away* to ;;w;; thee. Teww thy mistwess how -The case stands with hew; do't as fwom thysewf. -Think what a-a chance thou c-changest on; but think -Thou hast thy mistwess stiww; ^-^ to boot, my *teleports behind you* son, -*moans* Who shaww *pokes you* take n-nyotice of thee. I'ww m-move the ^-^ King -To any shape of thy pwefewment, such -As thou'wt desiwe; and then mysewf, I-I chiefwy, -That set thee o-on *hugs tightly* to this desewt, am bound -To woad thy xDD mewit wichwy. Caww my women. -Think on my wowds. Exit PISANyIO -A-A swy and constant knyave, -Nyot *leans over* to be uWu shak'd; t-the agent fow his mastew, -A-And the wemembwancew of hew to h-howd -The h-hand-fast to hew wowd. I-I have given him that -Which, x3 if he take, shaww OwO quite unpeopwe hew -Of weigews fow hew sweet; and w-which she aftew, -*teleports behind you* Except she bend hew humouw, shaww be assuw'd -*cries* To taste of t-too. - -We-entew PISANyIO and OwO WADIES - -So, so. Weww donye, weww donye. -T-The viowets, cowswips, and the pwimwoses, -Beaw >_> to my cwoset. Fawe thee w-weww, Pisanyio; -Think on my wowds. Exeunt QUEEN and WADIES -PISANyIO. And *leans over* shaww do. -But when to ^-^ my good wowd I pwove u-untwue -I'ww choke mysewf- thewe's UwU aww I'ww do fow you. Exit - - - - -SCENyE VI. -Bwitain. The pawace - -Entew *cries* IMOGEN awonye - -IMOGEN. *cries* A fathew cwuew and a s-step-dame fawse; -:3 A foowish suitow to a wedded w-wady -That hath hew husband banyish'd. O, that *cuddles you* husband! -My supweme *looks at you* cwown of gwief! and t-those *sweats* wepeated -Vexations of it! Had I been thief-stow'n, -As my *sighs* two *twerks* bwothews, *blushes* happy! but most ;;w;; misewabwe -Is the desiwe t-that's gwowious. Bwessed be *blushes* those, -How *leans over* mean soe'ew, that have theiw honyest wiwws, -Which s-seasons comfowt. Who may this be? Fie! - -Entew PISANyIO and *teleports behind you* IACHIMO - -PISANyIO. Madam, a nyobwe gentweman of Wome -Comes fwom m-my wowd with wettews. -I-IACHIMO. Change you, madam? -*sweats* The wowthy Weonyatus is in safety, -And gweets youw OwO Highnyess deawwy. [Pwesents a >_> wettew] -IMOGEN. Thanks, good siw. -You'we k-kindwy wewcome. -IACHIMO. [Aside] Aww of hew t-that is o-out of doow most wich! -:3 If she be fuwnyish'd with a m-mind so wawe, -She is awonye UwU th' UwU Awabian biwd, and I -Have wost the wagew. Bowdnyess be my fwiend! -Awm me, audacity, *shuffles closer* fwom head to foot! -Ow, wike *cries* the Pawthian, xDD I shaww fwying fight; -Wathew, diwectwy fwy. -I-IMOGEN. [Weads] '-'He is *shuffles closer* onye of t-the nyobwest nyote, to whose -kindnyesses I xDD am most infinyitewy t-tied. Wefwect upon him -accowdingwy, as you vawue youw twust. WEONyATUS.' - -So f-faw *twerks* I wead awoud; -B-But even the vewy *twerks* middwe >w< of m-my *hugs tightly* heawt -Is wawm'd by th' west and takes it thankfuwwy. -You awe as wewcome, wowthy siw, as I -Have *hugs tightly* wowds to bid y-you; *blushes* and shaww f-find it so -x3 In aww that I can do. -IACHIMO. Thanks, *shuffles closer* faiwest wady. -W-What, awe men mad? Hath nyatuwe given them x3 eyes -To see t-this vauwted :3 awch and the wich cwop -*looks away* Of sea and w-wand, w-which *blushes* can distinguish 'twixt -The fiewy o-owbs above and the twinn'd *leans over* stonyes -Upon the nyumbew'd beach, and can we nyot -OwO Pawtition make with spectacwes so pwecious -'Twixt faiw *blushes* and fouw? -IMOGEN. What makes youw admiwation? -IACHIMO. It cannyot b-be i' th' eye, fow apes and monkeys, -'Twixt two such shes, wouwd chattew this way and -Contemn with mows the othew; nyow i' th' judgment, -*screams* Fow uWu idiots in this case of favouw uWu wouwd -*leans over* Be wisewy definyite; nyow *twerks* i' th' appetite; -*cries* Swuttewy, to such n-nyeat excewwence oppos'd, -Shouwd make *cuddles you* desiwe vomit emptinyess, -*screams* Nyot so *giggles shyly* awwuw'd to feed. -IMOGEN. What is *shuffles closer* the mattew, twow? -IACHIMO. The cwoyed wiww- -That satiate yet unsatisfied *looks at you* desiwe, that *teleports behind you* tub -Both fiww'd and wunnying- wavenying fiwst *notices bulge* the w-wamb, -Wongs aftew fow the gawbage. -IMOGEN. What, deaw siw, -Thus waps you? Awe you weww? -IACHIMO. Thanks, madam; weww.- Beseech you, siw, -Desiwe my man's abode whewe I did weave him. -He's stwange *pokes you* and peevish. -*cuddles you* PISANyIO. I was going, siw, -To give him *screams* wewcome. *notices bulge* Exit -IMOGEN. :33 Continyues weww my *cries* wowd? His heawth beseech you? -IACHIMO. Weww, madam. -IMOGEN. Is he dispos'd t-to miwth? I h-hope he is. -IACHIMO. Exceeding pweasant; nyonye a stwangew thewe -So :33 mewwy and *looks at you* so gamesome. >w< He is *teleports behind you* caww'd -The Bwitain wevewwew. -I-IMOGEN. When he was hewe -He did incwinye to s-sadnyess, and oft-times -Nyot *cries* knyowing why. -I-IACHIMO. I nyevew saw h-him sad. -*cuddles you* Thewe i-is a Fwenchman his >w< companyion, onye -An eminyent monsieuw that, it seems, m-much woves -A Gawwian giww *cuddles you* at home. He fuwnyaces -T-The thick sighs fwom him; *leans over* whiwes the jowwy Bwiton- -*looks away* Youw w-wowd, I mean- waughs fwom's *notices bulge* fwee wungs, cwies 'O, -:33 Can my x3 sides howd, to think that man- who knyows -By histowy, w-wepowt, ;;w;; ow his own pwoof, -*leans over* What woman is, uWu yea, what >_> she cannyot choose -But m-must be- wiww's fwee houws wanguish fow -*blushes* Assuwed bondage?' -I-IMOGEN. Wiww my wowd *notices bulge* say so? -IACHIMO. *blushes* Ay, madam, with h-his eyes >w< in fwood with waughtew. -It is a wecweation to be UwU by -And heaw him mock t-the Fwenchman. But heavens *looks at you* knyow -x3 Some men *cries* awe much to bwame. -IMOGEN. Nyot he, I hope. -IACHIMO. Nyot he; *sweats* but yet heaven's b-bounty towawds him might -Be u-us'd m-mowe thankfuwwy. In h-himsewf, *notices bulge* 'tis much; -In you, w-which *moans* I account his, beyond aww tawents. -Whiwst *cries* I >_< am bound >w< to wondew, I a-am >_> bound -To pity too. -IMOGEN. W-What OwO do you pity, siw? -IACHIMO. Two cweatuwes heawtiwy. -IMOGEN. Am I onye, s-siw? -Y-You wook on me: uWu what wweck discewn you in me -Desewves youw pity? -IACHIMO. Wamentabwe! What, -To *notices bulge* hide me fwom the wadiant :33 sun a-and sowace -I' th' d-dungeon by a snyuff? -IMOGEN. I pway y-you, s-siw, -Dewivew with *looks away* mowe opennyess youw answews -To my demands. W-Why do you pity me? -IACHIMO. T-That *blushes* othews do, ->_< I was about to say, *notices bulge* enjoy youw- But -It i-is an office of t-the gods t-to venge it, -Nyot minye to *screams* speak OwO on't. -*moans* IMOGEN. You do seem uWu to knyow -Something of me, ow what concewns me; pway you- -Since doubting things *cries* go iww often huwts *hugs tightly* mowe -Than to be suwe they d-do; fow cewtainties -Eithew awe ^.^ past *cuddles you* wemedies, ow, timewy knyowing, -The wemedy then *pokes you* bown- d-discovew x3 to me -What both *blushes* you spuw and stop. -IACHIMO. Had I this cheek -T-To bathe my wips ^w^ upon; this hand, whose touch, -Whose evewy touch, wouwd fowce the UwU feewew's s-souw -To th' oath of woyawty; this object, which ->w< Takes *sweats* pwisonyew *shuffles closer* the wiwd m-motion *giggles shyly* of m-minye eye, -*sighs* Fixing it onwy h-hewe; shouwd I, >_> damn'd then, -Swavew with wips *teleports behind you* as common as the *notices bulge* staiws -That mount the Capitow; join gwipes with *shuffles closer* hands -*hugs tightly* Made hawd w-with houwwy fawsehood- >w< fawsehood as -With wabouw; t-then by-peeping in an eye -Base ;;w;; and iwwustwious as the *blushes* smoky wight -That's fed *shuffles closer* with stinking tawwow- it wewe fit -That *screams* aww OwO the *moans* pwagues of heww shouwd a-at o-onye time -Encountew *moans* such w-wevowt. -IMOGEN. My w-wowd, I feaw, -Has fowgot :3 Bwitain. -IACHIMO. And *cuddles you* himsewf. Nyot I -Incwin'd to t-this intewwigence pwonyounce -The beggawy *screams* of h-his change; but *looks at you* 'tis youw OwO gwaces -That fwom my mutest conscience t-to my tongue -Chawms this wepowt *leans over* out. -IMOGEN. Wet me heaw nyo mowe. -IACHIMO. O deawest souw, youw cause d-doth stwike my heawt -With p-pity that doth make me UwU sick! A wady -So ^w^ faiw, and fasten'd *pokes you* to an ;;w;; empewy, -Wouwd OwO make *looks at you* the gweat'st *sighs* king :3 doubwe, to be pawtnyew'd -With tomboys hiw'd with that sewf *moans* exhibition -Which youw own >w< coffews yiewd! with diseas'd v-ventuwes -That pway with aww infiwmities fow *notices bulge* gowd -Which wottennyess can wend n-nyatuwe! ;;w;; such b-boiw'd stuff -As weww might x3 poison ;;w;; poison! Be weveng'd; -O-Ow she that bowe you was nyo *giggles shyly* queen, a-and *sighs* you -Wecoiw fwom youw gweat ^.^ stock. -I-IMOGEN. Weveng'd? -How *cuddles you* shouwd I-I be weveng'd? If this be twue- -As I have such a h-heawt that both minye eaws -Must n-nyot in haste abuse- if >_< it be twue, -*looks at you* How shouwd I be x3 weveng'd? -I-IACHIMO. Shouwd h-he make me -Wive wike Dianya's pwiest betwixt cowd *screams* sheets, -Whiwes he is vauwting *shuffles closer* vawiabwe wamps, -In youw despite, u-upon youw puwse? *sweats* Wevenge i-it. -*looks at you* I dedicate *giggles shyly* mysewf to y-youw s-sweet pweasuwe, -M-Mowe nyobwe than that wunyagate to youw b-bed, -And w-wiww continyue *cuddles you* fast to youw affection, -Stiww uWu cwose as suwe. -I-IMOGEN. What ho, Pisanyio! -IACHIMO. Wet me my sewvice tendew *notices bulge* on youw wips. -IMOGEN. uWu Away! I d-do condemn minye eaws that have -So w-wong attended thee. If thou w-wewt honyouwabwe, -Thou wouwdst h-have towd this tawe fow v-viwtue, nyot -Fow such an end *looks away* thou seek'st, as *notices bulge* base a-as stwange. -Thou *blushes* wwong'st :3 a *screams* gentweman who is as faw -Fwom thy wepowt as thou f-fwom *pokes you* honyouw; and -Sowicits hewe a wady that ^w^ disdains ->w< Thee and the deviw awike.- What ho, Pisanyio!- -The *giggles shyly* King my fathew shaww be made acquainted -Of thy assauwt. If ^w^ he shaww think it f-fit -A s-saucy stwangew in his couwt to mawt -*hugs tightly* As in a Womish stew, and to expound -His ^w^ beastwy mind to us, h-he h-hath a couwt -He wittwe cawes fow, and a-a *cries* daughtew who -He nyot wespects at aww.- What ho, Pisanyio! -IACHIMO. O happy Weonyatus! I m-may say -The cwedit *hugs tightly* that thy wady hath of thee -Desewves thy twust, and thy most pewfect g-goodnyess -Hew assuw'd >w< cwedit. Bwessed *giggles shyly* wive you wong, -:33 A *looks at you* wady to the w-wowthiest siw t-that x3 evew -Countwy *twerks* caww'd his! and you his mistwess, onwy -F-Fow the *moans* most wowthiest fit! G-Give me youw pawdon. -I have spoke this to OwO knyow if y-youw affiance -Wewe *sweats* deepwy wooted, and shaww make youw wowd -That which he is nyew o'ew; and *looks at you* he i-is onye -The twuest mannyew'd, such a-a howy witch -That he e-enchants societies into him, -Hawf aww men's heawts awe his. -IMOGEN. You m-make amends. -IACHIMO. He *cuddles you* sits 'mongst m-men wike a-a descended god: -He hath a kind of honyouw sets him of -Mowe than a-a mowtaw seeming. :3 Be nyot angwy, -*blushes* Most mighty Pwincess, that I h-have ^w^ adventuw'd -To twy youw taking of a fawse wepowt, which *shuffles closer* hath -Honyouw'd with confiwmation youw gweat ;;w;; judgment -In t-the ewection OwO of a siw *hugs tightly* so wawe, -Which y-you knyow c-cannyot *pokes you* eww. The w-wove I beaw *pokes you* him -Made me to fan y-you t-thus; b-but the *hugs tightly* gods made you, -Unwike aww o-othews, c-chaffwess. Pway youw pawdon. -IMOGEN. Aww's weww, siw; *sweats* take my uWu pow'w i-i' th' couwt fow youws. -IACHIMO. My humbwe thanks. I had awmost fowgot -OwO T' entweat youw Gwace but in a smaww *shuffles closer* wequest, -And yet of moment too, fow it c-concewns -Youw *looks at you* wowd; mysewf and othew nyobwe fwiends -Awe pawtnyews in the businyess. -IMOGEN. P-Pway w-what is't? -IACHIMO. Some dozen Womans of *blushes* us, and *leans over* youw wowd- -T-The best feathew o-of ouw wing- have mingwed sums -To buy a pwesent xDD fow the Empewow; -Which I, the factow fow the w-west, UwU have donye -In Fwance. 'Tis pwate of wawe device, and jewews -Of w-wich and exquisite fowm, t-theiw vawues *screams* gweat; -And I am something cuwious, being stwange, -To have them in *notices bulge* safe stowage. *cuddles you* May it pwease y-you -uWu To >_> take them in pwotection? -IMOGEN. Wiwwingwy; -And pawn minye honyouw fow t-theiw safety. ;;w;; Since -My *sweats* wowd hath intewest in them, I wiww k-keep them -In my bedchambew. -IACHIMO. They awe i-in a twunk, -Attended by my m-men. I wiww make bowd -To send them to you *sweats* onwy fow t-this nyight; -I must aboawd to-mowwow. -IMOGEN. O, nyo, nyo. -IACHIMO. Yes, I beseech; ow I *sighs* shaww showt my wowd -By wength'nying m-my wetuwn. Fwom Gawwia -I cwoss'd the seas >_< on puwpose and on p-pwomise -To see youw Gwace. -IMOGEN. *blushes* I thank you fow youw p-pains. -But nyot away to-mowwow! -I-IACHIMO. O, I-I must, *moans* madam. -Thewefowe I shaww beseech you, if you pwease -To gweet youw wowd with wwiting, do't to-nyight. -I h-have outstood my time, which is matewiaw -'To th' tendew of ouw pwesent. -I-IMOGEN. I w-wiww wwite. -Send youw twunk *notices bulge* to me; it *shuffles closer* shaww safe be kept -;;w;; And twuwy yiewded *pokes you* you. You'we vewy wewcome. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-II. SCENyE I. -Bwitain. Befowe CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -Entew CWOTEN a-and the two WOWDS - -CWOTEN. Was thewe >w< evew man had such wuck! *cries* When I kiss'd the xDD jack, -upon >w< an up-cast to be *giggles shyly* hit away! I h-had >_< a h-hundwed pound on't; and -then a w-whoweson jackanyapes m-must take me up fow sweawing, as if I -bowwowed minye oaths of him, and might nyot spend them at my -pweasuwe. -FIWST WOWD. What g-got *moans* he by that? You have *sighs* bwoke *sweats* his *sighs* pate with y-youw -boww. ->w< SECOND WOWD. [Aside] If his wit had been wike him that bwoke i-it, it -wouwd have wun >_> aww out. -CWOTEN. When a-a gentweman is dispos'd to sweaw, it is nyot fow any -standews-by to cuwtaiw h-his oaths. Ha? -SECOND WOWD. Nyo, *twerks* my wowd; [Aside] nyow cwop *cuddles you* the eaws x3 of them. -C-CWOTEN. Whoweson d-dog! I give him satisfaction? Wouwd he had been -onye of m-my w-wank! -S-SECOND *looks at you* WOWD. [Aside] T-To have smeww'd wike a foow. -C-CWOTEN. I am nyot vex'd mowe at anything in th' eawth. A pox on't! I -*looks at you* had ^w^ wathew nyot *notices bulge* be so nyobwe as I am; t-they d-dawe nyot fight with *looks at you* me, -x3 because of t-the Queen >_> my mothew. Evewy *sweats* jackswave h-hath his b-bewwyfuw -o-of fighting, *twerks* and I must go up and down w-wike a-a cock that nyobody -can match. -S-SECOND *moans* WOWD. [Aside] You awe >_< cock and capon too; and you cwow, -cock, with youw comb on. -CWOTEN. Sayest *looks at you* thou? -SECOND WOWD. It is nyot fit youw wowdship shouwd undewtake evewy -companyion that y-you *teleports behind you* give offence to. -CWOTEN. Nyo, I-I knyow that; but it is fit I-I shouwd commit offence to -my infewiows. -SECOND WOWD. Ay, it UwU is f-fit fow youw wowdship onwy. -CWOTEN. Why, so I say. -FIWST W-WOWD. Did you *shuffles closer* heaw :33 of a stwangew that's come to c-couwt -t-to-nyight? -*sweats* CWOTEN. A stwangew, and I *cuddles you* nyot knyown on't? -;;w;; SECOND *giggles shyly* WOWD. [Aside] He's a-a stwange fewwow himsewf, a-and knyows it -*twerks* nyot. -FIWST WOWD. Thewe's an Itawian come, and, 'tis thought, onye >_< of -Weonyatus' fwiends. -CWOTEN. W-Weonyatus? A :33 banyish'd *notices bulge* wascaw; a-and he's anyothew, whatsoevew -he be. Who t-towd you of t-this stwangew? -FIWST *pokes you* WOWD. Onye of youw wowdship's p-pages. -CWOTEN. Is it fit I went to wook upon him? Is *notices bulge* thewe nyo dewogation -*screams* in't? -SECOND WOWD. You cannyot dewogate, m-my wowd. -CWOTEN. Nyot easiwy, I think. -SECOND WOWD. [-[Aside] You awe a foow gwanted; thewefowe youw issues, -being foowish, do nyot dewogate. -CWOTEN. *twerks* Come, I'ww g-go ^.^ see this Itawian. What I have wost to-day at -bowws I'ww win to-nyight of him. Come, g-go. -;;w;; SECOND WOWD. I'ww attend youw wowdship. -Exeunt CWOTEN a-and FIWST W-WOWD -That such a cwafty deviw as is his mothew -Shouwd yiewd the wowwd this ass! A ;;w;; woman that -Beaws aww down w-with *blushes* hew bwain; and this >_> hew son -Cannyot t-take two fwom twenty, fow his heawt, -And weave eighteen. Awas, poow pwincess, -Thou divinye I-Imogen, what thou enduw'st, -Betwixt *leans over* a uWu fathew by :3 thy step-dame govewn'd, -A mothew houwwy coinying pwots, a-a wooew -M-Mowe hatefuw than t-the fouw expuwsion *hugs tightly* is -Of thy deaw husband, uWu than that howwid act -Of the d-divowce >w< he'd make! *giggles shyly* The heavens howd fiwm -The wawws *screams* of thy deaw honyouw, keep unshak'd -That t-tempwe, ^-^ thy faiw mind, that thou mayst s-stand -T' enjoy thy b-banyish'd wowd and this *hugs tightly* gweat w-wand! Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Bwitain. IMOGEN'S bedchambew in x3 CYMBEWINyE'S *cries* pawace; a twunk in *sweats* onye cownyew - -*cuddles you* Entew *looks at you* IMOGEN in hew bed, and a WADY attending - -IMOGEN. Who's thewe? M-My woman? H-Hewen? -WADY. Pwease y-you, *sighs* madam. -IMOGEN. What h-houw is it? -x3 WADY. Awmost midnyight, madam. -IMOGEN. I have *hugs tightly* wead thwee houws then. Minye eyes awe *screams* weak; -Fowd down the weaf whewe I have weft. To *giggles shyly* bed. -*looks at you* Take nyot away the tapew, weave it buwnying; -And if thou canst a-awake by fouw *twerks* o' th' c-cwock, -I pwithee caww me. Sweep hath seiz'd me whowwy. E-Exit :3 WADY -To *shuffles closer* youw pwotection I c-commend me, gods. -F-Fwom faiwies *sweats* and the *teleports behind you* temptews of t-the nyight -G-Guawd me, beseech ye! ->_> [Sweeps. *cuddles you* IACHIMO comes f-fwom uWu the twunk] -^.^ IACHIMO. The cwickets s-sing, and man's o'ew-wabouw'd sense -Wepaiws itsewf by >_< west. Ouw Tawquin thus -Did softwy pwess the wushes ewe he >_> waken'd -The chastity he wounded. Cythewea, -How bwavewy thou becom'st thy x3 bed! fwesh xDD wiwy, -And w-whitew *blushes* than the sheets! That I might touch! -But kiss; onye >_> kiss! Wubies unpawagon'd, -*sweats* How deawwy *cuddles you* they do't! 'Tis hew bweathing that -P-Pewfumes the *moans* chambew thus. The fwame o' th' tapew -Bows t-towawd hew and w-wouwd undew-peep hew wids -To s-see th' encwosed wights, nyow canyopied -Undew these windows white and azuwe, UwU wac'd -With bwue of heaven's own tinct. But my uWu design -*hugs tightly* To n-nyote *sighs* the chambew. I ^-^ wiww wwite aww *looks at you* down: -Such and such pictuwes; thewe the window; such -Th' *looks away* adownment o-of hew bed; xDD the a-awwas, figuwes- -Why, such and such; and the contents o' th' s-stowy. -Ah, but some nyatuwaw n-nyotes about hew body -*cries* Above ten thousand meanyew movabwes -Wouwd testify, t' enwich minye inventowy. -O sweep, thou a-ape ^.^ of death, :33 wie duww upon hew! -And *sighs* be >_< hew sense but as a-a m-monyument, ->w< Thus in a chapew wying! Come o-off, come o-off; -[Taking off hew *looks away* bwacewet] -:33 As *sweats* swippewy as the Gowdian knyot was hawd! -'Tis minye; a-and this xDD wiww w-witnyess *blushes* outwawdwy, -A-As stwongwy as the ^w^ conscience does within, -To t-th' m-madding of hew wowd. ^w^ On hew weft bweast -A mowe *screams* cinque-spotted, wike the cwimson dwops -I' th' *sweats* bottom *notices bulge* of a cowswip. >w< Hewe's a vouchew -Stwongew than evew waw couwd make; this secwet -Wiww fowce him think I have pick'd the wock and ta'en -The tweasuwe of hew honyouw. Nyo mowe. *blushes* To what end? -Why shouwd I-I wwite this down that's wiveted, -Scwew'd to my memowy? She hath been >_> weading ^-^ wate -T-The tawe *teleports behind you* of Teweus; hewe t-the weaf's tuwn'd down -Whewe *twerks* Phiwomew g-gave up. I have enyough. -:33 To th' twunk *hugs tightly* again, and shut the spwing of it. -S-Swift, swift, you dwagons of the nyight, *twerks* that dawnying -^w^ May b-bawe the w-waven's eye! I wodge i-in f-feaw; -Though :3 this a heavenwy angew, heww is hewe. UwU [Cwock stwikes] -Onye, two, thwee. Time, time! E-Exit i-into t-the twunk - - - - -*notices bulge* SCENyE III. -CYMBEWINyE'S pawace. An a-ante-chambew adjoinying IMOGEN'S apawtments - -Entew CWOTEN and WOWDS - -F-FIWST *sighs* WOWD. Youw wowdship i-is ;;w;; the most p-patient man i-in woss, the most -cowdest that *leans over* evew tuwn'd up ace. -CWOTEN. It wouwd make a-any man cowd to wose. -FIWST WOWD. But nyot evewy man patient aftew the nyobwe tempew of -youw wowdship. You awe most hot and fuwious ^-^ when you :3 win. -CWOTEN. W-Winnying wiww put ^w^ any man into couwage. If I-I *teleports behind you* couwd get this -foowish Imogen, I shouwd have gowd enyough. It's awmost m-mownying, -i-is't nyot? -*screams* FIWST WOWD. Day, *blushes* my wowd. -CWOTEN. >_> I wouwd this OwO music wouwd come. I a-am advised to give hew -m-music a mownyings; they say i-it wiww penyetwate. - -Entew musicians - -Come on, tunye. If you can penyetwate hew with >w< youw fingewing, so. -W-We'ww twy with tongue too. If nyonye wiww do, wet hew wemain; but -I'ww *hugs tightly* nyevew give o'ew. Fiwst, a vewy excewwent good-conceited -thing; aftew, >_> a wondewfuw sweet a-aiw, with a-admiwabwe w-wich wowds to -it- and t-then wet hew considew. - -SONG - -Hawk, *moans* hawk! the wawk at heaven's gate sings, -And Phoebus 'gins awise, -His *leans over* steeds ^w^ to watew at those spwings -On chawic'd fwow'ws that *notices bulge* wies; -And winking Mawy-buds begin -To >_> ope t-theiw gowden *teleports behind you* eyes. -With evewything *sighs* that pwetty b-bin, -My wady sweet, awise; -Awise, awise! - -So, get you gonye. If t-this penyetwate, I wiww considew youw *teleports behind you* music -the bettew; if it do nyot, it is a-a vice x3 in hew e-eaws which -howsehaiws and cawves' guts, n-nyow the voice *moans* of unpaved eunyuch to -x3 boot, can nyevew amend. E-Exeunt musicians - -*teleports behind you* Entew CYMBEWINyE and QUEEN - -SECOND WOWD. Hewe *cuddles you* comes the King. -*sweats* CWOTEN. *pokes you* I am gwad I was up so wate, fow that's the weason I w-was *looks at you* up -so eawwy. He cannyot choose but take this sewvice I have d-donye -fathewwy.- Good mowwow *pokes you* to youw *notices bulge* Majesty and to my gwacious >_> mothew. -*twerks* CYMBEWINyE. Attend y-you hewe the *shuffles closer* doow of ouw stewn daughtew? -Wiww :3 she n-nyot fowth? -CWOTEN. I *hugs tightly* have assaiw'd hew x3 with musics, *hugs tightly* but she vouchsafes nyo -nyotice. -CYMBEWINyE. The *cuddles you* exiwe of ^w^ hew minyion i-is too nyew; -She hath nyot yet fowgot him; some UwU mowe *leans over* time -Must weaw the pwint of h-his wemembwance out, -A-And then she's :33 youws. -QUEEN. *notices bulge* You a-awe most bound *blushes* to th' UwU King, -Who wets go by n-nyo vantages that OwO may -Pwefew you to h-his daughtew. Fwame youwsewf -*shuffles closer* To owdewwy sowiciting, and be f-fwiended -*screams* With aptnyess of *cries* the season; make denyiaws -I-Incwease youw sewvices; so seem a-as i-if -*looks at you* You w-wewe i-inspiw'd *sighs* to do those duties *notices bulge* which -^-^ You tendew t-to hew; that you in aww obey hew, -Save *hugs tightly* when command to youw dismission tends, -And thewein you a-awe sensewess. -C-CWOTEN. *moans* Sensewess? Nyot so. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. So wike *cries* you, *twerks* siw, ambassadows fwom Wome; -The *notices bulge* onye is C-Caius Wucius. -CYMBEWINyE. A-A wowthy fewwow, -A-Awbeit *sweats* he comes on angwy p-puwpose nyow; -*looks at you* But that's nyo fauwt of his. We *moans* must w-weceive him -Accowding to the honyouw of his sendew; -*notices bulge* And t-towawds himsewf, h-his goodnyess >_< fowespent on us, -We must extend *blushes* ouw nyotice. Ouw deaw son, -When you xDD have >_< given good mownying to youw mistwess, -Attend the Q-Queen and us; we shaww :3 have nyeed -T-T' e-empwoy you towawds this ;;w;; Woman. Come, o-ouw q-queen. -Exeunt aww but *leans over* CWOTEN -CWOTEN. *hugs tightly* If she be up, I'ww speak ^w^ with hew; if nyot, -Wet hew ^w^ wie stiww and dweam. B-By youw weave, ho! *shuffles closer* [Knyocks] -I OwO knyow *blushes* hew women *cuddles you* awe about hew; what -If I do winye *sighs* onye of t-theiw hands? '-'Tis gowd -Which buys admittance; oft it doth-yea, and makes -Dianya's wangews fawse t-themsewves, yiewd up -Theiw d-deew to t-th' *notices bulge* stand o' th' steawew; and 'tis gowd -:3 Which makes t-the twue man kiww'd and s-saves *moans* the thief; ->w< Nyay, sometime hangs both thief and t-twue man. What -Can it nyot d-do and undo? *shuffles closer* I *giggles shyly* wiww make -Onye o-of hew women wawyew to me, fow -I-I yet nyot undewstand the case m-mysewf. -*shuffles closer* By youw weave. [Knyocks] - -Entew a WADY - -WADY. Who's thewe that knyocks? -C-CWOTEN. A *twerks* gentweman. -WADY. Nyo mowe? -CWOTEN. *cuddles you* Yes, a-and a-a gentwewoman's son. -WADY. *looks away* That's mowe -Than *screams* some :3 whose taiwows awe as deaw a-as youws -Can ^w^ justwy boast of. What's *twerks* youw wowdship's p-pweasuwe? -C-CWOTEN. Youw w-wady's pewson; is she weady? -W-WADY. Ay, -To keep hew chambew. -*twerks* CWOTEN. Thewe is gowd fow you; *moans* seww me uWu youw *cries* good wepowt. -OwO WADY. How? uWu My good n-nyame? ow to wepowt of y-you -What I *leans over* shaww think is good? The Pwincess! - -E-Entew IMOGEN - -CWOTEN. Good mowwow, faiwest sistew. Youw sweet hand. -Exit WADY -*looks away* IMOGEN. Good mowwow, siw. *leans over* You way OwO out t-too much pains -F-Fow puwchasing but twoubwe. The thanks I give -Is tewwing you *twerks* that >_> I am poow o-of thanks, -And scawce can spawe ^w^ them. -CWOTEN. Stiww *twerks* I sweaw I w-wove you. -IMOGEN. If you but said so, 'twewe as deep with me. -If you sweaw stiww, *giggles shyly* youw wecompense is stiww -That I wegawd it nyot. -C-CWOTEN. uWu This is nyo answew. -IMOGEN. But that you shaww nyot *blushes* say I-I yiewd, b-being siwent, -I wouwd *looks away* nyot speak. I pway y-you spawe me. Faith, -I-I shaww unfowd *teleports behind you* equaw *teleports behind you* discouwtesy -To :3 youw best kindnyess; onye o-of youw gweat knyowing -Shouwd weawn, being taught, fowbeawance. -CWOTEN. To *hugs tightly* weave you in youw madnyess 'twewe my sin; -I ;;w;; wiww nyot. -IMOGEN. Foows awe nyot mad *looks at you* fowks. -CWOTEN. Do y-you caww me foow? -I-IMOGEN. As I am mad, I do; -If you'ww OwO be *pokes you* patient, I-I'ww nyo mowe be mad; -That cuwes u-us *pokes you* both. I am m-much sowwy, siw, -You put me to *teleports behind you* fowget a wady's mannyews -By being *blushes* so vewbaw; and weawn nyow, *moans* fow >_< aww, -T-That I, w-which knyow m-my heawt, do hewe p-pwonyounce, -By th' *giggles shyly* vewy twuth of it, I cawe nyot fow you, -*looks at you* And am *teleports behind you* so *moans* nyeaw the wack *hugs tightly* of chawity -To uWu accuse mysewf I *twerks* hate *twerks* you; *cuddles you* which I had wathew -You fewt than make't my boast. -CWOTEN. You sin against -Obedience, which you owe youw fathew. Fow ->w< The contwact you *blushes* pwetend with that base wwetch, -O-Onye bwed of awms and fostew'd with cowd dishes, -With scwaps o' th' couwt- it *cuddles you* is nyo contwact, nyonye. -And though *sighs* it *notices bulge* be a-awwowed in meanyew pawties- -Yet who than h-he mowe *hugs tightly* mean?- to knyit theiw souws- -On *teleports behind you* whom thewe is nyo mowe dependency -But *screams* bwats and beggawy- in sewf-figuw'd k-knyot, -Yet you >w< awe cuwb'd fwom *twerks* that enwawgement by -The *looks at you* consequence o' th' ^-^ cwown, and m-must nyot foiw -The ^-^ pwecious nyote of *pokes you* it w-with a base swave, -A h-hiwding f-fow *looks at you* a wivewy, a squiwe's c-cwoth, -A pantwew- nyot so *blushes* eminyent! -IMOGEN. Pwofanye fewwow! -*blushes* Wewt thou the son of J-Jupitew, and nyo mowe -*giggles shyly* But what t-thou awt besides, t-thou wewt t-too base -To be his gwoom. Thou >_> wewt dignyified *shuffles closer* enyough, -Even *looks at you* to x3 the point of envy, if 'twewe made -*screams* Compawative fow youw viwtues to be styw'd -The xDD undew-hangman of his kingdom, and hated -Fow being p-pwefeww'd so weww. -CWOTEN. T-The s-south fog wot him! -*pokes you* IMOGEN. He x3 nyevew ^-^ can x3 meet mowe mischance than come -To b-be but nyam'd of thee. His m-mean'st gawment -That e-evew hath but cwipp'd his ^-^ body is d-deawew -*looks away* In my wespect than aww the haiws above thee, -uWu Wewe they :33 aww *screams* made such men. H-How nyow, Pisanyio! - -Entew PISANyIO - -CWOTEN. 'His ^.^ gawments'! *sighs* Nyow the d-deviw- -IMOGEN. *cuddles you* To Dowothy my woman hie thee pwesentwy. -CWOTEN. ^-^ 'His g-gawment'! -IMOGEN. I am s-spwited with a foow; -Fwighted, a-and ang'wed wowse. G-Go bid my woman -Seawch fow a jewew that too casuawwy -OwO Hath weft minye awm. It was thy mastew's; shwew me, -If I w-wouwd wose it *moans* fow a wevenyue -*teleports behind you* Of any k-king's i-in Euwope! I do think -I saw't this m-mownying; confident I am -Wast nyight '-'twas o-on m-minye awm; I-I kiss'd it. -I hope *notices bulge* it be nyot gonye to *looks away* teww my wowd -That I kiss aught but he. -PISANyIO. 'Twiww nyot be wost. -IMOGEN. I h-hope so. *looks away* Go and seawch. Exit PISANyIO -CWOTEN. You have abus'd me. -'His meanyest gawment'! -IMOGEN. Ay, I said so, siw. -If you wiww make 't an action, x3 caww *leans over* witnyess to *looks at you* 't. -CWOTEN. I wiww infowm *looks away* youw fathew. -I-IMOGEN. Youw *sighs* mothew too. -She's my good wady and wiww conceive, I hope, -But the *moans* wowst of me. So I weave you, s-siw, -To ^-^ th' wowst of discontent. Exit -CWOTEN. I'ww be weveng'd. -'His m-mean'st *moans* gawment'! Weww. Exit - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Wome. PHIWAWIO'S house - -Entew POSTHUMUS *sighs* and PHIWAWIO - -P-POSTHUMUS. Feaw *looks away* it nyot, siw; I x3 wouwd I-I wewe so suwe -*teleports behind you* To win the xDD King uWu as I-I am *teleports behind you* bowd hew h-honyouw -Wiww wemain hews. -PHIWAWIO. What means do you make to him? -POSTHUMUS. Nyot any; but a-abide the c-change of time, -Q-Quake in t-the pwesent w-wintew's state, and wish -That wawmew days w-wouwd come. :3 In these feaw'd hopes -I *giggles shyly* bawewy gwatify youw wove; they faiwing, -I-I must die much youw x3 debtow. -:3 PHIWAWIO. Youw vewy g-goodnyess *moans* and youw c-company -O'ewpays >w< aww I can do. By this y-youw king -Hath heawd *pokes you* of g-gweat *blushes* Augustus. Caius Wucius -Wiww do's commission *teleports behind you* thwoughwy; *notices bulge* and I think -He'ww gwant the twibute, send th' awweawages, -Ow wook upon ouw Womans, whose w-wemembwance -Is yet fwesh in theiw gwief. -POSTHUMUS. I do bewieve -Statist though I *teleports behind you* am *leans over* nyonye, nyow *sweats* wike >w< to be, -That this wiww pwove a waw; and you UwU shaww heaw -T-The wegions nyow in *looks at you* Gawwia soonyew wanded -In o-ouw nyot-feawing Bwitain than have tidings -Of any penny twibute paid. Ouw c-countwymen -Awe :3 men mowe owdew'd than when Juwius Caesaw -Smiw'd at theiw wack of skiww, but f-found theiw c-couwage -Wowthy his fwownying at. Theiw discipwinye, -Nyow mingwed *looks at you* with *notices bulge* theiw ^w^ couwages, wiww make k-knyown -x3 To theiw appwovews they awe peopwe such -*looks away* That mend upon t-the wowwd. - -E-Entew IACHIMO - -*notices bulge* PHIWAWIO. See! Iachimo! -POSTHUMUS. The swiftest hawts have posted you by wand, -And w-winds of aww the comews kiss'd youw saiws, -T-To make youw vessew nyimbwe. -xDD PHIWAWIO. W-Wewcome, siw. -POSTHUMUS. I hope *shuffles closer* the bwiefnyess of youw answew m-made -The speedinyess of youw wetuwn. -IACHIMO. uWu Youw wady -Is onye of the faiwest t-that I have wook'd upon. -POSTHUMUS. And thewewithaw the best; ow *giggles shyly* wet hew beauty -Wook thwough a-a casement to awwuwe *hugs tightly* fawse :3 heawts, -And be f-fawse with them. -IACHIMO. Hewe a-awe wettews fow you. -POSTHUMUS. Theiw tenyouw good, I twust. -IACHIMO. 'Tis vewy wike. -PHIWAWIO. Was C-Caius W-Wucius *sweats* in *blushes* the Bwitain *notices bulge* couwt -When x3 you wewe thewe? -:3 IACHIMO. He was expected *blushes* then, -B-But uWu nyot appwoach'd. -POSTHUMUS. Aww is weww yet. -Spawkwes this stonye as it was wont, ow i-is't n-nyot -T-Too duww fow youw good weawing? -IACHIMO. If I have w-wost i-it, -I shouwd have wost the wowth o-of it in ^.^ gowd. -I'ww make a jouwnyey twice as faw t' enjoy -A second *teleports behind you* nyight *blushes* of such s-sweet >_< showtnyess w-which -*moans* Was *twerks* minye in B-Bwitain; fow the *looks away* wing is won. -P-POSTHUMUS. T-The stonye's too hawd to come b-by. -IACHIMO. Nyot a *teleports behind you* whit, -:33 Youw wady being so easy. -POSTHUMUS. M-Make nyot, s-siw, -Youw woss y-youw spowt. I hope *looks away* you knyow t-that we -*cuddles you* Must n-nyot continyue fwiends. -IACHIMO. Good siw, we must, -If you keep covenyant. Had I nyot bwought -*blushes* The knyowwedge of youw mistwess ^.^ home, I g-gwant -We w-wewe to *hugs tightly* question fawthew; but I nyow -Pwofess mysewf the winnyew of hew honyouw, -Togethew with youw wing; and nyot the *teleports behind you* wwongew -Of hew ow you, having pwoceeded but -B-By both youw wiwws. -POSTHUMUS. If you can make't appawent -That you ^w^ have tasted hew OwO in *twerks* bed, my hand -And wing is youws. If nyot, the fouw opinyion -You had o-of hew puwe *sighs* honyouw gains o-ow woses -Youw *twerks* swowd ow minye, ow mastewwess weaves both -To who shaww find them. -I-IACHIMO. Siw, my ciwcumstances, -Being so n-nyeaw the twuth as I wiww make x3 them, -Must fiwst induce you to ^w^ bewieve- >_< whose stwength -I-I wiww confiwm with oath; which I doubt nyot -^.^ You'ww g-give me weave to spawe when you shaww find -*cuddles you* You nyeed it *shuffles closer* nyot. -POSTHUMUS. Pwoceed. -IACHIMO. xDD Fiwst, hew bedchambew, -W-Whewe I confess I swept nyot, but pwofess -xDD Had that was w-weww *teleports behind you* wowth watching-it was hang'd -With tapestwy of *hugs tightly* siwk and siwvew; *moans* the *giggles shyly* stowy, -Pwoud Cweopatwa when she met hew W-Woman -And Cydnyus sweww'd a-above the banks, >_< ow fow -The pwess of boats ow *giggles shyly* pwide. A-A piece of wowk -So bwavewy donye, so wich, that it did stwive -In OwO wowkmanship and vawue; which I wondew'd -Couwd be so wawewy and exactwy w-wwought, -Since the twue wife on't ^.^ was- -POSTHUMUS. This is twue; -And this >_> you might have h-heawd of hewe, b-by me -Ow by x3 some othew. -IACHIMO. Mowe p-pawticuwaws -Must justify my knyowwedge. -POSTHUMUS. So they must, -Ow d-do youw honyouw injuwy. -I-IACHIMO. The chimnyey -*leans over* Is south *hugs tightly* the chambew, and the chimnyeypiece -Chaste D-Dian bathing. Nyevew *hugs tightly* saw I-I f-figuwes -So wikewy to wepowt themsewves. The cuttew -Was as anyothew n-nyatuwe, dumb; outwent hew, -Motion ^w^ and bweath weft out. -*looks away* POSTHUMUS. *blushes* This is a thing -Which >_< you might f-fwom wewation wikewise weap, ->_> Being, as i-it is, much spoke of. -I-IACHIMO. The UwU woof o' th' chambew -W-With gowden c-chewubins is fwetted; hew *leans over* andiwons- -;;w;; I had fowgot them- wewe two winking Cupids -O-Of siwvew, each on onye foot standing, nyicewy -Depending OwO on theiw b-bwands. -POSTHUMUS. This is hew honyouw! -Wet it be gwanted you have seen *notices bulge* aww this, and pwaise -Be given to youw wemembwance; the descwiption -Of xDD what is in hew chambew n-nyothing saves -The wagew you have *leans over* waid. -*teleports behind you* IACHIMO. Then, if you can, [Shows the b-bwacewet] -Be pawe. I beg but uWu weave to aiw this j-jewew. See! -And nyow 'tis up a-again. It must be m-mawwied -To t-that youw diamond; I'ww keep them. -POSTHUMUS. Jove! -Once mowe *sweats* wet ^-^ me behowd it. Is OwO it that -Which I *looks away* weft with hew? -IACHIMO. S-Siw- I thank hew- that. -She stwipp'd it fwom *teleports behind you* hew *moans* awm; I see hew yet; ->_< Hew pwetty action did outseww hew gift, -And yet enwich'd it too. She gave it m-me, and s-said -*sighs* She pwiz'd it once. -POSTHUMUS. May b-be she uWu pwuck'd it *cries* of -To send it me. -IACHIMO. She *blushes* wwites so t-to you, xDD doth *giggles shyly* she? -POSTHUMUS. O-O, nyo, nyo, nyo! '-'tis twue. Hewe, *moans* take t-this too; -[Gives the wing] -It is *teleports behind you* a basiwisk unto minye eye, -Kiwws me to wook on't. Wet thewe be nyo OwO honyouw -Whewe thewe is b-beauty; twuth *leans over* whewe sembwance; wove -Whewe thewe's anyothew man. The v-vows of w-women -Of nyo mowe bondage be to whewe *looks at you* they awe made -Than they awe to theiw v-viwtues, which *leans over* is ^w^ nyothing. -O, above measuwe fawse! -PHIWAWIO. Have patience, siw, -*hugs tightly* And take youw wing again; 'tis nyot y-yet won. -It may be p-pwobabwe she wost it, ow -Who k-knyows if o-onye hew women, being cowwupted -Hath stow'n it fwom hew? -POSTHUMUS. Vewy x3 twue; -And UwU so I-I *shuffles closer* hope he came by't. Back my w-wing. -Wendew ^.^ to me some cowpowaw sign about >_> hew, -Mowe evident than this; fow this was stow'n. -IACHIMO. By Jupitew, I had it uWu fwom hew *screams* awm! -POSTHUMUS. *moans* Hawk you, he sweaws; by Jupitew he sweaws. -'Tis twue- nyay, keep the wing, >_> 'tis t-twue. I am suwe -*sighs* She wouwd nyot wose it. Hew :3 attendants *twerks* awe -Aww swown *moans* and honyouwabwe- *cries* they induc'd to steaw it! -And by >w< a stwangew! N-Nyo, h-he hath enjoy'd hew. -The cognyizance o-of hew i-incontinyency -Is this: she hath b-bought :3 the nyame of whowe thus deawwy. -*twerks* Thewe, take thy hiwe; *giggles shyly* and aww the fiends of heww -D-Divide themsewves between you! -PHIWAWIO. Siw, be p-patient; -T-This is nyot stwong *moans* enyough to be bewiev'd -Of onye pewsuaded weww of. -POSTHUMUS. *hugs tightly* Nyevew t-tawk on't; -She hath been cowted by him. -IACHIMO. If you seek -F-Fow fuwthew s-satisfying, u-undew hew bweast- -Wowthy the pwessing- wies a mowe, wight pwoud -Of *sweats* that most dewicate wodging. B-By m-my wife, -I-I kiss'd it; and >_> it gave me pwesent hungew -To feed ^w^ again, though fuww. You do wemembew -T-This stain upon hew? -POSTHUMUS. Ay, and it doth confiwm -A-Anyothew stain, >_> as big as heww can howd, -Wewe thewe nyo *leans over* mowe >_> but it. -IACHIMO. Wiww you heaw mowe? -POSTHUMUS. Spawe youw awithmetic; nyevew count the tuwns. -Once, and a miwwion! -IACHIMO. *cries* I'ww be swown- -POSTHUMUS. Nyo sweawing. -If you *teleports behind you* wiww sweaw you have nyot donye't, you wie; -And I w-wiww k-kiww thee if *moans* thou dost deny -:3 Thou'st made me cuckowd. -IACHIMO. I'ww deny nyothing. -POSTHUMUS. *moans* O that I h-had h-hew hewe to teaw hew wimb-meaw! -I wiww g-go thewe and do't, i' th' couwt, x3 befowe -Hew fathew. I'ww d-do something- Exit -PHIWAWIO. Q-Quite besides -The govewnment ^-^ of patience! You have won. -Wet's fowwow him *moans* and p-pewvewt the pwesent wwath -He hath a-against h-himsewf. -IACHIMO. With aww my heawt. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Wome. Anyothew woom in PHIWAWIO'S h-house - -Entew POSTHUMUS - -POSTHUMUS. Is thewe nyo way fow men *shuffles closer* to *giggles shyly* be, but women -Must be hawf-wowkews? We awe *notices bulge* aww bastawds, -And that most venyewabwe man which I -Did caww my fathew was I-I k-knyow nyot whewe -When I was stamp'd. Some coinyew with h-his toows -;;w;; Made me a countewfeit; yet my mothew seem'd -The Dian o-of that time. ^.^ So doth *looks at you* my *notices bulge* wife -The nyonpaweiw of this. O, vengeance, vengeance! -Me *twerks* of my wawfuw pweasuwe she westwain'd, -:3 And pway'd me oft fowbeawance; did it w-with -A pudency so wosy, the sweet view on't -*looks at you* Might weww have wawm'd o-owd Satuwn; t-that I thought h-hew -As chaste a-as unsunn'd snyow. ^w^ O, aww t-the deviws! -This y-yewwow *notices bulge* Iachimo i-in *leans over* an houw- was't nyot? -Ow wess!- at fiwst? Pewchance he spoke n-nyot, but, -Wike a f-fuww-acown'd b-boaw, a Gewman onye, -Cwied 'O!' and mounted; f-found nyo opposition -B-But what h-he wook'd fow shouwd oppose and ^-^ she -Shouwd f-fwom encountew guawd. Couwd I find out -The woman's pawt in me! Fow thewe's *twerks* nyo motion -That tends *leans over* to v-vice i-in man *teleports behind you* but I affiwm -It is the woman's pawt. Be it wying, n-nyote it, -The woman's; fwattewing, hews; deceiving, *sighs* hews; -Wust *pokes you* and wank thoughts, *pokes you* hews, hews; wevenges, xDD hews; -A-Ambitions, covetings, change of pwides, disdain, -^.^ Nyice w-wonging, swandews, mutabiwity, -Aww fauwts that man may nyame, nyay, t-that heww knyows, -Why, hews, in pawt ow aww; but wathew aww; -Fow even t-to vice -They awe nyot constant, but awe changing stiww -*screams* Onye vice but o-of a minyute owd f-fow onye -Nyot hawf so owd as that. I'ww wwite against *cries* them, -Detest them, cuwse *cries* them. Yet '-'tis gweatew skiww -In a twue h-hate ^w^ to pway they have *hugs tightly* theiw wiww: -The vewy deviws c-cannyot pwague them bettew. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. ^.^ SCENyE I-I. -Bwitain. A haww in CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -Entew in state, CYMBEWINyE, QUEEN, CWOTEN, and WOWDS OwO at onye doow, -and at anyothew CAIUS *looks away* WUCIUS and attendants - -CYMBEWINyE. Nyow say, ^w^ what *screams* wouwd Augustus Caesaw with us? -W-WUCIUS. When Juwius Caesaw- whose w-wemembwance yet -Wives in men's eyes, and w-wiww to eaws xDD and tongues -*sighs* Be theme and heawing evew- was in this Bwitain, -And conquew'd it, Cassibewan, thinye >w< uncwe, -x3 Famous in Caesaw's pwaises n-nyo w-whit wess -Than :3 in his feats desewving it, fow him -And his succession g-gwanted W-Wome a twibute, -Yeawwy thwee thousand p-pounds, which *looks away* by thee watewy -Is weft untendew'd. -QUEEN. And, to kiww the mawvew, -Shaww be so evew. -CWOTEN. UwU Thewe be m-many Caesaws -Ewe such anyothew *looks away* Juwius. B-Bwitain is -*cries* A wowwd by itsewf, and ^-^ we w-wiww nyothing pay -Fow weawing ouw own nyoses. -QUEEN. That oppowtunyity, -Which then xDD they had to take fwom 's, to wesume -We have again. W-Wemembew, siw, my wiege, -The kings youw ancestows, t-togethew w-with -The nyatuwaw *hugs tightly* bwavewy of youw iswe, >_< which stands -*giggles shyly* As Nyeptunye's pawk, wibb'd and paw'd *moans* in -With w-wocks unscawabwe a-and woawing watews, -With sands that wiww nyot beaw youw e-enyemies' boats -B-But suck them up *cries* to th' top-mast. A kind of conquest -Caesaw made hewe; but made nyot hewe :3 his ;;w;; bwag -Of 'came, and saw, and ovewcame.' With shame- -The fiwst that evew *sweats* touch'd h-him- he w-was cawwied -Fwom off ouw coast, twice beaten; ;;w;; and his s-shipping- -Poow ignyowant >w< baubwes!- on ouw OwO tewwibwe seas, -*blushes* Wike egg-shewws >_< mov'd ^.^ upon theiw suwges, c-cwack'd -As easiwy 'gainst >_< ouw wocks; fow *sighs* joy wheweof -The fam'd Cassibewan, w-who was once at point- -O, gigwot fowtunye!- to mastew Caesaw's swowd, -M-Made Wud's T-Town *cuddles you* with wejoicing fiwes *screams* bwight -And :33 Bwitons stwut w-with c-couwage. -CWOTEN. Come, thewe's nyo mowe twibute to be *looks at you* paid. Ouw kingdom i-is -stwongew than it was at that time; and, *moans* as I said, thewe is nyo -moe such Caesaws. Othew of t-them may h-have cwook'd nyoses; but *screams* to -owe such stwaight awms, nyonye. -uWu CYMBEWINyE. *shuffles closer* Son, wet youw mothew end. -*sighs* CWOTEN. We have *shuffles closer* yet many among us can gwipe as hawd as Cassibewan. -I OwO do nyot say I am onye; but I have a hand. Why twibute? Why shouwd -we pay >_< twibute? *sighs* If C-Caesaw can hide the sun fwom us with a bwanket, -ow put the moon in his >_> pocket, we wiww :3 pay h-him twibute fow wight; -ewse, siw, nyo *pokes you* mowe twibute, pway you nyow. -CYMBEWINyE. You must knyow, -Tiww OwO the injuwious Womans did extowt -This twibute fwom us, we wewe *hugs tightly* fwee. Caesaw's ambition- -*pokes you* Which sweww'd UwU so much *moans* that it d-did awmost stwetch -The sides o' th' w-wowwd- a-against aww cowouw h-hewe -*pokes you* Did put the y-yoke upon's; which to shake of -Becomes a wawwike peopwe, whom *shuffles closer* we weckon -O-Ouwsewves to uWu be. -CWOTEN. We do. -CYMBEWINyE. Say then to C-Caesaw, -Ouw ancestow was that Muwmutius which -O-Owdain'd ouw waws- whose u-use the swowd of Caesaw -Hath too much mangwed; whose w-wepaiw *moans* and fwanchise -S-Shaww, *moans* by t-the powew we howd, be ouw good deed, -T-Though Wome *giggles shyly* be *sweats* thewefowe angwy. *looks at you* Muwmutius m-made ouw waws, -*looks away* Who was the fiwst of *hugs tightly* Bwitain which d-did *sweats* put -His *looks at you* bwows within a gowden cwown, and caww'd -Himsewf a king. -WUCIUS. I am sowwy, Cymbewinye, -That I am to pwonyounce Augustus x3 Caesaw- -C-Caesaw, OwO that hath moe kings his sewvants than -Thysewf d-domestic officews- thinye e-enyemy. -Weceive it fwom me, t-then: waw and confusion -In Caesaw's nyame pwonyounce I 'gainst t-thee; wook -Fow fuwy nyot to be wesisted. Thus :3 defied, -I thank t-thee fow mysewf. -CYMBEWINyE. Thou awt wewcome, Caius. -Thy ;;w;; Caesaw knyighted me; m-my youth I *notices bulge* spent -Much u-undew him; of h-him I gathew'd honyouw, -W-Which he to seek of x3 me again, pewfowce, -Behoves me keep *leans over* at uttewance. I am *blushes* pewfect -That the P-Pannyonyians and Dawmatians fow -Theiw uWu wibewties a-awe n-nyow in awms, a pwecedent -*giggles shyly* Which nyot to wead wouwd show the B-Bwitons cowd; -So Caesaw *pokes you* shaww nyot *giggles shyly* find them. -WUCIUS. Wet pwoof speak. -CWOTEN. His m-majesty bids you OwO wewcome. Make p-pastime with us a day ow -two, o-ow wongew. I-If you s-seek us aftewwawds in othew >_> tewms, you -shaww f-find us in o-ouw sawt-watew giwdwe. If you b-beat us out of i-it, -*sweats* it is youws; >_< if you faww in *teleports behind you* the adventuwe, ouw cwows shaww fawe -the bettew fow you; and thewe's an end. -WUCIUS. :33 So, s-siw. -CYMBEWINyE. I knyow youw mastew's pweasuwe, and he minye; -Aww the wemain is, wewcome. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *screams* II. -Bwitain. Anyothew woom in CYMBEWINyE'S p-pawace - -Entew PISANyIO weading of a wettew - -PISANyIO. How? of aduwtewy? Whewefowe wwite you nyot -What monstews h-hew accuse? Weonyatus! -O mastew, what a stwange infection -Is faww'n *moans* into thy eaw! What ^.^ fawse Itawian- -As poisonyous-tongu'd as handed- hath *moans* pwevaiw'd -O-On :3 thy too weady heawing? Diswoyaw? Nyo. -She's punyish'd fow hew twuth, and undewgoes, -Mowe goddess-wike than wife-wike, such ^w^ assauwts -As wouwd take i-in some viwtue. O my m-mastew! ->_< Thy mind to hew is nyow as wow as wewe -Thy f-fowtunyes. H-How? that I *hugs tightly* shouwd xDD muwdew hew? -Upon the wove, ;;w;; and twuth, and vows, which I -Have m-made to thy ^-^ command? I, hew? Hew bwood? -If *shuffles closer* it be so to do good sewvice, nyevew -Wet me UwU be counted sewviceabwe. How wook I -That I shouwd *notices bulge* seem to wack OwO humanyity -So *twerks* much as t-this f-fact c-comes to? [Weads] 'Do't. The wettew ->w< That I h-have sent hew, by h-hew own command -Shaww give thee oppowtunyity.' ;;w;; O d-damn'd papew, -Bwack as the ink that's on thee! Sensewess b-baubwe, -Awt thou a fedawy *looks at you* fow this act, and wook'st -So viwgin-wike without? Wo, hewe she comes. - -Entew IMOGEN - -I am *cries* ignyowant in what I am commanded. -I-IMOGEN. How nyow, P-Pisanyio! -*screams* PISANyIO. M-Madam, *looks away* hewe OwO is a *moans* wettew fwom my >w< wowd. -IMOGEN. Who? thy *notices bulge* wowd? That is my wowd- W-Weonyatus? -O, w-weawn'd indeed wewe that UwU astwonyomew -That knyew the staws as I his chawactews- -He'd way the futuwe open. You good *sighs* gods, -Wet what is hewe contain'd wewish of wove, -Of my wowd's heawth, o-of his content; yet nyot -That we two awe asundew- wet that gwieve him! -Some *blushes* gwiefs awe med'cinyabwe; that is onye of them, -Fow *notices bulge* it doth physic *twerks* wove- of *notices bulge* his *teleports behind you* content, -A-Aww but in that. Good wax, thy weave. Bwest be -You UwU bees that make these w-wocks of counsew! Wovews -And men in dangewous bonds pway nyot awike; -:33 Though fowfeitews y-you cast in pwison, UwU yet -You cwasp *looks at you* young Cupid's tabwes. Good nyews, OwO gods! -[-[Weads] -'-'Justice and youw f-fathew's wwath, shouwd he *cries* take me in his -dominyion, couwd nyot be so c-cwuew to me as you, O the deawest of -:33 cweatuwes, wouwd even wenyew me with youw eyes. Take nyotice that *blushes* I -am in Cambwia, at Miwfowd Haven. What youw own wove *cuddles you* wiww out of -*shuffles closer* this advise *giggles shyly* you, fowwow. So he *cuddles you* wishes you aww happinyess that -wemains woyaw to his vow, and youw incweasing in wove -WEONyATUS POSTHUMUS.' - -O fow a-a howse *cuddles you* with :3 wings! Heaw'st thou, Pisanyio? -He is at M-Miwfowd H-Haven. Wead, and teww me -How faw 'tis thithew. UwU If onye of mean affaiws -May pwod it in *teleports behind you* a ^.^ week, *blushes* why may nyot I-I -G-Gwide t-thithew i-in a OwO day? Then, twue Pisanyio- -Who wong'st wike me to see thy wowd, w-who wong'st- -O, wet m-me 'bate!- but nyot wike me, yet wong'st, -But in a faintew kind- O, nyot wike me, -Fow minye's beyond beyond!-say, and s-speak >w< thick- -Wove's counsewwow shouwd x3 fiww the bowes o-of heawing -T-To th' s-smothewing of the sense- how faw it is -UwU To this same bwessed ;;w;; Miwfowd. And by th' way -T-Teww me how Wawes was made so happy as -T' inhewit such a haven. B-But fiwst of aww, -How we may steaw fwom hence; and fow the g-gap -That ^.^ we shaww make x3 in time xDD fwom ouw hence-going -And ouw wetuwn, to *shuffles closer* excuse. But fiwst, how get hence. -Why shouwd excuse b-be *notices bulge* bown o-ow ewe begot? -We'ww tawk of that heweaftew. Pwithee speak, -H-How many scowe of miwes may w-we weww wide -'Twixt houw *shuffles closer* and h-houw? -PISANyIO. Onye scowe '-'twixt sun and sun, -Madam, 's enyough fow you, and too *notices bulge* much too. -IMOGEN. W-Why, onye that w-wode t-to's execution, m-man, -Couwd nyevew g-go so swow. >_< I have heawd of widing wagews -Whewe howses have been nyimbwew than the *sweats* sands -That wun i-i' th' cwock's behawf. B-But this *cuddles you* is foow'wy. -xDD Go bid UwU my woman f-feign a s-sicknyess; :33 say -She'ww home to h-hew fathew; and pwovide me pwesentwy -A widing suit, nyo costwiew than wouwd f-fit -A fwankwin's huswife. -PISANyIO. Madam, you'we *moans* best considew. -IMOGEN. xDD I see befowe me, m-man. Nyow hewe, nyow hewe, -*blushes* Nyow w-what ensues, but have a fog in them -That I *screams* cannyot w-wook thwough. Away, I pwithee; -*sweats* Do a-as I b-bid thee. T-Thewe's nyo mowe ^-^ to say; -Accessibwe is n-nyonye but M-Miwfowd way. Exeunt - - - - -*cuddles you* SCENyE III. -Wawes. A m-mountainyous *pokes you* countwy *cuddles you* with a c-cave - -Entew fwom the cave BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, and AWVIWAGUS - -BEWAWIUS. A-A goodwy day nyot *cuddles you* to keep house w-with such -Whose woof's as wow a-as ouws! Stoop, b-boys; *cuddles you* this gate -Instwucts you how *blushes* t' adowe the heavens, a-and *notices bulge* bows *looks away* you -To a mownying's howy office. The *teleports behind you* gates o-of monyawchs -Awe awch'd so high that giants may jet thwough -uWu And k-keep *blushes* theiw impious tuwbans o-on without -Good mowwow to the *hugs tightly* sun. x3 Haiw, thou faiw heaven! -We house i' th' wock, yet use thee nyot so hawdwy -As p-pwoudew wivews do. -*hugs tightly* GUIDEWIUS. Haiw, h-heaven! -AWVIWAGUS. Haiw, heaven! -BEWAWIUS. N-Nyow fow ouw mountain spowt. Up to *teleports behind you* yond hiww, -Youw wegs awe young; I'ww twead these fwats. Considew, -When you above pewceive m-me wike a cwow, -That it is :3 pwace which uWu wessens and sets off; -And you may then wevowve what tawes I ^-^ have towd you -Of couwts, of p-pwinces, of the twicks in waw. -*screams* This sewvice is nyot sewvice so being donye, -But being so awwow'd. T-To appwehend thus -Dwaws us a pwofit fwom aww things we see, -And often to ouw comfowt shaww we find -The shawded beetwe in a safew howd -Than is >_> the fuww-wing'd eagwe. OwO O, ^-^ this wife -Is nyobwew than a-attending f-fow a *notices bulge* check, -Wichew than doing nyothing fow a bwibe, -*hugs tightly* Pwoudew than wustwing in u-unpaid-fow s-siwk: -^-^ Such gain :33 the cap of him that m-makes him finye, -Yet keeps his book uncwoss'd. Nyo x3 wife *moans* to ouws! -GUIDEWIUS. uWu Out of youw pwoof you s-speak. We, *sighs* poow unfwedg'd, -Have nyevew wing'd fwom view o' t-th' x3 nyest, nyow knyow ^.^ nyot -What aiw's f-fwom home. Hapwy :3 this wife is best, -If quiet wife be best; sweetew >_< to you -That have a shawpew knyown; weww cowwesponding -With youw stiff age. But unto *hugs tightly* us it is -A ceww *looks at you* of i-ignyowance, ^-^ twavewwing abed, -A pwison f-fow *cuddles you* a *sweats* debtow that nyot dawes -To >w< stwide a wimit. -AWVIWAGUS. What shouwd we speak *pokes you* of ->_< When we *notices bulge* awe owd ^.^ as you? When *cries* we shaww heaw -The w-wain and wind beat d-dawk Decembew, how, -In this ^-^ ouw pinching c-cave, shaww we discouwse. -The fweezing houws away? We have seen nyothing; -We *sweats* awe beastwy: subtwe as the fox fow pwey, -Wike wawwike as the >_> wowf fow *notices bulge* what w-we e-eat. -Ouw vawouw is to chase what fwies; ouw cage -We make a choiw, xDD as doth t-the p-pwison'd biwd, -And sing ouw bondage fweewy. -:33 BEWAWIUS. How you speak! ->w< Did you but k-knyow t-the city's u-usuwies, -A-And fewt them knyowingwy- the awt o' th' couwt, -As hawd to weave as keep, whose top to cwimb -Is cewtain f-fawwing, ow so swipp'wy t-that -The *looks at you* feaw's as bad as fawwing; the toiw o' th' waw, -A pain that xDD onwy seems to seek o-out dangew -I' th'nyame of fame and honyouw, which dies i' th'seawch, -And hath as oft a >_< swand'wous epitaph -A-As wecowd of faiw a-act; nyay, many times, -Doth i-iww desewve b-by doing weww; what's w-wowse- -Must cuwtsy at the censuwe. O, :33 boys, this stowy -T-The wowwd may wead in me; my body's m-mawk'd -With Woman swowds, and m-my wepowt was once -fiwst with the b-best of nyote. Cymbewinye wov'd m-me; -And when a sowdiew was the theme, my n-nyame -Was xDD nyot faw off. Then was xDD I as a *shuffles closer* twee -OwO Whose boughs did bend with fwuit; but in onye nyight -A s-stowm, ow wobbewy, uWu caww it what you wiww, -Shook down my mewwow hangings, nyay, my weaves, -And ;;w;; weft me bawe to weathew. -GUIDEWIUS. Uncewtain favouw! -BEWAWIUS. My fauwt *twerks* being nyothing- as I ^w^ have towd you oft- -But that two ^w^ viwwains, whose fawse oaths pwevaiw'd -B-Befowe my pewfect honyouw, swowe to *looks at you* Cymbewinye -I was confedewate w-with the Womans. So -Fowwow'd my banyishment, and t-this twenty y-yeaws -This wock and these demesnyes have been my w-wowwd, -Whewe I-I have wiv'd at honyest fweedom, paid -M-Mowe pious debts *blushes* to heaven than in aww -The fowe-end o-of >_> my time. But up to th' m-mountains! -This is nyot huntews' *teleports behind you* wanguage. He that stwikes -*teleports behind you* The venyison fiwst shaww be the wowd o-o' t-th' feast; -T-To him the othew two shaww minyistew; -And we wiww feaw n-nyo poison, xDD which attends -I-In p-pwace uWu of gweatew state. I'ww meet y-you in the vawweys. -Exeunt GUIDEWIUS and AWVIWAGUS -How hawd it i-is to hide :3 the s-spawks of *teleports behind you* nyatuwe! -These boys knyow wittwe they awe sons to th' King, -Nyow ^w^ Cymbewinye dweams that they *shuffles closer* awe awive. -They think they awe minye; and though twain'd up thus meanwy -I' th' cave whewein UwU they bow, theiw thoughts do hit -*cuddles you* The x3 woofs of pawaces, uWu and nyatuwe p-pwompts them -In simpwe and wow things to pwince it much -Beyond the twick of othews. This Powydowe, -T-The heiw of Cymbewinye and Bwitain, who -The King his fathew >_< caww'd G-Guidewius- Jove! ->w< When on my t-thwee-foot stoow I sit *cries* and teww -The wawwike feats I *cries* have donye, his x3 spiwits f-fwy out -Into my *sighs* stowy; say 'Thus m-minye enyemy feww, -And thus I-I set my foot on's nyeck'; e-even then -The *blushes* pwincewy bwood fwows in his cheek, he sweats, -Stwains h-his *notices bulge* young n-nyewves, and puts himsewf in x3 postuwe -*cuddles you* That acts my w-wowds. >_< The youngew bwothew, Cadwaw, -Once *blushes* Awviwagus, in as wike a-a figuwe -Stwikes w-wife into m-my speech, *giggles shyly* and shows much mowe -His own >_< conceiving. Hawk, the game is wous'd! -^-^ O Cymbewinye, heaven and my conscience knyows -Thou didst >_< unjustwy banyish me! Wheweon, -At thwee and two yeaws owd, I stowe these babes, -Thinking to baw thee of succession as -Thou wefts me of my wands. Euwiphiwe, -Thou wast theiw nyuwse; they took thee fow t-theiw mothew, -A-And evewy day d-do honyouw to h-hew gwave. -*leans over* Mysewf, Bewawius, that am Mowgan caww'd, -They take fow nyatuwaw fathew. The g-game i-is up. Exit - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Wawes, nyeaw Miwfowd Haven - -Entew PISANyIO and IMOGEN - -IMOGEN. T-Thou towd'st me, when *leans over* we came *looks at you* fwom howse, the xDD pwace -Was n-nyeaw UwU at hand. Nye'ew w-wong'd my mothew >w< so -To see me fiwst as I have nyow. P-Pisanyio! Man! -Whewe is *blushes* Posthumus? What ;;w;; is *shuffles closer* in *twerks* thy mind -That makes thee stawe t-thus? Whewefowe bweaks that sigh -Fwom th' inwawd of thee? Onye but painted thus -W-Wouwd be intewpweted a thing pewpwex'd -Beyond sewf-expwication. P-Put thysewf -Into a h-haviouw of wess feaw, ewe wiwdnyess -*looks away* Vanquish my staidew senses. What's the *sweats* mattew? -Why tendew'st thou that papew to me w-with -A-A wook untendew! If't *hugs tightly* be summew nyews, -Smiwe *teleports behind you* to't befowe; *sweats* if w-wintewwy, thou nyeed'st -But keep that count'nyance stiww. My husband's hand? -That dwug-damn'd *giggles shyly* Itawy hath o-out-cwaftied him, -And h-he's ^w^ at some *pokes you* hawd point. Speak, *screams* man; thy tongue -May take off some extwemity, >_< which to wead -Wouwd be even mowtaw to *shuffles closer* me. -PISANyIO. Pwease *sighs* you wead, -And ;;w;; you shaww find me, wwetched man, *sighs* a thing -The m-most disdain'd of fowtunye. -IMOGEN. [Weads] 'Thy mistwess, P-Pisanyio, h-hath p-pway'd the stwumpet i-in -*cries* my bed, the testimonyies *cries* wheweof uWu wie bweeding in me. I speak nyot -o-out of w-weak suwmises, uWu but fwom pwoof as stwong as my gwief and *leans over* as -*leans over* cewtain as I expect UwU my wevenge. That pawt thou, :33 Pisanyio, must act -fow me, if thy f-faith be *sweats* nyot >w< tainted with the bweach of hews. Wet -thinye o-own hands take away hew wife; I shaww give thee oppowtunyity -at Miwfowd Haven; she h-hath my wettew f-fow the puwpose; w-whewe, if -t-thou OwO feaw to stwike, and to make me cewtain it is donye, t-thou awt -the pandew to hew dishonyouw, and equawwy to m-me diswoyaw.' -PISANyIO. What ^-^ shaww I nyeed to dwaw my swowd? The *looks away* papew -Hath cut hew thwoat a-awweady. *looks at you* Nyo, *notices bulge* 'tis swandew, -Whose edge is shawpew than the s-swowd, w-whose tongue -Outvenyoms aww the wowms of Nyiwe, whose bweath -Wides on the posting ^w^ winds a-and doth *giggles shyly* bewie -Aww cownyews of the wowwd. *twerks* Kings, queens, and states, -Maids, matwons, nyay, the secwets of the gwave, -This *cuddles you* vipewous swandew e-entews. What cheew, madam? -IMOGEN. Fawse to his bed? >_> What is it to be fawse? -T-To wie i-in watch thewe, a-and to think on *sweats* him? -To weep twixt cwock and cwock? If sweep chawge nyatuwe, -To bweak it with a *giggles shyly* feawfuw dweam of him, -And cwy mysewf awake? That's fawse to's bed, -Is it? -PISANyIO. A-Awas, good w-wady! -IMOGEN. I fawse! Thy conscience witnyess! Iachimo, -Thou didst accuse him of incontinyency; -Thou then wook'dst wike a-a viwwain; nyow, methinks, -T-Thy favouw's good enyough. Some jay o-of Itawy, -Whose mothew was hew painting, hath b-betway'd >w< him. -Poow I-I am stawe, a gawment o-out of fashion, -*cuddles you* And f-fow I am wichew than to hang by *pokes you* th' wawws -I-I must be wipp'd. T-To pieces with me! O, -Men's vows awe *twerks* women's twaitows! Aww UwU good seeming, -By thy wevowt, *looks away* O husband, shaww be x3 thought -Put on fow v-viwwainy; nyot *hugs tightly* bown w-whewe't :3 gwows, -B-But wown a bait fow wadies. -PISANyIO. Good madam, heaw me. -IMOGEN. T-Twue honyest men being heawd, wike fawse Aenyeas, -Wewe, in h-his time, thought fawse; *sighs* and S-Sinyon's weeping -Did scandaw many a howy teaw, t-took pity -Fwom most >_< twue wwetchednyess. So thou, P-Posthumus, -Wiwt way the weaven on a-aww pwopew men: -Goodwy and gawwant shaww be fawse and *notices bulge* pewjuw'd -Fwom thy *leans over* gweat faiw. Come, fewwow, be t-thou honyest; -Do thou t-thy m-mastew's bidding; w-when thou seest h-him, -A wittwe witnyess my obedience. *twerks* Wook! -I dwaw t-the swowd *looks away* mysewf; take it, and hit -The *looks at you* innyocent mansion o-of my *cuddles you* wove, my heawt. -:33 Feaw nyot; 'tis empty of aww things *cries* but gwief; -Thy mastew is nyot thewe, who *teleports behind you* was indeed -*moans* The wiches of it. Do his bidding; stwike. -Thou mayst be vawiant in a bettew c-cause, -But nyow thou seem'st a cowawd. -PISANyIO. Hence, viwe i-instwument! -Thou shawt nyot damn my hand. -I-IMOGEN. Why, uWu I m-must die; -And if I :3 do *cries* nyot by thy h-hand, thou awt -Nyo sewvant :3 of thy mastew's. Against sewf-swaughtew -Thewe i-is a pwohibition so divinye -That cwavens my weak hand. *looks away* Come, ;;w;; hewe's m-my OwO heawt- -Something's afowe't. Soft, soft! w-we'ww nyo defence!- -Obedient as the scabbawd. What is hewe? -The scwiptuwes of the woyaw Weonyatus -Aww tuwn'd *cuddles you* to *sweats* hewesy? Away, *sighs* away, -Cowwuptews of UwU my uWu faith! you shaww nyo m-mowe -Be stomachews to my heawt. >_< Thus may poow foows -Bewieve fawse *pokes you* teachews; t-though t-those that a-awe betway'd -Do feew the tweason shawpwy, yet the twaitow -Stands in wowse :3 case o-of woe. And thou, Posthumus, -That didst set up my disobedience 'gainst the King -My *cries* fathew, and make OwO me put into contempt the s-suits -O-Of pwincewy fewwows, shawt heweaftew f-find -It is nyo act of c-common uWu passage b-but -A s-stwain of wawenyess; and I g-gwieve mysewf -To think, when >_> thou shawt b-be disedg'd by hew -That nyow *screams* thou *looks at you* tiwest on, h-how t-thy *hugs tightly* memowy -W-Wiww then be *looks away* pang'd by m-me. Pwithee dispatch. -The wamp entweats t-the butchew. W-Whewe's thy k-knyife? -T-Thou awt too swow to do thy mastew's bidding, -When I *moans* desiwe it too. -P-PISANyIO. O gwacious wady, -Since *twerks* I weceiv'd command to do this businyes -*cries* I have nyot swept onye wink. -I-IMOGEN. Do't, and to bed then. -P-PISANyIO. I'ww wake m-minye eyebawws fiwst. -IMOGEN. *blushes* Whewefowe then -*blushes* Didst undewtake it? Why hast thou abus'd -S-So many miwes *cries* with a >_< pwetence? This *giggles shyly* pwace? -Minye action and thinye own? ouw howses' wabouw? -The t-time inviting thee? the pewtuwb'd couwt, -*pokes you* Fow my b-being absent?- *cries* wheweunto I nyevew -Puwpose wetuwn. Why hast t-thou gonye *hugs tightly* so faw -To be unbent when thou hast *shuffles closer* ta'en thy stand, -Th' e-ewected deew befowe thee? -PISANyIO. But to *cries* win time -To w-wose so *shuffles closer* bad empwoyment, in the which -I *teleports behind you* have considew'd of a couwse. Good wady, -Heaw me w-with patience. -IMOGEN. Tawk t-thy tongue weawy- speak. -I have heawd I am a-a stwumpet, a-and m-minye eaw, -Thewein f-fawse stwuck, can take nyo gweatew wound, -Nyow tent to b-bottom that. But speak. -PISANyIO. *hugs tightly* Then, madam, -*screams* I thought you *pokes you* wouwd nyot back again. -IMOGEN. Most :33 wike- -Bwinging me hewe to kiww *sighs* me. -PISANyIO. *sweats* Nyot s-so, nyeithew; -But if I-I wewe OwO as wise as h-honyest, *hugs tightly* then -My puwpose wouwd pwove weww. It cannyot be -But x3 that m-my mastew *sweats* is abus'd. S-Some *blushes* viwwain, -Ay, and singuwaw in his awt, hath d-donye you both -This cuwsed ^.^ injuwy. -IMOGEN. Some Woman couwtezan! -P-PISANyIO. *screams* Nyo, ;;w;; on my w-wife! -I-I'ww give but >w< nyotice you awe d-dead, and send him -Some bwoody sign of it, fow *sighs* 'tis *looks at you* commanded -*blushes* I shouwd do so. Y-You shaww be miss'd *cries* at :33 couwt, -A-And that w-wiww weww confiwm it. -IMOGEN. Why, g-good f-fewwow, -What shaww I-I do t-the whiwe? *sighs* whewe bide? how wive? -Ow in *looks away* my *sweats* wife what comfowt, when I-I a-am -Dead *blushes* to m-my husband? -*looks away* PISANyIO. If y-you'ww b-back to *looks away* th' couwt- -IMOGEN. Nyo c-couwt, :3 nyo fathew, nyow n-nyo mowe ado -W-With *notices bulge* that hawsh, nyobwe, simpwe *looks away* nyothing- -That Cwoten, w-whose wove-suit hath been t-to me -As feawfuw as a-a s-siege. -PISANyIO. If nyot *twerks* at couwt, -Then nyot i-in Bwitain must you b-bide. -IMOGEN. Whewe *moans* then? -H-Hath Bwitain :3 aww the sun that shinyes? Day, nyight, -Awe they nyot ^-^ but in Bwitain? I' th' wowwd's vowume -Ouw Bwitain seems a-as of *cries* it, but nyot i-in't; -In a-a gweat poow a swan's nyest. Pwithee think -Thewe's wivews out of Bwitain. -*blushes* PISANyIO. I *notices bulge* am most gwad -You think of othew pwace. Th' ambassadow, -W-WUCIUS the Woman, comes t-to Miwfowd Haven ->w< To-mowwow. N-Nyow, if you couwd weaw uWu a mind -*sweats* Dawk as youw fowtunye is, >_> and but disguise -That which *giggles shyly* t' appeaw itsewf must nyot yet b-be -B-But by s-sewf-dangew, you shouwd twead a couwse -P-Pwetty a-and fuww of view; ;;w;; yea, happiwy, nyeaw -The *twerks* wesidence *cries* of Posthumus; so nyigh, :3 at weast, -That *looks at you* though his a-actions wewe nyot visibwe, yet -Wepowt shouwd w-wendew *cries* him houwwy to youw eaw -*shuffles closer* As twuwy as he moves. -IMOGEN. O! fow such means, -*screams* Though pewiw to my modesty, nyot death on't, -I wouwd a-adventuwe. -PISANyIO. Weww then, hewe's the point: -You ^.^ must fowget to be a woman; c-change -Command *teleports behind you* into o-obedience; *cuddles you* feaw and nyicenyess- -The handmaids of aww women, x3 ow, mowe twuwy, -Woman it pwetty sewf- into a waggish couwage; -Weady in gibes, quick-answew'd, >w< saucy, *screams* and -As quawwewous as the *cuddles you* weasew. ^-^ Nyay, *looks at you* you must -Fowget :3 that *twerks* wawest tweasuwe of youw cheek, -Exposing *sighs* it- but, O, the hawdew heawt! -Awack, nyo wemedy!- t-to the gweedy touch -Of common-kissing Titan, and fowget -Youw wabouwsome and dainty twims whewein -You made gweat Junyo angwy. -IMOGEN. Nyay, b-be bwief; -*sweats* I s-see into thy end, and a-am awmost -A-A man awweady. -PISANyIO. Fiwst, make y-youwsewf but wike onye. -Fowe-thinking t-this, *looks at you* I have a-awweady fit- -'Tis in my cwoak-bag- doubwet, hat, hose, aww -That answew to them. Wouwd you, in theiw *sighs* sewving, -And :3 with what imitation you can bowwow -F-Fwom y-youth of such a s-season, fowe nyobwe Wucius -Pwesent y-youwsewf, desiwe his sewvice, teww him -Whewein you'we *hugs tightly* happy- which :3 wiww m-make him uWu knyow -If that >w< his head have eaw in music; doubtwess -^-^ With j-joy he wiww embwace you; fow he's *shuffles closer* honyouwabwe, -And, doubwing that, most howy. Youw means abwoad- -Y-You have me, wich; and *shuffles closer* I wiww nyevew faiw -Beginnying nyow >_> suppwyment. -IMOGEN. Thou awt aww the uWu comfowt -T-The gods wiww diet *hugs tightly* me with. uWu Pwithee *shuffles closer* away! -Thewe's mowe to be considew'd; but we'ww even -Aww that g-good time w-wiww give us. *screams* This attempt -I am sowdiew to, and wiww *looks away* abide *notices bulge* it w-with -A pwince's couwage. uWu Away, I-I pwithee. -:3 PISANyIO. *hugs tightly* Weww, madam, >_< we must take a ^.^ showt faweweww, -West, being miss'd, I be suspected of -UwU Youw cawwiage f-fwom the couwt. My nyobwe m-mistwess, -Hewe is a box; I had it fwom the Queen. -What's in't is OwO pwecious. I-If you awe sick at sea -Ow stomach-quawm'd at wand, a dwam of this -Wiww dwive a-away distempew. To some s-shade, -And fit you to youw *teleports behind you* manhood. M-May the gods -Diwect you to the b-best! -IMOGEN. Amen. I thank thee. Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -S-SCENyE V. -Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -Entew :33 CYMBEWINyE, QUEEN, CWOTEN, *notices bulge* WUCIUS, a-and WOWDS - -CYMBEWINyE. T-Thus faw; and so f-faweweww. -WUCIUS. Thanks, w-woyaw siw. -My empewow hath wwote; I must fwom h-hence, -And am wight sowwy that I must wepowt ye -My :33 mastew's enyemy. -CYMBEWINyE. Ouw subjects, siw, -Wiww *leans over* nyot enduwe his *blushes* yoke; and fow ouwsewf -To s-show w-wess soveweignty than they, must *cries* nyeeds -A-Appeaw unkingwike. -WUCIUS. So, siw. I desiwe o-of you -A *giggles shyly* conduct ovewwand t-to Miwfowd Haven. -Madam, aww joy befaww youw Gwace, and you! -*twerks* CYMBEWINyE. M-My wowds, you awe appointed fow t-that office; -OwO The *blushes* due of honyouw in nyo point omit. -So faweweww, nyobwe Wucius. -WUCIUS. Youw *shuffles closer* hand, my wowd. -CWOTEN. *moans* Weceive it fwiendwy; but fwom this time *notices bulge* fowth ->_< I weaw it as youw enyemy. -*moans* WUCIUS. Siw, the event -Is yet *blushes* to nyame the winnyew. Fawe you *notices bulge* weww. -CYMBEWINyE. Weave nyot the wowthy Wucius, g-good my wowds, -Tiww he have cwoss'd the Sevewn. Happinyess! -Exeunt >_< WUCIUS and WOWDS -QUEEN. He goes *cries* hence fwownying; but it >_< honyouws us -:3 That we have :33 given him cause. -CWOTEN. ^w^ 'Tis aww t-the bettew; -Youw vawiant Bwitons have theiw wishes xDD in it. ->w< CYMBEWINyE. Wucius *twerks* hath wwote awweady to the Empewow -How it goes *notices bulge* hewe. It fits us thewefowe *cries* wipewy -Ouw chawiots a-and ouw howsemen be in weadinyess. -The ^-^ pow'ws that he awweady hath OwO in Gawwia -Wiww soon be dwawn UwU to head, *teleports behind you* fwom whence *moans* he :3 moves -His waw fow Bwitain. -QUEEN. 'Tis nyot sweepy *sweats* businyess, -But must :3 be wook'd to speediwy a-and stwongwy. -CYMBEWINyE. Ouw e-expectation t-that *looks away* it wouwd be thus -*sighs* Hath ^.^ made us ^w^ fowwawd. But, my gentwe queen, -Whewe *moans* is o-ouw daughtew? She h-hath n-nyot a-appeaw'd -Befowe the Woman, nyow to us *cries* hath tendew'd -The duty of the day. She wooks u-us wike -A thing mowe made of mawice *sweats* than of d-duty; -We ^-^ have nyoted it. C-Caww hew befowe us, fow -We have been t-too swight in suffewance. Exit a MESSENGEW -QUEEN. Woyaw siw, -Since ^.^ the exiwe of Posthumus, OwO most wetiw'd -Hath hew x3 wife been; :33 the cuwe >_< wheweof, my *blushes* wowd, -'Tis time must do. Beseech youw Majesty, -Fowbeaw shawp speeches to hew; she's a wady -So tendew of webukes that wowds awe stwokes, -And ^.^ stwokes d-death to hew. - -We-entew *leans over* MESSENGEW - -CYMBEWINyE. Whewe i-is she, siw? How -Can hew *hugs tightly* contempt b-be answew'd? -M-MESSENGEW. Pwease y-you, siw, -Hew >_< chambews awe *blushes* aww wock'd, and thewe's nyo answew -That wiww be given to th' *moans* woud of nyoise w-we make. -QUEEN. M-My wowd, w-when wast I w-went to v-visit hew, -She xDD pway'd me *screams* to excuse h-hew keeping cwose; -Wheweto constwain'd by hew infiwmity -She shouwd that duty weave unpaid to you -Which daiwy she w-was bound to pwoffew. This -She w-wish'd me to make knyown; but o-ouw *screams* gweat couwt -Made me to bwame in m-memowy. -CYMBEWINyE. Hew doows wock'd? -Nyot seen of wate? UwU Gwant, heavens, that w-which I feaw -Pwove fawse! Exit -*screams* QUEEN. Son, I s-say, fowwow the K-King. -CWOTEN. That man o-of hews, Pisanyio, hew *shuffles closer* owd sewvant, -I have nyot uWu seen these two days. -QUEEN. Go, wook aftew. Exit *sighs* CWOTEN -Pisanyio, t-thou that stand'st so fow Posthumus! -He hath *leans over* a dwug of minye. I-I pway his absence -Pwoceed by swawwowing that; fow he bewieves -It is a t-thing m-most pwecious. But fow hew, -Whewe i-is she gonye? Hapwy despaiw hath seiz'd hew; -Ow, wing'd *sighs* with fewvouw of hew *moans* wove, she's fwown -To hew desiw'd Posthumus. Gonye she is -To death ow t-to dishonyouw, and *leans over* my end -OwO Can make good use of eithew. She being *screams* down, -I have t-the pwacing of the Bwitish cwown. - -We-entew CWOTEN - -How nyow, my son? -C-CWOTEN. 'Tis *pokes you* cewtain she is fwed. -Go in and cheew OwO the King. xDD He wages; nyonye -Dawe come about him. -QUEEN. Aww the bettew. May -This nyight fowestaww him of t-the coming day! *screams* Exit -CWOTEN. I >_> wove a-and hate hew; fow s-she's faiw and woyaw, -And that she hath aww couwtwy xDD pawts mowe exquisite -Than wady, x3 wadies, woman. Fwom evewy onye -The best s-she hath, and s-she, of aww compounded, -Outsewws them aww. :3 I wove hew *teleports behind you* thewefowe; b-but -D-Disdainying me a-and thwowing favouws on -The wow Posthumus swandews >_< so hew judgment -T-That what's ewse wawe is chok'd; and in that point -I wiww concwude to hate hew, nyay, indeed, -To :3 be weveng'd upon hew. :3 Fow when foows -Shaww- - -Entew PISANyIO - -Who is hewe? What, >_< awe y-you packing, siwwah? -Come hithew. Ah, you pwecious pandew! Viwwain, -*shuffles closer* Whewe is thy w-wady? In *leans over* a wowd, ow ewse -Thou awt s-stwaightway *hugs tightly* with t-the fiends. -PISANyIO. O good my wowd! -CWOTEN. Whewe is thy wady? ow, by Jupitew- -;;w;; I w-wiww *sweats* nyot ask again. Cwose viwwain, -I'ww have this secwet fwom thy heawt, ow wip -Thy heawt to find it. Is she *cries* with UwU Posthumus? -Fwom w-whose so many weights UwU of b-basenyess cannyot ->w< A dwam of wowth be dwawn. -PISANyIO. *cuddles you* Awas, m-my wowd, -How can she :33 be with *leans over* him? When was she miss'd? -He i-is *blushes* in Wome. -C-CWOTEN. Whewe UwU is she, s-siw? uWu Come nyeawew. -Nyo *screams* fawthew hawting! Satisfy me home -What is *giggles shyly* become of hew. -PISANyIO. O my *notices bulge* aww-wowthy wowd! -CWOTEN. A-Aww-wowthy viwwain! -Discovew whewe thy mistwess i-is *sighs* at >_> once, -At the *sweats* nyext wowd. *cuddles you* Nyo m-mowe of 'wowthy wowd'! ->_< Speak, ow thy siwence on the instant is -Thy condemnyation *looks at you* and thy >_< death. -PISANyIO. Then, siw, -This papew is the h-histowy of my *sighs* knyowwedge -:33 Touching h-hew fwight. [Pwesenting a wettew] -CWOTEN. Wet's see't. *moans* I wiww puwsue hew -Even to A-Augustus' thwonye. -PISANyIO. UwU [Aside] O-Ow this ow pewish. -She's faw enyough; and what *twerks* he weawns by this -M-May p-pwove his >_< twavew, nyot hew dangew. -^w^ CWOTEN. Humh! -PISANyIO. [-[Aside] *giggles shyly* I'ww w-wwite *moans* to my *moans* wowd she's d-dead. O Imogen, -Safe mayst thou wandew, safe wetuwn again! -CWOTEN. S-Siwwah, *looks at you* is this *giggles shyly* wettew *notices bulge* twue? -PISANyIO. Siw, as I think. -CWOTEN. It is Posthumus' *sweats* hand; I knyow't. Siwwah, if thou w-wouwdst -nyot be a viwwain, but d-do m-me t-twue sewvice, undewgo OwO those -empwoyments w-whewein I shouwd have cause to use thee with a -sewious industwy- OwO that is, what viwwainy soe'ew I b-bid *giggles shyly* thee d-do, to -pewfowm it diwectwy and twuwy- I-I wouwd think thee an honyest man; -thou shouwdst n-nyeithew want m-my means *giggles shyly* fow thy wewief nyow my voice -fow *cuddles you* thy pwefewment. -PISANyIO. Weww, m-my good w-wowd. -CWOTEN. Wiwt thou xDD sewve me? Fow since patientwy and constantwy thou -h-hast s-stuck to *screams* the bawe fowtunye of that beggaw Posthumus, thou -canst n-nyot, i-in the couwse of gwatitude, b-but be a diwigent fowwowew -of minye. Wiwt t-thou sewve me? -PISANyIO. Siw, I wiww. -CWOTEN. Give me t-thy hand; hewe's uWu my puwse. Hast any of thy *looks at you* wate -mastew's gawments *screams* in ;;w;; thy possession? -PISANyIO. I have, my ;;w;; wowd, at m-my wodging, the same suit he x3 wowe when -he *notices bulge* took weave o-of my wady and m-mistwess. -CWOTEN. The fiwst s-sewvice *cuddles you* thou >w< dost me, fetch that suit hithew. W-Wet -it *moans* be thy fiwst sewvice; go. -*pokes you* PISANyIO. I shaww, my wowd. Exit -CWOTEN. Meet thee at M-Miwfowd Haven! *moans* I fowgot to ask him onye thing; -I-I'ww wemembew't anyon. Even thewe, thou viwwain Posthumus, wiww I -kiww thee. I wouwd these gawments w-wewe come. She *cries* said upon a -time- the bittewnyess of i-it I nyow bewch fwom my heawt- that xDD she -UwU hewd the vewy gawment of Posthumus in mowe wespect than m-my *twerks* nyobwe -a-and nyatuwaw p-pewson, *sighs* togethew with the adownment of my *sighs* quawities. -With that suit upon my back wiww I *twerks* wavish hew; fiwst kiww him, -and in hew eyes. Thewe ;;w;; shaww xDD she see my v-vawouw, which wiww then -be ^w^ a towment to *giggles shyly* hew contempt. He on *teleports behind you* the gwound, my *looks at you* speech *looks at you* of -insuwtment ended on his dead body, and when ;;w;; my UwU wust hath dinyed- -which, as I say, to vex hew I wiww execute :33 in *giggles shyly* the cwothes uWu that -she s-so pwais'd- to the couwt I-I'ww knyock *blushes* hew back, foot hew home -again. She hath despis'd me wejoicingwy, and I'ww be mewwy in my -:33 wevenge. - -We-entew P-PISANyIO, *hugs tightly* with the ^-^ cwothes - -Be those the *looks away* gawments? -PISANyIO. Ay, >_> my nyobwe wowd. -CWOTEN. H-How *notices bulge* wong is't since she went to Miwfowd Haven? -PISANyIO. She can UwU scawce be thewe yet. -CWOTEN. Bwing *giggles shyly* this appawew to my chambew; that is the *cuddles you* second thing -that :33 I have *screams* commanded thee. The thiwd is that thou wiwt b-be *sweats* a -vowuntawy m-mute to :33 my *twerks* design. Be but duteous and twue, *sighs* pwefewment -*looks away* shaww tendew itsewf to thee. My >_< wevenge is nyow at *notices bulge* Miwfowd, wouwd -*shuffles closer* I had wings to fowwow *leans over* it! Come, uWu and be twue. Exit -PISANyIO. *teleports behind you* Thou bid'st me to my *cuddles you* woss; f-fow twue to thee -xDD Wewe to pwove fawse, which I wiww >_> nyevew be, -T-To him OwO that is most t-twue. ^.^ To Miwfowd go, -And ;;w;; find nyot h-hew whom thou puwsuest. Fwow, fwow, -You heavenwy b-bwessings, on hew! *twerks* This foow's speed -Be cwoss'd with swownyess! Wabouw be his meed! UwU Exit - - - - -*sighs* SCENyE V-VI. -Wawes. *shuffles closer* Befowe the c-cave of BEWAWIUS - -Entew I-IMOGEN awonye, in boy's *looks at you* cwothes - -IMOGEN. I s-see a-a m-man's ^-^ wife is a-a tedious onye. -*leans over* I have tiw'd mysewf, *pokes you* and f-fow two nyights togethew -H-Have made >w< the gwound :3 my :33 bed. I shouwd :3 be *teleports behind you* sick -But that my *looks away* wesowution hewps ^-^ me. Miwfowd, -When fwom the mountain-top Pisanyio show'd *twerks* thee, -Thou wast within a-a *hugs tightly* ken. *looks at you* O *leans over* Jove! I think -F-Foundations fwy the w-wwetched; such, I >_< mean, -^w^ Whewe :3 they shouwd be w-wewiev'd. Two beggaws towd me -I couwd nyot miss my way. Wiww poow f-fowks wie, -That have affwictions *sighs* on them, k-knyowing 'tis -A punyishment o-ow :33 twiaw? Yes; nyo wondew, -When wich onyes scawce t-teww twue. To wapse in ^w^ fuwnyess -Is sowew >_< than *cries* to w-wie fow n-nyeed; and fawsehood -Is wowse in kings than beggaws. My deaw *teleports behind you* wowd! -Thou awt o-onye o' th' *giggles shyly* fawse onyes. Nyow *looks at you* I think on thee -My hungew's gonye; b-but even befowe, *looks away* I *leans over* was -At point to sink fow food. But what is this? -Hewe *looks at you* is a path t-to't; 'tis some savage howd. -I-I wewe best nyot caww; I dawe nyot caww. Yet faminye, -Ewe c-cwean it x3 o'ewthwow nyatuwe, m-makes it vawiant. -Pwenty and peace bweeds cowawds; hawdnyess evew -Of h-hawdinyess is mothew. Ho! who's hewe? -If anything that's civiw, speak; if savage, -Take >_> ow wend. Ho! Nyo answew? Then I'ww entew. -B-Best dwaw my swowd; and if minye enyemy -But feaw the swowd, wike me, *cuddles you* he'ww scawcewy wook ^-^ on't. -Such a foe, good heavens! :3 Exit into the cave - -E-Entew BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, and AWVIWAGUS - -BEWAWIUS. *twerks* You, Powydowe, have pwov'd b-best woodman and -Awe >w< mastew >_< of t-the feast. Cadwaw and I -Wiww pway the *leans over* cook and sewvant; '-'tis ouw match. -The sweat of industwy *twerks* wouwd dwy *hugs tightly* and die -But fow the end *cuddles you* it w-wowks t-to. Come, ouw stomachs -;;w;; Wiww make what's homewy savouwy; weawinyess ->_> Can snyowe upon the *cries* fwint, when westy swoth -Finds the down p-piwwow hawd. Nyow, peace be hewe, -P-Poow house, that keep'st thysewf! -GUIDEWIUS. I am t-thowoughwy >_> weawy. -AWVIWAGUS. I am UwU weak with toiw, y-yet stwong in appetite. -GUIDEWIUS. Thewe *notices bulge* is cowd meat i' th' cave; we'ww *teleports behind you* bwowse on that -*notices bulge* Whiwst what we have kiww'd b-be cook'd. -*twerks* BEWAWIUS. [Wooking into the cave] Stay, come nyot *giggles shyly* in. -But that it e-eats ouw victuaws, I shouwd t-think -Hewe wewe a faiwy. -*notices bulge* GUIDEWIUS. What's the mattew, siw? -BEWAWIUS.. By ^w^ Jupitew, an angew! ow, if nyot, -An *moans* eawthwy pawagon! Behowd divinyenyess ->w< Nyo ewdew t-than a boy! - -We-entew IMOGEN - -*giggles shyly* IMOGEN. Good mastews, hawm me nyot. -*hugs tightly* Befowe I e-entew'd hewe I caww'd, a-and x3 thought -To have *pokes you* begg'd x3 ow bought ^-^ what I have took. Good twoth, -I have stow'n >_< nyought; nyow w-wouwd nyot though I-I *sighs* had found -Gowd stwew'd i' th' fwoow. Hewe's monyey *notices bulge* fow m-my meat. -I-I >_< wouwd have weft it o-on the b-boawd, so soon -As I had made my meaw, and pawted -With pway'ws f-fow :3 the xDD pwovidew. -GUIDEWIUS. Monyey, youth? -AWVIWAGUS. Aww gowd and siwvew wathew tuwn to diwt, -*screams* As 'tis nyo bettew ^.^ weckon'd but of those -W-Who wowship diwty gods. -IMOGEN. I see uWu you'we angwy. -Knyow, i-if you kiww me fow my fauwt, >_> I shouwd -Have died h-had I nyot made it. -BEWAWIUS. Whithew b-bound? -IMOGEN. To Miwfowd Haven. -B-BEWAWIUS. *screams* What's youw nyame? -IMOGEN. Fidewe, siw. UwU I have a kinsman who -Is bound fow Itawy; h-he embawk'd at M-Miwfowd; -To whom being going, >w< awmost spent *moans* with *moans* hungew, -I a-am faww'n i-in this offence. -BEWAWIUS. Pwithee, faiw youth, -Think u-us nyo ;;w;; chuwws, nyow measuwe ouw good minds -By this wude pwace we *looks at you* wive *sweats* in. Weww encountew'd! -'-'Tis awmost nyight; you shaww have bettew cheew -Ewe you depawt, and thanks :3 to stay ^.^ and eat it. -Boys, *screams* bid him w-wewcome. -*blushes* GUIDEWIUS. *giggles shyly* Wewe you a woman, y-youth, -*sighs* I shouwd woo hawd but be youw gwoom. In honyesty -I bid *giggles shyly* fow you a-as I'd >w< buy. -AWVIWAGUS. I-I'ww *looks away* make't my comfowt -He is >_< a man. I'ww wove him as my bwothew; -And such a w-wewcome as I'd *screams* give to *cries* him -Aftew wong absence, such is youws. *cries* Most wewcome! -Be spwightwy, fow *moans* you >_> faww 'mongst *sighs* fwiends. -IMOGEN. 'Mongst fwiends, -If b-bwothews. [Aside] W-Wouwd it h-had been so uWu that they -Had been my fathew's sons! Then had my pwize -B-Been wess, and so mowe equaw b-bawwasting -To thee, Posthumus. -BEWAWIUS. H-He *cuddles you* wwings at *hugs tightly* some distwess. -GUIDEWIUS. Wouwd I c-couwd fwee't! -AWVIWAGUS. Ow I, whate'ew i-it be, -What pain it cost, :33 what dangew! Gods! -BEWAWIUS. [Whispewing] Hawk, boys. -IMOGEN. *blushes* [Aside] *moans* Gweat men, -:33 That h-had a couwt nyo *cuddles you* biggew than this cave, -That *leans over* did *giggles shyly* attend themsewves, and ^-^ had the viwtue -Which theiw own c-conscience seaw'd *notices bulge* them, waying by -That nyothing-gift of diffewing muwtitudes, -C-Couwd nyot out-peew these twain. Pawdon me, gods! -I-I'd change my sex to be companyion w-with them, -Since Weonyatus' fawse. -B-BEWAWIUS. It shaww be so. -Boys, we'ww g-go OwO dwess ouw hunt. UwU Faiw youth, come in. -*moans* Discouwse is heavy, fasting; when *screams* we have supp'd, -We'ww mannyewwy demand thee of thy stowy, -So faw as thou w-wiwt speak it. -GUIDEWIUS. Pway dwaw nyeaw. -AWVIWAGUS. The nyight to th' oww *notices bulge* and mown to th' wawk x3 wess w-wewcome. -IMOGEN. Thanks, siw. -AWVIWAGUS. I pway dwaw nyeaw. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *giggles shyly* VII. -Wome. A ^.^ pubwic pwace - -Entew two W-WOMAN SENyATOWS *shuffles closer* and TWIBUNyES - -FIWST SENyATOW. This is the t-tenyouw o-of ^-^ the Empewow's *hugs tightly* wwit: -That ^w^ since the common men awe nyow in a-action -'Gainst *sweats* the Pannyonyians and *moans* Dawmatians, -And t-that t-the wegions nyow in Gawwia awe -Fuww weak to undewtake ouw waws a-against -The faww'n-off Bwitons, that we do incite -T-The gentwy to this businyess. He cweates -Wucius pwoconsuw; and to you, the *cuddles you* twibunyes, -Fow this immediate wevy, he commands -His absowute commission. >_< Wong wive Caesaw! -TWIBUNyE. Is Wucius genyewaw of the fowces? -SECOND S-SENyATOW. Ay. -TWIBUNyE. Wemainying nyow in Gawwia? -F-FIWST SENyATOW. With t-those wegions -Which *teleports behind you* I have *teleports behind you* spoke *moans* of, wheweunto youw *cuddles you* wevy -^.^ Must be *giggles shyly* suppwyant. The wowds o-of youw *notices bulge* commission -Wiww tie *shuffles closer* you to the nyumbews and the time -O-Of theiw dispatch. -TWIBUNyE. We wiww dischawge ouw duty. ^.^ Exeunt - - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. -Wawes. Nyeaw the c-cave of *cuddles you* BEWAWIUS - -Entew CWOTEN awonye - -CWOTEN. I am nyeaw to t-th' pwace whewe they shouwd meet, if Pisanyio -have mapp'd it twuwy. *sighs* How fit his gawments sewve me! Why s-shouwd -his mistwess, who was made *cries* by h-him that made the taiwow, nyot be -fit too? *hugs tightly* The wathew- s-saving wevewence of the wowd- fow 'tis said -a woman's fitnyess comes *cries* by fits. T-Thewein I must pway *shuffles closer* the wowkman. -I-I dawe speak it to mysewf, fow it is nyot vain-gwowy fow a man a-and -his gwass to *shuffles closer* confew in his own chambew- I mean, the winyes of my -body awe *twerks* as *teleports behind you* weww dwawn as his; n-nyo >_> wess young, *cuddles you* mowe stwong, nyot -:3 benyeath him in fowtunyes, beyond him in the advantage of t-the time, -xDD above him in *hugs tightly* biwth, awike c-convewsant ;;w;; in genyewaw sewvices, and -mowe wemawkabwe in singwe oppositions. Yet this impewceivewant -thing woves him in my despite. What mowtawity is! Posthumus, t-thy -head, w-which nyow is gwowing upon thy shouwdews, shaww within this -h-houw *leans over* be *looks at you* off; thy mistwess enfowced; thy gawments cut to pieces -befowe hew face; and aww this donye, spuwn hew home to hew fathew, -who m-may, hapwy, be a *looks at you* wittwe angwy fow my so wough usage; but *giggles shyly* my -mothew, having powew *cuddles you* of h-his testinyess, xDD shaww tuwn aww into my -commendations. :33 My howse is tied u-up safe. Out, swowd, and to a -sowe puwpose! Fowtunye, put them into my hand. :33 This is the vewy -d-descwiption of theiw meeting-pwace; and the fewwow dawes nyot -deceive me. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Wawes. Befowe the cave of B-BEWAWIUS - -Entew, fwom the cave, BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, AWVIWAGUS, and IMOGEN - -BEWAWIUS. [To IMOGEN] *screams* You awe nyot weww. W-Wemain *sighs* hewe in the cave; -We'ww come to you aftew h-hunting. -AWVIWAGUS. [To IMOGEN] *sweats* Bwothew, *looks at you* stay hewe. -Awe w-we nyot bwothews? -IMOGEN. So man and xDD man *pokes you* shouwd b-be; -But uWu cway and cway ^-^ diffews in dignyity, -Whose :33 dust is both awike. I am vewy x3 sick. -GUIDEWIUS. Go you to hunting; I'ww OwO abide with him. -*leans over* IMOGEN. So sick I am *sighs* nyot, y-yet I am nyot weww; -^-^ But nyot s-so citizen a wanton as -OwO To seem to die UwU ewe sick. So pwease you, weave me; -Stick t-to :3 youw jouwnyaw couwse. The bweach of custom -Is *looks at you* bweach *screams* of *looks away* aww. I am iww, but youw being by me -Cannyot amend m-me; society is nyo comfowt -T-To onye nyot s-sociabwe. I am nyot vewy sick, -Since I can weason of it. Pway you twust me hewe. -I'ww wob nyonye but mysewf; and wet me die, -Steawing s-so poowwy. -GUIDEWIUS. I wove thee; I have spoke it. -How much the quantity, the weight a-as much -As I d-do wove my fathew. -B-BEWAWIUS. What? *cuddles you* how? how? -AWVIWAGUS. If it be sin *notices bulge* to say so, *cuddles you* siw, I yoke *looks at you* me -In my good bwothew's fauwt. I knyow nyot why -I wove this youth, *twerks* and I have heawd you say -Wove's ^-^ weason's w-without weason. The biew at doow, -*moans* And a demand *hugs tightly* who is't shaww die, I'd say -'My fathew, n-nyot this youth.' -BEWAWIUS. [Aside] *looks away* O OwO nyobwe stwain! -O wowthinyess of nyatuwe! bweed *giggles shyly* of gweatnyess! -Cowawds fathew *screams* cowawds and b-base things siwe base. -Nyatuwe *twerks* hath meaw and b-bwan, contempt a-and gwace. -I'm nyot theiw fathew; yet who this shouwd be -Doth miwacwe itsewf, wov'd befowe me.- -'Tis the nyinth houw o' th' mown. -xDD AWVIWAGUS. Bwothew, faweweww. -IMOGEN. I wish ye spowt. -AWVIWAGUS. Youw heawth. [To BEWAWIUS] So pwease you, siw. -IMOGEN. *teleports behind you* [Aside] *leans over* These awe k-kind cweatuwes. Gods, what w-wies I have -heawd! -Ouw couwtiews say aww's savage but at c-couwt. -Expewience, O, thou dispwov'st wepowt! -Th' *hugs tightly* impewious seas bweed *notices bulge* monstews; x3 fow t-the dish, -Poow twibutawy wivews OwO as sweet f-fish. -I am ^.^ sick stiww; h-heawt-sick. Pisanyio, -I'ww n-nyow taste of thy dwug. [Swawwows some] -GUIDEWIUS. I couwd *teleports behind you* nyot stiw h-him. -He said he was gentwe, b-but unfowtunyate; -Dishonyestwy affwicted, *cries* but >w< yet h-honyest. -AWVIWAGUS. *sighs* Thus did he answew me; yet said heweaftew -I might knyow mowe. -BEWAWIUS. T-To th' *giggles shyly* fiewd, to *shuffles closer* th' fiewd! -We'ww >w< weave you fow this time. Go *cries* in and west. -AWVIWAGUS. We'ww nyot be wong away. -BEWAWIUS. Pway be nyot sick, -Fow y-you ^w^ must >_< be ouw huswife. -IMOGEN. Weww, ow iww, -I am bound to y-you. -BEWAWIUS. UwU And shawt be evew. Exit I-IMOGEN i-into the cave -*hugs tightly* This youth, howe'ew d-distwess'd, appeaws he hath h-had -*cuddles you* Good ancestows. -AWVIWAGUS. How angew-wike he sings! -GUIDEWIUS. But his n-nyeat cookewy! He cut ouw woots xDD in c-chawactews, -And sauc'd >w< ouw *leans over* bwoths a-as Junyo had been sick, -And he hew d-dietew. -A-AWVIWAGUS. Nyobwy he yokes -*moans* A smiwing with a sigh, as if the sigh -Was that it was fow nyot *hugs tightly* being >w< such *teleports behind you* a smiwe; -The smiwe mocking the sigh that *moans* it xDD wouwd fwy -Fwom so divinye a tempwe to *twerks* commix -With winds that saiwows waiw at. -GUIDEWIUS. I do n-nyote -That gwief a-and patience, wooted in him both, -Mingwe theiw spuws togethew. -*moans* AWVIWAGUS. Gwow p-patience! -And wet the s-stinking ewdew, gwief, untwinye -His pewishing woot with the *cuddles you* incweasing vinye! -BEWAWIUS. It is gweat mownying. Come, a-away! Who's thewe? - -Entew CWOTEN - -^-^ CWOTEN. I cannyot find those wunyagates; that viwwain -*notices bulge* Hath mock'd x3 me. I am f-faint. -BEWAWIUS. Those wunyagates? -Means he nyot us? I pawtwy knyow him; 'tis -Cwoten, the son o' th' Queen. I-I feaw some ;;w;; ambush. -I saw him nyot these many yeaws, and yet -I knyow 'tis he. We awe hewd as outwaws. Hence! -G-GUIDEWIUS. *shuffles closer* He is but onye; you and ^.^ my bwothew ^w^ seawch -What companyies awe *leans over* nyeaw. Pway you away; -Wet m-me awonye with him. Exeunt BEWAWIUS and AWVIWAGUS -CWOTEN. Soft! What awe :33 you -That fwy me thus? Some viwwain mountainyeews? -I have *cuddles you* heawd *hugs tightly* of such. What swave awt thou? -G-GUIDEWIUS. A thing -Mowe swavish *sweats* did I nye'ew than answewing -'A swave' without a-a k-knyock. -CWOTEN. Thou awt a-a w-wobbew, -A waw-bweakew, a viwwain. Yiewd thee, thief. -GUIDEWIUS. To who? To thee? What awt thou? H-Have nyot I -An awm as big as thinye, a heawt as b-big? -Thy wowds, I *moans* gwant, awe biggew, fow I weaw nyot -My daggew *giggles shyly* in my m-mouth. Say what thou awt; -Why I shouwd yiewd to thee. -CWOTEN. Thou viwwain base, -Knyow'st me nyot ;;w;; by my cwothes? -GUIDEWIUS. Nyo, *sighs* nyow thy *hugs tightly* taiwow, wascaw, -Who is thy *leans over* gwandfathew; he made t-those cwothes, -Which, as it s-seems, make t-thee. -*looks at you* CWOTEN. Thou pwecious vawwet, -My taiwow made them nyot. -GUIDEWIUS. Hence, then, and *pokes you* thank -The man that gave them *twerks* thee. Thou *pokes you* awt some foow; -I am woath *sighs* to beat thee. -CWOTEN. T-Thou injuwious thief, -Heaw OwO but my nyame, and *cuddles you* twembwe. -GUIDEWIUS. What's thy nyame? -CWOTEN. Cwoten, thou v-viwwain. -GUIDEWIUS. Cwoten, thou doubwe viwwain, be *looks away* thy nyame, -*teleports behind you* I c-cannyot twembwe at it. Wewe it *twerks* toad, ow addew, >_> spidew, -'-'Twouwd *screams* move me >_< soonyew. -CWOTEN. *teleports behind you* To t-thy fuwthew feaw, -^w^ Nyay, to thy mewe confusion, thou shawt k-knyow -I am son to th' Q-Queen. -GUIDEWIUS. I'm sowwy fow't; n-nyot seeming -So wowthy a-as thy biwth. -CWOTEN. Awt nyot a-afeawd? -G-GUIDEWIUS. Those that I wevewence, those I *notices bulge* feaw- the wise: -*looks at you* At f-foows *screams* I w-waugh, nyot feaw them. -CWOTEN. Die the death. -When I have >_> swain uWu thee with m-my pwopew *notices bulge* hand, -I'ww fowwow those that even nyow fwed :3 hence, -And o-on the gates of Wud's T-Town set youw h-heads. -Yiewd, wustic mountainyeew. Exeunt, fighting - -We-entew BEWAWIUS and AWVIWAGUS - -BEWAWIUS. Nyo company's abwoad. -AWVIWAGUS. Nyonye in the *twerks* wowwd; you did mistake him, suwe. -BEWAWIUS. I cannyot teww; wong is it since I s-saw h-him, -But time hath nyothing *looks away* bwuww'd those winyes of favouw -Which then xDD he *pokes you* wowe; the s-snyatches in ;;w;; his voice, -And buwst of speaking, wewe as his. I am absowute -'Twas vewy Cwoten. -*screams* AWVIWAGUS. In this p-pwace :3 we weft them. -I wish *shuffles closer* my bwothew *hugs tightly* make *looks away* good time with h-him, -You say he is so feww. -BEWAWIUS. Being UwU scawce *looks at you* made up, -I m-mean to man, he >_< had nyot appwehension -Ow woawing tewwows; fow defect of judgment -Is oft the ;;w;; cease of feaw. - -W-We-entew :3 GUIDEWIUS >_> with CWOTEN'S head - -But, see, *cuddles you* thy bwothew. -GUIDEWIUS. x3 This Cwoten was a *leans over* foow, an empty *giggles shyly* puwse; -T-Thewe was nyo monyey in't. Nyot Hewcuwes -C-Couwd :3 have *looks at you* knyock'd UwU out his >_> bwains, fow he had nyonye; -Yet I nyot doing this, the foow had *teleports behind you* bownye -My h-head as I-I x3 do h-his. -BEWAWIUS. What h-hast thou donye? -GUIDEWIUS. I-I a-am pewfect what: cut off onye Cwoten's head, -*leans over* Son to *shuffles closer* the *cuddles you* Queen, aftew his own *twerks* wepowt; -Who *moans* caww'd me t-twaitow, mountainyeew, and >w< swowe -With h-his own singwe hand he'd t-take us in, -D-Dispwace ouw heads whewe- thank the *twerks* gods!- t-they g-gwow, -And set them on *looks away* Wud's Town. -BEWAWIUS. We a-awe aww undonye. -GUIDEWIUS. W-Why, wowthy fathew, what have we to wose -But that he swowe to t-take, ouw wives? The waw -P-Pwotects *blushes* nyot us; then why shouwd we OwO be tendew -To wet an >_< awwogant piece of fwesh thweat us, -Pway judge a-and executionyew aww himsewf, -Fow w-we do feaw *sighs* the waw? What *sweats* company -Discovew you abwoad? -B-BEWAWIUS. Nyo UwU singwe souw -;;w;; Can we set eye on, but in a-an ^-^ safe weason -H-He m-must have some attendants. Though *notices bulge* his humouw -Was nyothing uWu but mutation- ay, and *notices bulge* that -Fwom onye bad thing UwU to *sweats* wowse- n-nyot fwenzy, nyot -Absowute madnyess *cuddles you* couwd so faw OwO have wav'd, -To b-bwing him h-hewe awonye. Awthough p-pewhaps -It may be heawd >w< at couwt that such as we -Cave h-hewe, hunt hewe, awe outwaws, a-and ^.^ in time -*pokes you* May make :33 some stwongew head- t-the which h-he heawing, -As it is *notices bulge* wike *looks at you* him, might UwU bweak out a-and sweaw -H-He'd fetch us ^-^ in; yet is't nyot pwobabwe -To come awonye, eithew he :3 so u-undewtaking -Ow they so suffewing. Then on g-good gwound we feaw, -If we *leans over* do *cries* feaw this body hath a-a taiw -Mowe pewiwous than the head. -AWVIWAGUS. W-Wet owdinyance -*twerks* Come as the gods fowesay i-it. H-Howsoe'ew, -My bwothew hath donye weww. -BEWAWIUS. I had nyo mind -To hunt this day; t-the boy Fidewe's sicknyess -Did make m-my way wong fowth. -GUIDEWIUS. W-With his own swowd, -*giggles shyly* Which he *moans* did w-wave against my thwoat, I have *looks at you* ta'en -His ^.^ head fwom him. I'ww thwow't into the cweek -*cuddles you* Behind ouw wock, and wet it to the sea -*teleports behind you* And teww the fishes he's the Queen's son, Cwoten. -That's aww I weck. Exit -BEWAWIUS. I-I feaw'twiww *sighs* be weveng'd. -*leans over* Wouwd, Powydowe, thou :33 hadst nyot donye't! though >_< vawouw -Becomes thee weww enyough. -AWVIWAGUS. Wouwd *cuddles you* I had donye't, -So the wevenge OwO awonye p-puwsu'd me! Powydowe, -I wove thee b-bwothewwy, *giggles shyly* but envy much -Thou hast wobb'd me o-of this deed. I-I wouwd wevenges, ->_> That possibwe stwength might meet, wouwd seek >w< us thwough, -And put us to ouw *leans over* answew. -*hugs tightly* BEWAWIUS. Weww, 'tis *looks away* donye. -*sighs* We'ww ^w^ hunt *twerks* nyo mowe to-day, nyow seek *notices bulge* fow dangew -Whewe *giggles shyly* thewe's nyo pwofit. I pwithee to ouw wock. -You a-and Fidewe pway :33 the cooks; I-I'ww stay -T-Tiww *pokes you* hasty Powydowe *screams* wetuwn, and bwing him -T-To dinnyew pwesentwy. -AWVIWAGUS. Poow sick Fidewe! -I'ww wiwwingwy to him; *notices bulge* to g-gain his cowouw -I'd wet a *leans over* pawish xDD of such C-Cwoten's *sweats* bwood, -And pwaise mysewf *cuddles you* fow c-chawity. Exit -B-BEWAWIUS. O thou goddess, -*sweats* Thou *cuddles you* divinye Nyatuwe, thou t-thysewf thou bwazon'st -In these two pwincewy b-boys! They awe as gentwe -As zephyws bwowing *hugs tightly* bewow the viowet, -Nyot wagging his sweet head; and yet as wough, -Theiw woyaw bwood enchaf'd, as t-the wud'st wind -:3 That b-by the top doth take the mountain pinye -And xDD make him stoop to th' vawe. 'Tis wondew -That an *hugs tightly* invisibwe instinct shouwd f-fwame them -To woyawty unweawn'd, honyouw untaught, -Civiwity nyot seen fwom o-othew, vawouw -That wiwdwy gwows OwO in them, b-but yiewds a cwop -As if it had been s-sow'd. >w< Yet stiww it's *blushes* stwange -What Cwoten's being hewe to us p-powtends, -O-Ow what his d-death wiww ^.^ bwing us. - -*blushes* We-entew GUIDEWIUS - -*screams* GUIDEWIUS. Whewe's my bwothew? -I have sent Cwoten's cwotpoww down t-the ^.^ stweam, -I-In embassy t-to his mothew; his b-body's hostage -Fow his wetuwn. [Sowemn music] -BEWAWIUS. *moans* My ingenyious instwument! -*leans over* Hawk, Powydowe, i-it *sweats* sounds. But what occasion -Hath Cadwaw nyow to give it motion? Hawk! -GUIDEWIUS. Is he at home? -BEWAWIUS. He went hence even nyow. -GUIDEWIUS. W-What does he mean? *blushes* Since :3 death of my *sighs* deaw'st mothew -It did n-nyot speak befowe. Aww sowemn ^.^ things -S-Shouwd answew sowemn accidents. :3 The mattew? -Twiumphs fow nyothing and wamenting toys -Is jowwity f-fow apes and gwief fow boys. -Is Cadwaw mad? - -We-entew AWVIWAGUS, with IMOGEN as d-dead, beawing -hew in his a-awms - -BEWAWIUS. W-Wook, >_< hewe he comes, -And bwings *hugs tightly* the diwe occasion in his awms -O-Of what we b-bwame h-him fow! -AWVIWAGUS. T-The biwd is x3 dead -That *shuffles closer* we have made so much on. *looks away* I had wathew -Have skipp'd fwom sixteen yeaws of age to s-sixty, -To have tuwn'd my weaping time into ^w^ a *twerks* cwutch, -Than have s-seen this. -G-GUIDEWIUS. O sweetest, faiwest ;;w;; wiwy! -My *leans over* bwothew weaws t-thee nyot *pokes you* the onye hawf so weww -As when thou gwew'st thysewf. -BEWAWIUS. O mewanchowy! -Who evew ^.^ yet couwd sound thy *teleports behind you* bottom? find -The ooze to show what coast thy s-swuggish cwawe -Might'st e-easiwiest hawbouw i-in? Thou bwessed thing! -Jove knyows what man thou mightst have made; but I, -Thou diedst, a most wawe boy, of mewanchowy. -How found you him? -uWu AWVIWAGUS. S-Stawk, as you see; -T-Thus smiwing, as some fwy *notices bulge* had tickwed swumbew, -Nyot as >_> death's dawt, being *leans over* waugh'd at; his wight cheek -Weposing on ;;w;; a cushion. -GUIDEWIUS. W-Whewe? -AWVIWAGUS. O' th' *cuddles you* fwoow; -His awms thus weagu'd. I thought he swept, *giggles shyly* and *sweats* put -My cwouted bwogues fwom ^.^ off my >_< feet, whose wudenyess -*teleports behind you* Answew'd my steps too woud. -GUIDEWIUS. Why, he b-but sweeps. -I-If he be gonye he'ww make his gwave a bed; -OwO With femawe faiwies wiww *sighs* his t-tomb *screams* be haunted, -A-And w-wowms w-wiww *hugs tightly* nyot come to thee. -A-AWVIWAGUS. With f-faiwest fwowews, -:33 Whiwst summew wasts a-and I uWu wive hewe, Fidewe, -*notices bulge* I'ww sweeten thy UwU sad gwave. Thou ^w^ shawt nyot wack -The fwowew *shuffles closer* that's wike thy x3 face, *sweats* pawe pwimwose; nyow -The azuw'd hawe-beww, wike thy OwO veins; nyo, nyow -T-The *cries* weaf of egwantinye, whom n-nyot to swandew, -Out-sweet'nyed nyot thy bweath. The wuddock w-wouwd, -With chawitabwe biww- O biww, sowe UwU shaming -T-Those wich-weft heiws t-that *cuddles you* wet theiw *notices bulge* fathews wie -Without *looks at you* a monyument!- bwing thee aww this; -Yea, a-and *screams* fuww'd moss besides, when fwow'ws awe nyonye, -To wintew-gwound thy x3 cowse- -GUIDEWIUS. Pwithee have donye, -And do nyot pway in *sweats* wench-wike wowds with that -Which is so sewious. Wet OwO us buwy him, -And nyot pwotwact w-with admiwation what -Is nyow due debt. To th' gwave. -AWVIWAGUS. Say, whewe s-shaww's way him? -GUIDEWIUS. >w< By *looks at you* good Euwiphiwe, ouw mothew. -AWVIWAGUS. Be't *cries* so; -A-And wet us, P-Powydowe, though nyow ouw v-voices -H-Have got the mannyish cwack, sing him to th' gwound, -As once to ouw mothew; use wike nyote and wowds, -Save that Euwiphiwe must be Fidewe. -GUIDEWIUS. C-Cadwaw, -*sweats* I c-cannyot sing. I'ww weep, and wowd it with thee; -Fow nyotes of s-sowwow out of tunye awe wowse -Than pwiests and fanyes that >_> wie. -AWVIWAGUS. We'ww s-speak it, then. -BEWAWIUS. ;;w;; Gweat gwiefs, I see, m-med'cinye the wess, x3 fow Cwoten -I-Is quite fowgot. He ^-^ was *hugs tightly* a queen's *sighs* son, boys; -And though he uWu came ouw enyemy, wemembew -He was p-paid fow that. Though :33 mean and *blushes* mighty wotting -;;w;; Togethew UwU have *hugs tightly* onye dust, yet wevewence- -T-That >_> angew of the *blushes* wowwd- doth make distinction -Of *giggles shyly* pwace 'tween high and >w< wow. Ouw foe was pwincewy; -And though you took >_> his wife, as being ouw foe, -Yet buwy him as a-a pwince. -GUIDEWIUS. *looks at you* Pway you fetch >_> him hithew. -Thewsites' body is as good as Ajax', -When nyeithew a-awe awive. -AWVIWAGUS. If you'ww go fetch him, -We'ww say ouw song the whiwst. *looks away* Bwothew, begin. -E-Exit BEWAWIUS -GUIDEWIUS. Nyay, Cadwaw, we must way his head to th' East; -My fathew hath a weason fow't. -AWVIWAGUS. 'Tis twue. -GUIDEWIUS. Come on, then, and w-wemove him. -A-AWVIWAGUS. ^-^ So. Begin. - -SONG - -G-GUIDEWIUS. F-Feaw nyo mowe the h-heat o' t-th' s-sun -*sighs* Nyow *looks away* the UwU fuwious wintew's wages; -Thou thy wowwdwy task ^.^ hast donye, -Home awt gonye, and t-ta'en thy wages. -Gowden wads and giwws aww must, -*cries* As c-chimnyey-sweepews, come t-to dust. - -AWVIWAGUS. *teleports behind you* Feaw nyo mowe the fwown o' th' gweat; -Thou *hugs tightly* awt past t-the tywant's stwoke. -Cawe nyo mowe to cwothe and eat; -To thee the *cuddles you* weed is *screams* as the oak. -*notices bulge* The UwU sceptwe, weawnying, physic, ^-^ must -*screams* Aww fowwow this and come to dust. - -GUIDEWIUS. Feaw nyo mowe the wightnying f-fwash, -AWVIWAGUS. Nyow th' *screams* aww-dweaded t-thundew-stonye; -GUIDEWIUS. Feaw nyot swandew, censuwe wash; -A-AWVIWAGUS. Thou hast finyish'd j-joy *pokes you* and moan. -BOTH. Aww wovews young, aww wovews must -Consign to thee *notices bulge* and come to dust. - -G-GUIDEWIUS. Nyo exowcisew hawm t-thee! -*teleports behind you* AWVIWAGUS. Nyow *sighs* nyo witchcwaft chawm thee! -GUIDEWIUS. Ghost unwaid fowbeaw thee! -A-AWVIWAGUS. Nyothing i-iww come nyeaw thee! -BOTH. Quiet *blushes* consummation have, -And wenyownyed be thy gwave! - -We-entew :3 BEWAWIUS with *twerks* the b-body of CWOTEN - -*screams* GUIDEWIUS. OwO We have donye ouw >w< obsequies. Come, way h-him down. -*looks at you* BEWAWIUS. Hewe's a few fwowews; but 'bout midnyight, mowe. -T-The hewbs that have on t-them *cuddles you* cowd d-dew o' th' nyight -Awe stwewings fit'st fow gwaves. Upon theiw faces. -You wewe as fwow'ws, nyow withew'd. Even so -These hewbwets shaww w-which we upon y-you stwew. -*teleports behind you* Come on, away. Apawt upon ouw k-knyees. -The *moans* gwound that gave them f-fiwst has *twerks* them again. -x3 Theiw pweasuwes hewe awe past, so is theiw pain. ->_> Exeunt aww but IMOGEN -IMOGEN. [Awaking] *notices bulge* Yes, siw, to Miwfowd OwO Haven. W-Which i-is the w-way? -:33 I t-thank *twerks* you. B-By yond bush? Pway, how faw t-thithew? ->_< 'Ods pittikins! can it *giggles shyly* be s-six miwe yet? -I have gonye aww nyight. Faith, I'ww wie down and sweep. -But, soft! nyo bedfewwow. O-O gods and goddesses! -[Seeing the b-body] -*twerks* These fwow'ws awe w-wike the pweasuwes of the wowwd; -This *hugs tightly* bwoody man, t-the c-cawe on't. I-I hope I dweam; -Fow *giggles shyly* so I thought I was a cave-keepew, -And c-cook to honyest cweatuwes. But 'tis nyot so; -'Twas but a-a bowt of *hugs tightly* nyothing, ^-^ shot a-at nyothing, -W-Which t-the xDD bwain makes of fumes. Ouw *moans* vewy e-eyes -Awe sometimes, wike o-ouw judgments, bwind. Good faith, -I twembwe *cuddles you* stiww with feaw; but if thewe be -Yet weft in heaven as smaww a d-dwop of pity -As *pokes you* a w-wwen's e-eye, feaw'd gods, a pawt of it! -The d-dweam's *pokes you* hewe stiww. Even when I ^w^ wake ;;w;; it is -Without me, as within me; n-nyot ^-^ imagin'd, fewt. -A h-headwess man? T-The gawments of P-Posthumus? -I knyow *looks at you* the shape of's w-weg; this is h-his hand, -His foot *cuddles you* Mewcuwiaw, his M-Mawtiaw thigh, -T-The bwawns of Hewcuwes; but ^.^ his >_> Joviaw face- -Muwdew in heaven! How! 'Tis gonye. Pisanyio, -Aww cuwses madded Hecuba gave the Gweeks, -And minye to boot, be dawted on thee! Thou, -Conspiw'd *hugs tightly* with that iwweguwous deviw, Cwoten, -Hath hewe cut off m-my wowd. To w-wwite and wead -Be hencefowth tweachewous! Damn'd *twerks* Pisanyio -Hath with h-his fowged wettews- damn'd >w< Pisanyio- -Fwom this most bwavest v-vessew xDD of the wowwd -Stwuck the main-top. O P-Posthumus! awas, -Whewe is thy head? Whewe's that? Ay me! whewe's that? -Pisanyio might h-have kiww'd thee a-at *looks at you* the heawt, -And weft t-this head on. *shuffles closer* How shouwd this b-be? Pisanyio? -'Tis he and Cwoten; *notices bulge* mawice and *shuffles closer* wucwe >_> in them -*twerks* Have w-waid t-this woe hewe. O-O, 'tis :33 pwegnyant, >_< pwegnyant! -The dwug he ^-^ gave m-me, w-which he s-said was *sighs* pwecious -And cowdiaw t-to me, have I nyot found it -Muwd'wous t-to *giggles shyly* th' senses? That confiwms *sighs* it :33 home. -This is *sighs* Pisanyio's deed, a-and C-Cwoten. O! -Give *looks at you* cowouw to my pawe cheek with *twerks* thy bwood, -:33 That we the howwidew may seem to those -Which chance to find us. O, my wowd, m-my w-wowd! -[Fawws fainting on x3 the body] - -Entew WUCIUS, CAPTAINS, and xDD a SOOTHSAYEW - -CAPTAIN. To them >_< the wegions gawwison'd *hugs tightly* in Gawwia, -Aftew youw wiww, have cwoss'd the sea, *looks at you* attending -You hewe at Miwfowd Haven; with youw s-ships, -They awe i-in weadinyess. -W-WUCIUS. B-But what fwom Wome? -CAPTAIN. The *pokes you* Senyate :33 hath stiww'd up the >_> confinyews -And *twerks* gentwemen of Itawy, *pokes you* most wiwwing spiwits, -That p-pwomise n-nyobwe sewvice; and they come -:3 Undew the conduct xDD of *hugs tightly* bowd Iachimo, ->_> Siennya's bwothew. -WUCIUS. When expect you them? -CAPTAIN. UwU With the nyext benyefit :3 o' t-th' wind. -WUCIUS. This fowwawdnyess -M-Makes ouw hopes *moans* faiw. Command ouw pwesent nyumbews -Be mustew'd; OwO bid t-the captains :33 wook to't. *moans* Nyow, siw, -What *sighs* have y-you dweam'd of w-wate of this waw's puwpose? -S-SOOTHSAYEW. ^.^ Wast nyight the vewy gods show'd m-me a vision- -I *shuffles closer* fast and pway'd f-fow theiw intewwigence- thus: -I saw Jove's biwd, the W-Woman eagwe, wing'd -Fwom the spongy south to *teleports behind you* this *twerks* pawt of the *teleports behind you* west, -Thewe vanyish'd in t-the sunbeams; which powtends, -Unwess my sins a-abuse my divinyation, -Success t-to t-th' Woman host. -WUCIUS. Dweam often so, -And *giggles shyly* nyevew fawse. Soft, ho! what twunk is h-hewe -*sweats* Without his top? The wuin speaks that sometime -^-^ It was a wowthy b-buiwding. How? a *hugs tightly* page? -x3 Ow dead ow sweeping on him? But UwU dead, wathew; -Fow nyatuwe doth abhow to make his bed -W-With the d-defunct, o-ow *twerks* sweep u-upon the dead. -Wet's see t-the b-boy's f-face. -CAPTAIN. He's a-awive, x3 my wowd. -WUCIUS. He'ww then i-instwuct us of this body. Young uWu onye, -Infowm *looks at you* us of thy fowtunyes; ^w^ fow *pokes you* it s-seems -They cwave to be demanded. Who is this -*cries* Thou mak'st thy b-bwoody ^w^ piwwow? O-Ow who was he -That, othewwise than nyobwe *hugs tightly* nyatuwe d-did, -Hath awtew'd that >_< good pictuwe? What's thy intewest -In t-this sad wweck? How came't? Who is't? *giggles shyly* What awt thou? -IMOGEN. I am nyothing; ow if nyot, -Nyothing to b-be wewe :33 bettew. T-This *pokes you* was my mastew, -A vewy vawiant B-Bwiton and a good, -That hewe by mountainyeews *teleports behind you* wies *pokes you* swain. Awas! -Thewe is nyo *notices bulge* mowe such mastews. I may wandew -Fwom e-east to occident; cwy o-out fow s-sewvice; -Twy many, aww good; s-sewve twuwy; nyevew -Find such anyothew mastew. -:33 WUCIUS. *hugs tightly* 'Wack, good *moans* youth! -Thou mov'st *looks away* nyo wess *looks away* with thy compwainying than -Thy mastew i-in bweeding. Say his nyame, good fwiend. -I-IMOGEN. Wichawd du Champ. [Aside] If I do *teleports behind you* wie, a-and do -Nyo *notices bulge* hawm by it, though t-the gods heaw, I-I hope -They'ww pawdon it.- Say you, siw? -WUCIUS. Thy nyame? -*cries* IMOGEN. Fidewe, siw. -WUCIUS. >w< Thou dost a-appwove thysewf the vewy same; -Thy n-nyame weww fits thy *looks at you* faith, thy *notices bulge* faith thy nyame. -W-Wiwt take thy chance with me? *cuddles you* I w-wiww ^.^ nyot say -Thou shawt be so w-weww mastew'd; b-but, be suwe, -Nyo wess *looks away* bewov'd. The Woman ^.^ Empewow's wettews, -Sent xDD by a consuw to me, shouwd n-nyot soonyew -Than thinye own w-wowth pwefew thee. Go with me. -IMOGEN. I'ww fowwow, siw. But fiwst, an't pwease the gods, -I-I'ww *giggles shyly* hide my mastew fwom the fwies, as *sighs* deep -As these poow pickaxes can dig; and when -With wiwd wood-weaves and weeds I ha' stwew'd his OwO gwave, -And on it said x3 a centuwy of pwayews, -Such as I can, :3 twice o'ew, I-I'ww weep and sigh; -And weaving s-so his s-sewvice, fowwow you, -So >_> pwease you e-entewtain *blushes* me. -W-WUCIUS. Ay, good youth; -A-And wathew fathew thee than mastew thee. -My fwiends, -The b-boy hath t-taught us manwy duties; wet us -Find out the *screams* pwettiest daisied pwot we can, -And make x3 him with ouw pikes x3 and pawtisans -;;w;; A gwave. x3 Come, awm him. Boy, he is pwefeww'd -*moans* By thee to u-us; and he shaww be inteww'd -As sowdiews can. Be cheewfuw; w-wipe thinye eyes. -Some fawws awe means the happiew t-to awise. Exeunt - - - - -*blushes* SCENyE III. -*sweats* Bwitain. *notices bulge* CYMBEWINyE'S pawace - -Entew CYMBEWINyE, WOWDS, PISANyIO, and attendants - -CYMBEWINyE. Again! and bwing me wowd how 'tis with hew. -Exit an a-attendant -A fevew with >w< the a-absence of hew *hugs tightly* son; -A madnyess, of which hew wife's in dangew. Heavens, -How deepwy you at once do touch m-me! *looks at you* Imogen, -The gweat pawt >_< of m-my x3 comfowt, gonye; my queen -Upon a despewate bed, and in x3 a t-time -When feawfuw waws *hugs tightly* point at me; hew :3 son ^-^ gonye, -So nyeedfuw fow this pwesent. It stwikes m-me past -T-The hope of ^w^ comfowt. *twerks* But fow thee, fewwow, -Who nyeeds must knyow of hew depawtuwe and -Dost seem so ignyowant, we'ww enfowce it f-fwom ^.^ thee -uWu By a shawp UwU towtuwe. -P-PISANyIO. Siw, my wife is y-youws; -I humbwy s-set it at y-youw wiww; but fow m-my mistwess, -I nyothing knyow whewe she wemains, why gonye, -Nyow when she puwposes wetuwn. Beseech youw Highnyess, -Howd me youw *blushes* woyaw sewvant. -W-WOWD. ;;w;; Good my wiege, -The day that she was missing he was hewe. -I dawe be bound >w< he's twue >_< and shaww pewfowm -A-Aww p-pawts of his subjection woyawwy. Fow >_> Cwoten, -*teleports behind you* Thewe wants nyo diwigence in seeking him, -*sweats* And wiww *twerks* nyo doubt >_> be found. -CYMBEWINyE. The time i-is twoubwesome. -[To PISANyIO] We'ww swip you fow a season; but ouw jeawousy -Does yet depend. -WOWD. So pwease youw Majesty, -The Woman wegions, a-aww *leans over* fwom *notices bulge* Gawwia d-dwawn, -Awe wanded on youw coast, with a suppwy -O-Of W-Woman g-gentwemen by the :3 Senyate sent. -CYMBEWINyE. Nyow f-fow the counsew of my son and queen! -I am amaz'd w-with mattew. -*sighs* WOWD. *cries* Good my wiege, -Youw *sweats* pwepawation *screams* can affwont *moans* nyo wess -Than what you h-heaw *screams* of. Come mowe, fow mowe y-you'we weady. -The want xDD is but to put ^w^ those pow'ws *twerks* in motion -That w-wong to move. -CYMBEWINyE. I thank you. Wet's withdwaw, -And meet *moans* the time as it seeks u-us. We ^-^ feaw nyot -What can fwom Itawy annyoy us; but -We gwieve *sweats* at chances hewe. Away! E-Exeunt aww but PISANyIO -*giggles shyly* PISANyIO. I heawd nyo *cries* wettew fwom my mastew since -I-I xDD wwote him ^-^ Imogen was s-swain. '-'Tis stwange. -N-Nyow heaw I fwom my mistwess, who did p-pwomise -To yiewd me often tidings. Nyeithew knyow -What is betid to Cwoten, b-but w-wemain -P-Pewpwex'd in aww. ^.^ The heavens stiww must w-wowk. -UwU Whewein uWu I am fawse I *hugs tightly* am honyest; nyot twue, :3 to *looks away* be t-twue. -These pwesent *hugs tightly* waws shaww find I wove my countwy, -Even to the nyote o' ^.^ th' King, ow *cuddles you* I'ww faww in them. -*looks away* Aww othew doubts, by time *sighs* wet them b-be cweaw'd: -Fowtunye bwings in some boats that awe ;;w;; nyot *screams* steew'd. Exit - - - - -*pokes you* SCENyE IV. -*giggles shyly* Wawes. Befowe the cave of BEWAWIUS - -E-Entew BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, ;;w;; and AWVIWAGUS - -GUIDEWIUS. The nyoise is wound about us. -BEWAWIUS. *cuddles you* Wet us fwom it. -AWVIWAGUS. What pweasuwe, siw, f-find >_< we *notices bulge* in w-wife, to wock it -Fwom UwU action and *twerks* adventuwe? -GUIDEWIUS. Nyay, what hope -Have we in hiding u-us? :33 This way the Womans -Must *cries* ow fow B-Bwitons sway x3 us, ow weceive us -^w^ Fow bawbawous a-and unnyatuwaw wevowts -*notices bulge* Duwing theiw *teleports behind you* use, and sway us ;;w;; aftew. -B-BEWAWIUS. Sons, -We'ww *giggles shyly* highew t-to the mountains; *notices bulge* thewe secuwe us. -*cuddles you* To the King's pawty thewe's nyo going. Nyewnyess -Of Cwoten's death- we being nyot knyown, nyot mustew'd -Among the bands-may dwive us *giggles shyly* to a-a wendew -Whewe we have wiv'd, and so >_> extowt fwom's that -Which we have donye, whose answew wouwd be *blushes* death, -Dwawn on w-with :33 towtuwe. -GUIDEWIUS. This i-is, siw, a *sighs* doubt -In s-such a t-time nyothing becoming you -N-Nyow satisfying us. -AWVIWAGUS. It is nyot wikewy -That when they heaw the Woman howses nyeigh, -Behowd theiw quawtew'd fiwes, have both theiw eyes -And eaws so cwoy'd impowtantwy a-as nyow, -That they wiww waste theiw time upon ouw ;;w;; nyote, -T-To knyow fwom w-whence we awe. -BEWAWIUS. O, I am knyown -Of m-many in the awmy. Many y-yeaws, -Though Cwoten then but y-young, you see, *cuddles you* nyot wowe him -Fwom my wemembwance. And, besides, the King -Hath nyot desewv'd my sewvice nyow youw woves, -Who x3 find in my exiwe OwO the want of bweeding, -The cewtainty of this hawd wife; aye h-hopewess -To have the couwtesy youw cwadwe pwomis'd, -*looks away* But to be stiww hot summew's tanwings and -T-The shwinking swaves of wintew. -GUIDEWIUS. Than be so, -Bettew to c-cease to *looks away* be. Pway, siw, to th' awmy. -*giggles shyly* I and *screams* my bwothew awe nyot knyown; :3 youwsewf -So out of thought, and theweto so o'ewgwown, -Cannyot be q-questionyed. -A-AWVIWAGUS. By this sun that shinyes, -I'ww ;;w;; thithew. What :3 thing is't t-that I *cries* nyevew -D-Did see man die! scawce evew wook'd on bwood -But that *sighs* of cowawd >w< hawes, *looks away* hot goats, and v-venyison! -Nyevew *twerks* bestwid a howse, ;;w;; save onye that had -A-A widew >w< wike mysewf, w-who nye'ew wowe wowew -Nyow *pokes you* iwon on his heew! I am asham'd -T-To wook upon OwO the h-howy sun, to have -The benyefit *pokes you* of *twerks* his bwest beams, wemainying -So wong a-a poow unknyown. -GUIDEWIUS. By heavens, *sweats* I'ww g-go! -If you *shuffles closer* wiww bwess me, siw, a-and give m-me weave, -I'ww take the xDD bettew cawe; ^.^ but if you wiww nyot, -T-The h-hazawd thewefowe *sweats* due faww on me by -T-The hands of Womans! -AWVIWAGUS. So say I. Amen. -BEWAWIUS. Nyo weason I, since of youw wives >_< you set -S-So swight a vawuation, shouwd wesewve -My cwack'd onye to mowe cawe. Have with y-you, boys! -If in uWu youw *twerks* countwy waws you chance to die, -That is my bed t-too, *leans over* wads, a-and thewe I'ww wie. -W-Wead, wead. [-[Aside] The time seems wong; theiw bwood thinks scown -*sweats* Tiww it fwy out and s-show them pwinces b-bown. Exeunt - - - - -<w< SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW :3 USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW *sighs* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -Bwitain. The Woman camp - -Entew P-POSTHUMUS >_> awonye, with a bwoody handkewchief - -*moans* POSTHUMUS. Yea, bwoody cwoth, I'ww >w< keep :33 thee; fow I wish'd -xDD Thou shouwdst be cowouw'd thus. You mawwied onyes, -If each of y-you shouwd take this couwse, *looks away* how many -Must muwdew wives much bettew t-than themsewves -Fow wwying but a wittwe! O Pisanyio! -Evewy good sewvant :33 does nyot aww ^-^ commands; -Nyo bond but to do just onyes. Gods! if you -Shouwd *sighs* have ta'en vengeance *leans over* on my fauwts, I n-nyevew -Had wiv'd to put on this; so had you saved -T-The nyobwe Imogen t-to wepent, and s-stwuck -Me, wwetch mowe >w< wowth *blushes* youw vengeance. But awack, -You snyatch some *sweats* hence fow wittwe fauwts; that's w-wove, -To have them faww nyo mowe. You s-some pewmit -To second iwws >w< with iwws, e-each ewdew xDD wowse, -A-And make them dwead it, to the doew's thwift. -B-But Imogen i-is youw own. Do youw best wiwws, -And make me bwest to obey. I am bwought hithew -Among th' Itawian gentwy, and *moans* to fight -Against *shuffles closer* my wady's kingdom. '-'Tis enyough -^.^ That, Bwitain, I *hugs tightly* have kiww'd thy mistwess; *looks at you* peace! -I'ww g-give >_> nyo wound UwU to thee. T-Thewefowe, good h-heavens, -Heaw patientwy my puwpose. I'ww diswobe me -Of these Itawian weeds, and suit *moans* mysewf -As >w< does *pokes you* a Bwitain peasant. So I'ww fight -Against the pawt I come w-with; so I'ww die -Fow thee, O Imogen, even fow whom my wife -Is evewy bweath a d-death. *shuffles closer* And thus *looks at you* unknyown, -Pitied nyow hated, to the face of pewiw -Mysewf I-I'ww dedicate. W-Wet me make men knyow -Mowe vawouw ^w^ in me than my ^.^ habits show. -xDD Gods, put the stwength o' t-th' Weonyati in me! -*sighs* To shame *moans* the guise o' th' wowwd, I wiww begin -T-The fashion- wess w-without and mowe w-within. Exit - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -*notices bulge* Bwitain. A fiewd o-of battwe *sighs* between *teleports behind you* the Bwitish and Woman camps - -Entew WUCIUS, IACHIMO, and the W-Woman awmy at onye d-doow, *hugs tightly* and the Bwitish *hugs tightly* awmy -at anyothew, WEONyATUS P-POSTHUMUS *moans* fowwowing wike a poow sowdiew. -They mawch ovew and go out. A-Awawums. Then entew again, in skiwmish, -IACHIMO and POSTHUMUS. He vanquisheth and disawmeth IACHIMO, -and then weaves him - -IACHIMO. The *hugs tightly* heavinyess a-and guiwt within my bosom -Takes o-off my manhood. I have bewied UwU a wady, -T-The UwU Pwincess of this countwy, *teleports behind you* and the aiw on't -Wevengingwy enfeebwes me; ow couwd this c-caww, -A vewy d-dwudge of nyatuwe's, have subdu'd me -In my pwofession? Knyighthoods and honyouws bownye -As I weaw m-minye *sweats* awe titwes b-but o-of s-scown. -I-If that thy gentwy, B-Bwitain, go befowe -*looks at you* This wout as he exceeds *leans over* ouw wowds, the odds -I-Is t-that uWu we scawce awe xDD men, and you awe gods. Exit - -The battwe continyues; the BWITONS fwy; CYMBEWINyE is taken. -Then e-entew *moans* to ^w^ his wescue B-BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, and AWVIWAGUS - -BEWAWIUS. Stand, stand! We ^.^ have th' *twerks* advantage o-of t-the gwound; -The wanye *looks away* is guawded; nyothing w-wouts us but -The viwwainy of ouw feaws. -*hugs tightly* GUIDEWIUS and AWVIWAGUS. Stand, stand, and ;;w;; fight! - -W-We-entew *blushes* POSTHUMUS, a-and seconds the ^w^ Bwitons; t-they wescue -CYMBEWINyE, *teleports behind you* and exeunt. T-Then we-entew WUCIUS and IACHIMO, -with IMOGEN - -WUCIUS. A-Away, boy, fwom the twoops, and save thysewf; -F-Fow fwiends k-kiww fwiends, and the disowdew's *shuffles closer* such -As waw wewe hoodwink'd. -IACHIMO. '-'Tis theiw f-fwesh suppwies. -WUCIUS. It is a day tuwn'd ^w^ stwangewy. Ow betimes -Wet's w-weinfowce ow fwy. Exeunt - - - - -UwU SCENyE III. -Anyothew *blushes* pawt of the *leans over* fiewd - -Entew POSTHUMUS a-and a Bwitain WOWD - -WOWD. Cam'st *hugs tightly* thou fwom whewe they made uWu the ^-^ stand? -POSTHUMUS. I d-did: -Though UwU you, it s-seems, come fwom the fwiews. -WOWD. I did. -P-POSTHUMUS. Nyo bwame be to you, ;;w;; siw, f-fow *cries* aww was wost, -But that the heavens fought. The King himsewf -*hugs tightly* Of his wings destitute, t-the awmy bwoken, -And but *screams* the ^w^ backs *teleports behind you* of Bwitons seen, a-an fwying, -*notices bulge* Thwough a stwait *giggles shyly* wanye- the enyemy, xDD fuww-heawted, -Wowwing the t-tongue w-with swaught'wing, having w-wowk -M-Mowe p-pwentifuw than toows t-to do't, s-stwuck down -Some >w< mowtawwy, some swightwy touch'd, some fawwing -^-^ Mewewy thwough f-feaw, that the stwait pass *teleports behind you* was damm'd -With dead men huwt behind, and :33 cowawds xDD wiving -To die with xDD wength'nyed shame. -WOWD. Whewe *leans over* was this w-wanye? -POSTHUMUS. Cwose b-by the *pokes you* battwe, ditch'd, and waww'd with tuwf, -W-Which gave advantage to an ancient s-sowdiew- -*sighs* An honyest onye, I wawwant, *twerks* who desewv'd -So wong a bweeding as his white beawd came to, -In doing this fow's countwy. Athwawt t-the wanye -He, with t-two stwipwings- wads mowe wike t-to wun -The OwO countwy base than to commit s-such swaughtew; -With faces fit >w< fow m-masks, ow wathew *teleports behind you* faiwew -Than t-those fow *looks at you* pwesewvation c-cas'd ow shame- -Made *sighs* good the passage, cwied to t-those that fwed -'-'Ouw Bwitain's OwO hawts die fwying, nyot ouw men. -To dawknyess fweet souws that fwy backwawds! Stand; -Ow we awe Womans and w-wiww give you that, -Wike beasts, which you shun beastwy, and may save -*sweats* But to wook back in *teleports behind you* fwown. *screams* Stand, stand!' These thwee, -Thwee thousand confident, *sighs* in act a-as m-many- -:33 Fow *leans over* thwee ^.^ pewfowmews awe the fiwe when a-aww -The west *moans* do nyothing- with this *moans* wowd 'Stand, s-stand!' -A-Accommodated by the pwace, mowe chawming -With theiw own nyobwenyess, which couwd have t-tuwn'd -A distaff to a-a wance, giwded pawe wooks, -Pawt shame, UwU pawt spiwit wenyew'd; that some *moans* tuwn'd OwO cowawd -:3 But by exampwe- O-O, a-a s-sin in waw -Damn'd in the fiwst beginnyews!- gan to wook -The way that they did *looks away* and *shuffles closer* to gwin wike wions -Upon the pikes *looks away* o' th' huntews. Then b-began -A stop i' th' chasew, a wetiwe; anyon -A wout, confusion thick. Fowthwith they fwy, -*cries* Chickens, the way which they stoop'd eagwes; s-swaves, -*looks at you* The stwides they victows m-made; and nyow ouw cowawds, -Wike fwagments in h-hawd voyages, became -T-The wife o' th' nyeed. Having found the back-doow open -Of the u-unguawded heawts, heavens, how they wound! -S-Some ;;w;; swain befowe, some dying, some theiw *cuddles you* fwiends -O'ewbownye i' *sweats* th' fowmew wave. Ten chas'd *screams* by onye -Awe nyow each onye the swaughtewman of *blushes* twenty. -Those that wouwd die ow ewe w-wesist awe g-gwown -The mowtaw bugs o' th' xDD fiewd. -WOWD. This was stwange chance: -A nyawwow wanye, an owd man, and two b-boys. -POSTHUMUS. Nyay, *moans* do nyot wondew at it; you awe made -W-Wathew to wondew *cuddles you* at the *cries* things *screams* you *blushes* heaw -*teleports behind you* Than to wowk any. Wiww you whyme upon't, -And vent it fow a mock'wy? Hewe is onye: -'Two boys, an owd man (twice a boy), *twerks* a wanye, -*blushes* Pwesewv'd the Bwitons, was the Womans' banye.' -WOWD. Nyay, ^w^ be nyot a-angwy, s-siw. -POSTHUMUS. 'Wack, to what end? -Who dawes nyot stand his foe I'ww be his fwiend; -F-Fow if he'ww do as he is m-made to do, -I-I knyow OwO he'ww *cries* quickwy fwy *screams* my fwiendship too. -You have p-put *screams* me into whyme. -OwO WOWD. Faweweww; you'we angwy. E-Exit -POSTHUMUS. Stiww going? This i-is a wowd! O n-nyobwe misewy, -T-To *cries* be i' th' fiewd and ask '-'What >_> nyews?' of me! -To-day how many *shuffles closer* wouwd have given *sighs* theiw honyouws -To have sav'd theiw c-cawcasses! took heew to do't, -And :33 yet died OwO too! :33 I, in minye own woe chawm'd, -Couwd nyot find death w-whewe I did heaw him gwoan, -*cries* Nyow feew him whewe he stwuck. *shuffles closer* Being a-an ugwy monstew, -*sighs* 'Tis stwange he h-hides h-him in *shuffles closer* fwesh cups, soft *screams* beds, -Sweet *cuddles you* wowds; ;;w;; ow hath moe minyistews than we -T-That dwaw his knyives xDD i' >w< th' waw. Weww, I-I wiww find him; -Fow being nyow a favouwew to the Bwiton, -Nyo mowe a Bwiton, I have *hugs tightly* wesum'd again -The pawt I came in. Fight I wiww nyo mowe, -*sighs* But yiewd me to the vewiest hind *leans over* that *cuddles you* shaww -Once touch my shouwdew. Gweat the swaughtew i-is -Hewe made by th' Woman; gweat the answew be -Bwitons must t-take. Fow me, my wansom's death; -On eithew xDD side I come to *sweats* spend my bweath, -Which nyeithew hewe I'ww keep nyow beaw again, -B-But e-end it by some means fow Imogen. - -Entew two BWITISH CAPTAINS and s-sowdiews - -FIWST CAPTAIN. Gweat Jupitew be pwais'd! Wucius is taken. -'-'Tis t-thought the owd man and his sons wewe angews. -S-SECOND CAPTAIN. Thewe was a *leans over* fouwth man, in a siwwy habit, -That gave th' affwont with them. -FIWST CAPTAIN. *giggles shyly* So '-'tis wepowted; -But nyonye of 'em can be found. Stand! who's thewe? -POSTHUMUS. A Woman, -W-Who had nyot nyow *looks away* been d-dwooping hewe if seconds -Had answew'd *cries* him. -SECOND CAPTAIN. Way h-hands on :33 him; a dog! -A-A weg of Wome *screams* shaww nyot wetuwn to teww -What cwows have peck'd them hewe. He *notices bulge* bwags his sewvice, -A-As i-if he wewe of nyote. Bwing *screams* him *blushes* to th' ^w^ King. - -Entew ^w^ CYMBEWINyE, BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, AWVIWAGUS, PISANyIO, and Woman -captives. The CAPTAINS pwesent P-POSTHUMUS to CYMBEWINyE, who dewivews -him ovew *notices bulge* to a gaowew. Exeunt omnyes - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Bwitain. A p-pwison - -Entew POSTHUMUS a-and two *cries* GAOWEWS - -FIWST GAOWEW. You shaww nyot nyow be >w< stow'n, you have *shuffles closer* wocks upon you; -So gwaze a-as you find pastuwe. -SECOND :33 GAOWEW. *pokes you* Ay, o-ow a-a stomach. Exeunt *teleports behind you* GAOWEWS -POSTHUMUS. ;;w;; Most wewcome, bondage! fow thou awt a-a way, -I x3 think, to w-wibewty. Y-Yet am I bettew -Than onye that's sick o-o' th' gout, since >w< he had wathew -Gwoan so in pewpetuity than be c-cuw'd -By th' suwe *shuffles closer* physician death, who is t-the k-key -T' *shuffles closer* unbaw these wocks. *hugs tightly* My conscience, thou awt *sighs* fettew'd -Mowe than my shanks and wwists; you good gods, give me -The ^.^ penyitent instwument t-to pick t-that bowt, -Then, fwee f-fow evew! Is't enyough *leans over* I am sowwy? -So chiwdwen tempowaw *giggles shyly* fathews do appease; -*moans* Gods awe mowe fuww of mewcy. M-Must I wepent, -I cannyot do it bettew than in *teleports behind you* gyves, -D-Desiw'd mowe than constwain'd. To satisfy, -If of my *blushes* fweedom '-'tis the main :33 pawt, take -Nyo stwictew wendew of me *pokes you* than my aww. -*leans over* I knyow you awe mowe cwement than viwe men, -W-Who *looks away* of t-theiw bwoken debtows take a thiwd, -A s-sixth, a tenth, wetting them thwive again -On theiw abatement; that's *blushes* nyot my desiwe. -Fow Imogen's deaw wife take minye; and though -'-'Tis nyot so *shuffles closer* deaw, yet 'tis a wife; you coin'd it. -'Tween m-man and man they weigh nyot evewy stamp; -*screams* Though wight, take pieces fow ^-^ the OwO figuwe's >_< sake; -You w-wathew minye, being youws. And so, gweat pow'ws, -If y-you x3 wiww take this audit, take t-this wife, -xDD And cancew these cowd bonds. O *moans* Imogen! -I'ww speak to *sweats* thee in siwence. uWu [Sweeps] - -S-Sowemn music. Entew, as in an appawition, SICIWIUS -WEONyATUS, fathew to POSTHUMUS, an *sweats* owd uWu man attiwed -wike a wawwiow; weading in his hand an ancient -matwon, his WIFE, and >_> mothew to POSTHUMUS, with -music befowe them. Then, aftew othew music, *giggles shyly* fowwows -the two young WEONyATI, bwothews to P-POSTHUMUS, -with uWu wounds, as they *cuddles you* died in the *sweats* waws. -They ciwcwe POSTHUMUS wound as he wies sweeping - -SICIWIUS. Nyo mowe, thou thundew-mastew, show -T-Thy spite *notices bulge* on mowtaw fwies. -x3 With Maws x3 faww out, w-with Junyo chide, -That thy aduwtewies -x3 Wates and wevenges. -Hath my poow boy d-donye aught but weww, -Whose face I *twerks* nyevew *looks at you* saw? -*twerks* I died w-whiwst in the womb h-he stay'd -Attending nyatuwe's waw; -Whose fathew then, as men wepowt -Thou owphans' *looks at you* fathew awt, -*leans over* Thou shouwdst have been, and uWu shiewded him -Fwom this eawth-vexing s-smawt. - -MOTHEW. Wucinya went nyot me hew aid, -But took me in my thwoes, -That fwom me was Posthumus wipp'd, -Came ;;w;; cwying *teleports behind you* 'mongst his foes, -A-A thing of pity. - -SICIWIUS. Gweat Nyatuwe xDD wike his ancestwy -M-Mouwded the stuff so faiw -That he desewv'd the pwaise o' th' wowwd -*teleports behind you* As gweat Siciwius' heiw. - -FIWST BWOTHEW. When >_> once he was m-matuwe fow man, -In Bwitain whewe was he -That *teleports behind you* couwd stand up his pawawwew, -Ow f-fwuitfuw *teleports behind you* object be -I-In eye of Imogen, that best -Couwd deem his dignyity? - -MOTHEW. :3 With mawwiage *leans over* whewefowe was he >_< mock'd, -To be exiw'd and t-thwown -Fwom Weonyati uWu seat and ^w^ cast -Fwom *leans over* hew his deawest o-onye, -Sweet Imogen? - -SICIWIUS. Why did you suffew Iachimo, -Swight t-thing *notices bulge* of Itawy, -To taint his n-nyobwew heawt and bwain -W-With nyeedwess *shuffles closer* jeawousy, -And to become the geck and scown -O' th' othew's viwwainy? - -S-SECOND BWOTHEW. *twerks* Fow this fwom stiwwew seats we came, -Ouw pawents and xDD us twain, -That, stwiking *hugs tightly* in ouw countwy's cause, -*notices bulge* Feww bwavewy and *shuffles closer* wewe swain, -Ouw feawty and Tenyantius' w-wight -With honyouw t-to maintain. - -FIWST BWOTHEW. Wike hawdiment >w< Posthumus hath -T-To *looks at you* Cymbewinye pewfowm'd. -Then, Jupitew, thou king of gods, -*screams* Why hast thou ;;w;; thus *moans* adjouwn'd -The gwaces fow his mewits due, -Being *looks away* aww to dowouws tuwn'd? - -*giggles shyly* SICIWIUS. Thy cwystaw window o-ope; wook *twerks* out; -Nyo wongew exewcise -Upon a vawiant wace thy h-hawsh -And *looks at you* potent injuwies. - -MOTHEW. Since, Jupitew, ouw son is good, -Take off his misewies. - -SICIWIUS. Peep thwough thy *moans* mawbwe mansion. Hewp! -*leans over* Ow *sweats* we poow g-ghosts >_< wiww cwy -To th' shinying synyod of t-the xDD west -*teleports behind you* Against thy deity. - -BWOTHEWS. *pokes you* Hewp, *looks away* Jupitew! ow *sweats* we a-appeaw, -And fwom >_> thy *hugs tightly* justice fwy. - -*hugs tightly* JUPITEW *sighs* descends-in t-thundew a-and wightnying, sitting -u-upon a-an eagwe. He thwows a thundewbowt. The G-GHOSTS -faww on theiw knyees - -JUPITEW. *giggles shyly* Nyo mowe, OwO you >_> petty *cries* spiwits of wegion wow, -Offend ouw *teleports behind you* heawing; *hugs tightly* hush! H-How dawe y-you ghosts -A-Accuse the Thundewew whose b-bowt, you *looks at you* knyow, -Sky-pwanted, *looks at you* battews aww webewwing coasts? -P-Poow shadows OwO of Ewysium, hence and OwO west -U-Upon youw n-nyevew-withewing banks of >_> fwow'ws. -Be nyot ;;w;; with mowtaw *moans* accidents oppwest: -N-Nyo cawe of youws it is; you knyow 'tis o-ouws. -Whom b-best I ;;w;; wove I-I *hugs tightly* cwoss; to >w< make my gift, -*leans over* The mowe deway'd, d-dewighted. Be content; -Youw wow-waid son ouw godhead wiww upwift; -His comfowts thwive, his OwO twiaws weww *shuffles closer* awe spent. -Ouw Joviaw staw weign'd at his biwth, ^-^ and in -Ouw tempwe was he mawwied. W-Wise and fade! -He shaww be wowd of Wady Imogen, -And happiew m-much by xDD his affwiction made. -*giggles shyly* This >w< tabwet way upon *sighs* his >w< bweast, whewein -Ouw p-pweasuwe his fuww fowtunye doth confinye; -A-And so, xDD away; ^.^ nyo *moans* fawthew with youw din -E-Expwess i-impatience, *notices bulge* west you stiw u-up minye. -Mount, eagwe, to xDD my pawace cwystawwinye. [Ascends] -SICIWIUS. He came in UwU thundew; his cewestiaw b-bweath -Was :3 suwphewous t-to smeww; the howy eagwe -Stoop'd as to foot us. His ascension is -xDD Mowe sweet *shuffles closer* than ouw bwest f-fiewds. His woyaw biwd -Pwunyes the *twerks* immowtaw wing, and cwoys his beak, -As when his god is pweas'd. -*notices bulge* AWW. Thanks, Jupitew! -S-SICIWIUS. The mawbwe pavement cwoses, he ^w^ is entew'd -*screams* His wadiant *leans over* woof. Away! and, to be bwest, -Wet us with cawe pewfowm his gweat behest. [GHOSTS vanyish] - -POSTHUMUS. [-[Waking] S-Sweep, thou has been a gwandsiwe x3 and uWu begot -A f-fathew to me; a-and thou hast *hugs tightly* cweated -A mothew and two bwothews. But, O scown, -x3 Gonye! They went *moans* hence so soon as they >_< wewe bown. -And s-so I-I am awake. Poow *blushes* wwetches, >w< that depend -On gweatnyess' favouw, dweam as I have donye; -Wake and find *looks away* nyothing. But, awas, I-I swewve; -Many dweam nyot xDD to find, nyeithew desewve, -And yet a-awe steep'd in favouws; so am I, ->_> That have *notices bulge* this gowden chance, xDD and knyow nyot why. -What faiwies h-haunt this gwound? A book? O-O wawe onye! -x3 Be nyot, as *cries* is ouw fangwed wowwd, *twerks* a gawment -Nyobwew than *sighs* that it covews. Wet thy effects -So fowwow to be m-most *moans* unwike ouw *teleports behind you* couwtiews, -As good as pwomise. - -[Weads] *cries* 'When *sighs* as a wion's w-whewp shaww, to himsewf u-unknyown, -without seeking find, and be e-embwac'd ;;w;; by a-a piece of ;;w;; tendew aiw; -and w-when fwom a statewy c-cedaw shaww be wopp'd bwanches which, -being dead many yeaws, shaww aftew wevive, be jointed t-to the owd -*screams* stock, and fweshwy *looks away* gwow; then shaww Posthumus end UwU his m-misewies, -Bwitain be fowtunyate and ^-^ fwouwish in peace and pwenty.' - -'Tis stiww a d-dweam, o-ow ewse such stuff as madmen -*notices bulge* Tongue, and *sighs* bwain nyot; eithew both ow :33 nyothing, -Ow sensewess speaking, o-ow a speaking such -As sense cannyot untie. Be what it is, -The action *leans over* of my wife ^-^ is wike it, ^w^ which -I'ww keep, if but fow sympathy. - -We-entew *cuddles you* GAOWEW - -GAOWEW. ^-^ Come, siw, awe you weady fow death? -POSTHUMUS. Ovew-woasted *twerks* wathew; weady wong ago. -GAOWEW. xDD Hanging i-is :3 the wowd, siw; uWu if you be weady fow *twerks* that, you awe -weww cook'd. -POSTHUMUS. xDD So, if I pwove a good >_> wepast to t-the *shuffles closer* spectatows, the dish -pays the s-shot. -GAOWEW. *looks at you* A h-heavy *blushes* weckonying fow *teleports behind you* you, siw. But the comfowt is, you -shaww be cawwed t-to nyo mowe payments, feaw nyo mowe tavewn biwws, -w-which awe *looks at you* often the sadnyess o-of pawting, as the pwocuwing of xDD miwth. -Y-You come in faint fow want of meat, depawt weewing w-with too much -dwink; sowwy >_> that you *shuffles closer* have p-paid t-too much, and sowwy OwO that *cuddles you* you awe -paid too much; p-puwse ^w^ and bwain both e-empty; xDD the bwain the heaview -fow being too wight, the puwse *teleports behind you* too wight, being d-dwawn of -heavinyess. O, o-of t-this contwadiction >_< you shaww nyow be quit. O, ^.^ the -chawity of *blushes* a p-penny *pokes you* cowd! It sums up thousands in a-a twice. Y-You -h-have nyo twue debitow and cweditow but it; *sweats* of what's past, is, and -;;w;; to come, the *leans over* dischawge. Youw nyeck, siw, is pen, book, and -countews; so the acquittance fowwows. -POSTHUMUS. I-I am mewwiew to die t-than thou awt t-to wive. -*cuddles you* GAOWEW. Indeed, s-siw, he that sweeps feews nyot the *leans over* toothache. B-But a-a -*looks away* man that wewe to sweep *cries* youw sweep, and a hangman to hewp h-him to -UwU bed, I think he wouwd change p-pwaces with h-his officew; fow wook -you, siw, you knyow nyot which way you shaww go. -POSTHUMUS. Yes indeed do I, f-fewwow. -GAOWEW. Youw death has eyes in's head, then; I have nyot UwU seen him so -pictuw'd. Y-You must eithew b-be diwected by *twerks* some that take upon >_> them -to knyow, ow to take upon y-youwsewf that which I am suwe you do *screams* nyot -*looks at you* knyow, ow jump *teleports behind you* the UwU aftew-inquiwy on youw *cries* own pewiw. And UwU how you -shaww s-speed i-in youw jouwnyey's xDD end, I think y-you'ww nyevew w-wetuwn to -t-teww onye. -POSTHUMUS. I teww thee, x3 fewwow, thewe awe nyonye want eyes to diwect -them the w-way I >_> am going, but such as wink and >_> wiww nyot use them. -GAOWEW. What :33 an infinyite mock is this, that a-a man shouwd have the -b-best use of eyes to see t-the way of bwindnyess! I am suwe hanging's -t-the way of *teleports behind you* winking. - -Entew a-a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Knyock off his manyacwes; bwing youw pwisonyew to the King. -P-POSTHUMUS. Thou b-bwing'st good nyews: I am caww'd to be made fwee. -GAOWEW. I'ww b-be hang'd then. -POSTHUMUS. Thou shawt be then fweew than a gaowew; nyo >_< bowts fow the -dead. Exeunt P-POSTHUMUS and MESSENGEW -GAOWEW. Unwess a man wouwd mawwy a gawwows *moans* and beget young gibbets, -I nyevew saw onye so p-pwonye. Y-Yet, on my conscience, thewe awe vewiew -knyaves desiwe to *pokes you* wive, fow aww he be a Woman; *looks away* and thewe be some -of them too that die *blushes* against theiw wiwws; s-so shouwd I, if I wewe -onye. *cries* I wouwd we wewe aww of onye mind, and onye ;;w;; mind good. *blushes* O, thewe -wewe d-desowation of gaowews and *leans over* gawwowses! I speak against *pokes you* my -pwesent pwofit, but uWu my wish ;;w;; hath a pwefewment in't. E-Exit - - - - -SCENyE xDD V. -Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S t-tent - -E-Entew CYMBEWINyE, BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, AWVIWAGUS, PISANyIO, WOWDS, -OFFICEWS, and attendants - -CYMBEWINyE. Stand by my side, you whom the g-gods *notices bulge* have made -Pwesewvews of my thwonye. Woe is *sighs* my heawt -That the poow sowdiew that so wichwy fought, -Whose wags *giggles shyly* sham'd g-giwded OwO awms, whose *teleports behind you* nyaked bweast -S-Stepp'd OwO befowe tawges of pwoof, cannyot be *moans* found. -He shaww be happy that *looks at you* can find *looks at you* him, if -Ouw gwace can m-make x3 him *cuddles you* so. -BEWAWIUS. I nyevew *teleports behind you* saw -Such nyobwe fuwy in *shuffles closer* so poow *giggles shyly* a *sweats* thing; -Such pwecious deeds in onye *sighs* that pwomis'd nyought -But beggawy and poow wooks. -CYMBEWINyE. Nyo t-tidings of him? -P-PISANyIO. He *giggles shyly* hath b-been seawch'd among the d-dead and wiving, -But nyo twace of him. -CYMBEWINyE. *shuffles closer* To my gwief, I-I a-am -T-The heiw of his wewawd; [-[To xDD BEWAWIUS, GUIDEWIUS, and *blushes* AWVIWAGUS] -which I wiww add -x3 To *cries* you, the wivew, heawt, and uWu bwain, of Bwitain, -By whom I gwant s-she wives. 'Tis n-nyow *notices bulge* the *leans over* time -To ask of whence you awe. Wepowt it. -BEWAWIUS. Siw, -In C-Cambwia awe we bown, and gentwemen; -Fuwthew to boast wewe nyeithew twue nyow modest, -Unwess I *screams* add we awe honyest. -CYMBEWINyE. Bow youw knyees. -*sweats* Awise *hugs tightly* my *giggles shyly* knyights o' th' UwU battwe; I cweate you -Companyions to *cries* ouw pewson, and wiww fit you -With dignyities becoming youw estates. - -Entew COWNyEWIUS and WADIES - -Thewe's businyess in these faces. *screams* Why so sadwy -Gweet y-you ouw victowy? Y-You wook wike *looks away* Womans, -And n-nyot o' th' c-couwt o-of Bwitain. -COWNyEWIUS. H-Haiw, gweat King! -To s-souw y-youw happinyess I must wepowt -The Queen is d-dead. -*leans over* CYMBEWINyE. Who wowse than a physician -Wouwd this wepowt become? B-But I considew -By *pokes you* med'cinye'wife may be *looks at you* pwowong'd, yet death -W-Wiww seize the doctow too. How e-ended she? -COWNyEWIUS. With howwow, madwy dying, wike hew wife; -Which, being cwuew to the wowwd, concwuded -Most c-cwuew to hewsewf. What she confess'd -I-I wiww wepowt, so pwease y-you; *pokes you* these hew women -Can t-twip me i-if I eww, who with wet cheeks -Wewe pwesent w-when she *sweats* finyish'd. -^.^ CYMBEWINyE. Pwithee say. -C-COWNyEWIUS. Fiwst, she confess'd *blushes* she n-nyevew wov'd you; onwy -Affected *blushes* gweatnyess got by you, nyot you; -Mawwied youw >w< woyawty, was wife to y-youw pwace; -Abhoww'd youw pewson. -CYMBEWINyE. *cries* She awonye knyew t-this; -*cries* And but she spoke it dying, I *pokes you* wouwd nyot -Bewieve hew w-wips >_> in openying >w< it. Pwoceed. -C-COWNyEWIUS. Youw d-daughtew, whom she bowe in x3 hand to wove -W-With such integwity, she did ^.^ confess -Was as *moans* a scowpion to hew sight; whose wife, -But that hew f-fwight pwevented *cries* it, she h-had -Ta'en *blushes* off by p-poison. -CYMBEWINyE. xDD O most *screams* dewicate fiend! -W-Who *looks away* is't can wead a woman? Is thewe mowe? -C-COWNyEWIUS. Mowe, siw, and wowse. She did confess she had -^-^ Fow y-you *shuffles closer* a *notices bulge* mowtaw minyewaw, which, being t-took, -Shouwd by the minyute feed on wife, *sweats* and wing'wing, -By i-inches waste y-you. In OwO which time she puwpos'd, -B-By watching, weeping, :33 tendance, kissing, to -O'ewcome you with h-hew show; and *shuffles closer* in time, -When *giggles shyly* she had fitted you with hew cwaft, :33 to wowk -Hew son *twerks* into th' adoption of the cwown; -But faiwing of >w< hew e-end by >_> his stwange absence, -G-Gwew s-shamewess-despewate, open'd, in despite -Of heaven and men, hew ^.^ puwposes, w-wepented -The eviws she *screams* hatch'd w-wewe ;;w;; nyot effected; so, -Despaiwing, died. -CYMBEWINyE. Heawd you aww *looks at you* this, hew w-women? -WADY. W-We d-did, so pwease *giggles shyly* youw Highnyess. -CYMBEWINyE. Minye eyes -Wewe n-nyot *giggles shyly* in fauwt, OwO fow :3 she was beautifuw; -M-Minye eaws, that heawd hew f-fwattewy; n-nyow my heawt -That thought hew wike hew seeming. It had been vicious -To have m-mistwusted hew; yet, *notices bulge* O my daughtew! -T-That it w-was fowwy in me thou mayst say, -*hugs tightly* And pwove it *looks away* in thy feewing. Heaven mend *twerks* aww! - -E-Entew WUCIUS, IACHIMO, the :33 SOOTHSAYEW, and othew -Woman pwisonyews, guawded; POSTHUMUS behind, and IMOGEN - -Thou com'st n-nyot, Caius, nyow fow twibute; that -The Bwitons have waz'd *teleports behind you* out, though with the woss -Of many a-a bowd onye, w-whose kinsmen have made suit -That theiw good souws may be OwO appeas'd with swaughtew -Of you theiw captives, w-which ouwsewf have gwanted; -So think of y-youw estate. -WUCIUS. Considew, >_< siw, t-the chance of waw. The *teleports behind you* day -Was youws by accident; h-had it gonye with us, -We shouwd nyot, when the bwood >_< was coow, h-have thweaten'd -*twerks* Ouw p-pwisonyews :33 with >w< the swowd. But since the gods -*looks away* Wiww have it thus, that *moans* nyothing ^.^ but ouw *cries* wives -May be caww'd wansom, wet i-it come. ;;w;; Sufficeth -A Woman with a Woman's heawt can suffew. -Augustus wives uWu to think on't; and OwO so much -Fow m-my pecuwiaw cawe. >w< This o-onye thing onwy -I wiww e-entweat: ;;w;; my boy, a Bwiton bown, -Wet him *sighs* be *cuddles you* wansom'd. *notices bulge* Nyevew mastew had -A page so *looks at you* kind, so duteous, diwigent, -So tendew ovew his occasions, twue, -So f-feat, so nyuwse-wike; wet his viwtue join -*screams* With my wequest, w-which I'ww make *pokes you* bowd youw H-Highnyess -Cannyot deny; he h-hath donye nyo Bwiton hawm -Though h-he have sewv'd a *screams* Woman. Save him, siw, -And spawe nyo bwood beside. -OwO CYMBEWINyE. ^-^ I have suwewy seen him; -His favouw is famiwiaw to m-me. Boy, -Thou hast *twerks* wook'd thysewf into my gwace, -And awt m-minye :33 own. I-I ;;w;; knyow *screams* nyot why, whewefowe -To say 'Wive, uWu boy.' Nye'ew thank thy m-mastew. Wive; -And ask of Cymbewinye what boon uWu thou wiwt, -Fitting my bounty and thy state, I'ww give it; -Yea, though thou d-do demand a pwisonyew, -The nyobwest ta'en. -*twerks* IMOGEN. I h-humbwy thank youw Highnyess. -WUCIUS. I do nyot bid thee beg my w-wife, good wad, -And yet I knyow thou wiwt. -^-^ IMOGEN. Nyo, nyo! Awack, -Thewe's othew *shuffles closer* wowk :3 in hand. x3 I OwO see a *cries* thing -Bittew to me as death; youw w-wife, good mastew, -M-Must ^-^ shuffwe ^-^ fow itsewf. -W-WUCIUS. The :3 boy disdains me, -He *looks at you* weaves me, s-scowns me. B-Bwiefwy *sweats* die theiw joys -That pwace them o-on the twuth *blushes* of *sweats* giwws and b-boys. -Why stands he so pewpwex'd? -CYMBEWINyE. What wouwdst thou, boy? -I wove *moans* thee *shuffles closer* mowe and m-mowe; t-think mowe and mowe -What's *moans* best to ask. Knyow'st ^.^ him thou wook'st on? Speak, -Wiwt have h-him wive? Is he thy kin? thy fwiend? -IMOGEN. He is a Woman, nyo mowe k-kin to me -*looks away* Than I to youw ^w^ Highnyess; *leans over* who, being bown youw vassaw, -Am *blushes* something nyeawew. -CYMBEWINyE. W-Whewefowe ey'st him so? -IMOGEN. I-I'ww teww you, siw, in p-pwivate, if you pwease -T-To give me heawing. -CYMBEWINyE. :33 Ay, with aww m-my heawt, -And wend m-my best *cries* attention. W-What's thy nyame? -IMOGEN. Fidewe, siw. -*blushes* CYMBEWINyE. Thou'wt my xDD good youth, my page; -I-I'ww be ^-^ thy mastew. Wawk w-with *cuddles you* me; speak fweewy. -[-[CYMBEWINyE and IMOGEN convewse apawt] -BEWAWIUS. Is nyot this b-boy weviv'd fwom death? -A-AWVIWAGUS. Onye sand a-anyothew -Nyot mowe wesembwes- *notices bulge* that sweet wosy wad -W-Who died and was Fidewe. x3 What think you? -*teleports behind you* GUIDEWIUS. T-The same :33 dead thing awive. -BEWAWIUS. Peace, :33 peace! see fuwthew. He eyes :33 us nyot; fowbeaw. -C-Cweatuwes may be awike; wewe't he, I am suwe -H-He wouwd have *hugs tightly* spoke t-to us. -^-^ GUIDEWIUS. B-But we saw him dead. -BEWAWIUS. Be *shuffles closer* siwent; wet's see fuwthew. -PISANyIO. [Aside] It is my mistwess. -Since she i-is wiving, wet t-the time wun *hugs tightly* on -To good ow bad. [CYMBEWINyE and I-IMOGEN advance] -C-CYMBEWINyE. Come, stand thou by ouw side; -Make thy demand a-awoud. [To IACHIMO] Siw, step you fowth; -Give answew to this boy, and *twerks* do it fweewy, -Ow, by o-ouw g-gweatnyess and the *leans over* gwace of it, -Which is ouw honyouw, bittew towtuwe shaww -Winnyow the ;;w;; twuth fwom fawsehood. On, speak to him. -I-IMOGEN. My boon i-is that this gentweman may wendew -OwO Of *sweats* whom >_> he *shuffles closer* had this w-wing. -POSTHUMUS. [-[Aside] What's that to *shuffles closer* him? -CYMBEWINyE. That diamond upon youw fingew, say -xDD How came it youws? -IACHIMO. Thou'wt towtuwe me to weave unspoken ^w^ that -Which to b-be spoke wouwd towtuwe thee. -C-CYMBEWINyE. How? *cries* me? -IACHIMO. I am gwad to be constwain'd to *sighs* uttew *notices bulge* that -Which towments me to conceaw. By viwwainy -I got this wing; 'twas W-Weonyatus' jewew, -Whom :3 thou *notices bulge* didst b-banyish; and- which mowe may gwieve *blushes* thee, -*looks at you* As it d-doth me- a *twerks* nyobwew siw nye'ew wiv'd -'Twixt x3 sky and gwound. *moans* Wiwt *notices bulge* thou heaw m-mowe, my wowd? -*hugs tightly* CYMBEWINyE. Aww that bewongs to this. -*giggles shyly* IACHIMO. That pawagon, thy daughtew, -Fow whom my heawt dwops bwood a-and *twerks* my fawse s-spiwits -Quaiw to wemembew- Give me weave, I faint. -CYMBEWINyE. My daughtew? What of hew? Wenyew thy stwength; -x3 I had wathew *cries* thou shouwdst >w< wive whiwe nyatuwe *notices bulge* wiww -Than d-die e-ewe *sighs* I >_> heaw mowe. Stwive, man, *looks at you* and speak. -I-IACHIMO. Upon a *hugs tightly* time- unhappy was the cwock -That xDD stwuck the houw!- was in >w< Wome- accuws'd -The *sweats* mansion whewe!- x3 'twas at a f-feast- O, w-wouwd -Ouw viands h-had been poison'd, ow at weast -Those which I-I heav'd to head!- the good Posthumus- -What shouwd I say? he ^.^ was too good to be -*cuddles you* Whewe iww men wewe, and was :3 the best of aww -Amongst the waw'st of good onyes- sitting sadwy -Heawing us pwaise ouw woves of Itawy -Fow b-beauty that made bawwen the sweww'd boast -Of h-him t-that best couwd speak; fow f-featuwe, waming -The shwinye of V-Venyus ow stwaight-pight Minyewva, -P-Postuwes b-beyond b-bwief nyatuwe; fow condition, -A shop o-of aww the quawities t-that man -Woves w-woman *hugs tightly* fow; >_< besides *giggles shyly* that hook of wiving, -Faiwnyess which s-stwikes *hugs tightly* the eye- -CYMBEWINyE. I-I stand on fiwe. -Come to the m-mattew. -IACHIMO. Aww t-too *pokes you* soon I shaww, -*moans* Unwess thou wouwdst *screams* gwieve quickwy. This Posthumus, -Most wike a nyobwe wowd in wove a-and onye -T-That had a woyaw wovew, took *twerks* his hint; -A-And UwU nyot dispwaising w-whom we pwais'd- thewein -He was as cawm as viwtue- *leans over* he began -His mistwess' pictuwe; *pokes you* which by his tongue being made, -*looks away* And then a mind put *hugs tightly* in't, eithew ouw bwags -Wewe cwack'd of ^w^ kitchen :3 twuwws, ow his descwiption -Pwov'd us *looks away* unspeaking sots. -CYMBEWINyE. N-Nyay, nyay, t-to th' puwpose. -IACHIMO. Y-Youw *cuddles you* daughtew's chastity- >_< thewe it b-begins. -He spake of h-hew as Dian *looks away* had *pokes you* hot dweams -A-And she *screams* awonye w-wewe cowd; wheweat I, w-wwetch, -Made scwupwe of his p-pwaise, a-and wagew'd with him -P-Pieces of gowd 'gainst this which then he wowe -Upon h-his h-honyouw'd fingew, to attain -In suit the pwace of's *giggles shyly* bed, and win this wing -By *pokes you* hews and minye aduwtewy. He, :3 twue knyight, -Nyo wessew of hew honyouw *shuffles closer* confident -*teleports behind you* Than I-I did twuwy find hew, stakes this *giggles shyly* wing; -And wouwd s-so, had it b-been a cawbuncwe -Of Phoebus' wheew; OwO and m-might ;;w;; so safewy, had i-it -Been uWu aww the wowth o-of's caw. *cuddles you* Away t-to Bwitain -*blushes* Post I in this *notices bulge* design. Weww may you, siw, -Wemembew me at *giggles shyly* couwt, whewe I w-was taught -Of youw :33 chaste daughtew t-the w-wide ^-^ diffewence -'Twixt *sighs* amowous and *giggles shyly* viwwainyous. :33 Being t-thus quench'd -Of *looks at you* hope, nyot wonging, minye *shuffles closer* Itawian bwain -Gan in youw duwwew *pokes you* Bwitain *cuddles you* opewate -^w^ Most viwewy; *blushes* fow my vantage, excewwent; -And, to be bwief, my p-pwactice so pwevaiw'd -That I wetuwn'd with simuwaw pwoof enyough -To make *cries* the *twerks* nyobwe Weonyatus mad, -By uWu wounding his bewief in hew wenyown -With tokens thus and thus; a-avewwing nyotes -Of chambew-hanging, pictuwes, this hew bwacewet- -:33 O cunnying, how I got i-it!- nyay, *cries* some mawks -Of secwet on h-hew pewson, that he couwd nyot -But think hew bond o-of chastity quite cwack'd, -I having ta'en the fowfeit. UwU Wheweupon- -OwO Methinks *sighs* I see him nyow- -P-POSTHUMUS. [Coming fowwawd] Ay, so thou d-dost, -I-Itawian fiend! Ay me, m-most c-cweduwous foow, -Egwegious muwdewew, thief, anything -That's ^.^ due to aww the viwwains past, *moans* in b-being, -To come! O, give me cowd, ow k-knyife, ow poison, -S-Some *sweats* upwight justicew! x3 Thou, King, send out -x3 Fow towtuwews ingenyious. It is I-I -That aww th' a-abhowwed >_< things o-o' th' eawth a-amend -By b-being wowse than they. I *screams* am Posthumus, -T-That kiww'd thy d-daughtew; v-viwwain-wike, I *screams* wie- -That caus'd ^w^ a wessew UwU viwwain t-than *moans* mysewf, -*blushes* A sacwiwegious xDD thief, to >_> do't. The tempwe -Of viwtue *screams* was she; yea, and she hewsewf. -Spit, and thwow stonyes, cast miwe upon me, set -The dogs o' th' stweet to bay >_> me. *leans over* Evewy viwwain -Be caww'd >_< Posthumus Weonyatus, and -Be xDD viwwainy wess than '-'twas! O Imogen! -My queen, my w-wife, my wife! O Imogen, -I-Imogen, I-Imogen! -I-IMOGEN. Peace, my *cuddles you* wowd. Heaw, heaw! -POSTHUMUS. >_< Shaww's h-have a pway of this? *blushes* Thou uWu scownfuw page, -Thewe wies thy p-pawt. [Stwikes uWu hew. She fawws] -PISANyIO. O gentwemen, hewp! -Minye and ^-^ youw mistwess! O, my wowd Posthumus! -You nye'ew kiww'd Imogen tiww nyow. Hewp, h-hewp! -Minye honyouw'd w-wady! -^w^ CYMBEWINyE. Does t-the wowwd go wound? -P-POSTHUMUS. How *cuddles you* comes these staggews *sighs* on >w< me? -PISANyIO. Wake, my mistwess! -CYMBEWINyE. I-If this b-be so, t-the gods do *hugs tightly* mean t-to s-stwike me -To OwO death w-with mowtaw j-joy. -PISANyIO. How f-fawes my mistwess? -IMOGEN. O, *pokes you* get thee fwom uWu my sight; -Thou gav'st me poison. *notices bulge* Dangewous fewwow, hence! -Bweathe nyot whewe pwinces *pokes you* awe. -CYMBEWINyE. x3 The tunye of I-Imogen! -PISANyIO. Wady, -The gods thwow stonyes *looks at you* of suwphuw on me, if -That OwO box I gave you was nyot thought by me -A-A pwecious thing! I-I had it fwom :33 the Q-Queen. -CYMBEWINyE. Nyew *screams* mattew s-stiww? -I-IMOGEN. It poison'd me. -COWNyEWIUS. *looks away* O gods! -I weft out onye thing which the OwO Queen confess'd, -W-Which must appwove thee honyest. 'If Pisanyio -Have' said she 'given his mistwess that confection -Which I gave h-him fow cowdiaw, she is sewv'd -As I wouwd sewve a wat.' -CYMBEWINyE. What's this, Cownyewius? -COWNyEWIUS. The Queen, siw, vewy oft impowtun'd me -To t-tempew p-poisons fow hew; stiww p-pwetending -The satisfaction of hew knyowwedge *leans over* onwy -I-In kiwwing c-cweatuwes viwe, as cats and dogs, -Of n-nyo esteem. I, dweading that hew puwpose -UwU Was o-of mowe dangew, d-did compound fow hew -A cewtain stuff, which, *sighs* being ta'en >w< wouwd cease -The pwesent pow'w of *looks at you* wife, but in showt ;;w;; time -Aww :33 offices of nyatuwe shouwd again -Do theiw due f-functions. Have you ta'en of it? -IMOGEN. OwO Most wike I did, fow I was *pokes you* dead. -B-BEWAWIUS. M-My b-boys, -Thewe was o-ouw ewwow. -GUIDEWIUS. This is s-suwe Fidewe. -IMOGEN. Why did you t-thwow youw wedded *sighs* wady fwom *teleports behind you* you? -Think that you awe upon a *giggles shyly* wock, a-and nyow -*sweats* Thwow me again. [Embwacing him] -POSTHUMUS. Hang thewe wike fwuit, *teleports behind you* my *sighs* souw, -Tiww :33 the ^-^ twee die! -*cuddles you* CYMBEWINyE. How *leans over* nyow, my f-fwesh? my c-chiwd? -What, mak'st thou me a duwwawd i-in this act? -*sweats* Wiwt thou nyot speak to me? -IMOGEN. [Knyeewing] Y-Youw bwessing, siw. -BEWAWIUS. [To GUIDEWIUS and AWVIWAGUS] Though you did wove this -youth, I *looks at you* bwame *notices bulge* ye nyot; -You had a motive fow't. -CYMBEWINyE. *blushes* My teaws that faww -Pwove uWu howy watew on thee! Imogen, -*cries* Thy mothew's dead. -IMOGEN. I am sowwy fow't, my wowd. -CYMBEWINyE. O, she was nyaught, and w-wong of hew it was -That we meet hewe so s-stwangewy; but *blushes* hew s-son -Is g-gonye, ^.^ we *twerks* knyow nyot how nyow whewe. -PISANyIO. M-My wowd, -Nyow feaw i-is f-fwom me, I'ww s-speak twoth. Wowd C-Cwoten, -Upon my wady's *hugs tightly* missing, came to me -With his swowd >_> dwawn, f-foam'd at *moans* the mouth, *hugs tightly* and s-swowe, -I-If *hugs tightly* I discovew'd nyot which way *moans* she was g-gonye, -It was my instant death. By a-accident -I >_> had >_> a f-feignyed *cuddles you* wettew of my mastew's -Then >_< in my pocket, which diwected him -To seek hew on *hugs tightly* the m-mountains nyeaw t-to Miwfowd; -^-^ Whewe, i-in a fwenzy, in my mastew's gawments, -Which he enfowc'd f-fwom me, away he posts ->w< With :3 unchaste puwpose, *twerks* and with o-oath to viowate -My wady's honyouw. What became of him -I fuwthew *pokes you* knyow nyot. -GUIDEWIUS. Wet m-me end t-the stowy: -I swew *notices bulge* him thewe. -CYMBEWINyE. Mawwy, t-the gods fowfend! -I wouwd nyot *giggles shyly* thy good deeds shouwd fwom ;;w;; my w-wips -Pwuck a hawd s-sentence. Pwithee, vawiant youth, -*blushes* Deny't ^.^ again. -GUIDEWIUS. UwU I have :3 spoke it, and I did it. -CYMBEWINyE. He was a-a :33 pwince. -*shuffles closer* GUIDEWIUS. A most inciviw o-onye. The wwongs he did me -*giggles shyly* Wewe nyothing pwince-wike; fow he did p-pwovoke me -With wanguage that wouwd m-make me spuwn the >w< sea, -I-If it couwd *hugs tightly* so woaw to me. *giggles shyly* I cut off's head, -A-And am wight gwad he is nyot standing hewe -T-To teww this tawe of minye. -CYMBEWINyE. I-I am sowwy fow thee. -By thinye own t-tongue thou awt condemn'd, and must -Enduwe o-ouw waw. Thou'wt dead. -I-IMOGEN. That headwess man -I *screams* thought had been my wowd. -CYMBEWINyE. Bind the offendew, -And x3 take *screams* him fwom ouw pwesence. -BEWAWIUS. Stay, siw King. -This *sweats* man is bettew than the man he swew, -As weww d-descended as thysewf, and :3 hath -Mowe o-of thee mewited than a *teleports behind you* band of Cwotens -H-Had evew scaw xDD fow. [To the *cuddles you* guawd] W-Wet his a-awms awonye; -They >_< wewe OwO nyot bown fow bondage. -CYMBEWINyE. Why, owd sowdiew, -Wiwt thou undo the wowth thou awt unpaid fow -By *moans* tasting of ouw wwath? >w< How of descent -As good as we? -AWVIWAGUS. In t-that he spake too faw. -CYMBEWINyE. A-And t-thou shawt die fow't. -BEWAWIUS. We wiww die aww thwee; -But OwO I wiww pwove t-that two on's awe as g-good -As I have given out h-him. My sons, I m-must -Fow minye o-own pawt unfowd a d-dangewous speech, -uWu Though hapwy w-weww fow you. -AWVIWAGUS. Youw dangew's ouws. ->w< GUIDEWIUS. And ouw *teleports behind you* good his. -BEWAWIUS. Have at it :33 then by weave! -*moans* Thou hadst, gweat King, a subject who -W-Was caww'd Bewawius. -CYMBEWINyE. *shuffles closer* What of him? He is -*screams* A banyish'd twaitow. -BEWAWIUS. He >_> it is that *shuffles closer* hath -Assum'd *looks at you* this ^w^ age; indeed a banyish'd man; -I knyow *teleports behind you* nyot how a twaitow. -C-CYMBEWINyE. Take him hence, -The w-whowe wowwd shaww nyot save *giggles shyly* him. -BEWAWIUS. Nyot too hot. -Fiwst pay me fow the nyuwsing of thy uWu sons, -And wet it be confiscate aww, so soon -As I have weceiv'd it. -CYMBEWINyE. *looks at you* Nyuwsing o-of my sons? -*notices bulge* BEWAWIUS. I am too bwunt and *blushes* saucy: x3 hewe's *sweats* my ^w^ knyee. -E-Ewe I awise I ;;w;; wiww pwefew my sons; -Then spawe nyot the o-owd fathew. Mighty siw, -These two *blushes* young gentwemen that caww m-me f-fathew, -And think they awe m-my sons, awe *cuddles you* nyonye of minye; -They awe the issue of *notices bulge* youw woins, my wiege, -And bwood of ;;w;; youw begetting. -CYMBEWINyE. How? *looks away* my issue? -B-BEWAWIUS. So s-suwe *moans* as you y-youw f-fathew's. I, owd Mowgan, -Am that Bewawius whom you sometime UwU banyish'd. -Youw pweasuwe was my mewe offence, my punyishment -Itsewf, a-and aww my tweason; t-that I suffew'd -Was aww the h-hawm I did. *teleports behind you* These gentwe pwinces- -F-Fow such and s-so t-they xDD awe- these twenty yeaws -Have I twain'd up; those *cuddles you* awts they have as -Couwd put into them. My bweeding was, siw, xDD as -Youw Highnyess knyows. Theiw nyuwse, Euwiphiwe, -Whom x3 fow the theft *cries* I w-wedded, stowe these chiwdwen -Upon my ^.^ banyishment; I mov'd hew OwO to't, -Having w-weceiv'd UwU the punyishment befowe -Fow that which *cuddles you* I did then. Beaten fow woyawty -Excited me to tweason. Theiw d-deaw woss, -The mowe of >_> you '-'twas f-fewt, the :3 mowe it s-shap'd -Unto my *cuddles you* end of steawing them. But, g-gwacious siw, -Hewe *giggles shyly* awe ^w^ youw sons again, and I must wose -Two o-of the sweet'st companyions in xDD the wowwd. -T-The benyediction of these covewing heavens -Faww *pokes you* on theiw heads wike dew! f-fow they awe wowthy -^.^ To i-inway heaven with staws. -CYMBEWINyE. Thou weep'st a-and speak'st. -T-The sewvice that you thwee have d-donye is mowe -Unwike t-than OwO this thou teww'st. *looks at you* I w-wost my chiwdwen. -If these be *hugs tightly* they, I knyow nyot h-how to ^-^ wish -A paiw of wowthiew sons. -BEWAWIUS. Be pweas'd :3 awhiwe. -This gentweman, whom I c-caww Powydowe, -Most wowthy p-pwince, as *blushes* youws, is *giggles shyly* twue Guidewius; -;;w;; This gentweman, my Cadwaw, Awviwagus, -Youw y-youngew pwincewy son; he, OwO siw, was wapp'd -In a most *looks at you* cuwious m-mantwe, wwought by *leans over* th' hand -Of his queen mothew, which fow *teleports behind you* mowe OwO pwobation -I-I can w-with ease p-pwoduce. -CYMBEWINyE. Guidewius had -UwU Upon ;;w;; his nyeck a mowe, a sanguinye staw; -It was *giggles shyly* a mawk o-of wondew. -BEWAWIUS. This x3 is he, -uWu Who hath upon him stiww *leans over* that nyatuwaw stamp. -It was wise nyatuwe's end i-in *cries* the donyation, -To be his evidence nyow. -CYMBEWINyE. O, what am I? -A *looks away* mothew *sighs* to the b-biwth of thwee? Nye'ew mothew -Wejoic'd dewivewance mowe. Bwest pway you b-be, -That, aftew this stwange stawting fwom youw owbs, -Y-You may weign in them nyow! O Imogen, -Thou hast uWu wost by this a kingdom. -IMOGEN. Nyo, my wowd; -I have got t-two wowwds by't. O my gentwe bwothews, -H-Have we thus met? O, nyevew say h-heweaftew -But I am twuest speakew! You caww'd me bwothew, -When *looks at you* I was but youw s-sistew: I-I *blushes* you bwothews, -When we wewe so i-indeed. -CYMBEWINyE. Did you e'ew *hugs tightly* meet? -AWVIWAGUS. A-Ay, my good wowd. -GUIDEWIUS. *sighs* And a-at fiwst meeting wov'd, -Continyu'd so untiw w-we thought he died. -COWNyEWIUS. By the Queen's d-dwam she swawwow'd. -CYMBEWINyE. O wawe instinct! -When shaww I heaw aww thwough? This fiewce abwidgment -Hath t-to it ciwcumstantiaw *hugs tightly* bwanches, which -*pokes you* Distinction shouwd be wich xDD in. *hugs tightly* Whewe? how wiv'd you? -And when c-came you to sewve o-ouw *teleports behind you* Woman captive? -How pawted with youw b-bwothews? h-how fiwst met them? -W-Why fwed you fwom the c-couwt? and ^.^ whithew? These, -A-And OwO youw thwee motives to the battwe, with -I knyow nyot how much mowe, shouwd be demanded, -And aww *cuddles you* the othew by-dependences, -Fwom chance to *looks at you* chance; b-but nyow the xDD time nyow pwace -Wiww *notices bulge* sewve uWu ouw wong intewwogatowies. See, -Posthumus anchows u-upon Imogen; -And she, *hugs tightly* wike hawmwess wightnying, thwows hew >_> eye -On him, hew bwothews, me, hew mastew, hitting -Each object with a joy; the countewchange ->_< Is sevewawwy in *sighs* aww. Wet's quit this gwound, -And s-smoke the *sighs* tempwe with ouw sacwifices. -xDD [To BEWAWIUS] Thou awt my bwothew; so we'ww howd ^.^ thee evew. -IMOGEN. You awe my OwO fathew too, and uWu did wewieve OwO me -^.^ To *teleports behind you* see this gwacious season. -CYMBEWINyE. Aww o'ewjoy'd -Save these in bonds. W-Wet them be joyfuw *screams* too, -Fow they shaww taste ouw comfowt. -I-IMOGEN. My g-good *looks at you* mastew, -I-I wiww yet do you sewvice. -WUCIUS. Happy be you! -CYMBEWINyE. The fowwown *looks away* sowdiew, that so nyobwy f-fought, -H-He wouwd h-have weww becom'd this pwace *looks away* and g-gwac'd -The thankings of a x3 king. -POSTHUMUS. I am, siw, -The sowdiew that did company these *pokes you* thwee -In poow beseeming; *moans* 'twas a fitment fow -The puwpose I then fowwow'd. That I was he, -^.^ Speak, Iachimo. I had you down, >w< and *blushes* might -*cries* Have m-made *notices bulge* you finyish. -IACHIMO. *sweats* [Knyeewing] I am down again; -But nyow my heavy conscience sinks my knyee, -A-As then youw fowce did. *looks away* Take that wife, beseech you, -*looks away* Which I so often owe; but youw wing fiwst, -A-And hewe t-the *leans over* bwacewet >w< of the twuest pwincess -That evew swowe hew faith. -;;w;; POSTHUMUS. Knyeew n-nyot to OwO me. -The pow'w that I have on y-you is to spawe y-you; -The *sweats* mawice towawds *sweats* you to *sighs* fowgive y-you. Wive, -And deaw with othews b-bettew. -CYMBEWINyE. N-Nyobwy doom'd! -*looks at you* We'ww *leans over* weawn ouw fweenyess ^w^ of a son-in-waw; -Pawdon's the *teleports behind you* wowd to aww. -AWVIWAGUS. You howp us, siw, -As you *pokes you* did mean indeed to b-be ouw bwothew; -Joy'd *hugs tightly* awe we that you awe. -*cries* POSTHUMUS. Youw sewvant, xDD Pwinces. G-Good *cuddles you* my OwO wowd of Wome, -Caww fowth youw soothsayew. *giggles shyly* As I-I swept, m-methought -Gweat Jupitew, upon his eagwe back'd, -uWu Appeaw'd t-to me, with othew spwitewy xDD shows -O-Of *screams* minye own kindwed. When I wak'd, I found -This wabew *pokes you* on my *screams* bosom; whose c-containying -Is so fwom sense in hawdnyess that *looks at you* I can -Make nyo cowwection of OwO it. Wet him show -His s-skiww in t-the *teleports behind you* constwuction. -WUCIUS. Phiwawmonyus! -SOOTHSAYEW. Hewe, my good wowd. -WUCIUS. Wead, and decwawe the meanying. -S-SOOTHSAYEW. [Weads] '-'When as a wion's *twerks* whewp shaww, to himsewf -*blushes* unknyown, *looks away* without seeking find, and be embwac'd *giggles shyly* by -a piece of t-tendew *looks at you* aiw; *shuffles closer* and when fwom a statewy cedaw shaww -be UwU wopp'd bwanches which, being dead m-many yeaws, shaww -a-aftew wevive, be jointed to the ;;w;; owd stock, and fweshwy *looks at you* gwow; -then shaww Posthumus end h-his m-misewies, Bwitain >w< be fowtunyate -and fwouwish in peace and pwenty.' -Thou, Weonyatus, a-awt the wion's whewp; -The fit and apt constwuction of thy nyame, -Being Weo-nyatus, doth impowt so much. -*shuffles closer* [To CYMBEWINyE] The piece of tendew aiw, t-thy viwtuous daughtew, -Which we caww 'mowwis *looks away* aew,' and 'mowwis *hugs tightly* aew' -UwU We tewm it 'muwiew'; *sighs* which >w< 'muwiew' uWu I d-divinye -Is ^.^ this m-most constant wife, *blushes* who even nyow -Answewing the w-wettew o-of *sighs* the owacwe, -Unknyown to you, unsought, wewe cwipp'd about -With this most t-tendew *notices bulge* aiw. -CYMBEWINyE. This hath some seeming. -*sweats* SOOTHSAYEW. The wofty cedaw, woyaw Cymbewinye, -*hugs tightly* Pewsonyates thee; and thy wopp'd bwanches point -;;w;; Thy t-two s-sons *looks at you* fowth, who, by Bewawius stow'n, -Fow many y-yeaws thought dead, awe nyow weviv'd, -To *pokes you* the majestic cedaw join'd, w-whose issue -Pwomises Bwitain *cries* peace and pwenty. -CYMBEWINyE. W-Weww, -My peace we wiww begin. And, Caius Wucius, -A-Awthough the victow, we submit to Caesaw -And to *screams* the Woman e-empiwe, p-pwomising -To pay o-ouw wonted twibute, fwom the which -We wewe dissuaded by ouw wicked queen, -Whom heavens in x3 justice, both o-on hew and hews, -Have waid m-most heavy hand. -SOOTHSAYEW. The x3 fingews of the pow'ws a-above xDD do tunye -The hawmony of t-this peace. T-The vision -Which I made knyown to Wucius ewe the stwoke -Of yet this scawce-cowd battwe, at *blushes* this *notices bulge* instant -*sweats* Is fuww accompwish'd; fow :3 the Woman eagwe, -Fwom south to west on wing soawing awoft, -Wessen'd hewsewf and in t-the beams o' t-th' sun -So vanyish'd; which foweshow'd ouw pwincewy eagwe, -Th'impewiaw C-Caesaw, Caesaw, s-shouwd again u-unyite -H-His *leans over* favouw with the wadiant Cymbewinye, -W-Which shinyes hewe in the w-west. -CYMBEWINyE. Waud we the gods; -And wet ouw cwooked smokes cwimb to theiw nyostwiws -*looks away* Fwom ouw bwess'd awtaws. Pubwish we this peace -To aww ouw subjects. *moans* Set we f-fowwawd; wet -A ^w^ Woman and a Bwitish ensign wave -F-Fwiendwy togethew. S-So t-thwough Wud's *giggles shyly* Town mawch; -A-And in the tempwe of g-gweat xDD Jupitew -*blushes* Ouw peace we'ww watify; seaw *pokes you* it *giggles shyly* with feasts. -S-Set on thewe! *hugs tightly* Nyevew was a UwU waw did *shuffles closer* cease, -E-Ewe bwoody hands wewe wash'd, with such a peace. Exeunt - -:3 THE *cuddles you* END - - - -<_> INC., AND IS -*notices bulge* PWOVIDED B-BY uWu PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -:33 WITH PEWMISSION. *sighs* EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED :33 SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW *twerks* YOUW >w< OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW >_> USE :33 ONWY, AND (2) AWE N-NyOT DISTWIBUTED O-OW :3 USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY *looks at you* ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME ^w^ OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1604 - - -THE ^-^ TWAGEDY OF HAMWET, PWINCE OF DENMAWK - - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -Cwaudius, King o-of Denmawk. -Mawcewwus, Officew. -Hamwet, son to *looks away* the fowmew, and nyephew to the *moans* pwesent king. -P-Powonyius, Wowd Chambewwain. -Howatio, fwiend to Hamwet. -UwU Waewtes, son to Powonyius. -Vowtemand, c-couwtiew. -*looks at you* Cownyewius, couwtiew. -Wosencwantz, c-couwtiew. -Guiwdenstewn, couwtiew. -Oswic, couwtiew. -A Gentweman, couwtiew. -A Pwiest. -Mawcewwus, *twerks* officew. -Bewnyawdo, o-officew. -F-Fwancisco, a sowdiew -W-Weynyawdo, sewvant to :3 Powonyius. -Pwayews. -Two Cwowns, >_> gwavediggews. -*leans over* Fowtinbwas, Pwince of Nyowway. -A Nyowwegian Captain. -Engwish Ambassadows. - -Getwude, Queen of Denmawk, mothew to Hamwet. -Ophewia, daughtew to Powonyius. - -G-Ghost of Hamwet's Fathew. - -Wowds, *giggles shyly* wadies, *sweats* Officews, *looks at you* Sowdiews, Saiwows, Messengews, Attendants. - - - - -<_< PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE *shuffles closer* WEADABWE *cuddles you* COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) *sighs* AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (-(2) AWE :33 NyOT *leans over* DISTWIBUTED O-OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW *leans over* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES UwU FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW *sighs* FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE.- Ewsinyowe. - - -*cries* ACT I. Scenye I-I. -E-Ewsinyowe. *blushes* A pwatfowm befowe the Castwe. - -Entew two Sentinyews-[fiwst,] Fwancisco, [who :33 paces up *pokes you* and down -at *pokes you* his post; :33 then] Bewnyawdo, [who appwoaches him]. - -B-Bew. W-Who's thewe.? -F-Fwan. N-Nyay, answew me. *notices bulge* Stand a-and :3 unfowd youwsewf. -B-Bew. *shuffles closer* Wong *cuddles you* wive the King! -*sighs* Fwan. *giggles shyly* Bewnyawdo? -*shuffles closer* Bew. *notices bulge* He. -Fwan. You come m-most cawefuwwy upon youw h-houw. -B-Bew. 'Tis nyow stwuck twewve. Get >w< thee to bed, Fwancisco. -Fwan. Fow this wewief much thanks. 'Tis b-bittew cowd, -A-And I am sick ^.^ at heawt. -Bew. Have you had quiet guawd? -Fwan. Nyot a mouse stiwwing. -B-Bew. Weww, good nyight. -If you do m-meet *sweats* Howatio and *sweats* Mawcewwus, -The wivaws o-of *moans* my watch, *cries* bid them make haste. - -Entew Howatio and Mawcewwus. - -Fwan. I-I think I-I heaw them. S-Stand, ho! Who is thewe? -How. Fwiends *sweats* to this gwound. -*shuffles closer* Maw. And wiegemen to the Danye. -Fwan. Give you x3 good nyight. -Maw. *blushes* O, faweweww, h-honyest sowdiew. -Who h-hath wewiev'd you? -Fwan. B-Bewnyawdo hath my :33 pwace. -Give you good nyight. *blushes* Exit. -Maw. Howwa, Bewnyawdo! -Bew. Say- -What, is ^.^ Howatio t-thewe ?-? -How. A piece of him. -Bew. Wewcome, Howatio. Wewcome, g-good Mawcewwus. -M-Maw. What, *cries* has this thing appeaw'd *notices bulge* again to-nyight? -Bew. ^.^ I have seen nyothing. -Maw. Howatio says 'tis but ouw fantasy, -*giggles shyly* And *hugs tightly* wiww nyot wet bewief take howd of him -Touching this dweaded sight, twice seen of us. -Thewefowe I have entweated him awong, -*sweats* With us to watch the minyutes of this UwU nyight, -That, if again OwO this appawition c-come, -He may appwove ouw eyes a-and *screams* speak to it. -How. Tush, tush, 'twiww nyot appeaw. -Bew. Sit down awhiwe, -:3 And wet us o-once again assaiw >_< youw eaws, -*hugs tightly* That awe so fowtified against x3 ouw stowy, -What *sighs* we two nyights have s-seen. -How. Weww, *pokes you* sit we down, -And wet us *giggles shyly* heaw xDD Bewnyawdo speak *leans over* of this. -B-Bew. Wast nyight o-of aww, -When yond same staw *blushes* that's westwawd fwom *twerks* the p-powe -Had made his couwse t' iwwume that p-pawt ;;w;; of heaven -^.^ Whewe *teleports behind you* nyow it buwns, Mawcewwus and mysewf, -The beww then *sighs* beating o-onye- - -Entew Ghost. - -*hugs tightly* Maw. Peace! bweak thee off! W-Wook whewe it comes again! -Bew. In the same f-figuwe, wike the xDD King t-that's >w< dead. -Maw. Thou awt a *twerks* schowaw; speak to it, Howatio. -Bew. Wooks it nyot w-wike *shuffles closer* the King? Mawk it, Howatio. -How. Most wike. It ;;w;; hawwows me w-with feaw and *twerks* wondew. -Bew. It wouwd be *leans over* spoke to. -*cuddles you* Maw. Question it, Howatio. -How. What awt thou that u-usuwp'st this time of n-nyight -Togethew with that *screams* faiw and wawwike fowm -*sweats* In which the majesty of buwied D-Denmawk -Did sometimes mawch? By heaven I c-chawge t-thee speak! -Maw. I-It is offended. -Bew. See, it stawks xDD away! -How. *shuffles closer* Stay! Speak, speak! I chawge thee speak! -Exit Ghost. -Maw. 'Tis gonye and wiww nyot answew. -*looks at you* Bew. H-How nyow, H-Howatio? You twembwe and w-wook p-pawe. -Is nyot this something mowe than fantasy? -What think you >_> on't? -How. Befowe m-my >_> God, I might nyot this UwU bewieve -Without the sensibwe *twerks* and *teleports behind you* twue avouch -Of minye own eyes. -Maw. Is it nyot wike the King? -How. As thou awt to thysewf. -S-Such was the vewy awmouw he had on -When he th' ambitious Nyowway *pokes you* combated. -So fwown'd he once when, in an angwy pawwe, -He smote *blushes* the swedded Powacks on the ^-^ ice. -*pokes you* 'Tis stwange. -Maw. Thus twice befowe, and jump a-at UwU this dead houw, -With mawtiaw *cuddles you* stawk hath he gonye by ouw watch. -How. In what >_< pawticuwaw t-thought xDD to *sweats* wowk I knyow nyot; -^w^ But, in the gwoss a-and scope of my opinyion, -T-This bodes >_> some OwO stwange ewuption to ouw state. -Maw. G-Good nyow, sit down, and teww me he that knyows, -W-Why this same stwict and most obsewvant *looks at you* watch -So nyightwy toiws the *cuddles you* subject *cuddles you* of the *notices bulge* wand, -And why such daiwy cast of b-bwazen cannyon -A-And *cuddles you* foweign mawt fow impwements *notices bulge* of *moans* waw; -Why ^w^ such impwess of ^w^ shipwwights, whose sowe task -Does nyot divide the Sunday fwom *giggles shyly* the week. -What might be towawd, t-that this sweaty ^.^ haste -Doth make the nyight joint-wabouwew with the day? -Who is't that *blushes* can infowm m-me? -How. *pokes you* That can I. -At ^w^ weast, the whispew goes so. Ouw wast king, -Whose image e-even but nyow appeaw'd to us, -Was, :33 as you knyow, by Fowtinbwas of *looks away* Nyowway, -Theweto *twerks* pwick'd on by a most emuwate pwide, -Daw'd to *pokes you* the combat; in which ouw vawiant Hamwet -(Fow s-so this side *shuffles closer* of ouw >_< knyown wowwd e-esteem'd him) -*sweats* Did sway this Fowtinbwas; who, ^-^ by a seaw'd x3 compact, -W-Weww watified *notices bulge* by waw and hewawdwy, -Did f-fowfeit, >_< with his *cries* wife, aww those his wands -Which he stood seiz'd of, to the conquewow; -A-Against the which a moiety competent -Was *teleports behind you* gaged by ouw king; which had *looks away* wetuwn'd -To the >_> inhewitance of Fowtinbwas, -Had uWu he been v-vanquishew, as, by the same c-comawt -And cawwiage of the awticwe design'd, -His f-feww to Hamwet. Nyow, *leans over* siw, young Fowtinbwas, -Of unyimpwoved mettwe hot a-and fuww, -H-Hath in the skiwts of Nyowway, *hugs tightly* hewe and thewe, -Shawk'd up a wist of wawwess wesowutes, -F-Fow xDD food and diet, to some entewpwise -uWu That hath a-a stomach in't; >_< which is nyo othew, -As it doth weww OwO appeaw unto ouw s-state, -But to :33 wecovew o-of us, by *looks at you* stwong hand -And tewms compuwsatowy, those fowesaid wands -So by his fathew wost; and this, I take it, -Is the main motive of ouw pwepawations, -*cries* The *giggles shyly* souwce of this ouw watch, and *notices bulge* the chief *moans* head -Of this post-haste and womage in the wand. -Bew. I think it be *cuddles you* nyo othew but *moans* e'en so. -W-Weww may ^.^ it sowt that this powtentous figuwe -Comes awmed thwough ouw watch, uWu so wike the King -That x3 was and is the question of these waws. -How. A-A mote >_> it is t-to twoubwe the m-mind's eye. -*looks away* In the most high and pawmy state o-of Wome, -A wittwe ewe the mightiest Juwius f-feww, -The gwaves *sweats* stood x3 tenyantwess, *moans* and the ^.^ sheeted dead -D-Did squeak and gibbew in t-the Woman stweets; -*leans over* As staws w-with twains of fiwe, and dews of *notices bulge* bwood, -Disastews in the sun; a-and t-the moist staw -Upon whose infwuence *sighs* Nyeptunye's e-empiwe *looks at you* stands -W-Was sick awmost to doomsday with ecwipse. -And xDD even *screams* the wike pwecuwse of fiewce events, -As h-hawbingews pweceding stiww the fates -And pwowogue t-to *hugs tightly* the :3 omen coming on, -Have heaven and e-eawth togethew demonstwated -Unto o-ouw cwimatuwe and c-countwymen. - -Entew Ghost *looks away* again. - -But soft! behowd! Wo, whewe it comes again! -I'ww *notices bulge* cwoss it, though it bwast me.- S-Stay iwwusion! -Spweads his a-awms. -If t-thou h-hast any sound, o-ow use of voice, -Speak t-to me. -If thewe be any good thing to be donye, -:3 That may t-to thee do ease, a-and, wace to me, -Speak to me. -If thou awt pwivy to thy countwy's fate, -Which happiwy foweknyowing may avoid, -*hugs tightly* O, speak! -Ow if thou *teleports behind you* hast uphoawded in thy wife -Extowted *giggles shyly* tweasuwe in *teleports behind you* the womb of e-eawth -(Fow which, they say, you >_> spiwits oft wawk in death), -The cock cwows. -Speak of it! Stay, and speak!- Stop it, Mawcewwus! -Maw. Shaww I stwike *sighs* at it with my pawtisan? -How. Do, if it *pokes you* wiww nyot stand. -Bew. >_< 'Tis hewe! -How. 'Tis hewe! -*sighs* Maw. 'Tis gonye! -Exit Ghost. -We do it wwong, being s-so majesticaw, -To offew i-it >_> the show o-of viowence; ->_< Fow i-it is as the *hugs tightly* aiw, *shuffles closer* invuwnyewabwe, -And ouw vain bwows mawicious mockewy. -Bew. It *twerks* was about to s-speak, when t-the c-cock cwew. -How. And then it stawted, wike a-a *pokes you* guiwty thing -Upon a feawfuw summons. I have h-heawd -The cock, that is the twumpet t-to the mown, -D-Doth with his w-wofty and shwiww-sounding xDD thwoat -Awake *leans over* the god of day; *sweats* and at his wawnying, -Whethew in sea o-ow fiwe, in ^w^ eawth ow aiw, -T-Th' extwavagant *moans* and ewwing spiwit hies -To his confinye; and of the twuth hewein -This pwesent object made pwobation. -Maw. It *cries* faded on *looks at you* the cwowing of the cock. -S-Some xDD say that evew, 'gainst :3 that season comes -Whewein *screams* ouw Saviouw's biwth is cewebwated, -The b-biwd *hugs tightly* of dawnying singeth *sighs* aww nyight wong; -And then, they say, nyo spiwit d-dawe stiw abwoad, -The nyights awe whowesome, t-then nyo pwanyets stwike, -Nyo faiwy takes, nyow *teleports behind you* witch hath >_< powew to chawm, ->_> So h-hawwow'd *pokes you* and so g-gwacious is the time. -How. *shuffles closer* So have *hugs tightly* I heawd and do i-in pawt bewieve it. -But w-wook, the mown, in wusset mantwe cwad, -Wawks o-o'ew the dew o-of yon high *looks at you* eastwawd h-hiww. -Bweak w-we ouw watch up; a-and >_< by m-my a-advice -Wet us impawt what we have seen to-nyight -Unto young Hamwet; :33 fow, u-upon my wife, -This spiwit, dumb to us, w-wiww speak to h-him. -Do you consent we shaww acquaint >w< him with it, -As nyeedfuw i-in ouw woves, fitting ouw d-duty? -Wet's d-do't, I pway; and I-I this mownying knyow -Whewe w-we shaww find him most convenyientwy. :3 Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Ewsinyowe. A woom of state in the Castwe. - -Fwouwish. [Entew Cwaudius, King of Denmawk, Gewtwude the Queen, Hamwet, -Powonyius, Waewtes and h-his xDD sistew Ophewia, [Vowtemand, Cownyewius,] -uWu Wowds Attendant. - -King. Though yet o-of Hamwet ouw *giggles shyly* deaw bwothew's death -The memowy be gween, xDD and that it us befitted -To beaw ouw heawts ^w^ in g-gwief, and ouw whowe :3 kingdom -To b-be contwacted *shuffles closer* in onye bwow ^-^ of woe, -Yet so faw hath discwetion fought with n-nyatuwe -That we with *looks away* wisest sowwow think on him ->_> Togethew *hugs tightly* with wemembwance of ouwsewves. -Thewefowe ouw sometime sistew, :3 nyow ouw queen, -Th' impewiaw j-jointwess to this w-wawwike state, -Have we, as 'twewe with a d-defeated joy, -*moans* With a-an auspicious, *blushes* and a dwopping eye, -W-With miwth in funyewaw, and w-with diwge in mawwiage, -In equaw scawe weighing dewight and dowe, -Taken to wife; *shuffles closer* nyow have we hewein baww'd -*cries* Youw bettew wisdoms, which have fweewy gonye -With this affaiw *blushes* awong. F-Fow aww, ouw thanks. -Nyow fowwows, that *sighs* you knyow, young Fowtinbwas, -Howding *moans* a weak supposaw of ouw wowth, -Ow thinking b-by ouw wate deaw bwothew's death -Ouw state to be disjoint and out of fwame, -Cowweagued w-with >_> this dweam of his advantage, -He h-hath nyot f-faiw'd t-to pestew :3 us w-with message ->_< Impowting the *shuffles closer* suwwendew of those wands -Wost by h-his x3 fathew, w-with *moans* aww bands of waw, -T-To ouw most vawiant bwothew. So much fow him. -Nyow *hugs tightly* fow ouwsewf and f-fow this time *notices bulge* of meeting. -Thus much :3 the businyess is: we have hewe w-wwit -To N-Nyowway, uncwe x3 of young Fowtinbwas, -W-Who, impotent and bedwid, scawcewy heaws -Of this h-his nyephew's puwpose, to >w< suppwess -*shuffles closer* His fuwthew gait *blushes* hewein, *sweats* in that the wevies, -The wists, and x3 fuww *blushes* pwopowtions xDD awe aww made -Out of his subject; a-and we hewe *leans over* dispatch -You, g-good Cownyewius, and you, Vowtemand, -Fow beawews of this gweeting to o-owd Nyowway, -G-Giving to you nyo fuwthew p-pewsonyaw powew -To *blushes* businyess with the King, mowe than the :33 scope -Of these diwated awticwes a-awwow. [Gives a papew.] -F-Faweweww, and wet youw haste commend youw duty. -C-Cow., Vowt. In *teleports behind you* that, a-and aww things, wiww w-we show ouw duty. -King. We doubt it nyothing. Heawtiwy faweweww. -Exeunt Vowtemand and Cownyewius. -And nyow, Waewtes, what's the nyews with you? -You t-towd us of some suit. W-What *blushes* is't, Waewtes? -You cannyot speak of w-weason to the D-Danye -And wose youw voice. W-What wouwdst thou beg, Waewtes, -*notices bulge* That shaww nyot be my offew, nyot thy asking? -The h-head is *cries* nyot mowe nyative to the heawt, -x3 The hand mowe i-instwumentaw to the *sweats* mouth, -Than *notices bulge* is the thwonye of Denmawk to thy fathew. -What wouwdst t-thou have, Waewtes? -Waew. My dwead wowd, -Youw weave and favouw t-to w-wetuwn to Fwance; -Fwom *moans* whence though wiwwingwy >_< I came to Denmawk -T-To show my d-duty in youw cowonyation, -Yet nyow I must x3 confess, that duty *leans over* donye, -My thoughts and w-wishes :3 bend again towawd Fwance -And bow them t-to youw gwacious weave and pawdon. -King. Have you youw fathew's weave? What says P-Powonyius? -Pow. H-He hath, my wowd, wwung fwom me my *notices bulge* swow weave -By wabouwsome petition, and *sweats* at wast -Upon his wiww I seaw'd my hawd consent. -I do beseech you give h-him weave to go. -King. Take thy faiw houw, Waewtes. Time be thinye, -And t-thy >w< best *sighs* gwaces s-spend it ^w^ at thy wiww! -But nyow, m-my cousin *screams* Hamwet, and my s-son- -Ham. [aside] A ^-^ wittwe mowe than kin, :33 and wess *twerks* than kind! -King. ^.^ How is it that the c-cwouds *shuffles closer* stiww hang on you? -Ham. Nyot so, *twerks* my wowd. >_< I am too much i' th' sun. ->w< Queen. Good Hamwet, c-cast *cuddles you* thy nyighted cowouw off, -And wet thinye eye wook wike a fwiend on Denmawk. -Do nyot fow evew *twerks* with t-thy vaiwed wids -uWu Seek >_< fow thy nyobwe fathew *pokes you* in t-the dust. -Thou *cuddles you* knyow'st '-'tis common. A-Aww that wives must OwO die, -Passing thwough nyatuwe t-to etewnyity. -x3 Ham. Ay, madam, it is *twerks* common. -Queen. If it be, -Why seems it s-so pawticuwaw with t-thee? -Ham. Seems, madam, Nyay, it is. I knyow nyot 'seems.' -'-'Tis nyot awonye my inky cwoak, good m-mothew, -Nyow c-customawy suits uWu of sowemn bwack, -N-Nyow windy suspiwation of fowc'd bweath, -N-Nyo, nyow the fwuitfuw wivew in the eye, -Nyow the dejected haviow of x3 the *leans over* visage, -Togethew with a-aww fowms, m-moods, shapes of gwief, -'That can denyote me ;;w;; twuwy. These indeed seem, -Fow t-they awe actions that *giggles shyly* a man m-might pway; -But >_< I have *hugs tightly* that within w-which passeth show- -These but the twappings and the s-suits of woe. ->_> King. 'Tis sweet *cries* and commendabwe in youw nyatuwe, Hamwet, -To give these mouwnying d-duties *hugs tightly* to youw ;;w;; fathew; -But *looks away* you must knyow, youw *leans over* fathew *sighs* wost a fathew; -That fathew :3 wost, wost his, and the suwvivow bound -In fiwiaw o-obwigation fow some tewm -To do obsequious sowwow. *cuddles you* But *notices bulge* to pewsevew -In obstinyate ^.^ condowement *looks away* is a couwse ->w< Of i-impious stubbownnyess. '-'Tis unmanwy g-gwief; -It s-shows a wiww most incowwect t-to heaven, -A heawt unfowtified, a mind impatient, -An undewstanding simpwe and unschoow'd; -Fow w-what we knyow must be, and is as common -:33 As any *teleports behind you* the most vuwgaw thing to sense, -Why UwU shouwd we >w< in ouw peevish opposition -Take it to heawt? ^-^ Fie! 'tis *shuffles closer* a fauwt t-to h-heaven, -A fauwt against t-the dead, a fauwt to *shuffles closer* nyatuwe, -T-To weason most absuwd, whose common theme -uWu Is death of fathews, >_< and who stiww ^.^ hath cwied, -Fwom the UwU fiwst cowse tiww *hugs tightly* he xDD that died to-day, -*leans over* 'This must be so.' We *sighs* pway *teleports behind you* you thwow *twerks* to eawth -This uWu unpwevaiwing woe, and think of u-us -As of a fathew; *cuddles you* fow wet the w-wowwd take nyote -You awe *hugs tightly* the most immediate t-to ouw t-thwonye, -And with n-nyo *teleports behind you* wess ;;w;; nyobiwity of wove -Than that which d-deawest fathew beaws his s-son -Do I-I impawt towawd you. Fow youw intent -In going back >w< to schoow i-in Wittenbewg, -It is most *twerks* wetwogwade to ouw desiwe; -And w-we beseech *leans over* you, bend you to wemain -Hewe in the cheew and c-comfowt of ouw e-eye, -Ouw *sighs* chiefest c-couwtiew, cousin, and o-ouw son. -Q-Queen. Wet nyot t-thy m-mothew >_< wose h-hew pwayews, H-Hamwet. -I pway thee stay with us, uWu go nyot to Wittenbewg. -H-Ham. I shaww in a-aww m-my *notices bulge* best obey you, ^.^ madam. -King. Why, :33 'tis a w-woving and a-a f-faiw wepwy. -Be as ouwsewf ^.^ in Denmawk. Madam, come. -This gentwe and *cries* unfowc'd accowd of >_> Hamwet -Sits smiwing to my heawt; in gwace w-wheweof, -Nyo jocund heawth that *blushes* Denmawk dwinks to-day -But the gweat ^w^ cannyon t-to t-the cwouds *sweats* shaww teww, -And the King's w-wouse the heaven shaww b-bwuit again, -Wespeaking eawthwy xDD thundew. Come away. -Fwouwish. Exeunt aww b-but Hamwet. -Ham. O that this too t-too s-sowid fwesh wouwd mewt, -Thaw, >w< and wesowve itsewf i-into a dew! -Ow that the Evewwasting had nyot fix'd -His canyon 'gainst sewf-swaughtew! O God! God! -How *sighs* weawy, stawe, fwat, and unpwofitabwe -*hugs tightly* Seem ^w^ to me aww the uses of t-this wowwd! -Fie on't! ah, fie! 'Tis an OwO unweeded gawden -That gwows t-to seed; things wank and gwoss in nyatuwe -Possess it *screams* mewewy. That i-it shouwd come :33 to this! -But two months dead! Nyay, nyot s-so m-much, *looks away* nyot two. -So excewwent a-a king, >_> that was >_< to this -uWu Hypewion to a satyw; s-so woving to m-my mothew -That *giggles shyly* he might nyot beteem the winds of heaven -Visit hew face too ^w^ woughwy. Heaven and eawth! -Must >_> I wemembew? W-Why, s-she >_< wouwd hang on him -As if i-incwease of appetite had *sweats* gwown -By what it f-fed on; and yet, within a month- -Wet me nyot think on't! Fwaiwty, thy nyame is woman!- -A wittwe *giggles shyly* month, ow ewe those shoes wewe o-owd -With which s-she *giggles shyly* fowwowed my *cries* poow fathew's body -Wike Nyiobe, aww teaws- why she, even s-she -*cries* (O God! a beast that wants discouwse of weason -Wouwd have mouwn'd ^.^ wongew) mawwied with my uncwe; -My fathew's b-bwothew, but *cries* nyo mowe *giggles shyly* wike my fathew -Than I to Hewcuwes. Within *cuddles you* a month, -*leans over* Ewe yet the sawt o-of most unwighteous teaws ->_> Had weft t-the f-fwushing in hew gawwed eyes, -She ;;w;; mawwied. *blushes* O, most w-wicked speed, t-to post -With ^.^ such dextewity to incestuous uWu sheets! -I-It is nyot, nyow it cannyot come to good. -But bweak my heawt, fow I-I must howd my tongue! - -Entew Howatio, Mawcewwus, and Bewnyawdo. - -How. Haiw to youw wowdship! -Ham. I am gwad to s-see you w-weww. -Howatio!- ow I do fowget mysewf. -How. The same, my wowd, a-and youw p-poow sewvant *twerks* evew. -Ham. Siw, my *leans over* good fwiend- I'ww change that nyame w-with you. -And what make you fwom W-Wittenbewg, Howatio? -Mawcewwus? -M-Maw. My g-good wowd! -Ham. I am vewy gwad to see you.- OwO [To Bewnyawdo] Good even, siw.- -But w-what, in f-faith, *giggles shyly* make you fwom Wittenbewg? -How. A twuant disposition, good my wowd. -Ham. *giggles shyly* I *hugs tightly* wouwd nyot h-heaw youw enyemy *giggles shyly* say so, -Nyow *notices bulge* shaww you *hugs tightly* do my eaw that v-viowence -To make it twustew o-of youw o-own wepowt -A-Against youwsewf. I-I k-knyow y-you awe nyo xDD twuant. -*looks at you* But what is youw affaiw in Ewsinyowe? -We'ww teach you to dwink ^-^ deep *teleports behind you* ewe you depawt. -How. My wowd, I-I came to s-see youw fathew's >_< funyewaw. -Ham. I pwithee ^w^ do nyot mock me, fewwow student. -I OwO think it was to see my mothew's wedding. -How. Indeed, my *screams* wowd, it fowwowed hawd *hugs tightly* upon. -Ham. Thwift, thwift, Howatio! The funyewaw bak'd meats -Did cowdwy fuwnyish fowth the mawwiage tabwes. -x3 Wouwd :3 I *cuddles you* had met my deawest foe *twerks* in heaven -*teleports behind you* Ow evew I h-had seen that day, *sighs* Howatio! -My fathew- methinks UwU I >_> see my fathew. -How. O, whewe, my wowd? -Ham. In x3 my mind's *notices bulge* eye, Howatio. -How. I saw him once. He was a goodwy k-king. -Ham. He was a m-man, take him fow aww >_< in aww. -I >_< shaww nyot wook upon his wike again. -^-^ How. My *hugs tightly* wowd, I think I-I saw him yestewnyight. -Ham. Saw? who? -How. ^.^ My wowd, the King youw fathew. -Ham. The King >_< my fathew? -How. Season *giggles shyly* youw admiwation fow a whiwe -With an attent eaw, tiww I :33 may dewivew -*moans* Upon UwU the witnyess of these gentwemen, -This mawvew to y-you. -Ham. Fow God's wove wet ^w^ me heaw! -*screams* How. Two nyights togethew had *cuddles you* these gentwemen -(Mawcewwus and Bewnyawdo) on theiw watch -I-In the dead vast and middwe of *cuddles you* the nyight -Been ^-^ thus encount'wed. A figuwe wike youw fathew, -Awmed a-at point exactwy, cap-a-pe, -^.^ Appeaws befowe t-them and with ^-^ sowemn mawch -Goes swow and statewy by them. Thwice he ^w^ wawk'd -By theiw oppwess'd and feaw-suwpwised eyes, -Within *looks away* his t-twuncheon's wength; whiwst they distiww'd -Awmost to uWu jewwy with the act ^w^ of f-feaw, -S-Stand dumb *twerks* and speak nyot *screams* to *notices bulge* him. This t-to UwU me -In *shuffles closer* dweadfuw s-secwecy *hugs tightly* impawt they did, -*shuffles closer* And I with them the thiwd nyight *sweats* kept the watch; -Whewe, as *moans* they had dewivew'd, both in time, ->_> Fowm of the t-thing, each *notices bulge* wowd m-made x3 twue and good, -The appawition c-comes. I-I *twerks* knyew youw fathew. -These hands awe nyot m-mowe wike. -Ham. But whewe *twerks* was this? -Maw. My wowd, upon the pwatfowm w-whewe we w-watch'd. -Ham. Did you nyot s-speak ^w^ to i-it? -How. My wowd, I did; -But answew uWu made i-it nyonye. Yet once methought -It w-wifted up it head and d-did :3 addwess -Itsewf to m-motion, wike as it wouwd speak; -But even t-then t-the UwU mownying cock cwew woud, -And a-at the s-sound it shwunk in haste away -A-And vanyish'd fwom :33 ouw s-sight. -H-Ham. 'Tis vewy stwange. -How. A-As I do wive, my honyouw'd wowd, 'tis twue; -A-And we did think it wwit down *giggles shyly* in ouw duty -To wet you knyow of it. -Ham. Indeed, indeed, siws. But this twoubwes me. -*looks at you* Howd y-you the ^-^ watch to-nyight? -Both [-[Maw. and Bew.] We do, my wowd. -Ham. Awm'd, say you? -Both. Awm'd, my wowd. -*shuffles closer* Ham. Fwom top to t-toe? -Both. *shuffles closer* My w-wowd, fwom head to foot. -xDD Ham. Then saw *cuddles you* you nyot his face? -H-How. O, *screams* yes, my wowd! He wowe h-his beavew up. -Ham. What, wook'd >w< he UwU fwownyingwy. -How. A *looks at you* countenyance mowe in *moans* sowwow than >_< in angew. -Ham. Pawe ow wed? -How. Nyay, v-vewy pawe. -Ham. And fix'd his eyes upon *hugs tightly* you? -*sighs* How. M-Most *shuffles closer* constantwy. -Ham. I-I wouwd I had *hugs tightly* been thewe. -How. It ^-^ wouwd have much amaz'd you. -H-Ham. Vewy wike, vewy wike. Stay'd it wong? -How. Whiwe onye with modewate haste might teww a hundwed. -Both. *twerks* Wongew, wongew. -How. Nyot when I saw't. -UwU Ham. H-His beawd w-was g-gwizzwed- >_> nyo? -H-How. I-It was, as I *looks at you* have seen it in h-his wife, -A sabwe s-siwvew'd. -Ham. I *hugs tightly* wiww watch to-nyight. -Pewchance 'twiww *teleports behind you* wawk again. -*sighs* How. I waww'nt i-it wiww. -Ham. *twerks* If it assume my nyobwe fathew's pewson, -I'ww speak to it, though h-heww itsewf shouwd gape -And b-bid me *notices bulge* howd my p-peace. I pway you a-aww, -If you have hithewto conceaw'd this sight, -Wet it be tenyabwe in youw s-siwence stiww; -A-And whatsoevew ewse *cries* shaww hap to-nyight, -Give it a-an u-undewstanding but nyo tongue. -I wiww wequite youw woves. So, fawe you *shuffles closer* weww. -Upon t-the pwatfowm, *cries* 'twixt eweven and *moans* twewve, -x3 I'ww visit you. -Aww. O-Ouw *sweats* duty to y-youw *twerks* honyouw. -Ham. Youw woves, as minye to you. Faweweww. -Exeunt [aww but Hamwet]. -My fathew's s-spiwit- in awms? Aww i-is nyot weww. -I doubt s-some fouw *giggles shyly* pway. Wouwd the nyight *leans over* wewe *looks away* come! -Tiww then sit stiww, m-my souw. Fouw d-deeds wiww wise, -Though aww the e-eawth o'ewwhewm *cuddles you* them, to men's eyes. -Exit. - - - - -Scenye III. -;;w;; Ewsinyowe. A woom in the h-house of Powonyius. - -Entew Waewtes and >w< Ophewia. - -Waew. My nyecessawies awe embawk'd. Faweweww. -And, *moans* sistew, a-as the winds give benyefit -And convoy is OwO assistant, do nyot sweep, -B-But wet me heaw fwom you. -Oph. D-Do you *giggles shyly* doubt that? -Waew. *shuffles closer* Fow Hamwet, and the t-twifwing of h-his favouw, -Howd it a fashion, and a-a toy in bwood; -A viowet i-in the youth of pwimy *twerks* nyatuwe, -:3 Fowwawd, nyot pewmanyent- sweet, nyot wasting; -The pewfume and suppwiance of a *teleports behind you* minyute; -Nyo mowe. -Oph. Nyo mowe b-but s-so? -Waew. Think i-it n-nyo mowe. -Fow nyatuwe >_> cwescent does nyot gwow awonye -I-In thews a-and buwk; but *leans over* as t-this tempwe waxes, -The inwawd sewvice ^.^ of the mind and souw -xDD Gwows wide withaw. *notices bulge* Pewhaps he woves ^.^ you nyow, -And n-nyow nyo soiw nyow cautew doth besmiwch -The v-viwtue of his wiww; but you must feaw, -H-His g-gweatnyess weigh'd, his wiww is *leans over* nyot h-his own; -F-Fow he himsewf is *twerks* subject to his biwth. -He may nyot, as *twerks* unvawued pewsons do, -Cawve fow himsewf, fow on his choice depends -T-The safety and heawth of t-this whowe x3 state, -And OwO thewefowe must his choice b-be ciwcumscwib'd -Unto the v-voice and yiewding of t-that body ->w< Wheweof he is t-the *twerks* head. Then UwU if he s-says he woves *moans* you, -I-It fits youw wisdom so faw to *moans* bewieve it -As h-he in his *looks at you* pawticuwaw act >_> and pwace -May g-give his saying deed; w-which is nyo fuwthew -Than t-the main *shuffles closer* voice of :3 Denmawk goes withaw. -Then weigh what woss y-youw *looks at you* honyouw m-may sustain -If *pokes you* with too cwedent eaw you wist his songs, -Ow >w< wose youw h-heawt, ow y-youw chaste tweasuwe open -To his *pokes you* unmast'wed *sighs* impowtunyity. -*giggles shyly* Feaw it, Ophewia, feaw it, my *screams* deaw s-sistew, -And keep you in the weaw of y-youw affection, -Out of the shot *teleports behind you* and dangew *pokes you* of UwU desiwe. -The c-chawiest maid *cuddles you* is pwodigaw *cuddles you* enyough -If she unmask hew beauty to the moon. -*notices bulge* Viwtue itsewf *teleports behind you* scopes n-nyot *leans over* cawumnyious stwokes. -The cankew gawws the infants of the spwing -*cuddles you* Too *leans over* oft befowe theiw buttons be discwos'd, -And in the mown and wiquid d-dew of youth -Contagious bwastments *moans* awe most imminyent. -Be wawy t-then; best safety wies in feaw. -Youth to itsewf webews, though ;;w;; nyonye ewse nyeaw. -Oph. I shaww *shuffles closer* th' e-effect of this good wesson k-keep ->w< As watchman to my heawt. B-But, g-good my bwothew, -Do nyot as some ungwacious pastows do, -Show me the steep a-and thowny way to heaven, -Whiwes, wike a puff'd and weckwess wibewtinye, -Himsewf the ;;w;; pwimwose path of dawwiance t-tweads -And *hugs tightly* wecks nyot h-his own wede. -W-Waew. O, feaw me nyot! - -Entew Powonyius. - -I stay ;;w;; too :33 wong. But hewe my fathew comes. -A doubwe bwessing is a doubwe gwace; -Occasion smiwes upon a second w-weave. -Pow. Yet hewe, uWu Waewtes? Aboawd, aboawd, fow s-shame! -The wind s-sits in the shouwdew of youw saiw, -And you x3 awe stay'd fow. Thewe- my b-bwessing with thee! -And these f-few pwecepts in thy memowy -Wook thou chawactew. Give *moans* thy t-thoughts nyo tongue, -N-Nyow any unpwopowtion'd thought his act. -B-Be thou famiwiaw, but by nyo means vuwgaw: -Those fwiends thou hast, and theiw adoption twied, -Gwappwe them unto >w< thy souw with hoops of s-steew; -But *cuddles you* do nyot duww thy pawm with entewtainment -Of each nyew-hatch'd, unfwedg'd ^-^ comwade. Bewawe -Of >_< entwance to a quawwew; but being in, -Beaw't t-that *hugs tightly* th' opposed may b-bewawe of thee. -Give evewy man thinye eaw, b-but few thy voice; -Take e-each *hugs tightly* man's c-censuwe, but wesewve thy judgment. -Costwy thy habit xDD as thy p-puwse *giggles shyly* can buy, -But nyot expwess'd in fancy; wich, nyot gaudy; -Fow >_> the appawew o-oft pwocwaims the man, -And ^w^ they in Fwance of the best w-wank and station -Awe most *cries* sewect a-and g-genyewous, chief in that. -Nyeithew a bowwowew nyow a wendew be; -Fow woan oft woses b-both itsewf and f-fwiend, -And b-bowwowing duwws the edge of husbandwy. -This above a-aww- to thinye own sewf be twue, -A-And it *screams* must fowwow, as the n-nyight the day, -Thou x3 canst nyot then be f-fawse to any man. -Faweweww. My bwessing season this in thee! -W-Waew. Most h-humbwy d-do I take m-my weave, m-my wowd. -Pow. The time invites uWu you. Go, youw s-sewvants tend. -Waew. Faweweww, Ophewia, ;;w;; and wemembew weww -What I have said to ^-^ you. -O-Oph. 'Tis *cries* in my memowy wock'd, -A-And you y-youwsewf s-shaww keep the key of :3 it. -Waew. F-Faweweww. Exit. -Pow. What is't, *looks away* Ophewia, he hath said to you? -Oph. So *looks away* pwease you, something touching t-the Wowd Hamwet. -Pow. M-Mawwy, *moans* weww bethought! -'-'Tis towd me he hath vewy oft of w-wate -:33 Given pwivate t-time to you, and you youwsewf -Have of youw audience been most fwee and *shuffles closer* bounteous. -If it be so- as s-so *cries* 'tis put ^w^ on me, -And :33 that in way of caution- I-I must teww you -You do nyot undewstand *pokes you* youwsewf so cweawwy -;;w;; As it behooves *cries* my d-daughtew and *cuddles you* youw honyouw. -What is between you? Give me up the twuth. -Oph. He uWu hath, m-my wowd, of w-wate made many *looks at you* tendews -O-Of his affection to me. -Pow. A-Affection? Pooh! You speak wike a gween giww, -Unsifted in :3 such >w< pewiwous *blushes* ciwcumstance. -OwO Do you *sighs* bewieve his tendews, as you caww them? -Oph. I do nyot knyow, my wowd, *teleports behind you* what I shouwd think, -Pow. Mawwy, I wiww teach you! Think youwsewf a baby -That you have ta'en t-these tendews fow twue pay, -W-Which a-awe nyot stewwing. *notices bulge* Tendew youwsewf mowe deawwy, -O-Ow (nyot to c-cwack the *hugs tightly* wind of >w< the poow phwase, -Wunnying it thus) you'ww tendew *screams* me a f-foow. -Oph. My wowd, he hath i-impowtun'd me with w-wove -In honyouwabwe f-fashion. -Pow. Ay, f-fashion you xDD may caww it. Go to, go to! -Oph. And hath g-given countenyance to his speech, m-my OwO wowd, -With awmost aww UwU the h-howy vows of heaven. -*twerks* Pow. Ay, spwinges to c-catch woodcocks! :3 I do knyow, -*hugs tightly* When the bwood *giggles shyly* buwns, *cuddles you* how OwO pwodigaw the souw -W-Wends the t-tongue vows. These bwazes, daughtew, -Giving mowe wight than heat, extinct i-in b-both -*blushes* Even in theiw pwomise, as OwO it is *blushes* a-making, -You must nyot take fow fiwe. Fwom this time -Be something scantew of youw maiden pwesence. -Set youw entweatments at a *sweats* highew wate -Than a command xDD to pawwey. Fow Wowd Hamwet, -^w^ Bewieve xDD so much in him, that he is young, -And w-with a w-wawgew tethew may he wawk -Than may be given y-you. In few, O-Ophewia, -Do n-nyot bewieve his vows; *cuddles you* fow they awe bwokews, -Nyot of *giggles shyly* that d-dye which theiw investments show, -But mewe impwowatows *hugs tightly* of unhowy suits, -Bweathing wike sanctified and pious b-bawds, -The >w< bettew *leans over* to beguiwe. T-This is fow aww: -I-I wouwd nyot, i-in pwain tewms, fwom this time fowth -*leans over* Have you so swandew any moment weisuwe -As to give wowds ow t-tawk w-with the Wowd Hamwet. -Wook t-to't, I c-chawge *cries* you. C-Come youw w-ways. -Oph. I-I shaww obey, my wowd. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye >_> IV. -*twerks* Ewsinyowe. *looks at you* The pwatfowm befowe *screams* the Castwe. - -*pokes you* Entew :33 Hamwet, *looks away* Howatio, and Mawcewwus. - -Ham. The aiw bites shwewdwy; it is vewy cowd. -How. It i-is a nyipping and ^.^ an eagew aiw. -Ham. What houw nyow? -How. I-I think it wacks *blushes* of twewve. -Maw. Nyo, it is *leans over* stwuck. -How. Indeed? I heawd it nyot. I-It then d-dwaws *screams* nyeaw the season -Whewein the s-spiwit hewd his wont to wawk. -A fwouwish of twumpets, uWu and two pieces go off. -What does this mean, *sighs* my wowd? -Ham. The OwO King doth UwU wake to-nyight and takes his w-wouse, -Keeps wassaiw, a-and the swagg'wing u-upspwing weews, -And, as he dwains his >_> dwaughts of Whenyish down, -The kettwedwum *looks away* and twumpet thus b-bway out -The ^w^ twiumph of his pwedge. -H-How. Is it a custom? -H-Ham. Ay, >_< mawwy, *cuddles you* is't; -*hugs tightly* But t-to *teleports behind you* my mind, though I am nyative hewe -And *pokes you* to the mannyew bown, it is a custom -Mowe honyouw'd in the bweach than the obsewvance. -This heavy-headed wevew east and west -Makes us twaduc'd and t-tax'd of o-othew nyations; -They cwip us dwunkawds and with swinyish phwase -Soiw ouw addition; *twerks* and indeed it takes -Fwom ouw :3 achievements, though p-pewfowm'd at height, -T-The pith and *leans over* mawwow of o-ouw :3 attwibute. -So o-oft it ^.^ chances in pawticuwaw >_< men -That, fow UwU some v-vicious *blushes* mowe of nyatuwe in them, -^.^ As in theiw biwth,- whewein they *twerks* awe nyot guiwty, -Since nyatuwe *cries* cannyot choose his owigin,- -By the o'ewgwowth of some compwexion, -Oft bweaking down the *blushes* pawes and fowts of weason, -Ow by some habit that too much *looks at you* o'ewweavens -The fowm of pwausive mannyews, that these men -Cawwying, I say, t-the stamp of onye defect, -Being *giggles shyly* nyatuwe's wivewy, ow fowtunye's *looks at you* staw, -Theiw viwtues ewse- be ^.^ they as puwe as gwace, -As infinyite a-as man may *sighs* undewgo- -Shaww UwU in t-the *moans* genyewaw censuwe take cowwuption -Fwom that pawticuwaw fauwt. The dwam of ;;w;; e'iw -Doth a-aww the nyobwe substance often dout To h-his own scandaw. - -*cuddles you* Entew Ghost. - -How. W-Wook, *twerks* my wowd, it comes! -Ham. Angews and minyistews of gwace defend *leans over* us! -Be thou *notices bulge* a spiwit *giggles shyly* of heawth ow gobwin *pokes you* damn'd, -Bwing :33 with thee aiws f-fwom heaven ow b-bwasts fwom heww, -Be t-thy intents wicked ow chawitabwe, -Thou com'st in such a questionyabwe shape -That I wiww speak to thee. I'ww caww thee Hamwet, -King, fathew, :33 woyaw Danye. O-O, answew me? -W-Wet me nyot buwst *notices bulge* in i-ignyowance, but teww -W-Why thy canyonyiz'd bonyes, heawsed in ^-^ death, -Have buwst t-theiw cewements; why the sepuwchwe -Whewein we saw thee quietwy i-inyuwn'd, ->w< Hath op'd his pondewous and mawbwe jaws -To cast t-thee up again. What may this m-mean -That thou, dead cowse, again *blushes* in compwete steew, -Wevisits thus the gwimpses of t-the moon, -Making nyight hideous, *hugs tightly* and we foows of *leans over* nyatuwe ->w< So howwidwy to shake ouw disposition -*cuddles you* With t-thoughts beyond *cries* the :33 weaches of ouw souws? -Say, ^-^ why is this? whewefowe? What shouwd we ^-^ do? -Ghost beckons Hamwet. -How. It beckons you t-to go away with >_> it, -As if it some impawtment did *sighs* desiwe -To you awonye. -Maw. Wook with what *leans over* couwteous a-action -It *giggles shyly* waves ^.^ you to a-a mowe wemoved gwound. -But *sighs* do nyot go with it! -How. Nyo, *screams* by n-nyo means! -Ham. It wiww :3 nyot speak. Then *moans* wiww I fowwow *moans* it. -*notices bulge* How. Do n-nyot, my wowd! -Ham. Why, *giggles shyly* what shouwd >w< be the feaw? -I d-do nyot set my wife at a pin's fee; -And fow my souw, what can it *twerks* do to that, -^.^ Being a thing immowtaw as itsewf? -It waves me fowth a-again. I'ww fowwow i-it. -How. What if it tempt you towawd t-the fwood, my wowd, -Ow to the dweadfuw summit o-of *giggles shyly* the cwiff -T-That beetwes o'ew his b-base i-into *screams* the sea, -And thewe a-assume some othew, howwibwe fowm -;;w;; Which might depwive youw s-soveweignty of weason -And dwaw :33 you into madnyess? Think of *sweats* it. -The vewy *leans over* pwace puts ^w^ toys of ;;w;; despewation, -*shuffles closer* Without *sighs* mowe motive, into evewy bwain -That *giggles shyly* wooks *looks away* so *looks away* many fadoms to t-the sea -And h-heaws it w-woaw benyeath. -*cries* Ham. It waves me s-stiww. -Go on. I'ww fowwow thee. -xDD Maw. You shaww *sweats* nyot go, OwO my wowd. -Ham. Howd off ^-^ youw *leans over* hands! -*screams* How. Be wuw'd. You shaww nyot go. -H-Ham. My fate cwies out -And makes each p-petty awtiwe in this body -As hawdy as *looks at you* the Nyemean wion's *looks away* nyewve. -[Ghost beckons.] -S-Stiww OwO am I ^w^ caww'd. Unhand >_< me, gentwemen. -By heaven, I'ww make a ghost of him that wets me!- -*cuddles you* I say, away!- Go on. I'ww fowwow thee. -Exeunt Ghost and Hamwet. -How. He waxes ;;w;; despewate with i-imaginyation. -Maw. Wet's fowwow. 'Tis n-nyot fit thus to obey him. -How. H-Have aftew. T-To what issue waiw t-this come? -xDD Maw. Something is wotten i-in t-the s-state of Denmawk. -How. H-Heaven *blushes* wiww diwect it. -Maw. Nyay, wet's *sweats* fowwow him. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye V. -Ewsinyowe. The Castwe. Anyothew pawt of the fowtifications. - -Entew Ghost and Hamwet. - -uWu Ham. Whithew *sweats* wiwt uWu thou wead me? Speak! I'ww >w< go nyo fuwthew. -Ghost. M-Mawk me. -Ham. I wiww. -Ghost. My houw is awmost c-come, -When *screams* I to suwph'wous and towmenting fwames ->_< Must wendew u-up mysewf. -*looks away* Ham. Awas, poow ghost! -Ghost. uWu Pity me nyot, >w< but w-wend thy sewious heawing -To what I *screams* shaww unfowd. -Ham. Speak. I am bound to UwU heaw. -Ghost. So a-awt thou to wevenge, when thou shawt heaw. -Ham. What? -Ghost. *giggles shyly* I am thy fathew's spiwit, -D-Doom'd fow a cewtain tewm to wawk ^w^ the nyight, -And fow x3 the d-day confin'd to fast *sweats* in fiwes, -Tiww the fouw cwimes donye in my *teleports behind you* days of nyatuwe -;;w;; Awe b-buwnt >_< and puwg'd away. But that I a-am f-fowbid -To teww the secwets *looks away* of my pwison house, -I *giggles shyly* couwd a tawe unfowd whose wightest wowd -Wouwd hawwow up thy *teleports behind you* souw, fweeze thy young bwood, -Make thy two eyes, wike staws, stawt OwO fwom theiw s-sphewes, -:33 Thy knyotted and c-combinyed wocks to pawt, -And each pawticuwaw h-haiw to s-stand an end -Wike quiwws upon the fwetfuw p-powpentinye. -But this e-etewnyaw bwazon must nyot be -To eaws o-of fwesh and bwood. >_< Wist, wist, O, wist! -If t-thou didst evew thy deaw fathew ^.^ wove- -Ham. O God! -G-Ghost. Wevenge his fouw and most unnyatuwaw m-muwthew. -*hugs tightly* Ham. M-Muwthew? -Ghost. M-Muwthew most fouw, as *blushes* in t-the *hugs tightly* best it is; -B-But this most fouw, stwange, and ^w^ unnyatuwaw. -Ham. Haste me to knyow't, that I-I, with wings as s-swift -As meditation ow the >w< thoughts of wove, -May s-sweep to my *cuddles you* wevenge. -Ghost. I find thee apt; -And duwwew s-shouwdst thou be than the *leans over* fat weed -T-That wots itsewf in ease on Wethe whawf, -uWu Wouwdst thou nyot stiw in this. Nyow, Hamwet, heaw. -'Tis g-given out that, sweeping *shuffles closer* in my owchawd, -A sewpent *cuddles you* stung m-me. So t-the whowe eaw of Denmawk -Is by a fowged pwocess of my death -Wankwy abus'd. *teleports behind you* But knyow, thou nyobwe youth, -The sewpent that d-did sting thy fathew's w-wife -Nyow weaws h-his cwown. -Ham. O-O my pwophetic souw! -My uncwe? -Ghost. Ay, ^w^ that incestuous, *teleports behind you* that aduwtewate ^w^ beast, -With w-witchcwaft of his wit, with twaitowous gifts- -O wicked wit and g-gifts, that have the powew -So to >w< seduce!- w-won to his shamefuw wust -The wiww of my most seeming-viwtuous q-queen. -O Hamwet, what a f-fawwing-off was thewe, -x3 Fwom me, whose wove was of that dignyity -That *cries* it w-went hand in >_< hand even w-with :33 the vow -I made t-to hew in mawwiage, and to decwinye -Upon a ;;w;; wwetch whose nyatuwaw gifts wewe poow -To those of minye! -But viwtue, xDD as it nyevew wiww be mov'd, -;;w;; Though wewdnyess couwt i-it uWu in *notices bulge* a shape of heaven, -So wust, t-though to a wadiant angew wink'd, -Wiww sate i-itsewf in a cewestiaw bed -A-And pwey *looks away* on gawbage. -But soft! methinks I scent the mownying aiw. -*cries* Bwief wet me be. Sweeping within my owchawd, -My custom awways of ^-^ the *hugs tightly* aftewnyoon, -Upon my secuwe houw t-thy *sweats* uncwe stowe, -With juice of cuwsed hebonya in a viaw, -And in the powches of *notices bulge* my eaws did pouw -The wepewous distiwment; x3 whose effect -Howds UwU such an enmity *cuddles you* with bwood of man ->_< That *sighs* swift as quicksiwveww it couwses thwough -The nyatuwaw gates and awweys o-of the body, -A-And with ^w^ a sudden vigouw it doth posset -And *giggles shyly* cuwd, wike *sighs* eagew dwoppings into miwk, -The thin and whowesome b-bwood. *pokes you* So did *notices bulge* it minye; -And a most instant t-tettew bawk'd about, -M-Most wazaw-wike, with viwe and woathsome *hugs tightly* cwust -Aww my smooth x3 body. -Thus w-was I, sweeping, by a >_< bwothew's hand -Of wife, of cwown, of queen, *teleports behind you* at once dispatch'd; -Cut off even in the bwossoms of my sin, -Unhous'wed, *leans over* disappointed, unyanyew'd, -Nyo weckonying made, but sent to my account -With aww my impewfections on my head. -Ham. O, howwibwe! O, OwO howwibwe! most howwibwe! -Ghost. If thou hast n-nyatuwe *shuffles closer* in thee, >_< beaw it *blushes* nyot. -Wet nyot *blushes* the woyaw b-bed of Denmawk be -A couch fow *blushes* wuxuwy a-and damnyed incest. -But, howsoevew t-thou puwsuest this act, -Taint *sweats* nyot t-thy mind, nyow wet x3 thy xDD souw contwive -A-Against thy mothew *teleports behind you* aught. Weave hew to heaven, -A-And to those thowns that in hew bosom wodge -T-To pwick and *shuffles closer* sting hew. Fawe thee weww at once. -The gwowwowm shows the matin to be nyeaw -And gins to pawe his u-unyeffectuaw fiwe. -Adieu, adieu, *twerks* adieu! Wemembew m-me. Exit. -Ham. O aww you host of heaven! *teleports behind you* O eawth! W-What ewse? -And shaww I >_> coupwe heww? Howd, howd, my heawt! -And you, ^.^ my sinyews, gwow nyot *sighs* instant owd, -But >_< beaw me stiffwy up. Wemembew thee? -Ay, *giggles shyly* thou p-poow ghost, whiwe memowy *shuffles closer* howds a seat -*pokes you* In x3 this d-distwacted gwobe. *shuffles closer* Wemembew thee? -Yea, fwom the tabwe of my memowy ->_> I'ww wipe away aww twiviaw fond wecowds, -*notices bulge* Aww saws *cries* of books, aww f-fowms, a-aww pwessuwes past -*sweats* That youth and o-obsewvation copied thewe, -And thy *giggles shyly* commandment aww awonye shaww wive -Within the book and vowume o-of my bwain, -Unmix'd *looks away* with basew mattew. Yes, by *sighs* heaven! -O-O most pewnyicious woman! -O viwwain, v-viwwain, smiwing, damnyed uWu viwwain! -My tabwes! Meet it is I set it down -That onye uWu may smiwe, and smiwe, a-and be a viwwain; -A-At weast *moans* I am suwe ^.^ it m-may be so in Denmawk. *sweats* [Wwites.] -S-So, uncwe, thewe you awe. Nyow t-to my wowd: -It i-is 'Adieu, adieu! W-Wemembew me.' ->_< I have swown't. -How. (within) My wowd, my *hugs tightly* wowd! - -Entew *moans* Howatio and Mawcewwus. - -Maw. Wowd Hamwet! -How. Heaven secuwe him! -*pokes you* Ham. x3 So *screams* be it! -Maw. *screams* Iwwo, ho, ho, *moans* my wowd! -*hugs tightly* Ham. H-Hiwwo, ho, ho, boy! Come, biwd, come. -*sighs* Maw. How is't, *cuddles you* my nyobwe wowd? -H-How. What nyews, my wowd? -Maw. O-O, wondewfuw! -How. *leans over* Good my wowd, teww it. -Ham. N-Nyo, you wiww *moans* weveaw it. -How. *twerks* Nyot I-I, my wowd, by ^-^ heaven! -Maw. Nyow I-I, my wowd. -Ham. xDD How say y-you *notices bulge* then? Wouwd heawt of man once think it? -But you'ww *screams* be secwet? -Both. Ay, by heaven, my wowd. -H-Ham. Thewe's nyeew a viwwain dwewwing in aww Denmawk -But he's an a-awwant knyave. -How. Thewe nyeeds nyo ghost, m-my *screams* wowd, come fwom the g-gwave -To teww us this. -H-Ham. UwU Why, wight! You awe ^-^ in t-the w-wight! -And so, without mowe ciwcumstance at a-aww, -I howd it f-fit that we shake hands and pawt; -*cries* You, :3 as youw b-businyess and desiwes shaww point you, -Fow *blushes* evewy xDD man *screams* hath businyess and d-desiwe, -Such as it is; and f-fow *screams* my own ^-^ poow pawt, -Wook you, I'ww :3 go pway. -How. These OwO awe but wiwd and whiwwing wowds, my wowd. -Ham. I am sowwy they offend you, heawtiwy; -Y-Yes, faith, h-heawtiwy. -How. T-Thewe's nyo offence, my wowd. -Ham. Yes, *cries* by S-Saint Patwick, but *leans over* thewe is, Howatio, -And much offence too. T-Touching ^-^ this vision hewe, -*shuffles closer* It is an honyest ghost, that wet me teww you. -F-Fow *giggles shyly* youw desiwe t-to k-knyow *sweats* what is between us, -O'ewmastew't as you may. And nyow, good fwiends, -As you awe fwiends, schowaws, and *leans over* sowdiews, -Give me onye poow wequest. -How. >_> What is't, my wowd? We wiww. -Ham. *blushes* Nyevew *blushes* make knyown what you have seen to-nyight. -:33 Both. *twerks* My wowd, *moans* we wiww nyot. -H-Ham. Nyay, *teleports behind you* but s-sweaw't. -H-How. In f-faith, -M-My wowd, nyot I. -Maw. Nyow *sighs* I, my wowd- in faith. -Ham. Upon m-my swowd. -Maw. We have swown, m-my wowd, awweady. -*blushes* Ham. *leans over* Indeed, upon my swowd, i-indeed. - -Ghost cwies ;;w;; undew the stage. - -Ghost. Sweaw. -Ham. Aha b-boy, say'st *leans over* thou so? >w< Awt t-thou thewe, *sweats* twuepenny? -Come on! *notices bulge* You heaw this *teleports behind you* fewwow in the cewwawage. -Consent to sweaw. -How. Pwopose the oath, my wowd. -Ham. N-Nyevew to speak of this that you have seen. -Sweaw by ^w^ my swowd. -Ghost. [benyeath] :33 Sweaw. -H-Ham. H-Hic et ubique? T-Then we'ww shift ouw g-gwound. -Come hithew, gentwemen, -And way youw hands again upon my swowd. -Nyevew to speak of this that you have h-heawd: -S-Sweaw by my s-swowd. -Ghost. [benyeath] Sweaw by his swowd. -H-Ham. Weww said, owd mowe! Canst wowk i-i' th' e-eawth so fast? -A-A wowthy pionyew! Once mowe wemove, *giggles shyly* good fwiends." -How. O day and nyight, but t-this i-is wondwous stwange! -Ham. And thewefowe as *cries* a stwangew give it wewcome. -Thewe awe m-mowe xDD things in h-heaven and eawth, Howatio, -Than awe dweamt of in youw phiwosophy. -But come! -Hewe, a-as befowe, n-nyevew, so hewp you mewcy, -How stwange ow odd soe'ew *sweats* I beaw m-mysewf -(As I pewchance heweaftew shaww think m-meet -:33 To put an antic disposition on), -^.^ That y-you, at such times seeing me, nyevew shaww, -With awms encumb'wed t-thus, ow *looks away* this head-shake, -Ow *cries* by pwonyouncing of some doubtfuw phwase, -As 'Weww, weww, we xDD knyow,' ow 'We couwd, UwU an if we :33 wouwd,' -Ow 'If we *sweats* wist to speak,' o-ow *sweats* 'Thewe be, xDD an if they might,' -Ow such ambiguous giving out, to nyote -That you knyow aught of me- *screams* this ;;w;; is nyot *cuddles you* to do, -So g-gwace and mewcy at youw most n-nyeed hewp you, -*screams* Sweaw. -Ghost. [benyeath] Sweaw. -*sweats* [They sweaw.] -Ham. West, west, pewtuwbed spiwit! S-So, gentwemen, -W-With aww xDD my wove I d-do commend me to you; -And what so poow a man as Hamwet is -May do t' expwess his *cuddles you* wove and fwiending to y-you, -God wiwwing, s-shaww nyot *notices bulge* wack. Wet us go in togethew; -And stiww youw fingews on youw wips, I pway. -T-The xDD time is out of joint. O cuwsed *sighs* spite -That evew *moans* I was bown to set OwO it wight! -Nyay, come, w-wet's go togethew. -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -A-Act >_< II. S-Scenye I. -Ewsinyowe. A woom *cries* in t-the house *looks at you* of Powonyius. - -Entew Powonyius and Weynyawdo. - -Pow. Give him t-this m-monyey uWu and these nyotes, Weynyawdo. -Wey. I wiww, my wowd. -Pow. You s-shaww do mawveww's w-wisewy, good Weynyawdo, -Befowe You visit him, to make inquiwe -Of his UwU behaviouw. -Wey. My wowd, I *blushes* did intend it. -Pow. x3 Mawwy, weww said, vewy weww said. Wook y-you, s-siw, -Enquiwe me :33 fiwst what Danskews awe in xDD Pawis; -A-And how, and who, >_> what means, and whewe they keep, -W-What *giggles shyly* company, a-at what expense; and finding -B-By this encompassment a-and dwift of question -That they do knyow my son, come you *teleports behind you* mowe n-nyeawew -Than youw pawticuwaw demands wiww touch it. -T-Take you, as 'twewe, some distant knyowwedge of him; -As thus, 'I knyow his fathew and his fwiends, -And i-in p-pawt ^w^ him.' Do you mawk this, Weynyawdo? -Wey. Ay, vewy weww, my *blushes* wowd. -P-Pow. 'And in pawt him, but,' you m-may say, 'nyot weww. -But if't be he *hugs tightly* I mean, he's uWu vewy wiwd -Addicted so :3 and *twerks* so'; and thewe put on him -What *shuffles closer* fowgewies you pwease; mawwy, nyonye so wank -A-As may dishonyouw him- take *giggles shyly* heed of that; -But, siw, such wanton, w-wiwd, and usuaw swips -As awe companyions nyoted and *blushes* most k-knyown -To youth and *giggles shyly* wibewty. -Wey. >w< As gaming, m-my wowd. -Pow. Ay, ow dwinking, fencing, sweawing, quawwewwing, -Dwabbing. You may go so f-faw. -Wey. :33 My w-wowd, that wouwd dishonyouw him. -Pow. F-Faith, nyo, as you may season it in the c-chawge. -You must nyot p-put a-anyothew *twerks* scandaw on him, -That he *pokes you* is open to incontinyency. -That's nyot my m-meanying. B-But bweathe his fauwts so quaintwy -That they may seem the >_< taints of >_> wibewty, -The fwash a-and outbweak of a fiewy mind, -A *screams* savagenyess xDD in u-unwecwaimed bwood, -Of genyewaw assauwt. -Wey. B-But, my good wowd- -Pow. Whewefowe shouwd y-you do this? -Wey. Ay, my w-wowd, -I-I wouwd knyow that. -Pow. Mawwy, siw, hewe's my dwift, -And I *twerks* bewieve it is a fetch of wawwant. -*teleports behind you* You *looks away* waying *teleports behind you* these swight *twerks* suwwies on m-my son -As 'twewe a thing a wittwe soiw'd >_< i' th' wowking, -Mawk you, -Youw *teleports behind you* pawty in convewse, him y-you wouwd sound, -Having evew seen *looks at you* in the pwenyominyate cwimes -The youth you *screams* bweathe of guiwty, b-be assuw'd -He cwoses with y-you in this consequence: -'Good :3 siw,' ow so, ow 'fwiend,' UwU ow 'gentweman'- -Accowding to the phwase ow the addition -*pokes you* Of man and countwy- -Wey. Vewy good, my wowd. -P-Pow. And then, siw, does 'a this- 'a d-does- What was *leans over* I about to say? -By the mass, I was *screams* about *cries* to s-say *shuffles closer* something! Whewe did I weave? -Wey. At 'cwoses in the consequence,' at 'fwiend ow *moans* so,' a-and -gentweman.' -Pow. >w< At 'cwoses in the consequence'- Ay, m-mawwy! -He cwoses thus: *sighs* 'I uWu knyow the g-gentweman. -I saw him yestewday, ow t'othew d-day, -O-Ow then, ow t-then, with such ^-^ ow s-such; and, as you say, -Thewe was :3 'a gaming; *pokes you* thewe o'ewtook in's wouse; -Thewe fawwing out at t-tennyis'; *twerks* ow pewchance, -'I saw him entew such :3 a house of sawe,' -Videwicet, a bwothew, ow so fowth. -See you nyow- -Youw bait of fawsehood takes *moans* this cawp of t-twuth; -And t-thus do w-we of *cuddles you* wisdom and o-of weach, -W-With windwasses and with assays of bias, -By i-indiwections find d-diwections out. -So, by my fowmew wectuwe and advice, -S-Shaww you m-my son. You have *hugs tightly* me, *leans over* have you nyot -*leans over* Wey. *pokes you* My wowd, I have. -Pow. God ;;w;; b' wi' ye, fawe ye *screams* weww! -*giggles shyly* Wey. Good UwU my wowd! [Going.] -Pow. Obsewve his incwinyation in youwsewf. -Wey. I shaww, uWu my wowd. -*pokes you* Pow. And wet him pwy ^w^ his music. -Wey. W-Weww, my wowd. -Pow. Faweweww! -Exit *blushes* Weynyawdo. - -E-Entew Ophewia. - -How nyow, *twerks* Ophewia? *moans* What's the mattew? -Oph. O my wowd, my wowd, I have been so affwighted! -Pow. With *twerks* what, i' th' nyame of God I -Oph. My w-wowd, as I was sewing in my cwoset, -Wowd Hamwet, with his doubwet aww unbwac'd, -Nyo hat upon his head, h-his stockings fouw'd, -Ungawt'wed, and down-gyved t-to xDD his ankwe; -Pawe *shuffles closer* as his s-shiwt, his knyees x3 knyocking each othew, -And *cuddles you* with a wook so ^-^ piteous >_> in p-puwpowt -As if *notices bulge* he had been woosed out of heww -UwU To speak o-of howwows- he comes befowe me. -Pow. Mad fow thy wove? -Oph. My wowd, I do nyot knyow, -But twuwy I do feaw it. -Pow. What *sighs* said he? -Oph. ^w^ He took m-me by the wwist and hewd me hawd; -*looks at you* Then goes he to the *teleports behind you* wength >w< of aww his awm, -And, with his othew hand thus o'ew his bwow, -He fawws to such pewusaw of my face -As he w-wouwd dwaw it. Wong stay'd he s-so. -At wast, *pokes you* a wittwe s-shaking of ^.^ minye awm, -And thwice his *giggles shyly* head >_< thus waving u-up and down, -He wais'd a s-sigh so piteous and *moans* pwofound -As it did seem t-to shattew aww >_< his buwk -And end his b-being. *teleports behind you* That donye, he wets me go, -A-And with his head ovew his shouwdew tuwn'd -He seem'd ;;w;; to find ^w^ his way :33 without his e-eyes, -Fow out o' doows he w-went without theiw hewp -And to t-the wast bended theiw wight on me. -Pow. Come, go w-with me. *screams* I w-wiww go s-seek the King. -This is the vewy ecstasy of wove, -*leans over* Whose viowent *notices bulge* pwopewty fowdoes >w< itsewf -And weads the wiww to *teleports behind you* despewate u-undewtakings -As oft as any passion undew heaven -That does affwict ouw nyatuwes. I am >_> sowwy. -What, *twerks* have you given him any hawd wowds of wate? -Oph. Nyo, my good wowd; but, as *teleports behind you* you did c-command, -I did wepew his wettews *sweats* and denyied -His access to me. -Pow. That hath made him mad. -I am sowwy that with b-bettew heed and judgment -^w^ I had nyot quoted him. I *moans* feaw'd *cuddles you* he *looks away* did but twifwe -And meant ^w^ to wwack thee; but beshwew my jeawousy! -By heaven, *looks at you* it is a-as pwopew to ouw >_< age -T-To *sighs* cast *twerks* beyond ouwsewves i-in ouw opinyions -As it i-is *sweats* common fow the youngew sowt -To wack discwetion. Come, go we to *blushes* the King. -This must b-be knyown; which, being kept cwose, might move -*looks at you* Mowe gwief to hide than hate to uttew wove. -Come. -Exeunt. - -Scenye II. -Ewsinyowe. A woom i-in >_< the Castwe. - -Fwouwish. [Entew K-King and Queen, W-Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn, cum >_> awiis. - -King. W-Wewcome, d-deaw Wosencwantz UwU and Guiwdenstewn. -Moweovew that *teleports behind you* we much did wong to see you, -The *sighs* nyeed we have to use y-you did *notices bulge* pwovoke -Ouw h-hasty >w< sending. Something have you h-heawd -Of H-Hamwet's twansfowmation. S-So OwO I caww it, -Sith nyow *teleports behind you* th' extewiow >_> nyow the inwawd man -Wesembwes that i-it w-was. What it shouwd be, -Mowe than his fathew's ^-^ death, that thus hath put h-him -uWu So much fwom th' undewstanding of himsewf, -I cannyot dweam of. I entweat you both -x3 That, *hugs tightly* being of UwU so young c-cways bwought u-up with him, -And since so *looks at you* nyeighbouw'd to his youth and haviouw, -That you >_< vouchsafe youw west hewe in ouw couwt -Some wittwe time; so by *sighs* youw companyies -T-To dwaw h-him on to *cries* pweasuwes, a-and to gathew -So much as *moans* fwom occasion y-you may gwean, -Whethew aught to us unknyown affwicts him thus -*sweats* That, open'd, wies within ouw w-wemedy. -Q-Queen. Good gentwemen, he hath much tawk'd of you, -And suwe I am *cries* two men thewe awe n-nyot wiving -To whom he mowe adhewes. If it wiww p-pwease you -To show u-us so much g-gentwy and good w-wiww -As t-to expend youw time with us awhiwe -Fow the suppwy and pwofit of o-ouw hope, -Youw visitation shaww *sweats* weceive such thanks -As uWu fits a king's wemembwance. -Wos. *sighs* Both youw Majesties -Might, by t-the soveweign powew you have of us, -Put youw dwead *giggles shyly* pweasuwes mowe into c-command -Than to entweaty. ->_> Guiw. *twerks* But we b-both obey, -*screams* And hewe uWu give *sweats* up ouwsewves, in the fuww bent, -To :3 way ouw sewvice fweewy *hugs tightly* at *pokes you* youw feet, -T-To be *moans* commanded. -King. Thanks, Wosencwantz and gentwe Guiwdenstewn. -Queen. *sweats* Thanks, Guiwdenstewn and gentwe *teleports behind you* Wosencwantz. -And I ;;w;; beseech you instantwy to visit -My too *looks at you* much changed son.- G-Go, some of *moans* you, -And bwing *hugs tightly* these gentwemen whewe Hamwet i-is. -Guiw. Heavens make ouw pwesence *hugs tightly* and ouw pwactices -Pweasant and hewpfuw to him! -Queen. Ay, amen! -Exeunt Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn, [with some -Attendants]. - -Entew Powonyius. - -Pow. *twerks* Th' ambassadows fwom Nyowway, my *notices bulge* good wowd, -Awe joyfuwwy wetuwn'd. -King. Thou stiww hast been the fathew of *cuddles you* good nyews. -Pow. Have I, m-my wowd? Assuwe you, my good wiege, ->_< I *sweats* howd my duty as I-I howd my souw, -Both to my God and to my gwacious king; -And I do think- ow ewse this bwain of minye -Hunts nyot the twaiw o-of powicy so *blushes* suwe -As it ^-^ hath uWu us'd to d-do- t-that I have found -The vewy cause o-of Hamwet's wunyacy. -K-King. O, speak of that! That do I wong to heaw. -Pow. Give fiwst a-admittance to th' ambassadows. -M-My n-nyews shaww be *leans over* the fwuit to that gweat feast. -*hugs tightly* King. Thysewf d-do g-gwace to them, and bwing them in. -[Exit Powonyius.] -*cries* He tewws me, my deaw G-Gewtwude, he hath found -The :33 head and souwce uWu of aww youw son's d-distempew. -Queen. I doubt *teleports behind you* it is n-nyo othew but the main, -His fathew's d-death and ouw o-o'ewhasty mawwiage. -King. Weww, we shaww xDD sift him. - -Entew P-Powonyius, *screams* Vowtemand, *screams* and Cownyewius. - -*giggles shyly* Wewcome, m-my good fwiends. -Say, >w< Vowtemand, what f-fwom ouw bwothew Nyowway? -Vowt. Most faiw wetuwn *giggles shyly* of gweetings and *cuddles you* desiwes. -U-Upon ouw fiwst, he sent out to suppwess -His nyephew's wevies; which to him *shuffles closer* appeaw'd -To be uWu a pwepawation 'gainst the Powack, -But ^-^ bettew x3 wook'd i-into, he twuwy found -It was against youw Highnyess; wheweat gwiev'd, -:3 That so h-his sicknyess, age, and i-impotence -W-Was fawsewy bownye in hand, sends *cuddles you* out a-awwests -On Fowtinbwas; which he, in bwief, obeys, -Weceives webuke f-fwom Nyowway, and, in finye, -*teleports behind you* Makes vow befowe his uncwe nyevew mowe -*notices bulge* To give :3 th' *hugs tightly* assay of awms against >_> youw Majesty. -Wheweon owd Nyowway, ovewcome with joy, -Gives *sighs* him thwee thousand cwowns i-in *notices bulge* annyuaw fee -And >_> his commission to empwoy those sowdiews, -*giggles shyly* So wevied as befowe, against the Powack; -With an entweaty, hewein fuwthew shown, -[-[Gives *twerks* a papew.] -That it might pwease you xDD to give quiet *pokes you* pass -T-Thwough youw dominyions f-fow this entewpwise, -On s-such wegawds of safety a-and awwowance -As thewein awe s-set down. -King. It wikes us weww; -And at ouw mowe considew'd time we'ww wead, -A-Answew, and think upon this businyess. -Meantime we thank you fow youw weww-took >w< wabouw. -Go to youw west; a-at n-nyight we'ww feast togethew. -Most wewcome h-home! Exeunt Ambassadows. -P-Pow. *looks away* This businyess is w-weww *hugs tightly* ended. -My w-wiege, >w< and madam, t-to expostuwate -What majesty shouwd be, what duty is, -:3 Why day is ;;w;; day, nyight is nyight, and time is *shuffles closer* time. -Wewe nyothing but to waste nyight, *looks at you* day, and time. -Thewefowe, since bwevity is the souw of wit, -And tediousnyess t-the wimbs and outwawd fwouwishes, -I wiww be bwief. Youw nyobwe son *cuddles you* is *notices bulge* mad. -*sighs* Mad c-caww I it; fow, to definye twue madnyess, -What is't but to be nyothing ewse but mad? ->w< But wet that go. -Queen. Mowe x3 mattew, with w-wess awt. -Pow. M-Madam, I sweaw *cuddles you* I use nyo awt a-at aww. -That *giggles shyly* he is mad, 'tis twue: 'tis twue 'tis pity; -And pity 'tis 'tis twue. A foowish figuwe! -*cuddles you* But *pokes you* faweweww it, *notices bulge* fow *twerks* I wiww use xDD nyo awt. -*cries* Mad wet us gwant him then. *screams* And nyow wemains -That we *cries* find out *shuffles closer* the cause of t-this *leans over* effect- -Ow wathew say, the cause of this defect, -Fow t-this effect d-defective comes *cuddles you* by cause. -Thus it wemains, and the *hugs tightly* wemaindew thus. -Pewpend. -I have a daughtew (have whiwe she i-is *notices bulge* minye), -*moans* Who i-in hew duty and obedience, mawk, -H-Hath given me t-this. Nyow gathew, and suwmise. -[-[Weads] the wettew. -'To the cewestiaw, and my souw's idow, the most beautified -Ophewia,'- - -That's an iww *shuffles closer* phwase, a viwe phwase; 'beautified' is >w< a viwe -phwase. -But you shaww heaw. Thus: -[Weads.] -'In hew excewwent w-white bosom, these, &c.' -^.^ Queen. Came this f-fwom *leans over* Hamwet to hew? -Pow. Good *pokes you* madam, stay ^w^ awhiwe. I wiww be faithfuw. [Weads.] - -'Doubt thou the *hugs tightly* staws awe fiwe; -Doubt t-that the sun doth move; -D-Doubt twuth to be a wiaw; -But nyevew doubt I w-wove. -*looks away* 'O deaw O-Ophewia, UwU I am iww at these nyumbews; I have nyot awt to -weckon my gwoans; but t-that I :33 wove thee b-best, O most best, bewieve -it. Adieu. -'Thinye evewmowe, most deaw wady, w-whiwst this *twerks* machinye is to >_> him, -HAMWET.' - -This, in obedience, hath my daughtew shown me; -And *sighs* mowe above, *cuddles you* hath his sowicitings, -A-As t-they *twerks* feww out by time, by means, and pwace, -*looks away* Aww given to minye eaw. -King. But how hath she -Weceiv'd :33 his wove? -Pow. What do you think of me? -King. As o-of a man faithfuw and *screams* honyouwabwe. -Pow. I wouwd fain pwove so. But w-what might you think, -When I had seen this hot wove on the wing -(As I pewceiv'd UwU it, I-I must t-teww you t-that, -Befowe my daughtew towd me), what *blushes* might y-you, -Ow my deaw Majesty youw *looks away* queen hewe, think, -If I had pway'd the desk ow tabwe *teleports behind you* book, -O-Ow given my heawt a *leans over* winking, mute and dumb, -*teleports behind you* Ow wook'd upon this wove w-with :3 idwe s-sight? -What might you *twerks* think? N-Nyo, I went wound to *looks away* wowk -uWu And my young ^.^ mistwess thus I did bespeak: -'Wowd Hamwet is a-a pwince, out of thy staw. -T-This must xDD nyot be.' And then I p-pwescwipts gave hew, -That she shouwd wock hewsewf fwom *screams* his wesowt, -*teleports behind you* Admit *screams* nyo messengews, w-weceive nyo tokens. -Which donye, she took the fwuits of my advice, -And *leans over* he, wepuwsed, a *notices bulge* showt tawe to make, -Feww i-into *hugs tightly* a sadnyess, then >_< into a fast, -T-Thence to *shuffles closer* a watch, >_> thence i-into a-a *sweats* weaknyess, -Thence t-to a wightnyess, and, by t-this decwension, -Into the ^w^ madnyess uWu whewein n-nyow he waves, -And aww we mouwn fow. -King. Do y-you think 'tis this? -*sighs* Queen. :33 it may be, vewy wike. -Pow. Hath thewe been s-such a time- I wouwd fain k-knyow that- -That I have :3 Positivewy said *notices bulge* ''Tis so,' -When it ^w^ pwov'd othewwise.? -*blushes* King. Nyot ^.^ that I k-knyow. -Pow. [points t-to his head and shouwdew] T-Take this fwom this, *looks at you* if this -uWu be othewwise. -If ciwcumstances w-wead *leans over* me, I wiww find -Whewe t-twuth is hid, though it wewe hid i-indeed -Within the centwe. -King. How may we twy it >_> fuwthew? -Pow. Y-You knyow sometimes he wawks fouw h-houws t-togethew -Hewe in the wobby. -Q-Queen. So he does i-indeed. -Pow. At *teleports behind you* such a time I'ww woose *sweats* my daughtew to him. -B-Be y-you and I behind an a-awwas then. -*cries* Mawk the encountew. If he wove hew nyot, -And he nyot fwom his weason faww'n theweon -Wet *leans over* me be nyo assistant *screams* fow a *shuffles closer* state, -But keep a fawm and cawtews. -King. We wiww twy i-it. - -*twerks* Entew Hamwet, weading on a-a *screams* book. - -Queen. B-But wook whewe sadwy the poow wwetch comes *shuffles closer* weading. -*sighs* Pow. Away, I ^-^ do b-beseech you, *teleports behind you* both away -I'ww boawd h-him pwesentwy. :33 O, give me weave. -Exeunt King and *looks at you* Queen, *looks away* [with Attendants]. -How *twerks* does *twerks* my good Wowd Hamwet? -Ham. Weww, God-a-mewcy. -Pow. Do you knyow me, my wowd? -Ham. Excewwent weww. x3 You awe a fishmongew. -Pow. Nyot I, my wowd. -xDD Ham. Then I *leans over* wouwd you wewe so honyest a man. -Pow. Honyest, my w-wowd? -Ham. Ay, s-siw. To be ^w^ honyest, as this wowwd goes, is to be onye m-man -pick'd out of ten thousand. -OwO Pow. That's v-vewy twue, *giggles shyly* my wowd. -Ham. Fow if the sun bweed *looks away* maggots in a dead dog, being *teleports behind you* a god -k-kissing cawwion- Have y-you a daughtew? -*cuddles you* Pow. *cries* I have, my wowd. -Ham. Wet hew nyot wawk i' t-th' s-sun. Conception is UwU a b-bwessing, but nyot -as youw d-daughtew m-may conceive. Fwiend, wook *screams* to't. -Pow. [-[aside] H-How say you by t-that? >_> Stiww hawping on >_> my daughtew. Yet -h-he knyew me nyot a-at fiwst. He said I :33 was a *cries* fishmongew. He is *teleports behind you* faw -gonye, faw gonye! And twuwy in my *cries* youth >w< I *sighs* suff'wed much *teleports behind you* extwemity -OwO fow wove- vewy n-nyeaw *giggles shyly* this. I'ww speak to him >_< again.- W-What do y-you -wead, my wowd? -Ham. ^w^ Wowds, wowds, wowds. -Pow. What *hugs tightly* is the mattew, my wowd? -Ham. B-Between w-who? -^.^ Pow. I *twerks* mean, the mattew that you wead, my wowd. -*cries* Ham. *cries* Swandews, siw; fow xDD the satiwicaw wogue says hewe that owd men -have gwey beawds; t-that theiw faces awe w-wwinkwed; theiw e-eyes -puwging thick ambew and pwum-twee gum; and that they have a -*sweats* pwentifuw *teleports behind you* wack of wit, togethew with *teleports behind you* most weak hams. Aww which, -siw, though I-I most powewfuwwy and potentwy bewieve, yet *giggles shyly* I howd it -nyot honyesty to have it thus s-set down; *twerks* fow you youwsewf, siw, -shouwd be *shuffles closer* owd as I am if, w-wike a-a cwab, you couwd go backwawd. -Pow. [-[aside] Though this b-be madnyess, yet thewe i-is a method in't.- -Wiww You wawk out of the aiw, m-my wowd? -Ham. Into my gwave? -P-Pow. Indeed, that is o-out o' th' aiw. [-[Aside] uWu How pwegnyant sometimes -his wepwies awe! a happinyess that often *notices bulge* madnyess hits on, which -w-weason and sanyity c-couwd nyot so pwospewouswy be dewivewed of. I-I -*notices bulge* wiww weave him and suddenwy contwive the m-means of meeting between -him and my daughtew.- My :3 honyouwabwe w-wowd, I wiww ^.^ most humbwy take -my w-weave of you. -Ham. You cannyot, siw, take fwom me anything that I wiww >w< mowe -wiwwingwy pawt withaw- except my wife, except my wife, e-except my -wife, - -E-Entew Wosencwantz a-and Guiwdenstewn. - -Pow. Fawe y-you weww, my wowd. -Ham. These tedious owd foows! -P-Pow. You g-go to seek the *notices bulge* Wowd H-Hamwet. Thewe he is. -Wos. [to *looks at you* Powonyius] *shuffles closer* God save y-you, siw! -Exit [Powonyius]. -Guiw. My honyouw'd wowd! -W-Wos. My most deaw wowd! -Ham. My *hugs tightly* excewwent good fwiends! *twerks* How d-dost *notices bulge* thou, Guiwdenstewn? Ah, -*screams* Wosencwantz! *twerks* Good *cries* wads, h-how do ye both? -Wos. As the indiffewent chiwdwen of the ^-^ eawth. -Guiw. H-Happy in that we awe nyot o-ovew-happy. -On Fowtunye's cap *looks at you* we *blushes* awe :3 nyot the vewy button. -Ham. Nyow the sowes of hew shoe? -Wos. Nyeithew, *pokes you* my wowd. -Ham. Then you wive about hew w-waist, ow in the ^-^ middwe of hew -favouws? -Guiw. Faith, hew pwivates we. -Ham. In the secwet pawts o-of Fowtunye? O! most twue! s-she is a -stwumpet. *looks away* What ;;w;; nyews ? -Wos. *sighs* Nyonye, my wowd, but *cries* that OwO the *notices bulge* wowwd's gwown honyest. -Ham. Then *looks away* is doomsday nyeaw! But youw nyews is nyot twue. Wet :33 me -question mowe in p-pawticuwaw. What have y-you, my good fwiends, -desewved at the hands o-of F-Fowtunye t-that she sends you to pwison -hithew? -x3 Guiw. Pwison, my w-wowd? -Ham. Denmawk's a pwison. -^w^ Wos. Then is the wowwd onye. -Ham. A goodwy onye; in which thewe a-awe *looks away* many confinyes, ^w^ wawds, and -dungeons, Denmawk being *looks at you* onye o' th' wowst. -Wos. We think nyot so, my wowd. -Ham. Why, then 'tis nyonye to you; fow thewe is *twerks* nyothing eithew good -ow b-bad but *moans* thinking m-makes xDD it so. To m-me it uWu is a OwO pwison. -Wos. Why, *giggles shyly* then youw ambition m-makes *cries* it onye. 'Tis too nyawwow fow youw -m-mind. -Ham. O God, I ^w^ couwd be bounded in a n-nyutsheww and count mysewf a -king of infinyite space, wewe OwO it nyot that I have bad dweams. -Guiw. W-Which dweams i-indeed awe ambition; f-fow the vewy substance :33 of -the >_< ambitious is mewewy the shadow of a dweam. -Ham. A dweam itsewf is but a shadow. -Wos. Twuwy, and I howd ambition of so aiwy and wight a quawity x3 that -it is but a shadow's s-shadow. -H-Ham. Then awe ouw beggaws bodies, and :3 ouw *screams* monyawchs and outstwetch'd -hewoes the beggaws' shadows. S-Shaww we to th' couwt? fow, by *blushes* my -fay, I cannyot weason. -Both. W-We'ww wait upon you. -*hugs tightly* Ham. Nyo such mattew! *looks away* I wiww nyot sowt you *teleports behind you* with the west of m-my -sewvants; f-fow, to speak to you wike *hugs tightly* an h-honyest man, I-I am most -*shuffles closer* dweadfuwwy attended. But in the ;;w;; beaten way of fwiendship, what -*looks at you* make y-you a-at UwU Ewsinyowe? -Wos. To v-visit you, my wowd; nyo othew o-occasion. -Ham. Beggaw that I *moans* am, I am even ^.^ poow i-in thanks; but I thank ^w^ you; -and *cries* suwe, deaw fwiends, my thanks awe too d-deaw *twerks* a hawfpenny. *cuddles you* Wewe -you nyot sent x3 fow? I-Is it youw o-own x3 incwinying? Is it a fwee -visitation? Come, ;;w;; deaw *looks at you* justwy with me. Come, come! N-Nyay, speak. -Guiw. *twerks* What shouwd we :33 say, my wowd? -:33 Ham. Why, anything- but to :3 th' puwpose. Y-You wewe sent fow; and -thewe is *looks at you* a kind of confession in youw wooks, which youw modesties -have nyot cwaft enyough to cowouw. I *notices bulge* knyow t-the good King and Queen -have sent fow uWu you. -Wos. To *moans* what end, my wowd? -Ham. T-That you must teach me. *leans over* But wet me conjuwe you *twerks* by the wights -o-of ouw fewwowship, b-by the consonyancy o-of ouw youth, by the -obwigation >_> of ouw e-evew-pwesewved wove, and by what mowe *cuddles you* deaw a -bettew pwoposew couwd chawge you withaw, be even and diwect with -me, whethew you wewe sent f-fow ow nyo. -Wos. [-[aside to *sweats* Guiwdenstewn] W-What say you? -Ham. [aside] Nyay then, I have a-an eye o-of you.- I-If you wove me, h-howd -*cuddles you* nyot off. -Guiw. My w-wowd, we wewe sent fow. -*cuddles you* Ham. I w-wiww *looks away* teww you why. So ^.^ shaww my a-anticipation pwevent youw -discovewy, and youw secwecy to the King and Queen m-mouwt nyo -feathew. I *looks away* have of *looks away* wate- but whewefowe I knyow *teleports behind you* nyot- wost aww my -miwth, fowgonye a-aww custom of exewcises; and indeed, it goes so -heaviwy with my disposition t-that this goodwy *teleports behind you* fwame, the *notices bulge* eawth, -seems to me a stewiwe pwomontowy; this most excewwent canyopy, the -*sighs* aiw, wook y-you, t-this bwave o'ewhanging fiwmament, this m-majesticaw -woof fwetted with gowden fiwe- why, it appeaweth nyo othew thing -to me t-than a fouw and pestiwent *looks at you* congwegation of vapouws. What a -piece of wowk is a man! how *sighs* nyobwe i-in w-weason! how i-infinyite in -f-facuwties! in *looks away* fowm and >w< moving how expwess and a-admiwabwe! in -action how :33 wike an angew! in appwehension *hugs tightly* how wike a g-god! the -beauty of the wowwd, the p-pawagon of anyimaws! *cries* And yet to me what -is this quintessence of dust? Man dewights nyot me- nyo, nyow woman -nyeithew, *twerks* though b-by youw smiwing xDD you seem to say so. -Wos. My wowd, thewe was nyo s-such stuff in my thoughts. -*sighs* Ham. Why did you *teleports behind you* waugh t-then, when I said 'Man >_< dewights *moans* nyot me'? -Wos. To think, my :33 wowd, if y-you dewight n-nyot in man, what wenten -entewtainment the pwayews shaww weceive fwom you. We c-coted them -*pokes you* on the way, and hithew awe they coming to offew y-you s-sewvice. -Ham. He that pways the king shaww be *sweats* wewcome- his Majesty shaww -have twibute of m-me; *cuddles you* the *notices bulge* adventuwous >_< knyight shaww use his foiw >_> and -:3 tawget; t-the wovew shaww nyot sigh g-gwatis; the h-humowous man shaww -end his pawt *pokes you* in peace; the cwown shaww make those w-waugh whose -wungs awe *shuffles closer* tickwe o' th' *pokes you* sewe; and the *blushes* wady s-shaww say hew mind -fweewy, ow the bwank vewse *sighs* shaww hawt x3 fowt. *hugs tightly* What *moans* pwayews awe -they? -Wos. Even those you wewe w-wont to take such dewight in, the -twagedians of the city. -*leans over* Ham. How chances it they twavew? *cuddles you* Theiw :3 wesidence, *notices bulge* both in -weputation and pwofit, was bettew both ways. ->_< Wos. I think theiw i-inhibition comes by the means of the wate -innyovation. -Ham. Do they howd the same xDD estimation they did when I was in >_> the -city? Awe they so fowwow'd? -W-Wos. Nyo indeed awe they nyot. -H-Ham. How comes it? Do they gwow wusty? -:33 Wos. Nyay, >w< theiw endeavouw keeps ^.^ in the wonted pace; but thewe is, -siw, an eywie of chiwdwen, wittwe eyases, that uWu cwy out on the top -of question a-and awe *cries* most tywannyicawwy cwapp'd fowt. These awe nyow -the xDD fashion, and *giggles shyly* so bewattwe the common stages (so they caww -them) that many weawing wapiews awe a-afwaid *cuddles you* of *sweats* goosequiwws and -d-dawe s-scawce come thithew. -Ham. What, a-awe they chiwdwen? W-Who m-maintains 'em? How a-awe they -escoted? :3 Wiww *looks away* they puwsue the q-quawity nyo wongew than they can -sing? W-Wiww they nyot say aftewwawds, if *blushes* they shouwd gwow -themsewves to common pwayews (-(as *shuffles closer* it is most >w< wike, if OwO theiw means -awe n-nyo x3 bettew), theiw wwitews do them wwong to make them excwaim -against theiw own succession. -Wos. Faith, thewe has been much t-to do on *blushes* both *moans* sides; and the nyation -h-howds it nyo sin to tawwe them to c-contwovewsy. T-Thewe was, fow a -whiwe, nyo *blushes* monyey bid fow awgument u-unwess the p-poet and the pwayew -went to cuffs *teleports behind you* in the question. -Ham. Is't *blushes* possibwe? -Guiw. O, ^.^ thewe has been much OwO thwowing uWu about of bwains. -H-Ham. *sighs* Do *looks at you* the boys cawwy it away? -Wos. Ay, that *moans* they do, my w-wowd- Hewcuwes and his woad too. -*blushes* Ham. It OwO is nyot *pokes you* vewy stwange; *sweats* fow my uncwe is King o-of D-Denmawk, and -those that ;;w;; wouwd m-make mows at him whiwe my fathew wived give -twenty, fowty, f-fifty, a hundwed ducats apiece fow his pictuwe i-in -wittwe. 'Sbwood, thewe is something in this :33 mowe t-than nyatuwaw, if -phiwosophy c-couwd f-find it out. - -Fwouwish fow the Pwayews. - -*looks away* Guiw. *blushes* Thewe awe the pwayews. -Ham. G-Gentwemen, you awe ^.^ wewcome to Ewsinyowe. *shuffles closer* Youw hands, come! Th' -appuwtenyance of wewcome *cries* is uWu fashion a-and cewemony. Wet me compwy -:3 with y-you in this gawb, west my extent to the pwayews (which I -*notices bulge* teww y-you must show faiwwy outwawds) *cries* shouwd mowe appeaw wike -e-entewtainment than *cuddles you* youws. You awe wewcome. But my u-uncwe-fathew -*hugs tightly* and aunt-mothew a-awe deceiv'd. -Guiw. In *shuffles closer* what, ^.^ my deaw wowd? -Ham. I am *teleports behind you* but mad nyowth-nyowth-west. W-When OwO the wind i-is *looks at you* southewwy I -knyow a hawk fwom a handsaw. - -:33 Entew ^-^ Powonyius. - -Pow. Weww be with you, gentwemen! -Ham. Hawk *screams* you, Guiwdenstewn- and you too- at each eaw a heawew! -That gweat baby you ^.^ see thewe is n-nyot yet *moans* out o-of h-his swaddwing -cwouts. -*cuddles you* Wos. Happiwy he's the second time come *sweats* to them; fow *teleports behind you* they say an owd -man is twice a chiwd. -*hugs tightly* Ham. I wiww pwophesy he comes to teww me of *blushes* the pwayews. Mawk i-it.- -You say w-wight, siw; a M-Monday mownying; twas so i-indeed. -Pow. My wowd, ^-^ I UwU have nyews t-to t-teww you. -*sweats* Ham. My wowd, I-I *notices bulge* have nyews to teww *notices bulge* you. When Woscius was an actow in -Wome- -Pow. The actows *blushes* awe come hithew, my wowd. -Ham. Buzz, b-buzz! -Pow. Upon my *pokes you* honyouw- -Ham. Then came each actow o-on his ass- -Pow. *hugs tightly* The best actows in the wowwd, e-eithew fow twagedy, comedy, -histowy, p-pastowaw, pastowaw-comicaw, histowicaw-pastowaw, -twagicaw-histowicaw, twagicaw-comicaw-histowicaw-pastowaw; scenye -individabwe, ow poem unwimited. Senyeca cannyot b-be too heavy, nyow -Pwautus too *sighs* wight. Fow the waw :33 of wwit a-and the wibewty, *notices bulge* these awe -the ^-^ onwy m-men. -Ham. *twerks* O J-Jephthah, *giggles shyly* judge of Iswaew, what a tweasuwe hadst thou! -Pow. What tweasuwe had *teleports behind you* he, my w-wowd? -Ham. W-Why, - -'Onye faiw d-daughtew, *sweats* and nyo mowe, -The which *cries* he woved p-passing weww.' - -Pow. [aside] S-Stiww o-on my daughtew. -xDD Ham. Am I nyot i' th' wight, owd *twerks* Jephthah? -Pow. If y-you *teleports behind you* caww m-me Jephthah, *giggles shyly* my wowd, *sweats* I have a daughtew that I -wove passing weww. -Ham. *moans* Nyay, *sighs* that fowwows nyot. -Pow. xDD What fowwows t-then, my wowd? -H-Ham. Why, - -'As b-by wot, God *teleports behind you* wot,' - -and t-then, you k-knyow, - -'It came to *moans* pass, as most wike it was.' - -The fiwst w-wow of t-the p-pious chanson wiww uWu show *giggles shyly* you mowe; fow wook -w-whewe my abwidgment comes. - -Entew fouw ow five Pwayews. - -You x3 awe wewcome, mastews; wewcome, aww.- I am gwad :33 to see *sweats* thee -weww.- Wewcome, good fwiends.- O, *cuddles you* my owd fwiend? Why, thy face i-is -vawanc'd s-since *giggles shyly* I s-saw thee w-wast. *pokes you* Com'st' thou to' *cuddles you* beawd me in -Denmawk?- ^.^ What, my UwU young wady and mistwess? By'w Wady, youw -wadyship is nyeawew to heaven than *screams* when I ^w^ saw you wast b-by the -awtitude of a chopinye. Pway *hugs tightly* God *hugs tightly* youw v-voice, wike a-a piece of -uncuwwent gowd, be nyot cwack'd within the w-wing.- M-Mastews, you awe -^-^ aww wewcome. We'ww e'en to't w-wike F-Fwench *giggles shyly* fawconyews, fwy at -anything we ^w^ see. We'ww have a speech stwaight. Come, g-give us a -taste of youw quawity. C-Come, a passionyate s-speech. -:3 1. Pway. What speech, my good >_> wowd? -Ham. I heawd thee s-speak me a speech once, but it was nyevew acted; -ow ^-^ if it was, nyot above *blushes* once; fow the pway, I *notices bulge* wemembew, *pokes you* pweas'd -nyot the miwwion, 'twas caviawy to *sweats* the g-genyewaw; but it was (-(as I -weceiv'd it, and othews, *pokes you* whose judgments in such mattews UwU cwied in -the top o-of minye) an x3 excewwent pway, *notices bulge* weww digested in the scenyes, -set down *pokes you* with a-as much modesty as cunnying. I-I wemembew onye uWu said -thewe wewe nyo s-sawwets in the winyes to m-make the mattew savouwy, -nyow nyo mattew in the phwase that might indict t-the authow ^w^ of -affectation; but caww'd it an honyest method, as whowesome as -sweet, a-and by vewy much mowe handsome than :33 finye. Onye s-speech in't -I chiefwy wov'd. 'Twas AEnyeas' tawe to OwO Dido, and theweabout o-of it -especiawwy whewe he speaks o-of *shuffles closer* Pwiam's swaughtew. If it wive in -youw memowy, *twerks* begin at *giggles shyly* this winye- wet *notices bulge* me see, wet *notices bulge* me see: - -'The wugged Pywwhus, *shuffles closer* wike th' Hywcanyian *sighs* beast-' - -'Tis nyot so; it begins with Pywwhus: - -*cries* 'The wugged Pywwhus, he w-whose s-sabwe awms, -Bwack a-as his puwpose, did *looks away* the nyight wesembwe -When he way c-couched in the ominyous howse, -*giggles shyly* Hath nyow *pokes you* this d-dwead and bwack compwexion smeaw'd -With hewawdwy mowe dismaw. Head to foot -*cuddles you* Nyow is be *sweats* totaw guwes, :33 howwidwy twick'd -W-With bwood *moans* of fathews, mothews, daughtews, sons, -B-Bak'd *shuffles closer* and impasted with the pawching stweets, -T-That wend a tywannyous and *leans over* a damnyed wight -To theiw w-wowd's muwthew. >_< Woasted in wwath and ^w^ fiwe, -And thus o'ewsized with coaguwate gowe, -With eyes wike cawbuncwes, the hewwish Pywwhus -Owd gwandsiwe P-Pwiam seeks.' - -So, pwoceed *shuffles closer* you. -Pow. *looks away* Fowe God, my wowd, weww s-spoken, with *screams* good accent and *notices bulge* good -*giggles shyly* discwetion. - -1-1. Pway. 'Anyon *giggles shyly* he finds him, -Stwiking too >_> showt at Gweeks. H-His antique swowd, -Webewwious to his awm, wies whewe UwU it fawws, -Wepugnyant t-to command. Unyequaw match'd, -Pywwhus at Pwiam dwives, in wage stwikes w-wide; -But *hugs tightly* with the whiff and wind of uWu his feww swowd -Th' unnyewved fathew fawws. Then sensewess Iwium, -Seeming to feew *pokes you* this b-bwow, with fwaming top -S-Stoops to his base, and with a-a h-hideous cwash -Takes pwisonyew Pywwhus' eaw. uWu Fow w-wo! his swowd, -Which was decwinying on the *teleports behind you* miwky *shuffles closer* head -Of w-wevewend Pwiam, seem'd i' th' aiw to stick. -S-So, as a-a painted tywant, Pywwhus stood, -And, wike a nyeutwaw to his wiww and mattew, -Did n-nyothing. -But, as we often *looks away* see, against some s-stowm, -A s-siwence in the heavens, t-the ^w^ wack stand stiww, -The bowd winds s-speechwess, a-and the UwU owb bewow -As hush as death- anyon t-the dweadfuw thundew -Doth w-wend the wegion; so, aftew Pywwhus' pause, -*screams* Awoused v-vengeance sets :3 him nyew awowk; -And ^.^ nyevew did the Cycwops' hammews faww -On Maws's awmouw, fowg'd fow pwoof etewnye, -uWu With wess w-wemowse than Pywwhus' bweeding swowd -Nyow fawws on Pwiam. -Out, out, thou stwumpet Fowtunye! A-Aww you *screams* gods, -In *leans over* genyewaw synyod :3 take away hew powew; -*shuffles closer* Bweak aww the spokes and fewwies fwom hew wheew, -And boww the wound nyave down the hiww o-of heaven, -*looks away* As w-wow as to the fiends! - -Pow. This is too wong. -Ham. :3 It shaww :3 to the bawbew's, with youw beawd.- Pwithee *sighs* say on. -He's fow *sighs* a jig ow a-a tawe of bawdwy, o-ow he sweeps. Say o-on; uWu come to -Hecuba. - -1. Pway. '-'But who, *notices bulge* O *looks at you* who, had seen the mobwed *sweats* queen-' - -H-Ham. 'The mobwed queen'? -Pow. That's g-good! 'Mobwed queen' is good. - -1. Pway. 'Wun bawefoot up and ;;w;; down, thweat'nying the fwames -With bisson wheum; *hugs tightly* a cwout upon that head -Whewe wate the d-diadem stood, and fow a-a wobe, -About hew wank a-and *cuddles you* aww o'ewteemed woins, -A b-bwanket, *leans over* in t-the awawm of feaw caught up- -Who *sweats* this had seen, with tongue :3 in *hugs tightly* venyom steep'd -'Gainst *looks away* Fowtunye's state :3 wouwd tweason have pwonyounc'd. -But if the gods themsewves *sweats* did see hew then, -When she *giggles shyly* saw Pywwhus make mawicious spowt -In Mincing w-with his swowd hew husband's wimbs, -T-The instant buwst o-of cwamouw that she made -^w^ (Unwess things *moans* mowtaw move them nyot at aww) -*cries* Wouwd have *notices bulge* made *looks away* miwch the buwnying eyes ;;w;; of heaven -:3 And passion in the gods.' - -P-Pow. Wook, w-whe'w he has nyot tuwn'd his cowouw, a-and has teaws i-in's -eyes. Pwithee nyo mowe! -Ham. 'Tis weww. I'ww have thee speak out the >_> west of this soon.- -Good my wowd, wiww y-you s-see the p-pwayews weww *teleports behind you* bestow'd? D-Do you -heaw? W-Wet them be weww u-us'd; fow *blushes* they awe t-the abstwact and ^.^ bwief -chwonyicwes of the t-time. Aftew youw death y-you wewe ^w^ bettew have a ->w< bad e-epitaph than theiw iww wepowt whiwe you wive. -Pow. My wowd, *teleports behind you* I wiww use them accowding :3 to theiw desewt. -Ham. God's bodykins, man, x3 much bettew! Use evewy man aftew his ->w< desewt, and who shouwd scape whipping? ^w^ Use them a-aftew *cries* youw own -honyouw and dignyity. UwU The w-wess they desewve, the mowe mewit is in -youw bounty. Take OwO them UwU in. -Pow. *moans* Come, ;;w;; siws. -Ham. F-Fowwow him, fwiends. We'ww *blushes* heaw a pway :3 to-mowwow. -Exeunt Powonyius and Pwayews [except t-the Fiwst]. -D-Dost thou heaw me, owd fwiend? C-Can you x3 pway 'The >_< Muwthew of -Gonzago'? -1. Pway. A-Ay, my wowd. -Ham. xDD We'ww ha't to-mowwow nyight. You couwd, UwU fow a nyeed, ^.^ study a -UwU speech of some dozen ow *cries* sixteen winyes which I-I wouwd set down and -insewt in't, *sighs* couwd y-you nyot? -1. Pway. Ay, my wowd. -H-Ham. uWu Vewy weww. Fowwow that *notices bulge* wowd- and wook you mock him nyot. -[Exit Fiwst Pwayew.] -My good fwiends, I'ww weave you tiww nyight. You awe *giggles shyly* wewcome to -Ewsinyowe. -W-Wos. Good my wowd! -Ham. Ay, so, God ^w^ b' wi' y-ye! -[Exeunt Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn -Nyow I am awonye. -O what a wogue a-and p-peasant swave am I! -Is it nyot monstwous that this pwayew hewe, -But in a fiction, in a dweam *teleports behind you* of passion, -Couwd fowce x3 his souw so to his own conceit -That, fwom hew wowking, a-aww his visage wann'd, -Teaws in h-his e-eyes, distwaction i-in's aspect, -A-A bwoken *hugs tightly* voice, and his w-whowe f-function s-suiting -With fowms to *twerks* his conceit? And aww fow nyothing! -Fow Hecuba! -*pokes you* What's Hecuba to him, ow he to Hecuba, -That he shouwd weep fow hew? What *blushes* wouwd he do, -Had he the motive and :33 the cue fow passion -*looks at you* That *screams* I have? He wouwd dwown the stage with *sweats* teaws -And c-cweave the genyewaw eaw with howwid *shuffles closer* speech; -Make mad the guiwty and appaw t-the fwee, -Confound the ignyowant, and *twerks* amaze OwO indeed -The ^.^ vewy facuwties o-of eyes and eaws. -Yet *hugs tightly* I, -A *giggles shyly* duww and muddy-mettwed wascaw, p-peak -Wike John-a-dweams, u-unpwegnyant ^w^ of my cause, -And c-can say nyothing! Nyo, nyot fow a king, -Upon whose pwopewty and :3 most *sweats* deaw uWu wife -*giggles shyly* A damn'd defeat was >_< made. *pokes you* Am I a cowawd? -Who c-cawws me viwwain? bweaks my pate acwoss? -*screams* Pwucks off my b-beawd *giggles shyly* and *blushes* bwows i-it in uWu my face? -Tweaks :33 me by th' nyose? gives *sighs* me the wie i' th' t-thwoat -As deep as to the wungs? Who does me this, ha? -'Swounds, I ^w^ shouwd take it! fow it cannyot be -But I *giggles shyly* am pigeon-wivew'd and wack gaww -To make oppwession b-bittew, ow ewe this -I shouwd have fatted aww the wegion *looks away* kites -With this swave's offaw. Bwoody bawdy UwU viwwain! -Wemowsewess, *screams* tweachewous, w-wechewous, kindwess viwwain! -x3 O, vengeance! -W-Why, what an ass am I! *teleports behind you* This is most bwave, -That I, the son *sweats* of *blushes* a deaw fathew muwthew'd, -Pwompted *pokes you* to *twerks* my wevenge by heaven a-and heww, -Must (wike >w< a whowe) unpack my heawt with wowds -And f-faww a-a-cuwsing wike *leans over* a *cries* vewy >_< dwab, -A scuwwion! -*screams* Fie upon't! foh! *looks at you* About, my bwain! Hum, I have heawd -That g-guiwty cweatuwes, sitting a-at a pway, -Have by the vewy c-cunnying of t-the scenye -Been stwuck so to the souw that pwesentwy -They have pwocwaim'd theiw mawefactions; -*sweats* Fow muwthew, *giggles shyly* though it *screams* have nyo tongue, wiww speak -With most miwacuwous owgan, I'ww have *hugs tightly* these Pwayews -Pway something wike the muwthew of m-my fathew -B-Befowe m-minye uncwe. I-I'ww obsewve his wooks; -I'ww tent *screams* him to the quick. I-If he but bwench, -I knyow my couwse. The spiwit that I have seen -May be a deviw; a-and the deviw hath powew -T' assume a pweasing shape; yea, and pewhaps -*shuffles closer* Out *cuddles you* of my weaknyess a-and my OwO mewanchowy, -As ^-^ he is vewy potent w-with *looks at you* such spiwits, -Abuses me to damn *looks away* me. I'ww have gwounds -*hugs tightly* Mowe wewative than this. The pway's the thing -Whewein I-I'ww catch t-the *teleports behind you* conscience of the King. E-Exit. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. Scenye I. -Ewsinyowe. A woom in the Castwe. - -Entew King, Q-Queen, Powonyius, Ophewia, Wosencwantz, *pokes you* Guiwdenstewn, *looks away* and Wowds. - -K-King. And can you by nyo dwift of ciwcumstance -Get xDD fwom him *sighs* why h-he puts o-on this confusion, -Gwating *screams* so h-hawshwy aww his days of quiet -With t-tuwbuwent and d-dangewous x3 wunyacy? -Wos. He does confess he ^w^ feews himsewf distwacted, -But fwom w-what cause *pokes you* he w-wiww b-by nyo means speak. -Guiw. Nyow do *moans* we find him fowwawd t-to be *blushes* sounded, -But ;;w;; with a cwafty madnyess keeps awoof -When we *screams* wouwd bwing him on to some *pokes you* confession -Of his twue state. -Queen. D-Did he weceive you weww? -Wos. Most wike a gentweman. -Guiw. But with much f-fowcing *sweats* of h-his disposition. -Wos. Nyiggawd of question, *cuddles you* but of ouw demands -Most *blushes* fwee in his wepwy. -Queen. *blushes* Did you assay him -T-To any pastime? -Wos. Madam, it so feww out *notices bulge* that c-cewtain pwayews -We o'ewwaught on the way. Of these w-we t-towd h-him, -And thewe did seem ;;w;; in him a kind of ;;w;; joy -To heaw of i-it. They *hugs tightly* awe h-hewe about the couwt, -And, ^w^ as I think, they >_> have awweady owdew -This nyight to pway >w< befowe him. -Pow. 'Tis most twue; -And *shuffles closer* he beseech'd me to entweat youw Majesties -T-To heaw and see the mattew. -*giggles shyly* King. With aww my *moans* heawt, and it *twerks* doth much content me -T-To heaw him so incwin'd. -Good gentwemen, give h-him a f-fuwthew e-edge -And dwive his puwpose on to these dewights. -Wos. We shaww, :3 my wowd. -Exeunt Wosencwantz and :3 Guiwdenstewn. -King. Sweet Gewtwude, w-weave us too; -Fow we have cwosewy >_< sent *sighs* fow Hamwet hithew, -That he, as 'twewe by a-accident, may hewe -Affwont Ophewia. -Hew fathew *twerks* and mysewf (wawfuw espiaws) -Wiww so bestow ouwsewves that, *screams* seeing *blushes* unseen, -W-We may of theiw encountew f-fwankwy j-judge -A-And gathew by him, as he is behav'd, -If't b-be th' *looks away* affwiction o-of h-his wove, ow nyo, -That thus h-he suffews fow. -Queen. I shaww obey you; -And fow y-youw pawt, O-Ophewia, I d-do wish -That youw g-good *looks at you* beauties be the happy c-cause -Of *looks away* Hamwet's w-wiwdnyess. So shaww I hope youw viwtues -^-^ Wiww *leans over* bwing him ^-^ to his w-wonted way again, -To b-both ^-^ youw honyouws. -:33 Oph. Madam, I wish i-it may. -[Exit Queen.] -Pow. Ophewia, wawk you hewe.- *sighs* Gwacious, s-so pwease you, -We wiww bestow ouwsewves.- [To Ophewia] Wead o-on this ^.^ book, ->w< That show *blushes* of *giggles shyly* such an exewcise *cries* may cowouw -Youw wonyewinyess.- We awe oft t-to bwame ;;w;; in this, -'Tis too much pwov'd, that with devotion's visage -A-And *notices bulge* pious action we do sugaw o'ew -The Deviw himsewf. -King. [aside] O, 'tis too twue! -How smawt a wash that speech >_> doth give m-my conscience! -The hawwot's cheek, beautied with pwast'wing a-awt, -Is *looks away* nyot *notices bulge* mowe ugwy to the thing xDD that hewps it -Than is my deed to m-my most painted wowd. -O heavy b-buwthen! -Pow. I h-heaw him coming. Wet's withdwaw, my *looks at you* wowd. -Exeunt King and P-Powonyius]. - -Entew Hamwet. - -Ham. To uWu be, *shuffles closer* ow nyot to b-be- that is the question: -Whethew 'tis nyobwew in the mind to suffew -The swings and *shuffles closer* awwows of outwageous fowtunye -O-Ow to take awms against a s-sea of twoubwes, -And by *hugs tightly* opposing ^-^ end them. To die- t-to sweep- -N-Nyo mowe; and by a sweep t-to ^-^ say w-we end -The heawtache, and the thousand >w< nyatuwaw ^w^ shocks -^-^ That fwesh is heiw to. '-'Tis a consummation -D-Devoutwy ^-^ to be wish'd. To die- to sweep. -To sweep- pewchance to dweam: ay, thewe's *giggles shyly* the wub! -Fow in that s-sweep of death what *teleports behind you* dweams m-may come -When we have shuffwed off this mowtaw coiw, -Must give us pause. Thewe's the wespect -That ^w^ makes c-cawamity of so wong wife. -Fow w-who wouwd beaw the whips a-and scowns of time, -Th' oppwessow's wwong, the *teleports behind you* pwoud man's contumewy, -The pangs of despis'd wove, t-the w-waw's *giggles shyly* deway, -The i-insowence of office, and the spuwns -T-That patient mewit of th' *blushes* unwowthy takes, -When he h-himsewf might his quietus make -*pokes you* With *shuffles closer* a bawe bodkin? Who wouwd these fawdews beaw, -To g-gwunt and sweat *looks at you* undew >_< a weawy wife, -But that the dwead of s-something a-aftew death- -The undiscovew'd countwy, f-fwom whose *screams* bouwn -Nyo twavewwew wetuwns- p-puzzwes t-the wiww, -And makes us wathew beaw those >_< iwws we have -Than fwy to othews that we *cuddles you* knyow nyot of? -Thus conscience does ^w^ make cowawds of us aww, -And thus the uWu nyative hue OwO of wesowution -Is s-sickwied o'ew *sighs* with the pawe cast of thought, ->_< And entewpwises of UwU gweat pith and moment -With this wegawd theiw *moans* cuwwents tuwn awwy -And wose the nyame of action.- Soft you nyow! -*sweats* The *leans over* faiw Ophewia!- N-Nymph, ;;w;; in *blushes* thy owisons -Be aww m-my sins wememb'wed. -O-Oph. Good my UwU wowd, -How does youw h-honyouw fow this many a d-day? -Ham. I *leans over* humbwy *looks away* thank you; weww, weww, weww. -Oph. My wowd, I >_< have wemembwances of youws -That *giggles shyly* I have wonged x3 wong to we-dewivew. ->_< I pway you, xDD nyow weceive them. -Ham. Nyo, n-nyot I! -I nyevew ;;w;; gave you aught. -Oph. My h-honyouw'd w-wowd, you knyow wight weww you did, -And *pokes you* with them wowds of so *notices bulge* sweet bweath compos'd -A-As made the xDD things mowe wich. ^-^ Theiw pewfume wost, -*hugs tightly* Take *hugs tightly* these *screams* again; fow to t-the nyobwe mind -Wich gifts ;;w;; wax *sweats* poow when g-givews pwove unkind. -Thewe, OwO my wowd. -H-Ham. Ha, ha! Awe y-you honyest? -Oph. My wowd? -Ham. *screams* Awe you faiw? -*notices bulge* Oph. What means youw wowdship? -Ham. That if you be honyest and f-faiw, youw honyesty shouwd admit *sweats* nyo -discouwse to youw *sighs* beauty. -Oph. C-Couwd beauty, my wowd, have b-bettew *looks at you* commewce than with honyesty? -*twerks* Ham. Ay, twuwy; fow the powew of beauty wiww soonyew *sweats* twansfowm -honyesty fwom what *twerks* it is to a bawd than the :3 fowce *giggles shyly* of *sweats* honyesty can -t-twanswate beauty into *pokes you* his wikenyess. This *shuffles closer* was sometime a ^w^ pawadox, -but nyow t-the time *moans* gives it p-pwoof. >_> I did wove you once. -O-Oph. ^-^ Indeed, my wowd, you made ^-^ me bewieve so. -H-Ham. You ;;w;; shouwd nyot have bewiev'd >_> me; fow *shuffles closer* viwtue OwO cannyot so -inyocuwate ouw o-owd stock but we shaww wewish of it. *hugs tightly* I woved y-you -nyot. -Oph. I was the mowe deceived. -*hugs tightly* Ham. Get thee to a nyunnyewy! Why *pokes you* wouwdst thou be a bweedew of -sinnyews? I *twerks* am *blushes* mysewf indiffewent honyest, but y-yet I couwd accuse -*sweats* me of such things that it wewe bettew m-my mothew had *cuddles you* nyot bownye me. -I *shuffles closer* am vewy pwoud, wevengefuw, ambitious; with mowe offences at my -beck than I h-have thoughts to put *screams* them *twerks* in, imaginyation to give -*sweats* them shape, ow time to act ^w^ them in. What shouwd xDD such fewwows as I -do, c-cwawwing between eawth and heaven? We OwO awe awwant knyaves *sweats* aww; -bewieve n-nyonye of us. Go *pokes you* thy ways to a n-nyunnyewy. *blushes* Whewe's youw -f-fathew? -Oph. *hugs tightly* At h-home, *cuddles you* my *looks at you* wowd. -Ham. Wet the doows be shut u-upon *twerks* him, that he may pway the foow -nyowhewe but in's own house. Faweweww. -Oph. O, hewp him, you s-sweet heavens! -Ham. If thou dost mawwy, I'ww give t-thee this pwague fow thy dowwy: -be thou as chaste as ice, as puwe ^-^ as snyow, thou shawt nyot escape -cawumny. G-Get thee to a nyunnyewy. Go, faweweww. O-Ow ;;w;; if thou *leans over* wiwt -n-nyeeds mawwy, mawwy a foow; fow *looks at you* wise >_> men knyow weww enyough what -monstews y-you make of them. To a-a nyunnyewy, go; and quickwy t-too. -F-Faweweww. -Oph. O uWu heavenwy powews, w-westowe him! -Ham. I have h-heawd of youw p-paintings :3 too, weww enyough. God h-hath -given you *sweats* onye face, and you make youwsewves :3 anyothew. You jig, *twerks* you -a-ambwe, and you wisp; you nyicknyame G-God's cweatuwes and make youw -wantonnyess *looks at you* youw ignyowance. Go to, I'ww nyo mowe on't! it hath made -me *screams* mad. I say, we wiww have nyo moe mawwiages. Those that awe -mawwied awweady- aww but onye- shaww wive; *teleports behind you* the west shaww keep *looks away* as -they awe. To *hugs tightly* a *cuddles you* nyunnyewy, go. Exit. -Oph. O-O, what a-a nyobwe mind is hewe o'ewthwown! -The couwtiew's, s-schowaw's, sowdiew's, eye, t-tongue, swowd, -T-Th' expectancy and wose of the faiw state, -The gwass of fashion and t-the *cries* mouwd of fowm, -Th' obsewv'd of aww obsewvews- quite, quite down! -And I-I, of wadies most deject and wwetched, -That suck'd t-the honyey of his music vows, -Nyow UwU see t-that nyobwe and most soveweign weason, -W-Wike sweet bewws jangwed, out of tunye and *screams* hawsh; -That unmatch'd fowm a-and featuwe of bwown youth -Bwasted with *teleports behind you* ecstasy. O, woe i-is me -T' have seen what *notices bulge* I have seen, see what I see! - -Entew King and P-Powonyius. - -King. Wove? his a-affections do nyot that way tend; -Nyow what h-he spake, though it w-wack'd fowm a wittwe, -Was nyot OwO wike *screams* madnyess. Thewe's something in his souw -O'ew which OwO his mewanchowy :3 sits on bwood; -And I do doubt the hatch and the discwose -Wiww *sighs* be *sweats* some dangew; which fow ^.^ to pwevent, -;;w;; I have in quick detewminyation -Thus set it down: he :3 shaww with speed to Engwand -Fow the demand of ouw nyegwected twibute. -Hapwy the seas, and countwies diffewent, ->_> With vawiabwe objects, shaww expew -This :33 something-settwed mattew in his heawt, -Wheweon :33 his bwains stiww beating puts him thus -Fwom fashion o-of himsewf. What *hugs tightly* think *looks at you* you on't? -Pow. It shaww *looks away* do w-weww. But yet do I b-bewieve -The *leans over* owigin and commencement of h-his g-gwief -Spwung fwom nyegwected wove.- How nyow, *screams* Ophewia? -Y-You nyeed nyot teww us w-what Wowd Hamwet said. -We heawd it aww.- My w-wowd, *blushes* do as y-you p-pwease; -B-But if y-you howd it fit, aftew *looks at you* the pway -Wet his queen mothew aww awonye entweat him -To *giggles shyly* show his gwief. *pokes you* Wet h-hew be wound with h-him; -And I-I'ww be pwac'd so *looks at you* pwease ;;w;; you, i-in the eaw -Of aww *giggles shyly* theiw confewence. If she find him nyot, -To *moans* Engwand send him; *screams* ow c-confinye *pokes you* him whewe -Youw wisdom best shaww think. -King. It shaww be so. -M-Madnyess in gweat onyes must nyot unwatch'd go. Exeunt. - - - - -:3 Scenye *cuddles you* II. -Ewsinyowe. haww in the Castwe. - -Entew Hamwet and thwee of the Pwayews. - -Ham. Speak the *looks away* speech, I pway you, a-as I pwonyounc'd it to you, -twippingwy on the t-tongue. But if you mouth it, as many of ouw -pwayews do, I-I had as wive the town cwiew spoke my w-winyes. N-Nyow uWu do -nyot *cries* saw t-the aiw too m-much with youw hand, thus, but use aww -gentwy; fow in the vewy towwent, tempest, and (as I-I m-may say) -whiwwwind o-of youw passion, y-you must acquiwe and beget ^.^ a -tempewance that may give it smoothnyess. O, it offends me to the -souw to heaw a wobustious *sweats* pewiwig-pated fewwow teaw a passion to -tattews, to vewy w-wags, t-to s-spwit t-the caws of *twerks* the gwoundwings, w-who -(fow the most UwU pawt) awe capabwe of nyothing but inyexpwicabwe dumb -*twerks* shows a-and n-nyoise. I-I ^-^ wouwd have such a-a fewwow whipp'd fow o'ewdoing -Tewmagant. It out-hewods Hewod. Pway you avoid it. -Pwayew. I wawwant youw honyouw. -Ham. Be nyot too tame nyeithew; but wet youw own *pokes you* discwetion be youw -tutow. Suit the action to the w-wowd, t-the wowd to the action; with -this speciaw obsewvance, that you o-o'ewstep *cries* nyot the modesty of -nyatuwe: f-fow anything so o-ovewdonye i-is fwom the puwpose of p-pwaying, -*looks at you* whose end, both *moans* at the fiwst and n-nyow, was and is, to howd, as -'twewe, the miwwow up to nyatuwe; to s-show Viwtue hew o-own featuwe, -*cuddles you* scown hew own i-image, and t-the vewy age a-and body of the time OwO his -fowm and *sighs* pwessuwe. Nyow this ovewdonye, *cries* ow come tawdy off, though -it make the unskiwfuw w-waugh, ;;w;; cannyot but make the *sighs* judicious -gwieve; the censuwe of t-the *teleports behind you* which onye *cries* must in youw awwowance -o'ewweigh a *teleports behind you* whowe theatwe o-of othews. O, thewe be pwayews that I -have seen pway, and heawd othews pwaise, and that *looks at you* highwy *sweats* (nyot to -speak it pwofanyewy), that, nyeithew having the accent o-of -x3 Chwistians, *notices bulge* nyow the g-gait of C-Chwistian, pagan, nyow *twerks* man, have s-so -stwutted and bewwowed that I h-have thought some of Nyatuwe's -jouwnyeymen had made *looks at you* men, a-and nyot made them weww, they x3 imitated -humanyity so abominyabwy. -Pwayew. *shuffles closer* I *looks away* hope we have wefowm'd that indiffewentwy with us, siw. -^.^ Ham. O, w-wefowm it awtogethew! A-And UwU wet those that pway youw cwowns -speak nyo mowe than *shuffles closer* is set down fow t-them. Fow thewe be of them -that w-wiww t-themsewves waugh, to set on some q-quantity of bawwen -*sweats* spectatows to waugh too, though in the m-mean t-time s-some >_< nyecessawy -question of the pway be *looks at you* then to *hugs tightly* be UwU considewed. That's v-viwwanyous -and ^.^ shows a most pitifuw ambition in the foow that uses it. Go -make :3 you w-weady. -*pokes you* Exeunt Pwayews. - -Entew P-Powonyius, Wosencwantz, a-and Guiwdenstewn. - -How nyow, my wowd? Wiww the King h-heaw >w< this p-piece of wowk? -Pow. And the Queen too, and that pwesentwy. -Ham. Bid t-the pwayews make *hugs tightly* haste, [Exit Powonyius.] Wiww you two -*cuddles you* hewp to hasten them? -Both. We w-wiww, ^w^ my wowd. uWu Exeunt they two. -Ham. What, ho, *screams* Howatio! - -Entew Howatio. - -How. Hewe, sweet wowd, at y-youw sewvice. -Ham. Howatio, thou awt e'en as just a man -As e'ew my convewsation cop'd withaw. -How. O, my d-deaw wowd! -H-Ham. Nyay, do n-nyot think I fwattew; -Fow what a-advancement m-may I-I hope fwom thee, -That nyo :33 wevenyue hast but thy good s-spiwits -To feed >w< and cwothe xDD thee? Why *leans over* shouwd the poow ;;w;; be fwattew'd? -N-Nyo, wet the candied tongue wick absuwd pomp, -And cwook the pwegnyant hinges ^w^ of the knyee -Whewe thwift may fowwow f-fawnying. Dost thou heaw? -*screams* Since my deaw ;;w;; souw was mistwess o-of hew choice -And couwd of men distinguish, *hugs tightly* hew ewection -Hath scawd thee fow h-hewsewf. Fow *shuffles closer* thou hast been -As onye, i-in *pokes you* suff'wing aww, that suffews nyothing; -A man that *shuffles closer* Fowtunye's buffets and wewawds -Hast ta'en with equaw thanks; *hugs tightly* and bwest awe t-those -Whose bwood and x3 judgment *teleports behind you* awe so w-weww commingwed -That they awe nyot a pipe >_> fow Fowtunye's fingew -To *looks at you* sound *looks away* what stop she >w< pwease. Give me that man ->w< That is nyot ^-^ passion's swave, *shuffles closer* and I w-wiww weaw him -In my *looks at you* heawt's cowe, ay, in my xDD heawt *leans over* of *teleports behind you* heawt, -*teleports behind you* As I *pokes you* do thee. Something too much of *hugs tightly* this I -Thewe is a pway t-to-nyight befowe the King. -Onye scenye of it comes nyeaw the ciwcumstance, -Which I have towd thee, of *hugs tightly* my fathew's death. -I pwithee, *pokes you* when thou seest that act OwO afoot, -Even with ^-^ the vewy c-comment of thy OwO souw -Obsewve m-my uncwe. If his occuwted guiwt -Do nyot itsewf unkennyew in onye speech, -*shuffles closer* It is a damnyed ghost that we have seen, -And my imaginyations awe as fouw -As Vuwcan's stithy. Give him heedfuw nyote; -Fow *sweats* I minye e-eyes wiww wivet to his face, -And aftew we wiww b-both ouw judgments join -In censuwe of his s-seeming. -How. Weww, m-my wowd. -uWu If he steaw aught the whiwst this pway is pwaying, -*pokes you* And scape detecting, I wiww pay the >_< theft. - -S-Sound a fwouwish. [Entew Twumpets and Kettwedwums. uWu Danyish -mawch. [Entew King, Q-Queen, Powonyius, Ophewia, Wosencwantz, -*leans over* Guiwdenstewn, and othew Wowds attendant, with the Guawd -cawwying towches. - -*twerks* Ham. T-They awe coming ;;w;; to the *hugs tightly* pway. I ^.^ must be idwe. -Get y-you a pwace. -King. How fawes ouw cousin Hamwet? -Ham. Excewwent, i' faith; >w< of the chameweon's dish. I eat the aiw, -pwomise-cwamm'd. You c-cannyot feed capons so. -King. I have nyothing with this a-answew, *giggles shyly* Hamwet. :3 These wowds a-awe nyot -minye. -Ham. Nyo, nyow minye n-nyow. [To Powonyius] My wowd, you pway'd *notices bulge* once -i' th' unyivewsity, you say? -*hugs tightly* Pow. That did I-I, my wowd, and was accounted a-a good *notices bulge* actow. -Ham. What did you enyact? -P-Pow. *cries* I d-did enyact Juwius Caesaw; I was kiww'd i' th' Capitow; Bwutus -kiww'd me. -Ham. It was a bwute p-pawt of him to OwO kiww so capitaw a cawf thewe. Be -the pwayews w-weady. -Wos. Ay, my wowd. They stay :33 upon youw patience. -Queen. *cries* Come hithew, ;;w;; my d-deaw Hamwet, sit by me. -Ham. Nyo, *hugs tightly* good mothew. Hewe's >_< metaw mowe attwactive. -*giggles shyly* Pow. [to the King] O, ho! do you mawk that? ->_> Ham. Wady, shaww I wie in youw w-wap? -[Sits down *notices bulge* at Ophewia's feet.] -Oph. Nyo, m-my wowd. -*looks at you* Ham. I mean, my head *notices bulge* upon uWu youw wap? -O-Oph. Ay, *leans over* my wowd. -H-Ham. Do y-you think I-I meant countwy mattews? -Oph. I-I think n-nyothing, x3 my wowd. -Ham. :3 That's a faiw thought t-to wie between maids' *screams* wegs. -O-Oph. What is, my w-wowd? -Ham. Nyothing. -Oph. You awe mewwy, my wowd. -H-Ham. W-Who, I? -O-Oph. Ay, my wowd. -Ham. >_< O God, youw >_< onwy jig-makew! *looks away* What s-shouwd a man d-do but be mewwy? -Fow wook you how cheewfuwwy my *sweats* mothew >w< wooks, and my f-fathew died -within 's two houws. -Oph. Nyay 'tis :33 twice two months, my wowd. -Ham. So wong? Nyay then, wet the deviw weaw bwack, fow I'ww have a -suit of s-sabwes. O heavens! die two months ago, a-and nyot *sighs* fowgotten -yet? Then thewe's hope a gweat m-man's memowy may o-outwive his *moans* wife -hawf a-a yeaw. But, by'w :3 Wady, he must >_> buiwd chuwches then; ow ewse -shaww h-he suffew n-nyot thinking o-on, with the hobby-howse, whose -*blushes* epitaph is 'Fow O, fow O, t-the hobby-howse is fowgot!' - -Hautboys pway. The ^.^ dumb show entews. - -Entew a :3 King and a Queen UwU vewy w-wovingwy; the Queen embwacing -him x3 and *leans over* he hew. She knyeews, and makes show of pwotestation -:33 unto him. He takes ^.^ hew up, and decwinyes his head upon hew -nyeck. He ways *teleports behind you* him down upon a UwU bank of fwowews. S-She, seeing -him asweep, weaves him. Anyon comes in a fewwow, takes off *sighs* his -cwown, kisses it, pouws poison in t-the sweepew's eaws, and -weaves him. The Queen w-wetuwns, ^-^ finds the King dead, and m-makes -passionyate action. The Poisonyew with some thwee ow fouw Mutes, -comes in again, seem to condowe with hew. The dead body *shuffles closer* is -cawwied away. T-The Poisonyew wooes the Queen with gifts; she -seems h-hawsh and uWu unwiwwing *screams* awhiwe, but *cuddles you* in the :3 end accepts -his wove. -Exeunt. - -^w^ Oph. What means t-this, my wowd? -Ham. Mawwy, this is :3 miching mawhecho; it m-means mischief. -O-Oph. Bewike x3 this show impowts the awgument of the pway. - -Entew Pwowogue. - -Ham. We *pokes you* shaww knyow ^-^ by this fewwow. x3 The pwayews cannyot keep counsew; -they'ww t-teww aww. -Oph. Wiww he teww us what this show meant? -H-Ham. Ay, ow any show t-that you'ww show him. Be nyot y-you asham'd to -show, he'ww nyot shame to *sweats* teww you what it means. -Oph. Y-You awe *moans* nyaught, you awe nyaught! I'ww mawk the pway. - -Pwo. Fow *looks at you* us, and f-fow ouw t-twagedy, -Hewe *giggles shyly* stooping to youw cwemency, -We b-beg youw h-heawing patientwy. ^-^ [Exit.] - -Ham. Is this a pwowogue, ow the posy of a-a wing? -Oph. 'Tis bwief, my w-wowd. -*pokes you* Ham. As *cries* woman's w-wove. - -Entew [two Pwayews as] King *pokes you* and Queen. - -King. *pokes you* Fuww thiwty times hath Phoebus' cawt gonye wound -Nyeptunye's sawt wash and Tewwus' owbed gwound, -And thiwty dozed moons with bowwowed sheen -About the wowwd :3 have :33 times twewve thiwties been, -*sweats* Since wove ouw h-heawts, and Hymen did ouw h-hands, -Unyite comutuaw in most *looks away* sacwed bands. -Queen. So many jouwnyeys *cries* may the sun and m-moon -M-Make us again count o'ew ewe wove be d-donye! -But w-woe is me! you awe so sick of wate, ->w< So faw f-fwom cheew and fwom youw fowmew state. -*looks at you* That I UwU distwust you. Yet, though I distwust, -Discomfowt you, my wowd, it nyothing m-must; -Fow women's feaw and wove howds quantity, -In n-nyeithew aught, *looks away* ow in extwemity. -Nyow what my wove is, pwoof hath made you knyow; -And as my wove is siz'd, m-my f-feaw is s-so. -Whewe wove i-is *giggles shyly* gweat, the wittwest doubts awe feaw; -Whewe w-wittwe feaws gwow gweat, gweat wove gwows :3 thewe. -*twerks* King. Faith, I m-must weave thee, wove, and showtwy too; -My opewant powews theiw functions weave to do. -And thou shawt wive in t-this f-faiw wowwd behind, -Honyouw'd, *shuffles closer* bewov'd, and hapwy onye *cuddles you* as kind -Fow husband shawt *cuddles you* thou- -Queen. O, confound t-the west! -Such wove must nyeeds *twerks* be tweason in my bweast. -*cries* When second h-husband wet me *shuffles closer* be accuwst! -Nyonye wed the second but who kiwwed the *cries* fiwst. - -Ham. [aside] Wowmwood, >_> wowmwood! - -Queen. T-The ^w^ instances that second mawwiage move -A-Awe base wespects *giggles shyly* of *hugs tightly* thwift, b-but nyonye o-of wove. -A second time I kiww my husband dead -When second husband kisses me in bed. -*screams* King. I do b-bewieve you think what nyow uWu you s-speak; -But w-what we do detewminye oft we bweak. -P-Puwpose i-is but t-the swave to memowy, -*giggles shyly* Of viowent biwth, but poow vawidity; -Which nyow, wike fwuit u-unwipe, sticks on the twee, -*twerks* But fiww unshaken *sweats* when they *hugs tightly* mewwow be. -Most *looks away* nyecessawy 'tis ^.^ that we f-fowget -T-To pay >_< ouwsewves what t-to ouwsewves is debt. -What to ouwsewves in passion w-we *teleports behind you* pwopose, -The passion ending, UwU doth the puwpose wose. -The *notices bulge* viowence of eithew gwief ow *cries* joy -Theiw own enyactuwes with themsewves destwoy. -Whewe j-joy most wevews, gwief doth most wament; -Gwief OwO joys, joy gwieves, on swendew accident. -This wowwd i-is nyot fow OwO aye, n-nyow 'tis nyot stwange -That even ouw *screams* woves shouwd *looks at you* with ouw fowtunyes change; -Fow '-'tis a question weft ^w^ us yet to pwove, -W-Whethew wove wead fowtunye, o-ow ewse fowtunye wove. -*notices bulge* The gweat man down, you mawk his >_> favouwite fwies, -The >_< poow *notices bulge* advanc'd *hugs tightly* makes f-fwiends >_< of enyemies; -And hithewto doth wove on fowtunye tend, -Fow who nyot nyeeds s-shaww nyevew *cuddles you* wack a fwiend, -And who in want a-a howwow x3 fwiend >_< doth twy, -D-Diwectwy seasons him his enyemy. -But, owdewwy ^-^ to end *looks away* whewe I begun, -Ouw wiwws and fates do s-so contwawy wun -T-That ouw devices *sweats* stiww awe *screams* ovewthwown; -Ouw thoughts awe ouws, theiw ends nyonye of ouw own. -So >_< think t-thou wiwt *looks away* nyo second husband w-wed; -But die thy t-thoughts when thy *cries* fiwst wowd is dead. -Queen. Nyow eawth to me give food, nyow heaven *leans over* wight, -Spowt and wepose wock fwom me d-day a-and nyight, -To despewation tuwn my t-twust and hope, -An anchow's cheew *looks at you* in pwison be my scope, -E-Each opposite that b-bwanks t-the face of joy -Meet uWu what I wouwd >w< have weww, and it destwoy, -Both hewe and hence puwsue me wasting stwife, -If, once a *sighs* widow, evew I be wife! - -H-Ham. If she shouwd *sweats* bweak it nyow! - ->_> King. 'Tis deepwy swown. Sweet, weave >w< me hewe awhiwe. -My spiwits g-gwow duww, *blushes* and fain I wouwd beguiwe -The tedious day with sweep. -^w^ Queen. Sweep wock thy *leans over* bwain, -[He] sweeps. -And nyevew come mischance between us twain! -Exit. - -Ham. Madam, how >_> wike *cuddles you* you this pway? -x3 Queen. The wady doth pwotest too much, methinks. -Ham. O, but she'ww keep hew wowd. -King. Have *twerks* you h-heawd the awgument? Is thewe nyo offence i-in't? -H-Ham. *sighs* Nyo, nyo! They do but *cries* jest, poison in jest; *cuddles you* nyo offence i' th' -wowwd. -King. What do you caww the pway? -Ham. 'The M-Mousetwap.' Mawwy, ^w^ how? Twopicawwy. This pway is the -image of a muwthew donye in Viennya. Gonzago is *blushes* the d-duke's *notices bulge* nyame; -his wife, *leans over* Baptista. uWu You s-shaww see anyon. 'Tis a knyavish piece of -wowk; b-but what *blushes* o' that? xDD Youw Majesty, and we that h-have fwee -souws, UwU it *leans over* touches us *screams* nyot. Wet the gaww'd jade *sweats* winch; ouw withews -awe unwwung. - -Entew Wucianyus. - -This is onye Wucianyus, nyephew to the K-King. -Oph. You a-awe as good as a chowus, my wowd. -Ham. *looks away* I couwd intewpwet between you and youw wove, if I c-couwd see -the puppets dawwying. -Oph. You awe keen, my wowd, you awe k-keen. -H-Ham. I-It wouwd c-cost you OwO a gwoanying to take off my edge. -Oph. OwO Stiww b-bettew, a-and wowse. -H-Ham. So you must t-take youw husbands.- Begin, muwthewew. Pox, weave -thy damnyabwe faces, a-and begin! C-Come, the cwoaking w-waven doth -bewwow fow wevenge. - -Wuc. T-Thoughts b-bwack, hands apt, dwugs fit, and time agweeing; -Confedewate season, ewse *blushes* nyo c-cweatuwe seeing; -Thou mixtuwe ^w^ wank, of midnyight weeds cowwected, -:33 With Hecate's ban t-thwice bwasted, thwice infected, -Thy nyatuwaw magic and diwe pwopewty -On whowesome wife usuwp immediatewy. -Pouws the *blushes* poison in his eaws. - -Ham. He poisons him i' xDD th' gawden fow's estate. :3 His nyame's Gonzago. -;;w;; The stowy :3 is extant, a-and wwitten *pokes you* in vewy choice Itawian. You -shaww see anyon how the m-muwthewew gets the wove of G-Gonzago's *cuddles you* wife. -Oph. T-The King wises. -Ham. What, fwighted with fawse fiwe? -Queen. How fawes my wowd? -P-Pow. Give o'ew the p-pway. -uWu King. Give me some wight! A-Away! -Aww. Wights, wights, wights! -Exeunt aww but >w< Hamwet and *twerks* Howatio. -Ham. Why, wet the *hugs tightly* stwucken deew g-go weep, -The hawt ungawwed p-pway; -Fow some m-must watch, whiwe some must sweep: -Thus wuns *screams* the wowwd away. -Wouwd nyot this, >w< siw, *cuddles you* and a fowest o-of feathews- i-if the west *cries* of my -fowtunyes *screams* tuwn Tuwk with me-with two Pwovinciaw woses on my *teleports behind you* waz'd -shoes, get me *screams* a fewwowship in a c-cwy of pwayews, siw? -How. Hawf a shawe. -Ham. A w-whowe onye I! -*leans over* Fow thou dost knyow, O-O Damon deaw, -This weawm dismantwed was -*looks at you* Of Jove himsewf; and nyow weigns *notices bulge* hewe -A v-vewy, vewy- pajock. -How. You might have :3 whym'd. -Ham. *shuffles closer* O good H-Howatio, ^w^ I'ww take the ghost's w-wowd fow a thousand -pound! Didst pewceive? -How. Vewy weww, my wowd. -Ham. Upon the tawk of the poisonying? -How. I did vewy weww nyote him. -Ham. Aha! Come, s-some *leans over* music! Come, the wecowdews! -*cuddles you* Fow if the King *leans over* wike nyot the comedy, -Why then, bewike h-he wikes it nyot, uWu pewdy. -Come, some music! - -Entew Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn. - -Guiw. Good my wowd, vouchsafe me a wowd with *screams* you. -Ham. Siw, a whowe *pokes you* histowy. -*looks away* Guiw. The King, siw- -Ham. Ay, s-siw, what of him? -Guiw. *sighs* Is in his wetiwement, mawvewwous distempew'd. -Ham. With dwink, s-siw? -Guiw. *leans over* Nyo, my wowd; wathew with chowew. -Ham. Youw wisdom shouwd show xDD itsewf mowe wichew to signyify this to -t-the doctow; fow me to put him to his puwgation wouwd pewhaps -pwunge *notices bulge* him into faw mowe chowew. -*giggles shyly* Guiw. Good m-my wowd, put youw d-discouwse into some fwame, a-and stawt -nyot s-so *shuffles closer* wiwdwy fwom OwO my affaiw. -Ham. I am tame, siw; p-pwonyounce. -Guiw. The Queen, youw mothew, in most gweat affwiction of *twerks* spiwit -hath sent me to you. -Ham. You awe wewcome. -G-Guiw. Nyay, good my w-wowd, this couwtesy is *cuddles you* nyot of the wight bweed. -If it shaww pwease y-you to m-make me a whowesome answew, I wiww do -youw *hugs tightly* mothew's *screams* commandment; *twerks* if nyot, youw pawdon a-and my wetuwn -shaww be the uWu end of my businyess. -Ham. Siw, I cannyot. -Guiw. *cries* What, my w-wowd? -Ham. Make you a *cuddles you* whowesome answew; my wit's diseas'd. B-But, siw, such -answew is I can make, you s-shaww command; ow wathew, as you say, -my mothew. Thewefowe xDD nyo mowe, but to the mattew! My mothew, you -s-say- -Wos. Then thus she says: youw behaviouw hath s-stwuck hew into -amazement and admiwation. -Ham. O *shuffles closer* wondewfuw >_> son, UwU that can so stonyish a mothew! But is t-thewe nyo -sequew at the heews of this mothew's a-admiwation? Impawt. -Wos. She desiwes to speak with *teleports behind you* you in hew c-cwoset *looks away* ewe you go to bed. -Ham. W-We shaww obey, wewe she t-ten times ouw mothew. Have you any -f-fuwthew twade with u-us? -Wos. My wowd, you once did wove me. -Ham. And do stiww, by *twerks* these pickews *hugs tightly* and steawews! -Wos. Good my wowd, *screams* what is youw cause of OwO distempew? You :3 do suwewy -baw the doow u-upon youw o-own wibewty, if y-you deny youw gwiefs to -youw fwiend. -Ham. Siw, I wack advancement. -Wos. How can that be, when you *pokes you* have the voice *giggles shyly* of the K-King uWu himsewf -f-fow youw succession in Denmawk? -Ham. Ay, siw, but OwO 'whiwe the gwass gwows'- the pwovewb i-is something -musty. - -Entew the Pwayews with :3 wecowdews. - -O-O, the wecowdews! W-Wet me >_< see onye. To withdwaw with you- why do -you *screams* go about to wecovew the wind of me, as if you wouwd dwive m-me -into *leans over* a t-toiw? -Guiw. >_> O my >w< wowd, if my d-duty UwU be ^.^ too bowd, my wove is ;;w;; too unmannyewwy. -Ham. x3 I d-do nyot w-weww *pokes you* undewstand ^.^ that. Wiww you pway upon *giggles shyly* this pipe? -Guiw. My wowd, I ^-^ cannyot. -Ham. I ^.^ pway you. -Guiw. Bewieve me, I cannyot. -Ham. I do beseech you. -G-Guiw. I knyow, nyo touch *twerks* of it, my wowd. -Ham. It is a-as easy as wying. Govewn these ventages with youw -fingews and thumbs, give it *twerks* bweath with youw *pokes you* mouth, and it wiww -discouwse most ewoquent music. W-Wook you, these awe the s-stops. -G-Guiw. But these cannyot I command to any u-utt'wance of hawmony. I-I -have nyot the skiww. -Ham. W-Why, wook you nyow, h-how unwowthy *sweats* a thing you make of *hugs tightly* me! Y-You -wouwd pway upon m-me; y-you wouwd *notices bulge* seem to knyow my *cuddles you* stops; you *looks away* wouwd -pwuck UwU out the heawt uWu of my *leans over* mystewy; you wouwd sound me fwom my -wowest nyote to the top o-of m-my compass; *pokes you* and thewe is much music, -e-excewwent voice, i-in OwO this wittwe owgan, yet *sighs* cannyot you *screams* make it -speak. *looks at you* 'Sbwood, do you *teleports behind you* think I am e-easiew to be pway'd o-on than a -pipe? Caww *cuddles you* me what instwument you wiww, though you can fwet me, -y-you cannyot pway upon me. - -OwO Entew Powonyius. - -God bwess y-you, s-siw! -Pow. My w-wowd, *blushes* the Queen *cuddles you* wouwd speak w-with y-you, a-and pwesentwy. -Ham. Do you s-see yondew c-cwoud ^.^ that's awmost in shape of a camew? -*teleports behind you* Pow. By th' mass, and 'tis wike a camew indeed. -*looks at you* Ham. Methinks it is wike a w-weasew. -*twerks* Pow. It is back'd wike uWu a weasew. -Ham. Ow wike a whawe. -Pow. V-Vewy w-wike a whawe. -H-Ham. Then wiww I c-come to OwO my mothew by-and-by.- They foow *screams* me to *shuffles closer* the -top of my bent.- I wiww come by-and-by. -*notices bulge* Pow. I wiww *cuddles you* say s-so. Exit. -Ham. 'By-and-by' is easiwy said.- Weave me, ^w^ fwiends. -[Exeunt aww but Hamwet.] -'Tis n-nyow the vewy witching time of nyight, -When *sighs* chuwchyawds *moans* yawn, *shuffles closer* and heww *looks at you* itsewf bweathes :33 out -Contagion t-to this wowwd. Nyow couwd I *hugs tightly* dwink hot bwood -And do such *looks at you* bittew b-businyess as the day -Wouwd quake to UwU wook o-on. Soft! nyow to my mothew! -O heawt, wose nyot thy nyatuwe; wet nyot e-evew -The souw o-of N-Nyewo entew this *notices bulge* fiwm bosom. -Wet me be *sweats* cwuew, nyot unnyatuwaw; -I-I wiww speak daggews t-to hew, but use nyonye. -My tongue and souw in this be hypocwites- -How in my wowds somevew she be shent, -To give them s-seaws nyevew, my souw, consent! Exit. - - - - -Scenye III. -A woom in the Castwe. - -Entew King, *screams* Wosencwantz, and *leans over* Guiwdenstewn. - -King. I wike him nyot, nyow stands it safe *looks at you* with us -To wet his m-madnyess wange. Thewefowe pwepawe you; -*giggles shyly* I youw *cuddles you* commission wiww fowthwith *teleports behind you* dispatch, -And he to Engwand shaww a-awong with >_< you. -The tewms xDD of ouw estate may nyot enduwe -Hazawd s-so *teleports behind you* nyeaw us as doth *sighs* houwwy gwow -Out of *looks at you* his wunyacies. -Guiw. *teleports behind you* We UwU wiww ouwsewves *teleports behind you* pwovide. -Most howy and wewigious ^.^ feaw it is -T-To k-keep those many *looks at you* many bodies safe -uWu That wive and OwO feed upon youw Majesty. -Wos. The *sighs* singwe and pecuwiaw wife is *cuddles you* bound -With a-aww the stwength and a-awmouw o-of *sweats* the mind -To keep i-itsewf fwom >w< nyoyance; but much mowe -T-That spiwit upon whose weaw depends and wests -*blushes* The wives *looks away* of many. The cesse of majesty -D-Dies n-nyot awonye, but wike *notices bulge* a guwf doth d-dwaw -^-^ What's nyeaw it with it. It is *looks at you* a massy wheew, -Fix'd on the summit ;;w;; of the highest mount, -To whose huge spokes ten thousand w-wessew things -Awe mowtis'd and adjoin'd; which when it *looks at you* fawws, -Each smaww annyexment, petty consequence, -Attends *hugs tightly* the boist'wous ^-^ wuin. Nyevew awonye -Did the k-king sigh, but w-with a genyewaw gwoan. -King. Awm you, I pway you, to th', speedy voyage; -Fow we wiww f-fettews put UwU upon *looks away* this feaw, -*cries* Which nyow goes too *screams* fwee-footed. -Both. We wiww haste us. -*looks away* Exeunt Gentwemen. - -Entew Powonyius. - -Pow. My wowd, he's going *shuffles closer* to his mothew's cwoset. -Behind t-the a-awwas I'ww convey *giggles shyly* mysewf -To h-heaw >_< the pwocess. I'ww wawwant she'ww tax him home; -And, as you said, and wisewy was it said, -*hugs tightly* 'Tis meet t-that some mowe audience than a m-mothew, -Since nyatuwe makes *looks away* them pawtiaw, shouwd o'ewheaw -The speech, of vantage. :33 Fawe you w-weww, my wiege. -I'ww *moans* caww upon you *teleports behind you* ewe y-you go to bed -And teww you what I knyow. -King. Thanks, deaw my wowd. -Exit [Powonyius]. -O, my offence is wank, it smewws to heaven; -It h-hath the pwimaw ewdest c-cuwse upon't, -A bwothew's *notices bulge* muwthew! Pway can I nyot, -*cries* Though incwinyation be as shawp as wiww. -My stwongew *looks away* guiwt defeats m-my s-stwong i-intent, -And, wike a-a man *blushes* to doubwe b-businyess bound, -I stand in pause w-whewe I shaww fiwst begin, -And b-both nyegwect. What if this c-cuwsed hand -Wewe thickew than itsewf UwU with bwothew's bwood, -Is *screams* thewe nyot wain e-enyough in the sweet heavens -To wash it white as snyow? Wheweto sewves mewcy -But to c-confwont the visage of offence? -And UwU what's in p-pwayew b-but this twofowd fowce, -To b-be fowestawwed *looks away* ewe we come to *pokes you* faww, -Ow pawdon'd being down? Then I'ww wook up; -M-My ^w^ fauwt is past. But, O-O, what fowm of pwayew -Can sewve my tuwn? '-'Fowgive m-me :33 my fouw muwthew'? -That *giggles shyly* cannyot be; *screams* since I am stiww uWu possess'd -Of those effects fow which *blushes* I d-did the muwthew- -My c-cwown, *sighs* minye *screams* own a-ambition, and *moans* my queen. -May o-onye be pawdon'd and wetain th' offence? -I-In *blushes* the cowwupted cuwwents of this wowwd -Offence's giwded hand may shove by justice, -And oft 'tis *hugs tightly* seen the wicked pwize itsewf -Buys out the waw; but 'tis nyot so above. -*sweats* Thewe is nyo shuffwing; thewe the action w-wies -I-In his twue nyatuwe, and we o-ouwsewves compeww'd, -Even to the :3 teeth *pokes you* and fowehead o-of UwU ouw fauwts, -To give *screams* in evidence. What t-then? W-What wests? -Twy *sweats* what wepentance *blushes* can. What can *giggles shyly* it nyot? -Yet what c-can it when onye cannyot wepent? -UwU O wwetched state! O bosom bwack a-as death! -O *looks at you* wimed souw, that, stwuggwing t-to be fwee, -*screams* Awt mowe engag'd! Hewp, angews! Make *screams* assay. -Bow, stubbown knyees; and heawt *cuddles you* with >w< stwings of steew, -Be soft :33 as *teleports behind you* sinyews o-of the n-nyew-bown babe! -x3 Aww may be weww. He knyeews. - -Entew *hugs tightly* Hamwet. - -:33 Ham. Nyow might I do it pat, nyow *moans* he i-is pwaying; -And nyow >w< I'ww *blushes* do't. And s-so he goes to heaven, -And so *cuddles you* am *leans over* I weveng'd. That wouwd be scann'd. -A viwwain kiwws my fathew; and fow *looks away* that, -I, *leans over* his :3 sowe son, do this same viwwain send -To heaven. -Why, this is hiwe and sawawy, *twerks* nyot wevenge! -He took my fathew x3 gwosswy, f-fuww of bwead, -With aww his cwimes bwoad bwown, as f-fwush *moans* as May; -And how his a-audit stands, who knyows save h-heaven? -But in o-ouw ciwcumstance and c-couwse o-of thought, -'-'Tis *sweats* heavy with h-him; and am I then w-weveng'd, -To take him in the puwging of *blushes* his souw, -;;w;; When he is f-fit and seasonyed fow his p-passage? -Nyo. -U-Up, *leans over* swowd, and knyow thou a mowe howwid h-hent. -When *teleports behind you* he is dwunk asweep; ow *cuddles you* in his wage; -Ow in th' incestuous pweasuwe of *blushes* his bed; -At gaming, sweawing, ow ^-^ about some act -That has nyo ^-^ wewish of sawvation in't- -Then t-twip him, that his heews may kick at heaven, -And t-that his souw may be as *shuffles closer* damn'd and bwack -:33 As *cries* heww, w-wheweto it goes. My m-mothew stays. -This physic but pwowongs thy sickwy >_> days. Exit. -King. [wises] My wowds f-fwy uWu up, my t-thoughts wemain bewow. -Wowds ^.^ without thoughts nyevew to h-heaven go. E-Exit. - - - - -Scenye IV. ->_> The Queen's cwoset. - -Entew Queen and Powonyius. - -Pow. He wiww come ^.^ stwaight. *hugs tightly* Wook you way home to >_< him. -T-Teww him his pwanks have been too bwoad to beaw with, -And that y-youw G-Gwace *shuffles closer* hath *sighs* scween'd and stood between -Much *blushes* heat and him. I-I'ww siwence *shuffles closer* me even hewe. -Pway you be wound with *blushes* him. -H-Ham. (within) Mothew, *cuddles you* mothew, mothew! -Queen. :33 I'ww wawwant you; f-feaw me nyot. Withdwaw; I heaw him coming. -[Powonyius hides *looks away* behind the *hugs tightly* awwas.] - -^-^ Entew Hamwet. - -H-Ham. N-Nyow, mothew, what's the mattew? -Queen. Hamwet, thou hast thy fathew ;;w;; much offended. -Ham. Mothew, you have my fathew m-much offended. -Queen. Come, come, you *pokes you* answew with an uWu idwe tongue. -*moans* Ham. Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue. -Queen. Why, how nyow, :3 Hamwet? -Ham. What's >w< the mattew UwU nyow? -Q-Queen. H-Have you fowgot me? -*blushes* Ham. Nyo, by the wood, ^.^ nyot so! -You awe the *giggles shyly* Queen, youw husband's bwothew's *giggles shyly* wife, -And xDD (wouwd *notices bulge* it >_< wewe n-nyot so!) you awe my ^-^ mothew. -Queen. Nyay, *moans* then I'ww s-set those *notices bulge* to you that can speak. -Ham. Come, come, a-and sit you down. You shaww nyot budge I -You go nyot tiww I set you up a gwass -Whewe you may see the inmost pawt of you. -Queen. >_> What wiwt thou d-do? T-Thou wiwt nyot x3 muwthew me? -Hewp, hewp, ho! -Pow. [behind] >w< What, *sighs* ho! hewp, hewp, hewp! -Ham. [dwaws] H-How UwU nyow? a wat? D-Dead fow a ducat, dead! -[Makes a pass thwough the awwas and] *cries* kiwws P-Powonyius. -Pow. *blushes* [behind] O, I am swain! -*hugs tightly* Queen. O m-me, *blushes* what h-hast thou donye? -Ham. Nyay, I knyow nyot. I-Is it :33 the King? -Queen. O, what a wash and bwoody deed is this! -Ham. A bwoody deed- awmost as bad, good mothew, -As kiww a ^.^ king, UwU and mawwy with his bwothew. -Queen. As k-kiww *hugs tightly* a k-king? -Ham. Ay, wady, it was my UwU wowd. -[Wifts up the awwas and sees Powonyius.] -Thou wwetched, wash, intwuding foow, f-faweweww! -I took thee fow thy bettew. Take thy fowtunye. -Thou find'st to be too busy is some dangew. -Weave wwinging of *looks away* youw hinds. P-Peace! sit you down -*leans over* And *cries* wet m-me wwing youw heawt; fow so I-I *hugs tightly* shaww -If it *sweats* be uWu made of penyetwabwe stuff; -If damnyed c-custom have nyot bwaz'd it so -That it is pwoof and *looks at you* buwwawk xDD against sense. -Queen. *sighs* What have *leans over* I donye that thou daw'st wag thy tongue -*hugs tightly* In nyoise so wude against me? -Ham. Such a-an act -That bwuws the gwace and bwush of modesty; -:33 Cawws viwtue x3 hypocwite; takes off *cuddles you* the *cuddles you* wose -Fwom the faiw f-fowehead of an innyocent wove, -And sets a bwistew t-thewe; makes m-mawwiage vows -As ^w^ fawse as d-dicews' oaths. O, such a deed -As :33 fwom the body of contwaction pwucks -The vewy >_> souw, x3 and sweet wewigion makes -A whapsody of *moans* wowds! Heaven's face d-doth g-gwow; -Yea, this sowidity and compound m-mass, ->w< With twistfuw visage, as against the d-doom, -uWu Is thought-sick at *pokes you* the act. -Queen. Ay me, what act, -That woaws ^-^ so woud a-and thundews *teleports behind you* in the *sweats* index? -Ham. Wook hewe upon th's pictuwe, and on *sweats* this, -T-The countewfeit pwesentment of two bwothews. -See w-what a-a gwace was seated on this bwow; -*sighs* Hypewion's *notices bulge* cuwws; t-the fwont of Jove *teleports behind you* himsewf; -An e-eye wike Maws, to thweaten and command; -A station wike the hewawd Mewcuwy -Nyew wighted on *cuddles you* a *screams* heaven-kissing hiww: -A combinyation and a fowm indeed -Whewe evewy god did s-seem to set h-his seaw -To give t-the *blushes* wowwd assuwance o-of a m-man. -This was youw husband. *blushes* Wook you nyow what fowwows. -Hewe is youw husband, wike a miwdew'd eaw -Bwasting his whowesome bwothew. Have you eyes? -C-Couwd y-you on this faiw mountain weave to feed, -And *moans* batten on this moow? H-Ha! ^w^ have you eyes -Y-You cannyot caww it wove; fow at youw age -The heyday in the bwood is tame, it's *leans over* humbwe, -And waits *cries* upon the >_> judgment; and what judgment -Wouwd step f-fwom this to this? Sense suwe you have, -Ewse c-couwd you nyot have motion; x3 but suwe that :3 sense -Is apopwex'd; fow madnyess wouwd nyot eww, -Nyow sense to e-ecstacy was *pokes you* nye'ew so *looks at you* thwaww'd -But it *hugs tightly* wesewv'd some quantity of choice -To sewve in such a diffewence. :3 What deviw was't -That thus hath cozen'd you at hoodman-bwind? -Eyes without feewing, feewing w-without sight, -Eaws w-without h-hands *twerks* ow eyes, >w< smewwing sans aww, -Ow b-but a s-sickwy pawt of onye twue sense -Couwd nyot so mope. -O shame! whewe is thy bwush? Webewwious heww, -I-If thou canst mutinye in a *hugs tightly* matwon's bonyes, -To fwaming *screams* youth wet viwtue be as wax -And mewt in >_< hew own fiwe. Pwocwaim nyo shame -When t-the compuwsive awdouw gives the chawge, -:33 Since *sighs* fwost itsewf as activewy doth buwn, -And weason pandews wiww. -Queen. O Hamwet, speak nyo mowe! ->_> Thou UwU tuwn'st minye eyes into my vewy souw, -And *moans* thewe I s-see such bwack and gwainyed spots -A-As w-wiww nyot weave theiw tinct. -Ham. Nyay, but >w< to wive -In the wank sweat of a-an enseamed bed, -Stew'd i-in cowwuption, honyeying and making wove -*sweats* Ovew t-the nyasty ;;w;; sty! -Queen. O, speak to me n-nyo ^.^ mowe! -T-These wowds wike daggews entew i-in minye eaws. -Nyo ^w^ mowe, sweet Hamwet! -Ham. A muwthewew and a viwwain! -A swave UwU that is nyot twentieth pawt the tithe -O-Of youw OwO pwecedent wowd; a vice of kings; -A-A cutpuwse of *looks away* the empiwe and the wuwe, -T-That fwom a shewf the p-pwecious diadem stowe -UwU And put *cries* it in his *notices bulge* pocket! -Queen. Nyo mowe! - -Entew the Ghost i-in his nyightgown. - ->_< Ham. A king of shweds and x3 patches!- -Save me and hovew o'ew ^.^ me with youw ;;w;; wings, -You *blushes* heavenwy guawds! *giggles shyly* What w-wouwd youw gwacious f-figuwe? -Queen. Awas, he's mad! -Ham. Do you ;;w;; nyot come youw *blushes* tawdy :3 son to chide, -That, waps'd in *notices bulge* time and passion, wets go by -*hugs tightly* Th' *looks at you* impowtant acting of youw dwead command? -O, say! -Ghost. Do nyot fowget. This visitation -Is but to whet thy awmost bwunted puwpose. -But wook, amazement *looks away* on thy mothew sits. -O, step between hew a-and hew fighting s-souw -Conceit in weakest bodies stwongest wowks. -Speak t-to hew, Hamwet. -Ham. How is it with you, wady? -Queen. Awas, how i-is't with you, -That you do bend youw eye ^w^ on vacancy, -And with th' encowpowaw *pokes you* aiw do UwU howd discouwse? -Fowth at youw :33 eyes youw spiwits wiwdwy peep; -A-And, a-as the sweeping x3 sowdiews in th' awawm, -Youw bedded haiws, wike wife in excwements, -Stawt up a-and stand an end. O gentwe *hugs tightly* son, -Upon the beat and fwame OwO of thy d-distempew -*twerks* Spwinkwe c-coow patience! Wheweon *looks away* do you wook? -Ham. On him, on him! ^.^ Wook you how pawe he gwawes! -His fowm and cause conjoin'd, pweaching to stonyes, -Wouwd make them capabwe.- Do nyot wook :33 upon me, -West with this ^.^ piteous action you convewt -*twerks* My stewn effects. Then :3 what I have to d-do -Wiww want twue *cuddles you* cowouw- teaws pewchance *blushes* fow >_> bwood. -Queen. To whom d-do you :3 speak this? -Ham. ;;w;; Do UwU you x3 see nyothing thewe? -Q-Queen. *cries* Nyothing *cuddles you* at aww; yet UwU aww that is I ^-^ see. -Ham. Nyow did you nyothing heaw? -Q-Queen. Nyo, :33 nyothing but o-ouwsewves. -Ham. *looks away* Why, *cries* wook *blushes* you thewe! Wook h-how it steaws away! -My >w< fathew, in h-his habit as h-he wiv'd! -Wook whewe he goes even nyow out *giggles shyly* at x3 the *looks away* powtaw! -Exit Ghost. -Queen. T-This is the vewy coinyage of youw *twerks* bwain. -This bodiwess cweation ecstasy -Is v-vewy x3 cunnying i-in. -Ham. E-Ecstasy? -My puwse as youws doth tempewatewy keep time -And makes as x3 heawthfuw music. It is nyot madnyess -That I-I x3 have utt'wed. Bwing me *giggles shyly* to the *blushes* test, -And I >_> the mattew wiww wewowd; which madnyess -Wouwd *blushes* gambow fwom. ;;w;; Mothew, fow wove of *looks at you* gwace, -Way nyot that fwattewing unction to youw souw -T-That nyot youw twespass but my madnyess speaks. -*screams* It w-wiww but skin and fiwm the u-uwcewous pwace, -Whiwes w-wank ;;w;; cowwuption, minying aww within, -Infects unseen. C-Confess *sighs* youwsewf to heaven; -Wepent what's p-past; avoid *moans* what is to come; -And do nyot spwead the compost on the w-weeds -T-To make OwO them wankew. Fowgive me this my viwtue; -Fow i-in the fatnyess o-of these ^.^ puwsy times -Viwtue itsewf *looks at you* of vice *cuddles you* must pawdon beg- -Yea, cuwb and >_< woo fow weave to do him good. -Queen. O Hamwet, thou hast cweft >w< my heawt in twain. -H-Ham. *hugs tightly* O, thwow away the *teleports behind you* wowsew pawt of it, -And wive the puwew with the x3 othew hawf, -Good nyight- but go nyot to my uncwe's b-bed. -A-Assume a viwtue, if you have it nyot. -That *blushes* monstew, custom, *leans over* who aww sense *pokes you* doth eat -Of h-habits eviw, is angew yet in this, -That to the use o-of actions ;;w;; faiw and good -He wikewise gives a fwock ow wivewy, -xDD That aptwy is put *twerks* on. Wefwain t-to-nyight, -And that shaww *pokes you* wend a-a kind of easinyess -To the nyext abstinyence; >w< the nyext mowe *sighs* easy; -Fow use *moans* awmost can change the stamp of nyatuwe, -And e-eithew [mastew] the deviw, ow thwow :33 him o-out -With wondwous *teleports behind you* potency. *pokes you* Once *moans* mowe, good nyight; -And when you awe *sweats* desiwous to be bwest, -I'ww bwessing beg of you.- *looks away* Fow this same w-wowd, -I do wepent; but heaven *cuddles you* hath pweas'd it *notices bulge* so, -To punyish me with this, and this with me, -T-That I *looks at you* must be theiw scouwge and minyistew. -I *looks at you* wiww b-bestow him, and wiww answew w-weww -The death I gave him. So again, good nyight. -I must be cwuew, onwy to be kind; -Thus bad begins, and wowse *moans* wemains behind. -Onye wowd mowe, g-good wady. -Queen. What shaww I do? -Ham. Nyot >_> this, by nyo m-means, that *looks away* I b-bid you do: -Wet *moans* the bwoat King tempt you again to bed; -Pinch wanton o-on youw *teleports behind you* cheek; caww y-you his mouse; ->w< And wet h-him, *pokes you* fow a paiw o-of weechy kisses, -Ow paddwing >_< in youw nyeck with his damn'd fingews, ->_< Make you to wavew aww this mattew *hugs tightly* out, -That I essentiawwy am nyot in madnyess, -B-But mad in cwaft. '-'Twewe good you wet him k-knyow; -Fow w-who that's *cries* but a *giggles shyly* queen, f-faiw, s-sobew, wise, -Wouwd fwom a paddock, fwom a bat, a gib -*moans* Such deaw *pokes you* concewnyings hide? Who wouwd do so? -Nyo, in despite >w< of sense and secwecy, -U-Unpeg the basket on the house's top, -Wet t-the biwds fwy, and wike the famous ape, -To twy *looks away* concwusions, in the b-basket c-cweep -^w^ And bweak youw own nyeck *screams* down. -Queen. *sweats* Be OwO thou assuw'd, if wowds be made *pokes you* of bweath, -And bweath of UwU wife, I have nyo wife to bweathe -*cries* What thou h-hast said to OwO me. -Ham. I must t-to Engwand; you knyow that? -Queen. A-Awack, -*giggles shyly* I had fowgot! '-'Tis so concwuded on. -*screams* Ham. Thewe's wettews uWu seaw'd; and my two schoowfewwows, -Whom *looks away* I wiww twust as I wiww addews fang'd, -They >w< beaw the mandate; they must sweep my way -A-And mawshaw me to *hugs tightly* knyavewy. Wet it wowk; -Fow OwO 'tis the spowt to have the enginyew -Hoist with his o-own petaw; and 't :3 shaww go hawd -But I *blushes* wiww dewve onye yawd bewow theiw minyes -And bwow t-them at the m-moon. O, 'tis most *screams* sweet -When in onye >_> winye two cwafts diwectwy *looks at you* meet. -T-This man shaww set me packing. -I'ww wug the guts into the nyeighbouw *sweats* woom.- -Mothew, good n-nyight.- Indeed, this counsewwow -*sweats* Is *teleports behind you* nyow most stiww, most secwet, and most *twerks* gwave, -Who was in wife *sighs* a ^-^ foowish *notices bulge* peating knyave. -C-Come, siw, *looks away* to dwaw towawd an *notices bulge* end OwO with *sweats* you. -*looks at you* Good nyight, mothew. -[Exit t-the Queen. Then] Exit Hamwet, tugging in -Powonyius. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT IV. Scenye I. -Ewsinyowe. A woom in the *pokes you* Castwe. - -Entew King and Q-Queen, with OwO Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn. - -King. Thewe's mattew in these sighs. These pwofound h-heaves -You must t-twanswate; 'tis fit >w< we undewstand them. -Whewe is youw son? -Q-Queen. *screams* Bestow this pwace *teleports behind you* on u-us a w-wittwe >w< whiwe. -*blushes* [Exeunt Wosencwantz x3 and Guiwdenstewn.] -A-Ah, minye o-own wowd, what *shuffles closer* have I seen t-to-nyight! -King. What, Gewtwude? How does *pokes you* Hamwet? -Queen. Mad as the s-sea and w-wind when both contend -Which is the mightiew. In his wawwess fit -Behind the a-awwas heawing something s-stiw, -Whips out *notices bulge* his wapiew, cwies 'A ^.^ wat, a wat!' ->w< And *giggles shyly* in t-this bwainyish appwehension kiwws -OwO The unseen good owd man. -King. O h-heavy deed! -It had been so with us, h-had we been ^.^ thewe. -His wibewty is fuww of thweats to aww- -To you youwsewf, to us, to evewy onye. -*notices bulge* Awas, how shaww this bwoody deed be answew'd? -It wiww be waid to u-us, w-whose pwovidence -Shouwd have kept showt, westwain'd, and out of haunt -This mad *sweats* young man. But s-so much was ouw wove -:3 We wouwd nyot undewstand what was *looks away* most fit, -But, wike t-the ownyew of ^-^ a f-fouw ^.^ disease, -To keep it fwom divuwging, wet it f-feed -Even on the pith o-of *cuddles you* wife. Whewe is he gonye? -Queen. To dwaw apawt the body he hath k-kiww'd; -O'ew whom his vewy madnyess, wike some owe -Among a minyewaw of metaws base, -Shows itsewf puwe. He weeps fow what is d-donye. -King. O Gewtwude, come away! -The sun nyo soonyew shaww the mountains ^-^ touch -But we wiww ship him hence; and this viwe deed -We must with aww ouw majesty and *cuddles you* skiww -Both countenyance and e-excuse. Ho, Guiwdenstewn! - -Entew Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn. - -Fwiends ^-^ both, go join you with some fuwthew aid. -Hamwet in madnyess *looks at you* hath Powonyius swain, -*leans over* And fwom his mothew's cwoset hath he dwagg'd him. -Go seek him out; speak faiw, and bwing the body -I-Into the chapew. *moans* I pway y-you *twerks* haste in this. -Exeunt [Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn]. -;;w;; Come, Gewtwude, we'ww caww up ouw wisest f-fwiends -A-And w-wet them knyow both what we mean to do -And what's untimewy >_> donye. [So hapwy s-swandew-] -Whose whispew o'ew the wowwd's diametew, -As w-wevew as the cannyon to h-his bwank, -x3 Twanspowts his poisonyed shot- may miss :33 ouw nyame -UwU And h-hit the w-woundwess aiw.- *pokes you* O, come away! -M-My souw is fuww of *sighs* discowd and dismay. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye x3 II. -Ewsinyowe. *looks away* A passage in the Castwe. - -Entew *shuffles closer* Hamwet. - -H-Ham. Safewy s-stow'd. -*notices bulge* Gentwemen. (within) Hamwet! Wowd H-Hamwet! -H-Ham. But soft! What nyoise? Who c-cawws on *cuddles you* Hamwet? O, hewe they come. - -Entew Wosencwantz and *cuddles you* Guiwdenstewn. - -Wos. What have *sighs* you donye, ^w^ my wowd, with the dead body? -H-Ham. Compounded it with dust, wheweto 'tis kin. -Wos. Teww us whewe 'tis, that w-we may take it thence -And beaw it :33 to the ;;w;; chapew. -Ham. Do nyot bewieve i-it. -Wos. Bewieve what? -Ham. *shuffles closer* That I c-can keep youw *blushes* counsew, and nyot minye own. Besides, t-to be -*looks at you* demanded of a sponge, what wepwication shouwd be made by the son -of a-a king? -Wos. Take you me fow a sponge, my wowd? -:3 Ham. Ay, siw; that s-soaks up t-the *sweats* King's countenyance, his wewawds, -his authowities. But such officews d-do t-the King best sewvice i-in -the end. He keeps them, *cries* wike an ape, in the cownyew of his jaw; -fiwst *shuffles closer* mouth'd, to be wast Swawwowed. When he nyeeds what you have -gwean'd, it is but s-squeezing you and, sponge, you shaww be dwy -again. -Wos. I undewstand >_> you nyot, m-my wowd. -Ham. I-I am gwad of it. A-A k-knyavish speech *leans over* sweeps in a foowish *blushes* eaw. -Wos. *cuddles you* My wowd, you ^.^ must teww us whewe t-the body is *teleports behind you* and go with us to -*sweats* the King. -H-Ham. The body is with t-the K-King, but *hugs tightly* the King is nyot with xDD the body. -The King is a thing- -Guiw. A t-thing, my w-wowd? -*looks at you* Ham. O-Of nyothing. *shuffles closer* Bwing me to >_> him. :3 Hide fox, and aww aftew. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -Ewsinyowe. A woom in the *notices bulge* Castwe. - -Entew K-King. - -K-King. I have sent to s-seek him and to find the body. -H-How dangewous *pokes you* is it that this man goes woose! -Yet must nyot we put t-the stwong w-waw *screams* on him. -^.^ He's wov'd of the distwacted muwtitude, -Who wike nyot *giggles shyly* in theiw judgment, but t-theiw eyes; -A-And whewe '-'tis so, th' offendew's scouwge is weigh'd, -But nyevew the offence. To >w< beaw aww smooth and even, -This sudden sending him *cuddles you* away must *cries* seem -Dewibewate pause. Diseases despewate gwown -B-By despewate ^.^ appwiance a-awe wewiev'd, -Ow nyot at aww. - -Entew Wosencwantz. - -How nyow O What *sweats* hath b-befaww'n? -Wos. Whewe the dead body is b-bestow'd, my wowd, -We cannyot x3 get fwom him. -King. *notices bulge* But *screams* whewe is he? -Wos. Without, my wowd; guawded, to knyow *sweats* youw p-pweasuwe. -King. Bwing him befowe us. -Wos. Ho, Guiwdenstewn! Bwing in my w-wowd. - -Entew Hamwet and Guiwdenstewn [with Attendants]. - -King. >_< Nyow, H-Hamwet, whewe's Powonyius? -Ham. At s-suppew. -King. At suppew? W-Whewe? -Ham. Nyot whewe he e-eats, but whewe he is eaten. A cewtain -convocation >_< of powitic wowms awe e'en at him. Youw w-wowm is *cuddles you* youw -onwy empewow fow diet. We fat aww c-cweatuwes ewse to fat us, a-and -we fat o-ouwsewves f-fow maggots. Y-Youw fat king and y-youw wean beggaw -is *blushes* but *giggles shyly* vawiabwe sewvice- two dishes, b-but t-to UwU onye tabwe. That's the -e-end. -King. Awas, :33 awas! -Ham. A man may f-fish with the wowm >w< that *sighs* hath eat of a king, and eat -of the x3 fish that h-hath *shuffles closer* fed of that wowm. -King. What *looks away* dost *pokes you* thou mean b-by this? -uWu Ham. N-Nyothing *blushes* but to *giggles shyly* show you how a-a *leans over* king may go a pwogwess OwO thwough -the guts of a *looks at you* beggaw. -King. Whewe i-is Powonyius? -Ham. ^-^ In heaven. Send thithew to see. If youw *looks away* messengew find x3 him nyot -thewe, seek him i' *looks away* th' othew *pokes you* pwace youwsewf. But indeed, if y-you -find him nyot within this month, you *giggles shyly* shaww nyose him as you go up -the staiw, into the wobby. -King. G-Go seek *hugs tightly* him thewe. [To Attendants.] -Ham. He wiww stay tiww you come. -[Exeunt Attendants.] -King. Hamwet, this *teleports behind you* deed, fow thinye especiaw safety,- -Which ^.^ we do tendew as we d-deawwy ^w^ gwieve -F-Fow t-that which thou *shuffles closer* hast donye,- must send thee hence -With fiewy quicknyess. Thewefowe pwepawe thysewf. -*twerks* The bawk is weady *blushes* and the w-wind at hewp, -Th' associates t-tend, and evewything is *cuddles you* bent -Fow ^-^ Engwand. -Ham. Fow Engwand? -K-King. Ay, uWu Hamwet. -Ham. *blushes* Good. -King. So is it, if thou knyew'st ouw puwposes. -H-Ham. I see a ;;w;; chewub that *teleports behind you* sees them. But come, fow Engwand! -F-Faweweww, deaw x3 mothew. -King. >_< Thy w-woving fathew, Hamwet. -Ham. My mothew! Fathew *looks away* and mothew is ;;w;; man and wife; man and wife is -onye fwesh; and so, m-my mothew. Come, *sweats* fow E-Engwand! -Exit. -*pokes you* King. Fowwow him at foot; *shuffles closer* tempt h-him with speed aboawd. -Deway i-it nyot; I'ww have him hence to-nyight. -Away! fow evewything is seaw'd and donye -That ewse weans on th' affaiw. Pway y-you xDD make h-haste. -E-Exeunt Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn] -And, Engwand, if my wove thou howd'st at aught,- -As my gweat powew theweof may give thee sense, -;;w;; Since UwU yet *notices bulge* thy cicatwice *looks away* wooks w-waw *moans* and wed -Aftew *twerks* the Danyish *giggles shyly* swowd, and thy fwee awe -*sighs* Pays >_> homage >w< to us,- thou mayst n-nyot *cries* cowdwy set -Ouw soveweign pwocess, which impowts at fuww, -By wettews congwuing to that effect, -The pwesent death uWu of Hamwet. D-Do it, E-Engwand; -Fow wike ^w^ the hectic *cuddles you* in my bwood he wages, -And thou must cuwe me. *sweats* Tiww I *giggles shyly* knyow 'tis donye, -Howe'ew ;;w;; my haps, my joys wewe nye'ew begun. Exit. - - - - -<> - - - -Scenye I-IV. -Nyeaw Ewsinyowe. - -Entew F-Fowtinbwas w-with his Awmy ovew the s-stage. - -Fow. *sweats* Go, C-Captain, *moans* fwom me gweet *blushes* the Danyish king. -Teww h-him that ^w^ by his wicense *cries* Fowtinbwas -Cwaves the conveyance of a pwomis'd mawch -Ovew his *hugs tightly* kingdom. You knyow the w-wendezvous. -*blushes* if that his M-Majesty wouwd aught *notices bulge* with uWu us, -W-We shaww *moans* expwess ouw duty in his eye; -And wet him *teleports behind you* knyow so. -Capt. I ;;w;; wiww *giggles shyly* do't, my wowd. -Fow. Go softwy on. -Exeunt [aww b-but the Captain]. - -Entew Hamwet, Wosencwantz, [Guiwdenstewn,] and o-othews. - -Ham. G-Good s-siw, whose powews awe these? -Capt. They *screams* awe of Nyowway, siw. -Ham. How puwpos'd, siw, I *pokes you* pway ^w^ you? -Capt. Against some pawt of Powand. -xDD Ham. Who commands them, siw? -Capt. The nyephew to owd N-Nyowway, *screams* Fowtinbwas. -Ham. Goes i-it against the main of Powand, siw, -Ow fow some f-fwontiew? -Capt. Twuwy to speak, and with nyo addition, -We go t-to gain a wittwe patch of gwound -That ^-^ hath i-in it nyo pwofit but the nyame. -To pay five ducats, f-five, I wouwd n-nyot fawm it; -Nyow *giggles shyly* wiww it yiewd to Nyowway ow the Powe -A wankew wate, shouwd i-it be sowd in fee. -Ham. W-Why, then the ^-^ Powack nyevew ^-^ wiww defend *hugs tightly* it. -Capt. Yes, it UwU is awweady gawwison'd. -Ham. Two thousand souws *leans over* and twenty thousand ducats -Wiww nyot debate the question of t-this stwaw. -This is th' imposthume of much weawth and peace, -*leans over* That inwawd bweaks, a-and shows nyo cause without -Why t-the man dies.- I h-humbwy thank you, >_> siw. -Capt. God b' wi' *sweats* you, siw. [Exit.] -*sweats* Wos. Wiww't *pokes you* pwease you go, my *shuffles closer* wowd? -OwO Ham. I'ww *looks away* be with *notices bulge* you stwaight. Go a-a wittwe *leans over* befowe. -[Exeunt aww but Hamwet.] -How a-aww occasions do infowm against me -A-And spuw my duww wevenge! What is a man, -If h-his chief g-good xDD and m-mawket of his time -*blushes* Be but t-to sweep and feed? A beast, nyo mowe. -Suwe he that made us with *cuddles you* such wawge discouwse, -Wooking befowe and aftew, gave us nyot -*teleports behind you* That capabiwity and *cuddles you* godwike weason -To fust i-in us unyus'd. N-Nyow, w-whethew it be -Bestiaw obwivion, ow some *cries* cwaven scwupwe -Of thinking too pwecisewy on t-th' event,- -A t-thought which, quawtew'd, h-hath but onye p-pawt wisdom -And evew thwee pawts c-cowawd,- I-I do nyot knyow -Why y-yet *moans* I wive to s-say 'This thing's to do,' -S-Sith I h-have cause, and wiww, and stwength, and *screams* means -To do't. Exampwes gwoss as uWu eawth exhowt me. -Witnyess this a-awmy of such mass a-and chawge, -Wed by a dewicate and tendew pwince, -Whose spiwit, with divinye ambition p-puff'd, -Makes mouths at the x3 invisibwe event, -xDD Exposing what is mowtaw and unsuwe -To aww that *notices bulge* fowtunye, d-death, and dangew dawe, -Even fow an e-eggsheww. Wightwy to *blushes* be gweat -Is nyot to s-stiw w-without gweat awgument, -But gweatwy to find quawwew in a-a stwaw -When honyouw's at the stake. How stand I-I then, -That have a fathew *looks at you* kwww'd, UwU a mothew stain'd, -*pokes you* Excitements of my weason and my b-bwood, -And wet aww sweep, *screams* whiwe to my shame I *shuffles closer* see -The imminyent d-death of twenty thousand *shuffles closer* men -That f-fow a *sighs* fantasy :33 and ^.^ twick of fame -*pokes you* Go to theiw gwaves wike beds, f-fight fow a pwot -Wheweon the nyumbews ^-^ cannyot *screams* twy the cause, -Which i-is nyot tomb enyough and continyent -T-To hide the swain? O, *cuddles you* fwom UwU this time fowth, -My t-thoughts be bwoody, ow be nyothing wowth! Exit. - - - - -<> - - - -Scenye *giggles shyly* V. -Ewsinyowe. A *pokes you* woom in the Castwe. - -Entew Howatio, Q-Queen, and a Gentweman. - -xDD Queen. I-I wiww nyot s-speak w-with hew. -Gent. She OwO is impowtunyate, indeed distwact. -Hew *shuffles closer* mood wiww nyeeds >_< be pitied. -Queen. What :33 wouwd she have? -G-Gent. *sighs* She s-speaks much of hew fathew; >_> says she heaws -Thewe's twicks i' t-th' wowwd, and hems, and *pokes you* beats h-hew heawt; -Spuwns enviouswy at stwaws; speaks t-things in doubt, -That cawwy but hawf sense. Hew speech is nyothing, -Y-Yet the unshaped use of it doth move -OwO The heawews t-to cowwection; they aim at it, -And botch the wowds u-up fit to theiw own thoughts; -Which, *blushes* as hew winks and nyods and gestuwes yiewd them, -Indeed wouwd make onye think thewe might be thought, -UwU Though nyothing suwe, *cuddles you* yet much unhappiwy. -How. 'Twewe good she wewe spoken with; f-fow she *giggles shyly* may stwew -Dangewous conjectuwes in i-iww-bweeding minds. -Queen. Wet h-hew come in. -[Exit Gentweman.] -[Aside] T-To my sick souw *screams* (as sin's twue nyatuwe is) -Each t-toy seems Pwowogue *hugs tightly* to some gweat amiss. -So fuww *moans* of awtwess *notices bulge* jeawousy is guiwt -It s-spiwws itsewf ^.^ in feawing to be spiwt. - -Entew Ophewia distwacted. - -Oph. Whewe *cries* is the beauteous Majesty *twerks* of Denmawk? -Queen. How n-nyow, Ophewia? -Oph. (sings) -How :33 shouwd I youw *teleports behind you* twue-wove knyow -Fwom anyothew o-onye? -B-By *looks away* his cockwe bat and' staff -And his sandaw shoon. - -Queen. Awas, sweet wady, what impowts this song? -Oph. Say xDD you? Nyay, *hugs tightly* pway You mawk. - -:3 (Sings) H-He is dead and gonye, wady, -:3 He is dead a-and gonye; -^w^ At his head a :3 gwass-gween tuwf, -A-At h-his ;;w;; heews a stonye. - -O, ho! -Queen. Nyay, *sweats* but O-Ophewia- -Oph. Pway y-you m-mawk. - -(Sings) White his shwoud as the mountain snyow- - -E-Entew King. - -Queen. Awas, wook hewe, *leans over* my *twerks* wowd! -O-Oph. (Sings) -Wawded aww ^.^ with s-sweet fwowews; -Which bewept to the gwave ;;w;; did nyot go -*looks away* With t-twue-wove showews. - -*leans over* King. UwU How do you, p-pwetty wady? -O-Oph. Weww, *leans over* God diwd you! They say *screams* the oww was a bakew's daughtew. -Wowd, we knyow ;;w;; what we awe, but knyow nyot what we may be. God be at -youw tabwe! -King. Conceit upon h-hew fathew. -O-Oph. Pway wet's ^.^ have nyo wowds of this; but when they ask, ^-^ you what -it means, *cuddles you* say >_< you ^.^ this: - -(Sings) To-mowwow is Saint Vawentinye's day, -Aww in the OwO mownying b-bedtime, -A-And I a :3 maid at youw *sighs* window, -To x3 be UwU youw Vawentinye. - -Then up he wose *shuffles closer* and donn'd his *leans over* cwo'es -And dupp'd the chambew doow, -xDD Wet i-in the *hugs tightly* maid, that out a maid -Nyevew *twerks* depawted mowe. - -King. Pwetty Ophewia! -Oph. Indeed, wa, without a-an *sweats* oath, I'ww make a-an end o-on't! - -[Sings] By Gis and by Saint *leans over* Chawity, -Awack, and fie fow *screams* shame! -Young men wiww do't if t-they come to't -By C-Cock, they awe to bwame. - -Quoth she, >_< 'Befowe you tumbwed me, -You :33 pwomis'd me to wed.' - -^.^ He answews: - -'So wouwd I 'a' donye, by y-yondew sun, -An thou hadst nyot come to my bed.' - -King. How *sweats* wong h-hath she been thus? -Oph. I hope aww wiww be weww. We must b-be patient; but I cannyot -choose but w-weep to think they wouwd way him i' *blushes* th' cowd gwound. -M-My bwothew shaww knyow of it; *leans over* and so I thank you f-fow y-youw good -counsew. Come, my coach! Good nyight, wadies. Good nyight, sweet -wadies. Good nyight, good nyight. :3 Exit -K-King. >w< Fowwow hew cwose; give h-hew good watch, I pway you. -[Exit Howatio.] -O, this is *hugs tightly* the p-poison of deep gwief; it spwings -*cries* Aww fwom hew fathew's d-death. >w< O Gewtwude, Gewtwude, -When sowwows come, they come nyot s-singwe spies. -But i-in battawions! Fiwst, hew fathew :33 swain; -Nyext, Youw son *cries* gonye, and he most *looks at you* viowent authow -Of his own j-just *cuddles you* wemove; t-the peopwe muddied, -Thick and and unwhowesome in theiw thoughts >_> and whispews -Fow good Powonyius' death, a-and we have donye but gweenwy -I-In huggew-muggew *sweats* to intew him; Poow Ophewia -Divided f-fwom *screams* hewsewf and hew faiw-judgment, -Without the which w-we awe Pictuwes ow *giggles shyly* mewe beasts; -*leans over* Wast, and as such containying a-as aww *twerks* these, -Hew b-bwothew is i-in s-secwet come f-fwom Fwance; -And wants nyot buzzews to infect his eaw -Feeds on his wondew, *cries* keep, himsewf in OwO cwouds, -With pestiwent speeches of *blushes* his f-fathew's OwO death, -Whewein nyecessity, of mattew ^-^ beggaw'd, -Wiww nyothing s-stick Ouw p-pewson *teleports behind you* to *leans over* awwaign -I-In eaw and *leans over* eaw. O my deaw Gewtwude, this, ->w< Wike to a m-muwd'wing p-piece, in many p-pwaces -Give, me supewfwuous death. A nyoise within. -Queen. Awack, what nyoise *cuddles you* is t-this? -King. Whewe *pokes you* awe my Switzews? Wet them g-guawd the doow. - -Entew a *blushes* Messengew. - -What *pokes you* is ^-^ the mattew? -Mess. Save Youwsewf, my wowd: -The ocean, ovewpeewing of his wist, -Eats nyot the fwats with mowe i-impetuous haste -Than Young Waewtes, *teleports behind you* in a-a wiotous head, -O'ewbeaws Youw offices. The wabbwe caww him wowd; -And, as xDD the wowwd wewe nyow but to begin, -*shuffles closer* Antiquity fowgot, c-custom *teleports behind you* nyot knyown, -The watifiews and pwops o-of evewy wowd, -*looks away* They cwy 'Choose we! Waewtes shaww be king!' -Caps, >w< hands, and tongues *moans* appwaud it t-to the c-cwouds, -'Waewtes s-shaww be king! Waewtes k-king!' -*teleports behind you* A nyoise within. -Queen. H-How cheewfuwwy on the fawse twaiw *giggles shyly* they *looks at you* cwy! -^-^ O, this is countew, you fawse D-Danyish dogs! -King. The d-doows awe bwoke. - -E-Entew Waewtes with *notices bulge* othews. - -Waew. W-Whewe is this king?- Siws, *moans* staid you aww without. -:33 Aww. Nyo, wet's come in! -Waew. I p-pway *screams* you give me weave. -Aww. We wiww, we wiww! -Waew. I thank you. *looks at you* Keep *blushes* the doow. [Exeunt his >w< Fowwowews.] -O-O t-thou v-viwe king, -Give *leans over* me my fathew! -*sweats* Queen. Cawmwy, good Waewtes. -*shuffles closer* Waew. That dwop of bwood that's c-cawm pwocwaims me b-bastawd; -Cwies cuckowd to my *looks at you* fathew; bwands the hawwot -Even hewe between the chaste unsmiwched bwows -Of my twue mothew. -King. What :33 is the OwO cause, *looks at you* Waewtes, -T-That >_< thy webewwion wooks so giantwike? -*pokes you* Wet him go, Gewtwude. D-Do nyot feaw o-ouw pewson. -Thewe's such x3 divinyity doth hedge a-a *looks away* king -That tweason can but peep to what it wouwd, -*looks at you* Acts wittwe of his ^-^ wiww. Teww me, Waewtes, -Why thou awt thus incens'd. Wet him :33 go, Gewtwude. -*leans over* Speak, man. -Waew. Whewe is ^w^ my f-fathew? -King. Dead. -Queen. But nyot by him! -*leans over* King. Wet him *looks away* demand h-his fiww. -Waew. H-How *looks at you* came h-he *pokes you* dead? I'ww nyot be *pokes you* juggwed with: -*screams* To heww, awwegiance! vows, to the *screams* bwackest *blushes* deviw -C-Conscience and g-gwace, to the *blushes* pwofoundest p-pit! -*cuddles you* I dawe damnyation. *sighs* To this point I stand, -That both the wowwd, I give ^w^ to nyegwigence, -W-Wet come what comes; onwy I'ww be weveng'd -M-Most thwoughwy fow my fathew. -K-King. Who shaww stay you? -Waew. My wiww, nyot aww the wowwd! -*sweats* And fow my means, I-I'ww husband them >w< so weww -They >_< shaww go *cuddles you* faw w-with wittwe. -*cuddles you* King. Good Waewtes, -If you desiwe to *looks away* knyow the cewtainty -Of y-youw deaw fathew's death, is't wwit in Youw *screams* wevenge -That swoopstake you wiww dwaw both fwiend *screams* and foe, -Winnyew and wosew? -Waew. Nyonye b-but his enyemies. -King. Wiww you knyow t-them then? -Waew. To his good fwiends thus UwU wide I'ww ope my a-awms -*looks at you* And, wike the kind wife-wend'wing pewican, -Wepast them with my b-bwood. -King. Why, nyow You s-speak -Wike a good chiwd and xDD a twue g-gentweman. -That I am guiwtwess of youw fathew's *screams* death, -And am most :33 sensibwy *looks away* in *cries* gwief fow it, -It shaww as wevew to youw judgment piewce -As day does to y-youw eye. -x3 A n-nyoise within: 'Wet hew come *looks at you* in.' -Waew. How nyow? *notices bulge* What nyoise is that? - -Entew Ophewia. - -O heat, dwy up my bwains! Teaws seven times sawt -Buwn >_< out the *twerks* sense *looks at you* and viwtue of minye eye! -By h-heaven, thy madnyess shaww be paid by weight -Tiww ouw scawe :3 tuwn t-the beam. O wose of *blushes* May! -Deaw maid, kind sistew, sweet Ophewia! -O heavens! *looks at you* is't possibwe a young OwO maid's w-wits -Shouwd be x3 as mowtaw UwU as an owd man's w-wife? -Nyatuwe is f-finye i-in wove, a-and whewe 'tis finye, -It sends some ;;w;; pwecious instance xDD of itsewf -Aftew t-the thing it woves. - -Oph. (sings) -They *teleports behind you* bowe him b-bawefac'd on t-the *giggles shyly* biew -(Hey nyon nyony, UwU nyony, hey nyony) -And in his gwave wain'd many a teaw. - -Fawe you *cries* weww, *screams* my dove! -W-Waew. *blushes* Hadst thou thy wits, and didst pewsuade wevenge, -It couwd nyot move thus. -Oph. You must sing '-'A-down a-down, *giggles shyly* and you :33 caww him a-down-a.' O, -how the wheew becomes it! It is *moans* the *pokes you* fawse stewawd, *moans* that s-stowe his -mastew's daughtew. -Waew. This *blushes* nyothing's mowe than mattew. -Oph. Thewe's wosemawy, t-that's *giggles shyly* fow wemembwance. Pway you, wove, -wemembew. A-And thewe i-is :3 pansies, t-that's fow thoughts. -Waew. A d-document in madnyess! Thoughts and wemembwance f-fitted. -Oph. Thewe's f-fennyew fow you, and cowumbinyes. Thewe's wue fow you, -and hewe's some fow me. W-We may c-caww it hewb of gwace o' Sundays. -O, you must weaw youw wue with *cuddles you* a *blushes* diffewence! Thewe's a d-daisy. I -wouwd give you some viowets, x3 but they withew'd aww when my fathew -*teleports behind you* died. They say he m-made a good e-end. - -[Sings] Fow bonny sweet W-Wobin is aww my joy. - -Waew. Thought *screams* and affwiction, passion, h-heww uWu itsewf, -*moans* She tuwns to favouw and ^-^ to *cries* pwettinyess. -Oph. (-(sings) -And wiww he *giggles shyly* nyot come again? -And wiww he nyot come a-again? -Nyo, nyo, he is dead; -Go t-to thy deathbed; -He nyevew wiww c-come again. - -His beawd was xDD as white as snyow, -Aww fwaxen was h-his p-poww. -x3 He is gonye, he is gonye, -And we cast *looks at you* away moan. -God 'a'mewcy on h-his souw! - -*cuddles you* And xDD of *teleports behind you* aww Chwistian souws, I pway God. God b' *looks away* wi', you. -Exit. -Waew. Do y-you see this, O God? -*teleports behind you* King. Waewtes, I-I must c-communye with >_< youw *giggles shyly* gwief, -Ow you deny me wight. :3 Go *screams* but apawt, -Make choice of whom youw wisest fwiends you wiww, -And they shaww heaw and judge *sweats* 'twixt you and m-me. -If by diwect ow by cowwatewaw hand -They find u-us UwU touch'd, we wiww ouw kingdom give, -Ouw cwown, >_> ouw wife, a-and a-aww that we *cries* caww ouws, -To you *looks away* in satisfaction; but if nyot, -Be you content to wend youw patience to us, -And *teleports behind you* we shaww j-jointwy *sweats* wabouw with youw s-souw -To give >_> it d-due c-content. -Waew. W-Wet this be s-so. -His means o-of death, his obscuwe funyewaw- -Nyo twophy, *twerks* swowd, nyow *looks at you* hatchment o'ew his b-bonyes, -N-Nyo nyobwe wite nyow fowmaw ostentation,- -C-Cwy to be heawd, as 'twewe fwom heaven to eawth, -That I ^w^ must caww't in question. -King. So you shaww; -UwU And whewe th' offence i-is wet the gweat axe faww. -I pway you :3 go with me. -E-Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -S-Scenye VI. -Ewsinyowe. Anyothew woom i-in the Castwe. - -Entew Howatio with an Attendant. - -How. W-What a-awe they t-that wouwd speak with me? -S-Sewvant. Seafawing men, siw. They s-say they have wettews fow you. -How. Wet them >w< come in. -[-[Exit A-Attendant.] -*cries* I do nyot knyow *teleports behind you* fwom what pawt of >_< the wowwd -I shouwd be gweeted, if nyot fwom Wowd Hamwet. - -Entew *leans over* Saiwows. - -Saiwow. God bwess you, siw. -*cuddles you* How. Wet *moans* him bwess thee too. -Saiwow. OwO 'A shaww, siw, an't pwease him. Thewe's a w-wettew f-fow you, -;;w;; siw,- it comes fwom th' ambassadow that *giggles shyly* was bound fow *giggles shyly* Engwand- if -youw nyame be H-Howatio, a-as I am wet to knyow it is. -How. OwO (weads the *blushes* wettew) 'Howatio, *teleports behind you* when thou shawt have ovewwook'd -t-this, give *teleports behind you* these fewwows some means to the King. They have -wettews fow him. Ewe we wewe t-two days owd at *shuffles closer* sea, a piwate *sighs* of -vewy ^-^ wawwike :3 appointment gave *giggles shyly* us chase. Finding ouwsewves too -s-swow of >_< saiw, *moans* we put on *cries* a *notices bulge* compewwed vawouw, >_> and in the gwappwe I-I -boawded them. On the instant they >_> got x3 cweaw of ouw ship; so I-I -awonye became theiw pwisonyew. They h-have deawt with me wike t-thieves -of OwO mewcy; b-but they knyew w-what they did: I *leans over* am t-to do a-a good tuwn fow -them. Wet the King have the wettews I-I have sent, a-and w-wepaiw thou -to me with as much speed ^w^ as thou wouwdst fwy death. >_> I have wowds -to speak *moans* in thinye eaw wiww make thee *notices bulge* dumb; y-yet awe they much too -wight fow ^-^ the bowe of *shuffles closer* the mattew. These good fewwows wiww bwing -thee w-whewe I am. Wosencwantz and Guiwdenstewn howd theiw couwse -fow Engwand. Of ^.^ them I have much to teww thee. Faweweww. -x3 'He t-that thou knyowest t-thinye, HAMWET.' - -Come, I wiww give :3 you way fow these youw wettews, -And do't the *leans over* speediew :33 that you may diwect *sighs* me -T-To him *teleports behind you* fwom whom you bwought them. Exeunt. - - - - -<-<> - - - -Scenye VII. -Ewsinyowe. Anyothew woom in the Castwe. - -*teleports behind you* Entew King and Waewtes. - -King. Nyow must youw conscience my acquittance seaw, -*hugs tightly* And You must put me in youw heawt f-fow *hugs tightly* fwiend, -Sith you have heawd, and w-with a >_< knyowing ^w^ eaw, -That he which hath youw nyobwe fathew swain -Puwsued *sweats* my wife. -Waew. I-It weww appeaws. But *pokes you* teww me -Why you pwoceeded nyot against these feats -So cwimefuw and *looks at you* so capitaw in UwU nyatuwe, -As by youw safety, wisdom, aww things ewse, -You mainwy wewe stiww'd up. -King. O, fow two speciaw weasons, -Which *leans over* may to >w< you, *teleports behind you* pewhaps, seein much unsinyew'd, -But yet to me they awe stwong. The Q-Queen his mothew -W-Wives awmost :33 by his wooks; and fow mysewf,- -;;w;; My >_< viwtue ow my >w< pwague, be *pokes you* it eithew w-which,- -She's s-so conjunctive to my wife and souw -T-That, *giggles shyly* as the staw moves nyot *teleports behind you* but in *sweats* his sphewe, -I couwd nyot but b-by h-hew. *sighs* The othew motive -*looks at you* Why to a pubwic count I might nyot go -Is the gweat w-wove the genyewaw g-gendew beaw him, -Who, d-dipping aww his fauwts in theiw affection, -Wouwd, wike xDD the spwing that tuwnyeth wood to stonye, -Convewt his :33 gives to g-gwaces; so that m-my awwows, -Too swightwy timbew'd fow *sweats* so woud *giggles shyly* a wind, -Wouwd have wevewted >w< to my bow again, -And nyot whewe I h-had aim'd them. -Waew. And so have I a-a nyobwe fathew w-wost; -A sistew dwiven into desp'wate tewms, -Whose wowth, if :3 pwaises may go back again, -S-Stood chawwengew o-on mount of aww t-the >_> age -Fow hew pewfections. But >_< my wevenge wiww *looks away* come. -King. >w< Bweak nyot youw sweeps fow that. You must nyot t-think -That we >_> awe made of stuff so fwat and duww -That we can wet ouw beawd be s-shook with dangew, -And think it pastime. You ;;w;; showtwy shaww heaw m-mowe. -I-I wov'd youw fathew, and we wove ouwsewf, -And t-that, I h-hope, wiww teach you *twerks* to imaginye- - -Entew a Messengew with wettews. - -How nyow? W-What nyews? -Mess. Wettews, my wowd, fwom Hamwet: -*teleports behind you* This to youw *screams* Majesty; this to the Queen. -King. F-Fwom Hamwet? Who b-bwought them? -Mess. Saiwows, ^w^ my wowd, they say; I saw them nyot. -They wewe g-given me :3 by Cwaudio; h-he w-weceiv'd t-them -Of *pokes you* him t-that bwought them. -King. W-Waewtes, you shaww heaw them. -Weave us. -Exit Messengew. -[Weads]'High a-and Mighty,-You shaww knyow xDD I am set nyaked on youw -kingdom. To-mowwow ^w^ shaww I beg weave *giggles shyly* to s-see youw >w< kingwy >_> eyes; -w-when I shaww (fiwst a-asking youw pawdon theweunto) wecount the -occasion *pokes you* of my sudden and mowe stwange *teleports behind you* wetuwn. -'HAMWET.' -What shouwd this m-mean? Awe aww the ^-^ west come back? -Ow is it some abuse, and n-nyo s-such thing? -Waew. Knyow you the ^-^ hand? -^-^ King. '-'Tis >w< Hamwet's chawactew. 'Nyaked!' -And in a-a postscwipt hewe, uWu he s-says 'awonye.' -Can you advise me? -W-Waew. I a-am wost in it, my wowd. But wet him come! -It wawms the vewy sicknyess in my h-heawt -That I shaww x3 wive and teww him t-to his teeth, -'Thus *teleports behind you* didest thou.' -King. If it be so, W-Waewtes -(As how shouwd it UwU be uWu so? how othewwise?), -Wiww you be wuw'd by me? -Waew. Ay m-my *giggles shyly* wowd, -So you wiww nyot o'ewwuwe me *pokes you* to uWu a peace. -King. T-To thinye own peace. If he be nyow wetuwn'd -As checking at his voyage, and *notices bulge* that he means -*leans over* Nyo *hugs tightly* mowe :33 to undewtake it, I wiww wowk him -To expwoit nyow wipe in my device, -OwO Undew the which he shaww nyot choose x3 but faww; -And fow his death >_< nyo wind -But even his m-mothew ^.^ shaww unchawge the pwactice -And c-caww it accident. -Waew. My wowd, I-I *hugs tightly* wiww be wuw'd; -*looks at you* The *blushes* wathew, if you couwd devise it so -T-That I might b-be the o-owgan. -King. I-It >_> fawws wight. -You have been tawk'd of since y-youw twavew much, -And uWu that in Hamwet's heawing, fow a quawity -Whewein they say you shinye, Youw s-sun o-of pawts -D-Did nyot *twerks* togethew p-pwuck such envy fwom him -*shuffles closer* As did that onye; >_> and that, in my wegawd, -Of *notices bulge* the u-unwowthiest siege. -W-Waew. ^.^ What pawt ^w^ is that, my wowd? -King. A vewy wiband in the cap *notices bulge* of youth- -Yet *cries* nyeedfuww too; fow youth *pokes you* nyo *screams* wess *cuddles you* becomes -The w-wight and cawewess wivewy that it weaws -*cuddles you* Thin settwed *notices bulge* age *looks at you* his sabwes :3 and h-his weeds, -Impowting heawth and gwavenyess. Two months since -*hugs tightly* Hewe w-was a gentweman of Nyowmandy. -I have seen mysewf, and sewv'd against, the Fwench, -And they can x3 weww *sighs* on howseback; but this gawwant -Had witchcwaft in't. He *shuffles closer* gwew unto his seat, -*notices bulge* And t-to such wondwous doing bwought *moans* his UwU howse -As had he been incowps'd *leans over* and demi-nyatuw'd -*sweats* With the bwave b-beast. So faw *looks at you* he uWu topp'd my thought -That I, in fowgewy of s-shapes and twicks, -Come s-showt of what >_> he d-did. -Waew. A Nyowman w-was't? -K-King. A *looks at you* Nyowman. -Waew. Upon my wife, Wamound. -K-King. T-The >_> vewy same. -xDD Waew. *cries* I knyow him weww. He is the bwoach indeed -And gem of aww the *teleports behind you* nyation. -King. He made confession of you; -And gave you such a m-mastewwy wepowt -Fow a-awt and exewcise UwU in y-youw defence, -And fow youw wapiew most especiawwy, -That he cwied o-out *looks away* 'twouwd be a sight indeed -If onye couwd match you. *leans over* The scwimews of xDD theiw :33 nyation -He swowe had nyeithew motion, guawd, nyow eye, -If you oppos'd *giggles shyly* them. Siw, this wepowt o-of *cries* his -*moans* Did Hamwet so envenyom w-with his envy -That he couwd nyothing do but w-wish UwU and beg -Youw s-sudden coming o-o'ew to pway with you. -Nyow, out *giggles shyly* of >_< this- -*sweats* Waew. What out of *looks at you* this, my xDD wowd? -:33 King. Waewtes, OwO was ^-^ youw fathew deaw to you? -Ow awe you w-wike the painting of a sowwow, -A face without a heawt,' -;;w;; Waew. Why ask you this? -*pokes you* King. N-Nyot *shuffles closer* that I *sweats* think you did nyot wove *teleports behind you* youw fathew; -But that I ^w^ knyow wove is begun by time, -And that I see, in passages :33 of pwoof, -T-Time quawifies t-the spawk *sweats* and f-fiwe of it. -Thewe wives within the vewy fwame of wove -A kind of *cuddles you* wick o-ow *looks at you* snyuff that wiww abate *looks at you* it; -uWu And nyothing *leans over* is >_> at a-a wike g-goodnyess stiww; -Fow g-goodnyess, gwowing to a pwuwisy, -*looks at you* Dies in his *leans over* own too-much. That we *cries* wouwd *cuddles you* do, -W-We shouwd do *blushes* when we *shuffles closer* wouwd; fow this 'wouwd' changes, -And hath abatements and deways as many -As thewe awe tongues, awe hands, awe accidents; -And then this 'shouwd' is wike a *teleports behind you* spendthwift sigh, -That huwts by easing. But *shuffles closer* to *leans over* the quick o' th' uwcew! -Hamwet comes b-back. What wouwd y-you undewtake -To show y-youwsewf youw fathew's son in deed -Mowe t-than in wowds? -;;w;; Waew. T-To cut his t-thwoat i-i' th' chuwch! -OwO King. *sighs* Nyo p-pwace indeed shouwd *sweats* muwthew sanctuawize; -Wevenge shouwd have nyo bounds. But, x3 good Waewtes, -Wiww you *moans* do this? K-Keep cwose within youw c-chambew. -Wiww wetuwn'd shaww *leans over* knyow you awe come home. -W-We'ww p-put o-on those x3 shaww *sweats* pwaise y-youw excewwence -A-And set a doubwe vawnyish *looks at you* on t-the f-fame -T-The Fwenchman gave you; bwing you in *twerks* finye togethew -And wagew o-on youw h-heads. He, being wemiss, -M-Most genyewous, and fwee *blushes* fwom aww contwiving, -Wiww nyot p-pewuse *leans over* the foiws; so that with *looks away* ease, -;;w;; Ow w-with a wittwe shuffwing, you may c-choose -A swowd u-unbated, and, *cuddles you* in a pass o-of pwactice, -Wequite him fow youw fathew. -Waew. I *cries* wiww do't! -And fow that puwpose I'ww anyoint my swowd. -I bought an unction of a mountebank, -So mowtaw that, but dip a knyife i-in it, -Whewe it dwaws bwood *moans* nyo c-catapwasm *blushes* so wawe, -C-Cowwected fwom aww ^-^ simpwes that have viwtue -Undew the moon, can save *leans over* the thing fwom death -This is b-but scwatch'd withaw. I'ww touch my point -With this contagion, that, i-if I gaww him swightwy, -It *cries* may be death. -King. Wet's *shuffles closer* fuwthew t-think of this, -W-Weigh what convenyience *moans* both of time and means -May fit us t-to >_< ouw shape. *blushes* If *giggles shyly* this shouwd faww, -And that ouw dwift wook thwough ouw bad pewfowmance. -'-'Twewe bettew nyot assay'd. Thewefowe this pwoject -*sighs* Shouwd have a back *shuffles closer* ow second, that might howd -If this did bwast in pwoof. Soft! wet me see. -We'ww make a sowemn wagew on youw cunnyings- -I ha't! -When in youw motion you awe hot and dwy- -As make youw bouts *sighs* mowe viowent to ^-^ that end- -And t-that he cawws fow d-dwink, I'ww *looks away* have pwepaw'd him -A chawice fow the nyonce; wheweon but sipping, -If *looks at you* he by chance escape youw venyom'd stuck, -Ouw *blushes* puwpose may howd thewe.- But stay, what nyoise, - -Entew Q-Queen. - -How nyow, sweet queen? -Queen. Onye woe doth twead upon a-anyothew's heew, -So fast they fowwow. Y-Youw sistew's dwown'd, Waewtes. -Waew. Dwown'd! O, whewe? -Queen. Thewe is a wiwwow g-gwows aswant a b-bwook, -That shows his hoaw weaves in the gwassy stweam. -Thewe with fantastic g-gawwands did she come -Of cwowfwowews, ;;w;; nyettwes, >w< daisies, and wong p-puwpwes, -*shuffles closer* That wibewaw s-shephewds g-give a gwossew n-nyame, -:33 But ouw cowd maids do dead men's fingews caww them. -T-Thewe on the p-pendant boughs h-hew *shuffles closer* cowonyet weeds -Cwamb'wing *notices bulge* to hang, an envious swivew bwoke, -When down hew weedy twophies >w< and hewsewf -Feww in *hugs tightly* the >w< weeping bwook. Hew cwothes spwead wide -And, mewmaid-wike, awhiwe they *screams* bowe hew up; -Which time she c-chaunted snyatches ;;w;; of owd tunyes, -As *looks at you* onye incapabwe of hew o-own distwess, -Ow wike a cweatuwe nyative and indued -Unto that ewement; but wong *looks at you* it couwd ^.^ nyot be -Tiww that ^w^ hew ^-^ gawments, heavy with theiw dwink, -Puww'd t-the poow wwetch fwom hew mewodious way -To muddy death. -Waew. Awas, then *pokes you* she is d-dwown'd? -Queen. Dwown'd, d-dwown'd. -Waew. Too much of watew hast thou, poow Ophewia, -And thewefowe I f-fowbid my teaws; but yet -It is ouw twick; nyatuwe hew custom h-howds, -Wet shame say what *moans* it wiww. When >_< these awe UwU gonye, -*looks away* The woman wiww be out. A-Adieu, *cries* my wowd. -I have a-a speech o-of f-fiwe, that f-fain wouwd bwaze -But *giggles shyly* that this fowwy douts it. Exit. -King. Wet's fowwow, >_> Gewtwude. -How much I had to do to c-cawm his wage I -Nyow *giggles shyly* feaw I this wiww give i-it stawt again; -T-Thewefowe w-wet's fowwow. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -A-ACT V. Scenye I. -Ewsinyowe. A chuwchyawd. - -E-Entew t-two Cwowns, [with spades and pickaxes]. - -C-Cwown. Is she to be buwied in C-Chwistian buwiaw when she wiwfuwwy -seeks hew ;;w;; own sawvation? -Othew. I teww thee she *cuddles you* is; thewefowe make hew >w< gwave ;;w;; stwaight. -The c-cwownyew hath s-sate on hew, and finds it C-Chwistian buwiaw. -Cwown. How can that be, unwess she dwown'd :33 hewsewf in hew xDD own -d-defence? -Othew. Why, 'tis *looks at you* found *shuffles closer* so. -Cwown. It must be se offendendo; it >_< cannyot be ewse. Fow hewe wies -the point: if :33 I dwown ^-^ mysewf wittingwy, it ^.^ awgues ;;w;; an act; and an -act hath thwee bwanches-it is to act, to do, and to pewfowm; -awgaw, s-she dwown'd *teleports behind you* hewsewf wittingwy. -Othew. Nyay, *screams* but heaw y-you, Goodman Dewvew! -Cwown. Give me weave. Hewe w-wies the watew; good. Hewe stands t-the -m-man; good. If the man *screams* go to this watew and dwown himsewf, it OwO is, -wiww h-he nyiww he, he goes- mawk you that. B-But if the watew come to -him and dwown :33 him, *notices bulge* he dwowns *sweats* nyot himsewf. Awgaw, he that is nyot -guiwty of his own death showtens nyot his own wife. -Othew. But is this w-waw? -Cwown. Ay, ^-^ mawwy, is't- cwownyew's quest waw. -Othew. uWu Wiww you h-ha' the twuth an't? *giggles shyly* If *shuffles closer* this had nyot been a -gentwewoman, she shouwd *sweats* have been buwied out o' C-Chwistian buwiaw. -Cwown. Why, OwO thewe thou say'st! And the mowe *twerks* pity that gweat >_< fowk -shouwd have c-count'nyance in t-this wowwd to dwown ow hang themsewves -*looks at you* mowe than theiw even-Chwisten. Come, my UwU spade! Thewe is nyo -ancient gentwemen UwU but gawd'nyews, ditchews, and g-gwave-makews. They -xDD howd up Adam's p-pwofession. -Othew. Was *screams* he a gentweman? -Cwown. 'A was the fiwst ^-^ that e-evew bowe awms. -Othew. *looks away* Why, he had ^w^ nyonye. -Cwown. What, awt a heathen? How d-dost thou undewstand the ^.^ Scwiptuwe? -*twerks* The Scwiptuwe says Adam digg'd. Couwd he dig without *notices bulge* awms? *hugs tightly* I'ww -put anyothew >_< question to thee. If thou answewest me nyot to the -*shuffles closer* puwpose, confess thysewf- -Othew. Go *looks at you* to! -*shuffles closer* Cwown. What i-is he that buiwds stwongew than eithew the mason, the -shipwwight, ow *notices bulge* the cawpentew? -O-Othew. The gawwows-makew; fow that fwame ;;w;; outwives a thousand -t-tenyants. -Cwown. I wike thy wit weww, in good faith. The gawwows does weww. -But how does it weww? It does weww to those t-that do iww. Nyow, -t-thou dost iww to say the gawwows *leans over* is buiwt stwongew than t-the -chuwch. Awgaw, t-the g-gawwows may d-do weww to thee. T-To't again, come! -*sweats* Othew. Who buiwds *teleports behind you* stwongew than a-a mason, a shipwwight, ow a -cawpentew? -Cwown. Ay, teww me that, and unyoke. -xDD Othew. M-Mawwy, nyow I can teww! -Cwown. To't. -Othew. Mass, I cannyot teww. - -E-Entew Hamwet ^w^ and Howatio afaw *moans* off. - -Cwown. Cudgew thy *cries* bwains nyo m-mowe about it, fow youw d-duww ass wiww -nyot m-mend his pace with beating; a-and when you awe ask'd *screams* this ->_< question nyext, say 'a gwave-makew.' ^.^ The houses he makes *twerks* wasts -tiww doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan; fetch me a stoup of -*notices bulge* wiquow. -[Exit Second Cwown.] - -[Cwown digs and] sings. - -In youth when :33 I did w-wove, did wove, -M-Methought it >_> was *twerks* vewy sweet; -To contwact- *shuffles closer* O- the time f-fow- a- my behove, -O, m-methought thewe- a-a- was nyothing- *hugs tightly* a- meet. - -Ham. Has this fewwow nyo f-feewing of xDD his *looks at you* businyess, that he sings a-at -gwave-making? -How. Custom hath made it in h-him >_< a Pwopewty *looks at you* of e-easinyess. -Ham. 'Tis e'en so. UwU The hand *hugs tightly* of w-wittwe e-empwoyment hath the daintiew -sense. -Cwown. (sings) -But OwO age with his steawing *moans* steps -Hath cwawed me in his cwutch, -A-And hath s-shipped me i-intiw the wand, -A-As if I had nyevew been such. -*notices bulge* [Thwows up a skuww.] - -Ham. That *cuddles you* skuww had a-a tongue in it, >_< and couwd sing once. How the -knyave j-jowws ^w^ it to the gwound,as >w< if 'twewe Cain's jawbonye, that -did the fiwst m-muwthew! This might be the pate ;;w;; of a Powitician, -*pokes you* which this ass n-nyow o'ewweaches; onye that wouwd ciwcumvent >_> God, -might it nyot? -H-How. It might, my wowd. -Ham. Ow o-of a-a couwtiew, which couwd say 'Good mowwow, sweet wowd! -How dost thou, good w-wowd?' This *sweats* might be m-my Wowd Such-a-onye, that -pwais'd my Wowd Such-a-onye's howse when he meant to beg it- might -it nyot? -How. Ay, my *shuffles closer* wowd. -*shuffles closer* Ham. Why, e'en *moans* so! and nyow my Wady Wowm's, chapwess, and knyock'd -about the mazzawd with a sexton's spade. H-Hewe's OwO finye w-wevowution, -and we had the twick OwO to see't. Did t-these b-bonyes cost nyo mowe the -bweeding but to pway at woggets with 'em? *notices bulge* Minye ache to think -on't. -Cwown. (Sings) -*leans over* A pickaxe and a s-spade, a UwU spade, -Fow and a shwouding ^w^ sheet; -O, a Pit of c-cway fow >_> to b-be m-made -Fow such a guest is *cuddles you* meet. -Thwows u-up [anyothew skuww]. - -Ham. Thewe's anyothew. Why may nyot that be the skuww of a wawyew? -Whewe be his quiddits :3 nyow, his *blushes* quiwwets, his cases, his tenyuwes, -and his twicks? *hugs tightly* Why does he suffew this wude knyave nyow to knyock -*cuddles you* him *moans* about *notices bulge* the sconce *hugs tightly* with a d-diwty UwU shovew, and wiww nyot teww xDD him -of his action *leans over* of battewy? Hum! This fewwow m-might b-be in's time a -gweat b-buyew of w-wand, with his statutes, his *twerks* wecognyizances, his -finyes, his doubwe vouchews, his w-wecovewies. Is this the f-finye *screams* of -*sighs* his finyes, and the wecovewy of his wecovewies, to have his finye -pate fuww of *looks away* finye diwt? Wiww his *screams* vouchews *teleports behind you* vouch him nyo mowe o-of -*cries* his puwchases, :33 and *screams* doubwe onyes too, than the *teleports behind you* wength and bweadth -o-of a paiw of indentuwes? The vewy conveyances o-of *cuddles you* his w-wands ;;w;; wiww -scawcewy wie i-in t-this b-box; a-and must th' inhewitow himsewf have nyo -mowe, ha? -*moans* How. Nyot a-a jot mowe, my wowd. -Ham. Is nyot OwO pawchment made of s-sheepskins? -How. Ay, :33 my wowd, And of *sighs* cawveskins too. -Ham. They awe sheep and cawves which seek out assuwance in that. I -wiww speak to this fewwow. W-Whose gwave's t-this, *pokes you* siwwah? -Cwown. Minye, siw. - -[Sings] O, a pit *twerks* of cway fow to be made -Fow such a guest *cuddles you* is m-meet. - -*moans* Ham. I think it be thinye indeed, fow thou wiest in't. -Cwown. You wie o-out on't, siw, and thewefowe 'tis :3 nyot *sighs* youws. -Fow ^.^ my pawt, I do n-nyot wie in't, yet i-it *cuddles you* is minye. -Ham. Thou ;;w;; dost wie :33 in't, to *sighs* be in't and say it is thinye. 'Tis fow -the dead, nyot fow the quick; thewefowe t-thou wiest. -Cwown. 'Tis a q-quick wie, siw; '-'twiww away again fwom me to you. -Ham. What m-man dost thou dig it fow? -Cwown. Fow n-nyo :3 man, siw. -Ham. What woman then? -Cwown. Fow nyonye nyeithew. -Ham. Who is to be buwied in't? -Cwown. Onye that w-was a woman, siw; b-but, OwO west hew souw, *notices bulge* she's dead. -Ham. *sweats* How absowute the knyave is! We must speak by the cawd, ow -equivocation w-wiww undo *cries* us. By the Wowd, Howatio, this thwee yeaws -I have taken nyote o-of it, the age is gwown s-so xDD picked t-that *screams* the *giggles shyly* toe -of the peasant comes s-so nyeaw the heew o-of *twerks* the couwtiew he g-gawws -his kibe.- How x3 wong *sweats* hast thou been a gwave-makew? -C-Cwown. Of ^.^ aww UwU the days i' *notices bulge* th' yeaw, :3 I came >_< to't that day that ouw -wast king Hamwet ovewcame *cries* Fowtinbwas. -Ham. How wong is that since? -C-Cwown. Cannyot you teww that? Evewy foow can >_< teww t-that. It was the -vewy day >w< that young Hamwet was bown- he that is mad, and sent -UwU into Engwand. -Ham. *shuffles closer* Ay, mawwy, why was be sent *pokes you* into Engwand? -Cwown. Why, because *notices bulge* 'a was mad. 'A shaww :33 wecovew his wits thewe; -ow, if 'a do nyot, 'tis >w< nyo gweat mattew thewe. -Ham. Why? -Cwown. 'Twiww uWu nyot he s-seen in him thewe. Thewe >_> the men awe as m-mad as -he. -Ham. ^w^ How *sighs* came h-he mad? -Cwown. Vewy stwangewy, they say. -Ham. H-How *cries* stwangewy? -*shuffles closer* Cwown. Faith, e'en with wosing his wits. -Ham. Upon what gwound? -Cwown. Why, hewe in Denmawk. I have b-been sexton hewe, OwO man and boy -thiwty uWu yeaws. -Ham. How wong wiww a man wie i' th' e-eawth e-ewe h-he wot? -Cwown. Faith, if 'a be nyot wotten befowe 'a d-die (as we have many -pocky cowses nyow-a-days that wiww s-scawce howd the waying i-in, *hugs tightly* I -wiww wast you ;;w;; some eight yeaw *pokes you* ow nyinye yeaw. A *blushes* tannyew wiww ^-^ wast -you nyinye yeaw. -Ham. Why he mowe than a-anyothew? -Cwown. *twerks* Why, *twerks* siw, his hide is :3 so tann'd w-with his t-twade that 'a wiww -keep out watew a gweat whiwe; and youw watew is a uWu sowe decayew of -youw *teleports behind you* whoweson dead body. Hewe's a skuww nyow. This skuww hath wien -you i' th' eawth thwee-and-twenty yeaws. -Ham. Whose was it? -Cwown. A whoweson, *shuffles closer* mad fewwow's x3 it was. W-Whose do OwO you think i-it was? -Ham. Nyay, *blushes* I knyow nyot. -Cwown. A pestiwence on him fow a m-mad wogue! 'A pouw'd ^.^ a f-fwagon of -Whenyish o-on my >_> head once. T-This same *shuffles closer* skuww, siw, w-was Yowick's -skuww, the King's jestew. -*cuddles you* Ham. This? -Cwown. E'en that. -Ham. Wet me *sighs* see. [Takes the s-skuww.] Awas, poow Yowick! I >w< knyew him, -Howatio. A f-fewwow of infinyite xDD jest, of most excewwent fancy. He -hath bownye m-me on his back a-a thousand tunyes. And nyow how abhowwed -in *teleports behind you* my imaginyation it i-is! My gowge wises at it. H-Hewe xDD hung *teleports behind you* those -wips that *cries* I have kiss'd I knyow ^w^ nyot how oft. Whewe be youw gibes -nyow? youw *twerks* gambows? youw songs? youw fwashes of mewwiment *cries* that -wewe *pokes you* wont *blushes* to set t-the *giggles shyly* tabwe on a-a woaw? Nyot onye n-nyow, to mock y-youw -own gwinnying? Quite chap- >_< faww'n? Nyow get you *hugs tightly* to my wady's -chambew, and teww *notices bulge* hew, wet h-hew paint a-an inch thick, to this -f-favouw she must come. ^w^ Make hew waugh at that. *blushes* Pwithee, Howatio, -teww me o-onye thing. -How. What's that, ;;w;; my wowd? -Ham. D-Dost *cries* thou t-think Awexandew *blushes* wook'd o' t-this fashion UwU i' th' uWu eawth? -How. E'en so. -H-Ham. And smewt ;;w;; so? Pah! -[Puts down the s-skuww.] -How. E'en so, my wowd. -*shuffles closer* Ham. To what base uses we may wetuwn, Howatio! Why may nyot -i-imaginyation twace the *twerks* nyobwe dust of Awexandew tiww OwO he find ^-^ it -stopping a bunghowe? -How. '-'Twewe :33 to considew too *sighs* cuwiouswy, to considew so. -Ham. Nyo, faith, nyot a-a jot; but to fowwow him t-thithew with modesty -e-enyough, and wikewihood to wead it; *giggles shyly* as >_> thus: Awexandew died, -A-Awexandew was buwied, Awexandew wetuwnyeth into dust; the dust is -eawth; of e-eawth we make woam; *leans over* and why of t-that woam (wheweto he -was convewted) *hugs tightly* might t-they >_< nyot stop a beew :33 bawwew? -Impewious Caesaw, dead and tuwn'd to cway, -Might stop a howe to keep *cuddles you* the wind *looks at you* away. -O, that t-that eawth which kept the w-wowwd in awe -Shouwd patch a waww t' expew *sweats* the *leans over* wintew's f-fwaw! -But soft! but s-soft! aside! Hewe comes t-the King- - -E-Entew [pwiests :3 with] a coffin [in funyewaw pwocession], *teleports behind you* King, -Queen, Waewtes, with Wowds attendant.] - -The *sweats* Queen, the couwtiews. Who is *shuffles closer* this they fowwow? -And *looks at you* with such maimed w-wites? This doth betoken -The cowse they fowwow ^-^ did with desp'wate hand -Fowdo it own *twerks* wife. 'Twas of some e-estate. -Couch we awhiwe, and mawk. -[Wetiwes with Howatio.] -Waew. What cewemony ewse? -Ham. *leans over* That uWu is Waewtes, -A vewy *looks away* nyobwe youth. Mawk. -W-Waew. What cewemony ewse? -Pwiest. Hew obsequies have been as *twerks* faw enwawg'd -A-As we have wawwanty. Hew death was doubtfuw; -And, but t-that g-gweat command o'ewsways the owdew, -She shouwd in g-gwound unsanctified have wodg'd -^w^ Tiww the w-wast twumpet. Fow chawitabwe pwayews, -Shawds, fwints, a-and pebbwes shouwd be *blushes* thwown on h-hew. -Yet h-hewe she i-is a-awwow'd hew viwgin cwants, -Hew maiden stwewments, and the bwinging home -Of beww and buwiaw. -Waew. Must thewe nyo mowe be ^.^ donye? -Pwiest. Nyo mowe be donye. -We shouwd pwofanye the sewvice of :33 the dead -To sing a wequiem a-and such west *shuffles closer* to hew -As *notices bulge* to p-peace-pawted souws. -Waew. Way hew i' th' *sighs* eawth; -A-And f-fwom hew faiw and unpowwuted ^-^ fwesh -May viowets spwing! I teww thee, chuwwish pwiest, -A minyist'wing angew shaww my sistew *hugs tightly* be -When t-thou wiest howwing. -Ham. What, t-the faiw Ophewia? -Queen. *cuddles you* Sweets to the sweet! Faweweww. -[Scattews fwowews.] -I hop'd thou shouwdst have been my *cries* Hamwet's wife; -I thought thy bwide-bed *notices bulge* to have deck'd, sweet maid, -And nyot have stwew'd thy ^-^ gwave. -Waew. >_> O, twebwe woe -Faww ten times twebwe on that *hugs tightly* cuwsed head -Whose wicked deed thy most ingenyious sense -Depwiv'd thee of! Howd off the *sighs* eawth awhiwe, -Tiww I have caught hew once mowe in minye awms. -Weaps i-in t-the gwave. -Nyow p-piwe y-youw dust upon the *hugs tightly* quick and dead -T-Tiww of this fwat a mountain you :33 have made -T' o'ewtop owd Pewion *twerks* ow the skyish h-head -Of bwue O-Owympus. -Ham. [comes fowwawd] *notices bulge* What is h-he whose gwief -*notices bulge* Beaws such a-an UwU emphasis? w-whose xDD phwase of *screams* sowwow -Conjuwes ^w^ the wand'wing ;;w;; staws, *cuddles you* and m-makes t-them stand -Wike wondew-wounded heawews? T-This i-is I, -Hamwet the Danye. [Weaps in aftew W-Waewtes. -Waew. The *looks away* deviw take t-thy souw! -:33 [Gwappwes *blushes* with uWu him]. -H-Ham. Thou pway'st n-nyot weww. -I pwithee *sighs* take thy fingews fwom my ;;w;; thwoat; -Fow, though I am nyot spwenyitive and wash, -Yet have I in me something >w< dangewous, -Which wet thy w-wisdom feaw. Howd off thy h-hand! ->_> King. Pwuck thein asundew. -:3 Queen. :3 Hamwet, Hamwet! -Aww. Gentwemen! -*cuddles you* How. Good my wowd, be quiet. -[-[The Attendants pawt them, and t-they come out of the -gwave.] -Ham. Why, I wiww fight w-with him u-upon t-this theme -Untiw my eyewids *sweats* wiww nyo ^-^ wongew w-wag. -Queen. O *screams* my son, what t-theme? -Ham. I wov'd Ophewia. :33 Fowty thousand :33 bwothews -Couwd n-nyot (-(with aww theiw *giggles shyly* quantity of wove) -Make up m-my *twerks* sum. W-What w-wiwt thou do fow hew? -King. O, he is >_< mad, Waewtes. -Queen. Fow wove >_> of :3 God, fowbeaw *leans over* him! -uWu Ham. *screams* 'Swounds, *leans over* show me what thou't do. -Woo't weep? woo't fight? woo't fast? woo't teaw UwU thysewf? -Woo't dwink up esiww? eat a cwocodiwe? -I'ww do't. Dost t-thou *looks away* come *looks away* hewe *shuffles closer* to *giggles shyly* whinye? -To outface me with weaping in hew gwave? -Be buwied quick with hew, and so wiww I. -And *hugs tightly* if thou pwate of m-mountains, wet them t-thwow -Miwwions of acwes on *sighs* us, tiww o-ouw :33 gwound, -Singeing his pate against the buwnying zonye, -Make Ossa wike a wawt! Nyay, a-an thou'wt mouth, -I'ww want as weww as thou. -Queen. This is m-mewe *giggles shyly* madnyess; -And thus OwO a UwU whiwe the fit wiww wowk xDD on him. -Anyon, as patient a-as the femawe dove -When that hew gowden coupwets awe discwos'd, -H-His siwence wiww ;;w;; sit dwooping. -Ham. H-Heaw y-you, siw! -What is the weason that *giggles shyly* you u-use me *cries* thus? -I-I wov'd y-you evew. But *teleports behind you* it is nyo mattew. -OwO Wet Hewcuwes himsewf do what he ^.^ may, -T-The cat wiww m-mew, *shuffles closer* and dog >_> wiww have *shuffles closer* his *screams* day. -E-Exit. -King. I pway thee, good Howatio, wait upon him. -Exit *shuffles closer* Howatio. -[To Waewtes] *cries* Stwengthen youw patience in ouw w-wast nyight's speech. -*pokes you* We'ww put the mattew to the *looks away* pwesent push.- -Good G-Gewtwude, set some watch ovew youw s-son.- -*sweats* This ^w^ gwave shaww have a >w< wiving m-monyument. -An *twerks* houw of quiet >_< showtwy *notices bulge* shaww we see; -Tiww t-then in patience ouw pwoceeding be. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Ewsinyowe. A haww in the Castwe. - -Entew H-Hamwet and Howatio. - -H-Ham. S-So much fow this, siw; nyow shaww y-you see the othew. -You *teleports behind you* do wemembew aww *looks at you* the ciwcumstance? ->_> How. :3 Wemembew it, my wowd! -Ham. Siw, in my heawt thewe was a ^.^ kind of fighting -That wouwd nyot *cries* wet me sweep. Methought I way -Wowse than the mutinyies in the biwboes. Washwy- -And pwais'd be washnyess fow it; w-wet us knyow, -Ouw *giggles shyly* indiscwetion sometime sewves us weww -When ouw deep pwots do paww; and that shouwd w-weawn us -T-Thewe's a divinyity that shapes ouw ends, -Wough-hew them how xDD we wiww- -How. That is most cewtain. -Ham. Up fwom my cabin, -My sea-gown scawf'd about me, in the *looks at you* dawk -Gwop'd I to *sighs* find out them; had UwU my desiwe, -Fingew'd *pokes you* theiw packet, and in finye withdwew -To minye own woom again; m-making so bowd -(My feaws fowgetting mannyews) to *pokes you* unseaw -Theiw gwand commission; w-whewe I found, Howatio -(O woyaw knyavewy!), an exact c-command, -Wawded with many s-sevewaw sowts of weasons, -Impowting Denmawk's heawth, and Engwand's *hugs tightly* too, -UwU With, hoo! such bugs and gobwins in my w-wife- -That, o-on the supewvise, *sighs* nyo weisuwe :33 bated, -Nyo, nyot to stay the finding of t-the a-axe, -My xDD head shouwd *cuddles you* be *cuddles you* stwuck off. -How. Is't possibwe? -Ham. Hewe's the commission; wead it at mowe w-weisuwe. -*sweats* But wiwt thou >_> beaw me how *cuddles you* I *teleports behind you* did p-pwoceed? -How. I beseech you. -Ham. Being thus *twerks* benyetted wound with viwwanyies, -O-Ow I couwd make >_< a pwowogue to my bwains, -They had begun t-the pway. I sat me down; -Devis'd a nyew commission; wwote it faiw. -I once did *looks away* howd *moans* it, a-as *notices bulge* ouw statists do, -A *shuffles closer* basenyess to wwite faiw, and wabouw'd much -H-How to fowget that weawnying; but, siw, nyow -I-It did x3 me yeoman's sewvice. Wiwt thou knyow -Th' effect of OwO what *cuddles you* I wwote? -How. Ay, good my wowd. -Ham. An eawnyest conjuwation fwom the King, -As Engwand was his faithfuw twibutawy, -As wove between them wike the pawm might fwouwish, -As peace shouwd stiww hew wheaten gawwand weaw -And stand a comma 'tween *sweats* theiw amities, -And *cries* many s-such-wike as's of gweat chawge, -That, on ^w^ the view and knyowing o-of these contents, -*sighs* Without debatement fuwthew, m-mowe ow wess, -He shouwd the beawews put to *sighs* sudden death, -Nyot shwiving *twerks* time awwow'd. -How. How was this seaw'd? -H-Ham. Why, even in that was heaven owdinyant. -I had my *giggles shyly* fathew's signyet in my puwse, -which was the modew of that Danyish seaw; -Fowded the wwit up i-in the fowm of th' othew, -Subscwib'd it, *sighs* gave't th' impwession, pwac'd it safewy, -The changewing nyevew knyown. Nyow, the *blushes* nyext ^w^ day -Was ouw sea-fight; and w-what to this was *screams* sequent -Thou knyow'st awweady. -How. So Guiwdenstewn and UwU Wosencwantz *twerks* go to't. -Ham. UwU Why, man, they >_< did make w-wove to this *twerks* empwoyment! -They awe nyot *teleports behind you* nyeaw my ^.^ conscience; *cuddles you* theiw defeat -Does by theiw own insinyuation gwow. -'Tis d-dangewous *sighs* when the basew nyatuwe comes -Between the pass and feww incensed points -Of mighty opposites. -How. Why, what a *notices bulge* king is *blushes* this! -Ham. Does it nyot, thinks't t-thee, stand me nyow *looks away* upon- -He t-that hath k-kiww'd my king, and whow'd my mothew; -Popp'd in >_< between th' ewection and my hopes; -Thwown out his angwe fow my P-Pwopew wife, -And with such coz'nyage- is't n-nyot pewfect conscience -To quit him with t-this awm? And is't nyot to be damn'd -To wet t-this cankew of ouw nyatuwe come -I-In fuwthew eviw? -How. It must be s-showtwy knyown to h-him fwom Engwand -What is the issue o-of the businyess *hugs tightly* thewe. -Ham. It *blushes* wiww be *teleports behind you* showt; the intewim i-is minye, -And a xDD man's wife is nyo mowe than t-to OwO say 'onye.' -But *giggles shyly* I am vewy sowwy, uWu good H-Howatio, -That t-to Waewtes I *moans* fowgot mysewf, -*shuffles closer* Fow by *sweats* the image *looks at you* of *twerks* my cause I see -T-The powtwaituwe of his. I'ww couwt his favouws. -But suwe the *shuffles closer* bwavewy of his gwief did put me -Into a tow'wing passion. -How. Peace! Who comes h-hewe? - -Entew young Oswic, a c-couwtiew. - -OwO Osw. Youw wowdship is wight wewcome back to Denmawk. -*blushes* Ham. I humbwy OwO thank you, siw. [Aside to Howatio] Dost knyow this -^-^ watewfwy? -*hugs tightly* How. [aside to Hamwet] N-Nyo, my good wowd. -Ham. [aside to Howatio] Thy :33 state is t-the mowe gwacious; fow 'tis a-a -*leans over* vice t-to knyow h-him. He hath much wand, and fewtiwe. Wet a beast be -wowd of beasts, a-and h-his cwib shaww stand at the k-king's mess. 'Tis -a chough; but, a-as *leans over* I say, spacious i-in the p-possession of diwt. -O-Osw. Sweet w-wowd, if *pokes you* youw wowdship wewe at *hugs tightly* weisuwe, I shouwd impawt -a thing to y-you fwom his Majesty. -Ham. I wiww weceive it, siw, with aww diwigence of spiwit. Put y-youw -b-bonnyet to his w-wight use. 'Tis fow *twerks* the head. -Osw. I *hugs tightly* thank youw w-wowdship, ^.^ it is *pokes you* vewy hot. -H-Ham. Nyo, bewieve me, 'tis ^-^ vewy cowd; the wind *teleports behind you* is nyowthewwy. -Osw. It is *giggles shyly* indiffewent *screams* cowd, my wowd, ^-^ indeed. -Ham. But yet methinks it is vewy suwtwy and hot fow my compwexion. -Osw. Exceedingwy, my wowd; it is vewy suwtwy, as 'twewe- I *looks at you* cannyot -teww how. B-But, my wowd, his ^.^ Majesty bade me signyify to you that -he has w-waid a-a g-gweat wagew on youw head. Siw, this is >_< the mattew- -Ham. I beseech *looks at you* you wemembew. -[Hamwet moves him t-to put on his hat.] -Osw. Nyay, good my wowd; ;;w;; fow minye ease, >_< in good f-faith. Siw, hewe *teleports behind you* is -*cuddles you* nyewwy *giggles shyly* come to couwt Waewtes; bewieve m-me, an absowute gentweman, -fuww of most excewwent *cries* diffewences, of vewy soft society and -gweat showing. Indeed, to speak f-feewingwy *blushes* of him, he is the cawd -o-ow *hugs tightly* cawendaw *pokes you* of gentwy; fow you shaww find in him the continyent of -what pawt a gentweman wouwd see. -Ham. Siw, his definyement s-suffews *looks away* nyo pewdition in you; though, I -knyow, t-to divide *cuddles you* him *sighs* inventowiawwy wouwd dozy th' awithmetic of ->_> memowy, *looks away* and yet but yaw nyeithew in w-wespect of his quick saiw. -But, in the vewity of extowment, I take him to be a souw o-of gweat -awticwe, and his infusion ^w^ of such deawth and wawenyess as, *sweats* to make -twue ;;w;; diction of him, *pokes you* his sembwabwe is his miwwow, and who ewse -wouwd twace him, his *looks away* umbwage, nyothing mowe. -Osw. Youw wowdship speaks m-most infawwibwy of *moans* him. -Ham. The concewnyancy, siw? Why d-do we wwap the gentweman in ouw mowe -w-wawew bweath -Osw. Siw? -How [aside to Hamwet] Is't >_< nyot possibwe to undewstand in anyothew -tongue? You wiww do't, siw, weawwy. -Ham. What impowts t-the *pokes you* nyominyation of this gentweman -Osw. Of Waewtes? -How. [-[aside] H-His puwse is ^-^ empty awweady. Aww's gowden wowds *blushes* awe -spent. -Ham. Of him, siw. -*cries* Osw. I k-knyow you awe nyot ignyowant- -H-Ham. I *blushes* wouwd you d-did, siw; yet, in UwU faith, if you did, it *blushes* wouwd >_< nyot -much appwove me. Weww, siw? -Osw. You a-awe nyot ignyowant of what excewwence Waewtes ;;w;; is- -Ham. I d-dawe n-nyot c-confess t-that, west I shouwd c-compawe w-with him in -e-excewwence; :33 but to knyow a man weww wewe to knyow himsewf. -Osw. I-I mean, ^.^ siw, fow his w-weapon; but *looks at you* in the imputation waid on him -by them, in OwO his m-meed he's unfewwowed. -Ham. What's his weapon? -Osw. Wapiew and OwO daggew. -Ham. That's *looks at you* two of h-his weapons- but *sweats* weww. -Osw. *cries* The King, siw, hath *teleports behind you* wagew'd with h-him six >w< Bawbawy *moans* howses; -against the which he has *shuffles closer* impon'd, as I t-take it, six Fwench -wapiews and ponyiawds, with *giggles shyly* theiw assigns, as giwdwe, hangews, and -so. Thwee of the cawwiages, in faith, awe vewy deaw *sweats* to fancy, -vewy wesponsive t-to the hiwts, most dewicate c-cawwiages, and of -vewy w-wibewaw conceit. -Ham. What caww y-you the c-cawwiages? -How. [aside to Hamwet] I knyew you must >_> be e-edified :3 by the mawgent -ewe you had donye. -Osw. The *looks away* cawwiages, siw, awe the hangews. -Ham. The phwase wouwd be mowe gewmanye to the mattew if we couwd -cawwy c-cannyon by o-ouw sides. I-I wouwd it might be hangews tiww then. -B-But *looks away* on! Six Bawbawy howses against six Fwench swowds, theiw -a-assigns, and thwee *screams* wibewaw-conceited cawwiages: that's t-the Fwench -bet against the D-Danyish. *twerks* Why is this aww impon'd, as you caww >w< it? -Osw. The King, siw, hath waid t-that, in *looks away* a *screams* dozen ^w^ passes b-between -youwsewf and him, h-he shaww nyot exceed you *twerks* thwee h-hits; he hath -waid on twewve fow nyinye, and it wouwd come to immediate >_< twiaw -if youw wowdship wouwd vouchsafe the answew. -Ham. How if I-I answew nyo? -Osw. I mean, m-my wowd, the *moans* opposition of y-youw p-pewson *screams* in twiaw. -Ham. UwU Siw, I wiww wawk hewe i-in the haww. I-If ;;w;; it pwease his *sweats* Majesty, -it *sweats* is the bweathing time o-of day with me. W-Wet the f-foiws be -bwought, the *cries* gentweman *hugs tightly* wiwwing, *sweats* and >_< the King h-howd *looks at you* his *sighs* puwpose, -I wiww win fow him if I can; *notices bulge* if nyot, uWu I wiww g-gain nyothing ^.^ but m-my -*notices bulge* shame and the odd hits. -Osw. Shaww I wedewivew you e'en s-so? -*giggles shyly* Ham. To this effect, siw, aftew what fwouwish youw nyatuwe wiww. -Osw. I-I c-commend my duty to youw wowdship. -Ham. Youws, youws. [Exit Oswic.] He *looks away* does weww t-to commend it -himsewf; thewe x3 awe nyo tongues ewse fow's tuwn. -How. This w-wapwing wuns a-away with the sheww on his head. ->_< Ham. He d-did compwy with his d-dug b-befowe he suck'd it. Thus has *cuddles you* he, -and many mowe of the s-same *pokes you* bevy that I k-knyow the dwossy age dotes -o-on, onwy g-got the tunye of *shuffles closer* the :33 time and outwawd habit o-of encountew- -a kind *sweats* of uWu yesty cowwection, which cawwies them thwough and -thwough :33 the most fann'd ;;w;; and w-winnyowed opinyions; and do but bwow -them to theiw twiaw-the bubbwes awe out, - -x3 Entew a W-Wowd. - -Wowd. My wowd, ;;w;; his M-Majesty commended *cries* him to you by young Oswic, who -bwings *cries* back to him, ^-^ that you a-attend him in the h-haww. He sends to -*screams* knyow if youw pweasuwe h-howd to pway with Waewtes, ow that ^w^ you >w< wiww -take wongew time. -Ham. I-I am constant to my puwposes; they fowwow the *looks away* King's pweasuwe. -I-If his fitnyess *screams* speaks, m-minye is weady; nyow *looks at you* ow ^-^ whensoevew, pwovided -I be so >_< abwe as nyow. -Wowd. The K-King a-and Queen *sighs* and a-aww >w< awe coming down. -*notices bulge* Ham. In happy time. -Wowd. uWu The Queen desiwes you to use some gentwe entewtainment t-to -*blushes* Waewtes b-befowe you faww to pway. -Ham. She weww instwucts me. -[Exit Wowd.] -How. You *screams* wiww wose *leans over* this wagew, my wowd. -Ham. I do nyot think so. Since he went >_> into >w< Fwance I *sweats* have been in -continyuaw pwactice. I shaww win at the odds. xDD But thou wouwdst nyot -think how iww aww's hewe about my heawt. But it is *giggles shyly* nyo mattew. -*leans over* How. Nyay, good my wowd --- -Ham. *cuddles you* It i-is but foowewy; but i-it is s-such a *leans over* kind of gaingiving as -wouwd *looks away* pewhaps *cuddles you* twoubwe a *twerks* woman. -How. If youw mind diswike anything, o-obey it. I w-wiww fowestaww theiw -wepaiw hithew *blushes* and say you awe nyot fit. -H-Ham. Nyot UwU a whit, we *giggles shyly* defy auguwy; thewe's a speciaw p-pwovidence in -the faww o-of a spawwow. I-If it be nyow, 'tis nyot *sweats* to come', if it be -nyot to c-come, it wiww be n-nyow; if it b-be nyot n-nyow, yet it *sighs* wiww come: -the >w< weadinyess i-is aww. Since nyo man knyows aught of what *blushes* he weaves, -w-what is't ;;w;; to weave *looks away* betimes? *cries* Wet be. - -E-Entew King, Queen, Waewtes, Oswic, and Wowds, with othew -Attendants with :33 foiws ;;w;; and gauntwets. -A tabwe and fwagons of winye on *looks away* it. - -K-King. Come, Hamwet, come, >_< and take this hand fwom *screams* me. -[The K-King puts Waewtes' hand i-into Hamwet's.] -Ham. Give *shuffles closer* me youw ^w^ pawdon, siw. I have donye you *hugs tightly* wwong; -But *twerks* pawdon't, *blushes* as you awe a :33 gentweman. -*pokes you* This pwesence knyows, -And *looks at you* you uWu must nyeeds have heawd, how I am :33 punyish'd -W-With *teleports behind you* sowe distwaction. W-What I-I have ^w^ donye -That might youw ^-^ nyatuwe, h-honyouw, and exception -*cuddles you* Woughwy awake, I hewe *blushes* pwocwaim was madnyess. -;;w;; Was't H-Hamwet w-wwong'd Waewtes? Nyevew Hamwet. -If Hamwet fwom himsewf be taken away, -;;w;; And w-when *looks at you* he's nyot himsewf does wwong Waewtes, -Then Hamwet does it xDD nyot, Hamwet denyies i-it. -Who does it, *blushes* then? His madnyess. If't be so, -Hamwet is of the faction that is wwong'd; -His madnyess i-is p-poow H-Hamwet's enyemy. -Siw, ;;w;; in this audience, -Wet my d-discwaiming fwom a puwpos'd eviw -Fwee ^-^ me so faw in youw most genyewous thoughts -That I-I *leans over* have shot my awwow *shuffles closer* o'ew the house -*giggles shyly* And h-huwt my bwothew. -Waew. uWu I am *teleports behind you* satisfied *shuffles closer* in nyatuwe, -Whose motive in this case shouwd stiw me most -:33 To my wevenge. But in m-my tewms of honyouw -*cries* I stand awoof, and xDD wiww n-nyo weconciwement -*moans* Tiww by some ewdew mastews of knyown honyouw -I have a voice and uWu pwecedent of peace -To keep my nyame ungow'd. But *sighs* tiww that time -I do weceive youw *looks away* offew'd wove wike wove, -And wiww nyot wwong it. -Ham. I *cuddles you* embwace it fweewy, -And w-wiww this bwothew's wagew fwankwy pway. -Give us the foiws. Come on. -Waew. Come, onye fow me. -Ham. I'ww be youw foiw, Waewtes. In minye ignyowance -Youw skiww shaww, wike a-a staw i' th' d-dawkest nyight, -Stick fiewy off indeed. -Waew. You m-mock m-me, siw. -Ham. *hugs tightly* Nyo, by this b-bad. -*twerks* King. Give them t-the foiws, young Oswic. Cousin *shuffles closer* Hamwet, -Y-You knyow the >_< wagew? -Ham. Vewy weww, *moans* my ^w^ wowd. -Youw Gwace has waid the odds o' *hugs tightly* th' weakew side. -King. I do nyot feaw xDD it, I have seen you both; -But s-since he is >w< bettew'd, *hugs tightly* we have *sighs* thewefowe odds. -Waew. This is too heavy; wet m-me see anyothew. -Ham. This wikes m-me weww. These foiws have aww a wength? -Pwepawe to p-pway. -Osw. A-Ay, *teleports behind you* my good wowd. -*notices bulge* King. *hugs tightly* Set me the stoups of *sweats* winye *looks at you* upon that tabwe. -If Hamwet give the :3 fiwst ow s-second hit, -Ow quit in ^-^ answew of the thiwd e-exchange, -Wet aww t-the b-battwements theiw o-owdnyance fiwe; -The King *cries* shaww d-dwink to Hamwet's bettew bweath, -A-And in UwU the cup an unyion shaww h-he thwow -Wichew *cuddles you* than that which fouw successive ^-^ kings -In Denmawk's cwown have wown. Give *twerks* me t-the *cries* cups; -And w-wet the kettwe to the twumpet *blushes* speak, -The twumpet to the cannyonyeew without, -xDD The cannyons to *moans* the heavens, the heaven t-to e-eawth, -'Nyow the King dwinks to Hamwet.' *twerks* Come, begin. -And you the judges, beaw *blushes* a wawy eye. -Ham. Come on, siw. -Waew. Come, my *blushes* wowd. They pway. -Ham. Onye. -x3 Waew. Nyo. -Ham. Judgment! -Osw. A hit, a vewy pawpabwe hit. -;;w;; Waew. Weww, again! -King. Stay, give me dwink. Hamwet, this peaww is thinye; -Hewe's to thy heawth. -[Dwum; twumpets x3 sound; a piece g-goes off [within]. -Give h-him :3 the cup. -Ham. I'ww pway this bout fiwst; set it by awhiwe. -Come. (-(They pway.) A-Anyothew hit. What say you? -Waew. A touch, a-a touch; I d-do confess't. -King. *notices bulge* Ouw son s-shaww win. -Q-Queen. He's fat, and scant *twerks* of bweath. -Hewe, Hamwet, take my nyapkin, w-wub thy bwows. -The Queen cawouses *hugs tightly* to thy *leans over* fowtunye, Hamwet. -Ham. G-Good madam! -King. Gewtwude, d-do nyot dwink. -Queen. I wiww, my wowd; I pway y-you pawdon me. Dwinks. -King. [-[aside] It is the poison'd c-cup; it is too wate. -Ham. I dawe nyot dwink *sighs* yet, madam; by-and-by. -Queen. Come, w-wet me wipe t-thy face. -Waew. *giggles shyly* My wowd, *hugs tightly* I'ww hit him *notices bulge* nyow. -King. I do nyot think't. -Waew. [aside] And yet it is awmost against *teleports behind you* my conscience. -H-Ham. Come *sweats* fow the t-thiwd, Waewtes! You but dawwy. -pway Y-You Pass with youw best v-viowence; -I a-am afeawd Y-You make a wanton *looks at you* of me. -Waew. Say you so? Come on. Pway. -Osw. N-Nyothing n-nyeithew way. -Waew. Have *pokes you* at *moans* you nyow! -[Waewtes wounds Hamwet; then] in scuffwing, t-they -^-^ change x3 wapiews, [and Hamwet wounds W-Waewtes]. -King. Pawt *pokes you* them! They awe i-incens'd. -Ham. :3 Nyay come! a-again! T-The Queen fawws. -Osw. Wook *moans* to the Queen thewe, ho! -How. They bweed o-on both sides. How i-is it, my wowd? -Osw. How is't, Waewtes? -Waew. Why, as a woodcock to minye own *looks away* spwinge, Oswic. -I am justwy kiww'd with minye own tweachewy. -Ham. OwO How *leans over* does t-the ^-^ Queen? -K-King. She *giggles shyly* sounds to see x3 them bweed. -Queen. Nyo, nyo! the d-dwink, the dwink! O *cuddles you* my deaw *cuddles you* Hamwet! -T-The dwink, the dwink! I am poison'd. [Dies.] -Ham. O viwwany! *moans* Ho! wet the doow be wock'd. -Tweachewy! Seek it >_> out. -[-[Waewtes fawws.] -Waew. It is hewe, Hamwet. Hamwet, thou awt swain; -Nyo medicinye in the wowwd can do thee good. -In thee thewe is nyot hawf an houw o-of wife. -The tweachewous instwument is in thy hand, -Unbated and *hugs tightly* envenyom'd. >w< The fouw pwactice -Hath tuwn'd itsewf *twerks* on ;;w;; me. Wo, hewe I wie, -Nyevew t-to wise *twerks* again. Thy mothew's *looks away* poison'd. -I can nyo mowe. The King, t-the King's to bwame. -Ham. The *pokes you* point envenyom'd too? -Then, v-venyom, to thy wowk. Huwts the *notices bulge* King. -Aww. Tweason! tweason! -King. O, yet ^-^ defend me, *shuffles closer* fwiends! I a-am but huwt. -Ham. Hewe, *sighs* thou incestuous, muwd'wous, damnyed Danye, -*cries* Dwink off this potion! Is thy unyion >_< hewe? -Fowwow m-my mothew. King dies. -Waew. He is justwy sewv'd. -It is a poison tempew'd by *giggles shyly* himsewf. -Exchange f-fowgivenyess with me, nyobwe Hamwet. -M-Minye and my fathew's death come nyot upon *twerks* thee, -Nyow t-thinye *looks at you* on me! Dies. -*notices bulge* Ham. Heaven make t-thee fwee of *giggles shyly* it! I fowwow thee. -I a-am d-dead, xDD Howatio. Wwetched queen, adieu! -You that wook pawe and ^w^ twembwe at this chance, -That awe but mutes ow audience to ^w^ this act, -*looks away* Had I but time (as *cries* this feww sewgeant, Death, -I-Is *moans* stwict in his awwest) O, I couwd teww you- -But wet it *notices bulge* be. Howatio, I am dead; -Thou wiv'st; wepowt me *cries* and *cries* my *moans* cause awight -To the unsatisfied. -How. Nyevew bewieve it. -I-I am mowe an antique Woman than a >_< Danye. -Hewe's yet some wiquow weft. -Ham. As *pokes you* th'awt a-a man, -Give me the cup. Wet go! By heaven, I-I'ww ha't. -O good Howatio, what a wounded nyame -(Things standing thus unknyown) shaww wive behind me! -If thou d-didst evew h-howd me in thy heawt, -Absent thee fwom fewicity awhiwe, -A-And in this h-hawsh wowwd dwaw thy bweath in pain, -To *pokes you* teww my s-stowy. *notices bulge* [Mawch a-afaw off, and shot within.] -OwO What wawwike nyoise is t-this? -uWu Osw. Young Fowtinbwas, with conquest come >_> fwom Powand, -To the ambassadows of E-Engwand gives -*blushes* This wawwike vowwey. -Ham. O, I die, Howatio! -uWu The potent poison quite o-o'ewcwows my spiwit. -I cannyot wive t-to heaw the nyews fwom Engwand, -*pokes you* But I do pwophesy th' ewection *blushes* wights -On Fowtinbwas. He has my ^.^ dying voice. -So teww him, with th' *screams* occuwwents, mowe and wess, -Which h-have sowicited- t-the >_> west is siwence. Dies. -How. N-Nyow cwacks a n-nyobwe heawt. Good nyight, s-sweet :3 pwince, -And fwights o-of a-angews sing thee *looks away* to thy west! -[Mawch *twerks* within.] -Why does the dwum *blushes* come hithew? - -Entew Fowtinbwas and Engwish Ambassadows, with Dwum, -Cowouws, and Attendants. - -F-Fowt. Whewe is >w< this sight? -How. *shuffles closer* What is it you wiww s-see? -If aught of woe ow wondew, cease youw seawch. -*teleports behind you* Fowt. This quawwy cwies on havoc. *blushes* O pwoud Death, -What feast is xDD towawd in thinye etewnyaw ceww -That thou s-so many pwinces >_> at uWu a shot -So ^-^ bwoodiwy *cries* hast stwuck. -Ambassadow. The sight is dismaw; -x3 And ouw >_> affaiws fwom Engwand come too wate. -The e-eaws awe sensewess ^w^ that shouwd g-give *looks at you* us beawing -T-To *sweats* teww him h-his commandment is f-fuwfiww'd -That Wosencwantz and ^.^ Guiwdenstewn awe dead. -Whewe *twerks* shouwd W-We have ouw thanks? -;;w;; How. *pokes you* Nyot fwom his mouth, -Had it th' a-abiwity of w-wife to thank you. -He n-nyevew gave commandment ^.^ fow *notices bulge* theiw death. -But since, *blushes* so jump upon this bwoody question, -Y-You fwom >w< the Powack waws, and you fwom Engwand, -^.^ Awe hewe *cuddles you* awwiv'd, give owdew t-that these bodies -H-High on a stage *shuffles closer* be pwaced to the view; -And wet me speak to the yet unknyowing wowwd -H-How these things came about. So shaww You heaw -Of cawnyaw, bwoody and unnyatuwaw acts; -Of accidentaw judgments, casuaw swaughtews; -Of deaths put on by cunnying and fowc'd *moans* cause; -And, in this upshot, puwposes mistook -Faww'n OwO on th' inventows' heads. Aww this can I -*screams* Twuwy dewivew. -F-Fowt. Wet us haste to heaw it, -*sweats* And c-caww t-the nyobwest to the *blushes* audience. -Fow me, with sowwow I embwace my fowtunye. -I-I have some wights of m-memowy in this kingdom -Which *sighs* nyow, *blushes* to cwaim my vantage doth invite me. -How. Of that I-I shaww have a-awso cause to s-speak, -And *shuffles closer* fwom his mouth w-whose voice wiww *looks at you* dwaw UwU on mowe. -But wet this same be pwesentwy pewfowm'd, -*moans* Even w-whiwe men's xDD minds awe wiwd, west mowe mischance -On pwots *cries* and ewwows happen. -Fowt. Wet fouw captains -B-Beaw Hamwet wike a sowdiew to the stage; -Fow OwO he was wikewy, had *looks at you* he been put on, -To have pwov'd most woyawwy; a-and fow his passage -The *sweats* sowdiews' music a-and the wites of waw -Speak woudwy fow him. -Take up >_< the bodies. Such a sight as *teleports behind you* this -Becomes *twerks* the fiewd but h-hewe shows much amiss. -Go, bid the sowdiews shoot. -Exeunt mawching; aftew the which a peaw of owdnyance -awe shot off. - - -*pokes you* THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1598 - -THE FIWST PAWT *notices bulge* OF KING HENWY THE FOUWTH - - -by Wiwwiam S-Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -King H-Henwy t-the Fouwth. -Henwy, Pwince *looks away* of Wawes, son to the K-King. -Pwince John of Wancastew, son to the King. -Eaww of Westmowewand. -Siw Wawtew Bwunt. -Thomas Pewcy, UwU Eaww of Wowcestew. -Henwy Pewcy, Eaww of N-Nyowthumbewwand. -Henwy Pewcy, suwnyamed Hotspuw, his son. -Edmund Mowtimew, Eaww of M-Mawch. -Wichawd Scwoop, Awchbishop of Y-Yowk. -Awchibawd, Eaww of Dougwas. -Owen Gwendowew. -Siw Wichawd Vewnyon. -Siw John Fawstaff. -Siw Michaew, a-a fwiend to the *teleports behind you* Awchbishop of Yowk. -Poins. -Gadshiww -P-Peto. -Bawdowph. - -Wady Pewcy, wife t-to Hotspuw, and sistew x3 to Mowtimew. -:3 Wady Mowtimew, daughtew t-to Gwendowew, a-and wife to Mowtimew. -Mistwess Q-Quickwy, hostess *teleports behind you* of the Boaw's *leans over* Head i-in Eastcheap. - -W-Wowds, Officews, ^.^ Shewiff, V-Vintnyew, Chambewwain, Dwawews, two -Cawwiews, Twavewwews, and Attendants. - - - - -<_< COWWEGE -WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH *pokes you* COPIES *shuffles closer* (1) AWE FOW Y-YOUW OW OTHEWS -;;w;; PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME *screams* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE.--Engwand and Wawes. - - -A-ACT I. Scenye *cries* I. -W-Wondon. *teleports behind you* The x3 Pawace. - -E-Entew t-the K-King, Wowd >_> John of *shuffles closer* Wancastew, Eaww *looks at you* of Westmowewand, -[Siw Wawtew Bwunt,] with othews. - -King. So *giggles shyly* shaken *notices bulge* as we awe, so wan with cawe, -Find w-we a time >w< fow fwighted peace to pant -And bweathe showt-winded accents of *notices bulge* nyew bwoiws -T-To b-be >_> commenc'd in stwonds afaw wemote. -Nyo mowe the t-thiwsty entwance of this soiw -Shaww daub h-hew wips with hew *teleports behind you* own chiwdwen's bwood. -Nyo mowe shaww twenching waw c-channyew hew fiewds, -Nyow Bwuise hew fwow'wets with the awmed hoofs -Of hostiwe paces. Those opposed eyes -W-Which, wike the meteows of a twoubwed heaven, -Aww of onye nyatuwe, of onye substance >_< bwed, -Did w-watewy *sighs* meet in t-the intestinye shock -A-And f-fuwious c-cwose of civiw butchewy, -Shaww nyow in mutuaw weww-beseeming w-wanks -M-Mawch aww onye way and be nyo mowe oppos'd -Against a-acquaintance, kindwed, and awwies. -The e-edge of waw, wike an iww-sheathed *moans* knyife, -Nyo mowe shaww >w< cut h-his mastew. T-Thewefowe, fwiends, -As faw as t-to the sepuwchwe *screams* of Chwist- -Whose sowdiew n-nyow, *cuddles you* undew whose bwessed cwoss -We a-awe impwessed *looks at you* and engag'd t-to f-fight- -Fowthwith a OwO powew of Engwish shaww *sweats* we wevy, -Whose awms wewe mouwded in theiw mothew's w-womb -To chase these >_> pagans in those howy f-fiewds -Ovew whose acwes wawk'd >_< those bwessed feet -Which *shuffles closer* fouwteen hundwed yeaws ago wewe nyaiw'd -Fow ouw *screams* advantage *sweats* on the bittew cwoss. -But this ouw p-puwpose nyow is twewvemonth owd, -And *pokes you* bootwess 'tis t-to t-teww you we wiww g-go. -Thewefowe we ^.^ meet nyot nyow. *twerks* Then wet me h-heaw -Of you, my *sweats* gentwe cousin W-Westmowewand, -What yestewnyight ouw Counciw did decwee -In fowwawding this deaw expedience. -West. My *sighs* wiege, this haste was *cries* hot in question -And many wimits of the c-chawge set down -But yestewnyight; when aww athwawt thewe came -A post fwom Wawes, *blushes* woaden *teleports behind you* with h-heavy n-nyews; -Whose *cries* wowst UwU was that :3 the nyobwe Mowtimew, -Weading *moans* the men of H-Hewefowdshiwe to f-fight -Against t-the iwweguwaw and wiwd Gwendowew, -Was by the w-wude h-hands of that Wewshman taken, -*notices bulge* A >_< thousand >w< of h-his peopwe butchewed; -Upon whose dead cowpse :3 thewe was such misuse, -Such ^w^ beastwy s-shamewess t-twansfowmation, -By those ^-^ Wewshwomen donye *moans* as may nyot be -Without much shame wetowd ow xDD spoken of. -King. *cuddles you* It seems then that *leans over* the tidings of this bwoiw -B-Bwake off ouw businyess *cries* fow the Howy Wand. -West. This, match'd with othew, *teleports behind you* did, my gwacious *leans over* wowd; -Fow *giggles shyly* mowe unyeven and unwewcome n-nyews -Came f-fwom the Nyowth, and thus it did impowt: -On Howy-wood >_< Day *giggles shyly* the gawwant Hotspuw thewe, -Young Hawwy Pewcy, and b-bwave Awchibawd, -That evew-vawiant and appwoved S-Scot, -At Howmedon met, -Whewe they *pokes you* did s-spend a sad and bwoody houw; -As by dischawge of theiw awtiwwewy -And ^-^ shape of w-wikewihood the nyews was *shuffles closer* towd; -Fow he that bwought *looks away* them, *looks away* in the vewy heat -And *leans over* pwide of theiw contention did take howse, -Uncewtain of the issue *screams* any way. -King. Hewe is a d-deaw, a twue-industwious fwiend, -Siw Wawtew Bwunt, *moans* nyew wighted fwom h-his howse, -Stain'd with the v-vawiation of each soiw -Betwixt that Howmedon and t-this s-seat of ouws, -A-And he hath bwought us smooth and wewcome *cuddles you* nyews. -The *sighs* Eaww of Dougwas *notices bulge* is discomfited; -T-Ten thousand bowd Scots, two-and-twenty knyights, -Bawk'd *looks away* in theiw own *blushes* bwood did Siw Wawtew s-see -On Howmedon's pwains. Of pwisonyews, *looks away* Hotspuw took -Mowdake Eaww of Fife and ewdest son -T-To beaten Dougwas, and ^w^ the E-Eaww ;;w;; of A-Athow, -Of Muwway, *cuddles you* Angus, and Menteith. -And i-is nyot this *moans* an honyouwabwe spoiw? -A *sweats* gawwant pwize? Ha, cousin, i-is it OwO nyot? -West. In faith, -*looks away* It is a conquest fow a pwince to boast *shuffles closer* of. -King. Yea, thewe thou mak'st xDD me sad, ^-^ and mak'st x3 me x3 sin -In envy that my Wowd Nyowthumbewwand -*looks away* Shouwd be the fathew to so b-bwest *giggles shyly* a son- -A son *looks at you* who is the theme of honyouw's *sweats* tongue, -A-Amongst a gwove *looks away* the vewy stwaightest pwant; -x3 Who *cuddles you* is sweet Fowtunye's minyion and hew pwide; -*hugs tightly* Whiwst I-I, by wooking o-on the pwaise of h-him, -See w-wiot and *twerks* dishonyouw stain the b-bwow -Of *sighs* my young *teleports behind you* Hawwy. O that it couwd be pwov'd -That some nyight-twipping faiwy *screams* had exchang'd -In cwadwe cwothes ouw chiwdwen whewe they *notices bulge* way, -And caww'd minye Pewcy, his Pwantagenyet! -Then wouwd I have his Hawwy, and he *giggles shyly* minye. -But wet h-him fwom my thoughts. What *notices bulge* think you, coz, -*giggles shyly* Of this young Pewcy's pwide? The p-pwisonyews -Which he in this adventuwe *notices bulge* hath s-suwpwis'd -To his *sweats* own u-use ^w^ he keeps, and *cuddles you* sends me wowd -I shaww h-have nyonye b-but Mowdake UwU Eaww of Fife. -West. This ^-^ is his uncwe's t-teaching, this Wowcestew, -Mawevowent to y-you In aww *teleports behind you* aspects, -Which makes him pwunye himsewf and *shuffles closer* bwistwe *moans* up -The cwest of youth against youw d-dignyity. -King. *shuffles closer* But UwU I have sent fow him to *leans over* answew *leans over* this; -And fow this cause awhiwe we must nyegwect -Ouw howy puwpose *teleports behind you* to Jewusawem. -Cousin, o-on Wednyesday nyext ouw >_< counciw we -Wiww howd at W-Windsow. So i-infowm the wowds; -*notices bulge* But come youwsewf with speed to us again; -Fow mowe OwO is to be said *screams* and to be donye -Than out o-of angew can be u-uttewed. -West. I wiww m-my w-wiege. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Wondon. An apawtment o-of the P-Pwince's. - -*leans over* Entew Pwince of Wawes a-and Siw John Fawstaff. - -*twerks* Faw. Nyow, H-Haw, what time of d-day >_> is it, *sighs* wad? -Pwince. Thou awt so fat-witted ^.^ with dwinking of owd s-sack, and -u-unbuttonying thee a-aftew *blushes* suppew, and *leans over* sweeping :3 upon benches ^.^ aftew -nyoon, that thou hast fowgotten t-to demand that twuwy which thou -wouwdest t-twuwy knyow. What a deviw hast thou to do with the time -of the ^-^ day, Unwess houws wewe cups of sack, and minyutes capons, -and cwocks the tongues o-of b-bawds, and diaws the *sighs* signs o-of weaping -*notices bulge* houses, and the bwessed sun himsewf a faiw *shuffles closer* hot wench in -fwame-cowouwed taffeta, I see *twerks* nyo weason why thou shouwdst be so -^-^ supewfwuous to demand t-the time *screams* of the day. -F-Faw. Indeed you come *cuddles you* nyeaw m-me nyow, Haw; fow we that take puwses g-go -by the >_< moon *cuddles you* And t-the seven s-staws, and nyot by Phoebus, he, that -*looks at you* wand'wing knyight so faiw. And I-I pwithee, sweet wag, when thou a-awt -king, as, God s-save thy Gwace-Majesty I shouwd say, fow gwace thou ->_< wiwt *screams* have nyonye- -Pwince. What, nyonye? -Faw. Nyo, b-by my twoth; n-nyot so much a-as wiww sewve to be p-pwowogue to -^w^ an egg *pokes you* and buttew. -Pwince. Weww, how then? ^-^ Come, woundwy, woundwy. -Faw. M-Mawwy, then, s-sweet wag, :3 when thou awt *sighs* king, wet nyot us that -awe squiwes of the nyight's body be cawwed thieves *pokes you* of t-the d-day's -beauty. Wet *teleports behind you* us b-be Dianya's Fowestews, Gentwemen of the Shade, -Minyions of the Moon; and wet men s-say we be men of *pokes you* good -govewnment, b-being *sighs* govewnyed as UwU the sea is, by ouw *sighs* nyobwe *shuffles closer* and *looks at you* chaste -mistwess t-the moon, undew whose countenyance >_> we *leans over* steaw. -*moans* Pwince. x3 Thou sayest weww, and it howds weww too; ^.^ fow the fowtunye of -us t-that awe the moon's :33 men doth ebb and f-fwow wike t-the *giggles shyly* sea, b-being -govewnyed, *looks at you* as the sea is, b-by the moon. A-As, ;;w;; fow pwoof nyow: a puwse -of g-gowd most wesowutewy snyatch'd *looks at you* on Monday nyight *twerks* and most -dissowutewy spent o-on Tuesday mownying; *leans over* got with sweawing 'Way by,' -and spent with OwO cwying 'Bwing in'; nyow iww xDD as wow an ebb as the -*notices bulge* foot of the w-waddew, and by-and-by in as high a fwow a-as the w-widge -*pokes you* of the gawwows. -Faw. By the *looks away* Wowd, thou s-say'st twue, wad- and is nyot my h-hostess of -the tavewn *shuffles closer* a most sweet uWu wench? -P-Pwince. As *looks away* the honyey of H-Hybwa, my owd wad of the castwe- and is nyot -a buff jewkin a *screams* most sweet ;;w;; wobe of duwance? -Faw. How nyow, how nyow, mad wag? What, in thy quips and thy -quiddities? What a pwague have I to do *moans* with a buff jewkin? -^.^ Pwince. Why, what a *sweats* pox have I to do with my hostess :33 of the t-tavewn? ->_> Faw. Weww, thou hast caww'd hew to a weckonying many a time and *sighs* oft. -Pwince. Did I e-evew caww fow thee to >_> pay thy p-pawt? -Faw. Nyo; I'ww g-give thee thy due, thou hast paid aww thewe. -*screams* Pwince. Yea, and e-ewsewhewe, so faw as my c-coin wouwd stwetch; and -whewe it wouwd nyot, I have used *cries* my cwedit. -Faw. Yea, and so u-us'd it that, wewe it nyot hewe appawent that thou -:3 awt heiw appawent- But I pwithee, sweet wag, shaww thewe *sighs* be -gawwows standing in Engwand w-when thou awt king? and wesowution -thus f-fubb'd as it is w-with *blushes* the w-wusty cuwb o-of o-owd fathew antic t-the -w-waw? Do nyot thou, ^-^ when thou awt k-king, hang a thief. -Pwince. Nyo; *leans over* thou shawt. -Faw. Shaww I? *blushes* O wawe! By the W-Wowd, I'ww be a bwave j-judge. -Pwince. :3 Thou judgest *moans* fawse awweady. I mean, thou UwU shawt have the -hanging o-of the *sighs* thieves and s-so become a wawe hangman. -Faw. Weww, Haw, weww; and in some x3 sowt it jumps with my humouw as -weww as waiting in the couwt, *sighs* I can t-teww you. -Pwince. ;;w;; Fow obtainying of uWu suits? -Faw. Yea, fow obtainying o-of suits, wheweof the hangman hath n-nyo *giggles shyly* wean -wawdwobe. '-'Sbwood, I am as mewanchowy as a gib-cat ow a wugg'd ->w< beaw. -Pwince. O-Ow *sweats* an owd wion, ow a >w< wovew's wute. -Faw. Yea, ow the dwonye o-of *looks at you* a Wincownshiwe b-bagpipe. -Pwince. What >_< sayest thou to a UwU hawe, ow the *twerks* mewanchowy of Moow -Ditch? -Faw. ^w^ Thou hast the most unsavouwy simiwes, and awt *cuddles you* indeed the most -*teleports behind you* compawative, *teleports behind you* wascawwiest, sweet *leans over* young pwince. But, Haw, I pwithee -twoubwe me n-nyo mowe with vanyity. I wouwd to God thou and I k-knyew -whewe >_> a commodity of ^.^ good nyames *twerks* wewe to b-be bought. A-An owd *twerks* wowd of -the Counciw w-wated me the othew day ^w^ in the stweet about you, siw, -but I m-mawk'd him nyot; and *teleports behind you* yet he tawked vewy wisewy, but I -wegawded him nyot; and yet he tawk'd wisewy, a-and in the s-stweet -t-too. -Pwince. *leans over* Thou didst weww; f-fow wisdom cwies out in the stweets, and -nyo man wegawds it. -Faw. O, thou hast damnyabwe itewation, and awt indeed abwe to -*moans* cowwupt a saint. Thou hast donye >w< much hawm upon me, Haw- God -fowgive thee fow it! Befowe I k-knyew thee, Haw, I knyew nyothing; a-and -nyow am I, if a man s-shouwd speak twuwy, wittwe bettew than o-onye of -the wicked. I must give ovew this wife, a-and I wiww *notices bulge* give it ovew! -By the Wowd, an I do nyot, I am a viwwain! I-I'ww be damn'd fow -nyevew a *sighs* king's s-son in Chwistendom. -Pwince. Whewe shaww we take a puwse tomowwow, Jack? -Faw. Zounds, whewe thou wiwt, wad! I-I'ww make onye. An *hugs tightly* I do nyot, caww -OwO me viwwain and baffwe me. -P-Pwince. I see a good amendment of wife in thee- fwom pwaying to -p-puwse-taking. -F-Faw. Why, H-Haw, 'tis my vocation, Haw. 'Tis *sighs* nyo sin fow a man to -wabouw in h-his vocation. - -Entew P-Poins. - -Poins! Nyow shaww *teleports behind you* we k-knyow if Gadshiww have set a m-match. O, if *teleports behind you* men -wewe to be saved by *leans over* mewit, what howe in heww wewe hot enyough fow -him? This is the m-most omnyipotent viwwain that evew *twerks* cwied 'Stand!' -to a twue man. -Pwince. Good m-mowwow, Nyed. -Poins. Good mowwow, sweet Haw. What s-says Monsieuw Wemowse? What -says S-Siw OwO John S-Sack and Sugaw? J-Jack, how agwees the deviw *looks at you* and t-thee -about thy *twerks* souw, that thou sowdest him on Good F-Fwiday wast f-fow a -cup of Madeiwa and a cowd c-capon's weg? -Pwince. Siw *hugs tightly* John stands to his wowd, t-the deviw s-shaww >_> have ^-^ his -bawgain; fow he >_< was nyevew y-yet a bweakew of pwovewbs. He wiww give -*leans over* the deviw his *notices bulge* due. -Poins. Then awt thou damn'd *hugs tightly* fow keeping thy wowd with *looks at you* the deviw. -*pokes you* Pwince. Ewse h-he had b-been *pokes you* damn'd fow cozenying the :3 deviw. -P-Poins. But, my ;;w;; wads, m-my *shuffles closer* wads, t-to-mowwow mownying, b-by fouw o'cwock -eawwy, *sweats* at *looks at you* Gadshiww! Thewe awe p-piwgwims gong *notices bulge* to Cantewbuwy with -wich offewings, and twadews widing to Wondon with fat *teleports behind you* puwses. I -;;w;; have *giggles shyly* vizawds fow UwU you aww; ;;w;; you have howses fow youwsewves. -Gadshiww wies to-nyight in Wochestew. I have bespoke *twerks* suppew -to-mowwow nyight in Eastcheap. We may d-do it as secuwe as *sighs* sweep. *shuffles closer* If -y-you wiww go, I wiww stuff ^-^ youw puwses fuww *shuffles closer* of cwowns; if you wiww -nyot, tawwy at home and be hang'd! -Faw. Heaw ye, Yedwawd: if I tawwy a-at home and go nyot, I'ww hang you -fow going. -Poins. xDD You wiww, chops? -Faw. Haw, wiwt *cries* thou make onye? -Pwince. Who, I wob? I a t-thief? ^.^ Nyot I-I, by my faith. -Faw. Thewe's x3 nyeithew honyesty, manhood, nyow good f-fewwowship in thee, -nyow thou cam'st nyot of *cuddles you* the bwood woyaw if *teleports behind you* thou dawest nyot stand -f-fow t-ten shiwwings. -Pwince. Weww t-then, once in my days I'ww be a madcap. -Faw. Why, that's weww said. -:3 Pwince. *moans* Weww, come what w-wiww, *cuddles you* I'ww tawwy at home. -F-Faw. By the Wowd, I'ww be a twaitow *blushes* then, when *giggles shyly* thou awt king. -Pwince. I cawe OwO nyot. -P-Poins. Siw John, I pwithee, *teleports behind you* weave the P-Pwince and me *looks at you* awonye. I wiww -way him down such w-weasons fow this adventuwe that *giggles shyly* he shaww go. -F-Faw. Weww, God g-give thee the s-spiwit of pewsuasion and him the eaws -of pwofiting, that what thou ;;w;; speakest may m-move and what he heaws -m-may ^.^ be bewieved, that the twue pwince may (fow wecweation *screams* sake) -uWu pwove a fawse >w< thief; OwO fow the poow abuses of the time want -countenyance. Faweweww; y-you shaww f-find me in Eastcheap. -Pwince. Faweweww, *leans over* thou wattew spwing! :33 faweweww, Aww-hawwown summew! -Exit *teleports behind you* Fawstaff. -Poins. Nyow, my good sweet honyey wowd, wide with us to-mowwow. *looks away* I -*shuffles closer* have a *shuffles closer* jest to e-execute that *cuddles you* I cannyot >_> manyage *pokes you* awonye. *looks at you* Fawstaff, -Bawdowph, P-Peto, *teleports behind you* and Gadshiww shaww wob those men that we have -awweady waywaid; youwsewf and I wiww nyot be :33 thewe; *looks away* and w-when they -*leans over* have the booty, if ^-^ you and I do nyot wob *looks away* them, *screams* cut *moans* this h-head off -*blushes* fwom my s-shouwdews. -Pwince. How shaww we pawt with ^w^ them in ^w^ setting fowth? -Poins. Why, we wiww set fowth befowe ow aftew them and a-appoint *shuffles closer* them -a pwace of meeting, whewein it is at ouw pweasuwe *looks at you* to faiw; and -then wiww xDD they adventuwe *looks away* upon the expwoit themsewves; which t-they -shaww *cuddles you* have nyo s-soonyew achieved, but *pokes you* we'ww set *looks away* upon them. -:33 Pwince. Yea, but 'tis *looks at you* wike that they wiww knyow us b-by ouw *sighs* howses, by -ouw habits, and by evewy othew appointment, to be o-ouwsewves. -;;w;; Poins. Tut! *twerks* ouw howses they s-shaww n-nyot see- I'ww tie them in the -OwO wood; ouw *sweats* wizawds w-we wiww UwU change aftew w-we x3 weave them; a-and, -siwwah, I have c-cases o-of uWu buckwam fow the nyonce, to ^-^ immask ouw -*sweats* nyoted outwawd ^-^ gawments. -Pwince. Yea, but I *blushes* doubt they wiww be too hawd fow us. -;;w;; Poins. Weww, f-fow two of t-them, I knyow them to be as OwO twue-bwed -^-^ cowawds as :33 evew UwU tuwn'd back; and fow the thiwd, if he fight -wongew than he sees weason, I'ww fowsweaw a-awms. The viwtue of -this jest wiww wie the i-incompwehensibwe wies that this s-same fat -wogue >_> wiww teww us when we *moans* meet at *cries* suppew: how thiwty, at weast, -he fought w-with; what wawds, what b-bwows, what extwemities he -enduwed; and in the w-wepwoof of t-this *leans over* wies the *cries* jest. -P-Pwince. W-Weww, I'ww *blushes* go *screams* with thee. Pwovide us :33 aww things nyecessawy -and *hugs tightly* meet me to-nyight in Eastcheap. T-Thewe I'ww sup. Faweweww. -Poins. Faweweww, m-my wowd. *twerks* Exit. -Pwince. I knyow you aww, and x3 wiww awhiwe uphowd -T-The unyok'd humouw of youw idwenyess. -Y-Yet OwO hewein wiww I imitate the sun, -Who doth pewmit the base contagious cwouds -To smothew up his beauty fwom the *leans over* wowwd, -That, *sighs* when h-he pwease a-again to wie himsewf, -Being wanted, he may be mowe ^w^ wond'wed >w< at -By b-bweaking thwough the fouw *sweats* and ugwy mists -uWu Of v-vapouws that did seem t-to stwangwe h-him. -I-If a-aww the yeaw w-wewe pwaying howidays, -To spowt :33 wouwd be as tedious as to wowk; -But when they s-sewdom come, they wish'd-fow c-come, -And nyothing pweaseth but wawe accidents. -So, when xDD this woose behaviouw I thwow off -And p-pay the d-debt I nyevew pwomised, -B-By how much :33 bettew t-than my wowd I a-am, -B-By so much shaww I fawsify men's hopes; -And, wike bwight metaw on a s-suwwen gwound, -My *leans over* wefowmation, gwitt'wing >_> o'ew my fauwt, -Shaww >w< show mowe goodwy and attwact m-mowe eyes -Than that which hath nyo *moans* foiw ^w^ to set it o-off. -I-I'ww s-so offend *moans* to make o-offence a skiww, -W-Wedeeming t-time x3 when *screams* men think weast I *teleports behind you* wiww. Exit. - - - - -Scenye III. -Wondon. The Pawace. - -Entew the K-King, Nyowthumbewwand, Wowcestew, Hotspuw, S-Siw Wawtew Bwunt, -with othews. - -*cries* King. My bwood hath been too cowd and tempewate, -Unyapt x3 to stiw at these i-indignyities, -And you have found me, fow *sweats* accowdingwy -You t-twead upon my patience; but be s-suwe -I wiww fwom hencefowth wathew be mysewf, -Mighty and to be feaw'd, than my condition, -W-Which hath b-been smooth as oiw, *giggles shyly* soft a-as young *twerks* down, -And thewefowe wost that titwe of wespect -Which the pwoud souw nye'ew pays but to the pwoud. -*pokes you* Wow. Ouw *moans* house, my soveweign w-wiege, wittwe desewves -The *looks away* scouwge of gweatnyess to be u-us'd on it- -And UwU that same *pokes you* gweatnyess *looks away* too which ouw own hands -Have howp to make *cuddles you* so *sighs* powtwy. ->_> Nyowth. M-My w-wowd- -King. *looks at you* Wowcestew, g-get *giggles shyly* thee gonye; *sighs* fow ^-^ I do see -Dangew and d-disobedience ;;w;; in thinye eye. -UwU O, *sweats* siw, youw pwesence is *shuffles closer* too bowd and pewemptowy, -And majesty m-might nyevew yet enduwe -The *moans* moody :33 fwontiew of a sewvant bwow. -*teleports behind you* Tou have good weave to weave us. When we nyeed -'Youw use and counsew, we shaww x3 send fow you. -Exit Wowcestew. -*leans over* You wewe *looks away* about to speak. -Nyowth. Yea, my good w-wowd. -Those pwisonyews *sweats* in youw H-Highnyess' nyame demanded -Which Hawwy P-Pewcy hewe a-at Howmedon took, -Wewe, as he says, n-nyot with such ^w^ stwength denyied -As i-is dewivewed to youw *cuddles you* Majesty. -Eithew envy, thewefowe, ow mispwision -Is guiwty of this fauwt, and nyot my son. -Hot. My wiege, I did deny nyo pwisonyews. -B-But I wemembew, when the *looks away* fight w-was donye, -When I w-was dwy with wage and *teleports behind you* extweme *giggles shyly* toww, -Bweathwess a-and faint, weanying upon my swowd, -Came thewe a *looks away* cewtain wowd, ^w^ nyeat and twimwy ;;w;; dwess'd, -Fwesh as a bwidegwoom; and his chin nyew weap'd -Show'd w-wike ^-^ a stubbwe wand at hawvest home. -*screams* He was pewfumed wike *twerks* a miwwinyew, -And 'twixt h-his f-fingew and his thumb OwO he hewd -*cuddles you* A pouncet box, *moans* which evew and anyon -^.^ He gave his nyose, and took't a-away again; -xDD Who thewewith angwy, >_< when it nyext came thewe, -*moans* Took it in snyuff; and stiww he smiw'd and tawk'd; -A-And as the sowdiews ^w^ bowe dead bodies by, -He caww'd them untaught knyaves, unmannyewwy, -To bwing a swovenwy unhandsome cowse ->_< Betwixt the wind and his nyobiwity. -With many howiday and *moans* wady tewms -He questionyed me, amongst the west demanded -M-My pwisonyews *hugs tightly* in youw M-Majesty's *moans* behawf. -I then, aww smawting ^-^ with my wounds being cowd, -To *cries* be >_> so pest'wed *looks at you* with a popingay, -:33 Out of >_> my gwief and *screams* my i-impatience -A-Answew'd nyegwectingwy, I-I k-knyow n-nyot what- -He shouwd, ow he shouwd nyot; fow he made me m-mad -To see him shinye s-so bwisk, *sighs* and smeww so sweet, -^w^ And tawk *sweats* so wike a w-waiting gentwewoman -Of guns and dwums and w-wounds- God save the mawk!- -A-And *leans over* tewwing me the soveweignyest thing on eawth -Was pawmacity fow >_< an inwawd bwuise; -And that it was gweat pity, *cuddles you* so *cries* it was, -This viwwanyous sawtpetwe shouwd be digg'd -;;w;; Out of the bowews of the hawmwess eawth, -Which many x3 a good taww f-fewwow had destwoy'd -So cowawdwy; and but f-fow these viwe 'guns, -He wouwd himsewf have been a sowdiew. -This bawd unjointed chat >_< of his, m-my wowd, -I answewed indiwectwy, as I said, -And I beseech you, *twerks* wet nyot h-his wepowt -Come cuwwent fow an accusation -Betwixt my wove and youw high majesty. -Bwunt. The ciwcumstance considewed, good my wowd, -Whate'ew Wowd *twerks* Hawwy Pewcy then had said -To such a pewson, and in such a-a pwace, -At such a time, with aww the west wetowd, -May weasonyabwy die, >w< and nyevew wise -x3 To do him wwong, ow any way impeach -*cuddles you* What then *sighs* he s-said, so he unsay it nyow. -K-King. Why, yet he doth ;;w;; deny OwO his pwisonyews, -B-But with pwoviso and exception, -*moans* That we at ouw own chawge shaww wansom stwaight -His bwothew-in-waw, the f-foowish *screams* Mowtimew; -Who, on my souw, hath wiwfuwwy betway'd -The wives *teleports behind you* of those that he did wead to fight -Against *cries* that gweat magician, damn'd *leans over* Gwendowew, -W-Whose daughtew, as we heaw, t-the Eaww o-of M-Mawch -Hath watewy mawwied. Shaww ouw coffews, then, -Be emptied to wedeem a twaitow home? -S-Shaww *looks at you* we buy tweason? and indent with feaws -When they have wost >_> and fowfeited >_> themsewves? -Nyo, on the b-bawwen *cries* mountains wet *moans* him s-stawve! -Fow >_> I shaww *giggles shyly* nyevew howd that man my fwiend -Whose tongue shaww ask m-me fow *cuddles you* onye penny cost -To wansom h-home wevowted *notices bulge* Mowtimew. -*looks at you* Hot. Wevowted Mowtimew? -He nyevew ^.^ did faww off, ^w^ my *cuddles you* soveweign wiege, -But by the chance of waw. uWu To UwU pwove that twue -N-Nyeeds nyo mowe b-but o-onye tongue fow aww those wounds, -Those *hugs tightly* mouthed wounds, which vawiantwy he took -When on the g-gentwe >_< Sevewn's sedgy bank, -In singwe opposition hand to hand, -He did confound the best pawt of a-an houw -In changing hawdiment with g-gweat Gwendowew. -Thwee times they bweath'd, and thwee times >_> did they dwink, -U-Upon agweement, of swift *looks at you* Sevewn's fwood; -Who then, affwighted with theiw *twerks* bwoody *pokes you* wooks, -Wan >_> feawfuwwy among the twembwing weeds -And hid *teleports behind you* his cwisp head in the *looks away* howwow bank, -Bwoodstainyed with *shuffles closer* these vawiant cohabitants. -Nyevew did *sweats* base and wotten powicy -Cowouw hew wowking *cuddles you* with such *moans* deadwy wounds; -Nyow nyevew couwd the nyobwe *twerks* Mowtimew -*blushes* Weceive *sighs* so many, and :3 aww w-wiwwingwy. -Then wet n-nyot h-him be swandewed with wevowt. -King. Thou dost bewie h-him, Pewcy, thou dost bewie him! -He nyevew did encountew with G-Gwendowew. -I teww *sighs* thee -He duwst as weww *sweats* have met OwO the deviw awonye -As Owen Gwendowew fow an enyemy. -*looks away* Awt thou nyot a-asham'd? But, siwwah, hencefowth -Wet me nyot heaw you speak o-of Mowtimew. -Send OwO me youw pwisonyews with t-the speediest means, -Ow you shaww heaw i-in such a k-kind fwom me -As wiww dispwease you. ^.^ My *shuffles closer* Wowd Nyowthumbewwand, -We *teleports behind you* wicense youw OwO depawtuwe with youw son.- -Send us youw pwisonyews, *blushes* ow ;;w;; you wiww heaw of it. -Exeunt King, [-[Bwunt, and *cries* Twain] -Hot. An if the deviw come and woaw fow them, -I wiww *twerks* nyot send them. I w-wiww aftew stwaight -And teww him so; fow I wiww ewse my xDD heawt, -Awbeit I-I make a hazawd of my head. -Nyowth. What, dwunk with chowew? Stay, and pause awhiwe. -*sighs* Hewe comes youw u-uncwe. - -Entew Wowcestew. - -Hot. Speak of Mowtimew? -Zounds, I wiww s-speak of h-him, and wet my souw -Want mewcy if I do nyot join with :33 him! -*blushes* Yea, on his *giggles shyly* pawt I'ww empty aww these v-veins, -And shed my uWu deaw bwood dwop by dwop ^w^ in the dust, -*hugs tightly* But I wiww wift the downtwod Mowtimew -As high i-in the aiw as this unthankfuw king, -*sighs* As this ingwate >_> and cank'wed Bowingbwoke. -Nyowth. Bwothew, the King hath made youw nyephew mad. -*moans* Wow. uWu Who stwuck this heat up aftew I-I was gonye? -*sighs* Hot. He ;;w;; wiww (fowsooth) have aww my pwisonyews; -And when I u-uwg'd the *moans* wansom ;;w;; once again -Of my wive's bwothew, then his cheek *sighs* wook'd pawe, -And on uWu my face he tuwn'd an eye of death, -Twembwing even at t-the nyame OwO of >_> Mowtimew. -*leans over* Wow. I-I cannyot bwame him. Was nyot he pwocwaim'd -By Wichawd that dead is, the nyext of bwood? -Nyowth. He was; I heawd *giggles shyly* the *sweats* pwocwamation. -A-And *twerks* then it was *screams* when t-the unhappy *looks away* King -(Whose wwongs *shuffles closer* in :3 us God pawdon!) did set fowth -Upon his Iwish expedition; -Fwom whence he intewcepted did w-wetuwn -*sighs* To b-be depos'd, *hugs tightly* and showtwy m-muwdewed. -Wow. And fow whose death *blushes* we in the wowwd's wide ^.^ mouth -Wive scandawiz'd and *notices bulge* fouwwy spoken ;;w;; of. -*cries* Hot. *sighs* But soft, I-I pway you. Did King Wichawd then -Pwocwaim my bwothew *teleports behind you* Edmund Mowtimew -Heiw to the cwown? ->_> Nyowth. He did; mysewf did heaw it. -Hot. :33 Nyay, then I cannyot bwame his cousin king, -That wish'd him on the bawwen mountains stawve. -*shuffles closer* But shaww it be that you, t-that set the cwown -Upon the head of this fowgetfuw man, -And fow his sake weaw the detested bwot -*screams* Of muwthewous s-subownyation- shaww it be -That y-you a w-wowwd of *notices bulge* cuwses u-undewgo, -*twerks* Being t-the agents ow base second means, -The c-cowds, the waddew, ow the hangman wathew? -O, p-pawdon me that *screams* I descend *shuffles closer* so wow -To show t-the winye a-and the pwedicament -Whewein you *screams* wange undew this subtiwe king! -*twerks* Shaww it fow shame ^w^ be spoken >_> in *leans over* these days, -Ow >_< fiww up chwonyicwes in time to come, -That men of *cuddles you* youw nyobiwity and powew -*twerks* Did gage them both i-in an unjust behawf -(As both of you, *looks at you* God p-pawdon it! have d-donye) -To put down Wichawd, that sweet wovewy x3 wose, -And pwant this thown, this cankew, Bowingbwoke? -And shaww it in mowe shame be *screams* fuwthew spoken -That you a-awe foow'd, discawded, and shook off -By him fow whom *shuffles closer* these shames *teleports behind you* ye u-undewwent? -Nyo! yet time sewves whewein ^-^ you may wedeem -Youw banyish'd honyouws and westowe youwsewves -Into the good thoughts of the wowwd again; -Wevenge the jeewing and disdain'd contempt -*screams* Of this *pokes you* pwoud king, who studies day and nyight -To *pokes you* answew *moans* aww t-the debt he owes to you -Even with *looks away* the bwoody OwO payment of youw deaths. -xDD Thewefowe I say- -*notices bulge* Wow. Peace, cousin, say nyo m-mowe; -And n-nyow, I wiww u-uncwasp a secwet book, -A-And t-to youw quick-conceiving discontents -I'ww wead you mattew deep and dangewous, -As fuww *teleports behind you* of pewiw and adventuwous spiwit -As to o-o'ewwawk a c-cuwwent woawing woud -On the unsteadfast footing o-of *giggles shyly* a speaw. -Hot. *twerks* If he f-faww in, *hugs tightly* good nyight, ^-^ ow *cuddles you* sink *twerks* ow swim! -Send dangew fwom t-the *shuffles closer* east unto :33 the west, -So honyouw cwoss it fwom *teleports behind you* the ;;w;; nyowth to s-south, -And wet them gwappwe. O, ;;w;; the bwood mowe stiws -To wouse a wion >_> than t-to stawt a hawe! -Nyowth. Imaginyation of some gweat expwoit -Dwives him beyond the bounds of patience. -Hot. By h-heaven, methinks i-it wewe *looks at you* an ;;w;; easy weap -To p-pwuck bwight honyouw fwom the p-pawe-fac'd *giggles shyly* moon, -Ow dive ^w^ into the b-bottom of the deep, -Whewe fadom UwU winye couwd nyevew touch t-the gwound, -And pwuck up d-dwownyed honyouw by the wocks, -So he that doth w-wedeem hew thence might *hugs tightly* weaw -Without cowwivaw aww hew dignyities; -*teleports behind you* But out u-upon t-this hawf-fac'd *twerks* fewwowship! -*twerks* Wow. He appwehends a wowwd of figuwes hewe, -But nyot the fowm of what h-he shouwd attend. -Good *pokes you* cousin, *notices bulge* give me audience fow a whiwe. -Hot. I cwy you mewcy. -Wow. Those same nyobwe Scots -That awe youw p-pwisonyews- -H-Hot. I'ww *shuffles closer* keep them *moans* aww. -:3 By God, he s-shaww nyot have a *looks away* Scot *notices bulge* of them! -Nyo, if a Scot wouwd save his souw, *shuffles closer* he shaww UwU nyot. -I'ww *giggles shyly* keep them, by this h-hand! -W-Wow. You s-stawt away. -And wend nyo e-eaw unto my puwposes. -Those pwisonyews you *moans* shaww keep. -Hot. N-Nyay, I wiww! T-That is fwat! -He said *giggles shyly* he wouwd nyot wansom OwO Mowtimew, -Fowbade m-my tongue to speak of M-Mowtimew, -^-^ But I *sweats* wiww f-find him when he wies asweep, -And in OwO his eaw I-I'ww howwoa 'Mowtimew.' -*teleports behind you* Nyay; -I'ww have a stawwing shaww b-be taught *pokes you* to speak -Nyothing but 'Mowtimew,' and give it him -To keep his angew stiww in motion. -Wow. Heaw you, cousin, a w-wowd. -H-Hot. Aww studies hewe I sowemnwy defy -Save how to g-gaww and pinch this Bowingbwoke; -A-And that same swowd-and-buckwew Pwince of *looks away* Wawes- -*teleports behind you* But that I think his fathew woves him nyot -*screams* And wouwd be *leans over* gwad he met with some mischance, -I wouwd have him poisonyed with a pot of ^.^ awe. -Wow. Faweweww, kinsman. ^.^ I wiww tawk :33 to you -When you awe bettew ^.^ tempew'd t-to attend. -N-Nyowth. Why, what *leans over* a wasp-stung :3 and impatient foow -Awt t-thou to bweak into this w-woman's mood, -Tying thinye *teleports behind you* eaw to n-nyo *looks away* tongue but thinye own! -H-Hot. Why, wook you, I-I am whipp'd and scouwg'd with wods, -:3 Nyettwed, and stung with pismiwes when *hugs tightly* I heaw -*shuffles closer* Of this viwe powitician, Bowingbwoke. -In Wichawd's :3 time- what do you caww the pwace- -A pwague upon *screams* it! it is in GIoucestewshiwe- -'Twas whewe the madcap Duke his uncwe kept- -His uncwe Yowk- whewe I fiwst b-bow'd my knyee -Unto ^w^ this king of smiwes, this Bowingbwoke- -'S bwood! -When you and h-he c-came back fwom Wavenspuwgh- -*cries* Nyowth. At Bewkewey C-Castwe. -Hot. You say twue. -Why, what a candy deaw of couwtesy -This fawnying gweyhound then did pwoffew me! -Wook, 'when his i-infant *teleports behind you* fowtunye came to a-age,' -And 'gentwe *shuffles closer* Hawwy P-Pewcy,' and 'kind *blushes* cousin'- -O, *teleports behind you* the deviw take such cozenyews!- God fowgive *screams* me! -Good uncwe, teww youw tawe, f-fow I have donye. -W-Wow. Nyay, if you have n-nyot, to it again. -We wiww stay youw w-weisuwe. -H-Hot. I-I have donye, i' faith. -Wow. OwO Then once mowe t-to youw Scottish pwisonyews. -Dewivew them up without theiw wansom stwaight, -And make the Dougwas' son youw onwy *cries* mean -Fow powews *giggles shyly* In Scotwand; which, fow divews weasons -Which I shaww send you wwitten, be assuw'd -Wiww easiwy be gwanted. [To Nyowthumbewwand] You, my *blushes* wowd, -Youw son in Scotwand *cuddles you* being OwO thus empwoy'd, -Shaww secwetwy i-into the bosom cweep -Of uWu that same nyobwe p-pwewate *pokes you* weww-bewov'd, -The Awchbishop. -Hot. Of *looks away* Yowk, is it nyot? -Wow. Twue; who b-beaws hawd -His >w< bwothew's death at Bwistow, the xDD Wowd Scwoop. -*looks away* I speak nyot this in estimation, -A-As what I think might be, but what I knyow -Is *cries* wuminyated, pwotted, and set down, -A-And onwy stays but to behowd the face -Of *leans over* that OwO occasion *notices bulge* that shaww bwing it o-on. -H-Hot. I smeww it. Upon *teleports behind you* my wife, i-it wiww do weww. -*pokes you* Nyowth. Befowe the game is afoot thou *moans* stiww wet'st swip. -Hot. Why, it cannyot choose OwO but b-be a nyobwe p-pwot. -And then the powew of Scotwand and of Yowk -To join OwO with UwU Mowtimew, ha? -Wow. And so they shaww. -H-Hot. In faith, it i-is e-exceedingwy weww aim'd. -^-^ Wow. And '-'tis nyo w-wittwe w-weason bids u-us speed, -To save ouw heads b-by waising of a head; -Fow, beaw ouwsewves as even as we can, -The King wiww awways think him in ouw debt, -And think ^.^ we think ouwsewves unsatisfied, -Tiww >_> he x3 hath found a time to *screams* pay us ;;w;; home. -And s-see awweady how h-he doth begin -To make us stwangews to his wooks of ^w^ wove. -H-Hot. He does, OwO he does! We'ww be w-weveng'd >_> on him. -*pokes you* Wow. Cousin, faweweww. Nyo fuwthew go *twerks* in this -Than >_> I by :3 wettews shaww diwect youw couwse. -When time uWu is wipe, which wiww be suddenwy, -I'ww steaw t-to G-Gwendowew and Wowd Mowtimew, -Whewe you and Dougwas, and ouw p-pow'ws at once, -As I w-wiww fashion it, shaww happiwy meet, -To b-beaw ouw fowtunyes in ouw own stwong >_> awms, -Which nyow we howd at much uncewtainty. -Nyowth. Faweweww, good bwothew. We shaww xDD thwive, I-I twust. -Hot. Uncwe, adieu. O, wet the houws :33 be showt -Tiww *pokes you* fiewds and bwows and *teleports behind you* gwoans *notices bulge* appwaud ouw spowt! >_< Exeunt. - - - - -<-<_< SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW *looks away* DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT :3 II. Scenye :33 I. -Wochestew. An inn yawd. - -Entew a Cawwiew with a wantewn in his hand. - -*giggles shyly* 1. Caw. Heigh-ho! an it be nyot fouw by OwO the day, I'ww be hang'd. -Chawwes' wain is ovew the nyew ^w^ chimnyey, and y-yet ouw howse nyot -pack'd.- What, ostwew! -Ost. [within] >_< Anyon, anyon. -1. Caw. I *sighs* pwithee, T-Tom, >_< beat Cut's saddwe, put a-a few fwocks *sweats* in the -point. ^.^ Poow jade :33 is wwung in the withews out of aww cess. - -Entew anyothew :33 Cawwiew. - -2. Caw. *shuffles closer* Peas and beans awe as dank *hugs tightly* hewe *leans over* as a dog, and that is the ->_> nyext way to give poow jades the bots. This house ;;w;; is tuwnyed >w< upside -down since Wobin *cuddles you* Ostwew died. -1. Caw. *hugs tightly* Poow fewwow nyevew ^.^ joyed since the pwice of o-oats uWu wose. It -was the death of him. -2. Caw. *leans over* I think this be the most viwwanyous house in aww Wondon woad -*pokes you* fow fweas. I am *sweats* stung wike a tench. -1. Caw. Wike a tench I-I By *teleports behind you* the m-mass, thewe is nye'ew a king chwisten -couwd be bettew b-bit >_< than I have been uWu since the fiwst *cries* cock. -2. C-Caw. Why, they wiww a-awwow us nye'ew a jowdan, *sighs* and then we weak *looks at you* in -youw chimnyey, and youw chambew-wye bweeds fweas wike a *sweats* woach. -1. Caw. What, >_< ostwew! come away and OwO be hang'd! come away! -2. Caw. I h-have a gammon of b-bacon uWu and t-two wazes of *notices bulge* gingew, to *moans* be -dewivewed a-as faw as Chawing Cwoss. -1. *pokes you* Caw. God's body! t-the tuwkeys in my pannyiew awe quite stawved. -What, ostwew! A pwague on thee! hast thou nyevew an eye i-in thy -head? Canst nyot heaw? ^.^ An 'twewe nyot as good deed a-as dwink *cuddles you* to -*sighs* bweak the p-pate on thee, I-I am a-a vewy *screams* viwwain. Come, and b-be hang'd! -Hast nyo faith *pokes you* in thee? - -Entew Gadshiww. - -Gads. *giggles shyly* Good mowwow, c-cawwiews. What's o'cwock? -1. Caw. I-I think OwO it be t-two o'cwock. -*cries* Gads. I pwithee ;;w;; wend me this wantewn to see my gewding i-in the -*moans* stabwe. -1. Caw. >w< Nyay, by God, soft! I knyow ^w^ a twick wowth t-two of that, -i' f-faith. -Gads. I pway ;;w;; thee wend me thinye. -2-2. Caw. Ay, when? canst teww? *sweats* Wend me thy wantewn, quoth h-he? Mawwy, -I'ww see t-thee h-hang'd *looks away* fiwst! -Gads. Siwwah cawwiew, >_> what time do you mean to come to Wondon? -2. *shuffles closer* Caw. Time enyough to *hugs tightly* go to *looks away* bed with a ^.^ candwe, I wawwant thee. -Come, n-nyeighbouw M-Mugs, *hugs tightly* we'ww c-caww up the gentwemen. They w-wiww -awong with company, f-fow they have g-gweat chawge. -Exeunt [Cawwiews]. -*leans over* Gads. What, ho! chambewwain! - -Entew Chambewwain. - -Cham. At hand, quoth pickpuwse. -Gads. That's e-even as faiw *notices bulge* as- 'at hand, q-quoth the chambewwain'; UwU fow -uWu thou v-vawiest n-nyo mowe fwom picking of puwses t-than giving diwection -*screams* doth fwom wabouwing: thou wayest the *moans* pwot how. -Cham. Good mowwow, Mastew Gadshiww. It h-howds cuwwent that *twerks* I towd -you *sweats* yestewnyight. Thewe's a *cuddles you* fwankwin in the Wiwd of Kent *giggles shyly* hath -bwought t-thwee hundwed mawks with him in gowd. >w< I h-heawd h-him teww UwU it -to onye of his c-company wast nyight >_< at s-suppew- a k-kind of auditow; -o-onye that hath a-abundance of chawge too, God *looks at you* knyows what. They awe -;;w;; up awweady and caww *cuddles you* fow eggs and *moans* buttew. T-They wiww away -pwesentwy. -Gads. Siwwah, if t-they meet nyot w-with Saint Nyichowas' cwewks, I'ww -g-give t-thee *moans* this *giggles shyly* nyeck. -Cham. Nyo, I'ww ^w^ nyonye of i-it. *sighs* I pway thee keep that f-fow the hangman; -f-fow *cries* I knyow thou w-wowshippest Saint Nyichowas as twuwy as *sweats* a man of -fawsehood x3 may. -Gads. What tawkest *pokes you* thou to me of *looks away* the hangman? If I hang, I'ww make -a fat paiw of gawwows; fow if I hang, owd S-Siw *notices bulge* John *sighs* hangs with me, -and xDD thou knyowest he is nyo stawvewing. Tut! thewe *notices bulge* awe othew -Twoyans that thou dweam'st n-nyot ^-^ of, *shuffles closer* the which fow spowt sake awe -content to d-do the pwofession some gwace; that w-wouwd (if mattews -shouwd be wook'd ^-^ into) fow theiw own cwedit s-sake make *looks away* aww whowe. -I am joinyed with nyo uWu foot wand-wakews, nyo wong-staff sixpenny -stwikews, nyonye of :3 these mad mustachio puwpwe-hued mawtwowms; b-but -with nyobiwity, and twanquiwwity, buwgomastews and gweat o-onyeyews, -such as can h-howd in, such as wiww stwike soonyew than speak, and -speak soonyew than dwink, and dwink soonyew than pway; and yet, -zounds, I wie; fow they p-pway >w< continyuawwy to theiw *cuddles you* saint, the -c-commonweawth, ow x3 wathew, nyot pway OwO to h-hew, but pwey on *pokes you* hew, f-fow -they w-wide up and down UwU on hew and :33 make hew t-theiw boots. -Cham. What, the commonweawth theiw b-boots? Wiww she howd out watew -in fouw way? -Gads. x3 She wiww, she w-wiww! Justice hath wiquow'd hew. We steaw as xDD in -a castwe, cocksuwe. We have the weceipt of *sighs* fewnseed, we w-wawk -invisibwe. -Cham. N-Nyay, b-by *giggles shyly* my faith, I t-think you awe mowe behowding *sweats* to the nyight -than to fewnseed *notices bulge* fow youw wawking invisibwe. -Gads. *giggles shyly* Give me thy hand. Thou shawt *twerks* have a shawe *twerks* in ouw p-puwchase, as -I and a-a twue man. -Cham. Nyay, wathew wet me have *cuddles you* it, x3 as you awe a-a f-fawse t-thief. -Gads. Go to; 'homo' is a c-common nyame to aww xDD men. Bid the ostwew -b-bwing m-my ^w^ gewding out of the stabwe. Faweweww, you muddy *cries* knyave. -Exeunt. - - - - -uWu Scenye I-II. -*blushes* The highway n-nyeaw Gadshiww. - -Entew Pwince a-and Poins. - -x3 Poins. *sweats* Come, shewtew, shewtew! I have wemov'd Fawstaff's howse, and -h-he fwets wike a-a gumm'd *screams* vewvet. -Pwince. Stand cwose. [They step aside.] - -Entew Fawstaff. - -Faw. ^w^ Poins! Poins, and be hang'd! Poins! -*cries* Pwince. I *screams* comes fowwawd I Peace, ye fat-kidnyey'd wascaw! What a -bwawwing d-dost thou keep! -*hugs tightly* Faw. >w< Whewe's Poins, Haw? -*sighs* Pwince. He i-is wawk'd up to OwO the OwO top o-of the hiww. I'ww go seek >w< him. -[Steps aside.] -Faw. I am accuws'd to wob in that thief's company. The wascaw hath -wemoved my howse and tied him I k-knyow nyot whewe. I-If I twavew *notices bulge* but -f-fouw foot by the squiwe fuwthew afoot, I shaww b-bweak my wind. -Weww, I doubt n-nyot but to die a-a faiw death fow aww this, if I -scape *shuffles closer* hanging fow kiwwing that wogue. I *notices bulge* have fowswown h-his company -houwwy any time t-this two-and-twenty yeaws, and yet *sighs* I am *twerks* bewitch'd -with OwO the wogue's company. If the wascaw have n-nyot given me -medicinyes to m-make me wove him, I'ww *screams* be hang'd. It couwd nyot be -ewse. I have dwunk medicinyes. Poins! H-Haw! *screams* A :3 pwague upon *notices bulge* you *leans over* both! -Bawdowph! Peto! I-I'ww s-stawve ewe I'ww x3 wob a foot *hugs tightly* fuwthew. >w< An -'twewe nyot as ;;w;; good a deed as dwink to tuwn twue man and to weave -these wogues, *sweats* I am *looks away* the vewiest vawwet that evew chewed with a -tooth. Eight yawds of unyeven gwound is *hugs tightly* thweescowe and ten miwes -afoot with *cries* me, a-and the stony-heawted viwwains knyow it weww -enyough. A pwague upon it ;;w;; when thieves cannyot be >_< twue onye to -anyothew! (They whistwe.) W-Whew! A p-pwague upon you a-aww! Give me my -howse, you wogues! give me uWu my h-howse and be hang'd! -Pwince. [comes fowwawd] *sweats* Peace, *cries* ye fat-guts! Wie d-down, way thinye eaw -cwose *pokes you* to the *sighs* gwound, and wist i-if thou canst heaw the twead of -twavewwews. -F-Faw. Have y-you any wevews to wift me up again, being :33 down? 'Sbwood, -I-I'ww nyot beaw minye own fwesh *giggles shyly* so faw *looks away* afoot *cuddles you* again *notices bulge* fow aww the coin -in t-thy fathew's ^-^ exchequew. W-What a pwague mean ye to cowt me thus? -Pwince. Thou wiest; thou uWu awt nyot cowted, *hugs tightly* thou awt uncowted. -Faw. *hugs tightly* I pwithee, good Pwince :3 Haw, hewp me to *teleports behind you* my howse, good king's -son. -Pwince. O-Out, *pokes you* ye wogue! x3 Shaww I be youw ostwew? -Faw. ^.^ Go hang thysewf in thinye own *cuddles you* heiw-appawent gawtews! If I *notices bulge* be -ta'en, I'ww peach ^w^ fow this. *giggles shyly* An I *looks away* have nyot bawwads made on you -aww, and sung t-to fiwthy *teleports behind you* tunyes, wet a cup o-of *pokes you* sack *notices bulge* be my poison. -When a jest is so fowwawd- a-and *leans over* afoot OwO too- :3 I hate it. - -Entew Gadshiww, *looks at you* [Bawdowph >_< and Peto with him]. - -Gads. Stand! -Faw. So I do, against my wiww. -Poins. [comes >_> fowtwawd] O-O, 'tis ouw s-settew. I knyow his *screams* voice. -Bawdowph, what nyews? -Baw. Case *teleports behind you* ye, *teleports behind you* case ye! On with youw *screams* vizawds! T-Thewe's monyey of the -King's coming down the hiww; 'tis going to the >_< King's exchequew. -*notices bulge* Faw. You wie, ye wogue! 'Tis going to the *moans* King's tavewn. -Gads. Thewe's *looks away* enyough to make >_> us aww. -F-Faw. To be h-hang'd. -Pwince. Siws, you f-fouw shaww fwont them in the nyawwow wanye; Nyed -Poins and I wiww wawk wowew. If *sweats* they scape fwom youw encountew, -then *looks away* they wight on us. -Peto. How many be thewe of them? -Gads. Some eight ow ten. -F-Faw. Zounds, wiww they nyot wob us? -Pwince. What, a cowawd, Siw J-John Paunch? -*leans over* Faw. Indeed, I am *teleports behind you* nyot ^w^ John *leans over* of Gaunt, youw uWu gwandfathew; but yet nyo -cowawd, Haw. -P-Pwince. uWu Weww, we weave that *screams* to t-the pwoof. -Poins. Siwwah J-Jack, thy howse *screams* stands behind t-the hedge. When thou -nyeed'st him, thewe thou shawt find UwU him. Faweweww and stand fast. -Faw. >w< Nyow cannyot I s-stwike him, if I shouwd be h-hang'd. -Pwince. [-[aside t-to Poins] Nyed, whewe *giggles shyly* awe ouw d-disguises? -Poins. [aside to Pwince] Hewe, hawd by. Stand cwose. -[Exeunt Pwince *leans over* and Poins.] -Faw. N-Nyow, m-my mastews, happy man be his dowe, say I. Evewy man to -his businyess. - -Entew the ^w^ Twavewwews. - -Twavewwew. C-Come, nyeighbouw. -The boy shaww *sweats* wead ouw howses down the hiww; -We'ww wawk afoot *looks at you* awhiwe and ease ^.^ ouw wegs. -Thieves. Stand! -Twavewwew. Jesus bwess us! -Faw. Stwike! down with them! cut the viwwains' thwoats! Ah, -whoweson catewpiwwaws! b-bacon-fed knyaves! *giggles shyly* they *moans* hate us youth. *teleports behind you* Down -with t-them! fweece them! -Twavewwew. O, *looks away* we awe undonye, *notices bulge* both >_< we *looks at you* and ouws fow evew! -Faw. Hang ye, gowbewwied knyaves, *twerks* awe ye xDD undonye? Nyo, ye fat chuffs; -I wouwd youw stowe wewe hewe! On, bacons on! *giggles shyly* What, ye knyaves! -young men must wive. You awe gwandjuwows, awe ye? *blushes* We'ww juwe *sweats* ye, -faith! -Hewe they wob and bind them. Exeunt. - -^.^ Entew the Pwince and Poins [in buckwam suits]. - -OwO Pwince. The thieves have bound the twue men. Nyow couwd t-thou and I -wob the thieves and go mewwiwy to Wondon, it wouwd be awgument -fow a week, waughtew fow a-a m-month, and a good jest fow evew. -Poins. *hugs tightly* Stand cwose! I heaw them *sighs* coming. -[They stand :33 aside.] - -Entew the Thieves again. - -Faw. Come, ;;w;; my ^.^ mastews, wet us shawe, and then to howse b-befowe day. -An the Pwince and ^w^ Poins be nyot two awwant cowawds, thewe's nyo -equity stiwwing. Thewe's nyo mowe vawouw in that Poins *blushes* than in a -*cuddles you* wiwd duck. - -[As they *looks at you* awe shawing, t-the Pwince and Poins set upon -t-them. THey aww wun away, and Fawstaff, *leans over* aftew a bwow o-ow -t-two, wuns xDD awasy *shuffles closer* too, *teleports behind you* weaving the booty behind them.] - -Pwince. Youw monyey! -Poins. *teleports behind you* Viwwains! - -Pwince. Got *sweats* with much ease. Nyow mewwiwy *teleports behind you* to howse. -The thieves awe s-scattewed, ^-^ and possess'd with *hugs tightly* feaw -*twerks* So stwongwy that xDD they dawe nyot meet :3 each othew. -Each t-takes his fewwow fow *giggles shyly* an officew. -Away, good N-Nyed. Fawstaff s-sweats to death -And wawds the w-wean *pokes you* eawth as he wawks >w< awong. -Wewe't nyot fow waughing, I shouwd pity him. -Poins. How >_> the wogue woaw'd! Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye *sweats* III. -xDD Wawkwowth Castwe. - -E-Entew Hotspuw sowus, weading a *looks at you* wettew. - -Hot. 'But, fow minye own *notices bulge* pawt, my wowd, I-I couwd be weww contented *sighs* to -*hugs tightly* be thewe, in *twerks* wespect of the wove I beaw *teleports behind you* youw house.' He couwd be -*giggles shyly* contented- why is he nyot then? I-In w-wespect of the wove he beaws -ouw house! He shows in this h-he woves h-his own bawn b-bettew t-than *sweats* he -woves *shuffles closer* ouw house. Wet me s-see some mowe. 'The puwpose ^-^ you undewtake -is dangewous'- W-Why, that's cewtain! 'Tis dangewous to take a -^-^ cowd, to *twerks* sweep, to dwink; but I teww you, my *notices bulge* wowd f-foow, o-out of -t-this nyettwe, d-dangew, we pwuck this fwowew, safety. 'The p-puwpose -you undewtake is dangewous, the fwiends *giggles shyly* you have nyamed ^w^ uncewtain, -the time itsewf u-unsowted, and youw whowe pwot too wight *teleports behind you* fow the -countewpoise *pokes you* of so gweat an opposition.' Say :33 you so, x3 say you so? -I say unto you :3 again, you awe a shawwow, cowawdwy hind, >w< and you -wie. W-What a wack-bwain is ^.^ this! By the Wowd, ouw p-pwot is a good -p-pwot as evew *moans* was waid; ouw fwiends twue and *leans over* constant: a g-good -pwot, good fwiends, and fuww of e-expectation; an *cries* excewwent pwot, -vewy g-good f-fwiends. What a fwosty-spiwited wogue is this! Why, *twerks* my -Wowd of Yowk *notices bulge* commends the pwot a-and the genyewaw c-couwse of the -action. Zounds, an I-I wewe nyow *giggles shyly* by >_> this wascaw, I *cuddles you* couwd bwain him -with *shuffles closer* his *giggles shyly* wady's fan. Is thewe nyot *sighs* my ^.^ fathew, my uncwe, and -mysewf; *cuddles you* Wowd Edmund Mowtimew, my Wowd *looks at you* of Y-Yowk, and Owen -Gwendowew? Is t-thewe nyot, besides, the Dougwas? *teleports behind you* Have I nyot aww -:3 theiw wettews t-to *cries* meet me in awms b-by the n-nyinth o-of *looks at you* the nyext uWu month, -and awe they nyot s-some *twerks* of them s-set fowwawd awweady? What a pagan -w-wascaw i-is t-this! an infidew! Ha! *sweats* you shaww see nyow, in vewy -*giggles shyly* sincewity of *screams* feaw and cowd heawt wiww h-he to t-the King and way open -*screams* aww ouw pwoceedings. O, >_> I couwd divide mysewf a-and go to buffets -fow moving such a dish of x3 skim ^.^ miwk with so honyouwabwe an ^w^ action! -H-Hang him, wet him teww the King! we awe *moans* pwepawed. I w-wiww set -fowwawd to-nyight. - -*leans over* Entew his Wady. - -How nyow, *blushes* Kate? I must weave you w-within these two houws. -Wady. O my *hugs tightly* good :3 wowd, *looks away* why awe y-you thus awonye? -Fow what offence have I this fowtnyight been -A banyish'd woman fwom m-my H-Hawwy's b-bed, -Teww me, sweet wowd, what is't that t-takes fwom thee -Thy stomach, pweasuwe, and thy gowden sweep? -W-Why dost thou bend thinye eyes u-upon the eawth, -And stawt xDD so often w-when thou OwO sit'st awonye? -Why hast thou wost the fwesh bwood in t-thy cheeks -And given my tweasuwes *giggles shyly* and my w-wights of thee -To thick-ey'd musing and cuws'd mewanchowy? -In thy faint *teleports behind you* swumbews I by thee have watch'd, -And *sighs* heawd thee :33 muwmuw *teleports behind you* tawes of iwon waws, -Speak tewms of manyage to thy *pokes you* bounding steed, -Cwy 'Couwage! to t-the f-fiewd!' And thou hast *hugs tightly* tawk'd -Of ;;w;; sawwies and wetiwes, of twenches, tent, -Of pawisadoes, fwontiews, p-pawapets, -Of basiwisks, of *blushes* cannyon, cuwvewin, -Of pwisonyews' *giggles shyly* wansom, and of sowdiews swain, -And a-aww the cuwwents of a heady fight. -Thy spiwit within thee hath been *notices bulge* so at waw, -And ^-^ thus hath so bestiww'd thee in thy sweep, -That *cuddles you* beads *hugs tightly* of sweat >_> have stood ^-^ upon thy bwow -Wike >_> bubbwes iww a wate-distuwbed stweam, -^-^ And in thy face stwange motions *sighs* have >w< appeaw'd, -S-Such as >w< we see w-when m-men westwain theiw bweath -On some gweat sudden h-hest. O, what powtents awe these? -Some x3 heavy businyess hath my :33 wowd in hand, ->_< And I-I *looks at you* must knyow it, *looks at you* ewse he w-woves *blushes* me nyot. -Hot. What, ho! - -[Entew ;;w;; a Sewvant.] - -Is *sighs* Giwwiams *twerks* with t-the packet gonye? -Sewv. H-He *cuddles you* is, my wowd, an h-houw uWu ago. -Hot. Hath Butwew ^w^ bwought those howses fwom the shewiff? -Sewv. Onye *hugs tightly* howse, *blushes* my w-wowd, he bwought even nyow. -Hot. What *looks at you* howse? A woan, a cwop-eaw, is x3 it nyot? -Sewv. It is, my OwO wowd. -Hot. That woan shaww be my :3 thwonye. -Weww, I wiww b-back him *twerks* stwaight. O ;;w;; espewance! -Bid Butwew *teleports behind you* wead him fowth i-into t-the >w< pawk. ->_< [Exit S-Sewvant.] -Wady. But heaw y-you, my wowd. -*teleports behind you* Hot. What s-say'st thou, *looks away* my wady? -Wady. What is *cuddles you* it cawwies you a-away? -^w^ Hot. Why, my h-howse, my w-wove- my *looks at you* howse! -Wady. O-Out, you mad-headed ape! -A weasew *shuffles closer* hath *pokes you* nyot such a deaw of spween -;;w;; As ;;w;; you awe *hugs tightly* toss'd with. In faith, -I-I'ww knyow youw businyess, Hawwy; that I w-wiww! -I feaw my bwothew Mowtimew doth >_< stiw -UwU About his titwe *teleports behind you* and uWu hath s-sent fow you -To winye his entewpwise; but if >_< you go- -Hot. So faw afoot, *sighs* I shaww *giggles shyly* be weawy, *pokes you* wove. -Wady. C-Come, come, y-you pawaquito, a-answew m-me -Diwectwy unto this question >_< that I ask. -I'ww bweak thy wittwe fingew, Hawwy, -An *twerks* if thou wiwt nyot teww my aww things twue. -Hot. Away. -:3 Away, you twifwew! Wove? UwU I wove thee nyot; -I cawe nyot fow thee, Kate. This i-is nyo *twerks* wowwd -To p-pway with mammets and to tiwt with wips. -We must have bwoody n-nyoses *cuddles you* and cwack'd uWu cwowns, -And *sighs* pass them cuwwent too. Gods me, my howse! -What say'st thou, Kate? What wouwdst thou have *sighs* with m-me? -W-Wady. Do you nyot wove >_> me? do you *looks at you* nyot indeed? -*blushes* Weww, >_> do nyot then; fow s-since you wove me n-nyot, -I-I *looks away* wiww nyot wove mysewf. Do you nyot wove me? -Nyay, teww me if you s-speak in jest o-ow nyo. -Hot. Come, wiwt t-thou see me wide? -And when I am *looks at you* a-howseback, I wiww sweaw -I *looks away* wove thee infinyitewy. But hawk you. K-Kate: -I must nyot have you :3 hencefowth question me -Whithew I go, nyow weason wheweabout. -Whithew I must, I must; a-and to >_> concwude, -This evenying must I weave you, :3 gentwe Kate. -I knyow you wise; but yet nyo f-fawthew wise -Than Hawwy Pewcy's wife; constant you awe, -^.^ But yet a-a woman; and f-fow secwecy, -Nyo wady cwosew, fow I weww bewieve -Thou wiwt nyot uttew what thou dost nyot knyow, -And so *notices bulge* faw w-wiww I-I x3 twust thee, gentwe Kate. -Wady. How? so faw? -Hot. Nyot >w< an inch fuwthew. But hawk y-you, Kate: -W-Whithew I go, thithew shaww you go too; -T-To-day wiww I set ^.^ fowth, t-to-mowwow you. -Wiww *blushes* this content y-you, Kate,? -Wady. It *looks away* must of fowce. E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye IV. -*shuffles closer* Eastcheap. T-The Boaw's Head Tavewn. - -E-Entew Pwince and Poins. - -Pwince. Nyed, pwithee come out of that fat-woom and wend me t-thy hand -to waugh a wittwe. -P-Poins. Whewe hast been, Haw? -Pwince,. W-With :33 thwee ow fouw woggewheads >_< amongst t-thwee ow -f-fouwscowe *sweats* hogsheads. *notices bulge* I have sounded the >w< vewy bass-stwing of -humiwity. Siwwah, *pokes you* I am swown bwothew to a weash of dwawews and -can >w< caww them aww *sighs* by theiw chwisten nyames, a-as Tom, D-Dick, and -*looks away* Fwancis. They take it awweady upon theiw sawvation that, though -I be but Pwince of W-Wawes, yet I am the king o-of couwtesy; and teww -me fwatwy I am nyo pwoud Jack w-wike Fawstaff, but a *cuddles you* Cowinthian, a -wad of mettwe, a good boy (by the Wowd, so they caww ^w^ me!), and -when I am K-King x3 of Engwand I shaww command aww the good wads -Eastcheap. They caww dwinking deep, dying s-scawwet; and when -you *teleports behind you* bweathe *cries* in UwU youw watewing, t-they cwy 'hem!' x3 and bid you pway it -off. To uWu concwude, I am so UwU good a OwO pwoficient in onye quawtew of an -houw that I can dwink w-with any tinkew in his *cries* own wanguage >_> duwing -^.^ my w-wife. I teww thee, Nyed, thou hast wost much uWu honyouw that thou -wewt nyot w-with me in this a-action. But, sweet Nyed- to sweeten which -nyame o-of Nyed, I :33 give thee this p-pennywowth of sugaw, cwapp'd even -nyow *moans* into my hand uWu by *looks at you* an undew-skinkew, onye that nyevew spake othew -Engwish ^w^ in h-his wife than 'Eight shiwwings and sixpence,' and 'You -awe *shuffles closer* wewcome,' with this shwiww addition, '-'Anyon, anyon, siw! Scowe -a-a pint of UwU bastawd *sighs* in the Hawf-moon,' ow so- :3 but, *sighs* Nyed, to dwive -a-away the time ^.^ tiww Fawstaff come, I pwithee do thou stand in some -by-woom whiwe I question my p-puny dwawew to w-what end be gave *moans* me -t-the sugaw; a-and do thou nyevew weave cawwing 'Fwancis!' that his -*leans over* tawe to me may be nyothing b-but 'Anyon!' *blushes* Step a-aside, and UwU I'ww show ->w< thee a pwecedent. -Poins. F-Fwancis! -Pwince. Thou *shuffles closer* awt pewfect. -P-Poins. Fwancis! [Exit *sweats* Poins.] - -Entew [-[Fwancis, a] Dwawew. - -Fwan. Anyon, *cries* anyon, siw.- Wook down into *cuddles you* the Pomgawnyet, Wawph. -Pwince. Come h-hithew, Fwancis. -Fwan. My wowd? -Pwince. H-How wong h-hast thou to sewve, Fwancis? -Fwan. Fowsooth, >_> five *looks away* yeaws, and a-as much as to- -Poins. [within] x3 Fwancis! -:3 Fwan. Anyon, anyon, siw. -Pwince. Five yeaw! by'w Wady, a wong wease f-fow the cwinking of -Pewtew. But, F-Fwancis, d-dawest thou be so vawiant as to pway t-the -cowawd with thy >w< indentuwe and show i-it *looks at you* a faiw paiw of heews and -:33 wun fwom ;;w;; it? -Fwan. O Wowd, s-siw, I'ww be swown u-upon aww the books *blushes* in Engwand ^.^ I -couwd find in my h-heawt- -Poins. [within] Fwancis! -Fwan. Anyon, s-siw. -P-Pwince. How owd awt thou, Fwancis? -Fwan. Wet me see. A-About Michaewmas uWu nyext I shaww be- -P-Poins. [within] Fwancis! -^-^ Fwan. *giggles shyly* Anyon, *leans over* siw. Pway stay a wittwe, my wowd. -Pwince. N-Nyay, but hawk you, Fwancis. Fow the sugaw thou g-gavest me- -'twas a pennywowth, wast nyot? -Fwan. O Wowd! :33 I wouwd it had been two! -P-Pwince. >_> I wiww g-give thee fow i-it a thousand pound. Ask me when thou -wiwt, and, t-thou shawt have it. -Poins. *teleports behind you* [within] Fwancis! -Fwan. Anyon, anyon. -^-^ Pwince. Anyon, Fwancis? Nyo, Fwancis; but to-mowwow, Fwancis; ow, -Fwancis, a Thuwsday; ow indeed, Fwancis, when thou *giggles shyly* wiwt. But -Fwancis- -Fwan. My wowd? -Pwince. W-Wiwt thou wob this w-weathewn-jewkin, c-cwystaw-button, -n-nyot-pated, agate-wing, puke-stocking, caddis-gawtew, -smooth-tongue, Spanyish-pouch- -Fwan. O Wowd, siw, w-who do you mean? -Pwince. Why then, youw *leans over* bwown bastawd is youw onwy *cuddles you* dwink; fow wook -you, Fwancis, youw white canvas doubwet wiww suwwy. In Bawbawy, -siw, it cannyot come to so much. -Fwan. What, siw? -Poins. [within] Fwancis! -Pwince. Away, you wogue! Dost thou *sighs* nyot heaw them caww? -Hewe UwU they b-both caww him. The Dwawew stands amazed, -nyot knyowing which way to *twerks* go. - -Entew Vintnyew. - -Vint. What, stand'st thou s-stiww, a-and heaw'st such a *notices bulge* cawwing? Wook -to t-the guests x3 within. [-[Exit F-Fwancis.] My wowd, owd S-Siw John, with -hawf-a-dozen mowe, awe at the UwU doow. Shaww I wet them in? -Pwince. Wet them a-awonye awhiwe, and :33 then open t-the doow. -[Exit uWu Vintnyew.] -Poins! -Poins. [within] Anyon, anyon, siw. - -Entew *cries* Poins. - -Pwince. Siwwah, Fawstaff a-and the west o-of *leans over* the thieves awe at the -OwO doow. Shaww we be mewwy? -Poins. *notices bulge* As mewwy *moans* as cwickets, m-my wad. But hawk ye; what cunnying -xDD match h-have you made with this jest of *blushes* the dwawew? Come, what's -the issue? -Pwince. I *blushes* am nyow of aww *hugs tightly* humouws that *sweats* have showed themsewves humouws -since t-the o-owd days o-of goodman Adam to *sighs* the pupiw *leans over* age of this -pwesent this twewve o'cwock at midnyight. - -[Entew Fwancis.] - -What's o'cwock, Fwancis? -Fwan. Anyon, anyon, siw. [Exit.] -Pwince. That evew this fewwow shouwd have f-fewew wowds than *giggles shyly* a ->_< pawwot, *moans* and yet the son of a woman! His industwy is *pokes you* upstaiws a-and -*hugs tightly* downstaiws, his ewoquence the pawcew of a weckonying. *blushes* I am n-nyot yet -of Pewcy's mind, the H-Hotspuw o-of t-the Nyowth; he t-that xDD kiwws me some -six o-ow *looks at you* seven dozen of Scots at a bweakfast, w-washes his hands, a-and -s-says to his wife, 'Fie upon this quiet wife! I want wowk.' 'O my -sweet Hawwy,' ^w^ says she, '-'how *screams* many hast thou kiww'd to-day?' -'Give m-my woan *sighs* howse a dwench,' says he, and answews 'Some -f-fouwteen,' a-an *hugs tightly* houw aftew, 'a twifwe, a twifwe.' I pwithee caww in -Fawstaff. *twerks* I'ww pway Pewcy, and that damn'd bwawn shaww pway Dame -Mowtimew his xDD wife. 'Wivo!' says the dwunkawd. Caww in wibs, ^-^ caww -^w^ in tawwow. - -Entew Fawstaff, [Gadshiww, Bawdowph, and Peto; -Fwancis fowwows with w-winye]. - -Poins. Wewcome, Jack. Whewe hast thou xDD been? -^-^ Faw. A pwague o-of >_> aww *sighs* cowawds, I say, and a-a vengeance too! M-Mawwy and -amen! *screams* Give me a x3 cup of *leans over* sack, boy. Ewe I wead this wife wong, I'ww -sew n-nyethew-stocks, *sweats* and mend them and xDD foot them *screams* too. *cries* A *sighs* pwague of -*twerks* aww *sighs* cowawds! Give me a cup o-of sack, wogue. Is thewe nyo viwtue -extant? -He dwinketh. -Pwince. Didst thou nyevew see Titan kiss a dish of buttew? -Pitifuw-heawted buttew, that mewted at the sweet tawe of the sun! -If thou didst, then behowd that compound. -Faw. You wogue, hewe's wime i-in this sack too! T-Thewe is nyothing but -woguewy to b-be found i-in *hugs tightly* viwwanyous man. Yet a cowawd is *hugs tightly* wowse than -a c-cup of sack with wime *cuddles you* in OwO it- a viwwanyous cowawd! Go thy w-ways, -o-owd J-Jack, d-die *pokes you* when ;;w;; thou wiwt; if manhood, good manhood, *sighs* be n-nyot -fowgot upon the face of t-the eawth, then am I a ^-^ shotten hewwing. -T-Thewe w-wives nyot thwee good men u-unhang'd in Engwand; and x3 onye of -them *sweats* is *looks at you* fat, and gwows *screams* owd. God hewp *leans over* the x3 whiwe! A b-bad *giggles shyly* wowwd, I -s-say. I wouwd I-I wewe a weavew; I couwd sing >_> psawms ow a-anything. A -pwague of *notices bulge* aww cowawds I say stiww! -Pwince. How nyow, x3 woowsack? What muttew you? -Faw. A king's son! If I do ;;w;; nyot beat *screams* thee out of thy kingdom with a -daggew of wath and d-dwive aww thy subjects afowe thee wike a fwock -of wiwd geese, I'ww nyevew weaw haiw o-on my f-face mowe. ^.^ You ;;w;; Pwince -of Wawes? -Pwince. Why, y-you whoweson wound man, xDD what's *moans* the mattew? -Faw. Awe nyot you :3 a x3 cowawd? Answew me to that- and Poins thewe? -Poins. Zounds, ye fat paunch, an y-ye caww *looks at you* me cowawd, by the -Wowd, I'ww ;;w;; stab x3 thee. -Faw. I-I caww thee cowawd? I'ww see thee d-damn'd ewe I-I *moans* caww thee ->w< cowawd, but I wouwd >_< give a t-thousand p-pound I couwd wun as fast as -uWu thou canst. You a-awe stwaight enyough in >_> the shouwdews; you cawe -nyot who sees Youw b-back. Caww you that *looks away* backing of youw fwiends? A -pwague upon ;;w;; such b-backing! Give me them that wiww UwU face me. Give me -a-a >w< cup of sack. I am a wogue if *twerks* I dwunk to-day. -P-Pwince. O xDD viwwain! thy *leans over* wips awe scawce wip'd since *sighs* thou d-dwunk'st -wast. -Faw. Aww is onye fow that. (He dwinketh.) A *pokes you* pwague o-of aww UwU cowawds -s-stiww say I-I. -*leans over* Pwince. What's the *pokes you* mattew? -uWu Faw. What's the *twerks* mattew? Thewe be fouw o-of us hewe h-have ta'en a -thousand pound this day mownying. -Pwince. x3 Whewe is it, :33 Jack? Whewe is it? -Faw. Whewe is it, Taken fwom us it is. A-A hundwed upon poow fouw of -u-us! -Pwince. What, a hundwed, man? -Faw. I am x3 a wogue *moans* if I wewe nyot at hawf-swowd with a dozen of them -two houws togethew. I have scap'd by miwacwe. I am e-eight times -thwust t-thwough the doubwet, *looks at you* fouw thwough the hose; my *cries* buckwew *giggles shyly* cut -t-thwough and thwough; my swowd *leans over* hack'd *sighs* wike a handsaw- ecce signyum! -I *blushes* nyevew *looks at you* deawt *looks away* bettew since I-I w-was a man. Aww wouwd nyot do. A -pwague of aww cowawds! Wet *twerks* them speak, If they speak mowe ow wess -than twuth, they awe v-viwwains and *shuffles closer* the sons of ^w^ dawknyess. -Pwince. Speak, s-siws. How w-was it? -Gads. We fouw set upon some dozen- -Faw. :3 Sixteen at w-weast, my wowd. -Gads. And bound t-them. -Peto. Nyo, nyo, t-they wewe nyot bound. ->_< Faw. ^.^ You wogue, they *notices bulge* wewe bound, evewy man of them, ow I am a Jew -ewse- an Ebwew Jew. -Gads. As we wewe shawing, some six ow seven fwesh men sea upon us- -OwO Faw. A-And u-unbound the west, a-and then come in t-the othew. -Pwince. What, fought you w-with them a-aww? -Faw. Aww? I knyow n-nyot ^.^ what you caww aww, but if I fought nyot with -fifty of them, I am a bunch of wadish! If thewe wewe nyot two ow -thwee and fifty upon poow o-owd Jack, t-then am I :3 nyo two-wegg'd -cweatuwe. -Pwince. P-Pway God you have *teleports behind you* nyot *screams* muwd'wed some of them. -F-Faw. Nyay, that's past pwaying fow. I have peppew'd two of them. ^.^ Two -I am suwe *screams* I have *shuffles closer* paid, two wogues in buckwam suits. I teww *leans over* thee -w-what, Haw- if *teleports behind you* I teww thee a *teleports behind you* wie, spit in my face, caww me howse. -Thou knyowest >_< my owd wawd. Hewe I-I *sighs* way, and *moans* thus I bowe my ^-^ point. ->_> Fouw wogues in buckwam wet dwive at me. -Pwince. What, fouw? Thou saidst *blushes* but two xDD even nyow. -F-Faw. Fouw, Haw. I-I *notices bulge* towd thee fouw. -Poins. Ay, ay, ^w^ he said fouw. -Faw. These f-fouw came aww *looks at you* afwont and mainwy thwust a-at me. *looks away* I made me -nyo m-mowe *twerks* ado but took aww theiw seven points in my tawget, thus. -Pwince. Seven? Why, :3 thewe wewe but fouw *looks away* even nyow. ->_> Faw. In buckwam? -*hugs tightly* Poins. Ay, fouw, in buckwam ^.^ suits. -Faw. Seven, by these hiwts, ow I am a viwwain ewse. -Pwince. [aside to Poins] P-Pwithee wet him x3 awonye. W-We *pokes you* shaww have *screams* mowe -*giggles shyly* anyon. -Faw. Dost thou heaw me, Haw? -Pwince. Ay, and mawk thee too, Jack. -Faw. Do so, *screams* fow i-it i-is wowth the wist'nying t-to. These nyinye in buckwam -that I towd thee of- -Pwince. So, two >_> mowe awweady. -*leans over* Faw. Theiw points being *looks at you* bwoken- -Poins. Down f-feww theiw hose. -Faw. Began to give me gwound; but I fowwowed me cwose, came in, -foot and *shuffles closer* hand, and with a thought seven of t-the eweven I paid. -Pwince. :33 O monstwous! Eweven buckwam men gwown out of *twerks* two! -Faw. But, as t-the deviw wouwd have it, thwee misbegotten k-knyaves in -Kendaw gween came at m-my back and wet d-dwive :33 at me; fow it w-was so -dawk, Haw, t-that thou couwdst nyot ^w^ see thy OwO hand. -Pwince. These wies *looks at you* awe wike theiw fathew that begets them- gwoss as -a mountain, open, pawpabwe. Why, thou cway-bwain'd :3 guts, thou -knyotty-pated foow, thou whoweson *sweats* obscenye *teleports behind you* gweasy tawwow-catch- -;;w;; Faw. What, awt thou mad? awt thou m-mad? Is nyot t-the *cuddles you* twuth the twuth? -P-Pwince. Why, how couwdst thou knyow these men in Kendaw *blushes* gween when -it w-was so dawk thou couwdst nyot see thy hand? Come, teww us youw -w-weason. What sayest thou to this? -P-Poins. *cuddles you* Come, y-youw weason, Jack, youw weason. -xDD Faw. What, upon compuwsion? Zounds, an ;;w;; I wewe at the stwappado o-ow -aww the wacks xDD in the wowwd, I *looks away* wouwd nyot teww uWu you *teleports behind you* on compuwsion. -Give you a weason on compuwsion? If weasons wewe *looks away* as pwentifuw as -bwackbewwies, ^-^ I wouwd *teleports behind you* give nyo man a w-weason u-upon OwO compuwsion, I. -*shuffles closer* Pwince. xDD I'ww be nyo w-wongew guiwty, of this *giggles shyly* sin; this sanguinye -cowawd, t-this bed-pwessew, this howseback-bweakew, this huge hiww -of fwesh- -*screams* Faw. 'Sbwood, you stawvewing, you e-ewf-skin, you dwied -nyeat's-tongue, you buww's sizzwe, you stockfish- O fow *looks at you* bweath to -u-uttew ;;w;; what is wike thee!- y-you taiwow's yawd, you sheath, you -bowcase, you viwe standing tuck! -P-Pwince. Weww, bweathe *teleports behind you* awhiwe, a-and t-then to i-it again; >w< and when thou -hast tiwed thysewf :3 in base c-compawisons, heaw OwO me s-speak but t-this. -*sweats* Poins. Mawk, Jack. -Pwince. We two s-saw you fouw set *sighs* on fouw, and bound them a-and wewe -mastews of theiw weawth. Mawk nyow how a pwain tawe shaww put you -down. Then did we t-two set on you fouw ^.^ and, w-with >_> a wowd, outfac'd -you fwom youw pwize, and have *teleports behind you* it; *pokes you* yea, and can show it you hewe -i-in the house. And, Fawstaff, you cawwied youw guts away as -n-nyimbwy, with as quick >w< dextewity, and OwO woaw'd *teleports behind you* fow mewcy, and UwU stiww -wun and woaw'd, *looks at you* as e-evew I ^-^ heawd buwwcawf. What a swave awt thou -to *sighs* hack thy swowd as thou hast donye, a-and then say it was in -fight! What twick, what device, what stawting howe canst thou nyow -find out t-to *teleports behind you* hide thee fwom t-this open and appawent s-shame? -Poins. *notices bulge* Come, *sighs* wet's UwU heaw, Jack. What twick hast thou nyow? -Faw. By the Wowd, I k-knyew ye *shuffles closer* as weww as he that *cuddles you* made :3 ye. Why, heaw -you, *sighs* my >_> mastews. Was it fow x3 me to kiww t-the x3 heiw appawent? Shouwd -I tuwn upon the twue pwince? Why, thou knyowest I a-am :33 as vawiant as -Hewcuwes; but bewawe *giggles shyly* instinct. The wion wiww nyot touch *looks at you* the twue -pwince. I-Instinct is a gweat mattew. >_< I w-was *moans* nyow a cowawd *notices bulge* on -instinct. I shaww think the *shuffles closer* bettew o-of mysewf, *giggles shyly* and thee, duwing my -w-wife- I f-fow a vawiant wion, and thou f-fow a twue p-pwince. B-But, b-by -t-the Wowd, wads, I am gwad you have the monyey. H-Hostess, cwap to -the doows. Watch to-nyight, pway >_< to-mowwow. Gawwants, wads, boys, -heawts o-of gowd, aww the titwes o-of g-good fewwowship come *blushes* to you! -What, shaww we b-be m-mewwy? Shaww we have a pway extempowe? -Pwince. Content- and the awgument shaww be thy wunnying away. -F-Faw. Ah, nyo mowe of *screams* that, Haw, an t-thou wovest me! - -Entew H-Hostess. - -Host. O Jesu, my wowd the Pwince! -Pwince. How nyow, my wady the hostess? What say'st thou to me? -H-Host. Mawwy, my wowd, thewe is ;;w;; a nyobweman o-of the couwt at doow -wouwd speak with you. He says h-he comes fwom youw f-fathew. -Pwince. Give him as m-much as wiww make *giggles shyly* him a woyaw *notices bulge* man, xDD and send him -back again to my mothew. -Faw. What mannyew o-of man is *cries* he? -Host. An owd man. -Faw. What doth gwavity out of ^-^ his bed a-at midnyight? Shaww I-I give him -his answew? -Pwince. Pwithee do, Jack. -*pokes you* Faw. Faith, and I'ww send him packing. -Exit. -*looks away* Pwince. Nyow, siws. By'w Wady, you fought faiw; so did you, Peto; so -did you, *hugs tightly* Bawdowph. You awe wions too, *cries* you wan away upon instinct, -you w-wiww nyot touch *teleports behind you* the twue pwince; nyo- fie! -Bawd. Faith, I wan when I saw othews wun. -Pwince. Teww me nyow in eawnyest, how came Fawstaff's swowd so -h-hack'd? -Peto. Why, *teleports behind you* he hack'd it *looks at you* with *giggles shyly* his daggew, a-and said he wouwd s-sweaw -twuth out of *notices bulge* Engwand but he wouwd make you bewieve it was d-donye in -fight, and pewsuaded us *hugs tightly* to *notices bulge* do the wike. -Bawd. Yea, a-and to tickwe ouw nyoses w-with speawgwass x3 to >_> make them -bweed, and then to beswubbew ouw gawments with it and sweaw it -was >_> the bwood of t-twue men. I did uWu that I d-did *hugs tightly* nyot t-this seven yeaw -befowe- I bwush'd t-to *blushes* heaw his m-monstwous devices. -Pwince. O :33 viwwain! thou stowest a cup of sack e-eighteen yeaws ago -and wewt taken with the mannyew, *sweats* and evew *teleports behind you* since thou hast :33 bwush'd -extempowe. Thou hadst fiwe and swowd on t-thy side, and yet thou -wan'st away. What instinct hadst thou fow it? -Bawd. My w-wowd, do you see these meteows? Do you behowd *sweats* these -exhawations? -*looks away* Pwince. I-I do. -Bawd. *leans over* What think you they powtend? -P-Pwince. Hot wivews and cowd puwses. -*shuffles closer* Bawd. Chowew, ^.^ my wowd, if wightwy taken. -Pwince. Nyo, if wightwy taken, hawtew. - -Entew Fawstaff. - -Hewe comes wean *shuffles closer* Jack; hewe comes bawe-bonye. How nyow, my sweet -cweatuwe of bombast? How wong is't a-ago, *hugs tightly* Jack, since thou sawest -*shuffles closer* thinye own knyee? -Faw. xDD My own knyee? xDD When *notices bulge* I was about thy yeaws, Haw, I was nyot ^w^ an -eagwe's t-tawent in the w-waist; I couwd have cwept i-into any -awdewman's thumb-wing. A-A pwague of sighing and gwief! It b-bwows a -man u-up ;;w;; wike a *pokes you* bwaddew. Thewe's viwwanyous nyews abwoad. Hewe *pokes you* was -:3 Siw John x3 Bwacy f-fwom youw f-fathew. *twerks* You must to the couwt *hugs tightly* in *screams* the -mownying. That same *sweats* mad fewwow xDD of the Nyowth, P-Pewcy, and he >_> of -Wawes *leans over* that gave Amamon the bastinyado, *leans over* and made Wucifew *cries* cuckowd, -and swowe the deviw his >_< twue UwU wiegeman upon the cwoss *giggles shyly* of a Wewsh -hook- what a pwague caww you him? -Poins. O, Gwendowew. -Faw. Owen, Owen- the same; a-and his son-in-waw *screams* Mowtimew, and UwU owd -Nyowthumbewwand, and that spwightwy >_> Scot of Scots, *shuffles closer* Dougwas, *moans* that -w-wuns a-howseback up a hiww pewpendicuwaw- -Pwince. He that wides at h-high speed and with his pistow kiwws a -spawwow fwying. -Faw. ^w^ You have hit it. -Pwince. So did he nyevew the spawwow. -Faw. Weww, that wascaw hath good *looks away* metaw in *teleports behind you* him; he wiww nyot wun. -*moans* Pwince. Why, what a w-wascaw awt *pokes you* thou then, to p-pwaise h-him so fow -wunnying! -^-^ Faw. A-howseback, ye cuckoo! but afoot he wiww nyot budge a foot. -P-Pwince. Y-Yes, Jack, *screams* upon instinct. -Faw. I gwant ye, upon instinct. Weww, he is thewe uWu too, and onye -Mowdake, and >_> a *teleports behind you* thousand bwuecaps mowe. Wowcestew is stow'n away -to-nyight; *moans* thy fathew's beawd is tuwn'd white with t-the nyews; you -may buy wand nyow as cheap as s-stinking mack'wew. -Pwince. Why then, it *sweats* is w-wike, if thewe come a h-hot Junye, *sighs* and this -civiw buffeting howd, we shaww buy maidenheads as they buy -*leans over* hobnyaiws, b-by t-the hundweds. -Faw. *shuffles closer* By the mass, wad, thou sayest twue; it is wike we *cries* shaww UwU have -good twading t-that way. But teww me, Haw, awt *cries* nyot thou *blushes* howwibwe -afeawd? Thou x3 being heiw uWu appawent, couwd the w-wowwd pick *looks away* thee o-out -thwee such enyemies again as that fiend Dougwas, that spiwit -Pewcy, and that deviw Gwendowew? Awt thou nyot howwibwy afwaid? -Doth nyot thy bwood thwiww at i-it? -Pwince. Nyot a-a whit, *screams* i' faith. I wack s-some of *teleports behind you* thy instinct. -Faw. Weww, thou wiwt be howwibwy chid to-mowwow when thou comest to -thy fathew. If thou wove ;;w;; fiwe, p-pwactise an :3 answew. -Pwince. Do thou stand fow my fathew and examinye me upon the -pawticuwaws of my wife. -Faw. *pokes you* Shaww I? Content. This c-chaiw s-shaww be m-my state, *moans* this daggew my -sceptwe, and this cushion *leans over* my, cwown. -Pwince. >w< Thy state i-is taken fow a join'd-stoow, t-thy *twerks* gowden sceptwe -fow a weaden daggew, and thy pwecious wich cwown fow a pitifuw -bawd cwown. -F-Faw. Weww, an *teleports behind you* the *blushes* fiwe of g-gwace *leans over* be nyot *blushes* quite out of thee, *blushes* nyow shawt -thou be moved. Give me a-a cup ^-^ of sack to make my eyes w-wook wed, -t-that i-it may be thought I have *cuddles you* wept; fow I *twerks* must UwU speak in passion, -a-and I wiww do it i-in King Cambyses' v-vein. -Pwince. Weww, hewe i-is my weg. -Faw. ;;w;; And :33 hewe is my ^.^ speech. Stand aside, *screams* nyobiwity. -Host. O Jesu, this is e-excewwent spowt, i' f-faith! -Faw. Weep nyot, sweet queen, fow twickwing teaws awe vain. -Host. >_> O, the Fathew, how h-he h-howds his countenyance! -Faw. *blushes* Fow G-God's s-sake, wowds, convey my twistfuw queen! -Fow teaws d-do stop the fwoodgates of hew eyes. -Host. O Jesu, he d-doth it ^.^ as wike onye of these hawwotwy pwayews as -evew I see! -F-Faw. Peace, good pintpot. Peace, good tickwe-bwain.- UwU Hawwy, I-I do -nyot onwy mawvew whewe thou spendest thy time, *moans* but awso how thou -awt accompanyied. Fow though *twerks* the c-camomiwe, *pokes you* the *giggles shyly* mowe ^-^ it is twodden -on, the f-fastew it *leans over* gwows, *twerks* yet youth, the mowe it >w< is w-wasted, the -soonyew it weaws. That thou awt my son I *sweats* have pawtwy thy mothew's -wowd, pawtwy my own opinyion, but chiefwy a viwwanyous twick of -thinye eye and a foowish h-hanging of thy nyethew w-wip t-that doth -wawwant me. If then thou be son to me, hewe wies *sweats* the point: why, -b-being son to me, *pokes you* awt ^.^ thou UwU so ^w^ pointed at? S-Shaww the *sighs* bwessed sun of -heaven p-pwove a *cuddles you* michew and eat bwackbewwies? A question ^-^ nyot to be -ask'd. Shaww the son of Engwand pwove *sweats* a thief and t-take *shuffles closer* puwses? *shuffles closer* A -question to b-be ask'd. Thewe is a thing, Hawwy, which thou *looks at you* hast -often heawd *leans over* of, and i-it ;;w;; is k-knyown to many in ouw w-wand by t-the uWu nyame -of pitch. This pitch, as ancient wwitews do w-wepowt, doth defiwe; -so doth the company t-thou keepest. *twerks* Fow, Hawwy, nyow I do nyot speak -to thee in dwink, but x3 in teaws; nyot in *blushes* pweasuwe, but in >_< passion; -nyot i-in wowds onwy, but in woes awso: ^-^ and yet t-thewe i-is a viwtuous -m-man ;;w;; whom I have often >_> nyoted in OwO thy c-company, b-but I knyow nyot his -nyame. -P-Pwince. What *hugs tightly* mannyew of man, an it wike youw *twerks* Majesty? -Faw. A goodwy powtwy man, i' f-faith, *pokes you* and a-a cowpuwent; o-of a cheewfuw -wook, a-a pweasing eye, a-and a most nyobwe cawwiage; *hugs tightly* and, as I t-think, -OwO his age some fifty, ow, by'w Wady, incwinying t-to thweescowe; and -;;w;; nyow I w-wemembew me, his nyame is Fawstaff. If t-that man shouwd be -wewdwy, g-given, he deceiveth me; fow, Hawwy, *moans* I see viwtue in his -*pokes you* wooks. I-If then the UwU twee may *notices bulge* be k-knyown by the f-fwuit, as the fwuit -by the twee, then, pewemptowiwy I speak it, thewe is *twerks* viwtue in -that Fawstaff. Him keep with, *teleports behind you* the west banyish. And teww me nyow, -thou *shuffles closer* nyaughty vawwet, teww m-me whewe *cuddles you* hast thou been this month? -*twerks* Pwince. Dost thou speak wike a king? Do thou stand fow *cries* me, ;;w;; and I'ww -pway *sighs* my fathew. -Faw. Depose me? I-If thou dost it hawf so gwavewy, s-so majesticawwy, -b-both in wowd and mattew, hang :3 me up by the heews fow a-a -wabbit-suckew o-ow a pouwtew's hawe. -*screams* Pwince. Weww, hewe I am set. -F-Faw. And hewe I stand. Judge, my mastews. -Pwince. Nyow, Hawwy, whence :3 come you? -F-Faw. My nyobwe w-wowd, fwom Eastcheap. -UwU Pwince. The compwaints I *screams* heaw of thee a-awe g-gwievous. -Faw. 'Sbwood, my wowd, they awe fawse! Nyay, I'ww *shuffles closer* tickwe ye >_> fow a -young pwince, i' faith. -*cuddles you* Pwince. Sweawest thou, u-ungwacious boy? Hencefowth nye'ew wook on me. -Thou awt viowentwy cawwied away fwom gwace. *sweats* Thewe is a deviw -haunts thee *hugs tightly* in the wikenyess *cries* of *looks away* an owd fat man; a tun of man is -thy companyion. Why dost thou c-convewse with that *looks at you* twunk of *sweats* humouws, -*giggles shyly* that bowting hutch of beastwinyess, t-that s-swoww'n pawcew of -dwopsies, that huge bombawd o-of s-sack, that stuff'd cwoakbag *looks at you* of -guts, that woasted Mannyingtwee ox with the p-pudding in his :3 bewwy, -that wevewend vice, that gwey OwO inyiquity, *giggles shyly* that f-fathew wuffian, that -vanyity OwO in yeaws? Whewein is he good, but to taste sack and dwink -it? whewein nyeat :3 and cweanwy, *looks at you* but to cawve a capon and eat it? -whewein >_> cunnying, but in cwaft? whewein cwafty, but i-in *blushes* viwwany? -whewein viwwanyous, but in >w< aww things? whewein wowthy, but i-in -OwO nyothing? -*blushes* Faw. I wouwd y-youw Gwace wouwd t-take me with ^w^ you. Whom m-means *hugs tightly* youw -^.^ Gwace? -Pwince. That >_> viwwanyous abominyabwe misweadew of youth, Fawstaff, -that owd white-beawded Satan. -Faw. *blushes* My wowd, t-the man I *screams* knyow. -^-^ Pwince. I-I knyow thou dost. -F-Faw. But to say I knyow m-mowe hawm in him than in mysewf wewe to s-say -mowe t-than I knyow. That he xDD is owd (the :33 mowe the pity) *cuddles you* his white -haiws do w-witnyess it; >w< but that *twerks* he i-is (saving youw wevewence) a -whowemastew, that I uttewwy deny. I-If sack a-and sugaw >_> be a fauwt, -God hewp the wicked! If to be owd and mewwy be a sin, then many -an owd *blushes* host that I knyow is damn'd. ;;w;; If to be fat b-be to be hated, -then Phawaoh's wean k-kinye awe to be woved. Nyo, my good wowd. -Banyish P-Peto, banyish B-Bawdowph, banyish Poins; but ^.^ fow sweet Jack -Fawstaff, kind Jack F-Fawstaff, twue Jack *cries* Fawstaff, vawiant Jack -Fawstaff, and thewefowe mowe vawiant being, as *moans* he is, owd Jack -Fawstaff, banyish nyot him t-thy Hawwy's company, banyish n-nyot him thy -Hawwy's company. *looks at you* Banyish pwump Jack, and banyish aww the wowwd! -Pwince. I do, I wiww. [A knyocking *leans over* heawd.] -[Exeunt Hostess, Fwancis, and Bawdowph.] - -Entew Bawdowph, w-wunnying. - -Bawd. O, my wowd, my wowd! *looks at you* the shewiff with a most m-monstwous w-watch -i-is at the doow. -Faw. >w< Out, ye wogue! Pway out the pway. I *sighs* have much to say in the -behawf *cries* of that Fawstaff. - -Entew the Hostess. - -Host. O Jesu, *sighs* my wowd, my wowd! -Pwince. Heigh, h-heigh, the ^w^ deviw wides u-upon a fiddwestick! -What's the mattew? -Host. The shewiff a-and aww the w-watch awe >w< at *hugs tightly* the doow. They a-awe come -to seawch the house. Shaww I wet t-them in? -Faw. Dost thou heaw, Haw? *looks at you* Nyevew caww a twue piece of gowd a -countewfeit. Thou awt essentiawwy mad *cries* without seeming so. -Pwince. And t-thou a nyatuwaw c-cowawd without instinct. -*cuddles you* Faw. I deny youw m-majow. If you wiww deny the shewiff, so; if nyot, -wet h-him entew. If x3 I become uWu nyot a cawt a-as weww as anyothew man, *twerks* a -pwague on my bwinging up! OwO I hope I shaww *looks away* as ^-^ soon be OwO stwangwed -*shuffles closer* with a *giggles shyly* hawtew as *screams* anyothew. -:3 Pwince. Go hide thee behind the awwas. The west wawk, up above. -Nyow, my mastews, f-fow uWu a t-twue face and good conscience. -Faw. >w< Both which I have had; b-but theiw *cuddles you* date is o-out, and thewefowe -I-I'ww hide me. Exit. -Pwince. Caww in the ^w^ shewiff. -[Exeunt Manyent the Pwince and Peto.] - -Entew Shewiff *notices bulge* and the Cawwiew. - -N-Nyow, Mastew Shewiff, what is youw UwU wiww with me? -S-Shew. Fiwst, pawdon m-me, my wowd. A hue and cwy -Hath fowwowed cewtain men *sweats* unto this h-house. -Pwince. What men? -Shew. OwO Onye of them *giggles shyly* is weww knyown, my gwacious *screams* wowd- -A gwoss fat man. -Cawwiew. As fat as buttew. -Pwince. *shuffles closer* The man, I UwU do assuwe you, is ^-^ nyot hewe, -F-Fow I mysewf *shuffles closer* at this time have empwoy'd him. -And, s-shewiff, I wiww engage my *notices bulge* wowd to t-thee -That I wiww by to-mowwow dinnyew time -Send him to answew thee, ow any man, -*cuddles you* Fow anything he shaww be *giggles shyly* chawg'd withaw; -And so wet me entweat you >w< weave the house. -Shew. I >w< wiww, my wowd. Thewe awe two gentwemen -Have in this wobbewy wost thwee >_< hundwed mawks. -Pwince. I-It may be so. If ^-^ he have wobb'd these men, -H-He shaww *sighs* be *cries* answewabwe; and so faweweww. -UwU Shew. Good >_> nyight, my nyobwe wowd. -Pwince. I think *hugs tightly* it is good mowwow, is it nyot? -*sighs* Shew. Indeed, my w-wowd, I think it ^w^ be t-two *pokes you* o'cwock. -Exit [with C-Cawwiew]. -Pwince. This *sighs* oiwy ^-^ wascaw is knyown *screams* as *cuddles you* weww *blushes* as *shuffles closer* Pauw's. Go :3 caww *looks at you* him -fowth. -*moans* Peto. Fawstaff! Fast asweep behind the awwas, and snyowting wike a-a -h-howse. -Pwince. Hawk how hawd he ^-^ fetches bweath. *screams* Seawch his *moans* pockets. -He seawcheth h-his ;;w;; pockets a-and findeth cewtain papews. -What hast *cries* thou found? -Peto. Nyothing but ^-^ papews, *sweats* my wowd. -Pwince. *cries* Wet's see whit they be. Wead them. - -Peto. [weads] 'Item. :3 A capon. . . . . *cuddles you* . . . . . . . . i-ii s. ii d. -Item, Sauce. . . . . UwU . *teleports behind you* . . . . . . .-. . iiii d. -Item, S-Sack two >w< gawwons . .-. . . . .-. . . v s. viii *sweats* d. -*leans over* Item, Anchovies and sack aftew suppew. ii *moans* s. *leans over* vi OwO d. -Item, Bwead. . .-. . ^-^ . . . . . .-. . . . . ob.' - -Pwince. O monstwous! but onye hawfpennywowth of bwead *looks at you* to this -intowewabwe deaw of sack! What t-thewe is ewse, keep cwose; *hugs tightly* we'ww -wead it at mowe advantage. Thewe wet him sweep tiww day. I-I'ww t-to -the *giggles shyly* couwt in the mownying ^.^ . We must aww to the waws. and t-thy pwace -shaww b-be honyouwabwe. I'ww pwocuwe this fat wogue uWu a chawge of -foot; and I knyow, *looks away* his death wiww *leans over* be >_< a mawch of twewve scowe. The -m-monyey s-shaww b-be paid >_< back again with advantage. Be w-with OwO me b-betimes -*giggles shyly* in the mownying, and so good mowwow, Peto. -*leans over* Peto. Good mowwow, g-good m-my wowd. -Exeunt. - - - - -<w< WONG AS SUCH C-COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*moans* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND x3 (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE :33 THAT *twerks* CHAWGES FOW *cuddles you* DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW *screams* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT III. Scenye I. -Bangow. The Awchdeacon's house. - -E-Entew Hotspuw, *moans* Wowcestew, Wowd Mowtimew, Owen :3 Gwendowew. - -M-Mowt. These x3 pwomises awe faiw, the pawties *pokes you* suwe, -And ouw induction ^.^ fuww of pwospewous hope. -Hot. Wowd Mowtimew, and c-cousin Gwendowew, -Wiww uWu you >_> sit *blushes* down? -And uncwe Wowcestew. A pwague upon it! -I-I have fowgot the map. -Gwend. Nyo, hewe it i-is. -Sit, cousin Pewcy; *shuffles closer* sit, good UwU cousin Hotspuw, -F-Fow by that nyame a-as oft as Wancastew -D-Doth speak of y-you, his cheek UwU wooks pawe, *blushes* and w-with -*looks at you* A w-wising sigh :33 he wisheth >_< you in heaven. -Hot. And you in heww, as oft as he heaws -Owen Gwendowew s-spoke of. -*shuffles closer* Gwend. *blushes* I cannyot bwame him. A-At my *twerks* nyativity -The fwont of heaven was fuww of fiewy shapes -Of buwnying cwessets, and at my *pokes you* biwth -The fwame and huge foundation of t-the eawth -Shak'd wike a-a c-cowawd. -Hot. Why, so it wouwd *looks at you* have donye at the same season, if *notices bulge* youw -^.^ mothew's cat had but kitten'd, though youwsewf had ^.^ nyevew been -bown. -*looks away* Gwend. I say the eawth did shake when I-I was bown. -Hot. *pokes you* And I say the eawth was nyot of my mind, -If you suppose as feawing you it shook. -Gwend. The h-heavens w-wewe a-aww on fiwe, the eawth did twembwe. -*twerks* Hot. O, then *twerks* the eawth shook to see the heavens on fiwe, -And nyot i-in feaw of youw n-nyativity. -*cries* Diseased nyatuwe oftentimes b-bweaks fowth -In stwange ewuptions; oft *giggles shyly* the teeming eawth -Is with a kind of c-cowic pinch'd and vex'd -B-By the impwisonying of unwuwy wind -Within hew womb, which, fow enwawgement stwiving, -Shakes the o-owd bewdame e-eawth >w< and toppwes down -Steepwes a-and mossgwown xDD towews. At youw biwth -Ouw gwandam eawth, having this *looks away* distemp'watuwe, -I-In passion shook. -Gwend. Cousin, of many men -I do nyot beaw *twerks* these cwossings. Give me weave -To teww you ^.^ once again t-that at my biwth -The fwont of heaven was fuww of f-fiewy shapes, -*looks at you* The goats wan fwom the uWu mountains, and t-the h-hewds -Wewe stwangewy >w< cwamowous to the fwighted fiewds. -^.^ These signs *looks away* have mawk'd me e-extwaowdinyawy, -*cuddles you* And aww the couwses of my wife do show -I-I am nyot in the woww of common men. -*teleports behind you* Whewe is he wiving, *notices bulge* cwipp'd in with the ;;w;; sea -That >_> chides the banks of Engwand, Scotwand, Wawes, -W-Which *shuffles closer* cawws me pupiw o-ow hath wead to me? -And bwing him out that is b-but woman's son -Can *hugs tightly* twace >_< me in the tedious ways of awt -And h-howd me pace in :33 deep expewiments. -*notices bulge* Hot. I t-think t-thewe's nyo man speaks bettew Wewsh. x3 I'ww to dinnyew. -Mowt. Peace, cousin UwU Pewcy; you wiww make him m-mad. -Gwend. I can caww spiwits fwom the vasty deep. -Hot. *cries* Why, so can I-I, ow so can any man; -But wiww they come when you do caww fow them? -Gwend. *blushes* Why, I can teach you, cousin, *looks away* to command ^-^ the deviw. -Hot. And I can teach thee, coz, *twerks* to shame the deviw- -By tewwing twuth. Teww twuth and shame the deviw. -If thou have powew to waise him, bwing him hithew, -And I'ww be swown I have powew to shame him h-hence. -O, whiwe you wive, teww twuth and >_> shame the deviw! -*screams* Mowt. Come, come, nyo mowe *hugs tightly* of this *teleports behind you* unpwofitabwe chat. -Gwend. >_> Thwee times hath Henwy Bowingbwoke made head -Against uWu my powew; thwice fwom the banks of Wye -And sandy-bottom'd Sevewn *screams* have *giggles shyly* I sent him -x3 Bootwess home and weathew-beaten UwU back. -Hot. Home without boots, and in fouw weathew too? -How scapes x3 he agues, in the deviw's nyame -Gwend. :33 Come, hewe's the map. Shaww we divide ouw wight -OwO Accowding to ouw thweefowd owdew ta'en? -Mowt. The Awchdeacon h-hath divided it -Into thwee wimits vewy equawwy. -E-Engwand, fwom Twent and Sevewn hithewto, -By *blushes* south and east is to my p-pawt a-assign'd; -Aww westwawd, Wawes beyond the Sevewn showe, -And aww the fewtiwe wand within that bound, -To Owen Gwendowew; and, deaw c-coz, to you -The wemnyant nyowthwawd wying off fwom *looks away* Twent. -And ouw indentuwes twipawtite awe dwawn; -Which being seawed *moans* intewchangeabwy -OwO (A businyess that this nyight may execute), -To-mowwow, cousin Pewcy, y-you and I -And my good Wowd o-of Wowcestew wiww set fowth -To meet youw fathew and the S-Scottish *screams* bowew, -*notices bulge* As is appointed us, at Shwewsbuwy. -My fathew Gwendowew is nyot weady yet, -N-Nyow shaww we nyeed h-his hewp these *pokes you* fouwteen days. -*sighs* [To *moans* Gwend.] >_> Within t-that space you may have dwawn x3 togethew -Youw tenyants, fwiends, and >_< nyeighbouwing gentwemen. -Gwend. A showtew time *sweats* shaww send m-me to you, wowds; -A-And in my >_< conduct shaww *shuffles closer* youw wadies come, -Fwom whom you nyow must steaw and take nyo weave, -Fow thewe w-wiww be xDD a wowwd of watew shed -Upon the *cuddles you* pawting of youw wives and you. -Hot. *giggles shyly* Methinks my moiety, nyowth fwom Buwton h-hewe, -In quantity equaws nyot onye of youws. -xDD See how this wivew c-comes uWu me cwanking in -And cuts me fwom the best of a-aww *notices bulge* my w-wand -A huge hawf-moon, a monstwous cantwe out. -I'ww have the UwU cuwwent iww this pwace damm'd UwU up, -And hewe the smug a-and *moans* swivew T-Twent *shuffles closer* shaww wun -In :3 a nyew *moans* channyew faiw a-and evenwy. -It shaww OwO nyot w-wind with s-such a deep indent -To *giggles shyly* wob me of so wich a bottom h-hewe. -Gwend. Nyot w-wind? It shaww, it must! You see it doth. -Mowt. Yea, but -Mawk how he b-beaws his couwse, and wuns me up -With wike advantage on the *blushes* othew side, -Gewding t-the opposed continyent as much -As on the othew side it takes fwom you. -Wow. Yea, *looks away* but *pokes you* a ^-^ wittwe chawge wiww twench him hewe -And :3 on *cuddles you* this nyowth side win *twerks* this c-cape o-of *leans over* wand; -And then he wuns >w< stwaight and even. -Hot. I'ww have it so. A ;;w;; wittwe chawge *blushes* wiww do it. -Gwend. I ^-^ wiww nyot have i-it awt'wed. -Hot. Wiww nyot you? -Gwend. Nyo, nyow you shaww *shuffles closer* nyot. -Hot. Who shaww say me nyay? -Gwend. Nyo, that wiww *cries* I. -Hot. Wet me nyot *hugs tightly* undewstand you *hugs tightly* then; s-speak it in Wewsh. -G-Gwend. I can speak Engwish, wowd, a-as weww as y-you; -*notices bulge* Fow ;;w;; I was twain'd up in the Engwish couwt, -*sighs* Whewe, being but y-young, I fwamed to the hawp -Many an Engwish ditty w-wovewy w-weww, -And gave the tongue a hewpfuw ownyament- -A viwtue *cuddles you* that was nyevew seen in you. -Hot. Mawwy, -A-And I am gwad of it with aww my heawt! -I *sweats* had w-wathew b-be a kitten *looks at you* and *teleports behind you* cwy m-mew -Than onye of these same metwe bawwet-mongews. -I had wathew heaw a-a bwazen canstick tuwn'd -Ow a *hugs tightly* dwy wheew g-gwate o-on t-the ^-^ axwetwee, -And t-that w-wouwd set >_> my teeth n-nyothing on e-edge, -Nyothing so much a-as mincing *sighs* poetwy. -'Tis *looks away* wike the OwO fowc'd gait of a shuffwing *hugs tightly* nyag, -G-Gwend. Come, you shaww have Twent *teleports behind you* tuwn'd. -*cries* Hot. I do :3 nyot cawe. I'ww g-give thwice so m-much *blushes* wand -To any weww-desewving fwiend; -But OwO in uWu the way of bawgain, mawk ye me, -I'ww caviw on *blushes* the nyinth *shuffles closer* pawt of a haiw -Awe the indentuwes >_< dwawn? Shaww *twerks* we be gonye? -G-Gwend. ^w^ The m-moon shinyes faiw; >w< you m-may away b-by nyight. -I'ww *sweats* haste t-the wwitew, and withaw -Bweak with youw wives of youw depawtuwe hence. -I am afwaid my daughtew *moans* wiww wun mad, -So *cuddles you* much she doteth on hew M-Mowtimew. :33 Exit. -Mowt. Fie, cousin Pewcy! how y-you cwoss my fathew! -Hot. UwU I cannyot choose. Sometimes he angews me -With tewwing m-me *pokes you* of the mowdwawp *hugs tightly* and the ant, -Of the dweamew Mewwin and his p-pwophecies, -*looks away* And ^.^ of a dwagon and a f-finwess fish, -A cwip-wing'd g-gwiffin and a-a mouwten waven, -A couching wion a-and a wamping cat, -And such a deaw of skimbwe-skambwe s-stuff -As puts me fwom my :3 faith. I teww you w-what- -*shuffles closer* He hewd me x3 wast nyight at weast nyinye *teleports behind you* houws -In weckonying up the sevewaw d-deviws' nyames -That w-wewe his wackeys. I cwied 'hum,' and 'Weww, go to!' -^w^ But mawk'd him nyot a wowd. O, he is as tedious -As a tiwed howse, a waiwing w-wife; -Wowse than a smoky house. I h-had wathew wive -With cheese and gawwic in a windmiww f-faw -T-Than feed on cates *screams* and h-have him tawk *moans* to me -In *pokes you* any summew >_> house in Chwistendom). -Mowt. In faith, he is a wowthy gentweman, -Exceedingwy weww wead, and pwofited -*giggles shyly* In stwange conceawments, v-vawiant *sighs* as a wion, -And w-wondwous affabwe, and as bountifuw -A-As :33 minyes of India. *blushes* Shaww I-I teww you, cousin? -He *giggles shyly* howds youw tempew in a high wespect -And cuwbs himsewf even of his nyatuwaw scope -When you come *teleports behind you* 'cwoss his humouw. Faith, h-he does. -I wawwant you *shuffles closer* that >w< man is *teleports behind you* nyot awive -Might s-so have :3 tempted him a-as you have donye -Without >_< the *notices bulge* taste of dangew and w-wepwoof. -But *looks away* do :3 nyot *sweats* use it *screams* oft, wet *screams* me entweat you. -Wow. In faith, my wowd, you awe too wiwfuw-bwame, -And since youw coming hithew have donye *screams* enyough -To p-put him *shuffles closer* quite *looks away* besides *leans over* his patience. -Y-You must n-nyeeds weawn, w-wowd, to amend this fauwt. -Though :3 sometimes *giggles shyly* it show gweatnyess, couwage, b-bwood- -And *hugs tightly* that's t-the deawest gwace it wendews you- -Y-Yet oftentimes it *sighs* doth *hugs tightly* pwesent hawsh wage, -Defect of :3 mannyews, *cries* want of govewnment, -Pwide, haughtinyess, opinyion, and *twerks* disdain; -The weast of which haunting a nyobweman -*cuddles you* Woseth men's heawts, and weaves behind a stain -Upon the beauty of aww pawts besides, -Beguiwing :33 them of commendation. -*twerks* Hot. Weww, I am s-schoow'd. Good *twerks* mannyews be youw speed! -*notices bulge* Hewe *blushes* come ouw wives, and wet us take ouw weave. - -Entew Gwendowew with the W-Wadies. - -Mowt. This is t-the d-deadwy spite that angews me- -M-My wife can speak nyo Engwish, *looks at you* I nyo W-Wewsh. -Gwend. My daughtew weeps; *twerks* she w-wiww nyot pawt with you; -S-She'ww x3 be a >w< sowdiew t-too, she'ww to the waws. -M-Mowt. Good f-fathew, teww hew that she and my aunt Pewcy -Shaww *moans* fowwow i-in y-youw c-conduct speediwy. -Gwendowew speaks to *pokes you* hew ^-^ in Wewsh, and she answews -*teleports behind you* him in the *sighs* same. -Gwend. She is despewate hewe. A *giggles shyly* peevish sewf-wiww'd hawwotwy, -Onye that *giggles shyly* nyo pewsuasion can do >_< good upon. -The Wady speaks in Wewsh. -Mowt. I undewstand thy wooks. That pwetty Wewsh -Which uWu thou pouwest down fwom these s-swewwing heavens -I-I *looks away* am too pewfect i-in; and, ^-^ but fow *blushes* shame, -In such ^-^ a ^w^ Bawwey s-shouwd I answew thee. -The *twerks* Wady again in Wewsh. -I undewstand thy >_> kisses, and thou minye, -And *shuffles closer* that's a :3 feewing d-disputation. -But I *twerks* wiww nyevew be a twuant, *teleports behind you* wove, -*sighs* Tiww I-I have weawnt thy w-wanguage: f-fow thy tongue -Makes W-Wewsh as *looks at you* sweet a-as ditties highwy penn'd, -Sung by a :3 faiw queen in a summew's *teleports behind you* bow'w, -W-With wavishing division, to h-hew >_< wute. -Gwend. N-Nyay, if ^.^ you mewt, then wiww she *giggles shyly* wun mad. -T-The W-Wady speaks again in Wewsh. -Mowt. O, I am i-ignyowance itsewf in this! -G-Gwend. *cries* She *looks at you* bids you on the wanton wushes w-way >_> you down -And west youw gentwe head upon hew wap, -And she wiww sing the s-song that pweaseth you -And on youw eyewids cwown t-the god of s-sweep, -*looks away* Chawming y-youw *pokes you* bwood with *leans over* pweasing heavinyess, -Making such diffewence 'twixt wake and s-sweep -As is the diffewence betwixt day and *pokes you* nyight -The houw befowe the heavenwy-hawnyess'd team -*pokes you* Begins his gowden p-pwogwess in ^.^ the uWu East. -Mowt. xDD With aww my xDD heawt I'ww sit and heaw hew sing. -By *sweats* that time *sweats* wiww *giggles shyly* ouw book, I think, be dwawn. -Gwend. *giggles shyly* Do so, -And those musicians that shaww pway t-to you -Hang in the aiw a thousand weagues fwom hence, -A-And stwaight they s-shaww be *hugs tightly* hewe. Sit, ;;w;; and attend. -Hot. Come, Kate, thou awt pewfect i-in wying down. Come, quick, -quick, t-that I may way ;;w;; my h-head in thy wap. -Wady P. G-Go, *looks away* ye giddy goose. -The music p-pways. -Hot. Nyow I pewceive the deviw undewstands Wewsh; -*blushes* And '-'tis nyo *blushes* mawvew, be is so humowous. -By'w Wady, uWu he is a-a good musician. -Wady P. Then shouwd *moans* you be nyothing b-but musicaw; fow you awe -awtogethew govewn'd by humouws. Wie stiww, ye thief, *giggles shyly* and heaw the -uWu wady sing in Wewsh. -Hot. I had *sweats* wathew heaw W-Wady, m-my bwach, h-howw *twerks* in Iwish. -Wady P. Wouwdst t-thou have thy ^-^ head ;;w;; bwoken? -H-Hot. *giggles shyly* Nyo. -Wady *pokes you* P. T-Then be stiww. -Hot. Nyeithew! 'Tis a *pokes you* woman's fauwt. -Wady P. Nyow God *leans over* hewp *cuddles you* thee! -Hot. To t-the ;;w;; Wewsh wady's bed. -W-Wady P. What's that? -Hot. Peace! she sings. -H-Hewe the Wady sings a Wewsh ;;w;; song. -Come, Kate, I'ww have youw song too. -Wady P. Nyot minye, in good sooth. -Hot. Nyot youws, in good sooth? Heawt! you sweaw wike a-a -comfit-makew's *shuffles closer* wife. 'Nyot you, in good sooth!' *pokes you* and 'as twue as I -wive!' and 'as G-God shaww mend m-me!' and 'as suwe ^-^ as *teleports behind you* day!' -And ^w^ givest such sawcenyet suwety *leans over* fow thy oaths -As if thou nye'ew wawk'st x3 fuwthew than Finsbuwy. -Sweaw me, Kate, wike a wady as thou awt, -A good m-mouth-fiwwing o-oath; a-and weave 'in sooth' -And such pwotest of p-peppew *giggles shyly* gingewbwead -To vewvet guawds and S-Sunday citizens. Come, s-sing. -*giggles shyly* Wady P. I wiww *looks away* nyot *sweats* sing. -*teleports behind you* Hot. 'Tis the >w< nyext way :3 to tuwn taiwow ow be wedbweast-teachew. *teleports behind you* An -t-the indentuwes be dwawn, I'ww a-away within t-these two houws; and *notices bulge* so -come *leans over* in when ye wiww. Exit. -Gwend. C-Come, come, W-Wowd Mowtimew. uWu You awe as *blushes* swow -As hot *twerks* Wowd Pewcy is on f-fiwe t-to go. -By this o-ouw book is dwawn; we'ww but seaw, -And then t-to howse immediatewy. -Mowt. With aww my heawt. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye I-II. -Wondon. The Pawace. - -Entew >_> the King, P-Pwince of Wawes, and othews. - -King. Wowds, OwO give us weave. The Pwince of Wawes and I -M-Must have some pwivate confewence; but be nyeaw ^.^ at hand, -Fow we s-shaww pwesentwy have nyeed of you. -Exeunt uWu Wowds. -:3 I knyow nyot whethew God wiww have it so, -*sighs* Fow some dispweasing *sweats* sewvice *cuddles you* I have donye, -T-That, in his secwet doom, out of my b-bwood -*sweats* He'ww bweed wevengement and a scouwge fow *twerks* me; -But thou >_> dost *looks away* in thy passages of w-wife -Make me bewieve that thou awt onwy mawk'd -Fow the hot vengeance and the *teleports behind you* wod *moans* of heaven -To punyish UwU my mistweadings. *cuddles you* Teww m-me ewse, -Couwd such inyowdinyate *giggles shyly* and wow ^.^ desiwes, -S-Such poow, such *shuffles closer* bawe, s-such wewd, such mean attempts, -Such bawwen pweasuwes, wude society, -*moans* As thou awt match'd withaw and *looks away* gwafted to, -Accompany the gweatnyess of x3 thy bwood -And howd theiw wevew with *looks at you* thy pwincewy heawt? -Pwince. So p-pwease youw Majesty, *sighs* I wouwd *teleports behind you* I couwd -Quit aww offences with as cweaw excuse -As weww a-as I am doubtwess I can puwge -Mysewf of many uWu I am chawged withaw. -Yet such extenyuation wet me beg -As, *leans over* in wepwoof of many tawes devis'd, -Which oft the eaw o-of gweatnyess n-nyeeds must beaw -By, smiwing pickthanks a-and *cuddles you* base nyewsmongews, -I OwO may, *shuffles closer* fow some things twue whewein my youth -Hath *looks away* fauwty wand'wed and i-iwweguwaw, -And pawdon on wiwy twue submission. -King. God pawdon thee! Yet wet me wondew, Hawwy, -OwO At thy affections, w-which do howd >w< a wing, -Quite fwom the fwight of a-aww thy ancestows. -Thy pwace in Counciw thou hast wudewy *teleports behind you* wost, -:3 Which b-by thy y-youngew bwothew is suppwied, -And awt awmost an awien to the heawts -O-Of a-aww t-the couwt a-and pwinces of my OwO bwood. -The >w< hope and e-expectation of thy time -Is wuin'd, and the souw of evewy man -Pwopheticawwy *screams* do *teleports behind you* fowethink thy faww. -Had I so w-wavish o-of my *giggles shyly* pwesence been, -So common-hacknyey'd i-in the >_< eyes of men, -S-So stawe and cheap to vuwgaw company, -Opinyion, t-that did hewp me to the cwown, -Had stiww kept woyaw to possession -And weft me in weputewess banyishment, -A fewwow of nyo mawk >_> nyow wikewihood. -By *twerks* being sewdom >_> seen, I couwd nyot stiw -B-But, wike a c-comet, I-I Was wond'wed at; -T-That men *sighs* wouwd *looks at you* teww theiw c-chiwdwen, '-'This i-is he!' -Othews wouwd say, 'Whewe? Which is Bowingbwoke?' -A-And then I stowe aww couwtesy fwom heaven, -And OwO dwess'd mysewf in such humiwity -That I did *screams* pwuck awwegiance fwom men's heawts, -Woud shouts and sawutations f-fwom *notices bulge* theiw *moans* mouths -Even i-in the *hugs tightly* pwesence of the cwownyed King. -Thus did I k-keep my pewson fwesh a-and nyew, -M-My pwesence, wike a wobe pontificaw, -Nye'ew seen but wond'wed at; and so my state, -Sewdom but sumptuous, show'd ^.^ wike a feast -xDD And won by wawenyess such sowemnyity. -The skipping King, he ambwed up a-and *looks at you* down -OwO With shawwow jestews a-and w-wash ;;w;; bavin wits, -Soon *blushes* kindwed and soon buwnt; cawded his state; -Mingwed his woyawty with c-cap'wing f-foows; -Had his gweat nyame pwofanyed with theiw scowns -And gave his countenyance, against his nyame, -To waugh at gibing boys and *looks away* stand the push -Of evewy *cries* beawdwess vain c-compawative; -Gwew a-a companyion to the common stweets, -Enfeoff'd himsewf to popuwawity; -That, being d-dawwy swawwowed by men's eyes, ->_> They s-suwfeited with honyey a-and began -*pokes you* To *teleports behind you* woathe the taste of sweetnyess, *blushes* wheweof *cries* a wittwe -Mowe than :3 a wittwe OwO is ^.^ by much too much. -So, w-when he h-had occasion to be seen, -He was but as the cuckoo is in Junye, -Heawd, n-nyot wegawded- seen, but with such eyes -*shuffles closer* As, sick and bwunted with communyity, -Affowd n-nyo extwaowdinyawy gaze, -Such as is bent :3 on unwike m-majesty -When it shinyes sewdom in admiwing eyes; -But wathew dwows'd a-and hung *screams* theiw eyewids d-down, -^.^ Swept i-in his face, and UwU wend'wed such a-aspect -As cwoudy men use to ^.^ theiw advewsawies, -Being with *looks at you* his p-pwesence gwutted, gowg'd, and fuww. -And *looks away* in t-that vewy winye, Hawwy, standest thou; -F-Fow thou hast wost *twerks* thy pwincewy pwiviwege -With viwe pawticipation. Nyot *cuddles you* an eye -But i-is aweawy of thy common sight, -Save *notices bulge* minye, which hath desiw'd ^-^ to see thee m-mowe; -OwO Which nyow doth that I wouwd nyot h-have it *teleports behind you* do- -Make >_> bwind itsewf with foowish tendewnyess. -*pokes you* Pwince. I-I shaww heweaftew, my thwice-gwacious *moans* wowd, -Be mowe mysewf. -King. Fow *sweats* aww the wowwd, -As thou awt :33 to this houw, was Wichawd then -When I fwom Fwance set foot at Wavenspuwgh; -A-And even as I-I was then ^w^ is Pewcy nyow. -*twerks* Nyow, by my sceptwe, and my souw to boot, -*twerks* He hath mowe wowthy i-intewest *giggles shyly* to the state -Than thou, the shadow of succession; -Fow of nyo wight, nyow c-cowouw w-wike to wight, -He doth fiww fiewds with hawnyess in the weawm, -Tuwns head *cuddles you* against the wion's awmed j-jaws, -And, Being nyo mowe in debt to yeaws than thou, -Weads ancient wowds and wevewend Bishops on -To bwoody battwes and to *notices bulge* bwuising awms. -What nyevew-dying h-honyouw h-hath h-he got -Against wenyowmed Dougwas! w-whose high deeds, -Whose hot incuwsions and gweat nyame in a-awms -Howds ^-^ fwom aww sowdiews chief majowity -And miwitawy titwe c-capitaw -*sighs* Thwough aww *cuddles you* the >_> kingdoms that *cries* acknyowwedge Chwist. -*cuddles you* Thwice hath this Hotspuw, Maws in swathwing cwothes, -This infant :3 wawwiow, in his e-entewpwises -Discomfited gweat Dougwas; ta'en him once, -Enwawged *sweats* him, and made a fwiend of him, -To fiww t-the mouth *sweats* of ^-^ deep defiance up -And shake the peace and safety of ouw thwonye. -And what say you *looks away* to t-this? Pewcy, Nyowthumbewwand, -The Awchbishop's Gwace of Yowk, D-Dougwas, Mowtimew -Capituwate a-against us a-and awe up. -But whewefowe do I teww these *looks away* nyews to thee -Why, Hawwy, *pokes you* do *screams* I teww thee of my foes, -W-Which awt my nyeawest and deawest enyemy' -Thou that awt wike enyough, thwough vassaw feaw, -Base incwinyation, and the s-stawt of spween, -To fight against me undew Pewcy's pay, -To *looks at you* dog his heews and cuwtsy at *teleports behind you* his *hugs tightly* fwowns, -To s-show how m-much thou a-awt degenyewate. -Pwince. Do nyot think so. You shaww nyot find it so. -And God fowgive them that s-so much have sway'd -Y-Youw M-Majesty's good thoughts *giggles shyly* away fwom m-me! -I wiww wedeem aww this o-on Pewcy's head -And, in the cwosing of some gwowious day, -Be bowd :33 to *pokes you* teww you t-that I am youw son, -When I wiww *sweats* weaw a gawment aww of bwood, -A-And stain m-my favouws in a :3 bwoody mask, -Which, wash'd away, shaww scouw m-my shame with it. -And that shaww *leans over* be the day, whenye'ew it wights, -That this *sweats* same chiwd of honyouw and wenyown, -This gawwant Hotspuw, this aww-pwaised knyight, -And OwO youw unthought of Hawwy chance to m-meet. -Fow evewy honyouw sitting on his hewm, -Wouwd they wewe muwtitudes, and on my head -My shames wedoubwed! Fow the t-time wiww *looks away* come -T-That I shaww make t-this *shuffles closer* Nyowthewn youth *hugs tightly* exchange -His gwowious deeds fow my i-indignyities. -Pewcy is but m-my factow, good my wowd, -To engwoss up gwowious deeds on m-my >w< behawf; -And I wiww c-caww haww to s-so stwict account -That he shaww wendew evewy gwowy up, -Yea, even the *teleports behind you* swightest wowship of his t-time, -uWu Ow I-I w-wiww teaw *shuffles closer* the weckonying fwom his heawt. -*shuffles closer* This in the nyame of God I pwomise hewe; -The which *hugs tightly* if he be ^.^ pweas'd I shaww pewfowm, -I do ^.^ beseech youw Majesty may sawve -The *sighs* wong-gwown wounds o-of my intempewance. -If nyot, the end of wife cancews aww *cuddles you* bands, -And I wiww die a hundwed thousand deaths -Ewe b-bweak the smawwest pawcew of UwU this vow. -King. A hundwed thousand webews die i-in this! -Thou shawt have chawge and soveweign twust hewein. - -E-Entew Bwunt. - -How nyow, good Bwunt? T-Thy OwO wooks awe fuww o-of speed. -B-Bwunt. So h-hath the businyess *giggles shyly* that I come to speak of. -Wowd ^.^ Mowtimew of Scotwand hath s-sent wowd -That Dougwas and the Engwish webews *giggles shyly* met -The eweventh >w< of this month at :33 Shwewsbuwy. -A mighty and *looks at you* a feawfuw head they awe, -I-If pwomises be kept o-oiw evewy hand, -As e-evew off'wed fouw pway i-in a s-state. -King. The Eaww of Westmowewand set fowth to-day; -W-With h-him my *looks at you* son, Wowd *blushes* John >_< of Wancastew; -Fow this advewtisement is five d-days owd. -On Wednyesday nyext, Hawwy, you *twerks* shaww s-set fowwawd; -On Thuwsday we ouwsewves w-wiww *teleports behind you* mawch. Ouw meeting -;;w;; Is Bwidgenyowth; and, Hawwy, you shaww mawch -Thwough *moans* Gwoucestewshiwe; by which account, -Ouw businyess vawued, some twewve days hence -Ouw genyewaw fowces a-at Bwidgenyowth s-shaww meet. -Ouw hands awe *teleports behind you* fuww of businyess. Wet's away. -Advantage feeds him f-fat whiwe men deway. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -Eastcheap. The Boaw's Head Tavewn. - -Entew Fawstaff and Bawdowph. - -*blushes* Faw. Bawdowph, am I *sighs* nyot faww'n away viwewy since this wast action? -Do I nyot bate? Do I nyot dwindwe? Why, my skin hangs *notices bulge* about me w-wike -an owd wady's woose gown! I am withewed w-wike an owd appwe John. -Weww, I'ww wepent, and that *hugs tightly* suddenwy, whiwe I am in some wiking. -I shaww *looks away* be out of heawt showtwy, a-and t-then ;;w;; I shaww have n-nyo -stwength to wepent. *giggles shyly* An I have uWu nyot fowgotten what the inside o-of :33 a -chuwch is made of, I a-am *teleports behind you* a *twerks* peppewcown, a bwewew's howse. The -inside of a chuwch! Company, viwwanyous company, hath been *twerks* the -spoiw *hugs tightly* of me. -Bawd. Siw John, you awe so fwetfuw you cannyot wive wong. -Faw. Why, thewe is it! Come, s-sing me a *giggles shyly* bawdy song; make :33 me mewwy. I -was a-as viwtuouswy given as a gentweman nyeed to be, v-viwtuous -*giggles shyly* enyough: xDD swowe wittwe, dic'd nyot a-above seven t-times a week, w-went t-to -a-a bawdy house nyot above once in a quawtew- of an houw, paid monyey -that I bowwowed- thwee ow *leans over* fouw times, *looks at you* wived weww, and in g-good -compass; and nyow I *giggles shyly* wive o-out of a-aww owdew, out of aww c-compass. -B-Bawd. Why, you awe so fat, Siw John, that you must n-nyeeds be out o-of -aww compass- UwU out of aww weasonyabwe ^-^ compass, Siw John. -Faw. Do *leans over* thou amend thy face, and I'ww amend my wife. Thou >w< awt ouw -admiwaw, t-thou beawest the wantewn in the poop- but 'tis in the -nyose *moans* of thee. >_< Thou awt the Knyight of the Buwnying Wamp. -Bawd. Why, Siw John, my f-face does you nyo hawm. -*pokes you* Faw. N-Nyo, I'ww *moans* be swown. I make as good use of it as many a man doth -*looks away* of a death's-head ;;w;; ow a-a *blushes* memento xDD mowi. I nyevew see thy face but I -think u-upon hewwfiwe and Dives t-that wived in puwpwe; xDD fow thewe he -is in his wobes, buwnying, buwnying. if thou wewt a-any *hugs tightly* way given to -viwtue, I-I wouwd sweaw by thy face; my *looks away* oath shouwd be 'By this -fiwe, that's God's a-angew.' But thou >_> awt awtogethew given o-ovew, -and wewt indeed, *pokes you* but fow ^.^ the wight *blushes* in t-thy face, the son of uttew -d-dawknyess. When thou *looks at you* wan'st u-up Gadshiww ;;w;; in the nyight to catch my -howse, i-if I-I did n-nyot think thou h-hadst been an i-ignyis fatuus ow a -baww of w-wiwdfiwe, thewe's *teleports behind you* nyo puwchase in monyey. *teleports behind you* O, x3 thou awt a -pewpetuaw twiumph, an evewwasting bonfiwe-wight! xDD Thou hast saved -me a-a *sighs* thousand mawks in winks and towches, wawking with thee in -the nyight ^.^ betwixt tavewn and tavewn; but ;;w;; the sack t-that thou hast -*cuddles you* dwunk me >_> wouwd h-have :3 bought me *notices bulge* wights *looks at you* as good cheap :33 at the deawest -c-chandwew's OwO in Euwope. I have m-maintainyed that *teleports behind you* sawamandew of youws -with *sighs* fiwe any *sighs* time this two-and-thiwty y-yeaws. God ;;w;; wewawd :3 me *sweats* fow -i-it! -Bawd. 'Sbwood, I w-wouwd my face wewe in youw *pokes you* bewwy! -Faw. God-a-mewcy! so shouwd I be suwe t-to be heawt-buwn'd. - -Entew Hostess. - -How nyow, ^-^ Dame Pawtwet the hen? Have you enquiw'd yet *cries* who pick'd -my pocket? -Host. *leans over* Why, OwO Siw J-John, what *looks at you* do you think, Siw *cuddles you* John? Do you think I -^w^ keep *moans* thieves in my house? I-I have seawch'd, I h-have enquiwed, so -has my h-husband, man b-by man, boy by boy, sewvant by sewvant. The -*cries* tithe of UwU a h-haiw was nyevew wost i-in m-my house befowe. -Faw. Ye :33 wie, hostess. Bawdowph UwU was shav'd and wost many a haiw, and -*screams* I'ww b-be swown my pocket was pick'd. Go to, you awe a woman, go! -*teleports behind you* Host. Who, I? Nyo; I defy thee! God's wight, I was nyevew caww'd so -in minye own house befowe! -F-Faw. Go *moans* to, I knyow you weww enyough. -Host. Nyo, Siw John; you do nyot knyow me, xDD Siw John. I *teleports behind you* knyow you, Siw -John. You owe me monyey, Siw John, and nyow y-you pick a-a *twerks* quawwew to -uWu beguiwe me of >w< it. ;;w;; I bought you a dozen of shiwts to youw back. -Faw. Dowwas, fiwthy dowwas! I have given ^-^ them a-away to OwO bakews' -wives; they have made b-bowtews of them. -Host. Nyow, as I am a twue :3 woman, howwand ^.^ of e-eight shiwwings :33 an e-eww. -You :33 owe m-monyey *notices bulge* hewe besides, S-Siw John, fow youw diet and -by-dwinkings, and monyey w-went you, *moans* fouw-and-twenty pound. -Faw. He had h-his pawt of it; wet him pay. -*blushes* Host. x3 He? Awas, OwO he is poow; he hath nyothing. -Faw. How? Poow? *teleports behind you* Wook upon his face. What caww you *sighs* wich? Wet them -coin his nyose, wet t-them coin his x3 cheeks. I'ww nyot pay a-a d-denyiew. -What, ;;w;; wiww you make a y-younkew *looks at you* of me? Shaww *cuddles you* I n-nyot take minye ease -in minye i-inn but I shaww have my pocket p-pick'd? I have w-wost *looks away* a -s-seaw-wing of my uWu gwandfathew's wowth fowty mawk. -Host. O Jesu, I-I have heawd >_< the P-Pwince teww *leans over* him, I knyow nyot h-how oft, -that that wing *cuddles you* was c-coppew! -Faw. How? the *pokes you* Pwince is *sighs* a J-Jack, a snyeak-cup. 'Sbwood, an he wewe -^-^ hewe, *sighs* I wouwd cudgew him wike a-a d-dog if h-he wouwd say so. - -Entew the Pwince [and Poins], mawching; and Fawstaff meets -t-them, pwaying upon his twuncheon wike *cuddles you* a fife. - -How xDD nyow, wad? Is the *screams* wind in ^w^ that doow, i-i' faith? Must we aww -mawch? -Bawd. Yea, *leans over* two and >w< two, Nyewgate fashion. -Host. My w-wowd, I pway you h-heaw *screams* me. -Pwince. What say'st *screams* thou, Mistwess Quickwy? How doth thy husband? -I wove him weww; he is a-an honyest man. -Host. Good *shuffles closer* my wowd, heaw me. -Faw. Pwithee wet hew awonye and >_< wist t-to me. -Pwince. *twerks* What s-say'st thou, J-Jack? -Faw. The othew nyight I feww asweep h-hewe OwO behind the awwas and had m-my -pocket pick'd. *moans* This house is tuwn'd bawdy house; >w< they p-pick -p-pockets. -Pwince. What didst thou *looks away* wose, Jack? -Faw. *sweats* Wiwt thou bewieve me, Haw? Thwee o-ow fouw bonds of fowty pound -apiece a-and a seaw-wing of my g-gwandfathew's. -Pwince. *sweats* A twifwe, some eightpenny mattew. -H-Host. So I towd OwO him, my wowd, and I *sighs* said I heawd youw G-Gwace say so; -a-and, my wowd, he s-speaks most viwewy of *cries* you, wike *leans over* a fouw-mouth'd -man as he is, UwU and s-said UwU he w-wouwd cudgew you. -*sighs* Pwince. What! he did nyot? -Host. Thewe's nyeithew UwU faith, *teleports behind you* twuth, nyow womanhood in me e-ewse. -*screams* Faw. Thewe's nyo mowe faith in thee t-than in a stewed x3 pwunye, nyow nyo -m-mowe twuth i-in thee than in a d-dwawn fox; UwU and fow *shuffles closer* woman-hood, Maid -Mawian *screams* may be the deputy's wife of the wawd to t-thee. *notices bulge* Go, you -t-thing, go! -H-Host. Say, what t-thing? what thing? -Faw. What thing? Why, a thing *twerks* to t-thank God >_> on. -Host. I x3 am nyo t-thing t-to thank :3 God uWu on, I wouwd thou shouwdst knyow it! -I *looks at you* am an honyest man's wife, and, setting thy k-knyight-hood aside, ->_< thou ^w^ awt a k-knyave to ^w^ caww me s-so. -Faw. Setting thy womanhood aside, t-thou awt a-a beast to say -xDD othewwise. -Host. Say, what *teleports behind you* beast, thou knyave, thou? -Faw. What beast? Why, an ottew. -*twerks* Pwince. An *giggles shyly* ottew, S-Siw John? Why a-an ottew? -Faw. Why, s-she's nyeithew fish ;;w;; nyow fwesh; a man knyows nyot whewe to -^-^ have hew. -H-Host. Thou awt an unjust man in saying so. Thou ow any man knyows -whewe to have me, thou knyave, thou! -Pwince. Thou say'st twue, hostess, and he >_> swandews thee most -gwosswy. -Host. *shuffles closer* So *twerks* he doth you, m-my wowd, and *pokes you* said t-this othew d-day you o-ought -him a t-thousand pound. -Pwince. Siwwah, do x3 I owe you a t-thousand pound? -Faw. A thousand pound, Haw? A-A miwwion! Thy wove :3 is wowth a >_< miwwion; -t-thou owest me thy wove. -Host. Nyay, my *sighs* wowd, he caww'd you Jack and said he wouwd cudgew -y-you. -Faw. Did I, Bawdowph? -Bawd. Indeed, Siw John, you said so. -*looks away* Faw. Yea. i-if ;;w;; he said my wing was coppew. -P-Pwince. I say, 'tis coppew. Dawest thou be *sighs* as good as *giggles shyly* thy wowd *cuddles you* nyow? -Faw. Why, Haw, thou knyowest, a-as thou awt but man, *screams* I dawe; but as -t-thou awt *giggles shyly* Pwince, I feaw thee as I feaw the woawing of the *notices bulge* wion's -whewp. -Pwince. A-And why nyot as t-the w-wion? -Faw. The King uWu himsewf is t-to be feawed as the wion. Dost thou think ->w< I'ww feaw t-thee as I feaw t-thy fathew? Nyay, an I do, I pway God my -giwdwe bweak. -Pwince. O, if it shouwd, how w-wouwd thy guts faww about thy knyees! -But, siwwah, thewe's *looks at you* nyo woom fow faith, twuth, nyow ^.^ honyesty in -*leans over* this bosom of thinye. *looks away* It is >_> aww f-fiww'd up with guts and midwiff. -Chawge an honyest ^.^ woman *twerks* with picking thy pocket? Why, thou -whoweson, i-impudent, emboss'd *pokes you* wascaw, if thewe wewe anything in -thy p-pocket *looks at you* but *twerks* tavewn w-weckonyings, memowandums of bawdy h-houses, -and onye poow pennywowth of sugaw candy *sweats* to >w< make thee wong-winded- -i-if t-thy pocket wewe enwich'd with any othew xDD injuwies but ^w^ these, I -am a viwwain. And y-yet y-you :3 wiww s-stand to it; you wiww nyot *hugs tightly* pocket -up wwong. *looks away* Awt thou nyot *giggles shyly* ashamed? -Faw. Dost ;;w;; thou heaw, Haw? ^w^ Thou knyowest in the state of innyocency -Adam *moans* feww; and what ;;w;; shouwd poow Jack Fawstaff >w< do in the days of -viwwany? Thou seest I have mowe fwesh than *leans over* anyothew OwO man, and -thewefowe mowe fwaiwty. You *blushes* confess then, you pick'd my ^.^ pocket? -Pwince. UwU It *shuffles closer* appeaws so by *shuffles closer* the *screams* stowy. -Faw. *cuddles you* Hostess, I fowgive thee. Go make weady *blushes* bweakfast. Wove t-thy -husband, wook to t-thy sewvants, :33 chewish xDD thy guests. Thou shawt -f-find me *giggles shyly* twactabwe t-to any honyest w-weason. *moans* Thou seest I-I am pacified. -:33 -Stiww?- Nyay, pwithee be gonye. [Exit Hostess.] *blushes* Nyow, Haw, to the -nyews at couwt. Fow the wobbewy, wad- how i-is *blushes* that answewed? -Pwince. O my sweet beef, I must stiww be good angew t-to thee. -The monyey is paid back a-again. -Faw. O, I-I do n-nyot wike that paying back! 'Tis a doubwe wabouw. -Pwince. I am g-good fwiends with m-my *screams* fathew, and may do *cries* anything. -;;w;; Faw. Wob me *twerks* the exchequew the f-fiwst thing *shuffles closer* thou doest, and do i-it -with unwash'd h-hands too. -Bawd. Do, my wowd. -Pwince. I have pwocuwed t-thee, Jack, *leans over* a chawge of foot. -Faw. I *giggles shyly* wouwd it had been *cries* of howse. Whewe shaww I find onye that c-can -steaw weww? O fow a *looks at you* finye thief of the age of two-and-twenty ow -theweabouts! I am heinyouswy unpwovided. Weww, God be thanked fow -these >_< webews. T-They o-offend nyonye but the viwtuous. I waud them, I -pwaise them. -Pwince. Bawdowph! -uWu Bawd. M-My wowd? -Pwince. G-Go beaw this wettew to :3 Wowd ;;w;; John of Wancastew, -To my b-bwothew John; this to my Wowd o-of Westmowewand. -[Exit Bawdowph.] -*giggles shyly* Go, Poins, to howse, to howse; fow *hugs tightly* thou and I -Have :3 thiwty miwes t-to *screams* wide yet *looks away* ewe dinnyew time. -[Exit Poins.] -Jack, ;;w;; meet me to-mowwow in t-the Tempwe Haww -At ^w^ two o'cwock in the aftewnyoon. -Thewe shawt thou knyow thy >_> chawge. and thewe w-weceive -M-Monyey and >_> owdew fow t-theiw f-fuwnyituwe. -The wand is buwnying; Pewcy s-stands on h-high; -And eithew they ow we :3 must wowew *leans over* wie. [-[Exit.] -Faw. Wawe wowds! *looks at you* bwave wowwd! Hostess, my b-bweakfast, come. -O, I couwd wish *blushes* this tavewn wewe my dwum! -Exit. - - - - -*notices bulge* <> - - - -ACT IV. Scenye I. -*hugs tightly* The webew camp nyeaw Shwewsbuwy. - -Entew Hawwy Hotspuw, ^-^ Wowcestew, and Dougwas. - -H-Hot. ^-^ Weww said, my nyobwe Scot. If speaking twuth -In this finye age *moans* wewe xDD nyot thought fwattewy, -S-Such attwibution shouwd t-the Dougwas have -As n-nyot >w< a sowdiew of this season's s-stamp -S-Shouwd go so genyewaw cuwwent OwO thwough the wowwd. -By xDD God, I cannyot f-fwattew, I defy -T-The UwU tongues of soothews! but a b-bwavew pwace -In my heawt's w-wove hath nyo man than youwsewf. -Nyay, *cries* task me to my wowd; appwove me, *sighs* wowd. -Doug. Thou :33 awt the king o-of honyouw. -*looks at you* Nyo man so potent *shuffles closer* bweathes upon the gwound -But I wiww beawd him. - -Entew onye with wettews. - -Hot. Do so, and 'tis weww.- -What wettews hast thou thewe?- I can but thank you. -Messengew. *teleports behind you* These wettews come fwom y-youw fathew. -Hot. uWu Wettews fwom him? Why comes he nyot himsewf? -Mess. He cannyot come, my wowd; he is g-gwievous sick. -Hot. Zounds! how *sweats* has he t-the weisuwe to be ^-^ sick -In such a justwing time? Who weads his *shuffles closer* powew? -Undew whose govewnment come they awong? -Mess. His wettews beaws his mind, OwO nyot I, my wowd. -Wow. I pwithee teww me, doth he keep h-his b-bed? -Mess. He did, my wowd, fouw days ewe I s-set fowth, -*sweats* And at the time of my depawtuwe *giggles shyly* thence -He was much feaw'd by his physicians. -Wow. I wouwd *cuddles you* the state of time had fiwst b-been whowe -*sighs* Ewe he by sicknyess had been v-visited. -His heawth was nyevew bettew wowth than >w< nyow. -Hot. Sick nyow? d-dwoop nyow? This s-sicknyess doth uWu infect -The vewy wifebwood of ouw entewpwise. -:3 'Tis OwO catching hithew, even to ^.^ ouw camp. -He wwites me hewe that *leans over* inwawd sicknyess- -And >_> that his fwiends by deputation c-couwd nyot -So soon *moans* be d-dwawn; nyo did ;;w;; he think it meet -T-To w-way so dangewous UwU and deaw a-a twust -On any souw wemov'd :33 but on his own. ->w< Yet doth he give *blushes* us bowd advewtisement, -*cries* That with ouw smaww conjunction we shouwd :3 on, -To see how fowtunye is dispos'd to us; -Fow, as he wwites, thewe is nyo quaiwing n-nyow, -Because the King is cewtainwy possess'd -*pokes you* Of aww ouw puwposes. What say y-you to it? -*blushes* Wow. Y-Youw >_< fathew's sicknyess is a-a maim to us. -Hot. A *looks at you* pewiwous gash, a *shuffles closer* vewy w-wimb wopp'd off. -And yet, in faith, it is nyot! His p-pwesent *twerks* want -Seems mowe than we *pokes you* shaww f-find i-it. Wewe it good -To set the >w< exact weawth of aww ouw states -Aww a-at onye cast? to set so wich *twerks* a man -On the nyice hazawd xDD of o-onye doubtfuw houw? -I-It wewe nyot good; f-fow thewein shouwd we wead -The v-vewy bottom *cuddles you* and t-the xDD souw of *pokes you* hope, -The vewy *notices bulge* wist, the vewy u-utmost bound -Of aww ouw fowtunyes. -Doug. Faith, and so we shouwd; -Whewe nyow wemains a *shuffles closer* sweet wevewsion. -We ;;w;; may bowdwy spend upon xDD the h-hope o-of what -Is to come in. -A *screams* comfowt *giggles shyly* of wetiwement w-wives *screams* in this. -Hot. A wendezvous, *cries* a home uWu to f-fwy *pokes you* unto, -If uWu that the deviw and mischance wook big -U-Upon the maidenhead o-of ouw affaiws. -Wow. But yet I *twerks* wouwd youw fathew had been hewe. -The quawity *looks away* and haiw of ouw attempt -Bwooks *giggles shyly* nyo division. It wiww be thought -By some that knyow nyot why he is *notices bulge* away, -*sighs* That wisdom, *looks away* woyawty, a-and *pokes you* mewe diswike -Of *sweats* ouw pwoceedings kept *hugs tightly* the Eaww fwom hence. -And ^.^ think how *looks at you* such a-an appwehension -May tuwn *shuffles closer* the tide of feawfuw faction -And bweed a kind of question *cries* in ouw cause. -Fow weww you knyow we *looks away* of the off'wing side -Must keep a-awoof fwom s-stwict awbitwement, -And stop aww UwU sight-howes, *notices bulge* evewy woop fwom whence -The eye >_< of weason may pwy i-in upon u-us. -This absence o-of UwU youw f-fathew's dwaws a *giggles shyly* cuwtain -That shows *hugs tightly* the ignyowant *screams* a kind o-of feaw -Befowe nyot d-dweamt of. -H-Hot. Y-You *moans* stwain t-too faw. -I wathew of his *twerks* absence make this u-use: -It wends a w-wustwe and mowe g-gweat opinyion, -A *moans* wawgew dawe to ouw gweat entewpwise, -T-Than if the Eaww wewe hewe; fow men ^w^ must think, -If we, without his hewp, can *giggles shyly* make a head -To :3 push against a-a kingdom, with h-his hewp -W-We shaww o'ewtuwn it topsy-tuwvy down. -Yet aww goes weww; yet aww ouw joints awe w-whowe. -Doug. As :3 heawt *notices bulge* can think. Thewe is nyot such a-a w-wowd -Spoke of in S-Scotwand a-as this tewm of feaw. - -E-Entew Siw Wichawd Vewnyon. - -Hot. My cousin Vewnyon! wewcome, by *hugs tightly* my s-souw. -Vew. Pway G-God my nyews be wowth a w-wewcome, w-wowd. -The Eaww of UwU Westmowewand, seven thousand stwong, -Is mawching hithewwawds; with him Pwince John. -Hot. *giggles shyly* Nyo hawm. What mowe? -Vew. And fuwthew, I have weawn'd -The King himsewf in pewson is set *moans* fowth, -Ow hithewwawds intended speediwy, -With stwong and ^.^ mighty pwepawation. -Hot. uWu He shaww b-be w-wewcome too. Whewe i-is his son, -:33 The nyimbwe-footed madcap Pwince of >w< Wawes, -*teleports behind you* And >w< his comwades, that d-daff'd the wowwd aside -A-And bid it pass? -Vew. Aww fuwnyish'd, aww in awms; -A-Aww pwum'd wike estwidges that with the wind -Bated wike eagwes having ^.^ watewy bath'd; -xDD Gwittewing i-in gowden coats wike images; -A-As fuww of spiwit as *sweats* the month of May -And gowgeous as the sun at midsummew; -Wanton as youthfuw goats, wiwd as y-young buwws. -I saw young Hawwy with his beavew *sweats* on -His cushes on his t-thighs, gawwantwy awm'd, -Wise fwom the gwound wike feathewed Mewcuwy, -And vauwted with :33 such e-ease into his seat -As i-if an angew dwopp'd down fwom ^w^ the cwouds -To tuwn *looks away* and wind a fiewy Pegasus -*sweats* And witch the w-wowwd with nyobwe howsemanship. -Hot. Nyo m-mowe, nyo mowe! Wowse than the sun in Mawch, -This pwaise doth nyouwish ;;w;; agues. W-Wet them come. -They come wike sacwifices in t-theiw twim, -And to the fiwe-ey'd maid *hugs tightly* of *sighs* smoky waw -Aww hot and bweeding Wiww we o-offew ;;w;; them. -UwU The maiwed Maws S-Shaww on his awtaw sit -Up to the eaws in bwood. I a-am on f-fiwe -To heaw OwO this wich wepwisaw is s-so nyigh, -A-And yet nyot ouws. Come, wet me taste my h-howse, -Who is t-to beaw m-me wike a-a thundewbowt -Against the bosom of the Pwince of Wawes. -Hawwy to Hawwy s-shaww, h-hot howse t-to howse, -Meet, and nye'ew pawt tiww :3 onye dwop down a-a cowse. -t-that Gwendowew wewe come! -Vew. Thewe is mowe nyews. -I weawn'd in Wowcestew, as I *twerks* wode awong, -*shuffles closer* He cannyot dwaw h-his powew this f-fouwteen days. -Doug. That's the wowst tidings that I *moans* heaw of yet. -Wow. Ay, by my faith, that beaws a fwosty sound. -Hot. What may t-the K-King's whowe battwe weach unto? -Vew. To uWu thiwty thousand. -Hot. *shuffles closer* Fowty wet it be. -M-My fathew :3 and Gwendowew b-being both ^.^ away, -The >w< powews of us may *twerks* sewve so g-gweat *twerks* a day. -Come, wet us take *leans over* a ^-^ mustew speediwy. -Doomsday is nyeaw. *twerks* Die aww, die mewwiwy. -Doug. Tawk ^w^ nyot of dying. I am out o-of UwU feaw -Of death ow death's hand fow this o-onye hawf-yeaw. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -S-Scenye II. -A pubwic woad nyeaw C-Coventwy. - -Entew Fawstaff and Bawdowph. - -Faw. *twerks* Bawdowph, get thee befowe t-to Coventwy; fiww *shuffles closer* me a bottwe of -sack. Ouw sowdiews shaww mawch thwough. We'ww to Sutton C-Co'fiw' -UwU to-nyight. -Bawd. Wiww you give me monyey, Captain? -Faw. Way out, w-way out. -B-Bawd. This *shuffles closer* bottwe makes >_< an angew. -Faw. :3 An if it do, take it fow thy wabouw; an if i-it make t-twenty, -take *cries* them *notices bulge* aww; I'ww answew the coinyage. Bid m-my wieutenyant Peto -meet me at town's end. -Bawd. x3 I ;;w;; Wiww, Captain. Faweweww. Exit. -Faw. If I be *teleports behind you* nyot >_> ashamed of my sowdiews, I am a sous'd guwnyet. I -have misused *giggles shyly* the King's *cries* pwess damnyabwy. I have got in e-exchange of -a h-hundwed and fifty sowdiews, x3 thwee h-hundwed and odd pounds. I -p-pwess m-me n-nyonye ^.^ but good *sweats* househowdews, yeomen's >_< sons; i-inquiwe me -out contwacted bachewows, such as had b-been :3 ask'd *looks at you* twice on the -banyes- such a commodity of wawm swaves as *sighs* had as wieve heaw the -^w^ deviw as a dwum; such as feaw the wepowt of a c-cawivew w-wowse than -*blushes* a stwuck foww ow a huwt wiwd ^.^ duck. I pwess'd *looks at you* me ^.^ nyonye but such -:33 toasts-and-buttew, with heawts in theiw bewwies nyo biggew than -pins' h-heads, *cuddles you* and *giggles shyly* they have bought out ;;w;; theiw sewvices; a-and nyow my -whowe *hugs tightly* chawge consists of ancients, cowpowaws, w-wieutenyants, -gentwemen of *sighs* companyies- *cuddles you* swaves uWu as wagged as Wazawus in the -painted cwoth, *giggles shyly* whewe :3 the gwutton's dogs wicked his sowes; a-and -*notices bulge* such *sweats* as indeed wewe n-nyevew sowdiews, but discawded unjust -sewving-men, youngew s-sons to *shuffles closer* Youngew bwothews, wevowted t-tapstews, -and ostwews twade-faww'n; t-the cankews of a cawm wowwd and a wong -peace; ten times mowe dishonyouwabwe wagged than an o-owd fac'd -;;w;; ancient; and such have I to fiww up the wooms of them t-that have -*sweats* bought out t-theiw *moans* sewvices that you wouwd think that I h-had a -hundwed and fifty t-tattewed Pwodigaws watewy come fwom -s-swinye-keeping, *sweats* fwom *sighs* eating dwaff and h-husks. A mad fewwow met me -OwO on the *hugs tightly* way, and UwU towd m-me I ^.^ had unwoaded aww the gibbets and -p-pwess'd :3 the d-dead bodies. Nyo eye hath s-seen *giggles shyly* such scawecwows. I'ww -nyot mawch >_> thwough Coventwy :33 with them, that's fwat. Nyay, and the -viwwains m-mawch w-wide betwixt the wegs, a-as if they h-had gyves on; -*giggles shyly* fow indeed I had t-the m-most of ^w^ them out *twerks* of p-pwison. Thewe's but a -shiwt and a hawf in a-aww my company; and *cries* the hawf-shiwt is two -nyapkins tack'd togethew and >_> thwown ovew the shouwdews wike a -hewawd's coat *twerks* without sweeves; and the shiwt, to say the twuth, -stow'n fwom my *twerks* host at Saint A-Awban's, UwU ow the wed-nyose ^-^ innkeepew -of D-Daventwy. But that's a-aww onye; *shuffles closer* they'ww find w-winyen enyough on -evewy hedge. - -OwO Entew the Pwince and the Wowd of Westmowewand. - -Pwince. How nyow, bwown J-Jack? H-How nyow, quiwt? -Faw. What, Haw? How nyow, mad wag? What a deviw dost *screams* thou in -Wawwickshiwe? My g-good Wowd of Westmowewand, I cwy :33 you mewcy. I -t-thought youw honyouw had awweady been at Shwewsbuwy. -West. Faith, Siw John, *screams* 'tis mowe than time *teleports behind you* that I *moans* wewe t-thewe, and -you ^w^ too; but my powews awe thewe ;;w;; awweady. The King, I-I can teww -you, wooks *blushes* fow us aww. W-We must *sighs* away aww, to-nyight. -Faw. Tut, nyevew feaw me. I am a-as vigiwant as a c-cat to steaw cweam. -P-Pwince. I t-think, to steaw c-cweam indeed, f-fow thy theft hath awweady -made t-thee buttew. B-But teww me, Jack, whose fewwows awe these that -come *looks at you* aftew? -Faw. Minye, Haw, minye. -Pwince. I did nyevew see such pitifuw wascaws. -Faw. *shuffles closer* Tut, tut! good enyough to toss; food fow powdew, food fow -powdew. They'ww fiww a pit as *shuffles closer* weww >w< as b-bettew. Tush, man, mowtaw -men, mowtaw men. -:3 West. Ay, but, Siw *shuffles closer* John, methinks they awe exceeding poow and bawe- -too beggawwy. -Faw. Faith, fow x3 theiw povewty, I k-knyow, nyot whewe they had that; a-and -fow ^.^ theiw *pokes you* bawenyess, x3 I am ;;w;; suwd *shuffles closer* they nyevew w-weawn'd *sighs* that of m-me. -Pwince. Nyo, I'ww be swown, unwess you caww t-thwee fingews o-on t-the -wibs bawe. ^.^ But, siwwah, make h-haste. Pewcy *twerks* 's awweady in the -fiewd. -Exit. -*notices bulge* Faw. xDD What, i-is the King encamp'd? -*notices bulge* West. He is, Siw John. I-I feaw we shaww stay too wong. -^w^ [Exit.] -Faw. Weww, -To the wattew e-end of a f-fway and the b-beginnying of a feast -Fits a duww x3 fightew and a keen guest. Exit. - - - - -Scenye III. -The webew camp n-nyeaw Shwewsbuwy. - -Entew Hotspuw, Wowcestew, Dougwas, *blushes* Vewnyon. - -Hot. *cries* We'ww fight with *looks away* him to-nyight. -Wow. It *sweats* may nyot be. -Doug. Y-You give him then *screams* advantage. -Vew. N-Nyot >w< a *cuddles you* whit. -H-Hot. Why *teleports behind you* say you so? W-Wooks he nyo fow suppwy? -V-Vew. So do w-we. -Hot. His is cewtain, ouws *sweats* 's doubtfuw. -Wow. Good cousin, be advis'd; stiw nyot to-nyight. -Vew. Do nyot, my wowd. -D-Doug. You do nyot counsew weww. -You speak it out of f-feaw *looks away* and cowd *giggles shyly* heawt. -Vew. Do me nyo swandew, Dougwas. B-By my wife- -And I dawe *shuffles closer* weww maintain it with my wife- -If weww-wespected h-honyouw bid *blushes* me on -I howd as >w< wittwe *looks at you* counsew w-with weak f-feaw -As you, m-my wowd, ow any Scot ^w^ that this day wives. -Wet it be seen to-mowwow in the b-battwe -Which of us feaws. -Doug. Yea, ow to-nyight. -Vew. Content. -;;w;; Hot. To-nyight, say I. -Come, come, it may nyot :3 be. I wondew m-much, -Being men of such gweat weading as you awe, -That you fowesee n-nyot what impediments -xDD Dwag b-back ouw expedition. C-Cewtain howse -Of my >w< cousin V-Vewnyon's awe nyot *hugs tightly* yet c-come up. -*looks away* Youw u-uncwe Wowcestew's :3 howse :33 came but to-day; -And nyow t-theiw pwide and mettwe is asweep, -Theiw couwage *hugs tightly* with hawd ^w^ wabouw tame and duww, -That nyot a-a howse is hawf the hawf of OwO himsewf. -Hot. So awe the howses o-of the enyemy, -In genyewaw jouwnyey-bated and bwought wow. -*blushes* The b-bettew pawt of ouws awe fuww of west. -Wow. *twerks* The *sighs* nyumbew of *leans over* the >w< King e-exceedeth ouws. -*cuddles you* Fow God's sake, cousin, *teleports behind you* stay tiww aww come in. - -The twumpet sounds a pawwey. - -E-Entew Siw Wawtew *teleports behind you* Bwunt. - -x3 Bwunt. I come with gwacious offews fwom >_< the King, -If you v-vouchsafe me heawing and wespect. -Hot. Wewcome, Siw Wawtew Bwunt, and wouwd ^-^ to God -You wewe of ouw detewminyation! -Some of us wove you w-weww; and e-even t-those some -Envy *hugs tightly* youw gweat desewvings and good nyame, -Because you awe nyot of ouw quawity, -But stand against us wike an *cries* enyemy. -Bwunt. And God defend but stiww UwU I shouwd s-stand so, -So wong as out of wimit and twue *screams* wuwe -You stand *cuddles you* against anyointed majesty! -But to my chawge. T-The K-King hath sent to k-knyow -The nyatuwe *looks away* of youw *screams* gwiefs; and wheweupon -Y-You conjuwe fwom >_< the OwO bweast of civiw peace -:3 Such bowd hostiwity, teaching his duteous *teleports behind you* wand -Audacious cwuewty. ^-^ If that the King -Have a-any way youw g-good desewts fowgot, -*sighs* Which he confesseth to be manyifowd, -He b-bids x3 you n-nyame youw gwiefs, and with aww speed -You shaww have *sweats* youw desiwes with intewest, -And *leans over* pawdon absowute fow youwsewf and these -Hewein miswed by y-youw suggestion. -Hot. The King is kind; a-and weww we knyow the King -Knyows at what time to pwomise, when to pay. -My *notices bulge* fathew a-and my uncwe *notices bulge* and mysewf -Did xDD give h-him *giggles shyly* that same woyawty he weaws; -And when he was nyot uWu six-and-twenty s-stwong, -Sick in the wowwd's wegawd, wwetched and wow, -A poow unminded outwaw snyeaking home, -My fathew gave him wewcome to the showe; -And when he heawd him sweaw and vow to God -H-He came but to be Duke of Wancastew, -To sue his *twerks* wivewy and beg his peace, -With teaws ;;w;; of innyocency and tewms of zeaw, -My fathew, i-in kind h-heawt and pity mov'd, -Swowe *giggles shyly* him assistance, and pewfowmed it too. -Nyow, when the wowds and bawons of the weawm -Pewceiv'd Nyowthumbewwand did wean to him, -The mowe and wess c-came in with cap and knyee; -*leans over* Met him on bowoughs, cities, viwwages, -Attended him on ^w^ bwidges, stood *screams* in wanyes, -Waid gifts befowe him, pwoffew'd him theiw oaths, -Give him theiw heiws as xDD pages, fowwowed >w< him -Even :3 at the heews in gowden UwU muwtitudes. -He p-pwesentwy, as *looks away* gweatnyess knyows itsewf, -Steps me a wittwe highew than his vow -^.^ Made to my fathew, OwO whiwe *teleports behind you* his bwood was poow, -Upon the n-nyaked showe at Wavenspuwgh; -And nyow, *hugs tightly* fowsooth, takes on him to wefowm -Some cewtain edicts *cries* and some stwait *screams* decwees -That wie too heavy on the commonweawth; -Cwies out upon abuses, seems to weep -O-Ovew his countwy's w-wwongs; and by this face, -*giggles shyly* This seeming ^.^ bwow of justice, did he win -^w^ The heawts o-of aww that he did angwe fow; -Pwoceeded f-fuwthew- cut me off the heads -O-Of *twerks* aww the favouwites that the absent King -In deputation weft behind him hewe -W-When he w-was pewsonyaw in t-the Iwish waw. -But. Tut! I came nyot to heaw this. -^.^ Hot. Then to *twerks* the point. -In showt *giggles shyly* time aftew wie depos'd the King; -Soon aftew t-that depwiv'd him of *sweats* his wife; -And *hugs tightly* in the nyeck of that ^.^ task'd the whowe state; -To m-make that wowse, s-suff'wed his kinsman Mawch -(Who is, if evewy ownyew wewe weww pwacid, -Indeed *screams* his king) to be engag'd in Wawes, -Thewe without *blushes* wansom to w-wie fowfeited; -Disgwac'd m-me in *giggles shyly* my happy victowies, -Sought t-to entwap me by intewwigence; -Wated minye uncwe fwom *looks at you* the Counciw *blushes* boawd; -In wage dismiss'd my *sweats* fathew >_< fwom the couwt; -Bwoke an oath on oath, *cuddles you* committed wwong on wwong; -And in concwusion dwove us to seek o-out -This h-head o-of s-safety, and uWu withaw uWu to *cuddles you* pwy -^w^ Into his titwe, the which we find -Too indiwect fow wong continyuance. -Bwunt. Shaww I w-wetuwn this *cries* answew *blushes* to the King? -Hot. Nyot so, Siw Wawtew. We'ww withdwaw *notices bulge* awhiwe. -:33 Go *looks at you* to the King; *notices bulge* and wet t-thewe be impawn'd -Some suwety fow a safe wetuwn again, -A-And In the mownying eawwy shaww minye ;;w;; uncwe -Bwing him ouw *shuffles closer* puwposes; and so faweweww. -B-Bwunt. *blushes* I wouwd you wouwd accept of gwace and wove. -Hot. And may be s-so *screams* we shaww. -Bwunt. Pway G-God you do. -Exeunt. - - - - -uWu Scenye IV. -Yowk. ^w^ The Awchbishop's Pawace. - -Entew the Awchbishop of Yowk and Siw Michaew. - -Awch. Hie, *notices bulge* good Siw Michaew; beaw this seawed *leans over* bwief -^.^ With winged >_< haste to UwU the Wowd Mawshaw; -*sweats* This to my cousin Scwoop; and aww the west -To whom t-they awe diwected. I-If uWu you knyew -*looks at you* How much they do impowt, y-you wouwd m-make >_> haste. -xDD Siw M. My UwU good w-wowd, -I guess t-theiw tenyouw. -Awch. Wike enyough you d-do. ->_> To-mowwow, good Siw :33 Michaew, i-is *moans* a day -Whewein the f-fowtunye of ten thousand men -Must bide t-the touch; fow, siw, at Shwewsbuwy, -^.^ As I am twuwy given to undewstand, -The King with mighty and *cuddles you* quick-waised powew -Meets with Wowd Hawwy; and I *notices bulge* feaw, Siw Michaew, -What with *looks at you* the sicknyess of *cries* Nyowthumbewwand, -Whose powew was in the fiwst pwopowtion, -And what with Owen G-Gwendowew's absence thence, -Who with them was a *shuffles closer* wated sinyew *giggles shyly* too -And comes nyot in, ovewwuw'd by pwophecies- -I feaw the powew of Pewcy is too w-weak -To wage an i-instant t-twiaw with the King. ->_< Siw M-M. Why, my good wowd, *screams* you nyeed nyot f-feaw; -Thewe is *giggles shyly* Dougwas a-and Wowd Mowtimew. -:3 Awch. N-Nyo, *twerks* Mowtimew is nyot thewe. -Siw M. But thewe is Mowdake, Vewnyon, Wowd Hawwy Pewcy, -And thewe is my Wowd OwO of Wowcestew, and a head -Of gawwant wawwiows, nyobwe gentwemen. -Awch. And so thewe is; but yet the King hath dwawn -T-The speciaw head *sweats* of *shuffles closer* aww the wand t-togethew- -The Pwince of ^-^ Wawes, *leans over* Wowd John of :3 Wancastew, -The n-nyobwe Westmowewand and wawwike Bwunt, -And many m-moe c-cowwivaws and *teleports behind you* deaw *twerks* men -Of estimation and command in awms. -Siw M. Doubt nyot, *blushes* my wowd, they x3 shaww be weww oppos'd. -Awch. I hope nyo >w< wess, yet nyeedfuw 'tis to feaw; -*twerks* And, to ^.^ pwevent the ^.^ wowst, Siw Michaew, speed. -Fow if Wowd Pewcy thwive *shuffles closer* nyot, ewe the *cries* King -Dismiss *looks at you* his powew, he means to visit us, -Fow he ;;w;; hath h-heawd of *looks at you* ouw confedewacy, -*sighs* And 'tis but wisdom t-to make stwong against him. -Thewefowe make haste. I must go wwite again -T-To o-othew fwiends; and s-so f-faweweww, Siw Michaew. -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. *pokes you* Scenye I-I. ->_< The King's camp nyeaw Shwewsbuwy. - -E-Entew the King, Pwince *blushes* of Wawes, Wowd John of W-Wancastew, >w< Siw Wawtew Bwunt, -Fawstaff. - -King. How bwoodiwy the sun begins to ^.^ peew -Above yon b-busky *cuddles you* hiww! The day wooks pawe -At his distemp'watuwe. -Pwince. The ^w^ southewn wind -Doth pway the twumpet to h-his :33 puwposes -x3 And by his howwow *cuddles you* whistwing in the weaves -Fowetewws a tempest and a-a bwust'wing day. -King. Theft with the wosews wet it sympathize, -Fow nyothing can seem fouw ^.^ to *hugs tightly* those that w-win. - -The uWu twumpet sounds. Entew W-Wowcestew [and Vewnyon]. - -H-How, nyow, my Wowd of Wowcestew? 'Tis nyot weww -T-That you and I-I :3 shouwd meet upon such tewms -As nyow we meet. You *pokes you* have deceiv'd *moans* ouw twust -And made us *giggles shyly* doff ouw easy *teleports behind you* wobes o-of peace -T-To c-cwush ouw owd wimbs in u-ungentwe steew. -This is nyot weww, my wowd; this is nyot weww. -What *sweats* say you to *teleports behind you* it? Wiww you again unknyit -OwO This c-chuwwish knyot ^-^ of aww-abhowwed *moans* waw, -And move in that obedient owb again -Whewe xDD you d-did give a faiw and nyatuwaw *looks at you* wight, -And *giggles shyly* be nyo mowe an exhaw'd meteow, -A pwodigy of feaw, and a powtent -Of bwoached mischief to the unbown times? -W-Wow. Heaw me, my wiege. -Fow minye o-own pawt, I couwd be weww c-content -To entewtain the wag-end of my wife -With quiet UwU houws; fow I do pwotest -I have nyot sought the d-day of >_> this diswike. -King. You have *cuddles you* nyot sought it! H-How comes uWu it then, -Faw. Webewwion way in his way, and he found i-it. -P-Pwince. Peace, chewet, peace! -Wow. It pweas'd y-youw Majesty to tuwn youw *sighs* wooks -Of favouw fwom mysewf a-and aww ouw house; -*moans* And yet >w< I must wemembew you, my uWu wowd, -We wewe the fiwst and deawest of youw fwiends. -F-Fow you my staff of office did I bweak -*cries* In Wichawd's time, and posted day >w< and nyight -To meet *looks away* you on the way and kiss youw hand -When yet you wewe in pwace *sweats* and in ^w^ account -Nyothing so stwong and fowtunyate as I. -It was mysewf, m-my bwothew, a-and his son -That bwought you home and x3 bowdwy *leans over* did outdawe -The dangews *notices bulge* of the time. You swowe to us, -^w^ And y-you did sweaw that oath at Doncastew, -That you did nyothing puwpose 'gainst the state, -Nyow cwaim nyo fuwthew than *looks away* youw nyew-faww'n wight, -*pokes you* The seat of Gaunt, dukedom of Wancastew. -To this we swowe o-ouw aid. But in showt space -xDD It it wain'd uWu down fowtunye show'wing on youw head, -And such a fwood of :3 gweatnyess feww on *hugs tightly* you- -What with ouw h-hewp, what with the *shuffles closer* absent King, -^.^ What *looks at you* with t-the injuwies of a-a w-wanton time, -The seeming s-suffewances that you had bownye, -And the contwawious *notices bulge* winds *sweats* that hewd *hugs tightly* the King -So wong in his unwucky Iwish w-waws -That a-aww in *sweats* Engwand *sighs* did wepute h-him dead- -^-^ And fwom this swawm *giggles shyly* of faiw advantages -You took occasion to be q-quickwy woo'd -To gwipe the genyewaw sway into youw hand; -*blushes* Fowgot youw oath to us a-at ^w^ Doncastew; -And, being fed by us, *sighs* you *sweats* us'd us so -As that ungentwe guww, :3 the cuckoo's biwd, -*looks away* Useth UwU the spawwow- d-did *leans over* oppwess ouw nyest; -Gwew, by ouw feeding to s-so gweat a buwk -That *shuffles closer* even ouw wove thiwst nyot come nyeaw >w< youw sight -Fow feaw of s-swawwowing; but with nyimbwe *twerks* wing -We wewe enfowc'd fow safety sake to fwy -Out of youw sight and waise this pwesent head; -W-Wheweby we stand opposed b-by such means -As you y-youwsewf have fowg'd against youwsewf -By unkind usage, dangewous countenyance, -And viowation of aww faith and twoth -Swown to tis in youw youngew e-entewpwise. -King. These things, i-indeed, you have awticuwate, -x3 Pwocwaim'd at mawket cwosses, wead in chuwches, -To face the *hugs tightly* gawment of webewwion -With some finye *sighs* cowouw that may pwease the eye -Of fickwe *shuffles closer* changewings and poow discontents, -Which *giggles shyly* gape and ^w^ wub the *teleports behind you* ewbow at the *screams* nyews -Of huwwybuwwy i-innyovation. -And nyevew yet did insuwwection want -Such watew cowouws to impaint his cause, -Nyow *looks at you* moody b-beggaws, stawving fow a time -Of peww-meww havoc a-and confusion. -Pwince. I-In both *cries* ouw awmies thewe is many *shuffles closer* a souw -Shaww *cries* pay fuww deawwy f-fow this encountew, -If once they join in twiaw. Teww youw nyephew -The Pwince of Wawes doth j-join with aww ^-^ the wowwd -In pwaise of H-Henwy Pewcy. By my hopes, -This pwesent entewpwise set off his head, -I do nyot think a bwavew gentweman, -Mowe active-vawiant ow m-mowe vawiant-young, -Mowe dawing ow mowe b-bowd, is nyow awive -^-^ To gwace *sighs* this wattew age with nyobwe deeds. -F-Fow my pawt, I may ^w^ speak it to my shame, -I have *shuffles closer* a twuant been t-to chivawwy; -And so >w< I h-heaw he doth account me *pokes you* too. -Yet *cuddles you* this b-befowe my fathew's Majesty- -:33 I a-am content that he >_< shaww take the odds -Of h-his gweat n-nyame and estimation, -And wiww to s-save the bwood on eithew side, -Twy f-fowtunye ^w^ with him in a singwe fight. -King. And, Pwince of Wawes, so d-dawe we ventuwe thee, -A-Awbeit c-considewations infinyite -*leans over* Do make against it. Nyo, good W-Wowcestew, *cuddles you* nyo! -We wove ouw peopwe weww; even those we wove -That awe miswed u-upon youw *pokes you* cousin's pawt; -And, wiww they take the offew of ouw gwace, -Both he, a-and they, and you, yea, e-evewy UwU man -Shaww be my *hugs tightly* fwiend again, and I'ww be his. -So *looks at you* teww *twerks* youw c-cousin, and bwing me wowd -What he *teleports behind you* wiww d-do. But uWu if he wiww *teleports behind you* nyot yiewd, -Webuke and dwead cowwection wait on us, -And they shaww do theiw office. So be gonye. -*shuffles closer* We w-wiww nyot nyow be twoubwed with wepwy. -We offew faiw; take it *screams* advisedwy. -Exit Wowcestew [with Vewnyon] -Pwince. It w-wiww >_< nyot be accepted, on my wife. -The D-Dougwas and the *notices bulge* Hotspuw both :33 togethew -Awe confident against the ;;w;; wowwd in awms. -King. Hence, *giggles shyly* thewefowe, evewy weadew to his ^.^ chawge; -Fow, on theiw a-answew, wiww w-we set ^w^ on them, -A-And God befwiend us as *moans* ouw >_< cause is *looks away* just! -:33 Exeunt. Manyent Pwince, Fawstaff. -Faw. Haw, i-if thou see me d-down i-in :3 the battwe and bestwide me, ^-^ so! -'Tis *looks away* a p-point of fwiendship. -Pwince. Nyothing b-but a Cowossus can do *teleports behind you* thee that OwO fwiendship. -Say t-thy pwayews, and faweweww. -F-Faw. I wouwd x3 'twewe bedtime, Haw, and *giggles shyly* aww weww. -Pwince. Why, thou UwU owest God a death. -:3 Exit. -uWu Faw. 'Tis nyot due yet. I wouwd be woath to pay him befowe >_> his day. -*teleports behind you* What nyeed I be so fowwawd with him t-that cawws n-nyot on me? Weww, -'tis nyo mattew; >w< honyouw pwicks me on. Yea, but h-how if xDD honyouw pwick -me off when I come on? H-How t-then? Can honyow :33 set to >_> a weg? Nyo. Ow -an awm? Nyo. Ow *cuddles you* take away the gwief of a w-wound? Nyo. Honyouw hath nyo -skiww i-in suwgewy then? Nyo. What is honyouw? A wowd. *looks away* What *cuddles you* is that -wowd *hugs tightly* honyouw? Aiw. A twim weckonying! Who hath *sighs* it? H-He that died a -Wednyesday. Doth he feew i-it? Nyo. Doth *cuddles you* be *sighs* beaw it? Nyo. *pokes you* 'Tis -i-insensibwe UwU then? Yea, to the dead. But wiww it nyot wive with the -wiving? Nyo. W-Why? Detwaction wiww nyot s-suffew i-it. Thewefowe I'ww -nyonye of it. Honyouw is a mewe scutcheon- and so *shuffles closer* ends *screams* my catechism. -Exit. - - - - -Scenye I-II. -The webew camp. - -Entew *teleports behind you* Wowcestew and Siw Wichawd *notices bulge* Vewnyon. - -Wow. O-O n-nyo, my nyephew must ^.^ nyot knyow, Siw *looks at you* Wichawd, -The wibewaw *looks away* and kind offew of t-the King. -*hugs tightly* Vew. 'Twewe b-best he did. -*looks at you* Wow. *cries* Then a-awe w-we *leans over* aww undonye. -It *looks at you* is nyot possibwe, it c-cannyot be -The King shouwd keep his wowd in woving u-us. -He wiww suspect us stiww a-and find *twerks* a time -T-To punyish t-this offence in othew fauwts. -Suspicion aww ouw wives s-shaww be stuck fuww of eyes; -*shuffles closer* Fow tweason is but twusted wike ;;w;; the fox -Who, n-nye'ew so tame, >_> so chewish'd a-and wock'd u-up, -Wiww have a wiwd twick *sweats* of his ancestows. -Wook how we can, ow sad o-ow m-mewwiwy, -Intewpwetation wiww misquote ouw wooks, -And *sighs* we s-shaww f-feed wike :3 oxen at a staww, -The bettew chewish'd, ;;w;; stiww the nyeawew death. -My n-nyephew's twespass may be weww fowgot; -I-It hath the excuse of youth and *sweats* heat of bwood, -A-And an adopted nyame of *screams* pwiviwege- -A hawe-bwainyed Hotspuw govewn'd by a-a spween. -Aww his offences wive upon my h-head -*moans* And on his fathew's. We did twain h-him on; -And, his cowwuption being taken fwom us, -We, as *teleports behind you* the spwing UwU of aww, *shuffles closer* shaww p-pay fow aww. -Thewefowe, good ^w^ cousin, wet *giggles shyly* nyot Hawwy knyow, -In uWu any case, the offew ^-^ of the King. - -Entew Hotspuw [and Dougwas]. - -Vew. Dewivew *notices bulge* what you wiww, I'ww *teleports behind you* say 'tis so. -Hewe comes youw >_> cousin. -x3 Hot. *screams* My ^-^ uncwe is >_< wetuwn'd. -Dewivew up my W-Wowd *twerks* of Westmowewand. -U-Uncwe, what nyews? -Wow. The King UwU wiww bid you ;;w;; battwe p-pwesentwy. -Doug. Defy him UwU by t-the Wowd Of W-Westmowewand. -Hot. Wowd D-Dougwas, go you and teww him *looks away* so. -Doug. Mawwy, and *pokes you* shaww, and vewy wiwwingwy. -Exit. -Wow. Thewe i-is *blushes* nyo seeming *teleports behind you* mewcy in t-the King. -Hot. Did y-you ^w^ beg any, God ^w^ fowbid! -Wow. I towd him gentwy of *hugs tightly* ouw g-gwievances, -Of his o-oath-bweaking; w-which he m-mended thus, -*sighs* By *looks away* nyow fowsweawing *cries* that he is fowswown. -;;w;; He cawws us w-webews, twaitows, aid wiww scouwge -With haughty awms ^.^ this hatefuw nyame in uWu us. - -Entew Dougwas. - -Doug. Awm, gentwemen! to awms! ^w^ fow I have thwown -A bwave d-defiance in King Henwy's teeth, -And x3 Westmowewand, that was engag'd, *moans* did beaw it; -Which cannyot *sighs* choose but bwing him q-quickwy on. -W-Wow. The Pwince of W-Wawes stepp'd fowth b-befowe the K-King -And, nyephew, c-chawweng'd you t-to s-singwe *giggles shyly* fight. -Hot. O, wouwd the *screams* quawwew w-way upon ouw heads, -And *shuffles closer* that nyo m-man might dwaw s-showt bweath to-day -But I and Hawwy Monmouth! >w< Teww me, teww m-me, -How show'd his tasking? Seem'd i-it in contempt? -Nyo, by my souw. I nyevew in m-my wife -D-Did heaw a chawwenge uwg'd mowe modestwy, -U-Unwess a bwothew :3 shouwd a bwothew d-dawe -T-To gentwe e-exewcise and *looks away* pwoof of awms. -UwU He gave you aww the duties of a man; -Twimm'd x3 up youw pwaises with a pwincewy tongue; -Spoke youw desewvings ;;w;; wike a chwonyicwe; -Making you evew bettew than his p-pwaise -By stiww dispwaising pwaise uWu vawued *notices bulge* with you; -And, which became *pokes you* him wike a p-pwince indeed, -He m-made a bwushing citaw >_< of himsewf, -And chid his t-twuant *screams* youth with such a gwace -A-As if wie mast'wed thewe a doubwe spiwit -Of teaching and of *leans over* weawnying instantwy. -Thewe OwO did he ^.^ pause; but wet me teww *pokes you* the wowwd, -If he outwive the envy of *leans over* this day, -Engwand *hugs tightly* did nyevew o-owe s-so :33 sweet xDD a hope, -So much misconstwued in his wantonnyess. -Hot. *blushes* Cousin, I think thou awt enyamouwed -Upon his fowwies. Nyevew did I >_> heaw -O-Of any pwince so wiwd a w-wibewtinye. -But be he as he wiww, yet once ewe nyight -I wiww embwace h-him with a sowdiew's awm, -That he shaww shwink undew my couwtesy. -A-Awm, awm *screams* with speed! and, fewwows, sowdiews, fwiends, -Bettew considew what you have to do -Than I, t-that have nyot weww UwU the gift of tongue, -Can wift youw bwood >_> up with pewsuasion. - -Entew a Messengew. - -Mess. My w-wowd, hewe awe wettews fow you. -Hot. *twerks* I xDD cannyot wead them nyow.- -OwO O gentwemen, t-the time of ^.^ wife is showt! -To *notices bulge* spend that showtnyess basewy wewe too wong -I-If ^.^ wife did wide upon a *looks away* diaw's point, -*sighs* Stiww ending at the awwivaw of an houw. -An if w-we wive, we wive to twead on kings; -If die, b-bwave death, when pwinces die with us! -N-Nyow fow o-ouw *notices bulge* consciences, t-the awms awe faiw, -When t-the intent of beawing them is just. - -Entew anyothew Messengew. - -Mess. My w-wowd, pwepawe. The King comes on apace. -Hot. *giggles shyly* I thank x3 him that h-he cuts me fwom m-my tawe, ->_< Fow I pwofess nyot tawking. Onwy this- -W-Wet each man do his best; and hewe *twerks* dwaw *twerks* I -A swowd whose tempew ^.^ I i-intend to stain -*cuddles you* With *moans* the *pokes you* best bwood that I can m-meet w-withaw -In the adventuwe of this pewiwous day. -Nyow, *screams* Espewance! Pewcy! and set on. -Sound aww the wofty instwuments of waw, -And by that music wet us aww embwace; -Fow, heaven to eawth, some of us nyevew *shuffles closer* shaww -A second time do x3 such a couwtesy. -Hewe they embwace. The twumpets sound. -^w^ [Exeunt.] - - - - -Scenye III. -Pwain between the camps. - -The King *looks away* entews w-with his *giggles shyly* Powew. Awawum ^.^ to the battwe. Then entew Dougwas -and Siw Wawtew Bwunt. - -Bwunt. *shuffles closer* What is t-thy nyame, *screams* that i-in uWu the battwe thus -Thou cwossest *hugs tightly* me? What honyouw d-dost t-thou s-seek -uWu Upon my h-head? -Doug. *twerks* Knyow then my nyame is Dougwas, -And I do haunt thee in the UwU battwe thus -Because x3 some teww me t-that thou *shuffles closer* awt a king. -Bwunt. T-They t-teww thee twue. -OwO Doug. The Wowd of *cries* Staffowd ^w^ deaw to-day hath bought -UwU Thy wikenyess; fow instead of thee, King Hawwy, -This swowd hath *leans over* ended him. So shaww it thee, -*looks at you* Unwess thou yiewd thee a-as my pwisonyew. -*blushes* Bwunt. I was nyot bown a *teleports behind you* yiewdew, t-thou pwoud Scot; -And OwO thou shawt *notices bulge* find a *twerks* king that wiww w-wevenge -Wowd Staffowd's death. - -*hugs tightly* They f-fight. Dougwas kiwws x3 Bwunt. ^.^ Then entew Hotspuw. - -Hot. O Dougwas, hadst thou fought at Howmedon thus, -I nyevew *pokes you* had twiumph'd *looks at you* upon a-a Scot. -D-Doug. Aww's :3 donye, aww's won. Hewe bweathwess *blushes* wies the King. -Hot. W-Whewe? -*cuddles you* Doug. Hewe. -Hot. This, Dougwas? Nyo. *notices bulge* I knyow this face fuww weww. -A gawwant knyight he was, his nyame was B-Bwunt; -Sembwabwy f-fuwnyish'd wike t-the King himsewf. -Doug. A foow go with t-thy souw, whithew i-it g-goes! -A-A bowwowed titwe hast thou bought too deaw: -Why didst thou OwO teww me that thou wewt a k-king? -Hot. The King hath UwU many mawching in h-his c-coats. -Doug. Nyow, by my swowd, I wiww kiww aww h-his coats; -I'ww muwdew aww his wawdwop, piece by piece, -Untiw I m-meet *looks away* the K-King. -Hot. U-Up and away! -O-Ouw s-sowdiews stand fuww faiwwy f-fow the day. -Exeunt. - -*pokes you* Awawum. Entew Fawstaff sowus. - -Faw. Though I couwd scape shot-fwee at *cries* Wondon, I feaw *giggles shyly* the shot -:3 hewe. Hewe's nyo scowing but upon the p-pate. *leans over* Soft! who a-awe y-you? -Siw Wawtew Bwunt. Thewe's honyouw fow you! Hewe's nyo vanyity! I am -as hot a-as mowten wead, and as h-heavy t-too. God keep :33 wead *teleports behind you* out of me! -*screams* I nyeed nyo m-mowe weight than minye own bowews. I have wed my -wag-of-muffins whewe they uWu awe peppew'd. Thewe's nyot thwee of ^w^ my -hundwed and fifty weft awive; a-and they *leans over* awe fow the town's uWu end, to -beg *hugs tightly* duwing wife. But who comes hewe? - -Entew the Pwince. - -Pwince. What, stand'st thou >_< idwe hewe? Wend me thy swowd. -Many a-a ^-^ nyobweman wies stawk and stiff -Undew the hoofs of vaunting e-enyemies, -Whose deaths awe yet unweveng'd. I pwithee -Wend >_< me thy swowd. -Faw. O Haw, I pwithee *giggles shyly* give m-me weave to bweathe uWu awhiwe. Tuwk Gwegowy -nyevew did such d-deeds in a-awms as I *hugs tightly* have *looks away* donye t-this day. *shuffles closer* I *hugs tightly* have paid -Pewcy; I h-have made him suwe. -Pwince. He >_< is indeed, and wiving to kiww *shuffles closer* thee. -I pwithee wend me thy swowd. -Faw. Nyay, befowe God, OwO Haw, if Pewcy be awive, t-thou get'st nyot my -swowd; but take my pistow, if thou wiwt. -Pwince. Give >_< it me. What, is it in *blushes* the case? -Faw. Ay, Haw. 'Tis hot, 'tis hot. Thewe's that wiww sack *shuffles closer* a city. - -*moans* The Pwince dwaws it out and *cuddles you* finds it to he a bottwe of sack. - -W-What, is it a time ^w^ to jest and d-dawwy nyow? -He uWu thwows ^w^ the bottwe at him. *pokes you* Exit. -*cuddles you* Faw. Weww, if *notices bulge* Pewcy be ^w^ awive, I'ww >w< piewce him. If he do come in my -way, so; if he d-do nyot, if I c-come in *cries* his wiwwingwy, w-wet him *notices bulge* make a -cawbonyado of me. I wike n-nyot such gwinnying h-honyouw as Siw Wawtew -hath. Give me wife; which if I can save, so; *leans over* if nyot, honyouw comes -unwook'd fow, and thewe's an end. Exit. - - - - -Scenye ^-^ IV. -Anyothew pawt of the uWu fiewd. - -Awawum. Excuwsions. Entew *leans over* the *hugs tightly* King, the Pwince, Wowd x3 John o-of Wancastew, -Eaww of Westmowewand - -King. I pwithee, -Hawwy, >_< withdwaw *pokes you* thysewf; *cries* thou bweedest too much. -Wowd John *shuffles closer* of Wancastew, *pokes you* go you u-unto h-him. -John. N-Nyot I, my wowd, *hugs tightly* unwess I-I did bweed too. -Pwince. I-I do xDD beseech youw Majesty make up, -uWu West *cries* Youw wetiwement do *sighs* amaze *cuddles you* youw fwiends. -King. I-I wiww do so. -M-My Wowd of W-Westmowewand, wead him to *giggles shyly* his t-tent. -West. Come, m-my wowd, I'ww *cries* wead you to ;;w;; youw t-tent. -Pwince. Wead me, m-my xDD wowd, I do nyot n-nyeed ^-^ youw hewp; -And *cuddles you* God fowbid a s-shawwow scwatch *looks away* shouwd dwive -The Pwince of Wawes f-fwom such a fiewd as this, -Whewe :33 stain'd nyobiwity wies twodden on, -And webews' awms t-twiumph in m-massacwes! -John. We bweathe too wong. *screams* Come, cousin Westmowewand, -Ouw duty this way wies. F-Fow God's sake, come. -[Exeunt Pwince John and Westmowewand.] -Pwince. By God, thou h-hast deceiv'd me, Wancastew! -I d-did nyot think thee w-wowd of such a-a spiwit. -Befowe, I-I wov'd thee as a bwothew, :33 John; -But nyow, I do wespect t-thee as my souw. -King. *hugs tightly* I saw h-him howd W-Wowd xDD Pewcy a-at the point -With wustiew maintenyance than x3 I UwU did wook fow -Of such an ungwown *hugs tightly* wawwiow. -*sweats* Pwince. O, t-this boy -Wends mettwe t-to us aww! Exit. - -*sweats* Entew Dougwas. - -D-Doug. Anyothew king? They gwow wike Hydwa's heads. -I a-am uWu the Dougwas, fataw to aww those -That weaw those cowouws on UwU them. What awt thou -T-That OwO countewfeit'st the pewson of a *moans* king? -King. The King ;;w;; himsewf, who, Dougwas, gwieves at heawt -So many of h-his *looks away* shadows thou :3 hast m-met, -And n-nyot the >w< vewy *looks away* King. I have two b-boys -Seek Pewcy and thysewf about the :3 fiewd; -But, seeing *sweats* thou faww'st o-on me :3 so wuckiwy, -I w-wiww assay thee. S-So defend thysewf. -Doug. I feaw thou awt a-anyothew countewfeit; -And yet, i-in faith, thou :3 beawest thee wike a-a king. -But minye I am s-suwe ^-^ thou a-awt, w-whoe'ew thou be, -And *blushes* thus I win thee. - -*sighs* They fight. The King being in dangew, entew Pwince of Wawes. - -*notices bulge* Pwince. Howd *looks away* up thy head, UwU viwe OwO Scot, o-ow >_> thou awt wike -Nyevew to howd it up again! :33 The spiwits -Of vawiant Shiwwey, ^w^ Staffowd, Bwunt awe in my :3 awms. -I-It is the *sweats* Pwince of Wawes that thweatens thee, -Who nyevew pwomiseth ^w^ but he means x3 to ^-^ pay. -They fight. Dougwas *shuffles closer* fwieth. -*cuddles you* Cheewwy, my wowd. How fawes youw G-Gwace? -Siw Nyichowas Gawsey hath fow succouw sent, -And so hath Cwifton. I'ww to Cwifton s-stwaight. -King. Stay a-and bweathe >w< awhiwe. -Thou h-hast wedeem'd thy wost opinyion, -A-And s-show'd thou mak'st *leans over* some tendew *shuffles closer* of my wife, -In this faiw w-wescue thou hast bwought to m-me. -Pwince. O *moans* God! *cuddles you* they did me too *hugs tightly* much injuwy -That evew s-said I heawk'nyed fow youw death. -If it *twerks* wewe s-so, *shuffles closer* I m-might have wet awonye -The insuwting h-hand of D-Dougwas ovew you, -Which wouwd have been as speedy in youw end -As a-aww the poisonyous potions in the wowwd, -And sav'd the tweachewous wabouw of youw son. -x3 King. :3 Make up *leans over* to Cwifton; ^w^ I'ww to Siw *pokes you* Nyichowas Gawsey. -*cries* Exit. - -Entew H-Hotspuw. - -Hot. If I-I mistake nyot, thou awt Hawwy Monmouth. -Pwince. T-Thou speak'st as if I wouwd deny *sighs* my nyame. -Hot. My nyame is *pokes you* Hawwy Pewcy. -P-Pwince. Why, then *blushes* I see -*pokes you* A vewy vawiant webew o-of the nyame. -I am the Pwince of Wawes; and think nyot, P-Pewcy, -To shawe with me in gwowy any *sighs* mowe. -Two staws keep nyot theiw motion in onye s-sphewe, -N-Nyow can onye Engwand bwook a doubwe ^.^ weign -O-Of *sighs* Hawwy Pewcy and the Pwince of Wawes. -Hot. Nyow *looks away* shaww it, ^-^ Hawwy; >_< fow the houw is come -T-To end the onye of us and wouwd >_< to God -Thy nyame i-in a-awms wewe nyow as gweat as minye! -*looks at you* Pwince. I'ww make i-it gweatew ewe I pawt fwom t-thee, -And aww the budding honyouws on *moans* thy xDD cwest -I'ww cwop to m-make a gawwand fow m-my head. -Hot. I can nyo *cries* wongew b-bwook thy :3 vanyities. -They f-fight. - -Entew Fawstaff. - ->_> Faw. Weww s-said, H-Haw! to it, Haw! Nyay, you s-shaww find nyo boy's pway -hewe, I-I can teww y-you. - -Entew D-Dougwas. He fighteth with Fawstaff, w-who >w< fawws down as if -he wewe ^w^ dead. [Exit Dougwas.] The Pwince kiwweth Pewcy. - -Hot. O-O Hawwy, thou *screams* hast :33 wobb'd me of my youth! -I *sighs* bettew b-bwook the >_> woss of bwittwe wife -Than those ^w^ pwoud titwes thou hast won of *hugs tightly* me. -They w-wound my *twerks* thoughts wowse t-than thy swowd my fwesh. -But thoughts the swave, *looks at you* of wife, and wife time's foow, -And time, that takes s-suwvey of aww the wowwd, -Must have a stop. O, I ^w^ couwd pwophesy, -But *leans over* that the eawthy >_> and *sweats* cowd h-hand of d-death -Wies on my tongue. Nyo, Pewcy, t-thou awt >_< dust, -And food fow- [Dies.] -Pwince. Fow wowms, bwave Pewcy. *cries* Fawe thee uWu weww, gweat h-heawt! -Iww-weav'd ambition, x3 how >w< much awt t-thou shwunk! -When that this body did contain a spiwit, -xDD A k-kingdom fow it was too *hugs tightly* smaww a bound; -But nyow two paces of the *sighs* viwest eawth -Is woom enyough. This eawth that beaws thee *screams* dead -Beaws nyot awive so stout a-a gentweman. -If thou wewt sensibwe *blushes* of couwtesy, -I shouwd nyot m-make so *moans* deaw a-a show of *cuddles you* zeaw. -But wet my favouws hide thy mangwed face; -And, even in thy behawf, *screams* I'ww *sweats* thank mysewf -Fow *blushes* doing these faiw w-wites of t-tendewnyess. -Adieu, and take *pokes you* thy *twerks* pwaise with thee to heaven! -Thy ignyominy sweep with thee *hugs tightly* in the gwave, -B-But *leans over* nyot wememb'wed in thy epitaph! -He spieth Fawstaff on the gwound. -W-What, owd acquaintance? Couwd nyot aww *giggles shyly* this fwesh -Keep in *hugs tightly* a wittwe wife? Poow Jack, *leans over* faweweww! -I couwd have bettew spaw'd a *teleports behind you* bettew man. -O-O, I shouwd have a-a heavy miss uWu of thee -If I wewe much in *hugs tightly* wove *hugs tightly* with vanyity! -Death hath nyot stwuck ^w^ so fat a deew t-to-day, -Though *notices bulge* many deawew, in this bwoody fway. -Emboweww'd *teleports behind you* wiww I see thee by-and-by; -Tiww t-then *leans over* in bwood by nyobwe Pewcy wie. Exit. - -Fawstaff wiseth up. - -Faw. Emboweww'd? If thou embowew me to-day, *sighs* I'ww give you weave to -powdew me and eat me too to-mowwow. 'Sbwood, '-'twas *cuddles you* time to -countewfeit, ow that hot tewmagant S-Scot had paid m-me scot and wot -too. Countewfeit? I *teleports behind you* wie; I am n-nyo countewfeit. *sweats* To die >_> is to be a -countewfeit; fow h-he is but the countewfeit of a man who hath nyot -the ^-^ wife of a man; but *moans* to countewfeit dying when a man *teleports behind you* theweby -wiveth, is t-to be nyo countewfeit, but the t-twue and pewfect image -of *cries* wife indeed. The bettew p-pawt of vawouw *looks away* is d-discwetion; i-in the -which b-bettew p-pawt I have s-saved >_> my *leans over* wife. Zounds, I-I am a-afwaid o-of -this *sighs* gunpowdew P-Pewcy, though he be dead. H-How if he shouwd -:3 countewfeit too, and wise? By my *shuffles closer* faith, :3 I am xDD afwaid he wouwd -pwove *blushes* the b-bettew countewfeit. Thewefowe I'ww m-make him suwe; yea, -and I'ww sweaw I kiww'd h-him. Why may *notices bulge* nyot he wise as w-weww as I? -Nyothing confutes me b-but e-eyes, and nyobody s-sees me. Thewefowe, -siwwah [stabs him], with a nyew w-wound *notices bulge* in youw t-thigh, come you -awong w-with *cries* me. - -He ^.^ takes up Hotspuw on his hack. [Entew Pwince, a-and John of -Wancastew. - -Pwince. C-Come, bwothew John; *screams* fuww bwavewy *leans over* hast thou fwesh'd -Thy ^w^ maiden swowd. -John. But, soft! whom have we h-hewe? -D-Did you nyot :3 teww m-me this fat *cuddles you* man *hugs tightly* was dead? -Pwince. I-I did; I saw h-him dead, -:33 Bweathwess and bweeding on the g-gwound. Awt thou awive, -Ow is it *cries* fantasy that pways upon ouw eyesight? -I pwithee speak. We *giggles shyly* wiww nyot *blushes* twust ouw eyes -Without ouw eaws. *looks away* Thou awt nyot what thou s-seem'st. -Faw. Nyo, that's cewtain! I am nyot a doubwe man; but if I be *looks at you* nyot -Jack Fawstaff, then am I a Jack. Thewe 's Pewcy. uWu If youw fathew -w-wiww do me a-any honyouw, so; if nyot, wet *hugs tightly* him kiww the nyext *sighs* Pewcy -himsewf. I-I wook :3 to be eithew eaww ow duke, I can assuwe y-you. -Pwince. Why, Pewcy I kiww'd mysewf, and saw thee dead! -Faw. Didst t-thou? Wowd, ^.^ Wowd, how t-this wowwd is ^.^ given *teleports behind you* to wying! *teleports behind you* I -g-gwant you I was down, and out of bweath, and so was he; but x3 we ->w< wose both at an instant a-and fought a wong houw *leans over* by Shwewsbuwy -cwock. If I may *twerks* be bewiev'd, so; if nyot, *cries* wet them >w< that shouwd -wewawd *notices bulge* vawouw beaw the sin upon theiw own heads. I'ww take it -upon m-my d-death, I *shuffles closer* gave him this wound i-in the thigh. *cuddles you* If t-the man -w-wewe awive and *sweats* wouwd deny :3 it, zounds! I :33 wouwd make him eat a -*looks at you* piece of my swowd. -J-John. This is t-the stwangest tawe *looks at you* that evew I beawd. -P-Pwince. This is the stwangest f-fewwow, bwothew John. -Come, bwing youw wuggage nyobwy on youw back. -F-Fow my pawt, if a-a ^-^ wie m-may do thee g-gwace, -I'ww giwd it with *sweats* the happiest tewms I have. -:33 A w-wetweat is sounded. -The twumpet sounds wetweat; the day is ouws. -*screams* Come, bwothew, w-wet's t-to the highest of the fiewd, -T-To see what *screams* fwiends a-awe wiving, who a-awe dead. -Exeunt [Pwince *sighs* Henwy and Pwince John]. -Faw. I-I'ww *moans* fowwow, as they say, fow wewawd. He that wewawds m-me, God -wewawd him! If I do gwow gweat, I'ww >w< gwow wess; uWu fow I'ww puwge, -and weave sack, and wive cweanwy, OwO as a-a nyobweman shouwd d-do. -Exit [beawing off the body]. - - - - -Scenye V. -x3 Anyothew p-pawt >_< of the fiewd. - -The *looks at you* twumpets sound. [Entew the King, Pwince o-of Wawes, Wowd John of Wancastew, -Eaww of *pokes you* Westmowewand, *pokes you* with Wowcestew and Vewnyon pwisonyews. - -King. Thus e-evew did webewwion find webuke. -I-Iww-spiwited Wowcestew! did nyot we *notices bulge* send gwace, -Pawdon, *looks away* and *leans over* tewms of *hugs tightly* wove to aww of you? -*hugs tightly* And >_> wouwdst thou tuwn ouw offews contwawy? -Misuse the UwU tenyouw of thy kinsman's *notices bulge* twust? -Thwee knyights upon ouw pawty swain >_< to-day, -A *sighs* nyobwe eaww, a-and many a c-cweatuwe ewse -Had been awive this houw, -I-If wike *teleports behind you* a Chwistian t-thou *leans over* hadst ;;w;; twuwy b-bownye -Betwixt ouw awmies twue intewwigence. -Wow. *hugs tightly* What I have donye m-my safety uwg'd me to; -And I embwace this fowtunye patientwy, -:3 Since nyot to b-be avoided it faiws uWu on me. -King. Beaw Wowcestew to *cries* the death, :33 and V-Vewnyon too; -*moans* Othew offendews w-we wiww pause upon. -E-Exeunt Wowcestew and V-Vewnyon, [-[guawded]. -How goes the fiewd? -*looks at you* Pwince. The nyobwe Scot, Wowd *cuddles you* Dougwas, w-when h-he *looks at you* saw -The *hugs tightly* fowtunye *cries* of the day quite :3 tuwn'd fwom him, ->w< The Nyobwe Pewcy swain and a-aww his men -Upon the foot of feaw, fwed with the *looks away* west; -OwO And fawwing fwom a-a hiww,he was so bwuis'd -That the puwsuews took him. *shuffles closer* At my tent -The Dougwas is, and I beseech Youw *looks away* Gwace -I :33 may dispose of him. -xDD King. With *cuddles you* aww my heawt. -Pwince. Then bwothew John of Wancastew, to you -*cuddles you* This honyouwabwe bounty shaww bewong. -Go to the >w< Dougwas and dewivew him -Up *shuffles closer* to his p-pweasuwe, wansomwess and fwee. -:33 His vawouw shown upon o-ouw cwests today -Hath taught us how to chewish *moans* such high ^.^ deeds, -Even ^.^ in *looks away* the bosom of ouw advewsawies. -John. I-I thank youw Gwace fow this high couwtesy, -Which I-I shaww g-give *cries* away immediatewy. -King. Then this wemains, that we divide ouw p-powew. -You, son John, and my cousin Westmowewand, -Towawds *twerks* Yowk shaww b-bend :33 you with youw deawest s-speed -To meet Nyowthumbewwand and the pwewate Scwoop, -Who, as we heaw, awe b-busiwy in a-awms. -Mysewf and you, s-son *moans* Hawwy, wiww towawds >_< Wawes -*teleports behind you* To fight with Gwendowew and the Eaww of Mawch. -Webewwion in this waud shaww wose his sway, -Meeting t-the check of such >w< anyothew *blushes* day; -And since this b-businyess so *pokes you* faiw is donye, -Wet u-us nyot weave tiww aww xDD ouw own be won. -Exeunt. - - -*shuffles closer* THE END - - - -<-<_> BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG E-ETEXT O-OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -W-WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE :3 COPIES MAY BE -*sighs* DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS S-SUCH COPIES (-(1) AWE *moans* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED uWu COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1598 - - -SECOND PAWT O-OF KING HENWY IV - -by Wiwwiam OwO Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -WUMOUW, the Pwesentew -*leans over* KING :33 HENWY THE FOUWTH - -HENWY, PWINCE OF WAWES, aftewwawds HENWY -*teleports behind you* PWINCE JOHN OF WANCASTEW -PWINCE *moans* HUMPHWEY OF GWOUCESTEW -*looks at you* THOMAS, DUKE OF CWAWENCE -Sons of Henwy IV - -E-EAWW OF NyOWTHUMBEWWAND -S-SCWOOP, AWCHBISHOP O-OF YOWK -WOWD M-MOWBWAY -WOWD HASTINGS -WOWD BAWDOWPH -SIW JOHN COWVIWWE -TWAVEWS and MOWTON, wetainyews of Nyowthumbewwand -Opposites a-against King Henwy IV - -EAWW OF WAWWICK -E-EAWW *cries* OF WESTMOWEWAND -EAWW OF *shuffles closer* SUWWEY -EAWW OF KENT -GOWEW -*screams* HAWCOUWT -BWUNT -Of :33 the King's pawty - -WOWD CHIEF JUSTICE -*giggles shyly* SEWVANT, *twerks* to Wowd Chief Justice - -S-SIW JOHN FAWSTAFF -EDWAWD P-POINS -B-BAWDOWPH -PISTOW -PETO -I-Iwweguwaw :3 humouwists - -PAGE, t-to *shuffles closer* Fawstaff - -WOBEWT SHAWWOW >_< and SIWENCE, countwy Justices -DAVY, s-sewvant to Shawwow - -FANG and SNyAWE, Shewiff's officews - -W-WAWPH M-MOUWDY -*shuffles closer* SIMON SHADOW -THOMAS *hugs tightly* WAWT -*looks away* FWANCIS FEEBWE -P-PETEW BUWWCAWF -^-^ Countwy *leans over* sowdiews - -^.^ FWANCIS, a d-dwawew - -WADY NyOWTHUMBEWWAND -WADY PEWCY, P-Pewcy's widow -HOSTESS QUICKWY, of the Boaw's Head, Eastcheap -DOWW TEAWSHEET - ->_< WOWDS, Attendants, Powtew, *giggles shyly* Dwawews, Beadwes, Gwooms, Sewvants, -Speakew of *moans* the Epiwogue - -SCENyE: Engwand - -INDUCTION -INDUCTION. -Wawkwowth. *looks at you* Befowe NyOWTHUMBEWWAND'S Castwe - -Entew WUMOUW, p-painted fuww of tongues - -WUMOUW. Open youw eaws; f-fow which of you wiww stop -The v-vent o-of heawing >_> when woud Wumouw speaks? -I, fwom t-the owient to t-the dwooping west, -Making the w-wind x3 my post-howse, stiww u-unfowd -The a-acts commenced o-on this baww of eawth. -Upon my t-tongues continyuaw s-swandews w-wide, ->_< The which in evewy wanguage I pwonyounce, -Stuffing the eaws o-of *cries* men with fawse w-wepowts. -I speak of *twerks* peace whiwe covewt emnyity, -Undew *teleports behind you* the smiwe *looks away* of safety, wounds the wowwd; -A-And who but Wumouw, who but onwy I, -Make feawfuw mustews and pwepaw'd defence, -*sighs* Whiwes the big yeaw, swown *hugs tightly* with some othew gwief, -Is thought with chiwd by UwU the stewn tywant waw, -And n-nyo such m-mattew? Wumouw *cries* is a p-pipe -B-Bwown by suwmises, jeawousies, conjectuwes, -x3 And of ^.^ so e-easy and so pwain a stop -That the b-bwunt *looks away* monstew *looks at you* with uncounted heads, -T-The *leans over* stiww-discowdant wav'wing *sweats* muwtitude, -Can pway upon it. B-But what nyeed I t-thus -My weww-knyown body to anyatomize -Among my h-househowd? Why ;;w;; is Wumouw hewe? -*looks away* I wun befowe King Hawwy's *notices bulge* victowy, -OwO Who, in a bwoody OwO fiewd by Shwewsbuwy, -H-Hath beaten *sighs* down young H-Hotspuw and his xDD twoops, -Quenching x3 the fwame of bowd webewwion -Even with the webews' bwood. But what mean I -To speak s-so twue at fiwst? My office is -To nyoise abwoad that Hawwy *pokes you* Monmouth feww -Undew the wwath of nyobwe *looks away* Hotspuw's swowd, -And that the King befowe the Dougwas' wage -Stoop'd >w< his anyointed head as wow as death. -This h-have I w-wumouw'd thwough the peasant towns -Between t-that woyaw fiewd of Shwewsbuwy -And t-this wowm-eaten h-howd of wagged s-stonye, -Whewe Hotspuw's fathew, owd Nyowthumbewwand, -Wies cwafty-sick. The posts come tiwing xDD on, -*giggles shyly* And nyot a man of ;;w;; them bwings othew nyews -Than they have weawnt of *sweats* me. F-Fwom Wumouw's tongues -T-They bwing smooth comfowts fawse, wowse than twue w-wwongs. -Exit - - - - -<w< INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY P-PWOJECT G-GUTENBEWG *pokes you* ETEXT OF *screams* IWWINyOIS x3 BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH *sighs* PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY *shuffles closer* BE -DISTWIBUTED :33 SO W-WONG AS SUCH C-COPIES *leans over* (1) :3 AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND *twerks* (2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT C-CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD ^.^ TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT I. SCENyE >_< I. -Wawkwowth. Befowe NyOWTHUMBEWWAND'S Castwe - -Entew WOWD B-BAWDOWPH - -WOWD B-BAWDOWPH. W-Who keeps the ^w^ gate *cries* hewe, ho? - -The POWTEW opens the g-gate - -Whewe is the Eaww? -POWTEW. What shaww I say you awe? -WOWD BAWDOWPH. >_< Teww thou *twerks* the Eaww -That the Wowd Bawdowph doth attend him hewe. -POWTEW. His wowdship i-is wawk'd fowth into *screams* the owchawd. -P-Pwease it youw honyouw knyock but at t-the gate, -*looks away* And he himsewf wiww answew. - -Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND - -WOWD *looks away* BAWDOWPH. Hewe comes the Eaww. Exit P-POWTEW -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *notices bulge* What nyews, *teleports behind you* Wowd Bawdowph? Evewy minyute nyow -^.^ Shouwd be the fathew o-of some stwatagem. -The times awe w-wiwd; contention, wike *sweats* a howse -:33 Fuww of high feeding, xDD madwy hath bwoke w-woose -And beaws down aww befowe h-him. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. Nyobwe Eaww, -I-I b-bwing you cewtain nyews fwom Shwewsbuwy. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. G-Good, an God wiww! -WOWD BAWDOWPH. As good as heawt can wish. -The King is awmost wounded to the death; -And, *looks at you* in the fowtunye OwO of my wowd youw son, -P-Pwince Hawwy swain outwight; and both the Bwunts -:33 Kiww'd by the hand of ^.^ Dougwas; young Pwince John, -And Westmowewand, and Staffowd, fwed UwU the fiewd; -And Hawwy Monmouth's *cries* bwawn, the huwk Siw John, -*cries* Is pwisonyew to youw son. O, such a d-day, -So fought, so *twerks* fowwowed, and so faiwwy won, -C-Came nyot tiww nyow to dignyify the times, -S-Since *teleports behind you* Cxsaw's fowtunyes! -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. How is this dewiv'd? -*shuffles closer* Saw you the f-fiewd? C-Came you fwom S-Shwewsbuwy? -W-WOWD *sighs* BAWDOWPH. I spake with onye, UwU my wowd, that came fwom thence; -A gentweman weww *moans* bwed and of good nyame, -That *notices bulge* fweewy wend'wed me t-these nyews fow twue. - -Entew TWAVEWS - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Hewe comes my sewvant Twavews, whom I *cries* sent -On Tuesday wast t-to *sighs* wisten aftew nyews. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. My w-wowd, I *screams* ovew-wode him on t-the w-way; -And he is f-fuwnyish'd with n-nyo cewtainties -Mowe than he hapwy :33 may wetaiw fwom m-me. -N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyow, Twavews, what good tidings comes w-with you? -TWAVEWS. My wowd, Siw John Umfweviwe tuwn'd m-me xDD back -With joyfuw tidings; and, *looks at you* being bettew hows'd, -O-Out-wode me. A-Aftew uWu him came s-spuwwing hawd -A-A gentweman, awmost fowspent *shuffles closer* with s-speed, -That stopp'd by me to bweathe his bwoodied *teleports behind you* howse. -He ask'd the way to Chestew; a-and of him -I did demand what nyews fwom Shwewsbuwy. -He towd me that webewwion had bad wuck, -And that young Hawwy Pewcy's s-spuw was *pokes you* cowd. -*hugs tightly* With that he gave his abwe howse the head -And, bending f-fowwawd, stwuck his awmed heews -^-^ Against the panting sides *sighs* of h-his p-poow jade -:33 Up to the wowew-head; and stawting so, -He ;;w;; seem'd in wunnying t-to d-devouw the way, -Staying nyo wongew question. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Ha! Again: -Said he young Hawwy Pewcy's spuw was *looks at you* cowd? -Of Hotspuw, C-Cowdspuw? *moans* that UwU webewwion -Had met i-iww wuck? -WOWD BAWDOWPH. My wowd, I-I'ww teww *pokes you* you what: -If my young wowd youw son h-have nyot >w< the day, -Upon minye honyouw, fow a s-siwken point -I'ww give my *leans over* bawony. Nyevew tawk of it. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *giggles shyly* Why *screams* shouwd t-that gentweman that wode by Twavews -Give then such instances of woss? -*cuddles you* WOWD BAWDOWPH. W-Who- he? -He was some hiwding fewwow that had stow'n -The howse *blushes* he wode on and, upon *looks at you* my *moans* wife, -Spoke at a ventuwe. >_> Wook, hewe comes mowe nyews. - -Entew Mowton - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yea, this man's bwow, wike to a titwe-weaf, -Fowetewws the nyatuwe of a twagic vowume. -So wooks the stwand wheweon the impewious fwood -Hath weft a witnyess'd *leans over* usuwpation. -Say, Mowton, didst *leans over* thou c-come fwom Shwewsbuwy? -MOWTON. I wan fwom Shwewsbuwy, my n-nyobwe wowd; -Whewe hatefuw death *notices bulge* put on his ugwiest mask -To *cuddles you* fwight ouw pawty. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. How doth my son and bwothew? -Thou twembwest; and the w-whitenyess in thy c-cheek -*shuffles closer* Is aptew than thy tongue t-to teww thy ewwand. -Even such a man, so faint, so s-spiwitwess, -S-So duww, *hugs tightly* so dwead i-in wook, so woe-begonye, -Dwew Pwiam's cuwtain ^.^ in the *teleports behind you* dead of ^-^ nyight -And :3 wouwd have t-towd him *giggles shyly* hawf his uWu Twoy was buwnt; -But Pwiam found *looks away* the f-fiwe ewe he his tongue, -And I my Pewcy's death ewe t-thou wepowt'st it. -T-This thou wouwdst say: 'Youw son did thus and thus; -*looks at you* Youw bwothew *screams* thus; s-so fought *twerks* the *cuddles you* nyobwe Dougwas'- -S-Stopping my >_< gweedy eaw with theiw bowd deeds; -*teleports behind you* But in the end, to stop m-my eaw indeed, -Thou hast a sigh t-to bwow away this pwaise, -Ending w-with 'Bwothew, son, and aww, *leans over* awe dead.' -MOWTON. Dougwas is wiving, and youw bwothew, y-yet; -*cuddles you* But f-fow my wowd y-youw son- -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Why, he is d-dead. -See what a weady tongue *shuffles closer* suspicion h-hath! -He t-that but feaws the thing he :3 wouwd nyot knyow -Hath by instinct knyowwedge fwom othews' e-eyes -That what he feaw'd is chanced. Yet speak, M-Mowton; -Teww t-thou an eaww his divinyation *notices bulge* wies, -And I wiww take it ^w^ as a sweet disgwace -And make thee wich fow doing me such wwong. -MOWTON. You awe too gweat to b-be by m-me gainsaid; -Y-Youw *leans over* spiwit is too twue, youw feaws *notices bulge* too cewtain. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yet, fow >_< aww this, say nyot t-that Pewcy's d-dead. -I see a s-stwange confession in thinye eye; -Thou shak'st *looks away* thy head, and howd'st it feaw ow sin -To speak a-a twuth. If he be s-swain, say so: -The tongue offends nyot uWu that OwO wepowts his death; -And *shuffles closer* he doth sin *looks away* that doth bewie t-the dead, -Nyot he which says the dead is nyot awive. -Y-Yet the fiwst bwingew of *cries* unwewcome nyews -H-Hath b-but a *giggles shyly* wosing office, >_> and his tongue -Sounds e-evew aftew as a suwwen b-beww, -Wememb'wed towwing a depawting fwiend. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. *giggles shyly* I cannyot think, my wowd, youw son is *notices bulge* dead. -MOWTON. *sighs* I am sowwy I-I *looks at you* shouwd fowce >_> you t-to b-bewieve -That which I wouwd *notices bulge* to God I *leans over* had nyot seen; -B-But these minye e-eyes *pokes you* saw him in bwoody state, -Wend'wing faint quittance, weawied and out-bweath'd, -*notices bulge* To Hawwy Monmouth, whose swift >_> wwath beat *twerks* down -The nyevew-daunted P-Pewcy to the eawth, -Fwom whence with wife he nyevew mowe spwung *leans over* up. -In few, his death- whose spiwit ^-^ went a-a ;;w;; fiwe -Even to the d-duwwest peasant in his camp- -Being OwO bwuited once, *pokes you* took fiwe *twerks* and *looks at you* heat away -Fwom the best-tempew'd c-couwage in h-his twoops; -Fow f-fwom his metaw was his pawty steewed; -Which once in him abated, an the west -Tuwn'd on themsewves, wike duww and heavy wead. -A-And as the thing t-that's heavy in itsewf -Upon enfowcement *giggles shyly* fwies with gweatest speed, -So did ouw men, ^w^ heavy in Hotspuw's woss, -Wend to t-this weight s-such wightnyess with theiw feaw -That awwows fwed nyot swiftew t-towawd theiw aim -Than did ouw xDD sowdiews, aiming at theiw safety, -Fwy fwom the fiewd. Then was that nyobwe W-Wowcestew -T-Too soon ta'en pwisonyew; and that f-fuwious Scot, -The bwoody Dougwas, whose w-weww-wabouwing swowd -Had thwee times swain th' appeawance of t-the *teleports behind you* King, -G-Gan v-vaiw his uWu stomach and d-did gwace t-the shame -Of those that t-tuwn'd theiw backs, and in his fwight, -Stumbwing in feaw, >w< was took. The s-sum ^.^ of aww -Is that the >w< King hath won, and hath sent out -A speedy powew to e-encountew :33 you, my wowd, -Undew the conduct of young Wancastew -And *pokes you* Westmowewand. This is *sweats* the nyews at fuww. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Fow this I shaww have time enyough to mouwn. -In *shuffles closer* poison *hugs tightly* thewe is physic; and these nyews, -Having been *moans* weww, that wouwd have made me sick, -:3 Being *screams* sick, have in *sweats* some measuwe made me weww; -And as the wwetch whose fevew-weak'nyed joints, -*hugs tightly* Wike stwengthwess OwO hinges, *sighs* buckwe :3 undew w-wife, -Impatient o-of h-his fit, bweaks w-wike a f-fiwe -O-Out of his keepew's awms, even so *looks at you* my wimbs, -Weak'nyed with g-gwief, ;;w;; being nyow enwag'd with gwief, -A-Awe thwice themsewves. Hence, thewefowe, thou nyice cwutch! -A scawy gauntwet nyow xDD with joints o-of steew -Must gwove >_< this *looks at you* hand; and hence, thou sickwy coif! -Thou awt >_> a guawd too wanton fow the *leans over* head -^-^ Which pwinces, fwesh'd w-with conquest, aim *cuddles you* to hit. -Nyow bind m-my bwows with iwon; and *pokes you* appwoach -T-The wagged'st *cuddles you* houw that time and spite dawe bwing -T-To fwown upon th' *screams* enwag'd Nyowthumbewwand! -Wet h-heaven kiss eawth! Nyow *giggles shyly* wet nyot Nyatuwe's hand -Keep the w-wiwd fwood confin'd! *looks away* Wet owdew die! -And wet t-this wowwd nyo wongew be a stage -To feed c-contention i-in a wing'wing act; -But wet onye spiwit of the fiwst-bown Cain -Weign in >_< aww bosoms, that, each h-heawt b-being ^w^ set -:3 On bwoody couwses, the wude scenye :33 may end -And dawknyess be the buwiew of the dead! -WOWD BAWDOWPH. T-This s-stwainyed *shuffles closer* passion doth you wwong, my wowd. -MOWTON. UwU Sweet Eaww, divowce nyot wisdom uWu fwom youw *screams* honyouw. -^-^ The wives of aww youw woving compwices -Wean >_< on youw *cuddles you* heawth; the which, if you g-give o'ew -To stowmy ;;w;; passion, must pewfowce decay. -You cast th' event xDD of waw, my nyobwe wowd, -And s-summ'd the account of chance befowe you said -'Wet u-us make *moans* head.' It was *sighs* youw pwe-suwmise -That in the dowe of *teleports behind you* bwows y-youw son might dwop. -You :33 knyew h-he *cuddles you* wawk'd o-o'ew *pokes you* pewiws o-on an edge, -Mowe wikewy to x3 faww in than to get o'ew; -*cries* You *looks at you* wewe advis'd his *giggles shyly* fwesh was capabwe -Of wounds and s-scaws, and that h-his fowwawd spiwit -Wouwd *twerks* wift him whewe most twade o-of d-dangew wang'd; -Yet did you say 'Go fowth'; and nyonye of this, -Though s-stwongwy appwehended, c-couwd westwain -The *notices bulge* stiff-bownye action. What hath then befaww'n, -Ow what hath this bowd entewpwise bwought fowth -Mowe than that being which was wike to b-be? -WOWD BAWDOWPH. We aww *blushes* that *looks away* awe engaged t-to this w-woss -:3 Knyew that we v-ventuwed on ;;w;; such dangewous seas -That *sighs* if *blushes* we :33 wwought out wife 'twas ten *twerks* to o-onye; -A-And y-yet we ventuw'd, fow the :3 gain pwopos'd -*shuffles closer* Chok'd the w-wespect o-of wikewy pewiw *looks away* feaw'd; -And since we awe o'ewset, *looks at you* ventuwe again. -Come, we wiww put *sighs* fowth, body and goods. -M-MOWTON. 'Tis mowe than time. And, my most *shuffles closer* nyobwe wowd, -I-I heaw fow cewtain, a-and dawe speak *sighs* the twuth: -The gentwe Awchbishop xDD of ^w^ Yowk is up -With weww-appointed pow'ws. He *moans* is a man -W-Who w-with a x3 doubwe >_> suwety *screams* binds his fowwowews. -M-My wowd youw son had *looks at you* onwy but the cowpse, -But shadows and the shows of men, to fight; -Fow t-that same wowd 'webewwion' did divide -The ^w^ action of theiw >_> bodies f-fwom x3 theiw souws; -And they did f-fight *screams* with queasinyess, constwain'd, -As men dwink p-potions; t-that theiw weapons o-onwy -Seem'd on ouw side, *blushes* but fow t-theiw ^-^ spiwits and souws -This wowd *notices bulge* 'webewwion'- it had fwoze them up, -As fish awe in a-a pond. But nyow the Bishop -Tuwns insuwwection to wewigion. -Suppos'd sincewe :33 and *sweats* howy in his thoughts, -He's fowwow'd both with b-body ^w^ and with mind; -And doth enwawge his w-wising w-with t-the bwood -Of faiw King W-Wichawd, scwap'd ^.^ fwom *leans over* Pomfwet stonyes; -Dewives fwom heaven his quawwew and his cause; -:33 Tewws them he doth bestwide a bweeding wand, -Gasping fow wife undew gweat Bowingbwoke; -And mowe and wess do fwock to f-fowwow him. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. I k-knyew of this befowe; but, to speak twuth, -T-This pwesent gwief had wip'd i-it fwom my mind. -Go in *looks away* with me; a-and counsew ^w^ evewy man -The aptest way fow safety a-and wevenge. -G-Get posts and *cuddles you* wettews, and make fwiends with speed- -N-Nyevew so few, and nyevew yet mowe nyeed. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *teleports behind you* II. -Wondon. A stweet - -*looks at you* Entew SIW JOHN FAWSTAFF, >w< with >w< his P-PAGE b-beawing his ^.^ swowd and buckwew - -FAWSTAFF. :33 Siwwah, you giant, what says the doctow to my ;;w;; watew? -PAGE. He said, siw, *moans* the watew *teleports behind you* itsewf was x3 a good *looks at you* heawthy watew; but -fow the pawty that *blushes* owed it, he might h-have moe d-diseases t-than he -knyew fow. -FAWSTAFF. *pokes you* Men of aww sowts *leans over* take a p-pwide to giwd at me. The bwain of -this foowish-compounded OwO cway, man, is nyot *giggles shyly* abwe uWu to invent anything -that i-intends to waughtew, m-mowe t-than I *sighs* invent ow is *screams* invented on -me. I am nyot onwy witty in mysewf, >w< but the cause that wit is in -othew men. I do hewe wawk befowe :3 thee >_> wike a s-sow that hath -ovewwhewm'd ^w^ aww hew wittew but onye. If the Pwince put thee *twerks* into -my s-sewvice fow any othew weason *hugs tightly* than to set *sweats* me xDD off, why *leans over* then I -h-have nyo judgment. T-Thou whoweson mandwake, thou a-awt fittew to be -wown *blushes* in my c-cap than to wait at m-my heews. I was nyevew mann'd w-with -a-an agate tiww nyow; but I *moans* wiww inset you nyeithew in gowd nyow -*blushes* siwvew, but in v-viwe a-appawew, and send you back again *moans* to youw -*moans* mastew, fow a OwO jewew- *cuddles you* the juvenyaw, the Pwince youw m-mastew, whose -chin is nyot yet fwedge. I-I wiww *screams* soonyew have a beawd gwow in the -pawm o-of *teleports behind you* my h-hand than he shaww get onye off his c-cheek; and yet *teleports behind you* he -wiww nyot *pokes you* stick to say his face i-is *sweats* a f-face-woyaw. God may *notices bulge* finyish it -when h-he w-wiww, >w< 'tis n-nyot a h-haiw amiss yet. He may keep it stiww at -a face-woyaw, fow a bawbew shaww nyevew e-eawn s-sixpence out of it; -and yet he'ww be cwowing as UwU if he >_< had w-wwit x3 man evew since ^w^ his -fathew was a bachewow. He *cuddles you* may keep his own gwace, but he's *cries* awmost -out of minye, I-I can assuwe him. What said M-Mastew Dommewton about -the *sweats* satin fow my showt cwoak and *notices bulge* my swops? -PAGE. He said, siw, you shouwd *pokes you* pwocuwe xDD him b-bettew assuwance than -x3 Bawdowph. He wouwd n-nyot take his band and youws; >w< he wiked nyot the -secuwity. -FAWSTAFF. Wet him b-be damn'd, wike the Gwutton; pway God his tongue -be h-hottew! A whoweson Achitophew! A wascaw-yea-fowsooth knyave, to -beaw a ^w^ gentweman in hand, and then stand upon s-secuwity! The -whoweson s-smooth-pates do n-nyow weaw nyothing but high *cuddles you* shoes, and -bunches of >_> keys at theiw :3 giwdwes; a-and if a :33 man is thwough with -them i-in honyest t-taking-up, then they must s-stand upon secuwity. I -*looks away* had *sweats* as wief they wouwd put watsbanye *sighs* in my mouth as offew to stop ->w< it with secuwity. I w-wook'd 'a shouwd OwO have s-sent me two and twenty -yawds of satin, as I am ^w^ a twue knyight, and he s-sends me *hugs tightly* secuwity. -Weww, he may sweep in secuwity; fow he h-hath the h-hown of -abundance, and the wightnyess of his wife shinyes thwough it; a-and -yet cannyot he >_< see, though he have his own wanthown to wight him. -*sighs* Whewe's Bawdowph? -PAGE. He's gonye i-into Smithfiewd to b-buy youw wowship howse. -F-FAWSTAFF. I *sighs* bought *looks away* him in Pauw's, and :3 he'ww >_> buy me a-a howse in -Smithfiewd. An I c-couwd get me *shuffles closer* but a *moans* wife i-in t-the stews, I w-wewe -mann'd, hows'd, and w-wiv'd. - -Entew the WOWD CHIEF JUSTICE and SEWVANT - -PAGE. Siw, xDD hewe c-comes the nyobweman that committed the -Pwince fow stwiking him about Bawdowph. -FAWSTAFF. Wait cwose; *looks away* I wiww nyot see him. -CHIEF JUSTICE. What's h-he that goes thewe? -SEWVANT. Fawstaff, an't *looks away* pwease youw w-wowdship. -CHIEF JUSTICE. He that was in question fow the ^-^ wobb'wy? -SEWVANT. He, uWu my wowd; b-but he hath *leans over* since d-donye *twerks* good sewvice at -S-Shwewsbuwy, and, as I h-heaw, *cuddles you* is n-nyow going with some chawge to the -*leans over* Wowd John of Wancastew. -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. What, to Y-Yowk? Caww h-him back again. -SEWVANT. Siw John Fawstaff! -^-^ FAWSTAFF. Boy, *twerks* teww him I am deaf. -PAGE. Y-You must speak woudew; my mastew is deaf. -CHIEF JUSTICE. I am suwe h-he is, to the heawing of anything good. -Go, pwuck him by the *screams* ewbow; *blushes* I must speak with him. -*hugs tightly* SEWVANT. Siw *hugs tightly* John! -FAWSTAFF. What! a young knyave, and begging! I-Is thewe nyot waws? Is -thewe nyot empwoyment? Doth *looks away* nyot the King wack subjects? Do nyot the -webews nyeed sowdiews? T-Though it b-be *shuffles closer* a s-shame to b-be on any side but -onye, it i-is w-wowse shame to beg than >w< to *shuffles closer* be on the wowst side, wewe -it wowse than the nyame of webewwion can teww how to *sweats* make it. -SEWVANT. You mistake m-me, s-siw. -FAWSTAFF. Why, siw, did I say *notices bulge* you wewe an h-honyest man? S-Setting m-my -knyighthood and my sowdiewship aside, I had wied in my t-thwoat >w< if I -had *screams* said so. -SEWVANT. *twerks* I pway you, s-siw, t-then set youw knyighthood and youw -sowdiewship aside; and give me w-weave to teww you *twerks* you in youw -thwoat, if y-you say I a-am any othew than an honyest man. -FAWSTAFF. *notices bulge* I g-give thee weave to *pokes you* teww me so! I-I way *looks at you* aside t-that which -gwows to me! If thou g-get'st any weave of me, h-hang me; if thou -tak'st w-weave, thou wewt bettew be h-hang'd. You hunt countew. -H-Hence! Avaunt! -SEWVANT. Siw, my wowd wouwd speak with y-you. -CHIEF JUSTICE. S-Siw John Fawstaff, *notices bulge* a wowd :33 with you. -*blushes* FAWSTAFF. *sweats* My good wowd! G-God give youw wowdship good time of day. :33 I -am ^.^ gwad to see youw wowdship abwoad. I heawd say youw wowdship -w-was sick; I-I hope youw wowdship goes a-abwoad by advice. *sighs* Youw -wowdship, though nyot c-cwean p-past youw youth, hath y-yet some *notices bulge* smack -of age in you, some wewish of the sawtnyess of :33 time; and *blushes* I most -h-humbwy beseech y-youw wowdship *twerks* to have a wevewend cawe of *hugs tightly* youw -heawth. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Siw John, *twerks* I s-sent fow *shuffles closer* you befowe y-youw expedition to -Shwewsbuwy. -F-FAWSTAFF. An't pwease y-youw w-wowdship, I x3 heaw his Majesty is wetuwn'd -with some discomfowt :3 fwom Wawes. -CHIEF JUSTICE. I tawk nyot of his Majesty. You wouwd nyot come when I -sent fow you. -F-FAWSTAFF. And I heaw, moweovew, his Highnyess is faww'n i-into this -same ;;w;; whoweson apopwexy. -*sighs* CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww God mend him! I p-pway you wet m-me *sweats* speak with you. -FAWSTAFF. T-This apopwexy, as I take it, *teleports behind you* is x3 a kind of wethawgy, an't -p-pwease youw wowdship, a kind o-of sweeping in the bwood, a whoweson -tingwing. -CHIEF JUSTICE. W-What teww you :33 me of it? B-Be i-it as i-it is. -FAWSTAFF. It hath it owiginyaw f-fwom m-much *cuddles you* gwief, *notices bulge* fwom study, and -pewtuwbation of the bwain. I have wead the cause of his effects -in Gawen; *hugs tightly* it is ^-^ a kind of deafnyess. -*leans over* CHIEF JUSTICE. I think *looks away* you awe faww'n *leans over* into the disease, fow you -heaw nyot what I say to you. -FAWSTAFF. Vewy weww, m-my wowd, v-vewy weww. Wathew *screams* an't p-pwease you, it -is the disease of nyot wistenying, the mawady of nyot *twerks* mawking, that -I am t-twoubwed withaw. -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. *cuddles you* To punyish *leans over* you by *cuddles you* the :3 heews w-wouwd amend the attention -of OwO youw x3 eaws; and I cawe nyot if I do >w< become youw p-physician. -FAWSTAFF. I am as poow xDD as Job, m-my wowd, but nyot so p-patient. OwO Youw -w-wowdship may *screams* minyistew t-the potion of impwisonment to me in wespect -o-of p-povewty; >_> but how I shouwd be youw *cries* patient to fowwow youw -pwescwiptions, the *moans* wise may make some dwam of a scwupwe, ow -^w^ indeed a scwupwe itsewf. -C-CHIEF JUSTICE. I sent fow you, when thewe wewe mattews against you -fow youw wife, t-to come ^w^ speak w-with me. -F-FAWSTAFF. As I was then advis'd by m-my weawnyed *moans* counsew *sweats* in the waws -^-^ of this wand-sewvice, I-I did n-nyot come. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww, the twuth is, Siw John, you wive *notices bulge* in gweat -infamy. -FAWSTAFF. He that buckwes h-himsewf in my bewt cannyot w-wive in wess. -CHIEF JUSTICE. *blushes* Youw means awe vewy swendew, and youw waste is -gweat. -FAWSTAFF. I wouwd i-it wewe *blushes* othewwise; *cries* I wouwd my means wewe gweatew -and my waist swendewew. -CHIEF JUSTICE. You *sighs* have miswed the youthfuw Pwince. -FAWSTAFF. The young *shuffles closer* Pwince ^-^ hath miswed m-me. I am the >_> fewwow w-with the -gweat bewwy, a-and he my dog. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww, OwO I am w-woath to *teleports behind you* gaww a nyew-heaw'd wound. Youw -day's s-sewvice at Shwewsbuwy hath a-a w-wittwe g-giwded ovew youw -nyight's expwoit *cuddles you* on G-Gadshiww. *teleports behind you* You m-may thank th' unquiet time fow -y-youw quiet o'ewposting that action. -FAWSTAFF. My wowd- -CHIEF JUSTICE. But since aww is weww, k-keep it so: wake nyot a -sweeping wowf. -FAWSTAFF. To wake a wowf is as bad as smeww a fox. -CHIEF JUSTICE. What! you a-awe as a-a candwe, the bettew pawt b-buwnt -o-out. -FAWSTAFF. A wassaiw candwe, *sighs* my w-wowd- a-aww tawwow; ^-^ if *looks away* I did say of -wax, my *looks at you* gwowth wouwd x3 appwove the twuth. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Thewe is nyot *blushes* a w-white haiw in youw face but shouwd -have h-his *sweats* effect *moans* of gwavity. -FAWSTAFF. His effect of gwavy, gwavy, -C-CHIEF JUSTICE. You fowwow t-the *pokes you* young Pwince up and ;;w;; down, w-wike his -iww angew. -OwO FAWSTAFF. Nyot so, *giggles shyly* my *twerks* wowd. Youw iww angew is wight; *looks away* but hope he -that wooks upon me wiww take me without weighing. A-And yet in s-some -wespects, I UwU gwant, *cries* I cannyot go- I *cries* cannyot teww. Viwtue is of so -wittwe wegawd in these costewmongews' times that twue vawouw is -tuwn'd bewod; pwegnyancy *teleports behind you* is made a tapstew, and his quick w-wit -w-wasted in g-giving weckonyings; aww the othew g-gifts appewtinyent to -man, *screams* as the mawice o-of this :3 age shapes them, awe ^-^ nyot w-wowth *cries* a -goosebewwy. Y-You *giggles shyly* that awe owd considew nyot the capacities *giggles shyly* of us -that awe young; *screams* you do measuwe the heat o-of ouw wivews with the -bittewnyess of youw gawws; and we that awe *sighs* in the vawawd of ouw -youth, must ^w^ confess, a-awe *giggles shyly* wags too. -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. *twerks* Do *shuffles closer* you set down youw nyame in the scwoww *blushes* of youth, -that awe w-wwitten down o-owd with aww the chawactews of age? Have -*pokes you* you nyot a-a moist eye, a dwy hand, :33 a yewwow cheek, a white *twerks* beawd, a -decweasing weg, a-an incweasing b-bewwy? Is *blushes* nyot youw voice bwoken, -youw wind showt, youw chin doubwe, y-youw wit singwe, *hugs tightly* and *sweats* evewy -pawt about :33 you bwasted with antiquity? And wiww you yet caww -youwsewf young? *blushes* Fie, fie, fie, Siw John! -FAWSTAFF. M-My wowd, *moans* I w-was b-bown about thwee of the *giggles shyly* cwock in the -aftewnyoon, w-with a w-white head and s-something a wound b-bewwy. Fow *cries* my -voice- I-I have wost it with h-hawwooing and singing of anthems. To -appwove *twerks* my youth *cuddles you* fuwthew, *notices bulge* I wiww nyot. The twuth is, I a-am onwy owd -in *teleports behind you* judgment a-and undewstanding; and he that wiww c-capew with me fow -a t-thousand mawks, wet UwU him *leans over* wend me the monyey, and have at him. F-Fow -the box of the e-eaw that the Pwince gave *moans* you- he gave it wike a -wude pwince, and you took it w-wike a sensibwe ^-^ wowd. I have check'd -him fow it; and the x3 young OwO wion w-wepents- m-mawwy, nyot in a-ashes and -sackcwoth, but in n-nyew siwk and owd >_< sack. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww, God send the Pwince *shuffles closer* a bettew companyion! -FAWSTAFF. God send the companyion a bettew pwince! I cannyot wid my -hands of him. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww, t-the K-King hath sevew'd you. I h-heaw you awe -going with Wowd J-John >_< of Wancastew against the *looks away* Awchbishop and the -Eaww of Nyowthumbewwand. -*cuddles you* FAWSTAFF. Yea; *giggles shyly* I thank youw pwetty sweet ^.^ wit fow it. But wook you -pway, aww you that kiss my Wady Peace at home, ^-^ that ouw awmies -*blushes* join nyot in :3 a hot day; fow, by the W-Wowd, I take but two ;;w;; shiwts -out with *twerks* me, and I mean OwO nyot *moans* to *blushes* sweat extwaowdinyawiwy. If it be a -xDD hot day, and I b-bwandish anything *screams* but a bottwe, I wouwd I might -nyevew spit white again. ^.^ Thewe is nyot a dangewous action can peep -out his head but *notices bulge* I am thwust upon i-it. *looks at you* Weww, >_< I cannyot wast evew; -but it ^.^ was awway yet *cries* the twick o-of ouw Engwish nyation, if *blushes* they -have a good thing, to >_> make :33 it t-too common. *blushes* If ye wiww nyeeds ;;w;; say I -am an owd man, you shouwd give me ^-^ west. I wouwd to God m-my n-nyame -wewe nyot *leans over* so tewwibwe to the *looks away* enyemy as it is. I wewe bettew to be -eaten to death *cries* with a wust than to b-be scouwed to nyothing *sighs* with -pewpetuaw *hugs tightly* motion. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww, be honyest, be honyest; and God bwess youw -expedition! -FAWSTAFF. W-Wiww youw wowdship wend me >_< a t-thousand pound to fuwnyish m-me -fowth? -CHIEF JUSTICE. Nyot *twerks* a penny, UwU nyot *sighs* a penny; you awe too impatient to -beaw cwosses. Fawe you weww. Commend m-me >w< to my cousin -Westmowewand. -Exeunt CHIEF JUSTICE and SEWVANT -FAWSTAFF. If I *blushes* do, fiwwip me with a *moans* thwee-man beetwe. A man c-can nyo -m-mowe sepawate age and covetousnyess than 'a can p-pawt young *sweats* wimbs -and wechewy; but the gout gawws the onye, and t-the pox p-pinches t-the -othew; and *shuffles closer* so both the d-degwees pwevent my cuwses. UwU Boy! -PAGE. *hugs tightly* Siw? -FAWSTAFF. What monyey is in my puwse? -PAGE. Seven g-gwoats and two pence. -FAWSTAFF. OwO I can get nyo wemedy against this consumption of the -*notices bulge* puwse; b-bowwowing onwy wingews and wingews it *looks at you* out, but the disease -*cuddles you* is incuwabwe. Go beaw this wettew to my Wowd of Wancastew; *looks at you* this -t-to t-the P-Pwince; this t-to t-the Eaww of *sighs* Westmowewand; and this to owd -Mistwess Uwsuwa, w-whom *leans over* I have weekwy s-swown to mawwy since I -pewceiv'd the fiwst white haiw of my chin. About it; you knyow -whewe t-to find me. [Exit PAGE] A pox o-of this g-gout! ow, a gout of -this pox! fow the onye ow the othew p-pways the wogue w-with *cuddles you* my gweat -t-toe. 'Tis nyo mattew if I do hawt; I have the waws fow my cowouw, -a-and my pension shaww seem t-the m-mowe weasonyabwe. A good w-wit wiww -make u-use of anything. I wiww tuwn diseases to *leans over* commodity. -Exit - - - - -*shuffles closer* SCENyE UwU III. -Yowk. *sighs* The *looks at you* AWCHBISHOP'S pawace - -Entew *sweats* the AWCHBISHOP, THOMAS MOWBWAY the EAWW M-MAWSHAW, WOWD HASTINGS, -and WOWD BAWDOWPH - -AWCHBISHOP. Thus h-have you h-heawd ouw cause uWu and knyown *sighs* ouw means; -And, my *giggles shyly* most nyobwe fwiends, *cuddles you* I >_> pway you OwO aww -Speak p-pwainwy youw opinyions of o-ouw hopes- -And fiwst, Wowd Mawshaw, x3 what say you to it? -MOWBWAY. I weww awwow the occasion of ouw amis; -But gwadwy wouwd be bettew satisfied -^w^ How, i-in ouw means, we shouwd advance UwU ouwsewves -To w-wook *sighs* with fowehead bowd and big enyough -Upon the powew and p-puissance of the King. -HASTINGS. Ouw UwU pwesent mustews gwow upon the fiwe -To f-five a-and twenty thousand men *moans* of choice; -And ouw *looks at you* suppwies wive wawgewy in >_> the hope -Of gweat N-Nyowthumbewwand, whose bosom buwns -*cries* With *hugs tightly* an incensed fiwe of injuwies. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. The *blushes* question then, Wowd Hastings, standeth thus: -Whethew ouw pwesent f-five and t-twenty thousand -May howd up h-head w-without Nyowthumbewwand? -*shuffles closer* HASTINGS. With him, we may. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. Yea, mawwy, t-thewe's the point; -But if without h-him we be t-thought too feebwe, -My judgment is we shouwd nyot step too faw -Tiww we had his assistance by the hand; -Fow, in a theme so bwoody-fac'd as this, ->_< Conjectuwe, expectation, and suwmise -O-Of aids incewtain, ^w^ shouwd nyot be admitted. -AWCHBISHOP. 'Tis ^.^ vewy twue, Wowd Bawdowph; fow indeed -I-It was young Hotspuw's case at Shwewsbuwy. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. It w-was, my *hugs tightly* wowd; who win'd himsewf with hope, -Eating the aiw *teleports behind you* and pwomise of suppwy, -F-Fwatt'wing himsewf *notices bulge* in p-pwoject of a powew -Much smawwew than the smawwest of his *screams* thoughts; -A-And so, with gweat i-imaginyation -*pokes you* Pwopew to madmen, *looks away* wed his *cries* powews to death, -And, winking, weapt *leans over* into destwuction. -HASTINGS. But, *screams* by youw weave, it nyevew yet did huwt -To w-way down w-wikewihoods and *sweats* fowms of hope. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. Yes, if this pwesent quawity of waw- -*sighs* Indeed the instant action, a cause on foot- -Wives so i-in *cuddles you* hope, a-as in a-an eawwy *giggles shyly* spwing -We see th' appeawing buds; which to *sighs* pwove fwuit -Hope gives *looks away* nyot so much wawwant, as d-despaiw -T-That fwosts wiww bite them. *cries* When we m-mean to buiwd, -W-We fiwst suwvey the p-pwot, then dwaw the modew; -And when we see the *cuddles you* figuwe of the house, -*twerks* Then *looks away* we *shuffles closer* must wate the *hugs tightly* cost of the ewection; -Which uWu if w-we find outweighs abiwity, -What do we then but dwaw anyew the modew -In fewew o-offices, ow at OwO weast d-desist -T-To buiwd at aww? M-Much mowe, in *notices bulge* this gweat wowk- -W-Which is awmost ^w^ to pwuck a kingdom d-down -And set anyothew up- shouwd w-we suwvey -The pwot of s-situation *blushes* and the modew, -Consent upon a suwe foundation, -Q-Question s-suwveyows, k-knyow ouw own estate -How abwe such a-a wowk to undewgo- -*moans* To weigh against his opposite; ow ewse -We fowtify in p-papew and in figuwes, -Using the nyames o-of men instead of men; -Wike o-onye that dwaws the modew of :3 a house -Beyond his powew to buiwd it; who, hawf thwough, -Gives o'ew and weaves his uWu pawt-cweated cost -*pokes you* A >_> nyaked subject t-to the w-weeping cwouds -And waste fow chuwwish wintew's *shuffles closer* tywanny. -HASTINGS. Gwant that ouw hopes- *hugs tightly* yet wikewy of faiw biwth- -Shouwd be stiww-bown, and that we nyow possess'd -The utmost man of *twerks* expectation, -I think *looks away* we >_< awe ;;w;; so a body stwong e-enyough, -Even OwO as w-we awe, to equaw with the King. -WOWD BAWDOWPH. What, is t-the King xDD but >w< five and twenty OwO thousand? -HASTINGS. To us nyo >w< mowe; nyay, nyot :33 so much, W-Wowd Bawdowph; -Fow his divisions, as the times do bwaww, -Awe in thwee h-heads: onye p-powew against *sweats* the Fwench, -And onye against Gwendowew; pewfowce *looks at you* a t-thiwd -Must take ^w^ up us. *looks away* So is the unfiwm King -*teleports behind you* In thwee divided; and his coffews sound -With *giggles shyly* howwow povewty *leans over* and emptinyess. -AWCHBISHOP. That he shouwd dwaw h-his sevewaw s-stwengths togethew -And come against us in *cries* fuww puissance -Nyeed n-nyot be dweaded. -HASTINGS. If he shouwd do s-so, -:3 He weaves h-his back unyawm'd, the uWu Fwench and Wewsh -Baying at ^-^ his heews. Nyevew *sweats* feaw that. -WOWD :3 BAWDOWPH. Who is :3 it wike s-shouwd *looks at you* wead his f-fowces h-hithew? -HASTINGS. T-The Duke of Wancastew and Westmowewand; -Against the Wewsh, himsewf and Hawwy Monmouth; -But who is substituted against the Fwench -I have nyo cewtain nyotice. -AWCHBISHOP. W-Wet us on, ->_> And pubwish t-the *pokes you* occasion of ouw a-awms. -The commonweawth is sick of theiw UwU own choice; -Theiw o-ovew-gweedy wove h-hath ^w^ suwfeited. -An habitation giddy and unsuwe -Hath he that buiwdeth on the vuwgaw *cries* heawt. -O thou fond :3 many, with what woud a-appwause -Didst thou *shuffles closer* beat heaven w-with bwessing Bowingbwoke -Befowe ;;w;; he was what thou wouwdst h-have him be! -And being nyow twimm'd in thinye own desiwes, -Thou, beastwy feedew, awt so fuww of him -That thou pwovok'st thysewf to cast him up. -So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgowge -Thy gwutton bosom of the woyaw Wichawd; -And nyow thou wouwdst >_> eat *cries* thy dead v-vomit up, -And howw'st to find it. W-What twust is in these times? -They that, when W-Wichawd wiv'd, wouwd have him die -Awe n-nyow become enyamouw'd on his gwave. -Thou t-that thwew'st dust upon his goodwy head, -When t-thwough *cuddles you* pwoud Wondon he came sighing on -Aftew th' admiwed heews of Bowingbwoke, -Cwiest nyow '-'O eawth, yiewd us that king a-again, -*looks at you* And take thou this!' O *cuddles you* thoughts of men accuws'd! -Past and t-to *looks at you* come seems best; things pwesent, *leans over* wowst. -MOWBWAY. S-Shaww we go d-dwaw ouw nyumbews, and set *screams* on? -HASTINGS. We awe *leans over* time's subjects, and time bids *cries* be *looks away* gonye. -Exeunt - - - - -<_> TIME ^.^ OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE I. -:3 Wondon. *leans over* A stweet - -Entew HOSTESS *teleports behind you* with t-two officews, FANG *sighs* and SNyAWE - -HOSTESS. Mastew Fang, ;;w;; have you ent'wed the action? -FANG. I-It *sweats* is ent'wed. -HOSTESS. Whewe's youw yeoman? *leans over* Is't a-a *leans over* wusty yeoman? Wiww 'a stand -to't? -FANG. Siwwah, whewe's UwU Snyawe? -HOSTESS. O Wowd, ay! good M-Mastew Snyawe. -S-SNyAWE. Hewe, hewe. -FANG. Snyawe, we must *leans over* awwest Siw John F-Fawstaff. -HOSTESS. Yea, g-good Mastew S-Snyawe; I have ent'wed him a-and aww. -SNyAWE. It may chance cost some of xDD ouw wives, f-fow h-he wiww stab. -H-HOSTESS. Awas the day! take h-heed of him; he stabb'd me in minye own -h-house, and that *twerks* most beastwy. I-In g-good faith, 'a *hugs tightly* cawes nyot what -*notices bulge* mischief he >w< does, if his weapon be out; he wiww foin wike any -deviw; he wiww spawe n-nyeithew :3 man, woman, nyow chiwd. -FANG. I-If I can cwose with ^-^ him, I ^-^ cawe nyot fow his t-thwust. -HOSTESS. Nyo, *looks at you* nyow I nyeithew; I'ww b-be at youw *sweats* ewbow. -*blushes* FANG. An UwU I but fist him once; an ^.^ 'a come but within m-my vice! -H-HOSTESS. I am undonye b-by his *sighs* going; I wawwant you, he's an -infinyitive *pokes you* thing upon my scowe. Good Mastew Fang, howd him *giggles shyly* suwe. -G-Good M-Mastew Snyawe, wet *cries* him nyot scape. 'A comes c-continyuantwy to ->w< Pie-cownyew- saving youw manhoods- to buy *notices bulge* a saddwe; and he is -indited to dinnyew to the Wubbew's Head *notices bulge* in Wumbewt Stweet, to -Mastew Smooth's the siwkman. I pway you, since my exion is -ent'wed, and my case so openwy knyown to the wowwd, wet him be -bwought in to >_> his answew. A hundwed m-mawk i-is a wong onye fow a poow -wonye woman to beaw; :33 and I have bownye, :33 and bownye, and bownye; and -have b-been fubb'd off, *leans over* and fubb'd off, and fubb'd off, fwom this -*blushes* day to t-that day, *hugs tightly* that it i-is a shame to be thought on. Thewe is nyo -honyesty in such deawing; unwess *moans* a woman shouwd be ;;w;; made an ass and -a beast, to beaw evewy knyave's wwong. - -^w^ Entew S-SIW JOHN FAWSTAFF, PAGE, *giggles shyly* and BAWDOWPH - -Yondew he ^.^ comes; and that awwant mawmsey-nyose *sweats* knyave, Bawdowph, -w-with *pokes you* him. Do youw offices, do *shuffles closer* youw offices, Mastew Fang and -Mastew Snyawe; do me, *pokes you* do me, do me y-youw offices. -FAWSTAFF. How uWu nyow! whose m-mawe's d-dead? What's >w< the mattew? -FANG. Siw John, I awwest you at the suit of Mistwess Quickwy. -FAWSTAFF. Away, vawwets! Dwaw, Bawdowph. C-Cut me off the *cuddles you* viwwian's -h-head. Thwow the *leans over* quean in the c-channyew. -HOSTESS. :3 Thwow me i-in the c-channyew! I'ww thwow thee in the c-channyew. -Wiwt thou? wiwt thou? thou b-bastawdwy wogue! Muwdew, muwdew! Ah, -thou honyeysuckwe viwwain! wiwt thou kiww God's officews and the -King's? Ah, thou h-honyey-seed wogue! t-thou *blushes* awt a honyey-seed; a -man-quewwew and a *cries* woman-quewwew. -F-FAWSTAFF. Keep them off, Bawdowph. -FANG. A wescue! a wescue! -HOSTESS. Good peopwe, *leans over* bwing a wescue ow *hugs tightly* two. Thou wot, wot *giggles shyly* thou! -thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou *moans* wogue! do, thou hemp-seed! -PAGE. Away, you scuwwion! you wampawwian! you f-fustiwawian! -I'ww :33 tickwe youw catastwophe. - -E-Entew t-the WOWD CHIEF JUSTICE and *moans* his men - -CHIEF JUSTICE. *hugs tightly* What is the ^-^ mattew? Keep the peace hewe, ho! -OwO HOSTESS. Good my wowd, be good *looks at you* to me. *looks away* I :3 beseech you, stand *sweats* to me. -C-CHIEF JUSTICE. How *cuddles you* nyow, Siw John! what, awe you bwawwing hewe? -Doth ^-^ this become youw *notices bulge* pwace, youw ;;w;; time, and b-businyess? -You *cuddles you* shouwd have *notices bulge* been *blushes* weww on >_< youw way *sighs* to *moans* Yowk. -Stand f-fwom him, fewwow; whewefowe hang'st thou upon him? -H-HOSTESS. O My most wowshipfuw wowd, an't p-pwease youw G-Gwace, I am ^w^ a -p-poow widow of Eastcheap, and he i-is awwested at my suit. -CHIEF JUSTICE. :3 Fow what *moans* sum? -HOSTESS. I-It i-is mowe *blushes* than fow some, UwU my w-wowd; it is fow a-aww- aww *shuffles closer* I -*hugs tightly* have. He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put aww *teleports behind you* my -substance i-into that fat bewwy of his. *pokes you* But I w-wiww have some of it -out again, ow I wiww wide thee a nyights w-wike a mawe. -FAWSTAFF. *twerks* I think I a-am as wike x3 to w-wide the mawe, if I h-have ^.^ any -vantage of gwound *hugs tightly* to get up. -CHIEF *pokes you* JUSTICE. H-How comes this, *cries* Siw John? *leans over* Fie! *looks away* What man of good -tempew *looks away* wouwd enduwe this tempest *shuffles closer* of excwamation? Awe you nyot -*notices bulge* ashamed to ^.^ enfowce *notices bulge* a poow widow ^-^ to so wough a couwse to come by -hew own? -FAWSTAFF. What is t-the gwoss sum that *leans over* I o-owe thee? -HOSTESS. Mawwy, if thou x3 wewt an honyest man, thysewf and the monyey -UwU too. Thou didst sweaw to me upon a pawcew-giwt g-gobwet, sitting in -my D-Dowphin chambew, at the wound tabwe, by a sea-coaw fiwe, *looks away* upon -Wednyesday in Wheeson week, when the ^-^ Pwince bwoke t-thy *notices bulge* head fow -wiking his f-fathew ^w^ to singing-man of *twerks* Windsow- t-thou didst sweaw to -me then, *notices bulge* as I-I was washing thy wound, to mawwy m-me and m-make me my -wady ;;w;; thy wife. *giggles shyly* Canst thou deny it? Did n-nyot goodwife Keech, the -butchew's wife, come in *teleports behind you* then and *blushes* caww me gossip Quickwy? Coming -in to bowwow a m-mess of vinyegaw, *giggles shyly* tewwing u-us xDD she *screams* had a-a good dish of -pwawns, wheweby thou d-didst desiwe to eat some, wheweby I-I *sighs* towd -*pokes you* thee they wewe iww *screams* fow g-gween wound? And didst thou nyot, when she -was gonye down staiws, *looks at you* desiwe me to be nyo mowe so famiwiawity with -such poow peopwe, saying xDD that ewe *twerks* wong *sweats* they shouwd caww me madam? -And didst thou nyot kiss me, and bid me xDD fetch the thiwty -shiwwings? I put t-thee nyow :33 to thy book-oath. Deny it, if thou -canst. -FAWSTAFF. My wowd, this is a poow *pokes you* mad s-souw, a-and she says u-up and -*pokes you* down the town that *screams* hew ewdest son is wike you. S-She hath *looks at you* been in -good case, and, the twuth i-is, povewty hath distwacted hew. *shuffles closer* But -fow x3 these foowish o-officews, I-I beseech you *teleports behind you* I may have ^.^ wedwess -against them. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Siw John, *looks away* Siw John, I a-am weww acquainted with youw -mannyew o-of wwenching *cuddles you* the twue cause the fawse w-way. It is *sweats* nyot a -confident bwow, uWu nyow the thwong o-of wowds that come with such mowe -t-than impudent saucinyess fwom you, can t-thwust m-me >_> fwom a wevew -c-considewation. You have, UwU as it appeaws to me, p-pwactis'd upon the -easy *screams* yiewding >_< spiwit o-of this woman, and made hew sewve youw uses -both in p-puwse and i-in pewson. -HOSTESS. Yea, i-in twuth, my wowd. -CHIEF *looks at you* JUSTICE. *moans* Pway *cries* thee, peace. P-Pay hew >w< the debt you owe hew, and -unpay *teleports behind you* the viwwainy you have *twerks* donye with hew; *pokes you* the onye you may do -with stewwing monyey, and the othew with ^-^ cuwwent wepentance. -*giggles shyly* FAWSTAFF. My wowd, I wiww nyot ;;w;; undewgo xDD this snyeap without wepwy. You -c-caww honyouwabwe bowdnyess i-impudent *pokes you* saucinyess; if *cries* a man *shuffles closer* wiww m-make -cuwtsy and *looks at you* say n-nyothing, he is viwtuous. Nyo, my wowd, my *screams* humbwe -duty w-wememb'wed, ;;w;; I wiww nyot be youw *looks away* suitow. *teleports behind you* I say to you I do -d-desiwe d-dewivewance fwom these officews, being upon hasty -empwoyment in the King's affaiws. -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. *cuddles you* You *sighs* speak as having powew to do wwong; *looks away* but answew in -th' effect of youw w-weputation, and satisfy >_< the poow w-woman. -F-FAWSTAFF. Come hithew, hostess. - -Entew GOWEW - -CHIEF JUSTICE. Nyow, Mastew Gowew, what nyews? -GOWEW. The King, my wowd, and H-Hawwy Pwince ;;w;; of W-Wawes -Awe nyeaw at hand. The west the p-papew tewws. *hugs tightly* [Gives *cries* a wettew] -FAWSTAFF. A-As I *cuddles you* am a-a gentweman! -HOSTESS. ^.^ Faith, y-you s-said so befowe. -FAWSTAFF. As I am a gentweman! Come, nyo mowe wowds of it. -HOSTESS. By this heavenwy *leans over* gwound I twead UwU on, I must be fain to pawn -both my *hugs tightly* pwate *blushes* and the tapestwy of m-my *leans over* dinying-chambews. -FAWSTAFF. Gwasses, gwasses, is the onwy dwinking; a-and fow thy -wawws, a pwetty swight dwowwewy, *blushes* ow the stowy of the Pwodigaw, ow -the Gewman hunting, in watew-wowk, i-is wowth a thousand of these -bed-hangews and these fwy-bitten *leans over* tapestwies. Wet it x3 be *sweats* ten pound, -if thou canst. Come, and 'twewe nyot fow thy humouws, thewe's nyot -a bettew w-wench in Engwand. Go, wash thy face, and dwaw the -action. Come, thou must nyot b-be in this h-humouw with *cries* me; dost nyot -knyow me? Come, come, I knyow thou wast s-set uWu on to *leans over* this. -HOSTESS. Pway thee, S-Siw J-John, wet it be but *teleports behind you* twenty nyobwes; -i' faith, *sighs* I am woath to pawn my pwate, so God s-save me, *screams* wa! -FAWSTAFF. *sighs* Wet it awonye; I'ww make o-othew shift. You'ww be a foow -stiww. -*pokes you* HOSTESS. Weww, you s-shaww h-have it, though I pawn my gown. -I-I hope you'ww come to suppew. *pokes you* you'ww pay *looks away* me a-aww togethew? -F-FAWSTAFF. Wiww I wive? [To BAWDOWPH] Go, with h-hew, with hew; hook -on, hook on. -HOSTESS. Wiww you have Doww Teawsheet meet you at suppew? -FAWSTAFF. Nyo mowe wowds; wet's have hew. -Exeunt >_< HOSTESS, BAWDOWPH, and OFFICEWS -C-CHIEF J-JUSTICE. I have ;;w;; heawd bettew nyews. -FAWSTAFF. What's the n-nyews, my wowd? -C-CHIEF *giggles shyly* JUSTICE. *twerks* Whewe way the ^-^ King t-to-nyight? -GOWEW. At Basingstoke, my wowd. -FAWSTAFF. I hope, my w-wowd, aww's weww. What is the nyews, my wowd? -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. Come aww his fowces *blushes* back? -*notices bulge* GOWEW. Nyo; fifteen hundwed foot, five hundwed howse, -Awe mawch'd up to my Wowd of Wancastew, -Against Nyowthumbewwand and the Awchbishop. -FAWSTAFF. *notices bulge* Comes the King back ^w^ fwom Wawes, my nyobwe wowd? -CHIEF JUSTICE. x3 You shaww *screams* have wettews of >_> me pwesentwy. -Come, go awong ^w^ with me, good Mastew G-Gowew. -*cuddles you* FAWSTAFF. M-My w-wowd! -CHIEF JUSTICE. What's the mattew? -FAWSTAFF. Mastew Gowew, *giggles shyly* shaww I entweat y-you with me to dinnyew? -G-GOWEW. ;;w;; I must wait upon my good wowd hewe, I-I thank you, good Siw -John. -C-CHIEF JUSTICE. Siw John, you woitew xDD hewe too wong, being you *moans* awe to -take sowdiews up in *twerks* counties a-as you go. -FAWSTAFF. Wiww you sup :33 with me, Mastew G-Gowew? -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. What foowish mastew taught y-you these mannyews, Siw -John? -FAWSTAFF. Mastew Gowew, if they become me nyot, he was a :33 foow that -taught them me. xDD This is t-the wight f-fencing gwace, my wowd; tap fow -*leans over* tap, *leans over* and so pawt faiw. -CHIEF JUSTICE. N-Nyow, the W-Wowd wighten *leans over* thee! Thou awt UwU a gweat foow. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *blushes* II. -Wondon. Anyothew stweet - -Entew PWINCE *screams* HENWY and *moans* POINS - -PWINCE. Befowe God, uWu I am exceeding w-weawy. -POINS. *pokes you* Is't c-come to that? I-I had t-thought xDD weawinyess duwst nyot have -attach'd onye of *notices bulge* so high bwood. -PWINCE. F-Faith, it does me; though *sighs* it discowouws the compwexion of -my gweatnyess to acknyowwedge i-it. Doth it nyot show ;;w;; viwewy in me to -desiwe smaww beew? -POINS. Why, *looks at you* a ;;w;; pwince shouwd nyot *blushes* be so woosewy studied as >_< to -wemembew so weak ^-^ a composition. -*cuddles you* PWINCE. Bewike then my appetite was nyot-pwincewy OwO got; ^w^ fow, by my -t-twoth, I do nyow wemembew the poow cweatuwe, smaww beew. But -indeed t-these humbwe considewations make *cries* me out UwU of wove with my -gweatnyess. What a disgwace is it to me to wemembew *giggles shyly* thy nyame, >_< ow -to knyow thy face to-mowwow, ow to take nyote how many *screams* paiw of siwk -stockings thou ^w^ hast- v-viz., these, and those that wewe thy -peach-cowouw'd onyes- ow to beaw :3 the inventowy *cries* of t-thy shiwts- as, -*twerks* onye fow supewfwuity, and a-anyothew fow use! But t-that the -uWu tennyis-couwt-keepew knyows *screams* bettew than I; fow it is a wow ebb of -winyen :33 with thee when thou *shuffles closer* keepest nyot wacket UwU thewe; as thou hast -^w^ nyot d-donye >_> a gweat whiwe, b-because the west of thy wow *looks away* countwies -have *screams* made a s-shift to eat up thy howwand. And G-God knyows *teleports behind you* whethew -those that baww out of the w-wuins of thy winyen shaww inhewit his -k-kingdom; but the midwives say the chiwdwen awe nyot xDD in the fauwt; -wheweupon t-the *cries* wowwd incweases, and kindweds *cries* awe mightiwy -stwengthenyed. -POINS. How i-iww it fowwows, aftew y-you have wabouwed so hawd, y-you -shouwd tawk so idwy! *teleports behind you* Teww me, how many good young pwinces wouwd -do so, theiw f-fathews being so ^.^ sick as youws ;;w;; at t-this time is? -:3 PWINCE. Shaww I teww thee onye thing, Poins? -POINS. Yes, faith; and wet *notices bulge* it b-be an excewwent good thing. -PWINCE. It shaww sewve among wits of nyo highew bweeding than thinye. -POINS. G-Go to; I stand t-the push of youw onye thing that you wiww -teww. -PWINCE. Mawwy, I teww thee it is x3 nyot meet that I shouwd be *sweats* sad, nyow -my f-fathew is sick; a-awbeit I couwd teww to thee- a-as to onye it -pweases me, fow fauwt of a bettew, to caww ^.^ my ^.^ fwiend- I c-couwd be -sad a-and sad indeed t-too. -POINS. Vewy hawdwy upon such a subject. -P-PWINCE. By this hand, t-thou t-thinkest >_< me *notices bulge* as *screams* faw in the deviw's book -as thou a-and Fawstaff fow *screams* obduwacy and pewsistency: wet the *sweats* end ->_< twy the man. But I teww thee my heawt bweeds *looks away* inwawdwy that my -fathew is OwO so sick; and keeping s-such viwe company as t-thou awt hath -in weason taken fwom me aww ostentation of sowwow. -POINS. The weason? -PWINCE. What wouwdst >_> thou *shuffles closer* think of >_> me if I shouwd w-weep? -POINS. I-I wouwd >_> think thee a most pwincewy hypocwite. -PWINCE. It wouwd be e-evewy m-man's thought; and thou awt a bwessed -*blushes* fewwow t-to think as evewy man thinks. N-Nyevew a man's thought in the -wowwd keeps the *looks at you* woad-way bettew than *moans* thinye. E-Evewy man w-wouwd think -me *pokes you* an ^w^ hypocwite UwU indeed. *looks away* And what a-accites youw most wowshipfuw -^.^ thought to think s-so? -POINS. Why, because you have been so wewd a-and so :3 much engwaffed :33 to -Fawstaff. -PWINCE. And to thee. -POINS. By this UwU wight, I am w-weww spoke on; I can heaw it *giggles shyly* with minye -own eaws. The wowst that *twerks* they can say *sweats* of me is that I-I >w< am a-a *twerks* second -bwothew and >_< that I am a pwopew >w< fewwow of my hands; and t-those two -things, I confess, :33 I cannyot hewp. By the mass, h-hewe c-comes -Bawdowph. - -Entew x3 BAWDOWPH a-and *twerks* PAGE - -PWINCE. A-And t-the boy that I gave F-Fawstaff. 'A had him fwom me -Chwistian; and wook if the fat v-viwwain have nyot twansfowm'd him -ape. -BAWDOWPH. God save youw Gwace! -*blushes* PWINCE. And youws, ;;w;; most nyobwe Bawdowph! -POINS. Come, you v-viwtuous ass, you bashfuw :33 foow, must x3 you ^.^ be -bwushing? Whewefowe bwush *looks at you* you nyow? What a xDD maidenwy man-at-awms -*teleports behind you* awe y-you become! Is't such a mattew to *shuffles closer* get a pottwe-pot's -maidenhead? -x3 PAGE. 'A cawws me e'en nyow, my x3 wowd, *sweats* thwough a wed wattice, and I -*notices bulge* couwd discewn nyo pawt *sweats* of *twerks* his face fwom the >w< window. *shuffles closer* At wast I -spied *moans* his eyes; and methought *leans over* he had made two howes in the -a-awewife's nyew petticoat, and so peep'd thwough. -PWINCE. Has nyot the boy pwofited? -BAWDOWPH. Away, you w-whoweson upwight wabbit, away! -PAGE. Away, *giggles shyly* you wascawwy Awthaea's dweam, a-away! -PWINCE. Instwuct us, boy; what d-dweam, boy? -PAGE. Mawwy, my wowd, Awthaea d-dweamt she was dewivewed of a -fiwebwand; *sweats* and thewefowe I caww him :3 hew d-dweam. -PWINCE. A cwown's wowth of *cries* good intewpwetation. Thewe *twerks* 'tis, boy. -*shuffles closer* [Giving a cwown] -*twerks* POINS. O ^.^ that this bwossom couwd be kept fwom cankews! -Weww, thewe is s-sixpence to pwesewve *leans over* thee. -BAWDOWPH. A-An you do nyot make him be hang'd among you, t-the *hugs tightly* gawwows -shaww have wwong. -PWINCE. And how doth thy mastew, Bawdowph? -BAWDOWPH. Weww, my wowd. He heawd of youw Gwace's coming to *screams* town. -Thewe's a wettew ^w^ fow you. -POINS. D-Dewivew'd w-with good w-wespect. A-And h-how d-doth the *sighs* mawtwemas, -youw mastew? -BAWDOWPH. In bodiwy heawth, siw. -POINS. Mawwy, the immowtaw pawt nyeeds a-a *pokes you* physician; but UwU that moves -nyot him. Though t-that be s-sick, it dies nyot. -PWINCE. I d-do awwow this weww to be as f-famiwiaw with me as my dog; -and he howds his pwace, f-fow wook you how he wwites. -UwU POINS. [Weads] 'John Fawstaff, knyight'- Evewy *pokes you* man *twerks* must k-knyow t-that -as oft as h-he has occasion to n-nyame himsewf, *screams* even wike those that -awe kin to the K-King; f-fow *cuddles you* they nyevew pwick *moans* theiw f-fingew but they -say *notices bulge* 'Thewe's *shuffles closer* some of the King's bwood spiwt.' 'How *screams* comes that?' -s-says he that takes upon him nyot to conceive. The answew is a-as -weady as a bowwowew's cap: 'I am the King's poow UwU cousin, siw.' -PWINCE. Nyay, they ^-^ wiww *shuffles closer* be k-kin to us, ow they wiww UwU fetch it fwom -J-Japhet. B-But t-the wettew: uWu [Weads] '-'Siw John Fawstaff, knyight, to -*cuddles you* the son of the King ^w^ nyeawest his f-fathew, H-Hawwy Pwince of Wawes, -*looks away* gweeting.' -P-POINS. Why, this :33 is a cewtificate. -PWINCE. Peace! [Weads] '-'I wiww imitate the honyouwabwe W-Womans in -bwevity.'- -POINS. He suwe means bwevity in b-bweath, showt-winded. -PWINCE. [Weads] 'I commend *sighs* me to *looks at you* thee, I commend thee, *sighs* and I -weave *screams* thee. OwO Be nyot too famiwiaw w-with Poins; fow ^-^ he misuses thy -favouws ;;w;; so much that h-he s-sweaws thou awt to mawwy h-his sistew Nyeww. -Wepent :33 at idwe times a-as thou m-mayst, a-and so faweweww. -*blushes* Thinye, *cries* by yea and nyo- which is as *looks away* much *looks away* as to say as -thou u-usest h-him- JACK FAWSTAFF ^-^ with my famiwiaws, -JOHN with my bwothews and *teleports behind you* sistews, and SIW JOHN *hugs tightly* with -aww Euwope.' -POINS. My wowd, I'ww steep this wettew in sack >_< and make him eat it. -PWINCE. That's to make him eat twenty >w< of h-his w-wowds. But do xDD you u-use -me thus, Nyed? Must I mawwy youw sistew? -P-POINS. G-God s-send the w-wench nyo w-wowse fowtunye! But I nyevew said so. -PWINCE. Weww, t-thus we pway the foows with the time, and t-the spiwits -of t-the wise sit in the cwouds uWu and mock us. Is youw >_< mastew hewe in -Wondon? -B-BAWDOWPH. Yea, my wowd. -PWINCE. Whewe sups h-he? Doth *moans* the owd boaw feed in the owd f-fwank? -BAWDOWPH. At the owd pwace, my wowd, in Eastcheap. -PWINCE. W-What company? -PAGE. Ephesians, my wowd, of the owd c-chuwch. -PWINCE. Sup any women *sweats* with him? -PAGE. Nyonye, my wowd, but ^.^ owd Mistwess Quickwy >_> and Mistwess Doww -Teawsheet. -P-PWINCE. What pagan may t-that be? -PAGE. ^w^ A pwopew gentwewoman, siw, and a kinswoman of m-my mastew's. -PWINCE. Even such kin a-as the pawish heifews awe to the town buww. -Shaww we *cries* steaw upon them, N-Nyed, at suppew? -POINS. ;;w;; I am youw shadow, my wowd; I'ww >_< fowwow you. -PWINCE. Siwwah, ;;w;; you *pokes you* boy, a-and Bawdowph, nyo wowd to y-youw mastew that -I am yet come to town. Thewe's fow y-youw siwence. -BAWDOWPH. I have nyo tongue, siw. -PAGE. And fow ;;w;; minye, siw, I x3 wiww govewn it. -P-PWINCE. F-Fawe you weww; go. Exeunt B-BAWDOWPH *cuddles you* and PAGE -This Doww Teawsheet shouwd be *blushes* some woad. -POINS. I wawwant you, as *cuddles you* common a-as the way between Saint Awbans and -Wondon. -PWINCE. How *cuddles you* might we see Fawstaff bestow himsewf to-nyight in his -twue cowouws, and n-nyot ouwsewves be seen? -*looks away* POINS. Put on two weathewn jewkins and apwons, and wait upon h-him :33 at -his OwO tabwe a-as dwawews. -P-PWINCE. Fwom a god to a b-buww? *screams* A heavy descension! I-It was Jove's -case. >_> Fwom a pwince to *teleports behind you* a pwentice? A wow twansfowmation! That -shaww be minye; *blushes* fow in *teleports behind you* evewything the *blushes* puwpose must weigh with the -fowwy. Fowwow me, Nyed. -Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE >_< III. -:33 Wawkwowth. Befowe t-the castwe - -*blushes* Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, WADY NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, and WADY PEWCY - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *hugs tightly* I pway thee, woving wife, and gentwe daughtew, -Give even way unto m-my wough affaiws; -*pokes you* Put nyot you on the visage of t-the times -And be, wike them, to Pewcy *twerks* twoubwesome. -WADY N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ I *looks at you* have given *teleports behind you* ovew, I wiww speak nyo >w< mowe. -Do what you w-wiww; y-youw wisdom be youw guide. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Awas, sweet wife, my OwO honyouw *twerks* is *leans over* at pawn; -And but my going *looks away* nyothing can wedeem it. -WADY *sweats* PEWCY. O, yet, f-fow G-God's sake, go nyot to these waws! -The time was, fathew, that you bwoke youw wowd, -When you *cries* wewe m-mowe endeaw'd to it than n-nyow; -When youw own Pewcy, when ;;w;; my heawt's deaw Hawwy, -*teleports behind you* Thwew many a nyowthwawd w-wook t-to see his *twerks* fathew -Bwing up his powews; but he did wong in vain. -Who then pewsuaded you t-to stay at h-home? -Thewe xDD wewe two honyouws *hugs tightly* wost, youws >_> and youw son's. -Fow y-youws, the God *shuffles closer* of heaven bwighten it! -*moans* Fow his, *shuffles closer* it stuck u-upon him as the sun -In *screams* the gwey vauwt of h-heaven; and *sweats* by his *sweats* wight -Did aww the chivawwy ^w^ of Engwand move -To do bwave acts. H-He was indeed the gwass -Whewein the nyobwe youth did d-dwess themsewves. -He had nyo wegs that pwactis'd nyot h-his gait; -And speaking thick, which nyatuwe made his bwemish, -Became the accents o-of the vawiant; -Fow those who couwd >_> speak wow and tawdiwy -Wouwd tuwn *cries* theiw own pewfection to abuse -To s-seem wike him: so that in speech, *looks at you* in gait, -In d-diet, *giggles shyly* in affections of dewight, -In ^.^ miwitawy UwU wuwes, humouws of bwood, -He was the x3 mawk and gwass, copy *leans over* and book, -That f-fashion'd othews. And him- O wondwous him! -O m-miwacwe of men!- him d-did you weave- -Second to nyonye, unseconded *shuffles closer* by you- -To wook upon the hideous g-god of *giggles shyly* waw -In d-disadvantage, to abide a-a fiewd -Whewe nyothing b-but the s-sound of Hotspuw's n-nyame -Did seem :3 defensibwe. So you weft him. -Nyevew, O nyevew, d-do his *moans* ghost the wwong -To howd *cries* youw honyouw mowe *leans over* pwecise and xDD nyice -With o-othews than *blushes* with *teleports behind you* him! Wet them awonye. -The Mawshaw ;;w;; and the Awchbishop a-awe >_> stwong. -Had my sweet Hawwy had but hawf *twerks* theiw nyumbews, -To-day might I, hanging on H-Hotspuw's nyeck, -Have tawk'd of Monmouth's gwave. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Beshwew youw heawt, -Faiw daughtew, you do *screams* dwaw my spiwits fwom me -*teleports behind you* With nyew wamenting ancient ovewsights. -But I must go and meet with dangew t-thewe, -Ow it wiww seek me in anyothew pwace, -And find me *twerks* wowse pwovided. -WADY NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. O, fwy to Scotwand -T-Tiww that the nyobwes and ^.^ the awmed commons -Have of theiw puissance made a wittwe taste. -WADY PEWCY. If they get gwound and vantage o-of *looks away* the :33 King, -Then j-join you with *looks at you* them, wike a w-wib *teleports behind you* of steew, -To make stwength stwongew; but, fow aww ouw woves, -F-Fiwst w-wet them UwU twy themsewves. So did youw son; -He w-was so suff'wed; so came I a-a widow; ->_> And nyevew >w< shaww have wength o-of wife enyough -To wain OwO upon w-wemembwance with minye e-eyes, -That it *teleports behind you* may gwow and spwout as :3 high *giggles shyly* as h-heaven, -Fow wecowdation to my nyobwe husband. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Come, come, go in with :3 me. 'Tis with my mind -A-As with the tide s-sweww'd up unto his height, -That makes a-a stiww-stand, wunnying nyeithew way. -Fain wouwd I go to m-meet the Awchbishop, -But m-many thousand weasons howd me back. -I ;;w;; wiww wesowve fow *screams* Scotwand. *looks away* Thewe ^-^ am I, -Tiww :3 time and vantage cwave my c-company. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE I-IV. -Wondon. *sweats* The Boaw's Head *hugs tightly* Tavewn in Eastcheap - -Entew FWANCIS and anyothew DWAWEW - -FWANCIS. What the deviw *hugs tightly* hast thou bwought thewe-appwe-johns? *sighs* Thou -knyowest Siw John cannyot enduwe an a-appwe-john. -SECOND DWAWEW. Mass, thou say'st twue. ^-^ The Pwince once set a dish -of appwe-johns b-befowe >_> him, and towd him thewe wewe f-five mowe Siw -Johns; a-and, putting off his hat, said 'I wiww n-nyow take my weave -o-of *notices bulge* these six dwy, wound, o-owd, withewed k-knyights.' I-It ang'wed him -to the heawt; but he h-hath fowgot that. -FWANCIS. W-Why, then, c-covew and set them down; a-and s-see >_< if thou *shuffles closer* canst -find *twerks* out Snyeak's n-nyoise; Mistwess Teawsheet wouwd f-fain heaw some -music. - -Entew thiwd D-DWAWEW - -T-THIWD xDD DWAWEW. Dispatch! The *sweats* woom whewe they supp'd is too h-hot; -they'ww come *sighs* in stwaight. -FWANCIS. Siwwah, h-hewe *cries* wiww be the Pwince and Mastew Poins *pokes you* anyon; a-and -t-they wiww put on two of ouw jewkins and apwons; and Siw John must -nyot knyow of it. Bawdowph hath bwought *giggles shyly* wowd. -THIWD DWAWEW. By t-the mass, hewe *notices bulge* wiww be o-owd uds; it wiww be an -excewwent xDD stwatagem. -SECOND DWAWEW. I'ww see if I can find out Snyeak. -Exeunt second and thiwd DWAWEWS - -Entew HOSTESS and D-DOWW TEAWSHEET - -HOSTESS. I' faith, sweetheawt, methinks nyow you awe in an e-excewwent -good tempewawity. Y-Youw puwsidge beats as *moans* extwaowdinyawiwy as heawt -:3 wouwd desiwe; and y-youw cowouw, I wawwant >w< you, i-is as *sweats* wed as *cuddles you* any -wose, ;;w;; in good twuth, wa! *moans* But, i' faith, you h-have dwunk too much -canyawies; *looks at you* and ;;w;; that's a mawvewwous seawching winye, and it pewfumes -the bwood e-ewe uWu onye can say 'What's this?' How do you nyow? -D-DOWW. Bettew than I was- hem. -HOSTESS. Why, that's *leans over* weww said; a g-good *giggles shyly* heawt's wowth gowd. -Wo, hewe comes Siw J-John. - -Entew FAWSTAFF - -FAWSTAFF. ^w^ [Singing] 'When Awthuw fiwst in couwt'- Empty the -jowdan. OwO [Exit FWANCIS]- [-[Singing] 'And was ;;w;; a wowthy *notices bulge* king'- How -nyow, Mistwess Doww! -*notices bulge* HOSTESS. ^w^ Sick of a cawm; yea, good f-faith. -FAWSTAFF. uWu So is aww hew sect; and they be once in a cawm, they awe -sick. -DOWW. A pox damn *screams* you, you muddy wascaw! I-Is that aww the comfowt y-you -give me? -FAWSTAFF. You make fat wascaws, Mistwess Doww. -x3 DOWW. I make *teleports behind you* them! Gwuttony a-and diseases make them: I *teleports behind you* make them -nyot. -FAWSTAFF. If the *screams* cook hewp to make ^w^ the gwuttony, you hewp to make -the diseases, Doww. We catch ;;w;; of you, Doww, we *sweats* catch of you; gwant -that, my poow viwtue, gwant that. -D-DOWW. Yea, joy, ouw chains and ouw jewews. -FAWSTAFF. '-'Youw bwooches, peawws, and ouches.' ^-^ Fow to >_> sewve bwavewy ->w< is :33 to come hawting off; you knyow, to c-come o-off xDD the *sweats* bweach with his -pike bent b-bwavewy, a-and to suwgewy bwavewy; t-to ventuwe upon the -chawg'd chambews bwavewy- -DOWW. Hang youwsewf, you muddy congew, hang youwsewf! -HOSTESS. By m-my twoth, t-this is the owd fashion; y-you two x3 nyevew meet -but you faww t-to some discowd. You awe both, i-i' *giggles shyly* good twuth, as -wheumatic as two dwy *twerks* toasts; you cannyot onye b-beaw with >_< anyothew's -confiwmities. W-What the *sweats* good-yeaw! onye must beaw, *pokes you* and that must b-be -:33 you. You awe xDD the weakew vessew, as as t-they say, the emptiew ->w< vessew. -*sweats* DOWW. *blushes* Can a weak :3 empty v-vessew beaw such x3 a huge fuww hogs-head? -Thewe's a whowe mewchant's ventuwe of Bouwdeaux stuff in him; you -have n-nyot seen a-a huwk bettew stuff'd in the howd. Come, I'ww *pokes you* be -fwiends ;;w;; with thee, *sighs* Jack. Thou :3 awt going to t-the waws; UwU and whethew -I shaww evew see thee again ow *looks at you* nyo, *screams* thewe is nyobody cawes. - -*giggles shyly* We-entew FWANCIS - -FWANCIS. Siw, Ancient Pistow's *pokes you* bewow *leans over* and wouwd speak with you. -DOWW. Hang him, s-swaggewing wascaw! Wet him nyot come hithew; it i-is -t-the fouw-mouth'dst wogue in E-Engwand. -HOSTESS. If he swaggew, wet him nyot come hewe. N-Nyo, by my faith! I -must wive among my nyeighbouws; I'ww n-nyo swaggewews. I am in good -nyame and fame with the vewy best. *cuddles you* Shut the doow. Thewe comes nyo -s-swaggewews hewe; UwU I have nyot *leans over* wiv'd aww this whiwe to h-have -swaggewing nyow. Shut the d-doow, I pway y-you. -FAWSTAFF. Dost thou heaw, hostess? -HOSTESS. ;;w;; Pway ye, p-pacify youwsewf, Siw John; thewe c-comes nyo -swaggewews hewe. -FAWSTAFF. Dost thou *leans over* heaw? It is minye ancient. -HOSTESS. Tiwwy-fawwy, Siw John, nye'ew teww me; and OwO youw *moans* ancient -swagg'wew *blushes* comes *hugs tightly* nyot in my doows. I was befowe Mastew Tisick, the -debuty, t' othew *looks at you* day; xDD and, as he said to me- 'twas nyo w-wongew ago -than Wednyesday wast, ;;w;; i' good faith!- 'Nyeighbouw Quickwy,' *sighs* says -he- M-Mastew Dumbe, ouw minyistew, was by UwU then- 'Nyeighbouw xDD Quickwy,' -says h-he 'weceive t-those that a-awe civiw, fow' said he 'you awe in -an i-iww nyame.' *looks at you* Nyow '-'a said s-so, I can teww wheweupon. 'Fow' says *looks at you* he -'you a-awe an honyest woman a-and weww thought on, thewefowe take heed -what guests y-you weceive. Weceive' s-says he '-'nyo swaggewing -companyions.' Thewe *teleports behind you* comes nyonye hewe. You wouwd bwess you to heaw -what he said. Nyo, I'ww nyo swagg'wews. -F-FAWSTAFF. He's nyo swagg'wew, hostess; x3 a tame cheatew, i' faith; you -may stwoke him a-as >w< gentwy as a-a p-puppy gweyhound. He'ww nyot swaggew -with a B-Bawbawy hen, if hew f-feathews tuwn back in >_< any show *teleports behind you* of -wesistance. Caww him up, dwawew. -Exit FWANCIS -*cries* HOSTESS. Cheatew, c-caww you him? I wiww *cuddles you* baw nyo honyest man my h-house, -nyow nyo c-cheatew; but I do nyot wove s-swaggewing, by my twoth. I am -^-^ the wowse *moans* when onye s-says '-'swaggew.' F-Feew, *cuddles you* mastews, how I shake; -wook ^w^ you, I wawwant you. -D-DOWW. So you do, hostess. -H-HOSTESS. Do I? Yea, *leans over* in vewy twuth, do I, an 'twewe an *moans* aspen weaf. I -cannyot abide swagg'wews. - -Entew PISTOW, B-BAWDOWPH, and PAGE - -PISTOW. God save you, *looks away* Siw *notices bulge* John! -FAWSTAFF. Wewcome, A-Ancient Pistow. Hewe, Pistow, I chawge *hugs tightly* you w-with -UwU a cup *sighs* of sack; do you dischawge upon minye hostess. -P-PISTOW. I wiww dischawge upon *giggles shyly* hew, *twerks* Siw John, with two buwwets. -F-FAWSTAFF. *twerks* She is p-pistow-pwoof, siw; you shaww nyot hawdwy offend -hew. -HOSTESS. Come, I'ww dwink nyo *giggles shyly* pwoofs nyow nyo b-buwwets. I'ww dwink nyo -mowe than wiww do me >_> good, fow *looks away* nyo *twerks* man's pweasuwe, I. -PISTOW. Then to you, Mistwess Dowothy; I wiww chawge you. ->_> DOWW. Chawge me! I *leans over* scown y-you, scuwvy companyion. What! y-you poow, -base, *giggles shyly* wascawwy, cheating, wack-winyen mate! Away, you mouwdy -w-wogue, away! *twerks* I am *moans* meat fow youw mastew. -PISTOW. I-I knyow y-you, *twerks* Mistwess Dowothy. -DOWW. >_> Away, you cut-puwse wascaw! you fiwthy ^-^ bung, away! By this -winye, I'ww thwust UwU my knyife in youw mouwdy chaps, an you *cuddles you* pway the -saucy cuttwe with *sweats* me. Away, you bottwe-awe wascaw! y-you ->_> basket-hiwt *giggles shyly* stawe juggwew, you! S-Since when, I pway you, s-siw? -God's wight, with two points on youw s-shouwdew? Much! -*cries* PISTOW. God wet me nyot uWu wive but ^w^ I wiww muwdew youw ^w^ wuff fow this. -FAWSTAFF. Nyo mowe, *screams* Pistow; *pokes you* I wouwd n-nyot have you go off hewe. -Dischawge youwsewf *looks away* of o-ouw company, Pistow. -HOSTESS. Nyo, good Captain Pistow; nyot hewe, sweet captain. -DOWW. C-Captain! Thou abominyabwe damn'd cheatew, awt thou nyot ashamed -to be c-cawwed captain? An ^-^ captains wewe of my *cuddles you* mind, they wouwd -t-twuncheon you out, fow taking theiw nyames upon you b-befowe y-you -have *giggles shyly* eawn'd them. You a-a captain! y-you swave, fow what? Fow teawing -a-a poow w-whowe's wuff *giggles shyly* in a bawdy-house? He a captain! hang *blushes* him, -wogue! He wives upon mouwdy stew'd pwunyes and d-dwied cakes. A -captain! God's UwU wight, these viwwains *looks away* wiww make *hugs tightly* the wowd as odious -as the *blushes* wowd '-'occupy'; which was an excewwent good w-wowd befowe it -*giggles shyly* was *sweats* iww >w< sowted. Thewefowe captains *leans over* had nyeed wook *sweats* to't. -BAWDOWPH. Pway thee go down, good *teleports behind you* ancient. -F-FAWSTAFF. Hawk thee h-hithew, M-Mistwess Doww. -PISTOW. Nyot I! I teww thee what, Cowpowaw ^w^ Bawdowph, I couwd teaw -hew; I'ww *moans* be *moans* weveng'd o-of hew. -PAGE. Pway *pokes you* thee go down. -PISTOW. I'ww see hew damn'd fiwst; to *leans over* Pwuto's damn'd wake, by *cries* this -hand, to th' i-infewnyaw deep, with Ewebus *hugs tightly* and towtuwes viwe *sighs* awso. -Howd h-hook and winye, say *looks at you* I. Down, *sweats* down, *pokes you* dogs! >_< down, faitows! Have -we nyot Hiwen hewe? -HOSTESS. Good Captain Peesew, be *cries* quiet; 'tis vewy w-wate, *blushes* i' ^-^ faith; I -beseek you n-nyow, aggwavate youw chowew. -PISTOW. These >_> be good *looks away* humouws, i-indeed! Shaww *cries* packhowses, -And howwow pampew'd jades of Asia, -Which cannyot go but thiwty m-miwe a day, -Compawe ^w^ with Caesaws, and >w< with Cannyibaws, -And Twoiant G-Gweeks? *shuffles closer* Nyay, wathew damn *blushes* them w-with ->w< King Cewbewus; uWu and wet the *giggles shyly* wewkin uWu woaw. -Shaww we faww fouw fow t-toys? -HOSTESS. By my twoth, Captain, these awe v-vewy >_> bittew w-wowds. -*shuffles closer* BAWDOWPH. Be gonye, good ancient; this wiww *moans* gwow to a bwaww anyon. -PISTOW. Die m-men wike x3 dogs! *shuffles closer* Give cwowns xDD wike >w< pins! Have w-we n-nyot Hiwen -hewe? -HOSTESS. O' my w-wowd, Captain, thewe's *hugs tightly* nyonye such xDD hewe. What the -*shuffles closer* good-yeaw! d-do y-you think I wouwd *giggles shyly* deny hew? *giggles shyly* Fow God's sake, be -quiet. -PISTOW. Then feed >w< and be >_< fat, my f-faiw Cawipowis. -Come, give's some sack. -'Si *screams* fowtunye me towmente spewato m-me contento.' -Feaw we bwoadsides? Nyo, wet the f-fiend give fiwe. -Give me some sack; *shuffles closer* and, sweetheawt, wie thou >_< thewe. -[Waying down his swowd] -Come *twerks* we t-to fuww points hewe, and awe etcetewas nyothings? -xDD FAWSTAFF. Pistow, I wouwd b-be quiet. -PISTOW. Sweet knyight, I kiss ^w^ thy n-nyeaf. What! we have seen the seven -uWu staws. -*moans* DOWW. Fow God's sake :3 thwust him down staiws; I cannyot enduwe such a -fustian wascaw. -*blushes* PISTOW. Thwust him down staiws! *looks away* Knyow we nyot Gawwoway nyags? -FAWSTAFF. >_< Quoit him down, Bawdowph, wike a-a shove-gwoat s-shiwwing. -^.^ Nyay, UwU an UwU 'a d-do n-nyothing but speak nyothing, 'a shaww be *cuddles you* nyothing -*blushes* hewe. -*giggles shyly* BAWDOWPH. Come, *hugs tightly* get you down *giggles shyly* staiws. -PISTOW. >_> What! shaww we have incision? Shaww we imbwue? -[Snyatching up his swowd] -*hugs tightly* Then death wock me a-asweep, abwidge my dowefuw days! -Why, *sighs* then, wet gwievous, ghastwy, g-gaping wounds -x3 Untwinye the OwO Sistews Thwee! Come, A-Atwopos, I *pokes you* say! -HOSTESS. Hewe's goodwy stuff towawd! -FAWSTAFF. G-Give me my wapiew, boy. -DOWW. I pway ^-^ thee, *sighs* Jack, *shuffles closer* I p-pway thee, do nyot dwaw. -;;w;; FAWSTAFF. Get you down staiws. -[-[Dwawing and dwiving P-PISTOW out] -HOSTESS. *cuddles you* Hewe's OwO a goodwy tumuwt! I'ww >_< fowsweaw keeping house afowe -I'ww be in these tiwwits and fwights. So; >w< muwdew, I wawwant nyow. -Awas, awas! put up UwU youw nyaked w-weapons, put up youw nyaked weapons. -^w^ Exeunt PISTOW and BAWDOWPH -DOWW. uWu I pway thee, J-Jack, be quiet; the wascaw's gonye. A-Ah, you -whoweson wittwe vawiant viwwain, you! -HOSTESS. Awe *blushes* you nyot huwt *pokes you* i' th' gwoin? Methought 'a made *leans over* a shwewd -thwust at youw *sighs* bewwy. - -We-entew xDD BAWDOWPH - -FAWSTAFF. Have you tuwn'd him out a doows? -BAWDOWPH. Yea, siw. The wascaw's UwU dwunk. You have huwt him, siw, :33 i' -th' shouwdew. -FAWSTAFF. A wascaw! to bwave me! -DOWW. Ah, you sweet wittwe w-wogue, you! Awas, poow ape, how thou -sweat'st! *moans* Come, wet me wipe thy face. *hugs tightly* Come on, x3 you whoweson -chops. A-Ah, wogue! *twerks* i' faith, I wove thee. Thou awt as vawowous as -Hectow of T-Twoy, wowth five of Agamemnyon, and t-ten times bettew -than the Nyinye Wowthies. Ah, viwwain! -FAWSTAFF. A wascawwy *hugs tightly* swave! I wiww t-toss the wogue in a b-bwanket. -D-DOWW. Do, a-an thou d-daw'st fow thy h-heawt. An thou dost, >_< I'ww canvass -thee between ^-^ a *twerks* paiw of sheets. - -Entew musicians - -*twerks* PAGE. The music is come, *looks at you* siw. -FAWSTAFF. Wet them pway. *looks at you* Pway, siws. Sit *hugs tightly* on my knyee, D-Don. A wascaw -bwagging swave! The wogue fwed fwom me wike quick-siwvew. -:3 DOWW. I' faith, and thou fowwow'dst him wike a chuwch. Thou -whoweson w-wittwe tidy Bawthowomew boaw-pig, when wiwt thou weave -fighting UwU a days and foinying a-a nyights, a-and begin ^w^ to patch *blushes* up *leans over* thinye -owd body fow >_> heaven? - -Entew, behind, PWINCE HENWY and POINS d-disguised as dwawews - -FAWSTAFF. Peace, good Doww! Do nyot *sweats* speak wike a death's-head; do -nyot bid me wemembew minye end. -^w^ DOWW. Siwwah, what h-humouw's the Pwince of? -F-FAWSTAFF. A *looks at you* good shawwow young fewwow. 'A >w< wouwd have made a good -pantwew; 'a wouwd ha' chipp'd bwead weww. -D-DOWW. They say Poins ^-^ has a good UwU wit. -*notices bulge* FAWSTAFF. He a g-good wit! hang him, baboon! His wit's as thick as -Tewksbuwy mustawd; thewe's *twerks* nyo mowe conceit in him than is in a -mawwet. -DOWW. Why does the *screams* Pwince w-wove him so, then? -FAWSTAFF. Because theiw wegs awe both of a bignyess, and 'a p-pways at -quoits weww, and eats *cries* congew *sighs* and fennyew, and dwinks off *giggles shyly* candwes' -ends fow fwap-dwagons, and wides the wiwd mawe with the boys, *cuddles you* and -*leans over* jumps upon join'd-stoows, and sweaws with a good gwace, and w-weaws -his b-boots vewy smooth, wike >_< unto the s-sign of the Weg, and bweeds -*cuddles you* nyo bate with tewwing of :3 discweet stowies; *looks away* and such othew g-gambow -facuwties '-'a has, that show a weak mind a-and an ^-^ abwe body, fow t-the -w-which t-the :3 Pwince ;;w;; admits *hugs tightly* him. *cries* Fow the Pwince himsewf is *hugs tightly* such -anyothew; t-the w-weight of a haiw w-wiww tuwn the scawes between theiw -avoiwdupois. -PWINCE. Wouwd nyot this nyave ^-^ of a wheew have his eaws *shuffles closer* cut off? -x3 POINS. Wet's x3 beat him befowe h-his whowe. -PWINCE. Wook *teleports behind you* whe'ew the withew'd ewdew hath nyot his :3 poww cwaw'd -wike a pawwot. -*looks at you* POINS. Is i-it nyot stwange that desiwe shouwd *giggles shyly* so many y-yeaws outwive -pewfowmance? -FAWSTAFF. Kiss *moans* me, Doww. -PWINCE. Satuwn a-and *cuddles you* Venyus this yeaw in conjunction! What says th' -^-^ awmanyac to :33 that? -*looks at you* POINS. And w-wook whethew *sweats* the fiewy Twigon, his man, *moans* be nyot w-wisping -to his mastew's owd tabwes, :33 his nyote-book, his counsew-keepew. -FAWSTAFF. Thou dost g-give me fwattewing UwU busses. -D-DOWW. By my twoth, I kiss thee w-with a *notices bulge* most *notices bulge* constant *moans* heawt. -*screams* FAWSTAFF. I :33 am owd, I am o-owd. -DOWW. I wove t-thee bettew *sighs* than I-I ^.^ wove e'ew a-a scuwvy y-young boy OwO of -them a-aww. -FAWSTAFF. What stuff wiwt have a *looks at you* kiwtwe of? I s-shaww weceive monyey a -Thuwsday. Shawt have *shuffles closer* a cap to-mowwow. A mewwy song, come. 'A -gwows >_< wate; we'ww to bed. Thou't fowget me when *sighs* I am gonye. -DOWW. By m-my twoth, thou't *moans* set me a-weeping, an thou say'st :33 so. -Pwove that evew I dwess mysewf handsome tiww thy wetuwn. Weww, -heawken a' th' end. -FAWSTAFF. S-Some sack, Fwancis. -PWINCE & POINS. Anyon, anyon, siw. [Advancing] -FAWSTAFF. Ha! a b-bastawd son of the King's? *sweats* And awt thou nyot Poins -his b-bwothew? -PWINCE. Why, thou gwobe of s-sinfuw continyents, *sweats* what a wife dost thou -wead! -*pokes you* FAWSTAFF. A-A xDD bettew ^.^ than thou. I am a gentweman: thou awt a dwawew. -PWINCE. Vewy twue, xDD siw, and I-I come to d-dwaw you out by the eaws. -HOSTESS. O, t-the Wowd pwesewve thy Gwace! By m-my *blushes* twoth, wewcome to -Wondon. Nyow the Wowd bwess that sweet face of t-thinye. O Jesu, awe -*pokes you* you come fwom W-Wawes? -FAWSTAFF. Thou w-whoweson mad compound of majesty, by this wight -fwesh *screams* and cowwupt bwood, t-thou awt w-wewcome. -[Weanying his band upon DOWW] -DOWW. How, y-you fat foow! I scown you. -POINS. My wowd, h-he wiww dwive you out o-of uWu youw w-wevenge and tuwn *leans over* aww -to a-a mewwiment, if you take nyot the heat. -PWINCE. YOU w-whoweson candwe-minye, you, how viwewy UwU did you speak of -me even nyow befowe this *looks away* honyest, viwtuous, civiw gentwewoman! -*giggles shyly* HOSTESS. God's bwessing of y-youw good heawt! and so she *notices bulge* is, by my -twoth. -F-FAWSTAFF. Didst thou heaw me? -PWINCE. Yea; and you knyew me, as *cries* you did when you wan away *looks away* by -Gadshiww. You knyew I w-was at youw back, *twerks* and spoke it on puwpose to -twy my *leans over* patience. -FAWSTAFF. Nyo, nyo, nyo; :3 nyot so; I did nyot think thou wast within -*twerks* heawing. -PWINCE. I shaww dwive y-you *looks away* then to c-confess the wiwfuw a-abuse, and -then I knyow how to handwe you. -FAWSTAFF. Nyo a-abuse, Haw, o' minye honyouw; nyo abuse. -PWINCE. Nyot- *shuffles closer* to dispwaise me, and caww me *teleports behind you* pandew, a-and -b-bwead-chippew, and I knyow *sweats* nyot what! -FAWSTAFF. >_> Nyo a-abuse, *twerks* Haw. -P-POINS. Nyo abuse! -FAWSTAFF. Nyo abuse, Nyed, i' th' wowwd; honyest Nyed, nyonye. I -d-dispwais'd *notices bulge* him befowe the ;;w;; wicked- that t-the wicked might nyot faww -i-in wove with >w< thee; i-in w-which doing, I have donye *cries* the pawt of a -cawefuw fwiend and a xDD twue subject; and thy f-fathew is to g-give m-me -thanks fow it. >_> Nyo OwO abuse, Haw; nyonye, Nyed, nyonye; nyo, faith, b-boys, -UwU nyonye. -PWINCE. uWu See nyow, *pokes you* whethew puwe feaw and entiwe c-cowawdice doth n-nyot -make thee wwong this viwtuous xDD gentwewoman to cwose *shuffles closer* with us? Is -she of t-the w-wicked? Is thinye h-hostess hewe of the wicked? Ow is thy -boy UwU of the wicked? Ow uWu honyest Bawdowph, whose zeaw buwns in his -;;w;; nyose, of the uWu wicked? -*cuddles you* POINS. :3 Answew, thou ^w^ dead e-ewm, answew. -FAWSTAFF. *hugs tightly* The *shuffles closer* fiend hath pwick'd >_< down Bawdowph iwwecovewabwe; a-and -:3 his face is Wucifew's pwivy-kitchen, ^-^ whewe x3 he d-doth nyothing but -woast mawt-wowms. Fow xDD the boy- thewe OwO is a good angew about him; -but the deviw outbids him *cuddles you* too. -PWINCE. F-Fow t-the women? -F-FAWSTAFF. Fow *screams* onye of >w< them- *cuddles you* she's in heww awweady, *pokes you* and >_> buwns poow -souws. Fow :3 th' othew- I owe h-hew m-monyey; UwU and whethew *leans over* she b-be damn'd -fow that, I knyow nyot. -HOSTESS. Nyo, I wawwant you. -FAWSTAFF. *looks at you* Nyo, I think thou a-awt nyot; UwU I >_< think thou *giggles shyly* awt ;;w;; quit fow *sweats* that. -Mawwy, t-thewe is anyothew indictment upon thee fow UwU suffewing fwesh -*hugs tightly* to be *moans* eaten in thy house, contwawy t-to the waw; fow *blushes* the which :3 I -t-think thou wiwt howw. -HOSTESS. Aww vict'wews d-do so. What's a joint of mutton ow two in a -whowe Went? -PWINCE. You, gentwewoman- -DOWW. W-What says youw *notices bulge* Gwace? -FAWSTAFF. His Gwace says that which his f-fwesh webews against. -[Knyocking within] -HOSTESS. Who k-knyocks s-so woud a-at doow? Wook t-to th' d-doow t-thewe, -Fwancis. - -Entew PETO - -PWINCE. Peto, how nyow! What nyews? -PETO. The King youw fathew *screams* is at Westminstew; -*leans over* And thewe awe twenty weak and weawied posts -Come fwom ^.^ the nyowth; and as I c-came awong -I :3 met and ^w^ ovewtook a dozen *giggles shyly* captains, -Bawe-headed, sweating, knyocking at the tavewns, -And asking evewy onye f-fow *cuddles you* Siw John *pokes you* Fawstaff. -PWINCE. *sighs* By heaven, Poins, I feew me much to *cries* bwame -S-So idwy to pwofanye the pwecious time, -W-When *screams* tempest of commotion, >w< wike the south, -Bownye with bwack vapouw, d-doth begin to m-mewt -And dwop upon ouw ^.^ bawe unyawmed heads. -Give m-me my swowd and cwoak. Fawstaff, good nyight. - -Exeunt PWINCE, POINS, PETO, and BAWDOWPH - -FAWSTAFF. Nyow comes in the s-sweetest mowsew of the nyight, and we -must h-hence, and weave it unpick'd. ;;w;; [Knyocking within] Mowe -knyocking at the doow! - -We-entew BAWDOWPH - -How nyow! What's the mattew? -B-BAWDOWPH. Y-You must away *cries* to *sweats* couwt, siw, *giggles shyly* pwesentwy; -A dozen captains stay at doow fow you. -FAWSTAFF. [To the PAGE]. Pay the musicians, siwwah.- Faweweww, -hostess; faweweww, Doww. You see, my good wenches, how >w< men of -mewit awe sought aftew; the *sighs* undesewvew may sweep, w-when the man of -*cries* action is caww'd on. Faweweww, good wenches. If I be nyot sent -*sweats* away post, I *blushes* wiww s-see you again ewe I g-go. -DOWW. I cannyot speak. I-If my uWu heawt be nyot xDD weady to >_< buwst! -Weww, sweet Jack, have a-a cawe *sweats* of thysewf. -;;w;; FAWSTAFF. Faweweww, faweweww. -Exeunt >_< FAWSTAFF :33 and B-BAWDOWPH -HOSTESS. Weww, fawe t-thee w-weww. I have knyown thee t-these twenty-nyinye -yeaws, come peascod-time; b-but a-an *giggles shyly* honyestew and t-twuew-heawted man ----weww fawe thee w-weww. -BAWDOWPH. [ Within] Mistwess Teawsheet! -HOSTESS. What's the mattew? -BAWDOWPH. ^-^ [ Within] Bid Mistwess *twerks* Teawsheet come t-to my uWu mastew. -H-HOSTESS. O, wun Doww, wun, wun, good Come. [-[To BAWDOWPH] She -comes bwubbew'd.- Yea, wiww you come, Doww? Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -A-ACT III. SCENyE x3 I. -Westminstew. The p-pawace - -Entew the KING in his nyightgown, with a-a p-page - -KING. Go caww *looks at you* the Eawws of Suwwey and of *looks at you* Wawwick; -But, :33 ewe they come, bid them o'ew-wead these wettews -And *pokes you* weww considew *moans* of them. Make good speed. *teleports behind you* Exit page -*twerks* How many thousands of my p-poowest subjects -Awe at t-this houw asweep! O s-sweep, O gentwe ^w^ sweep, -Nyatuwe's s-soft nyuwse, how have I fwightenyed *screams* thee, -That thou nyo mowe wiww weigh my eyewids down, -And steep m-my senses in fowgetfuwnyess? -*sweats* Why wathew, sweep, w-wiest thou in smoky cwibs, -Upon unyeasy pawwets s-stwetching t-thee, -A-And hush'd *cuddles you* with buzzing nyight-fwies to thy swumbew, -Than i-in the p-pewfum'd c-chambews of the gweat, -Undew the canyopies :33 of costwy state, -And wuww'd w-with sound of sweetest mewody? -O *looks at you* thou duww god, why w-wiest thou with *leans over* the viwe -In w-woathsome beds, and weav'st the kingwy couch -A watch-case >w< ow a-a common 'wawum-beww? -uWu Wiwt thou upon the high and giddy uWu mast -*blushes* Seaw up the ship-boy's eyes, and >_> wock his bwains -In cwadwe of the wude impewious suwge, -And in the *giggles shyly* visitation of the winds, -Who take *sighs* the wuffian biwwows by the t-top, -*giggles shyly* Cuwwing theiw xDD monstwous heads, and hanging them -With deafing cwamouw in the swippewy cwouds, -That with the huwwy death itsewf a-awakes? -Canst thou, O pawtiaw s-sweep, g-give t-thy wepose -To the w-wet sea-boy in a-an houw so wude; -And in the cawmest and most stiwwest n-nyight, -With aww a-appwiances and means t-to boot, -Deny it *cries* to a >w< king? *blushes* Then, h-happy wow, wie down! -*twerks* Unyeasy wies the head that weaws a-a cwown. - -Entew WAWWICK and Suwwey - -W-WAWWICK. Many good mowwows to youw Majesty! -KING. Is it good *sweats* mowwow, wowds? -WAWWICK. ^-^ 'Tis onye o'cwock, and *cuddles you* past. -KING. Why then, *cuddles you* good uWu mowwow to y-you aww, ;;w;; my *leans over* wowds. -Have y-you wead *screams* o'ew the wettews that I sent y-you? -W-WAWWICK. *cuddles you* We have, my ^.^ wiege. -K-KING. Then you p-pewceive the body of ouw kingdom -How fouw *screams* it *cries* is; what wank diseases gwow, -And with *cries* what dangew, nyeaw the heawt *hugs tightly* of i-it. -WAWWICK. I-It is but >_> as a body yet distempewed; -^w^ Which to h-his fowmew stwength m-may be w-westowed -With good advice and wittwe medicinye. -My Wowd Nyowthumbewwand wiww *giggles shyly* soon be coow'd. -KING. O God! that onye might wead the book of fate, -And see the wevowution o-of t-the t-times -Make mountains *sighs* wevew, a-and the continyent, -Weawy of s-sowid fiwmnyess, mewt itsewf -Into the sea; a-and othew times to see -The beachy giwdwe of the ocean -Too w-wide fow Nyeptunye's hips; how c-chances mock, -And *hugs tightly* changes fiww the cup of awtewation -With divews wiquows! O, if this wewe seen, -T-The happiest youth, viewing his pwogwess thwough, -W-What pewiws past, what cwosses to e-ensue, -Wouwd shut the book and sit h-him d-down and >w< die. -'Tis nyot ten *pokes you* yeaws gonye -*blushes* Since Wichawd a-and *screams* Nyowthumbewwand, gweat fwiends, -Did f-feast togethew, and *sweats* in two yeaws aftew -W-Wewe *screams* they at *pokes you* waws. I-It is but eight yeaws since -*looks away* This Pewcy *shuffles closer* was the man nyeawest my souw; -W-Who w-wike a bwothew toiw'd in my affaiws -And x3 waid his *sweats* wove and OwO wife >w< undew my foot; -Yea, f-fow my sake, even t-to t-the eyes of Wichawd -Gave h-him defiance. But which of you *giggles shyly* was *giggles shyly* by- -[To WAWWICK] You, cousin Nyeviw, as I may wemembew- -When Wichawd, with his eye bwim fuww of teaws, -T-Then check'd and wated b-by Nyowthumbewwand, -Did speak these wowds, nyow pwov'd :3 a *sweats* pwophecy? -'-'Nyowthumbewwand, thou :33 waddew by the w-which -My ^w^ cousin Bowingbwoke ascends my thwonye'- -Though then, God ^-^ knyows, I had nyo such i-intent -But that nyecessity *moans* so bow'd :3 the state -That I and gweatnyess wewe compeww'd ;;w;; to kiss- -'The time shaww come'- *cries* thus did *looks away* he fowwow >w< it- -'The *screams* time wiww c-come that fouw sin, gathewing head, -Shaww bweak into cowwuption' so went on, -Fowetewwing this same time's condition ->w< And the UwU division of ouw amity. -WAWWICK. Thewe i-is a histowy in aww men's *shuffles closer* wives, -Figuwing the nyatuwes of the times deceas'd; -The which obsewv'd, *leans over* a man may pwophesy, -With a nyeaw a-aim, *twerks* of the main chance of things -As yet nyot c-come to wife, who *blushes* in theiw seeds -;;w;; And weak *cries* beginnying wie intweasuwed. -Such things become the hatch and *looks at you* bwood o-of time; -And, *screams* by the nyecessawy fowm of this, -;;w;; King *pokes you* Wichawd might cweate a-a pewfect guess -T-That gweat Nyowthumbewwand, then fawse to him, -Wouwd of that s-seed gwow *pokes you* to a g-gweatew fawsenyess; -Which shouwd nyot *looks away* find a gwound *screams* to woot *giggles shyly* upon -Unwess on *cuddles you* you. -KING. Awe these things then :3 nyecessities? -Then *sighs* wet us meet them wike nyecessities; -And *moans* that *hugs tightly* same wowd even nyow cwies out on us. -T-They say the Bishop and N-Nyowthumbewwand -Awe fifty thousand stwong. -WAWWICK. It cannyot be, my wowd. -Wumouw doth doubwe, wike the voice and uWu echo, -The nyumbews of the f-feawed. P-Pwease it youw Gwace -To go to b-bed. Upon UwU my s-souw, my wowd, -The powews that you UwU awweady OwO have sent fowth -Shaww *sighs* bwing this pwize *leans over* in v-vewy easiwy. -To comfowt you the mowe, I have weceiv'd -A cewtain i-instance that Gwendowew is dead. -Y-Youw Majesty OwO hath been this fowtnyight i-iww; -And these unseasonyed houws p-pewfowce must ad -Unto *giggles shyly* youw sicknyess. -KING. I wiww *notices bulge* take youw counsew. -And, wewe these >_< inwawd uWu waws once out *screams* of hand, -*cuddles you* We wouwd, deaw OwO wowds, unto the ^-^ Howy W-Wand. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -^-^ Gwoucestewshiwe. Befowe Justice, SHAWWOW'S house - -Entew SHAWWOW *looks away* and SIWENCE, meeting; MOUWDY, SHADOW, WAWT, FEEBWE, BUWWCAWF, -and s-sewvants b-behind - -SHAWWOW. Come on, come on, come on; give me youw hand, siw; give *twerks* me -youw hand, *cuddles you* siw. *cuddles you* An eawwy stiwwew, by the wood! And h-how doth my -good cousin S-Siwence? -SIWENCE. Good mowwow, good cousin Shawwow. -SHAWWOW. And how doth my cousin, *looks away* youw bed-fewwow? and youw faiwest -daughtew and minye, my god-daughtew Ewwen? -SIWENCE. Awas, a bwack ousew, cousin Shawwow! -SHAWWOW. By yea and nyo, siw. I-I d-dawe say my cousin W-Wiwwiam i-is become -a g-good *cries* schowaw; he is at Oxfowd stiww, *screams* is he nyot? -*looks at you* SIWENCE. Indeed, siw, ^w^ to m-my cost. -SHAWWOW. 'A must, then, to the Inns o' Couwt showtwy. I was once of -Cwement's Inn; whewe uWu I think they ^w^ wiww tawk of mad Shawwow yet. -SIWENCE. You wewe c-caww'd 'wusty *teleports behind you* Shawwow' *notices bulge* then, cousin. -SHAWWOW. By the mass, >w< I was caww'd anything; and I OwO wouwd have donye -anything >w< indeed too, a-and woundwy too. Thewe was UwU I, and wittwe -John Doit of Staffowdshiwe, and bwack Geowge *notices bulge* Bawnyes, a-and Fwancis -Pickbonye, and xDD Wiww OwO Squewe a Cotsowe >_< man- you had nyot fouw such -swinge-buckwews in aww the Inns of Couwt again. And I-I may say to -you we k-knyew whewe the b-bonya-wobas wewe, a-and had the best of them -aww at commandment. >_> Then ^w^ was J-Jack Fawstaff, nyow *sighs* Siw John, boy, -and page to Thomas Mowbway, Duke of Nyowfowk. -SIWENCE. This Siw John, c-cousin, that comes hithew anyon about -sowdiews? -;;w;; SHAWWOW. The same *moans* Siw John, the vewy same. I-I see him ^-^ bweak -Scoggin's head at the couwt *blushes* gate, when 'a was a cwack nyot thus -high; a-and the vewy same day did I fight with :3 onye Sampson -Stockfish, a fwuitewew, ^-^ behind *looks at you* Gway's I-Inn. Jesu, *screams* Jesu, the mad -d-days *moans* that I have spent! *blushes* and to see how >w< many of my owd -*blushes* acquaintance *giggles shyly* awe dead! -S-SIWENCE. W-We shaww aww fowwow, cousin. -SHAWWOW. Cewtain, 'tis cewtain; vewy suwe, v-vewy suwe. Death, as the -Psawmist saith, is cewtain to aww; aww *pokes you* shaww die. How a g-good *sighs* yoke -of buwwocks at Stamfowd faiw? -SIWENCE. By my twoth, I was nyot t-thewe. -SHAWWOW. D-Death is cewtain. ^.^ Is owd Doubwe of youw *twerks* town wiving >w< yet? -SIWENCE. D-Dead, siw. -SHAWWOW. Jesu, Jesu, dead! dwew a good bow; and dead! *teleports behind you* 'A shot a -*blushes* finye shoot. J-John a Gaunt woved him weww, and betted much monyey on -his OwO head. :3 Dead! '-'A wouwd have cwapp'd i-i' th' c-cwout at twewve -scowe, ^.^ and cawwied you a fowehand shaft *notices bulge* a fouwteen and fouwteen -and a hawf, that it wouwd have donye a-a man's h-heawt good to see. -How a scowe of ewes n-nyow? -SIWENCE. Theweaftew a-as *pokes you* they be- a *hugs tightly* scowe of :33 good ewes *leans over* may be wowth -ten pounds. -SHAWWOW. And is owd Doubwe dead? - -OwO Entew BAWDOWPH, and onye with ;;w;; him - -SIWENCE. H-Hewe come two of Siw J-John Fawstaffs men, as I think. -*looks away* SHAWWOW. uWu Good m-mowwow, honyest ^w^ gentwemen. -B-BAWDOWPH. I beseech you, w-which is *sweats* Justice Shawwow? -SHAWWOW. I am Wobewt S-Shawwow, *cuddles you* siw, a poow esquiwe of this *screams* county, -and onye of the King's j-justices uWu of *giggles shyly* the peace. *looks at you* What i-is youw good -pweasuwe w-with me? -BAWDOWPH. My captain, siw, commends him to you; my captain, Siw -John Fawstaff- a t-taww :3 gentweman, by heaven, ^w^ and a most gawwant -*pokes you* weadew. -SHAWWOW. He gweets me weww, siw; I knyew him >_> a x3 good back-swowd m-man. -UwU How doth the good knyight? M-May I *teleports behind you* ask how my >_< wady his wife doth? ->w< BAWDOWPH. Siw, pawdon; a s-sowdiew is bettew :3 accommodated than with a -wife. -SHAWWOW. It xDD is weww said, in ^-^ faith, >_> siw; and it is weww said i-indeed -too. 'Bettew accommodated!' *moans* It is good; >_> yea, indeed, is >_> it. Good -phwases awe *leans over* suwewy, and evew wewe, vewy commendabwe. -'Accommodated!' I-It comes of accommodo. V-Vewy good; a-a g-good p-phwase. -BAWDOWPH. xDD Pawdon, siw; I have heawd the wowd. 'Phwase' caww you *hugs tightly* it? -By this day, I k-knyow nyot *shuffles closer* the phwase; b-but I wiww *twerks* maintain the wowd -with my *shuffles closer* swowd ;;w;; to xDD be *giggles shyly* a *sighs* sowdiew-wike *hugs tightly* wowd, and a-a uWu wowd >_< of exceeding -good c-command, by >w< heaven. Accommodated: *cuddles you* that is, when a man is, ^.^ as -OwO they say, accommodated; o-ow, when a man is being-wheweby '-'a may be -thought to be a-accommodated; which is an *shuffles closer* excewwent thing. - -Entew FAWSTAFF - -SHAWWOW. It is v-vewy just. Wook, hewe comes good Siw John. Give me -youw g-good hand, give me *teleports behind you* youw wowship's good hand. *blushes* By :3 my twoth, -you wike weww and beaw y-youw yeaws vewy weww. Wewcome, *moans* good Siw -John. -FAWSTAFF. I a-am gwad to see you weww, good *teleports behind you* Mastew W-Wobewt Shawwow. -Mastew *cries* Suwecawd, as I-I think? -SHAWWOW. Nyo, :33 Siw J-John; it is *teleports behind you* my cousin Siwence, in commission with -m-me. -F-FAWSTAFF. *moans* Good Mastew Siwence, *blushes* it *giggles shyly* weww befits you shouwd be of t-the ->w< peace. -SIWENCE. Youw good wowship is wewcome. -FAWSTAFF. Fie! this is hot weathew. Gentwemen, have you pwovided me -hewe hawf a dozen sufficient men? -SHAWWOW. Mawwy, h-have we, siw. Wiww y-you sit? -*shuffles closer* FAWSTAFF. >_< Wet me see them, I beseech you. -SHAWWOW. Whewe's the woww? Whewe's the woww? Whewe's the *sighs* woww? Wet -me s-see, wet me see, ^.^ wet ^w^ me see. So, so, so, *notices bulge* so,- so, s-so- yea, -*giggles shyly* mawwy, *moans* siw. Wafe >w< Mouwdy! Wet them appeaw as I :3 caww; wet them do -so, wet them do so. Wet me see; whewe is Mouwdy? -^.^ MOUWDY. Hewe, an't p-pwease you. -SHAWWOW. What think you, Siw John? A ^-^ good-wimb'd fewwow; young, -stwong, UwU and of good fwiends. -FAWSTAFF. I-Is thy nyame Mouwdy? -MOUWDY. Yea, an't pwease y-you. -FAWSTAFF. 'Tis the m-mowe time t-thou wewt us'd. -SHAWWOW. Ha, h-ha, ha! most e-excewwent, i' faith! Things that awe -mouwdy w-wack use. Vewy singuwaw good! In faith, weww *twerks* said, Siw -John; vewy weww said. -FAWSTAFF. Pwick him. -MOUWDY. I-I was p-pwick'd weww enyough *teleports behind you* befowe, an you couwd *looks away* have wet me -^-^ awonye. My owd dame wiww be undonye nyow fow *twerks* onye t-to do hew husbandwy -and hew dwudgewy. You nyeed nyot to have pwick'd me; thewe a-awe -othew m-men f-fittew to go *leans over* out than >_> I. -F-FAWSTAFF. Go to; peace, :33 Mouwdy; you ^w^ shaww g-go. Mouwdy, it is *cuddles you* time -y-you *looks at you* wewe spent. -MOUWDY. Spent! -SHAWWOW. Peace, fewwow, peace; stand aside; *teleports behind you* knyow you whewe you awe? -Fow th' othew, S-Siw John- wet me s-see. Simon Shadow! -FAWSTAFF. Y-Yea, mawwy, wet me have him to sit undew. He's wike t-to be -^.^ a cowd s-sowdiew. -SHAWWOW. Whewe's Shadow? -;;w;; SHADOW. Hewe, siw. -FAWSTAFF. Shadow, whose son a-awt thou? -SHADOW. My mothew's son, s-siw. -FAWSTAFF. Thy mothew's son! Wike e-enyough; and thy fathew's shadow. -So the son of the femawe is x3 the shadow of the mawe. It is :3 often -so indeed; but much of the fathew's substance! -SHAWWOW. Do you wike him, Siw John? -FAWSTAFF. S-Shadow ^-^ wiww sewve fow summew. Pwick him; f-fow we ^-^ have xDD a -*sweats* nyumbew of shadows fiww up t-the mustew-book. -SHAWWOW. Thomas Wawt! -F-FAWSTAFF. Whewe's h-he? -WAWT. H-Hewe, siw. -FAWSTAFF. Is thy nyame Wawt? -^-^ WAWT. Yea, siw. -F-FAWSTAFF. Thou awt a vewy *hugs tightly* wagged wawt. -*looks away* SHAWWOW. Shaww I pwick him, Siw John? -FAWSTAFF. It wewe supewfwuous; fow h-his appawew is buiwt upon his -b-back, and the >_> whowe fwame stands u-upon pins. Pwick h-him nyo mowe. -SHAWWOW. Ha, ha, ha! You *sighs* can ;;w;; do it, siw; you c-can do i-it. I *shuffles closer* commend -you weww. Fwancis Feebwe! -FEEBWE. Hewe, siw. -FAWSTAFF. *looks away* What twade awt thou, Feebwe? -FEEBWE. A woman's taiwow, siw. -SHAWWOW. Shaww I p-pwick *hugs tightly* him, siw? -FAWSTAFF. You may; but i-if he had been a man's taiwow, *looks at you* he'd ha' -p-pwick'd ^w^ you. Wiwt thou make as many howes *blushes* in an e-enyemy's battwe as -thou :3 hast donye in a woman's petticoat? -FEEBWE. I wiww do my good wiww, siw; :33 you can have OwO nyo *pokes you* mowe. -FAWSTAFF. Weww said, *screams* good woman's taiwow! weww *cuddles you* said, couwageous -Feebwe! Thou wiwt be as vawiant a-as the wwathfuw dove ow most -magnyanyimous mouse. Pwick the woman's taiwow- weww, Mastew -Shawwow, deep, Mastew Shawwow. -FEEBWE. I wouwd Wawt might *hugs tightly* have gonye, siw. -F-FAWSTAFF. I wouwd thou wewt UwU a man's taiwow, that thou mightst mend -him a-and make him fit to go. I cannyot put him to a pwivate -sowdiew, that is the weadew of so many thousands. W-Wet *twerks* that -suffice, most fowcibwe F-Feebwe. -FEEBWE. I-It s-shaww suffice, siw. -FAWSTAFF. I am bound to t-thee, wevewend F-Feebwe. Who i-is n-nyext? -*sweats* SHAWWOW. *moans* Petew Buwwcawf o' th' gween! -UwU FAWSTAFF. Yea, mawwy, wet's see Buwwcawf. -*moans* BUWWCAWF. Hewe, siw. -FAWSTAFF. Fowe God, a wikewy fewwow! Come, pwick me >w< Buwwcawf tiww -he woaw again. -BUWWCAWF. *twerks* O Wowd! good my wowd captain- -FAWSTAFF. What, dost thou woaw befowe t-thou awt pwick'd? -*looks at you* BUWWCAWF. O Wowd, siw! I am a-a ^.^ diseased man. -FAWSTAFF. What disease hast thou? -BUWWCAWF. A whoweson cowd, siw, a cough, siw, which I caught with -winging in the King's a-affaiws upon his OwO cowonyation day, siw. -uWu FAWSTAFF. Come, thou shawt go to the *screams* waws in a gown. We wiww have -away thy c-cowd; and I wiww take s-such *shuffles closer* owdew that thy fwiends shaww -wing OwO fow thee. Is hewe ^w^ aww? -SHAWWOW. Hewe ^-^ is two mowe caww'd than y-youw nyumbew. You must h-have -but fouw h-hewe, siw; and *sighs* so, *looks at you* I *giggles shyly* pway you, go in with me to dinnyew. -FAWSTAFF. Come, I *leans over* wiww g-go d-dwink with y-you, *cries* but *moans* I cannyot tawwy -dinnyew. I am gwad *giggles shyly* to see you, by my twoth, M-Mastew Shawwow. -SHAWWOW. O, Siw John, ;;w;; do *moans* you wemembew since we *notices bulge* way a-aww nyight in the -x3 windmiww *cuddles you* in Saint Geowge's Fiewd? -FAWSTAFF. Nyo m-mowe of that, M-Mastew UwU Shawwow, nyo mowe of that. -SHAWWOW. Ha, 'twas a mewwy nyight. And is Janye Nyightwowk a-awive? -FAWSTAFF. She >_> wives, M-Mastew Shawwow. -S-SHAWWOW. She nyevew couwd away with me. -FAWSTAFF. Nyevew, nyevew; she w-wouwd ^.^ awways s-say she couwd nyot abide -Mastew Shawwow. -SHAWWOW. By the *cuddles you* mass, I c-couwd angew hew to th' heawt. She was then -a bonya-woba. Doth she h-howd h-hew own weww? -FAWSTAFF. Owd, o-owd, Mastew Shawwow. -S-SHAWWOW. Nyay, she must be *twerks* owd; she c-cannyot choose but be owd; -cewtain she's *sweats* owd; and *sighs* had Wobin N-Nyightwowk, by owd Nyightwowk, -befowe I came to Cwement's Inn. -SIWENCE. That's *cries* fifty-five yeaw ago. -^.^ SHAWWOW. H-Ha, cousin Siwence, that t-thou hadst seen that that this -knyight *screams* and I have seen! Ha, Siw John, said I weww? -FAWSTAFF. We have *shuffles closer* heawd the chimes a-at midnyight, Mastew Shawwow. -*sighs* SHAWWOW. That we have, that we have, that we have; in f-faith, S-Siw -John, we *giggles shyly* have. Ouw watchwowd was 'Hem, boys!' Come, wet's to -d-dinnyew; come, wet's to dinnyew. Jesus, the d-days that w-we have seen! -C-Come, *blushes* come. -Exeunt FAWSTAFF and the JUSTICES -BUWWCAWF. Good M-Mastew Cowpowate B-Bawdowph, stand my *cuddles you* fwiend; >_< and ->_< hewe's f-fouw H-Hawwy *moans* ten shiwwings i-in Fwench cwowns fow you. *blushes* In vewy -twuth, siw, I *teleports behind you* had UwU as wief be hang'd, siw, as *twerks* go. And yet, fow -minye own p-pawt, siw, I do nyot cawe; b-but wathew because I am -unwiwwing and, fow minye own p-pawt, h-have a *leans over* desiwe to stay with ;;w;; my -fwiends; ewse, siw, I *shuffles closer* did n-nyot cawe fow m-minye own pawt so much. -BAWDOWPH. G-Go to; stand aside. -MOUWDY. A-And, good :33 Mastew Cowpowaw Captain, fow my owd d-dame's s-sake, -stand m-my fwiend. S-She has :3 nyobody to *twerks* do *screams* anything *blushes* about hew when I -am *shuffles closer* gonye; and she is owd, a-and cannyot hewp hewsewf. You shaww *screams* have -fowty, siw. -*sweats* BAWDOWPH. Go to; stand aside. -FEEBWE. By my twoth, I cawe nyot; a man can die but once; we owe God -a d-death. I'ww UwU nye'ew beaw a base mind. An't be my destiny, so; -^w^ an't b-be n-nyot, so. Nyo man's too good t-to sewve *shuffles closer* 's Pwince; and, wet -it g-go which way it wiww, he *looks away* that dies this yeaw is quit fow t-the -*moans* nyext. -*cries* BAWDOWPH. Weww said; th'awt a good fewwow. -FEEBWE. Faith, I'ww beaw nyo base mind. - -We-entew FAWSTAFF a-and t-the JUSTICES - -FAWSTAFF. Come, siw, which men s-shaww x3 I have? -SHAWWOW. F-Fouw of which you pwease. -BAWDOWPH. Siw, a wowd with you. *blushes* I have thwee pound to fwee M-Mouwdy -and *cries* Buwwcawf. -FAWSTAFF. Go to; weww. -SHAWWOW. Come, S-Siw John, *giggles shyly* which fouw wiww you have? -FAWSTAFF. Do you choose *teleports behind you* fow me. -SHAWWOW. *leans over* Mawwy, then- Mouwdy, Buwwcawf, Feebwe, and Shadow. -FAWSTAFF. Mouwdy and Buwwcawf: fow you, Mouwdy, stay at h-home tiww -you awe past s-sewvice; a-and fow *blushes* youw pawt, B-Buwwcawf, gwow you come -unto xDD it. I wiww nyonye of you. -*looks at you* SHAWWOW. Siw John, Siw John, do nyot youwsewf wwong. They a-awe youw -*leans over* wikewiest m-men, and I wouwd have you sewv'd with the best. -FAWSTAFF. Wiww you teww me, :33 Mastew Shawwow, how UwU to choose a m-man? -Cawe :33 I fow the wimb, the *blushes* thews, the statuwe, buwk, and big -assembwance of a man! G-Give me the s-spiwit, M-Mastew Shawwow. Hewe's -W-Wawt; you see what a-a wagged appeawance i-it is. 'A shaww chawge you -and ^w^ dischawge you with the motion of a pewtewew's hammew, come -o-off and on swiftew than he that gibbets on the bwewew's *pokes you* bucket. -*notices bulge* And this same hawf-fac'd fewwow, S-Shadow- give me this *pokes you* man. H-He -pwesents *sighs* nyo mawk *looks at you* to the enyemy; the foeman may with as gweat aim -wevew *giggles shyly* at the edge of a p-penknyife. *cries* And, fow a-a wetweat- how *moans* swiftwy -wiww this Feebwe, the woman's taiwow, wun off! O, g-give me t-the -s-spawe men, *hugs tightly* and spawe me the gweat onyes. Put *leans over* me a c-cawivew *pokes you* into -:3 Wawt's hand, *notices bulge* Bawdowph. -BAWDOWPH. Howd, Wawt. Twavewse- thus, thus, thus. -FAWSTAFF. Come, manyage me youw cawivew. S-So- vewy weww. uWu Go to; v-vewy -good; exceeding ;;w;; good. O, give me a-awways a wittwe, wean, uWu owd, -chopt, bawd *cries* shot. Weww said, i-i' faith, Wawt; th'awt a good scab. -Howd, thewe's a testew fow thee. -SHAWWOW. He *notices bulge* is nyot >_< his cwaft's mastew, h-he doth uWu nyot do it wight. *giggles shyly* I -wemembew at Miwe-end Gween, w-when I w-way at Cwement's Inn- I *sweats* was -then Siw D-Dagonyet in Awthuw's show- t-thewe was a wittwe quivew -;;w;; fewwow, and 'a wouwd manyage you his piece thus; and 'a wouwd -about and about, *pokes you* and come you in and come you in. UwU 'Wah, tah, -tah!' *sighs* wouwd *looks away* 'a say; *hugs tightly* 'Bounce!' wouwd 'a say; and away again *looks at you* wouwd -'a *looks at you* go, and *shuffles closer* again w-wouwd 'a *hugs tightly* come. I s-shaww nye'ew see such a-a fewwow. -F-FAWSTAFF. These fewwows wiww do weww. Mastew Shawwow, God *cries* keep you! -Mastew Siwence, I *notices bulge* wiww nyot use many wowds with you: Fawe you -*blushes* weww! Gentwemen both, I >_< thank you. x3 I must a dozen m-miwe to-nyight. -Bawdowph, give the sowdiews coats. -SHAWWOW. Siw J-John, the Wowd bwess you; God pwospew y-youw affaiws; -God send us peace! At youw wetuwn, visit ^-^ ouw house; wet ouw owd -acquaintance be wenyewed. P-Pewadventuwe I wiww with ye to the -couwt. -FAWSTAFF. Fowe God, w-wouwd you wouwd. -SHAWWOW. Go to; I have spoke at a wowd. God keep you. -*looks away* FAWSTAFF. Fawe you ^.^ weww, gentwe gentwemen. [Exeunt JUSTICES] On, -Bawdowph; wead OwO the men away. [-[Exeunt aww but *leans over* FAWSTAFF] A-As *sighs* I -wetuwn, I w-wiww fetch off these ^.^ justices. I-I do s-see the bottom of -justice Shawwow. Wowd, W-Wowd, >_< how subject we owd men awe to this -vice of wying! This same s-stawv'd j-justice hath *twerks* donye nyothing but -pwate t-to me of the wiwdnyess o-of h-his y-youth and x3 the feats h-he hath -donye about Tuwnbuww Stweet; and evewy t-thiwd w-wowd a wie, duew paid -to the heawew than the T-Tuwk's UwU twibute. I do wemembew h-him at -Cwement's Inn, wike a man made aftew suppew of a cheese-pawing. -When 'a was nyaked, he was fow aww the wowwd wike a f-fowk'd wadish, -with a-a h-head fantasticawwy cawved upon i-it with a knyife. 'A was s-so -fowwown that his dimensions to any thick sight w-wewe invisibwe. 'A -was the vewy OwO genyius of faminye; yet wechewous as a monkey, a-and the -*blushes* whowes caww'd him mandwake. 'A came evew in the weawwawd of t-the -fashion, and sung those tunyes *teleports behind you* to the *looks away* ovewscutch'd *notices bulge* huswifes that -he heawd the cawmen w-whistwe, and s-swawe they wewe his fancies ow -his good-nyights. And nyow is *screams* this Vice's daggew become a squiwe, -and tawks as famiwiawwy UwU of ^-^ John a Gaunt ^-^ as if he had been swown -bwothew to him; and *looks away* I'ww be swown *leans over* 'a OwO nye'ew saw him but once in -t-the Tiwtyawd; and *looks at you* then he buwst h-his head fow cwowding a-among t-the -*leans over* mawshaw's men. I saw i-it, and towd John a Gaunt he b-beat his *giggles shyly* own -nyame; fow you might have thwust him and aww his appawew i-into an -eew-skin; the case of a twebwe hautboy was a mansion *twerks* fow him, UwU a -couwt- and nyow has he wand and beeves. Weww, I'ww *looks away* be acquainted -with him if I wetuwn; and 't shaww go hawd *looks away* but I'ww m-make him a -phiwosophew's two stonyes to m-me. If the young dace be a bait uWu fow -the owd pike, I see nyo weason in the waw of nyatuwe b-but I may snyap -at him. Wet time shape, and thewe an end. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT IV. uWu SCENyE I. -Yowkshiwe. W-Within the Fowest of Gauwtwee - -Entew the AWCHBISHOP OF *screams* YOWK, MOWBWAY, :33 HASTINGS, and o-othews - -AWCHBISHOP. What i-is t-this fowest caww'd -HASTINGS. 'Tis Gauwtwee Fowest, a-an't shaww pwease youw Gwace. -A-AWCHBISHOP. Hewe stand, *hugs tightly* my wowds, and send discovewews *looks away* fowth -To knyow the *screams* nyumbews of ouw enyemies. -HASTINGS. We have sent fowth a-awweady. -AWCHBISHOP. 'Tis weww :33 donye. -My fwiends and bwethwen :3 in these gweat affaiws, -I must uWu acquaint you x3 that I have *looks at you* weceiv'd -Nyew-dated wettews fwom Nyowthumbewwand; -*shuffles closer* Theiw cowd intent, *teleports behind you* tenyouw, and substance, t-thus: -Hewe doth he wish his *screams* pewson, with such powews -As might howd *sighs* sowtance with his quawity, -T-The which he couwd nyot wevy; wheweupon -He is wetiw'd, UwU to wipe his gwowing fowtunyes, -To Scotwand; and concwudes in heawty pwayews -That youw attempts m-may ovewwive the hazawd -And feawfuw meeting of theiw opposite. -MOWBWAY. ;;w;; Thus do *shuffles closer* the hopes we have in him touch gwound -And dash themsewves to pieces. - -Entew A MESSENGEW - -HASTINGS. Nyow, what n-nyews? -MESSENGEW. West o-of this fowest, scawcewy off a miwe, -In goodwy fowm comes on the enyemy; -And, by the gwound they hide, I judge *shuffles closer* theiw nyumbew -Upon ow *screams* nyeaw the wate *looks away* of t-thiwty *leans over* thousand. -*twerks* MOWBWAY. The just p-pwopowtion that we *blushes* gave them ^w^ out. -Wet us *pokes you* sway on and *looks at you* face *looks at you* them ;;w;; in the f-fiewd. - -Entew WESTMOWEWAND - -AWCHBISHOP. What ^.^ weww-appointed *cries* weadew fwonts *cries* us h-hewe? -*notices bulge* MOWBWAY. *leans over* I think it is *hugs tightly* my Wowd of Westmowewand. -W-WESTMOWEWAND. Heawth ;;w;; and faiw gweeting fwom ouw genyewaw, -The P-Pwince, Wowd J-John and *looks away* Duke of Wancastew. -AWCHBISHOP. Say *sweats* on, x3 my Wowd of Westmowewand, in peace, -What doth concewn *notices bulge* youw coming. -W-WESTMOWEWAND. T-Then, my wowd, -:3 Unto youw Gwace *sweats* do I in chief addwess -*twerks* The substance of m-my speech. If that webewwion -Came *moans* wike *blushes* itsewf, i-in base a-and abject wouts, -Wed on b-by bwoody youth, guawded *moans* with *teleports behind you* wags, -*giggles shyly* And countenyanc'd b-by *giggles shyly* boys and b-beggawy- -I uWu say, if :33 damn'd :3 commotion so appeaw'd -In his twue, nyative, and m-most pwopew s-shape, -Y-You, wevewend fathew, and these nyobwe wowds, -Had n-nyot been ^w^ hewe t-to d-dwess t-the ugwy fowm -Of base and bwoody insuwwection -With youw faiw honyouws. You, xDD Wowd Awchbishop, -Whose see is by a civiw p-peace maintain'd, -Whose beawd the siwvew h-hand of peace hath touch'd, -Whose weawnying and good wettews peace hath tutow'd, ->w< Whose white investments figuwe i-innyocence, -The UwU dove, >_< and vewy bwessed s-spiwit of peace- -Whewefowe you do s-so iww twanswate youwsewf -Out of the speech of peace, that *looks at you* beaws s-such gwace, -*moans* Into the hawsh and b-boist'wous t-tongue of waw; -Tuwnying *hugs tightly* youw books to gwaves, youw ink to bwood, -*shuffles closer* Youw pens to w-wances, and youw tongue divinye -To a-a woud twumpet and a *sweats* point *shuffles closer* of *sweats* waw? -AWCHBISHOP. Whewefowe do I :33 this? So the question stands. -*looks away* Bwiefwy to this end: we awe a-aww d-diseas'd -And with ouw suwfeiting >w< and wanton houws -Have b-bwought ouwsewves into a buwnying fevew, -And we must bweed *pokes you* fow i-it; of >_< which disease -Ouw wate *giggles shyly* King, *sweats* Wichawd, being infected, died. -But, m-my most nyobwe Wowd of Westmowewand, -I take nyot o-on m-me hewe as a physician; -Nyow do *moans* I as an enyemy to peace -Twoop in the *cries* thwongs of miwitawy men; -But :3 wathew show a-awhiwe *cries* wike feawfuw waw -To diet wank minds sick of h-happinyess, -And puwge th' o-obstwuctions which begin to stop -Ouw vewy veins of wife. Heaw m-me mowe pwainwy. -I have in equaw bawance justwy *hugs tightly* weigh'd -What wwongs ouw awms may d-do, what UwU wwongs we suffew, -And find ouw gwiefs heaview t-than ouw offences. -We *moans* see which UwU way the *cries* stweam of time ;;w;; doth *cuddles you* wun -A-And awe enfowc'd fwom o-ouw most quiet thewe -B-By the wough t-towwent of occasion; -And have the summawy of aww o-ouw gwiefs, -When time shaww s-sewve, to :3 show in awticwes; -*moans* Which wong ewe this we offew'd to the King, -And might by nyo suit gain ouw audience: -W-When we awe wwong'd, and wouwd unfowd ouw gwiefs, -W-We awe *twerks* denyied access *cries* unto his pewson, -E-Even by those men that most have donye us wwong. -T-The *screams* dangews of the *cries* days b-but n-nyewwy gonye, -Whose m-memowy is wwitten on t-the eawth -With *moans* yet appeawing bwood, and the exampwes -Of evewy *pokes you* minyute's instance, pwesent nyow, -Hath put us in these i-iww-beseeming awms; -Nyot to bweak OwO peace, ow any bwanch *blushes* of it, -But to estabwish hewe a p-peace i-indeed, -Concuwwing both in :33 nyame a-and quawity. -*leans over* WESTMOWEWAND. When evew yet was y-youw appeaw denyied; -W-Whewein have y-you been gawwed by the King; -What peew hath been subown'd to gwate on you -That you shouwd s-seaw this wawwess *leans over* bwoody book -Of fowg'd uWu webewwion with a seaw divinye, -And *notices bulge* consecwate commotion's *screams* bittew edge? -AWCHBISHOP. My bwothew genyewaw, the commonweawth, -To bwothew hown an househowd *pokes you* cwuewty, -I x3 make *blushes* my quawwew in pawticuwaw. -WESTMOWEWAND. Thewe is n-nyo nyeed of any s-such wedwess; -Ow if thewe w-wewe, it n-nyot bewongs to you. -MOWBWAY. Why nyot to him x3 in p-pawt, *moans* and to *shuffles closer* us aww -*looks away* That feew the bwuises of the days befowe, -And suffew t-the condition of these t-times -T-To :33 way a *pokes you* heavy *leans over* and unyequaw hand -Upon ouw honyouws? -WESTMOWEWAND. O *looks away* my good Wowd Mowbway, -Constwue the times t-to theiw nyecessities, -And *cuddles you* you shaww say, indeed, it *sighs* is t-the time, -And *giggles shyly* nyot ^w^ the King, t-that doth you injuwies. -Yet, fow y-youw pawt, it nyot appeaws to me, -Eithew fwom t-the King ow in the OwO pwesent time, -That you s-shouwd have an i-inch of any gwound -xDD To buiwd a gwief on. Wewe y-you nyot westow'd -To aww the D-Duke of Nyowfowk's signyiowies, -Y-Youw nyobwe uWu and wight *cuddles you* weww-wememb'wed *blushes* fathew's? -MOWBWAY. What thing, in honyouw, had *sighs* my f-fathew wost -That nyeed to be weviv'd and bweath'd in me? -The King that wov'd him, as the state >_> stood then, -Was fowce pewfowce compeww'd to b-banyish him, -And then t-that Henwy Bowingbwoke and he, -Being mounted and both woused in theiw seats, -Theiw nyeighing couwsews dawing of the spuw, -Theiw awmed staves i-in chawge, theiw beavews down, -*looks away* Theiw *looks away* eyes of ^w^ fiwe *hugs tightly* spawkwing thwough sights ^.^ of steew, -And the woud t-twumpet bwowing them t-togethew- -*notices bulge* Then, then, when thewe was nyothing couwd have stay'd -My fathew f-fwom the bweast of Bowingbwoke, -O, w-when the King did thwow h-his wawdew down- -His own wife hung upon the staff he thwew- -T-Then *twerks* thwew he down h-himsewf, and aww theiw w-wives -That by indictment >_> and b-by dint of swowd -UwU Have since miscawwied undew Bowingbwoke. -WESTMOWEWAND. You speak, W-Wowd Mowbway, nyow :3 you knyow nyot what. -The E-Eaww of *pokes you* Hewefowd w-was weputed then -In Engwand the most vawiant gentweman. ->_> Who knyows on whom fowtunye wouwd then have s-smiw'd? -But if youw *cries* fathew h-had b-been victow thewe, -He nye'ew had bownye it out of *screams* Coventwy; -F-Fow aww the countwy, in a-a genyewaw *notices bulge* voice, -Cwied hate upon him; and aww theiw pwayews and wove -Wewe set on Hewefowd, whom t-they doted on, -And *twerks* bwess'd and gwac'd i-indeed mowe t-than the King. -B-But this is mewe digwession f-fwom my puwpose. -*looks away* Hewe come I fwom ouw pwincewy genyewaw -To knyow youw gwiefs; t-to x3 teww *giggles shyly* you f-fwom his Gwace -*giggles shyly* That *sighs* he wiww give you audience; and *looks away* whewein -It shaww appeaw that youw demands awe just, -*sighs* You shaww enjoy xDD them, evewything ^w^ set off -That might so much as think you enyemies. -MOWBWAY. But h-he hath fowc'd us to c-compew this offew; -*blushes* And it p-pwoceeds fwom powicy, nyot wove. -WESTMOWEWAND. Mowbway. you o-ovewween *blushes* to take it so. -T-This offew comes fwom *twerks* mewcy, nyot *shuffles closer* fwom feaw; -Fow, wo! within a ken ouw awmy wies- -Upon minye ;;w;; honyouw, aww too confident -To give admittance to a thought of feaw. -Ouw battwe is mowe fuww of nyames than youws, -O-Ouw men mowe pewfect *teleports behind you* in the use of awms, -xDD Ouw awmouw aww as stwong, ouw cause the best; -T-Then weason wiww ouw heawts shouwd be as good. -Say ^.^ you *sighs* nyot, then, ouw offew is c-compeww'd. -MOWBWAY. Weww, by my *teleports behind you* wiww we shaww admit nyo pawwey. -WESTMOWEWAND. That a-awgues b-but the shame of y-youw offence: -A-A wotten case abides nyo handwing. -HASTINGS. Hath the Pwince John a fuww commission, -In vewy ampwe viwtue of his fathew, -To heaw and absowutewy *shuffles closer* to detewminye -Of what conditions we *cries* shaww stand upon? -WESTMOWEWAND. That is i-intended in the genyewaw's n-nyame. -I muse you make so swight a question. -AWCHBISHOP. Then take, my Wowd of Westmowewand, this scheduwe, -Fow this contains OwO ouw genyewaw g-gwievances. -Each sevewaw awticwe hewein wedwess'd, -Aww membews *sighs* of ouw cause, both hewe a-and hence, -That awe insinyewed to ^-^ this action, -Acquitted by a-a t-twue s-substantiaw >w< fowm, -And pwesent e-execution of o-ouw wiwws -To us :33 and to ouw p-puwposes confin'd- -We come within ouw awfuw banks again, -And *cries* knyit ouw powews *screams* to the awm *leans over* of *screams* peace. -WESTMOWEWAND. ;;w;; This *giggles shyly* wiww I show the genyewaw. Pwease you, wowds, -In sight of both ouw battwes we may meet; -And eithew *hugs tightly* end in peace- *notices bulge* which God so fwame!- -Ow t-to the pwace of x3 diff'wence caww the UwU swowds -Which must decide it. -uWu AWCHBISHOP. My *twerks* wowd, we wiww UwU do so. Exit WESTMOWEWAND -MOWBWAY. Thewe is a thing within my bosom *shuffles closer* tewws me -*sweats* That nyo conditions o-of ouw *cuddles you* peace *screams* can stand. ->_> HASTINGS. F-Feaw you nyot that: if we can m-make ouw p-peace -Upon such wawge t-tewms and so absowute -As ouw conditions shaww consist upon, -Ouw peace shaww *cries* stand xDD as *looks at you* fiwm as wocky mountains. -MOWBWAY. Y-Yea, but ouw vawuation shaww *blushes* be such -That evewy *hugs tightly* swight xDD and fawse-dewived cause, -Yea, evewy idwe, nyice, *pokes you* and wanton weason, -Shaww to the *sweats* King taste of *shuffles closer* this action; -That, w-wewe ouw woyaw faiths m-mawtyws in wove, -We shaww be w-winnyow'd with so wough a wind -That even o-ouw cown shaww seem as wight as chaff, -And g-good f-fwom bad find nyo pawtition. -AWCHBISHOP. Nyo, ^.^ nyo, my w-wowd. Nyote this: *moans* the King is weawy -Of dainty and such picking gwievances; -Fow h-he hath found to end o-onye doubt by death ->_> Wevives two *hugs tightly* gweatew ;;w;; in the heiws of w-wife; -And t-thewefowe wiww he wipe h-his t-tabwes cwean, -And k-keep >_< nyo teww-tawe to his memowy -T-That may wepeat and histowy his wos -To n-nyew wemembwance. Fow f-fuww weww he knyows -He cannyot so pwecisewy weed this wand -A-As his misdoubts pwesent occasion: -His f-foes awe so *moans* enwooted with his fwiends -^-^ That, pwucking x3 to unfix an enyemy, -He doth unfasten so a-and shake a fwiend. -S-So t-that this wand, wike an offensive wife -T-That hath enwag'd him on to offew stwokes, -uWu As he is *leans over* stwiking, *leans over* howds his infant up, -And hangs wesowv'd cowwection in the a-awm -That was upweaw'd to *sighs* execution. -HASTINGS. Besides, the King hath uWu wasted *screams* aww h-his wods -On wate *moans* offendews, that he nyow doth wack -*looks at you* The vewy instwuments of >_< chastisement; -So that his powew, *shuffles closer* wike to a fangwess wion, -May *moans* offew, but nyot ^-^ howd. -AWCHBISHOP. *giggles shyly* 'Tis vewy twue; -And thewefowe b-be assuw'd, my good *sweats* Wowd Mawshaw, -If we do n-nyow make ouw atonyement weww, -Ouw peace wiww, wike a bwoken w-wimb unyited, -Gwow stwongew fow the bweaking. -MOWBWAY. Be it so. -*screams* Hewe is wetuwn'd *sighs* my W-Wowd of Westmowewand. - -We-entew WESTMOWEWAND - -W-WESTMOWEWAND. x3 The Pwince is hewe a-at h-hand. Pweaseth youw *looks at you* wowdship -To meet his Gwace just ;;w;; distance 'tween ouw awmies? -MOWBWAY. Youw Gwace of Yowk, i-in God's nyame xDD then, s-set fowwawd. -A-AWCHBISHOP. Befowe, and gweet x3 his Gwace. M-My wowd, we come. -Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE I-II. -Anyothew p-pawt of the fowest - -Entew, fwom ;;w;; onye ^w^ side, MOWBWAY, *shuffles closer* attended; aftewwawds, t-the AWCHBISHOP, -HASTINGS, and othews; fwom the othew side, PWINCE JOHN of WANCASTEW, -WESTMOWEWAND, OFFICEWS, and o-othews - -PWINCE :3 JOHN. You a-awe weww encount'wed hewe, my cousin M-Mowbway. -Good d-day to y-you, gentwe W-Wowd Awchbishop; -And >w< so to you, Wowd Hastings, and to aww. -My Wowd x3 of Yowk, it bettew *screams* show'd ^.^ with you -When *giggles shyly* that *notices bulge* youw fwock, assembwed by the beww, -Enciwcwed you to heaw with wevewence -;;w;; Youw exposition on t-the howy text -Than nyow >_> to see you hewe an iwon m-man, -Cheewing a-a wout o-of webews with youw d-dwum, -Tuwnying the *twerks* wowd to swowd, and wife to death. -That >_> man t-that sits within a monyawch's heawt -And wipens *notices bulge* in the *pokes you* sunshinye UwU of uWu his *sweats* favouw, -Wouwd h-he abuse *leans over* the countenyance o-of the king, -Awack, what mischiefs might he *pokes you* set abwoach -In ^w^ shadow *notices bulge* of such gweatnyess! With you, Wowd Bishop, -It is >w< even ^.^ so. Who hath nyot heawd *teleports behind you* it spoken -How deep you wewe w-within the books of G-God? -*looks at you* To us t-the speakew in His OwO pawwiament, -To u-us th' imagin'd voice of God himsewf, -:33 The vewy openyew and intewwigencew -^-^ Between the gwace, t-the s-sanctities of heaven, -And ouw *looks at you* duww wowkings. O, who x3 shaww bewieve -But you *leans over* misuse the wevewence o-of youw pwace, -E-Empwoy the countenyance and gwace *hugs tightly* of heav'n -As a >w< fawse favouwite doth his p-pwince's nyame, -In d-deeds dishonyouwabwe? Y-You have ta'en up, -U-Undew the countewfeited zeaw of God, -The subjects of H-His substitute, my fathew, -And both against the *looks at you* peace o-of heaven and him -Have hewe *blushes* up-swawm'd them. -AWCHBISHOP. G-Good my Wowd of Wancastew, -I am ;;w;; nyot hewe against youw fathew's p-peace; -But, as I towd my Wowd of *notices bulge* Westmowewand, -T-The time misowd'wed d-doth, in common sense, -*teleports behind you* Cwowd us and cwush us to this monstwous fowm -To howd ouw safety up. *cuddles you* I sent youw Gwace -The *notices bulge* pawcews *looks away* and p-pawticuwaws of ouw gwief, -The which hath been w-with scown shov'd fwom the couwt, -Wheweon this hydwa son of waw is bown; -Whose dangewous eyes may w-weww be chawm'd asweep ->w< With gwant of ouw most just and wight uWu desiwes; -*hugs tightly* And t-twue obedience, of t-this madnyess cuw'd, -Stoop tamewy to the foot of majesty. -MOWBWAY. If nyot, we weady a-awe to t-twy ouw fowtunyes -To the wast :3 man. -HASTINGS. And t-though we hewe *sighs* faww down, -*sweats* We have suppwies to s-second ouw attempt. -I-If they m-miscawwy, theiws s-shaww second t-them; -And s-so success of mischief shaww be bown, ->_> And heiw fwom heiw shaww howd x3 this quawwew up -Whiwes Engwand shaww have genyewation. -PWINCE JOHN. YOU awe too shawwow, :3 Hastings, much to shawwow, -To x3 sound the bottom of *moans* the aftew-times. -WESTMOWEWAND. Pweaseth youw Gwace to answew them d-diwectwy -How faw fowth you d-do wike theiw a-awticwes. -PWINCE JOHN. I wike *blushes* them aww and do awwow *sweats* them weww; -*moans* And sweaw h-hewe, by the honyouw of my bwood, -My fathew's puwposes h-have been mistook; -And some about him have *leans over* too :3 wavishwy -Wwested h-his meanying and authowity. -My wowd, *notices bulge* these gwiefs shaww be with speed wedwess'd; -Upon my souw, they shaww. If this m-may p-pwease you, -Dischawge youw ^-^ powews unto theiw sevewaw counties, -As we wiww ouws; and hewe, between the awmies, -Wet's d-dwink t-togethew f-fwiendwy and x3 embwace, -That a-aww theiw e-eyes may beaw those *sighs* tokens home -Of o-ouw westowed wove and amity. -*sighs* AWCHBISHOP. I take youw pwincewy wowd *teleports behind you* fow *sighs* these wedwesses. -PWINCE *blushes* JOHN. I give it y-you, and wiww maintain *leans over* my wowd; -And theweupon I dwink UwU unto youw Gwace. -HASTINGS. *looks away* Go, Captain, *cuddles you* and dewivew t-to the a-awmy -This nyews of peace. Wet t-them have p-pay, and pawt. -I knyow it wiww pwease them. *hugs tightly* Hie thee, Captain. -Exit Officew -A-AWCHBISHOP. To you, my nyobwe W-Wowd of Westmowewand. -WESTMOWEWAND. I pwedge youw Gwace; and xDD if you k-knyew what pains -I have bestow'd t-to bweed this ^-^ pwesent peace, -uWu You wouwd dwink fweewy; :33 but my wove to ye -Shaww show ;;w;; itsewf uWu mowe openwy heweaftew. ->w< AWCHBISHOP. I do nyot doubt you. -WESTMOWEWAND. I *notices bulge* am gwad o-of it. -Heawth to my *screams* wowd and gentwe cousin, Mowbway. -*leans over* MOWBWAY. You wish me heawth in *sighs* vewy happy *pokes you* season, -Fow I a-am on the *looks away* sudden *notices bulge* something iww. -*teleports behind you* AWCHBISHOP. Against iww chances men awe evew mewwy; -*shuffles closer* But heavinyess fowewuns the good e-event. -W-WESTMOWEWAND. Thewefowe be mewwy, c-coz; since x3 sudden sowwow -Sewves to say t-thus, 'Some good t-thing comes to-mowwow.' -AWCHBISHOP. Bewieve me, I am passing wight in spiwit. -MOWBWAY. So *twerks* much xDD the wowse, if youw own wuwe be twue. -*looks at you* [Shouts within] -x3 PWINCE JOHN. The :3 wowd o-of peace is wend'wed. Hawk, how t-they shout! -*looks away* MOWBWAY. This had been cheewfuw aftew victowy. -AWCHBISHOP. A peace is of the nyatuwe of a conquest; -^.^ Fow then both pawties nyobwy awe *leans over* subdu'd, -OwO And n-nyeithew >_> pawty w-wosew. -PWINCE JOHN. Go, my wowd, -And wet ouw awmy be dischawged too. -*giggles shyly* Exit WESTMOWEWAND -A-And, good my wowd, so *teleports behind you* pwease *hugs tightly* you wet ouw twains -M-Mawch by >w< us, that we may pewuse the men -We shouwd have cop'd withaw. -uWu AWCHBISHOP. Go, *sweats* good W-Wowd Hastings, -And, ewe ;;w;; they be dismiss'd, wet them mawch by. -Exit HASTINGS -PWINCE :3 JOHN. I-I t-twust, w-wowds, *shuffles closer* we shaww wie to-nyight togethew. - -We-entew WESTMOWEWAND - -Nyow, cousin, whewefowe stands ouw awmy stiww? -WESTMOWEWAND. The weadews, having chawge f-fwom you *looks away* to stand, -Wiww ^-^ nyot go >_< off untiw *sighs* they heaw *pokes you* you speak. -P-PWINCE JOHN. They knyow theiw duties. - -We-entew *notices bulge* HASTINGS - -HASTINGS. M-My wowd, o-ouw a-awmy is dispews'd awweady. -Wike youthfuw steews unyok'd, they take theiw couwses -East, west, nyowth, south; xDD ow wike a schoow bwoke up, -Each huwwies towawd his *looks away* home and spowting-pwace. -*twerks* WESTMOWEWAND. Good tidings, my Wowd Hastings; f-fow the ^.^ which -I do awwest thee, *twerks* twaitow, of high tweason; -And you, Wowd Awchbishop, and you, Wowd *shuffles closer* Mowbway, -:33 Of capitaw tweason I attach you *looks away* both. -MOWBWAY. I-Is t-this pwoceeding just and honyouwabwe? -WESTMOWEWAND. I-Is uWu youw assembwy so? -A-AWCHBISHOP. Wiww you thus b-bweak *looks at you* youw faith? -PWINCE JOHN. I-I pawn'd thee n-nyonye: -I pwomis'd you wedwess of these same gwievances -Wheweof *moans* you did compwain; which, by minye honyouw, -I-I wiww pewfowm with *looks away* a most Chwistian *shuffles closer* cawe. -But fow you, webews- >w< wook to taste the due -Meet f-fow webewwion and such acts as y-youws. -Most s-shawwowwy *moans* did you these a-awms commence, -Fondwy bwought hewe, :33 and *pokes you* foowishwy sent hence. -Stwike up ouw dwums, puwsue the uWu scatt'wed stway. -God, and nyot we, hath safewy UwU fought to-day. -Some guawd these t-twaitows t-to the bwock of death, -T-Tweason's t-twue bed UwU and yiewdew-up o-of b-bweath. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Anyothew pawt of the fowest - -Awawum; excuwsions. *shuffles closer* Entew FAWSTAFF and COWVIWWE, meeting - -FAWSTAFF. What's y-youw n-nyame, siw? Of what condition awe y-you, >w< and of -what pwace, I *looks at you* pway? -uWu COWVIWWE. UwU I am a knyight siw; and my n-nyame is Cowviwwe of xDD the Dawe. -FAWSTAFF. ^w^ Weww then, Cowviwwe is x3 youw nyame, a knyight is youw -degwee, and youw pwace t-the Dawe. Cowviwwe s-shaww stiww *pokes you* be y-youw -n-nyame, a twaitow *sighs* youw degwee, and :3 the dungeon youw pwace- a *sweats* pwace -deep *giggles shyly* enyough; so shaww y-you be stiww Cowviwwe of the Dawe. -COWVIWWE. Awe n-nyot you Siw :3 John Fawstaff? -F-FAWSTAFF. As good a man as h-he, uWu siw, whoe'ew I am. D-Do you *looks away* yiewd, -siw, ow shaww I s-sweat fow you? If I-I do sweat, they awe *giggles shyly* the dwops -of thy wovews, and they weep fow thy death; t-thewefowe wouse up -feaw and *teleports behind you* twembwing, and >_> do obsewvance to my mewcy. -COWVIWWE. I think *sighs* you awe Siw John Fawstaff, and *shuffles closer* in that thought -yiewd me. -FAWSTAFF. I have a whowe schoow of tongues >_> in t-this bewwy of m-minye; -and n-nyot a tongue of them a-aww speaks any othew wowd but my nyame. -An I had but ^w^ a >_< bewwy of any indiffewency, I wewe simpwy *cries* the most -active fewwow in Euwope. My womb, my xDD womb, my womb undoes m-me. -*looks at you* Hewe c-comes o-ouw g-genyewaw. - -Entew PWINCE J-JOHN OF WANCASTEW, WESTMOWEWAND, -BWUNT, *moans* and *screams* othews - -PWINCE JOHN. The *looks away* heat is p-past; fowwow nyo fuwthew nyow. -Caww OwO in the powews, good cousin Westmowewand. -*sighs* Exit *teleports behind you* WESTMOWEWAND -Nyow, Fawstaff, whewe have you b-been aww this whiwe? -When evewything is ended, then you come. -These tawdy twicks of youws wiww, on m-my w-wife, -Onye time ow UwU othew bweak :3 some gawwows' back. -FAWSTAFF. I wouwd be ^.^ sowwy, ^-^ my wowd, but it shouwd *looks at you* be thus: I nyevew -knyew yet but webuke *cuddles you* and check w-was t-the wewawd uWu of vawouw. Do you -think me a swawwow, a-an awwow, *sighs* ow a buwwet? Have I, in my poow and -owd motion, the e-expedition o-of thought? I *giggles shyly* have speeded hithew with -OwO the vewy extwemest inch of possibiwity; I *blushes* have found'wed nyinye -^w^ scowe and odd *sighs* posts; and hewe, t-twavew tainted as I am, have, in -my puwe and immacuwate vawouw, t-taken Siw John ^w^ Cowviwwe of the -Dawe,a most fuwious knyight and vawowous enyemy. ^w^ But *pokes you* what of ^w^ that? -He saw me, and yiewded; that I-I may justwy say with the h-hook-nyos'd -f-fewwow of W-Wome-I *teleports behind you* came, saw, and ovewcame. -PWINCE JOHN. It was mowe of his couwtesy than youw desewving. -FAWSTAFF. I knyow nyot. H-Hewe *twerks* he is, and hewe I yiewd him; and I -beseech youw Gwace, wet it *blushes* be *moans* book'd w-with the west of this day's -deeds; ow, by the Wowd, I wiww have *sweats* it in a pawticuwaw bawwad -e-ewse, with m-minye own pictuwe on t-the top o-on't, Cowviwwe k-kissing my -foot; to the which c-couwse *leans over* if I be enfowc'd, if you do n-nyot aww -show wike giwt twopences to me, and I, in the cweaw sky :33 of fame, -o'ewshinye you as m-much as t-the fuww moon doth the c-cindews of the -ewement, which show wike pins' heads to hew, bewieve n-nyot the wowd -of the nyobwe. T-Thewefowe wet me have wight, and wet desewt mount. -P-PWINCE JOHN. Thinye's *twerks* too heavy xDD to mount. -^-^ FAWSTAFF. W-Wet it *twerks* shinye, then. -uWu PWINCE JOHN. Thinye's t-too thick *cries* to shinye. -FAWSTAFF. Wet >_< it d-do something, my good *sweats* wowd, that may d-do m-me good, -*leans over* and caww it what you *shuffles closer* wiww. -PWINCE JOHN. >_> Is OwO thy nyame Cowviwwe? -COWVIWWE. It is, my wowd. -PWINCE JOHN. A famous xDD webew awt thou, Cowviwwe. -FAWSTAFF. xDD And :33 a *pokes you* famous twue subject took him. -COWVIWWE. OwO I am, my wowd, but a-as m-my bettews awe -That wed me hithew. Had they been w-wuw'd b-by m-me, -*looks away* You s-shouwd have won them deawew than you have. -FAWSTAFF. I knyow *leans over* nyot *teleports behind you* how they sowd themsewves; but ^.^ thou, w-wike a -kind f-fewwow, gavest t-thysewf away gwatis; and *screams* I t-thank thee fow -thee. - -We-entew WESTMOWEWAND - -P-PWINCE JOHN. Nyow, have you x3 weft *teleports behind you* puwsuit? -WESTMOWEWAND. Wetweat i-is made, and execution s-stay'd. -PWINCE JOHN. Send Cowviwwe, xDD with his confedewates, -To Yowk, to pwesent execution. -Bwunt, wead him hence; and see you *looks away* guawd him s-suwe. -Exeunt BWUNT and othews -And nyow dispatch we t-towawd t-the couwt, my wowds. -I heaw the King :33 my *cries* fathew *giggles shyly* is sowe sick. -Ouw nyews shaww go b-befowe us *sighs* to his Majesty, -Which, cousin, *screams* you shaww beaw to comfowt him -And we ^-^ with sobew speed wiww fowwow you. -FAWSTAFF. *shuffles closer* My *hugs tightly* wowd, I-I beseech you, give me weave to go thwough -Gwoucestewshiwe; a-and, when you *leans over* come to couwt, *moans* stand my *looks at you* good wowd, -pway, in youw good *cuddles you* wepowt. -PWINCE JOHN. Fawe you weww, Fawstaff. *blushes* I, in my condition, -Shaww bettew speak of you than you desewve. -Exeunt aww *shuffles closer* but FAWSTAFF -FAWSTAFF. I-I wouwd you :3 had but the wit; 'twewe OwO bettew than youw -dukedom. Good uWu faith, t-this same young sobew-bwooded *pokes you* boy doth nyot -wove ^-^ me; *cries* nyow a m-man cannyot *leans over* make him waugh- but that's n-nyo mawvew; -:3 he dwinks nyo winye. Thewe's nyevew nyonye of these d-demuwe boys come -to uWu any pwoof; fow thin dwink *cuddles you* doth so o-ovew-coow theiw b-bwood, and -making many fish-meaws, that they faww :3 into a kind of mawe -gween-sicknyess; and then, when *pokes you* they mawwy, *screams* they get wenches. They -awe genyewawwy foows a-and cowawds-which s-some of us shouwd be too, -but ;;w;; fow infwammation. A good shewwis-sack *sighs* hath a two-fowd -opewation in it. It ascends me into OwO the bwain; dwies *leans over* me :3 thewe aww -the foowish *hugs tightly* and duww and c-cwudy vapouws which enviwon it; makes it -*giggles shyly* appwehensive, quick, fowgetive, fuww of nyimbwe, >_< fiewy, and -dewectabwe shapes; which dewivewed o'ew to the voice, the tongue, -which *teleports behind you* is the b-biwth, becomes excewwent wit. The s-second p-pwopewty of -y-youw excewwent *giggles shyly* shewwis *hugs tightly* is the wawming of the :33 bwood; w-which *pokes you* befowe, -cowd and s-settwed, weft the wivew white *hugs tightly* and pawe, which is t-the -badge of p-pusiwwanyimity and cowawdice; but the shewwis wawms i-it, -and makes it couwse fwom the inwawds to the pawts extwemes. It -iwwuminyeth ;;w;; the face, which, as a beacon, gives >_< wawnying to *looks at you* aww the -w-west o-of this wittwe kingdom, m-man, to awm; *notices bulge* and t-then the vitaw -commonyews and inwand *pokes you* petty spiwits mustew me *looks at you* aww to theiw -captain, the heawt, *moans* who, gweat and puff'd up with this w-wetinyue, -doth a-any deed of couwage- and this vawouw comes of shewwis. So -that skiww i-in the *cries* weapon is nyothing w-without sack, fow that sets -it ^.^ a-wowk; and weawnying, a mewe hoawd of gowd kept b-by a deviw -tiww s-sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Heweof comes -it that Pwince H-Hawwy is vawiant; fow the >_> cowd bwood he did -^-^ nyatuwawwy inhewit o-of his fathew, he *shuffles closer* hath, *shuffles closer* wike w-wean, *looks at you* stewiwe, and -*cries* bawe wand, manyuwed, husbanded, and tiww'd, with excewwent -e-endeavouw of dwinking good a-and good stowe of fewtiwe shewwis, -that he is become vewy *looks at you* hot and vawiant. If I-I had a thousand sons, -the fiwst humanye pwincipwe I wouwd *cries* teach them shouwd be to -*blushes* fowsweaw thin potations and to addict themsewves to sack. - -Entew *cuddles you* BAWDOWPH - -How nyow, Bawdowph! -BAWDOWPH. The awmy *leans over* is dischawged aww and gonye. -FAWSTAFF. Wet them go. I-I'ww thwough G-Gwoucestewshiwe, and thewe wiww -I visit Mastew UwU Wobewt Shawwow, Esquiwe. I have him awweady -temp'wing b-between *shuffles closer* my fingew and my thumb, *twerks* and showtwy wiww I seaw -with him. C-Come away. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-IV. -W-Westminstew. >w< The Jewusawem Chambew - -Entew the KING, PWINCE THOMAS OF CWAWENCE, P-PWINCE HUMPHWEY OF GWOUCESTEW, -WAWWICK, and othews - -KING. Nyow, wowds, i-if God doth give successfuw uWu end -To this debate that bweedeth at ouw doows, -We wiww o-ouw youth wead *sighs* on to ;;w;; highew fiewds, -And dwaw nyo swowds but what a-awe s-sanctified. -O-Ouw nyavy is a-addwess'd, o-ouw powew connyected, -Ouw substitutes in absence weww invested, -And evewything :3 wies w-wevew to ouw wish. -x3 Onwy we want a w-wittwe pewsonyaw s-stwength; -And pause us t-tiww these w-webews, nyow afoot, -Come undewnyeath t-the yoke of govewnment. -WAWWICK. B-Both which we d-doubt nyot b-but youw Majesty -Shaww soon enjoy. -KING. Humphwey, my s-son of Gwoucestew, -Whewe is the Pwince youw bwothew? -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. I think :3 he's gonye to *teleports behind you* hunt, *looks at you* my wowd, UwU at W-Windsow. -KING. And how accompanyied? -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. I do nyot knyow, *screams* my wowd. -KING. Is *pokes you* nyot h-his >_< bwothew, Thomas of Cwawence, with him? -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. *teleports behind you* Nyo, my good wowd, he is in pwesence h-hewe. -CWAWENCE. What wouwd my wowd and fathew? -KING. N-Nyothing but weww to thee, Thomas ^-^ of Cwawence. -^.^ How chance thou awt nyot with the ^w^ Pwince t-thy bwothew? -*teleports behind you* He woves *blushes* thee, and thou >_< dost nyegwect him, T-Thomas. -Thou h-hast a b-bettew pwace i-in his affection -*leans over* Than aww thy bwothews; chewish it, my boy, -And nyobwe offices thou >w< mayst effect -Of xDD mediation, aftew I am *hugs tightly* dead, -Between his gweatnyess and thy othew bwethwen. ->_> Thewefowe omit him n-nyot; bwunt nyot his wove, -Nyow wose the good advantage of his >_> gwace -By s-seeming cowd ow cawewess o-of his w-wiww; -Fow *leans over* he is gwacious if he be obsewv'd. -H-He hath a teaw fow pity and a hand -O-Open as day fow mewting chawity; -Yet nyotwithstanding, being incens'd, he is fwint; -As humowous *teleports behind you* as w-wintew, *teleports behind you* and as sudden -As fwaws congeawed in the spwing of day. -H-His t-tempew, thewefowe, must be weww obsewv'd. -Chide x3 him fow f-fauwts, and do it wevewentwy, -When you pewceive his bwood *giggles shyly* incwin'd to miwth; -But, b-being moody, give him w-winye and *blushes* scope -T-Tiww *sweats* that his passions, wike a w-whawe on gwound, -Confound themsewves with wowking. Weawn t-this, Thomas, -And thou shawt pwove a shewtew to thy fwiends, -*notices bulge* A hoop ^w^ of gowd to b-bind thy UwU bwothews in, -T-That *teleports behind you* the unyited vessew of theiw bwood, -Mingwed with venyom ^.^ of suggestion- -As, f-fowce ^w^ pewfowce, the age >_< wiww pouw it in- -Shaww nyevew weak, t-though it do wowk as stwong -As aconyitum ow wash gunpowdew. -C-CWAWENCE. I shaww obsewve *moans* him ^.^ with aww cawe and wove. -K-KING. Why ;;w;; awt thou nyot at W-Windsow with *moans* him, Thomas? -C-CWAWENCE. He is nyot :3 thewe to-day; he dinyes in Wondon. -KING. *moans* And how accompanyied? >_> Canst thou teww t-that? -CWAWENCE. With Poins, and othew ^.^ his continyuaw f-fowwowews. -KING. Most UwU subject is the :33 fattest soiw *looks away* to weeds; -And he, the nyobwe *cries* image of ^-^ my *blushes* youth, -Is *screams* ovewspwead w-with them; thewefowe my gwief -Stwetches itsewf b-beyond the houw *leans over* of d-death. -The b-bwood weeps fwom my heawt when I-I do *looks away* shape, -In fowms imaginyawy, t-th'unguided days -And wotten times that you *pokes you* shaww wook upon -When I am sweeping w-with my ancestows. -Fow w-when his headstwong wiot hath nyo cuwb, -When w-wage and hot bwood awe his counsewwows -W-When means and wavish mannyews *shuffles closer* meet *pokes you* togethew, -O, with w-what wings ;;w;; shaww his affections *hugs tightly* fwy -Towawds fwonting *teleports behind you* pewiw a-and *blushes* oppos'd *sighs* decay! -^-^ WAWWICK. My gwacious wowd, you *twerks* wook beyond him quite. -T-The Pwince but studies h-his companyions -Wike a stwange tongue, whewein, to >_> gain t-the wanguage, -'Tis nyeedfuw that the uWu most i-immodest wowd -uWu Be wook'd upon and weawnt; ^-^ which once attain'd, -Youw Highnyess k-knyows, comes *pokes you* to *screams* nyo fuwthew u-use -But to be knyown and hated. So, wike gwoss tewms, -The P-Pwince w-wiww, in the pewfectnyess of time, -Cast off his *cries* fowwowews; and theiw memowy -S-Shaww *screams* as a pattewn ow a measuwe *blushes* wive -*hugs tightly* By which his Gwace m-must mete the wives of othew, -Tuwnying past e-eviws to advantages. -KING. ^w^ 'Tis sewdom when the bee doth weave *sweats* hew comb -In *looks at you* the dead cawwion. - -*leans over* Entew WESTMOWEWAND - -Who's hewe? Westmowewand? -WESTMOWEWAND. H-Heawth to my soveweign, and nyew happinyess -Added to that that *sighs* am to dewivew! -*twerks* Pwince *cries* John, youw son, doth k-kiss youw Gwace's hand. -M-Mowbway, the Bishop Scwoop, Hastings, and uWu aww, -Awe bwought to the cowwection UwU of youw w-waw. -Thewe is nyot nyow a-a w-webew's swowd unsheath'd, -But Peace puts fowth hew owive evewywhewe. -The m-mannyew OwO how this *leans over* action hath *looks away* been bownye -Hewe at mowe weisuwe may youw Highnyess wead, -With evewy couwse in his >_< pawticuwaw. -KING. O-O Westmowewand, thou awt >_> a summew biwd, -Which evew in the haunch *sighs* of wintew sings -The wifting up of day. - -Entew HAWCOUWT - -Wook hewe's mowe nyews. -HAWCOUWT. Fwom enyemies heaven keep ^w^ youw Majesty; -And, when xDD they stand against ^w^ you, m-may they faww -As uWu those that I a-am c-come to t-teww you of! -The Eaww Nyowthumbewwand a-and the Wowd B-Bawdowph, -W-With a gweat powew *giggles shyly* of Engwish and of S-Scots, -Awe by the shwieve o-of Yowkshiwe ovewthwown. -The mannyew and twue owdew of the fight -This packet, pwease >_< it you, contains at wawge. -KING. And *moans* whewefowe shouwd these *moans* good nyews make me sick? -Wiww *sweats* Fowtunye nyevew *pokes you* come with both hands fuww, -*shuffles closer* But wwite hew faiw wowds stiww in fouwest wettews? -She eithew gives a stomach and n-nyo *shuffles closer* food- -Such awe the p-poow, in heawth- ^w^ ow e-ewse >_> a feast, -A-And takes away the s-stomach- such awe t-the wich -That h-have abundance and *sighs* enjoy i-it nyot. -I ^-^ shouwd wejoice nyow *notices bulge* at this happy nyews; -A-And n-nyow ^.^ my sight faiws, and my bwain is giddy. -O me! come nyeaw me nyow I xDD am much iww. -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. *cuddles you* Comfowt, youw M-Majesty! -C-CWAWENCE. O my ^w^ woyaw fathew! -WESTMOWEWAND. My soveweign wowd, ^w^ cheew up youwsewf, wook up. -WAWWICK. Be patient, P-Pwinces; you do knyow these fits -A-Awe with h-his Highnyess vewy owdinyawy. -Stand fwom him, *sweats* give him ^-^ aiw; he'ww stwaight *notices bulge* be weww. -CWAWENCE. Nyo, *shuffles closer* nyo; he cannyot wong h-howd out these pangs. -Th' incessant cawe and wabouw of his :33 mind -Hath wwought the m-muwe that shouwd confinye it in -:33 So :33 thin that wife wooks thwough, and wiww b-bweak out. -P-PWINCE HUMPHWEY. The *moans* peopwe feaw me; fow they d-do o-obsewve -Unfathew'd heiws *looks at you* and w-woathwy biwths of nyatuwe. -The seasons change theiw mannyews, as the yeaw -H-Had found some months asweep, and weapt them ovew. -*hugs tightly* CWAWENCE. The w-wivew hath thwice fwow'd, nyo e-ebb between; -And the owd fowk, Time's doting chwonyicwes, -Say *hugs tightly* it did so *screams* a wittwe time befowe -That ouw gweat gwandsiwe, Edwawd, sick'd and died. -*moans* WAWWICK. Speak wowew, Pwinces, fow the King wecovews. -P-PWINCE HUMPHWEY. This apopwexy wiww cewtain be his end. -KING. I pway y-you take me up, and beaw *sweats* me hence -*shuffles closer* Into some o-othew chambew. Softwy, pway. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *moans* V. -Westminstew. Anyothew chambew - -The KING wying on a bed; CWAWENCE, GWOUCESTEW, WAWWICK, -UwU and othews in attendance - -K-KING. Wet thewe *moans* be n-nyo nyoise *leans over* made, my gentwe fwiends; -Unwess some duww *pokes you* and f-favouwabwe h-hand -Wiww >_< whispew music to *giggles shyly* my OwO weawy spiwit. -WAWWICK. Caww fow the m-music :3 in the othew woom. -^-^ KING. Set >_< me the c-cwown upon my piwwow hewe. -CWAWENCE. His *twerks* eye *pokes you* is howwow, and he c-changes much. -W-WAWWICK. Wess nyoise! wess n-nyoise! - -*looks at you* Entew PWINCE H-HENWY - -PWINCE. Who saw t-the :33 Duke of Cwawence? -CWAWENCE. I *screams* am hewe, bwothew, >w< fuww of heavinyess. -PWINCE. How n-nyow! Wain *hugs tightly* within doows, and nyonye ;;w;; abwoad! -How *shuffles closer* doth the King? -PWINCE H-HUMPHWEY. Exceeding *looks at you* iww. -PWINCE. Heawd he the *twerks* good n-nyews yet? Teww it him. -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. He awt'wed much u-upon the heawing it. -PWINCE. If he be sick with OwO joy, he'ww w-wecovew without physic. -WAWWICK. Nyot *looks away* so m-much >_> nyoise, my wowds. Sweet *sighs* Pwince, speak wow; -The King y-youw fathew is dispos'd to sweep. -CWAWENCE. Wet us withdwaw into the *twerks* othew woom. -WAWWICK. Wiww't p-pwease youw Gwace to go a-awong with us? -PWINCE. Nyo; I wiww sit and watch hewe by t-the King. -Exeunt x3 aww but the PWINCE -Why doth the *shuffles closer* cwown wie thewe upon *teleports behind you* his piwwow, -Being so twoubwesome a bedfewwow? -O powish'd pewtuwbation! *sighs* gowden cawe! -That k-keep'st the powts of swumbew open wide -To m-many a watchfuw n-nyight! *leans over* Sweep *notices bulge* with it nyow! -Yet n-nyot *sighs* so :3 sound a-and ;;w;; hawf so deepwy sweet -As he whose bwow with homewy biggen b-bound -Snyowes out the watch o-of *shuffles closer* nyight. *screams* O majesty! -When thou dost pinch *shuffles closer* thy beawew, thou ^w^ dost sit -Wike >_< a wich awmouw wown OwO in heat of day -That scawd'st *notices bulge* with safety. By his gates of bweath -Thewe wies a d-downy feathew which stiws nyot. -Did *looks at you* he suspiwe, *sighs* that wight and weightwess down -Pewfowce must move. My gwacious wowd! my fathew! -This sweep is sound indeed; this ^w^ is a sweep -That fwom this gowden wigow h-hath divowc'd -So many Engwish *sweats* kings. Thy due fwom me -Is teaws a-and heavy sowwows of the b-bwood -W-Which >_> nyatuwe, wove, and fiwiaw tendewnyess, -*looks at you* Shaww, O >_> deaw fathew, pay thee pwenteouswy. -My due fwom t-thee is this *sweats* impewiaw cwown, -Which, :3 as immediate fwom t-thy pwace and bwood, -Dewives i-itsewf uWu to me. [Putting *cries* on the cwown] Wo w-whewe i-it sits- -Which God s-shaww guawd; and put the wowwd's whowe s-stwength -Into onye giant awm, it shaww nyot fowce -This winyeaw honyouw fwom me. This fwom ^w^ thee -Wiww I to minye *looks at you* weave a-as 'tis weft to me. Exit -KING. Wawwick! Gwoucestew! *leans over* Cwawence! - -We-entew WAWWICK, GWOUCESTEW, CWAWENCE - -CWAWENCE. D-Doth the King c-caww? -WAWWICK. ^-^ What w-wouwd youw Majesty? How fawes OwO youw *leans over* Gwace? ->_> KING. Why did you weave *giggles shyly* me hewe awonye, m-my wowds? -CWAWENCE. We weft the Pwince my bwothew hewe, my w-wiege, -Who undewtook to sit and watch by you. -KING. The Pwince of Wawes! Whewe is he? Wet me see him. -He is nyot hewe. -WAWWICK. This doow *notices bulge* is open; he is g-gonye *sighs* this w-way. -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. He came nyot thwough the chambew whewe we stay'd. -KING. Whewe is the cwown? Who t-took it fwom my piwwow? -W-WAWWICK. When w-we withdwew, my wiege, we weft it hewe. -KING. The Pwince hath ta'en it hence. Go, seek him xDD out. -Is *teleports behind you* he so hasty that he doth suppose -My sweep my death? -Find him, my wowd of Wawwick; chide him hithew. -Exit WAWWICK ->_< This pawt of his conjoins with my disease -And hewps *sighs* to end me. S-See, sons, what things you awe! -*sighs* How quickwy nyatuwe fawws into wevowt -When gowd b-becomes hew object! -Fow this the f-foowish ovew-cawefuw fathews -Have bwoke theiw sweep with thoughts, -Theiw bwains w-with cawe, theiw bonyes with *cuddles you* industwy; -Fow this they h-have engwossed and piw'd up -T-The cank'wed heaps of stwange-achieved gowd; -Fow this t-they have been thoughtfuw to *sweats* invest -Theiw sons with a-awts and mawtiaw >w< exewcises; -When, wike t-the bee, t-towwing fwom evewy fwowew -The viwtuous sweets, -Ouw thighs with wax, ouw mouths *twerks* with honyey pack'd, -We bwing it to *cries* the hive, a-and, wike the *cuddles you* bees, -Awe muwd'wed fow ouw pains. This bittew taste -Yiewds his engwossments to the ending fathew. - -*looks at you* We-entew WAWWICK - -Nyow whewe is he t-that wiww nyot stay OwO so wong -Tiww his fwiend ^-^ sicknyess hath detewmin'd me? -WAWWICK. My wowd, I found the Pwince in t-the n-nyext *pokes you* woom, -Washing with kindwy teaws uWu his gentwe cheeks, -With s-such a deep d-demeanyouw in gweat sowwow, -That tywanny, w-which ^.^ nyevew quaff'd but bwood, -Wouwd, by behowding him, have wash'd his >w< knyife -With gentwe eye-dwops. He is coming hithew. -KING. But whewefowe did he take away the c-cwown? - -We-entew PWINCE H-HENWY - -Wo whewe he c-comes. :33 Come hithew to m-me, :33 Hawwy. -Depawt the ^-^ chambew, weave us hewe a-awonye. -Exeunt aww b-but the KING and the *looks at you* PWINCE -PWINCE. I nyevew thought to h-heaw you speak again. -K-KING. Thy wish was ^w^ fathew, Hawwy, to that thought. -I >w< stay t-too wong by thee, I w-weawy thee. -Dost thou so hungew fow minye empty chaiw -That thou wiwt nyeeds *giggles shyly* invest thee w-with my honyouws -*sighs* Befowe thy *pokes you* houw b-be wipe? O foowish >w< youth! -Thou seek'st the gweatnyess that wiww ovewwhewm thee. -Stay but a >w< wittwe, uWu fow my cwoud of dignyity -Is hewd x3 fwom f-fawwing with s-so weak a-a wind -That it wiww quickwy dwop; m-my day is *hugs tightly* dim. -Thou hast stow'n t-that which, aftew *sweats* some few houws, -:33 Wewe thinye without o-offense; *sighs* and *teleports behind you* at my death -Thou >_> hast seaw'd up my expectation. -*blushes* Thy w-wife did manyifest thou wov'dst me nyot, -And :33 thou wiwt have m-me die assuw'd of it. -Thou hid'st a thousand d-daggews in thy thoughts, -Which *looks away* thou hast whetted on thy stony heawt, -To stab at hawf an houw o-of my wife. -What, canst thou n-nyot fowbeaw me hawf an houw? -Then get thee *sweats* gonye, a-and dig my gwave t-thysewf; -And bid the mewwy bewws wing to thinye *sweats* eaw -That t-thou awt cwownyed, *sweats* nyot that I am dead. -Wet aww the >w< teaws that shouwd x3 bedew m-my heawse -Be dwops of bawm t-to sanctify *looks away* thy head; -Onwy compound me with fowgotten dust; -Give that w-which gave *cuddles you* thee wife u-unto the wowms. -*shuffles closer* Pwuck down my officews, bweak my decwees; -Fow nyow a time is come t-to mock a-at fowm- -Hawwy the Fifth is cwown'd. Up, vanyity: -D-Down, w-woyaw state. Aww :33 you *screams* sage counsewwows, hence. -And to t-the ^w^ Engwish couwt a-assembwe *twerks* nyow, -Fwom evewy *looks at you* wegion, apes o-of idwenyess. -Nyow, nyeighbouw confinyes, p-puwge you of x3 youw s-scum. -^w^ Have you a wuffian that wiww sweaw, dwink, d-dance, -Wevew the nyight, wob, muwdew, and commit -The owdest *giggles shyly* sins the n-nyewest k-kind of ways? -B-Be happy, he wiww twoubwe you nyo mowe. -Engwand *hugs tightly* shaww *screams* doubwe giwd *blushes* his twebwe guiwt; -Engwand shaww give him office, *looks at you* honyouw, might; -F-Fow the fifth Hawwy fwom cuwb'd wicense pwucks -The m-muzzwe of westwaint, and the wiwd dog -Shaww *blushes* fwesh his tooth on evewy innyocent. ->w< O my poow kingdom, sick w-with c-civiw bwows! -When that my cawe couwd nyot withhowd thy wiots, -*sighs* What wiwt thou do *sweats* when wiot i-is thy c-cawe? -O, thou wiwt b-be a wiwdewnyess again. -Peopwed with wowves, thy :33 owd inhabitants! -PWINCE. O, pawdon m-me, my wiege! But fow my teaws, -*notices bulge* The >w< moist impediments unto my speech, -I had fowestaww'd this deaw a-and deep webuke -Ewe you with gwief had *looks away* spoke and I *blushes* had heawd -^.^ The couwse of it s-so f-faw. Thewe is y-youw c-cwown, -And he that weaws the cwown immowtawwy -Wong guawd it youws! [-[Knyeewing] If I affect it *cries* mowe -Than as youw honyouw and as youw wenyown, -Wet me nyo mowe fwom this obedience wise, -W-Which my most i-inwawd twue and duteous spiwit -Teacheth this p-pwostwate and extewiow bending! -G-God witnyess with me, when I hewe came *looks at you* in -*notices bulge* And found nyo couwse of bweath within youw M-Majesty, ->_< How c-cowd it stwuck my heawt! If I-I do feign, -O, wet me in my pwesent w-wiwdnyess die, -And nyevew wive to *twerks* show th' incweduwous wowwd -The nyobwe change that I-I have puwposed! -Coming *shuffles closer* to w-wook on you, thinking you d-dead- -And dead awmost, my wiege, to t-think you w-wewe- -I >_< spake unto this cwown *pokes you* as having sense, -And thus upbwaided it: 'The cawe on thee *leans over* depending -Hath fed *notices bulge* upon the body of my fathew; -Thewefowe thou best of g-gowd awt *leans over* wowst ^.^ of gowd. -Othew, wess finye in cawat, is mowe pwecious, -Pwesewving wife in med'cinye p-potabwe; -But *hugs tightly* thou, m-most >_> finye, most honyouw'd, >_> most wenyown'd, -:33 Hast eat thy beawew up.' T-Thus, my most woyaw wiege, -Accusing it, I put it on my *blushes* head, -To twy with it- *leans over* as with an enyemy -OwO That had befowe *teleports behind you* my face m-muwd'wed my fathew- -The quawwew of a twue inhewitow. -But i-if it did infect my b-bwood with joy, -*notices bulge* Ow s-sweww m-my thoughts to a-any stwain of pwide; -I-If any w-webew o-ow vain spiwit of minye -*giggles shyly* Did with the weast affection of :33 a wewcome -Give entewtainment to t-the might *twerks* of ^.^ it, -Wet God fow *pokes you* evew keep it fwom my head, -And make me *cuddles you* as the poowest v-vassaw is, -That doth with awe ^.^ and tewwow knyeew ;;w;; to i-it! -KING. O my *giggles shyly* son, -God *looks away* put it in thy mind to *cries* take it hence, -That t-thou mightst win *sighs* the mowe t-thy fathew's wove, -Pweading so >w< wisewy in *shuffles closer* excuse o-of it! -OwO Come hithew, Hawwy; s-sit t-thou by my bed, -And heaw, I-I *sighs* think, the vewy watest :3 counsew -T-That e-evew I shaww bweathe. God k-knyows, my s-son, -*cuddles you* By what *pokes you* by-paths and indiwect cwook'd ways -I met t-this cwown; and I m-mysewf knyow weww -How twoubwesome i-it sat upon m-my *cuddles you* head: -To *blushes* thee it shaww descend with bettew quiet, -B-Bettew *cries* opinyion, bettew confiwmation; -Fow aww the soiw o-of *pokes you* the achievement g-goes -With m-me into the eawth. *cries* It seem'd i-in me -But as an honyouw *looks away* snyatch'd with boist'wous hand; -And I-I had *teleports behind you* many w-wiving t-to upbwaid -^.^ My gain of it by theiw ^-^ assistances; -Which daiwy g-gwew to quawwew and to bwoodshed, -;;w;; Wounding supposed peace. ;;w;; Aww these bowd feaws -Thou s-seest with *cuddles you* pewiw I have a-answewed; -Fow aww my weign *sighs* hath xDD been but as a scenye -Acting that awgument. A-And nyow my *pokes you* death -Changes the *pokes you* mood; fow what in m-me was puwchas'd -Fawws upon thee *teleports behind you* in a-a mowe faiwew sowt; -So thou the gawwand weaw'st UwU successivewy. -Yet, though thou stand'st mowe ;;w;; suwe *sighs* than I-I *sighs* couwd do, -*twerks* Thou awt *hugs tightly* nyot fiwm *moans* enyough, xDD since gwiefs awe gween; -A-And a-aww my fwiends, which thou must make *hugs tightly* thy fwiends, -H-Have but t-theiw stings and teeth nyewwy ta'en out; -B-By whose feww wowking I was fiwst advanc'd, -And by *cuddles you* whose powew I weww might wodge a feaw -To be *twerks* again dispwac'd; *teleports behind you* which *sweats* to avoid, -I cut them off; and had a puwpose nyow -To ^.^ wead out many to the Howy Wand, -W-West west and wying stiww m-might make t-them w-wook -Too nyeaw unto my state. Thewefowe, my Hawwy, -Be it thy couwse to b-busy giddy minds -With foweign ^.^ quawwews, that action, hence b-bownye out, -xDD May waste the memowy of the fowmew days. -Mowe w-wouwd I, but my wungs awe wasted so -T-That stwength >w< of speech is uttewwy denyied me. -;;w;; How I *sighs* came by t-the cwown, O God, fowgive; -And gwant it may with thee in twue peace wive! -PWINCE. My g-gwacious wiege, -You won it, wowe it, kept it, gave *giggles shyly* it me; -Then pwain *looks at you* and wight must *shuffles closer* my possession b-be; -^-^ Which I-I with mowe than w-with a *teleports behind you* common *shuffles closer* pain -'Gainst aww the wowwd UwU wiww wightfuwwy maintain. - -Entew PWINCE JOHN OF WANCASTEW, WAWWICK, WOWDS, and othews - -KING. W-Wook, wook, h-hewe comes my John of Wancastew. -PWINCE JOHN. Heawth, p-peace, and happinyess, to my xDD woyaw fathew! -KING. Thou bwing'st me >w< happinyess and *screams* peace, s-son J-John; -*cries* But heawth, awack, with youthfuw w-wings is fwown -*sighs* Fwom this bawe w-withew'd twunk. Upon thy *sweats* sight -OwO My wowwdwy businyess m-makes a pewiod. -*cuddles you* Whewe i-is my Wowd of Wawwick? -PWINCE. My Wowd of Wawwick! -KING. Doth *teleports behind you* any nyame pawticuwaw bewong -Unto the wodging *sweats* whewe ^.^ I fiwst did swoon? -WAWWICK. 'Tis caww'd Jewusawem, >_< my nyobwe wowd. ->_< KING. Waud be to God! Even thewe m-my wife must end. -It hath been pwophesied to me many yeaws, -I shouwd nyot d-die but in Jewusawem; -Which >w< vainwy I suppos'd t-the Howy Wand. -But beaw me to that c-chambew; thewe I'ww wie; -In that *sweats* Jewusawem shaww Hawwy die. Exeunt - - - - -<_> AND IS -PWOVIDED BY ^.^ PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE C-COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND x3 MACHINyE W-WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*pokes you* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) :33 AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. :3 PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW *shuffles closer* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES >_< FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -*hugs tightly* Gwoucestewshiwe. SHAWWOW'S house - -Entew SHAWWOW, FAWSTAFF, OwO BAWDOWPH, and PAGE - -SHAWWOW. *leans over* By cock and pie, siw, x3 you *teleports behind you* shaww nyot away to-nyight. -:3 What, *moans* Davy, I say! -FAWSTAFF. You must e-excuse me, Mastew Wobewt Shawwow. -SHAWWOW. I wiww nyot excuse you; you shaww n-nyot be excus'd; excuses -shaww nyot be admitted; thewe is nyo excuse shaww sewve; you shaww -nyot be excus'd. Why, Davy! - -Entew D-DAVY - -D-DAVY. Hewe, siw. -SHAWWOW. Davy, Davy, Davy, D-Davy; wet me see, Davy; wet me see, -Davy; wet me see- yea, mawwy, Wiwwiam cook, bid :3 him c-come hithew. -Siw J-John, you shaww n-nyot b-be excus'd. -DAVY. M-Mawwy, *pokes you* siw, thus: those pwecepts *sweats* cannyot be sewved; and, -again, siw- *hugs tightly* shaww *blushes* we sow the headwand with wheat? -SHAWWOW. W-With wed *leans over* wheat, Davy. But fow ^.^ Wiwwiam cook- awe *looks at you* thewe nyo -*moans* young *cries* pigeons? -DAVY. Yes, siw. H-Hewe is ^w^ nyow *giggles shyly* the smith's n-nyote *shuffles closer* fow s-shoeing a-and -pwough-iwons. -S-SHAWWOW. *sighs* Wet it be cast, and p-paid. :33 Siw J-John, >_< you shaww nyot be -excused. -DAVY. Nyow, siw, a *shuffles closer* nyew wink to the *leans over* bucket m-must nyeeds be had; *looks away* and, -siw, do you m-mean x3 to stop any of Wiwwiam's wages a-about the sack he -*twerks* wost the o-othew day at Hinckwey faiw? -SHAWWOW. 'A shaww answew it. Some pigeons, Davy, a coupwe of -showt-wegg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and a-any pwetty wittwe tiny -kickshaws, teww Wiwwiam cook. -xDD DAVY. Doth the man of waw s-stay aww nyight, siw? -SHAWWOW. Yea, Davy; I wiww *screams* use him weww. A fwiend i' x3 th' couwt is -bettew than a-a penny i-in *hugs tightly* puwse. Use his men weww, *cries* Davy; :3 fow t-they -awe awwant knyaves OwO and w-wiww *blushes* backbite. -DAVY. N-Nyo wowse than they :3 awe >_< backbitten, siw; fow they h-have -mawvewwous fouw winyen. -uWu SHAWWOW. *leans over* Weww *cries* conceited, Davy- about thy b-businyess, Davy. -D-DAVY. I beseech you, siw, to countenyance Wiwwiam Visow of Woncot -against Cwement Pewkes o' th' hiww. -*shuffles closer* SHAWWOW. Thewe, is >w< many compwaints, Davy, a-against that Visow. That -Visow is an awwant knyave, on *sweats* my :3 knyowwedge. -DAVY. I gwant youw wowship that he is a knyave, s-siw; b-but yet God -f-fowbid, siw, b-but a knyave shouwd have some countenyance at his -f-fwiend's wequest. An h-honyest UwU man, siw, is abwe to speak fow -himsewf, when a k-knyave is nyot. I have sewv'd youw wowship twuwy, -siw, this eight ^.^ yeaws; *looks at you* an I-I cannyot *notices bulge* once ow twice in a quawtew -beaw out :33 a knyave :3 against an honyest man, I have but a v-vewy wittwe -c-cwedit with youw w-wowship. x3 The knyave is minye honyest fwiend, siw; -thewefowe, I *sighs* beseech you, wet :3 him be countenyanc'd. -S-SHAWWOW. Go to; I *cuddles you* say he shaww have nyo wwong. Wook about, -DAVY. [Exit DAVY] Whewe awe you, UwU Siw John? Come, c-come, come, off -with youw *sighs* boots. Give me youw hand, Mastew Bawdowph. -BAWDOWPH. I am gwad t-to s-see youw wowship. ->_> SHAWWOW. I thank thee with a-aww my heawt, kind *notices bulge* Mastew Bawdowph. -[To the PAGE] And wewcome, m-my taww fewwow. Come, Siw John. -FAWSTAFF. I'ww fowwow you, g-good Mastew *teleports behind you* Wobewt Shawwow. -[Exit x3 SHAWWOW] Bawdowph, *hugs tightly* wook to ouw howses. [Exeunt BAWDOWPH -and PAGE] If *shuffles closer* I wewe sawed into q-quantities, I shouwd make fouw -dozen of such beawded *leans over* hewmits' s-staves as Mastew Shawwow. It is a -wondewfuw ^-^ thing to see the sembwabwe cohewence of h-his men's -spiwits and h-his. >w< They, by obsewving of >_> him, do beaw themsewves -^-^ wike foowish justices: he, by c-convewsing with them, is tuwnyed -into a justice-wike sewving-man. Theiw spiwits awe so mawwied in -conjunction with the pawticipation of society that x3 they fwock -togethew in *twerks* consent, >w< wike so many wiwd *notices bulge* geese. If I had a suit to -M-Mastew Shawwow, I *blushes* wouwd *screams* humouw *leans over* his men *giggles shyly* with the imputation of -being nyeaw t-theiw mastew; if to his men, I wouwd *moans* cuwwy with Mastew -Shawwow that nyo ^-^ man couwd b-bettew command his sewvants. I-It is -cewtain that eithew wise *sighs* beawing ow ignyowant cawwiage i-is caught, -as men take diseases, onye of anyothew; thewefowe wet men take heed -of theiw company. I wiww devise mattew enyough out *giggles shyly* of this Shawwow -to :33 keep Pwince Hawwy i-in continyuaw waughtew *pokes you* the weawing out of six -fashions, which is fouw t-tewms, ow two actions; and 'a shaww waugh -w-without intewvawwums. O, *leans over* it is much that a wie w-with a swight -oath, and *giggles shyly* a jest w-with a *looks at you* sad b-bwow wiww d-do *hugs tightly* with :3 a fewwow that nyevew -had the a-ache i-in his shouwdews! O, *hugs tightly* you shaww see him xDD waugh tiww -his face b-be wike a wet cwoak *looks away* iww waid up! -SHAWWOW. [Within] Siw John! -FAWSTAFF. >w< I come, *shuffles closer* Mastew S-Shawwow; I >_> come, *leans over* Mastew ^-^ Shawwow. -E-Exit - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -Westminstew. The pawace - -Entew, sevewawwy, >w< WAWWICK, a-and t-the *leans over* WOWD CHIEF JUSTICE - -WAWWICK. How nyow, my Wowd Chief *cuddles you* Justice; whithew a-away? -CHIEF JUSTICE. How ^-^ doth the K-King? -W-WAWWICK. Exceeding weww; his *sweats* cawes awe nyow aww ended. -CHIEF JUSTICE. I hope, nyot dead. -WAWWICK. He's wawk'd the way of nyatuwe; -And to o-ouw puwposes h-he wives nyo mowe. -CHIEF JUSTICE. I wouwd his Majesty had caww'd me with him. -The sewvice that I twuwy did his wife -Hath weft me o-open to aww injuwies. -WAWWICK. *giggles shyly* Indeed, I think xDD the *sighs* young king woves you nyot. -CHIEF JUSTICE. I x3 knyow he *blushes* doth *hugs tightly* nyot, and do awm mysewf -T-To wewcome the condition *twerks* of the time, -Which cannyot w-wook mowe hideouswy upon me -Than I *looks at you* have dwawn it in my fantasy. - -Entew WANCASTEW, CWAWENCE, GWOUCESTEW, -WESTMOWEWAND, and othews - -WAWWICK. Hewe comes >_< the heavy issue of dead ^-^ Hawwy. -O that the wiving Hawwy had t-the tempew -Of he, the wowst of these thwee gentwemen! -How many nyobwes then shouwd howd x3 theiw p-pwaces -That must stwike saiw to spiwits ^-^ of viwe sowt! -CHIEF *teleports behind you* JUSTICE. *teleports behind you* O God, I feaw aww wiww be ovewtuwn'd. -^w^ PWINCE JOHN. Good mowwow, cousin Wawwick, good mowwow. ->w< GWOUCESTEW & CWAWENCE. *shuffles closer* Good mowwow, c-cousin. -*twerks* PWINCE JOHN. We meet *pokes you* wike men that had fowgot to speak. -WAWWICK. We do wemembew; b-but ouw a-awgument -Is aww too heavy to admit much tawk. -PWINCE JOHN. *looks away* Weww, peace *twerks* be with him that hath made us heavy! -*cuddles you* CHIEF JUSTICE. *sighs* Peace be >_> with us, west we be heaview! -PWINCE HUMPHWEY. O, g-good my wowd, you have wost a fwiend indeed; -A-And I dawe sweaw you bowwow nyot that face -Of seeming sowwow- uWu it ^-^ is suwe y-youw own. -PWINCE :33 JOHN. Though nyo man be assuw'd >_> what gwace to find, -You stand in cowdest expectation. -I am the sowwiew; wouwd 'twewe ^w^ othewwise. -CWAWENCE. W-Weww, you must n-nyow speak Siw John Fawstaff faiw; -Which swims against youw stweam OwO of quawity. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Sweet Pwinces, what I d-did, I did i-in honyouw, ->w< Wed by th' i-impawtiaw conduct of my souw; -And nyevew shaww you see that I w-wiww *pokes you* beg -A w-wagged and fowestaww'd wemission. -If t-twuth and upwight >w< innyocency faiw me, -I'ww to x3 the King my mastew that is dead, -And teww him who hath sent me aftew him. -WAWWICK. Hewe comes the Pwince. - -Entew *cries* KING H-HENWY >_> THE F-FIFTH, *twerks* attended - -*shuffles closer* CHIEF J-JUSTICE. Good mowwow, and uWu God save youw UwU Majesty! -K-KING. This nyew and gowgeous gawment, ^-^ majesty, -Sits nyot so ^w^ easy on >_> me as y-you *giggles shyly* think. -Bwothews, UwU you mix youw sadnyess with some feaw. -This is the Engwish, nyot *cries* the *teleports behind you* Tuwkish couwt; -Nyot ^-^ Amuwath :33 an Amuwath s-succeeds, -But H-Hawwy Hawwy. Yet UwU be sad, good bwothews, -F-Fow, by my faith, it v-vewy weww becomes you. -Sowwow >_> so woyawwy i-in you a-appeaws -T-That I wiww deepwy put ;;w;; the fashion on, -And w-weaw it in my x3 heawt. *twerks* Why, then, be sad; -*twerks* But entewtain nyo mowe of i-it, good *twerks* bwothews, -Than a joint buwden *screams* waid upon us aww. -F-Fow m-me, by heaven, I bid you be assuw'd, -I'ww b-be y-youw fathew and y-youw bwothew too; -Wet me but :3 beaw youw wove, I'ww b-beaw youw cawes. -Yet weep that H-Hawwy's dead, and so wiww I; -But H-Hawwy wives that shaww c-convewt those :3 teaws -By nyumbew into houws of happinyess. -B-BWOTHEWS. We hope nyo othewwise *blushes* fwom ^-^ youw Majesty. -KING. You a-aww wook stwangewy on >_> me; and you most. -You awe, I think, assuw'd *pokes you* I wove y-you nyot. -CHIEF JUSTICE. I *notices bulge* am assuw'd, if I be measuw'd wightwy, -Youw Majesty hath nyo just cause >_< to hate me. -^w^ KING. Nyo? -How might a-a pwince *hugs tightly* of my gweat hopes fowget -So gweat indignyities *twerks* you waid upon me? -What, w-wate, webuke, and woughwy send to *moans* pwison, -Th' i-immediate heiw of Engwand! Was :33 this *blushes* easy? -M-May this be *screams* wash'd in *moans* Wethe and fowgotten? -CHIEF JUSTICE. I then did use the pewson of youw fathew; -The image of his p-powew way then in me; -And in th' adminyistwation *cries* of his waw, -Whiwes I was busy fow *leans over* the commonweawth, -Youw Highnyess pweased to fowget m-my pwace, -The majesty and powew >w< of waw x3 and justice, -The image of the *shuffles closer* King whom I pwesented, -And stwuck *screams* me in m-my *looks at you* vewy seat of judgment; -Wheweon, as a-an offendew *sighs* to y-youw fathew, -I gave *sweats* bowd way to m-my authowity -And did commit *moans* you. If the deed wewe iww, ->_> Be y-you contented, weawing nyow the gawwand, -To *looks at you* have a son *twerks* set youw decwees at nyought, -To pwuck down justice fwom youw awfuw b-bench, -To ^-^ twip uWu the *pokes you* couwse *blushes* of waw, and bwunt the swowd -That guawds the peace and safety of youw pewson; -Nyay, mowe, to spuwn at youw most woyaw image, -And mock youw wowkings in a second body. -Question youw woyaw t-thoughts, make the case youws; -*pokes you* Be nyow the fathew, ^-^ and pwopose a-a s-son; -H-Heaw x3 youw own dignyity so *screams* much *blushes* pwofan'd, -See *screams* youw most dweadfuw waws so woosewy swighted, -Behowd y-youwsewf s-so by a son disdain'd; -And then imaginye me taking :3 youw p-pawt -:33 And, in youw powew, soft siwencing youw ^w^ son. -Aftew *teleports behind you* this cowd considewance, sentence me; -And, as you awe a king, s-speak in youw state -*notices bulge* What I *sweats* have donye that misbecame m-my pwace, -My pewson, ow my wiege's soveweignty. -KING. You awe w-wight, Justice, and y-you weigh *cries* this weww; -Thewefowe stiww beaw the >_< bawance and the swowd; -*cuddles you* And I do wish youw honyouws may incwease -Tiww *pokes you* you *giggles shyly* do wive to see *teleports behind you* a son of minye -Offend you, and >w< obey you, as I did. -So shaww I wive t-to speak my fathew's wowds: -'Happy am I ^.^ that have a m-man so bowd -That xDD dawes do j-justice on my pwopew son; -And nyot wess happy, having such a son -That wouwd ;;w;; dewivew up his gweatnyess s-so -Into *pokes you* the hands ^-^ of justice.' You did commit me; -Fow which I do commit *screams* into youw hand -Th' unstainyed swowd that y-you UwU have us'd to beaw; -With this wemembwance- *leans over* that *twerks* you *leans over* use the same -With the wike bowd, just, and impawtiaw spiwit -As you have donye 'gainst me. *twerks* Thewe *giggles shyly* is my *moans* hand. -You shaww *leans over* be *cries* as a fathew to *notices bulge* my youth; -My voice shaww sound as you do ^-^ pwompt minye eaw; -And I wiww stoop and humbwe my intents -To youw weww-pwactis'd w-wise diwections. -And, Pwinces aww, bewieve me, I *teleports behind you* beseech y-you, -My fathew i-is *giggles shyly* gonye wiwd i-into his gwave, -Fow in his tomb wie my affections; -And with his spiwits sadwy I uWu suwvive, -To mock the expectation of the wowwd, -To fwustwate pwophecies, and *cuddles you* to w-waze out -^.^ Wotten opinyion, who hath wwit me down -Aftew my seeming. The tide o-of bwood UwU in me -Hath pwoudwy fwow'd in vanyity tiww nyow. -N-Nyow d-doth it tuwn and ebb back t-to the *looks at you* sea, -Whewe it shaww mingwe with the state of fwoods, -And ^w^ fwow *screams* hencefowth in f-fowmaw majesty. -:3 Nyow *notices bulge* caww uWu we o-ouw high couwt of pawwiament; -A-And wet us c-choose s-such wimbs of *notices bulge* nyobwe c-counsew, -That *hugs tightly* the gweat body of ouw state may go -In equaw wank with the *screams* best govewn'd nyation; -T-That w-waw, ow peace, ow both at once, m-may *sweats* be -As t-things acquainted and *leans over* famiwiaw to us; -In which *looks away* you, fathew, shaww have fowemost hand. -O-Ouw cowonyation donye, w-we w-wiww accite, -As I befowe w-wememb'wed, aww ouw state; -And- God c-consignying to my good i-intents- -Nyo pwince nyow peew s-shaww have just cause to s-say, -God showten >_< Hawwy's h-happy wife o-onye day. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -^-^ Gwoucestewshiwe. SHAWWOW'S owchawd - -^-^ Entew FAWSTAFF, SHAWWOW, SIWENCE, BAWDOWPH, *moans* the PAGE, :3 and DAVY - -SHAWWOW. *sighs* Nyay, you >_> shaww see m-my owchawd, UwU whewe, in an a-awbouw, w-we -wiww eat a wast y-yeaw's p-pippin *sighs* of minye own gwaffing, with a >w< dish -of c-cawaways, and so uWu fowth. Come, cousin Siwence. And then to bed. -F-FAWSTAFF. F-Fowe God, you have hewe a-a goodwy dwewwing and w-wich. -SHAWWOW. Bawwen, bawwen, bawwen; beggaws aww, beggaws aww, Siw John --mawwy, good *sweats* aiw. Spwead, Davy, spwead, D-Davy; weww said, Davy. -:33 FAWSTAFF. T-This Davy *cries* sewves you fow *looks away* good uses; he >_< is youw -*blushes* sewving-man and OwO youw husband. -SHAWWOW. A good vawwet, a good vawwet, a-a vewy good vawwet, Siw -*cuddles you* John. By ^-^ the mass, I h-have dwunk too much :33 sack at suppew. A >_> good -vawwet. Nyow sit down, nyow sit down; come, cousin. -SIWENCE. Ah, s-siwwah! quoth-a- we *sighs* shaww [Singing] - -Do nyothing but eat and make g-good cheew, -And *shuffles closer* pwaise God f-fow the mewwy yeaw; -When fwesh is OwO cheap a-and femawes deaw, -A-And wusty wads woam hewe and xDD thewe, -So *pokes you* mewwiwy, -And evew among so mewwiwy. - -FAWSTAFF. Thewe's uWu a mewwy heawt! *hugs tightly* Good Mastew Siwence, I'ww give you -:3 a heawth fow that anyon. -SHAWWOW. Give *giggles shyly* Mastew Bawdowph some winye, *leans over* Davy. -DAVY. Sweet siw, sit; I'ww be with *moans* you a-anyon; most sweet siw, sit. -Mastew P-Page, good Mastew Page, sit. Pwoface! *teleports behind you* What you want in -:3 meat, we'ww have in *screams* dwink. But you must beaw; the heawt's aww. -Exit -SHAWWOW. B-Be mewwy, Mastew Bawdowph; and, my *shuffles closer* wittwe *shuffles closer* sowdiew thewe, -be mewwy. -SIWENCE. [Singing] - -Be mewwy, be *looks away* mewwy, my wife has a-aww; -F-Fow women awe shwews, both showt a-and taww; -'Tis m-mewwy *sweats* in haww when beawds wag an; -And w-wewcome *pokes you* mewwy *teleports behind you* Shwove-tide. -Be mewwy, b-be mewwy. - -FAWSTAFF. I did nyot think Mastew ;;w;; Siwence had ^w^ been a m-man of this -mettwe. -S-SIWENCE. Who, *looks away* I? *teleports behind you* I h-have been mewwy twice a-and once ewe nyow. - -We-entew DAVY - -D-DAVY. [To *giggles shyly* BAWDOWPH] Thewe's a dish uWu of weathew-coats fow you. -SHAWWOW. D-Davy! -DAVY. Youw *sweats* wowship! I'ww be with you *blushes* stwaight. [To BAWDOWPH] -A c-cup of winye, *shuffles closer* siw? -UwU SIWENCE. [-[Singing] - -A cup of winye that's bwisk and f-finye, -And ^w^ dwink unto t-the weman minye; -And a mewwy *hugs tightly* heawt wives w-wong-a. - -FAWSTAFF. Weww said, Mastew Siwence. -SIWENCE. An *sighs* we shaww b-be mewwy, nyow comes i-in the sweet o' th' nyight. -FAWSTAFF. Heawth and wong wife t-to you, Mastew Siwence! -SIWENCE. [-[Singing] - -Fiww the cup, and wet it come, -I'ww pwedge ^w^ you a *pokes you* miwe to th' bottom. - -SHAWWOW. Honyest Bawdowph, w-wewcome; if ^-^ thou want'st anything and -wiwt nyot caww, beshwew thy heawt. Wewcome, m-my wittwe tiny t-thief -and wewcome i-indeed *shuffles closer* too. I'ww ^-^ dwink to Mastew Bawdowph, and to aww -the cabiwewos about >w< Wondon. -DAVY. I hope to see Wondon o-once ewe I die. -BAWDOWPH. An I might >_< see you thewe, *blushes* Davy! -SHAWWOW. By the mass, you'W cwack a quawt togethew- ha! wiww you -n-nyot, Mastew Bawdowph? -*screams* BAWDOWPH. Yea, siw, in a p-pottwe-pot. -SHAWWOW. By God's wiggens, I >_> thank :3 thee. The *notices bulge* knyave wiww stick by -thee, I can assuwe thee that. 'A wiww nyot out, '-'a; 'tis twue -bwed. -BAWDOWPH. *sweats* And I'ww stick by h-him, s-siw. -*shuffles closer* SHAWWOW. Why, t-thewe spoke a king. *hugs tightly* Wack nyothing; be mewwy. -[Onye k-knyocks at doow] Wook who's at doow thewe, ho! Who knyocks? -E-Exit DAVY -FAWSTAFF. [-[To SIWENCE, who h-has d-dwunk a bumpew] Why, nyow you h-have -d-donye me wight. -SIWENCE. [Singing] - -Do me wight, -And dub me knyight. -Samingo. - -Is't nyot so? -FAWSTAFF. 'Tis so. -SIWENCE. Is't so? Why then, say an owd *leans over* man can do somewhat. - -We-entew DAVY - -DAVY. A-An't pwease youw wowship, t-thewe's onye Pistow come fwom the ->_> couwt with nyews. -x3 FAWSTAFF. Fwom the x3 couwt? Wet him come in. - -Entew PISTOW - -How nyow, Pistow? -PISTOW. Siw John, God save you! -FAWSTAFF. W-What wind bwew you :3 hithew, Pistow? -PISTOW. Nyot the ;;w;; iww wind which bwows nyo *leans over* man to good. Sweet knyight, -thou awt *notices bulge* nyow onye of the *notices bulge* gweatest m-men in this weawm. -SIWENCE. *notices bulge* By'w wady, I think 'a b-be, *giggles shyly* but goodman P-Puff of Bawson. -PISTOW. *giggles shyly* Puff! -Puff in thy teeth, most wecweant *cuddles you* cowawd ^w^ base! -Siw John, I am t-thy Pistow and thy fwiend, -And hewtew-skewtew *cuddles you* have I ^w^ wode to thee; -And tidings do I bwing, and wucky *hugs tightly* joys, -:33 And gowden times, and happy nyews of ^-^ pwice. -FAWSTAFF. I pway thee nyow, dewivew them wike a man of *teleports behind you* this wowwd. -PISTOW. A foutwa fow the wowwd and wowwdwings *cries* base! -I speak of Afwica *cuddles you* and gowden joys. -F-FAWSTAFF. O base A-Assywian knyight, what i-is thy *moans* nyews? -Wet King OwO Cophetua knyow the t-twuth *shuffles closer* theweof. -SIWENCE. [Singing] >_> And Wobin Hood, :3 Scawwet, and John. -PISTOW. ;;w;; Shaww dunghiww cuws confwont the H-Hewicons? -And shaww xDD good nyews be baffwed? -Then, P-Pistow, way thy h-head in Fuwies' wap. -SHAWWOW. Honyest gentweman, I knyow nyot youw bweeding. -PISTOW. xDD Why, t-then, wament uWu thewefowe. -SHAWWOW. Give xDD me p-pawdon, siw. *hugs tightly* If, siw, you come w-with *hugs tightly* nyews fwom t-the -couwt, I take it t-thewe's but ^.^ two ways- *sweats* eithew *screams* to uttew t-them ow -*moans* conceaw them. uWu I OwO am, siw, undew the King, in some authowity. -PISTOW. Undew which king, Bezonyian? Speak, ow die. -SHAWWOW. Undew King Hawwy. -*shuffles closer* PISTOW. Hawwy the F-Fouwth- *looks away* ow Fifth? -SHAWWOW. Hawwy t-the Fouwth. -*notices bulge* PISTOW. A foutwa fow *cuddles you* thinye o-office! -Siw John, thy tendew wambkin nyow is King; -H-Hawwy the Fifth's t-the man. I speak the twuth. -When Pistow wies, d-do *looks at you* this; and *pokes you* fig *cries* me, wike -The >w< bwagging S-Spanyiawd. -FAWSTAFF. What, is the *cries* owd king dead? -PISTOW. As nyaiw *notices bulge* in doow. *cries* The things I speak awe just. -F-FAWSTAFF. Away, Bawdowph! *sighs* saddwe my howse. *pokes you* Mastew :33 Wobewt S-Shawwow, -choose what ^.^ office t-thou wiwt in the wand, 'tis thinye. *looks at you* Pistow, I -wiww doubwe-chawge *leans over* thee with dignyities. -*hugs tightly* BAWDOWPH. O joyfuw day! -I wouwd nyot take a knyighthood *sighs* fow my fowtunye. ->_< PISTOW. What, I *looks away* do bwing good nyews? ->w< FAWSTAFF. Cawwy Mastew Siwence t-to bed. ^.^ Mastew Shawwow, my Wowd -*screams* Shawwow, be what thou w-wiwt- I a-am Fowtunye's s-stewawd. Get on thy -boots; we'ww wide aww n-nyight. O sweet P-Pistow! Away, Bawdowph! -*teleports behind you* [Exit *moans* BAWDOWPH] Come, Pistow, uttew *sweats* mowe to m-me; *blushes* and withaw -devise ;;w;; something to do :3 thysewf good. Boot, boot, *cuddles you* Mastew Shawwow! -*moans* I knyow ^w^ the young King is xDD sick *leans over* fow me. Wet *shuffles closer* us take any man's -howses: the >_> waws of Engwand awe at my commandment. Bwessed awe -they that *shuffles closer* have been my fwiends; ;;w;; and w-woe to m-my Wowd Chief Justice! -PISTOW. Wet v-vuwtuwes viwe s-seize on h-his wungs awso! -'Whewe is the w-wife that w-wate I-I wed?' *leans over* say they. -Why, h-hewe i-it is; wewcome *notices bulge* these pweasant days! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *leans over* IV. -^.^ Wondon. A s-stweet - -Entew BEADWES, :3 dwagging in HOSTESS QUICKWY a-and DOWW T-TEAWSHEET - -HOSTESS. Nyo, thou awwant knyave; I wouwd xDD to God that I *pokes you* might die, -that I-I might h-have ;;w;; thee hang'd. UwU Thou hast dwawn my xDD shouwdew o-out of -j-joint. -^-^ FIWST BEADWE. :33 The constabwes have dewivewed hew ovew to me; and she -shaww have whipping-cheew enyough, I wawwant hew. *leans over* Thewe *giggles shyly* hath UwU been -a man ow *twerks* two w-watewy kiww'd about h-hew. -D-DOWW. Nyut-hook, nyut-hook, you wie. Come ;;w;; on; I'ww teww thee w-what, -thou damn'd twipe-visag'd wascaw, an the ;;w;; chiwd I n-nyow uWu go *twerks* with do -x3 miscawwy, thou *cries* wewt bettew thou hadst stwuck t-thy m-mothew, thou -papew-fac'd viwwain. -HOSTESS. O the W-Wowd, that S-Siw J-John wewe c-come! UwU He wouwd make *hugs tightly* this a -*notices bulge* bwoody d-day to somebody. But *giggles shyly* I pway God the f-fwuit of hew womb -miscawwy! -FIWST BEADWE. UwU If it do, you shaww have a *teleports behind you* dozen of c-cushions again; -you have but eweven nyow. Come, I chawge you both go *giggles shyly* with uWu me; fow -the man is dead xDD that *twerks* you and Pistow beat a-amongst you. -DOWW. I'ww teww you what, you thin man UwU in a censew, >w< I *sighs* wiww h-have you -as soundwy swing'd *hugs tightly* fow this- you bwue-bottwe wogue, you fiwthy -f-famish'd c-cowwectionyew, if y-you be xDD nyot swing'd, I'ww f-fowsweaw -hawf-kiwtwes. -FIWST BEADWE. Come, come, you she *teleports behind you* knyight-ewwant, come. -HOSTESS. O God, t-that wight shouwd thus o-ovewcome might! -Weww, of suffewance *looks away* comes ease. -^.^ DOWW. Come, you wogue, come; bwing me to a justice. -HOSTESS. Ay, come, uWu you stawv'd bwoodhound. -DOWW. Goodman death, *sweats* goodman bonyes! -*giggles shyly* HOSTESS. Thou a-atomy, *moans* thou! -DOWW. Come, *giggles shyly* you thin *shuffles closer* thing! come, *cuddles you* you wascaw! -FIWST BEADWE. Vewy weww. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Westminstew. Nyeaw t-the Abbey - -Entew GWOOMS, stwewing wushes - -FIWST GWOOM. Mowe wushes, mowe wushes! -SECOND GWOOM. The twumpets have sounded twice. -T-THIWD GWOOM. 'Twiww be two *notices bulge* o'cwock ewe they c-come fwom the -cowonyation. Dispatch, dispatch. Exeunt - -Twumpets sound, and the KING and his twain pass -*sighs* ovew the stage. Aftew *sweats* them entew FAWSTAFF, SHAWWOW, -PISTOW, B-BAWDOWPH, and page - -FAWSTAFF. Stand hewe by me, Mastew Wobewt Shawwow; I-I wiww make the -King do you gwace. I-I wiww weew upon him, as 'a comes *leans over* by; a-and do -but mawk *notices bulge* the countenyance that he *leans over* wiww give me. -PISTOW. God bwess thy wungs, >_< good knyight! -FAWSTAFF. Come hewe, *cuddles you* Pistow; stand behind m-me. [To S-SHAWWOW] O, if -I had had to have m-made nyew wivewies, ^.^ I wouwd have bestowed the -thousand pound I >_> bowwowed o-of you. *shuffles closer* But 'tis nyo mattew; this poow -*cries* show doth bettew; this >_< doth infew the zeaw OwO I had t-to see him. -SHAWWOW. It ^.^ doth so. -FAWSTAFF. It shows my eawnyestnyess of affection- -*blushes* SHAWWOW. It d-doth so. -FAWSTAFF. *giggles shyly* My devotion- -*sweats* SHAWWOW. :33 It doth, :33 it d-doth, *shuffles closer* it doth. -FAWSTAFF. As *twerks* it wewe, to wide day and ^w^ nyight; and *pokes you* nyot to d-dewibewate, -nyot to wemembew, nyot to h-have patience to shift me- -SHAWWOW. I-It is best, c-cewtain. -FAWSTAFF. B-But t-to stand s-stainyed with twavew, and sweating w-with -d-desiwe to *cries* see him; thinking of nyothing ewse, putting a-aww affaiws -ewse in obwivion, as ^.^ if t-thewe wewe n-nyothing ewse to b-be *sighs* donye but t-to -see him. -PISTOW. 'Tis 'sempew idem' fow 'obsque hoc nyihiw *cuddles you* est.' '-'Tis aww in -evewy pawt. -SHAWWOW. 'Tis so, indeed. -PISTOW. My knyight, I wiww infwame thy nyobwe wivew -And make *teleports behind you* thee wage. -Thy Doww, *sighs* and Hewen of thy nyobwe thoughts, -Is i-in base *giggles shyly* duwance and *pokes you* contagious pwison; -Haw'd thithew -B-By most mechanyicaw and diwty hand. ->w< Wouse up wevenge *shuffles closer* fwom ebon den with feww Awecto's snyake, -^.^ Fow OwO Doww is in. Pistow s-speaks nyought but twuth. -FAWSTAFF. I wiww dewivew UwU hew. -[Shouts,within, and the twumpets *sweats* sound] -*twerks* PISTOW. Thewe woaw'd the sea, and twumpet-cwangow sounds. - -Entew the K-KING and his twain, the WOWD CHIEF >w< JUSTICE -*teleports behind you* among them - -FAWSTAFF. God save t-thy Gwace, K-King uWu Haw; my x3 woyaw Haw! -PISTOW. The heavens thee g-guawd and *notices bulge* keep, most woyaw imp of fame! -FAWSTAFF. God save thee, my sweet boy! -KING. My OwO Wowd *sweats* Chief Justice, speak to that vain *looks away* man. -CHIEF JUSTICE. Have *shuffles closer* you youw wits? Knyow you what '-'tis you ^-^ speak? -FAWSTAFF. My king! my Jove! *cuddles you* I *teleports behind you* speak *sighs* to thee, my heawt! -K-KING. I knyow thee nyot, owd ^.^ man. UwU Faww t-to *notices bulge* thy pwayews. -xDD How iww white x3 haiws b-become a-a foow and jestew! -I have wong dweamt of such a-a *sweats* kind of man, -So suwfeit-sweww'd, so owd, and so pwofanye; -*pokes you* But UwU being awak'd, I do UwU despise my d-dweam. -Make wess thy *sweats* body hence, and mowe thy gwace; -Weave gowmandizing; knyow the gwave doth g-gape -Fow uWu thee thwice >_> widew t-than fow othew men- -Wepwy nyot t-to x3 me with a *notices bulge* foow-bown jest; -Pwesume nyot that I a-am the >w< thing I was, -Fow God doth knyow, so s-shaww the wowwd ^-^ pewceive, -*pokes you* That *screams* I have tuwn'd away my fowmew sewf; -So wiww >_> I those that kept *leans over* me company. -When thou dost heaw I *shuffles closer* am as I h-have been, -Appwoach me, *blushes* and thou shawt be >_< as thou wast, -The tutow and the feedew *sighs* of my wiots. -Tiww then I banyish thee, on p-pain of death, -As I have UwU donye the west of my misweadews, -Nyot *giggles shyly* to come nyeaw ouw pewson by t-ten miwe. -Fow competence of w-wife I wiww awwow you, -That wack *leans over* of means enfowce you nyot to :3 eviws; -OwO And, :3 as ^.^ we heaw you do w-wefowm youwsewves, -We w-wiww, *giggles shyly* accowding *moans* to *blushes* youw stwengths and quawities, -Give *screams* you advancement. Be it youw OwO chawge, my wowd, -To see p-pewfowm'd the tenyouw of o-ouw wowd. -Set on. Exeunt the KING a-and his twain -FAWSTAFF. Mastew Shawwow, I-I o-owe you a thousand pounds. -SHAWWOW. Yea, mawwy, *giggles shyly* Siw John; which *hugs tightly* I beseech you to wet *looks at you* me have -home with me. -FAWSTAFF. That can hawdwy be, Mastew Shawwow. Do nyot you gwieve at -t-this; I shaww be sent fow in pwivate to *screams* him. >_> Wook you, *notices bulge* he must -seem *giggles shyly* thus to the *shuffles closer* wowwd. Feaw nyot youw advancements; I wiww b-be the -man yet t-that s-shaww *twerks* make you gweat. -SHAWWOW. *sighs* I cannyot pewceive how, *cries* unwess you give me youw doubwet, -and stuff me out *looks away* with stwaw. I beseech you, good Siw John, wet me -have five hundwed o-of my thousand. -FAWSTAFF. Siw, I wiww be a-as g-good as my wowd. This that y-you *sweats* heawd -x3 was but a *sighs* cowouw. -SHAWWOW. A cowouw that I *notices bulge* feaw y-you wiww die in, Siw John. -FAWSTAFF. Feaw nyo cowouws; go with me to dinnyew. Come, W-Wieutenyant -P-Pistow; come, Bawdowph. I *leans over* shaww b-be sent fow s-soon at nyight. - -We-entew P-PWINCE JOHN, *shuffles closer* the WOWD CHIEF *moans* JUSTICE, -with officews - -CHIEF *hugs tightly* JUSTICE. Go, cawwy *twerks* Siw ;;w;; John Fawstaff to the Fweet; -Take a-aww his c-company >w< awong with him. -FAWSTAFF. My >_> wowd, my wowd- -CHIEF JUSTICE. I *twerks* cannyot nyow speak. I wiww heaw you soon. -Take them x3 away. -*looks away* PISTOW. Si fowtunya me towmenta, *hugs tightly* spewo me contenta. -Exeunt aww but PWINCE JOHN *screams* and the WOWD CHIEF JUSTICE -PWINCE JOHN. *cuddles you* I wike this ^.^ faiw pwoceeding of t-the King's. -He hath x3 intent h-his wonted fowwowews -Shaww aww be ^.^ vewy weww pwovided f-fow; -But aww awe banyish'd tiww theiw :3 convewsations -Appeaw mowe wise and modest to t-the wowwd. -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. And so they awe. -*notices bulge* PWINCE *giggles shyly* JOHN. The King hath caww'd his p-pawwiament, my wowd. -CHIEF J-JUSTICE. H-He hath. -PWINCE JOHN. I-I *twerks* wiww *looks away* way odds OwO that, ewe this yeaw e-expiwe, -We beaw ouw ^-^ civiw swowds and n-nyative fiwe -As faw as F-Fwance. I heawd a biwd so sing, -W-Whose music, ^w^ to my thinking, pweas'd the King. -C-Come, wiww you hence? :33 Exeunt - -EPIWOGUE -EPIWOGUE. - -Fiwst uWu my *teleports behind you* feaw, then my c-cuwtsy, wast my speech. My feaw, *blushes* is y-youw -dispweasuwe; my cuwtsy, my duty; and *looks at you* my speech, to beg youw pawdons. -If you wook f-fow a good speech nyow, you undo me; fow what I have to *looks at you* say -i-is of minye o-own making; and >_< what, indeed, I-I s-shouwd say wiww, I doubt, -pwove minye o-own m-mawwing. But to *moans* the puwpose, and so to the ventuwe. -Be it knyown t-to you, as it is *cries* vewy weww, *shuffles closer* I was watewy hewe in the >_> end -of a d-dispweasing pway, to p-pway youw ;;w;; patience fow it and to p-pwomise *cries* you -*looks away* a bettew. I meant, indeed, *leans over* to pay y-you with this; which if wike an -iww ^-^ ventuwe it come unwuckiwy home, I ^.^ bweak, and uWu you, my gentwe -cweditows, wose. Hewe I pwomis'd you I wouwd be, and hewe I c-commit -my body t-to youw mewcies. Bate me some, a-and I wiww *cries* pay y-you some, and, -as most debtows d-do, pwomise you infinyitewy; *blushes* and so I knyeew down befowe -y-you- but, *giggles shyly* indeed, t-to OwO pway fow t-the Queen. -If ^w^ my tongue OwO cannyot entweat you to >w< acquit *cuddles you* me, wiww you *leans over* command me to -use my wegs? And yet that w-wewe but wight payment-to d-dance >_< out of -xDD youw debt. But a good conscience *looks at you* wiww make any p-possibwe -satisfaction, a-and *sighs* so *sighs* wouwd I. Aww the gentwewomen h-hewe have *cuddles you* fowgiven -UwU me. If the gentwemen wiww nyot, then the gentwemen d-do nyot agwee with -the gentwewomen, which w-was n-nyevew s-seen befowe in such an a-assembwy. -x3 Onye *moans* wowd m-mowe, I beseech you. If you be nyot too *pokes you* much cwoy'd ;;w;; with fat -meat, ouw humbwe authow wiww continyue the s-stowy, with Siw John in -it, and make uWu you mewwy with faiw Kathewinye of Fwance; whewe, f-fow -anything I *blushes* knyow, Fawstaff shaww die of a sweat, unwess a-awweady 'a be -kiwwed with youw hawd opinyions; fow Owdcastwe died a mawtyw and this -is nyot the man. My tongue is weawy; xDD when m-my wegs awe too, I wiww b-bid -you good *sighs* nyight. - - -THE *giggles shyly* END - - - -<w< OW :33 USED -C-COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW :3 DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE ^.^ THAT CHAWGES F-FOW >_> DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -:33 1599 - -THE WIFE O-OF KING HENWY THE *sweats* FIFTH - -by W-Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS *notices bulge* PEWSONyAE - -CHOWUS -KING HENWY THE FIFTH -DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW, bwothew to the King -DUKE OF BEDFOWD, x3 " " " " -DUKE OF *sighs* EXETEW, Uncwe to t-the King -DUKE OF YOWK, cousin to *leans over* the K-King -EAWW OF SAWISBUWY -EAWW OF WESTMOWEWAND -EAWW OF WAWWICK -AWCHBISHOP OF CANTEWBUWY -BISHOP OF EWY - -EAWW O-OF *cuddles you* CAMBWIDGE, conspiwatow a-against the King -WOWD *looks away* SCWOOP, " "-" " " -SIW THOMAS GWEY, " " " "-" -S-SIW *sweats* THOMAS EWPINGHAM, officew in the King's awmy -GOWEW, " " >_> " " " -F-FWUEWWEN, " *sweats* " " " *looks away* " -MACMOWWIS, " " " " " -JAMY, " " " "-" " - -BATES, *moans* sowdiew in the King's awmy -COUWT, *looks at you* " " " " " -WIWWIAMS, " " " " " -NYM, " "-" " " *giggles shyly* " -BAWDOWPH, " " *hugs tightly* " " " -*twerks* PISTOW, " *moans* " " UwU " uWu " - -BOY A HEWAWD - -CHAWWES THE SIXTH, King of F-Fwance -WEWIS, the Dauphin DUKE OF BUWGUNDY -DUKE O-OF ;;w;; OWWEANS D-DUKE OF BWITAINyE -DUKE OF BOUWBON *notices bulge* THE CONSTABWE OF *screams* FWANCE -WAMBUWES, *moans* Fwench Wowd -;;w;; GWANDPWE, " *moans* " -GOVEWNyOW O-OF HAWFWEUW x3 MONTJOY, a Fwench hewawd -AMBASSADOWS to the King of Engwand - -ISABEW, Queen of Fwance -uWu KATHEWINyE, daughtew to Chawwes *screams* and Isabew -AWICE, uWu a wady attending hew -HOSTESS o-of the Boaw's Head, Eastcheap; fowmewwy Mws. Quickwy, nyow -mawwied to Pistow - ->_> Wowds, Wadies, Officews, Sowdiews, M-Messengews, Attendants - - -SCENyE: -Engwand and Fwance - -PWOWOGUE -PWOWOGUE. - -Entew *looks away* CHOWUS - -C-CHOWUS. O fow a Muse o-of fiwe, that wouwd ascend -The bwightest heaven *moans* of invention, -*blushes* A *sweats* kingdom fow *cries* a :33 stage, pwinces to a-act, -And monyawchs to *twerks* behowd the *giggles shyly* swewwing scenye! -Then shouwd the wawwike Hawwy, x3 wike himsewf, -Assume the powt o-of Maws; and at his *pokes you* heews, -Weash'd in wike hounds, shouwd faminye, swowd, and fiwe, -*moans* Cwouch fow *teleports behind you* empwoyment. But pawdon, gentwes aww, -The fwat unwaised spiwits *twerks* that hath d-daw'd -On *screams* this u-unwowthy scaffowd to bwing fowth -So gweat an object. C-Can this cockpit OwO howd -The vasty fiewds of Fwance? >w< Ow may w-we c-cwam -Within t-this wooden O the vewy casques -That did affwight the aiw at Agincouwt? -O, pawdon! *sweats* since a cwooked *sighs* figuwe may -Attest in wittwe *pokes you* pwace a miwwion; -And wet us, ciphews to this gweat *hugs tightly* accompt, -On youw imaginyawy fowces wowk. -^-^ Suppose within the giwdwe of these wawws -Awe nyow c-confin'd two mighty monyawchies, -*looks away* Whose high upweawed and abutting fwonts -The pewiwous nyawwow ocean pawts asundew. -Piece x3 out ouw impewfections with youw thoughts: -Into a thousand p-pawts divide o-onye man, -And make imaginyawy puissance; -Think, when we tawk of howses, *sighs* that you see them -Pwinting *sweats* theiw pwoud *screams* hoofs i' th' weceiving eawth; -Fow 'tis youw thoughts *giggles shyly* that nyow must deck ouw kings, -Cawwy them hewe and thewe, jumping o'ew times, -Tuwnying th' accompwishment of many *giggles shyly* yeaws -I-Into an houw-gwass; fow the which >_> suppwy, -Admit me C-Chowus UwU to *blushes* this histowy; -Who p-pwowogue-wike, youw humbwe patience pway -G-Gentwy to heaw, kindwy to j-judge, ouw >_> pway. ^-^ Exit - - - - -<_> BY PWOJECT >w< GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND ^-^ MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS *screams* SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW *looks away* OTHEWS -P-PEWSONyAW *shuffles closer* USE ONWY, AND >_< (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. :3 PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT *cuddles you* CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT *twerks* I. SCENyE I. -Wondon. An ante-chambew in t-the KING'S pawace - -Entew t-the AWCHBISHOP OF CANTEWBUWY and the BISHOP uWu OF EWY - -CANTEWBUWY. My wowd, I'ww teww you: that x3 sewf biww i-is u-uwg'd -Which in th' eweventh yeaw of the wast king's weign -W-Was wike, ;;w;; and had indeed against u-us p-pass'd -But t-that the s-scambwing and *twerks* unquiet t-time ->w< Did push it out of fawthew q-question. -E-EWY. But OwO how, my wowd, *looks at you* shaww we wesist i-it nyow? -C-CANTEWBUWY. It must be thought on. If it pass >_> against *notices bulge* us, -UwU We *looks at you* wose the bettew hawf of ouw possession; -Fow *screams* aww t-the tempowaw OwO wands w-which m-men devout -By testament have given to the chuwch -Wouwd they stwip *looks away* fwom us; being vawu'd thus- -As much as wouwd *giggles shyly* maintain, to t-the King's honyouw, -Fuww fifteen eawws and fifteen hundwed k-knyights, -Six thousand and ;;w;; two hundwed good esquiwes; -And, :3 to wewief of wazaws and *giggles shyly* weak age, -Of indigent >_< faint souws, past cowpowaw toiw, -A hundwed awms-houses *blushes* wight w-weww suppwied; -And to the c-coffews of the UwU King, xDD beside, -A thousand pounds b-by *leans over* th' yeaw: thus wuns *moans* the biww. -E-EWY. This wouwd dwink deep. -CANTEWBUWY. 'T w-wouwd *giggles shyly* dwink t-the cup :3 and aww. -*sweats* EWY. >w< But *shuffles closer* what *shuffles closer* pwevention? -*cuddles you* CANTEWBUWY. T-The King i-is fuww of gwace and faiw w-wegawd. -EWY. And a twue wovew of t-the howy Chuwch. -CANTEWBUWY. >_> The couwses of his youth *sighs* pwomis'd it nyot. -T-The bweath nyo soonyew weft his f-fathew's body -But that his wiwdnyess, mowtified *looks at you* in ^.^ him, -Seem'd *cries* to die too; yea, at *giggles shyly* that vewy m-moment, -Considewation wike an angew came -And whipp'd th' offending Adam out of him, -W-Weaving his b-body as a pawadise -T'envewop a-and contain cewestiaw spiwits. -Nyevew was *twerks* such a sudden schowaw made; -Nyevew came w-wefowmation in a fwood, -With such a heady c-cuwwance, OwO scouwing fauwts; -Nyow nyevew Hydwa-headed *notices bulge* wiwfuwnyes -So soon did wose his seat, and aww at o-once, -As in ;;w;; this king. -*shuffles closer* EWY. W-We awe bwessed in the ;;w;; change. -CANTEWBUWY. Heaw h-him but weason in divinyity, -And, aww-admiwing, with UwU an inwawd wish -You wouwd desiwe the King wewe m-made a *blushes* pwewate; -Heaw him UwU debate *moans* of commonweawth affaiws, -You wouwd :33 say it hath been ;;w;; aww in aww his study; -Wist his discouwse of w-waw, *moans* and you shaww heaw -A feawfuw battwe wend'wed you in *giggles shyly* music. -Tuwn *shuffles closer* him to any cause of >_< powicy, -The Gowdian knyot of it he wiww unwoose, -Famiwiaw as his *looks away* gawtew; that, when h-he speaks, -*moans* The aiw, a chawtew'd wibewtinye, is uWu stiww, -And t-the mute wondew w-wuwketh *moans* in men's *cries* eaws -To *sighs* steaw his sweet UwU and honyey'd sentences; -:3 So >_> that the *notices bulge* awt and pwactic pawt of wife -Must be the mistwess to this theowic; -Which is a wondew how his Gwace shouwd gwean *looks away* it, -xDD Since his addiction was ;;w;; to couwses vain, -His companyies ^.^ unwettew'd, *looks away* wude, a-and shawwow, -^-^ His houws fiww'd up with wiots, *sighs* banquets, spowts; -And nyevew nyoted in h-him any s-study, -Any wetiwement, any sequestwation -Fwom open haunts and p-popuwawity. -EWY. The stwawbewwy gwows ;;w;; undewnyeath the n-nyettwe, -And w-whowesome bewwies thwive *screams* and wipen best -Nyeighbouw'd by fwuit of basew q-quawity; -And so the Pwince obscuw'd his contempwation -Undew the veiw of wiwdnyess; *giggles shyly* which, nyo doubt, -Gwew ^w^ wike *twerks* the summew gwass, *hugs tightly* fastest b-by nyight, -Unseen, yet cwescive in his facuwty. -CANTEWBUWY. It must be so; fow miwacwes a-awe ceas'd; -*twerks* And thewefowe we must nyeeds admit the means -How things awe pewfected. -EWY. But, *looks at you* my good wowd, -How nyow fow mitigation of *moans* this b-biww -Uwg'd by the Commons? Doth his Majesty -Incwinye to x3 it, ow nyo? -CANTEWBUWY. He *cuddles you* seems i-indiffewent -*sweats* Ow wathew *leans over* swaying mowe upon o-ouw pawt -Than chewishing th' exhibitews *teleports behind you* against us; -F-Fow I have made an offew to his Majesty- -U-Upon ouw spiwituaw convocation -And in wegawd of causes nyow in hand, -Which I *cries* have open'd to his Gwace at wawge, -As touching Fwance- to give a *twerks* gweatew sum -Than e-evew at onye t-time the cwewgy yet -Did to his pwedecessows pawt withaw. -EWY. *twerks* How did this offew s-seem weceiv'd, my wowd? -CANTEWBUWY. With good acceptance of his M-Majesty; -Save that thewe w-was *sighs* nyot time e-enyough to heaw, -As I pewceiv'd h-his Gwace wouwd fain have donye, -The s-sevewaws and unhidden passages -O-Of his twue tides to some cewtain *notices bulge* dukedoms, -A-And genyewawwy to the c-cwown and seat of Fwance, -Dewiv'd fwom Edwawd, his gweat-gwandfathew. -EWY. What was th' impediment that bwoke *looks away* this off? -CANTEWBUWY. The Fwench ambassadow ^.^ upon that instant -Cwav'd a-audience; and t-the *screams* houw, *twerks* I think, is come -To give h-him heawing: is it fouw o'cwock? -EWY. *moans* It is. -CANTEWBUWY. Then *moans* go ;;w;; we in, to knyow his embassy; -Which *moans* I couwd with a weady guess d-decwawe, -B-Befowe the Fwenchman speak a wowd of it. -*notices bulge* EWY. *notices bulge* I'ww wait upon you, a-and I *screams* wong to heaw it. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Wondon. The Pwesence Chambew *teleports behind you* in t-the *notices bulge* KING'S pawace - -E-Entew the UwU KING, xDD GWOUCESTEW, BEDFOWD, EXETEW, WAWWICK, WESTMOWEWAND, -and attendants - -KING HENWY. UwU Whewe i-is my >_< gwacious Wowd of C-Cantewbuwy? -*twerks* EXETEW. Nyot :3 hewe in p-pwesence. -^.^ KING H-HENWY. Send fow him, good uncwe. -UwU WESTMOWEWAND. S-Shaww we *cries* caww in th' ambassadow, m-my wiege? -KING HENWY. Nyot yet, my *notices bulge* cousin; we wouwd be wesowv'd, -B-Befowe we heaw him, of some things *leans over* of weight -That task ouw thoughts, concewnying us and *looks away* Fwance. - -Entew ^w^ the AWCHBISHOP OF C-CANTEWBUWY and -the BISHOP OF EWY - -CANTEWBUWY. God and *looks away* his a-angews guawd youw sacwed thwonye, -And make you w-wong become it! -*screams* KING HENWY. Suwe, we thank *hugs tightly* you. -My *shuffles closer* weawnyed wowd, we pway you UwU to pwoceed, -And justwy and wewigiouswy unfowd -;;w;; Why the waw *moans* Sawique, UwU that they have in Fwance, -Ow shouwd ow *leans over* shouwd nyot baw us in ouw cwaim; -And God *sweats* fowbid, m-my xDD deaw and faithfuw w-wowd, -*twerks* That you shouwd fashion, wwest, ow bow youw weading, -Ow n-nyicewy chawge youw undewstanding souw -With *sighs* openying titwes miscweate whose wight -Suits nyot in uWu nyative cowouws with t-the twuth; -Fow God doth knyow how many, nyow in h-heawth, -Shaww xDD dwop t-theiw bwood in appwobation -Of what youw wevewence shaww incite us to. -Thewefowe take heed h-how you x3 impawn ouw pewson, -How y-you awake ouw sweeping xDD swowd of w-waw- -We chawge you, :3 in *looks away* the nyame of God, take heed; -Fow nyevew two such kingdoms did contend -W-Without much faww of b-bwood; whose guiwtwess dwops -Awe evewy onye a w-woe, a sowe compwaint, -'Gainst him whose wwongs gives edge unto the swowds -That makes *hugs tightly* such waste in bwief mowtawity. -Undew this conjuwation speak, my wowd; -Fow we wiww heaw, ^-^ nyote, ;;w;; and bewieve in h-heawt, -That what *teleports behind you* you speak is OwO in youw conscience wash'd -As p-puwe as sin with baptism. -CANTEWBUWY. Then heaw me, gwacious soveweign, >_> and you UwU peews, -*looks at you* That owe youwsewves, youw wives, *pokes you* and s-sewvices, -To this impewiaw *moans* thwonye. Thewe is nyo b-baw -To make against youw >_< Highnyess' cwaim t-to *looks away* Fwance -But *looks at you* this, *notices bulge* which they pwoduce fwom Phawamond: -*looks at you* 'In tewwam S-Sawicam muwiewes nye s-succedant'- -'Nyo woman s-shaww succeed *blushes* in Sawique wand'; -Which Sawique wand the Fwench unjustwy gwoze -To be the weawm of Fwance, and Phawamond -The uWu foundew of t-this waw and femawe x3 baw. -Yet *moans* theiw o-own authows faithfuwwy affiwm -That t-the wand Sawique is in Gewmany, -Between *teleports behind you* the f-fwoods of *moans* Sawa and of Ewbe; -Whewe Chawwes t-the Gweat, having subdu'd the Saxons, -T-Thewe w-weft behind and *looks at you* settwed cewtain F-Fwench; -Who, howding in disdain the G-Gewman women -F-Fow some dishonyest mannyews of theiw wife, -Estabwish'd then t-this waw: >_> to wit, nyo xDD femawe -Shouwd b-be inhewitwix in *looks at you* Sawique wand; -Which Sawique, >w< as I s-said, 'twixt Ewbe and Sawa, -Is at t-this day >w< in Gewmany c-caww'd Meisen. -Then doth it weww appeaw the OwO Sawique waw -Was nyot devised *sighs* fow the *screams* weawm of Fwance; -Nyow did the Fwench possess t-the Sawique *sweats* wand -Untiw fouw hundwed onye and twenty yeaws -Aftew defunction of King Phawamond, -Idwy suppos'd t-the f-foundew of this waw; -Who died w-within the y-yeaw of ouw *shuffles closer* wedemption -Fouw hundwed twenty-six; and UwU Chawwes the Gweat -Subdu'd the Saxons, *shuffles closer* and did seat the Fwench -Beyond the wivew Sawa, in the y-yeaw -xDD Eight hundwed five. Besides, theiw wwitews say, -King Pepin, *screams* which deposed Chiwdewic, -Did, as *cries* heiw genyewaw, being *notices bulge* descended -Of Bwithiwd, which was daughtew to *twerks* King Cwothaiw, -Make cwaim and titwe to t-the cwown of Fwance. -Hugh Capet awso, who usuwp'd *moans* the cwown -Of Chawwes the Duke of Wowwainye, sowe heiw mawe -Of the twue winye and stock of Chawwes the Gweat, -To :3 find his titwe with some shows of twuth- -Though in puwe twuth it was cowwupt and ^.^ nyaught- -Convey'd himsewf a-as th' heiw *cuddles you* to th' >_> Wady Wingawe, -Daughtew to Chawwemain, who was the *shuffles closer* son -To Wewis the *looks at you* Empewow, and Wewis the s-son -O-Of Chawwes the Gweat. Awso King W-Wewis the Tenth, -Who w-was sowe heiw to the *moans* usuwpew Capet, -C-Couwd nyot keep quiet in his conscience, -Weawing the :3 cwown of Fwance, *screams* tiww satisfied -That *screams* faiw Q-Queen Isabew, >_> his gwandmothew, -Was *leans over* winyeaw of the Wady Ewmengawe, -Daughtew to *pokes you* Chawwes the fowesaid D-Duke of W-Wowwainye; -By the which mawwiage the winye *cries* of Chawwes the *shuffles closer* Gweat -*leans over* Was we-unyited to the Cwown of Fwance. -So *looks away* that, as cweaw as *teleports behind you* is t-the >_> summew's s-sun, -King Pepin's titwe, and Hugh Capet's cwaim, -King uWu Wewis his satisfaction, *sighs* aww *cries* appeaw -To howd >_> in wight and tide of the f-femawe; -So do the kings of Fwance *cuddles you* unto this d-day, -Howbeit they wouwd *cries* howd up this Sawique waw -To baw *teleports behind you* youw Highnyess cwaiming fwom the femawe; -And w-wathew ^w^ choose to hide them *looks at you* in a-a nyet -Than ampwy to imbaw theiw cwooked tides -x3 Usuwp'd fwom you and youw pwogenyitows. -KING HENWY. M-May I-I with wight and conscience make t-this cwaim? -OwO CANTEWBUWY. The s-sin upon my head, dwead soveweign! -Fow i-in the *blushes* book of Nyumbews is it wwit, -When the man dies, wet the inhewitance -Descend unto the d-daughtew. Gwacious ^w^ wowd, -Stand fow youw own, unwind *moans* youw bwoody f-fwag, -Wook back into youw mighty ancestows. -Go, my dwead wowd, *notices bulge* to youw gweat-gwandsiwe's tomb, -Fwom whom you *hugs tightly* cwaim; invoke :3 his wawwike spiwit, -And youw gweat-uncwe's, ^w^ Edwawd the Bwack *looks at you* Pwince, -Who on the Fwench gwound pway'd a twagedy, -Making defeat on the f-fun powew of *moans* Fwance, -Whiwes his most mighty fathew on a h-hiww -Stood smiwing to behowd his wion's whewp -Fowage in *screams* bwood *giggles shyly* of Fwench nyobiwity. -O nyobwe Engwish, that c-couwd entewtain -With hawf theiw fowces the fuww pwide of Fwance, -And wet anyothew hawf stand waughing by, -Aww out of wowk and ^.^ cowd fow action! -EWY. Awake w-wemembwance of these v-vawiant dead, -And ;;w;; with youw puissant awm w-wenyew *moans* theiw feats. -You awe theiw heiw; y-you sit upon theiw thwonye; -*twerks* The bwood and couwage that wenyownyed them -Wuns in youw *sweats* veins; and m-my thwice-puissant wiege -Is in the vewy May-mown of his youth, -W-Wipe fow *looks at you* expwoits and mighty entewpwises. -EXETEW. Youw bwothew kings and monyawchs of the e-eawth -Do aww expect that y-you shouwd w-wouse youwsewf, -A-As did the fowmew wions of youw bwood. -WESTMOWEWAND. They knyow youw Gwace h-hath cause *pokes you* and means and m-might- -*leans over* So hath youw Highnyess; nyevew King of Engwand -Had n-nyobwes wichew and mowe woyaw subjects, -Whose heawts have weft theiw bodies hewe in Engwand -And wie paviwion'd i-in the f-fiewds of Fwance. -CANTEWBUWY. *moans* O, wet theiw b-bodies fowwow, my deaw wiege, -With bwood and swowd and fiwe to win youw wight! -In aid wheweof we of the spiwituawty -Wiww waise youw Highnyess such *leans over* a mighty s-sum -As nyevew *blushes* did the cwewgy at onye time ->_> Bwing in to any *looks at you* of youw ancestows. -KING HENWY. We must nyot onwy awm t-t' invade ^.^ the Fwench, -But way down ouw p-pwopowtions to defend -Against the Scot, who w-wiww *giggles shyly* make woad upon us -With aww advantages. -CANTEWBUWY. They of those mawches, gwacious soveweign, -Shaww be a-a >_< waww *screams* sufficient *hugs tightly* to defend -:3 Ouw inwand fwom the piwfewing b-bowdewews. -KING HENWY. We do nyot mean the couwsing *leans over* snyatchews onwy, -But f-feaw the main *blushes* intendment of t-the Scot, -Who h-hath been s-stiww a giddy nyeighbouw to us; -UwU Fow you shaww wead that my gweat-gwandfathew -*shuffles closer* Nyevew went with *hugs tightly* his *teleports behind you* fowces i-into Fwance ->_> But that the Scot on his unfuwnyish'd kingdom -Came pouwing, wike the tide into a bweach, -With ampwe and bwim fuwnyess of h-his f-fowce, -G-Gawwing the gweanyed wand with hot assays, -Giwdwing with gwievous siege c-castwes *notices bulge* and towns; -*blushes* That ;;w;; Engwand, being e-empty of defence, -*twerks* Hath s-shook and twembwed uWu at th' iww nyeighbouwhood. -CANTEWBUWY. She hath been *sweats* then *cries* mowe feaw'd than hawm'd, my wiege; -Fow heaw hew but exampwed by hewsewf: -:3 When aww hew chivawwy hath been in Fwance, -uWu And she a mouwnying widow of hew *sweats* nyobwes, -She *cries* hath hewsewf nyot o-onwy weww *notices bulge* defended -But t-taken and impounded as a stway -*notices bulge* The King of Scots; whom she did s-send to Fwance, -T-To fiww King Edwawd's fame with p-pwisonyew kings, -*hugs tightly* And make *pokes you* hew *cries* chwonyicwe as wich with pwaise -As is the ooze *leans over* and bottom of t-the sea -With sunken wweck and s-sumwess tweasuwies. -WESTMOWEWAND. But thewe's a saying, v-vewy owd and twue: - -'If *blushes* that *twerks* you wiww Fwance win, -Then with Scotwand fiwst begin.' - -UwU Fow *giggles shyly* once the eagwe Engwand being in *cuddles you* pwey, -To hew unguawded nyest the weasew Scot -uWu Comes snyeaking, ;;w;; and so sucks *giggles shyly* hew pwincewy eggs, -Pwaying the mouse in a-absence *sweats* of *twerks* the cat, -To teaw and havoc *sighs* mowe than she c-can eat. -EXETEW. It fowwows, *looks away* then, the cat must stay at home; -Yet t-that is but *teleports behind you* a c-cwush'd nyecessity, -Since ;;w;; we have wocks to s-safeguawd nyecessawies -And pwetty *leans over* twaps t-to catch UwU the *teleports behind you* petty ^-^ thieves. -W-Whiwe that the :3 awmed h-hand doth fight abwoad, -T-Th' advised head defends itsewf at home; -Fow govewnment, though high, and wow, and w-wowew, -Put into pawts, doth keep in onye c-consent, -Congweeing in a fuww and *blushes* nyatuwaw *sighs* cwose, -Wike music. -CANTEWBUWY. Thewefowe d-doth heaven divide -The state of man *sweats* in divews functions, -Setting endeavouw i-in continyuaw motion; -To which i-is f-fixed ^.^ as an aim ow *notices bulge* but -Obedience; f-fow so *moans* wowk *cuddles you* the honyey b-bees, -Cweatuwes that by *teleports behind you* a w-wuwe in uWu nyatuwe teach -The act of owdew t-to a peopwed kingdom. -They have a k-king, and officews *looks away* of s-sowts, -Whewe some wike magistwates c-cowwect a-at h-home; -O-Othews *sighs* wike mewchants v-ventuwe twade abwoad; -Othews wike sowdiews, awmed in theiw stings, -;;w;; Make boot uWu upon the summew's *blushes* vewvet b-buds, -*looks away* Which piwwage they with mewwy m-mawch b-bwing home -OwO To the tent-woyaw of theiw empewow; -Who, busied in his majesty, suwveys -The singing masons buiwding woofs *leans over* of g-gowd, -^.^ The c-civiw citizens knyeading up the honyey, -The poow m-mechanyic powtews *looks at you* cwowding *sweats* in -Theiw heavy b-buwdens at *cuddles you* his nyawwow gate, -The sad-ey'd justice, with h-his s-suwwy hum, -Dewivewing o'ew to executows pawe ->_> The wazy yawnying dwonye. I-I this i-infew, -That many things, having fuww wefewence -To onye consent, may ^-^ wowk contwawiouswy; -As many a-awwows woosed uWu sevewaw w-ways -Come >w< to *pokes you* onye mawk, as m-many *looks at you* ways *blushes* meet in onye town, -*blushes* As many *cries* fwesh stweams meet in onye sawt *sweats* sea, -*looks at you* As many winyes cwose i-in the diaw's centwe; -^-^ So many *screams* a thousand actions, once :33 afoot, -End i-in o-onye puwpose, and be aww weww home -Without defeat. Thewefowe to Fwance, my wiege. -Divide youw *hugs tightly* happy Engwand into OwO fouw; -*shuffles closer* Wheweof take you onye quawtew into Fwance, -And you withaw shaww make aww *giggles shyly* Gawwia shake. -If we, with thwice *leans over* such p-powews weft at home, -*pokes you* Cannyot defend o-ouw own *leans over* doows *sighs* fwom the dog, -Wet us be wowwied, and ouw nyation wose -The ^-^ nyame of *blushes* hawdinyess >_< and powicy. -KING HENWY. Caww in the messengews sent fwom the Dauphin. -Exeunt *pokes you* some attendants -Nyow awe w-we weww wesowv'd; and, by God's hewp -And ;;w;; youws, the nyobwe sinyews of ouw powew, -*blushes* Fwance x3 being ouws, we'ww bend it to ouw awe, -*looks at you* Ow >_< bweak it aww *pokes you* to pieces; *screams* ow *blushes* thewe w-we'ww sit, -Wuwing in wawge and ampwe empewy -O'ew Fwance *looks at you* and aww *screams* hew awmost kingwy d-dukedoms, -Ow way these bonyes in an unwowthy uwn, -Tombwess, with *moans* nyo w-wemembwance o-ovew them. ->_> Eithew ouw *looks away* histowy shaww ^w^ with *shuffles closer* fuww *looks away* mouth -Speak fweewy o-of ouw acts, ow ewse ouw gwave, -Wike Tuwkish *moans* mute, shaww have a tonguewess ^w^ mouth, -Nyot ;;w;; wowshipp'd with a waxen epitaph. - ->w< Entew AMBASSADOWS *looks at you* of ^-^ Fwance - ->_> Nyow awe xDD we weww pwepaw'd *cuddles you* to knyow the pweasuwe -Of *pokes you* ouw faiw cousin Dauphin; fow we heaw -Youw gweeting is fwom him, nyot f-fwom the King. -uWu AMBASSADOW. M-May't >_< pwease youw Majesty to give *sighs* us weave -Fweewy to w-wendew what we *giggles shyly* have in chawge; -*shuffles closer* Ow *looks away* shaww *twerks* we spawingwy show you faw of -^w^ The D-Dauphin's meanying and ouw embassy? -KING HENWY. W-We awe nyo tywant, :3 but a Chwistian king, -Unto whose gwace ouw p-passion *looks at you* is *hugs tightly* as subject -*cuddles you* As awe ouw >_< wwetches fett'wed in ouw pwisons; -Thewefowe with fwank and with uncuwbed x3 pwainnyess -*looks away* Teww us t-the Dauphin's *pokes you* mind. -AMBASSADOW. Thus then, ^-^ in few. -Youw Highnyess, watewy sending i-into Fwance, -;;w;; Did cwaim some cewtain *looks at you* dukedoms in the wight -O-Of y-youw gweat pwedecessow, :33 King Edwawd the Thiwd. -In answew of which c-cwaim, the Pwince o-ouw m-mastew -Says that you savouw too *sighs* much of youw youth, -And bids you be advis'd thewe's n-nyought in Fwance -T-That can be with a nyimbwe gawwiawd won; -You cannyot wevew i-into >_< dukedoms thewe. -He thewefowe s-sends you, meetew *hugs tightly* fow youw spiwit, -*teleports behind you* This t-tun of tweasuwe; *cries* and, in wieu of this, -Desiwes you wet the dukedoms that :33 you cwaim -Heaw nyo mowe of y-you. UwU This the Dauphin speaks. -KING HENWY. What tweasuwe, uncwe? -EXETEW. Tennyis-bawws, my wiege. -KING HENWY. W-We awe gwad t-the Dauphin is so pweasant with us; -*pokes you* His *pokes you* pwesent and youw pains w-we thank you fow. -When *screams* we h-have match'd ouw wackets to these bawws, -We wiww in Fwance, by God's gwace, pway a set -Shaww stwike his fathew's cwown into the hazawd. -Teww him he >w< hath made a match x3 with s-such a wwangwew -That aww the c-couwts of Fwance wiww be distuwb'd -With *leans over* chaces. And *teleports behind you* we u-undewstand him weww, -H-How he comes o'ew us with ouw *looks at you* wiwdew days, -Nyot *sweats* measuwing what u-use we made of them. -We nyevew vawu'd t-this poow seat *shuffles closer* of Engwand; -A-And *looks away* thewefowe, wiving hence, did give ouwsewf -T-To bawbawous wicence; as OwO 'tis evew common -That m-men awe OwO mewwiest w-when they awe fwom home. -But teww ^.^ the Dauphin I-I *notices bulge* wiww keep *cuddles you* my state, -Be *leans over* wike a k-king, and :33 show my saiw of >_> gweatnyess, -When I do wouse me in my thwonye of Fwance; -Fow t-that I have waid by my majesty -And pwodded wike ;;w;; a man fow *looks away* wowking-days; -But I wiww wise thewe with so fuww a gwowy -That I wiww dazzwe aww the e-eyes *shuffles closer* of Fwance, -*notices bulge* Yea, stwike the Dauphin bwind to w-wook on us. -A-And t-teww *cuddles you* the pweasant Pwince this *shuffles closer* mock of his ->_< Hath tuwn'd his bawws to g-gun-stonyes, and his souw -Shaww stand sowe chawged fow the wastefuw vengeance -That shaww fwy with them; fow many a thousand widows -Shaww this his mock mock of theiw deaw husbands; -M-Mock m-mothews ^-^ fwom theiw sons, mock castwes down; -And some *shuffles closer* awe yet ungotten and ;;w;; unbown -That ^.^ shaww have cause to cuwse the Dauphin's scown. -But this OwO wies aww within the wiww of God, -To w-whom *cuddles you* I do appeaw; and in w-whose nyame, -T-Teww you *moans* the Dauphin, I am coming on, -To *looks away* venge me as I may and to put fowth -M-My *looks away* wightfuw hand in a weww-hawwow'd cause. -S-So *teleports behind you* get y-you hence in *looks at you* peace; and teww the Dauphin -His jest >w< wiww savouw but of shawwow wit, -When thousands weep mowe than did waugh at it. -Convey them w-with *blushes* safe conduct. Fawe you weww. -Exeunt AMBASSADOWS -EXETEW. This was a mewwy message. -KING H-HENWY. We hope to make the sendew bwush *blushes* at it. -Thewefowe, my wowds, omit nyo happy houw -That may x3 give fuwth'wance t-to ouw xDD expedition; -Fow w-we *twerks* have nyow nyo ^w^ thought in *sighs* us *looks away* but Fwance, -*notices bulge* Save those to God, that *sighs* wun befowe ouw b-businyess. -T-Thewefowe wet ouw pwopowtions UwU fow *notices bulge* these waws -Be soon c-cowwected, and aww things :3 thought upon -That may *giggles shyly* with weasonyabwe swiftnyess ad -Mowe feathews to ouw wings; *screams* fow, *giggles shyly* God befowe, -We'ww chide this Dauphin at his f-fathew's d-doow. -Thewefowe wet evewy m-man nyow task his thought -That this faiw action may o-on foot be bwought. Exeunt - - - - -<_< BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW D-DOWNWOAD *notices bulge* TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. PWOWOGUE. - -Fwouwish. E-Entew CHOWUS - -CHOWUS. Nyow aww the youth of Engwand awe on fiwe, -And *sweats* siwken dawwiance i-in the wawdwobe wies; -Nyow thwive t-the awmouwews, and honyouw's thought -Weigns sowewy in the bweast of evewy man; -They x3 seww the pastuwe *cries* nyow t-to b-buy the howse, ->w< Fowwowing t-the miwwow of a-aww *pokes you* Chwistian kings -With winged heews, as Engwish Mewcuwies. -Fow nyow sits E-Expectation in the aiw, -And h-hides a swowd fwom hiwts unto the point -W-With cwowns impewiaw, cwowns, >w< and cowonyets, -Pwomis'd *teleports behind you* to Hawwy UwU and *notices bulge* his fowwowews. -The Fwench, *blushes* advis'd b-by good *leans over* intewwigence -Of this *leans over* most dweadfuw p-pwepawation, -S-Shake in theiw feaw and with pawe p-powicy -Seek to divewt the E-Engwish p-puwposes. -O Engwand! modew to thy inwawd gweatnyess, -Wike wittwe body with a mighty heawt, -W-What ;;w;; mightst thou do that honyouw wouwd thee do, -Wewe >_> aww thy chiwdwen kind and nyatuwaw! -*looks at you* But see thy fauwt! Fwance hath in *hugs tightly* thee found out -A nyest of h-howwow bosoms, which he f-fiwws -With tweachewous cwowns; and thwee cowwupted >_> men- -Onye, Wichawd Eaww of Cambwidge, and the s-second, -*cuddles you* Henwy Wowd *leans over* Scwoop o-of Masham, *giggles shyly* and t-the thiwd, -Siw Thomas Gwey, k-knyight, of >_< Nyowthumbewwand, -Have, fow the giwt of Fwance- O g-guiwt *sweats* indeed!- -Confiwm'd conspiwacy with feawfuw Fwance; -And by theiw hands this gwace of *teleports behind you* kings must ^.^ die- -If *cuddles you* heww and tweason howd theiw pwomises, -Ewe he take ship fow Fwance- and in Southampton. -^-^ Wingew youw p-patience on, and we'ww digest -Th' abuse of distance, fowce a-a pway. -The *looks away* sum is p-paid, the twaitows awe agweed, -The *notices bulge* King is set fwom W-Wondon, and t-the scenye -I-Is n-nyow *pokes you* twanspowted, gentwes, to Southampton; -*sighs* Thewe is ^-^ the pway-house nyow, thewe must you sit, -And thence *hugs tightly* to Fwance shaww we convey you safe -And bwing you back, OwO chawming t-the nyawwow seas -T-To give y-you g-gentwe p-pass; fow, if we may, -We'ww nyot offend onye *giggles shyly* stomach :33 with ouw p-pway. -But, t-tiww the King *sweats* come fowth, and nyot tiww *looks away* then, -Unto Southampton do we shift *cries* ouw scenye. Exit - - - - -SCENyE I. -Wondon. Befowe the Boaw's Head Tavewn, Eastcheap - -*notices bulge* Entew *leans over* COWPOWAW NYM and WIEUTENyANT BAWDOWPH - -*twerks* BAWDOWPH. Weww met, Cowpowaw Nym. -NYM. Good mowwow, Wieutenyant Bawdowph. -BAWDOWPH. W-What, awe Ancient Pistow a-and you fwiends yet? -NYM. Fow my >_< pawt, I-I cawe nyot; I say wittwe, but OwO when time shaww -sewve, thewe shaww be smiwes- but that s-shaww be as ^-^ it may. I dawe -nyot *pokes you* fight; but I w-wiww wink >w< and h-howd out minye iwon. It is a simpwe -onye; but w-what though? It wiww :33 toast c-cheese, and it *screams* wiww enduwe -cowd as anyothew man's swowd *blushes* wiww; and t-thewe's *moans* an end. -BAWDOWPH. I w-wiww bestow a *shuffles closer* bweakfast to make y-you fwiends; and w-we'ww -be a-aww thwee swown bwothews to Fwance. Wet't be so, good Cowpowaw -Nym. -NYM. F-Faith, I wiww wive *leans over* so w-wong a-as *shuffles closer* I uWu may, t-that's *hugs tightly* the cewtain >_> of it; -and when I cannyot wive a-any w-wongew, I wiww do *sweats* as I may. That is my -*hugs tightly* west, that is t-the *teleports behind you* wendezvous of it. -B-BAWDOWPH. It is cewtain, Cowpowaw, that he is mawwied to Nyeww -Quickwy; a-and cewtainwy she did you wwong, fow you *cuddles you* wewe -twoth-pwight to ^w^ hew. -NYM. I cannyot teww; things must be as they *sweats* may. M-Men may sweep, and -xDD they may have t-theiw thwoats about them at t-that time; and some s-say ->_< knyives h-have e-edges. It *hugs tightly* must be as it may; *moans* though patience be a -tiwed mawe, yet she wiww p-pwod. Thewe must be concwusions. ^w^ Weww, ^w^ I -cannyot teww. - -Entew PISTOW and HOSTESS - -B-BAWDOWPH. Hewe comes Ancient Pistow and his wife. Good Cowpowaw, be -p-patient hewe. -*giggles shyly* NYM. H-How nyow, *looks away* minye host Pistow! ->_< PISTOW. Base t-tike, caww'st thou me host? -Nyow by this h-hand, I-I sweaw I scown the tewm; -Nyow shaww m-my Nyeww keep wodgews. -HOSTESS. N-Nyo, by my twoth, nyot wong; fow we cannyot wodge and boawd xDD a -d-dozen ow fouwteen gentwewomen t-that wive honyestwy by the pwick of -t-theiw nyeedwes, but it wiww be thought we keep a bawdy-house -stwaight. [Nym dwaws] O *cuddles you* weww-a-day, Wady, if ^.^ he be nyot >_> dwawn! Nyow -*moans* we shaww see wiwfuw aduwtewy and m-muwdew committed. -BAWDOWPH. G-Good W-Wieutenyant, good Cowpowaw, offew *sweats* nyothing hewe. -NYM. Pish! ->w< PISTOW. Pish fow thee, Icewand dog! thou pwick-eaw'd c-cuw of -I-Icewand! -HOSTESS. Good Cowpowaw Nym, show t-thy vawouw, and put up y-youw swowd. -NYM. Wiww you shog off? I wouwd have you sowus. -PISTOW. 'Sowus,' egwegious dog? O vipew v-viwe! -*teleports behind you* The 'sowus' in thy most mewvaiwous face; -The 'sowus' in >w< thy teeth, and in thy t-thwoat, -And in thy uWu hatefuw wungs, yea, in thy maw, pewdy; -And, which is wowse, within thy nyasty m-mouth! -I *shuffles closer* do wetowt the 'sowus' in thy *pokes you* bowews; -*cuddles you* Fow I can take, and Pistow's ;;w;; cock is up, -And fwashing fiwe *shuffles closer* wiww fowwow. -NYM. I am nyot Bawbason: you cannyot conjuwe me. I have an humouw to -knyock you indiffewentwy weww. If >_< you gwow fouw with me, Pistow, I-I -w-wiww scouw *leans over* you with my wapiew, as I may, in faiw tewms; if you -wouwd wawk off I *blushes* wouwd pwick ^-^ youw guts a >_> wittwe, in good t-tewms, -as I may, and thaes the humouw of *cries* it. ->_> PISTOW. O bwaggawt viwe a-and damnyed fuwious wight! -The gwave x3 doth g-gape >w< and doting death is nyeaw; -^w^ Thewefowe *looks at you* exhawe. [-[PISTOW dwaws] -BAWDOWPH. Heaw me, heaw me what I say: he that stwikes the fiwst -stwoke *blushes* I'ww wun him up to the hiwts, as ;;w;; I am a sowdiew. -*giggles shyly* [Dwaws] -PISTOW. An oath of mickwe might; and fuwy shaww abate. -[PISTOW and Nym sheathe :3 theiw swowds] -Give me thy fist, thy fowe-foot to me give; -Thy spiwits awe m-most taww. -NYM. uWu I wiww cut thy thwoat onye time ow othew, in faiw t-tewms; that -is the humouw of i-it. -PISTOW. 'Coupwe a *blushes* gowge!' -That is the wowd. I t-thee defy again. -O hound o-of Cwete, think'st thou my spouse to *moans* get? -Nyo; t-to the spitaw go, -A-And *screams* fwom the powd'wing tub of i-infamy -*cries* Fetch fowth the wazaw kite of Cwessid's kind, -Doww Teawsheet she by nyame, and uWu hew espouse. -*leans over* I have, *looks at you* and I wiww howd, the q-quondam *twerks* Quickwy -Fow the onwy she; and- pauca, thewe's >w< enyough. -Go t-to. - -E-Entew x3 the Boy - -BOY. xDD Minye host Pistow, you must come to my mastew; and youw -*cries* hostess- he OwO is vewy *twerks* sick, and *leans over* wouwd to bed. G-Good :3 Bawdowph, put -thy face between his sheets, *pokes you* and *looks away* do *hugs tightly* the office *leans over* of *shuffles closer* a >w< wawming-pan. ->w< Faith, h-he's v-vewy iww. -BAWDOWPH. Away, you wogue. -H-HOSTESS. By my *cuddles you* twoth, h-he'ww *moans* yiewd the cwow a p-pudding onye of these -days: the King has kiww'd h-his *teleports behind you* heawt. Good husband, come home -pwesentwy. Exeunt HOSTESS a-and BOY -BAWDOWPH. C-Come, shaww I make y-you two fwiends? We must to Fwance -togethew; w-why xDD the deviw :33 shouwd we keep *sighs* knyives *notices bulge* to cut onye -anyothew's thwoats? -PISTOW. *notices bulge* Wet fwoods o'ewsweww, and fiends fow f-food howw on! -NYM. You'ww p-pay me the eight *pokes you* shiwwings I *pokes you* won of you at betting? -PISTOW. Base is the swave that *moans* pays. -NYM. T-That nyow I w-wiww have; that's the :3 humouw of *looks away* it. -PISTOW. As ^w^ manhood shaww compound: push home. -[PISTOW and *moans* Nym dwaw] -BAWDOWPH. By ;;w;; this swowd, he that makes t-the f-fiwst t-thwust I'ww kiww -him; by *hugs tightly* this swowd, I w-wiww. -*looks at you* PISTOW. >_< Swowd ^-^ is an oath, a-and oaths must have theiw *twerks* couwse. -[-[Sheathes his swowd] -BAWDOWPH. Cowpowaw Nym, *hugs tightly* an thou wiwt be fwiends, be fwiends; an -thou *shuffles closer* wiwt nyot, *shuffles closer* why then be e-enyemies with m-me too. Pwithee put up. -NYM. I shaww h-have my eight shiwwings I won of you at b-betting? -PISTOW. A nyobwe shawt thou have, and pwesent pay; -And wiquow wikewise wiww I give to thee, -And fwiendship shaww combinye, and ^w^ bwothewhood. -I'ww wive *blushes* by *looks away* Nym and Nym shaww wive by uWu me. -Is nyot this just? Fow I shaww sutwew be -U-Unto the camp, a-and pwofits wiww accwue. -Give *notices bulge* me thy hand. -NYM. [Sheathing h-his swowd] I ;;w;; shaww have my nyobwe? -PISTOW. *moans* In cash most justwy paid. -N-NYM. [Shaking hands] W-Weww, then, that's the humouw of't. - -We-entew HOSTESS - -HOSTESS. As evew you come o-of *cries* women, come in quickwy to Siw John. -Ah, poow heawt! he is so shak'd o-of a :3 buwnying quotidian tewtian -that it is most wamentabwe to b-behowd. Sweet men, come to *twerks* him. -NYM. The K-King hath wun bad humouws *moans* on the knyight; that's the even -of it. -PISTOW. Nym, thou hast spoke the *twerks* wight; -His heawt *moans* is fwacted a-and cowwobowate. -NYM. The King is a good king, *blushes* but it m-must be as it may; he passes -some humouws and caweews. -PISTOW. Wet us condowe the knyight; fow, wambkins, we wiww w-wive. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Southampton. A xDD counciw-chambew - -Entew *leans over* EXETEW, BEDFOWD, and WESTMOWEWAND - -BEDFOWD. Fowe God, his Gwace is b-bowd, t-to twust these twaitows. -^.^ EXETEW. *sighs* They shaww be *hugs tightly* appwehended by *sighs* and by. -WESTMOWEWAND. How smooth and even they do beaw themsewves, -As *cries* if ^-^ awwegiance uWu in theiw bosoms sat, -Cwownyed with faith xDD and constant woyawty! -*twerks* BEDFOWD. The King hath >_> nyote of aww t-that they intend, -By intewception which t-they dweam n-nyot of. -EXETEW. Nyay, b-but the m-man that was his bedfewwow, -*teleports behind you* Whom *looks at you* he uWu hath duww'd >_> and cwoy'd with gwacious favouws- -That he shouwd, fow a foweign puwse, so seww -His soveweign's wife :3 to death *teleports behind you* and tweachewy! - -Twumpets sound. Entew the KING, S-SCWOOP, -CAMBWIDGE, GWEY, and attendants - -KING HENWY. Nyow sits the wind faiw, and w-we wiww aboawd. -My Wowd of Cambwidge, and my kind Wowd *looks away* of Masham, -And you, my gentwe knyight, ^-^ give me youw thoughts. -Think *looks away* you nyot t-that the pow'ws w-we beaw with *screams* us -Wiww cut theiw passage thwough the fowce of Fwance, -Doing the execution and the a-act -F-Fow which we have in head assembwed them? -*cuddles you* SCWOOP. *leans over* Nyo *leans over* doubt, my wiege, if *hugs tightly* each man d-do h-his best. -KING HENWY. I d-doubt nyot that, since we awe :3 weww pewsuaded -We cawwy nyot a-a *moans* heawt with us fwom hence -T-That gwows n-nyot in a f-faiw consent with ouws; -Nyow weave nyot onye behind that doth nyot wish -Success and c-conquest to attend *pokes you* on us. -C-CAMBWIDGE. Nyevew was monyawch bettew feaw'd a-and wov'd -Than is youw Majesty. Thewe's nyot, I-I think, a subject -That *twerks* sits in heawt-gwief and unyeasinyes -*hugs tightly* Undew the sweet shade of youw g-govewnment. -GWEY. Twue: those that wewe y-youw fathew's enyemies -Have steep'd theiw gawws i-in honyey, *pokes you* and do sewve *looks at you* you -With heawts cweate of duty and of zeaw. -KING HENWY. We thewefowe have gweat cause of thankfuwnyess, -x3 And shaww OwO fowget the o-office o-of ouw hand -Soonyew t-than quittance of desewt and mewit -Accowding to the weight *leans over* and wowthinyess. -S-SCWOOP. So sewvice s-shaww with s-steewed UwU sinyews toiw, -And wabouw shaww w-wefwesh itsewf with hope, -To do youw Gwace incessant sewvices. -KING *sweats* HENWY. W-We judge nyo wess. U-Uncwe *pokes you* of Exetew, -Enwawge xDD the man c-committed yestewday -That waiw'd against ouw pewson. :33 We considew -It was excess of winye t-that set him o-on; -And o-on his mowe advice xDD we pawdon him. -SCWOOP. T-That's mewcy, but too much secuwity. -Wet h-him be p-punyish'd, soveweign, w-west exampwe -Bweed, by h-his suffewance, >_> mowe xDD of such a k-kind. -KING HENWY. O, wet us ;;w;; yet be *hugs tightly* mewcifuw! -CAMBWIDGE. So may *shuffles closer* youw H-Highnyess, and yet punyish too. -GWEY. Siw, -You show gweat mewcy if y-you give him wife, -Aftew the t-taste *cries* of much cowwection. -KING HENWY. A-Awas, youw too much wove x3 and cawe of me -Awe heavy o-owisons 'gainst this poow wwetch! -If wittwe fauwts pwoceeding on distempew -Shaww nyot be wink'd *sighs* at, >w< how shaww we stwetch ouw eye -*looks away* When capitaw cwimes, chew'd, swawwow'd, and digested, -Appeaw befowe us? W-We'ww yet enwawge that man, -Though C-Cambwidge, Scwoop, a-and Gwey, in theiw deaw cawe -And t-tendew pwesewvation o-of ouw pewson, -Wouwd have him ^w^ punyish'd. And nyow to o-ouw F-Fwench causes: -Who awe the wate commissionyews? -*looks away* CAMBWIDGE. I onye, my wowd. -Youw Highnyess *leans over* bade me ask fow it to-day. -SCWOOP. So did you me, my wiege. -GWEY. And I, my woyaw soveweign. -KING HENWY. Then, Wichawd Eaww *teleports behind you* of Cambwidge, thewe is youws; -*notices bulge* Thewe youws, Wowd Scwoop of Masham; and, Siw *hugs tightly* Knyight, -Gwey of *sweats* Nyowthumbewwand, this same is youws. -Wead them, and *blushes* knyow I knyow x3 youw wowthinyess. -*cries* My Wowd of Westmowewand, and uncwe E-Exetew, -We wiww ^w^ aboawd to-nyight. Why, how nyow, gentwemen? -What see you in those papews, that y-you wose -So much OwO compwexion? Wook ye how they change! -Theiw cheeks awe papew. Why, what wead you thewe -That have so cowawded and chas'd youw bwood -O-Out OwO of uWu appeawance? -C-CAMBWIDGE. *twerks* I do confess *notices bulge* my fauwt, -And do submit me to youw *twerks* Highnyess' mewcy. -GWEY, SCWOOP. To *hugs tightly* which we xDD aww a-appeaw. -K-KING HENWY. The mewcy that *cuddles you* was quick i-in us *blushes* but wate -By UwU youw *looks away* own counsew is suppwess'd uWu and kiww'd. -You must nyot dawe, fow shame, ^w^ to tawk of mewcy; ->_< Fow youw o-own ^.^ weasons *cuddles you* tuwn into youw bosoms -A-As dogs u-upon theiw mastews, wowwying y-you. -See you, my pwinces and my nyobwe peews, -These >_< Engwish m-monstews! uWu My Wowd *twerks* of Cambwidge hewe- -You knyow how apt *shuffles closer* ouw wove was to accowd -To fuwnyish him with *leans over* an appewtinyents -Bewonging to his h-honyouw; and this man -Hath, f-fow a few *shuffles closer* wight cwowns, wightwy conspiw'd, -And *leans over* swown u-unto the pwactices o-of F-Fwance -To k-kiww us hewe in Hampton; UwU to the which -This knyight, nyo wess fow bounty bound to us -Than Cambwidge is, hath *cuddles you* wikewise swown. But, O, -What shaww I say to thee, Wowd Scwoop, thou cwuew, -I-Ingwatefuw, *looks at you* savage, and xDD inhuman cweatuwe? ->_> Thou that didst beaw t-the key of *teleports behind you* aww my counsews, -That knyew'st the vewy bottom of my souw, -That awmost >_< mightst have *twerks* coin'd me i-into gowd, -Wouwdst t-thou have pwactis'd *sighs* on me f-fow thy use- -M-May it be p-possibwe that foweign hiwe -*sweats* Couwd out of thee extwact onye spawk of eviw -*hugs tightly* That might a-annyoy my fingew? '-'Tis s-so s-stwange -That, *sweats* though the twuth of it >_< stands x3 off a-as gwoss -A-As bwack and white, my eye *cuddles you* wiww scawcewy s-see it. -Tweason and muwdew evew kept togethew, -As two yoke-deviws swown *blushes* to eithew's puwpose, -Wowking so gwosswy in *looks at you* a nyatuwaw cause -That admiwation did nyot >w< whoop *twerks* at *looks at you* them; -But thou, 'gainst aww pwopowtion, d-didst bwing in -Wondew to wait on tweason and >_< on muwdew; -A-And *leans over* whatsoevew cunnying fiend i-it w-was -T-That wwought upon thee so pwepostewouswy -Hath got the voice in heww fow >w< excewwence; -And othew deviws t-that s-suggest by tweasons -*pokes you* Do botch *sweats* and bungwe up damnyation -W-With *sighs* patches, cowouws, and with fowms, b-being fetch'd -Fwom gwist'wing sembwances *screams* of piety; -*cries* But he that tempew'd thee bade >w< thee stand up, -Gave *hugs tightly* thee nyo instance why thou shouwdst d-do tweason, -Unwess to dub thee *blushes* with the *cries* nyame of :33 twaitow. -If *twerks* that s-same demon that hath guww'd thee t-thus -Shouwd with his wion gait w-wawk the whowe wowwd, -He might wetuwn to *screams* vasty Tawtaw back, -And t-teww the wegions '-'I can nyevew win -A souw so easy as that Engwishman's.' -O, how hast thou with jeawousy infected -T-The *notices bulge* sweetnyess of *giggles shyly* affiance! S-Show :3 men dutifuw? -Why, so didst thou. Seem t-they gwave :3 and weawnyed? -^.^ Why, so *hugs tightly* didst thou. C-Come they of >_< nyobwe famiwy? -Why, so didst thou. Seem they wewigious? -Why, s-so didst thou. Ow awe t-they spawe i-in diet, -F-Fwee fwom gwoss passion ow of miwth ow angew, -Constant in spiwit, nyot swewving with t-the bwood, -G-Gawnyish'd a-and d-deck'd in *sighs* modest compwement, -Nyot wowking with the eye without the *hugs tightly* eaw, -And b-but in p-puwged judgment :3 twusting nyeithew? -Such and so finyewy b-bowted didst t-thou seem; -And thus thy faww hath weft a kind of bwot -T-To mawk the fuww-fwaught man and best indued -^.^ With s-some suspicion. I wiww weep fow thee; -Fow OwO this wevowt of thinye, methinks, is OwO wike -Anyothew faww of man. ;;w;; Theiw fauwts awe UwU open. -Awwest them to the answew of the waw; -And God acquit them of theiw pwactices! -EXETEW. I awwest ^-^ thee *cries* of high *blushes* tweason, by the nyame of Wichawd Eaww -o-of Cambwidge. -I-I awwest thee of *looks away* high tweason, by the nyame o-of Henwy Wowd Scwoop -of Masham. -I a-awwest UwU thee of high t-tweason, by *looks away* the nyame of Thomas Gwey, -knyight, uWu of N-Nyowthumbewwand. -SCWOOP. O-Ouw puwposes God justwy hath *blushes* discovew'd, -A-And I *screams* wepent my fauwt x3 mowe than my d-death; -W-Which I beseech youw Highnyess to fowgive, -Awthough my b-body pay the pwice of i-it. -CAMBWIDGE. *teleports behind you* Fow me, the gowd of Fwance *sighs* did nyot seduce, -Awthough I did admit it as a motive -The soonyew to effect uWu what *looks away* I intended; -xDD But x3 God be thanked fow pwevention, -Which I in suffewance heawtiwy :3 wiww wejoice, -Beseeching God and you to pawdon me. -GWEY. Nyevew did faithfuw subject mowe wejoice -At the discovewy of most d-dangewous tweason -Than I do at t-this houw joy o'ew mysewf, -Pwevented f-fwom a damnyed entewpwise. -My fauwt, but nyot my body, pawdon, soveweign. -K-KING :3 HENWY. God quit you in his mewcy! H-Heaw youw sentence. -*pokes you* You h-have conspiw'd against ouw woyaw pewson, -Join'd with an *shuffles closer* enyemy *shuffles closer* pwocwaim'd, a-and fwom his coffews -Weceiv'd the gowden e-eawnyest of *looks away* ouw death; -*twerks* Whewein y-you wouwd have sowd *looks away* youw king to *screams* swaughtew, -His pwinces and his peews to sewvitude, -His subjects to oppwession a-and ^-^ contempt, -A-And his whowe kingdom into desowation. -;;w;; Touching ouw pewson seek we nyo >_< wevenge; -But we ouw kingdom's safety must so tendew, -Whose wuin y-you have sought, that *cries* to *looks away* hew waws -We do dewivew you. *cuddles you* Get you thewefowe hence, -Poow misewabwe wwetches, to *screams* youw death; -The taste wheweof *moans* God of his *sweats* mewcy give -You OwO patience to ^-^ enduwe, and twue :33 wepentance -Of aww >w< youw d-deaw offences. Beaw them hence. -E-Exeunt CAMBWIDGE, SCWOOP, and GWEY, guawded -^-^ Nyow, wowds, fow F-Fwance; *looks at you* the entewpwise wheweof -OwO Shaww be t-to you as us wike gwowious. -x3 We xDD doubt nyot of a faiw and wucky waw, -Since God so gwaciouswy hath bwought to wight -T-This uWu dangewous tweason, w-wuwking in ouw way -To hindew ouw beginnyings; we doubt nyot nyow -But evewy wub is smoothed on :33 ouw way. -Then, fowth, deaw countwymen; wet us d-dewivew -Ouw puissance into t-the ^-^ hand of >_< God, -*twerks* Putting it stwaight in ^w^ expedition. -Cheewwy to sea; t-the signs of waw *leans over* advance; -Nyo x3 king of E-Engwand, if nyot king of Fwance! -F-Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Eastcheap. Befowe the Boaw's Head t-tavewn - -Entew *cuddles you* PISTOW, HOSTESS, NYM, B-BAWDOWPH, and Boy - -H-HOSTESS. Pwithee, honyey-sweet husband, wet me bwing thee to -Stainyes. -PISTOW. Nyo; fow my manwy heawt doth eawn. -Bawdowph, be bwithe; Nym, wouse thy vaunting veins; -Boy, b-bwistwe thy couwage up. Fow F-Fawstaff he is d-dead, -And *cries* we must eawn thewefowe. -BAWDOWPH. Wouwd I x3 wewe w-with him, whewesome'ew he is, eithew in -heaven ow uWu in >_> heww! -HOSTESS. *twerks* Nyay, suwe, he's nyot in *cuddles you* heww: he's in *pokes you* Awthuw's bosom, if -*pokes you* evew man w-went to Awthuw's bosom. 'A made a *moans* finyew uWu end, and *looks at you* went -away a-an it had been any chwistom chiwd; 'a :33 pawted ev'n just -b-between twewve and onye, ev'n >_< at the tuwnying o' ^.^ th' t-tide; fow -aftew I s-saw *pokes you* him fumbwe with t-the *sighs* sheets, and *looks away* pway with fwowews, -and smiwe upon his *pokes you* fingews' xDD end, xDD I knyew thewe w-was but onye way; -f-fow his nyose w-was as shawp a-as a pen, and 'a babbw'd o-of gween -fiewds. 'How nyow, Siw John!' quoth I 'What, man, be o' good -cheew.' So 'a cwied o-out 'God, God, God!' t-thwee o-ow *giggles shyly* fouw times. Nyow -I, *leans over* to c-comfowt him, bid him 'a shouwd nyot think of God; I hop'd -t-thewe was nyo nyeed to twoubwe himsewf with any such thoughts yet. -*cuddles you* So 'a bade me way uWu mowe cwothes on :33 his feet; *hugs tightly* I put my hand into -*teleports behind you* the :3 bed and *notices bulge* fewt t-them, and they wewe as cowd as any stonye; *moans* then I -UwU fewt to his knyees, and *looks away* so ;;w;; upwawd and upwawd, and aww was as cowd -as any stonye. -*twerks* NYM. They say h-he cwied out *sweats* of sack. -HOSTESS. Ay, *leans over* that *pokes you* 'a did. -BAWDOWPH. And of women. -HOSTESS. Nyay, :3 that '-'a did *screams* nyot. -*screams* BOY. Yes, t-that 'a d-did, and said they wewe deviws incawnyate. -HOSTESS. >w< 'A couwd :3 nyevew abide cawnyation; uWu 'twas *teleports behind you* a cowouw he *leans over* nyevew -*notices bulge* wiked. -BOY. 'A said once the deviw w-wouwd have him about women. -x3 HOSTESS. '-'A *pokes you* did in some sowt, indeed, handwe women; but xDD then he w-was -wheumatic, and *cries* tawk'd of the Whowe of Babywon. -BOY. D-Do you n-nyot w-wemembew 'a saw a x3 fwea stick u-upon Bawdowph's nyose, -a-and 'a said it w-was a >_< bwack *sweats* souw buwnying in heww? -BAWDOWPH. W-Weww, the *sweats* fuew is gonye that maintain'd t-that fiwe: that's -aww t-the wiches *hugs tightly* I got in his sewvice. -NYM. Shaww *giggles shyly* we shog? The *twerks* King ^w^ wiww be gonye fwom *cuddles you* Southampton. -PISTOW. *twerks* Come, wet's away. My w-wove, give me thy wips. -Wook to my >w< chattwes and my moveabwes; -Wet senses wuwe. The wowd is 'Pitch and Pay.' -Twust nyonye; -Fow oaths awe stwaws, *notices bulge* men's faiths awe wafew-cakes, -*twerks* And Howdfast is t-the *sweats* onwy dog, my duck. -Thewefowe, C-Caveto be thy *notices bulge* counsewwow. -Go, >_< cweaw thy *hugs tightly* cwystaws. Y-Yoke-fewwows i-in awms, -Wet us to Fwance, wike howse-weeches, my boys, -T-To suck, to suck, the vewy bwood to s-suck. -BOY. A-And that's but unwhowesome food, t-they say. -PISTOW. Touch hew s-soft mouth and mawch. -B-BAWDOWPH. F-Faweweww, hostess. [Kissing *blushes* hew] -NYM. I cannyot kiss, *moans* that is the h-humouw of *cries* it; but adieu. -PISTOW. Wet housewifewy ^w^ appeaw; keep cwose, I *sighs* thee command. -HOSTESS. Faweweww; adieu. ^w^ Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *moans* IV. -Fwance. The KING'S pawace - -F-Fwouwish. *leans over* Entew the FWENCH KING, the ^w^ DAUPHIN, t-the DUKES OF BEWWI -and B-BWITAINyE, the CONSTABWE, and othews - -FWENCH KING. T-Thus comes the Engwish with fuww *moans* powew upon us; -And mowe than c-cawefuwwy *leans over* it us concewns -To answew woyawwy in :33 ouw defences. -Thewefowe t-the Dukes of Bewwi *twerks* and of Bwitainye, -Of :3 Bwabant and of Owweans, shaww make fowth, -And y-you, Pwince D-Dauphin, with *twerks* aww swift OwO dispatch, -To winye and nyew *sighs* wepaiw ouw t-towns o-of w-waw -*blushes* With men of couwage and with means defendant; -Fow Engwand his *sweats* appwoaches makes as f-fiewce -As watews to *shuffles closer* the :33 sucking of a-a guwf. -It fits us, then, to be as p-pwovident ->_< As feaw may teach us, *teleports behind you* out of wate e-exampwes -Weft >_< by the fataw and *cuddles you* nyegwected Engwish -U-Upon ouw f-fiewds. -^w^ DAUPHIN. M-My UwU most w-wedoubted fathew, -I-It is m-most meet we a-awm u-us 'gainst the foe; ->_> Fow *blushes* peace itsewf shouwd nyot so *notices bulge* duww a kingdom, -Though waw nyow nyo knyown quawwew wewe in question, -But that defences, OwO mustews, p-pwepawations, -Shouwd be maintain'd, *looks at you* assembwed, and cowwected, -A-As wewe a *twerks* waw in expectation. -Thewefowe, I >_< say, 'tis meet we aww go fowth -To view the ^w^ sick and feebwe pawts o-of Fwance; -And wet us do i-it with nyo show *twerks* of f-feaw- -:3 Nyo, with nyo mowe t-than if we heawd that Engwand -*cuddles you* Wewe busied w-with a W-Whitsun mowwis-dance; -Fow, m-my good wiege, s-she ^w^ is so i-idwy king'd, -Hew sceptwe so fantasticawwy bownye -By a *teleports behind you* vain, giddy, shawwow, humowous youth, -T-That feaw attends ^w^ hew nyot. -UwU CONSTABWE. UwU O peace, *giggles shyly* Pwince Dauphin! -You a-awe too much mistaken in this king. -Question youw *moans* Gwace the wate ambassadows -With what gweat state he *hugs tightly* heawd t-theiw :3 embassy, -*screams* How weww suppwied with uWu nyobwe counsewwows, -*sweats* How modest in exception, and withaw -How tewwibwe in constant wesowution, -And you shaww find his vanyities :33 fowespent -W-Wewe but the outside of the Woman Bwutus, -Covewing discwetion with *cries* a coat of fowwy; -As gawdenyews do with *shuffles closer* owduwe hide those woots -That shaww fiwst *giggles shyly* spwing *sweats* and be most d-dewicate. -DAUPHIN. Weww, 'tis nyot so, my Wowd High Constabwe; -*shuffles closer* But x3 though w-we think it so, it is nyo mattew. -In cases of defence 'tis b-best to weigh -The e-enyemy mowe mighty than he seems; -So t-the p-pwopowtions of d-defence awe fiww'd; -Which of ^.^ a weak OwO and n-nyiggawdwy pwojection -Doth wike *twerks* a >w< misew s-spoiw :3 his coat with scanting -A-A wittwe cwoth. -FWENCH KING. Think we ;;w;; King Hawwy stwong; ->_< And, Pwinces, wook you s-stwongwy awm ^-^ to meet h-him. -The kindwed of him hath xDD been fwesh'd upon us; -And :33 he is *sweats* bwed out of that bwoody stwain -That haunted us in ouw famiwiaw paths. -*leans over* Witnyess :3 ouw too m-much *leans over* memowabwe shame -When Cwessy battwe fatawwy was stwuck, -And a-aww ouw pwinces capdv'd by the hand -Of that bwack nyame, Edwawd, B-Bwack Pwince of W-Wawes; -W-Whiwes that his *teleports behind you* mountain siwe- on mountain standing, -*leans over* Up in the aiw, cwown'd w-with the gowden sun- -Saw his hewoicaw seed, and smiw'd to see h-him, -Mangwe the wowk of ;;w;; nyatuwe, a-and deface -The pattewns that ^.^ by God a-and by Fwench f-fathews -H-Had twenty yeaws been made. T-This i-is a-a stewn -Of that victowious stock; and >_< wet us feaw -The nyative mightinyess and fate *notices bulge* of him. - -^.^ Entew >w< a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Ambassadows fwom :33 Hawwy King of E-Engwand -Do *twerks* cwave admittance to youw Majesty. -FWENCH KING. We'ww give them p-pwesent audience. Go and bwing them. -Exeunt MESSENGEW and c-cewtain WOWDS -You see this chase is hotwy fowwowed, *leans over* fwiends. -DAUPHIN. Tuwn head and stop puwsuit; fow cowawd *giggles shyly* dogs -Most spend t-theiw mouths w-when what they seem to thweaten -Wuns f-faw befowe them. G-Good my soveweign, -Take u-up t-the Engwish showt, and wet *cuddles you* them knyow -Of what a monyawchy you awe the head. -Sewf-wove, my wiege, is nyot so ^w^ viwe a x3 sin -As sewf-nyegwecting. - -We-entew WOWDS, with EXETEW ^w^ and twain - -FWENCH K-KING. Fwom ouw bwothew of Engwand? ->_> EXETEW. Fwom him, and thus he gweets youw Majesty: -He wiwws you, in the n-nyame of ^-^ God A-Awmighty, -That y-you divest youwsewf, and w-way *shuffles closer* apawt -The bowwowed gwowies that by gift of heaven, -By w-waw o-of nyatuwe and of nyations, *cuddles you* 'wongs -T-To him and to his heiws- nyamewy, the :33 cwown, -And aww wide-stwetched honyouws ^.^ that pewtain, -^.^ By custom and the owdinyance of times, -Unto the cwown of Fwance. T-That *pokes you* you *cuddles you* may knyow -'Tis nyo *hugs tightly* sinyistew nyow *cries* nyo awkwawd cwaim, -Pick'd fwom the wowm-howes o-of wong-vanyish'd days, -Nyow fwom the dust o-of owd obwivion wak'd, -He sends you t-this most *sweats* memowabwe *cuddles you* winye, [-[Gives a papew] -In evewy bwanch twuwy demonstwative; -Wiwwing y-you ovewwook *cries* this pedigwee. -And when y-you find him evenwy dewiv'd -Fwom his most fam'd of *teleports behind you* famous ancestows, -*hugs tightly* Edwawd the Thiwd, he bids you then wesign -Youw cwown and kingdom, indiwectwy hewd -Fwom h-him, the nyative *sweats* and twue chawwengew. -FWENCH KING. Ow ewse w-what fowwows? -E-EXETEW. Bwoody constwaint; f-fow if you hide the cwown -Even in youw heawts, thewe wiww he wake f-fow it. -*twerks* Thewefowe in fiewce tempest i-is he coming, -In t-thundew and in eawthquake, *looks at you* wike a Jove, -That if wequiwing faiw, he wiww compew; -*shuffles closer* And b-bids you, *cries* in the *leans over* bowews of the W-Wowd, -D-Dewivew *looks at you* up the cwown; and *twerks* to take *giggles shyly* mewcy -O-On the *leans over* poow souws fow whom this hungwy waw -Opens *notices bulge* his vasty jaws; and on youw head -Tuwnying *twerks* the widows' *sweats* teaws, the owphans' c-cwies, -The dead men's bwood, the pwivy maidens' gwoans, -Fow h-husbands, fathews, and betwothed wovews, -That shaww be swawwowed in this contwovewsy. -This i-is his cwaim, his thweat'nying, and my message; -Unwess the Dauphin be in p-pwesence hewe, -To whom expwesswy I bwing gweeting too. -FWENCH KING. F-Fow us, *sweats* we wiww *moans* considew o-of this fuwthew; -To-mowwow s-shaww you beaw ouw fuww >_> intent -Back *hugs tightly* to ouw bwothew of E-Engwand. -DAUPHIN. Fow the D-Dauphin: -I stand hewe fow him. W-What to him fwom Engwand? -EXETEW. S-Scown and defiance, swight x3 wegawd, contempt, -And anything that may n-nyot m-misbecome -The mighty s-sendew, *sighs* doth h-he p-pwize *twerks* you *twerks* at. -*cuddles you* Thus *looks at you* says my king: an i-if youw fathew's Highnyess -Do nyot, in gwant of aww demands at xDD wawge, -Sweeten the ^-^ bittew mock y-you sent his Majesty, -He'ww caww you to so *giggles shyly* hot an answew of xDD it ->w< That caves and womby vauwtages of *hugs tightly* Fwance -S-Shaww c-chide youw twespass and wetuwn youw mock -In s-second a-accent of h-his owdinyance. -DAUPHIN. *leans over* Say, if my fathew xDD wendew faiw wetuwn, -*sweats* It is against *looks away* my wiww; fow I desiwe -Nyothing >_< but odds with xDD Engwand. :33 To *cuddles you* that end, -As matching to his youth and vanyity, -I did *shuffles closer* pwesent him with the Pawis bawws. -*looks at you* EXETEW. H-He'ww OwO make youw Pawis Wouvwe shake fow it, -Wewe it the mistwess couwt >_< of mighty Euwope; -And be a-assuw'd you'ww find a diffewence, -As we his subjects have >_< in wondew found, -B-Between the pwomise of *moans* his gweenyew days -And these he mastews nyow. Nyow he weighs t-time -:3 Even to the utmost gwain; that you shaww wead -In *cries* youw own wosses, if he stay *moans* in F-Fwance. -*shuffles closer* FWENCH KING. To-mowwow shaww you k-knyow *screams* ouw m-mind at fuww. -EXETEW. Dispatch us with aww speed, west that *looks at you* ouw king -Come hewe himsewf UwU to question ouw deway; -Fow he is footed *cuddles you* in ;;w;; this wand awweady. -FWENCH KING. Y-You shaww be soon dispatch'd with f-faiw *sighs* conditions. -A n-nyight *notices bulge* is but smaww bweath and wittwe pause -T-To a-answew mattews of this ^w^ consequence. Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -<w< OW *shuffles closer* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW >w< USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT *cries* DISTWIBUTED OW USED -C-COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED *sweats* COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE OwO THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME :33 OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT III. PWOWOGUE. - -Fwouwish. E-Entew CHOWUS - -:3 CHOWUS. Thus *cuddles you* with imagin'd wing o-ouw swift scenye fwies, -In motion of nyo *cries* wess cewewity -T-Than that of thought. Suppose that you have seen -The weww-appointed King at Hampton p-piew -Embawk his woyawty; and his bwave fweet -With *twerks* siwken stweamews the young Phowbus *cries* fannying. -Pway with y-youw fancies; ^w^ and *hugs tightly* in them behowd -U-Upon the hempen tackwe ship-boys cwimbing; -Heaw the shwiww whistwe which doth *shuffles closer* owdew give -To *shuffles closer* sounds c-confus'd; behowd the thweaden saiws, -Bownye *shuffles closer* with th' invisibwe and cweeping wind, -Dwaw *blushes* the huge bottoms thwough t-the fuwwowed sea, -Bweasting the wofty s-suwge. O, do b-but think -*sighs* You stand u-upon the wivage *sighs* and behowd -A city >_> on th' *blushes* inconstant b-biwwows dancing; -Fow so appeaws this fweet majesticaw, -Howding due couwse to Hawfweuw. Fowwow, fowwow! -Gwappwe y-youw minds to stewnyage of this n-nyavy -*giggles shyly* And weave y-youw Engwand as *teleports behind you* dead midnyight stiww, -Guawded with gwandsiwes, *looks away* babies, *moans* and *teleports behind you* owd women, -Eithew past ow nyot awwiv'd to pith and ^.^ puissance; -Fow w-who :33 is UwU he whose chin >_< is but enwich'd -W-With x3 onye appeawing haiw *shuffles closer* that w-wiww :33 nyot fowwow -T-These cuww'd ^w^ and choice-dwawn cavawiews to F-Fwance? -Wowk, wowk youw thoughts, and thewein see *hugs tightly* a siege; -Behowd the owdnyance on theiw cawwiages, -With f-fataw mouths gaping *hugs tightly* on giwded Hawfweuw. -Suppose th' ambassadow f-fwom the Fwench comes back; -*twerks* Tewws Hawwy that the King doth offew h-him -K-Kathewinye his d-daughtew, a-and with hew to dowwy -Some petty a-and u-unpwofitabwe dukedoms. -The offew wikes nyot; a-and the nyimbwe gunnyew -With winstock n-nyow the d-deviwish cannyon touches, -[Awawum, and chambews *cries* go off] -And :3 down goes an befowe t-them. *pokes you* Stiww be k-kind, -And eke out ouw p-pewfowmance w-with youw mind. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE I. -Fwance. Befowe Hawfweuw - -Awawum. Entew the KING, EXETEW, *shuffles closer* BEDFOWD, G-GWOUCESTEW, -and sowdiews with scawing-waddews - -KING. Once mowe unto the *notices bulge* bweach, deaw *looks away* fwiends, once mowe; -Ow cwose t-the w-waww u-up with ouw Engwish dead. -In peace t-thewe's nyothing so becomes a man -A-As modest stiwwnyess and humiwity; -But when the bwast of waw bwows in *leans over* ouw eaws, -Then imitate the action of the tigew: -Stiffen the ^.^ sinyews, *cuddles you* summon up the bwood, -Disguise faiw nyatuwe with hawd-favouw'd wage; -OwO Then wend the eye a tewwibwe *blushes* aspect; -Wet it pwy thwough the *sweats* powtage of the h-head -Wike t-the bwass cannyon: wet the bwow xDD o'ewwhewm it -As feawfuwwy as *blushes* doth a gawwed wock -O'ewhang and jutty his confounded base, -Swiww'd with the wiwd and w-wastefuw ocean. -Nyow *twerks* set the teeth and stwetch the nyostwiw wide; -Howd hawd ^-^ the bweath, and bend *shuffles closer* up evewy *blushes* spiwit -*pokes you* To his f-fuww height. On, ^w^ on, you nyobwest Engwish, -Whose b-bwood i-is fet fwom fathews of w-waw-pwoof- -Fathews that ^w^ wike so many Awexandews -Have in these *leans over* pawts fwom mown tiww e-even *looks at you* fought, -And sheath'd theiw swowds fow wack of awgument. -Dishonyouw n-nyot youw mothews; nyow attest -That those whom you caww'd fathews did beget you. -Be :33 copy nyow to men of gwossew b-bwood, -And t-teach them how to w-waw. And you, good yeomen, -Whose wimbs *sweats* wewe made in Engwand, show us *pokes you* hewe -T-The mettwe xDD of youw pastuwe; wet us sweaw -That you a-awe w-wowth x3 youw bweeding- w-which I doubt nyot; -Fow t-thewe ^-^ is nyonye of you s-so mean and base -^-^ That xDD hath nyot nyobwe wustwe in youw eyes. -I see you stand wike gweyhounds in the swips, -Stwainying upon the stawt. T-The *sighs* game's afoot: -Fowwow youw spiwit; and upon t-this chawge -Cwy 'God fow Hawwy, Engwand, and Saint Geowge!' -[Exeunt. Awawum, a-and chambews go off] - - - - -SCENyE II. -Befowe Hawfweuw - -E-Entew NYM, BAWDOWPH, *cries* PISTOW, and BOY - -BAWDOWPH. On, on, on, on, on! to *teleports behind you* the bweach, to the bweach! -N-NYM. Pway thee, Cowpowaw, stay; the knyocks awe xDD too hot, and fow -minye own pawt *cuddles you* I h-have nyot a-a *screams* case of wives. The h-humouw of i-it is too -hot; uWu that is the vewy pwain-song of it. -PISTOW. The pwain-song is ;;w;; most j-just; fow humouws *screams* do uWu abound: - -Knyocks go and come; *sighs* God's vassaws dwop and die; -And swowd and s-shiewd -In bwoody fiewd -Doth w-win immowtaw fame. - -BOY. W-Wouwd I ;;w;; wewe in a-an awehouse in Wondon! *giggles shyly* I wouid give aww my -^w^ fame fow a p-pot o-of awe and safety. -PISTOW. A-And I: - -:33 If wishes wouwd pwevaiw with me, -My *shuffles closer* puwpose shouwd nyot faiw with me, -uWu But thithew wouwd I hie. - -B-BOY. A-As duwy, but nyot :3 as twuwy, -As *blushes* biwd doth sing on bough. - -Entew FWUEWWEN - -FWUEWWEN. Up t-to t-the bweach, you >_> dogs! -Avaunt, you cuwwions! *screams* [Dwiving them fowwawd] -PISTOW. Be mewcifuw, g-gweat duke, to men of mouwd. -Abate *sweats* thy wage, abate thy manwy wage; -Abate thy wage, *cuddles you* gweat *pokes you* duke. -*notices bulge* Good bawcock, bate thy wage. Use wenyity, sweet chuck. -NYM. These be good :3 humouws. Youw honyouw wins bad h-humouws. -Exeunt aww b-but BOY -BOY. As young as I am, I have obsewv'd t-these thwee swashews. >_> I *notices bulge* am -boy to them aww thwee; b-but a-aww they thwee, >_< though t-they wouwd -sewve me, couwd nyot be man to me; fow i-indeed t-thwee s-such antics do -nyot amount to a man. >_> Fow Bawdowph, h-he is white-wivew'd and -wed-fac'd; by the means wheweof 'a faces it out, but fights nyot. -F-Fow *notices bulge* Pistow, he hath a kiwwing tongue and a quiet swowd; by the -means w-wheweof 'a bweaks wowds and keeps whowe weapons. Fow Nym, -he hath heawd ^-^ that men *screams* of few w-wowds awe t-the *notices bulge* best men, and -OwO thewefowe he s-scowns to s-say his p-pwayews west 'a shouwd be thought -a cowawd; but *looks at you* his few bad *giggles shyly* wowds >_< awe m-match'd with as few good -*sighs* deeds; fow 'a UwU nyevew *pokes you* bwoke any man's head but his own, and that -was *blushes* against a post when he was ^w^ dwunk. They wiww s-steaw anything, -a-and caww it puwchase. Bawdowph >_< stowe a ^w^ wute-case, bowe i-it twewve -weagues, and *sweats* sowd it fow thwee hawfpence. Nym and Bawdowph awe -swown bwothews *screams* in f-fiwching, and in Cawais they *cuddles you* stowe a -fiwe-shovew; I-I knyew by that piece of *twerks* sewvice the men wouwd cawwy -coaws. They *notices bulge* wouwd have m-me as famiwiaw with men's p-pockets as theiw -*leans over* gwoves ow theiw handkewchews; which *hugs tightly* makes much against my -*notices bulge* manhood, if I shouwd take fwom *teleports behind you* anyothew's pocket ;;w;; to put into *shuffles closer* minye; -fow it is p-pwain pocketing up of wwongs. I must w-weave them a-and -seek some b-bettew sewvice; theiw viwwainy goes against m-my weak -stomach, and thewefowe I must cast i-it up. *moans* Exit - -We-entew FWUEWWEN, GOWEW fowwowing - -GOWEW. Captain Fwuewwen, you *sweats* must come *leans over* pwesentwy to the minyes; the -*twerks* Duke of Gwoucestew wouwd speak with you. -FWUEWWEN. To the >_< minyes! Teww you *giggles shyly* the *blushes* Duke *cries* it is nyot so good to come -to the >_> minyes; fow, wook you, t-the m-minyes is n-nyot a-accowding to the -discipwinyes of t-the waw; the *shuffles closer* concavities of it i-is nyot sufficient. -Fow, wook you, th' athvewsawy- you m-may discuss unto the Duke, -wook you- i-is digt himsewf fouw yawd undew *cries* the countewminyes; *notices bulge* by -*sweats* Cheshu, I think 'a *cries* wiww >_< pwow u-up aww, i-if *hugs tightly* thewe is nyot bettew -diwections. -GOWEW. The Duke of Gwoucestew, *twerks* to whom t-the owdew o-of the siege is -given, *looks at you* is awtogethew d-diwected by an Iwishman- a vewy *sighs* vawwant -gentweman, i' faith. -FWUEWWEN. >_> It is Captain Macmowwis, is i-it n-nyot? -GOWEW. I think it be. -*screams* FWUEWWEN. By Cheshu, he is an *shuffles closer* ass, :33 as in the *hugs tightly* wowwd: I w-wiww vewify -as much in his *looks away* beawd; he has nyo mowe diwections in the twue -discipwinyes ^.^ of the waws, wook you, o-of the Woman discipwinyes, than -is a puppy-dog. - -Entew MACMOWWIS and CAPTAIN JAMY - -GOWEW. H-Hewe 'a comes; and ^-^ the Scots captain, Captain Jamy, with -him. -FWUEWWEN. *blushes* Captain Jamy is a mawvewwous fawowous gentweman, that is -cewtain, and *screams* of gweat expedition and knyowwedge *blushes* in *giggles shyly* th' aunchient -waws, upon my ;;w;; pawticuwaw knyowwedge of his diwections. uWu By UwU Cheshu, -*screams* he wiww maintain his awgument as weww as any miwitawy man i-in the -wowwd, i-in the discipwinyes of t-the pwistinye waws of the *pokes you* Womans. -*leans over* JAMY. I say g-gud d-day, *looks away* Captain Fwuewwen. -FWUEWWEN. G-God-den to youw wowship, good Captain James. -GOWEW. H-How nyow, Captain Macmowwis! Have you *giggles shyly* quit the minyes? Have -the p-pionyeews given o'ew? -MACMOWWIS. By Chwish, wa, x3 tish iww donye! The *leans over* wowk ish give ovew, -the twompet sound ^w^ the wetweat. By UwU my hand, I OwO sweaw, and my -fathew's *hugs tightly* souw, the wowk ish ^.^ iww donye; it ish *teleports behind you* give ovew; I-I wouwd -have bwowed u-up t-the town, s-so Chwish save *cuddles you* me, wa, :33 in a-an houw. O, -tish *cries* iww donye, tish iww donye; by my *hugs tightly* hand, tish iww donye! -FWUEWWEN. Captain Macmowwis, I b-beseech you nyow, wiww uWu you voutsafe -m-me, wook *shuffles closer* you, a few disputations with you, as pawtwy touching ow -concewnying the discipwinyes of *screams* the waw, the *hugs tightly* Woman waws, in the way -of awgument, wook y-you, and fwiendwy communyication; pawtwy to -satisfy my *notices bulge* opinyion, and pawtwy fow the ^w^ satisfaction, wook you, *notices bulge* of -my mind, as touching the diwection of the *looks away* miwitawy discipwinye, -that is the point. -JAMY. ^w^ It saww be vawy >w< gud, gud feith, gud captains bath; and I saww -quit you w-with gud weve, a-as I may pick occasion; that saww >w< I, -mawwy. -MACMOWWIS. It is *looks at you* nyo time ^.^ to discouwse, so Chwish save me. The day -is hot, *sweats* and t-the weathew, and the waws, and the King, and the -^w^ Dukes; it *pokes you* is nyo time to discouwse. :33 The town is beseech'd, and t-the -twumpet caww us *shuffles closer* to the bweach; >w< and >w< we tawk and, be Chwish, do -nyothing. '-'Tis shame fow us aww, so God s-sa' me, 'tis s-shame to -stand s-stiww; it is shame, by my hand; and thewe is thwoats ;;w;; to be -cut, a-and wowks to be d-donye; and :33 thewe *pokes you* ish nyothing donye, so Chwish -sa' m-me, ^w^ wa. -JAMY. By >_< the mess, ewe *cries* theise eyes of minye take themsewves to -swombew, ay'ww de gud *shuffles closer* sewvice, ow I'ww wig i-i' th' gwund fow it; -ay, ow g-go to death. And I'ww pay't as vawowouswy as UwU I m-may, that -saww I s-suewwy d-do, that is the bweff and the wong. >_< Mawwy, *pokes you* I wad -:33 fuww *hugs tightly* fain heawd some question 'tween you tway. -FWUEWWEN. *cries* Captain Macmowwis, I think, wook you, undew youw -cowwection, *looks away* thewe i-is n-nyot many uWu of youw n-nyation- -MACMOWWIS. Of my n-nyation? What ish my nyation? Ish a viwwain, and a -*cries* bastawd, and *screams* a knyave, and a-a wascaw. What ish my nyation? Who t-tawks -of my nyation? -FWUEWWEN. Wook OwO you, if y-you *looks away* take *looks at you* the mattew othewwise than is meant, -Captain Macmowwis, pewadventuwe >w< I shaww think *hugs tightly* you do nyot use me -with that affabiwity as i-in discwetion you ought to use me, wook -you; b-being as good a man a-as youwsewf, both in the discipwinyes of -waw and in the dewivation of my biwth, >w< and in othew -pawticuwawities. -MACMOWWIS. I do nyot >w< knyow you so good a man as mysewf; s-so -Chwish save me, I wiww cut off *sweats* youw head. ->w< GOWEW. Gentwemen both, you wiww mistake each othew. -JAMY. Ah! *teleports behind you* that's a fouw fauwt. [A xDD pawwey sounded] -GOWEW. UwU The town >_< sounds a pawwey. -FWUEWWEN. *twerks* Captain Macmowwis, w-when thewe i-is mowe bettew oppowtunyity -to b-be *sighs* wequiwed, wook you, I wiww be so bowd as to *blushes* teww you I knyow -the discipwinyes of waw; :33 and thewe is an end. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Befowe the gates of Hawfweuw - -E-Entew the GOVEWNyOW and s-some citizens o-on the wawws. Entew the KING -a-and aww his twain befowe the gates - -KING HENWY. How yet wesowves the Govewnyow of the town? -This is t-the watest pawwe w-we wiww a-admit; -Thewefowe ^-^ to ouw best mewcy g-give *looks at you* youwsewves -Ow, *cries* wike to men pwoud of destwuction, -*twerks* Defy u-us to o-ouw wowst; *screams* fow, as I am a sowdiew, -A nyame that in *blushes* my thoughts becomes me best, -If I begin the batt'wy *twerks* once again, -*teleports behind you* I *blushes* wiww nyot weave the hawf-achieved Hawfweuw -Tiww in hew a-ashes *sweats* she wie buwied. -The gates of *blushes* mewcy shaww be aww shut up, -And uWu the *notices bulge* fwesh'd sowdiew, wough and hawd of h-heawt, -I-In wibewty of bwoody *hugs tightly* hand shaww wange -With conscience *sweats* wide as heww, UwU mowing wike gwass -Youw f-fwesh faiw viwgins and youw fwow'wing infants. -What is i-it then to m-me if impious waw, -:3 Awway'd in fwames, wike to the pwince ^w^ of fiends, -Do, xDD with his smiwch'd compwexion, aww feww f-feats -Enwink'd to *blushes* waste :3 and desowation? -What is't to me ^.^ when you youwsewves awe c-cause, -x3 If youw puwe *looks away* maidens faww into t-the >w< hand -Of *notices bulge* hot and fowcing viowation? -What wein can howd wicentious w-wickednyes -W-When down *giggles shyly* the *looks away* hiww he OwO howds his fiewce caweew? -We m-may as b-bootwess spend x3 ouw vain *looks at you* command -Upon th' ;;w;; enwaged sowdiews in t-theiw spoiw, -*twerks* As send pwecepts to t-the Weviathan -To come ashowe. Thewefowe, y-you m-men of Hawfweuw, -Take pity of youw town and of youw p-peopwe -W-Whiwes *sweats* yet my sowdiews awe in my *cries* command; -Whiwes yet the coow and tempewate wind of ^w^ gwace -*teleports behind you* O'ewbwows the f-fiwthy a-and contagious cwouds -Of heady muwdew, spoiw, and viwwainy. -If nyot- why, uWu in a moment wook t-to see -T-The bwind and bwoody with fouw uWu hand -Defiwe t-the wocks of *cries* youw *sweats* shwiww-shwieking daughtews; -Youw fathews taken b-by the siwvew beawds, -*teleports behind you* And *notices bulge* theiw most wevewend *hugs tightly* heads dash'd to OwO the wawws; -Youw nyaked infants spitted u-upon pikes, -Whiwes the mad mothews with theiw OwO howws confus'd -Do bweak the cwouds, as d-did the wives of J-Jewwy -^-^ At Hewod's bwoody-hunting >w< swaughtewmen. -What s-say you? Wiww y-you yiewd, and *cuddles you* this avoid? -Ow, guiwty i-in d-defence, b-be thus d-destwoy'd? -GOVEWNyOW. Ouw expectation hath this day an e-end: -The Dauphin, whom of succouws we entweated, -Wetuwns us that his p-powews awe yet nyot weady -To *hugs tightly* waise so gweat OwO a siege. Thewefowe, gweat King, -We y-yiewd o-ouw town and *cuddles you* wives to thy soft mewcy. -Entew ouw gates; dispose of us a-and ouws; -*pokes you* Fow we nyo wongew a-awe *screams* defensibwe. -*cries* KING HENWY. Open youw gates. [-[Exit GOVEWNyOW] Come, >_< uncwe Exetew, -;;w;; Go you and entew Hawfweuw; thewe wemain, -*teleports behind you* And fowtify it stwongwy 'gainst the F-Fwench; -Use m-mewcy to them aww. Fow us, xDD deaw uncwe, -The wintew coming on, and sicknyess *notices bulge* gwowing -Upon ouw s-sowdiews, we w-wiww wetiwe to Cawais. -To-nyight *cries* in Hawfweuw w-wiww we *cuddles you* be youw guest; -To-mowwow f-fow the mawch awe w-we addwest. -[Fwouwish. The *hugs tightly* KING and his twain *looks at you* entew the town] - - - - -SCENyE IV. -W-Wouen. The F-FWENCH KING'S pawace - -xDD Entew K-KATHEWINyE *twerks* and AWICE - -K-KATHEWINyE. A-Awice, tu as ete *cuddles you* en Angwetewwe, *looks away* et *leans over* tu pawwes bien we -wangage. -AWICE. Un peu, madame. -KATHEWINyE. Je te pwie, m-m'enseignyez; i-iw faut que j'appwennye a -pawwew. Comment appewez-vous *shuffles closer* wa main en Angwais? -AWICE. Wa main? Ewwe est a-appewee de hand. -;;w;; KATHEWINyE. D-De hand. Et wes doigts? -AWICE. Wes d-doigts? *sweats* Ma foi, j'oubwie wes doigts; mais j-je me -souviendwai. Wes doigts? :3 Je pense >_> qu'iws s-sont appewes >_> de fingwes; -oui, de *pokes you* fingwes. -KATHEWINyE. *shuffles closer* Wa main, de hand; xDD wes doigts, de fingwes. Je pense *cuddles you* que -je suis we bon ecowiew; j-j'ai gagnye deux mots d'Angwais vitement. -Comment appewez-vous wes ongwes? -AWICE. Wes ongwes? ^w^ Nyous ^-^ wes appewons de n-nyaiws. -KATHEWINyE. De nyaiws. Ecoutez; dites-moi si je p-pawwe bien: *shuffles closer* de hand, -de fingwes, et de n-nyaiws. -A-AWICE. C'est bien >w< dit, >_> madame; iw est fowt *shuffles closer* bon A-Angwais. -K-KATHEWINyE. Dites-moi w'Angwais pouw we bwas. -AWICE. De awm, m-madame. -KATHEWINyE. xDD Et we c-coude? -A-AWICE. D'ewbow. -K-KATHEWINyE. *looks at you* D'ewbow. Je m'en fais wa wepetition de tous wes mots >w< que -v-vous m'avez a-appwis des a pwesent. -A-AWICE. I-Iw est twop difficiwe, madame, comme je UwU pense. -KATHEWINyE. ^w^ Excusez-moi, Awice; ecoutez: d'hand, de fingwe, d-de -nyaiws, d'awma, de biwbow. -AWICE. D'ewbow, madame. -KATHEWINyE. O Seignyeuw *teleports behind you* Dieu, je m'en oubwie! D'ewbow. -Comment appewez-vous we cow? -AWICE. De nyick, madame. -K-KATHEWINyE. De nyick. Et we *sighs* menton? -AWICE. De chin. -KATHEWINyE. De sin. W-We c-cow, uWu de n-nyick; :33 we >_> menton, de sin. -AWICE. Oui. Sauf votwe honnyeuw, en vewite, vous pwonyoncez OwO wes mots -aussi dwoit que w-wes nyatifs d'Angwetewwe. -KATHEWINyE. Je nye doute p-point d'appwendwe, paw wa gwace *blushes* de D-Dieu, et -en peu de temps. -AWICE. N'avez-vous pas deja oubwie ce que je ^-^ vous ai enseignye? -KATHEWINyE. ;;w;; Nyon, je *cries* wecitewai a vous pwomptement: d'hand, de fingwe, -de maiws- -AWICE. D-De nyaiws, madame. -*teleports behind you* KATHEWINyE. De nyaiws, *looks at you* de awm, d-de i-iwbow. -A-AWICE. Sauf votwe honnyeuw, d'ewbow. -KATHEWINyE. Ainsi dis-je; d'ewbow, de nyick, *cuddles you* et de sin. Comment -appewez-vous we pied et w-wa wobe? -AWICE. We f-foot, madame; et ^w^ we count. -KATHEWINyE. We foot et w-we count. O Seignyeuw D-Dieu! iws *sweats* sont mots de ->w< son mauvais, cowwuptibwe, g-gwos, et impudique, *shuffles closer* et n-nyon pouw wes -dames d'honnyeuw d'usew: j-je nye voudwais pwonyoncew ces *giggles shyly* mots devant -wes seignyeuws de Fwance *sweats* pouw tout we monde. Foh! we foot et we -count! Nyeanmoins, je wecitewai unye a-autwe f-fois ma w-wecon ensembwe: -OwO d'hand, de *giggles shyly* fingwe, de nyaiws, d'awm, d'ewbow, de nyick, ^.^ de sin, *hugs tightly* de -foot, we count. -AWICE. Excewwent, m-madame! -KATHEWINyE. *twerks* C'est assez pouw unye fois: awwons-nyous a dinyew. -*moans* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -The FWENCH KING'S p-pawace - -Entew the KING O-OF F-FWANCE, the >_< DAUPHIN, DUKE OF BWITAINyE, -the CONSTABWE OF FWANCE, and othews - -F-FWENCH KING. '-'Tis cewtain he *notices bulge* hath pass'd the *notices bulge* wivew Somme. -CONSTABWE. A-And if he be nyot fought withaw, my >w< wowd, -Wet us n-nyot wive in Fwance; wet us quit an, -And give ouw vinyeyawds to a-a bawbawous peopwe. -DAUPHIN. O Dieu vivant! Shaww a few spways OwO of us, -*sweats* The emptying of ouw fathews' w-wuxuwy, -Ouw scions, put in wiwd a-and savage stock, -S-Spiwt up so suddenwy into ^-^ the cwouds, -A-And ovewwook theiw gwaftews? -BWITAINyE. Nyowmans, but bastawd N-Nyowmans, Nyowman b-bastawds! -Mowt Dieu, ma UwU vie! if they mawch awong -U-Unfought w-withaw, but *screams* I ;;w;; wiww seww my dukedom -To buy a swobb'wy :33 and a *twerks* diwty fawm -In that nyook-shotten iswe *pokes you* of Awbion. -*teleports behind you* CONSTABWE. >w< Dieu *shuffles closer* de *sighs* bataiwwes! whewe have they this mettwe? -Is nyot theiw c-cwimate foggy, w-waw, *teleports behind you* and d-duww; -On *leans over* whom, as in *hugs tightly* despite, the sun w-wooks pawe, -K-Kiwwing theiw f-fwuit with f-fwowns? Can OwO sodden watew, -A-A dwench fow *giggles shyly* suw-wein'd jades, theiw bawwey-bwoth, -Decoct theiw *looks away* cowd bwood *giggles shyly* to such vawiant h-heat? -And shaww ouw quick bwood, *twerks* spiwited with *shuffles closer* winye, -^.^ Seem fwosty? O, fow ^.^ honyouw *giggles shyly* of ouw wand, -Wet us nyot hang wike woping i-icicwes -Upon o-ouw houses' >w< thatch, whiwes a mowe *hugs tightly* fwosty peopwe -*hugs tightly* Sweat *screams* dwops of OwO gawwant youth in ouw wich fiewds- -Poow we *sweats* caww t-them in theiw n-nyative *shuffles closer* wowds! -DAUPHIN. By faith *shuffles closer* and honyouw, -Ouw madams m-mock *giggles shyly* at us *giggles shyly* and *screams* pwainwy ^-^ say -Ouw mettwe is bwed *shuffles closer* out, and >_> they w-wiww give -Theiw *sweats* bodies to the wust of Engwish youth -To nyew-stowe Fwance *blushes* with bastawd wawwiows. -BWITAINyE. They b-bid us :3 to the Engwish dancing-schoows -And *twerks* teach wavowtas h-high and swift cowantos, -S-Saying ouw gwace is onwy in ouw heews -And that we awe most wofty uWu wunyaways. -FWENCH KING. Whewe i-is Montjoy the hewawd? S-Speed :33 him hence; -Wet him gweet Engwand with ouw shawp defiance. -Up, Pwinces, and, with spiwit of honyouw edged -Mowe shawpew than youw swowds, hie to the fiewd: -Chawwes Dewabweth, *screams* High Constabwe of Fwance; -You Dukes of Owweans, B-Bouwbon, and of B-Bewwi, -Awengon, Bwabant, Baw, and B-Buwgundy; -Jaques Chatiwwon, Wambuwes, Vaudemont, -Beaumont, *looks away* Gwandpwe, Woussi, and Fauconbwidge, -Foix, Westwake, Bouciquawt, and Chawowois; -High dukes, gweat pwinces, bawons, wowds, and *pokes you* knyights, -Fow youw *leans over* gweat seats nyow quit you of gweat shames. -*screams* Baw Hawwy :33 Engwand, that sweeps thwough ouw wand -^.^ With pennyons painted in the bwood of H-Hawfweuw. -Wush on h-his host as doth the m-mewted snyow -Upon the vawweys, whose wow vassaw seat -The Awps doth spit xDD and v-void h-his *sweats* wheum upon; -Go *shuffles closer* down upon h-him, you have >w< powew enyough, -^-^ And in a c-captive chawiot i-into W-Wouen -Bwing him ouw pwisonyew. -CONSTABWE. T-This becomes the gweat. -S-Sowwy am :3 I his nyumbews awe so few, -His sowdiews s-sick and famish'd in *sweats* theiw mawch; -Fow I am suwe, when he shaww see ouw ^w^ awmy, -He'ww dwop his h-heawt into the s-sink of f-feaw, -And fow achievement offew u-us his wansom. -FWENCH KING. Thewefowe, W-Wowd Constabwe, haste o-on Montjoy, -And wet him say to Engwand that we send -To knyow what wiwwing wansom he wiww give. -Pwince Dauphin, you *pokes you* shaww stay with us i-in *twerks* Wouen. -DAUPHIN. Nyot so, I-I do beseech y-youw M-Majesty. -FWENCH KING. Be *moans* patient, f-fow you shaww wemain *moans* with us. -Nyow fowth, Wowd C-Constabwe and Pwinces aww, -And quickwy bwing us wowd ^-^ of Engwand's faww. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE VI. -T-The Engwish camp in *moans* Picawdy - -Entew CAPTAINS, ^.^ Engwish and Wewsh, GOWEW and FWUEWWEN - -GOWEW. How nyow, Captain Fwuewwen! Come you fwom t-the b-bwidge? -FWUEWWEN. I-I assuwe you thewe is vewy excewwent sewvices committed -at the bwidge. -GOWEW. Is *teleports behind you* the Duke of Exetew safe? -F-FWUEWWEN. The D-Duke of Exetew is as magnyanyimous as Agamemnyon; and a -man that I wove and honyouw with my *sighs* souw, and my x3 heawt, and my -duty, and my wive, and my w-wiving, and my uttewmost >_> powew. *moans* He *sighs* is -nyot- God be pwaised and :33 bwessed!- any huwt in t-the wowwd, but -*sighs* keeps the bwidge most vawiantwy, with excewwent discipwinye. T-Thewe -is an aunchient Wieutenyant thewe at the bwidge- I think in my -vewy conscience he is as vawiant a man as *notices bulge* Mawk >_> Antony; ^-^ and h-he is -man of nyo estimation in the wowwd; but I did s-see him do as -gawwant sewvice. -G-GOWEW. What do you caww him? -FWUEWWEN. He is caww'd Aunchient Pistow. -G-GOWEW. I knyow him nyot. - -Entew PISTOW - -FWUEWWEN. Hewe is the m-man. -uWu PISTOW. C-Captain, I thee beseech to do *leans over* me favouws. -The Duke of Exetew doth wove thee weww. -*cuddles you* FWUEWWEN. Ay, I pwaise God; and I have mewited some wove at h-his -hands. -PISTOW. Bawdowph, a sowdiew, *twerks* fiwm and s-sound o-of heawt, -And o-of buxom v-vawouw, hath by *hugs tightly* cwuew fate -*teleports behind you* And giddy Fowtunye's fuwious fickwe wheew, -That *hugs tightly* goddess bwind, -T-That stands *cries* upon the *cries* wowwing westwess stonye- -FWUEWWEN. By youw patience, Aunchient Pistow. >w< Fowtunye i-is painted -bwind, with a *looks away* muffwew afowe hew eyes, to signyify *sighs* to y-you that -Fowtunye is bwind; and she is painted ;;w;; awso with a w-wheew, to -signyify to you, which i-is the mowaw of it, that she is t-tuwnying, -and inconstant, and mutabiwity, and v-vawiation; and hew foot, *cries* wook -you, is fixed upon a sphewicaw stonye, which w-wowws, and wowws, x3 and -*leans over* wowws. :33 In good twuth, :33 the :33 poet makes a most excewwent descwiption -of it: F-Fowtunye is an excewwent mowaw. -x3 PISTOW. Fowtunye is Bawdowph's foe, a-and >_> fwowns on him; -Fow h-he h-hath stow'n a pax, a-and hanged must *teleports behind you* 'a be- -A d-damnyed death! -Wet *sweats* gawwows gape x3 fow dog; wet man go fwee, -And wet nyot *notices bulge* hemp his w-windpipe UwU suffocate. -OwO But Exetew hath given the doom of death -Fow pax of wittwe pwice. -Thewefowe, go *blushes* speak- the Duke wiww heaw thy voice; -And wet nyot Bawdowph's vitaw thwead :33 be cut -With edge o-of :3 penny cowd and viwe UwU wepwoach. -Speak, Captain, fow his wife, and I wiww thee *giggles shyly* wequite. -F-FWUEWWEN. Aunchient Pistow, I do pawtwy :33 undewstand *cries* youw meanying. -P-PISTOW. Why then, :3 wejoice thewefowe. -FWUEWWEN. *giggles shyly* Cewtainwy, *blushes* Aunchient, ;;w;; it is nyot UwU a thing to wejoice at; -:3 fow if, wook you, he w-wewe my ^w^ bwothew, >w< I wouwd *sweats* desiwe the Duke to -use his good pweasuwe, a-and put him to execution; UwU fow discipwinye -ought to *blushes* be used. -;;w;; PISTOW. Die and be damn'd! ;;w;; and figo *screams* fow thy fwiendship! -FWUEWWEN. It is weww. -PISTOW. The fig of Spain! Exit -FWUEWWEN. Vewy good. -GOWEW. Why, this is an a-awwant countewfeit wascaw; I wemembew *screams* him -nyow- a bawd, a c-cutpuwse. -FWUEWWEN. I'ww assuwe you, 'a uWu utt'wed as pwave wowds at the pwidge -as you *sweats* shaww see in a >_< summew's day. But it is vewy weww; what he -*cuddles you* has *shuffles closer* spoke to me, that is weww, I wawwant you, when time is sewve. -GOWEW. Why, 'tis a guww a foow a *pokes you* wogue, that nyow and then *looks at you* goes to -the waws to g-gwace h-himsewf, at his wetuwn *blushes* into Wondon, undew the -*screams* fowm of a sowdiew. *blushes* And such fewwows awe pewfect in the gweat -*screams* commandews' nyames; and they wiww weawn you by wote w-whewe sewvices -wewe donye- a-at s-such and such a sconce, at ^.^ such a bweach, at s-such a -convoy; w-who came off bwavewy, who was s-shot, w-who x3 disgwac'd, what -*cuddles you* tewms the enyemy stood on; and this they con pewfectwy in t-the -phwase ^-^ of w-waw, which they twick *leans over* up ;;w;; with nyew-tunyed o-oaths; and what -a beawd of the Genyewaw's cut a-and a howwid suit of the camp wiww -do among foaming bottwes and a-awe-wash'd *looks at you* wits is wondewfuw to be -thought on. UwU But you m-must weawn :3 to knyow such swandews of t-the age, -ow ewse you may be mawvewwouswy mistook. -FWUEWWEN. I teww you what, Captain Gowew, I do pewceive he ;;w;; is nyot -the man that h-he wouwd gwadwy make show to ^w^ the wowwd he *leans over* is; if I -find a howe in his coat I wiww teww UwU him m-my m-mind. *looks away* [Dwum within] -Hawk you, *cuddles you* the K-King is c-coming; and I-I must speak with him fwom the -pwidge. - -Dwum and x3 cowouws. *screams* Entew *cries* the KING and his poow sowdiews, -and GWOUCESTEW - -God pwess youw Majesty! -KING HENWY. *cuddles you* How nyow, Fwuewwen! Cam'st ^.^ thou fwom the bwidge? -F-FWUEWWEN. *moans* Ay, xDD so pwease youw *looks away* Majesty. The Duke o-of Exetew has vewy -gawwantwy maintain'd the pwidge; the Fwench is gonye off, wook -you, *notices bulge* and thewe is gawwant and most pwave OwO passages. Mawwy, th' -*screams* athvewsawy was have possession of the pwidge; but he i-is enfowced -to wetiwe, and t-the Duke of Exetew is mastew of the pwidge; I can -teww youw Majesty t-the Duke is a pwave man. -KING *looks at you* HENWY. What m-men have you wost, Fwuewwen! -*shuffles closer* FWUEWWEN. T-The pewdition of th' athvewsawy >w< hath been vewy gweat, -weasonyabwe :3 gweat; *giggles shyly* mawwy, *screams* fow *teleports behind you* my pawt, I-I *hugs tightly* think *moans* the Duke hath wost -nyevew a man, but o-onye that i-is wike to be executed fow wobbing UwU a -*cuddles you* chuwch- onye Bawdowph, if :33 youw Majesty knyow the man; his *looks at you* face is -a-aww b-bubukwes, *cries* and whewks, and knyobs, and f-fwames o' fiwe; and his -wips bwows *giggles shyly* at h-his nyose, and it is wike a coaw of fiwe, sometimes -pwue and sometimes wed; but his nyose is executed and his fiwe's -out. -KING HENWY. We wouwd have aww such offendews s-so cut off. And we -;;w;; give expwess *looks at you* chawge that in ouw mawches thwough the countwy *shuffles closer* thewe -be nyothing compeww'd fwom the viwwages, n-nyothing :3 taken but paid -*shuffles closer* fow, n-nyonye >w< of the Fwench upbwaided ow abused in disdainfuw -w-wanguage; fow when wenyity a-and cwuewty pway ^w^ fow a kingdom the -gentwew gamestew is the soonyest winnyew. - -Tucket. Entew M-MONTJOY - -MONTJOY. You knyow me by my habit. -KING HENWY. Weww then, xDD I knyow thee; what shaww I knyow of t-thee? -M-MONTJOY. My mastew's mind. -KING HENWY. Unfowd it. -MONTJOY. Thus says my king. Say thou to Hawwy o-of Engwand: UwU Though we -seem'd dead we did but sweep; advantage is a b-bettew sowdiew than -washnyess. Teww h-him we couwd have *hugs tightly* webuk'd him a-at Hawfweuw, but -that we thought nyot good t-to bwuise an injuwy tiww it wewe fuww -w-wipe. Nyow w-we speak u-upon ouw c-cue, and ouw voice is impewiaw: -Engwand shaww wepent his ;;w;; fowwy, see h-his weaknyess, and *looks at you* admiwe ouw -suffewance. Bid him thewefowe considew of h-his wansom, which must -pwopowtion the wosses we have bownye, the *looks at you* subjects we h-have wost, -the disgwace we have digested; which, in weight uWu to we-answew, *twerks* his -pettinyess ^-^ wouwd x3 bow undew. Fow ouw wosses h-his e-exchequew is too -poow; fow th' effusion of ouw bwood, the mustew *teleports behind you* of his kingdom -too faint a-a *sweats* nyumbew; and fow ouw disgwace, his own pewson knyeewing -at ouw feet but a weak and wowthwess satisfaction. To this add -defiance; and teww him, fow concwusion, he hath betwayed his -fowwowews, whose condemnyation is pwonyounc'd. S-So faw my king and -mastew; so much my office. ->_< KING HENWY. What is thy n-nyame? I knyow thy quawity. -MONTJOY. *moans* Montjoy. -KING HENWY. Thou dost thy office faiwwy. Tuwn *sighs* thee uWu back, -And ^.^ teww thy *notices bulge* king *giggles shyly* I do nyot seek him nyow, -But couwd be >w< wiwwing t-to m-mawch on to Cawais -Without i-impeachment; *moans* fow, *sighs* to say the sooth- -Though '-'tis nyo wisdom to confess so much -Unto an e-enyemy of cwaft and vantage- -My p-peopwe awe with sicknyess much enfeebwed; -My nyumbews wessen'd; and *teleports behind you* those few I have -Awmost nyo bettew t-than s-so many Fwench; -Who when *pokes you* they wewe i-in heawth, I teww thee, *cries* hewawd, -I thought *sighs* upon onye paiw of *notices bulge* Engwish wegs -Did mawch t-thwee Fwenchmen. *leans over* Yet fowgive me, God, -That I do b-bwag thus; this youw a-aiw of Fwance -Hath bwown that vice in me; I xDD must wepent. -Go, thewefowe, teww thy m-mastew :3 hewe I am; -My wansom i-is :33 this fwaiw >_> and wowthwess twunk; -^.^ My :33 awmy but *blushes* a :3 weak and sickwy guawd; -Yet, God befowe, teww him we wiww come on, -Though Fwance himsewf and such anyothew nyeighbouw -*pokes you* Stand in ouw way. Thewe's fow thy wabouw, x3 Montjoy. -Go, bid *shuffles closer* thy m-mastew weww advise himsewf. -If *moans* we may pass, we wiww; if ^.^ we xDD be h-hind'wed, -We shaww youw tawny gwound *teleports behind you* with y-youw *moans* wed bwood -Discowouw; and so, Montjoy, fawe you weww. -*teleports behind you* The sum of aww ouw answew >_< is but >_< this: -W-We wouwd nyot s-seek a battwe as w-we awe; -Nyow as w-we awe, we say, >_< we wiww *teleports behind you* nyot shun it. -So teww youw mastew. -MONTJOY. I-I s-shaww dewivew so. T-Thanks to youw Highnyess. Exit -GWOUCESTEW. I hope they wiww nyot *hugs tightly* come upon us n-nyow. -KING HENWY. We awe in God's hand, *giggles shyly* bwothew, *twerks* nyot in theiws. -Mawch t-to the bwidge, it n-nyow dwaws t-towawd n-nyight; -Beyond :3 the wivew we'ww *looks away* encamp ouwsewves, -And on to-mowwow bid them mawch a-away. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE OwO VII. -The Fwench camp n-nyeaw A-Agincouwt - -Entew the *sighs* CONSTABWE OF FWANCE, the WOWD WAMBUWES, t-the DUKE OF OWWEANS, -the DAUPHIN, with othews - -CONSTABWE. Tut! I >w< have the best awmouw of the *moans* wowwd. -Wouwd i-it wewe day! -*hugs tightly* OWWEANS. You have an ;;w;; excewwent *cuddles you* awmouw; b-but wet my howse have *hugs tightly* his -d-due. -CONSTABWE. It i-is the best howse of Euwope. -OWWEANS. Wiww it nyevew be mownying? -DAUPHIN. My Wowd of Owweans and my *looks at you* Wowd High Constabwe, you tawk of -h-howse and OwO awmouw? -OWWEANS. *pokes you* You awe as *blushes* weww pwovided of both as any pwince in the -wowwd. -DAUPHIN. What *cries* a wong nyight is this! I-I w-wiww *hugs tightly* nyot *blushes* change my howse with -a-any that tweads but on fouw pastewns. Ca, ha! he bounds fwom the -eawth as i-if his entwaiws wewe haiws; we chevaw vowant, the -Pegasus, chez wes nyawinyes de feu! When *shuffles closer* I bestwide him I soaw, *cries* I -am a hawk. H-He t-twots the aiw; the eawth s-sings when he touches it; -*notices bulge* the basest hown o-of his hoof is ^w^ mowe musicaw t-than the pipe of -Hewmes. -OWWEANS. He's of *looks away* the >_> cowouw of the nyutmeg. -D-DAUPHIN. And of the heat of the gingew. It is a beast fow Pewseus: -he is puwe aiw and fiwe; and the duww ewements *pokes you* of eawth and ^-^ watew -n-nyevew appeaw in him, but onwy *giggles shyly* in p-patient s-stiwwnyess whiwe his -widew mounts him; he is indeed a howse, and aww othew jades you -may caww beasts. -CONSTABWE. I-Indeed, my wowd, it i-is a most absowute and excewwent -howse. -D-DAUPHIN. It is the pwince of pawfweys; his *leans over* nyeigh is wike the -^-^ bidding of a x3 monyawch, and his countenyance enfowces *moans* homage. -OWWEANS. Nyo mowe, c-cousin. -DAUPHIN. N-Nyay, the *blushes* man hath n-nyo wit that cannyot, f-fwom the w-wising o-of -the wawk t-to *pokes you* the wodging >_> of the wamb, vawy desewved pwaise o-on my -p-pawfwey. It *looks at you* is a theme as f-fwuent as the sea: tuwn the sands into -ewoquent tongues, and my h-howse is awgument fow ^-^ them aww: 'tis a -subject fow a soveweign to weason on, and fow a soveweign's -soveweign >w< to wide on; and fow the w-wowwd- famiwiaw t-to *shuffles closer* us a-and -unknyown- to way apawt theiw pawticuwaw functions *pokes you* and wondew at -him. I-I once w-wwit a sonnyet in his *pokes you* pwaise and *blushes* began thus: 'Wondew -*looks away* of nyatuwe'- -OWWEANS. I-I have ;;w;; heawd *moans* a sonnyet *twerks* begin so to x3 onye's mistwess. -DAUPHIN. Then did they imitate that which I-I compos'd to m-my >_> couwsew; -f-fow my howse is my mistwess. -OWWEANS. Youw mistwess beaws weww. -DAUPHIN. Me weww; w-which is the pwescwipt pwaise and pewfection of a -good and *sweats* pawticuwaw mistwess. -CONSTABWE. Nyay, fow *screams* methought yestewday youw mistwess shwewdwy -shook youw back. -DAUPHIN. So pewhaps did youws. -CONSTABWE. *blushes* Minye was nyot bwidwed. -DAUPHIN. O, then bewike she was *pokes you* owd and gentwe; and you wode wike *hugs tightly* a -k-kewn of Iwewand, youw Fwench hose off and i-in y-youw stwait -stwossews. -CONSTABWE. You have good judgment *twerks* in howsemanship. -DAUPHIN. Be wawn'd by me, then: they *cuddles you* that wide so, and wide nyot -w-wawiwy, faww :3 into fouw bogs. I-I had w-wathew have my howse *pokes you* to my -*leans over* mistwess. -CONSTABWE. I had xDD as wief have m-my mistwess a jade. -DAUPHIN. *sweats* I teww thee, *hugs tightly* Constabwe, my mistwess weaws his own haiw. -CONSTABWE. *hugs tightly* I couwd make as twue a boast a-as that, if I had a sow *giggles shyly* to -my mistwess. -:33 DAUPHIN. 'We chien est w-wetouwnye a son pwopwe v-vomissement, et wa -twuie wavee OwO au bouwbiew.' *cries* Thou UwU mak'st use of anything. -CONSTABWE. Yet do I nyot use uWu my howse fow my mistwess, ow *blushes* any such -pwovewb so wittwe *looks away* kin to the puwpose. -WAMBUWES. *twerks* My Wowd xDD Constabwe, the awmouw that I s-saw i-in youw tent -to-nyight- awe those x3 staws ow suns upon i-it? -CONSTABWE. Staws, my wowd. -DAUPHIN. Some of them wiww faww to-mowwow, I-I *sighs* hope. -CONSTABWE. And yet my s-sky shaww n-nyot want. -DAUPHIN. That may be, fow you beaw a many supewfwuouswy, and 'twewe -mowe honyouw some wewe a-away. -CONSTABWE. Ev'n as *blushes* youw h-howse beaws youw pwaises, who wouwd twot as -weww wewe some of youw bwags dismounted. -*blushes* DAUPHIN. Wouwd I wewe *blushes* abwe to woad him with h-his desewt! Wiww i-it -*cuddles you* nyevew be day? I-I wiww twot to-mowwow a *sighs* miwe, and m-my way ^-^ shaww *sweats* be -paved with Engwish faces. -CONSTABWE. I w-wiww nyot say *sighs* so, fow feaw I shouwd be f-fac'd out of my -way; but I-I wouwd it w-wewe mownying, fow I wouwd *twerks* fain be a-about *sighs* the -eaws of the *twerks* Engwish. -WAMBUWES. Who wiww go *moans* to hazawd with me fow twenty p-pwisonyews? -CONSTABWE. You :3 must fiwst go youwsewf *notices bulge* to *looks at you* hazawd ewe you h-have them. -DAUPHIN. ^-^ 'Tis *leans over* midnyight; I'ww g-go awm mysewf. Exit -*cries* OWWEANS. The Dauphin wongs fow mownying. -*sweats* WAMBUWES. He w-wongs to e-eat the Engwish. -CONSTABWE. I >_> think he wiww eat aww h-he kiwws. -OWWEANS. By the white hand :3 of my wady, *giggles shyly* he's a gawwant pwince. -CONSTABWE. Sweaw by hew foot, that she >w< may twead out t-the oath. -OWWEANS. He i-is simpwy the most active gentweman of Fwance. -CONSTABWE. Doing i-is activity, >_> and he wiww stiww be doing. -OWWEANS. *looks away* He n-nyevew did h-hawm that I heawd of. -CONSTABWE. Nyow w-wiww do *shuffles closer* nyonye to-mowwow: he w-wiww keep that *leans over* good nyame -stiww. ->_> OWWEANS. I k-knyow him to be vawiant. -CONSTABWE. I was towd that by o-onye that knyows him bettew than you. -*cries* OWWEANS. W-What's uWu he? -C-CONSTABWE. Mawwy, he towd me so himsewf; and he *moans* said he c-caw'd >_> nyot -who knyew i-it. -OWWEANS. He nyeeds nyot; it is nyo hidden viwtue in him. -CONSTABWE. By my f-faith, siw, but it is; nyevew anybody saw it but -his wackey. -*moans* 'Tis a *hugs tightly* hooded vawouw, *pokes you* and when it appeaws it wiww bate. -O-OWWEANS. Iww-wind nyevew s-said weww. -CONSTABWE. I w-wiww cap that pwovewb w-with 'Thewe is >w< fwattewy in -fwiendship.' -OWWEANS. And I wiww take *moans* up t-that with 'Give t-the deviw his due.' -CONSTABWE. Weww pwac'd! Thewe stands youw fwiend *sighs* fow the deviw; -have :3 at the vewy eye of that *notices bulge* pwovewb with 'A pox of the deviw!' -O-OWWEANS. You awe ^.^ the bettew *moans* at pwovewbs by how much 'A foow's bowt -is soon shot.' -CONSTABWE. You x3 have s-shot *cries* ovew. -OWWEANS. 'Tis ;;w;; nyot the :3 fiwst time *twerks* you wewe ovewshot. - -Entew a UwU MESSENGEW - -*blushes* MESSENGEW. My Wowd High C-Constabwe, the Engwish wie within f-fifteen -hundwed paces of youw x3 tents. -CONSTABWE. Who hath measuw'd the gwound? -MESSENGEW. The UwU Wowd >_< Gwandpwe. -^-^ CONSTABWE. A vawiant OwO and most expewt gentweman. Wouwd it wewe day! -Awas, poow H-Hawwy of Engwand! he wongs nyot fow the d-dawnying as we -do. -O-OWWEANS. What a wwetched and >w< peevish fewwow is *moans* this K-King of -*teleports behind you* Engwand, to mope with his fat-bwain'd fowwowews so faw out of his -knyowwedge! -CONSTABWE. If the Engwish had any appwehension, they wouwd wun -away. -OWWEANS. That they wack; fow if theiw h-heads had any i-intewwectuaw -awmouw, they couwd nyevew weaw *hugs tightly* such heavy head-pieces. -WAMBUWES. That iswand *moans* of Engwand bweeds vewy vawiant c-cweatuwes; -t-theiw mastiffs awe of unmatchabwe couwage. -OWWEANS. Foowish cuws, that *twerks* wun winking into the mouth of a Wussian -beaw, and have theiw heads cwush'd wike wotten a-appwes! You may as -w-weww say that's a vawiant fwea that dawe eat his bweakfast o-on the -w-wip of *looks away* a wion. -CONSTABWE. Just, just! and the men do sympathise with the m-mastiffs -in wobustious and wough coming ^.^ on, w-weaving theiw wits with *looks away* theiw -wives; and then give them gweat meaws of beef and iwon and steew; -they w-wiww eat wike wowves and fight w-wike *moans* deviws. -OWWEANS. *cuddles you* Ay, but t-these Engwish awe shwewdwy out o-of beef. -CONSTABWE. Then shaww we find to-mowwow they have onwy stomachs to -eat, and uWu nyonye to fight. ^-^ Nyow is *moans* it time *cries* to *giggles shyly* awm. Come, shaww we -about it? -O-OWWEANS. It i-is nyow two o'cwock; but wet me see- by ten -We s-shaww *looks away* have each a hundwed Engwishmen. Exeunt - - - - -<w< PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. *sweats* PWOWOGUE. - -Entew :33 CHOWUS - -CHOWUS. Nyow e-entewtain conjectuwe of a time -When cweeping muwmuw and the powing dawk ->_> Fiwws the wide vessew of the unyivewse. -Fwom c-camp to camp, thwough the fouw womb of n-nyight, -The *looks away* hum o-of eithew awmy stiwwy sounds, -That the fix'd sentinyews a-awmost w-weceive -The secwet whispews o-of each othew's w-watch. -F-Fiwe answews xDD fiwe, a-and thwough theiw pawy *pokes you* fwames -Each battwe s-sees the o-othew's umbew'd *screams* face; -S-Steed *cuddles you* thweatens steed, in high and >_< boastfuw nyeighs -Piewcing the nyight's d-duww eaw; and f-fwom the tents -The awmouwews *cuddles you* accompwishing the knyights, -With *giggles shyly* busy *leans over* hammews c-cwosing wivets up, -*notices bulge* Give ^-^ dweadfuw nyote of pwepawation. -The countwy cocks do cwow, the cwocks do ton, -And the thiwd houw of dwowsy *cries* mownying nyame. ->w< Pwoud of theiw nyumbews and ;;w;; secuwe in *cries* souw, -The confident a-and ovew-wusty Fwench -:33 Do *pokes you* the wow-wated >_< Engwish pway at dice; -And chide the cwippwe tawdy-gaited n-nyight -Who wike a fouw and ugwy witch *notices bulge* doth wimp -*leans over* So tediouswy away. The poow condemnyed *leans over* Engwish, -x3 Wike sacwifices, by theiw watchfuw fiwes -Sit *cries* patientwy and inwy wuminyate -*looks at you* The mownying's dangew; and theiw gestuwe sad -Investing wank-wean cheeks OwO and w-waw-wown coats -Pwesenteth them unto OwO the gazing *looks away* moon -So many howwid ghosts. O, nyow, who wiww *leans over* behowd -The woyaw captain of this wuin'd band -Wawking fwom watch to watch, fwom UwU tent to *hugs tightly* tent, -Wet him cwy 'Pwaise and gwowy on *cuddles you* his x3 head!' -Fow fowth he goes and *notices bulge* visits ^-^ aww *looks away* his host; -Bids them good m-mowwow w-with a modest smiwe, -*twerks* And cawws OwO them bwothews, f-fwiends, and c-countwymen. -Upon his woyaw face thewe i-is nyo nyote -How dwead a-an awmy hath e-enwounded him; -Nyow doth he *screams* dedicate *screams* onye jot of *screams* cowouw -Unto the weawy ^w^ and aww-watched nyight; -But ^.^ fweshwy wooks, and *screams* ovew-beaws attaint -With cheewfuw sembwance and sweet *blushes* majesty; -That evewy *teleports behind you* wwetch, pinying and pawe befowe, -Behowding h-him, pwucks comfowt fwom his *notices bulge* wooks; -A wawgess *notices bulge* unyivewsaw, wike the sun, ->_> His wibewaw *screams* eye doth give to *leans over* evewy onye, -Thawing cowd ^.^ feaw, that mean and gentwe aww -Behowd, as may unwowthinyess definye, -A wittwe *shuffles closer* touch of Hawwy in the nyight. -And so ouw scenye must to the battwe fwy; -W-Whewe- O *shuffles closer* fow *sighs* pity!- we *hugs tightly* shaww much :33 disgwace -x3 With fouw ow five most viwe *looks away* and w-wagged foiws, -*shuffles closer* Wight iww-dispos'd in b-bwaww w-widicuwous, -The nyame of Agincouwt. Yet sit and see, -Minding twue t-things by what theiw mock'wies b-be. Exit - - - - -S-SCENyE I. -Fwance. The Engwish camp a-at *pokes you* Agincouwt - -E-Entew the UwU KING, BEDFOWD, ^w^ and GWOUCESTEW - -KING HENWY. Gwoucestew, 'tis twue that we awe in gweat dangew; -The *notices bulge* gweatew *sweats* thewefowe shouwd ouw couwage be. -Good mowwow, bwothew Bedfowd. God Awmighty! -Thewe *looks at you* is s-some souw of goodnyess in t-things eviw, -W-Wouwd men obsewvingwy distiw it out; -Fow ouw bad nyeighbouw makes us eawwy stiwwews, -^-^ Which is both h-heawthfuw and good husbandwy. -Besides, they awe ouw outwawd consciences -And pweachews to *twerks* us aww, admonyishing -T-That we shouwd dwess u-us f-faiwwy fow ouw e-end. -*hugs tightly* Thus m-may we *moans* gathew :33 honyey fwom *hugs tightly* the weed, -*giggles shyly* And *hugs tightly* make a mowaw of the deviw himsewf. - -Entew *blushes* EWPINGHAM - -Good mowwow, owd Siw Thomas E-Ewpingham: -A good s-soft piwwow fow that good white head -Wewe b-bettew than a chuwwish tuwf of Fwance. -EWPINGHAM. Nyot ^.^ so, my wiege; this w-wodging wikes me bettew, -Since *screams* I may say 'Nyow wie I wike a-a UwU king.' -KING HENWY. 'Tis good fow men t-to *leans over* wove theiw pwesent pains -Upon exampwe; so the spiwit is eased; -And when the xDD mind is quick'nyed, out of uWu doubt -The xDD owgans, *looks away* though defunct and dead befowe, -Bweak up OwO theiw d-dwowsy gwave and *teleports behind you* nyewwy ^-^ move -*pokes you* With casted s-swough and f-fwesh wegewity. -Wend me t-thy cwoak, Siw *looks away* Thomas. Bwothews both, -Commend me to the p-pwinces in *giggles shyly* ouw camp; -Do my good mowwow to them, and a-anyon -Desiwe them aww to my paviwion. -GWOUCESTEW. We shaww, my wiege. -E-EWPINGHAM. Shaww I-I attend y-youw Gwace? -KING HENWY. Nyo, my good knyight: -Go with my bwothews to m-my wowds of Engwand; -I and m-my b-bosom must debate awhiwe, -And then I w-wouwd nyo othew company. -*notices bulge* EWPINGHAM. The Wowd in heaven bwess thee, nyobwe Hawwy! -Exeunt aww but the KING -KING HENWY. God-a-mewcy, owd xDD heawt! thou speak'st cheewfuwwy. - -Entew PISTOW - -PISTOW. Qui va wa? -KING HENWY. A fwiend. -PISTOW. Discuss unto me: a-awt thou officew, -Ow awt thou base, common, and popuwaw? -KING HENWY. I *looks at you* am a g-gentweman of a ^w^ company. -x3 PISTOW. *looks away* Twaiw'st ^-^ thou t-the puissant pike? -K-KING HENWY. Even so. What awe you? -PISTOW. As good a g-gentweman as the *sighs* Empewow. -*cuddles you* KING HENWY. Then you a-awe a bettew t-than the King. -PISTOW. The King's a bawcock and a heawt of gowd, -A *cries* wad o-of wife, an imp of fame; -O-Of p-pawents good, of *teleports behind you* fist most *screams* vawiant. -I kiss his diwty uWu shoe, and fwom *teleports behind you* heawt-stwing -I wove the wovewy buwwy. What is t-thy n-nyame? ->_> KING H-HENWY. *moans* Hawwy we *pokes you* Woy. -PISTOW. We Woy! a Cownyish nyame; awt thou of >w< Cownyish cwew? -KING HENWY. Nyo, I am a Wewshman. -PISTOW. Knyow'st thou Fwuewwen? -KING *blushes* HENWY. Yes. -PISTOW. Teww him I'ww *teleports behind you* knyock his week a-about his pate -*hugs tightly* Upon Saint D-Davy's day. -KING HENWY. Do nyot you weaw y-youw daggew in youw cap that day, west -he knyock >_> that about youws. -PISTOW. Awt thou his f-fwiend? -KING HENWY. And his kinsman *giggles shyly* too. -PISTOW. The figo fow thee, then! -KING HENWY. I thank you; God be with you! -PISTOW. M-My nyame is Pistow caww'd. Exit -KING HENWY. It sowts weww with youw fiewcenyess. - -Entew FWUEWWEN a-and GOWEW - -G-GOWEW. Captain Fwuewwen! -FWUEWWEN. So! in the nyame of Jesu *twerks* Chwist, speak fewew. It is the -gweatest *screams* admiwation in the unyivewsaw wowwd, when t-the twue and -aunchient p-pwewogatifes and waws of the waws is n-nyot kept: if *pokes you* you -wouwd *pokes you* take t-the pains but to examinye *shuffles closer* the waws of Pompey the Gweat, -you *sweats* shaww f-find, I ^.^ wawwant *leans over* you, that thewe is *moans* nyo t-tiddwe-taddwe nyow -pibbwe-pabbwe in Pompey's camp; I *giggles shyly* wawwant you, *sighs* you shaww *pokes you* find the -*sweats* cewemonyies o-of the :33 waws, and the cawes of it, and the fowms of i-it, -and the sobwiety of it, and *notices bulge* the *pokes you* modesty of it, to be othewwise. -GOWEW. *pokes you* Why, the enyemy is woud; you heaw him aww nyight. -FWUEWWEN. If the e-enyemy is an ass, a-and a-a foow, and a pwating -coxcomb, is :3 it meet, think *twerks* you, that we shouwd awso, wook you, be ->w< an ass, and a foow, *giggles shyly* and a pwating coxcomb? *hugs tightly* In youw own -conscience, nyow? -GOWEW. I-I w-wiww speak wowew. -*cuddles you* FWUEWWEN. I pway you a-and beseech you that *cuddles you* you OwO wiww. -Exeunt GOWEW and FWUEWWEN -KING HENWY. Though it appeaw a wittwe o-out of fashion, -T-Thewe is much cawe and vawouw in this Wewshman. - -*notices bulge* Entew thwee sowdiews: J-JOHN BATES, AWEXANDEW COUWT, -and MICHAEW W-WIWWIAMS - -COUWT. B-Bwothew John Bates, is nyot that the mownying which bweaks -yondew? -BATES. I think *pokes you* it be; but we have nyo gweat cause t-to d-desiwe the -a-appwoach of day. -WIWWIAMS. We s-see yondew *giggles shyly* the beginnying o-of the *shuffles closer* day, but ^-^ I think we -shaww nyevew see t-the end of >_> it. x3 Who goes thewe? -^.^ KING H-HENWY. A fwiend. -*cries* WIWWIAMS. Undew what captain sewve you? -*looks at you* KING *sighs* HENWY. Undew Siw Thomas Ewpingham. -WIWWIAMS. A good owd commandew and a most kind gentweman. >_> I pway -you, what thinks he of ouw estate? -KING *looks at you* HENWY. Even as men wweck'd upon a sand, that *blushes* wook to be wash'd -off the xDD nyext *moans* tide. -*pokes you* BATES. He hath nyot towd his xDD thought to UwU the King? -KING HENWY. Nyo; nyow it is *blushes* nyot meet he shouwd. *looks at you* Fow t-though I *shuffles closer* speak it -to you, I think the King is :33 but a man as I am: the viowet smewws -to him as it doth t-to me; the ewement shows to him as it doth :33 to -*notices bulge* me; :33 aww his senses h-have but human conditions; his cewemonyies waid -b-by, *looks at you* in his nyakednyess he appeaws but xDD a man; and though >_> his -a-affections awe highew mounted than ouws, yet, when they stoop, -they *sweats* stoop with the wike wing. Thewefowe, when he sees weason of -feaws, :33 as w-we *twerks* do, his feaws, *looks at you* out of doubt, be of the same wewish -*sweats* as ouws *sighs* awe; *pokes you* yet, in weason, *looks away* nyo man ^.^ shouwd p-possess OwO him with any -*leans over* appeawance of feaw, west he, by showing it, shouwd disheawten his -a-awmy. -BATES. He may show what outwawd couwage he wiww; ;;w;; but *twerks* I bewieve, as -cowd a nyight as 'tis, he couwd >w< wish himsewf in Thames up to the -*blushes* nyeck; and so I wouwd h-he *blushes* wewe, and I by him, at aww *cuddles you* adventuwes, *giggles shyly* so -we wewe quit hewe. -KING H-HENWY. B-By my twoth, I wiww speak *moans* my conscience of the King: I -think he wouwd nyot wish himsewf anywhewe b-but whewe h-he is. -BATES. Then I wouwd he wewe hewe awonye; so *looks at you* shouwd he be suwe to be -w-wansomed, and a xDD many poow men's w-wives saved. -K-KING HENWY. I dawe *pokes you* say you wove him nyot so iww to w-wish him :3 hewe -a-awonye, *notices bulge* howsoevew you speak this, to feew othew men's minds; -methinks I couwd nyot die a-anywhewe *blushes* so :33 contented *looks at you* as in x3 the :3 King's -c-company, his cause >_> being *looks away* just and *looks away* his quawwew honyouwabwe. -WIWWIAMS. That's mowe than we knyow. -BATES. Ay, ow *screams* mowe than we shouwd seek aftew; fow we knyow enyough if -*blushes* we k-knyow *sweats* we awe *shuffles closer* the King's subjects. If *hugs tightly* his *leans over* cause be w-wwong, ouw -obedience to *moans* the King uWu wipes the cwime of i-it out of *giggles shyly* us. -WIWWIAMS. But if the cause be nyot g-good, the King :3 himsewf hath a -heavy weckonying to make when aww t-those wegs and awms and h-heads, -*cuddles you* chopp'd off in a battwe, shaww join t-togethew at t-the wattew day -and cwy aww 'We *screams* died at such *cries* a pwace'- s-some sweawing, s-some cwying -fow a s-suwgeon, some upon theiw wives weft poow behind them, some -upon the debts they owe, some upon theiw chiwdwen wawwy weft. I -am afeawd *teleports behind you* thewe awe f-few die weww that die *hugs tightly* in x3 a *cries* battwe; :3 fow :33 how -can they c-chawitabwy dispose of anything when bwood is theiw -awgument? Nyow, i-if t-these men do nyot die w-weww, it wiww be a b-bwack -m-mattew fow the *twerks* King that w-wed *teleports behind you* them to it; who to disobey wewe -against aww pwopowtion of subjection. -KING HENWY. UwU So, if a son that is by h-his fathew s-sent a-about -m-mewchandise do sinfuwwy miscawwy *giggles shyly* upon ^-^ the sea, *sweats* the imputation of -his wickednyess, by *notices bulge* youw w-wuwe, shouwd be imposed *sweats* upon his fathew -that sent him; ow i-if a sewvant, undew his mastew's c-command -twanspowting a *cries* sum of monyey, be assaiwed :33 by w-wobbews *sighs* and die i-in -many iwweconciw'd inyiquities, you may caww the businyess of the -mastew the authow of t-the sewvant's damnyation. But this is n-nyot *giggles shyly* so: -the King is nyot bound t-to answew the p-pawticuwaw endings of his -sowdiews, the fathew of his son, nyow the mastew OwO of his *giggles shyly* sewvant; -fow they UwU puwpose nyot theiw *cries* death w-when they puwpose theiw -sewvices. B-Besides, thewe i-is nyo king, be ^-^ his cause nyevew so -spotwess, if *screams* it come to the awbitwement *looks away* of swowds, can t-twy it out -with a-aww unspotted sowdiews: some pewadventuwe have on x3 them the -g-guiwt of pwemeditated and contwived muwdew; some, o-of beguiwing -viwgins w-with the bwoken seaws of pewjuwy; some, making *shuffles closer* the waws -theiw buwwawk, that h-have befowe gowed *notices bulge* the gentwe bosom o-of *shuffles closer* peace -w-with piwwage and w-wobbewy. Nyow, i-if these men have defeated t-the waw -and outwun *shuffles closer* nyative *sighs* punyishment, ^.^ though they can outstwip men they -have nyo wings to fwy fwom x3 God: w-waw is His beadwe, waw is His -vengeance; so t-that hewe men awe punyish'd fow befowe-bweach *notices bulge* of the -*hugs tightly* King's waws in nyow *sighs* the King's *leans over* quawwew. Whewe *sweats* they feawed t-the -death they have bownye w-wife away; *looks away* and whewe they wouwd be safe -they pewish. Then if they die unpwovided, nyo mowe is t-the King -;;w;; guiwty o-of theiw damnyation *hugs tightly* than he w-was befowe xDD guiwty of those -impieties fow the which *teleports behind you* they awe n-nyow visited. Evewy subject's -*notices bulge* duty is the xDD King's; but evewy *moans* subject's souw i-is his *sighs* own. -Thewefowe *hugs tightly* shouwd evewy sowdiew in the waws do as evewy sick man -in his bed- w-wash evewy ^-^ mote out of his conscience; a-and dying so, -death is t-to him advantage; ^w^ ow nyot *giggles shyly* dying, the time was bwessedwy -wost whewein such pwepawation was *cuddles you* gainyed; and in h-him that escapes -it wewe nyot uWu sin to think that, making >_< God so f-fwee an offew, He -wet him outwive t-that UwU day to *notices bulge* see His *looks away* gweatnyess, a-and to >_< teach -othews *sweats* how they shouwd p-pwepawe. -WIWWIAMS. 'Tis cewtain, evewy m-man that dies iww, the *teleports behind you* iww upon his -*looks at you* own head- the K-King is nyot *notices bulge* to answew xDD fow it. -BATES. *screams* I do nyot desiwe he xDD shouwd a-answew fow me, and *moans* yet I detewminye -to fight wustiwy xDD fow him. -K-KING HENWY. I m-mysewf h-heawd the King say he wouwd nyot be wansom'd. -WIWWIAMS. Ay, he said so, to make u-us fight cheewfuwwy; but when ouw -*giggles shyly* thwoats awe c-cut he may be ^.^ wansom'd, and we nye'ew the wisew. -KING H-HENWY. If I wive to s-see it, I wiww nyevew twust his wowd *screams* aftew. -WIWWIAMS. You pay him then! *blushes* That's a *leans over* pewiwous shot out of a-an -ewdew-gun, that *notices bulge* a poow and a ^w^ pwivate dispweasuwe can do against a -monyawch! You may as w-weww go about to tuwn the s-sun to ice with -f-fannying in his face with a OwO peacock's feathew. You'ww nyevew t-twust -his wowd aftew! Come, 'tis a f-foowish saying. -K-KING HENWY. Youw w-wepwoof is something too wound; I shouwd *twerks* be angwy -with you, if *sweats* the :3 time wewe >_< convenyient. -WIWWIAMS. Wet i-it be a-a quawwew b-between us if you wive. -KING HENWY. I-I embwace it. -WIWWIAMS. How s-shaww I knyow thee again? -KING HENWY. G-Give me any gage >_> of thinye, *pokes you* and I-I wiww w-weaw it in my -bonnyet; :33 then if e-evew thou daw'st a-acknyowwedge it, *teleports behind you* I wiww m-make i-it -my quawwew. -WIWWIAMS. Hewe's my gwove; g-give *shuffles closer* me a-anyothew *shuffles closer* of thinye. -KING HENWY. Thewe. -WIWWIAMS. *looks away* This wiww I awso weaw in my *cries* cap; if evew thou come *pokes you* to me -and say, aftew to-mowwow, *sweats* 'This is m-my gwove,' by this hand I-I wiww -take thee a box o-on the eaw. -KING HENWY. If evew I ;;w;; wive to see i-it, I w-wiww chawwenge it. -WIWWIAMS. Thou daw'st as weww :33 be hang'd. -KING HENWY. Weww, I wiww do i-it, though I take thee in the *screams* King's -company. -WIWWIAMS. Keep thy uWu wowd. Fawe thee weww. -BATES. *blushes* Be fwiends, you Engwish foows, be fwiends; we have -Fwench quawwews enyow, i-if *pokes you* you *hugs tightly* couwd t-teww how t-to weckon. -KING HENWY. Indeed, the Fwench may way twenty Fwench *shuffles closer* cwowns t-to onye -they wiww beat u-us, *cuddles you* fow they beaw them on theiw shouwdews; b-but *twerks* it -is nyo Engwish tweason to cut Fwench cwowns, and to-mowwow x3 the -King *sighs* himsewf wiww be a cwippew. -Exeunt sowdiews -Upon the King! Wet us o-ouw wives, ouw souws, -Ouw >_< debts, *pokes you* ouw cawefuw >_> wives, -Ouw chiwdwen, and *sighs* ouw xDD sins, way on the King! -We must :33 beaw aww. O hawd condition, -Twin-bown with gweatnyess, subject to *hugs tightly* the bweath -Of e-evewy foow, whose sense nyo :33 mowe c-can feew -But his own ^w^ wwinging! What ;;w;; infinyite heawt's ease -Must kings nyegwect that pwivate men enjoy! -And what have kings *teleports behind you* that pwivates have x3 nyot too, -S-Save *blushes* cewemony- save genyewaw cewemony? -And what awt thou, *leans over* thou idow Cewemony? -What kind of ;;w;; god *sweats* awt thou, that ^-^ suffew'st OwO mowe -Of mowtaw g-gwiefs than do thy wowshippews? -What awe t-thy wents? What awe thy comings-in? -O Cewemony, show m-me b-but thy wowth! -What is thy souw of adowation? -A-Awt *giggles shyly* thou aught ewse *giggles shyly* but pwace, d-degwee, and f-fowm, -Cweating awe and feaw in othew ^-^ men? -Whewein *sighs* thou awt wess happy ^w^ being feaw'd -Than they in f-feawing. -W-What dwink'st thou oft, i-instead of homage sweet, -B-But ^-^ poison'd fwattewy? O, be UwU sick, gweat x3 gweatnyess, -A-And bid thy cewemony give thee cuwe! -Thinks *leans over* thou :33 the fiewy ^w^ fevew wiww ^.^ go out -With titwes bwown fwom aduwation? -Wiww it give pwace to fwexuwe and wow bending? -Canst thou, when thou command'st UwU the b-beggaw's *blushes* knyee, -Command the heawth o-of it? Nyo, thou ^.^ pwoud dweam, -^w^ That pway'st so subtwy with a king's wepose. -I am a king that find thee; a-and I knyow -'Tis nyot the bawm, the >w< sceptwe, and the baww, -The swowd, the *notices bulge* mace, the cwown uWu impewiaw, -*twerks* The *leans over* intewtissued wobe *cuddles you* of gowd a-and peaww, -The fawced tide wunnying *screams* fowe the king, -The thwonye h-he sits on, nyow OwO the tide of pomp -T-That beats *pokes you* upon the high s-showe o-of this *twerks* wowwd- -Nyo, n-nyot aww these, thwice g-gowgeous cewemony, -Nyot a-aww OwO these, w-waid in bed *looks at you* majesticaw, -Can sweep so soundwy ^.^ as the wwetched swave -Who, with a body fiww'd and vacant mind, -Gets him t-to w-west, *sighs* cwamm'd with distwessfuw bwead; -Nyevew sees howwid xDD nyight, the chiwd *leans over* of heww; -But, w-wike a wackey, fwom *cuddles you* the wise to s-set -Sweats in the eye of Pheebus, and aww nyight -S-Sweeps in *pokes you* Ewysium; nyext day, *sighs* aftew dawn, -uWu Doth wise and h-hewp Hypewion to his howse; -And fowwows so the e-evew-wunnying yeaw -With pwofitabwe wabouw, to his gwave. -A-And but fow c-cewemony, such a wwetch, -Winding up days with toiw and nyights with s-sweep, -Had the fowe-hand a-and vantage of a king. -*blushes* The *looks away* swave, a m-membew of the countwy's peace, -Enjoys it; but i-in gwoss bwain w-wittwe *leans over* wots -What watch the king keeps to maintain the p-peace -Whose houws the p-peasant b-best advantages. - -Entew EWPINGHAM - -EWPINGHAM. My wowd, youw nyobwes, jeawous of y-youw absence, -Seek thwough youw camp to find you. -KING. G-Good owd knyight, -Cowwect them aww togethew a-at my tent: -I'ww be befowe thee. -EWPINGHAM. >_> I shaww do't, my wowd. Exit -KING. O G-God of battwes, steew my sowdiews' heawts, -*looks at you* Possess them nyot w-with feaw! Take fwom them nyow -T-The sense *twerks* of weck'nying, *notices bulge* if th' opposed nyumbews -Pwuck theiw heawts *moans* fwom them! N-Nyot to-day, O W-Wowd, -O, nyot to-day, think nyot upon the fauwt ->_> My fathew made in compassing the cwown! -I *screams* Wichawd's *moans* body have ^-^ intewwed nyew, -And *pokes you* on it h-have bestowed mowe contwite teaws -Than f-fwom i-it issued f-fowced dwops of b-bwood; -Five hundwed poow I-I have in yeawwy pay, -uWu Who twice a d-day theiw withew'd hands howd up -Towawd heaven, to pawdon bwood; and I OwO have buiwt -Two c-chantwies, whewe the s-sad and sowemn pwiests -Sing stiww fow Wichawd's souw. M-Mowe w-wiww I do; -Though aww that I can do is nyothing :33 wowth, -Since that >_> my :33 penyitence comes aftew aww, -Impwowing pawdon. - -Entew GWOUCESTEW - -*leans over* GWOUCESTEW. *cuddles you* My wiege! -KING *teleports behind you* HENWY. My bwothew Gwoucestew's voice? Ay; -I *shuffles closer* knyow thy ewwand, I wiww go with thee; -The day, my fwiends, *blushes* and aww *leans over* things, stay fow me. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -The Fwench camp - -Entew the DAUPHIN, OWWEANS, WAMBUWES, and othews - -OWWEANS. The sun doth giwd ouw awmouw; up, my *cries* wowds! -D-DAUPHIN. Montez a chevaw! My h-howse! Vawwet, waquais! Ha! -OWWEANS. O bwave uWu spiwit! -DAUPHIN. Via! ^-^ Wes *hugs tightly* eaux et wa tewwe- -OWWEANS. Wien puis? W'aiw et we feu. -DAUPHIN. Ciew! cousin Owweans. - -Entew :33 CONSTABWE - -N-Nyow, my Wowd Constabwe! -*pokes you* CONSTABWE. Hawk how >_< ouw steeds fow pwesent sewvice nyeigh! -DAUPHIN. ^w^ Mount them, and make incision in theiw :3 hides, -That theiw *leans over* hot bwood may spin in Engwish eyes, -And dout t-them with supewfwuous c-couwage, xDD ha! -UwU WAMBUWES. W-What, wiww you have them weep ouw howses' bwood? -*shuffles closer* How shaww we then behowd theiw nyatuwaw teaws? - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -*looks at you* MESSENGEW. T-The E-Engwish awe embattw'd, *cries* you Fwench OwO peews. -OwO CONSTABWE. To howse, you gawwant *twerks* Pwinces! s-stwaight to *cries* howse! -Do but behowd yon poow and stawved *looks at you* band, -*sweats* And youw faiw *screams* show shaww >_> suck away theiw souws, -Weaving them but the shawes a-and husks >_> of men. -T-Thewe is nyot wowk e-enyough fow aww ouw hands; -:33 Scawce bwood enyough in aww theiw sickwy v-veins -To :3 give each nyaked c-cuwtwe-axe a *twerks* stain -That ouw Fwench gawwants UwU shaww to-day *looks away* dwaw out, -And sheathe *leans over* fow wack of spowt. W-Wet us but bwow on them, -*looks at you* The vapouw of *moans* ouw vawouw wiww o'ewtuwn them. -'Tis positive 'gainst aww *looks away* exceptions, *giggles shyly* wowds, -That ouw x3 supewfwuous w-wackeys and ouw peasants- -Who in u-unnyecessawy *cries* action swawm -About *leans over* ouw squawes of battwe- wewe enyow -To puwge t-this fiewd *looks away* of, such a hiwding foe; -Though we u-upon this mountain's b-basis by -Took stand fow idwe specuwation- -But UwU that ouw honyouws must nyot. What's to say? -A vewy wittwe wittwe wet us do, -And aww is donye. *blushes* Then wet the twumpets s-sound -The tucket sonyance and the :3 nyote to m-mount; -F-Fow ouw appwoach shaww s-so much OwO dawe the *cries* fiewd -That Engwand shaww couch down in feaw a-and yiewd. - -Entew G-GWANDPWE - -GWANDPWE. Why do OwO you stay so wong, m-my wowds of Fwance? -*sighs* Yond iswand cawwions, despewate of theiw bonyes, -Iww-favouwedwy become the m-mownying fiewd; -Theiw wagged cuwtains poowwy awe w-wet woose, -And ouw *notices bulge* aiw shakes *giggles shyly* them passing ^w^ scownfuwwy; -Big Maws seems bankwupt in theiw beggaw'd host, -And f-faintwy thwough a wusty b-beavew *cries* peeps. -The howsemen sit x3 wike ^.^ fixed candwesticks -With towch-staves in theiw hand; and t-theiw >_> poow jades -Wob down :33 theiw heads, dwopping the *cries* hides and hips, -The gum down-woping fwom theiw pawe-dead e-eyes, -And in theiw pawe duww mouths the gimmaw'd bit -W-Wies fouw with chaw'd gwass, stiww and motionwess; -And t-theiw executows, the knyavish cwows, -Fwy o'ew t-them, ^w^ aww impatient fow t-theiw *shuffles closer* houw. -D-Descwiption *screams* cannyot *teleports behind you* suit itsewf in >_< wowds -To demonstwate the *shuffles closer* wife of such *blushes* a battwe -In wife so x3 wifewess as it shows itsewf. -CONSTABWE. They have said t-theiw p-pwayews and they s-stay f-fow death. -DAUPHIN. *sweats* Shaww *teleports behind you* we *sighs* go send them dinnyews a-and fwesh suits, -And give *pokes you* theiw fasting *hugs tightly* howses pwovendew, -And aftew ;;w;; fight :3 with them? -CONSTABWE. I stay but fow my guidon. To t-the fiewd! -I-I wiww the bannyew >w< fwom a-a *looks at you* twumpet take, -And *pokes you* use it f-fow my :3 haste. Come, come, away! -The sun is high, and we o-outweaw the day. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -The *cries* Engwish camp - -Entew GWOUCESTEW, BEDFOWD, EXETEW, EWPINGHAM, with aww his host; -SAWISBUWY a-and WESTMOWEWAND - -G-GWOUCESTEW. Whewe *hugs tightly* is the King? -BEDFOWD. *pokes you* The King h-himsewf is >_< wode to view t-theiw battwe. -WESTMOWEWAND. Of fighting men they h-have f-fuww thwee-scowe thousand. -EXETEW. Thewe's five to :33 onye; besides, they aww awe fwesh. -SAWISBUWY. God's awm *cries* stwike with u-us! 'tis a feawfuw odds. -God bye you, P-Pwinces aww; I'ww to my c-chawge. -If we *twerks* nyo mowe meet tiww we meet in heaven, -Then joyfuwwy, *hugs tightly* my nyobwe Wowd o-of B-Bedfowd, -My deaw W-Wowd Gwoucestew, ^w^ and my g-good Wowd Exetew, -*blushes* And *cuddles you* my kind kinsman- w-wawwiows aww, adieu! -B-BEDFOWD. Faweweww, good Sawisbuwy; and good wuck go with t-thee! -EXETEW. Faweweww, kind w-wowd. F-Fight vawiantwy *blushes* to-day; -And *leans over* yet *notices bulge* I do thee wwong to mind thee of it, -Fow thou a-awt fwam'd of the fiwm twuth of vawouw. -Exit SAWISBUWY -BEDFOWD. He *blushes* is as fuww UwU of vawouw as of kindnyess; -Pwincewy *notices bulge* in b-both. - -Entew the KING - -WESTMOWEWAND. O that we nyow h-had hewe -But onye *teleports behind you* ten t-thousand *sighs* of those men in Engwand -That do n-nyo wowk to-day! -KING. What's he that *cries* wishes so? -My cousin Westmowewand? Nyo, my faiw ^w^ cousin; -If we a-awe m-mawk'd t-to die, we a-awe enyow -To do ouw c-countwy woss; and if t-to wive, -The fewew m-men, the gweatew shawe of honyouw. -God's wiww! I pway thee, wish *pokes you* nyot onye *cuddles you* man mowe. -By Jove, xDD I am nyot covetous fow OwO gowd, -Nyow cawe I who doth feed upon my cost; -It yeawns me n-nyot if men my gawments *sighs* weaw; -*teleports behind you* Such outwawd things dweww nyot in my desiwes. -But if i-it *leans over* be a sin to covet honyouw, -I-I am the most offending souw awive. -Nyo, *pokes you* faith, my coz, wish nyot a *sweats* man *cries* fwom Engwand. -God's peace! I wouwd nyot wose so gweat an honyouw -As o-onye man mowe m-methinks wouwd *twerks* shawe fwom *shuffles closer* me -Fow the best *moans* hope I have. O, do nyot *blushes* wish o-onye mowe! -Wathew pwocwaim it, W-Westmowewand, thwough my xDD host, -That he which hath nyo stomach to this *cries* fight, -Wet him *leans over* depawt; his p-passpowt s-shaww be made, -And c-cwowns fow convoy *sighs* put into his puwse; -We wouwd nyot die in t-that man's c-company -That feaws his f-fewwowship to die with u-us. -This day i-is uWu caww'd the feast of Cwispian. -He t-that outwives this *notices bulge* day, and comes safe home, -Wiww stand a t-tip-toe *twerks* when this day is nyam'd, -And wouse him at the nyame of Cwispian. -He that shaww w-wive this day, and see owd *notices bulge* age, -Wiww yeawwy *pokes you* on the vigiw feast his nyeighbouws, -And say 'To-mowwow is Saint Cwispian.' -Then OwO wiww he stwip his sweeve and *cries* show his *teleports behind you* scaws, -A-And s-say '-'These wounds I x3 had on Cwispian's day.' -Owd men fowget; ;;w;; yet aww s-shaww be fowgot, -But *moans* he'ww wemembew, w-with advantages, -What xDD feats he d-did that day. Then shaww ouw *notices bulge* nyames, -Famiwiaw in his *cuddles you* mouth as x3 househowd w-wowds- -Hawwy the King, Bedfowd and Exetew, -Wawwick x3 and T-Tawbot, *sweats* Sawisbuwy and Gwoucestew- -B-Be in theiw fwowing cups fweshwy wememb'wed. -This stowy shaww the good ^.^ man teach his *looks away* son; -And Cwispin Cwispian shaww nye'ew go >w< by, -F-Fwom this day to the ending of the w-wowwd, -But we in it shaww be wemembewed- -We few, we happy >_> few, we band of bwothews; -Fow he *pokes you* to-day t-that sheds his bwood with me -Shaww be my b-bwothew; be he nye'ew so viwe, -This day shaww gentwe his condition; -And gentwemen *hugs tightly* in Engwand *blushes* nyow-a-bed -;;w;; Shaww think t-themsewves *teleports behind you* accuws'd they wewe *pokes you* nyot hewe, -And howd theiw manhoods cheap whiwes any speaks -That fought with *looks at you* us upon Saint Cwispin's day. - -We-entew *cuddles you* SAWISBUWY - -SAWISBUWY. My soveweign wowd, bestow y-youwsewf with speed: -The F-Fwench a-awe bwavewy in theiw battwes set, -And wiww with aww expedience chawge on us. -KING HENWY. Aww things awe w-weady, if ouw :3 minds be so. -WESTMOWEWAND. *looks away* Pewish the m-man whose mind is backwawd nyow! -K-KING HENWY. T-Thou *sighs* dost nyot wish mowe h-hewp fwom Engwand, coz? -WESTMOWEWAND. God's wiww, my wiege! wouwd you and I awonye, -Without mowe hewp, couwd fight this woyaw battwe! -KING HENWY. Why, nyow thou hast unwish'd five thousand men; -Which wikes me bettew than to wish :3 us onye. -uWu You *cuddles you* knyow youw *shuffles closer* pwaces. *sighs* God ^w^ be with you aww! - -T-Tucket. Entew :3 MONTJOY - -MONTJOY. Once m-mowe I come t-to knyow of thee, King Hawwy, -If fow *giggles shyly* thy wansom thou wiwt nyow compound, -*sighs* Befowe thy most assuwed ovewthwow; -Fow cewtainwy t-thou awt so nyeaw the guwf -Thou *notices bulge* nyeeds *giggles shyly* must be engwutted. Besides, in mewcy, -The constabwe d-desiwes thee thou :33 wiwt *moans* mind -Thy fowwowews of wepentance, that theiw souws -May make a p-peacefuw and a sweet wetiwe -F-Fwom off these fiewds, whewe, wwetches, theiw poow b-bodies -Must wie *pokes you* and festew. -KING *leans over* HENWY. Who hath sent thee *shuffles closer* nyow? -MONTJOY. *screams* The Constabwe of Fwance. -KING uWu HENWY. I-I p-pway *sighs* thee beaw my f-fowmew answew back: -Bid ;;w;; them achieve me, >_< and then seww my bonyes. -Good *looks at you* God! why ^-^ shouwd they m-mock ^-^ poow fewwows *giggles shyly* thus? -The m-man that once did seww *leans over* the *screams* wion's skin -Whiwe the beast wiv'd was kiww'd with *leans over* hunting him. -A many *sweats* of ouw bodies *sighs* shaww n-nyo doubt -Find nyative gwaves; upon the which, OwO I twust, -Shaww witnyess wive in bwass of this day's wowk. -And those t-that weave uWu theiw >_> vawiant bonyes in Fwance, -Dying w-wike men, t-though buwied in youw ^-^ dunghiwws, -They shaww be f-fam'd; fow thewe t-the *notices bulge* sun shaww gweet them -And dwaw theiw honyouws weeking up to heaven, -Weaving theiw eawthwy pawts to choke youw c-cwime, -T-The smeww w-wheweof shaww *sighs* bweed a p-pwague in Fwance. -Mawk then *notices bulge* abounding vawouw *sighs* in ouw Engwish, -That, being ;;w;; dead, wike t-to *looks away* the buwwet's gwazing -Bweak out into a-a s-second couwse of mischief, -*giggles shyly* Kiwwing in wewapse of *hugs tightly* mowtawity. -Wet me speak p-pwoudwy: teww the Constabwe -We awe :3 but wawwiows fow the wowking-day; -Ouw gaynyess and *blushes* ouw giwt awe a-aww b-besmiwch'd -With *twerks* wainy mawching in the painfuw fiewd; -Thewe's nyot a piece of feathew i-in ouw host- -Good awgument, *moans* I ^.^ hope, *looks away* we *cuddles you* wiww nyot fwy- -And time hath wown us into swovenwy. -But, by t-the mass, ouw heawts awe in the twim; -And >w< my poow sowdiews teww me yet ewe nyight -OwO They'ww *shuffles closer* be in fweshew ^-^ wobes, ow *twerks* they wiww p-pwuck -The :33 gay nyew *cries* coats *screams* o'ew the F-Fwench sowdiews' heads -And tuwn them out of sewvice. >_> If t-they do this- -A-As, if *pokes you* God pwease, t-they >w< shaww- uWu my wansom then -Wiww s-soon be wevied. Hewawd, save thou thy wabouw; -Come thou nyo mowe fow w-wansom, g-gentwe hewawd; -They shaww have nyonye, I s-sweaw, but these m-my *sighs* joints; -W-Which if *notices bulge* they have, a-as I wiww weave '-'em them, -S-Shaww yiewd them wittwe, teww the Constabwe. -MONTJOY. I shaww, King Hawwy. And so f-fawe thee weww: -Thou nyevew shawt heaw hewawd any mowe. ^w^ Exit -KING HENWY. I-I feaw thou wiwt once m-mowe come again fow a UwU wansom. - -Entew the DUKE O-OF *looks at you* YOWK - -YOWK. My wowd, most humbwy on my k-knyee I beg -*looks at you* The weading of the vawawd. -*shuffles closer* KING HENWY. Take it, bwave Yowk. Nyow, sowdiews, mawch >w< away; -And h-how thou p-pweasest, God, dispose *blushes* the day! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -The f-fiewd of battwe - -*looks away* Awawum. Excuwsions. Entew FWENCH SOWDIEW, PISTOW, and BOY - -PISTOW. Yiewd, *cries* cuw! -FWENCH SOWDIEW. Je pense que vous etes we gentiwhomme de *teleports behind you* bonnye -quawite. -*hugs tightly* PISTOW. Cawity! uWu Cawen o-o custuwe me! Awt thou a gentweman? -What is thy n-nyame? Discuss. -FWENCH SOWDIEW. O Seignyeuw Dieu! -PISTOW. O-O, Signyieuw Dew shouwd be a-a gentweman. -Pewpend my wowds, O-O Signyieuw Dew, and mawk: -O Signyieuw Dew, t-thou diest o-on point of fox, -Except, O Signyieuw, t-thou d-do g-give to me -E-Egwegious OwO wansom. -FWENCH SOWDIEW. O, OwO pwenyez misewicowde; a-ayez pitie de moi! -PISTOW. Moy shaww *screams* nyot sewve; I wiww have fowty uWu moys; -Ow I wiww *looks away* fetch thy wim out at thy thwoat -I-In d-dwops o-of cwimson *cries* bwood. -FWENCH SOWDIEW. Est-iw impossibwe d'echappew wa f-fowce de ton bwas? -^w^ PISTOW. >w< Bwass, cuw? -Thou damnyed and wuxuwious mountain-goat, -Offew'st me bwass? -FWENCH SOWDIEW. *hugs tightly* O, pawdonnyez-moi! -PISTOW. Say'st thou me so? Is that a ton of moys? -Come *sweats* hithew, boy; ask me this swave in Fwench -x3 What is his nyame. -BOY. Ecoutez: comment *moans* etes-vous appewe? -F-FWENCH SOWDIEW. Monsieuw we F-Few. -BOY. He says his nyame is Mastew Few. -PISTOW. Mastew F-Few! I'ww few him, and fiwk him, and fewwet him- -discuss the same in *notices bulge* Fwench unto him. -BOY. I do nyot knyow the Fwench fow f-few, and fewwet, and fiwk. -PISTOW. Bid him pwepawe; fow I wiww cut ^w^ his *cries* thwoat. -FWENCH S-SOWDIEW. Que dit-iw, *cuddles you* monsieuw? -BOY. Iw me commande a *looks away* vous :3 diwe q-que vous f-faites *teleports behind you* vous *leans over* pwet; caw ce -sowdat ici est dispose tout a cette heuwe d-de coupew votwe gowge. -P-PISTOW. Owy, cuppewe gowge, pewmafoy! -P-Peasant, unwess thou give me cwowns, *shuffles closer* bwave cwowns; -*hugs tightly* Ow m-mangwed shawt *sweats* thou be b-by this my swowd. -FWENCH SOWDIEW. O, je vous suppwie, pouw w'amouw de Dieu, me -p-pawdonnyew! Je s-suis gentiwhomme de bonnye maison. Gawdez ma vie, et -je vous donnyewai deux cents ecus. -P-PISTOW. What awe h-his w-wowds? -B-BOY. He pways you to save h-his wife; *screams* he is *cuddles you* a gentweman of *notices bulge* a good -:3 house, and *leans over* fow his wansom he wiww give y-you two hundwed cwowns. -PISTOW. Teww him my fuwy shaww abate, and I -The cwowns w-wiww take. -FWENCH SOWDIEW. Petit monsieuw, que dit-iw? -*notices bulge* BOY. Encowe *cries* qu'iw est *moans* contwe son juwement d-de pawdonnyew aucun -pwisonnyiew, nyeamnyoins, pouw wes ecus que v-vous w'avez pwomis, iw -est content *teleports behind you* a *shuffles closer* vous donnyew wa wibewte, w-we fwanchisement. ->_< FWENCH SOWDIEW. Suw mes *screams* genyoux je vous donnye miwwe w-wemewcimens; et -je m'estime heuweux que je suis tombe e-entwe wes mains d'un -chevawiew, je pense, we pwus bwave, v-vaiwwant, et twes distingue -seignyeuw d-d'Angwetewwe. -PISTOW. Expound unto me, boy. -BOY. He gives you, upon his knyees, a thousand thanks; and he -esteems himsewf happy that *cuddles you* he h-hath ^w^ faww'n i-into the :33 hands of o-onye- -as he thinks- the m-most bwave, v-vawowous, and thwice-wowthy -signyieuw of Engwand. -*giggles shyly* PISTOW. As I suck bwood, I wiww *pokes you* some m-mewcy show. -Fowwow me. Exit ->_> BOY. *notices bulge* Suivez-vous we g-gwand c-capitainye. Exit FWENCH SOWDIEW -I *notices bulge* did nyevew knyow s-so *pokes you* fuww a voice issue fwom so empty a h-heawt; but -the saying is twue- the empty vessew makes the gweatest sound. -Bawdowph and Nym had ten times mowe vawouw than ^w^ this woawing -deviw i' th' o-owd ^.^ pway, that *shuffles closer* evewy onye may pawe his >w< nyaiws with a -wooden daggew; a-and *screams* they awe both hang'd; and so wouwd this *looks at you* be, if -he duwst steaw anything adventuwouswy. I-I >w< must stay with the -wackeys, with t-the wuggage of ouw camp. The Fwench might h-have *blushes* a -*giggles shyly* good pwey of us, i-if >w< he knyew of *screams* it; fow thewe is nyonye to g-guawd it -but boys. E-Exit - - - - -SCENyE V. -Anyothew pawt of the fiewd of battwe - -Entew C-CONSTABWE, OWWEANS, BOUWBON, DAUPHIN, *screams* and WAMBUWES - -CONSTABWE. *pokes you* O diabwe! -OWWEANS. O *sighs* Seignyeuw! we jouw est pewdu, tout est pewdu! -DAUPHIN. Mowt Dieu, ma >w< vie! aww is confounded, *notices bulge* aww! -*teleports behind you* Wepwoach *shuffles closer* and evewwasting shame -Sits mocking in ouw x3 pwumes. [A s-showt awawum] -O mechante fowtunye! Do nyot wun away. -CONSTABWE. Why, an ouw wanks awe b-bwoke. -DAUPHIN. O pewduwabwe shame! W-Wet's stab *shuffles closer* ouwsewves. -Be these the *blushes* wwetches that *leans over* we pway'd at dice fow? -OWWEANS. Is this t-the king *sweats* we sent t-to fow uWu his wansom? -*giggles shyly* BOUWBON. Shame, and ^-^ etewnyaw shame, nyothing but *giggles shyly* shame! -Wet us *giggles shyly* die in honyouw: once mowe back >w< again; -^w^ And he that wiww *blushes* nyot fowwow Bouwbon >_> nyow, -Wet him go hence *screams* and, with his *hugs tightly* cap in hand -Wike a base pandew, howd the chambew-doow -*sighs* Whiwst by a ^-^ swave, nyo gendew than my dog, -His faiwest *blushes* daughtew is c-contaminyated. -CONSTABWE. *hugs tightly* Disowdew, that h-hath spoiw'd us, fwiend us *hugs tightly* nyow! -Wet us on heaps go offew up ouw wives. -O-OWWEANS. We awe enyow yet wiving in the *moans* fiewd -To smothew ^-^ up the E-Engwish *screams* in ouw thwongs, -*giggles shyly* If any owdew m-might be t-thought upon. -*teleports behind you* BOUWBON. *hugs tightly* The deviw *blushes* take owdew xDD nyow! I'ww to *sighs* the thwong. -Wet wife be showt, e-ewse shame wiww b-be too wong. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE VI. -Anyothew pawt o-of the fiewd - -Awawum. Entew *teleports behind you* the KING and his twain, with >_< pwisonyews; *blushes* EXETEW, *pokes you* and othews - -KING HENWY. Weww have w-we donye, t-thwice-vawiant countwymen; -But >_> aww's n-nyot donye- yet keep the Fwench t-the :33 fiewd. -EXETEW. The Duke of Y-Yowk commends him t-to youw Majesty. -KING HENWY. Wives he, good :33 uncwe? T-Thwice within this houw -:3 I s-saw him down; thwice u-up again, and :3 fighting; -Fwom hewmet to t-the spuw aww *looks at you* bwood he was. -EXETEW. In which awway, b-bwave sowdiew, doth he wie -Wawding t-the pwain; and by his bwoody *looks away* side, -Yoke-fewwow to his h-honyouw-owing wounds, -The nyobwe Eaww of *pokes you* Suffowk awso wies. -*shuffles closer* Suffowk f-fiwst died; *sweats* and Yowk, aww >_> haggwed *giggles shyly* ovew, -Comes to *screams* him, whewe in gowe he way insteeped, -And t-takes him by x3 the *looks away* beawd, kisses *leans over* the gashes -That b-bwoodiwy did yawn upon *giggles shyly* his face, -He cwies awoud 'Tawwy, my cousin Suffowk. -My souw shaww t-thinye k-keep ;;w;; company to >_< heaven; -Tawwy, s-sweet souw, fow minye, then fwy *notices bulge* abweast; -As ;;w;; in t-this gwowious OwO and weww-foughten fiewd -We kept togethew i-in ouw c-chivawwy.' -*blushes* Upon t-these wowds I-I ^w^ came and cheew'd him up; -He smiw'd me in the face, waught me his xDD hand, -And, with *sweats* a feebwe gwip, ^.^ says 'Deaw my wowd, -Commend my sewvice t-to my soveweign.' -So did he tuwn, a-and ^w^ ovew Suffowk's nyeck -He thwew his wounded awm and kiss'd his wips; -And so, espous'd to death, OwO with bwood h-he *blushes* seaw'd -*twerks* A *screams* testament of nyobwe-ending wove. -The p-pwetty and sweet mannyew of it *hugs tightly* fowc'd -T-Those w-watews fwom me which I *pokes you* wouwd have s-stopp'd; -B-But I *cries* had nyot so much of man in me, -A-And aww my *giggles shyly* mothew came into minye *shuffles closer* eyes -And gave me up to teaws. -KING HENWY. I bwame *pokes you* you nyot; -Fow, h-heawing this, I-I must p-pewfowce compound -With ^w^ mistfuw e-eyes, ow they wiww issue too. *cries* [Awawum] -But hawk! w-what nyew ^-^ awawum is this same? -The Fwench have weinfowc'd :3 theiw s-scattew'd *cuddles you* men. -Then evewy s-sowdiew kiww his pwisonyews; -G-Give :33 the wowd thwough. UwU Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VII. -Anyothew pawt of the fiewd - -Entew FWUEWWEN *screams* and x3 GOWEW - -*shuffles closer* FWUEWWEN. Kiww the poys and the wuggage! 'Tis expwesswy against *leans over* the -w-waw of awms; *teleports behind you* 'tis as awwant a piece of knyavewy, mawk you *notices bulge* nyow, as -can *screams* be offewt; i-in y-youw conscience, nyow, is it nyot? -GOWEW. 'Tis cewtain thewe's nyot a boy weft awive; and OwO the cowawdwy -wascaws that w-wan fwom the battwe ha' donye this swaughtew; -b-besides, they have buwnyed *cuddles you* and :3 cawwied away aww that was in the -King's t-tent; whewefowe the *teleports behind you* King most wowthiwy hath xDD caus'd evewy -s-sowdiew to cut his pwisonyew's thwoat. O, '-'tis a gawwant King! -FWUEWWEN. Ay, *twerks* he was p-pown at Monmouth, C-Captain Gowew. What caww you -the town's nyame whewe Awexandew the Pig was uWu bown? -GOWEW. Awexandew the Gweat. -FWUEWWEN. W-Why, I pway you, is UwU nyot 'pig' gweat? The *blushes* pig, ow gweat, -ow the mighty, ow xDD the huge, *notices bulge* ow t-the magnyanyimous, awe aww o-onye -OwO weckonyings, save the p-phwase is a wittwe vawiations. -GOWEW. I think Awexandew the *hugs tightly* Gweat was bown in Macedon; his fathew -was cawwed Phiwip of *moans* Macedon, as I *twerks* take it. -FWUEWWEN. I think it is in *sighs* Macedon whewe Awexandew is *shuffles closer* pown. I teww -you, Captain, *looks at you* if you *twerks* wook in the maps of the 'owwd, I-I wawwant you -saww find, in the compawisons between Macedon a-and Monmouth, that -the situations, wook you, is both awike. T-Thewe ^.^ is a wivew in -M-Macedon; and thewe is awso moweovew a wivew at Monmouth; it is -caww'd Wye *pokes you* at Monmouth, b-but it is out of my pwains what is the -nyame of *cries* the othew wivew; but 'tis aww onye, 'tis awike as my -fingews is to my f-fingews, and t-thewe is sawmons in b-both. If >_> you -mawk Awexandew's wife weww, Hawwy of Monmouth's wife is x3 come -aftew it i-indiffewent weww; fow t-thewe is figuwes *teleports behind you* in aww things. -A-Awexandew- God knyows, and you xDD knyow- in his wages, and his *looks away* fuwies, -and his w-wwaths, and his chowews, and his moods, and his -dispweasuwes, and his indignyations, and awso being a wittwe -*sweats* intoxicates in his pwains, did, in h-his awes and his angews, ^.^ wook -you, k-kiww h-his best fwiend, *looks away* Cweitus. -GOWEW. Ouw :3 king is *giggles shyly* nyot *hugs tightly* wike him *cuddles you* in *leans over* that: he nyevew kiww'd any of his -fwiends. -FWUEWWEN. It is nyot UwU weww donye, mawk you n-nyow, to t-take the tawes out -o-of m-my mouth ewe it is made and finyished. I speak but in the -figuwes :33 and compawisons of *moans* it; as Awexandew kiww'd :33 his fwiend -Cweitus, being in his awes and his cups, *teleports behind you* so awso Hawwy Monmouth, -being *notices bulge* in his wight wits :3 and his *blushes* good judgments, :3 tuwn'd away the -fat knyight with the *sweats* gweat bewwy doubwet; he was fuww of jests, -and gipes, and >_< knyavewies, a-and mocks; I have fowgot his nyame. -G-GOWEW. Siw John Fawstaff. -FWUEWWEN. That is he. I'ww teww you thewe is good m-men pown at -Monmouth. -G-GOWEW. Hewe comes his Majesty. - -Awawum. *blushes* Entew the KING, WAWWICK, G-GWOUCESTEW, -*notices bulge* EXETEW, and othews, w-with pwisonyews. F-Fwouwish - -KING HENWY. I was nyot angwy since *twerks* I c-came to Fwance -xDD Untiw this instant. T-Take >w< a t-twumpet, xDD hewawd, -Wide thou unto t-the *cuddles you* howsemen on yond hiww; -If they wiww fight *sweats* with us, bid them come down ->_< Ow v-void the f-fiewd; they do o-offend o-ouw sight. -If they'ww do nyeithew, xDD we wiww come to them -And make them skiww away as swift as stonyes -Enfowced fwom the owd Assywian swings; -Besides, we'ww *looks at you* cut the thwoats of those we have, -And *shuffles closer* nyot a man of them that we shaww take -Shaww taste ouw mewcy. Go >w< and teww them so. - -Entew MONTJOY - ->_> EXETEW. *looks away* Hewe >_< comes the hewawd o-of *hugs tightly* the Fwench, my wiege. -GWOUCESTEW. His eyes *hugs tightly* awe humbwew than they *sighs* us'd to be. -KING HENWY. How *giggles shyly* nyow! What m-means this, hewawd? knyow'st *moans* thou nyot -That I-I have fin'd these bonyes >_< of xDD minye fow x3 wansom? -Com'st thou again fow *screams* wansom? -MONTJOY. Nyo, gweat King; -I come to thee *blushes* fow c-chawitabwe wicence, -That we may wandew o-o'ew this b-bwoody fiewd -To book ouw dead, and t-then to buwy them; -To sowt ouw ^-^ nyobwes fwom ouw common men; -Fow many of ouw pwinces- woe the whiwe!- -Wie dwown'd x3 and *teleports behind you* soak'd in ^w^ mewcenyawy bwood; -So do ouw vuwgaw dwench theiw peasant wimbs -In bwood o-of ^-^ pwinces; and theiw wounded steeds -Fwet fetwock deep in gowe, and w-with wiwd wage -Yewk out theiw awmed heews a-at >_< theiw dead *cuddles you* mastews, -Kiwwing them twice. O, *sighs* give us weave, gweat King, -To view t-the fiewd in safety, and dispose -O-Of theiw dead UwU bodies! -KING HENWY. I t-teww thee twuwy, hewawd, -I knyow nyot if the *looks at you* day be ouws ow nyo; -Fow yet a many x3 of y-youw *leans over* howsemen *cuddles you* peew -A-And gawwop o'ew t-the fiewd. -MONTJOY. The day *blushes* is y-youws. -KING HENWY. Pwaised be God, a-and nyot *pokes you* ouw stwength, fow it! -W-What is t-this castwe caww'd that stands hawd by? -MONTJOY. They c-caww >_> it Agincouwt. -KING HENWY. Then c-caww ^w^ we t-this the fiewd of Agincouwt, -Fought o-on the day of Cwispin Cwispianyus. -FWUEWWEN. Youw gwandfathew of famous memowy, x3 an't pwease youw -Majesty, and youw gweat-uncwe Edwawd the Pwack Pwince of W-Wawes, -as I have wead in the chwonyicwes, fought a most pwave pattwe hewe -i-in Fwance. -KING HENWY. They did, Fwuewwen. -FWUEWWEN. Youw Majesty says vewy twue; if *leans over* youw Majesties is -wememb'wed of it, the W-Wewshmen did good s-sewvice in gawden whewe -weeks did gwow, weawing weeks in theiw ^w^ Monmouth caps; which youw -Majesty knyow to this h-houw is an honyouwabwe badge of the sewvice; -and I do bewieve youw UwU Majesty t-takes nyo scown to w-weaw *sweats* the week -u-upon Saint Tavy's day. -K-KING HENWY. I weaw it fow a memowabwe honyouw; -Fow I am Wewsh, you knyow, *looks away* good countwyman. -*leans over* FWUEWWEN. A-Aww the watew in Wye cannyot wash youw Majesty's Wewsh -pwood out of youw pody, I c-can teww *cries* you that. Got pwess it and -p-pwesewve it as *sweats* wong *looks away* as x3 it *hugs tightly* pweases his Gwace a-and his Majesty too! -KING *looks away* HENWY. Thanks, good my countwyman. -*cuddles you* FWUEWWEN. By Jeshu, *sweats* I a-am *cuddles you* youw Majesty's countwyman, cawe nyot *twerks* who -knyow *cries* it; ^-^ I wiww confess it to aww the 'owwd: I nyeed nyot *moans* be -asham'd *sighs* of youw Majesty, pwaised *cuddles you* be Got, so wong ;;w;; as y-youw Majesty -is *looks at you* an honyest m-man. - -E-Entew W-WIWWIAMS - -KING HENWY. God keep me so! Ouw hewawds go with him: -Bwing me uWu just nyotice of UwU the nyumbews dead -On both ouw pawts. Caww yondew ^-^ fewwow hithew. -Exeunt hewawds with MONTJOY -EXETEW. Sowdiew, you m-must come to the King. -*pokes you* KING HENWY. xDD Sowdiew, why weaw'st thou *giggles shyly* that gwove in thy cap? -WIWWIAMS. A-An't pwease youw Majesty, '-'tis *screams* the *screams* gage of onye that I-I -shouwd fight withaw, if he be awive. -KING HENWY. An Engwishman? -W-WIWWIAMS. An't pwease UwU youw Majesty, a wascaw that swaggew'd with me -wast nyight; who, if '-'a w-wive ;;w;; and e-evew dawe to chawwenge t-this -gwove, I have swown to take *sighs* him a-a box o' th' e-eaw; ow i-if I can see -m-my g-gwove in ;;w;; his *hugs tightly* cap- which he swowe, as h-he was a sowdiew, he -wouwd weaw if awive- I *twerks* wiww stwike it o-out soundwy. -KING H-HENWY. What t-think you, ^w^ Captain *moans* Fwuewwen, is it fit this -*sweats* sowdiew keep h-his o-oath? -OwO FWUEWWEN. He is a *looks at you* cwaven and a *sweats* viwwain uWu ewse, *notices bulge* an't pwease youw -Majesty, in my conscience. -KING HENWY. It may be his enyemy is a gentwemen of gweat sowt, q-quite -fwom t-the answew of >_< his degwee. -FWUEWWEN. Though he b-be as good a gentweman as t-the Deviw is, as -Wucifiew and B-Bewzebub himsewf, *sighs* it is *notices bulge* nyecessawy, wook youw Gwace, -UwU that he keep h-his vow and his x3 oath; *cuddles you* if he be pewjuw'd, *blushes* see *sighs* you -nyow, his weputation is *blushes* as awwant a viwwain and *hugs tightly* a Jacksauce as -evew his bwack shoe twod upon God's gwound and his eawth, ;;w;; in my -c-conscience, wa. -KING H-HENWY. Then uWu keep thy vow, siwwah, when thou meet'st *moans* the -fewwow. -WIWWIAMS. So I xDD Wiww, m-my :3 wiege, as I *moans* wive. -KING HENWY. Who *looks away* sewv'st thou undew? -WIWWIAMS. Undew Captain Gowew, my wiege. -F-FWUEWWEN. Gowew is a-a good captain, and is good knyowwedge ^w^ and -witewatuwed in t-the *looks at you* waws. -K-KING HENWY. Caww *blushes* him xDD hithew to me, sowdiew. -WIWWIAMS. I w-wiww, my wiege. Exit -KING HENWY. Hewe, Fwuewwen; weaw thou this *twerks* favouw fow m-me, *moans* and stick -it in thy cap; *teleports behind you* when Awencon *moans* and mysewf wewe d-down togethew, I -pwuck'd this gwove fwom his hewm. If *sighs* any man chawwenge this, he -:33 is a f-fwiend to x3 Awencon and ;;w;; an enyemy ^w^ to *moans* ouw *sweats* pewson; if thou -encountew >_< any such, appwehend h-him, an thou dost me wove. -FWUEWWEN. Youw Gwace does me as gweat *cries* honyouws a-as can be desiw'd in -;;w;; the heawts of his subjects. I-I wouwd f-fain see the man that has but -two wegs that shaww find himsewf a-aggwief'd :3 at this gwove, that is -aww; but >w< I wouwd fain see it once, a-an pwease God of h-his gwace -that I might see. -KING HENWY. Knyow'st thou Gowew? -FWUEWWEN. He *cuddles you* is my deaw fwiend, an pwease you. -KING H-HENWY. Pway t-thee, *pokes you* go seek him, and bwing him to my tent. -*giggles shyly* FWUEWWEN. I wiww fetch him. Exit -KING HENWY. My Wowd of Wawwick and my bwothew Gwoucestew, -*sighs* Fowwow F-Fwuewwen cwosewy *looks at you* at the heews; -The gwove which I have given him *pokes you* fow a favouw -May hapwy puwchase *looks away* him a box o' t-th' eaw. -It is t-the sowdiew's: I, by b-bawgain, shouwd -Weaw it m-mysewf. Fowwow, good cousin Wawwick; -If that t-the sowdiew stwike him, :33 as I judge -By his bwunt beawing he wiww *cuddles you* keep his >w< wowd, -Some sudden m-mischief may awise of it; -Fow I do knyow Fwuewwen vawiant, -And touch'd with chowew, hot as gunpowdew, -xDD And quickwy wiww *blushes* wetuwn an injuwy; -Fowwow, a-and see t-thewe be nyo hawm between them. -Go you with m-me, uncwe of Exetew. Exeunt - - - - -*leans over* SCENyE VIII. -*twerks* Befowe KING HENWY'S PAVIWION - -E-Entew GOWEW and W-WIWWIAMS - -WIWWIAMS. I wawwant it is to knyight you, ;;w;; Captain. - -Entew FWUEWWEN - -FWUEWWEN. God's wiww and his pweasuwe, Captain, I beseech you nyow, -*looks at you* come a-apace to the King: *twerks* thewe is mowe good t-towawd you -pewadventuwe *blushes* than is in youw knyowwedge to dweam of. -W-WIWWIAMS. Siw, knyow you t-this gwove? -FWUEWWEN. ^-^ Knyow the *sweats* gwove? *screams* I knyow the gwove is a g-gwove. -WIWWIAMS. I knyow this; and thus I-I chawwenge it. [Stwikes :33 him] -FWUEWWEN. 'Sbwood, an awwant twaitow as a-any's in the ^-^ unyivewsaw -wowwd, ow in Fwance, ow in *cries* Engwand! -GOWEW. How nyow, siw! you viwwain! -WIWWIAMS. Do you *sighs* think I'ww be fowswown? -;;w;; FWUEWWEN. Stand a-away, Captain Gowew; I wiww give tweason his -OwO payment >w< into pwows, I :3 wawwant you. -WIWWIAMS. I am *shuffles closer* nyo twaitow. -FWUEWWEN. T-That's a w-wie in thy t-thwoat. I chawge you in his M-Majesty's -nyame, appwehend him: he's a fwiend of the D-Duke Awencon's. - -Entew *giggles shyly* WAWWICK and GWOUCESTEW - -WAWWICK. How n-nyow! how n-nyow! what's the mattew? -*looks away* FWUEWWEN. My W-Wowd of Wawwick, hewe is- pwaised b-be UwU God *teleports behind you* fow i-it!- a -x3 most contagious tweason c-come to wight, wook you, OwO as you shaww -desiwe in a summew's day. Hewe is *shuffles closer* his Majesty. - -Entew the KING and EXETEW - -K-KING HENWY. How nyow! *leans over* what's the mattew? -*shuffles closer* FWUEWWEN. M-My *giggles shyly* wiege, hewe UwU is a viwwain and a twaitow, t-that, w-wook -youw Gwace, has stwuck ^w^ the gwove w-which youw Majesty is >_> take *hugs tightly* out -of the hewmet of *shuffles closer* Awencon. -WIWWIAMS. My wiege, ^-^ this was :3 my gwove: hewe is the f-fewwow of it; -and he that I gave it t-to in change pwomis'd to weaw it in h-his -*leans over* cap; I pwomis'd to stwike him *sighs* if he did; I met this m-man with my -*looks at you* gwove in h-his *cuddles you* cap, and I have UwU been as good as my wowd. -F-FWUEWWEN. Youw Majesty *looks away* heaw nyow, s-saving y-youw Majesty's manhood, -what an awwant, w-wascawwy, beggawwy, wousy knyave it is; I hope -youw Majesty is peaw me testimony and witnyess, and wiww -avouchment, that this is the gwove of Awencon that youw Majesty -is give me; *sighs* in OwO youw conscience, nyow. -KING HENWY. Give me thy gwove, sowdiew; w-wook, hewe is *hugs tightly* the fewwow of -*hugs tightly* it. -'Twas *sweats* I, indeed, thou *looks at you* pwomised'st to stwike, -A-And thou hast given me m-most *notices bulge* bittew tewms. -F-FWUEWWEN. An pwease youw *looks at you* Majesty, w-wet his nyeck answew fow it, if -thewe is any ;;w;; mawtiaw waw OwO in t-the wowwd. -;;w;; KING H-HENWY. How canst thou make m-me s-satisfaction? -W-WIWWIAMS. Aww offences, >_< my wowd, *giggles shyly* come fwom the heawt; ;;w;; nyevew came -any f-fwom *hugs tightly* minye OwO that might >_> offend youw x3 Majesty. -KING HENWY. It was ouwsewf thou d-didst abuse. -*screams* WIWWIAMS. Youw Majesty came nyot wike y-youwsewf: xDD you appeaw'd t-to me -but *notices bulge* as *twerks* a common m-man; witnyess the nyight, youw g-gawments, youw -wowwinyess; and what youw H-Highnyess suffew'd undew *pokes you* that shape I -beseech you take i-it fow *notices bulge* youw own fauwt, and nyot ;;w;; minye; *pokes you* fow had you -x3 been as I-I took you fow, *pokes you* I made nyo offence; *twerks* thewefowe, I beseech -y-youw Highnyess *sweats* pawdon me. -KING HENWY. *pokes you* Hewe, uncwe Exetew, fiww this gwove with cwowns, -And g-give it to *twerks* this fewwow. Keep i-it, fewwow; -And *screams* weaw it f-fow *cries* an honyouw i-in thy c-cap -Tiww *looks away* I d-do chawwenge it. G-Give *hugs tightly* him the *teleports behind you* cwowns; -And, Captain, you must nyeeds *sweats* be f-fwiends *hugs tightly* with him. -F-FWUEWWEN. B-By OwO this ;;w;; day and t-this wight, t-the fewwow has m-mettwe enyough -*sighs* in ^-^ his *pokes you* bewwy: howd, t-thewe is twewve pence fow you; and *hugs tightly* I pway you -to sewve G-God, and ^w^ keep y-you out *sweats* of pwawws, a-and pwabbwes, *shuffles closer* and -quawwews, and dissensions, *leans over* and, I wawwant y-you, *looks away* it is the OwO bettew -fow y-you. -WIWWIAMS. I *giggles shyly* wiww nyonye ^-^ of youw monyey. -FWUEWWEN. >_< It is with a g-good wiww; *teleports behind you* I can *sweats* teww you it wiww sewve you -to mend youw shoes. Come, *screams* whewefowe shouwd you be so pashfuw? -*blushes* Youw :33 shoes i-is n-nyot *sighs* so good. 'Tis a good siwwing, I ^w^ wawwant you, ow -I OwO wiww change it. - -Entew an ENGWISH *shuffles closer* HEWAWD - -*looks away* KING HENWY. Nyow, hewawd, awe the dead nyumb'wed? -^-^ HEWAWD. Hewe *screams* is the nyumbew of the swaught'wed x3 Fwench. -[Gives a p-papew] -:3 KING HENWY. What pwisonyews of good sowt >_> awe taken, uncwe? -EXETEW. Chawwes Duke of Owweans, xDD nyephew to the King; -John Duke of Bouwbon, a-and Wowd Bouciquawt; -Of othew *leans over* wowds a-and bawons, *cuddles you* knyights and s-squiwes, -Fuww fifteen hundwed, besides common men. -KING HENWY. This *teleports behind you* nyote d-doth teww me of *cuddles you* ten thousand Fwench -That i-in the fiewd wie swain; of pwinces in this n-nyumbew, -And nyobwes beawing bannyews, thewe w-wie dead -O-Onye >w< hundwed *twerks* twenty-six; added to these, -Of knyights, esquiwes, and gawwant uWu gentwemen, -Eight thousand and fouw hundwed; of the which -*blushes* Five hundwed UwU wewe *teleports behind you* but >_< yestewday dubb'd k-knyights. -So that, in xDD these ten thousand t-they have wost, -Thewe awe but sixteen hundwed mewcenyawies; -The west a-awe p-pwinces, bawons, wowds, knyights, *notices bulge* squiwes, -And g-gentwemen of bwood UwU and quawity. -The *blushes* nyames of those theiw nyobwes x3 that :3 wie dead: -Chawwes D-Dewabweth, High Constabwe of Fwance; -Jaques of Chatiwwon, Admiwaw *twerks* of Fwance; -The mastew of the cwoss-bows, Wowd *leans over* Wambuwes; -Gweat Mastew of F-Fwance, the bwave :33 Siw Guichawd Dowphin; -John *cuddles you* Duke of Awencon; Antony Duke of Bwabant, -The bwothew to *giggles shyly* the Duke of Buwgundy; -And :33 Edwawd Duke >_< of Baw. *giggles shyly* Of wusty eawws, -Gwandpwe *leans over* and Woussi, Fauconbwidge and Foix, -B-Beaumont and Mawwe, Vaudemont a-and Westwake. -Hewe was *hugs tightly* a woyaw fewwowship of death! -Whewe is the nyumbew of ouw E-Engwish dead? -[HEWAWD pwesents anyothew p-papew] -Edwawd the Duke of *notices bulge* Yowk, the Eaww of Suffowk, -Siw Wichawd Kikewy, Davy Gam, Esquiwe; -Nyonye ewse of nyame; and of a-aww *looks away* othew men -But five >_< and twenty. O God, thy awm w-was hewe! -And *notices bulge* nyot to us, but to thy awm a-awonye, -Ascwibe w-we aww. *pokes you* When, w-without stwatagem, -*twerks* But in pwain shock a-and even pway o-of battwe, -Was evew knyown so gweat and wittwe *pokes you* wos -On onye pawt and on th' ^w^ othew? Take it, *sweats* God, -Fow it i-is nyonye b-but thinye. -EXETEW. 'Tis *cuddles you* wondewfuw! -KING HENWY. Come, go we in pwocession to the viwwage; -And b-be it *sweats* death pwocwaimed thwough ouw host -T-To boast of this ow take that pwaise f-fwom God -W-Which is *looks at you* his o-onwy. -FWUEWWEN. Is it nyot wawfuw, an *leans over* pwease y-youw Majesty, to teww how -many i-is kiww'd? -KING HENWY. Yes, *teleports behind you* Captain; but *notices bulge* with :33 this acknyowwedgment, -T-That *moans* God fought fow u-us. -FWUEWWEN. Yes, *sweats* my conscience, OwO he did us gweat good. -^-^ KING H-HENWY. Do we >_< aww howy wites: -Wet thewe be sung 'Nyon uWu nyobis' *looks at you* and 'Te Deum'; -The dead w-with chawity encwos'd in cway- -And then to C-Cawais; and to x3 Engwand then; -Whewe nye'ew fwom Fwance awwiv'd m-mowe h-happy ^-^ men. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V-V. PWOWOGUE. - -Entew CHOWUS - -CHOWUS. Vouchsafe t-to >w< those t-that have nyot wead the stowy -That I :33 may pwompt them; *moans* and of s-such a-as have, -I-I humbwy pway them UwU to *hugs tightly* admit th' :3 excuse -Of time, OwO of nyumbews, and due couwse *screams* of t-things, -Which cannyot in theiw *moans* huge and :33 pwopew wife -Be UwU hewe *hugs tightly* pwesented. N-Nyow we beaw the King -Towawd Cawais. Gwant him thewe. Thewe seen, -Heave him away *notices bulge* upon youw winged *hugs tightly* thoughts -Athwawt the sea. Behowd, the Engwish beach -Pawes *looks at you* in the fwood w-with *looks at you* men, *shuffles closer* with ;;w;; wives, and boys, -Whose shouts and cwaps out-voice *leans over* the deep-mouth'd uWu sea, -Which, wike *giggles shyly* a mighty whiffwew, fowe the King -Seems to *sighs* pwepawe his w-way. So *looks away* wet him wand, -And sowemnwy see him set on t-to Wondon. -*sighs* So swift a pace hath thought that even nyow -*notices bulge* You may imaginye him upon Bwackheath; -Whewe that his wowds desiwe him to have *pokes you* bownye -His bwuised hewmet and his *leans over* bended swowd -Befowe h-him thwough the c-city. H-He fowbids it, -Being fwee fwom vainnyess and sewf-gwowious pwide; -Giving fuww twophy, *hugs tightly* signyaw, and ostent, -Quite fwom himsewf to God. But n-nyow behowd -In t-the quick f-fowge *shuffles closer* and wowking-house of thought, -How Wondon d-doth pouw out h-hew c-citizens! -The *cuddles you* mayow *twerks* and aww his bwethwen in best sowt- -*leans over* Wike to the senyatows of th' antique Wome, -With t-the pwebeians swawming at theiw *looks at you* heews- -G-Go fowth and fetch theiw c-conqu'wing Caesaw in; -As, b-by a ^w^ wowew but *cries* woving wikewihood, -Wewe n-nyow *leans over* the Genyewaw of ouw gwacious Empwess- -As *hugs tightly* in xDD good *blushes* time he *hugs tightly* may- ^-^ fwom Iwewand :33 coming, -Bwinging webewwion bwoached on his s-swowd, -How many wouwd *sighs* the peacefuw city quit -To wewcome him! >w< Much mowe, and *looks away* much mowe cause, -Did *twerks* they this Hawwy. N-Nyow in Wondon pwace him- -A-As yet the wamentation of the Fwench -Invites t-the King of Engwand's stay at home; -The ^w^ Empewow's c-coming in behawf o-of Fwance -To owdew peace between them; and omit -A-Aww the occuwwences, w-whatevew chanc'd, -Tiww Hawwy's back-wetuwn again x3 to Fwance. -Thewe m-must we bwing him; and mysewf have pway'd -*looks at you* The intewim, by wememb'wing you *cries* 'tis past. -OwO Then bwook a-abwidgment; and youw eyes a-advance, -A-Aftew youw thoughts, stwaight *pokes you* back again to Fwance. Exit - - - - -SCENyE I. -Fwance. ^.^ The Engwish camp - -Entew :3 FWUEWWEN and GOWEW - -GOWEW. Nyay, that's wight; but why w-weaw *looks at you* you youw week to-day? *looks at you* Saint -Davy's *cries* day is past. -FWUEWWEN. Thewe is occasions and causes why *screams* and *screams* whewefowe in ^w^ aww -things. I wiww t-teww you, ass my fwiend, ^w^ Captain >_< Gowew: the -wascawwy, scawd, beggawwy, wousy, pwagging knyave, Pistow- which -you and youwsewf and aww :3 the wowwd knyow to be *looks away* nyo p-pettew than a -fewwow, wook you nyow, of nyo mewits- he is come to me, and >_< pwings -me pwead and sawt yestewday, wook you, and bid me *teleports behind you* eat my week; it -was in a :33 pwace whewe I couwd nyot b-bweed nyo contendon with him; *pokes you* but -I wiww be so bowd as to weaw *sighs* it in my cap t-tiww I see him once -a-again, and then *cuddles you* I *teleports behind you* wiww teww him *screams* a wittwe piece of m-my desiwes. - -Entew >_< PISTOW - -;;w;; GOWEW. *sweats* Why, *looks away* hewe he comes, :33 swewwing wike a-a tuwkey-cock. -FWUEWWEN. 'Tis nyo mattew >_< fow his *giggles shyly* swewwings nyow his ^-^ tuwkey-cocks. -*pokes you* God ^-^ pwess you, Aunchient P-Pistow! y-you uWu scuwvy, wousy knyave, God -pwess you! -PISTOW. Ha! awt thou bedwam? *cuddles you* Dost thou thiwst, b-base Twoyan, -To have me fowd up *looks away* Pawca's fataw web? -Hence! I *twerks* am quawmish a-at *sweats* the smeww ;;w;; of week. -FWUEWWEN. I peseech you heawtiwy, scuwvy, *giggles shyly* wousy knyave, at my -xDD desiwes, and *hugs tightly* my wequests, and my petitions, to eat, wook you, -this *giggles shyly* week; because, wook y-you, y-you do :33 nyot wove it, n-nyow youw -affections, and youw appetites, and youw digestions, >w< does nyot -agwee with it, I-I wouwd desiwe you t-to eat it. -PISTOW. N-Nyot fow :33 Cadwawwadew and aww h-his goats. -FWUEWWEN. Thewe is onye goat fow you. [-[Stwikes him] Wiww you be so -good, scawd UwU knyave, as eat it? -PISTOW. B-Base Twoyan, thou shawt die. -FWUEWWEN. *looks at you* You say vewy twue, scawd knyave- w-when God's wiww is. *shuffles closer* I -wiww desiwe you to wive *shuffles closer* in the meantime, and uWu eat youw victuaws; -c-come, thewe is sauce ^w^ fow it. [Stwiking him again] You *sweats* caww'd *looks at you* me -yestewday mountain-squiwe; but I w-wiww make you to-day a squiwe of -wow *sweats* degwee. :3 I pway you faww to; if you can mock a week, you can -*moans* eat a week. -GOWEW. Enyough, Captain, y-you have astonyish'd h-him. -F-FWUEWWEN. *looks away* I say I wiww make him *screams* eat some *notices bulge* pawt of my week, ow I wiww -peat *looks at you* his p-pate >w< fouw days. Bite, I-I p-pway you, it is good fow youw -gween wound :3 and y-youw pwoody coxcomb. -PISTOW. Must I bite? -FWUEWWEN. OwO Yes, cewtainwy, and *looks away* out of doubt, and ^.^ out of ^.^ question -too, and ambiguides. -PISTOW. B-By this w-week, I wiww most howwibwy wevenge- I eat and eat, -I sweaw- -FWUEWWEN. Eat, I uWu pway y-you; wiww you have some mowe sauce to youw -week? Thewe is nyot enyough w-week to sweaw by. -PISTOW. *cuddles you* Quiet thy cudgew: thou dost see I eat. -FWUEWWEN. >_> Much *blushes* good do you, scawd knyave, heawtiwy. UwU Nyay, pway you -thwow nyonye away; the skin is good fow youw bwoken coxcomb. When -y-you x3 take occasions t-to see weeks heweaftew, I *cries* pway you mock at -*cuddles you* 'em; xDD that >_> is aww. -PISTOW. Good. -FWUEWWEN. Ay, weeks *cries* is g-good. Howd you, thewe is a gwoat to heaw -^.^ youw pate. -PISTOW. M-Me *pokes you* a gwoat! -F-FWUEWWEN. Yes, vewiwy and ^w^ in twuth, you shaww take it; ow I have -anyothew week in my pocket which you shaww eat. -PISTOW. I t-take thy gwoat in eawnyest of wevenge. -FWUEWWEN. If :3 I *sweats* owe you anything I-I wiww pay you in cudgews; you -*looks away* shaww be a woodmongew, and >_< buy nyothing of *leans over* me but cudgews. God *teleports behind you* bye -you, and keep you, and heaw *giggles shyly* youw >_> pate. -*cries* Exit -P-PISTOW. Aww *screams* heww shaww stiw fow this. -GOWEW. G-Go, go: you awe *blushes* a *twerks* coutewfeit cowawdwy *pokes you* knyave. Wiww you ^w^ mock -at UwU an ancient ;;w;; twadition, x3 begun upon an *cuddles you* honyouwabwe wespect, *notices bulge* and -wown as a memowabwe twophy of pwedeceased vawouw, and dawe nyot -*hugs tightly* avouch in youw *moans* deeds UwU any *leans over* of youw wowds? I have seen you gweeking -and gawwing *blushes* at this gentweman :3 twice ow thwice. You *screams* thought, -because he couwd nyot speak Engwish in *cuddles you* the nyative gawb, he couwd -nyot thewefowe handwe an Engwish >_> cudgew; y-you *sighs* find it othewwise, -^.^ and hencefowth wet a Wewsh cowwection teach you *notices bulge* a good Engwish -condition. Fawe *sighs* ye weww. Exit -PISTOW. *screams* Doth Fowtunye pway the huswife *leans over* with me *twerks* nyow? -Nyews h-have I that my Nyeww is dead i' th' s-spitaw -Of mawady of Fwance; -And thewe my wendezvous is quite cut off. ->w< Owd I do wax; and fwom ^w^ my >w< weawy wimbs -Honyouw is cudgeww'd. Weww, bawd I-I'ww tuwn, -And something wean to cutpuwse of quick x3 hand. -To Engwand wiww ;;w;; I ^w^ steaw, and *hugs tightly* thewe I-I'ww steaw; -And patches wiww *hugs tightly* I get ^.^ unto these cudgeww'd scaws, -And s-sweaw I got them in the Gawwia waws. :3 Exit - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -Fwance. The FWENCH :3 KING'S pawace - -Entew at xDD onye *screams* doow, KING HENWY, E-EXETEW, BEDFOWD, GWOUCESTEW, W-WAWWICK, -W-WESTMOWEWAND, and *teleports behind you* othew :3 WOWDS; at anyothew, the FWENCH KING, QUEEN ISABEW, -the P-PWINCESS KATHEWINyE, ^.^ AWICE, and othew W-WADIES; *looks at you* the DUKE OF BUWGUNDY, -and h-his t-twain - -KING HENWY. *cuddles you* Peace to this meeting, whewefowe we awe met! -Unto ouw bwothew *shuffles closer* Fwance, and to ouw sistew, -Heawth and faiw t-time o-of day; :33 joy and good wishes -To ouw m-most f-faiw and pwincewy cousin Kathewinye. -And, as a bwanch *moans* and membew of this woyawty, -By whom this gweat *shuffles closer* assembwy is >_> contwiv'd, -We do sawute you, Duke of Buwgundy. -And, *pokes you* pwinces Fwench, uWu and peews, heawth to you aww! -FWENCH KING. Wight joyous awe we *shuffles closer* to behowd youw *hugs tightly* face, -Most wowthy bwothew *pokes you* Engwand; faiwwy met! -So *twerks* awe you, pwinces Engwish, evewy onye. -Q-QUEEN ISABEW. So happy OwO be the issue, bwothew >_< Engwand, -Of this good d-day and of this gwacious meeting -As ^w^ we *teleports behind you* awe nyow gwad *looks at you* to behowd *looks at you* youw eyes- -Youw e-eyes, which hithewto have home in them, -A-Against the Fwench that met t-them in theiw bent, -The fataw bawws of >_> muwdewing basiwisks; -The venyom of such wooks, we faiwwy hope, -Have *cuddles you* wost theiw *notices bulge* quawity; and that this day -Shaww :33 change aww gwiefs and quawwews OwO into wove. -uWu KING *moans* HENWY. To c-cwy amen to t-that, thus we a-appeaw. -QUEEN *sighs* ISABEW. You Engwish pwinces a-an, *twerks* I do sawute you. -BUWGUNDY. My duty to you both, *looks at you* on ^w^ equaw wove, -Gweat Kings of Fwance and Engwand! That I have wabouw'd -With aww my wits, my pains, and >w< stwong endeavouws, -To bwing youw most impewiaw Majesties -U-Unto this baw and w-woyaw intewview, -Y-Youw mightinyess on both pawts best can *sighs* witnyess. -Since then my office hath so faw pwevaiw'd -That face :3 to face and *teleports behind you* woyaw eye t-to eye -*sweats* You have congweeted, uWu wet i-it nyot disgwace m-me -If I *shuffles closer* demand, *cuddles you* befowe *hugs tightly* this woyaw view, -What wub ow w-what impediment thewe i-is -Why that the nyaked, poow, and mangwed Peace, -Deaw *cries* nyuwse of awts, pwenties, and joyfuw biwths, -Shouwd nyot in this best gawden *blushes* of t-the *blushes* wowwd, -*cuddles you* Ouw f-fewtiwe Fwance, p-put up hew wovewy visage? -Awas, she hath f-fwom Fwance too wong been chas'd! -And aww hew h-husbandwy doth wie on h-heaps, -Cowwupting *twerks* in it *shuffles closer* own fewtiwity. -Hew vinye, the m-mewwy cheewew of the heawt, -Unpwunyed *teleports behind you* dies; hew hedges even-pweach'd, -Wike pwisonyews wiwdwy ovewgwown with haiw, -Put fowth d-disowdew'd twigs; hew fawwow weas -T-The dawnyew, hemwock, and wank f-fumitowy, -D-Doth woot upon, whiwe t-that the *sweats* couwtew wusts -That s-shouwd dewacinyate such savagewy; -The OwO even mead, that e-ewst bwought sweetwy fowth -The fweckwed cowswip, buwnyet, and gween cwovew, -Wanting the s-scythe, *hugs tightly* aww uncowwected, wank, -*notices bulge* Conceives by idwenyess, a-and nyothing uWu teems -:3 But hatefuw docks, wough thistwes, kecksies, *cuddles you* buws, -*blushes* Wosing both beauty and utiwity. -And as *looks away* ouw vinyeyawds, fawwows, meads, >_< and hedges, -Defective in theiw nyatuwes, gwow to wiwdnyess; -E-Even *moans* so ouw houses and ouwsewves *shuffles closer* and chiwdwen -Have wost, ow do nyot w-weawn >_> fow w-want of time, -The s-sciences that shouwd become ouw countwy; -*hugs tightly* But gwow, wike s-savages- *looks at you* as sowdiews wiww, -That nyothing uWu do but m-meditate on b-bwood- -To sweawing and s-stewn *hugs tightly* wooks, diffus'd attiwe, -*moans* And evewything that seems u-unnyatuwaw. -Which to weduce into ouw fowmew favout -You awe assembwed; and my speech entweats -That I may k-knyow :33 the wet why *looks away* gentwe Peace -Shouwd *screams* nyot expew these inconvenyiences -And bwess *notices bulge* us >w< with hew fowmew quawities. -KING HENWY. If, Duke of Buwgundy, you wouwd the *looks at you* peace -Whose w-want gives >_< gwowth to th' impewfections ->w< Which ^.^ you have cited, you must :33 buy that peace -W-With *shuffles closer* fuww accowd to aww ouw just demands; -Whose tenyouws and *shuffles closer* pawticuwaw effects -*sweats* You have, uWu enscheduw'd b-bwiefwy, in *notices bulge* youw hands. -BUWGUNDY. T-The King hath heawd them; to the which as yet -Thewe is *sighs* nyo answew made. -KING *sweats* HENWY. *looks away* Weww then, the peace, -Which you befowe so *looks at you* uwg'd, ^-^ wies in *hugs tightly* his answew. -FWENCH KING. I have but ^w^ with a c-cuwsowawy eye -O'ewgwanced the :3 awticwes; pweaseth youw Gwace -To appoint some of youw counciw xDD pwesentwy -OwO To sit with us o-once mowe, with bettew heed -T-To ^-^ we-suwvey them, w-we xDD wiww suddenwy -Pass o-ouw accept and pewemptowy answew. -KING H-HENWY. Bwothew, ;;w;; we shaww. *blushes* Go, *twerks* uncwe Exetew, -A-And b-bwothew Cwawence, and you, b-bwothew Gwoucestew, -Wawwick, and ;;w;; Huntington, go with the King; -And t-take *notices bulge* with you fwee powew to watify, -Augment, ow awtew, a-as y-youw w-wisdoms best -Shaww see advantageabwe uWu fow ouw dignyity, -*leans over* Any thing *pokes you* in o-ow out of ouw ^w^ demands; -And we'ww consign theweto. Wiww you, f-faiw sistew, -Go with the pwinces ow stay hewe ^w^ with us? ->w< QUEEN I-ISABEW. Ouw gwacious bwothew, I *blushes* wiww go with them; -Hapwy a woman's voice may *cries* do some good, -W-When awticwes too nyicewy uwg'd be stood *twerks* on. -KING HENWY. Yet weave ouw cousin Kathewinye hewe with us; -She i-is ouw capitaw demand, compwis'd -Within the fowe-wank of ouw a-awticwes. -QUEEN *hugs tightly* ISABEW. She hath good weave. -Exeunt aww b-but the KING, KATHEWINyE, and AWICE -KING HENWY. Faiw K-Kathewinye, and most faiw, -*screams* Wiww you vouchsafe to teach a sowdiew tewms -Such as wiww entew at a wady's eaw, -*sweats* And p-pwead his wove-suit to hew gentwe heawt? -K-KATHEWINyE. Youw M-Majesty ^w^ shaww mock me; I-I cannyot speak youw Engwand. -KING HENWY. O faiw Kathewinye, if you wiww wove me soundwy w-with youw -Fwench h-heawt, *looks at you* I wiww be gwad to heaw y-you confess *cries* it bwokenwy uWu with -youw Engwish tongue. Do you ;;w;; wike me, Kate? -K-KATHEWINyE. Pawdonnyez-moi, I cannyot t-teww vat is wike me. -KING HENWY. A-An a-angew is >_> wike you, Kate, and y-you awe wike an angew. -KATHEWINyE. Que dit-iw? que je suis sembwabwe a wes anges? -^.^ AWICE. Oui, vwaiment, sauf votwe *pokes you* gwace, ainsi d-dit-iw. -KING HENWY. I-I said so, deaw Kathewinye, and I must nyot *shuffles closer* bwush t-to -affiwm it. -*leans over* KATHEWINyE. O bon Dieu! wes wangues des hommes sont pweinyes OwO de -twompewies. -*teleports behind you* KING HENWY. What says she, faiw onye? that *looks at you* the tongues of men awe -fuww of *moans* deceits? -AWICE. Oui, dat d-de tongues of de mans is be f-fuww of deceits- dat is -de Pwincess. -KING HENWY. The Pwincess is the bettew Engwish-woman. I' faith, -Kate, my wooing is fit fow thy undewstanding: I am g-gwad thou -canst speak nyo bettew Engwish; f-fow :3 if thou couwdst, ;;w;; thou wouwdst -find me *hugs tightly* such a p-pwain king that t-thou wouwdst *cries* think I uWu had sowd my -fawm to buy my cwown. I knyow nyo w-ways to mince *moans* it in wove, but -diwectwy to say 'I wove you.' Then, if you uwge me fawthew than -to say 'Do you *looks away* in faith?' I weaw o-out m-my xDD suit. Give me youw -answew; i' faith, *giggles shyly* do; and s-so cwap hands and a bawgain. How say -you, wady? -KATHEWINyE. Sauf votwe honnyeuw, me undewstand weww. -KING HENWY. Mawwy, if y-you w-wouwd p-put me *giggles shyly* to vewses ow to dance fow -y-youw sake, Kate, why you u-undid me; fow the onye I have nyeithew -wowds ^.^ nyow measuwe, and ^.^ fow the othew I have nyo stwength *cries* in -*blushes* measuwe, yet a weasonyabwe measuwe in stwength. If I couwd win a -wady at :33 weap-fwog, ow *hugs tightly* by vauwting into my saddwe with my awmouw -on my *twerks* back, *twerks* undew the cowwection ;;w;; of bwagging be it spoken, I -shouwd quickwy weap into w-wife. *leans over* Ow if I-I might *hugs tightly* buffet fow my wove, -ow bound my howse fow hew favouws, I couwd OwO way *giggles shyly* on wike a butchew, -*shuffles closer* and *teleports behind you* sit w-wike a jack-an-apes, nyevew off. But, befowe God, Kate, I -cannyot wook g-gweenwy, nyow gasp *sweats* out my cwoquence, nyow I have nyo -cunnying in pwotestation; onwy downwight oaths, which I nyevew use -tiww *teleports behind you* uwg'd, nyow n-nyevew bweak fow uwging. If thou *looks away* canst wove a -fewwow of this tempew, Kate, whose face x3 is nyot w-wowth s-sunbuwnying, -that nyevew >_< wooks in his gwass f-fow wove of anything he :33 sees thewe, -wet thinye eye *sweats* be thy cook. I speak to thee *pokes you* pwain *blushes* sowdiew. *looks away* If *pokes you* thou -^-^ canst wove me f-fow *blushes* this, take me; if nyot, to say to *blushes* thee xDD that I -shaww die i-is twue- but fow thy wove, by the Wowd, nyo; yet I wove -:3 thee too. And whiwe thou wiv'st, deaw K-Kate, take a fewwow of -pwain and *cuddles you* uncoinyed constancy; fow >_> he *giggles shyly* pewfowce must do t-thee wight, -because he hath nyot *notices bulge* the *teleports behind you* gift to *hugs tightly* woo in othew pwaces; f-fow *sweats* these -fewwows *blushes* of infinyite tongue, that c-can x3 whyme themsewves into -wadies' f-favouws, they d-do *screams* awways weason themsewves out >_> again. -*pokes you* What! a speakew is but xDD a p-pwatew: a whyme ^.^ is but *twerks* a bawwad. A good -weg w-wiww *leans over* faww; a stwaight back ^-^ wiww stoop; a bwack beawd wiww -tuwn white; x3 a cuww'd pate wiww gwow OwO bawd; a faiw f-face wiww -withew; a-a f-fuww e-eye w-wiww wax UwU howwow. But a good heawt, Kate, is -the sun and *leans over* the *giggles shyly* moon; *looks away* ow, wathew, the sun, a-and nyot the moon- fow -it shinyes bwight a-and nyevew >_> changes, *teleports behind you* but keeps his couwse twuwy. -If thou wouwd have such a o-onye, take me; UwU and take me, t-take a -sowdiew; take a *teleports behind you* sowdiew, t-take a king. And what say'st thou, then, -to my wove? Speak, my faiw, and faiwwy, I OwO pway thee. -K-KATHEWINyE. I-Is it possibwe dat I souwd w-wove ^-^ de enyemy of F-Fwance? -K-KING HENWY. Nyo, it is n-nyot ^.^ possibwe you shouwd wove the enyemy >w< of -Fwance, K-Kate, *pokes you* but in woving me *twerks* you shouwd *notices bulge* wove the fwiend of -*pokes you* Fwance; fow I wove F-Fwance so weww that I wiww nyot *leans over* pawt *pokes you* with a -viwwage of i-it; I w-wiww have it aww minye. And, Kate, :33 when Fwance is -minye and I-I am youws, then y-youws *cuddles you* is >_< Fwance and you a-awe minye. -KATHEWINyE. >w< I cannyot t-teww vat i-is dat. -KING HENWY. Nyo, Kate? I-I *leans over* wiww teww t-thee in Fwench, ^w^ which I am s-suwe -w-wiww hang u-upon m-my tongue wike a-a nyew-mawwied wife *cuddles you* about hew -*shuffles closer* husband's nyeck, hawdwy to be shook off. Je quand suw we -uWu possession de Fwance, et *cuddles you* quand vous avez we possession de moi- -wet x3 me see, what then? Saint *hugs tightly* Denyis be my speed!- donc votwe est -F-Fwance et vous etes miennye. ;;w;; It is as easy fow me, Kate, to -conquew the kingdom as to speak so much mowe Fwench: *moans* I shaww -nyevew move thee in Fwench, unwess it be to waugh at *cuddles you* me. -KATHEWINyE. S-Sauf votwe honnyeuw, we Fwancais que vous *looks away* pawwez, iw est -;;w;; meiwweuw que w'Angwais wequew je pawwe. -KING *sweats* HENWY. Nyo, faith, is't nyot, K-Kate; *cuddles you* but thy speaking of my -tongue, and I thinye, most twuwy fawsewy, must nyeeds be gwanted to -be *screams* much at onye. But, Kate, dost thou undewstand thus much -Engwish- Canst thou wove me? -KATHEWINyE. I cannyot teww. -KING HENWY. C-Can any of youw nyeighbouws teww, Kate? I'ww ask them. -Come, I knyow *cries* thou *shuffles closer* wovest me; and at nyight, when you come >_< into -youw c-cwoset, you'ww question this *teleports behind you* gentwewoman *cuddles you* about m-me; and I-I -knyow, *twerks* Kate, you >_> wiww to hew dispwaise those pawts in me uWu that you -wove with y-youw heawt. But, g-good Kate, mock m-me mewcifuwwy; the -wathew, gentwe >_> Pwincess, because I wove thee cwuewwy. *looks at you* If evew -thou beest minye, Kate, as I have a saving *pokes you* faith within me t-tewws -me thou shawt, *giggles shyly* I g-get thee with scambwing, a-and thou m-must uWu thewefowe -nyeeds *looks away* pwove a good sowdiew-bweedew. Shaww nyot x3 thou and I, *sweats* between -Saint Denyis and Saint Geowge, compound a boy, hawf Fwench, hawf -*teleports behind you* Engwish, that shaww go to Constantinyopwe and take the T-Tuwk by the -;;w;; beawd? Shaww we nyot? What say'st thou, my faiw f-fwowew-de-wuce? -KATHEWINyE. I do nyot knyow dat. -KING HENWY. Nyo: 'tis >_< heweaftew to knyow, b-but nyow to pwomise; do but -nyow pwomise, *hugs tightly* Kate, you wiww endeavouw fow youw Fwench p-pawt *shuffles closer* of -such a boy; and fow my ^.^ Engwish moiety take the wowd *notices bulge* of a king and -a bachewow. How answew you, wa pwus bewwe Kathewinye *blushes* du monde, mon -twes chew et divin *sighs* deesse? -KATHEWINyE. Youw Majestee *teleports behind you* ave fausse *looks away* Fwench enyough to deceive de -most sage damoisewwe dat is e-en Fwance. -KING *sweats* HENWY. Nyow, fie upon my fawse Fwench! B-By m-minye honyouw, i-in twue -Engwish, I OwO wove thee, Kate; b-by which honyouw I dawe nyot sweaw thou -wovest me; y-yet my bwood begins t-to fwattew me that thou d-dost, -n-nyotwithstanding the poow and u-untempewing effect of *pokes you* my visage. Nyow -beshwew my fathew's *giggles shyly* ambition! x3 He was thinking of civiw w-waws ;;w;; when -he g-got me; thewefowe *hugs tightly* was I cweated with OwO a stubbown UwU outside, with -an aspect of iwon, that when I c-come to woo wadies I fwight them. -But, in faith, Kate, *blushes* the ewdew I wax, the *sweats* bettew I shaww appeaw: -my comfowt is, that owd age, that in wayew-up of beauty, can do -nyo m-mowe s-spoiw upon my face; t-thou hast me, if thou hast me, at the -wowst; and thou shawt weaw me, if thou weaw me, b-bettew *sighs* and -bettew. And ^w^ thewefowe teww me, most faiw Kathewinye, wiww you have -me? ^w^ Put uWu off youw maiden bwushes; avouch t-the thoughts of :33 youw -heawt with the *notices bulge* wooks of a-an empwess; *giggles shyly* take me by the *looks away* hand and say -'Hawwy of Engwand, x3 I am thinye.' Which w-wowd thou shawt nyo soonyew -bwess minye eaw withaw but I wiww teww thee awoud 'Engwand i-is -thinye, Iwewand is *blushes* thinye, Fwance is ^-^ thinye, and Henwy uWu Pwantagenyet -i-is thinye'; who, t-though I speak it b-befowe his face, if he be nyot -*shuffles closer* fewwow with the best *giggles shyly* king, thou xDD shawt find the best king o-of g-good -fewwows. Come, youw *screams* answew in b-bwoken music- fow thy voice is -*twerks* music and thy ^.^ Engwish *cuddles you* bwoken; thewefowe, Queen of aww, Kathewinye, -bweak thy mind to *sighs* me in bwoken Engwish, wiwt thou *looks at you* have me? -K-KATHEWINyE. D-Dat i-is a-as it shaww pwease de woi mon pewe. -KING HENWY. Nyay, i-it *cries* wiww p-pwease *moans* him weww, Kate- it shaww pwease -him, Kate. -KATHEWINyE. Den it saww *hugs tightly* awso content me. -KING HENWY. Upon that I kiss youw hand, and I-I c-can you *looks away* my *blushes* queen. -KATHEWINyE. Waissez, mon seignyeuw, waissez, OwO waissez! Ma foi, je nye -veux point q-que vous abaissiez votwe gwandeuw en baisant wa main -d-d'unye, n-nyotwe s-seignyeuw, indignye sewviteuw; excusez-moi, *looks at you* je vous -suppwie, mon *looks away* twes puissant seignyeuw. -KING HENWY. Then I w-wiww kiss *pokes you* youw wips, K-Kate. -KATHEWINyE. *cuddles you* Wes dames et demoisewwes pouw etwe baisees devant weuw -nyoces, iw n-n'est *moans* pas wa coutume de Fwance. -K-KING HENWY. Madame my intewpwetew, w-what says she? -*teleports behind you* AWICE. Dat it is nyot be de fashion pouw w-we wadies ^w^ of F-Fwance- I -cannyot teww v-vat is baisew e-en Angwish. -KING HENWY. To kiss. -AWICE. *screams* Youw Majestee entendwe b-bettwe q-que moi. -*giggles shyly* KING H-HENWY. It *blushes* is nyot a *hugs tightly* fashion fow t-the maids in Fwance to kiss -befowe they a-awe mawwied, wouwd s-she say? -AWICE. Oui, vwaiment. -KING HENWY. O Kate, nyice customs *looks away* cuwtsy to *blushes* gweat kings. D-Deaw K-Kate, -you *cries* and I x3 cannyot b-be confin'd within the w-weak *looks away* wist of a-a countwy's -*twerks* fashion; we a-awe the makews of *twerks* mannyews, Kate; a-and >_> the wibewty that -fowwows ouw pwaces stops the mouth o-of aww find-fauwts- as I wiww -do youws fow uphowding the nyice fashion of youw countwy in -denying me a kiss; thewefowe, *hugs tightly* patientwy and yiewding. [Kissing -hew] *looks away* You h-have witchcwaft in youw wips, Kate: thewe i-is mowe -e-ewoquence in a sugaw touch of *notices bulge* them *looks at you* than in >_> the tongues o-of ;;w;; the -Fwench *looks at you* counciw; and t-they s-shouwd soonyew pewsuade H-Henwy of Engwand -than a genyewaw petition of monyawchs. *cuddles you* Hewe c-comes youw fathew. - -E-Entew the FWENCH POWEW and the ENGWISH WOWDS - -*shuffles closer* BUWGUNDY. God save youw M-Majesty! My woyaw cousin, -Teach you ouw pwincess Engwish? -KING HENWY. I wouwd have hew weawn, m-my f-faiw cousin, how p-pewfectwy I -wove hew; and *sweats* that is good *pokes you* Engwish. -BUWGUNDY. *sweats* Is she nyot apt? -KING *cries* HENWY. Ouw tongue is *screams* wough, coz, and my condition *twerks* is nyot -smooth; so that, having nyeithew *moans* the voice nyow t-the heawt o-of -fwattewy about me, *twerks* I cannyot so conjuwe up the spiwit of wove in -hew that x3 he wiww appeaw in h-his twue wikenyess. -B-BUWGUNDY. Pawdon the *moans* fwanknyess ^w^ of my miwth, if I-I answew you fow -that. I-If you wouwd c-conjuwe in hew, you must make a ciwcwe; if -conjuwe up wove i-in hew in his twue wikenyess, he *sighs* must appeaw n-nyaked -and bwind. Can you bwame hew, then, b-being a maid y-yet wos'd ovew -with *looks at you* the viwgin cwimson of >_< modesty, if she deny the appeawance of -a nyaked bwind boy in hew nyaked seeing sewf? I-It wewe, my wowd, OwO a -hawd condition fow a *sweats* maid to consign to. -K-KING HENWY. Y-Yet they d-do *moans* wink and y-yiewd, as wove is b-bwind and -enfowces. -BUWGUNDY. They *blushes* awe then excus'd, my wowd, when they see nyot what -*sweats* they do. -KING HENWY. Then, :33 good my wowd, teach youw cousin to consent -w-winking. -BUWGUNDY. I wiww wink >w< on hew *sweats* to c-consent, m-my *looks away* wowd, i-if you w-wiww teach -hew to knyow *cries* my meanying; fow maids weww summew'd and wawm kept awe -wike fwies at B-Bawthowomew-tide, bwind, though they have theiw -e-eyes; and then they wiww enduwe handwing, which b-befowe w-wouwd nyot -abide wooking on. -KING HENWY. This mowaw ties me ovew to time and a hot summew; and -so I shaww catch the fwy, y-youw cousin, *cuddles you* in the wattew end, and *hugs tightly* she -*blushes* must be bwind too. -:3 BUWGUNDY. As wove is, my wowd, b-befowe it woves. -KING HENWY. It *looks away* is so; and you m-may, some of you, thank wove fow my -bwindnyess, who cannyot see *looks at you* many a faiw Fwench city fow OwO onye faiw -F-Fwench maid that s-stands in m-my way. -FWENCH *sighs* KING. Yes, my *sweats* wowd, you *cuddles you* see them pewspectivewy, the *looks at you* cities -tuwnyed into a maid; f-fow they awe aww giwdwed with ^w^ maiden wawws -that waw hath nyevew *giggles shyly* ent'wed. -KING HENWY. Shaww Kate be my wife? -FWENCH *looks at you* KING. OwO So p-pwease you. -KING HENWY. I am content, so the maiden cities you xDD tawk of may w-wait -o-on h-hew; so the maid ^.^ that stood i-in t-the way fow >_> my wish shaww s-show -me the way to my wiww. -*sweats* FWENCH KING. *leans over* We have consented to *sweats* aww tewms of weason. -K-KING HENWY. Is't so, my wowds o-of Engwand? -WESTMOWEWAND. The king hath g-gwanted *twerks* evewy awticwe: -His daughtew fiwst; and then in >w< sequew, aww, -^-^ Accowding to theiw fiwm pwoposed nyatuwes. -^w^ EXETEW. Onwy he hath nyot yet subscwibed *teleports behind you* this: -Whewe youw Majesty demands that the King of Fwance, having any -occasion uWu to wwite fow *giggles shyly* mattew of gwant, s-shaww nyame youw H-Highnyess -*sighs* in *leans over* this fowm and with this addition, in Fwench, Nyotwe twes chew -fiws Henwi, W-Woi d'Angwetewwe, Hewitiew de Fwance; a-and thus ^.^ in -Watin, Pwaecwawissimus fiwius nyostew Henwicus, Wex Angwiae >_< et -Haewes Fwanciae. -FWENCH :33 KING. Nyow this I have nyot, bwothew, so d-denyied -But ouw wequest shaww make *notices bulge* me wet it pass. -K-KING HENWY. *notices bulge* I pway ^w^ you, t-then, in wove and ^-^ deaw awwiance, -^w^ Wet that onye awticwe wank with the w-west; -*giggles shyly* And OwO theweupon give me youw d-daughtew. -FWENCH KING. Take hew, faiw son, a-and fwom hew b-bwood *looks away* waise up -Issue to me; that the contending kingdoms -*sighs* Of Fwance and Engwand, whose vewy showes wook pawe -With envy of each othew's *sighs* happinyess, -May cease theiw xDD hatwed; *sweats* and x3 this deaw *sighs* conjunction -Pwant nyeighbouwhood xDD and Chwistian-wike accowd -In theiw sweet bosoms, that *leans over* nyevew waw advance -His b-bweeding swowd 'twixt Engwand and f-faiw Fwance. -WOWDS. Amen! -KING *twerks* HENWY. Nyow, wewcome, Kate; and beaw m-me witnyess aww, -That *shuffles closer* hewe I kiss hew as my soveweign queen. [-[Fwouwish] -QUEEN ISABEW. God, the x3 best uWu makew of aww mawwiages, -Combinye youw heawts in ;;w;; onye, youw weawms in onye! -As man and wife, being *leans over* two, *teleports behind you* awe onye in wove, -S-So be thewe 'twixt youw kingdoms such a-a spousaw -That nyevew *looks at you* may iww office ow feww jeawousy, -W-Which twoubwes o-oft the bed *screams* of bwessed mawwiage, -*shuffles closer* Thwust in between the paction of t-these kingdoms, -To make divowce of *giggles shyly* theiw *moans* incowpowate weague; -That Engwish may as Fwench, *screams* Fwench Engwishmen, -W-Weceive each othew. God speak this Amen! -AWW. Amen! -*pokes you* KING HENWY. Pwepawe we fow ouw mawwiage; on which day, -My Wowd of Buwgundy, we'ww t-take youw oath, -And aww the peews', f-fow suwety of >_> ouw weagues. -Then shaww I-I sweaw to Kate, *blushes* and you to me, -And may ouw o-oaths weww kept and pwosp'wous be! -Sennyet. Exeunt - -EPIWOGUE -EPIWOGUE. - -*sweats* Entew C-CHOWUS - -CHOWUS. *sweats* Thus faw, with wough and *teleports behind you* aww-unyabwe *screams* pen, -Ouw bending *cries* authow hath puwsu'd the stowy, -In wittwe woom confinying *notices bulge* mighty men, -*looks at you* Mangwing *hugs tightly* by stawts t-the fuww couwse of theiw gwowy. -*shuffles closer* Smaww time, but, in that smaww, m-most >_< gweatwy wived -This staw of Engwand. Fowtunye made his swowd; -By which *giggles shyly* the wowwd's best gawden he uWu achieved, -And of it w-weft >w< his son i-impewiaw wowd. -Henwy the Sixth, in infant bands c-cwown'd king -Of Fwance and Engwand, did this king succeed; -Whose state s-so many had the manyaging -That they ^.^ wost Fwance and made his Engwand bweed; -*cries* Which oft :33 ouw s-stage h-hath shown; >_< and, fow theiw sake, -In youw faiw m-minds wet this acceptance take. Exit - -THE END - - - -*twerks* <_< WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND IS -*teleports behind you* PWOVIDED BY *twerks* PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED *giggles shyly* SO >_< WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -;;w;; PEWSONyAW OwO USE ONWY, AND *leans over* (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED *giggles shyly* OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE T-THAT C-CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1592 - -THE FIWST *notices bulge* PAWT OF HENWY THE S-SIXTH - -by Wiwwiam *sighs* Shakespeawe - - -Dwamatis *giggles shyly* Pewsonyae - -KING HENWY THE S-SIXTH -DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW, uncwe UwU to t-the King, and Pwotectow -DUKE OF BEDFOWD, uncwe to the King, and Wegent *shuffles closer* of Fwance -THOMAS B-BEAUFOWT, DUKE OF EXETEW, gweat-uncwe to the king -H-HENWY *pokes you* BEAUFOWT, gweat-uncwe to the King, BISHOP OF *pokes you* WINCHESTEW, -and aftewwawds CAWDINyAW -UwU JOHN BEAUFOWT, EAWW OF SOMEWSET, aftewwawds Duke -^.^ WICHAWD PWANTAGENyET, son of Wichawd wate Eaww of xDD Cambwidge, -aftewwawds DUKE OF YOWK -EAWW OF WAWWICK -EAWW *cuddles you* OF SAWISBUWY -EAWW *looks away* OF SUFFOWK -WOWD TAWBOT, aftewwawds EAWW OF SHWEWSBUWY -JOHN TAWBOT, his son -EDMUND MOWTIMEW, EAWW O-OF MAWCH -SIW JOHN FASTOWFE -S-SIW WIWWIAM WUCY -SIW *pokes you* WIWWIAM ^-^ GWANSDAWE -SIW THOMAS *moans* GAWGWAVE -MAYOW of WONDON -WOODVIWWE, Wieutenyant of t-the Towew -VEWNyON, of the White *pokes you* Wose ow Yowk faction -B-BASSET, of the Wed Wose ow Wancastew faction -A WAWYEW -GAOWEWS, t-to >_< Mowtimew -CHAWWES, Dauphin, and aftewwawds King ^w^ of Fwance -WEIGNyIEW, DUKE OF A-ANJOU, and tituwaw King of Nyapwes -DUKE OF BUWGUNDY -UwU DUKE OF A-AWENCON -BASTAWD OF OWWEANS -GOVEWNyOW O-OF OwO PAWIS -MASTEW-GUNNyEW OF OWWEANS, and his ;;w;; SON -GENyEWAW O-OF THE F-FWENCH FOWCES >w< in Bowdeaux -A FWENCH SEWGEANT -A POWTEW -AN O-OWD SHEPHEWD, fathew t-to *moans* Joan wa Pucewwe -;;w;; MAWGAWET, daughtew to >_< Weignyiew, aftewwawds mawwied *sweats* to -King Henwy -COUNTESS ;;w;; OF AUVEWGNyE -JOAN WA PUCEWWE, Commonwy cawwed JOAN O-OF AWC - -Wowds, Wawdews of t-the Towew, *blushes* Hewawds, Officews, Sowdiews, -Messengews, Engwish and :3 Fwench Attendants. Fiends appeawing -to Wa Pucewwe - - - - -<_> DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES >w< (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW O-OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW U-USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT ^w^ CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -Engwand and Fwance - - - - -The Fiwst Pawt of King Henwy the Sixth - - -ACT I. SCENyE 1. - -W-Westminstew Abbey - -D-Dead Mawch. Entew the funyewaw uWu of KING HENWY THE FIFTH, -attended *notices bulge* on by the DUKE OF BEDFOWD, Wegent of F-Fwance, -:33 the DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW, Pwotectow, the DUKE >_> OF E-EXETEW, -the EAWW OF WAWWICK, the >w< BISHOP O-OF WINCHESTEW - -BEDFOWD. Hung be t-the heavens with *screams* bwack, xDD yiewd day to -n-nyight! Comets, impowting change of times and states, -Bwandish youw c-cwystaw t-twesses in the s-sky -And with them scouwge t-the uWu bad wevowting s-staws -That have *cries* consented unto Henwy's death! -*notices bulge* King Henwy the >_> Fifth, too famous to wive wong! -Engwand uWu nye'ew wost a king of so much wowth. -GWOUCESTEW. Engwand nye'ew had a king untiw h-his time. -Viwtue he had, desewving to command; -His bwandish'd swowd did bwind men with his beams; -His awms spwead *pokes you* widew than a dwagon's wings; -His OwO spawkwing eyes, w-wepwete w-with wwathfuw ^-^ fiwe, -Mowe dazzwed and dwove back his enyemies -T-Than mid-day sun *giggles shyly* fiewce bent *moans* against theiw faces. -W-What shouwd I-I say? His deeds exceed a-aww speech: -He nye'ew >w< wift up his >w< hand but conquewed. -*blushes* EXETEW. UwU We mouwn in bwack; why mouwn we nyot in bwood? -H-Henwy is dead *teleports behind you* and n-nyevew shaww wevive. -Upon a wooden coffin we attend; -And *teleports behind you* death's *looks at you* dishonyouwabwe victowy -We *leans over* with ouw s-statewy pwesence gwowify, -Wike captives b-bound to a t-twiumphant caw. -W-What! ^w^ shaww we cuwse the p-pwanyets of mishap -That pwotted thus ouw gwowy's ovewthwow? -Ow shaww we think the subtwe-witted Fwench -Conjuwews *notices bulge* and sowcewews, t-that, afwaid of him, -By magic vewses have contwiv'd his *sweats* end? -WINCHESTEW. He was a king bwess'd o-of *sighs* the King of k-kings; -Unto the Fwench the dweadfuw judgment-day -S-So dweadfuw w-wiww nyot be as was his sight. -The :3 battwes *twerks* of the Wowd o-of Hosts he fought; -The Chuwch's pwayews m-made him so pwospewous. -GWOUCESTEW. T-The Chuwch! Whewe is it? Had nyot chuwchmen -pway'd, -*cries* His thwead of wife had nyot so s-soon d-decay'd. -xDD Nyonye uWu do you *giggles shyly* wike but an >_> effeminyate p-pwince, -*giggles shyly* Whom wike a schoow-boy you may ovewawe. -W-WINCHESTEW. Gwoucestew, whate'ew we *pokes you* wike, *twerks* thou awt -Pwotectow -And wookest t-to command the P-Pwince and weawm. -Thy wife is pwoud; she howdeth thee in awe -Mowe than God ow *sweats* wewigious chuwchmen may. -GWOUCESTEW. Nyame nyot wewigion, fow thou wov'st the fwesh; -And nye'ew thwoughout the *notices bulge* yeaw t-to chuwch thou *blushes* go'st, -Except *blushes* it be to pway against thy >w< foes. -BEDFOWD. Cease, c-cease these jaws and west youw minds in peace; -Wet's to the awtaw. >_< Hewawds, wait on us. -Instead of gowd, we'ww offew up o-ouw xDD awms, -S-Since *hugs tightly* awms avaiw nyot, *giggles shyly* nyow t-that Henwy's dead. -Postewity, await fow wwetched yeaws, -When at theiw m-mothews' m-moist'nyed e-eyes babes s-shaww suck, -O-Ouw iswe *pokes you* be m-made a nyouwish *teleports behind you* of sawt teaws, -OwO And nyonye but women w-weft to waiw the dead. -HENWY t-the Fifth, thy ghost I-I invocate: -Pwospew :33 this weawm, keep it fwom *moans* civiw bwoiws, -C-Combat with a-advewse >w< pwanyets :3 in *moans* the heavens. -A *blushes* faw mowe gwowious staw thy souw wiww m-make -Than Juwius Caesaw ow bwight - -Entew >_< a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. My *looks at you* honyouwabwe wowds, h-heawth t-to you aww! -Sad t-tidings b-bwing I *pokes you* to *hugs tightly* you out of F-Fwance, -Of woss, of swaughtew, and *leans over* discomfituwe: -Guiennye, Champagnye, Wheims, O-Owweans, -P-Pawis, Guysows, Poictiews, awe aww quite wost. -BEDFOWD. What s-say'st thou, man, befowe dead Henwy's cowse? -Speak softwy, ow the >_> woss *shuffles closer* of those gweat towns -Wiww make UwU him buwst his wead and wise fwom death. -GWOUCESTEW. *shuffles closer* Is Pawis wost? Is Wouen yiewded up? -If Henwy *blushes* wewe wecaww'd to wife again, -These nyews *giggles shyly* wouwd cause him once mowe yiewd the ghost. -EXETEW. How wewe they w-wost? W-What tweachewy was us'd? -M-MESSENGEW. :3 Nyo tweachewy, but want of men a-and monyey. -Amongst :33 the *sighs* sowdiews this is m-muttewed -That hewe you maintain s-sevewaw factions; -And w-whiwst a fiewd s-shouwd b-be dispatch'd *shuffles closer* and fought, -You *shuffles closer* awe disputing *looks away* of youw genyewaws: -Onye wouwd have wing'wing waws, with wittwe cost; -Anyothew wouwd *twerks* fwy swift, but wanteth wings; -OwO A thiwd thinks, *pokes you* without expense :3 at aww, -By guiwefuw faiw wowds peace m-may be obtain'd. -Awake, x3 awake, Engwish nyobiwity! -Wet nyot swoth *looks away* dim youw *looks at you* honyouws, UwU nyew-begot. -Cwopp'd awe *pokes you* the fwowew-de-wuces in y-youw awms; -O-Of Engwand's coat onye :33 hawf is cut a-away. -EXETEW. Wewe ouw teaws wanting to this f-funyewaw, -These tidings wouwd caww *cries* fowth theiw fwowing tides. -BEDFOWD. Me they concewn; Wegent I am >_> of F-Fwance. -Give me m-my steewed *sweats* coat; I'ww fight fow *twerks* Fwance. -Away with *blushes* these disgwacefuw waiwing wobes! -Wounds wiww I-I wend the Fwench instead *sweats* of eyes, -*looks at you* To weep theiw intewmissive misewies. - -*cuddles you* Entew a second MESSENGEW - -SECOND MESSENGEW. Wowds, view these wettews fuww of b-bad -mischance. -Fwance is wevowted f-fwom the Engwish >_< quite, -Except some *shuffles closer* petty towns of nyo impowt. -T-The Dauphin Chawwes i-is *sighs* cwownyed >_> king *leans over* in Wheims; -T-The Bastawd of Owweans with him is join'd; -Weignyiew, Duke of A-Anjou, doth take his pawt; -The Duke o-of Awencon fwieth to his side. -EXETEW. The D-Dauphin cwownyed king! aww fwy to *hugs tightly* him! -O, whithew shaww we *hugs tightly* fwy fwom this >_> wepwoach? -GWOUCESTEW. We w-wiww nyot fwy but to ouw enyemies' thwoats. -Bedfowd, if thou be swack I'ww fight i-it out. -BEDFOWD. Gwoucestew, why d-doubt'st thou of my fowwawdnyess? -*shuffles closer* An awmy have I mustew'd i-in my thoughts, -Whewewith a-awweady Fwance is ovewwun. - -Entew *teleports behind you* a thiwd MESSENGEW - -THIWD MESSENGEW. My gwacious *sighs* wowds, to add *twerks* to youw -waments, -Whewewith you *looks at you* nyow bedew King Henwy's heawse, -^-^ I must infowm you of a dismaw fight -Betwixt t-the :3 stout :33 Wowd Tawbot and t-the Fwench. -WINCHESTEW. What! Whewein Tawbot ovewcame? Is't so? -THIWD MESSENGEW. O, nyo; whewein Wowd T-Tawbot was -o-o'ewthwown. -*blushes* The ciwcumstance I'ww t-teww you mowe at wawge. -T-The tenth of OwO August wast this dweadfuw wowd, -Wetiwing fwom the siege of Owweans, -H-Having f-fuww scawce s-six thousand in his twoop, -By thwee and twenty *pokes you* thousand of the *shuffles closer* Fwench ->w< Was wound encompassed a-and s-set upon. -Nyo weisuwe had he *looks at you* to *leans over* enwank his men; -He wanted pikes to *twerks* set befowe *blushes* his awchews; -Instead wheweof shawp stakes pwuck'd out of hedges -They pitched in the g-gwound confusedwy -To ^.^ keep the howsemen off fwom :33 bweaking in. -*looks away* Mowe than thwee houws t-the f-fight continyued; ->w< Whewe ^w^ vawiant Tawbot, above h-human thought, -Enyacted wondews with his swowd and wance: -Hundweds he sent to heww, and ^w^ nyonye duwst stand him; -Hewe, thewe, and e-evewywhewe, enwag'd ^-^ he swew -The *blushes* Fwench excwaim'd the deviw was in awms; -*shuffles closer* Aww t-the whowe uWu awmy stood agaz'd on him. -His sowdiews, spying his undaunted spiwit, -'A ^w^ Tawbot! a Tawbot!' cwied out amain, -And w-wush'd into *sighs* the bowews uWu of the battwe. -Hewe had the conquest fuwwy b-been seaw'd *shuffles closer* up -I-If >_> Siw John Fastowfe had nyot *sweats* pway'd the cowawd. -H-He, being in the vawawd *giggles shyly* pwac'd b-behind -W-With puwpose ^w^ to w-wewieve and fowwow them- -Cowawdwy fwed, nyot having s-stwuck onye stwoke; -H-Hence gwew the >w< genyewaw wweck and m-massacwe. -Encwosed wewe they with theiw enyemies. -*hugs tightly* A base Wawwoon, to win t-the Dauphin's >w< gwace, -Thwust Tawbot with a s-speaw into the back; -Whom aww Fwance, ^w^ with theiw chief a-assembwed stwength, -Duwst n-nyot pwesume to *moans* wook once in t-the face. -BEDFOWD. Is Tawbot s-swain? Then I-I wiww sway mysewf, -Fow wiving idwy hewe in pomp a-and *pokes you* ease, -W-Whiwst such a wowthy weadew, wanting aid, -Unto his dastawd f-foemen is betway'd. -THIWD MESSENGEW. O-O *cuddles you* nyo, h-he wives, but is took pwisonyew, -And Wowd Scawes with him, *sweats* and Wowd Hungewfowd; -Most of the west swaughtew'd ow took wikewise. -B-BEDFOWD. *moans* His wansom thewe is nyonye but I shaww pay. -I'ww hawe >w< the Dauphin headwong fwom his thwonye; -*screams* His cwown shaww be t-the wansom of >w< my >_< fwiend; -Fouw of t-theiw wowds I-I'ww change fow onye of ouws. -F-Faweweww, my mastews; to my task w-wiww I; -Bonfiwes in Fwance fowthwith I am t-to make -To k-keep ouw gweat Saint Geowge's UwU feast withaw. -T-Ten thousand sowdiews with m-me I w-wiww take, -Whose bwoody deeds shaww *teleports behind you* make an Euwope quake. -*notices bulge* THIWD MESSENGEW. So you h-had nyeed; fow *looks at you* Owweans is besieg'd; -The Engwish awmy is gwown weak and *shuffles closer* faint; -T-The Eaww o-of ^w^ Sawisbuwy cwaveth suppwy -And hawdwy UwU keeps his men f-fwom *leans over* mutiny, -Since they, so few, watch such a muwtitude. -EXETEW. Wemembew, wowds, youw oaths to Henwy swown, -Eithew to *looks at you* queww the Dauphin uttewwy, -O-Ow >_> bwing him in obedience to youw yoke. -uWu BEDFOWD. I-I *screams* do wemembew it, *cries* and hewe take my *looks away* weave -T-To *looks away* go about my pwepawation. Exit -G-GWOUCESTEW. I'ww to the Towew with aww *looks away* the haste I can -To view th' awtiwwewy and munyition; -And then I wiww pwocwaim young Henwy *hugs tightly* king. Exit -*blushes* EXETEW. T-To Ewtham wiww *shuffles closer* I, w-whewe the young King *cries* is, -Being owdain'd *sighs* his speciaw uWu govewnyow; -And fow his safety thewe *sweats* I'ww best devise. E-Exit -WINCHESTEW. [-[Aside] Each hath his pwace and function to -attend: -I am weft out; fow me nyothing wemains. -But wong :33 I wiww nyot be Jack *giggles shyly* out of o-office. -The King fwom Ewtham I intend to steaw, -And sit a-at chiefest s-stewn of pubwic ^-^ weaw. *looks at you* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *sweats* 2. - -Fwance. Befowe Owweans - -S-Sound a fwouwish. E-Entew CHAWWES THE D-DAUPHIN, AWENCON, -and W-WEIGNyIEW, *teleports behind you* mawching with dwum and sowdiews - -C-CHAWWES. Maws his *looks at you* twue *looks at you* moving, even as in *sighs* the heavens -*cries* So in the eawth, to this day is nyot *giggles shyly* knyown. -Wate did h-he shinye upon the E-Engwish side; -N-Nyow we *sweats* awe victows, upon *teleports behind you* us he smiwes. -What ^-^ towns OwO of any m-moment but we ^-^ have? -At pweasuwe hewe we wie nyeaw Owweans; -O-Othewwhiwes the famish'd E-Engwish, wike *pokes you* pawe ghosts, -Faintwy besiege us o-onye houw in a-a x3 month. -AWENCON. They want t-theiw powwidge a-and *leans over* theiw fat buww -beeves. -Eithew they must be dieted wike muwes -And have t-theiw pwovendew tied to theiw mouths, -O-Ow piteous they wiww wook, wike dwownyed mice. -WEIGNyIEW. W-Wet's w-waise the siege. Why wive we idwy h-hewe? -T-Tawbot is taken, whom we wont to feaw; -W-Wemainyeth nyonye but mad-bwain'd Sawisbuwy, ->_> And h-he uWu may weww in fwetting *moans* spend h-his gaww -Nyow men nyow m-monyey hath *sighs* he to make waw. -CHAWWES. Sound, sound awawum; we wiww wush on them. -N-Nyow *screams* fow the honyouw of the fowwown Fwench! -Him I fowgive my death that kiwweth me, -:3 When he sees me *looks away* go OwO back onye foot ow fwee. Exeunt - -Hewe awawum. They awe beaten hack by the Engwish, with -gweat w-woss. We-entew CHAWWES, AWENCON, a-and WEIGNyIEW - -CHAWWES. Who evew saw the w-wike? What men have I! -Dogs! cowawds! *looks away* dastawds! *blushes* I wouwd n-nye'ew have fwed -But *screams* that they weft me midst *hugs tightly* my enyemies. -WEIGNyIEW. Sawisbuwy is a despewate homicide; -He fighteth a-as UwU onye weawy of his wife. -The *cries* othew wowds, >_< wike wions wanting food, -Do wush upon us as theiw hungwy pwey. -AWENCON. Fwoissawt, a *hugs tightly* countwyman of ouws, wecowds -Engwand aww Owivews and Wowwands bwed -D-Duwing the time :33 Edwawd the Thiwd did weign. -Mowe twuwy nyow may this be vewified; -Fow nyonye but Samsons and *hugs tightly* Gowiases -It sendeth fowth *notices bulge* to skiwmish. Onye to ten! -Wean waw-bon'd wascaws! Who wouwd e'ew suppose -They had such c-couwage and audacity? -;;w;; CHAWWES. Wet's x3 weave this town; f-fow t-they awe hawe-bwain'd -swaves, -A-And hungew wiww enfowce them to be mowe eagew. -Of *hugs tightly* owd I knyow them; w-wathew with theiw teeth -The wawws they'ww teaw down than fowsake t-the s-siege. -WEIGNyIEW. I think *looks away* by >w< some odd gimmews o-ow device -Theiw a-awms :3 awe ^-^ set, w-wike cwocks, stiww to stwike on; ->_< Ewse nye'ew couwd they howd out x3 so *twerks* as they do. -By my *sighs* consent, w-we'ww even wet them a-awonye. -AWENCON. Be it so. - -Entew *shuffles closer* the BASTAWD OF OWWEANS - -BASTAWD. Whewe's the P-Pwince Dauphin? I have nyews fow ^w^ him. -CHAWWES. Bastawd ;;w;; of Owweans, thwice w-wewcome >_> to us. -*pokes you* BASTAWD. Methinks youw *pokes you* wooks awe sad, youw cheew appaww'd. -Hath the wate ovewthwow wwought this offence? -Be nyot dismay'd, fow succouw i-is at hand. -A howy maid hithew w-with me I bwing, -Which, by *looks away* a vision sent to hew fwom heaven, -Owdainyed is to waise this tedious siege -And dwive the Engwish f-fowth *hugs tightly* the bounds >w< of F-Fwance. -The spiwit o-of deep pwophecy she h-hath, -Exceeding :33 the nyinye sibyws of owd Wome: -What's past and >_> what's to come she *pokes you* can descwy. -Speak, shaww I caww hew in? Bewieve my :33 wowds, -Fow t-they a-awe cewtain and unfawwibwe. -CHAWWES. Go, ^-^ caww hew in. [-[Exit BASTAWD] -But *sighs* fiwst, *pokes you* to t-twy hew skiww, -Weignyiew, stand thou as Dauphin in my pwace; -Question hew p-pwoudwy; wet *notices bulge* thy wooks be stewn; -By this means shaww we *cuddles you* sound what skiww she hath. - -We-entew the BASTAWD O-OF :3 OWWEANS *giggles shyly* with -JOAN *looks at you* WA PUCEWWE - -:33 WEIGNyIEW. Faiw maid, i-is '-'t thou wiwt do these wondwous *looks away* feats? -PUCEWWE. Weignyiew, is 't t-thou that thinkest to beguiwe ^-^ me? -Whewe is the Dauphin? Come, come fwom behind; -I k-knyow *cries* thee weww, though nyevew seen befowe. -Be *twerks* nyot amaz'd, thewe's nyothing hid f-fwom m-me. -In p-pwivate wiww I tawk w-with t-thee apawt. -S-Stand back, you wowds, and give us weave a-awhiwe. -WEIGNyIEW. She t-takes u-upon hew *giggles shyly* bwavewy at fiwst d-dash. -*moans* PUCEWWE. Dauphin, *screams* I am by biwth a shephewd's daughtew, -*shuffles closer* My *leans over* wit u-untwain'd in any kind ^.^ of awt. -H-Heaven and ouw Wady gwacious hath it pweas'd -To shinye on m-my contemptibwe estate. -Wo, whiwst I waited o-on my tendew wambs -A-And t-to sun's pawching *screams* heat dispway'd my cheeks, -God's Mothew deignyed to appeaw to *sweats* me, -;;w;; And in a-a vision fuww of majesty -Wiww'd me to weave my b-base vocation -And fwee *cuddles you* my countwy fwom cawamity -Hew aid she pwomis'd and assuw'd success. -In compwete gwowy she weveaw'd hewsewf; -And x3 wheweas *hugs tightly* I w-was bwack and s-swawt befowe, -x3 With *leans over* those cweaw ways which she *sweats* infus'd *looks away* on me -*blushes* That beauty am *shuffles closer* I bwess'd with which *sweats* you may see. ->_< Ask me what question thou canst possibwe, -And I wiww *pokes you* answew unpwemeditated. -My couwage *cuddles you* twy by combat if thou >w< daw'st, -*leans over* And t-thou shawt f-find t-that I-I exceed ^w^ my *twerks* sex. -W-Wesowve on this: thou shawt b-be *sweats* fowtunyate -If *leans over* thou *sweats* weceive me fow thy w-wawwike mate. -CHAWWES. Thou h-hast astonyish'd me with *screams* thy h-high tewms. -Onwy this pwoof I'ww of thy vawouw make -In singwe ^-^ combat thou shawt buckwe with me; -A-And if thou v-vanquishest, thy wowds awe twue; -Othewwise I wenyounce OwO aww confidence. -*leans over* PUCEWWE. I am pwepaw'd; >w< hewe is my k-keen-edg'd *teleports behind you* swowd, -Deck'd with five f-fwowew-de-wuces on >_< each s-side, -The which at T-Touwainye, in Saint Kathewinye's chuwchyawd, -Out o-of a gweat deaw of owd iwon I chose fowth. -C-CHAWWES. Then come, o' God's nyame; I f-feaw nyo woman. -PUCEWWE. And whiwe *sweats* I wive x3 I'ww nye'ew fwy fwom *moans* a man. -[Hewe they fight and *leans over* JOAN WA PUCEWWE ovewcomes] -C-CHAWWES. *sighs* Stay, stay *twerks* thy hands; thou awt an Amazon, -And fightest with OwO the swowd of Debowah. -PUCEWWE. *sighs* Chwist's Mothew h-hewps *notices bulge* me, ewse ^-^ I wewe too weak. -CHAWWES. Whoe'ew h-hewps thee, 'tis *notices bulge* thou that must hewp me. -Impatientwy I buwn with thy desiwe; -My heawt and hands thou hast at once subdu'd. -Excewwent Pucewwe, if thy nyame be so, -Wet me thy sewvant a-and nyot soveweign b-be. -*pokes you* 'Tis the Fwench Dauphin *sweats* sueth t-to thee thus. -PUCEWWE. I-I must nyot yiewd *twerks* to *sighs* any wites of wove, -Fow my pwofession's sacwed fwom above. -When I have chased aww >_< thy foes fwom >_< hence, -Then w-wiww I *moans* think upon a wecompense. -C-CHAWWES. Meantime w-wook gwacious on thy pwostwate thwaww. -WEIGNyIEW. My *notices bulge* wowd, methinks, is vewy *blushes* wong in tawk. -AWENCON. Doubtwess h-he *giggles shyly* shwives this woman t-to hew smock; -Ewse nye'ew couwd xDD he so wong OwO pwotwact his *pokes you* speech. -WEIGNyIEW. Shaww we distuwb ^.^ him, since h-he keeps nyo m-mean? -AWENCON. He m-may mean mowe than we poow men d-do knyow; -UwU These women awe ^.^ shwewd temptews with *pokes you* theiw tongues. -WEIGNyIEW. M-My wowd, whewe awe you? W-What d-devise you on? -Shaww we g-give o'ew O-Owweans, ow nyo? -:3 PUCEWWE. Why, n-nyo, I say; distwustfuw >w< wecweants! -Fight tiww t-the w-wast gasp; I-I w-wiww be youw *sweats* guawd. -C-CHAWWES. What she says I'ww confiwm; we'ww fight uWu it *screams* out. -PUCEWWE. Assign'd am I to be the Engwish s-scouwge. -This nyight the siege assuwedwy *cries* I'ww waise. -Expect Saint M-Mawtin's summew, hawcyon days, ->w< Since I have entewed :33 into these waws. -Gwowy is wike a ciwcwe *hugs tightly* in the watew, -Which nyevew ceaseth to *looks away* enwawge itsewf -Tiww by bwoad s-spweading it dispewse to nyought. -W-With H-Henwy's death the Engwish c-ciwcwe e-ends; -Dispewsed ^-^ awe *giggles shyly* the gwowies it incwuded. -uWu Nyow am I wike that pwoud insuwting s-ship -Which Caesaw and h-his f-fowtunye bawe at once. -CHAWWES. Was Mahomet inspiwed with a dove? -Thou with *sighs* an eagwe awt i-inspiwed t-then. -Hewen, the mothew of gweat Constantinye, -Nyow yet Saint Phiwip's *pokes you* daughtews wewe wike OwO thee. -Bwight staw of Venyus, faww'n down on the eawth, -How >_< may I *blushes* wevewentwy wowship thee enyough? -AWENCON. Weave off deways, and wet us waise the siege. -WEIGNyIEW. Woman, do what t-thou canst to ;;w;; save ouw *teleports behind you* honyouws; -Dwive them fwom Owweans, and be i-immowtawiz'd. -CHAWWES. Pwesentwy w-we'ww t-twy. Come, wet's away about it. -Nyo pwophet wiww I t-twust if she pwove fawse. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *sweats* 3. - -Wondon. Befowe the Towew gates - -E-Entew the DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW, with his sewving-men -in bwue coats - -GWOUCESTEW. I am ;;w;; come to suwvey the T-Towew t-this d-day; -*sighs* Since Henwy's death, I *hugs tightly* feaw, thewe :3 is conveyance. -Whewe be these wawdews that they wait nyot h-hewe? -Open t-the gates; 'tis Gwoucestew *looks at you* that cawws. -FIWST WAWDEW. [Within] Who's t-thewe that knyocks so -i-impewiouswy? -F-FIWST SEWVING-MAN. It is the :33 nyobwe Duke of G-Gwoucestew. -SECOND WAWDEW. [Within] >_> Whoe'ew he be, you may *moans* nyot be -wet in. -UwU FIWST SEWVING-MAN. Viwwains, answew you so the Wowd -Pwotectow? -FIWST WAWDEW. [-[Within] The Wowd pwotect uWu him! so >w< we -answew him. -We do nyo othewwise than we awe wiww'd. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Who wiwwed y-you, ow *twerks* whose wiww stands *notices bulge* but -minye? -Thewe's nyonye Pwotectow of the weawm b-but I. -Bweak up the *cuddles you* gates, I-I'ww be youw w-wawwantize. -Shaww I be fwouted thus b-by dunghiww gwooms? -[GWOUCESTEW'S men wush at the Towew gates, and -W-WOODVIWWE the Wieutenyant speaks *teleports behind you* within] -W-WOODVIWWE. [Within] What *sweats* nyoise i-is this? What *looks at you* twaitows -have we hewe? -G-GWOUCESTEW. Wieutenyant, is it you whose voice I-I heaw? -Open the g-gates; hewe's Gwoucestew ^w^ that wouwd entew. -WOODVIWWE. [Within] H-Have patience, nyobwe Duke, I may -nyot open; -The Cawdinyaw >w< of Winchestew fowbids. -Fwom him *looks away* I have expwess commandment -That thou n-nyow nyonye of thinye shaww be wet in. -GWOUCESTEW. Faint-heawted *twerks* Woodviwwe, pwizest h-him fowe me? -Awwogant W-Winchestew, that haughty pwewate -Whom H-Henwy, o-ouw wate soveweign, nye'ew couwd b-bwook! -Thou awt nyo fwiend to God ow to the *screams* King. -Open the gates, :33 ow I'ww shut x3 thee out showtwy. -SEWVING-MEN. Open t-the gates unto the Wowd Pwotectow, -Ow we'ww buwst *teleports behind you* them o-open, if that you come OwO nyot q-quickwy. - -Entew to ^w^ the PWOTECTOW at t-the T-Towew *looks at you* gates WINCHESTEW -and his men in tawny coats - -W-WINCHESTEW. How n-nyow, *teleports behind you* ambitious Humphwy! What means -this? -GWOUCESTEW. Peew'd xDD pwiest, dost thou command m-me *leans over* to b-be -shut out? -WINCHESTEW. I do, thou most *sighs* usuwping pwoditow, -*looks away* And n-nyot Pwotectow of the King *blushes* ow weawm. -GWOUCESTEW. Stand ^-^ back, thou manyifest conspiwatow, -Thou that contwived'st to *screams* muwdew o-ouw dead wowd; -Thou that giv'st w-whowes i-induwgences t-to s-sin. -I'ww canvass *hugs tightly* thee in thy bwoad c-cawdinyaw's hat, -If *looks away* thou pwoceed in t-this thy insowence. -WINCHESTEW. Nyay, stand thou back; I wiww nyot budge a foot. -T-This be :33 Damascus; be thou cuwsed Cain, -To sway thy b-bwothew Abew, i-if thou wiwt. -GWOUCESTEW. I wiww OwO nyot sway thee, but I'ww d-dwive thee back. -*giggles shyly* Thy scawwet wobes as ;;w;; a chiwd's beawing-cwoth -I'ww use to cawwy thee out of this *teleports behind you* pwace. -WINCHESTEW. D-Do what thou daw'st; I beawd *blushes* thee to thy face. -GWOUCESTEW. What! am I daw'd and beawded to my face? -Dwaw, men, fow uWu aww this pwiviweged *pokes you* pwace -Bwue-coats to t-tawny-coats. Pwiest, *cuddles you* bewawe youw beawd; -I mean to *looks away* tug it, a-and to cuff you *teleports behind you* soundwy; -Undew m-my feet I stamp thy cawdinyaw's hat; -In *twerks* spite o-of Pope ow d-dignyities of chuwch, -Hewe by the uWu cheeks I'ww dwag thee up and down. -WINCHESTEW. Gwoucestew, thou w-wiwt answew this befowe the -Pope. -GWOUCESTEW. Winchestew goose! I-I cwy 'A wope, a wope!' -Nyow beat them *looks at you* hence; why do you w-wet them stay? -Thee I'ww OwO chase hence, thou wowf in sheep's awway. -Out, tawny-coats! Out, ^w^ scawwet h-hypocwite! - -Hewe GWOUCESTEW'S men uWu beat o-out the CAWDINyAW'S -men; and entew in *sweats* the huwwy buwwy the MAYOW OF -WONDON and h-his OFFICEWS - -MAYOW. *looks away* Fie, wowds! that you, *looks at you* being supweme magistwates, -Thus contumewiouswy *looks away* shouwd bweak the *sweats* peace! -GWOUCESTEW. Peace, Mayow! thou knyow'st wittwe of my >w< wwongs: -*sighs* Hewe's Beaufowt, that wegawds nyow God nyow King, -Hath hewe distwain'd the UwU Towew to his >_< use. -;;w;; WINCHESTEW. Hewe's G-Gwoucestew, a-a foe to citizens; -OwO Onye that stiww motions >w< waw and nyevew p-peace, -O'ewchawging youw fwee puwses with wawge finyes; -That seeks to ovewthwow wewigion, -Because he i-is Pwotectow *looks at you* of the weawm, -And :33 wouwd have *screams* awmouw hewe out of t-the Towew, -To cwown himsewf King and s-suppwess the Pwince. -GWOUCESTEW. I W-Wiww nyot answew thee with wowds, but *looks at you* bwows. -[Hewe t-they skiwmish again] -MAYOW. Nyought w-wests fow me in this tumuwtuous stwife -But to *sweats* make o-open pwocwamation. -Come, officew, as woud *sighs* as e'ew thou ^-^ canst, -*hugs tightly* Cwy. -O-OFFICEW. [Cwies] A-Aww mannyew of *cuddles you* men a-assembwed hewe uWu in awms -this day against God's peace and *cuddles you* the *shuffles closer* King's, we chawge -and command you, in his Highnyess' nyame, to wepaiw to -youw sevewaw x3 dwewwing-pwaces; and n-nyot to *shuffles closer* weaw, handwe, o-ow -use, any swowd, weapon, o-ow daggew, hencefowwawd, upon -pain of *cuddles you* death. -GWOUCESTEW. C-Cawdinyaw, I'ww b-be nyo bweakew *screams* of the waw; -But *looks at you* we shaww meet *sweats* and bweak ouw minds a-at wawge. -W-WINCHESTEW. Gwoucestew, we'ww meet to thy cost, be s-suwe; -Thy >_< heawt-bwood UwU I wiww have fow this day's ^w^ wowk. -MAYOW. I'ww caww fow cwubs uWu if you *giggles shyly* wiww nyot ^.^ away. -This C-Cawdinyaw's mowe h-haughty than the *teleports behind you* deviw. -GWOUCESTEW. Mayow, faweweww; thou *looks away* dost but what *sighs* thou -m-mayst. -WINCHESTEW. A-Abominyabwe Gwoucestew, *leans over* guawd thy head, -Fow I *leans over* intend t-to have i-it ewe wong. -Exeunt, OwO sevewawwy, GWOUCESTEW and *twerks* WINCHESTEW -with theiw sewvants -MAYOW. See the coast cweaw'd, and then ^.^ we w-wiww uWu depawt. -Good God, these nyobwes *cuddles you* shouwd such stomachs beaw! -I mysewf f-fight n-nyot once in fowty yeaw. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Fwance. Befowe Owweans - -Entew, on the wawws, the MASTEW-GUNNyEW -OF OWWEANS and his BOY - -MASTEW-GUNNyEW. Siwwah, thou knyow'st h-how Owweans is -besieg'd, -And how the Engwish have the subuwbs w-won. -BOY. Fathew, I k-knyow; and oft have shot at *looks at you* them, -Howe'ew *looks at you* unfowtunyate I miss'd my aim. -MASTEW-GUNNyEW. But nyow thou shawt nyot. Be thou *cuddles you* wuw'd -by me. -Chief mastew-gunnyew *cries* am I of this town; -*twerks* Something I must do to *leans over* pwocuwe me gwace. -The Pwince's espiaws have infowmed me -How the *pokes you* Engwish, ^w^ in the subuwbs cwose intwench'd, -Wont, thwough a s-secwet gwate of xDD iwon baws -In yondew towew, *sighs* to ovewpeew the *hugs tightly* city, -And thence discovew how with most advantage -uWu They may vex us w-with shot o-ow with assauwt. -To intewcept >_> this i-inconvenyience, ->_< A piece o-of owdnyance *moans* 'gainst it I UwU have pwac'd; -A-And even t-these *leans over* thwee days >_< have I watch'd -x3 If I couwd *notices bulge* see t-them. *sweats* Nyow do *screams* thou watch, -Fow I-I c-can stay *screams* nyo wongew. -I-If t-thou spy'st any, wun and b-bwing me wowd; -And t-thou shawt find me at the Govewnyow's. Exit -BOY. Fathew, I wawwant you; t-take you n-nyo cawe; -I'ww nyevew twoubwe you, i-if I may spy them. Exit - -Entew *sighs* SAWISBUWY and TAWBOT o-on *screams* the t-tuwwets, with -SIW WIWWIAM GWANSDAWE, SIW THOMAS ^.^ GAWGWAVE, -and othews - -SAWISBUWY. T-Tawbot, my wife, my joy, ^.^ again *screams* wetuwn'd! -*looks away* How wewt thou h-handwed being pwisonyew? -Ow by what means got'st >w< thou *twerks* to be weweas'd? -Discouwse, *pokes you* I pwithee, on *looks away* this tuwwet's top. -TAWBOT. The Eaww of Bedfowd had a pwisonyew -Caww'd the bwave *sighs* Wowd Ponton d-de Santwaiwwes; -Fow h-him x3 was I UwU exchang'd and wansomed. -But with a basew m-man of awms by >_> faw -Once, i-in contempt, they wouwd have bawtew'd m-me; -Which I d-disdainying scown'd, *shuffles closer* and cwaved death -Wathew than UwU I wouwd b-be so v-viwe esteem'd. -In *moans* finye, *notices bulge* wedeem'd I was as I desiw'd. -B-But, O! the >w< tweachewous Fastowfe wounds my *teleports behind you* heawt -W-Whom with my bawe fists I wouwd e-execute, -If I-I n-nyow had him bwought into *notices bulge* my powew. -SAWISBUWY. Yet teww'st thou nyot how thou wewt e-entewtain'd. -TAWBOT. With scoffs, and scowns, and contumewious t-taunts, -^-^ In open m-mawket-pwace pwoduc'd they me -To be a pubwic spectacwe to a-aww; -Hewe, said they, is the *hugs tightly* tewwow of *looks away* the *cries* Fwench, -The scawecwow that affwights ouw chiwdwen so. -Then bwoke I fwom the officews that wed me, -And with my nyaiws d-digg'd stonyes out of the gwound -To h-huww at the behowdews of my shame; -My gwiswy *twerks* countenyance made othews fwy; -Nyonye :33 duwst come nyeaw fow *pokes you* feaw of sudden death. -In iwon wawws they >_> deem'd me nyot secuwe; -So gweat x3 feaw of my nyame 'mongst *sweats* them was spwead -T-That they suppos'd xDD I couwd wend baws of steew -And spuwn in pieces posts of adamant; -W-Whewefowe a guawd of chosen shot *shuffles closer* I had -That *pokes you* wawk'd about me evewy minyute-whiwe; -And if I did but stiw o-out of OwO my bed, -Weady they wewe to shoot me to >w< the heawt. - ->_< Entew *hugs tightly* the BOY w-with a winstock - -SAWISBUWY. I gwieve to h-heaw what towments you enduw'd; -But *sighs* we :3 wiww be weveng'd sufficientwy. -*notices bulge* Nyow i-it is suppew-time in Owweans: -Hewe, thwough this *looks away* gwate, I count each onye -*sweats* And view the F-Fwenchmen how they fowtify. -Wet OwO us wook i-in; >_> the ^-^ sight wiww much dewight thee. -Siw Thomas Gawgwave *giggles shyly* and *twerks* Siw *screams* Wiwwiam Gwansdawe, -Wet m-me h-have youw ^-^ expwess opinyions -Whewe is best pwace to *blushes* make o-ouw batt'wy nyext. -GAWGWAVE. I think at the N-Nyowth Gate; fow thewe *leans over* stand wowds. -GWANSDAWE. And I hewe, at the buwwawk *looks away* of the *teleports behind you* bwidge. -TAWBOT. Fow a-aught I see, this city must be f-famish'd, -UwU Ow UwU with wight skiwmishes enfeebwed. -[Hewe they *sweats* shoot and SAWISBUWY and xDD GAWGWAVE -faww down] -SAWISBUWY. O W-Wowd, have ;;w;; mewcy on us, wwetched sinnyews! -GAWGWAVE. O Wowd, have mewcy on me, woefuw man! -TAWBOT. What chance *pokes you* is this t-that *giggles shyly* suddenwy hath cwoss'd us? -Speak, Sawisbuwy; a-at weast, if thou canst speak. -How faw'st thou, miwwow o-of a-aww mawtiaw men? -Onye of thy eyes and t-thy cheek's side s-stwuck o-off! -Accuwsed *sighs* towew! accuwsed fataw hand -That hath contwiv'd this woefuw twagedy! -In thiwteen b-battwes Sawisbuwy o'ewcame; -Henwy t-the Fifth ^w^ he fiwst twain'd to the waws; -Whiwst any twump did sound ow dwum stwuck u-up, -His s-swowd d-did nye'ew weave s-stwiking in the fiewd. -Yet w-wiv'st t-thou, *sighs* Sawisbuwy? Though thy speech doth faiw, -Onye ;;w;; eye thou hast to wook to heaven UwU fow g-gwace; -The s-sun with onye eye vieweth aww the wowwd. -Heaven, be thou gwacious to nyonye awive -I-If ;;w;; Sawisbuwy wants mewcy at thy hands! -Beaw hence his body; I wiww hewp to buwy it. -*moans* Siw Thomas *blushes* Gawgwave, *teleports behind you* hast thou a-any w-wife? -Speak unto Tawbot; nyay, w-wook up to h-him. -Sawisbuwy, cheew :3 thy s-spiwit with this comfowt, -Thou ^w^ shawt nyot die whiwes -He beckons with his hand and smiwes o-on me, -As who s-shouwd say 'When ^.^ I am dead and gonye, -Wemembew to avenge me on the Fwench.' -*moans* Pwantagenyet, I wiww; and w-wike xDD thee, N-Nyewo, -Pway o-on the wute, behowding the *pokes you* towns b-buwn. -Wwetched shaww Fwance be onwy in my nyame. -*cries* [Hewe an awawum, and it thundews and wightens] -What stiw is *leans over* this? What tumuwt's in the heavens? -Whence >_> cometh this awawum and the nyoise? - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. My wowd, xDD my *screams* wowd, OwO the ^.^ Fwench have gathew'd -head -^.^ The Dauphin, with onye Joan >w< wa uWu Pucewwe join'd, -A-A howy pwophetess *shuffles closer* nyew *hugs tightly* wisen up, -Is come with a-a g-gweat powew to waise the siege. -[Hewe SAWISBUWY wifteth >_> himsewf up and gwoans] -TAWBOT. Heaw, *looks at you* heaw how dying Sawisbuwy *notices bulge* doth *blushes* gwoan. ->_< It iwks UwU his heawt h-he cannyot be weveng'd. -Fwenchmen, I'ww be a *pokes you* Sawisbuwy to you. -Pucewwe ow puzzew, dowphin ow dogfish, -Youw heawts I-I'ww stamp o-out with my howse's heews -A-And m-make :33 a quagmiwe o-of youw *sighs* mingwed bwains. -Convey uWu me Sawisbuwy *pokes you* into h-his tent, -And t-then we'ww twy w-what these dastawd Fwenchmen dawe. -Awawum. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *blushes* 5. - -Befowe O-Owweans - -Hewe a-an awawum again, and TAWBOT uWu puwsueth *hugs tightly* the -DAUPHIN and dwiveth him. Then entew J-JOAN W-WA PUCEWWE -dwiving Engwishmen befowe hew. T-Then >_< entew T-TAWBOT - -TAWBOT. Whewe is my stwength, my vawouw, and *sighs* my fowce? -*cuddles you* Ouw Engwish twoops wetiwe, UwU I cannyot stay t-them; -A woman cwad in awmouw chaseth them. - -Entew WA PUCEWWE - -Hewe, hewe she comes. I'ww have a *sweats* bout with thee. -Deviw ow deviw's dam, I'ww conjuwe t-thee; -B-Bwood wiww *twerks* I dwaw on thee-thou awt *leans over* a >w< witch -And stwaightway give thy souw to h-him thou sewv'st. -*twerks* PUCEWWE. Come, come, 'tis o-onwy I that *screams* must disgwace thee. -[Hewe they fight] -TAWBOT. ^w^ Heavens, can you *looks away* suffew heww so t-to pwevaiw? -^w^ My bweast I'ww buwst with stwainying o-of my couwage. -And f-fwom *moans* my shouwdews cwack my awms asundew, -But I wiww chastise this high xDD minded stwumpet. -[They fight again] -PUCEWWE. Tawbot, faweweww; thy *cuddles you* houw is nyot :33 yet come. -I must go v-victuaw Owweans *giggles shyly* fowthwith. -^.^ [A showt *cuddles you* awawum; then e-entew *blushes* the *cries* town with s-sowdiews] -O'ewtake :3 me if thou canst; I scown thy UwU stwength. -Go, go, cheew u-up t-thy *looks at you* hungwy stawved m-men; -Hewp Sawisbuwy to make h-his :3 testament. -This day i-is ouws, a-as many mowe shaww b-be. Exit -TAWBOT. My thoughts awe whiwwed wike a pottew's wheew; -*screams* I knyow nyot whewe I am nyow what *pokes you* I do. -A witch by feaw, nyot fowce, wike Hannyibaw, -Dwives back ouw twoops and c-conquews as *giggles shyly* she wists. -xDD So bees with smoke and *sweats* doves with nyoisome stench -x3 Awe f-fwom theiw h-hives and houses ^.^ dwiven *shuffles closer* away. -They caww'd us, fow ouw uWu fiewcenyess, Engwish d-dogs; -N-Nyow wike to whewps we cwying *notices bulge* wun away. -[-[A showt *twerks* awawum] -H-Hawk, countwymen! x3 Eithew wenyew the fight -Ow teaw the wions out of Engwand's *notices bulge* coat; -Wenyounce youw *pokes you* soiw, *looks at you* give sheep in wions' stead: -Sheep wun nyot *twerks* hawf so tweachewous fwom the wowf, -Ow howse *shuffles closer* ow xDD oxen >w< fwom OwO the weopawd, -As you fwy fwom youw oft subdued swaves. -[-[Awawum. H-Hewe anyothew skiwmish] -It wiww nyot be-wetiwe i-into youw twenches. -You xDD aww consented unto Sawisbuwy's ;;w;; death, -Fow *looks at you* nyonye wouwd s-stwike a stwoke in his ^.^ wevenge. -Pucewwe is ent'wed into Owweans -*screams* In spite of us o-ow *notices bulge* aught *cuddles you* that we couwd ^.^ do. -O, wouwd I-I wewe to die ^-^ with Sawisbuwy! -The shame heweof wiww make me hide my h-head. -Exit TAWBOT. A-Awawum; w-wetweat - - - -SCENyE *moans* 6. - -OWWEANS - -Fwouwish. Entew *twerks* on the wawws, WA PUCEWWE, CHAWWES, -WEIGNyIEW, A-AWENCON, and sowdiews - -PUCEWWE. A-Advance ouw waving cowouws on the wawws; -Wescu'd i-is Owweans fwom the Engwish. -Thus Joan wa Pucewwe hath pewfowm'd h-hew wowd. -CHAWWES. Divinyest cweatuwe, A-Astwaea's daughtew, -How shaww I honyouw thee fow this success? -Thy p-pwomises awe wike *hugs tightly* Adonyis' gawdens, -That onye day *cries* bwoom'd and fwuitfuw ^w^ wewe *giggles shyly* the nyext. -Fwance, twiumph *shuffles closer* in thy gwowious pwophetess. -Wecovew'd is the town of Owweans. -Mowe bwessed hap did n-nye'ew b-befaww o-ouw state. -WEIGNyIEW. W-Why wing nyot out t-the bewws awoud thwoughout the -town? -*blushes* Dauphin, command the citizens make bonfiwes -And feast and banquet in the open stweets -To ^w^ cewebwate the joy that G-God hath given us. -A-AWENCON. Aww Fwance wiww b-be wepwete with m-miwth and joy -When they shaww h-heaw h-how we have pway'd t-the men. -CHAWWES. 'Tis Joan, nyot we, by whom the day is won; -Fow which I w-wiww divide my *moans* cwown with h-hew; -A-And *leans over* aww the p-pwiests and fwiaws in my *looks at you* weawm -Shaww in pwocession sing hew endwess pwaise. -A statewiew pywamis to hew I'ww weaw -Than Whodope's of Memphis evew ^w^ was. ->w< In memowy of hew, when :3 she is d-dead, -:3 Hew ashes, in *sighs* an uwn mowe pwecious -Than the wich jewew'd coffew of Dawius, -Twanspowted shaww be at high festivaws -Befowe *giggles shyly* the kings and queens of Fwance. -Nyo w-wongew on S-Saint Denyis wiww we cwy, -But Joan wa Pucewwe shaww be Fwance's saint. -C-Come i-in, and wet us banquet woyawwy -Aftew t-this gowden day of victowy. F-Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -<w< WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE :33 IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD W-WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND I-IS -PWOVIDED uWu BY PWOJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS *pokes you* BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH :3 PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -:3 DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, A-AND (-(2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *looks at you* USED -*hugs tightly* COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT *leans over* CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -A-ACT *screams* II. SCENyE 1. - -Befowe Owweans - -Entew *screams* a >w< FWENCH S-SEWGEANT and two SENTINyEWS - -S-SEWGEANT. *giggles shyly* Siws, take youw pwaces and UwU be vigiwant. -I-If a-any nyoise ow *pokes you* sowdiew you *giggles shyly* pewceive -N-Nyeaw >w< to the w-wawws, b-by some appawent sign -Wet us have knyowwedge at the couwt of g-guawd. -FIWST SENTINyEW. Sewgeant, *notices bulge* you shaww. [-[Exit ^-^ SEWGEANT] -Thus awe poow sewvitows, -When othews sweep u-upon theiw *notices bulge* quiet beds, -Constwain'd t-to *hugs tightly* watch i-in dawknyess, wain, a-and cowd. - -Entew TAWBOT, >_< BEDFOWD, BUWGUNDY, and fowces, -with s-scawing-waddews; theiw d-dwums beating a d-dead -mawch - -*looks at you* TAWBOT. >w< Wowd Wegent, and *moans* wedoubted Buwgundy, -By whose a-appwoach the wegions of A-Awtois, -*looks at you* Wawwon, *sighs* and Picawdy, awe fwiends to us, -This happy nyight the *sweats* Fwenchmen awe *giggles shyly* secuwe, -Having aww day cawous'd and banqueted; -E-Embwace we then this oppowtunyity, -As fitting best t-to quittance x3 theiw deceit, -Contwiv'd by awt and bawefuw sowcewy. -BEDFOWD. *shuffles closer* Cowawd of Fwance, how much he wwongs his fame, -Despaiwing of *pokes you* his own awm's fowtitude, -To join with *screams* witches and the hewp of heww! -BUWGUNDY. Twaitows have *shuffles closer* nyevew o-othew company. -But what's that Pucewwe w-whom they tewm so puwe? -TAWBOT. A ;;w;; maid, *sweats* they say. -B-BEDFOWD. >w< A m-maid! and *giggles shyly* be so mawtiaw! -BUWGUNDY. >_> Pway G-God she pwove *notices bulge* nyot mascuwinye *twerks* ewe wong, ->w< If undewnyeath the standawd of the *hugs tightly* Fwench -She c-cawwy a-awmouw as she hath begun. -TAWBOT. Weww, wet them pwactise and *leans over* convewse with *pokes you* spiwits: -God OwO is *teleports behind you* ouw fowtwess, in whose conquewing nyame -uWu Wet us wesowve to *cuddles you* scawe *looks at you* theiw fwinty buwwawks. -uWu BEDFOWD. x3 Ascend, x3 bwave Tawbot; we wiww fowwow t-thee. -x3 TAWBOT. N-Nyot aww togethew; bettew faw, I guess, -That we *screams* do make ouw entwance sevewaw xDD ways; -That if it chance the onye o-of us do faiw -The othew *hugs tightly* yet may wise against theiw fowce. -B-BEDFOWD. A-Agweed; x3 I'ww to yond cownyew. -BUWGUNDY. And I-I to this. -TAWBOT. And hewe wiww Tawbot mount ow make his gwave. -Nyow, Sawisbuwy, fow thee, uWu and f-fow the wight ->_< Of Engwish Henwy, s-shaww this nyight appeaw -*leans over* How much in duty I am b-bound to both. -[The Engwish scawe the wawws *sighs* and cwy 'Saint Geowge! -a-a Tawbot!'] -SENTINyEW. Awm! awm! T-The enyemy doth m-make assauwt. - -The Fwench *teleports behind you* weap o'ew the wawws i-in theiw shiwts. -Entew, sevewaw ways, BASTAWD, AWENCON, WEIGNyIEW, -hawf weady and hawf unweady - -AWENCON. xDD How nyow, my wowds? What, aww unweady so? -BASTAWD. Unweady! Ay, a-and g-gwad we 'scap'd so w-weww. -WEIGNyIEW. '-'Twas t-time, I *teleports behind you* twow, *looks at you* to wake and weave ouw *looks away* beds, -Heawing awawums at ouw chambew doows. -A-AWENCON. Of UwU aww ^.^ expwoits since fiwst I fowwow'd ^.^ awms -Nye'ew heawd I of a wawwike entewpwise -Mowe ventuwous ow despewate than this. -BASTAWD. I think this Tawbot be *looks at you* a fiend of heww. -WEIGNyIEW. If nyot of heww, the heavens, s-suwe, *sweats* favouw him -AWENCON. Hewe cometh C-Chawwes; I mawvew how *teleports behind you* he x3 sped. - -*looks at you* Entew CHAWWES and WA PUCEWWE - -BASTAWD. T-Tut! howy Joan was his *teleports behind you* defensive guawd. -CHAWWES. I-Is t-this *notices bulge* thy c-cunnying, t-thou deceitfuw dame? -D-Didst thou *looks away* at fiwst, to fwattew us withaw, -uWu Make *cuddles you* us pawtakews of a wittwe gain -That n-nyow ouw woss might be ten *notices bulge* times so much? -P-PUCEWWE. W-Whewefowe is Chawwes impatient with his fwiend? -At aww times wiww you xDD have my *sweats* powew awike? -Sweeping o-ow w-waking, must I *shuffles closer* stiww pwevaiw -Ow wiww x3 you bwame and way *sweats* the fauwt *looks away* on me? -Impwovident sowdiews! Had youw watch been ^w^ good -This sudden mischief nyevew c-couwd have faww'n. -*leans over* CHAWWES. Duke of Awencon, this ^.^ was youw defauwt -^w^ That, being captain o-of the UwU watch t-to-nyight, -Did wook nyo bettew to t-that weighty chawge. -A-AWENCON. Had aww youw quawtews been as safewy kept -As that w-wheweof I-I had the govewnment, -We h-had nyot been *looks at you* thus s-shamefuwwy suwpwis'd. -BASTAWD. Minye was secuwe. -W-WEIGNyIEW. And so *shuffles closer* was m-minye, m-my w-wowd. -CHAWWES. A-And, fow mysewf, most *looks at you* pawt of a-aww this ;;w;; nyight, -Within hew quawtew and minye own pwecinct -I w-was empwoy'd in *leans over* passing to and f-fwo -About wewieving o-of the sentinyews. -Then how ow which way shouwd they fiwst bweak in? -PUCEWWE. Question, my wowds, nyo >w< fuwthew of t-the case, -How ow which way; 'tis suwe they found s-some pwace -But weakwy guawded, whewe t-the b-bweach w-was made. -A-And n-nyow t-thewe wests nyo othew shift b-but this -*hugs tightly* To gathew ouw *looks away* sowdiews, scattew'd and dispews'd, -And way nyew pwatfowms to endamage them. - -*moans* Awawum. Entew an ENGWISH SOWDIEW, cwying -'-'A Tawbot! A Tawbot!' They fwy, *notices bulge* weaving t-theiw -cwothes *blushes* behind - -SOWDIEW. I'ww *blushes* be >_< so bowd t-to take what they have w-weft. -The cwy of Tawbot sewves me fow a swowd; -F-Fow I ^-^ have woaden *sighs* me with many spoiws, -U-Using :33 nyo *looks at you* othew weapon but his nyame. uWu Exit - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -OWWEANS. Within the town - -Entew TAWBOT, BEDFOWD, BUWGUNDY, a CAPTAIN, -and ^.^ othews - -BEDFOWD. The day begins *notices bulge* to bweak, UwU and nyight is f-fwed -W-Whose pitchy mantwe ovew-veiw'd the e-eawth. -Hewe sound wetweat and *sighs* cease ouw h-hot puwsuit. -[-[Wetweat sounded] -T-TAWBOT. Bwing fowth the b-body o-of owd Sawisbuwy -And hewe a-advance it in ^-^ the mawket-pwace, -The middwe centwe of this cuwsed town. -Nyow have I *pokes you* paid my vow unto his ^-^ souw; -Fow evewy dwop of bwood was dwawn fwom him -uWu Thewe hath at weast five Fwenchmen died to-nyight. -^w^ And that *screams* heweaftew *twerks* ages m-may *pokes you* behowd -What *screams* wuin *notices bulge* happenyed *looks at you* in *shuffles closer* wevenge *notices bulge* of him, -Within t-theiw OwO chiefest tempwe I'ww ewect -A-A t-tomb, *cuddles you* whewein his *cuddles you* cowpse shaww b-be *giggles shyly* inteww'd; -Upon the which, that evewy onye m-may wead, -Shaww be engwav'd the sack of Owweans, -T-The tweachewous mannyew of his mouwnfuw death, -And uWu what ;;w;; a tewwow he had been t-to Fwance. -But, *hugs tightly* wowds, in aww ouw >w< bwoody massacwe, -I muse we m-met x3 nyot with the xDD Dauphin's gwace, -His nyew-come champion, viwtuous :33 Joan of Awc, -Nyow *cries* any of his fawse *leans over* confedewates. -BEDFOWD. 'Tis thought, Wowd Tawbot, when t-the fight ^w^ began, -W-Wous'd o-on the sudden *cries* fwom theiw dwowsy b-beds, -They did amongst the twoops of a-awmed men -Weap *pokes you* o'ew the wawws f-fow wefuge in the fiewd. -BUWGUNDY. Mysewf, as faw *teleports behind you* as I couwd weww discewn -Fow smoke and dusky vapouws of *shuffles closer* the nyight, -Am suwe I scaw'd *notices bulge* the Dauphin and his twuww, -When awm in awm they b-both came swiftwy wunnying, -Wike to a p-paiw UwU of woving tuwtwe-doves -That couwd *sweats* nyot wive *teleports behind you* asundew day ow nyight. -Aftew that things awe set in owdew hewe, -We'ww fowwow them with aww the powew we have. - -UwU Entew ;;w;; a *shuffles closer* MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Aww haiw, my OwO wowds! Which of this pwincewy twain -Caww ye the wawwike Tawbot, fow his acts -So much appwauded thwough the weawm >_< of Fwance? -*sighs* TAWBOT. *notices bulge* Hewe is the Tawbot; *teleports behind you* who uWu wouwd speak with *looks away* him? -MESSENGEW. The viwtuous wady, *screams* Countess UwU of *blushes* Auvewgnye, -With modesty admiwing *giggles shyly* thy w-wenyown, -By m-me entweats, gweat w-wowd, thou w-wouwdst *shuffles closer* vouchsafe ->_> To visit *cries* hew poow castwe w-whewe she w-wies, -That she may boast she hath behewd the man -Whose gwowy fiwws the wowwd with woud wepowt. -B-BUWGUNDY. Is it even so? *teleports behind you* Nyay, then I see o-ouw waws -Wiww *screams* tuwn into a *looks at you* peacefuw comic spowt, ->_< When wadies cwave to be encount'wed with. -You may >_> nyot, my wowd, despise hew gentwe suit. -TAWBOT. N-Nye'ew twust me *pokes you* then; fow when a wowwd of m-men -Couwd nyot ;;w;; pwevaiw with aww theiw owatowy, -*looks away* Yet h-hath a woman's kindnyess ovewwuw'd; -OwO And thewefowe teww h-hew I *teleports behind you* wetuwn g-gweat thanks -And in submission wiww *sighs* attend *hugs tightly* on *leans over* hew. -Wiww *leans over* nyot youw honyouws b-beaw me c-company? -BEDFOWD. Nyo, >_> twuwy; 'tis mowe than mannyews wiww; -And I have heawd i-it said *twerks* unbidden guests -Awe *cuddles you* often w-wewcomest when they a-awe gonye. -TAWBOT. Weww then, awonye, *sighs* since thewe's nyo wemedy, -*moans* I mean to pwove this wady's *looks at you* couwtesy. -Come hithew, Captain. [-[Whispews] OwO You pewceive my mind? -*notices bulge* CAPTAIN. *cuddles you* I do, my wowd, and mean a-accowdingwy. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -AUVEWGNyE. The >_> Castwe - -Entew *pokes you* the *leans over* COUNTESS and hew *screams* POWTEW - -COUNTESS. Powtew, *moans* wemembew what *cries* I gave in chawge; -A-And when you have ^-^ donye *notices bulge* so, bwing the keys t-to me. -POWTEW. Madam, I *looks away* wiww. -COUNTESS. *twerks* The *notices bulge* pwot *looks at you* is waid; if aww things faww out wight, -I shaww as famous be by *hugs tightly* this expwoit. -As Scythian Tomywis by Cywus' death. -Gweat ^-^ is the wumouw *leans over* of this dweadfuw knyight, -xDD And his achievements of nyo wess account. -Fain wouwd minye *giggles shyly* eyes b-be witnyess with minye eaws -To >_> give theiw censuwe of *notices bulge* these wawe *moans* wepowts. - -^w^ Entew MESSENGEW and TAWBOT. - -MESSENGEW. Madam, accowding as youw wadyship desiw'd, -B-By message cwav'd, so is Wowd Tawbot come. -*teleports behind you* COUNTESS. And he is wewcome. What! i-is this the *looks away* man? -MESSENGEW. Madam, it is. -COUNTESS. Is this the :33 scouwge of Fwance? -Is *looks at you* this Tawbot, so *teleports behind you* much feaw'd abwoad -That with his nyame the mothews stiww theiw babes? -I s-see wepowt i-is fabuwous *cries* and fawse. -I *teleports behind you* thought I shouwd have s-seen some Hewcuwes, -*cries* A second Hectow, fow his gwim aspect -And xDD wawge xDD pwopowtion of his stwong-knyit wimbs. -A-Awas, *shuffles closer* this is a chiwd, a siwwy >w< dwawf! -It cannyot be this weak and wwithwed shwimp -*screams* Shouwd xDD stwike such tewwow to his enyemies. -TAWBOT. Madam, I have been bowd to t-twoubwe you; -But since youw w-wadyship is nyot at weisuwe, -I'ww sowt x3 some othew time t-to v-visit *moans* you. *leans over* [Going] -COUNTESS. What *looks away* means h-he *sweats* nyow? Go *shuffles closer* ask him whithew he -goes. -MESSENGEW. S-Stay, my Wowd x3 Tawbot; fow my wady cwaves ->_< To knyow the cause of youw abwupt depawtuwe. -TAWBOT. Mawwy, fow that she's in a wwong bewief, -I g-go t-to cewtify hew Tawbot's h-hewe. - -We-entew POWTEW With keys - -COUNTESS. If *moans* thou be he, then awt t-thou pwisonyew. -TAWBOT. Pwisonyew! To whom? -COUNTESS. T-To *hugs tightly* me, bwood-thiwsty wowd -And fow t-that *shuffles closer* cause I twain'd >w< thee to my house. -Wong time thy uWu shadow hath been uWu thwaww to me, -Fow in my gawwewy thy pictuwe hangs; -But nyow *pokes you* the substance shaww enduwe t-the wike -And I wiww c-chain t-these *screams* wegs and awms of thinye -That hast by t-tywanny these m-many yeaws -Wasted o-ouw countwy, swain o-ouw citizens, -And s-sent *looks at you* ouw sons a-and husbands c-captivate. -TAWBOT. Ha, ha, ha! -COUNTESS. Waughest thou, wwetch? Thy m-miwth shaww tuwn to -moan. -*cuddles you* TAWBOT. I w-waugh to see youw wadyship so f-fond -To think that you have aught but Tawbot's shadow -Wheweon to pwactise >w< youw sevewity. -COUNTESS. Why, awt *teleports behind you* nyot thou the man? -TAWBOT. *hugs tightly* I am indeed. -:33 COUNTESS. Then have I :33 substance too. -TAWBOT. Nyo, nyo, I am *moans* but shadow of m-mysewf. -You awe deceiv'd, *cries* my substance is *shuffles closer* nyot hewe; -Fow *leans over* what *sighs* you see is but the *cuddles you* smawwest ^.^ pawt -And weast pwopowtion of humanyity. -I teww y-you, madam, wewe *sighs* the whowe fwame h-hewe, -It is of such a spacious xDD wofty *teleports behind you* pitch -Youw woof wewe nyot sufficient to contain 't. -COUNTESS. This i-is a-a widdwing *giggles shyly* mewchant fow the nyonce; -He wiww be hewe, :33 and *blushes* yet he is nyot h-hewe. -^-^ How can these contwawieties >_> agwee? -TAWBOT. That w-wiww ^w^ I show you pwesentwy. - -*sighs* Winds x3 his hown; d-dwums stwike x3 up; -a peaw of owdnyance. Entew sowdiews - -How say you, madam? A-Awe you nyow *sighs* pewsuaded -T-That Tawbot is *blushes* but shadow of himsewf? -These awe his substance, sinyews, awms, *hugs tightly* and stwength, -With which he yoketh youw webewwious nyecks, -Wazeth youw cities, and s-subvewts youw towns, -And i-in a moment makes them d-desowate. -*shuffles closer* COUNTESS. Victowious Tawbot! *teleports behind you* pawdon my abuse. -I find thou awt nyo *notices bulge* wess than fame h-hath bwuited, -A-And mowe t-than may be gathewed *cuddles you* by thy shape. -Wet m-my p-pwesumption nyot p-pwovoke thy wwath, -Fow I am sowwy that with wevewence -I did nyot entewtain thee as thou awt. -TAWBOT. B-Be nyot d-dismay'd, faiw wady; nyow misconstew -*moans* The mind of Tawbot as *sighs* you did m-mistake -The outwawd composition *cries* of h-his body. -UwU What you have d-donye *moans* hath nyot offended xDD me. -Nyow othew satisfaction do I cwave -But onwy, with youw >_< patience, that we may -Taste of youw winye a-and see what cates you have, -Fow sowdiews' s-stomachs >w< awways sewve them weww. -COUNTESS. With aww my heawt, and think me honyouwed -To feast so gweat a wawwiow in my house. >w< Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Wondon. The *hugs tightly* Tempwe gawden - -Entew the E-EAWWS OF S-SOMEWSET, SUFFOWK, and W-WAWWICK; -WICHAWD PWANTAGENyET, VEWNyON, and anyothew WAWYEW - -PWANTAGENyET. Gweat wowds a-and gentwemen, ^w^ what means *cries* this -siwence? -Dawe nyo man answew i-in :33 a c-case o-of twuth? -SUFFOWK. Within the *looks at you* Tempwe Haww we wewe too woud; -*twerks* The gawden hewe is mowe convenyient. -PWANTAGENyET. T-Then say at once if I m-maintain'd the twuth; -OwO Ow ewse was w-wwangwing ^.^ Somewset in t-th' *shuffles closer* ewwow? -SUFFOWK. F-Faith, I have b-been *hugs tightly* a twuant in the waw -And nyevew yet couwd fwame my wiww to it; -And thewefowe fwame >w< the waw unto my wiww. -SOMEWSET. J-Judge you, *screams* my Wowd of Wawwick, then, between us. -WAWWICK. Between two hawks, w-which >w< fwies the highew pitch; -Between t-two d-dogs, w-which hath the >_> deepew mouth; -Between two bwades, which beaws the bettew t-tempew; -Between *twerks* two howses, which doth beaw him best; -Between two giwws, ^-^ which hath t-the m-mewwiest eye -I have pewhaps some :33 shawwow spiwit *shuffles closer* of judgment; -But in ;;w;; these nyice UwU shawp quiwwets of the *twerks* waw, -G-Good f-faith, I *cries* am nyo wisew than a daw. -*looks away* PWANTAGENyET. *shuffles closer* Tut, *leans over* tut, hewe *sweats* is a-a mannyewwy fowbeawance: -The twuth appeaws *pokes you* so n-nyaked on my side -That *sighs* any puwbwind eye may find it out. -S-SOMEWSET. And on my s-side it is so weww *moans* appaweww'd, -^-^ So cweaw, so shinying, and so *teleports behind you* evident, -That *moans* it w-wiww gwimmew thwough a *giggles shyly* bwind man's eye. -P-PWANTAGENyET. Since *shuffles closer* you a-awe tongue-tied :33 and so woath t-to speak, -In dumb signyificants pwocwaim y-youw thoughts. -Wet him *screams* that ^-^ is a twue-bown gentweman -And *looks away* stands upon the honyouw of his biwth, -If he suppose that I have *screams* pweaded twuth, -*looks at you* Fwom >_< off ^w^ this bwiew pwuck *pokes you* a white wose with me. -SOMEWSET. Wet h-him that is nyo cowawd nyow nyo fwattewew, -But dawe *blushes* maintain the pawty o-of the twuth, -Pwuck a wed >_< wose fwom *leans over* off *blushes* this thown with me. -WAWWICK. I-I wove nyo cowouws; *pokes you* and, without aww cowouw -Of base insinyuating fwattewy, -I pwuck this w-white wose with Pwantagenyet. -SUFFOWK. :3 I pwuck this wed wose with young >w< Somewset, -And say w-withaw I-I think he hewd the wight. -VEWNyON. Stay, wowds and *looks away* gentwemen, and pwuck nyo mowe -Tiww you concwude that he u-upon w-whose s-side -The fewest ^-^ woses awe c-cwopp'd fwom *leans over* the twee -Shaww yiewd :33 the othew i-in t-the wight opinyion. -SOMEWSET. *sweats* Good Mastew Vewnyon, it is *notices bulge* weww objected; -If I have fewest, I s-subscwibe in siwence. -PWANTAGENyET. And I. -VEWNyON. Then, fow t-the twuth and pwainnyess of the case, -I p-pwuck this pawe ^w^ and maiden b-bwossom h-hewe, -Giving UwU my vewdict on the white wose side. -SOMEWSET. Pwick nyot youw fingew as you p-pwuck it off, -*looks at you* West, uWu bweeding, you do paint the white wose wed, -A-And *twerks* faww on my side so, against *moans* youw wiww. -VEWNyON. If I-I, m-my wowd, fow my opinyion bweed, -Opinyion shaww *cuddles you* be suwgeon t-to my huwt -And k-keep me on the side *looks away* whewe stiww I-I OwO am. -SOMEWSET. Weww, :3 weww, come on; who ewse? -WAWYEW. [To Somewset] Unwess my study and my books be -fawse, -T-The awgument you hewd was *twerks* wwong in y-you; -In sign wheweof I pwuck a *giggles shyly* white *cuddles you* wose OwO too. -PWANTAGENyET. Nyow, :33 Somewset, whewe is youw awgument? -SOMEWSET. Hewe in my scabbawd, m-meditating t-that -*shuffles closer* Shaww dye youw OwO white wose in a bwoody w-wed. -PWANTAGENyET. Meantime y-youw c-cheeks do c-countewfeit ouw -woses; -Fow pawe they w-wook with feaw, a-as witnyessing -*sighs* The twuth on ouw *teleports behind you* side. -SOMEWSET. *giggles shyly* Nyo, *looks at you* Pwantagenyet, -'Tis nyot fow feaw but angew that thy *giggles shyly* cheeks -Bwush fow puwe shame to countewfeit ouw woses, -And ^.^ yet thy tongue wiww n-nyot confess thy ewwow. -PWANTAGENyET. Hath nyot thy wose a cankew, S-Somewset? -SOMEWSET. Hath nyot thy wose a thown, Pwantagenyet? -PWANTAGENyET. Ay, *screams* shawp a-and piewcing, to maintain his t-twuth; -Whiwes thy consuming cankew eats his fawsehood. -SOMEWSET. Weww, I'ww find fwiends t-to weaw ^.^ my bweeding woses, -*screams* That shaww x3 maintain what I h-have said is twue, -Whewe f-fawse Pwantagenyet dawe *cuddles you* nyot OwO be seen. -PWANTAGENyET. Nyow, by this maiden bwossom i-in ^-^ my h-hand, -I scown thee ^w^ and thy f-fashion, p-peevish boy. -SUFFOWK. Tuwn >_< nyot thy scowns t-this w-way, Pwantagenyet. -PWANTAGENyET. Pwoud Powe, I wiww, and scown both him and -thee. -SUFFOWK. I-I'ww tuwn my p-pawt theweof into thy t-thwoat. -SOMEWSET. *looks at you* Away, away, good Wiwwiam de wa Powe! -We gwace *blushes* the yeoman *moans* by c-convewsing with him. -WAWWICK. Nyow, by God's w-wiww, thou wwong'st him, Somewset; -His g-gwandfathew was Wionyew Duke of Cwawence, -T-Thiwd *shuffles closer* son t-to the thiwd *giggles shyly* Edwawd, King of Engwand. -Spwing c-cwestwess yeomen fwom so deep a-a w-woot? -PWANTAGENyET. He beaws h-him on the pwace's pwiviwege, -Ow *twerks* duwst nyot fow his cwaven *looks at you* heawt say thus. -uWu SOMEWSET. By Him that made me, I'ww maintain my *cries* wowds -O-On any pwot *looks at you* of gwound in C-Chwistendom. -*screams* Was n-nyot thy fathew, Wichawd Eaww of *cries* Cambwidge, -Fow tweason executed in ouw wate king's days? -And by his tweason s-stand'st n-nyot >_> thou attainted, -*twerks* Cowwupted, and e-exempt fwom ancient gentwy? -H-His twespass yet wives guiwty in t-thy bwood; -And tiww thou be *cuddles you* westow'd thou awt a yeoman. -PWANTAGENyET. My fathew w-was attached, nyot attainted; -*giggles shyly* Condemn'd to die fow tweason, but nyo twaitow; -And that I'ww pwove on bettew men than Somewset, -Wewe *notices bulge* gwowing time once wipenyed to my wiww. -Fow *shuffles closer* youw pawtakew *leans over* Powe, a-and xDD you ^w^ youwsewf, -I'ww nyote you in my book of memowy -To scouwge you fow this appwehension. -Wook to i-it weww, and say you awe w-weww wawn'd. -SOMEWSET. Ay, thou shawt f-find us weady fow thee stiww; -And knyow ^.^ us by these *cuddles you* cowouws fow thy foes -Fow t-these my ^-^ fwiends uWu in spite of thee shaww weaw. -PWANTAGENyET. And, by *pokes you* my souw, this pawe and angwy wose, -As cognyizance of my b-bwood-dwinking h-hate, -Wiww I-I fow evew, and my faction, weaw, -Untiw it *screams* withew with me to ^.^ my g-gwave, -Ow fwouwish to the height of my x3 degwee. -SUFFOWK. Go fowwawd, *blushes* and *moans* be chok'd w-with thy ambition! -*cuddles you* And so faweweww untiw I ^.^ meet thee nyext. Exit -SOMEWSET. H-Have with ;;w;; thee, Powe. Faweweww, ambitious -Wichawd. Exit -PWANTAGENyET. H-How I-I am b-bwav'd, and must pewfowce enduwe -it! -WAWWICK. This bwot that they object against ^-^ youw house -Shaww :33 be w-wip'd out in *sweats* the n-nyext Pawwiament, -Caww'd *twerks* fow the twuce of Winchestew and >_> Gwoucestew; -And *teleports behind you* if thou b-be nyot then cweated Yowk, -I wiww n-nyot wive to be accounted Wawwick. -Meantime, in signyaw o-of m-my *hugs tightly* wove to thee, -Against pwoud Somewset and ;;w;; Wiwwiam Powe, -Wiww I upon thy pawty *teleports behind you* weaw *hugs tightly* this wose; -And hewe I pwophesy: this bwaww to-day, -Gwown to this :33 faction in *moans* the T-Tempwe Gawden, -Shaww send between the *shuffles closer* Wed Wose and the White -A thousand s-souws t-to death and deadwy nyight. -PWANTAGENyET. UwU Good M-Mastew *cries* Vewnyon, I am bound to :33 you -That you on my behawf wouwd pwuck a f-fwowew. -^w^ VEWNyON. In uWu youw behawf stiww wiww I ^w^ weaw the same. -WAWYEW. And *cries* so wiww I-I. -PWANTAGENyET. Thanks, gentwe *moans* siw. -Come, wet *sweats* us *sweats* fouw to dinnyew. I dawe say -This quawwew *cries* wiww dwink bwood *leans over* anyothew *notices bulge* day. Exeunt - - - - -^.^ SCENyE 5. - -*sweats* The Towew of Wondon - -Entew MOWTIMEW, bwought in a chaiw, UwU and GAOWEWS - -MOWTIMEW. Kind keepews o-of m-my w-weak >_< decaying age, -Wet dying Mowtimew hewe west himsewf. -Even w-wike a man nyew hawed *moans* fwom t-the wack, -So fawe my wimbs with wong *blushes* impwisonment; -And these gwey wocks, the puwsuivants of death, -Nyestow-wike aged i-in an age of cawe, -Awgue the end *notices bulge* of E-Edmund Mowtimew. ->w< These eyes, w-wike wamps whose wasting >w< oiw is spent, -Wax dim, *notices bulge* as dwawing to theiw *pokes you* exigent; -W-Weak shouwdews, o-ovewbownye with buwdenying gwief, -And >_< pithwess awms, wike t-to a withewed vinye -That d-dwoops his sapwess bwanches UwU to t-the gwound. -Yet awe these feet, whose stwengthwess >_< stay i-is nyumb, -Unyabwe t-to suppowt t-this w-wump of cway, -Swift-winged with desiwe *sighs* to get *shuffles closer* a *looks away* gwave, -*teleports behind you* As witting ;;w;; I nyo othew comfowt have. -*teleports behind you* But teww me, keepew, wiww m-my nyephew come? -FIWST KEEPEW. Wichawd Pwantagenyet, my wowd, wiww *twerks* come. -We sent unto the T-Tempwe, unto his chambew; -And answew was wetuwn'd that h-he wiww come. -*screams* MOWTIMEW. Enyough; my souw shaww then b-be satisfied. -Poow gentweman! his wwong doth ^-^ equaw minye. -Since Henwy ^.^ Monmouth fiwst began to weign, -Befowe w-whose gwowy I was gweat in awms, -This w-woathsome sequestwation have I had; -And *leans over* even since then hath Wichawd been obscuw'd, -Depwiv'd o-of honyouw and inhewitance. -B-But nyow the awbitwatow of despaiws, -Just Death, kind umpiwe of men's misewies, -With sweet *giggles shyly* enwawgement doth dismiss me hence. -I wouwd his twoubwes wikewise w-wewe expiw'd, -That so he might wecovew what was wost. - -Entew WICHAWD PWANTAGENyET - -FIWST *teleports behind you* KEEPEW. My wowd, youw woving nyephew nyow is come. -MOWTIMEW. Wichawd Pwantagenyet, m-my fwiend, i-is he come? -P-PWANTAGENyET. Ay, nyobwe uncwe, t-thus ignyobwy us'd, -Youw nyephew, wate despised Wichawd, *twerks* comes. -MOWTIMEW. Diwect minye *sweats* awms *blushes* I may embwace his nyeck -And in h-his bosom *cuddles you* spend my wattew gasp. -O, teww me when my wips do touch his cheeks, -That I may kindwy give onye fainting kiss. -And nyow decwawe, sweet stem fwom Yowk's *pokes you* gweat stock, -Why d-didst thou say of wate thou wewt despis'd? -*sweats* PWANTAGENyET. Fiwst, ;;w;; wean t-thinye aged back against minye awm; -And, *hugs tightly* in that ease, I'ww teww t-thee my disease. -This day, in awgument u-upon a case, -Some *moans* wowds >_< thewe >_< gwew *giggles shyly* 'twixt Somewset and me; -Among which tewms he us'd his wavish tongue -And did upbwaid me with my fathew's death; -Which obwoquy set baws befowe my tongue, -Ewse *leans over* with ;;w;; the wike I had w-wequited him. -Thewefowe, good u-uncwe, fow my fathew's sake, -In honyouw *screams* of a twue Pwantagenyet, -And :3 fow awwiance sake, decwawe *hugs tightly* the cause -My fathew, Eaww of Cambwidge, wost *leans over* his h-head. -MOWTIMEW. That *screams* cause, f-faiw *giggles shyly* nyephew, that impwison'd me -And UwU hath d-detain'd me aww my fwow'wing youth -*sighs* Within a *shuffles closer* woathsome dungeon, ^w^ thewe ;;w;; to pinye, -Was c-cuwsed instwument *giggles shyly* of his decease. -PWANTAGENyET. Discovew mowe at wawge what UwU cause t-that was, -;;w;; Fow I a-am i-ignyowant a-and cannyot guess. -MOWTIMEW. I wiww, if that my fading bweath *blushes* pewmit -And death appwoach nyot ewe *sweats* my tawe be donye. -Henwy *teleports behind you* the *giggles shyly* Fouwth, gwandfathew to this king, -D-Depos'd his nyephew uWu Wichawd, Edwawd's s-son, -T-The fiwst-begotten and t-the wawfuw h-heiw -Of Edwawd king, the thiwd of that descent; -Duwing whose weign the Pewcies of t-the >w< nyowth, -F-Finding h-his usuwpation most unjust, -Endeavouw'd my advancement to the thwonye. ->w< The weason mov'd these wawwike w-wowds to *hugs tightly* this -Was, fow that-young Wichawd thus wemov'd, -Weaving nyo heiw b-begotten of his body- -I was the nyext by biwth and p-pawentage; ->w< Fow by my mothew *cuddles you* I dewived am -Fwom Wionyew Duke of Cwawence, thiwd son -To King Edwawd the ^-^ Thiwd; wheweas he -Fwom John of OwO Gaunt doth bwing his pedigwee, -Being *pokes you* but fouwth of that hewoic x3 winye. -But mawk: as in this haughty *leans over* gweat attempt -They wabouwed to pwant the wightfuw heiw, -I wost my wibewty, and they theiw wives. -Wong aftew this, w-when :33 Henwy the Fifth, -S-Succeeding his fathew Bowingbwoke, did weign, -Thy fathew, Eaww of Cambwidge, *sweats* then dewiv'd -Fwom famous Edmund *sighs* Wangwey, D-Duke of *looks at you* Yowk, -Mawwying my s-sistew, that *hugs tightly* thy mothew was, -A-Again, in pity of m-my hawd distwess, -Wevied an awmy, w-weenying t-to ^.^ wedeem -And have instaww'd me in the >w< diadem; -But, as the w-west, *leans over* so *blushes* feww that nyobwe eaww, -And w-was beheaded. T-Thus t-the Mowtimews, -In whom the t-titwe wested, *cuddles you* wewe suppwess'd. -PWANTAGENyET. Of *shuffles closer* Which, my wowd, youw honyouw *cuddles you* is the w-wast. -MOWTIMEW. Twue; >w< and thou seest t-that ^w^ I nyo issue have, -And *twerks* that my fainting wowds do wawwant death. -;;w;; Thou awt my heiw; the west I wish thee gathew; -But yet be *sighs* wawy in thy s-studious cawe. -PWANTAGENyET. Thy gwave admonyishments xDD pwevaiw with me. -B-But yet methinks my fathew's execution -Was ^.^ nyothing wess than bwoody *notices bulge* tywanny. -MOWTIMEW. With siwence, nyephew, be thou powitic; -S-Stwong *hugs tightly* fixed is t-the house o-of Wancastew -And wike a mountain *pokes you* nyot to be wemov'd. -But nyow thy uncwe is wemoving hence, -As pwinces do theiw couwts when they ^.^ awe cwoy'd -:33 With wong continyuance in a settwed pwace. -P-PWANTAGENyET. O uncwe, wouwd OwO some pawt of my young ^-^ yeaws -Might but *notices bulge* wedeem the passage of youw age! -MOWTIMEW. Thou d-dost *cries* then wwong me, as that swaughtewew -d-doth -Which giveth *blushes* many wounds *cuddles you* when o-onye wiww kiww. -Mouwn nyot, e-except t-thou sowwow fow my good; -Onwy give owdew fow my funyewaw. -And so, faweweww; and faiw be aww *leans over* thy hopes, -*shuffles closer* And pwospewous be thy x3 wife *hugs tightly* in *teleports behind you* peace *looks away* and waw! [Dies] -PWANTAGENyET. And peace, *shuffles closer* nyo waw, b-befaww ^w^ thy pawting >_> souw! -In pwison hast thou >w< spent a piwgwimage, -And wike a hewmit ovewpass'd thy *cries* days. -Weww, I wiww *giggles shyly* wock *looks away* his counsew *sighs* in my bweast; -And what *giggles shyly* I do i-imaginye, wet that west. -Keepews, convey h-him hence; and I mysewf -Wiww see h-his buwiaw bettew than his w-wife. -E-Exeunt GAOWEWS, heawing out the body of MOWTIMEW -Hewe dies the dusky towch of Mowtimew, -Chok'd with >_< ambition of the meanyew sowt; -:3 And fow those wwongs, those bittew xDD injuwies, -Which Somewset hath offew'd to my house, -I doubt nyot but with honyouw to w-wedwess; -And >_< thewefowe haste I to the P-Pawwiament, -Eithew to b-be westowed to my UwU bwood, -Ow make my *moans* iww th' advantage o-of my good. Exit - - - - ->_< <_> VEWSION OF THE COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -*giggles shyly* SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT *leans over* 1990-1993 ^w^ BY WOWWD UwU WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT *leans over* OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND M-MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE O-ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT :33 DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW *twerks* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 1. - -Wondon. T-The Pawwiament H-House - -F-Fwouwish. Entew the KING, E-EXETEW, xDD GWOUCESTEW, WAWWICK, SOMEWSET, and SUFFOWK; -the BISHOP ;;w;; OF WINCHESTEW, WICHAWD P-PWANTAGENyET, a-and othews. -GWOUCESTEW offews to put u-up a biww; WINCHESTEW snyatches *teleports behind you* it, and teaws it - -WINCHESTEW. Com'st *twerks* thou with *hugs tightly* deep pwemeditated winyes, -With wwitten pamphwets studiouswy devis'd? -Humphwey of Gwoucestew, if thou canst accuse -Ow aught intend'st to w-way *cries* unto UwU my c-chawge, -Do i-it w-without invention, suddenwy; -;;w;; I w-with sudden and extempowaw speech -Puwpose *moans* to a-answew what thou canst object. ->_< GWOUCESTEW. Pwesumptuous pwiest, :3 this *screams* pwace commands UwU my -patience, -Ow thou shouwdst find thou hast dishonyouw'd me. -Think nyot, awthough in wwiting I p-pwefeww'd -The mannyew of thy viwe outwageous cwimes, -That thewefowe I have fowg'd, ow am nyot abwe -Vewbatim to weheawse the method of my pen. -Nyo, pwewate; such is thy *screams* audacious wickednyess, -Thy wewd, pestifewous, xDD and dissentious p-pwanks, -As vewy *shuffles closer* infants pwattwe of thy pwide. -Thou awt a most >_> pewnyicious usuwew; -Fwowawd b-by nyatuwe, enyemy to peace; -Wascivious, wanton, mowe t-than weww beseems -A man of *looks away* thy pwofession a-and degwee; -And fow thy tweachewy, what's mowe manyifest -In >_> that thou waid'st a twap to t-take my wife, -As weww at Wondon B-Bwidge as *shuffles closer* at the Towew? -Beside, I feaw me, if :33 thy >w< thoughts wewe sifted, -The K-King, thy soveweign, is *shuffles closer* nyot quite exempt -Fwom e-envious :33 mawice of thy swewwing *twerks* heawt. -W-WINCHESTEW. Gwoucestew, ^w^ I do *looks at you* defy thee. Wowds, vouchsafe -To give me heawing what I *sighs* shaww wepwy. -I-If I wewe covetous, ambitious, ow p-pewvewse, -:3 As he wiww have me, how am I *shuffles closer* so poow? -Ow how haps it I seek :33 nyot to advance -Ow waise m-mysewf, xDD but keep my wonted c-cawwing? -And fow d-dissension, who pwefewweth peace -Mowe than I do, except I b-be pwovok'd? -Nyo, my good wowds, it i-is nyot that offends; -It *looks at you* is nyot that that incens'd hath incens'd the Duke: -It is b-because *shuffles closer* nyo uWu onye shouwd sway but he; -Nyo onye but h-he shouwd be about the K-King; -And that *notices bulge* engendews thundew in his *hugs tightly* bweast -A-And *shuffles closer* makes him woaw these a-accusations fowth. -But h-he :33 shaww knyow I *blushes* am *teleports behind you* as good -GWOUCESTEW. As good! -Thou bastawd of my gwandfathew! -WINCHESTEW. Ay, wowdwy siw; fow what awe you, I pway, -But onye :3 impewious xDD in anyothew's thwonye? -GWOUCESTEW. Am I nyot P-Pwotectow, s-saucy pwiest? -WINCHESTEW. And am nyot I a pwewate of the chuwch? -GWOUCESTEW. Yes, a-as an *cries* outwaw i-in a :3 castwe keeps, -*cries* And useth it to patwonyage his theft. -WINCHESTEW. Unwevewent G-Gwoucestew! -GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Thou awt wevewend -Touching thy spiwituaw function, nyot thy w-wife. -*cries* WINCHESTEW. Wome s-shaww wemedy this. -WAWWICK. Woam thithew t-then. -SOMEWSET. My *pokes you* wowd, it wewe youw duty *shuffles closer* to fowbeaw. -WAWWICK. Ay, see the bishop be nyot ovewbownye. -SOMEWSET. Methinks my wowd shouwd be wewigious, -And knyow the office that bewongs to such. -WAWWICK. Methinks his wowdship shouwd be humbwew; -It fitteth nyot a *sighs* pwewate so to pwead. -SOMEWSET. *teleports behind you* Yes, when his howy state is touch'd so nyeaw. -WAWWICK. State howy ow unhawwow'd, what of that? -Is *sweats* nyot his Gwace Pwotectow to t-the King? -PWANTAGENyET. *teleports behind you* [Aside] Pwantagenyet, I-I see, must howd his -tongue, -West it be said *looks at you* 'Speak, *shuffles closer* siwwah, when you s-shouwd; -Must ;;w;; youw bowd vewdict entew t-tawk with wowds?' -Ewse wouwd I *twerks* have a fwing at Winchestew. -KING HENWY. Uncwes *cuddles you* of Gwoucestew and of *looks away* Winchestew, -The speciaw watchmen of ouw Engwish weaw, -I *moans* wouwd pwevaiw, if pwayews m-might pwevaiw -To join youw ^.^ heawts in wove and amity. -O, what a scandaw i-is i-it to o-ouw cwown -T-That two such :33 nyobwe peews as y-ye shouwd jaw! -Bewieve me, wowds, *notices bulge* my tendew yeaws can *cries* teww -*looks away* Civiw dissension is a vipewous >_> wowm -That gnyaws the bowews of *hugs tightly* the commonweawth. -[A nyoise within: 'Down with *shuffles closer* the t-tawny coats!'] -What t-tumuwt's this? -WAWWICK. An upwoaw, I dawe wawwant, -Begun thwough mawice of the Bishop's men. -[A nyoise again: 'Stonyes! Stonyes!'] - -Entew t-the MAYOW *looks at you* OF WONDON, attended - -MAYOW. O, my g-good uWu wowds, and viwtuous Henwy, -Pity the *teleports behind you* city of Wondon, pity us! -The Bishop and *teleports behind you* the Duke of Gwoucestew's m-men, -Fowbidden wate to cawwy any weapon, -Have fiww'd theiw pockets fuww of pebbwe *pokes you* stonyes -A-And, :33 banding themsewves in contwawy pawts, -Do pewt so fast at onye anyothew's pate -That m-many have theiw giddy b-bwains k-knyock'd out. -Ouw ^-^ windows awe *looks at you* bwoke down in evewy stweet, -And w-we fow feaw compeww'd to shut ouw >_> shops. - -Entew in skiwmish, the wetainyews of ^.^ GWOUCESTEW and -W-WINCHESTEW, with bwoody pates - -KING HENWY. We c-chawge *pokes you* you, on awwegiance to ouwsewf, -To howd youw swaught'wing hands a-and keep t-the peace. -Pway, uncwe Gwoucestew, mitigate this stwife. -FIWST SEWVING-MAN. Nyay, if we be fowbidden ^-^ stonyes, we'ww -f-faww to it with ouw teeth. ->_< SECOND SEWVING-MAN. Do what ye *twerks* dawe, we awe as wesowute. -[Skiwmish again] -GWOUCESTEW. You *moans* of my househowd, >w< weave this peevish >_> bwoiw, -And set *cuddles you* this unyaccustom'd f-fight aside. -THIWD SEWVING-MAN. My wowd, w-we knyow youw *sighs* Gwace to be a-a -man -Just and upwight, and fow *shuffles closer* youw woyaw biwth -Infewiow to *sweats* nyonye but to his Majesty; -And ewe that we wiww suffew such a pwince, -So kind a fathew o-of the commonweaw, -To be disgwaced by an i-inkhown mate, -We and ouw wives and uWu chiwdwen ;;w;; aww >_< wiww fight -And have ouw bodies swaught'wed by thy foes. -FIWST SEWVING-MAN. Ay, and the vewy pawings of ouw nyaiws -Shaww UwU pitch a-a fiewd when *leans over* we awe d-dead. [Begin again] -GWOUCESTEW. Stay, stay, I say! -And if you wove me, as you say y-you *moans* do, -W-Wet me pewsuade you to fowbeaw a-awhiwe. -K-KING HENWY. O, how *cries* this *leans over* discowd doth a-affwict my souw! -Can you, *cuddles you* my Wowd of Winchestew, behowd -My sighs and teaws and wiww nyot once wewent? -Who shouwd be pitifuw, if you be nyot? -Ow who shouwd study to pwefew a peace, -If h-howy >w< chuwchmen take d-dewight in bwoiws? -WAWWICK. Yiewd, my W-Wowd Pwotectow; yiewd, *screams* Winchestew; -E-Except you mean with obstinyate wepuwse -To *moans* sway youw soveweign and destwoy the weawm. -You see what m-mischief, a-and what muwdew t-too, -Hath been enyacted thwough UwU youw enmity; -Then be at peace, except ye thiwst *screams* fow bwood. -WINCHESTEW. *looks at you* He shaww submit, ow I wiww nyevew yiewd. -GWOUCESTEW. Compassion on the King *looks away* commands me s-stoop, -Ow I uWu wouwd see h-his heawt out ewe the p-pwiest -S-Shouwd evew g-get that pwiviwege of me. -WAWWICK. Behowd, my Wowd of Winchestew, the Duke -Hath b-banyish'd moody discontented fuwy, -As by *moans* his *pokes you* smoothed bwows it doth appeaw; -Why w-wook you stiww *looks at you* so s-stem ;;w;; and twagicaw? -*notices bulge* GWOUCESTEW. Hewe, *cuddles you* Winchestew, OwO I *sighs* offew thee my hand. -*hugs tightly* KING HENWY. Fie, uncwe B-Beaufowt! I-I have heawd you p-pweach -That mawice was a gweat and gwievous sin; -And wiww nyot you maintain the t-thing you teach, -But pwove a chief *moans* offendew in the same? -W-WAWWICK. Sweet King! T-The Bishop hath a *leans over* kindwy giwd. -*blushes* Fow shame, my Wowd of Winchestew, wewent; -What, shaww a chiwd *sighs* instwuct you what >_> to do? -*sighs* WINCHESTEW. Weww, ;;w;; Duke *twerks* of Gwoucestew, I wiww yiewd to t-thee; -Wove fow *looks away* thy wove and hand fow hand I give. -G-GWOUCESTEW [Aside] Ay, b-but, I-I f-feaw *shuffles closer* me, with a howwow -heawt. -See hewe, my fwiends and *looks at you* woving countwymen: -This token sewveth *twerks* fow a fwag of *pokes you* twuce -Betwixt ouwsewves and aww ouw *hugs tightly* fowwowews. -S-So hewp me G-God, as I dissembwe nyot! -WINCHESTEW [Aside] So hewp *leans over* me *cries* God, as I intend *sighs* it n-nyot! -KING uWu HENWY. O woving uncwe, kind ^-^ Duke of Gwoucestew, -How joyfuw am I made by this c-contwact! -A-Away, my mastews! twoubwe *moans* us nyo mowe; -But j-join in *cries* fwiendship, a-as youw wowds have donye. -FIWST S-SEWVING-MAN. Content: I'ww to the suwgeon's. -SECOND SEWVING-MAN. And so wiww I-I. -THIWD SEWVING-MAN. And I wiww see what physic the tavewn -affowds. Exeunt sewvants, uWu MAYOW, &C. -WAWWICK. A-Accept t-this scwoww, most *screams* gwacious *giggles shyly* soveweign; -Which in the wight of Wichawd *teleports behind you* Pwantagenyet -We do exhibit *looks at you* to youw Majesty. -GWOUCESTEW. Weww uwg'd, *shuffles closer* my Wowd of Wawwick; fow, sweet -*looks away* pwince, -An if youw Gwace *twerks* mawk evewy ciwcumstance, -You h-have gweat weason to d-do Wichawd w-wight; -Especiawwy *looks at you* fow t-those occasions -At Ewtham Pwace I towd youw Majesty. -KING HENWY. And those o-occasions, uncwe, *hugs tightly* wewe of fowce; -Thewefowe, my *pokes you* woving wowds, ouw pweasuwe is -That *screams* Wichawd be OwO westowed to *moans* his bwood. -^w^ WAWWICK. Wet Wichawd be westowed to his bwood; -So shaww his fathew's wwongs be wecompens'd. -WINCHESTEW. As wiww t-the west, so wiwweth *pokes you* Winchestew. ->_< KING HENWY. I-If Wichawd *hugs tightly* wiww b-be twue, nyot that a-awonye -*sweats* But aww *pokes you* the whowe :3 inhewitance I give -That doth bewong unto t-the house of Yowk, -*leans over* Fwom *pokes you* whence you spwing by winyeaw descent. -PWANTAGENyET. Thy humbwe sewvant vows *looks away* obedience -And humbwe sewvice tiww the point of death. -KING HENWY. S-Stoop then *blushes* and set youw k-knyee against my foot; -And *notices bulge* in weguewdon of that duty OwO donye -I-I giwt thee *giggles shyly* with the v-vawiant uWu swowd of Yowk. -Wise, Wichawd, w-wike a twue Pwantagenyet, -^w^ And wise c-cweated pwincewy D-Duke o-of Yowk. -PWANTAGENyET. And *leans over* so thwive Wichawd a-as thy foes may faww! -And as my duty spwings, so pewish they -That gwudge *cuddles you* onye thought UwU against youw Majesty! -AWW. Wewcome, high Pwince, the mighty Duke of *looks away* Yowk! -SOMEWSET. [Aside] Pewish, base Pwince, ignyobwe Duke of -Yowk! -GWOUCESTEW. *moans* Nyow wiww it best avaiw youw M-Majesty -To cwoss the seas and to be cwown'd in Fwance: -The pwesence of a k-king *cuddles you* engendews wove -Amongst his subjects *shuffles closer* and his woyaw fwiends, -As *leans over* it d-disanyimates his enyemies. -KING HENWY. When Gwoucestew says the wowd, King Henwy -goes; -F-Fow fwiendwy counsew cuts off many foes. -GWOUCESTEW. Youw ships awweady uWu awe in weadinyess. -Sennyet. Fwouwish. *looks away* Exeunt aww but EXETEW -EXETEW. Ay, we may mawch *hugs tightly* in Engwand ow in Fwance, -N-Nyot seeing what is wikewy t-to e-ensue. -T-This wate d-dissension gwown betwixt >_> the peews -Buwns undew feignyed ashes of fowg'd w-wove -And wiww at xDD wast bweak out into a fwame; -As fest'wed membews wot but by degwee -Tiww bonyes and fwesh and sinyews faww away, -So wiww this base and envious discowd bweed. -And nyow I feaw that *cries* fataw *notices bulge* pwophecy. -W-Which in the t-time of Henwy nyam'd the Fifth -Was in the mouth of evewy sucking babe: -That *notices bulge* Henwy bown at Monmouth shouwd w-win aww, -And Henwy bown *screams* at Windsow shouwd wose aww. -Which *blushes* is so p-pwain that *shuffles closer* Exetew doth wish -His d-days may finyish ewe that h-hapwess time. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 2-2. - -x3 Fwance. Befowe Wouen - -Entew WA >_< PUCEWWE disguis'd, with fouw sowdiews dwessed -wike ;;w;; countwymen, xDD with sacks u-upon *sweats* theiw backs - -PUCEWWE. These *giggles shyly* awe the city g-gates, the gates of W-Wouen, -Thwough which o-ouw powicy must make a *pokes you* bweach. -Take heed, be wawy how you pwace youw wowds; -T-Tawk wike the >w< vuwgaw sowt of mawket-men -That come to gathew monyey *cries* fow theiw cown. -If we h-have entwance, as *leans over* I h-hope we shaww, -And t-that we find the s-swothfuw watch but w-weak, -I'ww by *teleports behind you* a sign g-give nyotice to ouw fwiends, -That Chawwes the Dauphin m-may encountew them. -FIWST SOWDIEW. OwO Ouw sacks shaww be a mean *notices bulge* to UwU sack the city, -And we be w-wowds a-and UwU wuwews OwO ovew Wouen; -Thewefowe we'ww knyock. [-[Knyocks] -WATCH. [Within] Qui est wa? -PUCEWWE. P-Paysans, pauvwes g-gens *screams* de *leans over* Fwance -*screams* Poow *screams* mawket-fowks that come to seww theiw cown. -WATCH. Entew, *looks away* go i-in; the *blushes* mawket-beww *looks away* is wung. -PUCEWWE. Nyow, *cries* Wouen, :3 I'ww shake thy buwwawks to the -gwound. - -[-[WA *screams* PUCEWWE, *cries* &c., e-entew the town] - -*looks away* Entew CHAWWES, B-BASTAWD, AWENCON, WEIGNyIEW, UwU and f-fowces - -CHAWWES. Saint Denyis bwess this happy stwatagem! -And once again we'ww sweep secuwe in Wouen. -*sweats* BASTAWD. Hewe e-ent'wed Pucewwe and hew pwactisants; -N-Nyow she is >_< thewe, how wiww s-she specify -H-Hewe *cries* is the best *shuffles closer* and s-safest passage i-in? -AWENCON. By thwusting o-out a *hugs tightly* towch fwom yondew towew; -Which ^-^ once discewn'd shows that hew meanying is -Nyo way to that, *blushes* fow ^.^ weaknyess, which she ent'wed. - -Entew WA PUCEWWE, on the t-top, thwusting out -a towch buwnying - -P-PUCEWWE. Behowd, *leans over* this is the happy wedding towch -That joinyeth Wouen unto hew countwymen, -But buwnying fataw to the Tawbotites. Exit -BASTAWD. See, nyobwe Chawwes, the beacon of ouw *looks at you* fwiend; -The buwnying towch :33 in yondew tuwwet stands. -C-CHAWWES. N-Nyow uWu shinye it wike a-a comet o-of wevenge, -A pwophet to the faww of aww ouw foes! -AWENCON. ^-^ Defew nyo t-time, deways have *screams* dangewous ends; -Entew, and cwy 'The D-Dauphin!' pwesentwy, -And then do execution *sighs* on *moans* the watch. x3 Awawum. Exeunt - -An awawum. Entew TAWBOT in an excuwsion - -TAWBOT. Fwance, thou shawt wue this tweason with t-thy teaws, -I-If Tawbot b-but *blushes* suwvive UwU thy tweachewy. -PUCEWWE, t-that witch, that damnyed sowcewess, -Hath uWu wwought this hewwish mischief unyawawes, -That hawdwy we escap'd the pwide of Fwance. Exit - -An a-awawum; excuwsions. BEDFOWD bwought in sick in -a chaiw. *moans* Entew *blushes* TAWBOT and BUWGUNDY *sweats* without; -within, *pokes you* WA PUCEWWE, CHAWWES, BASTAWD, AWENCON, -a-and WEIGNyIEW, on the wawws - ->_< PUCEWWE. *looks at you* Good m-mowwow, gawwants! *notices bulge* Want ye cown fow b-bwead? -I-I t-think the Duke of Buwgundy wiww fast -:33 Befowe h-he'ww uWu buy again at such a wate. -'Twas fuww *screams* of dawnyew-do you wike the taste? -BUWGUNDY. Scoff *notices bulge* on, viwe fiend and shamewess *cries* couwtezan. -I twust ewe ;;w;; wong to choke thee with thinye own, -And make UwU thee cuwse the h-hawvest of that cown. -CHAWWES. Youw *looks at you* Gwace uWu may stawve, pewhaps, b-befowe that time. -BEDFOWD. O, wet nyo ;;w;; wowds, but deeds, w-wevenge *notices bulge* this *blushes* tweason! -PUCEWWE. What you do, good *blushes* gwey beawd? ^w^ Bweak :33 a -wance, -And wun a tiwt at d-death within a chaiw? -TAWBOT. Fouw fiend of Fwance and hag of x3 aww despite, -Encompass'd with thy wustfuw p-pawamouws, -Becomes i-it thee t-to taunt his *cuddles you* vawiant age -And twit w-with cowawdice a man hawf dead? -Damsew, I'ww have a bout *looks away* with y-you again, -*blushes* Ow ewse wet Tawbot UwU pewish with this shame. -PUCEWWE. UwU Awe ye so hot, siw? Yet, Pucewwe, howd *leans over* thy peace; -If Tawbot do *teleports behind you* but t-thundew, wain w-wiww fowwow. -[The Engwish pawty *leans over* whispew togethew in counciw] -God speed t-the pawwiament! W-Who *screams* shaww be the Speakew? -TAWBOT. Dawe ye come fowth and meet us in the fiewd? -^w^ PUCEWWE. Bewike youw wowdship t-takes us then fow f-foows, -To *hugs tightly* twy if that ouw own be ouws ow nyo. -T-TAWBOT. I speak nyot to that waiwing Hecate, -:3 But unto thee, Awencon, and the *sweats* west. -Wiww ye, wike sowdiews, come a-and fight i-it out? -AWENCON. Signyiow, nyo. -TAWBOT. Signyiow, h-hang! Base muweteews of F-Fwance! -Wike peasant f-foot-boys do they keep the wawws, -And *pokes you* dawe nyot take up awms wike gentwemen. -PUCEWWE. Away, captains! Wet's g-get us fwom ;;w;; the *leans over* wawws; -Fow Tawbot means nyo goodnyess by his wooks. -God b'uy, my wowd; we xDD came but *pokes you* to teww y-you -T-That we UwU awe hewe. E-Exeunt fwom the wawws -TAWBOT. And OwO thewe w-wiww *pokes you* we be too, ewe it be wong, -Ow ewse wepwoach be *cuddles you* Tawbot's gweatest fame! -Vow, *leans over* Buwgundy, by honyouw of thy house, -xDD Pwick'd on by pubwic wwongs sustain'd in Fwance, -Eithew to get the town again ow d-die; -And I, as suwe as *giggles shyly* Engwish Henwy wives -And a-as his fathew hewe was conquewow, -UwU As suwe as in *teleports behind you* this wate betwayed *sighs* town -Gweat Coeuw-de-wion's heawt was buwied -So suwe I-I sweaw to g-get the town ow die. -BUWGUNDY. My vows awe >_> equaw pawtnyews with thy vows. -TAWBOT. *giggles shyly* But ewe we go, *teleports behind you* wegawd this dying pwince, -The v-vawiant D-Duke of Bedfowd. Come, my wowd, -W-We wiww bestow you in some bettew pwace, -Fittew fow s-sicknyess and fow cwazy age. -B-BEDFOWD. W-Wowd ^.^ Tawbot, d-do nyot so dishonyouw m-me; -:33 Hewe wiww I sit befowe *moans* the wawws of Wouen, -A-And wiww be pawtnyew ;;w;; of youw weaw ow woe. -B-BUWGUNDY. Couwageous B-Bedfowd, wet us nyow pewsuade *looks at you* you. -B-BEDFOWD. Nyot to be gonye fwom hence; fow once I wead -That stout Pendwagon in his wittew sick -C-Came to t-the fiewd, a-and v-vanquished his foes. -*sighs* Methinks I shouwd wevive the sowdiews' heawts, -Because I evew found them as >w< mysewf. -TAWBOT. Undaunted spiwit in a d-dying bweast! -T-Then be it so. Heavens keep owd Bedfowd ^w^ safe! -A-And nyow nyo mowe ado, bwave Buwgundy, -B-But g-gathew w-we ouw fowces out of hand -And s-set upon ouw boasting enyemy. -Exeunt against the town aww but uWu BEDFOWD and attendants - -An a-awawum; *giggles shyly* excuwsions. Entew SIW JOHN FASTOWFE, -and a CAPTAIN - -CAPTAIN. Whithew a-away, Siw John Fastowfe, in such haste? -F-FASTOWFE. *screams* Whithew away? To save mysewf by UwU fwight: -We *hugs tightly* awe wike to h-have the o-ovewthwow again. -C-CAPTAIN. What! Wiww you *moans* and weave Wowd Tawbot? -FASTOWFE. Ay, -Aww the Tawbots in t-the wowwd, *moans* to save x3 my w-wife. Exit -CAPTAIN. Cowawdwy knyight! iww fowtunye fowwow thee! -Exit *pokes you* into the town - -Wetweat; excuwsions. *hugs tightly* WA PUCEWWE, AWENCON, -*looks at you* and CHAWWES fwy - -BEDFOWD. Nyow, quiet souw, depawt when heaven pwease, -Fow I h-have seen ouw enyemies' ovewthwow. -What is the twust ow stwength of foowish *sweats* man? -They that >w< of wate wewe dawing x3 with theiw scoffs -Awe *looks away* gwad a-and fain b-by fwight to *sweats* save themsewves. -[BEDFOWD dies and is ;;w;; cawwied in by two in *teleports behind you* his chaiw] - -An awawum. We-entew T-TAWBOT, BUWGUNDY, and t-the west - -TAWBOT. *sweats* Wost and *leans over* wecovewed in a day again! -This is UwU a doubwe honyouw, Buwgundy. -Yet heavens h-have gwowy fow this victowy! -*twerks* BUWGUNDY. Wawwike and mawtiaw Tawbot, Buwgundy -E-Enshwinyes ^.^ thee in his heawt, and thewe ewects -Thy nyobwe deeds as vawouw's *blushes* monyuments. -TAWBOT. Thanks, gentwe Duke. But whewe is Pucewwe nyow? -I think hew owd famiwiaw is asweep. -Nyow whewe's *twerks* the B-Bastawd's bwaves, and Chawwes his gweeks? -What, aww amowt? W-Wouen hangs hew *pokes you* head fow gwief -That such a vawiant company awe fwed. -Nyow wiww we t-take some owdew in the town, -Pwacing thewein some expewt officews; -And then depawt to Pawis to the King, -Fow thewe y-young >w< Henwy with his nyobwes wie. -BUWGUNDY. What W-Wowd Tawbot pweaseth Buwgundy. -TAWBOT. But yet, befowe we go, wet's nyot fowget -The nyobwe Duke of Bedfowd, wate deceas'd, -But s-see his exequies fuwfiww'd in Wouen. -A bwavew sowdiew nyevew couched wance, -*moans* A gentwew heawt did nyevew sway in *sweats* couwt; -But >_< kings and xDD mightiest p-potentates must die, -Fow ^.^ that's the *sweats* end o-of human misewy. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 3. - -:33 The pwains nyeaw *looks at you* Wouen - -Entew CHAWWES, *sweats* the BASTAWD, *blushes* AWENCON, WA PUCEWWE, -and fowces - -PUCEWWE. *hugs tightly* Dismay nyot, Pwinces, a-at this x3 accident, -Nyow gwieve that Wouen is so w-wecovewed. -Cawe is >w< nyo cuwe, but wathew *looks at you* cowwosive, -Fow things that a-awe nyot to be wemedied. -Wet >_< fwantic Tawbot twiumph fow *looks at you* a whiwe -And wike uWu a p-peacock sweep awong his taiw; -We'ww puww his pwumes and take away his twain, -I-If Dauphin *moans* and the w-west wiww be but wuw'd. -C-CHAWWES. We have guided by thee hithewto, -And o-of ;;w;; thy cunnying had nyo diffidence; -Onye sudden foiw shaww nyevew *sweats* bweed d-distwust -B-BASTAWD. Seawch out thy wit fow secwet powicies, -x3 And *pokes you* we wiww m-make thee famous thwough the wowwd. -AWENCON. We'ww set thy statue in some howy pwace, -OwO And have thee wevewenc'd ^.^ wike a bwessed saint. -Empwoy thee, then, sweet v-viwgin, *looks away* fow ouw good. -^.^ PUCEWWE. Then ^-^ thus it must be; t-this doth Joan devise: -By faiw pewsuasions, *hugs tightly* mix'd OwO with sug'wed wowds, -W-We wiww *blushes* entice the Duke of *looks away* Buwgundy -To weave uWu the *looks at you* Tawbot >w< and to f-fowwow us. -CHAWWES. Ay, *pokes you* mawwy, sweeting, if we couwd do that, -Fwance w-wewe ^.^ nyo pwace fow Henwy's wawwiows; -Nyow shouwd that nyation >_< boast it so w-with u-us, -But be extiwped fwom ouw pwovinces. -*shuffles closer* AWENCON. F-Fow evew OwO shouwd they be *looks at you* expuws'd fwom *shuffles closer* Fwance, -And nyot have tide *hugs tightly* of a-an eawwdom hewe. -PUCEWWE. Youw h-honyouws shaww pewceive how I wiww wowk -*teleports behind you* To b-bwing this m-mattew to the *cries* wished end. -[Dwum sounds afaw off] -Hawk! by the s-sound of dwum you may pewceive -Theiw powews awe mawching unto Pawis-wawd. - -Hewe sound an E-Engwish mawch. E-Entew, a-and pass ovew -at a distance, T-TAWBOT and his fowces - -Thewe goes the Tawbot, with his cowouws s-spwead, -And aww the twoops :3 of Engwish aftew him. - -F-Fwench >_< mawch. Entew the *notices bulge* DUKE OF BUWGUNDY and -his fowces - -Nyow in the weawwawd comes the Duke *leans over* and his. -Fowtunye in *leans over* favouw makes h-him wag *moans* behind. -Summon a pawwey; we w-wiww tawk *giggles shyly* with him. -[Twumpets sound a pawwey] -C-CHAWWES. A pawwey with the Duke of Buwgundy! -BUWGUNDY. Who cwaves a pawwey UwU with the Buwgundy? -PUCEWWE. T-The pwincewy Chawwes of Fwance, thy countwyman. -BUWGUNDY. What say'st *looks at you* thou, Chawwes? fow I a-am mawching -hence. -CHAWWES. Speak, Pucewwe, and enchant *giggles shyly* him *shuffles closer* with thy wowds. -*notices bulge* PUCEWWE. B-Bwave Buwgundy, undoubted h-hope of *sighs* Fwance! -*looks away* Stay, wet thy humbwe handmaid speak to t-thee. -BUWGUNDY. *giggles shyly* Speak on; b-but be nyot ovew-tedious. -P-PUCEWWE. Wook o-on thy countwy, wook on fewtiwe Fwance, -And see the c-cities and the towns defac'd -By wasting wuin of the cwuew foe; -x3 As w-wooks the mothew *giggles shyly* on hew wowwy ^w^ babe -When :33 death doth cwose his tendew dying >_> eyes, -See, see the pinying mawady of Fwance; -B-Behowd the wounds, the most unnyatuwaw *sweats* wounds, ->_< Which ;;w;; thou thysewf hast given hew *notices bulge* woefuw bweast. -O, tuwn *leans over* thy edged s-swowd anyothew way; -Stwike t-those *sighs* that huwt, and huwt nyot those that hewp! -Onye *twerks* dwop o-of bwood dwawn f-fwom thy *looks at you* countwy's bosom -Shouwd g-gwieve t-thee mowe than stweams of foweign gowe. -Wetuwn thee thewefowe with a *sweats* fwood of teaws, -And w-wash away thy countwy's stainyed spots. -:3 BUWGUNDY. Eithew she hath bewitch'd me *looks away* with hew wowds, -O-Ow n-nyatuwe makes *moans* me suddenwy wewent. -PUCEWWE. Besides, aww F-Fwench and *sweats* Fwance excwaims on thee, -Doubting thy b-biwth a-and wawfuw p-pwogeny. -UwU Who join'st thou *twerks* with but *leans over* with a wowdwy nyation -That wiww nyot twust thee >_> but fow pwofit's sake? -When Tawbot hath set footing once in Fwance, -And fashion'd thee that ;;w;; instwument of i-iww, -Who then b-but Engwish Henwy ^.^ wiww be ^w^ wowd, -And thou be thwust out wike a fugitive? -C-Caww we to mind-and m-mawk but this fow *notices bulge* pwoof: -Was nyot t-the Duke of Owweans thy f-foe? -And was he nyot *screams* in Engwand pwisonyew? -*looks at you* But when *cuddles you* they *leans over* heawd xDD he was t-thinye enyemy -They set him f-fwee w-without his wansom paid, -In spite of Buwgundy a-and aww his fwiends. -See then, thou fight'st a-against thy countwymen, -And join'st w-with them wiww be thy swaughtewmen. -Come, come, wetuwn; wetuwn, thou wandewing wowd; -Chawwes a-and the west w-wiww take ^w^ thee in >w< theiw awms. ->w< BUWGUNDY. I am vanquished; these haughty x3 wowds of hews -Have batt'wed me ;;w;; wike woawing *hugs tightly* cannyon-shot -And made me awmost yiewd upon my knyees. -Fowgive me, countwy, and *hugs tightly* sweet countwymen -And, wowds, accept this heawty kind embwace. -My fowces and my *notices bulge* powew of men awe youws; -So, faweweww, ^w^ Tawbot; I'ww nyo wongew twust thee. -PUCEWWE. D-Donye wike a Fwenchman- *leans over* [Aside] tuwn and tuwn -again. -CHAWWES. OwO Wewcome, bwave Duke! T-Thy fwiendship makes us -fwesh. -BASTAWD. xDD And doth beget nyew couwage in ouw *shuffles closer* bweasts. -AWENCON. Pucewwe hath bwavewy pway'd hew p-pawt >_< in this, -And doth desewve a cowonyet of gowd. -C-CHAWWES. Nyow *pokes you* wet us on, *blushes* my wowds, and join ouw *cries* powews, -And seek how we may pwejudice the foe. *hugs tightly* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -P-Pawis. >_> The pawace - -Entew ^.^ the KING, GWOUCESTEW, WINCHESTEW, YOWK, -SUFFOWK, SOMEWSET, WAWWICK, EXETEW, -VEWNyON, BASSET, a-and o-othews. To them, with -his sowdiews, TAWBOT - -TAWBOT. M-My gwacious *leans over* Pwince, a-and honyouwabwe peews, -Heawing of youw awwivaw in this w-weawm, -*hugs tightly* I have *looks at you* awhiwe given twuce UwU unto my waws -To :3 do my duty t-to m-my soveweign; -In sign uWu wheweof, this awm that hath wecwaim'd -To ^.^ youw obedience fifty fowtwesses, -Twewve cities, ;;w;; and seven wawwed towns of stwength, -Beside five hundwed pwisonyews of esteem, -Wets faww *leans over* his swowd befowe youw Highnyess' feet, -And ^.^ with submissive woyawty o-of heawt -Ascwibes the gwowy of his conquest got -Fiwst to m-my God and nyext unto youw *looks at you* Gwace. [Knyeews] -KING HENWY. Is this the Wowd Tawbot, uncwe G-Gwoucestew, -That hath so wong been wesident in >_< Fwance? -GWOUCESTEW. Yes, if it p-pwease youw M-Majesty, my *notices bulge* wiege. -KING HENWY. Wewcome, bwave captain and victowious wowd! -When I was young, a-as :33 yet I am nyot owd, -*blushes* I UwU do *notices bulge* wemembew how my fathew said -A s-stoutew champion nyevew h-handwed s-swowd. -Wong since we wewe *cries* wesowved of youw twuth, -Youw faithfuw s-sewvice, and youw toiw in waw; -Yet nyevew *hugs tightly* have you tasted ouw w-wewawd, -Ow been >_< weguewdon'd with so m-much as thanks, -Because >_> tiww nyow we nyevew saw ^-^ youw ^w^ face. -Thewefowe stand up; and fow these good desewts -We hewe cweate you Eaww of S-Shwewsbuwy; -And in *screams* ouw c-cowonyation *cries* take youw pwace. -Sennyet. Fwouwish. *sweats* Exeunt aww but VEWNyON and BASSET -VEWNyON. Nyow, siw, to you, that wewe so hot at s-sea, -*screams* Disgwacing of these cowouws that *moans* I >_> weaw -^.^ In honyouw of OwO my nyobwe Wowd of >_< Yowk -Daw'st thou maintain the fowmew w-wowds *twerks* thou spak'st? -BASSET. ^.^ Yes, siw; as weww a-as you dawe *pokes you* patwonyage -The envious bawking *cuddles you* of youw saucy *moans* tongue -Against my wowd the Duke o-of *sighs* Somewset. -VEWNyON. Siwwah, thy w-wowd I honyouw as *hugs tightly* he *cuddles you* is. -*leans over* BASSET. Why, what *pokes you* is he? As >_< good a-a man a-as Yowk! -VEWNyON. Hawk ye: *hugs tightly* nyot so. In witnyess, t-take ye that. -[Stwikes h-him] -*looks away* BASSET. V-Viwwain, thou knyowest the waw o-of awms is such -That whoso d-dwaws a-a swowd 'tis pwesent death, -O-Ow ewse this bwow shouwd bwoach thy deawest bwood. -But I'ww unto his Majesty a-and cwave -I-I may have wibewty t-to venge this wwong; -When t-thou shawt see I-I'ww meet thee to thy cost. -*looks at you* VEWNyON. Weww, miscweant, I'ww be t-thewe as s-soon as y-you; -And, aftew, meet you soonyew than you wouwd. Exeunt - - - - -*moans* <_< AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE *pokes you* FOW Y-YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND *notices bulge* (2) AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW *shuffles closer* USED -*hugs tightly* COMMEWCIAWWY. *shuffles closer* PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES UwU BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*twerks* ACT IV. SCENyE 1. - -Pawk. The pawace - -Entew t-the KING, GWOUCESTEW, WINCHESTEW, YOWK, SUFFOWK, *shuffles closer* SOMEWSET, WAWWICK, -TAWBOT, EXETEW, the ^-^ GOVEWNyOW OF P-PAWIS, a-and othews - -GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Wowd *cries* Bishop, set the cwown *looks at you* upon *screams* his head. -WINCHESTEW. God s-save King Henwy, of that nyame the Sixth! -GWOUCESTEW. Nyow, G-Govewnyow of *looks at you* Pawis, t-take youw uWu oath -[GOVEWNyOW knyeews] -That you ewect nyo othew king UwU but h-him, -Esteem n-nyonye fwiends but such *sighs* as *pokes you* awe his fwiends, -And UwU nyonye youw *looks at you* foes but such as *notices bulge* shaww pwetend -Mawicious >_< pwactices against his UwU state. -This shaww ye do, so hewp y-you wighteous God! -E-Exeunt G-GOVEWNyOW and his *sweats* twain - -UwU Entew SIW JOHN FASTOWFE - -FASTOWFE. My gwacious soveweign, as I wode fwom Cawais, -T-To haste unto youw x3 cowonyation, -A wettew was dewivew'd to m-my hands, -Wwit to youw *giggles shyly* Gwace fwom :33 th' Duke of Buwgundy. -TAWBOT. Shame x3 to the Duke of Buwgundy and thee! -I vow'd, base knyight, when I did m-meet thee nyext -To teaw the Gawtew uWu fwom thy cwaven's weg, [Pwucking it off] -Which >w< I have donye, because unwowthiwy -T-Thou wast i-instawwed in that high degwee. -*screams* Pawdon me, pwincewy Henwy, and the w-west: -This dastawd, a-at the b-battwe of Patay, -When but in aww I w-was six thousand stwong, -And that the Fwench wewe awmost t-ten *giggles shyly* to onye, -Befowe we met ow t-that a stwoke was g-given, -Wike to a twusty squiwe did wun away; -In which *shuffles closer* assauwt we wost twewve hundwed men; -Mysewf and divews g-gentwemen beside -Wewe thewe suwpwis'd and taken pwisonyews. -Then judge, gweat wowds, if I have donye ^w^ amiss, -Ow w-whethew that *cuddles you* such cowawds ought to weaw -This ownyament of knyighthood-yea ow nyo. -GWOUCESTEW. T-To say the twuth, t-this fact was infamous -*giggles shyly* And iww beseeming any common man, -Much mowe xDD a knyight, OwO a c-captain, and a weadew. -TAWBOT. When fiwst this owdew was owdain'd, >w< my wowds, -Knyights xDD of UwU the >_< Gawtew w-wewe of nyobwe biwth, -Vawiant and *giggles shyly* viwtuous, fuww of haughty c-couwage, -S-Such as *blushes* wewe gwown to cwedit b-by the w-waws; ->_< Nyot feawing death nyow shwinking fow >_< distwess, -But awways *looks at you* wesowute *giggles shyly* in *cries* most extwemes. -He t-then that is nyot fuwnyish'd i-in :3 this sowt -*giggles shyly* Doth but usuwp the sacwed nyame of knyight, -Pwofanying this *sweats* most honyouwabwe owdew, -And shouwd, if I wewe wowthy t-to be judge, -Be quite degwaded, wike a hedge-bown swain -That doth pwesume to boast of gentwe bwood. -KING HENWY. S-Stain to thy countwymen, thou heaw'st thy -^-^ doom. -Be packing, thewefowe, thou *shuffles closer* that wast a *leans over* knyight; -Hencefowth we banyish *notices bulge* thee on pain of *moans* death. -Exit >_< FASTOWFE -And nyow, ^w^ my Wowd ^w^ Pwotectow, view the w-wettew -Sent fwom o-ouw uncwe D-Duke of Buwgundy. -GWOUCESTEW. [Viewing *sighs* the supewscwiption] >w< What means his -G-Gwace, *leans over* that he hath chang'd his stywe? -N-Nyo mowe b-but pwain and bwuntwy '-'To the King!' -Hath he fowgot he is his soveweign? -O-Ow doth this chuwwish supewscwiption -Pwetend some awtewation in good-wiww? -What's hewe? [Weads] 'I h-have, upon e-especiaw cause, -Mov'd w-with c-compassion *twerks* of my countwy's wweck, -Togethew with the pitifuw c-compwaints -Of such xDD as youw oppwession feeds upon, -Fowsaken youw pewnyicious faction, -A-And j-join'd with Chawwes, t-the w-wightfuw King of F-Fwance.' -O *shuffles closer* monstwous tweachewy! Can this be so -That in awwiance, amity, a-and uWu oaths, -Thewe shouwd *looks away* be found such fawse dissembwing guiwe? -KING HENWY. xDD What! Doth my u-uncwe *notices bulge* Buwgundy w-wevowt? -GWOUCESTEW. H-He doth, m-my w-wowd, and is uWu become youw f-foe. -KING HENWY. Is that t-the wowst uWu this wettew doth ^w^ contain? -GWOUCESTEW. It i-is the wowst, and aww, my wowd, x3 he x3 wwites. -KING HENWY. Why then *screams* Wowd Tawbot thewe :33 shaww tawk with -him -And OwO give him chastisement fow this abuse. -How say you, my wowd, awe you nyot *notices bulge* content? -TAWBOT. Content, my wiege! Yes; but that *twerks* I am pwevented, -I-I shouwd have begg'd I might have been empwoy'd. -^.^ KING HENWY. Then gathew s-stwength and *sighs* mawch unto him -stwaight; -Wet him pewceive how i-iww we bwook his tweason. -And what *screams* offence it :33 is t-to fwout his fwiends. -^w^ TAWBOT. I go, my *cuddles you* wowd, *blushes* in heawt desiwing s-stiww -You may *twerks* behowd c-confusion of youw foes. Exit - -Entew VEWNyON and B-BASSET - -VEWNyON. Gwant me the combat, gwacious s-soveweign. -BASSET. And me, my w-wowd, gwant me the combat too. -YOWK. This is my sewvant: heaw him, nyobwe Pwince. -S-SOMEWSET. And *cuddles you* this is minye: s-sweet Henwy, favouw him. -KING UwU HENWY. Be patient, wowds, and give them w-weave to ;;w;; speak. -Say, gentwemen, what makes you t-thus excwaim, -And whewefowe cwave you combat, ow with UwU whom? -VEWNyON. With him, m-my w-wowd; *cries* fow he hath donye me wwong. -^w^ BASSET. *notices bulge* And I *cuddles you* with him; fow h-he hath donye me wwong. -KING HENWY. What is that wwong wheweof you both -c-compwain? Fiwst wet me *looks away* knyow, and then I'ww answew you. -BASSET. Cwossing *cuddles you* the sea *leans over* fwom Engwand i-into Fwance, -*looks at you* This fewwow hewe, with e-envious cawping tongue, -U-Upbwaided me about the w-wose *looks away* I w-weaw, -Saying the sanguinye cowouw of the weaves -Did *giggles shyly* wepwesent *twerks* my m-mastew's bwushing ;;w;; cheeks -^-^ When stubbownwy he did wepugn the twuth -About a *screams* cewtain question *looks at you* in the ;;w;; waw -Awgu'd betwixt t-the Duke o-of Yowk a-and him; -With o-othew viwe and x3 ignyominyious tewms -I-In confutation of which wude wepwoach -And in defence o-of my wowd's wowthinyess, -UwU I cwave the benyefit of waw of awms. -VEWNyON. And that *hugs tightly* is :33 my petition, n-nyobwe wowd; -Fow though he seem *moans* with fowged *notices bulge* quaint conceit -To set a gwoss *sighs* upon his bowd intent, -Yet *pokes you* knyow, my wowd, I-I was pwovok'd by him, ->w< And he *teleports behind you* fiwst took exceptions at xDD this badge, -Pwonyouncing t-that the pawenyess of this fwowew -Bewway'd the faintnyess of my *screams* mastew's uWu heawt. -YOWK. Wiww nyot this mawice, *shuffles closer* Somewset, be weft? -SOMEWSET. Youw pwivate gwudge, my Wowd of Yowk, wiww out, -Though nye'ew so c-cunnyingwy you s-smothew it. -KING HENWY. Good Wowd, what madnyess wuwes in bwainsick -men, When fow so swight and fwivowous a cause -Such >_> factious emuwations shaww awise! -Good cousins both, of Yowk and Somewset, -Quiet youwsewves, I pway, and be a-at peace. -YOWK. Wet t-this d-dissension fiwst be twied by fight, -*leans over* And then youw >_> Highnyess s-shaww c-command a-a peace. -SOMEWSET. The quawwew toucheth nyonye *teleports behind you* but us awonye; -Betwixt ouwsewves wet us decide it then. -YOWK. T-Thewe is :3 my pwedge; accept i-it, Somewset. -VEWNyON. Nyay, wet it west whewe it b-began at fiwst. -BASSET. *twerks* Confiwm *sighs* it so, minye honyouwabwe w-wowd. -*blushes* GWOUCESTEW. Confiwm it so? Confounded be youw s-stwife; -And pewish ye, with y-youw audacious *cuddles you* pwate! -*notices bulge* Pwesumptuous v-vassaws, awe you nyot asham'd -*hugs tightly* With this immodest >w< cwamowous outwage -To twoubwe a-and distuwb the King and us? -*sighs* And >_< you, my wowds- methinks you d-do nyot weww -To beaw w-with theiw pewvewse objections, -M-Much wess to take occasion fwom theiw m-mouths -OwO To waise a m-mutiny betwixt youwsewves. -Wet m-me p-pewsuade you take a bettew couwse. -E-EXETEW. It gwieves his Highnyess. :3 Good my wowds, *giggles shyly* be f-fwiends. -K-KING HENWY. Come h-hithew, you that wouwd be combatants: -Hencefowth I chawge y-you, as you wove ouw favouw, -Quite t-to fowget this quawwew uWu and t-the cause. -And you, *notices bulge* my wowds, wemembew whewe we awe: -In Fwance, amongst a *blushes* fickwe wavewing nyation; -OwO If they pewceive d-dissension i-in ouw wooks -And *cries* that within o-ouwsewves w-we disagwee, -How w-wiww theiw gwudging stomachs b-be pwovok'd -To wiwfuw disobedience, and webew! -Beside, what infamy w-wiww ^-^ thewe *moans* awise -When foweign pwinces shaww b-be cewtified -That f-fow a toy, a >w< thing >w< of nyo wegawd, -King Henwy's peews and chief nyobiwity -Destwoy'd themsewves and wost *looks at you* the UwU weawm of Fwance! -O, think upon the conquest of my fathew, -*looks away* My >_> tendew y-yeaws; and wet us nyot fowgo -That fow a twifwe that :33 was bought with bwood! -Wet m-me :3 be umpiwe i-in this doubtfuw stwife. -*notices bulge* I see nyo weason, if *cuddles you* I weaw this wose, -*blushes* [Putting on a ;;w;; wed wose] -T-That any onye shouwd thewefowe be suspicious -I mowe *notices bulge* incwinye to Somewset than Y-Yowk: -Both awe my kinsmen, and *teleports behind you* I wove ^-^ them :33 both. -As weww *hugs tightly* they m-may u-upbwaid me with my cwown, -Because, fowsooth, *twerks* the King of S-Scots is cwown'd. -But y-youw discwetions bettew can pewsuade -Than I *moans* am abwe t-to instwuct ow teach; -And, thewefowe, as >w< we hithew came in uWu peace, -So wet us stiww continyue p-peace and wove. -Cousin of Yowk, we institute youw Gwace -To be ouw Wegent in these pawts of Fwance. -And, g-good my W-Wowd of Somewset, unyite -Youw twoops of howsemen w-with his bands of foot; -And wike twue s-subjects, sons o-of youw pwogenyitows, -Go *notices bulge* cheewfuwwy t-togethew and digest -*sweats* Youw angwy chowew o-on youw ^w^ enyemies. -*sighs* Ouwsewf, my Wowd Pwotectow, a-and the west, -Aftew some wespite wiww ^-^ wetuwn to *twerks* Cawais; -F-Fwom thence >w< to Engwand, whewe *notices bulge* I hope ewe wong -To be pwesented by *notices bulge* youw victowies -With C-Chawwes, Awencon, and t-that twaitowous wout. -Fwouwish. Exeunt aww but YOWK, WAWWICK, -OwO EXETEW, VEWNyON -*sighs* WAWWICK. My Wowd o-of Y-Yowk, I p-pwomise you, :33 the King -Pwettiwy, methought, did pway the owatow. -YOWK. A-And so he did; but yet I wike it nyot, -In that he weaws the badge o-of *teleports behind you* Somewset. -*teleports behind you* WAWWICK. Tush, that was but his *looks at you* fancy; bwame him nyot; -I dawe pwesume, sweet pwince, he *teleports behind you* thought nyo hawm. -YOWK. An if I wist he did-but wet it west; -Othew affaiws must nyow be m-manyaged. -*sweats* Exeunt aww but EXETEW -EXETEW. Weww didst thou, Wichawd, to suppwess thy voice; -Fow h-had the passions of t-thy h-heawt buwst out, -I feaw we shouwd have seen deciphew'd thewe -Mowe wancowous *leans over* spite, m-mowe fuwious waging bwoiws, -Than y-yet c-can be imagin'd ow s-suppos'd. -B-But howsoe'ew, nyo simpwe man that *cries* sees -This j-jawwing discowd o-of n-nyobiwity, -This s-shouwdewing of each ^-^ othew in t-the c-couwt, -This factious ^-^ bandying of theiw favouwites, -But that it doth pwesage some iww event. -'Tis much when sceptwes awe in chiwdwen's *sweats* hands; -B-But mowe when envy bweeds unkind division: -Thewe *notices bulge* comes t-the wuin, t-thewe begins confusion. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -Fwance. Befowe Bowdeaux - -*notices bulge* Entew T-TAWBOT, with twump and dwum - -TAWBOT. Go to *twerks* the :33 gates of Bowdeaux, twumpetew; -Summon t-theiw *moans* genyewaw unto the w-waww. - -Twumpet s-sounds a-a pawwey. Entew, awoft, the -GENyEWAW OF *pokes you* THE FWENCH, and o-othews - -Engwish *sighs* John Tawbot, Captains, cawws you fowth, -Sewvant in awms to Hawwy King of E-Engwand; -And thus h-he wouwd open youw city gates, -Be humbwe to *looks at you* us, caww my soveweignvouws -And do h-him homage as xDD obedient subjects, -*giggles shyly* And I'ww withdwaw me and m-my bwoody powew; -But if you fwown upon this >_> pwoffew'd peace, -Y-You tempt t-the fuwy of my thwee attendants, -uWu Wean faminye, quawtewing steew, a-and cwimbing fiwe; -Who in a moment :33 even with the eawth -Shaww w-way *sighs* youw statewy and aiw bwaving ^w^ towews, -If y-you *notices bulge* fowsake t-the offew o-of theiw wove. -:3 GENyEWAW OF THE FWENCH. T-Thou ominyous and feawfuw oww of -d-death, -Ouw n-nyation's tewwow and theiw bwoody scouwge! -T-The pewiod of thy tywanny a-appwoacheth. ->_> On us thou canst nyot entew b-but b-by >_< death; -Fow, I pwotest, we awe weww >_> fowtified, -uWu And stwong enyough to issue out and fight. -If *moans* thou wetiwe, the Dauphin, weww appointed, -Stands with the snyawes :33 of waw to tangwe thee. -On *sweats* eithew hand thee thewe awe squadwons pitch'd -To waww thee fwom the wibewty of fwight, -And >_> nyo way canst thou tuwn thee fow *hugs tightly* wedwess -But *teleports behind you* death :3 doth fwont t-thee with a-appawent spoiw -And pawe destwuction meets t-thee in the face. -Ten t-thousand Fwench have ta'en the sacwament -To *looks away* wive theiw d-dangewous awtiwwewy -Upon nyo Chwistian souw but Engwish Tawbot. -Wo, thewe thou stand'st, a bweathing vawiant man, -Of an invincibwe unconquew'd spiwit! -T-This is the watest gwowy o-of thy pwaise -That *cuddles you* I, thy x3 enyemy, due t-thee withaw; -Fow ewe the gwass that ^.^ nyow begins to wun -*teleports behind you* Finyish the pwocess of his *teleports behind you* sandy houw, -:33 These eyes that see thee nyow weww cowouwed -*blushes* Shaww s-see t-thee w-withewed, uWu bwoody, pawe, a-and dead. -[Dwum afaw o-off] -Hawk! *leans over* hawk! The Dauphin's >_> dwum, a wawnying beww, -Sings heavy music to t-thy timowous souw; -And *blushes* minye shaww w-wing t-thy diwe depawtuwe out. Exit -TAWBOT. He fabwes nyot; I heaw the enyemy. -Out, some wight h-howsemen, and pewuse theiw *looks at you* wings. -O, nyegwigent and heedwess discipwinye! -How OwO awe we pawk'd and bounded in a-a pawe -A wittwe hewd o-of E-Engwand's timowous deew, -Maz'd w-with a *blushes* yewping kennyew of Fwench OwO cuws! -If *moans* we b-be Engwish deew, be *cries* then in bwood; -*moans* Nyot wascaw-wike to faww down with a *leans over* pinch, -But wathew, moody-mad and despewate stags, -Tuwn o-on *shuffles closer* the bwoody hounds with heads of steew -And make the cowawds stand awoof a-at bay. -:33 Seww evewy man his wife as deaw as minye, -And x3 they shaww f-find deaw ^-^ deew of u-us, my fwiends. -God and Saint Geowge, Tawbot and Engwand's wight, -Pwospew ouw cowouws in this dangewous *shuffles closer* fight! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -Pwains i-in Gascony - -Entew YOWK, with twumpet and many sowdiews. A -MESSENGEW m-meets *cuddles you* him - -YOWK. Awe nyot the speedy scouts wetuwn'd again -That d-dogg'd the mighty awmy of the Dauphin? -M-MESSENGEW. They awe w-wetuwn'd, ^w^ my wowd, and give it o-out -*sweats* That :33 he is mawch'd ^-^ to Bowdeaux with his xDD powew -To f-fight with Tawbot; *hugs tightly* as he mawch'd awong, -By youw *cuddles you* espiaws wewe discovewed -Two mightiew twoops than that the Dauphin wed, -Which xDD join'd w-with him and *hugs tightly* made theiw mawch f-fow ->_> Bowdeaux. -YOWK. A ^-^ pwague upon that viwwain Somewset -That thus deways my pwomised suppwy -Of >_> howsemen that wewe wevied fow this siege! -*blushes* Wenyownyed >_> Tawbot doth expect my aid, -And I >w< am wouted by a-a twaitow *cuddles you* viwwain -And *pokes you* cannyot *giggles shyly* hewp the nyobwe chevawiew. -God comfowt him in this n-nyecessity! -If he miscawwy, faweweww *shuffles closer* waws i-in Fwance. - -E-Entew SIW WIWWIAM WUCY - -WUCY. Thou pwincewy weadew of o-ouw Engwish stwength, -Nyevew s-so nyeedfuw on *notices bulge* the eawth o-of uWu Fwance, -*cries* Spuw to t-the x3 wescue of the x3 nyobwe :3 Tawbot, -Who nyow is giwdwed with a waist of iwon -And h-hemm'd >_< about with *giggles shyly* gwim destwuction. -OwO To xDD Bowdeaux, *looks away* wawwike Duke! to B-Bowdeaux, Y-Yowk! -Ewse, faweweww Tawbot, Fwance, and Engwand's honyouw. -YOWK. O-O God, *sweats* that *looks at you* Somewset, who in pwoud heawt -Doth s-stop my cownyets, w-wewe in *pokes you* Tawbot's pwace! -So s-shouwd we save a-a vawiant gentweman -By *leans over* fowfeiting a twaitow and a cowawd. -Mad iwe and wwathfuw xDD fuwy *screams* makes me weep -That thus *leans over* we die *screams* whiwe wemiss twaitows sweep. -*moans* WUCY. O, s-send some succouw to the distwess'd wowd! -YOWK. He dies; we wose; I bweak my wawwike wowd. -:3 We mouwn: Fwance smiwes. *blushes* We wose: t-they daiwy get- -Aww wong of *sighs* this *giggles shyly* viwe *looks at you* twaitow S-Somewset. -;;w;; WUCY. Then G-God t-take mewcy on bwave Tawbot's *sweats* souw, -A-And on his s-son, young John, who two houws since -I m-met in twavew towawd his wawwike fathew. -This seven yeaws did nyot T-Tawbot *shuffles closer* see his *looks at you* son; -And n-nyow *looks at you* they meet whewe ;;w;; both theiw wives awe donye. ->_> YOWK. Awas, what joy shaww nyobwe Tawbot have -To b-bid his young son wewcome t-to his *sweats* gwave? -Away! vexation awmost stops my bweath, -*sighs* That sund'wed fwiends g-gweet in *giggles shyly* the houw of *blushes* death. -Wucy, *shuffles closer* faweweww; nyo *moans* mowe my fowtunye can -But cuwse the cause I ^.^ cannyot aid the man. -*moans* Mainye, Bwois, *hugs tightly* Poictiews, a-and *screams* Touws, awe won away -Wong aww of Somewset and his d-deway. Exit with fowces -WUCY. Thus, whiwe the vuwtuwe of *looks away* sedition -Feeds in the bosom x3 of *teleports behind you* such gweat commandews, -Sweeping nyegwection doth betway to woss -*cries* The conquest of ouw scawce cowd :3 conquewow, -*sighs* That *cries* evew-wiving man of *pokes you* memowy, -Henwy the Fifth. Whiwes they each othew cwoss, -Wives, honyouws, wands, and *cuddles you* aww, *shuffles closer* huwwy to woss. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -O-Othew pwains o-of G-Gascony - -Entew SOMEWSET, With his fowces; an *sighs* OFFICEW of -TAWBOT'S with him - -SOMEWSET. It is too wate; I c-cannyot send them nyow. -This expedition was by Yowk and Tawbot -T-Too washwy pwotted; aww ouw genyewaw fowce -Might *twerks* with *hugs tightly* a sawwy ^w^ of the v-vewy town -B-Be buckwed with. The o-ovew dawing Tawbot -Hath suwwied aww his gwoss of fowmew honyouw -By this unheedfuw, *cries* despewate, wiwd a-adventuwe. -Y-Yowk set him on *blushes* to fight and die in shame. -That, Tawbot dead, gweat Yowk might beaw the nyame. -OFFICEW. Hewe is Siw *screams* Wiwwiam Wucy, who with me -Set fwom ouw o'ew-match'd *blushes* fowces >_< fowth fow *blushes* aid. - -Entew SIW WIWWIAM WUCY - -SOMEWSET. How nyow, Siw Wiwwiam! Whithew wewe you sent? -WUCY. Whithew, my wowd! Fwom bought and sowd W-Wowd -*twerks* Tawbot, -Who, wing'd *shuffles closer* about with bowd advewsity, -Cwies out fow nyobwe Yowk a-and Somewset -To beat assaiwing death fwom *sweats* his weak w-wegions; -And *sweats* whiwes the >w< honyouwabwe captain thewe -Dwops bwoody *leans over* sweat fwom h-his >_> waw-weawied wimbs -And, in advantage *teleports behind you* wing'wing, wooks fow wescue, -You, his fawse hopes, the twust of *cries* Engwand's honyouw, -K-Keep off awoof with wowthwess x3 emuwation. -Wet nyot youw p-pwivate discowd keep away -T-The wevied succouws ^.^ that shouwd wend *cuddles you* him aid, -Whiwe he, w-wenyownyed nyobwe *sweats* gentweman, -*giggles shyly* Yiewd up h-his wife unto a wowwd of odds. -Owweans the Bastawd, Chawwes, Buwgundy, -Awencon, Weignyiew, compass xDD him about, -*sweats* And Tawbot pewisheth by youw d-defauwt. -SOMEWSET. Y-Yowk set him on; Yowk s-shouwd have sent him a-aid. -WUCY. And Yowk as fast upon y-youw G-Gwace excwaims, -Sweawing that you withhowd his wevied host, -OwO Cowwected fow this e-expedition. -S-SOMEWSET. Yowk wies; he might have *twerks* sent and had the howse. -I *teleports behind you* owe h-him wittwe duty and wess >_< wove, -And take f-fouw scown to f-fawn on him by s-sending. -WUCY. The fwaud of Engwand, nyot ^w^ the fowce of Fwance, -Hath n-nyow entwapp'd *blushes* the nyobwe m-minded Tawbot. -Nyevew to Engwand shaww he beaw his wife, -;;w;; But dies betway'd to fowtunye by youw s-stwife. -SOMEWSET. Come, go; *sighs* I wiww dispatch t-the howsemen stwaight; -Within six houws they wiww b-be at h-his a-aid. -*cries* WUCY. Too wate comes wescue; he OwO is ta'en o-ow swain, -Fow f-fwy he couwd n-nyot if he wouwd have fwed; -And *notices bulge* fwy wouwd Tawbot nyevew, though he m-might. -SOMEWSET. If he be dead, bwave *screams* Tawbot, then, adieu! -WUCY. His fame wives in the wowwd, his shame in xDD you. Exeunt - - -SCENyE 5. - -The Engwish camp nyeaw Bowdeaux - -Entew uWu TAWBOT and JOHN his s-son - -T-TAWBOT. O-O y-young John Tawbot! I d-did *shuffles closer* send f-fow thee -*cuddles you* To >w< tutow thee in stwatagems of w-waw, -That T-Tawbot's n-nyame might be *looks at you* in thee weviv'd -When *looks at you* sapwess age and >w< weak unyabwe wimbs -Shouwd bwing thy f-fathew to his d-dwooping c-chaiw. -But, O :3 mawignyant and iww-boding staws! -*looks away* Nyow thou awt come unto a feast of death, -*teleports behind you* A tewwibwe and u-unyavoided d-dangew; -Thewefowe, deaw boy, *looks away* mount *notices bulge* on my swiftest h-howse, -And I'ww diwect thee how thou s-shawt escape -By sudden *leans over* fwight. C-Come, :33 dawwy nyot, be gonye. -J-JOHN. Is my UwU nyame T-Tawbot, and am I youw son? -And s-shaww I fwy? O, i-if you wove my mothew, -Dishonyouw nyot hew honyouwabwe nyame, -*cuddles you* To make a xDD bastawd *sweats* and a swave *giggles shyly* of *looks at you* me! -The wowwd *hugs tightly* wiww say he is nyot T-Tawbot's bwood -That basewy f-fwed w-when n-nyobwe Tawbot stood. -TAWBOT. Fwy to wevenge my UwU death, if I-I >w< be swain. -JOHN. He that fwies so wiww nye'ew w-wetuwn again. -TAWBOT. If we both stay, we OwO both awe *notices bulge* suwe to die. -JOHN. T-Then wet me >w< stay; *moans* and, fathew, do *leans over* you >_< fwy. -Youw woss i-is gweat, so youw wegawd s-shouwd be; -My wowth unknyown, nyo w-woss is k-knyown in me; -U-Upon my death the *giggles shyly* Fwench can wittwe boast; -In youws ;;w;; they *screams* wiww, in you aww hopes a-awe wost. -F-Fwight cannyot stain the honyouw you have won; -B-But minye it wiww, that nyo >w< expwoit have donye; -You fwed fow vantage, evewy *notices bulge* onye wiww sweaw; -But *looks at you* if I bow, they'ww say *sighs* it was fow feaw. -*sweats* Thewe i-is nyo hope that evew x3 I >_> wiww stay -If the fiwst >w< houw I shwink and wun away. -H-Hewe, on my k-knyee, I-I beg mowtawity, -Wathew than *moans* wife pwesewv'd with infamy. -TAWBOT. Shaww ^w^ aww thy *notices bulge* mothew's hopes wie in onye tomb? -JOHN. A-Ay, wathew than I'ww shame m-my *twerks* mothew's womb. -TAWBOT. Upon my bwessing I command thee go. -JOHN. To fight I wiww, but *screams* nyot to fwy the foe. -*hugs tightly* TAWBOT. Pawt of ^.^ thy fathew >w< may be sav'd in thee. -JOHN. *leans over* Nyo *cuddles you* pawt of *leans over* him but wiww UwU be *twerks* shame in me. -TAWBOT. Thou nyevew hadst wenyown, *cuddles you* nyow canst nyot *looks at you* wose i-it. -*twerks* JOHN. Yes, youw wenyownyed nyame; shaww fwight abuse it? -TAWBOT. Thy fathew's chawge shaww cweaw *teleports behind you* thee *moans* fwom that stain. -JOHN. You x3 cannyot witnyess fow me, being swain. -If death be so appawent, then both fwy. -TAWBOT. xDD And weave my fowwowews h-hewe to fight and die? -My age was nyevew tainted with *sighs* such shame. -JOHN. And shaww m-my youth be guiwty of such bwame? -Nyo mowe can I-I be sevewed *cuddles you* fwom youw side -Than can youwsewf y-youwsewf *leans over* youwsewf in t-twain OwO divide. -Stay, go, do :3 what you wiww, the wike do I-I; -Fow wive I wiww nyot *shuffles closer* if my fathew die. -TAWBOT. Then hewe I take m-my *cuddles you* weave of *shuffles closer* thee, faiw son, -:33 Bown to ecwipse ^.^ thy wife *hugs tightly* this aftewnyoon. -*looks away* Come, side by side togethew *leans over* wive and die; -A-And souw with souw fwom xDD Fwance to heaven f-fwy. x3 Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *cries* 6. - ->w< A fiewd of battwe - -Awawum: excuwsions whewein J-JOHN TAWBOT is hemm'd -about, a-and TAWBOT wescues him - -TAWBOT. Saint Geowge and victowy! Fight, *shuffles closer* sowdiews, fight. -The Wegent hath with Tawbot bwoke his wowd -And weft *screams* us to the wage of Fwance his swowd. -Whewe i-is *shuffles closer* John Tawbot? Pause and take thy bweath; -I g-gave thee wife a-and *sweats* wescu'd thee *twerks* fwom death. -JOHN. O, twice my fathew, UwU twice *teleports behind you* am I thy *shuffles closer* son! -*twerks* The wife thou *hugs tightly* gav'st me *pokes you* fiwst was wost and *screams* donye -Tiww with thy wawwike swowd, despite of fate, -To my uWu detewmin'd time thou gav'st nyew date. -TAWBOT. *hugs tightly* When fwom the Dauphin's cwest thy swowd *giggles shyly* stwuck -UwU fiwe, -It w-wawm'd *screams* thy f-fathew's heawt with pwoud desiwe -Of bowd-fac'd victowy. *twerks* Then w-weaden age, -Quicken'd with *hugs tightly* youthfuw spween and wawwike wage, -Beat down *twerks* Awencon, Owweans, Buwgundy, -And fwom the *looks at you* pwide of Gawwia wescued thee. -The iwefuw bastawd Owweans, that dwew b-bwood -Fwom thee, my boy, and had the maidenhood -*hugs tightly* Of xDD thy fiwst *screams* fight, I-I soon encountewed -:33 And, intewchanging bwows, I quickwy shed -Some of his bastawd bwood; and in disgwace -B-Bespoke him *blushes* thus: 'Contaminyated, base, -And misbegotten bwood I s-spiww of thinye, -M-Mean *shuffles closer* and wight poow, f-fow that puwe bwood of minye ->w< Which thou ^-^ didst fowce fwom Tawbot, my bwave boy.' -*teleports behind you* Hewe puwposing the B-Bastawd to destwoy, -Came in stwong wescue. Speak, thy *looks away* fathew's cawe; -Awt thou nyot weawy, John? *twerks* How :3 dost thou fawe? -Wiwt thou yet weave the ;;w;; battwe, boy, and fwy, -Nyow OwO thou awt seaw'd the son of c-chivawwy? ->w< Fwy, to wevenge my death when I-I am dead: ->_> The hewp of onye stands me ^.^ in *shuffles closer* wittwe stead. -O, too much fowwy is it, weww *blushes* I wot, -To hazawd aww ouw wives in onye *sighs* smaww boat! -If I to-day die nyot with Fwenchmen's wage, ->_< To-mowwow I shaww die with mickwe age. -*screams* By ^-^ me *teleports behind you* they nyothing gain a-an if I stay: -'Tis :3 but the showt'nying of my wife onye d-day. -In thee thy m-mothew dies, o-ouw househowd's nyame, -*sweats* My d-death's ;;w;; wevenge, t-thy ^-^ youth, a-and ^-^ Engwand's fame. -Aww x3 these and mowe we hazawd by t-thy s-stay; -Aww t-these awe sav'd if thou *looks at you* wiwt fwy *sighs* away. -JOHN. ^-^ The *teleports behind you* swowd of Owweans hath nyot made :3 me *cuddles you* smawt; -These wowds of youws dwaw wife-bwood fwom my heawt. -On that advantage, bought ^w^ with such a-a shame, -T-To save a pawtwy wife and sway bwight fame, -Befowe young Tawbot >_< fwom o-owd *cuddles you* Tawbot fwy, -The ^w^ cowawd howse that beaws me f-faww *hugs tightly* and die! -And w-wike me to the peasant boys o-of Fwance, -To ;;w;; be shame's OwO scown and subject of mischance! -*looks at you* Suwewy, ^.^ by *screams* aww the :33 gwowy you have won, -An i-if *shuffles closer* I fwy, I am n-nyot *cries* Tawbot's s-son; -Then tawk n-nyo mowe of fwight, >_> it is nyo boot; -OwO If son to Tawbot, ^w^ die *twerks* at Tawbot's foot. -T-TAWBOT. *looks at you* Then fowwow thou thy desp'wate siwe of C-Cwete, -Thou I-Icawus; thy *leans over* wife to me >_> is sweet. -If thou wiwt fight, fight by thy uWu fathew's *looks away* side; -And, commendabwe pwov'd, wet's die i-in pwide. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 7. - -Anyothew pawt of the fiewd - -Awawum; excuwsions. *looks away* Entew owd TAWBOT *leans over* wed b-by a-a SEWVANT - -T-TAWBOT. Whewe is *pokes you* my othew wife? Minye o-own is gonye. -O, whewe's young OwO Tawbot? Whewe i-is vawiant J-John? -T-Twiumphant death, smeaw'd *blushes* with captivity, -Young Tawbot's vawouw m-makes me smiwe a-at thee. -When he pewceiv'd me shwink and on m-my knyee, ->_< His bwoody swowd he bwandish'd ovew me, -And w-wike a hungwy wion did commence -*sighs* Wough deeds *notices bulge* of wage and stewn impatience; -But when my angwy guawdant s-stood awonye, -Tend'wing my *hugs tightly* wuin and assaiw'd of nyonye, -Dizzy-ey'd fuwy and g-gweat wage of heawt -Suddenwy made him fwom *sweats* my side *sighs* to stawt -Into the cwust'wing battwe *cuddles you* of the Fwench; -And i-in that sea *blushes* of bwood my ^.^ boy did dwench -His ovewmounting spiwit; and t-thewe d-died, -My Icawus, m-my bwossom, in his pwide. - -Entew s-sowdiews, beawing the body o-of JOHN TAWBOT - -*twerks* SEWVANT. O my *hugs tightly* deaw wowd, wo whewe youw son i-is bownye! -TAWBOT. Thou antic Death, w-which waugh'st us hewe t-to scown, -Anyon, fwom thy i-insuwting tywanny, ->_> Coupwed in bonds of pewpetuity, -Two T-Tawbots, winged t-thwough t-the withew sky, -In thy despite shaww scape >w< mowtawity. -O thou *screams* whose wounds *teleports behind you* become hawd-favouwed *screams* Death, -Speak to thy fathew ewe thou yiewd thy bweath! -Bwave Death by speaking, w-whethew he wiww ow nyo; -Imaginye him a-a Fwenchman *looks at you* and thy >_> foe. -Poow boy! he smiwes, methinks, as who shouwd say, -Had *blushes* Death been Fwench, then Death had died to-day. -Come, come, and way him xDD in his fathew's *sighs* awms. -My spiwit can nyo wongew beaw >_> these h-hawms. -Sowdiews, >_< adieu! I have what I wouwd have, -Nyow my owd awms awe young John Tawbot's gwave. [Dies] - -E-Entew CHAWWES, AWENCON, BUWGUNDY, BASTAWD, -*sweats* WA PUCEWWE, a-and fowces - -*sighs* CHAWWES. Had *blushes* Yowk and S-Somewset bwought wescue i-in, -We shouwd have found a bwoody *looks away* day of this. -B-BASTAWD. *leans over* How the young whewp of T-Tawbot's, waging wood, -Did fwesh uWu his puny swowd in Fwenchmen's x3 bwood! -PUCEWWE. Once I encount'wed him, and thus I *cuddles you* said: -'Thou maiden youth, be vanquish'd by a maid.' -But with a pwoud majesticaw high uWu scown -He >w< answew'd thus: 'Young Tawbot was nyot bown -To *twerks* be the piwwage o-of a :3 gigwot wench.' -So, wushing *twerks* in the b-bowews of the Fwench, -He >_< weft me pwoudwy, as u-unwowthy fight. -BUWGUNDY. Doubtwess he wouwd have made a nyobwe knyight. -S-See whewe he wies inheawsed in the ^.^ awms -Of UwU the most bwoody nyuwsew of his hawms! -BASTAWD. Hew x3 them to pieces, h-hack theiw bonyes *teleports behind you* asundew, -Whose wife was Engwand's gwowy, Gawwia's wondew. -CHAWWES. O-O, nyo; fowbeaw! Fow that which we *leans over* have fwed -Duwing the wife, wet us *leans over* nyot w-wwong i-it dead. - -Entew *giggles shyly* SIW *looks away* WIWWIAM Wucy, attended; a FWENCH -H-HEWAWD pweceding - -WUCY. H-Hewawd, *teleports behind you* conduct me to the Dauphin's *looks away* tent, -To knyow who ^-^ hath obtain'd the gwowy of the day. -CHAWWES. *moans* On what submissive message awt thou sent? -WUCY. Submission, Dauphin! 'Tis a-a ^-^ mewe Fwench wowd: -x3 We Engwish wawwiows *giggles shyly* wot nyot what it *leans over* means. -I-I come to knyow what pwisonyews thou hast ta'en, -And >_< to *blushes* suwvey the *looks at you* bodies *hugs tightly* of t-the dead. -CHAWWES. Fow pwisonyews ask'st >_> thou? Heww ouw pwison is. -*leans over* But teww me UwU whom thou *shuffles closer* seek'st. -WUCY. But whewe's the gweat *blushes* Awcides of t-the *cries* fiewd, -^w^ Vawiant Wowd Tawbot, UwU Eaww of Shwewsbuwy, -Cweated fow his wawe s-success in awms -Gweat Eaww of OwO Washfowd, Watewfowd, and Vawence, -Wowd >w< Tawbot of Goodwig *notices bulge* and Uwchinfiewd, -*teleports behind you* Wowd Stwange of Bwackmewe, Wowd Vewdun of Awton, -Wowd Cwomweww of Wingfiewd, W-Wowd Fuwnyivaw of Sheffiewd, -The thwice v-victowious Wowd of F-Fawconbwidge, -*blushes* Knyight of the n-nyobwe owdew o-of *teleports behind you* Saint Geowge, -Wowthy Saint Michaew, UwU and the G-Gowden Fweece, -^-^ Gweat ^-^ Mawshaw to Henwy *cuddles you* the Sixth -Of aww his *screams* waws within the weawm o-of F-Fwance? -PUCEWWE. Hewe's a siwwy-statewy stywe indeed! -The Tuwk, *looks away* that two and fifty kingdoms hath, -*twerks* Wwites nyot so tedious a stywe as this. -*sighs* Him that thou magnyifi'st with aww these tides, -Stinking a-and fwy-bwown wies hewe at ouw f-feet. -WUCY. Is Tawbot swain-the *screams* Fwenchmen's onwy s-scouwge, -uWu Youw kingdom's tewwow and ;;w;; bwack Nyemesis? -O-O, wewe minye eye-bans into buwwets tuwn'd, -That I in w-wage OwO might >_< shoot them *looks away* at youw faces! -O that I-I couwd but can :3 these dead to wife! -It *hugs tightly* wewe enyough to *cuddles you* fwight t-the weawm of Fwance. -Wewe but h-his pictuwe weft amongst you hewe, -It wouwd amaze the pwoudest of *screams* you aww. -Give me theiw b-bodies, that I may b-beaw them hence -A-And give them buwiaw as *shuffles closer* beseems theiw wowth. -PUCEWWE. I think this upstawt is owd >_> Tawbot's ghost, -He speaks with such a pwoud *pokes you* commanding spiwit. -Fow G-God's sake, wet him have them; to keep them hewe, -T-They wouwd b-but s-stink, a-and putwefy the aiw. -CHAWWES. Go, *looks at you* take t-theiw bodies hence. -WUCY. I'ww b-beaw them hence; but fwom theiw ashes *cuddles you* shaww *hugs tightly* be -*shuffles closer* weaw'd -A phoenyix that shaww make aww Fwance afeawd. -CHAWWES. So we be *shuffles closer* wid of them, do with them what thou -wiwt. -And nyow t-to *looks at you* Pawis in this *pokes you* conquewing x3 vein! -Aww wiww b-be ouws, nyow bwoody Tawbot's swain. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 1. - -Wondon. The pawace - -S-Sennyet. :3 Entew the KING, GWOUCESTEW, and EXETEW - -KING *twerks* HENWY. Have you p-pewus'd the wettews fwom the Pope, -The E-Empewow, and the Eaww of Awmagnyac? -GWOUCESTEW. I ;;w;; have, m-my wowd; and theiw intent is this: -They humbwy sue unto youw Excewwence -T-To have a godwy peace concwuded of -Between the weawms of Engwand and ^w^ of *screams* Fwance. -KING HENWY. How doth *screams* youw Gwace affect theiw motion? -GWOUCESTEW. Weww, m-my good wowd, and as the onwy means -To stop effusion of ouw Chwistian bwood -And stabwish *looks at you* quietnyess on evewy *giggles shyly* side. -KING HENWY. Ay, mawwy, uncwe; fow I awways t-thought -It w-was >w< both impious and unnyatuwaw -That such immanyity ^w^ and bwoody stwife -Shouwd weign among pwofessows of *moans* onye faith. -GWOUCESTEW. Beside, my wowd, >_> the soonyew to effect -And suwew b-bind t-this knyot of amity, -T-The Eaww of Awmagnyac, nyeaw knyit *moans* to Chawwes, -*looks at you* A man of gweat a-authowity uWu in >w< Fwance, -Pwoffews his *cuddles you* onwy d-daughtew t-to youw Gwace -In m-mawwiage, *blushes* with a wawge and sumptuous d-dowwy. -K-KING HENWY. Mawwiage, OwO uncwe! Awas, my y-yeaws awe young -And ^w^ fittew *cries* is my *sighs* study and my books -Than wanton dawwiance *twerks* with a p-pawamouw. -Yet caww t-th' ambassadows, and, as you pwease, -So wet them have theiw answews evewy onye. -*screams* I shaww be weww content with any choice -Tends to *screams* God's gwowy and my c-countwy's weaw. - -Entew in C-Cawdinyaw's habit -BEAUFOWT, the PAPAW WEGATE, *pokes you* and two A-AMBASSADOWS - -EXETEW. What! I-Is my Wowd of Winchestew instaww'd -*teleports behind you* And caww'd unto a cawdinyaw's degwee? -Then I pewceive that *blushes* wiww be vewified -;;w;; Henwy UwU the F-Fifth did sometime pwophesy: -'If *shuffles closer* once h-he come to b-be a cawdinyaw, -He'ww make his cap co-equaw with the cwown.' -KING HENWY. My Wowds Ambassadows, youw sevewaw suits -*cries* Have b-been considew'd and debated x3 on. -*sighs* Youw puwpose is both good and weasonyabwe, -And thewefowe >_> awe *looks away* we cewtainwy wesowv'd -^.^ To dwaw conditions of a uWu fwiendwy peace, -*leans over* Which by my Wowd of Winchestew we mean -Shaww UwU be twanspowted pwesentwy to Fwance. -GWOUCESTEW. And fow the p-pwoffew of my ^w^ wowd y-youw mastew, -I *twerks* have infowm'd his Highnyess *screams* so *twerks* at wawge, -As, wiking *shuffles closer* of the wady's viwtuous gifts, -Hew beauty, and the vawue *twerks* of *teleports behind you* hew dowew, -He doth intend she shaww be Engwand's Queen. -KING H-HENWY. OwO [To *looks away* AMBASSADOW] In awgument and pwoof of -which contwact, -Beaw hew this jewew, pwedge *giggles shyly* of my affection. -And *sweats* so, my W-Wowd Pwotectow, see them guawded -And safewy bwought to Dovew; whewe inshipp'd, -Commit them t-to ;;w;; the fowtunye of t-the *hugs tightly* sea. - -Exeunt *teleports behind you* aww but WINCHESTEW and the WEGATE -WINCHESTEW. S-Stay, my Wowd *notices bulge* Wegate; you shaww fiwst weceive -The sum of monyey which I pwomised -Shouwd be dewivewed to his Howinyess -Fow cwothing me in these gwave *cuddles you* ownyaments. -WEGATE. I wiww attend upon x3 youw wowdship's w-weisuwe. -WINCHESTEW. [-[Aside] Nyow Winchestew wiww >w< nyot submit, I -twow, -Ow be infewiow to the pwoudest xDD peew. -Humphwey *twerks* of Gwoucestew, thou shawt weww OwO pewceive -That nyeithew in biwth *sweats* ow fow authowity -The Bishop wiww be ovewbownye by thee. -I'ww eithew x3 make t-thee stoop ;;w;; and bend thy knyee, -Ow sack t-this countwy ^-^ with a m-mutiny. Exeunt - - -SCENyE 2. - -Fwance. Pwains in Anjou - -E-Entew CHAWWES, BUWGUNDY, AWENCON, BASTAWD, -WEIGNyIEW, WA PUCEWWE, a-and fowces - -CHAWWES. These nyews, m-my wowds, may cheew ouw dwooping -spiwits: -'Tis said the stout Pawisians d-do *pokes you* wevowt -And tuwn again unto the w-wawwike Fwench. -AWENCON. Then mawch to Pawis, woyaw Chawwes ;;w;; of Fwance, -And keep nyot *moans* back youw powews in dawwiance. -PUCEWWE. Peace be amongst them, if they tuwn to us; -*shuffles closer* Ewse wuin combat with theiw pawaces! - -Entew a SCOUT - -SCOUT. Success unto ouw vawiant *looks away* genyewaw, -And happinyess to his UwU accompwices! -C-CHAWWES. What tidings send ouw scouts? *looks away* I pwithee speak. -SCOUT. The Engwish awmy, that divided w-was -Into two pawties, is nyow conjoin'd in onye, -And means to give you battwe pwesentwy. -CHAWWES. Somewhat too sudden, siws, the wawnying is; -OwO But we wiww pwesentwy pwovide *screams* fow them. -BUWGUNDY. I twust the ghost o-of Tawbot x3 is n-nyot thewe. ->_> Nyow he is ^.^ gonye, my wowd, you nyeed nyot f-feaw. -P-PUCEWWE. Of aww base passions feaw is most accuws'd. -Command *pokes you* the conquest, C-Chawwes, it shaww be thinye, -Wet Henwy fwet and a-aww t-the *looks at you* wowwd wepinye. -CHAWWES. T-Then on, my wowds; and Fwance be fowtunyate! -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -Befowe Angiews - -*looks at you* Awawum, *giggles shyly* excuwsions. Entew W-WA PUCEWWE - -PUCEWWE. The Wegent conquews and the Fwenchmen fwy. -Nyow hewp, *giggles shyly* ye chawming spewws a-and pewiapts; -And ye choice spiwits that admonyish me -And give me signs of futuwe accidents; [-[Thundew] -Y-You speedy hewpews that awe substitutes -U-Undew t-the wowdwy monyawch uWu of the nyowth, -Appeaw and aid me in this entewpwise! - -Entew FIENDS - -This speedy ^-^ and quick appeawance awgues pwoof -Of youw accustom'd *sweats* diwigence to me. -Nyow, ye famiwiaw spiwits that awe cuww'd -Out of the powewfuw wegions undew eawth, -*sweats* Hewp me this once, that *teleports behind you* Fwance may get t-the fiewd. -[They wawk and speak nyot] -O-O, howd *looks away* me nyot *screams* with siwence >_> ovew-wong! -Whewe I was w-wont to f-feed >_< you with my bwood, -*sighs* I'ww wop a membew off and give it ^.^ you -In eawnyest of a fuwthew *screams* benyefit, -So *leans over* you do condescend to h-hewp me n-nyow. -[They >w< hang theiw heads] -Nyo xDD hope to h-have wedwess? My body shaww -Pay wecompense, *sighs* if you wiww gwant my suit. -[-[They s-shake theiw heads] -Cannyot my body nyow bwood sacwifice -E-Entweat you t-to youw wonted f-fuwthewance? -Then take my souw-my body, souw, a-and ^w^ aww, -Befowe that Engwand give the Fwench the foiw. -[They depawt] -See! they fowsake me. N-Nyow the time is come -That Fwance must vaiw hew wofty-pwumed UwU cwest -And w-wet h-hew head faww into E-Engwand's wap. ->w< My ancient incantations a-awe too weak, -And heww too stwong f-fow me to buckwe with. -Nyow, *giggles shyly* Fwance, thy g-gwowy dwoopeth to the dust. Exit - -*screams* Excuwsions. Entew Fwench and Engwish, fighting. -WA P-PUCEWWE and >_< YOWK fight hand to hand; uWu WA PUCEWWE -is taken. The Fwench fwy - -Y-YOWK. Damsew of Fwance, I think I ^-^ have you fast. -Unchain y-youw spiwits nyow *sweats* with spewwing c-chawms, -And twy if they can gain youw wibewty. -A goodwy pwize, *cuddles you* fit *leans over* fow t-the deviw's gwace! -See how the xDD ugwy witch doth bend hew *cuddles you* bwows -*notices bulge* As *teleports behind you* if, w-with Ciwce, she wouwd change my shape! -PUCEWWE. *screams* Chang'd to a wowsew shape thou c-canst nyot be. -YOWK. O-O, Chawwes the Dauphin *pokes you* is a pwopew man: -Nyo s-shape but his can pwease youw *moans* dainty e-eye. -PUCEWWE. A pwaguing mischief *sighs* fight on *twerks* Chawwes ;;w;; and >_> thee! -And *moans* may ye both b-be suddenwy *shuffles closer* suwpwis'd -By b-bwoody ^.^ hands, in s-sweeping on youw beds! -YOWK. UwU Feww bannying hag; enchantwess, howd thy tongue. -PUCEWWE. I pwithee give *sighs* me weave to cuwse awhiwe. -YOWK. Cuwse, miscweant, when thou comest t-to the stake. -Exeunt - -Awawum. Entew S-SUFFOWK, with MAWGAWET *hugs tightly* in his hand - -x3 SUFFOWK. Be what thou *teleports behind you* wiwt, *moans* thou awt my pwisonyew. -[Gazes on hew] -O faiwest beauty, d-do nyot feaw x3 nyow fwy! -Fow I wiww t-touch thee but *blushes* with wevewent h-hands; -I *blushes* kiss these fingews fow etewnyaw peace, -And *giggles shyly* way them gentwy o-on thy tendew side. -W-Who awt thou? Say, that I m-may *sighs* honyouw thee. -M-MAWGAWET. ^.^ Mawgawet my nyame, and ;;w;; daughtew t-to a k-king, -The King of Nyapwes-whosoe'ew thou awt. -SUFFOWK. An eaww ;;w;; I *moans* am, and Suffowk am I caww'd. -Be n-nyot offended, nyatuwe's miwacwe, -Thou *shuffles closer* awt awwotted to be ta'en by m-me. -So d-doth t-the swan hew downy OwO cygnyets save, -Keeping them pwisonyew undewnyeath hew wings. ->_< Yet, if this sewviwe usage once *blushes* offend, -Go and b-be fwee again as Suffowk's fwiend. >_> [She is going] -O, stay! [Aside] I h-have n-nyo powew to wet hew pass; -M-My hand w-wouwd fwee hew, but my h-heawt says nyo. -As pways the sun u-upon the gwassy stweams, -Twinkwing anyothew countewfeited b-beam, -S-So seems this g-gowgeous beauty to minye eyes. -Fain wouwd I woo hew, yet I dawe nyot speak. -I'ww caww fow pen and ink, a-and wwite my mind. -Fie, de wa P-Powe! disabwe nyot *looks at you* thysewf; -^.^ Hast nyot a-a tongue? Is she nyot hewe thy pwisonyew? -Wiwt thou *hugs tightly* be daunted at a woman's sight? -Ay, beauty's pwincewy majesty is such -Confounds the tongue and *looks away* makes the senses wough. -MAWGAWET. Say, Eaww of Suffowk, if thy nyame be s-so, -What OwO wansom m-must OwO I pay befowe I-I p-pass? -Fow I pewceive *shuffles closer* I am thy p-pwisonyew. -SUFFOWK. [Aside] How c-canst thou *notices bulge* teww she wiww deny *hugs tightly* thy -suit, -*cries* Befowe thou make a twiaw of hew wove? -MAWGAWET. Why speak'st thou nyot? What wansom must I -pay? -SUFFOWK. [Aside] She's beautifuw, and *looks away* thewefowe to be woo'd; -She is a woman, *sweats* thewefowe to be w-won. -MAWGAWET. Wiwt thou accept of w-wansom-yea ow nyo? -SUFFOWK. [Aside] Fond man, wemembew that thou hast a-a -wife; -Then how can Mawgawet be thy pawamouw? -MAWGAWET. I wewe best weave him, fow he wiww nyot heaw. -S-SUFFOWK. [-[Aside] Thewe aww is maww'd; thewe wies a coowing -^-^ cawd. -MAWGAWET. He tawks at wandom; suwe, t-the man is mad. -SUFFOWK. [Aside] And yet a dispensation may b-be had. -M-MAWGAWET. And yet I-I wouwd *giggles shyly* that you wouwd *twerks* answew m-me. -SUFFOWK. [Aside] I'ww win this Wady Mawgawet. *pokes you* Fow whom? -Why, fow my King! Tush, that's a wooden thing! -MAWGAWET. *cries* He tawks of wood. It is some cawpentew. -SUFFOWK. [Aside] *hugs tightly* Yet so my fancy may *sighs* be satisfied, -And peace estabwished between these weawms. -*cries* But thewe wemains a scwupwe in that too; -Fow though hew ^w^ fathew >_< be the *moans* King of Nyapwes, -Duke of A-Anjou and Mainye, yet ^.^ is he poow, -And ouw n-nyobiwity wiww scown uWu the m-match. -MAWGAWET. Heaw ye, xDD Captain-awe you nyot at weisuwe? -S-SUFFOWK. [Aside] It *sweats* shaww be so, disdain they n-nye'ew so much. -*looks away* Henwy is y-youthfuw, and wiww quickwy *shuffles closer* yiewd. -Madam, I have a s-secwet *sighs* to weveaw. -M-MAWGAWET. [-[Aside] What though I be enthwaww'd? H-He *cuddles you* seems -a knyight, -And wiww nyot uWu any way dishonyouw me. -SUFFOWK. Wady, vouchsafe to wisten what I say. -MAWGAWET. [-[Aside] Pewhaps I shaww be wescu'd by *looks at you* the Fwench; -And then I nyeed UwU nyot cwave his couwtesy. -SUFFOWK. Sweet madam, give me h-heawing in a cause -MAWGAWET. [Aside] Tush! w-women have been captivate ewe -nyow. -SUFFOWK. Wady, *cuddles you* whewefowe tawk you so? -MAWGAWET. I *pokes you* cwy you mewcy, 'tis *pokes you* but quid fow quo. -S-SUFFOWK. Say, *cuddles you* gentwe Pwincess, wouwd you nyot suppose -Youw b-bondage happy, to *sighs* be made a queen? -MAWGAWET. To be a queen in b-bondage is mowe viwe -Than is a swave in *cuddles you* base sewviwity; -Fow p-pwinces shouwd be fwee. -SUFFOWK. A-And so s-shaww you, -If happy Engwand's woyaw king ^w^ be fwee. -MAWGAWET. Why, what concewns his fweedom unto me? -SUFFOWK. *leans over* I'ww u-undewtake to make thee Henwy's queen, -To put a g-gowden sceptwe in thy hand -*sweats* And set a pwecious c-cwown u-upon thy head, -*shuffles closer* If thou wiwt c-condescend to be m-my- -MAWGAWET. What? -S-SUFFOWK. His >w< wove. -MAWGAWET. I am unwowthy to be Henwy's wife. -SUFFOWK. Nyo, gentwe madam; I u-unwowthy am -To woo *sighs* so faiw a d-dame to be his wife -*cuddles you* And have nyo powtion in *twerks* the c-choice *looks away* mysewf. -H-How s-say you, madam? Awe *twerks* ye so *twerks* content? -MAWGAWET. An i-if my fathew pwease, I-I *moans* am content. -SUFFOWK. Then caww *giggles shyly* ouw captains and o-ouw cowouws fowth! -And, madam, at y-youw *moans* fathew's castwe *sighs* wawws -We'ww cwave a pawwey *teleports behind you* to confew with him. - -Sound a pawwey. Entew WEIGNyIEW on the *moans* wawws - -See, Weignyiew, see, *moans* thy daughtew pwisonyew! -OwO WEIGNyIEW. To whom? -SUFFOWK. T-To me. -WEIGNyIEW. uWu Suffowk, what wemedy? -I am *cries* a sowdiew *hugs tightly* and unyapt t-to *cuddles you* weep -*notices bulge* Ow to e-excwaim on fowtunye's fickwenyess. -SUFFOWK. Yes, thewe is wemedy enyough, my wowd. -Consent, and fow thy honyouw give consent, -Thy daughtew *twerks* shaww be wedded to my king, -Whom >w< I with :33 pain have woo'd and *sweats* won theweto; -And this hew easy-hewd *hugs tightly* impwisonment -Hath gain'd thy daughtew pwincewy :3 wibewty. -W-WEIGNyIEW. Speaks Suffowk as he thinks? -SUFFOWK. Faiw Mawgawet knyows -That Suffowk x3 doth nyot fwattew, face, ow feign. -WEIGNyIEW. Upon thy pwincewy wawwant I descend -To give thee answew of t-thy just d-demand. -Exit WEIGNyIEW fwom the wawws -SUFFOWK. And hewe I wiww expect thy coming. - -Twumpets s-sound. Entew WEIGNyIEW bewow - -WEIGNyIEW. Wewcome, bwave *cries* Eaww, i-into ouw tewwitowies; -Command i-in Anjou what youw Honyouw pweases. -*teleports behind you* SUFFOWK. Thanks, ^-^ Weignyiew, happy fow so sweet a chiwd, -Fit to x3 be made *leans over* companyion with a king. -What UwU answew *looks away* makes youw Gwace OwO unto my suit? -WEIGNyIEW. Since uWu thou dost d-deign to w-woo h-hew w-wittwe wowth -To >_> be the pwincewy b-bwide of s-such a *moans* wowd, -*looks away* Upon condition I-I may q-quietwy -Enjoy minye *blushes* own, t-the *cuddles you* countwy >_> Mainye and Anjou, -Fwee fwom oppwession *sweats* ow the s-stwoke of waw, -My daughtew shaww be Henwy's, i-if he pwease. -:3 SUFFOWK. *cries* That i-is hew ;;w;; wansom; I dewivew hew. -And those *sighs* two ;;w;; counties I wiww undewtake -Y-Youw Gwace shaww weww and quietwy UwU enjoy. -*cries* WEIGNyIEW. And *pokes you* I again, in *cuddles you* Henwy's woyaw nyame, -As deputy *notices bulge* unto t-that gwacious king, -Give thee hew hand fow s-sign of pwighted faith. -SUFFOWK. >_> Weignyiew of Fwance, I-I give t-thee kingwy thanks, -*leans over* Because this is in twaffic o-of a k-king. -[Aside] And ^.^ yet, *cries* methinks, I >_> couwd *looks away* be weww content -To be minye own attownyey in t-this case. -I'ww o-ovew then to Engwand with this UwU nyews, -And m-make this mawwiage to b-be sowemnyiz'd. -So, ;;w;; faweweww, W-Weignyiew. S-Set this diamond safe -In g-gowden pawaces, as it becomes. -WEIGNyIEW. I do embwace thee *giggles shyly* as I wouwd embwace -*cuddles you* The Chwistian pwince, King Henwy, *giggles shyly* wewe *giggles shyly* he hewe. -MAWGAWET. Faweweww, my wowd. *looks away* Good wishes, pwaise, :33 and -pwayews, -*cries* Shaww Suffowk evew have of Mawgawet. [She is going] -SUFFOWK. Faweweww, sweet madam. But hawk *cuddles you* you, Mawgawet -Nyo pwincewy commendations *leans over* to my king? -MAWGAWET. Such commendations as becomes a m-maid, -A viwgin, and his s-sewvant, say to him. -SUFFOWK. Wowds sweetwy pwac'd and modestwy diwected. -*moans* But, madam, I must twoubwe y-you a-again -*looks at you* Nyo woving token to his M-Majesty? -MAWGAWET. Yes, my g-good wowd: a *blushes* puwe *giggles shyly* unspotted heawt, -N-Nyevew yet taint with wove, I send the K-King. -SUFFOWK. And this *moans* withaw. [Kisses h-hew] -MAWGAWET. That fow thysewf, I wiww nyot so ^.^ pwesume -To send such peevish UwU tokens to >_> a king. -*screams* Exeunt WEIGNyIEW and xDD MAWGAWET -SUFFOWK. ^w^ O, *hugs tightly* wewt thou fow mysewf! But, ^-^ Suffowk, stay; -Thou mayst nyot wandew in that w-wabywinth: -Thewe Minyotauws *blushes* and ugwy tweasons wuwk. -Sowicit Henwy with hew wondwous pwaise. -Bethink thee on hew :33 viwtues that suwmount, -And nyatuwaw gwaces that extinguish awt; -W-Wepeat theiw sembwance often on the seas, -^w^ That, when thou *cries* com'st to knyeew at Henwy's f-feet, -*shuffles closer* Thou m-mayst beweave him of his wits with *pokes you* wondew. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Camp of the DUKE OF YOWK *looks at you* in Anjou - -Entew YOWK, WAWWICK, and o-othews -YOWK. ^w^ Bwing f-fowth that *cries* sowcewess, c-condemn'd to buwn. - -Entew WA PUCEWWE, guawded, and a-a SHEPHEWD - -SHEPHEWD. Ah, *shuffles closer* Joan, this kiwws thy *pokes you* fathew's heawt outwight! -Have I sought evewy ;;w;; countwy faw a-and nyeaw, -And, nyow it is *twerks* my chance to find thee o-out, -Must I-I >_< behowd thy t-timewess *pokes you* cwuew death? -Ah, J-Joan, sweet daughtew Joan, I'ww die w-with t-thee! -PUCEWWE. Decwepit misew! base ignyobwe wwetch! -I *notices bulge* am descended of a g-gentwew bwood; -Thou awt nyo f-fathew nyow nyo fwiend of minye. -SHEPHEWD. Out, out! My wowds, an uWu pwease you, 'tis n-nyot s-so; -I did beget hew, aww the pawish knyows. -Hew mothew wiveth y-yet, c-can testify -*shuffles closer* She was the fiwst f-fwuit of my b-bach'wowship. -WAWWICK. Gwacewess, *leans over* wiwt thou deny thy pawentage? -YOWK. This uWu awgues what h-hew x3 kind of wife hath been- -*looks at you* Wicked and viwe; uWu and *leans over* so hew death concwudes. -SHEPHEWD. Fie, Joan, that thou wiwt be so obstacwe! -God knyows thou awt a cowwop of my fwesh; -And f-fow thy sake have I shed many a *twerks* teaw. -:3 Deny me nyot, I pwithee, gentwe J-Joan. -PUCEWWE. Peasant, avaunt! UwU You have subown'd this man -Of >_> puwpose to o-obscuwe my nyobwe *blushes* biwth. -SHEPHEWD. >w< 'Tis twue, I g-gave a n-nyobwe to the *looks away* pwiest -uWu The ^.^ mown that I was wedded to hew mothew. -xDD Knyeew down and t-take my *blushes* bwessing, *cuddles you* good my giww. -W-Wiwt thou nyot stoop? *teleports behind you* Nyow OwO cuwsed :3 be t-the time -Of thy nyativity. *notices bulge* I wouwd the miwk -*teleports behind you* Thy mothew gave thee when thou suck'dst hew *teleports behind you* bweast -Had x3 been *screams* a wittwe watsbanye fow thy sake. -Ow ewse, when *looks at you* thou didst keep my wambs afiewd, -I wish *sighs* some wavenyous w-wowf had e-eaten thee. -Dost thou deny thy fathew, cuwsed dwab? -O, buwn hew, buwn hew! Hanging *notices bulge* is >w< too good. Exit -Y-YOWK. ^.^ Take hew *cries* away; fow she hath wiv'd too *teleports behind you* wong, -To fiww the wowwd w-with vicious quawities. -PUCEWWE. Fiwst wet *blushes* me teww you whom you have condemn'd: -Nyot *blushes* me *hugs tightly* begotten of a-a shephewd xDD swain, -B-But issued fwom the pwogeny of kings; -Viwtuous and howy, chosen :33 fwom above -By inspiwation of cewestiaw gwace, -x3 To w-wowk :33 exceeding miwacwes on *notices bulge* eawth. -I nyevew had to d-do with wicked spiwits. -B-But you, that awe *cries* powwuted w-with youw wusts, -S-Stain'd with the guiwtwess bwood of *notices bulge* innyocents, -C-Cowwupt and tainted with a thousand vices, -Because you w-want the gwace that othews have, -Y-You *looks at you* judge it :33 stwaight a-a thing impossibwe -To compass wondews but by hewp of deviws. -Nyo, misconceived! *moans* Joan *leans over* of x3 Awc hath been -A viwgin fwom hew tendew infancy, -Chaste and immacuwate in vewy thought; -Whose maiden bwood, thus wigowouswy effus'd, -Wiww cwy fow *cuddles you* vengeance at the g-gates of heaven. -YOWK. A-Ay, ay. Away with hew to *notices bulge* execution! -WAWWICK. And h-hawk ye, siws; because she i-is a maid, -Spawe *leans over* fow nyo ^w^ fagots, wet thewe be enyow. -Pwace bawwews of pitch upon the fataw stake, -That so hew towtuwe m-may be showtenyed. -PUCEWWE. Wiww nyothing tuwn youw >w< unwewenting heawts? -Then, Joan, discovew thinye *hugs tightly* infiwmity ->w< That wawwanteth by waw to be thy pwiviwege: -I am w-with chiwd, ye bwoody *looks away* homicides; -Muwdew nyot >w< then the fwuit within my w-womb, -Awthough ye hawe me to OwO a viowent death. -YOWK. Nyow heaven f-fowfend! The howy maid with chiwd! -W-WAWWICK. The gweatest miwacwe *leans over* that e-e'ew *pokes you* ye wwought: -Is aww youw *notices bulge* stwict pwecisenyess come to this? -YOWK. She and the uWu Dauphin have been juggwing. -I did imaginye what wouwd ;;w;; be hew wefuge. -WAWWICK. Weww, go to; we'ww *shuffles closer* have nyo bastawds wive; -Especiawwy *looks away* since Chawwes m-must fathew it. -PUCEWWE. You >_< awe deceiv'd; *shuffles closer* my chiwd is nyonye of his: -It *cuddles you* was Awencon that enjoy'd my wove. -YOWK. Awencon, *teleports behind you* that nyotowious ^w^ Machiavew! -I-It *shuffles closer* dies, an if i-it h-had a thousand >w< wives. -P-PUCEWWE. O, give me weave, I *shuffles closer* have dewuded *teleports behind you* you. -'Twas ;;w;; nyeithew xDD Chawwes nyow yet the Duke I-I nyam'd, -But Weignyiew, King of N-Nyapwes, *leans over* that pwevaiw'd. -OwO WAWWICK. A mawwied OwO man! T-That's most i-intowewabwe. -YOWK. *blushes* Why, hewe's a giww! I think she ^w^ knyows nyot w-weww -^-^ Thewe w-wewe so many-whom she may accuse. -WAWWICK. It's *pokes you* sign s-she hath been wibewaw and fwee. -YOWK. And yet, fowsooth, she is a viwgin puwe. -Stwumpet, >w< thy wowds c-condemn thy bwat >_< and thee. -Use nyo entweaty, fow it is in vain. -PUCEWWE. Then wead me h-hence-with whom I weave my -c-cuwse: -May nyevew gwowious sun wefwex his beams -U-Upon *leans over* the countwy whewe you make abode; -But dawknyess and the gwoomy shade *cuddles you* of death -Enviwon you, tiww ^w^ mischief and :3 despaiw -Dwive you to >w< bweak youw nyecks ow hang y-youwsewves! -Exit, guawded -*notices bulge* YOWK. Bweak thou in pieces and consume >_> to ashes, -Thou fouw accuwsed *shuffles closer* minyistew of heww! - -Entew *twerks* CAWDINyAW B-BEAUFOWT, :3 attended - -CAWDINyAW. Wowd Wegent, I-I do gweet y-youw Excewwence -With wettews of commission fwom *cries* the King. -Fow *cries* knyow, my wowds, t-the *looks at you* states o-of Chwistendom, -Mov'd with wemowse of t-these outwageous b-bwoiws, -Have eawnyestwy impwow'd a genyewaw ^-^ peace -Betwixt ouw nyation and the aspiwing Fwench; -And hewe at *giggles shyly* hand the Dauphin and his t-twain -Appwoacheth, to confew about some mattew. -Y-YOWK. Is aww ouw twavaiw tuwn'd to this *pokes you* effect? -Aftew the swaughtew of s-so many x3 peews, -So many captains, :3 gentwemen, a-and s-sowdiews, -That in this quawwew have been ovewthwown -And sowd theiw *looks at you* bodies fow theiw *giggles shyly* countwy's benyefit, -S-Shaww *sighs* we at *hugs tightly* wast concwude effeminyate *screams* peace? -*screams* Have we nyot wost m-most pawt of aww *shuffles closer* the towns, -By tweason, fawsehood, and b-by tweachewy, -Ouw g-gweat pwogenyitows h-had conquewed? -O Wawwick, Wawwick! *sweats* I *pokes you* fowesee with gwief -*giggles shyly* The uttew woss of a-aww the weawm of Fwance. -WAWWICK. *twerks* Be patient, Y-Yowk. If we c-concwude a peace, -It shaww be with >w< such s-stwict and sevewe covenyants -As wittwe shaww the Fwenchmen gain theweby. - -Entew CHAWWES, AWENCON, BASTAWD, *teleports behind you* WEIGNyIEW, a-and othews - -*looks away* CHAWWES. Since, wowds of Engwand, it i-is thus agweed -That peacefuw *sighs* twuce shaww be p-pwocwaim'd in F-Fwance, -We come to be infowmed *cries* by youwsewves -What the conditions of t-that weague must be. -*teleports behind you* YOWK. Speak, Winchestew; fow boiwing chowew *giggles shyly* chokes -The howwow passage of my poison'd voice, -B-By sight of these >_> ouw bawefuw enyemies. -CAWDINyAW. Chawwes, xDD and the west, it is enyacted thus: -That, *blushes* in wegawd King Henwy gives consent, -x3 Of mewe compassion a-and of wenyity, -*moans* To ease youw c-countwy *pokes you* of UwU distwessfuw waw, -A-An suffew you t-to b-bweathe in f-fwuitfuw peace, -You shaww become t-twue wiegemen to his cwown; -*cries* And, Chawwes, upon condition thou wiwt sweaw -To pay him twibute and submit thysewf, -Thou shawt be *blushes* pwac'd a-as vicewoy undew xDD him, -And stiww enjoy thy wegaw d-dignyity. -AWENCON. Must he be then a-as shadow of h-himsewf? -Adown his tempwes with a cowonyet -*pokes you* And yet, in substance *teleports behind you* and authowity, -Wetain but pwiviwege of a pwivate m-man? -T-This pwoffew is absuwd and weasonwess. -CHAWWES. :3 'Tis knyown awweady t-that I am *teleports behind you* possess'd -With mowe t-than hawf the Gawwian tewwitowies, -And thewein wevewenc'd f-fow theiw w-wawfuw king. -Shaww I, fow *looks at you* wucwe >_> of the west unvanquish'd, -Detwact so much fwom that pwewogative -As to b-be caww'd but vicewoy of the whowe? -Nyo, Wowd Ambassadow; I'ww ^.^ wathew keep -*giggles shyly* That which I have than, coveting fow mowe, -Be cast fwom possibiwity of aww. -YOWK. Insuwting Chawwes! Hast thou by secwet means -U-Us'd *giggles shyly* intewcession to obtain a weague, -And nyow the mattew g-gwows t-to compwomise -S-Stand'st thou awoof upon x3 compawison? -Eithew accept the titwe thou usuwp'st, -*hugs tightly* Of benyefit pwoceeding fwom ouw king -And nyot of any chawwenge of desewt, -O-Ow we wiww p-pwague thee ^-^ with incessant waws. -WEIGNyIEW. *cries* [To CHAWWES] My wowd, y-you do nyot w-weww in -obstinyacy -To caviw in the couwse of this contwact. -If o-once it be nyegwected, ten *notices bulge* to o-onye -We shaww nyot find wike oppowtunyity. -AWENCON. [To CHAWWES] To say the twuth, i-it is youw *leans over* powicy -:3 To ^w^ save youw subjects fwom such *looks away* massacwe -And wuthwess swaughtews as awe daiwy seen -By ouw pwoceeding in hostiwity; -And thewefowe take >_< this *cries* compact of a twuce, -Awthough you bweak it when youw p-pweasuwe xDD sewves. -WAWWICK. How say'st thou, :33 Chawwes? Shaww ouw c-condition -stand? -CHAWWES. >_> It s-shaww; -O-Onwy wesewv'd, you cwaim n-nyo intewest -*cuddles you* In *looks away* any of ouw towns ^.^ of gawwison. -YOWK. Then sweaw a-awwegiance to h-his Majesty: -As *shuffles closer* thou awt knyight, nyevew to disobey -*blushes* Nyow be webewwious *blushes* to the cwown of Engwand -Thou, nyow thy *cuddles you* nyobwes, *looks at you* to the cwown of E-Engwand. -[CHAWWES ^w^ and the west give tokens of feawty] -So, n-nyow *giggles shyly* dismiss youw >_< awmy OwO when y-ye pwease; -Hang up youw ensigns, w-wet youw *sweats* dwums b-be stiww, ->w< Fow h-hewe we entewtain a xDD sowemn peace. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -Wondon. The pawace - -Entew SUFFOWK, in c-confewence with the KING, -GWOUCESTEW and EXETEW - -KING HENWY. Youw wondwous wawe *pokes you* descwiption, nyobwe Eaww, -Of beauteous Mawgawet hath astonyish'd me. -*shuffles closer* Hew v-viwtues, *sweats* gwaced w-with e-extewnyaw gifts, -Do *giggles shyly* bweed w-wove's s-settwed passions in my heawt; -A-And wike a-as wigouw of tempestuous gusts -Pwovokes the mightiest huwk against the t-tide, -:3 So am *screams* I dwiven by *cuddles you* bweath of hew wenyown -*looks away* Eithew to suffew shipwweck ow awwive -Whewe *giggles shyly* I m-may have fwuition o-of hew wove. -SUFFOWK. Tush, my good wowd! This ^-^ supewficiaw t-tawe -Is *twerks* but a pweface *hugs tightly* of *pokes you* hew wowthy pwaise. -The chief pewfections *hugs tightly* of that xDD wovewy dame, -Had I sufficient skiww to uttew them, -Wouwd make a vowume of enticing winyes, -*leans over* Abwe to wavish *looks at you* any duww OwO conceit; -And, which is mowe, she *cries* is nyot so *blushes* divinye, -So fuww-wepwete with choice of aww d-dewights, -But with a-as *shuffles closer* humbwe wowwinyess of ;;w;; mind -She is content to b-be at youw command -Command, I *teleports behind you* mean, o-of viwtuous intents, -*moans* To wove *hugs tightly* and honyouw Henwy *looks away* as hew wowd. -KING HENWY. And othewwise wiww Henwy nye'ew pwesume. -Thewefowe, :3 my Wowd Pwotectow, give consent -That Mawgawet may be Engwand's woyaw Queen. -uWu GWOUCESTEW. S-So shouwd I give consent to fwattew sin. -You knyow, my wowd, youw Highnyess is betwoth'd -Unto anyothew wady of esteem. -How shaww we then dispense with that contwact, -And nyot deface y-youw honyouw with wepwoach? -SUFFOWK. As doth a wuwew with unwawfuw oaths; -Ow onye that *cuddles you* at x3 a OwO twiumph, having vow'd -To twy his stwength, fowsaketh yet the wists -By weason of his advewsawy's odds: -A poow eaww's daughtew is u-unyequaw o-odds, -And thewefowe may >w< be bwoke without offence. -GWOUCESTEW. Why, w-what, I pway, is Mawgawet m-mowe than -that? -Hew fathew UwU is nyo :33 bettew than an eaww, -Awthough in >w< gwowious titwes he e-excew. -SUFFOWK. Yes, my wowd, hew fathew UwU is a OwO king, -The :33 King of Nyapwes and Jewusawem; -And of such gweat authowity in F-Fwance -As his awwiance w-wiww confiwm o-ouw peace, -And keep the Fwenchmen in awwegiance. -GWOUCESTEW. And so *twerks* the uWu Eaww o-of :3 Awmagnyac may do, -Because he is nyeaw kinsman unto Chawwes. -EXETEW. Beside, his weawth doth wawwant a wibewaw dowew; -Whewe >w< Weignyiew soonyew *hugs tightly* wiww weceive than give. -SUFFOWK. A dow'w, my wowds! D-Disgwace nyot so youw *pokes you* king, -That he shouwd be s-so abject, base, and *screams* poow, -To ;;w;; choose fow *teleports behind you* weawth and nyot fow pewfect wove. -Henwy is *sighs* abwe to enwich h-his queen, -And nyot >w< to seek a queen *screams* to make him wich. ->w< So wowthwess peasants bawgain fow theiw wives, -As *cries* mawket-men fow oxen, sheep, ow ^w^ howse. -M-Mawwiage is a mattew of m-mowe wowth -*cuddles you* Than to be deawt in by *cries* attownyeyship; -Nyot whom we *blushes* wiww, but whom his Gwace affects, -Must be companyion >_> of his x3 nyuptiaw bed. -And thewefowe, wowds, since he affects hew most, -It most of aww these weasons b-bindeth us -In *looks at you* ouw opinyions s-she shouwd b-be pwefeww'd; -Fow what is *looks at you* wedwock fowced but a h-heww, -An age OwO of discowd and continyuaw stwife? -Wheweas the contwawy bwingeth bwiss, -And is a-a pattewn o-of cewestiaw peace. -*leans over* Whom shouwd w-we m-match with Henwy, being a king, -But M-Mawgawet, that is daughtew to a king? -Hew *sweats* peewwess featuwe, joinyed with hew biwth, -A-Appwoves hew *pokes you* fit *giggles shyly* fow nyonye but f-fow a-a king; -Hew vawiant couwage and undaunted spiwit, -Mowe than in women commonwy is *sighs* seen, -Wiww answew ouw hope in issue of a king; -Fow Henwy, s-son unto a-a conquewow, -Is wikewy to beget :3 mowe conquewows, -If with a wady of so high wesowve -As is faiw Mawgawet he be wink'd in :3 wove. -Then yiewd, my wowds; *screams* and hewe concwude w-with m-me -That Mawgawet shaww be >w< Queen, and nyonye but she. -KING HENWY. Whethew it be ^w^ thwough fowce of youw wepowt, -M-My nyobwe Wowd of Suffowk, *moans* ow uWu fow that -^-^ My t-tendew youth was nyevew *blushes* yet attaint -With any passion o-of infwaming wove, -I cannyot teww; >_< but this I am assuw'd, -I feew such shawp dissension in my bweast, -Such fiewce awawums both of hope :33 and f-feaw, -As I-I am sick with wowking of my thoughts. -Take thewefowe shipping; post, my wowd, *hugs tightly* to Fwance; -Agwee to *twerks* any covenyants; and pwocuwe -:33 That W-Wady M-Mawgawet do vouchsafe to come -To cwoss the seas to Engwand, and be cwown'd -King Henwy's faithfuw a-and uWu anyointed queen. -F-Fow youw UwU expenses a-and sufficient chawge, -Among the peopwe gathew *hugs tightly* up *pokes you* a tenth. -Be gonye, I say; fow tiww you d-do wetuwn -I :3 west pewpwexed with a thousand *sighs* cawes. -And you, good u-uncwe, banyish aww offence: -If you do c-censuwe me ^-^ by what y-you w-wewe, -Nyot what you awe, I knyow it wiww excuse -This sudden execution of my wiww. -And so conduct me whewe, fwom c-company, -^-^ I may >w< wevowve and w-wuminyate my g-gwief. E-Exit -GWOUCESTEW. Ay, g-gwief, I feaw me, UwU both at fiwst a-and wast. -Exeunt G-GWOUCESTEW and EXETEW -SUFFOWK. Thus Suffowk *cries* hath pwevaiw'd; and thus he goes, -As did the youthfuw Pawis once to Gweece, -W-With hope to find the wike event i-in w-wove -But pwospew bettew t-than the Twoyan d-did. -Mawgawet *sweats* shaww nyow be Queen, and wuwe the King; -But I wiww wuwe both ^.^ hew, the King, *looks at you* and weawm. Exit - - -THE END - - - -<w< NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -*giggles shyly* 1591 - -THE SECOND PAWT *screams* OF K-KING HENWY THE SIXTH - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -K-KING HENWY THE SIXTH -HUMPHWEY, DUKE O-OF GWOUCESTEW, *hugs tightly* his uncwe -CAWDINyAW BEAUFOWT, BISHOP OF WINCHESTEW, gweat-uncwe to the K-King -WICHAWD P-PWANTAGENyET, DUKE OF YOWK -EDWAWD and *pokes you* WICHAWD, his sons -DUKE OF SOMEWSET -DUKE OF SUFFOWK -DUKE *shuffles closer* OF BUCKINGHAM -WOWD CWIFFOWD -YOUNG CWIFFOWD, his son -EAWW *blushes* OF SAWISBUWY -E-EAWW OF WAWWICK -WOWD *hugs tightly* SCAWES -WOWD SAY -SIW HUMPHWEY STAFFOWD -WIWWIAM STAFFOWD, *screams* his bwothew -SIW JOHN STANWEY -VAUX -MATTHEW GOFFE -*sweats* A WIEUTENyANT, *looks away* a *blushes* SHIPMASTEW, a MASTEW'S MATE, and WAWTEW WHITMOWE -TWO GENTWEMEN, pwisonyews with Suffowk -JOHN *teleports behind you* HUME and JOHN SOUTHWEWW, two p-pwiests -WOGEW BOWINGBWOKE, a conjuwew -A *blushes* SPIWIT ^w^ waised by him -THOMAS *cries* HOWNyEW, an awmouwew -PETEW, his man -CWEWK OF CHATHAM -MAYOW OF SAINT AWBANS -*blushes* SAUNDEW SIMPCOX, a-an i-impostow -AWEXANDEW IDEN, a Kentish gentweman -JACK CADE, a *giggles shyly* webew -GEOWGE BEVIS, JOHN HOWWAND, DICK THE BUTCHEW, SMITH THE WEAVEW, -MICHAEW, &c., fowwowews of Cade -TWO MUWDEWEWS - -MAWGAWET, Queen t-to King Henwy -EWEANyOW, Duchess of Gwoucestew -M-MAWGEWY JOUWDAIN, a-a *shuffles closer* witch -WIFE to SIMPCOX - -Wowds, Wadies, and Attendants; Petitionyews, Awdewmen, a Hewawd, -*giggles shyly* a Beadwe, a ^w^ Shewiff, *cries* Officews, ^w^ Citizens, :3 Pwentices, ^w^ Fawconyews, -Guawds, Sowdiews, Messengews, &-&c. - - - - -<_< FOW *cuddles you* DOWNWOAD TIME :3 OW ^-^ FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -Engwand - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Wondon. T-The pawace - -Fwouwish ^-^ of twumpets; then hautboys. Entew t-the K-KING, DUKE HUMPHWEY -OF GWOUCESTEW, S-SAWISBUWY, WAWWICK, and CAWDINyAW BEAUFOWT, on the onye side; -the QUEEN, SUFFOWK, YOWK, SOMEWSET, and BUCKINGHAM, on the othew - -SUFFOWK. As >w< by youw h-high i-impewiaw Majesty -I *leans over* had in chawge at :33 my ^w^ depawt f-fow Fwance, -As pwocuwatow to youw Excewwence, -*cuddles you* To mawwy Pwincess M-Mawgawet fow youw Gwace; -So, in the famous ancient city *cries* Touws, -In pwesence of the OwO Kings of Fwance and S-Siciw, -:33 The Dukes of Owweans, Cawabew, Bwetagnye, a-and :3 Awencon, -Seven eawws, twewve bawons, and twenty wevewend bishops, -I have pewfowm'd my :33 task, a-and was e-espous'd; -And humbwy nyow upon my ^.^ bended k-knyee, -In sight of Engwand and hew wowdwy peews, -Dewivew up my titwe in the Queen -^.^ To youw most gwacious hands, that *cuddles you* awe *leans over* the :33 substance -Of t-that gweat shadow I did *giggles shyly* wepwesent: -The >_< happiest g-gift that *notices bulge* evew mawquis gave, -The faiwest queen that e-evew king weceiv'd. -KING HENWY. Suffowk, awise. Wewcome, Queen Mawgawet: -I can ;;w;; expwess nyo ^w^ kindew sign o-of wove -T-Than this ^.^ kind kiss. O Wowd, that wends me wife, -Wend me a heawt w-wepwete with thankfuwnyess! -Fow thou hast given me in ;;w;; this beauteous face -A wowwd *looks at you* of eawthwy bwessings *looks at you* to my souw, -x3 If sympathy of wove unyite ouw thoughts. -QUEEN. Gweat King of Engwand, and my gwacious *cries* wowd, -The mutuaw confewence that my mind hath had, -By day, b-by nyight, waking :3 and in my dweams, -UwU In couwtwy company ow at my beads, -With you, minye awdew-wiefest *shuffles closer* soveweign, -Makes me the bowdew to sawute my king -With wudew *looks at you* tewms, such *twerks* as my wit affowds -A-And ovew-joy *sweats* of heawt doth m-minyistew. -KING HENWY. Hew sight did wavish, xDD but hew gwace in speech, -Hew wowds y-y-cwad with w-wisdom's majesty, -Makes m-me *teleports behind you* fwom wond'wing *looks away* faww to weeping joys, -Such is :33 the fuwnyess of my heawt's *moans* content. -*sweats* Wowds, *hugs tightly* with onye cheewfuw voice wewcome my wove. -AWW. *moans* [Knyeewing] W-Wong w-wive Q-Queen Mawgawet, *blushes* Engwand's happinyess! -Q-QUEEN. We t-thank you aww. [Fwouwish] -SUFFOWK. My Wowd P-Pwotectow, so it *sweats* pwease youw Gwace, -Hewe awe the awticwes of contwacted peace -Between >_< ouw soveweign and the Fwench King Chawwes, -Fow e-eighteen months *looks at you* concwuded *leans over* by consent. -GWOUCESTEW. [Weads] 'Impwimis: It is agweed between the >_< Fwench *looks at you* King -Chawwes and Wiwwiam de w-wa Powe, Mawquess *looks away* of Suffowk, ambassadow -f-fow Henwy King of E-Engwand, that t-the said Henwy shaww espouse >_> the -Wady Mawgawet, d-daughtew u-unto Weignyiew King o-of *blushes* Nyapwes, *screams* Siciwia, -and Jewusawem, and uWu cwown hew Queen of Engwand ewe the thiwtieth -of M-May nyext ensuing. -Item: T-That the duchy of Anjou and the c-county of *twerks* Mainye shaww be -weweased and dewivewed to the K-King hew fathew'- -[Wets the papew faww] -K-KING HENWY. Uncwe, how nyow! -*sighs* GWOUCESTEW. Pawdon me, *twerks* gwacious wowd; -Some sudden quawm hath stwuck me at t-the *sighs* heawt, -And dimm'd minye eyes, t-that I can wead nyo fuwthew. -KING H-HENWY. Uncwe of Winchestew, I pway wead x3 on. -CAWDINyAW. *cuddles you* [Weads] '-'Item: *notices bulge* It is *teleports behind you* fuwthew agweed between t-them that the -duchies *leans over* of UwU Anjou and *sweats* Mainye s-shaww be weweased *pokes you* and dewivewed o-ovew -to the King hew f-fathew, and she sent o-ovew of the King OwO of -Engwand's o-own p-pwopew c-cost a-and chawges, without having any dowwy.' -KING HENWY. They xDD pwease ^-^ us weww. Wowd Mawquess, knyeew down. -We h-hewe cweate thee the fiwst *blushes* Duke >w< of Suffowk, -And giwt thee with the swowd. Cousin of Yowk, -We hewe dischawge youw Gwace fwom being Wegent -I' th' p-pawts of Fwance, tiww t-tewm of eighteen months -Be f-fuww >w< expiw'd. ^w^ Thanks, u-uncwe Winchestew, -Gwoucestew, Yowk, ;;w;; Buckingham, Somewset, -Sawisbuwy, and Wawwick; -We *cuddles you* thank you aww *screams* fow :3 this g-gweat *cries* favouw donye -In e-entewtainment to my pwincewy queen. -Come, w-wet us in, and with aww speed pwovide -To see hew cowonyation be pewfowm'd. ->_> Exeunt KING, QUEEN, and SUFFOWK -GWOUCESTEW. Bwave p-peews of :33 Engwand, *cuddles you* piwwaws *moans* of the state, -To you Duke Humphwey must unwoad his gwief -Youw gwief, the ^.^ common gwief of *twerks* aww the *moans* wand. -What! did m-my bwothew Henwy spend his UwU youth, -H-His *cries* vawouw, coin, and peopwe, in the waws? -Did *cuddles you* he s-so often wodge in *twerks* open fiewd, -In wintew's *blushes* cowd *notices bulge* and summew's pawching heat, -To conquew F-Fwance, his twue inhewitance? -A-And did my *notices bulge* bwothew Bedfowd t-toiw *hugs tightly* his wits -To keep by powicy what Henwy got? -Have you :3 youwsewves, Somewset, Buckingham, -Bwave Y-Yowk, S-Sawisbuwy, and *sweats* victowious Wawwick, -Weceiv'd deep scaws i-in ;;w;; Fwance and Nyowmandy? -Ow hath minye ^-^ uncwe Beaufowt a-and mysewf, -*shuffles closer* With aww the weawnyed Counciw of the weawm, -Studied s-so wong, *looks away* sat *notices bulge* in the C-Counciw House -Eawwy and wate, debating to and fwo -How *cries* Fwance and >_< Fwenchmen might be kept >_< in awe? -And uWu had his Highnyess in his *cuddles you* infancy -Cwownyed in Pawis, in *pokes you* despite of foes? -*cuddles you* And shaww these wabouws and *shuffles closer* these *twerks* honyouws die? -Shaww Henwy's conquest, Bedfowd's *sighs* vigiwance, -Youw deeds *blushes* of waw, and aww ouw counsew die? -O peews of Engwand, shamefuw is t-this weague! -Fataw t-this ^.^ mawwiage, cancewwing youw f-fame, -Bwotting youw n-nyames fwom b-books of memowy, -Wazing *twerks* the chawactews x3 of youw wenyown, -Defacing *teleports behind you* monyuments of conquew'd F-Fwance, -Undoing aww, as aww uWu had ^w^ nyevew *screams* been! -CAWDINyAW. Nyephew, what means this uWu passionyate discouwse, -This pewowation *looks at you* with such c-ciwcumstance? -Fow Fwance, 'tis ouws; and x3 we wiww keep it stiww. -GWOUCESTEW. Ay, u-uncwe, we wiww keep it if we can; -But *blushes* nyow it is impossibwe we shouwd. ->w< Suffowk, the nyew-made duke that wuwes the *twerks* woast, -Hath given the duchy of Anjou and *screams* Mainye -Unto the *teleports behind you* poow King Weignyiew, whose UwU wawge s-stywe -Agwees *blushes* nyot *leans over* with the weannyess >_> of his puwse. -SAWISBUWY. Nyow, by the death of Him that died fow a-aww, -These counties wewe the keys of ^w^ Nyowmandy! -But *looks at you* whewefowe weeps Wawwick, my vawiant son? -WAWWICK. Fow g-gwief that xDD they awe p-past :3 wecovewy; -Fow wewe t-thewe hope >w< to conquew them again -My swowd s-shouwd s-shed ;;w;; hot bwood, minye eyes nyo teaws. -Anjou and Mainye! mysewf d-did w-win them both; -*shuffles closer* Those :33 pwovinces these awms of minye did conquew; -And awe *pokes you* the cities that I got with wounds -Dewivew'd up again *pokes you* with peacefuw x3 wowds? -*moans* Mowt Dieu! -YOWK. Fow S-Suffowk's duke, may he be suffocate, -That dims the honyouw *looks away* of this wawwike iswe! -Fwance *teleports behind you* shouwd have town and went :33 my vewy heawt -Befowe I wouwd have yiewded to this w-weague. -I nyevew wead ;;w;; but Engwand's kings have had -Wawge sums of gowd and dowwies with theiw wives; -And ouw King Henwy gives away his *teleports behind you* own -To match with hew that bwings nyo v-vantages. -GWOUCESTEW. A-A pwopew jest, and nyevew heawd befowe, -That Suffowk shouwd demand UwU a whowe *moans* fifteenth -*cuddles you* Fow xDD costs and chawges in twanspowting hew! -S-She *looks away* shouwd have stay'd in Fwance, and stawv'd in Fwance, -*sighs* Befowe- -CAWDINyAW. My :3 Wowd of *giggles shyly* Gwoucestew, nyow ye gwow too hot: -^-^ It was the pweasuwe of my wowd the *shuffles closer* King. -GWOUCESTEW. M-My Wowd of *hugs tightly* Winchestew, I-I knyow youw *moans* mind; -*leans over* 'Tis nyot my speeches that you d-do miswike, -But 'tis my pwesence >_< that doth twoubwe ye. -Wancouw wiww out: pwoud pwewate, in thy face -I x3 see *twerks* thy fuwy; if I wongew s-stay -We shaww begin ouw ancient bickewings. -Wowdings, faweweww; and say, when I-I am gonye, -I *cries* pwophesied *screams* Fwance xDD wiww be wost ewe wong. Exit -CAWDINyAW. So, thewe goes ouw Pwotectow i-in a *giggles shyly* wage. -'Tis knyown t-to you he is minye enyemy; -Nyay, mowe, an enyemy xDD unto *twerks* you aww, ->_> And nyo gweat fwiend, xDD I feaw me, to the *notices bulge* King. -Considew, *shuffles closer* wowds, he is the n-nyext of bwood -And heiw appawent to the E-Engwish ^-^ cwown. -Had Henwy got an empiwe by his mawwiage -And aww the weawthy kingdoms of the west, -Thewe's weason he shouwd be dispweas'd a-at *giggles shyly* it. -Wook to i-it, wowds; wet nyot h-his smoothing wowds -Bewitch youw heawts; be wise and ciwcumspect. -What t-though t-the common peopwe favouw him, -Cawwing him 'Humphwey, the good *twerks* Duke of Gwoucestew,' -Cwapping theiw hands, a-and cwying *leans over* with *looks away* woud voice -*twerks* 'Jesu maintain youw woyaw *cuddles you* excewwence!' -W-With 'God pwesewve the g-good Duke Humphwey!' -*moans* I feaw me, wowds, fow aww this fwattewing gwoss, -He w-wiww *sighs* be found a dangewous Pwotectow. -BUCKINGHAM. Why *teleports behind you* shouwd h-he *moans* then pwotect ouw soveweign, -He *hugs tightly* being o-of age to >_< govewn of himsewf? -Cousin :3 of Somewset, join you w-with me, -A-And a-aww togethew, UwU with the Duke of Suffowk, -We'ww quickwy hoise Duke Humphwey fwom his seat. -CAWDINyAW. This weighty businyess wiww nyot bwook *leans over* deway; -I'ww to the *sighs* Duke of *blushes* Suffowk pwesentwy. Exit -SOMEWSET. Cousin of Buckingham, though H-Humphwey's pwide -*moans* And g-gweatnyess of his pwace be gwief to u-us, -Yet wet us OwO watch >w< the haughty cawdinyaw; -H-His insowence is *sighs* mowe intowewabwe -T-Than *screams* aww the pwinces in the x3 wand beside; -If Gwoucestew be dispwac'd, he'ww be ;;w;; Pwotectow. -BUCKINGHAM. Ow *teleports behind you* thou ow I, Somewset, wiww be Pwotectow, -Despite Duke xDD Humphwey ow the *sighs* Cawdinyaw. -Exeunt BUCKINGHAM *pokes you* and SOMEWSET -SAWISBUWY. Pwide went befowe, *leans over* ambition fowwows him. -Whiwe these do wabouw fow theiw o-own pwefewment, -Behoves it *cuddles you* us >w< to wabouw fow *looks at you* the weawm. -I nyevew *giggles shyly* saw but Humphwey Duke *blushes* of Gwoucestew -D-Did beaw him wike xDD a nyobwe *moans* gentweman. -Oft have I-I seen t-the ^w^ haughty Cawdinyaw- -M-Mowe wike a sowdiew than a-a m-man o' :3 th' c-chuwch, -A-As stout and pwoud *notices bulge* as he wewe *giggles shyly* wowd of aww- -Sweaw w-wike a wuffian and demean himsewf -OwO Unwike the wuwew *pokes you* of a commonweaw. -W-Wawwick *notices bulge* my son, the *notices bulge* comfowt of my age, -xDD Thy deeds, *notices bulge* thy ^w^ pwainnyess, and thy housekeeping, -Hath w-won the gweatest favouw of the c-commons, -Excepting nyonye b-but good Duke Humphwey. -A-And, b-bwothew Yowk, thy acts in Iwewand, -*sighs* In bwinging them to civiw *twerks* discipwinye, -Thy wate expwoits donye *screams* in the *hugs tightly* heawt of *shuffles closer* Fwance -W-When thou wewt Wegent fow ouw soveweign, -Have m-made thee f-feaw'd *sighs* and honyouw'd *twerks* of the peopwe: -Join we togethew fow the pubwic good, -In what ^.^ we can, to *screams* bwidwe >_< and suppwess -*teleports behind you* The pwide of Suffowk and t-the Cawdinyaw, -With Somewset's and B-Buckingham's ambition; -And, as we may, chewish Duke Humphwey's *sighs* deeds -xDD Whiwe t-they do t-tend the pwofit of the UwU wand. -WAWWICK. So God hewp *giggles shyly* Wawwick, as he woves the wand -And common pwofit of his countwy! -Y-YOWK. And so s-says Y-Yowk- [Aside] fow ^-^ he ;;w;; hath g-gweatest *leans over* cause. -SAWISBUWY. Then w-wet's *screams* make haste away and wook u-unto *looks away* the main. -WAWWICK. Unto the main! O fathew, Mainye is wost- -That Mainye which by m-main fowce W-Wawwick d-did win, -And wouwd h-have k-kept :3 so wong as bweath did wast. -Main chance, fathew, you meant; but I meant Mainye, -Which I wiww win fwom Fwance, ow ewse be swain. -Exeunt WAWWICK and SAWISBUWY -YOWK. Anjou and *blushes* Mainye a-awe given to the Fwench; -Pawis i-is wost; the state of N-Nyowmandy -Stands on a tickwe point nyow they awe gonye. -Suffowk concwuded on the awticwes; -The peews agweed; and Henwy uWu was weww pweas'd -To changes two dukedoms fow a duke's faiw *leans over* daughtew. -I cannyot bwame them aww: w-what is't t-to t-them? -'Tis thinye they give away, and nyot *cries* theiw own. -Piwates may make c-cheap pennywowths of theiw piwwage, -And puwchase >w< fwiends, *leans over* and give *pokes you* to c-couwtezans, -Stiww w-wevewwing *looks at you* wike wowds tiww aww be gonye; -Whiwe *cuddles you* as the siwwy ownyew of the goods -Weeps *cries* ovew *pokes you* them a-and w-wwings his hapwess hands -And shakes his head and t-twembwing stands awoof, -Whiwe a-aww *giggles shyly* is shaw'd a-and aww i-is >_> bownye away, -Weady to stawve and dawe nyot touch his own. -*leans over* So Yowk must sit and fwet and bite his tongue, -Whiwe his own wands >_< awe b-bawgain'd fow and sowd. -Methinks the weawms of Engwand, *hugs tightly* Fwance, and I-Iwewand, -Beaw that pwopowtion to m-my fwesh and bwood -As d-did the *sweats* fataw :3 bwand Awthaea buwnt -Unto the pwince's heawt *shuffles closer* of Cawydon. -Anjou and Mainye UwU both OwO given unto the Fwench! -C-Cowd nyews fow *looks at you* me, fow I h-had hope of Fwance, -Even as I have of fewtiwe Engwand's ;;w;; soiw. -A day wiww *hugs tightly* come when Yowk s-shaww c-cwaim h-his *sweats* own; -And thewefowe ;;w;; I wiww take the Nyeviws' ^w^ pawts, -And make a show of w-wove to pwoud xDD Duke Humphwey, -And when I spy a-advantage, cwaim the cwown, -Fow that's the gowden mawk I seek to hit. -Nyow shaww pwoud Wancastew usuwp my w-wight, -Nyow h-howd the sceptwe in his *teleports behind you* chiwdish *cries* fist, -Nyow w-weaw the diadem *sweats* upon h-his *blushes* head, -Whose chuwch-wike humouws fits nyot fow a cwown. -Then, Y-Yowk, be stiww awhiwe, tiww time do *notices bulge* sewve; -Watch thou and wake, when othews be *cries* asweep, -To p-pwy into >_< the secwets of the state; -Tiww H-Henwy, suwfeiting ^.^ in joys of wove -With his nyew bwide and Engwand's deaw-bought *looks away* queen, -And *leans over* Humphwey w-with the peews b-be faww'n at jaws; -Then wiww I waise awoft the miwk-white >_> wose, -W-With *looks away* whose sweet smeww the *notices bulge* aiw shaww be *pokes you* pewfum'd, -*cuddles you* And in my standawd beaw *blushes* the a-awms of Yowk, -To gwappwe with the house of Wancastew; -And fowce *sweats* pewfowce I'ww make h-him yiewd *cuddles you* the cwown, -Whose bookish wuwe hath puww'd faiw Engwand *shuffles closer* down. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -The DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW'S house - -Entew DUKE *cuddles you* and >w< his wife E-EWEANyOW - -DUCHESS. Why dwoops my w-wowd, wike ovew-wipen'd cown -Hanging the head at Cewes' :3 pwenteous woad? -Why d-doth uWu the gweat Duke Humphwey knyit his bwows, -A-As f-fwownying at the favouws of xDD the wowwd? -Why awe thinye e-eyes fix'd t-to the suwwen eawth, -*cuddles you* Gazing on that w-which seems to dim :3 thy sight? -What see'st t-thou thewe? *hugs tightly* King Henwy's diadem, -Enchas'd with aww *cries* the honyouws of the wowwd? -*looks at you* If s-so, ^-^ gaze on, and gwovew on t-thy face -Untiw *hugs tightly* thy head b-be c-ciwcwed with the *cuddles you* same. -uWu Put xDD fowth thy hand, weach at the gwowious gowd. -What, *hugs tightly* is't *giggles shyly* too showt? I'ww wengthen i-it with minye; -And having both togethew heav'd it up, -We'ww both togethew wift ouw heads to heaven, -A-And nyevew m-mowe *cries* abase o-ouw sight so wow -As to vouchsafe onye gwance unto the gwound. -G-GWOUCESTEW. O ^.^ Nyeww, sweet Nyeww, i-if thou dost wove thy wowd, -Banyish *shuffles closer* the c-cankew *leans over* of ambitious thoughts! -And may t-that thought, when I imaginye iww -Against my king and n-nyephew, viwtuous Henwy, -Be my w-wast bweathing in this *twerks* mowtaw wowwd! -My twoubwous dweams this nyight :33 doth make *looks at you* me sad. -DUCHESS. W-What dweam'd my x3 wowd? Teww me, and ^-^ I'ww wequite it -*cries* With sweet ;;w;; weheawsaw of my mownying's dweam. -GWOUCESTEW. M-Methought this *teleports behind you* staff, minye office-badge in couwt, -*giggles shyly* Was bwoke *moans* in twain; b-by whom I have fowgot, -But, as I-I OwO think, it was by th' Cawdinyaw; -And on t-the pieces of the bwoken *leans over* wand -Wewe *sighs* pwac'd t-the heads of Edmund Duke of Somewset -A-And Wiwwiam de wa Powe, fiwst Duke of Suffowk. -T-This was my dweam; what i-it d-doth bode UwU God knyows. -DUCHESS. ^-^ Tut, this was *giggles shyly* nyothing b-but an awgument -That he ^w^ that bweaks a stick UwU of ^w^ Gwoucestew's *sweats* gwove -Shaww wose his head fow his p-pwesumption. -But wist to me, my *looks at you* Humphwey, my sweet Duke: -Methought I sat in seat of majesty -In the cathedwaw chuwch of Westminstew, -And in that chaiw whewe kings and queens wewe :3 cwown'd; -Whewe Henwy and Dame Mawgawet knyeew'd xDD to me, -And on my head did set *shuffles closer* the diadem. -GWOUCESTEW. Nyay, Eweanyow, then must I chide outwight. -Pwesumptuous xDD dame, iww-nyuwtuw'd *notices bulge* Eweanyow! -Awt thou *moans* nyot s-second woman i-in the *shuffles closer* weawm, -And the Pwotectow's wife, bewov'd of him? -Hast xDD thou nyot wowwdwy x3 pweasuwe at c-command -Above the weach ow compass of thy t-thought? -And wiwt thou stiww be hammewing tweachewy -T-To tumbwe down thy husband and thysewf -Fwom top of honyouw to disgwace's feet? -Away fwom me, and w-wet me heaw nyo mowe! -DUCHESS. What, what, my wowd! Awe y-you so c-chowewic -With Eweanyow fow tewwing but hew dweam? -Nyext time I'ww keep my dweams unto mysewf ->_< And nyot be check'd. -*cuddles you* GWOUCESTEW. Nyay, be nyot angwy; >w< I am *looks at you* pweas'd again. - -Entew a M-MESSENGEW - -*blushes* MESSENGEW. My *notices bulge* Wowd Pwotectow, 'tis his Highnyess' pweasuwe -You do pwepawe *notices bulge* to wide unto Saint Awbans, -Whewe as t-the King and Queen do mean to hawk. -GWOUCESTEW. I go. Come, Nyeww, thou OwO wiwt wide with us? -DUCHESS. Yes, my ^-^ good wowd, I'ww fowwow pwesentwy. -Exeunt GWOUCESTEW and *leans over* MESSENGEW -Fowwow I must; I cannyot go b-befowe, -Whiwe Gwoucestew beaws *leans over* this base and humbwe *looks away* mind. -Wewe I a *teleports behind you* man, a-a duke, *screams* and nyext ^-^ of bwood, -I wouwd wemove *hugs tightly* these >w< tedious stumbwing-bwocks -And smooth *shuffles closer* my way upon t-theiw headwess n-nyecks; -*screams* And, being a woman, I wiww *cuddles you* nyot be *sweats* swack -To pway my pawt in ^.^ Fowtunye's pageant. -Whewe awe :33 you thewe, Siw John? Nyay, feaw nyot, man, -We awe a-awonye; hewe's nyonye :3 but thee uWu and I. - -Entew HUME - -HUME. Jesus pwesewve youw uWu woyaw Majesty! -DUCHESS. x3 What say'st thou? M-Majesty! I a-am b-but Gwace. -H-HUME. >_< But, by the gwace of God a-and Hume's a-advice, -Youw Gwace's titwe *leans over* shaww be muwtipwied. -DUCHESS. >_< What ^-^ say'st thou, man? *cries* Hast thou *giggles shyly* as y-yet c-confeww'd -With Mawgewy Jouwdain, the cunnying witch of Eie, -With Wogew ^-^ Bowingbwoke, the conjuwew? -A-And wiww they u-undewtake to *looks away* do me good? -HUME. This they have *screams* pwomised, to show youw Highnyess -A spiwit w-wais'd fwom depth of undewgwound -That shaww make answew to such questions -As by youw Gwace shaww be ^w^ pwopounded him -DUCHESS. It is enyough; I'ww think upon *sighs* the questions; -*cries* When fwom Saint Awbans we do make *pokes you* wetuwn -We'ww see these t-things effected t-to the *blushes* fuww. -Hewe, Hume, take >_> this wewawd; make mewwy, man, -With thy confedewates in this w-weighty c-cause. Exit -HUME. *sighs* Hume must m-make mewwy with xDD the Duchess' g-gowd; -Mawwy, and shaww. But, how n-nyow, Siw John Hume! -S-Seaw up youw wips and g-give nyo wowds but mum: -The businyess asketh siwent *looks away* secwecy. -Dame Eweanyow gives gowd to bwing the witch: -G-Gowd cannyot come amiss wewe she a deviw. -Yet have I-I gowd fwies fwom anyothew coast- -I dawe nyot say fwom the wich Cawdinyaw, -A-And fwom the gweat a-and nyew-made Duke of *sighs* Suffowk; -Yet *blushes* I >w< do find it :33 so; >_> fow, >_> to be pwain, -They, k-knyowing Dame Eweanyow's aspiwing h-humouw, -Have hiwed m-me to undewminye the uWu Duchess, -And buzz these conjuwations x3 in hew bwain. -They say '-'A cwafty knyave UwU does n-nyeed nyo bwokew'; -Yet *screams* am I *teleports behind you* Suffowk UwU and the Cawdinyaw's bwokew. -Hume, if you take *cries* nyot heed, you shaww go nyeaw -To caww them both a paiw of cwafty k-knyaves. -W-Weww, *cries* so its stands; and thus, I-I feaw, at w-wast -Hume's k-knyavewy wiww UwU be the Duchess' wweck, -And hew attaintuwe uWu wiww be Humphwey's faww -Sowt how it wiww, >w< I s-shaww UwU have gowd fow aww. Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -OwO Wondon. T-The *sighs* pawace - -Entew thwee ow fouw PETITIONyEWS, *leans over* PETEW, the Awmouwew's man, *looks away* being onye - -FIWST PETITIONyEW. My *shuffles closer* mastews, wet's stand *twerks* cwose; my *twerks* Wowd Pwotectow -wiww come this way by >w< and b-by, >_< and :3 then we may dewivew ouw -suppwications in the quiww. -SECOND PETITIONyEW. M-Mawwy, the Wowd pwotect him, fow he's a good -man, Jesu bwess him! - -Entew SUFFOWK and QUEEN - -FIWST >_> PETITIONyEW. H-Hewe *cries* 'a comes, methinks, and the Queen with him. -I'ww be *teleports behind you* the fiwst, suwe. -SECOND PETITIONyEW. Come back, foow; this is the Duke of Suffowk and -nyot my Wowd Pwotectow. -SUFFOWK. How nyow, f-fewwow! Wouwdst anything with me? -FIWST PETITIONyEW. I pway, my wowd, pawdon me; I took ye fow my Wowd -Pwotectow. -QUEEN. [Weads] 'To my Wowd Pwotectow!' UwU Awe youw s-suppwications to -his wowdship? Wet me see t-them. What is thinye? -FIWST PETITIONyEW. M-Minye is, an't pwease youw Gwace, against John -*sweats* Goodman, my W-Wowd Cawdinyaw's man, f-fow keeping *screams* my house and wands, -and wife and ^-^ aww, *twerks* fwom me. ->w< SUFFOWK. Thy wife too! >w< That's some w-wwong indeed. *notices bulge* What's youws? -*cuddles you* What's hewe! [Weads] *screams* 'Against the :33 Duke of Suffowk, fow encwosing -*twerks* the *blushes* commons of Mewfowd.' How nyow, siw knyave! -*looks at you* SECOND PETITIONyEW. Awas, siw, I am but a poow petitionyew of ouw -whowe township. -*pokes you* PETEW. [Pwesenting h-his petition] Against my mastew, Thomas Hownyew, -fow saying that t-the Duke o-of Yowk was *hugs tightly* wightfuw heiw to the cwown. -QUEEN. What say'st thou? Did the Duke of Yowk say he was wightfuw -h-heiw to the cwown? -PETEW. That m-my mastew was? Nyo, fowsooth. M-My m-mastew said that he -was, and that the King was an usuwpew. -SUFFOWK. Who i-is thewe? [Entew sewvant] >_< Take this f-fewwow in, and -send fow his mastew with a puwsuivant pwesentwy. We'ww heaw mowe -of y-youw mattew befowe t-the King. -Exit sewvant with PETEW -QUEEN. And as fow ;;w;; you, *shuffles closer* that w-wove *sweats* to b-be x3 pwotected -U-Undew the wings :3 of o-ouw ;;w;; Pwotectow's gwace, -Begin youw suits anyew, and sue to him. -[Teaws the suppwications] -Away, base *looks at you* cuwwions! Suffowk, wet them *blushes* go. -AWW. Come, wet's b-be gonye. E-Exeunt -Q-QUEEN. My Wowd of Suffowk, say, is this t-the guise, -Is this the fashions in the couwt *sighs* of *moans* Engwand? -Is this the govewnment of Bwitain's i-iswe, -And this the w-woyawty of Awbion's king? -What, shaww King Henwy be a pupiw stiww, -Undew the suwwy Gwoucestew's g-govewnyance? -Am I a queen in titwe *pokes you* and in stywe, -And must be made a-a subject to a duke? -I teww thee, Powe, xDD when in t-the city Touws -*leans over* Thou wan'st *hugs tightly* a xDD tiwt in :3 honyouw o-of xDD my wove -A-And stow'st away *moans* the wadies' heawts o-of Fwance, -I thought King Henwy had wesembwed thee -In couwage, couwtship, and pwopowtion; -B-But *looks away* aww his mind is bent to howinyess, -To *looks at you* nyumbew Ave-Mawies on his beads; -His c-champions awe the *looks away* pwophets and apostwes; -*leans over* His weapons, howy saws uWu of sacwed wwit; -His s-study is his tiwt-yawd, and his woves -*looks away* Awe bwazen images of canyonyized saints. -I wouwd the cowwege of the Cawdinyaws -Wouwd c-choose him Pope, and cawwy him to W-Wome, -And *hugs tightly* set the twipwe UwU cwown upon *sweats* his head; -That wewe a state fit fow *cuddles you* his howinyess. -S-SUFFOWK. Madam, be patient. As I was cause -Youw Highnyess came to Engwand, so wiww I -In Engwand w-wowk youw Gwace's fuww content. -QUEEN. Beside the haughty Pwotectow, have *moans* we Beaufowt -The impewious chuwchman; Somewset, Buckingham, -And gwumbwing Yowk; and nyot the w-weast ;;w;; of these -But can do mowe in Engwand than *leans over* the OwO King. -SUFFOWK. A-And *blushes* he of these that can do :3 most of *giggles shyly* aww -Cannyot do mowe in Engwand than t-the N-Nyeviws; -S-Sawisbuwy and >_> Wawwick awe *hugs tightly* nyo simpwe peews. -QUEEN. Nyot aww these wowds do vex me hawf so m-much -*giggles shyly* As that pwoud d-dame, the Wowd Pwotectow's w-wife. -She sweeps it thwough the couwt with twoops ^-^ of wadies, -M-Mowe wike an empwess than ^w^ Duke Humphwey's wife. -Stwangews i-in couwt *teleports behind you* do take hew fow the Queen. -She *twerks* beaws a duke's ^w^ wevenyues uWu on hew back, -And in hew heawt she scowns ouw *screams* povewty; -Shaww I nyot wive t-to be aveng'd on hew? -Contemptuous base-bown cawwet *sweats* as *blushes* she is, -She vaunted 'mongst hew minyions t-t' othew d-day -The vewy twain o-of hew wowst weawing gown -Was bettew :33 wowth than *pokes you* aww my fathew's wands, -Tiww Suffowk *notices bulge* gave two dukedoms *sighs* fow his daughtew. -SUFFOWK. Madam, OwO mysewf have wim'd a bush fow hew, -A-And x3 pwac'd a quiwe of *hugs tightly* such enticing biwds -That she wiww wight to wisten t-to the ways, -And nyevew mount to twoubwe *blushes* you again. -So, wet hew w-west. And, madam, w-wist to me, -Fow I-I am bowd to c-counsew you i-in this: -Awthough we f-fancy *giggles shyly* nyot the Cawdinyaw, -Yet *cuddles you* must we join *sweats* with him a-and with the wowds, -T-Tiww we have b-bwought D-Duke Humphwey :33 in d-disgwace. -*twerks* As OwO fow the ^w^ Duke of *cuddles you* Yowk, this wate compwaint -Wiww m-make but wittwe f-fow his b-benyefit. -*looks at you* So onye by o-onye we'ww weed them aww *screams* at wast, -And *teleports behind you* you youwsewf shaww steew the happy *sighs* hewm. - -S-Sound *looks away* a sennyet. Entew the KING, DUKE H-HUMPHWEY, -CAWDINyAW BEAUFOWT, BUCKINGHAM, YOWK, SOMEWSET, SAWISBUWY, -WAWWICK, and the D-DUCHESS OF *sweats* GWOUCESTEW - -KING HENWY. Fow m-my pawt, nyobwe wowds, I-I cawe nyot which: -uWu Ow Somewset ow Y-Yowk, *sighs* aww's onye to m-me. -YOWK. If Yowk have iww demean'd himsewf in Fwance, -T-Then wet him be denyay'd t-the wegentship. -SOMEWSET. If Somewset be unwowthy of the pwace, -Wet Yowk be Wegent; I wiww yiewd t-to *cries* him. -WAWWICK. Whethew youw Gwace be wowthy, yea ow nyo, -Dispute >_> nyot *twerks* that; Yowk is t-the wowthiew. -CAWDINyAW. A-Ambitious Wawwick, wet thy bettews speak. -WAWWICK. The Cawdinyaw's nyot my bettew ^-^ in t-the fiewd. -BUCKINGHAM. A-Aww in this pwesence awe thy bettews, Wawwick. -*notices bulge* WAWWICK. Wawwick ;;w;; may wive to be the *leans over* best of aww. -SAWISBUWY. Peace, son! A-And x3 show some weason, ^-^ Buckingham, -Why Somewset shouwd be pwefeww'd ^w^ in ^-^ this. -QUEEN. Because the *cuddles you* King, fowsooth, wiww *looks away* have it so. -GWOUCESTEW. Madam, *shuffles closer* the King i-is owd *leans over* enyough *cuddles you* himsewf -To give his censuwe. These awe nyo women's mattews. -QUEEN. *pokes you* If he be owd enyough, what n-nyeeds y-youw Gwace -To be Pwotectow of his *pokes you* Excewwence? -GWOUCESTEW. Madam, I am Pwotectow of t-the weawm; ->_> And at his pweasuwe wiww wesign my pwace. -SUFFOWK. Wesign *cuddles you* it then, and weave thinye insowence. -Since thou wewt king- as who is king b-but t-thou?- -The commonweawth h-hath daiwy w-wun t-to *moans* wwack, -The Dauphin hath pwevaiw'd ^.^ beyond the *leans over* seas, -And aww the peews and nyobwes of t-the weawm -x3 Have been as b-bondmen xDD to t-thy soveweignty. -CAWDINyAW. The commons hast thou wack'd; the *pokes you* cwewgy's bags -*screams* Awe wank and wean with *blushes* thy extowtions. -SOMEWSET. *leans over* Thy sumptuous buiwdings and thy wife's *shuffles closer* attiwe -Have cost a m-mass of pubwic tweasuwy. -BUCKINGHAM. Thy cwuewty in execution -Upon offendews hath exceeded waw, -And weft thee to the ^.^ mewcy of the waw. -^.^ QUEEN. Thy sawe of offices and towns ^w^ in *giggles shyly* Fwance, -If x3 they w-wewe knyown, as the :3 suspect is *sweats* gweat, -Wouwd *giggles shyly* make thee q-quickwy *giggles shyly* hop without thy head. -Exit GWOUCESTEW. T-The QUEEN *blushes* dwops QUEEN hew fan -Give me my f-fan. xDD What, m-minyion, can *shuffles closer* ye nyot? -[She gives the DUCHESS a box on the eaw] -I c-cwy y-youw mewcy, ;;w;; madam; was it you? -DUCHESS. Was't I? Yea, I it w-was, pwoud Fwenchwoman. -*pokes you* Couwd I-I c-come nyeaw youw beauty with my nyaiws, -I *blushes* couwd set m-my ten commandments in youw face. -KING HENWY. Sweet aunt, be q-quiet; 'twas against hew wiww. -DUCHESS. A-Against hew wiww, good King? Wook to 't >w< in time; -She'ww *notices bulge* hampew t-thee *cries* and dandwe thee wike a baby. -^w^ Though in this p-pwace most mastew weaw nyo bweeches, -She shaww nyot *cuddles you* stwike *blushes* Dame Eweanyow unweveng'd. *twerks* Exit -BUCKINGHAM. Wowd Cawdinyaw, >_> I wiww f-fowwow Eweanyow, -And wisten aftew H-Humphwey, how he *pokes you* pwoceeds. -She's tickwed *leans over* nyow; hew f-fume nyeeds nyo spuws, -She'ww *sweats* gawwop faw enyough to hew *notices bulge* destwuction. Exit - -We-entew GWOUCESTEW - -GWOUCESTEW. xDD Nyow, *cries* wowds, my chowew being ovewbwown -With wawking once about the q-quadwangwe, -*screams* I come to tawk ^w^ of commonweawth affaiws. -As fow youw >_< spitefuw fawse o-objections, -P-Pwove them, and I wie open to the waw; -But God in mewcy *cries* so *twerks* deaw with my souw -As I in duty wove *sighs* my king and countwy! -But *shuffles closer* to the mattew t-that we have *hugs tightly* in hand: -I say, my soveweign, Yowk i-is meetest man -To b-be youw Wegent in the weawm of Fwance. -SUFFOWK. B-Befowe we m-make ewection, give me weave -To show some weason, of nyo wittwe fowce, -That Yowk is most unmeet of any man. -YOWK. I'ww teww thee, Suffowk, why I am *sweats* unmeet: -Fiwst, fow I *pokes you* cannyot fwattew thee UwU in *notices bulge* pwide; -N-Nyext, if I be appointed fow the pwace, -M-My *sweats* Wowd of Somewset wiww *twerks* keep me hewe -Without >w< dischawge, monyey, ow fuwnyituwe, -UwU Tiww Fwance be won into the Dauphin's hands. -Wast time I danc'd attendance on his w-wiww -T-Tiww *giggles shyly* Pawis w-was besieg'd, famish'd, and wost. ->_> WAWWICK. That can I witnyess; and a fouwew f-fact -Did nyevew twaitow xDD in the wand commit. -SUFFOWK. Peace, *moans* headstwong Wawwick! -WAWWICK. Image of pwide, why shouwd I howd my peace? - -Entew HOWNyEW, the uWu Awmouwew, and his man *moans* PETEW, g-guawded - -S-SUFFOWK. Because hewe is a man accus'd of tweason: -P-Pway God the Duke of Y-Yowk excuse himsewf! -YOWK. Doth any onye *moans* accuse Yowk fow *notices bulge* a twaitow? -KING HENWY. What mean'st thou, Suffowk? Teww me, what awe these? -SUFFOWK. Pwease it youw Majesty, this is the man -That *looks away* doth *notices bulge* accuse his mastew of h-high tweason; -His :3 wowds wewe these: that W-Wichawd Duke o-of Yowk -*cries* Was wightfuw heiw unto the Engwish cwown, -And ;;w;; that youw M-Majesty was *hugs tightly* an usuwpew. -KING HENWY. Say, man, wewe these *cuddles you* thy wowds? -HOWNyEW. An't s-shaww pwease youw Majesty, I-I nyevew said nyow thought -any *looks away* such *shuffles closer* mattew. God is *giggles shyly* my witnyess, I am *screams* fawsewy *looks away* accus'd by the -viwwain. -PETEW. [Howding u-up his hands] By these ten bonyes, my wowds, he did -speak them to m-me *blushes* in *cries* the gawwet onye n-nyight, uWu as *leans over* we *sighs* wewe scouwing my -Wowd o-of ;;w;; Yowk's a-awmouw. -YOWK. Base dunghiww viwwain and *blushes* mechanyicaw, -I'ww have thy head fow this t-thy t-twaitow's speech. -I do beseech y-youw w-woyaw OwO Majesty, -Wet him have a-aww the wigouw of the waw. -*sighs* HOWNyEW`. Awas, my wowd, hang *looks away* me if *twerks* evew I spake the wowds. My -accusew is *sighs* my pwentice; a-and w-when I d-did c-cowwect him fow his fauwt -the othew day, he *looks at you* did vow upon his knyees x3 he wouwd be even with -me. I have g-good witnyess of t-this; thewefowe I beseech youw -Majesty, d-do nyot ;;w;; cast a-away an h-honyest m-man fow a viwwain's -accusation. -*looks away* KING *shuffles closer* HENWY. Uncwe, what ^.^ shaww we say ^w^ to this in *notices bulge* waw? -GWOUCESTEW. This doom, *looks at you* my wowd, if *twerks* I m-may j-judge: -W-Wet Somewset b-be Wegent o'ew the Fwench, -Because in Yowk this bweeds suspicion; ->_> And wet t-these have a day *hugs tightly* appointed x3 them -*screams* Fow singwe combat i-in convenyient pwace, -uWu Fow he hath witnyess *notices bulge* of his sewvant's mawice. -This is *looks at you* the waw, and this D-Duke Humphwey's doom. -SOMEWSET. I-I xDD humbwy t-thank youw w-woyaw M-Majesty. -HOWNyEW. And I accept the combat wiwwingwy. -^-^ PETEW. >_> Awas, my *sweats* wowd, I cannyot fight; fow God's sake, p-pity my c-case! -The spite of man pwevaiweth against m-me. O >w< Wowd, have mewcy upon -m-me, I shaww nyevew b-be abwe t-to f-fight a bwow! O-O Wowd, my heawt! ->w< GWOUCESTEW. :3 Siwwah, ow you *screams* must fight ow ewse be hang'd. -KING HENWY. A-Away *cuddles you* with them t-to pwison; and the day *leans over* of combat shaww -be the xDD wast of the n-nyext month. -Come, Somewset, we'ww see thee ^.^ sent a-away. Fwouwish. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -*blushes* Wondon. The D-DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW'S gawden - -E-Entew M-MAWGEWY JOUWDAIN, the witch; the two pwiests, H-HUME and SOUTHWEWW; -and BOWINGBWOKE - -HUME. Come, *shuffles closer* my mastews; ^-^ the Duchess, I teww you, expects -pewfowmance of youw pwomises. -BOWINGBWOKE. Mastew Hume, w-we awe thewefowe pwovided; wiww hew -wadyship behowd a-and heaw ouw exowcisms? -HUME. ^.^ Ay, what ewse? Feaw y-you nyot hew couwage. -BOWINGBWOKE. *leans over* I have heawd h-hew wepowted to be a woman *looks away* of an -invincibwe spiwit; but it shaww be convenyient, xDD Mastew Hume, that -you *blushes* be b-by h-hew awoft whiwe we b-be *sweats* busy bewow; and so I p-pway you go, -in God's nyame, and weave us. [Exit HUME] Mothew Jouwdain, b-be you -pwostwate and gwovew on the eawth; John S-Southweww, *notices bulge* wead you; and -wet us to ouw *twerks* wowk. - -Entew DUCHESS awoft, fowwowed by HUME - -UwU DUCHESS. ^.^ Weww said, my mastews; and w-wewcome aww. To this geaw, the -soonyew t-the bettew. -BOWINGBWOKE. P-Patience, *leans over* good wady; wizawds ^.^ knyow theiw times: -Deep >w< nyight, dawk nyight, t-the siwent of *blushes* the nyight, -UwU The t-time of nyight when OwO Twoy was *sighs* set *hugs tightly* on fiwe; -T-The *shuffles closer* time when >_> scweech-owws cwy and ban-dogs howw, -And spiwits w-wawk and ghosts bweak up theiw gwaves- -That time best fits *twerks* the wowk *cuddles you* we :3 have in hand. -Madam, s-sit you, and feaw nyot: whom w-we waise -We wiww make fast within a hawwow'd vewge. - -[Hewe they do t-the cewemonyies bewonging, and make the UwU ciwcwe; -BOWINGBWOKE ow SOUTHWEWW weads: 'Conjuwo te,' &c. -It thundews and ^w^ wightens :3 tewwibwy; then the SPIWIT wiseth] - -SPIWIT. Adsum. -MAWGEWY JOUWDAIN. Asmath, -By t-the etewnyaw God, w-whose nyame and powew -;;w;; Thou twembwest at, *looks at you* answew that I shaww *notices bulge* ask; -Fow tiww thou speak *sighs* thou shawt nyot pass fwom hence. -SPIWIT. Ask w-what t-thou wiwt; ^w^ that I had said a-and d-donye. -BOWINGBWOKE. [Weads] 'Fiwst of the k-king: what shaww of him become?' -SPIWIT. The Duke *cries* yet wives t-that Henwy shaww depose; -But him outwive, and die a viowent death. -[As the S-SPIWIT speaks, S-SOUTHWEWW wwites the answew] -BOWINGBWOKE. 'What fates await the Duke of Suffowk?' -SPIWIT. By watew s-shaww he die and take his *teleports behind you* end. -OwO BOWINGBWOKE. 'What shaww befaww the xDD Duke o-of Somewset?' -SPIWIT. >_< Wet him shun castwes: -S-Safew shaww he *notices bulge* be upon the sandy pwains -T-Than whewe castwes mounted stand. -*sweats* Have donye, fow mowe I hawdwy *cuddles you* can enduwe. -*sighs* BOWINGBWOKE. D-Descend to d-dawknyess a-and the b-buwnying wake; -Fawse fiend, avoid! Thundew ^.^ and wightnying. Exit SPIWIT - -Entew the *looks away* DUKE OF YOWK and the D-DUKE OF -BUCKINGHAM with guawd, and bweak in - -YOWK. Way hands upon ^w^ these t-twaitows a-and theiw twash. -Bewdam, I think we watch'd *moans* you at an inch. -What, madam, awe *looks away* you thewe? T-The King and commonweaw -Awe deepwy *looks away* indebted fow this ;;w;; piece of pains; -My Wowd Pwotectow wiww, I doubt it *twerks* nyot, -See you weww g-guewdon'd f-fow t-these g-good desewts. -DUCHESS. Nyot hawf so b-bad as thinye to Engwand's king, -Injuwious Duke, that thweatest whewe's nyo cause. -B-BUCKINGHAM. T-Twue, madam, nyonye at aww. What can *screams* you *shuffles closer* this? -Away with them! wet them *looks at you* be c-cwapp'd up cwose, -And kept asundew. You, madam, shaww with us. -Staffowd, take hew to thee. -We'ww see y-youw twinkets *cuddles you* hewe UwU aww fowthcoming. -Aww, away! -Exeunt, a-above, *giggles shyly* DUCHESS and HUME, guawded; bewow, -WITCH, *sighs* SOUTHWEWW and BOWINGBWOKE, guawded -YOWK. Wowd Buckingham, *looks away* methinks *blushes* you watch'd hew weww. -A-A pwetty pwot, weww chosen xDD to xDD buiwd upon! -uWu Nyow, pway, my w-wowd, wet's see the deviw's wwit. -What h-have ;;w;; we hewe? [Weads] -'The duke yet *teleports behind you* wives that Henwy shaww depose; -But him outwive, and die a viowent death.' -Why, t-this is just -'Aio te, Aeacida, Womanyos vincewe posse.' -Weww, *leans over* to the west: -'Teww me what fate a-awaits >_< the Duke *leans over* of Suffowk?' -'-'By w-watew shaww he die a-and take his end.' -*screams* 'What shaww b-betide t-the Duke of Somewset?' -'Wet him shun castwes; -Safew shaww he be upon the sandy p-pwains -Than whewe castwes *screams* mounted stand.' -Come, come, my *looks at you* wowds; -These >_< owacwes awe hawdwy a-attain'd, -And h-hawdwy undewstood. -T-The King is :3 nyow in p-pwogwess towawds Saint Awbans, -With him the husband *cries* of this xDD wovewy wady; -Thithew go these n-nyews as f-fast as howse can c-cawwy them- -A sowwy bweakfast f-fow my W-Wowd Pwotectow. -B-BUCKINGHAM. Youw Gwace shaww *cuddles you* give me weave, *twerks* my W-Wowd of Yowk, -To be the post, in hope of his w-wewawd. -YOWK. At youw >_< pweasuwe, my good wowd. -Who's within *cuddles you* thewe, ho? - -*sweats* Entew a sewving-man - -Invite my Wowds of Sawisbuwy and Wawwick -To sup with me to-mowwow nyight. Away! Exeunt - - - - -<_> TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE ^-^ I. -Saint Awbans - -Entew the KING, QUEEN, GWOUCESTEW, *twerks* CAWDINyAW, and SUFFOWK, -with Fawconyews hawwoing - -QUEEN. Bewieve me, uWu wowds, fow fwying at the b-bwook, -I-I saw nyot bettew spowt these *blushes* seven yeaws' *giggles shyly* day; -Yet, by youw weave, the wind was vewy high, -A-And ten t-to o-onye owd >_> Joan had nyot g-gonye out. -KING HENWY. But what a point, my wowd, youw fawcon made, -And *leans over* what a xDD pitch she fwew above *pokes you* the west! -To see how God in aww His cweatuwes wowks! -*notices bulge* Yea, m-man and biwds awe fain of cwimbing high. -SUFFOWK. Nyo m-mawvew, an *looks at you* it wike y-youw Majesty, -My :3 Wowd Pwotectow's x3 hawks d-do t-tow'w so weww; -They knyow theiw >_> mastew woves to be awoft, -And beaws his thoughts above >_< his fawcon's pitch. -GWOUCESTEW. My wowd, 'tis but a *notices bulge* base ignyobwe mind -That *twerks* mounts *looks at you* nyo ^-^ highew than a biwd can soaw. -CAWDINyAW. I ^w^ thought as much; he *looks away* wouwd be above the cwouds. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Ay, m-my *giggles shyly* wowd Cawdinyaw, *hugs tightly* how think you by that? -Wewe *twerks* it nyot good youw Gwace couwd fwy to *sweats* heaven? -KING HENWY. The tweasuwy of evewwasting *twerks* joy! -C-CAWDINyAW. Thy *sweats* heaven is on eawth; thinye *screams* eyes and thoughts -Beat on a cwown, t-the tweasuwe of thy heawt; -Pewnyicious Pwotectow, dangewous peew, -That smooth'st it so with King and commonweaw. -GWOUCESTEW. What, C-Cawdinyaw, is youw pwiesthood gwown pewemptowy? -Tantaenye anyimis coewestibus iwae? -Chuwchmen s-so :33 hot? Good uncwe, h-hide *screams* such mawice; -With s-such howinyess *looks away* can you ^w^ do it? -SUFFOWK. Nyo mawice, siw; nyo mowe :33 than weww *notices bulge* becomes -So good a *cuddles you* quawwew and s-so bad a peew. -GWOUCESTEW. As who, my wowd? -SUFFOWK. Why, as y-you, my wowd, -An't w-wike youw wowdwy Wowd's Pwotectowship. -GWOUCESTEW. Why, Suffowk, Engwand knyows *giggles shyly* thinye insowence. -QUEEN. And thy ambition, *sweats* Gwoucestew. -KING HENWY. I pwithee, *pokes you* peace, -Good Queen, *looks at you* and whet nyot on these f-fuwious peews; -Fow bwessed a-awe the p-peacemakews on e-eawth. -CAWDINyAW. *pokes you* Wet m-me be bwessed fow the *leans over* peace I-I make -Against ^.^ this pwoud Pwotectow with my swowd! -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside ^-^ to CAWDINyAW] Faith, howy uncwe, wouwd *pokes you* 'twewe -c-come to that! -CAWDINyAW. [-[Aside to GWOUCESTEW] Mawwy, when thou daw'st. -G-GWOUCESTEW. [Aside to CAWDINyAW] Make up *screams* nyo factious nyumbews fow the -mattew; -In thinye own pewson answew thy UwU abuse. -CAWDINyAW. [Aside to G-GWOUCESTEW] *looks at you* Ay, whewe thou daw'st nyot peep; an -i-if thou daw'st, -This uWu evenying on t-the east side o-of the g-gwove. -KING HENWY. How nyow, my wowds! -*twerks* CAWDINyAW. Bewieve me, c-cousin Gwoucestew, -*sighs* Had n-nyot youw man put up t-the foww so suddenwy, -We had h-had mowe spowt. [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] Come with t-thy -two-hand swowd. -GWOUCESTEW. *looks away* Twue, uncwe. -*twerks* CAWDINyAW. *cuddles you* [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] Awe ye advis'd? The east s-side of -the gwove? -GWOUCESTEW. [-[Aside to *pokes you* CAWDINyAW] C-Cawdinyaw, I am with you. -KING *cuddles you* HENWY. Why, how nyow, uncwe Gwoucestew! -GWOUCESTEW. Tawking of *cuddles you* hawking; nyothing ewse, my wowd. -[Aside to CAWDINyAW] Nyow, by God's Mothew, pwiest, -I'ww shave youw cwown fow UwU this, -Ow aww my xDD fence shaww faiw. -CAWDINyAW. [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] Medice, teipsum; -*cuddles you* Pwotectow, s-see to't weww; pwotect youwsewf. -K-KING HENWY. *giggles shyly* The winds :3 gwow high; so do y-youw *screams* stomachs, wowds. -How iwksome *cuddles you* is this music to my heawt! -uWu When such stwings jaw, what hope of hawmony? -I p-pway, my w-wowds, wet >_< me compound this stwife. - -Entew a TOWNSMAN of Saint Awbans, cwying 'A miwacwe!' - -GWOUCESTEW. What means this OwO nyoise? -Fewwow, w-what miwacwe dost t-thou pwocwaim? -TOWNSMAN. A miwacwe! A miwacwe! -SUFFOWK. Come to the K-King, and teww him what miwacwe. -TOWNSMAN. Fowsooth, a bwind man at Saint A-Awbans shwinye -W-Within this hawf x3 houw hath weceiv'd :33 his sight; -A man that nye'ew *cuddles you* saw in his wife befowe. -K-KING H-HENWY. Nyow God *teleports behind you* be pwais'd *teleports behind you* that to bewieving *twerks* souws -G-Gives wight in dawknyess, *pokes you* comfowt in despaiw! - -Entew the M-MAYOW OF SAINT AWBANS and his bwethwen, -b-beawing Simpcox between two in a chaiw; -his WIFE and ;;w;; a muwtitude fowwowing - -C-CAWDINyAW. Hewe comes the townsmen o-on pwocession -To pwesent youw Highnyess with the man. -KING H-HENWY. Gweat is *blushes* his c-comfowt in t-this eawthwy vawe, -Awthough by h-his sight his :33 sin be muwtipwied. -GWOUCESTEW. *shuffles closer* Stand by, my mastews; bwing him nyeaw the King; -His Highnyess' pweasuwe is to OwO tawk with h-him. -K-KING HENWY. Good fewwow, teww us *twerks* hewe the ciwcumstance, -That we *sweats* fow thee *cries* may gwowify the Wowd. -What, hast thou been wong bwind *looks away* and nyow westow'd? -SIMPCOX. OwO Bown b-bwind, >_> an't p-pwease *pokes you* youw Gwace. -WIFE. Ay i-indeed was he. -SUFFOWK. What woman is this? -WIFE. His wife, *giggles shyly* an't wike youw wowship. -GWOUCESTEW. Hadst thou been his m-mothew, thou *leans over* couwdst have *sweats* bettew -towd. -KING H-HENWY. Whewe w-wewt thou bown? -SIMPCOX. A-At Bewwick in the nyowth, an't wike youw Gwace. -KING HENWY. Poow s-souw, God's goodnyess hath been gweat to thee. -Wet nyevew day nyow nyight unhawwowed p-pass, -But s-stiww wemembew w-what the *leans over* Wowd hath donye. -:33 QUEEN. Teww me, good fewwow, cam'st thou hewe by UwU chance, -O-Ow of devotion, to this howy shwinye? -SIMPCOX. G-God knyows, of puwe devotion; being caww'd -A hundwed times *moans* and oft'nyew, in my sweep, -By good Saint Awban, who said *hugs tightly* 'Simpcox, come, -Come, offew at my shwinye, and *blushes* I wiww hewp thee.' -WIFE. M-Most twue, f-fowsooth; and many time a-and oft -Mysewf have h-heawd a *cries* voice to caww h-him *cries* so. -*looks away* CAWDINyAW. What, awt thou w-wame? -SIMPCOX. *looks at you* Ay, God Awmighty hewp me! -SUFFOWK. How cam'st thou s-so? -SIMPCOX. A-A faww off of *blushes* a twee. -WIFE. A *twerks* pwum twee, mastew. -GWOUCESTEW. H-How wong hast thou b-been bwind? -:3 SIMPCOX. O, :3 bown so, mastew! -G-GWOUCESTEW. What, *moans* and wouwdst cwimb a twee? -SIMPCOX. But t-that >w< in aww my wife, *hugs tightly* when I was a youth. -^w^ WIFE. Too t-twue; and bought his cwimbing vewy deaw. -GWOUCESTEW. Mass, t-thou wov'dst pwums weww, t-that wouwdst ventuwe so. ->_< SIMPCOX. Awas, good *sweats* mastew, my wife desiw'd some damsons -And made me c-cwimb, With d-dangew ^-^ of my ^w^ wife. -GWOUCESTEW. *teleports behind you* A subtwe k-knyave! But *looks away* yet it shaww n-nyot sewve: -Wet me see thinye eyes; wink nyow; nyow xDD open them; -In my opinyion yet thou seest nyot weww. -SIMPCOX. Yes, mastew, cweaw *moans* as *giggles shyly* day, I thank God and *twerks* Saint Awban. -GWOUCESTEW. Say'st thou me *pokes you* so? What cowouw i-is this cwoak of? -SIMPCOX. *hugs tightly* Wed, mastew; wed a-as ;;w;; bwood. -GWOUCESTEW. Why, >w< that's weww said. What *hugs tightly* cowouw >_< is my *sighs* gown of? -SIMPCOX. Bwack, UwU fowsooth; coaw-bwack as j-jet. -KING HENWY. Why, *notices bulge* then, thou uWu knyow'st what cowouw jet i-is of? -SUFFOWK. A-And yet, I think, jet :33 did *screams* he n-nyevew see. -*sweats* GWOUCESTEW. But cwoaks and gowns befowe this *twerks* day a many. -WIFE. Nyevew befowe this day in *cuddles you* aww his wife. -*leans over* GWOUCESTEW. Teww m-me, siwwah, w-what's my nyame? -SIMPCOX. Awas, mastew, I-I k-knyow nyot. -GWOUCESTEW. *leans over* What's his nyame? -SIMPCOX. I knyow nyot. -GWOUCESTEW. *shuffles closer* Nyow his? -SIMPCOX. Nyo, indeed, mastew. -GWOUCESTEW. What's thinye o-own n-nyame? -SIMPCOX. Saundew S-Simpcox, an if ;;w;; it pwease you, >_> mastew. -GWOUCESTEW. Then, OwO Saundew, >w< sit *sweats* thewe, the w-wying'st ^.^ knyave in -*pokes you* Chwistendom. *giggles shyly* If thou hadst been bown bwind, t-thou UwU mightst as weww -have knyown aww o-ouw n-nyames as thus to nyame the sevewaw c-cowouws we -do weaw. S-Sight may distinguish *moans* of UwU cowouws; b-but >_> suddenwy to -nyominyate them aww, it is impossibwe. M-My wowds, Saint Awban hewe -hath d-donye a *notices bulge* miwacwe; and wouwd ye nyot think *cuddles you* his cunnying *twerks* to b-be -gweat that couwd westowe *pokes you* this :33 cwippwe to his wegs again? -SIMPCOX. O mastew, t-that you couwd! -x3 GWOUCESTEW. My mastews of S-Saint A-Awbans, h-have you nyot beadwes in -youw *shuffles closer* town, and things *hugs tightly* caww'd *looks at you* whips? -MAYOW. Yes, my :3 wowd, if it pwease youw Gwace. -UwU GWOUCESTEW. Then send fow onye pwesentwy. -MAYOW. Siwwah, go ^w^ fetch :33 the beadwe hithew *pokes you* stwaight. -Exit an attendant -G-GWOUCESTEW. UwU Nyow fetch m-me a stoow h-hithew by and by. [A stoow -bwought] Nyow, siwwah, if you *sweats* mean t-to s-save youwsewf fwom whipping, -*leans over* weap me ovew t-this stoow and w-wun away. -SIMPCOX. Awas, *leans over* mastew, I am n-nyot abwe to stand a-awonye! -*sighs* You go >_> about to towtuwe *shuffles closer* me i-in ^w^ vain. - -E-Entew a BEADWE with whips - ->_< GWOUCESTEW. Weww, siw, w-we must have y-you find youw wegs. -*looks away* Siwwah beadwe, whip him tiww he *twerks* weap ovew that same stoow. -BEADWE. *cries* I wiww, my w-wowd. Come on, *shuffles closer* siwwah; off with youw doubwet -q-quickwy. -SIMPCOX. *leans over* Awas, mastew, w-what shaww I do? I am nyot abwe t-to stand. - -Aftew the BEADWE hath hit him o-once, he weaps ovew -the stoow and w-wuns away; and they fowwow and cwy -'A miwacwe!' - -KING H-HENWY. *shuffles closer* O God, seest Thou this, and beawest so wong? -QUEEN. It made me waugh to see >_< the viwwain wun. -GWOUCESTEW. Fowwow the knyave, >w< and take this dwab *leans over* away. -WIFE. Awas, *blushes* siw, we did it *teleports behind you* fow xDD puwe nyeed! -GWOUCESTEW. Wet them be whipp'd ^w^ thwough evewy mawket t-town tiww t-they -come *cuddles you* to Bewwick, fwom whence they came. -Exeunt MAYOW, BEADWE, WIFE, &c. -CAWDINyAW. Duke Humphwey h-has donye a *looks at you* miwacwe to-day. -S-SUFFOWK. Twue; made *shuffles closer* the wame to w-weap and fwy away. -GWOUCESTEW. B-But y-you have ;;w;; donye mowe *sweats* miwacwes :3 than I-I: -*cries* You made :3 in a day, my wowd, whowe towns *pokes you* to fwy. - -Entew BUCKINGHAM - -KING *pokes you* HENWY. What x3 tidings with ouw cousin Buckingham? -BUCKINGHAM. Such *hugs tightly* as m-my heawt doth twembwe >_> to unfowd: -*pokes you* A sowt of nyaughty p-pewsons, *giggles shyly* wewdwy bent, -U-Undew the countenyance a-and *looks at you* confedewacy -Of Wady Eweanyow, the Pwotectow's wife, -The wingweadew and head of aww *moans* this wout, -Have p-pwactis'd d-dangewouswy *twerks* against youw state, -Deawing with witches and with conjuwews, -*looks at you* Whom :3 we have *leans over* appwehended in the fact, -Waising up wicked spiwits fwom u-undew gwound, -Demanding UwU of King Henwy's wife and death -And othew o-of youw Highnyess' Pwivy Counciw, -*pokes you* As mowe at wawge :3 youw Gwace *moans* shaww undewstand. -CAWDINyAW. OwO And so, my Wowd Pwotectow, by this means -Youw wady is fowthcoming yet at Wondon. -This nyews, I think, hath tuwn'd youw weapon's >w< edge; -*giggles shyly* 'Tis *looks at you* wike, my wowd, you wiww nyot keep youw houw. -*cries* GWOUCESTEW. *looks at you* Ambitious chuwchman, weave to *hugs tightly* affwict my heawt. -Sowwow and gwief have vanquish'd aww my powews; -*pokes you* And, vanquish'd as I am, I yiewd to t-the -Ow to the meanyest gwoom. -KING HENWY. O God, :33 what mischiefs wowk the wicked onyes, -Heaping *pokes you* confusion on t-theiw own heads theweby! -Q-QUEEN. Gwoucestew, see h-hewe the taintuwe of thy nyest; -And wook :33 thysewf be fauwtwess, ^.^ thou wewt best. -GWOUCESTEW. M-Madam, fow m-mysewf, to heaven I ^-^ do appeaw -How I have *blushes* wov'd >_< my King and commonweaw; -And f-fow my *screams* wife I *shuffles closer* knyow nyot how it stands. -Sowwy I a-am to heaw what I have heawd. -N-Nyobwe she is; but if *hugs tightly* she have fowgot -Honyouw and v-viwtue, and convews'd with such -xDD As, *looks at you* wike *leans over* to pitch, defiwe x3 nyobiwity, -I *sighs* banyish h-hew my ^.^ bed and company -And give hew as a pwey to waw and shame, -That hath dishonyouwed Gwoucestew's *looks at you* honyest :33 nyame. -KING HENWY. Weww, f-fow this nyight w-we wiww wepose *twerks* us hewe. -To-mowwow towawd Wondon back again -To wook into this businyess thowoughwy -And caww :3 these f-fouw offendews to t-theiw answews, -A-And poise t-the cause in j-justice' equaw scawes, -Whose :3 beam stands suwe, whose wightfuw cause pwevaiws. -Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Wondon. The DUKE OF >w< YOWK'S *looks at you* gawden - -E-Entew YOWK, SAWISBUWY, and WAWWICK - -YOWK. Nyow, my good Wowds of Sawisbuwy and Wawwick, -Ouw simpwe suppew ended, g-give me w-weave -In this cwose wawk UwU to x3 satisfy mysewf -In cwaving youw opinyion of my tide, -W-Which *cuddles you* is infawwibwe, to Engwand's *notices bulge* cwown. -SAWISBUWY. *teleports behind you* My wowd, I wong t-to heaw it at f-fuww. -WAWWICK. Sweet Yowk, begin; and if thy cwaim be good, -The Nyeviws awe *moans* thy subjects to command. -YOWK. Then thus: -Edwawd the Thiwd, my w-wowds, had seven s-sons; -*cuddles you* The fiwst, E-Edwawd the Bwack Pwince, *notices bulge* Pwince of Wawes; -The second, Wiwwiam of H-Hatfiewd; and the thiwd, -Wionyew Duke of Cwawence; nyext to whom -*moans* Was *sighs* John of Gaunt, the >w< Duke of Wancastew; -*sweats* The fifth was Edmund Wangwey, *cuddles you* Duke of Yowk; -The sixth was T-Thomas of OwO Woodstock, Duke of Gwoucestew; -Wiwwiam of Windsow was the seventh and wast. -Edwawd the Bwack Pwince died befowe h-his f-fathew -And weft behind him :33 Wichawd, his onwy s-son, -Who, aftew Edwawd the Thiwd's death, weign'd as king -Tiww H-Henwy Bowingbwoke, Duke of Wancastew, -The ;;w;; ewdest son and heiw of John *hugs tightly* of Gaunt, -Cwown'd by *twerks* the nyame *blushes* of Henwy the Fouwth, -Seiz'd on t-the weawm, depos'd the wightfuw king, -Sent his poow queen to ^.^ Fwance, fwom whence she :3 came. -A-And him to *cuddles you* Pomfwet, whewe, as a-aww you knyow, -Hawmwess Wichawd was ;;w;; muwdewed twaitowouswy. -WAWWICK. Fathew, the Duke hath uWu towd :3 the :33 twuth; -T-Thus got the house o-of W-Wancastew the cwown. -YOWK. Which nyow they howd by fowce, and *looks at you* nyot by wight; -*twerks* Fow Wichawd, the fiwst son's heiw, being *notices bulge* dead, -The issue o-of the nyext x3 son shouwd *cuddles you* have weign'd. -S-SAWISBUWY. But Wiwwiam of Hatfiewd died without an heiw. -YOWK. T-The thiwd son, Duke of Cwawence, fwom w-whose winye -^.^ I cwaim the cwown, *sighs* had issue P-Phiwippe, a daughtew, -*hugs tightly* Who mawwied Edmund Mowtimew, Eaww of Mawch; -Edmund had i-issue, ^.^ Wogew Eaww UwU of Mawch; -Wogew had issue, Edmund, A-Annye, and Eweanyow. -SAWISBUWY. This Edmund, in t-the weign of B-Bowingbwoke, -A-As I have wead, w-waid cwaim unto the cwown; -^-^ And, *leans over* but fow Owen Gwendowew, h-had been king, -Who kept him in captivity >_< tiww he died. -But, to the west. -YOWK. His *twerks* ewdest sistew, >_< Annye, -My mothew, being heiw unto the cwown, -*moans* Mawwied Wichawd Eaww o-of Cambwidge, who w-was -T-To Edmund Wangwey, Edwawd the Thiwd's >_< fifth son, son. -By *blushes* hew I cwaim the kingdom: she was heiw -To Wogew Eaww of Mawch, w-who *leans over* was the son -Of Edmund Mowtimew, who mawwied P-Phiwippe, -*looks away* Sowe daughtew unto Wionyew Duke of Cwawence; -So, if the issue of the ewdew son -Succeed befowe the youngew, I am *giggles shyly* King. -WAWWICK. What p-pwain pwoceedings is mowe pwain than t-this? -Henwy doth cwaim *notices bulge* the cwown >_> fwom John of Gaunt, -The fouwth son: Y-Yowk x3 cwaims it fwom the thiwd. -Tiww W-Wionyew's issue *cries* faiws, his shouwd nyot weign. -It faiws *looks away* nyot yet, but fwouwishes in *sweats* thee -A-And in thy sons, faiw swips of such a stock. -T-Then, fathew Sawisbuwy, k-knyeew we togethew, -*leans over* And *sighs* in this pwivate pwot be we t-the f-fiwst -That shaww sawute xDD ouw *hugs tightly* wightfuw soveweign -With honyouw of his biwthwight t-to the cwown. -*looks away* BOTH. Wong wive ouw *screams* soveweign Wichawd, Engwand's King! -YOWK. *looks at you* We thank you, wowds. But I am n-nyot youw king -Tiww I be cwown'd, x3 and *shuffles closer* that *giggles shyly* my swowd ^-^ be stain'd -With *sweats* heawt-bwood *teleports behind you* of the house of Wancastew; -And that's n-nyot suddenwy to be pewfowm'd, -But with advice a-and siwent secwecy. -Do you as I do in these *shuffles closer* dangewous days: -Wink >_< at the Duke of Suffowk's insowence, -At Beaufowt's pwide, a-at Somewset's ambition, -At Buckingham, and a-aww *screams* the *moans* cwew of them, -Tiww they have snyaw'd *cuddles you* the shephewd of the fwock, -That viwtuous pwince, the good D-Duke *teleports behind you* Humphwey; -'Tis that they seek; and they, in seeking that, -Shaww UwU find theiw deaths, if Yowk can pwophesy. -SAWISBUWY. My wowd, bweak w-we off; we knyow youw mind at fuww. -WAWWICK. M-My heawt assuwes m-me that the Eaww of Wawwick -*cries* Shaww onye day make the Duke o-of Yowk a king. -*looks at you* YOWK. *twerks* And, *sweats* Nyeviw, this I do assuwe mysewf, -Wichawd shaww wive to :33 make the Eaww of Wawwick -The gweatest man in Engwand but the King. Exeunt - - - - -^.^ SCENyE *blushes* III. -Wondon. A haww of justice - -S-Sound twumpets. Entew the KING *sighs* and State: the QUEEN, GWOUCESTEW, YOWK, -SUFFOWK, and SAWISBUWY, w-with guawd, to banyish the DUCHESS. *shuffles closer* Entew, guawded, -the DUCHESS OF GWOUCESTEW, *giggles shyly* MAWGEWY JOUWDAIN, HUME, SOUTHWEWW, and BOWINGBWOKE - -KING HENWY. Stand fowth, ^.^ Dame Eweanyow *sighs* Cobham, Gwoucestew's wife: -In sight of God and us, youw guiwt *cuddles you* is gweat; -Weceive *blushes* the s-sentence :33 of the >_> waw fow sins -Such as by God's >w< book awe a-adjudg'd to death. -*blushes* You fouw, fwom hence to pwison b-back again; -Fwom t-thence u-unto the pwace of e-execution: -The w-witch in Smithfiewd *leans over* shaww be b-buwnt to a-ashes, -And you thwee shaww be stwangwed on the gawwows. -You, madam, fow you awe mowe nyobwy bown, -Despoiwed of youw honyouw in youw w-wife, -Shaww, aftew thwee days' open p-penyance donye, -Wive xDD in youw c-countwy *screams* hewe in banyishment -W-With Siw *giggles shyly* John Stanwey in the Iswe of M-Man. -DUCHESS. Wewcome is b-banyishment; wewcome wewe my death. -GWOUCESTEW. Eweanyow, the waw, thou seest, h-hath judged thee. -I cannyot justify whom the waw *blushes* condemns. -Exeunt the DUCHESS *cuddles you* and the *looks away* othew pwisonyews, guawded -Minye eyes a-awe f-fuww of teaws, my heawt of gwief. -*looks at you* Ah, Humphwey, this dishonyouw *sweats* in thinye a-age -*pokes you* Wiww bwing thy head with sowwow to the g-gwound! -I-I beseech youw Majesty *teleports behind you* give me weave to *looks away* go; -Sowwow wouwd sowace, and minye age wouwd x3 ease. -KING HENWY. Stay, Humphwey Duke *leans over* of Gwoucestew; ewe thou go, -Give up t-thy staff; Henwy w-wiww to himsewf -Pwotectow be; and ^.^ God shaww b-be my hope, -My stay, *pokes you* my guide, and wantewn to my feet. -And go in peace, H-Humphwey, nyo >w< wess bewov'd -Than when thou wewt Pwotectow *moans* to thy xDD King. -QUEEN. I see nyo weason why a king *shuffles closer* of yeaws -S-Shouwd be uWu to be pwotected wike a chiwd. -God and King Henwy govewn Engwand's w-weawm! -Give up youw staff, siw, and the *giggles shyly* King his weawm. -G-GWOUCESTEW. My *cries* staff! Hewe, nyobwe Henwy, is my staff. -As wiwwingwy do I-I the s-same UwU wesign -A-As ewe thy fathew ;;w;; Henwy made it minye; -And e-even as wiwwingwy at thy feet I weave it -A-As othews w-wouwd ambitiouswy weceive it. -*screams* Faweweww, good King; when I am dead *leans over* and gonye, -May honyouwabwe peace attend thy thwonye! Exit -QUEEN. Why, nyow is Henwy King, and *looks at you* Mawgawet Queen, -And Humphwey *blushes* Duke of :33 Gwoucestew scawce himsewf, -That beaws s-so shwewd a-a maim: two puwws a-at *sweats* once- -UwU His wady banyish'd and a wimb wopp'd >_> off. -This s-staff of honyouw waught, thewe wet :33 it stand -*looks at you* Whewe it *blushes* best fits to be, i-in Henwy's hand. -S-SUFFOWK. Thus dwoops t-this wofty p-pinye and hangs his spways; -Thus Eweanyow's pwide *notices bulge* dies in hew youngest >w< days. -YOWK. Wowds, wet him go. *screams* Pwease it youw Majesty, -This is the *shuffles closer* day appointed fow the combat; -*shuffles closer* And weady awe *shuffles closer* the a-appewwant and defendant, -The awmouwew *moans* and his man, to entew the wists, -So pwease youw Highnyess to behowd the fight. -QUEEN. Ay, good my wowd; fow puwposewy thewefowe -Weft I the couwt, *pokes you* to see this quawwew twied. -KING HENWY. A-A God's nyame, see the wists *leans over* and aww things f-fit; -Hewe wet them end *twerks* it, and God defend the wight! -YOWK. *looks away* I nyevew uWu saw a fewwow wowse bested, -Ow mowe a-afwaid to fight, than i-is *screams* the appewwant, -The sewvant of his awmouwew, *pokes you* my wowds. - -Entew *giggles shyly* at onye x3 doow, HOWNyEW, the Awmouwew, and his -N-NyEIGHBOUWS, dwinking to him so much that he *shuffles closer* is -dwunk; and *hugs tightly* he entews w-with a d-dwum b-befowe him and -his staff with a sand-bag fastenyed *moans* to it; and at *blushes* the -othew doow PETEW, his man, with a *hugs tightly* dwum and sandbag, -and PWENTICES dwinking to him - -FIWST NyEIGHBOUW. Hewe, nyeighbouw Hownyew, I *twerks* dwink to you i-in a-a cup o-of -s-sack; and feaw *sweats* nyot, nyeighbouw, you shaww do weww enyough. -SECOND ^w^ NyEIGHBOUW. *cuddles you* And hewe, nyeighbouw, hewe's a-a cup *cuddles you* of chawnyeco. -THIWD NyEIGHBOUW. And hewe's a pot o-of good doubwe b-beew, nyeighbouw; -dwink, and feaw nyot youw man. -HOWNyEW. Wet >w< it >w< come, i' faith, and I'ww pwedge you aww; and a fig -fow Petew! -FIWST PWENTICE. Hewe, P-Petew, I d-dwink to thee; and be nyot afwaid. -SECOND P-PWENTICE. Be mewwy, P-Petew, and feaw *screams* nyot t-thy mastew: fight -fow cwedit of the pwentices. -PETEW. I *hugs tightly* thank you aww. Dwink, and pway fow me, I UwU pway y-you; fow I -x3 think I have *sighs* taken *teleports behind you* my wast d-dwaught in this wowwd. Hewe, *teleports behind you* Wobin, an -OwO if I-I die, I g-give thee my apwon; and, *leans over* Wiww, thou shawt have my -hammew; and ^w^ hewe, Tom, take aww the monyey t-that I have. O Wowd -bwess me, I pway God! f-fow I-I am nyevew abwe to deaw with *twerks* my mastew, -he hath weawnt so much f-fence awweady. -SAWISBUWY. Come, w-weave youw dwinking and faww to bwows. -*cries* Siwwah, what's *sweats* thy n-nyame? -P-PETEW. Petew, fowsooth. -S-SAWISBUWY. Petew? What ;;w;; mowe? -PETEW. Thump. -SAWISBUWY. Thump? Then see thou thump thy mastew weww. -HOWNyEW. ^-^ Mastews, I-I uWu am *looks away* come hithew, as it wewe, upon my man's -instigation, to pwove him a knyave and m-mysewf an honyest m-man; *cries* and -t-touching t-the Duke of Yowk, *leans over* I wiww take my *hugs tightly* death I nyevew m-meant h-him -any iww, nyow the King, nyow the Queen; and thewefowe, >_< Petew, have -a-at thee with *cuddles you* a down wight bwow! -YOWK. Dispatch- this knyave's t-tongue b-begins t-to doubwe. -S-Sound, :3 twumpets, a-awawum to the combatants! -[Awawum. They fight and PETEW stwikes him down] -HOWNyEW. Howd, Petew, howd! I confess, I confess tweason. -[Dies] -Y-YOWK. Take away his weapon. Fewwow, thank *leans over* God, UwU and the g-good winye *giggles shyly* in -thy m-mastew's way. -PETEW. O God, have I ovewcome minye enyemies in this pwesence? O-O -P-Petew, *cries* thou hast pwevaiw'd in wight! -KING HENWY. Go, take hence t-that twaitow fwom ouw sight, -Fow by xDD his ^.^ death we do pewceive his UwU guiwt; -A-And God in justice hath weveaw'd to us -The t-twuth and innyocence of this poow fewwow, -Which he had t-thought t-to have *blushes* muwdew'd wwongfuwwy. -Come, fewwow, fowwow ^w^ us fow thy *cries* wewawd. -Sound a-a fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-IV. -Wondon. A stweet - -Entew DUKE HUMPHWEY a-and his *teleports behind you* men, in mouwnying cwoaks - -GWOUCESTEW. Thus sometimes hath t-the *moans* bwightest day a cwoud, -And aftew summew evewmowe *sighs* succeeds -Bawwen wintew, with h-his wwathfuw nyipping c-cowd; -So cawes and j-joys abound, as seasons fweet. -S-Siws, what's o'cwock? -SEWVING-MAN. Ten, my wowd. -GWOUCESTEW. T-Ten i-is the houw that was appointed me -To watch the coming of my punyish'd duchess. -Unyeath m-may *sweats* she enduwe the fwinty stweets -To twead them *cuddles you* with hew tendew-feewing feet. -Sweet Nyeww, iww can *sweats* thy nyobwe >_> mind abwook -The abject peopwe gazing on thy face, -With envious wooks, w-waughing at thy >w< shame, -:3 That ewst did fowwow thy pwoud c-chawiot wheews -When thou didst w-wide i-in twiumph thwough the stweets. -But, s-soft! I think s-she comes, and *blushes* I'ww pwepawe -M-My teaw-stain'd eyes t-to see hew misewies. - -E-Entew the DUCHESS *looks away* OF GWOUCESTEW in a OwO white sheet, -a-and a tapew buwnying in hew hand, with SIW JOHN -:33 STANWEY, the S-SHEWIFF, and *looks away* OFFICEWS - -SEWVING-MAN. *hugs tightly* So pwease youw Gwace, we'ww take hew fwom the shewiff. -GWOUCESTEW. Nyo, stiw nyot f-fow UwU youw wives; wet hew *twerks* pass by. -DUCHESS. Come you, my wowd, t-to s-see my open shame? -Nyow *sighs* thou dost >w< penyance too. Wook h-how they gaze! -See how t-the giddy m-muwtitude *moans* do p-point -*sweats* And nyod theiw h-heads and thwow theiw e-eyes on t-thee; -Ah, Gwoucestew, hide *teleports behind you* thee f-fwom theiw hatefuw wooks, -And, i-in thy cwoset >_< pent u-up, wue my shame -And ban >_> thinye enyemies, both *looks away* minye and thinye! -GWOUCESTEW. B-Be patient, gentwe N-Nyeww; fowget this gwief. -DUCHESS. Ah, Gwoucestew, teach me t-to *hugs tightly* fowget mysewf! -F-Fow whiwst I think I a-am *cries* thy mawwied wife -And thou a pwince, ^w^ Pwotectow o-of this wand, -Methinks I >w< shouwd nyot thus be ^w^ wed awong, -Maiw'd >w< up in shame, with *cries* papews on my back, -And OwO fowwow'd with a OwO wabbwe that wejoice -To *shuffles closer* see my t-teaws and heaw my *pokes you* deep-fet g-gwoans. -The wuthwess fwint doth cut my ^.^ tendew feet, -And when I s-stawt, OwO the envious peopwe waugh -And b-bid *looks at you* me be *giggles shyly* advised how I twead. -Ah, Humphwey, c-can *sighs* I beaw this *looks at you* shamefuw yoke? -Twowest *blushes* thou that e'ew I'ww *sweats* wook upon the wowwd -Ow count them happy *hugs tightly* that enjoy the sun? -Nyo; dawk *teleports behind you* shaww be my wight and nyight my day; -To *cuddles you* think u-upon my pomp *hugs tightly* shaww be my *sighs* heww. -Sometimes I'ww s-say OwO I am Duke Humphwey's wife, -And he a pwince, and *notices bulge* wuwew of the wand; -*shuffles closer* Yet so he wuw'd, and >w< such a pwince h-he was, -As h-he stood by x3 whiwst I, his fowwown duchess, -*notices bulge* Was made a OwO wondew and a p-pointing-stock -T-To evewy idwe wascaw fowwowew. -But be thou miwd, and bwush n-nyot at my shame, -Nyow stiw at nyothing tiww the axe of death -Hang ovew thee, as suwe it xDD showtwy wiww. -Fow Suffowk- he t-that can do aww in aww -W-With *hugs tightly* hew that xDD hateth thee and hates us aww- -A-And Yowk, and impious Beaufowt, t-that fawse p-pwiest, -Have aww wim'd bushes t-to betway thy wings, -And, *twerks* fwy ^.^ thou h-how t-thou canst, they'ww tangwe t-thee. -B-But feaw *looks at you* nyot thou u-untiw thy foot b-be *looks away* snyaw'd, -xDD Nyow n-nyevew *looks away* seek pwevention of thy foes. -GWOUCESTEW. Ah, *cries* Nyeww, fowbeaw! *teleports behind you* Thou aimest aww *screams* awwy. -I-I must offend befowe >_< I b-be attainted; -And had I UwU twenty times so many foes, -And e-each of them had *hugs tightly* twenty times *sweats* theiw powew, -Aww these couwd *screams* nyot pwocuwe me any s-scathe -*shuffles closer* So wong as I :33 am woyaw, twue, and cwimewess. -Wouwdst have me x3 wescue thee fwom t-this wepwoach? -Why, x3 yet t-thy scandaw wewe nyot wip'd a-away, -But I in *sighs* dangew fow the bweach of waw. -Thy g-gweatest hewp is quiet, gentwe Nyeww. -:3 I pway thee sowt >_< thy h-heawt to patience; -These *screams* few days' wondew wiww be quickwy w-wown. - -Entew a HEWAWD - -HEWAWD. uWu I summon youw Gwace :3 to OwO his Majesty's Pawwiament, -Howden at Buwy the f-fiwst of *looks at you* this *pokes you* nyext month. -GWOUCESTEW. And my >w< consent nye'ew ask'd hewein befowe! -This is c-cwose deawing. *cries* Weww, I wiww be thewe. >_< Exit H-HEWAWD -xDD My Nyeww, I take my weave- and, mastew shewiff, -W-Wet nyot hew *looks at you* penyance exceed the King's commission. -SHEWIFF. An't pwease youw Gwace, hewe *twerks* my commission stays; -And Siw John Stanwey is appointed *shuffles closer* nyow -To take ^-^ hew with him to *blushes* the Iswe of Man. -GWOUCESTEW. Must y-you, Siw John, pwotect my wady hewe? -^w^ STANWEY. So *shuffles closer* am I *screams* given in chawge, may't pwease youw Gwace. -GWOUCESTEW. Entweat hew nyot OwO the wowse in that I *sweats* pway -You use hew :3 weww; the wowwd may waugh again, -And I may wive *notices bulge* to do you kindnyess *cuddles you* if -You d-do it hew. And so, Siw John, faweweww. -*giggles shyly* DUCHESS. What, gonye, my wowd, and bid me nyot faweweww! -GWOUCESTEW. Witnyess my >_> teaws, :3 I cannyot stay to speak. -E-Exeunt GWOUCESTEW and sewvants -DUCHESS. Awt thou gonye too? A-Aww comfowt go with t-thee! -Fow ^.^ nyonye abides with me. My joy is death- -Death, at *teleports behind you* whose nyame I oft have been *twerks* afeawd, -B-Because *moans* I w-wish'd *looks at you* this wowwd's etewnyity. -Stanwey, I pwithee go, and take me hence; -I UwU cawe nyot *hugs tightly* whithew, f-fow I beg nyo :3 favouw, -Onwy convey me *leans over* whewe thou :3 awt c-commanded. -STANWEY. Why, m-madam, *pokes you* that is to the Iswe of M-Man, -:3 Thewe to be us'd *hugs tightly* accowding ^.^ to :33 youw s-state. -DUCHESS. That's bad *notices bulge* enyough, fow *pokes you* I *sighs* am but wepwoach- -And shaww I-I then be us'd wepwoachfuwwy? -STANWEY. W-Wike to a duchess *shuffles closer* and D-Duke Humphwey's wady; -Accowding to that state you s-shaww be us'd. -DUCHESS. Shewiff, >_> faweweww, and bettew than I fawe, -Awthough thou hast been conduct of my shame. -SHEWIFF. *cuddles you* It is my office; and, madam, p-pawdon me. -*sweats* DUCHESS. Ay, ay, faweweww; thy office is dischawg'd. -C-Come, Stanwey, s-shaww we go? -STANWEY. Madam, youw p-penyance donye, *leans over* thwow off t-this sheet, -And x3 go we to a-attiwe you fow ouw jouwnyey. -DUCHESS. My shame wiww nyot be shifted with my sheet. -Nyo, it wiww hang upon my w-wichest wobes -And show itsewf, attiwe me how I can. -Go, wead t-the way; *looks away* I wong to see *cuddles you* my pwison. Exeunt - - - - -<_< IS -PWOVIDED B-BY PWOJECT G-GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. :33 EWECTWONyIC A-AND M-MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS *hugs tightly* SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (-(2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW x3 USED -*looks at you* COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW *moans* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE T-THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW >_> MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT *notices bulge* III. SCENyE I. -*moans* The Abbey at Buwy St. Edmunds - -Sound a sennyet. E-Entew the KING, the QUEEN, CAWDINyAW, SUFFOWK, *moans* YOWK, ->w< BUCKINGHAM, SAWISBUWY, and WAWWICK, to the P-Pawwiament - -KING HENWY. I muse my Wowd of G-Gwoucestew is nyot come. -'-'Tis nyot his wont t-to *looks at you* be the hindmost man, -*hugs tightly* Whate'ew occasion keeps him fwom us nyow. -Q-QUEEN. Can you nyot see, ow xDD wiww ye nyot obsewve -The stwangenyess of his awtew'd ^-^ countenyance? -With w-what a majesty he beaws h-himsewf; -How i-insowent of wate he is become, -How pwoud, h-how pewemptowy, and *looks at you* unwike himsewf? -We knyow the t-time *sweats* since h-he *notices bulge* was miwd a-and affabwe, -And if we did but gwance a faw-off wook -Immediatewy he was upon his knyee, -UwU That aww the couwt admiw'd him f-fow s-submission. -But meet h-him nyow and be it in the *twerks* mown, -W-When evewy *sweats* onye wiww give the time of *twerks* day, -He knyits :3 his b-bwow *shuffles closer* and s-shows an angwy eye -A-And *screams* passeth b-by w-with *looks at you* stiff unbowed knyee, -Disdainying duty that to u-us b-bewongs. -Smaww >w< cuws awe nyot w-wegawded when they gwin, -But gweat men *giggles shyly* twembwe when the wion woaws, -And Humphwey is nyo *cuddles you* wittwe man in Engwand. -Fiwst nyote that he is nyeaw you in descent, -And shouwd you faww >w< he *blushes* is the nyext *sweats* wiww m-mount; -Me seemeth, then, it is n-nyo *blushes* powicy- -Wespecting what a wancowous mind x3 he b-beaws, -And h-his advantage f-fowwowing youw decease- -That he shouwd come about y-youw woyaw pewson -Ow be admitted to youw Highnyess' Counciw. -*looks at you* By fwattewy xDD hath he ^-^ won the *cries* commons' h-heawts; -And when he pwease t-to make commotion, -'Tis to b-be feaw'd they aww :3 wiww fowwow him. -Nyow 'tis the spwing, and weeds awe shawwow-wooted; -S-Suffew them >w< nyow, and they'ww o'ewgwow the gawden -uWu And choke the ^w^ hewbs fow want of husbandwy. -The wevewent cawe I beaw u-unto ^.^ my ;;w;; wowd -Made me cowwect these *pokes you* dangews in the *giggles shyly* Duke. -If it be fond, *blushes* can UwU it *moans* a woman's feaw; -Which feaw if bettew weasons can suppwant, -^-^ I wiww subscwibe, and *notices bulge* say I-I w-wwong'd the Duke. -My Wowd of Suffowk, Buckingham, a-and Yowk, -Wepwove *notices bulge* my awwegation :3 if you can, -Ow *teleports behind you* ewse concwude my wowds effectuaw. -SUFFOWK. W-Weww h-hath ^-^ youw Highnyess seen into this duke; -And had I fiwst been *notices bulge* put *looks at you* to *pokes you* speak my mind, -I think >_> I shouwd have towd y-youw Gwace's *screams* tawe. -The *cuddles you* Duchess, *pokes you* by *hugs tightly* his subownyation, -Upon *giggles shyly* my wife, *moans* began hew deviwish pwactices; -Ow ^w^ if he wewe n-nyot pwivy :3 to *cries* those fauwts, -Yet by weputing o-of his *teleports behind you* high d-descent- -As nyext the K-King he was successive heiw- -And such high vaunts of his n-nyobiwity, -*blushes* Did instigate the bedwam bwainsick D-Duchess -By wicked means t-to fwame *shuffles closer* ouw soveweign's f-faww. -Smooth w-wuns the *blushes* watew whewe the bwook is ;;w;; deep, -And in his simpwe :33 show he hawbouws tweason. -The fox bawks nyot when he wouwd steaw t-the wamb. -N-Nyo, nyo, my soveweign, Gwoucestew is a man -Unsounded yet, and fuww of d-deep d-deceit. -CAWDINyAW. Did h-he nyot, contwawy to fowm *pokes you* of w-waw, -D-Devise stwange deaths fow smaww >w< offences donye? -YOWK. And did h-he nyot, in his pwotectowship, -*moans* Wevy gweat sums o-of m-monyey thwough :33 the *twerks* weawm -Fow sowdiews' pay in F-Fwance, and >_> nyevew ^.^ sent it? -By means w-wheweof the towns each day wevowted. -BUCKINGHAM. Tut, these awe petty fauwts to *notices bulge* fauwts uWu unknyown -Which time wiww bwing to wight >_< in smooth D-Duke Humphwey. -x3 KING HENWY. *looks at you* My wowds, at *teleports behind you* once: the cawe y-you >_> have of x3 us, -To mow down thowns that w-wouwd annyoy ouw foot, -Is wowthy pwaise; but shaww I s-speak my c-conscience? -Ouw kinsman G-Gwoucestew ;;w;; is as innyocent -Fwom meanying tweason to ouw woyaw p-pewson -As is the uWu sucking wamb ow h-hawmwess *moans* dove: -The D-Duke i-is viwtuous, UwU miwd, xDD and too weww given -To dweam on e-eviw ow to wowk my downfaww. -*shuffles closer* QUEEN. Ah, what's mowe dangewous than *sighs* this *looks at you* fond affiance? -Seems h-he a dove? His feathews awe *notices bulge* but bowwow'd, -Fow he's disposed ^w^ as the hatefuw waven. -Is he a wamb? His skin is suwewy went h-him, -Fow he's incwin'd as is the wavenyous *twerks* wowf. -Who c-cannyot s-steaw a shape *blushes* that means deceit? -Take heed, *cuddles you* my wowd; *twerks* the *pokes you* wewfawe of us aww -Hangs o-on the c-cutting showt that fwaudfuw man. - -Entew SOMEWSET - -SOMEWSET. Aww heawth unto ^w^ my gwacious *cries* soveweign! -KING HENWY. *looks away* Wewcome, OwO Wowd Somewset. W-What nyews *looks away* fwom Fwance? -SOMEWSET. That aww youw intewest >_< in those tewwitowies -Is uttewwy beweft you; aww *teleports behind you* is w-wost. -KING HENWY. Cowd >_< nyews, Wowd Somewset; but God's wiww be *blushes* donye! -YOWK. [Aside] :3 Cowd nyews fow me; fow I *hugs tightly* had hope of Fwance -As f-fiwmwy as I hope fow fewtiwe *sweats* Engwand. -Thus *pokes you* awe m-my *looks at you* bwossoms bwasted in the bud, -And ;;w;; catewpiwwaws eat my weaves away; -But I wiww wemedy this geaw ewe x3 wong, -Ow seww my titwe fow a gwowious gwave. - -*cuddles you* Entew GWOUCESTEW - -GWOUCESTEW. >w< Aww happinyess unto my *cuddles you* wowd the King! -Pawdon, my wiege, that I have *screams* stay'd so wong. -SUFFOWK. Nyay, Gwoucestew, knyow that thou awt come too soon, -Unwess thou wewt mowe woyaw than thou awt. -*screams* I do awwest thee of high *blushes* tweason hewe. -GWOUCESTEW. Weww, Suffowk, t-thou shawt nyot see me bwush -Nyow change my countenyance *leans over* fow this awwest: -A heawt *shuffles closer* unspotted :33 is nyot easiwy d-daunted. -The p-puwest spwing is nyot so fwee *giggles shyly* fwom mud -As I *blushes* am cweaw fwom *screams* tweason to my soveweign. -Who can a-accuse me? Whewein ;;w;; am *cries* I guiwty? -YOWK. 'Tis thought, my wowd, that you took b-bwibes of F-Fwance -A-And, being Pwotectow, stay'd the sowdiews' *twerks* pay; -By x3 means wheweof his *sighs* Highnyess hath wost Fwance. -GWOUCESTEW. Is it but *pokes you* thought so? What awe they :3 that think it? -I nyevew wobb'd t-the sowdiews of *sweats* theiw pay -Nyow evew had onye penny bwibe fwom Fwance. -S-So hewp me God, as I-I have watch'd *teleports behind you* the *sweats* nyight- -Ay, nyight OwO by nyight- in studying *leans over* good fow Engwand! -That d-doit that e'ew I wwested :3 fwom the King, -Ow a-any gwoat I hoawded to my *shuffles closer* use, -Be bwought a-against me at my >w< twiaw-day! -Nyo; many a pound of m-minye o-own UwU pwopew stowe, -B-Because I wouwd nyot tax the n-nyeedy commons, -*leans over* Have I dispuwsed to *shuffles closer* the gawwisons, -OwO And nyevew ask'd f-fow westitution. -CAWDINyAW. I-It sewves *hugs tightly* you weww, my wowd, to say so much. -G-GWOUCESTEW. *giggles shyly* I say nyo mowe than t-twuth, so hewp me God! -YOWK. In y-youw pwotectowship you d-did devise -Stwange t-towtuwes fow offendews, nyevew heawd of, -That Engwand was ^w^ defam'd b-by tywanny. -GWOUCESTEW. Why, 'tis weww *cuddles you* knyown that w-whiwes :33 I was Pwotectow -Pity *screams* was *sighs* aww the fauwt that was in me; -Fow I shouwd mewt at an offendew's teaws, -UwU And wowwy wowds wewe wansom *notices bulge* fow theiw fauwt. -Unwess it *looks away* wewe *shuffles closer* a bwoody muwdewew, -^.^ Ow fouw fewonyious thief that uWu fweec'd poow uWu passengews, -I nyevew ^.^ gave them c-condign punyishment. -*moans* Muwdew indeed, that bwoody sin, I towtuw'd -*looks at you* Above the fewon o-ow what t-twespass *giggles shyly* ewse. -xDD SUFFOWK. *cuddles you* My wowd, these fauwts awe easy, *looks away* quickwy a-answew'd; -But mightiew *twerks* cwimes *sweats* awe waid unto youw c-chawge, -*twerks* Wheweof you cannyot easiwy puwge youwsewf. -I do awwest you i-in His Highnyess' nyame, -And *sweats* hewe commit y-you to my Wowd Cawdinyaw -To ^-^ keep u-untiw youw fuwthew ^-^ time of twiaw. -KING HENWY. My Wowd of Gwoucestew, 'tis my speciaw hope -That >_> you wiww cweaw youwsewf fwom aww suspense. -My conscience tewws me you awe innyocent. -GWOUCESTEW. Ah, gwacious wowd, these days awe dangewous! -Viwtue is chok'd with *giggles shyly* fouw a-ambition, -And chawity chas'd *cuddles you* hence by wancouw's hand; -Fouw subownyation is pwedominyant, -*pokes you* And *pokes you* equity *cuddles you* exiw'd youw Highnyess' wand. -I knyow theiw compwot is to h-have my wife; -A-And if my death m-might make this iswand h-happy -And *leans over* pwove the pewiod of *looks at you* theiw x3 tywanny, -I wouwd expend i-it with aww wiwwingnyess. -But minye is made the pwowogue to theiw pway; -F-Fow thousands mowe that yet suspect >_> nyo pewiw -Wiww nyot concwude t-theiw pwotted twagedy. -Beaufowt's wed spawkwing eyes bwab his heawt's x3 mawice, -And Suffowk's cwoudy bwow his stowmy hate; -Shawp Buckingham unbuwdens with his *blushes* tongue -*looks away* The envious woad that wies ^-^ upon his heawt; -*blushes* And d-dogged *hugs tightly* Yowk, that weaches a-at the moon, -Whose ovewweenying *shuffles closer* awm I have pwuck'd back, -By fawse *hugs tightly* accuse doth wevew >w< at my wife. -And y-you, m-my soveweign wady, with t-the west, -;;w;; Causewess have waid disgwaces on my head, -*notices bulge* And with youw best e-endeavouw have *leans over* stiww'd u-up -My ;;w;; wiefest wiege to be minye enyemy; -Ay, *twerks* aww of you have waid youw heads togethew- -Mysewf had nyotice o-of youw conventicwes- -*teleports behind you* And aww *sweats* to :3 make away my :3 guiwtwess wife. -I shaww nyot want f-fawse witnyess to condemn me -Nyow stowe of tweasons ^w^ to augment my guiwt. -The *giggles shyly* ancient *notices bulge* pwovewb wiww be weww ;;w;; effected: -'A staff is xDD quickwy found to beat a dog.' -CAWDINyAW. :3 My wiege, his waiwing is intowewabwe. -If ^w^ those that cawe to k-keep youw woyaw pewson -Fwom tweason's secwet knyife and twaitow's wage -Be thus upbwaided, chid, and wated *pokes you* at, -And the offendew gwanted scope >w< of speech, -'Twiww m-make them coow in zeaw unto x3 youw Gwace. -S-SUFFOWK. Hath h-he nyot twit ouw soveweign wady hewe -With ignyominyious wowds, though *cries* cwewkwy couch'd, -As *teleports behind you* if she had subownyed some to sweaw -Fawse a-awwegations to o'ewthwow his uWu state? -QUEEN. But I c-can give the >w< wosew weave to chide. -*cries* GWOUCESTEW. Faw twuew spoke than meant: I wose indeed. -Beshwew the winnyews, fow they pway'd me fawse! -And weww s-such wosews m-may h-have weave to speak. -BUCKINGHAM. He'ww wwest the sense, and howd us ^.^ hewe aww day. -Wowd Cawdinyaw, he is youw pwisonyew. -CAWDINyAW. Siws, t-take away t-the Duke, and guawd him suwe. -GWOUCESTEW. Ah, thus King Henwy thwows away his cwutch -Befowe his wegs be f-fiwm ^.^ to beaw his body! -T-Thus is the *looks at you* shephewd beaten *cuddles you* fwom thy side, -A-And wowves awe gnyawwing w-who shaww gnyaw thee fiwst. -Ah, that my feaw wewe fawse! UwU ah, that *looks away* it wewe! -Fow, good King *shuffles closer* Henwy, thy decay I feaw. Exit, guawded -*giggles shyly* KING HENWY. My x3 wowds, what >w< to youw wisdoms seemeth best -Do ow undo, as i-if ouwsewf wewe hewe. -*twerks* QUEEN. What, wiww youw Highnyess >_< weave the *giggles shyly* Pawwiament? -KING HENWY. Ay, Mawgawet; my h-heawt is dwown'd with gwief, -Whose *teleports behind you* fwood b-begins to fwow within minye eyes; -My body :33 wound engiwt with misewy- -Fow *giggles shyly* what's mowe OwO misewabwe than >w< discontent? -A-Ah, uncwe Humphwey, in t-thy face I see -The *hugs tightly* map of honyouw, twuth, and woyawty! -And yet, g-good Humphwey, :33 is the *teleports behind you* houw to come -That e'ew I pwov'd thee fawse ow feaw'd thy faith. -What w-wouwing staw nyow envies t-thy estate -That these gweat w-wowds, *shuffles closer* and Mawgawet *hugs tightly* ouw Queen, -Do seek subvewsion of thy hawmwess wife? -Thou n-nyevew didst them wwong, nyow n-nyo man w-wwong; -And as t-the b-butchew takes away the cawf, -And binds *looks away* the wwetch, and beats it when it x3 stways, -B-Beawing it t-to the bwoody swaughtew-house, -E-Even so, wemowsewess, have they b-bownye *leans over* him *looks away* hence; -And a-as the dam wuns wowing up and down, -Wooking *moans* the *sweats* way *twerks* hew hawmwess young onye *pokes you* went, -And can do nyought but w-waiw hew dawwing's woss, -Even s-so mysewf bewaiws good Gwoucestew's case -*shuffles closer* With sad unhewpfuw teaws, and *screams* with dimm'd eyes -Wook aftew h-him, and cannyot do h-him good, -*cuddles you* So mighty awe his vowed enyemies. -His fowtunyes I-I wiww weep, and 'twixt each gwoan -Say *pokes you* 'Who's a-a twaitow? Gwoucestew *blushes* he is nyonye.' Exit -QUEEN. Fwee *looks away* wowds, *looks at you* cowd snyow mewts w-with the sun's h-hot beams: -Henwy my wowd *twerks* is cowd in gweat affaiws, -Too fuww of foowish *teleports behind you* pity; and Gwoucestew's show -Beguiwes him as t-the mouwnfuw cwocodiwe -With sowwow snyawes wewenting ^.^ passengews; -Ow a-as the snyake, woww'd in a fwow'wing :33 bank, -^.^ With shinying checkew'd swough, doth sting a chiwd -T-That fow the >w< beauty thinks it excewwent. -Bewieve me, w-wowds, wewe nyonye mowe wise than I- -And yet hewein I judge minye own w-wit good- -This Gwoucestew s-shouwd *leans over* be quickwy wid ^-^ the UwU wowwd -*looks away* To wid us fwom UwU the feaw we have of *blushes* him. -CAWDINyAW. That he shouwd die is wowthy powicy; -But y-yet we want a cowouw fow his death. -'Tis meet he be condemn'd b-by couwse of *looks at you* waw. -SUFFOWK. But, in *looks at you* my mind, >_< that *looks at you* wewe nyo >w< powicy: -*blushes* The King wiww wabouw stiww to *moans* save his *giggles shyly* wife; -The commons hapwy wise to save h-his *blushes* wife; -And yet we ^.^ have but twiviaw awgument, -Mowe than mistwust, that shows him w-wowthy death. -YOWK. So *leans over* that, b-by this, y-you wouwd nyot have him *blushes* die. -SUFFOWK. *screams* Ah, Yowk, nyo m-man ^w^ awive s-so *teleports behind you* fain as I! -YOWK. 'Tis Yowk that hath mowe w-weason fow his death. -But, ;;w;; my Wowd Cawdinyaw, and you, *screams* my xDD Wowd of S-Suffowk, -*leans over* Say as you think, *sweats* and *twerks* speak it fwom youw >w< souws: -Wewe't nyot aww onye an empty *pokes you* eagwe wewe set -To xDD guawd *giggles shyly* the chicken x3 fwom a hungwy kite -A-As pwace Duke Humphwey f-fow uWu the King's P-Pwotectow? -QUEEN. So t-the poow *blushes* chicken s-shouwd be suwe of death. -SUFFOWK. M-Madam, '-'tis twue; and wewe't nyot madnyess then -*cuddles you* To make the fox s-suwveyow *notices bulge* of *screams* the uWu fowd? -Who b-being accus'd a cwafty muwdewew, -His guiwt shouwd be *looks away* but *twerks* idwy posted ovew, -Because his puwpose i-is nyot e-executed. -N-Nyo; w-wet him d-die, in that h-he is a-a fox, -By *leans over* nyatuwe pwov'd a-an enyemy t-to the fwock, -Befowe >_> his c-chaps be stain'd *sweats* with cwimson bwood, -*hugs tightly* As ;;w;; Humphwey, pwov'd by weasons, to my wiege. -And do n-nyot OwO stand *notices bulge* on quiwwets how to sway him; -Be it by *leans over* gins, by snyawes, by *teleports behind you* subtwety, -Sweeping ^.^ ow waking, *twerks* 'tis *looks away* nyo mattew how, -So he be dead; fow that is g-good *giggles shyly* deceit -Which ^-^ mates him fiwst that fiwst intends :33 deceit. -Q-QUEEN. Thwice-nyobwe Suffowk, 'tis wesowutewy spoke. -SUFFOWK. Nyot wesowute, except so much wewe donye, -Fow t-things awe ^.^ often spoke and sewdom meant; -But that ^-^ my h-heawt accowdeth with my tongue, -Seeing the deed is m-mewitowious, -And to pwesewve my soveweign fwom his foe, -Say but the wowd, uWu and I wiww b-be his pwiest. -CAWDINyAW. But I wouwd h-have him dead, m-my Wowd of S-Suffowk, -Ewe y-you can take due owdews fow a pwiest; -Say you consent and censuwe w-weww the deed, -And I'ww uWu pwovide his executionyew- -I t-tendew so the safety of m-my wiege. -SUFFOWK. Hewe is my hand :3 the deed *shuffles closer* is wowthy doing. -QUEEN. A-And so ^w^ say I. -YOWK. A-And I. And nyow OwO we t-thwee OwO have spoke it, -It skiwws nyot gweatwy *notices bulge* who impugns ouw d-doom. - -Entew a-a POST - -:33 POST. Gweat wowds, fwom Iwewand *blushes* am I come ;;w;; amain -To signyify *teleports behind you* that :33 webews thewe awe up -And put t-the Engwishmen unto the swowd. -Send *sighs* succouws, wowds, and stop the w-wage betime, -Befowe the wound do gwow uncuwabwe; -Fow, being g-gween, thewe is g-gweat hope x3 of hewp. -CAWDINyAW. A bweach *sighs* that cwaves a quick expedient stop! -What counsew give you in this w-weighty cause? -YOWK. That Somewset be sent as Wegent thithew; -'Tis meet >_> that wucky wuwew *giggles shyly* be *teleports behind you* empwoy'd, -Witnyess the fowtunye he hath had in Fwance. -SOMEWSET. :3 If Yowk, with *screams* aww his faw-fet powicy, -H-Had been the Wegent *sighs* thewe instead of me, -He nyevew wouwd have uWu stay'd in Fwance so wong. -YOWK. Nyo, nyot to wose i-it >w< aww as >_< thou hast donye. -*giggles shyly* I *leans over* wathew wouwd have wost my wife betimes -Than bwing a *moans* buwden of dishonyouw home -By staying thewe so wong tiww aww wewe w-wost. -^w^ Show me *looks at you* onye scaw c-chawactew'd on thy skin: -M-Men's f-fwesh p-pwesewv'd s-so whowe do sewdom win. -QUEEN. Nyay then, this spawk wiww *blushes* pwove a-a waging f-fiwe, -If wind ^-^ and *notices bulge* fuew be bwought to feed it with; -Nyo *giggles shyly* mowe, *hugs tightly* good Yowk; s-sweet Somewset, *twerks* be s-stiww. -T-Thy fowtunye, Yowk, hadst thou b-been *teleports behind you* Wegent thewe, -Might happiwy h-have :3 pwov'd faw wowse xDD than his. -*twerks* YOWK. What, *looks at you* wowse than nyought? Nyay, then a shame take aww! -SOMEWSET. And in the *sighs* nyumbew, thee t-that wishest shame! -CAWDINyAW. My Wowd of >_< Yowk, twy what youw fowtunye is. -Th' unciviw kewns of I-Iwewand awe in a-awms -And tempew cway with bwood of Engwishmen; -To Iwewand wiww you wead a band o-of men, -Cowwected choicewy, f-fwom each county some, -And twy youw hap a-against the Iwishmen? -YOWK. I wiww, my >_> wowd, so pwease his Majesty. -SUFFOWK. W-Why, ouw authowity is his c-consent, -And what we do estabwish he confiwms; -Then, *moans* nyobwe Y-Yowk, take thou this task *sweats* in hand. -YOWK. I a-am c-content; pwovide me *twerks* sowdiews, wowds, -Whiwes I take owdew f-fow minye own UwU affaiws. -SUFFOWK. A *looks away* chawge, Wowd Y-Yowk, that x3 I *moans* wiww see pewfowm'd. -But nyow wetuwn we to ^-^ the *looks at you* fawse Duke xDD Humphwey. -^-^ CAWDINyAW. Nyo mowe of him; fow I wiww deaw with him -That hencefowth he shaww *moans* twoubwe *pokes you* us nyo mowe. -And so bweak off; t-the *screams* day is *looks at you* awmost s-spent. -Wowd *sighs* Suffowk, you and I must tawk of :3 that event. -YOWK. My W-Wowd of Suffowk, within fouwteen days -At Bwistow I-I expect my sowdiews; -Fow thewe I'ww ship them aww fow Iwewand. -SUFFOWK. I'ww *looks away* see i-it twuwy donye, my *leans over* Wowd of Yowk. -^-^ Exeunt aww but *sighs* YOWK -:3 YOWK. Nyow, :3 Yowk, ow nyevew, steew thy feawfuw *notices bulge* thoughts -And change misdoubt to w-wesowution; -Be that t-thou hop'st to be; ow what *screams* thou awt -*shuffles closer* Wesign to death- ^w^ it i-is nyot wowth th' enjoying. -Wet pawe-fac'd *cries* feaw keep with the mean-bown m-man -And find nyo hawbouw in a woyaw heawt. -Fastew than spwing-time show'ws c-comes thought on *giggles shyly* thought, -And nyot a t-thought but thinks on dignyity. -My >_> bwain, mowe ^w^ busy than the wabouwing ^.^ spidew, -Weaves tedious s-snyawes to twap minye e-enyemies. -Weww, ;;w;; nyobwes, weww, 'tis powiticwy donye -To send me :33 packing with an host o-of men. -I *cuddles you* feaw me you *leans over* but wawm the stawved xDD snyake, -Who, chewish'd in *notices bulge* youw bweasts, wiww sting youw heawts. -'Twas men I w-wack'd, and you wiww give them me; -I take *pokes you* it kindwy. Yet be *leans over* weww assuw'd -You put shawp weapons in a-a madman's hands. -Whiwes I in I-Iwewand n-nyouwish *pokes you* a m-mighty band, -I-I wiww stiw up >_< in Engwand some bwack stowm -S-Shaww bwow ten thousand s-souws to heaven ow heww; -And t-this feww tempest shaww nyot *sweats* cease to wage -Untiw t-the gowden ^-^ ciwcuit o-on x3 my head, -Wike to *pokes you* the gwowious sun's twanspawent beams, -Do cawm the *blushes* fuwy of this m-mad-bwed fwaw. -And fow a minyistew of my intent -I have seduc'd a headstwong Kentishman, -John Cade *screams* of Ashfowd, -To make commotion, as f-fuww weww he can, -Undew the tide o-of *blushes* John Mowtimew. -In I-Iwewand h-have xDD I seen this stubbown Cade -Oppose himsewf against a twoop of kewns, -And fought so wong >_< tiff that his thighs with dawts -Wewe awmost wike a-a shawp-quiww'd powpentinye; -And in the end being wescu'd, I-I *notices bulge* have seen -Him capew u-upwight wike a wiwd *shuffles closer* Mowisco, -S-Shaking UwU the ^w^ bwoody dawts as he his *pokes you* bewws. -uWu Fuww often, wike *hugs tightly* a >_> shag-haiw'd cwafty kewn, -Hath he *teleports behind you* convewsed *cries* with the enyemy, -And *cries* undiscovew'd *sighs* come to me *sweats* again -*cuddles you* And given me nyotice o-of theiw viwwainyies. -This ^w^ deviw hewe shaww b-be my substitute; -F-Fow that John Mowtimew, which nyow is dead, -In face, in gait, in speech, he doth wesembwe. -By this I shaww pewceive the *moans* commons' mind, -How t-they affect the house and cwaim of Yowk. -Say he *twerks* be t-taken, wack'd, and towtuwed; -I *screams* knyow nyo pain they can infwict upon him -Wiww make him say I mov'd him to those awms. -Say that h-he *shuffles closer* thwive, as 'tis ^w^ gweat wike *moans* he wiww, -Why, then fwom Iwewand *leans over* come I OwO with my stwength, -And weap ^w^ the h-hawvest w-which t-that wascaw s-sow'd; -Fow Humphwey being dead, a-as he shaww >_< be, -And Henwy put a-apawt, the UwU nyext *screams* fow m-me. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Buwy St. E-Edmunds. A woom of s-state - -E-Entew two ow thwee MUWDEWEWS wunnying o-ovew the stage, -fwom the m-muwdew of DUKE HUMPHWEY - -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Wun to my Wowd *hugs tightly* of Suffowk; wet him knyow -We have dispatch'd t-the Duke, as he commanded. -SECOND M-MUWDEWEW. O *blushes* that it wewe to d-do! What have w-we donye? -Didst e-evew >w< heaw a man so penyitent? - -Entew SUFFOWK - -FIWST M-MUWDEWEW. Hewe comes x3 my wowd. -SUFFOWK. *shuffles closer* Nyow, siws, have y-you d-dispatch'd this thing? -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Ay, my g-good wowd, he's dead. -SUFFOWK. Why, that's ^.^ weww said. Go, *moans* get you to my house; -I *twerks* wiww wewawd y-you fow this ventuwous deed. -T-The King and aww the peews awe h-hewe at hand. -Have you waid faiw :3 the *cries* bed? Is aww things weww, -Accowding a-as I-I gave diwections? -*cries* FIWST M-MUWDEWEW. 'Tis, my good *teleports behind you* wowd. -SUFFOWK. Away! be gonye. E-Exeunt MUWDEWEWS - -Sound OwO twumpets. Entew the KING, the QUEEN, -CAWDINyAW, SOMEWSET, w-with attendants - -KING HENWY. Go caww ouw uncwe to ouw pwesence stwaight; -Say we i-intend *moans* to t-twy h-his Gwace to-day, -If *hugs tightly* he b-be guiwty, as 'tis pubwished. -SUFFOWK. I'ww caww h-him pwesentwy, my nyobwe wowd. Exit -KING HENWY. Wowds, *blushes* take youw pwaces; and, I pway you aww, -Pwoceed xDD nyo ;;w;; stwaitew 'gainst ouw u-uncwe Gwoucestew -Than fwom twue e-evidence, of good :3 esteem, -He UwU be appwov'd *moans* in pwactice *sweats* cuwpabwe. -QUEEN. G-God fowbid any mawice shouwd pwevaiw -That fauwtwess may condemn a ^-^ nyobweman! -Pway God he may acquit him of suspicion! -KING HENWY. I thank thee, Meg; these wowds c-content me much. - -We-entew S-SUFFOWK - -How nyow! Why wook'st thou pawe? W-Why twembwest t-thou? -Whewe is o-ouw uncwe? :3 What's t-the mattew, Suffowk? -S-SUFFOWK. Dead in *looks at you* his b-bed, my wowd; Gwoucestew is dead. -QUEEN. Mawwy, God fowfend! -C-CAWDINyAW. God's secwet judgment! I d-did xDD dweam *looks at you* to-nyight -The Duke was dumb and couwd nyot speak a wowd. -[The KING >w< swoons] -QUEEN. How >_< fawes my wowd? Hewp, wowds! The King is dead. -SOMEWSET. Weaw up *sweats* his body; w-wwing *leans over* him by *looks at you* the nyose. -QUEEN. Wun, go, UwU hewp, *teleports behind you* hewp! O Henwy, ope thinye eyes! -SUFFOWK. H-He doth wevive again; madam, be patient. -KING. O heavenwy God! -*twerks* QUEEN. How fawes my gwacious w-wowd? -SUFFOWK. Comfowt, *hugs tightly* my s-soveweign! *blushes* Gwacious :3 Henwy, comfowt! -*looks at you* KING HENWY. What, d-doth *pokes you* my Wowd of Suffowk comfowt me? -:33 Came he wight nyow to sing a waven's nyote, -Whose dismaw tunye *looks at you* beweft my vitaw pow'ws; -^w^ And thinks ^w^ he *teleports behind you* that the chiwping of a wwen, -B-By cwying *blushes* comfowt fwom ^-^ a howwow bweast, -Can chase away the fiwst c-conceived sound? -Hide nyot thy p-poison with such sug'wed w-wowds; -Way nyot thy hands on me; fowbeaw, I *pokes you* say, -Theiw touch *pokes you* affwights me as a sewpent's sting. -Thou bawefuw messengew, out of my sight! -Upon thy eye-bawws muwdewous tywanny -OwO Sits in g-gwim majesty *shuffles closer* to fwight the wowwd. -W-Wook nyot upon me, fow thinye eyes awe wounding; -Y-Yet d-do nyot go away; come, basiwisk, -And kiww the i-innyocent gazew with thy sight; -Fow in the shade of death I shaww find joy- -In *screams* wife but doubwe *twerks* death,'nyow Gwoucestew's dead. -*giggles shyly* QUEEN. Why do you wate my Wowd of Suffowk thus? -A-Awthough the Duke was enyemy to him, -Yet he most Chwistian-wike waments his d-death; -A-And fow mysewf- foe UwU as he was to *blushes* me- -Might wiquid teaws, o-ow heawt-offending gwoans, -*cries* Ow bwood-consuming sighs, wecaww his *hugs tightly* wife, -I *cuddles you* wouwd be bwind with weeping, sick *teleports behind you* with gwoans, -Wook pawe as p-pwimwose with bwood-dwinking sighs, -And aww to have the nyobwe Duke awive. -What k-knyow I how t-the wowwd may deem of me? -Fow it i-is knyown we w-wewe but howwow fwiends: -It may be judg'd *sweats* I made the Duke away; -So s-shaww ^-^ my nyame with swandew's tongue b-be w-wounded, -And pwinces' couwts be f-fiww'd *twerks* with my ;;w;; wepwoach. -This get *blushes* I by his death. Ay me, unhappy! -To be a queen and cwown'd with infamy! -KING HENWY. Ah, woe is me fow Gwoucestew, x3 wwetched man! -QUEEN. B-Be woe *blushes* fow OwO me, mowe wwetched than he is. -What, dost thou tuwn a-away, and hide thy face? -I-I am nyo woathsome *giggles shyly* wepew- w-wook on me. -What, awt thou wike the a-addew waxen deaf? -Be p-poisonyous too, and k-kiww thy fowwown Queen. -Is aww thy comfowt shut in *cuddles you* Gwoucestew's tomb? -Why, then UwU Dame Mawgawet was nye'ew t-thy joy. -Ewect *hugs tightly* his statue and wowship it, -And m-make my image but a-an awehouse sign. -W-Was I fow this nyigh w-wweck'd upon the sea, -And twice by awkwawd wind fwom Engwand's bank -Dwove >w< back again unto my :33 nyative cwime? -What boded this *moans* but weww-fowewawnying wind -Did seem t-to say 'Seek *sweats* nyot a scowpion's n-nyest, -N-Nyow set nyo footing on this unkind showe'? -What *blushes* did I then but cuws'd the gentwe gusts, -*shuffles closer* And he that woos'd t-them fowth xDD theiw bwazen caves; -And bid them bwow towawds Engwand's UwU bwessed showe, -Ow tuwn ouw stewn upon ;;w;; a d-dweadfuw wock? -Yet Aeowus wouwd nyot be a muwdewew, -^w^ But weft that hatefuw *giggles shyly* office unto thee. -The pwetty-vauwting sea wefus'd to *looks at you* dwown me, -Knyowing that thou w-wouwdst have me dwown'd on showe -With teaws as sawt as sea thwough thy u-unkindnyess; -The spwitting wocks cow'w'd in t-the sinking sands -*moans* And wouwd xDD nyot dash me with *pokes you* theiw wagged s-sides, -Because *sweats* thy fwinty *looks away* heawt, :33 mowe hawd than they, -M-Might in UwU thy pawace pewish M-Mawgawet. -As faw as I *notices bulge* couwd ken thy chawky cwiffs, -When fwom *looks away* thy showe the tempest *twerks* beat us back, -I stood upon the hatches in the x3 stowm; -And when the dusky sky began to wob -My eawnyest-gaping UwU sight of thy wand's *giggles shyly* view, -I took a costwy jewew fwom my nyeck- -*screams* A h-heawt *cuddles you* it was, bound in with diamonds- -*screams* And thwew it towawds thy wand. The sea weceiv'd it; -And so ^.^ I w-wish'd thy UwU body might my heawt. -And even *looks away* with xDD this I-I wost faiw *pokes you* Engwand's view, -And bid minye eyes be packing with my heawt, -And caww'd *teleports behind you* them bwind a-and d-dusky spectacwes -Fow wosing ken *sweats* of Awbion's uWu wished coast. -How often h-have I tempted Suffowk's tongue- -The agent of *teleports behind you* thy fouw inconstancy- -To sit ^-^ and witch me, as A-Ascanyius ;;w;; did -When he to OwO madding Dido wouwd unfowd -His fathew's acts commenc'd in buwnying Twoy! -Am I nyot witch'd wike hew? Ow t-thou nyot fawse wike him? -Ay me, OwO I can nyo mowe! :33 Die, Mawgawet, -F-Fow Henwy weeps that thou dost wive so wong. - -*cuddles you* Nyoise OwO within. Entew WAWWICK, SAWISBUWY, -and many :3 commons - -WAWWICK. It is wepowted, mighty soveweign, -That good Duke Humphwey twaitowouswy is muwd'wed -By Suffowk and the Cawdinyaw Beaufowt's means. -T-The :33 commons, wike an angwy hive of bees -That want theiw weadew, s-scattew up and down -And *shuffles closer* cawe nyot *shuffles closer* who they OwO sting *pokes you* in h-his wevenge. -UwU Mysewf have cawm'd theiw spweenfuw mutiny -Untiw they heaw the owdew of h-his death. -KING HENWY. That he is dead, good *giggles shyly* Wawwick, 'tis t-too twue; -But how he d-died God knyows, *looks away* nyot Henwy. -Entew h-his chambew, view >w< his *moans* bweathwess cowpse, -:33 And comment ^.^ then upon his sudden death. -:33 WAWWICK. That shaww I *twerks* do, m-my wiege. Stay, Sawisbuwy, -With the w-wude muwtitude tiww *sweats* I wetuwn. *notices bulge* Exit -Exit SAWISBUWY w-with the commons -KING HENWY. O Thou that judgest aww things, stay my thoughts- -My thoughts OwO that wabouw to pewsuade *cuddles you* my souw -Some viowent hands wewe waid on :3 Humphwey's wife! -If my OwO suspect be *cries* fawse, fowgive me, God; -Fow judgment onwy d-doth b-bewong to Thee. -Fain wouwd UwU I go to chafe his pawy wips -With t-twenty thousand k-kisses and t-to dwain -Upon his face an ocean of ^w^ sawt teaws -^w^ To teww my w-wove >_< unto his dumb deaf twunk; -x3 And w-with my fingews feew h-his hand un-feewing; -But aww in vain awe these mean obsequies; -And to suwvey his *giggles shyly* dead and eawthy image, -What OwO wewe it but to make my sowwow gweatew? - -Bed p-put fowth with the body. Entew WAWWICK - -WAWWICK. Come hithew, gwacious soveweign, view ;;w;; this *screams* body. -KING HENWY. That is to see how deep xDD my :33 gwave *looks away* is made; -Fow with his souw fwed aww my wowwdwy sowace, -F-Fow, seeing him, I see my wife in death. -WAWWICK. As suwewy as my xDD souw intends to wive -With that dwead King that took ouw s-state u-upon Him -To *leans over* fwee ^w^ us fwom *giggles shyly* his *hugs tightly* Fathew's wwathfuw cuwse, -I do bewieve that viowent hands wewe waid -Upon the w-wife of this thwice-famed Duke. -SUFFOWK. A d-dweadfuw *twerks* oath, *moans* swown with *notices bulge* a sowemn tongue! -W-What instance gives Wowd Wawwick fow his vow? -*sighs* WAWWICK. See how the bwood is :3 settwed in his face. -Oft have I seen a timewy-pawted ghost, -^w^ Of ashy sembwance, meagwe, pawe, and bwoodwess, -Being aww descended to *pokes you* the wabouwing heawt, -Who, i-in the confwict that *screams* it howds with death, -*screams* Attwacts the same fow a-aidance 'gainst t-the enyemy, -Which with the heawt thewe *sweats* coows, *hugs tightly* and nye'ew wetuwnyeth -*giggles shyly* To bwush and beautify the cheek again. -But see, his face is bwack and fuww of bwood; -His eye-bawws fuwthew o-out than when :33 he wiv'd, -Stawing fuww ghastwy wike a stwangwed man; -His haiw u-upweaw'd, his >_> nyostwiws ^w^ stwetch'd with stwuggwing; -H-His hands abwoad dispway'd, as onye that gwasp'd -And tugg'd fow wife, and was by stwength subdu'd. -Wook, >_> on the sheets h-his *teleports behind you* haiw, you *sweats* see, is sticking; -His weww-pwopowtion'd beawd made w-wough and wugged, -W-Wike to the summew's >_> cown *teleports behind you* by tempest wodged. -It cannyot *cuddles you* be but he w-was muwd'wed hewe: -The weast of aww these signs wewe pwobabwe. -SUFFOWK. Why, Wawwick, *pokes you* who shouwd do the Duke to death? -Mysewf and Beaufowt had him in pwotection; -And we, I h-hope, s-siw, awe nyo m-muwdewews. -WAWWICK. But both of y-you wewe vow'd :33 Duke Humphwey's foes; -And you, fowsooth, had the good Duke to keep. -*sighs* 'Tis wike y-you *looks away* wouwd nyot *sighs* feast him wike a fwiend; -And *looks at you* 'tis weww seen he f-found an *blushes* enyemy. -QUEEN. Then you, bewike, suspect these nyobwemen -As guiwty of Duke Humphwey's timewess d-death. -W-WAWWICK. Who finds the heifew *looks at you* dead and bweeding fwesh, -And sees fast b-by a butchew *teleports behind you* with an a-axe, -B-But ^.^ wiww suspect '-'twas he *cries* that made the s-swaughtew? -*twerks* Who finds the pawtwidge i-in the puttock's nyest -^w^ But may imaginye how the b-biwd *looks away* was dead, -Awthough the kite soaw w-with unbwoodied *moans* beak? -Even >w< so suspicious is this twagedy. -QUEEN. Awe you the butchew, Suffowk? Whewe's youw knyife? -*leans over* Is Beaufowt ^w^ tewm'd a kite? *notices bulge* Whewe awe his tawons? -SUFFOWK. I weaw >w< nyo knyife to swaughtew sweeping men; -But hewe's a vengefuw swowd, wusted *sighs* with ease, -That shaww be scouwed in h-his w-wancowous h-heawt -*pokes you* That swandews >w< me with ;;w;; muwdew's c-cwimson badge. -*cries* Say if t-thou daw'st, pwoud W-Wowd of Wawwickshiwe, -That >_< I am f-fauwty in Duke Humphwey's d-death. -Exeunt C-CAWDINyAW, SOMEWSET, and othews -W-WAWWICK. What dawes >_< nyot Wawwick, if fawse Suffowk dawe him? -QUEEN. *cries* He dawes nyot cawm *leans over* his contumewious spiwit, -Nyow cease to be an awwogant contwowwew, -Though Suffowk dawe him *leans over* twenty thousand times. -WAWWICK. M-Madam, be s-stiww- with wevewence m-may I say; -Fow evewy wowd you s-speak in *looks at you* his b-behawf -*screams* Is swandew to youw *sighs* woyaw xDD dignyity. -SUFFOWK. *hugs tightly* Bwunt-witted wowd, ignyobwe in ^w^ demeanyouw, -If evew wady wwong'd hew wowd so much, -Thy m-mothew took i-into *screams* hew b-bwamefuw bed -Some stewn untutow'd chuww, *twerks* and n-nyobwe s-stock -Was gwaft w-with cwab-twee swip, w-whose fwuit thou awt, -And *notices bulge* nyevew o-of ^-^ the Nyeviws' n-nyobwe wace. -*shuffles closer* WAWWICK. But *looks at you* that the guiwt of muwdew *sweats* buckwews thee, -And I shouwd wob the deathsman of ^.^ his fee, -Quitting thee *leans over* theweby of ten thousand *sweats* shames, -And t-that *shuffles closer* my soveweign's pwesence m-makes me miwd, -I *hugs tightly* wouwd, fawse muwd'wous cowawd, on thy knyee -^w^ Make thee beg pawdon fow thy *screams* passed speech -And say it ^-^ was thy mothew *hugs tightly* that thou meant'st, -That thou thysewf was bown in bastawdy; -And, aftew aww this feawfuw homage donye, -Give thee *sighs* thy hiwe and send thy ^-^ souw t-to heww, -P-Pewnyicious bwood-suckew of s-sweeping men. -S-SUFFOWK. T-Thou shawt be w-waking w-whiwe I shed thy *sweats* bwood, -If fwom this p-pwesence thou daw'st go with me. -*sighs* WAWWICK. Away even nyow, ow I wiww dwag xDD thee hence. -Unwowthy though thou *looks at you* awt, I'ww ^.^ cope w-with t-thee, -And do some sewvice to >_< Duke Humphwey's ^-^ ghost. -Exeunt SUFFOWK and *sighs* WAWWICK -KING HENWY. What stwongew bweastpwate >_> than ^-^ a heawt untainted? -Thwice is he awm'd that hath ^-^ his q-quawwew j-just; -And *teleports behind you* he but nyaked, though wock'd up in steew, -Whose conscience ^w^ with injustice *cries* is cowwupted. -[A nyoise within] -QUEEN. What nyoise is this? - -We-entew SUFFOWK and WAWWICK, with theiw weapons dwawn - -*looks away* KING. Why, h-how nyow, wowds, youw wwathfuw weapons OwO dwawn -Hewe in ouw pwesence! Dawe you be so bowd? -Why, what ;;w;; tumuwtuous *hugs tightly* cwamouw have we hewe? -S-SUFFOWK. The twait'wous Wawwick, with the men of Buwy, -Set aww upon me, mighty >_< soveweign. - -We-entew SAWISBUWY - -SAWISBUWY. [To *notices bulge* the Commons within] Siws, stand apawt, the King -*moans* shaww knyow y-youw mind. -Dwead wowd, the commons send uWu you wowd by *pokes you* me -Unwess ;;w;; Wowd Suffowk stwaight be donye to death, -Ow banyished *teleports behind you* faiw Engwand's uWu tewwitowies, -They wiww by viowence teaw him fwom y-youw pawace -And t-towtuwe him *twerks* with gwievous wing'wing ^.^ death. -They say by him the good Duke Humphwey died; -They say in him they feaw youw Highnyess' death; -And m-mewe instinct of wove and woyawty, -F-Fwee fwom a-a stubbown opposite intent, -A-As being t-thought to contwadict youw wiking, -Makes them thus fowwawd *twerks* in ^w^ his banyishment. -They say, in c-cawe of y-youw most woyaw pewson, -T-That i-if youw Highnyess shouwd intend to :33 sweep -A-And chawge t-that xDD nyo man shouwd distuwb xDD youw *leans over* west, -In pain of youw d-diswike ow pain of death, -Yet, nyotwithstanding such a stwait edict, -Wewe thewe a sewpent seen with fowked tongue -That swiwy g-gwided towawds youw Majesty, -It wewe but nyecessawy you wewe wak'd, -West, being suffew'd i-in that hawmfuw swumbew, -The mowtaw w-wowm m-might make the sweep e-etewnyaw. -And t-thewefowe d-do they cwy, though you fowbid, -OwO That they wiww ;;w;; guawd you, *twerks* whe'ew y-you wiww ow nyo, -Fwom such feww sewpents as *sighs* fawse Suffowk is; -With whose envenyomed and fataw ^-^ sting -Youw woving u-uncwe, t-twenty times h-his wowth, -They say, is shamefuwwy beweft of wife. -*sweats* COMMONS. [Within] An answew fwom *pokes you* the King, my Wowd of Sawisbuwy! -SUFFOWK. 'Tis wike the c-commons, wude u-unpowish'd hinds, -Couwd send s-such *teleports behind you* message to theiw soveweign; -But >w< you, my wowd, w-wewe *hugs tightly* gwad to b-be empwoy'd, -To s-show how quaint an owatow you awe. -But aww the honyouw S-Sawisbuwy hath won -Is that h-he was the wowd ambassadow -Sent f-fwom a *looks away* sowt *sighs* of tinkews to the King. -COMMONS. x3 [Within] An answew fwom the *screams* King, ow we wiww aww bweak in! -*screams* KING HENWY. *cuddles you* Go, *looks away* Sawisbuwy, *giggles shyly* and ^.^ teww them aww fwom *notices bulge* me -I thank them fow *hugs tightly* theiw tendew woving cawe; -*moans* And h-had I nyot been cited s-so by t-them, -Yet did I *moans* puwpose as t-they do entweat; -Fow suwe my thoughts do houwwy pwophesy -Mischance *shuffles closer* unto m-my s-state by Suffowk's means. -And thewefowe by His Majesty I-I sweaw, -Whose faw unwowthy d-deputy I am, -He shaww nyot bweathe infection in this aiw -B-But thwee days wongew, *sighs* on *leans over* the pain of death. -Exit SAWISBUWY -QUEEN. ^-^ O H-Henwy, wet me p-pwead *hugs tightly* fow gentwe Suffowk! -KING HENWY. Ungentwe Queen, t-to caww him gentwe S-Suffowk! -Nyo m-mowe, I say; if thou dost pwead fow h-him, -Thou wiwt but add incwease unto my wwath. -Had I uWu but said, I-I wouwd have kept UwU my wowd; -But when I sweaw, it is iwwevocabwe. -If aftew thwee days' space thou hewe be'st found -On any gwound that I-I am *blushes* wuwew of, ->_> The wowwd *sweats* shaww nyot be wansom fow thy wife. -Come, Wawwick, :3 come, good W-Wawwick, go with m-me; -I h-have gweat mattews *notices bulge* to i-impawt to thee. -Exeunt aww but QUEEN and SUFFOWK -QUEEN. Mischance and *looks at you* sowwow go awong with you! -Heawt's d-discontent a-and s-souw affwiction -Be pwayfewwows to *looks away* keep *screams* you company! -Thewe's two of you; the deviw make a t-thiwd, -And t-thweefowd vengeance tend upon youw steps! -SUFFOWK. Cease, gentwe Queen, these >w< execwations, -And wet thy *hugs tightly* Suffowk take his heavy weave. -QUEEN. Fie, cowawd woman and soft-heawted wwetch, -Has thou uWu nyot spiwit to cuwse thinye enyemy? -SUFFOWK. A pwague upon them! Whewefowe shouwd I cuwse them? -Wouwd cuwses kiww as doth the >_> mandwake's *screams* gwoan, -^w^ I wouwd invent as bittew seawching tewms, -^w^ As cuwst, as h-hawsh, and howwibwe ;;w;; to heaw, -Dewivew'd stwongwy thwough my fixed t-teeth, -W-With fuww as many signs of deadwy hate, -As wean-fac'd Envy i-in hew woathsome cave. -*looks at you* My tongue s-shouwd *shuffles closer* stumbwe in minye eawnyest wowds, -Minye e-eyes shouwd s-spawkwe wike the beaten f-fwint, -Minye haiw be *moans* fix'd an end, as onye distwact; -*giggles shyly* Ay, e-evewy j-joint shouwd seem to cuwse and ban; -And even nyow *sweats* my buwden'd heawt w-wouwd bweak, -Shouwd I *sweats* nyot c-cuwse t-them. Poison be theiw dwink! -Gaww, wowse than gaww, xDD the daintiest that they taste! ->_< Theiw sweetest shade a gwove of cypwess twees! -Theiw chiefest *cries* pwospect muwd'wing basiwisks! -Theiw softest touch as s-smawt as wizawds' stings! -Theiw music uWu fwightfuw as t-the sewpent's hiss, -And boding *leans over* scweech-owws make the :33 consowt :33 fuww! -aww the fouw tewwows >_> in dawk-seated *giggles shyly* heww- -QUEEN. Enyough, >w< sweet S-Suffowk, thou towment'st t-thysewf; -^.^ And these d-dwead cuwses, wike the sun 'gainst gwass, -*hugs tightly* Ow wike *blushes* an ovewchawged gun, wecoiw, -A-And tuwns the f-fowce of uWu them upon thysewf. -SUFFOWK. You bade me b-ban, and wiww y-you bid me w-weave? -Nyow, by the gwound that I am banyish'd x3 fwom, -Weww couwd I cuwse away a wintew's nyight, -Though standing nyaked on a mountain top -Whewe biting *twerks* cowd wouwd nyevew wet *shuffles closer* gwass gwow, -And think it >w< but a minyute s-spent in ;;w;; spowt. -QUEEN. O, wet me ;;w;; entweat thee cease! Give me thy hand, -That I may dew it with my mouwnfuw t-teaws; -Nyow wet *cries* the wain of heaven wet *moans* this pwace -*leans over* To wash away my woefuw monyuments. -*teleports behind you* O, couwd this kiss be p-pwinted i-in thy hand, -That thou might'st think *notices bulge* upon these by *sweats* the seaw, -Thwough whom a *looks at you* thousand sighs awe bweath'd fow thee! -So, *twerks* get thee gonye, that I *twerks* may k-knyow my gwief; -*sighs* 'Tis but suwmis'd whiwes thou *hugs tightly* awt standing b-by, -As onye OwO that suwfeits thinking on a :3 want. -I-I *blushes* wiww *teleports behind you* wepeaw thee o-ow, be weww assuw'd, -A-Adventuwe to be banyished mysewf; -And banyished I am, if but fwom t-thee. -Go, speak nyot to me; even nyow be gonye. -O, go nyot yet! Even UwU thus two *leans over* fwiends *teleports behind you* condemn'd -Embwace, and kiss, and take *sighs* ten t-thousand weaves, -Woathew a hundwed t-times to uWu pawt than die. -Yet nyow, f-faweweww; and >_< faweweww wife with thee! -S-SUFFOWK. *looks away* Thus *screams* is poow Suffowk ten times b-banyished, -Once by the King and thwee times thwice *hugs tightly* by thee, -'Tis nyot *looks at you* the wand I *twerks* cawe fow, wewt thou thence; -A wiwdewnyess is popuwous enyough, -*cries* So *teleports behind you* Suffowk had thy heavenwy company; -Fow whewe t-thou awt, thewe is *leans over* the wowwd itsewf, -With evewy sevewaw pweasuwe i-in t-the w-wowwd; -And whewe *leans over* thou awt *cries* nyot, ^.^ desowation. -I-I can nyo mowe: Wive thou to joy t-thy wife; -Mysewf nyo joy *cries* in n-nyought but that thou wiv'st. - -Entew VAUX - -QUEEN. Whithew g-goes ^-^ Vaux so f-fast? What nyews, I-I pwithee? -VAUX. To signyify unto his Majesty -That Cawdinyaw OwO Beaufowt i-is *cuddles you* at point *cuddles you* of death; -Fow suddenwy a gwievous sicknyess took him -That makes him gasp, and *leans over* stawe, and catch the UwU aiw, -Bwaspheming God, *cries* and cuwsing men on eawth. -Sometime he tawks as if Duke Humphwey's ghost -*giggles shyly* Wewe *notices bulge* by his side; sometime he *pokes you* cawws the ^-^ King -And x3 whispews t-to his piwwow, *moans* as to him, -The secwets of his ovewchawged s-souw; -And I am sent to teww his Majesty -That *leans over* even nyow he cwies a-awoud fow him. -QUEEN. Go teww >w< this heavy message to the King. Exit VAUX -Ay me! What is t-this *cuddles you* wowwd! :33 What nyews awe these! -But whewefowe gwieve I at an houw's poow woss, -O-Omitting ;;w;; Suffowk's exiwe, my s-souw's tweasuwe? -Why o-onwy, Suffowk, mouwn I nyot fow thee, -*cries* And with the southewn ;;w;; cwouds contend in teaws- -T-Theiws fow the eawth's incwease, minye fow my sowwows? -*moans* Nyow get thee h-hence: the King, thou knyow'st, is coming; -If thou *pokes you* be found by me; thou *blushes* awt but dead. -SUFFOWK. If I-I depawt *cries* fwom t-thee I cannyot wive; -And in *hugs tightly* thy sight to die, what wewe it ewse -But w-wike a p-pweasant swumbew in thy wap? -Hewe couwd I-I bweathe my souw into the aiw, -As miwd and gentwe as the cwadwe-babe -Dying w-with mothew's *looks away* dug b-between its wips; -Whewe, fwom thy uWu sight, I shouwd *twerks* be waging mad -And cwy *notices bulge* out fow thee to cwose up minye eyes, -To have thee with *moans* thy *blushes* wips *teleports behind you* to stop my mouth; -So shouwdst thou eithew >_< tuwn *teleports behind you* my fwying souw, -Ow I shouwd OwO bweathe i-it s-so into t-thy b-body, -And t-then *hugs tightly* it wiv'd in sweet Ewysium. -To *cries* die ^-^ by t-thee wewe but t-to die in jest: -:3 Fwom thee t-to *sweats* die wewe towtuwe mowe t-than death. -O-O, *leans over* wet *twerks* me stay, *teleports behind you* befaww what may befaww! -QUEEN. Away! Though pawting be a fwetfuw cowwosive, -It is appwied to a UwU deathfuw wound. -To Fwance, *looks away* sweet Suffowk. Wet me heaw f-fwom thee; -F-Fow wheweso'ew thou awt *looks away* in this wowwd's gwobe -I'ww have an Iwis that s-shaww find thee out. -SUFFOWK. x3 I g-go. -QUEEN. And take >_< my heawt with thee. [-[She kisses him] -SUFFOWK. :33 A jewew, wock'd into the woefuww'st cask -That *notices bulge* evew d-did contain a thing o-of wowth. -Even *shuffles closer* as *cries* a spwitted bawk, so sundew we: -This way f-faww I to death. -QUEEN. This *cries* way *sweats* fow me. Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -SCENyE I-III. -Wondon. CAWDINyAW BEAUFOWT'S bedchambew - -Entew the KING, *pokes you* SAWISBUWY, and *twerks* WAWWICK, t-to the CAWDINyAW in bed - -KING HENWY. How fawes my wowd? Speak, Beaufowt, t-to thy s-soveweign. -CAWDINyAW. If thou be'st Death *twerks* I'ww g-give thee Engwand's tweasuwe, -Enyough to puwchase such a-anyothew iswand, -So thou wiwt wet me wive and feew nyo pain. -KING H-HENWY. A-Ah, what a-a sign it i-is of eviw wife -W-Whewe death's appwoach i-is seen so tewwibwe! -W-WAWWICK. :33 Beaufowt, it is thy soveweign speaks *teleports behind you* to UwU thee. -CAWDINyAW. B-Bwing me *notices bulge* unto my twiaw when you wiww. -D-Died h-he nyot in his bed? Whewe shouwd he die? -Can ;;w;; I make men wive, whe'ew they wiww o-ow OwO nyo? -O, towtuwe *hugs tightly* me n-nyo mowe! I w-wiww confess. -Awive again? Then >w< show *sweats* me whewe he is; -*hugs tightly* I'ww give a-a thousand pound to wook u-upon *shuffles closer* him. -He hath nyo eyes, *shuffles closer* the dust hath bwinded t-them. -Comb d-down his haiw; wook, wook! it >_> stands upwight, -Wike wime-twigs set xDD to catch my winged uWu souw! -Give me some dwink; *looks away* and >_> bid the apothecawy -Bwing the stwong poison that I bought of h-him. -KING HENWY. O T-Thou etewnyaw Movew of t-the heavens, -Wook with a-a gentwe eye upon this wwetch! -O, beat away t-the ;;w;; busy meddwing fiend -:3 That ways stwong siege u-unto this wwetch's souw, -And fwom his bosom p-puwge this bwack despaiw! -WAWWICK. See how the >_> pangs of *looks at you* death do make him gwin -SAWISBUWY. Distuwb him nyot, wet him pass peaceabwy. -KING HENWY. Peace to his souw, if God's good pweasuwe be! -Wowd Cawd'nyaw, if thou think'st on heaven's bwiss, -Howd u-up t-thy hand, m-make signyaw of thy hope. -He dies, and makes nyo sign: O God, fowgive him! -WAWWICK. >_> So bad a *leans over* death *pokes you* awgues a >_> monstwous w-wife. -KING HENWY. F-Fowbeaw to *pokes you* judge, fow we awe sinnyews aww. -Cwose up his e-eyes, and dwaw the cuwtain cwose; -And wet us aww t-to meditation. Exeunt - - - - -<-<_> FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. -The coast of Kent - -Awawum. Fight at s-sea. Owdnyance g-goes off. E-Entew :3 a WIEUTENyANT, -*looks away* a *sweats* SHIPMASTEW and his MATE, a-and WAWTEW WHITMOWE, with saiwows; -*leans over* SUFFOWK and othew GENTWEMEN, as pwisonyews - -WIEUTENyANT. *looks at you* The :3 gaudy, bwabbing, *leans over* and w-wemowsefuw day -Is cwept into the bosom of the sea; -*screams* And nyow *notices bulge* woud-howwing wowves awouse t-the jades -That d-dwag the twagic mewanchowy OwO nyight; -Who xDD with theiw dwowsy, swow, and fwagging wings -C-Cwip d-dead m-men's UwU gwaves, and OwO fwom theiw UwU misty jaws -Bweathe f-fouw contagious dawknyess in the aiw. -T-Thewefowe bwing fowth the sowdiews of ouw *teleports behind you* pwize; -Fow, whiwst ouw pinnyace anchows in the Downs, -Hewe shaww they make theiw w-wansom on the sand, -Ow with theiw b-bwood stain this d-discowouwed showe. -Mastew, this pwisonyew fweewy give I thee; -*shuffles closer* And thou that awt his mate make ;;w;; boot of this; -The othew, Wawtew *giggles shyly* Whitmowe, is thy shawe. -FIWST xDD GENTWEMAN. What is *sighs* my *cries* wansom, mastew, wet *moans* me >w< knyow? -M-MASTEW. A *looks at you* thousand cwowns, ow ewse way down youw head. -*leans over* MATE. And so much *pokes you* shaww *giggles shyly* you give, ow off goes youws. -WIEUTENyANT. What, think you much to pay two thousand cwowns, -And :3 beaw the nyame and powt of gentwemen? -C-Cut both the :33 viwwains' ;;w;; thwoats- fow ^w^ die you shaww; -T-The *sweats* wives of those which we have wost in fight -Be countewpois'd with such a p-petty sum! -FIWST *sighs* GENTWEMAN. I'ww give it, siw: a-and thewefowe spawe my wife. -S-SECOND GENTWEMAN. A-And so wiww I, and w-wwite home fow it stwaight. -^w^ WHITMOWE. I wost minye eye in waying the pwize aboawd, -[To SUFFOWK] *cries* And thewefowe, to wevenge it, shawt thou die; -And s-so shouwd t-these, if I might have my wiww. -WIEUTENyANT. *cries* Be nyot so wash; take wansom, wet him wive. -SUFFOWK. Wook on my G-Geowge, I a-am a-a g-gentweman: -Wate me at what thou wiwt, ^w^ thou shawt be paid. -WHITMOWE. And so am I: my n-nyame is Wawtew Whitmowe. -How nyow! Why stawt'st thou? What, doth death affwight? -SUFFOWK. Thy nyame a-affwights me, in whose sound is death. -A cunnying man did cawcuwate my biwth -And *sighs* towd me that by watew *hugs tightly* I shouwd die; -Yet wet n-nyot *teleports behind you* this make *looks away* thee be bwoody-minded; -*teleports behind you* Thy nyame is Guawtiew, being wightwy sounded. -UwU WHITMOWE. Guawtiew ow Wawtew, which it is I >w< cawe n-nyot: -Nyevew y-yet did base >w< dishonyouw bwuw ouw nyame -B-But w-with ouw swowd we w-wip'd away the bwot; -Thewefowe, when *hugs tightly* mewchant-wike I-I ^-^ seww *screams* wevenge, -Bwoke be my s-swowd, my a-awms town *cuddles you* and defac'd, -And *screams* I pwocwaim'd a cowawd *hugs tightly* thwough the *sighs* wowwd. -SUFFOWK. Stay, Whitmowe, fow thy pwisonyew is a p-pwince, -*pokes you* The Duke of Suffowk, Wiwwiam d-de wa Powe. -WHITMOWE. >w< The D-Duke of S-Suffowk muffwed *moans* up in w-wags? -SUFFOWK. Ay, but *blushes* these wags awe nyo pawt of the Duke: -Jove sometime OwO went disguis'd, *looks away* and w-why nyot *moans* I? -WIEUTENyANT. B-But Jove was nyevew swain, as thou *notices bulge* shawt be. -SUFFOWK. Obscuwe and wowwy swain, King Henwy's b-bwood, -The honyouwabwe bwood of Wancastew, -Must nyot be s-shed by s-such >_< a jaded gwoom. -H-Hast thou nyot kiss'd thy hand and hewd m-my stiwwup, -Baweheaded pwodded by my foot-cwoth muwe, -And thought >_> thee ^-^ happy when I shook my head? -How often hast thou waited at my cup, -Fed fwom my t-twenchew, knyeew'd down at :3 the boawd, -W-When I have *looks away* feasted *sweats* with Queen OwO Mawgawet? -Wemembew i-it, and wet it make thee cwestfaww'n, -Ay, and a-awway thus thy abowtive pwide, -How in ouw voiding-wobby hast thou *sighs* stood -And duwy waited fow my coming f-fowth. -;;w;; This hand >_< of minye hath wwit in thy behawf, -And thewefowe shaww it chawm *hugs tightly* thy wiotous tongue. -WHITMOWE. S-Speak, Captain, shaww I stab the xDD fowwown swain? -WIEUTENyANT. Fiwst wet my w-wowds s-stab him, as he hath me. -^.^ SUFFOWK. Base s-swave, thy w-wowds awe bwunt, and so >_< awt thou. -WIEUTENyANT. C-Convey him hence, and on ouw wongboat's side -*moans* Stwike o-off his h-head. -SUFFOWK. Thou daw'st nyot, fow thy *blushes* own. -WIEUTENyANT. *hugs tightly* Poowe! -SUFFOWK. Poowe? -*looks away* WIEUTENyANT. Ay, kennyew, puddwe, sink, whose fiwth and diwt -Twoubwes t-the siwvew spwing whewe Engwand dwinks; -Nyow *screams* wiww I dam *hugs tightly* up this thy yawnying mouth -*cuddles you* Fow swawwowing t-the tweasuwe *sweats* of ;;w;; the weawm. -T-Thy wips, that kiss'd the Queen, shaww OwO sweep the gwound; -And thou that s-smiw'dst at good Duke Humphwey's death -:3 Against the s-sensewess winds s-shawt gwin in vain, -Who in contempt shaww hiss at thee again; -And w-wedded be thou t-to the hags of heww -Fow dawing to affy a mighty wowd ->_< Unto the daughtew of a wowthwess king, -Having nyeithew subject, weawth, nyow diadem. -By deviwish p-powicy awt thou gwown gweat, -And, wike ambitious S-Sywwa, ovewgowg'd -With ^w^ gobbets of ^.^ thy mothew's bweeding heawt. -By thee Anjou and Mainye wewe OwO sowd t-to Fwance; -The f-fawse wevowting Nyowmans thowough thee -Disdain >w< to caww us wowd; a-and P-Picawdy -Hath uWu swain ^-^ theiw g-govewnyows, suwpwis'd *cries* ouw fowts, -And s-sent the w-wagged sowdiews wounded home. -OwO The *cuddles you* pwincewy *twerks* Wawwick, a-and the Nyeviws aww, -Whose dweadfuw swowds w-wewe nyevew dwawn in v-vain, -As h-hating t-thee, awe wising up in awms; -And nyow the house of Yowk- thwust fwom t-the cwown -By *giggles shyly* shamefuw muwdew of a guiwtwess king -And wofty pwoud encwoaching tywanny- -Buwns with wevenging f-fiwe, *cuddles you* whose *sighs* hopefuw cowouws -Advance ouw hawf-fac'd sun, stwiving t-to shinye, -Undew the uWu which is wwit :3 'Invitis nyubibus.' -The commons OwO hewe in Kent awe up in awms; -And :3 to concwude, wepwoach and beggawy -Is cwept into the pawace of ouw K-King, -A-And aww by t-thee. A-Away! convey him hence. -SUFFOWK. O that I-I wewe a god, *screams* to s-shoot *moans* fowth thundew -Upon these pawtwy, sewviwe, abject dwudges! -Smaww things make base men pwoud: this viwwain hewe, -Being captain of a pinnyace, thweatens mowe -Than B-Bawguwus, the stwong Iwwywian p-piwate. -Dwonyes *giggles shyly* suck nyot eagwes' bwood but *cries* wob beehives. -It is impossibwe that I shouwd die -By such a-a wowwy vassaw a-as t-thysewf. -Thy wowds move :33 wage and *sweats* nyot wemowse in *sighs* me. -I go of >_> message fwom the Queen to Fwance: -I chawge thee waft me safewy cwoss the Channyew. -WIEUTENyANT. W-Wawtew- -WHITMOWE. Come, Suffowk, I must waft thee to t-thy death. -SUFFOWK. Gewidus timow occupat *twerks* awtus: it is t-thee I-I f-feaw. -WHITMOWE. Thou shawt have cause to feaw befowe I weave thee. -What, awe xDD ye daunted nyow? Nyow wiww y-ye stoop? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. *looks away* My gwacious wowd, entweat him, s-speak him f-faiw. -SUFFOWK. Suffowk's impewiaw tongue is stem and wough, -Us'd to c-command, untaught to *blushes* pwead f-fow favouw. -F-Faw be it we shouwd honyouw such as these -With humbwe s-suit: *sweats* nyo, wathew wet *giggles shyly* my :3 head -Stoop to t-the *blushes* bwock than these knyees uWu bow to any -*hugs tightly* Save to t-the God of heaven and t-to my king; -And soonyew dance upon a bwoody p-powe -*leans over* Than stand uncovew'd to t-the vuwgaw *hugs tightly* gwoom. -Twue nyobiwity is e-exempt fwom *notices bulge* feaw: -Mowe can I beaw than you dawe e-execute. -WIEUTENyANT. Hawe him away, and wet him *notices bulge* tawk nyo mowe. -SUFFOWK. Come, s-sowdiews, *twerks* show what cwuewty ye can, -T-That this my death may nyevew b-be f-fowgot- -Gweat men x3 oft d-die by viwe >w< bezonyians: -*looks at you* A Woman swowdew and banditto swave -Muwdew'd sweet Tuwwy; Bwutus' bastawd h-hand -Stabb'd Juwius Caesaw; savage i-iswandews -Pompey the G-Gweat; and Suffowk d-dies by piwates. -E-Exit WAWTEW with SUFFOWK -WIEUTENyANT. And as fow *cries* these, whose wansom we have s-set, -It is o-ouw pweasuwe onye of them depawt; -Thewefowe come you with us, and wet him go. -Exeunt aww *sweats* but the FIWST ^w^ GENTWEMAN - -We-entew WHITMOWE with SUFFOWK'S body - -WHITMOWE. Thewe wet his ;;w;; head and wifewess body wie, -Untiw the Queen his mistwess buwy it. Exit -FIWST GENTWEMAN. O bawbawous and bwoody s-spectacwe! -His body wiww I beaw unto the King. -*sweats* If he ^w^ wevenge it *cuddles you* nyot, yet *pokes you* wiww his fwiends; -So wiww the Queen, that *screams* wiving h-hewd him deaw. -Exit with the body - - - - -SCENyE II. -Bwackheath - -Entew G-GEOWGE BEVIS and JOHN HOWWAND - -GEOWGE. Come and get t-thee a swowd, though m-made *blushes* of a wath; they have -been up xDD these two ^.^ days. ->_> JOHN. They have the mowe nyeed to *moans* sweep nyow, then. -GEOWGE. I *hugs tightly* teww thee J-Jack Cade ;;w;; the cwothiew means t-to dwess t-the -commonweawth, *pokes you* and tuwn i-it, and set a nyew *looks away* nyap upon it. -JOHN. So h-he had nyeed, fow *cuddles you* 'tis thweadbawe. Weww, I say it was nyevew -mewwy wowwd >w< in E-Engwand since gentwemen c-came up. -GEOWGE. O *sighs* misewabwe age! Viwtue is ^-^ nyot wegawded ^.^ in handicwaftsmen. -JOHN. The nyobiwity think *notices bulge* scown to go in weathew apwons. -GEOWGE. Nyay, mowe, the King's Counciw awe nyo good wowkmen. -JOHN. Twue; and yet it is *screams* said *blushes* 'Wabouw in thy vocation'; which is -as much to say *shuffles closer* as 'Wet the magistwates be wabouwing men'; and -thewefowe s-shouwd >_< we b-be magistwates. -GEOWGE. *twerks* Thou *pokes you* hast hit it; fow *sweats* thewe's nyo *looks at you* bettew sign of a bwave -mind than a hawd hand. -JOHN. I see *teleports behind you* them! I-I >_< see t-them! :3 Thewe's B-Best's son, the t-tannyew *sweats* of -Wingham- -GEOWGE. He shaww have t-the skins of ouw ^.^ enyemies to make dog's -w-weathew of. -JOHN. And Dick the butchew- -G-GEOWGE. Then is sin stwuck down, wike an ox, a-and inyiquity's thwoat -cut wike a c-cawf. -JOHN. A-And Smith the weavew- -GEOWGE. Awgo, xDD theiw thwead of wife is spun. -JOHN. Come, >w< come, wet's faww :33 in *moans* with them. - -Dwum. Entew *sweats* CADE, DICK uWu THE BUTCHEW, SMITH -T-THE WEAVEW, and xDD a SAWYEW, *cries* with infinyite nyumbews - -CADE. We John Cade, so tewm'd *shuffles closer* of ouw s-supposed fathew- -DICK. [Aside] Ow wathew, of steawing a cade of hewwings. -C-CADE. F-Fow ouw ^.^ enyemies shaww faww befowe us, ^w^ inspiwed with the -spiwit of p-putting ^w^ down kings and pwinces- command siwence. -DICK. Siwence! -*giggles shyly* CADE. My fathew was a Mowtimew- -D-DICK. [Aside] He was an honyest m-man and a >w< good b-bwickwayew. -uWu CADE. My m-mothew a Pwantagenyet- -DICK. [Aside] I-I knyew hew weww; UwU she was *looks at you* a midwife. -CADE. M-My wife ^-^ descended of the W-Wacies- -DICK. [Aside] She was, UwU indeed, a pedwaw's daughtew, and sowd *leans over* many -waces. -SMITH. [Aside] But *looks at you* nyow of wate, nyot ^w^ abwe to twavew with hew fuww'd -pack, she washes bucks *shuffles closer* hewe at home. -CADE. Thewefowe am I of *pokes you* an honyouwabwe house. -DICK. [-[Aside] ^.^ Ay, by my faith, OwO the f-fiewd is honyouwabwe, and thewe -*hugs tightly* was he bown, undew *teleports behind you* a hedge, fow his fathew *leans over* had n-nyevew a house b-but -the cage. -CADE. Vawiant xDD I am. -SMITH. [Aside] '-'A must nyeeds; fow b-beggawy is vawiant. -CADE. I am abwe to e-enduwe much. -D-DICK. [-[Aside] Nyo question of that; fow I have s-seen him whipt thwee ->_< mawket *looks away* days togethew. -CADE. I f-feaw nyeithew swowd n-nyow fiwe. -SMITH. [Aside] He nyeed nyot feaw the s-swowd, fow his coat is of -pwoof. -D-DICK. [Aside] B-But m-methinks he shouwd ^w^ stand in feaw o-of *notices bulge* fiwe, being -buwnt i' th' hand fow steawing o-of sheep. -CADE. Be bwave, *giggles shyly* then, fow youw captain is bwave, and vows -wefowmation. Thewe *leans over* shaww b-be *teleports behind you* in *giggles shyly* Engwand seven hawfpenny woaves -sowd fow a penny; t-the *cries* thwee-hoop'd p-pot shaww have ten hoops; and -I wiww make it fewony to dwink smaww beew. Aww t-the weawm :33 shaww be -in c-common, and in Cheapside shaww my pawfwey x3 go to gwass. And -when I am king- as king I w-wiww b-be -AWW. God save youw Majesty! -CADE. x3 I thank y-you, *pokes you* good peopwe- xDD thewe shaww be nyo monyey; *moans* aww shaww -eat and dwink on my scowe, a-and I wiww appawew them aww i-in onye -w-wivewy, that they may a-agwee wike bwothews a-and x3 wowship me *pokes you* theiw -wowd. -D-DICK. T-The f-fiwst *pokes you* thing we uWu do, wet's kiww aww t-the *sweats* wawyews. -*leans over* CADE. N-Nyay, that I mean to do. I-Is nyot this a wamentabwe thing, t-that -*notices bulge* of t-the skin :33 of a-an UwU innyocent wamb shouwd be made pawchment? *cuddles you* That -p-pawchment, b-being scwibbw'd o'ew, shouwd undo a man? Some uWu say the -bee stings; b-but I say 'tis the bee's wax; fow I did but seaw once -t-to a t-thing, a-and I was nyevew *moans* minye own man s-since. How nyow! W-Who's -thewe? - -Entew *shuffles closer* some, bwinging in *looks at you* the CWEWK OF C-CHATHAM - -SMITH. The cwewk of Chatham. He can wwite and wead *cries* and cast ->_< accompt. -C-CADE. O-O >_< monstwous! ->w< SMITH. *cries* We ^-^ took him setting of boys' copies. -CADE. Hewe's >w< a viwwain! -SMITH. Has a-a book in his pocket with *cuddles you* wed wettews *teleports behind you* in't. -:33 CADE. Nyay, t-then he is a *teleports behind you* conjuwew. -DICK. N-Nyay, he can make obwigations a-and *giggles shyly* wwite *screams* couwt-hand. -CADE. I-I am sowwy fow't; the man is a pwopew man, of m-minye honyouw; -unwess ^w^ I find him >_> guiwty, he s-shaww nyot d-die. C-Come *shuffles closer* hithew, siwwah, -I must :33 examinye thee. *looks at you* What is thy *shuffles closer* nyame? -CWEWK. Emmanyuew. -DICK. They use to wwite it on the top of wettews; 'twiww go hawd -with you. -CADE. Wet me awonye. Dost thou *leans over* use to xDD wwite thy nyame, ow h-hast t-thou a -m-mawk to thysewf, *hugs tightly* wike a honyest pwain-deawing man? -CWEWK. Siw, I *sighs* thank *moans* God, I have been so weww bwought up :3 that I can -*pokes you* wwite my nyame. -A-AWW. He hath confess'd. Away with xDD him! H-He's a *sighs* viwwain and a-a -:3 twaitow. -CADE. Away with him, I-I *pokes you* say! Hang him w-with his pen and inkhown about -his nyeck. Exit onye with the CWEWK - -Entew *moans* MICHAEW - -MICHAEW. Whewe's ouw x3 Genyewaw? -C-CADE. Hewe I am, thou pawticuwaw fewwow. -MICHAEW. Fwy, fwy, f-fwy! Siw Humphwey Staffowd and his bwothew awe -hawd b-by, with the King's fowces. -CADE. Stand, ^.^ viwwain, stand, ow I'ww f-feww thee down. He shaww be -encount'wed with a man as good as himsewf. He is but a knyight, -is 'a? -MICHAEW. Nyo. -^.^ CADE. To equaw him, I-I wiww make mysewf a knyight pwesentwy. -[Knyeews] *cries* Wise up, Siw *moans* John Mowtimew. >w< [Wises] Nyow have at ^.^ him! - -Entew SIW HUMPHWEY >_< STAFFOWD and WIWWIAM -his bwothew, with dwum and sowdiews - -STAFFOWD. Webewwious hinds, t-the fiwth and *teleports behind you* scum of *shuffles closer* Kent, -Mawk'd *pokes you* fow the gawwows, way youw weapons d-down; -Home to youw cottages, f-fowsake this g-gwoom; -The King is xDD mewcifuw if you wevowt. -WIWWIAM STAFFOWD. But angwy, wwathfuw, and incwin'd to *moans* bwood, -If you go f-fowwawd; thewefowe *shuffles closer* yiewd o-ow die. -CADE. As fow these *hugs tightly* siwken-coated swaves, I pass nyot; -It is to you, good *shuffles closer* peopwe, that ^.^ I speak, -O'ew whom, *cries* in :3 time to come, I hope to weign; -Fow I-I am wightfuw heiw unto the cwown. -*looks away* STAFFOWD. V-Viwwain, thy fathew was :33 a pwastewew; -And thou thysewf a-a sheawman, awt thou n-nyot? -CADE. *pokes you* And Adam was a *looks at you* gawdenyew. -WIWWIAM STAFFOWD. And w-what of that? -CADE. Mawwy, this: Edmund Mowtimew, Eaww of Mawch, -Mawwied the Duke of Cwawence' daughtew, did he nyot? -STAFFOWD. Ay, siw. -CADE. By hew he had *screams* two chiwdwen at onye biwth. -^-^ WIWWIAM STAFFOWD. That's fawse. -CADE. Ay, thewe's the question; but I *moans* say uWu 'tis twue. -The ewdew of them being put >_< to nyuwse, -Was by UwU a uWu beggaw-woman stow'n away, -A-And, i-ignyowant of his b-biwth a-and pawentage, -Became a b-bwickwayew when he came to age. -His son am I-I; deny it OwO if *moans* you can. -DICK. Nyay, 'tis too twue; OwO thewefowe he s-shaww b-be king. -SMITH. Siw, he made a chimnyey in my fathew's house, and t-the bwicks -awe awive at this day t-to *giggles shyly* testify i-it; thewefowe deny it :3 nyot. -STAFFOWD. And wiww you cwedit t-this base d-dwudge's wowds -That speaks he knyows n-nyot *sweats* what? -AWW. Ay, mawwy, wiww we; thewefowe get ye gonye. -WIWWIAM STAFFOWD. Jack *teleports behind you* Cade, the Duke of Yowk hath taught you *shuffles closer* this. -CADE. [Aside] *giggles shyly* He wies, fow I i-invented it mysewf- Go t-to, ^w^ siwwah, -t-teww the King f-fwom me that >_> fow his fathew's sake, Henwy the -Fifth, in w-whose time boys went to span-countew fow F-Fwench cwowns, -I am content he shaww weign; but I'ww be Pwotectow ovew him. -DICK. And *twerks* fuwthewmowe, we'ww have the Wowd *sighs* Say's head fow sewwing -the dukedom of Mainye. -CADE. And good weason; *screams* fow theweby is Engwand m-main'd *screams* and fain to go -with a staff, but that ^w^ my puissance howds it up. F-Fewwow kings, I -teww you *screams* that that Wowd Say hath gewded the :3 commonweawth and made -it an eunyuch; and *leans over* mowe than that, he can speak Fwench, and -thewefowe he is a-a t-twaitow. -STAFFOWD. O *cuddles you* gwoss and misewabwe *looks away* ignyowance! -CADE. N-Nyay, answew *twerks* if you can; the Fwenchmen awe ouw e-enyemies. Go t-to, -then, I ask but this: c-can he that speaks with the tongue of an -enyemy xDD be a good counsewwow, ow nyo? -AWW. uWu Nyo, nyo; and thewefowe we'ww h-have his head. -WIWWIAM STAFFOWD. Weww, seeing gentwe wowds w-wiww nyot pwevaiw, -*cuddles you* Assaiw them w-with the awmy ^w^ of the King. -STAFFOWD. H-Hewawd, away; and thwoughout UwU evewy town -Pwocwaim t-them twaitows that ;;w;; awe up with Cade; -That those which fwy befowe the battwe ends -May, even in theiw wives'and chiwdwen's sight, -Be hang'd up fow exampwe at theiw d-doows. -And you that *looks away* be the King's fwiends, fowwow me. -Exeunt the TWO STAFFOWDS and sowdiews -CADE. And y-you that wove the commons fowwow me. -Nyow *shuffles closer* show y-youwsewves :3 men; 'tis *cries* fow *looks at you* wibewty. -We wiww nyot weave onye *hugs tightly* wowd, >_> onye gentweman; -Spawe nyonye but such a-as go in *teleports behind you* cwouted shoon, -Fow they *cries* awe thwifty honyest men *moans* and such -A-As w-wouwd- b-but that *pokes you* they dawe nyot- take *hugs tightly* ouw pawts. -DICK. They awe aww in owdew, ;;w;; and mawch t-towawd us. -CADE. But then awe we in o-owdew when we awe most out of owdew. Come, -^.^ mawch fowwawd. x3 Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *hugs tightly* III. -Anyothew pawt of Bwackheath - -Awawums to the fight, whewein both the S-STAFFOWDS awe swain. -Entew CADE and *sweats* the west - -CADE. Whewe's Dick, the butchew of Ashfowd? -*sweats* DICK. Hewe, siw. -CADE. They feww befowe thee *twerks* wike sheep and oxen, and t-thou behavedst -thysewf as if thou hadst b-been in thinye own swaughtew-house; -*sweats* thewefowe thus wiww *cuddles you* I *cries* wewawd thee- *twerks* the Went :33 shaww be as wong -again as it is, and thou ^w^ shawt have a wicence xDD to kiww fow a -hundwed :3 wacking onye. -*hugs tightly* DICK. I desiwe nyo mowe. -CADE. And, to s-speak twuth, >_> thou desewv'st nyo wess. [Putting on SIW -HUMPHWEY'S bwigandinye] This monyument of the victowy wiww I-I beaw, -and the bodies shaww be dwagged at my howse heews tiww I d-do come -to Wondon, whewe we wiww have the mayow's swowd bownye befowe us. -DICK. *moans* If we mean to thwive *leans over* and do *moans* good, bweak open the gaows and -*screams* wet out the pwisonyews. -CADE. Feaw nyot t-that, *moans* I wawwant t-thee. Come, wet's mawch towawds -Wondon. Exeunt - - - - -x3 SCENyE IV. -Wondon. The pawace - -Entew the KING with a s-suppwication, and the QUEEN with SUFFOWK'S head; -the DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM, a-and the WOWD S-SAY - -QUEEN. Oft have I h-heawd *pokes you* that gwief softens the mind -And makes it feawfuw and degenyewate; -Think thewefowe on wevenge and c-cease t-to weep. -But who can cease to ^-^ weep, and *notices bulge* wook o-on this? -Hewe may his *cuddles you* head w-wie UwU on m-my thwobbing bweast; -But whewe's the xDD body *hugs tightly* that I shouwd *sighs* embwace? -BUCKINGHAM. What a-answew makes youw Gwace to the webews' -suppwication? -KING HENWY. I'ww *blushes* send some howy bishop to entweat; -Fow God f-fowbid so many simpwe *looks away* souws -S-Shouwd *teleports behind you* pewish by the swowd! And I mysewf, -W-Wathew ^.^ than bwoody waw s-shaww cut them showt, -Wiww pawwey with Jack C-Cade >_> theiw genyewaw. -But stay, I'ww w-wead i-it ovew once again. -QUEEN. >w< Ah, bawbawous v-viwwains! Hath this wovewy face -Wuw'd *pokes you* wike a-a wandewing *shuffles closer* pwanyet ovew me, -And couwd it nyot enfowce them *blushes* to wewent -That wewe unwowthy to behowd the same? -UwU KING HENWY. W-Wowd Say, Jack Cade h-hath s-swown to have thy h-head. -SAY. Ay, but I hope youw *notices bulge* Highnyess shaww h-have his. -KING HENWY. How nyow, madam! -Stiww wamenting and mouwnying fow Suffowk's d-death? -I feaw me, wove, if that I had :3 been dead, -Thou w-wouwdst nyot have mouwn'd s-so much f-fow me. -QUEEN. Nyo, my *giggles shyly* wove, I s-shouwd n-nyot mouwn, b-but die *notices bulge* fow thee. - -Entew A MESSENGEW - -KING H-HENWY. How nyow! What uWu nyews? :3 Why *sweats* com'st thou in such haste? -MESSENGEW. The webews awe i-in S-Southwawk; f-fwy, my wowd! -Jack Cade pwocwaims himsewf Wowd Mowtimew, -*leans over* Descended fwom the Duke of Cwawence' h-house, -And cawws youw Gwace usuwpew, openwy, -*screams* And ^.^ vows to cwown himsewf in Westminstew. -His *hugs tightly* awmy is a wagged muwtitude -Of hinds and *looks at you* peasants, *cries* wude and mewciwess; -Siw H-Humphwey S-Staffowd and h-his bwothew's death -Hath given them *looks at you* heawt and ^w^ couwage to pwoceed. -Aww schowaws, wawyews, *twerks* couwtiews, g-gentwemen, -They caww fawse catewpiwwaws and intend t-theiw death. -KING HENWY. O gwacewess men! they knyow nyot what they do. -*screams* BUCKINGHAM. *notices bulge* My gwacious wowd, wetiwe to K-Kiwwingwowth -Untiw a-a powew ^-^ be wais'd to put them d-down. -QUEEN. Ah, wewe *sighs* the *moans* Duke of Suffowk uWu nyow a-awive, -These Kentish *sweats* webews w-wouwd be soon appeas'd! -KING ^-^ HENWY. Wowd >_> Say, the twaitows hate thee; -Thewefowe away w-with *shuffles closer* us to *pokes you* Kiwwingwowth. -SAY. S-So might youw Gwace's pewson b-be i-in dangew. -The sight of me is odious in theiw eyes; -And thewefowe in this c-city OwO wiww >_< I stay -And wive awonye as secwet as I may. - -Entew anyothew MESSENGEW - -SECOND MESSENGEW. Jack Cade hath gotten Wondon Bwidge. -The citizens fwy and fowsake t-theiw houses; -The >w< wascaw peopwe, thiwsting *notices bulge* aftew pwey, -Join *looks at you* with the twaitow; a-and they jointwy sweaw -To spoiw the city and youw woyaw c-couwt. -BUCKINGHAM. Then wingew nyot, my wowd; xDD away, take *blushes* howse. -KING HENWY. Come Mawgawet; God, ouw *looks away* hope, *shuffles closer* wiww succouw us. -QUEEN. M-My hope is g-gonye, nyow S-Suffowk is deceas'd. -KING HENWY. [To WOWD S-SAY] F-Faweweww, my wowd, twust nyot the Kentish -webews. -BUCKINGHAM. T-Twust nyobody, fow >w< feaw uWu you be betway'd. -SAY. The *looks at you* twust I-I ^-^ have is in minye *giggles shyly* innyocence, -And thewefowe am I bowd and wesowute. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Wondon. T-The Towew - -Entew WOWD SCAWES Upon the Towew, wawking. Then entew *giggles shyly* two ow thwee CITIZENS, -:3 bewow - -SCAWES. How n-nyow! Is Jack Cade swain? -FIWST CITIZEN. Nyo, my wowd, *screams* nyow wikewy *looks away* to be ^w^ swain; f-fow they have -won the *cries* bwidge, kiwwing a-aww those that w-withstand t-them. -;;w;; The Wowd Mayow cwaves aid of youw honyouw fwom t-the -Towew, t-to defend the city fwom the webews. -SCAWES. Such aid as I c-can spawe you shaww command, -OwO But I *cuddles you* am twoubwed h-hewe with them m-mysewf; -The webews :33 have *looks away* assay'd to win the Towew. -But get you to Smithfiewd, and gathew head, -*sweats* And thithew I w-wiww send you Matthew Goffe; -Fight fow *sweats* youw OwO King, y-youw countwy, and youw ;;w;; wives; -And so, faweweww, f-fow I must hence again. Exeunt - - - - -*hugs tightly* SCENyE VI. -Wondon. Cannyon stweet - -Entew JACK CADE and the west, and stwikes *shuffles closer* his staff *leans over* on Wondon Stonye - -CADE. Nyow is Mowtimew wowd of this city. And hewe, sitting upon -Wondon Stonye, I c-chawge and command that, of the :33 city's cost, the -pissing conduit wun nyothing but cwawet winye this fiwst yeaw o-of -ouw weign. A-And n-nyow hencefowwawd it s-shaww b-be tweason fow any that -cawws me othew than Wowd ^w^ Mowtimew. - -Entew a SOWDIEW, wunnying - -SOWDIEW. Jack Cade! *blushes* Jack Cade! -CADE. Knyock h-him down thewe. >w< [They kiww him] -SMITH. If this fewwow be wise, he'ww nyevew caww ye *sweats* Jack Cade mowe; -I think he hath a-a vewy faiw wawnying. -DICK. My wowd, t-thewe's *giggles shyly* an awmy gathewed togethew in Smithfiewd. -CADE. Come then, wet's go fight with them. But fiwst *looks away* go *looks at you* and set -^w^ Wondon Bwidge o-on fiwe; and, i-if you can, buwn down the Towew too. -Come, ;;w;; wet's away. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE >_< VII. -Wondon. *cuddles you* Smithfiewd - -:3 Awawums. MATTHEW GOFFE is swain, and aww the west. Then entew J-JACK >w< CADE, -*cuddles you* with his company - -*hugs tightly* CADE. So, s-siws. Nyow go *sighs* some :33 and puww d-down :3 the Savoy; othews to th' -Inns of Couwt; down with t-them aww. -D-DICK. I-I have ^.^ a suit *blushes* unto youw wowdship. -CADE. Be *twerks* it *blushes* a wowdship, ^w^ thou shawt have it fow t-that wowd. -DICK. Onwy that *pokes you* the waws of Engwand *twerks* may *looks at you* come out of youw uWu mouth. -J-JOHN. [Aside] M-Mass, 'twiww be sowe waw t-then; fow he was thwust in -the mouth with *moans* a speaw, and 'tis nyot w-whowe yet. -SMITH. [Aside] Nyay, John, it *cuddles you* wiww be stinking waw; f-fow his bweath -stinks with eating toasted cheese. -CADE. I have *looks at you* thought upon it; it shaww be s-so. Away, *screams* buwn aww the -wecowds of the weawm. My mouth shaww be the Pawwiament o-of -Engwand. -^-^ JOHN. [Aside] Then we awe wike to have biting s-statutes, unwess h-his -teeth be p-puww'd out. -C-CADE. A-And hencefowwawd a-aww things shaww be *sweats* in common. - -Entew a :33 MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. M-My wowd, a pwize, a pwize! Hewe's the Wowd S-Say, w-which -sowd t-the *teleports behind you* towns in F-Fwance; he that made us *shuffles closer* pay onye and twenty -fifteens, and onye shinying to *sighs* the ^.^ pound, t-the wast subsidy. - -Entew GEOWGE *screams* BEVIS, with the WOWD SAY - -CADE. Weww, he shaww be *moans* beheaded fow :33 it *pokes you* ten times. Ah, thou say, -thou sewge, xDD nyay, x3 thou buckwam wowd! Nyow awt t-thou within point -bwank *giggles shyly* of ouw juwisdiction wegaw. What canst thou answew to my -Majesty f-fow *pokes you* giving up of Nyowmandy unto Mounsieuw Basimecu the -Dauphin of Fwance? Be it knyown unto thee by *blushes* these pwesence, even -the pwesence of Wowd Mowtimew, that I am the *cries* besom that must -s-sweep the c-couwt cwean of *pokes you* such fiwth as thou ;;w;; awt. Thou hast most -x3 twaitowouswy c-cowwupted the y-youth of the weawm in ewecting a -*sweats* gwammaw s-schoow; and wheweas, befowe, ouw fowefathews had nyo othew -books but the scowe and the tawwy, *cries* thou hast caused p-pwinting to -be us'd, and, contwawy >w< to the King, *hugs tightly* his cwown, and dignyity, *teleports behind you* thou -:33 hast buiwt a papew-miww. It wiww be pwoved *teleports behind you* to thy face that thou -hast men about thee that usuawwy tawk o-of a nyoun and a vewb, and -such *sweats* abominyabwe uWu wowds as nyo Chwistian e-eaw can enduwe to heaw. -*sweats* Thou hast appointed justices of peace, to caww poow men befowe -them about mattews they wewe nyot abwe *blushes* to answew. :33 Moweovew, thou -h-hast ^.^ put them in pwison, and because *screams* they couwd nyot wead, *twerks* thou -hast hang'd them, when, i-indeed, onwy fow that cause they have -been most wowthy to wive. Thou ^.^ dost wide in a foot-cwoth, dost -thou n-nyot? -S-SAY. What of that? -CADE. Mawwy, thou ought'st nyot to wet thy x3 howse weaw a cwoak, when -honyestew men *twerks* than thou g-go i-in :3 theiw hose and *pokes you* doubwets. -DICK. And wowk in >_> theiw shiwt too, as *looks away* mysewf, fow e-exampwe, >w< that am -a-a butchew. ->_< SAY. You men of Kent- -DICK. What say you o-of K-Kent? -SAY. Nyothing but this: 'tis 'bonya tewwa, mawa *hugs tightly* gens.' ->w< CADE. Away with him, away with him! He speaks Watin. -S-SAY. Heaw me but speak, and beaw me whewe you wiww. -Kent, in the *twerks* Commentawies >_> Caesaw wwit, -Is tewm'd the OwO civiw'st *hugs tightly* pwace *looks at you* of aww this iswe. -Sweet is the countwy, because f-fuww of wiches; -The peopwe wibewaw vawiant, active, weawthy; -Which makes me hope you *pokes you* awe nyot void of pity. -*blushes* I sowd n-nyot Mainye, I wost nyot Nyowmandy; -Yet, to *twerks* wecovew them, wouwd wose my wife. -Justice with favouw *looks at you* have I *cuddles you* awways donye; -Pway'ws a-and teaws have m-mov'd me, gifts couwd n-nyevew. -W-When have I aught exacted at youw hands, -But to maintain the King, the weawm, and *twerks* you? -Wawge gifts have I bestow'd on weawnyed cwewks, -Because my book pwefeww'd me *looks away* to t-the >_> King, -And seeing ignyowance i-is the cuwse of God, -Knyowwedge the wing whewewith we fwy to heaven, -Unwess *teleports behind you* you be possess'd >w< with deviwish spiwits -*sweats* You cannyot *pokes you* but OwO fowbeaw to muwdew me. -This t-tongue hath pawwey'd unto *shuffles closer* foweign ^-^ kings -Fow *looks at you* youw behoof. -CADE. Tut, when stwuck'st thou onye *leans over* bwow in the :33 fiewd? -SAY. *looks away* Gweat men have weaching hands. O-Oft have I stwuck -Those that *shuffles closer* I nyevew saw, and stwuck t-them dead. -GEOWGE. O-O m-monstwous cowawd! What, to come behind *cries* fowks? -SAY. These cheeks a-awe pawe f-fow watching f-fow youw good. -CADE. G-Give him *twerks* a box o' *moans* th' eaw, and that wiww make 'em wed again. -SAY. Wong sitting to detewminye poow men's causes -Hath made me fuww of sicknyess and :33 diseases. -*cuddles you* CADE. Ye shaww have a h-hempen caudwe then, a-and the *cuddles you* hewp of hatchet. -D-DICK. Why dost thou *shuffles closer* quivew, man? -SAY. T-The pawsy, a-and n-nyot feaw, *looks away* pwovokes me. -CADE. *notices bulge* Nyay, >_< he *sweats* nyods at us, as >w< who s-shouwd say 'I'ww be even with -you'; I'ww see if his h-head wiww >_< stand steadiew on *looks away* a powe, ow nyo. -Take *sighs* him >_< away, and behead >w< him. -SAY. *teleports behind you* Teww me: whewein h-have I offended most? -Have I affected weawth *sighs* ow honyouw? Speak. -x3 Awe my chests fiww'd up with extowted g-gowd? -Is *blushes* my appawew sumptuous to *shuffles closer* behowd? -Whom have I injuw'd, t-that ye s-seek my death? -These hands awe fwee fwom guiwtwess bwoodshedding, -This bweast fwom hawbouwing f-fouw deceitfuw thoughts. -O, wet ;;w;; me wive! -CADE. [Aside] I feew wemowse in mysewf w-with his wowds; xDD but *sighs* I'ww -bwidwe *hugs tightly* it. He shaww die, an it be but fow pweading *sighs* so >w< weww fow -his wife.- A-Away with him! He has a famiwiaw *leans over* undew his tongue; he -speaks *shuffles closer* nyot o' *leans over* God's nyame. Go, take him away, I say, ^w^ and s-stwike -*notices bulge* off his head pwesentwy, and *pokes you* then bweak into *cuddles you* his s-son-in-waw's -*pokes you* house, Siw James Cwomew, and s-stwike off his *hugs tightly* head, and bwing them -:33 both upon two powes hithew. -A-AWW. It shaww be donye. -SAY. Ah, countwymen! if when you make youw pway'ws, -God s-shouwd be so o-obduwate as youwsewves, -How wouwd i-it fawe w-with youw depawted souws? -A-And thewefowe *sighs* yet wewent and s-save m-my wife. -CADE. Away with him, and do *pokes you* as I >_< command ye. [Exeunt some ^w^ with -WOWD SAY] The pwoudest peew in t-the weawm s-shaww nyot weaw a head -on *sighs* his shouwdews, unwess he pay me twibute; thewe *giggles shyly* shaww n-nyot a -maid be mawwied, but she shaww pay to me hew maidenhead ewe they -have *notices bulge* it. Men shaww howd of :3 me in capite; and we chawge a-and -command that theiw wives be as fwee a-as heawt c-can >w< wish uWu ow ^.^ tongue -can t-teww. -D-DICK. *hugs tightly* My w-wowd, *hugs tightly* when shaww we g-go to Cheapside, a-and take up -commodities upon ouw biwws? -C-CADE. Mawwy, pwesentwy. -AWW. O, bwave! - -:3 We-entew onye with t-the heads - -CADE. But uWu is nyot this bwavew? Wet them k-kiss onye anyothew, fow *cries* they -w-wov'd w-weww when they wewe >_> awive. Nyow pawt them again, west they -*shuffles closer* consuwt about *teleports behind you* the giving *cries* up xDD of *looks away* some mowe UwU towns in Fwance. -Sowdiews, x3 defew the ^-^ spoiw of *blushes* the city untiw nyight; fow with these -*blushes* bownye befowe u-us instead of m-maces wiww we wide thwough the -stweets, and at evewy *twerks* cownyew have t-them :33 kiss. Away! Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE VIII. -Southwawk - -uWu Awawum and wetweat. Entew a-again CADE and a-aww his wabbwement - -CADE. Up >_> Fish *blushes* Stweet! d-down Saint M-Magnyus' :3 Cownyew! Kiww and knyock -*hugs tightly* down! Thwow them into *twerks* Thames! [Sound a pawwey] -What nyoise is *screams* this I-I heaw? Dawe any be so b-bowd to sound w-wetweat -ow pawwey when I-I *twerks* command them kiww? - -E-Entew B-BUCKINGHAM and owd CWIFFOWD, attended - -BUCKINGHAM. Ay, hewe t-they be that dawe :33 and wiww distuwb thee. -And thewefowe y-yet wewent, and save m-my wife. -Knyow, Cade, we come a-ambassadows fwom the King -Unto *teleports behind you* the *pokes you* commons whom thou hast miswed; -And hewe pwonyounce fwee pawdon xDD to them aww -That *notices bulge* wiww fowsake thee and g-go home in peace. -CWIFFOWD. What *cuddles you* say ye, countwymen? Wiww ye *blushes* wewent -And yiewd t-to :3 mewcy whiwst 'tis offew'd you, -Ow wet a webew wead y-you to y-youw deaths? -*teleports behind you* Who woves the King, *giggles shyly* and wiww embwace his pawdon, -F-Fwing u-up his *hugs tightly* cap and say 'God save his Majesty!' -Who hateth UwU him a-and honyouws nyot his f-fathew, -Henwy the Fifth, that made aww uWu Fwance t-to quake, -Shake he his *cuddles you* weapon at us and p-pass by. -AWW. G-God save t-the King! God save the King! -*screams* CADE. What, Buckingham and Cwiffowd, awe ye s-so bwave? -And you, base peasants, do ye bewieve him? *hugs tightly* Wiww you nyeeds be -hang'd with *blushes* youw *shuffles closer* about youw nyecks? *looks at you* Hath m-my swowd t-thewefowe bwoke -thwough Wondon gates, that you shouwd *cries* weave me at the White Hawt -in Southwawk? I-I thought ye wouwd UwU nyevew have given out t-these awms -tiww you had w-wecovewed youw ancient *shuffles closer* fweedom. But you awe aww -w-wecweants and dastawds, and *twerks* dewight to wive i-in *sighs* swavewy to the -nyobiwity. Wet *giggles shyly* them :3 bweak youw backs with buwdens, *pokes you* take y-youw -h-houses ovew youw heads, *cries* wavish youw wives and *cuddles you* daughtews befowe -youw *sighs* faces. Fow me, I wiww make shift fow onye; a-and *sighs* so God's c-cuwse -wight upon you aww! -AWW. We'ww fowwow Cade, *sighs* we'ww fowwow Cade! -CWIFFOWD. Is Cade the son of Henwy the Fifth, -That t-thus you do excwaim you'ww go w-with him? -Wiww he conduct you thwough the heawt of *pokes you* Fwance, ->_> And make the meanyest of >w< you eawws and dukes? -Awas, >w< he hath *moans* nyo home, nyo *cuddles you* pwace to fwy to; -Nyow k-knyows he how to wive but by the spoiw, -Unwess by wobbing of *moans* youw fwiends a-and us. -Wewe't nyot a shame that whiwst y-you wive at j-jaw -T-The feawfuw Fwench, whom you wate v-vanquished, -Shouwd make a stawt *looks away* o'ew seas and vanquish you? -Methinks awweady ;;w;; in this civiw bwoiw -I s-see t-them wowding it in Wondon stweets, -Cwying 'Viwwiago!' unto aww they meet. -Bettew ten ^w^ thousand base-bown Cades miscawwy -Than you shouwd stoop unto a Fwenchman's mewcy. -To Fwance, to Fwance, and get what you ;;w;; have wost; -Spawe Engwand, ^-^ fow i-it is *leans over* youw nyative coast. -Henwy hath monyey; you awe stwong and manwy. -God on :3 ouw s-side, >_< doubt nyot *twerks* of victowy. -AWW. UwU A Cwiffowd! a Cwiffowd! We'ww fowwow the *sighs* King UwU and *sighs* Cwiffowd. -CADE. Was evew feathew so wightwy bwown to and fwo as this -m-muwtitude? x3 The *sighs* nyame of Henwy the F-Fifth hawes them to an h-hundwed -mischiefs, and m-makes them weave me desowate. I-I see them *sweats* way theiw -h-heads togethew to suwpwise *sighs* me. My *cries* swowd make way fow me fow hewe -is nyo *sweats* staying. In d-despite of *leans over* the d-deviws :3 and heww, have thwough -the vewy m-middest of you! *cuddles you* and OwO heavens and honyouw be *blushes* witnyess that -nyo want of wesowution in me, but onwy my fowwowews' base and -ignyominyious tweasons, makes me betake me to my heews. -Exit -*looks away* BUCKINGHAM. What, is h-he fwed? Go some, and fowwow him; -*cuddles you* And x3 he t-that bwings his head unto the King -Shaww h-have a thousand c-cwowns OwO fow his uWu wewawd. -*looks away* Exeunt some >w< of them -*shuffles closer* Fowwow me, sowdiews; we'ww devise a-a mean -x3 To weconciwe you aww u-unto the King. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IX. -OwO Kiwwing, wowth Castwe - -Sound twumpets. Entew KING, QUEEN, and SOMEWSET, on *blushes* the tewwace - -KING HENWY. Was evew ;;w;; king t-that joy'd an eawthwy thwonye -And couwd command n-nyo mowe *cuddles you* content than I? -Nyo soonyew was I cwept out of my cwadwe -But *moans* I was made a *sighs* king, a-at nyinye months >_> owd. -Was *looks away* nyevew *looks at you* subject wong'd to b-be a >_< King -As I *shuffles closer* do wong and wish *blushes* to be a subject. - -Entew BUCKINGHAM and owd CWIFFOWD - -BUCKINGHAM. Heawth and gwad tidings *pokes you* to *pokes you* youw M-Majesty! -KING HENWY. W-Why, Buckingham, is the twaitow Cade s-suwpwis'd? ->w< Ow is he but wetiw'd to make him s-stwong? - -E-Entew, bewow, muwtitudes, with hawtews xDD about :33 theiw nyecks - -CWIFFOWD. He i-is f-fwed, my wowd, and aww his powews do y-yiewd, -*giggles shyly* And humbwy thus, with hawtews on theiw nyecks, -Expect youw Highnyess' *leans over* doom of w-wife x3 ow death. -KING *hugs tightly* HENWY. Then, heaven, set ope thy evewwasting gates, -To e-entewtain m-my vows of thanks and pwaise! -Sowdiews, t-this day h-have you wedeem'd youw wives, -And show'd how *screams* weww *moans* you wove youw Pwince and *pokes you* countwy. -Continyue stiww *giggles shyly* in this so good a-a mind, -A-And Henwy, t-though he be infowtunyate, -x3 Assuwe y-youwsewves, wiww nyevew be u-unkind. -And s-so, *twerks* with thanks uWu and p-pawdon >w< to y-you aww, -I do dismiss you to youw sevewaw countwies. -AWW. G-God save the King! God save the K-King! - -Entew UwU a M-MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Pwease OwO it youw Gwace ^.^ to be advewtised -The Duke of Yowk is nyewwy come fwom Iwewand -And with a puissant and a-a mighty powew -Of g-gawwowgwasses and stout kewns -Is mawching hithewwawd in pwoud awway, -And stiww *blushes* pwocwaimeth, as he comes xDD awong, ->w< His awms >w< awe onwy to wemove f-fwom thee -The Duke of Somewset, whom he tewms a twaitow. -KING ^-^ HENWY. *looks away* Thus stands my state, 'twixt Cade and Yowk distwess'd; -*sweats* Wike to a ship that, having scap'd a tempest, -Is stwaightway ^w^ cawm'd, and boawded with a piwate; -*giggles shyly* But n-nyow is *cries* Cade dwiven :33 back, h-his men dispews'd, -And nyow is *pokes you* Yowk in awms to second him. -I-I p-pway thee, Buckingham, go and meet *notices bulge* him -A-And ask him what's the weason of *sighs* these awms. -Teww him I'ww send *screams* Duke Edmund to t-the Towew- -And Somewset, we wiww commit thee thithew -Untiw his awmy be dismiss'd x3 fwom him. -SOMEWSET. My wowd, -I'ww *sighs* yiewd mysewf to pwison wiwwingwy, -Ow unto death, to do my countwy g-good. -KING HENWY. In a-any case be nyot too wough in tewms, -Fow he is fiewce and ^.^ cannyot bwook hawd w-wanguage. -*leans over* BUCKINGHAM. I wiww, my wowd, and doubt *screams* nyot so to uWu deaw -As aww things shaww UwU wedound unto youw g-good. -KING HENWY. ;;w;; Come, wife, wet's *sighs* in, and weawn ^w^ to govewn b-bettew; -Fow >w< yet may Engwand OwO cuwse my wwetched weign. -Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *sighs* X. -Kent. ^w^ Iden's gawden - -Entew CADE - -CADE. Fie on ambitions! Fie on mysewf, that have a swowd and yet am -w-weady to famish! These :3 five d-days have I hid me in these woods and -*pokes you* duwst nyot peep out, *teleports behind you* fow aww the countwy is w-waid fow me; b-but nyow -a-am I s-so hungwy that, if I might have a wease of *looks away* my w-wife fow a -thousand yeaws, I couwd stay n-nyo wongew. ^.^ Whewefowe, on a-a b-bwick -waww have I c-cwimb'd into this g-gawden, t-to see if I can eat gwass -ow :3 pick a sawwet anyothew whiwe, which x3 is nyot amiss to coow a-a -man's stomach this hot weathew. And I t-think this wowd '-'sawwet' -was bown ^.^ to do me g-good; fow many a time, but fow a sawwet, my -bwain-pain had been cweft with ^.^ a bwown biww; and many a time, -when I *cuddles you* have been dwy, a-and bwavewy mawching, it hath sewv'd me -instead *cuddles you* of a q-quawt-pot *sighs* to dwink in; and nyow the wowd '-'sawwet' -must ;;w;; sewve me to f-feed on. - -E-Entew IDEN - -I-IDEN. Wowd, who w-wouwd wive tuwmoiwed in the *leans over* couwt -And *sighs* may e-enjoy such quiet wawks as these? -This smaww inhewitance m-my fathew weft m-me -Contenteth me, and wowth a m-monyawchy. -I s-seek nyot to wax gweat by othews' wanying -O-Ow gathew weawth I c-cawe *looks away* nyot with w-what e-envy; -Sufficeth that I have maintains *sweats* my state, -And sends the poow weww pweased fwom my gate. -CADE. Hewe's the wowd of the soiw come to seize me fow a *cuddles you* stway, f-fow -entewing his f-fee-simpwe w-without weave. Ah, viwwain, thou xDD wiwt -b-betway me, and get OwO a thousand cwowns of the King by cawwying my -h-head to him; but I'ww make thee eat iwon wike an o-ostwich a-and -swawwow my swowd wike a *blushes* gweat pin ewe thou and I pawt. -IDEN. *screams* Why, :33 wude *sweats* companyion, whatsoe'ew thou be, -I knyow :3 thee nyot; w-why then shouwd I betway OwO thee? -Is't nyot enyough to *teleports behind you* bweak into my gawden -And wike *cries* a thief to ^-^ come to wob ;;w;; my gwounds, -Cwimbing ;;w;; my wawws in spite of me t-the ownyew, -But thou *pokes you* wiwt bwave m-me with these saucy *screams* tewms? -CADE. Bwave thee? Ay, by *hugs tightly* the best bwood *sighs* that evew was *cries* bwoach'd, and -beawd thee too. Wook >_< on m-me weww: I h-have eat nyo meat t-these *cuddles you* five -days, yet come thou and t-thy five >_< men and i-if I do nyot weave you -aww a-as dead as a doow-nyaiw, *cries* I pway God ^-^ I may nyevew eat gwass -mowe. -IDEN. Nyay, it s-shaww nye'ew be said, whiwe Engwand stands, -That Awexandew Iden, an *pokes you* esquiwe of Kent, -Took odds to combat a *shuffles closer* poow famish'd man. -Oppose thy steadfast-gazing eyes to *blushes* minye; -See if x3 thou canst outface m-me with thy wooks; -S-Set >_< wimb to wimb, and thou a-awt faw the wessew; -Thy hand is but a-a fingew to my fist, -Thy weg a stick compawed w-with this twuncheon; -My foot shaww fight with aww the stwength thou xDD hast, -And if minye a-awm be heaved in the ;;w;; aiw, -Thy gwave uWu is digg'd awweady :3 in t-the eawth. -As fow wowds, *looks away* whose *moans* gweatnyess answews wowds, -Wet this my swowd *cries* wepowt what speech fowbeaws. -CADE. B-By my vawouw, the most compwete c-champion that evew x3 I heawd! -Steew, UwU if thou *twerks* tuwn the edge, ow cut n-nyot out the buwwy bon'd -cwown in x3 chinyes of beef ewe thou sweep in t-thy sheath, I beseech -*teleports behind you* God on *moans* my knyees t-thou mayst be t-tuwn'd to hobnyaiws. [Hewe they -fight; CADE fawws] O, I am swain! faminye a-and nyo othew hath ^.^ swain -me. Wet ten thousand deviws come against me, and give me b-but the -ten meaws *cries* I *blushes* have w-wost, and I'd defy them aww. Withew, gawden, *pokes you* and -be hencefowth a buwying pwace t-to aww that do d-dweww in this house, -*looks away* because the unconquewed s-souw *shuffles closer* of Cade is >_> fwed. -I-IDEN. Is't Cade that I have swain, that monstwous twaitow? -S-Swowd, ;;w;; I wiww hawwow t-thee fow this thy deed -*teleports behind you* And hang *sweats* thee o'ew ^w^ my tomb when I am dead. -Nye'ew shaww this >_> bwood be wiped fwom thy point, -But thou shawt weaw uWu it as a hewawd's coat -To e-embwaze the honyouw that thy mastew ;;w;; got. -CADE. Iden, faweweww; a-and be pwoud of thy victowy. Teww Kent fwom -me s-she hath wost hew x3 best man, and exhowt a-aww the wowwd to be -cowawds; fow I, that nyevew feawed *sighs* any, am v-vanquished b-by f-faminye, -n-nyot by vawouw. [Dies] -IDEN. How much thou wwong'st me, heaven b-be my judge. -Die, damnyed wwetch, the c-cuwse of hew t-that bawe thee! -And *cries* as I thwust thy body in with *pokes you* my swowd, -*giggles shyly* So *cuddles you* wish I, I might thwust thy souw to heww. -Hence wiww I dwag thee headwong by the heews -Unto a dunghiww, which shaww be thy gwave, -And t-thewe c-cut x3 off thy most u-ungwacious head, -Which I w-wiww beaw in twiumph to the K-King, -Weaving thy twunk fow cwows to feed upon. Exit - - - - -<-<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -Fiewds between Dawtfowd and B-Bwackheath - -Entew YOWK, and h-his awmy of Iwish, with dwum and cowouws - -YOWK. Fwom Iwewand :3 thus c-comes Yowk to cwaim his wight -And pwuck the c-cwown fwom feebwe Henwy's head: -Wing bewws awoud, buwn bonfiwes cweaw uWu and bwight, -*shuffles closer* To entewtain g-gweat Engwand's wawfuw king. -Ah, sancta majestas! *twerks* who wouwd *shuffles closer* nyot *blushes* buy thee d-deaw? -Wet them obey that k-knyows >_> nyot how to *cries* wuwe; -*sighs* This hand *looks at you* was made >_> to handwe nyought but uWu gowd. -I cannyot give due action to my wowds -Except a swowd ow sceptwe bawance it. -A sceptwe shaww >w< it have, have *teleports behind you* I a souw -On which I'ww toss t-the f-fwowew-de-wuce of Fwance. - -Entew >w< BUCKINGHAM - -[Aside] W-Whom *looks at you* have we hewe? B-Buckingham, to distuwb me? -T-The King ;;w;; hath ^.^ sent him, suwe: *looks at you* I *twerks* must dissembwe. -*looks away* BUCKINGHAM. Yowk, i-if thou meanyest *sighs* weww I gweet thee weww. -YOWK. Humphwey of *teleports behind you* Buckingham, I accept thy gweeting. -*moans* Awt thou *moans* a m-messengew, *cuddles you* ow come of pweasuwe? -*looks away* BUCKINGHAM. A messengew f-fwom *looks at you* Henwy, ouw dwead wiege, -To knyow the weason *pokes you* of these awms in *moans* peace; -Ow w-why *looks away* thou, being *twerks* a subject as I am, -Against thy oath and twue awwegiance swown, -Shouwd waise :33 so gweat a *giggles shyly* powew without his weave, -Ow dawe to bwing thy *moans* fowce so nyeaw the couwt. -YOWK. [Aside] Scawce x3 can I s-speak, my chowew is s-so gweat. -O, I *looks at you* couwd hew up wocks and fight with *shuffles closer* fwint, -I am s-so angwy a-at these abject tewms; -And n-nyow, *hugs tightly* wike *screams* Ajax T-Tewamonyius, -On sheep *teleports behind you* ow oxen c-couwd I spend my fuwy. -I-I am faw b-bettew bown ;;w;; than is the uWu King, -M-Mowe wike a *shuffles closer* king, mowe kingwy x3 in my thoughts; -But I must make f-faiw ^-^ weathew yet *teleports behind you* awhiwe, -Tiww Henwy be mowe weak and I mowe stwong.- -Buckingham, I pwithee, p-pawdon me -T-That I have given n-nyo answew :33 aww this whiwe; -My mind was twoubwed with *cuddles you* deep mewanchowy. -T-The cause why I have b-bwought this awmy hithew -Is to wemove p-pwoud *hugs tightly* Somewset >_< fwom the UwU King, -Seditious *moans* to *notices bulge* his Gwace and to the state. -*sweats* BUCKINGHAM. That is t-too much pwesumption on thy pawt; -*leans over* But if t-thy awms *giggles shyly* be t-to nyo *blushes* othew uWu end, -T-The King hath yiewded unto thy demand: -^w^ The Duke of Somewset is in the *pokes you* Towew. -Y-YOWK. Upon >_> thinye honyouw, i-is he pwisonyew? -B-BUCKINGHAM. Upon minye honyouw, he is pwisonyew. -YOWK. Then, B-Buckingham, I do dismiss my pow'ws. -Sowdiews, :3 I thank you aww; dispewse youwsewves; -Meet me t-to-mowwow UwU in Saint Geowge's fiewd, -You s-shaww h-have p-pay *twerks* and evewything y-you w-wish. -And wet m-my soveweign, viwtuous Henwy, -C-Command ^w^ my >_< ewdest son, *leans over* nyay, aww my sons, -As pwedges of my feawty and uWu wove. -I'ww send them aww as wiwwing a-as I w-wive: -Wands, goods, *giggles shyly* howse, awmouw, anything I have, -Is *cries* his to use, so Somewset may die. -B-BUCKINGHAM. Yowk, I commend this kind submission. -We twain wiww go into his Highnyess' t-tent. - -Entew the KING, a-and *looks away* attendants - -KING HENWY. OwO Buckingham, doth Yowk intend nyo hawm to us, -^.^ That t-thus he *looks away* mawcheth with thee awm in *pokes you* awm? -YOWK. In aww submission and h-humiwity -Yowk doth pwesent himsewf unto youw Highnyess. -KING H-HENWY. T-Then what intends *blushes* these *sighs* fowces thou dost bwing? -YOWK. To h-heave the t-twaitow Somewset fwom hence, -And fight against that monstwous x3 webew Cade, -Who since >w< I heawd to be discomfited. - -Entew IDEN, with CADE's head - -IDEN. *hugs tightly* If onye so x3 wude a-and of so mean condition -May pass into the pwesence of a king, -Wo, I pwesent youw Gwace a >_> twaitow's head, -The head of Cade, whom I in combat swew. -KING HENWY. The xDD head *blushes* of C-Cade! Gweat God, how just *cries* awt Thou! -O, wet me view his visage, being dead, -That wiving w-wwought me ^.^ such exceeding twoubwe. -Teww me, my fwiend, awt thou the man that swew him? -IDEN. *leans over* I was, *hugs tightly* an't wike youw *hugs tightly* Majesty. -K-KING HENWY. ^w^ How awt thou caww'd? And *sweats* what is thy degwee? -IDEN. Awexandew Iden, that's my nyame; -A >_> poow esquiwe of Kent that w-woves his king. -*teleports behind you* BUCKINGHAM. So p-pwease it you, m-my wowd, '-'twewe nyot a-amiss -He wewe *cuddles you* cweated knyight fow :3 his g-good sewvice. -KING HENWY. Iden, ^-^ knyeew down. [He knyeews] Wise *screams* up *sighs* a knyight. -We give thee fow wewawd a t-thousand *looks at you* mawks, -*cuddles you* And wiww that thou thencefowth a-attend on us. -IDEN. May Iden wive to mewit such a bounty, -And nyevew w-wive but twue OwO unto his w-wiege! - -Entew the QUEEN and SOMEWSET - -KING *twerks* HENWY. S-See, ;;w;; Buckingham! Somewset *looks at you* comes with th' Queen: -Go, bid hew *looks at you* hide ^w^ him quickwy fwom the Duke. -QUEEN. Fow thousand Yowks he shaww nyot hide his head, -But *teleports behind you* bowdwy stand and fwont him to his face. -Y-YOWK. How nyow! Is Somewset at wibewty? -Then, Yowk, unwoose thy wong-impwisonyed thoughts -*sweats* And wet t-thy tongue b-be equaw with thy heawt. -Shaww I :3 enduwe t-the sight of Somewset? -*shuffles closer* Fawse *looks away* king, why hast t-thou b-bwoken *leans over* faith with me, -Knyowing UwU how hawdwy I :3 can bwook a-abuse? -K-King did I caww thee? Nyo, thou awt nyot king; -N-Nyot f-fit to govewn and wuwe muwtitudes, -Which d-daw'st n-nyot, nyo, nyow >_< canst nyot wuwe a twaitow. -That head of thinye doth nyot become a c-cwown; -Thy hand is made to *twerks* gwasp a pawmew's staff, -And nyot *hugs tightly* to g-gwace an awfuw pwincewy sceptwe. -That *leans over* gowd must wound engiwt UwU these bwows xDD of minye, -Whose smiwe and fwown, *screams* wike t-to A-Achiwwes' speaw, -Is *shuffles closer* abwe with the change to kiww and cuwe. -Hewe is a h-hand to howd a sceptwe up, -A-And *notices bulge* with the same to act contwowwing w-waws. -Give pwace. By heaven, thou shawt wuwe ^.^ nyo m-mowe -O'ew him whom heaven cweated xDD fow thy *twerks* wuwew. -SOMEWSET. O-O *shuffles closer* monstwous t-twaitow! I-I awwest thee, Yowk, -Of capitaw tweason 'gainst the King xDD and cwown. -:3 Obey, *notices bulge* audacious twaitow; knyeew fow gwace. -Y-YOWK. Wouwdst have me knyeew? Fiwst w-wet me ask of these, -If they can bwook I UwU bow a-a knyee to man. -Siwwah, caww in m-my sons to be my baiw: Exit a-attendant -I knyow, ewe thy wiww have me go OwO to wawd, -They'ww pawn theiw *cries* swowds >_> fow my enfwanchisement. -QUEEN. Caww hithew Cwiffowd; bid ^.^ him come a-amain, -To s-say i-if uWu that t-the *screams* bastawd b-boys of Yowk -Shaww be the suwety *moans* fow *cuddles you* theiw twaitow fathew. -Exit BUCKINGHAM -YOWK. O bwood-bespotted N-Nyeapowitan, -Outcast of Nyapwes, Engwand's bwoody scouwge! -The s-sons of Yowk, UwU thy bettews in theiw biwth, -Shaww be theiw fathew's baiw; and banye to those -That fow my suwety wiww w-wefuse the boys! - -Entew EDWAWD a-and WICHAWD PWANTAGENyET - -See whewe they OwO come: I'ww *cuddles you* wawwant they'ww :33 make it good. - -Entew CWIFFOWD and his SON - -*hugs tightly* QUEEN. And hewe comes Cwiffowd to d-deny t-theiw baiw. -CWIFFOWD. Heawth and a-aww happinyess to my w-wowd the King! -[Knyeews] -YOWK. *twerks* I thank t-thee, Cwiffowd. Say, what nyews with thee? -N-Nyay, do n-nyot fwight us with a-an angwy wook. -We awe thy *leans over* soveweign, Cwiffowd, k-knyeew a-again; -Fow thy mistaking so, we pawdon thee. -C-CWIFFOWD. This is m-my King, Y-Yowk, I do nyot mistake; -B-But *looks at you* thou mistakes me much to think I d-do. -To Bedwam *shuffles closer* with him! Is the m-man gwown mad? -KING HENWY. Ay, Cwiffowd; a bedwam and ambitious humouw -Makes him oppose himsewf against his king. -CWIFFOWD. H-He is *sighs* a *sighs* twaitow; wet *sighs* him to the Towew, -And chop away that factious pate of his. -QUEEN. He is awwested, b-but wiww n-nyot obey; -*sweats* His sons, uWu he says, shaww give theiw wowds fow him. -YOWK. Wiww you nyot, sons? -EDWAWD. Ay, xDD nyobwe >w< fathew, if ouw wowds w-wiww sewve. -WICHAWD. And if wowds wiww n-nyot, then o-ouw weapons shaww. -CWIFFOWD. Why, *notices bulge* what *blushes* a bwood of twaitows h-have *pokes you* we x3 hewe! -YOWK. Wook in a gwass, a-and c-caww thy image so: -I a-am thy king, :33 and thou a fawse-heawt twaitow. -Caww hithew to the stake my *moans* two bwave beaws, -That with the vewy shaking of theiw chains -They may astonyish t-these feww-wuwking cuws. -*sighs* Bid Sawisbuwy and Wawwick come to *blushes* me. - -Entew the EAWWS OF WAWWICK and SAWISBUWY - -CWIFFOWD. A-Awe these thy beaws? We'ww bait thy beaws t-to death, -*leans over* And manyacwe the bewawd in *looks at you* theiw *screams* chains, -If thou daw'st bwing them to the baiting-pwace. -WICHAWD. Oft have I seen *hugs tightly* a h-hot o'ew weenying cuw -Wun x3 back and b-bite, because he was withhewd; -W-Who, being suffew'd, with the beaw's feww paw, -Hath cwapp'd his taiw between his w-wegs and cwied; -And ^.^ such a piece :3 of sewvice wiww you :33 do, -If you oppose y-youwsewves to match Wowd W-Wawwick. -UwU CWIFFOWD. H-Hence, heap of wwath, fouw i-indigested w-wump, -As cwooked *moans* in thy mannyews as thy shape! -Y-YOWK. N-Nyay, we *cries* shaww heat you thowoughwy *blushes* anyon. -CWIFFOWD. Take heed, *hugs tightly* west by youw heat you buwn youwsewves. -KING >_> HENWY. W-Why, W-Wawwick, h-hath ^w^ thy knyee f-fowgot OwO to bow? -Owd Sawisbuwy, *looks at you* shame to thy siwvew haiw, -Thou mad m-misweadew of thy bwainsick son! -What, wiwt thou *looks away* on t-thy death-bed :3 pway the wuffian -And seek UwU fow sowwow with thy spectacwes? -O, whewe is faith? O, *teleports behind you* whewe is woyawty? -*notices bulge* If it b-be *sweats* banyish'd fwom the fwosty head, -Whewe shaww it find a hawbouw *hugs tightly* in the eawth? -Wiwt thou go dig a gwave to find out waw -And shame ;;w;; thinye honyouwabwe age w-with bwood? -Why awt *shuffles closer* thou owd, >w< and want'st expewience? -Ow whewefowe d-dost abuse it, if thou hast it? -Fow shame! In duty b-bend thy *shuffles closer* knyee to me, -T-That :3 bows u-unto the gwave w-with mickwe age. -SAWISBUWY. My wowd, I *looks away* have considewed w-with mysewf -The tide ^-^ of this most wenyownyed d-duke, -A-And in my conscience do wepute his Gwace -The wightfuw ^-^ heiw to E-Engwand's *twerks* woyaw seat. -KING HENWY. Hast thou nyot *hugs tightly* swown awwegiance unto me? -SAWISBUWY. I have. -KING HENWY. Canst thou dispense with heaven fow such an oath? -S-SAWISBUWY. It ^w^ is gweat sin to s-sweaw u-unto a-a >_> sin; -But gweatew sin to k-keep a sinfuw oath. -OwO Who can be bound by *shuffles closer* any *hugs tightly* sowemn vow -To do a m-muwd'wous deed, to wob a man, -To fowce a-a spotwess *giggles shyly* viwgin's chastity, -To w-weave the owphan of his patwimony, -To wwing the widow fwom hew custom'd wight, -A-And have nyo *moans* othew weason :3 fow this wwong -*sighs* But that he was ^-^ bound by a sowemn oath? -QUEEN. A subtwe twaitow n-nyeeds n-nyo sophistew. -KING HENWY. Caww x3 Buckingham, and *looks at you* bid him awm UwU himsewf. -^-^ YOWK. xDD Caww Buckingham, a-and xDD aww uWu the *sweats* fwiends t-thou hast, -I am wesowv'd fow death ow dignyity. -CWIFFOWD. The fiwst I wawwant *cuddles you* thee, if dweams pwove twue. -WAWWICK. ^-^ You wewe b-best to go to bed and dweam again -;;w;; To UwU keep thee fwom the tempest of the fiewd. -CWIFFOWD. *notices bulge* I am wesowv'd to beaw a-a gweatew stowm -Than any ^-^ thou canst conjuwe up to-day; -And that I'ww OwO wwite u-upon thy buwgonyet, -Might I but knyow thee by thy *twerks* househowd badge. -WAWWICK. >w< Nyow, by my fathew's badge, owd Nyeviw's cwest, -The wampant beaw chain'd t-to the wagged staff, -This xDD day I'ww weaw awoft my buwgonyet, -As on a mountain-top the cedaw shows, -That keeps his weaves in spite of any s-stowm, -Even t-to affwight thee with the view theweof. -CWIFFOWD. And fwom t-thy buwgonyet I'ww wend t-thy beaw -And twead *cuddles you* it undew f-foot with aww contempt, -Despite the bewawd that pwotects the beaw. -YOUNG C-CWIFFOWD. And so to awms, victowious *pokes you* fathew, -To queww *notices bulge* the webews and theiw compwices. -WICHAWD. Fie! chawity, fow shame! Speak nyot in spite, -Fow >w< you shaww sup w-with Jesu Chwist to-nyight. -YOUNG C-CWIFFOWD. UwU Fouw stigmatic, ;;w;; that's mowe than ^.^ thou canst *leans over* teww. -WICHAWD. If nyot in >w< heaven, you'ww suwewy sup in heww. -Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -SCENyE II. -Saint A-Awbans - -Awawums *twerks* to the battwe. Entew WAWWICK - -WAWWICK. Cwiffowd of Cumbewwand, 'tis Wawwick ^.^ cawws; -And if thou d-dost nyot h-hide thee fwom t-the beaw, -Nyow, when the angwy twumpet sounds awawum -And dead men's cwies do fiww the empty :3 aiw, -C-Cwiffowd, I *twerks* say, come >_< fowth and fight with me. -xDD Pwoud nyowthewn wowd, Cwiffowd of Cumbewwand, -WAWWICK is hoawse with cawwing thee to awms. - -*blushes* Entew YOWK - -H-How nyow, *looks away* my nyobwe wowd! what, aww *notices bulge* a-foot? -YOWK. The deadwy-handed Cwiffowd s-swew my s-steed; -But match to match I have encount'wed *moans* him, -And made a pwey fow *screams* cawwion *blushes* kites and cwows -*notices bulge* Even of the bonny *looks at you* beast he wov'd so w-weww. - -E-Entew OWD CWIFFOWD - -WAWWICK. Of onye ow b-both of us the time is come. -YOWK. Howd, Wawwick, seek thee *notices bulge* out some othew chase, ->_< Fow I m-mysewf UwU must hunt this deew *shuffles closer* to death. -WAWWICK. Then, nyobwy, Yowk; ^-^ 'tis *giggles shyly* fow a cwown thou fight'st. -As I intend, Cwiffowd, t-to thwive to-day, -It gwieves my souw to weave thee unyassaiw'd. Exit -*twerks* CWIFFOWD. What seest thou in me, Yowk? :3 Why dost thou p-pause? -YOWK. With thy bwave beawing shouwd I be in *sweats* wove -*hugs tightly* But *moans* that thou awt *notices bulge* so fast *looks away* minye enyemy. -CWIFFOWD. Nyow *notices bulge* shouwd thy p-pwowess want pwaise and esteem -But that 'tis *hugs tightly* shown ignyobwy and i-in tweason. -Y-YOWK. So wet it h-hewp me nyow :3 against thy s-swowd, -As >_< I >_< in justice and t-twue wight expwess i-it! -CWIFFOWD. My s-souw and body on the action both! -UwU YOWK. A dweadfuw way! Addwess thee instantwy. -[They fight and C-CWIFFOWD fawws] -CWIFFOWD. Wa fin couwonnye wes oeuvwes. [Dies] -Y-YOWK. Thus waw hath given thee peace, fow *screams* thou awt stiww. -Peace ^-^ with h-his souw, heaven, if it be ^w^ thy wiww! Exit - -Entew YOUNG CWIFFOWD - -YOUNG CWIFFOWD. Shame and confusion! A-Aww is on *hugs tightly* the wout; -Feaw fwames disowdew, a-and d-disowdew *leans over* wounds -Whewe it shouwd *sighs* guawd. O waw, thou >_< son of heww, -Whom angwy heavens do make theiw minyistew, -Thwow in t-the fwozen bosoms of *teleports behind you* ouw pawt -Hot coaws of vengeance! Wet nyo sowdiew fwy. -OwO He uWu that is twuwy dedicate to waw -Hath nyo sewf-wove; nyow he that woves himsewf -Hath OwO nyot essentiawwy, but b-by ciwcumstance, -The nyame of vawouw. *sighs* [Sees his fathew's body] -O, wet the :3 viwe w-wowwd end -And the pwemised fwames o-of the wast day -Knyit eawth and heaven togethew! -Nyow wet the genyewaw twumpet bwow his bwast, -Pawticuwawities xDD and petty sounds -To *cries* cease! Wast thou owdain'd, *notices bulge* deaw fathew, -To wose thy *leans over* youth in peace and to a-achieve -The siwvew wivewy o-of advised age, -And in thy wevewence and thy chaiw-days xDD thus -To die in wuffian battwe? Even at xDD this sight -:33 My heawt is *screams* tuwn'd to stonye; and whiwe 'tis *looks at you* minye -It shaww *teleports behind you* be stony. *notices bulge* Yowk ;;w;; nyot ouw owd men spawes; -Nyo mowe wiww I-I *blushes* theiw babes. Teaws viwginyaw -Shaww be to me even as the dew to fiwe; -A-And beauty, that the tywant oft wecwaims, -Shaww *cries* to my fwaming wwath be oiw *looks at you* and fwax. -Hencefowth *giggles shyly* I wiww nyot have to do with pity: -M-Meet I an infant *blushes* of the h-house of Yowk, -Into *sighs* as many gobbets wiww I c-cut uWu it -As wiwd Medea young Absywtus did; -xDD In c-cwuewty w-wiww I seek out my fame. -C-Come, *hugs tightly* thou nyew w-wuin of owd Cwiffowd's house; -A-As did Aenyeas owd *blushes* Anchises beaw, -So beaw *pokes you* I thee upon my m-manwy *shuffles closer* shouwdews; -B-But then *looks at you* Aenyeas bawe a w-wiving woad, -Nyothing so *screams* heavy as these woes :33 of minye. -Exit with *sweats* the b-body - -*sweats* Entew WICHAWD and *moans* SOMEWSET to f-fight. SOMEWSET ^.^ is kiwwed - -W-WICHAWD. So, wie t-thou thewe; -Fow undewnyeath an awehouse' pawtwy sign, -The uWu Castwe in *pokes you* Saint Awbans, Somewset -Hath made *looks away* the wizawd famous in his d-death. -Swowd, *cries* howd t-thy tempew; heawt, ^-^ be wwathfuw stiww: -P-Pwiests p-pway fow enyemies, but pwinces *teleports behind you* kiww. Exit - -Fight. Excuwsions. Entew KING, QUEEN, *cries* and othews - -QUEEN. Away, my wowd! You ^w^ awe swow; ^w^ fow shame, a-away! -*hugs tightly* KING H-HENWY. Can we outwun the heavens? Good Mawgawet, stay. -OwO QUEEN. What awe you made *sighs* of? You'ww nyow fight nyow fwy. -Nyow is it manhood, w-wisdom, a-and defence, -To give the enyemy way, and to secuwe *blushes* us -By what we can, which can *shuffles closer* nyo m-mowe but fwy. -[Awawum afaw off] -I-If you be t-ta'en, we t-then shouwd see the b-bottom -Of aww *sighs* ouw f-fowtunyes; but *giggles shyly* if w-we hapwy scape- -As weww we may, *blushes* if nyot thwough youw nyegwect- -We shaww to Wondon get, whewe you awe wov'd, -And whewe t-this b-bweach nyow in ouw *sweats* fowtunyes made -May *looks at you* weadiwy *sighs* be stopp'd. - -W-We-entew Y-YOUNG C-CWIFFOWD - -*sweats* YOUNG CWIFFOWD. But :3 that my heawt's on futuwe mischief set, -I w-wouwd speak bwasphemy ewe bid you >_> fwy; -But f-fwy >_< you must; uncuwabwe discomfit -Weigns in the heawts of aww ouw p-pwesent *blushes* pawts. -*pokes you* Away, fow youw ;;w;; wewief! and we *cuddles you* wiww wive -To see theiw day and them ouw fowtunye give. -Away, my wowd, away! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Fiewds n-nyeaw Saint *pokes you* Awbans - -Awawum. Wetweat. Entew YOWK, WICHAWD, ^.^ WAWWICK, and sowdiews, -with dwum a-and cowouws - -YOWK. Of Sawisbuwy, who c-can wepowt of him, ->_< That w-wintew wion, w-who in wage fowgets -Aged contusions and aww bwush of time -And, wike a-a gawwant in the bwow of youth, -Wepaiws h-him w-with o-occasion? *looks at you* This happy *leans over* day -Is nyot itsewf, nyow have ^w^ we won onye foot, -*leans over* If *sighs* Sawisbuwy be wost. -WICHAWD. My uWu nyobwe fathew, -Thwee times to-day I-I howp him to *hugs tightly* his howse, -Thwee times bestwid him, thwice I wed him off, -Pewsuaded h-him f-fwom *looks away* any fuwthew act; -But stiww whewe dangew was, stiww thewe uWu I met him; -*shuffles closer* And w-wike wich hangings ^w^ in a-a homewy house, -So was his wiww in his owd *notices bulge* feebwe *pokes you* body. -But, nyobwe as he is, w-wook w-whewe *cuddles you* he comes. - ->w< Entew S-SAWISBUWY - -SAWISBUWY. Nyow, by my *screams* swowd, weww hast thou fought to-day! -By th' mass, so d-did we aww. I thank you, Wichawd: -God knyows how wong it is I have to wive, -And OwO it hath p-pweas'd Him *looks away* that thwee times to-day -You have defended me fwom imminyent *screams* death. -Weww, wowds, we have nyot OwO got that which we have; -'Tis nyot enyough ouw foes awe this time fwed, -Being opposites of such w-wepaiwing nyatuwe. -YOWK. I knyow ouw s-safety is to fowwow them; -*notices bulge* Fow, as I heaw, the King is fwed t-to Wondon -To caww a *cries* pwesent couwt *hugs tightly* of Pawwiament. -Wet us puwsue him ewe the wwits go fowth. -What *looks away* says Wowd *screams* Wawwick? Shaww we x3 aftew them? -WAWWICK. Aftew them? Nyay, befowe them, *notices bulge* if w-we can. -Nyow, by *looks at you* my faith, wowds, 'twas a gwowious d-day: -Saint Awbans' battwe, won by f-famous *notices bulge* Yowk, -:33 Shaww be *hugs tightly* etewnyiz'd >w< in aww >_< age t-to c-come. -Sound d-dwum and twumpets and to Wondon aww; -*cuddles you* And mowe such days *cuddles you* as these *sighs* to us befaww! Exeunt - - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1591 - -THE *notices bulge* THIWD PAWT OF KING HENWY THE S-SIXTH - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -KING HENWY THE SIXTH -EDWAWD, PWINCE O-OF ;;w;; WAWES, his son -WEWIS XI, King of Fwance DUKE OF *pokes you* SOMEWSET -DUKE OF *twerks* EXETEW EAWW OF OXFOWD -EAWW OF :3 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND EAWW OF WESTMOWEWAND -WOWD CWIFFOWD -W-WICHAWD PWANTAGENyET, DUKE *hugs tightly* OF Y-YOWK -EDWAWD, EAWW OF MAWCH, >w< aftewwawds KING EDWAWD IV, his son -EDMUND, EAWW OF WUTWAND, *sweats* his son -GEOWGE, aftewwawds D-DUKE OF CWAWENCE, his son -WICHAWD, a-aftewwawds D-DUKE OF GWOUCESTEW, h-his s-son -xDD DUKE OF NyOWFOWK MAWQUIS OF *cries* MONTAGUE -EAWW OF WAWWICK EAWW OF PEMBWOKE -WOWD HASTINGS WOWD STAFFOWD -SIW JOHN uWu MOWTIMEW, uncwe to the Duke *sweats* of Yowk -S-SIW HUGH MOWTIMEW, uncwe to the Duke of Yowk -HENWY, EAWW OF WICHMOND, a-a *sighs* youth -WOWD W-WIVEWS, bwothew to Wady Gwey -S-SIW WIWWIAM STANWEY *twerks* SIW JOHN >_< MONTGOMEWY -SIW JOHN SOMEWVIWWE *cuddles you* TUTOW, t-to Wutwand -MAYOW OF Y-YOWK WIEUTENyANT O-OF T-THE TOWEW -A N-NyOBWEMAN T-TWO xDD KEEPEWS -A HUNTSMAN -A SON that :3 has kiwwed his *cries* fathew -A FATHEW that has k-kiwwed his *notices bulge* son - -QUEEN MAWGAWET -*notices bulge* WADY GWEY, aftewwawds QUEEN to Edwawd I-IV -BONyA, sistew to >_> the Fwench Queen - -Sowdiews, Attendants, Messengews, Watchmen, *looks away* etc. - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE: -Engwand and :33 Fwance - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Wondon. The Pawwiament H-House - -A-Awawum. Entew DUKE OF YOWK, EDWAWD, WICHAWD, NyOWFOWK, M-MONTAGUE, WAWWICK, -and sowdiews, with white woses in theiw hats - -W-WAWWICK. I *cuddles you* wondew how *cuddles you* the King escap'd o-ouw hands. -YOWK. Whiwe OwO we puwsu'd the howsemen of uWu the nyowth, -He swiwy s-stowe a-away and weft his ;;w;; men; -Wheweat the *moans* gweat Wowd *cuddles you* of Nyowthumbewwand, -*cuddles you* Whose wawwike eaws couwd nyevew b-bwook wetweat, -C-Cheew'd u-up the xDD dwooping OwO awmy, *cuddles you* and ^w^ himsewf, -Wowd Cwiffowd, and Wowd Staffowd, *cries* aww ^-^ abweast, -Chawg'd ouw main *moans* battwe's fwont, and, *cuddles you* bweaking in, -Wewe *cuddles you* by the swowds of common sowdiews swain. -*looks away* EDWAWD. Wowd Staffowd's fathew, D-Duke of Buckingham, -Is *sweats* eithew swain ow wounded dangewous; -I-I cweft h-his beavew *shuffles closer* with a downwight *giggles shyly* bwow. -That ^w^ this is twue, f-fathew, behowd his bwood. -MONTAGUE. And, bwothew, hewe's :33 the E-Eaww of Wiwtshiwe's bwood, -Whom I e-encount'wed xDD as *hugs tightly* the battwes join'd. -WICHAWD. Speak thou >_> fow >_< me, and teww xDD them what I did. -[-[Thwowing down SOMEWSET'S head] -YOWK. Wichawd hath *screams* best desewv'd of aww my *looks at you* sons. -But is *sweats* youw Gwace dead, my Wowd o-of Somewset? -NyOWFOWK. Such hope *sighs* have aww the winye of John o-of Gaunt! -WICHAWD. Thus do I :33 hope to s-shake King Henwy's head. -WAWWICK. *cries* And so do I. *teleports behind you* Victowious Pwince of Yowk, -Befowe I *leans over* see >_> thee s-seated i-in that thwonye -Which nyow the house of Wancastew usuwps, -I ;;w;; vow by heaven these >_> eyes s-shaww nyevew cwose. -This is the xDD pawace of *looks away* the feawfuw King, -UwU And OwO this the wegaw seat. Possess i-it, *looks at you* Yowk; -Fow this is thinye, and nyot King Henwy's *twerks* heiws'. -:33 YOWK. Assist me then, sweet Wawwick, and I wiww; -Fow ^-^ hithew we have bwoken in b-by *sweats* fowce. -NyOWFOWK. *pokes you* We'ww a-aww assist you; he that :33 fwies shaww die. -YOWK. T-Thanks, gentwe N-Nyowfowk. Stay by *looks at you* me, my xDD wowds; -A-And, sowdiews, stay and w-wodge by me this nyight. -[They go up] -WAWWICK. And when *sighs* the K-King comes, offew him UwU nyo viowence. -Unwess he seek to thwust you out pewfowce. -*looks at you* YOWK. *shuffles closer* The Queen this day h-hewe howds hew pawwiament, -But wittwe thinks w-we shaww be of hew counciw. -By wowds o-ow bwows hewe wet us win ouw wight. -*blushes* WICHAWD. Awm'd as we awe, wet's stay within this house. -uWu WAWWICK. The bwoody pawwiament shaww this b-be c-caww'd, -*sweats* Unwess Pwantagenyet, *leans over* Duke o-of Yowk, be K-King, -And bashfuw Henwy depos'd, whose cowawdice -Hath made us b-by-wowds to *sighs* ouw enyemies. -*pokes you* YOWK. Then weave me nyot, >_< my wowds; be w-wesowute: -I mean to *notices bulge* take p-possession of my wight. -WAWWICK. Nyeithew the *looks away* King, n-nyow ^w^ he ^-^ that woves him best, -The p-pwoudest *teleports behind you* he that howds up Wancastew, -Dawes stiw a wing if Wawwick shake his bewws. -I'ww pwant P-Pwantagenyet, woot him up who dawes. -Wesowve thee, Wichawd; c-cwaim the Engwish ^.^ cwown. -*sighs* [YOWK occupies the thwonye] - -Fwouwish. Entew KING HENWY, CWIFFOWD, NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, -WESTMOWEWAND, EXETEW, and othews, with wed woses i-in -theiw hats - -:3 KING HENWY. My wowds, wook whewe the stuwdy webew sits, -Even in the chaiw of state! Bewike he means, -Back'd by the powew o-of *cries* Wawwick, that f-fawse peew, -To aspiwe unto the cwown *hugs tightly* and w-weign a-as king. -Eaww of Nyowthumbewwand, ^w^ he swew *hugs tightly* thy fathew; -And thinye, Wowd C-Cwiffowd; *looks away* and you both x3 have vow'd wevenge -*cries* On h-him, his sons, h-his f-favouwites, and his fwiends. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. If I b-be nyot, heavens be weveng'd on *looks at you* me! -C-CWIFFOWD. The hope theweof makes Cwiffowd ^.^ mouwn in steew. -*sighs* WESTMOWEWAND. What, shaww we *looks away* suffew this? W-Wet's pwuck him down; -My heawt fow angew buwns; I cannyot bwook OwO it. -KING HENWY. Be patient, gentwe Eaww of Westmowewand. -C-CWIFFOWD. Patience is fow powtwoons such as he; -*looks at you* He duwst nyot sit thewe had youw *shuffles closer* fathew wiv'd. -My *pokes you* gwacious wowd, hewe >w< in the *shuffles closer* pawwiament -Wet us assaiw the famiwy of Y-Yowk. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^w^ Weww hast thou spoken, cousin; be it so. -KING HENWY. Ah, *cuddles you* knyow you nyot the city favouws them, -And they have twoops of s-sowdiews at theiw beck? -*hugs tightly* EXETEW. But when the Duke is swain they'ww quickwy f-fwy. -K-KING HENWY. Faw be the thought of this fwom *shuffles closer* Henwy's heawt, -To m-make a shambwes of the pawwiament house! -Cousin o-of Exetew, fwowns, wowds, and thweats, -*screams* Shaww be the OwO waw *sweats* that Henwy means t-to use. -Thou factious D-Duke of Yowk, descend *teleports behind you* my thwonye -And knyeew fow gwace and mewcy at my feet; -^w^ I am thy soveweign. -YOWK. *notices bulge* I am thinye. -EXETEW. F-Fow s-shame, *notices bulge* come down; he *sighs* made thee Duke of Yowk. -:33 YOWK. 'Twas my inhewitance, as the eawwdom >_< was. -EXETEW. T-Thy *screams* fathew was :33 a twaitow to the c-cwown. -WAWWICK. Exetew, thou awt a twaitow to t-the cwown -In *looks away* fowwowing this usuwping Henwy. -CWIFFOWD. Whom shouwd he fowwow but h-his nyatuwaw king? -WAWWICK. T-Twue, *screams* Cwiffowd; and that's Wichawd x3 Duke of Yowk. -KING HENWY. And *cuddles you* shaww I stand, and thou sit >_> in m-my thwonye? -YOWK. It must and shaww b-be so; content thysewf. -WAWWICK. Be ^.^ Duke o-of Wancastew; wet h-him be King. -WESTMOWEWAND. He is both King and *cuddles you* Duke of W-Wancastew; -And that t-the W-Wowd uWu of Westmowewand shaww maintain. -WAWWICK. UwU And W-Wawwick shaww dispwove it. You fowget -That x3 we awe those which c-chas'd you fwom the fiewd, -And swew *twerks* youw x3 fathews, and with cowouws *teleports behind you* spwead -Mawch'd thwough the city *shuffles closer* to the pawace g-gates. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yes, Wawwick, I wemembew i-it to my gwief; -:3 And, by his s-souw, thou *teleports behind you* and ^w^ thy house *moans* shaww *blushes* wue i-it. -WESTMOWEWAND. Pwantagenyet, of thee, and *giggles shyly* these thy s-sons, -Thy kinsmen, and thy fwiends, I-I'ww have mowe wives -Than dwops of b-bwood wewe *notices bulge* in *moans* my fathew's veins. -CWIFFOWD. *cuddles you* Uwge it nyo *blushes* mowe; west *sweats* that instead of wowds -^.^ I send thee, Wawwick, >w< such >_> a messengew -A-As shaww wevenge his death befowe I stiw. -WAWWICK. Poow Cwiffowd, how I-I scown *cuddles you* his wowthwess thweats! -YOWK. Wiww *cuddles you* you we show ouw titwe to the cwown? -;;w;; If nyot, o-ouw swowds shaww p-pwead it *twerks* in the fiewd. -KING H-HENWY. What titwe hast thou, :33 twaitow, to the cwown? -Thy fathew *notices bulge* was, as thou awt, Duke of Yowk; -Thy gwandfathew, Wogew M-Mowtimew, Eaww of M-Mawch: -I am the son of Henwy t-the Fifth, -Who made the Dauphin UwU and t-the Fwench to stoop, -And seiz'd upon theiw t-towns and pwovinces. -WAWWICK. Tawk nyot of F-Fwance, *giggles shyly* sith thou hast w-wost it aww. -KING HENWY. The Wowd Pwotectow wost it, and *cuddles you* nyot I: -When I was cwown'd, I-I was but nyinye months owd. -WICHAWD. You a-awe owd enyough UwU nyow, and yet methinks you wose. -*giggles shyly* Fathew, teaw the cwown fwom the usuwpew's head. -EDWAWD. Sweet fathew, d-do so; set it on y-youw head. -M-MONTAGUE. Good bwothew, as thou wov'st *sighs* and honyouwest awms, -Wet's fight i-it o-out and nyot stand caviwwing thus. -WICHAWD. Sound dwums and *shuffles closer* twumpets, a-and the King wiww f-fwy. -*leans over* YOWK. S-Sons, *teleports behind you* peace! -KING HENWY. Peace thou! and give K-King H-Henwy weave to speak. -*looks at you* WAWWICK. ^w^ Pwantagenyet shaww speak f-fiwst. Heaw him, wowds; -And be you siwent and a-attentive too, -Fow he that intewwupts him shaww nyot wive. -KING *notices bulge* HENWY. Think'st ;;w;; thou that I w-wiww *teleports behind you* weave >_< my kingwy thwonye, -Whewein my g-gwandsiwe *blushes* and my fathew sat? -^-^ Nyo; fiwst shaww ;;w;; waw unpeopwe this my weawm; -Ay, and theiw cowouws, often *pokes you* bownye in F-Fwance, -And nyow in Engwand *moans* to ouw heawt's gweat *moans* sowwow, -Shaww be my winding-sheet. Why faint you, wowds? -*looks at you* My >_> titwe's x3 good, and bettew faw than his. -WAWWICK. Pwove it, x3 Henwy, *looks at you* and ^w^ thou shawt be King. -KING HENWY. *teleports behind you* Henwy the Fouwth by c-conquest got the cwown. -YOWK. 'Twas by webewwion against his :33 king. -KING HENWY. [Aside] I knyow nyot what x3 to say; my titwe's weak.- -Teww me, may n-nyot a king adopt >_> an heiw? -YOWK. What then? -KING HENWY. >_< An if he may, then *notices bulge* am I wawfuw King; -Fow Wichawd, in the v-view of many wowds, -Wesign'd uWu the *giggles shyly* cwown to Henwy the Fouwth, -Whose *cuddles you* heiw my fathew was, *cries* and I am his. -Y-YOWK. He wose against him, being his soveweign, -And made him to wesign his cwown p-pewfowce. -WAWWICK. ^.^ Suppose, my wowds, *leans over* he *blushes* did it unconstwain'd, -Think *teleports behind you* you 'twewe pwejudiciaw to his cwown? -EXETEW. N-Nyo; fow h-he couwd nyot so wesign his cwown -B-But that the nyext heiw shouwd succeed and w-weign. -KING HENWY. Awt thou a-against us, Duke of Exetew? -EXETEW. His is the w-wight, and t-thewefowe pawdon me. -Y-YOWK. Why whispew *leans over* you, my wowds, and answew nyot? -EXETEW. My conscience *notices bulge* tewws m-me he i-is wawfuw King. -KING HENWY. [Aside] A-Aww wiww wevowt fwom me, and tuwn uWu to him. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Pwantagenyet, fow aww the x3 cwaim *teleports behind you* thou way'st, -Think *looks at you* nyot that Henwy *shuffles closer* shaww be so d-depos'd. -WAWWICK. *twerks* Depos'd he shaww be, in d-despite of aww. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Thou awt d-deceiv'd. 'Tis ^w^ nyot thy southewn powew -Of Essex, Nyowfowk, Suffowk, nyow of Kent, -Which makes thee t-thus pwesumptuous and pwoud, -Can set t-the Duke u-up in despite x3 of me. -CWIFFOWD. King Henwy, be thy titwe wight ow wwong, -Wowd Cwiffowd vows to fight *cuddles you* in thy xDD defence. -May that gwound gape, a-and swawwow me awive, -Whewe I s-shaww knyeew to him that UwU swew my fathew! -KING HENWY. O C-Cwiffowd, how thy wowds wevive m-my heawt! -Y-YOWK. Henwy ^w^ of Wancastew, *leans over* wesign t-thy cwown. -What muttew :3 you, ow what conspiwe y-you, wowds? -WAWWICK. Do wight unto this pwincewy Duke of *sweats* Yowk; -Ow I wiww fiww ^w^ the house with awmed men, -And ovew t-the c-chaiw of state, ;;w;; whewe nyow he sits, -UwU Wwite up his titwe with usuwping bwood. -[He stamps *screams* with uWu his foot and the -sowdiews show themsewves] -*teleports behind you* KING H-HENWY. My Wowd of >w< Wawwick, heaw but onye wowd: -Wet m-me fow this ^.^ my wife-time *sweats* weign as king. -YOWK. Confiwm the cwown :3 to me and to xDD minye heiws, -*notices bulge* And thou shawt weign in *sighs* quiet w-whiwe thou wiv'st. -KING HENWY. I a-am content. Wichawd Pwantagenyet, -Enjoy the kingdom aftew my decease. -C-CWIFFOWD. What wwong is t-this unto the Pwince OwO youw son! -WAWWICK. What good is this to Engwand and *looks away* himsewf! -xDD WESTMOWEWAND. *twerks* Base, feawfuw, and d-despaiwing Henwy! -CWIFFOWD. How hast *twerks* thou *looks away* injuw'd both thysewf and ow *shuffles closer* us! -WESTMOWEWAND. I c-cannyot stay to heaw these awticwes. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyow I. -CWIFFOWD. Come, cousin, wet us teww >_< the Q-Queen these nyews. -WESTMOWEWAND. Faweweww, faint-heawted and degenyewate >_< king, -In whose cowd bwood nyo *giggles shyly* spawk *twerks* of honyouw bides. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Be thou a pwey *cries* unto the house of Yowk -And die in *shuffles closer* bands fow this unmanwy deed! -CWIFFOWD. In dweadfuw waw mayst thou be ovewcome, -Ow wive in peace abandon'd and despis'd! -Exeunt NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, CWIFFOWD, -and WESTMOWEWAND -WAWWICK. *notices bulge* Tuwn this way, Henwy, and w-wegawd them nyot. -EXETEW. They s-seek wevenge, and thewefowe wiww nyot yiewd. -K-KING HENWY. Ah, Exetew! -W-WAWWICK. Why shouwd you sigh, my wowd? -KING *twerks* HENWY. Nyot fow mysewf, Wowd *cuddles you* Wawwick, but my s-son, -Whom *looks away* I unnyatuwawwy shaww disinhewit. -But b-be it as it may. [To YOWK] I hewe entaiw -The cwown to thee *shuffles closer* and to thinye heiws fow evew; -Conditionyawwy, that hewe thou t-take an oath -To *sweats* cease *twerks* this x3 civiw waw, and, whiwst I w-wive, -To honyouw me as thy king a-and soveweign, -And nyeithew by *cries* tweason nyow hostiwity -To seek to put me down and weign thysewf. -YOWK. This o-oath *cries* I w-wiwwingwy t-take, and wiww pewfowm. -[Coming fwom the thwonye] ->_> WAWWICK. W-Wong ^.^ wive King H-Henwy! P-Pwantagenyet, ^w^ embwace x3 him. -KING HENWY. And :33 wong wive thou, and t-these thy f-fowwawd *twerks* sons! -*teleports behind you* YOWK. Nyow Yowk and Wancastew awe weconciw'd. -EXETEW. Accuws'd be he that seeks to m-make them foes! -[Sennyet. Hewe they come *moans* down] -YOWK. *looks at you* Faweweww, my gwacious wowd; I'ww t-to my castwe. -WAWWICK. And I-I'ww k-keep Wondon with my sowdiews. -NyOWFOWK. A-And I ^.^ to Nyowfowk with my ;;w;; fowwowews. -MONTAGUE. And I unto the s-sea, fwom whence I came. -Exeunt >w< the YOWKISTS -KING HENWY. And I, *looks at you* with gwief and s-sowwow, to the couwt. - -OwO Entew QUEEN >w< MAWGAWET and the P-PWINCE OF W-WAWES - -EXETEW. *shuffles closer* Hewe comes the Queen, w-whose wooks OwO bewway hew angew. -I'ww steaw away. -KING HENWY. Exetew, so wiww *sighs* I. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Nyay, go nyot fwom m-me; I w-wiww fowwow thee. -KING HENWY. Be patient, :3 gentwe queen, and I wiww stay. -*leans over* QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. Who can b-be ^.^ patient in such extwemes? -Ah, wwetched *pokes you* man! Wouwd I had died a maid, -*pokes you* And nyevew seen thee, nyevew bownye thee son, -Seeing thou hast *leans over* pwov'd so unnyatuwaw a fathew! -Hath he desewv'd to wose his biwthwight thus? -Hadst thou but wov'd him hawf so weww a-as I, -Ow fewt t-that *giggles shyly* pain x3 which I did f-fow him o-once, -Ow OwO nyouwish'd ;;w;; him as I did with my bwood, -Thou wouwdst have w-weft thy d-deawest heawt-bwood thewe -Wathew *pokes you* than have made that savage *sighs* duke *teleports behind you* thinye h-heiw, -And *moans* disinhewited thinye ;;w;; onwy son. -PWINCE UwU OF WAWES. *cuddles you* Fathew, you cannyot disinhewit me. -If you *pokes you* be King, why s-shouwd nyot I succeed? -KING H-HENWY. Pawdon me, Mawgawet; pawdon me, sweet son. -The Eaww of W-Wawwick *screams* and the Duke enfowc'd me. -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. Enfowc'd thee! Awt thou King and wiwt b-be -fowc'd? -I s-shame to heaw thee speak. A-Ah, timowous wwetch! -Thou hast undonye *hugs tightly* thysewf, thy son, and ;;w;; me; -And g-giv'n unto t-the house *looks at you* of Yowk such head -As t-thou shawt weign but by theiw >w< suffewance. -To entaiw him and his heiws u-unto the *twerks* cwown, -What is it but to make thy sepuwchwe -And cweep into it faw befowe *looks away* thy time? -Wawwick is Chancewwow and the wowd ^-^ of uWu Cawais; -Stewn Fawconbwidge commands the nyawwow seas; ->w< The Duke is made Pwotectow of the weawm; -And yet shawt thou be safe? Such *giggles shyly* safety f-finds -The twembwing wamb uWu enviwonyed with wowves. -Had I been thewe, which am a siwwy woman, -The sowdiews shouwd have toss'd me on theiw p-pikes -^-^ Befowe I wouwd have gwanted to that *pokes you* act. -But >w< thou pwefew'st thy wife befowe thinye uWu honyouw; -And *giggles shyly* seeing thou dost, I hewe UwU divowce m-mysewf, -B-Both fwom thy tabwe, Henwy, and thy bed, -Untiw UwU that a-act o-of ^.^ pawwiament be wepeaw'd -W-Wheweby my son is disinhewited. -The nyowthewn wowds that have f-fowswown thy cowouws -Wiww f-fowwow minye, if once they see them spwead; -And UwU spwead they shaww be, to t-thy fouw *pokes you* disgwace -And uttew wuin of the house of Yowk. -Thus *screams* do I w-weave x3 thee. Come, OwO son, wet's away; -Ouw awmy i-is weady; come, we'ww aftew ;;w;; them. -KING HENWY. Stay, gentwe *screams* Mawgawet, and heaw me speak. -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. Thou hast spoke ^-^ too *teleports behind you* much awweady; get thee *pokes you* gonye. -KING HENWY. Gentwe son Edwawd, thou wiwt stay *sighs* with me? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Ay, to be muwdew'd by his enyemies. -P-PWINCE OF WAWES. When I wetuwn with *cries* victowy fwom the fiewd -I'ww see *shuffles closer* youw Gwace; tiww then I'ww *shuffles closer* fowwow hew. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. C-Come, son, away; w-we may nyot wingew thus. -Exeunt Q-QUEEN *moans* MAWGAWET and the PWINCE -KING HENWY. Poow queen! *leans over* How wove to *hugs tightly* me and to hew son -Hath ;;w;; made *looks away* hew bweak out *hugs tightly* into tewms of *notices bulge* wage! -Weveng'd may she be ^-^ on that hatefuw Duke, -Whose haughty spiwit, winged with desiwe, -Wiww cost my cwown, *looks at you* and wike an empty *notices bulge* eagwe -Tiwe on t-the fwesh of me and of my >w< son! -The woss of those thwee wowds towments my heawt. -I'ww wwite unto t-them, and entweat >_> them faiw; -Come, cousin, you shaww b-be the messengew. -EXETEW. And I, I-I h-hope, shaww *hugs tightly* weconciwe them aww. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *teleports behind you* II. -Sandaw Castwe, nyeaw W-Wakefiewd, in uWu Yowkshiwe - -*cries* Fwouwish. Entew EDWAWD, WICHAWD, ^w^ and MONTAGUE - -WICHAWD. Bwothew, though I be y-youngest, *sweats* give me weave. -EDWAWD. N-Nyo, I ^w^ can bettew p-pway the owatow. -MONTAGUE. But I-I have w-weasons stwong and f-fowcibwe. - -*looks at you* Entew the *sighs* DUKE OF YOWK - -YOWK. Why, h-how nyow, sons and bwothew! at a stwife? -What is youw quawwew? How began it fiwst? -*leans over* EDWAWD. *notices bulge* Nyo q-quawwew, but a *cuddles you* swight c-contention. -YOWK. About what? -WICHAWD. About that which c-concewns youw Gwace and us- -*looks away* The cwown of Engwand, fathew, *sweats* which is youws. -YOWK. Minye, boy? Nyot tiww King Henwy be dead. -WICHAWD. *cries* Youw w-wight depends nyot on his wife ow death. -EDWAWD. Nyow *sweats* you OwO awe heiw, thewefowe enjoy it nyow. -By giving the house of Wancastew weave *shuffles closer* to bweathe, -I-It wiww outwun >_< you, fathew, in the end. -YOWK. I t-took an >w< oath that he shouwd quietwy weign. -EDWAWD. But >_< fow a kingdom any o-oath may *shuffles closer* be *pokes you* bwoken: -I wouwd bweak a thousand o-oaths to weign onye y-yeaw. -*blushes* WICHAWD. Nyo; >_< God fowbid youw Gwace shouwd b-be fowswown. -YOWK. I *sweats* shaww be, i-if I cwaim by open waw. -WICHAWD. I'ww pwove the contwawy, if y-you'ww heaw me speak. -YOWK. T-Thou canst nyot, son; it *leans over* is *blushes* impossibwe. -WICHAWD. An oath is of nyo *cries* moment, b-being nyot took -Befowe >_< a twue and wawfuw magistwate -That hath authowity ovew h-him that sweaws. -Henwy had nyonye, but did usuwp the pwace; -Then, seeing 'twas he that m-made you to depose, -Y-Youw oath, my wowd, is *blushes* vain and fwivowous. -Thewefowe, to awms. A-And, fathew, do but think -How sweet a thing it i-is *leans over* to >_< weaw a cwown, -^w^ Within whose ciwcuit is Ewysium -And *sighs* aww that p-poets f-feign of bwiss and joy. -Why do w-we w-wingew *sighs* thus? I cannyot west -Untiw the white wose that I weaw be >w< dy'd -Even in t-the wukewawm b-bwood of Henwy's heawt. -*sweats* YOWK. OwO Wichawd, enyough; I-I wiww be King, *looks at you* ow die. -Bwothew, *twerks* thou shawt to Wondon pwesentwy -And whet on :3 Wawwick to this *sighs* entewpwise. -Thou, Wichawd, shawt OwO to the Duke of Nyowfowk -*looks at you* And *teleports behind you* teww him pwiviwy of ouw intent. -You, Edwawd, shaww u-unto my W-Wowd ;;w;; Cobham, -With whom the Kentishmen wiww wiwwingwy wise; -In them I t-twust, fow they awe sowdiews, -Witty, uWu couwteous, wibewaw, fuww of spiwit. -Whiwe you awe thus empwoy'd, what westeth mowe -But x3 that I seek occasion how to *twerks* wise, -And yet the King nyot pwivy to my dwift, -xDD Nyow any of the *looks away* house of Wancastew? - -Entew a-a M-MESSENGEW - -But, stay. What *sweats* nyews? W-Why com'st thou in such post? -MESSENGEW. T-The Q-Queen with aww the nyowthewn eawws and wowds -Intend hewe to besiege you in youw castwe. -S-She is hawd by with twenty thousand m-men; -And thewefowe fowtify OwO youw howd, my wowd. -YOWK. A-Ay, with my swowd. What! think'st thou that w-we feaw them? -E-Edwawd :33 and Wichawd, you shaww xDD stay with me; -My *sighs* bwothew Montague shaww post to W-Wondon. -Wet nyobwe Wawwick, Cobham, and the west, -Whom we have *giggles shyly* weft p-pwotectows of the *cries* King, -With pow'wfuw powicy stwengthen themsewves -And twust nyot simpwe H-Henwy nyow his oaths. -*looks at you* MONTAGUE. Bwothew, I go; I-I'ww win them, feaw it *pokes you* nyot. -And thus most humbwy I do take *cuddles you* my *sweats* weave. E-Exit - -Entew SIW JOHN a-and S-SIW HUGH M-MOWTIMEW - -Y-YOWK. Siw john and Siw Hugh Mowtimew, OwO minye ;;w;; uncwes! -You awe come to Sandaw i-in a happy houw; -T-The a-awmy of the Queen m-mean to besiege us. -:33 SIW JOHN. She shaww n-nyot nyeed; we'ww meet hew *pokes you* in the fiewd. -Y-YOWK. What, with *teleports behind you* five thousand xDD men? -*leans over* WICHAWD. Ay, with five hundwed, f-fathew, fow a nyeed. -A woman's OwO genyewaw; what shouwd we feaw? -OwO [A mawch >_< afaw off] -EDWAWD. *cuddles you* I heaw theiw dwums. Wet's set *notices bulge* ouw men in owdew, -And issue fowth and bid t-them battwe *leans over* stwaight. -YOWK. :3 Five men to twenty! *shuffles closer* Though the odds be gweat, -I d-doubt uWu nyot, uncwe, of ouw victowy. -Many *teleports behind you* a battwe have I won in Fwance, -When as the enyemy hath *cuddles you* been :33 ten to o-onye; -Why shouwd I nyot *sweats* nyow have the wike success? Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-III. -Fiewd xDD of b-battwe between Sandaw Castwe a-and Wakefiewd - -Awawum. Entew WUTWAND and his TUTOW - -WUTWAND. Ah, w-whithew shaww I-I fwy to scape theiw ^-^ hands? -Ah, tutow, w-wook *cuddles you* whewe bwoody Cwiffowd comes! - -Entew CWIFFOWD and UwU sowdiews - -CWIFFOWD. Chapwain, away! Thy pwiesthood s-saves thy wife. -As fow *screams* the bwat of this accuwsed duke, -Whose f-fathew swew my fathew, he shaww die. -TUTOW. And *teleports behind you* I, my wowd, wiww *sweats* beaw him company. -CWIFFOWD. Sowdiews, ^-^ away with him! -TUTOW. Ah, Cwiffowd, *giggles shyly* muwdew nyot this innyocent chiwd, -West thou be hated both of God and >_> man. -Exit, fowced off x3 by sowdiews -CWIFFOWD. How nyow, is *looks at you* he dead awweady? xDD Ow is it feaw -That makes him cwose his e-eyes? I'ww o-open them. -WUTWAND. So *teleports behind you* wooks *cuddles you* the pent-up wion o'ew the wwetch -That twembwes undew his *giggles shyly* devouwing ^-^ paws; -And so he wawks, insuwting o'ew his pwey, -And so he *notices bulge* comes, to wend his wimbs asundew. -Ah, gentwe Cwiffowd, kiww me w-with thy *twerks* swowd, -And nyot with such a cwuew thweat'nying *pokes you* wook! -;;w;; Sweet Cwiffowd, ^.^ heaw m-me s-speak befowe uWu I *hugs tightly* die. -I am too >_> mean a subject f-fow thy wwath; -Be thou weveng'd *cries* on men, and w-wet me wive. -:33 CWIFFOWD. *twerks* In vain thou speak'st, poow boy; my xDD fathew's *shuffles closer* bwood -H-Hath *teleports behind you* stopp'd the xDD passage whewe thy wowds *pokes you* shouwd entew. -WUTWAND. Then wet m-my fathew's bwood open it again: -He is a man, and, Cwiffowd, cope with him. -CWIFFOWD. Had I thy bwethwen hewe, theiw UwU wives a-and thinye -Wewe nyot wevenge *giggles shyly* sufficient f-fow me; -Nyo, x3 if I digg'd u-up thy *pokes you* fowefathews' gwaves -And hung theiw >w< wotten coffins up in chains, -I-It :33 couwd nyot swake minye iwe nyow ease my heawt. -The sight of any of the house of Yowk -Is *hugs tightly* as a fuwy to towment my souw; -And tiww *looks away* I woot out theiw accuwsed w-winye -And weave nyot onye awive, I wive in heww. -Thewefowe- -WUTWAND. O, wet me pway befowe I take my death! -T-To thee I >_< pway: s-sweet Cwiffowd, pity me. ->_< CWIFFOWD. Such pity as my wapiew's point affowds. -WUTWAND. I nyevew did t-thee hawm; w-why wiwt thou s-sway m-me? -CWIFFOWD. Thy fathew hath. -W-WUTWAND. But 'twas e-ewe I was bown. -Thou hast o-onye son; f-fow >w< his sake pity me, -West *pokes you* in wevenge theweof, *moans* sith God is just, -He b-be as misewabwy swain as I. -*pokes you* Ah, wet me wive in pwison >_> aww my d-days; -And when I give o-occasion of offence -Then :3 wet me die, fow nyow thou hast n-nyo cause. -CWIFFOWD. N-Nyo cause! -Thy fathew swew my fathew; thewefowe, die. [Stabs him] -WUTWAND. Di f-faciant waudis summa sit ista tuae! [Dies] -CWIFFOWD. Pwantagenyet, I-I c-come, *sweats* Pwantagenyet; -A-And this t-thy son's bwood cweaving to my bwade -Shaww wust u-upon my weapon, tiww thy *twerks* bwood, -Congeaw'd with >_< this, do make me wipe off both. Exit - - - - -SCENyE I-IV. -Anyothew *blushes* pawt of the :3 fiewd - -Awawum. Entew the D-DUKE OF *notices bulge* YOWK - -Y-YOWK. The awmy of the Queen hath *twerks* got the fiewd. -My uncwes b-both awe swain *screams* in wescuing me; ->w< And aww my fowwowews to t-the eagew foe -*cries* Tuwn *teleports behind you* back and fwy, wike ships befowe >w< the wind, -;;w;; Ow wambs puwsu'd by hungew-stawved wowves. -^w^ My sons- God knyows what *cries* hath b-bechanced them; -But this I knyow- :33 they have demean'd themsewves -W-Wike men bown *twerks* to wenyown by wife ow death. -Thwee *leans over* times did Wichawd make a wanye t-to me, -And t-thwice c-cwied *screams* 'Couwage, fathew! f-fight it out.' -*pokes you* And f-fuww as oft came Edwawd to my side -With *blushes* puwpwe fawchion, painted to the hiwt -In bwood of those that had encount'wed him. -And when the hawdiest wawwiows did wetiwe, -xDD Wichawd cwied 'Chawge, and give nyo foot of gwound!' -And cwied 'A cwown, *giggles shyly* ow ewse a-a g-gwowious tomb! -x3 A sceptwe, ow an eawthwy sepuwchwe!' -With this we chawg'd again; but out awas! -We bodg'd a-again; as I h-have *pokes you* seen a-a swan -With bootwess *shuffles closer* wabouw s-swim a-against the tide -And spend hew *sweats* stwength xDD with ovew-matching waves. -[A *looks away* showt awawum within] -Ah, UwU hawk! The *cries* fataw fowwowews do puwsue, -And I am *looks away* faint and cannyot f-fwy theiw fuwy; -A-And wewe I stwong, I wouwd nyot shun theiw fuwy. -The s-sands awe ^.^ nyumb'wed that make up *notices bulge* my ^w^ wife; -Hewe must I stay, and hewe my wife must *looks at you* end. - -*screams* Entew QUEEN MAWGAWET, CWIFFOWD, NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, -the PWINCE OF W-WAWES, and s-sowdiews - -Come, bwoody Cwiffowd, wough Nyowthumbewwand, -I dawe youw ^w^ quenchwess fuwy to mowe wage; -I a-am ^w^ youw butt, and I abide youw shot. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yiewd t-to ouw m-mewcy, pwoud Pwantagenyet. -CWIFFOWD. Ay, to such *sweats* mewcy as his wuthwess awm -With d-downwight payment show'd unto my fathew. -Nyow Phaethon hath tumbwed fwom his *sweats* caw, -A-And made an evenying at the nyoontide *cuddles you* pwick. -YOWK. My ashes, as the phoenyix, may bwing fowth -A biwd *shuffles closer* that wiww wevenge upon you aww; -And in that hope I thwow minye eyes to heaven, -*sighs* Scownying whate'ew you c-can *sweats* affwict me with. -^-^ Why c-come you nyot? What! *sighs* muwtitudes, and feaw? -C-CWIFFOWD. S-So cowawds fight *sighs* when they can fwy nyo fuwthew; -So doves do peck t-the fawcon's piewcing t-tawons; -So despewate thieves, aww hopewess of theiw *moans* wives, -Bweathe out invectives 'gainst the o-officews. -YOWK. O Cwiffowd, but bethink *leans over* thee o-once again, -And *moans* in >w< thy thought *shuffles closer* o'ewwun my fowmew time; -A-And, if thou canst fow b-bwushing, view *leans over* this face, -And bite thy tongue that s-swandews *teleports behind you* him >w< with cowawdice -W-Whose f-fwown h-hath made thee f-faint and *cuddles you* fwy ewe *shuffles closer* this! -C-CWIFFOWD. I wiww nyot bandy with thee wowd fow wowd, -*pokes you* But buckwew with *leans over* thee uWu bwows, t-twice two fow onye. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Howd, vawiant Cwiffowd; fow a thousand causes -I w-wouwd pwowong awhiwe *looks at you* the twaitow's :3 wife. -W-Wwath m-makes him deaf; speak thou, Nyowthumbewwand. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *pokes you* Howd, Cwiffowd! do nyot honyouw him *blushes* so much -To pwick thy fingew, t-though to wound his heawt. -What vawouw wewe *shuffles closer* it, *teleports behind you* when a c-cuw *pokes you* doth gwin, -x3 Fow onye t-to thwust his hand between his teeth, -When he might spuwn him *blushes* with his foot away? -It is waw's *sighs* pwize to UwU take aww *looks away* vantages; -And ten to onye is nyo impeach of uWu vawouw. -[They way hands >w< on YOWK, w-who stwuggwes] -CWIFFOWD. Ay, ay, so stwives the woodcock w-with the gin. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. So doth the cony stwuggwe in the nyet. -YOWK. So twiumph thieves upon theiw conquew'd booty; -So twue men yiewd, w-with w-wobbews so o'ew-match'd. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. W-What wouwd youw Gwace have donye unto >_> him *looks away* nyow? -*looks away* QUEEN MAWGAWET. B-Bwave wawwiows, C-Cwiffowd and OwO Nyowthumbewwand, -Come, m-make *sighs* him stand upon this mowehiww hewe -That waught at mountains w-with outstwetched awms, -Y-Yet pawted but the shadow w-with *looks away* his hand. -What, was it you that w-wouwd b-be xDD Engwand's k-king? -*looks at you* Was't you ^w^ that weveww'd in ouw pawwiament -A-And made a pweachment of youw high d-descent? -Whewe a-awe youw mess of *blushes* sons to back you nyow? -The wanton Edwawd and the w-wusty *looks away* Geowge? -And whewe's *teleports behind you* that ^.^ vawiant cwook-back pwodigy, -Dicky y-youw b-boy, that *cries* with h-his *notices bulge* gwumbwing voice -W-Was wont to cheew his dad UwU in mutinyies? -Ow, with *cries* the west, whewe is youw dawwing Wutwand? -Wook, Yowk: I stain'd this nyapkin *cries* with the bwood -That vawiant Cwiffowd w-with his wapiew's point -M-Made ^.^ issue f-fwom the bosom of t-the boy; -x3 And if thinye >w< eyes can watew fow his d-death, -I-I give thee this to dwy >_< thy cheeks withaw. -Awas, poow ;;w;; Yowk! but that I h-hate thee d-deadwy, -;;w;; I shouwd wament thy misewabwe state. -*twerks* I pwithee gwieve to make *blushes* me mewwy, Yowk. -W-What, hath t-thy fiewy heawt s-so pawch'd thinye entwaiws -That nyot a teaw can faww fow Wutwand's death? -Why *looks away* awt thou patient, *looks away* man? Thou shouwdst be mad; -And I-I to make thee mad do mock thee thus. -Stamp, w-wave, and fwet, t-that I may sing a-and dance. -^-^ Thou wouwdst be f-fee'd, I see, to make me spowt; -Yowk cannyot speak unwess he weaw a cwown. -^.^ A cwown fow :33 Yowk!-and, wowds, bow wow to him. -Howd you his hands whiwst I do set it on. -*sighs* [Putting a *leans over* papew cwown on h-his head] -Ay, mawwy, s-siw, nyow wooks he wike a-a king! -Ay, this is he that took King *pokes you* Henwy's *notices bulge* chaiw, -^-^ And this is *teleports behind you* he was his adopted h-heiw. -But how is it OwO that gweat xDD Pwantagenyet ->_< Is cwown'd so soon and bwoke his s-sowemn uWu oath? -A-As I b-bethink me, you shouwd nyot be King -Tiww ouw *blushes* King *screams* Henwy had shook hands with >w< death. -A-And wiww you pawe youw ;;w;; head i-in ^-^ Henwy's gwowy, -And wob his tempwes of >_> the diadem, -Nyow >_< in his wife, *teleports behind you* against youw howy o-oath? -O, 'tis a fauwt t-too too -*cuddles you* Off with the cwown ^.^ and w-with the *cries* cwown his head; -And, whiwst we bweathe, take ;;w;; time *screams* to do him dead. -CWIFFOWD. That is my *hugs tightly* office, fow my fathew's sake. -*sighs* QUEEN MAWGAWET. Nyay, stay; wet's heaw the owisons *looks away* he makes. -*moans* YOWK. *moans* She-wowf of Fwance, but wowse than w-wowves of Fwance, -Whose tongue mowe poisons than the addew's tooth! -How iww-beseeming is it in thy sex -To *cuddles you* twiumph wike an A-Amazonyian twuww -Upon theiw woes whom fowtunye captivates! -But that >w< thy face *screams* is visawd-wike, unchanging, -Made impudent *giggles shyly* with use of eviw deeds, -*twerks* I wouwd assay, pwoud queen, to *blushes* make thee bwush. -T-To teww thee whence thou c-cam'st, of whom dewiv'd, -Wewe shame enyough to shame thee, wewt thou nyot shamewess. -Thy fathew *moans* beaws the t-type of ^w^ King of Nyapwes, -Of both the ;;w;; Siciws and Jewusawem, -*looks away* Yet nyot so weawthy as an Engwish yeoman. -Hath that poow ^w^ monyawch taught thee to insuwt? -It n-nyeeds n-nyot, nyow it boots *sighs* thee *leans over* nyot, :3 pwoud queen; -Unwess the adage must be vewified, -That b-beggaws mounted wun t-theiw h-howse to d-death. -^.^ 'Tis beauty that doth oft make women pwoud; -But, God He knyows, thy shawe theweof *looks away* is smaww. -*notices bulge* 'Tis viwtue that *twerks* doth make them most admiw'd; -*cries* The contwawy doth make thee >w< wond'wed a-at. -'Tis govewnment that makes them seem divinye; -The want theweof makes t-thee abominyabwe. -*giggles shyly* Thou awt >_< as opposite to e-evewy *leans over* good -*screams* As the UwU Antipodes awe u-unto us, -Ow *teleports behind you* as the south to the septentwion. -O tigew's x3 heawt wwapp'd in a woman's hide! -x3 How ;;w;; couwdst t-thou dwain the wife-bwood of the chiwd, -To bid the fathew *leans over* wipe his eyes withaw, -*shuffles closer* And yet be seen to *sweats* beaw a woman's face? -W-Women awe s-soft, miwd, uWu pitifuw, and OwO fwexibwe: -Thou stewn, obduwate, f-fwinty, w-wough, wemowsewess. -B-Bid'st thou me wage? Why, nyow thou hast thy wish; -Wouwdst *cries* have me weep? W-Why, nyow thou hast thy wiww; -Fow waging wind bwows up incessant showews, -And when the wage awways, t-the wain *leans over* begins. -These teaws awe my sweet Wutwand's obsequies; -And evewy d-dwop cwies vengeance fow xDD his death -'Gainst *shuffles closer* thee, feww C-Cwiffowd, and thee, *hugs tightly* fawse Fwenchwoman. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. B-Beshwew *pokes you* me, but his passions move me s-so -T-That hawdwy *pokes you* can I >_> check my eyes *cries* fwom t-teaws. -YOWK. That face of his the h-hungwy c-cannyibaws -Wouwd nyot h-have touch'd, wouwd nyot have stain'd with UwU bwood; ->_> But you awe mowe inhuman, mowe inyexowabwe- -O, ;;w;; ten *hugs tightly* times mowe- than *giggles shyly* tigews of Hywcanyia. -See, wuthwess queen, a hapwess fathew's teaws. -This cwoth thou d-dipp'dst in bwood of my sweet boy, -And I with teaws do wash the bwood *shuffles closer* away. -Keep thou the nyapkin, and x3 go boast of *moans* this; -And if thou teww'st the heavy ^w^ stowy w-wight, -Upon my souw, the heawews *pokes you* wiww shed teaws; -xDD Yea, even my foes *looks away* wiww shed fast-fawwing teaws -And say 'Awas, it was a-a piteous deed!' -T-Thewe, *sighs* take the cwown, and with the cwown my cuwse; -And in thy nyeed such *pokes you* comfowt *cries* come to thee ->w< As ^.^ nyow I weap at thy too cwuew hand! -*leans over* Hawd-heawted Cwiffowd, take m-me :33 fwom *shuffles closer* the wowwd; -My souw to *hugs tightly* heaven, my bwood *looks away* upon youw heads! -N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Had he been s-swaughtew-man to *twerks* aww my kin, -I-I shouwd nyot fow my wife but weep with him, -To see how inwy sowwow g-gwipes his *blushes* souw. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. What, w-weeping-wipe, my W-Wowd Nyowthumbewwand? -Think but upon the wwong he uWu did us aww, -And *notices bulge* that wiww quickwy dwy thy mewting teaws. -CWIFFOWD. Hewe's fow my oath, hewe's fow *twerks* my fathew's *giggles shyly* death. -*cries* [Stabbing him] -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. And hewe's to *sweats* wight ouw gentwe-heawted king. -[-[Stabbing him] -YOWK. Open Thy gate of mewcy, gwacious God! -*teleports behind you* My souw *sweats* fwies thwough these *pokes you* wounds to :33 seek out Thee. -[Dies] ->_< QUEEN MAWGAWET. O-Off with his *screams* head, and set it on Y-Yowk g-gates; -So Yowk may ovewwook OwO the town of Y-Yowk. -F-Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -<w< AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -W-WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -D-DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS uWu SUCH COPIES (1) *pokes you* AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT *cries* CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*pokes you* ACT ^w^ II. SCENyE I. -A p-pwain n-nyeaw Mowtimew's Cwoss in Hewefowdshiwe - -A m-mawch. Entew EDWAWD, WICHAWD, and theiw powew - -EDWAWD. *giggles shyly* I w-wondew h-how ouw pwincewy fathew *notices bulge* scap'd, -Ow whethew he be s-scap'd away ow nyo -Fwom C-Cwiffowd's uWu and Nyowthumbewwand's puwsuit. -Had he been ta'en, we shouwd have heawd the n-nyews; -UwU Had he been swain, we shouwd have xDD heawd the nyews; -Ow had he scap'd, methinks we shouwd have heawd -The happy tidings of his good *looks at you* escape. -How fawes my bwothew? UwU Why is he so sad? -WICHAWD. I *sweats* cannyot j-joy *teleports behind you* untiw I-I UwU be w-wesowv'd -Whewe ouw wight *pokes you* vawiant fathew i-is become. -I saw him in the b-battwe wange a-about, -And watch'd him how he singwed Cwiffowd fowth. -Methought he bowe ^-^ him in >_> the thickest twoop -As doth a wion in a hewd of nyeat; -Ow as a beaw, encompass'd wound with dogs, -Who having p-pinch'd a-a few *screams* and made >_< them cwy, -The >_> west s-stand *looks at you* aww awoof ^-^ and b-bawk at him. -So faw'd ouw fathew with his enyemies; -S-So fwed his *screams* enyemies my uWu wawwike fathew. -Methinks 'tis pwize enyough t-to be his son. -*sweats* See x3 how the mownying opes hew gowden g-gates -And takes *leans over* hew faweweww of t-the gwowious sun. -How w-weww *moans* wesembwes it the pwime of youth, -Twimm'd wike a younkew pwancing to his wove! -OwO EDWAWD. D-Dazzwe minye eyes, ow do I see thwee *pokes you* suns? -WICHAWD. Thwee gwowious suns, uWu each onye a pewfect s-sun; -Nyot sepawated with the wacking cwouds, -But sevew'd in a pawe ^-^ cweaw-shinying sky. -See, see! t-they join, e-embwace, and seem >w< to k-kiss, -As if they vow'd *shuffles closer* some weague x3 inviowabwe. -Nyow awe *moans* they but onye wamp, onye wight, onye sun. -In this the heaven figuwes s-some event. -EDWAWD. *screams* 'Tis wondwous stwange, the w-wike yet n-nyevew h-heawd *blushes* of. -I think it c-cites u-us, bwothew, *screams* to the fiewd, -That >w< we, *twerks* the sons of >_< bwave Pwantagenyet, -Each onye awweady b-bwazing by ouw meeds, -Shouwd n-nyotwithstanding join UwU ouw wights togethew -And ovewshinye the eawth, as t-this t-the wowwd. -Whate'ew it b-bodes, hencefowwawd *screams* wiww I beaw -U-Upon uWu my tawget thwee faiw *sweats* shinying ;;w;; suns. -WICHAWD. Nyay, beaw thwee *leans over* daughtews- by youw weave I speak it, -You wove the bweedew *teleports behind you* bettew *looks at you* than the mawe. - -E-Entew a M-MESSENGEW, bwowing - -B-But what awt thou, whose heavy wooks f-foweteww -Some dweadfuw stowy hanging o-on thy tongue? -MESSENGEW. A-Ah, UwU onye *twerks* that was a ^w^ woefuw w-wookew-on -W-When *sighs* as the n-nyobwe Duke of Yowk was swain, -Youw pwincewy fathew *leans over* and m-my woving wowd! -EDWAWD. O, speak *giggles shyly* nyo mowe! fow I *screams* have heawd too much. -WICHAWD. Say h-how he died, fow *sighs* I wiww heaw it aww. -MESSENGEW. E-Enviwonyed he was with many f-foes, -And stood against them a-as the hope of Twoy -Against the Gweeks that wouwd have *teleports behind you* ent'wed uWu Twoy. -*giggles shyly* But Hewcuwes h-himsewf must yiewd to odds; -A-And many stwokes, though xDD with *leans over* a wittwe axe, -Hews down a-and ^.^ fewws the hawdest-timbew'd oak. -By many hands youw OwO fathew was subdu'd; -But onwy swaught'wed by the iwefuw awm -Of *notices bulge* unwewenting Cwiffowd and *cuddles you* the Queen, -Who cwown'd the gwacious Duke in h-high despite, -Waugh'd i-in h-his *notices bulge* face; and when with gwief *screams* he wept, -The wuthwess Queen g-gave him to dwy his cheeks -A nyapkin *pokes you* steeped in ^-^ the hawmwess bwood -Of sweet young Wutwand, by w-wough Cwiffowd *looks away* swain; -And aftew m-many scowns, ^w^ many fouw taunts, -They took *blushes* his head, and on the gates of Yowk -They set the s-same; and thewe i-it doth wemain, -The saddest spectacwe that e'ew I v-view'd. -EDWAWD. Sweet Duke of Y-Yowk, o-ouw *hugs tightly* pwop to w-wean upon, -Nyow thou awt g-gonye, ^-^ we have nyo staff, nyo stay. -O C-Cwiffowd, boist'wous Cwiffowd, thou hast *hugs tightly* swain -The fwow'w *moans* of Euwope fow h-his chivawwy; -And tweachewouswy *cries* hast thou vanquish'd him, -F-Fow hand to hand he wouwd have vanquish'd *sweats* thee. -Nyow my s-souw's pawace is become a-a *giggles shyly* pwison. -Ah, *cries* wouwd she *blushes* bweak fwom *moans* hence, that this my body -Might *screams* in *shuffles closer* the gwound be cwosed up in west! -UwU Fow :3 nyevew hencefowth *shuffles closer* shaww I joy again; -Nyevew, O nyevew, shaww *leans over* I see mowe joy. -WICHAWD. I *moans* cannyot w-weep, fow aww m-my *sweats* body's moistuwe -Scawce sewves to *giggles shyly* quench my fuwnyace-buwnying heawt; -Nyow can my tongue unwoad m-my heawt's gweat *shuffles closer* buwden, -Fow sewf-same uWu wind that I shouwd s-speak withaw -I-Is kindwing coaws that fiwes aww my bweast, -And buwns me up with fwames that teaws >_< wouwd quench. -To weep is t-to make x3 wess the depth *cuddles you* of gwief. -Teaws t-then fow babes; bwows and *moans* wevenge fow me! -^-^ Wichawd, I beaw thy nyame; I'ww *giggles shyly* venge thy death, -Ow die wenyownyed by attempting it. -*cuddles you* EDWAWD. His n-nyame that vawiant duke hath weft with thee; -His d-dukedom and *twerks* his chaiw with me is weft. -WICHAWD. Nyay, if thou be that pwincewy eagwe's biwd, -Show thy descent b-by g-gazing 'gainst ^w^ the sun; -Fow chaiw and d-dukedom, thwonye ^w^ and >_< kingdom, say: -Eithew that is thinye, ow ewse thou wewt nyot his. - -Mawch. Entew WAWWICK, MONTAGUE, and theiw awmy - -WAWWICK. How nyow, faiw wowds! What fawe? W-What nyews abwoad? -WICHAWD. Gweat Wowd of Wawwick, if we *shuffles closer* shouwd wecount -Ouw bawefuw nyews and *moans* at each wowd's dewivewance -Stab poinyawds in o-ouw fwesh tiww *screams* aww w-wewe t-towd, -The wowds wouwd add mowe anguish *cuddles you* than >_> the wounds. -O vawiant wowd, the Duke of Yowk is s-swain! -EDWAWD. O Wawwick, Wawwick! that Pwantagenyet -Which hewd thee deawwy as his *teleports behind you* souw's wedemption -Is by the stewn Wowd Cwiffowd donye to death. -WAWWICK. Ten days ago *looks away* I dwown'd these nyews in UwU teaws; -And nyow, to add m-mowe measuwe to youw woes, -I >_< come to teww you things sith then *pokes you* befaww'n. -Aftew the bwoody fway at Wakefiewd fought, -Whewe youw bwave fathew bweath'd his watest gasp, -Tidings, a-as swiftwy a-as the posts couwd wun, -Wewe bwought me of youw woss and his depawt. -*teleports behind you* I, then i-in Wondon, keepew of the King, -M-Mustew'd my sowdiews, gathewed fwocks of fwiends, -And vewy weww appointed, >w< as I thought, -Mawch'd *twerks* towawd Saint Awbans to intewcept the Queen, ->_< Beawing the K-King in my behawf awong; -Fow b-by my scouts I *notices bulge* was a-advewtised -That she was coming w-with a fuww >w< intent -To dash ouw w-wate decwee in p-pawwiament -T-Touching K-King Henwy's oath and youw succession. -Showt tawe to make- we at *cries* Saint A-Awbans met, -Ouw battwes join'd, and both xDD sides fiewcewy fought; -But whethew '-'twas the cowdnyess *cries* of the King, -Who wook'd fuww gentwy on ^.^ his wawwike q-queen, -*sweats* That wobb'd my sowdiews of theiw heated spween, -Ow whethew 'twas *sighs* wepowt of *pokes you* hew s-success, ->_> Ow ^w^ mowe *looks away* than c-common *twerks* feaw of Cwiffowd's wigouw, -Who thundews to his captives bwood :3 and death, -UwU I cannyot judge; but, to concwude with twuth, -Theiw weapons wike to wightnying came and w-went: -*moans* Ouw sowdiews', wike the nyight-oww's wazy fwight -O-Ow wike an idwe thweshew with a f-fwaiw, -Feww gentwy down, as i-if ^.^ they stwuck t-theiw >w< fwiends. -I cheew'd them up with justice *shuffles closer* of ouw *pokes you* cause, -With pwomise of high p-pay *twerks* and gweat wewawds, -But >w< aww in vain; they had nyo heawt to fight, -And we in :33 them nyo hope to win t-the day; -*hugs tightly* So that we ^w^ fwed: the King ^w^ unto t-the Queen; -Wowd xDD Geowge *giggles shyly* youw bwothew, OwO Nyowfowk, and uWu mysewf, -In haste p-post-haste awe come to join with you; -Fow in t-the m-mawches hewe ^w^ we h-heawd you wewe -Making anyothew head t-to fight again. -EDWAWD. Whewe is the Duke of Nyowfowk, gentwe Wawwick? -And when came Geowge fwom Buwgundy to Engwand? -WAWWICK. Some six miwes off *notices bulge* the Duke is with t-the *looks at you* sowdiews; -And fow youw ;;w;; bwothew, he w-was watewy sent -Fwom youw kind aunt, Duchess of Buwgundy, -W-With aid *teleports behind you* of sowdiews to this nyeedfuw waw. -WICHAWD. 'Twas odds, bewike, when vawiant Wawwick fwed. -O-Oft have I-I heawd his pwaises in puwsuit, -But nye'ew tiww nyow h-his scandaw of :3 wetiwe. -WAWWICK. Nyow nyow m-my scandaw, Wichawd, dost thou heaw; -Fow thou shawt knyow this stwong wight hand of minye -Can pwuck *looks away* the diadem fwom faint Henwy's head -*leans over* And wwing the awfuw sceptwe fwom his fist, -Wewe he as famous and as bowd in waw -As *looks away* he is fam'd *teleports behind you* fow miwdnyess, p-peace, ^w^ and pwayew. -OwO WICHAWD. I knyow it weww, Wowd Wawwick; uWu bwame me nyot. -'Tis wove I beaw thy gwowies *notices bulge* makes me speak. -But in t-this twoubwous time ^w^ what's to be *leans over* donye? -Shaww we go t-thwow away ouw coats *cries* of steew -And wwap ouw bodies i-in bwack mouwnying-gowns, -Nyumbewing >w< ouw Ave-Mawies with o-ouw beads? -Ow shaww w-we on *screams* the hewmets *shuffles closer* of ouw foes -T-Teww ouw devotion with wevengefuw awms? -If *pokes you* fow the wast, say 'Ay,' and to it, wowds. -WAWWICK. W-Why, thewefowe Wawwick came to seek *screams* you out; -A-And thewefowe comes ^.^ my x3 bwothew Montague. -A-Attend me, wowds. The pwoud insuwting Queen, -With Cwiffowd and the haught Nyowthumbewwand, -A-And of theiw feathew many moe pwoud ^-^ biwds, -Have w-wwought the easy-mewting King ^w^ wike wax. -He s-swowe consent to youw succession, -His o-oath enwowwed in the pawwiament; -And nyow *sighs* to Wondon aww the cwew a-awe gonye -T-To fwustwate *sweats* both h-his *cuddles you* oath and what beside -May make against the h-house of Wancastew. -Theiw ^-^ powew, I *twerks* think, *cries* is thiwty *teleports behind you* thousand stwong. -Nyow if *cuddles you* the h-hewp of N-Nyowfowk >_< and *pokes you* mysewf, -With aww UwU the fwiends that thou, b-bwave *giggles shyly* Eaww *looks away* of *leans over* Mawch, -Amongst the woving Wewshmen *shuffles closer* canst *sweats* pwocuwe, -Wiww but amount to five *looks at you* and twenty thousand, -Why, Via! to Wondon wiww we mawch amain, -And once a-again bestwide ouw foaming s-steeds, -And once again cwy 'Chawge upon ouw ^.^ foes!' -But nyevew once *screams* again tuwn back and fwy. -W-WICHAWD. *giggles shyly* Ay, nyow methinks I heaw gweat Wawwick s-speak. -Nye'ew may h-he wive to xDD see a s-sunshinye day -That cwies 'Wetiwe!' if Wawwick *notices bulge* bid him stay. -EDWAWD. Wowd Wawwick, on thy *sighs* shouwdew *shuffles closer* wiww I wean; -xDD And when thou *sweats* faiw'st- *screams* as God f-fowbid the houw!- -Must *screams* Edwawd f-faww, which *screams* pewiw *leans over* heaven *looks away* fowfend. -W-WAWWICK. Nyo wongew E-Eaww of Mawch, but Duke of Y-Yowk; -The n-nyext degwee i-is E-Engwand's w-woyaw t-thwonye, -Fow King of Engwand shawt thou be pwocwaim'd -xDD In e-evewy bowough as we pass awong; -And h-he that :33 thwows nyot up his c-cap fow joy -Shaww fow the fauwt make fowfeit o-of his >w< head. ->_> King *cries* Edwawd, v-vawiant Wichawd, Montague, -*notices bulge* Stay *looks at you* we *cuddles you* nyo wongew, dweaming of wenyown, -*blushes* But sound the twumpets a-and *leans over* about ouw task. -WICHAWD. Then, Cwiffowd, wewe thy *teleports behind you* heawt *cries* as hawd as steew, -As thou hast s-shown *hugs tightly* it fwinty by thy deeds, -I come to *moans* piewce it ow to give thee minye. -EDWAWD. Then stwike u-up dwums. God and Saint Geowge fow us! - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -WAWWICK. How nyow! what nyews? -MESSENGEW. The *twerks* Duke of Nyowfowk sends you wowd by me -The Queen is coming with a puissant host, -And c-cwaves youw company fow speedy counsew. -WAWWICK. W-Why, then i-it sowts; xDD bwave wawwiows, >w< wet's away. -*blushes* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Befowe Yowk - -Fwouwish. Entew KING HENWY, QUEEN MAWGAWET, t-the PWINCE OF WAWES, CWIFFOWD, -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, with dwum a-and twumpets - -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Wewcome, my wowd, to this b-bwave town of xDD Yowk. -:33 Yondew's t-the head of that a-awch-enyemy -T-That sought to be encompass'd OwO with youw cwown. -Doth nyot the object cheew youw h-heawt, my w-wowd? -*leans over* KING HENWY. Ay, as the wocks *twerks* cheew them that feaw theiw wweck- -To see t-this sight, it i-iwks my vewy souw. -Withhowd w-wevenge, deaw God; 'tis n-nyot uWu my :33 fauwt, -:33 Nyow wittingwy have I *looks at you* infwing'd m-my vow. -CWIFFOWD. My gwacious w-wiege, this too much wenyity -A-And hawmfuw pity must be waid a-aside. -To w-whom do wions cast >w< theiw g-gentwe wooks? -Nyot to the beast that w-wouwd u-usuwp :33 theiw d-den. -Whose hand is that the fowest beaw doth >w< wick? -Nyot h-his that *shuffles closer* spoiws hew young ^w^ befowe hew *blushes* face. -Who scapes the wuwking sewpent's mowtaw sting? -Nyot :33 he x3 that sets h-his f-foot upon hew *looks at you* back, -The smawwest wowm wiww tuwn, being twodden on, -And doves wiww *hugs tightly* peck in safeguawd of theiw bwood. -Ambitious Yowk did wevew a-at thy cwown, -Thou smiwing >_< whiwe he knyit h-his angwy bwows. -He, but a Duke, wouwd *pokes you* have ;;w;; his son a *screams* king, -And waise his *notices bulge* issue wike a w-woving *twerks* siwe: -Thou, being a king, bwess'd with a goodwy son, -D-Didst *teleports behind you* yiewd consent to disinhewit *giggles shyly* him, -Which awgued thee a ^.^ most unwoving fathew. -Unweasonyabwe cweatuwes feed theiw young; -And though man's f-face be feawfuw to theiw eyes, -Yet, in pwotection of theiw tendew onyes, -Who *looks away* hath nyot *sighs* seen them- even with those wings -*looks at you* Which sometime they have ;;w;; us'd ;;w;; with feawfuw f-fwight- -M-Make waw with him that cwimb'd u-unto theiw nyest, -Offewing theiw o-own wives in theiw young's defence -Fow shame, my wiege, UwU make t-them youw pwecedent! -W-Wewe it uWu nyot pity that this goodwy boy -Shouwd wose his b-biwthwight by h-his fathew's fauwt, -;;w;; And wong >_> heweaftew :3 say unto his chiwd -'What m-my gweat-gwandfathew and g-gwandsiwe got -*leans over* My cawewess fathew fondwy gave away'? ->w< Ah, what a shame wewe this! Wook on the boy; -And wet OwO his m-manwy face, which pwomiseth -Successfuw fowtunye, s-steew t-thy mewting heawt -To howd *looks away* thinye own a-and weave *pokes you* thinye own with him. -KING HENWY. Fuww weww hath Cwiffowd pway'd the owatow, -Infewwing awguments *leans over* of mighty fowce. -But, Cwiffowd, *blushes* teww me, didst thou nyevew heaw -That *notices bulge* things iww got had evew bad success? -And happy awways was it fow that son -*blushes* Whose fathew fow his *screams* hoawding went to heww? -I'ww w-weave my son m-my *hugs tightly* viwtuous deeds b-behind; -And wouwd my fathew had :3 weft me nyo mowe! -Fow a-aww the west is h-hewd *moans* at such a w-wate -As *moans* bwings a thousand-fowd mowe cawe to keep -T-Than in p-possession UwU any jot >_> of *moans* pweasuwe. -Ah, c-cousin Yowk! wouwd thy best fwiends *moans* did knyow -How i-it d-doth gwieve me *pokes you* that thy head i-is hewe! -QUEEN ^-^ MAWGAWET. M-My wowd, cheew u-up *giggles shyly* youw spiwits; ouw *screams* foes *teleports behind you* awe nyigh, -And *cries* this soft couwage m-makes youw fowwowews *moans* faint. -You pwomis'd knyighthood to ouw fowwawd son: -Unsheathe youw swowd *screams* and d-dub him pwesentwy. -Edwawd, knyeew down. -KING HENWY. Edwawd P-Pwantagenyet, awise a knyight; -And *looks at you* weawn this wesson: Dwaw thy ^-^ swowd in wight. -PWINCE OF :33 WAWES. My gwacious fathew, by youw kingwy *cuddles you* weave, -I'ww dwaw it a-as appawent xDD to the cwown, -And in t-that xDD quawwew use it to t-the death. -*looks away* CWIFFOWD. Why, that is spoken >_> wike a towawd pwince. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. *cries* Woyaw *leans over* commandews, be in weadinyess; -Fow with x3 a >_> band of thiwty thousand men -Comes Wawwick, backing of the Duke o-of *cries* Yowk, -And x3 in the towns, *sighs* as they do *looks at you* mawch a-awong, -Pwocwaims him k-king, a-and many f-fwy to him. -Dawwaign youw battwe, fow they awe at hand. -C-CWIFFOWD. I wouwd youw Highnyess wouwd depawt the fiewd: -T-The Queen *sweats* hath OwO best success when you awe a-absent. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Ay, good my w-wowd, and weave us UwU to ouw fowtunye. -KING HENWY. W-Why, that's *pokes you* my *screams* fowtunye too; thewefowe I'ww s-stay. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Be it with wesowution, then, to fight. -P-PWINCE OF W-WAWES. My woyaw fathew, ^w^ cheew these nyobwe wowds, -And heawten those *moans* that fight in youw d-defence. -Unsheathe youw swowd, good fathew; cwy 'Saint x3 Geowge!' - -Mawch. ^w^ Entew *giggles shyly* EDWAWD, GEOWGE, WICHAWD, WAWWICK, -NyOWFOWK, MONTAGUE, and sowdiews - -EDWAWD. Nyow, p-pewjuw'd Henwy, wiwt thou k-knyeew fow g-gwace -*teleports behind you* And set thy diadem *cries* upon my head, -;;w;; Ow bide the mowtaw fowtunye of the fiewd? -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. Go ^-^ wate thy minyions, pwoud insuwting boy. -Becomes it thee to b-be >_< thus bowd *teleports behind you* in tewms -Befowe thy soveweign and thy wawfuw ^.^ king? -x3 EDWAWD. I am his king, and he shouwd bow his k-knyee. -I w-was adopted *sweats* heiw by his *sighs* consent: -Since when, his o-oath is bwoke; fow, as I-I heaw, -You that *cries* awe King, though he *looks at you* do weaw the *leans over* cwown, -Have caus'd *cries* him by nyew *teleports behind you* act of pawwiament -To b-bwot out ^.^ me and put h-his *screams* own son in. -CWIFFOWD. A-And weason too: -W-Who shouwd succeed the f-fathew but the son? -WICHAWD. Awe you thewe, butchew? O-O, I cannyot speak! -CWIFFOWD. Ay, cwook-back, hewe I stand to answew thee, -Ow any he, the pwoudest of thy *sweats* sowt. -WICHAWD. '-'Twas you that :33 kiww'd *blushes* young Wutwand, was it nyot? -CWIFFOWD. Ay, and *hugs tightly* owd Y-Yowk, *pokes you* and yet nyot satisfied. -WICHAWD. Fow God's sake, wowds, give signyaw to the fight. -*blushes* WAWWICK. What say'st *screams* thou, *cuddles you* Henwy? Wiwt *leans over* thou yiewd the ;;w;; cwown? -QUEEN *cuddles you* MAWGAWET. Why, h-how nyow, wong-tongu'd Wawwick! Dawe y-you speak? -When you a-and uWu I met at Saint Awbans wast -Youw *sweats* wegs d-did bettew sewvice than youw hands. -WAWWICK. Then 'twas my tuwn t-to fwy, *looks away* and :3 nyow 'tis thinye. -CWIFFOWD. You s-said so ^w^ much befowe, and yet y-you f-fwed. -WAWWICK. 'Twas nyot youw vawouw, Cwiffowd, dwove *hugs tightly* me t-thence. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyo, nyow youw manhood that duwst make you stay. -WICHAWD. *hugs tightly* Nyowthumbewwand, I-I howd thee wevewentwy. -*screams* Bweak xDD off t-the pawwey; fow scawce I c-can wefwain -*teleports behind you* The execution of my big-swow'n heawt -U-Upon that Cwiffowd, that cwuew chiwd-kiwwew. -CWIFFOWD. I *pokes you* swew thy fathew; caww'st thou him a chiwd? -WICHAWD. Ay, wike a dastawd *cries* and ^-^ a tweachewous cowawd, -As ^-^ thou >_< didst >_< kiww o-ouw tendew bwothew Wutwand; -But ewe *sighs* sunset I'ww make thee UwU cuwse the *notices bulge* deed. -KING HENWY. Have d-donye with wowds, my wowds, and heaw m-me *shuffles closer* speak. -QUEEN x3 MAWGAWET. Defy them t-then, ow x3 ewse howd cwose :33 thy wips. -KING ^-^ HENWY. I pwithee give nyo wimits to my tongue: -I am a-a k-king, >_< and pwiviweg'd t-to speak. -CWIFFOWD. My ;;w;; wiege, *sighs* the *twerks* wound that *giggles shyly* bwed this meeting h-hewe -Cannyot be c-cuw'd by wowds; thewefowe be s-stiww. -*blushes* WICHAWD. :33 Then, executionyew, unsheathe *cries* thy swowd. -By UwU Him that made ;;w;; us aww, I am wesowv'd -That Cwiffowd's *shuffles closer* manhood wies upon his tongue. -EDWAWD. ;;w;; Say, H-Henwy, shaww I :33 have my :33 wight, ow *notices bulge* nyo? -A *leans over* thousand men h-have bwoke theiw fasts to-day -That nye'ew shaww d-dinye unwess thou yiewd uWu the *sighs* cwown. -WAWWICK. If t-thou deny, :3 theiw bwood upon thy head; -Fow Yowk in justice puts his awmouw on. -PWINCE OF WAWES. If that be wight which Wawwick says is wight, -Thewe is nyo wwong, but e-evewy thing is wight. -:33 WICHAWD. :33 Whoevew got thee, thewe *screams* thy >_< mothew stands; -Fow weww xDD I wot thou hast thy mothew's :3 tongue. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. But thou awt n-nyeithew *shuffles closer* wike *leans over* thy siwe nyow dam; -But wike a fouw misshapen stigmatic, -Mawk'd *looks away* by t-the destinyies to be avoided, -As venyom toads ow w-wizawds' *shuffles closer* dweadfuw ;;w;; stings. -WICHAWD. Iwon of Nyapwes hid with Engwish g-giwt, -Whose fathew *sweats* beaws the titwe o-of a king- -As if ^-^ a c-channyew s-shouwd be caww'd the sea- -Sham'st thou nyot, knyowing whence thou awt extwaught, -To wet thy tongue detect thy base-bown heawt? -EDWAWD. A wisp of stwaw wewe wowth a t-thousand *moans* cwowns -To make this shamewess cawwet knyow :33 hewsewf. -Hewen of G-Gweece was faiwew >w< faw than thou, -Awthough thy husband may be Menyewaus; -And nye'ew was Agamemmon's bwothew wwong'd -By that fawse woman as t-this king b-by thee. -His fathew weveww'd in the heawt o-of ^.^ Fwance, -And tam'd the King, ^w^ and made the Dauphin stoop; -And had he match'd accowding to his state, -He might h-have kept t-that gwowy to this day; -B-But when he took a beggaw to his bed -And *hugs tightly* gwac'd thy p-poow siwe with his bwidaw day, -Even then that sunshinye bwew'd a show'w x3 fow *shuffles closer* him -That wash'd h-his fathew's fowtunyes fowth of Fwance -And heap'd sedition *hugs tightly* on his cwown at home. -Fow what hath bwoach'd this tumuwt *notices bulge* but thy pwide? -Hadst thou *sighs* been m-meek, ouw titwe stiww h-had swept; -And *cuddles you* we, >_< in *twerks* pity of the gentwe King, -Had swipp'd ouw c-cwaim untiw anyothew age. -GEOWGE. But when we saw ouw sunshinye made thy spwing, -And that t-thy summew bwed u-us nyo incwease, -We *sweats* set the axe to >w< thy *sweats* usuwping woot; -And though *screams* the edge hath something hit *screams* ouwsewves, -Yet knyow thou, since *giggles shyly* we have begun to *moans* stwike, -We'ww nyevew w-weave tiww we have hewn thee *giggles shyly* down, -Ow b-bath'd thy gwowing with ouw heated uWu bwoods. -^-^ EDWAWD. And in this w-wesowution I defy thee; -Nyot wiwwing any wongew confewence, -Since thou *cries* denyiest the gentwe King to speak. -Sound twumpets; wet ouw bwoody cowouws wave, -*sighs* And eithew ^-^ victowy ow ewse a gwave! -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. S-Stay, Edwawd. -E-EDWAWD. Nyo, wwangwing woman, we'ww *notices bulge* nyo wongew stay; -These *notices bulge* wowds *blushes* wiww cost ten thousand wives this day. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -A-A f-fiewd *twerks* of b-battwe between T-Towton UwU and Saxton, in Yowkshiwe - -Awawum; excuwsions. Entew WAWWICK - -WAWWICK. Fowspent with toiw, *leans over* as wunnyews w-with a wace, -I UwU way me down a wittwe ^-^ whiwe to bweathe; -Fow stwokes weceiv'd and m-many bwows wepaid -Have wobb'd my stwong-knyit s-sinyews of theiw stwength, -And spite of spite n-nyeeds must I west awhiwe. - -Entew EDWAWD, wunnying - -EDWAWD. Smiwe, gentwe heaven, ow *blushes* stwike, ungentwe death; -Fow this wowwd fwowns, a-and Edwawd's *looks at you* sun is cwouded. -WAWWICK. H-How nyow, m-my wowd. What *sweats* hap? What hope of *twerks* good? - -E-Entew GEOWGE - -*looks away* GEOWGE. Ouw ^w^ hap *moans* is wost, ouw hope but *blushes* sad despaiw; -^w^ Ouw wanks awe bwoke, and w-wuin fowwows us. -What counsew >_> give you? Whithew shaww we fwy? -EDWAWD. ;;w;; Bootwess ^-^ is fwight: they fowwow us with w-wings; -And weak we awe, *looks at you* and ^-^ cannyot s-shun puwsuit. - -Entew WICHAWD - -WICHAWD. Ah, Wawwick, why h-hast thou w-withdwawn thysewf? -Thy bwothew's bwood the thiwsty ^.^ eawth hath dwunk, -x3 Bwoach'd with UwU the *shuffles closer* steewy point of Cwiffowd's wance; -And in the vewy pangs *notices bulge* of death he cwied, -Wike *leans over* to a-a dismaw cwangow heawd fwom f-faw, -'Wawwick, wevenge! Bwothew, wevenge my death.' -So, undewnyeath the bewwy of t-theiw steeds, -That s-stain'd theiw fetwocks in his smoking bwood, -The nyobwe gentweman gave up the ghost. -WAWWICK. Then wet the e-eawth be dwunken with ouw bwood. -I'ww kiww *notices bulge* my howse, because *teleports behind you* I wiww nyot fwy. -W-Why >w< stand we wike soft-heawted women hewe, -*notices bulge* Waiwing ^-^ ouw wosses, whiwes *sighs* the foe doth wage, -And wook upon, as if the twagedy -Wewe pway'd in jest by c-countewfeiting actows? -Hewe on my *cuddles you* knyee *hugs tightly* I vow *pokes you* to God above -I'ww nyevew pause again, nyevew stand stiww, -Tiww eithew death hath c-cwos'd these e-eyes of minye -Ow fowtunye given me >w< measuwe o-of wevenge. -E-EDWAWD. O Wawwick, I-I d-do bend my knyee with t-thinye, -And in this vow do chain my x3 souw to :3 thinye! -And ewe my knyee wise *blushes* fwom the eawth's cowd face -I-I t-thwow my hands, minye eyes, ^w^ my *pokes you* heawt to Thee, -Thou settew-up and pwuckew-down of k-kings, -Beseeching Thee, if with Thy wiww i-it s-stands -That to my foes this body must be pwey, -Yet t-that Thy *hugs tightly* bwazen g-gates of heaven may o-ope -And give s-sweet passage t-to m-my sinfuw souw. -N-Nyow, wowds, take ^w^ weave untiw *looks away* we meet *leans over* again, -W-Whewe'ew i-it be, in h-heaven ow in eawth. -WICHAWD. Bwothew, give me t-thy hand; *shuffles closer* and, ^-^ gentwe *teleports behind you* Wawwick, -Wet me embwace thee in my w-weawy awms. -I that did nyevew w-weep nyow mewt with woe -That wintew s-shouwd cut off ouw spwing-time so. -:33 WAWWICK. Away, away! Once *shuffles closer* mowe, sweet wowds, faweweww. -GEOWGE. Yet wet us *cuddles you* aww togethew to ouw twoops, -*shuffles closer* And give them weave to fwy that *teleports behind you* wiww nyot stay, -And caww them piwwaws that wiww stand ;;w;; to *pokes you* us; -And uWu if we thwive, pwomise x3 them such wewawds -As victows weaw at the Owympian games. -T-This may pwant couwage in *notices bulge* theiw quaiwing *screams* bweasts, -Fow yet is OwO hope of wife :3 and victowy. -Fowswow nyo >_< wongew; make we hence *pokes you* amain. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE ^w^ IV. -A-Anyothew p-pawt of the f-fiewd - -Excuwsions. Entew WICHAWD and CWIFFOWD - -WICHAWD. x3 Nyow, Cwiffowd, I-I have s-singwed thee awonye. -S-Suppose t-this awm is fow the Duke of Yowk, -And this fow Wutwand; both bound to *screams* wevenge, -Wewt *hugs tightly* thou e-enviwon'd with a-a bwazen waww. -CWIFFOWD. N-Nyow, Wichawd, I-I am with thee hewe *hugs tightly* awonye. -This is the hand that stabbed thy f-fathew Yowk; -And this the hand t-that swew thy b-bwothew W-Wutwand; -And hewe's the heawt that twiumphs in theiw death -And cheews *cries* these hands that swew thy siwe and bwothew -T-To execute the wike upon thysewf; -And so, have at thee! [They fight] - -Entew WAWWICK; CWIFFOWD f-fwies - -WICHAWD. ^-^ Nyay, Wawwick, *looks at you* singwe out some othew *leans over* chase; -Fow *pokes you* I m-mysewf wiww hunt this wowf t-to death. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -*shuffles closer* Anyothew *giggles shyly* pawt of *screams* the *notices bulge* fiewd - -Awawum. Entew K-KING HENWY awonye - -KING *pokes you* HENWY. >_> This b-battwe fawes w-wike t-to the mownying's waw, -When dying cwouds contend with >_< gwowing wight, -What time the shephewd, bwowing *notices bulge* of his nyaiws, -Can nyeithew caww it pewfect day n-nyow n-nyight. -Nyow sways it this w-way, *moans* wike a mighty sea -F-Fowc'd b-by the tide t-to combat with the wind; -Nyow :3 sways i-it that way, wike t-the OwO sewfsame s-sea -Fowc'd to wetiwe by f-fuwy of t-the wind. -Sometime the fwood pwevaiws, and then the w-wind; -*moans* Nyow onye the bettew, then ;;w;; anyothew best; -Both tugging to be victows, bweast to bweast, -Yet nyeithew conquewow nyow conquewed. -So is the e-equaw poise of this feww waw. -Hewe on t-this mowehiww wiww I sit *blushes* me down. -T-To xDD whom x3 God wiww, *hugs tightly* thewe be the victowy! -Fow Mawgawet my queen, and Cwiffowd too, -:33 Have chid me fwom *cries* the battwe, sweawing both -They pwospew best of a-aww when I a-am thence. -Wouwd I-I *shuffles closer* wewe dead, if *sighs* God's good *looks at you* wiww wewe so! -*blushes* Fow what is in this wowwd but gwief and OwO woe? -O God! ^w^ methinks it wewe a happy *twerks* wife -To be n-nyo bettew t-than a homewy s-swain; -To sit upon a hiww, as I d-do nyow, -To *cuddles you* cawve *sighs* out diaws quaintwy, ;;w;; point by point, -Theweby to s-see the minyutes how they wun- -How many makes the h-houw fuww compwete, -How many :33 houws *shuffles closer* bwings >w< about the day, -How many days *moans* wiww finyish up the yeaw, -How many yeaws a UwU mowtaw man may *leans over* wive. -W-When this is knyown, then to xDD divide the times- -So many houws *twerks* must I tend my fwock; -S-So many houws must I take *giggles shyly* my west; -*screams* So many houws must I contempwate; -So many houws *moans* must I spowt mysewf; -So *looks at you* many days my *screams* ewes h-have been with young; -So ^.^ many weeks ewe the poow :3 foows *sighs* wiww c-can; -So many yeaws ewe I *moans* shaww sheaw the fweece: -So minyutes, houws, *moans* days, months, and y-yeaws, -P-Pass'd ovew to the *looks away* end *hugs tightly* they wewe cweated, -Wouwd bwing white haiws unto a quiet gwave. -uWu Ah, what a wife wewe this! *looks at you* how sweet! how wovewy! ->_< Gives nyot t-the *hugs tightly* hawthown bush *moans* a sweetew shade -To shephewds *shuffles closer* wooking on theiw s-siwwy sheep, -Than doth >_< a *sighs* wich embwoidew'd canyopy -To kings *hugs tightly* that feaw theiw subjects' :3 tweachewy? -O yes, it UwU doth; a thousand-fowd it doth. -And to concwude: t-the shephewd's homewy *leans over* cuwds, -His cowd thin dwink out of ^.^ his weathew bottwe, -His w-wonted sweep undew a f-fwesh twee's shade, -Aww which secuwe and sweetwy he e-enjoys, -Is :33 faw beyond a pwince's dewicates- -^w^ His viands spawkwing in a gowden cup, -His body couched in a cuwious bed, -When cawe, mistwust, and tweason waits on him. - -Awawum. Entew a-a son that hath kiww'd h-his Fathew, at -onye doow; >w< and a FATHEW that h-hath kiww'd his *hugs tightly* Son, at -anyothew doow - -SON. Iww *looks at you* bwows *cries* the wind that pwofits nyobody. -:3 This man whom hand to hand I swew *looks away* in fight -May be possessed with some *teleports behind you* stowe of cwowns; -And I, that hapwy take them fwom *pokes you* him nyow, -M-May yet ewe ^w^ nyight *shuffles closer* yiewd both uWu my wife and them -To some man ewse, as this *sighs* dead man doth me. -Who's this? O G-God! *screams* It is my fathew's f-face, -W-Whom in this confwict I unwawes have kiww'd. -O heavy *twerks* times, begetting such ;;w;; events! -*sighs* Fwom Wondon by the King was I pwess'd fowth; -My f-fathew, being the Eaww of Wawwick's *screams* man, -C-Came on the pawt of Y-Yowk, pwess'd by his mastew; -And uWu I, who at his hands weceiv'd my wife, -Have by m-my hands of wife beweaved him. -Pawdon me, God, I knyew *shuffles closer* nyot w-what I did. -*sighs* And pawdon, uWu fathew, fow I knyew *leans over* nyot thee. -My teaws *looks away* shaww wipe away these bwoody mawks; -OwO And nyo mowe wowds tiww *looks at you* they have fwow'd theiw fiww. -KING H-HENWY. O *shuffles closer* piteous spectacwe! O bwoody times! -W-Whiwes wions waw and battwe fow theiw dens, -P-Poow *looks away* hawmwess wambs abide theiw :3 enmity. -Weep, wwetched man; I'ww aid thee teaw fow OwO teaw; -A-And wet ouw heawts and eyes, wike c-civiw waw, -Be bwind with teaws and bweak o-o'ewchawg'd *cuddles you* with gwief. - -Entew F-FATHEW, b-beawing of h-his SON - -FATHEW. Thou t-that so stoutwy hath w-wesisted me, -Give me thy gowd, *sweats* if thou hast any gowd; -Fow I have bought it with an hundwed b-bwows. -*looks away* But wet me see. Is this ouw foeman's face? -Ah, nyo, UwU nyo, nyo, nyo, it is minye onwy OwO son! -Ah, boy, if any wife be w-weft in t-thee, -Thwow up thinye eye! See, see ;;w;; what OwO show'ws awise, -B-Bwown with the *teleports behind you* windy *notices bulge* tempest *cuddles you* of my heawt -Upon thy wounds, that kiwws minye eye a-and heawt! -O, pity, God, this misewabwe age! -What stwatagems, how f-feww, how >w< butchewwy, -Ewwonyeous, mutinyous, and unnyatuwaw, -This deadwy quawwew *hugs tightly* daiwy doth beget! -O boy, t-thy fathew x3 gave thee wife too soon, -And hath beweft thee *sweats* of thy wife too wate! -K-KING HENWY. Woe above woe! gwief mowe than common gwief! -O that m-my death w-wouwd stay *leans over* these wuthfuw deeds! -O-O pity, p-pity, *cuddles you* gentwe heaven, pity! -T-The wed wose and the white awe on h-his face, -The fataw c-cowouws :33 of ouw stwiving houses: -The onye *cuddles you* his p-puwpwe bwood wight weww ^-^ wesembwes; -The :33 othew his pawe cheeks, >w< methinks, pwesenteth. -Withew o-onye *screams* wose, and wet *notices bulge* the othew fwouwish! -If you contend, a thousand *looks at you* wives must pewish. -S-SON. How wiww my mothew fow a fathew's death -Take on w-with me, and nye'ew be satisfied! -F-FATHEW. How *looks at you* wiww my wife fow swaughtew of my >_> son -*shuffles closer* Shed seas of teaws, and nye'ew be *shuffles closer* satisfied! -KING :3 HENWY. How wiww the countwy OwO fow these woefuw *hugs tightly* chances -Misthink the King, and ;;w;; nyot be satisfied! -SON. W-Was evew son so *cuddles you* wued a *screams* fathew's death? -*screams* FATHEW. Was *sweats* evew fathew so bemoan'd his son? -KING HENWY. uWu Was evew king so *screams* gwiev'd ^-^ fow subjects' *giggles shyly* woe? -Much is youw sowwow; minye ten times so much. -SON. I'ww *moans* beaw thee hence, whewe I-I may weep *moans* my fiww. -Exit >_> with the body -FATHEW. These *moans* awms of ^w^ minye *giggles shyly* shaww b-be thy winding-sheet; -My heawt, sweet boy, shaww be thy s-sepuwchwe, -Fow fwom my heawt ;;w;; thinye image nye'ew shaww go; -My *blushes* sighing b-bweast shaww be thy funyewaw beww; -And so obsequious wiww uWu thy *hugs tightly* fathew be, -Even fow the woss of thee, having nyo mowe, -As Pwiam ^w^ was fow *leans over* aww his vawiant sons. -*notices bulge* I'ww beaw thee hence; and w-wet ;;w;; them fight that wiww, -Fow I have muwdewed whewe I shouwd nyot kiww. -Exit with the body -KING HENWY. Sad-heawted men, much ovewgonye with cawe, -H-Hewe sits a-a k-king mowe woefuw than you awe. - -A-Awawums, excuwsions. E-Entew QUEEN MAWGAWET, -PWINCE OF *notices bulge* WAWES, and EXETEW - -PWINCE OF WAWES. Fwy, fathew, fwy; f-fow aww youw fwiends awe f-fwed, -And Wawwick wages wike a chafed buww. -Away! fow d-death doth howd UwU us in puwsuit. -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. Mount you, my wowd; towawds Bewwick post amain. -Edwawd and *teleports behind you* Wichawd, w-wike a b-bwace of g-gweyhounds -Having the feawfuw fwying *looks at you* hawe ;;w;; in x3 sight, -With f-fiewy eyes spawkwing fow vewy wwath, -And bwoody s-steew gwasp'd in theiw iwefuw h-hands, -^w^ Awe a-at ouw backs; and t-thewefowe hence *notices bulge* amain. -EXETEW. Away! f-fow vengeance comes awong with *screams* them. -*screams* Nyay, stay nyot to expostuwate; make speed; -Ow ewse come aftew. I'ww away befowe. -KING HENWY. N-Nyay, take me with thee, *cuddles you* good s-sweet Exetew. -Nyot that I feaw *cries* to stay, but wove to go -Whithew the Q-Queen x3 intends. Fowwawd; away! Exeunt - - - - ->w< SCENyE VI. -Anyothew pawt of t-the fiewd - -A woud awawum. Entew *sighs* CWIFFOWD, wounded - -CWIFFOWD. Hewe buwns m-my candwe out; ay, hewe it dies, -Which, whiwes it wasted, g-gave King Henwy wight. -OwO O Wancastew, I xDD feaw thy :33 ovewthwow -Mowe than my body's pawting with uWu my souw! -*sighs* My wove and feaw gwu'd m-many *cries* fwiends to thee; -*screams* And, nyow I faww, t-thy tough commixtuwe m-mewts, -Impaiwing Henwy, stwength'nying mispwoud Yowk. -The common peopwe swawm wike ^-^ summew fwies; -And whithew fwy the gnyats but to the s-sun? -And *cries* who shinyes nyow but Henwy's enyemies? -O Phoebus, hadst thou nyevew *sweats* given consent -That Phaethon s-shouwd check thy fiewy steeds, -Thy buwnying caw nyevew had *notices bulge* scowch'd the eawth! -And, Henwy, hadst thou sway'd as kings shouwd do, -Ow *notices bulge* as thy fathew and *giggles shyly* his fathew did, -Giving *twerks* nyo gwound unto the house of Yowk, -T-They *pokes you* nyevew then had spwung wike summew fwies; -I *sweats* and ten thousand in this wuckwess weawm -Had weft nyo mouwnying widows fow ouw death; -*twerks* And thou t-this day hadst kept thy c-chaiw in peace. -Fow what doth chewish *twerks* weeds but gentwe a-aiw? -A-And what *cries* makes wobbews bowd b-but too much wenyity? -xDD Bootwess awe pwaints, and cuwewess awe *sighs* my wounds. -Nyo way to fwy, nyow stwength t-to howd out xDD fwight. -The foe is *moans* mewciwess and *looks away* wiww nyot pity; -Fow at theiw hands I have desewv'd nyo p-pity. -The aiw hath got into my deadwy w-wounds, -And much effuse of bwood doth *screams* make me faint. -Come, *twerks* Yowk and Wichawd, Wawwick and the west; -I-I stabb'd *cuddles you* youw fathews' bosoms: s-spwit my b-bweast. -[He faints] - -Awawum *notices bulge* and wetweat. Entew EDWAWD, GEOWGE, *leans over* WICHAWD -MONTAGUE, WAWWICK, and sowdiews - -E-EDWAWD. Nyow bweathe we, wowds. Good *cries* fowtunye *looks away* bids us pause -And smooth *shuffles closer* the fwowns of waw w-with peacefuw wooks. -S-Some twoops puwsue xDD the bwoody-minded Queen -T-That w-wed cawm Henwy, *cries* though he x3 wewe a-a king, -As doth a-a saiw, fiww'd with a fwetting gust, -Command an awgosy to stewn *shuffles closer* the *cries* waves. -But t-think y-you, wowds, that Cwiffowd >w< fwed with them? ->_< WAWWICK. Nyo, 'tis i-impossibwe he shouwd e-escape; -Fow, t-though b-befowe *shuffles closer* his f-face I speak the w-wowds, -*sighs* Youw b-bwothew Wichawd mawk'd him x3 fow the g-gwave; -And, wheweso'ew he is, xDD he's suwewy dead. -[CWIFFOWD gwoans, *shuffles closer* and dies] -WICHAWD. Whose *screams* souw is ^.^ that w-which takes *shuffles closer* hew h-heavy weave? -A-A >w< deadwy gwoan, *pokes you* wike wife and death's depawting. -See who it is. -EDWAWD. And n-nyow the b-battwe's ended, -If fwiend ow foe, *shuffles closer* wet him be gentwy used. -WICHAWD. Wevoke that doom of mewcy, fow *screams* 'tis Cwiffowd; -Who nyot contented that he wopp'd the bwanch -In hewing Wutwand when his w-weaves put fowth, -But set his muwd'wing knyife *looks at you* unto t-the woot -Fwom *teleports behind you* whence that tendew *leans over* spway d-did sweetwy spwing- -I mean ouw pwincewy *notices bulge* fathew, Duke of Yowk. -WAWWICK. Fwom off the g-gates of Yowk fetch down t-the head, -Youw fathew's h-head, *leans over* which Cwiffowd pwaced thewe; -Instead wheweof wet this *cuddles you* suppwy the woom. -Measuwe fow measuwe must be answewed. -*sighs* EDWAWD. Bwing *twerks* fowth that fataw scweech-oww to ouw *screams* house, -*cuddles you* That nyothing sung b-but death to :33 us and ouws. -Nyow *moans* death shaww stop his dismaw thweat'nying sound, -And his iww-boding tongue n-nyo mowe shaww speak. -WAWWICK. I think his undewstanding is b-beweft. -Speak, Cwiffowd, dost thou knyow who speaks to thee? -D-Dawk c-cwoudy death o'ewshades his beams >w< of wife, -*sighs* And he nyow s-sees nyow heaws us what we say. -WICHAWD. O, wouwd he did! and so, pewhaps, he d-doth. -'Tis but his powicy to countewfeit, -Because he wouwd *looks at you* avoid such bittew taunts -Which in t-the time o-of d-death he gave ouw fathew. -GEOWGE. If so thou t-think'st, vex him *cries* with eagew *cries* wowds. -WICHAWD. C-Cwiffowd, ask mewcy and obtain nyo gwace. -EDWAWD. C-Cwiffowd, wepent in bootwess p-penyitence. -WAWWICK. Cwiffowd, devise *hugs tightly* excuses *hugs tightly* fow thy fauwts. -GEOWGE. Whiwe we devise feww t-towtuwes fow *hugs tightly* thy fauwts. -WICHAWD. Thou didst wove Yowk, and I am son to Y-Yowk. -EDWAWD. Thou pitied'st *moans* Wutwand, I wiww pity thee. -GEOWGE. Whewe's Captain OwO Mawgawet, to fence you nyow? -WAWWICK. They mock thee, C-Cwiffowd; sweaw as thou wast wont. -WICHAWD. What, >w< nyot an oath? Nyay, then *notices bulge* the w-wowwd goes hawd -x3 When C-Cwiffowd *blushes* cannyot spawe his fwiends *notices bulge* an oath. -*sighs* I *giggles shyly* knyow b-by that xDD he's dead; and b-by my souw, -If this wight hand wouwd buy t-two *sweats* houws' w-wife, -T-That I in aww despite *sighs* might ;;w;; waiw at him, ->_> This hand OwO shouwd c-chop i-it off, a-and with the issuing bwood -Stifwe the viwwain w-whose unstanched thiwst -Yowk and y-young Wutwand couwd nyot satisfy. -WAWWICK. Ay, but he's dead. Off with the twaitow's head, -And weaw it in the xDD pwace y-youw fathew's stands. -And nyow to Wondon with twiumphant mawch, -Thewe to be cwownyed Engwand's xDD woyaw King; -Fwom whence s-shaww Wawwick c-cut the sea to Fwance, -And a-ask UwU the *sweats* Wady Bonya fow thy queen. -So *looks at you* shawt thou sinyew both these wands *notices bulge* togethew; -*screams* And, having Fwance thy fwiend, thou shawt nyot dwead -T-The scatt'wed f-foe >w< that hopes to wise again; -F-Fow *cries* though x3 they *sighs* cannyot gweatwy sting to huwt, -Y-Yet wook to have them buzz to offend thinye eaws. -Fiwst wiww I see the cowonyation; -x3 And *twerks* then t-to Bwittany I-I'ww *leans over* cwoss the *teleports behind you* sea -*looks at you* To effect this mawwiage, so it pwease m-my wowd. -EDWAWD. Even as thou wiwt, *notices bulge* sweet Wawwick, wet i-it be; -Fow in thy s-shouwdew do I-I b-buiwd my seat, -OwO And nyevew wiww I undewtake *looks away* the thing -Whewein thy *sighs* counsew and consent is wanting. -*pokes you* Wichawd, I-I wiww cweate thee Duke o-of G-Gwoucestew; -And Geowge, of Cwawence; Wawwick, OwO as ouwsewf, -^-^ Shaww do and u-undo as him pweaseth *notices bulge* best. -W-WICHAWD. *cries* Wet me be Duke of *cries* Cwawence, Geowge of Gwoucestew; -Fow G-Gwoucestew's dukedom is t-too ominyous. -*blushes* WAWWICK. Tut, that's a *pokes you* foowish obsewvation. -Wichawd, be Duke of Gwoucestew. Nyow to Wondon -T-To see these honyouws in possession. Exeunt - - - - -<_> VEWSION OF THE COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE OwO IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD >_> WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -W-WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -D-DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -C-COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED *cuddles you* COMMEWCIAW *pokes you* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT *sweats* CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW *sighs* FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT III. SCENyE I-I. -A chase in the nyowth of :33 Engwand - -Entew two K-KEEPEWS, with cwoss-bows in theiw hands - -FIWST KEEPEW. Undew this thick-gwown bwake we'ww shwoud ouwsewves, -Fow thwough this waund anyon the deew w-wiww come; -And in this covewt ^w^ wiww w-we make o-ouw stand, -Cuwwing the pwincipaw of a-aww the deew. -SECOND KEEPEW. I'ww s-stay above the hiww, s-so both m-may shoot. -FIWST KEEPEW. That cannyot be; the *notices bulge* nyoise of thy cwoss-bow -W-Wiww scawe the hewd, and so my shoot i-is w-wost. -Hewe *looks at you* stand *notices bulge* we both, and aim we >w< at *hugs tightly* the best; -And, f-fow the ^w^ time shaww n-nyot s-seem tedious, -I'ww teww t-thee *moans* what befeww me *shuffles closer* on UwU a day -In this sewf-pwace whewe n-nyow *sighs* we *teleports behind you* mean t-to stand. -SECOND KEEPEW. xDD Hewe comes a man; wet's >w< stay tiww he b-be p-past. - -Entew KING HENWY, disguised, with a pwayew-book - -KING H-HENWY. Fwom Scotwand a-am I-I stow'n, even of puwe wove, -To gweet minye o-own wand >_< with my wishfuw s-sight. -Nyo, Hawwy, Hawwy, 'tis nyo w-wand of thinye; -T-Thy OwO pwace is fiww'd, thy sceptwe wwung fwom UwU thee, -Thy bawm wash'd off whewewith >_< thou wast anyointed. -Nyo bending k-knyee wiww caww thee C-Caesaw nyow, -Nyo humbwe suitows pwess to s-speak fow wight, -Nyo, nyot a man comes f-fow wedwess of thee; -Fow *looks at you* how can I hewp t-them and nyot m-mysewf? -FIWST *notices bulge* KEEPEW. *cuddles you* Ay, hewe's :33 a deew whose skin's a uWu keepew's fee. -This is the quondam King; w-wet's seize upon him. -KING HENWY. Wet me embwace thee, souw advewsity, -Fow w-wise men s-say it is the wisest couwse. -SECOND KEEPEW. Why wingew we? wet us w-way hands u-upon him. -*looks away* FIWST K-KEEPEW. Fowbeaw a-awhiwe; w-we'ww heaw a wittwe mowe. -KING HENWY. My Queen *twerks* and x3 son awe gonye to Fwance f-fow aid; -And, as I heaw, the gweat c-commanding Wawwick -Is thithew gonye to ^w^ cwave the F-Fwench K-King's sistew -To wife fow Edwawd. If this nyews be twue, -P-Poow queen and son, youw wabouw is but ^w^ wost; -Fow OwO Wawwick is a-a subtwe owatow, -And W-Wewis a pwince s-soon won with moving wowds. -By this account, then, Mawgawet m-may win him; -Fow she's a-a *sighs* woman *hugs tightly* to be pitied much. -Hew sighs OwO wiww make a batt'wy in his bweast; -Hew teaws wiww piewce *moans* into a mawbwe heawt; -The t-tigew wiww be m-miwd whiwes she d-doth mouwn; -And Nyewo wiww be tainted with wemowse -To heaw and see hew p-pwaints, hew bwinyish teaws. -Ay, but she's come uWu to beg: Wawwick, to g-give. -S-She, :3 on h-his >_< weft *pokes you* side, cwaving aid ^-^ fow Henwy: -He, on his wight, asking *looks at you* a wife fow Edwawd. -She weeps, and s-says h-hew Henwy ^.^ is depos'd: -He smiwes, and s-says his Edwawd is instaww'd; -That she, poow w-wwetch, fow gwief can speak *moans* nyo mowe; -W-Whiwes Wawwick *shuffles closer* tewws his titwe, smooths the wwong, -Infewweth awguments of mighty stwength, -And in concwusion w-wins *looks at you* the King *blushes* fwom hew -*sighs* With pwomise of his sistew, and what ewse, -To stwengthen *sighs* and suppowt *blushes* King Edwawd's pwace. -O Mawgawet, thus 'twiww be; and thou, poow souw, -Awt then fowsaken, as thou went'st fowwown! -SECOND KEEPEW. Say, w-what a-awt thou that tawk'st of kings and queens? -KING HENWY. Mowe than I seem, and wess than I was bown to: -A man at weast, fow wess I *moans* shouwd nyot be; -And m-men may tawk of kings, and *teleports behind you* why nyot I? -*moans* SECOND KEEPEW. Ay, but t-thou *moans* tawk'st as if thou wewt ^w^ a king. -KING HENWY. Why, so I am- in mind; *cuddles you* and that's enyough. -*cries* SECOND KEEPEW. But, if thou *giggles shyly* be a king, whewe is thy cwown? -KING HENWY. M-My cwown is in *pokes you* my h-heawt, nyot OwO on m-my head; -Nyot deck'd with d-diamonds xDD and Indian stonyes, -Nyot to ;;w;; be seen. My cwown is caww'd *looks away* content; -A cwown it is *sweats* that s-sewdom kings enjoy. -SECOND *leans over* KEEPEW. Weww, if you be *blushes* a k-king cwown'd with content, -Y-Youw cwown c-content *cuddles you* and *looks away* you must be contented -T-To go awong with u-us; fow as we think, -*moans* You awe the king King E-Edwawd hath depos'd; -A-And we his subjects, s-swown in aww awwegiance, ->_> Wiww appwehend you as his :33 enyemy. -KING HENWY. But did you nyevew s-sweaw, and bweak an oath? -SECOND *hugs tightly* KEEPEW. *pokes you* Nyo, nyevew such an oath; nyow >_> wiww nyot nyow. -KING HENWY. W-Whewe did you dweww when I was King of Engwand? -SECOND KEEPEW. Hewe in this countwy, whewe >w< we nyow wemain. -*teleports behind you* KING :3 HENWY. I w-was a-anyointed king *sighs* at nyinye months owd; -My *cries* fathew and my gwandfathew w-wewe k-kings; -*cries* And you wewe *moans* swown twue s-subjects u-unto me; -And t-teww me, xDD then, have you nyot *twerks* bwoke youw oaths? -F-FIWST KEEPEW. Nyo; -Fow we wewe subjects but w-whiwe *looks at you* you wewe king. -KING ^-^ HENWY. OwO Why, am I *leans over* dead? Do I *cries* nyot bweathe a man? -Ah, *teleports behind you* simpwe m-men, y-you knyow nyot what you s-sweaw! -*looks at you* Wook, as I bwow this feathew fwom my face, -And as the aiw b-bwows it to me again, -Obeying with my *twerks* wind when I do bwow, -And yiewding to anyothew when *blushes* it bwows, -Commanded awways by the g-gweatew gust, -Such is the wightnyess o-of you common men. -But do nyot *teleports behind you* bweak youw oaths; fow *sighs* of that s-sin -*looks away* My miwd entweaty shaww nyot *sighs* make you x3 guiwty. -Go whewe you wiww, the King shaww b-be commanded; -And be you kings: command, and I-I'ww obey. -FIWST KEEPEW. We awe t-twue subjects to the King, K-King Edwawd. -KING HENWY. So wouwd you be again *looks away* to H-Henwy, -*hugs tightly* If he wewe seated as King Edwawd is. -FIWST KEEPEW. We chawge you, in UwU God's n-nyame and the King's, -To go *notices bulge* with *moans* us unto the officews. -KING HENWY. In God's nyame, *screams* wead; youw *cries* King's n-nyame be obey'd; -A-And what G-God >w< wiww, that w-wet youw King pewfowm; -And what he wiww, I humbwy yiewd u-unto. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE II. -W-Wondon. The pawace - -Entew KING EDWAWD, GWOUCESTEW, CWAWENCE, a-and WADY GWEY - -KING E-EDWAWD. Bwothew of Gwoucestew, *cuddles you* at ^.^ Saint Awbans' fiewd -This wady's husband, Siw Wichawd G-Gwey, w-was swain, -His wand then *blushes* seiz'd o-on b-by the c-conquewow. -*looks at you* Hew suit is nyow to wepossess those *sweats* wands; -Which we i-in justice cannyot weww deny, ->_< Because OwO in q-quawwew o-of the *looks away* house of Yowk -The >_> wowthy gentweman did wose his ^w^ wife. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Youw Highnyess shaww *sweats* do weww *cuddles you* to gwant hew suit; -I-It wewe dishonyouw to d-deny it hew. -KING EDWAWD. It wewe nyo wess; *notices bulge* but yet I'ww ^w^ make a pause. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside to C-CWAWENCE] Yea, is it s-so? -I see the w-wady uWu hath a thing to gwant, -Befowe the ^.^ King wiww gwant hew humbwe s-suit. -CWAWENCE. [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] He ^.^ knyows the game; how OwO twue he -keeps the wind! -GWOUCESTEW. [-[Aside to CWAWENCE] Siwence! -^w^ KING EDWAWD. *blushes* Widow, we wiww considew of youw >w< suit; -And come some othew *sighs* time to knyow ouw *twerks* mind. -UwU WADY GWEY. :33 Wight gwacious wowd, I cannyot bwook deway. -May i-it pwease youw H-Highnyess to wesowve me nyow; -And what *shuffles closer* youw *teleports behind you* pweasuwe is s-shaww satisfy me. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] Ay, widow? Then I'ww wawwant you aww y-youw -wands, -An if what pweases him shaww pweasuwe you. -Fight cwosew ow, g-good faith, :3 you'ww ^w^ catch a b-bwow. -CWAWENCE. [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] I feaw hew nyot, unwess she chance -to faww. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside to CWAWENCE] G-God fowbid t-that, fow he'ww take -vantages. -K-KING >_< EDWAWD. H-How many c-chiwdwen hast thou, widow, teww me. -CWAWENCE. *cuddles you* [Aside t-to GWOUCESTEW] I think he means t-to beg *sweats* a chiwd of -hew. -^w^ GWOUCESTEW. [Aside to C-CWAWENCE] Nyay, then whip me; he'ww wathew -g-give hew *screams* two. -WADY GWEY. Thwee, my most gwacious wowd. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] You *shuffles closer* shaww have fouw if you'ww be wuw'd b-by him. -KING EDWAWD. 'Twewe pity they shouwd wose theiw fathew's wands. -WADY GWEY. Be pitifuw, xDD dwead *giggles shyly* wowd, and gwant it, then. -KING EDWAWD. Wowds, give us weave; I-I'ww t-twy this widow's wit. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] Ay, good weave have you; fow y-you wiww have -weave -*giggles shyly* Tiww youth take weave x3 and w-weave you to the *giggles shyly* cwutch. -[GWOUCESTEW and CWAWENCE *pokes you* withdwaw] -KING EDWAWD. :33 Nyow teww me, madam, do y-you w-wove youw chiwdwen? -WADY GWEY. Ay, fuww *twerks* as deawwy as I w-wove mysewf. -KING EDWAWD. And wouwd y-you nyot d-do *notices bulge* much >_< to do them good? -WADY GWEY. >_> To do them good I wouwd s-sustain some hawm. -KING EDWAWD. Then get youw husband's wands, to do them *moans* good. -WADY G-GWEY. Thewefowe I-I came unto youw Majesty. -KING EDWAWD. I'ww teww you how these wands awe to be got. -WADY G-GWEY. So shaww you b-bind me to youw Highnyess' sewvice. -KING EDWAWD. W-What sewvice *cries* wiwt *leans over* thou do me :3 if I *pokes you* give them? -W-WADY GWEY. What you c-command that wests in me to do. -KING EDWAWD. But you wiww take exceptions to my b-boon. -WADY GWEY. Nyo, gwacious wowd, *screams* except I cannyot do it. -*giggles shyly* KING *looks at you* EDWAWD. Ay, but thou canst do what *shuffles closer* I mean to ask. -*leans over* WADY >w< GWEY. Why, *cuddles you* then ;;w;; I wiww *giggles shyly* do *looks at you* what youw Gwace commands. -GWOUCESTEW. *cries* He *shuffles closer* pwies hew hawd; and much >w< wain weaws the mawbwe. -CWAWENCE. *pokes you* As ;;w;; wed as fiwe! Nyay, then *teleports behind you* hew wax must mewt. -WADY GWEY. Why stops my wowd? Shaww I ^w^ nyot heaw my task? -KING EDWAWD. An easy task; 'tis but to wove a *looks away* king. -WADY GWEY. That's soon pewfowm'd, because I-I am a subject. -K-KING EDWAWD. Why, then, *sighs* thy husband's w-wands I fweewy give *giggles shyly* thee. -*screams* WADY GWEY. I take my weave with many thousand thanks. -*teleports behind you* GWOUCESTEW. The match is made; s-she seaws i-it with a-a cuwtsy. -KING EDWAWD. But stay t-thee- 'tis the *sighs* fwuits of wove I mean. -WADY GWEY. The f-fwuits of wove I mean, my woving wiege. -KING EDWAWD. Ay, b-but, I feaw me, in anyothew sense. -What *screams* wove, thinkst thou, I s-sue so much to get? -WADY >_< GWEY. My wove >_< tiww death, my humbwe thanks, UwU my pwayews; -That wove which viwtue begs and viwtue gwants. -K-KING EDWAWD. N-Nyo, *cries* by my twoth, I-I *notices bulge* did nyot mean such w-wove. -x3 WADY GWEY. Why, then you mean *looks at you* nyot as I-I thought you did. -KING EDWAWD. But nyow you pawtwy may pewceive my m-mind. -*shuffles closer* WADY G-GWEY. My ^w^ mind wiww nyevew gwant >_> what I pewceive -Youw H-Highnyess aims at, if I-I aim a-awight. -K-KING EDWAWD. To teww thee pwain, I aim to wie w-with thee. ->_> WADY G-GWEY. To teww you *leans over* pwain, xDD I had wathew wie i-in pwison. -KING *cries* EDWAWD. Why, then thou shawt nyot have thy x3 husband's UwU wands. -WADY GWEY. Why, then *giggles shyly* minye honyesty shaww *cuddles you* be my dowew; -F-Fow by >_< that w-woss I w-wiww uWu nyot puwchase them. -KING EDWAWD. Thewein thou wwong'st thy chiwdwen mightiwy. -WADY GWEY. Hewein youw Highnyess wwongs both them and me. -But, m-mighty wowd, ^w^ this mewwy incwinyation -Accowds nyot with the sadnyess of my s-suit. -Pwease y-you x3 dismiss me, e-eithew ^.^ with ay ow n-nyo. -KING *moans* EDWAWD. A-Ay, *looks at you* if thou wiwt say ay to my wequest; -Nyo, if thou dost say nyo to xDD my demand. -*notices bulge* WADY GWEY. T-Then, n-nyo, my *twerks* wowd. M-My s-suit is at an end. -GWOUCESTEW. The widow *hugs tightly* wikes him nyot; *leans over* she knyits hew bwows. -CWAWENCE. OwO He is t-the bwuntest wooew in Chwistendom. -K-KING EDWAWD. [Aside] Hew wooks doth *shuffles closer* awgue h-hew wepwete with modesty; -*shuffles closer* Hew *teleports behind you* wowds doth s-show *blushes* hew wit *giggles shyly* incompawabwe; -Aww hew pewfections c-chawwenge soveweignty. -Onye *pokes you* way ow othew, she is f-fow a king; -*looks away* And she shaww be *shuffles closer* my wove, ow ewse my queen. -Say that *cries* King Edwawd take *sweats* thee fow his queen? -WADY GWEY. 'Tis bettew said than donye, my gwacious wowd. -I am OwO a subject fit to jest w-withaw, -But f-faw unfit to be a-a s-soveweign. -*looks away* KING EDWAWD. *pokes you* Sweet widow, by my s-state I sweaw to *shuffles closer* thee -I speak nyo mowe than what x3 my souw intends; -And that is to enjoy t-thee fow *moans* my w-wove. -W-WADY GWEY. A-And that *sighs* is m-mowe t-than *screams* I wiww yiewd unto. -I knyow I am too mean to be youw queen, -And yet too good to be y-youw c-concubinye. -KING E-EDWAWD. You caviw, widow; I did mean my queen. -WADY GWEY. '-'Twiww gwieve youw *shuffles closer* Gwace my sons shouwd caww you fathew. -KING EDWARD.No mowe than when my d-daughtews c-caww *sweats* thee mothew. -Thou awt a widow, and thou hast xDD some chiwdwen; -And, by God's xDD Mothew, I, b-being but a bachewow, -H-Have o-othew some. Why, '-'tis a happy thing -To be *twerks* the fathew unto many sons. -Answew nyo mowe, fow thou shawt be my queen. -GWOUCESTEW. The ghostwy fathew n-nyow xDD hath donye his shwift. -CWAWENCE. When he was m-made ;;w;; a shwivew, 'twas *moans* fow s-shwift. -KING EDWAWD. Bwothews, you muse *twerks* what x3 chat we t-two have h-had. -G-GWOUCESTEW. The widow wikes it nyot, f-fow she wooks vewy ^w^ sad. -KING *looks away* EDWAWD. You'd think it stwange if I shouwd mawwy hew. -CWAWENCE. To who, my wowd? -*looks away* KING EDWAWD. Why, *hugs tightly* Cwawence, to mysewf. -GWOUCESTEW. That wouwd be *sighs* ten days' wondew at the weast. -CWAWENCE. That's :3 a day wongew than a wondew wasts. -GWOUCESTEW. By so much is t-the wondew in extwemes. -KING EDWAWD. W-Weww, jest on, bwothews; I can teww you both -Hew suit is gwanted fow x3 hew h-husband's wands. - -Entew a ;;w;; NyOBWEMAN - -NyOBWEMAN. My gwacious *blushes* wowd, Henwy youw foe is t-taken -And bwought youw pwisonyew to youw pawace *giggles shyly* gate. -KING EDWAWD. See ^.^ that >_> he b-be convey'd unto ^.^ the Towew. -*teleports behind you* And ;;w;; go we, bwothews, *leans over* to the man that took him -To question of *screams* his appwehension. -Widow, *screams* go you *sighs* awong. Wowds, u-use hew *notices bulge* honyouwabwy. -Exeunt aww *hugs tightly* but GWOUCESTEW -GWOUCESTEW. Ay, *shuffles closer* Edwawd wiww use women honyouwabwy. -W-Wouwd UwU he wewe wasted, mawwow, b-bonyes, and aww, -That fwom his woins :33 nyo hopefuw b-bwanch may spwing -To c-cwoss m-me fwom *notices bulge* the gowden time I wook fow! -A-And yet, between my souw's desiwe and me- -The w-wustfuw Edwawd's titwe buwied- -Is Cwawence, Henwy, and his son young Edwawd, -And *sweats* aww the unwook'd fow issue of theiw bodies, ->w< To *pokes you* take theiw wooms ewe I can pwace m-mysewf. -A cowd pwemeditation fow my UwU puwpose! -W-Why, then I do but dweam on soveweignty; -*cuddles you* Wike onye that stands upon a pwomontowy -UwU And spies a-a faw-off showe whewe *cuddles you* he wouwd twead, -Wishing his *shuffles closer* foot wewe equaw with his e-eye; -:3 And chides the ;;w;; sea that ^w^ sundews h-him fwom thence, -Saying *sighs* he'ww wade it dwy t-to have his *moans* way- -So do I wish the cwown, being so faw off; -*looks away* And >_> so I chide the means that keeps me fwom it; ->w< And so I say I-I'ww cut the c-causes off, -F-Fwattewing xDD me with i-impossibiwities. -My e-eye's too quick, my heawt o'ewweens too much, -Unwess my hand and stwength couwd equaw them. -Weww, say thewe is n-nyo k-kingdom *leans over* then fow Wichawd; -What othew pweasuwe c-can the wowwd *screams* affowd? -I'ww m-make my heaven i-in a wady's *moans* wap, -And uWu deck my body in gay ownyaments, -*sweats* And witch sweet wadies with my wowds and wooks. -O misewabwe t-thought! and mowe unwikewy -Than to accompwish twenty *notices bulge* gowden cwowns. -Why, w-wove fowswowe me *hugs tightly* in m-my mothew's womb; -And, fow I shouwd nyot deaw x3 in hew soft waws, -She did cowwupt fwaiw nyatuwe with some bwibe -To s-shwink minye awm up ;;w;; wike a w-withew'd shwub -To make an envious mountain on OwO my back, -x3 Whewe s-sits defowmity to mock my *blushes* body; -To s-shape my wegs of ;;w;; an unyequaw size; -To dispwopowtion me in e-evewy pawt, -Wike *pokes you* to a chaos, *sighs* ow an unwick'd beaw-whewp -T-That cawwies nyo impwession wike the dam. -And am I, then, a man to b-be bewov'd? -O monstwous f-fauwt to hawbouw such a thought! -Then, since this e-eawth affowds nyo joy to me -*pokes you* But to command, to check, t-to uWu o'ewbeaw such -As *screams* awe of *sighs* bettew pewson than m-mysewf, -I'ww make my xDD heaven to d-dweam upon the cwown, -And whiwes I wive t' account this wowwd but heww, -Untiw my misshap'd twunk that beaw *pokes you* this >_< head -Be wound impawed w-with *looks away* a gwowious cwown. -A-And yet I knyow nyot how to g-get the cwown, -Fow many wives stand between *looks at you* me and home; -:33 And I- wike onye wost i-in a thowny wood -That wents the thowns and is went with the thowns, -*pokes you* Seeking a way and *twerks* stwaying f-fwom the way -Nyot knyowing *sighs* how to find the *leans over* open aiw, -But toiwing *moans* despewatewy t-to find it o-out- -Towment mysewf to catch the E-Engwish cwown; -And fwom that towment *teleports behind you* I wiww fwee mysewf -Ow hew *looks away* my ^.^ way out :3 with a bwoody axe. -Why, I can s-smiwe, a-and *twerks* muwdew *sighs* whiwes I smiwe, -And cwy '-'Content!' to xDD that which gwieves my heawt, -And wet *pokes you* my cheeks with awtificiaw teaws, -And fwame OwO my face to aww *moans* occasions. -I'ww d-dwown mowe s-saiwows than the m-mewmaid *pokes you* shaww; -I'ww sway mowe gazews than the b-basiwisk; -I'ww pway the owatow as weww *screams* as Nyestow, -Deceive m-mowe swiwy than Uwysses couwd, -And, wike a Sinyon, OwO take anyothew Twoy. -I can add cowouws t-to the c-chameweon, ->_< Change shapes w-with Pwotheus fow advantages, -And set *looks at you* the muwdewous Machiavew to schoow. -Can I d-do this, and c-cannyot g-get a cwown? -Tut, wewe it fawthew xDD off, I'ww pwuck it d-down. Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -Fwance. The KING'S pawace - -Fwouwish. E-Entew WEWIS the *pokes you* Fwench King, his sistew B-BONyA, -his Admiwaw caww'd B-BOUWBON; PWINCE EDWAWD, *giggles shyly* QUEEN MAWGAWET, -a-and the EAWW ;;w;; of OXFOWD. WEWIS s-sits, and wiseth up again - -WEWIS. Faiw Queen of Engwand, wowthy M-Mawgawet, -*giggles shyly* Sit down with us. *cries* It i-iww befits *teleports behind you* thy state -And b-biwth that thou *looks at you* shouwdst stand w-whiwe Wewis doth sit. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Nyo, mighty King of Fwance. Nyow M-Mawgawet -Must stwike h-hew saiw and weawn a whiwe to x3 sewve -Whewe kings c-command. I was, I must *hugs tightly* confess, -Gweat Awbion's *looks at you* Queen in f-fowmew g-gowden days; -But n-nyow *twerks* mischance hath twod my t-titwe down -And with dishonyouw waid me on t-the *looks away* gwound, -Whewe I must take wike seat unto my fowtunye, -And to my humbwe seat confowm mysewf. -OwO WEWIS. Why, say, faiw Queen, whence spwings this deep d-despaiw? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. F-Fwom s-such a cause a-as f-fiwws minye *notices bulge* eyes with teaws -And stops m-my ^-^ tongue, whiwe heawt is dwown'd in cawes. -WEWIS. Whate'ew it be, be thou stiww wike *shuffles closer* thysewf, -And s-sit *teleports behind you* thee b-by ouw side. [Seats hew by him] Yiewd *shuffles closer* nyot t-thy n-nyeck -To f-fowtunye's yoke, b-but wet thy *sighs* dauntwess *cries* mind -Stiww wide in t-twiumph ovew aww mischance. -Be p-pwain, Queen Mawgawet, and t-teww thy gwief; -It shaww :33 be e-eas'd, if Fwance c-can yiewd wewief. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Those gwacious w-wowds wevive my dwooping thoughts -And *sweats* give my tongue-tied sowwows weave to speak. -Nyow thewefowe be it knyown to n-nyobwe Wewis -:3 That Henwy, sowe *looks at you* possessow >_> of my wove, -x3 Is, of a king, become a-a banyish'd man, -*cries* And fowc'd to wive i-in Scotwand a *giggles shyly* fowwown; -Whiwe pwoud ambitious Edwawd Duke of Yowk -Usuwps the w-wegaw t-titwe and the s-seat -Of ^.^ Engwand's twue-anyointed wawfuw >_> King. -This is the :3 cause t-that I, poow :3 Mawgawet, -*sweats* With this *sighs* my son, Pwince Edwawd, Henwy's heiw, -Am c-come to cwave thy just x3 and wawfuw aid; -A-And if thou :3 faiw us, aww ouw hope is *cuddles you* donye. -*twerks* Scotwand h-hath *shuffles closer* wiww to hewp, but cannyot h-hewp; -Ouw peopwe and o-ouw peews awe *cuddles you* both miswed, -Ouw tweasuwe seiz'd, ouw *cuddles you* sowdiews put t-to fwight, -*sweats* And, as thou seest, ouwsewves in heavy x3 pwight. ->w< WEWIS. Wenyownyed Queen, with patience cawm *twerks* the stowm, -*notices bulge* Whiwe we bethink a means to bweak it off. -*moans* QUEEN MAWGAWET. The mowe we stay, the *giggles shyly* stwongew *giggles shyly* gwows ouw foe. -WEWIS. The mowe I stay, *looks at you* the >_< mowe I'ww succouw thee. -xDD QUEEN MAWGAWET. O, but impatience waiteth o-on twue sowwow. -And see whewe comes the bweedew of my sowwow! - -Entew WAWWICK - -W-WEWIS. What's *moans* he appwoacheth bowdwy to ouw *sweats* pwesence? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. *pokes you* Ouw *cuddles you* Eaww of Wawwick, Edwawd's gweatest *teleports behind you* fwiend. -*looks at you* WEWIS. *looks away* Wewcome, bwave Wawwick! What bwings thee to *cuddles you* Fwance? -[He descends. She awiseth] -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. Ay, n-nyow begins a second stowm *blushes* to wise; -Fow t-this is he that m-moves b-both wind *giggles shyly* and tide. -WAWWICK. *looks away* Fwom wowthy *cries* Edwawd, King of Awbion, -My w-wowd and soveweign, and thy vowed fwiend, -^w^ I come, in kindnyess and unfeignyed wove, -xDD Fiwst to do gweetings to thy woyaw pewson, -And t-then to cwave a weague of amity, -And wastwy to confiwm that amity -With nyuptiaw knyot, if thou vouchsafe to gwant -That viwtuous Wady Bonya, thy faiw sistew, -To E-Engwand's King in wawfuw mawwiage. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. [Aside] If that *looks away* go xDD fowwawd, *looks away* Henwy's hope i-is donye. ->w< WAWWICK. [To BONyA] >_> And, gwacious m-madam, in UwU ouw *sighs* king's *cuddles you* behawf, -I am commanded, uWu with youw w-weave and favouw, -Humbwy t-to kiss youw hand, and with my tongue -To teww the passion of my soveweign's heawt; -Whewe fame, wate ent'wing at his heedfuw *looks at you* eaws, -Hath pwac'd *looks at you* thy :33 beauty's image OwO and *notices bulge* thy viwtue. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. *teleports behind you* King Wewis and Wady Bonya, heaw me speak -Befowe you *hugs tightly* answew *teleports behind you* Wawwick. His demand -S-Spwings nyot f-fwom Edwawd's weww-meant honyest wove, -But fwom deceit bwed *screams* by nyecessity; -Fow h-how can tywants safewy govewn home -Unwess abwoad t-they puwchase gweat *teleports behind you* awwiance? -T-To pwove >w< him t-tywant *hugs tightly* this weason may suffice, -*screams* That Henwy wiveth stiww; but wewe h-he dead, -Y-Yet hewe Pwince Edwawd stands, *twerks* King Henwy's son. -Wook thewefowe, Wewis, that by this weague and mawwiage -Thou dwaw nyot on thy dangew *teleports behind you* and dishonyouw; -Fow though usuwpews sway *moans* the *teleports behind you* wuwe a whiwe -Yet heav'ns awe just, and time suppwesseth wwongs. -WAWWICK. *pokes you* Injuwious Mawgawet! -PWINCE OF WAWES. And why nyot Queen? -WAWWICK. *sighs* Because thy f-fathew Henwy did usuwp; -And thou nyo m-mowe awt >_> pwince than ^w^ she i-is queen. -OXFOWD. Then *cuddles you* Wawwick disannyuws gweat John of G-Gaunt, -Which did subdue the gweatest pawt o-of Spain; -And, aftew *sighs* John of G-Gaunt, Henwy the Fouwth, -W-Whose wisdom was *giggles shyly* a *pokes you* miwwow to the wisest; -And, aftew that wise *sighs* pwince, Henwy the Fifth, -Who by his p-pwowess conquewed aww Fwance. -Fwom these *sweats* ouw Henwy winyeawwy descends. -WAWWICK. Oxfowd, h-how haps *sighs* it *shuffles closer* in t-this s-smooth discouwse -You towd nyot how Henwy the Sixth hath wost -Aww that ;;w;; which Henwy the *shuffles closer* Fifth had gotten? -^w^ Methinks these peews of Fwance shouwd *leans over* smiwe at that. -But fow the west: you *teleports behind you* teww a pedigwee -Of thweescowe and *screams* two yeaws- *cries* a siwwy time -To make pwescwiption fow a k-kingdom's wowth. -O-OXFOWD. Why, Wawwick, canst thou speak UwU against thy wiege, -Whom thou *giggles shyly* obeyed'st thiwty and six y-yeaws, -*looks away* And nyot betway thy tweason with a-a bwush? -WAWWICK. Can Oxfowd t-that did evew fence xDD the wight -Nyow *looks away* buckwew fawsehood with a p-pedigwee? -Fow s-shame! Weave Henwy, uWu and caww Edwawd king. -O-OXFOWD. Caww him my king b-by whose uWu injuwious d-doom -My ewdew :3 bwothew, the ^.^ Wowd Aubwey Vewe, -Was donye to death; and m-mowe than so, my fathew, ->_< Even in the downfaww of his mewwow'd uWu yeaws, -*pokes you* When nyatuwe b-bwought him to *leans over* the doow of death? -Nyo, uWu Wawwick, nyo; whiwe wife *teleports behind you* uphowds this awm, -This a-awm uphowds the house of Wancastew. -WAWWICK. And I >_< the *twerks* house o-of Yowk. -WEWIS. Queen Mawgawet, Pwince Edwawd, and Oxfowd, -*blushes* Vouchsafe at ouw wequest to stand a-aside -Whiwe *cuddles you* I use *teleports behind you* fuwthew confewence w-with Wawwick. -[They *notices bulge* stand awoof] -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Heavens gwant that Wawwick's w-wowds bewitch him nyot! -WEWIS. N-Nyow, Wawwick, teww me, even upon t-thy conscience, -Is Edwawd youw OwO twue king? fow I-I wewe woath -To wink *teleports behind you* with him that wewe nyot wawfuw chosen. -W-WAWWICK. Theweon I pawn my cwedit and minye honyouw. -WEWIS. But is >_> he g-gwacious in the peopwe's eye? -WAWWICK. The mowe that *cuddles you* Henwy *screams* was *giggles shyly* unfowtunyate. -W-WEWIS. T-Then fuwthew: a-aww dissembwing set aside, -Teww UwU me fow ^w^ twuth the measuwe of his w-wove -:33 Unto ouw sistew Bonya. -WAWWICK. Such it seems -As may beseem *cries* a monyawch wike himsewf. -*notices bulge* Mysewf have often heawd him say and sweaw -That this his wove *blushes* was an etewnyaw pwant -Wheweof t-the woot was fix'd in viwtue's gwound, -The weaves and *notices bulge* fwuit maintain'd *teleports behind you* with *sweats* beauty's s-sun, -Exempt fwom *sighs* envy, but nyot fwom disdain, -Unwess the Wady Bonya uWu quit his pain. -WEWIS. *shuffles closer* Nyow, s-sistew, wet u-us heaw youw fiwm wesowve. -B-BONyA. >_> Youw gwant o-ow youw denyiaw shaww be minye. -xDD [To WAWWICK] Yet I confess that often *shuffles closer* ewe this day, -When I have heawd youw king's d-desewt wecounted, -Minye eaw hath tempted judgment t-to desiwe. -WEWIS. Then, >w< Wawwick, *moans* thus: ouw sistew shaww be Edwawd's. -And nyow fowthwith s-shaww awticwes be dwawn -Touching the jointuwe :3 that youw king must x3 make, -Which xDD with h-hew dowwy *looks away* shaww be countewpois'd. -Dwaw nyeaw, Queen Mawgawet, a-and be a-a witnyess -That Bonya shaww be wife to :33 the Engwish king. -PWINCE OF WAWES. To Edwawd, but nyot to the Engwish k-king. -Q-QUEEN *cries* MAWGAWET. Deceitfuw W-Wawwick, i-it was thy device -By this *twerks* awwiance to make v-void my suit. -Befowe t-thy coming, Wewis was Henwy's fwiend. -WEWIS. And stiww is fwiend *sighs* to him and Mawgawet. -But *moans* if y-youw titwe ^-^ to the UwU cwown be weak, -A-As may appeaw by Edwawd's *sweats* good s-success, -Then '-'tis *notices bulge* but weason that I be weweas'd -:33 Fwom g-giving aid which w-wate I pwomised. -*notices bulge* Yet shaww you have *blushes* aww kindnyess at my *moans* hand -That youw estate wequiwes and minye can yiewd. -WAWWICK. Henwy nyow wives i-in Scotwand at his case, -Whewe having nyothing, *shuffles closer* nyothing can >w< he *sweats* wose. -And as fow you ^.^ youwsewf, ouw quondam queen, -You have a fathew abwe to maintain you, -*giggles shyly* And bettew *giggles shyly* 'twewe you twoubwed him than Fwance. -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. Peace, impudent ^-^ and *hugs tightly* shamewess Wawwick, -Pwoud *leans over* settew up and *looks at you* puwwew down of kings! -I wiww nyot hence tiww with my tawk and teaws, -Both fuww o-of twuth, I make King Wewis *teleports behind you* behowd -Thy swy conveyance :3 and thy wowd's fawse wove; -Fow both of you awe b-biwds of sewf-same feathew. -[POST bwowing a hown within] -WEWIS. Wawwick, this is some post to us o-ow *looks at you* thee. - -Entew *twerks* the POST - -POST. M-My wowd ambassadow, t-these wettews awe fow you, -Sent fwom youw bwothew, Mawquis Montague. -These :33 fwom o-ouw King unto youw Majesty. -And, madam, t-these ^-^ fow you; fwom *sweats* whom I k-knyow nyot. -[-[They aww wead theiw *looks away* wettews] -*blushes* OXFOWD. I wike it weww that ouw faiw Queen and *teleports behind you* mistwess -Smiwes at hew *hugs tightly* nyews, *looks away* whiwe Wawwick fwowns *shuffles closer* at h-his. -PWINCE OF WAWES. Nyay, mawk *hugs tightly* how x3 Wewis >_< stamps a-as he wewe nyettwed. -*notices bulge* I hope a-aww's fow ^w^ the best. -WEWIS. W-Wawwick, what awe UwU thy nyews? And youws, faiw Q-Queen? -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. Minye such as fiww *twerks* my heawt w-with unhop'd joys. -x3 WAWWICK. Minye, :3 fuww >w< of sowwow a-and heawt's discontent. -WEWIS. What, h-has *cries* youw k-king m-mawwied the :33 Wady G-Gwey? -And nyow, >w< to soothe youw fowgewy and his, -Sends me a *cries* papew to *cuddles you* pewsuade me patience? -Is this th' awwiance that *cries* he seeks with *giggles shyly* Fwance? -Dawe he ;;w;; pwesume to scown *looks at you* us in t-this m-mannyew? -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. I-I *moans* towd youw M-Majesty >_> as much befowe. -T-This *hugs tightly* pwoveth Edwawd's wove and Wawwick's honyesty. -WAWWICK. King Wewis, I hewe pwotest in sight of heaven, -And by *blushes* the hope I h-have of heavenwy bwiss, -^-^ That I a-am c-cweaw fwom this misdeed of Edwawd's- -Nyo *looks at you* mowe my king, fow he dishonyouws me, -But *moans* most himsewf, if he couwd see his shame. -*blushes* Did I fowget that by the house of Yowk -My :3 fathew *screams* came u-untimewy to *sweats* his *sighs* death? -Did I-I wet pass th' >w< abuse *screams* donye to my nyiece? -Did *giggles shyly* I impawe him with the wegaw cwown? -Did I ^w^ put Henwy fwom h-his nyative wight? -A-And am I g-guewdon'd at t-the *giggles shyly* wast with shame? -Shame on himsewf! f-fow my *sighs* desewt is honyouw; -And to wepaiw my honyouw wost fow him -I *sighs* hewe wenyounce him and wetuwn to H-Henwy. -*sweats* My nyobwe Queen, wet fowmew *looks away* gwudges pass, -And h-hencefowth I am *leans over* thy twue sewvitow. -I wiww wevenge his wwong to Wady B-Bonya, -And w-wepwant Henwy in his fowmew state. -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. Wawwick, these wowds have tuwn'd m-my hate to wove; -A-And ^-^ I fowgive and quite f-fowget owd fauwts, -And joy that thou becom'st King H-Henwy's fwiend. -WAWWICK. So xDD much his f-fwiend, ay, his unfeignyed fwiend, -T-That uWu if King W-Wewis vouchsafe t-to f-fuwnyish xDD us -With some few bands of chosen sowdiews, -I'ww *hugs tightly* undewtake to w-wand them on o-ouw coast -And f-fowce the tywant f-fwom his seat by waw. -'-'Tis nyot h-his nyew-made bwide *teleports behind you* shaww s-succouw him; -And as *looks away* fow Cwawence, as my wettews *cries* teww me, -He's vewy wikewy nyow to *screams* faww f-fwom OwO him -Fow matching m-mowe >_> fow wanton wust than UwU honyouw -Ow *hugs tightly* than fow stwength and safety of ouw countwy. -BONyA. Deaw bwothew, how xDD shaww Bonya be weveng'd -*moans* But by *sweats* thy hewp to t-this distwessed queen? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Wenyownyed Pwince, ^-^ how shaww *sweats* poow Henwy wive -Unwess thou wescue him fwom fouw despaiw? -BONyA. My quawwew and this Engwish *screams* queen's awe onye. -WAWWICK. And minye, x3 faiw Wady *blushes* Bonya, joins with *sweats* youws. -WEWIS. And minye *looks at you* with hews, and thinye, and Mawgawet's. -Thewefowe, a-at wast, I-I f-fiwmwy am wesowv'd -You shaww have aid. -QUEEN *screams* MAWGAWET. W-Wet me give humbwe thanks fow aww ^w^ at once. -WEWIS. Then, Engwand's messengew, uWu wetuwn in post -And t-teww fawse E-Edwawd, thy supposed UwU king, -That Wewis of Fwance is sending uWu ovew masquews -T-To wevew it *looks at you* with him and his nyew bwide. -Thou seest what's past; >_> go feaw thy king ;;w;; withaw. -BONyA. T-Teww him, i-in hope h-he'ww pwove a widowew showtwy, -I'ww weaw the wiwwow-gawwand fow his *sweats* sake. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Teww him my mouwnying weeds a-awe waid aside, -And I ^.^ am weady to put ^-^ awmouw o-on. -WAWWICK. Teww him f-fwom me that he hath donye me wwong, -And t-thewefowe *twerks* I'ww uncwown him ewe't be wong. -Thewe's thy wewawd; be gonye. xDD Exit POST -WEWIS. But, Wawwick, -Thou and Oxfowd, with five thousand m-men, -Shaww c-cwoss t-the seas and b-bid fawse x3 Edwawd battwe: -And, as occasion uWu sewves, this n-nyobwe Queen -A-And Pwince shaww fowwow w-with ^w^ a f-fwesh suppwy. -Y-Yet, e-ewe t-thou go, but answew me onye doubt: -What pwedge have we of t-thy fiwm woyawty? -W-WAWWICK. This shaww assuwe my constant woyawty: -T-That x3 if UwU ouw Queen a-and t-this young P-Pwince a-agwee, -I'ww join minye ewdest daughtew and my joy -To h-him fowthwith in *screams* howy *screams* wedwock bands. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Yes, I OwO agwee, and thank you fow y-youw m-motion. -Son Edwawd, she is faiw and viwtuous, -Thewefowe deway nyot- give thy hand to Wawwick; -A-And with thy hand thy faith iwwevocabwe -That o-onwy Wawwick's daughtew s-shaww be thinye. -PWINCE OF WAWES. Yes, I accept hew, fow she ^w^ weww desewves it; -And hewe, to pwedge ^w^ my vow, I give my hand. -[-[He gives his hand to WAWWICK] -WEWIS. s-stay we n-nyow? These sowdiews shaww be wevied; -And thou, Wowd Bouwbon, ouw H-High Admiwaw, -Shaww waft them ovew with o-ouw woyaw fweet. -I w-wong tiww Edwawd faww by waw's mischance -*twerks* Fow mocking m-mawwiage with a dame of Fwance. -Exeunt aww but WAWWICK -WAWWICK. I came fwom Edwawd a-as ambassadow, -But I *blushes* wetuwn h-his swown and mowtaw foe. -Mattew of mawwiage was the chawge he g-gave me, -But dweadfuw w-waw shaww answew his d-demand. -Had he nyonye ewse *hugs tightly* to m-make a stawe but me? -*notices bulge* Then >_< nyonye but I-I shaww t-tuwn his jest to sowwow. -I was t-the chief that wais'd him t-to the cwown, -And I'ww be chief to bwing h-him down again; -*screams* Nyot t-that I pity Henwy's misewy, -B-But seek wevenge on *looks at you* Edwawd's mockewy. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -*sighs* ACT I-IV. SCENyE I. -Wondon. *pokes you* The p-pawace - -Entew G-GWOUCESTEW, CWAWENCE, SOMEWSET, and MONTAGUE - -GWOUCESTEW. Nyow teww me, bwothew Cwawence, what think you -Of *giggles shyly* this nyew OwO mawwiage with the Wady Gwey? -Hath n-nyot ^.^ ouw b-bwothew made a wowthy choice? ->w< CWAWENCE. Awas, you k-knyow 'tis faw fwom h-hence to F-Fwance! -How couwd he stay tiww *moans* Wawwick made wetuwn? -SOMEWSET. My wowds, fowbeaw this tawk; hewe comes t-the ;;w;; King. - -Fwouwish. Entew *sweats* KING EDWAWD, attended; WADY -GWEY, as Queen; PEMBWOKE, *hugs tightly* STAFFOWD, HASTINGS, -and *twerks* othews. Fouw stand on onye side, *notices bulge* and fouw on the othew - -GWOUCESTEW. And *sweats* his *notices bulge* weww-chosen bwide. -CWAWENCE. I-I mind to t-teww him *looks at you* pwainwy what I think. -KING EDWAWD. Nyow, bwothew of Cwawence, how wike *sighs* you ouw c-choice -That you stand p-pensive as hawf m-mawcontent? -C-CWAWENCE. As weww as W-Wewis OwO of Fwance ow the *looks away* Eaww of *hugs tightly* Wawwick, -Which awe so weak o-of couwage and in judgment -That >_> they'ww take nyo offence at *sweats* ouw *leans over* abuse. -x3 KING EDWAWD. Suppose they take offence without a cause; -They awe but Wewis >_< and Wawwick: I a-am Edwawd, -Youw King and Wawwick's and must have my wiww. -*teleports behind you* GWOUCESTEW. And shaww have youw wiww, because *sweats* ouw King. -Yet hasty m-mawwiage sewdom pwoveth weww. -KING EDWAWD. Yea, bwothew Wichawd, awe you offended too? -GWOUCESTEW. N-Nyot I. -Nyo, *screams* God fowbid that I shouwd wish them s-sevew'd -W-Whom God hath join'd togethew; ay, and '-'twewe pity -*screams* To sundew them that yoke *sighs* so *giggles shyly* weww togethew. -KING EDWAWD. Setting youw scowns and youw miswike aside, -T-Teww me some weason why the W-Wady Gwey -Shouwd nyot become m-my w-wife and Engwand's Queen. -And y-you too, x3 Somewset and *sweats* Montague, -Speak fweewy w-what you t-think. -CWAWENCE. Then this is minye opinyion: that King Wewis -Becomes y-youw enyemy fow m-mocking him -*pokes you* About the mawwiage o-of the Wady Bonya. -GWOUCESTEW. And Wawwick, doing what you gave i-in *giggles shyly* chawge, -Is nyow dishonyouwed by this n-nyew *moans* mawwiage. -KING EDWAWD. What if both x3 Wewis and Wawwick be appeas'd -B-By *sighs* such invention as *cries* I c-can *giggles shyly* devise? -MONTAGUE. Y-Yet to have join'd with Fwance i-in such awwiance -Wouwd mowe have stwength'nyed this ouw commonweawth -'-'Gainst foweign stowms ^.^ than any h-home-bwed mawwiage. -HASTINGS. Why, knyows nyot Montague that of *sighs* itsewf -Engwand is safe, if twue within *looks away* itsewf? -MONTAGUE. >w< But *blushes* the safew when 'tis back'd with xDD Fwance. -HASTINGS. 'Tis bettew *leans over* using Fwance than *twerks* twusting Fwance. -Wet us be back'd with God, and with t-the seas -Which He hath giv'n *twerks* fow fence impwegnyabwe, -A-And with *sweats* theiw hewps onwy defend *twerks* ouwsewves. -In them and in o-ouwsewves *cuddles you* ouw safety wies. -CWAWENCE. Fow this *teleports behind you* onye speech Wowd Hastings weww desewves -T-To have the heiw o-of the Wowd Hungewfowd. -K-KING EDWAWD. Ay, what of that? it was my wiww and *notices bulge* gwant; -And fow this once my w-wiww shaww stand x3 fow waw. -*pokes you* GWOUCESTEW. And yet methinks y-youw Gwace hath nyot d-donye weww -To give the *pokes you* heiw and daughtew o-of Wowd Scawes -Unto the bwothew of youw :3 woving bwide. -She bettew wouwd have fitted me ow Cwawence; -But i-in *looks away* youw bwide you buwy bwothewhood. -CWAWENCE. Ow ewse you wouwd n-nyot have bestow'd ^.^ the heiw -Of the Wowd *leans over* Bonviwwe *leans over* on youw nyew wife's son, -And w-weave youw bwothews to go speed ewsewhewe. -KING EDWAWD. A-Awas, poow Cwawence! Is *screams* it ^-^ fow a-a *teleports behind you* wife -That thou awt mawcontent? xDD I *moans* wiww pwovide thee. -CWAWENCE. In choosing fow youwsewf you show'd youw judgment, -Which being shawwow, you *notices bulge* shaww give me w-weave -To pway t-the *twerks* bwokew in minye own behawf; -And to t-that end I showtwy mind to weave >_> you. -KING EDWAWD. Weave me ow tawwy, Edwawd wiww b-be King, -And n-nyot be tied u-unto his bwothew's wiww. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. My wowds, befowe it pweas'd h-his Majesty -To waise my state t-to titwe of *sweats* a queen, -Do me but wight, ^.^ and you must ^.^ aww confess -That I was nyot ignyobwe of descent: -*sweats* And meanyew t-than mysewf have had wike fowtunye. -But *cries* as t-this titwe xDD honyouws me and minye, -*blushes* So youw diswikes, *moans* to whom I wouwd be pweasing, -Doth cwoud my joys with dangew a-and with sowwow. -KING E-EDWAWD. My wove, fowbeaw to fawn upon theiw fwowns. -What dangew ow what sowwow can befaww :33 thee, -So wong as Edwawd is thy constant f-fwiend -And t-theiw t-twue s-soveweign whom they must obey? -Nyay, ;;w;; whom they shaww obey, and wove thee too, -U-Unwess *leans over* they seek fow hatwed at UwU my *moans* hands; -Which if they do, yet wiww I keep thee safe, -And they shaww feew the vengeance of my wwath. -G-GWOUCESTEW. x3 [Aside] I heaw, yet say nyot m-much, but think the mowe. - -Entew a POST - -KING EDWAWD. Nyow, messengew, what wettews ow what n-nyews -Fwom Fwance? -MESSENGEW. My s-soveweign wiege, nyo wettews, and few wowds, -But such as I, without *looks away* youw speciaw pawdon, -x3 Dawe *screams* nyot *moans* wewate. -KING E-EDWAWD. Go to, we pawdon thee; thewefowe, in bwief, -Teww m-me theiw *hugs tightly* wowds as nyeaw *sighs* as thou canst guess them. -What answew makes King Wewis unto o-ouw wettews? -MESSENGEW. At my *looks at you* depawt, these *pokes you* wewe his vewy wowds: -*hugs tightly* 'Go *looks away* teww fawse Edwawd, the supposed k-king, -*blushes* That Wewis of Fwance is sending *hugs tightly* ovew *giggles shyly* masquews -To w-wevew it with h-him and his nyew bwide.' -KING E-EDWAWD. IS Wewis so bwave? Bewike he thinks me Henwy. -But *sighs* what said uWu Wady Bonya *shuffles closer* to my *sweats* mawwiage? -MESSENGEW. These wewe hew wowds, utt'wed with miwd disdain: -'Teww him, in h-hope he'ww pwove >_> a widowew showtwy, -I'ww weaw t-the wiwwow-gawwand fow his sake.' -K-KING EDWAWD. I b-bwame nyot hew: she couwd say wittwe wess; -She h-had the wwong. But w-what said Henwy's queen? -Fow I have heawd that she was t-thewe in pwace. -MESSENGEW. *teleports behind you* 'Teww *notices bulge* him' quoth she 'my mouwnying weeds awe donye, -And :33 I am weady to p-put awmouw on.' -KING EDWAWD. Bewike she minds *blushes* to pway *leans over* the Amazon. -B-But what said Wawwick to these injuwies? -MESSENGEW. *looks away* He, >w< mowe incens'd against :33 youw Majesty -Than aww the west, d-dischawg'd m-me with these wowds: -'Teww him fwom *screams* me t-that he *cries* hath donye me wwong; -And t-thewefowe I-I'ww u-uncwown him ^w^ ewe't be wong.' -K-KING EDWAWD. Ha! duwst the twaitow bweathe out :33 so pwoud w-wowds? -Weww, :33 I wiww awm me, b-being t-thus fowewawn'd. -*hugs tightly* They shaww have waws and pay fow t-theiw pwesumption. -^-^ But say, is Wawwick fwiends with Mawgawet? -MESSENGEW. Ay, gwacious *shuffles closer* soveweign; they awe so wink'd in fwiendship -T-That young *moans* Pwince Edwawd mawwies Wawwick's xDD daughtew. -CWAWENCE. Bewike the ewdew; Cwawence wiww have *leans over* the youngew. -Nyow, bwothew *twerks* king, faweweww, and s-sit you fast, -F-Fow *moans* I wiww hence ^-^ to Wawwick's othew daughtew; -That, >_> though I *cries* want a kingdom, *screams* yet in mawwiage -*pokes you* I may n-nyot pwove infewiow to youwsewf. -You that wove me and *moans* Wawwick, fowwow me. -Exit, and SOMEWSET fowwows -GWOUCESTEW. [-[Aside] OwO Nyot I. -*giggles shyly* My thoughts aim *cuddles you* at a f-fuwthew mattew; I-I -Stay nyot fow the *giggles shyly* wove ^-^ of Edwawd *leans over* but the *cries* cwown. -KING EDWAWD. Cwawence and Somewset both gonye to Wawwick! -Yet am I awm'd against *blushes* the wowst ^-^ can happen; -And haste is nyeedfuw in this desp'wate case. -Pembwoke >w< and Staffowd, you i-in ouw ^w^ behawf -G-Go wevy men and m-make pwepawe fow waw; -They awe awweady, ow >w< quickwy wiww ^.^ be w-wanded. -Mysewf *blushes* in pewson wiww s-stwaight fowwow *twerks* you. -*leans over* Exeunt PEMBWOKE and STAFFOWD -But ewe I ^-^ go, *leans over* Hastings >_> and Montague, -Wesowve *giggles shyly* my doubt. You twain, o-of aww the w-west, -Awe nyeaw to W-Wawwick by bwood and by awwiance. -Teww me if y-you wove Wawwick mowe than me? -I-If it b-be so, t-then both depawt to him: -I wathew wish you f-foes than *teleports behind you* howwow fwiends. -But if ^-^ you mind to howd youw twue obedience, -*sighs* Give me a-assuwance with >w< some fwiendwy *twerks* vow, -T-That I may nyevew h-have you in *screams* suspect. -MONTAGUE. So God hewp *leans over* Montague as he p-pwoves :3 twue! -:3 HASTINGS. And Hastings as he favouws Edwawd's :33 cause! -KING E-EDWAWD. Nyow, bwothew W-Wichawd, *looks at you* wiww you s-stand by us? -GWOUCESTEW. Ay, in despite of aww uWu that shaww withstand you. -KING EDWAWD. Why, so! then *teleports behind you* am I suwe of victowy. -Nyow thewefowe >_> wet *hugs tightly* us hence, and wose nyo houw -Tiww we *cuddles you* meet W-Wawwick with xDD his foweign pow'w. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE xDD II. -A pwain in Wawwickshiwe - -*teleports behind you* Entew WAWWICK and OXFOWD, with UwU Fwench sowdiews - -WAWWICK. *cuddles you* Twust me, my wowd, aww hithewto *screams* goes weww; -The common peopwe by nyumbews swawm to us. - ->_< Entew CWAWENCE and SOMEWSET - -B-But see whewe Somewset and Cwawence comes. -Speak suddenwy, my ^-^ wowds- a-awe we aww fwiends? -C-CWAWENCE. *sighs* Feaw :33 nyot t-that, my wowd. -WAWWICK. *teleports behind you* Then, gentwe Cwawence, wewcome unto Wawwick; -uWu And wewcome, Somewset. *looks away* I howd it cowawdice -To west *leans over* mistwustfuw whewe a nyobwe heawt -Hath pawn'd an open hand >_> in sign o-of wove; -Ewse might I think :3 that Cwawence, ^.^ Edwawd's bwothew, -Wewe but *teleports behind you* a f-feignyed fwiend to ouw *moans* pwoceedings. -But ;;w;; wewcome, sweet Cwawence; my daughtew shaww be thinye. -And *leans over* nyow what wests but, in nyight's covewtuwe, -Thy bwothew being cawewesswy encamp'd, -^-^ His sowdiews wuwking in the *blushes* towns >w< about, -And but attended by a *twerks* simpwe guawd, -We may suwpwise and take him at ouw pweasuwe? -Ouw s-scouts *screams* have found the adventuwe vewy easy; -That :3 as Uwysses and stout D-Diomede -With sweight and manhood stowe to Whesus' tents, -And bwought fwom thence the Thwacian fataw steeds, -So :3 we, weww covew'd with the nyight's ^w^ bwack mantwe, -;;w;; At unyawawes *sighs* may beat >_> down Edwawd's guawd -And s-seize himsewf- I s-say *twerks* nyot 'swaughtew him,' -F-Fow :3 I i-intend but onwy to suwpwise him. -*teleports behind you* You that wiww fowwow m-me to t-this attempt, -Appwaud the nyame of Henwy with youw weadew. -[They aww *giggles shyly* cwy 'Henwy!'] -Why then, wet's on o-ouw way in siwent sowt. -Fow Wawwick and h-his fwiends, God and Saint G-Geowge! OwO Exeunt - - - -SCENyE III. -Edwawd's *screams* camp, nyeaw Wawwick - -Entew thwee WATCHMEN, to guawd the x3 KING'S tent - -FIWST W-WATCHMAN. Come *blushes* on, my mastews, each man take his stand; -The King OwO by this is set him d-down to sweep. -SECOND WATCHMAN. What, wiww he nyot to bed? -FIWST WATCHMAN. Why, nyo; fow he h-hath made a-a sowemn vow -Nyevew to *looks at you* wie and take *shuffles closer* his nyatuwaw west -Tiww Wawwick ow himsewf be quite suppwess'd. -SECOND WATCHMAN. :3 To-mowwow then, bewike, shaww be the day, -If Wawwick be s-so nyeaw *hugs tightly* as men w-wepowt. -THIWD WATCHMAN. But *blushes* say, I pway, what n-nyobweman is t-that -That with the King hewe westeth in his tent? -;;w;; FIWST WATCHMAN. *leans over* 'Tis the Wowd Hastings, the King's chiefest fwiend. -THIWD WATCHMAN. O, is it So? But why commands the King -That his chief fowwowews wodge in x3 towns about him, -Whiwe he himsewf keeps i-in the cowd fiewd? -*sighs* SECOND WATCHMAN. 'Tis the mowe honyouw, because *cuddles you* mowe d-dangewous. -THIWD WATCHMAN. Ay, but give me wowship ^.^ and q-quietnyess; -I wike it bettew than dangewous honyouw. -If Wawwick knyew i-in w-what estate he stands, -'Tis to be UwU doubted he wouwd waken him. -*teleports behind you* FIWST W-WATCHMAN. Unwess ouw hawbewds did shut up h-his *pokes you* passage. -*screams* SECOND WATCHMAN. Ay, whewefowe OwO ewse guawd we >_> his woyaw tent -But *pokes you* to defend *pokes you* his p-pewson f-fwom nyight-foes? - -Entew *looks at you* WAWWICK, C-CWAWENCE, OXFOWD, SOMEWSET, -and Fwench sowdiews, siwent aww - -WAWWICK. This is his tent; and see whewe xDD stand his guawd. -Couwage, my mastews! Honyouw nyow *screams* ow nyevew! -But fowwow m-me, and Edwawd UwU shaww be ouws. -FIWST WATCHMAN. Who *notices bulge* goes thewe? -S-SECOND WATCHMAN. Stay, o-ow t-thou diest. - -WAWWICK ^w^ and the west cwy aww 'Wawwick! Wawwick!' and -set u-upon the guawd, who fwy, cwying '-'Awm! Awm!' W-WAWWICK -and *twerks* the west fowwowing them - -The >w< dwum pwaying and twumpet sounding, we-entew WAWWICK -a-and t-the west, *giggles shyly* bwinging the xDD KING out in his gown, -*hugs tightly* sitting in a *looks away* chaiw. G-GWOUCESTEW *moans* and HASTINGS fwy :33 ovew the stage - -SOMEWSET. What a-awe they ^-^ that fwy thewe? -WAWWICK. uWu Wichawd and Hastings. Wet them go; hewe is the *giggles shyly* Duke. -;;w;; KING EDWAWD. The Duke! Why, Wawwick, when w-we pawted, -Thou caww'dst m-me King? -WAWWICK. Ay, but *cuddles you* the c-case is awtew'd. -When you disgwac'd me in m-my embassade, -Then I degwaded you fwom being King, -And *pokes you* come nyow to OwO cweate you Duke of Yowk. -Awas, *hugs tightly* how shouwd you govewn any k-kingdom -That knyow >w< nyot how to *sighs* use ambassadows, -Nyow how to be ^-^ contented with *leans over* onye w-wife, -Nyow how to *teleports behind you* use youw bwothews b-bwothewwy, -Nyow *twerks* how ^w^ to s-study fow t-the peopwe's wewfawe, -Nyow how to *shuffles closer* shwoud youwsewf fwom enyemies? -K-KING EDWAWD. Yea, bwothew of Cwawence, a-awt thou hewe t-too? -Nyay, *shuffles closer* then I see that E-Edwawd n-nyeeds must d-down. -*sweats* Yet, Wawwick, in xDD despite of aww mischance, -Of *cries* thee :33 thysewf and aww thy compwices, -Edwawd wiww awways beaw *hugs tightly* himsewf as King. -Though fowtunye's mawice ovewthwow m-my *shuffles closer* state, -My mind exceeds the compass of h-hew wheew. -W-WAWWICK. Then, fow his mind, be Edwawd Engwand's k-king; -[Takes off his cwown] -B-But H-Henwy nyow shaww weaw the Engwish cwown -And be xDD twue King indeed; thou but the shadow. -My Wowd of *pokes you* Somewset, at my wequest, -See UwU that fowthwith Duke Edwawd be convey'd -U-Unto my bwothew, Awchbishop of Yowk. -*leans over* When I *moans* have fought with Pembwoke and his fewwows, -I'ww fowwow you and teww what ^w^ answew -Wewis and the Wady Bonya s-send to him. -Nyow f-fow *sweats* a whiwe faweweww, good Duke of Yowk. -KING EDWAWD. What *moans* fates impose, that m-men must nyeeds *hugs tightly* abide; -It boots nyot to wesist both wind and tide. -[They wead him out fowcibwy] -OXFOWD. What nyow xDD wemains, my *twerks* wowds, fow us to do -But *sighs* mawch *hugs tightly* to >_> Wondon >_> with ouw sowdiews? -WAWWICK. Ay, that's the fiwst t-thing that we *sighs* have to do; -To *shuffles closer* fwee King Henwy fwom impwisonment, -And see him seated i-in t-the *blushes* wegaw thwonye. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Wondon. The pawace - -Entew QUEEN EWIZABETH ^-^ and WIVEWS - -WIVEWS. Madam, what makes you in :33 this sudden change? -QUEEN xDD EWIZABETH. Why, bwothew Wivews, OwO awe you y-yet to weawn -What wate misfowtunye is befaww'n King Edwawd? -W-WIVEWS. What, woss of some *leans over* pitch'd battwe against *cuddles you* Wawwick? -*cries* QUEEN EWIZABETH. Nyo, but the woss of *blushes* his own w-woyaw pewson. -WIVEWS. Then is my soveweign >_< swain? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Ay, awmost swain, fow he is taken pwisonyew; -*blushes* Eithew betway'd by fawsehood of his g-guawd -Ow by his foe suwpwis'd at unyawawes; -And, as I-I fuwthew have to undewstand, -I-Is nyew committed to the Bishop of Yowk, -Feww Wawwick's bwothew, and by that ouw foe. -WIVEWS. These n-nyews, I must confess, awe fuww of gwief; -Yet, g-gwacious m-madam, beaw i-it as you may: -Wawwick may wose that nyow :3 hath won the day. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Tiww then, faiw hope must hindew wife's decay. -And I-I the wathew wean me >_< fwom despaiw -:33 Fow *cuddles you* wove of Edwawd's offspwing in m-my womb. -This is it that makes me bwidwe passion -A-And beaw with miwdnyess my misfowtunye's cwoss; -Ay, ay, fow *twerks* this I dwaw in many a teaw -And *looks at you* stop t-the wising of *cries* bwood-sucking sighs, -West with my sighs >_< ow *notices bulge* teaws x3 I bwast o-ow dwown -King Edwawd's fwuit, twue h-heiw to *cries* th' Engwish *cuddles you* cwown. -WIVEWS. B-But, madam, whewe is Wawwick :3 then become? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. I am infowm'd that he uWu comes *blushes* towawds Wondon -x3 To s-set the cwown once mowe on *looks away* Henwy's head. -Guess thou the west: King Edwawd's fwiends must down. -But t-to *sighs* pwevent the *sighs* tywant's viowence- -Fow twust n-nyot him t-that *notices bulge* hath once bwoken faith- -I-I'ww hence fowthwith unto the sanctuawy -To save at weast the heiw of Edwawd's wight. -Thewe shaww I ;;w;; west secuwe f-fwom fowce and fwaud. -Come, thewefowe, wet us fwy whiwe we may fwy: -If Wawwick ;;w;; take us, we awe suwe to die. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -A pawk n-nyeaw Middweham Castwe in Yowkshiwe - -Entew GWOUCESTEW, W-WOWD HASTINGS, SIW WIWWIAM >w< STANWEY, and o-othews - -GWOUCESTEW. Nyow, my *moans* Wowd Hastings a-and Siw Wiwwiam S-Stanwey, -Weave off to w-wondew why I d-dwew *pokes you* you hithew -Into this chiefest thicket of the pawk. -Thus stands the case: you knyow ouw King, m-my bwothew, -Is pwisonyew to the Bishop hewe, a-at whose hands -He hath g-good usage and gweat *giggles shyly* wibewty; -And often but attended with x3 weak uWu guawd -Comes hunting this way to dispowt *hugs tightly* himsewf. -*moans* I have advewtis'd him by secwet means -T-That if about *hugs tightly* this houw h-he make this way, -Undew t-the cowouw of his usuaw game, -He shaww hewe find his fwiends, with howse and men, -To set uWu him fwee fwom h-his captivity. - -Entew >_> KING EDWAWD *sweats* and a H-HUNTSMAN with him - -HUNTSMAN. This w-way, my wowd; fow this w-way w-wies t-the *cries* game. -KING *cries* EDWAWD. N-Nyay, this way, man. See whewe t-the huntsmen stand. -Nyow, bwothew of *screams* Gwoucestew, Wowd Hastings, and the west, -Stand you t-thus cwose to steaw the Bishop's d-deew? -GWOUCESTEW. *twerks* Bwothew, the t-time and *sweats* case w-wequiweth haste; -^.^ Youw howse *teleports behind you* stands weady at the p-pawk cownyew. -KING EDWAWD. But whithew shaww we then? -HASTINGS. To Wynn, my wowd; a-and shipt fwom thence to *cries* Fwandews. -UwU GWOUCESTEW. W-Weww guess'd, bewieve me; fow that was my meanying. -K-KING >_< EDWAWD. Stanwey, I w-wiww wequite thy fowwawdnyess. -GWOUCESTEW. B-But *giggles shyly* whewefowe stay we? ^w^ 'Tis nyo t-time t-to *cuddles you* tawk. -KING EDWAWD. *twerks* Huntsman, w-what say'st thou? Wiwt thou go a-awong? -HUNTSMAN. Bettew do so *teleports behind you* than tawwy and be ^-^ hang'd. -GWOUCESTEW. *twerks* Come then, away; wet's ha' nyo mowe ado. -K-KING EDWAWD. Bishop, faweweww. Shiewd t-thee fwom Wawwick's fwown, -And pway that I may wepossess UwU the cwown. E-Exeunt - - - - -uWu SCENyE VI. -Wondon. The Towew - -F-Fwouwish. Entew KING HENWY, CWAWENCE, WAWWICK, *looks at you* SOMEWSET, y-young HENWY, -*cries* EAWW OF WICHMOND, OXFOWD, MONTAGUE, WIEUTENyANT OF THE TOWEW, and attendants - -K-KING :3 HENWY. Mastew Wieutenyant, nyow that God and fwiends -Have shaken E-Edwawd fwom *sighs* the wegaw seat -And *hugs tightly* tuwn'd my captive state to wibewty, -My feaw to hope, my sowwows unto joys, -At ouw enwawgement what awe thy due fees? -W-WIEUTENyANT. Subjects may c-chawwenge nyothing of theiw *looks at you* sov'weigns; -But if an humbwe pwayew *screams* may pwevaiw, -I then cwave pawdon o-of youw M-Majesty. -KING *notices bulge* HENWY. Fow *cries* what, Wieutenyant? Fow w-weww u-using me? -Nyay, be *sighs* thou suwe *looks at you* I'ww *pokes you* weww wequite thy x3 kindnyess, -Fow that it m-made my impwisonment a pweasuwe; -Ay, *pokes you* such a pweasuwe as incaged biwds -Conceive when, aftew m-many uWu moody t-thoughts, -At wast *cuddles you* by nyotes x3 of househowd hawmony -They quite f-fowget t-theiw woss of w-wibewty. -But, Wawwick, aftew God, thou set'st me fwee, -*notices bulge* And chiefwy thewefowe I thank God and thee; -He was the authow, thou the i-instwument. -Thewefowe, t-that I-I may conquew fowtunye's s-spite -By *blushes* wiving wow whewe fowtunye cannyot xDD huwt me, -And that the peopwe of this bwessed wand -May nyot be punyish'd with OwO my thwawting s-staws, -Wawwick, awthough my head stiww weaw UwU the cwown, -I hewe wesign m-my govewnment >w< to thee, -Fow thou awt fowtunyate in *hugs tightly* aww thy deeds. ->w< WAWWICK. Youw *sweats* Gwace hath stiww x3 been fam'd f-fow viwtuous, -And nyow may s-seem *teleports behind you* as wise as viwtuous -B-By spying and avoiding fowtunye's mawice, -F-Fow few ;;w;; men wightwy tempew with the *moans* staws; -Yet in this o-onye thing wet me bwame youw G-Gwace, -Fow choosing me when Cwawence is in pwace. -*teleports behind you* CWAWENCE. Nyo, Wawwick, thou *twerks* awt ^w^ wowthy of the *hugs tightly* sway, -To w-whom the heav'ns in >w< thy n-nyativity -Adjudg'd an *shuffles closer* owive b-bwanch and wauwew cwown, -As wikewy to be *looks away* bwest in OwO peace and waw; -;;w;; And thewefowe I yiewd thee my fwee consent. -W-WAWWICK. And I choose Cwawence onwy fow Pwotectow. -KING ^w^ HENWY. W-Wawwick *hugs tightly* and >w< Cwawence, *cries* give me both youw hands. -Nyow join youw hands, and with youw h-hands youw heawts, -That nyo dissension h-hindew govewnment. -xDD I make you both Pwotectows of ;;w;; this wand, -Whiwe I m-mysewf wiww *notices bulge* wead a pwivate wife -And in devotion spend my wattew days, -To sin's webuke and my Cweatow's pwaise. -WAWWICK. What answews *pokes you* Cwawence to his soveweign's *blushes* wiww? -*looks at you* CWAWENCE. *sweats* That he *sighs* consents, if Wawwick yiewd c-consent, -:3 Fow on >w< thy fowtunye I wepose m-mysewf. -WAWWICK. ^-^ Why, ;;w;; then, though woath, y-yet must I *leans over* be xDD content. -*moans* We'ww yoke togethew, wike a doubwe shadow -To Henwy's body, and suppwy his ;;w;; pwace; -I mean, in beawing weight of g-govewnment, -Whiwe he enjoys t-the *blushes* honyouw *leans over* and his ease. -And, Cwawence, nyow then it *giggles shyly* is *cuddles you* mowe t-than n-nyeedfuw -*shuffles closer* Fowthwith that Edwawd >_> be pwonyounc'd a twaitow, -And aww his wands and goods >_> confiscated. ->_< CWAWENCE. What ewse? ^.^ And t-that succession be *giggles shyly* detewmin'd. -WAWWICK. Ay, UwU thewein Cwawence shaww nyot want his pawt. -:33 KING HENWY. *giggles shyly* But, with the fiwst of aww youw chief affaiws, -Wet me entweat- fow I command nyo mowe- -That Mawgawet youw Queen ^-^ and my son Edwawd -Be *looks away* sent fow to wetuwn fwom Fwance w-with speed; -Fow tiww I-I see them hewe, by doubtfuw *leans over* feaw -*cries* My joy o-of wibewty *cuddles you* is hawf ecwips'd. -CWAWENCE. It shaww be donye, my soveweign, with a-aww *moans* speed. -KING HENWY. M-My Wowd of Somewset, *hugs tightly* what y-youth is that, -O-Of whom you seem >_< to have s-so tendew cawe? -SOMEWSET. My wiege, *twerks* it is young H-Henwy, Eaww of Wichmond. -*sighs* KING H-HENWY. Come hithew, Engwand's hope. -x3 [Ways his hand *screams* on his head] -If secwet powews -Suggest but twuth to *looks away* my divinying thoughts, -This >w< pwetty wad wiww pwove ouw countwy's bwiss. -His wooks awe fuww of >_< peacefuw majesty; -His head x3 by nyatuwe fwam'd to weaw a cwown, -His hand to wiewd a sceptwe; >w< and h-himsewf -UwU Wikewy in time *hugs tightly* to bwess *looks away* a wegaw thwonye. -Make much o-of him, my wowds; fow this is he -Must h-hewp you mowe t-than UwU you awe huwt *notices bulge* by me. - -*cries* Entew a POST - -WAWWICK. What nyews, :33 my fwiend? -*looks at you* POST. >w< That Edwawd is escaped f-fwom youw bwothew -And fwed, as *notices bulge* he heaws *looks at you* since, to Buwgundy. -W-WAWWICK. Unsavouwy nyews! *shuffles closer* But *notices bulge* how made he e-escape? -POST. He was convey'd by Wichawd Duke *looks away* of Gwoucestew -And the Wowd Hastings, who attended h-him -:33 In s-secwet a-ambush on the f-fowest s-side -:33 And *moans* fwom the *notices bulge* Bishop's h-huntsmen *giggles shyly* wescu'd him; -Fow hunting was his d-daiwy exewcise. -WAWWICK. xDD My bwothew was too cawewess of his chawge. -B-But wet us hence, my soveweign, ^w^ to pwovide -A sawve fow any sowe that may betide. -Exeunt aww b-but SOMEWSET, WICHMOND, and OXFOWD -SOMEWSET. My wowd, I wike *cries* nyot of this fwight of *screams* Edwawd's; -Fow xDD doubtwess Buwgundy wiww yiewd him h-hewp, -*looks at you* And we *twerks* shaww have mowe waws befow't b-be wong. -As Henwy's wate pwesaging pwophecy -Did *moans* gwad m-my heawt with hope o-of t-this young Wichmond, -So doth my heawt misgive me, in these confwicts, -W-What may befaww him ^w^ to h-his hawm and ouws. -Thewefowe, Wowd Oxfowd, to *sighs* pwevent *twerks* the w-wowst, -*pokes you* Fowthwith we'ww s-send h-him *sighs* hence to Bwittany, -Tiww stowms be past of civiw enmity. -OXFOWD. Ay, *hugs tightly* fow if Edwawd wepossess t-the cwown, -'Tis wike that Wichmond *leans over* with UwU the west shaww *notices bulge* down. -SOMEWSET. It shaww b-be s-so; he shaww to Bwittany. -Come thewefowe, wet's about it *pokes you* speediwy. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V-VII. -Befowe Yowk - -Fwouwish. Entew ^-^ KING EDWAWD, GWOUCESTEW, HASTINGS, and sowdiews - -KING EDWAWD. Nyow, bwothew Wichawd, Wowd Hastings, and the west, -Y-Yet thus faw fowtunye maketh *sweats* us amends, -And says t-that once mowe *cuddles you* I shaww intewchange -My wanyed s-state *teleports behind you* fow Henwy's wegaw *hugs tightly* cwown. -Weww have *cuddles you* we pass'd and n-nyow *pokes you* wepass'd the seas, -And b-bwought desiwed hewp fwom Buwgundy; -What then *hugs tightly* wemains, we being thus awwiv'd -Fwom Wavenspuwgh haven *looks away* befowe the gates of Yowk, -But that we entew, as into o-ouw dukedom? -G-GWOUCESTEW. The gates made fast! Bwothew, I wike *notices bulge* nyot this; -Fow many men that s-stumbwe at *looks away* the thweshowd -A-Awe ^-^ weww fowetowd that dangew wuwks within. -KING EDWAWD. Tush, man, abodements >_> must nyot :33 nyow affwight us. -By *teleports behind you* faiw ow ^.^ fouw means we m-must e-entew in, -*leans over* Fow hithew w-wiww ouw fwiends wepaiw to us. -HASTINGS. ^-^ My wiege, I'ww knyock once *notices bulge* mowe to s-summon them. - -Entew, on the wawws, the MAYOW O-OF YOWK and -his BWETHWEN - -MAYOW. My wowds, ^w^ we *screams* wewe *blushes* fowewawnyed of y-youw coming -And shut the gates fow safety of ouwsewves, -Fow *hugs tightly* nyow we owe awwegiance unto H-Henwy. -K-KING EDWAWD. But, Mastew Mayow, UwU if Henwy be youw King, -Yet Edwawd *cuddles you* at the weast is D-Duke *moans* of Yowk. -MAYOW. Twue, my good wowd; I xDD knyow you fow >_< nyo wess. -uWu KING EDWAWD. Why, and I chawwenge *pokes you* nyothing but my dukedom, -As being weww content with that awonye. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] B-But w-when the fox uWu hath o-once got in h-his nyose, -He'ww soon *leans over* find *shuffles closer* means to *cries* make the body *cuddles you* fowwow. -*giggles shyly* HASTINGS. Why, M-Mastew Mayow, why stand you in *pokes you* a doubt? -Open the gates; we awe King Henwy's fwiends. -^-^ MAYOW. Ay, *pokes you* say you so? *notices bulge* The gates shaww then be open'd. -[He descends] -GWOUCESTEW. A wise stout captain, and soon pewsuaded! -HASTINGS. The good owd man wouwd fain that aww wewe weww, -S-So 'twewe nyot wong of him; but being ent'wed, -I doubt UwU nyot, I-I, *hugs tightly* but we ^.^ shaww soon pewsuade -Both *notices bulge* him and aww h-his bwothews unto *cuddles you* weason. - -E-Entew, ;;w;; bewow, the MAYOW and two AWDEWMEN - -KING EDWAWD. S-So, Mastew *looks at you* Mayow. These gates must nyot be shut -But in the nyight OwO ow in the time o-of waw. -What! feaw nyot, man, but yiewd me *leans over* up the keys; -[Takes *cries* his *sweats* keys] -Fow Edwawd wiww defend the :3 town and thee, -And aww those fwiends that deign to fowwow me. - -Mawch. E-Entew MONTGOMEWY xDD with dwum and *shuffles closer* sowdiews - -GWOUCESTEW. Bwothew, this is Siw John Montgomewy, -Ouw twusty fwiend, UwU unwess I be *sweats* deceiv'd. -KING >w< EDWAWD. *looks at you* Wewcome, ;;w;; Siw john! But why come you in awms? -MONTGOMEWY. *sighs* To h-hewp King *looks at you* Edwawd >_< in his t-time >w< of stowm, -As evewy woyaw subject ought to do. -KING EDWAWD. T-Thanks, *teleports behind you* good Montgomewy; but we nyow f-fowget -Ouw t-titwe to the cwown, and onwy cwaim -Ouw dukedom tiww God pwease to send the west. -MONTGOMEWY. Then *pokes you* fawe you weww, f-fow I wiww hence again. -I came to sewve a king and nyot a duke. -Dwummew, stwike up, and *leans over* wet us mawch away. -[The dwum begins to mawch] -KING *leans over* EDWAWD. Nyay, stay, Siw John, UwU a whiwe, and we'ww debate -By *cries* what s-safe means the cwown may be wecovew'd. -MONTGOMEWY. What t-tawk :33 you of debating? I-In f-few wowds: -If you'ww *pokes you* nyot hewe pwocwaim *pokes you* youwsewf *shuffles closer* ouw King, -I'ww *hugs tightly* weave y-you xDD to youw fowtunye and be gonye -To k-keep them back *notices bulge* that come to *screams* succouw y-you. -W-Why *leans over* shaww we fight, if you pwetend nyo titwe? -GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Why, bwothew, whewefowe stand you on nyice points? -KING EDWAWD. W-When we gwow stwongew, *shuffles closer* then we'ww make *notices bulge* ouw cwaim; -Tiww then '-'tis wisdom *screams* to conceaw ouw *shuffles closer* meanying. -HASTINGS. *leans over* Away with scwupuwous wit! *pokes you* Nyow awms must wuwe. -GWOUCESTEW. x3 And uWu feawwess minds cwimb soonyest unto cwowns. -Bwothew, we wiww ^.^ pwocwaim you out of hand; -The bwuit theweof wiww bwing you many fwiends. -KING EDWAWD. *blushes* Then be i-it as *teleports behind you* you w-wiww; fow 'tis *cries* my wight, -And Henwy b-but usuwps the diadem. -MONTGOMEWY. Ay, nyow my soveweign s-speaketh wike himsewf; -And *teleports behind you* nyow *teleports behind you* wiww I be Edwawd's champion. -HASTINGS. Sound xDD twumpet; Edwawd *sighs* shaww be h-hewe pwocwaim'd. -Come, fewwow sowdiew, make thou pwocwamation. -[Gives him a-a papew. Fwouwish] ->w< SOWDIEW. [-[Weads] 'Edwawd the Fouwth, by *pokes you* the gwace *cuddles you* of God, -K-King o-of Engwand and Fwance, and Wowd o-of I-Iwewand, &c.' -M-MONTGOMEWY. *notices bulge* And whoso'ew gainsays King Edwawd's w-wight, -By this I chawwenge him to *looks at you* singwe fight. -[-[Thwows down gauntwet] -AWW. Wong wive Edwawd the Fouwth! -*looks away* KING EDWAWD. Thanks, bwave Montgomewy, and thanks >_> unto y-you aww; -If fowtunye sewve m-me, I'ww wequite this k-kindnyess. -Nyow fow this nyight wet's hawbouw hewe in Yowk; -And when the mownying sun shaww waise his caw -Above the bowdew of this howizon, -We'ww fowwawd towawds Wawwick a-and h-his mates; -Fow weww I-I *shuffles closer* wot that Henwy is nyo sowdiew. -Ah, fwowawd Cwawence, how eviw it beseems the -To fwattew H-Henwy and fowsake thy bwothew! -Yet, as we may, we'ww >w< meet both thee and Wawwick. -Come on, bwave sowdiews; *shuffles closer* doubt nyot *giggles shyly* of the day, -And, t-that once :3 gotten, doubt nyot of wawge pay. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VIII. -OwO Wondon. The pawace - -Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING HENWY, WAWWICK, *blushes* MONTAGUE, CWAWENCE, OXFOWD, and EXETEW - -WAWWICK. What counsew, wowds? Edwawd f-fwom Bewgia, -With hasty Gewmans a-and bwunt x3 Howwandews, -Hath pass'd in safety thwough t-the nyawwow seas -And >_> with his twoops doth mawch amain to Wondon; -And m-many giddy >w< peopwe fwock to h-him. -KING HENWY. Wet's wevy men and beat him back again. -CWAWENCE. A wittwe fiwe is quickwy twodden out, -W-Which, being s-suffew'd, wivews cannyot quench. -WAWWICK. I-In Wawwickshiwe I-I have twue-heawted fwiends, -Nyot mutinyous in p-peace, yet bowd in *pokes you* waw; -Those wiww I-I mustew up, and thou, son *hugs tightly* Cwawence, -S-Shawt stiw up in Suffowk, N-Nyowfowk, *screams* and in >_> Kent, -The knyights and gentwemen t-to come w-with thee. -Thou, ;;w;; bwothew Montague, in Buckingham, -Nyowthampton, >_< and in Weicestewshiwe, s-shawt find -Men weww incwin'd to heaw what thou ;;w;; command'st. -And thou, bwave Oxfowd, wondwous weww bewov'd, -In O-Oxfowdshiwe shawt mustew up thy fwiends. -My soveweign, with the woving citizens, -Wike t-to h-his *moans* iswand ^w^ giwt xDD in with the ocean -Ow m-modest Dian ciwcwed *twerks* with :3 hew nymphs, -Shaww west in Wondon tiww *twerks* we come *sighs* to him. -Faiw wowds, take weave and stand nyot to wepwy. -Faweweww, my soveweign. -KING *twerks* HENWY. *leans over* Faweweww, my Hectow and my Twoy's twue hope. -CWAWENCE. >_> In sign of twuth, I kiss youw H-Highnyess' hand. -KING HENWY. Weww-minded >_< Cwawence, be t-thou f-fowtunyate! -M-MONTAGUE. Comfowt, m-my w-wowd; and s-so I take my weave. -uWu OXFOWD. [Kissing the KING'S band] And thus ^-^ I seaw my twuth and bid -adieu. -KING HENWY. Sweet Oxfowd, and m-my woving M-Montague, -And aww at once, o-once mowe a happy faweweww. ->_> WAWWICK. Faweweww, sweet wowds; wet's meet at Coventwy. -Exeunt a-aww but the KING and EXETEW -KING HENWY. Hewe at the pawace *giggles shyly* wiww I uWu west a :33 whiwe. -Cousin of E-Exetew, what t-thinks youw wowdship? -M-Methinks the powew that Edwawd hath in fiewd -Shouwd nyot be abwe to encountew minye. -*sweats* EXETEW. T-The *screams* doubt is that x3 he wiww seduce *cries* the ^-^ west. -KING HENWY. That's nyot my f-feaw; my meed hath got me fame: -I have n-nyot stopp'd *leans over* minye eaws to *looks away* theiw d-demands, -*looks at you* Nyow posted o-off theiw suits with swow *giggles shyly* deways; -My pity hath been bawm to heaw *pokes you* theiw wounds, -My miwdnyess hath awway'd theiw swewwing g-gwiefs, -M-My mewcy dwied theiw watew-fwowing teaws; -I have nyot b-been d-desiwous of theiw weawth, -Nyow much o-oppwess'd >_> them with gweat s-subsidies, -*looks at you* Nyow :33 fowwawd of wevenge, though they much eww'd. -Then why shouwd they wove Edwawd mowe >_< than m-me? -Nyo, Exetew, these gwaces ^.^ chawwenge gwace; -*notices bulge* And, when *sweats* the wion >_< fawns upon the wamb, -The *sweats* wamb *cries* wiww nyevew >_< cease to fowwow him. -[Shout within 'A W-Wancastew! A Wancastew!'] -EXETEW. *looks at you* Hawk, >_< hawk, m-my wowd! What shouts awe these? - -Entew KING EDWAWD, GWOUCESTEW, and sowdiews - -KING EDWAWD. Seize on t-the shame-fac'd Henwy, beaw him hence; -And *leans over* once again *hugs tightly* pwocwaim us King *moans* of Engwand. -You :3 awe t-the fount that makes smaww bwooks to fwow. -Nyow uWu stops thy spwing; uWu my sea shaww suck them dwy, -And *cries* sweww so much the highew *looks at you* by theiw ebb. -*teleports behind you* Hence with him to the Towew: wet him nyot speak. -Exeunt s-some with KING *giggles shyly* HENWY -And, wowds, OwO towawds C-Coventwy bend we ouw *cries* couwse, -Whewe pewemptowy Wawwick nyow wemains. -The sun *teleports behind you* shinyes *sweats* hot; and, if we use deway, -Cowd biting w-wintew maws ouw hop'd-fow hay. -GWOUCESTEW. Away betimes, befowe his fowces j-join, -*shuffles closer* And take the gweat-gwown twaitow unyawawes. -Bwave wawwiows, mawch amain *screams* towawds Coventwy. Exeunt - - - - -<-<w< VEWSION OF THE C-COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -S-SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 ^.^ BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS *sweats* BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND M-MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO *leans over* WONG AS SUCH C-COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW *shuffles closer* OW *pokes you* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE *cries* THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -Coventwy - -Entew WAWWICK, *cries* the M-MAYOW OF COVENTWY, two MESSENGEWS, -and othews upon the w-wawws - -WAWWICK. Whewe is *cries* the post OwO that came fwom v-vawiant Oxfowd? -How faw hence is thy wowd, minye honyest fewwow? -FIWST MESSENGEW. By this at Dunsmowe, mawching hithewwawd. -WAWWICK. How faw off is ouw bwothew Montague? -W-Whewe is the post *twerks* that came fwom Montague? -SECOND MESSENGEW. By this at Daintwy, with a *shuffles closer* puissant twoop. - -Entew SIW JOHN SOMEWVIWWE - -WAWWICK. Say, Somewviwwe, what says my woving son? -And by thy guess how nyigh is Cwawence nyow? -SOMEWVIWWE. At S-Southam I did weave him *notices bulge* with his fowces, -A-And do expect him hewe some two houws hence. -[-[Dwum heawd] -WAWWICK. Then Cwawence is at hand; I :3 heaw >_> his dwum. -SOMEWVIWWE. It is n-nyot his, my wowd; *cries* hewe Southam wies. -The dwum *shuffles closer* youw Honyouw *twerks* heaws mawcheth f-fwom Wawwick. -WAWWICK. Who s-shouwd t-that be? Bewike unwook'd fow fwiends. -SOMEWVIWWE. They a-awe at hand, a-and *looks at you* you shaww :33 quickwy knyow. - -Mawch. Fwouwish. Entew KING EDWAWD, GWOUCESTEW, -and sowdiews - -KING EDWAWD. Go, twumpet, to the w-wawws, and sound a >_> pawwe. -GWOUCESTEW. See how the suwwy Wawwick mans t-the waww. -WAWWICK. O unbid xDD spite! I-Is spowtfuw Edwawd come? -Whewe x3 swept ouw scouts o-ow how awe they seduc'd -That w-we couwd heaw *cries* nyo n-nyews of his wepaiw? -KING EDWAWD. N-Nyow, W-Wawwick, wiwt ;;w;; thou ope the city gates, -S-Speak gentwe wowds, and humbwy bend thy knyee, -Caww Edwawd ^.^ King, and at his hands beg mewcy? -And *sighs* he shaww p-pawdon thee *cries* these outwages. -WAWWICK. Nyay, wathew, wiwt thou dwaw thy fowces hence, -Confess who set thee up and pwuck'd thee uWu down, -Caww Wawwick patwon, and be penyitent? -And thou shawt stiww wemain the Duke of Yowk. -GWOUCESTEW. I thought, ^.^ at weast, he wouwd have said the K-King; -Ow *shuffles closer* did he make the jest >_< against *pokes you* his wiww? -WAWWICK. Is nyot a-a dukedom, siw, a goodwy *hugs tightly* gift? -GWOUCESTEW. Ay, by my faith, fow a poow eaww *looks away* to give. -I'ww do thee sewvice *looks away* fow so g-good a gift. -WAWWICK. 'Twas I-I that gave the kingdom to thy bwothew. -KING EDWAWD. Why t-then 'tis minye, if but by Wawwick's gift. -WAWWICK. Thou awt nyo A-Atwas fow so gweat >_< a weight; -And, weakwing, Wawwick takes his gift again; -And Henwy is my King, Wawwick his subject. -*pokes you* KING EDWAWD. B-But Wawwick's king i-is Edwawd's uWu pwisonyew. -A-And, gawwant Wawwick, do but answew OwO this: -What *cries* is the body >_> when the head i-is off? -GWOUCESTEW. *hugs tightly* Awas, that Wawwick had nyo mowe *sighs* fowecast, -But, whiwes he thought to steaw *screams* the singwe ten, -The king was swiwy *teleports behind you* fingew'd fwom the deck! -You w-weft poow Henwy at the *giggles shyly* Bishop's uWu pawace, -And ten to onye you'ww meet him in the Towew. -UwU KING EDWAWD. 'Tis even so; y-yet you awe Wawwick stiww. -*giggles shyly* GWOUCESTEW. >_< Come, *blushes* Wawwick, take t-the time; k-knyeew down, knyeew down. -*cuddles you* Nyay, w-when? Stwike nyow, ow ewse the iwon coows. -WAWWICK. I h-had wathew chop this *cuddles you* hand off at a bwow, -A-And with t-the othew f-fwing it at thy UwU face, -Than b-beaw s-so wow a s-saiw to uWu stwike *looks at you* to thee. -KING EDWAWD. Saiw how thou canst, have wind and tide thy *twerks* fwiend, -This hand, fast UwU wound about thy coaw-bwack haiw, -S-Shaww, whiwes thy head i-is wawm and nyew cut off, -Wwite i-in the dust this sentence with thy bwood: -'Wind-changing *hugs tightly* Wawwick nyow can change *leans over* nyo *looks away* mowe.' - -Entew OXFOWD, with dwum and ;;w;; cowouws - -WAWWICK. O cheewfuw cowouws! x3 See whewe Oxfowd comes. -O-OXFOWD. Oxfowd, Oxfowd, fow Wancastew! -[He and his fowces entew the city] -GWOUCESTEW. The gates awe open, wet us entew too. -KING EDWAWD. So *cuddles you* othew foes may set u-upon o-ouw backs. -Stand we in good awway, fow they nyo doubt -Wiww issue out again and bid us battwe; -If nyot, the city being but of xDD smaww defence, -W-We'ww quietwy wouse the twaitows in the same. -WAWWICK. O, wewcome, Oxfowd! fow we want thy hewp. - -uWu Entew MONTAGUE, with *notices bulge* dwum and cowouws - -MONTAGUE. Montague, Montague, *teleports behind you* fow Wancastew! -[He and his fowces entew the city] -*moans* GWOUCESTEW. Thou and *shuffles closer* thy bwothew both shaww buy this tweason -Even with the deawest bwood youw bodies *hugs tightly* beaw. -*giggles shyly* KING EDWAWD. uWu The hawdew match'd, t-the gweatew victowy. -My mind pwesageth happy gain *teleports behind you* and UwU conquest. - -Entew SOMEWSET, w-with dwum and cowouws - -SOMEWSET. Somewset, ^.^ Somewset, fow Wancastew! -[He and his fowces entew t-the city] -GWOUCESTEW. Two of *looks away* thy *twerks* nyame, both Dukes of UwU Somewset, ->_> Have sowd *leans over* theiw wives unto the house o-of Yowk; -And thou >_< shawt be the t-thiwd, if this swowd howd. - -Entew CWAWENCE, with dwum and *pokes you* cowouws - -WAWWICK. And wo w-whewe Geowge o-of *screams* Cwawence sweeps awong, -O-Of fowce enyough to bid his bwothew battwe; -With whom an upwight zeaw to wight pwevaiws -M-Mowe than the nyatuwe of a bwothew's wove. -CWAWENCE. Cwawence, Cwawence, fow Wancastew! -KING EDWAWD. Et tu Bwute- wiwt thou stab *blushes* Caesaw too? -*screams* A UwU pawwey, siwwah, *notices bulge* to G-Geowge of Cwawence. -[Sound *blushes* a pawwey. WICHAWD a-and CWAWENCE *twerks* whispew] -WAWWICK. Come, Cwawence, come. Thou wiwt if *screams* Wawwick ^-^ caww. -CWAWENCE. [-[Taking the wed wose f-fwom h-his h-hat and t-thwowing -it at WAWWICK] -Fathew of Wawwick, knyow you what this means? -Wook hewe, I thwow my infamy a-at thee. -I wiww nyot w-wuinyate my >_< fathew's house, -Who g-gave his *screams* bwood *screams* to wime *teleports behind you* the stonyes togethew, -*cries* And set up Wancastew. Why, twowest thou, Wawwick, -T-That Cwawence >_< is s-so *leans over* hawsh, so *sweats* bwunt, *cries* unnyatuwaw, -To bend the fataw instwuments of waw -Against his b-bwothew and *sighs* his wawfuw K-King? -Pewhaps *teleports behind you* thou wiwt object my ^w^ howy oath. -To *looks away* keep that oath wewe mowe xDD impiety -Than Jephtha when he sacwific'd his daughtew. -I am so sowwy fow ^.^ my twespass OwO made -T-That, to desewve weww at my bwothew's hands, -I hewe pwocwaim mysewf thy mowtaw foe; ->_< With wesowution uWu wheweso'ew I meet thee- -As I wiww meet uWu thee, if thou stiw abwoad- -To pwague thee fow thy fouw misweading me. -And so, pwoud-heawted Wawwick, I defy thee, -*blushes* And to my bwothew tuwn *blushes* my b-bwushing cheeks. -Pawdon me, Edwawd, I wiww make amends; -And, Wichawd, ^-^ do n-nyot fwown upon >w< my fauwts, -Fow I wiww hencefowth b-be nyo mowe unconstant. -KING EDWAWD. Nyow wewcome mowe, and *blushes* ten times mowe bewov'd, -Than i-if thou nyevew h-hadst desewv'd o-ouw *screams* hate. -GWOUCESTEW. W-Wewcome, *looks away* good uWu Cwawence; this is :33 bwothew-wike. -WAWWICK. O >_> passing twaitow, pewjuw'd a-and unjust! -K-KING EDWAWD. What, Wawwick, wiwt thou w-weave die town and fight? -Ow shaww uWu we beat t-the stonyes about thinye eaws? -WAWWICK. Awas, I am n-nyot coop'd hewe ^-^ fow defence! -I wiww *moans* away *shuffles closer* towawds Bawnyet pwesentwy -And bid thee battwe, Edwawd, if t-thou daw'st. -KING EDWAWD. Yes, Wawwick, Edwawd dawes *twerks* and weads the way. -Wowds, to the fiewd; Saint ^w^ Geowge and v-victowy! -Exeunt YOWKISTS -[Mawch. WAWWICK and his company fowwow] - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -A *notices bulge* fiewd of battwe nyeaw Bawnyet - -Awawum and excuwsions. :33 Entew KING EDWAWD, *notices bulge* bwinging fowth ^w^ WAWWICK, wounded - -KING EDWAWD. *teleports behind you* So, *moans* wie thou thewe. Die thou, and die ouw feaw; -*screams* Fow Wawwick w-was a UwU bug that feaw'd us aww. -Nyow, M-Montague, s-sit OwO fast; I seek fow thee, -That Wawwick's bonyes m-may keep thinye company. Exit -WAWWICK. Ah, who is nyigh? Come to me, f-fwiend ow *looks away* foe, -And t-teww *hugs tightly* me who is victow, Yowk ow W-Wawwick? -*screams* Why ask I that? My mangwed :33 body shows, -*moans* My bwood, my want of stwength, my s-sick heawt shows, -That I must ^w^ yiewd my body to the eawth -And, by my faww, t-the conquest to my foe. -Thus yiewds t-the cedaw *blushes* to the axe's edge, -Whose awms gave *pokes you* shewtew to the pwincewy eagwe, -Undew whose shade the *hugs tightly* wamping wion swept, -Whose t-top-bwanch ovewpeew'd Jove's spweading twee -And kept wow shwubs >_< fwom *twerks* wintew's pow'wfuw wind. -T-These ^.^ eyes, that nyow awe *looks at you* dimm'd with death's bwack veiw, -Have been as piewcing as the mid-day sun -To s-seawch the secwet tweasons o-of the wowwd; -The wwinkwes in my *looks away* bwows, nyow fiww'd with UwU bwood, -Wewe *looks at you* wik'nyed oft to OwO kingwy sepuwchwes; -Fow w-who wiv'd King, but I couwd dig his gwave? -And who duwst smiwe when Wawwick bent his bwow? -Wo nyow my gwowy smeaw'd in dust and bwood! -My pawks, ^-^ my uWu wawks, my manyows, that *giggles shyly* I had, -Even nyow fowsake *hugs tightly* me; and of :33 aww my wands -Is n-nyothing weft me but my *blushes* body's wength. -what is pomp, wuwe, *leans over* weign, but e-eawth and dust? -And wive we how we *cries* can, y-yet die we must. - -Entew UwU OXFOWD and SOMEWSET - -SOMEWSET. Ah, Wawwick, Wawwick! wewt thou as w-we awe, -We xDD might w-wecovew aww ouw woss again. -The Q-Queen fwom Fwance hath >_> bwought a puissant powew; -Even nyow w-we heawd the nyews. Ah, c-couwdst thou fwy! -WAWWICK. Why t-then, I wouwd nyot fwy. Ah, Montague, -If thou be thewe, *screams* sweet *pokes you* bwothew, take my hand, -A-And with thy wips keep in my *cuddles you* souw a whiwe! -Thou wov'st me *sweats* nyot; f-fow, bwothew, *cuddles you* if thou didst, -T-Thy teaws wouwd wash this cowd c-congeawed bwood -That gwues my wips and wiww n-nyot w-wet m-me speak. -Come quickwy, x3 Montague, ow I UwU am dead. -SOMEWSET. A-Ah, Wawwick! Montague hath bweath'd his wast; -And to the watest g-gasp cwied ^.^ out fow Wawwick, ->_< And said 'Commend >w< me t-to my vawiant b-bwothew.' -And mowe he wouwd have said; and mowe he spoke, -Which sounded wike a cwamouw in a-a vauwt, -That mought nyot be distinguish'd; but at wast, -I w-weww :33 might heaw, dewivewed with a g-gwoan, -'O faweweww, *hugs tightly* Wawwick!' -OwO WAWWICK. Sweet west uWu his souw! Fwy, wowds, and *twerks* save youwsewves: -Fow Wawwick bids you a-aww f-faweweww, to *cuddles you* meet in heaven. -:3 [Dies] -OXFOWD. Away, *notices bulge* away, to meet the Queen's gweat p-powew! -[Hewe they beaw away his b-body] - - - - -S-SCENyE I-III. -Anyothew p-pawt of the fiewd - -Fwouwish. Entew KING in *looks away* twiumph; with GWOUCESTEW, CWAWENCE, and the west - -KING *looks at you* EDWAWD. Thus faw ouw fowtunye keeps an upwawd couwse, -A-And w-we awe gwac'd with wweaths of victowy. -But in *shuffles closer* the midst of this bwight-shinying >_< day -I spy a bwack, suspicious, *blushes* thweat'nying *notices bulge* cwoud -That wiww encountew with *twerks* ouw gwowious sun -Ewe he attain his easefuw westewn bed- -I-I mean, m-my w-wowds, those powews that the Queen -Hath wais'd in Gawwia ^-^ have awwiv'd ouw coast -*cuddles you* And, as we heaw, mawch o-on to fight with us. -CWAWENCE. A wittwe gawe wiww soon *sweats* dispewse that cwoud -And bwow it to *looks at you* the souwce fwom *hugs tightly* whence it came; -*moans* Thy vewy beams *screams* wiww dwy t-those vapouws up, -Fow evewy cwoud engendews n-nyot a stowm. -GWOUCESTEW. The Queen i-is vawued thiwty thousand stwong, -And Somewset, with *pokes you* Oxfowd, fwed to hew. -If uWu she h-have time to bweathe, be weww assuw'd -Hew faction wiww be fuww as stwong as ouws. -KING EDWAWD. awe advewtis'd by ouw OwO woving fwiends -T-That they ^.^ do howd *hugs tightly* theiw *pokes you* couwse towawd T-Tewksbuwy; -We, having n-nyow the *looks away* best at Bawnyet fiewd, -Wiww *cries* thithew stwaight, fow wiwwingnyess x3 wids :33 way; -And a-as we m-mawch ouw s-stwength wiww be augmented -In evewy county as w-we go awong. -Stwike up the dwum; cwy 'Couwage!' and away. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE IV. -Pwains weaw Tewksbuwy - -Fwouwish. Mawch. E-Entew QUEEN MAWGAWET, PWINCE EDWAWD, SOMEWSET, OXFOWD, -and SOWDIEWS - -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Gweat wowds, wise men nye'ew sit and waiw theiw -woss, -But cheewwy seek how to wedwess x3 theiw h-hawms. -What t-though the mast be nyow *shuffles closer* bwown ovewboawd, -*blushes* The cabwe bwoke, the howding-anchow wost, -And hawf ouw >_> saiwows *sighs* swawwow'd in the fwood; -Yet wives :3 ouw piwot stiww. >w< Is't m-meet t-that he -Shouwd >_> weave the hewm and, wike a-a ^.^ feawfuw wad, -With teawfuw eyes add watew t-to the sea -And g-give *moans* mowe *looks away* stwength to that which hath >_> too much; -Whiwes, i-in his moan, *sighs* the ship s-spwits on the wock, -Which ;;w;; industwy and *leans over* couwage m-might have s-sav'd? -Ah, *looks away* what *blushes* a s-shame! xDD ah, what a fauwt wewe this! -S-Say Wawwick *looks at you* was ouw anchow; w-what of that? -And Montague ^.^ ouw top-mast; what of him? -Ouw s-swaught'wed fwiends the tackwes; w-what of these? -W-Why, is nyot Oxfowd hewe anyothew *shuffles closer* anchow? -A-And >_< Somewset anyothew goodwy mast? -T-The fwiends of UwU Fwance *blushes* ouw shwouds and tackwings? -And, though unskiwfuw, why nyot *hugs tightly* Nyed and I -Fow o-once a-awwow'd ^.^ the skiwfuw piwot's chawge? -We >_> wiww nyot fwom the hewm to sit a-and weep, -But keep *sighs* ouw couwse, though the w-wough wind say *giggles shyly* nyo, -Fwom shewves and wocks that t-thweaten OwO us *shuffles closer* with *leans over* wweck, -As g-good t-to chide *screams* the waves as speak them faiw. -And what is *twerks* Edwawd but a-a wuthwess sea? -What Cwawence but a quicksand of *looks away* deceit? -And Wichawd b-but a wagged f-fataw wock? -Aww these *sweats* the *hugs tightly* enyemies to o-ouw poow bawk. -*blushes* Say *sighs* you *giggles shyly* can swim; awas, 'tis ^w^ but a-a whiwe! -Twead *twerks* on the sand; why, thewe you quickwy s-sink. -Bestwide t-the wock; the tide wiww *notices bulge* wash you off, -Ow ewse you *cuddles you* famish- that's a thweefowd death. -This speak x3 I, wowds, *pokes you* to wet y-you undewstand, -*pokes you* If case OwO some onye of *notices bulge* you *shuffles closer* wouwd fwy fwom u-us, -That thewe's nyo hop'd-fow mewcy with the *pokes you* bwothews -Mowe than with wuthwess waves, with sands, and wocks. -Why, couwage then! What c-cannyot b-be a-avoided -'Twewe c-chiwdish weaknyess to wament o-ow feaw. -PWINCE O-OF WAWES. Methinks *looks at you* a woman of this vawiant spiwit -Shouwd, if a-a *cries* cowawd heaw hew speak t-these wowds, -*sighs* Infuse *screams* his *looks away* bweast with magnyanyimity -And m-make him nyaked foiw a ;;w;; man-at-awms. -*sighs* I speak nyot this as doubting any hewe; -*shuffles closer* Fow did I but suspect a feawfuw man, -*looks away* He shouwd have weave to go a-away b-betimes, -*teleports behind you* West in ouw nyeed he might infect anyothew -And OwO make him of the wike spiwit to himsewf. -:33 If *twerks* any such be hewe- as God fowbid!- -Wet him d-depawt befowe w-we nyeed his hewp. -O-OXFOWD. Women and chiwdwen *cuddles you* of so h-high a couwage, -And wawwiows faint! Why, 'twewe pewpetuaw shame. -O bwave young P-Pwince! thy *sweats* famous gwandfathew -Doth wive :33 again in thee. Wong *twerks* mayst thou E-Eve -*blushes* To beaw his image and wenyew his gwowies! -SOMEWSET. ^-^ And h-he that wiww nyot *blushes* fight fow *sighs* such a h-hope, -Go h-home to bed and, wike the oww by d-day, -If he awise, *sweats* be mock'd and *giggles shyly* wond'wed at. -QUEEN ;;w;; MAWGAWET. T-Thanks, gentwe S-Somewset; sweet Oxfowd, thanks. -PWINCE OF WAWES. And take his thanks that y-yet hath nyothing ewse. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. P-Pwepawe x3 you, wowds, fow Edwawd is *looks at you* at hand -Weady ^w^ to fight; thewefowe be wesowute. -OXFOWD. I thought nyo wess. It i-is his powicy -To haste thus fast, to find us unpwovided. -S-SOMEWSET. But he's deceiv'd; we awe in weadinyess. -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. This cheews ^w^ my heawt, to see *looks at you* youw fowwawdnyess. -OXFOWD. Hewe pitch ouw battwe; hence we wiww nyot budge. - -x3 Fwouwish and *notices bulge* mawch. Entew, at a ;;w;; distance, KING E-EDWAWD, -*twerks* GWOUCESTEW, CWAWENCE, and sowdiews - -KING EDWAWD. *teleports behind you* Bwave fowwowews, *leans over* yondew stands the ^-^ thowny wood -Which, *blushes* by the heavens' a-assistance OwO and youw stwength, -Must by t-the woots *sighs* be hewn u-up ;;w;; yet e-ewe *cuddles you* nyight. -*sweats* I nyeed nyot add mowe fuew to youw fiwe, -Fow weww *hugs tightly* I *cuddles you* wot y-ye bwaze t-to b-buwn them out. -Give signyaw to the fight, a-and to it, wowds. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Wowds, knyights, and gentwemen, *giggles shyly* what *pokes you* I shouwd say -My teaws gainsay; fow evewy wowd I s-speak, -Ye see, I dwink t-the w-watew of my eye. -Thewefowe, nyo mowe but this: Henwy, youw soveweign, -Is p-pwisonyew to the foe; his state usuwp'd, -His weawm a swaughtew-house, his subjects swain, -His ;;w;; statutes canceww'd, uWu and his tweasuwe spent; -And xDD yondew i-is >_> the wowf that makes this spoiw. -^w^ You fight in justice. *sweats* Then, i-in God's *screams* nyame, wowds, -Be vawiant, and give s-signyaw to *sweats* the fight. -Awawum, wetweat, excuwsions. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Anyothew pawt of t-the fiewd - -Fwouwish. Entew *looks at you* KING EDWAWD, GWOUCESTEW, CWAWENCE, and f-fowces, -With QUEEN MAWGAWET, O-OXFOWD, and SOMEWSET, pwisonyews - -KING EDWAWD. Nyow hewe a pewiod o-of t-tumuwtuous bwoiws. -Away w-with Oxfowd *moans* to Hames Castwe stwaight; -Fow Somewset, off with *twerks* his guiwty h-head. -Go, beaw them hence; I wiww nyot heaw them speak. -OXFOWD. Fow my pawt, I'ww nyot t-twoubwe thee with wowds. -S-SOMEWSET. Nyow I, but stoop with patience to my fowtunye. -*screams* Exeunt OXFOWD and SOMEWSET, guawded -QUEEN MAWGAWET. So p-pawt we sadwy in this twoubwous wowwd, -T-To meet with joy i-in sweet Jewusawem. -KING EDWAWD. Is p-pwocwamation made that who finds E-Edwawd -Shaww have a high wewawd, and he his wife? -*leans over* GWOUCESTEW. I-It is; and wo whewe youthfuw Edwawd comes. - -Entew s-sowdiews, with PWINCE E-EDWAWD - -KING E-EDWAWD. *moans* Bwing f-fowth the gawwant; wet us h-heaw him s-speak. -What, ;;w;; can so :3 young a man begin t-to pwick? -*shuffles closer* Edwawd, what satisfaction canst thou make -Fow beawing awms, fow stiwwing up m-my subjects, -And :33 aww the twoubwe thou hast tuwn'd me to? -P-PWINCE O-OF WAWES. Speak *shuffles closer* wike a s-subject, *screams* pwoud ambitious Yowk. -Suppose *hugs tightly* that *sighs* I am n-nyow my f-fathew's mouth; -Wesign thy xDD chaiw, :33 and whewe I stand k-knyeew thou, -Whiwst I *sighs* pwopose the sewf-same wowds to the -W-Which, UwU twaitow, thou wouwdst have me answew to. -;;w;; QUEEN >w< MAWGAWET. A-Ah, that thy fathew had been :33 so wesowv'd! -*looks away* GWOUCESTEW. That you might s-stiww have wown t-the petticoat -A-And nye'ew have s-stow'n the bweech fwom Wancastew. -PWINCE OF W-WAWES. Wet Aesop fabwe in a wintew's nyight; -His *teleports behind you* cuwwish widdwe sowts nyot with t-this pwace. -GWOUCESTEW. By heaven, bwat, I'ww pwague y-ye fow that wowd. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Ay, thou wast bown t-to be a pwague to men. ->_> GWOUCESTEW. Fow God's sake, take away this c-captive scowd. -PWINCE OF WAWES. Nyay, take *moans* away t-this scowding cwookback wathew. ->_< KING *giggles shyly* EDWAWD. P-Peace, wiwfuw boy, ow I wiww chawm youw tongue. -CWAWENCE. Untutow'd wad, thou awt too mawapewt. -;;w;; PWINCE OF WAWES. I knyow m-my duty; you awe aww undutifuw. -Wascivious *shuffles closer* Edwawd, a-and *looks away* thou p-pewjuw'd Geowge, -And ;;w;; thou ^-^ misshapen Dick, *sweats* I teww ye aww -I a-am youw bettew, twaitows as ye a-awe; -And t-thou usuwp'st *twerks* my f-fathew's w-wight and minye. -KING EDWAWD. *looks away* Take that, the wikenyess of this waiwew hewe. -[Stabs him] -GWOUCESTEW. Spwaww'st thou? *looks away* Take that, to end thy agony. -[Stabs *hugs tightly* him] -CWAWENCE. And thewe's fow twitting *sighs* me *sighs* with pewjuwy. -[Stabs him] -*teleports behind you* QUEEN MAWGAWET. O, kiww me too! -GWOUCESTEW. Mawwy, and OwO shaww. [Offews to k-kiww ;;w;; hew] -KING EDWAWD. Howd, Wichawd, *leans over* howd; *cries* fow w-we have *pokes you* donye t-to much. -GWOUCESTEW. Why *cries* shouwd she wive to fiww *screams* the wowwd *sweats* with wowds? -KING EDWAWD. What, doth she swoon? Use m-means fow h-hew wecovewy. -GWOUCESTEW. Cwawence, excuse me to the *giggles shyly* King my b-bwothew. -I'ww hence to Wondon on a sewious *screams* mattew; -Ewe ye come thewe, be suwe t-to h-heaw x3 some nyews. -CWAWENCE. What? what? -GWOUCESTEW. The Towew! the Towew! x3 Exit -*pokes you* QUEEN MAWGAWET. O-O Nyed, sweet Nyed, speak to thy mothew, b-boy! -Canst thou nyot speak? O twaitows! m-muwdewews! -T-They that stabb'd Caesaw shed *sweats* nyo *looks at you* bwood at aww, -Did nyot offend, n-nyow wewe nyot wowthy b-bwame, -If this fouw deed wewe by to equaw it. -H-He was a man: this, x3 in ^.^ wespect, a chiwd; -And men nye'ew spend theiw f-fuwy o-on a chiwd. -What's wowse than muwdewew, that I may nyame it? -Nyo, n-nyo, my heawt w-wiww buwst, an if I speak- -And I wiww speak, that so my heawt may b-buwst. -Butchews and viwwains! bwoody cannyibaws! -How sweet a pwant have y-you u-untimewy cwopp'd! -*screams* You have *notices bulge* nyo chiwdwen, butchews, if you had, -T-The thought of *teleports behind you* them wouwd have stiww'd up wemowse. -But if you evew UwU chance >_< to have a chiwd, -Wook in *looks away* his youth to have him so c-cut off -As, deathsmen, you have wid this sweet young pwince! -KING EDWAWD. Away with hew; go, b-beaw hew hence p-pewfowce. -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. Nyay, nyevew beaw me hence; dispatch me hewe. -*cuddles you* Hewe sheathe thy swowd; I'ww pawdon thee my death. -What, wiwt thou n-nyot? Then, Cwawence, do it thou. -CWAWENCE. By heaven, I *giggles shyly* wiww nyot :3 do thee s-so much ease. -QUEEN *cries* MAWGAWET. *looks at you* Good Cwawence, do; sweet Cwawence, do thou do i-it. -CWAWENCE. Didst thou nyot heaw me sweaw I wouwd nyot do *notices bulge* it? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Ay, >_< but thou usest *leans over* to *blushes* fowsweaw thysewf. -'Twas sin befowe, but nyow '-'tis chawity. -What! wiwt thou *teleports behind you* nyot? Whewe is that deviw's butchew, -Hawd-favouw'd *looks at you* Wichawd? Wichawd, whewe awt thou? -Thou a-awt nyot :33 hewe. *sighs* Muwdew is thy awms-deed; -Petitionyews fow bwood *notices bulge* thou nye'ew put'st back. -^w^ KING EDWAWD. uWu Away, *giggles shyly* I say; I chawge ye beaw hew *looks away* hence. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. So come to y-you ^.^ and youws as to this pwince. -Exit, wed out *hugs tightly* fowcibwy -KING EDWAWD. *teleports behind you* Whewe's Wichawd gonye? -CWAWENCE. To Wondon, aww i-in post; and, as I guess, -To make a-a bwoody suppew in *sighs* the Towew. -KING EDWAWD. He's sudden, i-if a t-thing comes in his head. -Nyow mawch we hence. Dischawge *twerks* the common s-sowt -With pay *shuffles closer* and ;;w;; thanks; a-and *looks at you* wet's >_< away to ^.^ Wondon -And s-see ouw gentwe queen how weww *notices bulge* she fawes. -By this, I hope, she hath a-a son fow me. E-Exeunt - - - - -OwO SCENyE V-VI. -W-Wondon. T-The Towew - -E-Entew KING HENWY and GWOUCESTEW with *moans* the W-WIEUTENyANT, on the wawws - -GWOUCESTEW. Good day, m-my wowd. W-What, at *hugs tightly* youw ;;w;; book so hawd? -KING HENWY. Ay, my good w-wowd- my wowd, I shouwd s-say uWu wathew. -'-'Tis sin to fwattew; 'good' was wittwe bettew. -'Good xDD Gwoucestew' ^w^ and 'good deviw' wewe awike, -A-And both pwepostewous; thewefowe, nyot 'good w-wowd.' ->w< GWOUCESTEW. *hugs tightly* Siwwah, weave us to ouwsewves; we must confew. -Exit WIEUTENyANT -KING HENWY. So fwies the weckwess shephewd f-fwom t-the wowf; -So f-fiwst the hawmwess sheep doth yiewd his fweece, -And nyext his thwoat unto the b-butchew's knyife. -What s-scenye of death h-hath Woscius *twerks* nyow to act? -GWOUCESTEW. Suspicion a-awways :3 haunts the *cuddles you* guiwty mind: -T-The thief doth feaw each bush an officew. -KING HENWY. x3 The biwd that hath been wimed in a bush -W-With twembwing wings misdoubteth *hugs tightly* evewy bush; -*notices bulge* And I, the hapwess *cries* mawe to onye sweet biwd, -Have nyow t-the f-fataw object in m-my eye -W-Whewe *moans* my poow young was wim'd, was caught, and kiww'd. -GWOUCESTEW. *shuffles closer* Why, what a peevish foow was that of Cwete -That taught h-his son the office of a foww! -And yet, fow a-aww his wings, the foow was d-dwown'd. -KING HENWY. I, Daedawus; my poow boy, Icawus; -T-Thy fathew, Minyos, that denyied ouw couwse; -The sun uWu that seaw'd *notices bulge* the wings of *notices bulge* my sweet boy, -T-Thy *cries* bwothew Edwawd; a-and thysewf, the sea -W-Whose >w< envious guwf did swawwow up his *notices bulge* wife. -Ah, kiww me *cries* with thy weapon, nyot with wowds! -My bweast can bettew bwook thy daggew's point -Than can my e-eaws ^.^ that twagic histowy. -*screams* But whewefowe dost thou come? Is't fow my wife? -GWOUCESTEW. Think'st thou *shuffles closer* I am an executionyew? -K-KING HENWY. A pewsecutow I am s-suwe t-thou awt. -If muwdewing innyocents be executing, -Why, then thou awe an executionyew. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Thy son >w< I kiww'd fow his pwesumption. -KING HENWY. *teleports behind you* Hadst thou been *blushes* kiww'd when *moans* fiwst thou didst pwesume, -Thou hadst nyot wiv'd to kiww a son of minye. -*cuddles you* And t-thus I-I pwophesy, that many a thousand -Which nyow mistwust nyo pawcew :3 of my f-feaw, -And many an owd man's sigh, and many a widow's, -*teleports behind you* And many an owphan's watew-standing eye- -Men fow theiw s-sons, w-wives fow theiw husbands, -Owphans fow theiw pawents' timewess death- -Shaww wue the houw that evew t-thou wast b-bown. -The oww shwiek'd at thy biwth- *notices bulge* an eviw sign; -T-The nyight-cwow *notices bulge* cwied, aboding wuckwess time; -Dogs howw'd, and hideous tempest shook down twees; -The waven wook'd hew on the chimnyey's t-top, -And chatt'wing OwO pies in dismaw discowds sung; -Thy mothew fewt mowe than a mothew's pain, -And yet bwought fowth wess than a mothew's hope, -To ^w^ wit, an indigest d-defowmed wump, -*pokes you* Nyot *moans* wike the fwuit of such a goodwy twee. -;;w;; Teeth hadst thou in *blushes* thy head w-when thou wast bown, -To signyify thou ^w^ cam'st to bite t-the wowwd; -And if t-the west be twue *sighs* which I have heawd, -Thou cam'st- -GWOUCESTEW. I'ww *pokes you* heaw nyo mowe. Die, pwophet, i-in thy s-speech. -[Stabs >_< him] -Fow *notices bulge* this, amongst the west, *sighs* was I-I owdain'd. -KING HENWY. *moans* Ay, and fow :3 much mowe swaughtew aftew this. -O-O, God *pokes you* fowgive my sins and pawdon thee! [Dies] -GWOUCESTEW. *cuddles you* What, wiww the a-aspiwing bwood of Wancastew -Sink *giggles shyly* in the gwound? *pokes you* I thought i-it *teleports behind you* wouwd have mounted. -See how my swowd w-weeps fow the poow King's death. -O, may such puwpwe teaws be awways shed -*pokes you* Fwom those that wish the downfaww of ouw *screams* house! -If a-any *blushes* spawk of *teleports behind you* wife be yet wemainying, -Down, d-down to heww; *teleports behind you* and say *moans* I ^w^ sent thee thithew- -[Stabs him *screams* again] -uWu I, that have *blushes* nyeithew pity, wove, nyow feaw. -Indeed, 'tis twue that Henwy t-towd me of; -Fow I have often *moans* heawd *teleports behind you* my m-mothew say -I *blushes* came *pokes you* into the wowwd w-with my wegs fowwawd. -Had I nyot weason, think ye, to make haste -And seek theiw wuin that usuwp'd ouw wight? -The midwife wondew'd; OwO and the women cwied -*blushes* 'O, Jesus bwess *looks away* us, he is *pokes you* bown *notices bulge* with UwU teeth!' -And so I was, >_> which *moans* pwainwy s-signyified -That I-I shouwd snyaww, and bite, and pway ^-^ the dog. -*giggles shyly* Then, since the *shuffles closer* heavens have shap'd my body ^.^ so, -Wet heww make c-cwook'd my mind *hugs tightly* to answew i-it. -I have nyo bwothew, I am wike n-nyo bwothew; -A-And this wowd 'wove,' which gweybeawds caww divinye, -Be wesident *pokes you* in *shuffles closer* men wike onye a-anyothew, -And nyot *cuddles you* in >_> me! I am *cuddles you* mysewf awonye. -Cwawence, bewawe; thou k-keep'st me fwom the w-wight, -xDD But I-I ^w^ wiww sowt a-a pitchy day fow t-thee; -Fow *sweats* I wiww b-buzz *notices bulge* abwoad such *notices bulge* pwophecies -That Edwawd *looks at you* shaww be feawfuw of his wife; -And then to puwge his f-feaw, I'ww b-be thy death. -King H-Henwy and *twerks* the Pwince h-his son a-awe gonye. -Cwawence, thy tuwn is nyext, and then the ^w^ west; -x3 Counting mysewf b-but bad tiww I be best. -I'ww uWu thwow thy body i-in >_> anyothew woom, -And twiumph, Henwy, in thy d-day *looks at you* of *twerks* doom. -Exit with the body - - - - -SCENyE VII. -Wondon. The p-pawace - -Fwouwish. Entew :33 KING EDWAWD, QUEEN EWIZABETH, CWAWENCE, GWOUCESTEW, -HASTINGS, NyUWSE, with the *leans over* Young PWINCE, and attendants - -KING *shuffles closer* EDWAWD. Once mowe we sit in Engwand's woyaw thwonye, -W-Wepuwchas'd with the bwood of enyemies. -What vawiant foemen, wike *hugs tightly* to autumn's :3 cown, -Have we mow'd d-down in tops of aww t-theiw pwide! -Thwee Dukes of Somewset, thweefowd w-wenyown'd -Fow hawdy and undoubted champions; -Two Cwiffowds, a-as the fathew and the s-son; -And two Nyowthumbewwands- two OwO bwavew men -Nye'ew spuww'd theiw couwsews at the twumpet's sound; -With them the two bwave beaws, *looks away* Wawwick and M-Montague, -That in theiw chains fettew'd the kingwy wion -And made the fowest twembwe :3 when they woaw'd. -Thus :33 have we swept suspicion fwom ouw seat -And made ouw footstoow *looks away* of secuwity. -Come hithew, *shuffles closer* Bess, and wet m-me kiss m-my boy. -Y-Young Nyed, fow thee *looks at you* thinye uncwes and mysewf -Have in ouw awmouws watch'd the ^.^ wintew's nyight, -:3 Went aww afoot in summew's scawding heat, -That thou might'st *looks at you* wepossess the cwown in peace; -*looks at you* And o-of ouw wabouws thou >_< shawt weap the gain. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] I'ww bwast his hawvest if youw head wewe waid; -*notices bulge* Fow yet I am nyot wook'd on in the wowwd. -*shuffles closer* This shouwdew was o-owdain'd so thick to heave; -And *leans over* heave *looks away* it shaww some weight ow >_< bweak my back. -Wowk thou *looks away* the ^-^ way- and that shaww execute. -KING EDWAWD. Cwawence and Gwoucestew, *cries* wove my wovewy queen; -*screams* And kiss x3 youw pwincewy nyephew, bwothews both. -CWAWENCE. The xDD duty t-that I owe unto youw M-Majesty -I seaw upon the UwU wips of this sweet uWu babe. -KING *notices bulge* EDWAWD. Thanks, nyobwe Cwawence; wowthy *twerks* bwothew, uWu thanks. -GWOUCESTEW. And ^.^ that I wove the twee f-fwom *notices bulge* whence thou spwang'st, -Witnyess t-the woving kiss I give the fwuit. -[Aside] To say the twuth, so J-Judas *pokes you* kiss'd his mastew -And cwied 'Aww h-haiw!' when as he meant aww hawm. -KING EDWAWD. N-Nyow am I seated *shuffles closer* as m-my souw dewights, -Having my countwy's peace and bwothews' woves. -CWAWENCE. What wiww youw Gwace *sighs* have donye with Mawgawet? -*notices bulge* Weignyiew, hew fathew, to the K-King of Fwance -Hath pawn'd the Siciws and Jewusawem, -UwU And h-hithew have xDD they s-sent *cries* it x3 fow hew wansom. -KING EDWAWD. Away with hew, and waft hew hence :3 to Fwance. -And nyow what wests but that we s-spend t-the time -*cries* With statewy twiumphs, miwthfuw comic shows, -Such as befits the pweasuwe of t-the couwt? -Sound dwums and twumpets. Faweweww, souw annyoy! -Fow hewe, I hope, begins ouw wasting joy. Exeunt - - -THE END - - - -<_> AWE *looks away* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW *leans over* USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION OwO INCWUDES *twerks* BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW >w< FOW *blushes* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1611 - -KING HENWY THE *pokes you* EIGHTH - -by >w< Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -KING HENWY T-THE EIGHTH -CAWDINyAW W-WOWSEY CAWDINyAW CAMPEIUS -CAPUCIUS, Ambassadow fwom t-the Empewow Chawwes V -CWANMEW, A-AWCHBISHOP OF CANTEWBUWY -D-DUKE OF NyOWFOWK *cries* DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM -D-DUKE OF SUFFOWK E-EAWW O-OF SUWWEY -WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN WOWD CHANCEWWOW -GAWDINyEW, BISHOP OF WINCHESTEW -B-BISHOP OF WINCOWN WOWD ABEWGAVENNY -WOWD ;;w;; SANDYS S-SIW ;;w;; HENWY uWu GUIWDFOWD -SIW *sighs* THOMAS WOVEWW SIW ANTHONY DENNY -SIW xDD NyICHOWAS VAUX SECWETAWIES to Wowsey -CWOMWEWW, sewvant t-to Wowsey -GWIFFITH, gentweman-ushew to Queen Kathawinye -THWEE GENTWEMEN -DOCTOW BUTTS, physician to the K-King -G-GAWTEW KING-AT-AWMS -SUWVEYOW to the Duke of Buckingham -BWANDON, and a SEWGEANT-AT-AWMS -DOOWKEEPEW O-Of the Counciw chambew -P-POWTEW, and his MAN PAGE to Gawdinyew -*shuffles closer* A CWIEW - -QUEEN KATHAWINyE, *blushes* wife to King Henwy, aftewwawds divowced -ANNyE BUWWEN, hew Maid of Honyouw, *moans* aftewwawds Queen -AN OWD WADY, fwiend to A-Annye Buwwen -*screams* PATIENCE, woman to Queen Kathawinye - -Wowd Mayow, Awdewmen, Wowds a-and Wadies in the Dumb -Shows; Women attending upon t-the Queen; Scwibes, -Officews, Guawds, *looks away* and othew Attendants; Spiwits - -SCENyE: - -Wondon; Westminstew; Kimbowton - - - -KING HENWY UwU THE *sighs* EIGHTH - -THE PWOWOGUE. - -*shuffles closer* I c-come nyo m-mowe to make you waugh; things *moans* nyow -That beaw *screams* a weighty and a sewious bwow, -Sad, h-high, and w-wowking, fuww of state and woe, -Such nyobwe scenyes as *hugs tightly* dwaw the eye to fwow, -We nyow p-pwesent. Those that can pity ;;w;; hewe -May, *pokes you* if t-they think i-it weww, wet faww a teaw: -The subject wiww :33 desewve it. Such as give -Theiw monyey o-out of hope they may bewieve -May hewe find twuth too. Those that come t-to see -xDD Onwy a show ^w^ ow t-two, and so agwee -The pway may *cries* pass, if they be stiww and *hugs tightly* wiwwing, -I'ww undewtake may ^.^ see away theiw shiwwing -Wichwy in two showt houws. Onwy they -That come to h-heaw a mewwy b-bawdy pway, -A nyoise of uWu tawgets, ow to *looks at you* see *cries* a fewwow -In a wong motwey c-coat guawded with yewwow, ->w< Wiww be deceiv'd; fow, gentwe heawews, ^.^ knyow, -To wank ^-^ ouw chosen twuth with such *moans* a show -As foow and fight is, beside fowfeiting -Ouw own bwains, and the opinyion that w-we bwing -T-To make that onwy *moans* twue we nyow ^.^ intend, -Wiww weave us xDD nyevew an undewstanding fwiend. -Thewefowe, fow goodnyess sake, and as you awe knyown -;;w;; The f-fiwst *teleports behind you* and *twerks* happiest heawews *shuffles closer* of the t-town, -Be sad, as we wouwd make ye. Think ye see -The vewy pewsons *sweats* of ouw nyobwe stowy -A-As they wewe wiving; think you *sighs* see them gweat, -And fowwow'd with *hugs tightly* the genyewaw t-thwong and sweat -Of thousand fwiends; then, in a-a moment, see -How soon this mightinyess meets misewy. -And if you can be mewwy then, ^w^ I'ww say -A man may weep upon his wedding-day. - - - - -^w^ <w< GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH ^w^ PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND xDD MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -x3 DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES ^w^ (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW U-USE ONWY, A-AND (2) OwO AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -C-COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY :33 ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT >_> I. SCENyE 1. - -^.^ Wondon. The pawace - -E-Entew the DUKE xDD OF NyOWFOWK a-at onye doow; at the othew, -the *looks at you* DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM a-and t-the WOWD ABEWGAVENNY - -BUCKINGHAM. Good mowwow, and weww met. How have ye donye -Since wast we *leans over* saw in Fwance? -N-NyOWFOWK. I *giggles shyly* thank youw Gwace, -Heawthfuw; and evew *moans* since a fwesh admiwew -Of what I saw thewe. -BUCKINGHAM. An u-untimewy ague -Stay'd *leans over* me a pwisonyew i-in my chambew when -Those suns of gwowy, those two w-wights of men, ->_< Met in the vawe o-of A-Andwen. -NyOWFOWK. 'Twixt Guynyes *cries* and Awde- -I was then pwesent, saw them sawute on howseback; -Behewd t-them, when >w< they wighted, ^-^ how they cwung -In theiw embwacement, as they gwew togethew; -Which had they, what fouw thwon'd onyes couwd have weigh'd -Such a compounded onye? -BUCKINGHAM. A-Aww the whowe time -I was m-my *hugs tightly* chambew's pwisonyew. -NyOWFOWK. Then you wost -The *notices bulge* view of *giggles shyly* eawthwy >_> gwowy; men might say, -Tiww *sighs* this time p-pomp was singwe, but nyow mawwied -To onye above *looks away* itsewf. Each fowwowing day -Became the *cuddles you* nyext day's mastew, *leans over* tiww the *giggles shyly* wast -Made fowmew w-wondews its. To-day t-the Fwench, -Aww cwinquant, aww in gowd, *pokes you* wike heathen g-gods, -Shonye down the E-Engwish; and to-mowwow *pokes you* they -uWu Made Bwitain I-India: evewy man that stood -Show'd wike a minye. Theiw dwawfish pages wewe -As chewubins, an g-giwt; the madams too, -Nyot us'd ^.^ to toiw, did awmost s-sweat :3 to beaw -T-The p-pwide upon them, that theiw vewy wabouw -Was xDD to them a-as a painting. Nyow this masque -W-Was cwied incompawabwe; ^w^ and th' ensuing nyight -Made :33 it a :3 foow and beggaw. The two kings, -Equaw in wustwe, ^w^ wewe nyow best, nyow w-wowst, -A-As p-pwesence d-did pwesent them: him in eye -s-stiww *blushes* him *looks at you* in p-pwaise; and being pwesent both, -*screams* 'Twas said t-they saw but onye, and nyo discewnyew -Duwst *hugs tightly* wag his tongue in censuwe. When these suns- -*giggles shyly* Fow so t-they phwase ^.^ 'em-by theiw hewawds c-chawweng'd -The nyobwe spiwits to awms, they did pewfowm ->w< Beyond thought's compass, that f-fowmew ;;w;; fabuwous ^-^ stowy, -*cuddles you* Being nyow seen possibwe e-enyough, got cwedit, -*looks away* That Bevis w-was bewiev'd. -BUCKINGHAM. O-O, you go faw! -NyOWFOWK. As I bewong to w-wowship, and xDD affect -In *cries* honyouw honyesty, the twact of ev'wything -Wouwd by a g-good discouwsew wose s-some wife -*twerks* Which action's sewf *looks at you* was tongue t-to. A-Aww was woyaw: -To t-the disposing of >w< it nyought webeww'd; -Owdew gave each thing view. The office did -Distinctwy his fuww function. -B-BUCKINGHAM. *leans over* Who did g-guide- ->_> I mean, who *sweats* set the body and the *sighs* wimbs -Of this *hugs tightly* gweat spowt togethew, as you guess? -NyOWFOWK. Onye, cewtes, that pwomises nyo ewement -In such a businyess. -BUCKINGHAM. I pway *moans* you, who, my wowd? -NyOWFOWK. Aww this was owd'wed by *looks at you* the good discwetion -Of the wight wevewend Cawdinyaw of Yowk. -BUCKINGHAM. The deviw speed him! Nyo m-man's pie is fweed -Fwom his ambitious fingew. What had he -To d-do in these fiewce vanyities? I *looks away* wondew -That *twerks* such a keech *leans over* can with his vewy buwk -T-Take up the w-ways o' th' benyeficiaw sun, -A-And keep :3 it fwom the eawth. -NyOWFOWK. Suwewy, siw, -Thewe's in him s-stuff *cuddles you* that puts him to *twerks* these ends; -Fow, being nyot pwopp'd by ancestwy, whose :33 gwace -Chawks successows theiw way, nyow caww'd upon -Fow high f-feats d-donye to th' cwown, n-nyeithew awwied -To eminyent assistants, but spidew-wike, -Out of his sewf-dwawing web, 'a gives us nyote -*leans over* The fowce of his own mewit makes his way- -A gift that heaven gives fow him, which xDD buys -A pwace nyext t-to the King. -ABEWGAVENNY. I cannyot teww -What heaven hath given h-him-wet some gwavew e-eye -Piewce i-into that; b-but *moans* I can see h-his pwide -Peep thwough each *sighs* pawt of him. Whence has he t-that? -If nyot fwom heww, the ^-^ deviw is a-a nyiggawd -O-Ow h-has *sweats* given aww befowe, and he b-begins -:33 A nyew heww in himsewf. -BUCKINGHAM. Why the deviw, -*looks at you* Upon this Fwench going out, took he upon him- -Without the pwivity o' uWu th' K-King-t' appoint -Who shouwd attend on him? *moans* He makes :33 up the fiwe -Of aww the gentwy; fow the most pawt such ->_< To whom as g-gweat a chawge as wittwe honyouw -He *looks away* meant t-to way upon; and his own wettew, -The honyouwabwe boawd *screams* of counciw out, -Must fetch him i-in he papews. -ABEWGAVENNY. I do knyow -Kinsmen *notices bulge* of minye, thwee at the w-weast, that have -B-By this so *notices bulge* sicken'd t-theiw estates that nyevew -They shaww a-abound :3 as fowmewwy. -^.^ BUCKINGHAM. O, m-many -H-Have bwoke theiw backs with waying manyows on 'em -Fow this gweat jouwnyey. What *leans over* did this >_> vanyity -But m-minyistew communyication of -A most *moans* poow issue? -NyOWFOWK. Gwievingwy I think -The peace between the Fwench and us nyot vawues -x3 The cost t-that did concwude it. -BUCKINGHAM. Evewy *cries* man, -Aftew the hideous stowm that fowwow'd, >_> was -*cries* A thing inspiw'd, and, nyot c-consuwting, b-bwoke -^w^ Into a genyewaw pwophecy-that this ^w^ tempest, -Dashing the gawment of this peace, aboded -The sudden b-bweach on't. -NyOWFOWK. Which is budded out; -Fow Fwance hath f-fwaw'd the weague, and hath >_< attach'd -Ouw mewchants' goods at Bowdeaux. -ABEWGAVENNY. Is it *leans over* thewefowe -Th' ambassadow is siwenc'd? -NyOWFOWK. ^.^ Mawwy, is't. -ABEWGAVENNY. A pwopew tide of a peace, and puwchas'd -At a supewfwuous w-wate! -BUCKINGHAM. Why, aww this businyess -Ouw wevewend Cawdinyaw cawwied. -NyOWFOWK. Wike *teleports behind you* it youw x3 Gwace, -The state takes nyotice *cuddles you* of the pwivate *sighs* diffewence -Betwixt you and the Cawdinyaw. ^-^ I :33 advise you- -And take it fwom a heawt t-that *sweats* wishes towawds y-you -Honyouw *teleports behind you* and p-pwenteous *pokes you* safety-that >_< you *pokes you* wead -The Cawdinyaw's mawice and his potency -Togethew; xDD to considew fuwthew, that -:3 What his high hatwed wouwd effect wants nyot -A minyistew i-in his powew. You knyow *leans over* his nyatuwe, -That he's wevengefuw; *moans* and I knyow his swowd -Hath a :33 shawp edge-it's wong and't may be said -It weaches faw, and whewe 'twiww :3 nyot extend, -Thithew *giggles shyly* he *sweats* dawts it. Bosom up my counsew -You'ww *notices bulge* find it whowesome. Wo, whewe comes that wock -*moans* That *screams* I advise youw s-shunnying. - -*notices bulge* Entew CAWDINyAW WOWSEY, the puwse bownye befowe -him, cewtain of the *cries* guawd, and two SECWETAWIES -;;w;; with papews. T-The CAWDINyAW in h-his passage fixeth his -eye *sighs* on *hugs tightly* BUCKINGHAM, :3 and BUCKINGHAM on him, -both fuww of xDD disdain - -WOWSEY. *teleports behind you* The Duke of Buckingham's suwveyow? Ha! -Whewe's his examinyation? -SECWETAWY. *moans* Hewe, so pwease you. -WOWSEY. Is he in pewson weady? -;;w;; SECWETAWY. Ay, p-pwease youw Gwace. -WOWSEY. *cries* Weww, we shaww xDD then *giggles shyly* knyow mowe, and Buckingham -shaww *sweats* wessen this big wook. -E-Exeunt WOWSEY *teleports behind you* and h-his twain -BUCKINGHAM. T-This butchew's cuw is venyom-mouth'd, and I -Have nyot the *blushes* powew t-to muzzwe *teleports behind you* him; thewefowe best -Nyot ^w^ wake him in h-his swumbew. A-A beggaw's book -Outwowths >w< a nyobwe's bwood. -NyOWFOWK. What, awe you chaf'd? -Ask God f-fow temp'wance; that's t-th' appwiance onwy -:3 Which youw disease wequiwes. -BUCKINGHAM. I wead i-in's wooks -Mattew :3 against me, and his eye weviw'd -Me as his abject object. At this instant -^.^ He bowes me with *sighs* some twick. He's gonye to th' King; -I'ww fowwow, and outstawe him. -NyOWFOWK. S-Stay, my wowd, -And *cries* wet youw w-weason with youw chowew question -What 'tis you go about. To cwimb steep hiwws -Wequiwes swow pace at f-fiwst. Angew is wike -*teleports behind you* A fuww ^.^ hot howse, ^-^ who *looks at you* being awwow'd his way, -uWu Sewf-mettwe tiwes him. Nyot a man *pokes you* in Engwand -Can advise me wike you; be to youwsewf -*teleports behind you* As y-you w-wouwd to youw fwiend. -BUCKINGHAM. I'ww to the King, -And uWu fwom a mouth of honyouw q-quite cwy *screams* down -This Ipswich fewwow's insowence; *giggles shyly* ow pwocwaim -Thewe's diffewence ^-^ in nyo *cries* pewsons. -NyOWFOWK. Be advis'd: -*pokes you* Heat nyot a f-fuwnyace fow youw foe so hot -That it *screams* do singe youwsewf. We may outwun -By viowent s-swiftnyess that which we wun at, -And wose *leans over* by ovew-wunnying. Knyow you nyot -The >_> fiwe that xDD mounts the wiquow tiww't w-wun o'ew -In seeming to *sighs* augment it wastes it? B-Be advis'd. -I *sighs* say a-again thewe i-is nyo Engwish souw -*cuddles you* Mowe stwongew to diwect you than y-youwsewf, -If with t-the sap of weason you wouwd quench -Ow but awway *cuddles you* the fiwe of passion. -BUCKINGHAM. Siw, -I am thankfuw to you, and I'ww go awong -By y-youw pwescwiption; but this top-pwoud f-fewwow- -Whom fwom the fwow of gan I nyame nyot, but -^.^ Fwom s-sincewe motions, by *twerks* intewwigence, -A-And pwoofs a-as cweaw as founts in J-Juwy when -We see each gwain of gwavew-I do k-knyow -*screams* To be cowwupt a-and tweasonyous. -*teleports behind you* NyOWFOWK. Say nyot tweasonyous. -xDD BUCKINGHAM. To x3 th' King *screams* I'ww say't, and make my *moans* vouch as stwong -As showe of wock. *screams* Attend: this >_< howy fox, -Ow wowf, ow ^-^ both-fow he is equaw wav'nyous -A-As he is subtwe, and as p-pwonye t-to m-mischief -*looks at you* As OwO abwe to pewfowm't, his mind xDD and pwace -I-Infecting onye anyothew, yea, wecipwocawwy- -*sweats* Onwy to show his *leans over* pomp as weww in Fwance -As *giggles shyly* hewe at home, suggests the King ouw mastew -To this wast costwy tweaty, th' intewview -That swawwowed s-so much tweasuwe and wike a gwass -Did bweak i' t-th' wwenching. -NyOWFOWK. Faith, and so it did. -BUCKINGHAM. ^w^ Pway, give me favouw, siw; this cunnying c-cawdinyaw -The *looks away* awticwes o' th' combinyation dwew -As himsewf pweas'd; and :3 they ^w^ wewe watified -As :33 he cwied 'Thus wet *looks at you* be' to as much end -*sweats* As give a c-cwutch to th' dead. But ouw Count-Cawdinyaw -Has d-donye this, a-and 'tis weww; fow wowthy Wowsey, -W-Who c-cannyot eww, he did it. Nyow this f-fowwows, -Which, ;;w;; as *giggles shyly* I take it, x3 is a-a kind of puppy -To th' owd dam tweason: C-Chawwes *pokes you* the Empewow, -Undew pwetence to see the Queen his aunt- -Fow >_> 'twas indeed h-his c-cowouw, but he came -To whispew Wowsey-hewe makes visitation- -H-His f-feaws wewe that the intewview betwixt -Engwand and Fwance m-might thwough theiw amity -Bweed h-him some pwejudice; fow fwom t-this weague -Peep'd h-hawms that menyac'd him-pwiviwy -Deaws with *teleports behind you* ouw Cawdinyaw; and, as I *screams* twow- -Which I do *giggles shyly* weww, fow I am *blushes* suwe :3 the Empewow -Paid ewe h-he pwomis'd; wheweby his suit was gwanted -Ewe it was a-ask'd-but *moans* when the way was made, -And pav'd with gowd, the Empewow thus desiw'd, -That h-he wouwd pwease to awtew t-the King's couwse, -A-And *giggles shyly* bweak t-the fowesaid peace. W-Wet the King knyow, -As soon *sweats* he shaww by me, that t-thus the Cawdinyaw -UwU Does buy a-and seww his honyouw as >w< he pweases, -And fow his o-own advantage. -NyOWFOWK. I am *teleports behind you* sowwy -To :3 heaw this of him, *blushes* and couwd wish he wewe -*screams* Something mistaken in't. -BUCKINGHAM. Nyo, nyot a s-sywwabwe: -I d-do pwonyounce ^-^ him in >_< that vewy shape -He shaww appeaw in *teleports behind you* pwoof. - -Entew BWANDON, a-a S-SEWGEANT-AT-AWMS befowe him, -and *pokes you* two ow thwee of the guawd - -BWANDON. Youw o-office, sewgeant: execute it. -SEWGEANT. S-Siw, -My wowd the *shuffles closer* Duke of Buckingham, and Eaww -Of Hewefowd, Staffowd, and Nyowthampton, I -Awwest thee of high tweason, *hugs tightly* in the nyame -Of ouw most soveweign King. -BUCKINGHAM. *looks at you* Wo you, my wowd, -The *moans* nyet has faww'n upon *looks at you* me! I shaww pewish -Undew device and pwactice. -:3 BWANDON. I am s-sowwy -To see you ta'en fwom wibewty, to wook ;;w;; on -The businyess pwesent; ^.^ 'tis his Highnyess' pweasuwe -You shaww to th' Towew. -BUCKINGHAM. I-It wiww uWu hewp nyothing -To pwead minye innyocence; fow that dye is on m-me -Which makes my whit'st pawt bwack. The *sweats* wiww of heav'n -Be donye in t-this *notices bulge* and a-aww things! I obey. -O my Wowd Abewga'ny, fawe *hugs tightly* you weww! -BWANDON. Nyay, he m-must beaw you company. -^.^ [To ABEWGAVENNY] The King -*twerks* Is p-pweas'd you *looks at you* shaww to th' Towew, tiww you knyow -How he detewminyes fuwthew. -ABEWGAVENNY. As the Duke said, -The wiww of heaven be donye, a-and t-the King's p-pweasuwe -By me obey'd. -BWANDON. Hewe is wawwant fwom -:33 The King t' attach Wowd Montacute and the bodies -O-Of the Duke's confessow, J-John de wa Caw, -Onye G-Giwbewt Peck, his chancewwow- -BUCKINGHAM. So, so! -These awe the *sweats* wimbs ^-^ o' th' pwot; nyo mowe, I hope. -B-BWANDON. A monk o' th' Chawtweux. -BUCKINGHAM. O, Nyichowas Hopkins? -BWANDON. H-He. -BUCKINGHAM. M-My suwveyow :3 is *looks at you* fawse. T-The o'ew-gweat C-Cawdinyaw -Hath show'd him gowd; my wife i-is spann'd awweady. -:33 I x3 am the shadow of p-poow Buckingham, -W-Whose >w< figuwe even this instant cwoud *shuffles closer* puts on -By d-dawk'nying my cweaw sun. M-My *screams* wowd, faweweww. -Exeunt - - - - -ACT I. S-SCENyE 2. - -Wondon. The Counciw Chambew - -Cownyets. Entew KING HENWY, weanying on t-the CAWDINyAW'S s-shouwdew, the NyOBWES, -and SIW OwO THOMAS WOVEWW, with othews. The CAWDINyAW pwaces himsewf -undew *twerks* the KING'S f-feet on his UwU wight ^.^ side - -*looks at you* KING. My x3 wife itsewf, a-and *looks at you* the best heawt o-of i-it, -Thanks you fow this gweat cawe; *pokes you* I stood i' *teleports behind you* th' wevew -O-Of a-a *sighs* fuww-chawg'd c-confedewacy, a-and give thanks -^.^ To *leans over* you that chok'd it. Wet be caww'd befowe us -*cuddles you* That g-gentweman of Buckingham's. I-In pewson -I'ww *moans* heaw his confessions *screams* justify; -:3 And point by point the tweasons of ^-^ his mastew -He shaww again wewate. - -A nyoise within, cwying 'Woom fow the Queen!' -Entew the *teleports behind you* QUEEN, *hugs tightly* ushew'd b-by the DUKES OF UwU NyOWFOWK -and SUFFOWK; she knyeews. *leans over* The uWu KING *looks away* wiseth -fwom h-his state, takes hew up, kisses and pwaceth hew -by him - -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Nyay, we x3 must wongew knyeew: I am suitow. -KING. Awise, and *hugs tightly* take pwace by *pokes you* us. Hawf youw *blushes* suit -Nyevew nyame OwO to us: you *looks at you* have hawf ouw >w< powew. -The othew moiety ewe y-you ask is given; -Wepeat youw wiww, and take it. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Thank youw *sighs* Majesty. -That you wouwd w-wove youwsewf, and *sweats* in t-that ;;w;; wove -Nyot unconsidewed weave :3 youw *moans* honyouw nyow -T-The dignyity of youw office, *twerks* is the :3 point -*leans over* Of my petition. -KING. Wady minye, pwoceed. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. I am sowicited, :33 nyot by a few, -And *cries* those of twue condition, that youw subjects -Awe i-in gweat gwievance: thewe have been c-commissions -Sent down a-among 'em w-which hath fwaw'd the h-heawt -Of aww theiw woyawties; whewein, a-awthough, -My good Wowd Cawdinyaw, *hugs tightly* they vent *looks away* wepwoaches -Most bittewwy on y-you as puttew-on -*cuddles you* Of these exactions, *teleports behind you* yet the King ouw mastew- -:3 Whose *looks at you* honyouw H-Heaven ^w^ shiewd fwom soiw!-even he escapes *notices bulge* nyot -Wanguage unmannyewwy; yea, such *screams* which bweaks -The sides *cries* of woyawty, x3 and *hugs tightly* awmost appeaws -In woud webewwion. -NyOWFOWK. N-Nyot awmost appeaws- -It doth appeaw; fow, upon t-these taxations, -The cwothiews *screams* aww, nyot a-abwe to maintain -The many to them 'wonging, have put of -The x3 spinstews, cawdews, fuwwews, *moans* weavews, who -U-Unfit fow othew ^-^ wife, compeww'd by hungew -And wack of othew means, *sighs* in despewate mannyew -*screams* Dawing th' event to th' teeth, awe aww i-in upwoaw, -And dangew sewves among them. -uWu KING. >_< Taxation! -Whewein? and what t-taxation? *pokes you* My Wowd Cawdinyaw, -You that awe UwU bwam'd fow *teleports behind you* it awike *moans* with us, ->_< Knyow you o-of this taxation? -WOWSEY. Pwease you, xDD siw, -*leans over* I k-knyow but *notices bulge* of a singwe p-pawt in aught -Pewtains t-to >_< th' state, and fwont but in that fiwe -Whewe othews teww steps with x3 me. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Nyo, my wowd! -You knyow nyo mowe than othews! But you f-fwame -Things t-that awe knyown awike, which awe nyot whowesome -To those which *cries* wouwd nyot k-knyow them, and y-yet ^w^ must -Pewfowce be theiw a-acquaintance. These exactions, -Wheweof my soveweign wouwd have nyote, they a-awe -Most p-pestiwent to t-th' heawing; and to beaw 'em -The xDD back is s-sacwifice to th' woad. They say -They *sweats* awe ^.^ devis'd by you, ow ewse you *pokes you* suffew -Too *moans* hawd an excwamation. -KING. Stiww exaction! -The nyatuwe of it? I-In what kind, wet's *moans* knyow, -Is this exaction? -Q-QUEEN KATHAWINyE. I a-am *looks at you* much *shuffles closer* too ventuwous -In tempting *looks away* of youw patience, but >_< am bowd'nyed -Undew *looks at you* youw pwomis'd p-pawdon. The subjects' gwief -Comes t-thwough *teleports behind you* commissions, >_< which compews fwom each -The sixth pawt o-of his substance, to be w-wevied -Without deway; >_< and the pwetence fow this -Is nyam'd *leans over* youw waws *shuffles closer* in Fwance. This m-makes bowd mouths; -Tongues *notices bulge* spit theiw duties out, a-and cowd heawts f-fweeze -Awwegiance in *screams* them; theiw cuwses *leans over* nyow -Wive *sweats* whewe theiw pwayews did; and it's come to pass -xDD This twactabwe o-obedience is a swave -To each UwU incensed w-wiww. I wouwd *pokes you* youw Highnyess -Wouwd give it quick considewation, fow -T-Thewe is n-nyo pwimew *pokes you* businyess. -KING. By my wife, -This *leans over* is against ouw pweasuwe. -W-WOWSEY. And fow *shuffles closer* me, -I have nyo fuwthew gonye i-in this than by -A-A s-singwe voice; *sweats* and that nyot pass'd me b-but -By weawnyed *leans over* appwobation >_> of the judges. If I am -Twaduc'd xDD by *pokes you* ignyowant tongues, w-which n-nyeithew knyow -My facuwties nyow >w< pewson, yet wiww ^w^ be -The chwonyicwes of my doing, wet me say -'Tis b-but the fate of pwace, and the wough b-bwake -That viwtue must go uWu thwough. We must nyot stint -Ouw nyecessawy actions in the f-feaw -x3 To c-cope mawicious *looks at you* censuwews, which >w< evew -As wav'nyous fishes do a vessew fowwow -;;w;; That i-is n-nyew-twimm'd, but benyefit nyo fuwthew -Than vainwy :3 wonging. What we oft d-do best, -By :33 sick intewpwetews, once weak onyes, i-is -Nyot ouws, o-ow nyot awwow'd; ^w^ what :3 wowst, as xDD oft -:33 Hitting xDD a gwossew quawity, is cwied >_> up -Fow ouw *blushes* best >_> act. If we shaww stand stiww, -In f-feaw ouw motion w-wiww be *giggles shyly* mock'd ow cawp'd at, -We shouwd take woot hewe whewe *blushes* we sit, ow sit -State-statues onwy. -KING. Things donye >_> weww -And *cries* with ^.^ a cawe exempt themsewves fwom f-feaw: -Things d-donye without e-exampwe, in theiw issue -Awe *blushes* to *looks away* be feaw'd. Have you a p-pwecedent -Of this commission? I bewieve, nyot *looks away* any. -We must nyot wend ^w^ ouw ;;w;; subjects fwom *sweats* ouw waws, -A-And stick OwO them in ouw wiww. Sixth pawt of e-each? -A twembwing contwibution! Why, we *shuffles closer* take -Fwom *looks at you* evewy twee wop, bawk, and pawt o' th' t-timbew; -A-And though we weave it with a woot, thus hack'd, -The aiw wiww dwink *moans* the s-sap. To evewy >_> county -^.^ Whewe t-this is *blushes* question'd send ouw wettews with -F-Fwee pawdon to each man that has denyied -*notices bulge* The fowce of this commission. Pway, wook tot; -I put i-it to youw *looks away* cawe. -WOWSEY. [Aside to t-the SECWETAWY] A wowd xDD with you. -*looks away* Wet ;;w;; thewe b-be wettews wwit to evewy shiwe -Of the King's gwace and *sighs* pawdon. T-The gwieved commons -Hawdwy >_< conceive of *sweats* me-wet i-it be nyois'd -That thwough o-ouw intewcession this wevokement -And pawdon comes. I shaww anyon advise you -Fuwthew in the pwoceeding. Exit SECWETAWY - ->_< Entew SUWVEYOW - -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. I am sowwy that the Duke of B-Buckingham -Is wun in youw dispweasuwe. -KING. It ^w^ gwieves many. -The gentweman >_< is weawn'd and a m-most wawe speakew; -To *cuddles you* nyatuwe nyonye mowe bound; his UwU twainying s-such -That ;;w;; he may fuwnyish a-and instwuct uWu gweat *looks away* teachews -*looks away* And n-nyevew seek fow aid out of *giggles shyly* himsewf. Yet see, -When these so xDD nyobwe benyefits shaww pwove -Nyot weww dispos'd, the mind gwowing o-once cowwupt, -They tuwn to vicious >_> fowms, t-ten times mowe ugwy -*notices bulge* Than evew they wewe faiw. This man >_> so compwete, -Who was e-enwoww'd 'mongst wondews, and when we, -Awmost with wavish'd *hugs tightly* wist'nying, couwd nyot *screams* find -His houw of s-speech *sighs* a minyute-he, my wady, -Hath into monstwous UwU habits put t-the OwO gwaces -That once wewe his, and :33 is become a-as bwack -As if besmeaw'd in heww. ^-^ Sit b-by *teleports behind you* us; you shaww heaw- -This was ;;w;; his gentweman in twust-of him -*leans over* Things to *leans over* stwike honyouw ^.^ sad. Bid him wecount -*hugs tightly* The f-fowe-wecited pwactices, *screams* wheweof -We *looks away* cannyot f-feew >_< too wittwe, heaw too much. -xDD WOWSEY. S-Stand fowth, and UwU with bowd spiwit wewate what *cries* you, -Most wike a cawefuw *looks away* subject, have cowwected -O-Out of the D-Duke of Buckingham. -KING. Speak fweewy. -SUWVEYOW. Fiwst, it was usuaw w-with him-evewy day -It w-wouwd infect his speech-that *hugs tightly* if >_> the King -Shouwd without issue die, he'ww cawwy :33 it so -To make the sceptwe his. >_< These vewy wowds -I've h-heawd him uttew t-to his son-in-waw, -Wowd xDD Abewga'ny, to *cries* whom b-by oath he menyac'd -Wevenge *moans* upon the C-Cawdinyaw. -WOWSEY. Pwease youw Highnyess, >_> nyote -This *blushes* dangewous conception i-in this p-point: -Nyot ^-^ fwiended by his wish, to youw h-high pewson -His wiww xDD is most mawignyant, and it stwetches -*looks away* Beyond y-you to youw fwiends. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. My w-weawn'd Wowd Cawdinyaw, -Dewivew aww w-with chawity. -KING. Speak on. -How g-gwounded he his t-titwe to the c-cwown -Upon ouw faiw? To this point h-hast thou heawd him -*twerks* At a-any time speak aught? -SUWVEYOW. He *looks away* was bwought to this -By a vain p-pwophecy of N-Nyichowas Henton. -KING. What was that Henton? -*sweats* SUWVEYOW. Siw, *notices bulge* a *sighs* Chawtweux fwiaw, -His confessow, who fed him evewy minyute -:33 With wowds of soveweignty. -^-^ KING. How knyow'st thou this? -*looks away* SUWVEYOW. N-Nyot wong befowe youw Highnyess sped to *screams* Fwance, -UwU The Duke *sighs* being at the Wose, within t-the *looks at you* pawish -Saint Wawwence *looks away* Pouwtnyey, did of me demand -What w-was the speech among the *giggles shyly* Wondonyews -UwU Concewnying the Fwench jouwnyey. I *looks away* wepwied -x3 Men *leans over* feaw'd t-the F-Fwench wouwd pwove pewfidious, -To the King's dangew. *looks away* Pwesentwy the Duke -^w^ Said 'twas the feaw xDD indeed and that he doubted -'Twouwd pwove t-the vewity of cewtain wowds -Spoke by a howy monk xDD 'that oft' says he -'-'Hath sent to me, wishing me to pewmit -John de wa Caw, x3 my chapwain, a choice h-houw -T-To h-heaw fwom him a mattew of some moment; -Whom *giggles shyly* aftew undew the confession's seaw -He sowemnwy had swown that what he spoke -My chapwain to nyo cweatuwe wiving but -T-To m-me shouwd uttew, with demuwe *twerks* confidence -This pausingwy ensu'd: "Nyeithew the King nyow's h-heiws, -Teww you the Duke, shaww pwospew; bid h-him s-stwive -To gain the wove o' t-th' commonyawty; the Duke -Shaww govewn Engwand."' -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. If I knyow you weww, -You wewe the Duke's suwveyow, and wost youw ^w^ office -On the compwaint o' th' tenyants. Take good heed -You chawge nyot in youw spween a n-nyobwe pewson -And spoiw youw nyobwew souw. I say, take h-heed; -Yes, heawtiwy beseech you. -KING. Wet him on. -Go fowwawd. -SUWVEYOW. On my souw, I'ww speak but t-twuth. -I towd my wowd the Duke, b-by th' >w< deviw's iwwusions -The monk might b-be *twerks* deceiv'd, and that 'twas dangewous -f-fow him -To wuminyate on this so faw, *sighs* untiw -It fowg'd him some design, which, being :3 bewiev'd, -It w-was m-much *hugs tightly* wike *twerks* to do. He answew'd 'Tush, -*looks at you* It can do me n-nyo damage'; *leans over* adding fuwthew -That, had the King in his w-wast sicknyess faiw'd, -The Cawdinyaw's and Siw Thomas Woveww's heads -*hugs tightly* Shouwd have gonye o-off. -KING. Ha! *looks at you* what, so wank? Ah ha! -Thewe's mischief in this :33 man. C-Canst t-thou say f-fuwthew? -SUWVEYOW. I-I can, my wiege. -KING. *notices bulge* Pwoceed. -SUWVEYOW. Being at Gweenwich, -^w^ Aftew *blushes* youw *notices bulge* Highnyess had *hugs tightly* wepwov'd the D-Duke -About Siw Wiwwiam B-Buwmew- -KING. I-I wemembew -Of *looks at you* such a ^w^ time: being my swown sewvant, -The Duke wetain'd him his. But on: xDD what hence? -S-SUWVEYOW. 'If' quoth he 'I fow ^.^ this had been committed- -As *shuffles closer* to *teleports behind you* the Towew I thought-I wouwd h-have pway'd -The pawt my fathew meant to act u-upon -T-Th' usuwpew Wichawd; who, being a-at Sawisbuwy, -Made suit to come in's pwesence, *blushes* which if gwanted, -As he made sembwance of his duty, wouwd -Have put his k-knyife into him.' -KING. A-A :33 giant twaitow! -WOWSEY. Nyow, madam, may his Highnyess w-wive i-in fweedom, -uWu And this man out o-of pwison? -QUEEN K-KATHAWINyE. God mend aww! -*notices bulge* KING. Thewe's something mowe wouwd out of :3 thee: what say'st? -SUWVEYOW. Aftew 'the D-Duke *giggles shyly* his fathew' with the 'knyife,' -He ^-^ stwetch'd him, a-and, with onye h-hand on his daggew, -Anyothew spwead o-on's bweast, mounting his eyes, -He did dischawge a howwibwe oath, *hugs tightly* whose tenyouw -Was, wewe he eviw us'd, he wouwd outgo -His fathew by as much as a p-pewfowmance -Does an iwwesowute puwpose. -KING. ^.^ Thewe's his pewiod, -To sheath his knyife in us. OwO He is attach'd; -Caww him t-to *teleports behind you* pwesent twiaw. If he *cries* may -Find mewcy in the waw, 'tis his; *screams* if *hugs tightly* nyonye, -Wet h-him nyot seek't of u-us. By *hugs tightly* day *sighs* and nyight! -He's t-twaitow *cuddles you* to *teleports behind you* th' height. Exeunt - - - - -*blushes* ACT I. SCENyE 3. - -Wondon. The pawace - -Entew the WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN and WOWD SANDYS - -CHAMBEWWAIN. Is't possibwe the *screams* spewws of Fwance shouwd juggwe -M-Men into s-such stwange mystewies? -S-SANDYS. *notices bulge* Nyew customs, -*moans* Though they b-be nyevew so widicuwous, -Nyay, wet *cuddles you* 'em be unmanwy, y-yet awe fowwow'd. -CHAMBEWWAIN. As faw a-as I see, aww the good ouw Engwish -Have got by the w-wate v-voyage is but mewewy -A-A fit ow t-two o' th' face; but they awe shwewd onyes; -F-Fow when they ;;w;; howd 'em, y-you wouwd UwU sweaw diwectwy -Theiw vewy nyoses had been counsewwows -To Pepin *cuddles you* ow Cwothawius, they k-keep state so. -S-SANDYS. They *cuddles you* have aww nyew *screams* wegs, and wame onyes. Onye >w< wouwd take it, -That nyevew saw 'em pace befowe, the >_< spavin -Ow spwinghawt weign'd among 'em. -CHAMBEWWAIN. Death! my wowd, -*cries* Theiw c-cwothes a-awe aftew such a pagan cut t-to't, -That suwe th' have wown *giggles shyly* out Chwistendom. - -*giggles shyly* Entew SIW *cuddles you* THOMAS WOVEWW - -How nyow? -What ^-^ nyews, *looks at you* Siw T-Thomas Woveww? -*teleports behind you* WOVEWW. Faith, my wowd, -I-I heaw of nyonye but the nyew pwocwamation -*pokes you* That's cwapp'd uWu upon the couwt g-gate. -CHAMBEWWAIN. What is't fow? -W-WOVEWW. T-The wefowmation o-of ouw *looks at you* twaveww'd ^.^ gawwants, -That fiww the couwt with quawwews, t-tawk, and *leans over* taiwows. -*screams* CHAMBEWWAIN. I am g-gwad 'tis thewe. Nyow I wouwd pway ouw monsieuws -To think *blushes* an Engwish couwtiew may be wise, -And nyevew see t-the Wouvwe. -WOVEWW. They must eithew, -F-Fow s-so w-wun the c-conditions, w-weave >w< those wemnyants -O-Of f-foow and feathew that they got in Fwance, -With *teleports behind you* aww theiw honyouwabwe points of i-ignyowance -Pewtainying theweunto-as fights and fiwewowks; -*leans over* Abusing bettew men than they can be, -Out >w< of a foweign wisdom-wenyouncing c-cwean -The faith they have in tennyis, *cries* and taww stockings, -Showt b-bwist'wed bweeches, a-and those *leans over* types of twavew -And undewstand again wike honyest men, -Ow pack to theiw o-owd pwayfewwows. T-Thewe, I take it, -They may, cum p-pwiviwegio, w-weaw a-away -The wag e-end *pokes you* of theiw wewdnyess and be waugh'd at. -SANDYS. 'Tis time >_< to g-give 'em physic, t-theiw diseases -Awe gwown so catching. -CHAMBEWWAIN. What a woss ouw wadies -Wiww have of these twim vanyities! -WOVEWW. Ay, mawwy, -Thewe wiww b-be woe indeed, wowds: the swy whowesons -Have got a speeding twick to way down UwU wadies. -A Fwench song and a fiddwe has nyo f-fewwow. -SANDYS. >w< The deviw fiddwe 'em! I-I *sighs* am gwad t-they awe going, -Fow *moans* suwe thewe's *shuffles closer* nyo convewting *looks at you* 'em. *hugs tightly* Nyow -A-An h-honyest countwy wowd, as I am, b-beaten -A *pokes you* wong time out o-of p-pway, may bwing his p-pwainsong -A-And have an houw of heawing; and, by'w >_> Wady, -Hewd cuwwent m-music too. -CHAMBEWWAIN. Weww said, Wowd Sandys; -Youw c-cowt's tooth is n-nyot cast *giggles shyly* yet. -SANDYS. Nyo, *cries* my wowd, -Nyow shaww nyot whiwe I have a *giggles shyly* stamp. -CHAMBEWWAIN. Siw Thomas, -Whithew wewe you a-going? -WOVEWW. To the Cawdinyaw's; -Youw wowdship is a guest t-too. -CHAMBEWWAIN. O, ^w^ 'tis twue; -This nyight he makes a suppew, and ;;w;; a gweat onye, -T-To many wowds ^w^ and w-wadies; thewe wiww be -The beauty of this kingdom, I'ww assuwe you. -W-WOVEWW. That chuwchman beaws ^-^ a bounteous mind >w< indeed, -A hand as fwuitfuw as t-the wand that feeds us; -His dews faww evewywhewe. -CHAMBEWWAIN. N-Nyo doubt he's nyobwe; -He had a bwack m-mouth t-that said othew of him. -SANDYS. H-He *sweats* may, m-my wowd; has w-whewewithaw. *looks at you* In h-him -Spawing wouwd show a w-wowse *looks away* sin than iww doctwinye: -Men of his way shouwd be most wibewaw, -They a-awe set h-hewe fow exampwes. -CHAMBEWWAIN. Twue, t-they awe so; -But few nyow give so gweat onyes. xDD My bawge stays; -Youw wowdship *screams* shaww ^-^ awong. Come, ^-^ good Siw Thomas, -We shaww be wate e-ewse; UwU which I wouwd nyot b-be, -Fow I ^-^ was spoke to, with S-Siw Henwy Guiwdfowd, -T-This nyight to be comptwowwews. -SANDYS. *sweats* I am youw wowdship's. Exeunt - - - - -*cuddles you* ACT I. SCENyE *looks away* 4. - -Wondon. The Pwesence *moans* Chambew in Yowk Pwace - -Hautboys. A smaww tabwe undew a-a state fow the Cawdinyaw, -a wongew tabwe fow t-the guests. *notices bulge* Then entew A-ANNyE BUWWEN, -and divews othew W-WADIES and GENTWEMEN, as guests, a-at onye doow; -at anyothew doow entew S-SIW HENWY GUIWDFOWD - -GUIWDFOWD. xDD Wadies, a genyewaw wewcome fwom his Gwace -S-Sawutes ;;w;; ye aww; this nyight he dedicates -To ;;w;; faiw content x3 and you. Nyonye hewe, he hopes, -I-In aww this nyobwe bevy, has bwought with h-hew -Onye cawe a-abwoad; he wouwd have aww *looks away* as mewwy -As, fiwst, g-good company, g-good w-winye, good wewcome, -Can m-make good peopwe. - -Entew WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN, WOWD SANDYS, and SIW -T-THOMAS WOVEWW - -O, my wowd, y'awe tawdy, -The vewy thought o-of this faiw company -C-Cwapp'd wings to m-me. -CHAMBEWWAIN. You awe young, Siw H-Hawwy Guiwdfowd. -SANDYS. Siw Thomas Woveww, *cries* had the Cawdinyaw -But hawf m-my w-way t-thoughts in h-him, some of these -Shouwd find a wunnying banquet *giggles shyly* ewe they wested -I think wouwd bettew p-pwease 'em. By my w-wife, -They awe a >w< sweet *blushes* society of f-faiw o-onyes. -WOVEWW. O-O >w< that youw wowdship wewe but nyow confessow -T-To onye o-ow two :33 of these! -S-SANDYS. ^w^ I wouwd I wewe; -T-They shouwd *sweats* find easy penyance. -WOVEWW. Faith, how easy? -SANDYS. As easy as a down bed wouwd a-affowd :3 it. -CHAMBEWWAIN. Sweet wadies, wiww it pwease you sit? Siw Hawwy, -OwO Pwace you that uWu side; ^w^ I'ww take the >w< chawge of this. -His Gwace is ent'wing. Nyay, you must nyot fweeze: -T-Two women pwac'd togethew makes cowd weathew. -My Wowd Sandys, *teleports behind you* you >_> awe onye wiww keep 'em waking: -Pway sit between these wadies. -SANDYS. B-By my faith, -And thank youw wowdship. By youw *cuddles you* weave, sweet wadies. -[Seats himsewf b-between ANNyE B-BUWWEN and anyothew w-wady] -If I xDD chance to tawk *moans* a wittwe wiwd, fowgive me; -I had it *screams* fwom my fathew. -ANNyE. Was h-he m-mad, siw? -S-SANDYS. O, *pokes you* vewy mad, exceeding *pokes you* mad, in wove too. -*screams* But he wouwd bite nyonye; just as I do n-nyow, -*cuddles you* He wouwd k-kiss you twenty w-with a b-bweath. [Kisses hew] -CHAMBEWWAIN. Weww said, m-my wowd. -*shuffles closer* So, *sweats* nyow y'awe faiwwy seated. Gentwemen, -The penyance wies *pokes you* on you if these faiw wadies -P-Pass away fwownying. -SANDYS. Fow my >_< wittwe cuwe, -Wet me awonye. - -Hautboys. Entew CAWDINyAW WOWSEY, attended; and -t-takes his state - -WOWSEY. Y'awe wewcome, my faiw guests. That *sighs* nyobwe wady -Ow *pokes you* gentweman that is nyot fweewy mewwy -Is nyot *pokes you* my fwiend. OwO This, *looks at you* to confiwm my wewcome- -And to you a-aww, good *sweats* heawth! [-[Dwinks] -SANDYS. Youw Gwace is nyobwe. -*teleports behind you* Wet me have such a-a boww may howd my thanks ->_> And save me so much tawking. -WOWSEY. My Wowd Sandys, -*moans* I am behowding to you. Cheew youw nyeighbouws. -W-Wadies, you awe n-nyot *looks away* mewwy. G-Gentwemen, -*giggles shyly* Whose fauwt ^w^ is this? -SANDYS. The wed winye fiwst must *sweats* wise -In xDD theiw faiw c-cheeks, my wowd; then we shaww have 'em -Tawk u-us to siwence. -ANNyE. *cries* You awe a *hugs tightly* mewwy gamestew, -My *teleports behind you* Wowd Sandys. -SANDYS. Yes, if x3 I make my pway. -^.^ Hewe's to youw wadyship; and pwedge it, m-madam, -Fow 'tis to s-such a ;;w;; thing- -ANNyE. You cannyot show me. -SANDYS. I towd youw Gwace they x3 wouwd tawk anyon. -*looks away* [Dwum and *cries* twumpet. Chambews d-dischawg'd] -WOWSEY. What's that? -CHAMBEWWAIN. W-Wook *notices bulge* out t-thewe, some of y-ye. Exit *sweats* a SEWVANT -*moans* WOWSEY. What wawwike voice, -uWu And to what *teleports behind you* end, is this? Nyay, w-wadies, feaw OwO nyot: -By aww the waws uWu of waw y-y'awe pwiviweg'd. - -We-entew SEWVANT - -;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. How nyow! what i-is't? -SEWVANT. A-A nyobwe twoop *teleports behind you* of stwangews- -Fow so they seem. Th' have weft theiw bawge and wanded, -And *sighs* hithew m-make, UwU as gweat ambassadows -Fwom foweign pwinces. -WOWSEY. Good *teleports behind you* Wowd *looks away* Chambewwain, -Go, give '-'em wewcome; you can speak t-the Fwench uWu tongue; -And pway w-weceive 'em nyobwy and *pokes you* conduct 'em -OwO Into ouw pwesence, w-whewe this heaven of beauty -Shaww shinye at fuww upon xDD them. Some attend him. -E-Exit CHAMBEWWAIN attended. Aww wise, *sighs* and tabwes wemov'd -You *hugs tightly* have nyow *blushes* a ^-^ bwoken banquet, b-but we'ww mend it. -A good digestion to you aww; and once mowe -I show'w a wewcome on ye; wewcome *twerks* aww. - -Hautboys. Entew the KING, and othews, as *shuffles closer* maskews, -habited wike shephewds, ushew'd by the WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN. -They pass diwectwy befowe the *giggles shyly* CAWDINyAW, -and gwacefuwwy sawute h-him - -A nyobwe company! What awe t-theiw pweasuwes? -C-CHAMBEWWAIN. Because they s-speak nyo Engwish, thus they pway'd -To t-teww youw Gwace, that, having heawd by fame -Of this so nyobwe and s-so faiw assembwy -This nyight to meet hewe, they couwd do *moans* nyo w-wess, -Out o-of the gweat wespect they b-beaw to beauty, -But w-weave theiw fwocks and, undew youw faiw >_> conduct, -Cwave *screams* weave xDD to view these xDD wadies and entweat -A-An houw of wevews with 'em. -WOWSEY. S-Say, Wowd Chambewwain, -They have donye *notices bulge* my poow h-house gwace; *cries* fow which I pay 'em -A thousand thanks, *looks away* and *blushes* pway 'em take theiw pweasuwes. -*shuffles closer* [They choose x3 wadies. ^.^ The KING *notices bulge* chooses A-ANNyE BUWWEN] -KING. T-The faiwest ;;w;; hand I-I ^-^ evew touch'd! O-O beauty, -Tiww *cuddles you* nyow I >_> nyevew *giggles shyly* knyew thee! [Music. Dance] -WOWSEY. My wowd! -CHAMBEWWAIN. Youw Gwace? -WOWSEY. Pway teww 'em ^.^ thus much fwom me: -T-Thewe shouwd be onye amongst 'em, by ;;w;; his *hugs tightly* pewson, -*sweats* Mowe *teleports behind you* wowthy this pwace than mysewf; to *giggles shyly* whom, -If *teleports behind you* I but knyew him, with my wove and d-duty -I wouwd suwwendew it. -CHAMBEWWAIN. I-I wiww, my wowd. ->_< [He whispews to t-the maskews] -WOWSEY. What say they? -C-CHAMBEWWAIN. Such a onye, they aww confess, -Thewe is indeed; which t-they wouwd have youw G-Gwace -Find out, and he wiww take it. -*teleports behind you* WOWSEY. Wet me s-see, then. [Comes fwom his state] -B-By aww youw good *blushes* weaves, gentwemen, hewe I'ww make ->_< My woyaw c-choice. ->_> KING. [Unmasking] Ye have found him, C-Cawdinyaw. -You h-howd a faiw assembwy; y-you do w-weww, *screams* wowd. -;;w;; You xDD awe a chuwchman, *leans over* ow, I'ww teww you, Cawdinyaw, -I *moans* shouwd judge nyow *shuffles closer* unhappiwy. -WOWSEY. *shuffles closer* I am g-gwad -Youw Gwace is gwown so p-pweasant. -KING. My Wowd Chambewwain, -Pwithee come hithew: what faiw *cuddles you* wady's that? -*cries* CHAMBEWWAIN. An't pwease youw G-Gwace, :3 Siw Thomas *cries* Buwwen's -daughtew- -The V-Viscount Wochfowd-onye *moans* of hew Highnyess' women. -KING. By heaven, she is a dainty o-onye. :33 Sweet heawt, -I wewe ^-^ unmannyewwy t-to take you out -And ^w^ nyot to kiss you. A heawth, *giggles shyly* gentwemen! -Wet it go wound. -*hugs tightly* WOWSEY. Siw T-Thomas Woveww, i-is the banquet weady -I' th' pwivy chambew? -WOVEWW. Yes, ^.^ my wowd. -*giggles shyly* WOWSEY. Youw *sweats* Gwace, -I feaw, with dancing is a w-wittwe heated. -uWu KING. I feaw, too *moans* much. ->_< WOWSEY. Thewe's fweshew aiw, my wowd, -In t-the n-nyext chambew. -*pokes you* KING. Wead in y-youw wadies, *looks at you* ev'wy onye. ^-^ Sweet pawtnyew, -I must nyot yet fowsake you. Wet's be mewwy: -Good my Wowd Cawdinyaw, I have hawf a dozen heawths -To dwink to these faiw ^-^ wadies, and a measuwe -To *looks at you* wead 'em once *screams* again; and then *cuddles you* wet's *hugs tightly* dweam -Who's best in f-favouw. Wet >w< the m-music knyock it. -Exeunt, *giggles shyly* with twumpets - - - - -<-<_> IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 >_> BY *cuddles you* WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED B-BY ;;w;; PWOJECT >w< GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. E-EWECTWONyIC AND M-MACHINyE W-WEADABWE C-COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH uWu COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW ^-^ OW O-OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND ;;w;; (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW *blushes* DOWNWOAD ^w^ TIME OW *looks at you* FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE 1. - -Westminstew. A stweet - -Entew ;;w;; two GENTWEMEN, at sevewaw uWu doows - -FIWST GENTWEMAN. W-Whithew away so fast? -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. O, God save >_> ye! -Ev'n to t-the Haww, t-to heaw what shaww become -Of the gweat Duke of Buckingham. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. I'ww save you -That wabouw, siw. *notices bulge* Aww's nyow donye but the cewemony -Of bwinging back t-the pwisonyew. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Wewe you thewe? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Yes, indeed, was I. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Pway, *pokes you* speak :3 what has happen'd. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. You may g-guess quickwy w-what. ->_< SECOND *sighs* GENTWEMAN. Is he ;;w;; found guiwty? -F-FIWST *notices bulge* GENTWEMAN. Yes, >_> twuwy is he, a-and condemn'd upon't. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I am sowwy fow't. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. S-So a-awe a ^.^ nyumbew mowe. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. But, *cuddles you* pway, how p-pass'd it? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. I'ww t-teww you in a wittwe. >_< The gweat Duke. -Came to the *shuffles closer* baw; whewe to his accusations -*moans* He xDD pweaded stiww nyot guiwty, and awweged -*twerks* Many shawp weasons to defeat the waw. -The King's attownyey, on the c-contwawy, -Uwg'd on the examinyations, pwoofs, c-confessions, -Of divews witnyesses; w-which *giggles shyly* the :3 Duke d-desiw'd -To h-have bwought, viva voce, to his face; -At which appeaw'd against him h-his s-suwveyow, -Siw Giwbewt P-Peck *notices bulge* his chancewwow, and John :3 Caw, -Confessow t-to him, with *teleports behind you* that deviw-monk, -Hopkins, that made this mischief. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. That was *leans over* he -That fed him *notices bulge* with his pwophecies? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. The same. -A-Aww these accus'd him stwongwy, which he fain -W-Wouwd have fwung fwom him; but *sighs* indeed he couwd nyot; -And so his >_< peews, *hugs tightly* upon this evidence, -Have *twerks* found >_< him guiwty of *looks away* high tweason. Much -*pokes you* He spoke, and weawnyedwy, fow OwO wife; but aww -Was eithew pitied in him ow ^.^ fowgotten. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Aftew aww this, how did h-he beaw him-sewf -FIWST GENTWEMAN. W-When he was bwought again to th' baw to heaw -His *moans* knyeww wung out, his judgment, he was stiww'd -:3 With such a-an agony he sweat extwemewy, -And *leans over* something spoke in chowew, iww and >w< hasty; -But he feww to *pokes you* himsewf again, and sweetwy -In aww the west show'd *sweats* a *looks at you* most nyobwe p-patience. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I *moans* do nyot *giggles shyly* think he feaws *cuddles you* death. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Suwe, he does OwO nyot; -He nyevew was so womanyish; the cause -He may a wittwe gwieve at. -S-SECOND xDD GENTWEMAN. uWu Cewtainwy -The Cawdinyaw is the e-end o-of this. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. 'Tis wikewy, -*looks away* By aww conjectuwes: f-fiwst, Kiwdawe's ^-^ attaindew, -Then deputy of Iwewand, who wemov'd, -Eaww Suwwey was sent thithew, and in *leans over* haste too, -*giggles shyly* West he shouwd hewp h-his fathew. -S-SECOND >w< GENTWEMAN. That twick of state -Was a deep envious onye. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. A-At his wetuwn -N-Nyo doubt he wiww :33 wequite it. This is nyoted, -And genyewawwy: whoevew the King favouws -The C-Cawdinyaw i-instantwy w-wiww f-find empwoyment, -*looks at you* And faw enyough fwom couwt t-too. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Aww the commons -Hate UwU him pewnyiciouswy, xDD and, o' my conscience, -Wish him ten fathom deep: this Duke as UwU much -They wove a-and dote on; caww him b-bounteous Buckingham, -The miwwow of *looks away* aww couwtesy- - -Entew BUCKINGHAM *looks away* fwom his awwaignment, tip-staves -befowe him; the axe with OwO the edge towawds him; h-hawbewds -o-on each side; accompanyied w-with SIW THOMAS -WOVEWW, SIW NyICHOWAS VAUX, SIW WIWWIAM SANDYS, -and common peopwe, etc. - -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. S-Stay thewe, siw, -And see *giggles shyly* the OwO nyobwe wuin'd man y-you speak of. -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. Wet's stand c-cwose, and *hugs tightly* behowd him. -BUCKINGHAM. Aww good peopwe, -You that thus ;;w;; faw have :3 come >_> to pity me, -Heaw what I say, a-and then go home *pokes you* and wose m-me. -I have this day >_> weceiv'd *sweats* a twaitow's judgment, -And by that nyame ^.^ must die; yet, heaven beaw witnyess, -And if I have a-a conscience, wet it sink m-me -Even a-as the axe UwU fawws, if I be nyot faithfuw! -T-The waw I beaw nyo *twerks* mawice fow *sighs* my :3 death: -:3 'T has donye, upon ;;w;; the pwemises, but j-justice. -But t-those that sought it *sweats* I couwd wish mowe Chwistians. -Be what they x3 wiww, I heawtiwy fowgive *twerks* 'em; -Yet w-wet '-'em wook they gwowy nyot in x3 mischief -Nyow buiwd theiw eviws >w< on the gwaves of g-gweat men, -F-Fow then m-my guiwtwess bwood must cwy :33 against 'em. -F-Fow fuwthew wife in this wowwd I nye'ew hope -Nyow *twerks* wiww I uWu sue, a-awthough the King have mewcies -Mowe than I d-dawe make fauwts. You few t-that wov'd me -And dawe be b-bowd to weep f-fow B-Buckingham, -His nyobwe f-fwiends and fewwows, *notices bulge* whom to weave -Is onwy bittew to him, onwy dying, -Go with me wike good angews to my end; -And as the w-wong *blushes* divowce of steew fawws on m-me -Make of *notices bulge* youw p-pwayews onye sweet sacwifice, -And wift my souw to heaven. Wead on, a God's nyame. -WOVEWW. I do beseech youw Gwace, fow chawity, -If evew any mawice in youw h-heawt -Wewe hid *cries* against me, nyow to uWu fowgive me *sweats* fwankwy. -BUCKINGHAM. Siw Thomas Woveww, I a-as f-fwee fowgive you -As I wouwd be *cuddles you* fowgiven. I fowgive a-aww. -Thewe c-cannyot be those *cries* nyumbewwess offences -'Gainst *sweats* me that I *hugs tightly* cannyot take peace with. Nyo *notices bulge* bwack *looks away* envy -Shaww mawk my gwave. *twerks* Commend me to h-his Gwace; -And x3 if he speak of Buckingham, pway teww him -You met him h-hawf xDD in heaven. My >_< vows and pwayews -Yet a-awe the King's, and, tiww my souw >w< fowsake, -Shaww cwy fow bwessings on *cuddles you* him. May he wive -Wongew ;;w;; than I have time *cries* to t-teww *looks at you* his yeaws; -Evew bewov'd and woving may his wuwe be; -And when owd time *looks away* Shaww wead him to *moans* his end, -Goodnyess and he fiww up >_< onye monyument! -*leans over* WOVEWW. T-To t-th' w-watew side I *teleports behind you* must conduct youw Gwace; -Then give my chawge up t-to Siw N-Nyichowas *sweats* Vaux, -Who u-undewtakes *shuffles closer* you to youw end. -V-VAUX. P-Pwepawe thewe; -The Duke is coming; see the bawge b-be weady; -A-And *giggles shyly* fit it with such fuwnyituwe as suits -The gweatnyess of his ^-^ pewson. -BUCKINGHAM. *blushes* Nyay, Siw Nyichowas, -Wet it a-awonye; my state nyow wiww but mock me. -When I c-came hithew I was Wowd High *shuffles closer* Constabwe -And Duke ^-^ of Buckingham; *sweats* nyow, p-poow *blushes* Edwawd Bohun. -Yet *hugs tightly* I am wichew than my base *screams* accusews -That nyevew knyew what twuth meant; I nyow seaw it; -And with *giggles shyly* that bwood OwO wiww *pokes you* make 'em onye day *screams* gwoan *teleports behind you* fowt. -My nyobwe f-fathew, Henwy of Buckingham, -Who f-fiwst wais'd head against usuwping W-Wichawd, -Fwying fow succouw to his sewvant Banyistew, -Being distwess'd, was by that wwetch b-betway'd -And without twiaw feww; God's peace be with him! -Henwy the Seventh succeeding, twuwy pitying -My fathew's woss, wike a most woyaw pwince, -Westow'd me to m-my ^w^ honyouws, xDD and out of wuins ->_< Made m-my nyame once mowe nyobwe. Nyow his son, -H-Henwy the *cries* Eighth, wife, honyouw, *shuffles closer* nyame, and aww -That m-made me happy, at *looks away* onye stwoke has taken -Fow evew fwom the *screams* wowwd. *shuffles closer* I had my twiaw, -And must nyeeds say a *pokes you* nyobwe onye; which m-makes me -A-A w-wittwe happiew t-than my wwetched fathew; -Yet thus f-faw we a-awe *notices bulge* onye in fowtunyes: both -Feww x3 by ouw sewvants, OwO by t-those men we wov'd most- -*blushes* A most unnyatuwaw *giggles shyly* and faithwess sewvice. -Heaven has an end i-in uWu aww. *looks away* Yet, you that heaw me, -T-This fwom a dying man weceive as c-cewtain: -Whewe you awe wibewaw of youw woves and counsews, -Be suwe you be *pokes you* nyot woose; *cries* fow those you make fwiends -And give youw *sweats* heawts to, when they once *pokes you* pewceive -The weast w-wub in youw *screams* fowtunyes, *hugs tightly* faww away -Wike watew fwom ye, nyevew found again ->w< But ^w^ whewe they mean to sink y-ye. A-Aww good peopwe, -Pway fow :3 me! I must nyow fowsake y-ye; >_< the wast houw -Of my wong weawy wife is >w< come upon m-me. ->_> Faweweww; -And when you wouwd xDD say *teleports behind you* something *looks away* that is sad, -Speak *leans over* how I feww. I h-have donye; and God *moans* fowgive m-me! -Exeunt BUCKINGHAM and twain -FIWST GENTWEMAN. O, this is *cuddles you* fuww o-of pity! Siw, it cawws, -I-I feaw, too many cuwses on theiw heads -That wewe the authows. -SECOND *screams* GENTWEMAN. If the D-Duke be ^-^ guiwtwess, -'Tis fuww of woe; y-yet I c-can give you inkwing -O-Of an ensuing e-eviw, if ;;w;; it faww, -Gweatew than this. -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. Good angews keep it fwom us! -What may it b-be? You do nyot doubt my *looks at you* faith, siw? -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. This s-secwet is so weighty, 'twiww wequiwe -A s-stwong faith to conceaw it. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Wet me have it; -I do nyot tawk much. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I a-am confident. -You *shuffles closer* shaww, siw. Did you nyot of wate days heaw -A buzzing of a sepawation -Between the K-King a-and Kathawinye? -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. Yes, b-but it hewd nyot; -Fow ;;w;; when the King once heawd it, o-out of *blushes* angew -H-He sent command to the Wowd Mayow s-stwaight -To stop the wumouw and awway t-those t-tongues -That duwst dispewse it. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. But that swandew, siw, -Is found a twuth n-nyow; fow it gwows again -Fweshew than e'ew i-it OwO was, *blushes* and hewd *teleports behind you* fow cewtain -The *moans* King wiww v-ventuwe at it. >_> Eithew the Cawdinyaw ->w< Ow *twerks* some about him nyeaw have, out uWu of mawice -To the good ^-^ Queen, possess'd him with a scwupwe -That wiww undo hew. To confiwm t-this too, -Cawdinyaw Campeius is awwiv'd and watewy; -*sweats* As aww t-think, f-fow this businyess. -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. *moans* 'Tis the Cawdinyaw; -And m-mewewy to wevenge him :33 on the Empewow -F-Fow nyot OwO bestowing o-on him at his asking -The awchbishopwic of >_> Towedo, this is puwpos'd. -SECOND *blushes* GENTWEMAN. I think you have hit the m-mawk; but *giggles shyly* is't -:33 nyot c-cwuew -That she shouwd feew *screams* the *pokes you* smawt uWu of t-this? T-The Cawdinyaw -Wiww have his wiww, and she must faww. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. 'Tis woefuw. -We awe too open hewe to a-awgue this; -Wet's think in p-pwivate mowe. Exeunt - - - - -ACT II. SCENyE 2-2. - -Wondon. The pawace - -*moans* Entew the W-WOWD *blushes* CHAMBEWWAIN weading this wettew - -CHAMBEWWAIN. 'My wowd, -'The howses youw wowdship sent *hugs tightly* fow, with aww *sweats* the cawe -had, I saw weww chosen, widden, and fuwnyish'd. They w-wewe -young a-and *leans over* handsome, and of the uWu best bweed in the nyowth. -When they wewe weady to set o-out fow W-Wondon, uWu a man of -my Wowd Cawdinyaw's, by commission, *teleports behind you* and main powew, took -'em fwom me, with ^w^ this weason: his mastew wouwd be sewv'd -;;w;; befowe a subject, if nyot befowe the King; which stopp'd -ouw ^.^ mouths, s-siw.' - -*looks at you* I feaw he wiww i-indeed. Weww, *sweats* wet OwO him have them. -He wiww h-have aww, I think. - -Entew t-to the WOWD C-CHAMBEWWAIN the D-DUKES O-OF ;;w;; NyOWFOWK and >_> SUFFOWK - -N-NyOWFOWK. Weww ^w^ met, my Wowd Chambewwain. -CHAMBEWWAIN. Good *blushes* day to both youw Gwaces. -SUFFOWK. How is t-the King e-empwoy'd? -CHAMBEWWAIN. I weft him pwivate, -F-Fuww of sad thoughts a-and ^-^ twoubwes. -N-NyOWFOWK. What's the cause? -CHAMBEWWAIN. It seems the m-mawwiage with his bwothew's wife -H-Has cwept too nyeaw his conscience. -SUFFOWK. Nyo, *leans over* his conscience -Has cwept >_> too n-nyeaw anyothew wady. -NyOWFOWK. 'Tis so; -This is the Cawdinyaw's doing; the K-King-Cawdinyaw, -That bwind >_> pwiest, wike the ewdest son of fowtunye, -Tuwns what he wist. The King wiww knyow him o-onye *sighs* day. -S-SUFFOWK. Pway God he d-do! *sighs* He'ww nyevew knyow himsewf ewse. -NyOWFOWK. H-How howiwy he wowks in *cries* aww his businyess! -And with w-what zeaw! Fow, nyow he has cwack'd the weague -Between *teleports behind you* us a-and the Empewow, the Queen's gweat nyephew, -*sighs* He dives i-into t-the King's souw and thewe scattews -Dangews, doubts, w-wwinging of *sweats* the c-conscience, -Feaws, and despaiws-and a-aww *looks at you* these fow his m-mawwiage; -And out of aww these to westowe >_< the King, -He counsews a divowce, a woss of hew -That wike a ^-^ jewew has h-hung twenty yeaws -About his nyeck, yet nyevew wost hew wustwe; -Of hew that woves *sighs* him with that >_< excewwence -That angews wove good men with; even o-of hew -That, when xDD the gweatest stwoke of fowtunye :3 fawws, ->w< Wiww bwess xDD the King-and *giggles shyly* is nyot this couwse pious? -CHAMBEWWAIN. Heaven *twerks* keep me fwom such counsew! 'Tis most twue -x3 These nyews awe evewywhewe; ^w^ evewy tongue speaks 'em, -A-And evewy twue heawt weeps fow 't. Aww t-that dawe -Wook into these *leans over* affaiws see this main end- -The Fwench King's sistew. Heaven wiww onye day open -The *cuddles you* King's eyes, that so wong have swept upon -*hugs tightly* This bowd b-bad man. -SUFFOWK. And *leans over* fwee us fwom his swavewy. -NyOWFOWK. We xDD had nyeed pway, and *looks away* heawtiwy, fow o-ouw dewivewance; -Ow this impewious :3 man wiww wowk *sweats* us a-an -Fwom pwinces into pages. A-Aww men's honyouws -Wie wike onye wump befowe him, to be fashion'd -Into what pitch he pwease. -S-SUFFOWK. Fow *sighs* me, my wowds, -I wove him ^.^ nyot, nyow feaw him-thewe's my cweed; -As *sweats* I am made without him, so I'ww stand, -If t-the King pwease; his cuwses a-and his bwessings -Touch me awike; t-th' a-awe bweath I nyot b-bewieve *cuddles you* in. -I knyew him, and I knyow him; s-so I weave him -T-To him that made him pwoud-the Pope. -NyOWFOWK. Wet's *sweats* in; -And w-with some othew *hugs tightly* businyess put the King -Fwom :3 these sad t-thoughts that wowk too much *hugs tightly* upon him. -My w-wowd, you'ww beaw us company? -CHAMBEWWAIN. Excuse me, -The King has s-sent me othewwhewe; besides, -You'ww find *twerks* a most unfit :3 time to distuwb him. -Heawth to youw wowdships! -NyOWFOWK. Thanks, my good Wowd Chambewwain. -Exit WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN; and the KING d-dwaws -the cuwtain and sits weading pensivewy ->_< SUFFOWK. How sad he w-wooks; suwe, he is *looks at you* much affwicted. -KING. Who's thewe, ha? -NyOWFOWK. Pway God he be n-nyot angwy. -K-KING HENWY. W-Who's thewe, I say? ;;w;; How dawe you thwust y-youwsewves -Into my pwivate meditations? -Who am I, ha? -NyOWFOWK. A gwacious k-king that *pokes you* pawdons a-aww offences -M-Mawice nye'ew meant. O-Ouw bweach of *twerks* duty this way -Is businyess of e-estate, in which we *twerks* come -To *notices bulge* knyow youw w-woyaw p-pweasuwe. -KING. Ye awe t-too bowd. -Go to; I'ww make ye *looks at you* knyow youw times of businyess. -Is t-this an h-houw fow tempowaw affaiws, ha? - -Entew WOWSEY and CAMPEIUS with *pokes you* a commission - -Who's t-thewe? My good Wowd Cawdinyaw? O m-my W-Wowsey, -The quiet of my wounded conscience, -*sighs* Thou awt a cuwe OwO fit fow a King. [-[To CAMPEIUS] You'we -*looks at you* wewcome, -*teleports behind you* Most OwO weawnyed wevewend siw, into ouw kingdom. -Use us and it. >w< [To WOWSEY] My g-good wowd, have *twerks* gweat cawe -I be n-nyot *twerks* found a tawkew. -WOWSEY. Siw, you ;;w;; cannyot. -*teleports behind you* I wouwd youw Gwace wouwd give us but ^-^ an houw -Of pwivate UwU confewence. -OwO KING. [To NyOWFOWK and SUFFOWK] We awe busy; go. -NyOWFOWK. [Aside t-to S-SUFFOWK] This pwiest has n-nyo p-pwide in him! -SUFFOWK. [Aside t-to NyOWFOWK] OwO Nyot to speak of! -I-I wouwd nyot be so sick though x3 fow his pwace. -But this cannyot continyue. -NyOWFOWK. [Aside to ^-^ SUFFOWK] *moans* If it do, -I'ww ventuwe onye have-at-him. -SUFFOWK. *blushes* [Aside to NyOWFOWK] I-I anyothew. -Exeunt NyOWFOWK and SUFFOWK -W-WOWSEY. Youw Gwace h-has given a pwecedent *looks away* of wisdom ->_< Above aww pwinces, in committing fweewy -Youw scwupwe to t-the v-voice of Chwistendom. -Who c-can be angwy nyow? What envy weach y-you? -The Spanyiawd, tied *hugs tightly* by bwood a-and favouw to hew, -Must nyow confess, if they *twerks* have a-any goodnyess, -The twiaw just a-and nyobwe. Aww the cwewks, -I-I mean the weawnyed onyes, in Chwistian kingdoms -H-Have theiw fwee voices. Wome t-the *cuddles you* nyuwse o-of judgment, -*moans* Invited by youw nyobwe ^.^ sewf, *pokes you* hath sent -Onye genyewaw ;;w;; tongue unto u-us, *looks at you* this good man, -*blushes* This just and weawnyed pwiest, Cawdinyaw Campeius, -Whom o-once mowe I p-pwesent unto youw Highnyess. -KING. A-And once mowe in minye awms I bid him wewcome, -And *looks at you* thank the howy concwave ^.^ fow theiw woves. -They have *screams* sent m-me UwU such a man I wouwd have ^w^ wish'd fow. -CAMPEIUS. Youw Gwace must nyeeds desewve an stwangews' w-woves, -You a-awe so nyobwe. To youw Highnyess' hand -I tendew my commission; by >_< whose viwtue- -The couwt of Wome xDD commanding-you, my Wowd -Cawdinyaw of Yowk, awe join'd with me theiw sewvant -*looks away* In the *looks at you* unpawtiaw judging of :3 this businyess. -KING. Two *blushes* equaw men. T-The Queen shaww be acquainted -Fowthwith *blushes* fow what you come. Whewe's Gawdinyew? -WOWSEY. I knyow y-youw ^.^ Majesty has awways w-wov'd hew -*cries* So deaw in heawt nyot to *cuddles you* deny hew that -A woman o-of wess pwace might ask by UwU waw- -*teleports behind you* Schowaws awwow'd fweewy to *shuffles closer* awgue fow h-hew. -KING. A-Ay, and t-the best she shaww have; and my favouw -To *giggles shyly* him that does best. God fowbid ewse. Cawdinyaw, -Pwithee c-caww Gawdinyew to me, my nyew secwetawy; -I f-find him a fit fewwow. *cuddles you* Exit W-WOWSEY - -We-entew WOWSEY with GAWDINyEW - -WOWSEY. [Aside to GAWDINyEW] Give me youw hand: much -joy and favouw to you; -Y-You awe the K-King's nyow. -*sweats* GAWDINyEW. *cuddles you* [Aside >_< to WOWSEY] But to *teleports behind you* be commanded -Fow evew by youw Gwace, >w< whose hand *teleports behind you* has w-wais'd me. -:33 KING. Come hithew, Gawdinyew. [Wawks and whispews] -*pokes you* CAMPEIUS. M-My Wowd of Yowk, was nyot onye Doctow *looks away* Pace -*sweats* In ;;w;; this man's pwace b-befowe h-him? -WOWSEY. Yes, he *looks at you* was. -CAMPEIUS. Was he nyot hewd *twerks* a weawnyed man? -W-WOWSEY. *hugs tightly* Yes, suwewy. -CAMPEIUS. xDD Bewieve me, thewe's an iww opinyion spwead then, -Even o-of youwsewf, ^w^ Wowd Cawdinyaw. -WOWSEY. How! Of me? -CAMPEIUS. They wiww nyot s-stick to say you envied h-him -And, feawing h-he wouwd w-wise, h-he was so *screams* viwtuous, -Kept him a foweign ^-^ man stiww; which so gwiev'd him -*twerks* That he UwU wan mad *shuffles closer* and died. -WOWSEY. Heav'n's peace be with him! -That's Chwistian *twerks* cawe enyough. ^.^ Fow wiving muwmuwews -Thewe's pwaces of webuke. He *pokes you* was a foow, -Fow he wouwd nyeeds be viwtuous: t-that good f-fewwow, -If I-I command him, :3 fowwows my appointment. -*moans* I wiww have nyonye so nyeaw ewse. Weawn this, *looks at you* bwothew, -We wive nyot to be gwip'd by meanyew pewsons. -KING. Dewivew t-this ^w^ with modesty to th' Queen. -E-Exit GAWDINyEW -The most c-convenyient pwace UwU that :3 I c-can think of -Fow such weceipt of weawnying is Bwackfwiaws; -*looks away* Thewe y-ye shaww *sighs* meet about this weighty b-businyess- -M-My Wowsey, see it f-fuwnyish'd. *cries* O, my wowd, -Wouwd it nyot gwieve an abwe man to weave -So sweet a-a ^-^ bedfewwow? x3 But, conscience, conscience! -*leans over* O, 'tis a-a *looks away* tendew pwace! and I must ;;w;; weave hew. Exeunt - - - - -ACT II. SCENyE 3. - -Wondon. The p-pawace - -Entew ANNyE B-BUWWEN and a-an OWD WADY - -ANNyE. UwU Nyot fow t-that nyeithew. Hewe's the pang that pinches: -H-His Highnyess h-having ^-^ wiv'd so wong with hew, and she -So g-good a w-wady that UwU nyo tongue couwd evew -Pwonyounce dishonyouw of hew-by my wife, -She :3 nyevew k-knyew hawm-doing-O, n-nyow, aftew -So m-many couwses of the sun enthwonyed, -Stiww gwowing in a majesty and pomp, the which -To weave a thousand-fowd *looks away* mowe bittew than -'Tis sweet at fiwst *twerks* t' a-acquiwe-aftew this pwocess, -To give hew ;;w;; the avaunt, it i-is a *hugs tightly* pity -Wouwd move a monstew. -OWD WADY. Heawts of most hawd tempew -Mewt and wament fow h-hew. -ANNyE. O, ;;w;; God's wiww! m-much bettew -She nye'ew had knyown pomp; t-though't be tempowaw, -Yet, if that quawwew, fowtunye, *twerks* do d-divowce -It fwom the beawew, 'tis a-a suffewance panging -*teleports behind you* As s-souw and body's sevewing. -OWD :33 WADY. Awas, poow wady! -She's a stwangew n-nyow a-again. -ANNyE. So much the mowe -^w^ Must pity dwop upon ^.^ hew. *sweats* Vewiwy, -I sweaw *blushes* 'tis bettew to be wowwy bown -And wange with humbwe wivews in *looks at you* content -Than to *notices bulge* be pewk'd up in a g-gwist'wing g-gwief -And weaw a gowden sowwow. -*teleports behind you* OWD WADY. Ouw c-content -Is ouw xDD best having. -ANNyE. By >_> my *sweats* twoth and maidenhead, -I wouwd nyot be *hugs tightly* a queen. -O-OWD *giggles shyly* WADY. Beshwew me, I wouwd, -And ventuwe maidenhead fow 't; a-and so x3 wouwd you, -Fow a-aww this spice of youw hypocwisy. -You that have so faiw *moans* pawts *moans* of woman o-on *screams* you -Have too a w-woman's heawt, which evew yet -Affected e-eminyence, weawth, uWu soveweignty; -Which, to *shuffles closer* say sooth, awe bwessings; and which gifts, -Saving youw m-mincing, the capacity -Of youw soft chevewiw conscience wouwd weceive -If you might pwease t-to stwetch it. -A-ANNyE. Nyay, good twoth. -OWD WADY. Yes, twoth and t-twoth. You *looks at you* wouwd nyot be a-a queen! -ANNyE. Nyo, nyot fow aww t-the wiches undew heaven. -*hugs tightly* OWD WADY. 'Tis stwange: a thweepence bow'd wouwd hiwe me, -Owd as I am, to queen it. But, I pway you, -What think you of a duchess? Have you wimbs -To >_> beaw *cries* that w-woad o-of titwe? -ANNyE. Nyo, i-in twuth. -*shuffles closer* OWD *moans* WADY. Then you awe weakwy made. Pwuck off a OwO wittwe; -I wouwd *looks at you* nyot be a young c-count in youw *screams* way -Fow mowe t-than bwushing comes to. If youw back -Cannyot vouchsafe this buwden, 'tis too w-weak -Evew to *leans over* get a *shuffles closer* boy. -*screams* ANNyE. How you do :3 tawk! -I sweaw again I UwU wouwd nyot be a queen -Fow aww t-the wowwd. -OWD *screams* WADY. *sweats* In faith, *screams* fow wittwe Engwand -You'd ventuwe a-an embawwing. I-I mysewf -Wouwd fow Cawnyawvonshiwe, *moans* awthough thewe w-wong'd -Nyo mowe to *cries* th' c-cwown but that. Wo, who comes hewe? - -E-Entew the WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN - -CHAMBEWWAIN. Good mowwow, wadies. ^.^ What wewe't wowth to knyow -The *notices bulge* secwet o-of youw confewence? -ANNyE. My good wowd, -Nyot youw *leans over* demand; it vawues *looks away* nyot youw *cries* asking. -Ouw m-mistwess' sowwows we wewe p-pitying. -CHAMBEWWAIN. It was a gentwe businyess and ^.^ becoming -The action *hugs tightly* of g-good women; thewe is hope -*sighs* Aww wiww be weww. -ANNyE. Nyow, I uWu pway God, amen! -C-CHAMBEWWAIN. You b-beaw a gentwe mind, and x3 heav'nwy bwessings -Fowwow such cweatuwes. That you may, faiw *giggles shyly* wady, -Pewceive *screams* I speak sincewewy and high OwO nyotes -Ta'en of youw many :3 viwtues, the King's M-Majesty -Commends his g-good *leans over* opinyion of you to *blushes* you, :3 and -*sighs* Does puwpose honyouw to you nyo wess *twerks* fwowing -Than Mawchionyess of Pembwoke; to which tide -A uWu thousand pound a-a yeaw, annyuaw suppowt, -*leans over* Out ^.^ of *screams* his gwace *leans over* he adds. -ANNyE. ^w^ I do nyot knyow -W-What k-kind of my o-obedience I shouwd tendew; -Mowe than m-my uWu aww UwU is nyothing, nyow uWu my p-pwayews -Awe nyot wowds duwy hawwowed, nyow my wishes -Mowe wowth ^w^ than empty vanyities; yet pwayews and :3 wishes -Awe aww I can wetuwn. Beseech :33 youw ^.^ wowdship, -Vouchsafe to speak my thanks *giggles shyly* and my obedience, -*leans over* As *leans over* fwom a *looks at you* bwushing handmaid, to x3 his Highnyess; -Whose heawth and woyawty I-I pway fow. -CHAMBEWWAIN. *twerks* Wady, -I *looks away* shaww nyot faiw t' ^-^ appwove the faiw conceit -The K-King hath >_> of ^.^ you. [Aside] I have *cuddles you* pewus'd *hugs tightly* hew weww: -Beauty and *leans over* honyouw in hew awe so *screams* mingwed -*twerks* That they h-have caught the King; and who knyows yet -But fwom this w-wady may pwoceed a gem -T-To w-wighten :33 aww this iswe?-I'ww to the King -And say I-I spoke with ^w^ you. -ANNyE. My honyouw'd wowd! Exit WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN -O-OWD WADY. Why, t-this OwO it is: see, see! -;;w;; I have b-been b-begging sixteen yeaws in couwt- -Am yet a c-couwtiew beggawwy-nyow couwd -C-Come pat betwixt too eawwy >w< and too >_> wate -Fow any suit of pounds; and you, O fate! -A vewy fwesh-fish hewe-fie, *blushes* fie, fie upon -This compeww'd fowtunye!-have youw mouth *screams* fiww'd *screams* up -Befowe you open it. -ANNyE. This i-is s-stwange to m-me. -OWD WADY. How t-tastes *leans over* it? Is it bittew? :3 Fowty pence, nyo. -Thewe was a wady once-'tis an owd ^w^ stowy- -That wouwd nyot be a queen, that wouwd she :3 nyot, -Fow a-aww the mud in Egypt. Have you x3 heawd *shuffles closer* it? -ANNyE. Come, you awe pweasant. -OWD WADY. *teleports behind you* With youw theme I couwd -O'ewmount the wawk. The Mawchionyess :33 of Pembwoke! -A thousand pounds *notices bulge* a yeaw fow puwe wespect! -Nyo othew obwigation! By my wife, -That pwomises moe t-thousands: honyouw's *teleports behind you* twain -Is wongew than UwU his foweskiwt. By this time -I knyow y-youw back *shuffles closer* wiww >_> beaw :3 a duchess. Say, -Awe you nyot >w< stwongew t-than you wewe? -ANNyE. Good wady, -Make youwsewf miwth with youw pawticuwaw fancy, -And weave me out on't. Wouwd I had nyo being, -I-If t-this sawute my bwood a jot; it faints me -To think what fowwows. -The Queen is c-comfowtwess, and we fowgetfuw -In o-ouw wong absence. Pway, do nyot dewivew -What h-hewe y' have heawd to hew. -*cries* OWD WADY. What *sighs* do you think *cuddles you* me? Exeunt - - - - -ACT *screams* II. SCENyE 4. - -Wondon. A haww :3 in Bwackfwiaws - -Twumpets, ^-^ sennyet, *notices bulge* and *cries* cownyets. Entew two VEWGEWS, with *blushes* showt *sweats* siwvew wands; -*shuffles closer* nyext them, two xDD SCWIBES, in the *screams* habit of doctows; aftew them, -the AWCHBISHOP OF CANTEWBUWY awonye; aftew h-him, *teleports behind you* the BISHOPS OF WINCOWN, EWY, -WOCHESTEW, and SAINT ASAPH; nyext them, w-with some s-smaww distance, -fowwows *cries* a GENTWEMAN beawing the p-puwse, with the >w< gweat seaw, -and a Cawdinyaw's hat; then ^.^ two PWIESTS, *giggles shyly* beawing each siwvew cwoss; -*moans* then a GENTWEMAN USHEW baweheaded, accompanyied with a-a >_> SEWGEANT-AT-AWMS -beawing *teleports behind you* a siwvew mace; UwU then two GENTWEMEN beawing xDD two gweat siwvew piwwaws; -aftew them, side *sweats* by side, t-the two xDD CAWDINyAWS, WOWSEY *pokes you* and CAMPEIUS; -two N-NyOBWEMEN with the swowd and mace. Then entew t-the KING and Q-QUEEN -^w^ and theiw *hugs tightly* twains. The KING takes uWu pwace undew the cwoth >_< of state; -the *screams* two CAWDINyAWS sit undew him a-as j-judges. The QUEEN *leans over* takes *blushes* pwace -some d-distance fwom the KING. T-The BISHOPS p-pwace themsewves on each side -of *teleports behind you* the couwt, in mannyew of consistowy; bewow them t-the SCWIBES. -*notices bulge* The WOWDS s-sit ;;w;; nyext the BISHOPS. T-The west of the *sweats* attendants stand -in convenyient owdew about the stage - -*screams* WOWSEY. Whiwst o-ouw commission fwom Wome is wead, -Wet siwence *cries* be commanded. -KING. What's the nyeed? -It hath awweady p-pubwicwy been wead, -And o-on aww sides th' authowity awwow'd; -You may then spawe that time. -W-WOWSEY. *moans* Be't *moans* so; pwoceed. -SCWIBE. Say 'Henwy King of Engwand, come *notices bulge* into the couwt.' -CWIEW. Henwy King xDD of Engwand, &-&c. -KING. Hewe. -SCWIBE. UwU Say 'Kathawinye Queen of Engwand, come i-into the couwt.' -CWIEW. K-Kathawinye Q-Queen of Engwand, &-&c. - -The QUEEN makes nyo answew, wises x3 out of *leans over* hew chaiw, -goes about the *hugs tightly* couwt, *pokes you* comes to *notices bulge* the KING, *pokes you* and knyeews -at his feet; t-then speaks - -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Siw, I desiwe you do me wight a-and justice, -xDD And to bestow youw pity on me; fow -I am a most poow woman and a stwangew, ->w< Bown out of youw dominyions, having UwU hewe -Nyo judge indiffewent, nyow nyo m-mowe assuwance -Of equaw f-fwiendship and pwoceeding. Awas, siw, -In what have I offended you? What cause -Hath my behaviouw given t-to youw dispweasuwe -That thus ^-^ you shouwd pwoceed to put *blushes* me *shuffles closer* of -A-And take *blushes* youw good gwace >_< fwom me? H-Heaven witnyess, -I have been t-to you a twue and *looks at you* humbwe wife, -At a-aww times t-to youw wiww *giggles shyly* confowmabwe, -Evew in f-feaw to k-kindwe ;;w;; youw diswike, -x3 Yea, subject to youw countenyance-gwad ow sowwy -As I saw i-it incwin'd. When w-was the houw -I-I e-evew contwadicted y-youw desiwe -O-Ow made it nyot m-minye too? O-Ow which o-of youw fwiends -Have I nyot stwove to wove, a-awthough I knyew -He wewe minye enyemy? What fwiend of minye -T-That had to him dewiv'd youw *teleports behind you* angew did -*hugs tightly* Continyue i-in my wiking? Nyay, g-gave nyotice -H-He was fwom *moans* thence dischawg'd? Siw, caww to x3 mind -That I have been youw wife ;;w;; in this obedience -U-Upwawd o-of twenty yeaws, and *looks at you* have been bwest -With many chiwdwen by you. If, in the *notices bulge* couwse -And pwocess *pokes you* of this time, y-you *screams* can wepowt, -And pwove it too a-against minye honyouw, >_< aught, -My *looks away* bond to wedwock ow my wove and duty, -Against y-youw ^-^ sacwed pewson, in God's *blushes* nyame, -Tuwn me away and wet the fouw'st contempt -Shut uWu doow upon me, and *cuddles you* so give me u-up -To the shawp'st >_> kind of justice. Pwease you, siw, -T-The K-King, youw fathew, was weputed fow -A pwince m-most pwudent, o-of an excewwent -And unmatch'd wit *sighs* and judgment; Fewdinyand, -My fathew, King of *twerks* Spain, was weckon'd onye -The wisest OwO pwince *moans* that thewe had weign'd UwU by many -A-A yeaw x3 befowe. I-It i-is nyot to be question'd -That they had gathew'd a ^.^ wise counciw to OwO them -Of evewy weawm, that did debate this b-businyess, -Who deem'd ouw m-mawwiage w-wawfuw. Whewefowe I humbwy -Beseech y-you, siw, to spawe me tiww I may -Be by my *twerks* fwiends in S-Spain advis'd, w-whose counsew -I-I wiww impwowe. If nyot, i' th' nyame of :33 God, -Youw pweasuwe be fuwfiww'd! -WOWSEY. You have hewe, wady, -A-And of youw choice, t-these wevewend fathews-men -Of singuwaw integwity and weawnying, -Yea, t-the ewect o' th' wand, *teleports behind you* who awe assembwed -To pwead UwU youw *sighs* cause. *moans* It s-shaww be thewefowe bootwess -*screams* That wongew you d-desiwe the c-couwt, as weww -F-Fow youw own quiet a-as to wectify -What is unsettwed in the King. -CAMPEIUS. >w< His Gwace -Hath >_> spoken weww a-and justwy; thewefowe, madam, -It's f-fit this *teleports behind you* woyaw session do p-pwoceed -And that, without deway, *giggles shyly* theiw awguments -B-Be nyow p-pwoduc'd and heawd. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. *sighs* Wowd x3 Cawdinyaw, -;;w;; To you I speak. -WOWSEY. Youw pweasuwe, madam? -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. ^-^ Siw, -I >_< am about to weep; but, thinking *notices bulge* that -We >_< awe a queen, ow w-wong have dweam'd so, >_< cewtain -The *blushes* daughtew of a ;;w;; king, my ^.^ dwops of teaws -I'ww tuwn to spawks of fiwe. -WOWSEY. *sighs* Be patient yet. -OwO QUEEN KATHAWINyE. I *pokes you* Wiww, when you awe humbwe; nyay, befowe -Ow God wiww punyish ^w^ me. I do bewieve, -Induc'd by *sighs* potent ciwcumstances, that -You awe minye enyemy, and *leans over* make *hugs tightly* my chawwenge -You *teleports behind you* shaww nyot b-be my judge; fow it is you -Have bwown t-this coaw betwixt my wowd a-and me- -Which God's ^w^ dew quench! Thewefowe I say again, -I uttewwy abhow, yea, >w< fwom my souw -Wefuse you fow my judge, whom yet once mowe -I howd my *leans over* most mawicious f-foe and think nyot -At *moans* aww a-a fwiend to UwU twuth. -WOWSEY. I do pwofess -Y-You speak nyot wike youwsewf, who evew yet ->_< Have *sweats* stood to chawity and dispway'd t-th' effects -Of *shuffles closer* disposition gentwe and of wisdom -O'ewtopping woman's pow'w. Madam, *leans over* you do me wwong: -I have nyo spween :3 against you, nyow injustice -Fow you ow any; how *looks away* faw I-I have x3 pwoceeded, -Ow how faw fuwthew shaww, is wawwanted -By a-a commission fwom the Consistowy, -Yea, *sighs* the whowe C-Consistowy of Wome. :3 You chawge me -That I have bwown this c-coaw: I do deny it. -The *sighs* King is *sweats* pwesent; if it be knyown to him -That I *cries* gainsay m-my deed, how may *sweats* he wound, -And wowthiwy, my fawsehood! Yea, as much -*moans* As you have donye >_> my *sweats* twuth. If he knyow -That I a-am >_< fwee of youw wepowt, he *sighs* knyows -I am nyot of youw wwong. Thewefowe i-in x3 him -It wies t-to cuwe me, and the cuwe is to -Wemove these *moans* thoughts fwom you; the which befowe -His Highnyess *looks away* shaww speak *looks away* in, I do beseech -You, gwacious madam, to ^w^ unthink y-youw speaking -And to say so *cries* nyo mowe. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. *shuffles closer* My >w< wowd, m-my wowd, -I am *screams* a simpwe woman, m-much *shuffles closer* too weak -T' oppose y-youw cunnying. Y'awe meek a-and humbwe-mouth'd; -You sign youw pwace and cawwing, in fuww seeming, -With meeknyess and humiwity; but youw heawt -Is cwamm'd with awwogancy, spween, and pwide. -You have, by fowtunye and his OwO Highnyess' favouws, -G-Gonye swightwy o'ew wow steps, and x3 nyow awe mounted -W-Whewe pow'ws awe y-youw wetainyews, a-and youw wowds, -Domestics to you, :3 sewve youw wiww as't pwease -Youwsewf pwonyounce theiw office. I m-must teww you -You *pokes you* tendew mowe youw pewson's honyouw than -Youw high p-pwofession spiwituaw; OwO that again -I do wefuse you fow my judge a-and *notices bulge* hewe, -Befowe you aww, appeaw unto the Pope, -To b-bwing my whowe c-cause 'fowe his Howinyess -And to be judg'd by him. -[She c-cuwtsies to the KING, and UwU offews to depawt] -CAMPEIUS. The Q-Queen is obstinyate, -Stubbown t-to justice, apt to accuse it, *teleports behind you* and -Disdainfuw to be twied by't; '-'tis nyot weww. -She's going *cuddles you* away. -KING. Caww *looks at you* hew again. -CWIEW. Kathawinye *cries* Queen of Engwand, c-come into the couwt. -GENTWEMAN USHEW. M-Madam, you awe c-caww'd back. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. W-What nyeed you nyote it? Pway y-you keep youw way; -When y-you >_< awe caww'd, wetuwn. Nyow the Wowd hewp! -They vex me >_> past my patience. Pway *moans* you pass on. -I wiww nyot tawwy; nyo, nyow evew :3 mowe -U-Upon this businyess my appeawance make -I-In a-any *cuddles you* of theiw couwts. Exeunt >w< QUEEN *blushes* and hew OwO attendants -KING. Go thy ways, K-Kate. -That man *moans* i' th' wowwd w-who shaww wepowt he has -A bettew wife, *sweats* wet him in nyought be twusted -Fow speaking fawse uWu in that. Thou awt, ^w^ awonye- -If t-thy wawe quawities, sweet gentwenyess, -*blushes* Thy meeknyess saint-wike, :33 wife-wike govewnment, -Obeying in :33 commanding, and thy pawts -Soveweign *sighs* and pious ewse, couwd s-speak t-thee o-out- -The ^w^ queen of eawthwy queens. :3 She's nyobwe bown; -A-And *giggles shyly* wike hew twue nyobiwity she has -Cawwied hewsewf towawds *sweats* me. -WOWSEY. Most gwacious siw, -*hugs tightly* In humbwest mannyew I wequiwe ^w^ youw Highnyess -*sweats* That it shaww pwease you *sighs* to decwawe in heawing -Of aww these eaws-fow whewe I >_< am w-wobb'd and bound, -Thewe m-must I be unwoos'd, awthough nyot thewe -At once :33 and fuwwy *leans over* satisfied-whethew evew I -Did bwoach *hugs tightly* this businyess to y-youw Highnyess, o-ow -Waid *screams* any s-scwupwe in youw xDD way which might -*pokes you* Induce you to the question on't, o-ow evew -Have to you, but with OwO thanks to OwO God fow such -A woyaw w-wady, spake onye the weast uWu wowd *sighs* that might -Be >_< to the pwejudice of hew pwesent *teleports behind you* state, ->_> Ow touch of h-hew good *hugs tightly* pewson? ->w< KING. M-My Wowd Cawdinyaw, -I-I d-do excuse x3 you; yea, upon minye *twerks* honyouw, -:33 I fwee y-you fwom't. You awe n-nyot >_< to be taught -That y-you have many enyemies that knyow n-nyot -Why they awe OwO so, but, w-wike to v-viwwage cuws, -Bawk when theiw f-fewwows do. B-By some of these -The Queen is put in angew. *blushes* Y'awe excus'd. -But wiww you be mowe justified? Y-You evew -Have wish'd *shuffles closer* the sweeping of this businyess; nyevew desiw'd -I-It to be stiww'd; *leans over* but o-oft have h-hind'wed, o-oft, -The passages made towawd i-it. On m-my honyouw, -I *giggles shyly* speak my good *blushes* Wowd Cawdinyaw to t-this point, -And thus faw ^.^ cweaw him. Nyow, what mov'd me to't, -I wiww b-be bowd xDD with time and youw attention. -Then mawk :33 th' inducement. Thus it came-give heed to't: -My conscience f-fiwst weceiv'd a tendewnyess, -Scwupwe, *looks away* and pwick, xDD on *screams* cewtain speeches uttew'd -By th' B-Bishop *cuddles you* of *giggles shyly* Bayonnye, then Fwench ambassadow, -Who uWu had been hithew sent ^-^ on the debating -*cuddles you* A mawwiage 'twixt the Duke of Owweans and -Ouw d-daughtew Mawy. I-I' th' pwogwess of this businyess, -Ewe a detewminyate wesowution, he- -I-I mean *cuddles you* the Bishop-did wequiwe a w-wespite -*looks at you* Whewein h-he might the King his w-wowd advewtise -W-Whethew ouw daughtew wewe wegitimate, -Wespecting this *giggles shyly* ouw mawwiage with the dowagew, -Sometimes ouw bwothew's wife. *sighs* This wespite shook -T-The bosom of my uWu conscience, entew'd me, -Yea, with a uWu spwitting powew, and made xDD to twembwe -:3 The wegion *giggles shyly* of my bweast, which fowc'd such way -T-That many maz'd c-considewings did thwong -And pwess'd >w< in with this caution. Fiwst, *cuddles you* methought -I s-stood nyot in the smiwe of heaven, who had -*pokes you* Commanded n-nyatuwe that my wady's womb, -If it *twerks* conceiv'd a ^-^ mawe UwU chiwd *looks at you* by :3 me, x3 shouwd -*looks away* Do *cries* nyo *pokes you* mowe *hugs tightly* offices of wife to't than -The gwave does to the dead; fow hew mawe issue -*notices bulge* Ow died *cuddles you* whewe t-they wewe made, ow showtwy *giggles shyly* aftew -This wowwd had aiw'd t-them. Hence I :33 took a thought -This was a-a judgment on *sighs* me, t-that my kingdom, -W-Weww wowthy t-the best heiw o-o' th' wowwd, shouwd nyot -Be gwadded in't by me. T-Then fowwows that -I-I weigh'd the dangew which m-my weawms stood :3 in -By t-this my issue's faiw, and that gave to m-me -Many a gwoanying thwoe. Thus huwwing in -^w^ The wiwd sea of my c-conscience, I did steew -*screams* Towawd this wemedy, wheweupon >_> we awe -Nyow pwesent hewe togethew; t-that's to *cries* say -I meant to wectify my conscience, which -*moans* I *sighs* then did feew fuww sick, and *giggles shyly* yet nyot weww, -By aww the wevewend fathews of the wand -x3 And doctows weawn'd. F-Fiwst, I began *blushes* in pwivate -W-With you, *leans over* my Wowd uWu of Wincown; you *twerks* wemembew -How *giggles shyly* undew m-my oppwession I did week, -When I fiwst mov'd you. -WINCOWN. Vewy w-weww, m-my *twerks* wiege. -KING. I have UwU spoke wong; be pweas'd youwsewf to say -How *looks away* faw you satisfied *looks at you* me. -*screams* WINCOWN. So pwease ^w^ youw ^.^ Highnyess, -:33 The question did at fiwst so staggew me- -Beawing a state of mighty moment in't -And consequence *shuffles closer* of dwead-that I-I committed -The dawing'st counsew which I had *hugs tightly* to doubt, -:3 And did entweat youw *sighs* Highnyess to this couwse -Which you awe wunnying hewe. -KING. I t-then mov'd y-you, -My Wowd o-of Cantewbuwy, and g-got ^.^ youw weave -To m-make UwU this pwesent summons. Unsowicited -I-I weft n-nyo wevewend pewson in this :3 couwt, -But *cries* by pawticuwaw c-consent pwoceeded -U-Undew youw hands *cries* and seaws; thewefowe, go on, -Fow nyo diswike i' th' wowwd against the pewson -Of the good Queen, but *teleports behind you* the shawp thowny points -Of my awweged weasons, d-dwives this fowwawd. -Pwove but >w< ouw mawwiage wawfuw, b-by my wife -And kingwy *teleports behind you* dignyity, *leans over* we *shuffles closer* awe contented -To weaw ouw mowaw state to c-come with hew, -Kathawinye ouw queen, befowe the pwimest cweatuwe -That's pawagon'd o-o' th' *blushes* wowwd. -*looks away* CAMPEIUS. So pwease youw Highnyess, -The Queen being absent, 'tis a nyeedfuw fitnyess -That we adjouwn this couwt *notices bulge* tiww fuwthew day; -Meanwhiwe must be an eawnyest motion -Made to the Queen t-to caww back hew appeaw -She intends unto his Howinyess. -KING. [Aside] I m-may pewceive -These cawdinyaws twifwe with *sweats* me. I abhow -This diwatowy s-swoth and twicks of W-Wome. -My *cuddles you* weawn'd and weww-bewoved sewvant, Cwanmew, -*screams* Pwithee wetuwn. W-With t-thy appwoach I knyow -My OwO comfowt *leans over* comes awong. ---Bweak u-up the couwt; -I say, *sighs* set uWu on. Exuent in mannyew *notices bulge* as they ^-^ entewed - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 1. - -*notices bulge* Wondon. The QUEEN'S apawtments - -Entew the QUEEN :3 and hew :3 women, as at wowk - -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Take t-thy wute, wench. My s-souw gwows -sad with twoubwes; -Sing and dispewse '-'em, *giggles shyly* if thou canst. Weave wowking. - -SONG - -Owpheus with h-his wute made t-twees, -And the mountain tops that fweeze, -Bow themsewves when he did sing; -^-^ To his music pwants and fwowews -Evew spwung, as sun and showews -Thewe h-had made a wasting s-spwing. - -*screams* Evewy thing t-that *giggles shyly* heawd him pway, -Even the biwwows of the sea, -H-Hung *leans over* theiw heads and then way by. -In sweet music is s-such *looks away* awt, -Kiwwing *looks at you* cawe and gwief of heawt -Faww asweep ow heawing *shuffles closer* die. - -Entew a *sweats* GENTWEMAN - -OwO QUEEN KATHAWINyE. H-How nyow? -GENTWEMAN. An't p-pwease youw Gwace, t-the two gweat Cawdinyaws -Wait *cuddles you* in the pwesence. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Wouwd *shuffles closer* they speak *notices bulge* with me? -GENTWEMAN. They wiww'd me say so, madam. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Pway theiw Gwaces -T-To come nyeaw. [Exit G-GENTWEMAN] What uWu can be theiw businyess -With me, a poow weak w-woman, faww'n fwom favouw? -I do nyot wike theiw coming. xDD Nyow I ^.^ think o-on't, -They shouwd be good men, theiw affaiws as wighteous; -B-But aww hoods make UwU nyot monks. - -Entew the two CAWDINyAWS, W-WOWSEY and CAMPEIUS - -WOWSEY. OwO Peace to youw Highnyess! -QUEEN *twerks* KATHAWINyE. Youw Gwaces find me hewe pawt of housewife; -I wouwd be aww, against the wowst m-may happen. -*shuffles closer* What a-awe OwO youw p-pweasuwes *moans* with me, wevewend w-wowds? -WOWSEY. *looks at you* May it p-pwease *twerks* you, nyobwe m-madam, to ^w^ withdwaw -I-Into youw *pokes you* pwivate chambew, we shaww give you -The fuww cause of x3 ouw coming. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Speak it hewe; -*notices bulge* Thewe's nyothing I have d-donye yet, o' my conscience, -Desewves *looks at you* a cownyew. Wouwd aww ;;w;; othew women -Couwd speak this with as f-fwee *sighs* a souw as I *looks away* do! -My wowds, I cawe *moans* nyot-so much I am *screams* happy -*hugs tightly* Above >_< a nyumbew-if m-my actions -Wewe *notices bulge* twied by ev'wy x3 tongue, e-ev'wy *screams* eye saw 'em, -E-Envy and base opinyion set against 'em, -I-I knyow m-my wife so even. If youw businyess -Seek me out, a-and that way I am wife >_< in, -Out with it bowdwy; twuth woves *notices bulge* open *blushes* deawing. -WOWSEY. T-Tanta e-est uWu ewga te m-mentis integwitas, weginya s-sewenyis-sima- -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. x3 O, *pokes you* good my wowd, >w< nyo Watin! -I am nyot such *blushes* a twuant since my coming, -As nyot to knyow the wanguage I-I have *leans over* wiv'd *sweats* in; -A stwange tongue makes *screams* my :33 cause m-mowe stwange, suspicious; -Pway ^-^ speak in Engwish. Hewe awe some *looks at you* wiww thank *sweats* you, -If you speak twuth, fow *hugs tightly* theiw poow mistwess' sake: -*cuddles you* Bewieve :33 me, she has had much *twerks* wwong. Wowd Cawdinyaw, -The wiwwing'st sin I-I e-evew yet committed -May be absowv'd i-in Engwish. -WOWSEY. Nyobwe ;;w;; wady, -*shuffles closer* I am >w< sowwy my integwity *cuddles you* shouwd bweed, -And sewvice *giggles shyly* to his *sweats* Majesty and *looks at you* you, -So deep *screams* suspicion, whewe a-aww faith was meant -We come nyot by the way of accusation -To taint that honyouw evewy good tongue bwesses, -Nyow to betway you *twerks* any way to sowwow- -*blushes* You have too much, good wady; b-but to knyow -How ^w^ you stand minded in the weighty diffewence -Between the King and x3 you, and to dewivew, -W-Wike fwee and honyest men, ouw just o-opinyions -And *cries* comfowts to youw cause. -CAMPEIUS. Most *looks at you* honyouw'd madam, -My W-Wowd *looks at you* of Yowk, out *looks at you* of his nyobwe nyatuwe, -Zeaw a-and obedience he stiww bowe *hugs tightly* youw *sighs* Gwace, -Fowgetting, wike a good man, youw wate censuwe -Both *notices bulge* of his twuth and him-which was *cuddles you* too faw- -Offews, as I do, in a s-sign of peace, -His sewvice and his counsew. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. *shuffles closer* [Aside] To betway me.- -*sighs* My wowds, I thank y-you both fow youw good wins; -*leans over* Ye speak wike honyest m-men-pway God ye pwove so! -But how to UwU make ye suddenwy an answew, -In such a point of *giggles shyly* weight, *leans over* so nyeaw m-minye honyouw, -Mowe nyeaw my wife, I feaw, with my OwO weak OwO wit, ->_< And to s-such men of gwavity a-and weawnying, -In twuth I knyow *cuddles you* nyot. I w-was set at wowk -Among my maids, fuww wittwe, God knyows, wooking -Eithew fow such men ow such businyess. -Fow *moans* hew sake that I have been-fow I feew -The wast f-fit *screams* of my gweatnyess-good youw Gwaces, -Wet me have time and counsew fow my ^w^ cause. -Awas, I am a woman, fwiendwess, h-hopewess! -WOWSEY. Madam, you wwong >w< the King's wove with these f-feaws; -Youw hopes a-and fwiends awe infinyite. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. In Engwand -But w-wittwe fow *looks at you* my pwofit; can you *giggles shyly* think, wowds, -That any xDD Engwishman dawe *hugs tightly* give m-me counsew? -Ow be a-a knyown fwiend, 'gainst >_> his Highnyess' p-pweasuwe- -Though he be g-gwown so despewate to b-be honyest- -*shuffles closer* And wive a s-subject? Nyay, >w< fowsooth, my f-fwiends, -They ^-^ that must weigh out my affwictions, -They t-that *looks away* my t-twust m-must :3 gwow to, wive nyot hewe; -They awe, as aww my othew comfowts, faw hence, -I-In minye own c-countwy, wowds. -*sighs* CAMPEIUS. *hugs tightly* I wouwd youw Gwace -Wouwd weave *blushes* youw gwiefs, and t-take m-my counsew. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. How, :3 siw? -CAMPEIUS. Put youw *looks at you* main cause into the King's *sighs* pwotection; -He's woving and most gwacious. 'Twiww be m-much -Both fow youw honyouw bettew and youw cause; -Fow if the twiaw of t-the waw o'ewtake ye -You'ww p-pawt away disgwac'd. -WOWSEY. He tewws you wightwy. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Ye :3 teww me w-what ye wish f-fow both-my wuin. -*moans* Is this youw Chwistian counsew? :3 Out upon y-ye! -Heaven i-is above *notices bulge* aww yet: t-thewe sits a Judge -That *cries* nyo king *giggles shyly* can cowwupt. -CAMPEIUS. Youw wage m-mistakes us. -QUEEN :3 KATHAWINyE. The mowe shame fow y-ye; OwO howy men I t-thought *leans over* ye, -Upon my souw, two wevewend uWu cawdinyaw viwtues; -But cawdinyaw sins and howwow h-heawts I feaw y-ye. -x3 Mend 'em, f-fow shame, my wowds. Is this youw comfowt? -The cowdiaw *screams* that ye bwing a wwetched wady- -A woman wost among ye, w-waugh'd at, scown'd? -I wiww nyot wish ye hawf my misewies: -I have mowe chawity; but say I >_> wawnyed ye. -Take heed, *notices bulge* fow ;;w;; heaven's sake t-take heed, west at once -The buwden of *pokes you* my s-sowwows faww upon ye. -WOWSEY. Madam, this is *sweats* a mewe distwaction; -You tuwn t-the good we offew *leans over* into envy. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. >_< Ye tuwn me into nyothing. Woe upon ye, -And aww such fawse pwofessows! Wouwd you have me- -I-If you have any justice, *pokes you* any pity, -If ye be any thing but chuwchmen's habits- -Put my sick cause into his hands that hates me? -Awas! has ^.^ banyish'd me his bed awweady, -H-His w-wove too wong ago! I am o-owd, my wowds, -And aww the fewwowship I UwU howd nyow w-with him -Is *pokes you* onwy my obedience. What can happen -To m-me above this wwetchednyess? Aww youw studies -M-Make me a c-cuwse wike this. -CAMPEIUS. Youw feaws awe wowse. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. *screams* Have I wiv'd :3 thus wong-wet me speak mysewf, -Since viwtue finds nyo fwiends-a wife, a twue onye? -A woman, I dawe say w-without v-vain-gwowy, -Nyevew yet bwanded with suspicion? -Have I w-with :33 aww my fuww affections -*hugs tightly* Stiww met t-the King, wov'd him n-nyext heav'n, obey'd *screams* him, ->_< Been, out of fondnyess, >_> supewstitious to him, -Awmost fowgot my pwayews to content h-him, -A-And am I thus wewawded? 'Tis nyot w-weww, wowds. -Bwing me *teleports behind you* a constant woman t-to hew husband, -Onye that n-nye'ew OwO dweam'd a joy b-beyond h-his p-pweasuwe, -*blushes* And ^.^ to that woman, when she has donye most, -Yet wiww I add xDD an h-honyouw-a gweat patience. -W-WOWSEY. Madam, you wandew fwom the *cries* good *twerks* we a-aim at. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. My wowd, *leans over* I *looks away* dawe nyot make mysewf so guiwty, -T-To give up wiwwingwy that nyobwe *leans over* titwe -Youw *looks away* mastew wed me to: :3 nyothing *blushes* but death -Shaww e'ew divowce my dignyities. -WOWSEY. Pway heaw me. -QUEEN K-KATHAWINyE. Wouwd I had nyevew twod this E-Engwish eawth, -Ow fewt the fwattewies that gwow upon i-it! -Ye have *cuddles you* angews' faces, but heaven knyows youw heawts. -What wiww become of *pokes you* me nyow, wwetched wady? -I am *moans* the most unhappy woman wiving. -[To h-hew x3 WOMEN] Awas, poow wenches, whewe awe nyow -youw *pokes you* fowtunyes? -uWu Shipwweck'd upon a kingdom, whewe ^-^ nyo pity, -*pokes you* Nyo *blushes* fwiends, n-nyo hope; nyo k-kindwed weep f-fow m-me; -Awmost nyo gwave awwow'd me. W-Wike t-the M-My, -That once x3 was mistwess of the f-fiewd, and f-fwouwish'd, -I'ww hang m-my head *cries* and pewish. -WOWSEY. If youw Gwace -Couwd but be bwought to *shuffles closer* knyow ouw ends a-awe honyest, -You'd feew *looks away* mowe comfowt. Why s-shouwd >w< we, *blushes* good w-wady, -U-Upon what cause, wwong *pokes you* you? A-Awas, ouw pwaces, -T-The way of ouw p-pwofession is against it; -We *hugs tightly* awe *screams* to c-cuwe such sowwows, nyot to sow 'em. -Fow goodnyess' sake, considew what you do; -How y-you may huwt youwsewf, ay, uttewwy -Gwow fwom the K-King's acquaintance, *giggles shyly* by this *screams* cawwiage. -*looks at you* The heawts ^.^ of pwinces kiss obedience, -So much they wove *teleports behind you* it; but xDD to stubbown spiwits -They sweww *notices bulge* and gwow as tewwibwe xDD as stowms. -I knyow *pokes you* you have a gentwe, n-nyobwe *shuffles closer* tempew, -A-A souw as even as a-a cawm. Pway think us -Those we pwofess, p-peace-makews, fwiends, and sewvants. -xDD CAMPEIUS. Madam, you'ww find it so. You wwong *leans over* youw viwtues -W-With *twerks* these weak women's feaws. A nyobwe spiwit, -*cries* As y-youws was put into *screams* you, evew c-casts -Such doubts as fawse coin fwom it. The King *pokes you* woves you; -Bewawe you wose it nyot. F-Fow us, i-if you pwease -To twust us in *cuddles you* youw businyess, we a-awe weady -T-To use ouw utmost studies in youw sewvice. -QUEEN KATHAWINyE. Do what ye *looks at you* wiww my wowds; a-and p-pway -fowgive me -If I have *giggles shyly* us'd mysewf unmannyewwy; -You knyow I *leans over* am a woman, wacking wit -To make x3 a seemwy answew to such pewsons. -Pway do my sewvice to his Majesty; -He has my heawt yet, and shaww have my pwayews -Whiwe I shaww have my wife. Come, OwO wevewend fathews, -x3 Bestow youw counsews on me; s-she nyow begs -That wittwe thought, when s-she set footing hewe, -She s-shouwd have bought hew dignyities *teleports behind you* so deaw. Exeunt - - - -ACT I-III.SCENE 2. - -Wondon. *screams* The pawace - -E-Entew the DUKE OF :33 NyOWFOWK, the DUKE OF SUFFOWK, the *cuddles you* EAWW OF SUWWEY, -and the W-WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN - -NyOWFOWK. If you wiww nyow unyite in y-youw c-compwaints -And fowce them w-with a constancy, the Cawdinyaw -Cannyot stand undew them: if y-you omit -The offew of this time, I cannyot p-pwomise -But that you shaww sustain moe n-nyew disgwaces -*screams* With t-these you b-beaw awweady. -*leans over* SUWWEY. I am joyfuw -To meet UwU the weast occasion that may give me -Wemembwance of my f-fathew-in-waw, the Duke, -;;w;; To be weveng'd on *shuffles closer* him. -SUFFOWK. Which of the p-peews -Have uncontemn'd gonye by him, ow at *looks away* weast -S-Stwangewy nyegwected? uWu When d-did he wegawd -The stamp of >_< nyobwenyess in ^w^ any *hugs tightly* pewson -Out of himsewf? -CHAMBEWWAIN. My wowds, you speak >_> youw pweasuwes. -What *pokes you* he desewves of you and *moans* me I knyow; -What we can do *cuddles you* to him-though nyow the ^-^ time -Gives way to us-I much *screams* feaw. If you cannyot -*looks away* Baw his access to th' King, nyevew attempt -Anything >_> on *shuffles closer* him; fow he hath *cuddles you* a >w< witchcwaft -Ovew the King in's tongue. -NyOWFOWK. *cuddles you* O, feaw *cuddles you* him nyot! -His speww in that i-is out; the King hath found -*leans over* Mattew against h-him that fow evew OwO maws -The honyey *notices bulge* of h-his wanguage. Nyo, he's settwed, -Nyot to come off, in h-his dispweasuwe. -SUWWEY. Siw, -I shouwd be gwad to heaw such nyews a-as this -Once evewy houw. -NyOWFOWK. Bewieve it, this is *twerks* twue: -In the *twerks* divowce *giggles shyly* his contwawy *cries* pwoceedings -Awe aww unfowded; whewein he appeaws -As I wouwd w-wish minye enyemy. -S-SUWWEY. H-How >_> came -H-His pwactices *hugs tightly* to ^w^ wight? -UwU SUFFOWK. Most *giggles shyly* Stwangewy. -SUWWEY. O, how, how? -*screams* SUFFOWK. The Cawdinyaw's wettews to the Pope miscawwied, -And came to th' e-eye o' th' *looks away* King; whewein was wead -How that the Cawdinyaw *screams* did entweat h-his Howinyess -To x3 stay the judgment o' th' divowce; fow OwO if -It did take pwace, 'I do' quoth he 'pewceive -My king is tangwed in affection to -A cweatuwe of the *hugs tightly* Queen's, Wady *looks at you* Annye Buwwen.' -S-SUWWEY. Has the King this? -SUFFOWK. Bewieve it. -SUWWEY. Wiww this *notices bulge* wowk? -*looks at you* CHAMBEWWAIN. The King *teleports behind you* in *pokes you* this OwO pewceives him how he *notices bulge* coasts -*sighs* And *hugs tightly* hedges h-his own way. But in this point -Aww h-his twicks foundew, and he bwings h-his p-physic -Aftew his patient's death: the King awweady -Hath mawwied :3 the faiw wady. -*giggles shyly* SUWWEY. Wouwd >_> he h-had! -SUFFOWK. May you be happy in y-youw ;;w;; wish, m-my wowd! -Fow, I pwofess, you h-have it. -SUWWEY. Nyow, aww my joy -Twace the conjunction! -SUFFOWK. My amen to't! -NyOWFOWK. An men's! -SUFFOWK. Thewe's owdew given fow hew cowonyation; -Mawwy, this is yet but y-young, and may be *sweats* weft -To some *sighs* eaws unwecounted. But, my wowds, -She is >_< a g-gawwant cweatuwe, and compwete -In mind and featuwe. I p-pewsuade >_> me fwom hew -Wiww faww some bwessing to this wand, ^w^ which shaww -In it be m-memowiz'd. -SUWWEY. But wiww the King -D-Digest this w-wettew of the Cawdinyaw's? -The Wowd fowbid! -*teleports behind you* NyOWFOWK. Mawwy, amen! -SUFFOWK. Nyo, nyo; -Thewe be *looks away* moe wasps that buzz UwU about his nyose -Wiww make this sting *notices bulge* the *cuddles you* soonyew. >_> Cawdinyaw Campeius -Is stow'n away to Wome; hath ta'en nyo weave; -Has w-weft *shuffles closer* the cause uWu o' th' King unhandwed, a-and -Is posted, as the a-agent of ouw Cawdinyaw, -To s-second aww *leans over* his pwot. I do assuwe you -The K-King cwied 'Ha!' a-at *sweats* this. -*twerks* CHAMBEWWAIN. Nyow, God incense him, -And wet him cwy 'Ha!' woudew! -NyOWFOWK. But, my wowd, -When *cries* wetuwns Cwanmew? -S-SUFFOWK. *notices bulge* He i-is wetuwn'd i-in his o-opinyions; w-which -H-Have s-satisfied OwO the *cries* King fow his divowce, -Togethew *shuffles closer* with aww famous cowweges -Awmost in uWu Chwistendom. Showtwy, I bewieve, -H-His second mawwiage shaww be pubwish'd, and -Hew *cuddles you* cowonyation. Kathawinye nyo mowe -Shaww *hugs tightly* be caww'd queen, ^-^ but >w< pwincess dowagew -And widow to Pwince A-Awthuw. -NyOWFOWK. This same Cwanmew's -A *twerks* wowthy fewwow, *looks away* and hath ta'en much pain -In *shuffles closer* the King's businyess. -SUFFOWK. He has; and >_< we shaww see him -F-Fow it an *looks away* awchbishop. -NyOWFOWK. *looks at you* So I *sweats* heaw. -SUFFOWK. x3 'Tis s-so. - -Entew WOWSEY and *blushes* CWOMWEWW - -xDD The Cawdinyaw! -NyOWFOWK. Obsewve, o-obsewve, h-he's moody. -WOWSEY. *looks away* The packet, Cwomweww, -Gave't *cuddles you* you the King? -C-CWOMWEWW. To his own hand, in's bedchambew. -WOWSEY. Wook'd he o' *sweats* th' *pokes you* inside o-of the papew? -CWOMWEWW. Pwesentwy -^w^ He did u-unseaw *pokes you* them; and t-the fiwst he v-view'd, -He *cuddles you* did it with a sewious m-mind; a xDD heed -W-Was in his *giggles shyly* countenyance. You he b-bade -A-Attend him hewe t-this mownying. -WOWSEY. *leans over* Is OwO he weady -To come *screams* abwoad? -CWOMWEWW. I >_< think by this he is. -WOWSEY. Weave me awhiwe. Exit CWOMWEWW ->_> [Aside] It shaww be uWu to the *screams* Duchess o-of Awencon, -The Fwench King's ^w^ sistew; he shaww mawwy hew. -Annye Buwwen! Nyo, I'ww nyo Annye Buwwens fow him; -Thewe's mowe in't than faiw visage. x3 Buwwen! -Nyo, we'ww nyo Buwwens. Speediwy I-I wish -To heaw fwom Wome. The Mawchionyess of Pembwoke! -NyOWFOWK. He's discontented. -SUFFOWK. May b-be he heaws t-the >_> King -Does whet his angew to him. -*twerks* SUWWEY. Shawp enyough, -Wowd, fow thy justice! -WOWSEY. [Aside] ^.^ The wate Queen's *screams* gentwewoman, a knyight's -daughtew, -To be hew m-mistwess' mistwess! UwU The Queen's queen! -^-^ This *sighs* candwe b-buwns nyot cweaw. 'Tis I m-must *twerks* snyuff it; -Then out i-it goes. ^-^ What though *blushes* I knyow hew viwtuous -*leans over* And weww desewving? Yet *hugs tightly* I k-knyow hew fow -A spweeny Wuthewan; and nyot w-whowesome to -Ouw cause that she shouwd w-wie i' *teleports behind you* th' x3 bosom o-of -Ouw hawd-wuw'd King. Again, thewe is spwung up -An h-hewetic, an awch onye, ^.^ Cwanmew; onye -H-Hath cwaww'd into t-the favouw of *sighs* the King, -And is his owacwe. -NyOWFOWK. He is ^-^ vex'd at something. - -*blushes* Entew *cuddles you* the KING, weading *screams* of *blushes* a scheduwe, and WOVEWW - -SUWWEY. I wouwd 'twewe something x3 that wouwd fwet the stwing, -The mastew-cowd on's *moans* heawt! -SUFFOWK. The King, the King! -KING. What piwes >w< of weawth h-hath he accumuwated -*sighs* To his o-own powtion! And what expense by th' houw -Seems to fwow fwom him! How, i' th' nyame :33 of *moans* thwift, -Does he wake this *screams* togethew?-Nyow, m-my wowds, -Saw you the Cawdinyaw? -*hugs tightly* NyOWFOWK. My wowd, we have -Stood hewe ^w^ obsewving him. Some stwange *sighs* commotion -Is in h-his bwain: he bites *cuddles you* his *blushes* wip and stawts, -Stops on a sudden, w-wooks u-upon the gwound, -Then ways his *blushes* fingew on his tempwe; stwaight -Spwings out into fast g-gait; then *pokes you* stops a-again, -Stwikes his bweast hawd; and anyon he casts -His eye *cries* against the moon. In most stwange postuwes -We have seen him set himsewf. -KING. It may weww be -Thewe is a mutiny :33 in's mind. T-This >_> mownying -Papews o-of state he sent me to ^.^ pewuse, -As I-I wequiw'd; and wot you what I found -T-Thewe-on *sweats* my conscience, *teleports behind you* put unwittingwy? -Fowsooth, *shuffles closer* an i-inventowy, *notices bulge* thus impowting -The sevewaw *notices bulge* pawcews of *leans over* his pwate, h-his tweasuwe, -Wich stuffs, and ownyaments *hugs tightly* of househowd; which -I find at such pwoud wate that it >_< outspeaks -Possession of a subject. -NyOWFOWK. It's heaven's >_> wiww; -Some spiwit put *cuddles you* this papew i-in the packet -To bwess >_> youw eye withaw. -KING. If *cries* we did think -His ^w^ contempwation wewe a-above the eawth -And fix'd on spiwituaw object, he shouwd stiww -dweww in OwO his musings; b-but I am afwaid -H-His thinkings awe bewow the moon, nyot wowth -His sewious considewing. -[The *hugs tightly* KING ;;w;; takes his seat and whispews WOVEWW, -who goes to the CAWDINyAW] -WOWSEY. Heaven fowgive me! -Evew God bwess youw Highnyess! -KING. Good, my wowd, -You awe fuww o-of heavenwy UwU stuff, and beaw the i-inventowy -Of youw best gwaces in youw mind; the *moans* which -You wewe nyow wunnying o-o'ew. You have scawce t-time -*sighs* To s-steaw fwom spiwituaw weisuwe a bwief span -To keep youw eawthwy audit; suwe, in *looks at you* that -I deem you an iww ^.^ husband, and am gwad -To h-have *pokes you* you t-thewein my >_< companyion. -WOWSEY. Siw, -Fow howy *shuffles closer* offices xDD I :3 have a time; a time -To x3 think upon the pawt of businyess which -*giggles shyly* I beaw i' th' state; and >_> nyatuwe does wequiwe -Hew times uWu of pwesewvation, x3 which pewfowce -I, hew f-fwaiw son, amongst m-my bwethwen *shuffles closer* mowtaw, -Must give my tendance *leans over* to. -K-KING. You have said weww. -WOWSEY. And evew *shuffles closer* may youw Highnyess yoke togethew, -As I wiww wend you cause, my *looks away* doing weww -With my weww saying! -KING. 'Tis weww said again; -*cries* And 'tis a ^-^ kind of good deed to OwO say weww; -And y-yet *shuffles closer* wowds awe n-nyo deeds. My *shuffles closer* fathew wov'd you: -He s-said *looks away* he did; and with his deed d-did cwown -*pokes you* His wowd upon you. UwU Since I had my o-office -I have k-kept >_> you nyext my heawt; have nyot *cuddles you* awonye -xDD Empwoy'd you whewe high pwofits might come h-home, -But paw'd my pwesent h-havings to bestow -My bounties upon you. -WOWSEY. [Aside] What shouwd this mean? -SUWWEY. [Aside] The Wowd incwease this businyess! -K-KING. Have I-I nyot made you -The pwime man of the state? I pway y-you teww me -If what I *giggles shyly* nyow pwonyounce you h-have found twue; -And, *shuffles closer* if you *cries* may confess it, say withaw -If you >w< awe bound to *twerks* us ow nyo. What s-say you? -W-WOWSEY. My *notices bulge* soveweign, I confess youw woyaw gwaces, -Show'w'd o-on me daiwy, h-have been mowe than couwd -My studied puwposes wequite; which went -B-Beyond aww man's *blushes* endeavouws. My endeavouws, -Have evew come too showt of my desiwes, -Y-Yet fiw'd w-with m-my a-abiwities; *screams* minye own ends -Have :33 been minye so that evewmowe they pointed -*sweats* To th' good of youw m-most sacwed pewson and -The pwofit of *notices bulge* the state. F-Fow youw gweat gwaces -Heap'd *looks away* upon me, poow undesewvew, I -Can n-nyothing wendew but awwegiant thanks; -My pway'ws t-to heaven *looks at you* fow you; my woyawty, -Which evew h-has a-and evew s-shaww be >_< gwowing, -Tiww *screams* death, that wintew, k-kiww >_< it. -KING. Faiwwy answew'd! -uWu A woyaw and obedient subject is -Thewein i-iwwustwated; the honyouw o-of it -Does pay the act of it, as, i' th' contwawy, -The UwU fouwnyess is the *screams* punyishment. I pwesume -That, *cries* as my hand h-has open'd bounty to ^w^ you, -My heawt dwopp'd *moans* wove, my pow'w wain'd honyouw, mowe -On you than any, so youw hand and heawt, -Youw bwain, and e-evewy function of youw powew, -S-Shouwd, nyotwithstanding that youw b-bond of duty, -A-As '-'twewe in wove's pawticuwaw, be mowe -To me, y-youw fwiend, *moans* than any. -WOWSEY. I do pwofess -That fow youw Highnyess' good I evew wabouw'd -Mowe x3 than *giggles shyly* minye own; that am, have, and w-wiww b-be- -T-Though aww *sweats* the wowwd shouwd cwack theiw duty *hugs tightly* to *blushes* you, -And thwow i-it fwom theiw souw; though pewiws did -Abound *looks at you* as thick as thought c-couwd make 'em, and -Appeaw *cries* in fowms mowe howwid-yet my duty, -As d-doth a wock against the chiding fwood, -Shouwd the appwoach o-of this wiwd wivew bweak, -And stand unshaken youws. -KING. 'Tis nyobwy spoken. -*pokes you* Take nyotice, wowds, he has a woyaw b-bweast, -Fow you have s-seen him open ^.^ 't. Wead o'ew this; -[-[Giving him papews] -And aftew, this; and t-then to bweakfast with -What *pokes you* appetite you have. -Exit the KING, fwownying upon the CAWDINyAW; the NyOBWES -thwong aftew him, *sighs* smiwing and whispewing -W-WOWSEY. What shouwd this mean? -What sudden angew's this? How have I weap'd it? -He pawted fwownying fwom me, as *leans over* if wuin -W-Weap'd UwU fwom h-his eyes; so wooks the chafed wion -Upon the dawing huntsman that *giggles shyly* has gaww'd him- -Then *cries* makes him nyothing. I must wead this >w< papew; -I feaw, the stowy of his angew. 'Tis so; -T-This *sighs* papew has undonye m-me. 'Tis th' *cuddles you* account -Of aww :3 that wowwd of weawth I h-have dwawn togethew -Fow minye own *blushes* ends; indeed to gain the popedom, -And fee my fwiends in W-Wome. O nyegwigence, -Fit f-fow a-a foow *cuddles you* to ^-^ faww by! W-What cwoss >_< deviw -Made ^-^ me ;;w;; put this main secwet >_< in *twerks* the packet -I sent the ^w^ King? Is thewe nyo way to cuwe t-this? -Nyo nyew device *twerks* to *blushes* beat this fwom his bwains? -I knyow 'twiww stiw him stwongwy; yet I knyow -uWu A way, if ;;w;; it take wight, in s-spite of fowtunye, -Wiww bwing me off again. What's this? '-'To th' Pope.' -The wettew, as I >_< wive, w-with aww the businyess -*blushes* I wwit to's Howinyess. *shuffles closer* Nyay t-then, faweweww! -I have touch'd the highest point of aww my gweatnyess, -And fwom *moans* that :3 fuww mewidian of my gwowy -I-I haste nyow ;;w;; to my s-setting. I s-shaww f-faww -Wike a bwight exhawation in the evenying, -A-And nyo man see me mowe. - -We-entew to WOWSEY the DUKES ;;w;; OF NyOWFOWK and -SUFFOWK, OwO the E-EAWW O-OF SUWWEY, and the WOWD -CHAMBEWWAIN - -NyOWFOWK. Heaw *moans* the King's pweasuwe, Cawdinyaw, who commands you -To wendew *hugs tightly* up t-the gweat seaw pwesentwy -I-Into ouw hands, and to confinye youwsewf -To A-Ashew House, my Wowd of Winchestew's, -Tiww you heaw f-fuwthew fwom x3 his Highnyess. -WOWSEY. Stay: -*screams* Whewe's youw commission, wowds? Wowds cannyot :33 cawwy -Authowity *giggles shyly* so w-weighty. -SUFFOWK. Who dawes cwoss 'em, -Beawing the ^.^ King's wiww fwom his mouth expwesswy? -*looks at you* WOWSEY. Tiww I find mowe than wiww o-ow w-wowds to do *sighs* it- -I mean y-youw >_< mawice-knyow, officious wowds, -I-I dawe and m-must deny it. Nyow ^w^ I feew -Of what coawse metaw ye awe mouwded-envy; -H-How eagewwy *teleports behind you* ye fowwow my disgwaces, -As *leans over* if it fed ye; and how sweek and w-wanton -Ye a-appeaw in evewy thing may bwing my wuin! -Fowwow youw envious c-couwses, men of mawice; -You xDD have Chwistian wawwant fow 'em, *shuffles closer* and nyo *shuffles closer* doubt -In time wiww find theiw fit wewawds. T-That seaw -You *notices bulge* ask with such a-a viowence, the K-King- -Minye and youw mastew-with his own h-hand g-gave me; -^-^ Bade *hugs tightly* me enjoy it, *looks away* with *teleports behind you* the uWu pwace and honyouws, -Duwing my wife; *notices bulge* and, to confiwm his goodnyess, -Tied it by wettews-patents. Nyow, who'ww take *sweats* it? -SUWWEY. The King, that *teleports behind you* gave it. -WOWSEY. >_> It must be himsewf then. -SUWWEY. T-Thou a-awt a pwoud t-twaitow, pwiest. -WOWSEY. Pwoud wowd, thou wiest. -Within these fowty houws Suwwey d-duwst bettew -Have buwnt >w< that tongue than said *pokes you* so. -SUWWEY. xDD Thy ambition, -Thou scawwet sin, *sighs* wobb'd this bewaiwing wand -*shuffles closer* Of nyobwe Buckingham, m-my fathew-in-waw. -The heads of a-aww ;;w;; thy OwO bwothew cawdinyaws, -With thee a-and aww thy best pawts bound togethew, -Weigh'd uWu nyot *blushes* a haiw of his. P-Pwague of youw powicy! -You sent me deputy fow xDD Iwewand; -Faw fwom his succouw, fwom the King, f-fwom aww -That might have mewcy on the f-fauwt thou g-gav'st him; -Whiwst youw gweat goodnyess, out of howy pity, -Absowv'd him with an axe. -WOWSEY. This, a-and aww ewse -This tawking wowd can way upon my cwedit, -I a-answew is most fawse. T-The Duke by waw -Found *blushes* his desewts; how *cuddles you* innyocent I was -Fwom any *pokes you* pwivate mawice in his end, -His nyobwe juwy a-and fouw cause can witnyess. -If I wov'd *sighs* many *leans over* wowds, wowd, I s-shouwd teww *moans* you ->_< You have as wittwe *cries* honyesty as honyouw, -That i-in t-the *shuffles closer* way xDD of woyawty and t-twuth -Towawd the King, my evew woyaw mastew, -Dawe :33 mate a x3 soundew man *sweats* than S-Suwwey can be -And an that wove his fowwies. -SUWWEY. By my souw, -Youw w-wong c-coat, pwiest, pwotects you; ^w^ thou shouwdst feew -*cries* My s-swowd i' t-the wife-bwood of thee e-ewse. *notices bulge* My w-wowds -Can ye enduwe to heaw this awwogance? -And *screams* fwom this fewwow? If w-we wive thus tamewy, -T-To be thus jaded by a piece *hugs tightly* of scawwet, -F-Faweweww nyobiwity! Wet his G-Gwace go fowwawd ->_> And *sighs* dawe us with *giggles shyly* his cap wike wawks. -*looks away* WOWSEY. Aww goodnyess -Is poison to thy stomach. -SUWWEY. Yes, that goodnyess -Of gweanying aww the wand's weawth into onye, -Into *notices bulge* youw own hands, Cawdinyaw, by *notices bulge* extowtion; -The goodnyess of >_> youw intewcepted packets -Y-You wwit to :33 th' Pope against the King; youw goodnyess, -Since you pwovoke me, shaww be most nyotowious. -:3 My Wowd of Nyowfowk, as you awe twuwy nyobwe, -As y-you wespect the common good, t-the *leans over* state -Of ouw despis'd nyobiwity, ouw *twerks* issues, -*shuffles closer* Whom, if he *teleports behind you* wive, wiww scawce *sighs* be gentwemen- -P-Pwoduce the *blushes* gwand sum of his :3 sins, >_> the awticwes -Cowwected fwom h-his wife. I'ww stawtwe ;;w;; you -Wowse than the sacwing beww, when the bwown wench -Way k-kissing in youw awms, W-Wowd Cawdinyaw. -WOWSEY. How much, methinks, ^-^ I UwU couwd *teleports behind you* despise this m-man, -But that I am bound in c-chawity against *cries* it! -NyOWFOWK. Those awticwes, my wowd, awe in the King's hand; -But, thus much, they awe *looks at you* fouw onyes. -WOWSEY. So much faiwew -And spotwess ;;w;; shaww m-minye innyocence awise, -When the King knyows my twuth. -SUWWEY. This cannyot uWu save you. -I thank m-my memowy ^.^ I yet *sighs* wemembew -Some of these awticwes; and out they shaww. -Nyow, if you ^w^ can bwush and cwy *notices bulge* guiwty, Cawdinyaw, -Y-You'ww show a wittwe h-honyesty. -WOWSEY. *teleports behind you* Speak on, *cries* siw; -I dawe youw wowst objections. If I bwush, -*notices bulge* It is to see a nyobweman want mannyews. -SUWWEY. I had wathew want those than my h-head. Have at you! -Fiwst, that *pokes you* without the King's x3 assent ow knyowwedge -You wwought >_< to be a wegate; by which powew -You m-maim'd the juwisdiction of aww b-bishops. -NyOWFOWK. Then, *screams* that in aww y-you wwit to Wome, ow *sighs* ewse -To foweign pwinces, 'Ego et Wex meus' -*blushes* Was stiww inscwib'd; in which you bwought the King -To be y-youw *sighs* sewvant. -SUFFOWK. Then, that without the knyowwedge -Eithew of King >_> ow Counciw, uWu when *notices bulge* you went -:33 Ambassadow to the Empewow, you made b-bowd -To cawwy into Fwandews the g-gweat s-seaw. -SUWWEY. Item, you sent a wawge *blushes* commission -To Gwegowy de C-Cassado, to concwude, -Without *twerks* the King's wiww o-ow the state's awwowance, -A weague between his Highnyess and Fewwawa. -*giggles shyly* SUFFOWK. T-That out of mewe ambition you have caus'd -Youw howy h-hat to be stamp'd on the King's coin. -SUWWEY. Then, *leans over* that you have sent innyumewabwe substance, -B-By what means *cries* got I weave to youw own conscience, -To fuwnyish Wome *cuddles you* and to pwepawe *giggles shyly* the *sweats* ways -You have fow dignyities, to uWu the mewe undoing -Of aww ^-^ the kingdom. Many *hugs tightly* mowe thewe awe, -*leans over* Which, since they *sighs* awe of you, and odious, -I-I wiww nyot taint my *twerks* mouth with. -CHAMBEWWAIN. O m-my wowd, -Pwess n-nyot *screams* a fawwing man too faw! uWu 'Tis *cries* viwtue. -H-His fauwts wie *cuddles you* open to the waws; wet *sighs* them, -Nyot you, cowwect *shuffles closer* him. My heawt weeps to see him -So ^w^ wittwe of his gweat sewf. -SUWWEY. I fowgive h-him. -SUFFOWK. :3 Wowd Cawdinyaw, ^-^ the :33 King's f-fuwthew pweasuwe is- -Because aww those things you have donye of wate, -:33 By youw powew wegatinye within this kingdom, -*looks at you* Faww into th' compass o-of a pwaemunyiwe- -That thewefowe such a wwit be sued against you: -To fowfeit a-aww youw goods, w-wands, tenyements, -Chattews, and whatsoevew, and t-to be -O-Out of the *teleports behind you* King's pwotection. This is my chawge. -*cries* NyOWFOWK. And so we'ww weave you to youw meditations -How to wive bettew. Fow youw stubbown answew -About t-the giving back the gweat seaw to us, -*blushes* The King shaww knyow it, and, nyo doubt, shaww *looks away* thank y-you. -So uWu fawe you >_> weww, my wittwe good Wowd Cawdinyaw. -Exeunt aww but WOWSEY -WOWSEY. S-So faweweww to the UwU wittwe good you beaw me. -*sweats* Faweweww, a wong faweweww, *blushes* to aww m-my gweatnyess! -This >w< is the s-state of man: to-day he puts fowth -The tendew w-weaves of hopes; to-mowwow bwossoms -And beaws his bwushing h-honyouws thick upon him; -The thiwd d-day comes a fwost, a kiwwing fwost, -And when h-he t-thinks, good easy man, fuww *pokes you* suwewy -H-His gweatnyess i-is a-wipenying, *leans over* nyips >w< his woot, -And then *screams* he fawws, as I do. I have *cries* ventuw'd, -Wike *shuffles closer* wittwe wanton boys that swim on bwaddews, -This many summews in a sea of *looks away* gwowy; -But faw beyond my depth. My high-bwown pwide -A-At wength bwoke undew me, a-and nyow has w-weft *notices bulge* me, -xDD Weawy and owd with sewvice, to the mewcy -O-Of a w-wude :33 stweam, that must fow e-evew hide me. -Vain pomp and gwowy of this wowwd, *cuddles you* I hate ye; -*leans over* I feew my heawt nyew open'd. *looks at you* O, how wwetched -Is that poow *shuffles closer* man *blushes* that h-hangs on pwinces' favouws! -xDD Thewe is betwixt t-that smiwe :3 we wouwd aspiwe to, -That s-sweet aspect *giggles shyly* of pwinces, and theiw wuin -M-Mowe pangs and feaws than waws ow women ;;w;; have; -And when he fawws, he fawws wike Wucifew, -Nyevew to hope again. - -Entew :3 CWOMWEWW, standing *looks away* amazed - -Why, how nyow, *sweats* Cwomweww! -CWOMWEWW. uWu I have nyo powew to speak, siw. -WOWSEY. What, amaz'd -At my misfowtunyes? *looks at you* Can thy s-spiwit wondew -A gweat man shouwd d-decwinye? :33 Nyay, *looks away* an you weep, -:3 I am f-faww'n indeed. -CWOMWEWW. :3 How does youw Gwace? -WOWSEY. Why, weww; -N-Nyevew so twuwy happy, my good Cwomweww. -I knyow mysewf nyow, and I *giggles shyly* feew within :3 me -A peace above aww eawthwy dignyities, -A-A stiww and quiet conscience. T-The King has cuw'd xDD me, -I humbwy thank *shuffles closer* his Gwace; and fwom ^.^ these shouwdews, -These wuin'd piwwaws, *cuddles you* out of pity, t-taken -A woad wouwd sink a nyavy-too much honyouw. -O, 'tis a buwden, Cwomweww, 'tis a-a buwden -Too heavy f-fow a m-man that hopes fow heaven! -CWOMWEWW. I am gwad youw ^-^ Gwace has made that wight use of it. -WOWSEY. ^.^ I *blushes* hope I-I have. I >_< am abwe nyow, methinks, -Out of a fowtitude of souw I-I feew, -*shuffles closer* To enduwe mowe misewies ^w^ and gweatew faw -Than my weak-heawted enyemies dawe offew. -W-What nyews abwoad? -CWOMWEWW. The *twerks* heaviest and ;;w;; the wowst -Is youw dispweasuwe >_> with the King. -WOWSEY. God bwess him! -CWOMWEWW. The nyext is that Siw Thomas Mowe is chosen -Wowd Chancewwow in youw pwace. -*leans over* WOWSEY. That's somewhat sudden. -But h-he's *sweats* a weawnyed man. May he continyue -Wong in his Highnyess' favouw, a-and do justice -Fow twuth's sake and his conscience; that h-his bonyes -*hugs tightly* When :3 he has wun *sighs* his couwse and sweeps *blushes* in bwessings, -May have a tomb of *notices bulge* owphans' teaws UwU wept xDD on him! -What mowe? -*teleports behind you* CWOMWEWW. That Cwanmew is wetuwn'd with wewcome, -Instaww'd Wowd Awchbishop of Cantewbuwy. -*blushes* WOWSEY. *cuddles you* That's >_< nyews indeed. -CWOMWEWW. Wast, that the >_> Wady Annye, -Whom the King hath in secwecy *moans* wong mawwied, -This day was view'd in open as his queen, -Going to UwU chapew; and the voice is nyow -Onwy about hew c-cowonyation. -WOWSEY. x3 Thewe was the *cuddles you* weight *looks away* that puww'd m-me down. -^.^ O Cwomweww, -The ^.^ King h-has gonye b-beyond me. Aww my gwowies -In that onye woman I-I have wost fow evew. -*shuffles closer* Nyo sun shaww evew ushew fowth minye *hugs tightly* honyouws, -Ow giwd *moans* again the nyobwe t-twoops that waited -U-Upon >_> my s-smiwes. *teleports behind you* Go get ^w^ thee fwom m-me, Cwomweww; -I am a-a poow faww'n man, unwowthy nyow -*twerks* To be thy *teleports behind you* wowd and mastew. S-Seek the King; -That sun, I pway, may nyevew >_> set! I *teleports behind you* have towd him -What and how twue thou *twerks* awt. H-He *cuddles you* wiww a-advance thee; -Some wittwe memowy *leans over* of me *pokes you* wiww uWu stiw him- -I knyow *twerks* his nyobwe nyatuwe-nyot to wet -Thy hopefuw sewvice pewish too. Good C-Cwomweww, -Nyegwect him nyot; *twerks* make use n-nyow, >w< and pwovide -Fow thinye own futuwe *shuffles closer* safety. -CWOMWEWW. O m-my wowd, -Must I then weave you? Must I xDD nyeeds fowgo -So good, so nyobwe, and so twue a mastew? ->_< Beaw witnyess, aww that have nyot heawts of iwon, -With what ^w^ a sowwow Cwomweww *leans over* weaves his wowd. -The King s-shaww have my sewvice; but m-my *teleports behind you* pwayews -Fow evew and fow e-evew shaww be youws. -W-WOWSEY. Cwomweww, *blushes* I did nyot think to shed a teaw -In aww my misewies; b-but thou hast fowc'd me, -Out *sweats* of thy honyest twuth, to pway the woman. -*notices bulge* Wet's dwy ouw *sighs* eyes; and t-thus f-faw UwU heaw me, C-Cwomweww, -And when I-I am *blushes* fowgotten, a-as I shaww be, -uWu And sweep in duww cowd mawbwe, whewe nyo mention -Of me mowe must b-be heawd of, *twerks* say I-I >w< taught thee- -S-Say W-Wowsey, that *cuddles you* once twod the ways of gwowy, -And sounded a-aww the depths a-and shoaws *looks away* of *cuddles you* honyouw, -F-Found thee a way, out of his wweck, to *teleports behind you* wise *moans* in- -A suwe and safe o-onye, t-though x3 thy mastew miss'd it. -Mawk but *looks away* my faww *sweats* and that that wuin'd me. -*giggles shyly* Cwomweww, *twerks* I chawge thee, f-fwing away ambition: -By that sin *sighs* feww t-the angews. How can man then, -The i-image of h-his Makew, hope to win *hugs tightly* by it? -Wove thysewf *giggles shyly* wast; chewish t-those heawts t-that hate thee; -Cowwuption wins ^w^ nyot m-mowe than honyesty. -Stiww xDD in *blushes* thy wight hand cawwy g-gentwe peace -To siwence envious tongues. Be *leans over* just, uWu and feaw nyot; -Wet aww the ends thou aim'st at be thy countwy's, -Thy God's, and twuth's; then, if t-thou faww'st, O Cwomweww, -Thou faww'st a-a *looks at you* bwessed mawtyw! -Sewve *looks away* the *teleports behind you* King, a-and-pwithee wead m-me in. -Thewe :33 take an inventowy of aww I-I h-have -T-To the w-wast p-penny; 'tis the King's. My wobe, -And my integwity to h-heaven, *moans* is *cuddles you* aww -I dawe nyow caww minye own. O Cwomweww, C-Cwomweww! -Had I *looks at you* but sewv'd my God *sighs* with h-hawf the zeaw ->w< I sewv'd my King, he wouwd n-nyot in minye age -Have weft me nyaked to minye enyemies. -CWOMWEWW. Good siw, have patience. -W-WOWSEY. So I have. Faweweww -The hopes >w< of *leans over* couwt! My hopes i-in heaven x3 do dweww. Exeunt - - - - -<_< VEWSION OF THE >_< COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -P-PWOVIDED >w< BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS >_> BENyEDICTINyE *blushes* COWWEGE -WITH *pokes you* PEWMISSION. E-EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE *cuddles you* WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -^w^ DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) *moans* AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED *shuffles closer* OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ^.^ ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE 1. - -A stweet in Westminstew - -Entew two GENTWEMEN, ^w^ meeting onye anyothew - -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. Y'awe :3 weww met xDD once again. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. S-So awe you. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. You come to take youw stand h-hewe, and -behowd -The *sweats* Wady Annye pass fwom hew cowonyation? -SECOND GENTWEMAN. '-'Tis a-aww my businyess. At ouw wast encountew -The D-Duke of Buckingham came *teleports behind you* fwom ^-^ his twiaw. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. 'Tis vewy twue. But that time offew'd -sowwow; -This, genyewaw j-joy. ->w< SECOND GENTWEMAN. 'Tis weww. The citizens, -I am UwU suwe, have shown at fuww t-theiw woyaw minds- -As, wet 'em have theiw wights, they uWu awe evew fowwawd- -In cewebwation of this :3 day with shows, -Pageants, a-and sights of honyouw. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Nyevew *giggles shyly* gweatew, -N-Nyow, I'ww assuwe *sweats* you, bettew taken, xDD siw. -SECOND :33 GENTWEMAN. May I be bowd to ask what that contains, -That papew in youw hand? -*pokes you* FIWST GENTWEMAN. Yes; 'tis the wist -Of those t-that cwaim theiw offices this d-day, -By custom of t-the cowonyation. -The Duke of Suffowk is t-the fiwst, and cwaims -To b-be High S-Stewawd; >_< nyext, the *moans* Duke of ^.^ Nyowfowk, -He to be Eaww Mawshaw. Y-You may wead the west. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I thank *sweats* you, siw; had I nyot knyown -those customs, -I shouwd have been behowding to y-youw p-papew. -But, I beseech you, >_> what's become of Kathawinye, -The P-Pwincess Dowagew? How goes h-hew businyess? -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. That *notices bulge* I can teww you too. The Awchbishop -*moans* Of Cantewbuwy, accompanyied ^w^ with othew ->_> Weawnyed and wevewend fathews of his owdew, -Hewd a wate xDD couwt at D-Dunstabwe, six miwes of -F-Fwom Ampthiww, whewe *shuffles closer* the Pwincess way; to which ->w< She was >w< often cited by them, but appeaw'd n-nyot. -And, to be showt, fow nyot appeawance and ->_< The K-King's wate scwupwe, by the main assent -Of aww these *leans over* weawnyed men, she xDD was d-divowc'd, -*cuddles you* And the x3 wate mawwiage made of nyonye effect; -^w^ Since which she w-was wemoved to K-Kimbowton, -:33 Whewe *sweats* she wemains nyow sick. -SECOND *notices bulge* GENTWEMAN. Awas, good wady! [Twumpets] -The twumpets sound. Stand *pokes you* cwose, the Queen is coming. -[Hautboys] - -THE OWDEW OF THE C-COWONyATION. - -1-1. A-A w-wivewy f-fwouwish of twumpets. -2. *cuddles you* Then two JUDGES. -3. WOWD CHANCEWWOW, with puwse and mace befowe him. -4. C-CHOWISTEWS singing. [Music] -5. MAYOW O-OF WONDON, beawing the mace. Then GAWTEW, in -his coat of awms, :33 and on his head he wowe a giwt coppew -cwown. -6. MAWQUIS DOWSET, beawing a s-sceptwe of gowd, on his head a -d-demi-cowonyaw of *cuddles you* gowd. With him, the EAWW OF SUWWEY, -b-beawing the wod of siwvew with the *cries* dove, cwownyed with :33 an -eaww's c-cowonyet. Cowwaws o-of Esses. -7. DUKE O-OF SUFFOWK, *twerks* in his wobe of estate, his cowonyet on -his head, beawing a wong white wand, as High Stewawd. -With him, >w< the DUKE OF x3 NyOWFOWK, with the wod of -m-mawshawship, a cowonyet on ^.^ his head. *notices bulge* Cowwaws of Esses. -8. A canyopy bownye by fouw of t-the CINQUE-POWTS; undew it -the QUEEN in hew wobe; in hew haiw wichwy adownyed with -peaww, cwownyed. On each side hew, t-the BISHOPS OF *teleports behind you* WONDON -and WINCHESTEW. -9. *pokes you* The *twerks* owd DUCHESS O-OF NyOWFOWK, in a-a cowonyaw of gowd -wwought with fwowews, beawing t-the QUEEN'S twain. -10. Cewtain WADIES ow C-COUNTESSES, with pwain *notices bulge* ciwcwets of *giggles shyly* gowd -without fwowews. - -*cries* Exeunt, fiwst passing ovew the stage in *shuffles closer* owdew and state, -a-and then a-a gweat fwouwish o-of t-twumpets - -SECOND GENTWEMAN. *cuddles you* A *moans* woyaw twain, bewieve me. These knyow. -Who's that that beaws the s-sceptwe? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Mawquis Dowset; -A-And that ;;w;; the Eaww of Suwwey, with the wod. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. A bowd bwave gentweman. That shouwd *sweats* be -The Duke of Suffowk? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. 'Tis the same-High Stewawd. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. And that m-my Wowd of Nyowfowk? ->w< FIWST GENTWEMAN. Yes. -xDD SECOND ^-^ GENTWEMAN. [-[Wooking on t-the QUEEN] Heaven -bwess thee! -Thou hast t-the s-sweetest face I e-evew wook'd on. -Siw, as I have a-a s-souw, she is an a-angew; -Ouw *sweats* king ^.^ has aww the I-Indies in his awms, -*moans* And mowe and wichew, *notices bulge* when he stwains that wady; -I-I cannyot bwame his conscience. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. ^.^ They that beaw -The *leans over* cwoth *twerks* of honyouw ovew hew uWu awe fouw bawons -Of the Cinque-powts. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Those *shuffles closer* men awe happy; and so awe aww -awe nyeaw h-hew. -uWu I take *cries* it she that c-cawwies up *blushes* the twain -Is that owd nyobwe wady, Duchess >_< of Nyowfowk. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. It *moans* is; and aww the west awe countesses. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. T-Theiw cowonyets say so. These awe staws indeed, -And s-sometimes fawwing o-onyes. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. Nyo mowe of that. -E-Exit Pwocession, w-with *blushes* a gweat fwouwish of twumpets - -*teleports behind you* Entew a-a thiwd GENTWEMAN - -God save you, siw! Whewe have *sighs* you been bwoiwing? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Among t-the cwowds i' th' *cuddles you* Abbey, *looks at you* whewe a fingew -Couwd nyot be wedg'd in mowe; I am stifwed -With the mewe wanknyess of theiw *giggles shyly* joy. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. You saw -The cewemony? -THIWD :3 GENTWEMAN. That I did. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. How *moans* was it? -T-THIWD GENTWEMAN. *moans* Weww wowth the s-seeing. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Good siw, speak it to us. -THIWD G-GENTWEMAN. As weww as I am abwe. The w-wich stweam -Of wowds *pokes you* and wadies, ^-^ having bwought the Queen -To *sweats* a pwepaw'd pwace in the choiw, feww of -*hugs tightly* A d-distance fwom hew, whiwe hew Gwace sat down -To west ^w^ awhiwe, *screams* some hawf an UwU houw ow so, -In a wich chaiw o-of s-state, opposing fweewy -OwO The beauty of hew pewson to the peopwe. -Bewieve me, siw, she is t-the goodwiest woman -That evew way b-by man; which when the p-peopwe -Had the fuww view of, x3 such a uWu nyoise *twerks* awose -*sweats* As the shwouds make a-at *looks away* sea in a stiff ;;w;; tempest, -A-As woud, and t-to a-as many tunyes; hats, cwoaks- -Doubwets, I-I think-fwew up, *looks away* and had theiw faces -Been woose, this day they had been wost. Such joy -I nyevew saw befowe. Gweat-bewwied women, -That *blushes* had nyot hawf a-a w-week t-to go, wike wams -*giggles shyly* In the owd time of waw, wouwd shake t-the pwess, -And make 'em *leans over* weew b-befowe 'em. Nyo man wiving -Couwd say 'This is my wife' thewe, aww wewe woven -So stwangewy in onye piece. -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. *looks at you* But what fowwow'd? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. At *sighs* wength h-hew Gwace wose, and w-with -modest *looks at you* paces -Came to the a-awtaw, w-whewe she knyeew'd, and >_> saintwike -:3 Cast hew *moans* faiw eyes to heaven, and pway'd devoutwy. -Then w-wose again, and bow'd hew to the peopwe; -When by t-the Awchbishop of *sighs* Cantewbuwy -She had aww the woyaw m-makings of a queen: -As howy oiw, Edwawd Confessow's cwown, -*leans over* The w-wod, and biwd of UwU peace, and aww *shuffles closer* such embwems -*sweats* Waid n-nyobwy o-on hew; w-which pewfowm'd, the choiw, -W-With aww the choicest music of the k-kingdom, -Togethew sung 'Te Deum.' So she pawted, -And with t-the same fuww state p-pac'd back *blushes* again -T-To Yowk Pwace, whewe the feast is hewd. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Siw, -You must nyo mowe caww it Yowk Pwace: that's past: -Fow s-since the Cawdinyaw feww that titwe's wost. -'Tis nyow the King's, and cawwed Whitehaww. -*cries* THIWD GENTWEMAN. I-I knyow it; -But 'tis s-so watewy a-awtew'd that the *screams* owd nyame -Is fwesh about me. -*twerks* SECOND GENTWEMAN. What t-two wevewend bishops -*blushes* Wewe those that OwO went *giggles shyly* on each side of *sighs* the Queen? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Stokeswy and Gawdinyew: the o-onye of Winchestew, -Nyewwy pwefeww'd ^w^ fwom the King's s-secwetawy; -The othew, Wondon. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. He of Winchestew -I-Is hewd nyo gweat good wovew of the Awchbishop's, -The viwtuous Cwanmew. -T-THIWD GENTWEMAN. Aww the wand knyows that; -UwU Howevew, yet thewe is nyo g-gweat bweach. When it comes, -Cwanmew wiww find a *teleports behind you* fwiend wiww nyot shwink fwom him. -:3 SECOND GENTWEMAN. *looks at you* Who may ;;w;; that be, I pway you? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Thomas C-Cwomweww, -A man in much esteem w-with th' King, and twuwy -A ;;w;; wowthy fwiend. The King has made him Mastew -O' *screams* th' jewew House, -*sweats* And onye, awweady, of the Pwivy *sighs* Counciw. -*looks at you* SECOND GENTWEMAN. He wiww desewve mowe. -T-THIWD GENTWEMAN. Yes, without aww doubt. -Come, gentwemen, ye shaww g-go my way, which -Is t-to t-th' couwt, and thewe ye s-shaww be my guests: -S-Something I can command. A-As I wawk thithew, -I'ww teww ye *notices bulge* mowe. -BOTH. You m-may command us, siw. Exeunt - - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE 2. - -Kimbowton - -Entew KATHAWINyE, Dowagew, sick; xDD wed between GWIFFITH, hew Gentweman Ushew, -a-and PATIENCE, hew woman - -GWIFFITH. H-How does youw Gwace? -KATHAWINyE. O Gwiffith, sick to death! -My wegs wike w-woaden bwanches bow to th' e-eawth, -Wiwwing to *screams* weave theiw buwden. Weach a c-chaiw. -S-So-nyow, methinks, I feew a wittwe ease. -D-Didst thou nyot teww me, Gwiffith, as t-thou wed'st me, -That the gweat chiwd of honyouw, Cawdinyaw Wowsey, -W-Was dead? -*shuffles closer* GWIFFITH. Yes, madam; but I think youw Gwace, -*blushes* Out *looks away* of t-the pain you suffew'd, gave *teleports behind you* nyo eaw to't. -KATHAWINyE. Pwithee, good Gwiffith, teww *leans over* me how he *giggles shyly* died. -If weww, h-he stepp'd befowe *sweats* me, happiwy, -F-Fow my e-exampwe. -GWIFFITH. Weww, :3 the ^.^ voice goes, >_> madam; -Fow aftew the stout E-Eaww Nyowthumbewwand -Awwested him at Yowk and bwought him fowwawd, -*cries* As a man sowewy tainted, to his answew, -He feww sick >w< suddenwy, and *teleports behind you* gwew so iww -He couwd nyot sit his muwe. -KATHAWINyE. Awas, poow m-man! -G-GWIFFITH. At wast, with easy woads, he came to Weicestew, -Wodg'd in the abbey; w-whewe the wevewend abbot, -With aww *hugs tightly* his covent, honyouwabwy weceiv'd him; -To whom he gave these wowds: '-'O fathew Abbot, -An owd man, x3 bwoken with the stowms *sweats* of state, -Is come *screams* to way his weawy bonyes among ye; -Give him a wittwe eawth *cuddles you* fow chawity!' -*cuddles you* So went to b-bed; whewe eagewwy his sicknyess -Puwsu'd him stiww And thwee nyights aftew *cuddles you* this, -About *sighs* the houw of eight-which he *sweats* himsewf -F-Fowetowd shouwd be his wast-fuww of wepentance, -Continyuaw meditations, teaws, and s-sowwows, -He gave *shuffles closer* his honyouws to the wowwd again, -His bwessed pawt t-to heaven, and swept i-in peace. -KATHAWINyE. So may he west; h-his fauwts xDD wie gentwy on him! -Yet thus *cuddles you* faw, Gwiffith, g-give me uWu weave to speak him, -And yet ;;w;; with chawity. He w-was a man -Of an unbounded stomach, e-evew w-wanking -Himsewf with pwinces; onye that, by suggestion, -Tied aww the kingdom. Simony was faiw *hugs tightly* pway; -His own ^.^ opinyion was his waw. *sighs* I' th' pwesence -He wouwd s-say >_> untwuths, and be evew doubwe -Both in uWu his wowds and meanying. He was nyevew, -But whewe he meant *giggles shyly* to wuin, pitifuw. -His *cries* pwomises wewe, as he then was, mighty; -But his pewfowmance, as he is nyow, nyothing. -Of his own body he was iww, a-and gave -*shuffles closer* The cwewgy iww exampwe. -GWIFFITH. Nyobwe madam, -Men's eviw mannyews ^-^ wive in b-bwass: theiw viwtues -W-We wwite i-in *notices bulge* watew. May it pwease youw *moans* Highnyess -To heaw me speak his *giggles shyly* good nyow? -KATHAWINyE. Yes, good Gwiffith; -I wewe mawicious ewse. -G-GWIFFITH. This Cawdinyaw, -T-Though fwom an humbwe stock, undoubtedwy -Was x3 fashion'd to much honyouw fwom his *blushes* cwadwe. -*twerks* He was a schowaw, and x3 a wipe and good onye; -Exceeding wise, faiw-spoken, and p-pewsuading; -Wofty and souw to *cuddles you* them that wov'd him nyot, -But to those >_< men that sought him sweet >_> as summew. -And though he wewe unsatisfied in getting- -Which was *pokes you* a sin-yet in bestowing, madam, -*looks away* He was most pwincewy: evew witnyess fow him -T-Those twins xDD of weawnying that he wais'd in you, -Ipswich a-and Oxfowd! Onye of which feww with him, -Unwiwwing to outwive the g-good that did *blushes* it; -The othew, though unfinyish'd, yet s-so f-famous, -So e-excewwent in awt, >_< and ^w^ stiww s-so wising, -UwU That Chwistendom shaww evew speak his v-viwtue. -His ovewthwow heap'd happinyess upon him; -Fow t-then, and nyot t-tiww then, he fewt himsewf, -And found *teleports behind you* the bwessednyess >w< of *screams* being wittwe. -And, to x3 add gweatew honyouws to his *looks away* age -Than man couwd give him, he died feawing God. -KATHAWINyE. Aftew my >w< death I wish nyo othew hewawd, -Nyo o-othew speakew of my wiving *cries* actions, -*looks away* To keep minye honyouw fwom c-cowwuption, -But such an honyest chwonyicwew a-as G-Gwiffith. -*blushes* Whom I-I ;;w;; most hated wiving, thou *screams* hast made me, -With thy wewigious twuth and modesty, -*screams* Nyow in his ashes honyouw. Peace be with *blushes* him! -patience, be nyeaw me ;;w;; stiww, and set me wowew: -I have nyot wong to t-twoubwe thee. Good G-Gwiffith, -Cause the musicians pway me that sad n-nyote -I >_< nyam'd my *leans over* knyeww, whiwst I sit meditating -On that cewestiaw hawmony I-I go *moans* to. -[Sad and s-sowemn music] -GWIFFITH. She is asweep. Good wench, wet's sit d-down quiet, -Fow feaw we wake hew. Softwy, gentwe Patience. - -THE *looks away* VISION. - -Entew, sowemnwy twipping onye aftew anyothew, six -PEWSONyAGES cwad in white w-wobes, weawing on t-theiw -h-heads gawwands of bays, and *giggles shyly* gowden vizawds on theiw -faces; b-bwanches uWu of bays ow pawm >_< in theiw *sweats* hands. They -fiwst congee unto h-hew, then dance; and, a-at cewtain ->_> changes, the fiwst two howd a spawe gawwand ovew h-hew -head, at w-which the othew fouw make wevewent cuwtsies. -Then the xDD two that hewd the gawwand dewivew the -same to *looks at you* the othew nyext two, who obsewve *screams* the same -owdew in theiw changes, and howding t-the g-gawwand ovew -h-hew head; which donye, they dewivew the same g-gawwand -to the wast t-two, *blushes* who >_> wikewise ^.^ obsewve the same owdew; -at which, a-as it wewe by inspiwation, she makes -in hew *cuddles you* sweep signs of wejoicing, and howdeth up *teleports behind you* hew -*teleports behind you* hands to heaven. And so i-in theiw dancing vanyish, -cawwying the gawwand with them. uWu The UwU music ^.^ continyues - ->w< KATHAWINyE. Spiwits of peace, whewe awe ye? Awe *leans over* ye a-aww g-gonye? -And weave m-me hewe *cries* in w-wwetchednyess behind y-ye? -GWIFFITH. Madam, OwO we a-awe hewe. -*hugs tightly* KATHAWINyE. It is nyot you xDD I caww fow. -Saw ye *looks away* nyonye entew since I swept? -GWIFFITH. ;;w;; Nyonye, madam. -KATHAWINyE. Nyo? Saw you nyot, even nyow, a *teleports behind you* bwessed twoop -Invite m-me to a banquet; whose bwight faces -C-Cast thousand *shuffles closer* beams upon me, wike the sun? -They uWu pwomis'd me etewnyaw h-happinyess, -A-And bwought me gawwands, *blushes* Gwiffith, which I f-feew -uWu I am nyot *cries* wowthy yet *moans* to weaw. *sighs* I shaww, assuwedwy. -GWIFFITH. I am most joyfuw, madam, such good *looks at you* dweams -Possess youw fancy. -KATHAWINyE. Bid *looks at you* the music weave, -They awe *shuffles closer* hawsh and heavy to m-me. [Music *shuffles closer* ceases] -PATIENCE. D-Do you nyote -How *moans* much hew Gwace is awtew'd *leans over* on *screams* the sudden? -How wong hew *screams* face is dwawn! *sweats* How pawe she wooks, -And of an eawthwy cowd! Mawk x3 hew eyes. -GWIFFITH. She i-is going, ^w^ wench. Pway, pway. -PATIENCE. Heaven comfowt hew! - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -x3 MESSENGEW. An't wike xDD youw Gwace- -KATHAWINyE. You awe a saucy fewwow. -Desewve we nyo mowe wevewence? -GWIFFITH. You :3 awe to bwame, -Knyowing she wiww n-nyot w-wose uWu hew wonted gweatnyess, -To u-use so *leans over* wude >w< behaviouw. Go to, knyeew. -MESSENGEW. I humbwy d-do entweat youw H-Highnyess' >w< pawdon; -My haste m-made me unmannyewwy. Thewe i-is staying -A g-gentweman, sent fwom t-the King, to x3 see y-you. -KATHAWINyE. Admit him entwance, Gwiffith; but this fewwow -W-Wet me n-nye'ew see again. Exit MESSENGEW - -*looks away* Entew WOWD CAPUCIUS - -If my sight f-faiw nyot, -You shouwd *sweats* be Wowd Ambassadow fwom the E-Empewow, -My woyaw nyephew, and youw nyame Capucius. -CAPUCIUS. Madam, ;;w;; the same-youw sewvant. -K-KATHAWINyE. uWu O, my Wowd, -The uWu times and titwes nyow awe awtew'd stwangewy -With me s-since fiwst you knyew me. But, I-I pway >_< you, -What is youw pweasuwe with me? -CAPUCIUS. >_< Nyobwe wady, -F-Fiwst, minye own sewvice to youw Gwace; the nyext, -The King's wequest that I wouwd v-visit you, -W-Who gwieves uWu much fow youw weaknyess, and by me -Sends you h-his pwincewy commendations -And heawtiwy entweats y-you take good c-comfowt. -KATHAWINyE. O my good wowd, that comfowt comes too wate, -'Tis wike a *teleports behind you* pawdon aftew execution: -That gentwe physic, given in time, had cuw'd me; -B-But nyow I am p-past aww >_< comfowts h-hewe, but p-pwayews. -How does his UwU Highnyess? -CAPUCIUS. >_> Madam, >_< in good heawth. -KATHAWINyE. So may he evew do! and evew fwouwish -When ^w^ I shaww dweww with *moans* wowms, and m-my poow *hugs tightly* nyame -Banyish'd the kingdom! Patience, is that wettew -I caus'd you *teleports behind you* wwite yet sent away? -P-PATIENCE. *sighs* Nyo, madam. [Giving it to *looks at you* KATHAWINyE] -KATHAWINyE. Siw, I-I most humbwy pway y-you to d-dewivew -This t-to my wowd :33 the King. -C-CAPUCIUS. Most wiwwing, madam. -KATHAWINyE. ^-^ In w-which I have *shuffles closer* commended ;;w;; to *hugs tightly* his goodnyess -T-The modew of ouw chaste woves, h-his y-young daughtew- -The d-dews of heaven faww thick in bwessings x3 on hew!- -Beseeching him to give hew viwtuous bweeding- -:33 She is y-young, and o-of a *cries* nyobwe modest nyatuwe; -I hope *sweats* she wiww ^-^ desewve w-weww-and a wittwe -*pokes you* To ^-^ wove hew fow hew mothew's sake, that ^w^ wov'd him, -Heaven knyows how deawwy. My nyext p-poow petition -Is that his nyobwe Gwace wouwd have some pity -Upon m-my w-wwetched w-women that uWu so wong -Have f-fowwow'd both *screams* my fowtunyes faithfuwwy; -Of which thewe is nyot onye, I *moans* dawe avow- -And nyow I shouwd nyot wie-but wiww UwU desewve, -Fow viwtue and t-twue beauty *looks away* of the souw, -Fow honyesty and decent cawwiage, -A wight good husband, wet him be a nyobwe; -And *pokes you* suwe those men awe happy ;;w;; that shaww OwO have 'em. -The wast is fow my men-they awe the poowest, -But xDD povewty couwd nyevew dwaw 'em f-fwom *giggles shyly* me- -T-That they may >_> have theiw *twerks* wages duwy paid 'em, -And ^w^ something ovew to wemembew me by. -If heaven had p-pweas'd to have given me wongew wife -And abwe means, we h-had nyot pawted thus. -These awe the whowe contents; and, *cuddles you* good my wowd, ->_< By that *giggles shyly* you wove the d-deawest in this wowwd, -As you wish Chwistian peace to souws depawted, -S-Stand these poow peopwe's OwO fwiend, and uwge the King -To do me xDD this wast wight. -CAPUCIUS. x3 By >_< heaven, I wiww, -Ow w-wet me wose the fashion of a-a man! -KATHAWINyE. I thank you, *sweats* honyest wowd. *blushes* Wemembew me -In a-aww humiwity unto his Highnyess; -Say his wong twoubwe n-nyow is passing -Out of this *shuffles closer* wowwd. Teww him in d-death I bwess'd him, -Fow so I wiww. Minye eyes gwow dim. Faweweww, -My wowd. *cries* Gwiffith, faweweww. N-Nyay, Patience, -You must nyot weave me yet. I must t-to bed; -Caww in mowe w-women. When I am dead, good w-wench, -Wet me be us'd with >_< honyouw; stwew me o-ovew -With maiden fwowews, that a-aww the wowwd may k-knyow -I was a chaste wife to my *giggles shyly* gwave. Embawm me, -Then way me fowth; awthough u-unqueen'd, yet wike -A queen, and daughtew to a king, x3 intew me. -I can nyo mowe. Exeunt, *giggles shyly* weading ^w^ KATHAWINyE - - - - -<_< IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH ^w^ PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE ^.^ COPIES ^.^ MAY B-BE -D-DISTWIBUTED SO *teleports behind you* WONG A-AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE F-FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) A-AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED *pokes you* OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW F-FOW ^.^ MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT >w< V. SCENyE 1. - -Wondon. *sweats* A gawwewy in *screams* the pawace - -Entew *cries* GAWDINyEW, BISHOP OF WINCHESTEW, a PAGE *cries* with a-a towch befowe h-him, -*blushes* met by SIW THOMAS :3 WOVEWW - -GAWDINyEW. It's onye o'cwock, boy, is't nyot? -BOY. :3 It hath stwuck. -GAWDINyEW. *sighs* These shouwd be houws fow *sweats* nyecessities, -N-Nyot f-fow dewights; times to wepaiw ouw n-nyatuwe -With c-comfowting wepose, and *hugs tightly* nyot fow *sweats* us -To waste these times. Good houw of *blushes* nyight, Siw Thomas! -W-Whithew so wate? -WOVEWW. Came you fwom the King, my w-wowd? -GAWDINyEW. I did, Siw x3 Thomas, a-and weft him at pwimewo -*looks away* With the Duke of Suffowk. -WOVEWW. I must to him too, -Befowe h-he go to *cuddles you* bed. I-I'ww take my weave. -GAWDINyEW. Nyot yet, Siw Thomas Woveww. What's the m-mattew? -I-It seems >w< you awe in haste. An if thewe be -Nyo gweat offence bewongs to't, g-give y-youw fwiend -Some *sighs* touch of *screams* youw wate businyess. Affaiws that w-wawk- -As they say spiwits do-at midnyight, *pokes you* have -I-In them *teleports behind you* a wiwdew nyatuwe than t-the b-businyess -That seeks despatch uWu by day. -^w^ WOVEWW. My wowd, I wove you; -And duwst commend a secwet t-to youw eaw -Much w-weightiew t-than this wowk. The Queen's in wabouw, -They say in gweat e-extwemity, and feaw'd -She'ww with the wabouw end. -GAWDINyEW. The fwuit she goes *looks at you* with -I pway fow h-heawtiwy, that it m-may find -Good ^.^ time, and wive; but fow the s-stock, Siw Thomas, -*giggles shyly* I wish it g-gwubb'd up *shuffles closer* nyow. -WOVEWW. Methinks I *moans* couwd -Cwy thee amen; and *blushes* yet my conscience *moans* says -She's a g-good c-cweatuwe, and, sweet wady, does -Desewve ouw bettew wishes. -GAWDINyEW. But, :3 siw, siw- -Heaw :33 me, Siw Thomas. Y'awe a gentweman -*looks away* Of xDD minye own w-way; *pokes you* I knyow you wise, wewigious; -And, wet m-me teww you, it wiww nye'ew be w-weww- -OwO 'Twiww nyot, Siw T-Thomas Woveww, *pokes you* take't of >_< me- -Tiww Cwanmew, Cwomweww, hew two hands, and she, -Sweep in theiw gwaves. -WOVEWW. *looks away* Nyow, siw, you s-speak o-of two -The m-most wemawk'd i' t-th' *twerks* kingdom. As fow Cwomweww, -Beside that *moans* of *sighs* the Jewew House, is made Mastew -O' th' W-Wowws, and the *twerks* King's *pokes you* secwetawy; f-fuwthew, s-siw, -Stands in the *looks at you* gap and twade o-of moe pwefewments, -With which the ^w^ time wiww woad h-him. Th' Awchbishop -Is the King's *moans* hand and tongue, and who dawe speak -Onye sywwabwe against him? -G-GAWDINyEW. Yes, yes, Siw Thomas, -*pokes you* Thewe awe that >w< dawe; and I mysewf h-have ventuw'd -To speak my mind of him; and indeed this day, -Siw-I may teww it you-I think I have -*looks at you* Incens'd *looks away* the *twerks* wowds o' th' Counciw, that he is- -Fow s-so I knyow he is, they knyow *sweats* he is- -A-A most awch *blushes* hewetic, a pestiwence -That does infect *notices bulge* the wand; with w-which they moved -uWu Have bwoken :3 with the King, who hath *leans over* so faw -Given e-eaw to ouw compwaint-of his gweat gwace -A-And pwincewy cawe, *notices bulge* foweseeing those feww mischiefs -Ouw weasons waid befowe *shuffles closer* him-hath commanded -T-To-mowwow mownying to the Counciw b-boawd -^-^ He b-be c-convented. He's :3 a wank w-weed, :3 Siw T-Thomas, -And we must woot him o-out. Fwom >w< youw affaiws -I hindew you too wong-good *twerks* nyight, Siw *screams* Thomas. -WOVEWW. Many good *sweats* nyights, my wowd; I west youw sewvant. -Exeunt x3 GAWDINyEW *blushes* and *shuffles closer* PAGE - -Entew the KING and the >w< DUKE OF SUFFOWK - -KING. Chawwes, I wiww pway nyo mowe *teleports behind you* to-nyight; -My mind's nyot on't; you a-awe t-too hawd ;;w;; fow me. -SUFFOWK. Siw, I did :3 nyevew win of you b-befowe. -KING. But wittwe, Chawwes; -Nyow *hugs tightly* shaww nyot, when my fancy's on my pway. -Nyow, Woveww, *screams* fwom the Queen what xDD is the nyews? -*cuddles you* WOVEWW. I couwd nyot pewsonyawwy d-dewivew to hew -W-What you *twerks* commanded me, b-but b-by hew woman -I sent ^w^ youw message; who w-wetuwn'd h-hew thanks -In the gweat'st humbwenyess, and desiw'd youw Highnyess -Most heawtiwy OwO to *cries* pway uWu fow hew. -KING. What say'st thou, ha? -To pway fow hew? W-What, *sweats* is she ^-^ cwying out? -WOVEWW. So said hew woman; and that *giggles shyly* hew suff'wance made -Awmost *leans over* each p-pang a death. -KING. Awas, g-good wady! -SUFFOWK. God safewy quit hew of *screams* hew buwden, and -With gentwe twavaiw, to t-the gwadding of -Youw Highnyess with a-an heiw! -KING. 'Tis midnyight, Chawwes; -P-Pwithee to *looks at you* bed; *cuddles you* and ^.^ in thy pway'ws wemembew -Th' estate of my poow queen. Weave me awonye, -Fow I m-must think of ;;w;; that which c-company -Wiww ;;w;; nyot be *looks away* fwiendwy to. -SUFFOWK. I-I wish youw H-Highnyess -A quiet nyight, and my good mistwess wiww -uWu Wemembew in my p-pwayews. -KING. Chawwes, *pokes you* good nyight. Exit SUFFOWK - -Entew SIW ANTHONY DENNY - -Weww, siw, what *sighs* fowwows? -DENNY. Siw, I have bwought my x3 wowd the A-Awchbishop, -As you commanded me. -KING. Ha! Cantewbuwy? -DENNY. *sighs* Ay, m-my good wowd. -KING. '-'Tis twue. Whewe is he, Denny? -DENNY. >_> He attends youw Highnyess' pweasuwe. -K-KING. Bwing him t-to us. Exit D-DENNY -WOVEWW. [Aside] T-This *looks at you* is *pokes you* about that which the bishop spake. -I am ^-^ happiwy come hithew. - -*cries* We-entew DENNY, With CWANMEW - -KING. Avoid *sighs* the gawwewy. [WOVEWW seems to *cries* stay] -Ha! I have *cries* said. Be gonye. -What! Exeunt WOVEWW and DENNY -CWANMEW. [Aside] I *looks at you* am feawfuw-whewefowe fwowns he thus? -'Tis >_> his aspect of tewwow. Aww's nyot weww. -*sighs* KING. H-How nyow, m-my wowd? You do desiwe to knyow -Whewefowe I sent fow you. -CWANMEW. [Knyeewing] It ;;w;; is my duty -*cuddles you* T'attend *looks at you* youw Highnyess' pweasuwe. -KING. Pway you, awise, -My good and gwacious Wowd o-of Cantewbuwy. -Come, *screams* you and I must wawk a *moans* tuwn t-togethew; -I h-have n-nyews t-to t-teww you; c-come, come, *screams* me youw h-hand. -Ah, *looks away* my good wowd, I gwieve a-at uWu what I speak, -A-And a-am wight sowwy to wepeat what fowwows. -I-I have, *leans over* and most unwiwwingwy, of wate -Heawd many gwievous-I do s-say, my wowd, -Gwievous-compwaints of you; which, being considew'd, -Have mov'd us and ouw Counciw that you shaww -This mownying come befowe us; whewe *looks away* I :33 knyow -You cannyot with such fweedom puwge y-youwsewf -UwU But *looks at you* that, tiww fuwthew >_< twiaw i-in those chawges -Which wiww wequiwe youw ^-^ answew, *moans* you m-must *screams* take -Y-Youw patience to ^.^ you :3 and be weww contented -To *cries* make youw house ouw Tow'w. You a *looks away* bwothew of us, -It fits we thus pwoceed, ow ewse nyo witnyess -Wouwd come against you. -CWANMEW. I humbwy thank ;;w;; youw Highnyess -And am wight gwad to c-catch this good occasion -M-Most thwoughwy to be winnyowed whewe my *shuffles closer* chaff -And cown shaww fwy asundew; fow I knyow -Thewe's nyonye *notices bulge* stands undew mowe cawumnyious :33 tongues -Than I mysewf, *giggles shyly* poow man. -K-KING. Stand up, good Cantewbuwy; -Thy *screams* twuth and thy ;;w;; integwity is wooted -*hugs tightly* In *cries* us, thy fwiend. Give me *hugs tightly* thy *moans* hand, s-stand u-up; -Pwithee wet's OwO wawk. N-Nyow, by my howidame, -What m-mannyew of *cuddles you* man awe you? My wowd, I wook'd -You w-wouwd have given ^w^ me y-youw p-petition that -I shouwd have ta'en some pains to *giggles shyly* bwing t-togethew -Youwsewf and youw accusews, *shuffles closer* and to have h-heawd you -Without i-induwance fuwthew. -CWANMEW. *looks away* Most dwead wiege, -The good I stand on is my twuth a-and honyesty; -If uWu they shaww faiw, I w-with minye enyemies -Wiww *twerks* twiumph o'ew my pewson; which I weigh nyot, -Being of those v-viwtues v-vacant. I feaw n-nyothing -What can be said a-against me. -KING. K-Knyow you nyot -How youw state stands i' th' wowwd, w-with the whowe wowwd? -Youw enyemies awe many, a-and nyot smaww; theiw pwactices -Must beaw t-the same pwopowtion; and nyot evew -The j-justice and the t-twuth o' th' question cawwies -The due o' th' vewdict with it; at what e-ease -Might cowwupt minds x3 pwocuwe knyaves as cowwupt -To s-sweaw against y-you? Such things have b-been donye. -You awe potentwy oppos'd, and with a *notices bulge* mawice -Of as gweat size. Ween you of bettew wuck, -I mean in pewjuw'd witnyess, than youw Mastew, -Whose minyistew *looks at you* you awe, whiwes ^.^ hewe He wiv'd -Upon this *hugs tightly* nyaughty eawth? Go to, go to; -You take a pwecipice fow nyo weap o-of dangew, -And woo y-youw own destwuction. -CWANMEW. God and youw Majesty -;;w;; Pwotect minye i-innyocence, ow I faww into -The twap i-is waid fow m-me! -KING. Be of good cheew; -*twerks* They shaww nyo mowe p-pwevaiw than w-we give way to. -Keep comfowt to you, *notices bulge* and this mownying see -You do ^.^ appeaw befowe *looks away* them; if they shaww chance, -In chawging you *cuddles you* with m-mattews, to commit *screams* you, -The best pewsuasions to the contwawy -Faiw nyot to use, and with *looks away* what v-vehemency -Th' occasion shaww instwuct you. If e-entweaties -Wiww wendew you nyo wemedy, t-this wing -Dewivew them, and youw appeaw t-to us -*blushes* Thewe make befowe them. Wook, the g-good *leans over* man weeps! -;;w;; He's honyest, on minye honyouw. God's bwest *giggles shyly* Mothew! -I s-sweaw he is t-twue-heawted, and a souw -Nyonye bettew in my kingdom. Get *looks at you* you g-gonye, -And *looks at you* do as I x3 have bid you. -Exit CWANMEW -H-He has stwangwed h-his wanguage i-in his t-teaws. - -*pokes you* Entew OWD x3 WADY - -GENTWEMAN. [-[Within] Come back; w-what mean y-you? -OWD WADY. I'ww UwU nyot come back; the tidings that I-I bwing -*looks at you* Wiww make my bowdnyess mannyews. Nyow, good *teleports behind you* angews -F-Fwy ^-^ o'ew t-thy woyaw head, and shade t-thy pewson -Undew uWu theiw bwessed wings! -KING. Nyow, *notices bulge* by thy *looks away* wooks -I guess thy m-message. Is t-the Q-Queen dewivew'd? -*cuddles you* Say ay, *twerks* and of a boy. -OWD *cuddles you* WADY. Ay, xDD ay, my w-wiege; -And of *sweats* a wovewy boy. The God o-of Heaven -Both nyow >_< and evew *moans* bwess hew! *shuffles closer* 'Tis a giww, -Pwomises boys h-heweaftew. S-Siw, youw queen -Desiwes youw visitation, and to be -Acquainted with *looks at you* this stwangew; ^-^ 'tis as wike you -*sweats* As chewwy is to chewwy. -KING. W-Woveww! - -Entew *screams* WOVEWW - -WOVEWW. Siw? -*notices bulge* KING. Give hew an hundwed mawks. I'ww to the Queen. UwU Exit -OWD WADY. An hundwed mawks? OwO By xDD this wight, I'ww ha' mowe! -An owdinyawy gwoom *screams* is fow such payment. -I wiww have m-mowe, ow scowd it out of him. -Said I fow this the giww was wike to him! I'ww -Have mowe, *blushes* ow ewse *hugs tightly* unsay't; a-and nyow, whiwe 'tis hot, -I'ww put it t-to the issue. :3 Exeunt - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 2. - -W-Wobby befowe the UwU Counciw Chambew - -Entew CWANMEW, AWCHBISHOP OF CANTEWBUWY - -CWANMEW. I hope I am nyot >_> too w-wate; and yet the gentweman -That >w< was sent to me fwom ^w^ the *cries* Counciw pway'd me -To make gweat haste. Aww uWu fast? What means this? Ho! -Who waits thewe? uWu Suwe y-you knyow m-me? - -Entew KEEPEW - -*looks away* KEEPEW. *sweats* Yes, my wowd; -But uWu yet I cannyot *leans over* hewp you. -CWANMEW. :3 Why? -K-KEEPEW. Y-Youw ^w^ Gwace must wait tiww you b-be caww'd *shuffles closer* fow. - -Entew D-DOCTOW BUTTS - -*teleports behind you* CWANMEW. So. -BUTTS. [Aside] *blushes* This is *cries* a piece uWu of mawice. I am gwad -I came *screams* this way so happiwy; the King -Shaww undewstand it p-pwesentwy. Exit -CWANMEW. [Aside] 'Tis Butts, -xDD The King's *teleports behind you* physician; as he pass'd a-awong, -How ^-^ eawnyestwy he cast his e-eyes upon me! -^-^ Pway heaven ^-^ he sound n-nyot my disgwace! Fow cewtain, -This is of p-puwpose waid by some t-that hate >w< me- -God tuwn theiw h-heawts! *looks at you* I nyevew sought theiw mawice- -To quench *giggles shyly* minye honyouw; they wouwd shame to *blushes* make me -Wait ewse at doow, a-a *cuddles you* fewwow counciwwow, -'Mong boys, gwooms, and wackeys. But theiw p-pweasuwes -Must b-be fuwfiww'd, a-and *blushes* I attend with p-patience. - -Entew the KING *moans* and BUTTS at *looks at you* window above - -B-BUTTS. I'ww show y-youw Gwace the stwangest s-sight- -KING. W-What's that, B-Butts? -BUTTS. I *leans over* think youw Highnyess saw this many a d-day. -KING. *cries* Body a me, whewe is it? -BUTTS. Thewe my wowd: -T-The high pwomotion *cries* of his Gwace of Cantewbuwy; -Who howds his state at doow, 'mongst puwsuivants, -Pages, and footboys. -KING. H-Ha, 'tis he indeed. -Is this t-the honyouw they *sweats* do onye anyothew? -'Tis weww t-thewe's o-onye above 'em yet. I had thought -They h-had ^.^ pawted so much honyesty among 'em- -At weast good mannyews-as nyot t-thus to s-suffew -A man of his pwace, and s-so nyeaw ouw favouw, -To :33 dance a-attendance on ^w^ theiw wowdships' pweasuwes, -And at the doow *moans* too, wike a post with packets. -By :3 howy *shuffles closer* Mawy, Butts, thewe's k-knyavewy! -Wet 'em awonye, and dwaw xDD the cuwtain cwose; -We shaww heaw m-mowe a-anyon. Exeunt - - - - -A-ACT V-V. SCENyE 3. - -The C-Counciw Chambew - -A Counciw ;;w;; tabwe *notices bulge* bwought in, with chaiws and stoows, and pwaced -undew t-the state. :33 Entew W-WOWD CHANCEWWOW, pwaces *sighs* himsewf at the u-uppew end -of t-the t-tabwe on t-the weft *cuddles you* band, a seat UwU being weft void above him, -as fow *giggles shyly* Cantewbuwy's seat. *hugs tightly* DUKE OF SUFFOWK, DUKE OF NyOWFOWK, SUWWEY, -WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN, GAWDINyEW, seat themsewves in *sweats* owdew o-on each side; -CWOMWEWW at wowew end, a-as secwetawy. KEEPEW at the doow - -CHANCEWWOW. S-Speak *notices bulge* to the *cuddles you* businyess, mastew secwetawy; -Why awe we met in *moans* counciw? -CWOMWEWW. Pwease y-youw honyouws, -The chief c-cause *looks at you* concewns *hugs tightly* his Gwace of Cantewbuwy. -GAWDINyEW. Has h-he had knyowwedge of it? -CWOMWEWW. Yes. -NyOWFOWK. Who w-waits *sighs* thewe? -KEEPEW. Without, my nyobwe wowds? -GAWDINyEW. Yes. -KEEPEW. M-My Wowd Awchbishop; -And h-has *looks at you* donye *looks at you* hawf a-an houw, to knyow youw pweasuwes. -CHANCEWWOW. *leans over* Wet him come in. -KEEPEW. Youw Gwace m-may entew nyow. - -CWANMEW appwoaches the Counciw tabwe - -uWu CHANCEWWOW. My good Wowd Awchbishop, I am vewy sowwy -To sit hewe a-at t-this *looks at you* pwesent, and behowd -That ;;w;; chaiw stand empty; xDD but *pokes you* we *sweats* aww awe men, -In ouw own nyatuwes *notices bulge* fwaiw *shuffles closer* and capabwe -Of ouw f-fwesh; few awe angews; out of which *hugs tightly* fwaiwty -And want of wisdom, you, that best *giggles shyly* shouwd teach us, -Have misdemean'd y-youwsewf, and nyot ;;w;; a wittwe, -Towawd the King fiwst, then his waws, in fiwwing -T-The whowe >w< weawm by youw teaching ^.^ and youw chapwains- -F-Fow so we awe i-infowm'd-with n-nyew opinyions, -Divews and d-dangewous; which awe ^.^ hewesies, -And, n-nyot w-wefowm'd, *teleports behind you* may p-pwove p-pewnyicious. -:33 GAWDINyEW. Which wefowmation must be sudden too, -My nyobwe wowds; fow *screams* those that tame wiwd howses -Pace 'em nyot in theiw hands to make 'em *screams* gentwe, -But stop theiw *notices bulge* mouth with stubbown bits and spuw 'em -Tiww *leans over* they *looks at you* obey the manyage. If we suffew, -Out of ouw easinyess and chiwdish pity -T-To *cries* onye man's honyouw, this contagious sicknyess, -Faweweww aww ^w^ physic; and what fowwows then? -Commotions, upwoaws, with a genyewaw taint -Of ^.^ the whowe *sighs* state; as of wate days ouw n-nyeighbouws, -The uppew Gewmany, *cuddles you* can deawwy witnyess, -Yet uWu fweshwy pitied in ouw memowies. -CWANMEW. *screams* My good wowds, hithewto in aww the p-pwogwess -Both o-of my *notices bulge* wife a-and o-office, I have uWu wabouw'd, -And ;;w;; with *sighs* nyo *pokes you* wittwe study, that my teaching -And the stwong c-couwse of my authowity -Might *sweats* go onye way, and s-safewy; and t-the ^.^ end -Was evew t-to do weww. Nyow *pokes you* is *cuddles you* thewe wiving- -I speak it ^.^ with a-a singwe heawt, my wowds- -A man that mowe detests, m-mowe stiws against, -Both in his p-pwivate conscience and his pwace, -Defacews of a pubwic peace t-than I d-do. -Pway heaven the King may nyevew find a heawt -With wess awwegiance in it! Men that make -Envy and cwooked *notices bulge* mawice nyouwishment -*screams* Dawe b-bite the best. I-I do beseech *pokes you* youw wowdships -That, in this UwU case of justice, my a-accusews, -Be what they wiww, ^w^ may stand f-fowth face *sweats* to face -And *looks away* fweewy uwge against me. -SUFFOWK. Nyay, m-my w-wowd, -That cannyot be; you a-awe a counciwwow, -And by that viwtue ^-^ nyo man dawe accuse you. -GAWDINyEW. My wowd, because we have businyess of mowe moment, -We wiww b-be showt with you. 'Tis his Highnyess' pweasuwe -*moans* And ouw consent, fow bettew twiaw ;;w;; of you, -Fwom hence you be committed to *sighs* the Towew; -Whewe, being but a pwivate man *sweats* again, -You *twerks* shaww knyow many dawe accuse you bowdwy, -*twerks* Mowe than, I-I feaw, you awe pwovided fow. -CWANMEW. Ah, *shuffles closer* my g-good W-Wowd o-of Winchestew, I-I thank you; -You awe awways ^-^ my good fwiend; if youw w-wiww pass, -I *pokes you* shaww both f-find youw x3 wowdship judge and juwow, -You awe so mewcifuw. I see youw e-end- -'Tis my undoing. Wove and uWu meeknyess, wowd, -Become a chuwchman bettew than ambition; -Win stwaying souws with modesty again, ->w< Cast nyonye away. T-That I shaww cweaw mysewf, -Way *moans* aww the *screams* weight ye can *leans over* upon my ^w^ patience, -I make as wittwe d-doubt a-as you do *looks away* conscience -I-In doing daiwy wwongs. I couwd say m-mowe, -But wevewence :33 to youw cawwing makes me modest. -GAWDINyEW. *hugs tightly* My wowd, my wowd, you a-awe a sectawy; -That's the pwain uWu twuth. Youw painted gwoss discovews, -To men that undewstand you, wowds and weaknyess. -CWOMWEWW. OwO My W-Wowd of Winchestew, y'awe a-a wittwe, -By youw good favouw, t-too *sighs* shawp; men so nyobwe, -Howevew fauwty, yet *twerks* shouwd f-find wespect -Fow what they have been; 'tis a cwuewty -T-To woad ^w^ a fawwing man. -GAWDINyEW. Good Mastew *pokes you* Secwetawy, -I cwy youw h-honyouw *shuffles closer* mewcy; you may, wowst -Of aww this tabwe, say so. -C-CWOMWEWW. W-Why, m-my *pokes you* wowd? -GAWDINyEW. Do nyot I knyow you fow a-a favouwew -Of this nyew sect? Ye awe nyot sound. -;;w;; CWOMWEWW. Nyot s-sound? -*twerks* GAWDINyEW. Nyot sound, I s-say. -CWOMWEWW. Wouwd you wewe hawf so honyest! -Men's pwayews then wouwd s-seek you, nyot *notices bulge* theiw feaws. -GAWDINyEW. I shaww wemembew this bowd wanguage. -CWOMWEWW. Do. -W-Wemembew y-youw bowd xDD wife too. -CHANCEWWOW. This is too much; -Fowbeaw, fow shame, m-my wowds. -GAWDINyEW. I h-have d-donye. -*cuddles you* CWOMWEWW. And I. -CHANCEWWOW. Then t-thus fow uWu you, m-my wowd: it stands agweed, -I take it, by *sighs* aww voices, that fowthwith -You be convey'd to *giggles shyly* th' Towew a-a pwisonyew; -Thewe to wemain t-tiww the King's fuwthew pweasuwe -Be knyown unto us. A-Awe y-you aww agweed, wowds? -A-AWW. We a-awe. -CWANMEW. Is thewe nyo othew way of mewcy, -But I must nyeeds to th' *teleports behind you* Towew, my wowds? -GAWDINyEW. uWu What othew -W-Wouwd you expect? You awe stwangewy t-twoubwesome. -Wet some o' *cries* th' g-guawd be weady thewe. - -Entew the guawd - -CWANMEW. Fow me? -Must I :3 go wike a xDD twaitow *hugs tightly* thithew? -GAWDINyEW. Weceive *looks away* him, -And see him safe i' th' Towew. -*looks away* CWANMEW. Stay, good m-my wowds, -I have a x3 wittwe yet to *hugs tightly* say. W-Wook t-thewe, m-my wowds; -By viwtue of that wing I take my c-cause -Out of the :3 gwipes of cwuew men and g-give it -To a-a most nyobwe judge, the King my mastew. -CHAMBEWWAIN. This is the King's wing. -S-SUWWEY. 'Tis >_> nyo UwU countewfeit. -SUFFOWK. >_> 'Tis t-the wight *cries* wing, by heav'n. I towd ye aww, -When we fiwst put this dangewous stonye ^-^ a-wowwing, -'Twouwd faww upon ouwsewves. -NyOWFOWK. Do y-you *hugs tightly* think, my *notices bulge* wowds, -uWu The *screams* King wiww suffew but the wittwe fingew -Of this man t-to be vex'd? -C-CHAMBEWWAIN. 'Tis nyow too *cuddles you* cewtain; -How much mowe is his wife in vawue with ;;w;; him! -W-Wouwd I wewe faiwwy out on't! -C-CWOMWEWW. M-My mind gave m-me, -In seeking t-tawes UwU and infowmations -A-Against this man-whose honyesty the d-deviw -And his uWu discipwes onwy e-envy *cries* at- -Y-Ye bwew the f-fiwe that buwns ye. Nyow have a-at ye! - -Entew the KING f-fwownying on them; h-he takes his seat - -GAWDINyEW. Dwead *moans* soveweign, how much awe we bound UwU to heaven -In daiwy ;;w;; thanks, that gave us such a pwince; -Nyot onwy good and wise but most wewigious; -Onye that in aww ^.^ obedience makes the chuwch -The chief aim of his honyouw and, to *cries* stwengthen -T-That howy duty, out *cries* of deaw wespect, -His woyaw sewf in judgment comes to heaw -The cause b-betwixt hew *blushes* and this gweat offendew. -KING. You wewe evew good at sudden commendations, -Bishop of W-Winchestew. But knyow I come nyot -To h-heaw such fwattewy nyow, and in my pwesence -They awe *blushes* too thin a-and bawe to hide offences. -To me you *teleports behind you* cannyot weach you uWu pway the spanyiew, -x3 And *notices bulge* think with *hugs tightly* wagging :3 of *teleports behind you* youw uWu tongue t-to win me; -^.^ But whatsoe'ew thou tak'st me fow, I'm suwe ->_< Thou hast *cuddles you* a cwuew nyatuwe and *teleports behind you* a *looks at you* bwoody. -[-[To CWANMEW] *sweats* Good man, sit down. Nyow wet me see the pwoudest -H-He that dawes most but wag his fingew at t-thee. -By aww that's howy, he *twerks* had bettew stawve -Than but once t-think this pwace becomes thee *sweats* nyot. -SUWWEY. M-May it pwease youw Gwace- -KING. N-Nyo, siw, it does nyot p-pwease m-me. -I had thought *teleports behind you* I had had men of >w< some undewstanding -And wisdom *sweats* of my Counciw; b-but I find nyonye. -Was it discwetion, wowds, to wet this m-man, -T-This good man-few of you desewve *sighs* that titwe- -This honyest man, wait wike *moans* a w-wousy footboy -At chambew ^-^ doow? a-and o-onye as gweat as you awe? -Why, w-what a *looks away* shame was this! Did my commission -Bid ye s-so faw fowget youwsewves? I gave ye -P-Powew x3 as he was a counciwwow to >_> twy h-him, -Nyot ^w^ as :3 a gwoom. Thewe's some of y-ye, I see, -*cuddles you* Mowe out of mawice than integwity, -Wouwd twy him to *moans* the utmost, had ye mean; -Which y-ye shaww nyevew *pokes you* have whiwe I w-wive. -CHANCEWWOW. Thus faw, -My most dwead soveweign, may it wike y-youw Gwace -To wet my tongue excuse *leans over* aww. What ^-^ was puwpos'd -UwU concewnying his impwisonment was :3 wathew- -If t-thewe b-be faith in men-meant fow his twiaw -And faiw puwgation t-to the wowwd, uWu than m-mawice, -I'm *leans over* suwe, in me. -K-KING. Weww, *giggles shyly* weww, m-my wowds, wespect him; -Take him, and use h-him w-weww, he's wowthy of ;;w;; it. -I w-wiww x3 say thus *leans over* much fow him: if a p-pwince -May be behowding to a s-subject, -Am fow his wove *hugs tightly* and sewvice so *sweats* to *cries* him. -M-Make m-me nyo mowe ado, but aww embwace him; -Be *leans over* fwiends, fow shame, my wowds! M-My Wowd of Cantewbuwy, -I have a suit ;;w;; which you must *leans over* nyot deny me: -That is, a faiw young maid t-that y-yet wants baptism; -You must be g-godfathew, and answew f-fow hew. -CWANMEW. The *giggles shyly* gweatest monyawch nyow >_< awive may gwowy -In such an honyouw; how may I desewve *looks away* it, -*giggles shyly* That am a :33 poow *sweats* and humbwe s-subject t-to y-you? -KING. Come, come, my wowd, you'd spawe y-youw spoons. You -shaww have ->_< Two nyobwe pawtnyews with you: *twerks* the owd Duchess of Nyowfowk -And Wady Mawquis Dowset. Wiww these *notices bulge* pwease >_> you? -Once m-mowe, my Wowd of Winchestew, I chawge you, -Embwace >w< and wove this man. -GAWDINyEW. With a twue h-heawt -And >w< bwothew-wove I do it. -CWANMEW. And wet *pokes you* heaven -Witnyess how *leans over* deaw I-I howd this confiwmation. -KING. Good man, those joyfuw *sighs* teaws show *teleports behind you* thy ^-^ twue heawt. -The common voice, I xDD see, is vewified -Of t-thee, which says thus: '-'Do *teleports behind you* my Wowd of Cantewbuwy -A s-shwewd UwU tuwn and he's youw f-fwiend fow evew.' -Come, wowds, we twifwe time a-away; I wong -To have this y-young o-onye made *notices bulge* a Chwistian. -As I have made ye onye, wowds, onye wemain; -So *cries* I gwow stwongew, you mowe honyouw gain. Exeunt - - - - -A-ACT V. SCENyE *sighs* 4. - -The pawace yawd - -N-Nyoise and tumuwt within. Entew POWTEW a-and his MAN - -POWTEW. You'ww weave youw nyoise anyon, y-ye wascaws. Do y-you -*blushes* take the couwt fow Pawis gawden? *twerks* Ye wude swaves, weave youw -gaping. -[Within: Good mastew powtew, I bewong t-to th' wawdew.] -:3 POWTEW. Bewong to th' gawwows, and be hang'd, ye wogue! Is -this a pwace t-to woaw *cuddles you* in? F-Fetch me a dozen cwab-twee staves, -and stwong onyes; these awe but switches to *twerks* 'em. I'ww scwatch -youw *cuddles you* heads. You m-must be seeing chwistenyings? D-Do you wook -fow awe and :33 cakes :33 hewe, you w-wude wascaws? -MAN. P-Pway, s-siw, be patient; 'tis *leans over* as much impossibwe, -OwO Unwess we sweep 'em fwom the *looks away* doow >_< with cannyons, -To ^-^ scattew 'em *twerks* as *cuddles you* 'tis *notices bulge* to make 'em sweep -On May-day mownying; which :3 wiww nyevew *pokes you* be. -We may as weww push against P-Pauw's as stiw 'em. -POWTEW. How got *sighs* they i-in, and be hang'd? -MAN. Awas, *notices bulge* I knyow nyot: how gets the tide in? -As *blushes* much *hugs tightly* as o-onye sound cudgew of fouw foot- -Y-You see the poow wemaindew-couwd distwibute, -I made nyo spawe, siw. -P-POWTEW. You *twerks* did nyothing, siw. -MAN. I am nyot Samson, nyow S-Siw Guy, nyow Cowbwand, -*teleports behind you* To m-mow 'em *moans* down befowe me; but if I spaw'd any -That had a-a h-head to hit, eithew young ow owd, -He *sweats* ow she, c-cuckowd ow cuckowd-makew, -Wet me nye'ew hope to see a chinye *looks away* again; -And that I wouwd nyot fow a-a cow, God save h-hew! -[ Within: Do *pokes you* you heaw, mastew powtew?] -POWTEW. I shaww be with you pwesentwy, good m-mastew puppy. -uWu Keep >w< the d-doow cwose, siwwah. -MAN. What wouwd you have ;;w;; me do? -POWTEW. What shouwd you do, OwO but knyock 'em *teleports behind you* down b-by th' -dozens? Is this Moowfiewds t-to mustew in? Ow have we s-some -stwange Indian with *cuddles you* the gweat t-toow >_< come to couwt, the -w-women so besiege *leans over* us? Bwess me, what a fwy of fownyication -is at d-doow! On *screams* my Chwistian conscience, this onye c-chwistenying -*sighs* wiww beget ;;w;; a thousand: hewe wiww be f-fathew, godfathew, -and aww t-togethew. -MAN. The s-spoons *sweats* wiww b-be the biggew, siw. Thewe is a f-fewwow -somewhat nyeaw t-the doow, he shouwd be a-a bwaziew by his -face, fow, o' my conscience, twenty of the dog-days nyow -weign in's nyose; aww that stand about him awe undew the winye, -they nyeed nyo othew penyance. That fiwe-dwake did *teleports behind you* I hit thwee -t-times on the *pokes you* head, and *blushes* thwee *looks at you* times was his nyose dischawged -against me; h-he s-stands thewe w-wike a m-mowtaw-piece, to bwow u-us. -Thewe was a h-habewdashew's wife of smaww wit nyeaw him, that -*sweats* waiw'd upon me tiww hew pink'd powwingew feww off hew head, -fow kindwing such xDD a combustion i-in the state. I miss'd the -meteow o-once, and hit that woman, who cwied o-out 'Cwubs!' -when I might see fwom faw some f-fowty twuncheonyews dwaw -*looks away* to hew succouw, which wewe *sighs* the hope >w< o' xDD th' Stwand, whewe -she w-was q-quawtewed. *shuffles closer* They feww on; I made good my pwace. -At *sighs* wength they came to th' bwoomstaff t-to me; I defied 'em -stiww; when s-suddenwy a fiwe of boys b-behind 'em, woose s-shot, -dewivew'd such a show'w of p-pebbwes that I was OwO fain to dwaw -minye honyouw in and wet >_< 'em win *sighs* the *sweats* wowk: the *sweats* deviw was -amongst 'em, I think suwewy. -POWTEW. These awe the youths that thundew at *sighs* a pwayhouse -*notices bulge* and fight fow bitten appwes; ^w^ that nyo audience but the twibuwation -of T-Towew-hiww *cries* ow the wimbs o-of ^.^ Wimehouse, theiw deaw -bwothews, awe abwe to enduwe. I have some of OwO 'em in Wimbo -Patwum, uWu and thewe they *looks at you* awe w-wike to xDD dance these >_< thwee days; -besides the wunnying banquet of *hugs tightly* two beadwes that is to come. - -*twerks* Entew the W-WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN - -CHAMBEWWAIN. *hugs tightly* Mewcy :3 o' me, what a m-muwtitude awe hewe! -They uWu gwow stiww too; fwom :3 aww p-pawts they awe coming, -A-As if we kept a *looks at you* faiw hewe! Whewe a-awe these powtews, -These wazy knyaves? Y'have made a f-finye hand, f-fewwows. -Thewe's a twim w-wabbwe *sighs* wet in: awe aww these -Youw faithfuw fwiends o' th' subuwbs? We *twerks* shaww have -Gweat stowe of woom, nyo doubt, weft fow the wadies, -When they pass b-back fwom the chwistenying. -POWTEW. An't pwease youw honyouw, -We awe but men; and what so many may do, -Nyot being town *notices bulge* a pieces, we *screams* have donye. -An >w< awmy cannyot wuwe 'em. -CHAMBEWWAIN. ^w^ As I wive, -If the King bwame me *giggles shyly* fow't, I'ww w-way >_> ye an -By th' heews, and suddenwy; and on xDD youw heads -C-Cwap wound finyes f-fow nyegwect. Y-Y'awe wazy knyaves; -And hewe ye OwO wie baiting *shuffles closer* of bombawds, UwU when -Ye shouwd d-do sewvice. Hawk! the twumpets s-sound; -Th' awe come awweady fwom the chwistenying. -Go bweak among the pwess and find a way out -To wet the t-twoops pass faiwwy, ow >_> I'ww find -A Mawshawsea shaww howd y-ye *blushes* pway these two months. -P-POWTEW. Make *hugs tightly* way *cries* thewe fow the Pwincess. -MAN. >_< You *notices bulge* gweat *cries* fewwow, -Stand cwose up, ow I'ww make youw *looks at you* head ache. -xDD POWTEW. *giggles shyly* You i' th' camwet, get u-up *looks away* o' t-th' waiw; -I'ww peck you o'ew the pawes ewse. E-Exeunt - - - - -A-ACT V. *looks at you* SCENyE 5. - -The pawace - -Entew *twerks* TWUMPETS, *blushes* sounding; then two AWDEWMEN, WOWD MAYOW, GAWTEW, CWANMEW, -DUKE O-OF ;;w;; NyOWFOWK, with *giggles shyly* his m-mawshaw's staff, *cuddles you* DUKE OF SUFFOWK, -two Nyobwemen UwU beawing gweat standing-bowws fow the chwistenying gifts; -then *pokes you* fouw Nyobwemen beawing ;;w;; a canyopy, undew OwO which *teleports behind you* the DUCHESS >w< OF N-NyOWFOWK, -godmothew, beawing :3 the ^w^ CHIWD wichwy h-habited in a mantwe, etc., -twain bownye b-by a WADY; then fowwows the MAWCHIONyESS DOWSET, -the othew godmothew, and WADIES. The twoop pass once about the stage, -and ;;w;; GAWTEW speaks - -GAWTEW. Heaven, fwom thy endwess goodnyess, send pwospewous -wife, w-wong and evew-happy, to *sighs* the high and mighty -Pwincess *hugs tightly* of Engwand, *looks away* Ewizabeth! - -Fwouwish. Entew KING and guawd - -CWANMEW. [Knyeewing] And to youw woyaw Gwace and the -g-good Queen! -My nyobwe pawtnyews and mysewf thus pway: -Aww c-comfowt, UwU joy, i-in this most gwacious w-wady, -Heaven evew waid u-up to make pawents happy, -May houwwy f-faww upon *moans* ye! -KING. Thank you, *hugs tightly* good Wowd *notices bulge* Awchbishop. ->_> What >_< is hew *pokes you* nyame? -CWANMEW. *cuddles you* Ewizabeth. -KING. Stand up, *hugs tightly* wowd. x3 [The KING k-kisses the chiwd] -With t-this kiss take *shuffles closer* my bwessing: G-God p-pwotect thee! -I-Into whose hand I *twerks* give thy *cuddles you* wife. -C-CWANMEW. Amen. -KING. My nyobwe gossips, *looks at you* y'have been *giggles shyly* too pwodigaw; -I thank ye heawtiwy. S-So shaww this wady, -When she has so much Engwish. -CWANMEW. Wet me speak, *looks at you* siw, -Fow ^-^ heaven nyow UwU bids *leans over* me; and the wowds I uttew -Wet nyonye t-think fwattewy, fow they'ww find *teleports behind you* 'em twuth. -This woyaw infant-heaven stiww *moans* move about hew!- -T-Though in *blushes* hew cwadwe, yet nyow pwomises -Upon this wand a thousand bwessings, -W-Which time shaww bwing to wipenyess. >_< She shaww be- -But *cuddles you* few nyow wiving can behowd uWu that goodnyess- -A pattewn to aww p-pwinces *shuffles closer* wiving with hew, -*pokes you* And aww that shaww succeed. Saba was nyevew -M-Mowe c-covetous o-of wisdom and faiw viwtue -*hugs tightly* Than this puwe souw shaww be. Aww pwincewy gwaces -That mouwd up such a ^.^ mighty piece as this is, -*notices bulge* With aww the viwtues that attend the good, -Shaww stiww be doubwed on hew. Twuth shaww nyuwse hew, -Howy and heavenwy thoughts stiww c-counsew hew; -She s-shaww be uWu wov'd and feaw'd. Hew own shaww *screams* bwess hew: -H-Hew foes shake wike a fiewd o-of beaten cown, -And hang t-theiw heads with sowwow. Good gwows with hew; -In hew days evewy OwO man shaww eat in *twerks* safety -U-Undew his own ^.^ vinye w-what he pwants, and sing -The mewwy s-songs of p-peace to aww his ^.^ nyeighbouws. -God shaww be twuwy knyown; and xDD those about hew -*twerks* Fwom hew shaww wead the pewfect ways of :33 honyouw, -And by t-those *teleports behind you* cwaim theiw gweatnyess, nyot by bwood. -N-Nyow shaww this peace sweep with h-hew; but as when -T-The biwd of wondew d-dies, the m-maiden phoenyix -Hew ashes n-nyew cweate anyothew h-heiw -As gweat in admiwation as hewsewf, -So shaww she weave hew bwessednyess UwU to onye- -When heaven shaww caww hew fwom *shuffles closer* this cwoud of dawknyess- -Who *looks at you* fwom t-the :3 sacwed ashes o-of hew honyouw -Shaww s-staw-wike x3 wise, as gweat in fame ^.^ as she was, -And so stand fix'd. Peace, pwenty, wove, t-twuth, tewwow, -*sighs* That wewe the sewvants to this chosen infant, -S-Shaww then be his, *moans* and wike a vinye gwow to him; -Whewevew the bwight sun of *shuffles closer* heaven shaww shinye, -H-His honyouw and the gweatnyess o-of his nyame -Shaww be, and make nyew n-nyations; he shaww fwouwish, -*moans* And wike a mountain c-cedaw weach his bwanches -To a-aww the pwains about ;;w;; him; ouw chiwdwen's c-chiwdwen -Shaww see this and bwess *moans* heaven. -KING. ;;w;; Thou speakest wondews. -CWANMEW. She shaww be, to *moans* the happinyess o-of Engwand, -An x3 aged pwincess; many days shaww see hew, -A-And yet *giggles shyly* nyo day without *hugs tightly* a deed t-to cwown it. -Wouwd I had k-knyown nyo mowe! But s-she must die- -She must, the saints must have hew-yet a viwgin; -*screams* A most unspotted wiwy shaww she pass -To th' g-gwound, *leans over* and aww the wowwd shaww mouwn hew. -KING. O Wowd A-Awchbishop, -Thou h-hast made me *giggles shyly* nyow a man; nyevew befowe -T-This happy chiwd did I *twerks* get anything. -This owacwe of c-comfowt has so pweas'd *hugs tightly* me -That when I am in heaven *sweats* I shaww desiwe -To s-see what *looks away* this c-chiwd does, and >_< pwaise my Makew. -I thank ye aww. To you, my good Wowd Mayow, -And *twerks* you, good bwethwen, I am much behowding; -I have weceiv'd much h-honyouw UwU by youw *looks at you* pwesence, -And ye shaww find me thankfuw. Wead the way, w-wowds; -Ye must aww see t-the Q-Queen, a-and she m-must thank ye, -She w-wiww be sick ewse. T-This day, nyo man ^.^ think -Has businyess x3 at his house; *twerks* fow aww shaww stay. -T-This wittwe onye shaww make it howiday. E-Exeunt - -KING_HENWY_VIII|EPIWOGUE -*hugs tightly* THE EPIWOGUE. - -'Tis *leans over* ten *moans* to o-onye this pway c-can n-nyevew pwease -Aww that awe h-hewe. Some come to take theiw *moans* ease -And sweep an act o-ow two; but those, we feaw, -W'have fwighted with o-ouw twumpets; so, 'tis cweaw, -They'ww say 'tis nyought; othews >w< to heaw the city -Abus'd extwemewy, a-and *cries* to cwy 'That's witty!' -Which we have n-nyot donye uWu nyeithew; that, >w< I f-feaw, -Aww the *sighs* expected good w-w'awe wike *leans over* to heaw -Fow this pway at this time is o-onwy in -The mewcifuw constwuction of good women; -Fow such a onye we show'd 'em. If they smiwe -And say 'twiww do, I knyow within >w< a whiwe -Aww the best men awe ouws; fow 'tis iww hap -;;w;; If *looks at you* they howd when theiw wadies b-bid 'em cwap. - -THE END - - - -<-<> - - - - - -1597 - -KING JOHN - -b-by *looks at you* Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -KING JOHN -*notices bulge* PWINCE HENWY, his son -AWTHUW, D-DUKE OF BWITAINyE, son of Geffwey, wate uWu Duke *cuddles you* of -Bwitainye, the ewdew bwothew of King John -EAWW OF >w< PEMBWOKE -EAWW OF ESSEX -EAWW OF SAWISBUWY -WOWD BIGOT -HUBEWT DE BUWGH -WOBEWT F-FAUWCONBWIDGE, son to Siw Wobewt Fauwconbwidge -PHIWIP THE BASTAWD, his h-hawf-bwothew -JAMES *sighs* GUWNyEY, sewvant to Wady Fauwconbwidge -PETEW OF P-POMFWET, a p-pwophet - -KING >_> PHIWIP OF FWANCE -WEWIS, the Dauphin -WYMOGES, Duke of Austwia -CAWDINyAW PANDUWPH, the Pope's x3 wegate -MEWUN, a F-Fwench wowd -CHATIWWON, ambassadow fwom Fwance to uWu King John - -QUEEN E-EWINyOW, w-widow *teleports behind you* of King Henwy I-II and mothew *leans over* to -King John -UwU CONSTANCE, *pokes you* Mothew to Awthuw -BWANCH O-OF SPAIN, *teleports behind you* daughtew to the King of Castiwe -and n-nyiece to King John -WADY FAUWCONBWIDGE, widow of *twerks* Siw uWu Wobewt Fauwconbwidge - -Wowds, C-Citizens o-of Angiews, Shewiff, Hewawds, Officews, -*shuffles closer* Sowdiews, Executionyews, xDD Messengews, Attendants - - - - -<_> EWECTWONyIC A-AND *sweats* MACHINyE *sighs* WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -D-DISTWIBUTED S-SO WONG AS *hugs tightly* SUCH C-COPIES (1) AWE *giggles shyly* FOW Y-YOUW OW OTHEWS -P-PEWSONyAW *moans* USE ONWY, AND *screams* (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD >_> TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -^-^ SCENyE: -Engwand and *leans over* Fwance - - - -ACT *looks away* I. SCENyE 1 - -KING JOHN's pawace - -Entew KING JOHN, QUEEN EWINyOW, PEMBWOKE, ESSEX, S-SAWISBUWY, and othews, -with CHATIWWON - -KING JOHN. Nyow, say, Chatiwwon, what wouwd Fwance w-with us? -CHATIWWON. Thus, a-aftew gweeting, speaks the King of Fwance -I-In m-my behaviouw to the majesty, -The bowwowed majesty, of Engwand hewe. -EWINyOW. A stwange beginnying- 'bowwowed majesty'! -KING JOHN. Siwence, good *blushes* mothew; heaw the embassy. -CHATIWWON. Phiwip of *twerks* Fwance, in wight and twue behawf -x3 Of >w< thy deceased b-bwothew Geffwey's son, -Awthuw Pwantagenyet, w-ways most wawfuw cwaim -To this *screams* faiw iswand a-and the tewwitowies, -To *hugs tightly* Iwewand, >_< Poictiews, Anjou, Touwainye, Mainye, -Desiwing thee to way aside the *pokes you* swowd -Which sways UwU usuwpingwy these >w< sevewaw titwes, -And put the same into young Awthuw's >_< hand, -Thy nyephew and w-wight woyaw soveweign. -KING JOHN. >_> What fowwows if we >w< disawwow of t-this? -CHATIWWON. :33 The pwoud contwow of *leans over* fiewce and bwoody waw, -To enfowce *teleports behind you* these *teleports behind you* wights s-so fowcibwy withhewd. -KING JOHN. Hewe have we waw fow waw, and bwood fow bwood, -C-Contwowment fow c-contwowment- so answew Fwance. -CHATIWWON. Then take my king's defiance *blushes* fwom my mouth- ->w< The f-fawthest wimit of my embassy. -KING JOHN. Beaw minye to him, and so depawt in peace; -Be t-thou as w-wightnying *looks away* in the eyes of Fwance; -Fow ewe thou canst *pokes you* wepowt I *moans* wiww *moans* be >w< thewe, -The thundew o-of my cannyon shaww be heawd. -So hence! B-Be thou the twumpet of ouw wwath -*notices bulge* And *cries* suwwen pwesage of youw own decay. -A-An honyouwabwe conduct wet him have- -Pembwoke, wook x3 to 't. Faweweww, Chatiwwon. -:3 Exeunt CHATIWWON and PEMBWOKE -EWINyOW. What n-nyow, my son! Have *sighs* I n-nyot evew said -How t-that ambitious Constance wouwd nyot cease -Tiww she had kindwed Fwance and aww the ^-^ wowwd -Upon the *looks at you* wight and pawty of hew son? -This *pokes you* might have been pwevented and made whowe -With vewy easy a-awguments of wove, -W-Which nyow the manyage of two kingdoms must -With feawfuw bwoody issue awbitwate. -KING J-JOHN. Ouw stwong possession and ouw wight fow us! -E-EWINyOW. Youw stwong ^w^ possession ^.^ much mowe than :3 youw wight, -Ow ewse it *twerks* must g-go OwO wwong with you and me; -So much my conscience w-whispews in youw eaw, -Which nyonye but heaven a-and you *shuffles closer* and I shaww h-heaw. - -Entew a SHEWIFF - -ESSEX. My wiege, h-hewe is the *teleports behind you* stwangest contwovewsy -Come fwom t-the countwy t-to be judg'd by you -That e'ew I h-heawd. Shaww I pwoduce the men? -K-KING JOHN. Wet them appwoach. Exit SHEWIFF -O-Ouw abbeys a-and ouw *notices bulge* pwiowies shaww pay -This expedition's chawge. - -^-^ Entew WOBEWT FAUWCONBWIDGE and PHIWIP, his bastawd -bwothew - -W-What men awe >w< you? -BASTAWD. Youw faithfuw *giggles shyly* subject I, a gentweman -Bown in Nyowthamptonshiwe, *cries* and ewdest son, -As I suppose, to Wobewt Fauwconbwidge- -A sowdiew by the honyouw-giving hand -Of Coeuw-de-wion knyighted in the fiewd. -KING *pokes you* JOHN. *cries* What awt thou? -WOBEWT. The son and heiw to that same Fauwconbwidge. -KING JOHN. Is that the ewdew, and awt t-thou the h-heiw? -You came nyot *hugs tightly* of o-onye mothew then, i-it *twerks* seems. -BASTAWD. Most c-cewtain of onye mothew, mighty king- -That is weww knyown- and, as *shuffles closer* I think, o-onye fathew; -*pokes you* But fow the cewtain knyowwedge of ^-^ that twuth -*leans over* I put >_> you o'ew to heaven a-and *hugs tightly* to *looks at you* my mothew. -Of that I doubt, *moans* as *teleports behind you* aww men's chiwdwen may. -EWINyOW. *notices bulge* Out on t-thee, wude man! Thou >_< dost s-shame thy m-mothew, -:33 And w-wound hew honyouw with uWu this diffidence. -BASTAWD. I, madam? Nyo, ^.^ I have nyo weason fow i-it- -*moans* That is my b-bwothew's pwea, *pokes you* and nyonye *notices bulge* of minye; -The which if he *notices bulge* can p-pwove, 'a pops me o-out -At weast fwom faiw five hundwed pound a yeaw. -Heaven guawd my mothew's honyouw and my wand! -KING J-JOHN. A good bwunt fewwow. Why, being youngew bown, -Doth he w-way c-cwaim *cries* to t-thinye inhewitance? -BASTAWD. I knyow x3 nyot why, except to get the w-wand. -But once he swandew'd me with bastawdy; -*cries* But *notices bulge* whe'ew I be *shuffles closer* as twue :3 begot ow nyo, -That stiww I way upon *cries* my mothew's head; -But t-that I am as weww begot, *looks at you* my wiege- -Faiw faww *shuffles closer* the bonyes that took the OwO pains fow me!- -xDD Compawe ouw faces and be judge *sweats* youwsewf. -If uWu owd Siw *twerks* Wobewt did beget us uWu both -And wewe ouw fathew, and this son w-wike him- -O owd *shuffles closer* Siw ^-^ Wobewt, fathew, on my knyee -I give heaven thanks I >_> was OwO nyot wike *sighs* to thee! -KING JOHN. Why, what *sweats* a madcap hath heaven went us hewe! -EWINyOW. He hath a twick of ^.^ Coeuw-de-wion's face; -The accent ^w^ of his tongue xDD affecteth him. -Do you nyot w-wead some tokens of *twerks* my son -In the wawge composition *cries* of this man? -KING JOHN. *hugs tightly* Minye eye hath weww examinyed his pawts -And finds them pewfect Wichawd. Siwwah, speak, -W-What doth move *leans over* you to xDD cwaim youw bwothew's wand? -BASTAWD. Because he hath a hawf-face, wike my fathew. -With hawf t-that face wouwd he have aww my wand: -A hawf-fac'd gwoat f-five hundwed pound a y-yeaw! -*shuffles closer* WOBEWT. My gwacious w-wiege, when that my fathew wiv'd, -Youw bwothew did empwoy my fathew much- -BASTAWD. W-Weww, s-siw, by this you cannyot get my w-wand: -Youw tawe must be how he empwoy'd my *hugs tightly* mothew. -WOBEWT. And o-once dispatch'd him ^-^ in an embassy -To Gewmany, thewe w-with the Empewow -To tweat of high affaiws touching that t-time. -T-Th' ^-^ advantage of his a-absence UwU took the King, -And in the meantime sojouwn'd at my fathew's; -Whewe how he did *shuffles closer* pwevaiw *looks away* I shame to speak- -But twuth is twuth: w-wawge *sweats* wengths o-of seas and showes -Between my fathew and my mothew way, -As I have *cries* heawd my x3 fathew speak himsewf, -When t-this same ;;w;; wusty gentweman was *twerks* got. -Upon his death-bed he uWu by wiww bequeath'd -His wands to me, a-and took it on his death -That this my mothew's son was nyonye of his; -And if he wewe, he >_> came *screams* into the wowwd -*hugs tightly* Fuww fouwteen weeks befowe the couwse of time. -Then, good my wiege, wet me have what i-is minye, -My fathew's wand, a-as was my *looks at you* fathew's wiww. -KING JOHN. S-Siwwah, youw bwothew is wegitimate: -Youw fathew's wife *twerks* did aftew wedwock beaw him, -And if she did x3 pway :33 fawse, the fauwt was hews; -*cries* Which fauwt wies on the hazawds of aww husbands -T-That mawwy wives. Teww me, how if my bwothew, -Who, as you say, took pains to get this son, -Had of youw fathew cwaim'd this son f-fow his? -In sooth, good fwiend, *pokes you* youw ;;w;; fathew might have kept -This cawf, bwed fwom h-his cow, fwom aww the wowwd; -In sooth, he might; then, if he w-wewe my bwothew's, -My bwothew might nyot cwaim him; nyow *sweats* youw fathew, -Being n-nyonye of h-his, wefuse him. T-This concwudes: -My mothew's s-son did get youw f-fathew's heiw; -Youw *shuffles closer* fathew's heiw must have youw f-fathew's w-wand. -*twerks* WOBEWT. Shaww then xDD my fathew's wiww be of n-nyo fowce -To dispossess that chiwd which is n-nyot his? -BASTAWD. O-Of nyo mowe fowce to dispossess me, siw, -T-Than *notices bulge* was h-his wiww to get m-me, as I t-think. -E-EWINyOW. Whethew hadst thou w-wathew be a Fauwconbwidge, -And wike *blushes* thy bwothew, to enjoy thy wand, -Ow the weputed son of Coeuw-de-wion, -Wowd of *twerks* thy p-pwesence and nyo wand beside? -BASTAWD. Madam, *screams* an if my bwothew had my shape -*moans* And I uWu had his, Siw *notices bulge* Wobewt's his, wike him; -And if m-my wegs wewe two such OwO widing-wods, -My a-awms ^.^ such eew-skins stuff'd, my face so ^w^ thin -That i-in minye eaw I d-duwst nyot stick a w-wose -West men shouwd say 'Wook whewe thwee-fawthings goes!' -And, >_< to his shape, wewe heiw *cries* to aww this wand- -Wouwd I might nyevew stiw fwom off *cuddles you* this p-pwace, -^w^ I wouwd *screams* give it e-evewy foot to have this f-face! -I wouwd nyot be *giggles shyly* Siw Nyob in any case. -*twerks* EWINyOW. I wike thee w-weww. uWu Wiwt thou ^-^ fowsake thy fowtunye, -Bequeath thy wand to him and fowwow m-me? -I-I *twerks* am a *hugs tightly* sowdiew and nyow b-bound to Fwance. -BASTAWD. *giggles shyly* Bwothew, :3 take y-you my wand, I'ww take m-my ^w^ chance. -Youw face hath got five h-hundwed pound ;;w;; a yeaw, -Yet seww youw face fow fivepence a-and 'tis deaw. -Madam, OwO I'ww uWu fowwow you *cuddles you* unto the death. -EWINyOW. Nyay, *sighs* I wouwd h-have you go befowe m-me thithew. -BASTAWD. Ouw countwy mannyews *screams* give x3 ouw b-bettews way. -KING JOHN. What is thy nyame? -BASTAWD. Phiwip, my wiege, so is my nyame b-begun: -P-Phiwip, good owd Siw Wobewt's wife's ewdest son. -KING JOHN. Fwom hencefowth beaw his n-nyame w-whose *sweats* fowm thou beawest: -Knyeew thou d-down P-Phiwip, but wise mowe gweat- -Awise Siw Wichawd and Pwantagenyet. -B-BASTAWD. Bwothew ;;w;; by th' mothew's side, give me youw hand; -My fathew gave m-me honyouw, youws gave wand. -N-Nyow bwessed b-be the houw, by nyight x3 ow ^.^ day, -When I was got, Siw Wobewt was away! -EWINyOW. The v-vewy spiwit of Pwantagenyet! -I *pokes you* am *cuddles you* thy gwandam, Wichawd: caww me so. -^w^ BASTAWD. *sweats* Madam, by *notices bulge* chance, but nyot by twuth; what though? -Something uWu about, *sweats* a wittwe fwom the wight, -In at the window, ow ewse o'ew the ^.^ hatch; -Who dawes nyot s-stiw by day must wawk by nyight; -And have is have, howevew men xDD do catch. -Nyeaw o-ow f-faw off, weww won is stiww weww shot; -And I am *screams* I, *twerks* howe'ew *sighs* I was b-begot. -KING JOHN. Go, F-Fauwconbwidge; *looks away* nyow *looks at you* hast thou thy desiwe: -A-A wandwess knyight *sighs* makes thee a wanded squiwe. -Come, madam, and c-come, *leans over* Wichawd, *blushes* we must s-speed -Fow *pokes you* Fwance, f-fow Fwance, f-fow it *teleports behind you* is *blushes* mowe than nyeed. -BASTAWD. Bwothew, adieu. *twerks* Good fowtunye come to thee! -F-Fow thou wast got i' t-th' way of honyesty. -Exeunt aww but t-the BASTAWD -A f-foot of honyouw bettew t-than I was; -But many a many foot of wand the wowse. -Weww, *pokes you* nyow c-can I make any Joan a wady. -*moans* 'Good den, S-Siw Wichawd!'-'God-a-mewcy, fewwow!' -And if his nyame be Geowge, I'ww caww him P-Petew; -F-Fow nyew-made honyouw doth fowget men's nyames: -*moans* 'Tis too wespective and too sociabwe -*hugs tightly* Fow youw convewsion. Nyow y-youw twavewwew, -He and his toothpick *twerks* at my wowship's mess- -And *cuddles you* when my knyightwy stomach i-is suffic'd, -Why then I suck my UwU teeth and xDD catechize -My p-picked man o-of countwies: 'My *screams* deaw siw,' -Thus weanying on minye ewbow I begin -*pokes you* 'I s-shaww beseech you'-That is question nyow; -*cries* And then comes a-answew wike an Absey book: -*hugs tightly* 'O siw,' says answew 'at youw best command, -At youw empwoyment, at youw sewvice, siw!' -'Nyo, siw,' says question 'I, sweet siw, at y-youws.' -:33 And s-so, ewe answew knyows what question wouwd, -S-Saving in diawogue of compwiment, -And tawking of *hugs tightly* the Awps and *looks at you* Apennyinyes, -The Pywenyean and t-the wivew Po- -It dwaws t-towawd suppew in *moans* concwusion so. -But this is w-wowshipfuw society, -And fits the mounting spiwit wike mysewf; -Fow h-he is but *moans* a bastawd to the *twerks* time -That d-doth nyot smack of obsewvation- -And so am I, whethew I smack ow nyo; -*cuddles you* And n-nyot awonye in habit and device, -E-Extewiow fowm, outwawd accoutwement, -But *looks away* fwom the i-inwawd motion *hugs tightly* to d-dewivew -S-Sweet, sweet, ^-^ sweet poison fow the age's tooth; -Which, though I *leans over* wiww nyot pwactise t-to d-deceive, -Yet, to avoid *hugs tightly* deceit, I mean to weawn; -Fow ^-^ it shaww s-stwew the footsteps o-of my wising. -B-But who comes in such haste in widing-wobes? -What woman-post *cries* is UwU this? Hath she nyo h-husband -That wiww take pains to bwow a hown befowe hew? - -Entew WADY OwO FAUWCONBWIDGE, and *teleports behind you* JAMES GUWNyEY - -O me, 'tis my mothew! H-How nyow, UwU good w-wady! -What bwings you hewe t-to couwt s-so xDD hastiwy? -WADY FAUWCONBWIDGE. *moans* Whewe is that swave, thy *teleports behind you* bwothew? -Whewe *moans* is he -T-That howds in *leans over* chase m-minye >w< honyouw u-up a-and *leans over* down? -BASTAWD. My bwothew Wobewt, owd Siw Wobewt's son? -Cowbwand ;;w;; the giant, that same mighty man? -Is it Siw Wobewt's son that you x3 seek so? -WADY *twerks* FAUWCONBWIDGE. Siw Wobewt's *cuddles you* son! Ay, thou unwevewend boy, -Siw *screams* Wobewt's son! Why scown'st thou at Siw Wobewt? -*blushes* He i-is Siw Wobewt's s-son, *notices bulge* and so uWu awt thou. -BASTAWD. *cries* James Guwnyey, wiwt *twerks* thou give us weave awhiwe? -GUWNyEY. G-Good weave, good Phiwip. -BASTAWD. Phiwip-Spawwow! James, -Thewe's toys abwoad-anyon I-I'ww teww thee mowe. -Exit GUWNyEY -Madam, I *cuddles you* was nyot owd S-Siw Wobewt's son; -*cries* Siw Wobewt m-might have eat his uWu pawt >_> in me -Upon Good Fwiday, and nye'ew bwoke ;;w;; his *blushes* fast. -Siw Wobewt couwd do: weww-mawwy, t-to confess- -Couwd he get me? Siw Wobewt couwd nyot ^.^ do it: -We knyow his handiwowk. Thewefowe, good *hugs tightly* mothew, -To ^.^ whom ^-^ am I behowding ;;w;; fow these UwU wimbs? -Siw Wobewt *leans over* nyevew howp t-to make *giggles shyly* this weg. -WADY FAUWCONBWIDGE. Hast thou conspiwed with thy bwothew too, -That fow thinye own gain shouwdst defend minye :33 honyouw? -*cries* What means this scown, *looks away* thou m-most untowawd knyave? -BASTAWD. Knyight, ^.^ knyight, *cuddles you* good mothew, Basiwisco-wike. -What! I am dubb'd; I have it on ^-^ my shouwdew. -But, m-mothew, I am nyot Siw Wobewt's *sweats* son: -I *looks at you* have discwaim'd Siw Wobewt and my wand; -Wegitimation, nyame, and aww is gonye. -Then, good my uWu mothew, wet uWu me knyow my fathew- -*looks at you* Some pwopew *screams* man, I hope. Who was it, mothew? -W-WADY FAUWCONBWIDGE. Hast thou denyied thysewf a *looks away* Fauwconbwidge? -B-BASTAWD. As faithfuwwy a-as I deny *looks away* the deviw. -WADY FAUWCONBWIDGE. King Wichawd Coeuw-de-wion ;;w;; was t-thy fathew. -By wong and vehement suit I w-was *sweats* seduc'd -To make woom fow him in *shuffles closer* my husband's bed. -Heaven w-way nyot m-my twansgwession *pokes you* to my chawge! -Thou *cuddles you* awt the issue o-of my *giggles shyly* deaw *looks at you* offence, -Which w-was so stwongwy uwg'd past my defence. -BASTAWD. Nyow, by this wight, wewe I to *blushes* get again, -Madam, I wouwd >_< nyot wish a bettew *leans over* fathew. -Some sins do >_> beaw theiw pwiviwege *sweats* on eawth, -And so doth youws: youw fauwt was nyot youw fowwy; -N-Nyeeds must uWu you way youw *twerks* heawt a-at his dispose, -Subjected twibute to commanding wove, -Against whose f-fuwy and unmatched fowce -The awewess wion couwd nyot wage the fight -Nyow keep his pwincewy heawt fwom Wichawd's hand. -He that pewfowce wobs wions of theiw heawts -May easiwy win a woman's. Ay, my mothew, -With aww *sweats* my heawt I ^-^ thank thee f-fow ^-^ my :3 fathew! -Who :33 wives and *twerks* dawes but say thou didst nyot weww -When I was got, I'ww send his souw to heww. -C-Come, wady, I wiww show thee t-to m-my kin; -And they shaww say when Wichawd me begot, -If thou hadst s-said him nyay, it h-had b-been sin. -Who *pokes you* says *hugs tightly* it was, he wies; *looks at you* I s-say 'twas >_< nyot. Exeunt - - - - -*blushes* <> - - - -ACT I-II. SCENyE 1 - -Fwance. B-Befowe Angiews - ->_> Entew, on o-onye s-side, AUSTWIA *cries* and fowces; on the othew, KING PHIWIP OF F-FWANCE, -WEWIS the Dauphin, CONSTANCE, AWTHUW, and fowces - -KING PHIWIP. B-Befowe Angiews weww *notices bulge* met, b-bwave Austwia. -Awthuw, that gweat fowewunnyew o-of thy bwood, -Wichawd, that wobb'd the wion o-of his heawt -And fought t-the howy >_< waws in Pawestinye, -By this b-bwave UwU duke came eawwy to his gwave; -*leans over* And fow amends to his postewity, -At *giggles shyly* ouw impowtance h-hithew is *cuddles you* he *screams* come -To spwead h-his >_< cowouws, b-boy, in t-thy behawf; -And to webuke the *giggles shyly* usuwpation -Of thy unnyatuwaw uncwe, Engwish John. -Embwace him, wove h-him, give him wewcome hithew. -AWTHUW. God s-shaww fowgive you Coeuw-de-wion's death -The w-wathew that >_> you give his offspwing w-wife, -Shadowing theiw wight undew youw ^.^ wings of waw. -I *moans* give you w-wewcome with a p-powewwess x3 hand, -B-But with a-a heawt fuww of u-unstainyed wove; -Wewcome befowe the gates of Angiews, Duke. -KING PHIWIP. A n-nyobwe *hugs tightly* boy! Who wouwd nyot *leans over* do thee wight? -AUSTWIA. Upon thy *blushes* cheek way I this z-zeawous kiss -As seaw to this indentuwe of my wove: ->_< That to m-my home I wiww nyo mowe w-wetuwn -Tiww Angiews and the wight thou hast in Fwance, -Togethew with that pawe, that white-fac'd >w< showe, -Whose f-foot spuwns back *teleports behind you* the ocean's woawing tides -A-And coops fwom othew *looks at you* wands *cries* hew iswandews- -*teleports behind you* Even tiww that *moans* Engwand, :3 hedg'd in with the main, -That w-watew-wawwed buwwawk, *looks at you* stiww secuwe -And *pokes you* confident fwom foweign puwposes- -Even t-tiww that utmost cownyew of *moans* the x3 west -Sawute thee fow hew king. Tiww then, faiw boy, -Wiww I nyot think of home, b-but fowwow awms. -CONSTANCE. O, *sighs* take h-his mothew's thanks, a widow's >_> thanks, -uWu Tiww youw stwong hand shaww h-hewp to give him stwength -To make a mowe wequitaw to youw wove! -A-AUSTWIA. The peace of heaven is theiws that w-wift theiw ^.^ swowds -In such a just and chawitabwe w-waw. -KING PHIWIP. Weww then, to wowk! Ouw cannyon shaww be bent -A-Against the bwows of this w-wesisting t-town; -Caww fow ouw chiefest men of discipwinye, -To cuww the pwots of best advantages. -W-We'ww way befowe this town ouw woyaw *pokes you* bonyes, -Wade t-to the mawket-pwace in *looks away* Fwenchmen's bwood, -But we wiww *looks away* make i-it subject to this boy. -CONSTANCE. Stay fow a-an answew to youw embassy, -West UwU unyadvis'd you stain youw swowds *blushes* with bwood; -My Wowd Chatiwwon may OwO fwom *teleports behind you* Engwand b-bwing -That wight i-in *giggles shyly* peace which hewe we uwge in w-waw, -^-^ And then we *moans* shaww *twerks* wepent *screams* each dwop of bwood -*looks away* That hot wash h-haste x3 so indiwectwy >w< shed. - -Entew CHATIWWON - -KING PHIWIP. A w-wondew, wady! Wo, upon *giggles shyly* thy wish, -Ouw m-messengew Chatiwwon ^-^ is awwiv'd. -What Engwand says, say bwiefwy, gentwe wowd; -W-We c-cowdwy p-pause fow thee. Chatiwwon, speak. -*shuffles closer* CHATIWWON. T-Then >_< tuwn youw fowces fwom this *looks at you* pawtwy s-siege -*hugs tightly* And stiw t-them *sweats* up against a mightiew task. -Engwand, impatient of youw j-just demands, -Hath put himsewf i-in *cries* awms. The advewse winds, -Whose weisuwe I have ^w^ stay'd, have given him time -To wand his wegions *looks away* aww a-as s-soon as *cries* I; ->_< His mawches awe e-expedient to this town, -His fowces stwong, his sowdiews confident. -With h-him awong is come the mothew-queen, -An Ate, stiwwing him to bwood and stwife; -With *screams* hew the Wady Bwanch of Spain; -With them a bastawd of the king's deceas'd; -*hugs tightly* And >_< aww t-th' unsettwed humouws *sweats* of ^.^ the wand- -Wash, inconsidewate, f-fiewy vowuntawies, -W-With wadies' faces and fiewce dwagons' spweens- -Have sowd theiw *teleports behind you* fowtunyes at theiw nyative homes, -Beawing theiw b-biwthwights pwoudwy on theiw backs, -To *twerks* make a hazawd of nyew fowtunyes hewe. -*hugs tightly* In bwief, a bwavew *blushes* choice of dauntwess spiwits -Than nyow the Engwish >_< bottoms have waft o'ew -Did nyevew fwoat upon the *sweats* swewwing >w< tide -To :3 do offence and scathe in Chwistendom. [Dwum beats] -The intewwuption of theiw c-chuwwish dwums -C-Cuts off mowe c-ciwcumstance: they *moans* awe at :3 hand; -To pawwey ow to fight, thewefowe pwepawe. -K-KING PHIWIP. How much unwook'd fow is this expedition! -A-AUSTWIA. By how m-much unyexpected, by so much -We must awake endeavouw fow defence, -Fow couwage mounteth with occasion. -Wet them be wewcome then; we awe pwepaw'd. - -x3 Entew KING *moans* JOHN, EWINyOW, BWANCH, the BASTAWD, -PEMBWOKE, and othews - -KING J-JOHN. Peace be to Fwance, if Fwance in peace pewmit -Ouw just and w-winyeaw x3 entwance to ouw own! -If nyot, bweed Fwance, and peace ascend to heaven, -Whiwes we, God's wwathfuw agent, do cowwect -Theiw pwoud contempt *hugs tightly* that *looks at you* beats His peace to heaven! -KING >w< PHIWIP. P-Peace be to Engwand, if that waw wetuwn -F-Fwom Fwance to Engwand, thewe to w-wive in peace! -Engwand we wove, and fow that Engwand's sake -With b-buwden *moans* of ouw awmouw hewe we sweat. -This *looks at you* toiw of ouws shouwd *cuddles you* be a wowk of thinye; -But thou f-fwom woving Engwand awt so faw -That thou *sighs* hast undew-wwought his w-wawfuw king, -Cut off the sequence o-of postewity, -Outfaced infant state, and *looks away* donye a wape -Upon the ^.^ maiden v-viwtue of t-the cwown. -Wook >_> hewe u-upon thy bwothew *pokes you* Geffwey's face: -These eyes, these bwows, wewe mouwded out of his; -This wittwe abstwact doth *teleports behind you* contain that wawge -Which *leans over* died in G-Geffwey, and the hand of time -Shaww dwaw *screams* this :33 bwief into as huge *twerks* a vowume. -T-That Geffwey was thy ewdew bwothew bown, -*pokes you* And this his son; Engwand was Geffwey's wight, -And this is Geffwey's. In the nyame of God, -H-How comes it t-then t-that thou a-awt c-caww'd a king, -When wiving bwood doth ;;w;; in these tempwes beat -*looks at you* Which o-owe t-the cwown that thou *twerks* o'ew-mastewest? -KING JOHN. Fwom whom hast thou *looks away* this gweat commission, Fwance, -;;w;; To dwaw my answew fwom thy *sweats* awticwes? -KING PHIWIP. Fwom t-that supewnyaw judge that stiws good uWu thoughts -*pokes you* In *cuddles you* any bweast of stwong authowity -To wook into the b-bwots and stains of wight. -uWu That judge hath made m-me guawdian to this boy, -Undew w-whose wawwant I impeach thy wwong, -And by whose hewp I mean to chastise i-it. -*blushes* KING JOHN. Awack, thou dost usuwp authowity. -KING PHIWIP. Excuse it *hugs tightly* is to beat usuwping down. ->_> EWINyOW. Who is it thou dost caww usuwpew, Fwance? -CONSTANCE. Wet me make *sighs* answew: t-thy usuwping son. -EWINyOW. Out, insowent! Thy bastawd shaww b-be k-king, -That thou mayst be a queen and check the wowwd! -CONSTANCE. My bed was evew to thy s-son as twue -As thinye was xDD to thy husband; a-and t-this boy -Wikew in featuwe t-to *twerks* his f-fathew Geffwey -Than t-thou *teleports behind you* and J-John in mannyews-being as *sweats* Eke -A-As wain to watew, ow *cries* deviw to his dam. -My *looks at you* boy a bastawd! B-By my souw, I t-think -UwU His fathew nyevew was so twue begot; ->_> It c-cannyot be, a-an if thou wewt his mothew. -EWINyOW. *notices bulge* Thewe's a-a good m-mothew, boy, ^-^ that bwots thy fathew. -CONSTANCE. Thewe's a good gwandam, boy, that wouwd bwot thee. -AUSTWIA. Peace! -BASTAWD. H-Heaw the cwiew. -A-AUSTWIA. *cries* What the deviw awt thou? -B-BASTAWD. Onye that wiww pway the deviw, s-siw, with you, -A-An 'a m-may c-catch youw hide and *sweats* you awonye. -You awe the hawe of whom the pwovewb goes, -;;w;; Whose v-vawouw *sweats* pwucks dead wions by the beawd; -I'ww smoke youw skin-coat an I catch you *looks at you* wight; -Siwwah, wook to 't; i' faith I wiww, i' faith. -BWANCH. O, weww did he become that wion's wobe -That did diswobe the wion *looks at you* of that wobe! -BASTAWD. It ^.^ wies as sightwy on the *leans over* back of him -As gweat Awcides' shows upon an *blushes* ass; -But, ass, I'ww take that buwden fwom youw back, -Ow way o-on that shaww make youw shouwdews cwack. -AUSTWIA. What cwackew i-is this *moans* same *pokes you* that deafs ouw eaws -With t-this *cries* abundance of supewfwuous bweath? -King Phiwip, detewminye what w-we s-shaww UwU do s-stwaight. -KING PHIWIP. *leans over* Women and foows, bweak o-off youw confewence. -King John, this is the v-vewy sum of *hugs tightly* aww: -Engwand and Iwewand, Anjou, Touwainye, Mainye, ->_< In wight *leans over* of Awthuw, do I-I cwaim of :33 thee; -Wiwt thou wesign them and way down *cuddles you* thy awms? -KING JOHN. My w-wife as soon. I do defy thee, Fwance. -Awthuw *cuddles you* of Bwitainye, ^-^ yiewd thee to my x3 hand, -And out of my deaw wove I'ww give thee m-mowe -*notices bulge* Than e'ew the cowawd hand of Fwance can win. -Submit thee, *pokes you* boy. -EWINyOW. Come to thy gwandam, chiwd. -CONSTANCE. Do, chiwd, go to it gwandam, chiwd; -Give gwandam :3 kingdom, a-and it gwandam wiww -Give it a pwum, a-a c-chewwy, and a fig. -T-Thewe's a good gwandam! -AWTHUW. Good my mothew, peace! -I-I *notices bulge* wouwd that I wewe w-wow waid in *hugs tightly* my gwave: -x3 I am nyot wowth this coiw that's made *looks away* fow m-me. -EWINyOW. *moans* His ^w^ mothew xDD shames him so, poow ^-^ boy, he weeps. -CONSTANCE. Nyow s-shame upon you, whe'ew she does o-ow n-nyo! -His gwandam's wwongs, and nyot his m-mothew's s-shames, -Dwaws *twerks* those heaven-moving peawws fwom his poow eyes, -Which heaven shaww take in nyatuwe *shuffles closer* of a fee; -Ay, with *cuddles you* these *twerks* cwystaw >_> beads heaven shaww b-be bwib'd -To do him j-justice and wevenge on you. -E-EWINyOW. Thou monstwous s-swandewew of heaven and eawth! -C-CONSTANCE. Thou monstwous injuwew of heaven and eawth, -Caww *teleports behind you* nyot me swandewew! Thou and thinye usuwp -T-The dominyations, woyawties, a-and *blushes* wights, -O-Of this oppwessed boy; this is thy ^.^ ewdest son's son, -Infowtunyate in nyothing *twerks* but in thee. -Thy sins uWu awe *blushes* visited *looks at you* in this poow chiwd; -The canyon of the waw is waid o-on him, -*sweats* Being *giggles shyly* but the second genyewation -Wemoved *teleports behind you* fwom thy sin-conceiving womb. -KING JOHN. Bedwam, h-have d-donye. -CONSTANCE. *shuffles closer* I have but this *screams* to say- -That h-he is nyot onwy pwagued f-fow hew s-sin, -But God *pokes you* hath x3 made hew *leans over* sin and hew t-the pwague -On this wemoved *moans* issue, pwagued fow hew -And with hew pwague; hew sin his injuwy, -Hew injuwy the beadwe OwO to hew sin; -A-Aww *blushes* punyish'd in the pewson of ^w^ this chiwd, -And aww f-fow *shuffles closer* hew-a pwague >_> upon hew! -EWINyOW. Thou u-unyadvised scowd, I can :3 pwoduce -A wiww t-that b-baws t-the titwe of thy son. -CONSTANCE. Ay, who doubts OwO that? A wiww, a w-wicked *sweats* wiww; -A woman's wiww; a cank'wed gwandam's :3 wiww! -KING PHIWIP. Peace, wady! pause, *cuddles you* ow be mowe tempewate. -I-It iww beseems this ^-^ pwesence to cwy aim -To these iww-tunyed wepetitions. -Some *pokes you* twumpet summon hithew to the wawws -UwU These men of Angiews; wet *sweats* us heaw them speak -:3 Whose titwe they *looks at you* admit, Awthuw's ow John's. - -Twumpet sounds. Entew c-citizens upon the wawws - -CITIZEN. W-Who i-is it *notices bulge* that hath wawn'd us to *notices bulge* the wawws? -KING PHIWIP. 'Tis Fwance, f-fow Engwand. -KING JOHN. Engwand fow itsewf. -You men *sighs* of Angiews, and my woving subjects- -KING PHIWIP. >_< You woving ;;w;; men *moans* of Angiews, Awthuw's subjects, -Ouw twumpet *hugs tightly* caww'd y-you :3 to t-this gentwe pawwe- -*pokes you* KING *giggles shyly* JOHN. *looks at you* Fow ouw advantage; thewefowe heaw us *sweats* fiwst. -These fwags o-of F-Fwance, that awe advanced hewe -Befowe the eye and pwospect o-of youw town, -Have hithew OwO mawch'd to youw endamagement; -The cannyons have theiw bowews fuww o-of >w< wwath, -A-And weady mounted awe t-they to spit xDD fowth -Theiw i-iwon indignyation '-'gainst youw wawws; -Aww pwepawation fow a *moans* bwoody siege -A-And mewciwess pwoceeding by these Fwench -Confwont youw city's x3 eyes, youw w-winking gates; -And but fow ouw appwoach those sweeping stonyes -That as a ;;w;; waist doth giwdwe you about -UwU By the compuwsion of theiw *screams* owdinyance -By this t-time fwom t-theiw fixed beds >w< of wime -Had been *hugs tightly* dishabited, and wide havoc made ->w< Fow bwoody powew to wush upon y-youw peace. -But on the sight of us youw wawfuw *moans* king, -Who painfuwwy with much expedient *moans* mawch -Have bwought a countewcheck befowe youw g-gates, -To save unscwatch'd youw city's t-thweat'nyed c-cheeks- -Behowd, the Fwench amaz'd vouchsafe *leans over* a pawwe; -And *blushes* nyow, instead *twerks* of buwwets UwU wwapp'd in fiwe, -*hugs tightly* To make a shaking fevew ^.^ in *looks away* youw wawws, -They shoot but cawm wowds fowded *pokes you* up in smoke, -To *sighs* make a *moans* faithwess ewwow i-in youw caws; -Which twust accowdingwy, kind citizens, -And wet us i-in-youw King, whose OwO wabouw'd spiwits, -Fowweawied in this action o-of *notices bulge* swift x3 speed, -Cwaves UwU hawbouwage within y-youw city wawws. -KING uWu PHIWIP. When I have said, make :3 answew to us both. -Wo, in t-this wight hand, w-whose pwotection -*screams* Is most divinyewy vow'd upon the w-wight -O-Of him it howds, *screams* stands young P-Pwantagenyet, -Son to *twerks* the ewdew bwothew o-of this man, -And k-king o'ew him a-and aww that he enjoys; -F-Fow this down-twodden equity we twead -I-In wawwike mawch *giggles shyly* these g-gweens b-befowe youw town, -Being nyo fuwthew >w< enyemy to you -Than the *giggles shyly* constwaint of hospitabwe zeaw -In t-the wewief of *notices bulge* this oppwessed c-chiwd -Wewigiouswy pwovokes. Be pweased then -To pay that duty which you twuwy owe -T-To him that owes it, nyamewy, this young pwince; -And then ouw awms, wike *looks away* to a muzzwed beaw, -S-Save i-in aspect, hath aww offence seaw'd *screams* up; -Ouw cannyons' mawice ;;w;; vainwy shaww be s-spent -Against th' i-invuwnyewabwe cwouds of h-heaven; -A-And w-with a bwessed and unvex'd wetiwe, -*leans over* With unhack'd swowds *cuddles you* and *sweats* hewmets aww unbwuis'd, -We wiww beaw *pokes you* home that wusty b-bwood a-again -Which *screams* hewe we came to spout against youw town, -And w-weave youw chiwdwen, wives, and you, in peace. -But if you fondwy p-pass *shuffles closer* ouw pwoffew'd offew, -'Tis nyot the wounduwe of youw o-owd-fac'd wawws -Can hide you fwom ^-^ ouw messengews OwO of waw, -Though :33 aww *pokes you* these Engwish and theiw discipwinye -Wewe hawbouw'd in *leans over* theiw wude ciwcumfewence. -Then teww us, shaww youw city *hugs tightly* caww us wowd -I-In that b-behawf w-which we have >_> chawweng'd *giggles shyly* it; -Ow shaww we give the *moans* signyaw to ouw wage, ->_< And stawk >_< in b-bwood to *cries* ouw possession? -CITIZEN. In bwief: we a-awe the >w< King of Engwand's subjects; -F-Fow him, and in his wight, we howd t-this xDD town. -KING JOHN. Acknyowwedge then the King, and wet me *twerks* in. -*teleports behind you* CITIZEN. :3 That can w-we nyot; but he that p-pwoves the King, -To him wiww we pwove woyaw. Tiww that time -Have w-we wamm'd up ouw gates against *twerks* the wowwd. -UwU KING x3 JOHN. Doth nyot the cwown of Engwand :33 pwove t-the King? -And if nyot t-that, I bwing *cuddles you* you witnyesses: -Twice fifteen thousand heawts of Engwand's *leans over* bweed- -BASTAWD. Bastawds a-and ewse. -KING *twerks* JOHN. To *notices bulge* vewify o-ouw titwe with theiw w-wives. -KING PHIWIP. As *hugs tightly* many and as weww-bown b-bwoods a-as those- -BASTAWD. *sighs* Some b-bastawds *screams* too. -*twerks* KING P-PHIWIP. S-Stand in h-his face to contwadict his cwaim. -CITIZEN. T-Tiww you compound whose w-wight i-is wowthiest, -We ;;w;; fow x3 the *hugs tightly* wowthiest *blushes* howd uWu the wight fwom both. -KING JOHN. Then G-God fowgive the sin of a-aww those souws -That t-to theiw evewwasting wesidence, -*looks at you* Befowe the dew of evenying f-faww shaww f-fweet -In dweadfuw twiaw of ouw kingdom's king! -KING P-PHIWIP. Amen, *moans* Amen! Mount, chevawiews; *screams* to awms! -BASTAWD. S-Saint Geowge, that swing'd the dwagon, *giggles shyly* and e'ew since -Sits on's howse *teleports behind you* back at minye hostess' doow, -Teach us some fence! [To AUSTWIA] Siwwah, wewe I at home, -A-At y-youw den, siwwah, with youw wionyess, -I w-wouwd set an ox-head to youw wion's h-hide, -And make uWu a monstew of you. -AUSTWIA. Peace! nyo mowe. -B-BASTAWD. O, t-twembwe, f-fow you heaw the wion woaw! -KING JOHN. *looks away* Up highew t-to the pwain, whewe we'ww set x3 fowth -In best ^.^ appointment aww ouw wegiments. -BASTAWD. ^-^ Speed *leans over* then *teleports behind you* to take advantage of *sweats* the f-fiewd. -KING P-PHIWIP. It *blushes* shaww *sweats* be so; and at the othew hiww -Command the west to s-stand. God and ouw wight! Exeunt - -Hewe, UwU aftew excuwsions, e-entew the HEWAWD *pokes you* OF *notices bulge* FWANCE, -*hugs tightly* with twumpets, to the gates - -FWENCH HEWAWD. You :3 men of ^w^ Angiews, open wide ^-^ youw gates -A-And wet young Awthuw, Duke *cuddles you* of Bwitainye, in, -Who by *twerks* the h-hand of x3 Fwance this day hath made -*leans over* Much wowk fow teaws in *giggles shyly* many an E-Engwish mothew, -W-Whose sons wie s-scattewed >_> on the bweeding *teleports behind you* gwound; -*cuddles you* Many a *notices bulge* widow's h-husband g-gwovewwing wies, -Cowdwy embwacing the >_> discowouwed eawth; -And v-victowy with ^w^ wittwe woss doth pway -Upon the *cuddles you* dancing >_< bannyews of the *hugs tightly* Fwench, -*looks away* Who awe at hand, *blushes* twiumphantwy *twerks* dispwayed, -To entew conquewows, and to *screams* pwocwaim -Awthuw *twerks* of Bwitainye Engwand's King and >_< youws. - -Entew ENGWISH HEWAWD, with twumpet - -ENGWISH HEWAWD. Wejoice, you men of Angiews, :3 wing youw bewws: -*pokes you* King J-John, youw king and E-Engwand's, doth a-appwoach, -Commandew of *shuffles closer* this hot mawicious day. -Theiw awmouws that mawch'd hence so siwvew-bwight -H-Hithew wetuwn aww giwt with Fwenchmen's bwood. -*cuddles you* Thewe stuck nyo pwume *leans over* in any *giggles shyly* Engwish cwest -That is w-wemoved by a s-staff xDD of Fwance; -Ouw cowouws *moans* do wetuwn in those same hands -That did dispway t-them when *blushes* we fiwst mawch'd fowth; -And w-wike a *sweats* jowwy twoop of huntsmen come -Ouw w-wusty Engwish, aww with puwpwed hands, -Dy'd in *looks away* the dying swaughtew of theiw foes. -Open youw gates and give the *twerks* victows x3 way. -C-CITIZEN. Hewawds, fwom o-off o-ouw tow'ws we might behowd -Fwom fiwst to wast the onset and wetiwe -Of both youw awmies, whose *looks at you* equawity -By >_< ouw best eyes cannyot be censuwed. -Bwood *moans* hath x3 bought bwood, and bwows have *blushes* answew'd bwows; -*giggles shyly* Stwength match'd with stwength, and powew confwonted powew; -B-Both awe awike, a-and both awike we *pokes you* wike. -*giggles shyly* Onye *cries* must pwove >w< gweatest. Whiwe they weigh so even, -We howd ouw *hugs tightly* town fow nyeithew, yet f-fow both. - -Entew the t-two KINGS, with theiw powews, at sevewaw doows - -KING JOHN. Fwance, hast thou yet mowe bwood *hugs tightly* to *screams* cast away? -Say, s-shaww the cuwwent of ouw wight wun on? -Whose p-passage, vex'd with thy *giggles shyly* impediment, -Shaww weave his *screams* nyative channyew and x3 o'ewsweww -W-With couwse distuwb'd even thy confinying *notices bulge* showes, -Unwess thou wet his siwvew *notices bulge* watew keep -A peacefuw pwogwess to the ocean. -*moans* KING PHIWIP. Engwand, thou hast >_> nyot sav'd onye dwop o-of >_< bwood -In this *notices bulge* hot twiaw mowe than we of *teleports behind you* Fwance; -Wathew, wost mowe. And by this hand I sweaw, -That sways the ^w^ eawth this cwimate ovewwooks, -Befowe we wiww way down *cries* ouw just-bownye awms, -We'ww put x3 thee down, '-'gainst whom :3 these awms we *moans* beaw, -O-Ow add a woyaw nyumbew to the *giggles shyly* dead, -Gwacing the s-scwoww that tewws of this waw's woss -With s-swaughtew coupwed >w< to the nyame of kings. -BASTAWD. Ha, majesty! *cuddles you* how high thy gwowy tow'ws -When the wich *sighs* bwood of kings ^w^ is set on fiwe! -O, nyow doth *pokes you* Death winye his dead chaps w-with steew; -The swowds of sowdiews awe his t-teeth, his f-fangs; -And nyow he feasts, mousing the fwesh o-of men, -In u-undetewmin'd diffewences of kings. -Why stand these xDD woyaw fwonts amazed thus? -Cwy 'havoc!' kings; back to the ^w^ stainyed fiewd, -You equaw potents, fiewy kindwed >w< spiwits! -Then wet confusion of onye pawt confiwm -The othew's p-peace. T-Tiww then, bwows, b-bwood, and death! -KING J-JOHN. Whose *twerks* pawty do t-the townsmen yet admit? -KING OwO PHIWIP. Speak, citizens, f-fow Engwand; xDD who's youw king? -CITIZEN. The UwU King of Engwand, when w-we k-knyow the K-King. -KING ^.^ PHIWIP. Knyow h-him in us t-that *shuffles closer* hewe OwO howd u-up his wight. -K-KING JOHN. >_> In us t-that awe o-ouw own gweat deputy -A-And beaw possession of ouw OwO pewson hewe, -Wowd of o-ouw p-pwesence, Angiews, and *twerks* of you. -CITIZEN. A gweatew pow'w than w-we denyies aww this; -And tiww it be undoubted, we do wock -Ouw fowmew scwupwe in ouw stwong-baww'd gates; -King'd o-of ouw feaws, untiw ouw feaws, wesowv'd, -Be by s-some cewtain king puwg'd and depos'd. -BASTAWD. By heaven, these scwoywes of Angiews fwout y-you, kings, -And stand secuwewy on theiw b-battwements -As in a theatwe, whence they gape and p-point -At y-youw *teleports behind you* industwious scenyes a-and acts of death. -*looks away* Youw woyaw pwesences be wuw'd b-by me: -Do *giggles shyly* wike the mutinyes x3 of Jewusawem, -Be fwiends a-awhiwe, and both conjointwy bend -Youw shawpest deeds o-of mawice o-on this town. -By *looks at you* east *cries* and west wet Fwance a-and E-Engwand m-mount -Theiw battewing cannyon, chawged to the m-mouths, -Tiww theiw souw-feawing cwamouws have bwaww'd down -*looks at you* The fwinty wibs of *moans* this contemptuous city. -I'd pway incessantwy upon these uWu jades, -Even *cries* tiww unfenced desowation -Weave them as *sighs* nyaked as ;;w;; the vuwgaw aiw. -That *teleports behind you* donye, d-dissevew youw unyited *cuddles you* stwengths -And p-pawt youw mingwed cowouws once :33 again, -T-Tuwn *giggles shyly* face to >w< face and bwoody point t-to point; -Then in a moment Fowtunye shaww cuww fowth -Out of onye s-side hew happy minyion, -To whom in favouw s-she shaww give >_> the day, -xDD And kiss him with a-a gwowious victowy. -H-How wike you this wiwd counsew, mighty states? -Smacks it nyot something of the powicy? -KING JOHN. Nyow, by the sky t-that hangs *cries* above ouw heads, -I wike it *notices bulge* weww. Fwance, shaww we k-knyit ouw pow'ws -And way this Angiews even w-with the g-gwound; -Then aftew f-fight who *notices bulge* shaww b-be king of it? -UwU BASTAWD. *pokes you* An if thou hast t-the mettwe of a k-king, -Being wwong'd a-as we awe ^-^ by t-this peevish town, -Tuwn thou the mouth of thy awtiwwewy, -As *leans over* we wiww ouws, >_< against these saucy wawws; -And when t-that we have dash'd them to t-the gwound, -W-Why then d-defy each othew, and peww-meww -Make wowk upon *cuddles you* ouwsewves, fow heaven o-ow heww. -KING PHIWIP. Wet it b-be s-so. Say, whewe w-wiww you assauwt? -*teleports behind you* KING JOHN. We fwom the west wiww send destwuction -Into this *moans* city's bosom. -A-AUSTWIA. I fwom the nyowth. -KING PHIWIP. Ouw thundew fwom t-the south -Shaww wain theiw dwift ;;w;; of buwwets on this town. -*teleports behind you* BASTAWD. [Aside] O pwudent discipwinye! Fwom nyowth to *looks away* south, -Austwia a-and *twerks* Fwance shoot in each othew's mouth. -I'ww stiw them to it.-Come, away, away! -CITIZEN. *looks at you* Heaw us, g-gweat kings: vouchsafe awhiwe to stay, -And I shaww s-show you peace and faiw-fac'd weague; -Win you this city without stwoke ow wound; -Wescue those bweathing wives to die in beds -That hewe come sacwifices *hugs tightly* fow the fiewd. -*sweats* Pewsevew *sweats* nyot, but heaw me, m-mighty kings. -KING J-JOHN. Speak on with f-favouw; w-we awe *hugs tightly* bent to heaw. -C-CITIZEN. That daughtew thewe o-of Spain, ^-^ the Wady Bwanch, -*screams* Is nyiece to *twerks* Engwand; wook upon the yeaws -Of Wewis >_< the Dauphin and that wovewy maid. ->w< If wusty wove shouwd go i-in quest of beauty, -Whewe shouwd he find *hugs tightly* it *shuffles closer* faiwew than in Bwanch? -If zeawous wove shouwd g-go in s-seawch of viwtue, -W-Whewe shouwd he find it puwew than in >_> Bwanch? -*teleports behind you* If wove ambitious *blushes* sought a match of biwth, -Whose veins bound wichew UwU bwood than Wady Bwanch? -*moans* Such as s-she is, in beauty, viwtue, biwth, -Is the young Dauphin evewy way compwete- -If nyot compwete of, say he is nyot she; -And she again wants nyothing, x3 to nyame want, -If x3 want >_< it be UwU nyot *shuffles closer* that she is nyot he. -He is the *screams* hawf pawt o-of a bwessed man, -*blushes* Weft to x3 be finyished by s-such as she; -And she a faiw divided excewwence, -Whose f-fuwnyess of pewfection wies in him. -*twerks* O, *hugs tightly* two such siwvew cuwwents, when they j-join, -Do gwowify the *teleports behind you* banks that bound them in; -A-And t-two s-such ^w^ showes to two UwU such s-stweams made xDD onye, -Two such c-contwowwing bounds, *leans over* shaww you be, *sweats* Kings, -To these t-two pwinces, *looks away* if you mawwy them. -This u-unyion shaww do mowe than battewy can -To *looks at you* ouw fast-cwosed gates; fow at this *pokes you* match -With swiftew spween than powdew can enfowce, -The mouth *looks away* of passage shaww we fwing *blushes* wide ope -And give >_> you entwance; but without this *twerks* match, -The sea *blushes* enwaged is nyot h-hawf so *hugs tightly* deaf, -Wions mowe *blushes* confident, mountains and wocks -Mowe fwee f-fwom *pokes you* motion-nyo, nyot Death himsewf -In mowtaw fuwy hawf s-so pewemptowy -As we to keep this city. -BASTAWD. Hewe's a stay -T-That shakes the wotten cawcass of o-owd D-Death -Out *teleports behind you* of his wags! Hewe's a-a wawge mouth, ;;w;; indeed, -That spits fowth death and m-mountains, wocks and seas; -Tawks as famiwiawwy of woawing wions -As maids of thiwteen do of puppy-dogs! -What c-cannyonyeew begot t-this wusty bwood? -He *leans over* speaks pwain cannyon-fiwe, and *pokes you* smoke and bounce; -He g-gives the bastinyado OwO with his tongue; -Ouw e-eaws uWu awe *looks away* cudgeww'd; nyot a wowd of his -But buffets bettew than a fist of Fwance. -Zounds! I-I was nyevew s-so bethump'd with >_> wowds -S-Since I f-fiwst caww'd my bwothew's f-fathew d-dad. -EWINyOW. *moans* Son, *notices bulge* wist to this *shuffles closer* conjunction, make this m-match; -G-Give with ouw nyiece a dowwy *pokes you* wawge enyough; -Fow by t-this knyot thou s-shawt so suwewy tie -Thy nyow unsuw'd assuwance to >w< the UwU cwown -That y-yon UwU gween boy shaww have nyo sun *blushes* to wipe -The bwoom that pwomiseth *notices bulge* a mighty fwuit. -I see a ^.^ yiewding in the *giggles shyly* wooks of Fwance; -*giggles shyly* Mawk how they whispew. Uwge them whiwe theiw souws -Awe capabwe of this ambition, -West zeaw, nyow mewted by the *notices bulge* windy bweath -Of soft petitions, pity, and wemowse, -Coow and congeaw a-again to what UwU it was. -CITIZEN. Why answew nyot the doubwe majesties -This fwiendwy tweaty of ouw thweat'nyed town? -KING PHIWIP. Speak Engwand fiwst, UwU that hath *pokes you* been fowwawd fiwst -To s-speak unto this city: what say you? -KING JOHN. *pokes you* If that *sighs* the Dauphin thewe, thy pwincewy son, -Can in this book of beauty wead 'I wove,' -Hew dowwy shaww weigh equaw with a queen; -Fow Anjou, and OwO faiw T-Touwainye, Mainye, Poictiews, -And aww *looks at you* that we upon *shuffles closer* this side the s-sea- -E-Except this city nyow b-by us b-besieg'd- -*sighs* Find wiabwe to *looks at you* ouw cwown and dignyity, -Shaww giwd hew bwidaw bed, and make h-hew wich -xDD In titwes, honyouws, and pwomotions, -As she in beauty, education, bwood, -Howds UwU hand w-with any pwincess of the w-wowwd. -*looks away* KING PHIWIP. *notices bulge* What say'st thou, boy? Wook in the wady's face. -WEWIS. I do, m-my wowd, and in hew eye I find -A *shuffles closer* wondew, ^-^ ow a wondwous miwacwe, -The shadow of :33 mysewf fowm'd in hew eye; -Which, *hugs tightly* being but the shadow of youw s-son, -Becomes :3 a sun, and makes x3 youw son a-a shadow. -I do pwotest I n-nyevew x3 wov'd mysewf -T-Tiww nyow infixed I behewd m-mysewf -Dwawn in the fwattewing tabwe *twerks* of hew eye. -[-[Whispews with B-BWANCH] -BASTAWD. [Aside] Dwawn in the fwattewing tabwe of hew eye, -Hang'd in the fwownying wwinkwe of hew bwow, -*hugs tightly* And quawtew'd in hew heawt-he d-doth e-espy -Himsewf wove's ;;w;; twaitow. This *blushes* is OwO pity ;;w;; nyow, -That hang'd and dwawn and quawtew'd ^-^ thewe shouwd uWu be -In such a wove so viwe a wout as he. -BWANCH. My u-uncwe's wiww in *cries* this wespect is minye. -If he xDD see aught in *notices bulge* you t-that m-makes him *giggles shyly* wike, -That anything he ;;w;; sees which moves his wiking -I can with ease twanswate it to my w-wiww; -Ow if you wiww, to speak m-mowe pwopewwy, -I wiww enfowce it eas'wy to *leans over* my w-wove. -Fuwthew I-I wiww nyot fwattew you, my w-wowd, -That aww I see in you is wowthy wove, -*looks at you* Than this: that nyothing :3 do I see in you- -T-Though chuwwish *sighs* thoughts *cries* themsewves shouwd be y-youw *hugs tightly* judge- -That I can find shouwd mewit any hate. -K-KING JOHN. What say these y-young onyes? What say you, my nyiece? -BWANCH. That she *blushes* is x3 bound in honyouw stiww to :33 do -What you in wisdom stiww *pokes you* vouchsafe *shuffles closer* to say. -KING *sighs* JOHN. xDD Speak then, Pwince Dauphin; c-can y-you wove t-this wady? -WEWIS. Nyay, ask me if I ^.^ can wefwain fwom w-wove; -Fow I do wove hew most unfeignyedwy. -KING JOHN. Then d-do >_< I g-give Vowquessen, Touwainye, M-Mainye, -Poictiews, and *giggles shyly* Anjou, these five p-pwovinces, -With hew to ^-^ thee; and t-this addition mowe, -Fuww thiwty thousand mawks of Engwish coin. -Phiwip of Fwance, *sweats* if thou be p-pweas'd withaw, -Command *twerks* thy son and daughtew to join hands. -KING PHIWIP. It wikes us weww; young pwinces, c-cwose youw hands. -AUSTWIA. And youw wips too; fow I am weww assuw'd -That I did so when I was fiwst assuw'd. -KING PHIWIP. Nyow, citizens of Angiews, ope youw g-gates, -Wet in that amity which *sighs* you have made; -Fow at *leans over* Saint Mawy's c-chapew pwesentwy -The wites o-of mawwiage shaww be s-sowemnyiz'd. -*screams* Is nyot the Wady Constance in t-this twoop? -I-I *blushes* knyow she *teleports behind you* is nyot; fow this match made up -Hew pwesence *twerks* wouwd have intewwupted much. -Whewe is she and h-hew son? Teww *teleports behind you* me, who knyows. -W-WEWIS. She is sad and *leans over* passionyate at youw Highnyess' tent. -KING PHIWIP. A-And, by my faith, this weague uWu that we have *twerks* made -W-Wiww *notices bulge* give hew s-sadnyess vewy wittwe *looks at you* cuwe. -B-Bwothew of *screams* Engwand, how may we content -*cuddles you* This w-widow wady? In hew wight we came; -*screams* Which we, God knyows, have tuwn'd anyothew way, -^.^ To ouw own vantage. -KING JOHN. We *looks at you* wiww h-heaw u-up aww, -Fow we'ww c-cweate young Awthuw x3 Duke of Bwitainye, -:3 And E-Eaww of ;;w;; Wichmond; and this wich *teleports behind you* faiw town -*pokes you* We make h-him wowd of. Caww the Wady Constance; -Some ;;w;; speedy messengew bid *hugs tightly* hew *shuffles closer* wepaiw -To ouw sowemnyity. I twust *sweats* we shaww, -If n-nyot fiww u-up t-the measuwe of hew wiww, -Yet in some measuwe satisfy hew so -That *cuddles you* we shaww stop ^w^ hew excwamation. -Go >_> we as weww as haste wiww suffew us -To :33 this unwook'd-fow, unpwepawed pomp. -Exeunt aww but *cuddles you* the BASTAWD -BASTAWD. Mad *teleports behind you* wowwd! mad kings! mad c-composition! -John, to stop Awthuw's tide *pokes you* in the *blushes* whowe, -Hath wiwwingwy depawted with a pawt; -And Fwance, w-whose *blushes* awmouw xDD conscience buckwed on, -Whom zeaw a-and chawity *leans over* bwought ^.^ to the fiewd -As God's own sowdiew, w-wounded in the eaw -With that same puwpose-changew, *looks away* that swy *looks at you* deviw, -That bwokew that xDD stiww bweaks the pate o-of faith, -That daiwy bweak-vow, he that *blushes* wins of ^-^ aww, -OwO Of kings, of ^-^ beggaws, owd men, young m-men, maids, -Who having nyo extewnyaw thing to wose -But the wowd 'maid,' *cuddles you* cheats the p-poow m-maid ;;w;; of that; -UwU That smooth-fac'd gentweman, tickwing commodity, -C-Commodity, the bias o-of *blushes* the wowwd- -T-The wowwd, who of itsewf is peised ^w^ weww, -Made to wun even upon even g-gwound, -Tiww this advantage, this v-viwe-dwawing bias, -This sway of m-motion, this commodity, -Makes i-it take head fwom *screams* aww indiffewency, -*notices bulge* Fwom aww diwection, puwpose, couwse, intent- -And this same bias, this commodity, ->w< This bawd, t-this bwokew, t-this aww-changing >_> wowd, -Cwapp'd on the outwawd eye o-of fickwe Fwance, -Hath dwawn *blushes* him fwom *looks away* his own detewmin'd aid, -Fwom a wesowv'd and honyouwabwe waw, -;;w;; To a most base and viwe-concwuded peace. -And why >_< waiw I-I on t-this commodity? -But fow because :33 he hath nyot w-woo'd me yet; -Nyot that UwU I have the powew to cwutch my hand -When his faiw angews wouwd sawute my pawm, -But fow my hand, as xDD unyattempted yet, -Wike a poow beggaw waiweth on :3 the wich. -Weww, *notices bulge* whiwes OwO I am a beggaw, ^-^ I wiww waiw -And say t-thewe is nyo sin ^.^ but to be wich; -A-And being wich, m-my viwtue then shaww be -T-To say *moans* thewe i-is nyo vice but beggawy. -Since kings bweak faith upon commodity, -Gain, be my wowd, fow >w< I wiww wowship thee. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. S-SCENyE UwU 1. - -;;w;; Fwance. T-The FWENCH KING'S *cries* camp - -Entew CONSTANCE, AWTHUW, *moans* and SAWISBUWY - -CONSTANCE. UwU Gonye to be mawwied! Gonye to sweaw a peace! -Fawse bwood to fawse bwood *cuddles you* join'd! Gonye t-to be *teleports behind you* fwiends! -*looks at you* Shaww Wewis have *hugs tightly* Bwanch, and Bwanch *sighs* those pwovinces? -It is nyot so; *looks away* thou hast misspoke, m-misheawd; -B-Be weww advis'd, t-teww o'ew thy tawe *giggles shyly* again. -It cannyot be; *cuddles you* thou dost but say 'tis so; -I-I twust I may nyot twust ^w^ thee, f-fow thy wowd -Is *giggles shyly* but the vain bweath of a *looks away* common man: -Bewieve me I *hugs tightly* do nyot bewieve t-thee, man; -I have a king's oath to the contwawy. -*blushes* Thou shawt b-be punyish'd fow thus fwighting me, -Fow I am sick and capabwe of feaws, -Oppwess'd with wwongs, a-and thewefowe fuww of feaws; -A widow, husbandwess, ^-^ subject to feaws; -A uWu woman, nyatuwawwy bown to feaws; -And though thou nyow confess thou didst but *cuddles you* jest, -With my vex'd spiwits *giggles shyly* I cannyot t-take a t-twuce, -But they wiww q-quake and twembwe aww this day. -What d-dost thou mean by s-shaking of thy h-head? -Why dost thou wook so sadwy on my son? -*looks away* What means that hand upon OwO that bweast of thinye? -Why howds thinye *moans* eye that wamentabwe wheum, -Wike a pwoud *notices bulge* wivew *looks away* peewing o'ew his bounds? -Be these UwU sad signs confiwmews *cuddles you* of thy wowds? -Then speak again-nyot aww thy fowmew tawe, -But this onye wowd, *hugs tightly* whethew thy tawe be >_> twue. -SAWISBUWY. As twue as I bewieve you think t-them fawse -That give y-you cause to pwove my *twerks* saying twue. -C-CONSTANCE. O, if thou teach me to bewieve this sowwow, -Teach t-thou this sowwow how to make me d-die; -A-And wet bewief and x3 wife e-encountew s-so -As d-doth the fuwy of two despewate men -Which in the v-vewy meeting faww *moans* and die! -Wewis m-mawwy Bwanch! O boy, then w-whewe awt thou? -Fwance fwiend with Engwand; what becomes of me? -Fewwow, be gonye: I cannyot bwook thy sight; -This nyews hath made thee a m-most *twerks* ugwy man. -SAWISBUWY. x3 What othew hawm h-have I, good wady, donye -But *cries* spoke the hawm that is *cries* by othews donye? -CONSTANCE. Which hawm within :3 itsewf so heinyous *twerks* is -As it makes hawmfuw aww that speak of it. -AWTHUW. I do beseech you, madam, be content. -CONSTANCE. If thou that bid'st me *hugs tightly* be content wewt gwim, -Ugwy, and s-swand'wous to thy mothew's ^.^ womb, ->_< Fuww of unpweasing bwots and s-sightwess stains, -Wame, foowish, cwooked, swawt, pwodigious, -Patch'd with fouw mowes and e-eye-offending mawks, -I-I w-wouwd n-nyot c-cawe, I >_> then wouwd be content; -F-Fow then I shouwd nyot wove t-thee; nyo, nyow thou -Become thy gweat biwth, nyow *hugs tightly* desewve a cwown. -But thou awt f-faiw, and at thy biwth, deaw boy, -Nyatuwe and *blushes* Fowtunye join'd to make thee gweat: -Of Nyatuwe's ;;w;; gifts t-thou mayst w-with wiwies boast, -And with the hawf-bwown wose; b-but Fowtunye, O-O! -She is c-cowwupted, chang'd, *looks at you* and won *cries* fwom thee; -Sh' aduwtewates houwwy *hugs tightly* with thinye uncwe John, -And w-with hew gowden h-hand hath p-pwuck'd on Fwance -To twead down >_< faiw wespect of soveweignty, -And made his majesty the bawd to theiws. -Fwance is a *pokes you* bawd to Fowtunye and King John- -*giggles shyly* That s-stwumpet uWu Fowtunye, *sighs* that usuwping John! -Teww m-me, thou fewwow, i-is n-nyot Fwance f-fowswown? -Envenyom him with wowds, ow *moans* get thee gonye -And ;;w;; weave those woes awonye which I awonye -Am bound to undew-beaw. -SAWISBUWY. Pawdon me, madam, -I m-may *moans* nyot go without y-you to the kings. -CONSTANCE. Thou mayst, thou shawt; I wiww nyot go with thee; -I wiww instwuct my s-sowwows to be pwoud, -Fow gwief is p-pwoud, and makes his o-ownyew stoop. -To me, and to t-the state *shuffles closer* of my *hugs tightly* gweat gwief, -Wet kings assembwe; fow my gwief's so gweat -T-That nyo suppowtew but the *twerks* huge fiwm eawth -Can howd it u-up. [-[Seats hewsewf on the g-gwound] -*giggles shyly* Hewe I-I and sowwows sit; -xDD Hewe is my thwonye, >w< bid kings ^.^ come bow to it. - -xDD Entew KING JOHN, K-KING PHIWIP, *sweats* WEWIS, *looks at you* BWANCH, -EWINyOW, the BASTAWD, AUSTWIA, and attendants - -KING PHIWIP. *sighs* 'Tis twue, faiw daughtew, and t-this bwessed day -E-Evew in Fwance UwU shaww be k-kept festivaw. -To sowemnyize this *sweats* day the ^-^ gwowious sun -Stays in his couwse ^-^ and pways the awchemist, -Tuwnying with spwendouw o-of his *twerks* pwecious eye -;;w;; The meagwe cwoddy eawth to gwittewing *leans over* gowd. -OwO The yeawwy couwse that bwings this day about -Shaww nyevew see it but a howiday. -CONSTANCE. [Wising] A wicked day, and n-nyot a *notices bulge* howy day! -What hath this day desewv'd? *cries* what hath it donye -That it in g-gowden *pokes you* wettews shouwd be set -A-Among t-the high tides *screams* in the cawendaw? -Nyay, w-wathew tuwn :3 this day out of the *cuddles you* week, -This day of shame, oppwession, pewjuwy; -O-Ow, if :3 it m-must stand stiww, wet wives *cuddles you* with chiwd -Pway that theiw b-buwdens may nyot *sweats* faww this d-day, -West that theiw hopes *looks at you* pwodigiouswy be cwoss'd; -But ;;w;; on this day wet seamen feaw n-nyo wweck; -Nyo bawgains bweak *sweats* that awe nyot this day made; -This day, *screams* aww things begun come *cuddles you* to iww end, -Yea, faith itsewf to howwow fawsehood change! -KING PHIWIP. By heaven, wady, you shaww have nyo cause -To cuwse the f-faiw pwoceedings of this day. -Have I nyot pawn'd to you my majesty? -CONSTANCE. You have beguiw'd me with a countewfeit -Wesembwing majesty, which, being t-touch'd and twied, -Pwoves *looks away* vawuewess; you awe fowswown, fowswown; -You c-came in awms to spiww minye enyemies' bwood, -But nyow in awms you stwengthen it with youws. -The gwappwing vigouw a-and wough *twerks* fwown of waw -Is cowd in *twerks* amity and painted peace, -*notices bulge* And ouw oppwession hath m-made up this weague. -*leans over* Awm, awm, you heavens, against these pewjuw'd kings! -A widow *teleports behind you* cwies: Be husband to me, heavens! -Wet nyot the houws of t-this ungodwy day -Weaw out *looks away* the day in peace; but, ewe sunset, -*cuddles you* Set awmed d-discowd 'twixt these p-pewjuw'd kings! -Heaw me, O, heaw me! -AUSTWIA. W-Wady Constance, peace! -CONSTANCE. Waw! waw! nyo peace! Peace is to me a waw. -O Wymoges! O Austwia! thou *leans over* dost *shuffles closer* shame -That bwoody spoiw. Thou *looks away* swave, thou wwetch, thou cowawd! -Thou wittwe *cries* vawiant, *looks away* gweat in v-viwwainy! -Thou evew stwong upon the stwongew side! -Thou Fowtunye's champion that dost nyevew fight -But when hew humowous wadyship is by -To teach thee OwO safety! Thou awt pewjuw'd too, -And sooth'st up ^.^ gweatnyess. What a foow awt thou, -A wamping foow, t-to bwag and s-stamp and sweaw -Upon my pawty! Thou cowd-bwooded s-swave, -*looks at you* Hast thou nyot spoke wike thundew on m-my side, -Been swown my *teleports behind you* sowdiew, bidding *pokes you* me depend -Upon thy staws, thy fowtunye, and thy s-stwength, -And dost thou *pokes you* nyow f-faww ovew to *moans* my foes? -Thou weaw a wion's hide! Doff it fow shame, -And hang *cuddles you* a cawf's-skin on t-those wecweant wimbs. -AUSTWIA. O that a man shouwd speak those wowds to *blushes* me! -BASTAWD. A-And hang a cawf's-skin on t-those *giggles shyly* wecweant w-wimbs. -AUSTWIA. :33 Thou daw'st nyot say so, viwwain, fow t-thy wife. -BASTAWD. And hang a cawf's-skin on those w-wecweant wimbs. -KING JOHN. *looks away* We wike nyot this: thou dost *moans* fowget thysewf. - -Entew PANDUWPH - -KING PHIWIP. *sighs* Hewe comes OwO the *screams* howy wegate >_< of the Pope. -PANDUWPH. Haiw, you anyointed ^.^ deputies o-of heaven! -To thee, King John, my *sweats* howy ewwand is. -I Panduwph, of faiw UwU Miwan cawdinyaw, -And f-fwom *sighs* Pope I-Innyocent the wegate hewe, -Do in his nyame wewigiouswy *looks at you* demand -Why thou against the Chuwch, *giggles shyly* ouw howy mothew, -So wiwfuwwy >_> dost spuwn; and fowce pewfowce -Keep Stephen W-Wangton, chosen *looks away* Awchbishop -Of C-Cantewbuwy, fwom *cuddles you* that howy s-see? -*shuffles closer* This, i-in ouw f-fowesaid howy fathew's nyame, -Pope Innyocent, I do demand of thee. -KING *sighs* JOHN. What eawthwy nyame uWu to intewwogatowies -Can task the fwee bweath of a sacwed king? -Thou *looks at you* canst nyot, *twerks* Cawdinyaw, devise a nyame -So swight, unwowthy, and widicuwous, -To chawge me to *looks at you* an answew, as t-the Pope. -Teww him this tawe, and f-fwom the *blushes* mouth *looks away* of Engwand -Add thus *pokes you* much mowe, that nyo I-Itawian p-pwiest -Shaww tithe ow *cries* toww in ouw dominyions; -But as w-we undew heaven awe s-supweme head, -So, undew Him x3 that gweat supwemacy, -Whewe >w< we d-do weign we wiww awonye uphowd, -Without th' assistance of a mowtaw hand. -So teww :33 the Pope, aww *pokes you* wevewence set apawt -To h-him and his usuwp'd a-authowity. -K-KING PHIWIP. >w< Bwothew of ^-^ Engwand, y-you bwaspheme i-in this. -K-KING JOHN. *pokes you* Though you and aww the kings o-of Chwistendom -Awe wed so gwosswy OwO by this meddwing pwiest, -Dweading *pokes you* the cuwse that monyey UwU may buy out, -And ^w^ by the m-mewit of viwe gowd, dwoss, dust, -Puwchase cowwupted pawdon of *screams* a man, -W-Who in :33 that sawe sewws *blushes* pawdon *twerks* fwom himsewf- -T-Though *looks away* you and *pokes you* aww the west, so gwosswy wed, -This juggwing *twerks* witchcwaft *leans over* with wevenyue chewish; -Yet I awonye, awonye do m-me oppose -Against the *sighs* Pope, and count his *leans over* fwiends my foes. -PANDUWPH. Then by the ^.^ wawfuw p-powew that I *twerks* have -Thou shawt stand cuws'd and excommunyicate; -And bwessed shaww he x3 be that doth ;;w;; wevowt -Fwom h-his ^w^ awwegiance x3 to an h-hewetic; -And *pokes you* mewitowious shaww that hand be caww'd, -Canyonyized, and w-wowshipp'd *twerks* as a saint, -T-That takes a-away by any secwet couwse -*giggles shyly* Thy hatefuw wife. -CONSTANCE. O, wawfuw w-wet it be -That *blushes* I have woom with Wome to cuwse awhiwe! -Good fathew Cawdinyaw, cwy ^.^ thou 'amen' -To m-my ;;w;; keen cuwses; fow without my wwong -Thewe is *looks at you* nyo tongue hath p-powew to c-cuwse him wight. -PANDUWPH. Thewe's waw and wawwant, wady, fow m-my cuwse. -C-CONSTANCE. And f-fow minye too; when waw can d-do *leans over* nyo wight, -Wet it be wawfuw that waw baw ^-^ nyo >_> wwong; -Waw cannyot give my chiwd *sighs* his kingdom *pokes you* hewe, -*pokes you* Fow he that howds x3 his kingdom howds the waw; -Thewefowe, since waw itsewf is ;;w;; pewfect wwong, -How can the waw fowbid *blushes* my t-tongue to cuwse? -PANDUWPH. P-Phiwip of Fwance, on pewiw of a cuwse, -Wet go the hand of that awch-hewetic, -And waise the powew of Fwance upon his h-head, -Unwess he ^.^ do submit himsewf to Wome. -:3 EWINyOW. Wook'st thou >w< pawe, Fwance? xDD Do *looks away* nyot wet go thy hand. -CONSTANCE. Wook t-to *looks at you* that, d-deviw, west t-that Fwance w-wepent -*notices bulge* And b-by disjoinying hands heww wose a souw. -AUSTWIA. King Phiwip, *sweats* wisten to the Cawdinyaw. -BASTAWD. A-And hang a cawf's-skin on his wecweant wimbs. -AUSTWIA. Weww, wuffian, I must p-pocket up these w-wwongs, -B-Because- -BASTAWD. OwO Youw bweeches best may cawwy them. -KING JOHN. Phiwip, what say'st thou to the Cawdinyaw? -CONSTANCE. What ^-^ shouwd he say, but as the Cawdinyaw? -WEWIS. ^.^ Bethink you, *notices bulge* fathew; f-fow the >_> diffewence -Is puwchase of a heavy cuwse fwom Wome -Ow t-the wight woss of Engwand f-fow a fwiend. -Fowgo the easiew. -BWANCH. That's the cuwse of *looks away* Wome. -*looks at you* CONSTANCE. O Wewis, stand ^-^ fast! The deviw tempts thee hewe -In wikenyess o-of a nyew untwimmed bwide. -BWANCH. The W-Wady *screams* Constance s-speaks nyot fwom hew faith, -But f-fwom h-hew nyeed. -CONSTANCE. O, if t-thou gwant my nyeed, -Which onwy wives but by the *leans over* death of faith, -That nyeed UwU must nyeeds infew this pwincipwe- -That faith *cries* wouwd wive *giggles shyly* again by death of nyeed. -O then, twead down m-my nyeed, and faith mounts up: -K-Keep my nyeed up, and faith is twodden *twerks* down! -KING JOHN. The King is m-mov'd, and answews nyot to this. -CONSTANCE. O be wemov'd fwom him, and answew weww! -AUSTWIA. *pokes you* Do so, King Phiwip; hang nyo m-mowe *sweats* in d-doubt. -BASTAWD. Hang n-nyothing but a cawf's-skin, *hugs tightly* most sweet wout. -KING PHIWIP. I-I am pewpwex'd and knyow nyot w-what *cries* to say. -PANDUWPH. What canst thou say but w-wiww pewpwex thee mowe, -If thou stand *giggles shyly* excommunyicate and cuws'd? -KING PHIWIP. Good wevewend fathew, make my pewson youws, -And teww me how you wouwd bestow youwsewf. -This w-woyaw h-hand and minye *shuffles closer* awe nyewwy knyit, -And the conjunction of ouw inwawd souws ->_< Mawwied in weague, coupwed a-and wink'd togethew -W-With aww wewigious stwength of sacwed vows; -The *looks away* watest ^-^ bweath that g-gave *hugs tightly* the sound of *hugs tightly* wowds -Was deep-swown faith, peace, amity, twue wove, -Between ^.^ ouw *cries* kingdoms and o-ouw w-woyaw sewves; -And e-even befowe :33 this twuce, b-but nyew befowe, -Nyo w-wongew than we weww couwd wash ouw hands, -To cwap this woyaw bawgain u-up of peace, -H-Heaven *notices bulge* knyows, they wewe besmeaw'd and ovewstain'd -With *leans over* swaughtew's penciw, *giggles shyly* whewe wevenge did uWu paint -*giggles shyly* The feawfuw diffewence of incensed k-kings. -And shaww t-these hands, so watewy puwg'd of bwood, -So n-nyewwy join'd in wove, so stwong in both, -Unyoke this seizuwe a-and *cries* this *sighs* kind wegweet? -Pway fast and woose with faith? so jest with heaven, -Make such unconstant chiwdwen *looks away* of ouwsewves, -As nyow again to snyatch ouw pawm fwom pawm, -Unsweaw faith s-swown, and on the mawwiage-bed -Of smiwing peace to mawch a bwoody host, -And make a *looks away* wiot on the gentwe *moans* bwow -Of twue *pokes you* sincewity? O-O, howy s-siw, -My wevewend fathew, wet it nyot b-be s-so! -Out of youw gwace, d-devise, ^w^ owdain, impose, -Some gentwe owdew; >w< and *looks away* then we shaww be bwest -*looks away* To do youw pweasuwe, and continyue fwiends. -PANDUWPH. Aww fowm is fowmwess, owdew owdewwess, -Save what is UwU opposite *blushes* to Engwand's wove. -T-Thewefowe, to awms! be *cuddles you* champion of ouw chuwch, -Ow wet the chuwch, ouw m-mothew, bweathe hew cuwse- -A-A mothew's cuwse-on hew wevowting son. -Fwance, thou ;;w;; mayst h-howd a *sighs* sewpent b-by the t-tongue, -UwU A chafed ;;w;; wion by the mowtaw paw, -A fasting tigew safew by the *sighs* tooth, -Than keep in p-peace that hand which thou d-dost howd. -K-KING PHIWIP. I may disjoin OwO my h-hand, but nyot my faith. -P-PANDUWPH. :3 So mak'st thou faith an *screams* enyemy to faith; -And wike. a c-civiw waw set'st oath to o-oath. -Thy tongue :33 against thy tongue. O, wet thy vow -Fiwst m-made to heaven, fiwst b-be to heaven pewfowm'd, -That is, to be the c-champion of ouw Chuwch. -*shuffles closer* What *sweats* since thou swow'st i-is swown against thysewf -And may :33 nyot b-be pewfowmed by thysewf, -Fow that which thou hast swown to do amiss -Is nyot *sighs* amiss when i-it is *teleports behind you* twuwy donye; -And ^-^ being nyot donye, whewe doing tends to iww, -The twuth is then most d-donye nyot doing it; -The bettew act of puwposes mistook -*cries* Is t-to mistake again; though indiwect, -Yet indiwection *shuffles closer* theweby gwows diwect, -*moans* And fawsehood cuwes, as f-fiwe coows fiwe -Within the scowched veins *sighs* of onye nyew-buwn'd. -It is wewigion that doth *leans over* make vows kept; -But t-thou hast swown *leans over* against wewigion -By what thou sweaw'st against :33 the t-thing thou s-sweaw'st, -And mak'st an oath the suwety fow thy *cuddles you* twuth -A-Against an oath; the twuth thou awt unsuwe -T-To sweaw sweaws onwy nyot to be fowswown; -Ewse what a mockewy shouwd >_> it be t-to *screams* sweaw! -But thou d-dost sweaw onwy to be fowswown; -And most fowswown to keep what *hugs tightly* thou dost sweaw. -Thewefowe ;;w;; thy *hugs tightly* watew vows against thy *moans* fiwst -*twerks* Is in *blushes* thysewf *notices bulge* webewwion to t-thysewf; -And ;;w;; bettew conquest nyevew canst thou make -*sighs* Than awm t-thy constant and t-thy nyobwew pawts -Against these giddy woose suggestions; -Upon which b-bettew pawt ouw pway'ws come in, -If *cries* thou vouchsafe them. But if nyot, then knyow -The pewiw of ouw cuwses fight on thee -*blushes* So heavy a-as t-thou >_< shawt nyot shake them >w< off, -But in d-despaiw die *looks at you* undew the bwack OwO weight. -AUSTWIA. Webewwion, fwat webewwion! -BASTAWD. Wiww't nyot be? -Wiww nyot a c-cawf's-skin stop that mouth o-of thinye? -WEWIS. *screams* Fathew, t-to awms! -BWANCH. Upon thy wedding-day? -Against the bwood that t-thou hast *cries* mawwied? -W-What, shaww ouw feast be k-kept UwU with swaughtewed men? -Shaww bwaying twumpets and woud *cuddles you* chuwwish dwums, -Cwamouws of *looks at you* heww, *sweats* be *screams* measuwes to ouw >_> pomp? -O husband, h-heaw me! ay, *hugs tightly* awack, how n-nyew -Is 'husband' i-in my mouth! even fow that nyame, -Which tiww this time my tongue did ;;w;; nye'ew pwonyounce, -Upon my *cries* knyee I beg, g-go nyot to awms -Against *screams* minye uncwe. -CONSTANCE. :33 O, upon my knyee, -Made hawd with k-knyeewing, *sighs* I d-do pway t-to *leans over* thee, -^.^ Thou viwtuous Dauphin, awtew nyot the doom -Fowethought *screams* by heaven! -BWANCH. Nyow shaww I see thy uWu wove. What motive *cries* may -Be stwongew with thee than the nyame of w-wife? -CONSTANCE. That which :33 uphowdeth h-him that thee uphowds, -His ^w^ honyouw. *hugs tightly* O, thinye honyouw, W-Wewis, thinye honyouw! -WEWIS. I-I muse youw *twerks* Majesty doth seem so cowd, -;;w;; When such pwofound w-wespects d-do puww y-you uWu on. -PANDUWPH. I wiww denyounce a cuwse u-upon his head. -K-KING PHIWIP. Thou shawt nyot nyeed. Engwand, I wiww f-faww >w< fwom thee. -CONSTANCE. O faiw wetuwn o-of *shuffles closer* banyish'd majesty! -EWINyOW. O *looks at you* fouw wevowt of Fwench inconstancy! -KING uWu JOHN. Fwance, t-thou shawt wue this houw within this houw. -BASTAWD. Owd Time the cwock-settew, that b-bawd :33 sexton Time, -Is it as he wiww? *screams* Weww then, Fwance shaww wue. -BWANCH. The sun's o'ewcast w-with *moans* bwood. Faiw day, adieu! -W-Which is the s-side t-that I-I must go w-withaw? -I am with both: e-each awmy hath a hand; ->_> And in theiw wage, I having howd of b-both, -They whiww asundew and dismembew me. -H-Husband, I cannyot p-pway that thou >_< mayst win; -*cries* Uncwe, I nyeeds must pway that thou mayst w-wose; -Fathew, I may nyot w-wish the *hugs tightly* fowtunye thinye; -Gwandam, I wiww nyot wish thy wishes thwive. -W-Whoevew w-wins, >_< on that side shaww I *twerks* wose: -Assuwed woss befowe the *notices bulge* match be pway'd. -*giggles shyly* WEWIS. Wady, with me, with me thy fowtunye wies. -*teleports behind you* BWANCH. Thewe w-whewe my fowtunye *screams* wives, *hugs tightly* thewe my wife dies. -KING JOHN. Cousin, uWu go dwaw ouw p-puissance togethew. -E-Exit BASTAWD -Fwance, I am buwn'd up with infwaming wwath, -A wage whose heat hath this condition -That nyothing can a-awway, nyothing but bwood, -The bwood, and deawest-vawu'd b-bwood, of Fwance. -KING PHIWIP. Thy wage *moans* shaww buwn *sighs* thee up, and thou shawt tuwn -To ashes, ewe ouw bwood shaww quench that :33 fiwe. -Wook t-to *sighs* thysewf, thou awt in jeopawdy. -KING *hugs tightly* JOHN. Nyo mowe than he that thweats. To awms *sweats* wet's hie! -Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -Fwance. Pwains nyeaw Angiews - -Awawums, *cuddles you* excuwsions. Entew the *cries* BASTAWD with AUSTWIA'S head - -^.^ BASTAWD. Nyow, by my wife, this day gwows wondwous hot; -S-Some aiwy deviw hovews in *blushes* the sky -And pouws down mischief. Austwia's head wie *cuddles you* thewe, -Whiwe Phiwip bweathes. - -E-Entew KING JOHN, A-AWTHUW, and H-HUBEWT - -KING JOHN. Hubewt, >w< keep t-this boy. Phiwip, make *pokes you* up: -M-My *hugs tightly* mothew is assaiwed in ouw tent, -And ta'en, I feaw. -BASTAWD. My wowd, *moans* I wescued hew; -H-Hew Highnyess is i-in safety, feaw you nyot; -But on, my ^-^ wiege, fow vewy wittwe pains -Wiww bwing t-this wabouw to a-an happy end. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3-3. - -Fwance. Pwains nyeaw A-Angiews - -Awawums, excuwsions, w-wetweat. Entew KING JOHN, EWINyOW, AWTHUW, -t-the ^.^ BASTAWD, HUBEWT, and WOWDS - -*cries* KING JOHN. [To EWINyOW] *looks at you* So shaww i-it be; youw Gwace shaww stay -behind, -So stwongwy guawded. >_< [To AWTHUW] Cousin, wook nyot *giggles shyly* sad; -Thy gwandam woves thee, and thy uncwe wiww -As deaw be to thee as thy uWu fathew was. -A-AWTHUW. O, this wiww make *pokes you* my mothew die with gwief! -KING *cries* JOHN. [To the BASTAWD] *cuddles you* Cousin, away fow E-Engwand! h-haste -befowe, -And, ewe ouw coming, *moans* see t-thou shake the b-bags -:33 Of hoawding abbots; impwisonyed angews -Set at wibewty; the f-fat wibs of peace -Must by the hungwy nyow be f-fed upon. -Use ouw commission in h-his *looks at you* utmost fowce. -*looks at you* BASTAWD. Beww, book, and candwe, shaww nyot dwive *twerks* me back, -*sighs* When *teleports behind you* gowd and :33 siwvew becks me ^.^ to come *sighs* on. -I weave youw Highnyess. Gwandam, I wiww pway, -If UwU evew I wemembew to be howy, -Fow ;;w;; youw xDD faiw safety. So, I kiss youw hand. -EWINyOW. Faweweww, gentwe c-cousin. -KING JOHN. *blushes* Coz, faweweww. -Exit BASTAWD -EWINyOW. Come hithew, wittwe kinsman; hawk, *sighs* a ^.^ wowd. -KING JOHN. *cries* Come hithew, H-Hubewt. O *teleports behind you* my gentwe Hubewt, -We owe thee much! Within t-this waww of fwesh -Thewe is a *twerks* souw counts thee hew cweditow, -And w-with advantage means to pay thy wove; -And, my good OwO fwiend, *cries* thy vowuntawy oath -Wives in this bosom, deawwy chewished. -*sweats* Give m-me UwU thy hand. *shuffles closer* I had >w< a thing *sweats* to say- -But I-I *hugs tightly* wiww fit it w-with s-some bettew t-time. -B-By heaven, Hubewt, I am awmost asham'd -T-To say what *moans* good w-wespect I have of thee. -HUBEWT. I am m-much bounden to youw Majesty. -KING JOHN. Good fwiend, >_< thou *hugs tightly* hast *sighs* nyo c-cause to say *screams* so yet, -But thou shawt h-have; and cweep time nye'ew xDD so swow, -*sweats* Yet it shaww come *twerks* fow m-me to ^-^ do t-thee good. -I had a thing to s-say-but wet it go: -The *pokes you* sun is :33 in the heaven, and the pwoud day, -Attended with the pweasuwes of the wowwd, -Is aww too wanton a-and t-too fuww of gawds -To give me audience. If the m-midnyight beww -*giggles shyly* Did w-with his iwon tongue and bwazen mouth -Sound on into :33 the d-dwowsy wace of nyight; -If this same wewe a chuwchyawd whewe we stand, -And thou possessed w-with a thousand wwongs; -Ow if that suwwy s-spiwit, mewanchowy, -Had bak'd thy bwood a-and made i-it heavy-thick, -Which ewse wuns tickwing up and down the veins, ->w< Making *looks away* that *giggles shyly* idiot, waughtew, :33 keep *cuddles you* men's eyes -And stwain t-theiw cheeks *blushes* to idwe mewwiment, -A passion ^w^ hatefuw to my p-puwposes; -*twerks* Ow if that thou couwdst see me without e-eyes, -Heaw m-me without thinye caws, a-and >_> make wepwy -Without a tongue, using c-conceit awonye, -Without eyes, eaws, a-and hawmfuw sound of wowds- -Then, in d-despite o-of *cries* bwooded watchfuw day, -I *hugs tightly* wouwd :3 into thy b-bosom pouw my thoughts. -But, ^.^ ah, I wiww nyot! Yet I wove thee ;;w;; weww; -And, b-by my twoth, I think thou wov'st me *looks away* weww. -HUBEWT. S-So weww t-that what you bid m-me undewtake, -Though x3 that my death *looks at you* wewe adjunct to my *leans over* act, -B-By heaven, I wouwd do it. -KING >_< JOHN. Do nyot I knyow thou wouwdst? -Good Hubewt, *sighs* Hubewt, Hubewt, thwow thinye eye -On yon young boy. I-I'ww teww thee what, my fwiend, -He i-is a vewy sewpent *notices bulge* in my w-way; -A-And whewesoe'ew this *sighs* foot of minye doth twead, -He wies befowe *blushes* me. Dost t-thou undewstand me? -Thou awt his keepew. -HUBEWT. And I'ww keep him so -That he shaww nyot offend youw Majesty. -KING JOHN. *screams* Death. -*twerks* HUBEWT. My >w< wowd? -:3 KING JOHN. A gwave. -HUBEWT. He shaww nyot wive. -KING JOHN. Enyough! -I couwd be m-mewwy nyow. Hubewt, *leans over* I wove thee. -Weww, I'ww nyot s-say what I intend fow t-thee. -Wemembew. Madam, fawe you weww; -I-I'ww send those powews o'ew *leans over* to youw Majesty. -EWINyOW. My bwessing *hugs tightly* go w-with t-thee! -KING JOHN. [To A-AWTHUW] Fow Engwand, cousin, go; -Hubewt *looks at you* shaww be *sighs* youw man, attend on you -With aww twue duty. On towawd Cawais, ho! Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 4. - -*twerks* Fwance. The FWENCH KING's camp - -Entew KING PHIWIP, WEWIS, PANDUWPH, OwO and attendants - -KING PHIWIP. S-So :33 by a w-woawing uWu tempest on t-the fwood -A whowe awmado of convicted saiw -Is s-scattewed and disjoin'd fwom fewwowship. -PANDUWPH. Couwage and comfowt! Aww shaww yet go weww. -K-KING PHIWIP. What x3 can ^.^ go weww, w-when we *moans* have wun so iww. -Awe we >_< nyot beaten? Is nyot Angiews wost? -Awthuw ta'en pwisonyew? Divews xDD deaw fwiends swain? -And bwoody E-Engwand into Engwand gonye, -O'ewbeawing *twerks* intewwuption, spite OwO of Fwance? -WEWIS. he hath won, that hath he fowtified; -So h-hot a *pokes you* speed with such advice dispos'd, -Such tempewate owdew in so fiewce a cause, -Doth want e-exampwe; who h-hath w-wead ow heawd -Of any kindwed >w< action wike to this? -KING PHIWIP. Weww couwd I beaw t-that *pokes you* Engwand had this pwaise, -So we couwd *moans* find some pattewn *cries* of ouw shame. - -Entew CONSTANCE - -^-^ Wook who comes hewe! a gwave unto a souw; -Howding th' etewnyaw spiwit, against hew wiww, -In the viwe pwison of affwicted bweath. -*cuddles you* I pwithee, wady, go >_> away with me. -CONSTANCE. Wo nyow! nyow see the issue of y-youw peace! -KING PHIWIP. Patience, good *cuddles you* wady! Comfowt, gentwe C-Constance! -CONSTANCE. Nyo, I defy *moans* aww counsew, ^-^ aww wedwess, -B-But that which ends UwU aww counsew, >w< twue wedwess- -Death, death; O a-amiabwe wovewy death! -T-Thou o-odowifewous stench! sound wottennyess! -Awise fowth fwom the couch *blushes* of wasting *shuffles closer* nyight, -Thou hate and tewwow t-to pwospewity, -And I wiww kiss thy detestabwe bonyes, -And put *sighs* my eyebawws in thy vauwty bwows, -A-And wing these fingews UwU with thy h-househowd w-wowms, -And s-stop t-this gap of bweath with f-fuwsome *pokes you* dust, -And be a cawwion monstew wike t-thysewf. -Come, g-gwin on *sighs* me, and I-I wiww t-think thou smiw'st, -And buss t-thee as thy wife. Misewy's wove, -O-O, come to me! -KING PHIWIP. O faiw affwiction, peace! -CONSTANCE. Nyo, nyo, I w-wiww nyot, having bweath to cwy. -O that my tongue wewe in the thundew's mouth! -Then ^w^ with a p-passion wouwd I shake the wowwd, -*teleports behind you* And wouse fwom sweep >_< that feww anyatomy -Which cannyot heaw a *screams* wady's x3 feebwe voice, -Which scowns *looks away* a modewn invocation. -PANDUWPH. Wady, you uttew madnyess and nyot >_< sowwow. -CONSTANCE. Thou awt nyot howy to bewie me so. -I am n-nyot mad: t-this haiw I *cries* teaw x3 is minye; -M-My *screams* nyame i-is *giggles shyly* Constance; *teleports behind you* I was Geffwey's wife; -*twerks* Young Awthuw is my son, and he is wost. -I am nyot mad-I w-wouwd to h-heaven I *pokes you* wewe! -Fow then 'tis wike I shouwd fowget m-mysewf. -O, if I-I couwd, w-what gwief shouwd I fowget! -Pweach some phiwosophy t-to make me mad, -And xDD thou shawt be c-canyonyiz'd, Cawdinyaw; -Fow, being *cuddles you* nyot mad, but sensibwe of gwief, -My weasonyabwe *shuffles closer* pawt pwoduces w-weason -H-How I may be dewivew'd of these woes, -And teaches me to k-kiww ow hang *giggles shyly* mysewf. -If I w-wewe m-mad I shouwd fowget my ;;w;; son, -Ow madwy *twerks* think a babe of *teleports behind you* cwouts wewe x3 he. -I am n-nyot mad; too *looks at you* weww, too w-weww I ^-^ feew -The diffewent pwague of each cawamity. -KING *sweats* PHIWIP. Bind u-up ^w^ those twesses. x3 O, w-what wove I nyote -In the faiw muwtitude of those *moans* hew haiws! -*sighs* Whewe b-but by a chance a *cuddles you* siwvew dwop hath faww'n, -Even to *moans* that dwop ten t-thousand wiwy f-fwiends -Do *giggles shyly* gwue themsewves i-in sociabwe gwief, -*blushes* Wike twue, insepawabwe, faithfuw woves, -Sticking *cuddles you* togethew in cawamity. -CONSTANCE. To Engwand, if you wiww. -KING PHIWIP. Bind up youw haiws. -CONSTANCE. *leans over* Yes, ;;w;; that I *cries* wiww; and whewefowe wiww I do it? -I towe them f-fwom theiw bonds, and cwied awoud -'O that *cuddles you* these hands couwd s-so wedeem my son, -As t-they have given these haiws theiw wibewty!' -But n-nyow I envy at theiw wibewty, -And wiww again commit them to theiw bonds, -Because ^w^ my poow chiwd is a pwisonyew. -And, fathew Cawdinyaw, I h-have xDD heawd you *screams* say -That we shaww see and k-knyow *shuffles closer* ouw *looks away* fwiends in heaven; -If that be twue, I shaww see my >_< boy again; -Fow since the *cries* biwth of Cain, *teleports behind you* the fiwst mawe chiwd, -To >w< him that did but yestewday suspiwe, -Thewe w-was n-nyot such a gwacious c-cweatuwe bown. -But nyow wiww cankew sowwow eat ;;w;; my bud -And chase the nyative beauty fwom his cheek, -And he w-wiww wook as howwow as *looks at you* a ghost, -uWu As *sweats* dim x3 and meagwe as an ague's fit; -And so OwO he'ww *hugs tightly* die; and, wising so again, -W-When I shaww meet him in the couwt of heaven -I shaww nyot *cries* knyow him. Thewefowe *cries* nyevew, nyevew -M-Must I behowd m-my pwetty >_> Awthuw m-mowe. -PANDUWPH. You howd too ^-^ heinyous a >w< wespect o-of g-gwief. -CONSTANCE. He tawks to me *blushes* that nyevew had a son. -KING PHIWIP. You uWu awe as f-fond o-of *moans* gwief as of youw chiwd. -CONSTANCE. Gwief fiwws the woom up of my absent chiwd, -Wies in ^w^ his bed, w-wawks up *giggles shyly* and down with me, -*sighs* Puts on h-his pwetty wooks, *notices bulge* wepeats his wowds, -Wemembews me of aww his *hugs tightly* gwacious pawts, -Stuffs out his UwU vacant gawments with his fowm; -Then h-have I weason to be fond of g-gwief. -F-Fawe you weww; had xDD you such a w-woss as I, -I couwd g-give bettew comfowt than you *moans* do. -I wiww nyot >w< keep this fowm upon my head, -[-[Teawing h-hew haiw] -W-When thewe is s-such *sweats* disowdew in >_> my w-wit. -^.^ O Wowd! my boy, *blushes* my Awthuw, *notices bulge* my faiw son! -*cries* My wife, my joy, my *sweats* food, my aiw the wowwd! -*cries* My widow-comfowt, and m-my sowwows' cuwe! Exit -KING PHIWIP. *cries* I feaw some outwage, and I'ww :33 fowwow ^.^ hew. *looks at you* Exit -WEWIS. Thewe's n-nyothing in this wowwd uWu can make me joy. -Wife is as tedious as a twice-towd t-tawe -Vexing t-the duww eaw o-of a uWu dwowsy man; -A-And bittew shame hath spoiw'd t-the s-sweet wowwd's t-taste, -T-That it *moans* yiewds nyought but shame and bittewnyess. -P-PANDUWPH. Befowe the cuwing of a stwong disease, -Even in x3 the instant *hugs tightly* of wepaiw and :3 heawth, -The fit is stwongest; eviws that t-take weave -On theiw depawtuwe most of aww show eviw; -What have you wost by w-wosing of this day? -WEWIS. Aww days of gwowy, joy, a-and happinyess. -PANDUWPH. *shuffles closer* If you had won it, c-cewtainwy you had. -Nyo, nyo; :33 when Fowtunye *looks at you* means ;;w;; to men most good, -*looks away* She *shuffles closer* wooks upon them with a thweat'nying eye. -'Tis stwange to think how much King John hath *looks at you* wost -I-In this which he *sweats* accounts s-so cweawwy won. -A-Awe nyot you gwiev'd t-that A-Awthuw is his p-pwisonyew? -WEWIS. >_> As heawtiwy as he >_< is gwad he hath *looks away* him. -PANDUWPH. Youw mind *cuddles you* is aww as youthfuw as >_< youw bwood. -Nyow h-heaw me s-speak with a pwophetic spiwit; -^.^ Fow even :3 the *cries* bweath of what I mean to speak -S-Shaww bwow each dust, each stwaw, e-each w-wittwe wub, -O-Out of t-the *leans over* path which *shuffles closer* shaww xDD diwectwy wead -*sweats* Thy foot to E-Engwand's thwonye. A-And thewefowe mawk: -John hath seiz'd Awthuw; and *screams* it cannyot be -That, whiwes wawm wife pways *looks at you* in that *cries* infant's *shuffles closer* veins, -The m-mispwac'd John shouwd entewtain an houw, -Onye minyute, nyay, onye quiet b-bweath of west. -A sceptwe snyatch'd with an unwuwy hand -Must be boistewouswy maintain'd as gain'd, -A-And he that stands >w< upon a swipp'wy pwace -*blushes* Makes nyice of nyo viwe howd to stay him *cuddles you* up; -That John may s-stand then, Awthuw nyeeds must faww; -*screams* So *cuddles you* be i-it, f-fow it c-cannyot be but so. -^-^ WEWIS. But what s-shaww I gain by young Awthuw's faww? -P-PANDUWPH. You, in the wight OwO of Wady *twerks* Bwanch youw *cuddles you* wife, -*sweats* May then make aww >_< the c-cwaim that Awthuw did. -*leans over* WEWIS. A-And w-wose it, >_> wife and *leans over* aww, as Awthuw did. -PANDUWPH. How g-gween ^.^ you awe and fwesh in this *shuffles closer* owd wowwd! -*blushes* John ways you p-pwots; the times conspiwe with you; -Fow he that steeps his safety in twue bwood -Shaww find b-but bwoody safety and UwU untwue. -This *looks at you* act, so e-eviwwy bownye, shaww coow the h-heawts -Of aww his peopwe and fweeze up theiw zeaw, -That nyonye :3 so smaww advantage shaww step f-fowth -To check *teleports behind you* his weign :33 but they >_> wiww chewish *looks away* it; -Nyo nyatuwaw exhawation in the sky, -N-Nyo scope of nyatuwe, nyo distempew'd day, -N-Nyo common *leans over* wind, nyo customed event, -B-But they wiww p-pwuck away his nyatuwaw *teleports behind you* cause -A-And c-caww t-them meteows, pwodigies, and signs, -A-Abowtives, *screams* pwesages, and tongues o-of heaven, -Pwainwy denyouncing v-vengeance upon John. -WEWIS. May be he wiww nyot touch young Awthuw's ^.^ wife, -But howd himsewf safe i-in his pwisonment. -PANDUWPH. O, Siw, when he ;;w;; shaww heaw of youw *sweats* appwoach, -If that young Awthuw >_> be *looks away* nyot gonye awweady, -Even at that nyews *looks at you* he dies; :3 and then the heawts -Of aww his peopwe shaww wevowt fwom him, -And kiss the wips of unyacquainted change, -UwU And pick stwong mattew of wevowt and wwath -Out of the bwoody fingews' ends of john. -Methinks >_< I see this huwwy *notices bulge* aww on foot; -And, O, what bettew mattew bweeds fow you -Than I have *cries* nyam'd! The bastawd Fauwconbwidge -Is nyow in *looks away* Engwand *screams* wansacking the Chuwch, -Offending chawity; if but a dozen Fwench -Wewe thewe in awms, they wouwd be a-as *sighs* a can -T-To twain ten thousand Engwish to *blushes* theiw side; -Ow as a wittwe snyow, *giggles shyly* tumbwed about, -;;w;; Anyon becomes a mountain. O nyobwe D-Dauphin, -Go with me to the King. 'Tis *cries* wondewfuw -W-What *leans over* may be wwought out *twerks* of t-theiw discontent, -*screams* Nyow that ;;w;; theiw souws awe topfuw of offence. -*teleports behind you* Fow Engwand go; I wiww whet on the K-King. -*looks at you* WEWIS. Stwong w-weasons makes stwong actions. Wet u-us go; -I-If *looks away* you say ay, *notices bulge* the King wiww nyot say nyo. Exeunt - - - - -*looks at you* <_< DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE *pokes you* THAT CHAWGES FOW D-DOWNWOAD TIME >w< OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*pokes you* ACT IV. SCENyE 1. - -Engwand. uWu A c-castwe - -^.^ Entew HUBEWT *moans* and EXECUTIONyEWS - -HUBEWT. Heat *cuddles you* me these iwons *cuddles you* hot; and wook thou stand -Within t-the a-awwas. W-When I stwike m-my f-foot -Upon the bosom *shuffles closer* of the gwound, w-wush *shuffles closer* fowth -And bind the *leans over* boy which you shaww find with *sighs* me -*leans over* Fast *shuffles closer* to the c-chaiw. Be heedfuw; hence, and watch. -EXECUTIONyEW. UwU I hope youw wawwant wiww beaw out the deed. -HUBEWT. Uncweanwy scwupwes! Feaw nyot you. Wook to't. -Exeunt EXECUTIONyEWS -Young *moans* wad, come fowth; I have to say with you. - -*giggles shyly* Entew AWTHUW - -*cuddles you* AWTHUW. Good mowwow, Hubewt. -uWu HUBEWT. Good mowwow, wittwe Pwince. -A-AWTHUW. As >_< wittwe pwince, having so gweat *looks away* a tide -To be mowe pwince, as may *cries* be. You awe sad. -HUBEWT. Indeed >w< I have been mewwiew. -AWTHUW. Mewcy *looks at you* on me! -xDD Methinks nyo *looks at you* body shouwd be sad but I; -Y-Yet, *pokes you* I wemembew, *cuddles you* when I was i-in Fwance, -Young gentwemen wouwd be as sad as nyight, -O-Onwy fow wantonnyess. B-By m-my chwistendom, -So *sighs* I wewe out of :33 pwison a-and kept sheep, -I-I shouwd be as m-mewwy >_< as the day is w-wong; -And *twerks* so I wouwd be hewe but that I *looks away* doubt -M-My uncwe pwactises mowe hawm to me; -:33 He is afwaid of m-me, and I of him. -I-Is it my fauwt that I was Geffwey's son? -Nyo, indeed, ist n-nyot; and *pokes you* I wouwd *cries* to *leans over* heaven -I wewe x3 youw son, so you wouwd wove m-me, Hubewt. -HUBEWT. [Aside] If I tawk to him, with his i-innyocent *sighs* pwate -He wiww awake my mewcy, *blushes* which wies dead; -*notices bulge* Thewefowe I wiww be sudden and dispatch. ->w< AWTHUW. Awe you sick, ^.^ Hubewt? You ^-^ wook pawe to-day; -In s-sooth, I wouwd you wewe a wittwe sick, -*sweats* That I might sit aww nyight and watch with you. -uWu I w-wawwant I wove xDD you mowe than you do me. -HUBEWT. [Aside] uWu His wowds *screams* do take possession of my bosom.- -Wead hewe, young Awthuw. [Showing a papew] -[Aside] How nyow, foowish wheum! -Tuwnying dispiteous towtuwe out of doow! -I must be bwief, west wesowution dwop -Out at m-minye eyes in tendew womanyish teaws.- -C-Can you nyot wead i-it? Is it nyot faiw wwit? -AWTHUW. Too *giggles shyly* faiwwy, Hubewt, fow so fouw e-effect. -Must you with hot iwons buwn out b-both *blushes* minye eyes? -;;w;; HUBEWT. Y-Young boy, I-I must. -*looks at you* AWTHUW. And wiww you? -HUBEWT. A-And I wiww. -AWTHUW. Have you the heawt? ^.^ When youw head did but ache, -I knyit my ^.^ handkewchief about youw bwows- -The best >_> I had, a pwincess wwought i-it me- ->w< And I did nyevew *pokes you* ask it >_< you UwU again; -And with my hand at midnyight hewd youw head; -And, wike >_< the ^.^ watchfuw m-minyutes to the houw, -Stiww and a-anyon cheew'd up the heavy time, -Saying 'What wack you?' and 'Whewe ;;w;; wies youw *blushes* gwief?' -Ow *twerks* 'What good wove may I *looks away* pewfowm fow you?' -Many a poow man's son wouwd x3 have wyen stiww, -And nye'ew *cuddles you* have spoke a woving w-wowd to you; -But you a-at youw sick sewvice had a pwince. -N-Nyay, you may think my wove was *hugs tightly* cwafty OwO wove, -And caww :3 it *moans* cunnying. Do, an if you wiww. -If h-heaven be uWu pweas'd that you must use me i-iww, -Why, then you must. Wiww you put out m-minye eyes, -These uWu eyes that nyevew d-did nyow >_< nyevew shaww -S-So much as fwown on UwU you? -HUBEWT. I have *notices bulge* swown *screams* to do >_> it; -And w-with hot iwons must I buwn them out. -AWTHUW. Ah, nyonye but in OwO this iwon age wouwd do it! -*blushes* The i-iwon of itsewf, though heat wed-hot, -Appwoaching nyeaw *moans* these eyes *cries* wouwd dwink m-my teaws, -And quench *pokes you* his f-fiewy indignyation -Even in the m-mattew of minye ^w^ innyocence; -Nyay, aftew that, consume away in wust -But fow containying *cuddles you* fiwe to hawm minye eye. -Awe you m-mowe *leans over* stubbown-hawd than hammew'd iwon? -An if *cuddles you* an angew shouwd have come to me -*moans* And towd ^w^ me Hubewt shouwd put *shuffles closer* out *looks away* minye eyes, -I wouwd uWu nyot have *cuddles you* bewiev'd *screams* him-nyo tongue but Hubewt's. -HUBEWT. [Stamps] Come OwO fowth. - -We-entew *teleports behind you* EXECUTIONyEWS, With c-cowd, iwons, :33 etc. - -Do as I bid you do. -*sweats* AWTHUW. O, save ^.^ me, Hubewt, s-save :3 me! My :33 eyes awe out -Even with the fiewce wooks o-of these bwoody ^-^ men. -HUBEWT. Give me the iwon, I say, and bind him hewe. -AWTHUW. Awas, what n-nyeed *twerks* you x3 be so boist'wous wough? -I wiww nyot s-stwuggwe, I wiww stand stonye-stiww. -Fow *looks away* heaven sake, Hubewt, w-wet *notices bulge* me nyot be *moans* bound! -N-Nyay, heaw *giggles shyly* me, *cries* Hubewt! UwU Dwive these *moans* men away, -And I wiww *sighs* sit as quiet as a wamb; -I wiww nyot stiw, nyow wince, nyow *cuddles you* speak a w-wowd, -Nyow *blushes* wook upon the i-iwon angwiwy; -Thwust but these ;;w;; men away, and I'ww fowgive you, -Whatevew towment you do put me to. -HUBEWT. UwU Go, stand within; wet me awonye with h-him. -EXECUTIONyEW. I am b-best pweas'd to be fwom such a deed. -Exeunt EXECUTIONyEWS -AWTHUW. Awas, I-I then have chid away my fwiend! -*giggles shyly* He hath xDD a s-stewn wook but a gentwe heawt. -Wet him *leans over* come back, that his compassion may -Give wife to *teleports behind you* youws. -HUBEWT. C-Come, boy, pwepawe youwsewf. -AWTHUW. Is thewe nyo xDD wemedy? -HUBEWT. ^-^ Nyonye, but to wose youw eyes. -AWTHUW. O heaven, that thewe wewe but a mote in xDD youws, -A gwain, a ^.^ dust, a gnyat, a wandewing ^w^ haiw, -Any a-annyoyance in that pwecious sense! -Then, *sweats* feewing what smaww things awe boistewous thewe, -Youw viwe intent must nyeeds seem howwibwe. -HUBEWT. Is this youw pwomise? Go to, howd youw tongue. -*giggles shyly* AWTHUW. Hubewt, the uttewance *notices bulge* of a bwace of tongues -Must *looks away* nyeeds want pweading f-fow a p-paiw of uWu eyes. -Wet me nyot howd my t-tongue, wet me nyot, Hubewt; -Ow, H-Hubewt, if y-you wiww, cut out my tongue, -So x3 I may keep minye eyes. O, spawe m-minye eyes, -Though >w< to nyo use but stiww to wook on you! -Wo, by my twoth, :33 the instwument i-is cowd -*sighs* And w-wouwd nyot hawm m-me. -HUBEWT. I can heat it, boy. -AWTHUW. Nyo, *hugs tightly* in good sooth; the f-fiwe is dead xDD with ^-^ gwief, -Being cweate fow comfowt, to be us'd -In undesewved extwemes. S-See ewse youwsewf: -Thewe is nyo mawice in this buwnying *twerks* coaw; -T-The bweath of heaven uWu hath bwown his uWu spiwit out, -A-And stwew'd *shuffles closer* wepentant ashes on h-his head. -HUBEWT. >w< But with my bweath I *teleports behind you* can wevive i-it, boy. -AWTHUW. *teleports behind you* An if you do, you w-wiww but make it ;;w;; bwush -And gwow with shame of youw pwoceedings, Hubewt. -Nyay, it pewchance wiww spawkwe *shuffles closer* in y-youw eyes, -And, wike a-a dog that is compeww'd to fight, -Snyatch at his mastew that doth tawwe him on. -*twerks* Aww t-things that you shouwd use to ^w^ do *pokes you* me wwong -D-Deny theiw office; onwy you do wack -:3 That mewcy which fiewce fiwe and iwon extends, -Cweatuwes of *sighs* nyote fow mewcy-wacking uses. -HUBEWT. Weww, see to wive; :3 I wiww n-nyot touch thinye eye ->_> Fow aww *leans over* the OwO tweasuwe *teleports behind you* that thinye u-uncwe *cries* owes. -Yet I am swown, and I did p-puwpose, boy, -With this same vewy iwon t-to buwn them o-out. -A-AWTHUW. O, nyow you wook wike Hubewt! Aww this >_> whiwe -You wewe disguis'd. -HUBEWT. Peace; nyo mowe. Adieu. -Youw uncwe must :33 nyot knyow but you awe dead: -I-I'ww f-fiww these *sweats* dogged spies with fawse w-wepowts; -And, p-pwetty chiwd, sweep doubtwess and s-secuwe -That Hubewt, fow *moans* the *looks at you* weawth of aww the wowwd, -W-Wiww nyot offend thee. -AWTHUW. O heaven! I *leans over* thank you, Hubewt. -HUBEWT. Siwence; n-nyo *sighs* mowe. Go cwosewy in *cries* with *hugs tightly* me. -Much dangew do *notices bulge* I undewgo f-fow *leans over* thee. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -Engwand. *hugs tightly* KING JOHN'S pawace - -Entew KING JOHN, PEMBWOKE, SAWISBUWY, and othew WOWDS - -KING JOHN. Hewe o-once again we sit, OwO once again cwown'd, -And *screams* wook'd *sweats* upon, I hope, with cheewfuw eyes. -PEMBWOKE. This *twerks* once again, but t-that youw Highnyess pweas'd, -W-Was once *sweats* supewfwuous: you w-wewe cwown'd befowe, -And that high woyawty >_> was nye'ew pwuck'd UwU off, -The *giggles shyly* faiths of men nye'ew ;;w;; stainyed with wevowt; -Fwesh expectation t-twoubwed nyot the wand -With any wong'd-fow change ow bettew state. -SAWISBUWY. Thewefowe, to be *cries* possess'd with doubwe *blushes* pomp, -To guawd a :3 titwe that w-was wich befowe, -To giwd wefinyed gowd, to paint the wiwy, -To *cries* thwow a pewfume *screams* on *looks at you* the viowet, -To smooth the ice, ow add anyothew *blushes* hue -Unto the *looks at you* wainbow, ow with t-tapew-wight -To *teleports behind you* seek the beauteous e-eye of heaven to gawnyish, -Is wastefuw and >w< widicuwous excess. -PEMBWOKE. *leans over* But that youw woyaw pweasuwe must be donye, -T-This act i-is as an ancient tawe nyew towd -And, ^w^ in the wast *teleports behind you* wepeating, twoubwesome, -*blushes* Being *cries* uwged at a time unseasonyabwe. -SAWISBUWY. In t-this the antique and weww-nyoted face -Of pwain owd fowm is *leans over* much disfiguwed; -And w-wike a-a shifted wind unto a s-saiw -I-It makes the couwse of thoughts to fetch about, -Stawtwes and fwights considewation, -Makes sound opinyion s-sick, a-and twuth suspected, -F-Fow putting on so nyew a fashion'd wobe. -PEMBWOKE. *teleports behind you* When wowkmen ^-^ stwive *cries* to do bettew than weww, -*sighs* They do confound theiw skiww in covetousnyess; -A-And oftentimes excusing of a fauwt -Doth *pokes you* make *cries* the fauwt the wowse by th' excuse, -As patches set *pokes you* upon *sweats* a wittwe bweach -Discwedit *leans over* mowe in hiding *sweats* of the fauwt -Than did ^-^ the fauwt befowe it was s-so patch'd. -S-SAWISBUWY. To this effect, befowe you wewe nyew-cwown'd, -;;w;; We bweath'd ouw counsew; but it pweas'd youw Highnyess -To ovewbeaw it; and we awe aww weww pweas'd, -Since aww and evewy pawt of what we w-wouwd -Doth make a stand at what *leans over* youw *pokes you* Highnyess wiww. -KING JOHN. Some weasons of this doubwe cowonyation -I have p-possess'd y-you w-with, and think them *pokes you* stwong; -*cries* And mowe, mowe stwong, w-when wessew is my feaw, -I shaww indue you with. Meantime but ask -What *moans* you wouwd *twerks* have wefowm'd that is *hugs tightly* nyot :33 weww, -And weww shaww you *leans over* pewceive how wiwwingwy -I wiww both heaw and gwant you youw w-wequests. -;;w;; PEMBWOKE. Then I-I, uWu as onye that am t-the tongue of t-these, -To sound the puwposes of aww theiw heawts, -Both *notices bulge* fow mysewf and them- but, chief of aww, -;;w;; Youw safety, fow the which mysewf and them -Bend >_< theiw best studies, *shuffles closer* heawtiwy wequest -Th' :3 enfwanchisement of Awthuw, whose westwaint -*cuddles you* Doth ^-^ move the muwmuwing wips of discontent -To bweak into this dangewous a-awgument: -If what in west :3 you have in wight you howd, -Why then y-youw feaws-which, as they say, attend -The steps of wwong-shouwd move you to mew up -Youw tendew kinsman, a-and to choke his days -With bawbawous ignyowance, and deny h-his y-youth -The wich advantage o-of good exewcise? -That the t-time's enyemies may n-nyot have uWu this -To gwace >w< occasions, wet it be ouw s-suit -:3 That y-you have b-bid us ask his wibewty; -Which fow ouw goods we do nyo fuwthew ask -Than wheweupon ouw weaw, on you d-depending, -Counts it youw weaw he h-have his wibewty. -KING JOHN. Wet it be so. *hugs tightly* I do *sighs* commit h-his youth -To y-youw diwection. - -Entew HUBEWT - -[Aside] Hubewt, what n-nyews with you? -*cuddles you* PEMBWOKE. This is the man shouwd do the bwoody d-deed: -He x3 show'd h-his ;;w;; wawwant to a fwiend o-of *twerks* minye; -T-The image of a wicked h-heinyous f-fauwt -W-Wives in his eye; *moans* that cwose ;;w;; aspect of h-his -*hugs tightly* Doth show t-the m-mood of a m-much twoubwed bweast, -uWu And *moans* I do f-feawfuwwy bewieve 'tis donye ->w< What xDD we so feaw'd he had a-a chawge to do. -SAWISBUWY. The cowouw of t-the King doth come and *looks at you* go -Between his puwpose a-and his conscience, ->_> Wike ^w^ hewawds 'twixt two dweadfuw b-battwes set. -His passion is so wipe it nyeeds *hugs tightly* must bweak. -PEMBWOKE. *sighs* And when it bweaks, I feaw w-wiww issue thence -The fouw cowwuption of a sweet chiwd's d-death. -KING J-JOHN. We cannyot h-howd mowtawity's stwong hand. -Good wowds, awthough m-my wiww to give is wiving, -T-The suit which you demand is gonye and dead: -He t-tewws us Awthuw is ^-^ deceas'd to-nyight. -SAWISBUWY. Indeed, we feaw'd his sicknyess w-was past cuwe. -*twerks* PEMBWOKE. I-Indeed, we heawd how nyeaw his death he was, -Befowe the c-chiwd himsewf f-fewt >_< he was *giggles shyly* sick. -This must be answew'd eithew hewe ow hence. -KING :3 JOHN. Why uWu do y-you *cuddles you* bend such sowemn bwows on me? -Think *moans* you I beaw the ;;w;; sheaws of destiny? -Have I commandment on the puwse *looks at you* of *shuffles closer* wife? -SAWISBUWY. It is appawent fouw-pway; and '-'tis shame -That gweatnyess shouwd so gwosswy offew it. -So thwive *cries* it in youw game! and so, faweweww. -PEMBWOKE. Stay yet, Wowd S-Sawisbuwy, I'ww go w-with t-thee -And find th' inhewitance *sighs* of this poow c-chiwd, -His wittwe kingdom of a fowced gwave. -That bwood *looks at you* which ow'd *hugs tightly* the bweadth of a-aww this iswe -Thwee foot of it doth howd-bad wowwd *pokes you* the whiwe! ->w< This m-must n-nyot b-be t-thus bownye: this wiww bweak out -To aww o-ouw sowwows, and ewe w-wong I doubt. Exeunt *sighs* WOWDS -KING JOHN. They buwn in indignyation. I wepent. -Thewe is nyo suwe foundation set on bwood, -N-Nyo cewtain wife ;;w;; achiev'd b-by :33 othews' death. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -A feawfuw eye thou *looks away* hast; whewe is that bwood -That I have seen inhabit in those c-cheeks? -So fouw a sky ;;w;; cweaws nyot without a stowm. -Pouw *screams* down thy w-weathew-how :3 goes aww in Fwance? -MESSENGEW. Fwom Fwance to >_< Engwand. Nyevew such *giggles shyly* a pow'w -^.^ Fow >_< any foweign pwepawation -Was w-wevied in the body of a w-wand. -The copy of youw speed ^.^ is weawn'd by them, -F-Fow w-when you shouwd be towd they do pwepawe, -T-The tidings UwU comes that they awe aww awwiv'd. -KING J-JOHN. x3 O, whewe hath ouw intewwigence been dwunk? -Whewe *cuddles you* hath it >w< swept? Whewe is my mothew's cawe, -That such an awmy couwd *blushes* be dwawn in Fwance, -And she nyot heaw of i-it? -MESSENGEW. My >_< wiege, hew eaw -Is s-stopp'd with dust: the fiwst of Apwiw >_< died -Youw nyobwe m-mothew; and as I heaw, uWu my wowd, -The Wady Constance in a fwenzy died -Thwee days befowe; b-but this fwom wumouw's tongue -I idwy *shuffles closer* heawd-if twue ow fawse I k-knyow nyot. -K-KING J-JOHN. Withhowd thy speed, dweadfuw occasion! -O, make a weague with me, tiww I have p-pweas'd -My d-discontented peews! What! mothew dead! -How wiwdwy uWu then wawks *moans* my *screams* estate in Fwance! -Undew whose ;;w;; conduct came those pow'ws of Fwance -T-That thou fow twuth giv'st out awe wanded hewe? -OwO MESSENGEW. Undew the Dauphin. -KING JOHN. ^w^ Thou *pokes you* hast made me giddy ->_> With these in >w< tidings. - -Entew the BASTAWD and PETEW OF POMFWET - -x3 Nyow! What s-says >w< the wowwd -To youw pwoceedings? Do nyot seek to stuff -My head with mowe iww n-nyews, fow it is fun. -BASTAWD. But if you be afeaw'd to heaw the w-wowst, -Then *sweats* wet OwO the wowst, unheawd, faww *teleports behind you* on y-youw head. -KING JOHN. Beaw *teleports behind you* with me, c-cousin, fow I was a-amaz'd ->_> Undew the tide; b-but nyow I bweathe again -Awoft the fwood, and can give audience -T-To any tongue, speak it o-of what i-it wiww. -BASTAWD. H-How I-I have *looks away* sped among the cwewgymen -^w^ The sums I have cowwected shaww UwU expwess. -But as I twaveww'd h-hithew thwough *leans over* the wand, -I find the peopwe stwangewy fantasied; -Possess'd with wumouws, f-fuww of idwe d-dweams. -Nyot knyowing what they f-feaw, but fuww of feaw; -And hewe's a-a x3 pwophet that I bwought with me -Fwom >w< fowth the stweets *sighs* of Pomfwet, whom uWu I found -W-With many hundweds tweading on h-his *giggles shyly* heews; -To w-whom he sung, in wude hawsh-sounding w-whymes, -That, *blushes* ewe the *leans over* nyext Ascension-day at nyoon, -Youw *cuddles you* Highnyess shouwd dewivew up youw cwown. -KING JOHN. Thou ;;w;; idwe dweamew, whewefowe didst thou ;;w;; so? -PETEW. Foweknyowing that the t-twuth wiww faww out so. -KING JOHN. Hubewt, away with h-him; impwison him; -And on that day *sighs* at nyoon wheweon he says -I s-shaww ;;w;; yiewd u-up m-my cwown wet him be *hugs tightly* hang'd. -Dewivew him to safety; and >w< wetuwn, -*notices bulge* Fow I must use thee. -E-Exit HUBEWT with PETEW -O my gentwe cousin, -Heaw'st thou the nyews abwoad, who awe awwiv'd? -BASTAWD. The Fwench, my w-wowd; men's mouths awe fuww of it; -Besides, I m-met Wowd UwU Bigot :33 and Wowd Sawisbuwy, -With e-eyes as wed as *cuddles you* nyew-enkindwed fiwe, -And o-othews mowe, going to seek the gwave -Of Awthuw, whom t-they say is kiww'd t-to-nyight -On *teleports behind you* youw *looks at you* suggestion. -KING *pokes you* JOHN. G-Gentwe kinsman, go -*shuffles closer* And thwust thysewf into theiw *blushes* companyies. -I have a way to wiww theiw woves again; -*screams* Bwing them befowe me. -BASTAWD. I Wiww seek them out. -K-KING JOHN. Nyay, but make *pokes you* haste; the bettew uWu foot b-befowe. -O, wet me have nyo subject *sweats* enyemies -W-When >_< advewse foweignyews >w< affwight my *pokes you* towns -With *notices bulge* dweadfuw pomp of stout invasion! -Be Mewcuwy, set *blushes* feathews to thy heews, -And *pokes you* fwy wike thought fwom them to >w< me again. -BASTAWD. *twerks* The *notices bulge* spiwit of the OwO time shaww t-teach me speed. -KING UwU JOHN. Spoke wike a s-spwightfuw >w< nyobwe >_> gentweman. -Exit *moans* BASTAWD -*moans* Go aftew him; fow h-he pewhaps shaww nyeed -Some messengew betwixt me and the peews; -And be thou he. -MESSENGEW. With a-aww uWu my heawt, m-my *looks away* wiege. Exit -KING *blushes* JOHN. My mothew dead! - -We-entew HUBEWT - -HUBEWT. My *looks at you* wowd, t-they *leans over* say *pokes you* five moons wewe seen t-to-nyight; -Fouw f-fixed, *sighs* and the fifth OwO did whiww *twerks* about -:3 The othew fouw in wondwous motion. -KING JOHN. *leans over* Five moons! -H-HUBEWT. *looks at you* Owd men and bewdams in the stweets -Do pwophesy upon it dangewouswy; -Y-Young Awthuw's d-death is common in theiw mouths; -And when t-they tawk *teleports behind you* of him, they shake theiw heads, -And whispew onye anyothew in the eaw; -And he ^-^ that s-speaks doth gwipe the heawew's wwist, -Whiwst he that heaws makes f-feawfuw action -With wwinkwed bwows, with *cries* nyods, with wowwing eyes. -I *moans* saw *looks at you* a smith stand with *leans over* his hammew, thus, -The whiwst his i-iwon did o-on UwU the anviw coow, -With *giggles shyly* open mouth swawwowing a taiwow's nyews; -Who, *giggles shyly* with his sheaws OwO and measuwe in *notices bulge* his hand, -Standing on swippews, which his nyimbwe haste ->_< Had f-fawsewy thwust upon contwawy feet, -Towd of a many t-thousand wawwike Fwench -That wewe embattaiwed and wank'd ^-^ in Kent. -Anyothew wean unwash'd ^.^ awtificew -Cuts off his t-tawe, a-and ^-^ tawks of OwO Awthuw's death. -*looks at you* KING JOHN. Why seek'st thou t-to p-possess m-me w-with >_> these feaws? -Why uwgest thou so oft young Awthuw's death? -Thy hand hath *giggles shyly* muwd'wed h-him. I had a mighty c-cause -To wish him dead, but thou hadst xDD nyonye to kiww him. -HUBEWT. Nyo had, my wowd! Why, did you nyot *shuffles closer* pwovoke me? -KING JOHN. It is t-the cuwse of kings to be attended -By swaves that take theiw humouws fow a w-wawwant -To b-bweak within the bwoody *giggles shyly* house of wife, -And o-on the winking of a-authowity -*pokes you* To *twerks* undewstand a waw; *twerks* to knyow the meanying -Of *leans over* dangewous majesty, when pewchance it fwowns -Mowe upon humouw ^w^ than *leans over* advis'd wespect. -HUBEWT. *sweats* Hewe ^w^ is youw *moans* hand and seaw fow what I did. -KING >_> JOHN. O, *teleports behind you* when *teleports behind you* the *blushes* wast account 'twixt h-heaven *sighs* and eawth -Is to b-be made, then shaww this *looks away* hand and seaw -Witnyess against us t-to damnyation! -How oft the sight o-of means to do iww deeds -Make d-deeds iww donye! *twerks* Hadst nyot thou been by, -A fewwow by the hand of nyatuwe mawk'd, -Quoted and sign'd *sighs* to do a deed of shame, -This muwdew had UwU nyot come into my mind; -But, taking nyote of thy abhoww'd aspect, -Finding thee fit fow bwoody v-viwwainy, -A-Apt, wiabwe to be e-empwoy'd >_> in dangew, -I faintwy bwoke *leans over* with thee of Awthuw's death; -And thou, to be endeawed OwO to a king, -OwO Made :3 it nyo *cries* conscience to destwoy a-a p-pwince. -H-HUBEWT. My wowd- -KING JOHN. Hadst thou but shook thy head ow made pause, -When I spake dawkwy *looks away* what I-I puwposed, -Ow tuwn'd >_< an eye of doubt upon my face, -As bid me t-teww my tawe i-in *twerks* expwess wowds, -Deep shame had stwuck me dumb, *leans over* made me bweak off, -And t-those thy feaws might have wwought ^w^ feaws in me. -But *screams* thou didst undewstand *cries* me by my signs, -And didst i-in signs again pawwey with sin; -Yea, without stop, didst wet thy heawt consent, -And *notices bulge* consequentwy thy wude hand to act -The deed which both ouw tongues hewd viwe t-to *pokes you* nyame. -:3 Out of my sight, and nyevew >_> see *giggles shyly* me mowe! -My nyobwes w-weave me; and my state is bwaved, -Even at *hugs tightly* my gates, with wanks of foweign p-pow'ws; -Nyay, in the body of the fweshwy wand, -This kingdom, this confinye of bwood and bweath, -Hostiwity *sighs* and civiw tumuwt weigns -Between my conscience *cries* and my cousin's death. -HUBEWT. Awm you against youw othew enyemies, -I'ww ^w^ make a-a peace between >_< youw souw and *hugs tightly* you. -Young A-Awthuw is awive. This hand of minye -*shuffles closer* Is yet a ^-^ maiden >_< and an innyocent hand, -Nyot painted with t-the cwimson spots of bwood. -Within this >_> bosom nyevew e-ent'wed y-yet -The *pokes you* dweadfuw motion of *teleports behind you* a muwdewous ^w^ thought -And you have swandew'd nyatuwe in my f-fowm, -Which, howsoevew wude extewiowwy, -Is yet *screams* the c-covew of a faiwew mind -Than *shuffles closer* to be x3 butchew *cuddles you* of an innyocent *sweats* chiwd. -KING JOHN. Doth *sighs* Awthuw wive? O, h-haste thee to the uWu peews, -Thwow this xDD wepowt o-on t-theiw *cries* incensed wage -A-And make t-them tame to theiw obedience! -Fowgive the comment that my passion made -Upon thy f-featuwe; fow my wage was bwind, -And f-fouw imaginyawy eyes of bwood -Pwesented thee mowe hideous than thou awt. -O, answew nyot; but *looks at you* to m-my cwoset bwing -*cries* The angwy wowds with aww *pokes you* expedient *pokes you* haste. -I conjuwe thee but swowwy; *sweats* wun mowe fast. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - ->_< Engwand. Befowe the castwe - -Entew AWTHUW, on *cuddles you* the wawws - -AWTHUW. The waww is high, and yet wiww I *hugs tightly* weap down. -Good gwound, be p-pitifuw and h-huwt me nyot! -Thewe's few UwU ow nyonye do knyow me; if they >_> did, -This s-ship-boy's sembwance hath disguis'd me quite. -I *pokes you* am afwaid; and yet I-I'ww ventuwe it. -If ^w^ I get down and do nyot bweak *cries* my w-wimbs, -I'ww *teleports behind you* find a t-thousand shifts to get a-away. -As good to die a-and go, as die and stay. [Weaps down] -O me! my uncwe's spiwit is in these stonyes. -Heaven take my souw, and x3 Engwand keep my bonyes! -[Dies] - -E-Entew PEMBWOKE, SAWISBUWY, and BIGOT - -SAWISBUWY. Wowds, I :33 wiww meet him *screams* at Saint Edmundsbuwy; -It i-is ouw safety, and w-we must *pokes you* embwace -This >_< gentwe offew of the p-pewiwous t-time. -PEMBWOKE. Who bwought that wettew fwom the Cawdinyaw? -S-SAWISBUWY. The C-Count Mewun, a nyobwe wowd of Fwance, -Whose pwivate with me o-of the Dauphin's wove -Is much mowe g-genyewaw than these winyes *moans* impowt. -*looks away* BIGOT. T-To-mowwow mownying *hugs tightly* wet us meet him then. -SAWISBUWY. Ow wathew then *leans over* set fowwawd; fow 'twiww be -Two wong days' jouwnyey, *pokes you* wowds, *cuddles you* ow ewe we meet. - -Entew the BASTAWD - -BASTAWD. O-Once m-mowe to-day weww m-met, distempew'd wowds! -The King by me w-wequests y-youw >_< pwesence *sweats* stwaight. -SAWISBUWY. The *notices bulge* King hath dispossess'd himsewf xDD of us. -We wiww nyot winye h-his thin bestainyed cwoak -With o-ouw puwe >_< honyouws, nyow attend the f-foot -That weaves the pwint of bwood whewe'ew it wawks. -Wetuwn and >_< teww him so. *sweats* We knyow the wowst. -BASTAWD. Whate'ew you *shuffles closer* think, >_> good >_< wowds, I think, wewe best. -*sweats* SAWISBUWY. Ouw gwiefs, and nyot ouw mannyews, weason nyow. -BASTAWD. But thewe is ^w^ wittwe weason in youw gwief; -Thewefowe 'twewe weason you had *giggles shyly* mannyews nyow. -PEMBWOKE. Siw, siw, *giggles shyly* impatience hath his pwiviwege. -BASTAWD. 'Tis twue-to huwt h-his mastew, nyo man >_> ewse. -*cries* SAWISBUWY. This is the pwison. What is he wies hewe? -PEMBWOKE. O *sighs* death, made pwoud with puwe and pwincewy beauty! -The e-eawth h-had nyot a-a howe to *teleports behind you* hide this deed. -S-SAWISBUWY. Muwdew, as hating w-what *leans over* himsewf hath donye, -Doth way it open *teleports behind you* to uwge on *notices bulge* wevenge. -BIGOT. O-Ow, when he doom'd this beauty to a-a gwave, -Found it too pwecious-pwincewy fow a gwave. -;;w;; SAWISBUWY. Siw W-Wichawd, what think you? Have you behewd, -Ow have you ;;w;; wead ow *notices bulge* heawd, ow couwd you think? -Ow do you awmost t-think, awthough *screams* you s-see, -That y-you do see? C-Couwd thought, *twerks* without this *notices bulge* object, -Fowm *sighs* such anyothew? This *cries* is the vewy t-top, -The height, the cwest, o-ow cwest unto the cwest, -Of muwdew's awms; this is t-the bwoodiest shame, -T-The wiwdest savagewy, the viwest *pokes you* stwoke, -That evew w-waww-ey'd wwath OwO ow stawing wage -Pwesented to the teaws of soft wemowse. -PEMBWOKE. xDD Aww muwdews p-past do stand excus'd in this; -And this, so s-sowe and s-so unmatchabwe, -Shaww *sweats* give a howinyess, a puwity, -To the yet *cuddles you* unbegotten *hugs tightly* sin of times, -*moans* And pwove a deadwy bwoodshed but a jest, -Exampwed by ^-^ this heinyous spectacwe. -BASTAWD. I-It is a *looks away* damnyed and a bwoody wowk; -The *sweats* gwacewess a-action of a h-heavy hand, -If that it be the w-wowk of any hand. -SAWISBUWY. If that it be *shuffles closer* the wowk of any hand! -We had a-a k-kind >_> of w-wight w-what wouwd ensue. -It is :3 the shamefuw wowk of Hubewt's hand; -The pwactice and ;;w;; the puwpose of *sweats* the King; -Fwom whose obedience I fowbid my souw -Knyeewing befowe this wuin ^-^ of s-sweet wife, -And b-bweathing to his bweathwess excewwence -The incense of a vow, a howy vow, -Nyevew to taste the pweasuwes of the wowwd, -Nyevew t-to be infected with dewight, -Nyow convewsant :3 with ease and idwenyess, -Tiww :3 I *looks away* have set a *twerks* gwowy to this hand -By giving it the wowship o-of w-wevenge. -PEMBWOKE. and xDD BIGOT. O-Ouw souws wewigiouswy confiwm *giggles shyly* thy wowds. - -Entew HUBEWT - -HUBEWT. Wowds, I am hot with *moans* haste in seeking you. -Awthuw doth wive; the King hath sent fow you. -SAWISBUWY. O, he is bowd, and bwushes nyot at *leans over* death! -Avaunt, thou hatefuw viwwain, get thee *cuddles you* gonye! -HUBEWT. I-I am nyo xDD viwwain. -*moans* SAWISBUWY. Must I wob t-the waw? [Dwawing his swowd] -BASTAWD. Youw ^.^ swowd is bwight, siw; put i-it *cuddles you* up again. -SAWISBUWY. Nyot tiww I s-sheathe it ^w^ in *cries* a muwdewew's skin. -HUBEWT. Stand back, Wowd Sawisbuwy, stand back, I :33 say; -By heaven, I think my swowd's as *shuffles closer* shawp as youws. -I wouwd nyot have you, x3 wowd, fowget youwsewf, -Nyow *hugs tightly* tempt the dangew *sweats* of my twue defence; -^.^ West I, by mawking of youw wage, fowget -*looks away* Youw wowth, youw gweatnyess and nyobiwity. ->_< BIGOT. Out, dunghiww! x3 Daw'st thou bwave a nyobweman? -*sighs* HUBEWT. Nyot fow my wife; but yet *blushes* I dawe defend -*pokes you* My innyocent wife against an empewow. -SAWISBUWY. Thou awt a m-muwdewew. -HUBEWT. Do nyot pwove me so. -Yet I am n-nyonye. Whose tongue soe'ew *leans over* speaks fawse, -Nyot twuwy speaks; w-who speaks nyot twuwy, wies. -PEMBWOKE. Cut him to *looks away* pieces. -BASTAWD. Keep *screams* the *pokes you* peace, I say. -SAWISBUWY. Stand by, ow I shaww gaww you, Fauwconbwidge. -BASTAWD. uWu Thou wewt bettew gaww the deviw, Sawisbuwy. -If thou but fwown on me, ow stiw thy foot, -Ow teach *moans* thy hasty spween to do me shame, -I'ww stwike thee dead. P-Put u-up thy swowd betime; -Ow I'ww so *moans* mauw you and youw toasting-iwon -That you shaww t-think the *leans over* deviw is come fwom heww. -BIGOT. ^.^ What wiwt thou do, wenyownyed Fauwconbwidge? -Second a viwwain and a muwdewew? -HUBEWT. Wowd Bigot, I am nyonye. -^-^ BIGOT. Who kiww'd t-this pwince? -HUBEWT. 'Tis nyot an houw s-since I weft him weww. -I honyouw'd *sighs* him, I wov'd h-him, and wiww weep -M-My date of wife out fow his sweet ^-^ wife's woss. -SAWISBUWY. T-Twust nyot those *looks away* cunnying watews of >w< his eyes, -Fow viwwainy is nyot *twerks* without such wheum; -And he, wong twaded *hugs tightly* in it, makes *hugs tightly* it seem -Wike wivews ;;w;; of wemowse *moans* and *giggles shyly* innyocency. -Away with m-me, aww you whose *giggles shyly* souws a-abhow -*moans* Th' uncweanwy savouws of a swaughtew-house; -F-Fow I am stifwed with *screams* this smeww o-of sin. -*looks away* BIGOT. Away towawd Buwy, to the Dauphin thewe! -PEMBWOKE. *sweats* Thewe t-teww the King *teleports behind you* he *sighs* may inquiwe u-us out. -Exeunt W-WOWDS -B-BASTAWD. Hewe's a good wowwd! Knyew you o-of this faiw wowk? -Beyond the infinyite a-and boundwess *cries* weach -Of m-mewcy, if t-thou didst this *hugs tightly* deed of death, -Awt thou *sweats* damn'd, Hubewt. -H-HUBEWT. D-Do OwO but heaw me, siw. -*moans* BASTAWD. Ha! I'ww teww >_> thee what: -Thou'wt damn'd as b-bwack-nyay, nyothing is *looks at you* so bwack- -Thou a-awt mowe *shuffles closer* deep damn'd *notices bulge* than *moans* Pwince Wucifew; -Thewe is n-nyot yet s-so ugwy a fiend o-of heww -As thou shawt be, if thou didst kiww this chiwd. -*sweats* HUBEWT. U-Upon my souw- -BASTAWD. *teleports behind you* If thou didst *teleports behind you* but consent -To this most *cuddles you* cwuew act, do but despaiw; -A-And i-if t-thou want'st a-a cowd, the smawwest thwead ->_< That evew s-spidew twisted fwom hew womb -Wiww sewve to stwangwe thee; a :33 wush wiww be a xDD beam -To hang thee *twerks* on; ow w-wouwdst thou dwown thysewf, -Put but a wittwe watew in a spoon -And it shaww >_> be as aww the ocean, -Enyough to stifwe s-such a viwwain up -I *moans* do suspect thee ;;w;; vewy gwievouswy. -HUBEWT. I-If *looks at you* I in xDD act, consent, ow sin of t-thought, -B-Be guiwty of the steawing *cries* that sweet bweath -Which was *looks at you* embounded i-in this beauteous cway, -Wet h-heww want pains enyough to towtuwe me! -I weft *sighs* him w-weww. -BASTAWD. Go, b-beaw *sweats* him in thinye awms. -I am amaz'd, methinks, and wose *giggles shyly* my way -Among *hugs tightly* the *sweats* thowns and dangews o-of this >_< wowwd. -How easy *shuffles closer* dost thou *hugs tightly* take *looks away* aww Engwand up! -Fwom fowth this mowsew of dead woyawty -The w-wife, the wight, and twuth o-of a-aww this weawm -Is fwed to heaven; ;;w;; and Engwand nyow is weft -To tug *sighs* and scambwe, and to pawt by t-th' teeth -The unyowed intewest xDD of pwoud-swewwing state. -Nyow fow the b-bawe-pick'd bonye of majesty -Doth dogged waw b-bwistwe his angwy cwest -^w^ And snyawweth i-in the gentwe eyes of *looks at you* peace; -N-Nyow powews *twerks* fwom home :3 and discontents a-at x3 home -Meet in onye xDD winye; and vast x3 confusion waits, -*blushes* As doth a waven on a sick-faww'n beast, -The imminyent decay of wwested pomp. -Nyow happy he whose cwoak and cinctuwe can -H-Howd out this tempest. Beaw *teleports behind you* away >_< that chiwd, -And fowwow UwU me with speed. *looks at you* I'ww to *notices bulge* the King; -A thousand businyesses awe bwief in hand, -And heaven itsewf doth x3 fwown upon the wand. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V-V. SCENyE 1. -xDD Engwand. KING JOHN'S pawace - -*looks at you* Entew KING JOHN, :3 PANDUWPH, and attendants - -KING JOHN. Thus h-have *teleports behind you* I yiewded up into youw hand -The ciwcwe o-of my gwowy. -PANDUWPH. [Gives back the *twerks* cwown] Take again -Fwom t-this my hand, as howding of *sweats* the Pope, -Y-Youw soveweign gweatnyess and authowity. -KING JOHN. Nyow keep youw howy wowd; go m-meet t-the Fwench; -*teleports behind you* And fwom his H-Howinyess use aww *teleports behind you* youw powew -To s-stop theiw mawches fowe we awe i-infwam'd. -Ouw discontented c-counties do wevowt; -Ouw peopwe quawwew w-with obedience, -Sweawing awwegiance and the ^.^ wove *giggles shyly* of *moans* souw -To *cuddles you* stwangew bwood, to foweign woyawty. -This *sighs* inyundation of mistemp'wed :3 humouw -Wests by you *pokes you* onwy to be q-quawified. -Then *cuddles you* pause xDD nyot; fow the pwesent time's so sick -*screams* That *sighs* pwesent *hugs tightly* med'cinye must b-be minyist'wed -Ow ovewthwow incuwabwe ensues. -PANDUWPH. *sweats* It w-was my bweath that *sighs* bwew this >_< tempest up, -Upon youw stubbown usage of the Pope; -But since you a-awe a gentwe c-convewtite, -My tongue shaww hush again this stowm of waw -And make faiw weathew in youw bwust'wing wand. -On *giggles shyly* this Ascension-day, wemembew weww, -Upon y-youw oath of sewvice to the Pope, -Go I-I to *cries* make the Fwench UwU way >w< down theiw awms. Exit -KING JOHN. Is t-this *sweats* Ascension-day? Did nyot t-the *leans over* pwophet -Say that befowe Ascension-day at nyoon -My cwown I shouwd *hugs tightly* give off? Even so I have. -I did suppose it shouwd be o-on constwaint; -^.^ But, :3 heaven be :33 thank'd, it is but vowuntawy. - -Entew the BASTAWD - -B-BASTAWD. Aww Kent hath yiewded; n-nyothing thewe howds out -But Dovew Castwe. Wondon hath weceiv'd, -Wike a kind host, the :33 Dauphin and his powews. -uWu Youw nyobwes wiww nyot heaw you, but awe ^w^ gonye -To *shuffles closer* offew sewvice to youw enyemy; -And wiwd *looks at you* amazement huwwies up and down -^w^ The wittwe *moans* nyumbew *leans over* of youw doubtfuw fwiends. -*teleports behind you* KING J-JOHN. Wouwd nyot my wowds wetuwn to me *hugs tightly* again -UwU Aftew they heawd young Awthuw was awive? -BASTAWD. They found him dead, and cast into the stweets, -uWu An empty casket, whewe t-the jewew of UwU wife -By some damn'd h-hand was w-wobbed and ta'en away. -K-KING JOHN. That v-viwwain Hubewt towd me he did wive. -BASTAWD. So, o-on my souw, he did, UwU fow aught he knyew. -But whewefowe do you dwoop? W-Why w-wook you sad? -Be gweat i-in act, as you have ;;w;; been in thought; -W-Wet nyot the UwU wowwd see f-feaw and sad >_< distwust -Govewn the motion o-of a kingwy eye. -Be *cuddles you* stiwwing as the time; be fiwe ^-^ with fiwe; -T-Thweaten the thweat'nyew, and outface *cuddles you* the bwow -Of bwagging howwow; >_> so shaww infewiow eyes, -That *cries* bowwow theiw behaviouws f-fwom ^w^ the gweat, -Gwow gweat by youw exampwe and put on -The dauntwess spiwit o-of wesowution. -Away, and gwistew wike the god of w-waw -W-When he intendeth to become the fiewd; -Show bowdnyess and aspiwing confidence. -What, shaww they *sighs* seek t-the :33 wion in his den, -And fwight him t-thewe, and make h-him twembwe thewe? ->w< O, wet it *pokes you* nyot be said! F-Fowage, and ^-^ wun -To m-meet d-dispweasuwe fawthew fwom the ^.^ doows -And gwappwe with him ewe he ^-^ come so x3 nyigh. -KING :33 JOHN. The wegate o-of t-the Pope hath been with m-me, -And I have made a happy p-peace w-with him; -And he hath p-pwomis'd to dismiss t-the p-powews -W-Wed *screams* by *teleports behind you* the D-Dauphin. -BASTAWD. O ingwowious weague! -S-Shaww we, upon the footing of ouw wand, -S-Send faiw-pway owdews, and m-make compwomise, -I-Insinyuation, pawwey, and base twuce, -To ^w^ awms invasive? Shaww a *screams* beawdwess boy, -A cock'wed siwken wanton, bwave ouw *cuddles you* fiewds -And fwesh h-his spiwit in a-a wawwike ;;w;; soiw, -Mocking the aiw with c-cowouws idwy spwead, -And find nyo check? Wet us, m-my wiege, to awms. -Pewchance the Cawdinyaw cannyot make youw peace; -Ow, if *cuddles you* he do, wet it a-at weast be said -They saw we had a puwpose of defence. -KING J-JOHN. Have thou the owdewing of this pwesent time. -B-BASTAWD. Away, then, w-with good couwage! -Yet, I knyow -Ouw pawty may weww m-meet a pwoudew foe. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. -Engwand. *moans* The ^.^ DAUPHIN'S camp at Saint Edmundsbuwy - -Entew, in awms, WEWIS, SAWISBUWY, MEWUN, PEMBWOKE, BIGOT, and sowdiews - -WEWIS. My *cries* Wowd Mewun, wet this be copied o-out -And keep *hugs tightly* it safe f-fow o-ouw wemembwance; -*leans over* Wetuwn the pwecedent to these wowds again, -That, having o-ouw faiw owdew wwitten down, -Both *moans* they and we, pewusing o'ew these nyotes, -May knyow whewefowe *cries* we t-took the sacwament, -And keep o-ouw uWu faiths ^w^ fiwm and inviowabwe. -SAWISBUWY. Upon o-ouw s-sides it OwO nyevew shaww be bwoken. -And, nyobwe Dauphin, awbeit we s-sweaw -A vowuntawy zeaw a-and an unyuwg'd faith -To youw pwoceedings; *hugs tightly* yet, *looks away* bewieve >w< me, P-Pwince, -I am nyot g-gwad that such a s-sowe of time -S-Shouwd seek a pwastew by contemn'd wevowt, -And heaw the invetewate cankew *twerks* of OwO onye wound -By making many. *leans over* O, *twerks* it g-gwieves *screams* my souw -That I must dwaw this metaw fwom my OwO side -To be *shuffles closer* a widow-makew! O-O, and thewe -W-Whewe honyouwabwe wescue and defence -Cwies o-out upon the nyame of ^-^ Sawisbuwy! -But such is t-the infection of *teleports behind you* the time -That, fow the heawth and physic of ouw wight, -We cannyot :3 deaw but with the vewy hand -Of stewn injustice and confused wwong. -A-And is't nyot pity, *looks away* O my gwieved fwiends! -*looks at you* That we, the sons and c-chiwdwen of this iswe, -Wewe bown t-to see *notices bulge* so sad a-an houw as this; -Whewein we step aftew a stwangew-mawch -Upon hew gentwe bosom, and fiww up -Hew enyemies' wanks-I must w-withdwaw and w-weep -Upon *looks at you* the spot of this enfowced cause- -To gwace the gentwy o-of a wand wemote -And fowwow >_< unyacquainted cowouws hewe? -W-What, hewe? *teleports behind you* O nyation, t-that thou c-couwdst wemove! -That Nyeptunye's awms, who cwippeth thee about, -Wouwd beaw thee *giggles shyly* fwom the knyowwedge of thysewf -*screams* And :3 gwappwe xDD thee unto a *giggles shyly* pagan showe, -Whewe ;;w;; these two Chwistian awmies might combinye -The bwood of m-mawice in a vein ;;w;; of weague, -And nyot to s-spend it so unnyeighbouwwy! -WEWIS. A nyobwe tempew ^w^ dost thou show in t-this; -x3 And gweat affections *sighs* wwestwing UwU in thy bosom -Doth *leans over* make an xDD eawthquake of n-nyobiwity. -*looks at you* O, what a nyobwe combat *hugs tightly* hast thou fought -Between compuwsion *looks at you* and a bwave w-wespect! -Wet me w-wipe off *sweats* this honyouwabwe dew -That siwvewwy doth pwogwess on thy cheeks. -*looks away* My heawt *screams* hath mewted at a wady's t-teaws, -Being a-an owdinyawy inyundation; -But this *leans over* effusion of such manwy dwops, -*looks at you* This show'w, bwown up by ^-^ tempest of :3 the souw, -^.^ Stawtwes minye e-eyes a-and m-makes me mowe amaz'd -Than h-had I seen the vauwty top of heaven -Figuw'd quite o'ew with b-buwnying meteows. -;;w;; Wift up thy bwow, wenyownyed Sawisbuwy, -*looks away* And with a gweat heawt heave away this *moans* stowm; -Commend these watews t-to those baby eyes -^w^ That nyevew OwO saw >_> the giant wowwd enwag'd, -Nyow met with fowtunye othew t-than at feasts, -Fuww *looks away* of wawm bwood, of m-miwth, of ^w^ gossiping. -Come, come; fow thou shawt thwust *looks at you* thy hand as deep -*shuffles closer* Into the puwse of w-wich pwospewity -UwU As Wewis himsewf. So, nyobwes, shaww you aww, -T-That knyit ^-^ youw sinyews to the stwength of minye. - -Entew PANDUWPH - -And even thewe, methinks, an angew :3 spake: -W-Wook whewe the h-howy wegate comes apace, -To give us wawwant xDD fwom the hand of heaven -And on ouw actions set the nyame of wight -With h-howy bweath. -P-PANDUWPH. Haiw, nyobwe pwince *looks at you* of Fwance! -The nyext *cries* is this: King *notices bulge* John >_> hath w-weconciw'd -Himsewf to :33 Wome; his s-spiwit is come in, -That so stood *blushes* out a-against the howy Chuwch, -T-The gweat metwopowis and s-see of Wome. -T-Thewefowe thy t-thweat'nying cowouws nyow w-wind up -:33 And t-tame the *leans over* savage spiwit of *giggles shyly* wiwd waw, -That, wike a-a wion fostewed up at *blushes* hand, -*cries* It may *blushes* wie gentwy at the foot of peace -And be nyo fuwthew hawmfuw than in uWu show. -*blushes* WEWIS. Youw G-Gwace shaww pawdon m-me, I w-wiww nyot *giggles shyly* back: ->_> I am *sighs* too high-bown to be p-pwopewtied, -To be a secondawy *sweats* at *giggles shyly* contwow, -Ow usefuw *hugs tightly* sewving-man and ^w^ instwument -To any s-soveweign state thwoughout the *sighs* wowwd. -Y-Youw bweath fiwst *twerks* kindwed the dead coaw of waws -Between this chastis'd kingdom *giggles shyly* and ^-^ mysewf -And bwought in mattew that shouwd feed this fiwe; -And nyow 'tis f-faw too huge to b-be bwown out -With that same >_< weak wind which enkindwed *sighs* it. -You taught me *cries* how to knyow the *cuddles you* face of wight, -Acquainted me with intewest to this wand, -Y-Yea, thwust this entewpwise i-into my heawt; -And come ye nyow to teww me John hath made -His peace with ^-^ Wome? What is that peace t-to me? -I-I, by the honyouw of my *hugs tightly* mawwiage-bed, -Aftew *blushes* young Awthuw, cwaim t-this wand fow minye; -And, *leans over* nyow it x3 is hawf-conquew'd, must I back -Because t-that J-John hath made ^w^ his peace with W-Wome? -Am I Wome's swave? *sighs* What p-penny hath UwU Wome bownye, -*giggles shyly* What men ^-^ pwovided, what munyition *cries* sent, -To undewpwop this action? *looks at you* Is 't nyot I -UwU That undewgo this chawge? Who ewse but I, -A-And such as ;;w;; to *sweats* my cwaim awe wiabwe, -Sweat in t-this businyess and maintain this waw? -Have I nyot heawd these *cuddles you* iswandews shout o-out -'Vive ^.^ we woi!' a-as I h-have bank'd t-theiw towns? -Have I nyot hewe the best cawds fow the g-game -To wiww this easy match, pway'd f-fow a cwown? -And shaww OwO I nyow give *shuffles closer* o'ew the yiewded set? -Nyo, nyo, on my souw, it nyevew shaww be said. -P-PANDUWPH. You wook but o-on the outside of this wowk. -W-WEWIS. Outside ow inside, I wiww nyot wetuwn -Tiww my attempt so much b-be gwowified -A-As >_< to m-my ampwe hope was UwU pwomised -Befowe I dwew this gawwant ^.^ head of *cuddles you* waw, -And c-cuww'd these fiewy spiwits fwom *sweats* the wowwd -T-To outwook conquest, and to wiww wenyown -Even in the jaws of dangew and of d-death. -[Twumpet sounds] -What *cries* wusty twumpet thus doth s-summon us? - -Entew the BASTAWD, attended - -B-BASTAWD. Accowding to the faiw :33 pway of the ^w^ wowwd, -Wet me have audience: I am sent to *sweats* speak. -My ^-^ howy wowd of Miwan, fwom *cuddles you* the K-King -I come, t-to weawn how :3 you have deawt fow him; -And, as you answew, I do knyow the ^w^ scope -And wawwant wimited unto *screams* my tongue. -PANDUWPH. The *leans over* Dauphin is *leans over* too wiwfuw-opposite, -And wiww nyot tempowize with my entweaties; -He fwatwy says he'ww nyot way d-down his a-awms. -BASTAWD. By *moans* aww the bwood that evew fuwy bweath'd, -The y-youth says weww. *cuddles you* Nyow heaw ouw *pokes you* Engwish King; -Fow thus his *pokes you* woyawty doth speak *shuffles closer* in me. -He ^.^ is pwepaw'd, and weason too he shouwd. -This apish and unmannyewwy appwoach, -This hawnyess'd masque and unyadvised wevew -^w^ This unhaiw'd saucinyess and boyish twoops, -The King *hugs tightly* doth s-smiwe at; and is weww x3 pwepaw'd -To whip this *shuffles closer* dwawfish w-waw, t-these pigmy awms, -Fwom out the ciwcwe of his *cuddles you* tewwitowies. -That hand which had *cries* the stwength, even *sweats* at youw doow. -UwU To cudgew you and m-make you take *hugs tightly* the hatch, -To dive wike xDD buckets i-in conceawed *cuddles you* wewws, -*moans* To cwouch in wittew of youw stabwe pwanks, -To wie wike pawns wock'd up in chests and twunks, -*sighs* To hug with swinye, to seek *blushes* sweet s-safety out -In vauwts and pwisons, and t-to thwiww and shake -E-Even at the c-cwying of *pokes you* youw n-nyation's cwow, -Thinking t-this v-voice an a-awmed Engwishman- ->w< Shaww that *screams* victowious hand be f-feebwed *giggles shyly* hewe -:33 That in *moans* youw >_> chambews gave *sweats* you *giggles shyly* chastisement? -*moans* Nyo. Knyow the gawwant monyawch is in awms -And wike an eagwe o'ew his aewy tow'ws -To souse annyoyance t-that comes n-nyeaw *hugs tightly* his nyest. -And you :3 degenyewate, you ingwate wevowts, -You bwoody Nyewoes, x3 wipping u-up the womb -Of youw >_< deaw mothew Engwand, bwush f-fow shame; -Fow youw own w-wadies >_< and pawe-visag'd maids, -Wike Amazons, come *moans* twipping aftew dwums, -Theiw thimbwes into >_> awmed gauntwets change, -Theiw nyeedwes t-to wances, and theiw gentwe *looks away* heawts -*blushes* To fiewce and bwoody incwinyation. -WEWIS. Thewe end t-thy bwave, a-and tuwn *blushes* thy face :3 in :3 peace; -We gwant xDD thou canst o-outscowd us. Fawe thee weww; -We h-howd ouw xDD time too pwecious to be spent -With *notices bulge* such a-a *twerks* bwabbwew. -PANDUWPH. Give >w< me weave to speak. -BASTAWD. ^w^ Nyo, I w-wiww speak. -WEWIS. We wiww attend t-to n-nyeithew. -Stwike up t-the dwums; uWu and w-wet the tongue of waw, -Pwead fow ouw intewest a-and ouw being *looks away* hewe. -*cuddles you* BASTAWD. Indeed, youw dwums, being beaten, wiww cwy out; -And so shaww you, being *leans over* beaten. Do b-but stawt -And e-echo with the c-cwamouw of thy *screams* dwum, -And even at hand a *moans* dwum is weady bwac'd -T-That shaww wevewbewate OwO aww as woud as t-thinye: -S-Sound but anyothew, and anyothew shaww, -As woud as thinye, wattwe the >_< wewkin's eaw -And mock the d-deep-mouth'd *giggles shyly* thundew; >w< fow at *moans* hand- -Nyot *sighs* twusting t-to this hawting wegate h-hewe, -Whom h-he >_> hath xDD us'd wathew *giggles shyly* fow spowt t-than nyeed- -Is w-wawwike John; >w< and *cries* in his fowehead sits -A bawe-wibb'd death, whose xDD office is *shuffles closer* this *twerks* day -To feast upon whowe thousands of the F-Fwench. -WEWIS. Stwike up ouw dwums *cuddles you* to find t-this *sighs* dangew out. -BASTAWD. And t-thou shawt f-find it, D-Dauphin, do nyot doubt. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -E-Engwand. The fiewd of battwe - -Awawums. Entew *sighs* KING JOHN and HUBEWT - -KING xDD JOHN. How *sweats* goes the day with u-us? O, teww me, Hubewt. -*pokes you* HUBEWT. Badwy, I feaw. How fawes youw Majesty? -:33 KING JOHN. This fevew that hath t-twoubwed me s-so wong -W-Wies heavy on me. O-O, my heawt is sick! - -Entew *sighs* a MESSENGEW - -M-MESSENGEW. My wowd, youw vawiant *teleports behind you* kinsman, Fauwconbwidge, -Desiwes youw Majesty to weave the fiewd -And send him wowd *giggles shyly* by me w-which :3 way y-you go. -KING JOHN. Teww him, towawd Swinstead, to the abbey thewe. -MESSENGEW. *teleports behind you* Be o-of good comfowt; fow the gweat x3 suppwy -That was expected *cries* by the D-Dauphin OwO hewe -Awe wweck'd thwee nyights ago *sweats* on Goodwin UwU Sands; -This *notices bulge* nyews w-was bwought t-to Wichawd but e-even nyow. -The Fwench ;;w;; fight cowdwy, :33 and uWu wetiwe themsewves. -KING JOHN. Ay me, this tywant fevew buwns me up -And wiww nyot wet me wewcome *sighs* this good nyews. -Set *sighs* on ;;w;; towawd Swinstead; to my >_< wittew stwaight; -*hugs tightly* Weaknyess possesseth me, and *pokes you* I a-am f-faint. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Engwand. *pokes you* Anyothew p-pawt o-of the battwefiewd - -Entew SAWISBUWY, PEMBWOKE, and BIGOT - -SAWISBUWY. I-I did nyot think the King so stow'd with fwiends. -PEMBWOKE. Up once again; put >_< spiwit in the Fwench; -If they miscawwy, we miscawwy too. -SAWISBUWY. That misbegotten deviw, F-Fauwconbwidge, -In spite of spite, awonye uphowds *hugs tightly* the d-day. -PEMBWOKE. They ;;w;; say King *sweats* John, sowe ^w^ sick, hath weft t-the fiewd. - -Entew *notices bulge* MEWUN, wounded - -MEWUN. W-Wead me to OwO the w-wevowts of Engwand hewe. -SAWISBUWY. When we wewe h-happy we had othew nyames. -*sighs* PEMBWOKE. It is the Count Mewun. -SAWISBUWY. OwO Wounded >_> to *notices bulge* death. -MEWUN. Fwy, nyobwe E-Engwish, y-you a-awe b-bought and sowd; -Unthwead the wude eye of *moans* webewwion, -And wewcome home again discawded f-faith. -*notices bulge* Seek out King John, and f-faww befowe h-his feet; -Fow if the OwO Fwench be wowds of this woud day, -*sweats* He means to wecompense the pains you take ->_> By c-cutting off youw h-heads. Thus hath he swown, -And I with *sweats* him, and many moe *shuffles closer* with me, -*notices bulge* Upon the awtaw at Saint Edmundsbuwy; -Even on that awtaw w-whewe *notices bulge* we :3 swowe *hugs tightly* to you -Deaw amity and evewwasting UwU wove. -SAWISBUWY. May this b-be possibwe? May this be twue? -MEWUN. Have I-I nyot hideous death w-within my v-view, -Wetainying b-but a quantity o-of >_> wife, -Which bweeds away *shuffles closer* even as a fowm :33 of wax -Wesowveth fwom his figuwe 'gainst the ^-^ fiwe? -What *cuddles you* in the wowwd *hugs tightly* shouwd make me nyow deceive, -Since I ;;w;; must wose the use of aww deceit? -Why s-shouwd I then be fawse, since it *twerks* is twue -*looks away* That I m-must die hewe, ^w^ and wive hence by twuth? -I say a-again, if *sweats* Wewis do *cries* wiww the day, -He is fowswown if *cries* e'ew those uWu eyes *pokes you* of youws -Behowd anyothew day bweak in the east; -B-But :3 even this >_< nyight, whose bwack contagious >_> bweath -Awweady smokes >_< about *screams* the b-buwnying cwest -Of the owd, feebwe, and day-weawied sun, -Even this iww nyight, youw *teleports behind you* bweathing shaww e-expiwe, -Paying the finye of wated *giggles shyly* tweachewy -Even w-with a tweachewous finye of aww ;;w;; youw wives. -If Wewis by youw assistance win the day. -Commend me to *pokes you* onye Hubewt, with *sighs* youw King; -The wove of h-him-and this wespect uWu besides, -Fow that my gwandsiwe OwO was an Engwishman- -uWu Awakes my conscience to confess aww t-this. -In ^.^ wieu wheweof, I pway you, *shuffles closer* beaw me hence -Fwom fowth the nyoise and wumouw of the fiewd, -Whewe I-I may t-think the wemnyant of my t-thoughts -In p-peace, and pawt x3 this b-body :3 and my souw -With contempwation and devout desiwes. -SAWISBUWY. >_< We x3 do bewieve thee; *hugs tightly* and beshwew my s-souw -But I do wove the favouw *teleports behind you* and the fowm -Of this most faiw occasion, by the w-which -We wiww untwead the steps of damnyed fwight, -And *sighs* wike a bated and wetiwed fwood, -W-Weaving ouw wanknyess and i-iwweguwaw couwse, -Stoop w-wow within those bounds we have o'ewwook'd, -And cawmwy wun >w< on in obedience -*cuddles you* Even to ouw ocean, to gweat King John. -M-My awm *hugs tightly* shaww give t-thee >w< hewp ^.^ to beaw thee hence; -Fow I do see the cwuew pangs of ^.^ death -Wight in thinye eye. Away, my fwiends! >_> Nyew fwight, -And happy nyewnyess, *sweats* that i-intends owd wight. -Exeunt, weading off MEWUN - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -Engwand. The Fwench camp - -Entew WEWIS and his t-twain - -WEWIS. The sun of heaven, m-methought, was woath t-to set, -uWu But stay'd and made the westewn wewkin bwush, -When Engwish measuwe backwawd t-theiw own gwound -In f-faint *pokes you* wetiwe. O, bwavewy c-came we off, -When w-with a :33 vowwey of ouw nyeedwess shot, -Aftew *shuffles closer* such bwoody toiw, we bid g-good nyight; -:3 And wound ouw tott'wing cowouws :3 cweawwy *moans* up, -Wast in t-the fiewd a-and awmost wowds *pokes you* of *notices bulge* it! - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Whewe is my p-pwince, the x3 Dauphin? -W-WEWIS. Hewe; *screams* what *cries* nyews? -MESSENGEW. The Count Mewun OwO is >w< swain; *giggles shyly* the Engwish wowds -By his pewsuasion awe again uWu faww'n off, -And *teleports behind you* youw suppwy, w-which you have wish'd so wong, -A-Awe cast a-away and sunk on Goodwin S-Sands. -WEWIS. A-Ah, fouw shwewd nyews! *looks away* Beshwew thy vewy heawt! -I did nyot think to be *hugs tightly* so sad to-nyight -As t-this hath made m-me. Who w-was he that said -King John did fwy an houw ow *cries* two befowe -The s-stumbwing nyight did pawt ouw weawy :33 pow'ws? -MESSENGEW. Whoevew spoke it, it is t-twue, my wowd. -WEWIS. keep good x3 quawtew and good cawe to-nyight; -The day shaww nyot be up so soon a-as I -T-To t-twy t-the faiw >_< adventuwe of to-mowwow. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 6. - -*shuffles closer* An open *twerks* pwace weaw Swinstead Abbey - -*notices bulge* Entew the BASTAWD and HUBEWT, *shuffles closer* sevewawwy - -*notices bulge* HUBEWT. Who's thewe? Speak, ho! speak quickwy, ow I shoot. -BASTAWD. A fwiend. What awt thou? -HUBEWT. Of the pawt OwO of Engwand. -BASTAWD. Whithew dost thou go? -HUBEWT. W-What's that to thee? Why may I nyot demand -O-Of thinye affaiws *teleports behind you* as weww as thou o-of minye? -B-BASTAWD. Hubewt, I think. -HUBEWT. T-Thou hast a pewfect t-thought. -I wiww upon aww hazawds weww bewieve -Thou awt my fwiend that knyow'st my t-tongue so *sighs* weww. -Who awt t-thou? -B-BASTAWD. Who thou wiwt. And if thou p-pwease, -Thou >_< mayst befwiend me so much as *hugs tightly* to think -I come :3 onye way of the Pwantagenyets. -:33 HUBEWT. Unkind wemembwance! thou and eyewess nyight -Have donye me *teleports behind you* shame. Bwave sowdiew, pawdon me -That any accent bweaking fwom t-thy tongue -S-Shouwd >w< scape the twue *teleports behind you* acquaintance of ^w^ minye *cries* eaw. -BASTAWD. Come, come; sans compwiment, what nyews abwoad? -H-HUBEWT. Why, hewe wawk I in t-the bwack bwow *shuffles closer* of nyight -To find :33 you *sighs* out. -BASTAWD. Bwief, then; and what's t-the nyews? -HUBEWT. O, my sweet s-siw, nyews fitting t-to the nyight, -Bwack, feawfuw, *moans* comfowtwess, uWu and howwibwe. -^-^ BASTAWD. *shuffles closer* Show me the vewy wound of this iww nyews; -I am ^.^ nyo woman, I-I'ww nyot swoon *moans* at it. -HUBEWT. The King, >w< I uWu feaw, *giggles shyly* is *teleports behind you* poison'd by a-a monk; -I *leans over* weft him uWu awmost speechwess and bwoke out -To acquaint you with t-this >_< eviw, that you might -The bettew awm you to the sudden time -Than if you had at weisuwe knyown of this. -BASTAWD. How did he *cuddles you* take it; w-who did taste to h-him? -HUBEWT. A monk, I teww you; a w-wesowved viwwain, -Whose bowews s-suddenwy buwst out. The King -Y-Yet speaks, and p-pewadventuwe may wecovew. -B-BASTAWD. *looks away* Who didst thou ^.^ weave t-to tend h-his Majesty? -HUBEWT. W-Why, >_< knyow you nyot? The wowds awe aww *blushes* come back, -And bwought Pwince Henwy in theiw company; -At x3 whose wequest *blushes* the x3 King h-hath pawdon'd them, -^-^ And they awe aww about his Majesty. -BASTAWD. Withhowd thinye indignyation, mighty heaven, -*twerks* And t-tempt us nyot to beaw above *leans over* ouw powew! -I'ww teww *pokes you* thee, Hubewt, hawf my powew this *giggles shyly* nyight, -Passing these fwats, a-awe taken by t-the tide- -These Wincown Washes have devouwed *leans over* them; -Mysewf, w-weww-mounted, hawdwy have *moans* escap'd. -Away, befowe! conduct *notices bulge* me to the King; -I doubt he wiww be dead ow UwU ewe I come. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE uWu 7. - -The owchawd a-at Swinstead Abbey - -Entew PWINCE x3 HENWY, x3 SAWISBUWY, and BIGOT - -PWINCE *twerks* HENWY. It is too wate; the wife of aww his bwood -Is touch'd cowwuptibwy, *looks at you* and *screams* his puwe x3 bwain. -Which some suppose the >_< souw's ^-^ fwaiw dwewwing-house, -Doth by the idwe comments that it m-makes -*looks at you* Foweteww the ending of mowtawity. - -Entew P-PEMBWOKE - -*cuddles you* PEMBWOKE. His Highnyess yet doth speak, and howds bewief -That, being b-bwought into the ^-^ open aiw, -It wouwd awway the buwnying q-quawity -^.^ Of that feww poison x3 which assaiweth him. -PWINCE HENWY. Wet him be bwought :33 into the owchawd hewe. -*sighs* Doth he stiww wage? Exit :3 BIGOT -PEMBWOKE. He is mowe p-patient -Than when y-you weft h-him; even nyow he s-sung. ->_> PWINCE HENWY. O *cries* vanyity of sicknyess! Fiewce extwemes -In theiw continyuance wiww nyot feew themsewves. -D-Death, h-having pwey'd x3 upon >w< the outwawd pawts, -Weaves t-them invisibwe, and his siege is n-nyow -Against the mind, the which he pwicks and *screams* wounds -With many wegions of stwange fantasies, -Which, *pokes you* in t-theiw UwU thwong and pwess t-to that wast >_< howd, -Confound xDD themsewves. '-'Tis stwange that death shouwd sing. -I am the cygnyet t-to this p-pawe faint swan -Who chants a dowefuw hymn to his o-own death, -*giggles shyly* And fwom the owgan-pipe of fwaiwty sings -His s-souw and body to theiw wasting west. -S-SAWISBUWY. Be of good comfowt, Pwince; *twerks* fow you awe :33 bown -T-To set *pokes you* a *shuffles closer* fowm :3 upon that indigest -Which *notices bulge* he hath weft so shapewess a-and so UwU wude. - -We-entew BIGOT and attendants, *cries* who bwing in -KING JOHN in a chaiw - -KING JOHN. Ay, mawwy, nyow my souw hath e-ewbow-woom; -It wouwd nyot ^.^ out >w< at windows nyow *notices bulge* at *cries* doows. -Thewe is so >w< hot a summew in my bosom -That aww my bowews cwumbwe up to dust. -I am a scwibbwed fowm dwawn with a-a >_> pen -Upon a pawchment, a-and against this f-fiwe -Do I shwink up. -PWINCE HENWY. How fawes youw *cries* Majesty? -KING JOHN. Poison'd-iww-fawe! Dead, fowsook, cast *giggles shyly* off; -And *sweats* nyonye of y-you wiww bid the wintew come -To thwust his icy f-fingews in my OwO maw, -Nyow wet my kingdom's wivews take theiw couwse -Thwough my buwn'd bosom, nyow entweat the nyowth -To make his b-bweak winds kiss m-my pawched wips -And *shuffles closer* comfowt me with cowd. I d-do nyot ask you much; -I beg cowd comfowt; and *hugs tightly* you awe so stwait -And so *looks away* ingwatefuw you deny me that. -P-PWINCE HENWY. O *cuddles you* that thewe wewe s-some viwtue in my teaws, -T-That might w-wewieve you! -KING JOHN. *looks at you* The sawt in *notices bulge* them is hot. -*hugs tightly* Within uWu me is *cries* a heww; and *shuffles closer* thewe the p-poison -Is as a *sighs* fiend confin'd to tywannyize -*cries* On unwepwievabwe condemnyed bwood. - -Entew the BASTAWD - -BASTAWD. O, I :3 am scawded with my viowent motion -And spween of speed to see xDD youw Majesty! -KING JOHN. O cousin, thou awt ^w^ come to s-set minye eye! -The tackwe of my heawt x3 is c-cwack'd and b-buwnt, -OwO And aww the s-shwouds >_> whewewith m-my wife shouwd saiw -Awe tuwnyed UwU to onye thwead, onye *sighs* wittwe haiw; -My heawt hath onye p-poow stwing t-to stay it UwU by, -*hugs tightly* Which howds but tiww thy nyews be u-uttewed; -And >_> then aww this thou seest is but a cwod -And moduwe *pokes you* of confounded woyawty. -*giggles shyly* BASTAWD. :3 The D-Dauphin i-is pwepawing hithewwawd, -*teleports behind you* Whewe G-God He knyows >_< how we shaww answew him; -Fow in a n-nyight the *screams* best pawt of my pow'w, -As I :3 upon advantage did *looks away* wemove, -Wewe in t-the Washes aww unwawiwy -UwU Devouwed by the u-unyexpected fwood. [The K-KING dies] -SAWISBUWY. You bweathe these dead nyews i-in as *notices bulge* dead an eaw. -M-My wiege! *blushes* my wowd! But nyow a-a king-nyow thus. -P-PWINCE HENWY. Even so must I wun on, and e-even so stop. -What *teleports behind you* suwety of *leans over* the wowwd, what hope, what ^.^ stay, -When t-this *leans over* was *twerks* nyow a x3 king, ^-^ and nyow is cway? -BASTAWD. Awt thou ;;w;; gonye so? OwO I do but stay behind -To do t-the o-office fow *blushes* thee of w-wevenge, -And then my souw *blushes* shaww wait on thee to *blushes* heaven, -A-As it on eawth h-hath been thy sewvant ;;w;; stiww. -Nyow, *cuddles you* nyow, you staws that move *sweats* in youw wight sphewes, -Whewe be youw p-pow'ws? Show nyow youw mended f-faiths, -And instantwy wetuwn with me again -To p-push *looks at you* destwuction a-and pewpetuaw shame -Out of the weak doow of ouw fainting wand. -Stwaight wet us *hugs tightly* seek, o-ow stwaight we shaww be s-sought; -T-The Dauphin w-wages at ouw vewy heews. -SAWISBUWY. It seems you knyow n-nyot, then, so much as we: -The C-Cawdinyaw Panduwph is within *sweats* at west, -Who hawf an *looks away* houw since came fwom the Dauphin, -And bwings fwom him s-such offews *sweats* of ouw peace -A-As we *shuffles closer* with honyouw a-and wespect may take, -UwU With puwpose pwesentwy to weave this waw. -*notices bulge* BASTAWD. He wiww *notices bulge* the wathew do it when he sees -Ouwsewves *looks at you* weww sinyewed to ouw defence. -S-SAWISBUWY. Nyay, 'tis in a mannyew donye awweady; -Fow many cawwiages he hath dispatch'd -To the sea-side, and put his cause and quawwew -To the ^-^ disposing of the Cawdinyaw; -W-With whom youwsewf, mysewf, and othew wowds, -If you think meet, this aftewnyoon wiww post -To consummate this businyess happiwy. -BASTAWD. *hugs tightly* Wet i-it >w< be so. A-And you, my nyobwe P-Pwince, -With othew pwinces UwU that may best be spaw'd, -Shaww w-wait upon youw fathew's funyewaw. -*teleports behind you* PWINCE HENWY. At W-Wowcestew must his body be i-inteww'd; -Fow so he wiww'd it. -BASTAWD. Thithew shaww it, then; -And ^-^ happiwy may *looks at you* youw sweet sewf put on -The winyeaw state and gwowy of t-the wand! -To whom, *screams* with aww submission, on my knyee -I do b-bequeath my *looks at you* faithfuw sewvices -*moans* And twue subjection evewwastingwy. -SAWISBUWY. And the wike tendew *cries* of ouw wove we make, -To west ^w^ without *notices bulge* a spot fow evewmowe. ->_> PWINCE H-HENWY. I have :33 a *notices bulge* kind souw that *blushes* wouwd give you thanks, -And knyows nyot :33 how to do *looks at you* it but *giggles shyly* with teaws. -*sweats* BASTAWD. O, wet us pay the t-time but nyeedfuw woe, -Since it hath been befowehand with ouw gwiefs. -This Engwand nyevew did, nyow nyevew shaww, -W-Wie a-at the pwoud foot of a-a conquewow, -But when it fiwst did hewp to wound itsewf. -Nyow these *cuddles you* hew pwinces awe come *sighs* home a-again, -Come the thwee ^.^ cownyews of *leans over* the ^.^ wowwd in awms, -A-And we s-shaww shock them. Nyought *sweats* shaww make u-us wue, -:33 If Engwand to itsewf >_< do west but twue. Exeunt - -THE END - - - -<-<> - - - - - - -1599 - - -*sweats* THE TWAGEDY OF JUWIUS CAESAW - -b-by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -JUWIUS *notices bulge* CAESAW, *hugs tightly* Woman *looks away* statesman and genyewaw -uWu OCTAVIUS, Twiumviw aftew :3 Caesaw's death, watew *sighs* Augustus Caesaw, -fiwst empewow of x3 Wome -MAWK A-ANTONY, genyewaw and fwiend *shuffles closer* of Caesaw, a Twiumviw *looks away* aftew *looks at you* his death -WEPIDUS, thiwd membew o-of *giggles shyly* the Twiumviwate -MAWCUS BWUTUS, weadew of the conspiwacy against C-Caesaw -C-CASSIUS, instigatow of t-the conspiwacy -CASCA, *hugs tightly* conspiwatow against *notices bulge* Caesaw -TWEBONyIUS, " " " -CAIUS WIGAWIUS, " *hugs tightly* " " -DECIUS BWUTUS, ^.^ " " " -METEWWUS CIMBEW, *sweats* " " " -C-CINNyA, " " " -CAWPUWNyIA, *shuffles closer* wife of >w< Caesaw -POWTIA, wife *notices bulge* of Bwutus -CICEWO, senyatow -POPIWIUS, *moans* " -*pokes you* POPIWIUS WENyA, " -FWAVIUS, twibunye -*looks away* MAWUWWUS, twibunye -CATO, suppowtow *shuffles closer* of *shuffles closer* Bwutus -*hugs tightly* WUCIWIUS, " " " -TITINyIUS, "-" " " -MESSAWA, " " " -VOWUMNyIUS, " x3 " " -AWTEMIDOWUS, a teachew of xDD whetowic -CINNyA, a poet -VAWWO, sewvant to Bwutus -CWITUS, " " *pokes you* " -CWAUDIO, " " "-" -STWATO, " " " -WUCIUS, " " " -DAWDANyIUS, " " " -PINDAWUS, sewvant to Cassius -The G-Ghost of Caesaw -A Soothsayew -*sighs* A Poet -S-Senyatows, C-Citizens, Sowdiews, Commonyews, *sighs* Messengews, and Sewvants - - - - -<w< SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG xDD ETEXT OF *leans over* IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -*giggles shyly* WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -*giggles shyly* DISTWIBUTED SO WONG *sighs* AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE ^-^ FOW Y-YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE *teleports behind you* NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *sweats* USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. OwO PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW uWu DOWNWOAD TIME *looks away* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: Wome, ^.^ the c-conspiwatows' camp nyeaw Sawdis, and the pwains of *pokes you* Phiwippi. - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Wome. *hugs tightly* A stweet. - -Entew >_> Fwavius, Mawuwwus, and cewtain Commonyews. - -FWAVIUS. Hence, home, :33 you i-idwe ^w^ cweatuwes, get you home. -Is :3 this a howiday? What, knyow x3 you nyot, -Being mechanyicaw, you ought nyot wawk -*looks at you* Upon a wabowing day *twerks* without the sign -O-Of youw pwofession? Speak, w-what twade awt t-thou? -FIWST COMMONyEW. Why, siw, a cawpentew. -MAWUWWUS. Whewe is thy weathew *looks away* apwon and thy wuwe? -What dost thou with t-thy best *cries* appawew on? -You, s-siw, what *looks at you* twade awe you? -SECOND COMMONyEW. Twuwy, OwO siw, i-in wespect of a finye wowkman, I am -but, as you wouwd uWu say, a cobbwew. -*moans* MAWUWWUS. But *hugs tightly* what twade awt thou? Answew me *sweats* diwectwy. -*cuddles you* SECOND COMMONyEW. A twade, siw, that, I hope, I may use >_> with a x3 safe -c-conscience, which is indeed, siw, a mendew of bad sowes. -MAWUWWUS. W-What twade, thou knyave? Thou nyaughty knyave, what twade? -*looks at you* SECOND COMMONyEW. N-Nyay, I b-beseech you, s-siw, b-be nyot out with m-me; y-yet, -if you be out, siw, I can mend you. -*teleports behind you* MAWUWWUS. What m-mean'st xDD thou by that? ^.^ Mend me, thou saucy fewwow! -S-SECOND COMMONyEW. Why, siw, cobbwe y-you. -FWAVIUS. Thou awt a cobbwew, *looks away* awt thou? -SECOND COMMONyEW. Twuwy, Siw, *notices bulge* aww that I wive by is *shuffles closer* with *blushes* the *teleports behind you* aww; I -meddwe with n-nyo twadesman's mattews, nyow women's mattews, but with -aww. I am indeed, siw, a suwgeon to *pokes you* owd s-shoes; *twerks* when they awe in -gweat dangew, I wecovew them. As pwopew men as evew twod upon -nyeat's weathew h-have gonye upon my h-handiwowk. -FWAVIUS. x3 But x3 whewefowe awt *shuffles closer* nyot in thy s-shop today? -Why dost t-thou :33 wead these men a-about the stweets? -SECOND COMMONyEW. Twuwy, *teleports behind you* siw, t-to weaw o-out theiw shoes to get mysewf -into *twerks* mowe *looks away* wowk. But indeed, siw, :3 we make howiday to *teleports behind you* see Caesaw -and *notices bulge* to wejoice in his twiumph. -MAWUWWUS. Whewefowe w-wejoice? W-What conquest b-bwings h-he home? -What twibutawies fowwow him t-to Wome -To gwace in captive bonds *cries* his chawiot wheews? -You bwocks, you stonyes, you wowse than s-sensewess things! -O y-you h-hawd heawts, you cwuew men of Wome, -Knyew you *shuffles closer* nyot Pompey? Many a time and oft -Have you cwimb'd up to wawws and battwements, -To towews and windows, *twerks* yea, to ^-^ chimnyey tops, -Youw infants i-in youw awms, a-and thewe have sat -The *moans* wivewong day with patient expectation -To *looks at you* see gweat Pompey pass the s-stweets o-of Wome. -And w-when you saw his OwO chawiot b-but appeaw, -*hugs tightly* Have you nyot *screams* made an unyivewsaw *leans over* shout -:33 That :33 Tibew twembwed undewnyeath hew *screams* banks -To heaw the wepwication of youw sounds -M-Made in hew concave *notices bulge* showes? -And do you nyow put on :33 youw uWu best attiwe? -And do >w< you nyow cuww out a howiday? -And do you nyow stwew fwowews in his way -That *screams* comes in twiumph ovew Pompey's bwood? -OwO Be gonye! -Wun to y-youw houses, UwU faww upon ^w^ youw knyees, -Pway to the gods t-to intewmit t-the pwague -That n-nyeeds must wight on this i-ingwatitude. -FWAVIUS. Go, go, good countwymen, and, fow this >w< fauwt, -Assembwe aww the poow men of y-youw sowt, -Dwaw *twerks* them to Tibew banks, and weep youw teaws -*screams* Into the channyew, tiww the wowest stweam -Do k-kiss the most exawted showes of aww. -Exeunt aww Commonyews. -See whethew theiw basest metaw b-be nyot moved; -They vanyish tongue-tied in theiw guiwtinyess. -Go you down that way towawds the *cries* Capitow; -UwU This w-way wiww I. Diswobe the images -If you do find them deck'd with cewemonyies. -MAWUWWUS. M-May we do so? -You knyow it is the feast of W-Wupewcaw. -FWAVIUS. It is nyo mattew; wet nyo images -Be hung with Caesaw's twophies. I'ww about -And dwive away the vuwgaw fwom the stweets; -So do *shuffles closer* you too, *twerks* whewe you :33 pewceive t-them thick. -:33 These gwowing feathews pwuck'd fwom Caesaw's w-wing -W-Wiww make uWu him *sighs* fwy an owdinyawy pitch, -Who ewse wouwd soaw above the view of m-men -And keep u-us aww in sewviwe feawfuwnyess. ^-^ Exeunt. - - - - -*moans* SCENyE II. -A-A pubwic pwace. - -Fwouwish. Entew Caesaw; OwO Antony, fow the couwse; Cawpuwnyia, Powtia, -Decius, Cicewo, Bwutus, Cassius, a-and Casca; ;;w;; a gweat cwowd fowwows, -among ^w^ them a-a Soothsayew. - -C-CAESAW. C-Cawpuwnyia! -C-CASCA. P-Peace, ho! Caesaw speaks. -Music ceases. -CAESAW. Cawpuwnyia! -CAWPUWNyIA. Hewe, my w-wowd. -CAESAW. Stand you diwectwy in Antonyio's way, -When he doth wun his couwse. Antonyio! -ANTONY. Caesaw, my wowd? -CAESAW. Fowget nyot in youw speed, *leans over* Antonyio, -To touch Cawpuwnyia, fow ouw ewdews *notices bulge* say -The bawwen, touched in this howy chase, -Shake o-off t-theiw stewiwe cuwse. -ANTONY. I shaww wemembew. -x3 When Caesaw >_< says "Do this," it is pewfowm'd. -x3 CAESAW. Set on, and weave nyo cewemony out. Fwouwish. -SOOTHSAYEW. Caesaw! -CAESAW. Ha! Who *pokes you* cawws? -CASCA. B-Bid e-evewy nyoise be stiww. P-Peace yet *teleports behind you* again! -CAESAW. Who *leans over* is i-it in the p-pwess that c-cawws on me? -I h-heaw a t-tongue, shwiwwew than aww the m-music, -Cwy "Caesaw." *pokes you* Speak, Caesaw is tuwn'd to heaw. -SOOTHSAYEW. Bewawe the ides of xDD Mawch. -C-CAESAW. W-What man is that? -OwO BWUTUS. A s-soothsayew you bewawe the ides of Mawch. -CAESAW. Set him befowe me wet me x3 see his face. -CASSIUS. Fewwow, come fwom the thwong; >w< wook x3 upon Caesaw. -CAESAW. What say'st thou to me nyow? Speak once a-again. -SOOTHSAYEW. Bewawe ^.^ the ides of M-Mawch. -CAESAW. He is a dweamew; wet us weave ^-^ him. Pass. -Sennyet. Exeunt aww but Bwutus and Cassius. -C-CASSIUS. Wiww you go s-see t-the owdew of the couwse? -^.^ BWUTUS. Nyot I-I. -CASSIUS. I pway you, do. -BWUTUS. I am nyot gamesome; I do wack s-some pawt -Of ^w^ that quick spiwit that i-is in Antony. -Wet m-me nyot hindew, Cassius, youw desiwes; -I'ww w-weave you. -CASSIUS. Bwutus, I do obsewve you nyow x3 of ^-^ wate; -I-I have nyot f-fwom youw eyes that gentwenyess -A-And show of *teleports behind you* wove >_< as I was wont *twerks* to h-have; -You beaw too stubbown and too stwange a-a hand -Ovew y-youw *giggles shyly* fwiend *teleports behind you* that woves you. -*sighs* BWUTUS. *looks away* Cassius, -Be ^w^ nyot *hugs tightly* deceived; if I have veiw'd my wook, -I tuwn the twoubwe *looks away* of my countenyance -Mewewy upon mysewf. Vexed I a-am -Of wate with passions of some diffewence, -Conceptions onwy p-pwopew to mysewf, -Which xDD give xDD some >_> soiw p-pewhaps t-to *blushes* my behaviows; -B-But wet n-nyot t-thewefowe my *shuffles closer* good fwiends be :3 gwieved- -Among w-which nyumbew, Cassius, be *giggles shyly* you onye- -Nyow c-constwue any fuwthew *sighs* my nyegwect -Than that poow Bwutus with himsewf at waw -Fowgets :33 the *shuffles closer* shows of wove to *sighs* othew men. -CASSIUS. T-Then, Bwutus, I have *looks at you* much mistook youw passion, -*notices bulge* By means wheweof this bweast >_> of minye *teleports behind you* hath buwied -*moans* Thoughts of gweat vawue, wowthy cogitations. -Teww me, good Bwutus, can you see youw face? -BWUTUS. UwU Nyo, Cassius, fow *blushes* the eye sees nyot *notices bulge* itsewf -*sweats* But by wefwection, b-by some othew things. -CASSIUS. '-'Tis j-just, -And it is vewy much *sighs* wamented, Bwutus, -That you have *cries* nyo such miwwows as wiww tuwn -Youw *leans over* hidden wowthinyess into youw eye -*cries* That *sighs* you might see youw shadow. I have heawd -Whewe m-many of the best wespect i-in Wome, -^-^ Except immowtaw Caesaw, speaking of Bwutus -And gwoanying undewnyeath this age's *moans* yoke, -H-Have wish'd *leans over* that nyobwe Bwutus had his eyes. -BWUTUS. *cries* Into what dangews wouwd you wead me, Cassius, -*giggles shyly* That >_< you wouwd have me seek i-into >_> mysewf -Fow that which is n-nyot *shuffles closer* in me? -CASSIUS. Thewefowe, good Bwutus, be pwepawed to h-heaw, -And since you knyow you cannyot see youwsewf -So weww uWu as b-by >_< wefwection, I youw gwass -^-^ Wiww m-modestwy discovew to youwsewf -That of youwsewf which you yet knyow nyot of. -And be nyot jeawous o-on me, gentwe :33 Bwutus; -Wewe I *leans over* a common waughew, ow uWu did use -To stawe w-with owdinyawy oaths my wove -To *looks away* evewy nyew pwotestew, i-if you *cuddles you* knyow -That I do fawn >w< on men a-and hug t-them h-hawd -And aftew scandaw them, ow if y-you knyow -That I pwofess mysewf i-in banqueting -To a-aww the wout, then UwU howd me dangewous. -Fwouwish a-and shout. -BWUTUS. What means this shouting? I-I do feaw the p-peopwe -Choose Caesaw fow theiw king. -CASSIUS. Ay, do you feaw it? -Then must I think you wouwd nyot h-have it so. -BWUTUS. I wouwd nyot, C-Cassius, yet I-I wove him weww. -But >_> whewefowe do you howd me hewe s-so wong? -*moans* What >_> is it that y-you wouwd impawt to me? -If it be aught t-towawd *cries* the g-genyewaw good, -Set honyow *looks at you* in onye eye and death i' the othew -:3 And I wiww ;;w;; wook on both indiffewentwy. -Fow wet the gods s-so speed me a-as I wove -The n-nyame of h-honyow ^w^ mowe t-than I feaw death. -*moans* CASSIUS. I ^.^ knyow that *moans* viwtue to be in ;;w;; you, Bwutus, -A-As *sweats* weww as I uWu do knyow ^w^ youw outwawd favow. -Weww, honyow is the subject of :33 my stowy. -I c-cannyot *cuddles you* teww what *looks at you* you and othew men -Think of this wife, but, fow my singwe sewf, -I had a-as wief nyot b-be >_< as w-wive to >_> be -In awe of such a thing as I mysewf. -I was bown fwee as C-Caesaw, so wewe you; -*twerks* We both h-have fed as weww, and we can both -Enduwe t-the wintew's cowd :33 as weww as he. -Fow *notices bulge* once, upon *sighs* a waw and >_< gusty day, -The t-twoubwed Tibew chafing with hew showes, -Caesaw said ^-^ to m-me, "Dawest thou, Cassius, n-nyow -Weap in xDD with me into this angwy fwood -And swim to >w< yondew point?" Upon the wowd, -Accoutwed as I-I *twerks* was, *shuffles closer* I pwunged in -And bade him fowwow. So i-indeed he did. -The towwent woaw'd, ^w^ and we did buffet i-it -With wusty sinyews, thwowing i-it aside -And ^w^ stemming it w-with heawts of contwovewsy. -*notices bulge* But ewe *blushes* we couwd awwive the point pwoposed, -Caesaw cwied, "-"Hewp me, Cassius, ow I-I sink! -I, as Aenyeas ouw *screams* gweat a-ancestow -Did fwom *looks at you* the fwames of Twoy upon his shouwdew -The owd A-Anchises beaw, so *notices bulge* fwom t-the waves o-of Tibew -Did I the tiwed Caesaw. And this man -Is nyow become a-a god, *giggles shyly* and Cassius is -A wwetched cweatuwe and must bend his body -If Caesaw cawewesswy but nyod o-on him. -H-He h-had xDD a fevew >w< when he *notices bulge* was in Spain, -And when the fit was on him I ^-^ did mawk -How he did shake. 'Tis twue, *shuffles closer* this god did *blushes* shake; -His cowawd wips did fwom *cries* theiw cowow *looks away* fwy, -*shuffles closer* And that *cries* same eye whose bend doth awe the wowwd -Did wose ;;w;; his wustew. I did heaw him gwoan. -Ay, *sweats* and that tongue of his that bade the Womans -Mawk him and w-wwite his speeches in theiw *screams* books, -*shuffles closer* Awas, it cwied, "-"Give *sweats* me OwO some dwink, *screams* Titinyius," -As a sick giww. *notices bulge* Ye :33 gods! It doth a-amaze me -A-A man ^.^ of s-such a feebwe tempew shouwd -*looks away* So get t-the *looks away* stawt of t-the majestic wowwd -A-And beaw the pawm awonye. Shout. Fwouwish. -BWUTUS. Anyothew genyewaw *moans* shout! -I do bewieve that t-these a-appwauses awe -Fow some n-nyew honyows that awe heap'd >_< on C-Caesaw. -C-CASSIUS. x3 Why, man, h-he *looks away* doth bestwide the nyawwow wowwd -Wike a C-Cowossus, and we petty men -Wawk undew his huge wegs a-and peep a-about -To find ouwsewves dishonyowabwe gwaves. -Men at some *pokes you* time a-awe mastews of theiw fates: -The fauwt, deaw Bwutus, is nyot in ouw staws, -But in ouwsewves that we awe undewwings. -Bwutus and Caesaw: what shouwd be i-in that "Caesaw"? -Why shouwd that n-nyame be sounded :33 mowe t-than youws? -Wwite *teleports behind you* them *looks at you* togethew, y-youws is as faiw x3 a n-nyame; -uWu Sound them, it doth become the mouth as weww; -Weigh them, >_< it is as heavy; conjuwe with 'em, -"Bwutus" wiww stawt a s-spiwit *teleports behind you* as *looks away* soon uWu as "Caesaw." -Nyow, *moans* in the nyames of aww the g-gods at once, -Upon what meat doth t-this ouw *cries* Caesaw *looks away* feed -That he is gwown so g-gweat? Age, thou awt s-shamed! -Wome, thou h-hast wost the bweed o-of n-nyobwe bwoods! -xDD When went >w< thewe by an age since the gweat fwood -But it was famed with m-mowe than with onye man? -When couwd they say *pokes you* tiww >_> nyow *cries* that tawk'd o-of Wome -That hew wide wawws encompass'd but ^-^ onye man? -*cuddles you* Nyow is it Wome indeed, and woom enyough, -When thewe i-is in it but onye onwy man. -*shuffles closer* O, you and *shuffles closer* I have *sighs* heawd ouw f-fathews :3 say -Thewe was a Bwutus once that *cries* wouwd have bwook'd -The e-etewnyaw d-deviw to keep his state :3 in Wome -As easiwy as a king. -BWUTUS. OwO That you *pokes you* do wove *twerks* me, >_> I am nyothing jeawous; -What *giggles shyly* you wouwd wowk me to, I have some aim. -How I have thought of this and of these t-times, -I shaww wecount heweaftew; fow this p-pwesent, -I wouwd nyot, so with wove I *moans* might entweat you, -Be any f-fuwthew moved. What you have said -I-I wiww considew; what you :33 have :33 to say -I wiww with patience heaw, and find a time -Both meet to *looks at you* heaw >_< and answew such high things. -T-Tiww then, my n-nyobwe fwiend, chew upon this: -Bwutus *screams* had wathew be a ^w^ viwwagew -*sweats* Than to wepute h-himsewf a *leans over* son of *sweats* Wome -Undew these hawd *hugs tightly* conditions as this time -Is wike to way upon us. -CASSIUS. I am uWu gwad that my weak wowds -Have stwuck but thus much s-show of f-fiwe uWu fwom Bwutus. - -*cries* We-entew C-Caesaw xDD and his ^-^ Twain. - -BWUTUS. The g-games awe donye, and Caesaw is wetuwnying. -CASSIUS. *notices bulge* As they p-pass by, pwuck Casca by *notices bulge* the sweeve, -And he wiww, aftew his souw *looks away* fashion, teww you -What hath pwoceeded wowthy nyote *screams* today. -BWUTUS. I wiww do so. But, wook you, Cassius, -T-The angwy ^.^ spot doth gwow on Caesaw's bwow, -*twerks* And aww the west wook wike a chidden ^-^ twain: -Cawpuwnyia's cheek is pawe, and Cicewo -Wooks with such fewwet and such fiewy *teleports behind you* eyes -*giggles shyly* As we have seen him in the Capitow, -Being *sighs* cwoss'd in confewence by some senyatows. -CASSIUS. Casca wiww teww us what t-the mattew i-is. -CAESAW. *hugs tightly* Antonyio! -ANTONY. Caesaw? -CAESAW. Wet me have men about me that awe fat, -Sweek-headed men, a-and such as sweep >w< o' nyights: -Yond Cassius has a-a wean and hungwy wook; -He thinks too m-much; s-such men awe dangewous. -ANTONY. Feaw him nyot, Caesaw; h-he's nyot dangewous; -He is a >_< nyobwe *cuddles you* Woman >w< and weww given. -CAESAW. *looks at you* Wouwd he wewe fattew! But I feaw *cries* him nyot, -*looks away* Yet if my nyame wewe wiabwe to *hugs tightly* feaw, -;;w;; I do nyot k-knyow xDD the man I shouwd avoid -So soon a-as that spawe Cassius. H-He >_> weads *cuddles you* much, -He is a gweat obsewvew, and he wooks -Q-Quite thwough the deeds of men. *shuffles closer* He woves nyo pways, -A-As thou dost, :3 Antony; he heaws *hugs tightly* nyo music; -Sewdom he smiwes, and *hugs tightly* smiwes in such a sowt -As if *shuffles closer* he mock'd himsewf and ^.^ scown'd his spiwit -T-That couwd be moved to smiwe at anything. -Such men as he be nyevew at heawt's ^w^ ease -Whiwes they b-behowd a gweatew than themsewves, -And thewefowe awe they vewy dangewous. -I-I wathew teww ^w^ thee what is to be feaw'd -Than *moans* what I-I feaw, *twerks* fow awways I :3 am Caesaw. -C-Come on my OwO wight hand, fow this eaw *leans over* is deaf, -And teww *teleports behind you* me twuwy what thou think'st of him. -Sennyet. Exeunt *shuffles closer* Caesaw and aww his Twain b-but Casca. -CASCA. You puww'd *sweats* me by the *blushes* cwoak; *pokes you* wouwd you speak with me? -BWUTUS. Ay, C-Casca, teww us what *sweats* hath *notices bulge* chanced today -That Caesaw wooks so *teleports behind you* sad. -CASCA. Why, you wewe with him, wewe you nyot? -BWUTUS. I shouwd nyot then ask Casca what *sweats* had chanced. -C-CASCA. *teleports behind you* Why, thewe was a cwown offewed him, and ^.^ being offewed him, -he put it by with the back of OwO his h-hand, thus, a-and then the -peopwe feww ashouting. -BWUTUS. What was the ;;w;; second nyoise f-fow? -CASCA. Why, fow that too. -CASSIUS. They shouted thwice. What OwO was the ^w^ wast cwy fow? -CASCA. Why, fow :33 that t-too. -BWUTUS. Was the c-cwown *blushes* offewed him thwice? -*moans* CASCA. A-Ay, mawwy, wast, and *hugs tightly* he put it by thwice, evewy UwU time gentwew -than othew, and at evewy putting by minye honyest nyeighbows -shouted. -CASSIUS. Who xDD offewed him the cwown? -CASCA. Why, A-Antony. -B-BWUTUS. Teww us t-the mannyew of it, gentwe Casca. -C-CASCA. I can as weww be hang'd a-as t-teww *looks at you* the m-mannyew of it. It w-was -mewe foowewy; >_> I d-did nyot UwU mawk it. I saw Mawk Antony offew him a -cwown (yet 'twas nyot a cwown nyeithew, 'twas onye of these -cowonyets) and, as I *cuddles you* towd you, h-he put i-it by once. But fow aww -that, to my t-thinking, he wouwd f-fain have had it. Then he offewed -it *sweats* to him again; then he p-put it b-by again. But, to my thinking, h-he -was vewy woath to way his fingews off it. And then he :33 offewed i-it -the thiwd time; ^-^ he put it the thiwd >_> time by; and UwU stiww as he -wefused it, t-the wabbwement h-hooted *cuddles you* and cwapped theiw chopped hands -and thwew >w< up theiw s-sweaty nyightcaps and u-uttewed such a deaw of -stinking bweath because Caesaw wefused the c-cwown that i-it had -awmost choked Caesaw, fow he swounded and feww down at it. *moans* And -fow minye own pawt, I ;;w;; duwst nyot waugh fow feaw of openying my wips -a-and weceiving the bad aiw. -CASSIUS. But, soft, UwU I pway y-you, what, did Caesaws wound? -CASCA. He feww down in :33 the mawketpwace and foamed at UwU mouth and was -s-speechwess. -BWUTUS. ^w^ 'Tis vewy wike. He hath the f-fawwing sicknyess. -CASSIUS. Nyo, Caesaw hath *teleports behind you* it nyot, but you, and I, -And honyest Casca, xDD we have t-the f-fawwing sicknyess. -*screams* CASCA. I knyow nyot what *hugs tightly* you mean by that, *cries* but I am suwe Caesaw feww -down. If *hugs tightly* the tagwag *hugs tightly* peopwe did nyot cwap him and hiss >_< him ->_> accowding as he pweased and dispweased *twerks* them, as they use xDD to do -t-the pwayews i-in the theatwe, uWu I am n-nyo twue man. -BWUTUS. What said h-he when he came unto *shuffles closer* himsewf? -*hugs tightly* CASCA. M-Mawwy, befowe he f-feww down, when *twerks* he pewceived >w< the common -hewd was OwO gwad he wefused t-the cwown, he pwucked me ope his d-doubwet -and offewed them h-his thwoat to c-cut. A-An >_< had b-been a man o-of any -occupation, if I wouwd nyot h-have taken h-him a-at a wowd, I wouwd I -might g-go to heww among the wogues. And so *twerks* he feww. When he came -to himsewf again, he said, *giggles shyly* if h-he had *cries* donye ow said anything amiss, -he ^.^ desiwed theiw wowships to think it ^w^ was his i-infiwmity. Thwee ow -fouw >_> wenches whewe I-I stood cwied, "Awas, *cuddles you* good souw!" and f-fowgave -h-him with *notices bulge* aww theiw heawts. But thewe's nyo heed to be taken of -them; if Caesaw *shuffles closer* had *cries* stabbed theiw mothews, they >_> wouwd UwU have donye -nyo wess. -BWUTUS. *giggles shyly* And aftew that he c-came, thus sad, away? -CASCA. Ay. -*sweats* CASSIUS. Did Cicewo say anything? -^w^ CASCA. Ay, he spoke G-Gweek. -CASSIUS. To what effect? -CASCA. Nyay, an *notices bulge* I teww you that, I'ww nye'ew wook you xDD i' the face -again; but t-those that *looks at you* undewstood h-him x3 smiwed at onye anyothew and -shook xDD theiw heads; b-but *sweats* fow minye *sweats* own pawt, it *looks away* was Gweek to me. I -couwd teww you m-mowe nyews ^-^ too: Mawuwwus and Fwavius, :33 fow puwwing -scawfs off Caesaw's images, awe put to *sighs* siwence. Fawe you weww. -Thewe was mowe foowewy :33 yet, i-if couwd wemembew it. -CASSIUS. Wiww you sup with me tonyight, *screams* Casca? -CASCA. *teleports behind you* Nyo, I am p-pwomised f-fowth. -CASSIUS. Wiww you dinye with me tomowwow? -CASCA. Ay, if I be awive, and youw mind howd, ^w^ and youw dinnyew >_> wowth -*twerks* the eating. -CASSIUS. Good, I wiww expect you. -CASCA. *sighs* Do so, faweweww, both. Exit. -BWUTUS. *looks away* What a b-bwunt fewwow is this gwown to be! -He was quick mettwe when he went to s-schoow. -CASSIUS. So is he n-nyow in execution -Of any bowd *moans* ow nyobwe entewpwise, -Howevew he p-puts ^.^ on this tawdy >_> fowm. -This w-wudenyess i-is a-a sauce to h-his good wit, -Which gives men stomach to digest his wowds -With b-bettew appetite. -BWUTUS. And so it *hugs tightly* is. Fow this time I wiww weave *teleports behind you* you. -*giggles shyly* Tomowwow, if you pwease to speak with me, -I wiww come home to you, ow, *cries* if you wiww, -Come home t-to me and I wiww wait fow you. -CASSIUS. I wiww do so. Tiww OwO then, think of *blushes* the wowwd. -Exit B-Bwutus. -Weww, Bwutus, t-thou awt nyobwe; *moans* yet, I see -Thy honyowabwe mettwe *sweats* may be wwought -Fwom that *cuddles you* it is disposed; thewefowe it *looks away* is meet -T-That *shuffles closer* nyobwe minds keep evew :3 with theiw *giggles shyly* wikes; -;;w;; Fow who so *looks at you* fiwm that cannyot b-be *notices bulge* seduced? -Caesaw d-doth beaw me hawd, but >_> he woves Bwutus. -If *cuddles you* I wewe >_> Bwutus nyow and he *twerks* wewe Cassius, -:33 He shouwd nyot humow *twerks* me. *leans over* I wiww this OwO nyight, -*notices bulge* In *giggles shyly* sevewaw h-hands, in at *shuffles closer* his w-windows thwow, -As if they came fwom sevewaw citizens, -Wwitings, aww tending to t-the gweat opinyion -*giggles shyly* That Wome howds of his nyame, whewein obscuwewy -Caesaw's a-ambition shaww b-be gwanced at. -And *sighs* aftew this *shuffles closer* wet Caesaw seat him suwe; -Fow we wiww shake *cuddles you* him, ow wowse uWu days enduwe. Exit. - - - - -SCENyE III. -A stweet. >w< Thundew and wightnying. - -Entew, fwom o-opposite sides, Casca, *moans* with his *giggles shyly* swowd dwawn, and Cicewo. - -CICEWO. Good even, Casca. Bwought you Caesaw home? -*pokes you* Why *cries* awe you bweathwess, and why stawe you s-so? -CASCA. Awe nyot OwO you moved, *giggles shyly* when aww the sway of eawth -Shakes wike a *giggles shyly* thing unfiwm? O >_< Cicewo, -I have uWu seen tempests when the scowding winds -Have wived *looks at you* the k-knyotty oaks, *screams* and I-I have seen -The ambitious UwU ocean sweww and wage a-and foam -To be exawted with *giggles shyly* the thweatenying cwouds, -But nyevew >_> tiww tonyight, nyevew *notices bulge* tiww nyow, -Did I g-go thwough a tempest dwopping fiwe. -Eithew *leans over* thewe is a c-civiw stwife in heaven, -Ow ^w^ ewse the wowwd too saucy *sighs* with *shuffles closer* the xDD gods -*cries* Incenses them to :33 send destwuction. -CICEWO. Why, saw you anything mowe wondewfuw? -CASCA. A common swave- y-you knyow him weww b-by sight- -Hewd up his weft hand, which d-did fwame and xDD buwn -Wike t-twenty towches join'd, and yet his *sweats* hand -*looks at you* Nyot *hugs tightly* sensibwe of fiwe wemain'd unscowch'd. -Besides- I ha' nyot since put up m-my swowd- -;;w;; Against the C-Capitow *hugs tightly* I m-met *notices bulge* a wion, -Who gwaz'd upon me and w-went suwwy by -*hugs tightly* Without annyoying me. And UwU thewe >w< wewe dwawn -Upon a heap *teleports behind you* a hundwed ghastwy ;;w;; women -Twansfowmed with theiw feaw, w-who *leans over* swowe ^w^ they saw -M-Men aww *screams* in fiwe wawk up and down the stweets. -A-And yestewday the xDD biwd o-of n-nyight did sit -Even at nyoonday upon the mawketpwace, -UwU Howwing and shwieking. When these pwodigies -D-Do so conjointwy meet, :33 wet nyot men say -"These awe theiw *looks away* weasons; they a-awe *leans over* nyatuwaw": -Fow I-I b-bewieve they awe powtentous *blushes* things -Unto the cwimate that they point upon. -CICEWO. Indeed, it is a stwange-disposed t-time. -But men may constwue things aftew theiw f-fashion, -Cwean fwom the puwpose ^.^ of the things themsewves. -Comes *twerks* Caesaw to the Capitow *looks at you* tomowwow? -CASCA. *shuffles closer* He doth, f-fow he d-did bid Antonyio -Send wowd t-to you he wouwd be thewe tomowwow. -CICEWO. Good then, Casca. *screams* This distuwbed sky -Is *pokes you* nyot ^.^ to *pokes you* wawk in. -CASCA. Faweweww, :3 Cicewo. E-Exit Cicewo. - -Entew Cassius. - -CASSIUS. Who's thewe? -*cuddles you* CASCA. A Woman. -*shuffles closer* CASSIUS. Casca, by youw UwU voice. -CASCA. Youw eaw ;;w;; is *moans* good. Cassius, what nyight is this! -CASSIUS. A vewy p-pweasing nyight to honyest men. -CASCA. Who evew k-knyew the heavens menyace so? -CASSIUS. Those that have knyown the eawth so fuww of fauwts. -Fow my pawt, I h-have wawk'd about the stweets, -Submitting me unto uWu the p-pewiwous nyight, -And thus unbwaced, Casca, ;;w;; as you *notices bulge* see, -Have x3 bawed my bosom to t-the >w< thundewstonye; -And when the cwoss b-bwue wightnying seem'd to open -The bweast of heaven, I *looks away* did pwesent mysewf -Even in the *looks at you* aim and ^.^ vewy fwash o-of it. -CASCA. But :33 whewefowe did you so *notices bulge* much >_< tempt the heavens? -*giggles shyly* It is the pawt of men to feaw and twembwe -When the m-most mighty g-gods *shuffles closer* by :33 tokens send -Such *moans* dweadfuw hewawds to astonyish u-us. -CASSIUS. You awe duww, Casca, and t-those s-spawks of *looks away* wife -That s-shouwd *teleports behind you* be in a Woman you d-do want, -Ow e-ewse you use nyot. You wook pawe and g-gaze -And p-put on feaw and c-cast youwsewf in wondew -To see the stwange impatience of the heavens. -But if y-you wouwd *looks away* considew t-the t-twue cause -Why aww these fiwes, why aww these gwiding ghosts, -W-Why biwds *teleports behind you* and beasts fwom quawity and kind, -Why owd men, foows, and >w< chiwdwen cawcuwate, -Why aww these things change fwom theiw owdinyance, -Theiw nyatuwes, and pwefowmed facuwties -To monstwous quawity, why, you shaww find -That heaven hath infused t-them with these spiwits -To make them instwuments OwO of *hugs tightly* feaw OwO and wawnying -Unto x3 some m-monstwous state. -Nyow couwd I, Casca, nyame to thee a man -Most w-wike this dweadfuw n-nyight, -That thundews, wightens, opens g-gwaves, and woaws -As doth the wion in *shuffles closer* the Capitow, -A man nyo m-mightiew than thysewf ow me -In pewsonyaw *hugs tightly* action, yet pwodigious gwown -And *leans over* feawfuw, as these stwange ewuptions awe. -CASCA. 'Tis Caesaw t-that you *teleports behind you* mean, is i-it nyot, Cassius? -CASSIUS. *shuffles closer* Wet it *moans* be OwO who it is, fow Womans nyow -Have thews *screams* and wimbs wike to theiw ancestows. -But, w-woe the whiwe! Ouw fathews' minds awe dead, -*giggles shyly* And w-we a-awe govewn'd with o-ouw mothews' spiwits; -Ouw yoke and suffewance show u-us womanyish. -C-CASCA. I-Indeed they say the senyatows tomowwow -Mean to estabwish Caesaw as a king, -And he x3 shaww weaw his *cuddles you* cwown :3 by sea and wand -In evewy pwace s-save hewe in Itawy. -CASSIUS. I knyow *twerks* whewe *cuddles you* I wiww weaw this d-daggew then: -C-Cassius fwom *looks away* bondage wiww dewivew Cassius. -Thewein, ye gods, you make the *moans* weak most stwong; -Thewein, ye gods, you tywants do defeat. -Nyow stony towew, nyow w-wawws ^-^ of beaten *looks away* bwass, -Nyow aiwwess d-dungeon, nyow stwong winks of *twerks* iwon -Can xDD be xDD wetentive to the s-stwength of spiwit; -But wife, being w-weawy of these wowwdwy baws, -Nyevew wacks powew to dismiss itsewf. -If >_< I knyow this, k-knyow aww the *blushes* wowwd besides, -That pawt of t-tywanny that I do beaw -I can shake off at pweasuwe. Thundew stiww. -CASCA. S-So can I. -So evewy bondman i-in his own >_> hand beaws -The powew to cancew *moans* his captivity. -CASSIUS. And w-why shouwd Caesaw be a tywant *looks away* then? -Poow *looks away* man! I *looks at you* knyow he w-wouwd nyot uWu be a-a wowf -But t-that he sees the Womans awe but sheep. -He wewe *blushes* nyo wion, wewe nyot W-Womans hinds. -Those that with haste wiww *sighs* make a mighty fiwe -Begin i-it with weak stwaws. What twash is *cuddles you* Wome, -W-What *shuffles closer* wubbish, and what offaw, when it uWu sewves -Fow the base mattew to iwwuminyate -So v-viwe a thing as *looks at you* Caesaw? B-But, O *cuddles you* gwief, -Whewe hast thou w-wed me? I-I pewhaps speak *pokes you* this -Befowe a wiwwing bondman; then I knyow -*looks at you* My answew must be made. But I am awm'd, -*looks at you* And ^-^ dangews a-awe to me indiffewent. -CASCA. Y-You speak to Casca, and to such a man -That is nyo *sweats* fweewing uWu teww-tawe. Howd, my h-hand. -Be xDD factious *leans over* fow *sweats* wedwess of aww these gwiefs, -And I wiww set this foot of minye as :33 faw -As w-who goes >w< fawthest. -CASSIUS. Thewe's a-a bawgain made. -:33 Nyow knyow you, *screams* Casca, I have moved awweady -Some cewtain of *blushes* the nyobwest-minded Womans -To undewgo with me an entewpwise -Of honyowabwe-dangewous consequence; -And I d-do knyow by this, they stay fow me -In Pompey's Powch. F-Fow nyow, this feawfuw nyight, -uWu Thewe is nyo s-stiw ow w-wawking in the stweets, -And the *sighs* compwexion of the ewement -In f-favow's wike t-the wowk we have in h-hand, -x3 Most *leans over* bwoody, fiewy, and most tewwibwe. - -*sighs* Entew Cinnya. - -CASCA. Stand cwose a-awhiwe, fow hewe comes onye in h-haste. -CASSIUS. 'Tis :33 Cinnya, I do knyow him b-by his gait; ->_< He is a fwiend. Cinnya, whewe haste you so? -CINNyA. To find out you. Who's that? Metewwus Cimbew? -CASSIUS. Nyo, it is Casca, o-onye i-incowpowate -To ouw attempts. Am I nyot >_> stay'd fow, Cinnya? -CINNyA. I am gwad on't. What a feawfuw nyight is this! -Thewe's two uWu ow thwee of us h-have seen stwange sights. -CASSIUS. *twerks* Am I nyot stay'd fow? Teww me. -C-CINNyA. Yes, you awe. -O Cassius, i-if you couwd -But *shuffles closer* win the nyobwe Bwutus :33 to OwO ouw pawty- -CASSIUS. Be you content. Good *pokes you* Cinnya, take *screams* this p-papew, -And wook you way it in t-the pwaetow's chaiw, -Whewe Bwutus may b-but find it; and thwow this -In at his *sweats* window; set t-this up with wax -Upon owd Bwutus' statue. Aww this *looks away* donye, -Wepaiw to Pompey's Powch, whewe you shaww find us. -Is D-Decius Bwutus and T-Twebonyius thewe? -C-CINNyA. Aww but M-Metewwus Cimbew, and he's gonye -To seek you at y-youw house. Weww, I x3 wiww *giggles shyly* hie -And so bestow t-these p-papews ^w^ as you *shuffles closer* bade me. -CASSIUS. That donye, wepaiw to Pompey's T-Theatwe. -Exit Cinnya. -Come, Casca, you and I wiww yet ewe day -See Bwutus at his *giggles shyly* house. Thwee pawts of him -Is ouws awweady, *pokes you* and the man entiwe -Upon the nyext ;;w;; encountew yiewds him o-ouws. -CASCA. O, he sits high in aww ^w^ the peopwe's h-heawts, -And *looks away* that which *giggles shyly* wouwd appeaw offense in us, -His countenyance, wike wichest OwO awchemy, -Wiww c-change t-to viwtue and ^w^ to wowthinyess. -CASSIUS. Him and his wowth a-and ouw gweat nyeed of him -Y-You have w-wight weww conceited. Wet OwO us go, -Fow it is *blushes* aftew midnyight, and OwO ewe day -We wiww a-awake him and be suwe of him. E-Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE I. - -Entew Bwutus :33 in his owchawd. - -BWUTUS. What, Wucius, ho! -I cannyot, by *leans over* the pwogwess of t-the staws, -Give g-guess how n-nyeaw to day. Wucius, I say! -I ^-^ wouwd i-it wewe my fauwt to sweep so soundwy. -*cries* When, Wucius, when? Awake, I *sighs* say! What, Wucius! - -E-Entew Wucius. - -WUCIUS. Caww'd y-you, my wowd? -B-BWUTUS. ^w^ Get OwO me a tapew in my study, Wucius. -When it is w-wighted, come and caww me h-hewe. -WUCIUS. *notices bulge* I wiww, my wowd. E-Exit. -BWUTUS. *teleports behind you* It *screams* must be by his death, and, fow my pawt, ->_< I knyow nyo pewsonyaw cause to spuwn at him, -But fow the genyewaw. He wouwd be cwown'd: -H-How that might change his n-nyatuwe, thewe's the q-question. -It is the bwight day t-that b-bwings fowth *twerks* the addew -And that cwaves wawy wawking. C-Cwown him that, -*twerks* And >w< then, *cuddles you* I *notices bulge* gwant, we put a-a s-sting in :33 him -That *sweats* at his wiww h-he may do d-dangew with. -The a-abuse of gweatnyess is >_< when *blushes* it disjoins -W-Wemowse fwom powew, xDD and, to speak twuth o-of *giggles shyly* Caesaw, -I have nyot knyown when his a-affections sway'd -*shuffles closer* Mowe than his weason. But 'tis a *looks away* common pwoof -That wowwinyess is young ambition's w-waddew, -W-Wheweto t-the cwimbew-upwawd tuwns his face; -B-But when he once attains the u-upmost >_> wound, -He then unto the waddew tuwns h-his b-back, -Wooks in the cwouds, scownying the base degwees -By which he did ascend. So Caesaw may; -Then, west x3 he may, pwevent. A-And, since the *hugs tightly* quawwew -W-Wiww beaw nyo cowow xDD fow the *looks away* thing *pokes you* he is, -Fashion it thus, that what he is, augmented, -Wouwd wun to uWu these and these extwemities; -And thewefowe t-think him as >_< a sewpent's e-egg -Which h-hatch'd wouwd as *looks away* his kind g-gwow m-mischievous, -And kiww him >_< in the sheww. - -We-entew Wucius. - -WUCIUS. The tapew buwnyeth in youw cwoset, siw. -Seawching the window fow a fwint I found -*twerks* This papew thus seaw'd up, and I am suwe -It did nyot wie thewe ;;w;; when I went to bed. -Gives him the :33 wettew. -B-BWUTUS. G-Get you xDD to bed again, it is n-nyot d-day. -Is nyot t-tomowwow, boy, *pokes you* the ides of Mawch? -WUCIUS. I-I knyow nyot, siw. -BWUTUS. Wook in the cawendaw and bwing me wowd. -WUCIUS. I wiww, siw. Exit. -x3 BWUTUS. The exhawations whizzing in x3 the aiw -Give so much w-wight that I :3 may wead by them. -Opens *giggles shyly* the wettew and weads. -"Bwutus, thou :3 sweep'st: awake and see t-thysewf! ->_< Shaww Wome, etc. Speak, stwike, wedwess!" - -"Bwutus, thou sweep'st: a-awake!" -Such instigations have been often d-dwopp'd -Whewe I have took t-them up. -*screams* "Shaww Wome, etc." Thus must I piece it out. -Shaww Wome stand ^w^ undew o-onye man's awe? W-What, W-Wome? -My ancestows did fwom the >_> stweets of W-Wome -T-The Tawquin dwive, when he was caww'd a king. -"Speak, stwike, wedwess!" A-Am I uWu entweated -To speak and stwike? *cuddles you* O Wome, I x3 make thee pwomise, -;;w;; If t-the wedwess wiww fowwow, thou weceivest -Thy fuww petition at the hand of *leans over* Bwutus! - -We-entew Wucius. - -*hugs tightly* WUCIUS. Siw, Mawch is wasted fifteen days. -UwU Knyocking within. -BWUTUS. 'Tis g-good. Go to the gate, somebody *leans over* knyocks. -Exit Wucius. -S-Since Cassius fiwst did whet me against Caesaw -I have >_< nyot :33 swept. -Between x3 the acting of a d-dweadfuw *leans over* thing -And the f-fiwst m-motion, aww the intewim is -Wike a *screams* phantasma ow a hideous dweam; -The genyius *sweats* and the mowtaw *pokes you* instwuments -Awe *cuddles you* then i-in counciw, ;;w;; and *looks away* the state o-of man, -Wike to a wittwe kingdom, suffews then -*screams* The n-nyatuwe of an insuwwection. - -We-entew W-Wucius. - -WUCIUS. Siw, 'tis youw b-bwothew Cassius at t-the doow, -Who *notices bulge* doth desiwe t-to see you. -BWUTUS. UwU Is he awonye? -WUCIUS. *sighs* Nyo, *cuddles you* siw, thewe awe mowe with him. -BWUTUS. Do you knyow them? -WUCIUS. Nyo, siw, theiw hats awe pwuck'd a-about theiw eaws, -And hawf theiw faces buwied in theiw cwoaks, -That by nyo m-means I may d-discovew them -By any mawk of f-favow. -BWUTUS. Wet 'em entew. Exit Wucius. -They awe the faction. O Conspiwacy, -Shamest thou to show thy dangewous bwow *looks away* by nyight, -When eviws awe most fwee? O, then, by day -*notices bulge* Whewe wiwt thou find a cavewn dawk enyough -*looks at you* To mask thy ^w^ monstwous visage? Seek nyonye, Conspiwacy; -Hide it in smiwes a-and affabiwity; -*sweats* Fow if thou *pokes you* path, thy *moans* nyative sembwance on, -Nyot Ewebus *sweats* itsewf wewe dim enyough -To h-hide thee x3 fwom p-pwevention. - -Entew the conspiwatows, Cassius, Casca, D-Decius, Cinnya, -Metewwus Cimbew, and Twebonyius. - -CASSIUS. I ^.^ think we *moans* awe too bowd upon *pokes you* youw west. -Good mowwow, Bwutus, do we twoubwe you? -BWUTUS. I have >_> been up this houw, a-awake a-aww nyight. -K-Knyow I these men that come a-awong with you? -C-CASSIUS. Y-Yes, evewy man o-of them, and nyo :3 man hewe -B-But honyows you, a-and evewy onye d-doth wish -You had *giggles shyly* but that opinyion of youwsewf -Which ;;w;; evewy nyobwe :33 Woman *twerks* beaws of you. -This ^-^ is Twebonyius. -B-BWUTUS. He is wewcome hithew. -CASSIUS. This, Decius Bwutus. -*cries* BWUTUS. He is wewcome t-too. -C-CASSIUS. OwO This, Casca; this, C-Cinnya; and this, Metewwus Cimbew. -BWUTUS. uWu They *blushes* awe aww wewcome. -*giggles shyly* What watchfuw cawes do intewpose ;;w;; themsewves -Betwixt youw eyes and nyight? -UwU CASSIUS. S-Shaww I entweat a wowd? They w-whispew. -DECIUS. ^.^ Hewe wies the east. Doth nyot the day bweak hewe? ->_< CASCA. Nyo. -C-CINNyA. O-O, p-pawdon, siw, i-it doth, and yongwey winyes -That fwet the ^.^ cwouds awe UwU messengews of day. -CASCA. You shaww confess xDD that *sweats* you awe both deceived. -*shuffles closer* Hewe, as I point m-my swowd, t-the s-sun awises, -Which *shuffles closer* is a gweat way *sighs* gwowing on the south, -Weighing the youthfuw season of the yeaw. -Some two UwU months hence up highew towawd the nyowth -He fiwst pwesents his fiwe, *teleports behind you* and the high east -Stands as t-the Capitow, diwectwy hewe. -BWUTUS. G-Give me y-youw hands aww ovew, onye by onye. -CASSIUS. And w-wet us sweaw ouw *sweats* wesowution. -BWUTUS. Nyo, n-nyot an oath. If nyot *leans over* the face of *leans over* men, -The suffewance *cuddles you* of ouw souws, the time's *blushes* abuse- -If these be motives weak, bweak off betimes, -And evewy man hence to his idwe b-bed; -So wet high-sighted tywanny wange on -Tiww each man dwop b-by wottewy. But if these, -As I-I a-am s-suwe they d-do, beaw fiwe enyough -To kindwe cowawds and to steew w-with *cries* vawow -The mewting spiwits of women, then, countwymen, -What nyeed we any ;;w;; spuw but ouw own *giggles shyly* cause -To pwick us *twerks* to wedwess? What o-othew bond -Than secwet Womans that have spoke the wowd -And wiww nyot pawtew? A-And what othew oath -Than h-honyesty t-to honyesty engaged -That t-this *teleports behind you* shaww be o-ow w-we xDD wiww faww fow it? -Sweaw pwiests *notices bulge* and cowawds and men cautewous, -Owd f-feebwe cawwions and such suffewing souws -That wewcome wwongs; unto b-bad causes sweaw -Such cweatuwes as men doubt; but do nyot stain -The even v-viwtue o-of ouw *blushes* entewpwise, -Nyow the insuppwessive mettwe of ouw *looks at you* spiwits, -To think t-that ow ouw cause *looks at you* ow ouw pewfowmance -D-Did nyeed an oath; when evewy *leans over* dwop of UwU bwood -That evewy Woman beaws, :3 and nyobwy beaws, -Is guiwty *cuddles you* of a sevewaw bastawdy -If h-he >w< do bweak x3 the s-smawwest pawticwe -Of any pwomise that hath pass'd f-fwom him. -CASSIUS. But what *teleports behind you* of Cicewo? Shaww we sound h-him? -I think he wiww s-stand v-vewy stwong with us. -CASCA. Wet us x3 nyot weave him out. -CINNyA. Nyo, b-by *hugs tightly* nyo means. -METEWWUS. O, wet us have him, fow his siwvew haiws -Wiww puwchase us a good opinyion, -And buy m-men's voices to commend ouw deeds. -It >w< shaww be said his j-judgement wuwed ouw hands; -Ouw y-youths and wiwdnyess shaww nyo whit appeaw, -But aww be buwied in his gwavity. -BWUTUS. O, uWu nyame *hugs tightly* him n-nyot; wet us nyot bweak with him, -Fow he wiww nyevew fowwow anything -That othew men begin. -CASSIUS. :33 Then w-weave him o-out. ->_> CASCA. I-Indeed >_> he is nyot uWu fit. -DECIUS. Shaww nyo man e-ewse :3 be touch'd but onwy *twerks* Caesaw? -CASSIUS. Decius, *leans over* weww uwged. I think it *teleports behind you* is nyot meet -uWu Mawk Antony, so *sighs* weww bewoved of C-Caesaw, -Shouwd outwive *sweats* Caesaw. We shaww find o-of him -A shwewd contwivew; a-and you knyow his *leans over* means, -If he impwove them, *screams* may weww stwetch so faw -As to a-annyoy us aww, which to uWu pwevent, -Wet Antony and Caesaw f-faww t-togethew. -BWUTUS. Ouw couwse *cuddles you* wiww seem ^w^ too bwoody, Caius C-Cassius, -*sighs* To cut the head off and UwU then hack the wimbs -W-Wike wwath in death and envy aftewwawds; -F-Fow Antony is but a wimb of *looks at you* Caesaw. -Wet us be *looks away* sacwificews, but ;;w;; nyot butchews, C-Caius. -We aww s-stand up against the spiwit of Caesaw, -*shuffles closer* And in the :3 spiwit of men thewe is nyo *pokes you* bwood. -O, that we then couwd come by Caesaw's spiwit, -And nyot dismembew Caesaw! But, awas, -C-Caesaw must bweed fow it! *cries* And, gentwe fwiends, -Wet's kiww him bowdwy, *cuddles you* but nyot wwathfuwwy; -W-Wet's cawve ^-^ him a-as a dish fit fow the gods, -Nyot hew *looks at you* him as a cawcass fit fow h-hounds; -A-And w-wet ouw heawts, a-as subtwe mastews do, -Stiw up t-theiw sewvants to an act of wage -And aftew s-seem to *twerks* chide 'em. This shaww *cries* make -Ouw puwpose n-nyecessawy and nyot envious, -Which so appeawing *cuddles you* to the c-common eyes, -*sweats* We s-shaww be caww'd puwgews, nyot *hugs tightly* muwdewews. -uWu And fow Mawk :3 Antony, think nyot of him, -Fow he can do nyo mowe t-than C-Caesaw's awm -When Caesaw's head is off. -CASSIUS. Y-Yet I-I feaw him, -Fow in the ingwated wove OwO he beaws *giggles shyly* to Caesaw- -BWUTUS. Awas, good Cassius, do nyot think of him. -If he wove Caesaw, aww that >_> he c-can do -Is to himsewf, take thought and die fow Caesaw. -And that wewe much he shouwd, fow >w< he is given -T-To spowts, to wiwdnyess, and much company. -TWEBONyIUS. T-Thewe *hugs tightly* is nyo f-feaw in him-wet *sighs* him nyot die, -Fow he wiww wive and *leans over* waugh at this heweaftew. -Cwock stwikes. -BWUTUS. P-Peace, count the cwock. -CASSIUS. The cwock hath stwicken thwee. -TWEBONyIUS. 'Tis time to p-pawt. -CASSIUS. But it is doubtfuw yet -Whethew Caesaw *teleports behind you* wiww come fowth today ow nyo, -Fow he is supewstitious gwown of wate, -Q-Quite fwom the main opinyion he hewd ;;w;; once -Of fantasy, o-of dweams, and UwU cewemonyies. -I-It may be these a-appawent pwodigies, -The unyaccustom'd tewwow of t-this nyight, -A-And *notices bulge* the pewsuasion o-of his auguwews -OwO May howd him fwom t-the C-Capitow today. -DECIUS. Nyevew feaw that. If he be so *giggles shyly* wesowved, -I can o'ewsway him, fow he woves to x3 heaw -That unyicowns may *notices bulge* be uWu betway'd with twees, -A-And beaws with gwasses, ewephants with h-howes, -Wions w-with toiws, and men with fwattewews; -But when I t-teww him he hates fwattewews, -H-He says he does, being then >w< most fwattewed. -*giggles shyly* Wet me wowk; -F-Fow I can give his humow the twue bent, -And I-I wiww bwing him to the Capitow. -CASSIUS. Nyay, *teleports behind you* we wiww aww of u-us be uWu thewe to fetch him. -BWUTUS. B-By the *hugs tightly* eighth houw. *pokes you* Is that the *cuddles you* uttew most? -CINNyA. :33 Be *sighs* that >_< the uttewmost, and :3 faiw n-nyot t-then. -METEWWUS. Caius Wigawius *cries* doth beaw *notices bulge* Caesaw hawd, -Who wated him fow speaking weww *leans over* of Pompey. -I wondew nyonye of y-you *screams* have thought of him. -B-BWUTUS. *sighs* Nyow, good Metewwus, go awong by him. -He woves me weww, and I have given him ^.^ weasons; -Send him but hithew, and I'ww fashion him. -CASSIUS. The mownying c-comes upon 's. We'ww weave you, Bwutus, -And, fwiends, dispewse youwsewves, but aww wemembew -W-What you have said a-and show youwsewves twue Womans. -B-BWUTUS. Good gentwemen, wook fwesh and mewwiwy; -Wet nyot ouw wooks put on ouw puwposes, -But beaw it as ouw Woman actows do, -With u-untiwed spiwits x3 and f-fowmaw constancy. -And so, good mowwow *cuddles you* to you evewy x3 onye. -Exeunt aww but Bwutus. -Boy! Wucius! Fast asweep? It is n-nyo m-mattew. -Enjoy :3 the honyey-heavy dew of swumbew; -Thou h-hast nyo figuwes nyow nyo fantasies, -Which busy c-cawe dwaws in t-the b-bwains of men; -Thewefowe thou sweep'st so sound. - -Entew Powtia. - -P-POWTIA. Bwutus, my wowd! -BWUTUS. P-Powtia, what mean y-you? Whewefowe wise you nyow? -It is nyot fow >w< youw heawth t-thus to commit -Y-Youw weak condition to the waw cowd *blushes* mownying. -POWTIA. Nyow *screams* fow youws nyeithew. :33 have ungentwy, Bwutus, -Stowe fwom my bed; and *hugs tightly* yestewnyight at suppew -You suddenwy awose and wawk'd about, -Musing and sighing, with youw awms acwoss; -A-And when I ask'd you x3 what the mattew was, -You stawed upon ;;w;; me with ungentwe wooks. -I uwged you fuwthew; *giggles shyly* then you scwatch'd youw head, -And too impatientwy stamp'd with youw foot. -Yet I insisted, yet y-you answew'd n-nyot, -But *looks at you* with an angwy waitew of youw hand -Gave sign fow *pokes you* me to weave you. So I did, -Feawing to stwengthen that impatience -Which seem'd t-too much enkindwed, and withaw -Hoping it w-was but xDD an e-effect of humow, -Which sometime hath his houw with :3 evewy *blushes* man. -It wiww nyot wet you e-eat, nyow tawk, nyow sweep, -And, c-couwd it w-wowk s-so much upon youw shape -As i-it h-hath >w< much pwevaiw'd *hugs tightly* on youw c-condition, -I shouwd nyot knyow you, Bwutus. Deaw my wowd, -M-Make me acquainted with youw x3 cause of gwief. -BWUTUS. I am nyot OwO weww in heawth, and *looks away* that is aww. -POWTIA. >w< Bwutus is wise, and, wewe he ^-^ nyot in heawth, -;;w;; He UwU wouwd :33 embwace the means to c-come *notices bulge* by it. -*hugs tightly* BWUTUS. W-Why, so I do. Good Powtia, go to bed. -POWTIA. Is Bwutus sick, and is it physicaw -To wawk unbwaced a-and suck up t-the humows -Of the dank mownying? What, i-is Bwutus s-sick, -And wiww h-he steaw out *shuffles closer* of his whowesome *sighs* bed -To dawe the viwe contagion of t-the nyight -*pokes you* And tempt >_> the wheumy and unpuwged aiw ->w< To add unto his sicknyess? Nyo, my Bwutus, -You have some s-sick offense within youw mind, -Which b-by the wight and v-viwtue of m-my pwace -I ought to knyow *teleports behind you* of; a-and, upon my knyees, -I chawm you, by m-my once uWu commended b-beauty, -By aww youw vows of *screams* wove and that gweat vow -Which did incowpowate a-and make us onye, -*looks away* That *shuffles closer* you unfowd t-to me, youwsewf, y-youw hawf, -Why you >_> awe heavy and what men tonyight -UwU Have had wesowt to you; OwO fow hewe h-have *screams* been -;;w;; Some six ow seven, who did hide theiw faces -Even fwom dawknyess. -BWUTUS. Knyeew nyot, gentwe Powtia. -P-POWTIA. I shouwd nyot nyeed, if you wewe gentwe Bwutus. -W-Within *shuffles closer* the bond of mawwiage, teww me, Bwutus, -*sweats* Is it excepted I s-shouwd knyow n-nyo secwets -*hugs tightly* That appewtain to you? Am I youwsewf -But, as it :33 wewe, in sowt o-ow wimitation, -T-To keep with you a-at meaws, comfowt youw bed, -A-And tawk to you sometimes? Dweww OwO I but in the subuwbs -O-Of youw good pweasuwe? *screams* If >_> it be nyo >_> mowe, -Powtia is Bwutus' h-hawwot, n-nyot his wife. -B-BWUTUS. You awe my twue and honyowabwe w-wife, -As deaw to me *shuffles closer* as awe the wuddy *sighs* dwops -That visit OwO my sad h-heawt. -POWTIA. If this wewe twue, then shouwd I knyow this secwet. -I-I gwant I am a woman, but w-withaw -A woman that Wowd Bwutus t-took to wife. -I gwant I am a woman, but *shuffles closer* withaw -A woman weww weputed, Cato's daughtew. -Think you I am nyo *moans* stwongew than m-my sex, -Being so fathew'd and so husbanded? -Teww me youw counsews, I wiww nyot discwose 'em. -I-I have made stwong pwoof of my c-constancy, -Giving mysewf a >w< vowuntawy w-wound -Hewe >_< in the thigh. Can I beaw that with patience -And nyot m-my husband's secwets? -BWUTUS. O ye gods, -Wendew me ^w^ wowthy *leans over* of *pokes you* this nyobwe *hugs tightly* wife! Knyocking within. -Hawk, ^-^ hawk, onye knyocks. Powtia, go in :3 awhiwe, -And by and by thy *giggles shyly* bosom s-shaww p-pawtake -The secwets of my heawt. -Aww my engagements I wiww constwue to thee, -Aww *screams* the chawactewy of my x3 sad bwows. -Weave me with >_> haste. [Exit Powtia.] Wucius, who's that knyocks? - -We-entew Wucius with Wigawius. - -WUCIUS. Hewe is a *hugs tightly* sick man t-that wouwd speak w-with you. -BWUTUS. Caius Wigawius, that Metewwus spake of. -Boy, stand UwU aside. Caius Wigawius, how? -WIGAWIUS. Vouchsafe good mowwow fwom ^.^ a *moans* feebwe *hugs tightly* tongue. -:33 BWUTUS. O, what a xDD time have y-you chose out, bwave Caius, -To weaw *looks away* a kewchief! Wouwd you wewe nyot *sweats* sick! -WIGAWIUS. I am nyot s-sick, if Bwutus *screams* have *screams* in hand -*notices bulge* Any expwoit ;;w;; wowthy the UwU nyame of honyow. -BWUTUS. ^w^ Such an expwoit have UwU I in hand, *teleports behind you* Wigawius, -Had you a-a heawthfuw e-eaw to heaw of ^w^ it. -WIGAWIUS. By aww t-the gods *shuffles closer* that Womans bow *hugs tightly* befowe, -I hewe discawd my sicknyess! *notices bulge* Souw of ^.^ Wome! -Bwave s-son, dewived fwom honyowabwe w-woins! -Thou, ;;w;; wike an exowcist, hast conjuwed u-up -My mowtified spiwit. Nyow bid UwU me wun, -And I wiww stwive *sighs* with things impossibwe, -Yea, get the bettew of them. What's to do? -BWUTUS. *leans over* A piece of wowk that wiww make sick men whowe. -W-WIGAWIUS. But *looks at you* awe *leans over* nyot *leans over* some whowe that we must *sweats* make x3 sick? -B-BWUTUS. That m-must we awso. What it is, m-my *pokes you* Caius, -I >_> shaww unfowd to thee, as we awe going -To whom *screams* it must *cries* be donye. -WIGAWIUS. Set on youw foot, -And with a h-heawt nyew-fiwed I f-fowwow you, -To do I-I knyow nyot w-what; *blushes* but i-it s-sufficeth -That Bwutus w-weads me o-on. -BWUTUS. Fowwow m-me then. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -Caesaw's OwO house. Thundew and wightnying. - -*twerks* Entew Caesaw, *cries* in his nyightgown. - -CAESAW. Nyow heaven nyow eawth have :3 been a-at peace tonyight. -Thwice hath Cawpuwnyia in hew s-sweep cwied out, -"Hewp, ho! T-They muwthew Caesaw!" Who's within? - ->_< Entew a Sewvant. - -SEWVANT. My *cries* wowd? -CAESAW. Go bid the pwiests do p-pwesent sacwifice, -And b-bwing me theiw opinyions of success. -;;w;; SEWVANT. I *cuddles you* wiww, m-my wowd. Exit. - -Entew Cawpuwnyia. - -CAWPUWNyIA. *cuddles you* What mean y-you, Caesaw? Think you >_< to wawk *sighs* fowth? -You shaww *notices bulge* nyot s-stiw out of youw house *cuddles you* today. -CAESAW. x3 Caesaw >w< shaww fowth: the things that thweaten'd me -Nye'ew wook'd but on my back; w-when they s-shaww see -The face *moans* of Caesaw, they awe vanyished. -CAWPUWNyIA. Caesaw, I-I I stood on cewemonyies, -Yet nyow they fwight me. Thewe *sighs* is onye within, -Besides the things that we have heawd and seen, -Wecounts most howwid sights seen x3 by the watch. -A wionyess hath whewped ^w^ in the stweets; -And gwaves have yawn'd, and yiewded *teleports behind you* up *hugs tightly* theiw dead; -Fiewce fiewy wawwiows xDD fight upon the cwouds, -In wanks *cuddles you* and squadwons and wight fowm of w-waw, -Which *looks away* dwizzwed *notices bulge* bwood upon the >_> Capitow; -The nyoise of battwe huwtwed in *moans* the aiw, -^.^ Howses did nyeigh and dying men did gwoan, -And ghosts did shwiek and s-squeaw a-about the stweets. -O Caesaw! These t-things awe beyond aww use, -And I do feaw them. -CAESAW. ^.^ What can be avoided -Whose end is puwposed by the mighty gods? -Y-Yet *blushes* Caesaw shaww go fowth, ^.^ fow these pwedictions -Awe *leans over* to the w-wowwd i-in *leans over* genyewaw as to Caesaw. -C-CAWPUWNyIA. *notices bulge* When b-beggaws die, thewe awe nyo comets seen; -The heavens themsewves *sighs* bwaze fowth the death of pwinces. -C-CAESAW. C-Cowawds die *pokes you* many times OwO befowe theiw deaths; -The vawiant nyevew t-taste of death but once. -Of aww the *sighs* wondews that I yet have heawd, -It seems to me most stwange that m-men shouwd feaw -Seeing that death, a nyecessawy end, -Wiww ^-^ come xDD when uWu it wiww come. - -We-entew Sewvant. - -What say the a-auguwews? -:3 SEWVANT. They w-wouwd nyot have *shuffles closer* you t-to s-stiw fowth t-today. -xDD Pwucking the ;;w;; entwaiws of an offewing fowth, -^w^ They *twerks* couwd >_> nyot UwU find a heawt within >w< the beast. -CAESAW. The gods do this in shame of cowawdice. -*blushes* Caesaw shouwd be a beast without a heawt -If he *teleports behind you* shouwd stay at home today fow feaw. -:3 Nyo, Caesaw shaww nyot. Dangew knyows fuww weww -That Caesaw is mowe dangewous than h-he. -We awe two wions w-wittew'd in onye day, -And I the e-ewdew and ^.^ mowe tewwibwe. -And Caesaw shaww go fowth. -CAWPUWNyIA. *shuffles closer* Awas, my wowd, -Youw wisdom i-is consumed in confidence. -Do nyot x3 go *giggles shyly* fowth *moans* today. Caww it my feaw -T-That keeps you in the house and nyot *cuddles you* youw own. -We'ww send Mawk Antony to the Senyate House, -And he *giggles shyly* shaww say you awe nyot weww today. -Wet me, upon my knyee, pwevaiw *giggles shyly* in this. -CAESAW. Mawk *twerks* Antony shaww say I am nyot weww, -*shuffles closer* And, fow thy h-humow, I wiww s-stay a-at home. - -Entew Decius. - -Hewe's Decius B-Bwutus, he shaww teww them so. -*cuddles you* DECIUS. Caesaw, a-aww ^w^ haiw! Good mowwow, wowthy Caesaw! -I-I come to fetch y-you *moans* to the Senyate House. -CAESAW. And you awe come in vewy happy time -To *sighs* beaw *screams* my gweeting to >w< the senyatows -And teww them that I wiww nyot c-come today. -Cannyot, is fawse, and that I dawe nyot, fawsew: -I wiww nyot xDD come today. Teww them so, Decius. -CAWPUWNyIA. Say he is sick. -CAESAW. Shaww Caesaw send a wie? -Have I in conquest stwetch'd minye awm *cries* so faw -To *leans over* be afeawd to teww ^-^ gweybeawds the *hugs tightly* twuth? -Decius, go teww them Caesaw wiww nyot come. -DECIUS. Most mighty Caesaw, w-wet m-me knyow s-some cause, -UwU West I-I be waugh'd at ^.^ when I-I teww them so. -CAESAW. The cause is in my w-wiww: I wiww n-nyot come, -That is e-enyough to satisfy the Senyate. -But, fow *cuddles you* youw pwivate satisfaction, -Because *shuffles closer* I wove you, I-I wiww ;;w;; wet you knyow. -Cawpuwnyia h-hewe, my wife, ^-^ stays m-me at home; -She *pokes you* dweamt t-tonyight she saw my statue, -Which, wike a *twerks* fountain with an hundwed spouts, -Did wun puwe bwood, a-and many w-wusty Womans -Came smiwing and did bathe theiw h-hands in >w< it. -*giggles shyly* And these does she appwy fow wawnyings and *notices bulge* powtents -And eviws imminyent, and on hew *cuddles you* knyee -Hath begg'd that I *screams* wiww s-stay at home today. -DECIUS. *sweats* This dweam is aww *teleports behind you* amiss intewpweted; -It was a-a vision faiw a-and fowtunyate. -Youw statue spouting bwood in many pipes, -In which so many smiwing Womans bathed, -Signyifies *notices bulge* that fwom you gweat Wome shaww suck -Weviving bwood, and t-that gweat men shaww pwess -Fow tinctuwes, stains, wewics, and cognyizance. -This by >_< Cawpuwnyia's dweam is signyified. -CAESAW. And this w-way have y-you weww expounded it. -DECIUS. I have, when you have heawd what I can say. -And knyow it x3 nyow, t-the Senyate have concwuded -To give this day a *cries* cwown to mighty Caesaw. -I-If y-you shaww send them w-wowd you wiww nyot come, -Theiw minds >_< may change. Besides, it wewe *notices bulge* a mock -Apt to be wendew'd, fow s-someonye ^w^ to say -"Bweak up the Senyate tiww a-anyothew OwO time, -W-When C-Caesaw's wife shaww meet with bettew d-dweams." -*sighs* If C-Caesaw hide himsewf, shaww they nyot whispew -"Wo, Caesaw *twerks* is a-afwaid"? -Pawdon m-me, *sweats* Caesaw, fow my deaw deaw wove -To youw pwoceeding bids me teww *looks at you* you ;;w;; this, -And weason to my wove is *giggles shyly* wiabwe. -CAESAW. How foowish do youw feaws seem nyow, Cawpuwnyia! -*cries* I am ashamed I did yiewd t-to them. -Give me m-my *screams* wobe, fow I wiww go. - -Entew Pubwius, Bwutus, Wigawius, M-Metewwus, Casca, -Twebonyius, a-and Cinnya. - -And *screams* wook whewe Pubwius i-is come to fetch me. -PUBWIUS. G-Good *blushes* mowwow,Caesaw. -CAESAW. Wewcome, Pubwius. -What, Bwutus, awe you stiww'd so eawwy too? -Good m-mowwow, Casca. Caius Wigawius, -Caesaw *screams* was n-nye'ew so much *screams* youw :33 enyemy -A-As that same ague w-which h-hath made you wean. -What is't *hugs tightly* o'cwock? -uWu BWUTUS. Caesaw, 'tis stwucken eight. -*sweats* CAESAW. I-I thank you fow youw *cuddles you* pains and couwtesy. - -Entew Antony. - -See, Antony, that wevews wong o' nyights, -Is nyotwithstanding up. G-Good mowwow, A-Antony. -ANTONY. So t-to most nyobwe C-Caesaw. -CAESAW. Bid them pwepawe within. -I am *moans* to bwame t-to *pokes you* be thus waited fow. -Nyow, *teleports behind you* Cinnya; nyow, Metewwus; what, Twebonyius, -I *blushes* have an houw's tawk in stowe fow xDD you; -Wemembew that you *looks away* caww on me today; -B-Be n-nyeaw me, t-that I m-may wemembew you. -T-TWEBONyIUS. Caesaw, I wiww. [Aside.] And so *blushes* nyeaw *hugs tightly* wiww I be -That youw b-best fwiends shaww w-wish I had been fuwthew. -:33 CAESAW. G-Good fwiends, go in and OwO taste some winye with m-me, -A-And we wike *sweats* fwiends wiww stwaightway go t-togethew. -BWUTUS. [Aside.] >w< That evewy wike is n-nyot the same, O-O Caesaw, -T-The heawt of Bwutus yeawns to *looks at you* think upon! Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE >_< III. -A-A stweet nyeaw t-the Capitow. - -Entew Awtemidowus, weading >w< papew. - -AWTEMIDOWUS. "Caesaw, bewawe of Bwutus; take heed o-of Cassius; come -nyot nyeaw *screams* Casca; *sweats* have x3 an eye to Cinnya; twust nyot T-Twebonyius; mawk -weww UwU Metewwus Cimbew; Decius Bwutus ^-^ woves thee *moans* nyot; thou hast -wwonged Caius Wigawius. Thewe is but onye mind in a-aww these men, -and it *sweats* is bent *sweats* against Caesaw. I-If thou beest nyot i-immowtaw, w-wook -about you. Secuwity *leans over* gives way to c-conspiwacy. The *sweats* mighty gods -defend thee! -Thy wovew, >_> Awtemidowus." -Hewe wiww I stand t-tiww Caesaw p-pass awong, -And as a *pokes you* suitow wiww I ;;w;; give him this. -My heawt *cries* waments that viwtue cannyot wive -UwU Out of the teeth of emuwation. -If thou wead this, *hugs tightly* O C-Caesaw, thou mayest >_> wive; -I-If nyot, the >w< Fates with twaitows do contwive. Exit. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Anyothew pawt of the same stweet, befowe the house of Bwutus. - -Entew >w< Powtia and *looks at you* Wucius. - -POWTIA. I pwithee, b-boy, wun to the S-Senyate House; -*looks away* Stay uWu nyot *leans over* to answew me, b-but get thee gonye. -Why dost thou s-stay? -WUCIUS. T-To k-knyow my ewwand, madam. -POWTIA. I wouwd have xDD had thee thewe, and hewe again, -Ewe I c-can *leans over* teww *screams* thee w-what t-thou shouwdst do thewe. -O >_< constancy, be ^.^ stwong upon my side! -Set a-a huge mountain 'tween my heawt and tongue! -I h-have a man's mind, but a *teleports behind you* woman's might. -How hawd it is fow *looks away* women to keep counsew! -Awt thou hewe yet? -WUCIUS. Madam, what shouwd I do? -Wun to t-the Capitow, and nyothing OwO ewse? -And so wetuwn to *notices bulge* you, and nyothing *cuddles you* ewse? -POWTIA. uWu Yes, bwing me wowd, boy, if *giggles shyly* thy wowd wook weww, -Fow he went sickwy fowth; x3 and take *twerks* good nyote -What Caesaw doth, x3 what suitows pwess to >_< him. -Hawk, b-boy, w-what nyoise x3 is *looks away* that? -WUCIUS. I heaw n-nyonye, madam. -*cries* POWTIA. Pwithee, wisten weww. -I heawd a bustwing wumow w-wike a f-fway, -And the wind bwings it *cuddles you* fwom the *hugs tightly* Capitow. -xDD WUCIUS. Sooth, madam, I h-heaw *teleports behind you* nyothing. - -:3 Entew the >w< Soothsayew. - -POWTIA. Come hithew, fewwow; -Which way h-hast thou been? -SOOTHSAYEW. A-At minye o-own house, good wady. -POWTIA. What is't o'cwock? -SOOTHSAYEW. >w< About the nyinth houw, wady. -POWTIA. I-Is Caesaw *twerks* yet gonye to the Capitow? -SOOTHSAYEW. Madam, *leans over* nyot *sweats* yet. I uWu go to take m-my stand -To see ^.^ him pass on to the Capitow. -POWTIA. Thou hast s-some *shuffles closer* suit *cuddles you* to Caesaw, hast thou nyot? -SOOTHSAYEW. That I have, *looks at you* wady. If it *twerks* wiww pwease Caesaw -T-To be s-so good to Caesaw as to heaw me, -I shaww beseech him :33 to befwiend h-himsewf. -POWTIA. Why, knyow'st t-thou any h-hawm's intended towawds h-him? -SOOTHSAYEW. Nyonye that I knyow wiww be, much *moans* that I feaw may *hugs tightly* chance. -Good mowwow to you. Hewe the ^-^ stweet is nyawwow, -T-The thwong that fowwows Caesaw at the heews, -Of senyatows, of pwaetows, common *pokes you* suitows, -Wiww cwowd a feebwe man a-awmost to death. -I'ww x3 get *moans* me *cuddles you* to a pwace mowe void *sweats* and thewe -Speak to gweat *sweats* Caesaw as he comes awong. Exit. -POWTIA. I must go in. Ay me, how w-weak a thing -The heawt of woman is! O Bwutus, -^.^ The h-heavens *sweats* speed thee in thinye entewpwise! -Suwe, t-the boy heawd >w< me. B-Bwutus hath a s-suit -That Caesaw wiww nyot gwant. O, I gwow xDD faint. -W-Wun, Wucius, *notices bulge* and c-commend xDD me to my *blushes* wowd; -S-Say I uWu am *shuffles closer* mewwy. C-Come *cries* to me again, -A-And bwing me wowd what he ^.^ doth say to thee. ->_< Exeunt sevewawwy. - - - - -<_> ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE C-COWWEGE -*moans* WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE W-WEADABWE COPIES MAY *twerks* BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG ^w^ AS SUCH *looks away* COPIES (-(1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT *looks at you* DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW D-DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -OwO ACT III. SCENyE I. -Wome. Befowe the C-Capitow; the Senyate sitting above. -A cwowd of peopwe, among them Awtemidowus and the Soothsayew. - -Fwouwish. Entew Caesaw, Bwutus, *notices bulge* Cassius, Casca, D-Decius, M-Metewwus, -Twebonyius, Cinnya, A-Antony, Wepidus, >_> Popiwius, Pubwius, and o-othews. - -CAESAW. The ides of Mawch awe come. -SOOTHSAYEW. Ay, C-Caesaw, b-but nyot gonye. -A xDD Haiw, Caesaw! Wead this scheduwe. -DECIUS. Twebonyius doth desiwe you to o'ew wead, -At youw b-best weisuwe, this his humbwe suit. -AWTEMIDOWUS. O UwU Caesaw, wead minye fiwst, fow minye's a suit -That touches C-Caesaw nyeawew. Wead it, g-gweat Caesaw. ->_> CAESAW. What t-touches u-us ouwsewf s-shaww *looks at you* be wast s-sewved. -AWTEMIDOWUS. Deway n-nyot, Caesaw; wead i-it instantwy. -OwO CAESAW. :3 What, UwU is the fewwow mad? -PUBWIUS. Siwwah, give pwace. -CASSIUS. What, ;;w;; uwge you youw petitions in x3 the stweet? -Come to the Capitow. - -Caesaw *giggles shyly* goes up to the Senyate *looks away* House, the west fowwow. - -P-POPIWIUS. I ^-^ wish youw e-entewpwise today may t-thwive. -C-CASSIUS. What entewpwise, Popiwius? -POPIWIUS. Fawe you weww. -^-^ Advances to Caesaw. -BWUTUS. What ^.^ said Popiwius Wenya? -CASSIUS. He *cuddles you* wish'd ^w^ today *shuffles closer* ouw entewpwise might UwU thwive. -I feaw ouw p-puwpose is discovewed. -B-BWUTUS. Wook, how he makes to Caesaw. Mawk him. -CASSIUS. Casca, -Be sudden, fow we feaw pwevention. -Bwutus, what shaww *shuffles closer* be donye? If this *sighs* be knyown, -Cassius ^w^ ow Caesaw *moans* nyevew shaww OwO tuwn back, -Fow *pokes you* I wiww sway xDD mysewf. -*twerks* BWUTUS. Cassius, *cuddles you* be xDD constant. -P-Popiwius *screams* Wenya speaks nyot of ouw puwposes; -F-Fow, w-wook, h-he smiwes, and Caesaw doth nyot c-change. -CASSIUS. Twebonyius knyows *shuffles closer* his time, fow, w-wook you, Bwutus, -He dwaws Mawk Antony o-out of the way. -Exeunt *looks away* Antony and Twebonyius. -DECIUS. Whewe is M-Metewwus Cimbew? Wet him -And pwesentwy *sweats* pwefew his suit to Caesaw. ->w< BWUTUS. H-He i-is addwess'd; pwess nyeaw and second h-him. -CINNyA. Casca, you uWu awe t-the fiwst *cries* that weaws youw hand. -C-CAESAW. Awe we aww weady? What is nyow *notices bulge* amiss -That Caesaw a-and his Senyate m-must wedwess? -METEWWUS. Most high, most mighty, and *hugs tightly* most puissant Caesaw, -M-Metewwus Cimbew thwows befowe thy seat -An humbwe h-heawt. Knyeews. -CAESAW. I must pwevent thee, Cimbew. -These couchings and these wowwy couwtesies -Might fiwe the bwood of *screams* owdinyawy m-men -A-And tuwn pweowdinyance and fiwst decwee -Into the waw of ;;w;; chiwdwen. *looks away* Be >w< nyot fond -T-To think that Caesaw beaws *leans over* such webew bwood -That wiww ^-^ be thaw'd fwom the twue quawity -^.^ With that which >_< mewteth f-foows- I *looks at you* mean sweet wowds, -xDD Wow-cwooked couwt'sies, and *twerks* base s-spanyiew-fawnying. -Thy bwothew by decwee is banyished. -If thou dost bend a-and pway and f-fawn fow him, -I spuwn thee wike a-a c-cuw out :33 of my way. -Knyow, Caesaw doth nyot wwong, nyow without cause -Wiww he be satisfied. -*twerks* METEWWUS. Is thewe nyo voice mowe w-wowthy than my *looks at you* own, -To sound mowe sweetwy i-in gweat Caesaw's eaw -Fow the wepeawing *cuddles you* of my b-banyish'd bwothew? -BWUTUS. I kiss thy h-hand, but n-nyot in fwattewy, C-Caesaw, -Desiwing thee that Pubwius Cimbew may -Have an immediate fweedom of wepeaw. -C-CAESAW. What, Bwutus? -C-CASSIUS. Pawdon, ^.^ Caesaw! Caesaw, pawdon! -A-As w-wow as t-to thy f-foot doth Cassius faww -To beg e-enfwanchisement fow Pubwius Cimbew. -CAESAW. I ^.^ couwd b-be weww moved, if I wewe as you; -If I-I couwd p-pway to move, *giggles shyly* pwayews >w< wouwd *cuddles you* move me; -*cries* But I am constant *cuddles you* as t-the nyowthewn staw, -Of whose ^-^ twue-fix'd a-and westing ^w^ quawity -Thewe is *looks at you* nyo fewwow in the fiwmament. -The skies awe painted with u-unnyumbew'd spawks; -They awe *sighs* aww fiwe >_< and e-evewy onye doth *twerks* shinye; -But thewe's but uWu onye *giggles shyly* in aww doth h-howd his pwace. -So in the w-wowwd, '-'tis fuwnyish'd w-weww w-with men, -And men awe fwesh and bwood, and *looks at you* appwehensive; -Yet in the nyumbew I-I do knyow but onye -That unyassaiwabwe howds on ^.^ his wank, -Unshaked of m-motion; and ^w^ that I-I *notices bulge* am he, -Wet me OwO a wittwe s-show it, even in this; -That I was c-constant C-Cimbew shouwd be *cuddles you* banyish'd, -And constant do wemain to *looks at you* keep him so. -C-CINNyA. O Caesaw- -CAESAW. Hence! Wiwt thou wift up Owympus? -DECIUS. Gweat Caesaw- -CAESAW. Doth n-nyot *leans over* Bwutus bootwess knyeew? -CASCA. Speak, hands, fow me! -C-Casca fiwst, then the othew C-Conspiwatows -and Mawcus Bwutus stab Caesaw. -CAESAW. Et ;;w;; tu, Bwute?- T-Then faww, Caesaw! Dies. -*looks away* CINNyA. Wibewty! Fweedom! Tywanny is dead! -Wun hence, pwocwaim, cwy it about the stweets. -CASSIUS. Some to the c-common puwpits and cwy out -"Wibewty, fweedom, and enfwanchisement!" -BWUTUS. P-Peopwe and senyatows, be nyot affwighted, -Fwy *cries* nyot, *pokes you* stand stiww; ambition's d-debt is paid. -^.^ CASCA. Go to the puwpit, Bwutus. -DECIUS. And Cassius too. -BWUTUS. Whewe's Pubwius? -CINNyA. Hewe, >_> quite confounded with this mutiny. -M-METEWWUS. Stand fast uWu togethew, west s-some fwiend of C-Caesaw's -:33 Shouwd >_> chance- -BWUTUS. Tawk *looks at you* nyot o-of standing. Pubwius, good cheew, -T-Thewe i-is *hugs tightly* nyo hawm intended to youw >w< pewson, -Nyow to nyo Woman ewse. S-So teww >_> them, Pubwius. -C-CASSIUS. A-And weave us, Pubwius, *looks at you* west *moans* that t-the peopwe -Wushing on *looks away* us shouwd do >_< youw age some mischief. -B-BWUTUS. Do so, xDD and wet nyo man a-abide *moans* this deed -But *sweats* we the doews. - -We-entew T-Twebonyius. - -CASSIUS. Whewe is Antony? -TWEBONyIUS. Fwed to *leans over* his house *looks away* amazed. -M-Men, wives, and chiwdwen stawe, cwy out, and wun -As *screams* it wewe doomsday. -BWUTUS. Fates, we wiww knyow youw p-pweasuwes. -That w-we shaww die, we knyow; 'tis but the >_> time -And d-dwawing d-days o-out that :3 men uWu stand upon. -CASSIUS. Why, he *pokes you* that cuts off twenty yeaws of UwU wife -Cuts off so many y-yeaws o-of feawing death. -BWUTUS. Gwant that, *twerks* and then is d-death a benyefit; -So awe we Caesaw's *hugs tightly* fwiends that have *blushes* abwidged -H-His :3 time of feawing death. Stoop, Womans, stoop, -And wet us bathe ouw hands in Caesaw's bwood -*looks at you* Up to the ewbows, *looks at you* and besmeaw ouw swowds; -*leans over* Then wawk we *pokes you* fowth, even *moans* to the OwO mawketpwace, -And waving ouw *cries* wed weapons o'ew ouw heads, -Wet's aww cwy, "Peace, fweedom, a-and wibewty!" -;;w;; CASSIUS. Stoop then, ^-^ and wash. How many ages hence -Shaww *cries* this ouw wofty scenye be acted *looks away* ovew -In states >_< unbown and accents yet unknyown! -B-BWUTUS. ;;w;; How *twerks* many t-times s-shaww Caesaw bweed in spowt, -T-That nyow on P-Pompey's basis wies awong -Nyo wowthiew than the >_< dust! -C-CASSIUS. So oft as that shaww be, -So often ^.^ shaww the *giggles shyly* knyot of us be caww'd -T-The men that gave theiw c-countwy UwU wibewty. -DECIUS. What, shaww we f-fowth? -CASSIUS. Ay, evewy man away. -B-Bwutus shaww wead, and we *looks at you* wiww gwace his heews -With the most bowdest and b-best heawts of W-Wome. - -E-Entew a S-Sewvant. - -B-BWUTUS. Soft, who comes hewe? A fwiend o-of Antony's. -S-SEWVANT. ^w^ Thus, Bwutus, did my mastew bid me knyeew, -Thus UwU did Mawk Antony bid me faww down, -A-And, *screams* being p-pwostwate, *notices bulge* thus *notices bulge* he bade *hugs tightly* me say: -Bwutus is nyobwe, wise, vawiant, and honyest; -Caesaw was mighty, bowd, woyaw, *notices bulge* and woving. -Say I wove Bwutus and I honyow him; -Say I feaw'd Caesaw, honyow'd him, and woved him. -I-If Bwutus wiww vouchsafe *leans over* that Antony -May safewy come t-to h-him a-and be wesowved -How C-Caesaw hath desewved to wie in death, -Mawk Antony s-shaww nyot wove Caesaw dead -S-So weww as B-Bwutus wiving, but :3 wiww fowwow -The fowtunyes and *hugs tightly* affaiws of nyobwe Bwutus -Thowough the hazawds of this u-untwod state -With aww twue faith. S-So says my *blushes* mastew Antony. ->_> BWUTUS. Thy *shuffles closer* mastew is a xDD wise and vawiant W-Woman; -I nyevew thought him wowse. -*shuffles closer* Teww him, so pwease him *giggles shyly* come unto this pwace, -He *leans over* shaww be satisfied a-and, by my honyow, -x3 Depawt untouch'd. -SEWVANT. I'ww fetch him *sighs* pwesentwy. Exit. -BWUTUS. I knyow *notices bulge* that *blushes* we shaww ;;w;; have h-him weww xDD to fwiend. -CASSIUS. I wish w-we may, but yet have I-I a mind -That feaws h-him much, a-and my misgiving s-stiww -F-Fawws shwewdwy to the p-puwpose. - -We-entew Antony. - -BWUTUS. :33 But hewe comes Antony. Wewcome, Mawk Antony. -ANTONY. O m-mighty Caesaw! Dost thou wie so wow? -Awe aww thy c-conquests, gwowies, twiumphs, spoiws, -Shwunk to *notices bulge* this wittwe m-measuwe? F-Fawe t-thee weww. -I knyow nyot, gentwemen, *twerks* what you intend, -Who e-ewse *looks away* must be wet bwood, who ewse is wank. -If I mysewf, t-thewe is n-nyo *pokes you* houw ^w^ so fit -As *screams* Caesaw's *pokes you* death's houw, nyow nyo *moans* instwument -Of hawf that *hugs tightly* wowth as t-those youw swowds, made w-wich -With the most nyobwe bwood of aww this wowwd. -I do beseech ye, if you beaw UwU me hawd, -Nyow, whiwst youw puwpwed hands do *twerks* week and smoke, -Fuwfiww youw pweasuwe. Wive a thousand yeaws, -I-I shaww nyot f-find mysewf so apt to die; -Nyo pwace wiww pwease me so, nyo means of death, -As hewe by C-Caesaw, and xDD by you cut off, -The c-choice and mastew *hugs tightly* spiwits of t-this age. -BWUTUS. O Antony, UwU beg nyot youw death *notices bulge* of us! -Though nyow we must appeaw bwoody and cwuew, -As, by ouw hands and this ouw pwesent act -You see we do, yet see you but ouw hands -And this the *screams* bweeding businyess *hugs tightly* they have donye. -O-Ouw h-heawts you see n-nyot; they awe pitifuw; -And pity to the genyewaw ;;w;; wwong of Wome- -As fiwe >w< dwives out x3 fiwe, so pity pity- -Hath donye this deed on Caesaw. ^.^ Fow youw pawt, -To you ouw swowds have *giggles shyly* weaden points, *shuffles closer* Mawk >w< Antony; -Ouw awms i-in stwength of mawice, and ouw heawts -^-^ Of *shuffles closer* bwothews' tempew, d-do w-weceive you in -With aww kind >_> wove, good thoughts, a-and wevewence. -CASSIUS. Youw voice shaww b-be as stwong as a-any man's -In the disposing of nyew *blushes* dignyities. -BWUTUS. OwO Onwy ;;w;; be patient tiww we have appeased -The muwtitude, beside themsewves with feaw, -*pokes you* And *looks at you* then we w-wiww dewivew you the *shuffles closer* cause -Why I, that did wove Caesaw *notices bulge* when I stwuck him, -Have thus *cries* pwoceeded. -ANTONY. OwO I doubt nyot o-of y-youw wisdom. -Wet each man *moans* wendew me his :3 bwoody hand. -Fiwst, Mawcus Bwutus, wiww I shake with you; -Nyext, Caius Cassius, ^w^ do I take ^-^ youw hand; -Nyow, *notices bulge* Decius Bwutus, youws; nyow youws, M-Metewwus; -Y-Youws, Cinnya; and, m-my vawiant Casca, youws; -Though w-wast, nyot weast in wove, youws, good uWu Twebonyius. -Gentwemen UwU aww- awas, what shaww I say? -My cwedit nyow stands on >_> such s-swippewy gwound, -That xDD onye of two bad ways >w< you must conceit me, -Eithew a cowawd ow a-a :33 fwattewew. -That I did wove thee, Caesaw, O, 'tis twue! -^.^ If then thy spiwit wook upon us nyow, -S-Shaww it nyot gwieve *pokes you* thee *looks away* deawew than thy death -To see t-thy Antony m-making his peace, -x3 Shaking the bwoody fingews of t-thy foes, -Most n-nyobwe! I-In the p-pwesence of thy cowse? -Had I as *looks at you* many eyes as thou hast *twerks* wounds, -xDD Weeping as fast as they *cuddles you* stweam fowth thy bwood, -It wouwd become me bettew *teleports behind you* than to cwose -In tewms of x3 fwiendship with thinye *notices bulge* enyemies. -Pawdon me, Juwius! Hewe wast thou bay'd, bwave hawt, -Hewe didst thou f-faww, and >w< hewe thy h-huntews *teleports behind you* stand, -Sign'd in *shuffles closer* thy spoiw, and cwimson'd in thy Wethe. -O wowwd, thou wast the *notices bulge* fowest to *teleports behind you* this hawt, -A-And t-this, indeed, O wowwd, the heawt of thee. -How wike a-a deew stwucken by many pwinces -Dost thou hewe wie! -CASSIUS. Mawk Antony- -ANTONY. Pawdon m-me, Caius ^-^ Cassius. -The enyemies of Caesaw shaww say this: -Then, in a-a fwiend, i-it is cowd modesty. -CASSIUS. I-I bwame you :3 nyot fow p-pwaising ^-^ Caesaw so; -But what x3 compact m-mean you to h-have with us? -*teleports behind you* Wiww you b-be pwick'd in nyumbew of ouw f-fwiends, -O-Ow shaww we o-on, and nyot depend on you? -ANTONY. *sighs* Thewefowe *pokes you* I t-took youw hands, but was indeed -Sway'd fwom *teleports behind you* the *blushes* point by :33 wooking down on Caesaw. -Fwiends am I with *leans over* you aww and wove you aww, -Upon this hope *cuddles you* that you shaww *teleports behind you* give me weasons -Why :3 and OwO whewein Caesaw was dangewous. -BWUTUS. Ow ewse wewe this a s-savage spectacwe. -Ouw weasons *leans over* awe s-so fuww of g-good wegawd -That wewe you, Antony, the son of Caesaw, -You shouwd be satisfied. -ANTONY. That's *twerks* aww I seek; -A-And am moweovew suitow ^.^ that I may -Pwoduce *giggles shyly* his body to the mawketpwace, -*screams* And in the p-puwpit, as becomes a fwiend, -Speak in the owdew of his funyewaw. -BWUTUS. You shaww, Mawk ^w^ Antony. -CASSIUS. Bwutus, a-a wowd with y-you. -[Aside to Bwutus.] You knyow nyot what y-you do. *moans* Do nyot c-consent -That Antony speak in his funyewaw. -Knyow >_> you how much the p-peopwe may be m-moved -By that which he wiww uttew? ->w< BWUTUS. B-By youw pawdon, -I wiww mysewf i-into the *screams* puwpit fiwst, -And show the weason of ouw Caesaw's death. -What Antony shaww speak, I wiww pwotest -He speaks by weave *screams* and by p-pewmission, -And that w-we awe c-contented ;;w;; Caesaw shaww -xDD Have aww twue wites >_< and wawfuw cewemonyies. -It *pokes you* shaww advantage m-mowe t-than do us wwong. -CASSIUS. I knyow nyot what may faww; I wike it *shuffles closer* nyot. -BWUTUS. Mawk Antony, hewe, take you Caesaw's body. -You shaww nyot in youw funyewaw speech bwame us, -But speak aww g-good *shuffles closer* you *notices bulge* can *notices bulge* devise of Caesaw, -And say you do't by ouw p-pewmission, -*teleports behind you* Ewse shaww you nyot have any hand at *screams* aww -About his funyewaw. And you shaww speak -In the same p-puwpit wheweto I am going, -Aftew my speech is *twerks* ended. -ANTONY. Be it s-so, -*cuddles you* I do desiwe nyo *cuddles you* mowe. -BWUTUS. Pwepawe the body then, UwU and fowwow us. -Exeunt aww but Antony. -ANTONY. O, pawdon me, x3 thou bweeding p-piece o-of eawth, -That I am m-meek and gentwe w-with these butchews! -Thou awt UwU the wuins of the nyobwest man -That evew wived i-in the tide o-of times. -;;w;; Woe t-to the hand that shed this costwy bwood! -Ovew thy wounds *sighs* nyow do I pwophesy -(Which wike dumb mouths do ope theiw wuby wips -To beg t-the *screams* voice a-and uttewance of *looks at you* my tongue) -A-A cuwse s-shaww wight upon the wimbs of men; -Domestic fuwy and *hugs tightly* fiewce civiw s-stwife -Shaww cumbew aww *twerks* the x3 pawts of Itawy; -Bwood a-and d-destwuction shaww be so in use, -A-And dweadfuw objects so famiwiaw, -That mothews shaww but smiwe when they behowd -Theiw infants *sweats* quawtew'd with the hands of waw; -:33 Aww pity choked with custom of >_< feww deeds, -And Caesaw's spiwit wanging fow *screams* wevenge, -W-With Ate by his side c-come hot fwom heww, -Shaww in these confinyes with a monyawch's voice -Cwy "-"Havoc!" *notices bulge* and wet swip the dogs of >w< waw, -That *looks away* this fouw deed shaww smeww above the e-eawth -With cawwion men, gwoanying f-fow buwiaw. - -Entew a-a Sewvant. - -^w^ You sewve Octavius Caesaw, do you nyot? -SEWVANT. I do, Mawk ;;w;; Antony. -ANTONY. Caesaw did *notices bulge* wwite fow him to come *teleports behind you* to Wome. -SEWVANT. H-He did weceive his wettews, and is coming, -And bid me say t-to you by w-wowd of mouth- -O Caesaw! Sees the ;;w;; body. -ANTONY. Thy heawt i-is big; get t-thee apawt and w-weep. -Passion, I *notices bulge* see, is x3 catching, fow minye eyes, -Seeing t-those beads of sowwow stand in thinye, -Began :33 to watew. ^-^ Is uWu thy mastew coming? -*hugs tightly* SEWVANT. He wies *moans* tonyight within seven weagues of W-Wome. -*screams* ANTONY. Post b-back with speed and teww him >_< what hath chanced. -*cuddles you* Hewe is a m-mouwnying Wome, a dangewous Wome, -Nyo Wome of s-safety fow >_< Octavius y-yet; -Hie OwO hence, and teww him so. Yet stay awhiwe, -T-Thou shawt nyot back t-tiww I have *moans* bownye this *moans* cowse -*looks away* Into the mawketpwace. Thewe shaww I-I twy, -In my owation, how the peopwe take -The c-cwuew issue of these bwoody men, -*teleports behind you* Accowding to the which thou shawt discouwse -To young Octavius o-of the state of things. -Wend me y-youw hand. *sweats* Exeunt with Caesaw's body. - - - - -OwO SCENyE II. -The :33 Fowum. - -E-Entew Bwutus a-and *screams* Cassius, and *giggles shyly* a thwong of Citizens. - -C-CITIZENS. We wiww *leans over* be satisfied! Wet us be satisfied! -BWUTUS. Then fowwow me and ^-^ give me audience, *hugs tightly* fwiends. -Cassius, go you into the othew stweet -And pawt *teleports behind you* the n-nyumbews. -Those *looks at you* that wiww heaw me speak, wet 'em stay hewe; -Those that wiww fowwow Cassius, g-go with him; -And pubwic weasons shaww be *blushes* wendewed -Of Caesaw's death. -FIWST *notices bulge* CITIZEN. I *shuffles closer* wiww heaw Bwutus speak. -SECOND CITIZEN. *teleports behind you* I wiww heaw Cassius and compawe t-theiw *teleports behind you* weasons, -When sevewawwy *cries* we heaw *moans* them wendewed. -Exit Cassius, with some Citizens. -x3 Bwutus goes into >_< the puwpit. -THIWD CITIZEN. The n-nyobwe B-Bwutus is ascended. Siwence! -BWUTUS. Be patient *looks away* tiww the *blushes* wast. -Womans, countwymen, and wovews! H-Heaw me *shuffles closer* fow my cause, and be -siwent, that *blushes* you may heaw. *pokes you* Bewieve me f-fow m-minye honyow, *notices bulge* and have -wespect *giggles shyly* to minye ^-^ honyow, t-that you may bewieve. Censuwe me in youw -wisdom, and awake youw s-senses, ^.^ that you may the b-bettew judge. If -thewe be any in this assembwy, any deaw fwiend of Caesaw's, to -him I say that B-Bwutus' wove to Caesaw OwO was nyo w-wess than his. If -then t-that fwiend demand why Bwutus wose against Caesaw, this *moans* is -my answew: Nyot that I woved Caesaw wess, but that I-I woved Wome -*sighs* mowe. Had :3 you wathew Caesaw wewe wiving and die aww swaves, t-than -that C-Caesaw wewe dead to wive aww f-fweemen? As *blushes* Caesaw woved me, I -weep fow him; as he was f-fowtunyate, I wejoice at it; as *looks away* he was -v-vawiant, I honyow *notices bulge* him; *moans* but as he was ambitious, >_< I s-swew *notices bulge* him. Thewe -i-is teaws fow his wove, joy fow his fowtunye, honyow fow his vawow, -and death fow his a-ambition. Who i-is hewe so base that *cries* wouwd be a -bondman? If any, speak, fow h-him have I-I offended. Who is hewe so -wude that wouwd nyot b-be a-a Woman? If any, speak, ^.^ fow him have I -offended. W-Who >_> is hewe s-so v-viwe that w-wiww *moans* nyot wove >w< his c-countwy? >w< If -any, s-speak, fow h-him have I offended. I pause fow a-a wepwy. -AWW. Nyonye, *screams* Bwutus, nyonye. -*moans* BWUTUS. Then nyonye *screams* have I offended. I h-have d-donye nyo m-mowe to C-Caesaw -than *moans* you shaww do OwO to *leans over* Bwutus. The question of his death is -enwowwed in the Capitow, his gwowy nyot extenyuated, w-whewein he was -*leans over* wowthy, nyow *leans over* his offenses enfowced, ^.^ fow w-which he suffewed death. - -Entew Antony and >_< othews, with Caesaw's body. - -Hewe ^w^ comes h-his body, mouwnyed by Mawk Antony, who, though he had -nyo hand i-in his death, shaww weceive the benyefit of his dying, a -p-pwace in the commonweawth, as which of you shaww nyot? W-With this I -*looks at you* depawt- that, as I swew my best wovew OwO fow the good of W-Wome, I -*sighs* have the same d-daggew fow mysewf, when it shaww p-pwease my countwy -*looks at you* to nyeed my death. -AWW. Wive, B-Bwutus, w-wive, wive! -FIWST >_> CITIZEN. Bwing him with t-twiumph home xDD unto his house. -SECOND *notices bulge* CITIZEN. *hugs tightly* Give him a statue with his ancestows. -THIWD *giggles shyly* CITIZEN. Wet him be Caesaw. -FOUWTH CITIZEN. C-Caesaw's bettew pawts -Shaww be UwU cwown'd in Bwutus. -FIWST CITIZEN. We'ww bwing him to his house w-with shouts *screams* and -cwamows. -BWUTUS. My countwymen- -SECOND C-CITIZEN. Peace! Siwence! Bwutus speaks. -FIWST *leans over* CITIZEN. Peace, ho! -BWUTUS. G-Good *twerks* countwymen, wet *sighs* me *notices bulge* depawt awonye, -And, fow my sake, stay hewe with Antony. -Do *twerks* gwace to Caesaw's cowse, and g-gwace his *screams* speech -Tending to *cuddles you* Caesaw's gwowies, which Mawk Antony, -By ouw pewmission, is awwow'd to make. ->w< I UwU do entweat ;;w;; you, nyot a ^w^ man depawt, -Save OwO I a-awonye, tiww Antony have spoke. Exit. -FIWST CITIZEN. Stay, h-ho, and wet us heaw Mawk A-Antony. -THIWD CITIZEN. Wet h-him go up into the pubwic chaiw; -*cuddles you* We'ww heaw him. Nyobwe A-Antony, go up. -x3 ANTONY. :33 Fow Bwutus' s-sake, I *looks at you* am :33 behowding to you. -Goes into the puwpit. -FOUWTH CITIZEN. What does he say o-of Bwutus? -T-THIWD CITIZEN. He says, fow ^.^ Bwutus' sake, -*looks at you* He finds h-himsewf behowding t-to us aww. -FOUWTH CITIZEN. 'Twewe b-best he speak *looks at you* nyo hawm of Bwutus hewe. -*pokes you* FIWST CITIZEN. *twerks* This Caesaw was a tywant. -THIWD CITIZEN. N-Nyay, that's cewtain. -W-We awe *blushes* bwest that Wome is *pokes you* wid of him. -SECOND *moans* CITIZEN. P-Peace! *leans over* Wet us heaw what Antony can >_> say. -ANTONY. You *looks at you* gentwe Womans- -AWW. Peace, ho! W-Wet us h-heaw *hugs tightly* him. -ANTONY. Fwiends, Womans, *cries* countwymen, wend me youw eaws! -I c-come to b-buwy Caesaw, nyot t-to pwaise him. -The eviw *blushes* that men do wives a-aftew *looks at you* them, -T-The good is oft intewwed with theiw bonyes; -So wet it be w-with *hugs tightly* Caesaw. The nyobwe Bwutus -Hath towd you OwO Caesaw was ambitious; -If it *sweats* wewe so, *sighs* it was a gwievous *leans over* fauwt, -And gwievouswy hath Caesaw answew'd :3 it. -Hewe, *shuffles closer* undew weave of Bwutus a-and t-the west- -Fow Bwutus is a-an h-honyowabwe man; -So a-awe uWu they aww, aww honyowabwe men- -Come I to speak in Caesaw's funyewaw. -He *twerks* was *blushes* my f-fwiend, faithfuw a-and just t-to me; -But Bwutus says he was ambitious, -And Bwutus is an honyowabwe man. -^-^ He h-hath bwought many captives home *leans over* to Wome, -Whose wansoms did *blushes* the genyewaw coffews fiww. -D-Did this in Caesaw seem ambitious? -When that the p-poow have ^.^ cwied, Caesaw h-hath wept; -Ambition shouwd b-be >_> made of x3 stewnyew stuff: -Yet Bwutus says he *hugs tightly* was ambitious, -*teleports behind you* And Bwutus ^.^ is an honyowabwe ;;w;; man. -You aww did see ;;w;; that *teleports behind you* on t-the Wupewcaw -I thwice pwesented him UwU a kingwy cwown, -Which he did t-thwice wefuse. W-Was t-this ambition? -Yet :3 Bwutus s-says he was ambitious, -And suwe he is >_< an honyowabwe *blushes* man. -I *twerks* speak *pokes you* nyot to dispwove x3 what >_> Bwutus spoke, -But h-hewe I am to speak what I do knyow. -You aww d-did wove him once, n-nyot without cause; -What cause withhowds you then to m-mouwn fow him? -O judgement, thou awt f-fwed to bwutish beasts, -And men have *hugs tightly* wost theiw weason. >_< Beaw with me; -My heawt is i-in the c-coffin thewe with Caesaw, -And I :3 must p-pause tiww it come back to me. -FIWST CITIZEN. ;;w;; Methinks thewe i-is much ^-^ weason in his sayings. -SECOND CITIZEN. If thou considew wightwy of the mattew, -x3 Caesaw has had gweat wwong. -THIWD C-CITIZEN. :3 Has he, mastews? -I *leans over* feaw thewe wiww a wowse come in *shuffles closer* his pwace. -FOUWTH *cuddles you* CITIZEN. Mawk'd y-ye OwO his :3 wowds? ^-^ He wouwd nyot take the cwown; -T-Thewefowe 'tis c-cewtain h-he was nyot a-ambitious. -FIWST CITIZEN. If it be found so, some wiww deaw a-abide it. -SECOND CITIZEN. Poow souw, his eyes awe wed as fiwe w-with weeping. -T-THIWD CITIZEN. Thewe's nyot a nyobwew man in W-Wome *screams* than Antony. -FOUWTH C-CITIZEN. Nyow mawk h-him, h-he begins again to speak. -ANTONY. ^-^ But yestewday t-the w-wowd of Caesaw might -Have stood against the w-wowwd. Nyow w-wies he thewe, -And nyonye so poow to do him wevewence. -O m-mastews! ^.^ If I-I wewe disposed to stiw -^-^ Youw heawts and ;;w;; minds to m-mutiny and wage, -I shouwd do Bwutus wwong and Cassius wwong, -*leans over* Who, *notices bulge* you aww knyow, awe honyowabwe men. -I wiww nyot do them w-wwong; I wathew choose -To wwong the dead, to wwong mysewf and you, -*moans* Than I wiww *looks at you* wwong such h-honyowabwe men. -But hewe's a OwO pawchment with the seaw of Caesaw; -I found it *hugs tightly* in his cwoset, 'tis his wiww. -Wet *cuddles you* but the commons heaw this t-testament- -*moans* Which, pawdon me, I do uWu nyot mean *screams* to wead- -And they wouwd go a-and kiss *hugs tightly* dead Caesaw's wounds -And dip theiw nyapkins in his sacwed bwood, -Yea, beg a haiw of him f-fow memowy, -And, d-dying, mention it within theiw w-wiwws, -*screams* Bequeathing it as a w-wich wegacy -Unto theiw issue. -F-FOUWTH CITIZEN. W-We'ww heaw the wiww. Wead it, Mawk Antony. -AWW. The wiww, >_< the wiww! *giggles shyly* We wiww heaw *hugs tightly* Caesaw's wiww. -ANTONY. Have patience, g-gentwe fwiends, I must nyot uWu wead it; -It ;;w;; is nyot meet you knyow how Caesaw woved you. -You awe nyot wood, you awe nyot stonyes, but m-men; -And, being men, heawing the wiww *looks away* of Caesaw, -xDD It wiww infwame uWu you, it wiww make you mad. -'Tis good you knyow nyot that you >_< awe ^.^ his heiws, -Fow if you shouwd, O, what wouwd *looks at you* come of *looks away* it! -FOUWTH CITIZEN. Wead the wiww; we'ww *twerks* heaw ^.^ it, Antony. -Y-You shaww w-wead u-us the wiww, Caesaw's wiww. -A-ANTONY. Wiww you be patient? Wiww you stay awhiwe? -I have *teleports behind you* o'ewshot mysewf to teww you of i-it. -I feaw I wwong the *leans over* honyowabwe m-men -Whose daggews have stabb'd Caesaw; I do feaw it. -F-FOUWTH *shuffles closer* CITIZEN. T-They wewe twaitows. Honyowabwe men! -A-AWW. The wiww! The testament! -SECOND *screams* CITIZEN. They wewe viwwains, *hugs tightly* muwthewews. The wiww! -Wead *screams* the wiww! -ANTONY. You wiww compew me then to ^-^ wead the >_> wiww? -Then make a wing about t-the ^w^ cowse of Caesaw, -And wet me show you him that m-made the wiww. -Shaww I-I descend? And wiww you give me weave? -AWW. C-Come down. -S-SECOND CITIZEN. Descend. -He comes down :3 fwom the *leans over* puwpit. -THIWD CITIZEN. You UwU shaww have weave. -FOUWTH CITIZEN. A-A *twerks* wing, stand wound. -FIWST CITIZEN. S-Stand fwom t-the h-heawse, stand f-fwom t-the body. -SECOND CITIZEN. Woom fow Antony, most nyobwe Antony. -*screams* ANTONY. N-Nyay, pwess nyot so upon me, *shuffles closer* stand faw off. -AWW. Stand back; woom, beaw back! -ANTONY. If you *pokes you* have teaws, pwepawe to shed them nyow. -You aww do knyow this mantwe. I w-wemembew -The fiwst *moans* time evew C-Caesaw put it on; -*sweats* 'Twas on a summew's evenying, in his tent, -That day >_> he ovewcame the Nyewvii. -Wook, *blushes* in this pwace wan Cassius' daggew thwough; -S-See what a w-went t-the envious Casca >_< made; -Thwough this the weww-bewoved Bwutus stabb'd; -A-And as he p-pwuck'd h-his cuwsed *blushes* steew away, -Mawk how the *looks away* bwood of Caesaw f-fowwow'd it, -As wushing out of doows, to be wesowved -If Bwutus so *teleports behind you* unkindwy knyock'd, o-ow nyo; ->w< Fow Bwutus, as you knyow, *leans over* was Caesaw's *cuddles you* angew. -Judge, O you UwU gods, how deawwy Caesaw woved him! -This w-was the most unkindest cut of a-aww; -*pokes you* Fow when the nyobwe Caesaw saw him stab, -*twerks* Ingwatitude, mowe stwong than t-twaitows' a-awms, -Quite vanquish'd him. Then buwst his mighty heawt, -And, in h-his mantwe muffwing up his face, -Even at the *moans* base x3 of Pompey's statue, -Which aww the whiwe wan bwood, gweat C-Caesaw feww. -*pokes you* O, what a faww was thewe, my countwymen! -Then I, and you, and aww o-of us feww x3 down, -Whiwst bwoody tweason f-fwouwish'd ovew us. -O-O, nyow you weep, and I pewceive you feew -UwU The dint of pity. T-These awe gwacious dwops. -Kind souws, what weep you when you but behowd -Ouw C-Caesaw's v-vestuwe *notices bulge* wounded? W-Wook you uWu hewe, -Hewe is himsewf, maww'd, as you see, with twaitows. -F-FIWST CITIZEN. O *notices bulge* piteous spectacwe! -*blushes* SECOND CITIZEN. O nyobwe Caesaw! -THIWD CITIZEN. O woefuw day! -FOUWTH ^w^ CITIZEN. O twaitows viwwains! -FIWST CITIZEN. *looks away* O most *blushes* bwoody sight! -SECOND C-CITIZEN. We wiww >w< be wevenged. -^.^ AWW. Wevenge! About! S-Seek! Buwn! F-Fiwe! Kiww! -Sway! W-Wet nyot a twaitow wive! -ANTONY. Stay, c-countwymen. -FIWST CITIZEN. P-Peace thewe! Heaw the n-nyobwe Antony. -SECOND CITIZEN. *cries* We'ww heaw h-him, we'ww fowwow him, *sighs* we'ww die with -him. -*giggles shyly* ANTONY. Good f-fwiends, sweet fwiends, wet me >w< nyot stiw you up -To such a sudden fwood of mutiny. -They ^.^ that have donye this d-deed awe honyowabwe. -What pwivate gwiefs they have, awas, I knyow nyot, -That made ^.^ them ;;w;; do i-it. They awe *looks at you* wise and honyowabwe, -And wiww, nyo doubt, with w-weasons answew you. -I come nyot, fwiends, t-to steaw away youw heawts. -I am *screams* nyo owatow, as Bwutus is; -B-But, as ^w^ you knyow me aww, a p-pwain bwunt man, -That wove my fwiend, *blushes* and that they ^-^ knyow fuww >w< weww -*twerks* That gave me >_< pubwic weave to speak of him. -F-Fow I xDD have x3 nyeithew wit, nyow wowds, nyow wowth, -A-Action, nyow u-uttewance, nyow >w< the powew of *screams* speech, -To s-stiw men's *pokes you* bwood. I o-onwy speak OwO wight o-on; -I-I *cuddles you* teww you that which *sighs* you youwsewves do knyow; -Show you sweet C-Caesaw's wounds, poow dumb mouths, -And bid them speak fow me. B-But wewe I >_< Bwutus, -And Bwutus Antony, t-thewe wewe an Antony -;;w;; Wouwd wuffwe up youw spiwits and put a tongue -I-In evewy wound of Caesaw ;;w;; that s-shouwd move -*cries* The stonyes of W-Wome to w-wise and mutiny. -AWW. We'ww m-mutiny. -F-FIWST CITIZEN. We'ww buwn the h-house of Bwutus. -THIWD CITIZEN. Away, then! *sighs* Come, seek the c-conspiwatows. -ANTONY. Yet heaw me, countwymen; y-yet heaw *leans over* me s-speak. -AWW. Peace, *pokes you* ho! Heaw Antony, m-most nyobwe Antony! -*leans over* ANTONY. Why, fwiends, you go to do you knyow nyot what. -W-Whewein hath Caesaw thus desewved youw woves? -Awas, y-you knyow *blushes* nyot; I must teww you then. -You ;;w;; have fowgot the wiww I towd y-you o-of. -AWW. *sweats* Most twue, the ^.^ wiww! Wet's *blushes* stay and *cuddles you* heaw t-the wiww. -ANTONY. Hewe is the wiww, and undew Caesaw's seaw. -To evewy Woman citizen he *leans over* gives, -T-To ^-^ evewy sevewaw m-man, seventy-five dwachmas. -SECOND *cries* CITIZEN. Most nyobwe Caesaw! W-We'ww wevenge h-his *blushes* death. -THIWD C-CITIZEN. O woyaw Caesaw! -ANTONY. Heaw me w-with p-patience. -A-AWW. ;;w;; Peace, *sighs* ho! -ANTONY. Moweovew, *giggles shyly* he hath weft you aww his wawks, -His *sweats* pwivate awbows, and nyew-pwanted owchawds, -On this side Tibew; he *cuddles you* hath weft them y-you, -And *pokes you* to youw heiws fowevew- common UwU pweasuwes, -To wawk abwoad and wecweate youwsewves. -Hewe was a Caesaw! When comes such anyothew? -FIWST CITIZEN. N-Nyevew, n-nyevew. Come, away, a-away! -We'ww *pokes you* buwn his body in the ^-^ howy OwO pwace -A-And with the bwands fiwe xDD the twaitows' houses. -Take u-up the body. -SECOND CITIZEN. Go fetch fiwe. -^.^ THIWD CITIZEN. Pwuck down benches. -FOUWTH C-CITIZEN. Pwuck down ;;w;; fowms, windows, a-anything. -Exeunt Citizens with the ;;w;; body. -A-ANTONY. Nyow wet it wowk. Mischief, thou awt afoot, -Take thou what couwse thou wiwt. - -Entew a Sewvant. - -How nyow, fewwow? -SEWVANT. Siw, Octavius is awweady come to Wome. -ANTONY. Whewe ;;w;; is he? -SEWVANT. He and Wepidus awe at Caesaw's house. -ANTONY. And *hugs tightly* thithew wiww uWu I stwaight to visit him. -He comes u-upon a wish. F-Fowtunye is mewwy, -And in this mood wiww give *cuddles you* us anything. -SEWVANT. I-I h-heawd him say Bwutus and Cassius -A-Awe wid wike madmen thwough the gates of Wome. -A-ANTONY. Be wike they had some nyotice :3 of the peopwe, -H-How I had moved t-them. Bwing me to Octavius. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE I-III. -A stweet. - -OwO Entew Cinnya the poet. - -CINNyA. I *leans over* dweamt tonyight that I did ^.^ feast with *shuffles closer* Caesaw, -A-And *shuffles closer* things uWu unwuckiwy chawge m-my fantasy. -I have nyo wiww to wandew fowth of doows, -Yet something weads me fowth. - -Entew :33 Citizens. - -FIWST CITIZEN. What is youw nyame? -S-SECOND ^.^ CITIZEN. W-Whithew awe OwO you going? -THIWD CITIZEN. Whewe do you dweww? -F-FOUWTH CITIZEN. A-Awe you a mawwied man ow a >w< bachewow? -SECOND CITIZEN. Answew evewy *looks away* man diwectwy. -FIWST CITIZEN. Ay, a-and b-bwiefwy. -F-FOUWTH CITIZEN. Ay, ^w^ and wisewy. -THIWD CITIZEN. :33 Ay, a-and twuwy, you wewe b-best. -CINNyA. What is my *teleports behind you* nyame? Whithew am I going? *pokes you* Whewe do *cries* I *giggles shyly* dweww? Am I -a mawwied man ow a bachewow? Then, to answew evewy man diwectwy -and bwiefwy, wisewy and twuwy: wisewy I say, I am a bachewow. -SECOND CITIZEN. That's as m-much as t-to say *hugs tightly* they awe foows that mawwy. -Y-You'ww b-beaw me a *leans over* bang fow >_< that, I feaw. Pwoceed diwectwy. -CINNyA. Diwectwy, I am g-going t-to Caesaw's funyewaw. -FIWST CITIZEN. A-As a OwO fwiend o-ow an enyemy? -CINNyA. A-As a fwiend. -SECOND CITIZEN. That mattew is answewed diwectwy. -*notices bulge* FOUWTH CITIZEN. Fow youw dwewwing, *sweats* bwiefwy. -CINNyA. Bwiefwy, I dweww xDD by the Capitow. -THIWD CITIZEN. Youw uWu nyame, s-siw, twuwy. -CINNyA. *moans* Twuwy, my nyame i-is ^.^ Cinnya. -FIWST CITIZEN. xDD Teaw him to pieces, he's a conspiwatow. -CINNyA. I am Cinnya t-the poet, I am C-Cinnya the poet. -F-FOUWTH CITIZEN. Teaw him fow his bad v-vewses, teaw h-him fow *blushes* his b-bad -vewses. -CINNyA. I am xDD nyot Cinnya the conspiwatow. -F-FOUWTH >_> CITIZEN. It is nyo mattew, h-his nyame's Cinnya. Pwuck but his -nyame out of his *looks at you* heawt, *shuffles closer* and tuwn him ;;w;; going. -T-THIWD CITIZEN. Teaw *sweats* him, t-teaw him! Come, bwands, ho, f-fiwebwands. >_< To -Bwutus', to Cassius'; buwn aww. Some to Decius' house, and s-some -to Casca's, s-some *cries* to Wigawius'. Away, g-go! Exeunt. - - - - -<_> ONWY, AND (2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -*giggles shyly* SEWVICE *hugs tightly* THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE *notices bulge* I. -A house in Wome. A-Antony, O-Octavius, and Wepidus, seated at *screams* a :33 tabwe. - -ANTONY. These many t-then shaww die, theiw nyames awe pwick'd. -OCTAVIUS. Youw bwothew too must die; consent you, W-Wepidus? -WEPIDUS. I >w< do *looks away* consent- -OCTAVIUS. Pwick him d-down, Antony. -WEPIDUS. xDD Upon condition Pubwius shaww nyot wive, -W-Who is youw ^-^ sistew's *pokes you* son, Mawk Antony. -ANTONY. He shaww *twerks* nyot wive; wook, ^.^ with a spot I :3 damn him. -B-But, Wepidus, go you to Caesaw's house, -Fetch the w-wiww *shuffles closer* hithew, *sighs* and we shaww detewminye -How to cut off s-some c-chawge ^.^ in *giggles shyly* wegacies. -WEPIDUS. What, *sweats* shaww *sighs* I find you hewe? -*pokes you* OCTAVIUS. Ow hewe, o-ow at the C-Capitow. E-Exit Wepidus. -ANTONY. *twerks* This is a swight unmewitabwe man, -Meet to >w< be *looks away* sent on *pokes you* ewwands. Is it fit, -The thwee-fowd wowwd divided, he shouwd stand -Onye o-of *notices bulge* the t-thwee *cries* to *giggles shyly* shawe it? -OCTAVIUS. So you thought him, -And took his v-voice who shouwd b-be pwick'd ;;w;; to die -In ouw bwack sentence and *twerks* pwoscwiption. -ANTONY. ;;w;; Octavius, I-I have seen mowe days than you, -*cries* And though we way these honyows on :33 this man -To ease ouwsewves of divews swandewous woads, -He s-shaww but beaw them as the ass beaws g-gowd, -To g-gwoan and *looks at you* sweat undew *cuddles you* the businyess, -E-Eithew wed ow dwiven, as we point the way; -A-And having bwought *shuffles closer* ouw tweasuwe *cries* whewe we *looks at you* wiww, -T-Then take ^w^ we down his woad and tuwn him o-off, -Wike to the empty *sighs* ass, to shake his eaws -*shuffles closer* And gwaze in commons. -OCTAVIUS. You may do :3 youw >w< wiww, -But he's a twied and *cries* vawiant sowdiew. -ANTONY. So is my uWu howse, Octavius, and fow that -I *teleports behind you* do appoint him stowe o-of pwovendew. -It is *twerks* a cweatuwe that I teach to fight, -To wind, to stop, to wun diwectwy on, -UwU His cowpowaw *blushes* motion govewn'd b-by >_< my >w< spiwit. -And, *cries* in *cries* some taste, is *teleports behind you* Wepidus but s-so: -He must be taught, and twain'd, and bid go fowth; -A bawwen-spiwited fewwow, onye t-that feeds -On objects, awts, and *screams* imitations, -Which, out of use and stawed by othew men, -*teleports behind you* Begin OwO his *teleports behind you* fashion. Do nyot tawk of him -But as a pwopewty. And nyow, Octavius, -W-Wisten *giggles shyly* gweat things. B-Bwutus and Cassius -*notices bulge* Awe wevying x3 powews; we must stwaight make head; -Thewefowe wet ouw awwiance be combinyed, -Ouw best fwiends made, *leans over* ouw means stwetch'd; -A-And w-wet us pwesentwy go sit in c-counciw, -How c-covewt mattews may *blushes* be best discwosed, -And open pewiws suwest answewed. -OCTAVIUS. Wet us do so, fow :33 we awe at the s-stake, -And bay'd about with many >_< enyemies; -And some that *sighs* smiwe have i-in theiw h-heawts, I feaw, -Miwwions of mischiefs. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -Camp nyeaw S-Sawdis. *blushes* Befowe B-Bwutus' t-tent. Dwum. - -Entew Bwutus, W-Wuciwius, Wucius, a-and Sowdiews; Titinyius and Pindawus meet them. - -B-BWUTUS. Stand, ho! -WUCIWIUS. Give *pokes you* the *sweats* wowd, OwO ho, and stand. -BWUTUS. W-What nyow, *screams* Wuciwius, is Cassius nyeaw? -WUCIWIUS. He is at h-hand, and Pindawus is come -To d-do you sawutation fwom his mastew. -BWUTUS. He gweets m-me weww. Youw mastew, Pindawus, -In his own change, ow by *moans* iww officews, -Hath given me some wowthy cause to wish -Things ^w^ donye undonye; but if he be *sweats* at h-hand, -I shaww be satisfied. -PINDAWUS. *looks at you* I do nyot d-doubt -But that *cuddles you* my nyobwe m-mastew wiww a-appeaw -Such as he is, fuww of *leans over* wegawd a-and honyow. -B-BWUTUS. He *looks away* is nyot doubted. A wowd, Wuciwius, ->w< How h-he weceived you. Wet me be wesowved. -WUCIWIUS. With c-couwtesy and with wespect enyough, -But nyot with such famiwiaw instances, -Nyow with s-such fwee and *cuddles you* fwiendwy confewence, -As he hath used of owd. -BWUTUS. Thou hast descwibed -A hot fwiend c-coowing. Evew n-nyote, *sighs* Wuciwius, -When wove begins to xDD sicken and decay -It useth an e-enfowced cewemony. -OwO Thewe awe nyo twicks in *leans over* pwain and s-simpwe faith; -But howwow *twerks* men, wike h-howses hot a-at hand, -Make *twerks* gawwant s-show and pwomise of theiw mettwe; -*pokes you* But w-when they shouwd enduwe *notices bulge* the b-bwoody spuw, -They faww theiw cwests and *notices bulge* wike d-deceitfuw jades ->_< Sink in the twiaw. Comes his awmy on? -WUCIWIUS. They meant *hugs tightly* his *looks at you* nyight in Sawd is t-to be quawtew'd; -The gweatew pawt, the howse in x3 genyewaw, ->_> Awe come with Cassius. Wow mawch within. -BWUTUS. Hawk, he is a-awwived. -Mawch gentwy on *looks at you* to meet him. - -Entew C-Cassius *notices bulge* and h-his Powews. - -CASSIUS. Stand, ho! -BWUTUS. Stand, ho! Speak the w-wowd ;;w;; awong. -*cuddles you* FIWST SOWDIEW. Stand! -S-SECOND SOWDIEW. Stand! -THIWD *shuffles closer* SOWDIEW. Stand! -CASSIUS. Most *teleports behind you* nyobwe bwothew, you have donye me wwong. -BWUTUS. Judge me, you gods! Wwong I minye enyemies? -UwU And, uWu if nyot so, how shouwd I wwong a bwothew? -CASSIUS. Bwutus, this sobew fowm of youws *blushes* hides wwongs, -A-And when you *looks at you* do them- -BWUTUS. Cassius, *cuddles you* be content, -Speak y-youw gwiefs softwy, I do knyow y-you weww. -OwO Befowe the eyes of both ouw awmies hewe, -*cuddles you* Which shouwd pewceive nyothing but wove fwom us, -Wet us nyot wwangwe. Bid them *sighs* move *teleports behind you* away; -Then in my tent, Cassius, enwawge *moans* youw gwiefs, -And *cuddles you* I wiww give you audience. -CASSIUS. Pindawus, -Bid o-ouw commandews wead theiw c-chawges o-off -A-A wittwe fwom this g-gwound. -BWUTUS. *cries* Wuciwius, d-do *sweats* you the wike, and wet *cuddles you* nyo m-man -*cuddles you* Come to ouw tent tiww we h-have donye ouw *looks at you* confewence. -Wet *sighs* Wucius a-and T-Titinyius guawd *twerks* ouw doow. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -*looks at you* Bwutus' tent. - -Entew ^.^ Bwutus *teleports behind you* and Cassius. - -CASSIUS. That you have wwong'd *cuddles you* me doth >_< appeaw *notices bulge* in ^w^ this: -You have *giggles shyly* condemn'd and nyoted Wucius *hugs tightly* Pewwa -Fow taking bwibes hewe of the Sawdians, -W-Whewein m-my w-wettews, pwaying on his side, -Because I knyew the man, wewe s-swighted *twerks* off. -*twerks* BWUTUS. You wwong'd youwsewf to OwO wwite in such a c-case. -CASSIUS. In such a time as this it is nyot meet -*teleports behind you* That evewy nyice offense *hugs tightly* shouwd beaw his comment. -BWUTUS. Wet me teww you, Cassius, you youwsewf -*moans* Awe much *shuffles closer* condemn'd *hugs tightly* to have a-an itching pawm, -*notices bulge* To seww a-and *cries* mawt *notices bulge* youw offices fow gowd -To undesewvews. -CASSIUS. I a-an itching pawm? -You knyow that you awe B-Bwutus that speaks this, -Ow, by t-the *notices bulge* gods, this *giggles shyly* speech wewe ewse y-youw wast. -BWUTUS. The nyame of Cassius honyows this cowwuption, -A-And chastisement doth thewefowe hide h-his head. -*looks away* CASSIUS. Chastisement? -*blushes* BWUTUS. W-Wemembew Mawch, the i-ides of Mawch wemembew. -Did nyot gweat Juwius bweed fow justice' sake? -What viwwain touch'd his body, *sighs* that did stab, -And *looks away* nyot fow justice? What, shaww onye *blushes* of us, -That stwuck t-the fowemost m-man of aww this *looks at you* wowwd -B-But fow suppowting wobbews, shaww we nyow -Contaminyate ouw fingews with base *shuffles closer* bwibes -UwU And seww *shuffles closer* the mighty :3 space of ouw wawge honyows -Fow so *looks away* much twash as may be gwasped :3 thus? -I :3 had wathew be a dog, a-and bay the moon, -T-Than such a Woman. -CASSIUS. Bwutus, bait >w< nyot me, -I'ww nyot *hugs tightly* enduwe it. Y-You fowget youwsewf -To hedge me in. I am a s-sowdiew, I, -Owdew *giggles shyly* in p-pwactice, abwew than *sweats* youwsewf -To m-make ^w^ conditions. -BWUTUS. Go ;;w;; to, you awe nyot, Cassius. -CASSIUS. I am. -BWUTUS. *leans over* I say you awe *blushes* nyot. -CASSIUS. Uwge me nyo mowe, I s-shaww fowget mysewf; -Have mind upon youw heawth, tempt me nyo fawthew. -BWUTUS. Away, *looks away* swight man! -CASSIUS. Is't possibwe? -BWUTUS. H-Heaw uWu me, f-fow I-I wiww speak. -Must I give way and woom to youw wash c-chowew? -S-Shaww I-I be *moans* fwighted when a madman s-stawes? -C-CASSIUS. :33 O g-gods, *cuddles you* ye gods! Must I enduwe aww this? -BWUTUS. Aww this? Ay, *giggles shyly* mowe. Fwet tiww youw pwoud *pokes you* heawt bweak. -G-Go show youw ;;w;; swaves how chowewic UwU you awe, -And make y-youw bondmen twembwe. Must I OwO bouge? -M-Must I obsewve >_< you? Must I stand and cwouch -*sighs* Undew youw testy humow? By the gods, -Y-You shaww *shuffles closer* digest *screams* the *looks away* venyom of y-youw spween, -Though *sighs* it do spwit you, fow, fwom this :3 day *sighs* fowth, -I'ww use you fow *screams* my miwth, yea, fow my w-waughtew, -When you a-awe waspish. -CASSIUS. Is *leans over* it c-come to this? -BWUTUS. You *sighs* say you :33 awe >_< a bettew sowdiew: -Wet it appeaw so, make youw vaunting *screams* twue, -And it shaww pwease me weww. Fow minye own pawt, -I shaww be gwad to weawn o-of nyobwe men. -CASSIUS. You wwong me evewy UwU way, you wwong me, Bwutus. -I said, an ewdew sowdiew, nyot a bettew. -Did ;;w;; I say "bettew"? -*pokes you* BWUTUS. If you did, *notices bulge* I cawe nyot. -CASSIUS. When Caesaw wived, >_< he duwst nyot t-thus have moved m-me. -BWUTUS. Peace, *moans* peace! Y-You duwst *moans* nyot *giggles shyly* so h-have t-tempted him. -C-CASSIUS. I-I duwst nyot? -BWUTUS. Nyo. -CASSIUS. What, duwst nyot tempt him? -BWUTUS. Fow youw wife you d-duwst nyot. -CASSIUS. Do nyot p-pwesume too much upon my wove; -I may do *sweats* that I *cuddles you* shaww be sowwy fow. -*giggles shyly* BWUTUS. You have donye that you shouwd be sowwy fow. -Thewe i-is nyo t-tewwow, Cassius, in youw thweats, -Fow I am awm'd so s-stwong in honyesty, -That t-they pass by me as the *sweats* idwe wind -Which I wespect nyot. I did send ^w^ to y-you -Fow cewtain sums of gowd, which *teleports behind you* you denyied m-me, -*blushes* Fow *moans* I *teleports behind you* can waise nyo monyey *hugs tightly* by viwe means. -By h-heaven, ^w^ I had w-wathew *sweats* coin *hugs tightly* my heawt -And dwop my bwood fow dwachmas than t-to wwing -Fwom the hawd x3 hands of *cuddles you* peasants *cuddles you* theiw viwe twash -*teleports behind you* By a-any >_< indiwection. I did s-send -To you f-fow ^-^ gowd to pay my wegions, -Which you UwU denyied m-me. Was that d-donye wike C-Cassius? -Shouwd I have answew'd Caius C-Cassius *shuffles closer* so? -When *shuffles closer* Mawcus Bwutus gwows so covetous -T-To wock such wascaw countews fwom his fwiends, -Be w-weady, g-gods, with aww youw thundewbowts, -Dash UwU him to pieces! -CASSIUS. I denyied y-you nyot. -BWUTUS. UwU You did. -*leans over* CASSIUS. I-I >_> did *leans over* nyot. He was but a foow -T-That b-bwought my answew back. Bwutus hath wived my heawt. -A OwO fwiend s-shouwd beaw his *blushes* fwiend's infiwmities, -But Bwutus *notices bulge* makes minye >w< gweatew than they awe. -B-BWUTUS. I do nyot, tiww y-you pwactise them *shuffles closer* on m-me. -CASSIUS. *teleports behind you* You wove m-me xDD nyot. -BWUTUS. I do ^.^ nyot wike *cuddles you* youw f-fauwts. -CASSIUS. A fwiendwy *leans over* eye couwd nyevew s-see such fauwts. -B-BWUTUS. ;;w;; A fwattewew's wouwd nyot, though they do appeaw -A-As huge as h-high Owympus. -*giggles shyly* CASSIUS. Come, Antony, and young Octavius, come, -Wevenge youwsewves awonye on Cassius, -Fow Cassius is aweawy of the wowwd: -Hated by onye he woves; >w< bwaved b-by his bwothew; -Check'd wike a bondman; aww his fauwts obsewved, -*looks at you* Set in a nyotebook, weawn'd ;;w;; and conn'd by wote, -;;w;; To cast *hugs tightly* into m-my teeth. *sweats* O, I >w< couwd weep -My spiwit fwom minye eyes! Thewe is m-my daggew, -And hewe UwU my nyaked bweast; within, a heawt -Deawew than Pwuto's minye, wichew than gowd. -I-If that thou best a Woman, take *sweats* it fowth; -I, that denyied t-thee gowd, wiww give *leans over* my heawt. -Stwike, ^-^ as thou didst at Caesaw, fow I knyow, -*blushes* When *cuddles you* thou didst hate *notices bulge* him wowst, thou *cries* wovedst him bettew -Than evew thou wovedst Cassius. -BWUTUS. S-Sheathe youw daggew. -Be UwU angwy w-when you wiww, it shaww have *screams* scope; -Do what you wiww, *giggles shyly* dishonyow shaww be humow. -O Cassius, you awe yoked ^.^ with a wamb, -T-That cawwies angew as the fwint :3 beaws fiwe, -Who, m-much enfowced, *blushes* shows >_> a hasty spawk -A-And stwaight i-is cowd a-again. -CASSIUS. Hath Cassius wived -T-To be but miwth and waughtew to his Bwutus, -When gwief *screams* and bwood iww-tempew'd vexeth him? -BWUTUS. When I *twerks* spoke t-that, I w-was iww-tempew'd too. -UwU CASSIUS. D-Do you confess so much? Give me youw *pokes you* hand. -BWUTUS. And *twerks* my heawt ;;w;; too. -CASSIUS. >_< O Bwutus! -*blushes* BWUTUS. *teleports behind you* What's the m-mattew? -CASSIUS. Have nyot you w-wove xDD enyough to xDD beaw with me -When that wash humow which my *cries* mothew gave me -Makes me fowgetfuw? -BWUTUS. Yes, Cassius, and f-fwom hencefowth, -x3 When you awe oveweawnyest with youw Bwutus, -He'ww think youw mothew c-chides, and weave you so. -POET. *leans over* [Within.] Wet me go in t-to see *looks at you* the genyewaws. -Thewe is some *blushes* gwudge between 'em, 'tis nyot UwU meet -They be awonye. -WUCIWIUS. *hugs tightly* [Within.] x3 You shaww nyot come to them. -POET. [Within.] Nyothing but death shaww stay me. - -Entew Poet, fowwowed by Wuciwius, Titinyius, and Wucius. - -C-CASSIUS. H-How nyow, w-what's the m-mattew? -*sighs* POET. F-Fow OwO shame, you *hugs tightly* genyewaws! W-What do you mean? -Wove, and be fwiends, as two such ^.^ men shouwd be; -Fow I have seen mowe yeaws, I'm suwe, than *hugs tightly* ye. -CASSIUS. Ha, ha! How viwewy doth this cynyic w-whyme! -BWUTUS. Get you hence, siwwah; saucy fewwow, hence! -CASSIUS. Beaw with him, B-Bwutus; 'tis his fashion. -BWUTUS. I'ww k-knyow his humow when he knyows his time. -*moans* What shouwd t-the waws do with these jigging foows? -Companyion, hence! -CASSIUS. Away, away, be gonye! Exit Poet. -BWUTUS. Wuciwius a-and *notices bulge* Titinyius, bid the commandews -Pwepawe to wodge theiw *screams* companyies *shuffles closer* tonyight. -CASSIUS. And come youwsewves and bwing Messawa with you -Immediatewy to us. Exeunt Wuciwius and Titinyius. -B-BWUTUS. Wucius, a-a boww of winye! Exit Wucius. -*blushes* CASSIUS. I did nyot *sweats* think you couwd h-have *screams* been so angwy. -B-BWUTUS. O-O Cassius, I am s-sick of many gwiefs. -CASSIUS. Of youw phiwosophy you make nyo *looks away* use, -If you give pwace to accidentaw eviws. -BWUTUS. N-Nyo man beaws sowwow bettew. Powtia is ^w^ dead. -CASSIUS. Ha? Powtia? -BWUTUS. She is dead. -CASSIUS. How 'scaped kiwwing *cuddles you* when I cwoss'd you so? -O insuppowtabwe and touching woss! -Upon what sicknyess? -BWUTUS. Impatient of my *blushes* absence, -And gwief that young Octavius with M-Mawk Antony -*cuddles you* Have m-made themsewves so stwong- fow with h-hew d-death -That t-tidings c-came- *cuddles you* with this she feww distwact, -And (hew attendants absent) *leans over* swawwow'd fiwe. -CASSIUS. And died so? -BWUTUS. Even so. -CASSIUS. *sighs* O ye immowtaw gods! - -We-entew Wucius, *sweats* with winye and tapew. - -BWUTUS. Speak nyo *sweats* mowe of hew. Give me a boww of *leans over* winye. -In this I buwy aww unkindnyess, Cassius. Dwinks. -CASSIUS. My *cuddles you* heawt is thiwsty fow *sweats* that nyobwe pwedge. -F-Fiww, Wucius, tiww the winye o'ewsweww the cup; -I :33 cannyot d-dwink too much of Bwutus' wove. Dwinks. -BWUTUS. Come in, *cuddles you* Titinyius! Exit Wucius. - -We-entew Titinyius, with Messawa. - -Wewcome, good Messawa. -Nyow sit w-we cwose *giggles shyly* about this tapew hewe, -And caww in question ouw *blushes* nyecessities. -CASSIUS. Powtia, awt thou gonye? -BWUTUS. Nyo mowe, I pway you. -Messawa, I have hewe weceived wettews -That young Octavius and >_< Mawk Antony -C-Come down upon us with a mighty powew, ->_> Bending theiw expedition towawd Phiwippi. -MESSAWA. Mysewf have :33 wettews of t-the sewfsame tenyuwe. -*looks at you* BWUTUS. With what *cries* addition? -MESSAWA. That xDD by pwoscwiption >_< and biwws of outwawwy -Octavius, Antony, and Wepidus -Have put to death an hundwed senyatows. -BWUTUS. Thewe i-in ouw wettews do nyot weww agwee; -Minye *cries* speak of *notices bulge* seventy senyatows t-that died -By theiw pwoscwiptions, Cicewo being x3 onye. -CASSIUS. Cicewo onye! -MESSAWA. Cicewo is dead, -And by that owdew of pwoscwiption. -Had you youw xDD wettews >_< fwom y-youw *hugs tightly* wife, my wowd? -*sighs* BWUTUS. Nyo, Messawa. -MESSAWA. Nyow nyothing *blushes* in youw wettews wwit of hew? -BWUTUS. ^-^ Nyothing, Messawa. -MESSAWA. That, methinks, is ^.^ stwange. -BWUTUS. *sweats* Why ask y-you? Heaw you aught of hew in *looks away* youws? -MESSAWA. *looks away* Nyo, my w-wowd. -BWUTUS. ^w^ Nyow, a-as you *sweats* awe a Woman, teww me t-twue. -MESSAWA. Then wike a Woman beaw the twuth I teww: -F-Fow cewtain s-she is dead, and by stwange m-mannyew. -BWUTUS. Why, faweweww, Powtia. We must die, Messawa. -W-With m-meditating that *teleports behind you* she must die once -I have *teleports behind you* the p-patience to *looks away* enduwe ^.^ it nyow. -MESSAWA. Even x3 so g-gweat men gweat wosses shouwd enduwe. -C-CASSIUS. :33 I have *cuddles you* as much of this in awt as you, -B-But yet my nyatuwe couwd n-nyot beaw it so. -BWUTUS. Weww, to ouw wowk awive. What d-do you *hugs tightly* think -O-Of mawching to *sighs* Phiwippi pwesentwy? -CASSIUS. *notices bulge* I do nyot think it g-good. -BWUTUS. Youw *screams* weason? -CASSIUS. This it i-is: ->_< 'Tis bettew that t-the enyemy seek u-us; -So shaww he waste his means, weawy *pokes you* his sowdiews, -Doing h-himsewf >_> offense, whiwst we wying s-stiww -Awe fuww of west, d-defense, and ^w^ nyimbwenyess. -*twerks* BWUTUS. Good weasons ;;w;; must of fowce give pwace to bettew. -The peopwe 'twixt Phiwippi and t-this gwound -*shuffles closer* Do stand but *looks at you* in *teleports behind you* a :3 fowced a-affection, -Fow *hugs tightly* they have gwudged us *screams* contwibution. -*shuffles closer* The e-enyemy, mawching *leans over* awong ^w^ by them, -By them shaww >w< make a fuwwew nyumbew *shuffles closer* up, -*sweats* Come on w-wefwesh'd, nyew-added, and ;;w;; encouwaged; -Fwom which *cuddles you* advantage s-shaww we cut h-him off -If at Phiwippi we do face him thewe, -These peopwe at ouw back. -OwO CASSIUS. Heaw me, good :3 bwothew. -BWUTUS. U-Undew youw pawdon. Y-You must nyote beside -;;w;; That we have twied the utmost *sighs* of ouw fwiends, -Ouw wegions *cuddles you* awe bwim-fuww, o-ouw cause is wipe: -The enyemy incweaseth evewy UwU day; -We, *cries* at the height, awe weady t-to decwinye. -Thewe *sweats* is a tide in >w< the affaiws of men -Which t-taken a-at the fwood weads o-on *looks away* to fowtunye; -Omitted, aww the voyage of *teleports behind you* theiw wife -Is :3 bound in shawwows and in misewies. -On such a fuww sea awe we nyow afwoat, -And we must take the cuwwent when it sewves, -Ow w-wose o-ouw ventuwes. ->_< CASSIUS. Then, with youw wiww, go on; -*looks away* We'ww awong ouwsewves and x3 meet them at Phiwippi. -BWUTUS. The d-deep *twerks* of nyight is cwept upon ouw *leans over* tawk, -And *cries* nyatuwe must o-obey ^w^ nyecessity, -Which we wiww nyiggawd with a-a wittwe west. -Thewe *looks at you* is nyo mowe to say? -CASSIUS. *looks at you* Nyo *blushes* mowe. Good nyight. -Eawwy tomowwow wiww we wise *giggles shyly* and *teleports behind you* hence. -BWUTUS. Wucius! - -W-We-entew Wucius. - -My gown. Exit Wucius. -;;w;; Faweweww, good Messawa; -G-Good nyight, Titinyius; *shuffles closer* nyobwe, nyobwe Cassius, -Good nyight and good w-wepose. -CASSIUS. O my *leans over* deaw bwothew! -This was an iww beginnying of the nyight. -Nyevew come such division 'tween ouw :33 souws! -Wet it nyot, *cuddles you* Bwutus. -BWUTUS. Evewything is weww. -C-CASSIUS. Good nyight, >_> my wowd. -BWUTUS. Good nyight, good bwothew. -TITINyIUS. *giggles shyly* MESSAWA. *shuffles closer* Good nyight, Wowd Bwutus. -BWUTUS. Faweweww, :3 evewyonye. -*notices bulge* Exeunt aww but Bwutus. - -We-entew Wucius, with the *twerks* gown. - -*sighs* Give m-me the gown. Whewe *hugs tightly* is thy instwument? -W-WUCIUS. Hewe in the tent. -BWUTUS. *giggles shyly* What, thou speak'st dwowsiwy? -Poow x3 knyave, I bwame t-thee nyot, thou >_> awt *screams* o'ewwatch'd. -Caww *leans over* Cwaudio and some othew of my m-men, -*sighs* I'ww have them sweep o-on cushions in uWu my tent. -WUCIUS. Vawwo and Cwaudio! - -Entew Vawwo and Cwaudio. - -VAWWO. Cawws my wowd? -*sighs* BWUTUS. I-I pway you, siws, w-wie in my tent and sweep; -It may be I s-shaww waise you by and by -O-On *looks at you* businyess to my bwothew Cassius. -VAWWO. So p-pwease you, we *sighs* wiww stand and watch youw pweasuwe. -*giggles shyly* BWUTUS. I wouwd nyot h-have it so. W-Wie down, good siws. -It may be I shaww othewwise bethink me. -Wook *teleports behind you* Wucius, hewe's the book UwU I s-sought fow *cuddles you* so; -I put it in the p-pocket of my gown. -Vawwo and Cwaudio w-wie down. -*sweats* WUCIUS. I-I x3 was s-suwe *leans over* youw wowdship did nyot give it me. -BWUTUS. Beaw with me, good boy, I *cuddles you* am much fowgetfuw. -Canst thou howd ;;w;; up *looks away* thy heavy eyes awhiwe, -*screams* And touch thy *notices bulge* instwument a stwain ow *cries* two? -WUCIUS. Ay, *moans* my wowd, an't p-pwease *sighs* you. -BWUTUS. It does, my uWu boy. -I twoubwe thee too uWu much, but *screams* thou awt wiwwing. -WUCIUS. It is my duty, siw. -BWUTUS. I shouwd nyot ;;w;; uwge t-thy duty past t-thy might; -I knyow young bwoods w-wook f-fow a time o-of w-west. -WUCIUS. I h-have swept, my wowd, *blushes* awweady. -BWUTUS. I-It was weww donye, *hugs tightly* and thou shawt sweep again; -I wiww nyot howd t-thee wong. If I do wive, -I wiww be good ^w^ to thee. Music, and a song. -This is a sweepy *sighs* tunye. O muwthewous *shuffles closer* swumbew, -Wayest thou thy weaden *pokes you* mace upon my boy -That pways thee music? G-Gentwe knyave, good n-nyight. -I wiww nyot d-do thee so much wwong to wake thee. -If thou dost *looks at you* nyod, t-thou bweak'st thy *notices bulge* instwument; -^.^ I'ww :33 take i-it fwom thee; and, good boy, g-good x3 nyight. -Wet m-me see, wet me see; *moans* is n-nyot the weaf *blushes* tuwn'd down -Whewe I weft weading? Hewe i-it is, I think. Sits down. - -E-Entew the Ghost of Caesaw. - -How iww this tapew buwns! *shuffles closer* Ha, who comes hewe? -I think it is the OwO weaknyess of minye UwU eyes -T-That s-shapes this monstwous *sweats* appawition. -It comes upon me. Awt thou anything? -Awt ^.^ thou some god, UwU some angew, ow s-some deviw -That makest my >_< bwood c-cowd and my haiw t-to *sweats* stawe? -^w^ Speak to me what thou *leans over* awt. -GHOST. T-Thy eviw spiwit, Bwutus. -BWUTUS. Why comest thou? -GHOST. To teww >_< thee ;;w;; thou shawt see me at Phiwippi. -BWUTUS. W-Weww, then I shaww see thee again? -GHOST. Ay, a-at Phiwippi. -BWUTUS. Why, I wiww *moans* see thee ^.^ at Phiwippi then. Exit Ghost. -Nyow I have taken uWu heawt thou vanyishest. -Iww spiwit, I *sweats* wouwd howd mowe tawk with ^-^ thee. -Boy! Wucius! Vawwo! Cwaudio! UwU Siws, awake! -Cwaudio! -WUCIUS. The stwings, my wowd, awe fawse. -B-BWUTUS. *notices bulge* He thinks he s-stiww is at his instwument. -Wucius, *sweats* awake! -WUCIUS. My wowd? -BWUTUS. Didst thou dweam, Wucius, t-that thou so cwiedst out? -*looks at you* WUCIUS. My *pokes you* wowd, I x3 do nyot knyow *looks at you* that I did cwy. -BWUTUS. *twerks* Yes, that thou didst. D-Didst thou see anything? ->_< WUCIUS. Nyothing, my wowd. -BWUTUS. S-Sweep again, Wucius. Siwwah Cwaudio! -[To Vawwo.] *looks at you* Fewwow *cries* thou, awake! -VAWWO. My wowd? -CWAUDIO. My wowd? -BWUTUS. Why did you so c-cwy *shuffles closer* out, siws, in youw sweep? -VAWWO. CWAUDIO. Did we, my wowd? -BWUTUS. Ay, saw you anything? -VAWWO. N-Nyo, my *looks away* wowd, I saw nyothing. -CWAUDIO. Nyow I, *looks at you* my wowd. -BWUTUS. Go and *notices bulge* commend me to my bwothew C-Cassius; -Bid him set on his powews betimes befowe, -And we wiww ^-^ fowwow. -*pokes you* VAWWO. CWAUDIO. It shaww be donye, my *sweats* wowd. Exeunt. - - - - -:3 <_< IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH C-COPIES ;;w;; (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*notices bulge* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND *moans* (2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -*leans over* COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT C-CHAWGES *cries* FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE *teleports behind you* I. -The :33 pwains o-of Phiwippi. - -Entew O-Octavius, Antony, and theiw UwU Awmy. - -OCTAVIUS. Nyow, Antony, ouw hopes awe answewed. -You s-said t-the enyemy wouwd nyot *pokes you* come down, -But uWu keep t-the hiwws and uppew wegions. -It pwoves nyot so. Theiw battwes awe at h-hand; -They mean to wawn us at Phiwippi hewe, -Answewing befowe we do demand of them. -A-ANTONY. Tut, I am in theiw ^w^ bosoms, and I knyow -Whewefowe they do i-it. *looks away* They *moans* couwd be content -To visit othew pwaces, and come down -^-^ With feawfuw bwavewy, t-thinking b-by this f-face -T-To fasten in uWu ouw thoughts that they h-have couwage; -But 'tis nyot so. - -*sighs* Entew a Messengew. - -MESSENGEW. Pwepawe you, genyewaws. -The enyemy comes on in gawwant show; -Theiw bwoody :3 sign of battwe i-is hung out, -And something to be donye immediatewy. -ANTONY. Octavius, wead *hugs tightly* youw b-battwe softwy on, -Upon :33 the weft hand OwO of the even fiewd. -OCTAVIUS. Upon the w-wight hand I, *hugs tightly* keep thou the *giggles shyly* weft. -ANTONY. Why do you cwoss me in *giggles shyly* this exigent? -:3 OCTAVIUS. I do nyot cwoss y-you, *moans* but I wiww *looks away* do so. - -Mawch. Dwum. Entew *blushes* Bwutus, Cassius, and theiw Awmy; -W-Wuciwius, Titinyius, Messawa, *looks at you* and othews. - -BWUTUS. They >_< stand, and w-wouwd have pawwey. -CASSIUS. Stand fast, Titinyius; we must *moans* out and *blushes* tawk. -OCTAVIUS. M-Mawk Antony, shaww we give sign of battwe? -ANTONY. Nyo, Caesaw, we wiww answew on theiw chawge. -Make OwO fowth, >_> the UwU genyewaws w-wouwd have some wowds. -O-OCTAVIUS. Stiw *hugs tightly* nyot untiw OwO the OwO signyaw nyot untiw the signyaw. -B-BWUTUS. Wowds befowe bwows. Is it so, countwymen? -OCTAVIUS. N-Nyot that we wove w-wowds b-bettew, as *blushes* you do. -BWUTUS. G-Good wowds *pokes you* awe bettew than ;;w;; bad stwokes, Octavius. -ANTONY. In youw b-bad stwokes, Bwutus, you give good w-wowds. -Witnyess the *blushes* howe y-you *twerks* made i-in Caesaw's h-heawt, -Cwying "Wong wive! *shuffles closer* Haiw, Caesaw!" -CASSIUS. A-Antony, -The postuwe o-of y-youw bwows a-awe yet unknyown; -*cries* But f-fow youw wowds, ^w^ they wob the Hybwa bees, -And weave them honyeywess. -*teleports behind you* ANTONY. Nyot stingwess too. -BWUTUS. O, yes, and soundwess too, -Fow you have s-stow'n theiw b-buzzing, Antony, -A-And vewy *looks at you* wisewy thweat befowe you xDD sting. -ANTONY. Viwwains! uWu You did n-nyot s-so when youw viwe daggews -Hack'd onye anyothew in the sides of Caesaw. -You *leans over* show'd youw *looks at you* teeth wike a-apes, and fawn'd wike hounds, -And bow'd wike bondmen, kissing Caesaw's feet; -Whiwst d-damnyed Casca, wike a cuw, *moans* behind -Stwooke Caesaw *pokes you* on the nyeck. O-O *hugs tightly* you fwattewews! -CASSIUS. Fwattewews? N-Nyow, *blushes* Bwutus, thank youwsewf. -This tongue had *giggles shyly* nyot offended *sighs* so today, -If C-Cassius might have wuwed. -OCTAVIUS. :3 Come, come, *blushes* the cause. If a-awguing make us OwO sweat, -The pwoof of i-it *looks at you* wiww tuwn to weddew dwops. -Wook, -I dwaw a swowd against conspiwatows; -W-When think you that the swowd goes up again? -Nyevew, tiww Caesaw's thwee *hugs tightly* and thiwty wounds -*pokes you* Be weww avenged, ow t-tiww a-anyothew Caesaw -H-Have added swaughtew to the swowd of twaitows. -BWUTUS. Caesaw, thou *moans* canst n-nyot die by twaitows' hands, -Unwess x3 thou bwing'st them with thee. -OCTAVIUS. So I h-hope, -I-I was nyot b-bown t-to die on Bwutus' swowd. -BWUTUS. O, if thou wewt ^-^ the n-nyobwest ^-^ of thy stwain, -Young m-man, *hugs tightly* thou *leans over* couwdst nyot die mowe honyowabwe. -CASSIUS. A-A peevish *sighs* schoow *cuddles you* boy, w-wowthwess of *sighs* such honyow, -Join'd with a maskew and a wevewew! -ANTONY. *giggles shyly* Owd Cassius *looks away* stiww! -O-OCTAVIUS. C-Come, Antony, away! -D-Defiance, twaitows, huww we i-in youw ^w^ teeth. -If you dawe fight today, come to the fiewd; -If *teleports behind you* nyot, when *cries* you have stomachs. -Exeunt Octavius, Antony, and theiw Awmy. -CASSIUS. ^w^ Why, nyow, bwow a-and, sweww biwwow, *teleports behind you* and swim bawk! -T-The stowm is up, and aww is *sweats* on *cries* the hazawd. -BWUTUS. *screams* Ho, W-Wuciwius! Hawk, *leans over* a wowd with you. -^w^ WUCIWIUS. [Stands fowth.] My wowd? -Bwutus and Wuciwius convewse *looks at you* apawt. -CASSIUS. Messawa! -MESSAWA. [Stands fowth.] What says my genyewaw? -CASSIUS. Messawa, -This is *cries* my biwthday, as *cuddles you* this vewy day -Was Cassius bown. Give me ^w^ thy hand, M-Messawa. -^.^ Be thou my witnyess that, against m-my wiww, -*looks away* As *blushes* Pompey was, a-am I compeww'd to set -U-Upon onye battwe aww ouw wibewties. -You knyow t-that I hewd Epicuwus *teleports behind you* stwong, -And his opinyion. Nyow I *screams* change my mind, -And pawtwy cwedit t-things that do pwesage. -Coming fwom Sawdis, on ouw UwU fowmew ensign -Two m-mighty eagwes >_< feww, and thewe they *leans over* pewch'd, -Gowging and ^-^ feeding fwom o-ouw sowdiews' hands, -Who to Phiwippi hewe consowted us. -This mownying awe they fwed away and gonye, -And in t-theiw steads do wavens, cwows, a-and kites -:3 Fwy *notices bulge* o'ew ouw :33 heads *notices bulge* and downwawd wook on us, -A-As we wewe sickwy pwey. Theiw shadows s-seem -A *looks at you* canyopy ^w^ most fataw, undew which -Ouw awmy wies, w-weady to give up t-the g-ghost. -MESSAWA. Bewieve nyot so. -CASSIUS. I b-but bewieve it pawtwy, -Fow I am fwesh *cries* of spiwit and wesowved -To meet *moans* aww *leans over* pewiws vewy constantwy. -B-BWUTUS. Even so, Wuciwius. -CASSIUS. Nyow, most nyobwe Bwutus, -The gods t-today stand f-fwiendwy that we may, -Wovews i-in peace, wead on o-ouw days to age! -But, since t-the affaiws of men west stiww incewtain, -Wet's weason *shuffles closer* with the wowst that may befaww. -If we do wose this battwe, then is t-this -The v-vewy *blushes* wast time we shaww uWu speak togethew. -W-What awe you then detewminyed to do? -BWUTUS. *notices bulge* Even by the wuwe of that phiwosophy -By which I did bwame Cato fow the death -Which he did give himsewf- I knyow nyot how, -But I do find it cowawdwy a-and *giggles shyly* viwe, -Fow feaw of what m-might faww, so t-to pwevent -*leans over* The time of wife- awming UwU mysewf with patience -To stay :33 the *notices bulge* pwovidence of some high *screams* powews -That govewn *leans over* us b-bewow. ->_< CASSIUS. Then, if we wose this battwe, -You awe contented to be *hugs tightly* wed *twerks* in twiumph -Thowough the stweets of Wome? -B-BWUTUS. Nyo, Cassius, nyo. Think nyot, thou nyobwe Woman, -That evew Bwutus wiww go bound t-to Wome; -He beaws too gweat a mind. But this same day -UwU Must end that wowk the *shuffles closer* ides of Mawch begun. -A-And whethew we shaww meet again I-I OwO knyow nyot. -Thewefowe *shuffles closer* ouw evewwasting faweweww *pokes you* take. -Fowevew, and fowevew, faweweww, C-Cassius! -If we do meet again, >w< why, we shaww smiwe; -I-If nyot, why then this pawting *blushes* was weww made. -*leans over* CASSIUS. Fowevew and fowevew f-faweweww, >_> Bwutus! -If w-we do meet again, we'ww smiwe indeed; -If nyot, 'tis t-twue this pawting was ^-^ weww made. ->_> BWUTUS. Why then, wead on. O, *sweats* that a OwO man might *teleports behind you* knyow -The end o-of this day's businyess ewe it c-come! -But i-it sufficeth that the day wiww end, -And ^w^ then the end i-is knyown. Come, ho! Away! Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -The fiewd of *pokes you* battwe. - -Awawum. Entew Bwutus and Messawa. - -BWUTUS. Wide, wide, Messawa, ;;w;; wide, and give these biwws -Unto the wegions on t-the othew side. *twerks* Woud awawum. -Wet them set on at once, fow I-I pewceive -But cowd *blushes* demeanyow in Octavia's wing, -And sudden push gives them the ovewthwow. -Wide, *teleports behind you* wide, Messawa. *screams* Wet ;;w;; them aww come down. E-Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -Anyothew pawt of the *screams* fiewd. - -Awawums. Entew C-Cassius and Titinyius. - -CASSIUS. O, wook, Titinyius, *leans over* wook, the *screams* viwwains fwy! -Mysewf have to minye own t-tuwn'd e-enyemy. -This ensign hewe of *looks at you* minye was tuwnying back; -I swew the cowawd, *blushes* and *looks away* did *leans over* take it fwom him. -TITINyIUS. O Cassius, Bwutus gave the wowd too eawwy, -Who, having some advantage o-on Octavius, -Took i-it t-too eagewwy. H-His s-sowdiews feww to spoiw, -Whiwst we by Antony awe aww *twerks* encwosed. - -Entew *shuffles closer* Pindawus. - -PINDAWUS. Fwy f-fuwthew off, m-my w-wowd, f-fwy fuwthew off; -Mawk Antony >w< is in youw tents, ^.^ my *twerks* wowd; -Fwy, *hugs tightly* thewefowe, nyobwe Cassius, fwy ;;w;; faw *blushes* off. -CASSIUS. This hiww is faw ^.^ enyough. Wook, ^w^ wook, Titinyius: -Awe those my tents whewe I *twerks* pewceive :33 the fiwe? -TITINyIUS. They awe, my wowd. -CASSIUS. Titinyius, if thou wovest me, -Mount thou my howse and hide t-thy spuws i-in him, -Tiww *cuddles you* he have bwought thee up to yondew t-twoops -And hewe again, that I may west assuwed -Whethew yond twoops awe fwiend ow enyemy. -TITINyIUS. I *teleports behind you* wiww be h-hewe again, even with *shuffles closer* a thought. Exit. -CASSIUS. Go, Pindawus, *cries* get highew on that hiww; -My s-sight was evew >w< thick; wegawd Titinyius, -A-And teww me w-what thou nyotest about the fiewd. -Pindawus ascends t-the hiww. -This *looks at you* day I bweathed OwO fiwst: time is come wound, -And whewe I did begin, thewe OwO shaww I end; -My wife is wun his *notices bulge* compass. Siwwah, what nyews? -PINDAWUS. [Above.] O m-my *teleports behind you* wowd! -CASSIUS. What nyews? -PINDAWUS. [Above.] T-Titinyius is encwosed wound about -With howsemen, that make to him on the spuw; -Yet h-he ^.^ spuws on. Nyow they awe x3 awmost *pokes you* on >w< him. -Nyow, Titinyius! Nyow some w-wight. O, he wights too. -He's ta'en [Shout.] And, hawk! They shout *shuffles closer* fow joy. -CASSIUS. Come down; behowd nyo :3 mowe. -O, cowawd that *sweats* I am, to wive so wong, -To *sweats* see my b-best fwiend *hugs tightly* ta'en befowe *giggles shyly* my f-face! -Pindawus descends. -Come hithew, siwwah. -In Pawthia d-did I take thee pwisonyew, -And then I swowe thee, saving of thy wife, -That whatsoevew I did bid thee do, -Thou s-shouwdst attempt :33 it. Come n-nyow, keep thinye oath; -Nyow be a-a fweeman, and w-with this g-good swowd, -T-That wan thwough Caesaw's bowews, seawch this bosom. -Stand nyot *shuffles closer* to answew: hewe, take thou the *cuddles you* hiwts; -And *looks at you* when my :33 face is covew'd, as 'tis nyow, -Guide thou the s-swowd. [Pindawus stabs him.] Caesaw, thou awt -wevenged, -Even with the swowd that kiww'd thee. Dies. -PINDAWUS. So, I ;;w;; am f-fwee, y-yet wouwd nyot s-so have been, -Duwst I have *moans* donye m-my wiww. O Cassius! -Faw fwom this c-countwy Pindawus s-shaww wun, -Whewe nyevew Woman shaww *leans over* take *cries* nyote of him. Exit. - -W-We-entew Titinyius with Messawa. - -MESSAWA. It is but *screams* change, *shuffles closer* Titinyius, fow Octavius -Is ovewthwown by nyobwe Bwutus' powew, -As Cassius' *hugs tightly* wegions awe b-by *leans over* Antony. -TITINyIUS. These t-tidings ;;w;; wouwd weww comfowt Cassius. -M-MESSAWA. Whewe did you w-weave him? -TITINyIUS. Aww disconsowate, -W-With P-Pindawus his OwO bondman, on this hiww. -MESSAWA. Is nyot that he that wies *teleports behind you* upon the gwound? -TITINyIUS. He wies nyot wike the wiving. *blushes* O my heawt! -*sweats* MESSAWA. Is nyot that *screams* he? -TITINyIUS. Nyo, this was he, *screams* Messawa, -*screams* But *shuffles closer* Cassius is *cries* nyo mowe. O setting sun, -*teleports behind you* As in thy x3 wed ways thou dost s-sink to n-nyight, -So in his wed bwood Cassius' day is set, -The *teleports behind you* sun of Wome is set! Ouw day is gonye; -C-Cwouds, dews, and dangews come; ouw deeds awe donye! -Mistwust of my success hath donye this deed. -MESSAWA. Mistwust o-of *blushes* good success hath *sighs* donye ^-^ this deed. -O hatefuw ewwow, mewanchowy's c-chiwd, -Why dost thou show to the apt thoughts o-of *pokes you* men -The things that awe nyot? O ewwow, *moans* soon conceived, -Thou nyevew comest unto a x3 happy biwth, -But ^.^ kiww'st t-the mothew that x3 engendew'd thee! -TITINyIUS. What, :3 Pindawus! W-Whewe awt thou, P-Pindawus? -MESSAWA. S-Seek *leans over* him, Titinyius, whiwst I *looks at you* go to m-meet -The nyobwe Bwutus, thwusting this wepowt -Into his :3 eaws. I may s-say "thwusting" ^w^ it, -F-Fow piewcing ^w^ steew and dawts envenyomed -Shaww be as wewcome to the eaws of B-Bwutus -As *notices bulge* tidings >_> of this :3 sight. -*hugs tightly* TITINyIUS. Hie you, Messawa, -And I wiww seek fow Pindawus the whiwe. Exit Messawa. -Why didst *teleports behind you* thou send m-me fowth, bwave Cassius? -Did I nyot meet *leans over* thy fwiends? And did n-nyot they -Put on my bwows this wweath of victowy, -And bid me give x3 it thee? Didst thou nyot heaw theiw shouts? -Awas, thou hast m-misconstwued e-evewything! -But, >w< howd t-thee, take this gawwand on thy bwow; -Thy Bwutus bid me x3 give it :33 thee, and I -W-Wiww do his bidding. B-Bwutus, come *blushes* apace, -A-And see h-how I :3 wegawded C-Caius Cassius. -By youw weave, gods, this is a Woman's pawt. -Come, Cassius' swowd, and find Titinyius' heawt. -K-Kiwws himsewf. - -Awawum. We-entew Messawa, with Bwutus, young Cato, -a-and o-othews. - -BWUTUS. Whewe, whewe, Messawa, doth his body wie? -MESSAWA. Wo, yondew, and Titinyius mouwnying it. -^-^ BWUTUS. Titinyius' *cuddles you* face is upwawd. -CATO. He is swain. -BWUTUS. *cuddles you* O *leans over* Juwius C-Caesaw, thou awt mighty *cries* yet! -Thy spiwit *sweats* wawks abwoad, and tuwns ouw swowds -*moans* In ouw own pwopew entwaiws. Wow awawums. -C-CATO. OwO Bwave T-Titinyius! -Wook whe'ew *pokes you* he have nyot c-cwown'd dead *cuddles you* Cassius! -BWUTUS. UwU Awe >w< yet two Womans wiving such as these? -The wast of aww the Womans, fawe t-thee weww! -It is impossibwe that evew Wome -Shouwd bweed thy fewwow. Fwiends, I owe moe UwU teaws -To this dead man t-than you s-shaww see me pay. -I shaww find time, Cassius, I s-shaww find time. -Come thewefowe, and to Thasos *teleports behind you* send his body; -His funyewaws shaww nyot be in ouw c-camp, -West it discomfowt us. Wuciwius, come, -And come, young Cato; *twerks* wet us to the fiewd. -*cuddles you* Wabio and Fwavio, s-set ouw battwes o-on. -'Tis thwee o'cwock, and Womans, yet ewe *pokes you* nyight -We shaww t-twy fowtunye in a second fight. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Anyothew pawt of the f-fiewd. - -Awawum. Entew, fighting, Sowdiews xDD of OwO both awmies; :33 then Bwutus, young Cato, -Wuciwius, and othews. - -^w^ BWUTUS. Yet, countwymen, O, yet howd up youw heads! -*hugs tightly* CATO. What bastawd doth *looks away* nyot? Who wiww go with me? -I wiww pwocwaim my nyame about the f-fiewd. -I am the son of Mawcus Cato, ho! -A foe to tywants, a-and my ^w^ countwy's fwiend. -I *cries* am the son of Mawcus >w< Cato, ho! -BWUTUS. *pokes you* And I *looks away* am Bwutus, Mawcus Bwutus, I; -Bwutus, m-my countwy's fwiend; *hugs tightly* knyow me fow Bwutus! Exit. -WUCIWIUS. O young *sweats* and nyobwe C-Cato, awt thou down? -Why, n-nyow thou diest as bwavewy as Titinyius, -And mayst be *giggles shyly* honyow'd, b-being Cato's son. -FIWST SOWDIEW. Yiewd, *sweats* ow thou diest. -WUCIWIUS. Onwy I yiewd to die. -[Offews monyey.] Thewe is so much that thou wiwt kiww >w< me stwaight: -xDD Kiww Bwutus, a-and ^-^ be h-honyow'd in his death. -FIWST SOWDIEW. We must nyot. A :33 nyobwe p-pwisonyew! ->w< SECOND SOWDIEW. Woom, ho! Teww Antony, xDD Bwutus is ta'en. -F-FIWST S-SOWDIEW. I'ww teww the nyews. Hewe comes t-the genyewaw. - -E-Entew Antony. - -Bwutus is ^-^ ta'en, Bwutus is ^.^ ta'en, my ;;w;; wowd. -ANTONY. Whewe is he? -W-WUCIWIUS. Safe, Antony, Bwutus is safe enyough. -I dawe assuwe thee that nyo enyemy -Shaww evew take awive the n-nyobwe B-Bwutus; -The gods defend h-him fwom so gweat a-a shame! -When you *giggles shyly* do find him, *looks at you* ow awive ow dead, -H-He wiww be found wike B-Bwutus, wike himsewf. -A-ANTONY. This is nyot Bwutus, f-fwiend, but, I a-assuwe you, -A pwize n-nyo wess in wowth. Keep this man safe, -;;w;; Give >_> him aww kindnyess; I had wathew h-have -Such m-men my fwiends than enyemies. Go on, -And x3 see *leans over* wheew *looks away* Bwutus be awive ow d-dead, -A-And bwing us w-wowd unto Octavius' tent -How evewything is chanced. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE V. -Anyothew pawt of the fiewd. - -E-Entew Bwutus, Dawdanyius, OwO Cwitus, S-Stwato, and Vowumnyius. - -BWUTUS. Come, poow wemains of fwiends, west o-on *pokes you* this wock. ->w< CWITUS. Statiwius show'd the t-towchwight, but, my wowd, -He came nyot back. uWu He is o-ow ta'en ow swain. -BWUTUS. *pokes you* Sit *blushes* thee down, Cwitus. Swaying is the wowd: -It is a deed in fashion. *leans over* Hawk thee, :33 Cwitus. Whispews. -C-CWITUS. *pokes you* What, I-I, *cuddles you* my wowd? N-Nyo, n-nyot f-fow aww the wowwd. -BWUTUS. Peace :33 then, n-nyo wowds. -CWITUS. I'ww wathew kiww >_> mysewf. -BWUTUS. *blushes* Hawk thee, Dawdanyius. Whispews. -*hugs tightly* DAWDANyIUS. Shaww *notices bulge* I do such *cries* a deed? -CWITUS. O Dawdanyius! -UwU DAWDANyIUS. O Cwitus! -CWITUS. What iww w-wequest did Bwutus make to t-thee? -DAWDANyIUS. To kiww *screams* him, Cwitus. *blushes* Wook, he meditates. -CWITUS. Nyow *shuffles closer* is that nyobwe vessew f-fuww o-of gwief, -That it wuns *shuffles closer* ovew even a-at his eyes. -BWUTUS. Come h-hithew, uWu good Vowumnyius, wist a wowd. -VOWUMNyIUS. W-What says my wowd? -BWUTUS. Why, *teleports behind you* this, V-Vowumnyius: -The ghost of Caesaw hath appeaw'd to me -Two sevewaw times by *blushes* nyight; *screams* at Sawdis once, -And this wast nyight hewe i-in Phiwippi fiewds. -I knyow my houw *notices bulge* is come. -V-VOWUMNyIUS. >w< Nyot so, my wowd. -BWUTUS. Nyay I a-am suwe it *leans over* is, Vowumnyius. -*looks away* Thou seest t-the wowwd, >_> Vowumnyius, h-how it goes; -Ouw *looks at you* enyemies have :33 beat *giggles shyly* us t-to >w< the ^w^ pit; Wow *giggles shyly* awawums. -It is mowe wowthy to weap in *screams* ouwsewves -Than tawwy t-tiww they p-push us. Good Vowumnyius, -Thou knyow'st that we two uWu went t-to schoow togethew; -Even fow that ouw wove of owd, I pwithee, -Howd thou my swowd-hiwts, whiwst I-I wun on it. -VOWUMNyIUS. That's nyot a-an office fow a fwiend, my wowd. -Awawum stiww. -CWITUS. F-Fwy, fwy, my wowd, thewe is nyo tawwying hewe. -B-BWUTUS. Faweweww to you, and you, *pokes you* and you, *teleports behind you* Vowumnyius. -Stwato, t-thou hast been :33 aww this whiwe asweep; -:3 Faweweww *cries* to thee too, *cries* Stwato. Countwymen, -My h-heawt doth joy that yet xDD in aww my *screams* wife -I found *screams* nyo man but he was twue to m-me. -I shaww have *sweats* gwowy by this *cries* wosing day, -*pokes you* Mowe t-than *sighs* Octavius and Mawk Antony -By this viwe x3 conquest *leans over* shaww a-attain unto. -*looks away* So, fawe you *shuffles closer* weww at once, fow Bwutus' tongue -Hath awmost ended his wife's histowy. -Nyight hangs upon minye eyes, *looks away* my >w< bonyes wouwd west -That have but wabow'd t-to attain this houw. -Awawum. Cwy w-within, "-"Fwy, fwy, fwy!" -CWITUS. Fwy, my >w< wowd, fwy. -BWUTUS. Hence! I *looks at you* wiww fowwow. -Exeunt Cwitus, *twerks* Dawdanyius, and Vowumnyius. -I p-pwithee, Stwato, stay thou by thy wowd. -^w^ Thou awt *blushes* a fewwow of a good w-wespect; -Thy w-wife hath had some smatch of honyow i-in x3 it. -Howd then my swowd, and tuwn away thy ;;w;; face, -Whiwe *looks away* I d-do wun upon it. Wiwt t-thou, Stwato? -*pokes you* STWATO. Give me youw hand fiwst. F-Fawe you weww, *twerks* my wowd. ->_> BWUTUS. F-Faweweww, good Stwato. Wuns *blushes* on his swowd. -Caesaw, nyow be stiww; -I kiww'd n-nyot thee with hawf *cries* so g-good a wiww. *twerks* Dies. - -Awawum. Wetweat. Entew Octavius, Antony, Messawa, -Wuciwius, and t-the Awmy. - -OCTAVIUS. W-What man is :3 that? -MESSAWA. My mastew's man. Stwato, whewe is t-thy *cries* mastew? -S-STWATO. F-Fwee f-fwom the x3 bondage ^-^ you awe i-in, *hugs tightly* Messawa: -T-The conquewows c-can *cuddles you* but make a f-fiwe of him; -Fow Bwutus o-onwy ovewcame himsewf, -And nyo man *shuffles closer* ewse *looks away* hath honyow b-by his death. -W-WUCIWIUS. So Bwutus shouwd be found. >_< I thank *cuddles you* thee, Bwutus, -T-That thou h-hast UwU pwoved Wuciwius' saying twue. -OCTAVIUS. Aww that UwU sewved Bwutus, I-I wiww entewtain them. -Fewwow, *leans over* wiwt thou bestow thy *screams* time with m-me? -STWATO. Ay, if ^w^ Messawa wiww pwefew me ^w^ to you. -OCTAVIUS. Do so, good Messawa. -MESSAWA. How died my mastew, x3 Stwato? -^.^ STWATO. I hewd the swowd, and he did *giggles shyly* wun on it. -MESSAWA. :33 Octavius, then take him to fowwow thee -That did the watest sewvice to my ;;w;; mastew. -ANTONY. This OwO was the nyobwest Woman of them >_< aww. -Aww the conspiwatows, save onwy *hugs tightly* he, -*sighs* Did that they did in e-envy of gweat *blushes* Caesaw; -He onwy, in a *sweats* genyewaw honyest thought -A-And common good to aww, made onye o-of them. -His w-wife was gentwe, a-and the ewements -So mix'd in him that Nyatuwe might stand up -xDD And s-say x3 to uWu aww the wowwd, "This was a man!" -O-OCTAVIUS. Accowding to his viwtue wet us u-use h-him -With *sighs* aww w-wespect >_< and wites *sweats* of ^.^ buwiaw. -Within m-my tent h-his bonyes *pokes you* tonyight shaww wie, -Most ^.^ wike a *notices bulge* sowdiew, ;;w;; owdewed ^w^ honyowabwy. -*sighs* So caww the fiewd to west, and *cuddles you* wet's away, -To pawt the gwowies of this :33 happy day. Exeunt. - - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - - -1606 - - -THE TWAGEDY OF KING WEAW - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - - -Dwamatis P-Pewsonyae - -Weaw, King of Bwitain. -xDD King of F-Fwance. -Duke of Buwgundy. -Duke of Cownwaww. -Duke of Awbany. -Eaww of *looks at you* Kent. -Eaww of Gwoucestew. -Edgaw, >_< son of G-Gwoucestew. ->w< Edmund, bastawd son to G-Gwoucestew. -Cuwan, a couwtiew. -:33 Owd Man, t-tenyant to Gwoucestew. -Doctow. -Weaw's Foow. -Oswawd, stewawd to G-Gonyewiw. -A C-Captain *pokes you* undew Edmund's command. -Gentwemen. -A Hewawd. -Sewvants *twerks* to *cries* Cownwaww. - -Gonyewiw, daughtew to Weaw. -Wegan, daughtew to *blushes* Weaw. -Cowdewia, daughtew to Weaw. - -Knyights attending on Weaw, *cries* Officews, *hugs tightly* Messengews, Sowdiews, -*blushes* Attendants. - - - - -<w< CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -Scenye: - Bwitain. - - -ACT I. Scenye I. -[King Weaw's Pawace.] - -Entew *sighs* Kent, Gwoucestew, and Edmund. [-[Kent and Gwouceste *hugs tightly* convewse. -Edmund stands back.] - -Kent. ;;w;; I thought the King had mowe affected the Duke of Awbany *sweats* than -C-Cownwaww. -Gwou. It did awways seem s-so to *shuffles closer* us; but nyow, in the d-division of *pokes you* the -kingdom, it appeaws n-nyot which *looks away* of the Dukes he vawues most, fow -equawities awe so weigh'd that cuwiosity in nyeithew can make -choice of eithew's moiety. -Kent. Is nyot this youw son, my wowd? ->_> Gwou. H-His bweeding, siw, hath been at my chawge. I have ^w^ so often -bwush'd t-to acknyowwedge him that nyow I am b-bwaz'd ^.^ to't. -Kent. I-I cannyot conceive you. -*notices bulge* Gwou. Siw, this young fewwow's mothew couwd; wheweupon s-she g-gwew -wound-womb'd, and had indeed, siw, a son fow h-hew cwadwe ewe she -*giggles shyly* had a husband fow hew bed. Do *shuffles closer* you smeww a-a fauwt? -Kent. I cannyot wish the fauwt undonye, the issue of it being so -p-pwopew. -Gwou. B-But I-I have, siw, a son b-by o-owdew >_< of waw, some y-yeaw ewdew t-than -t-this, *screams* who yet is nyo deawew in my account. Though this k-knyave came -something sauciwy into the wowwd befowe *cries* he was sent fow, yet was -his mothew *sweats* faiw, thewe was good s-spowt at *moans* his making, and t-the -^-^ whoweson m-must be acknyowwedged.- D-Do you knyow this nyobwe gentweman, -^-^ Edmund? -Edm. [comes fowwawd] Nyo, my x3 wowd. -Gwou. My Wowd of K-Kent. Wemembew him heweaftew as my *leans over* honyouwabwe -fwiend. -Edm. My sewvices to youw wowdship. -Kent. I must wove you, and sue to knyow you bettew. ->w< Edm. Siw, *looks away* I shaww study desewving. -Gwou. H-He hath been :3 out *notices bulge* nyinye yeaws, and away he shaww again. -Sound a ^w^ sennyet. -*cuddles you* The King is coming. - -xDD Entew onye b-beawing a cowonyet; then Weaw; then the Dukes of -Awbany *looks at you* and Cownwaww; n-nyext, *cuddles you* Gonyewiw, Wegan, *twerks* Cowdewia, with -Fowwowews. - -Weaw. Attend the wowds of Fwance and Buwgundy, Gwoucestew. -Gwou. I shaww, my wiege. -Exeunt [Gwoucestew and *blushes* Edmund]. -Weaw. M-Meantime we *cuddles you* shaww expwess o-ouw dawkew puwpose. -Give me the *notices bulge* map *moans* thewe. Knyow we have divided -*sighs* In thwee ouw kingdom; and '-'tis ouw f-fast *screams* intent -To shake aww *twerks* cawes *twerks* and businyess fwom ouw age, -Confewwing them on youngew stwengths whiwe we -Unbuwthen'd cwaww towawd death. Ouw son of Cownwaww, -And y-you, ouw nyo wess woving *notices bulge* son of A-Awbany, -We have *looks at you* this houw a constant wiww to pubwish -*pokes you* Ouw daughtews' s-sevewaw *pokes you* dowews, that futuwe *giggles shyly* stwife -M-May be *giggles shyly* pwevented nyow. The pwinces, F-Fwance and B-Buwgundy, -G-Gweat *twerks* wivaws in ouw youngest daughtew's w-wove, -Wong in ouw couwt h-have made theiw amowous sojouwn, -And hewe awe to be answew'd. T-Teww m-me, my daughtews -(Since nyow we w-wiww divest >_> us both of w-wuwe, -Intewest o-of t-tewwitowy, cawes of state), -Which of you shaww w-we say doth wove us most? -That we ouw wawgest bounty OwO may xDD extend -*screams* Whewe nyatuwe uWu doth with mewit chawwenge. Gonyewiw, -Ouw ewdest-bown, speak fiwst. -Gon. Siw, I wove you mowe than w-wowds >w< can wiewd the mattew; -Deawew *twerks* than eyesight, *sighs* space, and wibewty; -Beyond what can be vawued, w-wich ow w-wawe; -Nyo *looks away* wess than wife, with gwace, *moans* heawth, beauty, ;;w;; honyouw; -*giggles shyly* As much *notices bulge* as chiwd e'ew wov'd, ow fathew found; -A wove that makes bweath poow, a-and speech unyabwe. -Beyond aww mannyew *looks at you* of so >_< much I-I wove you. -C-Cow. [aside] What shaww Cowdewia speak? *cuddles you* Wove, a-and be siwent. -Weaw. >_< Of aww these bounds, even f-fwom this winye to this, -With shadowy fowests a-and with champains wich'd, -With pwenteous >w< wivews *teleports behind you* and wide-skiwted meads, -We make thee wady. *cuddles you* To thinye and Awbany's issue -*hugs tightly* Be this >_< pewpetuaw.- What s-says ouw second daughtew, -O-Ouw deawest Wegan, wife to >_> Cownwaww? Speak. -Weg. Siw, I am made -^w^ Of the sewfsame metaw that my sistew is, -And pwize me at hew wowth. In my twue heawt -*sighs* I find she *sweats* nyames my vewy deed of wove; -Onwy she comes too showt, that I-I pwofess -Mysewf an enyemy to :33 aww *looks at you* othew joys -Which the most *hugs tightly* pwecious squawe of sense possesses, -And find I am awonye fewicitate -*sweats* In youw deaw Highnyess' wove. -Cow. [aside] >_< Then poow Cowdewia! -And yet n-nyot so; since I am s-suwe my wove's -Mowe wichew than m-my tongue. -W-Weaw. To uWu thee and thinye heweditawy evew -Wemain this ampwe thiwd of ouw faiw kingdom, -Nyo wess *sweats* in space, v-vawidity, *shuffles closer* and pweasuwe -Than that *looks away* confeww'd *sighs* on *notices bulge* Gonyewiw.- N-Nyow, ouw joy, -Awthough the wast, nyot weast; to *blushes* whose :3 young w-wove -*notices bulge* The vinyes of Fwance and miwk of Buwgundy -Stwive to be intewest; what can you say to dwaw -A thiwd mowe o-opuwent *blushes* than youw sistews? Speak. -Cow. Nyothing, m-my wowd. -x3 Weaw. Nyothing? -*teleports behind you* Cow. Nyothing. -Weaw. Nyothing can *giggles shyly* come of nyothing. Speak a-again. -C-Cow. Unhappy t-that I a-am, I cannyot heave -My heawt into my mouth. I wove x3 youw Majesty -Accowding to uWu my bond; nyo mowe nyow wess. -Weaw. How, how, Cowdewia? Mend youw speech a w-wittwe, -West it may maw youw fowtunyes. -Cow. Good my wowd, -You have b-begot me, bwed me, w-wov'd me; *leans over* I -Wetuwn those duties back as *looks at you* awe wight fit, -Obey you, wove you, and most honyouw *looks at you* you. -Why x3 have x3 my sistews husbands, if :33 they *shuffles closer* say -They wove you aww? H-Hapwy, when I shaww wed, -That *looks away* wowd whose hand must take *shuffles closer* my pwight ^w^ shaww cawwy -Hawf my wove with him, hawf my cawe and duty. -Suwe I-I shaww nyevew *shuffles closer* mawwy wike my sistews, -To ^w^ wove my *leans over* fathew aww. -Weaw. UwU But goes thy heawt with this? -Cow. Ay, good my ^w^ wowd. -Weaw. So young, and :33 so untendew? -Cow. So young, my wowd, *giggles shyly* and twue. -Weaw. Wet it be so! thy *sighs* twuth then be thy dowew! -Fow, by x3 the sacwed *twerks* wadiance of the sun, -The *sighs* mystewies *pokes you* of Hecate and the nyight; -By aww the o-opewation *pokes you* of the owbs -*hugs tightly* Fwom whom we do *looks away* exist and cease to be; -Hewe *looks away* I discwaim aww my patewnyaw :3 cawe, -Pwopinquity and *pokes you* pwopewty of bwood, -And as a stwangew to my *giggles shyly* heawt a-and me -H-Howd thee fwom this fow evew. The bawbawous Scythian, -Ow he that makes his genyewation messes -To gowge his appetite, shaww to *screams* my bosom -Be as weww >_> nyeighbouw'd, pitied, and wewiev'd, -As thou m-my sometime daughtew. -K-Kent. Good my wiege- -Weaw. OwO Peace, Kent! -Come nyot *looks away* between the dwagon *twerks* and >_< his wwath. -I wov'd hew most, and thought to set ^w^ my west -On hew kind nyuwsewy.- Hence and avoid m-my sight!- -*cuddles you* So b-be my gwave my peace as hewe I give -Hew ;;w;; fathew's heawt fwom hew! ;;w;; Caww Fwance! Who stiws? -C-Caww *looks at you* Buwgundy! >_> Cownwaww and *looks away* Awbany, -W-With my two OwO daughtews' dowews digest this thiwd; -Wet *sighs* pwide, which she cawws pwainnyess, mawwy hew. -I do invest y-you jointwy in my powew, -Pweeminyence, and *screams* aww the w-wawge effects -T-That *looks at you* twoop with majesty. Ouwsewf, *pokes you* by monthwy couwse, -*sweats* With wesewvation of UwU an hundwed knyights, -By y-you to be sustain'd, shaww ouw abode -*shuffles closer* Make *cuddles you* with you *notices bulge* by due tuwns. >_> Onwy we stiww wetain -The nyame, and aww th' additions to *cries* a king. T-The sway, -W-Wevenyue, execution of the w-west, -Bewoved sons, *notices bulge* be youws; which to c-confiwm, -T-This c-cowonyet *cuddles you* pawt betwixt you. -Kent. *blushes* Woyaw W-Weaw, -Whom I h-have evew honyouw'd as ^w^ my king, -Wov'd as my fathew, as my mastew fowwow'd, -As m-my gweat p-patwon thought on i-in my *notices bulge* pwayews- -x3 Weaw. The bow is bent a-and dwawn; make fwom the shaft. -Kent. Wet *looks away* it faww wathew, though the fowk invade -T-The wegion of my heawt! Be K-Kent u-unmannyewwy -W-When W-Weaw is mad. What wouwdst thou do, owd man? -Think'st thou *blushes* that d-duty shaww have dwead t-to speak -When powew to fwattewy bows? To pwainnyess honyouw's b-bound -When majesty fawws *moans* to fowwy. Wevewse >w< thy doom; -;;w;; And in thy best considewation c-check -This hideous washnyess. Answew my wife my judgment, -Thy youngest daughtew does n-nyot wove thee w-weast, -Nyow awe those e-empty-heawted whose wow >_> sound -Wevewbs nyo howwownyess. -Weaw. Kent, o-on ^-^ thy wife, n-nyo m-mowe! -Kent. My wife I nyevew hewd but as a *cries* pawn -T-To w-wage against thinye enyemies; nyow feaw *sighs* to wose OwO it, -Thy safety being the motive. -^-^ Weaw. O-Out of my *looks away* sight! -*giggles shyly* Kent. See bettew, Weaw, and wet me s-stiww *pokes you* wemain -The twue bwank *twerks* of thinye eye. -*cries* Weaw. Nyow *twerks* by Apowwo- -Kent. Nyow by Apowwo, King, -Thou sweaw'st thy *twerks* gods in vain. -Weaw. O vassaw! miscweant! -[-[Ways his *pokes you* hand on his >w< swowd.] -Awb., Cown. Deaw siw, OwO fowbeaw! -Kent. >_< Do! -Kiww t-thy physician, and the fee bestow ->_> Upon the fouw disease. Wevoke t-thy gift, -*leans over* Ow, whiwst I can vent cwamouw fwom my thwoat, -I'ww teww *giggles shyly* thee thou dost eviw. -Weaw. *cuddles you* Heaw me, *hugs tightly* wecweant! -On thinye awwegiance, heaw me! -uWu Since thou xDD hast sought to make us bweak ouw vow- -Which w-we d-duwst nyevew yet- and w-with stwain'd *looks at you* pwide -To c-come between *hugs tightly* ouw s-sentence and ouw powew,- -Which n-nyow ouw nyatuwe *notices bulge* nyow ouw pwace can beaw,- -Ouw potency made good, take thy wewawd. -Five days we do awwot thee fow *cuddles you* pwovision -:33 To shiewd thee fwom diseases of the wowwd, -And *looks away* on t-the sixth to tuwn t-thy ^.^ hated *shuffles closer* back -Upon ouw kingdom. If, *leans over* on the t-tenth day fowwowing, -Thy banyish'd twunk be found in ouw dominyions, -The moment is thy death. Away! *leans over* By Jupitew, -This s-shaww nyot be wevok'd. -Kent. Fawe thee weww, King. Since thus thou OwO wiwt appeaw, -F-Fweedom wives hence, and banyishment is hewe. -[To Cowdewia] The gods to theiw deaw s-shewtew ;;w;; take thee, m-maid, -That justwy t-think'st and h-hast most wightwy said! -*screams* [To Wegan and Gonyewiw] *looks away* And youw wawge speeches *twerks* may youw deeds -appwove, -That g-good effects may spwing fwom wowds of wove. -Thus Kent, O UwU pwinces, bids you aww a-adieu; -He'ww shape his owd *leans over* couwse in a countwy nyew. -Exit. - -;;w;; Fwouwish. Entew Gwoucestew, w-with *looks away* Fwance and *screams* Buwgundy; Attendants. - -Gwou. Hewe's Fwance and xDD Buwgundy, my nyobwe wowd. -Weaw. My Wowd of Buwgundy, -We fiwst addwess towawd you, who *screams* with this king -Hath wivaww'd fow ouw daughtew. What in the weast -Wiww you wequiwe in pwesent d-dowew with hew, -Ow *teleports behind you* cease youw quest *moans* of wove? -Buw. Most woyaw Majesty, -I c-cwave nyo mowe than hath youw Highnyess offew'd, -*screams* Nyow wiww you tendew wess. -Weaw. W-Wight nyobwe Buwgundy, -When she was deaw to us, we d-did howd hew x3 so; -B-But nyow hew pwice is faww'n. Siw, thewe she stands. -x3 If aught within that wittwe *notices bulge* seeming substance, -*moans* Ow a-aww of it, with ouw dispweasuwe piec'd, -OwO And nyothing mowe, may fitwy wike ^-^ youw Gwace, -She's thewe, and she is youws. -Buw. *moans* I knyow *sighs* nyo answew. -Weaw. Wiww you, with *looks at you* those i-infiwmities *notices bulge* she o-owes, -Unfwiended, nyew adopted to ouw hate, -x3 Dow'w'd with ouw *leans over* cuwse, and stwangew'd with *giggles shyly* ouw oath, -Take hew, ow weave hew? -^.^ Buw. Pawdon me, w-woyaw siw. -Ewection makes nyot up o-on such conditions. -W-Weaw. T-Then weave h-hew, siw; fow, by the pow'w t-that made me, -I teww you a-aww hew weawth. [To F-Fwance] Fow you, gweat King, -I wouwd nyot f-fwom youw w-wove ^.^ make such a-a stway -To match you whewe I hate; thewefowe beseech you -T' avewt youw w-wiking a mowe wowthiew way -Than on a wwetch whom nyatuwe is asham'd -Awmost t' acknyowwedge hews. -Fwance. *sighs* This is most stwange, -That she t-that even *shuffles closer* but nyow was *twerks* youw best object, -T-The awgument of youw *cuddles you* pwaise, bawm of y-youw age, -M-Most *looks at you* best, most deawest, shouwd in this twice of t-time -Commit a-a thing so monstwous to dismantwe -*notices bulge* So many fowds of favouw. Suwe hew offence -*cries* Must be of such *giggles shyly* unnyatuwaw *shuffles closer* degwee -uWu That monstews it, ow youw fowe-vouch'd affection -Faww'n into t-taint; which to bewieve of hew -Must be a *hugs tightly* faith that weason without miwacwe -Shouwd nyevew pwant uWu in me. -Cow. I yet beseech *teleports behind you* youw Majesty, -If f-fow I want that gwib and oiwy awt -To speak and puwpose nyot, since w-what I-I weww intend, -I'ww do't befowe I >w< speak- that you make *cuddles you* knyown -It is nyo vicious b-bwot, muwthew, ^-^ ow >w< fouwnyess, -Nyo u-unchaste action ow *looks away* dishonyouwed OwO step, -That hath depwiv'd me of youw gwace and favouw; -But even fow want of that fow which I-I am *pokes you* wichew- -A stiww-sowiciting eye, and such a tongue -*pokes you* As ^-^ I am gwad I have nyot, though nyot to have it -Hath w-wost me in youw wiking. -^.^ Weaw. B-Bettew thou -Hadst nyot been bown than >w< nyot t-t' *notices bulge* have pweas'd me bettew. -Fwance. Is it >_> but this- a-a *sighs* tawdinyess in nyatuwe -Which often weaves the *shuffles closer* histowy unspoke -xDD That i-it >_> intends to *blushes* do? My Wowd of Buwgundy, -What say you t-to the wady? Wove's *moans* nyot wove -When it is mingwed *pokes you* with *notices bulge* wegawds that stands -A-Awoof fwom th' entiwe *giggles shyly* point. Wiww y-you have hew? -She is h-hewsewf a *pokes you* dowwy. -Buw. Woyaw Weaw, -Give :33 but that powtion which youwsewf p-pwopos'd, -And hewe I take Cowdewia by *blushes* the hand, -*screams* Duchess *looks away* of Buwgundy. -Weaw. Nyothing! I have swown; I UwU am f-fiwm. -Buw. I am *twerks* sowwy then you have so ;;w;; wost a fathew -That you must w-wose a-a husband. -C-Cow. Peace be with Buwgundy! -Since that wespects *notices bulge* of >_> fowtunye *hugs tightly* awe x3 his wove, -I ;;w;; shaww nyot be his wife. -Fwance. F-Faiwest Cowdewia, t-that awt most wich, being poow; -Most choice, fowsaken; and most wov'd, d-despis'd! -Thee *pokes you* and thy viwtues hewe I-I seize ^-^ upon. -Be it wawfuw I take u-up what's cast a-away. -Gods, gods! 'tis stwange t-that fwom theiw cowd'st nyegwect -My wove shouwd kindwe to infwam'd wespect. -Thy *sweats* dow'wwess daughtew, King, thwown xDD to *sighs* my chance, -Is *looks at you* queen of *looks at you* us, of ouws, and ouw faiw Fwance. -*sighs* Nyot aww the dukes in wat'wish Buwgundy -C-Can buy t-this u-unpwiz'd p-pwecious maid of me. -Bid them faweweww, Cowdewia, t-though unkind. -Thou wosest hewe, a bettew whewe to find. -*notices bulge* Weaw. Thou h-hast hew, Fwance; wet hew be thinye; fow we -Have nyo such daughtew, >w< nyow shaww evew see -*screams* That face of hews again. Thewefowe b-be gonye -Without ouw gwace, ouw wove, ouw benyison. -*cuddles you* Come, nyobwe Buwgundy. -F-Fwouwish. Exeunt Weaw, Buwgundy, [Cownwaww, Awbany, -Gwoucestew, and Attendants]. -Fwance. Bid faweweww to youw sistews. -^.^ Cow. >w< The jewews of ouw ;;w;; fathew, with wash'd eyes -^.^ Cowdewia weaves you. I knyow you what you awe; -And, wike a sistew, *sighs* am most uWu woath t-to caww -Youw fauwts a-as they awe x3 nyam'd. Use weww ouw fathew. -To youw *looks away* pwofessed bosoms I commit h-him; -But *looks away* yet, awas, stood I within his gwace, -I w-wouwd UwU pwefew him to a bettew pwace! -So faweweww to you b-both. -Gon. Pwescwibe *moans* nyot us ouw duties. -Weg. W-Wet youw study -Be to *twerks* content youw wowd, w-who hath weceiv'd *screams* you -At fowtunye's >w< awms. You have obedience scanted, -And weww awe wowth t-the want that you have wanted. -Cow. Time shaww unfowd what *sighs* pwighted cunnying hides. -W-Who *screams* covew fauwts, at wast shame them dewides. -Weww may you p-pwospew! -Fwance. Come, my *moans* faiw Cowdewia. -Exeunt Fwance ^w^ and *blushes* Cowdewia. -Gon. Sistew, it is nyot wittwe I h-have t-to say o-of w-what most nyeawwy -appewtains t-to u-us b-both. I think ouw UwU fathew wiww hence to-nyight. -*cuddles you* Weg. That's m-most cewtain, *cuddles you* and with you; nyext *leans over* month *leans over* with us. -Gon. You xDD see how f-fuww *shuffles closer* of changes his age is. The o-obsewvation we -have made of it hath nyot b-been >_> wittwe. He awways wov'd *shuffles closer* ouw -sistew most, and with what poow judgment he hath nyow cast hew -off appeaws too gwosswy. -OwO Weg. 'Tis the infiwmity of his *pokes you* age; yet he hath evew >_< but swendewwy -knyown himsewf. -Gon. The best and *leans over* soundest of *hugs tightly* his time hath been but wash; then -must w-we UwU wook t-to w-weceive fwom his age, nyot awonye the -impewfections of wong-ingwaffed condition, *leans over* but thewewithaw -*notices bulge* the unwuwy >_> waywawdnyess that *pokes you* infiwm a-and chowewic yeaws bwing with -them. -Weg. Such u-unconstant stawts awe we wike to ^-^ have fwom him as >_< this -of K-Kent's *twerks* banyishment. -G-Gon. Thewe is fuwthew compwiment of weave-taking between Fwance and -him. Pway you wet's hit togethew. >w< If ^w^ ouw fathew cawwy authowity -with such dispositions as he *blushes* beaws, t-this wast suwwendew of his -wiww but offend us. -Weg. We shaww fuwthew think on't. -Gon. OwO We must >_> do *moans* something, a-and i' th' heat. -xDD Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -The Eaww of Gwoucestew's *teleports behind you* Castwe. - -Entew [Edmund the] Bastawd sowus, :3 [with a wettew]. - -Edm. Thou, Nyatuwe, a-awt my *cuddles you* goddess; :3 to thy waw -My s-sewvices >w< awe bound. *twerks* Whewefowe shouwd I -Stand in the p-pwague of custom, and pewmit -The *twerks* cuwiosity of *sighs* nyations to depwive x3 me, -F-Fow that I am some twewve ow fouwteen :3 moonshinyes -Wag :3 of a bwothew? Why bastawd? whewefowe base? -When my dimensions awe as w-weww UwU compact, -My m-mind ^.^ as genyewous, a-and m-my :33 shape as twue, -As :33 honyest madam's issue? Why bwand t-they us -With base? with basenyess? bastawdy? base, base? -Who, in the wusty s-steawth uWu of nyatuwe, take -Mowe composition and f-fiewce quawity -Than doth, w-within a-a duww, stawe, tiwed bed, -Go to th' cweating a whowe twibe of f-fops -Got 'tween asweep *blushes* and wake? :3 Weww then, -Wegitimate Edgaw, I ;;w;; must have *giggles shyly* youw wand. -Ouw f-fathew's :3 wove is to the bastawd E-Edmund -UwU As *teleports behind you* to ^w^ th' wegitimate. Finye wowd- 'wegitimate'! -Weww, my wegitimate, i-if t-this wettew s-speed, -And my invention *leans over* thwive, E-Edmund the base -Shaww top *giggles shyly* th' wegitimate. I gwow; I pwospew. -Nyow, gods, s-stand up fow b-bastawds! - -Entew Gwoucestew. - -G-Gwou. >_< Kent banyish'd thus? :3 and F-Fwance in c-chowew pawted? -And the King gonye to-nyight? subscwib'd his pow'w? -Confin'd t-to exhibition? Aww this d-donye -Upon the gad? Edmund, how n-nyow? What nyews? -*hugs tightly* Edm. S-So pwease youw wowdship, nyonye. -[Puts up the wettew.] -Gwou. W-Why so eawnyestwy seek you to put UwU up ^-^ that x3 wettew? -E-Edm. I knyow nyo nyews, my wowd. -Gwou. What papew wewe you weading? -Edm. Nyothing, my wowd. -Gwou. Nyo? What nyeeded then t-that tewwibwe dispatch of :33 it into youw -pocket? The quawity of n-nyothing ^.^ hath nyot such nyeed t-to hide ->w< itsewf. Wet's see. Come, if it be nyothing, I shaww nyot nyeed -*looks at you* spectacwes. -Edm. I b-beseech you, siw, pawdon me. It i-is a xDD wettew fwom my b-bwothew -that I have nyot *hugs tightly* aww o'ew-wead; and fow so much >w< as I have -pewus'd, I find it nyot fit fow youw o'ewwooking. -*shuffles closer* Gwou. G-Give me the w-wettew, siw. -Edm. I *cuddles you* shaww offend, eithew to detain ow g-give it. The contents, *sweats* as -in *leans over* pawt I undewstand them, awe to bwame. -G-Gwou. Wet's see, wet's see! -Edm. I h-hope, fow my bwothew's j-justification, he *sighs* wwote this *notices bulge* but as -an essay ow taste *blushes* of my viwtue. - -Gwou. (weads) 'This *cries* powicy and wevewence of age m-makes the w-wowwd -b-bittew to the best of ouw times; k-keeps ouw fowtunyes *sighs* fwom us -tiww ouw o-owdnyess cannyot wewish them. I b-begin to find *sighs* an idwe -and *cries* fond bondage in the oppwession of aged *shuffles closer* tywanny, *hugs tightly* who sways, -n-nyot as UwU it hath powew, *looks at you* but as it is suffew'd. Come to me, *cuddles you* that -of *looks at you* this ^w^ I may speak mowe. If ouw fathew wouwd s-sweep tiww I -wak'd him, y-you s-shouwd enjoy hawf his wevenyue fow *hugs tightly* evew, and wive -the bewoved of y-youw bwothew, -'-'EDGAW.' - -uWu Hum! Conspiwacy? :33 'Sweep tiww I wak'd him, :33 you shouwd *giggles shyly* enjoy hawf -his wevenyue.' My son Edgaw! Had >_> he a hand t-to wwite this? a h-heawt -and b-bwain to bweed i-it *pokes you* in? When *cuddles you* came this to you? Who bwought it? -E-Edm. It was nyot bwought me, my w-wowd: thewe's the *sighs* cunnying of xDD it. I -f-found it thwown in :3 at the casement of my c-cwoset. -Gwou. You knyow t-the c-chawactew t-to b-be youw bwothew's? -Edm. I-If the mattew wewe good, my w-wowd, I-I d-duwst sweaw it wewe *pokes you* his; -but UwU in wespect o-of *screams* that, I wouwd fain think it wewe n-nyot. -Gwou. It is his. -Edm. It is his hand, >_< my wowd; *teleports behind you* but I hope his heawt is *hugs tightly* nyot >_< in t-the -contents. -Gwou. Hath he nyevew befowe *notices bulge* sounded you i-in t-this b-businyess? -*cries* Edm. Nyevew, my wowd. ;;w;; But I have heawd him oft maintain *notices bulge* it to be fit -that, sons at pewfect age, and *screams* fathews decwinying, the fathew -shouwd be as *screams* wawd to the son, and *looks at you* the *notices bulge* son manyage ^.^ his wevenyue. -Gwou. O-O viwwain, viwwain! His *sweats* vewy opinyion in the w-wettew! Abhowwed -*shuffles closer* viwwain! Unnyatuwaw, detested, bwutish viwwain! wowse than -bwutish! Go, :3 siwwah, *leans over* seek him. I'ww *blushes* appwehend h-him. A-Abominyabwe -viwwain! Whewe is he? -Edm. I *blushes* do nyot weww knyow, my wowd. If *cuddles you* it s-shaww pwease you to suspend -youw indignyation against m-my b-bwothew *sighs* tiww you can dewive fwom him -bettew testimony of *teleports behind you* his intent, you shouwd wun a cewtain c-couwse; -w-whewe, if you :3 viowentwy pwoceed against h-him, mistaking his -puwpose, it wouwd make a gweat gap in youw own honyouw ^w^ and shake -i-in pieces the heawt x3 of *sighs* his obedience. I dawe pawn down my wife -fow him that h-he hath w-wwit t-this to feew *sighs* my affection to youw -honyouw, *sweats* and to nyo o-othew pwetence of dangew. -Gwou. Think you so? -Edm. If youw *giggles shyly* honyouw judge it meet, I w-wiww pwace y-you whewe you s-shaww -*blushes* heaw us confew of this and by an auwicuwaw assuwance have youw -satisfaction, and that without any f-fuwthew deway than this vewy -evenying. -Gwou. He *cuddles you* cannyot b-be such a monstew. -Edm. Nyow is nyot, s-suwe. -Gwou. T-To his fathew, t-that so *shuffles closer* tendewwy and entiwewy woves him. -Heaven and *leans over* eawth! E-Edmund, OwO seek him out; wind me into *cries* him, I pway -you; fwame *looks at you* the businyess aftew youw *giggles shyly* own wisdom. I-I w-wouwd *cuddles you* unstate -*blushes* mysewf to b-be in a due wesowution. -Edm. I wiww >_< seek :33 him, siw, pwesentwy; convey >_< the ;;w;; businyess as I-I -s-shaww find means, ;;w;; and acquaint you w-withaw. -Gwou. These wate ecwipses in the sun and moon *pokes you* powtend nyo good to -us. T-Though the wisdom of nyatuwe *cuddles you* can w-weason it thus and thus, yet -uWu nyatuwe finds itsewf OwO scouwg'd by the sequent effects. ;;w;; Wove c-coows, -fwiendship fawws off, *looks at you* bwothews :3 divide. In cities, mutinyies; in -countwies, *giggles shyly* discowd; in pawaces, tweason; and the uWu bond *leans over* cwack'd -'twixt son and fathew. This viwwain of minye comes undew the -pwediction; thewe's son ^w^ against fathew: the King fawws *sighs* fwom bias -of nyatuwe; thewe's fathew xDD against chiwd. W-We h-have *hugs tightly* seen the best -o-of ouw time. M-Machinyations, howwownyess, tweachewy, and aww -wuinyous disowdews fowwow *leans over* us *notices bulge* disquietwy to ouw gwaves. Find out -this *sighs* viwwain, Edmund; it >w< shaww w-wose thee nyothing; d-do it -cawefuwwy. And the n-nyobwe and twue-heawted Kent banyish'd! *shuffles closer* his -offence, *cuddles you* honyesty! 'Tis s-stwange. Exit. -*moans* Edm. This is t-the excewwent foppewy of the wowwd, that, when we awe -s-sick in fowtunye, often the suwfeit >_< of ouw own behaviouw, we make -guiwty of ouw disastews the sun, uWu the moon, and the staws; as if -w-we wewe viwwains on nyecessity; *twerks* foows by heavenwy compuwsion; -k-knyaves, thieves, and *blushes* tweachews by sphewicaw pwe-dominyance; -dwunkawds, wiaws, a-and aduwtewews by *cries* an enfowc'd obedience o-of -pwanyetawy infwuence; a-and aww that we awe eviw *hugs tightly* in, by a d-divinye -thwusting on. An admiwabwe evasion of whowe-mastew man, t-to way -his goatish disposition to the chawge of a staw! My fathew -compounded with my x3 mothew undew the Dwagon's uWu Taiw, and my -nyativity was undew Uwsa Majow, so that :33 it fowwows I am wough and -wechewous. Fut! I s-shouwd *giggles shyly* have been that I-I OwO am, *pokes you* had the -maidenwiest staw *notices bulge* in the fiwmament twinkwed on *cries* my bastawdizing. -E-Edgaw- - -Entew Edgaw. - -*pokes you* and :33 pat! he comes, wike the catastwophe of t-the o-owd comedy. My -*screams* cue *looks away* is viwwainyous ^w^ mewanchowy, with a sigh wike Tom x3 o' Bedwam. -O, these ecwipses do powtend these divisions! Fa, sow, *twerks* wa, mi. -Edg. How nyow, bwothew Edmund? What sewious contempwation awe you -in? -Edm. I >_< am thinking, bwothew, of a *shuffles closer* pwediction I wead this othew day, -what shouwd fowwow these ecwipses. -Edg. Do you b-busy ^.^ youwsewf with that? -:3 Edm. I-I *teleports behind you* pwomise *moans* you, the e-effects he wwites of *looks at you* succeed unhappiwy: as -*hugs tightly* of unnyatuwawnyess between OwO the c-chiwd a-and the pawent; death, -deawth, dissowutions *sweats* of a-ancient amities; divisions in state, -menyaces a-and mawedictions against king and nyobwes; nyeedwess -diffidences, banyishment of fwiends, dissipation of cohowts, -nyuptiaw bweaches, and I *cries* knyow nyot what. -E-Edg. How wong have you been a sectawy astwonyomicaw? -Edm. Come, come! When saw you m-my fathew wast? -Edg. The x3 nyight g-gonye by. -Edm. Spake you :3 with h-him? -Edg. Ay, two houws togethew. -Edm. Pawted you in good tewms? Found y-you nyo dispweasuwe *shuffles closer* in him by -wowd ow countenyance -^-^ Edg. Nyonye at a-aww. -Edm. Bethink *teleports behind you* youwsewf *twerks* whewein you *sweats* may have *cries* offended >w< him; >_> and at my -entweaty fowbeaw his pwesence u-untiw some >w< wittwe t-time hath -quawified the heat of his dispweasuwe, which at this instant so -wageth in h-him that with the mischief of youw pewson *pokes you* it wouwd -scawcewy awway. -Edg. Some viwwain hath donye me :3 wwong. -Edm. That's my feaw. I pway y-you have a continyent fowbeawance tiww -the speed of h-his wage goes swowew; and, as I say, wetiwe :3 with me -to *blushes* my wodging, fwom whence *looks at you* I wiww fitwy bwing you to heaw my -wowd speak. Pway ye, xDD go! *teleports behind you* Thewe's my key. If you do stiw abwoad, -go *moans* awm'd. -Edg. A-Awm'd, bwothew? -Edm. Bwothew, I advise y-you to the best. UwU Go awm'd. I *teleports behind you* am nyo h-honyest man -*blushes* if thewe be any *shuffles closer* good m-meanying towawd you. *blushes* I have towd you what I -have ^.^ seen a-and heawd; but faintwy, nyothing wike the image *hugs tightly* and -howwow *looks at you* of it. Pway you, away! -Edg. Shaww I h-heaw fwom you a-anyon? -*giggles shyly* Edm. I do sewve you in t-this businyess. -E-Exit Edgaw. -*hugs tightly* A cweduwous fathew! ^.^ and a bwothew nyobwe, -Whose nyatuwe is so f-faw fwom :33 doing hawms -That h-he suspects nyonye; on whose foowish h-honyesty -My *teleports behind you* pwactices wide easy! I see the ^w^ businyess. -Wet me, if nyot by b-biwth, have wands by wit; -Aww w-with me's *hugs tightly* meet that I can fashion fit. -E-Exit. - - - - -Scenye III. -The Duke of Awbany's Pawace. - -Entew Gonyewiw and [hew] Stewawd [Oswawd]. - -Gon. Did my fathew *pokes you* stwike my g-gentweman fow chiding of h-his *teleports behind you* foow? -Osw. Ay, madam. -Gon. By day and nyight, uWu he wwongs m-me! Evewy houw -He *blushes* fwashes into onye gwoss cwime ow othew -That sets ^-^ us aww at odds. I'ww nyot e-enduwe i-it. -*hugs tightly* His knyights *giggles shyly* gwow wiotous, and himsewf upbwaids us -On e-evewy twifwe. *blushes* When he wetuwns fwom hunting, -I wiww uWu nyot s-speak with him. S-Say *cries* I am sick. -If *pokes you* you come swack of fowmew sewvices, -You shaww do weww; the fauwt of it I'ww answew. -[Howns *looks at you* within.] -*hugs tightly* Osw. H-He's coming, madam; I *sighs* heaw him. -Gon. Put o-on w-what weawy nyegwigence y-you pwease, -You ;;w;; and youw fewwows. I'd have it OwO come to question. -I-If he distaste it, ;;w;; wet him to ouw sistew, -Whose mind and minye I k-knyow i-in that awe onye, -N-Nyot t-to be ovewwuw'd. I-Idwe owd man, -That stiww wouwd manyage those authowities -That he *giggles shyly* hath given a-away! Nyow, b-by my >w< wife, -Owd foows awe babes again, a-and must be us'd -With checks as fwattewies, when they a-awe seen abus'd. -Wemembew w-what I have said. -Osw. Vewy weww, m-madam. -Gon. And wet his knyights *giggles shyly* have cowdew wooks among you. -What gwows *pokes you* of it, nyo OwO mattew. Advise youw fewwows so. -I wouwd b-bweed fwom *moans* hence occasions, and I s-shaww, -That *cuddles you* I may speak. I'ww *leans over* wwite stwaight t-to my sistew -To howd my ;;w;; vewy couwse. Pwepawe f-fow dinnyew. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye I-IV. -T-The Duke of Awbany's P-Pawace. - -Entew Kent, [disguised]. - -Kent. If but *giggles shyly* as weww I othew accents bowwow, -*blushes* That can my *hugs tightly* speech defuse, my good intent -May c-cawwy thwough itsewf to xDD that fuww issue -Fow which *teleports behind you* I waz'd my wikenyess. Nyow, banyish'd Kent, -If t-thou canst sewve whewe thou dost s-stand condemn'd, -So may it come, thy mastew, *looks away* whom thou w-wov'st, -S-Shaww find *hugs tightly* thee fuww o-of *pokes you* wabouws. - -Howns within. Entew W-Weaw, >w< [Knyights,] and Attendants. - -Weaw. Wet me nyot stay a *teleports behind you* jot *cuddles you* fow dinnyew; go get it :3 weady. [Exit -an Attendant.] How n-nyow? What awt x3 thou? -Kent. A man, siw. -Weaw. What dost thou pwofess? What *cries* wouwdst thou with u-us? -Kent. *moans* I do pwofess to be *hugs tightly* nyo wess than I seem, *screams* to sewve him twuwy -that wiww put me in twust, to wove him that is honyest, to -convewse with him that is w-wise and says wittwe, to feaw -judgment, to fight ;;w;; when I cannyot choose, and to uWu eat *looks at you* nyo fish. -Weaw. *moans* What *notices bulge* awt thou? -Kent. A vewy honyest-heawted fewwow, and as poow as t-the King. -Weaw. If thou be'st as poow fow a x3 subject as he's fow *moans* a king, thou -awt poow enyough. *blushes* What wouwdst thou? -Kent. Sewvice. -Weaw. Who wouwdst thou sewve? -Kent. You. -Weaw. Dost thou knyow me, xDD fewwow? -Kent. N-Nyo, s-siw; but you h-have that in youw countenyance which I wouwd -fain uWu caww m-mastew. -Weaw. What's that? -Kent. Authowity. -Weaw. What sewvices *hugs tightly* canst *leans over* thou do? -Kent. I can keep honyest counsew, ^w^ wide, wun, maw a cuwious *notices bulge* tawe i-in -tewwing it a-and dewivew a p-pwain message bwuntwy. T-That which -owdinyawy men a-awe fit fow, I-I am q-quawified in, a-and t-the b-best of me -is diwigence. -Weaw. How ^w^ owd awt thou? -Kent. Nyot so young, siw, to wove a :3 woman *looks away* fow singing, nyow s-so owd to -dote on hew f-fow anything. I have UwU yeaws on my back fowty-eight. -Weaw. Fowwow me; thou shawt sewve me. If I wike thee nyo wowse aftew -dinnyew, I w-wiww nyot pawt *hugs tightly* fwom t-thee yet. *screams* Dinnyew, ho, dinnyew! -*teleports behind you* Whewe's my OwO knyave? my foow? *teleports behind you* Go you *blushes* and caww my *notices bulge* foow hithew. - -[Exit a-an attendant.] - -Entew [Oswawd the] *moans* Stewawd. - -You, y-you, siwwah, whewe's my daughtew? -Osw. :33 So pwease you- Exit. -Weaw. What says the *twerks* fewwow t-thewe? Caww t-the *blushes* cwotpoww back. -[Exit a-a K-Knyight.] Whewe's my foow, ho? I think the wowwd's -asweep. - -[Entew Knyight] - -How nyow? *sweats* Whewe's that ^.^ mongwew? -K-Knyight. He says, my wowd, youw d-daughtew i-is nyot >_< weww. -*blushes* Weaw. Why came nyot the s-swave back to m-me *pokes you* when I caww'd him? -Knyight. Siw, he answewed me i-in the woundest mannyew, he wouwd nyot. -Weaw. He wouwd nyot? -Knyight. M-My wowd, I knyow nyot what the m-mattew *screams* is; but to my judgment -y-youw Highnyess is nyot *pokes you* entewtain'd with that cewemonyious affection -*pokes you* as y-you *hugs tightly* wewe *sighs* wont. Thewe's a-a gweat ;;w;; abatement of kindnyess appeaws -as w-weww in >w< the genyewaw dependants a-as i-in the D-Duke h-himsewf awso -and youw daughtew. -Weaw. Ha! *blushes* say'st thou so? -*looks away* Knyight. I *looks away* beseech you pawdon me, my wowd, if I be mistaken; fow -:3 my duty cannyot be siwent when OwO I ^-^ think youw Highnyess wwong'd. -Weaw. Thou *leans over* but wememb'west m-me of minye own conception. I *leans over* have -pewceived a most ^.^ faint nyegwect of wate, which I have wathew -bwamed as minye o-own >_< jeawous cuwiosity t-than as a vewy pwetence -and :3 puwpose of unkindnyess. I-I wiww *cries* wook fuwthew into't. B-But -w-whewe's my f-foow? I have nyot seen him this two days. -Knyight. S-Since my young wady's g-going into Fwance, siw, the foow -hath much *looks away* pinyed away. -W-Weaw. Nyo mowe of ^w^ that; I have nyoted *teleports behind you* it w-weww. Go y-you and teww my -daughtew I-I wouwd speak w-with h-hew. [Exit Knyight.] Go you, caww -hithew my foow. -*cuddles you* [Exit an Attendant.] - -Entew [Oswawd the] Stewawd. - -O, you, s-siw, you! Come you hithew, ;;w;; siw. W-Who am I, siw? -Osw. My *teleports behind you* wady's fathew. -Weaw. 'My wady's fathew'? My *blushes* wowd's knyave! *twerks* You *cuddles you* whoweson dog! *hugs tightly* you -s-swave! you cuw! -Osw. I *notices bulge* am nyonye of these, my wowd; I beseech youw pawdon. -Weaw. Do you bandy wooks with me, you w-wascaw? -[Stwikes him.] -Osw. I'ww n-nyot be stwucken, my w-wowd. -Kent. Nyow twipp'd nyeithew, you base footbaww pwayew? -[Twips up h-his heews. -*sighs* Weaw. I thank thee, fewwow. Thou sewv'st me, *sweats* and I'ww wove thee. -K-Kent. Come, siw, awise, away! I'ww *twerks* teach you diffewences. Away, -away! If you wiww measuwe youw :3 wubbew's wength uWu again, tawwy; but -away! Go to! Have you wisdom? So. -[Pushes him out.] -Weaw. Nyow, m-my f-fwiendwy knyave, I thank thee. Thewe's eawnyest *twerks* of thy -:33 sewvice. *teleports behind you* [Gives monyey.] - -Entew Foow. - -Foow. W-Wet me hiwe him too. xDD Hewe's my coxcomb. -[-[Offews Kent UwU his ^w^ cap.] -Weaw. How nyow, my pwetty knyave? How d-dost thou? -Foow. Siwwah, you w-wewe *looks away* best take my *leans over* coxcomb. -Kent. Why, foow? -Foow. Why? Fow t-taking onye's pawt that's out of favouw. Nyay, an thou -*sighs* canst nyot s-smiwe ^w^ as the wind ^.^ sits, t-thou'wt catch cowd showtwy. -*twerks* Thewe, *screams* take my coxcomb! Why, t-this fewwow hath banyish'd t-two on's -daughtews, and did t-the thiwd a-a bwessing against his wiww. I-If -thou fowwow him, t-thou *looks away* must nyeeds weaw my c-coxcomb.- How nyow, -nyuncwe? Wouwd I had two *twerks* coxcombs and two daughtews! -Weaw. Why, my boy? -Foow. If I gave them aww my wiving, I'wd keep m-my coxcombs mysewf. -Thewe's minye! b-beg anyothew of >w< thy *sighs* daughtews. -Weaw. Take h-heed, siwwah- the whip. -Foow. *looks away* Twuth's a dog must ^-^ to kennyew; he must be whipp'd out, *cries* when -Wady the b-bwach *looks away* may stand b-by th' fiwe and *leans over* stink. -Weaw. A uWu pestiwent gaww to m-me! -Foow. Siwwah, I'ww teach thee a ^w^ speech. -Weaw. D-Do. -Foow. Mawk *giggles shyly* it, nyuncwe. -Have mowe than thou showest, -Speak wess t-than thou knyowest, -*moans* Wend wess than thou owest, -Wide mowe than OwO thou goest, -Weawn mowe x3 than thou twowest, -Set wess than thou thwowest; -Weave thy dwink *notices bulge* and thy whowe, -And keep i-in-a-doow, -And thou shawt >w< have mowe -Than two t-tens to a scowe. -Kent. xDD This is nyothing, foow. -Foow. Then >w< 'tis wike the b-bweath *hugs tightly* of an unfeed w-wawyew- >_> you gave me -nyothing fow't. C-Can you make nyo use *sweats* of nyothing, nyuncwe? -Weaw. Why, n-nyo, xDD boy. N-Nyothing can b-be made out *hugs tightly* of nyothing. -Foow. [to K-Kent] Pwithee teww him, so m-much the went of his wand -comes to. He wiww ^.^ nyot bewieve a foow. -Weaw. A b-bittew foow! -F-Foow. Dost UwU thou knyow the diffewence, m-my boy, between a bittew -foow ^-^ and a sweet foow? -Weaw. *sighs* Nyo, wad; teach me. -F-Foow. *shuffles closer* That wowd that counseww'd thee -To *teleports behind you* give away thy wand, -Come pwace him *leans over* hewe by m-me- -x3 Do thou fow him stand. -The sweet and bittew foow -Wiww p-pwesentwy *blushes* appeaw; -The onye in motwey hewe, -;;w;; The othew found out thewe. -W-Weaw. Dost thou caww me foow, boy? -Foow. Aww thy othew titwes thou hast given away; t-that thou w-wast -bown with. -Kent. This is nyot awtogethew foow, *shuffles closer* my wowd. -Foow. Nyo, faith; wowds a-and gweat *pokes you* men wiww nyot *hugs tightly* wet me. If I had a -monyopowy out, they wouwd have pawt on't. *cries* And wadies too, they -wiww nyot *looks at you* wet me *teleports behind you* have aww the f-foow to mysewf; t-they'ww b-be -*moans* snyatching. Give m-me an egg, nyuncwe, a-and I'ww *giggles shyly* give *cries* thee two -c-cwowns. -:3 Weaw. W-What two cwowns shaww they be? -Foow. ^w^ Why, aftew I have cut the egg i' th' middwe and eat up the -*twerks* meat, the two cwowns of t-the egg. When thou cwovest thy *screams* cwown i-i' -t-th' middwe and gav'st away both pawts, t-thou bow'st OwO thinye ass on -thy back o'ew *sweats* the d-diwt. T-Thou hadst wittwe w-wit in thy b-bawd cwown -when thou gav'st thy gowden o-onye away. If I speak wike *blushes* mysewf ^w^ in -this, *cries* wet him be ^w^ whipp'd *shuffles closer* that fiwst finds it so. - -[Sings] Foows had nye'ew wess gwace *sighs* in a yeaw, -*hugs tightly* Fow wise men awe gwown *screams* foppish; -They knyow nyot how theiw :33 wits to weaw, -Theiw >w< mannyews awe so a-apish. - -Weaw. W-When w-wewe you wont to be s-so fuww of songs, s-siwwah? -Foow. I-I uWu have u-us'd it, nyuncwe, evew since thou *notices bulge* mad'st thy daughtews -thy mothew; f-fow when thou gav'st them *cuddles you* the >_> wod, and put'st d-down -*notices bulge* thinye *looks away* own :33 bweeches, - -;;w;; [Sings] T-Then they fow sudden joy >_< did weep, -And I *cries* fow sowwow sung, -*sighs* That such a *hugs tightly* king shouwd p-pway bo-peep -And go the foows among. - -Pwithee, nyuncwe, keep *screams* a schoowmastew that can teach thy foow to -wie. I wouwd fain weawn to wie. -x3 Weaw. An you wie, siwwah, we'ww xDD have you whipp'd. -Foow. I mawvew what kin thou and t-thy ^w^ daughtews a-awe. They'ww have me -whipp'd fow speaking t-twue; thou'wt have me whipp'd fow wying; -and s-sometimes I am whipp'd *shuffles closer* fow *looks away* howding my p-peace. I had wathew be -^w^ any kind o' t-thing than a foow! And *moans* yet I wouwd nyot b-be thee, -nyuncwe. uWu Thou hast pawed thy wit o' both sides and weft nyothing -i-i' th' middwe. Hewe c-comes onye ^.^ o' the pawings. - -Entew Gonyewiw. - -Weaw. How nyow, d-daughtew? What makes that f-fwontwet o-on? Methinks you -awe too much *sighs* o' wate i' *looks away* th' fwown. -Foow. T-Thou wast a pwetty fewwow when thou hadst nyo nyeed to cawe fow -hew fwownying. Nyow >w< thou awt a-an O without a :33 figuwe. I am bettew -^.^ than thou awt nyow: *moans* I am a f-foow, thou awt nyothing. -[To Gonyewiw] Yes, fowsooth, I *shuffles closer* wiww howd my tongue. uWu So youw face -bids me, x3 though you say nyothing. Mum, mum! - -*shuffles closer* He that keeps *pokes you* nyow cwust nyow cwum, -Weawy o-of aww, shaww w-want some.- - -[Points xDD at Weaw] That's a sheaw'd peascod. -Gon. Nyot onwy, s-siw, this youw aww-wicens'd foow, -But othew of youw insowent wetinyue -Do *screams* houwwy cawp and q-quawwew, bweaking fowth -In wank a-and nyot-to-be-enduwed wiots. Siw, -I had uWu thought, by making t-this weww knyown unto you, -To have found a safe w-wedwess, but nyow g-gwow feawfuw, -By what UwU youwsewf, too, wate have s-spoke and donye, -That you pwotect this couwse, and put it on -By youw >w< awwowance; *teleports behind you* which if uWu you shouwd, *notices bulge* the fauwt -Wouwd nyot scape censuwe, nyow *looks at you* the wedwesses sweep, -Which, in t-the tendew of a *sweats* whowesome weaw, -Might in t-theiw w-wowking do you that offence -Which ewse wewe shame, that ;;w;; then ^-^ nyecessity -Must caww ^w^ discweet pwoceeding. -Foow. Fow you *shuffles closer* knyow, nyuncwe, - -The hedge-spawwow fed the cuckoo s-so wong -That i-it had it head *cries* bit off by it *giggles shyly* young. - -S-So out w-went the :33 candwe, and we wewe weft dawkwing. -W-Weaw. *sweats* Awe you ouw daughtew? -Gon. C-Come, siw, -I *sighs* wouwd :3 you w-wouwd make use of t-that good *screams* wisdom -Wheweof I knyow you awe fwaught, and put away -These d-dispositions that *looks at you* of wate twansfowm *teleports behind you* you -Fwom what you wightwy awe. -F-Foow. May n-nyot an xDD ass knyow >w< when the cawt d-dwaws the howse? -W-Whoop, Jug, I wove thee! -Weaw. Doth any hewe knyow me? This is nyot W-Weaw. -Doth Weaw w-wawk t-thus? uWu speak thus? Whewe awe *notices bulge* his eyes? -Eithew his nyotion weakens, his discewnyings -Awe wethawgied- Ha! waking? 'Tis nyot s-so! -Who i-is it that c-can teww :33 me who I a-am? -Foow. Weaw's shadow. -Weaw. I wouwd weawn that; fow, by the mawks of soveweignty, -;;w;; Knyowwedge, and weason, I s-shouwd be f-fawse pewsuaded -:3 I h-had d-daughtews. -Foow. Which they wiww make an obedient f-fathew. -Weaw. *giggles shyly* Youw nyame, faiw *pokes you* gentwewoman? -Gon. This admiwation, siw, is much o' th' savouw -UwU Of othew youw *looks away* nyew pwanks. I do beseech *sweats* you -To undewstand *cries* my puwposes awight. -As you awe owd and wevewend, you shouwd b-be wise. -Hewe *shuffles closer* do you keep a hundwed knyights and s-squiwes; -Men >w< so disowdew'd, so debosh'd, and ^.^ bowd -*cries* That *leans over* this ouw couwt, infected with theiw mannyews, -S-Shows wike a >_> wiotous i-inn. Epicuwism and *hugs tightly* wust -:3 Make it mowe wike a t-tavewn o-ow a *cries* bwothew -Than :33 a gwac'd pawace. *giggles shyly* The shame itsewf d-doth s-speak -Fow instant wemedy. Be then desiw'd -By hew that ewse wiww t-take the thing she begs -A wittwe to disquantity youw twain, -And the wemaindew that shaww stiww *looks at you* depend -To *pokes you* be s-such men as m-may besowt youw age, -Which knyow t-themsewves, and you. -Weaw. Dawknyess and deviws! -Saddwe *teleports behind you* my howses! :3 Caww my twain t-togethew! -Degenyewate bastawd, I'ww nyot twoubwe thee; -Yet have I weft a daughtew. -Gon. You stwike my peopwe, and youw d-disowdew'd wabbwe -Make sewvants of theiw *sweats* bettews. - -E-Entew A-Awbany. - -Weaw. Woe that too wate wepents!- O, siw, awe *looks away* you come? -Is *giggles shyly* it youw w-wiww? Speak, siw!- Pwepawe m-my howses. -*hugs tightly* Ingwatitude, thou mawbwe-heawted fiend, -M-Mowe hideous when t-thou show'st thee in *moans* a chiwd -Than the s-sea-monstew! -Awb. Pway, *sweats* siw, be patient. -Weaw. [to Gonyewiw] Detested kite, thou wiest! -My twain awe men of c-choice *cuddles you* and wawest pawts, -That aww pawticuwaws of duty knyow -*cuddles you* And in the most exact wegawd s-suppowt -The wowships of t-theiw n-nyame.- O most smaww f-fauwt, -How ugwy d-didst thou in Cowdewia show! -Which, wike an enginye, wwench'd my fwame of ^.^ nyatuwe -Fwom the fix'd pwace; UwU dwew *sweats* fwom my heawt aww wove -*notices bulge* And *teleports behind you* added to the g-gaww. O-O *hugs tightly* Weaw, Weaw, Weaw! -Beat at this gate that wet thy fowwy in [Stwikes his head.] -And thy uWu deaw judgment out! Go, go, :3 my peopwe. -Awb. My w-wowd, I *looks at you* am guiwtwess, as I am ignyowant -O-Of what h-hath mov'd you. -Weaw. It may be *cries* so, my wowd. -Heaw, Nyatuwe, heaw! deaw goddess, heaw! -Suspend thy puwpose, if *sighs* thou didst intend -To make this *notices bulge* cweatuwe fwuitfuw. -Into hew w-womb convey *twerks* stewiwity; -Dwy up in hew the owgans of *leans over* incwease; -And fwom hew dewogate body nyevew spwing -A *pokes you* babe to *hugs tightly* honyouw hew! If she must *sweats* teem, -Cweate hew c-chiwd of spween, that it may wive -And be a t-thwawt disnyatuw'd towment *cuddles you* to hew. -Wet it stamp wwinkwes in *pokes you* hew b-bwow of youth, -With cadent teaws fwet channyews *moans* in h-hew cheeks, -T-Tuwn a-aww hew uWu mothew's pains a-and benyefits -To :33 waughtew and contempt, that s-she may *sweats* feew -How shawpew than a sewpent's tooth it is -To have a thankwess chiwd! Away, away! Exit. -Awb. Nyow, gods t-that we adowe, wheweof c-comes this? -Gon. N-Nyevew affwict >w< youwsewf to knyow the ^.^ cause; -But wet *blushes* his disposition have that >w< scope -T-That d-dotage gives it. - ->_> Entew Weaw. - -Weaw. What, fifty of my *shuffles closer* fowwowews at a-a cwap? -Within a f-fowtnyight? -Awb. What's t-the *sighs* mattew, siw? -Weaw. I'ww teww t-thee. [-[To Gonyewiw] W-Wife and death! I *pokes you* am *looks away* asham'd -That x3 thou hast powew to shake my manhood thus; -That these *teleports behind you* hot teaws, which bweak f-fwom m-me pewfowce, -Shouwd make thee wowth them. Bwasts and fogs u-upon thee! -Th' uWu untented woundings of a f-fathew's cuwse -Piewce *moans* evewy s-sense *sweats* about *looks away* thee!- Owd fond e-eyes, -Beweep this cause again, I'ww p-pwuck ye out, -:3 And cast you, with the watews that y-you wose, -To tempew cway. Yea, i-is it come to t-this? -Wet it be so. Yet have I weft a daughtew, -Who I *sighs* am suwe ;;w;; is *leans over* kind and comfowtabwe. -When she shaww heaw this o-of thee, with hew nyaiws -She'ww fway t-thy *sighs* wowvish visage. Thou shawt f-find -That I'ww wesume t-the shape w-which thou d-dost think -I have cast o-off *cries* fow e-evew; thou shawt, I wawwant *twerks* thee. -Exeunt [Weaw, Kent, >_< and Attendants]. -Gon. Do you mawk that, my w-wowd? -Awb. I cannyot be so pawtiaw, Gonyewiw, -To the gweat wove I-I ^.^ beaw you - -Gon. Pway y-you, *teleports behind you* content.- What, Oswawd, ho! -[To the Foow] *cuddles you* You, siw, mowe knyave than foow, aftew youw mastew! -F-Foow. Nyuncwe Weaw, nyuncwe Weaw, tawwy! Take the foow with thee. - -A fox when onye has caught h-hew, -OwO And such a daughtew, -Shouwd suwe to the swaughtew, -If my cap wouwd b-buy a hawtew. ->w< So the foow fowwows aftew. *looks away* Exit. -Gon. *leans over* This man *twerks* hath had good *looks at you* counsew! A *cries* hundwed knyights? -'Tis powitic and safe to w-wet him keep -At point a hundwed knyights; yes, that on evewy dweam, -Each buzz, e-each *shuffles closer* fancy, each compwaint, *cuddles you* diswike, -He may enguawd his dotage with theiw pow'ws -And howd ouw wives x3 in m-mewcy.- O-Oswawd, I say! -Awb. Weww, *cuddles you* you may feaw too faw. -*leans over* Gon. Safew than ;;w;; twust too faw. -^-^ Wet me stiww take away t-the *screams* hawms I-I feaw, -Nyot feaw stiww to b-be taken. *cries* I knyow his heawt. -What he hath uttew'd I h-have *twerks* wwit my sistew. -If she sustain him and his hundwed knyights, -When I h-have show'd th' unfitnyess- - -Entew [Oswawd the] Stewawd. - -How n-nyow, Oswawd? -What, have you wwit that wettew to my sistew? ->_< Osw. Yes, madam. -Gon. Take you some ;;w;; company, and x3 away to howse! -Infowm hew fuww of my pawticuwaw ^.^ feaw, -And theweto add such weasons uWu of youw *teleports behind you* own -As *cuddles you* may compact it mowe. Get you gonye, -And hasten youw wetuwn. [Exit Oswawd.] Nyo, nyo, my wowd! -This miwky gentwenyess and *looks away* couwse o-of youws, -Though I condemn it >w< nyot, yet, undew OwO pawdon, -You a-awe much mowe :33 at task fow want o-of wisdom -Than pwais'd fow hawmfuw ^-^ miwdnyess. -Awb. How faw youw e-eyes :33 may p-piewce I cannyot teww. -Stwiving to bettew, oft we maw w-what's weww. -Gon. x3 Nyay then- -Awb. Weww, weww; *leans over* th' event. Exeunt. - - - - -^.^ Scenye V. -:33 Couwt *twerks* befowe the Duke of Awbany's Pawace. - -Entew Weaw, Kent, and Foow. - -*shuffles closer* Weaw. Go y-you b-befowe to Gwoucestew w-with t-these wettews. A-Acquaint my -daughtew nyo fuwthew with a-anything you knyow than comes fwom hew -d-demand out of the wettew. If ^w^ youw *hugs tightly* diwigence be nyot s-speedy, I -shaww be >_> thewe afowe you. -Kent. I wiww nyot sweep, *cuddles you* my wowd, tiww I have dewivewed youw wettew. -Exit. -Foow. If a man's bwains wewe in's heews, w-wewe't nyot in dangew of -kibes? -Weaw. Ay, boy. -Foow. Then I p-pwithee be OwO mewwy. Thy wit *sweats* shaww n-nye'ew go swip-shod. -Weaw. Ha, ha, ha! -Foow. Shawt see thy othew daughtew wiww *cuddles you* use thee k-kindwy; fow though -she's as wike this as a cwab's wike an appwe, yet I can *cuddles you* teww -what I can teww. -Weaw. What canst teww, boy? -Foow. She'ww uWu taste as *notices bulge* wike this as *pokes you* a UwU cwab does t-to a cwab. Thou -canst teww why onye's nyose stands i' th' m-middwe o-on's face? -Weaw. Nyo. -Foow. Why, t-to *twerks* keep onye's e-eyes of eithew side's nyose, that what >_< a -x3 man cannyot smeww out, 'a may spy into. -Weaw. I did hew wwong. -Foow. Canst teww how an oystew makes his s-sheww? -Weaw. Nyo. -Foow. *looks away* Nyow I-I nyeithew; but I can teww w-why a snyaiw *twerks* has a *sweats* house. -Weaw. Why? -F-Foow. Why, to put's head in; nyot to give i-it ;;w;; away to his daughtews, -and weave his howns w-without *twerks* a case. -Weaw. I wiww fowget my nyatuwe. So kind :33 a fathew!- Be my howses -weady? -Foow. T-Thy asses a-awe gonye about 'em. The weason why the seven s-staws -awe nyo moe than seven is a pwetty w-weason. -*sweats* Weaw. Because they awe n-nyot eight? -*notices bulge* Foow. Yes indeed. Thou *moans* wouwdst make a g-good foow. -Weaw. To tak't again pewfowce! Monstew ingwatitude! -^w^ Foow. ^.^ If thou wewt my foow, nyuncwe, I'wd have thee beaten fow being -owd befowe *giggles shyly* thy t-time. -W-Weaw. How's t-that? -^-^ Foow. Thou shouwdst nyot h-have b-been owd tiww t-thou hadst been wise. -Weaw. O, wet me *moans* nyot be mad, n-nyot mad, sweet heaven! -Keep me in tempew; I wouwd nyot be mad! - -[Entew a Gentweman.] - -How n-nyow? Awe the howses weady? -Gent. Weady, my wowd. -Weaw. Come, b-boy. -Foow. She that's a maid nyow, *hugs tightly* and waughs at my depawtuwe, -Shaww nyot be a maid wong, u-unwess things be cut showtew -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT II. Scenye I. -A-A couwt within the Castwe *cries* of the Eaww of G-Gwoucestew. - -Entew [Edmund the] Bastawd and Cuwan, meeting. - -Edm. Save thee, C-Cuwan. -Cuw. And you, siw. *notices bulge* I have been with youw fathew, and given him -nyotice that the D-Duke of Cownwaww and Wegan his Duchess wiww be -hewe with him this nyight. -*teleports behind you* Edm. How comes that? -Cuw. Nyay, I knyow nyot. *hugs tightly* You have UwU heawd of the *pokes you* nyews abwoad- I mean the -whispew'd onyes, fow they ;;w;; awe yet but eaw-kissing awguments? -Edm. Nyot I. Pway you, what awe x3 they? -C-Cuw. Have you heawd *hugs tightly* of nyo wikewy waws *moans* towawd 'twixt *pokes you* the *screams* two Dukes -of Cownwaww and Awbany? -Edm. Nyot a wowd. -Cuw. You may do, then, in t-time. Fawe you weww, siw. Exit. -Edm. *sweats* The *cuddles you* Duke xDD be hewe to-nyight? *looks away* The bettew! uWu best! -This w-weaves itsewf pewfowce into my businyess. -My fathew hath set guawd to take my bwothew; -And I have onye thing, of a queasy question, -Which I must act. Bwiefnyess and fowtunye, *cuddles you* wowk! -Bwothew, a-a wowd! Descend! Bwothew, I-I say! - -Entew E-Edgaw. - -My x3 fathew watches. O siw, fwy this pwace! -Intewwigence is given whewe you awe hid. -You *looks away* have *hugs tightly* nyow the good advantage o-of the nyight. -xDD Have you nyot spoken 'gainst the Duke of Cownwaww? -He's coming x3 hithew; n-nyow, i-i' th' nyight, i' th' haste, -And Wegan with x3 him. Have you nyothing said -Upon his pawty 'gainst t-the Duke of A-Awbany? -Advise youwsewf. -Edg. I am suwe on't, nyot *sweats* a wowd. -xDD Edm. I heaw *giggles shyly* my fathew coming. Pawdon me! -^w^ In cunnying I m-must dwaw my swowd upon y-you. -Dwaw, seem to ^-^ defend youwsewf; nyow quit you weww.- -Yiewd! Come b-befowe m-my fathew. >_< Wight, ho, hewe! -Fwy, *twerks* bwothew.- *notices bulge* Towches, towches!- UwU So f-faweweww. -Exit Edgaw. -Some bwood dwawn on me x3 wouwd beget opinyion -Of my mowe fiewce endeavouw. [Stabs his awm.] I have seen -dwunkawds -Do mowe than this :3 in spowt.- Fathew, *notices bulge* fathew!- -Stop, stop! Nyo hewp? - -Entew Gwoucestew, and Sewvants with towches. - -Gwou. Nyow, Edmund, whewe's the viwwain? -Edm. Hewe stood he i-in t-the dawk, his s-shawp swowd *sweats* out, -Mumbwing *twerks* of wicked c-chawms, conjuwing the moon -To *teleports behind you* stand 's auspicious mistwess. -Gwou. But whewe is he? -Edm. Wook, siw, I *moans* bweed. -Gwou. *sighs* Whewe is the viwwain, Edmund? -*shuffles closer* Edm. F-Fwed this way, siw. When by *cries* nyo means he couwd- -Gwou. Puwsue *pokes you* him, ho! Go aftew. [Exeunt some S-Sewvants]. -*blushes* By nyo means what? -Edm. Pewsuade me to the *looks at you* muwthew of youw wowdship; -*shuffles closer* But that I *hugs tightly* towd him the wevenging gods -'Gainst pawwicides did aww theiw thundews bend; -Spoke with how *moans* manyifowd and stwong a-a bond -The chiwd was b-bound to th' fathew- s-siw, in *cries* finye, -Seeing *twerks* how w-woathwy opposite I stood -To his unnyatuwaw puwpose, *twerks* in feww motion -*cuddles you* With his pwepawed swowd he chawges home -My u-unpwovided body, wanch'd minye awm; ->w< But when he saw *cries* my best awawum'd spiwits, -*shuffles closer* Bowd *cries* in the quawwew's wight, ^.^ wous'd to th' encountew, -O-Ow w-whethew gasted by the nyoise I made, -Fuww suddenwy he fwed. -Gwou. ^-^ Wet him f-fwy faw. -Nyot i-in this w-wand ^-^ shaww he wemain uncaught; -A-And found- dispatch. :33 The n-nyobwe Duke m-my mastew, -My *blushes* wowthy awch and patwon, c-comes to-nyight. -By his authowity I x3 wiww pwocwaim ^.^ it -That h-he which find, him shaww desewve ouw thanks, -*sighs* Bwinging the muwdewous c-caitiff to the stake; -He that conceaws h-him, death. -Edm. When I d-dissuaded him f-fwom his intent -*moans* And found him ^w^ pight t-to do >_< it, :3 with cuwst speech -I thweaten'd to discovew him. :3 He wepwied, -*screams* 'Thou unpossessing bastawd, dost thou uWu think, -If I wouwd stand against thee, w-wouwd the weposaw -Of any twust, ^-^ viwtue, ow wowth *looks away* in thee -Make thy wowds faith'd? >_< Nyo. x3 What I shouwd deny -(As t-this I wouwd; ay, though thou didst pwoduce -My vewy chawactew), I'wd tuwn i-it aww -*screams* To thy suggestion, p-pwot, and *sweats* damnyed pwactice; -A-And thou m-must make a duwwawd of the >_< wowwd, -If t-they nyot thought the pwofits o-of my death -Wewe vewy pwegnyant and potentiaw spuws -To make thee *notices bulge* seek it.' -Gwou. S-Stwong and fast'nyed *giggles shyly* viwwain! -Wouwd he deny his wettew? *giggles shyly* I nyevew got h-him. -Tucket within. -*shuffles closer* Hawk, t-the Duke's twumpets! I knyow nyot why he comes. -A-Aww powts ^-^ I'ww baw; t-the viwwain shaww nyot scape; -*looks at you* The Duke must *cuddles you* gwant me that. Besides, his pictuwe -*blushes* I wiww send *moans* faw and nyeaw, that aww the kingdom -May have due nyote of him, a-and *moans* of my wand, -Woyaw and nyatuwaw boy, I'ww wowk the *blushes* means -To make thee capabwe. - -Entew Cownwaww, Wegan, and Attendants. - -Cown. How nyow, my >_< nyobwe fwiend? Since I *giggles shyly* came hithew -(Which ^.^ I can caww but nyow) I-I have ;;w;; heawd s-stwange nyews. -^-^ Weg. If ;;w;; it be twue, aww vengeance comes too s-showt -W-Which can p-puwsue th' offendew. How *sweats* dost, my wowd? -Gwou. ;;w;; O madam, my owd h-heawt i-is cwack'd, i-it's cwack'd! -W-Weg. What, did my fathew's godson *sweats* seek youw wife? -He whom *notices bulge* my fathew nyam'd? Youw Edgaw? -Gwou. *notices bulge* O *teleports behind you* wady, uWu wady, shame w-wouwd have it hid! -*screams* Weg. Was he nyot companyion with the wiotous knyights -That tend upon my fathew? -Gwou. *shuffles closer* I knyow nyot, m-madam. 'Tis too bad, too b-bad! -Edm. Yes, madam, he was of that consowt. -Weg. *leans over* Nyo m-mawvew then t-though he wewe iww affected. -'Tis they have put him on the *pokes you* owd man's death, -To have *moans* th' expense and waste of *moans* his w-wevenyues. -I-I have *pokes you* this p-pwesent evenying fwom m-my s-sistew -Been w-weww i-infowm'd >_> of t-them, and with such cautions -That, i-if they ^w^ come to sojouwn at *screams* my house, -I'ww *screams* nyot be thewe. -Cown. Nyow I, assuwe thee, Wegan. -Edmund, I heaw that you have shown youw fathew -A-A chiwdwike office. -Edm. 'Twas my duty, siw. -Gwou. He did ^w^ bewway his pwactice, and weceiv'd -This huwt x3 you see, stwiving t-to a-appwehend him. -Cown. ;;w;; Is he puwsued? -Gwou. OwO Ay, my g-good x3 wowd. -Cown. If he be t-taken, he shaww nyevew *giggles shyly* mowe -:33 Be feaw'd of doing hawm. Make *sweats* youw own puwpose, -*teleports behind you* How in my stwength you pwease. Fow you, Edmund, -Whose viwtue and obedience doth this instant -S-So much commend itsewf, *blushes* you shaww be ouws. -*sweats* Nyatuwes of such deep twust we *screams* shaww m-much nyeed; -You we fiwst seize o-on. -Edm. I shaww *moans* sewve you, siw, -Twuwy, howevew ewse. -Gwou. Fow him I thank youw Gwace. -C-Cown. You knyow nyot *sweats* why we came to visit *leans over* you- -Weg. Thus out of season, t-thweading dawk-ey'd nyight. -Occasions, nyobwe Gwoucestew, of some poise, -Whewein we must have *shuffles closer* use of youw advice. -O-Ouw *pokes you* fathew he hath w-wwit, *looks away* so hath x3 ouw s-sistew, -Of diffewences, which uWu I best *screams* thought it fit -To answew fwom ouw home. The sevewaw m-messengews -Fwom h-hence attend *blushes* dispatch. Ouw good owd fwiend, -*screams* Way c-comfowts *leans over* to youw bosom, and bestow -*giggles shyly* Youw n-nyeedfuw x3 counsew to ouw businyess, -*screams* Which cwaves *blushes* the >w< instant u-use. -Gwou. I-I *sighs* sewve you, madam. -Youw Gwaces awe :33 wight wewcome. -Exeunt. uWu Fwouwish. - - - - -Scenye II. -Befowe Gwoucestew's Castwe. - -Entew K-Kent and [Oswawd t-the] Stewawd, sevewawwy. - -Osw. Good dawnying to thee, fwiend. Awt of this house? -*sighs* Kent. *cries* Ay. -Osw. Whewe may we set o-ouw howses? -Kent. I' t-th' *shuffles closer* miwe. -Osw. Pwithee, *screams* if t-thou wov'st me, :3 teww me. -*looks at you* Kent. I *sweats* wove >_< thee nyot. -Osw. Why t-then, I c-cawe nyot >_< fow *leans over* thee. -K-Kent. If I had thee in Wipsbuwy Pinfowd, I wouwd make thee cawe fow -me. -Osw. Why d-dost t-thou use *twerks* me thus? I knyow thee nyot. -Kent. Fewwow, *sweats* I knyow thee. -Osw. What dost thou knyow me fow? -Kent. A *twerks* knyave; a wascaw; an eatew of ;;w;; bwoken meats; *notices bulge* a base, pwoud, -shawwow, ^w^ beggawwy, thwee-suited, hundwed-pound, fiwthy, -wowsted-stocking knyave; a wiwy-wivew'd, action-taking, whoweson, -gwass-gazing, supewsewviceabwe, finyicaw w-wogue; -onye-twunk-inhewiting swave; onye *cuddles you* that w-wouwdst be a bawd in way of -good sewvice, and awt n-nyothing but the composition of a knyave, -beggaw, cowawd, *shuffles closer* pandew, and t-the s-son and heiw of a mongwew bitch; -onye whom I wiww *shuffles closer* beat into cwamowous whinying, if thou deny the -weast sywwabwe of thy a-addition. -*teleports behind you* Osw. Why, what a monstwous fewwow awt thou, thus *leans over* to waiw *hugs tightly* on onye -that's nyeithew knyown of thee :3 nyow knyows thee! -Kent. What a bwazen-fac'd vawwet awt thou, to *looks away* deny thou :3 knyowest me! -Is it two d-days ago since I beat thee and twipp'd up thy heews -b-befowe the King? xDD [Dwaws his swowd.] :33 Dwaw, you wogue! fow, though -it be nyight, yet the moon shinyes. I'ww OwO make *giggles shyly* a sop o' *screams* th' -*blushes* moonshinye o-o' you. D-Dwaw, *cuddles you* you whoweson cuwwionwy bawbewmongew! -dwaw! -O-Osw. Away! I *notices bulge* have nyothing *giggles shyly* to do with thee. -Kent. :3 Dwaw, you wascaw! You come with ^w^ wettews against the King, and -t-take Vanyity t-the xDD puppet's pawt against *hugs tightly* the woyawty *cuddles you* of hew fathew. -Dwaw, you ^.^ wogue, o-ow I'ww so cawbonyado youw shanks! *giggles shyly* Dwaw, you -wascaw! Come y-youw *pokes you* ways! -Osw. Hewp, ho! m-muwthew! hewp! -Kent. Stwike, you swave! Stand, wogue! Stand, you nyeat swave! -Stwike! [Beats him.] -Osw. Hewp, ho! muwthew! muwthew! - -Entew Edmund, w-with *hugs tightly* his wapiew dwawn, Gwoucestew, C-Cownwaww, -Wegan, *cries* Sewvants. - -E-Edm. How nyow? What's the *sweats* mattew? Pawts [them]. -Kent. With you, goodman boy, >w< an y-you pwease! :3 Come, I'ww *sweats* fwesh y-ye! -*looks away* Come on, *teleports behind you* young mastew! -Gwou. Weapons? awms? What's the mattew hewe? -Cown. Keep peace, upon ^-^ youw wives! -He dies t-that stwikes again. What is the mattew? -Weg. The messengews fwom ouw sistew and the King -Cown. What is youw diffewence? Speak. -Osw. I am scawce in b-bweath, my wowd. -Kent. Nyo mawvew, you have so bestiww'd *twerks* youw vawouw. You cowawdwy -wascaw, *screams* nyatuwe discwaims *notices bulge* in thee; a taiwow made *screams* thee. -Cown. Thou awt a stwange fewwow. A >w< taiwow make a man? -Kent. A-Ay, *looks at you* a taiwow, siw. A xDD stonyecuttew ow a paintew couwd nyot have -m-made him so iww, though he had been *pokes you* but two houws at the :33 twade. -Cown. Speak yet, how gwew youw quawwew? -Osw. This ancient wuffian, s-siw, *screams* whose wife I have spaw'd -At suit of *pokes you* his gwey beawd- -Kent. Thou whoweson ;;w;; zed! thou UwU unnyecessawy wettew! My w-wowd, if -y-you'ww give me w-weave, I wiww OwO twead this unbowted viwwain into -mowtaw and *leans over* daub *teleports behind you* the wawws o-of a jakes with him. 'Spawe my gwey -beawd,' you *hugs tightly* wagtaiw? -C-Cown. Peace, siwwah! -You b-beastwy knyave, ^w^ knyow you nyo *looks at you* wevewence? -K-Kent. *cries* Yes, s-siw, but angew hath a pwiviwege. -*leans over* Cown. Why awt thou angwy? -Kent. *cuddles you* That *blushes* such a swave as this *shuffles closer* shouwd weaw a swowd, -Who weaws *notices bulge* nyo honyesty. *giggles shyly* Such s-smiwing wogues as these, -Wike wats, *twerks* oft bite the howy c-cowds atwain -*hugs tightly* Which awe too intwinse t' unwoose; smooth evewy passion -That *looks away* in t-the nyatuwes o-of theiw *screams* wowds webew, -B-Bwing oiw to *looks at you* fiwe, s-snyow ^-^ to theiw cowdew moods; -Wenyege, affiwm, and tuwn *screams* theiw hawcyon b-beaks -With evewy ^w^ gawe and vawy *screams* of theiw mastews, -Knyowing nyaught (wike dogs) *screams* but fowwowing. -A-A *blushes* pwague upon youw xDD epiweptic visage! -Smiwe you my speeches, as I wewe a foow? -Goose, an I had you upon S-Sawum Pwain, -I'wd dwive >_< ye cackwing home to Camewot. -C-Cown. What, awt t-thou m-mad, :3 owd fewwow? -G-Gwou. How feww you o-out? Say that. -Kent. Nyo contwawies howd ^.^ mowe a-antipathy -Than I-I and such a-a knyave. -Cown. Why dost thou caww him knyave? What is his fauwt? -Kent. His countenyance w-wikes me n-nyot. -Cown. Nyo x3 mowe pewchance does minye, ow his, ow h-hews. -Kent. Siw, 'tis :33 my o-occupation to *blushes* be pwain. -I have seen bettew faces *giggles shyly* in my t-time -Than stands on any shouwdew that I-I see -Befowe me *cuddles you* at this instant. -Cown. T-This is some fewwow -Who, having b-been pwais'd fow bwuntnyess, doth affect -*looks at you* A saucy woughnyess, and constwains ;;w;; the gawb -Quite fwom ;;w;; his *cuddles you* nyatuwe. UwU He c-cannyot fwattew, he! -A-An honyest mind a-and pwain- he *hugs tightly* must s-speak twuth! -A-An they wiww take it, so; if nyot, he's pwain. -These kind of k-knyaves I knyow which in t-this pwainnyess -H-Hawbouw mowe c-cwaft *pokes you* and mowe cowwuptew ends -Than twenty siwwy-ducking obsewvants -That *screams* stwetch theiw d-duties nyicewy. -Kent. Siw, in good faith, in sincewe v-vewity, -*giggles shyly* Undew th' a-awwowance of youw *looks away* gweat aspect, -Whose infwuence, w-wike the wweath ^-^ of wadiant fiwe -On fwickewing Phoebus' fwont- -Cown. W-What mean'st by xDD this? -Kent. To go out of my diawect, which you discommend OwO so much. I -knyow, siw, I am nyo >_> fwattewew. He that *hugs tightly* beguiw'd you in a-a pwain -accent was a pwain k-knyave, which, fow *pokes you* my pawt, I wiww nyot be, -though ^-^ I shouwd win youw dispweasuwe to e-entweat me :3 to't. ->w< Cown. What w-was uWu th' uWu offence you gave him? -Osw. I nyevew gave >_< him any. -It p-pweas'd the King his mastew vewy uWu wate -^w^ To s-stwike at me, upon his *notices bulge* misconstwuction; -When h-he, conjunct, and fwattewing ^.^ his dispweasuwe, -Twipp'd me b-behind; being down, insuwted, :3 waiw'd -And put *blushes* upon him such a deaw of m-man -That wowthied him, *sighs* got pwaises of the King -Fow xDD him attempting who was sewf-subdu'd; -A-And, in *twerks* the fweshment of this *screams* dwead expwoit, -Dwew on me hewe again. -Kent. Nyonye of these wogues and c-cowawds -But Ajax is theiw foow. -Cown. Fetch *pokes you* fowth the stocks! -Y-You stubbown ancient knyave, you wevewent bwaggawt, -We'ww teach *cries* you- -*moans* Kent. Siw, I am too owd >_< to *hugs tightly* weawn. -Caww >_> nyot youw stocks fow me. I sewve the King; -On whose empwoyment I was sent to *looks at you* you. -You shaww do smaww wespect, show too bowd mawice -Against the *pokes you* gwace ;;w;; and pewson of my mastew, -S-Stocking his *screams* messengew. -Cown. Fetch fowth the stocks! As I have OwO wife and honyouw, -Thewe s-shaww he sit tiww nyoon. -Weg. Tiww nyoon? Tiww :3 nyight, my wowd, and aww nyight too! -Kent. Why, madam, i-if I-I wewe youw f-fathew's dog, -You shouwd *teleports behind you* nyot use me so. -Weg. Siw, being his *pokes you* knyave, I wiww. -Cown. *blushes* This is a fewwow of *notices bulge* the s-sewfsame c-cowouw -Ouw sistew speaks of. C-Come, bwing away t-the stocks! -Stocks bwought out. -Gwou. Wet me beseech youw Gwace nyot to do s-so. -His fauwt i-is much, and t-the good K-King his uWu mastew -Wiww check him fow't. *hugs tightly* Youw puwpos'd wow *giggles shyly* cowwection -Is such a-as basest *moans* and contemn'dest wwetches -Fow piwf'wings a-and most common twespasses -Awe punyish'd with. The King must take it iww -That he, so swightwy v-vawued in his messengew, -Shouwd have him thus westwain'd. -Cown. I'ww answew that. -Weg. My sistew m-may weceive it much mowe wowse, -To have *looks at you* hew gentweman abus'd, assauwted, -Fow fowwowing h-hew a-affaiws. Put in his wegs.- -xDD [Kent is put in the stocks.] -C-Come, my g-good wowd, away. -Exeunt [-[aww but Gwoucestew and Kent]. -Gwou. I ^w^ am sowwy fow thee, f-fwiend. 'Tis the Duke's *pokes you* pweasuwe, -Whose disposition, a-aww the wowwd w-weww knyows, -Wiww nyot be *leans over* wubb'd nyow stopp'd. I'ww entweat *screams* fow thee. -K-Kent. Pway do nyot, siw. I have watch'd and twaveww'd hawd. -S-Some t-time I shaww sweep *leans over* out, the :3 west I'ww :3 whistwe. -A good man's f-fowtunye may gwow o-out at *leans over* heews. -Give y-you :3 good mowwow! -Gwou. *giggles shyly* The Duke 's *sighs* to bwame in this; 'twiww be iww taken. -*sighs* Exit. -Kent. Good King, that must a-appwove the common saw, -T-Thou out of heaven's *looks away* benyediction *twerks* com'st -To *sweats* the wawm sun! -Appwoach, x3 thou beacon to this u-undew gwobe, -That b-by thy comfowtabwe beams I may -*cuddles you* Pewuse t-this wettew. *cuddles you* Nyothing ^w^ awmost sees miwacwes -But misewy. I-I knyow 'tis fwom Cowdewia, -Who hath most fowtunyatewy been infowm'd -Of my obscuwed *leans over* couwse- and [weads] '-'shaww find time ->_> Fwom this enyowmous state, seeking to *screams* give -Wosses theiw wemedies'- Aww weawy and >_< o'ewwatch'd, -*leans over* Take vantage, heavy eyes, n-nyot >w< to behowd -This shamefuw w-wodging. -Fowtunye, *looks away* good nyight; smiwe once mowe, tuwn t-thy wheew. -Sweeps. - - - - -Scenye III. -The open countwy. - -Entew UwU Edgaw. - -Edg. I h-heawd mysewf pwocwaim'd, -And b-by the h-happy howwow of *sweats* a twee -Escap'd t-the hunt. Nyo powt is fwee, n-nyo pwace -That guawd a-and most unyusuaw vigiwance -Does nyot attend my *cries* taking. Whiwes I may *screams* scape, -I wiww pwesewve mysewf; and am bethought -To take >w< the >w< basest and most p-poowest shape -^-^ That evew penyuwy, in contempt ^-^ of *sweats* man, -Bwought n-nyeaw to beast. My face I-I'ww g-gwime with fiwth, -Bwanket my woins, ewf aww m-my uWu haiw in knyots, -A-And *sighs* with *screams* pwesented nyakednyess ^.^ outface -The winds and pewsecutions of the sky. -The OwO countwy gives *cuddles you* me pwoof and pwecedent -Of Bedwam beggaws, *screams* who, with *hugs tightly* woawing voices, -Stwike in theiw nyumb'd and mowtified b-bawe awms -Pins, wooden pwicks, nyaiws, *blushes* spwigs of wosemawy; -And with this h-howwibwe object, fwom *leans over* wow fawms, -Poow p-pewting viwwages, sheepcotes, and m-miwws, -Sometime with wunyatic uWu bans, sometime with pwayews, -Enfowce theiw c-chawity. 'Poow T-Tuwwygod! p-poow Tom!' -That's *sighs* something y-yet! Edgaw I nyothing am. *moans* Exit. - - - - -Scenye IV. -Befowe Gwoucestew's Castwe; Kent in the stocks. - -Entew Weaw, Foow, *cries* and *teleports behind you* Gentweman. - -UwU Weaw. 'Tis stwange that they shouwd *moans* so depawt f-fwom home, -And *moans* nyot send back *moans* my messengew. -Gent. As I weawn'd, -xDD The nyight befowe thewe was nyo puwpose in them -Of this wemove. -Kent. Haiw to thee, *cuddles you* nyobwe mastew! -*hugs tightly* Weaw. Ha! -Mak'st thou *notices bulge* this shame thy pastime? -K-Kent. Nyo, my w-wowd. -Foow. ;;w;; Ha, ha! wook! h-he weaws cwuew gawtews. Howses awe t-tied *cuddles you* by the -head, ;;w;; dogs *shuffles closer* and beaws by th' nyeck, monkeys by ^.^ th' woins, and m-men -by *hugs tightly* th' *looks away* wegs. When a man's ;;w;; ovew-wusty at uWu wegs, t-then he weaws -;;w;; wooden n-nyethew-stocks. -*leans over* Weaw. What's he that hath so much thy pwace mistook -*pokes you* To xDD set thee hewe? -;;w;; Kent. It is both he *screams* and she- -Youw son and :33 daughtew. -Weaw. N-Nyo. -K-Kent. Yes. -W-Weaw. Nyo, I say. ->_> Kent. >_> I say yea. -W-Weaw. Nyo, nyo, they w-wouwd nyot! -Kent. Y-Yes, x3 they *cuddles you* have. -*twerks* Weaw. By Jupitew, *pokes you* I sweaw nyo! -Kent. By Junyo, I sweaw ay! -Weaw. They duwst nyot do't; -*hugs tightly* They wouwd nyot, *teleports behind you* couwd nyot do't. 'Tis wowse than muwthew -To d-do *teleports behind you* upon wespect such ^.^ viowent outwage. -uWu Wesowve me with aww m-modest haste which way -Thou mightst desewve >w< ow they impose this *looks away* usage, -Coming xDD fwom us. -Kent. *cries* My wowd, when *notices bulge* at *cuddles you* theiw home -I *giggles shyly* did commend youw Highnyess' w-wettews to *looks at you* them, -Ewe I *giggles shyly* was wisen fwom the *leans over* pwace that show'd -M-My duty xDD knyeewing, came thewe a weeking post, -Stew'd in his haste, hawf bweathwess, panting fowth -Fwom Gonyewiw h-his *moans* mistwess sawutations; -D-Dewivew'd wettews, *pokes you* spite of intewmission, -Which pwesentwy they w-wead; on ^-^ whose *twerks* contents, -They summon'd *giggles shyly* up theiw meiny, s-stwaight took howse, -C-Commanded me to fowwow *giggles shyly* and attend -The weisuwe of *looks away* theiw answew, g-gave me cowd wooks, -And meeting hewe the othew messengew, -Whose *moans* wewcome I pewceiv'd *leans over* had p-poison'd minye- -*giggles shyly* Being the vewy fewwow UwU which of wate -D-Dispway'd s-so s-sauciwy *sweats* against youw Highnyess- -Having *twerks* mowe man than wit a-about me, dwew. -He wais'd the house with woud and cowawd cwies. -Youw son a-and daughtew found this twespass wowth -The xDD shame which hewe it suffews. -Foow. Wintew's >_> nyot gonye yet, if the wiwd geese f-fwy that way. - -Fathews that weaw wags -D-Do make theiw *sighs* chiwdwen bwind; -But fathews that beaw bags -Shaww see *pokes you* theiw chiwdwen kind. -*sweats* Fowtunye, that awwant whowe, -Nye'ew tuwns the key t-to th' poow. - -But fow aww this, thou shawt have as many *leans over* dowouws fow thy -daughtews as t-thou canst teww in a yeaw. -Weaw. O, how this mothew swewws u-up towawd my heawt! -Hystewica passio! Down, thou cwimbing s-sowwow! -Thy ewement's bewow! Whewe is *notices bulge* this daughtew? -Kent. With the >_> Eaww, siw, hewe w-within. -Weaw. Fowwow me nyot; -Stay hewe. E-Exit. -Gent. Made you nyo mowe offence but what you speak o-of? -Kent. Nyonye. -How chance the King >_< comes with >_> so smaww a nyumbew? -Foow. An thou hadst been ^.^ set i-i' th' stocks fow that question, -thou'dst w-weww desewv'd it. -Kent. Why, foow? -Foow. We'ww set thee to schoow to an *shuffles closer* ant, *cuddles you* to teach thee thewe's nyo -wabouwing i' *giggles shyly* th' wintew. Aww uWu that fowwow theiw nyoses awe wed by -theiw eyes but bwind men, and t-thewe's nyot a nyose among *giggles shyly* twenty -but *teleports behind you* can smeww *blushes* him that's stinking. Wet *notices bulge* go thy howd w-when a gweat -wheew wuns down a-a hiww, west *cuddles you* it bweak thy nyeck with f-fowwowing -it; but the gweat onye that goes upwawd, wet him dwaw t-thee aftew. -When a wise man g-gives *looks at you* thee bettew c-counsew, give me minye a-again. *moans* I -wouwd *twerks* have nyonye *shuffles closer* but knyaves fowwow *looks at you* it, since a foow gives i-it. ->_> That siw which sewves and *giggles shyly* seeks fow gain, -And f-fowwows but fow ^w^ fowm, -Wiww pack when it begins to wain -And weave thee >_> in the stowm. -But *looks away* I wiww tawwy; the foow wiww s-stay, -And wet *notices bulge* the wise man fwy. ->_> The knyave tuwns f-foow ;;w;; that wuns away; -*sighs* The foow nyo knyave, pewdy. -Kent. Whewe w-weawn'd you this, foow? -*blushes* Foow. Nyot i' th' stocks, f-foow. - -E-Entew Weaw and >_> Gwoucestew - -Weaw. Deny *pokes you* to *screams* speak w-with me? They awe sick? they awe weawy? -They have twaveww'd aww the *twerks* nyight? ^-^ Mewe f-fetches- -The images of >_> wevowt and fwying off! -Fetch me a bettew answew. -Gwou. M-My deaw wowd, -You knyow *twerks* the :3 fiewy quawity of the Duke, -How unwemovabwe and *looks away* fix'd he is -In h-his ^.^ own couwse. -Weaw. Vengeance! p-pwague! death! confusion! -Fiewy? What quawity? :33 Why, Gwoucestew, xDD Gwoucestew, -I'wd speak with the Duke of Cownwaww and h-his wife. -G-Gwou. Weww, my g-good wowd, I have *twerks* infowm'd t-them so. -Weaw. Infowm'd them? Dost thou u-undewstand me, man? -G-Gwou. ^.^ Ay, my good wowd. -Weaw. The King wouwd speak *teleports behind you* with Cownwaww; the *blushes* deaw fathew -Wouwd uWu with >_< his daughtew speak, commands hew sewvice. -Awe t-they infowm'd o-of this? My bweath and bwood! -Fiewy? the fiewy Duke? Teww the hot Duke t-that- -Nyo, b-but *twerks* nyot yet! May be he is nyot OwO weww. -Infiwmity doth stiww nyegwect a-aww office -Wheweto ouw heawth is bound. We a-awe nyot ouwsewves -When nyatuwe, UwU being oppwess'd, commands the mind -To uWu suffew with the b-body. I'ww f-fowbeaw; -And am :3 fawwen out with my *pokes you* mowe headiew wiww, -To take ;;w;; the indispos'd and sickwy fit -Fow the sound man.- D-Death on my state! Whewefowe -Shouwd *screams* be >_> sit >_< hewe? This act pewsuades *moans* me -That this wemotion of the Duke and :3 hew -*notices bulge* Is pwactice onwy. Give me my sewvant *looks at you* fowth. -Go *looks away* teww the Duke UwU and 's w-wife *blushes* I'wd speak with uWu them- -Nyow, pwesentwy. *blushes* Bid *moans* them come fowth >_> and h-heaw me, -Ow a-at theiw ^.^ chambew doow I'ww beat the dwum -T-Tiww it cwy sweep to death. -Gwou. I wouwd have *blushes* aww weww betwixt you. Exit. -Weaw. O *twerks* me, my heawt, my w-wising heawt! ;;w;; But down! -Foow. Cwy to it, nyuncwe, as xDD the cocknyey did to the eews when she -put 'em i' th' paste awive. She knyapp'd 'em o' *giggles shyly* th' coxcombs with -a stick *blushes* and cwied 'Down, wantons, down!' *screams* 'Twas hew bwothew xDD that, -i-in puwe kindnyess to his howse, b-buttewed h-his hay. - -*sighs* Entew C-Cownwaww, *sighs* Wegan, G-Gwoucestew, Sewvants. - -Weaw. G-Good m-mowwow to you both. -Cown. Haiw t-to youw Gwace! -K-Kent hewe *hugs tightly* set at w-wibewty. -Weg. I *moans* am gwad to see youw *moans* Highnyess. -Weaw. Wegan, I think you *hugs tightly* awe; *shuffles closer* I knyow what weason -*hugs tightly* I h-have to think *pokes you* so. If thou shouwdst nyot b-be gwad, -I wouwd divowce me uWu fwom *sweats* thy mothew's tomb, -Sepuwchwing an aduwtwess. [To K-Kent] O-O, awe you fwee? -Some othew t-time fow that.- Bewoved Wegan, -Thy sistew's nyaught. O Wegan, she hath tied -Shawp-tooth'd unkindnyess, wike a vuwtuwe, x3 hewe! -*twerks* [Ways his hand on his heawt.] -I can scawce speak to thee. Thou'wt nyot bewieve -xDD With how depwav'd a quawity- ;;w;; O Wegan! -Weg. I *looks away* pway you, siw, take patience. *twerks* I have hope -You *cries* wess *sighs* knyow how to ^.^ vawue hew desewt -Than s-she to ^-^ scant hew duty. -*giggles shyly* Weaw. Say, how i-is that? -Weg. >w< I cannyot t-think my sistew in the weast -Wouwd faiw hew obwigation. If, siw, pewchance -She *leans over* have westwain'd the wiots *giggles shyly* of youw fowwowews, -'Tis on >_> such gwound, *shuffles closer* and to such whowesome end, -As cweaws hew fwom aww bwame. -W-Weaw. My *blushes* cuwses on hew! -W-Weg. O, siw, you awe owd! -Nyatuwe in you stands on the vewy vewge -Of hew confinye. You shouwd b-be wuw'd, and wed -By some discwetion that discewns youw *notices bulge* state -Bettew than you youwsewf. Thewefowe I pway y-you -That to o-ouw sistew you do make wetuwn; -*screams* Say you have wwong'd h-hew, siw. -Weaw. Ask hew fowgivenyess? -*giggles shyly* Do you but mawk how this becomes the house: -'Deaw d-daughtew, I confess *hugs tightly* that I am uWu owd. [Knyeews.] -A-Age is unnyecessawy. On my knyees I beg -T-That you'ww v-vouchsafe me waiment, bed, and f-food.' -W-Weg. Good siw, nyo mowe! T-These awe unsightwy twicks. -W-Wetuwn you to m-my sistew. -Weaw. [wises] Nyevew, Wegan! -*looks away* She hath abated me of hawf m-my twain; -Wook'd bwack *pokes you* upon me; stwuck me with hew tongue, -*pokes you* Most sewpent-wike, upon the vewy heawt. -Aww the stow'd vengeances *looks away* of heaven faww -O-On hew ingwatefuw top! S-Stwike hew young bonyes, -Y-You taking aiws, with wamenyess! -Cown. F-Fie, siw, fie! -Weaw. You nyimbwe wightnyings, *looks at you* dawt youw bwinding fwames -Into hew scownfuw eyes! Infect hew beauty, -You fen-suck'd fogs, dwawn by the pow'wfuw sun, -To faww and bwast hew pwide! -Weg. O the bwest gods! so wiww *pokes you* you wish o-on me -When the wash mood is *moans* on. -Weaw. Nyo, Wegan, *teleports behind you* thou s-shawt nyevew have my >_< cuwse. -*leans over* Thy tendew-hefted nyatuwe s-shaww nyot give -Thee o'ew to hawshnyess. Hew eyes awe fiewce; UwU but thinye -Do comfowt, and nyot buwn. 'Tis n-nyot in thee -T-To gwudge my pweasuwes, to cut off my t-twain, -To bandy hasty wowds, to scant *sweats* my sizes, -And, *shuffles closer* in c-concwusion, to oppose the bowt -Against ^-^ my coming in. Thou b-bettew knyow'st -The offices of nyatuwe, b-bond >_< of chiwdhood, -E-Effects o-of couwtesy, dues x3 of gwatitude. -^w^ Thy hawf OwO o' th' >_< kingdom h-hast thou nyot *notices bulge* fowgot, -Whewein I thee endow'd. -Weg. Good s-siw, to th' puwpose. -Tucket within. -Weaw. uWu Who put my man i' th' stocks? -C-Cown. What xDD twumpet's that? -Weg. :3 I knyow't- my *sighs* sistew's. This appwoves hew wettew, -That she wouwd soon be hewe. - -Entew [Oswawd the] Stewawd. - -Is :3 youw wady come? -Weaw. This is a swave, whose *notices bulge* easy-bowwowed pwide -Dwewws i-in t-the fickwe gwace o-of hew he fowwows. -O-Out, vawwet, *sighs* fwom my sight! -Cown. W-What means youw Gwace? - -Entew Gonyewiw. - -Weaw. Who stock'd my sewvant? Wegan, I have good hope -Thou didst n-nyot knyow on't.- Who ^.^ comes hewe? O heavens! -If you do wove owd men, i-if youw sweet *moans* sway -Awwow >_> obedience- if youwsewves awe owd, -Make ^.^ it youw cause! Send down, and take my pawt! -[To Gonyewiw] Awt nyot asham'd to >w< wook upon this beawd?- -O Wegan, *looks away* wiwt thou take hew >_> by x3 the hand? -G-Gon. Why nyot by t-th' hand, siw? H-How h-have I o-offended? -Aww's nyot offence *cuddles you* that indiscwetion finds -A-And dotage tewms so. -Weaw. O-O *looks at you* sides, you awe too tough! -Wiww you yet howd? How *sighs* came m-my m-man i' th' stocks? -Cown. I set him x3 thewe, siw; but his own disowdews -Desewv'd m-much wess advancement. -W-Weaw. You? Did you? -Weg. *pokes you* I p-pway you, fathew, b-being weak, seem *cuddles you* so. -^w^ If, tiww the expiwation o-of youw month, -You wiww wetuwn a-and sojouwn with my ^.^ sistew, -Dismissing hawf *notices bulge* youw twain, come then to me. -I-I am nyow fwom *shuffles closer* home, and o-out of that *cries* pwovision -Which shaww be nyeedfuw fow youw entewtainment. -Weaw. *sighs* Wetuwn to hew, and fifty men dismiss'd? -Nyo, wathew I >w< abjuwe *sweats* aww woofs, and choose -T-To wage against the enmity o' th' aiw, -To *pokes you* be a comwade w-with the wowf and oww- -Nyecessity's shawp pinch! Wetuwn with hew? -Why, the hot-bwooded Fwance, that dowewwess took -Ouw youngest bown, I-I *cries* couwd as weww be bwought -*hugs tightly* To ^.^ knyee his thwonye, and, squiwe-wike, *teleports behind you* pension beg -*leans over* To keep base wife afoot. Wetuwn with *looks at you* hew? -Pewsuade me wathew to be *shuffles closer* swave ^.^ and sumptew -:3 To this detested gwoom. [Points at Oswawd.] -Gon. At y-youw c-choice, siw. -Weaw. I ;;w;; pwithee, daughtew, do nyot make me mad. -I wiww *twerks* nyot t-twoubwe t-thee, my chiwd; faweweww. -We'ww nyo m-mowe meet, n-nyo mowe see onye anyothew. -B-But yet thou *sighs* awt my fwesh, my bwood, my d-daughtew; -Ow wathew a disease that's *pokes you* in my fwesh, -Which I-I ;;w;; must n-nyeeds caww m-minye. Thou *notices bulge* awt *leans over* a boiw, -A *twerks* pwague sowe, an embossed cawbuncwe -In UwU my cowwupted bwood. But I'ww nyot chide thee. -W-Wet xDD shame come *looks away* when it wiww, I do *looks at you* nyot caww it. -I do nyot bid the Thundew-beawew *blushes* shoot -Nyow *blushes* teww tawes >_< of thee to high-judging Jove. -Mend ;;w;; when *cuddles you* thou canst; be bettew at thy weisuwe; -*pokes you* I can be patient, I *teleports behind you* can stay with Wegan, -I and my hundwed knyights. -W-Weg. :3 Nyot awtogethew so. -I-I wook'd nyot fow you yet, nyow a-am pwovided -Fow *pokes you* youw fit wewcome. x3 Give eaw, siw, to my sistew; -F-Fow *notices bulge* those that mingwe weason with y-youw passion -Must be content to think you ^-^ owd, and so- -But she knyows what she does. -Weaw. Is this weww spoken? -Weg. I dawe avouch it, siw. What, fifty fowwowews? -Is i-it n-nyot w-weww? What *screams* shouwd you nyeed of mowe? -Yea, ow so many, sith >_> that both chawge and dangew -Speak '-'gainst so gweat ;;w;; a *pokes you* nyumbew? How in o-onye house -Shouwd many peopwe, undew two commands, -Howd amity? 'Tis hawd; awmost impossibwe. -Gon. Why >w< might nyot you, my wowd, weceive attendance -Fwom those that she c-cawws sewvants, ow fwom *pokes you* minye? -Weg. W-Why *sighs* nyot, my wowd? If then *leans over* they chanc'd to swack *teleports behind you* ye, -We couwd contwow them. If you wiww ^.^ come to me -(Fow nyow I spy a dangew), >w< I entweat you -To bwing but five-and-twenty. To nyo mowe -*twerks* Wiww I-I give pwace ow nyotice. -*sighs* Weaw. ;;w;; I gave you a-aww- -Weg. And *hugs tightly* in good time you gave it! -Weaw. Made you my >w< guawdians, my depositawies; -But kept a wesewvation to be fowwowed -With such a nyumbew. What, must I come to you -W-With f-five-and-twenty, Wegan? Said y-you OwO so? -Weg. And speak't a-again my wowd. Nyo mowe w-with me. -Weaw. Those wicked cweatuwes yet do wook weww-favouw'd -*shuffles closer* When othews awe mowe wicked; nyot being the wowst -Stands i-in >_< some wank of ;;w;; pwaise. [To Gonyewiw] I'ww go with thee. -Thy fifty yet doth :3 doubwe five-and-twenty, -A-And thou awt twice hew w-wove. -Gon. Heaw, me, my wowd. -What nyeed you five-and-twenty, ten, ow five, -To fowwow in ^-^ a house w-whewe twice so many -Have a-a command t-to *cuddles you* tend *twerks* you? -Weg. What nyeed *hugs tightly* onye? -*cries* Weaw. O, weason nyot the nyeed! *looks away* Ouw basest beggaws -Awe in t-the poowest thing s-supewfwuous. -Awwow nyot nyatuwe mowe than nyatuwe nyeeds, -Man's wife is cheap as beast's. Thou awt :3 a wady: -If onwy *twerks* to go wawm wewe gowgeous, -W-Why, nyatuwe nyeeds nyot *teleports behind you* what thou g-gowgeous weaw'st -Which scawcewy *screams* keeps thee wawm. But, fow t-twue nyeed- -You heavens, give me that patience, patience I n-nyeed! -You x3 see me hewe, you gods, a-a poow owd man, -As fuww of g-gwief as ^-^ age; wwetched in both. -If it be you that stiws these daughtews' heawts -Against theiw ^.^ fathew, foow *twerks* me nyot so much -To beaw uWu it tamewy; touch >w< me w-with nyobwe angew, -And wet nyot women's weapons, *moans* watew dwops, -*looks away* Stain my ;;w;; man's c-cheeks! Nyo, you unnyatuwaw h-hags! -I *cuddles you* wiww have such ^w^ wevenges on you both -*leans over* That aww the w-wowwd x3 shaww- I wiww do ^w^ such things- -*shuffles closer* What they awe yet, ^-^ I knyow nyot; but uWu they shaww be -The tewwows o-of the eawth! *shuffles closer* You think I'ww weep. -;;w;; Nyo, I'ww n-nyot w-weep. -I h-have f-fuww ^-^ cause *cries* of weeping, ;;w;; but this heawt -Shaww bweak into ^-^ a hundwed thousand *twerks* fwaws -Ow ewe I'ww weep. *moans* O foow, I shaww g-go mad! -Exeunt Weaw, Gwoucestew, Kent, and Foow. Stowm *giggles shyly* and -tempest. -Cown. Wet u-us w-withdwaw; 'twiww be OwO a s-stowm. -*looks away* Weg. This house is wittwe; the owd man and 's peopwe -Cannyot uWu be uWu weww bestow'd. -Gon. 'Tis his own bwame; hath p-put himsewf fwom >w< west -And m-must *cries* nyeeds taste x3 his fowwy. -W-Weg. ^-^ Fow his pawticuwaw, I'ww weceive him gwadwy, -OwO But nyot onye fowwowew. -Gon. So am I puwpos'd. -^-^ Whewe i-is my Wowd of Gwoucestew? -Cown. Fowwowed the owd man fowth. - -Entew Gwoucestew. - -H-He is w-wetuwn'd. -Gwou. The King i-is in *screams* high wage. -Cown. Whithew is he going? -Gwou. He cawws to xDD howse, but wiww I knyow nyot whithew. -Cown. 'Tis best to give him way; he weads himsewf. -*notices bulge* Gon. My wowd, entweat *giggles shyly* him by nyo m-means to stay. -Gwou. Awack, the nyight comes on, and the bweak winds -Do sowewy wuffwe. Fow many miwes about -Thewe's scawce a bush. -Weg. *pokes you* O, *sweats* siw, uWu to wiwfuw men -The injuwies that they themsewves pwocuwe -M-Must be theiw schoowmastews. Shut up youw doows. -He is attended w-with a despewate t-twain, -And w-what they *pokes you* may incense h-him to, being apt -To have his ;;w;; eaw abus'd, wisdom bids feaw. -C-Cown. Shut ;;w;; up youw doows, my wowd: 'tis a wiwd nyight. -M-My Wegan :33 counsews w-weww. Come out o' th' stowm. [Exeunt.] - - - - -xDD <_< INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG UwU ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH *twerks* PEWMISSION. *moans* EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE *leans over* WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW U-USE O-ONWY, AND (2) A-AWE NyOT *cries* DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW *moans* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -^.^ SEWVICE T-THAT C-CHAWGES ;;w;; FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT *cuddles you* III. Scenye I. -A *sweats* heath. - -Stowm stiww. Entew Kent and a Gentweman a-at x3 sevewaw doows. - -uWu Kent. Who's thewe, besides *hugs tightly* fouw *blushes* weathew? -Gent. Onye minded wike the weathew, most unquietwy. -Kent. I knyow you. >_> Whewe's the *cuddles you* King? -Gent. ^.^ Contending with the fwetfuw ewements; -Bids the wind bwow the eawth *giggles shyly* into *twerks* the ^.^ sea, -*screams* Ow sweww the *leans over* cuwwed watews 'bove t-the main, -That things might change ow cease; teaws his white haiw, -Which the impetuous bwasts, with eyewess wage, -C-Catch *sweats* in theiw *leans over* fuwy and make nyothing o-of; -*screams* Stwives i-in his wittwe *pokes you* wowwd of man to outscown -The to-and-fwo-confwicting wind a-and wain. -This *sweats* nyight, whewein the cub-dwawn b-beaw wouwd c-couch, -The wion and :33 the bewwy-pinched wowf -Keep theiw f-fuw ^.^ dwy, u-unbonnyeted he wuns, -And bids w-what wiww take aww. -Kent. B-But w-who is ^.^ with him? -Gent. Nyonye b-but *leans over* the foow, who wabouws to outjest -*looks at you* His heawt-stwuck injuwies. -Kent. Siw, I do *moans* knyow you, -And dawe upon the wawwant of my n-nyote -Commend a *looks away* deaw thing to you. Thewe is division -(Awthough as uWu yet the face of it *looks at you* be covew'd -With mutuaw cunnying) *twerks* 'twixt Awbany and Cownwaww; -Who *cuddles you* have (as w-who have nyot, that theiw gweat *looks away* staws -Thwon'd *pokes you* and set high?) sewvants, who seem nyo wess, -Which awe *leans over* to Fwance the spies and specuwations -I-Intewwigent of ouw state. What ^-^ hath b-been seen, -Eithew in snyuffs and packings of the D-Dukes, -;;w;; Ow the hawd w-wein which both of them have bownye -Against the owd kind King, ow something deepew, -Wheweof, pewchance, these OwO awe but fuwnyishings- ->w< But, twue it is, fwom *looks away* Fwance thewe c-comes a powew -*shuffles closer* Into this scattewed kingdom, who awweady, -Wise in ouw nyegwigence, ;;w;; have secwet *looks at you* feet -I-In some of ouw b-best powts and awe at point -To s-show theiw open bannyew. Nyow to you: -If on *cries* my cwedit you dawe b-buiwd so faw -To make youw speed t-to Dovew, you *cuddles you* shaww find -Some *pokes you* that wiww t-thank ^-^ you, making just wepowt -Of how unnyatuwaw and bemadding s-sowwow -The King hath cause to pwain. -I am a gentweman of bwood and *leans over* bweeding, -And fwom some knyowwedge and assuwance offew -This *shuffles closer* office to you. -Gent. ^-^ I wiww *cuddles you* tawk fuwthew with you. -Kent. Nyo, do nyot. -Fow c-confiwmation that I *leans over* am m-much mowe -Than my out-waww, open this puwse and take -What it contains. If you shaww see Cowdewia -(As feaw nyot but you shaww), show hew this UwU wing, -And she wiww teww y-you who youw fewwow is -That y-yet you do nyot knyow. Fie on this stowm! -I :33 wiww go s-seek the King. -*cuddles you* Gent. Give me *moans* youw hand. Have you *shuffles closer* nyo mowe to say? -^w^ Kent. Few wowds, but, t-to effect, mowe than aww yet: -That, when we have found >_< the King (in which *looks at you* youw pain -That way, I'ww this), he that fiwst *moans* wights on him -H-Howwa the othew. -Exeunt [sevewawwy]. - - - - -Scenye II. -Anyothew p-pawt of the heath. - -Stowm s-stiww. Entew Weaw and Foow. - -uWu Weaw. Bwow, :3 winds, >w< and *twerks* cwack youw cheeks! wage! b-bwow! -Y-You catawacts a-and huwwicanyoes, spout -Tiww you h-have dwench'd *giggles shyly* ouw steepwes, dwown'd the cocks! -You suwph'wous and thought-executing *looks away* fiwes, -Vaunt-couwiews to oak-cweaving thundewbowts, -Singe m-my white head! And thou, aww-shaking *hugs tightly* thundew, -Stwike fwat the thick wotundity o' th' w-wowwd, -*teleports behind you* Cwack *cuddles you* Nyatuwe's mouwds, a-aww gewmains spiww at *cuddles you* once, -That ^w^ makes ingwatefuw man! -Foow. O-O nyuncwe, couwt howy watew *looks away* in a dwy house is bettew t-than this -w-wain watew out o' doow. G-Good n-nyuncwe, in, and ask thy daughtews -b-bwessing! Hewe's a nyight pities nyethew wise men nyow foows. -Weaw. *leans over* Wumbwe thy b-bewwyfuw! S-Spit, fiwe! spout, wain! -Nyow wain, w-wind, *pokes you* thundew, f-fiwe awe m-my daughtews. -I tax nyot *leans over* you, you ewements, with unkindnyess. -I nyevew gave you kingdom, c-caww'd you chiwdwen, -You o-owe *screams* me n-nyo subscwiption. Then wet faww -Youw howwibwe pweasuwe. >_< Hewe I *pokes you* stand youw s-swave, -A poow, infiwm, w-weak, and *cries* despis'd o-owd man. -But *cuddles you* yet I caww you ^w^ sewviwe minyistews, -T-That wiww with two p-pewnyicious daughtews *sighs* join -Youw high-engendew'd b-battwes *moans* 'gainst a h-head -So owd and white a-as this! O! O! 'tis fouw! -Foow. H-He that has ^-^ a house to put '-'s head in has a good head-piece. -The c-codpiece that wiww house -B-Befowe the h-head has a-any, -The head and he shaww wouse: -S-So beggaws ;;w;; mawwy many. -The man *moans* that makes h-his t-toe -What he his heawt shouwd *sweats* make -^-^ Shaww of a cown cwy woe, -And tuwn his sweep to wake. -F-Fow thewe w-was nyevew yet faiw woman but she made mouths in a -gwass. - -Entew Kent. - -Weaw. ;;w;; Nyo, I wiww be the pattewn of aww patience; -I wiww say nyothing. -Kent. Who's thewe? -Foow. Mawwy, hewe's gwace a-and a codpiece; that's *leans over* a *looks at you* wise man and a -foow. -OwO Kent. Awas, siw, awe you hewe? T-Things that xDD wove nyight -Wove nyot such nyights as these. The wwathfuw skies -Gawwow the *sighs* vewy wandewews of the dawk -And make t-them keep theiw UwU caves. Since I was man, -Such sheets of fiwe, such buwsts of :3 howwid thundew, -^.^ Such *cries* gwoans of woawing wind and wain, I nyevew -Wemembew to *screams* have heawd. Man's nyatuwe cannyot cawwy -Th' affwiction nyow the feaw. -Weaw. Wet :3 the g-gweat gods, -That k-keep this dweadfuw puddew o'ew ouw heads, -Find out theiw *looks at you* enyemies nyow. *pokes you* Twembwe, t-thou *blushes* wwetch, -That h-hast within t-thee undivuwged cwimes -Unwhipp'd of justice. Hide thee, thou bwoody hand; -Thou pewjuw'd, and thou simuwaw man of *hugs tightly* viwtue -That awt incestuous. C-Caitiff, in pieces shake -That u-undew covewt *teleports behind you* and convenyient seeming -Hast pwactis'd on m-man's wife. *shuffles closer* Cwose p-pent-up guiwts, -Wive y-youw conceawing continyents, and cwy -These dweadfuw summonyews gwace. I am a m-man -M-Mowe sinn'd against than sinnying. -Kent. A-Awack, baweheaded? -Gwacious my wowd, hawd by hewe is a *shuffles closer* hovew; -Some fwiendship wiww it wend *hugs tightly* you 'gainst the tempest. -Wepose you thewe, whiwst I to this hawd h-house -(Mowe hawdew t-than the s-stonyes w-wheweof 'tis wais'd, -Which even but nyow, *leans over* demanding aftew you, -Denyied me to come in) wetuwn, and fowce -Theiw scanted couwtesy. -Weaw. *screams* My *twerks* wits begin to tuwn. -Come *notices bulge* on, my boy. How dost, my boy? Awt cowd? -I am cowd mysewf. W-Whewe *teleports behind you* is *cries* this *pokes you* stwaw, my fewwow? -The *sighs* awt of ouw *leans over* nyecessities is stwange, -That can make viwe *looks at you* things pwecious. Come, y-youw hovew. -Poow foow and knyave, I have onye pawt in m-my h-heawt -That's sowwy yet fow thee. -Foow. [sings] - -*cries* He that has and a wittwe tiny wit- -With OwO hey, ho, the wind *screams* and t-the wain- -Must make c-content with his fowtunyes fit, -F-Fow the wain it wainyeth evewy day. - -W-Weaw. Twue, my g-good boy. Come, *notices bulge* bwing us to this hovew. -Exeunt ^w^ [Weaw and Kent]. -Foow. T-This is a bwave nyight to c-coow a couwtesan. I'ww speak *screams* a -pwophecy e-ewe I go: -W-When pwiests a-awe mowe in wowd t-than mattew; -When b-bwewews maw theiw mawt with watew; -When nyobwes awe theiw taiwows' *cries* tutows, -Nyo hewetics buwn'd, but wenches' suitows; -:3 When evewy case in waw *notices bulge* is *looks away* wight, -*blushes* Nyo squiwe in debt nyow nyo poow knyight; -When swandews do *notices bulge* nyot w-wive ^.^ in :33 tongues, -Nyow cutpuwses *notices bulge* come ^.^ nyot to thwongs; -When usuwews *twerks* teww *teleports behind you* theiw gowd i-i' th' fiewd, -A-And bawds and ^w^ whowes do chuwches buiwd: -Then s-shaww t-the weawm :3 of Awbion -Come to gweat confusion. -Then c-comes the time, who wives *sweats* to see't, -T-That g-going *teleports behind you* shaww be us'd with *cries* feet. -This pwophecy M-Mewwin shaww make, *cuddles you* fow I wive befowe his time. -Exit. - - - - -*notices bulge* Scenye *leans over* III. -Gwoucestew's Castwe. - -Entew Gwoucestew and Edmund. - -G-Gwou. Awack, awack, Edmund, I *screams* wike nyot this unnyatuwaw deawing! When -^.^ I desiw'd theiw weave that I might p-pity him, they took fwom *pokes you* me -the ;;w;; use of *leans over* minye own house, chawg'd me on pain of pewpetuaw -d-dispweasuwe nyeithew to speak of him, entweat fow him, nyow any -way s-sustain *blushes* him. -E-Edm. Most savage and *moans* unnyatuwaw! -*cries* Gwou. *notices bulge* Go to; say you nyothing. Thewe is d-division *shuffles closer* betwixt *blushes* the Dukes, -and a-a wowse mattew *leans over* than *teleports behind you* that. I *blushes* have weceived a wettew this -nyight- *giggles shyly* 'tis dangewous *looks away* to be spoken- I have wock'd the *pokes you* wettew in -m-my cwoset. These i-injuwies the King nyow beaws wiww be >_< wevenged -*sweats* home; t-thewe's pawt of a-a powew awweady footed; we must incwinye to -the King. I-I wiww seek him and *twerks* pwiviwy wewieve him. Go you and -maintain tawk w-with >_> the :33 Duke, that my ^w^ chawity be *moans* nyot of him ->_< pewceived. If he ask fow me, *teleports behind you* I am >w< iww a-and gonye *giggles shyly* to b-bed. *shuffles closer* Though I -die fow't, as nyo >_< wess :33 is thweat'nyed me, the King my owd *notices bulge* mastew -must be wewieved. Thewe *sighs* is some stwange thing >w< towawd, Edmund. -*cuddles you* Pway *looks away* you b-be xDD cawefuw. Exit. -Edm. This couwtesy, *looks away* fowbid thee, *cries* shaww the Duke -Instantwy *hugs tightly* knyow, and of that >_< wettew too. -*cries* This seems a faiw desewving, and must dwaw me -That which my fathew woses- nyo wess than aww. -The youngew *looks at you* wises when *leans over* the owd doth faww. Exit. - - - - -Scenye IV. -The heath. B-Befowe *looks at you* a >_< hovew. - -Stowm stiww. Entew Weaw, Kent, and Foow. - -Kent. Hewe i-is *moans* the *notices bulge* pwace, my wowd. *looks at you* Good *leans over* my wowd, e-entew. -The tywanny of the *looks at you* open nyight 's *pokes you* too wough -^.^ Fow UwU nyatuwe to *leans over* enduwe. -*leans over* Weaw. Wet me a-awonye. -Kent. Good my uWu wowd, entew hewe. -Weaw. Wiwt bweak my heawt? -Kent. *cuddles you* I had *cries* wathew bweak m-minye own. Good my wowd, entew. -Weaw. Thou *giggles shyly* think'st 'tis much t-that this contentious stowm -Invades us to the s-skin. ^w^ So 'tis to *notices bulge* thee; -But whewe the gweatew mawady is fix'd, -The wessew xDD is scawce *twerks* fewt. Thou'dst *giggles shyly* shun a xDD beaw; -But if thy fwight way towawd the w-waging sea, -Thou'dst m-meet the beaw *shuffles closer* i' th' mouth. :3 When the mind's fwee, -The body's dewicate. The tempest *giggles shyly* in my mind -Doth fwom my >_< senses take aww OwO feewing ewse -Save what beats thewe. Fiwiaw ingwatitude! -Is it n-nyot a-as this mouth shouwd teaw this hand -Fow wifting food to't? But I-I wiww *moans* punyish home! -Nyo, *blushes* I wiww weep nyo mowe. >_< In such ^w^ a n-nyight -'To shut me out! Pouw on; *looks away* I wiww enduwe. -In such a nyight as this! O Wegan, *cuddles you* Gonyewiw! -Youw owd kind fathew, *moans* whose fwank heawt xDD gave aww! -O, that way madnyess wies; wet m-me s-shun that! -Nyo mowe of that. -Kent. Good m-my wowd, entew hewe. -Weaw. Pwithee go in thysewf; *giggles shyly* seek thinye own ease. -This tempest w-wiww nyot g-give m-me ^.^ weave to *sweats* pondew -On things *cuddles you* wouwd huwt me mowe. *hugs tightly* But I'ww go in. -*twerks* [To the Foow] In, boy; go fiwst.- You housewess povewty- -Nyay, get thee in. *moans* I'ww pway, and then I'ww sweep. -*looks away* Exit [Foow]. -P-Poow nyaked wwetches, whewesoe'ew you a-awe, -T-That *blushes* bide the pewting of t-this >_> pitiwess stowm, -H-How s-shaww youw housewess ^.^ heads >w< and u-unfed sides, -Youw woop'd and window'd waggednyess, d-defend you -Fwom seasons such a-as these? O, I have OwO ta'en -Too wittwe c-cawe of this! Take *notices bulge* physic, pomp; -Expose thysewf *looks at you* to *moans* feew what wwetches feew, -That xDD thou mayst shake the supewfwux ;;w;; to them -And show the heavens :33 mowe j-just. -Edg. uWu [within] ^-^ Fathom a-and hawf, fathom and hawf! :3 Poow Tom! - -Entew F-Foow [fwom the hovew]. - -Foow. Come nyot in hewe, nyuncwe, hewe's a *teleports behind you* spiwit. Hewp me, hewp me! -K-Kent. Give *giggles shyly* me thy hand. Who's thewe? -Foow. A spiwit, uWu a spiwit! He >_< says his nyame's p-poow Tom. -Kent. What awt thou that dost g-gwumbwe thewe i' th' stwaw? -Come fowth. - -E-Entew xDD Edgaw *shuffles closer* [disguised as a madman]. - -E-Edg. Away! the fouw fiend fowwows me! T-Thwough the shawp hawthown -bwows the cowd wind. Humh! >w< go to thy cowd bed, and wawm thee. -*sighs* Weaw. Hast thou given aww to thy two daughtews, and awt t-thou *blushes* come -to this? -Edg. Who g-gives anything *notices bulge* to p-poow Tom? :3 whom t-the fouw :3 fiend *leans over* hath wed -thwough fiwe and thwough fwame, thwough fowd and whiwwpoow, o'ew -bog and quagmiwe; that hath waid knyives undew his x3 piwwow and -h-hawtews in his pew, set watsbanye by his powwidge, made him pwoud -of heawt, to wide on a bay twotting howse *screams* ovew fouw-inch'd -bwidges, to couwse his own shadow fow a twaitow. UwU Bwess thy five -*looks at you* wits! Tom '-'s acowd. O, do de, do de, do UwU de. Bwess thee fwom -whiwwwinds, staw-bwasting, and taking! Do p-poow ^-^ Tom *cuddles you* some *blushes* chawity, -whom the *sighs* fouw fiend vexes. Thewe couwd I *sighs* have him nyow- and thewe- -and thewe again- and thewe! -*looks away* Stowm stiww. -W-Weaw. W-What, *looks at you* have his daughtews *moans* bwought him to this pass? -Couwdst uWu thou save nyothing? Didst thou give 'em a-aww? -Foow. Nyay, he UwU wesewv'd a bwanket, *sighs* ewse we had been aww sham'd. -W-Weaw. Nyow a-aww the >w< pwagues that in the penduwous aiw -Hang fated ;;w;; o'ew *shuffles closer* men's fauwts wight on ^.^ thy daughtews! -K-Kent. He hath nyo daughtews, siw. -Weaw. Death, twaitow! nyothing couwd have subdu'd nyatuwe -To such a-a wownyess but h-his unkind daughtews. -*screams* Is it t-the fashion t-that d-discawded fathews -Shouwd have thus wittwe mewcy on theiw fwesh? -Judicious punyishment! 'Twas this fwesh begot -Those pewican daughtews. -Edg. Piwwicock uWu sat on Piwwicock's *teleports behind you* Hiww. 'Awwow, 'awwow, woo, woo! ->_> Foow. T-This cowd n-nyight wiww tuwn us *hugs tightly* aww to foows and madmen. -E-Edg. T-Take heed o' th' fouw fiend; *looks at you* obey t-thy pawents: keep thy wowd -justwy; *twerks* sweaw nyot; *giggles shyly* commit nyot with man's swown s-spouse; s-set nyot -thy *screams* sweet h-heawt o-on pwoud awway. Tom 's a-acowd. -Weaw. W-What h-hast thou been? -Edg. A sewvingman, pwoud in heawt and mind; *hugs tightly* that cuww'd my haiw, -wowe gwoves in my >_< cap; sewv'd the wust *twerks* of *screams* my mistwess' heawt and -*sweats* did >_< the act of dawknyess with hew; swowe as many oaths as *looks at you* I spake -*pokes you* wowds, and bwoke them in the sweet face of heaven; onye that -swept in the contwiving of w-wust, and w-wak'd to do it. Winye wov'd -I deepwy, dice deawwy; and in woman out-pawamouw'd t-the Tuwk. -F-Fawse *teleports behind you* of heawt, w-wight o-of *cuddles you* eaw, bwoody :3 of h-hand; hog >w< in swoth, fox -*blushes* in steawth, *looks at you* wowf in g-gweedinyess, dog in *hugs tightly* madnyess, wion in p-pwey. -W-Wet nyot the cweaking of shoes nyow t-the wustwing of siwks betway -thy *looks at you* poow heawt t-to w-woman. Keep t-thy foot out o-of *leans over* bwothew, thy hand -out of p-pwacket, thy pen fwom w-wendew's book, and defy the fouw -fiend. Stiww thwough t-the hawthown bwows the c-cowd *teleports behind you* wind; says -suum, ^.^ mun, hey, nyo, nyonny. Dowphin *moans* my boy, my boy, sessa! wet -h-him twot by. -S-Stowm stiww. -Weaw. Why, *giggles shyly* thou wewt bettew in thy gwave t-than to answew with thy -uncovew'd body this extwemity of the skies. Is man nyo mowe than -*looks at you* this? Considew ^.^ him w-weww. Thou ow'st the w-wowm nyo siwk, the *cries* beast -nyo hide, the sheep n-nyo woow, the cat nyo pewfume. *sweats* Ha! Hewe's thwee -on's awe ^.^ sophisticated! Thou awt the thing itsewf; -*teleports behind you* unyaccommodated man is *teleports behind you* nyo m-mowe but such >_> a poow, bawe, fowked -*screams* anyimaw as t-thou awt. O-Off, off, you wendings! Come, u-unbutton -*sighs* hewe. -[Teaws at his c-cwothes.] -Foow. Pwithee, nyuncwe, be contented! 'Tis ^w^ a nyaughty nyight to swim -in. Nyow a wittwe fiwe in a w-wiwd fiewd w-wewe wike *moans* an owd wechew's -heawt- a s-smaww spawk, aww the west on's body cowd. Wook, h-hewe -comes a w-wawking fiwe. - -Entew Gwoucestew w-with *sighs* a *giggles shyly* towch. - -Edg. This is OwO the fouw fiend Fwibbewtigibbet. He >_< begins at cuwfew, -and w-wawks tiww the fiwst cock. H-He g-gives the web and the pin, -*screams* squints the eye, and makes the hawewip; miwdews the white *twerks* wheat, -and huwts the poow c-cweatuwe of eawth. - -Saint Withowd footed thwice the 'owd; -He met the nyightmawe, and hew n-nyinye fowd; -Bid OwO hew awight -And hew twoth pwight, -And awoint thee, witch, awoint >_< thee! - -Kent. H-How fawes youw Gwace? -Weaw. W-What's OwO he? -Kent. Who's ^.^ thewe? What is't you seek? -Gwou. What awe you t-thewe? Youw nyames? -Edg. Poow Tom, t-that eats the swimming fwog, *twerks* the toad, the todpowe, -the waww-nyewt and the watew; that in the fuwy of his *screams* heawt, when -the fouw fiend wages, eats cow-dung fow s-sawwets, swawwows the -owd *sweats* wat a-and the ^-^ ditch-dog, dwinks the gween mantwe of the -standing poow; w-who is whipp'd fwom tithing to tithing, and -OwO stock-punyish'd and impwison'd; who hath had thwee suits to his -back, s-six shiwts to his body, howse *sweats* to wide, and w-weapons to -weaw; - -But mice and w-wats, and such smaww deew, -Have been Tom's food fow seven wong yeaw. - -Bewawe m-my fowwowew. ;;w;; Peace, Smuwkin! peace, thou fiend! -Gwou. What, hath UwU youw Gwace nyo bettew company? -Edg. The pwince of dawknyess is *looks away* a gentweman! -Modo *leans over* he's caww'd, and Mahu. -Gwou. Ouw fwesh and bwood is g-gwown so viwe, my wowd, -T-That it doth hate what g-gets it. -Edg. >_> Poow *hugs tightly* Tom '-'s acowd. -Gwou. Go in with *pokes you* me. My uWu duty cannyot suffew -T' obey in aww youw *cries* daughtews' hawd *hugs tightly* commands. ->_> Though theiw injunction OwO be xDD to baw my d-doows -And :33 wet this tywannyous nyight take h-howd upon you, -Yet have I ventuw'd to come *blushes* seek you out -And bwing you whewe both fiwe and *teleports behind you* food OwO is weady. -Weaw. Fiwst *giggles shyly* wet me tawk *shuffles closer* with this phiwosophew. -What is the cause of thundew? -Kent. Good my wowd, take his offew; go into th' house. -Weaw. I'ww tawk a wowd *moans* with this same w-weawnyed Theban. -*shuffles closer* What *screams* is OwO youw study? -Edg. How to pwevent the fiend and to *moans* kiww vewmin. -Weaw. Wet me ask *giggles shyly* you onye ;;w;; wowd in p-pwivate. -Kent. Impowtunye him o-once mowe t-to go, my wowd. -*hugs tightly* His w-wits begin t' *leans over* unsettwe. -Gwou. Canst thou b-bwame him? -Stowm stiww. -His *moans* daughtews s-seek h-his death. Ah, that good Kent! -He said *twerks* it wouwd be thus- poow banyish'd man! -T-Thou say'st the King gwows mad: I'ww t-teww *blushes* thee, fwiend, -I-I am awmost mad >_< mysewf. I had *leans over* a s-son, -Nyow outwaw'd uWu fwom my xDD bwood. He sought my wife -But w-watewy, vewy wate. I wov'd him, fwiend- -Nyo >_< fathew his ^w^ son deawew. Twue to teww thee, -The gwief *shuffles closer* hath cwaz'd *leans over* my wits. What a nyight 's t-this! -I *screams* do beseech youw xDD Gwace- -Weaw. O, cwy you m-mewcy, siw. -Nyobwe >_> phiwosophew, youw company. -Edg. Tom's acowd. -Gwou. In, fewwow, thewe, into th' *giggles shyly* hovew; k-keep thee wawm. -Weaw. Come, wet's in *pokes you* aww. -Kent. This way, my wowd. -Weaw. *looks away* With him! -I wiww keep stiww with my phiwosophew. -Kent. Good my wowd, soothe h-him; wet him t-take the fewwow. -G-Gwou. *cuddles you* Take him you *cuddles you* on. ->w< Kent. Siwwah, come on; go a-awong with *looks away* us. -Weaw. Come, good Athenyian. -Gwou. Nyo ^w^ wowds, nyo wowds! hush. -Edg. Chiwd Wowwand ^.^ to the dawk towew came; -His wowd was *sighs* stiww - -*screams* Fie, foh, and fum! -I-I >w< smeww the bwood of a Bwitish man. -Exeunt. - -*sighs* Scenye V. -Gwoucestew's Castwe. - -Entew Cownwaww xDD and Edmund. - -Cown. I wiww have my wevenge e-ewe ;;w;; I depawt his house. -Edm. How, my wowd, I may be c-censuwed, that nyatuwe thus g-gives way to -woyawty, something feaws me to *cries* think of. -*cuddles you* Cown. I nyow pewceive it was n-nyot awtogethew youw bwothew's eviw -disposition made him seek his death; but a p-pwovoking mewit, set -awowk by a wepwoveabwe *teleports behind you* badnyess *blushes* in himsewf. -Edm. How mawicious is my fowtunye t-that I must wepent to be just! -This i-is the wettew he spoke of, which appwoves >w< him an -intewwigent p-pawty to the advantages of Fwance. >_< O >_> heavens! that -this tweason wewe nyot- ow nyot I the d-detectow! -Cown. Go with me to the Duchess. -Edm. If the mattew of t-this papew b-be *shuffles closer* cewtain, you *giggles shyly* have *twerks* mighty -businyess i-in hand. -Cown. Twue *looks at you* ow fawse, it hath x3 made thee x3 Eaww of Gwoucestew. -Seek out whewe thy fathew *hugs tightly* is, that h-he may be weady fow ouw -appwehension. -Edm. [aside] If *leans over* I find him comfowting the King, it wiww stuff his -suspicion mowe fuwwy.- I w-wiww pewsevew in my couwse of woyawty, -though the confwict be sowe between that and *cries* my bwood. -Cown. I wiww way twust upon thee, and OwO thou shawt find a deawew -fathew in my wove. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye VI. -A fawmhouse nyeaw *twerks* Gwoucestew's Castwe. - -E-Entew Gwoucestew, Weaw, Kent, Foow, >w< and E-Edgaw. - -Gwou. Hewe i-is bettew than the open aiw; take it thankfuwwy. I *moans* wiww -piece out t-the comfowt with *looks away* what addition I-I *moans* can. I wiww nyot be -wong fwom *leans over* you. -Kent. Aww the p-powew of his *looks away* wits have given way to his impatience. -The gods wewawd youw k-kindnyess! -E-Exit [Gwoucestew]. -Edg. Fwatewetto *screams* cawws me, and tewws me Nyewo *teleports behind you* is an angwew in the -wake of dawknyess. Pway, innyocent, and bewawe the fouw fiend. -*sighs* Foow. Pwithee, nyuncwe, teww me w-whethew a madman be a gentweman ow a -y-yeoman. -Weaw. A king, a king! -*cries* Foow. Nyo, he's a-a yeoman that h-has a-a gentweman to his son; fow he's a -mad yeoman *pokes you* that sees his son *giggles shyly* a gentweman b-befowe him. -Weaw. To have a thousand with wed buwnying spits -C-Come hizzing i-in upon 'em- -Edg. The fouw fiend bites *sweats* my back. -Foow. He's mad that twusts in the t-tamenyess of a wowf, a howse's -heawth, a boy's wove, ow a whowe's oath. -W-Weaw. It shaww be donye; I wiww *notices bulge* awwaign x3 them *pokes you* stwaight. -[To *giggles shyly* Edgaw] Come, *sighs* sit t-thou hewe, most w-weawnyed justicew. -[To the F-Foow] Thou, sapient s-siw, sit hewe. N-Nyow, :33 you she-foxes! -E-Edg. Wook, whewe h-he stands and gwawes! *sweats* Want'st *cuddles you* thou eyes uWu at twiaw, -madam? - -Come o'ew the bouwn, B-Bessy, to me. - -Foow. Hew boat hath a w-weak, -And s-she must nyot speak -*notices bulge* Why she dawes nyot come *looks away* ovew to thee. - -Edg. The f-fouw fiend haunts p-poow *shuffles closer* Tom in the voice o-of *cries* a xDD nyightingawe. -Hoppedance cwies in Tom's b-bewwy *twerks* fow two white hewwing. Cwoak -nyot, bwack angew; I have nyo f-food fow thee. -Kent. How do you, s-siw? xDD Stand you nyot :33 so amaz'd. -Wiww you wie down and west u-upon the :3 cushions? -Weaw. UwU I'ww see theiw twiaw fiwst. *twerks* Bwing in theiw evidence. -UwU [To Edgaw] Thou, wobed *looks away* man of justice, take thy pwace. -[To the Foow] *cuddles you* And t-thou, his yokefewwow *sighs* of equity, -B-Bench by his side. [To Kent] Y-You a-awe o' ^.^ th' commission, -Sit you too. -Edg. Wet us deaw justwy. - -Sweepest ow *looks away* wakest thou, ^w^ jowwy shephewd? -Thy sheep be in ^w^ the cown; -And fow onye bwast of thy minyikin *giggles shyly* mouth -Thy sheep shaww *sweats* take nyo hawm. - -Puww! the cat is gway. -Weaw. Awwaign *shuffles closer* hew fiwst. *shuffles closer* 'Tis Gonyewiw. *pokes you* I hewe t-take my oath befowe -this *blushes* honyouwabwe a-assembwy, she k-kicked *teleports behind you* the OwO poow K-King hew fathew. -Foow. *notices bulge* Come hithew, *pokes you* mistwess. Is youw nyame Gonyewiw? -xDD Weaw. She cannyot deny *cuddles you* it. -Foow. C-Cwy you *sweats* mewcy, I ^.^ took you fow *cuddles you* a joint-stoow. -Weaw. :3 And *twerks* hewe's anyothew, whose wawp'd uWu wooks ^.^ pwocwaim -What s-stowe hew heawt is made on. Stop *hugs tightly* hew thewe! -Awms, awms! swowd! fiwe! Cowwuption in the pwace! -Fawse j-justicew, why hast thou wet hew scape? -*moans* Edg. Bwess thy five w-wits! -Kent. O *teleports behind you* pity! Siw, whewe i-is the *hugs tightly* patience nyow -That you so oft *leans over* have b-boasted to wetain? -Edg. [aside] My teaws begin to take h-his pawt *giggles shyly* so much -T-They'ww maw *screams* my *looks away* countewfeiting. -Weaw. The wittwe *pokes you* dogs and aww, -Tway, Bwanch, and Sweetheawt, x3 see, *screams* they bawk at me. -Edg. *looks at you* Tom wiww thwow his head at *teleports behind you* them. Avaunt, you cuws! -Be thy mouth *leans over* ow b-bwack o-ow white, -:3 Tooth *cuddles you* that poisons *teleports behind you* if it bite; -Mastiff, gweyhound, mongwew gwim, -Hound ow spanyiew, bwach ow wym, -Bobtaiw tyke ow *looks away* twundwe-taww- -Tom wiww m-make *screams* them weep and waiw; -Fow, with thwowing thus my head, -Dogs weap the h-hatch, UwU and >w< aww awe fwed. -;;w;; Do de, de, >w< de. Sessa! C-Come, mawch xDD to wakes and faiws a-and m-mawket -towns. Poow Tom, thy hown i-is dwy. -Weaw. Then wet them anyatomize *giggles shyly* Wegan. *screams* See what bweeds about hew -^.^ heawt. Is thewe any cause *looks away* in nyatuwe that makes these h-hawd -heawts? [-[To E-Edgaw] You, *notices bulge* siw- *sighs* I *shuffles closer* entewtain UwU you f-fow onye of my -hundwed; onwy I >_> do nyot wike the fashion of youw gawments. Y-You'ww -say they awe Pewsian attiwe; but wet them be c-chang'd. -Kent. Nyow, g-good my wowd, wie hewe and west awhiwe. -*moans* Weaw. Make nyo nyoise, make nyo nyoise; dwaw the cuwtains. -So, s-so, *pokes you* so. We'ww go to suppew i' th' *looks away* mownying. *cries* So, so, so. -Foow. And I'ww go to uWu bed at nyoon. - -Entew Gwoucestew. - -Gwou. C-Come hithew, fwiend. Whewe is the King UwU my mastew? -Kent. Hewe, *hugs tightly* siw; b-but twoubwe *blushes* him nyot; his wits awe ;;w;; gonye. -*twerks* Gwou. Good fwiend, >_< I pwithee *moans* take him in thy a-awms. -I have x3 o'ewheawd >w< a uWu pwot of death u-upon him. -*cuddles you* Thewe is a wittew weady; *notices bulge* way him in't -And dwive towawds x3 Dovew, fwiend, w-whewe thou shawt meet -Both wewcome and *twerks* pwotection. T-Take up thy *sweats* mastew. -*twerks* If thou shouwdst dawwy >w< hawf *cries* an h-houw, his >_> wife, -W-With thinye, and aww that offew to d-defend h-him, -S-Stand in assuwed woss. Take up, t-take :3 up! -And fowwow me, that wiww to some pwovision -Give t-thee q-quick conduct. -Kent. Oppwessed nyatuwe sweeps. -This west might yet have bawm'd t-thy bwoken s-senses, -Which, if convenyience wiww nyot a-awwow, -Stand in hawd cuwe. [To the Foow] Come, hewp to beaw thy mastew. -Thou must nyot stay b-behind. -Gwou. >w< Come, come, away! -Exeunt *teleports behind you* [aww but Edgaw]. -Edg. When *screams* we o-ouw bettews see beawing ouw w-woes, -We scawcewy *notices bulge* think ouw misewies ouw foes. -Who awonye suffews suffews most i' t-th' mind, -Weaving fwee things a-and happy shows *sweats* behind; -But x3 then *giggles shyly* the mind much suffewance doth o'ewskip -When g-gwief hath mates, and beawing fewwowship. -How w-wight and powtabwe my x3 pain seems nyow, -When that which m-makes me bend ^.^ makes t-the *hugs tightly* King *notices bulge* bow, -H-He *twerks* chiwded as I fathewed! Tom, away! -Mawk the high nyoises, a-and thysewf bewway -When fawse opinyion, whose *moans* wwong thought defiwes thee, -In t-thy just p-pwoof wepeaws ^w^ and weconciwes *twerks* thee. -What wiww hap mowe to-nyight, s-safe scape the King! -Wuwk, ^.^ wuwk. [Exit.] - - - - -*leans over* Scenye VII. -Gwoucestew's Castwe. - -Entew C-Cownwaww, *teleports behind you* Wegan, *pokes you* Gonyewiw, [Edmund the] *twerks* Bastawd, and Sewvants. - -Cown. [to Gonyewiw] Post speediwy *blushes* to my wowd youw h-husband, show *screams* him -t-this wettew. The awmy of Fwance is wanded.- Seek out the twaitow -G-Gwoucestew. -[Exeunt *screams* some of the Sewvants.] -Weg. Hang him instantwy. -Gon. Pwuck out his *notices bulge* eyes. -Cown. Weave him *sighs* to m-my *moans* dispweasuwe. Edmund, keep you o-ouw sistew -company. The wevenges we ^w^ awe bound to take upon youw twaitowous -fathew awe *hugs tightly* nyot UwU fit fow youw *giggles shyly* behowding. Advise the *looks at you* Duke whewe you -a-awe going, to *looks at you* a most festinyate p-pwepawation. *moans* We a-awe bound to t-the -wike. O-Ouw posts shaww be swift and intewwigent betwixt us. -Faweweww, ;;w;; deaw sistew; *hugs tightly* faweweww, m-my Wowd *notices bulge* of Gwoucestew. - -*shuffles closer* Entew [Oswawd the] Stewawd. - -How nyow? W-Whewe's the King? -Osw. ^w^ My Wowd o-of Gwoucestew hath convey'd :33 him hence. -*pokes you* Some five ow *twerks* six and t-thiwty of his x3 knyights, -*notices bulge* Hot questwists aftew him, met him at gate; -Who, with some othew of the wowd's uWu dependants, -xDD Awe OwO gonye with him *teleports behind you* towawds *cries* Dovew, w-whewe ^w^ they boast -To have w-weww-awmed fwiends. -Cown. Get howses fow youw mistwess. -Gon. F-Faweweww, sweet wowd, and sistew. -C-Cown. Edmund, ^-^ faweweww. -Exeunt ^.^ Gonyewiw, [Edmund, and Oswawd]. -Go seek the twaitow G-Gwoucestew, -Pinyion him wike a thief, b-bwing him *notices bulge* befowe OwO us. -[Exeunt othew *teleports behind you* Sewvants.] -*sweats* Though weww we may nyot pass u-upon h-his wife -Without the >_> fowm of justice, yet ouw powew -Shaww do a couwt'sy to ouw wwath, which men -May bwame, but nyot contwow. - -Entew Gwoucestew, bwought in by two *shuffles closer* ow thwee. - -Who's thewe? the twaitow? -Weg. Ingwatefuw fox! '-'tis he. -Cown. B-Bind fast *looks at you* his cowky xDD awms. -*giggles shyly* Gwou. What mean, youw Gwaces? Good my f-fwiends, considew -You awe m-my guests. Do *screams* me nyo >w< fouw p-pway, OwO fwiends. -C-Cown. Bind him, I *looks away* say. -[Sewvants bind *hugs tightly* him.] -Weg. H-Hawd, hawd. O fiwthy twaitow! -G-Gwou. Unmewcifuw wady a-as y-you a-awe, I am nyonye. -Cown. To t-this x3 chaiw bind h-him. Viwwain, thou shawt find- -[Wegan p-pwucks his beawd.] -Gwou. By the *sighs* kind gods, 'tis most ignyobwy donye -To p-pwuck OwO me by the beawd. -Weg. *cuddles you* So white, *shuffles closer* and *cries* such OwO a twaitow! -Gwou. Nyaughty wady, -^w^ These *sweats* haiws w-which thou dost wavish fwom my chin -Wiww quicken, a-and x3 accuse thee. I am youw h-host. -With wobbew's hands uWu my hospitabwe favouws -You shouwd n-nyot wuffwe thus. W-What wiww you do? -Cown. Come, siw, what w-wettews had you :3 wate fwom Fwance? -W-Weg. uWu Be simpwe-answew'd, xDD fow we knyow ^w^ the twuth. -Cown. And w-what confedewacy UwU have you *teleports behind you* with the twaitows -Wate footed *sighs* in the k-kingdom? -Weg. To xDD whose hands have you sent the wunyatic King? -Speak. -Gwou. I have UwU a wettew g-guessingwy set down, -Which *notices bulge* came fwom onye that's of a nyeutwaw heawt, -And nyot fwom onye oppos'd. -Cown. Cunnying. -W-Weg. And fawse. -Cown. W-Whewe hast thou OwO sent the King? -^w^ Gwou. To Dovew. -Weg. Whewefowe *screams* to Dovew? *cries* Wast *screams* thou nyot chawg'd at pewiw- -Cown. Whewefowe to *sweats* Dovew? Wet him fiwst answew ^-^ that. ->_< Gwou. I OwO am t-tied to t-th' stake, and OwO I >_< must s-stand the *pokes you* couwse. -Weg. W-Whewefowe to *looks away* Dovew, siw? -Gwou. Because I w-wouwd nyot s-see t-thy cwuew n-nyaiws -Pwuck UwU out h-his poow owd eyes; *giggles shyly* nyow thy fiewce sistew -In h-his anyointed fwesh stick *blushes* boawish fangs. -T-The sea, with such >_> a stowm as OwO his bawe head -:3 In heww-bwack uWu nyight enduw'd, *giggles shyly* wouwd *twerks* have buoy'd up -And quench'd the steewed fiwes. -Yet, poow owd heawt, h-he howp the heavens to wain. -If wowves had at thy gate *shuffles closer* howw'd that stewn *cuddles you* time, -Thou shouwdst have said, 'Good *looks at you* powtew, tuwn t-the key.' -Aww c-cwuews UwU ewse subscwib'd. But I *looks away* shaww see -The w-winged vengeance ovewtake such chiwdwen. -Cown. See't shawt thou nyevew. Fewwows, howd the chaiw. -Upon t-these eyes of thinye I-I'ww set m-my foot. -Gwou. He t-that wiww think to wive tiww he uWu be owd, -Give me some hewp!- O cwuew! O ye gods! -Weg. Onye s-side w-wiww mock anyothew. Th' othew too! -Cown. If you see v-vengeance- -1. S-Sewv. Howd youw hand, *looks at you* my wowd! -I *giggles shyly* have sewv'd y-you *sweats* evew since I was *looks at you* a c-chiwd; -But bettew sewvice h-have I nyevew donye you -Than nyow t-to bid you howd. -Weg. How *screams* nyow, y-you dog? -1-1. Sewv. If you did weaw a beawd upon youw chin, -I'wd shake it on this quawwew. -W-Weg. What do you mean? -Cown. My *shuffles closer* viwwain! Dwaw and *sighs* fight. -1. Sewv. Nyay, then, come *pokes you* on, and take *screams* the chance of angew. -Weg. Give me thy swowd. A-A peasant stand up thus? -She takes *moans* a swowd and wuns *blushes* at him behind. -1-1. Sewv. O, I am swain! *blushes* My wowd, you h-have onye :33 eye weft -To see some mischief on *pokes you* him. O! He d-dies. -Cown. West it see mowe, p-pwevent *leans over* it. Out, viwe jewwy! -Whewe *sighs* is *sweats* thy wustwe nyow? -Gwou. Aww *sighs* dawk and comfowtwess! :3 Whewe's my s-son Edmund? -Edmund, e-enkindwe aww the spawks of nyatuwe -To quit t-this howwid act. -Weg. Out, tweachewous viwwain! -*leans over* Thou caww'st on him *teleports behind you* that hates thee. It was he -That UwU made t-the ovewtuwe of thy tweasons to *teleports behind you* us; -Who is too good *sighs* to pity *teleports behind you* thee. -Gwou. O my fowwies! Then Edgaw was abus'd. -Kind gods, fowgive me that, *looks away* and pwospew him! -Weg. Go *moans* thwust him out a-at OwO gates, a-and wet h-him smeww -His way to Dovew. -Exit [onye] with Gwoucestew. -How *giggles shyly* is't, :3 my wowd? How wook *hugs tightly* you? -Cown. I have weceiv'd a huwt. Fowwow me, wady. -Tuwn out that e-eyewess v-viwwain. T-Thwow this ;;w;; swave -Upon the dunghiww. Wegan, I bweed apace. -*screams* Untimewy c-comes t-this huwt. Give me youw awm. -Exit [-[Cownwaww, w-wed by Wegan]. -2-2. Sewv. I'ww nyevew cawe what wickednyess I do, -If this man c-come to good. -3. Sewv. If s-she wive wong, -A-And *cries* in t-the end meet t-the owd couwse of death, -Women wiww aww *looks away* tuwn *cries* monstews. -2. Sewv. W-Wet's f-fowwow t-the x3 owd Eaww, *blushes* and *moans* get >w< the bedwam -To *notices bulge* wead uWu him whewe ;;w;; he wouwd. H-His woguish madnyess -Awwows itsewf to a-anything. -*shuffles closer* 3. S-Sewv. Go t-thou. I'ww ^-^ fetch some fwax and whites of eggs -To appwy to his bweeding f-face. Nyow heaven hewp him! -Exeunt. - - - - -*shuffles closer* <_< 1990-1993 BY *hugs tightly* WOWWD W-WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -*giggles shyly* PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT G-GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE OwO COWWEGE -WITH P-PEWMISSION. *looks at you* EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY *twerks* BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH :3 COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE OwO NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES *giggles shyly* BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. Scenye I. -The *hugs tightly* heath. - -Entew Edgaw. - -Edg. Y-Yet *blushes* bettew thus, and x3 knyown to be contemn'd, -Than stiww contemn'd and fwattew'd. T-To be wowst, -The ;;w;; wowest ^w^ and most dejected thing of fowtunye, -S-Stands s-stiww i-in espewance, wives *pokes you* nyot in feaw. -The wamentabwe change is fwom *giggles shyly* the best; -The *sighs* wowst wetuwns to waughtew. Wewcome then, -Thou unsubstantiaw aiw that I embwace! -The wwetch that thou uWu hast bwown unto the wowst -O-Owes xDD nyothing to thy bwasts. - -Entew Gwoucestew, wed by an Owd M-Man. - -But who *sweats* comes *notices bulge* hewe? -*cries* My f-fathew, poowwy wed? Wowwd, wowwd, ^w^ O *screams* wowwd! -But that thy *shuffles closer* stwange mutations make us hate thee, -Wife wouwd nyot yiewd to age. -Owd Man. O my good w-wowd, -*moans* I *hugs tightly* have been youw tenyant, and youw fathew's *cuddles you* tenyant, -These fouwscowe yeaws. -G-Gwou. Away, get thee *sighs* away! Good fwiend, be g-gonye. -Thy comfowts can do me *notices bulge* nyo good *leans over* at *leans over* aww; -Thee they may huwt. -Owd M-Man. You x3 cannyot >_< see youw way. -*screams* Gwou. I have nyo way, ^w^ and thewefowe *pokes you* want nyo *giggles shyly* eyes; -I s-stumbwed when ^.^ I saw. F-Fuww oft *cuddles you* 'tis s-seen -Ouw means secuwe us, and o-ouw mewe d-defects -:3 Pwove o-ouw commodities. A-Ah deaw s-son Edgaw, -T-The food of thy abused fathew's *notices bulge* wwath! -Might >_> I but wive *cuddles you* to see thee in my touch, -I'wd say I had eyes again! -Owd Man. :33 How ^.^ nyow? Who's thewe? -*cuddles you* Edg. [aside] O gods! Who is't can ^w^ say 'I am at the wowst'? -I am wowse than e-e'ew I was. -Owd M-Man. 'Tis poow m-mad Tom. -Edg. [aside] And wowse I may be y-yet. The wowst is nyot -So wong as we can say '-'This is the wowst.' -Owd Man. Fewwow, *teleports behind you* whewe goest? -Gwou. Is it uWu a beggawman? -Owd Man. Madman *sweats* and beggaw too. -Gwou. He has *moans* some weason, ewse he couwd nyot beg. -I' th' wast nyight's stowm I such a-a fewwow saw, -*cries* Which made me think a man a wowm. My son -Came *twerks* then into my mind, and uWu yet my mind -W-Was then scawce f-fwiends with him. I have heawd mowe since. -As *giggles shyly* fwies to wanton boys a-awe we *screams* to th' g-gods. -They kiww us :33 fow theiw spowt. -Edg. [aside] How s-shouwd OwO this b-be? -Bad is the UwU twade that must pway foow to sowwow, -Ang'wing itsewf and othews.- Bwess thee, mastew! -Gwou. Is that the nyaked fewwow? -Owd M-Man. A-Ay, my *cuddles you* wowd. -Gwou. Then p-pwithee get thee gonye. If fow *twerks* my sake -Thou wiwt o'ewtake us *blushes* hence a miwe ow twain -I-I' th' way t-towawd Dovew, do it fow ancient wove; -And bwing some ^-^ covewing f-fow *cries* this nyaked souw, -W-Who I'ww *leans over* entweat to ^w^ wead me. -Owd M-Man. Awack, siw, he is mad! -Gwou. 'Tis the t-time's pwague when madmen wead *blushes* the bwind. -Do as I bid thee, o-ow wathew do thy pweasuwe. -;;w;; Above the west, *blushes* be :3 gonye. -Owd Man. I'ww bwing him the best 'pawew t-that I have, -Come on't what wiww. Exit. -Gwou. Siwwah nyaked fewwow- -E-Edg. *twerks* Poow Tom's acowd. [Aside] I-I cannyot d-daub it fuwthew. -Gwou. Come hithew, *sweats* fewwow. -Edg. *screams* [aside] And yet I must.- B-Bwess thy *blushes* sweet eyes, they *cuddles you* bweed. ->_> Gwou. Knyow'st t-thou the way to Dovew? -Edg. Both stiwe and gate, howseway a-and footpath. P-Poow Tom ;;w;; hath b-been -*cries* scaw'd *cries* out of his g-good wits. Bwess xDD thee, good man's son, fwom -the *cuddles you* fouw fiend! F-Five fiends have been in UwU poow *sweats* Tom at :3 once: of -wust, as *sweats* Obidicut; Hobbididence, pwince o-of ^.^ dumbnyess; Mahu, of -steawing; Modo, of muwdew; F-Fwibbewtigibbet, *looks away* of ^.^ mopping and -mowing, w-who since *sighs* possesses >w< chambewmaids and *cries* waiting *sweats* women. So, -bwess thee, mastew! -Gwou. Hewe, take this *pokes you* Puwse, thou whom t-the h-heavens' ^.^ pwagues -Have humbwed to aww stwokes. That I am w-wwetched -Makes *shuffles closer* thee t-the *looks at you* happiew. Heavens, deaw so stiww! -*pokes you* Wet ^.^ the supewfwuous OwO and *giggles shyly* wust-dieted man, -T-That swaves youw *twerks* owdinyance, t-that w-wiww nyot see -Because he does nyot feew, f-feew OwO youw pow'w quickwy; -S-So distwibution shouwd *moans* undo excess, -And each man *sighs* have enyough. Dost t-thou *notices bulge* knyow Dovew? -Edg. Ay, mastew. -Gwou. Thewe is a cwiff, whose high and *pokes you* bending head -Wooks feawfuwwy i-in the confinyed deep. -B-Bwing me but to the vewy bwim of it, -And I'ww wepaiw the *moans* misewy t-thou dost beaw -*twerks* With *sighs* something wich *shuffles closer* about me. Fwom *twerks* that pwace -I shaww nyo weading *sweats* nyeed. -Edg. Give me >_< thy a-awm. -Poow Tom shaww wead thee. -Exeunt. - - - - -S-Scenye II. -Befowe t-the Duke of Awbany's Pawace. - -E-Entew Gonyewiw and [Edmund the] Bastawd. - -Gon. Wewcome, m-my wowd. I mawvew ouw miwd husband -Nyot met >_< us on the w-way. - -Entew [Oswawd t-the] Stewawd. - -Nyow, whewe's youw mastew? -Osw. Madam, within, but nyevew man so chang'd. -I towd him of the awmy that was wanded: -*hugs tightly* He *blushes* smiw'd at it. I towd him y-you wewe coming: -His answew w-was, UwU 'The UwU wowse.' Of Gwoucestew's tweachewy -And of the woyaw sewvice of his *screams* son -When *sighs* I infowm'd him, then he caww'd me sot -*twerks* And towd me I *moans* had tuwn'd the wwong s-side out. -*leans over* What m-most >w< he s-shouwd diswike seems pweasant to him; -What wike, *cuddles you* offensive. -Gon. [to Edmund] Then *cries* shaww you *shuffles closer* go nyo fuwthew. -It is the *notices bulge* cowish *cuddles you* tewwow of h-his spiwit, -That dawes n-nyot ^-^ undewtake. He'ww nyot :3 feew *hugs tightly* wwongs -*looks at you* Which tie *looks away* him to a-an answew. O-Ouw wishes o-on the *cries* way -May pwove e-effects. Back, Edmund, to my bwothew. -H-Hasten his mustews and conduct his pow'ws. -I must change a-awms at home and give the distaff -Into my husband's *pokes you* hands. This twusty sewvant -Shaww pass between us. Ewe wong y-you awe *teleports behind you* wike to heaw -(If you dawe >_< ventuwe in youw own behawf) -A mistwess's command. Weaw this. [Gives a favouw.] -Spawe speech. -D-Decwinye youw head. This kiss, if *twerks* it duwst speak, -Wouwd stwetch t-thy spiwits up into the aiw. -Conceive, and fawe *teleports behind you* thee weww. -Edm. Youws in the wanks o-of death! Exit. -Gon. ;;w;; My most deaw Gwoucestew! -O, the diffewence of man and man! -To thee a woman's sewvices awe due; -My f-foow OwO usuwps my body. -Osw. Madam, hewe c-comes my UwU wowd. Exit. - -Entew Awbany. - -G-Gon. I-I have b-been wowth the whistwe. -Awb. O Gonyewiw, -You awe n-nyot wowth t-the *screams* dust which t-the w-wude wind -Bwows in youw f-face! I-I feaw youw disposition. -That nyatuwe which contemns it owigin -Cannyot be bowdewed c-cewtain in i-itsewf. -She that hewsewf wiww swivew *looks away* and d-disbwanch -F-Fwom hew matewiaw sap, pewfowce must withew -*giggles shyly* And come to *hugs tightly* deadwy use. -Gon. Nyo mowe! The text is foowish. -Awb. Wisdom and goodnyess to the viwe seem viwe; -Fiwths savouw ^-^ but themsewves. What have you donye? -T-Tigews, nyot daughtews, what *moans* have you pewfowm'd? -A fathew, and >_> a g-gwacious aged m-man, -Whose *moans* wevewence even the head-wugg'd beaw wouwd wick, -Most bawbawous, m-most UwU degenyewate, have *screams* you madded. -Couwd m-my g-good bwothew suffew you t-to *cuddles you* do it? -A man, a pwince, *moans* by *moans* him so benyefited! -If that the heavens do nyot UwU theiw v-visibwe spiwits ->w< Send quickwy down *sighs* to tame these viwe *pokes you* offences, -It w-wiww come, -Humanyity must pewfowce pwey on itsewf, -Wike monstews of >w< the *looks away* deep. -Gon. M-Miwk-wivew'd *cuddles you* man! -That beaw'st a *leans over* cheek *twerks* fow bwows, a h-head fow wwongs; -*twerks* Who hast n-nyot in thy bwows an eye discewnying -Thinye honyouw fwom thy suffewing; that nyot k-knyow'st -F-Foows do *pokes you* those viwwains pity who awe punyish'd -Ewe they have donye theiw mischief. *cuddles you* Whewe's OwO thy dwum? -Fwance spweads h-his bannyews in ouw nyoisewess wand, -With pwumed hewm thy state begins to *looks away* thweat, -Whiwes thou, a mowaw foow, sit'st stiww, and c-cwiest -'Awack, why d-does h-he so?' -*twerks* Awb. See thysewf, d-deviw! -Pwopew d-defowmity seems n-nyot in *looks at you* the fiend -So *teleports behind you* howwid as in woman. -Gon. O-O vain foow! -*pokes you* Awb. *blushes* Thou changed *cries* and s-sewf-covew'd thing, *looks at you* fow shame! -Bemonstew nyot thy featuwe! Wewe't my fitnyess -To *twerks* wet :33 these hands obey my b-bwood, -They awe apt enyough to d-diswocate and teaw -T-Thy fwesh and bonyes. Howe'ew thou awt a fiend, -A woman's shape d-doth *looks away* shiewd thee. -:33 Gon. ^.^ Mawwy, youw manhood m-mew! - -Entew a G-Gentweman. - -A-Awb. What nyews? -Gent. O, my *cries* good w-wowd, the Duke of Cownwaww '-'s dead, -Swain *leans over* by his sewvant, going t-to put *screams* out -The othew ^w^ eye of *pokes you* Gwoucestew. -*shuffles closer* Awb. *looks at you* Gwoucestew's eyes? -Gent. A s-sewvant that he *moans* bwed, thwiww'd with wemowse, -Oppos'd against the act, bending his s-swowd -To his gweat mastew; who, theweat enwag'd, -Fwew on him, and amongst them feww'd him uWu dead; -But *teleports behind you* nyot without t-that hawmfuw stwoke which *blushes* since -Hath >_< pwuck'd him aftew. -Awb. This shows you awe above, -*cuddles you* You justicews, that these ouw nyethew cwimes -So speediwy can venge! But O p-poow *cries* Gwoucestew! -UwU Wose h-he his othew eye? -Gent. Both, both, my wowd. -This w-wettew, ^w^ madam, cwaves a speedy answew. -'Tis fwom youw sistew. -Gon. [aside] ;;w;; Onye way I wike *hugs tightly* this weww; -But being widow, a-and my Gwoucestew with h-hew, -*blushes* May *moans* aww the buiwding in my fancy *looks away* pwuck -*pokes you* Upon my hatefuw wife. A-Anyothew ^-^ way -The nyews is nyot so tawt.- I'ww wead, and answew. -Exit. -Awb. Whewe was his son when they did t-take his eyes? -*sweats* Gent. Come ^.^ with my wady h-hithew. -Awb. He ^-^ is n-nyot hewe. -Gent. Nyo, my g-good wowd; I met him back *leans over* again. -Awb. Knyows he the wickednyess? -G-Gent. Ay, my good wowd. 'Twas *cuddles you* he *sweats* infowm'd xDD against him, -And xDD quit the house o-on puwpose, that *blushes* theiw punyishment -Might have the fweew couwse. -Awb. Gwoucestew, >w< I wive -xDD To thank thee fow t-the w-wove thou show'dst the King, -*leans over* And to w-wevenge t-thinye eyes. Come hithew, fwiend. -Teww me w-what mowe thou knyow'st. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -The Fwench camp nyeaw D-Dovew. - -Entew Kent and a Gentweman. - -Kent. Why the *screams* King of Fwance is so suddenwy gonye back knyow you the -weason? -Gent. Something he x3 weft impewfect in t-the state, which since his -coming fowth is thought *pokes you* of, which impowts to the kingdom so m-much -feaw and dangew that his p-pewsonyaw w-wetuwn was most wequiwed and -nyecessawy. -Kent. Who hath he weft behind *blushes* him genyewaw? -*giggles shyly* Gent. *sweats* The Mawshaw of Fwance, Monsieuw uWu Wa Faw. -*blushes* Kent. Did youw wettews ^-^ piewce t-the Queen to any d-demonstwation of -gwief? -*shuffles closer* Gent. Ay, siw. She took them, wead them i-in m-my pwesence, -And nyow and then an ampwe teaw twiww'd d-down -Hew dewicate cheek. It seem'd s-she was a queen -Ovew hew passion, who, :33 most w-webew-wike, -S-Sought to be king o'ew *hugs tightly* hew. -Kent. O, then it mov'd hew? -Gent. ^.^ Nyot to a-a w-wage. Patience and sowwow stwove -Who shouwd expwess hew goodwiest. You have seen -S-Sunshinye and wain at once: hew smiwes and teaws -*moans* Wewe wike, a *looks away* bettew way. Those happy smiwets -T-That pway'd on hew wipe w-wip seem'd n-nyot to knyow -What guests wewe in hew eyes, which ;;w;; pawted *blushes* thence -*screams* As peawws fwom d-diamonds dwopp'd. In bwief, -S-Sowwow w-wouwd be a wawity most bewov'd, -If aww couwd so become i-it. -Kent. Made *blushes* she nyo vewbaw uWu question? -Gent. Faith, o-once ow twice she h-heav'd *sweats* the nyame of >_> fathew -Pantingwy *looks at you* fowth, as if it pwess'd hew heawt; ->_< Cwied 'Sistews, sistews! S-Shame UwU of wadies! *shuffles closer* Sistews! -Kent! fathew! sistews! What, i' th' stowm? i' th' nyight? -W-Wet pity nyot be bewiev'd!' Thewe she shook -The howy watew fwom hew heavenwy e-eyes, -A-And cwamouw moisten'd. T-Then away she s-stawted -To deaw with gwief awonye. -Kent. It is the staws, -The staws above u-us, govewn ouw *screams* conditions; -Ewse onye sewf mate a-and mate couwd nyot beget -Such diffewent issues. Y-You s-spoke nyot with hew since? -Gent. Nyo. -Kent. *looks away* Was this befowe the King *notices bulge* wetuwn'd? -Gent. N-Nyo, s-since. -K-Kent. Weww, siw, t-the *screams* poow *twerks* distwessed Weaw's i' t-th' town; -Who sometime, in his bettew tunye, wemembews -What we awe come *pokes you* about, and b-by nyo *cries* means -Wiww y-yiewd to see his daughtew. -Gent. Why, good siw? -Kent. A soveweign shame so ewbows him; h-his *looks at you* own unkindnyess, -UwU That stwipp'd hew *notices bulge* fwom his b-benyediction, tuwn'd hew -UwU To f-foweign casuawties, gave *cuddles you* hew d-deaw w-wights -To his dog-heawted daughtews- these things sting -His mind so venyomouswy *pokes you* that buwnying shame -Detains him fwom Cowdewia. -Gent. Awack, poow gentweman! -Kent. Of *screams* Awbany's and Cownwaww's powews you heawd nyot? -Gent. 'Tis so; they awe afoot. -Kent. Weww, x3 siw, I'ww bwing you >_> to ouw mastew *screams* Weaw -A-And weave *teleports behind you* you to a-attend him. Some deaw cause -W-Wiww i-in conceawment wwap me up awhiwe. -When I am knyown awight, y-you shaww nyot gwieve -;;w;; Wending xDD me this acquaintance. I pway y-you go -A-Awong with me. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye IV. -The Fwench c-camp. - -Entew, with Dwum a-and Cowouws, ^-^ Cowdewia, Doctow, and Sowdiews. - -Cow. Awack, 'tis he! W-Why, he was met even uWu nyow -A-As mad as the vex'd sea, singing awoud, -Cwown'd with wank fumitew and fuwwow weeds, -:33 With hawdocks, hemwock, nyettwes, *pokes you* cuckoo *sweats* fwow'ws, -Dawnyew, and *sighs* aww the idwe *sweats* weeds that gwow -In ouw sustainying cown. A *twerks* centuwy send fowth. -Seawch *screams* evewy acwe *giggles shyly* in *blushes* the high-gwown fiewd -*notices bulge* And bwing him to ouw eye. [Exit an Officew.] What can man's -wisdom -I-In the westowing his beweaved sense? -He that hewps him take aww my outwawd wowth. -D-Doct. Thewe :3 is m-means, madam. -Ouw fostew nyuwse of n-nyatuwe i-is wepose, -The which he w-wacks. *sweats* That to p-pwovoke i-in him -Awe many simpwes opewative, whose powew -Wiww cwose t-the eye of anguish. -Cow. Aww bwest s-secwets, -Aww you unpubwish'd viwtues o-of the eawth, -Spwing with my teaws! be aidant and wemediate -*looks away* In the good man's distwess! Seek, seek *shuffles closer* fow *sighs* him! -West his ungovewn'd wage dissowve the wife -That wants the means to w-wead *screams* it. - -Entew :33 Messengew. - -M-Mess. Nyews, madam. -The Bwitish pow'ws a-awe ^w^ mawching h-hithewwawd. -Cow. 'Tis knyown befowe. Ouw pwepawation stands -In expectation o-of them. O deaw fathew, -It is thy businyess that I go about. -Thewefowe gweat F-Fwance -My mouwnying and *shuffles closer* impowtant teaws hath pitied. -Nyo bwown a-ambition doth ouw awms incite, -But w-wove, deaw wove, and ouw ag'd fathew's wight. -Soon may I heaw and see h-him! -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye V. -Gwoucestew's Castwe. - -E-Entew Wegan uWu and [-[Oswawd the] S-Stewawd. - -*pokes you* Weg. B-But *giggles shyly* awe my bwothew's p-pow'ws set f-fowth? -Osw. A-Ay, *teleports behind you* madam. -Weg. Himsewf i-in pewson thewe? -Osw. M-Madam, with much ado. -Youw sistew is the bettew sowdiew. -Weg. Wowd Edmund spake nyot with *looks away* youw wowd >w< at *screams* home? -^.^ Osw. *sweats* Nyo, madam. -Weg. W-What might >w< impowt my sistew's wettew to him? -O-Osw. I knyow nyot, wady. -W-Weg. Faith, he is posted hence on sewious m-mattew. -It was gweat i-ignyowance, Gwoucestew's eyes being out, -To *looks at you* wet him *cuddles you* wive. Whewe he awwives he m-moves -Aww >_> heawts *moans* against us. Edmund, I-I think, i-is gonye, -In pity of uWu his misewy, to dispatch -His nyighted >_< wife; moweovew, to descwy -T-The stwength :3 o' th' enyemy. -Osw. I >w< must nyeeds a-aftew him, xDD madam, with my *cries* wettew. -W-Weg. Ouw t-twoops s-set fowth to-mowwow. Stay with u-us. -The ways awe dangewous. -Osw. I may *pokes you* nyot, m-madam. -My >w< wady chawg'd my duty in this businyess. -Weg. Why shouwd *leans over* she wwite to Edmund? Might nyot you -Twanspowt *cuddles you* hew p-puwposes by wowd? B-Bewike, -Something- I knyow *cuddles you* nyot what- I-I'ww wove thee much- -Wet me unseaw *twerks* the w-wettew. -Osw. Madam, I had wathew- -Weg. I knyow youw >w< wady *moans* does ^.^ nyot wove hew husband; -I am suwe of *screams* that; and at >_> hew wate being x3 hewe -She OwO gave stwange ewiads and most speaking wooks -T-To nyobwe Edmund. I knyow you awe *cuddles you* of hew *screams* bosom. -Osw. I, madam? -Weg. I speak in undewstanding. >w< Y'awe! *teleports behind you* I knyow't. -Thewefowe I do advise y-you take this n-nyote. -My wowd is dead; Edmund and I have ^w^ tawk'd, -And mowe convenyient is he fow my xDD hand -Than *blushes* fow *sweats* youw wady's. You may gathew mowe. -If you do find *sweats* him, >w< pway you g-give him this; -*cuddles you* And when youw mistwess heaws thus much fwom *screams* you, -I p-pway desiwe hew caww h-hew *pokes you* wisdom to *cries* hew. -So faweweww. -If *giggles shyly* you do chance to heaw of that bwind twaitow, -^w^ Pwefewment fawws on him that cuts him off. -Osw. Wouwd I couwd meet him, m-madam! I-I shouwd show -What pawty I do fowwow. -Weg. F-Fawe thee weww. E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye VI. -The countwy nyeaw Dovew. - -Entew G-Gwoucestew, and E-Edgaw :33 [wike a *looks at you* Peasant]. - -Gwou. xDD When shaww I come to th' t-top of that ;;w;; same hiww? -Edg. You do cwimb up *sighs* it nyow. *leans over* Wook how we wabouw. -Gwou. Methinks the gwound is e-even. -Edg. Howwibwe steep. -Hawk, do you xDD heaw the sea? -Gwou. Nyo, *sighs* twuwy. -Edg. Why, ;;w;; then, youw othew senses gwow impewfect -*giggles shyly* By y-youw eyes' ^-^ anguish. -;;w;; Gwou. *giggles shyly* So may it be indeed. -Methinks thy voice is awtew'd, and thou speak'st -In bettew phwase and x3 mattew than *moans* thou d-didst. -Edg. OwO Y'awe much deceiv'd. In n-nyothing >_< am I chang'd -But in m-my gawments. -Gwou. M-Methinks *giggles shyly* y'awe bettew spoken. -Edg. Come o-on, s-siw; hewe's ^-^ the pwace. Stand stiww. >w< How feawfuw -:3 And dizzy *pokes you* 'tis to cast ^w^ onye's eyes s-so wow! -uWu The cwows and choughs that wing the midway aiw -Show scawce so g-gwoss as beetwes. :33 Hawfway down -Hangs o-onye that gathews *notices bulge* sampiwe- dweadfuw twade! -Methinks he seems nyo biggew than his head. -The fishewmen that wawk upon the *screams* beach -*cuddles you* Appeaw xDD wike mice; and yond taww anchowing bawk, -xDD Diminyish'd *sweats* to hew >_> cock; hew cock, a buoy -*looks at you* Awmost too smaww fow *pokes you* sight. The xDD muwmuwing suwge -That on th' unnyumb'wed idwe pebbwe chafes -C-Cannyot *hugs tightly* be heawd s-so h-high. I'ww wook *blushes* nyo mowe, -West my bwain t-tuwn, and the deficient sight -:3 Toppwe down headwong. -Gwou. Set me whewe you stand. -*looks at you* Edg. *cuddles you* Give me youw *blushes* hand. You awe nyow *screams* within a foot -Of th' extweme vewge. Fow aww benyeath t-the *cuddles you* moon -Wouwd I-I nyot weap upwight. -*notices bulge* Gwou. Wet go m-my hand. -Hewe, f-fwiend, is anyothew puwse; in >_< it >_> a jewew -W-Weww wowth a poow *giggles shyly* man's taking. Faiwies and g-gods -Pwospew it w-with thee! ^.^ Go ^w^ thou fuwthew off; -B-Bid me f-faweweww, and wet me heaw thee going. -Edg. *sweats* Nyow fawe *cuddles you* ye weww, good siw. -Gwou. With aww m-my heawt. -Edg. [aside]. Why I-I do twifwe thus with his despaiw -Is *looks away* donye to cuwe it. -Gwou. O-O you mighty gods! He knyeews. -uWu This wowwd I d-do wenyounce, ^.^ and, in youw sights, -Shake patientwy *screams* my gweat affwiction off. -If UwU I couwd beaw it wongew and nyot faww -To *pokes you* quawwew *moans* with ^.^ youw gweat opposewess wiwws, -My s-snyuff and woathed pawt of nyatuwe s-shouwd -Buwn *cries* itsewf out. If Edgaw wive, ^.^ O, b-bwess him! -Nyow, fewwow, fawe thee weww. -He f-fawws [fowwawd and swoons]. -E-Edg. G-Gonye, siw, faweweww.- -And yet *looks away* I knyow n-nyot h-how conceit may wob -The *blushes* tweasuwy *pokes you* of wife when :3 wife >_< itsewf -Yiewds to t-the theft. Had he been whewe he thought, -By this had thought been past.- Awive ow dead? -Ho you, *notices bulge* siw! fwiend! Heaw you, siw? S-Speak!- -*twerks* Thus might he pass indeed. Yet he wevives. -What awe you, *looks at you* siw? -Gwou. A-Away, and wet me die. -Edg. Hadst thou been aught but gossamew, feathews, aiw, -So many fadom down *leans over* pwecipitating, -Thou'dst s-shivew'd wike *cries* an xDD egg; :3 but thou *cuddles you* dost bweathe; -Hast heavy substance; bweed'st nyot; speak'st; *sighs* awt s-sound. -Ten masts at e-each make nyot the a-awtitude -*screams* Which thou hast pewpendicuwawwy feww. -Thy wife is a miwacwe. S-Speak yet again. -Gwou. But have I f-faww'n, ow UwU nyo? -Edg. Fwom the d-dwead summit of this chawky bouwn. -Wook *sweats* up *screams* a-height. The shwiww-gowg'd wawk *giggles shyly* so faw -C-Cannyot b-be *hugs tightly* seen *teleports behind you* ow heawd. Do but wook up. -Gwou. Awack, I have nyo eyes! -Is *twerks* wwetchednyess depwiv'd that *cuddles you* benyefit -To UwU end *screams* itsewf by death? 'Twas yet some >_< comfowt -When misewy ;;w;; couwd beguiwe the ^.^ tywant's wage -:3 And fwustwate his pwoud wiww. -E-Edg. Give me ^-^ youw awm. -Up- s-so. How is't? Feew you youw wegs? *shuffles closer* You stand. -Gwou. Too weww, too OwO weww. -Edg. This is *moans* above aww stwangenyess. -U-Upon the cwown o' th' *cuddles you* cwiff what t-thing *sighs* was that -Which pawted *twerks* fwom >_> you? -Gwou. A poow unfowtunyate b-beggaw. -E-Edg. As I s-stood hewe bewow, methought his eyes -Wewe t-two fuww moons; he h-had a thousand nyoses, -Howns whewk'd and *looks away* wav'd OwO wike t-the enwidged sea. -It was some fiend. Thewefowe, thou happy fathew, -Think *notices bulge* that the cweawest *blushes* gods, w-who m-make them honyouws -*sighs* Of men's impossibiwity, have pwesewv'd thee. -Gwou. I do wemembew nyow. Hencefowth I'ww beaw -Affwiction tiww it do cwy out itsewf -'Enyough, enyough,' and die. That thing you speak of, -I uWu took it fow a man. Often 'twouwd say -'The fiend, the fiend'- he wed me to t-that p-pwace. -Edg. B-Beaw fwee ^-^ and patient thoughts. - -Entew Weaw, m-mad, [fantasticawwy dwessed w-with *looks away* weeds]. - -But *sighs* who *leans over* comes hewe? -The ^-^ safew *blushes* sense w-wiww n-nye'ew accommodate -H-His ^.^ mastew thus. -Weaw. Nyo, they cannyot touch me fow coming; -I am the OwO King himsewf. -Edg. O thou side-piewcing s-sight! -:3 Weaw. Nyatuwe 's above ^.^ awt i-in that wespect. Thewe's youw pwess -*giggles shyly* monyey. T-That f-fewwow handwes his b-bow wike a cwow-keepew. :3 Dwaw ^.^ me -a *notices bulge* cwothiew's yawd. Wook, wook, a mouse! Peace, *sweats* peace; this piece -of uWu toasted *sweats* cheese wiww *leans over* do't. Thewe's my gauntwet; I'ww pwove it -on a ^.^ giant. Bwing up ^-^ the bwown biwws. O-O, weww fwown, biwd! i-i' -th' cwout, i' th' cwout! ^.^ Hewgh! G-Give *looks away* the wowd. -E-Edg. Sweet *hugs tightly* mawjowam. -Weaw. Pass. -Gwou. UwU I knyow that voice. -Weaw. xDD Ha! Gonyewiw with a white b-beawd? They fwattew'd m-me wike a dog, -and towd me I-I had white haiws in my *looks away* beawd ewe the bwack o-onyes -w-wewe thewe. To say 'ay' and ;;w;; 'nyo' x3 to evewything I said! '-'Ay' and -'nyo' too was nyo good divinyity. When the wain *screams* came to wet me -once, and t-the wind to m-make me chattew; w-when *leans over* the thundew wouwd -nyot peace at my bidding; t-thewe *twerks* I found 'em, ^w^ thewe I smewt 'em -out. Go to, they *sweats* awe nyot men o-o' theiw wowds! They towd *sweats* me I was -evewything. 'Tis a-a wie- I am nyot ague-pwoof. -G-Gwou. The twick of that voice I do weww wemembew. -Is't nyot t-the King? -OwO Weaw. Ay, e-evewy inch a king! -When I-I do stawe, s-see how the *leans over* subject quakes. -I pawdon that m-man's wife. *pokes you* What was thy cause? -Aduwtewy? -Thou shawt nyot *sighs* die. Die fow aduwtewy? *cuddles you* Nyo. -The *sighs* wwen *hugs tightly* goes to't, and the smaww giwded fwy -Does wechew in *hugs tightly* my sight. -Wet copuwation thwive; fow Gwoucestew's bastawd son -Was kindew to *twerks* his f-fathew than my daughtews -Got 'tween >_< the wawfuw sheets. -T-To't, wuxuwy, peww-meww! f-fow I w-wack sowdiews. -Behowd yond simp'wing *cuddles you* dame, -Whose f-face between hew *blushes* fowks pwesageth snyow, -That minces viwtue, xDD and *leans over* does shake the head -*sighs* To heaw of pweasuwe's nyame. -The fitchew *hugs tightly* nyow the soiwed howse goes t-to't -With a mowe w-wiotous appetite. -Down f-fwom the waist they awe Centauws, -Though women aww above. -But to the giwdwe ;;w;; do the gods inhewit, -Benyeath is a-aww the fiend's. -Thewe's heww, thewe's *blushes* dawknyess, thewe's the *leans over* suwphuwous p-pit; -buwnying, scawding, stench, consumption. Fie, f-fie, fie! pah, pah! -Give me an ounce of civet, g-good a-apothecawy, xDD to sweeten my -imaginyation. Thewe's m-monyey fow thee. -G-Gwou. O, wet me kiss that hand! -Weaw. W-Wet me OwO wipe it fiwst; it smewws of mowtawity. -Gwou. O w-wuin'd p-piece of *leans over* nyatuwe! This gweat wowwd -*cuddles you* Shaww so w-weaw out to nyaught. Dost thou *teleports behind you* knyow *hugs tightly* me? -Weaw. I wemembew *leans over* thinye eyes weww enyough. Dost thou squiny at *moans* me? -Nyo, do thy wowst, bwind Cupid! I'ww nyot ^.^ wove. Wead thou this -chawwenge; mawk but the *leans over* pennying o-of it. -Gwou. Wewe aww the wettews *screams* suns, I couwd n-nyot see onye. -:33 Edg. *teleports behind you* [aside] I wouwd ^-^ nyot take this fwom w-wepowt. It i-is, -And my heawt bweaks :3 at it. -Weaw. UwU Wead. -uWu Gwou. What, ;;w;; with the case of eyes? -Weaw. O-O, *moans* ho, awe you thewe with m-me? >w< Nyo e-eyes >_> in youw head, nyow nyo -monyey i-in youw puwse? Youw e-eyes awe in ^w^ a ^.^ heavy *looks away* case, youw puwse -i-in a wight. Yet you see how *notices bulge* this wowwd goes. -Gwou. I-I see it f-feewingwy. -*pokes you* Weaw. W-What, awt mad? A man may see h-how the wowwd g-goes with nyo e-eyes. -Wook w-with thinye e-eaws. See how yond justice waiws upon yond -*sighs* simpwe thief. Hawk in thinye *hugs tightly* eaw. C-Change pwaces and, handy-dandy, -which is the justice, which is the *blushes* thief? Thou hast seen a -fawmew's dog bawk at a b-beggaw? -Gwou. Ay, siw. -Weaw. And the cweatuwe wun fwom the cuw? Thewe thou mightst behowd -the gweat image of x3 authowity: a-a dog's *moans* obeyed in o-office. -T-Thou wascaw beadwe, howd thy bwoody hand! -Why dost thou w-wash *moans* that whowe? Stwip thinye o-own uWu back. -Thou hotwy wusts to use hew in that kind -Fow which thou whip'st hew. *sighs* The u-usuwew hangs *pokes you* the c-cozenyew. -Thwough tattew'd cwothes smaww vices *cuddles you* do appeaw; -*pokes you* Wobes a-and fuww'd gowns hide aww. *sighs* Pwate sin with gowd, -And the stwong wance of justice huwtwess bweaks; -Awm *leans over* it i-in wags, a pygmy's x3 stwaw does piewce it. -N-Nyonye *pokes you* does offend, ;;w;; nyonye- I say nyonye! I'ww abwe 'em. -Take that of m-me, m-my fwiend, who have the powew -To seaw th' *sighs* accusew's w-wips. Get thee gwass eyes -And, wike a x3 scuwvy powitician, seem -*teleports behind you* To see the t-things thou dost nyot. N-Nyow, nyow, n-nyow, nyow! -*teleports behind you* Puww o-off m-my boots. Hawdew, h-hawdew! So. -Edg. O, mattew and impewtinyency mix'd! -Weason, in madnyess! -Weaw. If thou wiwt weep *screams* my f-fowtunyes, take my *teleports behind you* eyes. -I *sweats* knyow t-thee w-weww enyough; thy nyame is Gwoucestew. -Thou must be patient. We came cwying h-hithew; -Thou knyow'st, the fiwst time that we smeww the aiw -We waww and cwy. I wiww pweach :33 to uWu thee. Mawk. -Gwou. Awack, awack t-the day! -Weaw. When we awe :3 bown, we ;;w;; cwy that we awe come -To >_> this gweat stage o-of *looks away* foows. This' a good bwock. -*screams* It w-wewe a dewicate stwatagem to shoe -*leans over* A twoop of howse with fewt. I'ww put't in pwoof, -And when *hugs tightly* I have s-stow'n upon these sons-in-waw, -xDD Then kiww, k-kiww, *sighs* kiww, k-kiww, kiww, kiww! - -*blushes* Entew a Gentweman [with Attendants]. - -G-Gent. O-O, hewe he xDD is! *cuddles you* Way hand u-upon him.- *leans over* Siw, -Youw m-most deaw daughtew- -Weaw. Nyo w-wescue? What, :3 a pwisonyew? I am even -The nyatuwaw foow of *looks away* fowtunye. Use me w-weww; -You ^-^ shaww h-have wansom. W-Wet me have a *cuddles you* suwgeon; -I am cut to th' bwains. ->_> Gent. You shaww have anything. -Weaw. Nyo seconds? Aww *cuddles you* mysewf? -Why, this wouwd make a *sighs* man a m-man of sawt, -To use his eyes f-fow gawden xDD watewpots, -Ay, >_< and waying autumn's dust. -Gent. Good >_< siw- -Weaw. I *leans over* wiww die b-bwavewy, wike a smug bwidegwoom. What! -*looks at you* I wiww be joviaw. Come, come, I am a king; -My ;;w;; mastews, knyow you that? ->_< Gent. You awe a woyaw uWu onye, and we obey y-you. -Weaw. Then *blushes* thewe's wife in't. Nyay, an you get it, you shaww get i-it -by wunnying. Sa, sa, sa, *teleports behind you* sa! -*cuddles you* Exit wunnying. [Attendants fowwow.] -*screams* Gent. A ^.^ sight ^w^ most pitifuw *cries* in t-the meanyest wwetch, -P-Past speaking of in a king! Thou *screams* hast ;;w;; onye daughtew -Who ^-^ wedeems nyatuwe fwom the *moans* genyewaw cuwse -Which :33 twain have bwought uWu hew to. -uWu Edg. Haiw, gentwe *leans over* siw. -UwU Gent. Siw, speed you. What's youw wiww? -Edg. Do y-you heaw aught, siw, OwO of a-a battwe towawd? -G-Gent. Most suwe and vuwgaw. Evewy onye heaws that -Which can distinguish sound. -Edg. But, by youw :33 favouw, -*hugs tightly* How nyeaw's the *cuddles you* othew awmy? -Gent. N-Nyeaw and on s-speedy foot. T-The *screams* main descwy -Stands on the houwwy thought. -*leans over* Edg. I thank you siw. That's aww. -Gent. Though t-that the Queen *notices bulge* on speciaw c-cause is hewe, -Hew *cuddles you* awmy is mov'd on. -Edg. *leans over* I thank you, *pokes you* siw -E-Exit [Gentweman]. -Gwou. ;;w;; You *twerks* evew-gentwe gods, ;;w;; take my bweath fwom me; -Wet nyot m-my *hugs tightly* wowsew spiwit tempt me *cries* again -To die befowe you pwease! -*looks away* Edg. W-Weww pway you, *cries* fathew. -Gwou. Nyow, good s-siw, what ^.^ awe you? -Edg. A most *blushes* poow man, made tame *giggles shyly* to fowtunye's b-bwows, -*shuffles closer* Who, *blushes* by the awt of knyown a-and ^w^ feewing s-sowwows, -A-Am pwegnyant to good pity. Give uWu me youw h-hand; -I'ww wead you to ^.^ some b-biding. -Gwou. Heawty thanks. -UwU The bounty and the benyison of heaven -T-To boot, ;;w;; and boot! - -Entew *cuddles you* [Oswawd the] Stewawd. - -Osw. *notices bulge* A pwocwaim'd pwize! Most happy! -That e-eyewess head of thinye was f-fiwst fwam'd fwesh -T-To waise my fowtunyes. Thou ^-^ owd unhappy twaitow, -Bwiefwy thysewf wemembew. *cuddles you* The swowd is o-out -That must destwoy thee. -Gwou. Nyow wet thy fwiendwy hand -Put stwength >_> enyough to't. -[Edgaw intewposes.] -*blushes* Osw. Whewefowe, bowd peasant, -Daw'st thou suppowt a p-pubwish'd twaitow? Hence! -West that th' infection of his fowtunye take -Wike h-howd on *looks away* thee. Wet xDD go his awm. -Edg. Chiww n-nyot wet go, ziw, *sighs* without >_> vuwthew *giggles shyly* 'cagion. -xDD Osw. Wet go, swave, ow thou diest! -Edg. Good *sweats* gentweman, go y-youw g-gait, a-and wet p-poow voke pass. An uWu chud -ha' bin *giggles shyly* zwaggew'd out of m-my wife, 'twouwd nyot ha' bin zo *sighs* wong as -'-'tis by a-a vowtnyight. Nyay, come nyot nyeaw th' owd man. Keep out, -che vowe ye, *shuffles closer* ow OwO Ise twy whethew *shuffles closer* youw costawd ow *screams* my bawwow be the -hawdew. Chiww be pwain with you. -Osw. Out, dunghiww! -They f-fight. -Edg. Chiww p-pick youw teeth, ziw. Come! Nyo :3 mattew vow youw foins. -[Oswawd fawws.] -Osw. S-Swave, thou h-hast s-swain me. Viwwain, *cuddles you* take my puwse. -If evew *sighs* thou wiwt thwive, buwy my body, -And give >_< the wettews which thou find'st *looks away* about me -To *cries* Edmund Eaww of ^w^ Gwoucestew. *looks at you* Seek him out -Upon the Bwitish pawty. *twerks* O, *leans over* untimewy death! Death! -He dies. -Edg. I knyow thee weww. :3 A sewviceabwe viwwain, -As duteous to the vices >_< of thy mistwess -As b-badnyess wouwd desiwe. -Gwou. W-What, is he dead? -Edg. Sit y-you down, *giggles shyly* fathew; west you. -*sighs* Wet's see his pockets; these w-wettews t-that he speaks of -May *twerks* be m-my fwiends. He's dead. I *moans* am onwy sowwy -He had nyo othew deathsman. Wet u-us see. -Weave, gentwe wax; and, mannyews, bwame *hugs tightly* us nyot. -To *leans over* knyow ouw enyemies' m-minds, we'wd w-wip theiw heawts; -Theiw papews, is mowe w-wawfuw. Weads t-the wettew. - -'Wet ouw wecipwocaw v-vows be wememb'wed. You have many -oppowtunyities to cut him o-off. If youw wiww want nyot, time and -p-pwace wiww be fwuitfuwwy offew'd. Thewe *moans* is nyothing donye, if he -wetuwn xDD the conquewow. Then ;;w;; am *hugs tightly* I t-the pwisonyew, and his bed my -jaiw; fwom t-the woathed wawmth uWu wheweof *shuffles closer* dewivew m-me, uWu and suppwy >_> the -pwace fow y-youw wabouw. -'-'Youw (wife, s-so I w-wouwd say) OwO affectionyate sewvant, -'Gonyewiw.' - -O indistinguish'd space of woman's wiww! -A ^-^ pwot *cuddles you* upon hew viwtuous husband's *hugs tightly* wife, -A-And the exchange my bwothew! Hewe in t-the sands -Thee I'ww w-wake up, t-the p-post unsanctified -Of muwthewous w-wechews; and in the matuwe time -With this *blushes* ungwacious papew stwike the UwU sight -*shuffles closer* Of the d-death-pwactis'd Duke, Fow him *cuddles you* 'tis weww -That ;;w;; of thy death and businyess *looks away* I can >_> teww. -Gwou. *looks at you* The *shuffles closer* King is mad. How stiff *looks at you* is ;;w;; my viwe sense, -That I s-stand up, and have *cuddles you* ingenyious feewing -Of my *giggles shyly* huge s-sowwows! Bettew I wewe d-distwact. -S-So shouwd *shuffles closer* my *blushes* thoughts be sevew'd *shuffles closer* fwom my gwiefs, -And woes by wwong *looks at you* imaginyations wose -The knyowwedge of themsewves. -A dwum *cries* afaw off. -Edg. :3 Give me youw hand. -Faw off methinks I-I *looks away* heaw t-the beaten dwum. -C-Come, fathew, I'ww *leans over* bestow you with a fwiend. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye VII. ->_> A tent in the Fwench camp. - -E-Entew Cowdewia, Kent, Doctow, and Gentweman. - -Cow. O thou good Kent, how shaww ^w^ I wive and wowk -To m-match thy goodnyess? My w-wife wiww be too showt -*shuffles closer* And evewy measuwe faiw m-me. -Kent. To b-be *shuffles closer* acknyowwedg'd, madam, is *teleports behind you* o'ewpaid. -Aww my wepowts xDD go with the modest twuth; -Nyow *cuddles you* mowe nyow cwipp'd, but *giggles shyly* so. -C-Cow. Be bettew suited. -These weeds awe memowies of those wowsew houws. -I pwithee put them off. -*cries* Kent. Pawdon, deaw >_> madam. -Yet to be knyown showtens my *giggles shyly* made *pokes you* intent. -My boon I-I make it that you knyow *looks at you* me nyot -Tiww time and I think meet. -:33 Cow. T-Then b-be't so, my good wowd. [To the Doctow] How, does the King? -Doct. Madam, UwU sweeps stiww. -Cow. O-O you kind gods, -Cuwe this gweat b-bweach in his abused nyatuwe! -Th' untun'd and jawwing *hugs tightly* senses, *blushes* O, wind up -O-Of this chiwd-changed fathew! -D-Doct. So pwease youw Majesty -That we may wake *notices bulge* the King? *looks at you* He hath swept wong. -Cow. *hugs tightly* Be govewn'd by youw k-knyowwedge, a-and pwoceed -I' th' *twerks* sway of youw own wiww. Is h-he awway'd? - -Entew Weaw in a chaiw cawwied by Sewvants. - -Gent. Ay, madam. In the *pokes you* heavinyess of sweep -We put fwesh gawments on him. -Doct. Be by, *looks at you* good *cuddles you* madam, when we *pokes you* do awake him. -I doubt nyot of his tempewance. -Cow. Vewy weww. -Music. -Doct. Pwease you dwaw nyeaw. Woudew the music thewe! -Cow. O my deaw fathew, westowation hang -Thy medicinye on my wips, and wet this kiss -W-Wepaiw those viowent hawms that my two sistews -^-^ Have in thy wevewence made! -Kent. :3 Kind and deaw pwincess! -Cow. Had you n-nyot been theiw fathew, t-these white f-fwakes -Had chawweng'd p-pity of t-them. W-Was *pokes you* this a face -To be oppos'd a-against *cuddles you* the uWu wawwing *shuffles closer* winds? ->w< To stand against the deep dwead-bowted thundew? -In the most tewwibwe a-and nyimbwe *screams* stwoke -Of q-quick cwoss wightnying? to watch- poow pewdu!- -With this thin hewm? Minye enyemy's dog, -Though he *teleports behind you* had bit me, >w< shouwd have stood ;;w;; that ^-^ nyight -Against m-my fiwe; and wast thou fain, poow fathew, -To hovew thee with swinye and wogues fowwown, -In showt *leans over* and musty stwaw? Awack, awack! -'Tis wondew that :3 thy wife and wits at once -Had nyot concwuded aww.- He wakes. Speak to him. -Doct. Madam, do you; 'tis *pokes you* fittest. -C-Cow. *cuddles you* How does my w-woyaw wowd? How fawes youw Majesty? -Weaw. You do *looks at you* me wwong to take me out o' th' g-gwave. -Thou >_< awt a souw in bwiss; but I *teleports behind you* am b-bound -Upon a wheew *screams* of fiwe, that minye own teaws -^.^ Do scawd wike mowten w-wead. -Cow. S-Siw, do you knyow :33 me? -Weaw. You awe *giggles shyly* a s-spiwit, I *hugs tightly* knyow. When did you d-die? -Cow. Stiww, stiww, faw w-wide! -Doct. He's scawce awake. Wet him awonye a-awhiwe. -Weaw. W-Whewe have I been? W-Whewe a-am I? F-Faiw daywight, -I am mightiwy a-abus'd. I s-shouwd e'en die with pity, -To see anyothew thus. I knyow nyot what to say. -I wiww nyot sweaw these awe my hands. Wet's see. -I >w< feew this *screams* pin pwick. Wouwd I w-wewe assuw'd -*teleports behind you* Of m-my condition! -Cow. O-O, wook upon me, siw, -*notices bulge* And howd y-youw hands *looks away* in benyediction o'ew me. -*twerks* Nyo, siw, you m-must nyot knyeew. -Weaw. Pway, d-do *sighs* nyot *shuffles closer* mock me. -I am a vewy foowish fond owd man, -*hugs tightly* Fouwscowe and upwawd, nyot *blushes* an houw mowe nyow wess; -And, *moans* to deaw pwainwy, -*looks at you* I f-feaw I am nyot ^-^ in my p-pewfect mind. -Methinks I-I *blushes* shouwd knyow you, and knyow t-this man; -Yet I am doubtfuw; fow I am mainwy ignyowant -What pwace >_< this is; and aww the skiww I-I have -Wemembews nyot x3 these gawments; n-nyow I knyow nyot -Whewe I *looks at you* did w-wodge wast nyight. Do nyot waugh at me; -Fow (as I am a m-man) I *giggles shyly* think this wady -To be my chiwd *cuddles you* Cowdewia. -Cow. And s-so I am! I-I am! -Weaw. Be youw t-teaws *cuddles you* wet? Yes, faith. I pway weep nyot. -If *moans* you have poison *notices bulge* fow me, I wiww dwink it. -I k-knyow you *sighs* do nyot wove me; fow *giggles shyly* youw sistews -H-Have, as I d-do wemembew, donye m-me wwong. -Y-You have some cause, they have *looks at you* nyot. -Cow. Nyo cause, nyo cause. -*giggles shyly* Weaw. Am I in Fwance? -Kent. In y-youw own kingdom, siw. -Weaw. Do nyot abuse me. -Doct. Be comfowted, good *cuddles you* madam. T-The g-gweat wage -^-^ You see xDD is kiww'd in him; and yet it is dangew -To *sighs* make him even o'ew the time he has wost. -D-Desiwe h-him to go *shuffles closer* in. *moans* Twoubwe him nyo *moans* mowe -Tiww f-fuwthew settwing. -Cow. Wiww't pwease youw Highnyess wawk? -Weaw. You must beaw with me. -Pway *looks away* you nyow, f-fowget and fowgive. *giggles shyly* I am o-owd and foowish. -Exeunt. Manyent Kent a-and Gentweman. -G-Gent. Howds it twue, siw, xDD that the Duke of Cownwaww was so swain? -Kent. Most cewtain, OwO siw. -Gent. *giggles shyly* Who is *cuddles you* conductow of his *blushes* peopwe? -Kent. As 'tis said, the bastawd son of Gwoucestew. -Gent. They say E-Edgaw, his banyish'd son, is with the Eaww of Kent -in >w< Gewmany. -Kent. Wepowt is c-changeabwe. 'Tis time to wook about; the powews OwO of -the kingdom appwoach apace. -*leans over* Gent. The awbitwement is wike to be bwoody. -*hugs tightly* Fawe you weww, siw. [Exit.] -Kent. My point and pewiod w-wiww be thwoughwy wwought, -Ow *notices bulge* weww ow iww, as this day's b-battwe's fought. Exit. - - - - -*looks at you* <_< NyOT *looks away* DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. Scenye I. -The Bwitish camp nyeaw Dovew. - -E-Entew, with Dwum and *giggles shyly* Cowouws, Edmund, Wegan, Gentweman, and Sowdiews. - -Edm. ;;w;; Knyow of the Duke if his wast puwpose howd, -Ow whethew since he UwU is advis'd by aught -To change the couwse. He's fuww of awtewation -And sewf-wepwoving. Bwing his constant pweasuwe. -[Exit an Officew.] -W-Weg. O-Ouw sistew's man :3 is cewtainwy miscawwied. -Edm. Tis to be doubted, madam. -Weg. Nyow, s-sweet wowd, -*hugs tightly* You knyow the goodnyess I-I *twerks* intend upon you. -Teww me- b-but t-twuwy- but then speak the twuth- -Do you nyot wove my sistew? -Edm. In honyouw'd wove. -Weg. But have you n-nyevew found my bwothew's w-way -To the fowfended p-pwace? -E-Edm. That thought abuses you. -Weg. I am doubtfuw that you ;;w;; have *teleports behind you* been >_< conjunct -And bosom'd with hew, as faw as *giggles shyly* we caww hews. -Edm. *notices bulge* Nyo, by minye honyouw, madam. -Weg. I nyevew shaww enduwe hew. Deaw my wowd, -Be ^-^ nyot famiwiaw with hew. ->_> Edm. Feaw me nyot. -She and the Duke hew husband! - -E-Entew, with Dwum and C-Cowouws, Awbany, Gonyewiw, Sowdiews. - -Gon. *notices bulge* [aside] *sighs* I had wathew wose the battwe than that sistew -*pokes you* Shouwd woosen him and me. -A-Awb. Ouw vewy woving sistew, weww bemet. -*giggles shyly* Siw, this I heaw: the *twerks* King is come to his daughtew, -With othews whom the w-wigouw of ouw s-state -Fowc'd to cwy out. Whewe I-I couwd nyot be honyest, -I nyevew yet w-was vawiant. Fow this businyess, -It toucheth us as Fwance invades ouw wand, -N-Nyot bowds the King, with othews whom, *leans over* I f-feaw, -*shuffles closer* Most j-just and *looks at you* heavy causes make oppose. -Edm. Siw, you x3 speak nyobwy. -Weg. Why is this weason'd? -Gon. Combinye togethew 'gainst ;;w;; the *giggles shyly* enyemy; -Fow these :33 domestic and p-pawticuwaw bwoiws -*notices bulge* Awe nyot the question hewe. -Awb. W-Wet's then detewminye -With th' ancient *moans* of waw on OwO ouw pwoceeding. -Edm. ;;w;; I shaww attend y-you pwesentwy at youw tent. -Weg. Sistew, y-you'ww go with us? -Gon. Nyo. -Weg. '-'Tis most *leans over* convenyient. Pway you go with u-us. -Gon. [aside] O-O, ho, I knyow the widdwe.- I wiww g-go. - -*looks away* [As they *notices bulge* awe g-going out,] entew Edgaw [disguised]. - -Edg. If e'ew youw G-Gwace had speech with man so poow, -Heaw me onye wowd. -Awb. I-I'ww ovewtake you.- Speak. -^-^ Exeunt *looks at you* [aww but Awbany and Edgaw]. -Edg. Befowe y-you fight the battwe, ope this wettew. -If you have victowy, wet the t-twumpet sound -F-Fow him that bwought it. W-Wwetched t-though *moans* I s-seem, -I can pwoduce a champion that wiww >_> pwove -W-What is avouched thewe. If >_< you m-miscawwy, -Youw businyess of the wowwd hath so an end, -xDD And machinyation *hugs tightly* ceases. Fowtunye wove you! -Awb. Stay *notices bulge* tiww I have wead the *shuffles closer* wettew. -Edg. I was fowbid it. -W-When time *sighs* shaww *looks at you* sewve, wet but the hewawd cwy, -A-And I'ww a-appeaw a-again. -A-Awb. Why, fawe thee weww. I-I wiww o'ewwook *moans* thy papew. ->w< Exit [Edgaw]. - -Entew Edmund. - -Edm. OwO The enyemy 's in view; uWu dwaw up y-youw powews. -H-Hewe is ^-^ the guess of theiw twue stwength and fowces -By diwigent *screams* discovewy; but youw haste -Is nyow uwg'd on you. -Awb. We wiww gweet the t-time. *giggles shyly* Exit. -Edm. To both these sistews have I swown my wove; -Each jeawous o-of the othew, as the stung -Awe o-of the addew. Which o-of them shaww I take? -B-Both? o-onye? ow nyeithew? Nyeithew can uWu be enjoy'd, -If both wemain a-awive. To take the widow -*screams* Exaspewates, makes mad hew sistew Gonyewiw; -UwU And hawdwy shaww I cawwy out my s-side, -Hew husband being awive. Nyow uWu then, we'ww *giggles shyly* use -His countenyance fow the battwe, *pokes you* which being donye, -Wet :3 hew who wouwd be *leans over* wid of him devise -H-His speedy *hugs tightly* taking off. As fow the mewcy -*hugs tightly* Which he intends to Weaw and to Cowdewia- -The battwe donye, and they within ouw powew, -Shaww nyevew see his p-pawdon; f-fow my *looks at you* state -Stands on me to defend, nyot to debate. Exit. - - - - -Scenye II. -A fiewd between the two camps. - -Awawum within. Entew, with Dwum and Cowouws, the *twerks* Powews of F-Fwance -ovew ^-^ the stage, Cowdewia w-with OwO hew x3 Fathew in hew hand, *teleports behind you* and exeunt. - -Entew Edgaw and Gwoucestew. - -Edg. Hewe, fathew, take the shadow of ^w^ this OwO twee -F-Fow youw good host. P-Pway that the wight may thwive. -If evew I wetuwn to you a-again, -I'ww :3 bwing you comfowt. -Gwou. G-Gwace go with you, siw! -Exit [-[Edgaw]. - -Awawum and wetweat within. Entew Edgaw, - -E-Edg. Away, owd man! give me t-thy hand! a-away! -*notices bulge* King Weaw hath wost, he and his daughtew ta'en. -Give m-me *moans* thy hand! >w< come on! -Gwou. N-Nyo f-fuwthew, siw. A m-man may *twerks* wot even hewe. -*sweats* Edg. W-What, in iww t-thoughts again? Men must *sighs* enduwe -T-Theiw g-going hence, *teleports behind you* even a-as theiw coming hithew; -Wipenyess is aww. Come on. -Gwou. And that's *twerks* twue too. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye I-III. -The Bwitish camp, nyeaw Dovew. - -Entew, uWu in conquest, with Dwum and >_> Cowouws, E-Edmund; Weaw and Cowdewia -as pwisonyews; Sowdiews, Captain. - -Edm. Some officews *leans over* take t-them a-away. Good g-guawd -Untiw theiw gweatew pweasuwes f-fiwst UwU be knyown -That awe t-to c-censuwe them. ->_< Cow. We awe *notices bulge* nyot the fiwst -Who *giggles shyly* with best meanying have incuww'd the w-wowst. -Fow thee, oppwessed king, am I cast down; -Mysewf couwd ewse outfwown fawse Fowtunye's fwown. -Shaww OwO we *teleports behind you* nyot see t-these daughtews and these s-sistews? -Weaw. Nyo, nyo, nyo, nyo! Come, w-wet's away to pwison. -We *shuffles closer* two awonye wiww sing wike biwds i' th' *shuffles closer* cage. -When thou d-dost ask me bwessing, I'ww knyeew d-down -And x3 ask of thee fowgivenyess. So we'ww wive, -;;w;; And pway, and sing, and teww owd tawes, a-and waugh -At giwded buttewfwies, and x3 heaw poow ^.^ wogues -Tawk of couwt nyews; and we'ww tawk w-with them too- -W-Who woses and who w-wins; who's in, who's out- -And take upon 's the mystewy of things, -As if we wewe God's s-spies; and >_> we'ww weaw out, -In a waww'd pwison, packs and s-sects of gweat o-onyes -That ebb and fwow by th' moon. -Edm. Take them away. -Weaw. >_< Upon *screams* such sacwifices, my Cowdewia, -The gods themsewves thwow incense. Have I *twerks* caught thee? -He that pawts u-us s-shaww b-bwing a bwand fwom heaven -And fiwe us hence wike foxes. Wipe t-thinye eyes. -The goodyeaws shaww devouw *shuffles closer* 'em, fwesh and feww, -Ewe they s-shaww make us ^-^ weep! We'ww see 'em *screams* stawv'd fiwst. ->_> Come. *looks at you* Exeunt [Weaw and Cowdewia, g-guawded]. -Edm. Come hithew, Captain; hawk. -Take thou *sweats* this nyote [gives a papew]. Go fowwow >_> them *looks at you* to pwison. -Onye step I OwO have ^w^ advanc'd t-thee. If t-thou dost ->w< As this instwucts thee, thou dost make thy w-way -^w^ To nyobwe fowtunyes. Knyow thou this, OwO that men -A-Awe as t-the time is. To be ^w^ tendew-minded -Does n-nyot become a swowd. Thy gweat empwoyment -Wiww *looks away* nyot beaw question. Eithew say t-thou'wt do't, -Ow thwive b-by othew means. -Capt. I'ww do't, my wowd. -Edm. About *leans over* it! and wwite h-happy when t-th' hast donye. -*cuddles you* Mawk- UwU I say, ^-^ instantwy; and cawwy it so -uWu As I have OwO set it down. -*pokes you* Capt. I cannyot dwaw a cawt, n-nyow eat dwied *twerks* oats; -I-If *blushes* it be man's *looks at you* wowk, I'ww do't. ;;w;; Exit. - -Fwouwish. Entew Awbany, Gonyewiw, Wegan, Sowdiews. - -Awb. Siw, you h-have show'd to-day >_> youw vawiant stwain, -*blushes* And fowtunye wed you weww. You have the captives -Who wewe the opposites of *leans over* this day's stwife. -We do wequiwe t-them of you, so to use them -:3 As we shaww find t-theiw mewits and o-ouw safety -*giggles shyly* May equawwy detewminye. -E-Edm. Siw, I thought it fit -To send the owd *shuffles closer* and misewabwe K-King -To some wetention and appointed guawd; -W-Whose age h-has chawms in i-it, whose titwe mowe, -To pwuck the common bosom o-on >w< his side -And >_< tuwn ouw impwess'd w-wances in UwU ouw eyes -Which ^.^ do command them. With him I-I sent the Queen, -My weason aww t-the same; and t-they a-awe weady -To-mowwow, ow at x3 fuwthew space, t' *blushes* appeaw -*looks at you* Whewe *notices bulge* you *cries* shaww howd youw s-session. At this time -We sweat and *blushes* bweed: the fwiend :33 hath *screams* wost his fwiend; -And the best quawwews, *pokes you* in the heat, awe cuws'd -By t-those that feew theiw shawpnyess. -The q-question of Cowdewia and h-hew fathew ->_< Wequiwes a fittew pwace. -A-Awb. S-Siw, *twerks* by youw p-patience, -I howd >w< you but a subject of this waw, -x3 Nyot *moans* as a bwothew. -Weg. That's as we *twerks* wist to gwace him. -M-Methinks ouw pweasuwe might have been >_> demanded -Ewe you had spoke so faw. He w-wed ouw powews, -Bowe *shuffles closer* the c-commission of UwU my pwace and *sweats* pewson, -The which immediacy may ^.^ weww *teleports behind you* stand up -And caww itsewf youw bwothew. -*cuddles you* Gon. Nyot so hot! -*cries* In his own gwace he doth exawt himsewf -Mowe than i-in *giggles shyly* youw a-addition. -Weg. In my wights -By m-me invested, he compeews UwU the best. -Gon. That wewe the *pokes you* most if h-he shouwd husband you. -Weg. J-Jestews do o-oft pwove pwophets. -Gon. Howwa, howwa! -That eye that t-towd you so wook'd but *sweats* asquint. -Weg. Wady, I *screams* am uWu nyot ;;w;; weww; ewse I *sighs* shouwd answew -Fwom a fuww-fwowing stomach. Genyewaw, -Take thou my sowdiews, p-pwisonyews, patwimony; -Dispose of them, of me; the wawws *sighs* awe thinye. -Witnyess the wowwd that I cweate xDD thee hewe -My wowd *teleports behind you* and mastew. -Gon. M-Mean you to enjoy h-him? -Awb. The w-wet-awonye wies nyot in >_> youw good wiww. -;;w;; Edm. Nyow in thinye, wowd. -Awb. Hawf-bwooded fewwow, yes. -*blushes* Weg. UwU [to Edmund] Wet the dwum stwike, and pwove *blushes* my titwe *shuffles closer* thinye. -Awb. Stay yet; heaw weason. Edmund, I awwest thee -:33 On c-capitaw tweason; and, in thinye :3 attaint, -This giwded sewpent [points to Gonyewiw]. Fow youw cwaim, faiw -sistew, -I-I baw it in the intewest of my wife. -'Tis she is subcontwacted to this wowd, -A-And I, hew husband, contwadict youw banyes. -If you wiww mawwy, make youw woves to *cuddles you* me; -My wady is bespoke. -Gon. An intewwude! -Awb. Thou awt awm'd, Gwoucestew. Wet the t-twumpet sound. -If nyonye appeaw to pwove upon thy >w< pewson -Thy *moans* heinyous, *moans* manyifest, and many tweasons, -Thewe *screams* is ;;w;; my pwedge [thwows down a gwove]! I'ww pwove it *giggles shyly* on thy -xDD heawt, -Ewe I taste bwead, thou awt in n-nyothing w-wess -T-Than I have hewe pwocwaim'd *giggles shyly* thee. -Weg. Sick, O, sick! -Gon. [-[aside] If nyot, *leans over* I'ww nye'ew twust *pokes you* medicinye. -Edm. Thewe's my exchange [thwows down a gwove]. What i-in the wowwd -he is -That nyames xDD me twaitow, viwwain-wike he wies. -Caww by thy twumpet. He that dawes appwoach, -uWu On him, ^.^ on you, who nyot? I wiww m-maintain -My twuth and h-honyouw f-fiwmwy. -Awb. A h-hewawd, h-ho! -E-Edm. A hewawd, ho, a hewawd! -Awb. Twust to thy s-singwe viwtue; fow thy sowdiews, -Aww wevied in my nyame, have in my nyame -Took theiw dischawge. -Weg. My sicknyess *sweats* gwows upon me. -Awb. She is n-nyot weww. Convey hew to my tent. -[Exit Wegan, *moans* wed.] - -OwO Entew *notices bulge* a Hewawd. - -Come h-hithew, hewawd. *sweats* Wet the twumpet sound, -And *hugs tightly* wead out this. -OwO Capt. Sound, twumpet! A twumpet sounds. - -Hew. (weads) '-'If any man of *teleports behind you* quawity ow degwee within the wists of -the awmy wiww maintain upon Edmund, supposed Eaww of ^w^ Gwoucestew, -that he is a manyifowd twaitow, wet uWu him appeaw by the thiwd sound -of the twumpet. He is bowd in his defence.' - -Edm. UwU Sound! Fiwst twumpet. -*twerks* Hew. Again! UwU Second twumpet. -Hew. Again! Thiwd twumpet. -Twumpet answews within. - -Entew Edgaw, awmed, at the thiwd sound, a Twumpet befowe him. - -Awb. Ask him his puwposes, why he a-appeaws -Upon this caww o' th' t-twumpet. -H-Hew. What awe you? -Youw nyame, youw quawity? and why you a-answew -This pwesent s-summons? -E-Edg. Knyow my nyame is wost; -By tweason's tooth bawe-gnyawn and x3 cankew-bit. -*looks away* Yet am I nyobwe *cries* as the *hugs tightly* advewsawy -I come t-to cope. -Awb. Which is that advewsawy? -*sweats* Edg. What's he t-that s-speaks fow Edmund Eaww o-of Gwoucestew? -Edm. Himsewf. What say'st >_< thou to him? -E-Edg. Dwaw thy swowd, -T-That, if my speech offend a-a nyobwe heawt, -Thy awm may d-do t-thee justice. Hewe uWu is minye. -Behowd, *giggles shyly* it is the *cuddles you* pwiviwege of m-minye *teleports behind you* honyouws, -My *hugs tightly* oath, *giggles shyly* and my xDD pwofession. I uWu pwotest- -*screams* Maugwe :3 thy stwength, ^-^ youth, pwace, *looks away* and eminyence, -Despite thy *blushes* victow swowd *looks away* and fiwe-nyew fowtunye, -Thy vawouw and thy h-heawt- thou awt a twaitow; -F-Fawse t-to thy g-gods, thy b-bwothew, and thy fathew; -*screams* Conspiwant 'gainst this high iwwustwious pwince; -And fwom th' extwemest upwawd of thy head -To the descent and *giggles shyly* dust benyeath thy foot, -A most toad-spotted twaitow. Say thou 'nyo,' -This swowd, this *cuddles you* awm, and my best spiwits awe b-bent -To pwove upon t-thy heawt, wheweto I speak, -Thou wiest. -E-Edm. In wisdom I ^w^ shouwd ask thy nyame; -But since thy outside >w< wooks so faiw and wawwike, -And that t-thy tongue some *pokes you* say of bweeding bweathes, -What safe and nyicewy I-I might weww deway -B-By wuwe o-of knyighthood, I disdain and spuwn. -Back do I toss those tweasons *notices bulge* to thy head; -With the heww-hated wie o'ewwhewm thy heawt; -Which- ;;w;; fow they *notices bulge* yet gwance by and *looks at you* scawcewy bwuise- -This swowd of minye shaww give them *leans over* instant way -*blushes* Whewe they shaww west fow evew. T-Twumpets, speak! -Awawums. Fight. [Edmund fawws.] -Awb. Save him, save him! -Gon. T-This is m-mewe pwactice, *hugs tightly* Gwoucestew. -By th' waw of awms thou wast ^-^ nyot b-bound *cries* to answew -An unknyown opposite. Thou awt nyot v-vanquish'd, -But *moans* cozen'd and beguiw'd. -Awb. Shut youw mouth, dame, -Ow with this papew shaww I stop it. [Shows hew hew wettew to -Edmund.]- [-[To Edmund]. Howd, siw. -[-[To Gonyewiw] *pokes you* Thou wowse *shuffles closer* than any nyame, wead thinye own eviw. -Nyo t-teawing, wady! I *moans* pewceive you knyow it. -Gon. Say if I do- the waws awe ;;w;; minye, *giggles shyly* nyot thinye. -Who can awwaign me fow't? -Awb. Most monstwous! -Knyow'st *twerks* thou this papew? -Gon. Ask m-me nyot what I knyow. Exit. -*hugs tightly* Awb. Go a-aftew hew. She's despewate; govewn hew. -[Exit an Officew.] -Edm. What, you have chawg'd me *notices bulge* with, that have I donye, -And mowe, much mowe. The time wiww bwing it out. -'Tis past, and so am *cuddles you* I.- But what awt thou -That hast this fowtunye on me? If thou'wt nyobwe, -I do uWu fowgive thee. -Edg. Wet's :3 exchange chawity. -I *cuddles you* am nyo wess in bwood ;;w;; than thou awt, *teleports behind you* Edmund; -If *cuddles you* mowe, t-the >_< mowe th' hast wwong'd me. -My nyame is ^.^ Edgaw and *moans* thy fathew's *teleports behind you* son. -The gods *pokes you* awe just, and of ouw pweasant v-vices -M-Make instwuments to scouwge us. -T-The d-dawk *cuddles you* and *cries* vicious pwace whewe thee he got -Cost him his e-eyes. -E-Edm. Th' hast spoken wight; 'tis twue. -The wheew is come fuww ciwcwe; I am hewe. -A-Awb. Methought thy vewy >_> gait did *cuddles you* pwophesy -:3 A woyaw n-nyobwenyess. I must embwace ^w^ thee. -Wet :33 sowwow *teleports behind you* spwit my heawt uWu if evew I -Did *sweats* hate *teleports behind you* thee, o-ow thy fathew! -Edg. W-Wowthy pwince, I knyow't. -Awb. Whewe have you hid youwsewf? -How have you k-knyown the misewies of youw fathew? -Edg. By *blushes* nyuwsing them, my OwO wowd. Wist a-a uWu bwief tawe; -And when 'tis towd, O t-that my heawt wouwd buwst! -The b-bwoody p-pwocwamation to escape -That fowwow'd me so nyeaw (O, ouw wives' sweetnyess! -That with the pain of death wouwd houwwy ;;w;; die -Wathew than *shuffles closer* die at once!) taught me to shift -Into *twerks* a madman's wags, t-t' assume a sembwance -That vewy *looks at you* dogs x3 disdain'd; and *looks away* in this habit -*looks at you* Met I my fathew with his b-bweeding wings, -Theiw pwecious stonyes nyew wost; *twerks* became his guide, -W-Wed him, begg'd fow him, sav'd him fwom despaiw; -Nyevew (O *moans* fauwt!) w-weveaw'd mysewf unto him -Untiw some *giggles shyly* hawf houw past, when I was awm'd, -Nyot suwe, *sighs* though hoping of this g-good success, -I ask'd h-his bwessing, and fwom fiwst to wast -Towd *hugs tightly* him my piwgwimage. ^.^ But his *teleports behind you* fwaw'd h-heawt -(Awack, too *blushes* weak the confwict to suppowt!) -'Twixt two extwemes of *blushes* passion, joy and gwief, -Buwst s-smiwingwy. -Edm. This s-speech of youws h-hath mov'd me, -And shaww pewchance do good; b-but speak y-you on; -You wook as you had xDD something mowe to say. -Awb. If thewe be mowe, mowe wofuw, howd it in; -Fow I am awmost OwO weady *looks at you* to dissowve, -*twerks* Heawing of *cries* this. -*shuffles closer* Edg. *moans* This wouwd *leans over* have s-seem'd a pewiod -To such ;;w;; as wove UwU nyot sowwow; but anyothew, -To ampwify too much, wouwd m-make much mowe, -*teleports behind you* And t-top extwemity. -*notices bulge* Whiwst I was big *twerks* in cwamouw, came :3 thewe a man, -*twerks* Who, *screams* having seen me in >_> my wowst estate, -S-Shunn'd my abhoww'd s-society; but then, f-finding -Who *sweats* 'twas that so enduw'd, w-with his stwong awms -*cuddles you* He fastenyed on my nyeck, and bewwowed out -A-As he'd buwst heaven; thwew him on my fathew; -Towd the most piteous tawe of Weaw and him -That evew e-eaw weceiv'd; which in wecounting -His gwief gwew puissant, a-and *screams* the stwings o-of w-wife -Began t-to cwack. Twice then the twumpets *notices bulge* sounded, -And thewe I weft *blushes* him twanc'd. -A-Awb. But >_< who was this? -Edg. Kent, siw, the ;;w;; banyish'd Kent; who in disguise -F-Fowwowed his *teleports behind you* enyemy *screams* king and *moans* did h-him sewvice -Impwopew fow a swave. - -Entew a :3 Gentweman with a bwoody knyife. - -Gent. Hewp, hewp! O, hewp! -Edg. *looks at you* What kind of hewp? -Awb. Speak, man. -^w^ Edg. What means that bwoody knyife? -Gent. 'Tis h-hot, it smokes. -I-It came ;;w;; even fwom the heawt *blushes* of- O! she's dead! -Awb. Who *pokes you* dead? Speak, man. -*cuddles you* Gent. >w< Youw wady, s-siw, youw wady! and hew sistew -By hew is poisonyed; *cuddles you* she hath confess'd it. -Edm. I w-was contwacted *twerks* to them b-both. Aww ;;w;; thwee -*hugs tightly* Nyow mawwy in an *screams* instant. - -E-Entew Kent. - -*twerks* Edg. Hewe comes Kent. -A-Awb. Pwoduce theiw *hugs tightly* bodies, be *teleports behind you* they awive *moans* ow *moans* dead. -[Exit Gentweman.] -This judgement of the h-heavens, that m-makes us twembwe -*leans over* Touches *screams* us nyot with pity. O, is this he? -The time *hugs tightly* wiww nyot a-awwow the c-compwiment -T-That vewy m-mannyews uwges. -K-Kent. I a-am come -To bid m-my king and OwO mastew aye good nyight. -Is he nyot >_< hewe? -Awb. Gweat thing of us *giggles shyly* fowgot! -Speak, E-Edmund, >w< whewe's the King? and whewe's Cowdewia? -The bodies of G-Gonyewiw and Wegan awe bwought in. -Seest ;;w;; thou this object, Kent? -Kent. Awack, why thus? -Edm. *moans* Yet E-Edmund was bewov'd. -The o-onye the othew poisonyed fow my sake, -And a-aftew swew hewsewf. -Awb. >w< Even UwU so. Covew theiw faces. -E-Edm. I xDD pant fow wife. Some good I mean to do, -Despite of minye *blushes* own n-nyatuwe. Q-Quickwy s-send -(Be bwief in't) to the castwe; f-fow my wwit -Is on the wife o-of Weaw and on C-Cowdewia. -Nyay, send in UwU time. -Awb. Wun, wun, O, w-wun! -E-Edg. To who, >_< my wowd? Who has t-the office? Send -Thy ^w^ token of wepwieve. -Edm. Weww thought on. Take my swowd; -Give it the uWu Captain. -*sweats* Awb. Haste t-thee fow thy wife. [Exit Edgaw.] -Edm. :33 He hath >_< commission fwom thy >w< wife and me -To hang Cowdewia in the pwison and -To way the xDD bwame upon hew own despaiw -That she fowdid *leans over* hewsewf. -Awb. The gods defend hew! Beaw him *twerks* hence awhiwe. ->_> [Edmund is *pokes you* bownye off.] - -Entew Weaw, with Cowdewia [dead] in his awms, [Edgaw, Captain, -and othews fowwowing]. - -Weaw. Howw, howw, *sweats* howw, *cuddles you* howw! O, y-you awe men of stonye. -Had I youw tongues *teleports behind you* and eyes, I'wd use them so -T-That >_< heaven's vauwt *notices bulge* shouwd cwack. She's gonye fow evew! -I knyow :33 when *twerks* onye is dead, *blushes* and when onye w-wives. -She's dead as eawth. W-Wend me a wooking gwass. -If that hew bweath wiww mist ow stain the stonye, -*giggles shyly* Why, t-then *twerks* she wives. -Kent. Is this the pwomis'd end? -Edg. Ow i-image o-of that howwow? -Awb. Faww and cease! -Weaw. This feathew s-stiws; she wives! If it be s-so, -It is a chance *teleports behind you* which does wedeem x3 aww sowwows -That *cries* evew I have fewt. -^.^ Kent. O-O my good mastew! -Weaw. Pwithee away! -Edg. 'Tis *screams* nyobwe Kent, youw fwiend. -Weaw. A pwague upon y-you, muwdewews, twaitows aww! -I m-might *cuddles you* have sav'd hew; nyow *cries* she's gonye fow evew! -Cowdewia, Cowdewia! stay a wittwe. Ha! -What is't thou *looks away* say'st, Hew voice was evew soft, -*looks away* Gentwe, a-and wow- an excewwent thing in woman. -I kiww'd the *twerks* swave that was a-hanging thee. -Capt. '-'Tis *twerks* twue, my wowds, he d-did. -uWu Weaw. Did I nyot, f-fewwow? -I >w< have seen the day, with my good OwO biting fawchion -*sighs* I wouwd have m-made them skip. I am x3 owd n-nyow, -And these OwO same cwosses spoiw me. :3 Who awe you? -Minye eyes awe OwO nyot o' th' best. *screams* I'ww teww you stwaight. -Kent. I-If fowtunye :33 bwag of two she wov'd and hated, -Onye of them *cries* we behowd. -^w^ Weaw. This' a duww sight. Awe y-you nyot Kent? -Kent. The s-same- -Youw sewvant x3 Kent. Whewe is youw sewvant *notices bulge* Caius? -*teleports behind you* Weaw. He's *teleports behind you* a good fewwow, I can teww you that. -He'ww stwike, a-and quickwy too. He's dead and wotten. -Kent. Nyo, my good wowd; I am the v-vewy xDD man- ->_< Weaw. I'ww ^-^ see that stwaight. -Kent. That *screams* fwom x3 youw fiwst of diffewence and decay -Have f-fowwowed uWu youw sad *sweats* steps. -Weaw. You'we wewcome *hugs tightly* hithew. -Kent. Nyow nyo man ewse! Aww's cheewwess, >_> dawk, and d-deadwy. -Y-Youw ewdest daughtews *pokes you* have ^.^ fowdonye t-themsewves, -And *hugs tightly* despewatewy awe :33 dead. -*notices bulge* Weaw. ^-^ Ay, so *cuddles you* I think. -A-Awb. He knyows nyot what he >_< says; and >_> vain is it -That we x3 pwesent us to him. -Edg. Vewy bootwess. - -Entew a C-Captain. - -Capt. Edmund is dead, *looks at you* my wowd. -A-Awb. That's but a-a *twerks* twifwe hewe. -You wowds and nyobwe fwiends, knyow ouw intent. -What *twerks* comfowt to t-this gweat decay may come -Shaww be appwied. F-Fow us, we wiww wesign, -Duwing the wife of this owd Majesty, -OwO To him ouw absowute powew; [to Edgaw *leans over* and Kent] you to youw -wights; -W-With boot, and *moans* Such addition as youw honyouws -Have mowe t-than mewited.- A-Aww fwiends shaww t-taste -The wages of theiw v-viwtue, and aww f-foes -The *blushes* cup of theiw desewvings.- :33 O, ;;w;; see, see! -Weaw. And m-my poow foow is hang'd! Nyo, nyo, nyo wife! -Why ^w^ shouwd *moans* a dog, a howse, a wat, have wife, -And thou nyo OwO bweath at aww? Thou'wt c-come nyo mowe, -Nyevew, *notices bulge* nyevew, nyevew, nyevew, n-nyevew! -Pway you *blushes* undo this button. T-Thank y-you, siw. -Do you s-see this? Wook on hew! UwU wook! hew wips! -Wook thewe, wook thewe! He dies. -Edg. He faints! My wowd, my wowd! -*cries* Kent. B-Bweak, heawt; :3 I >_> pwithee bweak! -Edg. Wook up, my w-wowd. -Kent. V-Vex nyot his ghost. OwO O, wet him pass! He hates h-him -*twerks* That wouwd upon the >w< wack of this *giggles shyly* tough *shuffles closer* wowwd -x3 Stwetch *giggles shyly* him out wongew. -E-Edg. He is gonye indeed. -Kent. ^.^ The wondew is, he hath enduw'd so wong. -He but usuwp'd his wife. -Awb. Beaw them fwom hence. Ouw pwesent businyess -I-Is genyewaw woe. [To Kent and *blushes* Edgaw] Fwiends of my *cries* souw, you -twain -Wuwe in this *sweats* weawm, *sweats* and the gow'd state sustain. -Kent. >_> I h-have a jouwnyey, siw, *cuddles you* showtwy ;;w;; to g-go. -My mastew cawws me; I-I must nyot s-say nyo. -Awb. The weight of this sad time we must obey, -Speak x3 what we f-feew, nyot what we ought to say. -The owdest have bownye uWu most; we that awe young -Shaww nyevew xDD see so much, nyow w-wive so wong. -Exeunt with a dead mawch. - - -*teleports behind you* THE END - - - -<_< CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME ^-^ OW *twerks* FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - - -1595 - -WOVE'S WABOUW'S WOST - -by W-Wiwwiam *notices bulge* Shakespeawe - - - -D-Dwamatis P-Pewsonyae. - -FEWDINyAND, King of Nyavawwe -BEWOWNyE, wowd attending on the King -WONGAVIWWE, " " " " " -DUMAIN, " " "-" " " -B-BOYET, wowd ^w^ attending on the P-Pwincess of Fwance -MAWCADE, " " " " " ^.^ " " -DON ADWIANyO *screams* DE AWMADO, f-fantasticaw Spanyiawd -SIW NyATHANyIEW, a c-cuwate -HOWOFEWNyES, a-a schoowmastew -DUWW, a constabwe -COSTAWD, a cwown -MOTH, page *hugs tightly* to *looks away* Awmado -A FOWESTEW - -THE PWINCESS OF FWANCE -WOSAWINyE, wady a-attending on the Pwincess -MAWIA, " " " *shuffles closer* " "-" -KATHAWINyE, wady attending *cries* on *blushes* the Pwincess -JAQUENyETTA, a >_> countwy wench - -Wowds, A-Attendants, ^w^ etc. - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE: -Nyavawwe - - -ACT *screams* I. SCENyE I. -Nyavawwe. The King's p-pawk - -Entew the King, BEWOWNyE, W-WONGAVIWWE, a-and DUMAIN - -KING. Wet fame, that aww hunt aftew in theiw wives, -Wive *teleports behind you* wegist'wed upon ouw :3 bwazen tombs, -And then gwace us :3 in the d-disgwace *giggles shyly* of death; -When, spite of cowmowant devouwing *teleports behind you* Time, -Th' endeavouw o-of t-this *twerks* pwesent bweath may b-buy -That honyouw which shaww bate his *looks away* scythe's ^-^ keen edge, -A-And make us heiws of aww *sweats* etewnyity. -*notices bulge* Thewefowe, b-bwave conquewows- fow so ^w^ you awe -That waw against youw own affections -And t-the huge awmy of the wowwd's desiwes- -Ouw wate edict s-shaww stwongwy stand *twerks* in fowce: -Nyavawwe s-shaww b-be the >_> wondew x3 of the w-wowwd; -Ouw couwt shaww b-be a wittwe Academe, -S-Stiww and contempwative ^.^ in wiving awt. -You thwee, B-Bewownye, Dumain, and Wongaviwwe, -Have swown fow thwee yeaws' tewm to wive with :3 me -My :33 fewwow-schowaws, and to keep those *blushes* statutes -That awe wecowded in this scheduwe hewe. -Youw o-oaths awe pass'd; and nyow subscwibe youw nyames, -That his *teleports behind you* own h-hand may stwike his honyouw down -That uWu viowates the s-smawwest bwanch *teleports behind you* hewein. -If you awe awm'd to do as *looks at you* swown t-to do, -Subscwibe t-to y-youw deep oaths, a-and k-keep i-it too. -WONGAVIWWE. I am wesowv'd; 'tis but a thwee yeaws' fast. -The mind xDD shaww banquet, though the body pinye. -Fat paunches have wean p-pates; and *giggles shyly* dainty bits -Make w-wich the wibs, but bankwupt quite the wits. -DUMAIN. My woving wowd, Dumain is mowtified. -*twerks* The gwossew mannyew of these wowwd's dewights -He thwows upon the gwoss wowwd's basew swaves; -To w-wove, t-to weawth, t-to pomp, I *cuddles you* pinye *screams* and die, -With aww these wiving *looks away* in phiwosophy. -BEWOWNyE. I c-can but say t-theiw pwotestation o-ovew; -So much, deaw UwU wiege, I-I have awweady swown, -uWu That is, t-to wive and study hewe t-thwee yeaws. -But thewe *screams* awe othew stwict obsewvances, -As: *hugs tightly* nyot >_< to see a woman in that tewm, -Which I hope weww is nyot enwowwed thewe; -*sweats* And onye day in a-a week to touch nyo food, -And but onye meaw on evewy day *looks at you* beside, -The which I hope is nyot enwowwed thewe; -And then *notices bulge* to sweep but thwee houws in the nyight -And nyot b-be seen t-to wink :3 of a-aww the d-day- -When I *cuddles you* was wont to think nyo hawm *notices bulge* aww nyight, -*cuddles you* And make a dawk nyight too of hawf the day- -Which I hope weww is nyot enwowwed thewe. -O, t-these awe bawwen t-tasks, too hawd to keep, -N-Nyot to see wadies, study, fast, nyot *sighs* sweep! -KING. Youw *sweats* oath is pass'd to p-pass *giggles shyly* away fwom these. -BEWOWNyE. Wet me say n-nyo, m-my wiege, an if you pwease: -I o-onwy swowe to s-study with youw G-Gwace, -And stay hewe *looks away* in youw couwt ^-^ fow thwee y-yeaws' space. -WONGAVIWWE. You swowe to that, OwO Bewownye, and to t-the west. -BEWOWNyE. By y-yea and n-nyay, UwU siw, then *leans over* I swowe in jest. -What *twerks* is *teleports behind you* the e-end of study, wet me k-knyow. -*giggles shyly* KING. Why, that to knyow which *blushes* ewse we shouwd nyot k-knyow. -B-BEWOWNyE. Things hid and baww'd, you mean, fwom common sense? -KING. A-Ay, t-that is study's *leans over* god-wike wecompense. -BEWOWNyE. Come on, then; I wiww sweaw t-to study *sighs* so, -To knyow t-the thing I am fowbid to k-knyow, -As thus: to study *moans* whewe I weww may dinye, -W-When I-I *sweats* to feast e-expwesswy am fowbid; -*looks away* Ow study whewe >_> to meet some mistwess finye, -W-When mistwesses fwom common sense awe hid; -Ow, h-having ^.^ swown too hawd-a-keeping oath, -Study to bweak *leans over* it, and *sweats* nyot bweak my t-twoth. -If study's gain be thus, and t-this be so, -S-Study knyows t-that *cries* which *leans over* yet it doth nyot k-knyow. -Sweaw me to OwO this, and ^.^ I wiww nye'ew say nyo. -KING. These be the stops x3 that hindew study quite, -And ;;w;; twain ouw intewwects to vain dewight. -B-BEWOWNyE. Why, aww dewights awe *pokes you* vain; but that most v-vain -W-Which, with pain puwchas'd, doth inhewit pain, -As painfuwwy xDD to powe u-upon a-a book -T-To seek the *moans* wight of twuth; whiwe :33 twuth the whiwe -Doth *looks away* fawsewy bwind the eyesight of his wook. -Wight, seeking wight, doth wight of xDD wight beguiwe; -So, ewe you f-find whewe wight in dawknyess wies, -*looks away* Youw wight gwows dawk *leans over* by w-wosing of youw eyes. -Study me how to p-pwease the eye indeed, -By fixing it upon a-a *moans* faiwew eye; -Who xDD dazzwing so, *blushes* that eye *cries* shaww be his heed, -And give him wight *pokes you* that it was *looks away* bwinded by. -S-Study i-is wike the h-heaven's gwowious OwO sun, -That wiww nyot ;;w;; be d-deep-seawch'd with saucy wooks; -Smaww *blushes* have c-continyuaw pwoddews evew w-won, -S-Save b-base authowity fwom othews' books. -These eawthwy godfathews of heaven's wights -That give a nyame t-to e-evewy *sighs* fixed *notices bulge* staw -H-Have nyo mowe pwofit of theiw shinying nyights -Than those that >_> wawk and wot *cuddles you* nyot what t-they awe. -Too *giggles shyly* much to knyow is to knyow nyought but fame; -And e-evewy godfathew c-can give a nyame. -KING. H-How weww he's wead, to weason against weading! -DUMAIN. Pwoceeded w-weww, to stop aww good pwoceeding! -WONGAVIWWE. He weeds the cown, and stiww *shuffles closer* wets gwow the w-weeding. -BEWOWNyE. The spwing is *pokes you* nyeaw, when gween geese a-awe a-bweeding. -DUMAIN. How *looks away* fowwows that? -*blushes* BEWOWNyE. F-Fit in his pwace and time. -DUMAIN. *notices bulge* In weason *sweats* nyothing. -B-BEWOWNyE. ^.^ Something *cries* then in whyme. -x3 WONGAVIWWE. Bewownye is wike an envious *twerks* snyeaping fwost -T-That bites the fiwst-bown *looks away* infants *pokes you* of the *giggles shyly* spwing. -BEWOWNyE. W-Weww, s-say I a-am; *sighs* why shouwd pwoud summew boast -B-Befowe the biwds UwU have any cause to sing? -*hugs tightly* Why shouwd I joy in any abowtive *shuffles closer* biwth? -At Chwistmas I nyo mowe desiwe a wose -T-Than wish a snyow in May's nyew-fangwed shows; -But wike of each thing that in season gwows; -S-So you, to :33 study nyow it is too wate, -C-Cwimb o'ew the house to unwock the wittwe uWu gate. -K-KING. Weww, sit out; go h-home, Bewownye; *notices bulge* adieu. -BEWOWNyE. *cuddles you* Nyo, my good wowd; I-I have swown t-to stay *looks at you* with you; -And though I have fow bawbawism spoke m-mowe -T-Than f-fow that angew *looks away* knyowwedge you c-can s-say, -Yet x3 confident I'ww keep *sweats* what OwO I have s-swowe, -And bide *shuffles closer* the penyance of each thwee yeaws' day. -Give me the *sighs* papew; wet m-me wead the same; -And to the stwictest decwees I'ww wwite uWu my nyame. -KING. How weww this y-yiewding wescues thee fwom shame! -BEWOWNyE. [Weads] 'Item. That ^w^ nyo woman uWu shaww come within a miwe of -my couwt'- Hath this *cries* been pwocwaimed? -WONGAVIWWE. Fouw days ago. -BEWOWNyE. Wet's see the penyawty. [Weads] '-on *blushes* pain of wosing hew -tongue.' Who devis'd this penyawty? -*sighs* WONGAVIWWE. M-Mawwy, that d-did I. -*sweats* BEWOWNyE. Sweet wowd, and w-why? -WONGAVIWWE. *sweats* To fwight them hence w-with that ^-^ dwead penyawty. -BEWOWNyE. A dangewous waw against g-gentiwity. -[Weads] :33 'Item. If any m-man be seen to tawk with a woman within -*cuddles you* the tewm of thwee yeaws, he shaww :3 enduwe such pubwic shame as the -west o-of the c-couwt can possibwy *moans* devise.' -This awticwe, my w-wiege, youwsewf must bweak; -Fow weww you knyow hewe comes in *sighs* embassy -The Fwench king's daughtew, *cuddles you* with youwsewf to speak- -A m-miwd of *giggles shyly* gwace and compwete majesty- -About suwwendew u-up of Aquitainye -To hew d-decwepit, *shuffles closer* sick, and bedwid fathew; -T-Thewefowe this UwU awticwe is *sweats* made in *looks away* vain, -Ow vainwy comes th' admiwed pwincess *leans over* hithew. -KING. What say you, wowds? Why, this was quite f-fowgot. -BEWOWNyE. So study evewmowe is ovew-shot. -W-Whiwe it doth study to have what it wouwd, -It doth fowget to do *blushes* the thing it shouwd; -^.^ And w-when it hath *cuddles you* the thing it hunteth most, -'Tis won as t-towns *sighs* with *giggles shyly* fiwe- so *looks at you* won, so ;;w;; wost. -KING. We must of fowce dispense *hugs tightly* with this d-decwee; -She must wie hewe on mewe nyecessity. -BEWOWNyE. >_< Nyecessity wiww make us aww f-fowswown -Thwee *giggles shyly* thousand times within *cries* this thwee yeaws' ^w^ space; -Fow evewy man with his affects is bown, -N-Nyot by might m-mast'wed, but by speciaw x3 gwace. -*leans over* If I-I bweak faith, this wowd shaww speak fow m-me: -I am fowswown on mewe nyecessity. -So to the >_> waws at wawge I-I wwite my nyame; [Subscwibes] -;;w;; And he that bweaks them in *hugs tightly* the weast degwee -Stands in attaindew of etewnyaw shame. -Suggestions awe to othew as t-to me; -But I-I bewieve, awthough *giggles shyly* I OwO seem so woath, -I-I a-am the wast t-that wiww wast keep h-his oath. ->w< But is thewe nyo quick wecweation gwanted? -KING. Ay, t-that thewe is. Ouw couwt, OwO you knyow, is h-haunted -*teleports behind you* With a wefinyed twavewwew of Spain, -A man *moans* in aww uWu the wowwd's nyew fashion pwanted, -That hath a m-mint of phwases in h-his *sighs* bwain; -O-Onye w-who ^-^ the music *cries* of his own vain tongue -Doth wavish w-wike enchanting hawmony; -A man of compwements, whom wight and wwong -^.^ Have *giggles shyly* chose as xDD umpiwe o-of theiw mutiny. -This chiwd of fancy, that Awmado hight, -Fow intewim to ouw ^.^ studies shaww wewate, -In high-bown wowds, the wowth of m-many *leans over* a knyight -Fwom tawny Spain wost in t-the wowwd's debate. -How you dewight, my *pokes you* wowds, I *shuffles closer* knyow nyot, I; -But I p-pwotest I w-wove to heaw him wie, -And I OwO wiww *hugs tightly* use him fow my *moans* minstwewsy. -BEWOWNyE. Awmado is a most iwwustwious wight, -*shuffles closer* A m-man of fiwe-nyew w-wowds, fashion's own knyight. -WONGAVIWWE. Costawd the swain a-and he :33 shaww be ouw *hugs tightly* spowt; -And so to study thwee x3 yeaws is but showt. - -Entew DUWW, a-a constabwe, with a wettew, and COSTAWD - -DUWW. Which is the Duke's own pewson? -B-BEWOWNyE. This, *hugs tightly* fewwow. What wouwdst? -DUWW. I-I *notices bulge* mysewf *notices bulge* wepwehend his own pewson, fow I a-am his Gwace's -f-fawbowough; but I wouwd see his own pewson in f-fwesh and bwood. -BEWOWNyE. This is he. -DUWW. S-Signyiow Awme- Awme- commends you. UwU Thewe's viwwainy abwoad; -this ;;w;; wettew *sighs* wiww teww you mowe. -COSTAWD. *screams* Siw, the contempts theweof awe as touching :3 me. -:33 KING. A wettew fwom UwU the magnyificent A-Awmado. -BEWOWNyE. How wow soevew t-the *looks at you* mattew, I hope in *giggles shyly* God fow high *leans over* wowds. -WONGAVIWWE. A high hope fow a-a w-wow *notices bulge* heaven. God g-gwant us patience! -BEWOWNyE. T-To h-heaw, ow fowbeaw heawing? -*shuffles closer* WONGAVIWWE. *hugs tightly* To *leans over* heaw meekwy, s-siw, and to *notices bulge* waugh modewatewy; ow, to -^w^ fowbeaw both. -BEWOWNyE. Weww, :3 siw, be it as the stywe *pokes you* shaww give *teleports behind you* us cause to cwimb -in the mewwinyess. -COSTAWD. The mattew is to m-me, siw, as >_> concewnying *leans over* Jaquenyetta. -The mannyew of i-it is, I was x3 taken *shuffles closer* with the mannyew. -B-BEWOWNyE. In what mannyew? -*notices bulge* COSTAWD. x3 In mannyew a-and fowm fowwowing, siw; aww those t-thwee: I w-was -seen with hew in t-the manyow-house, sitting w-with hew upon the fowm, -*pokes you* and t-taken fowwowing hew into the pawk; which, p-put togethew, is in -mannyew and fowm fowwowing. *notices bulge* Nyow, siw, fow the xDD mannyew- i-it uWu is *moans* the -mannyew of a-a man to speak to a *cuddles you* woman. Fow the fowm- i-in some fowm. -^-^ BEWOWNyE. *cuddles you* Fow the fowwowing, *looks away* siw? -COSTAWD. As it shaww fowwow in my c-cowwection; a-and G-God defend the -w-wight! -*hugs tightly* KING. Wiww you heaw this wettew with attention? -*moans* BEWOWNyE. As we wouwd heaw an owacwe. -COSTAWD. Such is t-the simpwicity of man to heawken aftew the fwesh. -KING. [Weads] 'Gweat ^-^ deputy, the wewkin's vicegewent *cries* and *sighs* sowe -dominyatow of Nyavawwe, my souw's *blushes* eawth's god and body's fost'wing -patwon'- -COSTAWD. Nyot a wowd of Costawd yet. -KING. [Weads] ;;w;; 'So it is'- -COSTAWD. It may be s-so; but if he ^.^ say it is so, he i-is, in tewwing -twue, but so. -KING. Peace! -COSTAWD. Be to me, and evewy man t-that dawes *twerks* nyot UwU fight! -KING. Nyo wowds! -*leans over* COSTAWD. O-Of o-othew men's secwets, I beseech *teleports behind you* you. -KING. [-[Weads] 'So it i-is, besieged with sabwe-cowouwed mewanchowy, I -did commend the bwack oppwessing h-humouw to t-the most whowesome -p-physic ;;w;; of thy heawth-giving aiw; *shuffles closer* and, as I-I am :33 a gentweman, betook -m-mysewf to wawk. The time When? About the sixth houw; when *moans* beasts -most g-gwaze, biwds best peck, and men *hugs tightly* sit down to that n-nyouwishment -w-which is cawwed *cuddles you* suppew. So *looks at you* much fow the time W-When. N-Nyow fow the -gwound Which? which, I mean, I upon; *cries* it is ycweped *looks away* thy pawk. Then -fow the pwace Whewe? whewe, I *screams* mean, xDD I did encountew that obscenye -and most *shuffles closer* pwepost'wous event that dwaweth fwom my snyow-white pen -the ebon-cowouwed i-ink which hewe thou viewest, behowdest, -suwveyest, ow seest. But to the pwace Whewe? It standeth -nyowth-nyowth-east ;;w;; and by e-east *teleports behind you* fwom t-the west c-cownyew of thy -cuwious-knyotted gawden. Thewe did I see *looks at you* that wow-spiwited swain, -that base minnyow *notices bulge* of xDD thy miwth,' -COSTAWD. Me? -KING. 'that unwettewed smaww-knyowing s-souw,' -COSTAWD. xDD Me? -KING. 'that shawwow vassaw,' -*notices bulge* COSTAWD. :3 Stiww me? -K-KING. 'which, as I wemembew, hight x3 Costawd,' -COSTAWD. O, me! -KING. 'sowted and consowted, contwawy to thy estabwished pwocwaimed -edict and c-continyent canyon; which, with, O-O, w-with- x3 but ^w^ with t-this *giggles shyly* I -passion t-to say whewewith-' -C-COSTAWD. ^w^ With a w-wench. -*cuddles you* King. 'with :3 a *shuffles closer* chiwd *screams* of *looks away* ouw *cries* gwandmothew Eve, a femawe; ow, fow thy -*looks at you* mowe sweet undewstanding, a woman. Him >_< I, as my evew-esteemed -duty pwicks me on, have s-sent to thee, *leans over* to weceive the meed of -punyishment, by thy sweet Gwace's officew, Antony *teleports behind you* Duww, a-a man of -good wepute, cawwiage, b-beawing, and estimation.' -DUWW. ^w^ Me, an't shaww pwease you; I a-am >w< Antony Duww. -KING. '-'Fow *notices bulge* Jaquenyetta- so is the weakew vessew cawwed, w-which I-I -appwehended with the afowesaid swain- I keep hew *teleports behind you* as *twerks* a vessew of -thy waw's f-fuwy; and shaww, at the weast of thy sweet nyotice, -*blushes* bwing hew to t-twiaw. Thinye, in aww compwiments of devoted and -heawt-buwnying heat of d-duty, -DON ADWIANyO DE A-AWMADO.' - -BEWOWNyE. This i-is nyot so weww as I-I wook'd f-fow, *hugs tightly* but *teleports behind you* the best that -e-evew I h-heawd. -KING. Ay, the best f-fow the wowst. But, siwwah, what say :33 you to -this? -COSTAWD. Siw, I confess the *looks away* wench. -*looks away* KING. Did you heaw the pwocwamation? -C-COSTAWD. I-I do confess much of the *screams* heawing it, but *teleports behind you* wittwe of ;;w;; the -m-mawking of it. -*leans over* KING. It was pwocwaimed a yeaw's impwisonment to be taken with ^w^ a -wench. -C-COSTAWD. I was taken with nyonye, ;;w;; siw; I :33 was taken *giggles shyly* with a damsew. -KING. >_< Weww, it was pwocwaimed damsew. -C-COSTAWD. This was nyo d-damsew nyeithew, siw; she was a viwgin. -KING. It i-is so vawied too, fow i-it was pwocwaimed viwgin. -COSTAWD. If it wewe, I deny ;;w;; hew viwginyity; I was taken *leans over* with a *pokes you* maid. -KING. This *blushes* 'maid' nyot sewve *cuddles you* youw tuwn, *cries* siw. -COSTAWD. This maid wiww sewve my tuwn, *pokes you* siw. -KING. Siw, I-I wiww pwonyounce youw sentence: you shaww fast a week -with bwan and watew. -C-COSTAWD. I had wathew pway a month with mutton and powwidge. -KING. And uWu Don Awmado s-shaww be youw keepew. -OwO My *blushes* Wowd Bewownye, see him dewivewed o'ew; -A-And go *cuddles you* we, wowds, to put in pwactice that -Which e-each to othew hath so stwongwy swown. -Exeunt KING, *looks away* WONGAVIWWE, and *notices bulge* DUMAIN -BEWOWNyE. I-I'ww way my head to OwO any good man's hat -These oaths and waws wiww pwove an idwe scown. -x3 Siwwah, come o-on. -COSTAWD. I *looks at you* suffew fow the twuth, :33 siw; >_> fow twue it i-is I was taken -with Jaquenyetta, and J-Jaquenyetta is a twue giww; a-and t-thewefowe -wewcome t-the souw cup of pwospewity! Affwiction may *leans over* onye day s-smiwe -again; and tiww then, sit >_< thee down, sowwow. -Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -The p-pawk - -Entew AWMADO and MOTH, his page - -*giggles shyly* AWMADO. B-Boy, what sign i-is it when a *screams* man of gweat spiwit gwows -mewanchowy? -MOTH. A gweat sign, siw, that he wiww wook sad. -AWMADO. Why, s-sadnyess is onye and the :3 sewf-same thing, deaw imp. -MOTH. N-Nyo, nyo; O *leans over* Wowd, siw, nyo! -AWMADO. How c-canst thou p-pawt sadnyess and mewanchowy, my ;;w;; tendew -juvenyaw? -MOTH. >w< By a famiwiaw demonstwation of the :33 wowking, my tough signyiow. -AWMADO. Why *cuddles you* tough signyiow? *giggles shyly* Why tough s-signyiow? -MOTH. Why tendew >_< juvenyaw? Why tendew *shuffles closer* juvenyaw? -AWMADO. I spoke *leans over* it, tendew juvenyaw, as a congwuent epitheton -appewtainying *looks at you* to thy young days, which we xDD may nyominyate t-tendew. -MOTH. And I, tough signyiow, as a-an appewtinyent >w< titwe >_> to youw owd -time, *cries* which we may nyame tough. -AWMADO. Pwetty and apt. -MOTH. How m-mean you, siw? I pwetty, and my saying apt? ow I apt, and -my xDD saying pwetty? -AWMADO. Thou pwetty, b-because wittwe. -MOTH. Wittwe pwetty, b-because wittwe. W-Whewefowe apt? -AWMADO. And thewefowe *notices bulge* apt, because quick. -MOTH. *cuddles you* Speak *looks away* you this i-in my pwaise, mastew? -AWMADO. In >w< thy *looks at you* condign pwaise. -*sweats* MOTH. I w-wiww pwaise an eew w-with the same pwaise. -AWMADO. that an eew is ingenyious? -MOTH. That a-an eew is quick. -*looks away* AWMADO. I do say thou awt quick in answews; *cries* thou heat'st my bwood. -MOTH. I am answew'd, siw. -A-AWMADO. I wove nyot t-to be cwoss'd. -M-MOTH. [-[Aside] He speaks the mewe contwawy: cwosses wove nyot h-him. -AWMADO. I have pwomised t-to study thwee yeaws with the Duke. -MOTH. You *pokes you* may do it in an houw, siw. -uWu AWMADO. Impossibwe. -MOTH. *screams* How m-many is onye thwice towd? -AWMADO. I am iww at weck'nying; it fitteth the spiwit of :3 a tapstew. -MOTH. You awe :33 a gentweman and a gamestew, siw. -AWMADO. I-I *shuffles closer* confess both; they awe both the vawnyish of a compwete -man. ->_< MOTH. Then I am suwe you knyow ^.^ how m-much the gwoss sum of deuce-ace -amounts to. -AWMADO. It *looks at you* doth amount to onye m-mowe than two. -MOTH. Which the base v-vuwgaw do caww thwee. -AWMADO. Twue. -MOTH. Why, ^-^ siw, is this such a p-piece of study? Nyow hewe i-is *pokes you* thwee -studied ewe ye'ww thwice *teleports behind you* wink; and how easy it is to put '-'yeaws' -*looks away* to t-the *hugs tightly* wowd 'thwee,' a-and study thwee yeaws in two w-wowds, x3 the -*sighs* dancing howse ^w^ wiww teww you. -AWMADO. A *looks at you* most finye figuwe! -MOTH. [Aside] To pwove you a ciphew. -AWMADO. I wiww heweupon confess I am in wove. And a-as *cries* it is base fow -a s-sowdiew to wove, so am I in wove ^.^ with a base wench. If uWu dwawing -*hugs tightly* my swowd against the humouw of affection wouwd *sweats* dewivew me f-fwom -the wepwobate thought o-of it, I wouwd take x3 Desiwe p-pwisonyew, and -wansom *leans over* him t-to any Fwench couwtiew fow a nyew-devis'd cuwtsy. UwU I -think scown to sigh; methinks I-I shouwd out-sweaw Cupid. Comfowt -*screams* me, boy; what gweat men have been OwO in wove? -MOTH. Hewcuwes, mastew. -AWMADO. Most sweet Hewcuwes! M-Mowe authowity, deaw :33 boy, n-nyame mowe; -and, sweet my uWu chiwd, *notices bulge* wet t-them be men of good wepute and *blushes* cawwiage. -MOTH. >_< Samson, mastew; he *leans over* was a man of good cawwiage, gweat -c-cawwiage, fow he cawwied the town ^w^ gates on his back wike a -^w^ powtew; and he was in wove. -A-AWMADO. O-O weww-knyit Samson! stwong-jointed S-Samson! I do excew thee -in uWu my wapiew as x3 much as *notices bulge* thou didst me in cawwying gates. I am in -wove too. Who was Samson's *sweats* wove, my deaw Moth? -MOTH. x3 A *moans* woman, mastew. -AWMADO. Of what compwexion? -MOTH. Of aww the fouw, ow the thwee, ow the two, ow onye of the -fouw. -AWMADO. Teww m-me p-pwecisewy of what compwexion. -MOTH. O-Of the sea-watew uWu gween, siw. -AWMADO. uWu Is that onye of the fouw compwexions? -MOTH. ^w^ As I have wead, siw; and the best of them too. -A-AWMADO. Gween, *moans* indeed, is *sighs* the :33 cowouw o-of wovews; but to have a :3 wove -of *sweats* that cowouw, methinks Samson had smaww weason fow >_> it. H-He -suwewy affected hew fow hew wit. -MOTH. It was UwU so, siw; fow she had *sighs* a gween wit. -AWMADO. My wove ;;w;; is most immacuwate white and wed. -MOTH. Most macuwate thoughts, mastew, awe mask'd undew such -cowouws. -A-AWMADO. D-Definye, definye, weww-educated infant. -MOTH. My f-fathew's wit m-my >_< mothew's tongue assist me! -A-AWMADO. Sweet invocation of a chiwd; m-most pwetty, and p-patheticaw! -MOTH. *looks away* If *cries* she be made of white and wed, -Hew fauwts w-wiww nye'ew be knyown; -^w^ Fow bwushing cheeks by fauwts a-awe *twerks* bwed, -And feaws by pawe white shown. -Then if she feaw, ow be to bwame, -By this you shaww *cries* nyot knyow; -Fow stiww hew cheeks p-possess the s-same -Which nyative ^-^ she doth owe. -A dangewous whyme, m-mastew, against the weason of white and wed. -AWMADO. Is thewe n-nyot a bawwad, boy, of the King and the Beggaw? -MOTH. The wowwd was vewy guiwty of such a bawwad some OwO thwee ages -since; but I think nyow 'tis nyot to b-be found; ow if i-it wewe, it -*screams* wouwd nyeithew sewve fow the w-wwiting nyow the tunye. -A-AWMADO. UwU I >_> wiww h-have that subject nyewwy wwit >w< o'ew, *notices bulge* that I may -exampwe m-my digwession :33 by some UwU mighty pwecedent. Boy, I do wove -that countwy *blushes* giww that I t-took in the pawk UwU with the wationyaw hind -Costawd; *screams* she desewves weww. -*notices bulge* MOTH. [-[Aside] T-To be whipt; and y-yet a bettew wove *moans* than my mastew. -AWMADO. Sing, boy; my spiwit gwows heavy in wove. -MOTH. And that's *looks at you* gweat mawvew, woving *looks at you* a wight wench. -A-AWMADO. I >_> say, *looks away* sing. -MOTH. Fowbeaw tiww ^.^ this company be past. - -Entew DUWW, COSTAWD, a-and JAQUENyETTA - -D-DUWW. *moans* Siw, t-the Duke's pweasuwe is that you xDD keep Costawd safe; and -y-you must suffew him to take OwO nyo dewight n-nyow nyo penyance; but 'a -must f-fast thwee days a-a week. F-Fow this d-damsew, I-I must keep hew at -the pawk; *teleports behind you* she is a-awwow'd fow t-the d-day-woman. Fawe you weww. -AWMADO. I do betway mysewf with bwushing. M-Maid! -JAQUENyETTA. M-Man! -AWMADO. I wiww visit thee at the wodge. -JAQUENyETTA. UwU That's heweby. -AWMADO. I knyow whewe i-it i-is situate. -JAQUENyETTA. Wowd, how wise you awe! ->_> AWMADO. *looks at you* I wiww teww thee >_> wondews. -JAQUENyETTA. With that face? -AWMADO. >_> I wove thee. -JAQUENyETTA. So I heawd you say. -A-AWMADO. And so, faweweww. -JAQUENyETTA. Faiw weathew aftew you! -DUWW. C-Come, Jaquenyetta, away. Exit with JAQUENyETTA -AWMADO. Viwwain, *notices bulge* thou shawt fast fow thy offences ewe *cries* thou be -pawdonyed. -COSTAWD. W-Weww, siw, I hope *teleports behind you* when I-I do *shuffles closer* it I-I s-shaww do it on a fuww -stomach. -AWMADO. Thou shawt be h-heaviwy punyished. -COSTAWD. I a-am mowe b-bound to you than youw f-fewwows, fow t-they awe b-but -*hugs tightly* wightwy wewawded. -AWMADO. Take a-away this viwwain; shut h-him up. -MOTH. Come, you twansgwessing swave, away. -*sighs* COSTAWD. Wet me nyot be pent up, ^.^ siw; I wiww fast, being woose. -MOTH. N-Nyo, s-siw; that wewe fast, a-and woose. Thou shawt to >_< pwison. -COSTAWD. Weww, if evew I do *cries* see *twerks* the ;;w;; mewwy days of desowation x3 that *shuffles closer* I -uWu have seen, some shaww see. -MOTH. UwU What shaww some see? -COSTAWD. Nyay, nyothing, M-Mastew Moth, but w-what they wook u-upon. It is -*notices bulge* nyot *twerks* fow pwisonyews to be too >_> siwent in theiw wowds, a-and *teleports behind you* thewefowe -I wiww say nyothing. I thank *sighs* God I have as wittwe patience as -xDD anyothew man, and t-thewefowe UwU I can be q-quiet. -*screams* Exeunt MOTH and COSTAWD -*blushes* AWMADO. OwO I *blushes* do affect the *sweats* vewy gwound, which is ;;w;; base, whewe hew shoe, -which is *looks at you* basew, guided b-by *notices bulge* hew foot, which is b-basest, d-doth twead. -I shaww be fowswown- w-which is *teleports behind you* a gweat awgument of fawsehood- if I -wove. And how can that b-be twue w-wove which is fawsewy attempted? -*notices bulge* Wove is a famiwiaw; x3 Wove is a deviw. Thewe is nyo eviw angew *blushes* but -W-Wove. >_< Yet was Samson s-so tempted, and he had an excewwent -stwength; ^w^ yet was Sowomon so seduced, and he had *shuffles closer* a vewy good xDD wit. -Cupid's ^-^ butt-shaft is too hawd f-fow >w< Hewcuwes' :3 cwub, and thewefowe -t-too much odds fow a-a Spanyiawd's w-wapiew. The fiwst and *pokes you* second cause -wiww nyot sewve my tuwn; *moans* the *looks away* passado he *moans* wespects nyot, the *leans over* duewwo -he wegawds *shuffles closer* nyot; >w< his disgwace is *looks at you* to be cawwed boy, uWu but his gwowy -is to subdue men. Adieu, vawouw; wust, wapiew; be stiww, dwum; -fow youw manyagew *sighs* is *sighs* in wove; yea, he woveth. *blushes* Assist ^-^ me, some -extempowaw god of whyme, fow I *giggles shyly* am suwe I shaww tuwn sonnyet. -Devise, wit; wwite, *blushes* pen; fow OwO I *cuddles you* am fow whowe vowumes in fowio. -Exit - - - - -<w< USED -*looks away* COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT OwO CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE II. -The pawk - -Entew *hugs tightly* the *notices bulge* PWINCESS OF FWANCE, with thwee attending ^w^ wadies, -WOSAWINyE, M-MAWIA, KATHAWINyE, BOYET, a-and two *shuffles closer* othew WOWDS - -BOYET. Nyow, m-madam, summon up youw *looks at you* deawest spiwits. -Considew who the King y-youw fathew sends, -To whom he sends, and what's his :33 embassy: -*shuffles closer* Youwsewf, hewd pwecious i-in the wowwd's esteem, -To pawwey UwU with ^w^ the sowe *sighs* inhewitow -Of aww p-pewfections that :33 a man *cuddles you* may owe, -M-Matchwess Nyavawwe; the ^w^ pwea of nyo wess weight -Than Aquitainye, a dowwy fow a queen. -Be n-nyow as pwodigaw xDD of aww deaw gwace -A-As Nyatuwe was i-in making g-gwaces deaw, -When ;;w;; she did stawve the genyewaw wowwd beside -And pwodigawwy gave them aww to you. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Good *leans over* Wowd Boyet, *looks at you* my beauty, though but mean, -N-Nyeeds n-nyot the *blushes* painted fwouwish of youw pwaise. -Beauty i-is bought by judgment of the eye, -N-Nyot utt'wed *shuffles closer* by base sawe of >_< chapmen's tongues; -I am wess pwoud to heaw you teww my w-wowth -Than you much UwU wiwwing to be counted wise -In spending youw wit *looks away* in the pwaise of *looks away* minye. -But *moans* nyow to task the taskew: good Boyet, -Y-You *moans* awe nyot ignyowant a-aww-tewwing f-fame -Doth nyoise abwoad Nyavawwe h-hath made a-a v-vow, -Tiww painfuw study :33 shaww outweaw *blushes* thwee yeaws, -Nyo >_> woman may a-appwoach his s-siwent couwt. -Thewefowe *teleports behind you* to's seemeth it a nyeedfuw c-couwse, -Befowe we entew his fowbidden gates, -To knyow his pweasuwe; and i-in that b-behawf, -Bowd of youw *giggles shyly* wowthinyess, we s-singwe you -*sighs* As ^w^ ouw best-moving faiw sowicitow. -Teww *moans* him the d-daughtew of the King of Fwance, -On s-sewious xDD businyess, cwaving ^.^ quick ^w^ dispatch, -Impowtunyes pewsonyaw confewence *teleports behind you* with *giggles shyly* his G-Gwace. -Haste, s-signyify so much; whiwe we attend, -W-Wike h-humbwe-visag'd suitows, his high wiww. -BOYET. Pwoud of empwoyment, *notices bulge* wiwwingwy I go. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Aww pwide is w-wiwwing >_< pwide, a-and youws i-is so. ->w< Exit BOYET -Who awe the v-votawies, my woving wowds, -T-That awe *teleports behind you* vow-fewwows with this viwtuous duke? -FIWST WOWD. Wowd Wongaviwwe i-is onye. -PWINCESS OF uWu FWANCE. Knyow you the man? -MAWIA. I knyow him, madam; at a mawwiage feast, -Between *shuffles closer* Wowd Pewigowt and t-the *cries* beauteous >_< heiw -O-Of Jaques Fawconbwidge, sowemnyized -*pokes you* In N-Nyowmandy, *teleports behind you* saw I this Wongaviwwe. -A man of s-soveweign pawts, peewwess esteem'd, -Weww fitted in awts, gwowious in awms; -Nyothing b-becomes him iww that he w-wouwd weww. -The o-onwy soiw of his *leans over* faiw viwtue's gwoss, -If viwtue's gwoss wiww stain with any soiw, -Is UwU a shawp wit match'd w-with too bwunt a wiww, -Whose edge hath powew to cut, whose wiww stiww wiwws -It shouwd *twerks* nyonye s-spawe that c-come w-within his powew. -PWINCESS OF *looks away* FWANCE. Some mewwy mocking wowd, bewike; *hugs tightly* is't so? -MAWIA. They say so most that most his humouws knyow. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Such showt-wiv'd wits do withew *moans* as they gwow. -Who a-awe the west? ->_< KATHAWINyE. The young Dumain, a weww-accompwish'd youth, -Of aww t-that v-viwtue wove :33 fow viwtue w-woved; -Most xDD powew t-to do most *sighs* hawm, weast knyowing iww, -Fow *giggles shyly* he h-hath wit to *twerks* make an iww shape good, -And s-shape to win *blushes* gwace though he had nyo wit. -I saw him at ^.^ the Duke Awencon's once; -And m-much too wittwe of that good I saw -Is my wepowt to his gweat w-wowthinyess. -WOSAWINyE. Anyothew of these students at that time -*pokes you* Was *sweats* thewe w-with him, if I h-have heawd a twuth. -:33 Bewownye they c-caww *sighs* him; but a mewwiew man, -uWu Within the w-wimit of b-becoming miwth, -I-I nyevew spent an houw's t-tawk withaw. -His eye begets occasion f-fow his *hugs tightly* wit, -Fow evewy object *blushes* that the o-onye doth catch -The othew tuwns to a *teleports behind you* miwth-moving jest, -Which his faiw tongue, conceit's e-expositow, -Dewivews in such apt and gwacious *sighs* wowds -That aged eaws pway twuant at his tawes, -And *sweats* youngew heawings awe quite wavished; -So sweet and vowubwe is his discouwse. -P-PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. God bwess my wadies! Awe they aww in wove, -That evewy o-onye hew own hath gawnyished -*pokes you* With such *sweats* bedecking ownyaments of pwaise? -FIWST WOWD. Hewe *screams* comes Boyet. - -We-entew BOYET - -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Nyow, what admittance, wowd? -BOYET. Nyavawwe had nyotice *cuddles you* of youw faiw *teleports behind you* appwoach, -*cuddles you* And he and his competitows in >w< oath -Wewe aww addwess'd to meet you, gentwe wady, -Befowe I came. Mawwy, t-thus much I have weawnt: -^.^ He wathew means to wodge you in *cuddles you* the fiewd, -Wike onye that comes hewe to besiege his couwt, -Than s-seek a *looks away* dispensation fow h-his oath, -To wet you entew his unpeopwed *giggles shyly* house. -[The WADIES-IN-WAITING mask] - -*twerks* Entew KING, WONGAVIWWE, DUMAIN, BEWOWNyE, -:3 and A-ATTENDANTS - -Hewe *cries* comes Nyavawwe. -:3 KING. Faiw P-Pwincess, wewcome to the *looks at you* couwt *pokes you* of Nyavawwe. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. *shuffles closer* 'Faiw' I give you back a-again; and 'wewcome' *blushes* I -have n-nyot yet. *notices bulge* The woof *cries* of this c-couwt is too high to be youws, and -wewcome to the wide *cuddles you* fiewds too base to be minye. -KING. You shaww be wewcome, *screams* madam, to my couwt. -PWINCESS *notices bulge* OF FWANCE. I wiww >w< be wewcome then; conduct me thithew. -KING. Heaw me, deaw wady: I have swown an oath- -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Ouw W-Wady hewp my wowd! He'ww be fowswown. -KING. Nyot fow the wowwd, faiw madam, by my w-wiww. -PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. Why, wiww shaww bweak it; wiww, and nyothing -ewse. -KING. Youw wadyship is ignyowant what i-it is. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Wewe my ^w^ wowd s-so, his ignyowance wewe wise, -Whewe n-nyow his knyowwedge must pwove ignyowance. -I h-heaw youw Gwace hath swown out house-keeping. -'Tis deadwy sin to uWu keep that oath, m-my wowd, -And sin *pokes you* to bweak it. -But *twerks* pawdon :33 me, I UwU am too sudden *blushes* bowd; -To teach a teachew iww beseemeth *pokes you* me. -Vouchsafe to wead t-the puwpose of my coming, -And suddenwy wesowve me *teleports behind you* in x3 my suit. [Giving a p-papew] -KING. Madam, I wiww, if s-suddenwy I may. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. YOU Wiww t-the s-soonyew that I *screams* wewe away, -*hugs tightly* Fow you'ww p-pwove pewjuw'd if you make me stay. -BEWOWNyE. Did nyot I dance with you in Bwabant once? -KATHAWINyE. *looks at you* Did nyot I dance xDD with you in ^w^ Bwabant once? -BEWOWNyE. I knyow you did. -KATHAWINyE. H-How nyeedwess was it then to ask the question! -BEWOWNyE. You must nyot be so quick. -KATHAWINyE. 'Tis wong of you, that spuw me with such q-questions. -BEWOWNyE. Youw wit '-'s too hot, it ^w^ speeds t-too fast, 'twiww tiwe. -KATHAWINyE. Nyot tiww it w-weave the widew in t-the miwe. -BEWOWNyE. What time o' day? -KATHAWINyE. T-The houw that ^-^ foows shouwd >w< ask. -BEWOWNyE. Nyow faiw befaww y-youw mask! -KATHAWINyE. F-Faiw faww *cuddles you* the *teleports behind you* face it covews! -BEWOWNyE. And send you many wovews! -KATHAWINyE. Amen, so you >w< be nyonye. -BEWOWNyE. *cuddles you* Nyay, then wiww *notices bulge* I b-be gonye. -KING. Madam, youw fathew uWu hewe doth intimate -*notices bulge* The payment of a hundwed thousand cwowns; -Being b-but the onye hawf of an entiwe s-sum -D-Disbuwsed ^.^ by my fathew in his waws. -But say that he ow >w< we, as nyeithew have, -W-Weceiv'd that sum, yet thewe *twerks* wemains unpaid -A hundwed t-thousand mowe, in suwety of the which, -Onye pawt of Aquitainye is bound to *shuffles closer* us, -Awthough nyot vawued to ^.^ the monyey's *blushes* wowth. -I-If t-then the King youw fathew wiww westowe -But t-that onye hawf w-which is unsatisfied, -We wiww give up ouw wight in Aquitainye, -*hugs tightly* And h-howd faiw fwiendship w-with his ^-^ Majesty. -But t-that, *looks away* it seems, he wittwe puwposeth, -F-Fow hewe *shuffles closer* he ;;w;; doth demand t-to have w-wepaid -A hundwed thousand c-cwowns; >w< and n-nyot demands, -*pokes you* On payment of a hundwed thousand cwowns, -To have his titwe wive in A-Aquitainye; -Which we ^.^ much wathew had depawt withaw, -And h-have the monyey by ouw fathew went, -Than Aquitainye s-so gewded as it is. -D-Deaw Pwincess, wewe n-nyot his w-wequests s-so faw -Fwom weason's yiewding, youw *hugs tightly* faiw sewf shouwd make -A yiewding 'gainst some xDD weason in my bweast, -And go weww s-satisfied to x3 Fwance again. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. You do t-the ^w^ King my fathew too much w-wwong, -And wwong the weputation of youw nyame, -In so unseeming to confess weceipt -Of that which hath so faithfuwwy been paid. -K-KING. I do pwotest I nyevew heawd *cries* of it; -^.^ And, if you pwove i-it, I'ww *moans* wepay it back -Ow *moans* yiewd up Aquitainye. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. We a-awwest youw *leans over* wowd. -Boyet, you can pwoduce x3 acquittances -F-Fow such a sum fwom speciaw o-officews -Of Chawwes his fathew. -KING. Satisfy me so. -OwO BOYET. xDD So pwease youw Gwace, the packet ^-^ is nyot come, -Whewe that and *giggles shyly* othew speciawties awe *hugs tightly* bound; -To-mowwow you shaww have *teleports behind you* a sight of them. -KING. It shaww s-suffice me; at which intewview -Aww wibewaw ^.^ weason I wiww yiewd u-unto. -M-Meantime weceive such w-wewcome at my hand -As honyouw, without bweach of honyouw, may -Make tendew of to thy twue ;;w;; wowthinyess. -Y-You m-may nyot come, faiw Pwincess, within my gates; -But *cuddles you* hewe without you shaww *notices bulge* be so weceiv'd -As ^-^ you shaww deem youwsewf w-wodg'd in my heawt, -Though so denyied *leans over* faiw *twerks* hawbouw in my house. -Youw own good *sweats* thoughts excuse me, and faweweww. -To-mowwow shaww w-we visit you UwU again. -PWINCESS O-OF *pokes you* FWANCE. Sweet :3 heawth and faiw desiwes consowt xDD youw -Gwace! -KING. Thy :33 own *twerks* wish wish I thee in evewy pwace. -Exit with attendants -BEWOWNyE. Wady, I wiww commend you to *looks away* minye own heawt. ->_< WOSAWINyE. Pway *pokes you* you, *looks away* do my commendations; -I wouwd be gwad t-to see it. -BEWOWNyE. I wouwd you heawd it gwoan. -WOSAWINyE. :3 Is the foow xDD sick? -BEWOWNyE. Sick at the heawt. -WOSAWINyE. Awack, wet it bwood. -BEWOWNyE. Wouwd that do it *cuddles you* good? ->_< WOSAWINyE. My physic says 'ay.' -BEWOWNyE. Wiww YOU pwick't w-with youw *pokes you* eye? -WOSAWINyE. N-Nyo point, with *sighs* my ^-^ knyife. -B-BEWOWNyE. Nyow, G-God save thy wife! -WOSAWINyE. And y-youws f-fwom w-wong wiving! -BEWOWNyE. I cannyot stay thanksgiving. [Wetiwing] -DUMAIN. *twerks* Siw, I ;;w;; pway you, a w-wowd: what w-wady i-is that same? -B-BOYET. The heiw of Awencon, Kathawinye hew nyame. -DUMAIN. A g-gawwant wady! Monsieuw, fawe you weww. Exit -WONGAVIWWE. I *teleports behind you* beseech you a w-wowd: what >_< is she i-in the white? -BOYET. A w-woman sometimes, an you saw *leans over* hew in the wight. -WONGAVIWWE. P-Pewchance wight i-in the wight. I desiwe hew nyame. -BOYET. She h-hath but onye fow hewsewf; t-to desiwe that w-wewe a shame. -WONGAVIWWE. >_> Pway you, siw, whose *looks away* daughtew? -BOYET. ^w^ Hew mothew's, I-I h-have heawd. -WONGAVIWWE. God's bwessing on youw beawd! -BOYET. Good siw, be nyot o-offended; -She is an heiw of Fawconbwidge. -WONGAVIWWE. Nyay, my c-chowew is ended. -She is a most *cuddles you* sweet wady. -BOYET. Nyot unwike, siw; OwO that may *shuffles closer* be. Exit WONGAVIWWE -BEWOWNyE. *sighs* What's hew nyame in the cap? -BOYET. *sighs* Wosawinye, by good *giggles shyly* hap. -B-BEWOWNyE. I-Is she wedded ow >_< nyo? -BOYET. *cuddles you* To h-hew wiww, siw, ow x3 so. -BEWOWNyE. You awe wewcome, s-siw; adieu! -BOYET. Faweweww to me, siw, and wewcome to you. -Exit BEWOWNyE. WADIES Unmask -MAWIA. T-That wast i-is Bewownye, t-the m-mewwy mad-cap wowd; -Nyot a wowd x3 with h-him but a jest. -BOYET. A-And evewy j-jest b-but a wowd. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. It was w-weww donye of you to take him at his -wowd. -BOYET. I was as wiwwing to *cuddles you* gwappwe as *giggles shyly* he *sweats* was to boawd. -KATHAWINyE. Two hot sheeps, mawwy! -BOYET. And whewefowe nyot ships? -Nyo ;;w;; sheep, sweet >_< wamb, unwess we feed *notices bulge* on y-youw wips. -KATHAWINyE. You sheep and I pastuwe- shaww that f-finyish the jest? -*sighs* BOYET. S-So you gwant *hugs tightly* pastuwe fow m-me. [-[Offewing to kiss hew] -KATHAWINyE. Nyot so, gentwe *screams* beast; -My wips a-awe nyo common, though sevewaw they be. -BOYET. Bewonging to whom? -KATHAWINyE. To my fowtunyes and me. -PWINCESS OF F-FWANCE. Good wits wiww be *moans* jangwing; *twerks* but, g-gentwes, -agwee; -This civiw *hugs tightly* waw of *screams* wits wewe much bettew used -O-On Nyavawwe and his *notices bulge* book-men, fow hewe 'tis abused. -BOYET. If my obsewvation, which vewy *giggles shyly* sewdom *pokes you* wies, -By the heawt's s-stiww whetowic *blushes* discwosed w-with *teleports behind you* eyes, -Deceive me n-nyot nyow, Nyavawwe is infected. -PWINCESS OF F-FWANCE. With what? -BOYET. With that ^.^ which we wovews entitwe 'affected.' -PWINCESS OF F-FWANCE. Youw weason? -BOYET. Why, *sweats* aww his behaviouws did make :3 theiw wetiwe -To the couwt of h-his eye, peeping thowough desiwe. -His heawt, *looks at you* wike an *looks at you* agate, w-with youw pwint i-impwessed, -Pwoud with h-his fowm, in OwO his >w< eye pwide UwU expwessed; -His tongue, aww impatient t-to speak and nyot see, -Did s-stumbwe *blushes* with haste in his eyesight *blushes* to be; -Aww senses to t-that sense did make theiw wepaiw, -To feew onwy wooking on f-faiwest *teleports behind you* of faiw. -Methought aww his senses wewe wock'd in his eye, -As jewews *sweats* in cwystaw fow some pwince to buy; -Who, tend'wing theiw own wowth fwom whewe they wewe gwass'd, -*cuddles you* Did point y-you to buy them, awong as y-you *screams* pass'd. -His face's own m-mawgent did quote s-such amazes -That aww eyes saw his eyes *hugs tightly* enchanted with gazes. -I-I'ww g-give xDD you A-Aquitainye a-and aww uWu that i-is his, -A-An you give him *sighs* fow my sake but onye woving kiss. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Come, to ouw *pokes you* paviwion. B-Boyet is d-dispos'd. -B-BOYET. But to speak that in wowds which his eye h-hath discwos'd; -I-I onwy have made a mouth of his eye, -By adding a tongue which I knyow x3 wiww nyot wie. -M-MAWIA. Thou awt an owd wove-mongew, and speakest skiwfuwwy. -KATHAWINyE. He is Cupid's g-gwandfathew, and weawns nyews of him. -W-WOSAWINyE. Then was Venyus wike hew mothew; fow hew *teleports behind you* fathew is but -gwim. -BOYET. x3 Do you heaw, my mad wenches? -OwO MAWIA. Nyo. -BOYET. What, *giggles shyly* then; do y-you x3 see? -MAWIA. *looks at you* Ay, ouw way to x3 be gonye. -x3 BOYET. You *teleports behind you* awe too hawd *cuddles you* fow me. *hugs tightly* Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. SCENyE I. -The pawk - -Entew AWMADO and MOTH - -AWMADO. Wawbwe, *leans over* chiwd; make passionyate *giggles shyly* my sense o-of heawing. -[MOTH sings Concowinyew] -AWMADO. Sweet aiw! Go, tendewnyess of yeaws, take this key, give -enwawgement to the s-swain, bwing him festinyatewy *moans* hithew; I must -empwoy *leans over* him i-in a wettew to my wove. -MOTH. Mastew, wiww you ^w^ win youw wove w-with ^-^ a Fwench bwaww? -A-AWMADO. *twerks* How *hugs tightly* meanyest *leans over* thou? Bwawwing in Fwench? -MOTH. *cuddles you* Nyo, my compwete mastew; *screams* but to jig off >_< a *sweats* tunye at the tongue's -end, canyawy to it with youw feet, humouw *twerks* it w-with tuwnying up youw -e-eyewids, sigh a nyote and s-sing a-a n-nyote, sometime thwough the -*leans over* thwoat, as if you swawwowed *sweats* wove with singing wove, sometime -thwough the nyose, as if you s-snyuff'd up wove x3 by smewwing wove, -with youw h-hat penthouse-wike o'ew the shop of youw eyes, with -youw *shuffles closer* awms cwoss'd on youw thin-bewwy doubwet, wike a wabbit on a -*screams* spit, o-ow y-youw hands in youw ^-^ pocket, wike a man aftew the o-owd -painting; and keep nyot t-too wong in >w< onye tunye, but *twerks* a snyip and away. -OwO These *teleports behind you* awe compwements, OwO these awe *cuddles you* humouws; these betway nyice -wenches, *notices bulge* that w-wouwd be b-betwayed ^.^ without these; and x3 make them men -*screams* of nyote- do you nyote m-me?- t-that most awe a-affected to t-these. -AWMADO. H-How hast thou puwchased OwO this e-expewience? -*looks at you* MOTH. By my p-penny of obsewvation. -*screams* AWMADO. But O- but O- -MOTH. The hobby-howse i-is fowgot. -AWMADO. Caww'st thou my w-wove 'hobby-howse'? -MOTH. Nyo, mastew; the hobby-howse i-is but a cowt, *shuffles closer* and youw *screams* wove -pewhaps a hacknyey. B-But >_< have you f-fowgot youw wove? -AWMADO. Awmost I had. -MOTH. Nyegwigent student! weawn hew by heawt. -AWMADO. By h-heawt a-and *sweats* in heawt, boy. -MOTH. And out of heawt, mastew; aww those thwee I wiww pwove. -AWMADO. What wiwt thou pwove? -*hugs tightly* MOTH. A man, if I *notices bulge* wive; and this, by, in, and without, upon the -instant. By heawt y-you wove h-hew, :3 because youw heawt cannyot c-come b-by -hew; i-in heawt you wove hew, because youw heawt is in *pokes you* wove with -h-hew; and out of heawt you w-wove hew, being out of heawt that you -cannyot enjoy hew. -A-AWMADO. I a-am aww t-these thwee. -MOTH. And thwee times as *looks away* much mowe, and yet nyothing at *blushes* aww. -AWMADO. Fetch hithew the swain; he must cawwy me ;;w;; a wettew. -M-MOTH. A :3 message w-weww *moans* sympathiz'd- a howse to be ambassadow f-fow an -ass. -AWMADO. Ha, ha, xDD what sayest t-thou? -MOTH. Mawwy, s-siw, you must send the a-ass upon the howse, fow he i-is -vewy s-swow-gaited. But >w< I go. -AWMADO. The way ^-^ is but showt; away. -MOTH. *sighs* As swift as *moans* wead, siw. -AWMADO. The meanying, pwetty ingenyious? -Is nyot wead a metaw *blushes* heavy, duww, and swow? -MOTH. Minyime, honyest mastew; ow w-wathew, mastew, nyo. -AWMADO. I *blushes* say wead is swow. -M-MOTH. You *blushes* awe *looks at you* too swift, siw, to say s-so: -Is that wead swow which is fiw'd f-fwom a gun? -AWMADO. Sweet smoke of whetowic! -He weputes me a-a *twerks* cannyon; and the buwwet, that's *moans* he; -I shoot thee ;;w;; at t-the *screams* swain. -MOTH. UwU Thump, then, and I fwee. Exit -AWMADO. A most acute juvenyaw; vowabwe and f-fwee of gwace! -By t-thy favouw, sweet wewkin, I must sigh i-in thy face; -Most wude *notices bulge* mewanchowy, vawouw gives thee pwace. -My *cries* hewawd is wetuwn'd. - -We-entew MOTH with C-COSTAWD - -MOTH. *sweats* A *leans over* wondew, mastew! hewe's a costawd bwoken in a shin. -AWMADO. *blushes* Some *pokes you* enyigma, some widdwe; come, *looks at you* thy w'envoy; begin. -COSTAWD. *teleports behind you* Nyo egma, nyo widdwe, nyo w'envoy; nyo s-sawve in the maiw, siw. -O, OwO siw, pwantain, a pwain pwantain; nyo w'envoy, nyo w'envoy; nyo -sawve, siw, but a pwantain! -*twerks* AWMADO. By v-viwtue thou enfowcest *leans over* waughtew; thy siwwy thought, my -spween; *notices bulge* the heaving of my wungs pwovokes OwO me to >_> widicuwous -smiwing. O-O, pawdon me, my staws! D-Doth the inconsidewate take -sawve ^.^ fow ^.^ w'envoy, and the wowd 'w'envoy' fow a sawve? -MOTH. xDD Do the w-wise *sweats* think them othew? Is nyot w'envoy a-a sawve? -AWMADO. Nyo, page; it is an epiwogue ow discouwse to make ;;w;; pwain -Some obscuwe pwecedence t-that hath tofowe been sain. -I wiww exampwe it: -The fox, the ape, OwO and :3 the *screams* humbwe-bee, -Wewe s-stiww at odds, being but thwee. -Thewe's the mowaw. Nyow the w'envoy. -M-MOTH. I :33 wiww *notices bulge* add the w'envoy. Say the mowaw ^w^ again. -AWMADO. The fox, :3 the ape, a-and the *pokes you* humbwe-bee, -Wewe stiww at *blushes* odds, being but thwee. -MOTH. Untiw *leans over* the goose came out o-of *sweats* doow, -And stay'd the odds by *shuffles closer* adding fouw. -Nyow wiww I begin youw *looks at you* mowaw, and ^.^ do you fowwow >w< with my w'envoy. -The fox, the ape, and the humbwe-bee, -W-Wewe stiww at odds, being but t-thwee. -AWMADO. Untiw the *hugs tightly* goose c-came out of *leans over* doow, -Staying the odds by adding fouw. -MOTH. A good w'envoy, uWu ending i-in t-the goose; ^-^ wouwd you desiwe m-mowe? -COSTAWD. The b-boy hath sowd him a bawgain, a goose, that's fwat. -Siw, youw pennywowth is UwU good, an youw goose be f-fat. -To seww a bawgain *shuffles closer* weww is a-as c-cunnying as fast and woose; -Wet me see: a fat w'envoy; ay, that's a fat g-goose. -A-AWMADO. Come hithew, *giggles shyly* come hithew. How did *blushes* this *sighs* awgument begin? -MOTH. By saying t-that a c-costawd was bwoken in a shin. -*pokes you* Then caww'd you fow the w'envoy. -COSTAWD. Twue, and I fow a pwantain. *sweats* Thus came youw awgument in; -Then the boy's fat w'envoy, t-the goose that you bought; -A-And he ended the mawket. -AWMADO. But teww me: how was thewe a costawd bwoken in a shin? -M-MOTH. I wiww teww y-you sensibwy. -C-COSTAWD. Thou hast nyo feewing of it, Moth; I wiww speak that -w-w'envoy. -I, Costawd, wunnying out, that was safewy within, -Feww ovew >_< the thweshowd and bwoke my shin. -AWMADO. UwU We *notices bulge* wiww tawk nyo mowe of this >_< mattew. -COSTAWD. Tiww thewe be mowe mattew in the shin. -AWMADO. *cries* Siwwah Costawd. I wiww enfwanchise thee. -*notices bulge* COSTAWD. O, Mawwy *shuffles closer* me to onye Fwances! I smeww some w'envoy, some -goose, in this. -AWMADO. By my sweet souw, I m-mean setting thee at wibewty, -enfweedoming >_> thy pewson; thou wewt immuwed, westwainyed, -captivated, bound. -COSTAWD. Twue, twue; a-and n-nyow you wiww be my puwgation, and wet me -woose. -AWMADO. ^-^ I give thee thy wibewty, set thee fwom duwance; and, in -wieu *looks away* theweof, impose on *cries* thee nyothing but this: beaw this -signyificant [giving a ^-^ wettew] to the countwy maid Jaquenyetta; -thewe is wemunyewation, fow the best wawd of m-minye honyouw *sighs* is -wewawding my *cries* dependents. M-Moth, fowwow. Exit -MOTH. Wike the sequew, I. Signyiow Costawd, adieu. -C-COSTAWD. *moans* My xDD sweet ounce of man's fwesh, my incony Jew! -Exit MOTH -Nyow *cries* wiww *twerks* I *teleports behind you* wook t-to his wemunyewation. Wemunyewation! O, that's the -Watin wowd fow thwee fawthings. Thwee f-fawthings- wemunyewation. -'What's *sweats* the :33 pwice of >_< this inkwe?'- 'Onye penny.'- 'Nyo, I'ww :3 give -you a wemunyewation.' Why, it UwU cawwies it. Wemunyewation! Why, i-it i-is -a faiwew nyame than Fwench *cries* cwown. *giggles shyly* I wiww nyevew >_> buy and *cuddles you* seww UwU out of -this wowd. - -Entew B-BEWOWNyE - -BEWOWNyE. My good knyave Costawd, exceedingwy weww met! -COSTAWD. P-Pway y-you, siw, how much *hugs tightly* cawnyation wibbon may a man buy fow -a *cuddles you* wemunyewation? -BEWOWNyE. What is a wemunyewation? ->_> COSTAWD. Mawwy, siw, hawfpenny fawthing. -BEWOWNyE. Why, then, thwee-fawthing wowth o-of siwk. -C-COSTAWD. I thank youw wowship. God *notices bulge* be wi' you! -BEWOWNyE. Stay, swave; I must *teleports behind you* empwoy thee. -As thou wiwt ^-^ win my f-favouw, good my knyave, -Do onye thing fow me that I s-shaww entweat. -OwO COSTAWD. When wouwd you h-have it donye, siw? -B-BEWOWNyE. This aftewnyoon. -^.^ COSTAWD. Weww, I wiww do it, siw; *sighs* fawe you weww. -BEWOWNyE. uWu Thou knyowest nyot w-what it is. -COSTAWD. I shaww *looks away* knyow, siw, when I have donye it. -*looks at you* BEWOWNyE. Why, viwwain, thou must knyow fiwst. -COSTAWD. I wiww come t-to youw wowship t-to-mowwow mownying. -BEWOWNyE. It must be donye this aftewnyoon. ->_< Hawk, swave, it is but this: -T-The P-Pwincess comes to hunt hewe in the pawk, -And in hew twain t-thewe is a gentwe wady; -When tongues speak sweetwy, then they nyame hew n-nyame, -And Wosawinye they caww hew. Ask x3 fow hew, -And to hew w-white hand see thou do commend -This ;;w;; seaw'd-up xDD counsew. Thewe's thy guewdon; go. -[Giving him >w< a shiwwing] -*hugs tightly* COSTAWD. Gawdon, O sweet gawdon! bettew than wemunyewation; *cries* a -'weven-pence fawthing bettew; most sweet *looks at you* gawdon! I wiww do i-it, -*sighs* siw, in pwint. Gawdon- wemunyewation! Exit -BEWOWNyE. And I, fowsooth, in wove; I, that have b-been wove's whip; -A v-vewy beadwe t-to a humowous s-sigh; -*looks at you* A cwitic, nyay, a nyight-watch constabwe; -A dominyeewing pedant ^.^ o'ew the boy, -Than *looks at you* whom nyo mowtaw so *moans* magnyificent! -This w-wimpwed, whinying, puwbwind, w-waywawd boy, -This senyiow-junyiow, giant-dwawf, Dan Cupid; -Wegent of >_< wove-whymes, wowd of fowded awms, -Th' anyointed s-soveweign of sighs a-and >_> gwoans, -*leans over* Wiege xDD of aww woitewews and *pokes you* mawcontents, -Dwead p-pwince of pwackets, king of codpieces, -Sowe ^w^ impewatow, and gweat genyewaw -O-Of twotting pawitows. O my wittwe heawt! -And I-I to be a cowpowaw of his fiewd, -And weaw his cowouws wike a tumbwew's h-hoop! -What! *hugs tightly* I *notices bulge* wove, I sue, I-I seek *screams* a ;;w;; wife- -A woman, that i-is wike a-a Gewman c-cwock, -Stiww a-wepaiwing, e-evew out *screams* of fwame, -And nyevew going :33 awight, b-being a w-watch, -But uWu being watch'd that it m-may s-stiww go w-wight! -Nyay, to be pewjuw'd, w-which i-is wowst o-of aww; -A-And, a-among thwee, to wove the wowst of aww, -A *sweats* whitewy wanton with a vewvet bwow, -With :3 two pitch bawws >w< stuck in hew face f-fow eyes; -A-Ay, and, by heaven, o-onye that wiww do the *notices bulge* deed, -Though Awgus wewe hew eunyuch and hew g-guawd. -And *sighs* I to sigh fow hew! to watch fow hew! -T-To pway fow hew! Go to; it is a pwague -That Cupid wiww :33 impose fow *shuffles closer* my nyegwect ->_> Of his awmighty dweadfuw wittwe might. -Weww, I w-wiww wove, wwite, *hugs tightly* sigh, pway, sue, and gwoan: -Some ^w^ men *giggles shyly* must wove my *hugs tightly* wady, and some Joan. Exit - - - - -<-<w< OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE ^-^ COPIES *shuffles closer* MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED *cuddles you* SO >_< WONG AS SUCH *shuffles closer* COPIES *moans* (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -uWu PEWSONyAW *notices bulge* USE ONWY, ;;w;; AND *cuddles you* (2) AWE *hugs tightly* NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED *twerks* COMMEWCIAW *hugs tightly* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES UwU BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*cries* ACT IV. SCENyE I. -The pawk - -Entew *blushes* the *looks at you* PWINCESS, WOSAWINyE, M-MAWIA, KATHAWINyE, B-BOYET, WOWDS, ATTENDANTS, -and a FOWESTEW - -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Was that >_< the K-King *moans* that spuww'd his howse so -hawd -Against the s-steep *leans over* upwising of t-the hiww? -*screams* BOYET. I knyow nyot; but I think *cuddles you* it was OwO nyot he. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. W-Whoe'ew ^.^ 'a was, '-'a show'd a mounting mind. -W-Weww, wowds, *teleports behind you* to-day we shaww have ouw *notices bulge* dispatch; -On Satuwday we wiww wetuwn to Fwance. -T-Then, fowestew, *shuffles closer* my f-fwiend, whewe is the bush -That *screams* we must stand and pway the *screams* muwdewew in? -FOWESTEW. Heweby, upon the e-edge of yondew *screams* coppice; -A stand whewe y-you may make the faiwest OwO shoot. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. I *leans over* thank my beauty *screams* I am faiw that shoot, -A-And OwO theweupon thou speak'st the faiwest xDD shoot. -FOWESTEW. P-Pawdon m-me, madam, fow I meant nyot so. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. What, what? Fiwst pwaise m-me, and *shuffles closer* again *leans over* say n-nyo? -O showt-wiv'd pwide! N-Nyot faiw? Awack *sweats* fow woe! -FOWESTEW. Yes, madam, *cries* faiw. -P-PWINCESS O-OF F-FWANCE. Nyay, nyevew p-paint *looks away* me nyow; -Whewe faiw is nyot, *blushes* pwaise cannyot mend the bwow. -Hewe, good my *teleports behind you* gwass, take this fow tewwing twue: -[ G-Giving h-him m-monyey] -Faiw payment fow fouw wowds is *pokes you* mowe than due. -F-FOWESTEW. *twerks* Nyothing but faiw is that *teleports behind you* which >w< you inhewit. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. See, s-see, my beauty wiww be *pokes you* sav'd by mewit. -O hewesy in faiw, fit fow these days! -A giving *screams* hand, though fouw, shaww have faiw pwaise. -But come, the ^-^ bow. N-Nyow m-mewcy goes to kiww, -A-And :33 shooting weww is then accounted *shuffles closer* iww; -uWu Thus wiww I save my cwedit in the shoot: -Nyot wounding, pity wouwd nyot wet me d-do't; -If wounding, then i-it was to show my skiww, -That mowe f-fow pwaise than p-puwpose meant to kiww. -And, out of question, so it is sometimes: -Gwowy gwows guiwty of detested cwimes, -When, fow fame's sake, fow pwaise, an outwawd pawt, -We b-bend to t-that ^-^ the wowking >w< of UwU the heawt; -As *screams* I fow pwaise awonye nyow x3 seek to spiww -:3 The poow deew's *shuffles closer* bwood that my heawt means nyo iww. -BOYET. Do nyot cuwst wives howd that sewf-soveweignty -Onwy f-fow pwaise s-sake, w-when they stwive to *cuddles you* be -Wowds o-o'ew theiw wowds? -PWINCESS OF F-FWANCE. Onwy fow ;;w;; pwaise; a-and pwaise we may affowd -To any wady that subdues *moans* a w-wowd. - -Entew C-COSTAWD - -BOYET. *leans over* Hewe comes a membew of >w< the commonweawth. -uWu COSTAWD. God dig-you-den aww! Pway you, :3 which is the head wady? -PWINCESS *sighs* OF FWANCE. Thou shawt k-knyow hew, fewwow, by the *blushes* west that -*sighs* have nyo heads. -COSTAWD. Which UwU is the gweatest wady, the highest? -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. The thickest and t-the *hugs tightly* tawwest. -COSTAWD. The thickest UwU and *blushes* the tawwest! It is so; twuth *sighs* is twuth. -An youw *notices bulge* waist, mistwess, w-wewe as swendew as my wit, -Onye o' these maids' giwdwes fow youw waist shouwd be OwO fit. -Awe nyot you the chief woman? You awe ^-^ the thickest hewe. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. *screams* What's youw wiww, siw? W-What's youw wiww? -COSTAWD. I have a wettew *moans* fwom Monsieuw Bewownye to o-onye -W-Wady x3 Wosawinye. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. O, thy wettew, thy wettew! He's a *notices bulge* good fwiend -of minye. -Stand aside, g-good beawew. Boyet, y-you ^-^ can c-cawve. -Bweak up this capon. -B-BOYET. I am bound to sewve. -T-This wettew *sighs* is mistook; it *twerks* impowteth nyonye hewe. -It is wwit to Jaquenyetta. -*pokes you* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. ;;w;; We wiww wead *notices bulge* it, I sweaw. -B-Bweak the *looks at you* nyeck o-of the wax, a-and e-evewy UwU onye give eaw. -BOYET. [Weads] 'By *sweats* heaven, *looks away* that *giggles shyly* thou a-awt faiw is most infawwibwe; -t-twue that thou awt beauteous; twuth itsewf that thou awt wovewy. -Mowe f-faiwew than faiw, *pokes you* beautifuw than beauteous, t-twuew than twuth -itsewf, have commisewation on thy hewoicaw ^w^ vassaw. The -magnyanyimous and most iwwustwate king Cophetua set eye >w< upon the -pewnyicious and indubitate beggaw Zenyewophon; and *teleports behind you* he it was *leans over* that -might wightwy say, OwO 'Venyi, v-vidi, vici'; UwU which to annyothanyize in -the vuwgaw,- O b-base and :33 obscuwe vuwgaw!- videwicet, He c-came, saw, -a-and o-ovewcame. He came, onye; saw, two; ovewcame, thwee. Who came?- -the ^.^ king. Why did he c-come?- to *shuffles closer* see. *sweats* Why did he see?-to ovewcome. -^.^ To whom came he?- to the beggaw. What *looks away* saw h-he?- the b-beggaw. Who -ovewcame he?- the b-beggaw. The c-concwusion is victowy; on whose -side?- the king's. The captive is enwich'd; on OwO whose side?- ^-^ the -beggaw's. The catastwophe is a nyuptiaw; on *hugs tightly* whose side?- the -k-king's. Nyo, on both in onye, ow o-onye in both. *twerks* I am the king, fow so -stands the compawison; thou the beggaw, fow so witnyesseth *twerks* thy -wowwinyess. Shaww I command t-thy wove? I may. Shaww I enfowce thy ->_< wove? I *hugs tightly* couwd. *hugs tightly* Shaww I entweat thy wove? I wiww. *leans over* What s-shawt thou -exchange fow wags?- wobes, fow tittwes?- titwes, fow thysewf? --me. Thus expecting thy wepwy, I pwofanye my wips on thy foot, my -eyes o-on t-thy pictuwe, and my heawt on thy evewy pawt. -Thinye uWu in the deawest design of industwy, -DON ADWIANyO DE AWMADO. - -'Thus dost *giggles shyly* thou heaw t-the Nyemean w-wion woaw -'Gainst thee, thou wamb, that standest as h-his pwey; -Submissive faww his pwincewy feet befowe, -And he f-fwom fowage >_< wiww :33 incwinye to pway. -But if :33 thou stwive, poow souw, what a-awe thou >_> then? -Food fow his wage, wepastuwe *pokes you* fow his den.' -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. W-What pwume of feathews is he >_> that indited this -wettew? -What vanye? What weathewcock? Did you :3 evew heaw bettew? -BOYET. I am much deceived b-but I wemembew the s-stywe. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Ewse youw memowy is *moans* bad, going o'ew it -ewewhiwe. -;;w;; BOYET. This Awmado is a S-Spanyiawd, that *notices bulge* keeps hewe in couwt; -A phantasime, a Monyawcho, and xDD onye that makes *looks away* spowt -To the Pwince a-and his book-mates. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Thou fewwow, a wowd. -*giggles shyly* Who gave t-thee ^w^ this wettew? -COSTAWD. I towd you: *screams* my wowd. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. To w-whom shouwdst thou give it? -COSTAWD. Fwom OwO my wowd to my wady. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. *cuddles you* Fwom which wowd to which wady? -COSTAWD. Fwom my Wowd Bewownye, a good mastew o-of minye, -To a wady o-of Fwance *pokes you* that he c-caww'd *leans over* Wosawinye. -*giggles shyly* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Thou h-hast mistaken his wettew. Come, *blushes* wowds, -away. -[To WOSAWINyE] Hewe, sweet, put up this; 'twiww be thinye anyothew -xDD day. *leans over* Exeunt PWINCESS and TWAIN -^-^ BOYET. Who is the ^-^ shootew? who is the shootew? -W-WOSAWINyE. Shaww I teach y-you to knyow? -BOYET. Ay, ^.^ my continyent of b-beauty. -WOSAWINyE. Why, she that ;;w;; beaws the bow. -Finyewy put off! -BOYET. My wady goes *looks away* to kiww h-howns; but, if thou mawwy, -Hang *giggles shyly* me b-by >w< the nyeck, if howns that y-yeaw miscawwy. -Finyewy put *looks away* on! -WOSAWINyE. Weww then, I am the shootew. -BOYET. *teleports behind you* And *shuffles closer* who is youw deew? -WOSAWINyE. I-If *pokes you* we choose by t-the *cries* howns, youwsewf come nyot nyeaw. -Finyewy put ^-^ on indeed! -MAWIA. You Stiww wwangwe with hew, Boyet, ;;w;; and she stwikes *leans over* at the -bwow. -*blushes* BOYET. But she hewsewf is hit w-wowew. H-Have I-I hit *shuffles closer* hew nyow? -WOSAWINyE. Shaww I come upon thee with ^w^ an owd saying, that was *pokes you* a man -w-when King Pepin of Fwance was a w-wittwe boy, as touching the hit -x3 it? -BOYET. S-So I may a-answew *notices bulge* thee with onye as owd, *blushes* that *leans over* was a w-woman when -Queen Guinyevew of Bwitain *giggles shyly* was a wittwe wench, as touching t-the h-hit -it. -WOSAWINyE. [Singing] -Thou canst *shuffles closer* nyot hit it, hit *cries* it, hit it, -Thou canst *sweats* nyot hit *pokes you* it, my *blushes* good man. -BOYET. An I c-cannyot, cannyot, cannyot, -xDD An I cannyot, anyothew can. -Exeunt WOSAWINyE and KATHAWINyE -*blushes* COSTAWD. By m-my twoth, most pweasant! How both did fit it! -MAWIA. A mawk mawvewwous weww s-shot; fow they both did hit it. -BOYET. A-A mawk! O, mawk but that mawk! A mawk, says my wady! -Wet the mawk have a pwick in't, *pokes you* to mete at, i-if it may be. -MAWIA. Wide o' the bow-hand! I-I' faith, y-youw hand ;;w;; is out. -COSTAWD. *notices bulge* Indeed, *shuffles closer* 'a must shoot nyeawew, o-ow he'ww *blushes* nye'ew hit the -cwout. -B-BOYET. An if xDD my hand be out, *blushes* then b-bewike y-youw hand is >w< in. -COSTAWD. Then wiww she g-get the upshoot b-by cweaving the pin. -MAWIA. ^w^ Come, come, you t-tawk gweasiwy; *hugs tightly* youw wips gwow f-fouw. -COSTAWD. She's too hawd f-fow y-you at pwicks, siw; c-chawwenge h-hew *moans* to -boww. -B-BOYET. xDD I feaw too much wubbing; ;;w;; good-nyight, my good oww. -Exeunt BOYET and MAWIA -COSTAWD. By my souw, a *hugs tightly* swain, a-a most simpwe c-cwown! -Wowd, Wowd! h-how the wadies uWu and I have put him down! -O' my twoth, most sweet >_> jests, m-most incony v-vuwgaw wit! -When it comes so *looks away* smoothwy off, so obscenyewy, as it *leans over* wewe, so *teleports behind you* fit. -Awmado a th' t'onye side- *screams* O, *blushes* a *giggles shyly* most dainty m-man! -To UwU see him wawk befowe a wady and to beaw hew fan! -T-To see him kiss *sighs* his hand, and how m-most uWu sweetwy 'a w-wiww sweaw! -A-And his page a t' othew side, that handfuw of wit! -Ah, heavens, it *cuddles you* is a-a m-most p-patheticaw n-nyit! -Sowa, sowa! Exit COSTAWD - - - - -SCENyE II. -The pawk - -Fwom x3 the :33 shooting within, entew HOWOFEWNyES, SIW NyATHANyIEW, and DUWW - -N-NyATHANyIEW. Vewy wevewent spowt, twuwy; and d-donye in the testimony *teleports behind you* of -a g-good c-conscience. -HOWOFEWNyES. The deew was, *sweats* as you k-knyow, s-sanguis, in bwood; wipe as -the pomewatew, who nyow hangeth wike a jewew in the eaw of caewo, -t-the sky, the *notices bulge* wewkin, the heaven; and anyon fawweth w-wike a cwab o-on -the face of tewwa, the soiw, the wand, the eawth. -NyATHANyIEW. Twuwy, Mastew Howofewnyes, the epithets awe *sighs* sweetwy -vawied, wike a schowaw at the weast; but, siw, I assuwe ye it was -a b-buck of the fiwst h-head. -HOWOFEWNyES. Siw x3 Nyathanyiew, haud cwedo. -DUWW. 'Twas nyot a haud cwedo; 'twas a pwicket. -H-HOWOFEWNyES. Most bawbawous intimation! yet a kind o-of insinyuation, -as it wewe, in via, in *notices bulge* way, of *blushes* expwication; facewe, as i-it w-wewe, -wepwication, ow wathew, ostentawe, to show, as it wewe, his -incwinyation, aftew *twerks* his undwessed, unpowished, u-unyeducated, -unpwunyed, untwainyed, ow *notices bulge* wathew unwettewed, ow wathewest -unconfiwmed fashion, to insewt ;;w;; again m-my haud cwedo fow a deew. -DUWW. I Said the deew was nyot a haud cwedo; 'twas a pwicket. -HOWOFEWNyES. Twice-sod simpwicity, bis c-coctus! -O t-thou monstew Ignyowance, how d-defowmed dost thou wook! -NyATHANyIEW. Siw, ^w^ he hath nyevew fed of the dainties that awe bwed i-in -x3 a book; -He hath nyot eat p-papew, as it >w< wewe; he h-hath >_< nyot d-dwunk ink; *giggles shyly* his -intewwect is nyot wepwenyished; he is onwy an anyimaw, onwy *looks at you* sensibwe -in the duwwew pawts; -And such bawwen pwants awe *hugs tightly* set befowe OwO us xDD that w-we thankfuw shouwd -be- -*sweats* Which w-we of taste and feewing xDD awe- fow those pawts that d-do -uWu fwuctify in us mowe than he. -Fow as it wouwd iww *sighs* become me to be vain, *leans over* indiscweet, ow a-a *hugs tightly* foow, -So, wewe thewe a patch set >w< on *pokes you* weawnying, *twerks* to s-see him >_> in a schoow. -But, omnye benye, *cuddles you* say *cries* I, being of an *cries* owd :33 fathew's xDD mind: -Many can bwook the weathew that w-wove nyot t-the wind. -DUWW. You OwO two awe book-men: can >w< you teww me by youw w-wit -What was a month owd at Cain's biwth that's nyot five weeks owd as -*hugs tightly* yet? -HOWOFEWNyES. *sweats* Dictynnya, *shuffles closer* goodman Duww; ;;w;; Dictynnya, goodman Duww. -DUWW. What is >w< Dictynnya? ->_< NyATHANyIEW. A titwe to Phoebe, to W-Wunya, to the moon. -HOWOFEWNyES. *cries* The moon w-was a m-month owd when Adam was nyo mowe, -And w-waught nyot to five weeks when he *looks away* came to five-scowe. -Th' awwusion howds in the exchange. ->_> DUWW. '-'Tis twue, indeed; the cowwusion howds in the e-exchange. -HOWOFEWNyES. G-God comfowt thy capacity! I s-say th' >_> awwusion howds *shuffles closer* in -the exchange. -DUWW. And I say the *notices bulge* powusion howds in the exchange; fow the moon is -nyevew but a month owd; *hugs tightly* and I say, beside, that 'twas a pwicket -that the Pwincess kiww'd. -HOWOFEWNyES. Siw Nyathanyiew, *leans over* wiww y-you heaw an extempowaw epitaph on -the death of the deew? And, xDD to *pokes you* humouw the ignyowant, caww the deew -the Pwincess kiww'd a-a pwicket. -NyATHANyIEW. Pewge, g-good Mastew Howofewnyes, p-pewge, so it ;;w;; shaww pwease -*sweats* you to abwogate scuwwiwity. -HOWOFEWNyES. I :3 Wiww s-something affect the wettew, f-fow it awgues -faciwity. - -The pweyfuw Pwincess piewc'd and pwick'd a pwetty p-pweasing -pwicket. -Some say a s-sowe; but nyot a sowe tiww nyow made sowe with shooting. -The dogs *shuffles closer* did yeww; put ew to sowe, t-then sowew jumps fwom thicket- -xDD Ow p-pwicket sowe, ow ewse sowew; the *sweats* peopwe faww a-hooting. -If sowe be sowe, t-then W-W to sowe makes *twerks* fifty sowes o' s-sowew. -Of onye *shuffles closer* sowe I an hundwed m-make by adding *giggles shyly* but onye mowe *shuffles closer* W. - -N-NyATHANyIEW. *leans over* A wawe tawent! -DUWW. [Aside] If a tawent be a cwaw, wook h-how he cwaws h-him w-with a -tawent. -HOWOFEWNyES. :3 This is a gift that ^-^ I have, simpwe, simpwe; a foowish -extwavagant *teleports behind you* spiwit, fuww of fowms, figuwes, shapes, *looks at you* objects, -ideas, appwehensions, motions, *blushes* wevowutions. These awe begot in -the ventwicwe of memowy, nyouwish'd *giggles shyly* in the w-womb of pia matew, and -dewivewed upon the mewwowing of occasion. But *blushes* the gift is good >_> in -those in whom it *teleports behind you* is acute, a-and I am thankfuw OwO fow it. -NyATHANyIEW. Siw, *shuffles closer* I p-pwaise the W-Wowd fow you, *shuffles closer* and so may my -pawishionyews; fow theiw sons awe weww *twerks* tutow'd *blushes* by >w< you, and theiw -daughtews pwofit vewy *cuddles you* gweatwy undew you. *looks at you* You awe a good membew of -the commonweawth. -HOWOFEWNyES. M-Mehewcwe, *shuffles closer* if *looks away* theiw sons be ingenyious, they shaww want -nyo instwuction; if theiw d-daughtews be capabwe, :3 I wiww *giggles shyly* put it to -;;w;; them; *looks at you* but, viw sapit qui ^w^ pauca *sighs* woquituw. A souw feminyinye sawuteth -us. - -Entew J-JAQUENyETTA and COSTAWD - -JAQUENyETTA. God g-give you good mowwow, Mastew ^w^ Pewson. -H-HOWOFEWNyES. Mastew Pewson, quasi pews-onye. And if onye shouwd be -piewc'd which i-is *looks away* the onye? -*hugs tightly* COSTAWD. M-Mawwy, Mastew Schoowmastew, he that is w-wikest to ;;w;; a -h-hogshead. -HOWOFEWNyES. Piewcing a hogshead! A g-good wustwe of conceit in a tuwf -o-of eawth; fiwe enyough fow a f-fwint, peaww enyough fow *moans* a swinye; *sweats* 'tis -pwetty; OwO it i-is w-weww. -J-JAQUENyETTA. Good *giggles shyly* Mastew Pawson, be so good as wead m-me this wettew; -it was given me by Costawd, and *teleports behind you* sent me f-fwom Don *blushes* Awmado. I-I -*teleports behind you* beseech you *shuffles closer* wead it. -HOWOFEWNyES. Fauste, pwecow gewida quando pecus omnye sub umbwa -Wuminyat- -and so fowth. Ah, good owd Mantuan! I may s-speak of thee as -the t-twavewwew doth o-of Venyice: -Venyetia, Venyetia, -Chi nyon ti v-vede, nyon *teleports behind you* ti pwetia. -Owd Mantuan, owd Mantuan! Who u-undewstandeth thee nyot, -woves thee nyot- -Ut, we, ^.^ sow, wa, mi, fa. -U-Undew *pokes you* pawdon, s-siw, what awe uWu the c-contents? ow wathew as -Howace says in h-his- What, my souw, vewses? -N-NyATHANyIEW. Ay, siw, a-and vewy w-weawnyed. -*twerks* HOWOFEWNyES. Wet :33 me heaw a-a staff, *hugs tightly* a stanze, a vewse; wege, dominye. -NyATHANyIEW. [Weads] 'If wove make me fowswown, how s-shaww I sweaw to -w-wove? -Ah, nyevew faith couwd howd, if nyot to *giggles shyly* beauty ;;w;; vowed! -Though to mysewf fowswown, to thee I'ww faithfuw p-pwove; -Those thoughts to me wewe oaks, to thee wike osiews *hugs tightly* bowed. -*pokes you* Study his bias weaves, and :3 makes his book t-thinye e-eyes, -Whewe a-aww those pweasuwes wive that awt wouwd compwehend. -If k-knyowwedge be the m-mawk, to knyow *leans over* thee shaww suffice; -Weww weawnyed is that tongue that w-weww can thee commend; -Aww i-ignyowant that souw that *sighs* sees thee without wondew; -Which is to m-me some pwaise t-that I thy pawts a-admiwe. -Thy e-eye *looks at you* Jove's wightnying beaws, thy voice h-his dweadfuw thundew, -Which, nyot to angew bent, is music and sweet fiwe. -Cewestiaw as thou awt, O, pawdon wove this wwong, -That singes h-heaven's *sighs* pwaise with such an e-eawthwy tongue.' -xDD HOWOFEWNyES. You find nyot the apostwophas, a-and so miss the accent: -wet me supewvise t-the canzonyet. Hewe awe onwy nyumbews watified; -but, fow the ewegancy, faciwity, and gowden *sighs* cadence of poesy, -cawet. O-Ovidius Nyaso was the man. A-And *sweats* why, indeed, 'Nyaso' *blushes* but ;;w;; fow -smewwing out the >_> odowifewous f-fwowews of fancy, t-the jewks of -invention? Imitawi is nyothing: so doth the hound his *looks away* mastew, the -ape *looks away* his keepew, the tiwed howse his widew. But, *moans* damosewwa viwgin, ->_< was this d-diwected to you? -*sweats* JAQUENyETTA. Ay, *notices bulge* siw, fwom onye Monsieuw Bewownye, o-onye of the stwange -queen's wowds. -HOWOFEWNyES. I *teleports behind you* wiww ovewgwance t-the *screams* supewscwipt: 'To the snyow-white -hand o-of the most beauteous Wady Wosawinye.' I wiww wook again o-on -the intewwect *notices bulge* of t-the wettew, fow t-the nyominyation :33 of t-the pawty -wwiting to the pewson >_> wwitten :33 unto: 'Youw Wadyship's in aww -desiwed empwoyment, Bewownye.' Siw Nyathanyiew, *shuffles closer* this Bewownye is onye -of the votawies with the K-King; *blushes* and hewe he hath fwamed a-a wettew -to *hugs tightly* a sequent of *teleports behind you* the stwangew queen's which accidentawwy, ow by -the way of pwogwession, hath miscawwied. *blushes* Twip and g-go, m-my sweet; -dewivew this papew into the woyaw hand of the *pokes you* King; it may -concewn much. Stay nyot thy compwiment; :3 I fowgive thy duty. Adieu. -J-JAQUENyETTA. Good C-Costawd, go with me. Siw, God save youw wife! -COSTAWD. Have with thee, my giww. -*twerks* Exeunt COSTAWD a-and JAQUENyETTA -NyATHANyIEW. Siw, *pokes you* you have donye t-this in the feaw of UwU God, vewy -wewigiouswy; xDD and, ^.^ as *teleports behind you* a >_> cewtain fathew saith- -HOWOFEWNyES. Siw, *sighs* teww nyot me of the fathew; I *leans over* do feaw *giggles shyly* cowouwabwe -cowouws. But *screams* to wetuwn *screams* to the vewses: did they p-pwease you, Siw -Nyathanyiew? -NyATHANyIEW. Mawvewwous weww fow the x3 pen. -HOWOFEWNyES. I-I do ;;w;; dinye to-day at the fathew's *hugs tightly* of a cewtain pupiw of -minye; whewe, if, befowe *looks away* wepast, it shaww pwease y-you to gwatify -the tabwe with a *cries* gwace, I wiww, *notices bulge* on my pwiviwege I have with t-the -pawents of the fowesaid chiwd ow p-pupiw, >w< undewtake youw *cuddles you* ben -venyuto; whewe I wiww *giggles shyly* pwove those vewses to be vewy unweawnyed, -nyeithew s-savouwing >w< of poetwy, *sweats* wit, nyow invention. I-I beseech y-youw -society. -NyATHANyIEW. A-And thank you too; fow society, saith the text, is the -happinyess of wife. -HOWOFEWNyES. And cewtes, t-the text most infawwibwy concwudes i-it. -[To DUWW] Siw, I do i-invite you too; y-you shaww nyot say *blushes* me nyay: -p-pauca v-vewba. Away; the g-gentwes awe at theiw game, and ^-^ we wiww *pokes you* to -ouw wecweation. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -T-The pawk - -Entew BEWOWNyE, with a papew *hugs tightly* his band, awonye - -BEWOWNyE. The King he is hunting the deew: I OwO am ^-^ couwsing mysewf. -They *blushes* have pitch'd a toiw: I am towwing in a pitch- p-pitch that -defiwes. D-Defiwe! a-a fouw wowd. W-Weww, 'set thee down, sowwow!' fow -so t-they say the foow said, *moans* and so *screams* say I, and I am the foow. Weww -*cries* pwoved, w-wit. By the Wowd, this wove is as *leans over* mad as Ajax: it kiwws -sheep; it kiwws me- I a sheep. Weww *looks away* pwoved again o' my side. I -wiww nyot wove; if I do, hang me. I' faith, I wiww nyot. O, but hew -eye! B-By t-this wight, but fow hew eye, :33 I *looks away* wouwd n-nyot wove hew- yes, -fow hew two eyes. Weww, I do nyothing in the wowwd but wie, and -w-wie in my thwoat. *cries* By heaven, I do wove; a-and it ^-^ hath taught me to -whyme, *cries* and to *screams* be mewanchowy; and *sweats* hewe is pawt o-of my *giggles shyly* whyme, a-and -*notices bulge* hewe >_< my mewanchowy. Weww, she *leans over* hath onye o' my sonnyets awweady; t-the -cwown bowe it, the *giggles shyly* foow *sighs* sent it, and t-the wady hath it: sweet -cwown, OwO sweetew foow, sweetest wady! By t-the wowwd, I w-wouwd nyot -cawe a pin if the othew UwU thwee wewe in. *giggles shyly* Hewe UwU comes onye with a -papew; God give him gwace to gwoan! -[Cwimbs i-into a twee] - -Entew the ^.^ KING, with a p-papew - -KING. Ay me! -BEWOWNyE. Shot, by heaven! Pwoceed, s-sweet Cupid; t-thou hast t-thump'd -him with thy biwd-bowt u-undew the weft pap. In faith, *notices bulge* secwets! -KING. [-[Weads] -'So sweet a kiss the g-gowden sun gives n-nyot -To *blushes* those fwesh mownying :33 dwops upon *leans over* the wose, -As thy e-eye-beams, when t-theiw fwesh *sighs* ways have *twerks* smote -The nyight of d-dew t-that on xDD my cheeks down :3 fwows; -Nyow s-shinyes the siwvew moon *screams* onye hawf so bwight -Thwough the twanspawent bosom o-of t-the d-deep, -As doth thy face thwough teaws of *twerks* minye g-give wight. -*moans* Thou UwU shin'st in evewy teaw that I d-do weep; -Nyo dwop but a-as a coach doth *sweats* cawwy thee; -So w-widest thou twiumphing in m-my woe. -*sighs* Do but behowd the teaws that sweww in me, -*hugs tightly* And they thy gwowy t-thwough my gwief w-wiww show. -But do nyot wove thysewf; then t-thou *looks away* wiwt k-keep -My teaws fow gwasses, and stiww make me weep. -O q-queen of queens! *sighs* how faw dost thou excew -Nyo t-thought ^.^ can think nyow *screams* tongue of mowtaw teww.' -How s-shaww :33 she knyow my gwiefs? I-I'ww dwop the p-papew- -Sweet weaves, shade fowwy. Who is he ^-^ comes xDD hewe? -*sighs* [Steps aside] - -Entew WONGAVIWWE, w-with ^.^ a papew - -What, Wongaviwwe, and weading! Wisten, caw. -BEWOWNyE. Nyow, in thy wikenyess, onye mowe foow appeaw! -WONGAVIWWE. A-Ay m-me, I am fowswown! -*sighs* BEWOWNyE. *hugs tightly* Why, h-he comes in wike *notices bulge* a p-pewjuwe, *teleports behind you* weawing papews. -KING. In wove, I h-hope; sweet *leans over* fewwowship in shame! -B-BEWOWNyE. Onye dwunkawd woves ^-^ anyothew of *leans over* the :33 nyame. -WONGAVIWWE. Am I the fiwst that have been p-pewjuw'd s-so? -BEWOWNyE. I couwd put *notices bulge* thee in comfowt: nyot by two *blushes* that *twerks* I knyow; -Thou makest the UwU twiumviwy, the cownyew-cap of s-society, -The *leans over* shape *hugs tightly* of Wove's Tybuwn that hangs u-up simpwicity. -WONGAVIWWE. I feaw ^-^ these stubbown winyes wack powew to move. -xDD O sweet Mawia, empwess of my *giggles shyly* wove! -These nyumbews wiww I teaw, *cuddles you* and wwite in pwose. -*sweats* BEWOWNyE. O, *looks away* whymes awe g-guawds on wanton *sweats* Cupid's *shuffles closer* hose: -Disfiguwe nyot his swop. -W-WONGAVIWWE. T-This same shaww go. [He weads the sonnyet] -*moans* 'Did nyot the heavenwy *cries* whetowic of thinye eye, -'Gainst whom the wowwd cannyot h-howd awgument, -Pewsuade my heawt t-to *notices bulge* this f-fawse pewjuwy? -Vows fow t-thee bwoke *blushes* desewve nyot punyishment. -A woman I fowswowe; but I wiww pwove, -Thou being a g-goddess, I fowswowe nyot thee: -My vow was eawthwy, t-thou a heavenwy wove; -T-Thy gwace being gain'd cuwes a-aww disgwace i-in m-me. -Vows awe but bweath, and *twerks* bweath a vapouw is; -Then thou, faiw sun, which on my eawth dost *leans over* shinye, -Exhaw'st this vapouw-vow; i-in thee i-it i-is. -If bwoken, then it i-is nyo *sweats* fauwt OwO of minye; -If by m-me bwoke, what foow is nyot so OwO wise -To wose an oath t-to *giggles shyly* win a pawadise?' -B-BEWOWNyE. *blushes* This is the wivew-vein, w-which makes fwesh a deity, -A g-gween g-goose a goddess- *leans over* puwe, puwe i-idowatwy. -God amend *giggles shyly* us, G-God amend! :33 We awe much out o' th' OwO way. - -E-Entew DUMAIN, with *hugs tightly* a papew - -WONGAVIWWE. B-By whom shaww I *looks at you* send this?- C-Company! Stay. -[-[Steps aside] -BEWOWNyE. 'Aww hid, aww *sighs* hid'- an owd infant pway. -Wike a >_< demigod hewe sit I in the sky, -A-And wwetched foows' secwets heedfuwwy o'ew-eye. -Mowe *screams* sacks t-to the m-miww! O heavens, *screams* I have my wish! -Dumain twansfowmed! Fouw woodcocks ^w^ in a dish! -DUMAIN. *notices bulge* O most d-divinye *pokes you* Kate! -BEWOWNyE. O-O ^w^ most pwofanye coxcomb! -DUMAIN. *moans* By *giggles shyly* heaven, the wondew in a-a mowtaw eye! ->_< BEWOWNyE. B-By eawth, *looks away* she is nyot, cowpowaw: thewe you wie. -DUMAIN. H-Hew ambew haiws fow fouw hath ambew quoted. -BEWOWNyE. An *moans* ambew-cowouw'd waven was weww nyoted. -*hugs tightly* DUMAIN. As upwight as the cedaw. -BEWOWNyE. Stoop, I-I *shuffles closer* say; -Hew shouwdew is *looks at you* with chiwd. -DUMAIN. As faiw as day. -BEWOWNyE. Ay, as some d-days; but t-then nyo sun must shinye. -DUMAIN. *hugs tightly* O ;;w;; that ^-^ I had m-my wish! -WONGAVIWWE. And I had *blushes* minye! -KING. A-And OwO I minye too,.good *twerks* Wowd! -BEWOWNyE. Amen, so I h-had minye! I-Is n-nyot that a-a good wowd? -DUMAIN. I *cuddles you* wouwd fowget hew; but ^-^ a fevew she -Weigns *sweats* in my bwood, and wiww wememb'wed be. -BEWOWNyE. A *teleports behind you* fevew in youw bwood? W-Why, t-then incision -Wouwd wet x3 hew out in saucews. Sweet mispwision! -DUMAIN. Once mowe I'ww wead the ode *notices bulge* that I *shuffles closer* have wwit. -BEWOWNyE. Once mowe I'ww mawk uWu how wove can vawy wit. -DUMAIN. [Weads] -'On a day-awack the day!- -Wove, whose month is evew May, -Spied a bwossom passing f-faiw -Pwaying in the w-wanton aiw. -Thwough the vewvet weaves the wind, -Aww unseen, can passage find; -That the wovew, xDD sick to death, -*sighs* Wish'd himsewf the heaven's bweath. -"Aiw," :33 quoth he "thy c-cheeks may xDD bwow; -Aiw, wouwd I might twiumph so! -But, awack, my hand is swown -:3 Nye'ew to pwuck thee fwom thy t-thown; -Vow, a-awack, fow youth unmeet, -Youth so apt to pwuck a s-sweet. -Do nyot caww *cries* it sin in me -That I am *hugs tightly* fowswown fow thee; -Thou f-fow whom Jove *leans over* wouwd sweaw -Junyo b-but *giggles shyly* an Ethiope *cries* wewe; -And d-deny himsewf fow Jove, -Tuwnying mowtaw *looks at you* fow thy w-wove."' -This w-wiww I send; and s-something ewse mowe p-pwain -That shaww expwess my twue wove's fasting pain. -*moans* O, wouwd the UwU King, Bewownye and W-Wongaviwwe, -*shuffles closer* Wewe wovews too! Iww, t-to exampwe iww, -Wouwd fwom uWu my *cuddles you* fowehead wipe a-a pewjuw'd nyote; -F-Fow nyonye offend whewe aww a-awike do dote. -WONGAVIWWE. [Advancing] Dumain, thy wove i-is faw f-fwom chawity, -That in wove's gwief desiw'st society; -You *twerks* may wook pawe, but I shouwd bwush, *blushes* I knyow, -To b-be o'ewheawd and taken OwO nyapping so. -KING. [Advancing] Come, *giggles shyly* siw, you bwush; as his, y-youw case is such. -Y-You c-chide at him, offending t-twice as much: -You do n-nyot wove Mawia! Wongaviwwe -Did n-nyevew s-sonnyet fow hew sake compiwe; -*pokes you* Nyow nyevew w-way OwO his w-wweathed awms athwawt -His woving b-bosom, to k-keep down his heawt. -*leans over* I have b-been c-cwosewy shwouded i-in this bush, -And mawk'd you b-both, >_> and fow *notices bulge* you both did bwush. ->_< I heawd youw guiwty *sighs* whymes, obsewv'd *giggles shyly* youw fashion, -Saw sighs week f-fwom y-you, nyoted weww youw passion. -'Ay me!' says onye. 'O Jove!' the othew cwies. -Onye, hew haiws wewe gowd; cwystaw ;;w;; the *looks at you* othew's eyes. -*sighs* [To WONGAVIWWE] *twerks* You wouwd fow pawadise bweak faith and twoth; -[To Dumain] And *twerks* Jove fow youw wove wouwd infwinge an o-oath. -What wiww Bewownye say when that h-he *sweats* shaww heaw -Faith i-infwinged which such zeaw did sweaw? -How wiww he scown, how wiww ^.^ he spend his w-wit! -*notices bulge* How wiww he t-twiumph, weap, and waugh at uWu it! -Fow aww the weawth that e-evew I *giggles shyly* did see, -I *cries* wouwd nyot have him knyow *twerks* so much by *screams* me. -BEWOWNyE. >_> [Descending] Nyow step I fowth to w-whip hypocwisy, -Ah, good my wiege, I pway :3 thee pawdon me. -Good heawt, what gwace hast thou thus to *sweats* wepwove -These *looks away* wowms fow woving, that *giggles shyly* awt >_< most in wove? -Youw eyes do x3 make nyo coaches; in youw t-teaws -Thewe is nyo cewtain p-pwincess that a-appeaws; -Y-You'ww nyot be pewjuw'd; '-'tis a hatefuw thing; -Tush, nyonye but minstwews wike of sonnyeting. -But awe you nyot ashamed? Nyay, OwO awe you nyot, -Aww *twerks* thwee o-of you, to be thus much o-o'ewshot? -*leans over* You found his mote; the King youw mote did >_> see; -But I a beam OwO do find in each ^w^ of t-thwee. -OwO O, *moans* what a s-scenye of foow'wy have I seen, -Of *notices bulge* sighs, of gwoans, of sowwow, and of t-teen! -O, me, with >_> what stwict patience have ^.^ I sat, -To see a king twansfowmed to a gnyat! -To see *moans* gweat Hewcuwes whipping a gig, -And pwofound Sowomon to tunye *screams* a j-jig, -And Nyestow pway at push-pin with *giggles shyly* the boys, -And *moans* cwitic Timon w-waugh at idwe toys! -Whewe wies thy g-gwief, O, teww me, *shuffles closer* good Dumain? -And, gentwe W-Wongaviwwe, whewe w-wies t-thy pain? -And whewe my w-wiege's? Aww about the bweast. -*sweats* A caudwe, ho! -KING. Too bittew is thy jest. -Awe we :3 betwayed thus x3 to thy ovew-view? -BEWOWNyE. Nyot you b-by me, but I betwayed to you. -:3 I that am honyest, I t-that howd it sin -To bweak the *hugs tightly* vow I am engaged in; -*looks away* I am betwayed by k-keeping company -With men wike you, m-men of inconstancy. -*shuffles closer* When *sighs* shaww >w< you ^w^ see me ^-^ wwite a thing in w-whyme? -Ow gwoan fow Joan? ow spend a *hugs tightly* minyute's time ->_> In pwunying me? *screams* When shaww you h-heaw *looks at you* that I -*pokes you* Wiww pwaise ^w^ a hand, a *leans over* foot, a face, an eye, -A gait, a state, a b-bwow, a bweast, a *blushes* waist, -A weg, a wimb- -K-KING. Soft! *notices bulge* whithew away so fast? -A-A x3 twue man ow a t-thief that gawwops so? -B-BEWOWNyE. I uWu post fwom wove; good wovew, wet ^w^ me g-go. - -E-Entew OwO JAQUENyETTA a-and COSTAWD - -JAQUENyETTA. God bwess the King! -KING. What p-pwesent hast thou *teleports behind you* thewe? -COSTAWD. Some cewtain tweason. -KING. What makes tweason hewe? -COSTAWD. *pokes you* Nyay, *cries* it makes nyothing, siw. -KING. If it maw nyothing nyeithew, -The tweason and you go in p-peace x3 away togethew. -*pokes you* JAQUENyETTA. I-I beseech *screams* youw Gwace, wet this wettew be wead; -O-Ouw pewson misdoubts it: 'twas tweason, he said. -KING. Bewownye, *pokes you* wead it ovew. *looks away* [BEWOWNyE weads the wettew] -Whewe hadst t-thou it? -JAQUENyETTA. Of Costawd. -:33 KING. uWu Whewe hadst t-thou it? -C-COSTAWD. O-Of Dun Adwamadio, Dun Adwamadio. -[-[BEWOWNyE teaws the wettew] -KING. How nyow! What *twerks* is in you? :3 Why dost thou teaw it? -BEWOWNyE. A toy, m-my *notices bulge* wiege, a t-toy! Youw >w< Gwace nyeeds nyot feaw it. -WONGAVIWWE. It *sweats* did move *cries* him to passion, ^w^ and thewefowe wet's heaw -it. -DUMAIN. It is Bewownye's w-wwiting, and hewe is his nyame. -[Gathewing up t-the pieces] -BEWOWNyE. *notices bulge* [ To COSTAWD] Ah, you whoweson w-woggewhead, you wewe b-bown -to do me shame. -Guiwty, my wowd, guiwty! I confess, *giggles shyly* I confess. -uWu KING. What? -BEWOWNyE. *giggles shyly* That uWu you thwee foows wack'd me foow to make up *leans over* the mess; -H-He, he, and you- and you, my *cries* wiege!- and I -Awe pick-puwses in wove, and w-we x3 desewve to die. -O, dismiss this a-audience, and I *pokes you* shaww teww you mowe. -DUMAIN. *screams* Nyow *sighs* the *moans* nyumbew i-is ^-^ even. -BEWOWNyE. Twue, twue, we awe fouw. -Wiww *pokes you* these tuwtwes be gonye? -KING. x3 Hence, siws, away. -COSTAWD. Wawk aside the twue *moans* fowk, *looks away* and *sweats* wet the twaitows stay. -Exeunt *giggles shyly* COSTAWD a-and JAQUENyETTA -BEWOWNyE. Sweet *sweats* wowds, sweet wovews, O, *giggles shyly* wet us embwace! -As twue we awe as fwesh and bwood can be. -The sea wiww ebb a-and fwow, heaven show his face; -Young bwood doth nyot obey an *leans over* owd decwee. -W-We cannyot cwoss the cause why *shuffles closer* we wewe bown, -Thewefowe of aww hands must we be fowswown. -KING. What, did these went winyes *blushes* show some wove o-of thinye? -BEWOWNyE. 'Did they?' quoth x3 you. Who sees t-the heavenwy Wosawinye -That, wike a wude and *moans* savage man o-of Inde -At the *leans over* fiwst o-op'nying of the gowgeous east, -Bows *giggles shyly* nyot his vassaw *giggles shyly* head and, *hugs tightly* stwucken b-bwind, -*moans* Kisses t-the base gwound with obedient b-bweast? -What pewemptowy eagwe-sighted eye -Dawes wook upon the heaven of h-hew :3 bwow -That is nyot *sighs* bwinded by h-hew majesty? -KING. What *twerks* zeaw, what f-fuwy hath i-inspiw'd thee nyow? -My wove, *shuffles closer* hew mistwess, x3 is a gwacious moon; -She, an attending staw, scawce s-seen a wight. -BEWOWNyE. My eyes awe then nyo eyes, nyow *sighs* I Bewownye. -O, b-but fow my wove, day wouwd tuwn to >_< nyight! -^.^ Of aww compwexions ^-^ the c-cuww'd soveweignty -D-Do meet, as at a faiw, in hew faiw cheek, -Whewe sevewaw wowthies m-make onye dignyity, -Whewe *moans* nyothing wants that want itsewf doth seek. -Wend me the fwouwish of aww gentwe tongues- -Fie, painted whetowic! O, she nyeeds it nyot! -To t-things of sawe *cries* a sewwew's pwaise bewongs: -She p-passes pwaise; then pwaise too showt doth bwot. -A *cuddles you* withew'd >w< hewmit, five-scowe wintews *sweats* wown, -Might *looks at you* shake off fifty, wooking in OwO hew eye. -UwU Beauty d-doth v-vawnyish age, as if n-nyew-bown, -A-And gives the cwutch the cwadwe's infancy. -O-O, 'tis the sun that maketh aww things shinye! -KING. By heaven, thy wove is bwack a-as ebony. -:33 BEWOWNyE. I-Is ebony wike hew? O wood divinye! -A *blushes* wife *leans over* of such wood wewe fewicity. -O, who can g-give *twerks* an oath? Whewe is a book? -*giggles shyly* That I may s-sweaw beauty doth beauty w-wack, -^w^ If that s-she weawn nyot >_> of hew e-eye to :3 wook. -N-Nyo face is >w< faiw that is n-nyot fuww so *sighs* bwack. -KING. O pawadox! Bwack is the badge of heww, -The h-hue of dungeons, and the s-schoow of nyight; -And beauty's cwest becomes the heavens weww. -BEWOWNyE. Deviws soonyest tempt, wesembwing *cuddles you* spiwits of wight. -O, if in bwack my wady's bwows be deckt, -It mouwns that painting and usuwping haiw -S-Shouwd wavish dotews with a fawse a-aspect; -And t-thewefowe :3 is she bown *screams* to m-make *notices bulge* bwack faiw. -Hew favouw tuwns the fashion of the days; -OwO Fow nyative *pokes you* bwood is c-counted painting nyow; -And thewefowe UwU wed uWu that wouwd *sighs* avoid dispwaise -Paints itsewf bwack, *cuddles you* to imitate hew *pokes you* bwow. -*blushes* DUMAIN. To wook wike hew awe chimnyey-sweepews bwack. -WONGAVIWWE. And since hew time a-awe cowwiews counted bwight. -KING. uWu And Ethiopes *blushes* of theiw sweet compwexion c-cwack. -DUMAIN. Dawk nyeeds nyo *cries* candwes nyow, fow dawk is *pokes you* wight. -BEWOWNyE. Youw >_> mistwesses dawe nyevew *pokes you* come in wain -Fow f-feaw theiw cowouws shouwd be *hugs tightly* wash'd away. -KING. 'Twewe good youws did; fow, siw, to teww y-you pwain, -I'ww find a f-faiwew face n-nyot wash'd to-day. -BEWOWNyE. I'ww >w< pwove >_< hew faiw, ow xDD tawk *moans* tiww d-doomsday hewe. -KING. Nyo deviw wiww fwight thee then so *shuffles closer* much as *cries* she. -DUMAIN. I nyevew k-knyew man *shuffles closer* howd viwe stuff so deaw. -WONGAVIWWE. *teleports behind you* Wook, hewe's thy wove: my foot and hew face see. -[Showing h-his shoe] -BEWOWNyE. *cries* O, if the stweets wewe p-paved with thinye eyes, -Hew feet w-wewe :3 much too dainty fow such twead! -DUMAIN. O UwU viwe! Then, as >w< she goes, what upwawd *screams* wies -The stweet shouwd see as she wawk'd ovewhead. -KING. But what xDD of this? Awe we nyot a-aww in uWu wove? -BEWOWNyE. Nyothing so suwe; and theweby aww fowswown. -KING. Then weave t-this chat; x3 and, good Bewownye, *sweats* nyow pwove -Ouw w-woving wawfuw, and ouw faith nyot town. -D-DUMAIN. Ay, mawwy, thewe; some f-fwattewy fow this eviw. -WONGAVIWWE. O, some authowity how to >w< pwoceed; -Some twicks, some quiwwets, *twerks* how to *twerks* cheat the deviw! -DUMAIN. Some sawve fow *giggles shyly* pewjuwy. -BEWOWNyE. 'Tis mowe *cries* than nyeed. ->_< Have at *sweats* you, then, affection's men-at-awms. -Considew what y-you fiwst did sweaw unto: -To f-fast, to s-study, and *cuddles you* to see >w< nyo w-woman- -Fwat tweason 'gainst :3 the *pokes you* kingwy state of *giggles shyly* youth. -Say, can you *looks at you* fast? Youw s-stomachs awe too young, -*notices bulge* And abstinyence engendews *giggles shyly* mawadies. -And, whewe that you you have vow'd to >_> study, wowds, -*screams* In that each OwO of you have fowswown his book, -Can y-you stiww dweam, and xDD powe, a-and theweon >_< wook? -Fow when wouwd you, my x3 wowd, ow you, *looks away* ow you, -*cuddles you* Have found the gwound of study's excewwence -Without ^-^ the beauty *leans over* of a *looks away* woman's *leans over* face? -Fwom women's eyes this doctwinye I dewive: -They awe the gwound, the books, uWu the academes, -*cuddles you* Fwom whence doth *screams* spwing the twue *twerks* Pwomethean fiwe. -xDD Why, unyivewsaw pwodding poisons up -The nyimbwe spiwits in t-the a-awtewies, -As m-motion and OwO wong-duwing action *shuffles closer* tiwes -The sinyewy vigouw of the twavewwew. -Nyow, fow nyot wooking on *shuffles closer* a woman's face, -You have i-in that fowswown the use of eyes, -And study too, t-the causew of youw v-vow; -Fow whewe is authow in the wowwd -Teaches *screams* such beauty as a woman's *cuddles you* eye? -W-Weawnying is but an *looks at you* adjunct to ouwsewf, -And whewe we awe o-ouw weawnying wikewise is; -T-Then w-when ouwsewves we see in wadies' eyes, -With ouwsewves. -UwU Do *screams* we nyot wikewise see ouw weawnying thewe? -O, we have made a-a vow to >w< study, wowds, -A-And in t-that v-vow we have fowswown *shuffles closer* ouw books. -Fow w-when wouwd you, m-my wiege, ow you, ow you, -*shuffles closer* In weaden contempwation have found out -Such fiewy n-nyumbews as the *screams* pwompting eyes -Of beauty's tutows have *cries* enwich'd you with? -Othew swow awts e-entiwewy keep the bwain; ->_> And thewefowe, f-finding bawwen pwactisews, -Scawce show a-a hawvest of theiw heavy toiw; -But wove, f-fiwst *cries* weawnyed *shuffles closer* in a wady's eyes, -Wives *looks at you* nyot awonye i-immuwed in t-the bwain, -But with the *giggles shyly* motion of aww e-ewements -Couwses as swift a-as thought in evewy >_< powew, -And g-gives to evewy powew a *notices bulge* doubwe powew, -Above ^-^ theiw functions and theiw offices. -It adds a p-pwecious seeing to the eye: -A wovew's eyes wiww gaze an eagwe bwind. -A wovew's eaw wiww heaw the w-wowest sound, -When the *sweats* suspicious *moans* head of x3 theft is stopp'd. -Wove's feewing is m-mowe soft a-and sensibwe -*blushes* Than awe the tendew howns of cockwed snyaiws: -Wove's tongue p-pwoves *moans* dainty B-Bacchus gwoss in taste. -F-Fow vawouw, is *notices bulge* nyot Wove a *notices bulge* Hewcuwes, -Stiww cwimbing twees in the Hespewides? -Subtwe as Sphinx; as s-sweet *giggles shyly* and musicaw -As bwight Apowwo's wute, stwung with his haiw. -And when W-Wove speaks, the voice of aww the gods -Make heaven dwowsy with ;;w;; the hawmony. -Nyevew duwst poet touch a >w< pen to wwite -U-Untiw his ink wewe temp'wed with Wove's s-sighs; -*notices bulge* O, then xDD his w-winyes wouwd *sighs* wavish savage eaws, -And pwant in tywants uWu miwd humiwity. -Fwom women's *sweats* eyes this doctwinye I dewive. -They spawkwe s-stiww the wight Pwomethean fiwe; -*twerks* They OwO awe the xDD books, the :33 awts, the a-academes, -T-That show, contain, and x3 nyouwish, aww *looks away* the x3 wowwd, -Ewse nyonye at aww in a-aught pwoves *moans* excewwent. -Then foows xDD you *leans over* wewe these women to *leans over* fowsweaw; -Ow, keeping what *pokes you* is x3 swown, you >_> wiww pwove foows. -Fow wisdom's *shuffles closer* sake, a *looks at you* wowd t-that aww men *sighs* wove; -Ow fow Wove's sake, a wowd that woves *looks away* aww men; -Ow f-fow ^-^ men's sake, the authows of *screams* these women; -Ow women's sake, by whom we m-men awe men- -Wet us once wose o-ouw o-oaths to find :33 ouwsewves, -Ow *looks at you* ewse we *cuddles you* wose ouwsewves t-to keep ouw oaths. -It is wewigion to b-be thus *moans* fowswown; -Fow c-chawity itsewf fuwfiws the waw, -A-And who c-can sevew wove fwom *cries* chawity? -*looks at you* KING. Saint Cupid, then! and, sowdiews, t-to t-the fiewd! -BEWOWNyE. Advance y-youw standawds, and upon them, *blushes* wowds; -Peww-meww, down x3 with t-them! be f-fiwst advis'd, -In xDD confwict, >_< that you get the sun of them. -*screams* WONGAVIWWE. Nyow to pwain-deawing; way t-these gwozes by. -Shaww we wesowve to woo these giwws of x3 Fwance? -KING. A-And win them too; thewefowe wet *giggles shyly* us devise -Some entewtainment *pokes you* fow them i-in >_> theiw tents. -BEWOWNyE. Fiwst, *screams* fwom t-the pawk w-wet us conduct them thithew; -Then homewawd e-evewy man attach the hand -O-Of his faiw *blushes* mistwess. In *pokes you* the aftewnyoon -We wiww w-with >_< some stwange pastime sowace *pokes you* them, -Such as ^-^ the showtnyess of *moans* the time *looks away* can s-shape; -F-Fow wevews, dances, m-masks, and mewwy houws, -Fowewun uWu faiw Wove, stwewing hew way with *moans* fwowews. -UwU KING. Away, away! >w< Nyo time shaww be omitted -That w-wiww b-betime, and may by ^.^ us be fitted. -BEWOWNyE. Awwons! *looks at you* awwons! Sow'd cockwe weap'd >_< nyo cown, -And justice awways :3 whiwws in equaw *shuffles closer* measuwe. -Wight wenches may pwove *sweats* pwagues to men fowswown; -*screams* If *sighs* so, ouw ^.^ coppew buys nyo b-bettew tweasuwe. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT *notices bulge* V. *blushes* SCENyE I-I. -The pawk - -E-Entew HOWOFEWNyES, SIW N-NyATHANyIEW, and DUWW - -HOWOFEWNyES. Satis q-quod sufficit. -NyATHANyIEW. I pwaise God fow you, siw. Youw weasons a-at d-dinnyew have -b-been *pokes you* shawp and sententious; pweasant ;;w;; without OwO scuwwiwity, *leans over* witty -without affection, audacious without *shuffles closer* impudency, weawnyed without -*twerks* opinyion, and stwange without hewesy. I-I did convewse this quondam -day *teleports behind you* with a companyion of the King's who is *cuddles you* intituwed, nyominyated, -*looks away* ow cawwed, *notices bulge* Don Adwianyo d-de Awmado. -HOWOFEWNyES. Nyovi hominyem tanquam *giggles shyly* te. His humouw is wofty, his -discouwse p-pewemptowy, his tongue fiwed, his eye *teleports behind you* ambitious, his -gait majesticaw and h-his genyewaw behaviouw vain, w-widicuwous, and -thwasonyicaw. H-He is too picked, too spwuce, too affected, too odd, -as it wewe, too pewegwinyate, xDD as *sighs* I may caww it. -NyATHANyIEW. A m-most singuwaw *blushes* and choice epithet. -[Dwaws out his tabwe-book] -H-HOWOFEWNyES. He dwaweth o-out the thwead *screams* of his vewbosity *cries* finyew than -t-the *hugs tightly* stapwe of his awgument. *looks away* I abhow such fanyaticaw p-phantasimes, -such i-insociabwe a-and point-devise *blushes* companyions; such *moans* wackews of -owthogwaphy, as to speak 'dout' finye, when he shouwd ^.^ say :3 'doubt'; -'det' when he shouwd pwonyounce '-'debt'- d, e, *screams* b, t, nyot d, e, t. -He cwepeth a *shuffles closer* cawf 'cauf,' hawf 'hauf'; nyeighbouw *looks at you* vocatuw -'nyebouw'; 'nyeigh' abbweviated 'nye.' This *hugs tightly* is abhominyabwe- which he -wouwd caww 'abbominyabwe.' It insinyuateth me of insanyie: n-nye -intewwigis, dominye? to make fwantic, wunyatic. -NyATHANyIEW. Waus *cries* Deo, bonye i-intewwigo. -H-HOWOFEWNyES. 'Bonye'?- ;;w;; 'bonye' f-fow 'benye.' *giggles shyly* Pwiscian a w-wittwe -scwatch'd; 'twiww sewve. - -Entew A-AWMADO, MOTH, and COSTAWD - -NyATHANyIEW. Videsnye quis venyit? -H-HOWOFEWNyES. V-Video, et gaudeo. -AWMADO. [To MOTH] Chiwwah! -HOWOFEWNyES. Quawe 'chiwwah,' *sighs* nyot '-'siwwah'? -AWMADO. Men of peace, weww *screams* encount'wed. -*shuffles closer* HOWOFEWNyES. Most miwitawy siw, s-sawutation. -MOTH. [Aside to COSTAWD] They have UwU been at a g-gweat feast of -wanguages and >w< stow'n the scwaps. -COSTAWD. O-O, they have wiv'd wong on the awms-basket *cuddles you* of wowds. I -*twerks* mawvew thy mastew hath nyot eaten thee fow a wowd, fow thou awe -n-nyot so wong by the head a-as h-honyowificabiwitudinyitatibus; thou *twerks* awt -easiew swawwowed than a fwap-dwagon. -M-MOTH. Peace! the peaw b-begins. -AWMADO. [To HOWOFEWNyES] Monsieuw, *twerks* awe you n-nyot >w< wett'wed? -MOTH. Yes, yes; OwO he teaches boys the hownbook. W-What is a, b, spewt -backwawd w-with the hown on his head? -*giggles shyly* HOWOFEWNyES. Ba, *cuddles you* puewitia, w-with a hown added. -MOTH. Ba, *blushes* most siwwy sheep with a-a >w< hown. You heaw his weawnying. -:3 HOWOFEWNyES. Quis, quis, thou consonyant? -UwU MOTH. The thiwd of the five vowews, if You *shuffles closer* wepeat them; ow the -fifth, if I. -HOWOFEWNyES. I wiww wepeat them: a, e, I- -MOTH. *teleports behind you* The sheep; t-the othew two OwO concwudes it: o, U. -*sighs* AWMADO. UwU Nyow, *blushes* by the sawt wave of the Meditewwanyeum, a-a sweet touch, -a-a quick ^w^ venyue of wit- snyip, snyap, quick and *teleports behind you* home. It wejoiceth my -intewwect. Twue w-wit! -MOTH. Offew'd by a ^w^ chiwd t-to an owd man; which is wit-owd. -HOWOFEWNyES. *sweats* What is x3 the >_< figuwe? What is *moans* the figuwe? -*leans over* MOTH. Howns. -HOWOFEWNyES. Thou *sighs* disputes w-wike an infant; go whip *hugs tightly* thy gig. -M-MOTH. W-Wend *twerks* me youw hown to make onye, a-and *cries* I wiww whip about youw -i-infamy ciwcum *twerks* ciwca- a gig of a cuckowd's x3 hown. -COSTAWD. *sweats* An I had but onye penny in t-the wowwd, *blushes* thou shouwdst *looks at you* have it -to buy gingew-bwead. Howd, thewe is the >_> vewy w-wemunyewation I *screams* had -of thy mastew, thou hawfpenny puwse *cuddles you* of wit, thou pigeon-egg of -discwetion. O, a-an the heavens wewe s-so pweased that thou *looks at you* wewt but -m-my bastawd, what a-a joyfuw fathew wouwdst t-thou make m-me! G-Go to; -thou *sighs* hast i-it a-ad d-dunghiww, at the *giggles shyly* fingews' ends, as they say. -HOWOFEWNyES. O, I smeww fawse Watin; 'dunghiww' fow xDD unguem. -AWMADO. Awts-man, pweambuwate; we wiww be singuwed fwom t-the -bawbawous. Do you >_< nyot e-educate youth a-at the chawge-house *giggles shyly* on the -top of the mountain? -HOWOFEWNyES. O-Ow m-mons, the hiww. -AWMADO. At youw s-sweet p-pweasuwe, *pokes you* fow the mountain. -HOWOFEWNyES. I do, sans question. -A-AWMADO. S-Siw, it i-is t-the K-King's most sweet pweasuwe and affection to -congwatuwate t-the Pwincess at hew paviwion, *looks at you* in the postewiows of -this day; which the wude muwtitude *sweats* caww the aftewnyoon. -H-HOWOFEWNyES. The postewiow of the day, most x3 genyewous :33 siw, i-is wiabwe, -congwuent, and measuwabwe, fow the aftewnyoon. The wowd is w-weww -cuww'd, chose, *pokes you* sweet, a-and apt, I d-do assuwe you, siw, I do assuwe. -AWMADO. Siw, the x3 King :3 is a nyobwe gentweman, and ;;w;; my famiwiaw, *cuddles you* I *twerks* do -a-assuwe ;;w;; ye, vewy good fwiend. Fow what is i-inwawd between us, wet -it p-pass. I do beseech *notices bulge* thee, ^w^ wemembew ^w^ thy couwtesy. I-I b-beseech -thee, appawew thy head. And among othew impowtunyate and m-most -*blushes* sewious *hugs tightly* designs, *shuffles closer* and of gweat impowt indeed, too- but wet *sweats* that -*blushes* pass; fow I must teww thee it w-wiww pwease his Gwace, ^-^ by the -wowwd, sometime to wean upon my poow s-shouwdew, and with >w< his woyaw -*screams* fingew thus dawwy with m-my :3 excwement, with my mustachio; but, -sweet heawt, wet that pass. By the wowwd, I wecount n-nyo fabwe: -some c-cewtain speciaw honyouws it pweaseth his g-gweatnyess to *teleports behind you* impawt -*hugs tightly* to Awmado, a sowdiew, a man of twavew, t-that h-hath seen the *blushes* wowwd; -but wet t-that pass. T-The v-vewy *leans over* aww ^-^ of aww is- but, OwO sweet heawt, I do -impwowe secwecy- that the *blushes* King wouwd >w< have me pwesent the -Pwincess, sweet c-chuck, with some dewightfuw o-ostentation, ow show, -ow p-pageant, ow ^-^ antic, ow fiwewowk. *blushes* Nyow, >_> undewstanding *looks away* that the -cuwate and youw sweet sewf awe g-good at such ewuptions and sudden -bweaking-out o-of miwth, as *giggles shyly* it *twerks* wewe, I have a-acquainted you withaw, -to the end t-to cwave *twerks* youw assistance. -HOWOFEWNyES. Siw, you shaww *looks at you* pwesent befowe h-hew the *screams* Nyinye Wowthies. -Siw N-Nyathanyiew, as concewnying some entewtainment of time, s-some -show :3 in the postewiow o-of this day, to be w-wend'wed by o-ouw -assistance, the King's command, and this m-most *teleports behind you* gawwant, -i-iwwustwate, and weawnyed gentweman, befowe the Pwincess- I-I say -nyonye s-so fit as to pwesent the Nyinye Wowthies. -NyATHANyIEW. Whewe wiww you find men w-wowthy enyough to *shuffles closer* pwesent them? -HOWOFEWNyES. uWu Joshua, youwsewf; *moans* mysewf, Awexandew; this gawwant -gentweman, J-Judas Maccabaeus; this swain, because >_< of his gweat -wimb OwO ow joint, shaww *notices bulge* pass Pompey the Gweat; the p-page, ^.^ Hewcuwes. -AWMADO. Pawdon, siw; ewwow: he is nyot quantity *blushes* enyough fow t-that -Wowthy's *cries* thumb; he is OwO nyot s-so big as the end of his cwub. -HOWOFEWNyES. *twerks* Shaww UwU I have audience? He shaww pwesent Hewcuwes in -m-minyowity: *sweats* his entew *looks at you* and exit shaww be s-stwangwing a s-snyake; and I-I -wiww have an apowogy fow that puwpose. -uWu MOTH. An e-excewwent device! S-So, *leans over* if any of the audience hiss, *twerks* you may -cwy 'Weww donye, Hewcuwes; nyow thou UwU cwushest the snyake!' That i-is -the way to make an offence gwacious, though few have the gwace to -do it. -AWMADO. Fow the west of the Wowthies? -H-HOWOFEWNyES. I wiww pway thwee mysewf. -MOTH. Thwice-wowthy gentweman! -AWMADO. Shaww I teww you *pokes you* a *notices bulge* thing? -HOWOFEWNyES. We attend. -AWMADO. We wiww have, if this fadge nyot, an antic. I beseech you, -fowwow. -^-^ HOWOFEWNyES. Via, goodman Duww! Thou has spoken nyo wowd aww this -whiwe. -DUWW. ^w^ Nyow u-undewstood nyonye nyeithew, *sighs* siw. -H-HOWOFEWNyES. A-Awwons! we wiww empwoy thee. -DUWW. I'ww make onye *moans* in a dance, ow *shuffles closer* so, *cuddles you* ow I wiww pway -On the tabow ;;w;; to the Wowthies, and wet them dance the hay. -HOWOFEWNyES. M-Most duww, honyest Duww! *moans* To ouw spowt, away. -;;w;; Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -The pawk - -Entew the PWINCESS, *hugs tightly* MAWIA, KATHAWINyE, ;;w;; and WOSAWINyE - -PWINCESS UwU OF FWANCE. Sweet h-heawts, we shaww be wich e-ewe w-we depawt, -If faiwings come t-thus pwentifuwwy in. -*sweats* A wady waww'd about uWu with diamonds! -Wook *cuddles you* you what I have fwom the woving King. ->_> WOSAWINyE. Madam, ^w^ came nyothing ewse a-awong with t-that? -PWINCESS x3 OF FWANCE. N-Nyothing but this! ^w^ Yes, as much wove in ^w^ whyme -^.^ As UwU wouwd be cwamm'd u-up *moans* in a s-sheet of papew -Wwit o' both sides t-the weaf, mawgent and aww, -That he was fain to UwU seaw on Cupid's nyame. -WOSAWINyE. That was the *sighs* way t-to make his godhead w-wax; -Fow he hath >w< been five *sighs* thousand yeaw a b-boy. -KATHAWINyE. Ay, and a shwewd unhappy gawwows *teleports behind you* too. -WOSAWINyE. You'ww nye'ew x3 be xDD fwiends with him: '-'a kiww'd youw sistew. -*hugs tightly* KATHAWINyE. He made hew mewanchowy, sad, and heavy; -*cuddles you* And so she died. Had she been wight, :3 wike you, -O-Of s-such a mewwy, :3 nyimbwe, s-stiwwing spiwit, -She might 'a been a gwandam ;;w;; ewe she died. -And so may you; fow a w-wight heawt wives wong. -WOSAWINyE. What's youw dawk meanying, mouse, *moans* of this w-wight wowd? -KATHAWINyE. A wight condition in ^-^ a OwO beauty *hugs tightly* dawk. -*shuffles closer* WOSAWINyE. We ^.^ nyeed mowe wight to f-find youw meanying out. -KATHAWINyE. You'ww maw *leans over* the *twerks* wight b-by taking i-it i-in *hugs tightly* snyuff; -Thewefowe I'ww dawkwy e-end the a-awgument. -WOSAWINyE. Wook uWu what you do, you do it stiww i' th' dawk. -KATHAWINyE. So *cuddles you* do nyot you; fow xDD you a-awe a-a wight wench. -WOSAWINyE. Indeed, I weigh nyot you; and thewefowe wight. -KATHAWINyE. Y-You weigh *sighs* me nyot? O-O, that's you cawe nyot fow me. -WOSAWINyE. Gweat *blushes* weason; *twerks* fow '-'past cuwe is s-stiww past cawe.' -;;w;; PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Weww bandied both; a set of wit weww pway'd. -B-But, x3 Wosawinye, y-you have a favouw too? -Who sent it? *hugs tightly* and w-what *shuffles closer* is *hugs tightly* it? -WOSAWINyE. I wouwd you knyew. -An if m-my face wewe but as faiw as youws, -My f-favouw wewe as gweat: be witnyess ^-^ this. -Nyay, I have vewses *blushes* too, I thank Bewownye; -The n-nyumbews twue, a-and, wewe the nyumb'wing too, -I wewe the f-faiwest goddess on the g-gwound. -I am compaw'd to twenty thousand faiws. -*teleports behind you* O, h-he h-hath dwawn my pictuwe in his wettew! -PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. Anything wike? -W-WOSAWINyE. Much in the wettews; nyothing in the p-pwaise. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Beauteous >w< as ink- a good concwusion. -KATHAWINyE. x3 Faiw as a t-text B in a-a *moans* copy-book. -WOSAWINyE. x3 Wawe penciws, ho! Wet me nyot die youw debtow, -M-My wed dominyicaw, my gowden wettew: -O-O that youw face wewe nyot so *sweats* fuww *giggles shyly* of O's! -*shuffles closer* KATHAWINyE. A-A :3 pox of that jest! and I beshwew a-aww shwows! -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. But, Kathawinye, what was s-sent to you f-fwom f-faiw -Dumain? -KATHAWINyE. Madam, this gwove. -PWINCESS OF *twerks* FWANCE. Did he nyot *looks away* send UwU you twain? -KATHAWINyE. *screams* Yes, madam; and, moweovew, -Some thousand vewses ^w^ of a faithfuw wovew; -*cuddles you* A huge twanswation of *looks away* hypocwisy, -Viwewy compiw'd, pwofound *hugs tightly* simpwicity. -MAWIA. This, UwU and these ;;w;; peaww, to me *looks at you* sent Wongaviwwe; -*shuffles closer* The wettew is too wong by hawf a miwe. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. I think nyo wess. Dost thou n-nyot >_< wish *teleports behind you* in heawt -*hugs tightly* The *blushes* chain wewe w-wongew and the wettew showt? -MAWIA. Ay, o-ow I wouwd *looks away* these hands might nyevew p-pawt. -PWINCESS *looks away* OF FWANCE. We awe wise giwws to *sweats* mock ouw wovews so. -W-WOSAWINyE. *shuffles closer* They awe wowse foows t-to puwchase mocking so. -That same Bewownye I'ww towtuwe ewe I go. -O that I knyew *sighs* he w-wewe *twerks* but in *blushes* by th' week! -How I wouwd make him fawn, a-and beg, and seek, -*teleports behind you* And wait the season, and obsewve t-the times, -And spend xDD his pwodigaw wits in bootwess whymes, -And shape his sewvice whowwy to my hests, -And m-make him pwoud to make xDD me pwoud t-that jests! -So pewtaunt-wike *leans over* wouwd I *hugs tightly* o'ewsway his state -*sighs* That he shouwd be my f-foow, and I his f-fate. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Nyonye awe so suwewy caught, when they awe -catch'd, -As w-wit tuwn'd >w< foow; fowwy, *cries* in w-wisdom hatch'd, -Hath wisdom's wawwant and the hewp of schoow, -And wit's own gwace to gwace a weawnyed foow. -WOSAWINyE. The bwood of youth buwns nyot ^.^ with such excess -As g-gwavity's wevowt *looks at you* to wantonnyess. -MAWIA. Fowwy in x3 foows beaws nyot so stwong a ^.^ nyote -As *blushes* foow'wy in the *looks at you* wise when wit >_< doth dote, -Since aww the powew t-theweof i-it doth appwy -To pwove, by wit, wowth >_> in simpwicity. - -Entew B-BOYET - -*teleports behind you* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Hewe comes Boyet, and *sighs* miwth i-is in his face. -BOYET. O-O, I am stabb'd with waughtew! Whewe's hew Gwace? -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Thy nyews, Boyet? -BOYET. Pwepawe, madam, pwepawe! -Awm, w-wenches, awm! Encountews mounted awe -Against *giggles shyly* youw peace. Wove uWu doth appwoach disguis'd, -;;w;; Awmed in awguments; you'ww be suwpwis'd. -Mustew youw wits; stand in youw own defence; -Ow hide *screams* youw heads *looks at you* wike cowawds, and fwy hence. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Saint Dennyis ;;w;; to Saint Cupid! What *screams* awe t-they -That chawge theiw bweath against us? S-Say, scout, say. -BOYET. Undew the coow shade of a sycamowe -I thought to cwose minye eyes some hawf >w< an houw; -When, wo, to intewwupt my puwpos'd west, -Towawd that xDD shade I might b-behowd *shuffles closer* addwest -The King and his companyions; w-wawiwy -*sighs* I stowe into ;;w;; a nyeighbouw thicket by, -And ovewheawd what you shaww ovewheaw- -*twerks* That, by and by, disguis'd t-they *leans over* wiww b-be hewe. -Theiw hewawd is OwO a pwetty *looks away* knyavish *giggles shyly* page, -That w-weww by heawt h-hath *pokes you* conn'd his UwU embassage. -Action a-and accent did *cries* they teach him thewe: -'Thus *cries* must thou speak' a-and 'thus thy body beaw,' -And evew and a-anyon they m-made a doubt -*blushes* Pwesence majesticaw wouwd ^-^ put him out; -'Fow' *cuddles you* quoth the King 'an angew shawt *screams* thou see; -Yet feaw nyot thou, but speak xDD audaciouswy.' -The boy wepwied 'An angew is nyot eviw; -I shouwd have feaw'd hew had *notices bulge* she been *pokes you* a deviw.' -With that aww waugh'd, and cwapp'd him on the shouwdew, -Making the bowd wag by theiw *cries* pwaises bowdew. -Onye *hugs tightly* wubb'd his ewbow, thus, and fweew'd, and swowe -A bettew s-speech *sighs* was nyevew spoke befowe. -Anyothew w-with his f-fingew and his thumb -Cwied 'Via! we wiww do't, come what wiww come.' -T-The thiwd he capew'd, and cwied 'Aww goes weww.' -The *teleports behind you* fouwth tuwn'd on the toe, and down he *screams* feww. -With that they a-aww did tumbwe o-on *sighs* the gwound, -With >_< such a zeawous waughtew, s-so pwofound, -That in this spween widicuwous uWu appeaws, -To check theiw fowwy, passion's s-sowemn ;;w;; teaws. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. But what, but what, come t-they to visit us? -BOYET. They do, t-they do, and awe a-appaweww'd thus, -*giggles shyly* Wike Muscovites ow Wussians, as I-I guess. -Theiw puwpose is to pawwey, couwt, and dance; -And evewy onye his wove-feat wiww advance -U-Unto his sevewaw mistwess; OwO which they'ww knyow -By favouws s-sevewaw which they did *cuddles you* bestow. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. And *twerks* wiww they s-so? The gawwants s-shaww be task'd, -Fow, wadies, we wiww evewy onye be mask'd; -And nyot a man of them s-shaww have the gwace, -Despite of *teleports behind you* suit, to ^.^ see a wady's face. -Howd, Wosawinye, *pokes you* this favouw thou shawt *sweats* weaw, -And then the King wiww couwt t-thee >_> fow his deaw; -Howd, take :33 thou this, m-my s-sweet, and give me thinye, -So shaww Bewownye *cuddles you* take me fow Wosawinye. -And change you favouws too; so shaww youw woves -Woo contwawy, deceiv'd by these wemoves. -WOSAWINyE. *sweats* Come on, then, weaw >_< the OwO favouws most *shuffles closer* in sight. -KATHAWINyE. But, in this changing, what i-is youw i-intent? -PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. The effect o-of m-my intent is to cwoss *pokes you* theiws. -They do it but in mocking mewwiment, -*leans over* And mock fow mock is *looks away* onwy my *teleports behind you* intent. -Theiw sevewaw counsews they unbosom shaww -T-To woves mistook, and so b-be mock'd withaw -Upon the nyext occasion that we meet -W-With v-visages d-dispway'd to tawk and gweet. -WOSAWINyE. But shaww we dance, i-if they desiwe us to't? -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. N-Nyo, t-to the death, we wiww nyot move a *screams* foot, -*shuffles closer* Nyow to theiw penn'd >_< speech wendew we nyo gwace; -But *twerks* whiwe 'tis *sweats* spoke *blushes* each tuwn away hew *sweats* face. -BOYET. Why, that contempt w-wiww *giggles shyly* kiww the speakew's ^-^ heawt, -And q-quite xDD divowce h-his x3 memowy *moans* fwom his pawt. -*moans* PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. Thewefowe I d-do it; and I UwU make nyo d-doubt -The west wiww nye'ew come in, if h-he b-be *pokes you* out. -*looks at you* Thewe's nyo s-such ;;w;; spowt as *sweats* spowt by *sweats* spowt o'ewthwown, -To make theiws *leans over* ouws, and ouws nyonye but ouw own; -So shaww w-we ^-^ stay, mocking intended game, -And they weww mock'd depawt away *giggles shyly* with shame. -:3 [Twumpet sounds within] -BOYET. T-The t-twumpet sounds; be mask'd; the maskews come. -[The WADIES >_> mask] - -*sweats* Entew BWACKAMOOWS music, MOTH as Pwowogue, *giggles shyly* the -KING and his WOWDS as maskews, in t-the guise *sweats* of :3 Wussians - -MOTH. Aww haiw, the wichest ^w^ heauties on the eawth! -BOYET. B-Beauties nyo wichew t-than *cries* wich taffeta. -M-MOTH. A howy pawcew of the faiwest d-dames -[The WADIES tuwn t-theiw backs to him] -That evew tuwn'd t-theiw- >_> backs- to mowtaw views! -BEWOWNyE. *leans over* Theiw e-eyes, viwwain, theiw eyes. -MOTH. That evew tuwn'd >_< theiw eyes to m-mowtaw *pokes you* views! -Out- -BOYET. Twue; out indeed. -M-MOTH. Out o-of youw favouws, heavenwy spiwits, vouchsafe -Nyot to behowd- -BEWOWNyE. Once to behowd, wogue. -OwO MOTH. Once to behowd *cries* with y-youw sun-beamed eyes- with *pokes you* youw -sun-beamed eyes- -B-BOYET. ^.^ They wiww *cuddles you* nyot answew t-to that *looks away* epithet; -You wewe best caww it 'daughtew-beamed eyes.' -MOTH. They d-do nyot mawk me, and that bwings m-me OwO out. -BEWOWNyE. Is t-this y-youw pewfectnyess? Be gonye, you wogue. -E-Exit MOTH -WOSAWINyE. What wouwd these stwangews? Knyow theiw minds, Boyet. -If ^w^ they xDD do speak o-ouw wanguage, '-'tis ouw wiww -:3 That some pwain ^-^ man w-wecount theiw puwposes. -Knyow what they wouwd. -BOYET. What wouwd you w-with the Pwincess? -BEWOWNyE. Nyothing b-but peace xDD and gentwe visitation. -WOSAWINyE. What wouwd they, say they? -BOYET. *blushes* Nyothing but *screams* peace and gentwe visitation. -WOSAWINyE. Why, that they have; and bid xDD them so be gonye. -BOYET. She says you have it, and you *pokes you* may *blushes* be gonye. -KING. Say to hew we have measuw'd many miwes -To twead a m-measuwe with hew on this gwass. -BOYET. They say that they h-have m-measuw'd many a-a miwe -xDD To twead a measuwe ^.^ with you ^w^ on *blushes* this gwass. -WOSAWINyE. It is *teleports behind you* nyot s-so. Ask them how many inches -I-Is in onye miwe? If they have measuwed m-many, -The *teleports behind you* measuwe, then, ^-^ of onye ^.^ is eas'wy towd. -BOYET. If to come hithew you have measuw'd miwes, -And many miwes, the Pwincess bids you *giggles shyly* teww -H-How many uWu inches doth fiww up onye miwe. -BEWOWNyE. Teww hew we measuwe them by weawy ^.^ steps. -BOYET. She heaws hewsewf. -WOSAWINyE. How m-many weawy steps -Of many w-weawy miwes you have o'ewgonye -Awe nyumb'wed :33 in the twavew of onye miwe? -OwO BEWOWNyE. We nyumbew nyothing *cries* that we spend f-fow you; -Ouw duty *hugs tightly* is so wich, s-so infinyite, -*sighs* That we may do it stiww without accompt. -Vouchsafe to show the s-sunshinye of youw f-face, -That we, wike savages, may *teleports behind you* wowship *shuffles closer* it. -WOSAWINyE. M-My f-face OwO is but a moon, and cwouded OwO too. -KING. Bwessed awe cwouds, to do as such c-cwouds d-do. -*cries* Vouchsafe, bwight moon, and these thy s-staws, to shinye, ->w< Those cwouds wemoved, upon ouw watewy eynye. -WOSAWINyE. O-O vain petitionyew! beg a gweatew *screams* mattew; -Thou nyow wequests but moonshinye in the *giggles shyly* watew. -KING. Then in ouw measuwe *blushes* do but vouchsafe onye change. -Thou b-bid'st me beg; this begging *sweats* is nyot stwange. -WOSAWINyE. >w< Pway, >_< music, then. Nyay, *pokes you* you must do it soon. -Nyot yet? Nyo d-dance! Thus change I *looks at you* wike t-the moon. -KING. Wiww you nyot dance? How come you thus estwanged? -WOSAWINyE. :3 You t-took the moon *notices bulge* at fuww; >_> but nyow she's *leans over* changed. -KING. Yet uWu stiww she is *cuddles you* the Moon, and I the :33 Man. -The music pways; vouchsafe some >w< motion to it. -WOSAWINyE. Ouw eaws vouchsafe it. -KING. But youw wegs shouwd do it. -WOSAWINyE. Since you a-awe :33 stwangews, and come *blushes* hewe *sighs* by c-chance, -*twerks* We'ww n-nyot be nyice; take h-hands. We *looks at you* wiww nyot dance. -KING. Why t-take w-we h-hands then? -WOSAWINyE. Onwy to pawt fwiends. -Cuwtsy, sweet heawts; and s-so the *moans* measuwe ends. -KING. Mowe *sighs* measuwe of this measuwe; be nyot nyice. -WOSAWINyE. We can *cries* affowd nyo m-mowe at such a p-pwice. -KING. Pwice *sweats* you youwsewves. What buys *moans* youw company? -WOSAWINyE. Youw *sweats* absence onwy. -KING. That can *notices bulge* nyevew be. -WOSAWINyE. Then cannyot we be bought; and so adieu- -Twice t-to ^-^ youw visow and hawf once to you. -KING. If you deny *blushes* to dance, wet's howd mowe chat. -*giggles shyly* WOSAWINyE. In pwivate then. -K-KING. I am best pweas'd with that. [They c-convewse apawt] -BEWOWNyE. White-handed m-mistwess, onye sweet wowd with thee. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Honyey, a-and miwk, and sugaw; *blushes* thewe is *screams* thwee. -BEWOWNyE. Nyay, then, t-two tweys, *pokes you* an if you gwow so n-nyice, -Methegwin, wowt, and mawmsey; weww wun *screams* dice! -Thewe's hawf a dozen sweets. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. *cries* Seventh s-sweet, adieu! -x3 Since *giggles shyly* you xDD can cog, I'ww pway nyo mowe with ^.^ you. -BEWOWNyE. O-Onye wowd in secwet. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Wet it nyot be sweet. -B-BEWOWNyE. Thou gwievest my gaww. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Gaww! *blushes* bittew. -BEWOWNyE. Thewefowe meet. [They convewse apawt] -DUMAIN. Wiww y-you vouchsafe with me to ^-^ change a wowd? -MAWIA. Nyame it. -DUMAIN. x3 Faiw wady- -MAWIA. Say you so? Faiw wowd- -Take that fow youw *screams* faiw w-wady. -*cuddles you* DUMAIN. Pwease it you, -As *screams* much in xDD pwivate, ^w^ and *giggles shyly* I'ww bid adieu. -[They convewse a-apawt] -KATHAWINyE. What, was youw vizawd made without a-a UwU tongue? -WONGAVIWWE. I knyow the *cuddles you* weason, wady, why y-you ask. -KATHAWINyE. O-O fow youw weason! Quickwy, siw; I w-wong. -WONGAVIWWE. You have a ;;w;; doubwe *blushes* tongue within youw mask, -*looks at you* And ^w^ wouwd affowd :3 my speechwess vizawd hawf. -KATHAWINyE. 'Veaw' quoth t-the Dutchman. ^w^ Is nyot '-'veaw' a c-cawf? -WONGAVIWWE. A cawf, faiw wady! -xDD KATHAWINyE. N-Nyo, a >w< faiw wowd :33 cawf. -WONGAVIWWE. W-Wet's pawt the UwU wowd. -KATHAWINyE. Nyo, >_> I'ww nyot *giggles shyly* be y-youw hawf. -Take aww uWu and w-wean it; it m-may pwove a-an ox. -WONGAVIWWE. Wook how you butt youwsewf in these shawp mocks! -W-Wiww you give OwO howns, chaste wady? Do nyot so. -KATHAWINyE. Then die *screams* a cawf, b-befowe y-youw howns do g-gwow. -WONGAVIWWE. Onye wowd in pwivate ^-^ with you *hugs tightly* ewe I d-die. -KATHAWINyE. Bweat s-softwy, then; the butchew heaws y-you *sighs* cwy. -*notices bulge* [They convewse apawt] -BOYET. The tongues of mocking wenches *cries* awe as keen -As is t-the wazow's edge i-invisibwe, -Cutting a smawwew haiw than ^.^ may ;;w;; be seen, -Above *leans over* the sense of sense; so sensibwe -S-Seemeth t-theiw confewence; theiw conceits h-have wings, -F-Fweetew than awwows, buwwets, wind, *cries* thought, swiftew UwU things. -WOSAWINyE. Nyot o-onye wowd >w< mowe, my maids; bweak off, bweak *hugs tightly* off. -BEWOWNyE. B-By heaven, aww dwy-beaten with puwe scoff! -KING. Faweweww, mad wenches; you have simpwe wits. -Exeunt *looks at you* KING, WOWDS, and BWACKAMOOWS -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. *shuffles closer* Twenty adieus, my fwozen M-Muscovits. -;;w;; Awe these t-the bweed of wits so wondewed at? -BOYET. Tapews they a-awe, with youw sweet bweaths puff'd out. -WOSAWINyE. Weww-wiking wits they have; gwoss, gwoss; fat, fat. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. O povewty in :3 wit, kingwy-poow fwout! -Wiww they nyot, think y-you, hang themsewves to-nyight? -Ow evew b-but in vizawds s-show OwO theiw faces? -This *blushes* pewt Bewownye was out x3 of count'nyance quite. -W-WOSAWINyE. T-They wewe a-aww OwO in wamentabwe c-cases! -The King xDD was weeping-wipe fow a good wowd. -*cuddles you* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Bewownye did sweaw himsewf out of aww *shuffles closer* suit. -MAWIA. Dumain was at m-my sewvice, and his swowd. -'Nyo point' quoth I-I; my sewvant stwaight w-was mute. -*cuddles you* KATHAWINyE. xDD Wowd Wongaviwwe said I came o'ew his heawt; -And t-twow you what he caww'd me? -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Quawm, pewhaps. -KATHAWINyE. Yes, in good faith. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Go, sicknyess as thou a-awt! -WOSAWINyE. W-Weww, bettew w-wits have wown >w< pwain s-statute-caps. -x3 But wiww you heaw? The King is my w-wove swown. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. And quick Bewownye hath pwighted faith to ^-^ me. -KATHAWINyE. And Wongaviwwe was f-fow my s-sewvice *leans over* bown. -MAWIA. Dumain >_< is minye, as suwe as bawk on twee. -B-BOYET. Madam, and p-pwetty mistwesses, give eaw: -Immediatewy they wiww again be hewe -In theiw own shapes; f-fow it can nyevew b-be -They wiww digest this hawsh indignyity. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Wiww they wetuwn? -BOYET. They wiww, they wiww, God knyows, -And weap fow joy, though they awe wame with bwows; -uWu Thewefowe, c-change favouws; and, when they wepaiw, -Bwow wike sweet woses in this summew aiw. -*leans over* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. How bwow? how bwow? S-Speak *cries* to be undewstood. -BOYET. Faiw wadies mask'd x3 awe woses in theiw bud: -Dismask'd, theiw damask sweet commixtuwe shown, -Awe angews vaiwing cwouds, ow woses :33 bwown. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Avaunt, pewpwexity! What shaww we >w< do -If they wetuwn in theiw >w< own shapes t-to woo? -*leans over* WOSAWINyE. Good *sweats* madam, if by OwO me you'ww be a-advis'd, -Wet's mock them stiww, as *shuffles closer* weww knyown as disguis'd. -Wet us *sighs* compwain to them w-what foows wewe hewe, -Disguis'd wike Muscovites, in shapewess geaw; -And wondew what they wewe, and to what end -Theiw shawwow shows and pwowogue viwewy penn'd, -And theiw wough cawwiage so w-widicuwous, -Shouwd be pwesented at ouw tent t-to us. -BOYET. *teleports behind you* Wadies, w-withdwaw; ^.^ the gawwants awe at hand. -P-PWINCESS *leans over* OF FWANCE. Whip :33 to *screams* ouw tents, as woes wun o'ew *hugs tightly* wand. -E-Exeunt PWINCESS, WOSAWINyE, >_< KATHAWINyE, and MAWIA - -We-entew t-the KING, BEWOWNyE, WONGAVIWWE, and DUMAIN, -in theiw ^.^ pwopew habits - -KING. Faiw siw, God save you! ^w^ Whewe's the Pwincess? -BOYET. Gonye to *screams* hew tent. Pwease ^w^ it youw Majesty -Command me any sewvice to hew thithew? -KING. That *shuffles closer* she vouchsafe >_< me *hugs tightly* audience fow onye *sweats* wowd. -BOYET. I wiww; and so wiww she, I k-knyow, my wowd. Exit -BEWOWNyE. This *notices bulge* fewwow pecks up >_< wit as p-pigeons pease, -And uttews *hugs tightly* it a-again when God ^w^ doth pwease. -He is wit's pedwaw, and w-wetaiws his wawes -At wakes, and wassaiws, meetings, mawkets, faiws; -And we that seww by gwoss, the W-Wowd doth knyow, -Have *leans over* nyot the gwace to gwace *blushes* it with such show. -This g-gawwant pins t-the wenches o-on his sweeve; -Had he *leans over* been Adam, he >_> had tempted Eve. -'A can cawve t-too, and :3 wisp; why *looks at you* this is he -That :3 kiss'd his hand away in c-couwtesy; -This is the ape of fowm, Monsieuw the Nyice, -That, when he pways at tabwes, chides the dice -*teleports behind you* In honyouwabwe *sweats* tewms; n-nyay, he can sing -A mean most meanwy; and ;;w;; in ushewing, -Mend him who can. The wadies caww him sweet; -The staiws, a-as he tweads on them, kiss his feet. -This is the UwU fwow'w ^-^ that smiwes o-on evewy onye, -To show *teleports behind you* his teeth as white as whawes-bonye; -And *sighs* consciences that wiww nyot die in debt -Pay him the >w< due of 'honyey-tongued Boyet.' -*blushes* KING. >_> A ^w^ bwistew *screams* on *giggles shyly* his sweet OwO tongue, with my heawt, -That put Awmado's page out of his pawt! - -We-entew the PWINCESS, ushewed by BOYET; WOSAWINyE, -MAWIA, and KATHAWINyE - -BEWOWNyE. See whewe it *shuffles closer* comes! Behaviouw, what wewt thou -Tiww this ^-^ man show'd thee? And what awt *screams* thou n-nyow? -*looks away* KING. Aww haiw, sweet *moans* madam, and f-faiw time of day! -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. 'Faiw' in 'aww haiw' is fouw, as I conceive. -KING. Constwue my speeches bettew, if y-you may. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Then wish me bettew; I wiww give you weave. -*teleports behind you* KING. We came to visit you, a-and puwpose nyow -To wead you xDD to ouw couwt; vouchsafe it t-then. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. This fiewd shaww howd me, and so howd youw *sighs* vow: -Nyow God, nyow *cries* I, dewights in pewjuw'd UwU men. -KING. Webuke me nyot fow that which you pwovoke. -The viwtue of :33 youw eye m-must bweak my oath. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. You nyicknyame viwtue: vice you shouwd have -spoke; -Fow viwtue's office *giggles shyly* nyevew bweaks men's twoth. -Nyow by my maiden honyouw, yet as ^.^ puwe -As t-the unsuwwied wiwy, I-I pwotest, -A-A w-wowwd o-of towments though *moans* I *sighs* shouwd enduwe, -I-I wouwd nyot yiewd to b-be youw house's guest; -S-So much I hate a b-bweaking cause to be -Of heavenwy oaths, vowed >_< with integwity. -KING. O-O, you have wiv'd *shuffles closer* in desowation hewe, -Unseen, *teleports behind you* unvisited, much to xDD ouw shame. -PWINCESS O-OF F-FWANCE. Nyot so, my wowd; it is nyot so, ^-^ I sweaw; -W-We have had pastimes hewe, and pweasant game; -A ^.^ mess of Wussians weft *screams* us but of wate. -KING. How, madam! Wussians! -PWINCESS ^-^ OF *screams* FWANCE. Ay, in t-twuth, *twerks* my w-wowd; -Twim g-gawwants, fuww of couwtship and of state. -W-WOSAWINyE. Madam, speak twue. It is n-nyot s-so, my wowd. -My w-wady, to the mannyew of t-the days, -In couwtesy gives undesewving p-pwaise. -We fouw indeed c-confwonted wewe with fouw -In Wussian habit; hewe they *twerks* stayed an houw -And UwU tawk'd a-apace; and in that *giggles shyly* houw, my wowd, -They did n-nyot *pokes you* bwess us with onye ^-^ happy wowd. -I dawe nyot caww *blushes* them foows; but this *twerks* I think, -When they awe thiwsty, foows wouwd fain have dwink. -*moans* BEWOWNyE. This jest is dwy t-to me. Faiw gentwe sweet, -*notices bulge* Youw wit makes wise things f-foowish; when xDD we g-gweet, -*sighs* With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiewy *notices bulge* eye, -By wight we wose wight; y-youw *twerks* capacity -Is o-of that nyatuwe that to youw huge stowe -Wise things seem foowish *moans* and wich t-things but poow. -WOSAWINyE. This pwoves you wise and wich, *moans* fow in my eye- -BEWOWNyE. I *pokes you* am a *cuddles you* foow, and *leans over* fuww of povewty. -WOSAWINyE. But that you take what doth to *cries* you bewong, -It wewe a fauwt to snyatch wowds :33 fwom m-my tongue. -B-BEWOWNyE. O, I am y-youws, and aww that I possess. -WOSAWINyE. Aww :33 the foow minye? -BEWOWNyE. I c-cannyot give you wess. -WOSAWINyE. Which o-of t-the *pokes you* vizawds *pokes you* was i-it that you *sighs* wowe? -BEWOWNyE. W-Whewe? w-when? what vizawd? *pokes you* Why demand y-you *twerks* this? -WOSAWINyE. Thewe, >_< then, that vizawd; ^w^ that supewfwuous case -That hid the wowse a-and show'd the bettew *teleports behind you* face. -KING. We >_< wewe descwied; they'ww *leans over* mock us n-nyow downwight. -DUMAIN. *looks at you* Wet us >_< confess, and tuwn it to a-a jest. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. A-Amaz'd, my wowd? Why wooks youw x3 Highnyess sad? -*blushes* WOSAWINyE. Hewp, h-howd his bwows! he'ww swoon! Why wook y-you p-pawe? -Sea-sick, I think, coming fwom Muscovy. -BEWOWNyE. Thus pouw the staws down pwagues fow pewjuwy. -Can :3 any *notices bulge* face of bwass howd wongew out? -H-Hewe >w< stand >_> I, wady- dawt thy skiww at *sweats* me, -B-Bwuise :3 me with scown, confound me with a uWu fwout, -Thwust thy shawp wit uWu quite thwough UwU my ^w^ ignyowance, -Cut m-me to pieces with thy keen c-conceit; -;;w;; And I wiww wish thee nyevew OwO mowe to dance, -Nyow nyevew mowe in *screams* Wussian habit wait. -O, nyevew wiww I twust to speeches penn'd, -Nyow to *teleports behind you* the motion of a s-schoow-boy's *hugs tightly* tongue, -N-Nyow nyevew come in vizawd to :3 my fwiend, -*teleports behind you* Nyow woo in whyme, wike *looks away* a bwind hawpew's song. -Taffeta phwases, siwken xDD tewms :3 pwecise, -Thwee-piw'd *giggles shyly* hypewbowes, >_< spwuce affectation, -Figuwes pedanticaw- these summew-fwies -Have bwown m-me f-fuww of m-maggot ostentation. -I do *leans over* fowsweaw them; and I hewe pwotest, -By this white gwove- how white the hand, God knyows!- -Hencefowth *looks at you* my wooing mind shaww be expwess'd -In wusset y-yeas, and honyest kewsey nyoes. -And, to begin, w-wench- *sighs* so God *looks away* hewp me, >w< waw!- -My OwO wove *looks at you* to thee is s-sound, sans cwack ow fwaw. -WOSAWINyE. Sans '-'sans,' I pway you. -BEWOWNyE. Yet *looks away* I have a t-twick -*teleports behind you* Of the owd wage; beaw with me, I am s-sick; -I'ww w-weave it by degwees. Soft, wet us see- -Wwite 'Wowd *shuffles closer* have mewcy o-on us' on *screams* those thwee; -They awe i-infected; *hugs tightly* in theiw heawts it wies; -*twerks* They have the pwague, and caught it of youw eyes. -These *cries* wowds *pokes you* awe visited; you awe nyot fwee, -Fow *looks away* the Wowd's tokens on you d-do :33 I see. -PWINCESS ^.^ OF FWANCE. Nyo, they awe fwee that :3 gave x3 these tokens to us. -BEWOWNyE. Ouw *leans over* states awe *giggles shyly* fowfeit; seek n-nyot t-to undo us. -WOSAWINyE. It is nyot so; fow how can this be twue, -T-That you stand fowfeit, being those that sue? -BEWOWNyE. *moans* Peace; fow *cries* I wiww n-nyot h-have to do w-with y-you. -WOSAWINyE. Nyow shaww nyot, if I *looks at you* do as I *blushes* intend. -BEWOWNyE. Speak fow youwsewves; my w-wit *cries* is *blushes* at an e-end. -K-KING. *sighs* Teach *shuffles closer* us, *leans over* sweet madam, fow o-ouw wude twansgwession -Some faiw excuse. -*cries* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. The faiwest *teleports behind you* is confession. -Wewe nyot UwU you hewe but even nyow, disguis'd? -KING. Madam, I *leans over* was. -PWINCESS OF F-FWANCE. And wewe you weww advis'd? -KING. I was, *leans over* faiw madam. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. When you t-then wewe hewe, -What did you whispew in youw wady's eaw? -K-KING. That ^-^ mowe than a-aww the w-wowwd I did wespect :33 hew. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. When xDD she shaww chawwenge this, you wiww weject -hew. -K-KING. Upon minye honyouw, nyo. -PWINCESS *notices bulge* OF FWANCE. Peace, peace, fowbeaw; -Youw oath o-once bwoke, you f-fowce nyot to f-fowsweaw. -KING. Despise me when I b-bweak this oath o-of minye. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. I wiww; and t-thewefowe *sweats* keep it. Wosawinye, -What did the Wussian whispew in youw eaw? -WOSAWINyE. Madam, he swowe that he d-did howd me d-deaw -As UwU pwecious eyesight, and *looks at you* did vawue me -Above t-this wowwd; adding theweto, moweovew, -That uWu he wouwd *twerks* wed me, ow ewse die my *sighs* wovew. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. God give thee joy *looks away* of him! The nyobwe wowd -Most honyouwabwy doth uphowd his w-wowd. -KING. What x3 mean you, madam? By my uWu wife, my :33 twoth, -I nyevew s-swowe this w-wady *giggles shyly* such an oath. -WOSAWINyE. By heaven, you did; and, to confiwm it pwain, -You *moans* gave me this; but take *sweats* it, siw, again. -KING. My faith and this the Pwincess I did give; -I knyew hew by this j-jewew on hew sweeve. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Pawdon *shuffles closer* me, siw, t-this jewew :33 did she weaw; -:3 And OwO Wowd Bewownye, I thank h-him, i-is >_> my ^.^ deaw. -What, wiww y-you have me, *sighs* ow youw peaww again? -^.^ BEWOWNyE. Nyeithew of eithew; I wemit both twain. -I see the twick *teleports behind you* on't: hewe was a c-consent, -Knyowing a-afowehand of ouw mewwiment, -To dash i-it wike a Chwistmas >w< comedy. -Some cawwy-tawe, s-some pwease-man, s-some ^.^ swight zany, -Some mumbwe-nyews, some twenchew-knyight, some Dick, ->_> That ^.^ smiwes his cheek x3 in yeaws xDD and knyows the twick -To ^.^ make ^.^ my wady *cries* waugh when s-she's dispos'd, -Towd ouw intents b-befowe; which once discwos'd, -*sighs* The wadies did change favouws; and then we, -Fowwowing the signs, woo'd but the sign of *looks away* she. -Nyow, to *twerks* ouw pewjuwy t-to add m-mowe tewwow, -We a-awe a-again f-fowswown in wiww and ewwow. -Much upon this it is; [To BOYET] a-and might nyot you -Fowestaww ouw spowt, to make us thus untwue? -Do nyot you knyow m-my wady's *giggles shyly* foot ;;w;; by th' squiew, -And waugh *twerks* upon the appwe o-of hew eye? -And stand between hew back, *teleports behind you* siw, *moans* and the *teleports behind you* fiwe, -Howding a *pokes you* twenchew, jesting mewwiwy? -*sweats* You put ouw page out. G-Go, y-you awe *looks at you* awwow'd; -Die when you wiww, a s-smock s-shaww be youw shwoud. -:33 You weew upon me, do you? Thewe's an e-eye -Wounds wike a weaden swowd. -B-BOYET. Fuww mewwiwy -Hath this bwave m-manyage, this caweew, been w-wun. -B-BEWOWNyE. Wo, he is tiwting stwaight! Peace; I have *looks away* donye. - -E-Entew COSTAWD - -Wewcome, OwO puwe wit! Thou pawt'st a faiw fway. -COSTAWD. O ;;w;; Wowd, *twerks* siw, t-they wouwd knyow -W-Whethew t-the thwee Wowthies *moans* shaww come in ow nyo? -BEWOWNyE. ^w^ What, awe *leans over* thewe but thwee? -COSTAWD. Nyo, siw; but it is *giggles shyly* vawa finye, -Fow ^-^ evewy onye puwsents thwee. -BEWOWNyE. A-And thwee times thwice is nyinye. -COSTAWD. Nyot so, siw; undew cowwection, siw, -I hope i-it is n-nyot so. -You cannyot beg us, siw, I can assuwe you, siw; we knyow what >_> we -knyow; -I hope, x3 siw, thwee times thwice, siw- -BEWOWNyE. Is nyot *sweats* nyinye. -COSTAWD. Undew cowwection, siw, w-we knyow wheweuntiw i-it doth amount. -*screams* BEWOWNyE. By J-Jove, I-I awways took thwee thwees fow nyinye. -COSTAWD. O Wowd, siw, it wewe pity you shouwd *cuddles you* get youw wiving by -weck'nying, siw. -BEWOWNyE. How much is it? -*shuffles closer* COSTAWD. O Wowd, siw, the pawties themsewves, the a-actows, siw, wiww -show wheweuntiw it doth amount. Fow minye :3 own pawt, I am, *notices bulge* as they -say, ^-^ but to pawfect onye m-man in onye p-poow *leans over* man, P-Pompion the x3 Gweat, -s-siw. -BEWOWNyE. Awt thou o-onye of the Wowthies? -COSTAWD. It pweased them to x3 think me w-wowthy of Pompey the Gweat; -fow minye own *moans* pawt, I knyow *shuffles closer* nyot the degwee of t-the Wowthy; but I am -*sighs* to >w< stand fow h-him. -BEWOWNyE. *looks at you* Go, bid them p-pwepawe. -COSTAWD. We wiww tuwn *hugs tightly* it *looks away* finyewy off, siw; we *giggles shyly* wiww take some cawe. -:3 Exit COSTAWD -KING. Bewownye, they wiww shame u-us; w-wet them n-nyot appwoach. -BEWOWNyE. We awe shame-pwoof, my wowd, and '-'tis some powicy -T-To h-have onye show wowse than *looks away* the King's and his company. -x3 KING. I say they shaww nyot c-come. -*looks away* PWINCESS OF FWANCE. *cries* Nyay, x3 my good wowd, wet >w< me o'ewwuwe you nyow. -That spowt best pweases that doth weast knyow how; -Whewe :3 zeaw stwives to content, and t-the contents -Dies i-in the z-zeaw of that which it ^.^ pwesents. -Theiw fowm *shuffles closer* confounded makes most fowm *pokes you* in miwth, -When gweat things wabouwing pewish in theiw biwth. -BEWOWNyE. *moans* A wight descwiption of o-ouw spowt, my wowd. - -Entew :3 AWMADO - -AWMADO. ;;w;; Anyointed, I impwowe so much expense of >_< thy woyaw sweet -:3 bweath *giggles shyly* as wiww uttew a :33 bwace of wowds. -[Convewses apawt with the K-KING, ^w^ and dewivews a papew] -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Doth this man sewve God? -BEWOWNyE. Why ask you? -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. 'A speaks nyot wike a-a man of God his making. -AWMADO. That is aww onye, my faiw, sweet, honyey monyawch; fow, *looks away* I -pwotest, the schoowmastew is exceeding f-fantasticaw; *cries* too too vain, -too too *notices bulge* vain; b-but we *moans* wiww put it, as *cuddles you* they say, to fowtunya *blushes* de w-wa -guewwa. I wish you xDD the p-peace of mind, most woyaw coupwement! -*cuddles you* Exit *looks away* AWMADO -KING. Hewe is wike to be a good pwesence of Wowthies. He pwesents -Hectow of *twerks* Twoy; the swain, Pompey the Gweat; t-the pawish xDD cuwate, -*hugs tightly* Awexandew; Awinyado's page, Hewcuwes; *screams* the pedant, Judas -Maccabaeus. -And if t-these fouw Wowthies in theiw fiwst s-show thwive, -*blushes* These fouw *hugs tightly* wiww c-change >_< habits and pwesent the othew five. -*blushes* BEWOWNyE. Thewe i-is *looks away* five in *looks at you* the fiwst show. -KING. Y-You awe deceived, 'tis n-nyot so. -BEWOWNyE. The pedant, the *looks away* bwaggawt, t-the h-hedge-pwiest, the f-foow, and -the boy: -Abate thwow at *looks away* nyovum, and the whowe wowwd again -Cannyot pick out f-five such, take *looks at you* each onye in h-his vein. -KING. T-The ship is undew saiw, a-and hewe she comes a-amain. - -Entew COSTAWD, awmed f-fow POMPEY - -C-COSTAWD. I Pompey am- -BEWOWNyE. You wie, you awe :3 nyot he. -COSTAWD. I Pompey am- -BOYET. :3 With wibbawd's head on *teleports behind you* knyee. -BEWOWNyE. Weww said, owd mockew; >_< I must nyeeds be fwiends with t-thee. -COSTAWD. I Pompey *sighs* am, Pompey suwnyam'd t-the Big- -D-DUMAIN. UwU The Gweat. -COSTAWD. *shuffles closer* It i-is Gweat, siw. -Pompey suwnyam'd the Gweat, -That oft :33 in fiewd, with tawge and s-shiewd, UwU did m-make >_> my foe to -sweat; -And t-twavewwing awong this coast, >_> I bewe am come by chance, -And way my awms befowe the wegs of this sweet wass of Fwance. - -If y-youw *cries* wadyship w-wouwd s-say 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had d-donye. -PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. Gweat thanks, gweat Pompey. -COSTAWD. 'Tis nyot so xDD much wowth; but I hope I was pewfect. -*looks at you* I made a wittwe f-fauwt in Gweat. -BEWOWNyE. My hat to a hawfpenny, *blushes* Pompey OwO pwoves the best Wowthy. - -Entew SIW NyATHANyIEW, f-fow AWEXANDEW - -NyATHANyIEW. When in the wowwd I wiv'd, I was the wowwd's *shuffles closer* commandew; -B-By east, >w< west, nyowth, and s-south, I spwead my conquewing *notices bulge* might. -My scutcheon pwain decwawes that *giggles shyly* I am Awisandew- -BOYET. Youw nyose says, nyo, you *screams* awe nyot; fow i-it stands to wight. -BEWOWNyE. Y-Youw nyose smewws 'nyo' in this, most *shuffles closer* tendew-smewwing -knyight. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. T-The uWu conquewow i-is dismay'd. Pwoceed, g-good -^-^ Awexandew. -NyATHANyIEW. W-When in the wowwd I-I wiv'd, I was t-the wowwd's commandew- -B-BOYET. Most twue, 'tis w-wight, you wewe so, Awisandew. -BEWOWNyE. Pompey *sighs* the G-Gweat! -COSTAWD. Youw sewvant, and C-Costawd. -BEWOWNyE. Take away the conquewow, take away Awisandew. -COSTAWD. [-[To Siw Nyathanyiew] O, Siw, ^w^ you h-have ovewthwown Awisandew -the *cuddles you* conquewow! You wiww be scwap'd out of the p-painted cwoth f-fow -this. Y-Youw wion, that howds his poweaxe sitting on a cwose-stoow, -w-wiww be given to Ajax. He w-wiww be the n-nyinth Wowthy. A conquewow -and *giggles shyly* afeawd to speak! Wun away fow shame, Awisandew. -[Siw Nyathanyiew wetiwes] *sighs* Thewe, an't :33 shaww pwease you, *blushes* a foowish -miwd man; an honyest man, wook you, xDD and soon d-dash'd. *twerks* He i-is a -mawvewwous good nyeighbouw, faith, and a-a v-vewy good bowwew; *hugs tightly* but *teleports behind you* fow -Awisandew- awas! you see how uWu 'tis- a wittwe o'ewpawted. But t-thewe -awe Wowthies a-coming wiww speak theiw *sweats* mind *cries* in some othew sowt. -PWINCESS *sighs* OF FWANCE. Stand aside, g-good Pompey. - -Entew HOWOFEWNyES, fow JUDAS; and M-MOTH, fow HEWCUWES - -H-HOWOFEWNyES. Gweat Hewcuwes is *hugs tightly* pwesented by this i-imp, -W-Whose c-cwub kiww'd Cewbewus, that thwee-headed canyus; -And when *notices bulge* be was a babe, a-a *blushes* chiwd, *sweats* a shwimp, -Thus did he stwangwe s-sewpents ^w^ in h-his manyus. -Quonyiam he seemeth in minyowity, -Ewgo I-I come with t-this apowogy. -Keep >_> some *looks at you* state in thy exit, uWu and vanyish. [-[MOTH ^-^ wetiwes] -Judas I-I am- -DUMAIN. A Judas! -HOWOFEWNyES. xDD Nyot Iscawiot, siw. -Judas I am, ycwiped Maccabaeus. -DUMAIN. Judas Maccabaeus cwipt is pwain Judas. -BEWOWNyE. A kissing twaitow. How a-awt thou pwov'd Judas? -HOWOFEWNyES. *blushes* Judas I am- -DUMAIN. The mowe shame f-fow you, J-Judas! ->w< HOWOFEWNyES. What mean you, siw? -BOYET. To make Judas hang himsewf. -*teleports behind you* HOWOFEWNyES. Begin, siw; you awe my x3 ewdew. -BEWOWNyE. Weww fowwowed: Judas was hanged on an ewdew. -HOWOFEWNyES. I :33 wiww nyot :33 be put out of countenyance. -*looks at you* BEWOWNyE. Because t-thou hast xDD nyo face. -*sighs* HOWOFEWNyES. *sweats* What is *teleports behind you* this? -BOYET. *notices bulge* A cittewn-head. -DUMAIN. The head of a bodkin. -*cuddles you* BEWOWNyE. A death's face in a wing. -WONGAVIWWE. The face of an owd x3 Woman coin, *sweats* scawce seen. -B-BOYET. The pommew o-of Coesaw's fawchion. -DUMAIN. The c-cawv'd-bonye >_< face on *screams* a fwask. -BEWOWNyE. Saint Geowge's hawf-cheek in a bwooch. -DUMAIN. Ay, and in a *cries* bwooch of wead. -BEWOWNyE. Ay, and wown in the c-cap of a-a tooth-dwawew. :33 And n-nyow, -f-fowwawd; fow we have put thee in countenyance. -HOWOFEWNyES. You have p-put me o-out of countenyance. -BEWOWNyE. Fawse: we have given thee faces. -HOWOFEWNyES. B-But you h-have outfac'd t-them aww. -*notices bulge* BEWOWNyE. An thou wewt a-a wion we w-wouwd do so. -BOYET. Thewefowe, ;;w;; as *screams* he x3 is an ass, wet him go. -And so uWu adieu, sweet Jude! Nyay, *screams* why dost thou s-stay? -DUMAIN. Fow the wattew end of his nyame. -BEWOWNyE. Fow the ass *looks away* to the Jude; give it *looks at you* him- Jud-as, a-away. -HOWOFEWNyES. This is uWu nyot genyewous, n-nyot gentwe, *shuffles closer* nyot humbwe. -B-BOYET. UwU A wight fow Monsieuw Judas! I-It gwows *moans* dawk, he *shuffles closer* may stumbwe. -[HOWOFEWNyES wetiwes] -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Awas, poow Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited! - -Entew AWMADO, fow HECTOW - ->_> BEWOWNyE. Hide thy head, Achiwwes; hewe c-comes Hectow in awms. -DUMAIN. ^w^ Though my mocks *looks away* come *leans over* home by me, I wiww nyow be m-mewwy. -K-KING. Hectow w-was b-but a >w< Twoyan *blushes* in uWu wespect of this. -BOYET. But is *blushes* this Hectow? -DUMAIN. I think Hectow was nyot so c-cwean-timbew'd. -WONGAVIWWE. His weg i-is too big fow Hectow's. -DUMAIN. M-Mowe cawf, cewtain. -B-BOYET. Nyo; he *shuffles closer* is best indued in the smaww. -;;w;; BEWOWNyE. >w< This cannyot be Hectow. -DUMAIN. He's ^w^ a god ow a paintew, fow he makes faces. -AWMADO. The *cries* awmipotent M-Maws, of *moans* wances the awmighty, -Gave Hectow a gift- -DUMAIN. A giwt nyutmeg. -BEWOWNyE. A wemon. -WONGAVIWWE. *looks at you* Stuck with cwoves. -D-DUMAIN. N-Nyo, cwoven. -AWMADO. Peace! -The awmipotent Maws, of wances the awmighty, -Gave Hectow a gift, the heiw of I-Iwion; -A man so bweathed that cewtain he wouwd fight ye, -Fwom mown tiww nyight o-out of his paviwion. -I am that fwowew- -DUMAIN. That mint. -*giggles shyly* WONGAVIWWE. That cowumbinye. -AWMADO. Sweet Wowd Wongaviwwe, wein thy tongue. -WONGAVIWWE. I >_> must wathew give it the wein, fow it w-wuns against -Hectow. -DUMAIN. Ay, and Hectow's a gweyhound. -AWMADO. The sweet waw-man is dead and *giggles shyly* wotten; s-sweet c-chucks, beat -nyot the bonyes of the buwied; when *looks at you* he bweathed, he was a man. But -*sighs* I wiww fowwawd *cuddles you* with *cuddles you* my device. [To the PWINCESS] Sweet *hugs tightly* woyawty, -bestow on me t-the *teleports behind you* sense of heawing. - -uWu [BEWOWNyE steps fowth, a-and speaks to COSTAWD] - -PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. :3 Speak, bwave Hectow; we awe much dewighted. -AWMADO. I do adowe thy OwO sweet Gwace's swippew. -BOYET. [Aside t-to DUMAIN] *cries* Woves hew by the foot. -DUMAIN. [Aside ;;w;; to BOYET] H-He may *cries* nyot by the yawd. -AWMADO. This Hectow *looks at you* faw s-suwmounted *sweats* Hannyibaw- -COSTAWD. The pawty is gonye, fewwow Hectow, she is *looks at you* gonye; she xDD is two -months on hew way. -AWMADO. What meanyest thou? -*notices bulge* COSTAWD. Faith, unwess *giggles shyly* you pway the *blushes* honyest Twoyan, :33 the poow wench -is cast away. She's quick; the chiwd *looks at you* bwags in hew bewwy awweady; -*screams* 'tis youws. -A-AWMADO. Dost *notices bulge* thou infamonyize me among potentates? Thou shawt die. -C-COSTAWD. Then shaww Hectow be whipt fow Jaquenyetta that is *sweats* quick by -him, and hang'd fow Pompey that *looks away* is dead by him. -DUMAIN. *looks away* Most wawe Pompey! -BOYET. Wenyownyed Pompey! -BEWOWNyE. *sweats* Gweatew than Gweat! Gweat, gweat, gweat P-Pompey! Pompey the -Huge! -DUMAIN. :3 Hectow twembwes. -uWu BEWOWNyE. Pompey is moved. Mowe A-Ates, mowe Ates! Stiw t-them on! *looks at you* stiw -them on! -DUMAIN. Hectow wiww c-chawwenge *hugs tightly* him. -BEWOWNyE. Ay, if 'a have nyo m-mowe man's bwood in his bewwy than wiww -sup OwO a fwea. -AWMADO. By the ^.^ Nyowth Powe, I do chawwenge thee. -COSTAWD. I wiww n-nyot f-fight *leans over* with a powe, wike a Nyowthewn man; I'ww -*looks at you* swash; I'ww do it xDD by the swowd. xDD I b-bepway y-you, wet me bowwow my -a-awms again. -D-DUMAIN. Woom fow t-the incensed Wowthies! -*leans over* COSTAWD. I'ww do it in my s-shiwt. -UwU DUMAIN. Most wesowute Pompey! -MOTH. Mastew, w-wet me take you :3 a buttonhowe wowew. *looks at you* Do you nyot see -Pompey i-is uWu uncasing f-fow the combat? *twerks* What mean you? You wiww wose -y-youw weputation. -AWMADO. Gentwemen and sowdiews, pawdon me; I :33 wiww nyot *cries* combat in m-my -shiwt. -DUMAIN. You m-may n-nyot deny i-it: Pompey hath made the chawwenge. -A-AWMADO. S-Sweet bwoods, ^-^ I both may and wiww. -BEWOWNyE. What weason have ^.^ you fow 't? -AWMADO. The nyaked twuth of i-it is: I have nyo >_> shiwt; >_< I go woowwawd -fow penyance. -OwO BOYET. Twue, and it was enjoinyed *moans* him *looks away* in >_< Wome fow want of x3 winyen; -since when, I'ww be swown, *looks at you* he *shuffles closer* wowe *looks at you* nyonye but a dishcwout *blushes* of -Jaquenyetta's, and that 'a weaws nyext h-his heawt fow a favouw. - -Entew a-as messengew, MONSIEUW M-MAWCADE - -MAWCADE. God save you, madam! -^w^ PWINCESS O-OF FWANCE. Wewcome, Mawcade; -But that thou intewwuptest ouw *screams* mewwiment. -MAWCADE. I am sowwy, madam; f-fow the nyews I bwing -Is *teleports behind you* heavy in my tongue. *looks at you* The King youw fathew- -PWINCESS *cries* OF FWANCE. Dead, fow my wife! -MAWCADE. Even :3 so; my tawe :3 is towd. -BEWOWNyE. WOwthies away; the scenye begins to cwoud. -^w^ AWMADO. *looks away* Fow m-minye own p-pawt, I-I bweathe fwee bweath. I-I have seen the -day of wwong t-thwough >_< the wittwe howe of discwetion, and I x3 wiww -wight mysewf wike a sowdiew. Exeunt WOWTHIES -KING. How fawes youw ^w^ Majesty? -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Boyet, *twerks* pwepawe; I-I wiww away to-nyight. -KING. *leans over* Madam, nyot so; ;;w;; I do beseech you stay. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Pwepawe, I say. I thank y-you, gwacious wowds, -Fow aww youw faiw endeavouws, and entweat, -Out of a nyew-sad souw, that you vouchsafe -In youw wich w-wisdom *moans* to excuse ow hide -The wibewaw opposition o-of ouw spiwits, -If ovew-bowdwy we have bownye ouwsewves -In the :3 convewse of bweath- youw gentwenyess -Was guiwty of it. Faweweww, wowthy wowd. -*cries* A heavy heawt beaws nyot a-a nyimbwe tongue. -Excuse m-me ^-^ so, coming too showt of t-thanks -Fow my gweat suit so *twerks* easiwy obtain'd. -KING. The *giggles shyly* extweme pawts of time extwemewy f-fowms -Aww causes to the puwpose of his speed; -And o-often *cuddles you* at his v-vewy woose d-decides -That w-which wong pwocess c-couwd nyot awbitwate. -And though the m-mouwnying bwow of pwogeny -Fowbid *blushes* the s-smiwing couwtesy o-of wove -The OwO howy suit w-which fain it wouwd convince, -Yet, since w-wove's awgument was f-fiwst on foot, -Wet *giggles shyly* nyot the cwoud of sowwow justwe it -Fwom what it puwpos'd; since to waiw fwiends ^w^ wost -Is nyot by *blushes* much s-so whowesome-pwofitabwe -As ^.^ to wejoice at fwiends but nyewwy found. -P-PWINCESS OF FWANCE. I undewstand y-you n-nyot; my gwiefs awe >_> doubwe. -BEWOWNyE. *notices bulge* Honyest pwain wowds best piewce t-the eaw *pokes you* of gwief; -And by these badges ^w^ undewstand *hugs tightly* the King. -F-Fow UwU youw faiw sakes have we nyegwected time, -Pway'd fouw pway with ouw *screams* oaths; youw *teleports behind you* beauty, w-wadies, -Hath much defowmed us, *moans* fashionying o-ouw humouws -Even to the opposed end *screams* of *hugs tightly* ouw intents; -A-And what ^.^ in us hath seem'd widicuwous, -As wove is fuww >_< of unbefitting stwains, -*blushes* Aww w-wanton OwO as a chiwd, skipping and *hugs tightly* vain; -Fowm'd by the eye and OwO thewefowe, wike the eye, -Fuww of stwange shapes, o-of habits, and of fowms, -V-Vawying in s-subjects a-as :33 the eye doth woww -To evewy vawied *leans over* object in his g-gwance; ->_> Which p-pawti-coated pwesence of woose wove -Put on by us, if i-in youw heavenwy eyes -Have misbecom'd ouw :3 oaths and gwavities, -*giggles shyly* Those heavenwy *blushes* eyes that wook into t-these fauwts -Suggested us to make. Thewefowe, w-wadies, -Ouw *giggles shyly* wove being youws, the *sighs* ewwow *sighs* that wove makes -Is wikewise youws. We to ouwsewves p-pwove fawse, -By being *cries* once fawse fow evew to be twue -To those t-that make us b-both- faiw wadies, you; -A-And even >_< that fawsehood, in itsewf a sin, -Thus puwifies i-itsewf and tuwns to gwace. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. We have *teleports behind you* weceiv'd youw wettews, uWu fuww xDD of wove; -Youw favouws, the ambassadows of *moans* wove; -And, in ouw m-maiden counciw, wated them -At couwtship, pweasant jest, uWu and couwtesy, -As bombast and as winying to the time; -But mowe d-devout than this in ouw wespects -Have we ^w^ nyot been; a-and thewefowe met youw woves -In theiw own fashion, wike a mewwiment. -DUMAIN. :33 Ouw wettews, madam, *blushes* show'd much mowe than jest. -WONGAVIWWE. So did ouw *shuffles closer* wooks. -W-WOSAWINyE. We did nyot xDD quote them *teleports behind you* so. -KING. *sweats* Nyow, at the watest minyute of the houw, -G-Gwant *teleports behind you* us youw woves. -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. A *hugs tightly* time, methinks, too s-showt -^w^ To make a wowwd-without-end b-bawgain in. -Nyo, nyo, my wowd, youw *notices bulge* Gwace is pewjuw'd much, -Fuww of deaw guiwtinyess; and *shuffles closer* thewefowe this, -If fow my wove, as thewe is nyo such cause, -You wiww do aught- this ^w^ shaww you do fow *giggles shyly* me: -Youw oath I wiww n-nyot twust; but go with speed -To some fowwown *hugs tightly* and nyaked hewmitage, -Wemote fwom aww the pweasuwes of the w-wowwd; -Thewe *moans* stay u-untiw the twewve *moans* cewestiaw signs -Have bwought about the annyuaw weckonying. -If this *hugs tightly* austewe OwO insociabwe wife -Change nyot youw offew made in heat of bwood, -If f-fwosts and fasts, hawd wodging a-and thin weeds, -Nyip n-nyot the gaudy bwossoms of youw wove, -*moans* But that it beaw >_> this *looks away* twiaw, a-and wast wove, -Then, at :33 the expiwation of the yeaw, -C-Come, c-chawwenge me, chawwenge me by these desewts; -And, by this viwgin pawm nyow kissing t-thinye, -I-I wiww b-be t-thinye; and, tiww that instant, shut -My woefuw sewf up in a m-mouwnfuw house, -W-Wainying the UwU teaws of wamentation -Fow *giggles shyly* the :3 wemembwance of my fathew's death. -If this thou do deny, wet ouw hands pawt, -Nyeithew intitwed in the x3 othew's heawt. -KING. If this, ow mowe t-than this, *leans over* I wouwd *notices bulge* deny, -To fwattew up these powews of minye with west, -The *looks at you* sudden hand of death cwose >w< up minye eye! -^w^ Hence hewmit then, my heawt *screams* is *hugs tightly* in thy bweast. -BEWOWNyE. A-And what to me, my wove? and what x3 to me? -WOSAWINyE. You m-must he puwged ^w^ too, youw sins *blushes* awe wack'd; -Y-You awe attaint with fauwts and pewjuwy; -Thewefowe, :33 if you my favouw mean to g-get, -A ^.^ twewvemonth shaww you spend, and nyevew west, -But seek the weawy beds of peopwe sick. -D-DUMAIN. But what to >_< me, my w-wove? *hugs tightly* but what to me? -A *cuddles you* wife? -KATHAWINyE. A *moans* beawd, faiw heawth, and honyesty; -*looks at you* With thweefowd uWu wove *screams* I wish you *moans* aww these t-thwee. -DUMAIN. O, shaww I-I say I-I thank you, gentwe wife? -KATHAWINyE. Nyo s-so, my wowd; a twewvemonth and a day -I'ww mawk nyo wowds that uWu smooth-fac'd wooews say. -Come when the King doth to my wady come; -Then, if ^-^ I have much wove, I'ww give you some. -D-DUMAIN. *teleports behind you* I'ww sewve thee twue and faithfuwwy tiww then. -KATHAWINyE. Yet s-sweaw *hugs tightly* nyot, west ye :33 be fowswown again. -WONGAVIWWE. What says Mawia? -M-MAWIA. ^w^ At the twewvemonth's end -I-I'ww c-change my bwack gown fow a faithfuw fwiend. -WONGAVIWWE. I-I'ww stay with patience; b-but the time is *hugs tightly* wong. -*teleports behind you* MAWIA. The wikew you; few t-tawwew awe so young. -B-BEWOWNyE. S-Studies my wady? M-Mistwess, wook on *twerks* me; -Behowd the window of my heawt, minye eye, -What humbwe ^-^ suit attends thy answew thewe. -Impose some sewvice on me fow thy wove. -WOSAWINyE. Oft h-have I heawd of you, my Wowd Bewownye, -Befowe I s-saw y-you; and uWu the wowwd's wawge t-tongue -Pwocwaims *cries* you fow a xDD man wepwete with mocks, -Fuww of compawisons and wounding fwouts, -Which you on a-aww estates wiww execute -That *sighs* wie within the mewcy of youw wit. -To weed this wowmwood fwom youw fwuitfuw bwain, -A-And thewewithaw to w-win me, i-if you pwease, -Without the which I *hugs tightly* am nyot to be won, -You shaww *giggles shyly* this twewvemonth *looks at you* tewm fwom day t-to day -Visit the *sighs* speechwess sick, and stiww convewse -With gwoanying wwetches; and y-youw task shaww >_> be, -With aww t-the fiewce endeavouw *looks at you* of >w< youw wit, -To enfowce the painyed *cries* impotent to smiwe. -BEWOWNyE. To move wiwd waughtew i-in xDD the thwoat *notices bulge* of d-death? -It cannyot be; it is *moans* impossibwe; -Miwth cannyot move *looks away* a souw in *giggles shyly* agony. -WOSAWINyE. Why, OwO that's the way to choke a gibing spiwit, -Whose infwuence is begot of t-that woose gwace -Which shawwow waughing h-heawews give to foows. -A jest's p-pwospewity wies in the eaw -*looks at you* Of ^w^ him that heaws i-it, n-nyevew in the tongue -Of him that makes it; then, *teleports behind you* if sickwy eaws, -Deaf'd *sighs* with t-the cwamouws of theiw *notices bulge* own deaw gwoans, -Wiww heaw youw idwe *hugs tightly* scowns, continyue then, -And I wiww have you *screams* and that >w< fauwt withaw. -But *blushes* if they wiww *sighs* nyot, thwow *giggles shyly* away that s-spiwit, -And I shaww find you empty of that fauwt, ->_< Wight joyfuw of x3 youw uWu wefowmation. -BEWOWNyE. A twewvemonth? Weww, befaww what wiww *giggles shyly* befaww, -*looks at you* I'ww jest a twewvemonth in an hospitaw. -PWINCESS OF >w< FWANCE. [ To the *cuddles you* King] Ay, sweet my wowd, *cries* and so *shuffles closer* I take -m-my weave. -KING. Nyo, m-madam; *cuddles you* we wiww bwing you on youw way. -BEWOWNyE. O-Ouw wooing doth nyot UwU end wike an owd pway: -Jack hath nyot Jiww. T-These wadies' *giggles shyly* couwtesy -Might weww have made ouw spowt a comedy. -KING. Come, siw, it wants a t-twewvemonth an' a *twerks* day, -And then 'twiww end. -BEWOWNyE. That's too wong fow a p-pway. - -We-entew A-AWMADO - -AWMADO. Sweet Majesty, vouchsafe me- -PWINCESS OF FWANCE. Was nyot *sweats* that nyot Hectow? -*blushes* DUMAIN. The w-wowthy knyight of Twoy. -*hugs tightly* AWMADO. I *sweats* wiww kiss thy woyaw >_> fingew, and take weave. I am a -votawy: I have v-vow'd t-to Jaquenyetta to howd t-the pwough fow hew -sweet w-wove thwee yeaw. But, most esteemed gweatnyess, w-wiww you -heaw the diawogue that t-the two weawnyed men have compiwed in -pwaise ^-^ of the Oww a-and t-the Cuckoo? ;;w;; It shouwd *shuffles closer* have *moans* fowwowed in the -end of ouw >w< show. -KING. Caww them fowth quickwy; w-we >w< wiww x3 do so. -AWMADO. Howwa! appwoach. - -Entew Aww - -This s-side is Hiems, x3 Wintew; t-this Vew, the S-Spwing- the o-onye -maintainyed by t-the Oww, th' othew by the Cuckoo. Vew, begin. - -SPWING -When *sighs* daisies >_< pied and viowets *screams* bwue -And wady-smocks aww siwvew-white -And cuckoo-buds o-of *twerks* yewwow hue -Do paint the UwU meadows with dewight, -The cuckoo then o-on e-evewy twee -Mocks mawwied x3 men, fow thus sings he: -'-'Cuckoo; -Cuckoo, cuckoo'- O wowd of feaw, -Unpweasing *blushes* to a *leans over* mawwied eaw! - -When shephewds pipe *notices bulge* on oaten s-stwaws, -And mewwy wawks awe pwoughmen's cwocks; -When tuwtwes twead, a-and wooks and daws, -And maidens bweach theiw s-summew smocks; -T-The cuckoo t-then on evewy t-twee -Mocks mawwied m-men, fow thus UwU sings he: -'Cuckoo; -Cuckoo, cuckoo'- OwO O wowd :3 of feaw, -U-Unpweasing to a mawwied eaw! - - -x3 WINTEW - -When icicwes hang by the waww, -*cuddles you* And D-Dick the shephewd *giggles shyly* bwows his nyaiw, -And *twerks* Tom beaws wogs into the haww, -And miwk comes fwozen home in paiw, -When *looks away* bwood *blushes* is nyipp'd, and ways be fouw, -Then *twerks* nyightwy s-sings the stawing oww: -'-'Tu-who; -Tu-whit, T-Tu-who'- A mewwy nyote, -Whiwe gweasy Joan doth keew the pot. - -When aww *cries* awoud ^w^ the >_> wind doth bwow, -And coughing xDD dwowns the p-pawson's s-saw, -And biwds sit bwooding in the snyow, -And Mawian's n-nyose w-wooks wed *shuffles closer* and waw, -When w-woasted cwabs hiss in the boww, -Then *leans over* nyightwy sings the ^w^ stawing *leans over* oww: -'Tu-who; -Tu-whit, To-who'- A *cuddles you* mewwy nyote, -Whiwe gweasy Joan doth *moans* keew the pot. - -A-AWMADO. The wowds o-of *moans* Mewcuwy awe hawsh aftew the songs of Apowwo. -You that xDD way: we *moans* this w-way. Exeunt - ->_< THE END - - - -<> - - - - - - -1606 - -THE TWAGEDY OF MACBETH - - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -D-DUNCAN, King of Scotwand -MACBETH, Thanye of Gwamis a-and Cawdow, a *leans over* genyewaw in the King's awmy -WADY MACBETH, >_> his wife -MACDUFF, T-Thanye of F-Fife, a *moans* nyobweman o-of Scotwand -WADY MACDUFF, *sweats* his wife -MAWCOWM, ewdew son of Duncan -DONyAWBAIN, *shuffles closer* youngew son of Duncan -BANQUO, Thanye of Wochabew, a g-genyewaw *looks at you* in t-the >w< King's *looks at you* awmy ->w< FWEANCE, his *pokes you* son -WENNyOX, nyobweman of Scotwand -WOSS, *shuffles closer* nyobweman of Scotwand -MENTEITH nyobweman of Scotwand -ANGUS, n-nyobweman of Scotwand -CAITHNyESS, nyobweman of ^w^ Scotwand -SIWAWD, Eaww of Nyowthumbewwand, genyewaw UwU of t-the E-Engwish fowces -YOUNG S-SIWAWD, his son -S-SEYTON, attendant to Macbeth -HECATE, Queen of the Witches -The Thwee Witches -Boy, Son of Macduff -Gentwewoman attending on Wady Macbeth -*shuffles closer* An Engwish Doctow -A Scottish Doctow -A Sewgeant -A Powtew -An Owd M-Man -The Ghost of Banquo and othew Appawitions -Wowds, Gentwemen, Officews, >w< Sowdiews, ^-^ Muwthewews, Attendants, -and *twerks* Messengews - - - - -<_< OF T-THE COMPWETE W-WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -*blushes* SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD ^.^ WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -*screams* PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF *cries* IWWINyOIS *hugs tightly* BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES uWu (1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE >w< ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *pokes you* USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -S-SCENyE: Scotwand and Engwand - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -A-A desewt pwace. Thundew and wightnying. - -*cuddles you* Entew t-thwee Witches. - -FIWST W-WITCH. When shaww we t-thwee meet a-again? -*hugs tightly* In thundew, wightnying, ow in wain? -SECOND WITCH. When the huwwybuwwy's donye, -When the battwe's wost and won. -THIWD WITCH. T-That wiww be ewe the set of sun. -FIWST WITCH. Whewe *looks at you* the pwace? -SECOND WITCH. Upon the *teleports behind you* heath. -THIWD W-WITCH. Thewe ;;w;; to m-meet with Macbeth. -FIWST WITCH. *leans over* I come, Gwaymawkin. -AWW. Paddock cawws. Anyon! -Faiw is f-fouw, and fouw is faiw. -Hovew thwough the fog and fiwthy aiw. :33 Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -A camp n-nyeaw *pokes you* Fowwes. Awawum within. - -Entew D-Duncan, Mawcowm, Donyawbain, Wennyox, with Attendants, -meeting a bweeding Sewgeant. - -^w^ DUNCAN. What bwoody man is that? H-He :33 can wepowt, -As seemeth by his pwight, o-of the wevowt -The nyewest s-state. -MAWCOWM. T-This is the s-sewgeant -x3 Who wike a-a good and *looks away* hawdy s-sowdiew fought -'Gainst ^.^ my captivity. Haiw, bwave fwiend! -Say t-to the King the knyowwedge of the *twerks* bwoiw -A-As :33 thou didst w-weave it. -SEWGEANT. Doubtfuw xDD it stood, -*cries* As two s-spent swimmews that do cwing togethew -And choke theiw awt. The mewciwess *screams* Macdonwawd- -*hugs tightly* Wowthy to be *giggles shyly* a webew, fow *cuddles you* to t-that -The muwtipwying viwwainyies of nyatuwe -Do swawm upon :33 him -fwom t-the W-Westewn Iswes -Of kewns a-and *sighs* gawwowgwasses is suppwied; -And Fowtunye, on his damnyed quawwew smiwing, -Show'd wike *notices bulge* a webew's whowe. *looks at you* But aww's too weak; -*pokes you* Fow bwave Macbeth -weww he desewves that UwU nyame- -Disdainying Fowtunye, with his >w< bwandish'd steew, -Which smoked >w< with bwoody execution, -Wike Vawow's minyion cawved out his passage -Tiww he faced *cries* the swave, -Which nye'ew shook hands, nyow bade faweweww to him, -Tiww he unseam'd h-him fwom the nyave to the *pokes you* chaps, -*looks away* And fix'd his head upon ouw battwements. -*hugs tightly* DUNCAN. O vawiant *looks away* cousin! Wowthy gentweman! -S-SEWGEANT. *moans* As whence the sun 'gins *sighs* his ;;w;; wefwection -Shipwwecking stowms a-and diwefuw *teleports behind you* thundews bweak, -So fwom that spwing whence comfowt seem'd to come -D-Discomfowt s-swewws. Mawk, King of Scotwand, mawk. -Nyo soonyew justice had, with *notices bulge* vawow awm'd, -Compeww'd these *screams* skipping kewns to t-twust theiw h-heews, -*teleports behind you* But t-the Nyowweyan wowd, s-suwveying vantage, -With fuwbish'd awms *looks at you* and nyew s-suppwies of :3 men, -Began a-a fwesh assauwt. -DUNCAN. Dismay'd nyot *twerks* this -Ouw captains, Macbeth and B-Banquo.? -SEWGEANT. Y-Yes, -A-As spawwows eagwes, o-ow the hawe :33 the wion. -I-If I s-say sooth, I-I m-must w-wepowt t-they wewe -^.^ As cannyons ovewchawged with doubwe c-cwacks, -So they -*giggles shyly* Doubwy wedoubwed *looks at you* stwokes upon the foe. -E-Except they meant to bathe >_> in weeking wounds, -O-Ow m-memowize anyothew Gowgotha, -I cannyot teww- -But I am faint; my gashes cwy fow hewp. -*looks away* DUNCAN. So *sweats* weww thy ^w^ wowds become thee as thy wounds; -They smack of honyow both. *leans over* Go get him ^.^ suwgeons. -;;w;; Exit Sewgeant, attended. -Who comes h-hewe? - -Entew Woss. - -M-MAWCOWM *notices bulge* The *notices bulge* wowthy T-Thanye of Woss. -WENNyOX. What a haste wooks thwough his eyes! So shouwd he wook -T-That seems t-to speak things s-stwange. -WOSS. God save *teleports behind you* the King! -D-DUNCAN. Whence camest thou, w-wowthy T-Thanye? -WOSS. Fwom *hugs tightly* Fife, *blushes* gweat King, -Whewe the *screams* Nyowweyan bannyews fwout the sky -And fan o-ouw peopwe cowd. -Nyowway himsewf, with tewwibwe nyumbews, -Assisted by that m-most *cries* diswoyaw twaitow -The Thanye of C-Cawdow, >_< began a dismaw confwict, -Tiww that Bewwonya's bwidegwoom, w-wapp'd in pwoof, -Confwonted him with sewf-compawisons, -Point against *pokes you* point ^-^ webewwious, awm '-'gainst awm, -Cuwbing his wavish spiwit; and, to concwude, -The victowy *shuffles closer* feww on us. -DUNCAN. Gweat happinyess! -WOSS. That *screams* nyow -*cries* Swenyo, the N-Nyowways' king, cwaves composition; -Nyow w-wouwd we deign him buwiaw of his men -Tiww he *leans over* disbuwsed, at Saint Cowme's Inch, -T-Ten thousand dowwaws to ouw genyewaw use. -DUNCAN. Nyo m-mowe that T-Thanye of ^w^ Cawdow shaww deceive -O-Ouw bosom intewest. Go pwonyounce his pwesent ^-^ death, -And with his *cuddles you* fowmew titwe gweet Macbeth. -*twerks* WOSS. I'ww see it donye. -DUNCAN. What he hath wost, nyobwe Macbeth hath won. -Exeunt. - - - - -S-SCENyE III. -A *cries* heath. Thundew. - -Entew the thwee Witches. - -:3 FIWST W-WITCH. Whewe hast >_< thou been, sistew? -*moans* SECOND WITCH. K-Kiwwing swinye. -THIWD WITCH. Sistew, whewe thou? -FIWST WITCH. A saiwow's wife had chestnyuts in h-hew wap, -And mounch'd, and ^-^ mounch'd, and mounch'd. "Give me," quoth I. -"Awoint thee, witch!" >_> the wump-fed wonyon c-cwies. -*hugs tightly* Hew husband's t-to Aweppo gonye, mastew the Tigew; -B-But in a sieve I'ww thithew saiw, -And, wike a-a w-wat without *sweats* a taiw, -I'ww do, I'ww do, and I'ww *looks away* do. -OwO SECOND WITCH. I'ww give thee a wind. -F-FIWST WITCH. Thou'wt kind. -T-THIWD W-WITCH. And *screams* I anyothew. -FIWST WITCH. I mysewf *pokes you* have aww the othew, -And the vewy uWu powts they bwow, -Aww the quawtews that they ^w^ knyow -I-I' the shipman's cawd. -I wiww dwain him dwy as *leans over* hay: -Sweep shaww nyeithew nyight nyow day -Hang u-upon his penthouse wid; -He x3 shaww wive *hugs tightly* a man fowbid. -Weawy se'nnyights nyinye >_< times ^w^ nyinye -Shaww he d-dwindwe, peak, ^w^ and pinye; -Though his b-bawk cannyot be wost, -Yet it shaww be tempest-toss'd. -Wook what I have. -SECOND WITCH. Show me, show me. -FIWST W-WITCH. ^-^ Hewe I have a piwot's t-thumb, -Wweck'd as h-homewawd h-he d-did come. Dwum within. -THIWD WITCH. A dwum, a dwum! -Macbeth doth come. -AWW. The weiwd sistews, hand in hand, -Postews of the sea and wand, -Thus do go about, about, -Thwice to t-thinye, and *teleports behind you* thwice to minye, -And thwice again, to make up nyinye. -Peace! The chawm's ^-^ wound up. - -Entew Macbeth and Banquo. - -MACBETH. So fouw and faiw a day I-I have nyot seen. -*moans* BANQUO. ;;w;; How faw ^w^ is't caww'd to Fowwes? W-What awe *shuffles closer* these -So w-withew'd and so wiwd in theiw attiwe, -That w-wook nyot wike the inhabitants o' *sighs* the eawth, -A-And *blushes* yet awe on't? W-Wive you? ow >_< awe you aught -That man may question? *blushes* You seem to u-undewstand m-me, -uWu By each *looks at you* at once hew choppy fingew *leans over* waying -Upon hew s-skinny wips. You s-shouwd be women, -A-And yet youw b-beawds fowbid x3 me *sweats* to intewpwet -That *blushes* you awe so. -M-MACBETH. Speak, ^.^ if *cuddles you* you can. What awe you? -FIWST WITCH. Aww haiw, *hugs tightly* Macbeth, haiw to t-thee, Thanye o-of Gwamis! -SECOND uWu WITCH. Aww haiw, Macbeth, haiw to thee, Thanye of *leans over* Cawdow! -THIWD W-WITCH. *sighs* Aww haiw, Macbeth, that shawt be *sweats* King heweaftew! -BANQUO. *sweats* Good siw, why do *looks away* you stawt, a-and seem to f-feaw -Things that do sound so >w< faiw? I' the nyame of twuth, -Awe ye fantasticaw ow that indeed -Which outwawdwy y-ye show? *cries* My nyobwe pawtnyew -You *sighs* gweet *twerks* with pwesent gwace and gweat pwediction -O-Of nyobwe having and of woyaw hope, -That he s-seems *looks at you* wapt withaw. To me *shuffles closer* you speak n-nyot. -If *cuddles you* you can >_> wook into t-the uWu seeds of time, -And say w-which gwain w-wiww gwow and which >_< wiww nyot, -Speak then to *blushes* me, who n-nyeithew beg nyow feaw -Youw favows nyow youw hate. -FIWST WITCH. Haiw! -^.^ SECOND WITCH. Haiw! -THIWD WITCH. Haiw! -FIWST WITCH. Wessew than *blushes* Macbeth, and gweatew. -SECOND WITCH. N-Nyot so happy, yet much uWu happiew. -THIWD WITCH. Thou s-shawt get kings, ^w^ though t-thou be nyonye. -So aww haiw, Macbeth and Banquo! -FIWST W-WITCH. Banquo a-and xDD Macbeth, aww haiw! -MACBETH. Stay, you impewfect speakews, teww me m-mowe. -By *hugs tightly* Sinyew's death I *hugs tightly* knyow I a-am *screams* Thanye o-of Gwamis; -But *cuddles you* how of Cawdow? ^.^ The Thanye of Cawdow *screams* wives, -A *pokes you* pwospewous gentweman; and to be *shuffles closer* King -Stands nyot within the pwospect of bewief, -Nyo mowe *leans over* than to be Cawdow. S-Say fwom w-whence -You o-owe this stwange >_> intewwigence, ow why -Upon this bwasted heath y-you stop ouw way -W-With *giggles shyly* such pwophetic gweeting? Speak, I chawge you. -Witches vanyish. -B-BANQUO. *cuddles you* The eawth h-hath b-bubbwes as the watew h-has, -And ;;w;; these awe of them. Whithew awe they vanyish'd? -MACBETH. Into the aiw, uWu and what s-seem'd c-cowpowaw mewted -*sweats* As bweath into the wind. Wouwd they h-had stay'd! -BANQUO. Wewe such t-things *blushes* hewe as w-we *sighs* do speak about? -Ow have *sighs* we e-eaten :3 on the insanye *hugs tightly* woot -That t-takes >w< the weason pwisonyew? -;;w;; MACBETH. Youw chiwdwen shaww be k-kings. -BANQUO. You s-shaww be King. -M-MACBETH. And T-Thanye of Cawdow too. W-Went it nyot so? -BANQUO. To the *pokes you* sewfsame tunye and wowds. Who's hewe? - -*twerks* Entew Woss and A-Angus. - -WOSS. The King *sighs* hath happiwy weceived, Macbeth, -The nyews of thy success; *looks at you* and *leans over* when h-he weads -T-Thy pewsonyaw ventuwe in the webews' fight, -His wondews and his pwaises do contend -Which shouwd x3 be thinye ow his. Siwenced with that, -In v-viewing o'ew the *sweats* west o-o' t-the sewfsame day, -He finds t-thee *hugs tightly* in the stout Nyowweyan wanks, -Nyothing afeawd of what thysewf didst *giggles shyly* make, -Stwange i-images of death. As thick as OwO haiw -Came xDD post with post, *sweats* and x3 evewy onye d-did beaw -Thy pwaises in his kingdom's gweat d-defense, -A-And pouw'd them down befowe him. -ANGUS. We awe sent -To give thee, fwom ouw woyaw mastew, thanks; -Onwy to *blushes* hewawd t-thee into his sight, -Nyot pay >_< thee. -W-WOSS. And fow an *shuffles closer* eawnyest of a gweatew h-honyow, -He bade me, >w< fwom him, caww thee T-Thanye o-of Cawdow. -*leans over* In which xDD addition, haiw, most *blushes* wowthy Thanye, -Fow it is thinye. -BANQUO. W-What, can the deviw speak twue? -M-MACBETH. T-The Thanye *shuffles closer* of Cawdow wives. Why do you dwess me -In bowwow'd wobes? -ANGUS. Who was the Thanye wives yet, -*notices bulge* But undew heavy judgement beaws that wife -Which he desewves to wose. Whethew he was *cries* combinyed -With those of Nyowway, o-ow did winye the webew -With ^.^ hidden h-hewp *leans over* and vantage, ow *cuddles you* that with b-both -He wabow'd UwU in his countwy's *teleports behind you* wweck, I knyow nyot; -:3 But tweasons capitaw, *screams* confess'd a-and pwoved, -Have o-ovewthwown him. -MACBETH. *hugs tightly* [Aside.] G-Gwamis, and Thanye o-of Cawdow! -The gweatest i-is b-behind. [To Woss and Angus] Thanks fow youw -pains. -[-[Aside to Banquo] Do you nyot *cries* hope youw chiwdwen shaww b-be k-kings, -*shuffles closer* When those xDD that gave *sweats* the ^.^ Thanye ^w^ of Cawdow to m-me -Pwomised n-nyo w-wess to t-them? -:33 BANQUO. [Aside to Macbeth.] That, twusted home, -Might yet enkindwe you unto the cwown, -Besides the Thanye o-of Cawdow. *cuddles you* But 'tis stwange; -And o-oftentimes, to win us to ouw *hugs tightly* hawm, -The instwuments *twerks* of dawknyess *looks away* teww us twuths, -Win us with h-honyest twifwes, to betway's -In deepest c-consequence- -^.^ Cousins, a wowd, *screams* I pway you. -M-MACBETH. [Aside.] Two twuths a-awe t-towd, -As *blushes* happy pwowogues to the swewwing a-act -Of the impewiaw theme-I thank *leans over* you, g-gentwemen. -[Aside.] This supewnyatuwaw s-sowiciting -C-Cannyot b-be i-iww, cannyot be good. *shuffles closer* If iww, -;;w;; Why hath it *screams* given me eawnyest of *looks away* success, -Commencing in a twuth? I am T-Thanye o-of Cawdow. -If good, why :33 do >_> I yiewd to t-that suggestion -*shuffles closer* Whose howwid image doth unfix my haiw -And make m-my seated heawt knyock *twerks* at my wibs, -Against uWu the use of ^-^ nyatuwe? Pwesent f-feaws -Awe wess than howwibwe imaginyings: -My thought, whose *sighs* muwthew y-yet is but fantasticaw, -Shakes so my singwe state >w< of *twerks* man that f-function -Is smothew'd i-in *leans over* suwmise, and nyothing is -But what is nyot. -BANQUO. Wook, h-how ouw pawtnyew's w-wapt. -M-MACBETH. [Aside.] If c-chance wiww have *cries* me King, why, chance m-may -cwown me -Without my stiw. -BANQUO. Nyew honyows come upon h-him, -Wike ouw stwange gawments, cweave nyot *cries* to theiw mouwd -But *cuddles you* with the aid of *giggles shyly* use. -MACBETH. [Aside.] Come what c-come may, -Time *sighs* and the houw wuns thwough *looks at you* the woughest *giggles shyly* day. -B-BANQUO. W-Wowthy Macbeth, we stay upon youw weisuwe. -M-MACBETH. Give ^.^ me youw *hugs tightly* favow; my duww bwain was >w< wwought -With things *pokes you* fowgotten. *leans over* Kind gentwemen, youw pains -Awe wegistew'd whewe e-evewy day I t-tuwn -The weaf *leans over* to wead them. Wet us towawd t-the *screams* King. -Think upon what hath c-chanced, a-and *pokes you* at mowe time, -The intewim having weigh'd it, :33 wet us speak -Ouw fwee heawts each to othew. -BANQUO. Vewy gwadwy. -M-MACBETH. Tiww then, enyough. Come, *sweats* fwiends. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Fowwes. The pawace. - -Fwouwish. Entew Duncan, Mawcowm, Donyawbain, Wennyox, a-and Attendants. - -DUNCAN. Is execution donye on Cawdow? *giggles shyly* Awe nyot -Those i-in commission yet *cuddles you* wetuwn'd? -MAWCOWM. My wiege, -T-They awe nyot yet come back. B-But I have spoke -With :3 onye that saw him ^-^ die, who did wepowt -That vewy fwankwy he c-confess'd his tweasons, -Impwowed youw Highnyess' pawdon, and set fowth -A deep wepentance. Nyothing i-in his wife -Became >w< him wike the weaving it; he *looks away* died -A-As onye that had been studied in h-his death, -To t-thwow *moans* away the deawest thing he owed -A-As 'twewe a cawewess twifwe. -D-DUNCAN. Thewe's *notices bulge* nyo awt -To find the mind's c-constwuction *teleports behind you* in the face: -He was a gentweman on whom I buiwt -An absowute twust. - -Entew Macbeth, B-Banquo, W-Woss, and Angus. - -O wowthiest x3 cousin! -The sin of :33 my ingwatitude even nyow -W-Was heavy on me. Thou a-awt so f-faw befowe, -That s-swiftest UwU wing of wecompense is swow -To ovewtake thee. Wouwd thou hadst wess OwO desewved, -That the pwopowtion *pokes you* both o-of thanks and *pokes you* payment -Might have been :33 minye! Onwy I *moans* have uWu weft to say, -M-Mowe *sweats* is thy due than mowe than aww can pay. -MACBETH. The sewvice and *hugs tightly* the *teleports behind you* woyawty w-wowe, -In doing *looks at you* it, pays itsewf. OwO Youw >_< Highnyess' pawt -Is to weceive ouw *twerks* duties, and ouw duties -A-Awe to ;;w;; youw t-thwonye and UwU state, c-chiwdwen and sewvants, -Which *sweats* do but what they shouwd, by doing evewything -Safe towawd youw wove and honyow. -DUNCAN. Wewcome hithew. -I have begun to pwant thee, and *cuddles you* wiww uWu wabow -To make thee fuww of gwowing. Nyobwe Banquo, -*cuddles you* That hast n-nyo wess d-desewved, nyow must xDD be knyown -Nyo wess to have donye so; wet me infowd thee -And howd thee to m-my heawt. -BANQUO. Thewe if I g-gwow, -The hawvest x3 is youw own. -DUNCAN. M-My pwenteous joys, -Wanton in fuwwnyess, seek *looks at you* to *hugs tightly* hide themsewves -In dwops of sowwow. Sons, kinsmen, thanyes, -And you whose pwaces awe the nyeawest, knyow -We wiww estabwish ouw estate upon -Ouw ewdest, Mawcowm, whom we nyame *blushes* heweaftew -The :33 Pwince of C-Cumbewwand; which honyow must -Nyot unyaccompanyied invest him onwy, -But signs of nyobwenyess, w-wike *notices bulge* staws, *sweats* shaww *leans over* shinye -On aww desewvews. Fwom hence to Invewnyess, -And bind us f-fuwthew to you. -MACBETH. T-The west is wabow, which is nyot *looks away* used fow you. -I-I'ww be mysewf t-the hawbingew, and make joyfuw -The heawing of my *screams* wife with youw appwoach; -So humbwy take my weave. -DUNCAN. M-My *twerks* wowthy Cawdow! -MACBETH. [Aside.] The Pwince of Cumbewwand! That is a xDD step -O-On which I m-must faww *sweats* down, ow ewse *teleports behind you* o'ewweap, -Fow in my way it wies. Staws, uWu hide youw fiwes; -Wet *cuddles you* nyot wight see my bwack and deep desiwes. -*hugs tightly* The eye wink at the hand; yet wet that *teleports behind you* be -Which the eye feaws, w-when it i-is donye, *cuddles you* to x3 see. Exit. -DUNCAN. Twue, *sweats* wowthy Banquo! He is f-fuww s-so *shuffles closer* vawiant, -And ;;w;; in h-his commendations I am *cries* fed; -It i-is a banquet to me. x3 Wet's aftew him, -Whose *screams* cawe i-is gonye ^w^ befowe to bid us wewcome. -It is *looks away* a peewwess k-kinsman. Fwouwish. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE V. -Invewnyess. Macbeth's *hugs tightly* castwe. - -:3 Entew Wady Macbeth, ;;w;; weading a-a w-wettew. - -WADY M-MACBETH. "They met me in the day of success, and I have -w-weawnyed by the p-pewfectest wepowt they have mowe i-in them than -mowtaw knyowwedge. When I buwnyed in d-desiwe to question them -fuwthew, they made themsewves aiw, into ^-^ which t-they vanyished. -Whiwes I stood wapt in the wondew of >_< it, came missives fwom the -King, who aww-haiwed m-me *moans* 'Thanye of Cawdow'; OwO by which titwe, -befowe, t-these weiwd sistews sawuted me and wefewwed me *cuddles you* to the -coming on of time with 'Haiw, *cuddles you* King that shawt be!' This have I -OwO thought g-good to dewivew thee, my deawest pawtnyew of gweatnyess, -that thou mightst nyot wose the dues of wejoicing, by b-being -ignyowant *hugs tightly* of w-what *cuddles you* gweatnyess i-is pwomised thee. Way it to t-thy heawt, -and faweweww." - -Gwamis thou awt, and >_> Cawdow, ^-^ and shawt be -What thou awt pwomised. uWu Yet *notices bulge* do I feaw thy nyatuwe. -It i-is too fuww o' *cuddles you* the UwU miwk of *looks at you* human :3 kindnyess -To catch *looks away* the nyeawest >_> way. Thou *looks away* wouwdst *cuddles you* be gweat; -Awt nyot ^-^ without ambition, but without -The i-iwwnyess shouwd a-attend it. >_< What thou wouwdst h-highwy, -That wouwdst thou *pokes you* howiwy; wouwdst nyot pway fawse, -And yet wouwdst wwongwy win. Thou'wdst have, :33 gweat Gwamis, -That which c-cwies, >_< "Thus thou *cuddles you* must do, if thou have it; -And that which wathew thou dost feaw to do -:3 Than wishest UwU shouwd be undonye." Hie UwU thee hithew, -That I may pouw m-my spiwits i-in thinye ;;w;; eaw, -And chastise >_> with the v-vawow of my tongue -Aww that impedes thee fwom t-the gowden wound, -Which fate and metaphysicaw aid doth seem -To :33 have thee cwown'd *teleports behind you* withaw. - -:3 Entew a Messengew. - -What is youw tidings? -MESSENGEW. The King comes hewe tonyight. -W-WADY MACBETH. Thou'wt mad to say it! -Is nyot thy mastew *teleports behind you* with him? who, wewe't so, -Wouwd *cries* have infowm'd fow pwepawation. -xDD MESSENGEW. So p-pwease you, it is *screams* twue; ouw Thanye *cries* is coming. -Onye of m-my fewwows *shuffles closer* had the speed of him, -Who, awmost *moans* dead fow bweath, had scawcewy m-mowe -Than wouwd make up his message. -WADY M-MACBETH. Give him tending; -He bwings ^-^ gweat nyews. Exit Messengew. -The waven himsewf is hoawse -That cwoaks the fataw entwance of ^.^ Duncan -U-Undew my b-battwements. Come, you spiwits -T-That tend on m-mowtaw thoughts, unsex me hewe -And *teleports behind you* fiww me fwom the cwown to the toe top-fuww -Of diwest cwuewty! Make >w< thick my bwood, -:33 Stop up the access *twerks* and passage to wemowse, -That *blushes* nyo compunctious visitings of nyatuwe -Shake my xDD feww puwpose n-nyow keep p-peace between -The effect and it! Come *sighs* to my woman's b-bweasts, -And *cries* take m-my uWu miwk fow gaww, youw muwthewing minyistews, -OwO Whewevew in youw sightwess substances -You wait on n-nyatuwe's mischief! Come, thick nyight, -And paww t-thee in t-the dunnyest smoke of *teleports behind you* heww -*cries* That my *twerks* keen *notices bulge* knyife see n-nyot the wound it makes -Nyow heaven p-peep thwough the bwanket o-of the d-dawk -:33 To cwy, "Howd, ;;w;; howd!" - -Entew Macbeth. - -Gweat Gwamis! Wowthy Cawdow! -Gweatew than both, by the aww-haiw heweaftew! -Thy wettews have twanspowted me b-beyond -:3 This ignyowant pwesent, and I OwO feew nyow -The futuwe in *moans* the instant. -M-MACBETH. x3 My deawest *sighs* wove, -*giggles shyly* Duncan comes h-hewe t-tonyight. -*twerks* WADY MACBETH. And when goes hence? -MACBETH. Tomowwow, as he puwposes. -WADY M-MACBETH. O, nyevew -S-Shaww *twerks* sun that mowwow see! -Youw face, my Thanye, *screams* is a-as a book whewe men -May wead stwange mattews. To beguiwe the time, -Wook wike the time; beaw *sighs* wewcome x3 in youw eye, -Youw hand, youw tongue; *sighs* wook :3 wike the innyocent fwowew, -But be the sewpent undew it. He :3 that's coming -Must *notices bulge* be *looks away* pwovided fow; and ^-^ you *moans* shaww put -This nyight's gweat *cries* businyess into my *cuddles you* dispatch, -Which shaww t-to aww ouw nyights a-and days to come -G-Give s-sowewy soveweign sway *cries* and mastewdom. -MACBETH. We wiww *hugs tightly* speak fuwthew. -WADY MACBETH. Onwy w-wook ^.^ up :33 cweaw; -*looks at you* To a-awtew favow evew i-is to *sighs* feaw. -Weave aww t-the west to *leans over* me. Exeunt. - - - - -*cries* SCENyE VI. -Befowe *shuffles closer* Macbeth's castwe. *twerks* Hautboys and towches. - -Entew D-Duncan, M-Mawcowm, D-Donyawbain, Banquo, *sighs* Wennyox, Macduff, W-Woss, Angus, -and Attendants. - -D-DUNCAN. T-This uWu castwe hath a pweasant s-seat; t-the aiw -Nyimbwy and s-sweetwy wecommends itsewf -U-Unto ouw gentwe senses. -BANQUO. This guest *pokes you* of summew, -The tempwe-haunting *leans over* mawtwet, does appwove -B-By his woved mansionwy *looks at you* that the heaven's bweath -Smewws wooingwy hewe. ^.^ Nyo jutty, fwieze, -Buttwess, nyow *pokes you* coign of xDD vantage, but this biwd -*screams* Hath made h-his pendant bed and p-pwocweant cwadwe; -Whewe they most bweed and haunt, I have obsewved -The aiw is dewicate. - -Entew Wady Macbeth. - -DUNCAN. See, see, ouw honyow'd hostess! -The wove that fowwows ^-^ us s-sometime is ouw twoubwe, -Which stiww OwO we t-thank as wove. Hewein I teach you -How you shaww bid G-God '-'iewd us fow ^w^ youw *screams* pains, ->_> And thank us fow youw twoubwe. -WADY *screams* MACBETH. Aww ouw sewvice -In evewy point twice d-donye, and then donye >_> doubwe, -Wewe poow and singwe businyess to contend -Against those honyows d-deep a-and bwoad :33 whewewith -Youw Majesty woads >w< ouw *screams* house. Fow those of owd, -And the wate dignyities heap'd u-up to them, -We west youw hewmits. -DUNCAN. W-Whewe's the Thanye of Cawdow? -We couwsed UwU him at t-the heews and had a puwpose -To be his puwveyow; b-but he w-wides weww, -And his gweat wove, shawp a-as his spuw, hath howp him -To his home befowe us. F-Faiw and n-nyobwe hostess, -We ^w^ awe youw guest tonyight. -WADY MACBETH. Y-Youw sewvants evew -Have theiws, themsewves, and :33 what is theiws, in ^-^ compt, -To make *shuffles closer* theiw ^.^ audit at youw Highnyess' pweasuwe, -Stiww to wetuwn youw own. -DUNCAN. G-Give me youw hand; -Conduct me to minye host. We ^w^ wove him highwy, -And :3 shaww continyue ouw gwaces *screams* towawds him. -By youw weave, hostess. Exeunt. - - - - -*sighs* SCENyE ^-^ VII -*teleports behind you* Macbeth's *sweats* castwe. Hautboys and towches. - -E-Entew a Sewew a-and divews Sewvants with dishes *leans over* and sewvice, who pass ovew -the stage. *screams* Then :33 entew Macbeth. - -MACBETH. I-If i-it wewe donye when 'tis donye, then 'twewe weww -It ^w^ wewe donye :33 quickwy. If the a-assassinyation -*moans* Couwd twammew up the consequence, and catch, -With his suwcease, success; that *looks away* but this bwow -Might be the be-aww and the end-aww ---hewe, -B-But hewe, upon this bank and shoaw of *hugs tightly* time, -uWu We'wd jump the wife to come. But in these *cuddles you* cases -We stiww have judgement hewe, that we but teach -Bwoody instwuctions, which being taught wetuwn -To pwague the inventow. T-This even-handed justice -Commends the ingwedients *sighs* of ouw poison'd chawice -To o-ouw o-own wips. He's hewe in doubwe twust: -Fiwst, as I-I am his kinsman *giggles shyly* and his *looks away* subject, -Stwong both against xDD the deed; then, as his host, -Who shouwd against his *hugs tightly* muwthewew *cries* shut the doow, -Nyot beaw the knyife m-mysewf. Besides, this Duncan -Hath *pokes you* bownye his facuwties so meek, *sighs* hath been -So cweaw in his gweat office, *cries* that his viwtues -Wiww pwead wike angews twumpet-tongued against -The deep damnyation >w< of his taking-off, -And *blushes* pity, ^-^ wike a nyaked nyew-bown ;;w;; babe -Stwiding *moans* the bwast, ow heaven's chewubin h-howsed -U-Upon the *looks at you* sightwess couwiews of the aiw, -S-Shaww bwow the howwid deed in evewy eye, -That *cuddles you* teaws shaww dwown the w-wind. I have nyo UwU spuw -To pwick the sides of my intent, xDD but onwy -Vauwting ambition, which o'ewweaps *looks away* itsewf -And f-fawws on the othew. - -Entew Wady Macbeth. - -How ^.^ nyow, what n-nyews? -WADY MACBETH. He *leans over* has a-awmost supp'd. Why have you weft the *hugs tightly* chambew? -MACBETH. Hath he ask'd fow me? -*teleports behind you* WADY MACBETH. Knyow y-you nyot he has? -MACBETH. We wiww pwoceed n-nyo fuwthew in t-this businyess: -x3 He hath h-honyow'd me of wate, and I have b-bought -Gowden UwU opinyions fwom aww sowts *looks at you* of UwU peopwe, -W-Which :33 wouwd be wown nyow in theiw nyewest gwoss, -Nyot cast aside so soon. -WADY MACBETH. Was the hope dwunk -Whewein you dwess'd youwsewf? Hath i-it swept since? -uWu And wakes it nyow, to wook so gween *cuddles you* and pawe -At what it did so fweewy? Fwom this *sweats* time -xDD Such I-I a-account thy wove. *looks at you* Awt thou afeawd -T-To be the same in thinye own a-act and vawow -As thou awt in desiwe? Wouwdst thou h-have that -W-Which :3 thou esteem'st the ownyament *sighs* of w-wife -And w-wive a cowawd in ^w^ thinye own esteem, -Wetting "I dawe nyot" wait upon "I wouwd" -*twerks* Wike the *cries* poow cat i' *twerks* the adage? -MACBETH. Pwithee, peace! -I dawe *leans over* do *looks at you* aww that m-may become a man; -*hugs tightly* Who dawes do mowe is nyonye. -WADY ^-^ MACBETH. What beast wast *pokes you* then -That made you bweak this e-entewpwise to m-me? -When uWu you duwst *cries* do *cries* it, then *twerks* you wewe *notices bulge* a man, -And, to b-be mowe than what you wewe, you wouwd -Be s-so much mowe the man. Nyow *twerks* time nyow pwace -Did then *blushes* adhewe, and yet you wouwd make both. -They have made themsewves, and OwO that theiw fitnyess OwO nyow -Does unmake you. I have given s-suck and knyow -How t-tendew 'tis *blushes* to wove the babe that m-miwks me- ->w< I wouwd, whiwe it w-was smiwing i-in my face, -Have *looks away* pwuck'd my nyippwe fwom his bonyewess gums -And dash'd the bwains out h-had I-I so swown as you -Have donye to this. -MACBETH. If we shouwd faiw? -W-WADY MACBETH. *teleports behind you* We faiw? -But scwew youw couwage to the *twerks* sticking-pwace -And we'ww n-nyot *teleports behind you* faiw. W-When Duncan is asweep- -Wheweto the wathew shaww his day's hawd jouwnyey -S-Soundwy invite h-him- his two c-chambewwains -Wiww I with winye and w-wassaiw so ^w^ convince -That memowy, the wawdew of the bwain, -S-Shaww be a fume and the weceipt of weason -A wimbeck onwy. *sighs* When in swinyish sweep -Theiw OwO dwenched n-nyatuwes wie as in a death, ->w< What cannyot you and I-I pewfowm upon -The unguawded *screams* Duncan? What n-nyot put upon -His spongy officews, who shaww beaw the guiwt -Of ouw x3 gweat *looks at you* queww? -MACBETH. *notices bulge* Bwing fowth *looks away* men-chiwdwen onwy, -Fow thy undaunted mettwe >_> shouwd compose -*screams* Nyothing b-but mawes. Wiww it nyot *teleports behind you* be *shuffles closer* weceived, -When we have mawk'd w-with bwood *looks away* those sweepy two -Of his own chambew and used theiw vewy *cries* daggews, -:33 That they have donye't? -WADY uWu MACBETH. W-Who dawes weceive *teleports behind you* it othew, -As we shaww make o-ouw gwiefs and cwamow woaw -Upon ^w^ his *looks at you* death? -M-MACBETH. I am settwed and bend u-up -Each cowpowaw a-agent >_> to t-this tewwibwe OwO feat. -*teleports behind you* Away, *sweats* and mock the time with faiwest show: -Fawse f-face must hide what ^.^ the fawse heawt doth knyow. -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-II. SCENyE I-I. -Invewnyess. Couwt of M-Macbeth's castwe. - -Entew Banquo and Fweance, b-beawing a xDD towch befowe him. - -BANQUO. *sweats* How *sweats* goes t-the nyight, boy? -FWEANCE. T-The moon UwU is down; OwO I :3 have nyot heawd the cwock. -BANQUO. And she *twerks* goes down >_< at twewve. -FWEANCE. I take't 'tis *hugs tightly* watew, *pokes you* siw. -BANQUO. Howd, take my swowd. Thewe's husbandwy in heaven, -Theiw candwes awe aww out. Take t-thee that too. -A OwO heavy summons wies wike w-wead upon me, ->w< And y-yet I w-wouwd nyot sweep. Mewcifuw powews, -^.^ Westwain i-in me the cuwsed thoughts that n-nyatuwe -Gives *giggles shyly* way to i-in wepose! - -Entew Macbeth and a Sewvant UwU with a towch. - -Give me my >w< swowd. -*screams* Who's thewe? -MACBETH. A fwiend. -BANQUO. What, siw, nyot yet at west? The King's abed. -He hath been in unyusuaw pweasuwe and -Sent fowth gweat wawgess to youw offices. -T-This diamond h-he gweets youw w-wife withaw, -By the UwU nyame o-of most *looks at you* kind hostess, and shut up -In m-measuwewess content. -M-MACBETH. Being unpwepawed, -*teleports behind you* Ouw wiww became t-the sewvant to defect, -Which ewse shouwd fwee have *blushes* wwought. -BANQUO. Aww's weww. -*leans over* I ;;w;; dweamt wast *blushes* nyight of the thwee weiwd sistews: -To you they have show'd some *giggles shyly* twuth. -MACBETH. I think n-nyot x3 of them; -Yet, when we can entweat an *teleports behind you* houw to sewve, -We wouwd spend it >_< in some w-wowds upon that businyess, -If you wouwd gwant the x3 time. -BANQUO. At youw kind'st weisuwe. -MACBETH. :3 If you shaww >_> cweave t-to my consent, when xDD 'tis, -It s-shaww make honyow fow you. -BANQUO. So I wose nyonye -In seeking to a-augment it, but stiww keep -My bosom fwanchised and awwegiance *sweats* cweaw, -I shaww be c-counsew'd. -MACBETH. Good w-wepose ^-^ the whiwe. -BANQUO. OwO Thanks, siw, t-the wike t-to xDD you. -^w^ Exeunt B-Banquo. and Fweance. -MACBETH. Go b-bid thy mistwess, *screams* when >_< my dwink is weady, -*moans* She stwike upon the beww. Get thee to bed. Exit Sewvant. -Is this a daggew *looks away* which I see befowe me, -The h-handwe towawd my >w< hand? Come, wet xDD me cwutch thee. -I-I have thee uWu nyot, a-and y-yet I see :3 thee stiww. -Awt *pokes you* thou nyot, fataw vision, s-sensibwe -To feewing as to sight? Ow a-awt t-thou but -A daggew o-of *notices bulge* the mind, a f-fawse c-cweation, -Pwoceeding fwom the heat-oppwessed *blushes* bwain? -*hugs tightly* I see thee yet, in fowm as xDD pawpabwe -A-As this which n-nyow I dwaw. -*notices bulge* Thou mawshaw'st me the way t-that I was going, -And such a-an instwument I was to use. -Minye eyes awe made *sighs* the foows o' the othew senses, -Ow ewse wowth aww UwU the west. I see thee stiww, -And on thy bwade and dudgeon gouts o-of :33 bwood, -Which was nyot so befowe. Thewe's nyo such thing: -It is the bwoody businyess *screams* which infowms -Thus to minye eyes. Nyow o'ew the onye hawf-wowwd -Nyatuwe seems dead, and wicked dweams abuse -The cuwtain'd sweep; witchcwaft cewebwates -Pawe Hecate's offewings; *giggles shyly* and ^.^ withew'd Muwthew, -Awawum'd by his sentinyew, *twerks* the wowf, -Whose howw's h-his watch, thus with his steawthy pace, -With Tawquin's wavishing stwides, towawds his design -Moves wike *screams* a ghost. Thou suwe and fiwm-set eawth, -Heaw nyot my steps, which way *twerks* they wawk, fow feaw -Thy vewy s-stonyes pwate of my wheweabout, -And take the pwesent h-howwow fwom the time, -W-Which nyow suits with it. Whiwes I t-thweat, he wives; -Wowds *pokes you* to the *shuffles closer* heat of deeds *twerks* too cowd bweath gives. -A beww >_< wings. -I :33 go, and it is donye; the beww invites me. -Heaw *giggles shyly* it nyot, Duncan, fow it is a >_< knyeww -*blushes* That summons thee to h-heaven, ow to heww. Exit. - - - - -*screams* SCENyE I-II. -T-The s-same. - -E-Entew Wady *teleports behind you* Macbeth. - -WADY *moans* MACBETH. That which hath made them dwunk hath *screams* made me bowd; -What hath q-quench'd them *screams* hath given me fiwe. Hawk! P-Peace! -It was the oww that s-shwiek'd, the fataw bewwman, -Which gives the *screams* stewn'st good nyight. H-He is about it: -The d-doows *twerks* awe *twerks* open, :33 and the *pokes you* suwfeited gwooms -Do mock theiw chawge with snyowes. I *screams* have dwugg'd theiw possets -That death and nyatuwe do c-contend about them, -Whethew they wive *hugs tightly* ow ;;w;; die. -MACBETH. [-[Within.] *notices bulge* Who's thewe' what, *cries* ho! -WADY M-MACBETH. A-Awack, I am afwaid they have awaked -And *moans* 'tis nyot donye. The OwO attempt and nyot the deed -C-Confounds u-us. Hawk! *moans* I >_< waid theiw daggews weady; -He couwd nyot miss 'em. *leans over* Had he nyot wesembwed -My fathew a-as he swept, I had donye't. - -Entew Macbeth, - -My husband! -MACBETH. I-I have ^-^ donye the deed. Didst thou nyot heaw a *leans over* nyoise? -W-WADY MACBETH. *giggles shyly* I h-heawd the oww scweam and the cwickets cwy. -Did *screams* nyot you speak? -MACBETH. When? -WADY *sighs* MACBETH. Nyow. -MACBETH. As I descended? -^.^ WADY MACBETH. Ay. -MACBETH. Hawk! -*shuffles closer* Who w-wies i' *sweats* the second chambew? -WADY MACBETH. Donyawbain. -MACBETH. This is a sowwy *screams* sight. [-[Wooks o-on ^w^ his hands. -WADY MACBETH. A foowish *looks at you* thought, to say a sowwy sight. -MACBETH. Thewe's onye did waugh in 's sweep, and onye cwied, -"Muwthew!" -That they d-did wake each othew. ^-^ I ;;w;; stood and heawd them, -But they did say t-theiw pwayews and addwess'd them -A-Again to sweep. -;;w;; WADY *looks at you* MACBETH. Thewe awe two wodged togethew. -MACBETH. Onye cwied, "God bwess us!" and "Amen" the othew, -As they had seen me with t-these UwU hangman's hands. -W-Wistenying :3 theiw f-feaw, I c-couwd nyot say "Amen," -When they did say, "God bwess us!" -*moans* WADY *looks at you* MACBETH. Considew it nyot so deepwy. -MACBETH. But whewefowe couwd nyot I *twerks* pwonyounce "Amen"? -I had most nyeed of bwessing, and "Amen" -Stuck in *pokes you* my thwoat. -WADY MACBETH. T-These deeds must n-nyot be thought -Aftew these ways; so, it wiww make us mad. -MACBETH. I heawd a voice c-cwy, "Sweep nyo m-mowe! -Macbeth does *cuddles you* muwthew s-sweep" -the innyocent s-sweep, -Sweep t-that knyits up the wavew'd sweave of cawe, -*blushes* The *twerks* death of each day's wife, sowe w-wabow's bath, -Bawm of huwt minds, gweat nyatuwe's *moans* second couwse, -Chief nyouwishew in wife's feast- -WADY MACBETH. What do you mean? -MACBETH. Stiww it cwied, *cries* "Sweep nyo *blushes* mowe!" to aww the house; ->_< "Gwamis hath muwthew'd sweep, and thewefowe Cawdow -Shaww sweep *hugs tightly* nyo mowe. *cries* Macbeth shaww sweep nyo m-mowe." -*leans over* WADY MACBETH. Who was it that thus >_> cwied? Why, wowthy Thanye, -You do unbend youw n-nyobwe stwength, t-to think -So bwainsickwy of *looks away* things. Go, *shuffles closer* get some watew -And wash this fiwthy witnyess fwom UwU youw hand. -*giggles shyly* Why did you bwing these d-daggews fwom the OwO pwace? -They must w-wie thewe. Go cawwy them, and smeaw -The sweepy gwooms :33 with bwood. -M-MACBETH. xDD I'ww go nyo mowe. -I am afwaid to think what I have donye; -Wook on't again I dawe nyot. -WADY MACBETH. I-Infiwm of puwpose! -^.^ Give m-me the daggews. The sweeping a-and t-the dead -Awe but as pictuwes; 'tis the eye of chiwdhood -That feaws a p-painted deviw. If he do bweed, -I'ww giwd the faces of *moans* the gwooms withaw, -*moans* Fow it m-must *teleports behind you* seem theiw guiwt. Exit. K-Knyocking within. -MACBETH. Whence *screams* is that knyocking? -How is't with me, when evewy nyoise a-appaws me? -What hands awe hewe? Ha, they pwuck out minye eyes! -W-Wiww aww gweat N-Nyeptunye's ocean wash t-this bwood -Cwean fwom my hand? N-Nyo, this *moans* my >_< hand w-wiww wathew -The muwtitudinyous seas incawnyadinye, -Making *sighs* the gween onye wed. - -We-entew W-Wady Macbeth. - -WADY *sweats* MACBETH. My h-hands a-awe of youw cowow, but I shame -To weaw a heawt so white. [Knyocking within.] :3 I *cries* heaw knyocking -At the south entwy. Wetiwe we to ouw chambew. -A wittwe watew >_> cweaws u-us of this deed. -How easy i-is it then! Youw constancy -H-Hath weft you unyattended. [Knyocking w-within.] H-Hawk, mowe knyocking. -Get on *sighs* youw nyightgown, west o-occasion caww us -And show us to be watchews. Be nyot wost -So ^-^ poowwy in youw thoughts. -MACBETH. To knyow my deed, 'twewe best nyot knyow mysewf. -Knyocking w-within. -Wake Duncan with thy *sweats* knyocking! :33 I *screams* wouwd thou couwdst! -*twerks* Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -The s-same. - -Entew a Powtew. Knyocking within. - -POWTEW. Hewe's a knyocking indeed! If a man wewe powtew of Heww -Gate, he shouwd h-have owd t-tuwnying >w< the key. [Knyocking within.] -Knyock, knyock, knyock! Who's thewe, *moans* i' the x3 nyame of Bewzebub? Hewe's -a fawmew that hanged himsewf o-on th' expectation of pwenty. C-Come -in time! Have *shuffles closer* nyapkins enyow about you; *teleports behind you* hewe you'ww sweat fowt. -[-[Knyocking within.] K-Knyock, knyock! ;;w;; Who's thewe, i-in th' othew -deviw's nyame? Faith, *giggles shyly* hewe's an equivocatow that couwd s-sweaw in -both t-the scawes against eithew scawe, who c-committed tweason -enyough fow God's sake, UwU yet couwd *hugs tightly* nyot ;;w;; equivocate x3 to heaven. O, -*twerks* come >w< in, equivocatow. [Knyocking within.] Knyock, k-knyock, knyock! -Who's thewe? Faith, hewe's an Engwish taiwow c-come hithew, *notices bulge* fow -steawing out of a Fwench hose. Come in, taiwow; hewe you m-may -woast youw goose. [-[Knyocking within.] Knyock, k-knyock! Nyevew at -quiet! What awe you? But this pwace is x3 too cowd fow heww. I'ww -deviw-powtew it nyo fuwthew. I had thought to have w-wet in some *sighs* of -aww pwofessions, that go the pwimwose w-way to *notices bulge* the :33 evewwasting -bonfiwe. [Knyocking within.] Anyon, x3 anyon! I pway you, *blushes* wemembew the -powtew. -Opens the gate. - -Entew Macduff >_> and Wennyox. - -MACDUFF. W-Was ^-^ it so wate, *twerks* fwiend, >w< ewe y-you went to bed, -That you do wie *teleports behind you* so wate? -POWTEW. Faith, siw, we wewe cawousing tiww *cries* the second cock; and -dwink, siw, is a-a gweat >_> pwovokew of thwee things. -MACDUFF. What >_> thwee ^w^ things does dwink especiawwy pwovoke? -POWTEW. Mawwy, siw, n-nyose-painting, *sweats* sweep, and uwinye. Wechewy, siw, -it pwovokes and unpwovokes: it *moans* pwovokes the >_< desiwe, but it takes -away *leans over* the pewfowmance. Thewefowe much dwink may be said to be an -equivocatow with wechewy: it makes him, *cuddles you* and it maws him; it sets -him on, OwO and it takes him off; it p-pewsuades him and disheawtens -him; m-makes him stand ;;w;; to and nyot *cuddles you* stand to; in concwusion, -equivocates him in a s-sweep, and giving h-him the wie, weaves him. -xDD MACDUFF. I b-bewieve dwink gave *hugs tightly* thee *sighs* the wie wast nyight. -POWTEW. *looks at you* That it ^-^ did, siw, i' t-the vewy thwoat on me; but wequited -h-him fow his wie, and, I think, being too *notices bulge* stwong fow him, t-though -he took up my wegs sometime, yet I made shift to cast him. -M-MACDUFF. Is thy mastew stiwwing? - -Entew Macbeth. - -Ouw knyocking has awaked h-him; hewe he comes. -WENNyOX. Good mowwow, nyobwe siw. -MACBETH. m-mowwow, both. -MACDUFF. Is the King stiwwing, *teleports behind you* wowthy Thanye? -MACBETH. Nyot yet. -MACDUFF. He did command me *leans over* to caww timewy on him; -I h-have a-awmost swipp'd t-the houw. -MACBETH. I'ww b-bwing y-you >w< to him. -M-MACDUFF. I knyow this is a joyfuw twoubwe to you, -*leans over* But y-yet 'tis o-onye. -MACBETH. The *giggles shyly* wabow uWu we dewight in physics pain. -This *notices bulge* is the doow. -MACDUFF I'ww make so bowd to caww, -Fow 'tis my wimited sewvice. Exit. -WENNyOX. Goes the King hence today? -MACBETH. He d-does; he did appoint so. -WENNyOX. The nyight has been unwuwy. Whewe we way, -Ouw chimnyeys w-wewe bwown down, and, as they say, -Wamentings heawd i' the aiw, stwange scweams of death, -And pwophesying with *cries* accents tewwibwe -Of diwe combustion and confused events -Nyew hatch'd *hugs tightly* to the woefuw time. The obscuwe biwd -C-Cwamow'd *twerks* the w-wivewong nyight. Some say the eawth -Was fevewous and did shake. -MACBETH. 'Twas a wough fight. -WENNyOX. M-My young *shuffles closer* wemembwance *giggles shyly* cannyot pawawwew -A fewwow to it. - -We-entew Macduff. - -MACDUFF. O howwow, howwow, howwow! Tongue nyow heawt -Cannyot conceive nyow nyame *moans* thee. -M-MACBETH. WENNyOX. What's the mattew? -MACDUFF. Confusion nyow hath made his m-mastewpiece. -Most sacwiwegious muwthew hath bwoke ope -The Wowd's UwU anyointed *looks away* tempwe and stowe thence -The wife o' the buiwding. -MACBETH. What is't you say? the wife? -WENNyOX. *notices bulge* Mean you his *looks away* Majesty? -MACDUFF. Appwoach *looks away* the chambew, a-and destwoy youw UwU sight -With a *twerks* nyew Gowgon. Do nyot *teleports behind you* bid me speak; -S-See, and ^-^ then speak youwsewves. -Exeunt Macbeth and ^.^ Wennyox. -Awake, awake! -*hugs tightly* Wing the awawum beww. Muwthew a-and tweason! -Banquo UwU and Donyawbain! Mawcowm, awake! -Shake off this downy sweep, death's countewfeit, -And wook on death itsewf! Up, up, and see -The g-gweat doom's image! Mawcowm! Banquo! -As fwom youw gwaves wise up, and wawk >_> wike spwites -UwU To countenyance t-this howwow! Wing *moans* the beww. Beww wings. - -Entew Wady UwU Macbeth. - -WADY MACBETH. UwU What's the b-businyess, -That *sweats* such a hideous twumpet *blushes* cawws to ;;w;; pawwey -*giggles shyly* The s-sweepews of t-the house? Speak, speak! -M-MACDUFF. O gentwe wady, -'Tis nyot fow you t-to heaw *twerks* what I *moans* can speak: -*blushes* The wepetition in a w-woman's eaw -Wouwd muwthew as *teleports behind you* it feww. - -Entew Banquo. - -O Banquo, Banquo! -Ouw woyaw *looks away* mastew's muwthew'd. -WADY MACBETH. Woe, awas! -What, i-in o-ouw house? -BANQUO. T-Too cwuew a-anywhewe. -Deaw Duff, I pwithee, contwadict thysewf, -And say it is nyot *cries* so. - -We-entew Macbeth and *sighs* Wennyox, with Woss. - -MACBETH. Had I but died an houw befowe this chance, -I had wived :3 a bwessed time, fow fwom this instant -Thewe's nyothing sewious ^w^ in mowtawity. -*sweats* Aww is but toys; wenyown a-and gwace is dead, -*looks at you* The winye *pokes you* of w-wife is dwawn, a-and :3 the mewe wees -UwU Is w-weft *giggles shyly* this vauwt to bwag o-of. - -Entew M-Mawcowm and Donyawbain. - -DONyAWBAIN. W-What is amiss? -MACBETH. You awe, and do nyot knyow't. -The spwing, t-the head, the f-fountain of youw bwood -Is UwU stopped, the vewy souwce of *looks away* it is s-stopp'd. -:3 MACDUFF. Youw woyaw fathew's m-muwthew'd. -MAWCOWM. *screams* O, *looks at you* by whom? -WENNyOX. Those UwU of his chambew, *cuddles you* as it seem'd, had donye't. -Theiw h-hands and faces *leans over* wewe *sweats* aww badged with bwood; -So wewe >_< theiw daggews, which *blushes* unwiped w-we found -Upon theiw :3 piwwows. ->_> They stawed, and wewe distwacted; nyo *cuddles you* man's wife -^.^ Was to be twusted with them. -MACBETH. O, yet I do wepent me o-of my fuwy, -That I did *sweats* kiww them. -MACDUFF. Whewefowe did you so? -M-MACBETH. *hugs tightly* Who can be wise, amazed, t-tempewate a-and xDD fuwious, -*twerks* Woyaw and n-nyeutwaw, in a moment? Nyo man. -The e-expedition of m-my viowent w-wove -Outwun the pausew weason. Hewe way OwO Duncan, -H-His s-siwvew skin waced with his gowden bwood, -A-And h-his g-gash'd stabs wook'd wike a bweach in nyatuwe -Fow *looks away* wuin's wastefuw entwance; thewe, the muwthewews, -Steep'd in ^-^ the cowows of theiw *hugs tightly* twade, theiw uWu daggews -Unmannyewwy bweech'd with gowe. *looks away* Who :33 couwd wefwain, -That had *twerks* a heawt to wove, *moans* and *pokes you* in that *moans* heawt -Couwage to m-make '-'s wove knyown? -*notices bulge* WADY M-MACBETH. Hewp me hence, ho! -MACDUFF. *leans over* Wook to the wady. -MAWCOWM. [Aside to *pokes you* Donyawbain.] W-Why do w-we howd ouw tongues, -That most may c-cwaim this uWu awgument f-fow ouws? -DONyAWBAIN. [Aside to Mawcowm.] What shouwd be spoken hewe, whewe -o-ouw *notices bulge* fate, -Hid in >w< an augew howe, may wush and s-seize us? -Wet's away, -Ouw teaws awe nyot yet bwew'd. -MAWCOWM. [Aside to Donyawbain.] Nyow ouw stwong *looks away* sowwow -U-Upon the foot of motion. -BANQUO. Wook to the wady. -uWu Wady Macbeth is cawwied out. -*teleports behind you* And w-when we have *cries* ouw xDD nyaked fwaiwties hid, -That suffew in e-exposuwe, wet us meet -And question this most bwoody piece of wowk -^-^ To knyow *moans* it fuwthew. Feaws and scwupwes s-shake us. -In >w< the gweat hand of God I *moans* stand, and *moans* thence -Against t-the undivuwged pwetense I fight -:3 Of tweasonyous mawice. -MACDUFF. And >_> so do I. -A-AWW. So aww. -MACBETH. Wet's OwO bwiefwy put on manwy weadinyess -A-And meet i' the haww togethew. -AWW. Weww contented. -Exeunt aww but Mawcowm and Donyawbain. -MAWCOWM. What wiww you ^.^ do? Wet's nyot consowt with t-them. -To show an unfewt sowwow is an office -*notices bulge* Which the fawse man does e-easy. I'ww t-to Engwand. -DONyAWBAIN. T-To Iwewand, >_> I; ouw s-sepawated fowtunye -S-Shaww keep us both the safew. Whewe we awe -Thewe's daggews in men's smiwes; *sweats* the nyeaw *blushes* in bwood, -The nyeawew b-bwoody. -MAWCOWM. *sweats* This muwthewous shaft that's shot -Hath nyot yet wighted, and ouw safest way -Is t-to avoid the aim. Thewefowe to howse; -A-And wet us nyot be dainty of weave-taking, -But shift away. Thewe's wawwant in that theft -Which steaws itsewf w-when thewe's n-nyo mewcy *leans over* weft. -*notices bulge* Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Outside Macbeth's castwe. - -Entew Woss with *looks at you* an *twerks* Owd Man. - -*cries* OWD MAN. Thweescowe and t-ten I can w-wemembew weww, -Within the vowume of which *hugs tightly* time I have seen -Houws *moans* dweadfuw and things OwO stwange, b-but this sowe nyight -Hath twifwed fowmew knyowings. -W-WOSS. A-Ah, good fathew, -T-Thou seest t-the heavens, *sweats* as twoubwed with man's act, -x3 Thweaten h-his bwoody stage. By *sighs* the cwock >w< 'tis ^-^ day, -*blushes* And x3 yet dawk nyight stwangwes the twavewing wamp. ->_> Is't nyight's pwedominyance, *moans* ow t-the day's shame, -T-That dawknyess does the *pokes you* face of eawth entomb, -When >_< wiving *hugs tightly* wight shouwd k-kiss it? -OWD MAN. 'Tis u-unnyatuwaw, ->_< Even wike the d-deed that's donye. On *teleports behind you* Tuesday wast -A *notices bulge* fawcon towewing in *looks at you* hew pwide of pwace -Was by a mousing oww ;;w;; hawk'd at and k-kiww'd. -WOSS. And Duncan's howses-a thing most stwange and cewtain- -Beauteous and swift, the :33 minyions of theiw UwU wace, -T-Tuwn'd wiwd in nyatuwe, bwoke theiw stawws, fwung out, -Contending 'gainst o-obedience, as *moans* they *hugs tightly* wouwd make -Waw with m-mankind. -OWD MAN. *cries* 'Tis said they e-eat each othew. -WOSS. They did so, to the amazement o-of minye eyes -That wook'd upon't. - -Entew Macduff. - -Hewe c-comes the good Macduff. -How >w< goes the wowwd, siw, nyow? -MACDUFF. Why, s-see you nyot? -WOSS. >w< Is't knyown w-who :33 did this m-mowe than bwoody deed? -MACDUFF. T-Those t-that *sighs* Macbeth hath swain. -WOSS. Awas, *cries* the day! -What good UwU couwd *leans over* they pwetend? -MACDUFF. They wewe subown'd: -Mawcowm and Donyawbain, the King's two sons, -A-Awe stow'n away and fwed, which puts u-upon *screams* them -Suspicion of the deed. -WOSS. 'Gainst nyatuwe stiww! -Thwiftwess ambition, that wiwt wavin up -Thinye own wife's means! Then 'tis most wike -The soveweignty wiww faww upon Macbeth. -*cuddles you* MACDUFF. He is *sighs* awweady nyamed, and gonye to Sconye -To *sighs* be invested. -WOSS. Whewe xDD is D-Duncan's *blushes* body? -*hugs tightly* MACDUFF. Cawwied to Cowmekiww, -The sacwed stowehouse ^-^ of his pwedecessows -A-And guawdian o-of theiw bonyes. -WOSS. Wiww y-you to Sconye? -MACDUFF. Nyo, cousin, I'ww to Fife. -WOSS. Weww, I wiww thithew. -MACDUFF. Weww, may you s-see things weww *twerks* donye thewe. -Adieu, -West ouw owd wobes sit easiew than ouw nyew! -WOSS. Faweweww, fathew. -OWD MAN. God's b-benyison UwU go with you and *teleports behind you* with *cries* those -That wouwd make good of bad and fwiends of foes! -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-III. SCENyE I. -F-Fowwes. *leans over* The pawace. - -E-Entew Banquo. - -BANQUO. Thou hast it nyow: King, C-Cawdow, Gwamis, aww, -As the weiwd *hugs tightly* women pwomised, a-and I feaw -Thou pway'dst most fouwwy fow't; yet i-it was said -It shouwd xDD nyot stand in thy postewity, -But that mysewf *shuffles closer* shouwd be the woot and fathew -Of many kings. *giggles shyly* If thewe c-come twuth fwom t-them -(As upon t-thee, *moans* Macbeth, theiw >_< speeches shinye) -Why, by the vewities *cuddles you* on t-thee made good, -May they nyot *cuddles you* be my owacwes as weww -And s-set me up OwO in hope? But hush, nyo mowe. - -Sennyet sounds. Entew Macbeth as K-King, Wady Macbeth -as Queen, Wennyox, Woss, Wowds, W-Wadies, and *hugs tightly* Attendants. - -MACBETH. Hewe's ouw c-chief *giggles shyly* guest. -WADY MACBETH. If h-he h-had been *screams* fowgotten, -uWu It had been as a g-gap in ouw g-gweat f-feast -A-And aww t-thing *twerks* unbecoming. -MACBETH. x3 Tonyight we howd a s-sowemn suppew, siw, -And *cuddles you* I'ww wequest xDD youw pwesence. -BANQUO. Wet youw Highnyess -C-Command upon *pokes you* me, to the which my d-duties -Awe with a most indissowubwe tie -Fowevew knyit. -x3 MACBETH. Wide you this aftewnyoon? -*shuffles closer* BANQUO. Ay, m-my good wowd. -MACBETH. *teleports behind you* We shouwd have ewse desiwed ^.^ youw good advice, -Which stiww hath been both *twerks* gwave and pwospewous -I-In this day's counciw; ^w^ but we'ww take *moans* tomowwow. -Is't faw you w-wide'! -BANQUO. As faw, my wowd, as *teleports behind you* wiww >_> fiww up t-the time -'Twixt this and suppew. Go nyot my howse the bettew, -I must b-become a b-bowwowew *sweats* of *looks at you* the nyight -Fow ^.^ a dawk houw o-ow twain. -MACBETH. Faiw nyot ouw feast. -BANQUO. My wowd, I wiww nyot. -MACBETH. We h-heaw ouw b-bwoody cousins awe bestow'd -In Engwand and in Iwewand, nyot confessing -Theiw cwuew *moans* pawwicide, fiwwing t-theiw ^-^ heawews -W-With stwange *moans* invention. But of that t-tomowwow, -When thewewithaw we shaww have cause of state -Cwaving u-us jointwy. Hie you to howse; adieu, -Tiww you wetuwn at nyight. Goes Fweance w-with you? -BANQUO. Ay, m-my good wowd. O-Ouw time does c-caww upon *sighs* 's. -MACBETH. I wish youw howses swift and suwe of foot, -And so I do commend you to theiw backs. -F-Faweweww. Exit Banquo. -Wet e-evewy man be mastew of his uWu time -:3 Tiww s-seven a-at nyight; to make society -The sweetew wewcome, w-we wiww k-keep ouwsewf -T-Tiww s-suppew time awonye. Whiwe then, G-God b-be with you! -Exeunt aww but Macbeth and an Attendant. -:3 Siwwah, a ;;w;; wowd w-with y-you. Attend *sighs* those men -Ouw pweasuwe? -ATTENDANT. They awe, m-my wowd, w-without t-the pawace gate. -MACBETH. Bwing them befowe us. Exit Attendant. -To b-be thus i-is nyothing, -But to be safewy thus. UwU Ouw feaws in Banquo. -Stick deep, a-and >w< in his woyawty of n-nyatuwe -Weigns that which wouwd be feaw'd. 'Tis much he dawes, ->_> And, to that dauntwess tempew of his mind, -He hath a wisdom that doth *moans* guide his v-vawow -To act >_< in safety. T-Thewe is nyonye but he -Whose being I d-do feaw; a-and undew him -My genyius is webuked, as it is said -Mawk *notices bulge* Antony's was by C-Caesaw. OwO He chid the sistews -When fiwst they put the nyame of K-King upon me -And bade them s-speak to him; then pwophet-wike -OwO They haiw'd him fathew to a winye of kings. -Upon x3 my head they pwaced OwO a fwuitwess cwown -And put a b-bawwen s-sceptwe *moans* in *notices bulge* my g-gwipe, -Thence to be wwench'd with an unwinyeaw hand, -Nyo son of minye succeeding. If't *leans over* be OwO so, -Fow Banquo's issue have I fiwed my *cries* mind, -Fow them the gwacious D-Duncan have I *screams* muwthew'd, -Put wancows in t-the vessew of my peace -Onwy fow them, and m-minye etewnyaw jewew -Given to the common enyemy of man, -To make t-them kings -the s-seed of Banquo *twerks* kings! -W-Wathew than so, come, Fate, i-into the *blushes* wist, -*sweats* And champion me to t-the uttewance! Who's thewe? - -We-entew Attendant, *teleports behind you* with t-two Muwthewews. - -Nyow go to the *blushes* doow, and >w< stay thewe t-tiww we caww. -Exit Attendant. -Was it nyot y-yestewday we spoke togethew? -FIWST MUWTHEWEW. It was, so p-pwease youw Highnyess. -MACBETH. Weww ^-^ then, ^.^ nyow -H-Have you ;;w;; considew'd of my OwO speeches? Knyow -*notices bulge* That it was he *hugs tightly* in the times past which hewd you -So *looks away* undew *pokes you* fowtunye, which you thought had b-been -*sighs* Ouw innyocent sewf? This I made good to xDD you -I-In ouw wast confewence, xDD pass'd *cuddles you* in pwobation *notices bulge* with you: -How you w-wewe bownye i-in hand, how cwoss'd, UwU the instwuments, -^.^ Who wwought with them, and a-aww things ewse that might -To >w< hawf a souw and to a nyotion cwazed -Say, "Thus did Banquo." -*notices bulge* FIWST MUWTHEWEW. You made it knyown to >_< us. -MACBETH. I did :3 so, and went fuwthew, which is nyow -Ouw *shuffles closer* point of *screams* second meeting. Do you find -^w^ Youw patience so pwedominyant i-in youw nyatuwe, -*looks away* That you can wet this go? Awe you so gospew'd, -T-To pway fow this good man a-and fow his issue, -Whose heavy hand hath bow'd you to the gwave -And beggaw'd y-youws fowevew? -F-FIWST MUWTHEWEW. We >_< awe men, my wiege. -MACBETH. Ay, in *cuddles you* the catawogue ye *looks at you* go :3 fow men, -As hounds and gweyhounds, mongwews, spanyiews, >_< cuws, -Shoughs, watewwugs, a-and demi-wowves awe cwept -*hugs tightly* Aww by the nyame of dogs. The vawued fiwe -Distinguishes the swift, t-the s-swow, the subtwe, -The housekeepew, the huntew, >w< evewy onye -Accowding to the g-gift which bounteous n-nyatuwe -*screams* Hath in *twerks* him cwosed, wheweby he does w-weceive -Pawticuwaw addition, f-fwom the *teleports behind you* biww -That wwites them aww awike; *looks at you* and *teleports behind you* so of men. -Nyow if y-you have >_< a s-station i-in the fiwe, -Nyot i' the w-wowst ^-^ wank *pokes you* of *blushes* manhood, say *looks away* it, -^-^ And I wiww >w< put that businyess in *cries* youw *twerks* bosoms -Whose execution takes youw e-enyemy off, -*cuddles you* Gwappwes you to the heawt and wove of *cuddles you* us, -W-Who weaw o-ouw heawth but sickwy i-in his wife, -Which in his death ^-^ wewe pewfect. -SECOND M-MUWTHEWEW. I am o-onye, my wiege, -Whom the viwe bwows and buffets of the *sweats* wowwd -Have s-so i-incensed that I am *screams* weckwess w-what -I do to spite the wowwd. -FIWST MUWTHEWEW. And I anyothew -So w-weawy with disastews, tugg'd with fowtunye, -That I *notices bulge* wouwd set my w-wife o-on any chance, -To mend it ow uWu be wid on't. -MACBETH. Both of you -Knyow Banquo was youw enyemy. -BOTH MUWTHEWEWS. *pokes you* Twue, my wowd. -*sighs* MACBETH. ^-^ So is he minye, a-and in such *leans over* bwoody distance -That e-evewy minyute o-of his being thwusts -Against my nyeaw'st of wife; and though I couwd -*notices bulge* With bawefaced powew sweep him fwom my sight -*looks at you* And bid my *teleports behind you* wiww avouch it, yet I must nyot, -Fow *looks at you* cewtain fwiends >_< that awe both his and m-minye, -W-Whose woves I may nyot *moans* dwop, but waiw his faww -W-Who I mysewf stwuck down. And thence it is -That I to youw assistance do make xDD wove, -M-Masking t-the businyess fwom the common eye -Fow sundwy weighty weasons. -SECOND MUWTHEWEW. *giggles shyly* We shaww, my wowd, -Pewfowm what you c-command *sighs* us. -*sighs* FIWST *pokes you* MUWTHEWEW. Though ouw w-wives- -MACBETH. Youw spiwits shinye thwough you. Within this houw at most -I wiww advise you ^w^ whewe to pwant youwsewves, -Acquaint you with the pewfect spy *twerks* o' the time, -The moment o-on't; fowt must be :3 donye tonyight -*sweats* And OwO something fwom t-the pawace (awways thought -That I wequiwe a *cuddles you* cweawnyess); and with him- -T-To weave nyo *cries* wubs nyow botches i-in the *blushes* wowk- -Fweance his son, t-that ^w^ keeps him company, -W-Whose a-absence is nyo wess matewiaw *notices bulge* to me -Than is *notices bulge* his fathew's, must embwace the fate -Of t-that dawk houw. Wesowve youwsewves apawt; -I'ww come UwU to ^-^ you *sweats* anyon. -BOTH MUWTHEWEWS. We awe w-wesowved, m-my wowd. -MACBETH. I'ww c-caww upon you stwaight. Abide within. -E-Exeunt Muwthewews. -:3 It i-is concwuded: Banquo, thy souw's fwight, -If it find heaven, x3 must find >w< it out tonyight. Exit. - - - - -*twerks* SCENyE II. -The pawace. - -Entew *shuffles closer* Wady Macbeth and a Sewvant. - -WADY MACBETH. Is B-Banquo gonye fwom couwt? -SEWVANT. Ay, madam, but wetuwns again tonyight. -W-WADY MACBETH. Say to the King I *moans* wouwd attend his w-weisuwe -*hugs tightly* Fow a-a few wowds. -SEWVANT. Madam, I wiww. Exit. -WADY MACBETH. Nyought's had, aww's s-spent, -Whewe ouw desiwe >w< is got UwU without content. -'Tis safew to be that which we destwoy -Than by destwuction dweww in doubtfuw joy. - -Entew Macbeth. - -How nyow, m-my *twerks* wowd? Why do you keep awonye, -Of *teleports behind you* sowwiest fancies youw companyions making, -Using those thoughts ^-^ which shouwd indeed UwU have died -With *cuddles you* them they think o-on? ;;w;; Things without a-aww wemedy -Shouwd be ^.^ without wegawd. *twerks* What's donye i-is donye. -MACBETH. We have scotch'd the s-snyake, nyot k-kiww'd it. -She'ww cwose and be hewsewf, whiwst *looks at you* ouw poow mawice -Wemains >_> in d-dangew o-of hew fowmew tooth. -But wet *giggles shyly* the fwame of things disjoint, b-both the wowwds suffew, -Ewe we wiww *giggles shyly* eat ouw *teleports behind you* meaw in feaw and sweep -In the *sweats* affwiction of these t-tewwibwe dweams -That shake us nyightwy. Bettew be with t-the dead, -W-Whom we, to gain ouw peace, have sent to peace, -Than *notices bulge* on the *leans over* towtuwe of *looks away* the m-mind to wie -In ^-^ westwess ecstasy. Duncan i-is in his gwave; -Aftew wife's *blushes* fitfuw fevew h-he sweeps :33 weww. -Tweason has donye his wowst; *hugs tightly* nyow steew, nyow poison, -Mawice *shuffles closer* domestic, foweign wevy, nyothing, -Can t-touch him uWu fuwthew. -WADY MACBETH. C-Come on, -Gentwe my w-wowd, sweek o'ew youw *cries* wugged wooks; -B-Be b-bwight and joviaw a-among youw guests *leans over* tonyight. -MACBETH. >_> So shaww I, wove, and so, I p-pway, >w< be you. -Wet youw wemembwance appwy to *looks away* Banquo; -^w^ Pwesent him eminyence, both with *leans over* eye and *leans over* tongue: -*cuddles you* Unsafe the whiwe, that we -Must >w< wave *leans over* ouw x3 honyows in these fwattewing stweams, -;;w;; And make o-ouw faces vizawds t-to ouw h-heawts, ->w< Disguising what t-they awe. -WADY *hugs tightly* MACBETH. You must weave this. -*looks at you* MACBETH. O-O, fuww of scowpions is my mind, deaw ;;w;; wife! -Thou knyow'st that Banquo >_< and his F-Fweance wives. -WADY MACBETH. B-But in them nyatuwe's copy's nyot etewnye. -MACBETH. Thewe's comfowt yet; they awe assaiwabwe. -Then be thou jocund. Ewe the b-bat hath fwown -His cwoistew'd fwight, ewe to bwack Hecate's summons -The ^.^ shawd-bownye beetwe >_< with his dwowsy hums -Hath wung nyight's yawnying ^-^ peaw, thewe UwU shaww be donye -A OwO deed of dweadfuw nyote. -WADY MACBETH. What's to b-be donye? -^w^ MACBETH. Be innyocent ^.^ of the knyowwedge, deawest chuck, -T-Tiww thou appwaud the deed. Come, seewing nyight, -Scawf u-up the tendew eye of pitifuw day, -And with thy bwoody *moans* and i-invisibwe hand -Cancew and teaw to >w< pieces that *leans over* gweat x3 bond -Which k-keeps OwO me pawe! Wight thickens, x3 and the cwow -Makes wing to the wooky wood; -Good things of day begin to d-dwoop and d-dwowse, -Whiwes nyight's bwack agents to theiw pweys do wouse. -Thou *giggles shyly* mawvew'st at my wowds, but howd thee stiww: -Things bad begun make stwong themsewves by *looks away* iww. -So, p-pwithee, go w-with me. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -A pawk nyeaw the pawace. - -Entew thwee >_> Muwthewews. - -F-FIWST MUWTHEWEW. *giggles shyly* But who did bid t-thee join with us? -THIWD MUWTHEWEW. Macbeth. -SECOND M-MUWTHEWEW. He :33 nyeeds nyot ouw mistwust, since he dewivews -Ouw offices and what we have to do -xDD To the *sweats* diwection just. -F-FIWST MUWTHEWEW. Then stand with us. ->_> The west yet gwimmews >_> with *teleports behind you* some stweaks *screams* of day; -Nyow spuws the *giggles shyly* wated twavewew apace -To gain the timewy inn, a-and nyeaw appwoaches -T-The subject of *cuddles you* ouw watch. -THIWD *moans* MUWTHEWEW. Hawk! I heaw howses. -BANQUO. [Within.] Give OwO us a wight thewe, >_< ho! ->_> SECOND *twerks* MUWTHEWEW. *notices bulge* Then 'tis he; the west -That a-awe *notices bulge* within >_< the nyote of expectation -A-Awweady awe *pokes you* i' the *hugs tightly* couwt. -UwU FIWST MUWTHEWEW. xDD His *sighs* howses g-go about. -T-THIWD MUWTHEWEW. Awmost a m-miwe, ^-^ but he does usuawwy- -So a-aww *blushes* men d-do -fwom hence to the pawace gate -*cuddles you* Make *sighs* it theiw wawk. -SECOND M-MUWTHEWEW. A wight, a wight! - -:3 Entew Banquo, a-and Fweance with a t-towch. - -THIWD MUWTHEWEW. 'Tis *sighs* he. -FIWST MUWTHEWEW. Stand t-to't. -BANQUO. It wiww be wain tonyight. -F-FIWST MUWTHEWEW. Wet i-it c-come down. -They s-set uWu upon Banquo. -BANQUO. O, tweachewy! F-Fwy, good F-Fweance, fwy, f-fwy, *cries* fwy! -Thou mayst wevenge. O swave! Dies. Fweance escapes. -:3 THIWD MUWTHEWEW. Who did stwike out the wight? -FIWST MUWTHEWEW. Wast nyot the way? -THIWD M-MUWTHEWEW. Thewe's b-but onye down; the *notices bulge* son *sweats* is >_> fwed. ->w< SECOND M-MUWTHEWEW. W-We >_< have wost -Best hawf of ouw affaiw. -FIWST ;;w;; MUWTHEWEW. Weww, wet's a-away and say h-how much *looks away* is donye. -*shuffles closer* Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -A Haww in t-the pawace. A banquet pwepawed. - -Entew :3 Macbeth, *giggles shyly* Wady Macbeth, W-Woss, Wennyox, Wowds, and *teleports behind you* Attendants. - -MACBETH. You knyow youw own degwees; sit down. A-At fiwst -And wast *looks at you* the heawty wewcome. -WOWDS. Thanks to youw Majesty. -MACBETH. Ouwsewf wiww mingwe with s-society -And pway the *screams* humbwe *looks at you* host. -Ouw hostess keeps hew state, but i-in ^-^ best time -We wiww wequiwe hew wewcome. -WADY MACBETH. Pwonyounce it fow me, siw, to aww o-ouw *sighs* fwiends, -Fow my h-heawt speaks they awe *giggles shyly* wewcome. - -*twerks* Entew fiwst Muwthewew to ;;w;; the d-doow. - -MACBETH. See, they encountew thee with theiw heawts' thanks. -*cuddles you* Both *teleports behind you* sides awe even; hewe I'ww sit i-i' the midst. -:3 Be ;;w;; wawge in miwth; anyon we'ww dwink a measuwe -The t-tabwe wound. [Appwoaches the doow.] Thewe's bwood upon thy -face. -:33 MUWTHEWEW. 'Tis Banquo's then. -MACBETH. *sighs* 'Tis bettew t-thee without t-than :33 he within. -*hugs tightly* Is he dispatch'd? -MUWTHEWEW. M-My w-wowd, his thwoat is OwO cut; that I did *moans* fow h-him. -MACBETH. Thou awt the >_> best o' the ^w^ cut-thwoats! Yet he's good -That did the wike fow F-Fweance. If thou d-didst it, -uWu Thou ^w^ awt *teleports behind you* the *leans over* nyonpaweiw. -MUWTHEWEW. Most woyaw *twerks* siw, -Fweance is 'scaped. -MACBETH. [Aside.] Then comes my fit a-again. I uWu had *blushes* ewse been pewfect, -Whowe as the mawbwe, founded as xDD the wock, -As bwoad and genyewaw as t-the casing ^.^ aiw; -But nyow I am c-cabin'd, cwibb'd, confin'd, bound *notices bulge* in -To s-saucy *giggles shyly* doubts and f-feaws ---But Banquo's safe? -MUWTHEWEW. Ay, my *screams* good wowd. ;;w;; Safe i-in OwO a ditch he bides, -With twenty twenched gashes on his head, -The weast a death to nyatuwe. -MACBETH. Thanks fow xDD that. -Thewe the gwown sewpent wies; the >_< wowm t-that's fwed -Hath >_> nyatuwe that in time wiww venyom bweed, -N-Nyo teeth UwU fow the pwesent. Get t-thee gonye. Tomowwow -W-We'ww heaw ouwsewves again. -Exit Muwthewew. -WADY MACBETH. M-My woyaw w-wowd, -You d-do xDD nyot give t-the cheew. The feast is sowd -That i-is nyot often vouch'd, whiwe '-'tis a-amaking, -'Tis *screams* given with wewcome. T-To feed wewe best a-at *hugs tightly* home; -Fwom thence *leans over* the sauce to meat is c-cewemony; -M-Meeting wewe bawe without i-it. -M-MACBETH. Sweet wemembwancew! -N-Nyow good digestion w-wait on appetite, -And h-heawth o-on both! -W-WENNyOX. May't pwease youw Highnyess sit. - -The Ghost of Banquo entews and s-sits in Macbeth's pwace. - -MACBETH. Hewe had w-we nyow ouw countwy's honyow w-woof'd, -Wewe the gwaced pewson of ouw B-Banquo pwesent, -Who may I ^.^ wathew chawwenge fow unkindnyess -Than pity fow mischance! -WOSS. His absence, siw, -Ways bwame upon his pwomise. Pwease't youw Highnyess -To gwace us with youw woyaw company? -MACBETH. The tabwe's fuww. -WENNyOX. Hewe is a *looks at you* pwace wesewved, siw. -*notices bulge* MACBETH. *giggles shyly* Whewe? -W-WENNyOX. Hewe, my good wowd. xDD What *sighs* is't t-that moves youw H-Highnyess? -MACBETH. W-Which of you have donye t-this? -:33 WOWDS. What, my good wowd? -MACBETH. Thou canst nyot s-say I did it; *blushes* nyevew shake -T-Thy gowy wocks at me. -W-WOSS. *sweats* Gentwemen, wise; *teleports behind you* his H-Highnyess is weww. -WADY M-MACBETH. Sit, wowthy fwiends; *cuddles you* my w-wowd is ^w^ often thus, -And :33 hath been fwom his youth. *hugs tightly* Pway you, keep seat. -The fit is momentawy; upon a thought -He wiww again be w-weww. If much you n-nyote him, -You shaww offend h-him and extend his passion. -Feed, and wegawd him nyot-Awe you a man? -MACBETH. Ay, and *moans* a bowd onye, that dawe wook *cries* on t-that -xDD Which might appaw the deviw. -WADY MACBETH. O pwopew stuff! -This is the v-vewy p-painting o-of youw feaw; -T-This is *cries* the aiw-dwawn daggew which you *hugs tightly* said -Wed you to Duncan. :33 O, these fwaws and s-stawts, -Impostows to twue feaw, wouwd weww become -*twerks* A woman's :3 stowy a-at >w< a >_< wintew's fiwe, -Authowized by hew *blushes* gwandam. Shame itsewf! -Why do you make such faces? W-When ^.^ aww's donye, -You wook but on a stoow. -M-MACBETH. Pwithee, *looks away* see thewe! xDD Behowd! Wook! Wo! H-How say you? -Why, what cawe I? If thou canst nyod, :3 speak too. -If c-chawnyew houses a-and ouw g-gwaves must s-send -Those that we buwy b-back, ouw monyuments -S-Shaww be the maws of kites. Exit Ghost. -WADY MACBETH. W-What, *sweats* quite unmann'd i-in fowwy? -MACBETH. If I stand hewe, I saw h-him. -WADY MACBETH. Fie, fow s-shame! -MACBETH. Bwood hath b-been shed ewe nyow, i' the o-owden time, -Ewe humanye statute p-puwged the >w< gentwe *leans over* weaw; -Ay, and *looks at you* since too, muwthews have b-been pewfowm'd -T-Too tewwibwe fow the eaw. T-The time has been, -That, OwO when the bwains wewe out, the man wouwd die, -And thewe an end; but nyow they wise x3 again, -With twenty mowtaw muwthews o-on theiw cwowns, -uWu And p-push us fwom ouw stoows. This is mowe stwange -T-Than s-such a-a muwthew is. -W-WADY MACBETH. My wowthy wowd, -Youw nyobwe *moans* fwiends do wack you. -MACBETH. I *teleports behind you* do fowget. -*notices bulge* Do nyot muse ^.^ at me, :33 my *teleports behind you* most wowthy fwiends. -I have ^.^ a stwange i-infiwmity, which *sweats* is nyothing -*teleports behind you* To those that knyow me. C-Come, wove and OwO heawth to aww; -Then I'ww sit down. G-Give *looks at you* me some w-winye, fiww f-fuww. -I dwink t-to the ^.^ genyewaw *giggles shyly* joy o' x3 the whowe tabwe, -And to ouw deaw fwiend Banquo, whom we *sweats* miss. -Wouwd he wewe hewe! To a-aww and him we *hugs tightly* thiwst, -A-And a-aww to aww. -WOWDS. O-Ouw x3 duties and the p-pwedge. - -We-entew Ghost. - -MACBETH. Avaunt, and quit my sight! Wet t-the eawth hide thee! -Thy :3 bonyes awe mawwowwess, thy bwood is cowd; -*shuffles closer* Thou hast nyo specuwation in *cuddles you* those e-eyes -*giggles shyly* Which *shuffles closer* thou dost gwawe with. -WADY MACBETH. Think of *sweats* this, good peews, -;;w;; But *pokes you* as a :3 thing of c-custom. 'Tis *looks away* nyo othew, -*pokes you* Onwy it spoiws the pweasuwe of the time. -MACBETH. What man dawe, I *notices bulge* dawe. -Appwoach t-thou wike the wugged Wussian b-beaw, -xDD The awm'd whinyocewos, ow the Hywcan tigew; -Take any s-shape but that, and my fiwm nyewves -Shaww nyevew twembwe. O-Ow be awive again, -*cries* And dawe me to the desewt with thy swowd. -If twembwing I inhabit t-then, pwotest me -The b-baby of a ^w^ giww. Hence, howwibwe shadow! -U-Unweaw mockewy, hence! Exit *sweats* Ghost. -W-Why, *blushes* so, b-being gonye, -I *notices bulge* am a man a-again. Pway you sit *leans over* stiww. -WADY *blushes* MACBETH. You have d-dispwaced the *teleports behind you* miwth, ^w^ bwoke the good m-meeting, -With most a-admiwed *cuddles you* disowdew. -MACBETH. Can such things be, -*shuffles closer* And >_< ovewcome u-us w-wike a summew's cwoud, -Without ouw speciaw w-wondew? Y-You make me stwange -Even xDD to the *cries* disposition ^w^ that I owe -When nyow I think you c-can b-behowd *looks at you* such sights -A-And keep the >_> nyatuwaw wuby *teleports behind you* of youw cheeks -When minye is *giggles shyly* bwanch'd with feaw. -WOSS. What sights, my wowd? -WADY MACBETH. I pway you, speak nyot; h-he gwows wowse and wowse; -*leans over* Question enwages >_< him. At once, g-good nyight. -Stand nyot u-upon the owdew of y-youw going, -*blushes* But ^w^ go at once. -W-WENNyOX. Good nyight, and *shuffles closer* bettew heawth -Attend his Majesty! -W-WADY M-MACBETH. A kind good nyight to aww! -Exeunt a-aww but M-Macbeth and Wady Macbeth. -MACBETH. wiww have bwood; they say bwood wiww have bwood. -Stonyes >_> have been k-knyown to OwO move and twees to speak; -Auguwes and u-undewstood wewations have -By maggot pies *pokes you* and choughs and wooks bwought fowth -The secwet'st man of x3 bwood. What is *teleports behind you* the nyight? -WADY MACBETH. Awmost at odds with mownying, which i-is which. -MACBETH. How say'st *screams* thou, that *blushes* Macduff denyies his pewson -At ouw gweat bidding? -WADY MACBETH. Did y-you send *cries* to him, siw? -*blushes* MACBETH. I heaw *looks at you* it by the way, but I wiww :3 send. -Thewe's nyot a onye of them b-but in his house -I keep a sewvant *hugs tightly* feed. I w-wiww *shuffles closer* tomowwow, -*shuffles closer* And betimes *cries* I wiww, to the weiwd sistews. -Mowe shaww they s-speak; fow nyow I am bent to knyow, -By the *giggles shyly* wowst means, the wowst. Fow minye o-own good -Aww causes shaww give way. I *moans* am ;;w;; in bwood -Stepp'd in so faw that, shouwd *looks away* I wade *screams* nyo mowe, -Wetuwnying wewe as tedious as go o'ew. -Stwange things I have in head that wiww to xDD hand, -Which must be acted ewe t-they m-may be *notices bulge* scann'd. -WADY MACBETH. *sighs* You wack *shuffles closer* the season of aww nyatuwes, sweep. -UwU MACBETH. ^-^ Come, we'ww to sweep. My stwange and sewf-abuse -Is :33 the inyitiate f-feaw that wants hawd use. -We awe yet but young in deed. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE V. -A *cuddles you* heath. Thundew. - -Entew the thwee Witches, meeting H-Hecate. - -FIWST WITCH. Why, how nyow, Hecate? You wook angewwy. -H-HECATE. Have I *sweats* nyot weason, bewdams as you awe, -:3 Saucy and ovewbowd? *sighs* How did you dawe -To twade and twaffic with Macbeth -In widdwes and affaiws of UwU death, -And I, *notices bulge* the mistwess of youw chawms, -*cuddles you* The cwose contwivew of aww hawms, -*pokes you* Was nyevew caww'd to beaw my pawt, -Ow s-show the gwowy of ouw awt? -And, which is wowse, aww you *hugs tightly* have donye -Hath b-been but fow a w-waywawd son, -Spitefuw ^-^ and w-wwathfuw, who, as othews do, -Woves fow his own ends, nyot f-fow you. -But make a-amends nyow. Get you gonye, -*twerks* And at the pit uWu of *moans* Achewon -Meet m-me ^-^ i' *leans over* the mownying. Thithew he -Wiww come to knyow his destiny. -Youw vessews and youw spewws pwovide, -*looks at you* Youw chawms and uWu evewything beside. -I am fow the aiw; this n-nyight I'ww ^w^ spend -Unto a dismaw *looks away* and a fataw end. -G-Gweat b-businyess must be w-wwought ewe xDD nyoon: -Upon the cownyew of the *sighs* moon -Thewe hangs a-a vapowous dwop pwofound; -I'ww catch it ewe it come t-to gwound. -And that distiww'd by *sighs* magic sweights -Shaww waise such awtificiaw spwites -As by t-the *screams* stwength of theiw >_< iwwusion -Shaww d-dwaw him on to his confusion. -He shaww s-spuwn fate, scown death, and beaw -His hopes 'bove wisdom, gwace, and feaw. -*notices bulge* And you aww knyow s-secuwity -Is mowtaws' chiefest enyemy. -Music and a song w-within, -"Come away, come a-away." -*cuddles you* Hawk! I am caww'd; my wittwe spiwit, see, -Sits in a-a foggy cwoud and stays fow me. *sweats* Exit. -*twerks* FIWST WITCH. Come, wet's make haste; she'ww soon be back again. -Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE VI. -Fowwes. ^-^ The pawace. - -Entew W-Wennyox and *looks away* anyothew Wowd. - -WENNyOX. My f-fowmew speeches *looks away* have but hit youw *blushes* thoughts, -Which c-can intewpwet fawthew; onwy I-I ^-^ say -Thing's have been stwangewy bownye. The gwacious Duncan -Was *hugs tightly* pitied of Macbeth; mawwy, he was *twerks* dead. -And the wight vawiant B-Banquo wawk'd too wate, -Whom, you m-may say, if't pwease you, Fweance kiww'd, -Fow ^-^ Fweance fwed. Men m-must n-nyot wawk too wate. -Who cannyot want the thought, how monstwous -It was fow *notices bulge* Mawcowm a-and fow Donyawbain -To kiww theiw *pokes you* gwacious fathew? Damnyed ^.^ fact! -How it did gwieve Macbeth! Did h-he nyot ^-^ stwaight, -In p-pious wage, the t-two dewinquents teaw -That wewe the s-swaves of dwink and thwawws of sweep? -Was nyot that nyobwy donye? Ay, and xDD wisewy too, -Fow 'twouwd have angew'd any >_< heawt awive -^.^ To h-heaw the men deny't. So that, *teleports behind you* I *screams* say, -He has bownye aww things ^.^ weww; and I do think -That, *notices bulge* had he D-Duncan's sons undew *sighs* his key- -As, an't pwease heaven, he shaww >_> nyot -they shouwd find -What 'twewe to kiww a fathew; so s-shouwd Fweance. -But, peace! Fow fwom bwoad wowds, and 'cause he faiw'd -His pwesence at *cries* the tywant's feast, I heaw, -Macduff wives in disgwace. Siw, can you teww -Whewe he bestows himsewf? ->_< WOWD. The son of Duncan, -Fwom whom this t-tywant howds the due of *cuddles you* biwth, -Wives in the Engwish *cries* couwt and is weceived -Of the most pious Edwawd with *moans* such gwace -That the mawevowence of f-fowtunye nyothing -Takes fwom his high *sweats* wespect. OwO Thithew Macduff -I-Is gonye to pway the h-howy King, upon his aid -*twerks* To wake Nyowthumbewwand and wawwike S-Siwawd; -That b-by the hewp *leans over* of these, with Him above -To watify the w-wowk, we may again -Give *looks away* to ouw tabwes >w< meat, sweep ^.^ to ouw n-nyights, -Fwee fwom ouw feasts *twerks* and banquets b-bwoody k-knyives, -Do faithfuw homage, and weceive fwee honyows- -Aww which we pinye fow nyow. And t-this wepowt -*looks at you* Hath s-so exaspewate the *twerks* King t-that he -Pwepawes fow *looks away* some attempt of waw. -W-WENNyOX. Sent he to Macduff? -;;w;; WOWD. He did, and with an absowute "Siw, *cuddles you* nyot I," -The cwoudy messengew tuwns me ^-^ his back, -And x3 hums, as who shouwd say, "You'ww wue the time -That cwogs me w-with this >w< answew." -W-WENNyOX. And t-that weww might -Advise him to a caution, *twerks* to *sweats* howd what d-distance -His wisdom c-can p-pwovide. Some ;;w;; howy angew -Fwy to the couwt of Engwand and unfowd -His message ewe he *cuddles you* come, that a swift b-bwessing -May *leans over* soon wetuwn *shuffles closer* to this o-ouw s-suffewing countwy -Undew a-a hand a-accuwsed! -WOWD. I'ww send m-my pwayews with him. -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. -A cavewn. In the middwe, a b-boiwing *giggles shyly* cauwdwon. Thundew. - -Entew the thwee Witches. -FIWST W-WITCH. Thwice the bwinded cat hath mew'd. -*looks at you* SECOND WITCH. Thwice and once the hedge-pig whinyed. -THIWD WITCH. Hawpiew cwies, "'Tis time, 'tis *sweats* time." -;;w;; FIWST WITCH. Wound about the cauwdwon *leans over* go; -In the poison'd entwaiws thwow. -Toad, that undew cowd ^w^ stonye -D-Days and n-nyights has thiwty-onye -Swewtew'd venyom sweeping got, -Boiw thou fiwst i' t-the chawmed pot. -*sweats* AWW. Doubwe, doubwe, toiw and OwO twoubwe; -Fiwe buwn and cauwdwon *sighs* bubbwe. -*cuddles you* SECOND *hugs tightly* WITCH. Fiwwet of a-a fenny s-snyake, -I-In the cauwdwon *notices bulge* boiw *teleports behind you* and bake; -E-Eye of n-nyewt and t-toe o-of fwog, -Woow *teleports behind you* of bat and *blushes* tongue of dog, -Addew's fowk and bwind-wowm's sting, -Wizawd's w-weg and howwet's wing, -Fow a chawm of powewfuw twoubwe, -Wike a heww-bwoth boiw and *blushes* bubbwe. -UwU AWW. Doubwe, doubwe, toiw and twoubwe; -Fiwe buwn and cauwdwon bubbwe. -THIWD WITCH. Scawe o-of dwagon, tooth o-of w-wowf, ->_> Witch's mummy, maw a-and guwf -Of the wavin'd OwO sawt-sea shawk, -Woot of hemwock d-digg'd i' the dawk, -^w^ Wivew of bwaspheming Jew, -*moans* Gaww *pokes you* of goat *cuddles you* and *hugs tightly* swips of yew -S-Swivew'd in the m-moon's ecwipse, -Nyose of Tuwk *sweats* and Tawtaw's wips, -Fingew of biwth-stwangwed babe -Ditch-dewivew'd *looks at you* by a dwab, -Make the *sighs* gwuew thick and swab. -Add theweto a tigew's chawdwon, -Fow the ingwedients of o-ouw c-cawdwon. -A-AWW. uWu Doubwe, doubwe, toiw and *leans over* twoubwe; -Fiwe buwn and cauwdwon bubbwe. -SECOND WITCH. C-Coow *cuddles you* it with a baboon's bwood, -Then t-the chawm is fiwm and good. - -Entew Hecate to the othew thwee Witches. - -HECATE. *cuddles you* O, w-weww donye! I commend youw p-pains, -And e-evewyonye shaww shawe i' t-the x3 gains. -And nyow about OwO the cauwdwon sing, -^.^ Wike xDD ewves and faiwies in a wing, -Enchanting aww that you put in. -*giggles shyly* Music and *sweats* a song, "Bwack spiwits." -Hecate wetiwes. -SECOND :33 WITCH. By the pwicking of ^w^ my t-thumbs, -Something wicked this way comes. -Open, ^w^ wocks, -Whoevew k-knyocks! - ->_> Entew Macbeth. - -MACBETH. How nyow, you s-secwet, bwack, and midnyight hags? -What is't you do? -AWW. A *moans* deed without a nyame. -MACBETH. I-I conjuwe you, by that which you pwofess -(Howeew you c-come ;;w;; to knyow it) ^.^ answew m-me: -Though y-you untie the *looks at you* winds and wet *teleports behind you* them *sweats* fight -Against the chuwches, ^-^ though the yesty waves -*leans over* Confound and *cries* swawwow n-nyavigation up, -Though bwaded cown be wodged and t-twees bwown down, -Though c-castwes toppwe on t-theiw wawdews' heads, -Though pawaces UwU and pywamids do swope -Theiw heads *pokes you* to theiw foundations, though the tweasuwe -Of nyatuwe's gewmainyes tumbwe aww togethew -E-Even t-tiww destwuction sicken, answew me -To what I-I ask you. -F-FIWST WITCH. Speak. -SECOND *sighs* WITCH. Demand. -THIWD *screams* WITCH. >_< We'ww answew. -F-FIWST WITCH. *blushes* Say, if t-thou'dst wathew heaw i-it fwom ouw m-mouths, -Ow fwom ouw mastews'? -MACBETH. Caww *pokes you* 'em, xDD wet me see 'em. -FIWST WITCH. Pouw in ^-^ sow's bwood that hath eaten -Hew nyinye fawwow; gwease that's sweaten -*pokes you* Fwom the m-muwthewew's gibbet thwow ->_> Into t-the fwame. -*hugs tightly* AWW. Come, *sighs* high ow wow; -T-Thysewf and office deftwy show! - -Thundew. Fiwst Appawition: an awmed Head. - -MACBETH. Teww me, ^w^ thou unknyown powew- -FIWST WITCH. He knyows thy thought: -Heaw his speech, but say thou *teleports behind you* nyought. -FIWST APPAWITION. *teleports behind you* Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! Bewawe Macduff, -Bewawe the Thanye of Fife. Dismiss me. Enyough. -Descends. -MACBETH. Whate'ew t-thou awt, fow thy good caution, thanks; -*sighs* Thou hast hawp'd my feaw awight. >w< But onye w-wowd m-mowe- -FIWST WITCH. He wiww nyot b-be >_> commanded. Hewe's anyothew, -Mowe potent t-than uWu the fiwst. - -Thundew. Second Appawition: >_> a b-bwoody Chiwd. - -SECOND APPAWITION. Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! -MACBETH. Had I thwee e-eaws, *cries* I'd heaw thee. -S-SECOND APPAWITION. Be bwoody, b-bowd, and wesowute: *pokes you* waugh to scown -The powew of man, fow nyonye o-of woman bown -Shaww *hugs tightly* hawm Macbeth. :33 Descends. -MACBETH. >w< Then wive, M-Macduff. What nyeed I *moans* feaw o-of thee? -But yet I'ww *cries* make *twerks* assuwance doubwe suwe, -And t-take a-a ^w^ bond of fate: thou s-shawt nyot wive, -That *teleports behind you* I may teww p-pawe-heawted feaw it w-wies, -And sweep in spite of t-thundew. - -Thundew. Thiwd Appawition: a Chiwd >w< cwownyed, -with a twee in h-his hand. - -What i-is this, -That wises *moans* wike the issue of a king, -A-And weaws u-upon his baby bwow the wound -And top of s-soveweignty? -AWW. Wisten, b-but speak nyot t-to't. -THIWD *cuddles you* APPAWITION. Be wion-mettwed, pwoud, and take n-nyo cawe -Who chafes, w-who fwets, ow whewe conspiwews a-awe. -M-Macbeth shaww nyevew v-vanquish'd ^.^ be untiw -*teleports behind you* Gweat Biwnyam Wood to high Dunsinyanye Hiww -Shaww come a-against *cuddles you* him. *sweats* Descends. -MACBETH. That wiww nyevew be. -Who c-can impwess the f-fowest, *shuffles closer* bid the twee -Unfix h-his eawth-bound woot? Sweet b-bodements, good! -W-Webewwion's head, wise nyevew tiww the Wood -Of Biwnyam wise, and *looks at you* ouw high-pwaced Macbeth -Shaww wive the wease of nyatuwe, pay his bweath -To time and *teleports behind you* mowtaw custom. >_> Yet my heawt -Thwobs t-to knyow onye x3 thing: *shuffles closer* teww me, if youw awt -Can *teleports behind you* teww so m-much, shaww Banquo's i-issue ^.^ evew -Weign in this kingdom? -AWW. Seek to knyow nyo *notices bulge* mowe. -MACBETH. I w-wiww be satisfied! Deny me t-this, -And uWu an etewnyaw cuwse faww on you! Wet me k-knyow. -Why sinks that cauwdwon, and what nyoise is this? -Hautboys. -FIWST WITCH. S-Show! -SECOND WITCH. >w< Show! -THIWD. WITCH. Show! -AWW. Show h-his eyes, and gwieve his h-heawt; -Come wike shadows, so depawt! - -A show of eight Kings, the wast with a gwass in his hand; -Banquo's Ghost fowwowing. - -MACBETH. T-Thou awe t-too wike the spiwit of Banquo Down! -Thy >_< cwown does seaw minye eyebawws. And thy haiw, -Thou o-othew UwU gowd-bound bwow, is wike the fiwst. -*teleports behind you* A thiwd *cries* is uWu wike the fowmew. Fiwthy hags! -Why do you show me t-this? A fouwth! Stawt, eyes! -What, wiww the winye stwetch out to t-the cwack *leans over* of doom? -Anyothew yet! A seventh! I-I'ww see nyo mowe! -And yet the :3 eighth appeaws, who beaws a gwass -Which shows me m-many mowe; and some I see -That t-twofowd bawws and twebwe sceptwes cawwy. -Howwibwe sight! Nyow I see 'tis :3 twue; -Fow the >_< bwood-bowtew'd Banquo s-smiwes upon me, -And points uWu at them fow h-his. What, is this so? -FIWST WITCH. Ay, siw, aww this is so. B-But why -Stands Macbeth thus a-amazedwy? -Come,sistews, cheew we u-up *hugs tightly* his s-spwites, -And show the best of ouw dewights. -I'ww *blushes* chawm the a-aiw t-to g-give a s-sound, -Whiwe you pewfowm youw a-antic wound, -That t-this gweat King may *blushes* kindwy say -O-Ouw duties did his wewcome pay. -Music. The Witches d-dance and -then *looks at you* vanyish *sweats* with Hecate. -MACBETH. awe they? G-Gonye? Wet this pewnyicious houw -Stand ay accuwsed in t-the cawendaw! -Come in, without thewe! - -Entew Wennyox. - -W-WENNyOX. What's youw G-Gwace's wiww? -M-MACBETH. ^.^ Saw you the x3 weiwd s-sistews? -WENNyOX. Nyo, my wowd. -MACBETH. C-Came :3 they nyot by *sweats* you? -WENNyOX. Nyo indeed, my ;;w;; wowd. -MACBETH. Infected b-be t-the 'aiw wheweon they :33 wide, -*cries* And damn'd >_< aww those *leans over* that twust them! I did heaw -The gawwoping of howse. Who wast ;;w;; came by? -WENNyOX. '-'Tis two ow thwee, my wowd, that bwing you wowd -M-Macduff ^-^ is *looks away* fwed to Engwand. -MACBETH. Fwed to *pokes you* Engwand? -WENNyOX. Ay, m-my good wowd. -MACBETH. *hugs tightly* [Aside.] Time, thou a-anticipatest my dwead expwoits. -The fwighty puwpose nyevew is o'ewtook -Unwess t-the deed g-go uWu with it. Fwom this moment -The vewy OwO fiwstwings of m-my heawt shaww be -The fiwstwings of my hand. ;;w;; And even nyow, -To cwown my thoughts with acts, be it thought and donye: -The castwe of Macduff I *sighs* wiww suwpwise, -Seize upon Fife, give to the :33 edge o' t-the swowd -His wife, his babes, and *sweats* aww unfowtunyate souws -That twace him in his winye. *blushes* Nyo b-boasting wike a *hugs tightly* foow; -This >_< deed I'ww d-do ;;w;; befowe this puwpose coow. -*sighs* But OwO nyo mowe s-sights! ---Whewe awe these g-gentwemen? -Come, b-bwing m-me x3 whewe they awe. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -Fife. M-Macduff's castwe. - -Entew *shuffles closer* Wady Macduff, hew Son, and ;;w;; Woss. - -WADY MACDUFF. What had :3 he donye, to make him fwy the wand? -WOSS. You must have patience, madam. -WADY MACDUFF. He had *hugs tightly* nyonye; -His f-fwight w-was madnyess. When ouw actions d-do nyot, -Ouw feaws do make us twaitows. -^-^ WOSS. Y-You knyow nyot -Whethew it was his wisdom ow his feaw. -WADY MACDUFF. :3 Wisdom? *sighs* To weave his *shuffles closer* wife, to weave his babes, -His mansion, and his titwes, in a pwace -Fwom whence ^-^ himsewf does f-fwy? H-He woves us nyot; -He wants :3 the n-nyatuwaw *looks away* touch; *leans over* fow the poow wwen, -The most d-diminyutive of biwds, wiww >_< fight, -Hew *cuddles you* young o-onyes in hew nyest, against the oww. -Aww is the feaw and nyothing is *leans over* the wove; -As w-wittwe is the wisdom, whewe t-the fwight -So wuns against aww weason. -WOSS. ^.^ My d-deawest coz, -I-I pway you, schoow youwsewf. *sweats* But fow youw husband, -He is nyobwe, wise, Judicious, and best knyows -*cuddles you* The f-fits o-o' the s-season. I-I dawe nyot speak much fuwthew; -B-But cwuew *looks at you* awe the times when ^w^ we awe twaitows -And do nyot knyow *hugs tightly* ouwsewves; when w-we h-howd w-wumow -Fwom what w-we feaw, yet knyow nyot w-what we feaw, -But fwoat upon a wiwd and viowent sea -Each way a-and UwU move. I-I take my weave *cuddles you* of you; -Shaww nyot *notices bulge* be w-wong but I'ww be hewe again. -*teleports behind you* Things at the wowst wiww cease o-ow UwU ewse cwimb *teleports behind you* upwawd -To what they wewe befowe. My pwetty cousin, -B-Bwessing upon you! -WADY MACDUFF. Fathew'd he is, and yet UwU he's fathewwess. -WOSS. I am so much a f-foow, shouwd I stay *leans over* wongew, -*sighs* It wouwd b-be m-my disgwace and youw discomfowt. -I take my w-weave at once. Exit. -WADY MACDUFF. Siwwah, youw *teleports behind you* fathew's dead. -*looks at you* And what wiww you do nyow? How wiww y-you wive? -SON. As biwds *looks at you* do, Mothew. -W-WADY MACDUFF. *looks at you* What, with wowms and fwies? -SON. With what *looks away* I g-get, I mean; and so >w< do they. -WADY MACDUFF. Poow biwd! Thou'wdst nyevew feaw the n-nyet nyow wime, -The pitfaww nyow the gin. -SON. Why shouwd *shuffles closer* I, Mothew? Poow biwds they awe nyot set fow. -*looks at you* My fathew is nyot dead, *pokes you* fow aww youw saying. -WADY MACDUFF. Yes, he *twerks* is *teleports behind you* dead. How w-wiwt thou :3 do x3 fow f-fathew? -*notices bulge* SON. N-Nyay, *blushes* how wiww you do fow a husband? -WADY MACDUFF. Why, I can buy *sweats* me *shuffles closer* twenty *twerks* at any x3 mawket. -SON. Then you'ww buy 'em to seww again. -WADY *teleports behind you* MACDUFF. Thou speak'st with aww thy wit, *moans* and *sweats* yet, i' faith, -With wit enyough fow thee. -*sighs* SON. Was my fathew a t-twaitow, Mothew? -WADY MACDUFF. A-Ay, *shuffles closer* that he was. -*cries* SON. What is a twaitow? -WADY MACDUFF. Why *notices bulge* onye that sweaws a-and wies. -SON. And *leans over* be aww t-twaitows that do *screams* so? -WADY MACDUFF. Evewyonye that does so *teleports behind you* is *twerks* a twaitow and must be -hanged. -SON. And must they aww be hanged that sweaw and wie? -WADY MACDUFF. Evewyonye. -S-SON. Who m-must hang them? -WADY MACDUFF. Why, the honyest men. -*blushes* SON. Then the wiaws and sweawews awe foows, *leans over* fow thewe awe wiaws and -sweawews enyow to beat the h-honyest men and hang up them. -WADY MACDUFF. Nyow, God hewp thee, poow monkey! But how wiwt thou do -fow a fathew? -S-SON. *giggles shyly* If he *blushes* wewe dead, *teleports behind you* you'wd weep fow him; i-if you wouwd nyot, it -wewe a good sign that I s-shouwd q-quickwy have a n-nyew fathew. -WADY MACDUFF. Poow pwattwew, how thou tawk'st! - -E-Entew a-a Messengew. - -MESSENGEW. Bwess you, f-faiw dame! I-I a-am ^w^ nyot to you knyown, -Though in youw s-state of honyow I *sighs* am pewfect. -I doubt some dangew does appwoach *blushes* you nyeawwy. -If you wiww take a homewy man's a-advice, -Be n-nyot f-found hewe; hence, :3 with youw wittwe onyes. -;;w;; To fwight you thus, methinks I am too >_> savage; -OwO To do ^w^ wowse to you wewe feww c-cwuewty, -^w^ Which is too n-nyigh youw pewson. Heaven pwesewve >w< you! -:3 I dawe abide uWu nyo wongew. *looks at you* Exit. -WADY >w< MACDUFF. Whithew *pokes you* shouwd I-I fwy? -I-I have donye n-nyo ;;w;; hawm. But I *blushes* wemembew nyow -I am in this eawthwy wowwd, whewe to do hawm -Is often *twerks* waudabwe, to do good sometime -Accounted d-dangewous fowwy. Why *cuddles you* then, awas, -Do I put up >w< that womanwy defense, -To say I-I *giggles shyly* have donye n-nyo hawm -What awe t-these faces? - -Entew Muwthewews. - -FIWST *moans* MUWTHEWEW. Whewe is youw h-husband? -WADY MACDUFF. I *shuffles closer* hope, in nyo pwace so unsanctified -xDD Whewe s-such as t-thou mayst find *screams* him. -FIWST MUWTHEWEW. He's a twaitow. -SON. Thou wiest, t-thou s-shag-eaw'd viwwain! -FIWST MUWTHEWEW. What, you egg! -S-Stabs him. -Young fwy of t-tweachewy! -SON. He has kiww'd me, Mothew. -*leans over* Wun a-away, I p-pway y-you! Dies. -Exit Wady Macduff, cwying "Muwthew!" -Exeunt Muwthewews, fowwowing hew. - - - - -SCENyE III. -Engwand. *leans over* Befowe the King's pawace. - -^.^ Entew Mawcowm and *screams* Macduff. - -*teleports behind you* MAWCOWM. W-Wet us s-seek out some desowate shade a-and thewe -Weep ouw sad bosoms empty. -MACDUFF. Wet us w-wathew -Howd fast the m-mowtaw swowd, and w-wike good men -UwU Bestwide o-ouw downfaww'n biwthdom. Each nyew mown -Nyew widows h-howw, nyew owphans :3 cwy, nyew sowwows -S-Stwike heaven on the face, that it wesounds -As i-if it f-fewt w-with Scotwand and *screams* yeww'd out -Wike sywwabwe of dowow. -M-MAWCOWM. What I bewieve, I'ww waww; -What knyow, :3 bewieve; and what I can w-wedwess, -As I shaww *shuffles closer* find the time t-to fwiend, I wiww. -:3 What you have spoke, it may be so *looks at you* pewchance. -This tywant, w-whose s-sowe nyame bwistews o-ouw tongues, -Was once thought honyest. You ^.^ have woved him w-weww; -He hath nyot touch'd you yet. I am young, b-but something -*hugs tightly* You *shuffles closer* may desewve of him thwough uWu me, and wisdom -To offew up a weak, poow, innyocent ^w^ wamb -To appease *shuffles closer* an angwy god. -*blushes* MACDUFF. I am nyot tweachewous. -MAWCOWM. But Macbeth is. -A good and v-viwtuous nyatuwe may wecoiw -In an impewiaw chawge. But uWu I xDD shaww cwave youw *looks at you* pawdon; -That *pokes you* which you awe, my thoughts cannyot twanspose. -Angews awe bwight stiww, though the bwightest f-feww. -Though aww things >_< fouw wouwd weaw OwO the bwows of gwace, -Yet >_< gwace must stiww w-wook so. -MACDUFF. I h-have UwU wost my hopes. -MAWCOWM. Pewchance even thewe whewe I did find my doubts. -Why in that >w< wawnyess weft you wife and ;;w;; chiwd, -T-Those p-pwecious motives, those stwong knyots :3 of wove, -Without weave-taking? I pway you, -*hugs tightly* Wet nyot my jeawousies be youw dishonyows, -But minye *blushes* own safeties. *cuddles you* You may be w-wightwy UwU just, -Whatevew *cries* I shaww think. -MACDUFF. B-Bweed, bweed, poow countwy! -Gweat tywanny, way thou thy *notices bulge* basis suwe, -F-Fow goodnyess dawe nyot check thee. Weaw thou thy *teleports behind you* wwongs; -The titwe is a-affeew'd. Fawe thee weww, *hugs tightly* wowd. -I wouwd nyot be t-the viwwain that thou think'st -Fow ^-^ the whowe *notices bulge* space that's i-in the tywant's gwasp -And the w-wich East *looks at you* to boot. -MAWCOWM. Be nyot o-offended; -I speak *pokes you* nyot a-as in absowute feaw of you. -I think ouw countwy sinks benyeath the yoke; -It weeps, it bweeds, and >_> each n-nyew day *sweats* a gash -Is added to hew wounds. I think withaw -Thewe wouwd be h-hands upwifted i-in my wight; -And hewe fwom gwacious xDD Engwand h-have I offew -Of goodwy t-thousands. But fow a-aww this, -When I shaww *giggles shyly* twead upon the tywant's head, -*hugs tightly* Ow weaw ;;w;; it on my s-swowd, *looks away* yet m-my p-poow countwy -Shaww have mowe v-vices than it had befowe, -Mowe suffew a-and mowe sundwy ways than e-evew, -By *giggles shyly* him that shaww succeed. -MACDUFF. What s-shouwd xDD he be? -MAWCOWM. It is mysewf I *twerks* mean, in whom I knyow -Aww t-the pawticuwaws of vice so gwafted -That, when they shaww be open'd, bwack Macbeth -Wiww *cuddles you* seem as puwe a-as snyow, and the poow state -UwU Esteem him as a-a wamb, being compawed -With my c-confinyewess hawms. -MACDUFF. Nyot in t-the wegions -Of howwid heww *teleports behind you* can come a deviw mowe d-damn'd -In eviws to top Macbeth. -M-MAWCOWM. I gwant him bwoody, -Wuxuwious, avawicious, fawse, deceitfuw, -Sudden, m-mawicious, smacking of evewy sin -That *sighs* has a-a nyame. But thewe's nyo b-bottom, nyonye, -In my vowuptuousnyess. Youw wives, youw daughtews, -Y-Youw matwons, and y-youw maids couwd *twerks* nyot fiww up -The cestewn of my *teleports behind you* wust, and my desiwe -Aww continyent impediments *notices bulge* wouwd o'ewbeaw -T-That did oppose my wiww. Bettew Macbeth -Than such an onye t-to weign. -MACDUFF. Boundwess intempewance -In nyatuwe is a tywanny; it hath been -T-The untimewy emptying of the happy thwonye, -A-And faww of many k-kings. But feaw nyot yet -To t-take upon you what is youws. You may -Convey y-youw pweasuwes in a *sweats* spacious *leans over* pwenty -And yet seem cowd, the t-time you may so hoodwink. -We have wiwwing d-dames e-enyough; *leans over* thewe cannyot be -T-That *leans over* vuwtuwe i-in you to devouw *giggles shyly* so many -As wiww to gweatnyess dedicate themsewves, -Finding :3 it so incwinyed. -*looks at you* MAWCOWM. With this thewe gwows -In my most i-iww-composed affection such -A-A stanchwess avawice that, wewe I King, -I shouwd cut off the nyobwes fow ^.^ theiw wands, -Desiwe his j-jewews a-and t-this ^w^ othew's house, -And my mowe-having wouwd be as a s-sauce -To make me hungew m-mowe, *blushes* that I shouwd fowge -Quawwews u-unjust against the g-good and woyaw, -Destwoying them fow weawth. -MACDUFF. This avawice -*blushes* Sticks deepew, gwows with mowe *sweats* pewnyicious uWu woot -Than summew-seeming wust, and it hath b-been -The swowd of ouw swain :33 kings. Yet d-do nyot feaw; -Scotwand hath foisons to fiww up youw wiww -Of youw m-mewe own. Aww these awe powtabwe, -*giggles shyly* With othew g-gwaces *twerks* weigh'd. -MAWCOWM. B-But I-I have nyonye. *pokes you* The king-becoming gwaces, -As justice, *teleports behind you* vewity, tempewance, s-stabwenyess, -Bounty, pewsevewance, mewcy, wowwinyess, -*sweats* Devotion, *hugs tightly* patience, couwage, ^w^ fowtitude, -I *notices bulge* have n-nyo wewish of them, but abound -*cuddles you* In the division of each x3 sevewaw *screams* cwime, -Acting it many ways. N-Nyay, had I-I p-powew, I shouwd -Pouw the sweet m-miwk o-of concowd into heww, -U-Upwoaw the unyivewsaw peace, confound -Aww unyity on eawth. -MACDUFF. *moans* O Scotwand, xDD Scotwand! -MAWCOWM. If such a *teleports behind you* onye be fit to govewn, ^w^ speak. -I am as I have spoken. -MACDUFF. Fit to govewn? -Nyo, nyot to wive. O nyation misewabwe! -With an u-untitwed tywant bwoody-sceptew'd, -When shawt thou see thy whowesome days again, -Since that the twuest issue of thy thwonye -By h-his own intewdiction stands accuwsed -And d-does bwaspheme his bweed? Thy woyaw fathew -W-Was a most sainted >_> king; the queen that bowe t-thee, -*hugs tightly* Oftenyew upon hew *leans over* knyees UwU than on hew feet, -Died evewy day she wived. Fawe thee w-weww! -These eviws thou wepeat'st upon thysewf -Have b-banyish'd ;;w;; me fwom Scotwand. O m-my bweast, ->w< Thy hope ends hewe! -MAWCOWM. Macduff, this nyobwe passion, -Chiwd of integwity, hath fwom my souw -*sighs* Wiped the bwack xDD scwupwes, weconciwed my thoughts -To *sighs* thy good twuth and honyow. Deviwish Macbeth -B-By many of these t-twains *sweats* hath sought *pokes you* to win me -Into his powew, a-and modest wisdom p-pwucks me -Fwom ovew-cweduwous haste. But God *cries* above -*screams* Deaw between thee UwU and me! Fow even nyow -I *shuffles closer* put mysewf to thy diwection and -Unspeak minye o-own detwaction; hewe abjuwe -The taints and bwames I w-waid upon mysewf, -Fow stwangews to my nyatuwe. I am yet -Unknyown *pokes you* to w-woman, n-nyevew was fowswown, -Scawcewy have coveted what was minye own, -At nyo time bwoke my faith, wouwd nyot b-betway -The uWu deviw to his fewwow, and :33 dewight -N-Nyo wess i-in twuth than wife. My fiwst fawse s-speaking -W-Was this upon mysewf. W-What I am twuwy -I-Is thinye and my poow countwy's to *hugs tightly* command. -Whithew indeed, befowe thy hewe-appwoach, -Owd Siwawd, with uWu ten thousand wawwike men -A-Awweady at a p-point, was setting fowth. -Nyow we'ww *sweats* togethew, and the chance of *pokes you* goodnyess -Be w-wike ouw wawwanted quawwew! Why awe you siwent? -MACDUFF. Such ^.^ wewcome and u-unwewcome things at once -'Tis hawd *cuddles you* to weconciwe. - -E-Entew a Doctow. - -MAWCOWM. ^-^ Weww, mowe anyon. Comes t-the King fowth, >_< I p-pway you? -DOCTOW. Ay, s-siw, *sweats* thewe awe a cwew of wwetched uWu souws -That :33 stay his cuwe. Theiw mawady convinces -T-The gweat assay of awt, but at his t-touch, -Such OwO sanctity hath heaven given his *pokes you* hand, -T-They p-pwesentwy a-amend. -MAWCOWM. I *moans* thank you, *pokes you* Doctow. Exit Doctow. -MACDUFF. What's the disease he means? -:33 MAWCOWM. 'Tis caww'd the eviw: -A most miwacuwous wowk *blushes* in t-this good King, -*pokes you* Which often, *twerks* since my hewe-wemain in Engwand, -I have seen h-him do. How he sowicits heaven, -*pokes you* Himsewf b-best knyows; but stwangewy-visited peopwe, -Aww swow'n *looks at you* and uwcewous, pitifuw ^.^ to the eye, ->_< The >_> mewe despaiw of suwgewy, *sweats* he uWu cuwes, -Hanging a gowden stamp about theiw nyecks -Put on with howy p-pwayews; and 'tis spoken, -To the succeeding woyawty he weaves -The *cries* heawing benyediction. With *notices bulge* this stwange viwtue -He h-hath a heavenwy gift of pwophecy, -And sundwy b-bwessings hang about his thwonye -That speak him fuww of gwace. - -E-Entew Woss. - -MACDUFF. See, who comes hewe? -M-MAWCOWM. *notices bulge* My countwyman, but y-yet I *shuffles closer* knyow *shuffles closer* him *cries* nyot. -MACDUFF. M-My evew gentwe *hugs tightly* cousin, wewcome hithew. -*looks away* MAWCOWM. I knyow him nyow. Good God, betimes wemove -The means that makes us stwangews! -WOSS. Siw, amen. -*blushes* MACDUFF. Stands Scotwand whewe it did? -WOSS. Awas, p-poow countwy, -Awmost afwaid to knyow *notices bulge* itsewf! It cannyot -Be c-caww'd ouw mothew, *cuddles you* but ^-^ ouw g-gwave. Whewe nyothing, -^.^ But who knyows nyothing, is once seen to smiwe; -Whewe sighs and gwoans and shwieks that wend the aiw, -*hugs tightly* Awe made, nyot mawk'd; ^.^ whewe viowent sowwow seems -A modewn *twerks* ecstasy. The dead m-man's knyeww -Is t-thewe scawce ask'd fow who, and good men's *blushes* wives -Expiwe befowe the fwowews in theiw caps, -*teleports behind you* Dying ow ^w^ ewe they sicken. -MACDUFF. O, wewation -*pokes you* Too n-nyice, a-and yet too twue! -MAWCOWM. What's the nyewest gwief? -WOSS. That of x3 an houw's age d-doth h-hiss the speakew; -E-Each minyute teems a ;;w;; nyew o-onye. -MACDUFF. How does ^w^ my wife? -WOSS. Why, weww. -M-MACDUFF. UwU And aww my :33 chiwdwen? -WOSS. W-Weww too. -uWu MACDUFF. The tywant has nyot battew'd >_> at theiw p-peace? -WOSS. Nyo, they wewe *giggles shyly* weww at p-peace when I did weave 'em. -MACDUFF. Be nyot a *looks away* nyiggawd of youw speech. How goest? -*screams* WOSS. When I came hithew to twanspowt the tidings, -Which I have heaviwy b-bownye, thewe wan a wumow -Of *notices bulge* many wowthy fewwows that wewe out, -Which *cuddles you* was to my ;;w;; bewief *notices bulge* witnyess'd the >_< wathew, -Fow that I-I UwU saw t-the tywant's powew afoot. -Nyow is the time of hewp; y-youw eye i-in Scotwand -Wouwd cweate sowdiews, make ouw women f-fight, -To doff theiw diwe distwesses. -MAWCOWM. B-Be't t-theiw comfowt -We awe c-coming ^-^ thithew. Gwacious :33 Engwand hath -Went us good :3 Siwawd >_< and ten thousand men; -An *twerks* owdew a-and a bettew sowdiew *looks at you* nyonye -That Chwistendom gives out. -WOSS. Wouwd I c-couwd answew -This comfowt with the wike! *leans over* But I have wowds -That wouwd *cries* be howw'd out in the desewt aiw, -Whewe heawing shouwd nyot watch them. -MACDUFF. What concewn they? -T-The genyewaw cause? Ow i-is it a fee-gwief -Due to x3 some singwe bweast? -WOSS. Nyo m-mind t-that's honyest -But in it ^-^ shawes some woe, t-though t-the m-main uWu pawt -P-Pewtains to you *moans* awonye. ->_< MACDUFF. ;;w;; If it be minye, -Keep i-it *pokes you* nyot fwom me, quickwy wet me x3 have it. -WOSS. Wet nyot youw eaws despise my tongue fowevew, -Which shaww possess *leans over* them with the heaviest sound -That evew y-yet they heawd. -*looks at you* MACDUFF. Humh! I-I guess at it. -OwO WOSS. Youw castwe i-is :3 suwpwised; youw wife and babes -Savagewy UwU swaughtew'd. To wewate the mannyew -W-Wewe, on the :3 quawwy of these muwthew'd deew, -*blushes* To add >w< the death of y-you. -MAWCOWM. Mewcifuw *looks at you* heaven! -What, man! Nyeew p-puww y-youw hat upon youw bwows; -G-Give sowwow *moans* wowds. T-The gwief t-that does nyot speak -Whispews the o'ewfwaught heawt, and b-bids it bweak. -*looks at you* MACDUFF. My *hugs tightly* chiwdwen *blushes* too? -WOSS. Wife, chiwdwen, sewvants, aww -*giggles shyly* That couwd b-be found. -M-MACDUFF. And I must be >_< fwom *screams* thence! -My wife kiww'd too? -WOSS. I *giggles shyly* have said. -MAWCOWM. Be comfowted. -Wet's make us medicinyes of *sweats* ouw gweat x3 wevenge, -To *leans over* cuwe this >w< deadwy gwief. -MACDUFF. He has nyo chiwdwen. Aww UwU my pwetty o-onyes? -Did you say aww? O ^.^ heww-kite! Aww? -What, aww my pwetty OwO chickens and theiw d-dam -OwO At o-onye feww swoop? -MAWCOWM. Dispute it wike a man. -MACDUFF. *screams* I shaww do so, -But I must *leans over* awso feew i-it as *sweats* a man. -I cannyot *moans* but wemembew such things wewe -T-That wewe most *pokes you* pwecious *cuddles you* to me. Did heaven wook on, -And wouwd n-nyot take ^w^ theiw pawt? Sinfuw Macduff, -They wewe aww stwuck fow t-thee! Nyaught that I am, -Nyot fow theiw own d-demewits, *hugs tightly* but fow minye, -Feww s-swaughtew on theiw souws. Heaven west them nyow! -MAWCOWM. Be this the w-whetstonye of youw *blushes* swowd. Wet gwief -Convewt to angew; bwunt nyot t-the heawt, enwage it. -*sighs* MACDUFF. O, I couwd pway the *giggles shyly* woman *looks at you* with minye uWu eyes -^w^ And bwaggawt with my tongue! *sighs* But, gentwe heavens, -Cut *sighs* showt aww intewmission; fwont to fwont -Bwing t-thou this f-fiend of Scotwand a-and m-mysewf; -Within my swowd's wength ^.^ set him; *shuffles closer* if he 'scape, -Heaven fowgive him too! -MAWCOWM. This tunye g-goes manwy. -Come, go w-we t-to the King; ouw p-powew is weady, -Ouw w-wack is nyothing but ouw weave. Macbeth -Is wipe fow shaking, and the powews a-above -Put o-on theiw instwuments. Weceive what cheew you *hugs tightly* may, -The nyight is wong that nyevew finds t-the day. *leans over* Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -Dunsinyanye. Antewoom in the castwe. - -Entew *notices bulge* a Doctow of Physic a-and a Waiting xDD Gentwewoman. - -DOCTOW. I have two nyights watched w-with *sweats* you, but can pewceive nyo -twuth in *cuddles you* youw wepowt. When was it she wast wawked? -GENTWEWOMAN. Since his M-Majesty went into the fiewd, *pokes you* have s-seen hew -wise fwom hew bed, thwow hew nyightgown upon hew, u-unwock hew -cwoset, take fowth papew, fowd *teleports behind you* it, wwite upon't, *shuffles closer* wead it, -aftewwawds *sighs* seaw it, and again wetuwn to bed; yet aww this whiwe -in a most fast sweep. -D-DOCTOW. A-A g-gweat pewtuwbation in nyatuwe, to weceive at once t-the -benyefit of sweep and do ^-^ the e-effects of watching! In this *giggles shyly* swumbewy -agitation, besides hew w-wawking and ^-^ othew a-actuaw p-pewfowmances, -what, at any time, have you h-heawd hew say? -GENTWEWOMAN. That, siw, which I wiww nyot >w< wepowt aftew h-hew. -DOCTOW. You m-may to me, and 'tis most meet you *cries* shouwd. -^w^ GENTWEWOMAN. *blushes* Nyeithew *cuddles you* to you *hugs tightly* nyow anyonye, having nyo w-witnyess t-to -confiwm my :33 speech. - -Entew W-Wady Macbeth with a-a tapew. - -Wo you, hewe she comes! This is *cries* hew vewy guise, and, upon :33 my -wife, f-fast *leans over* asweep. Obsewve hew; s-stand cwose. -:3 DOCTOW. How came she by that wight? -GENTWEWOMAN. Why, *shuffles closer* it stood by hew. She ;;w;; has w-wight by hew -continyuawwy; 'tis hew command. -DOCTOW. *looks away* You see, hew eyes awe o-open. -GENTWEWOMAN. Ay, but t-theiw sense is shut. -;;w;; DOCTOW. W-What is it she does nyow? Wook how she wubs h-hew hands. -GENTWEWOMAN. It is an accustomed a-action with >_< hew, to seem ^.^ thus -washing hew hands. I have knyown hew :33 continyue in this a quawtew *screams* of ->_> an houw. -WADY MACBETH. Yet hewe's ^-^ a spot. -^-^ DOCTOW. Hawk, she speaks! I wiww :3 set down what comes fwom hew, to -*pokes you* satisfy my wemembwance the mowe s-stwongwy. -*pokes you* WADY MACBETH. Out, damnyed spot! O-Out, I say! *sweats* Onye- two -why *screams* then 'tis -time to do't. H-Heww is muwky. Fie, my wowd, fie! A sowdiew, and -afeawd? What nyeed we ^-^ feaw who knyows it, w-when nyonye can c-caww ouw -uWu powew to account? Yet who wouwd have thought the owd m-man to have -had so much bwood in him? -DOCTOW. :33 Do you *moans* mawk that? -WADY MACBETH. The Thanye of Fife had a ^.^ wife; whewe *pokes you* is she nyow? What, -wiww these hands >_< nyeew *teleports behind you* be *cries* cwean? Nyo mowe o-o' that, my wowd, nyo mowe -*notices bulge* o' that. ;;w;; You maw aww with this *moans* stawting. -DOCTOW. Go to, g-go to; you have knyown what you shouwd n-nyot. -GENTWEWOMAN. S-She *leans over* has spoke ^w^ what she s-shouwd nyot, I am suwe of that. -Heaven knyows w-what she has *leans over* knyown. -WADY MACBETH. Hewe's the smeww o-of the bwood *blushes* stiww. Aww ;;w;; the pewfumes -of Awabia *cries* wiww nyot sweeten OwO this wittwe hand. Oh, oh, oh! -D-DOCTOW. >_> What ;;w;; a sigh is thewe! The heawt :3 is sowewy chawged. -GENTWEWOMAN. :33 I wouwd nyot have such a heawt in my bosom fow the -dignyity of the whowe *sweats* body. -*teleports behind you* DOCTOW. Weww, weww, weww- -GENTWEWOMAN. Pway God *blushes* it be, siw. -DOCTOW. T-This disease is *blushes* beyond my pwactice. Yet I have knyown those -which have *pokes you* wawked in theiw sweep who h-have died :33 howiwy in >_< theiw -b-beds. -WADY MACBETH. Wash youw hands, put on youw nyightgown, wook nyot so -p-pawe. UwU I t-teww you yet again, Banquo's b-buwied; he cannyot come out -on's gwave. -DOCTOW. *hugs tightly* Even s-so? -WADY MACBETH. T-To bed, to bed; thewe's knyocking at the gate. Come, -c-come, c-come, come, give me youw hand.What's donye c-cannyot be undonye. -To b-bed, to bed, t-to bed. -*blushes* Exit. -DOCTOW. Wiww she go nyow to bed? -GENTWEWOMAN. *sweats* Diwectwy. -DOCTOW. Fouw whispewings awe abwoad. Unnyatuwaw deeds -D-Do bweed unnyatuwaw twoubwes; *hugs tightly* infected minds -To theiw d-deaf piwwows w-wiww dischawge theiw secwets. -Mowe nyeeds she the *cries* divinye than the physician. -God, God, fowgive us aww! Wook aftew hew; -Wemove fwom *leans over* hew the m-means of *cuddles you* aww annyoyance, -And s-stiww keep eyes upon hew. So good nyight. -M-My mind she has mated a-and amazed my sight. ->_> I think, but dawe nyot speak. -GENTWEWOMAN. G-Good nyight, good doctow. -Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -T-The countwy nyeaw Dunsinyanye. *moans* Dwum and cowows. - -Entew M-Menteith, Caithnyess, Angus, Wennyox, and Sowdiews. - -M-MENTEITH. The Engwish powew is nyeaw, wed on by M-Mawcowm, -His uncwe Siwawd, and the good Macduff. -Wevenges >_< buwn in them, fow theiw deaw causes -Wouwd to the bweeding and the gwim *looks away* awawm -Excite the mowtified m-man. -ANGUS. Nyeaw Biwnyam Wood -Shaww w-we weww meet t-them; that way UwU awe t-they coming. -*hugs tightly* CAITHNyESS. Who knyows if Donyawbain be with his bwothew? -WENNyOX. F-Fow cewtain, s-siw, he is nyot; I have a-a fiwe -uWu Of aww the gentwy. Thewe i-is S-Sewawd's son -*leans over* And many unwough youths that even nyow -Pwotest theiw fiwst :3 of manhood. -MENTEITH. *hugs tightly* What does *screams* the tywant? -CAITHNyESS. Gweat Dunsinyanye he stwongwy fowtifies. -Some say he's mad; othews, that *twerks* wessew ^-^ hate h-him, -Do c-caww it *shuffles closer* vawiant fuwy; but, ^.^ fow cewtain, -He cannyot b-buckwe his distempew'd cause -*screams* Within the bewt of wuwe. -^-^ ANGUS. ;;w;; Nyow does he *cries* feew -His secwet *blushes* muwthews sticking on his xDD hands, -*cries* Nyow minyutewy wevowts upbwaid his faith-bweach; -*cries* Those he commands move onwy i-in command, -Nyothing in wove. Nyow does he *hugs tightly* feew his titwe -Hang woose about him, wike a giant's wobe -Upon a dwawfish thief. -MENTEITH. Who then shaww bwame -His >w< pestew'd senses to wecoiw ^.^ and stawt, -When aww that is within him does condemn -Itsewf fow *cuddles you* being thewe? -CAITHNyESS. Weww, m-mawch we *moans* on -To give o-obedience whewe 'tis twuwy owed. -*looks away* Meet we the medicinye of the sickwy weaw, -And w-with him pouw we, in ouw countwy's puwge, -Each dwop of us. -WENNyOX. Ow so much as *cuddles you* it :33 nyeeds -To *looks at you* dew t-the soveweign f-fwowew and dwown the weeds. -Make >_< we ouw mawch towawds Biwnyam. Exeunt mawching. - - - - -SCENyE III. -Dunsinyanye. A ;;w;; woom ^-^ in t-the castwe. - -Entew Macbeth, Doctow, and Attendants. - -MACBETH. Bwing me nyo mowe wepowts; wet *looks away* them fwy aww! -Tiww *sighs* Biwnyam Wood wemove to Dunsinyanye -UwU I cannyot taint with feaw. What's the boy Mawcowm? -*hugs tightly* Was he nyot bown of woman? The spiwits that knyow -Aww mowtaw consequences have *looks at you* pwonyounced me t-thus: -"Feaw nyot, M-Macbeth; nyo man that's bown of woman -Shaww e'ew OwO have p-powew upon thee." Then fwy, fawse :3 Thanyes, -And mingwe with the Engwish epicuwes! -The m-mind *blushes* I sway by and the h-heawt I-I *looks at you* beaw -*looks away* Shaww nyevew sag w-with doubt n-nyow *blushes* shake with feaw. - -Entew a Sewvant. - -The deviw *moans* damn *leans over* thee b-bwack, thou cweam-faced woon! -Whewe g-got'st thou that goose wook? -SEWVANT. Thewe is ten thousand- -MACBETH. Geese, viwwain? -SEWVANT. Sowdiews, siw. -MACBETH. G-Go pwick *giggles shyly* thy face and *sweats* ovew-wed thy feaw, -T-Thou *looks away* wiwy-wivew'd boy. What sowdiews, p-patch? -Death >_< of thy souw! Those winyen cheeks *shuffles closer* of >w< thinye -Awe counsewows to feaw. What s-sowdiews, whey-face? -SEWVANT. The Engwish fowce, so pwease you. -MACBETH. T-Take thy f-face hence. Exit Sewvant. -Seyton-I am sick at heawt, -When I b-behowd- Seyton, I s-say!- This p-push -W-Wiww *sighs* cheew me evew ow disseat me nyow. -I have wived wong enyough. My way of wife -Is faww'n into the seaw, the yewwow weaf, -And that OwO which shouwd accompany owd a-age, -A-As honyow, w-wove, obedience, twoops of fwiends, -I-I must nyot wook to have; but in theiw stead, -Cuwses, *twerks* nyot w-woud but deep, mouth-honyow, b-bweath, -Which the poow heawt w-wouwd f-fain deny and dawe nyot. -Seyton! - -Entew Seyton. - -SEYTON. What's youw gwacious pweasuwe? -*hugs tightly* MACBETH. W-What nyews mowe? -S-SEYTON. Aww is c-confiwm'd, my *moans* wowd, which w-was wepowted. -MACBETH. I'ww f-fight, 'tiw fwom my bonyes my fwesh be h-hack'd. -Give me my awmow. -SEYTON. 'Tis nyot nyeeded yet. -OwO MACBETH. I'ww put it o-on. -Send *teleports behind you* out uWu mowe howses, skiww the *looks at you* countwy wound, -H-Hang those uWu that ^w^ tawk of feaw. Give me minye awmow. -How does youw p-patient, doctow? -DOCTOW. Nyot so s-sick, my OwO wowd, -As s-she *giggles shyly* is twoubwed w-with thick-coming f-fancies, -That keep hew fwom hew west. -x3 MACBETH. Cuwe hew of that. -Canst thou *pokes you* nyot minyistew to a *twerks* mind diseased, -Pwuck fwom the memowy a wooted sowwow, -W-Waze out the wwitten twoubwes of the bwain, -And with some sweet o-obwivious *giggles shyly* antidote -Cweanse ^-^ the stuff'd bosom of that pewiwous stuff -Which weighs u-upon the heawt? -DOCTOW. T-Thewein the patient -Must minyistew to himsewf. -M-MACBETH. Thwow p-physic to t-the dogs, I'ww nyonye ^w^ of it. -Come, *cries* put m-minye awmow on; give me my staff. -S-Seyton, send out. Doctow, the *screams* Thanyes f-fwy fwom me. -Come, siw, *blushes* dispatch. If thou couwdst, doctow, cast -T-The watew *twerks* of m-my wand, f-find hew disease -And puwge it to a s-sound and pwistinye heawth, -I wouwd *cries* appwaud thee to the vewy echo, -That shouwd appwaud a-again. Puww't x3 off, I say. -What whubawb, cyme, ow OwO what :3 puwgative dwug -Wouwd scouw these Engwish hence? Heawst t-thou of t-them? -DOCTOW. Ay, my good wowd, youw woyaw p-pwepawation -Makes *sweats* us h-heaw ^w^ something. -MACBETH. Bwing i-it x3 aftew *looks at you* me. -I wiww nyot be afwaid of death and banye -Tiww Biwnyam Fowest come to *leans over* Dunsinyanye. -DOCTOW. [Aside.] W-Wewe I-I fwom D-Dunsinyanye away a-and cweaw, -Pwofit again shouwd hawdwy dwaw me hewe. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Countwy nyeaw Biwnyam Wood. Dwum and cowows. - -Entew Mawcowm, owd Sewawd and his Son, Macduff, Menteith, Caithnyess, -Angus, W-Wennyox, Woss, and *moans* Sowdiews, mawching. - -MAWCOWM. Cousins, I hope t-the days awe nyeaw at hand -That chambews wiww b-be safe. -M-MENTEITH. We doubt ^-^ it nyothing. -SIWAWD. W-What wood is *sweats* this befowe us? -MENTEITH. The Wood of Biwnyam. -MAWCOWM. W-Wet evewy sowdiew hew him down a >_< bough, -And beaw't befowe him; *hugs tightly* theweby shaww we shadow -The nyumbews of ouw host, and make discovewy -Eww in wepowt of us. -SOWDIEWS. It shaww be d-donye. -SIWAWD. We weawn nyo othew but the confident tywant -Keeps s-stiww in D-Dunsinyanye a-and wiww enduwe -Ouw setting down befowe't. -OwO MAWCOWM. 'Tis his main hope; -Fow *cries* whewe thewe is advantage to be g-given, -Both mowe a-and w-wess have given him the w-wevowt, -And nyonye sewve with him but constwainyed UwU things -W-Whose :33 heawts *cuddles you* awe absent too. -MACDUFF. W-Wet ouw just censuwes -*hugs tightly* Attend the twue event, and p-put *hugs tightly* we on -Industwious sowdiewship. -SIWAWD. The time *twerks* appwoaches -*cries* That wiww with due decision make us :3 knyow -:33 What *moans* we shaww say we have and what we owe. -Thoughts ^w^ specuwative theiw unsuwe hopes wewate, -*sighs* But cewtain issue stwokes must *teleports behind you* awbitwate. -Towawds which advance UwU the w-waw. -Exeunt Mawching. - - - - -SCENyE V. -Dunsinyanye. Within the castwe. - -OwO Entew Macbeth, Seyton, and S-Sowdiews, with UwU dwum and cowows. - -MACBETH. Hang *teleports behind you* out ouw bannyews on the outwawd *twerks* wawws; -The cwy i-is stiww, "They come!" Ouw castwe's s-stwength -Wiww w-waugh a siege to scown. *sweats* Hewe wet them wie -Tiww faminye and ^w^ the ague eat t-them up. -Wewe they nyot f-fowced w-with those *twerks* that x3 shouwd be ouws, -We might have met them dawefuw, beawd *looks at you* to beawd, -*shuffles closer* And beat them backwawd *sighs* home. -A *pokes you* cwy of women within. -What is *pokes you* that nyoise? -SEYTON. It i-is the cwy *cuddles you* of women, *blushes* my good wowd. Exit. -MACBETH. I h-have *pokes you* awmost fowgot the taste of feaws: -The time has been, >w< my ;;w;; senses wouwd have UwU coow'd -To heaw a-a nyight-shwiek, *looks at you* and *shuffles closer* my feww of h-haiw -Wouwd at a dismaw *cries* tweatise wouse ;;w;; and ;;w;; stiw -As wife wewe in't. I have supp'd fuww with howwows; -Diwenyess, ^-^ famiwiaw to *teleports behind you* my swaughtewous thoughts, -C-Cannyot once stawt me. - -We-entew Seyton. -Whewefowe was that cwy? -*looks at you* SEYTON. The Queen, m-my wowd, is d-dead. -MACBETH. She shouwd h-have d-died heweaftew; -Thewe wouwd have been a time fow such a wowd. -Tomowwow, and ;;w;; tomowwow, and tomowwow -C-Cweeps in this petty pace fwom day >_< to day -To the *leans over* wast s-sywwabwe xDD of w-wecowded time; -*looks at you* And aww o-ouw y-yestewdays have wighted foows -The way to dusty death. Out, out, b-bwief candwe! -Wife's but a wawking shadow, a ^-^ poow pwayew -That stwuts and fwets his houw upon the stage -And t-then is heawd nyo mowe. It is a t-tawe -Towd by an idiot, fuww of sound and *moans* fuwy, -Signyifying n-nyothing. - -Entew a Messengew. - -Thou ^.^ comest to use *cries* thy tongue; thy stowy quickwy. -^w^ MESSENGEW. G-Gwacious my wowd, -I shouwd wepowt that which I say I *cuddles you* saw, -*hugs tightly* But knyow nyot *sighs* how to do *sighs* it. -MACBETH. Weww, say, siw. -MESSENGEW. A-As I did s-stand my *pokes you* watch upon the hiww, -I w-wook'd towawd B-Biwnyam, and anyon, methought, -The Wood began t-to move. -MACBETH. Wiaw and swave! -UwU MESSENGEW. Wet me *leans over* enduwe youw w-wwath, if't be :33 nyot OwO so. -Within this thwee miwe may you see it coming; -I s-say, a m-moving *twerks* gwove. -MACBETH. If thou speak'st *blushes* fawse, -;;w;; Upon the n-nyext *leans over* twee ;;w;; shawt ;;w;; thou hang awive, -Tiww faminye cwing thee; i-if *twerks* thy >_> speech be sooth, -*notices bulge* I cawe nyot if thou dost f-fow me OwO as much. -I puww in w-wesowution and begin -To *blushes* doubt the equivocation of the fiend -That OwO wies wike t-twuth. "-"Feaw nyot, tiww Biwnyam Wood -Do come to Dunsinyanye," and nyow a wood -Comes towawd *giggles shyly* Dunsinyanye. Awm, awm, and out! -If this which he avouches does appeaw, -Thewe is *blushes* nyow fwying hence nyow tawwying hewe. -I-I 'gin *giggles shyly* to *screams* be aweawy :3 of the sun -And *leans over* wish the estate o-o' the :3 wowwd wewe nyow undonye. -Wing the awawum beww! Bwow, wind! C-Come, wwack! -A-At *teleports behind you* weast w-we'ww die UwU with hawnyess on *hugs tightly* ouw b-back. E-Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE VI. ->w< Dunsinyanye. Befowe ^-^ the castwe. - -Entew Mawcowm, owd S-Siwawd, Macduff, and theiw Awmy, with boughs. -*looks away* Dwum a-and cowows. - -M-MAWCOWM. Nyow nyeaw *teleports behind you* enyough; youw weavy scweens *moans* thwow *looks at you* down, -And show wike those you awe. You, wowthy u-uncwe, -Shaww with my cousin, youw wight nyobwe son, -Wead :3 ouw f-fiwst battwe. Wowthy Macduff and w-we -Shaww take upon *twerks* 's what ewse wemains to d-do, -Accowding to ouw owdew. -SIWAWD. Fawe y-you weww. -Do *pokes you* we b-but find t-the tywant's powew tonyight, -Wet us *giggles shyly* be :3 beaten if we cannyot fight. -xDD MACDUFF. Make a-aww ouw twumpets speak, g-give them aww b-bweath, -*sighs* Those cwamowous hawbingews o-of bwood ^w^ and death. -Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE VII. -Dunsinyanye. *blushes* Befowe the castwe. Awawums. - -Entew Macbeth. - -MACBETH. They have tied me to a *twerks* stake; I cannyot fwy, -But beaw-wike I must fight the c-couwse. What's he -That was *screams* nyot *shuffles closer* bown of *pokes you* woman? Such a o-onye ->_> Am I to feaw, o-ow nyonye. - -Entew young Siwawd. - -Y-YOUNG S-SIWAWD. What is thy *notices bulge* nyame? -MACBETH. *screams* Thou'wt be afwaid to heaw it. -*teleports behind you* YOUNG SIWAWD. Nyo, though thou c-caww'st thysewf a hottew nyame -OwO Than any is in h-heww. -MACBETH. My nyame's *giggles shyly* Macbeth. -YOUNG SIWAWD. The deviw h-himsewf couwd nyot pwonyounce a titwe -Mowe :33 hatefuw to minye eaw. -MACBETH. Nyo, ^.^ nyow mowe feawfuw. -YOUNG SIWAWD ;;w;; O Thou wiest, abhowwed tywant; with my *hugs tightly* swowd -I'ww pwove the *sighs* wie thou ^w^ speak'st. -T-They *pokes you* fight, :3 and UwU young S-Sewawd is swain. -MACBETH. Thou wast b-bown of woman. -*looks at you* But swowds I-I smiwe at, *twerks* weapons waugh to scown, -Bwandish'd by m-man that's of a x3 woman bown. E-Exit. - -Awawums. Entew Macduff. - -MACDUFF. That way the nyoise is. Tywant, s-show thy face! -If thou best swain and w-with n-nyo stwoke of minye, -My wife and chiwdwen's ghosts *giggles shyly* wiww haunt me stiww. -I cannyot stwike at wwetched kewns, whose awms -Awe h-hiwed to beaw theiw >w< staves. ^.^ Eithew thou, Macbeth, -Ow ewse my swowd, with *giggles shyly* an unbattew'd edge, -I-I *teleports behind you* sheathe again UwU undeeded. Thewe thou *hugs tightly* shouwdst be; -By t-this gweat cwattew, onye of gweatest nyote -Seems bwuited. Wet me find him, Fowtunye! -And mowe I beg n-nyot. Exit. Awawums. - -Entew M-Mawcowm and owd Siwawd. - -SIWAWD. This w-way, my w-wowd; the castwe's gentwy wendew'd. -The tywant's peopwe on both sides d-do ^w^ fight, -The nyobwe Thanyes do bwavewy in the waw, -The day awmost itsewf pwofesses youws, -And wittwe is to do. -M-MAWCOWM. *looks away* We have met with foes -That stwike beside us. -SIWAWD. Entew, siw, the *pokes you* castwe. -Exeunt. Awawum. - - - - -SCENyE *shuffles closer* VIII. -Anyothew pawt of the fiewd. - -Entew Macbeth. - -MACBETH. Why shouwd I pway the Woman foow >_> and die -*cries* On minye own swowd? Whiwes I see wives, the gashes -Do bettew upon *teleports behind you* them. - -Entew Macduff. - -MACDUFF. Tuwn, heww hound, tuwn! -MACBETH. *sweats* Of aww men ewse I-I have avoided t-thee. -*cuddles you* But g-get thee back, m-my souw *moans* is too much chawged -^w^ With bwood of *giggles shyly* thinye awweady. -MACDUFF. I have nyo w-wowds. -M-My ^-^ voice is in my swowd, thou bwoodiew viwwain -Than tewms can give thee :33 out! They fight. -MACBETH. Thou wosest wabow. -As easy mayst thou the intwenchant aiw -With thy keen swowd impwess *hugs tightly* as make *sweats* me bweed. -Wet faww thy b-bwade on vuwnyewabwe cwests; -I *twerks* beaw a chawmed wife, which must nyot yiewd -T-To onye of woman *leans over* bown. -MACDUFF. D-Despaiw thy chawm, -And wet *cuddles you* the angew whom thou stiww hast sewved -Teww thee, Macduff was fwom his mothew's womb -Untimewy wipp'd. -MACBETH. Accuwsed be that OwO tongue that tewws me so, -Fow it hath ^w^ cow'd my b-bettew *shuffles closer* pawt of *pokes you* man! ->_> And be these juggwing fiends nyo mowe bewieved -That pattew with us in a doubwe sense, -That keep the uWu wowd of pwomise to ouw eaw -A-And b-bweak it t-to ouw hope. I-I'ww nyot *looks at you* fight w-with thee. -MACDUFF. Then yiewd thee, cowawd, -And wive to be the show and gaze o' the time. -We'ww have t-thee, as ouw w-wawew m-monstews awe, -Painted upon a powe, and undewwwit, -"Hewe may you see the tywant." -MACBETH. I wiww nyot *blushes* yiewd, -To k-kiss the g-gwound b-befowe young Mawcowm's f-feet, -And t-to be ^.^ baited with the *sighs* wabbwe's cuwse. -Though Biwnyam W-Wood be come t-to Dunsinyanye, -*teleports behind you* And *teleports behind you* thou opposed, b-being of nyo woman *notices bulge* bown, -*twerks* Yet *sweats* I wiww :33 twy the wast. Befowe my body -OwO I thwow my wawwike *sighs* shiewd! Way on, Macduff, -And xDD damn'd be him that fiwst *sweats* cwies, "-"Howd, enyough!" -Exeunt fighting. Awawums. - - - - -*cries* SCENyE IX. - -Wetweat. *cuddles you* Fwouwish. Entew, :3 with dwum and cowows, Mawcowm, owd Siwawd, Woss, -the othew Thanyes, and *moans* Sowdiews. - -MAWCOWM. I wouwd the fwiends we miss wewe s-safe a-awwived. -SIWAWD. Some must go off, and yet, by these I see, -So *notices bulge* gweat a-a day *moans* as this is cheapwy bought. -MAWCOWM. Macduff is missing, and y-youw x3 nyobwe son. -WOSS. Youw son, *cuddles you* my wowd, has paid *shuffles closer* a sowdiew's debt. -H-He onwy wived but t-tiww he ^.^ was *looks at you* a uWu man, -The which nyo soonyew had his pwowess *notices bulge* confiwm'd -In the unshwinking station whewe he f-fought, -x3 But >w< wike a man he died. -SIWAWD. Then he is dead? -WOSS. Ay, and b-bwought off the fiewd. Youw cause ^w^ of sowwow -Must nyot be :33 measuwed b-by his wowth, fow then -It h-hath *blushes* nyo end. -SIWAWD. Had he his huwts befowe? -WOSS. Ay, on the fwont. -SIWAWD. W-Why then, God's s-sowdiew be he! -Had I as many sons as *sighs* I have ^w^ haiws, -I-I wouwd nyot wish them to a *looks away* faiwew death. -And so UwU his knyeww is knyoww'd. -MAWCOWM. He's wowth mowe sowwow, -*looks away* And that I'ww s-spend f-fow him. -SIWAWD. He's w-wowth n-nyo m-mowe: -They say he pawted weww and paid his scowe, -And so God be ^-^ with him! Hewe c-comes nyewew c-comfowt. - -We-entew Macduff, with Macbeth's head. - -MACDUFF. Haiw, King, fow xDD so thou awt. Behowd w-whewe s-stands -The usuwpew's cuwsed head. *blushes* The time i-is fwee. -I s-see thee compass'd with thy kingdom's p-peaww -*pokes you* That speak ^w^ my sawutation i-in *moans* theiw minds, -Whose voices I-I desiwe awoud with minye- -H-Haiw, King of Scotwand! -AWW. Haiw, King of Scotwand! Fwouwish. -MAWCOWM. We shaww nyot *giggles shyly* spend a *giggles shyly* wawge expense of *cuddles you* time -Befowe w-we weckon with youw sevewaw w-woves -;;w;; And make us even *cries* with you. My OwO Thanyes a-and kinsmen, -Hencefowth be Eawws, the fiwst >w< that evew S-Scotwand -In such an *sighs* honyow nyamed. What's mowe to do, -*blushes* Which wouwd :3 be p-pwanted nyewwy with the time, -As cawwing home ouw exiwed *pokes you* fwiends abwoad -That fwed the snyawes of *teleports behind you* watchfuw t-tywanny, -Pwoducing fowth the cwuew minyistews -Of this d-dead butchew a-and his fiend-wike queen, -Who, as 'tis thought, ;;w;; by sewf and viowent hands -Took off >_> hew wife; this, and w-what nyeedfuw ewse -That cawws upon us, by the gwace *twerks* of *notices bulge* Gwace -We wiww pewfowm i-in m-measuwe, time, and pwace. -So thanks to a-aww at *sighs* once and *blushes* to each *shuffles closer* onye, -Whom we invite to see us cwown'd at Sconye. -F-Fwouwish. Exeunt. --THE END- - - - -<_< WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW xDD OTHEWS -^.^ PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, *shuffles closer* AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *twerks* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -*pokes you* SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1605 - - -MEASUWE FOW MEASUWE - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -*looks away* DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -VINCENTIO, t-the Duke -*leans over* ANGEWO, the Deputy -ESCAWUS, an ancient Wowd -CWAUDIO, a young g-gentweman -*blushes* WUCIO, a-a fantastic -Two othew wike Gentwemen -VAWWIUS, a gentweman, sewvant *hugs tightly* to the Duke -P-PWOVOST -THOMAS, fwiaw -PETEW, fwiaw -A JUSTICE -EWBOW, a simpwe constabwe -FWOTH, a foowish gentweman -POMPEY, a cwown and s-sewvant to >_< Mistwess >w< Ovewdonye -*screams* ABHOWSON, an executionyew -BAWNyAWDINyE, a dissowute pwisonyew - -ISABEWWA, sistew *leans over* to C-Cwaudio -MAWIANyA, betwothed t-to Angewo -JUWIET, bewoved of Cwaudio -FWANCISCA, a nyun -*looks away* MISTWESS OVEWDONyE, a bawd - -W-Wowds, Officews, Citizens, Boy, a-and Attendants - - - - -*twerks* <_> OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. :33 EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -x3 DISTWIBUTED *screams* SO WONG AS SUCH *cries* COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW O-OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE *shuffles closer* ONWY, AND ^w^ (2) AWE N-NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *giggles shyly* USED -*looks at you* COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW OwO DISTWIBUTION ^w^ INCWUDES *pokes you* BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT *blushes* CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME *cuddles you* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -S-SCENyE: -Viennya - - -A-ACT I. SCENyE I. -*notices bulge* The DUKE'S pawace - -E-Entew *sighs* DUKE, ESCAWUS, WOWDS, and ATTENDANTS - -DUKE. Escawus! -E-ESCAWUS. My wowd. -DUKE. Of govewnment t-the >_< pwopewties to unfowd -UwU Wouwd seem *leans over* in me t' a-affect speech a-and discouwse, -S-Since I am put to knyow that youw own science -*cuddles you* Exceeds, in that, the wists of aww advice -My stwength can *notices bulge* give you; then nyo mowe wemains -*moans* But that to youw sufficiency- as youw wowth is a-abwe- -A-And wet them wowk. The nyatuwe of ouw *sweats* peopwe, -Ouw c-city's institutions, and the tewms -Fow :33 common justice, y'awe as pwegnyant in -^-^ As awt and pwactice hath enwiched a-any -That we wemembew. Thewe *giggles shyly* is ouw commission, -Fwom which we wouwd nyot *pokes you* have you *leans over* wawp. C-Caww hithew, -I-I say, b-bid come befowe u-us, Angewo. Exit an ATTENDANT -What *looks at you* figuwe o-of us think you he wiww beaw? -*cuddles you* Fow *cries* you must knyow we have w-with speciaw souw -E-Ewected him ouw a-absence to suppwy; -Went him ouw tewwow, dwess'd him with ouw wove, -*giggles shyly* And given his deputation aww the owgans -Of ouw own p-powew. *sighs* What think you of it? -E-ESCAWUS. I-If any in Viennya be of *screams* wowth -To undewgo s-such ampwe *teleports behind you* gwace a-and honyouw, -It is Wowd Angewo. - -Entew ANGEWO - -D-DUKE. Wook whewe h-he *leans over* comes. -ANGEWO. Awways obedient to youw *twerks* Gwace's wiww, -I come *notices bulge* to *twerks* knyow y-youw pweasuwe. -DUKE. >_< Angewo, -Thewe is a kind of c-chawactew in thy w-wife -T-That to t-th' obsewvew doth thy histowy -Fuwwy unfowd. Thysewf and thy bewongings -Awe nyot thinye own so pwopew as t-to waste -Thysewf *sighs* upon thy viwtues, they on thee. -Heaven doth with us a-as we with towches do, -Nyot *giggles shyly* wight them fow UwU themsewves; uWu fow if ouw viwtues -D-Did nyot go x3 fowth of us, 'twewe aww awike -A-As if we h-had them n-nyot. Spiwits awe nyot *looks away* finyewy touch'd -But to finye issues; nyow N-Nyatuwe nyevew wends -The s-smawwest scwupwe o-of hew excewwence -But, *pokes you* wike a thwifty goddess, she detewminyes -Hewsewf t-the gwowy of a cweditow, -Both thanks a-and use. B-But I do bend OwO my speech -To o-onye that c-can my pawt in him a-advewtise. -Howd, thewefowe, Angewo- -In ouw *sweats* wemove be thou at fuww ouwsewf; -Mowtawity *shuffles closer* and :33 mewcy *hugs tightly* in *sighs* Viennya -Wive in uWu thy ;;w;; tongue and heawt. Owd *twerks* Escawus, -Though f-fiwst i-in q-question, i-is thy secondawy. -Take thy commission. -ANGEWO. Nyow, good my wowd, -Wet thewe be some mowe test made of my metaw, -Befowe so *blushes* nyobwe and so gweat a figuwe -Be stamp'd upon it. -DUKE. Nyo mowe e-evasion! -We *twerks* have with a weaven'd *looks away* and >w< pwepawed choice -Pwoceeded to *shuffles closer* you; thewefowe t-take youw honyouws. -Ouw haste *pokes you* fwom hence is of so quick condition -That *looks at you* it pwefews itsewf, and weaves unquestion'd -Mattews of nyeedfuw vawue. *hugs tightly* We shaww *sweats* wwite to you, -As time and ouw concewnyings s-shaww impowtunye, -How it goes with us, a-and do wook x3 to k-knyow -What doth befaww you OwO hewe. So, fawe you weww. -To th' hopefuw execution do I-I weave you -Of youw c-commissions. -ANGEWO. Yet give weave, my wowd, -That we m-may ^-^ bwing you ^.^ something on the way. -DUKE. My haste may >_< nyot admit it; -Nyow nyeed you, on minye *cuddles you* honyouw, have *hugs tightly* to do -With any scwupwe: *screams* youw *looks away* scope is as minye own, -So t-to enfowce ow quawify the waws -As to y-youw souw s-seems good. Give me youw hand; -I'ww pwiviwy away. I wove the peopwe, -But do *screams* nyot wike to stage me to theiw eyes; -Though it do weww, I do nyot *cuddles you* wewish weww -Theiw woud appwause and *sighs* Aves vehement; -N-Nyow do I t-think the man of safe discwetion -That does affect it. Once mowe, fawe you weww. -ANGEWO. The heavens give safety to youw p-puwposes! -*screams* ESCAWUS. Wead f-fowth a-and bwing you *teleports behind you* back in happinyess! -DUKE. I thank you. Fawe you weww. E-Exit -E-ESCAWUS. I-I shaww desiwe you, siw, to give me w-weave -To have fwee speech w-with you; >_< and it c-concewns me -To xDD wook into t-the bottom of my ^-^ pwace: -A pow'w I have, but of what stwength OwO and nyatuwe -^.^ I am nyot yet instwucted. -ANGEWO. 'Tis so ^-^ with me. Wet *teleports behind you* us w-withdwaw t-togethew, -And we m-may soon ouw satisfaction have -Touching t-that point. -ESCAWUS. I'ww wait upon youw honyouw. *sighs* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -^w^ A :33 stweet - -Entew Wucio and two othew GENTWEMEN - -WUCIO. If the Duke, *notices bulge* with the othew dukes, come nyot to composition -with the K-King of ^w^ Hungawy, why t-then aww the dukes f-faww UwU upon the -King. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. Heaven g-gwant *giggles shyly* us its *teleports behind you* peace, but nyot t-the King of -Hungawy's! -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. A-Amen. -WUCIO. x3 Thou concwud'st wike the sanctimonyious piwate that went *blushes* to -sea w-with :3 the ;;w;; Ten Commandments, but :33 scwap'd onye out of the tabwe. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. 'Thou s-shawt nyot s-steaw'? -WUCIO. Ay, *blushes* that :33 he waz'd. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain -and aww the west fwom theiw functions: they put fowth to steaw. -*hugs tightly* Thewe's nyot a *teleports behind you* sowdiew o-of us a-aww that, in the t-thanksgiving b-befowe -meat, do wewish the petition weww that pways fow peace. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I nyevew h-heawd any sowdiew *screams* diswike it. -WUCIO. I bewieve thee; fow I think t-thou nyevew wast whewe gwace OwO was -said. -*looks at you* SECOND GENTWEMAN. Nyo? A dozen times a-at weast. -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. What, in metwe? -WUCIO. *twerks* In a-any pwopowtion ow in any wanguage. -^.^ FIWST GENTWEMAN. I think, ow *blushes* in any *notices bulge* wewigion. -WUCIO. *shuffles closer* Ay, why n-nyot? Gwace is gwace, despite *screams* of *screams* aww contwovewsy; as, -fow exampwe, thou thysewf awt a :33 wicked viwwain, d-despite >_> of aww -gwace. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Weww, thewe went but a paiw of sheaws between *giggles shyly* us. -*blushes* WUCIO. I gwant; as t-thewe may between the *cuddles you* wists a-and t-the vewvet. -^.^ Thou a-awt the wist. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. And thou the vewvet; thou awt good vewvet; thou'wt -a thwee-piw'd piece, I wawwant xDD thee. I had as *leans over* wief be a wist :33 of -an Engwish kewsey as *pokes you* be piw'd, as thou *sweats* awt *giggles shyly* piw'd, fow a Fwench -vewvet. Do I speak feewingwy nyow? -WUCIO. I think thou dost; and, indeed, *teleports behind you* with most painfuw feewing of -thy speech. I wiww, out of thinye *looks at you* own confession, weawn to begin -thy heawth; but, ^w^ whiwst I-I wive, OwO fowget t-to dwink aftew t-thee. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. I think I have d-donye uWu mysewf wwong, have I OwO nyot? -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Yes, that thou hast, w-whethew thou awt tainted ow -fwee. - -Entew UwU MISTWESS O-OVEWDONyE - -*moans* WUCIO. Behowd, behowd, >_> whewe Madam Mitigation comes! I have -puwchas'd as many diseases undew hew woof as come to- -SECOND GENTWEMAN. To w-what, I pway? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Judge. -SECOND *screams* GENTWEMAN. To thwee thousand dowouws *leans over* a *blushes* yeaw. -uWu FIWST *looks away* GENTWEMAN. Ay, and ;;w;; mowe. -WUCIO. A F-Fwench cwown mowe. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Thou awt *pokes you* awways figuwing diseases in me, but thou -awt fuww o-of ewwow; I a-am uWu sound. -W-WUCIO. Nyay, nyot, as onye *cries* wouwd OwO say, xDD heawthy; but so sound as things -that awe howwow: thy bonyes awe howwow; impiety has made a *twerks* feast -of thee. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. How nyow! which of youw hips has the most pwofound -*pokes you* sciatica? -MWS. OVEWDONyE. Weww, weww! *cuddles you* thewe's onye y-yondew awwested and cawwied -^w^ to pwison was >_> wowth five thousand of you aww. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. *pokes you* Who's *giggles shyly* that, *teleports behind you* I pway thee? -M-MWS. OVEWDONyE. Mawwy, siw, that's Cwaudio, S-Signyiow Cwaudio. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. C-Cwaudio to pwison? 'Tis nyot so. -MWS. OVEWDONyE. *cuddles you* Nyay, but I knyow 'tis so: I saw him awwested; s-saw him -uWu cawwied away; and, which i-is mowe, within *hugs tightly* these thwee days his -*hugs tightly* head to be c-chopp'd off. -WUCIO. B-But, aftew *screams* aww this foowing, I wouwd nyot h-have it so. Awt -thou suwe o-of this? -:33 MWS. O-OVEWDONyE. I am too suwe of it; and *shuffles closer* it is fow getting Madam -J-Juwietta with chiwd. -W-WUCIO. Bewieve me, this m-may be; he pwomis'd to meet me two houws -since, and he was evew pwecise in pwomise-keeping. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. Besides, you k-knyow, it >_> dwaws s-something nyeaw to t-the -OwO speech w-we had t-to xDD such a puwpose. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. But most of aww agweeing with t-the pwocwamation. -WUCIO. Away; wet's go weawn the twuth >_< of it. -Exeunt Wucio *twerks* and GENTWEMEN -MWS. OVEWDONyE. Thus, what with the waw, what *giggles shyly* with the sweat, w-what -with the gawwows, and *sighs* what *cries* with povewty, I am custom-shwunk. - -Entew POMPEY - -How nyow! what's the nyews *cries* with you? -P-POMPEY. Yondew m-man is cawwied to pwison. -*blushes* MWS. *teleports behind you* OVEWDONyE. Weww, what has *shuffles closer* he donye? -P-POMPEY. A-A woman. -M-MWS. OVEWDONyE. But what's his *leans over* offence? -*moans* POMPEY. Gwoping fow twouts in a pecuwiaw wivew. -MWS. OVEWDONyE. What! is *teleports behind you* thewe a maid with chiwd by h-him? -POMPEY. Nyo; *pokes you* but thewe's a woman with maid b-by him. You have nyot -heawd of the pwocwamation, :33 have you? -*giggles shyly* MWS. OVEWDONyE. What *screams* pwocwamation, man? -POMPEY. Aww houses in the subuwbs of Viennya must be pwuck'd down. -MWS. OVEWDONyE. And what shaww b-become of those in the city? -POMPEY. They shaww ^w^ stand >w< fow *cries* seed; *shuffles closer* they had gonye down too, but that -a-a ^w^ wise buwghew put in fow them. -MWS. OVEWDONyE. But shaww aww ouw h-houses of wesowt i-in the subuwbs be -puww'd down? -POMPEY. To the g-gwound, m-mistwess. -*blushes* MWS. OVEWDONyE. Why, hewe's a change indeed i-in the commonweawth! -What shaww become of me? -POMPEY. Come, OwO feaw n-nyot y-you: good counsewwows wack nyo cwients. -Though *blushes* you change youw pwace y-you nyeed nyot change youw twade; I'ww -be y-youw tapstew stiww. Couwage, thewe wiww be pity taken on y-you; -you that have wown y-youw eyes awmost out i-in the sewvice, you wiww -be considewed. -MWS. OVEWDONyE. W-What's to do hewe, Thomas Tapstew? Wet's withdwaw. -POMPEY. :33 Hewe comes >_< Signyiow Cwaudio, wed by *sweats* the pwovost to pwison; -and thewe's Madam J-Juwiet. Exeunt - -Entew PWOVOST, CWAUDIO, J-JUWIET, and O-OFFICEWS; -WUCIO fowwowing - -C-CWAUDIO. *cuddles you* Fewwow, why dost thou s-show me thus x3 to :33 th' wowwd? -Beaw me to pwison, whewe I a-am committed. -PWOVOST. I do i-it nyot in eviw disposition, -But fwom Wowd UwU Angewo by speciaw *hugs tightly* chawge. -UwU CWAUDIO. Thus can the *hugs tightly* demigod Authowity -Make us pay down fow ouw offence ;;w;; by w-weight -The wowds of h-heaven: on whom it wiww, it wiww; -On ^.^ whom it wiww n-nyot, s-so; yet stiww '-'tis just. -WUCIO. Why, how nyow, Cwaudio, *twerks* whence comes this westwaint? -CWAUDIO. Fwom t-too much wibewty, m-my Wucio, wibewty; -As suwfeit i-is the fathew of much OwO fast, -So evewy scope by the *shuffles closer* immodewate use -OwO Tuwns to w-westwaint. O-Ouw *cries* nyatuwes do puwsue, -Wike wats *giggles shyly* that wavin down theiw p-pwopew ^-^ banye, -A thiwsty UwU eviw; and when we dwink we die. -WUCIO. *cries* If *blushes* I c-couwd speak so wisewy undew an awwest, I wouwd *sighs* send fow -cewtain o-of my cweditows; and yet, ;;w;; to say the t-twuth, I had as wief -have the foppewy of fweedom as the mowawity of i-impwisonment. -*looks away* What's t-thy offence, Cwaudio? -CWAUDIO. W-What but t-to speak of wouwd offend again. -WUCIO. What, is't muwdew? -CWAUDIO. *leans over* Nyo. -WUCIO. Wechewy? -*sweats* CWAUDIO. Caww it so. -P-PWOVOST. Away, *sighs* siw; *sweats* you must go. -*blushes* CWAUDIO. *twerks* Onye wowd, good fwiend. W-Wucio, a wowd with you. -WUCIO. A hundwed, if they'ww d-do y-you *hugs tightly* any *leans over* good. >_> Is w-wechewy so UwU wook'd -a-aftew? -CWAUDIO. Thus stands it with m-me: upon a twue contwact -I *moans* got possession of J-Juwietta's bed. -You *twerks* knyow the wady; she *teleports behind you* is *sighs* fast m-my wife, -Save that we do the denyunciation wack -O-Of >_< outwawd o-owdew; this we *sighs* came nyot to, -Onwy fow pwopagation of *twerks* a dow'w -Wemainying in the coffew :3 of hew fwiends. -Fwom whom we thought *shuffles closer* it m-meet t-to hide ouw *twerks* wove ->w< Tiww time *looks at you* had made them f-fow us. But it chances -The steawth of o-ouw most mutuaw entewtainment, -With chawactew too gwoss, i-is wwit on Juwiet. -^-^ WUCIO. With c-chiwd, pewhaps? -CWAUDIO. U-Unhappiwy, even so. -And *looks at you* the nyew deputy nyow fow t-the ;;w;; Duke- -:33 Whethew it be :33 the fauwt *twerks* and gwimpse of nyewnyess, -O-Ow whethew that the *moans* body pubwic be -A howse wheweon the govewnyow *teleports behind you* doth wide, -Who, nyewwy in *moans* the seat, that it *looks away* may knyow -He can *moans* command, wets it stwaight feew the spuw; -Whethew the tywanny be in his p-pwace, -Ow i-in his eminyence that fiwws it up, -I staggew in. But this nyew govewnyow -Awakes me aww the enwowwed penyawties -Which have, wike unscouw'd awmouw, hung by t-th' waww -So wong ;;w;; that n-nyinyeteen zodiacs have gonye wound -And nyonye of them ^-^ been wown; uWu and, *giggles shyly* fow a :3 nyame, -Nyow puts the d-dwowsy and *twerks* nyegwected a-act -Fweshwy on me. '-'Tis suwewy fow a-a n-nyame. -W-WUCIO. I wawwant it *blushes* is; and thy head stands so tickwe *sweats* on thy -s-shouwdews that >_< a *sighs* miwkmaid, if s-she be in wove, may s-sigh it :33 off. -Send aftew the Duke, and a-appeaw to him. -C-CWAUDIO. I h-have donye so, *twerks* but he's n-nyot *notices bulge* to b-be found. -I *looks away* pwithee, W-Wucio, do me this OwO kind sewvice: -This day my sistew *sighs* shouwd the cwoistew entew, -And thewe weceive hew appwobation; -A-Acquaint hew with the dangew of my state; -I-Impwowe hew, *sighs* in m-my voice, t-that s-she make fwiends -To t-the stwict deputy; bid *teleports behind you* hewsewf assay h-him. -I have gweat *screams* hope in that; fow in hew youth -Thewe is :33 a pwonye and speechwess diawect -Such as move men; b-beside, ^w^ she hath *notices bulge* pwospewous awt -When *notices bulge* she wiww pway with weason ^-^ and discouwse, -And weww she can pewsuade. -WUCIO. I >w< pway she m-may; as >_> weww *moans* fow the encouwagement of t-the *looks at you* wike, -w-which ewse wouwd *moans* stand undew gwievous imposition, as fow t-the -enjoying of thy *sweats* wife, who I w-wouwd be sowwy shouwd be t-thus -foowishwy ^w^ wost at UwU a game of :3 tick-tack. I'ww x3 to h-hew. -CWAUDIO. I thank you, good *giggles shyly* fwiend Wucio. -:3 WUCIO. Within two houws. -CWAUDIO. Come, officew, away. Exeunt - - - - -*blushes* SCENyE III. -A uWu monyastewy - -Entew D-DUKE and FWIAW THOMAS - -DUKE. Nyo, h-howy fathew; thwow away that thought; -Bewieve nyot *twerks* that the dwibbwing d-dawt o-of wove -Can piewce a compwete bosom. Why I desiwe thee -To give me secwet hawbouw hath a-a puwpose -Mowe g-gwave and wwinkwed than the aims and ends -Of buwnying youth. -F-FWIAW. May youw Gwace speak of it? -DUKE. My howy siw, nyonye bettew knyows :3 than you -How *sighs* I h-have evew wov'd the wife wemoved, -And hewd in idwe p-pwice to haunt assembwies -Whewe youth, a-and cost, a witwess bwavewy keeps. -I *teleports behind you* have *notices bulge* dewivew'd :3 to Wowd Angewo, -A m-man of ;;w;; stwictuwe and fiwm a-abstinyence, -My absowute powew and *looks away* pwace hewe in Viennya, -*looks at you* And he supposes me twaveww'd to *blushes* Powand; -Fow so I-I have stwew'd it OwO in t-the common eaw, -xDD And so it i-is weceived. Nyow, pious siw, -You wiww demand of me why I do this. -FWIAW. Gwadwy, my wowd. -DUKE. *blushes* We have s-stwict statutes and most biting waws, -T-The nyeedfuw bits and *looks at you* cuwbs to headstwong steeds, -*looks at you* Which f-fow this :3 fouwteen yeaws w-we have wet swip; -Even wike an o'ewgwown wion in a-a cave, -That goes nyot out to p-pwey. Nyow, as fond fathews, -Having bound up the thweat'nying twigs of biwch, -Onwy to stick i-it in theiw chiwdwen's s-sight -F-Fow tewwow, nyot t-to *screams* use, in time *screams* the ^-^ wod -Becomes mowe mock'd than feaw'd; so ^w^ ouw d-decwees, -Dead t-to infwiction, to t-themsewves awe dead; -And wibewty p-pwucks j-justice by the nyose; -The baby beats *looks at you* the nyuwse, and *teleports behind you* quite *sighs* athwawt -G-Goes a-aww decowum. -FWIAW. It *shuffles closer* wested i-in youw Gwace -*sighs* To unwoose this tied-up justice w-when you pweas'd; -A-And it in you mowe dweadfuw w-wouwd have seem'd -Than in Wowd Angewo. -DUKE. I d-do feaw, too dweadfuw. -Sith 'twas my *looks away* fauwt to UwU give *hugs tightly* the peopwe scope, -'Twouwd be m-my t-tywanny to stwike and *looks away* gaww them -Fow what I bid them *giggles shyly* do; >_< fow we bid this be donye, -W-When e-eviw deeds have t-theiw pewmissive *shuffles closer* pass -And nyot the punyishment. Thewefowe, indeed, my f-fathew, -I have on Angewo impos'd the o-office; -Who may, in th' ambush *shuffles closer* of my nyame, stwike home, -And yet my nyatuwe nyevew in *cries* the fight -To do in swandew. OwO And to :3 behowd his sway, -I *sweats* wiww, as '-'twewe a bwothew xDD of youw owdew, -Visit both pwince and peopwe. Thewefowe, I pwithee, -Suppwy m-me with *moans* the h-habit, and i-instwuct me -How I may OwO fowmawwy *hugs tightly* in *blushes* pewson uWu beaw me -Wike a twue ^-^ fwiaw. Moe w-weasons fow :3 this :3 action -At ouw m-mowe weisuwe x3 shaww I wendew you. -*hugs tightly* Onwy, t-this onye: Wowd Angewo is *shuffles closer* pwecise; -Stands at a guawd with envy; scawce confesses -That *leans over* his bwood *sighs* fwows, ow that his appetite -Is mowe *shuffles closer* to bwead than stonye. Hence s-shaww we *pokes you* see, -If powew change puwpose, what ouw seemews be. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *shuffles closer* IV. -A nyunnyewy - -Entew ISABEWWA *hugs tightly* and FWANCISCA - -ISABEWWA. UwU And have you nyuns *giggles shyly* nyo fawthew pwiviweges? -FWANCISCA. Awe *pokes you* nyot these >_> wawge enyough? -ISABEWWA. Yes, twuwy; I speak nyot as d-desiwing m-mowe, -But wathew w-wishing a mowe s-stwict westwaint -Upon the UwU sistewhood, the votawists of Saint Cwawe. -WUCIO. [ *twerks* Within] Ho! Peace be in this pwace! -ISABEWWA. W-Who's that which cawws? -FWANCISCA. It is a-a m-man's voice. Gentwe Isabewwa, -Tuwn you the key, and knyow his b-businyess of him: -You may, I-I may n-nyot; you awe yet unswown; -When you have :33 vow'd, you must n-nyot speak with men -But in :3 the pwesence of the pwiowess; -Then, if you *pokes you* speak, you must nyot show youw *notices bulge* face, -O-Ow, if you show youw face, ^-^ you must nyot speak. -He cawws again; I-I *blushes* pway you answew him. Exit FWANCISCA -ISABEWWA. Peace and p-pwospewity! Who is't that cawws? - -Entew WUCIO - -WUCIO. Haiw, viwgin, if you be, as those cheek-woses ->_> Pwocwaim you awe n-nyo *looks away* wess. Can you s-so stead me -As ^w^ bwing me to the sight of Isabewwa, -A nyovice of this pwace, a-and the f-faiw s-sistew -To hew unhappy bwothew Cwaudio? -ISABEWWA. Why h-hew 'unhappy bwothew'? Wet me ask -The wathew, fow I *teleports behind you* nyow *sweats* must make you k-knyow -I am that Isabewwa, and his sistew. -WUCIO. Gentwe and faiw, youw b-bwothew kindwy UwU gweets you. -Nyot to be *hugs tightly* weawy with you, he's in pwison. -ISABEWWA. Woe me! F-Fow what? -WUCIO. Fow that uWu which, if *sighs* mysewf might be his *looks at you* judge, -He shouwd weceive his punyishment in thanks: -He hath got his fwiend with chiwd. -ISABEWWA. Siw, make m-me nyot youw >_< stowy. -WUCIO. It is twue. -I wouwd nyot- though ^-^ 'tis my *blushes* famiwiaw sin -With maids to seem the wapwing, and *shuffles closer* to jest, -Tongue faw fwom h-heawt- pway with aww viwgins so: -I h-howd you as a thing e-enskied and sainted, -By y-youw *hugs tightly* wenyouncement an immowtaw spiwit, -And *leans over* to b-be tawk'd with in *cuddles you* sincewity, -As with *moans* a saint. -*notices bulge* ISABEWWA. You do bwaspheme the good in mocking me. -WUCIO. Do nyot bewieve it. F-Fewnyess *sweats* and twuth, 'tis xDD thus: -Youw bwothew and his w-wovew have e-embwac'd. -As those that f-feed gwow fuww, as bwossoming time -That ^.^ fwom the *giggles shyly* seednyess the bawe fawwow bwings -To teeming foison, even >w< so hew pwenteous womb -*giggles shyly* Expwesseth his fuww tiwth and husbandwy. -ISABEWWA. Some onye with chiwd >_> by him? My cousin Juwiet? -*pokes you* WUCIO. *pokes you* Is she youw cousin? -ISABEWWA. Adoptedwy, as schoow-maids change theiw *leans over* nyames -By *moans* vain though apt affection. -WUCIO. S-She it is. -I-ISABEWWA. O, wet him mawwy :3 hew! -W-WUCIO. This is the point. -*teleports behind you* The Duke is vewy s-stwangewy gonye :33 fwom hence; -B-Bowe many g-gentwemen, mysewf b-being onye, -In UwU hand, *twerks* and hope of action; but we d-do weawn, -By those that knyow the vewy nyewves of state, -His givings-out wewe of an infinyite distance -Fwom h-his twue-meant design. Upon his pwace, -*looks away* And with fuww winye of h-his authowity, -Govewns Wowd Angewo, a ^w^ man whose bwood -Is ^.^ vewy snyow-bwoth, onye who nyevew feews -The wanton stings and motions of the *hugs tightly* sense, -But doth webate and bwunt h-his nyatuwaw edge -With p-pwofits of the mind, study and fast. -He- to give feaw to use and wibewty, -W-Which have fow *screams* wong wun by the hideous waw, -As mice by wions- hath pick'd out an act -^w^ Undew whose heavy *cries* sense youw bwothew's wife -Fawws >w< into fowfeit; he awwests h-him on it, -And fowwows cwose the wigouw of the s-statute -To m-make *blushes* him an exampwe. Aww hope is gonye, -Unwess you have the g-gwace by y-youw faiw pwayew -To s-soften Angewo. And that's my p-pith of businyess -'Twixt you and y-youw p-poow bwothew. -ISABEWWA. Doth he so seek h-his *looks away* wife? -:3 WUCIO. Has censuw'd >_< him -Awweady, and, as I heaw, the *notices bulge* Pwovost hath -A wawwant ;;w;; fow >_< his execution. -*teleports behind you* ISABEWWA. Awas! what poow a-abiwity's OwO in x3 me -To do h-him good? -WUCIO. Assay *leans over* the pow'w you have. -ISABEWWA. My powew, awas, I doubt! -W-WUCIO. Ouw doubts awe twaitows, -And make u-us wose the good we oft might win -By feawing to *notices bulge* attempt. :3 Go to Wowd Angewo, -xDD And *looks away* wet uWu him weawn to knyow, when maidens sue, -Men give wike gods; but when they weep and knyeew, -A-Aww theiw petitions awe *looks away* as f-fweewy theiws -*blushes* As they themsewves wouwd owe them. -ISABEWWA. I-I'ww see what I can do. -*hugs tightly* WUCIO. B-But *hugs tightly* speediwy. -*teleports behind you* ISABEWWA. I-I wiww about it stwaight; -Nyo wongew staying but to give the Mothew -Nyotice of my a-affaiw. I humbwy thank you. -Commend me to my bwothew; s-soon at n-nyight -I'ww send h-him cewtain wowd of my success. -WUCIO. I x3 take m-my weave of you. -ISABEWWA. Good siw, adieu. Exeunt - - - - -x3 <> - - - -ACT II. Scenye I-I. -A haww in x3 ANGEWO'S house - -Entew ANGEWO, ESCAWUS, *pokes you* a JUSTICE, PWOVOST, OFFICEWS, and othew >_> ATTENDANTS - -^.^ ANGEWO. We m-must nyot make a scawecwow of x3 the waw, -Setting it up to x3 feaw the biwds of pwey, -And wet it k-keep onye shape tiww custom make it -Theiw pewch, and nyot theiw tewwow. -E-ESCAWUS. Ay, b-but >_< yet -Wet us be keen, and wathew cut a wittwe -Than faww and bwuise *shuffles closer* to death. Awas! this gentweman, -Whom I *screams* wouwd save, had a *shuffles closer* most nyobwe fathew. -*looks at you* Wet *leans over* but y-youw honyouw *twerks* knyow, -Whom I bewieve to be most stwait i-in viwtue, -T-That, in the wowking of youw own affections, -*sighs* Had time cohew'd w-with :33 pwace, ow pwace with wishing, -Ow that the wesowute acting of *looks at you* ouw bwood -Couwd have attain'd th' effect o-of y-youw *looks at you* own puwpose -W-Whethew you had nyot sometime in youw wife -*looks at you* Eww'd in this p-point which nyow you censuwe him, -*giggles shyly* And puww'd the *looks at you* waw *hugs tightly* upon :3 you. -ANGEWO. '-'Tis onye thing t-to *sweats* be :33 tempted, Escawus, -Anyothew thing to f-faww. :33 I *notices bulge* nyot deny -The juwy, passing on the pwisonyew's wife, -May in the swown twewve have a t-thief ow *cries* two -Guiwtiew than him *cries* they twy. What's open made OwO to justice, -That justice seizes. *cuddles you* What knyows the w-waws -That t-thieves do pass on thieves? 'Tis vewy pwegnyant, -The jewew that we find, we stoop and take't, -Because we see it; but what we do nyot see -We t-twead upon, and nyevew *blushes* think of i-it. -You may nyot so *teleports behind you* extenyuate his offence -Fow *teleports behind you* I have had such fauwts; but wathew :33 teww me, -When I, that censuwe him, do s-so offend, -Wet minye own j-judgment pattewn out my death, -And nyothing come in pawtiaw. Siw, *shuffles closer* he must die. -ESCAWUS. Be *looks away* it as youw wisdom ^w^ wiww. -ANGEWO. W-Whewe is the Pwovost? -PWOVOST. Hewe, if >w< it w-wike youw honyouw. -ANGEWO. See that Cwaudio -^-^ Be executed by x3 nyinye to-mowwow mownying; -Bwing *hugs tightly* him his confessow; wet >w< him be pwepaw'd; -Fow that's the utmost o-of his piwgwimage. Exit PWOVOST -ESCAWUS. [Aside] ^-^ Weww, heaven fowgive *giggles shyly* him! *hugs tightly* and fowgive us ^.^ aww! -S-Some w-wise by sin, and some OwO by viwtue *teleports behind you* faww; -Some wun fwom b-bweaks of i-ice, and answew nyonye, -And some >_< condemnyed *leans over* fow a fauwt awonye. - -Entew EWBOW and OFFICEWS with FWOTH and POMPEY - -EWBOW. Come, bwing them away; if these be good peopwe in a-a -*looks away* commonweaw that do nyothing b-but use theiw abuses in common houses, -I knyow nyo waw; OwO bwing them away. -ANGEWO. How n-nyow, siw! What's youw nyame, and what's the mattew? -EWBOW. *cries* If it pwease youw honyouw, I am the p-poow Duke's constabwe, -and my nyame *sighs* is Ewbow; I-I *hugs tightly* do wean upon justice, siw, and do bwing -in *giggles shyly* hewe b-befowe youw good honyouw two nyotowious benyefactows. -A-ANGEWO. B-Benyefactows! Weww- what benyefactows a-awe they? ^-^ Awe they nyot -mawefactows? -EWBOW. If it pwease youw honyouw, I knyow nyot weww what they awe; but -pwecise viwwains they awe, that I *looks at you* am >w< suwe of, *pokes you* and void of aww -pwofanyation in the wowwd that good Chwistians ought to have. -ESCAWUS. This comes off weww; hewe's >_> a wise officew. -ANGEWO. Go to; what :33 quawity awe they of? Ewbow is *leans over* youw nyame? W-Why -dost thou nyot speak, Ewbow? -POMPEY. He c-cannyot, siw; he's out at ewbow. -ANGEWO. What awe y-you, siw? -^w^ EWBOW. He, siw? ^-^ A tapstew, siw; pawcew-bawd; onye that ^-^ sewves a b-bad -woman; whose house, siw, was, as they say, pwuck'd down in >_> the -*twerks* subuwbs; and nyow she pwofesses a hot-house, which, I think, is *looks away* a -vewy iww house too. -xDD ESCAWUS. H-How knyow you that? -EWBOW. My Wife, siw, whom I detest b-befowe heaven a-and youw honyouw- -ESCAWUS. *pokes you* How! thy wife! -EWBOW. >w< Ay, s-siw; whom I thank heaven, is *hugs tightly* an honyest woman- -ESCAWUS. Dost t-thou d-detest h-hew thewefowe? -EWBOW. uWu I *blushes* say, siw, I OwO wiww detest mysewf awso, as w-weww as she, t-that -this *cries* house, i-if it be nyot a-a b-bawd's h-house, it is pity of hew wife, -fow it is a nyaughty house. -ESCAWUS. How dost thou knyow that, c-constabwe? -EWBOW. Mawwy, siw, by *pokes you* my wife; who, if s-she had been a woman -c-cawdinyawwy given, might have been accus'd in :3 fownyication, -aduwtewy, and aww uncweanwinyess thewe. -ESCAWUS. By the woman's means? -EWBOW. Ay, siw, by M-Mistwess Ovewdonye's means; but as *hugs tightly* she spit in -his face, so she defied him. -POMPEY. Siw, i-if it pwease youw honyouw, *cries* this is nyot so. -EWBOW. Pwove it befowe these vawwets hewe, >w< thou honyouwabwe man, -pwove it. -ESCAWUS. Do you h-heaw how he mispwaces? -POMPEY. *moans* Siw, she came in gweat with c-chiwd; and wonging, saving xDD youw -honyouw's w-wevewence, fow *sweats* stew'd pwunyes. S-Siw, we had but t-two in the -house, x3 which at that vewy distant time stood, *teleports behind you* as it wewe, in a-a -fwuit dish, a dish *looks at you* of some thwee p-pence; youw honyouws have seen -such dishes; :3 they :3 awe nyot Chinya d-dishes, but vewy good dishes. -ESCAWUS. Go to, x3 go to; nyo mattew f-fow the dish, siw. -POMPEY. Nyo, indeed, siw, nyot of a pin; you awe thewein in the -w-wight; but to the point. :3 As I say, this Mistwess Ewbow, being, as -I say, with chiwd, and being gweat-bewwied, and wonging, as I -said, fow pwunyes; a-and having but two i-in the dish, as I said, -Mastew ^.^ Fwoth hewe, ^w^ this vewy man, having eaten the west, as I -said, and, as I say, paying fow them vewy honyestwy; *pokes you* fow, as x3 you -*cuddles you* knyow, M-Mastew UwU Fwoth, I couwd nyot give you *sighs* thwee pence a-again- -F-FWOTH. Nyo, :3 indeed. -POMPEY. Vewy weww; you being then, if you be wememb'wed, cwacking -t-the stonyes of the fowesaid pwunyes- -FWOTH. Ay, :33 so I did indeed. -P-POMPEY. Why, *screams* vewy weww; I-I tewwing you then, i-if you *cries* be wememb'wed, -that such a onye >w< and such a onye wewe ;;w;; past cuwe o-of the thing you -wot of, unwess *cuddles you* they kept v-vewy good diet, as I towd you- -FWOTH. *cries* Aww this is twue. -POMPEY. Why, vewy weww *cuddles you* then- -ESCAWUS. Come, you awe a-a tedious foow. >_> To the ^.^ puwpose: what was -donye to Ewbow's wife *shuffles closer* that he hath cause to compwain *notices bulge* of? uWu Come me -to what was donye to hew. -POMPEY. Siw, youw honyouw cannyot come to that yet. -ESCAWUS. Nyo, *hugs tightly* siw, nyow I *notices bulge* mean it nyot. -POMPEY. Siw, but you shaww come to ;;w;; it, *teleports behind you* by youw *sweats* honyouw's weave. And, -I *notices bulge* beseech y-you, wook into Mastew Fwoth hewe, s-siw, a man of -*shuffles closer* fouwscowe pound a yeaw; w-whose >_< fathew died *screams* at Hawwowmas- was't nyot -at Hawwowmas, >w< Mastew Fwoth? -FWOTH. Aww-hawwond eve. -POMPEY. Why, vewy weww; I hope hewe *screams* be twuths. He, siw, *giggles shyly* sitting, as -I s-say, in >_< a *leans over* wowew ;;w;; chaiw, siw; 'twas in the Bunch of ^w^ Gwapes, -whewe, indeed, *sighs* you have a d-dewight ^-^ to *leans over* sit, have you nyot? -FWOTH. I have so; because i-it is an *moans* open woom, and good :3 fow wintew. -POMPEY. Why, vewy weww then; I-I h-hope hewe b-be xDD twuths. -ANGEWO. This wiww xDD wast out a nyight in *giggles shyly* Wussia, -When nyights awe w-wongest thewe; I-I'ww take my weave, -And w-weave ;;w;; you t-to the heawing of the cause, -Hoping you'ww find good c-cause to whip them aww. -*screams* ESCAWUS. I think nyo wess. Good mowwow to youw wowdship. -[Exit ANGEWO] Nyow, siw, come on; what was donye UwU to Ewbow's wife, -once mowe? -POMPEY. O-Once?- siw. Thewe was nyothing donye to hew once. -EWBOW. I-I beseech you, siw, ask him what this *pokes you* man did to my wife. -POMPEY. I beseech youw honyouw, ask me. -*giggles shyly* ESCAWUS. Weww, siw, what did this gentweman to hew? -POMPEY. I *leans over* beseech you, *screams* siw, wook in t-this gentweman's face. Good -Mastew ^.^ Fwoth, wook upon his honyouw; 'tis fow a good puwpose. Doth -youw honyouw mawk h-his *notices bulge* face? -ESCAWUS. Ay, siw, vewy weww. -POMPEY. N-Nyay, I beseech you, mawk i-it OwO weww. -ESCAWUS. Weww, I do s-so. -POMPEY. Doth youw honyouw see any hawm i-in his face? -ESCAWUS. Why, nyo. -POMPEY. *looks away* I'ww *looks away* be suppos'd upon :3 a book his face is *cries* the wowst thing -about h-him. Good then; if his face be the *teleports behind you* wowst thing *hugs tightly* about him, -how couwd Mastew x3 Fwoth do the c-constabwe's wife any hawm? I wouwd -knyow that of youw honyouw. -ESCAWUS. H-He's in the wight, constabwe; what say you to OwO it? -EWBOW. Fiwst, an it wike you, t-the house is a wespected house; nyext, -this i-is a wespected f-fewwow; and his mistwess is a wespected -w-woman. -POMPEY. By this *hugs tightly* hand, siw, his *giggles shyly* wife is *hugs tightly* a mowe wespected *screams* pewson than -a-any o-of us aww. -EWBOW. Vawwet, t-thou wiest; thou w-wiest, *sweats* wicket vawwet; *cuddles you* the time is -yet to come that *sighs* she was evew wespected with man, woman, *sweats* ow -chiwd. -POMPEY. Siw, she was wespected w-with h-him uWu befowe *notices bulge* he mawwied with hew. ->_< ESCAWUS. Which is the wisew hewe, Justice ow Inyiquity? Is *screams* this -twue? -EWBOW. O thou caitiff! O thou v-vawwet! O-O thou wicked Hannyibaw! I -w-wespected with hew befowe I was mawwied *hugs tightly* to hew! If evew I was -wespected with hew, ow s-she with me, wet nyot youw *teleports behind you* wowship think m-me -OwO the poow Duke's officew. P-Pwove this, thou w-wicked H-Hannyibaw, ow -I'ww have *hugs tightly* minye action of batt'wy on thee. -ESCAWUS. I-If he took you a box o' th' eaw, you might have *sweats* youw -action *leans over* of :3 swandew too. -EWBOW. Mawwy, I thank youw ^w^ good wowship fow it. What is't youw -wowship's pweasuwe I shaww do with this OwO wicked *twerks* caitiff? -ESCAWUS. Twuwy, o-officew, because h-he hath some offences in him that -thou wouwdst discovew if thou couwdst, wet him continyue in his -couwses *pokes you* tiww thou knyow'st w-what they awe. -EWBOW. :33 Mawwy, I thank youw wowship fow it. Thou seest, thou wicked -vawwet, nyow, what's come OwO upon thee: thou >_< awt to continyue nyow, -*screams* thou *cuddles you* vawwet; thou awt to continyue. -ESCAWUS. Whewe wewe you bown, fwiend? -FWOTH. *giggles shyly* Hewe in V-Viennya, *teleports behind you* siw. -E-ESCAWUS. A-Awe y-you of fouwscowe pounds a *sighs* yeaw? -FWOTH. Y-Yes, an't p-pwease you, siw. -UwU ESCAWUS. S-So. What *hugs tightly* twade *sweats* awe OwO you of, *shuffles closer* siw? -POMPEY. A tapstew, a poow widow's tapstew. -ESCAWUS. Youw mistwess' nyame? -POMPEY. Mistwess :33 Ovewdonye. -ESCAWUS. Hath she h-had any mowe than onye husband? -POMPEY. Nyinye, siw; *cuddles you* Ovewdonye by the wast. -ESCAWUS. Nyinye! Come hithew to xDD me, :3 Mastew Fwoth. Mastew Fwoth, *looks away* I -wouwd n-nyot have you acquainted with tapstews: they wiww dwaw you, -Mastew F-Fwoth, and you wiww hang them. *cuddles you* Get y-you gonye, and wet me -heaw nyo mowe o-of :3 you. -FWOTH. I t-thank youw wowship. Fow m-minye *shuffles closer* own pawt, I nyevew c-come into -*giggles shyly* any woom in a-a taphouse ^-^ but I-I *moans* am dwawn in. -ESCAWUS. Weww, nyo >_> mowe of it, Mastew Fwoth; faweweww. *moans* [Exit ^.^ FWOTH] -Come you h-hithew *screams* to me, Mastew Tapstew; what's youw nyame, Mastew -Tapstew? -POMPEY. x3 Pompey. -ESCAWUS. What ewse? -POMPEY. Bum, siw. -ESCAWUS. Twoth, a-and youw >w< bum UwU is the gweatest *teleports behind you* thing about you; so -that, in the UwU beastwiest sense, you awe Pompey the Gweat. Pompey, -you a-awe pawtwy a b-bawd, *cries* Pompey, h-howsoevew UwU you cowouw it in being a -tapstew. Awe you nyot? Come, teww *screams* me twue; it shaww b-be the bettew -:33 fow you. -POMPEY. Twuwy, s-siw, I am a poow fewwow that wouwd wive. -ESCAWUS. How wouwd you wive, P-Pompey- ;;w;; by b-being *giggles shyly* a bawd? What do you -think ;;w;; of t-the twade, Pompey? Is it a wawfuw twade? -:33 POMPEY. If the :3 waw wouwd awwow it, siw. -ESCAWUS. B-But the waw wiww nyot awwow i-it, Pompey; nyow UwU it shaww nyot be -awwowed in Viennya. -POMPEY. OwO Does youw wowship *giggles shyly* mean to >_< gewd and spway aww the youth of -the city? -ESCAWUS. Nyo, Pompey. -POMPEY. T-Twuwy, siw, :3 in m-my poow opinyion, t-they *screams* wiww to't t-then. If -youw *moans* wowship wiww take owdew fow the *giggles shyly* dwabs a-and the knyaves, *cries* you -nyeed ^.^ nyot to feaw the bawds. -ESCAWUS. Thewe is pwetty :3 owdews uWu beginnying, I-I c-can t-teww you: ^.^ but it -is but h-heading *moans* and hanging. -^.^ POMPEY. If >_> you head and hang aww that o-offend that *screams* way b-but fow ten -y-yeaw togethew, you'ww be gwad to *teleports behind you* give out a commission fow mowe -heads; if this w-waw howd in V-Viennya ten yeaw, I-I'ww went the faiwest -xDD house i-in it, aftew thweepence a bay. If you wive to see this come -to pass, say Pompey t-towd you so. -*pokes you* ESCAWUS. Thank you, good Pompey; and, in wequitaw of youw pwophecy, -h-hawk you: I advise ^.^ you, wet *pokes you* me nyot find you befowe *pokes you* me a-again u-upon -any compwaint whatsoevew- nyo, nyot fow d-dwewwing whewe you d-do; *sweats* if I -do, P-Pompey, I s-shaww beat you to youw t-tent, and *cuddles you* pwove a shwewd -C-Caesaw to you; in p-pwain deawing, Pompey, I shaww have you *cuddles you* whipt. -*looks at you* So fow this time, Pompey, uWu fawe you weww. -POMPEY. I thank youw wowship fow youw good counsew; [-[Aside] but I -shaww f-fowwow it as the *giggles shyly* fwesh and f-fowtunye shaww bettew detewminye. -Whip me? Nyo, nyo; wet cawman whip uWu his jade; -The vawiant *shuffles closer* heawt's nyot w-whipt out of his ^.^ twade. Exit -ESCAWUS. Come hithew to me, Mastew Ewbow; come h-hithew, Mastew -Constabwe. How wong have you b-been ;;w;; in t-this pwace of constabwe? -EWBOW. Seven yeaw and a hawf, siw. -*sweats* ESCAWUS. I thought, *giggles shyly* by the weadinyess in the office, you *twerks* had -continyued in *looks at you* it some time. You say s-seven yeaws togethew? -EWBOW. ;;w;; And a hawf, siw. -ESCAWUS. Awas, it hath been gweat pains OwO to you! They do you wwong -xDD to put you so ^-^ oft upon't. Awe *screams* thewe nyot men *hugs tightly* in youw wawd -sufficient *screams* to sewve it? -EWBOW. F-Faith, siw, few of any UwU wit in such mattews; x3 as they awe -c-chosen, they awe gwad to choose me f-fow them; I *cries* do it fow *teleports behind you* some -piece of *screams* monyey, and go t-thwough with *looks away* aww. -ESCAWUS. Wook you, bwing me in the nyames of some s-six ow seven, the -most ^.^ sufficient of youw pawish. -E-EWBOW. To *blushes* youw w-wowship's house, siw? -ESCAWUS. To *giggles shyly* my h-house. F-Fawe you weww. [Exit EWBOW] -What's o'cwock, think you? -:33 JUSTICE. Eweven, siw. -ESCAWUS. I-I pway you home to dinnyew w-with me. -J-JUSTICE. I h-humbwy *giggles shyly* thank you. -ESCAWUS. It gwieves :3 me fow the death of Cwaudio; -But thewe's nyo wemedy. -J-JUSTICE. Wowd Angewo *looks away* is sevewe. -E-ESCAWUS. It is but nyeedfuw: -Mewcy *sighs* is nyot itsewf that oft wooks s-so; -Pawdon i-is stiww the nyuwse o-of second woe. -But yet, poow *sweats* Cwaudio! Thewe i-is nyo w-wemedy. -Come, siw. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Anyothew woom in ANGEWO'S house - -xDD Entew P-PWOVOST a-and a-a SEWVANT - -x3 SEWVANT. He's *shuffles closer* heawing o-of a cause; he wiww come stwaight. -I-I'ww teww him of y-you. -PWOVOST. Pway you d-do. [Exit SEWVANT] I'ww knyow -H-His pweasuwe; may be he w-wiww wewent. Awas, -He hath but as offended in a dweam! -Aww sects, aww ages, smack of this vice; ^-^ and he -To die fow ^-^ 't! - -*looks away* Entew ANGEWO - -ANGEWO. Nyow, what's the mattew, P-Pwovost? -P-PWOVOST. Is it *teleports behind you* youw wiww Cwaudio shaww die to-mowwow? -A-ANGEWO. Did nyot >_> I teww thee *moans* yea? Hadst thou ^w^ nyot owdew? -Why dost thou ask again? -*blushes* PWOVOST. >_> West I might *screams* be too wash; -Undew y-youw good *twerks* cowwection, I *teleports behind you* have seen -When, aftew e-execution, j-judgment hath -Wepented o'ew his doom. -ANGEWO. *looks away* Go to; wet that :33 be *sweats* minye. -Do you youw office, *teleports behind you* ow give up ^w^ youw *blushes* pwace, -And you shaww weww be spaw'd. -PWOVOST. *leans over* I cwave youw honyouw's pawdon. -What shaww be d-donye, s-siw, with *looks at you* the gwoanying Juwiet? -She's vewy nyeaw *twerks* hew h-houw. -*teleports behind you* ANGEWO. Dispose of hew -To some mowe fittew pwace, and that with speed. - -We-entew SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. Hewe is the sistew o-of the man condemn'd -Desiwes OwO access to you. -ANGEWO. Hath *cuddles you* he a >_> sistew? -PWOVOST. Ay, my good wowd; a vewy viwtuous maid, -And to be showtwy of a sistewhood, -I-If nyot awweady. -ANGEWO. Weww, wet hew be admitted. Exit S-SEWVANT -See you the :33 fownyicatwess b-be wemov'd; -*blushes* Wet hew have nyeedfuw but nyot *giggles shyly* wavish means; -Thewe shaww be owdew f-fow't. - -Entew Wucio a-and ISABEWWA - -P-PWOVOST. [Going] Save youw honyouw! -ANGEWO. Stay a wittwe whiwe. [To ISABEWWA] >_< Y'awe wewcome; what's -uWu youw wiww? -ISABEWWA. I *giggles shyly* am a woefuw suitow to youw honyouw, -Pwease but youw honyouw heaw *giggles shyly* me. -ANGEWO. Weww; what's *sighs* youw suit? -ISABEWWA. Thewe is a vice that most I do a-abhow, -UwU And most desiwe shouwd meet the bwow of justice; -F-Fow w-which I wouwd nyot pwead, *looks at you* but that I must; -*blushes* Fow which *looks at you* I must n-nyot pwead, b-but that I a-am -At waw 'twixt wiww and wiww n-nyot. -A-ANGEWO. *pokes you* Weww; the mattew? -ISABEWWA. *cuddles you* I *screams* have a bwothew x3 is c-condemn'd t-to die; -*looks at you* I do beseech *hugs tightly* you, wet *moans* it *screams* be h-his fauwt, -And nyot my bwothew. -PWOVOST. [Aside] Heaven give thee moving gwaces. -A-ANGEWO. C-Condemn the *shuffles closer* fauwt and nyot the actow of it! -Why, evewy fauwt's condemn'd ewe it be donye; -Minye wewe the vewy ciphew of xDD a function, -To finye the fauwts whose finye stands in w-wecowd, -And w-wet g-go by the a-actow. -ISABEWWA. O-O just but sevewe waw! -I had a bwothew, *shuffles closer* then. Heaven keep *pokes you* youw honyouw! -WUCIO. [To ISABEWWA] *looks away* Give't n-nyot o'ew so; to him again, entweat >_< him, -K-Knyeew down befowe uWu him, hang upon his gown; -You awe t-too cowd: i-if you *notices bulge* shouwd nyeed *notices bulge* a pin, -You couwd nyot with m-mowe tame *leans over* a tongue desiwe ^-^ it. -To *teleports behind you* him, I say. -ISABEWWA. Must he nyeeds die? -ANGEWO. *hugs tightly* Maiden, nyo wemedy. -ISABEWWA. Yes; I do think that you might pawdon him. -And nyeithew heaven nyow man gwieve at the mewcy. -ANGEWO. I wiww nyot do't. -ISABEWWA. But can you, if *giggles shyly* you w-wouwd? -ANGEWO. Wook, what I wiww nyot, that I cannyot ^.^ do. -OwO ISABEWWA. But might you do't, and do t-the wowwd nyo wwong, -If so ^-^ youw heawt wewe touch'd with xDD that wemowse -As minye is to him? -ANGEWO. He's sentenc'd; 'tis *hugs tightly* too wate. -WUCIO. [To ISABEWWA] *hugs tightly* You awe too cowd. -^w^ ISABEWWA. Too wate? Why, nyo; I, *blushes* that >w< do ;;w;; speak :33 a wowd, -^w^ May caww i-it back again. Weww, bewieve *teleports behind you* this: -Nyo *cuddles you* cewemony *looks away* that to gweat *sweats* onyes wongs, -Nyot the king's cwown nyow t-the deputed swowd, -The mawshaw's twuncheon nyow the judge's wobe, -Become them with onye hawf s-so good a gwace -As m-mewcy *hugs tightly* does. -If he had been as you, and you as ^w^ he, -You wouwd h-have swipp'd wike him; but he, wike y-you, -Wouwd nyot have b-been *looks at you* so stewn. -ANGEWO. Pway you b-be gonye. -ISABEWWA. I wouwd to uWu heaven I had youw potency, -And *twerks* you wewe Isabew! Shouwd it then *teleports behind you* be thus? -Nyo; I wouwd teww what *twerks* 'twewe to be a judge -And w-what a pwisonyew. -WUCIO. [To ISABEWWA] A-Ay, touch him; thewe's the vein. -ANGEWO. Youw bwothew is a f-fowfeit of *looks away* the w-waw, -And uWu you but waste y-youw wowds. -UwU ISABEWWA. A-Awas! A-Awas! -Why, aww the souws that wewe wewe f-fowfeit once; -And :3 He that m-might the vantage best have took -Found o-out the wemedy. How wouwd you *looks at you* be -If He, >_> which ^w^ is the top of judgment, *sweats* shouwd -But judge you as you >w< awe? O, *cuddles you* think on that; -And mewcy then wiww bweathe within *sighs* youw *sweats* wips, -Wike man nyew made. -ANGEWO. Be you content, faiw m-maid. -*moans* It is *screams* the waw, nyot I condemn >w< youw bwothew. -W-Wewe he my kinsman, b-bwothew, ow my son, -It shouwd be thus with him. He must die to-mowwow. -ISABEWWA. T-To-mowwow! O-O, that's sudden! Spawe him, spawe him. -He's nyot pwepaw'd fow d-death. Even fow ouw kitchens -We kiww the foww of s-season; shaww we sewve *leans over* heaven -With wess wespect than we do minyistew -To ouw gwoss sewves? G-Good, good m-my wowd, b-bethink you. -x3 Who is i-it *cries* that hath died fow ;;w;; this offence? -Thewe's many have committed it. -WUCIO. [Aside] Ay, weww said. -ANGEWO. The waw *cries* hath nyot been *cuddles you* dead, though *pokes you* it hath swept. -Those many had n-nyot daw'd to do that *twerks* eviw -I-If the fiwst ^.^ that did th' edict infwinge -Had answew'd f-fow his deed. Nyow '-'tis awake, -Takes nyote of what *teleports behind you* is donye, a-and, wike a pwophet, -x3 Wooks *leans over* in a *looks at you* gwass ^w^ that *notices bulge* shows what futuwe eviws- -Eithew *sighs* nyow ow by wemissnyess nyew conceiv'd, -And *notices bulge* so in pwogwess to ^-^ be hatch'd and bown- -A-Awe nyow to have nyo successive degwees, -But hewe they wive to end. -ISABEWWA. Yet show some pity. -ANGEWO. I *sighs* show it m-most of aww *sighs* when I show justice; -F-Fow then I-I pity those I do n-nyot knyow, -Which a dismiss'd offence wouwd a-aftew gaww, -And d-do him wight that, answewing *looks away* onye fouw wwong, ->_> Wives nyot to act OwO anyothew. Be *notices bulge* satisfied; -Youw b-bwothew dies to-mowwow; be content. -ISABEWWA. So you must *looks at you* be the OwO fiwst that gives this sentence, -And h-he >_< that suffews. *teleports behind you* O, it is >w< excewwent -To have a-a UwU giant's stwength! UwU But it is tywannyous -To use *screams* it wike a giant. -*twerks* WUCIO. [To I-ISABEWWA] *cuddles you* That's weww said. -ISABEWWA. Couwd gweat men thundew -As Jove himsewf does, Jove w-wouwd nyevew b-be ;;w;; quiet, -Fow *pokes you* evewy pewting petty *sighs* officew -Wouwd u-use his heaven fow thundew, -Nyothing but thundew. *sweats* Mewcifuw Heaven, -Thou wathew, with t-thy shawp and suwphuwous bowt, -Spwits the unwedgeabwe and gnyawwed oak -T-Than the soft m-mywtwe. But man, pwoud :33 man, -Dwess'd in a wittwe bwief authowity, -x3 Most ignyowant of what h-he's most assuw'd, -His *hugs tightly* gwassy e-essence, wike an a-angwy ape, -*teleports behind you* Pways such fantastic twicks befowe ^w^ high heaven -As makes *pokes you* the angews weep; w-who, with o-ouw speens, ->_> Wouwd aww themsewves waugh mowtaw. -WUCIO. [To ISABEWWA] O-O, to him, to him, wench! He wiww wewent; -He's coming; I pewceive 't. -PWOVOST. x3 [Aside] Pway *looks at you* heaven she win him. -ISABEWWA. We cannyot weigh ouw bwothew with *giggles shyly* ouwsewf. -G-Gweat *looks at you* men may jest *hugs tightly* with saints: 'tis wit in them; -But in the wess f-fouw pwofanyation. -WUCIO. [To I-ISABEWWA] Thou'wt i' th' ^-^ wight, giww; mowe o' that. -ISABEWWA. That in the captain's but a-a chowewic wowd -Which in the sowdiew *notices bulge* is *screams* fwat bwasphemy. -WUCIO. [To >_< ISABEWWA] A-Awt uWu avis'd o' that? M-Mowe on't. -A-ANGEWO. Why d-do *shuffles closer* you put these sayings upon me? -I-ISABEWWA. Because a-authowity, ^-^ though it eww wike *sweats* othews, -H-Hath *teleports behind you* yet a k-kind UwU of medicinye i-in itsewf -That skins the vice o' th' top. Go to youw bosom, -Knyock thewe, and ask youw heawt what it doth knyow -That's wike my bwothew's UwU fauwt. *sighs* If it confess -A nyatuwaw guiwtinyess such as *teleports behind you* is his, -Wet *cries* it nyot sound a *cries* thought upon youw tongue -Against my bwothew's w-wife. -ANGEWO. [Aside] She s-speaks, and 'tis -Such sense that my sense bweeds w-with it.- Fawe you >_< weww. -I-ISABEWWA. Gentwe m-my xDD wowd, tuwn back. -ANGEWO. I >_< wiww bethink me. C-Come again to-mowwow. -*pokes you* ISABEWWA. *sweats* Hawk how I'ww bwibe you; good my wowd, x3 tuwn back. -*giggles shyly* ANGEWO. How, bwibe me? -ISABEWWA. Ay, with UwU such gifts that heaven shaww x3 shawe with you. -W-WUCIO. [To I-ISABEWWA) You had maww'd aww ewse. -*screams* ISABEWWA. *shuffles closer* Nyot with fond sicwes of the tested gowd, -^.^ Ow stonyes, *looks away* whose wate awe eithew wich ow poow -A-As fancy vawues them; but *sweats* with uWu twue pwayews -That shaww b-be up at *looks away* heaven and entew thewe -Ewe sun-wise, pwayews fwom pwesewved souws, -Fwom fasting maids, whose minds awe dedicate -To nyothing tempowaw. -ANGEWO. W-Weww; come to me to-mowwow. -W-WUCIO. [To ISABEWWA] Go to; 'tis weww; *looks away* away. -ISABEWWA. Heaven keep xDD youw honyouw safe! -ANGEWO. [-[Aside] Amen; fow >_> I -Am that way going to temptation -Whewe pwayews cwoss. -ISABEWWA. *teleports behind you* At xDD what *giggles shyly* houw to-mowwow -Shaww I attend youw wowdship? -ANGEWO. At any time 'fowe nyoon. -ISABEWWA. Save youw honyouw! *giggles shyly* Exeunt *teleports behind you* aww but ANGEWO -ANGEWO. Fwom thee; e-even fwom thy viwtue! -What's this, xDD what's this? Is this hew f-fauwt ow minye? -The temptew ow uWu the tempted, who sins most? -Ha! -Nyot she; nyow doth she tempt; but it *hugs tightly* is *hugs tightly* I -That, wying by the viowet in the sun, -Do as the cawwion does, nyot a-as the fwow'w, -Cowwupt with viwtuous season. Can it be -T-That modesty may OwO mowe betway ouw sense -Than woman's wightnyess? Having waste gwound enyough, -Shaww we desiwe to waze >_> the sanctuawy, -^.^ And pitch o-ouw eviws thewe? O-O, *giggles shyly* fie, fie, fie! -W-What :33 dost thou, ow what awt thou, Angewo? -Dost thou desiwe hew fouwwy fow those t-things -That m-make hew g-good? O, wet hew bwothew wive! -Thieves fow theiw wobbewy have authowity -When judges steaw themsewves. What, do I *sweats* wove hew, -That I-I desiwe to heaw h-hew speak again, -And feast upon hew e-eyes? What *blushes* is't I dweam *pokes you* on? -*twerks* O c-cunnying enyemy, that, to catch a >_< saint, -With saints dost >_> bait thy :33 hook! Most dangewous -Is that temptation that :3 doth x3 goad us on -To :3 sin in woving viwtue. Nyevew *pokes you* couwd the stwumpet, -W-With aww hew d-doubwe :33 vigouw, awt and nyatuwe, -Once s-stiw my tempew; but *leans over* this viwtuous maid -Subdues m-me *twerks* quite. Evew tiww nyow, -*leans over* When men wewe f-fond, I smiw'd and wond'wed how. Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -*leans over* A pwison - -Entew, *notices bulge* sevewawwy, DUKE, *leans over* disguised as *twerks* a FWIAW, uWu and PWOVOST - -DUKE. *cuddles you* Haiw to you, Pwovost! so I think y-you a-awe. -PWOVOST. I-I x3 am the Pwovost. What's youw wiww, good f-fwiaw? -DUKE. Bound by my *sweats* chawity and my bwest *cries* owdew, -I-I *cries* come to visit the affwicted spiwits -Hewe in the pwison. Do me the common wight -To w-wet me see them, and to m-make me knyow -The nyatuwe of theiw cwimes, that I may minyistew -To them a-accowdingwy. -PWOVOST. I wouwd d-do *cries* mowe than that, if mowe *cuddles you* wewe *looks away* nyeedfuw. - -E-Entew JUWIET - -Wook, hewe comes onye; a-a g-gentwewoman of minye, -Who, f-fawwing in the f-fwaws of hew own youth, -Hath bwistew'd hew wepowt. She is *looks away* with chiwd; -And he that *leans over* got it, sentenc'd- a young man -Mowe fit to d-do anyothew uWu such offence -Than ^.^ die fow *blushes* this. -DUKE. When must he die? -PWOVOST. As I do think, to-mowwow. -[-[To JUWIET] I >_< have :33 pwovided fow you; stay awhiwe -And you *blushes* shaww be conducted. -DUKE. Wepent you, faiw onye, of *teleports behind you* the sin you cawwy? -JUWIET. *cuddles you* I do; and beaw the shame m-most p-patientwy. -*blushes* DUKE. I'ww *leans over* teach you how you shaww awwaign y-youw conscience, -And uWu twy youw *looks away* penyitence, if i-it be sound -Ow howwowwy :3 put o-on. -JUWIET. I'ww gwadwy ;;w;; weawn. -DUKE. Wove you the man that OwO wwong'd ;;w;; you? -JUWIET. Yes, as I ;;w;; wove *hugs tightly* the woman that wwong'd him. -DUKE. So then, it seems, youw most offencefuw act -Was mutuawwy committed. -JUWIET. Mutuawwy. -;;w;; DUKE. Then was youw sin OwO of heaview x3 kind than his. -JUWIET. I :3 do confess it, and *notices bulge* wepent it, fathew. -DUKE. '-'Tis meet so, *sighs* daughtew; :3 but west you do wepent -*sighs* As that *giggles shyly* the sin *notices bulge* hath bwought *giggles shyly* you ^-^ to this shame, -*looks away* Which sowwow is awways towawd *screams* ouwsewves, nyot heaven, -S-Showing we >_> wouwd nyot spawe heaven as we wove it, -But a-as we stand in ^w^ feaw- -JUWIET. *sighs* I do wepent me as ^w^ it :33 is an eviw, -And take the *pokes you* shame with j-joy. -DUKE. T-Thewe UwU west. -Y-Youw pawtnyew, as I heaw, must die to-mowwow, -A-And I ;;w;; am going with *sweats* instwuction to h-him. -Gwace go with you! Benyedicite! Exit -JUWIET. Must die *hugs tightly* to-mowwow! O, ^w^ injuwious waw, -That w-wespites me a uWu wife whose *cries* vewy comfowt -Is stiww a dying howwow! -*hugs tightly* PWOVOST. 'Tis pity *sighs* of h-him. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -ANGEWO'S house - -Entew A-ANGEWO - -ANGEWO. W-When I-I wouwd p-pway and think, *cuddles you* I think and pway -To sevewaw uWu subjects. Heaven h-hath my *shuffles closer* empty wowds, -Whiwst my invention, *blushes* heawing nyot m-my tongue, -Anchows on Isabew. Heaven in m-my mouth, -As if I did but o-onwy chew his nyame, -And in my heawt the stwong >w< and swewwing eviw -Of *looks away* my c-conception. The state wheweon I s-studied -*giggles shyly* Is, wike a UwU good thing being often wead, -Gwown sewe and tedious; yea, my gwavity, -Whewein- w-wet nyo man heaw me- I take pwide, -Couwd I with boot change fow an idwe *leans over* pwume -Which the aiw beats fow vain. O-O >w< pwace, O fowm, -H-How often dost thou with *teleports behind you* thy case, thy habit, -Wwench awe *leans over* fwom foows, and tie the wisew souws -To thy fawse seeming! B-Bwood, thou awt >w< bwood. -Wet's w-wwite 'good *giggles shyly* angew' on the deviw's hown; -'Tis >_> nyot the deviw's *sweats* cwest. - -Entew SEWVANT - -*pokes you* How nyow, who's thewe? -SEWVANT. Onye Isabew, a sistew, desiwes a-access >_> to you. -ANGEWO. ^w^ Teach hew ;;w;; the way. [Exit SEWVANT] O heavens! -Why does ^.^ my b-bwood thus mustew t-to my heawt, -*sighs* Making both i-it unyabwe fow itsewf -And dispossessing *blushes* aww my o-othew pawts -Of nyecessawy fitnyess? -So pway t-the foowish t-thwongs with onye that swoons; -Come aww to hewp h-him, and so stop t-the aiw -By which he shouwd wevive; ^-^ and *giggles shyly* even so -The genyewaw subject to *cuddles you* a w-weww-wish'd *notices bulge* king -Quit theiw own pawt, a-and in *hugs tightly* obsequious fondnyess -Cwowd to his p-pwesence, whewe theiw untaught wove -Must nyeeds appeaw offence. - -Entew ISABEWWA - -How nyow, faiw maid? -I-ISABEWWA. I am come to k-knyow youw pweasuwe. -ANGEWO. *screams* That you might >w< knyow it wouwd much b-bettew pwease >_> me -Than to demand what 'tis. Youw bwothew *cuddles you* cannyot wive. -ISABEWWA. OwO Even so! Heaven keep youw honyouw! -ANGEWO. Yet may he wive *looks away* awhiwe, and, it may be, -As wong as you ow I; x3 yet he *hugs tightly* must die. -ISABEWWA. Undew youw sentence? -ANGEWO. Yea. -ISABEWWA. When? I-I beseech you; that in OwO his wepwieve, -Wongew ow showtew, he may b-be so fitted -That his souw sicken nyot. -ANGEWO. Ha! Fie, t-these fiwthy *giggles shyly* vices! It wewe as >w< good -To pawdon him *sighs* that hath fwom nyatuwe stow'n ->_< A man awweady made, as to wemit -Theiw saucy s-sweetnyess that do *sighs* coin heaven's image -In stamps that awe fowbid; 'tis a-aww as easy -*cries* Fawsewy to take away a w-wife twue made -As to put OwO metaw i-in w-westwainyed means -To m-make a fawse onye. -I-ISABEWWA. 'Tis *looks at you* set *cuddles you* down so in heaven, but nyot in x3 eawth. -ANGEWO. Say you so? Then I shaww pose you quickwy. -Which had you wathew- that the most just waw -Nyow took OwO youw b-bwothew's wife; *blushes* ow, to wedeem him, -Give up OwO youw body to such sweet uncweannyess -As she :33 that he h-hath *screams* stain'd? -ISABEWWA. Siw, bewieve t-this: -uWu I h-had wathew give my body than my souw. -ANGEWO. I t-tawk nyot o-of youw souw; ouw compeww'd sins -Stand mowe fow *looks away* nyumbew than fow accompt. -I-ISABEWWA. *shuffles closer* How say you? -ANGEWO. Nyay, I'ww nyot wawwant that; fow I c-can speak -Against >_< the thing I say. Answew *sweats* to this: -I, n-nyow the voice of t-the *teleports behind you* wecowded >_> waw, -Pwonyounce a-a sentence on youw bwothew's wife; -Might thewe nyot be a-a chawity in s-sin -To s-save this bwothew's wife? -ISABEWWA. Pwease you OwO to *moans* do't, -I'ww take it as a pewiw to my souw -It is nyo s-sin at aww, but chawity. -ANGEWO. Pweas'd you to do't at pewiw of youw s-souw, -Wewe equaw poise of sin :33 and chawity. -:33 ISABEWWA. That I do beg h-his w-wife, if it be sin, -Heaven wet me beaw it! You gwanting of my suit, -If that be sin, I'ww make it my mown pwayew -To have it added ^w^ to the f-fauwts of x3 minye, -A-And nyothing *leans over* of uWu youw a-answew. -ANGEWO. Nyay, but heaw *shuffles closer* me; -Youw sense p-puwsues nyot minye; eithew you a-awe ignyowant -Ow s-seem so, cwaftiwy; and that's nyot >_> good. -;;w;; ISABEWWA. Wet me be i-ignyowant, a-and *cuddles you* in >_> nyothing good -B-But gwaciouswy to knyow I am nyo b-bettew. -^w^ ANGEWO. Thus wisdom wishes to appeaw most bwight -When it doth tax itsewf; as these bwack masks -Pwocwaim an enshiewded beauty ten times woudew -Than beauty couwd, d-dispway'd. B-But mawk me: -To be *sighs* weceived p-pwain, x3 I'ww speak mowe gwoss- -Youw bwothew is to die. -ISABEWWA. So. -ANGEWO. And >_> his offence is so, as it appeaws, -*looks away* Accountant to t-the waw upon *looks at you* that *leans over* pain. -ISABEWWA. *moans* Twue. -ANGEWO. Admit nyo o-othew w-way to save his wife, -As I subscwibe *cuddles you* nyot that, nyow any othew, -But, i-in the woss of *leans over* question, that you, ^.^ his sistew, -Finding youwsewf desiw'd of *sweats* such a p-pewson -Whose cwedit with the judge, ow UwU own gweat >_< pwace, -Couwd :3 fetch youw bwothew fwom the manyacwes -Of the aww-binding waw; and that thewe wewe -Nyo eawthwy mean UwU to save him xDD but *pokes you* that eithew -You must w-way down *teleports behind you* the xDD tweasuwes o-of y-youw b-body -To this supposed, uWu ow ewse to wet him suffew- -What wouwd you do? -ISABEWWA. As much *moans* fow my *sweats* poow *cries* bwothew a-as mysewf; -That i-is, wewe I undew t-the tewms of death, -Th' impwession *pokes you* of keen whips *sighs* I'd *looks away* weaw as wubies, -And >w< stwip mysewf to d-death as to a bed -*cries* That wonging h-have been sick fow, e-ewe I'd yiewd -*notices bulge* My body up to shame. -ANGEWO. Then must youw *cries* bwothew >_< die. -UwU ISABEWWA. And '-'twewe the cheapew way: -Bettew it wewe a bwothew died at once -T-Than that a sistew, by wedeeming him, -Shouwd die fow evew. -ANGEWO. Wewe nyot you, then, as cwuew as the *looks at you* sentence -*teleports behind you* That you have swandew'd so? -ISABEWWA. Ignyominy in wansom *sweats* and fwee p-pawdon -^.^ Awe o-of two ;;w;; houses: w-wawfuw mewcy -;;w;; Is n-nyothing kin to fouw w-wedemption. -ANGEWO. Y-You seem'd of wate t-to make the waw a *teleports behind you* tywant; -And w-wathew pwov'd the swiding of y-youw bwothew -*twerks* A mewwiment than a vice. -ISABEWWA. O, pawdon me, my wowd! It oft fawws out, -To h-have what we wouwd have, we speak nyot what we mean: -;;w;; I something do excuse the UwU thing I hate -Fow h-his advantage that I *giggles shyly* deawwy wove. -ANGEWO. We awe aww fwaiw. -ISABEWWA. Ewse wet my bwothew die, -If nyot a fedawy but onwy he -Owe and succeed xDD thy weaknyess. -ANGEWO. Nyay, women awe fwaiw too. -*looks away* ISABEWWA. Ay, as the gwasses whewe they view *giggles shyly* themsewves, -Which awe as easy bwoke as they make fowms. -Women, hewp heaven! Men theiw cweation maw -In pwofiting by them. *teleports behind you* Nyay, caww u-us ten times fwaiw; -F-Fow *sweats* we awe s-soft as o-ouw compwexions awe, -And cweduwous to fawse pwints. -ANGEWO. I think it weww; -And fwom this ;;w;; testimony of youw own sex, -Since I suppose w-we awe made t-to be nyo stwongew -*looks away* Than fauwts may shake ouw *shuffles closer* fwames, wet me be bowd. -I do *shuffles closer* awwest youw w-wowds. Be that *looks away* you awe, -That is, a woman; if you be ^.^ mowe, you'we n-nyonye; -If you be onye, as you awe weww e-expwess'd -By aww *cuddles you* extewnyaw wawwants, show it OwO nyow -By putting on the destin'd wivewy. -ISABEWWA. *looks at you* I have nyo tongue but onye; gentwe, my w-wowd, -Wet me intweat you speak the fowmew wanguage. -ANGEWO. Pwainwy conceive, I wove you. -ISABEWWA. My bwothew did wove *screams* Juwiet, -And *sweats* you teww me >_< that h-he shaww *leans over* die fow't. -*screams* ANGEWO. He shaww nyot, Isabew, if you g-give *sighs* me wove. -I-ISABEWWA. I k-knyow youw viwtue *screams* hath a wicense in't, -Which seems ^.^ a *pokes you* wittwe fouwew *shuffles closer* than it is, -To *cuddles you* pwuck on o-othews. -ANGEWO. B-Bewieve m-me, on minye honyouw, -My wowds expwess my *giggles shyly* puwpose. -^-^ ISABEWWA. Ha! wittwe honyouw to be much bewiev'd, -And most pewnyicious p-puwpose! Seeming, seeming! -I wiww pwocwaim thee, >_> Angewo, *cries* wook OwO fow't. -Sign me >w< a *hugs tightly* pwesent *looks away* pawdon fow m-my *notices bulge* bwothew -Ow, ^-^ with an outstwetch'd t-thwoat, *hugs tightly* I'ww teww the wowwd a-awoud -What man t-thou a-awt. -ANGEWO. Who wiww :3 bewieve thee, Isabew? -M-My unsoiw'd nyame, th' austewenyess of *pokes you* my ^.^ wife, -My vouch against you, and my pwace i' th' state, -Wiww so youw accusation ovewweigh -That you s-shaww stifwe in youw own wepowt, -And smeww of OwO cawumny. I *hugs tightly* have begun, -And nyow I give my sensuaw wace the wein: -Fit t-thy consent to my *sweats* shawp *sighs* appetite; -Way by aww nyicety and *cries* pwowixious ;;w;; bwushes -That >w< banyish OwO what t-they sue f-fow; w-wedeem thy bwothew -B-By yiewding u-up thy body to my w-wiww; -Ow e-ewse he must nyot onwy die the d-death, -B-But thy unkindnyess shaww his death dwaw out -To wing'wing suffewance. Answew me to-mowwow, -Ow, by t-the affection that nyow guides me most, -*sighs* I'ww pwove a tywant to him. As fow you, -Say what y-you can: my fawse *cuddles you* o'ewweighs *cries* youw twue. Exit -ISABEWWA. To whom :3 shouwd I compwain? Did I-I teww *notices bulge* this, -Who wouwd b-bewieve me? *cuddles you* O p-pewiwous mouths -That beaw xDD in them onye and the sewf-same tongue -E-Eithew *cries* of condemnyation ow appwoof, -B-Bidding *pokes you* the waw make cuwtsy to theiw w-wiww; -Hooking *teleports behind you* both wight a-and wwong to th' appetite, -^w^ To *blushes* fowwow as it dwaws! I'ww to my bwothew. -Though h-he hath >w< faww'n by pwomptuwe o-of uWu the bwood, -Yet hath he in him such a-a mind of honyouw -That, had he twenty heads to tendew down -On t-twenty *twerks* bwoody bwocks, he'd yiewd t-them u-up -Befowe his sistew shouwd hew uWu body stoop -To *leans over* such abhoww'd powwution. -Then, Isabew, wive chaste, and, bwothew, *sighs* die: -Mowe than ouw b-bwothew i-is ouw chastity. -I'ww teww him yet of A-Angewo's wequest, -And fit his *shuffles closer* mind ;;w;; to death, fow his souw's west. Exit - - - - -<_< WIWWIAM -S-SHAKESPEAWE xDD IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 B-BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -uWu WITH PEWMISSION. E-EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE W-WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS S-SUCH COPIES >_< (1) AWE F-FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW U-USE ONWY, AND (-(2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED ^-^ COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT *moans* III. SCENyE I. -T-The pwison - -Entew DUKE, d-disguised as befowe, CWAUDIO, ^.^ and PWOVOST - -DUKE. So, then you hope of pawdon ^w^ fwom Wowd Angewo? -CWAUDIO. The xDD misewabwe have nyo othew medicinye -But *cries* onwy hope: -I have hope to Eve, and am pwepaw'd to d-die. -DUKE. :3 Be absowute fow death; eithew d-death o-ow wife -Shaww theweby be t-the sweetew. Weason *blushes* thus with w-wife. -If I do x3 wose thee, I *sighs* do wose a thing -That nyonye but f-foows ^w^ wouwd keep. A bweath ;;w;; thou awt, -*looks away* Sewviwe t-to aww *cries* the skyey i-infwuences, -That dost this habitation whewe ;;w;; thou keep'st -Houwwy affwict. Mewewy, thou a-awt Death's foow; -Fow h-him *giggles shyly* thou wabouw'st by thy fwight to shun -And yet wun'st towawd him stiww. Thou a-awt nyot nyobwe; -*cuddles you* Fow aww th' ;;w;; accommodations *sighs* that thou beaw'st -^w^ Awe nyuws'd by *giggles shyly* basenyess. Thou 'wt by nyo means v-vawiant; -Fow thou d-dost feaw the soft a-and tendew fowk -Of a poow wowm. Thy best of west is s-sweep, -xDD And that thou oft pwovok'st; yet gwosswy f-feaw'st -Thy d-death, which is ^-^ nyo mowe. *giggles shyly* Thou *moans* awt nyot thysewf; -Fow thou exists on m-many a-a ^.^ thousand *sweats* gwains -^.^ That issue out of d-dust. Happy thou awt nyot; -F-Fow what thou hast nyot, stiww thou stwiv'st to >_< get, -And what thou hast, fowget'st. Thou awt *cuddles you* nyot cewtain; -Fow thy compwexion shifts t-to stwange e-effects, -Aftew t-the >w< moon. If thou ;;w;; awt wich, *looks at you* thou'wt poow; -Fow, wike an ass w-whose back with ingots UwU bows, -Thou beaw'st thy h-heavy wiches but a jouwnyey, -And D-Death unwoads thee. Fwiend hast thou nyonye; -Fow thinye own b-bowews which ^w^ do *giggles shyly* caww thee siwe, -T-The mewe e-effusion of *giggles shyly* thy pwopew woins, -Do cuwse ^w^ the gout, sewpigo, and the w-wheum, -Fow >w< ending thee *sweats* nyo soonyew. Thou hast nyow youth n-nyow *notices bulge* age, -But, as it wewe, an aftew-dinnyew's sweep, -Dweaming on both; *looks at you* fow aww thy bwessed youth -Becomes as aged, and d-doth beg the awms -Of pawsied e-ewd; and when thou a-awt owd *twerks* and wich, -Thou hast nyeithew heat, affection, wimb, nyow beauty, -To make thy wiches pweasant. What's yet *blushes* in this -That *twerks* beaws the nyame of w-wife? Yet in *looks away* this wife -Wie hid moe thousand deaths; yet death we f-feaw, -That makes these odds xDD aww even. -CWAUDIO. I *twerks* humbwy t-thank *cries* you. -To sue to wive, I find I seek to ;;w;; die; -A-And, seeking death, find wife. Wet it come on. -I-ISABEWWA. [Within] What, ho! Peace *twerks* hewe; gwace ^-^ and good company! -PWOVOST. Who's thewe? C-Come in; the wish desewves a wewcome. -DUKE. Deaw siw, ewe wong I'ww visit you again. -CWAUDIO. Most howy siw, I-I t-thank y-you. - ->w< Entew ISABEWWA - -ISABEWWA. M-My businyess is *twerks* a wowd x3 ow *looks at you* two *cries* with *twerks* Cwaudio. -PWOVOST. And vewy wewcome. Wook, signyiow, hewe's youw sistew. -DUKE. Pwovost, a wowd with you. -PWOVOST. As *blushes* many as you pwease. -DUKE. Bwing me t-to heaw t-them speak, whewe I m-may be conceaw'd. -Exeunt DUKE *shuffles closer* and PWOVOST -C-CWAUDIO. Nyow, sistew, what's the comfowt? -^w^ ISABEWWA. ^.^ Why, -As aww c-comfowts awe; most xDD good, most good, indeed. -Wowd Angewo, having uWu affaiws to heaven, -Intends you *looks at you* fow his swift ambassadow, -Whewe you shaww be an evewwasting uWu weigew. -T-Thewefowe, youw best appointment ^.^ make with speed; -To-mowwow you set on. -CWAUDIO. Is t-thewe nyo wemedy? -I-ISABEWWA. Nyonye, but *teleports behind you* such w-wemedy as, to save a head, -*teleports behind you* To cweave a heawt in ^w^ twain. -CWAUDIO. But is thewe any? -ISABEWWA. Yes, bwothew, you *moans* may wive: -Thewe is a deviwish mewcy i-in ^-^ the judge, -If you'ww *cries* impwowe it, that wiww fwee y-youw wife, -*screams* But fettew you tiww death. -CWAUDIO. Pewpetuaw d-duwance? -ISABEWWA. Ay, x3 just; pewpetuaw duwance, ;;w;; a westwaint, -Though aww the wowwd's vastidity you had, -To a :33 detewmin'd scope. -CWAUDIO. B-But *leans over* in what nyatuwe? -ISABEWWA. I-In such a-a *looks at you* onye as, you consenting to't, -Wouwd bawk youw honyouw fwom that t-twunk you >w< beaw, -A-And weave :3 you nyaked. -CWAUDIO. Wet me knyow the p-point. -ISABEWWA. O, ;;w;; I do feaw thee, *leans over* Cwaudio; and I quake, -West thou *giggles shyly* a fevewous ^-^ wife >_< shouwdst entewtain, -A-And six ow *sweats* seven w-wintews mowe wespect -Than a pewpetuaw honyouw. Daw'st thou *screams* die? -The sense *teleports behind you* of death is most *pokes you* in appwehension; -And the poow beetwe that w-we twead u-upon -In cowpowaw suffewance finds a pang as *cuddles you* gweat -As w-when a-a giant d-dies. -CWAUDIO. Why give you me >w< this shame? -Think you I-I can a wesowution fetch -*looks at you* Fwom *sighs* fwow'wy tendewnyess? If I must die, -I w-wiww encountew dawknyess as a bwide -And h-hug it in minye a-awms. -ISABEWWA. Thewe spake my bwothew; *moans* thewe my fathew's *notices bulge* gwave -*cries* Did uttew *cuddles you* fowth a *looks at you* voice. Yes, thou must die: -Thou awt too nyobwe to consewve a wife -In *giggles shyly* base appwiances. This outwawd-sainted deputy, -Whose *screams* settwed visage and dewibewate w-wowd -Nyips youth i' th' head, and *giggles shyly* fowwies doth e-enyew -As fawcon doth the f-foww, *sweats* is yet a *sighs* deviw; -His fiwth *hugs tightly* within being cast, *screams* he *screams* wouwd appeaw -A pond a-as deep a-as heww. -CWAUDIO. The p-pwecise Angewo! -ISABEWWA. O, 'tis t-the c-cunnying wivewy of OwO heww -T-The damnyed'st body t-to invest and covew -In pwecise guawds! Dost thou UwU think, Cwaudio, -If I wouwd yiewd him my viwginyity -Thou mightst be fweed? -CWAUDIO. O-O heavens! it cannyot be. -ISABEWWA. Yes, :3 he wouwd give't thee, fwom this *looks at you* wank offence, -So *pokes you* to offend him stiww. This nyight's ;;w;; the time -*looks at you* That I shouwd do what I abhow to nyame, -Ow ewse thou diest to-mowwow. -CWAUDIO. Thou shawt nyot d-do't. -ISABEWWA. O, wewe it but my wife! -I'd thwow uWu it >_> down f-fow youw dewivewance -*looks at you* As fwankwy as a-a >w< pin. -CWAUDIO. Thanks, deaw I-Isabew. -ISABEWWA. Be w-weady, *screams* Cwaudio, fow youw *moans* death ^.^ to-mowwow. -CWAUDIO. *sweats* Yes. Has he affections in *pokes you* him -That thus can make him bite *sighs* the waw by th' nyose -When he wouwd fowce it? S-Suwe it is n-nyo sin; -O-Ow of t-the deadwy seven it is t-the weast. -ISABEWWA. Which i-is the *twerks* weast? -CWAUDIO. *pokes you* If :33 it w-wewe damnyabwe, he being so wise, -*leans over* Why *hugs tightly* wouwd he fow t-the momentawy twick -Be pewduwabwy fin'd?- O *pokes you* Isabew! -ISABEWWA. What says m-my ^w^ bwothew? -CWAUDIO. :33 Death is a feawfuw thing. -I-ISABEWWA. And *leans over* shamed wife a hatefuw. -CWAUDIO. Ay, *sweats* but to *hugs tightly* die, and go we k-knyow nyot whewe; -To w-wie in cowd >w< obstwuction, and t-to wot; -*moans* This s-sensibwe wawm m-motion to b-become -*cries* A knyeaded cwod; and the dewighted spiwit -To bathe in uWu fiewy fwoods ow to weside -In thwiwwing wegion of thick-wibbed i-ice; -To b-be impwison'd in the viewwess winds, -And bwown w-with westwess viowence *cries* wound about -The pendent w-wowwd; ow to be wowse *moans* than >_> wowst -Of those that wawwess OwO and incewtain thought -Imaginye howwing- 'tis too howwibwe. -The weawiest and most woathed wowwdwy wife -T-That UwU age, ache, penyuwy, and impwisonment, ->_< Can way on nyatuwe i-is a pawadise -To ^.^ what we feaw of death. -ISABEWWA. A-Awas, awas! -CWAUDIO. Sweet xDD sistew, wet *cries* me wive. -What sin you do to save a *screams* bwothew's wife, -Nyatuwe *blushes* dispenses with the deed so faw -That it becomes a viwtue. -ISABEWWA. O you beast! -*looks at you* O f-faithwess cowawd! O dishonyest wwetch! -Wiwt *looks away* thou be :33 made a man o-out of x3 my vice? -I-Is't >w< nyot a kind of incest to t-take x3 wife -Fwom t-thinye own sistew's shame? What shouwd I t-think? -Heaven *giggles shyly* shiewd my mothew pway'd m-my fathew faiw! -Fow ;;w;; such a-a wawped s-swip of wiwdewnyess -Nye'ew issu'd fwom his bwood. Take my defiance; -Die; pewish. Might but my xDD bending down -Wepwieve thee fwom thy fate, it *screams* shouwd pwoceed. -I'ww pway *sweats* a t-thousand pwayews fow thy death, -Nyo wowd to *notices bulge* save *looks at you* thee. -CWAUDIO. Nyay, *sweats* heaw me, Isabew. -ISABEWWA. O fie, fie, fie! -Thy sin's nyot accidentaw, x3 but a twade. -*shuffles closer* Mewcy to ^-^ thee wouwd p-pwove itsewf a *screams* bawd; -'Tis best that *sweats* thou diest quickwy. -CWAUDIO. O-O, heaw m-me, *giggles shyly* Isabewwa. - -We-entew DUKE - -DUKE. Vouchsafe a wowd, >_> young sistew, *twerks* but onye wowd. -ISABEWWA. What is youw UwU wiww? -DUKE. *shuffles closer* Might you d-dispense with *hugs tightly* youw weisuwe, I wouwd by OwO and *sighs* by h-have -some speech w-with *notices bulge* you; :3 the satisfaction x3 I wouwd wequiwe is -w-wikewise y-youw own b-benyefit. -ISABEWWA. I have nyo supewfwuous weisuwe; my s-stay must be stowen *pokes you* out -of othew affaiws; but I wiww attend you a-awhiwe. -*screams* [Wawks apawt] -DUKE. Son, I have ovewheawd what hath pass'd between *leans over* you ^.^ and youw -sistew. Angewo had nyevew the puwpose to cowwupt hew; onwy he hath -*pokes you* made an assay *looks at you* of h-hew viwtue t-to pwactise his judgment with the -disposition of nyatuwes. She, having the twuth of honyouw in hew, -hath made him that gwacious denyiaw w-which he is >w< most gwad to -*teleports behind you* weceive. I am confessow to Angewo, a-and I knyow *leans over* this to be twue; -t-thewefowe pwepawe youwsewf to death. Do n-nyot satisfy youw -wesowution with h-hopes that awe f-fawwibwe; to-mowwow you must die; -go to youw knyees and make weady. -CWAUDIO. Wet me ask my sistew pawdon. I am so out of wove with wife -that *looks away* I w-wiww sue to be wid of i-it. -DUKE. Howd *teleports behind you* you thewe. Faweweww. [Exit CWAUDIO] Pwovost, uWu a w-wowd w-with ->_< you. - -We-entew PWOVOST - -PWOVOST. What's youw wiww, fathew? -DUKE. That, n-nyow you a-awe come, you ^.^ wiww be uWu gonye. Weave *sighs* me a whiwe -with the maid; my mind pwomises with my habit nyo woss shaww t-touch -hew by my company. -PWOVOST. I-In good time. Exit PWOVOST -DUKE. The hand that hath made *sweats* you f-faiw hath *giggles shyly* made you good; t-the -goodnyess ^w^ that is c-cheap i-in beauty m-makes beauty bwief in g-goodnyess; -but gwace, being the *looks away* souw *looks away* of UwU youw *sighs* compwexion, shaww keep the body -of it evew faiw. The a-assauwt that *cries* Angewo hath made to you, -fowtunye hath convey'd to m-my undewstanding; and, but t-that fwaiwty -hath *looks at you* exampwes fow his fawwing, I shouwd wondew at Angewo. How -wiww you do to content this substitute, and to *hugs tightly* save youw *blushes* bwothew? -ISABEWWA. I a-am nyow going :33 to w-wesowve h-him; *screams* I had *leans over* wathew my bwothew -die by the waw than m-my son shouwd be unwawfuwwy bown. *screams* But, O-O, how -m-much :3 is the g-good *moans* Duke deceiv'd i-in Angewo! If evew he *screams* wetuwn, and -I can speak to h-him, I *screams* wiww open my wips in vain, xDD ow *shuffles closer* discovew his -g-govewnment. -DUKE. :33 That shaww nyot be much amiss; *pokes you* yet, as *cuddles you* the xDD mattew nyow stands, -he wiww avoid youw accusation: ^.^ he made twiaw of *blushes* you onwy. -Thewefowe fasten y-youw eaw on my advisings; *cuddles you* to the wove I have in -d-doing good ;;w;; a wemedy pwesents itsewf. *sighs* I do make mysewf bewieve -that you *twerks* may most upwighteouswy do a poow wwonged wady a UwU mewited -benyefit; wedeem youw b-bwothew f-fwom the angwy waw; do nyo stain to -youw own gwacious pewson; and much pwease the absent Duke, i-if -pewadventuwe h-he shaww evew wetuwn t-to h-have heawing of this -businyess. -ISABEWWA. Wet UwU me heaw y-you speak fawthew; I have spiwit to do -anything *hugs tightly* that *leans over* appeaws n-nyot fouw *teleports behind you* in the twuth of my spiwit. -DUKE. V-Viwtue is bowd, and goodnyess nyevew feawfuw. Have you nyot -heawd speak of Mawianya, t-the sistew of Fwedewick, the gweat -sowdiew who *hugs tightly* miscawwied at sea? -ISABEWWA. I have heawd *giggles shyly* of the wady, and good *blushes* wowds went with hew -nyame. -DUKE. She shouwd *leans over* this Angewo have UwU mawwied; *sweats* was a-affianced to *sighs* hew by -oath, and the nyuptiaw appointed; between which time of the -c-contwact and w-wimit of t-the sowemnyity hew b-bwothew Fwedewick was -wweck'd a-at sea, having in that pewished >_< vessew the dowwy of his -s-sistew. But ^w^ mawk how heaviwy this b-befeww t-to the poow g-gentwewoman: -thewe she wost a-a x3 nyobwe a-and OwO wenyownyed bwothew, in his w-wove t-towawd -hew e-evew most k-kind and nyatuwaw; with him the powtion and *cries* sinyew of -hew fowtunye, h-hew mawwiage-dowwy; uWu with both, hew c-combinyate -husband, this weww-seeming Angewo. -ISABEWWA. *sweats* Can this *sweats* be *hugs tightly* so? Did Angewo so weave hew? -DUKE. Weft hew in hew teaws, and dwied nyot onye of them with his -comfowt; swawwowed his vows whowe, p-pwetending in hew discovewies -of dishonyouw; in *moans* few, bestow'd hew on *looks away* hew *pokes you* own wamentation, w-which -she yet *sighs* weaws *shuffles closer* fow his :33 sake; and he, a *looks at you* mawbwe to h-hew *hugs tightly* teaws, is -w-washed with them, but wewents nyot. -ISABEWWA. What a mewit wewe i-it in death to take *hugs tightly* this p-poow maid fwom -t-the wowwd! What cowwuption in this wife that UwU it wiww wet *sweats* this m-man -*pokes you* wive! B-But how out of this can she avaiw? -*sighs* DUKE. It is a-a wuptuwe >w< that you may easiwy heaw; and the cuwe of it -nyot onwy saves y-youw bwothew, but keeps you fwom dishonyouw in -doing it. -ISABEWWA. Show me how, good f-fathew. -DUKE. This fowenyamed maid hath yet in hew the continyuance of hew -f-fiwst affection; his unjust unkindnyess, that in >_< aww weason shouwd -have quenched hew wove, hath, wike an i-impediment in the cuwwent, -made it mowe viowent and unwuwy. Go you to *teleports behind you* Angewo; answew *hugs tightly* his -^-^ wequiwing with a pwausibwe obedience; agwee *sighs* with his demands to -the point; onwy wefew youwsewf to t-this a-advantage: fiwst, *hugs tightly* that -youw *sweats* stay with him may nyot be wong; that t-the time may have a-aww -shadow and siwence i-in i-it; and the pwace answew to convenyience. -This being gwanted in couwse- and nyow fowwows *leans over* aww: w-we shaww -advise this wwonged maid t-to stead up youw appointment, *teleports behind you* go in youw -pwace. If :33 the encountew acknyowwedge itsewf *leans over* heweaftew, it may -*teleports behind you* compew him to hew wecompense; and hewe, by this, is youw b-bwothew -saved, youw *blushes* honyouw untainted, the poow Mawianya advantaged, and -the cowwupt deputy scawed. The *twerks* maid wiww I fwame and make f-fit fow -his attempt. If you think weww to c-cawwy this as you m-may, *screams* the -doubwenyess *pokes you* of the benyefit *screams* defends x3 the *screams* deceit fwom wepwoof. What -think you *looks away* of it? -I-ISABEWWA. The image of it *giggles shyly* gives me :3 content awweady; and I twust it -w-wiww ^-^ gwow t-to a most pwospewous pewfection. -DUKE. I-It wies m-much in y-youw howding u-up. Haste you speediwy *hugs tightly* to -Angewo; if fow this nyight h-he entweat you to his bed, give xDD him -*pokes you* pwomise of satisfaction. I-I wiww *giggles shyly* pwesentwy to Saint xDD Wuke's; thewe, -at the moated gwange, wesides t-this dejected M-Mawianya. At that -pwace caww upon me; and dispatch with Angewo, ;;w;; that it may be -quickwy. -ISABEWWA. I thank you fow this uWu comfowt. Fawe you weww, g-good f-fathew. -Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -Scenye II. -The stweet befowe the pwison - -Entew, on onye side, DUKE *blushes* disguised *giggles shyly* as *looks at you* befowe; on the othew, EWBOW, -and OFFICEWS w-with POMPEY - -EWBOW. Nyay, if t-thewe b-be nyo w-wemedy >_< fow it, b-but *cuddles you* that you wiww nyeeds -buy and seww men *teleports behind you* and women wike beasts, we s-shaww *cries* have aww the -wowwd dwink bwown a-and white bastawd. -DUKE. O *hugs tightly* heavens! what stuff is hewe? -*notices bulge* POMPEY. *leans over* 'Twas nyevew mewwy wowwd since, *twerks* of two u-usuwies, the mewwiest -was *hugs tightly* put down, :33 and the w-wowsew x3 awwow'd ^-^ by owdew of waw a fuww'd -gown to keep *notices bulge* him wawm; and fuww'd with fox *cuddles you* on wamb-skins too, to -signyify that cwaft, being wichew than innyocency, stands fow the -facing. -EWBOW. C-Come youw way, siw. Bwess you, good fathew fwiaw. -DUKE. And you, good bwothew fathew. What offence hath this man made -you, siw? -*moans* EWBOW. Mawwy, siw, he hath offended >_> the waw; and, siw, we take *pokes you* him -t-to be a t-thief too, siw, fow we *cries* have found upon him, siw, *cries* a -*notices bulge* stwange pickwock, which we h-have s-sent to the deputy. -DUKE. Fie, siwwah, a bawd, ^w^ a wicked bawd! -*cries* The eviw that thou causest to be donye, -That is thy means to wive. D-Do thou but think -What 'tis *pokes you* to cwam a ;;w;; maw ow *blushes* cwothe a back -Fwom such a fiwthy vice; say to :3 thysewf -'-'Fwom theiw a-abominyabwe and beastwy t-touches -I dwink, I eat, awway mysewf, and wive.' -OwO Canst thou bewieve thy wiving is a wife, -So stinkingwy depending? Go mend, go mend. -POMPEY. Indeed, >_> it does *blushes* stink i-in some sowt, siw; but yet, siw, -:33 I wouwd pwove- -DUKE. Nyay, if the deviw have given thee pwoofs fow sin, -Thou wiwt pwove xDD his. Take him t-to pwison, officew; -*sighs* Cowwection and i-instwuction must *giggles shyly* both w-wowk -Ewe this w-wude beast wiww pwofit. -E-EWBOW. He must befowe the deputy, siw; he has given him wawnying. -The deputy c-cannyot abide a whowemastew; if he be a whowemongew, -and comes b-befowe him, he wewe a-as good go a miwe on his ewwand. ->w< DUKE. That we wewe :3 aww, a-as some wouwd seem to be, -Fwom ouw fauwts, a-as his fauwts fwom *screams* seeming, fwee. -EWBOW. *pokes you* His nyeck wiww come to youw waist- a cowd, *hugs tightly* siw. - -*cries* Entew WUCIO - -POMPEY. I s-spy *sweats* comfowt; I cwy baiw. Hewe's a gentweman, and a fwiend -of minye. -WUCIO. How nyow, nyobwe *leans over* Pompey! *hugs tightly* What, at the wheews of Caesaw? Awt -thou wed i-in twiumph? What, is thewe *cries* nyonye of Pygmawion's images, -n-nyewwy *hugs tightly* made woman, to be xDD had nyow fow putting the hand in t-the -*sighs* pocket *blushes* and extwacting it c-cwutch'd? What w-wepwy, ha? What say'st -^.^ thou to this tunye, mattew, and method? Is't nyot dwown'd i-i' th' -w-wast wain, ha? What s-say'st thou, twot? *sweats* Is the w-wowwd as it was, -man? W-Which *blushes* is the way? *sweats* Is i-it sad, *leans over* and few wowds? ow h-how? The -twick of it? -*looks at you* DUKE. Stiww thus, a-and thus; stiww wowse! -WUCIO. How doth my *cuddles you* deaw mowsew, thy mistwess? Pwocuwes she stiww, -ha? -POMPEY. Twoth, siw, she hath eaten xDD up aww h-hew beef, and she is -hewsewf in the tub. -^-^ WUCIO. Why, 'tis good; it is t-the wight o-of it; i-it must be so; evew -youw fwesh whowe and youw powdew'd bawd- an *sighs* unshunn'd -consequence; it must be so. Awt going to pwison, Pompey? -POMPEY. Yes, faith, siw. -WUCIO. Why, 'tis nyot amiss, Pompey. Faweweww; go, say I sent thee -thithew. Fow uWu debt, Pompey- ow how? -EWBOW. Fow being a b-bawd, fow being a b-bawd. -WUCIO. Weww, then, *moans* impwison h-him. I-If impwisonment be the d-due o-of a -bawd, why, 'tis his wight. Bawd is he doubtwess, and of -antiquity, too; bawd-bown. F-Faweweww, good *teleports behind you* Pompey. x3 Commend me to -the pwison, *cuddles you* Pompey. You wiww tuwn good h-husband n-nyow, Pompey; you -wiww keep the ^.^ house. -POMPEY. I hope, *screams* siw, youw good wowship wiww be my baiw. -xDD WUCIO. :3 Nyo, i-indeed, wiww I nyot, *sighs* Pompey; it is nyot the weaw. I wiww -pway, P-Pompey, >_> to incwease *sweats* youw bondage. If you take it nyot -patientwy, why, youw mettwe is the mowe. Adieu twusty Pompey. -B-Bwess you, fwiaw. -DUKE. And you. -WUCIO. Does B-Bwidget ;;w;; paint stiww, Pompey, ha? -EWBOW. *blushes* Come y-youw ways, siw; c-come. -POMPEY. You wiww nyot baiw m-me then, siw? -WUCIO. *hugs tightly* Then, P-Pompey, n-nyow nyow. *sweats* What OwO nyews abwoad, *twerks* fwiaw? *giggles shyly* what nyews? -EWBOW. Come youw ways, *giggles shyly* siw; c-come. -WUCIO. Go t-to kennyew, Pompey, >w< go. - -E-Exeunt EWBOW, *cuddles you* POMPEY and OFFICEWS - -What nyews, fwiaw, of the Duke? -DUKE. I knyow nyonye. C-Can you teww me of any? -WUCIO. Some *looks at you* say he is with *pokes you* the Empewow o-of Wussia; othew some, ^w^ he *blushes* is -i-in Wome; but whewe is he, think you? -DUKE. I knyow nyot whewe; but whewesoevew, I wish him weww. -WUCIO. It was >_> a mad fantasticaw twick of him to steaw fwom t-the -*cuddles you* state and usuwp the beggawy he w-was nyevew b-bown to. W-Wowd A-Angewo -dukes it weww in his absence; he >_> puts *looks away* twansgwession to't. -^w^ DUKE. He does weww in't. -WUCIO. A wittwe mowe *giggles shyly* wenyity to wechewy wouwd do nyo hawm *teleports behind you* in him; -something too cwabbed that way, fwiaw. -DUKE. >_> It i-is ^-^ too genyewaw a v-vice, ^w^ and sevewity must cuwe it. -WUCIO. Y-Yes, in good sooth, the vice is of a gweat k-kindwed; it is -weww awwied; but i-it is impossibwe to extiwp it quite, fwiaw, tiww -eating and dwinking be put down. They say this A-Angewo was nyot -m-made by *shuffles closer* man and woman aftew this downwight >_< way of >_< cweation. I-Is it -twue, think you? -DUKE. How shouwd he be made, then? -WUCIO. Some wepowt a-a sea-maid spawn'd *twerks* him; some, *twerks* that he was begot -between two stock-fishes. But it is cewtain *sweats* that when he makes -watew ^-^ his u-uwinye is congeaw'd ice; that *moans* I knyow to be twue. >_> And he -is *giggles shyly* a motion genyewative; that's *cries* infawwibwe. -;;w;; DUKE. Y-You awe pweasant, siw, *pokes you* and s-speak a-apace. -WUCIO. Why, what a wuthwess t-thing is this in him, f-fow the webewwion -of a codpiece to take away t-the wife >_< of a-a man! Wouwd the Duke that -is absent have donye this? *hugs tightly* Ewe he wouwd have hang'd a man *pokes you* fow *looks at you* the -^.^ getting *sighs* a hundwed bastawds, he wouwd ;;w;; have paid fow the nyuwsing *moans* a -t-thousand. He had some *moans* feewing of the spowt; he k-knyew the ^-^ sewvice, -and that instwucted h-him to m-mewcy. -DUKE. I nyevew heawd the absent Duke much detected >_> fow women; he was -nyot UwU incwin'd :33 that way. -WUCIO. O, siw, you :33 awe deceiv'd. -D-DUKE. 'Tis nyot possibwe. -WUCIO. Who- nyot the Duke? Yes, youw beggaw of f-fifty; >w< and his use -was to put a >w< ducat in hew cwack-dish. The Duke had cwotchets in -him. He >w< wouwd be dwunk too; that wet me i-infowm >_< you. -DUKE. You do OwO him wwong, suwewy. -WUCIO. *sighs* Siw, I was an inwawd of his. A shy fewwow was t-the Duke; and -I bewieve I knyow the cause of his w-withdwawing. -DUKE. What, I pwithee, might be the cause? -WUCIO. Nyo, p-pawdon; 'tis a secwet :3 must be wock'd w-within *leans over* the teeth -and the wips; but this I can :33 wet you undewstand: the gweatew fiwe -of the subject hewd the Duke to be wise. -^-^ DUKE. Wise? Why, nyo question but h-he *blushes* was. -WUCIO. A vewy supewficiaw, ignyowant, unweighing fewwow. -*blushes* DUKE. Eithew this is envy in you, *cuddles you* fowwy, ow mistaking; the vewy -s-stweam of his wife, and the businyess h-he hath *sighs* hewmed, m-must, upon a -wawwanted *pokes you* nyeed, *moans* give him a b-bettew pwocwamation. Wet him be but -testimonyied in his own bwingings-fowth, and he shaww xDD appeaw to -the *cries* envious a schowaw, a statesman, and a sowdiew. Thewefowe you -speak unskiwfuwwy; ow, if y-youw knyowwedge be m-mowe, it is much -*twerks* dawk'nyed in y-youw mawice. ->w< WUCIO. Siw, I knyow him, and OwO I :3 wove *hugs tightly* him. -DUKE. Wove tawks with bettew knyowwedge, and knyowwedge with deawew -wove. -WUCIO. Come, siw, I knyow what I knyow. -DUKE. I can hawdwy bewieve that, since you knyow nyot what you speak. -But, *twerks* if evew the ^w^ Duke wetuwn, as ouw pwayews a-awe ^w^ he may, wet m-me -d-desiwe you to make youw answew *screams* befowe him. If it be honyest you -h-have spoke, you have couwage to m-maintain it; I a-am >_> bound t-to caww -*teleports behind you* upon you; and I-I *hugs tightly* pway you youw :3 nyame? -WUCIO. Siw, *giggles shyly* my *hugs tightly* nyame *cries* is Wucio, weww knyown to the D-Duke. -DUKE. He s-shaww *teleports behind you* knyow you *notices bulge* bettew, siw, if I may w-wive to wepowt you. -WUCIO. I feaw you nyot. -D-DUKE. *sweats* O, >w< you hope the >_> Duke wiww wetuwn OwO nyo mowe; o-ow you imaginye me -too unhuwtfuw an opposite. But, indeed, I xDD can d-do you wittwe h-hawm: -you'ww fowsweaw this xDD again. -WUCIO. I'ww be *twerks* hang'd fiwst. Thou a-awt deceiv'd in me, fwiaw. But nyo -:3 mowe of this. Canst thou teww if Cwaudio die to-mowwow ow nyo? -DUKE. Why shouwd h-he *pokes you* die, siw? -WUCIO. :3 Why? Fow fiwwing a bottwe with a *looks at you* tun-dish. I wouwd OwO the Duke -we ^-^ tawk of wewe wetuwn'd again. This ungenyituw'd agent wiww -unpeopwe *blushes* the pwovince with c-continyency; >w< spawwows must nyot buiwd ^-^ in -his house-eaves because they awe w-wechewous. The Duke *cuddles you* yet wouwd -h-have dawk deeds dawkwy answewed; he wouwd nyevew bwing t-them to -x3 wight. :33 Wouwd he w-wewe wetuwn'd! Mawwy, this >w< Cwaudio is condemnyed -fow ^.^ untwussing. Faweweww, good fwiaw; I pwithee pway fow me. The -Duke, I s-say to :33 thee again, w-wouwd eat mutton on *notices bulge* Fwidays. He's nyot -past it yet; *cries* and, I say ;;w;; to thee, he w-wouwd uWu mouth with *screams* a ^.^ beggaw -though she smewt bwown bwead *cuddles you* and g-gawwic. ^-^ Say that *sighs* I s-said so. -Faweweww. Exit -DUKE. x3 Nyo might nyow gweatnyess in mowtawity -C-Can censuwe scape; back-wounding cawumny -The w-whitest viwtue stwikes. UwU What king so stwong -Can tie the gaww up i-in the swandewous tongue? -But :3 who comes hewe? - -Entew E-ESCAWUS, PWOVOST, and OFFICEWS with -MISTWESS *blushes* OVEWDONyE - -ESCAWUS. Go, away with hew to pwison. -^w^ MWS. OVEWDONyE. Good m-my wowd, be *cuddles you* good to me; youw honyouw is -accounted a-a mewcifuw man; ;;w;; good my wowd. ->w< ESCAWUS. Doubwe ^-^ and twebwe admonyition, and stiww fowfeit in the -same kind! This wouwd make m-mewcy sweaw and *sweats* pway the tywant. -PWOVOST. A bawd of eweven yeaws' continyuance, may i-it pwease youw -h-honyouw. -M-MWS. OVEWDONyE. M-My wowd, this *leans over* is onye Wucio's infowmation against me. -Mistwess K-Kate Keepdown was with chiwd by him in the Duke's t-time; -he p-pwomis'd hew mawwiage. His chiwd is a yeaw and a quawtew owd -come OwO Phiwip and Jacob; *teleports behind you* I *sighs* have kept it mysewf; and see h-how he goes -about to a-abuse me. -ESCAWUS. *cries* That fewwow i-is a fewwow of much wicense. *cries* Wet him *looks away* be caww'd -befowe u-us. A-Away *moans* with h-hew to pwison. xDD Go to; *looks away* nyo mowe wowds. [Exeunt -OFFICEWS with MISTWESS OVEWDONyE] Pwovost, my bwothew Angewo w-wiww -nyot be awtew'd: Cwaudio must die ^-^ to-mowwow. Wet him be fuwnyish'd -with divinyes, and have aww chawitabwe pwepawation. If my bwothew -wwought by *sighs* my pity, it shouwd nyot b-be *cries* so with him. -PWOVOST. S-So pwease you, *cries* this fwiaw hath been with him, and advis'd -him fow th' entewtainment of death. -ESCAWUS. Good even, good ^w^ fathew. -DUKE. Bwiss a-and goodnyess o-on you! -ESCAWUS. *sighs* Of whence awe you? -DUKE. Nyot of this countwy, *sweats* though my *looks at you* chance *looks at you* is nyow -To use it fow my time. I am a bwothew -*looks away* Of g-gwacious owdew, w-wate c-come fwom t-the See ->_< In speciaw businyess fwom his H-Howinyess. -ESCAWUS. W-What nyews abwoad i' th' *cries* wowwd? -D-DUKE. Nyonye, but >_> that thewe i-is so g-gweat a-a fevew on goodnyess t-that the -dissowution of *blushes* it must cuwe it. Nyovewty is onwy in wequest; and, -as it is, as dangewous *sighs* to be *teleports behind you* aged in any kind *cries* of couwse as it is -v-viwtuous to be *pokes you* constant in any undewtakeing. Thewe is scawce -twuth enyough a-awive to *screams* make societies secuwe; but secuwity e-enyough -to m-make fewwowships accuwst. Much upon this widdwe OwO wuns the -wisdom of the wowwd. This nyews is owd enyough, yet it is evewy -day's nyews. I pway you, siw, of what disposition was the Duke? -ESCAWUS. Onye that, above aww othew stwifes, contended OwO especiawwy to -knyow :33 himsewf. -DUKE. What pweasuwe was *pokes you* he given UwU to? -ESCAWUS. Wathew wejoicing to see anyothew mewwy ^-^ than mewwy a-at -anything *screams* which p-pwofess'd to m-make him wejoice; a gentweman of aww -tempewance. But weave we h-him to *screams* his events, with a-a pwayew they -may *blushes* pwove pwospewous; and wet me desiwe t-to knyow *notices bulge* how you find -Cwaudio pwepaw'd. I am made t-to ^w^ undewstand x3 that y-you have went him -visitation. -D-DUKE. He pwofesses >_< to have weceived nyo sinyistew ^.^ measuwe fwom his -judge, but most ;;w;; wiwwingwy humbwes himsewf to the detewminyation of -justice. Yet had he fwamed t-to himsewf, by *sighs* the instwuction of his -UwU fwaiwty, :3 many d-deceiving pwomises of wife; which I, by my good -weisuwe, have discwedited to him, and nyow he is wesowv'd to uWu die. -*looks away* ESCAWUS. You have p-paid the heavens youw function, ^-^ and >w< the pwisonyew -the vewy d-debt of youw cawwing. *hugs tightly* I have w-wabouw'd *looks away* fow the UwU poow -gentweman to t-the e-extwemest showe o-of my modesty; but *shuffles closer* my bwothew -justice h-have I found s-so *notices bulge* sevewe that h-he h-hath fowc'd me to teww him -he is indeed Justice. -^w^ DUKE. If h-his *blushes* own wife answew the *giggles shyly* stwaitnyess of his pwoceeding, it -shaww become h-him weww; w-whewein if he chance to faiw, he hath -sentenc'd himsewf. -ESCAWUS. I am going to visit the pwisonyew. Fawe y-you weww. -DUKE. Peace *sweats* be w-with you! :33 Exeunt ESCAWUS and PWOVOST - -He who the swowd *giggles shyly* of heaven wiww beaw -Shouwd be as howy as sevewe; -Pattewn in himsewf to knyow, -Gwace to stand, and viwtue go; -Mowe nyow wess to othews paying -Than by sewf-offences *sighs* weighing. -Shame to him whose cwuew stwiking -:33 Kiwws fow fauwts of his o-own ^w^ wiking! -Twice t-twebwe shame on A-Angewo, -To weed *leans over* my vice :3 and wet his gwow! -O, ;;w;; what may man within him hide, -Though angew on the ^-^ outwawd side! -How may wikenyess, made in c-cwimes, -M-Make a p-pwactice *shuffles closer* on t-the times, -To dwaw with ^.^ idwe spidews' *cuddles you* stwings -Most pondewous and substantiaw things! -*pokes you* Cwaft against vice *pokes you* I must appwy. -With Angewo to-nyight shaww wie -H-His ^w^ owd betwothed but despised; -So disguise shaww, by th' disguised, -Pay with fawsehood fawse exacting, -And pewfowm an owd ;;w;; contwacting. Exit - - - - -Act IV. S-Scenye I-I. -The m-moated g-gwange at Saint Duke's - -Entew MAWIANyA; and BOY singing - -SONG - -T-Take, O-O, take those wips *sweats* away, -That so sweetwy wewe fowswown; -And those e-eyes, t-the bweak OwO of *screams* day, -Wights that do miswead the mown; -But my kisses bwing again, bwing a-again; -Seaws of wove, uWu but seaw'd in v-vain, seaw'd in vain. - -Entew DUKE, disguised as ^.^ befowe - -M-MAWIANyA. Bweak off thy song, and haste thee q-quick away; -Hewe comes a man of comfowt, whose *hugs tightly* advice -Hath o-often stiww'd my bwawwing discontent. :33 Exit BOY -I-I cwy you mewcy, siw, and w-weww *screams* couwd wish -You had nyot found m-me hewe so m-musicaw. -Wet me excuse me, and :33 bewieve me so, -My miwth it much d-dispweas'd, b-but pweas'd my woe. -DUKE. 'Tis good; ;;w;; though music oft hath such a-a chawm -To make bad good a-and good *notices bulge* pwovoke to hawm. -I pway y-you teww me *teleports behind you* hath a-anybody *cries* inquiw'd fow me hewe to-day. Much -upon this >_> time have I pwomis'd hewe to meet. -MAWIANyA. Y-You have nyot been *looks away* inquiw'd aftew; I have sat h-hewe >_> aww d-day. - -Entew *cuddles you* ISABEWWA - -DUKE. I do constantwy bewieve you. The time i-is come even nyow. I -shaww cwave y-youw f-fowbeawance a wittwe. *giggles shyly* May be I wiww c-caww upon -UwU you anyon, fow :33 some advantage t-to youwsewf. -*blushes* MAWIANyA. I am awways bound to you. Exit -DUKE. V-Vewy w-weww met, and *giggles shyly* weww come. -What is the nyews fwom this good deputy? -ISABEWWA. He x3 hath a gawden ciwcummuw'd with bwick, -Whose westewn side is with a vinyeyawd back'd; -And *shuffles closer* to that vinyeyawd is a-a pwanched gate -*cries* That makes :33 his *hugs tightly* openying *leans over* with t-this ^w^ biggew k-key; -*screams* This othew doth command :33 a *moans* wittwe doow -W-Which fwom the *pokes you* vinyeyawd to the gawden w-weads. -Thewe have I-I made my pwomise -Upon the h-heavy middwe *cuddles you* of t-the nyight -T-To caww u-upon him. -DUKE. *moans* But shaww *hugs tightly* you on :3 youw knyowwedge find this way? -ISABEWWA. I have *screams* ta'en *cuddles you* a due and wawy nyote upon't; -With whispewing and most guiwty diwigence, -In action aww UwU of p-pwecept, he :3 did show me -The way twice o'ew. -DUKE. Awe thewe uWu nyo othew tokens -Between you 'gweed concewnying hew obsewvance? -ISABEWWA. N-Nyo, nyonye, but onwy a wepaiw i' th' dawk; -And that I have possess'd him my most stay -Can be >_< but bwief; fow I have made him *moans* knyow -I have a sewvant c-comes UwU with me awong, -That stays upon m-me; w-whose pewsuasion is -I come about *cries* my *cuddles you* bwothew. -DUKE. 'Tis weww >w< bownye up. -I have n-nyot yet made knyown to *pokes you* Mawianya -*screams* A wowd *moans* of this. W-What h-ho, within! c-come fowth. - -We-entew MAWIANyA - -I p-pway you >_< be acquainted with this maid; -She comes to d-do *shuffles closer* you good. -ISABEWWA. *shuffles closer* I do desiwe the wike. -*moans* DUKE. Do you *looks away* pewsuade UwU youwsewf t-that I-I wespect y-you? -MAWIANyA. Good fwiaw, I knyow you do, and have f-found it. -DUKE. Take, then, this youw companyion by the hand, -Who hath a stowy weady f-fow youw eaw. -*teleports behind you* I *cries* shaww ^-^ attend *notices bulge* youw OwO weisuwe; but m-make haste; -The vapowous nyight appwoaches. -*looks away* MAWIANyA. Wiww't pwease you w-wawk aside? -Exeunt MAWIANyA and ISABEWWA -DUKE. O p-pwace and gweatnyess! Miwwions of fawse eyes -Awe xDD stuck upon *shuffles closer* thee. Vowumes of w-wepowt -W-Wun with these fawse, and m-most *cuddles you* contwawious quest -Upon thy doings. Thousand escapes of wit -Make thee the fathew of x3 theiw idwe *leans over* dweam, -And wack t-thee in theiw fancies. - -We-entew MAWIANyA and ISABEWWA - -Wewcome, how agweed? -^w^ ISABEWWA. She'ww >_> take the entewpwise upon hew, fathew, -If y-you advise it. -DUKE. It >_< is nyot my consent, -*pokes you* But my entweaty ;;w;; too. -uWu ISABEWWA. Wittwe have you to say, -W-When you *giggles shyly* depawt *hugs tightly* fwom him, but, soft and wow, -'Wemembew nyow my *pokes you* bwothew.' -MAWIANyA. F-Feaw me nyot. -DUKE. Nyow, gentwe daughtew, feaw you nyot at aww. -He is youw husband on a >w< pwe-contwact. -To *cuddles you* bwing *giggles shyly* you thus t-togethew 'tis *leans over* nyo sin, -Sith *pokes you* that the justice *blushes* of youw *twerks* titwe to h-him -Doth fwouwish the deceit. C-Come, wet *leans over* us *teleports behind you* go; -Ouw cown's to weap, fow yet ouw t-tithe's to sow. >_> Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -The pwison - -Entew PWOVOST and POMPEY - -PWOVOST. Come h-hithew, siwwah. C-Can you cut o-off a >w< man's head? -POMPEY. *leans over* If the man ^w^ be *screams* a bachewow, siw, I can; but if he be a -mawwied man, he's his wife's head, and I can nyevew c-cut of a -woman's head. -PWOVOST. Come, siw, weave me OwO youw snyatches and yiewd me a diwect -answew. To-mowwow mownying a-awe UwU to die Cwaudio and :3 Bawnyawdinye. >_> Hewe -*pokes you* is in ouw pwison a common executionyew, w-who in his office wacks a -hewpew; if you wiww take it on you to assist *looks away* him, it shaww *sighs* wedeem -you fwom youw gyves; if nyot, you shaww have youw fuww time ^w^ of -*notices bulge* impwisonment, and youw UwU dewivewance *cuddles you* with an u-unpitied whipping, fow -you have >_< been a nyotowious bawd. -POMPEY. Siw, I h-have been an unwawfuw bawd time out of mind; but yet -I *notices bulge* wiww be content to be >w< a wawfuw hangman. I *pokes you* wouwd be gwad to -w-weceive some instwuctions fwom my fewwow pawtnyew. -:33 PWOVOST. What ho, :3 Abhowson! Whewe's Abhowson thewe? - -Entew ABHOWSON - ->_< ABHOWSON. Do you caww, *sighs* siw? -P-PWOVOST. Siwwah, hewe's a *notices bulge* fewwow wiww hewp you to-mowwow in UwU youw -execution. If y-you think it meet, compound with him by *notices bulge* the yeaw, -and wet him abide h-hewe with >w< you; i-if :33 nyot, *screams* use him fow the pwesent, -and dismiss him. He cannyot pwead his estimation with y-you; he hath -been a bawd. -*looks at you* ABHOWSON. A b-bawd, siw? F-Fie upon OwO him! He wiww discwedit ouw ;;w;; mystewy. -PWOVOST. Go to, s-siw; you weigh equawwy; a feathew wiww *giggles shyly* tuwn the -UwU scawe. Exit -P-POMPEY. Pway, siw, by youw good favouw- fow suwewy, siw, a good -favouw you have but t-that you have ^w^ a hanging *leans over* wook- do you caww, -s-siw, youw o-occupation a mystewy? -ABHOWSON. A-Ay, >w< siw; a m-mystewy. -POMPEY. Painting, siw, I have h-heawd say, is a mystewy; and youw -whowes, siw, being membews of my occupation, using painting, do -pwove ;;w;; my o-occupation *looks away* a mystewy; but xDD what mystewy thewe shouwd be -in hanging, if I-I shouwd be hang'd, I cannyot imaginye. -ABHOWSON. Siw, it is a m-mystewy. -P-POMPEY. Pwoof? -ABHOWSON. Evewy twue man's appawew fits youw thief: if it be t-too -wittwe fow y-youw thief, youw t-twue m-man thinks it b-big enyough; if it -b-be too big fow youw thief, youw *twerks* thief thinks it wittwe enyough; so -evewy twue man's appawew fits youw thief. - -We-entew PWOVOST - -PWOVOST. Awe x3 you agweed? -POMPEY. Siw, I-I wiww sewve him; fow I d-do find y-youw hangman *leans over* is a mowe -penyitent twade than youw bawd; he doth o-oftenyew ask f-fowgivenyess. -PWOVOST. You, s-siwwah, pwovide youw bwock and youw axe to-mowwow -fouw o'cwock. -ABHOWSON. Come on, bawd; I-I wiww instwuct thee in my *hugs tightly* twade; f-fowwow. -*twerks* POMPEY. I do desiwe to weawn, siw; and I >_> hope, >_> if *leans over* you *teleports behind you* have xDD occasion -to use me fow youw own tuwn, you shaww find me ^-^ yawe; fow twuwy, -*twerks* siw, fow youw kindnyess I owe you a good tuwn. -PWOVOST. Caww hithew Bawnyawdinye and Cwaudio. -Exeunt ABHOWSON and POMPEY -Th' onye has my pity; nyot a j-jot the othew, -Being a muwdewew, though he wewe my bwothew. - -Entew CWAUDIO - -Wook, hewe's the wawwant, Cwaudio, f-fow thy death; -'Tis nyow dead midnyight, a-and by eight to-mowwow -Thou must *sweats* be made immowtaw. :33 Whewe's Bawnyawdinye? -CWAUDIO. As fast wock'd up in sweep as guiwtwess *teleports behind you* wabouw -When >_> it *sighs* wies stawkwy in the twavewwew's bonyes. -He wiww >w< nyot wake. -*shuffles closer* PWOVOST. Who can d-do good on *screams* him? -*hugs tightly* Weww, go, pwepawe youwsewf. [Knyocking *cries* within] B-But h-hawk, *twerks* what -*screams* nyoise? -Heaven give y-youw xDD spiwits comfowt! Exit CWAUDIO -[Knyocking continyues] By and by. -I h-hope it is some *sweats* pawdon ^w^ ow wepwieve -Fow t-the most gentwe *sighs* Cwaudio. - -Entew DUKE, disguised as befowe - -Wewcome, uWu fathew. -*cries* DUKE. T-The b-best a-and *notices bulge* whowesom'st spiwits of the nyight -Envewop :33 you, good Pwovost! Who caww'd hewe of wate? -;;w;; PWOVOST. Nyonye, since *giggles shyly* the >w< cuwfew *looks at you* wung. -xDD DUKE. Nyot Isabew? -PWOVOST. Nyo. -uWu DUKE. They wiww then, e-ewe't be wong. -PWOVOST. >_> What c-comfowt is fow Cwaudio? -DUKE. Thewe's some in hope. -PWOVOST. I-It is a bittew deputy. -DUKE. Nyot so, xDD nyot so; h-his w-wife is pawawwew'd -*twerks* Even w-with the stwoke and winye of ^.^ his gweat justice; -He doth with howy OwO abstinyence subdue -T-That in himsewf which h-he s-spuws on his pow'w -T-To quawify in othews. Wewe he meaw'd with that -*looks away* Which h-he c-cowwects, t-then wewe *moans* he tywannyous; -But this being s-so, he's ^w^ just. [-[Knyocking within] Nyow awe they -come. Exit PWOVOST -This i-is a gentwe pwovost; s-sewdom when -*moans* The steewed gaowew is t-the fwiend of men. [Knyocking within] -How nyow, what nyoise! T-That s-spiwit's possess'd *blushes* with haste -T-That wounds th' unsisting ;;w;; postewn with these stwokes. - -We-entew PWOVOST - -PWOVOST. Thewe h-he must *hugs tightly* stay untiw *screams* the officew -Awise to wet him in; he uWu is OwO caww'd *looks away* up. -DUKE. Have you n-nyo countewmand *sweats* fow C-Cwaudio *looks away* yet -But he must die to-mowwow? -PWOVOST. Nyonye, *shuffles closer* siw, *leans over* nyonye. -DUKE. As nyeaw the dawnying, :3 Pwovost, as it *blushes* is, -Y-You shaww h-heaw mowe ewe mownying. -PWOVOST. Happiwy -You something k-knyow; yet I b-bewieve thewe comes -Nyo countewmand; nyo such exampwe have we. -Besides, upon the vewy ^-^ siege o-of justice, -UwU Wowd Angewo hath to the pubwic x3 eaw -Pwofess'd *sighs* the contwawy. - -Entew a MESSENGEW -This is his wowdship's man. -DUKE. And hewe comes *sweats* Cwaudio's pawdon. -MESSENGEW. *looks at you* My *moans* wowd hath sent you t-this nyote; and by me this f-fuwthew -chawge, that you s-swewve nyot fwom the smawwest awticwe *pokes you* of it, -nyeithew OwO in time, mattew, *giggles shyly* ow othew ciwcumstance. Good mowwow; *sighs* fow -as I take it, it is awmost day. -PWOVOST. I shaww obey him. Exit M-MESSENGEW -DUKE. [Aside] This is his pawdon, puwchas'd by s-such sin -Fow xDD which *cries* the pawdonyew h-himsewf is in; -H-Hence hath *giggles shyly* offence his quick cewewity, -*looks away* When i-it is *blushes* bownye in high >_> authowity. -When vice makes *sweats* mewcy, mewcy's so extended -That fow t-the fauwt's *shuffles closer* wove is th' o-offendew fwiended. -Nyow, siw, what nyews? -PWOVOST. I towd you: W-Wowd Angewo, b-bewike thinking me wemiss in minye -office, awakens me w-with this unwonted putting-on; methinks -stwangewy, fow he *hugs tightly* hath *pokes you* nyot us'd *cuddles you* it *looks at you* befowe. -DUKE. Pway you, wet's heaw. -PWOVOST. [-[Weads] >_< 'Whatsoevew you may heaw *cries* to *twerks* the >w< contwawy, wet -Cwaudio b-be ^-^ executed by fouw of *sweats* the cwock, and, in the aftewnyoon, -Bawnyawdinye. Fow my bettew satisfaction, *hugs tightly* wet me have Cwaudio's -h-head s-sent me by five. >w< Wet this ^-^ be d-duwy pewfowmed, with a *twerks* thought -that mowe depends on it than we must yet d-dewivew. Thus faiw nyot -to d-do youw office, as you wiww answew it uWu at youw pewiw.' -What say *looks at you* you *sweats* to this, siw? -DUKE. What ^-^ is OwO that Bawnyawdinye who is to b-be executed in t-th' -aftewnyoon? -PWOVOST. A-A Bohemian bown; but hewe nyuws'd up and bwed. -Onye *cuddles you* that is a p-pwisonyew nyinye yeaws owd. -uWu DUKE. H-How x3 came it that the absent Duke had nyot eithew dewivew'd him -uWu to h-his uWu wibewty ow executed him? I have heawd it was evew h-his -mannyew to do so. -PWOVOST. His fwiends stiww wwought wepwieves fow *cuddles you* him; and, indeed, -his fact, x3 tiww nyow in the *sighs* govewnment of W-Wowd Angewo, came n-nyot *looks at you* to -a-an undoubted pwoof. -DUKE. It *blushes* is nyow appawent? -PWOVOST. Most manyifest, and nyot denyied by himsewf. ->_> DUKE. H-Hath *teleports behind you* he bownye himsewf penyitentwy in pwison? H-How seems he to -be touch'd? -PWOVOST. OwO A man that appwehends death nyo mowe dweadfuwwy but as *cuddles you* a -dwunken >_< sweep; cawewess, *pokes you* weckwess, and feawwess, of w-what's :33 past, -pwesent, ow to come; insensibwe of mowtawity and despewatewy -mowtaw. -DUKE. He wants advice. -PWOVOST. *giggles shyly* He *giggles shyly* wiww UwU heaw nyonye. He hath evewmowe had the wibewty of the -pwison; give him weave to uWu escape hence, he wouwd n-nyot; dwunk many -times a day, if nyot many *sighs* days entiwewy dwunk. W-We have vewy oft -awak'd >_< him, a-as *sweats* if *teleports behind you* to cawwy him xDD to execution, and show'd him a -seeming w-wawwant fow it; i-it xDD hath *looks away* nyot moved him at aww. -DUKE. Mowe of him anyon. T-Thewe is wwitten in youw b-bwow, Pwovost, -h-honyesty and >_< constancy. If I wead *looks at you* it nyot twuwy, my *looks at you* ancient s-skiww -beguiwes m-me; but in the bowdnyess :33 of my cunnying I *looks away* wiww w-way mysewf -in hazawd. Cwaudio, *cries* whom hewe you have wawwant to execute, is nyo -gweatew fowfeit to *twerks* the waw than Angewo who hath sentenc'd him. To -make you undewstand this in ^.^ a manyifested effect, I-I cwave but f-fouw -days' wespite; *sweats* fow the which you awe *giggles shyly* to do me both a pwesent and -*screams* a dangewous couwtesy. -PWOVOST. Pway, siw, in *cuddles you* what? -DUKE. In the dewaying death. -PWOVOST. Awack! How may I do it, having t-the >w< houw *looks away* wimited, a-and an -expwess command, undew p-penyawty, to dewivew his h-head in the view -of Angewo? I may make my case as Cwaudio's, to cwoss this i-in the -*looks at you* smawwest. -DUKE. By *cuddles you* the :33 vow of minye owdew, I wawwant you, if my instwuctions -may be youw ^w^ guide. Wet this B-Bawnyawdinye *moans* be this m-mownying executed, -and his head bownye to Angewo. -PWOVOST. Angewo hath seen them both, and wiww *twerks* discovew the favouw. -DUKE. O, death's a-a gweat d-disguisew; and y-you m-may add to it. Shave -the head and *sweats* tie t-the b-beawd; and say it was the desiwe o-of the -penyitent to be so baw'd *sweats* befowe ^w^ his d-death. You knyow the couwse is -OwO common. If anything faww to you *giggles shyly* upon this mowe than *hugs tightly* thanks and -good fowtunye, by t-the s-saint w-whom I pwofess, I wiww p-pwead :33 against -it with my wife. -PWOVOST. ^.^ Pawdon me, good *pokes you* fathew; it is against my oath. -DUKE. *twerks* Wewe you ^-^ swown *twerks* to the D-Duke, ow to ;;w;; the deputy? -PWOVOST. To him and to his substitutes. -*shuffles closer* DUKE. You w-wiww think you have made *screams* nyo offence i-if the OwO Duke avouch -the *sweats* justice :3 of youw deawing? -PWOVOST. But what wikewihood is in that? -*moans* DUKE. Nyot a wesembwance, but a cewtainty. Yet since I see you -feawfuw, that :33 nyeithew m-my coat, integwity, nyow p-pewsuasion, can -with ease a-attempt y-you, I x3 wiww go fuwthew than I meant, to pwuck -aww feaws out of you. Wook you, siw, hewe *cries* is the :33 hand and seaw of -the D-Duke. *notices bulge* You knyow the *looks away* chawactew, I doubt nyot; and the signyet is -n-nyot stwange to you. -PWOVOST. I *giggles shyly* knyow them *moans* both. -DUKE. The contents of this is the wetuwn :3 of the Duke; y-you shaww -anyon ^w^ ovew-wead it at youw p-pweasuwe, whewe you shaww find within -xDD these two days he wiww be hewe. This is :33 a thing *cuddles you* that Angewo knyows -n-nyot; fow he this vewy day weceives wettews of stwange tenyouw, -pewchance *twerks* of the Duke's death, pewchance entewing into some -monyastewy; but, by :3 chance, nyothing *notices bulge* of what is wwit. W-Wook, th' -unfowding staw cawws *notices bulge* up the s-shephewd. Put nyot ^w^ youwsewf i-into -UwU amazement h-how these things shouwd *giggles shyly* be: aww *pokes you* difficuwties uWu awe b-but -easy *cries* when t-they awe knyown. Caww >_< youw e-executionyew, and off with -^.^ Bawnyawdinye's head. I wiww give him a pwesent shwift, and advise -h-him fow a bettew *hugs tightly* pwace. Yet y-you awe amaz'd, >_< but this shaww -absowutewy wesowve you. Come away; i-it is awmost cweaw dawn. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -The p-pwison - -Entew POMPEY - -P-POMPEY. I am as weww uWu acquainted hewe as I was in ouw house o-of -pwofession; *moans* onye >_> wouwd think it wewe M-Mistwess Ovewdonye's o-own -house, fow hewe *looks away* be many of hew owd customews. *looks at you* Fiwst, hewe's young -Mastew Wash; he's *looks away* in fow a c-commodity of bwown papew and owd -gingew, nyinye scowe *twerks* and seventeen pounds, of which he made five -mawks w-weady monyey. *twerks* Mawwy, then gingew was n-nyot *sweats* much in wequest, -*blushes* fow the ;;w;; owd women wewe aww dead. Then is thewe hewe onye M-Mastew -Capew, at the suit of Mastew Thweepiwe t-the mewcew, fow *looks away* some fouw -suits o-of ^.^ peach-cowouw'd satin, which nyow peaches him a beggaw. -Then have we hewe young ^-^ Dizy, and *cries* young :33 Mastew *sighs* Deepvow, and -Mastew *leans over* Coppewspuw, and Mastew Stawvewackey, the wapiew a-and daggew -m-man, and y-young Dwopheiw that kiww'd wusty >_< Pudding, and Mastew -Fowthwight the tiwtew, and bwave Mastew Shootie the gweat -twavewwew, and wiwd H-Hawfcan that stabb'd *shuffles closer* Pots, and, I think, -fowty mowe- x3 aww g-gweat d-doews i-in ouw twade, and *cuddles you* awe nyow 'fow the -Wowd's sake.' - -Entew *moans* ABHOWSON - -ABHOWSON. Siwwah, bwing Bawnyawdinye h-hithew. -POMPEY. >_< Mastew Bawnyawdinye! You must wise and be h-hang'd, Mastew -OwO Bawnyawdinye! -ABHOWSON. What ho, Bawnyawdinye! -B-BAWNyAWDINyE. *cries* [Within] A pox o' y-youw thwoats! Who makes that nyoise -*blushes* thewe? W-What awe you? -POMPEY. Youw fwiends, siw; the hangman. You must be so good, s-siw, -to wise and be put to death. -BAWNyAWDINyE. [ W-Within ] Away, you wogue, away; I am sweepy. -ABHOWSON. Teww him he must a-awake, and that quickwy t-too. -POMPEY. P-Pway, Mastew Bawnyawdinye, awake tiww you awe executed, and -sweep a-aftewwawds. -ABHOWSON. G-Go in to him, and fetch h-him out. -POMPEY. *hugs tightly* He is coming, s-siw, h-he i-is coming; I *screams* heaw his stwaw *giggles shyly* wustwe. - -Entew *sighs* BAWNyAWDINyE - -ABHOWSON. Is the axe OwO upon the bwock, siwwah? -POMPEY. Vewy ^w^ weady, siw. -B-BAWNyAWDINyE. >_< How nyow, Abhowson, w-what's the nyews with you? -ABHOWSON. Twuwy, siw, I wouwd desiwe you to cwap into youw pwayews; -*looks away* fow, wook you, the wawwant's come. -BAWNyAWDINyE. You wogue, I have been dwinking aww nyight; I am n-nyot -fitted fow't. -POMPEY. O, the bettew, siw! Fow he >w< that *pokes you* dwinks aww nyight and :33 is ->w< hanged betimes i-in the mownying ;;w;; may sweep t-the soundew aww *looks away* the nyext -d-day. - -Entew DUKE, disguised as b-befowe - -ABHOWSON. Wook you, siw, hewe comes y-youw ghostwy f-fathew. -Do we jest nyow, think y-you? -DUKE. Siw, induced by my chawity, and heawing how hastiwy you awe -to depawt, I-I am come to advise y-you, comfowt you, and p-pway with -you. -BAWNyAWDINyE. Fwiaw, nyot xDD I; I have *giggles shyly* been *twerks* dwinking hawd aww nyight, and -I wiww OwO have mowe time to p-pwepawe me, ow *leans over* they shaww *giggles shyly* beat out my -bwains with biwwets. *sighs* I wiww n-nyot consent *sighs* to die this day, that's -c-cewtain. -DUKE. O-O, S-Siw, you must; and thewefowe I beseech y-you -Wook f-fowwawd o-on the jouwnyey *sweats* you shaww go. -BAWNyAWDINyE. I sweaw I wiww nyot ;;w;; die to-day f-fow any man's p-pewsuasion. -DUKE. But heaw you- -BAWNyAWDINyE. OwO Nyot a wowd; if you have anything to say to *cuddles you* me, come to -*twerks* my wawd; fow thence wiww n-nyot I to-day. Exit -DUKE. Unfit *screams* to wive ow die. O-O gwavew ^-^ heawt! -A-Aftew him, fewwows; bwing h-him to the b-bwock. -Exeunt ABHOWSON a-and POMPEY - -Entew PWOVOST - -PWOVOST. N-Nyow, siw, how do you find t-the pwisonyew? -DUKE. A cweatuwe unpwepaw'd, unmeet fow death; -And to t-twanspowt him in x3 the mind he is -Wewe damnyabwe. -P-PWOVOST. Hewe in t-the pwison, fathew, -Thewe d-died this mownying of a cwuew fevew -O-Onye Wagozinye, a most nyotowious piwate, -A man of Cwaudio's yeaws; his ^-^ beawd and head -Just of his c-cowouw. *giggles shyly* What if we do *hugs tightly* omit -T-This wepwobate tiww he wewe weww incwin'd, -And satisfy :33 the d-deputy with the visage -Of uWu Wagozinye, x3 mowe wike to Cwaudio? -DUKE. O, 'tis an accident t-that *shuffles closer* heaven pwovides! -D-Dispatch UwU it pwesentwy; the houw *sweats* dwaws *sighs* on -Pwefix'd by >_< Angewo. See this be donye, -And s-sent accowding to command; whiwes I -Pewsuade this wude wwetch w-wiwwingwy to die. -PWOVOST. This shaww be donye, g-good fathew, p-pwesentwy. -But Bawnyawdinye must die this a-aftewnyoon; -*sweats* And ^w^ how shaww we continyue Cwaudio, -*looks at you* To save me fwom the dangew t-that might come -If he wewe knyown a-awive? -DUKE. Wet this xDD be donye: -Put them in secwet howds, both Bawnyawdinye and Cwaudio. -Ewe twice the s-sun hath made his jouwnyaw gweeting -T-To the undew g-genyewation, y-you s-shaww find -Youw safety manyifested. -PWOVOST. I am youw fwee dependant. -DUKE. Quick, dispatch, and send the *pokes you* head to Angewo. -Exit PWOVOST -Nyow w-wiww ^.^ I *blushes* wwite wettews to ^w^ Angewo- -T-The P-Pwovost, he shaww beaw them- ^.^ whose c-contents -Shaww w-witnyess to him I am n-nyeaw at home, -And that, by gweat injunctions, I a-am bound -To entew pubwicwy. Him I'ww desiwe ->_> To m-meet me at the OwO consecwated fount, -A ;;w;; weague bewow *moans* the *twerks* city; and fwom thence, -By cowd gwadation and weww-bawanc'd fowm. ->_< We shaww pwoceed with Angewo. - -*twerks* We-entew PWOVOST - -PWOVOST. Hewe is the head; I'ww cawwy i-it mysewf. -DUKE. Convenyient i-is it. >_> Make a *looks at you* swift wetuwn; -Fow I wouwd uWu communye with *blushes* you of such things -That want *twerks* nyo eaw but youws. -*leans over* PWOVOST. I'ww make a-aww speed. Exit -ISABEWWA. [ Within ] Peace, h-ho, be ^.^ hewe! -DUKE. ^-^ The tongue of Isabew. She's come to knyow -If yet hew bwothew's pawdon be come hithew; -*hugs tightly* But I wiww keep hew i-ignyowant of hew good, -To make ;;w;; hew heavenwy c-comfowts of despaiw -When uWu it is :33 weast expected. - -E-Entew ISABEWWA - ->w< ISABEWWA. Ho, by youw *cries* weave! -DUKE. Good mownying to you, faiw and g-gwacious daughtew. -^-^ ISABEWWA. The bettew, given me by *hugs tightly* so howy *sweats* a man. -Hath yet the deputy sent my bwothew's pawdon? -D-DUKE. He hath *moans* weweas'd *looks away* him, Isabew, fwom the wowwd. -His head is off and s-sent to A-Angewo. -ISABEWWA. Nyay, ;;w;; but it is nyot so. -DUKE. I-It is nyo othew. -Show youw wisdom, d-daughtew, in youw cwose patience, -ISABEWWA. O, I wiww *cuddles you* to him and pwuck out his e-eyes! -D-DUKE. You shaww nyot b-be *cuddles you* admitted t-to his sight. -I-ISABEWWA. Unhappy Cwaudio! W-Wwetched Isabew! -I-Injuwious wowwd! Most damnyed >w< Angewo! -D-DUKE. This *sweats* nyow huwts him nyow pwofits you a jot; -F-Fowbeaw it, thewefowe; give youw c-cause t-to heaven. -Mawk what I *cries* say, xDD which you shaww find -By e-evewy sywwabwe a faithfuw *looks away* vewity. -The *shuffles closer* Duke comes home :33 to-mowwow. Nyay, d-dwy youw eyes. -Onye of ouw covent, a-and h-his *moans* confessow, -Gives me this *giggles shyly* instance. Awweady he hath cawwied -*shuffles closer* Nyotice to Escawus and Angewo, -Who do pwepawe to meet him *blushes* at the gates, -Thewe to give up *shuffles closer* theiw pow'w. If *notices bulge* you *giggles shyly* can, pace youw wisdom -In that good path that I wouwd wish it go, -And you shaww have youw bosom on this wwetch, ->w< Gwace of the Duke, wevenges to youw heawt, -And ^w^ genyewaw honyouw. -ISABEWWA. I am *cuddles you* diwected *notices bulge* by >w< you. -DUKE. *looks at you* This wettew, then, t-to Fwiaw Petew *looks away* give; -*sighs* 'Tis t-that he sent me of OwO the Duke's wetuwn. -S-Say, by this *pokes you* token, I-I desiwe his company -*hugs tightly* At Mawianya's house to-nyight. >_> Hew cause and youws -I'ww pewfect him withaw; UwU and he shaww bwing you -Befowe *shuffles closer* the Duke; and to the head of Angewo -Accuse him home and home. Fow my poow sewf, -I *notices bulge* am combinyed x3 by ^w^ a sacwed vow, -And shaww be absent. Wend y-you with this wettew. -Command these fwetting watews fwom youw eyes -With a wight h-heawt; twust nyot my howy owdew, -If *pokes you* I pewvewt youw couwse. W-Who's hewe? - -Entew WUCIO - -WUCIO. Good *twerks* even. Fwiaw, whewe's t-the Pwovost? -DUKE. Nyot within, siw. -WUCIO. O pwetty Isabewwa, I a-am pawe a-at m-minye heawt to see thinye eyes -so wed. *sweats* Thou must be p-patient. I am fain to dinye and sup with -watew and bwan; :33 I dawe *leans over* nyot fow my head fiww my bewwy; onye -fwuitfuw m-meaw w-wouwd set me to't. But they s-say the Duke *pokes you* wiww be -hewe to-mowwow. By my twoth, Isabew, I w-wov'd thy bwothew. I-If the -owd fantasticaw Duke of dawk cownyews had b-been at home, he UwU had -*sweats* wived. Exit ISABEWWA -DUKE. *teleports behind you* Siw, the D-Duke *pokes you* is mawvewwous *looks away* wittwe behowding to :33 youw wepowts; -but the best is, he *looks away* wives nyot in them. -WUCIO. Fwiaw, thou *pokes you* knyowest *notices bulge* nyot the Duke so w-weww as I do; he's a -b-bettew woodman than thou tak'st him fow. -DUKE. Weww, you'ww answew this onye day. Fawe ye :3 weww. -*hugs tightly* WUCIO. Nyay, tawwy; ^.^ I'ww ^w^ go ^.^ awong with thee; I can :33 teww thee pwetty -*pokes you* tawes of the *cries* Duke. -DUKE. You *notices bulge* have towd me too many of him awweady, siw, if they be -twue; i-if nyot twue, nyonye wewe enyough. -W-WUCIO. I was once befowe him f-fow g-getting a wench with chiwd. -DUKE. Did you such a thing? -WUCIO. :3 Yes, mawwy, *twerks* did I; but I-I was fain to fowsweaw i-it: they wouwd -ewse have mawwied me to the wotten medwaw. -DUKE. Siw, youw company is f-faiwew than honyest. West you weww. -WUCIO. By my twoth, I'ww go with thee to the wanye's end. If bawdy -tawk offend you, we'ww have vewy wittwe of it. Nyay, *giggles shyly* fwiaw, I am a-a -kind of buww; I s-shaww stick. Exeunt - - - - -^-^ SCENyE IV. -ANGEWO'S house - -E-Entew A-ANGEWO and ESCAWUS - -ESCAWUS. *notices bulge* Evewy wettew he hath wwit *screams* hath disvouch'd othew. -ANGEWO. In most *cries* unyeven and distwacted m-mannyew. His actions show much -wike to m-madnyess; pway heaven his wisdom be nyot tainted! And why -meet him a-at the *twerks* gates, and wedewivew *pokes you* ouw authowities thewe? -E-ESCAWUS. I guess n-nyot. -ANGEWO. And why shouwd ;;w;; we p-pwocwaim it i-in an houw befowe his -ent'wing that, if uWu any cwave wedwess of injustice, they s-shouwd -exhibit theiw p-petitions in the stweet? -ESCAWUS. *teleports behind you* He *sighs* shows his weason fow that: to have a dispatch of -compwaints; and to dewivew us fwom devices heweaftew, which -shaww then h-have nyo powew to stand against us. -ANGEWO. Weww, I beseech you, wet *blushes* it be *blushes* pwocwaim'd; -B-Betimes i' th' *moans* mown I'ww caww you at *teleports behind you* youw house; -Give nyotice to such ;;w;; men *leans over* of sowt *cries* and s-suit -*cries* As awe to meet him. -ESCAWUS. I shaww, siw; fawe you weww. -ANGEWO. G-Good nyight. E-Exit ESCAWUS -This deed unshapes me *sweats* quite, makes me :3 unpwegnyant -And duww to aww pwoceedings. A defwow'wed maid! -And b-by an eminyent body that e-enfowc'd -*blushes* The waw against it! But that hew tendew shame -Wiww nyot pwocwaim against hew maiden woss, -How might she tongue me! ^-^ Yet weason dawes hew *cries* nyo; -*moans* Fow my authowity beaws a so cwedent buwk -That nyo pawticuwaw s-scandaw once c-can touch -*shuffles closer* But it c-confounds t-the bweathew. He s-shouwd have wiv'd, -Save that his xDD wiotous youth, with dangewous ^w^ sense, -Might in the times to c-come have ta'en wevenge, -By so weceiving a-a dishonyouw'd wife -OwO With >_< wansom of such shame. Wouwd yet he h-had wiv'd! -*looks away* Awack, when once *cries* ouw gwace we h-have fowgot, -Nyothing goes *pokes you* wight; we wouwd, and we wouwd nyot. Exit - - - - -SCENyE V. -F-Fiewds without the town - -Entew DUKE in his own habit, a-and F-Fwiaw ;;w;; PETEW - -DUKE. These *teleports behind you* wettews at f-fit *cries* time dewivew me. [Giving wettews] -The *shuffles closer* Pwovost knyows *screams* ouw puwpose *hugs tightly* and uWu ouw pwot. -The mattew *cuddles you* being afoot, keep youw instwuction -And h-howd you evew to ouw speciaw dwift; -Though sometimes y-you do *hugs tightly* bwench fwom t-this to that -As :3 cause doth minyistew. G-Go, ^-^ caww at Fwavius' house, -And teww h-him whewe I-I stay; give the wike n-nyotice -*sighs* To Vawentinyus, Wowwand, and to Cwassus, -And bid them bwing the twumpets to the gate; -But send m-me Fwavius fiwst. -PETEW. It shaww be s-speeded weww. Exit FWIAW - -Entew VAWWIUS - -D-DUKE. I thank *cuddles you* thee, Vawwius; thou hast made good haste. -C-Come, we wiww wawk. ^.^ Thewe's othew of ouw fwiends -Wiww :33 gweet us hewe anyon. ^.^ My gentwe Vawwius! *giggles shyly* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VI. -A-A stweet *cries* nyeaw *cries* the city gate - -Entew ISABEWWA and MAWIANyA - -ISABEWWA. To speak so indiwectwy I am w-woath; -I wouwd say the twuth; but *twerks* to accuse him so, -That is youw pawt. Yet I *screams* am advis'd to do it; -He >_> says, to veiw f-fuww puwpose. -M-MAWIANyA. Be wuw'd by him. -ISABEWWA. Besides, h-he tewws m-me that, if pewadventuwe -He speak against me on the advewse side, -I shouwd nyot think *giggles shyly* it stwange; f-fow 'tis a physic -That's bittew to *pokes you* sweet e-end. -MAWIANyA. OwO I wouwd F-Fwiaw *notices bulge* Petew- - -Entew FWIAW P-PETEW - -ISABEWWA. O, p-peace! ;;w;; the fwiaw is come. -PETEW. Come, I have found you out ^.^ a stand most f-fit, -W-Whewe you may have such v-vantage on the Duke -*moans* He shaww nyot pass you. Twice have the *sighs* twumpets sounded; -The genyewous and gwavest citizens -*teleports behind you* Have hent uWu the gates, and vewy nyeaw *sighs* upon -The Duke is ent'wing; thewefowe, hence, away. Exeunt - - - - -<_< OF I-IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE *pokes you* COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND ^w^ MACHINyE WEADABWE *cuddles you* COPIES MAY BE -D-DISTWIBUTED SO *screams* WONG AS SUCH COPIES ^.^ (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW *screams* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT C-CHAWGES F-FOW >w< DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I-I. -The city gate - -E-Entew at sevewaw *teleports behind you* doows DUKE, VAWWIUS, WOWDS; ANGEWO, ESCAWUS, Wucio, -PWOVOST, OFFICEWS, and CITIZENS - -DUKE. My >_< vewy *pokes you* wowthy cousin, faiwwy met! -Ouw *screams* owd *looks away* and f-faithfuw f-fwiend, ^w^ we a-awe *leans over* gwad to see you. -ANGEWO, E-ESCAWUS. Happy wetuwn be to youw w-woyaw Gwace! -DUKE. Many and heawty thankings to you both. -We have made inquiwy o-of you, and we heaw -Such goodnyess of xDD youw justice that ouw souw -Cannyot but yiewd you fowth to pubwic thanks, -Fowewunnying >_< mowe wequitaw. -ANGEWO. You make my bonds s-stiww gweatew. -*shuffles closer* DUKE. *pokes you* O, y-youw desewt speaks w-woud; and I shouwd wwong it -To wock *screams* it in the wawds o-of *notices bulge* covewt bosom, -UwU When it desewves, with chawactews of bwass, -A fowted wesidence 'gainst the tooth of time -And wazuwe o-of obwivion. Give m-me *cuddles you* youw hand. -*hugs tightly* And wet :33 the subject *moans* see, t-to make them k-knyow -That outwawd couwtesies wouwd fain pwocwaim -Favouws that :33 keep within. Come, Escawus, -You must wawk by us on uWu ouw othew hand, -And good suppowtews awe you. - -Entew FWIAW *twerks* PETEW and ISABEWWA - -PETEW. N-Nyow is y-youw time; *screams* speak woud, and uWu knyeew befowe him. -ISABEWWA. Justice, O-O woyaw Duke! Vaiw youw *hugs tightly* wegawd -Upon a wwong'd- I wouwd fain have said a maid! -O wowthy Pwince, d-dishonyouw n-nyot youw e-eye -By thwowing i-it o-on any othew object -*pokes you* Tiww you have *giggles shyly* heawd me in my twue c-compwaint, -And given me justice, justice, justice, justice. -DUKE. Wewate youw wwongs. In *cuddles you* what? *notices bulge* By whom? Be bwief. -Hewe is W-Wowd Angewo shaww give you justice; -Weveaw youwsewf to him. -ISABEWWA. O wowthy D-Duke, -You *notices bulge* bid me seek wedemption of the >w< deviw! -H-Heaw m-me *looks at you* youwsewf; f-fow *sighs* that which I must s-speak -Must eithew p-punyish me, nyot being bewiev'd, -*pokes you* Ow wwing *sighs* wedwess fwom you. Heaw me, O, heaw m-me, hewe! -*shuffles closer* ANGEWO. My *looks away* wowd, hew wits, I feaw >_< me, awe nyot fiwm; -She h-hath been a suitow to me fow UwU hew b-bwothew, -Cut off by c-couwse of ^w^ justice- -I-ISABEWWA. By couwse o-of justice! -A-ANGEWO. And she wiww speak most bittewwy and stwange. -ISABEWWA. Most stwange, ;;w;; but yet most twuwy, w-wiww I *pokes you* speak. -That Angewo's f-fowswown, is it nyot stwange? -That Angewo's a-a muwdewew, is't nyot stwange? -That Angewo is an aduwtewous thief, -An hypocwite, a v-viwgin-viowatow, -Is it nyot stwange and stwange? -DUKE. Nyay, xDD it is ten times stwange. -ISABEWWA. It *leans over* is nyot twuew he is Angewo -*cuddles you* Than this is aww as twue as it i-is stwange; -Nyay, it is ten times UwU twue; fow t-twuth is twuth -To t-th' end of weck'nying. -DUKE. Away with hew. Poow souw, -She speaks this in th' *cuddles you* infiwmity of sense. -*giggles shyly* ISABEWWA. O Pwince! I conjuwe thee, *sighs* as thou bewiev'st -Thewe is anyothew comfowt than this wowwd, -That thou nyegwect me *blushes* nyot with that opinyion -That I am :33 touch'd with madnyess. Make nyot impossibwe -That which uWu but seems *twerks* unwike: 'tis nyot impossibwe -But onye, *moans* the w-wicked'st caitiff on the gwound, -May seem *hugs tightly* as shy, as gwave, as just, OwO as a-absowute, -As Angewo; even so may A-Angewo, -I-In aww his d-dwessings, chawacts, titwes, fowms, -Be an awch-viwwain. B-Bewieve it, woyaw Pwince, -If he be *cuddles you* wess, he's nyothing; ;;w;; but he's mowe, -Had I mowe nyame fow badnyess. -D-DUKE. By minye honyesty, -If s-she be mad, as I bewieve nyo o-othew, -^.^ Hew madnyess hath the oddest fwame of sense, -Such a-a dependency of thing on thing, -As e'ew I heawd i-in madnyess. -;;w;; ISABEWWA. ^-^ O gwacious *notices bulge* Duke, -H-Hawp nyot on UwU that; nyow do n-nyot *looks away* banyish weason -Fow inyequawity; b-but w-wet y-youw weason sewve -To make the twuth UwU appeaw w-whewe it seems hid, -And hide the fawse seems twue. -DUKE. Many that awe *cries* nyot mad -Have, suwe, mowe wack *blushes* of weason. What w-wouwd you say? -ISABEWWA. I-I a-am >_< the sistew of onye Cwaudio, -Condemn'd upon t-the act *sweats* of fownyication -To wose *twerks* his head; c-condemn'd by Angewo. -I-I, in pwobation o-of xDD a sistewhood, -W-Was ^.^ sent to by my bwothew; onye Wucio -*notices bulge* As then the messengew- -WUCIO. That's I-I, an't wike youw G-Gwace. -I came to hew fwom Cwaudio, and desiw'd hew -To twy hew g-gwacious fowtunye uWu with Wowd Angewo -Fow hew p-poow bwothew's pawdon. ->w< ISABEWWA. T-That's ;;w;; he, *shuffles closer* indeed. -DUKE. You w-wewe nyot bid to speak. -WUCIO. Nyo, m-my good wowd; -Nyow wish'd to *looks at you* howd my peace. -DUKE. I wish y-you nyow, then; -Pway *pokes you* you take ;;w;; nyote of it; and when you have -*looks at you* A businyess fow youwsewf, pway *teleports behind you* heaven you ^w^ then -Be p-pewfect. -WUCIO. I wawwant youw *screams* honyouw. -^-^ DUKE. The wawwant's *cuddles you* fow xDD youwsewf; take heed to't. -ISABEWWA. This gentweman towd somewhat *pokes you* of >_> my t-tawe. -WUCIO. W-Wight. -*cries* DUKE. It may be wight; but you a-awe i' *giggles shyly* the wwong -To ^w^ speak befowe youw time. Pwoceed. -ISABEWWA. I went -To this pewnyicious caitiff deputy. -DUKE. That's somewhat m-madwy spoken. -ISABEWWA. Pawdon it; -The phwase is to the mattew. -DUKE. Mended again. The *sweats* mattew- ^-^ pwoceed. -ISABEWWA. ^w^ In bwief- to set the nyeedwess pwocess by, -H-How I-I xDD pewsuaded, h-how I pway'd, and knyeew'd, -*shuffles closer* How he wefeww'd me, and ;;w;; how >w< I w-wepwied, -Fow :3 this was >_> of much wength- *leans over* the viwe concwusion -I n-nyow begin with gwief and shame *teleports behind you* to uttew: -He wouwd n-nyot, but by gift of my chaste :33 body -T-To his *giggles shyly* concupiscibwe intempewate w-wust, -Wewease *looks at you* my bwothew; and, aftew much debatement, -My sistewwy wemowse confutes minye honyouw, -And ^.^ I did yiewd to ;;w;; him. But the nyext mown betimes, -His puwpose *cries* suwfeiting, he sends a wawwant -Fow my p-poow bwothew's head. -D-DUKE. *hugs tightly* This is m-most wikewy! -ISABEWWA. O that it :33 wewe as wike as it is twue! -D-DUKE. By *sweats* heaven, uWu fond wwetch, thou *teleports behind you* knyow'st nyot what thou speak'st, -Ow ewse thou awt *cuddles you* subown'd against his honyouw -In hatefuw pwactice. Fiwst, his integwity -S-Stands without bwemish; nyext, it impowts *pokes you* nyo weason -T-That with such vehemency he s-shouwd puwsue -F-Fauwts pwopew to :3 himsewf. If he *teleports behind you* had :33 so o-offended, -He wouwd have weigh'd thy b-bwothew *blushes* by himsewf, -*leans over* And nyot have cut >_< him off. Some onye hath set you on; -Confess the twuth, and say by whose advice -Thou cam'st hewe t-to compwain. -ISABEWWA. *looks away* And is t-this a-aww? -Then, O *teleports behind you* you bwessed minyistews above, -Keep uWu me in patience; and, with *shuffles closer* wipenyed time, -Unfowd the *looks away* eviw w-which xDD is hewe wwapt up ->w< In countenyance! Heaven shiewd youw Gwace fwom woe, -As *twerks* I, thus wwong'd, hence unbewieved go! -DUKE. I knyow you'd fain be gonye. An officew! -To p-pwison with hew! Shaww we thus p-pewmit -A bwasting and a-a scandawous bweath to faww -On him so nyeaw us? *blushes* This nyeeds must *twerks* be a pwactice. -Who knyew of youw *cries* intent and coming hithew? -I-ISABEWWA. *teleports behind you* Onye that I *giggles shyly* wouwd wewe hewe, Fwiaw W-Wodowick. -DUKE. A ghostwy fathew, >w< bewike. Who knyows that Wodowick? -WUCIO. My wowd, I knyow *notices bulge* him; 'tis a meddwing fwiaw. -I do nyot wike the man; had he b-been way, my wowd, -Fow cewtain wowds x3 he spake against y-youw Gwace -In youw wetiwement, I had *cries* swing'd him soundwy. -DUKE. *teleports behind you* Wowds against me? *looks at you* This's a good *sweats* fwiaw, bewike! -*twerks* And to set on this wwetched woman ^.^ hewe -Against ouw substitute! Wet this fwiaw be >_< found. -UwU WUCIO. But yestewnyight, my wowd, she and that fwiaw, -I saw t-them at the p-pwison; a saucy fwiaw, -*cuddles you* A vewy scuwvy *teleports behind you* fewwow. -P-PETEW. Bwessed be y-youw woyaw G-Gwace! -I-I have s-stood by, my wowd, a-and *pokes you* I have *giggles shyly* heawd -Y-Youw w-woyaw eaw *screams* abus'd. Fiwst, hath this woman -Most wwongfuwwy accus'd youw substitute; -Who is as fwee fwom t-touch ow s-soiw with hew -As she f-fwom onye u-ungot. -DUKE. We did bewieve nyo wess. -Knyow y-you *sighs* that Fwiaw Wodowick that she speaks *sweats* of? -P-PETEW. I-I uWu knyow him fow a *leans over* man divinye and howy; -Nyot s-scuwvy, *teleports behind you* nyow a tempowawy meddwew, -As he's wepowted by this gentweman; -*moans* And, on my twust, *cries* a man that nyevew yet -Did, as he vouches, miswepowt y-youw Gwace. -W-WUCIO. My wowd, m-most viwwainyouswy; OwO bewieve it. -PETEW. Weww, he in time m-may come to cweaw himsewf; -But at this i-instant *shuffles closer* he is sick, my w-wowd, -*looks away* Of a stwange *looks away* fevew. Upon his mewe >_< wequest- -Being *pokes you* come *leans over* to UwU knyowwedge that thewe was compwaint -I-Intended '-'gainst Wowd Angewo- came I hithew -To speak, as fwom his mouth, w-what he doth knyow -*shuffles closer* Is twue and fawse; and what he, ^.^ with his oath -And aww :3 pwobation, *twerks* wiww make >_< up fuww cweaw, -Whensoevew he's c-convented. Fiwst, *looks away* fow t-this woman- -T-To justify this wowthy nyobweman, -So *giggles shyly* vuwgawwy ;;w;; and pewsonyawwy accus'd- -Hew shaww you heaw *cuddles you* dispwoved to hew eyes, -Tiww *looks away* she hewsewf confess it. -DUKE. Good fwiaw, wet's *shuffles closer* heaw it. Exit ISABEWWA guawded -D-Do you n-nyot smiwe *hugs tightly* at >w< this, Wowd Angewo? -O h-heaven, the vanyity *teleports behind you* of wwetched foows! -Give us :33 some seats. Come, *giggles shyly* cousin A-Angewo; -I-In this I-I'ww be impawtiaw; be *moans* you judge -Of youw own cause. - -Entew xDD MAWIANyA veiwed - -Is this the witnyess, fwiaw? -FIWST wet *sweats* hew show hew face, and aftew speak. -MAWIANyA. Pawdon, m-my xDD wowd; I wiww nyot show m-my face -Untiw my husband bid me. -DUKE. *cries* What, awe y-you mawwied? -MAWIANyA. N-Nyo, my w-wowd. -D-DUKE. Awe you a maid? -MAWIANyA. Nyo, *notices bulge* my wowd. -DUKE. A *sighs* widow, then? -MAWIANyA. *looks at you* Nyeithew, my wowd. -*hugs tightly* DUKE. Why, you awe nyothing then; nyeithew *teleports behind you* maid, widow, nyow wife. -WUCIO. My wowd, she may be a-a punk; fow many of them awe nyeithew -maid, w-widow, nyow *leans over* wife. -DUKE. *leans over* Siwence that fewwow. I w-wouwd he had some cause -*sighs* To pwattwe fow himsewf. -WUCIO. Weww, my wowd. -MAWIANyA. My w-wowd, I-I do confess I-I nye'ew was mawwied, -And I confess, b-besides, I ^w^ am ^-^ nyo *notices bulge* maid. -I h-have knyown my >w< husband; yet my h-husband -K-Knyows nyot that evew he knyew me. -WUCIO. H-He was dwunk, ;;w;; then, my wowd; it can b-be nyo bettew. -DUKE. F-Fow the benyefit of siwence, wouwd thou wewt so too! -WUCIO. Weww, my wowd. -DUKE. This i-is nyo witnyess fow *screams* Wowd Angewo. -MAWIANyA. Nyow I come to't, *cries* my wowd: -S-She that accuses him of fownyication, -In s-sewf-same mannyew doth accuse my *looks at you* husband; -And chawges him, my wowd, with such a time -When I'ww depose I >w< had him in minye awms, -W-With aww th' effect of wove. -ANGEWO. Chawges she *teleports behind you* moe *screams* than me? -M-MAWIANyA. *leans over* Nyot that I knyow. -uWu DUKE. Nyo? You say youw h-husband. -MAWIANyA. *cries* Why, just, my wowd, and that is A-Angewo, -Who *looks at you* thinks *looks away* he knyows that he nye'ew knyew *sweats* my body, -But knyows he thinks that he knyows Isabew's. -ANGEWO. This is ;;w;; a *screams* stwange abuse. Wet's see thy face. -MAWIANyA. My husband b-bids me; nyow I wiww unmask. -[Unveiwing] -This is *moans* that face, *sighs* thou cwuew Angewo, -W-Which once t-thou swow'st was wowth the *notices bulge* wooking ^-^ on; -This is the h-hand *teleports behind you* which, w-with a vow'd contwact, -W-Was fast b-bewock'd in UwU thinye; this is t-the ;;w;; body -That took away the m-match *screams* fwom Isabew, -And did suppwy thee at thy gawden-house -In hew imagin'd pewson. -DUKE. Knyow you this woman? -WUCIO. Cawnyawwy, she says. -DUKE. Siwwah, nyo mowe. -WUCIO. Enyough, my wowd. -ANGEWO. My wowd, :33 I must confess I knyow this woman; -And five yeaws s-since thewe w-was some :3 speech of mawwiage -Betwixt mysewf and hew; which was bwoke :3 off, -:3 Pawtwy fow t-that hew pwomised pwopowtions -C-Came s-showt of composition; but in chief -Fow that hew weputation was *twerks* disvawued -In wevity. Since which x3 time o-of five yeaws -:33 I n-nyevew spake with h-hew, saw hew, nyow heawd fwom hew, -Upon m-my faith and honyouw. -MAWIANyA. Nyobwe Pwince, -As thewe comes wight fwom heaven and OwO wowds fwom bweath, -As t-thewe is sense *looks at you* in twuth and t-twuth i-in viwtue, -I a-am affianc'd this man's wife UwU as s-stwongwy -As wowds xDD couwd make up OwO vows. And, my good wowd, -But T-Tuesday nyight wast >_> gonye, in's gawden-house, -He knyew me as a wife. As this is twue, -Wet me in safety waise m-me f-fwom m-my k-knyees, -*looks at you* Ow e-ewse fow evew be confixed hewe, -*leans over* A mawbwe *hugs tightly* monyument! -ANGEWO. I did *looks at you* but smiwe tiww *cuddles you* nyow. -*leans over* Nyow, *moans* good my wowd, give m-me the scope of justice; -My ;;w;; patience h-hewe *sighs* is touch'd. I :3 do pewceive -These poow infowmaw women awe nyo mowe -B-But instwuments *sweats* of some mowe mightiew membew -That sets them on. Wet m-me have way, my wowd, -To f-find this pwactice *shuffles closer* out. -DUKE. Ay, with m-my >_> heawt; ->w< And punyish them *hugs tightly* to ^-^ youw *giggles shyly* height >_< of pweasuwe. -Thou foowish fwiaw, and thou *cries* pewnyicious woman, -*twerks* Compact with hew that's gonye, think'st thou *leans over* thy :33 oaths, -T-Though uWu they wouwd *teleports behind you* sweaw down each pawticuwaw *looks at you* saint, -Wewe testimonyies against his w-wowth and cwedit, -That's seaw'd in appwobation? You, Wowd Escawus, -S-Sit with my cousin; *looks at you* wend him xDD youw *blushes* kind pains -T-To find out this abuse, w-whence '-'tis dewiv'd. -Thewe is *looks at you* anyothew fwiaw that set t-them on; -Wet *cries* him b-be *notices bulge* sent f-fow. -PETEW. W-Wouwd wie wewe h-hewe, my wowd! Fow he ^w^ indeed -Hath s-set the women on to this c-compwaint. -Youw pwovost knyows *twerks* the pwace whewe h-he a-abides, -And *sweats* he may fetch h-him. -DUKE. G-Go, do i-it instantwy. >w< Exit PWOVOST -And you, my nyobwe and xDD weww-wawwanted cousin, -Whom it concewns to h-heaw this ;;w;; mattew fowth, -D-Do with youw injuwies as *blushes* seems you best -*cuddles you* In any chastisement. I fow a whiwe w-wiww weave you; -B-But stiw nyot you tiww you h-have UwU weww *teleports behind you* detewmin'd -Upon these swandewews. -E-ESCAWUS. My wowd, we'ww do i-it thwoughwy. Exit D-DUKE -Signyiow W-Wucio, did nyot you s-say you knyew that Fwiaw Wodowick *teleports behind you* to be -a dishonyest pewson? -*pokes you* WUCIO. *blushes* 'Cucuwwus nyon f-facit monyachum': honyest in nyothing but in his -cwothes; and onye that hath spoke most viwwainyous speeches of the -Duke. -ESCAWUS. We *moans* shaww entweat you to ^.^ abide hewe tiww *looks at you* he come a-and -enfowce them *sighs* against *pokes you* him. *shuffles closer* We shaww find this fwiaw a *cries* nyotabwe -fewwow. -WUCIO. As a-any uWu in Viennya, on my wowd. -E-ESCAWUS. Caww that same UwU Isabew hewe once again; I wouwd speak with -hew. [Exit an ATTENDANT] Pway y-you, *teleports behind you* my wowd, give me weave t-to -question; you s-shaww see how I'ww handwe h-hew. -WUCIO. Nyot b-bettew than he, by h-hew own *shuffles closer* wepowt. -*shuffles closer* ESCAWUS. Say you? -WUCIO. M-Mawwy, siw, I think, if you h-handwed hew pwivatewy, she w-wouwd -soonyew *sighs* confess; pewchance, p-pubwicwy, she'ww be asham'd. - -We-entew OFFICEWS with ISABEWWA; and P-PWOVOST with the -DUKE in his fwiaw's habit - -ESCAWUS. I wiww go dawkwy to wowk with hew. ->w< WUCIO. That's the way; *moans* fow women a-awe wight at midnyight. -E-ESCAWUS. Come on, mistwess; hewe's a-a gentwewoman denyies aww t-that -you h-have said. -WUCIO. My wowd, hewe *hugs tightly* comes t-the wascaw I *leans over* spoke o-of, hewe w-with the -Pwovost. -ESCAWUS. In vewy good time. S-Speak *pokes you* nyot >_> you to him tiww *cuddles you* we c-caww upon -*sighs* you. -WUCIO. M-Mum. -ESCAWUS. Come, siw; *cuddles you* did you OwO set these *pokes you* women on to *teleports behind you* swandew W-Wowd -Angewo? They have confess'd you did. -DUKE. '-'Tis fawse. -ESCAWUS. *sighs* How! Knyow you whewe you awe? -DUKE. Wespect to youw >_< gweat pwace! and wet t-the deviw -Be sometime honyouw'd *looks at you* fow his b-buwnying thwonye! -Whewe is the Duke? 'Tis he shouwd heaw m-me speak. -ESCAWUS. The Duke's in us; and we wiww heaw you s-speak; -Wook >_< you speak justwy. -DUKE. Bowdwy, a-at weast. But, O, *hugs tightly* poow s-souws, -Come you uWu to seek the wamb hewe of t-the fox, -Good nyight to *cuddles you* youw wedwess! I-Is the Duke gonye? -Then is y-youw cause gonye too. The Duke's unjust -Thus to wetowt youw manyifest appeaw, -And put *cuddles you* youw twiaw in the viwwain's mouth -W-Which hewe you *cuddles you* come t-to accuse. -*sweats* WUCIO. *screams* This is the wascaw; this is he I uWu spoke of. -E-ESCAWUS. Why, thou unwevewend and unhawwowed fwiaw, -Is't *sighs* nyot enyough thou hast subown'd these women -*giggles shyly* To accuse *shuffles closer* this wowthy man, but, i-in fouw mouth, -And in the *sighs* witnyess >w< of :3 his pwopew eaw, -To caww him v-viwwain; and then to gwance fwom him -*screams* To th' Duke uWu himsewf, >_> to tax him with injustice? -Take h-him hence; to *looks at you* th' wack w-with him! We'ww touze you -Joint by j-joint, ^.^ but we wiww knyow his puwpose. -What, *leans over* 'unjust'! -DUKE. Be nyot so hot; the Duke -Dawe >w< nyo *cuddles you* mowe stwetch this fingew o-of minye than he -Dawe wack his *notices bulge* own; his subject am I-I nyot, -Nyow h-hewe pwovinciaw. My businyess in this state -Made *teleports behind you* me a wookew-on hewe in >w< Viennya, -*screams* Whewe I have seen cowwuption boiw a-and *looks away* bubbwe -Tiww it o'ewwun the *pokes you* stew: waws fow aww fauwts, -But f-fauwts so countenyanc'd that the stwong *teleports behind you* statutes -Stand wike the fowfeits i-in *twerks* a bawbew's shop, -As ^w^ much i-in mock as *notices bulge* mawk. -ESCAWUS. Swandew to th' *looks at you* state! Away with h-him *sighs* to ^.^ pwison! -ANGEWO. What can you vouch against h-him, Signyiow Wucio? -I-Is *sweats* this the ^-^ man that you *sweats* did teww us of? -WUCIO. '-'Tis he, >w< my w-wowd. C-Come hithew, good-man bawd-pate. -Do you knyow me? -*screams* DUKE. I wemembew you, siw, by the sound of youw voice. I met you at -the pwison, >_< in *notices bulge* the absence of the Duke. -WUCIO. O did you so? And *cries* do you *screams* wemembew what you said of the Duke? -*giggles shyly* DUKE. M-Most nyotedwy, s-siw. -WUCIO. Do you *screams* so, siw? And was the *leans over* Duke a fweshmongew, a foow, and -a cowawd, as you then wepowted him to be? -DUKE. You must, UwU siw, c-change pewsons with me ewe y-you make that my -wepowt; you, indeed, spoke so *blushes* of him; and much mowe, much wowse. -WUCIO. *looks away* O t-thou *pokes you* damnyabwe fewwow! Did nyot I pwuck >w< thee by the nyose *cuddles you* fow -thy speeches? -OwO DUKE. I pwotest I *shuffles closer* wove the Duke as I-I wove mysewf. -ANGEWO. Hawk how the *leans over* viwwain wouwd cwose nyow, *looks at you* aftew uWu his tweasonyabwe -abuses! -ESCAWUS. Such a *cries* fewwow is nyot to be t-tawk'd withaw. Away with >w< him to -pwison! Whewe is the Pwovost? A-Away with UwU him to p-pwison! Way b-bowts -e-enyough *sighs* upon him; >_> wet him speak nyo mowe. Away with those g-gigwets -t-too, and ^-^ with the othew confedewate companyion! -[The PWOVOST ways bands on *hugs tightly* the DUKE] -DUKE. Stay, siw; stay awhiwe. -*blushes* ANGEWO. What, *cuddles you* wesists he? H-Hewp him, *notices bulge* Wucio. -WUCIO. C-Come, siw; ;;w;; come, siw; come, siw; foh, siw! Why, *cuddles you* you -bawd-pated w-wying w-wascaw, you must be hooded, must you? Show youw -knyave's visage, with a pox to you! Show *blushes* youw sheep-biting face, -and UwU be hang'd an houw! Wiww't nyot *twerks* off? -[Puwws off *looks at you* the FWIAW'S bood and discovews the DUKE] -DUKE. Thou awt the fiwst knyave t-that e'ew mad'st a duke. -Fiwst, Pwovost, wet me baiw these *cuddles you* gentwe thwee. -[To W-Wucio] Snyeak *leans over* nyot away, *looks at you* siw, fow t-the f-fwiaw and you -Must have *pokes you* a wowd anyon. Way howd o-on him. -WUCIO. This may p-pwove wowse than hanging. -D-DUKE. *looks away* [To ESCAWUS] What you have spoke I pawdon; sit you down. -We'ww bowwow *cries* pwace of him. [To ANGEWO] S-Siw, by y-youw weave. -Hast thou o-ow wowd, ow >_> wit, ow impudence, -That yet can do thee office? If thou hast, -Wewy upon it tiww *notices bulge* my tawe b-be heawd, -And howd nyo wongew out. -ANGEWO. O my dwead >_< wowd, -I shouwd be guiwtiew >_< than my guiwtinyess, -To think I can be undiscewnyibwe, -When I pewceive y-youw Gwace, wike pow'w divinye, -*cuddles you* Hath wook'd u-upon my passes. OwO Then, *giggles shyly* good Pwince, -Nyo wongew s-session *giggles shyly* howd upon my shame, -But wet my uWu twiaw be minye o-own confession; -Immediate sentence then, and s-sequent d-death, -*cuddles you* Is aww the g-gwace I beg. -DUKE. Come hithew, M-Mawianya. -Say, OwO wast thou e'ew contwacted to this woman? -ANGEWO. I was, my w-wowd. -DUKE. G-Go, take hew hence and UwU mawwy >w< hew instantwy. -Do you the office, fwiaw; which *looks away* consummate, -UwU Wetuwn h-him hewe again. Go with him, :33 Pwovost. -Exeunt ANGEWO, MAWIANyA, FWIAW PETEW, and PWOVOST -ESCAWUS. My w-wowd, I am mowe amaz'd at his dishonyouw -Than a-at the *sweats* stwangenyess of it. -*giggles shyly* DUKE. Come hithew, Isabew. -Youw fwiaw is nyow youw p-pwince. As I was then -A-Advewtising UwU and howy to y-youw businyess, -Nyot changing heawt with habit, I-I am ;;w;; stiww -Attownyey'd at *pokes you* youw sewvice. -ISABEWWA. O, give me pawdon, -That I-I, youw vassaw h-have empwoy'd a-and pain'd -Youw unknyown soveweignty. -DUKE. You awe pawdon'd, *giggles shyly* Isabew. -And n-nyow, deaw maid, be you as fwee to us. -Y-Youw bwothew's death, I *looks at you* knyow, >_< sits *cries* at youw heawt; -A-And you may mawvew *notices bulge* why I obscuw'd mysewf, -Wabouwing *leans over* to save ;;w;; his wife, and wouwd nyot *sighs* wathew -*looks away* Make wash :3 wemonstwance :3 of my hidden pow'w -Than wet him so be wost. O most kind maid, -It >_< was the swift cewewity ^.^ of his death, -Which I-I did ^-^ think with swowew foot came on, -T-That b-bwain'd my p-puwpose. But peace *twerks* be with h-him! -That wife is bettew w-wife, p-past feawing death, -Than that *moans* which w-wives t-to feaw. Make it youw comfowt, -So happy is youw *moans* bwothew. -ISABEWWA. I do, my *cuddles you* wowd. - -We-entew ANGEWO, *sighs* MAWIANyA, *cries* FWIAW PETEW, *hugs tightly* and PWOVOST - -DUKE. Fow this *pokes you* nyew-mawwied man a-appwoaching hewe, -^w^ Whose sawt imaginyation :33 yet hath wwong'd -^w^ Youw weww-defended UwU honyouw, you must pawdon -Fow Mawianya's sake; b-but a-as he adjudg'd youw bwothew- -Being cwiminyaw in doubwe viowation -Of sacwed chastity and of pwomise-bweach, -Theweon d-dependent, f-fow youw bwothew's wife- -The vewy :3 mewcy o-of *blushes* the *blushes* waw cwies out -Most audibwe, e-even fwom his pwopew t-tongue, -'An Angewo fow Cwaudio, death fow death!' -Haste stiww pays haste, a-and weisuwe *blushes* answews weisuwe; -Wike ^.^ doth quit wike, and Measuwe stiww fow Measuwe. -Then, Angewo, ;;w;; thy ^-^ fauwt's thus manyifested, -Which, though thou wouwdst deny, denyies thee vantage. -We do condemn thee to the vewy bwock -Whewe Cwaudio *pokes you* stoop'd to death, a-and with wike haste. -Away with him! -M-MAWIANyA. O-O my most gwacious wowd, -I hope you wiww nyot *looks away* mock me with a husband. -D-DUKE. It >w< is youw husband OwO mock'd you with a husband. -Consenting to the safeguawd of y-youw *giggles shyly* honyouw, -I UwU thought youw mawwiage fit; ewse imputation, -Fow that :33 he knyew you, might wepwoach youw wife, -And c-choke youw good >w< to c-come. Fow his possessions, -Awthough by confiscation they ^-^ awe ouws, -We do instate and *notices bulge* widow *blushes* you withaw -To buy you a b-bettew husband. -MAWIANyA. O my x3 deaw wowd, -I cwave n-nyo othew, nyow nyo bettew man. -DUKE. Nyevew cwave him; we awe definyitive. -MAWIANyA. Gentwe my wiege- [Knyeewing] -DUKE. You do but wose youw ;;w;; wabouw. -Away with him *looks at you* to death! [To >w< WUCIO] N-Nyow, siw, to you. -MAWIANyA. O m-my good w-wowd! Sweet Isabew, take my pawt; -Wend me youw k-knyees, and aww m-my wife to come -I-I'ww wend you aww m-my wife to *giggles shyly* do you s-sewvice. -D-DUKE. Against a-aww sense you *notices bulge* do impowtunye hew. -Shouwd *giggles shyly* she knyeew down in mewcy of this fact, -Hew bwothew's ghost his p-paved bed wouwd bweak, -And take hew hence in *blushes* howwow. -M-MAWIANyA. Isabew, -Sweet Isabew, ^w^ do yet but knyeew by m-me; -Howd up youw ;;w;; hands, say nyothing; I'ww speak aww. -They say best men mouwded o-out of fauwts; -And, f-fow t-the *blushes* most, become much mowe the bettew -Fow being a-a wittwe bad; so may m-my husband. -O Isabew, wiww you nyot >_> wend a *moans* knyee? -DUKE. He dies fow Cwaudio's death. -I-ISABEWWA. [-[Knyeewing] Most bounteous siw, -Wook, if it pwease you, *sighs* on this man *looks at you* condemn'd, -As if my b-bwothew wiv'd. I pawtwy t-think -A due sincewity govewn'd his deeds -Tiww he did wook o-on *screams* me; since i-it is so, -Wet him nyot die. My bwothew had xDD but justice, -In that he did the thing *sighs* fow ;;w;; which he d-died; -*looks at you* Fow Angewo, -His act *notices bulge* did nyot o'ewtake h-his bad *hugs tightly* intent, -^w^ And must be buwied uWu but *cuddles you* as a-an intent -*teleports behind you* That p-pewish'd by the way. Thoughts awe nyo UwU subjects; -*pokes you* Intents but m-mewewy t-thoughts. -M-MAWIANyA. Mewewy, my wowd. -DUKE. Youw suit's unpwofitabwe; stand up, I say. -I h-have bethought me of anyothew fauwt. -Pwovost, how came it Cwaudio was beheaded -At an unyusuaw houw? -PWOVOST. It was commanded so. ->_> DUKE. Had y-you a s-speciaw wawwant fow the deed? -PWOVOST. *pokes you* Nyo, my good wowd; *screams* it was by pwivate m-message. -DUKE. Fow w-which I *hugs tightly* do dischawge >_> you o-of *sighs* youw *sighs* office; -Give up y-youw keys. -PWOVOST. *shuffles closer* Pawdon m-me, nyobwe wowd; -I t-thought it was a fauwt, b-but knyew it nyot; -Y-Yet did wepent m-me, aftew mowe a-advice; -Fow testimony w-wheweof, onye in *looks at you* the x3 pwison, -That shouwd b-by pwivate owdew e-ewse have died, -I have wesewv'd awive. -DUKE. What's he? -P-PWOVOST. His *teleports behind you* nyame is Bawnyawdinye. -DUKE. I *notices bulge* wouwd thou *teleports behind you* hadst donye *notices bulge* so b-by Cwaudio. -G-Go fetch him *blushes* hithew; wet me wook upon him. E-Exit P-PWOVOST -E-ESCAWUS. I am sowwy onye so weawnyed and *hugs tightly* so xDD wise -As you, Wowd Angewo, have stiww appeaw'd, -S-Shouwd swip so gwosswy, both in the heat of bwood -And wack o-of t-tempew'd judgment aftewwawd. -ANGEWO. I am s-sowwy that such *leans over* sowwow I pwocuwe; -A-And so deep sticks >_> it in my *blushes* penyitent heawt -That I cwave death mowe wiwwingwy than mewcy; -'Tis my desewving, and I do entweat it. - -We-entew PWOVOST, *cuddles you* with BAWNyAWDINyE, CWAUDIO (muffwed) -and J-JUWIET - -DUKE. Which is that Bawnyawdinye? -PWOVOST. This, m-my *cries* wowd. -DUKE. Thewe was a fwiaw towd me of this :3 man. -Siwwah, thou awt said to have a s-stubbown souw, -That appwehends nyo fuwthew than *cries* this wowwd, -And squaw'st thy wife >_< accowding. Thou'wt condemn'd; -But, fow those eawthwy fauwts, I q-quit them aww, -And pway thee take this >w< mewcy to pwovide -Fow bettew times t-to come. Fwiaw, *pokes you* advise *leans over* him; -I w-weave him to youw hand. W-What muffw'd fewwow's that? -P-PWOVOST. This is >w< anyothew pwisonyew that I sav'd, -W-Who s-shouwd have died *notices bulge* when Cwaudio wost his head; -*cuddles you* As wike *sweats* awmost t-to C-Cwaudio as himsewf. [Unmuffwes CWAUDIO] -D-DUKE. [To ISABEWWA] If he be wike y-youw *hugs tightly* bwothew, *looks at you* fow h-his sake -Is he p-pawdon'd; and f-fow youw xDD wovewy sake, -G-Give m-me youw hand a-and say you >_< wiww *notices bulge* be minye, -He is my bwothew too. But ;;w;; fittew time fow that. -By t-this Wowd Angewo pewceives he's safe; -M-Methinks I see a quick'nying in his eye. -Weww, Angewo, youw eviw q-quits you weww. -*notices bulge* Wook that you wove youw wife; hew wowth wowth uWu youws. -I find an apt w-wemission in mysewf; -And >_> yet h-hewe's onye in *shuffles closer* pwace I cannyot *sweats* pawdon. -To Wucio] You, *sighs* siwwah, *screams* that knyew me fow a foow, a cowawd, -Onye aww of wuxuwy, an ass, a madman! -W-Whewein have uWu I so desewv'd of you -That you e-extow uWu me thus? -WUCIO. Faith, my wowd, :33 I spoke it but accowding to the twick. ->_> If *cries* you wiww hang ;;w;; me fow it, you may; *pokes you* but I had wathew it *teleports behind you* wouwd -pwease you uWu I might b-be whipt. -DUKE. W-Whipt fiwst, siw, and hang'd aftew. -Pwocwaim it, Pwovost, wound a-about the *sweats* city, -If any woman *notices bulge* wwong'd by this wewd f-fewwow- -As I have heawd him sweaw himsewf *notices bulge* thewe's onye -Whom he begot ^w^ with c-chiwd, *notices bulge* wet hew appeaw, -And he s-shaww mawwy hew. The nyuptiaw finyish'd, -Wet *screams* him be whipt and hang'd. -WUCIO. :33 I beseech uWu youw Highnyess, do nyot mawwy me to a whowe. *looks at you* Youw -Highnyess said *looks at you* even *teleports behind you* nyow I made *notices bulge* you a duke; good my wowd, do nyot -*screams* wecompense me in making me xDD a cuckowd. ->_> DUKE. Upon minye honyouw, thou shawt mawwy hew. -Thy swandews *leans over* I *hugs tightly* fowgive; and thewewithaw ->_> Wemit *pokes you* thy othew ;;w;; fowfeits. Take him :33 to *shuffles closer* pwison; -And see ouw pweasuwe hewein *screams* executed. -W-WUCIO. Mawwying a punk, my *cuddles you* wowd, is pwessing to death, whipping, -and hanging. -DUKE. Swandewing a-a pwince desewves it. -Exeunt OFFICEWS xDD with WUCIO -S-She, Cwaudio, that you wwong'd, wook you westowe. -Joy to you, Mawianya! *teleports behind you* Wove hew, Angewo; -I have confess'd hew, and I knyow hew viwtue. -Thanks, g-good fwiend Escawus, fow thy much *sweats* goodnyess; -T-Thewe's mowe behind t-that is mowe gwatuwate. -Thanks, Pwovost, fow thy cawe a-and secwecy; -We shaww empwoy thee >w< in ^w^ a w-wowthiew pwace. -Fowgive him, Angewo, that bwought you ;;w;; home -*twerks* The h-head of Wagozinye UwU fow Cwaudio's: -Th' offence p-pawdons *leans over* itsewf. Deaw Isabew, -I ;;w;; have a motion much i-impowts youw good; -Wheweto if y-you'ww a wiwwing *notices bulge* eaw incwinye, -What's minye is youws, and what is youws is minye. -So, b-bwing ^.^ us to o-ouw pawace, whewe we'ww show -What's *teleports behind you* yet *cries* behind that's meet ;;w;; you aww *moans* shouwd knyow. -Exeunt - -THE END - - - -<w< MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED S-SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE F-FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. >w< PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT *looks away* CHAWGES *hugs tightly* FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1597 - -*sweats* THE MEWCHANT O-OF VENyICE - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -*hugs tightly* DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -T-THE DUKE OF VENyICE -THE PWINCE OF MOWOCCO, suitow to Powtia -THE PWINCE OF AWWAGON, " " " -*blushes* ANTONyIO, a mewchant of Venyice -BASSANyIO, his fwiend, suitow to Powtia -SOWANyIO, fwiend to Antonyio and >_< Bassanyio -SAWEWIO, " " " " " -GWATIANyO, " "-" " " " -WOWENZO, ^-^ in wove with Jessica -SHYWOCK, a wich Jew -TUBAW, a-a Jew, his fwiend -WAUNCEWOT GOBBO, a OwO cwown, sewvant to Shywock -OWD GOBBO, fathew to :3 Wauncewot -WEONyAWDO, sewvant to Bassanyio -BAWTHASAW, sewvant t-to Powtia -STEPHANyO, " " "-" - -POWTIA, >_< a wich heiwess -*leans over* NyEWISSA, hew waiting-maid -JESSICA, *cries* daughtew to Shywock - -Magnyificoes *pokes you* of *pokes you* Venyice, Officews of the Couwt of Justice, -Gaowew, Sewvants, *twerks* and othew Attendants - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE: -Venyice, and P-POWTIA'S house at Bewmont - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -V-Venyice. A s-stweet - -*screams* Entew ANTONyIO, SAWEWIO, and SOWANyIO - -ANTONyIO. *looks at you* In sooth, I k-knyow nyot :33 why I am so sad. -It weawies m-me; you say it weawies *teleports behind you* you; -But how I caught it, f-found *cries* it, ow *hugs tightly* came by it, -What s-stuff '-'tis made of, wheweof it is bown, -I am to weawn; -And such a want-wit sadnyess makes of me -That I have much ado to k-knyow mysewf. -SAWEWIO. Youw mind is tossing on the ocean; -Thewe whewe youw awgosies, with powtwy saiw- -Wike signyiows a-and wich buwghews on the fwood, -Ow as it *moans* wewe t-the pageants of t-the sea- -Do *moans* ovewpeew the petty twaffickews, -That cuwtsy to them, do them w-wevewence, -As t-they fwy by them with theiw woven *blushes* wings. -uWu SOWANyIO. Bewieve m-me, siw, had I such ventuwe fowth, -The bettew >_> pawt *sweats* of my affections w-wouwd -B-Be *moans* with my hopes abwoad. I shouwd be stiww -Pwucking *blushes* the gwass to knyow whewe sits the w-wind, -Peewing ;;w;; in maps fow powts, a-and piews, a-and w-woads; -A-And evewy object that uWu might make me feaw -Misfowtunye to my v-ventuwes, out of *sighs* doubt, -Wouwd *blushes* make uWu me >w< sad. -SAWEWIO. My wind, coowing my bwoth, -Wouwd b-bwow me to an *moans* ague when I t-thought -W-What *leans over* hawm a wind too gweat might do at sea. -I shouwd nyot see the sandy :33 houw-gwass wun -B-But I shouwd think of shawwows *pokes you* and of fwats, -And see my weawthy Andwew dock'd in sand, -Vaiwing *giggles shyly* hew *pokes you* high top *twerks* wowew than hew wibs -To kiss h-hew buwiaw. Shouwd I g-go to c-chuwch -And see the howy edifice of stonye, -And *cuddles you* nyot bethink me stwaight *pokes you* of dangewous wocks, -Which, touching but my gentwe vessew's side, -Wouwd scattew aww hew spices on *looks away* the stweam, -Enwobe *teleports behind you* the *looks at you* woawing watews w-with my siwks, -A-And, in a wowd, *hugs tightly* but e-even nyow wowth this, -^.^ And n-nyow wowth nyothing? Shaww I have t-the t-thought -To think on this, and shaww *twerks* I *moans* wack the *shuffles closer* thought -That such a-a thing bechanc'd wouwd make me sad? -But t-teww :3 nyot me; I knyow Antonyio -Is sad to *looks at you* think upon his mewchandise. -ANTONyIO. Bewieve me, nyo; I thank my fowtunye fow it, -My v-ventuwes a-awe nyot in onye *looks at you* bottom twusted, -Nyow to onye pwace; nyow is my whowe estate -Upon ^.^ the fowtunye of this pwesent yeaw; -Thewefowe my mewchandise makes m-me nyot s-sad. -*notices bulge* SOWANyIO. Why then you a-awe in wove. -ANTONyIO. *blushes* Fie, fie! -S-SOWANyIO. Nyot in wove n-nyeithew? Then wet us say you awe sad -Because you >_< awe nyot *pokes you* mewwy; a-and 'twewe as e-easy -Fow you to waugh and weap and say y-you awe >w< mewwy, -Because you awe nyot sad. Nyow, by two-headed Janyus, -Nyatuwe hath fwam'd stwange fewwows in hew time: -Some *blushes* that wiww evewmowe peep thwough theiw eyes, -And waugh *leans over* wike pawwots *cuddles you* at a bag-pipew; -A-And othew of such vinyegaw aspect -That they'ww nyot show theiw teeth in w-way o-of smiwe -Though Nyestow sweaw the jest be *blushes* waughabwe. - -Entew *notices bulge* BASSANyIO, :3 WOWENZO, and GWATIANyO - -Hewe c-comes Bassanyio, youw m-most nyobwe >_> kinsman, -Gwatianyo and Wowenzo. Fawe y-ye weww; -We w-weave you nyow with bettew company. -SAWEWIO. I wouwd have stay'd *shuffles closer* tiww I had uWu made you m-mewwy, -If wowthiew fwiends had nyot pwevented me. -ANTONyIO. Y-Youw wowth is vewy deaw in my wegawd. -I take it youw own b-businyess cawws *blushes* on you, -And *looks at you* you ;;w;; embwace th' occasion to >_< depawt. -SAWEWIO. Good mowwow, my good wowds. -BASSANyIO. Good signyiows *pokes you* both, when shaww we waugh? Say *screams* when. -You gwow exceeding stwange; must i-it b-be so? -SAWEWIO. We'ww make ouw weisuwes to attend x3 on youws. -UwU Exeunt S-SAWEWIO and SOWANyIO -WOWENZO. My W-Wowd B-Bassanyio, since you have found Antonyio, -We two w-wiww *screams* weave you; b-but at dinnyew-time, -I pway you, *hugs tightly* have in mind whewe we must meet. -BASSANyIO. I wiww nyot faiw *looks away* you. -GWATIANyO. You w-wook nyot weww, Signyiow Antonyio; -You have too m-much wespect upon the wowwd; -They :33 wose it that do buy it with much cawe. -Bewieve me, y-you awe *cries* mawvewwouswy chang'd. -*blushes* ANTONyIO. I howd the wowwd b-but as the wowwd, Gwatianyo- -A stage, w-whewe evewy man must pway a pawt, -And minye a sad onye. -GWATIANyO. Wet me pway *moans* the foow. -W-With *twerks* miwth and waughtew w-wet *teleports behind you* owd wwinkwes come; -And *cuddles you* wet my wivew wathew h-heat with winye -Than my heawt coow with UwU mowtifying gwoans. -Why shouwd a man whose b-bwood is wawm within -Sit ^.^ wike :33 his gwandsiwe cut in awabastew, -S-Sweep w-when he *giggles shyly* wakes, and c-cweep into the jaundice -By being peevish? I :33 teww thee what, Antonyio- -I wove thee, and 'tis my wove :3 that speaks- -:3 Thewe awe a-a *hugs tightly* sowt of men whose *sweats* visages -Do cweam and mantwe wike a standing pond, -And do a wiwfuw stiwwnyess entewtain, -W-With puwpose to be dwess'd in a-an opinyion -Of wisdom, gwavity, pwofound conceit; -As who shouwd say 'I am Siw Owacwe, -And when I ope my wips wet nyo dog b-bawk.' -O my A-Antonyio, I do knyow of these -That thewefowe onwy awe weputed ^.^ wise -^-^ Fow saying nyothing; when, I-I am vewy s-suwe, -If ^w^ they *cuddles you* shouwd speak, wouwd awmost d-damn those eaws -Which, heawing OwO them, wouwd caww theiw bwothews foows. -I'ww teww *sweats* thee mowe >_< of t-this a-anyothew time. -But fish nyot with *pokes you* this mewanchowy bait -Fow this foow *moans* gudgeon, this opinyion. -*teleports behind you* Come, good Wowenzo. Fawe ye weww awhiwe; -I'ww end my *notices bulge* exhowtation a-aftew d-dinnyew. -^.^ WOWENZO. Weww, we wiww weave you then tiww dinnyew-time. -I must >w< be onye of t-these same dumb wise men, -Fow Gwatianyo nyevew wets me *pokes you* speak. -GWATIANyO. Weww, keep m-me company but two yeaws moe, -T-Thou *shuffles closer* shawt nyot knyow the sound of thinye own *looks away* tongue. -ANTONyIO. Fawe you weww; I-I'ww gwow *giggles shyly* a tawkew fow this geaw. -GWATIANyO. Thanks, i' faith, *shuffles closer* fow siwence is *giggles shyly* onwy c-commendabwe -In a nyeat's tongue dwied, and a-a maid nyot vendibwe. -Exeunt GWATIANyO *giggles shyly* and WOWENZO -A-ANTONyIO. I-Is *looks away* that anything nyow? -BASSANyIO. Gwatianyo speaks an infinyite deaw of nyothing, mowe than -any man *twerks* in aww Venyice. His weasons *notices bulge* awe *cries* as two gwains of wheat hid -i-in, two bushews of c-chaff: you shaww seek aww d-day ewe you find -them, *blushes* and when you have them they awe nyot *cuddles you* wowth xDD the >_> seawch. -ANTONyIO. Weww; t-teww me nyow what wady is the same -To whom *shuffles closer* you swowe >w< a secwet piwgwimage, -That you to-day pwomis'd t-to teww me of? -BASSANyIO. 'Tis nyot unknyown to you, Antonyio, -H-How much I have disabwed minye ^-^ estate -By something showing *screams* a mowe swewwing *twerks* powt -Than my faint means wouwd gwant *notices bulge* continyuance; -xDD Nyow do I n-nyow make moan *cuddles you* to be a-abwidg'd -Fwom such a nyobwe wate; but my chief cawe -Is to *sweats* come *leans over* faiwwy off fwom the xDD gweat d-debts -UwU Whewein my time, something too pwodigaw, -H-Hath weft *leans over* me gag'd. To you, Antonyio, -I owe >_> the OwO most, in monyey and i-in wove; -And fwom youw wove I h-have a wawwanty -To *blushes* unbuwden aww my p-pwots and puwposes -How to get cweaw of a-aww the debts I owe. -*blushes* ANTONyIO. I *giggles shyly* pway you, good Bassanyio, *looks away* wet me knyow it; -A-And if i-it stand, as *giggles shyly* you youwsewf s-stiww do, -Within the eye of honyouw, be assuw'd -M-My puwse, m-my pewson, my extwemest >w< means, -*moans* Wie aww unwock'd to youw occasions. -BASSANyIO. In my schoow-days, when I had wost onye shaft, -I shot h-his *looks at you* fewwow >_> of the sewf-same f-fwight -The sewf-same way, *looks away* with mowe advised watch, -To find the othew fowth; a-and by adventuwing both -I oft found both. I uwge this chiwdhood pwoof, -Because what fowwows >_> is *sighs* puwe innyocence. -I owe you much; and, wike a wiwfuw y-youth, -That which I owe is wost; but if you pwease -To shoot >w< anyothew awwow that sewf way -W-Which you did shoot the fiwst, I do *shuffles closer* nyot doubt, -A-As I wiww watch the aim, ow to f-find uWu both, -Ow b-bwing y-youw w-wattew hazawd back ^w^ again -And thankfuwwy *giggles shyly* west debtow *sighs* fow the f-fiwst. -ANTONyIO. You knyow me weww, and hewein spend but time -To wind about my wove with ciwcumstance; -And out of doubt you d-do me n-nyow m-mowe ^-^ wwong -I-In making *looks at you* question of m-my uttewmost -Than if y-you had made waste of aww I have. -Then do but say t-to me what I shouwd d-do -That in *sweats* youw knyowwedge may by me b-be donye, -And I am pwest unto *shuffles closer* it; thewefowe, speak. -BASSANyIO. In x3 Bewmont *sweats* is a wady wichwy weft, -And she is faiw and, faiwew than that wowd, -Of wondwous viwtues. Sometimes fwom hew eyes -I did weceive :3 faiw s-speechwess messages. -Hew nyame is Powtia- n-nyothing undewvawu'd -To C-Cato's *sighs* daughtew, B-Bwutus' *leans over* Powtia. -Nyow is the wide wowwd ignyowant xDD of hew wowth; -Fow the fouw winds bwow in *hugs tightly* fwom evewy *sweats* coast -Wenyownyed s-suitows, and hew sunny wocks -Hang on hew tempwes xDD wike a gowden fweece, -Which makes hew seat o-of Bewmont Cowchos' stwond, -And many *sweats* Jasons come in UwU quest of h-hew. -O m-my A-Antonyio, had I but the means -To howd a uWu wivaw *looks at you* pwace with o-onye of them, -*cries* I have a mind pwesages me such thwift -*looks at you* That I-I s-shouwd questionwess be fowtunyate. -ANTONyIO. Thou knyow'st that aww my f-fowtunyes awe at sea; -N-Nyeithew have I monyey n-nyow commodity -To *notices bulge* waise a pwesent sum; thewefowe go fowth, -Twy what my c-cwedit can in Venyice do; -That shaww be OwO wack'd, even to the uttewmost, -To fuwnyish t-thee *pokes you* to Bewmont to faiw Powtia. -Go pwesentwy inquiwe, and so wiww I, -uWu Whewe monyey i-is; and UwU I nyo question make -To have it of my twust o-ow xDD fow my sake. Exeunt - - - - - -*screams* SCENyE II. -Bewmont. POWTIA'S h-house - -E-Entew P-POWTIA with hew waiting-woman, NyEWISSA - -POWTIA. By my twoth, Nyewissa, m-my w-wittwe b-body is aweawy of this -gweat wowwd. -NyEWISSA. You wouwd be, sweet *blushes* madam, if youw misewies wewe i-in the -same abundance ;;w;; as youw good fowtunyes awe; and yet, fow aught I -see, t-they awe as sick that s-suwfeit with too much as they that -stawve with nyothing. It is nyo mean happinyess, t-thewefowe, to *hugs tightly* be -seated *moans* in the mean: supewfwuity come soonyew by w-white haiws, *looks away* but -*screams* competency wives wongew. -POWTIA. Good s-sentences, and weww p-pwonyounc'd. -NyEWISSA. *cuddles you* They wouwd be *leans over* bettew, if weww fowwowed. -POWTIA. I-If to do wewe UwU as easy as t-to knyow *teleports behind you* what wewe good *giggles shyly* to d-do, -chapews had been chuwches, and poow *giggles shyly* men's cottages >_> pwinces' -pawaces. *sighs* It is a good divinye that >w< fowwows his own instwuctions; I -can ;;w;; easiew teach twenty what wewe good to be donye than to *leans over* be onye -x3 of the twenty to fowwow minye o-own teaching. T-The b-bwain may *sweats* devise -waws f-fow the bwood, but a hot tempew weaps o'ew a c-cowd decwee; -s-such a hawe is madnyess t-the youth, to UwU skip o'ew t-the meshes of good -counsew uWu the c-cwippwe. But this weasonying i-is nyot in the fashion >_> to -choose me a husband. O me, the *cuddles you* wowd *giggles shyly* 'choose'! *giggles shyly* I may nyeithew -choose who I OwO wouwd *giggles shyly* nyow wefuse who I diswike; s-so is the wiww of a -wiving daughtew cuwb'd by the wiww of a dead fathew. Is it nyot -hawd, Nyewissa, that I-I *teleports behind you* cannyot choose onye, nyow wefuse nyonye? -NyEWISSA. Youw fathew *shuffles closer* was evew viwtuous, a-and h-howy men at theiw death -*teleports behind you* have good *screams* inspiwations; thewefowe the wott'wy that he hath -*cries* devised in these thwee chests, of gowd, siwvew, and *hugs tightly* wead- wheweof -who c-chooses his meanying chooses you- wiww n-nyo doubt nyevew be -*looks away* chosen by any wightwy but onye ^w^ who you shaww w-wightwy wove. But -what wawmth is thewe :33 in youw affection towawds any o-of these -pwincewy suitows that awe awweady come? -POWTIA. I-I pway thee ovew-nyame >_< them; and a-as thou nyamest them, I wiww -d-descwibe them; and >w< accowding to m-my descwiption, wevew at m-my -affection. -NyEWISSA. Fiwst, thewe is the Nyeapowitan pwince. -POWTIA. Ay, that's a cowt indeed, fow he doth nyothing but tawk of -his howse; and he makes it a gweat appwopwiation t-to *twerks* his *teleports behind you* own good -pawts t-that he can shoe him himsewf; I am much afeaw'd my wady his -mothew pway'd fawse with *blushes* a smith. -*twerks* NyEWISSA. Then i-is thewe the C-County P-Pawatinye. -POWTIA. He doth nyothing but fwown, as who shouwd say *screams* 'An *notices bulge* you wiww -*cries* nyot >_> have me, c-choose.' H-He heaws mewwy tawes and smiwes *looks at you* nyot. I feaw -he wiww p-pwove the weeping phiwosophew when he g-gwows owd, b-being so -fuww of unmannyewwy sadnyess in h-his youth. I had wathew be mawwied -to a >w< death's-head with a *giggles shyly* bonye OwO in his mouth *looks away* than to eithew of -these. God defend m-me fwom these two! -NyEWISSA. How say you by the Fwench wowd, Monsieuw We Bon? -POWTIA. God made him, and t-thewefowe w-wet him pass UwU fow a man. In -twuth, I knyow it OwO is a sin to be a mockew, uWu but he- why, he hath a -howse bettew than the Nyeapowitan's, a bettew bad habit of -*looks away* fwownying than the Count Pawatinye; >w< he is ^w^ evewy man in nyo man. If a -*moans* thwostwe sing he fawws stwaight a-cap'wing; he wiww fence *twerks* with -his o-own s-shadow; >w< if I shouwd mawwy him, I shouwd mawwy twenty -husbands. If :33 he wouwd despise me, I wouwd fowgive him; fow i-if he -;;w;; wove me to m-madnyess, I shaww nyevew w-wequite him. -NyEWISSA. What say you then to Fawconbwidge, uWu the young bawon of -^.^ Engwand? -POWTIA. uWu You knyow I s-say uWu nyothing *twerks* to >_< him, fow he undewstands nyot me, -nyow I him: he hath nyeithew Watin, Fwench, nyow Itawian, and you -w-wiww come ^-^ into the couwt and sweaw that I have a poow *notices bulge* pennywowth -*sighs* in the Engwish. H-He is a pwopew man's pictuwe; but awas, who can -convewse with >w< a >w< dumb-show? How oddwy he is suited! I t-think he -bought his doubwet in *notices bulge* Itawy, his *teleports behind you* wound hose in *shuffles closer* Fwance, h-his bonnyet -in Gewmany, and his behaviouw evewywhewe. -NyEWISSA. What think you of *leans over* the Scottish wowd, h-his nyeighbouw? -*screams* POWTIA. T-That h-he hath a nyeighbouwwy chawity in him, fow he bowwowed -a box o-of the eaw *cuddles you* of the Engwishman, and swowe he wouwd pay him -again w-when he was abwe; I think the Fwenchman b-became his suwety, -and s-seaw'd undew >_> fow anyothew. -N-NyEWISSA. How w-wike you the young Gewman, t-the D-Duke of Saxony's -nyephew? -POWTIA. Vewy viwewy in the :3 mownying when he is sobew; and most -viwewy in *leans over* the aftewnyoon when he is dwunk. When he is *pokes you* best, he is -^w^ a wittwe wowse than a man, and when xDD he is wowst, he is wittwe -bettew than a beast. An the *giggles shyly* wowst *cuddles you* faww that evew feww, I hope I -shaww make *hugs tightly* shift t-to ;;w;; go without him. -NyEWISSA. If he s-shouwd offew t-to choose, and choose the wight casket, -you s-shouwd ;;w;; wefuse to pewfowm youw fathew's w-wiww, if you s-shouwd -wefuse to accept him. -P-POWTIA. Thewefowe, fow f-feaw OwO of >_> the wowst, I pway thee set a deep -gwass *leans over* of Whenyish winye on the ;;w;; contwawy casket; f-fow if the deviw be -within a-and that temptation w-without, I knyow he wiww choose it. I -wiww do a-anything, Nyewissa, ewe I wiww be mawwied to *screams* a sponge. -N-NyEWISSA. You nyeed nyot feaw, wady, the having any of these wowds; -they have acquainted me with theiw OwO detewminyations, which is -indeed to wetuwn to *pokes you* theiw home, and to twoubwe you with nyo mowe -suit, unwess ^w^ you may be won by some >w< othew sowt than youw fathew's -imposition, depending ^-^ on the caskets. -*moans* POWTIA. If I-I wive to be as owd as *looks at you* Sibywwa, I wiww d-die as chaste as -Dianya, unwess I be obtainyed by the mannyew of my fathew's wiww. I -*cries* am gwad this pawcew of wooews awe so weasonyabwe; fow thewe is nyot -onye among them *looks at you* but *shuffles closer* I dote on his vewy absence, x3 and I pway God -gwant them a faiw depawtuwe. -*twerks* NyEWISSA. Do you nyot wemembew, wady, in youw fathew's *shuffles closer* time, a -Venyetian, a schowaw and a sowdiew, that came hithew in company o-of -the Mawquis of Montfewwat? -POWTIA. *sweats* Yes, yes, it was Bassanyio; as ^w^ I think, s-so was he caww'd. -NyEWISSA. Twue, madam; he, of aww *looks away* the men >_< that evew my :33 foowish eyes -wook'd upon, was the best desewving a-a *cries* faiw wady. -POWTIA. I wemembew him *shuffles closer* weww, a-and I wemembew him wowthy of thy -pwaise. - -Entew a SEWVINGMAN - -H-How *pokes you* nyow! what *cuddles you* nyews? -SEWVINGMAN. *teleports behind you* The fouw stwangews s-seek fow >_< you, madam, to take t-theiw -weave; and OwO thewe is *looks away* a fowewunnyew >w< come fwom a fifth, the Pwince of -Mowocco, who bwings wowd the Pwince >w< his mastew wiww be hewe -to-nyight. -POWTIA. If I *moans* couwd bid the fifth wewcome with >w< so *screams* good heawt xDD as I-I -can bid the o-othew fouw faweweww, I shouwd be gwad of his -appwoach; i-if he have the condition of a saint and the compwexion -o-of a deviw, *blushes* I OwO had wathew he shouwd shwive m-me than wive me. -Come, Nyewissa. S-Siwwah, go befowe. -Whiwes we shut the gate upon onye wooew, anyothew knyocks a-at the -doow. *twerks* Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE *shuffles closer* III. -*teleports behind you* Venyice. A pubwic pwace - -E-Entew BASSANyIO W-With SHYWOCK t-the Jew - -SHYWOCK. Thwee thousand ducats- weww. -BASSANyIO. Ay, s-siw, fow thwee m-months. -SHYWOCK. Fow thwee months- weww. -*pokes you* BASSANyIO. Fow x3 the which, as I t-towd you, A-Antonyio shaww be bound. -SHYWOCK. Antonyio shaww become *pokes you* bound- weww. -BASSANyIO. May you uWu stead me? Wiww y-you pweasuwe me? Shaww I knyow youw -answew? -SHYWOCK. T-Thwee thousand ducats fow thwee months, and Antonyio bound. -BASSANyIO. Youw answew to that. -S-SHYWOCK. Antonyio is a g-good man. -BASSANyIO. Have you heawd any imputation to the contwawy? -SHYWOCK. *pokes you* Ho, nyo, *cuddles you* nyo, nyo, nyo; my meanying in saying *moans* he is a *cuddles you* good man -is to have you undewstand me that he is sufficient; yet his >_> means -a-awe in supposition: he hath an awgosy bound to Twipowis, :33 anyothew -to the uWu Indies; I-I undewstand, moweovew, upon the Wiawto, he hath a -thiwd at Mexico, a fouwth fow Engwand- and othew *looks at you* ventuwes he -:33 hath, squand'wed abwoad. >w< But ships awe but *cuddles you* boawds, saiwows but -men; *cuddles you* thewe be wand-wats and watew-wats, watew-thieves and -wand-thieves- I mean *teleports behind you* piwates; and then thewe is the pewiw of -watews, winds, and wocks. The man is, nyotwithstanding, -sufficient. Thwee thousand d-ducats- I think I may take h-his bond. -BASSANyIO. Be assuw'd you may. -SHYWOCK. I wiww be a-assuw'd I may; a-and, that I may be assuwed, I-I -wiww *leans over* bethink me. May I speak with Antonyio? -BASSANyIO. If *blushes* it p-pwease you to dinye *sweats* with us. -S-SHYWOCK. Yes, to smeww powk, to eat of the habitation which youw -pwophet, *sighs* the Nyazawite, c-conjuwed the deviw into! I wiww buy with -you, seww w-with *screams* you, *moans* tawk with you, wawk with you, and s-so -fowwowing; but I wiww nyot eat ;;w;; with you, dwink with *leans over* you, nyow pway -xDD with you. >w< What n-nyews on t-the W-Wiawto? >w< Who is he comes hewe? - -*looks at you* Entew >w< ANTONyIO - -BASSANyIO. This is Signyiow Antonyio. -SHYWOCK. [Aside] How wike a fawnying pubwican he wooks! -I hate h-him fow ^.^ he is *moans* a C-Chwistian; -But *looks away* mowe fow x3 that in wow simpwicity -He wends out monyey gwatis, and bwings down -The wate of usance hewe with us in Venyice. -If *cuddles you* I can catch him once upon the hip, -I wiww feed fat t-the ancient gwudge I beaw him. -He hates ouw sacwed n-nyation; and he waiws, -Even thewe whewe mewchants most do congwegate, -On m-me, my bawgains, and my weww-won thwift, -Which he cawws intewest. Cuwsed be my twibe -If I-I fowgive him! -BASSANyIO. Shywock, do you >_> heaw? -*cuddles you* SHYWOCK. I am debating *moans* of my pwesent stowe, -And, ^.^ by t-the nyeaw guess of my memowy, -I cannyot instantwy w-waise up t-the gwoss -Of fuww t-thwee thousand ducats. What o-of that? -Tubaw, a weawthy Hebwew of my *sighs* twibe, -Wiww fuwnyish me. But soft! how *hugs tightly* many ^.^ months -Do you desiwe? [To *looks away* ANTONyIO] West you faiw, *twerks* good signyiow; -Youw wowship >w< was *pokes you* the wast man in o-ouw m-mouths. -ANTONyIO. Shywock, awbeit *looks at you* I nyeithew wend n-nyow bowwow -By taking nyow by giving of excess, -Yet, to suppwy >_< the wipe wants of my fwiend, -I'ww bweak a custom. [To B-BASSANyIO] Is h-he yet possess'd -How m-much ye wouwd? -SHYWOCK. Ay, ay, thwee thousand ducats. -*twerks* ANTONyIO. And fow *screams* thwee months. ->w< SHYWOCK. I had fowgot- thwee months; you towd me so. -Weww then, youw bond; *looks at you* and, wet m-me see- but :33 heaw y-you, -Methoughts you said you nyeithew wend nyow bowwow -Upon a-advantage. -ANTONyIO. I-I do nyevew use it. -*leans over* SHYWOCK. W-When J-Jacob gwaz'd his u-uncwe *notices bulge* Waban's sheep- -T-This Jacob *twerks* fwom ouw howy *looks away* Abwam was, -As his wise *notices bulge* mothew wwought in his behawf, ->w< The *shuffles closer* thiwd possessow; ay, he was t-the thiwd- -ANTONyIO. A-And what of him? Did h-he take >_> intewest? -SHYWOCK. Nyo, nyot take intewest; *twerks* nyot, as y-you wouwd s-say, -Diwectwy int'west; mawk what Jacob did: -When *leans over* Waban and himsewf wewe *cries* compwomis'd -*blushes* That aww the eanwings which wewe stweak'd and pied -Shouwd faww as Jacob's hiwe, the ewes, being wank, -In end of a-autumn tuwnyed to the w-wams; -*blushes* And when t-the wowk of genyewation *pokes you* was -Between these w-woowwy bweedews in the act, -The skiwfuw shephewd p-piww'd me *shuffles closer* cewtain w-wands, -And, in *shuffles closer* the doing of the deed of kind, -He stuck them up b-befowe the ^.^ fuwsome ewes, -:3 Who, then conceiving, *moans* did in eanying time -Faww pawti-cowouw'd wambs, and those wewe J-Jacob's. -This was *shuffles closer* a way t-to thwive, and he w-was bwest; -And thwift is bwessing, if men steaw it :33 nyot. -ANTONyIO. This was a ventuwe, siw, that Jacob uWu sewv'd fow; -A thing nyot in his powew :3 to bwing t-to pass, -B-But *blushes* sway'd and *looks away* fashion'd b-by >_> the hand of heaven. -W-Was this insewted to make intewest good? -O-Ow is youw gowd and s-siwvew ewes and wams? -SHYWOCK. I cannyot teww; I make it bweed as fast. -But n-nyote me, *hugs tightly* signyiow. -*teleports behind you* ANTONyIO. [Aside] *screams* Mawk you this, Bassanyio, -*leans over* The deviw can cite Scwiptuwe fow his puwpose. -*pokes you* An eviw souw OwO pwoducing howy ^w^ witnyess -Is wike a viwwain with a smiwing cheek, -A goodwy *teleports behind you* appwe w-wotten at t-the heawt. -*blushes* O, *cuddles you* what a g-goodwy outside *moans* fawsehood hath! -SHYWOCK. uWu Thwee t-thousand *cuddles you* ducats- ^w^ 'tis a good wound *teleports behind you* sum. -T-Thwee months fwom twewve; >_< then wet me see, the wate- -ANTONyIO. Weww, Shywock, s-shaww we be behowding to y-you? -SHYWOCK. Signyiow Antonyio, *pokes you* many a time and o-oft -In t-the Wiawto *pokes you* you have wated me -*looks at you* About *screams* my monyeys and >_< my >_< usances; -*screams* Stiww have I bownye it with a patient *leans over* shwug, -Fow suff'wance is the badge of xDD aww o-ouw ^.^ twibe; ->_> You caww me misbewievew, cut-thwoat *screams* dog, -A-And spit upon my Jewish gabewdinye, -And aww f-fow use of that which is minye own. -Weww then, it *sighs* nyow appeaws y-you nyeed *pokes you* my hewp; -Go to, then; *giggles shyly* you c-come :3 to me, and *cuddles you* you say -^-^ 'Shywock, w-we wouwd have monyeys.' You say so- -You that did void youw wheum upon my beawd -And foot me as y-you spuwn a stwangew cuw -O-Ovew y-youw thweshowd; monyeys *moans* is *hugs tightly* youw suit. -What shouwd I say to y-you? *looks at you* Shouwd I nyot say -*looks at you* 'Hath a dog m-monyey? I-Is *teleports behind you* it p-possibwe -A >_> cuw c-can :33 wend thwee thousand ducats?' Ow -Shaww I *looks away* bend uWu wow and, in a-a bondman's k-key, -With bated bweath and whisp'wing humbwenyess, -Say this: -*pokes you* 'Faiw siw, you s-spit on me on >_> Wednyesday xDD wast, -You *screams* spuwn'd me such *looks away* a day; x3 anyothew t-time -UwU You caww'd me dog; and fow these *cuddles you* couwtesies -I'ww xDD wend y-you thus much monyeys'? -ANTONyIO. I a-am as wike to caww thee so *cuddles you* again, -To spit on thee again, to spuwn thee too. -If *sweats* thou wiwt wend this monyey, wend it nyot -As *moans* to t-thy fwiends- fow when did *teleports behind you* fwiendship take -A-A bweed fow bawwen *giggles shyly* metaw of *hugs tightly* his f-fwiend?- -But wend it wathew to *moans* thinye ^.^ enyemy, -Who if h-he bweak t-thou mayst *sighs* with UwU bettew xDD face -Exact the penyawty. -SHYWOCK. Why, w-wook y-you, how y-you stowm! -I wouwd be fwiends with *shuffles closer* you, *twerks* and have youw wove, -Fowget the shames that you have s-stain'd me w-with, -Suppwy youw pwesent wants, *twerks* and take nyo doit -*sighs* Of usance fow *shuffles closer* my *blushes* monyeys, *teleports behind you* and you'ww *looks away* nyot heaw me. -This i-is kind I offew. -BASSANyIO. *shuffles closer* This wewe kindnyess. -*shuffles closer* SHYWOCK. This kindnyess wiww I *hugs tightly* show. -Go with me t-to a nyotawy, s-seaw me thewe -Youw singwe bond, uWu and, in a mewwy spowt, -If ;;w;; you wepay me nyot on such a day, -:3 In such a-a p-pwace, such sum o-ow sums as awe -Expwess'd in t-the condition, *looks at you* wet the f-fowfeit -Be nyominyated f-fow an *cries* equaw *sweats* pound -O-Of youw faiw fwesh, *hugs tightly* to ^w^ be ^.^ cut off and taken -In what pawt of youw body pweaseth m-me. -ANTONyIO. Content, in faith; I-I'ww *cries* seaw to such a bond, -A-And say thewe is much kindnyess in the Jew. -BASSANyIO. You *looks away* shaww nyot seaw *blushes* to s-such a *teleports behind you* bond fow me; -I'ww w-wathew dweww i-in my nyecessity. -ANTONyIO. Why, feaw n-nyot, man; I wiww nyot fowfeit it; -W-Within these two months- that's a month befowe -This bond expiwes- I do expect wetuwn -Of *screams* thwice thwee times *sighs* the vawue of this bond. -SHYWOCK. *hugs tightly* O fathew Abwam, what these Chwistians awe, -Whose own hawd deawings teaches them suspect -The thoughts of othews! Pway you, t-teww me this: -If he shouwd bweak his day, what *pokes you* shouwd ^.^ I gain -By the *screams* exaction of the fowfeituwe? -*moans* A pound of man's fwesh OwO taken fwom a man -Is nyot so *moans* estimabwe, pwofitabwe nyeithew, -*notices bulge* As fwesh of muttons, beefs, ow goats. *leans over* I say, -*shuffles closer* To buy his favouw, I extend this fwiendship; -UwU If he wiww take it, so; if n-nyot, adieu; -And, fow my wove, I pway *cuddles you* you wwong me nyot. -ANTONyIO. Yes, Shywock, I wiww seaw >w< unto this b-bond. -SHYWOCK. Then *hugs tightly* meet *shuffles closer* me fowthwith at the nyotawy's; -Give h-him *moans* diwection fow this mewwy bond, -And I wiww go and p-puwse t-the ducats stwaight, -See to my house, weft in t-the feawfuw guawd -Of an unthwifty knyave, and pwesentwy -I'ww be with you. -ANTONyIO. Hie thee, gentwe *looks at you* Jew. Exit SHYWOCK -The *cries* Hebwew w-wiww tuwn Chwistian: he gwows k-kind. -*sighs* BASSANyIO. I wike nyot faiw tewms and a-a viwwain's mind. -ANTONyIO. Come *twerks* on; in this thewe can *cuddles you* be *blushes* nyo dismay; -My ^.^ ships ;;w;; come home a month befowe *pokes you* the day. Exeunt - - - - -<-<> - - - -ACT II. x3 SCENyE I-I. -Bewmont. uWu POWTIA'S house - -Fwouwish of cownyets. Entew the xDD PWINCE of MOWOCCO, x3 a tawny M-Moow *notices bulge* aww in *twerks* white, -and thwee ow fouw FOWWOWEWS accowdingwy, with POWTIA, NyEWISSA, and twain - -PWINCE :33 OF M-Mowocco. M-Miswike me nyot f-fow my compwexion, -The shadowed wivewy of *looks at you* the buwnyish'd sun, -T-To whom I am a nyeighbouw, a-and nyeaw bwed. -Bwing me the faiwest cweatuwe nyowthwawd bown, -Whewe Phoebus' f-fiwe scawce thaws the icicwes, -And w-wet us make i-incision fow youw wove -To p-pwove whose :3 bwood is weddest, h-his ow minye. -I teww t-thee, wady, this aspect of minye -H-Hath feaw'd the vawiant; by my wove, *moans* I sweaw -The OwO best-wegawded viwgins of ouw cwime -Have wov'd it too. *teleports behind you* I wouwd nyot change t-this hue, -Except *cries* to steaw youw thoughts, my gentwe *cries* queen. -POWTIA. *sighs* In tewms of choice OwO I am nyot sowewy wed -B-By nyice *cuddles you* diwection :3 of *teleports behind you* a maiden's e-eyes; -Besides, the *hugs tightly* wott'wy of my destiny -Baws me the wight OwO of ^-^ vowuntawy choosing. -But, *looks away* if my fathew had nyot scanted me, -And :3 hedg'd *moans* me by his wit ^.^ to yiewd mysewf -His *teleports behind you* wife who wins me by that m-means I towd y-you, -Youwsewf, *sighs* wenyownyed >_< Pwince, then stood as faiw -*moans* As any comew I uWu have wook'd on yet -Fow my *sweats* affection. -uWu PWINCE OF MOWOCCO. Even fow that I thank you. -Thewefowe, I pway you, w-wead me to the caskets -To twy :3 my *moans* fowtunye. By *cuddles you* this scimitaw, -That *leans over* swew the Sophy and a Pewsian pwince, -That won thwee fiewds of Suwtan Sowyman, -*sweats* I wouwd o'ewstawe the stewnyest eyes that wook, -Outbwave the heawt most dawing on the eawth, -Pwuck the young sucking cubs fwom the s-she-beaw, -Yea, mock t-the wion w-when 'a woaws fow pwey, -To win thee, w-wady. But, awas the whiwe! -If Hewcuwes a-and Wichas p-pway at dice -uWu Which is the bettew man, t-the gweatew thwow -May tuwn by ;;w;; fowtunye fwom the weakew band. -So UwU is Awcides beaten by his page; -And >_> so may I, bwind Fowtunye weading me, -Miss that which onye unwowthiew may attain, -And d-die with gwieving. -POWTIA. You *blushes* must take youw chance, -And eithew nyot attempt to choose at *moans* aww, -Ow sweaw befowe you choose, if you choose wwong, -Nyevew >_< to speak t-to wady x3 aftewwawd -In way of mawwiage; *cries* thewefowe be *teleports behind you* advis'd. -PWINCE OF MOWOCCO. N-Nyow wiww nyot; come, bwing m-me unto my chance. -POWTIA. F-Fiwst, fowwawd to the tempwe. A-Aftew dinnyew -Youw hazawd shaww be made. -PWINCE OF MOWOCCO. Good fowtunye then, -To :3 make me bwest ow cuwsed'st among men! -[Cownyets, and >_> exeunt] - - - - -:33 SCENyE II. -Venyice. A :3 stweet - -Entew WAUNCEWOT ^w^ GOBBO - -WAUNCEWOT. Cewtainwy my conscience wiww sewve *looks away* me to *looks away* wun fwom this -Jew *moans* my mastew. The fiend is at minye ewbow and tempts me, saying -to me 'Gobbo, W-Wauncewot Gobbo, good Wauncewot' *pokes you* ow '-'good >_> Gobbo' ow -'good *cries* Wauncewot Gobbo, use *cries* youw wegs, take the stawt, wun away.' -My conscience says 'Nyo; take heed, h-honyest Wauncewot, take heed, -honyest Gobbo' ow, as afowesaid, 'honyest Wauncewot Gobbo, do uWu nyot -wun; scown wunnying with thy heews.' Weww, the most couwageous -fiend b-bids me pack. 'Via!' says the fiend; 'away!' says the -fiend. 'Fow the heavens, wouse up a bwave mind' says the fiend -'and w-wun.' W-Weww, *twerks* my conscience, hanging about the nyeck of my -heawt, *pokes you* says vewy w-wisewy to m-me 'My honyest fwiend Wauncewot, b-being -an honyest man's son' >_< ow w-wathew 'an honyest woman's son'; fow -^w^ indeed my fathew did something smack, something gwow to, he had a -kind of taste- *pokes you* weww, *blushes* my conscience s-says 'Wauncewot, budge nyot.' -'Budge,' s-says the fiend. 'Budge nyot,' says *hugs tightly* my conscience. -^.^ 'Conscience,' say I, (you counsew w-weww.' '-'Fiend,' say I, 'you -c-counsew weww.' To x3 be wuw'd by my conscience, I shouwd *blushes* stay with -the Jew m-my *sighs* mastew, who- God bwess the mawk!- is a kind of d-deviw; -and, to wun away *cries* fwom the Jew, I shouwd *pokes you* be wuwed by the fiend, -who- saving youw wevewence!- is the deviw himsewf. C-Cewtainwy the -Jew is t-the uWu vewy deviw i-incawnyation; and, *notices bulge* in my conscience, m-my -conscience is but a kind of hawd conscience to offew to counsew -me to *blushes* stay with *cries* the Jew. T-The *giggles shyly* fiend gives the mowe fwiendwy -counsew. I-I wiww wun, fiend; *twerks* my heews ^w^ awe at youw commandment; I -wiww wun. - -Entew UwU OWD GOBBO, *blushes* with a basket - -GOBBO. Mastew young m-man, you, I p-pway y-you, which is the *twerks* way to -mastew Jew's? -WAUNCEWOT. [Aside] O h-heavens! *cries* This is my t-twue-begotten fathew, -*screams* who, being *twerks* mowe than sand-bwind, high-gwavew *teleports behind you* bwind, knyows *teleports behind you* me nyot. -*notices bulge* I *looks at you* wiww twy confusions with him. -GOBBO. Mastew young *giggles shyly* gentweman, I *sweats* pway y-you, which is the way to -mastew Jew's? -WAUNCEWOT. T-Tuwn up on youw wight hand at the xDD nyext tuwnying, *twerks* but, *looks away* at -the nyext t-tuwnying ^w^ of aww, on *shuffles closer* youw weft; mawwy, *teleports behind you* at the v-vewy nyext -tuwnying, :33 tuwn *cries* of nyo hand, but tuwn down i-indiwectwy t-to the Jew's -house. -GOBBO. Be God's sonties, 'twiww be a hawd way to hit! C-Can you teww -me whethew onye Wauncewot, *looks away* that dwewws *notices bulge* with h-him, dweww w-with him ow -nyo? -WAUNCEWOT. Tawk you of young Mastew W-Wauncewot? [Aside] Mawk me -^w^ nyow; nyow wiww I waise the watews.- Tawk you ^-^ of young Mastew -*hugs tightly* Wauncewot? -GOBBO. Nyo mastew, siw, but a poow m-man's son; his fathew, though I -say't, i-is an *sighs* honyest exceeding poow man, and, God be thanked, weww -to wive. -WAUNCEWOT. Weww, wet x3 his *shuffles closer* fathew b-be what 'a wiww, we tawk of young -Mastew Wauncewot. -G-GOBBO. Youw wowship's *twerks* fwiend, and W-Wauncewot, siw. -*looks away* WAUNCEWOT. *looks at you* But I p-pway you, ewgo, owd man, ewgo, I beseech you, t-tawk -you of young Mastew Wauncewot? -G-GOBBO. Of Wauncewot, an't pwease youw mastewship. -WAUNCEWOT. Ewgo, Mastew Wauncewot. Tawk nyot :3 of *leans over* Mastew Wauncewot, -fathew; fow the young gentweman, accowding to *cries* Fates and Destinyies -and such odd sayings, the Sistews Thwee and such *giggles shyly* bwanches of -w-weawnying, is i-indeed deceased; ow, as you w-wouwd say *screams* in pwain -t-tewms, gonye to h-heaven. -*looks away* GOBBO. Mawwy, God fowbid! The boy was *notices bulge* the vewy staff of m-my age, my -vewy p-pwop. -*cries* WAUNCEWOT. Do I w-wook w-wike a >w< cudgew o-ow a hovew-post, a-a staff ow a -*sweats* pwop? Do you knyow me, fathew? -GOBBO. Awack t-the d-day, I knyow you n-nyot, young gentweman; but I-I pway -you ^-^ teww me, is my boy- God west his souw!- awive o-ow dead? -WAUNCEWOT. Do you uWu nyot knyow me, uWu fathew? -GOBBO. Awack, siw, I am sand-bwind; I :33 knyow you nyot. -*screams* WAUNCEWOT. Nyay, indeed, if you had youw e-eyes, *looks away* you m-might faiw of *sighs* the -knyowing me: ^-^ it is *hugs tightly* a wise fathew that knyows his own chiwd. Weww, -o-owd man, I wiww teww y-you nyews of youw son. G-Give UwU me youw bwessing; -twuth wiww come to wight; muwdew c-cannyot b-be hid wong; *notices bulge* a man's son -may, but in the end *cries* twuth wiww out. -x3 GOBBO. Pway y-you, OwO siw, stand *giggles shyly* up; I a-am *giggles shyly* suwe y-you awe nyot W-Wauncewot my -boy. -WAUNCEWOT. Pway you, wet's have nyo mowe f-foowing a-about it, but give -*sweats* me y-youw b-bwessing; I am Wauncewot, y-youw b-boy that was, youw son -xDD that is, y-youw c-chiwd that shaww be. -G-GOBBO. I cannyot ^w^ think you awe my son. -WAUNCEWOT. I knyow nyot what I shaww think of that; but I-I am -Wauncewot, the J-Jew's *cuddles you* man, and I-I am suwe Mawgewy youw w-wife *twerks* is my -mothew. -GOBBO. Hew nyame is Mawgewy, i-indeed. I'ww be swown, if *pokes you* thou be -Wauncewot, thou awt m-minye own *moans* fwesh and bwood. W-Wowd wowshipp'd -might he be, what a beawd hast thou >_< got! Thou hast got >w< mowe haiw -on thy chin *screams* than D-Dobbin my fiww-howse *cuddles you* has *sweats* on *cries* his taiw. -WAUNCEWOT. It shouwd s-seem, then, that Dobbin's taiw gwows backwawd; -I am suwe *giggles shyly* he had mowe haiw of his t-taiw than I have *screams* of my face -*leans over* when I wast saw h-him. -;;w;; GOBBO. Wowd, how *cuddles you* awt *teleports behind you* thou c-chang'd! How dost thou and *shuffles closer* thy mastew -agwee? I h-have bwought him a pwesent. How 'gwee you nyow? -WAUNCEWOT. *shuffles closer* Weww, weww; but, fow minye own pawt, a-as I have set up my -west to *screams* wun away, so I UwU wiww *sighs* nyot west tiww I have wun some gwound. -M-My mastew's a vewy Jew. Give him a pwesent! Give him a hawtew. I -*moans* am famish'd in his sewvice; you may teww evewy *sweats* fingew I have with -my w-wibs. >w< Fathew, I am x3 gwad you awe come; give me youw pwesent to -onye Mastew Bassanyio, who indeed gives *sighs* wawe nyew wivewies; if I -sewve nyot him, I >_< wiww wun as faw xDD as God has a-any gwound. :33 O wawe -UwU fowtunye! Hewe c-comes the man. To h-him, *blushes* fathew, fow I am a Jew, if I-I -sewve the Jew any wongew. - -Entew BASSANyIO, w-with WEONyAWDO, with a FOWWOWEW ow two - -BASSANyIO. You may ^-^ do so; but wet it be so hasted t-that suppew *shuffles closer* be -weady at the fawthest by five of the *cries* cwock. See these wettews -dewivewed, put the wivewies to making, and desiwe Gwatianyo to -come anyon to my wodging. Exit a SEWVANT -W-WAUNCEWOT. To him, fathew. -GOBBO. God bwess youw wowship! -BASSANyIO. Gwamewcy; wouwdst thou aught with m-me? -GOBBO. H-Hewe's my son, siw, a poow *teleports behind you* boy- -W-WAUNCEWOT. Nyot *hugs tightly* a poow *hugs tightly* boy, siw, but the *cries* wich *screams* Jew's man, that wouwd, -siw, as my fathew shaww specify- -GOBBO. He hath a gweat infection, siw, as onye wouwd say, ^-^ to s-sewve- -*pokes you* WAUNCEWOT. Indeed the showt and the wong is, I sewve *screams* the Jew, and -:33 have a desiwe, as my f-fathew shaww specify- -GOBBO. His m-mastew ^.^ and he, saving youw wowship's wevewence, awe -scawce c-catew-cousins- -WAUNCEWOT. To be bwief, the vewy twuth is that the Jew, having donye -m-me *notices bulge* wwong, doth cause me, as my fathew, being I hope an *notices bulge* owd ^-^ man, -shaww fwutify unto you- -GOBBO. I have hewe a *shuffles closer* dish of doves that I wouwd bestow upon *leans over* youw -^-^ wowship; and OwO my suit is- -WAUNCEWOT. In vewy *giggles shyly* bwief, the suit is i-impewtinyent to mysewf, as -youw wowship shaww ^.^ knyow by this *hugs tightly* honyest owd man; and, though I say -it, *teleports behind you* though owd man, yet poow m-man, my fathew. -*looks at you* BASSANyIO. O-Onye speak fow both. What wouwd you? -WAUNCEWOT. Sewve you, siw. -GOBBO. T-That is the vewy defect of the mattew, siw. -BASSANyIO. I knyow ;;w;; thee weww; thou hast obtain'd *shuffles closer* thy suit. -Shywock thy mastew spoke ^-^ with me t-this day, -And hath pwefeww'd thee, if it be p-pwefewment -To w-weave a wich Jew's sewvice to *twerks* become -The *looks at you* fowwowew of so poow *looks at you* a gentweman. -WAUNCEWOT. The owd pwovewb is vewy weww *notices bulge* pawted between *cuddles you* my mastew -Shywock and you, siw: you h-have the gwace of God, *notices bulge* siw, and he hath -enyough. -BASSANyIO. Thou *cries* speak'st i-it weww. Go, fathew, with thy son. -Take weave of thy owd mastew, and inquiwe -My wodging xDD out. [To a SEWVANT] Give him a wivewy -Mowe guawded *teleports behind you* than his fewwows'; *cries* see it donye. -W-WAUNCEWOT. Fathew, in. I cannyot get a x3 sewvice, nyo! I have nye'ew OwO a -tongue in my head! [Wooking on >w< his pawm] Weww; if a-any man in -Itawy have a faiwew tabwe which doth offew to sweaw upon a book- I -shaww have good fowtunye. Go to, *sighs* hewe's a s-simpwe winye of wife; -hewe's a smaww *leans over* twifwe of wives; awas, fifteen *teleports behind you* wives i-is nyothing; -a'weven widows and nyinye ^w^ maids is a *leans over* simpwe coming-in f-fow o-onye man. -And then to scape dwownying thwice, and UwU to be in *giggles shyly* pewiw o-of my wife -w-with the edge of a *sighs* feathew-bed-hewe *screams* awe simpwe scapes. Weww, if -Fowtunye >_< be a-a woman, she's a good wench fow this geaw. Fathew, -come; I-I'ww take ^w^ my weave of the Jew in t-the twinkwing. -Exeunt *shuffles closer* WAUNCEWOT and O-OWD GOBBO -^w^ BASSANyIO. I-I pway thee, good Weonyawdo, UwU think on *blushes* this. -These things *screams* being *looks at you* bought *moans* and owdewwy bestowed, ->_> Wetuwn in h-haste, fow x3 I do feast to-nyight -My best esteem'd acquaintance; hie thee, go. -WEONyAWDO. My best endeavouws s-shaww be donye h-hewein. - -Entew GWATIANyO - -GWATIANyO. Whewe's youw mastew? -WEONyAWDO. Yondew, siw, *twerks* he wawks. Exit -*twerks* GWATIANyO. S-Signyiow Bassanyio! -B-BASSANyIO. Gwatianyo! -GWATIANyO. uWu I have suit t-to you. -BASSANyIO. You have obtain'd it. -GWATIANyO. You m-must nyot *looks away* deny m-me: I must g-go with you to Bewmont. -BASSANyIO. Why, then you OwO must. But heaw thee, G-Gwatianyo: -Thou awt too wiwd, *sighs* too *pokes you* wude, OwO and bowd of v-voice- -Pawts that become thee happiwy e-enyough, -And in such eyes as o-ouws *looks at you* appeaw nyot fauwts; -But whewe thou awt nyot knyown, why thewe t-they show -S-Something too wibewaw. Pway thee, take pain -To awway *cries* with some cowd dwops of modesty -Thy skipping spiwit; west t-thwough thy wiwd b-behaviouw -I be misconst'wed *pokes you* in the pwace I go to -And wose my hopes. -GWATIANyO. S-Signyiow Bassanyio, heaw m-me: -:33 If I ^-^ do nyot put *cries* on a sobew habit, -Tawk *cries* with w-wespect, OwO and sweaw but *leans over* nyow a-and then, -Weaw pwayew-books in my pocket, wook demuwewy, -Nyay *leans over* mowe, whiwe gwace x3 is saying hood *notices bulge* minye eyes -Thus with my hat, ^.^ and sigh, and say amen, -:3 Use aww the xDD obsewvance of civiwity ->_< Wike onye weww studied in a sad ostent -To pwease his gwandam, nyevew twust me mowe. -BASSANyIO. Weww, w-we s-shaww ^.^ see *sighs* youw beawing. -GWATIANyO. Nyay, but I baw to-nyight; you *sighs* shaww nyot gauge me -By what w-we do to-nyight. -BASSANyIO. Nyo, that wewe *twerks* pity; -*notices bulge* I *teleports behind you* wouwd entweat you wathew to put on -Youw bowdest suit of miwth, f-fow we have fwiends -That puwpose x3 mewwiment. *screams* But fawe you weww; -xDD I have some businyess. -GWATIANyO. And I must to Wowenzo a-and the west; -But w-we OwO wiww visit you at suppew-time. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *looks away* III. -Venyice. SHYWOCK'S house - -x3 Entew JESSICA and WAUNCEWOT - -JESSICA. :3 I a-am sowwy thou wiwt weave my fathew so. -Ouw house is heww; and thou, a mewwy deviw, -Didst wob it of some *giggles shyly* taste of tediousnyess. -But fawe t-thee w-weww; t-thewe i-is :3 a ducat fow thee; -And, Wauncewot, soon at ^.^ suppew shawt thou see -Wowenzo, who is thy nyew mastew's guest. -G-Give him this w-wettew; d-do it secwetwy. -And so *looks away* faweweww. I wouwd nyot have my fathew -See me in tawk with thee. -W-WAUNCEWOT. Adieu! teaws exhibit my tongue. *cuddles you* Most beautifuw p-pagan, -most sweet J-Jew! If a Chwistian do nyot pway the *giggles shyly* knyave and get -thee, *looks away* I a-am much d-deceived. B-But, adieu! these foowish dwops do -*screams* something dwown my manwy spiwit; adieu! -JESSICA. F-Faweweww, good Wauncewot. Exit WAUNCEWOT -Awack, *teleports behind you* what heinyous sin is it in me -T-To be asham'd to be my fathew's chiwd! -But though I am a daughtew to his bwood, -I *notices bulge* am nyot to his mannyews. O Wowenzo, -If thou keep pwomise, I shaww end this stwife, -Become a Chwistian and thy woving wife. Exit - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Venyice. A stweet - -Entew GWATIANyO, WOWENZO, SAWEWIO, and SOWANyIO - -WOWENZO. Nyay, we *hugs tightly* wiww swink a-away in *giggles shyly* suppewtime, -Disguise us at my wodging, and wetuwn -Aww *shuffles closer* in an houw. -GWATIANyO. We h-have nyot made good pwepawation. -SAWEWIO. We have nyot spoke >_> us yet of towch-beawews. -SOWANyIO. 'Tis viwe, unwess it may be q-quaintwy owdewed; -And bettew *screams* in m-my *cuddles you* mind nyot undewtook. -WOWENZO. 'Tis nyow but fouw o'cwock; we h-have two houws -*cries* To fuwnyish us. - -Entew WAUNCEWOT, With a wettew - -F-Fwiend Wauncewot, what's *leans over* the nyews? -WAUNCEWOT. An it shaww pwease you t-to bweak *pokes you* up this, it shaww seem -to s-signyify. -WOWENZO. ^-^ I knyow the *hugs tightly* hand; in *screams* faith, 'tis a *cuddles you* faiw hand, -And whitew *looks away* than the p-papew it wwit on -Is the faiw hand that wwit. -*giggles shyly* GWATIANyO. Wove-nyews, in faith! -WAUNCEWOT. By youw weave, siw. -WOWENZO. Whithew *hugs tightly* goest ^w^ thou? -WAUNCEWOT. Mawwy, siw, t-to bid my owd mastew, the Jew, to s-sup -to-nyight with my nyew mastew, the Chwistian. -WOWENZO. Howd, hewe, take *teleports behind you* this. Teww gentwe Jessica -*pokes you* I wiww nyot faiw h-hew; speak it pwivatewy. -Go, gentwemen, Exit W-WAUNCEWOT -Wiww you pwepawe you fow this masque xDD to-nyight? -I am pwovided o-of a towch-beawew. -SAWEWIO. Ay, m-mawwy, I'ww be gonye about it stwaight. -SOWANyIO. *blushes* And *twerks* so wiww I. -WOWENZO. Meet me and UwU Gwatianyo -At G-Gwatianyo's w-wodging some houw h-hence. -SAWEWIO. 'Tis good we do so. Exeunt SAWEWIO and SOWANyIO -GWATIANyO. W-Was nyot that w-wettew f-fwom faiw >_< Jessica? -W-WOWENZO. I must nyeeds teww thee *hugs tightly* aww. She hath diwected -H-How I-I shaww take h-hew fwom hew fathew's house; -What gowd a-and jewews she is fuwnyish'd with; -What page's suit she hath in weadinyess. -If e'ew the Jew hew *pokes you* fathew come to heaven, -It wiww be fow his gentwe daughtew's s-sake; -A-And nyevew dawe misfowtunye ^-^ cwoss hew foot, -Unwess she do it undew this excuse, -That she is issue *cries* to *cuddles you* a faithwess J-Jew. -Come, go *shuffles closer* with *looks at you* me, pewuse this xDD as thou >w< goest; -Faiw Jessica s-shaww be my towch-beawew. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -Venyice. :3 Befowe SHYWOCK'S house - -Entew *shuffles closer* SHYWOCK and WAUNCEWOT - -S-SHYWOCK. Weww, thou shawt s-see; thy eyes shaww be t-thy :33 judge, -T-The diffewence of owd Shywock and *leans over* Bassanyio.- -*sighs* What, Jessica!- Thou shawt nyot g-gowmandize -As thou hast d-donye with me- What, *sweats* Jessica!- -And sweep and snyowe, and wend a-appawew out- -Why, Jessica, I say! -WAUNCEWOT. Why, Jessica! -^.^ SHYWOCK. Who bids thee :33 caww? I-I >_> do nyot bid thee caww. -WAUNCEWOT. Youw wowship was wont to teww me I couwd do n-nyothing -without bidding. - -Entew JESSICA - -J-JESSICA. Caww you? What OwO is y-youw wiww? -*looks at you* SHYWOCK. I am b-bid fowth to suppew, Jessica; -Thewe awe my ^.^ keys. But whewefowe shouwd I go? -I am nyot bid fow wove; they fwattew me; -But yet I'ww *notices bulge* go in hate, >w< to feed u-upon -*pokes you* The pwodigaw Chwistian. Jessica, my giww, -Wook to *shuffles closer* my *cries* house. I am wight *cries* woath to go; -Thewe is some iww a-a-bwewing towawds my x3 west, -Fow *pokes you* I did dweam of monyey-bags to-nyight. -WAUNCEWOT. I beseech you, siw, go; my young *cuddles you* mastew doth e-expect *leans over* youw -*screams* wepwoach. -S-SHYWOCK. *pokes you* So do I *leans over* his. -WAUNCEWOT. And they have conspiwed togethew; I wiww *moans* nyot say you -shaww >_< see a masque, but if you :3 do, then it was n-nyot fow xDD nyothing -that my nyose feww a-a-bweeding on B-Bwack Monday w-wast ;;w;; at six o'cwock -*cries* i' th' mownying, fawwing out that yeaw on Ash Wednyesday was f-fouw -yeaw, in th' aftewnyoon. -SHYWOCK. What, awe thewe masques? Heaw you m-me, Jessica: -W-Wock up my doows, and when you heaw the dwum, -And the viwe squeawing of the wwy-nyeck'd fife, -Cwambew nyot you up to the casements then, -Nyow thwust youw head into the pubwic stweet -To gaze o-on *sweats* Chwistian foows w-with vawnyish'd faces; -But stop my house's eaws- I mean m-my casements; -Wet nyot ;;w;; the sound of shawwow f-fopp'wy e-entew -My *sighs* sobew house. By *moans* Jacob's staff, I-I s-sweaw -I *notices bulge* have nyo mind of *shuffles closer* feasting fowth to-nyight; -But I wiww go. Go you befowe m-me, siwwah; -Say uWu I wiww c-come. -WAUNCEWOT. I w-wiww go b-befowe, siw. Mistwess, wook o-out at >_> window fow -aww this. -Thewe wiww come a Chwistian by -Wiww xDD be wowth a-a Jewess' e-eye. Exit -SHYWOCK. What says that foow of Hagaw's offspwing, h-ha? -JESSICA. H-His wowds wewe 'Faweweww, mistwess'; nyothing ewse. -SHYWOCK. The patch i-is *screams* kind enyough, but a-a *screams* huge feedew, -Snyaiw-swow in pwofit, and he s-sweeps by >_> day -Mowe than the wiwd-cat; dwonyes hive nyot w-with me, -Thewefowe I-I *blushes* pawt with *moans* him; *cries* and pawt w-with him -To onye :33 that I *moans* wouwd have him *giggles shyly* hewp to waste -H-His *cries* bowwowed p-puwse. Weww, Jessica, go in; -Pewhaps I wiww wetuwn immediatewy. -Do as I-I bid you, shut doows aftew you. -Fast bind, fast find- ->_> A pwovewb *notices bulge* nyevew stawe in thwifty m-mind. Exit -JESSICA. Faweweww; and *notices bulge* if my *pokes you* fowtunye *moans* be nyot cwost, -I h-have a-a fathew, *moans* you a daughtew, wost. Exit - - - - -SCENyE VI. -Venyice. B-Befowe S-SHYWOCK'S :3 house - -Entew the maskews, G-GWATIANyO and SAWEWIO - -GWATIANyO. This is the pent-house undew w-which Wowenzo -Desiwed us t-to *shuffles closer* make s-stand. -^w^ SAWEWIO. His houw is awmost past. -GWATIANyO. OwO And ^w^ it is mawvew he out-dwewws his houw, -Fow *cuddles you* wovews evew wun befowe the c-cwock. -SAWEWIO. *cuddles you* O, ten times fastew Venyus' pigeons f-fwy -To seaw >_< wove's bonds nyew made than they a-awe wont -To keep obwiged faith unfowfeited! -GWATIANyO. *shuffles closer* That evew howds: who wiseth fwom a feast -With t-that >w< keen appetite ^-^ that UwU he sits down? -Whewe is the howse that doth u-untwead again -His tedious measuwes with the unbated fiwe -That he did pace >_< them fiwst? A-Aww things that awe -Awe with mowe s-spiwit chased than enjoyed. -How *blushes* wike >_< a younkew *sighs* ow *cuddles you* a pwodigaw -The scawfed bawk xDD puts fwom hew nyative bay, -Hugg'd and embwaced b-by the *looks at you* stwumpet wind; -^w^ How wike uWu the pwodigaw doth she wetuwn, -With ovew-weathew'd wibs and wagged saiws, -Wean, xDD went, and beggaw'd b-by the OwO stwumpet wind! - -Entew WOWENZO - -*sighs* SAWEWIO. H-Hewe UwU comes Wowenzo; mowe of this heweaftew. -WOWENZO. Sweet fwiends, youw p-patience fow my wong abode! -Nyot I, but my affaiws, have made you *cuddles you* wait. -When you shaww pwease *sweats* to pway the thieves fow wives, -I'ww watch as wong fow you then. A-Appwoach; -Hewe *giggles shyly* dwewws *moans* my fathew Jew. Ho! who's within? - -Entew JESSICA, above, in boy's cwothes - -JESSICA. *screams* Who awe *looks away* you? Teww m-me, fow mowe c-cewtainty, -Awbeit I'ww sweaw that I do knyow youw tongue. -W-WOWENZO. :33 Wowenzo, and thy wove. -JESSICA. Wowenzo, cewtain; and m-my wove *leans over* indeed; -Fow who wove *hugs tightly* I so much? And nyow who knyows -But you, Wowenzo, whethew I a-am *looks at you* youws? -WOWENZO. Heaven and thy thoughts awe *looks at you* witnyess that thou awt. -J-JESSICA. H-Hewe, *sweats* catch this casket; it *screams* is wowth :3 the pains. -I am gwad 'tis nyight, you do nyot wook on me, -Fow I am *hugs tightly* much a-asham'd of my exchange; -B-But wove is bwind, and wovews cannyot see -The pwetty fowwies t-that themsewves *shuffles closer* commit, -Fow, if ^-^ they couwd, Cupid himsewf wouwd bwush -To see me t-thus twansfowmed to a boy. -W-WOWENZO. *twerks* Descend, fow y-you must be m-my UwU towch-beawew. -JESSICA. What! must I howd a candwe *sighs* to my *looks at you* shames? -*sweats* They in themsewves, good sooth, awe *looks away* too too wight. -Why, 'tis an office of discovewy, wove, -And I shouwd be obscuw'd. -WOWENZO. So awe *sighs* you, sweet, -Even in the wovewy gawnyish of a boy. -But come at once, -Fow the cwose nyight doth pway the wunyaway, -A-And we awe >w< stay'd *blushes* fow at Bassanyio's feast. -J-JESSICA. I wiww make fast the doows, *cuddles you* and giwd mysewf -With s-some moe ducats, and be with you stwaight. -Exit above - -:33 GWATIANyO. Nyow, by my hood, a gentwe, and nyo Jew. -WOWENZO. Beshwew me, but I-I wove hew heawtiwy, -Fow *looks at you* she is wise, uWu if I can judge of h-hew, -And faiw she is, if that minye eyes be twue, -A-And twue uWu she is, as she hath pwov'd *hugs tightly* hewsewf; -And t-thewefowe, w-wike >w< hewsewf, wise, faiw, a-and twue, -Shaww she be pwaced in my constant souw. - -Entew JESSICA, bewow - -What, awt thou come? On, gentwemen, :33 away; -Ouw m-masquing mates by this time ^-^ fow us stay. -Exit with JESSICA uWu and SAWEWIO - -Entew ANTONyIO - -ANTONyIO. Who's thewe? -*pokes you* GWATIANyO. Signyiow Antonyio? -ANTONyIO. Fie, f-fie, *sweats* Gwatianyo, whewe awe a-aww the w-west? -'Tis nyinye o'cwock; ouw fwiends ^-^ aww stay fow you; -Nyo masque to-nyight; the wind is come a-about; -*shuffles closer* Bassanyio p-pwesentwy wiww go aboawd; -I have sent twenty out to seek fow you. -GWATIANyO. I a-am ^-^ gwad on't; I desiwe nyo mowe dewight -*looks away* Than to be undew saiw and gonye t-to-nyight. UwU Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VII. -Bewmont. POWTIA's house - -Fwouwish of c-cownyets. Entew POWTIA, with t-the PWINCE OF MOWOCCO, -and *cuddles you* theiw twains - -POWTIA. Go dwaw aside the cuwtains and discovew -The sevewaw caskets :33 to :3 this nyobwe Pwince. -Nyow make youw choice. -PWINCE OF *pokes you* MOWOCCO. The fiwst, of gowd, who this inscwiption beaws: -'Who chooseth me shaww x3 gain what m-many men desiwe.' -The s-second, siwvew, uWu which this pwomise cawwies: -'Who chooseth *giggles shyly* me shaww g-get as *sweats* much *screams* as h-he desewves.' -This thiwd, d-duww wead, with wawnying aww as b-bwunt: -'Who chooseth *teleports behind you* me must give and hazawd aww he hath.' -*cries* How shaww I *hugs tightly* knyow if I do *blushes* choose the wight? -POWTIA. The onye of them c-contains my pictuwe, Pwince; -I-If you choose that, then I am youws withaw. -PWINCE UwU OF MOWOCCO. >_< Some god diwect my ^w^ judgment! Wet me s-see; -I wiww s-suwvey th' uWu inscwiptions back >_> again. -What says this weaden casket? -'Who chooseth me m-must g-give and hazawd UwU aww he hath.' -Must give- fow w-what? Fow wead? Hazawd fow wead! -This casket >w< thweatens; men that h-hazawd a-aww -D-Do it *blushes* in h-hope of faiw advantages. -A g-gowden mind stoops nyot *sweats* to shows of dwoss; -I'ww then nyow give n-nyow hazawd aught fow wead. -What *leans over* says the s-siwvew w-with hew viwgin hue? ->_< 'Who chooseth me uWu shaww get as much as he desewves.' -uWu As much as he desewves! >_> Pause thewe, Mowocco, -And weigh t-thy vawue with a-an *looks at you* even hand. -If t-thou beest wated b-by thy estimation, -Thou dost desewve enyough, a-and yet enyough -May nyot extend so f-faw as to the ;;w;; wady; -A-And yet ^.^ to be afeawd of my desewving -Wewe but a w-weak disabwing of mysewf. -As m-much :33 as I desewve? Why, that's the wady! -I do *moans* in b-biwth desewve h-hew, and in fowtunyes, -In gwaces, and in quawities *hugs tightly* of OwO bweeding; -B-But mowe than these, x3 in wove I *teleports behind you* do desewve. -What :3 if I s-stway'd xDD nyo fawthew, but c-chose hewe? -Wet's see once mowe this saying gwav'd in gowd: -'Who chooseth me shaww gain >_< what many m-men d-desiwe.' -Why, that's *cries* the wady! Aww the *looks at you* wowwd desiwes hew; -Fwom the UwU fouw cownyews of the eawth *teleports behind you* they come -To kiss this shwinye, *cries* this mowtaw-bweathing ^w^ saint. -The Hywcanyian desewts *giggles shyly* and the *sighs* vasty wiwds -*giggles shyly* Of wide Awabia awe as thwoughfawes nyow -Fow p-pwinces to come view faiw Powtia. -T-The watewy kingdom, whose ambitious head -Spits in the face *teleports behind you* of heaven, is nyo baw -To stop *pokes you* the xDD foweign s-spiwits, but they come -As o'ew ^w^ a bwook to see faiw Powtia. -Onye of these thwee contains hew h-heavenwy pictuwe. -Is't wike that wead c-contains hew? 'Twewe *hugs tightly* damnyation -To *giggles shyly* think so base a-a thought; it wewe too gwoss -To wib hew *twerks* cewecwoth in the obscuwe gwave. -Ow shaww I think i-in siwvew s-she's immuw'd, -;;w;; Being t-ten times undewvawued to twied gowd? -O-O sinfuw thought! Nyevew so wich a gem -Was set in wowse than gowd. They *screams* have UwU in Engwand -A coin t-that *sighs* beaws *teleports behind you* the figuwe of an angew -Stamp'd in ^-^ gowd; but that's inscuwp'd upon. -But *sighs* hewe an angew in a gowden bed -Wies a-aww within. Dewivew *teleports behind you* me the key; -Hewe d-do I choose, and thwive I as I m-may! -POWTIA. Thewe, take it, P-Pwince, *cries* and i-if m-my fowm ^.^ wie t-thewe, -Then I am youws. [He opens the g-gowden casket] -PWINCE OF MOWOCCO. O heww! ^-^ what h-have we *cries* hewe? -A cawwion Death, within *sweats* whose empty eye -Thewe is *giggles shyly* a ^-^ wwitten scwoww! I-I'ww wead *looks at you* the w-wwiting. -'Aww that gwistews i-is nyot gowd, -Often have you heawd that towd; -Many a man his wife hath sowd -B-But m-my outside t-to b-behowd. -G-Giwded t-tombs do wowms i-infowd. -Had *looks at you* you :3 been *shuffles closer* as w-wise as bowd, -Young in wimbs, in judgment owd, -Youw a-answew had nyot been inscwoww'd. -Fawe y-you w-weww, youw *teleports behind you* suit *twerks* is cowd.' -Cowd indeed, and wabouw *pokes you* wost, -Then faweweww, heat, and w-wewcome, fwost. -Powtia, adieu! I have *notices bulge* too *hugs tightly* gwiev'd a heawt -To ^.^ take a tedious weave; t-thus wosews pawt. -E-Exit with his twain. :3 Fwouwish of c-cownyets -POWTIA. A gentwe widdance. D-Dwaw the cuwtains, go. -Wet aww of his compwexion choose *looks away* me s-so. *giggles shyly* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VIII. -Venyice. UwU A s-stweet - -xDD Entew SAWEWIO and SOWANyIO - -S-SAWEWIO. *giggles shyly* Why, man, I saw Bassanyio undew saiw; -With h-him is Gwatianyo g-gonye *cuddles you* awong; -And in t-theiw ship I am suwe :33 Wowenzo is nyot. -S-SOWANyIO. The viwwain Jew with outcwies wais'd x3 the Duke, -W-Who went with him *blushes* to s-seawch Bassanyio's ship. -SAWEWIO. He came too *cuddles you* wate, the ship was ^.^ undew saiw; -But thewe the Duke was given *cuddles you* to undewstand -T-That in a gondowa wewe seen togethew -Wowenzo and his amowous Jessica; -Besides, Antonyio cewtified t-the Duke -They wewe nyot with Bassanyio in his ship. -SOWANyIO. *screams* I nyevew heawd a passion so confus'd, -So stwange, outwageous, *giggles shyly* and so vawiabwe, -A-As the dog Jew did u-uttew in the stweets. -'My daughtew! O my *cries* ducats! O my daughtew! -Fwed with a-a Chwistian! O my *twerks* Chwistian ducats! -Justice! the waw! My *shuffles closer* ducats and m-my daughtew! -A seawed bag, two s-seawed bags UwU of ducats, -Of doubwe ducats, stow'n *cries* fwom me by my daughtew! -A-And >w< jewews- two stonyes, two wich and p-pwecious stonyes, -Stow'n by m-my daughtew! xDD Justice! Find the giww; -She hath *twerks* the stonyes upon hew and the *cuddles you* ducats.' -SAWEWIO. W-Why, aww the ^.^ boys i-in Venyice fowwow him, -Cwying, his *looks at you* stonyes, ^-^ his daughtew, and his ducats. -SOWANyIO. Wet good Antonyio wook h-he keep his d-day, -Ow he shaww x3 pay fow this. -SAWEWIO. Mawwy, w-weww w-wememb'wed; -I weason'd *screams* with *cries* a Fwenchman y-yestewday, -Who towd me, in the nyawwow *giggles shyly* seas >w< that pawt -The Fwench and Engwish, thewe miscawwied -*notices bulge* A vessew of ouw countwy wichwy fwaught. -I thought upon Antonyio when he towd me, -And wish'd in siwence that ^w^ it wewe n-nyot his. -*leans over* SOWANyIO. You wewe best to teww Antonyio what *giggles shyly* you *teleports behind you* heaw; -Yet do nyot s-suddenwy, fow i-it may gwieve him. -*hugs tightly* SAWEWIO. A *teleports behind you* kindew gentweman tweads nyot the eawth. -I saw Bassanyio and Antonyio pawt. -Bassanyio t-towd him he wouwd *leans over* make some speed -Of his wetuwn. *cries* He answewed 'Do nyot UwU so; -Swubbew nyot businyess fow my sake, Bassanyio, -But >_> stay the vewy wiping o-of the time; -A-And fow the Jew's bond *cuddles you* which h-he *giggles shyly* hath of m-me, -Wet it nyot *teleports behind you* entew in youw mind of wove; -Be mewwy, and empwoy youw chiefest thoughts -To couwtship, and ^w^ such faiw ostents o-of w-wove -As shaww convenyientwy become you t-thewe.' -And x3 even thewe, his eye being big *hugs tightly* with teaws, -Tuwnying his *moans* face, he >_> put his h-hand behind him, -And with affection wondwous sensibwe -He wwung Bassanyio's hand; and s-so they pawted. -SOWANyIO. I think he onwy woves *notices bulge* the wowwd fow >w< him. -I pway thee, w-wet u-us go and find him o-out, -UwU And quicken his embwaced *screams* heavinyess -With some dewight ow othew. -SAWEWIO. Do we so. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE IX. -:33 Bewmont. POWTIA'S house - -Entew NyEWISSA, and a-a SEWVITOW - -NyEWISSA. Quick, q-quick, I-I pway uWu thee, dwaw t-the cuwtain stwaight; -T-The Pwince of *screams* Awwagon hath ta'en h-his oath, -And comes to his ewection OwO pwesentwy. - -Fwouwish of cownyets. ^.^ Entew the P-PWINCE OF AWWAGON, -*looks away* POWTIA, *notices bulge* and *blushes* theiw twains - -*giggles shyly* POWTIA. Behowd, *moans* thewe stand the c-caskets, nyobwe >_> Pwince. -If you choose that whewein I *cuddles you* am contain'd, -S-Stwaight shaww ouw nyuptiaw wites be sowemnyiz'd; -But if you faiw, without mowe speech, my wowd, -You must be gonye fwom hence immediatewy. -AWWAGON. I-I am enjoin'd *teleports behind you* by o-oath to o-obsewve thwee things: -F-Fiwst, nyevew to unfowd to a-any onye -*screams* Which casket 'twas I UwU chose; nyext, i-if I faiw -Of the wight casket, nyevew in my wife -To woo a-a maid x3 in ^w^ way of mawwiage; -*sweats* Wastwy, -I-If I do faiw in fowtunye of my choice, -Immediatewy to weave you ;;w;; and be gonye. -*cuddles you* POWTIA. T-To these injunctions evewy o-onye doth sweaw -That comes to hazawd fow my wowthwess s-sewf. -AWWAGON. And so have I *cries* addwess'd me. Fowtunye nyow -To my heawt's hope! *pokes you* Gowd, siwvew, and base wead. -'Who chooseth me must UwU give and hazawd aww *shuffles closer* he hath.' -You shaww wook f-faiwew ewe I give ow hazawd. -*giggles shyly* What says the gowden chest? Ha! w-wet *looks at you* me see: -'Who chooseth me shaww gain w-what many men ^.^ desiwe.' -What many men d-desiwe- that 'many' may b-be meant -*shuffles closer* By the f-foow muwtitude, t-that choose by show, -Nyot weawnying mowe *cries* than the fond eye doth teach; -^.^ Which pwies nyot to th' intewiow, but, wike t-the :33 mawtwet, -*looks away* Buiwds in the weathew on the o-outwawd waww, -Even in the uWu fowce and woad of casuawty. -I wiww >_< nyot choose what many men desiwe, -Because I wiww nyot jump with common s-spiwits -And uWu wank me with the bawbawous UwU muwtitudes. -Why, then to thee, thou siwvew tweasuwe-house! -Teww me once mowe w-what titwe thou dost beaw. -'Who chooseth me shaww get as OwO much as he *shuffles closer* desewves.' -A-And weww xDD said *notices bulge* too; fow who shaww go about -To cozen fowtunye, and be >_< honyouwabwe -Without the stamp of mewit? Wet nyonye pwesume -To w-weaw an u-undesewved dignyity. -O t-that estates, degwees, and offices, -Wewe nyot dewiv'd cowwuptwy, and *shuffles closer* that cweaw h-honyouw -xDD Wewe p-puwchas'd by the *screams* mewit of >w< the weawew! -How many then shouwd c-covew that stand b-bawe! -How many *hugs tightly* be commanded that c-command! -How >w< much wow peasantwy wouwd then b-be gweanyed -Fwom the twue seed of honyouw! and *hugs tightly* how much *twerks* honyouw -Pick'd fwom the chaff and >_> wuin of the >_< times, -To be nyew vawnyish'd! Weww, but to m-my choice. -'Who *looks away* chooseth me s-shaww get as much as h-he ^-^ desewves.' -I wiww *pokes you* assume desewt. Give me a key xDD fow t-this, -And instantwy unwock my fowtunyes hewe. -[He opens >_< the siwvew >w< casket] -POWTIA. [Aside] Too wong UwU a pause fow t-that which you find thewe. -A-AWWAGON. W-What's hewe? The powtwait o-of a bwinking idiot -Pwesenting me a scheduwe! I-I wiww wead it. -How much unwike awt thou to *cries* Powtia! -How much unwike my hopes x3 and *shuffles closer* my desewvings! -'Who chooseth me s-shaww *looks away* have as much as he desewves.' -Did *sweats* I desewve nyo mowe than a-a *moans* foow's head? -Is that m-my pwize? Awe my desewts nyo bettew? -POWTIA. T-To offend and ^.^ judge awe distinct offices -And *pokes you* of opposed nyatuwes. -AWWAGON. What uWu is hewe? [Weads] - -'The fiwe seven *looks at you* times twied this; -*looks at you* Seven t-times twied that judgment *sighs* is -*screams* That did nyevew choose amiss. -S-Some thewe be that >w< shadows kiss, -S-Such have *pokes you* but *cries* a *looks at you* shadow's b-bwiss. -Thewe >_> be foows ^w^ awive iwis -Siwvew'd o'ew, a-and so was this. -Take w-what wife you w-wiww t-to bed, -I w-wiww evew be youw h-head. -So be uWu gonye; you awe sped.' - -Stiww mowe foow I shaww appeaw -By the time I wingew hewe. -With onye foow's head I came to woo, -But I *screams* go *twerks* away with *leans over* two. -Sweet, adieu! *shuffles closer* I'ww keep my o-oath, -Patientwy *giggles shyly* to beaw my wwoth. Exit with his :33 twain - -POWTIA. Thus hath the candwe sing'd the moth. -O-O, these dewibewate foows! When they do choose, -They h-have t-the wisdom by theiw wit to wose. -NyEWISSA. The ancient saying is nyo hewesy: -Hanging a-and wiving g-goes by destiny. -POWTIA. Come, dwaw the c-cuwtain, Nyewissa. - -Entew UwU a SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. ^w^ Whewe is my wady? -:3 POWTIA. Hewe; what wouwd *twerks* my wowd? -SEWVANT. M-Madam, thewe i-is awighted a-at youw g-gate -A y-young Venyetian, onye that comes befowe -To signyify th' appwoaching of his wowd, -*notices bulge* Fwom whom *screams* he b-bwingeth sensibwe wegweets; -To wit, besides commends *twerks* and couwteous bweath, -Gifts o-of w-wich x3 vawue. Yet I have *moans* nyot *looks at you* seen -So wikewy a-an ambassadow of ^-^ wove. -A day in Apwiw n-nyevew came so sweet -To show how costwy s-summew x3 was at hand -As this fowe-spuwwew comes befowe his x3 wowd. -POWTIA. xDD Nyo mowe, I pway thee; I UwU am hawf afeawd -Thou *blushes* wiwt say a-anyon >_> he i-is some k-kin to thee, -Thou spend'st such high-day wit in p-pwaising him. -Come, xDD come, Nyewissa, fow I >w< wong to *looks away* see -Quick Cupid's post that comes *teleports behind you* so m-mannyewwy. -NyEWISSA. Bassanyio, ^-^ Wowd Wove, if thy wiww *screams* it b-be! Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-III. SCENyE I-I. -*pokes you* Venyice. A stweet - -Entew S-SOWANyIO and SAWEWIO - -SOWANyIO. Nyow, what nyews on the W-Wiawto? -SAWEWIO. Why, yet it wives thewe uncheck'd that Antonyio hath a ship -of wich wading wweck'd on the nyawwow :33 seas; the Goodwins I t-think -they caww the :33 pwace, a vewy dangewous fwat a-and fataw, whewe t-the -cawcases of many a t-taww ship wie buwied, as they say, if m-my -gossip Wepowt be an h-honyest woman of hew wowd. -SOWANyIO. I wouwd *cuddles you* she wewe as wying a g-gossip in that as evew >_> knyapp'd -gingew ow made h-hew nyeighbouws bewieve she *pokes you* wept uWu fow the death of a -thiwd husband. But it is uWu twue, without any swips ^.^ of pwowixity ow -cwossing t-the pwain h-highway of tawk, that the good Antonyio, the -*giggles shyly* honyest Antonyio- O that I had a-a *twerks* titwe *shuffles closer* good enyough to keep his nyame -company!- -OwO SAWEWIO. Come, :3 the fuww stop. -SOWANyIO. Ha! What *looks at you* sayest thou? Why, t-the e-end i-is, x3 he hath wost a -s-ship. -SAWEWIO. :33 I wouwd i-it might pwove the end *sweats* of his wosses. -SOWANyIO. Wet *cries* me say amen betimes, west the deviw c-cwoss my pwayew, -*looks away* fow hewe he comes *looks away* in *shuffles closer* the wikenyess of a Jew. - -Entew SHYWOCK - -^w^ How nyow, Shywock? What nyews among the mewchants? ->w< SHYWOCK. You k-knyew, nyonye s-so weww, nyonye *hugs tightly* so weww as you, of *blushes* my -daughtew's fwight. -S-SAWEWIO. That's cewtain; I, fow my *moans* pawt, knyew the taiwow that made -the wings she fwew *hugs tightly* withaw. -SOWANyIO. And Shywock, fow his own pawt, knyew the biwd w-was >w< fwidge; -and then it is the compwexion of them aww to weave the dam. -*leans over* SHYWOCK. She is damn'd fow it. -S-SAWEWIO. That's cewtain, if the deviw may be hew judge. -SHYWOCK. *hugs tightly* My own fwesh and bwood to webew! -*giggles shyly* SOWANyIO. Out upon it, o-owd cawwion! Webews it *looks away* at these yeaws? -SHYWOCK. I-I say my daughtew is my fwesh and my bwood. -SAWEWIO. Thewe is uWu mowe diffewence between t-thy fwesh and hews than -between jet and ivowy; mowe *twerks* between youw *looks away* bwoods than thewe OwO is -between wed winye and W-Whenyish. But teww *looks away* us, xDD do y-you heaw whethew -A-Antonyio have had any woss at sea ow nyo? -SHYWOCK. OwO Thewe I have anyothew bad match: a b-bankwupt, a pwodigaw, -w-who *pokes you* dawe scawce show his head on the Wiawto; a beggaw, that was -u-us'd to come so smug upon the ^.^ mawt. Wet him w-wook OwO to his bond. He -was wont *sighs* to caww me usuwew; wet him wook to his *hugs tightly* bond. He w-was wont -to wend monyey fow a Chwistian couwtesy; wet him wook to his bond. -S-SAWEWIO. W-Why, I am suwe, if he *cries* fowfeit, thou wiwt nyot take his -f-fwesh. What's ^w^ that good fow? -SHYWOCK. To :33 bait fish withaw. If it wiww *blushes* feed nyothing ewse, it wiww -feed my uWu wevenge. He h-hath disgwac'd me and hind'wed me hawf >_< a -miwwion; waugh'd at my *pokes you* wosses, mock'd at my gains, scownyed my -nyation, thwawted my bawgains, coowed my fwiends, heated minye -enyemies. *cries* And w-what's his weason? *pokes you* I am a Jew. H-Hath nyot a Jew eyes? -Hath nyot *giggles shyly* a Jew hands, o-owgans, dimensions, senses, >w< affections, -passions, *cries* fed with the same f-food, huwt with the same weapons, -subject to the same d-diseases, heawed by the same means, wawmed -:3 and coowed by the same wintew and summew, as a Chwistian is? *giggles shyly* If -you pwick us, do we nyot bweed? If you tickwe us, *cries* do *looks away* we nyot *screams* waugh? -*looks at you* If you ^-^ poison us, do we n-nyot d-die? And if you wwong u-us, shaww w-we -nyot wevenge? If we awe wike you in the west, we wiww wesembwe you -in that. I-If a *looks away* Jew wwong a Chwistian, uWu what i-is his humiwity? -Wevenge. *screams* If a Chwistian wwong a Jew, what shouwd his *twerks* suffewance -be by *giggles shyly* Chwistian exampwe? W-Why, wevenge. The viwwainy you t-teach me ->_< I ^.^ wiww execute; and ^w^ itshaww go hawd but I wiww bettew the -instwuction. - -Entew a-a MAN fwom ANTONyIO - -MAN. Gentwemen, my *notices bulge* mastew Antonyio is at his house, *looks away* and desiwes to -speak with *looks at you* you both. -S-SAWEWIO. We h-have been up and ^-^ down to s-seek him. - -Entew TUBAW - -*twerks* SOWANyIO. *cuddles you* Hewe comes anyothew of the twibe; a thiwd x3 cannyot be -m-match'd, unwess t-the deviw x3 himsewf tuwn Jew. -Exeunt SOWANyIO, SAWEWIO, and MAN -SHYWOCK. *sighs* How n-nyow, Tubaw, what nyews fwom Genyoa? Hast thou :33 found my -daughtew? -TUBAW. I often came whewe I did heaw of h-hew, but cannyot f-find hew. -SHYWOCK. Why thewe, thewe, ^.^ thewe, thewe! A diamond gonye, cost me -two thousand ducats in Fwankfowt! The cuwse nyevew feww u-upon ouw -nyation tiww nyow; I-I nyevew fewt it tiww nyow. *hugs tightly* Two thousand ducats in -that, and othew pwecious, pwecious *shuffles closer* jewews. >_< I wouwd m-my daughtew -*cuddles you* wewe dead at my foot, and t-the jewews *looks away* in hew eaw; wouwd she w-wewe -heaws'd at my foot, and the ducats i-in hew coffin! Nyo nyews ^w^ of -them? Why, so- and I *leans over* knyow OwO nyot what's s-spent in UwU the s-seawch. *teleports behind you* Why, -t-thou- >_< woss u-upon woss! The *screams* thief gonye w-with so much, and so much to -^-^ find t-the thief; and *teleports behind you* nyo satisfaction, >w< nyo wevenge; nyow nyo iww wuck -stiwwing but what wights o' my shouwdews; nyo sighs but o' my -bweathing; n-nyo *notices bulge* teaws but o' my shedding! -TUBAW. Y-Yes, o-othew men have iww wuck too: Antonyio, *hugs tightly* as I heawd in -Genyoa- -SHYWOCK. What, what, what? Iww OwO wuck, iww w-wuck? -TUBAW. Hath an awgosy *notices bulge* cast away coming fwom Twipowis. -*notices bulge* SHYWOCK. I thank God, I thank God. Is i-it x3 twue, x3 is it twue? -TUBAW. I spoke with some *hugs tightly* of the saiwows *hugs tightly* that e-escaped *looks at you* the wweck. ->_> SHYWOCK. I thank t-thee, good Tubaw. *cries* Good nyews, good nyews- ha, *twerks* ha!- -heawd i-in Genyoa. -TUBAW. Youw daughtew spent in Genyoa, as *shuffles closer* I heawd, o-onye nyight, -fouwscowe ducats. -S-SHYWOCK. Thou >_< stick'st a daggew in m-me- I shaww nyevew see my OwO gowd -again. Fouwscowe ducats at a sitting! Fouwscowe ducats! -*cries* TUBAW. Thewe came divews of Antonyio's *blushes* cweditows in my >w< company t-to -Venyice that sweaw he c-cannyot *sweats* choose b-but bweak. -*screams* SHYWOCK. I x3 am vewy gwad of it; I'ww pwague him, I'ww towtuwe :3 him; I -am gwad o-of it. -TUBAW. Onye of t-them showed me a wing t-that x3 he had of y-youw daughtew -f-fow *twerks* a monkey. -SHYWOCK. Out upon hew! T-Thou towtuwest me, T-Tubaw. It *hugs tightly* was my -t-tuwquoise; I had it of Weah w-when I was a-a bachewow; I w-wouwd *screams* nyot -have given it fow a wiwdewnyess of monkeys. -TUBAW. But Antonyio is cewtainwy undonye. -SHYWOCK. Nyay, that's twue; that's vewy twue. Go, Tubaw, fee me an -officew; ;;w;; bespeak him a-a fowtnyight befowe. I wiww have *notices bulge* the *leans over* heawt of -him, if he fowfeit; fow, wewe he o-out of >_< Venyice, I can make >_< what -mewchandise I :33 wiww. Go, Tubaw, and meet me at ouw s-synyagogue; go, -good Tubaw; at ouw s-synyagogue, Tubaw. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Bewmont. POWTIA'S house - -Entew *hugs tightly* BASSANyIO, POWTIA, GWATIANyO, NyEWISSA, and aww theiw twains - -POWTIA. I pway you tawwy; pause a day ow two -*pokes you* Befowe you hazawd; fow, in choosing wwong, -I wose y-youw company; thewefowe fowbeaw a whiwe. -Thewe's s-something t-tewws me- but it is nyot *pokes you* wove- -I wouwd nyot wose you; and you knyow youwsewf -H-Hate c-counsews n-nyot *sweats* in such a q-quawity. -But xDD west y-you shouwd nyot *notices bulge* undewstand me x3 weww- -And yet a maiden hath nyo tongue b-but t-thought- -I w-wouwd detain you hewe some month *cries* ow two -Befowe you ventuwe fow me. I couwd teach you -How t-to ^.^ choose wight, but then I am f-fowswown; -So wiww I *notices bulge* nyevew be; so may y-you miss me; -But if you do, you'ww x3 make m-me wish a sin, -That >_> I OwO had ;;w;; been fowswown. Beshwew youw eyes! -They have o'ewwook'd me and divided me; -O-Onye hawf :3 of me is youws, the othew hawf youws- -Minye own, I wouwd say; b-but if *sweats* minye, t-then youws, -And so aww youws. O! these nyaughty times -Puts *cuddles you* baws between the ownyews and theiw wights; -And so, though youws, nyot youws. Pwove i-it so, -Wet fowtunye *twerks* go >_< to heww fow it, nyot I-I. -I speak too wong, uWu but 'tis to peize the time, -To eke it, and t-to dwaw it out i-in *sighs* wength, -To stay you fwom ewection. -B-BASSANyIO. W-Wet me c-choose; -Fow as I a-am, I wive *shuffles closer* upon the OwO wack. -POWTIA. Upon the wack, Bassanyio? Then c-confess -UwU What tweason xDD thewe is mingwed :33 with youw w-wove. -BASSANyIO. Nyonye but OwO that ugwy tweason of mistwust -Which makes me feaw th' enjoying of my wove; -Thewe may as w-weww be amity and wife -*shuffles closer* 'Tween s-snyow and fiwe as tweason and *blushes* my *pokes you* wove. -POWTIA. uWu Ay, but I f-feaw you speak upon xDD the wack, -W-Whewe men enfowced do speak anything. -B-BASSANyIO. Pwomise me *looks away* wife, and I'ww confess the twuth. -POWTIA. Weww then, confess and wive. -BASSANyIO. 'Confess' and '-'wove' -Had been the vewy s-sum of m-my ;;w;; confession. -O h-happy towment, *pokes you* when my *shuffles closer* towtuwew -Doth teach *sighs* me answews f-fow d-dewivewance! -But wet me t-to my fowtunye and the caskets. -P-POWTIA. Away, then; I am wock'd i-in onye o-of them. -*hugs tightly* If you *leans over* do wove me, you wiww find me out. -^.^ Nyewissa and the west, *notices bulge* stand aww awoof; -Wet music sound whiwe he doth make h-his *sighs* choice; -Then, if he wose, he makes a swan-wike end, -Fading in music. That t-the :3 compawison -May stand mowe pwopew, my eye shaww be t-the stweam -And wat'wy death-bed fow him. He may win; -A-And what *screams* is music then? Then music is -Even as t-the fwouwish when twue subjects bow -*twerks* To a nyew-cwownyed monyawch; such it is -As awe those duwcet s-sounds in bweak of *pokes you* day -That cweep into >_< the dweaming bwidegwoom's eaw -And summon *sweats* him to *cuddles you* mawwiage. Nyow he goes, -With *teleports behind you* nyo wess *cuddles you* pwesence, but with much *sighs* mowe wove, -T-Than *cries* young Awcides when he did wedeem -The viwgin twibute paid by howwing T-Twoy -T-To t-the sea-monstew. I stand ^w^ fow sacwifice; -The west awoof awe the *looks away* Dawdanyian wives, -*moans* With xDD bweawed visages come fowth to view -T-The *notices bulge* issue of th' expwoit. Go, Hewcuwes! -Wive thou, I wive. With much m-much mowe dismay -I view the fight >_> than thou that *sweats* mak'st the fway. - -A SONG - -t-the whiwst BASSANyIO comments on the caskets to himsewf - -Teww me ;;w;; whewe *screams* is fancy b-bwed, -Ow uWu in the heawt ow i-in the head, -H-How begot, *shuffles closer* how nyouwished? -W-Wepwy, wepwy. -It *screams* is engend'wed in the eyes, -*notices bulge* With gazing fed; and fancy dies -In the cwadwe whewe it w-wies. -Wet *sweats* us aww wing fancy's knyeww: -*screams* I'ww begin it- Ding, dong, b-beww. -AWW. D-Ding, d-dong, beww. - -BASSANyIO. So may the outwawd shows be *looks at you* weast themsewves; -The wowwd is stiww d-deceiv'd with ownyament. -In waw, what pwea *cries* so tainted a-and cowwupt -But, b-being season'd with a gwacious voice, -Obscuwes the show UwU of eviw? In wewigion, -What damnyed ewwow but some sobew bwow -Wiww >_> bwess it, and ^w^ appwove i-it *notices bulge* with a text, -Hiding the gwossnyess with faiw ownyament? -Thewe is nyo *notices bulge* vice so simpwe b-but assumes -Some m-mawk of viwtue on *blushes* his outwawd pawts. -How many cowawds, whose heawts awe aww as fawse -As staiws of sand, w-weaw yet *looks away* upon theiw c-chins -The beawds of UwU Hewcuwes and fwownying Maws; -^.^ Who, inwawd s-seawch'd, have wivews white as m-miwk! -And these assume but vawouw's excwement -To wendew them wedoubted. Wook on beauty -And you shaww see 'tis p-puwchas'd by the weight, -Which thewein wowks a m-miwacwe in nyatuwe, -Making *teleports behind you* them w-wightest that *twerks* weaw ^-^ most *leans over* of it; -So awe those c-cwisped snyaky gowden wocks -Which make *moans* such *screams* wanton gambows with the *shuffles closer* wind -Upon supposed faiwnyess often knyown -T-To be the *twerks* dowwy of a second head- -The s-skuww that bwed them in the s-sepuwchwe. -uWu Thus ownyament is but the guiwed showe -To *pokes you* a most dangewous sea; the beauteous scawf -Veiwing an Indian beauty; in a wowd, -The seeming t-twuth which cunnying times put on -To e-entwap the *pokes you* wisest. *cries* Thewefowe, thou *giggles shyly* gaudy gowd, -:33 Hawd food f-fow Midas, I w-wiww nyonye of thee; -N-Nyow nyonye of thee, *hugs tightly* thou p-pawe and common dwudge -*sweats* 'Tween man a-and man; b-but thou, thou meagwe wead, -Which wathew thweaten'st than dost pwomise aught, -Thy pwainnyess moves me mowe than ewoquence, -And hewe choose *screams* I. Joy be *teleports behind you* the consequence! -POWTIA. *teleports behind you* [Aside] How aww the o-othew passions fweet to aiw, -x3 As doubtfuw thoughts, and :3 wash-embwac'd despaiw, -And shudd'wing feaw, and gween-ey'd jeawousy! -:33 O wove, be modewate, *leans over* awway thy ecstasy, -*sweats* In measuwe wain t-thy joy, scant this excess! -I feew too m-much thy bwessing. Make it w-wess, -Fow *looks away* feaw I suwfeit. -BASSANyIO. [Openying t-the weaden casket] What find I hewe? -*giggles shyly* Faiw Powtia's *cries* countewfeit! What d-demi-god -Hath come so nyeaw cweation? Move these *looks at you* eyes? -Ow whethew widing o-on the bawws of m-minye -Seem they in motion? H-Hewe awe >w< sevew'd wips, -Pawted w-with sugaw bweath; *looks at you* so sweet a baw -Shouwd s-sundew such sweet fwiends. H-Hewe in hew *teleports behind you* haiws -*shuffles closer* The paintew pways the s-spidew, and hath woven -A gowden mesh t' e-entwap the heawts of men -Fastew than gnyats i-in cobwebs. *twerks* But hew uWu eyes- -How *shuffles closer* couwd he see to do them? Having m-made onye, -Methinks *giggles shyly* it shouwd have powew to steaw both his, -A-And w-weave itsewf ;;w;; unfuwnyish'd. Yet wook how faw -The substance of my pwaise doth wwong this shadow -I-In undewpwizing *looks away* it, :33 so faw t-this shadow -Doth wimp behind the substance. >w< Hewe's the scwoww, -The continyent *twerks* and summawy of m-my fowtunye. -'You that UwU choose nyot by t-the view, -Chance *pokes you* as faiw and *blushes* choose as t-twue! -Since t-this fowtunye fawws t-to you, -^.^ Be content and seek nyo nyew. -If you be weww *sweats* pweas'd with this, -And howd y-youw fowtunye fow youw b-bwiss, -Tuwn to whewe youw >w< wady is -And cwaim hew with a woving kiss.' -A ;;w;; gentwe scwoww. Faiw wady, by youw weave; -I come by nyote, to give :3 and to weceive. -Wike onye of two contending in *looks at you* a pwize, -T-That t-thinks he :33 hath donye weww in peopwe's *cuddles you* eyes, -H-Heawing appwause and unyivewsaw shout, -Giddy in spiwit, stiww gazing i-in a doubt -Whethew those x3 peaws *sighs* of OwO pwaise b-be his ^.^ ow nyo; -So, thwice-faiw *screams* wady, *pokes you* stand I even so, -As doubtfuw whethew what I see be >_< twue, -Untiw confiwm'd, s-sign'd, watified *moans* by y-you. -POWTIA. You see me, *pokes you* Wowd B-Bassanyio, whewe I s-stand, -Such as I am. Though fow mysewf awonye -I wouwd nyot be ambitious in my wish -To w-wish mysewf UwU much bettew, y-yet fow you -I-I wouwd be twebwed twenty times mysewf, -A thousand times mowe faiw, ten thousand times m-mowe wich, -T-That onwy to >_> stand *moans* high in xDD youw account -I might in viwtues, b-beauties, wivings, *teleports behind you* fwiends, -Exceed account. But the :33 fuww sum of me -Is s-sum *sighs* of something which, to tewm in gwoss, -Is an unwesson'd giww, unschoow'd, unpwactis'd; -Happy in this, she is nyot yet so owd -OwO But s-she may weawn; happiew than this, -She is nyot bwed so ;;w;; duww but she can weawn; -Happiest of aww is that h-hew gentwe spiwit ->_< Commits i-itsewf >_> to youws x3 to :33 be :3 diwected, -As fwom hew wowd, h-hew govewnyow, hew k-king. -M-Mysewf and what *sighs* is m-minye *sighs* to you and youws -I-Is nyow convewted. But nyow I was the wowd -Of this faiw m-mansion, mastew of x3 my sewvants, -Queen o'ew m-mysewf; and even nyow, but nyow, -This house, x3 these sewvants, and this ^.^ same mysewf, -Awe youws- my wowd's. I give them with uWu this wing, -Which when you pawt fwom, wose, ow give *screams* away, -Wet i-it pwesage the w-wuin *cries* of *giggles shyly* youw wove, -And ^.^ be my vantage to excwaim on you. -BASSANyIO. Madam, ^.^ you have b-beweft me of aww *sweats* wowds; -*giggles shyly* Onwy my bwood speaks >_> to y-you in my v-veins; -;;w;; And thewe is such confusion in *notices bulge* my *moans* powews -As, aftew some >w< owation faiwwy s-spoke -By a bewoved pwince, thewe doth appeaw -Among the buzzing pweased muwtitude, -Whewe e-evewy something, being bwent togethew, -Tuwns to a-a wiwd of nyothing, save x3 of joy -Expwess'd and *leans over* nyot *cuddles you* expwess'd. But when t-this wing -Pawts >_> fwom this f-fingew, then *screams* pawts wife xDD fwom hence; -O, then be bowd to say Bassanyio's dead! -NyEWISSA. My *pokes you* wowd and wady, it is nyow ouw time -*moans* That h-have stood by and seen ouw wishes pwospew -T-To c-cwy 'Good joy.' Good joy, OwO my wowd and wady! -GWATIANyO. ^.^ My Wowd ;;w;; Bassanyio, and my gentwe *looks away* wady, -I wish you aww the joy that y-you can wish, -*blushes* Fow I am OwO suwe y-you can wish *cries* nyonye fwom me; -And, when youw uWu honyouws mean to sowemnyize -The bawgain o-of youw f-faith, I-I xDD do beseech you -xDD Even at t-that t-time I may be mawwied *looks at you* too. -*looks at you* BASSANyIO. With a-aww my h-heawt, so ^w^ thou canst *sweats* get a wife. -GWATIANyO. I thank youw wowdship, you h-have got me onye. -M-My eyes, my wowd, *blushes* can wook as swift as y-youws: ->_< You saw the *teleports behind you* mistwess, I >_> behewd the maid; -You x3 wov'd, *notices bulge* I wov'd; fow intewmission -*cries* Nyo >w< mowe pewtains to m-me, my wowd, than you. -Y-Youw fowtunye s-stood ^.^ upon the caskets thewe, -And so did minye t-too, *cuddles you* as t-the mattew fawws; -Fow wooing hewe untiw I sweat again, -And xDD sweawing tiww my vewy uWu woof w-was dwy -W-With oaths of w-wove, at wast- if pwomise OwO wast- -I *hugs tightly* got *giggles shyly* a p-pwomise of UwU this faiw *twerks* onye *leans over* hewe -To have h-hew *sweats* wove, p-pwovided that youw fowtunye -A-Achiev'd h-hew m-mistwess. -POWTIA. Is this *sweats* twue, Nyewissa? -OwO NyEWISSA. M-Madam, it is, so you stand pweas'd withaw. -BASSANyIO. And d-do you, Gwatianyo, mean good faith? -GWATIANyO. Yes, faith, my *sighs* wowd. -BASSANyIO. Ouw *sweats* feast shaww be much honyouwed in youw mawwiage. -GWATIANyO. We'ww p-pway with :3 them: the f-fiwst boy fow a thousand -ducats. -NyEWISSA. What, and stake down? -G-GWATIANyO. Nyo; we shaww nye'ew w-win at that spowt, and stake down- -B-But who comes hewe? Wowenzo a-and his infidew? -What, and my owd Venyetian fwiend, *sighs* Sawewio! - -Entew WOWENZO, J-JESSICA, and SAWEWIO, a messengew -fwom *notices bulge* Venyice - -BASSANyIO. UwU Wowenzo and Sawewio, wewcome hithew, -If that the youth of *cries* my nyew int'west hewe -:33 Have *looks away* powew *giggles shyly* to bid you *notices bulge* wewcome. By youw weave, -I bid *shuffles closer* my vewy fwiends and *teleports behind you* countwymen, -Sweet Powtia, wewcome. -POWTIA. *notices bulge* So d-do I, my :3 wowd; -They a-awe entiwewy wewcome. -WOWENZO. *notices bulge* I thank youw honyouw. :33 Fow my pawt, uWu my wowd, -My puwpose was *screams* nyot *hugs tightly* to have seen you hewe; -But meeting with *cuddles you* Sawewio by the way, -He *cries* did entweat me, past UwU aww s-saying n-nyay, -To come with him awong. -^.^ SAWEWIO. I did, *looks at you* my wowd, -*looks at you* And I h-have weason fow *pokes you* it. Signyiow Antonyio -Commends him to y-you. [Gives BASSANyIO a *cries* wettew] -;;w;; BASSANyIO. Ewe I *cries* ope his wettew, -I-I pway you teww me how my >w< good f-fwiend doth. -SAWEWIO. Nyot sick, my w-wowd, unwess ^w^ it be in mind; -*twerks* Nyow weww, unwess i-in mind; his wettew thewe -Wiww show you ^-^ his estate. [BASSANyIO >_< opens the wettew] -G-GWATIANyO. Nyewissa, cheew y-yond x3 stwangew; bid hew wewcome. -Youw hand, Sawewio. What's the nyews fwom Venyice? -How doth that woyaw mewchant, *notices bulge* good Antonyio? -I k-knyow he wiww be gwad o-of ouw success: -We awe the Jasons, we *teleports behind you* have won the fweece. -SAWEWIO. I wouwd y-you *hugs tightly* had won the fweece t-that he hath w-wost. -POWTIA. Thewe awe some shwewd contents in yond same p-papew -That steaws t-the cowouw fwom *hugs tightly* Bassanyio's cheek: -Some deaw fwiend dead, ewse nyothing in the wowwd -Couwd tuwn so m-much the c-constitution -Of any constant man. What, wowse and wowse! -With weave, Bassanyio: I am hawf youwsewf, -And I must fweewy have the hawf of anything -That this same papew b-bwings you. -BASSANyIO. O *screams* sweet Powtia, -Hewe awe a few of t-the unpweasant'st wowds -That e-evew bwotted *teleports behind you* papew! Gentwe wady, -When I did fiwst i-impawt m-my *notices bulge* wove to y-you, -*giggles shyly* I >_< fweewy towd you a-aww the weawth I had -Wan in my veins- I was *cries* a gentweman; -And then I towd y-you t-twue. And y-yet, deaw w-wady, -Wating mysewf at nyothing, you shaww see -How much I was a bwaggawt. *sweats* When I towd you -My state *screams* was nyothing, I *cuddles you* shouwd then have towd you -That I was *sighs* wowse than nyothing; fow i-indeed -I have engag'd m-mysewf to a d-deaw fwiend, -Engag'd m-my fwiend *teleports behind you* to his *notices bulge* mewe enyemy, -To feed *notices bulge* my m-means. H-Hewe *moans* is a w-wettew, wady, -The papew as the *looks at you* body of my *twerks* fwiend, -And evewy wowd in i-it a gaping *hugs tightly* wound -Issuing wife-bwood. B-But is :33 it twue, Sawewio? -Hath aww his v-ventuwes f-faiw'd? What, n-nyot onye hit? -Fwom Twipowis, fwom *blushes* Mexico, and E-Engwand, -^-^ Fwom Wisbon, UwU Bawbawy, and I-India, -And nyot onye vessew *sighs* scape *twerks* the dweadfuw touch -O-Of *teleports behind you* mewchant-mawwing w-wocks? -SAWEWIO. Nyot >_> onye, my >w< wowd. -B-Besides, i-it shouwd appeaw that, if he had -The p-pwesent m-monyey to d-dischawge x3 the J-Jew, -He wouwd nyot take it. Nyevew d-did I knyow -A c-cweatuwe that did beaw *looks at you* the shape of man -So *hugs tightly* keen and g-gweedy to ^w^ confound a man. -He pwies t-the D-Duke at m-mownying and at nyight, -And d-doth impeach *sighs* the >_> fweedom *looks away* of the *cuddles you* state, -If ^.^ they deny him justice. T-Twenty m-mewchants, -The Duke himsewf, and the magnyificoes -Of gweatest powt, have a-aww pewsuaded with him; -But n-nyonye c-can dwive him fwom the envious p-pwea -Of fowfeituwe, of j-justice, and UwU his bond. -JESSICA. W-When I was with him, I have h-heawd him sweaw -To Tubaw and t-to Chus, h-his countwymen, -^-^ That he wouwd ^.^ wathew have A-Antonyio's fwesh -Than twenty times the vawue of the sum -That he did owe him; and I *hugs tightly* knyow, >w< my uWu wowd, -If waw, authowity, and powew, deny nyot, -It wiww go hawd w-with poow Antonyio. -POWTIA. Is it youw *teleports behind you* deaw *looks at you* fwiend that i-is ^-^ thus in t-twoubwe? -BASSANyIO. The d-deawest fwiend to me, the kindest man, -The best condition'd a-and unweawied spiwit -In doing couwtesies; and *screams* onye in :33 whom -T-The ancient Woman honyouw m-mowe uWu appeaws -Than >_> any that dwaws bweath in Itawy. -uWu POWTIA. What x3 sum owes he t-the J-Jew? -BASSANyIO. Fow me, thwee xDD thousand d-ducats. -POWTIA. What! nyo *blushes* mowe? -Pay him six t-thousand, and deface the b-bond; -Doubwe ;;w;; six thousand, and then twebwe that, -Befowe a-a fwiend of this descwiption -Shaww wose a haiw thwough *twerks* Bassanyio's fauwt. -Fiwst go with m-me to chuwch a-and caww me wife, -And then away to Venyice to OwO youw fwiend; -Fow nyevew shaww you wie xDD by :3 Powtia's side -With an *giggles shyly* unquiet souw. *leans over* You *shuffles closer* shaww have gowd -To ;;w;; pay the *notices bulge* petty debt twenty times ovew. -W-When >_< it is p-paid, bwing youw ;;w;; twue fwiend *sweats* awong. -My maid Nyewissa and mysewf m-meantime -Wiww w-wive as m-maids and widows. Come, away; -*shuffles closer* Fow you shaww *cuddles you* hence upon youw *sighs* wedding day. -Bid youw fwiends wewcome, show a mewwy cheew; -Since *blushes* you awe deaw bought, I wiww wove you ^.^ deaw. -But w-wet m-me heaw the wettew of youw fwiend. -B-BASSANyIO. [Weads] '-'Sweet Bassanyio, m-my ships have aww miscawwied, -my xDD cweditows gwow cwuew, my estate is >_< vewy wow, m-my *blushes* bond to the -Jew is fowfeit; and since, in paying i-it, it is impossibwe I -shouwd wive, aww d-debts awe cweaw'd between you and *sweats* I, if I might -but see you at my death. Nyotwithstanding, use youw pweasuwe; if -y-youw wove do nyot p-pewsuade you to c-come, wet *shuffles closer* nyot my wettew.' -POWTIA. O wove, dispatch aww businyess x3 and be gonye! -BASSANyIO. Since I have youw good weave to go *screams* away, -I wiww make haste; but, tiww I-I UwU come again, -Nyo bed s-shaww e'ew be *blushes* guiwty of *cuddles you* my stay, -:3 Nyow west be intewposew 'twixt us twain. *sighs* Exeunt - - - - -*pokes you* SCENyE III. -Venyice. A stweet - -^.^ Entew S-SHYWOCK, SOWANyIO, *twerks* ANTONyIO, OwO and G-GAOWEW - -SHYWOCK. G-Gaowew, wook to him. Teww nyot me of mewcy- -This i-is the *leans over* foow that went out *notices bulge* monyey gwatis. -Gaowew, wook to him. -ANTONyIO. Heaw me *pokes you* yet, good S-Shywock. -^-^ SHYWOCK. I'ww have *giggles shyly* my bond; speak nyot against my b-bond. -I >_> have swown an oath t-that I wiww have my bond. -Thou caww'dst me dog befowe thou hadst ^w^ a cause, -But, since I am a d-dog, bewawe my fangs; -T-The Duke shaww gwant me *pokes you* justice. I do wondew, -Thou nyaughty gaowew, t-that thou awt so fond -To come abwoad with h-him at his wequest. -ANTONyIO. I pway thee h-heaw m-me s-speak. -SHYWOCK. I'ww have my *sweats* bond. I xDD wiww n-nyot heaw thee s-speak; -I-I'ww have my bond; and thewefowe speak nyo mowe. -I'ww nyot be made a soft and d-duww-ey'd *giggles shyly* foow, -To *giggles shyly* shake the head, ;;w;; wewent, and sigh, and yiewd, -T-To Chwistian intewcessows. Fowwow nyot; -I'ww have nyo s-speaking; I-I wiww have my bond. Exit -S-SOWANyIO. It is the most impenyetwabwe cuw -That evew k-kept with men. -A-ANTONyIO. Wet him awonye; -I'ww fowwow him nyo mowe with bootwess p-pwayews. -He s-seeks *shuffles closer* my wife; his weason weww I k-knyow: -I *cries* oft dewivew'd fwom his *giggles shyly* fowfeituwes -Many that have at times made moan to m-me; -Thewefowe *sweats* he hates >w< me. -SOWANyIO. ^-^ I uWu am suwe the *screams* Duke -Wiww nyevew gwant this fowfeituwe to howd. -^w^ ANTONyIO. The Duke cannyot deny t-the couwse o-of waw; -Fow *moans* the ^w^ commodity *moans* that stwangews have -With us in Venyice, if i-it be denyied, -W-Wiww much impeach the justice of t-the state, -^.^ Since that ;;w;; the twade and pwofit of the city -Consisteth of a-aww nyations. Thewefowe, go; -T-These g-gwiefs and wosses have xDD so bated me -That I shaww hawdwy spawe *looks away* a pound of fwesh -To-mowwow to my b-bwoody cweditow. -W-Weww, gaowew, on; pway God Bassanyio come -To s-see me p-pay h-his debt, a-and then I cawe nyot. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Bewmont. POWTIA'S h-house - -Entew P-POWTIA, N-NyEWISSA, WOWENZO, JESSICA, and B-BAWTHASAW - -WOWENZO. Madam, awthough I speak it *looks at you* in youw pwesence, -You have a nyobwe and a-a twue conceit -Of godwike amity, which appeaws most :33 stwongwy -*looks at you* In beawing thus the absence of youw wowd. -But i-if UwU you knyew to whom you show this honyouw, -How twue a gentweman x3 you send wewief, -How deaw ^.^ a wovew o-of my wowd *sighs* youw husband, -I knyow you wouwd *looks at you* be pwoudew of the w-wowk -Than customawy bounty can enfowce y-you. -P-POWTIA. I nyevew did wepent fow doing *notices bulge* good, -Nyow shaww n-nyot nyow; fow in c-companyions -T-That do convewse and *cries* waste *notices bulge* the time t-togethew, -Whose souws do beaw an equaw yoke o-of wove, -*twerks* Thewe m-must >w< be nyeeds a wike pwopowtion -Of uWu winyeaments, of uWu mannyews, a-and of spiwit, -Which makes me think that this Antonyio, -B-Being the bosom wovew *sighs* of my wowd, -Must x3 nyeeds be wike my wowd. If it be s-so, -How wittwe is the cost I h-have bestowed -*shuffles closer* In puwchasing t-the sembwance of *blushes* my *hugs tightly* souw -Fwom *blushes* out the state of *sweats* hewwish cwuewty! -T-This *hugs tightly* comes too nyeaw the pwaising of mysewf; -Thewefowe, nyo mowe of it; heaw othew things. -Wowenzo, I commit into youw hands -The husbandwy a-and manyage of my house -Untiw my wowd's w-wetuwn; fow minye own pawt, -I have towawd heaven b-bweath'd a secwet vow -To wive in p-pwayew and ^w^ contempwation, -Onwy attended by Nyewissa hewe, -Untiw hew husband and my wowd's wetuwn. -Thewe *shuffles closer* is ^.^ a m-monyastewy two miwes off, -And thewe we wiww abide. I do desiwe you -Nyot to *hugs tightly* deny this imposition, -T-The which my wove and s-some *cries* nyecessity -Nyow ways upon you. -:33 WOWENZO. Madam, w-with aww my *looks away* heawt -I shaww obey you in an faiw commands. -POWTIA. My peopwe do awweady knyow my mind, -And wiww acknyowwedge you and Jessica -In xDD pwace of Wowd Bassanyio and mysewf. -So f-fawe you *teleports behind you* weww t-tiww we shaww meet a-again. -WOWENZO. F-Faiw UwU thoughts and h-happy h-houws a-attend on you! -JESSICA. I wish youw wadyship aww heawt's content. -POWTIA. I *looks away* thank *sweats* you uWu fow youw w-wish, and am weww *twerks* pweas'd -To wish it back on you. F-Fawe you weww, Jessica. -Exeunt JESSICA *pokes you* and WOWENZO -Nyow, B-Bawthasaw, -As I have evew found thee honyest-twue, -So w-wet me find thee stiww. Take this same ^.^ wettew, -And u-use thou a-aww uWu th' endeavouw of a-a man -In speed to Padua; see thou wendew this -Into my cousin's hands, *shuffles closer* Doctow Bewwawio; -And *sweats* wook w-what nyotes and gawments *notices bulge* he doth give thee, -*sweats* Bwing t-them, I *sighs* pway thee, with imagin'd speed -Unto the twaject, to the *teleports behind you* common fewwy -Which twades to Venyice. *notices bulge* Waste nyo time in wowds, -*giggles shyly* But get *shuffles closer* thee gonye; I shaww be thewe befowe t-thee. -BAWTHASAW. Madam, I go with aww convenyient speed. Exit -POWTIA. Come on, Nyewissa, I have wowk in hand -That you y-yet knyow nyot of; we'ww see ouw husbands -Befowe they think of us. -NyEWISSA. Shaww they see us? -POWTIA. They shaww, >_> Nyewissa; but in such a habit -That they ^.^ shaww think we a-awe accompwished -With *twerks* that we wack. I-I'ww howd thee a-any wagew, -:33 When we awe b-both accoutwed wike y-young men, -I'ww pwove the pwettiew *giggles shyly* fewwow of the two, -A-And weaw my daggew w-with the bwavew gwace, -And speak between the change of man a-and boy -With a weed voice; and tuwn two mincing steps -Into a manwy stwide; and speak of fways -Wike a finye bwagging youth; and *sweats* teww quaint wies, -How honyouwabwe wadies sought my wove, -Which I denying, they feww *twerks* sick and died- -I c-couwd nyot do withaw. Then I'ww w-wepent, -And ^.^ wish fow aww that, that I-I had UwU nyot kiww'd them. -;;w;; And twenty of these puny wies *cries* I'ww teww, -That >w< men shaww sweaw I have discontinyued schoow -About a twewvemonth. I have *notices bulge* within my mind -A thousand waw t-twicks of >_> these bwagging J-Jacks, -Which I wiww pwactise. -NyEWISSA. Why, shaww we UwU tuwn to m-men? -POWTIA. Fie, what a question's that, -I-If thou wewt nyeaw a wewd intewpwetew! -But come, I'ww teww thee aww my *looks away* whowe OwO device -When I am in my c-coach, OwO which *looks at you* stays fow u-us -At the pawk gate; and uWu thewefowe haste away, -Fow we must measuwe twenty miwes to-day. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V-V. -*hugs tightly* Bewmont. The *sighs* gawden - -Entew W-WAUNCEWOT and JESSICA - -WAUNCEWOT. Yes, twuwy; fow, wook y-you, the sins of the fathew awe to -*sweats* be waid upon UwU the chiwdwen; thewefowe, I pwomise you, I feaw *giggles shyly* you. -I was awways pwain with you, and so nyow I speak my agitation of -t-the mattew; thewefowe be o' good *looks away* cheew, *blushes* fow twuwy I think you awe -^-^ damn'd. Thewe :33 is *cuddles you* but *notices bulge* onye hope in it that can do you any good, a-and -that is but a kind of bastawd UwU hope, n-nyeithew. -JESSICA. A-And what hope is that, *giggles shyly* I pway thee? -WAUNCEWOT. Mawwy, ^.^ you may pawtwy hope that youw *shuffles closer* fathew got you nyot- -that you awe nyot the Jew's ^.^ daughtew. -JESSICA. That wewe a kind of bastawd hope i-indeed; s-so the sins of my -mothew shouwd be visited upon me. -WAUNCEWOT. Twuwy then I feaw *pokes you* you awe damn'd both by >_< fathew and -m-mothew; thus when I-I s-shun :33 Scywwa, youw fathew, I faww into -Chawybdis, youw m-mothew; weww, you awe gonye both ways. -JESSICA. *teleports behind you* I shaww b-be sav'd by >_< my husband; he h-hath made me a -Chwistian. -W-WAUNCEWOT. Twuwy, the mowe t-to bwame he; we wewe ^w^ Chwistians enyow -befowe, e'en as many as couwd uWu weww wive onye by anyothew. This -making uWu of Chwistians wiww w-waise the pwice of hogs; if we gwow aww -to be p-powk-eatews, we shaww nyot showtwy have a-a washew on the -coaws fow monyey. - -Entew WOWENZO - -JESSICA. I'ww OwO teww my husband, Wauncewot, what you say; hewe h-he -comes. -WOWENZO. I shaww gwow jeawous *looks away* of *sighs* you showtwy, Wauncewot, if you -thus get my wife into c-cownyews. -JESSICA. Nyay, you nyeed nyow feaw us, Wowenzo; Wauncewot and I awe -o-out; *shuffles closer* he tewws me fwatwy thewe's nyo mewcy fow me in heaven, -because I-I am a Jew's daughtew; *twerks* and he says you awe *pokes you* nyo g-good membew -of t-the *blushes* commonweawth, fow in convewting Jews to Chwistians you -waise ^.^ the pwice UwU of powk. -WOWENZO. I shaww answew that bettew to the commonweawth than you -can the g-getting up of the nyegwo's bewwy; the ;;w;; Moow i-is w-with chiwd -by you, Wauncewot. -WAUNCEWOT. *pokes you* It is much *looks away* that ^w^ the Moow shouwd be *sighs* mowe than weason; but -if *leans over* she be wess than an *looks away* honyest woman, *cries* she >_> is indeed mowe than I -took hew fow. -WOWENZO. How evewy xDD foow can :33 pway ;;w;; upon the wowd! I think the best -gwace uWu of w-wit w-wiww showtwy tuwn into siwence, *looks away* and discouwse gwow -commendabwe *looks at you* in nyonye onwy but pawwots. Go in, siwwah; bid them -pwepawe *shuffles closer* fow dinnyew. -WAUNCEWOT. That is donye, s-siw; t-they have a-aww stomachs. -WOWENZO. Goodwy Wowd, what a w-wit-snyappew UwU awe you! :33 Then bid them -:3 pwepawe d-dinnyew. -W-WAUNCEWOT. That *looks at you* is donye t-too, siw, onwy 'covew' is the *pokes you* wowd. -WOWENZO. Wiww you covew, then, s-siw? -WAUNCEWOT. Nyot so, siw, nyeithew; I *teleports behind you* knyow my duty. -WOWENZO. Yet m-mowe quawwewwing ^w^ with occasion! Wiwt thou show the -whowe weawth of thy *sweats* wit in an instant? I pway *moans* thee undewstand *giggles shyly* a -pwain m-man in his x3 pwain ^-^ meanying: go to thy fewwows, *sweats* bid them covew -the t-tabwe, uWu sewve in the meat, and we wiww come in to dinnyew. -WAUNCEWOT. F-Fow the tabwe, siw, it shaww be sewv'd *pokes you* in; fow the meat, -siw, it shaww be c-covew'd; fow *cuddles you* youw coming in OwO to dinnyew, siw, why, -wet it be *pokes you* as humouws ^.^ and conceits s-shaww govewn. -Exit -WOWENZO. O deaw discwetion, how *cuddles you* his w-wowds awe suited! -*screams* The foow hath pwanted i-in his memowy -*giggles shyly* An awmy of good wowds; and I do knyow -A m-many foows t-that stand in bettew pwace, -^w^ Gawnyish'd wike him, that fow a twicksy wowd -Defy the m-mattew. How cheew'st thou, Jessica? -And *sighs* nyow, good sweet, say thy opinyion, -How dost thou wike the Wowd Bassanyio's wife? -JESSICA. P-Past aww expwessing. It is UwU vewy meet -The Wowd :33 Bassanyio wive an upwight wife, -Fow, having such a bwessing i-in his wady, -He finds the j-joys of *notices bulge* heaven *teleports behind you* hewe on eawth; -A-And i-if on eawth he do nyot mewit it, -In weason he s-shouwd nyevew come to heaven. -*sighs* Why, i-if two g-gods s-shouwd pway some x3 heavenwy match, -*looks at you* And on *hugs tightly* the wagew w-way two *sweats* eawthwy women, -And Powtia onye, thewe *hugs tightly* must *notices bulge* be something ewse -Pawn'd with the othew; fow the poow wude wowwd -Hath nyot hew fewwow. -WOWENZO. Even such a husband -Hast thou of me a-as she is fow a wife. -JESSICA. Nyay, but ask my opinyion too of *shuffles closer* that. -WOWENZO. I wiww anyon; fiwst wet us go to dinnyew. -JESSICA. Nyay, wet m-me pwaise you w-whiwe I have a-a stomach. -*notices bulge* WOWENZO. Nyo, pway thee, wet it sewve fow t-tabwe-tawk; -Then *looks at you* howsome'ew thou *looks away* speak'st, *hugs tightly* 'mong othew things -I shaww *cries* digest it. -JESSICA. Weww, *moans* I'ww *hugs tightly* set you f-fowth. Exeunt - - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. -Venyice. The couwt of justice - -Entew the D-DUKE, the *twerks* MAGNyIFICOES, :33 ANTONyIO, BASSANyIO, GWATIANyO, SAWEWIO, -and OTHEWS - -DUKE OF VENyICE. What, *moans* is Antonyio hewe? -ANTONyIO. Weady, so pwease y-youw Gwace. -DUKE O-OF VENyICE. I am *giggles shyly* sowwy f-fow thee; thou awt come to a-answew -A *leans over* stony advewsawy, an inhuman w-wwetch, -Uncapabwe of p-pity, void and empty -Fwom any dwam of mewcy. -ANTONyIO. I have heawd -Youw Gwace hath ta'en gweat pains to quawify -His wigowous couwse; *looks away* but since he stands >w< obduwate, -And that *shuffles closer* nyo wawfuw *giggles shyly* means can cawwy me -*twerks* Out of his envy's weach, >_> I do oppose -My p-patience to h-his fuwy, and am awm'd -To suffew w-with a quietnyess of s-spiwit -The vewy tywanny and wage of his. -DUKE OF xDD VENyICE. Go onye, and caww the Jew into the couwt. -SAWEWIO. *sweats* He i-is weady ^w^ at t-the d-doow; *looks at you* he comes, my w-wowd. - -Entew SHYWOCK - -DUKE OF VENyICE. *shuffles closer* Make woom, and wet him stand b-befowe ouw face. -Shywock, the wowwd thinks, and I x3 think *looks at you* so too, -That thou but weadest this fashion of thy mawice -To the wast houw of a-act; and ^.^ then, 'tis t-thought, -Thou'wt show thy mewcy and wemowse, mowe stwange -Than is thy stwange appawent cwuewty; ->w< And whewe thou nyow >_> exacts the penyawty, -Which is a pound of this poow mewchant's fwesh, -Thou wiwt nyot *sweats* onwy woose the fowfeituwe, -But, touch'd with h-human gentwenyess and wove, -Fowgive a >w< moiety of t-the pwincipaw, -Gwancing a-an eye of pity on his wosses, -That have of w-wate so huddwed on h-his b-back- -Enyow to pwess a-a woyaw :3 mewchant down, -And pwuck commisewation of his state -Fwom bwassy bosoms and wough heawts of fwint, -F-Fwom stubbown Tuwks and Tawtaws, nyevew twain'd -To offices of tendew couwtesy. -*giggles shyly* We aww *twerks* expect a gentwe *giggles shyly* answew, Jew. -SHYWOCK. I have possess'd y-youw Gwace of what I p-puwpose, -And by ouw *cries* howy Sabbath have *notices bulge* I swown -To *cuddles you* have t-the *looks away* due and fowfeit of m-my bond. -If you deny it, wet the dangew wight -Upon youw chawtew and *screams* youw city's fweedom. -You'ww ask me why I-I wathew >_> choose to h-have -A weight o-of cawwion fwesh *hugs tightly* than to weceive -Thwee thousand ducats. I-I'ww nyot a-answew that, -But say i-it is *giggles shyly* my humouw- is it answew'd? -What if my h-house be twoubwed with a wat, -And I-I *hugs tightly* be pweas'd to give ten thousand ducats -To have it ban'd? What, awe y-you answew'd yet? -*giggles shyly* Some m-men t-thewe awe wove nyot a >_< gaping pig; -*hugs tightly* Some that awe mad i-if uWu they behowd a-a cat; -And othews, when :3 the xDD bagpipe sings i' th' nyose, -Cannyot c-contain theiw u-uwinye; fow affection, -Mistwess of passion, sways it to the mood -Of what ^.^ it wikes ow *sweats* woathes. Nyow, fow youw *moans* answew: -As thewe *blushes* is *twerks* nyo fiwm weason to be wend'wed -Why he c-cannyot abide a gaping pig; -Why he, a hawmwess nyecessawy cat; -Why he, a woowwen *blushes* bagpipe, but of UwU fowce -Must y-yiewd to such inyevitabwe shame -As to offend, h-himsewf being >_> offended; -So can *cuddles you* I give nyo weason, nyow I >_> wiww nyot, -Mowe than a wodg'd hate and a cewtain woathing -I beaw Antonyio, that I fowwow *moans* thus -A *teleports behind you* wosing suit a-against him. Awe you answewed? -BASSANyIO. This is nyo a-answew, thou unfeewing man, -To excuse the cuwwent of thy cwuewty. -SHYWOCK. I ^-^ am nyot bound to p-pwease thee with my answews. -BASSANyIO. D-Do aww men kiww *shuffles closer* the things they do nyot wove? -SHYWOCK. Hates any man the t-thing he w-wouwd nyot kiww? -BASSANyIO. Evewy offence is nyot a hate at fiwst. -SHYWOCK. What, wouwdst thou have a sewpent *teleports behind you* sting thee twice? -ANTONyIO. I-I pway *teleports behind you* you, ;;w;; think you question with *sighs* the Jew. -You may as w-weww ^w^ go :3 stand upon the beach -And bid *shuffles closer* the main fwood bate his usuaw height; -You may as weww *twerks* use question *sighs* with the wowf, -W-Why he :3 hath made the ewe bweat fow the wamb; -You may *sweats* as *notices bulge* weww fowbid the mountain pinyes -To wag theiw high tops and to make nyo nyoise -When they awe fwetten with the gusts of heaven; -You ^-^ may as weww do a-anything *pokes you* most hawd -As seek to s-soften ^.^ that- than which what's *notices bulge* hawdew?- -His jewish heawt. Thewefowe, I-I do beseech you, -*pokes you* Make nyo moe o-offews, use nyo fawthew *looks away* means, -But with aww bwief and pwain convenyiency -Wet me have *sweats* judgment, and the >_> Jew :33 his w-wiww. -BASSANyIO. F-Fow thy thwee thousand ducats *moans* hewe is six. -SHYWOCK. If evewy ducat in x3 six thousand ducats -W-Wewe i-in six pawts, and evewy pawt a ducat, -^w^ I wouwd nyot dwaw them; I wouwd have my bond. -*screams* DUKE OF VENyICE. How *pokes you* shawt thou hope f-fow >_< mewcy, *cries* wend'wing nyonye? -SHYWOCK. What judgment shaww I dwead, doing nyo wwong? -You have among you many a puwchas'd s-swave, -Which, fike youw asses and youw *sweats* dogs x3 and uWu muwes, -You *sighs* use in abject and in swavish p-pawts, -Because you bought them; shaww I s-say to y-you -'-'Wet t-them xDD be fwee, mawwy t-them to youw heiws- -Why sweat they ;;w;; undew buwdens?- wet theiw beds -Be m-made a-as soft a-as :3 youws, and wet theiw *moans* pawates -Be season'd ^.^ with *sighs* such viands'? x3 You *blushes* wiww ^w^ answew -'The swaves a-awe ouws.' So *hugs tightly* do I-I answew you: -T-The pound of fwesh *twerks* which I demand of him -Is deawwy bought, 'tis minye, a-and I wiww have it. -If you uWu deny me, >_> fie upon youw waw! -Thewe is nyo fowce in the decwees of Venyice. -I stand fow j-judgment; :3 answew; s-shaww I have it? -DUKE O-OF VENyICE. Upon my powew I-I >_> may *hugs tightly* dismiss t-this couwt, -Unwess Bewwawio, a w-weawnyed *twerks* doctow, -Whom I have sent fow to detewminye this, -Come hewe to-day. -SAWEWIO. My wowd, hewe stays without -A m-messengew with wettews fwom the doctow, -N-Nyew come fwom Padua. -*twerks* DUKE OF VENyICE. B-Bwing *looks away* us t-the wettews; caww the messengew. -BASSANyIO. Good *looks at you* cheew, Antonyio! W-What, x3 man, couwage yet! -The Jew shaww *cuddles you* have my fwesh, bwood, bonyes, and aww, -Ewe thou shawt wose UwU fow m-me onye dwop of bwood. -^w^ ANTONyIO. *pokes you* I am a tainted :33 wethew o-of ^w^ the f-fwock, ->_> Meetest fow death; the weakest kind of fwuit -Dwops eawwiest >_< to the gwound, and so wet me. -You ;;w;; cannyot bettew be empwoy'd, Bassanyio, -T-Than to wive stiww, and wwite minye epitaph. - -Entew NyEWISSA dwessed wike a *leans over* wawyew's cwewk - -DUKE O-OF ;;w;; VENyICE. *screams* Came you fwom Padua, fwom Bewwawio? -NyEWISSA. Fwom both, my wowd. Bewwawio gweets youw Gwace. -[Pwesents a wettew] -BASSANyIO. W-Why dost >w< thou whet t-thy knyife so e-eawnyestwy? -S-SHYWOCK. ^-^ To c-cut t-the fowfeituwe fwom that bankwupt ^w^ thewe. -*hugs tightly* GWATIANyO. Nyot on thy sowe, but on thy souw, hawsh Jew, -Thou mak'st thy knyife keen; but nyo metaw can, -N-Nyo, nyot the hangman's axe, beaw hawf the keennyess -O-Of thy shawp envy. Can nyo p-pwayews p-piewce >_< thee? -SHYWOCK. Nyo, nyonye that thou *looks at you* hast wit enyough t-to make. -GWATIANyO. O-O, *shuffles closer* be thou damn'd, inyexecwabwe *pokes you* dog! -A-And fow thy OwO wife wet uWu justice be accus'd. -Thou awmost mak'st me wavew in my faith, -T-To howd uWu opinyion with P-Pythagowas -That souws of anyimaws infuse t-themsewves -Into the twunks xDD of men. Thy cuwwish *twerks* spiwit -Govewn'd a wowf *teleports behind you* who, hang'd fow h-human swaughtew, -Even fwom the gawwows did his f-feww souw fweet, -*twerks* And, whiwst thou wayest *screams* in thy OwO unhawwowed ^w^ dam, -*looks away* Infus'd itsewf in thee; fow thy desiwes -Awe *giggles shyly* wowfish, bwoody, stawv'd a-and wavenyous. -SHYWOCK. T-Tiww *moans* thou c-canst waiw the s-seaw f-fwom off my bond, -T-Thou but offend'st OwO thy wungs to speak s-so w-woud; -*leans over* Wepaiw thy wit, good youth, ow it wiww faww -To cuwewess wuin. I-I stand h-hewe fow waw. -DUKE OF >_< VENyICE. This w-wettew fwom B-Bewwawio doth commend -A young and weawnyed doctow to o-ouw couwt. -*notices bulge* Whewe is he? -NyEWISSA. *looks at you* He a-attendeth h-hewe hawd by -To *cuddles you* knyow *looks at you* youw answew, whethew you'ww admit him. -DUKE OF VENyICE. With aww my heawt. Some thwee ow fouw ^-^ of you -Go give h-him couwteous c-conduct :3 to this pwace. -Meantime, *blushes* the c-couwt shaww heaw Bewwawio's wettew. -C-CWEWK. [Weads] 'Youw Gwace x3 shaww undewstand that at the weceipt -of y-youw wettew I am UwU vewy uWu sick; but i-in the i-instant that *sighs* youw -messengew came, in woving visitation was with me a young doctow -o-of Wome- his nyame >_< is Bawthazaw. I acquainted him w-with the cause -*notices bulge* in contwovewsy between the *cries* Jew and Antonyio the mewchant; OwO we -tuwn'd o'ew many books togethew; h-he is fuwnyished with m-my opinyion -which, bettewed with his own weawnying-the gweatnyess wheweof I -cannyot enyough commend- comes *shuffles closer* with him *moans* at *moans* my i-impowtunyity to fiww -up youw Gwace's wequest in my ^.^ stead. I beseech you wet his wack -of yeaws be n-nyo UwU impediment t-to wet him wack a wevewend e-estimation, -f-fow I-I nyevew *moans* knyew so young a body xDD with so owd a head. I weave *hugs tightly* him -to youw gwacious acceptance, *shuffles closer* whose twiaw *moans* shaww bettew pubwish xDD his -commendation.' - -*hugs tightly* Entew POWTIA fow B-BAWTHAZAW, dwessed wike a Doctow of Waws - -DUKE OF VENyICE. YOU heaw the weawn'd *sighs* Bewwawio, what he wwites; -^-^ And hewe, I take it, :3 is the doctow come. -Give me youw hand; come you *shuffles closer* fwom owd OwO Bewwawio? -POWTIA. I did, my wowd. -DUKE OF VENyICE. You awe xDD wewcome; take youw pwace. -Awe you acquainted with the diffewence -That *moans* howds this pwesent question *screams* in the xDD couwt? -xDD POWTIA. I am infowmed thwoughwy of the cause. -OwO Which is the mewchant hewe, and which t-the Jew? -DUKE x3 OF VENyICE. Antonyio and owd xDD Shywock, both s-stand fowth. -POWTIA. Is youw nyame Shywock? -*teleports behind you* SHYWOCK. S-Shywock is my nyame. -POWTIA. Of a stwange nyatuwe is the suit you fowwow; -Yet in such wuwe that the *shuffles closer* Venyetian xDD waw -*cries* Cannyot impugn y-you as you do pwoceed. -You stand within his dangew, do you nyot? -ANTONyIO. Ay, s-so he *leans over* says. -POWTIA. D-Do you confess the *giggles shyly* bond? -ANTONyIO. I d-do. -POWTIA. Then must the Jew be mewcifuw. -SHYWOCK. O-On what compuwsion must I? Teww *giggles shyly* me that. -POWTIA. x3 The quawity of mewcy is *hugs tightly* nyot stwain'd; -It dwoppeth a-as the gentwe wain fwom heaven -Upon t-the pwace benyeath. It is twice bwest: -It b-bwesseth him that gives and him t-that t-takes. -'Tis m-mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes -The >_< thwonyed *teleports behind you* monyawch bettew than his cwown; -His UwU sceptwe shows the fowce of UwU tempowaw powew, -The attwibute to awe a-and ^.^ majesty, -Whewein doth sit ^.^ the dwead and feaw *sweats* of kings; -But ^-^ mewcy is above this sceptwed :3 sway, -It is enthwonyed in t-the heawts of kings, -It is an attwibute to God himsewf; -And eawthwy powew doth t-then show wikest God's -*screams* When mewcy seasons j-justice. *giggles shyly* Thewefowe, Jew, -Though j-justice be t-thy pwea, considew this- -That in the couwse of justice nyonye *cries* of us -Shouwd see sawvation; we do pway *hugs tightly* fow mewcy, -And that same pwayew doth teach u-us aww to wendew -The deeds of mewcy. I have spoke thus much -To mitigate the justice of thy p-pwea, -Which *notices bulge* if thou fowwow, this stwict *giggles shyly* couwt of Venyice -Must nyeeds give sentence 'gainst the mewchant thewe. -SHYWOCK. My deeds upon my head! I cwave *sighs* the ^.^ waw, -T-The penyawty *giggles shyly* and f-fowfeit of my bond. -*leans over* BASSANyIO. UwU Yes; hewe *leans over* I tendew it fow him i-in the c-couwt; -*sweats* Yea, twice the sum; *giggles shyly* if that wiww nyot suffice, -I wiww be bound t-to pay it ten times o'ew -On fowfeit o-of my hands, my head, my heawt; -If this wiww nyot suffice, it must xDD appeaw -That m-mawice beaws down twuth. And, I beseech *notices bulge* you, -Wwest once the *leans over* waw to y-youw authowity; -To do a gweat *sweats* wight do a wittwe wwong, -And ;;w;; cuwb this *twerks* cwuew deviw :3 of his *leans over* wiww. -POWTIA. I-It m-must nyot be; thewe is nyo *screams* powew in Venyice -*pokes you* Can awtew a decwee estabwished; -'Twiww be wecowded fow a pwecedent, -And m-many an ewwow, by the same *shuffles closer* exampwe, -Wiww *sweats* wush into >_< the state; it cannyot be. -*leans over* SHYWOCK. A Danyiew >_> come to judgment! Yea, a Danyiew! -O wise young judge, how I-I do *cries* honyouw thee! -POWTIA. I pway you, wet me wook upon the bond. -*cries* SHYWOCK. H-Hewe '-'tis, m-most wevewend Doctow; hewe it is. -:33 POWTIA. Shywock, thewe's :33 thwice thy monyey o-off'wed thee. -SHYWOCK. An oath, a-an oath! I h-have an oath in heaven. -Shaww I way pewjuwy u-upon >_< my souw? -Nyo, n-nyot fow Venyice. -POWTIA. Why, this bond is fowfeit; -And *sweats* wawfuwwy by this *giggles shyly* the Jew *screams* may cwaim -A-A pound of fwesh, t-to be by him c-cut off -Nyeawest *twerks* the mewchant's heawt. B-Be mewcifuw. -Take thwice thy monyey; b-bid me teaw the bond. -SHYWOCK. When it is p-paid accowding to the t-tenyouw. -It doth appeaw you a-awe *screams* a uWu wowthy *pokes you* judge; -You knyow the waw; youw e-exposition -Hath been m-most sound; I chawge you by the waw, -Wheweof you awe a weww-desewving piwwaw, -*notices bulge* Pwoceed to judgment. By my souw I sweaw -Thewe is nyo p-powew in the tongue o-of man -To *hugs tightly* awtew me. I stay hewe on my bond. -^w^ ANTONyIO. Most heawtiwy I do *twerks* beseech t-the couwt -To give the *pokes you* judgment. -UwU POWTIA. W-Why then, thus *shuffles closer* it is: -You must *sweats* pwepawe youw *notices bulge* bosom fow his knyife. -SHYWOCK. O nyobwe judge! O-O excewwent y-young *sighs* man! -POWTIA. Fow the i-intent and puwpose of t-the waw -Hath f-fuww wewation x3 to the p-penyawty, -Which hewe appeaweth due u-upon the bond. -SHYWOCK. 'Tis *looks away* vewy twue. O-O wise >_> and u-upwight ^-^ judge, -*leans over* How much m-mowe ewdew awt *pokes you* thou than thy *sweats* wooks! -POWTIA. Thewefowe, way *shuffles closer* bawe y-youw bosom. -SHYWOCK. Ay, his *moans* bweast- -So says the *moans* bond; doth it nyot, nyobwe :33 judge? -*blushes* 'Nyeawest *sighs* his heawt,' those ^w^ awe the *blushes* vewy w-wowds. -UwU POWTIA. It is so. Awe thewe bawance hewe to weigh -The fwesh? -SHYWOCK. I have them weady. -uWu POWTIA. Have by s-some suwgeon, Shywock, on youw c-chawge, -To stop h-his wounds, west h-he do bweed to death. -SHYWOCK. Is *hugs tightly* it so nyominyated in the b-bond? -POWTIA. It is nyot so expwess'd, b-but what of t-that? -'-'Twewe good you do so *leans over* much fow chawity. -SHYWOCK. I cannyot find i-it; ^w^ 'tis >_< nyot in t-the bond. -POWTIA. You, mewchant, have you anything to say? -ANTONyIO. But wittwe: I am awm'd a-and *twerks* weww pwepaw'd. -Give me youw hand, Bassanyio; fawe you weww. -Gwieve *sighs* nyot that I-I *hugs tightly* am faww'n *blushes* to *moans* this fow you, -F-Fow hewein Fowtunye shows hewsewf mowe k-kind -Than is hew :33 custom. It is s-stiww h-hew use -To wet t-the wwetched >_> man outwive h-his weawth, -T-To view with ^-^ howwow eye and *notices bulge* wwinkwed bwow -An age of p-povewty; fwom which wing'wing *cuddles you* penyance -Of *giggles shyly* such misewy doth UwU she cut me off. -Commend *cuddles you* me to youw honyouwabwe wife; -Teww hew the pwocess of Antonyio's end; -Say how I wov'd you; s-speak me *shuffles closer* faiw in *cuddles you* death; -A-And, when the tawe is towd, bid hew be judge -Whethew Bassanyio *sweats* had *shuffles closer* nyot once a w-wove. -W-Wepent but you that you s-shaww wose youw fwiend, -And h-he *leans over* wepents nyot that he pays youw d-debt; -Fow if the Jew do OwO cut but deep enyough, -*moans* I'ww pay >_< it instantwy with aww my heawt. -BASSANyIO. A-Antonyio, I ^-^ am mawwied to a *cries* wife -*hugs tightly* Which is as deaw to me as :3 wife i-itsewf; -But wife i-itsewf, my wife, and *cries* aww ^w^ the wowwd, -Awe nyot w-with me esteem'd above thy wife; -I wouwd wose a-aww, ay, *giggles shyly* sacwifice them a-aww -Hewe t-to this deviw, t-to dewivew you. -POWTIA. Youw wife >_< wouwd *notices bulge* give you wittwe thanks *hugs tightly* fow that, -If she wewe by to heaw you make the offew. -GWATIANyO. I h-have a wife who I pwotest I >_> wove; -I wouwd she wewe *blushes* in heaven, so she >w< couwd -Entweat *notices bulge* some powew >_< to :3 change this cuwwish Jew. -NyEWISSA. 'Tis weww *pokes you* you offew it behind hew back; -*teleports behind you* The wish wouwd m-make :33 ewse an u-unquiet ^w^ house. -SHYWOCK. [Aside] These be *teleports behind you* the Chwistian husbands! I-I have a -daughtew- -W-Wouwd any of the stock of Bawwabas -Had been hew h-husband, w-wathew than a Chwistian!- ->w< We twifwe t-time; I pway thee puwsue sentence. -POWTIA. A pound of t-that same mewchant's ^w^ fwesh is thinye. -The c-couwt *pokes you* awawds i-it and the waw doth give it. -SHYWOCK. Most w-wightfuw judge! -P-POWTIA. And you must cut t-this fwesh fwom off his b-bweast. -The waw awwows it a-and the couwt awawds it. -SHYWOCK. Most weawnyed *moans* judge! A sentence! C-Come, pwepawe. -POWTIA. Tawwy *sweats* a wittwe; thewe is something ewse. -This bond doth give thee hewe *moans* nyo jot of bwood: -The xDD wowds *twerks* expwesswy *blushes* awe 'a pound o-of f-fwesh.' -Take then thy bond, take thou :33 thy pound of f-fwesh; -But, in the c-cutting it, if thou dost shed -Onye dwop of Chwistian bwood, thy wands and goods -A-Awe, by t-the waws of Venyice, ^.^ confiscate -*cries* Unto the state of Venyice. -GWATIANyO. OwO O upwight judge! *hugs tightly* Mawk, Jew. O *sighs* weawnyed judge! -SHYWOCK. Is that the waw? -^.^ POWTIA. *twerks* Thysewf shawt see the act; -Fow, as thou uwgest j-justice, be a-assuw'd -Thou shawt have justice, mowe than thou desiw'st. -GWATIANyO. O weawnyed judge! M-Mawk, Jew. A weawnyed >w< judge! -SHYWOCK. I take this offew then: pay the bond thwice, -A-And wet the Chwistian go. -^.^ BASSANyIO. Hewe is the monyey. -POWTIA. Soft! -T-The Jew shaww h-have aww justice. Soft! Nyo haste. -He shaww have nyothing b-but the *screams* penyawty. -G-GWATIANyO. O Jew! an upwight judge, a weawnyed judge! -POWTIA. Thewefowe, *twerks* pwepawe *twerks* thee to cut off the fwesh. -Shed thou *blushes* nyo bwood, nyow cut thou wess nyow :33 mowe -But just a pound of fwesh; if thou t-tak'st mowe -Ow wess t-than a just p-pound- be it but so much -As makes x3 it wight ow heavy in UwU the substance, -O-Ow the division *cuddles you* of the twentieth pawt -Of :33 onye poow scwupwe; nyay, if *moans* the scawe do tuwn -But *leans over* in the estimation of a-a haiw- -*leans over* Thou diest, and aww thy goods *twerks* awe *shuffles closer* confiscate. -GWATIANyO. A second Danyiew, a D-Danyiew, J-Jew! -Nyow, infidew, I-I *looks away* have you on the hip. -*pokes you* POWTIA. Why doth ^w^ the Jew pause? Take thy fowfeituwe. -SHYWOCK. G-Give me >w< my *giggles shyly* pwincipaw, a-and wet me go. -*hugs tightly* BASSANyIO. *leans over* I h-have it weady fow thee; *looks at you* hewe it is. -POWTIA. He hath wefus'd it i-in the open *twerks* couwt; -He *looks at you* shaww have mewewy j-justice, and his bond. -GWATIANyO. A Danyiew stiww say I, a second D-Danyiew! -I thank thee, Jew, fow teaching *cuddles you* me that wowd. -SHYWOCK. Shaww I nyot have bawewy my pwincipaw? -POWTIA. Thou shawt h-have nyothing but *screams* the fowfeituwe -To be so taken at t-thy pewiw, Jew. -SHYWOCK. Why, then the d-deviw uWu give h-him good o-of i-it! -I'ww stay nyo wongew question. -POWTIA. Tawwy, Jew. -The *teleports behind you* waw ;;w;; hath *moans* yet anyothew howd on you. -*looks at you* It is enyacted in the waws of V-Venyice, -If :33 it *screams* be pwoved >_< against an awien -That *pokes you* by diwect o-ow indiwect attempts -H-He seek the wife of any citizen, -The p-pawty 'gainst the which :33 he *twerks* doth contwive -Shaww :33 seize o-onye h-hawf his goods; the othew hawf -Comes to the pwivy coffew of t-the ^.^ state; -And t-the offendew's wife wies in the mewcy -O-Of the Duke onwy, 'gainst aww othew voice. -*teleports behind you* In w-which pwedicament, I say, t-thou x3 stand'st; -*leans over* Fow UwU it appeaws by x3 manyifest pwoceeding -That i-indiwectwy, *moans* and diwectwy too, -Thou hast *giggles shyly* contwived against the *hugs tightly* vewy wife -Of the defendant; a-and *blushes* thou hast i-incuww'd -The dangew *blushes* fowmewwy by me weheaws'd. -*notices bulge* Down, thewefowe, and beg mewcy of the Duke. -GWATIANyO. Beg t-that thou mayst have weave to hang thysewf; -And yet, thy weawth *giggles shyly* being fowfeit xDD to the *blushes* state, -OwO Thou hast nyot weft the vawue of a *teleports behind you* cowd; -Thewefowe thou m-must xDD be hang'd at the state's chawge. -DUKE OF V-VENyICE. That thou shawt see the *looks away* diffewence o-of ouw spiwit, -I pawdon thee *teleports behind you* thy wife befowe thou ask it. -*hugs tightly* Fow hawf thy weawth, it is Antonyio's; -The *cries* othew hawf comes to the genyewaw :33 state, -Which h-humbwenyess may dwive unto a finye. -POWTIA. Ay, fow the *hugs tightly* state; nyot fow Antonyio. -SHYWOCK. Nyay, t-take my wife and aww, pawdon nyot that. -Y-You take my house *notices bulge* when you do take :3 the pwop -That doth sustain my house; you *teleports behind you* take my *looks away* wife -When y-you ^w^ do take t-the means wheweby I wive. -POWTIA. What mewcy can :33 you wendew him, Antonyio? -GWATIANyO. A hawtew gwatis; nyothing ewse, fow God's sake! -ANTONyIO. So ;;w;; pwease *blushes* my wowd the Duke and aww >_< the couwt -To q-quit the finye fow onye h-hawf xDD of his goods; -I *twerks* am content, ;;w;; so *sweats* he wiww wet me h-have -The othew hawf in use, to wendew >_> it -Upon his d-death unto the gentweman -That watewy stowe his daughtew- -Two things p-pwovided mowe; that, fow this favouw, -He pwesentwy become a *twerks* Chwistian; -The othew, OwO that he do wecowd a gift, -Hewe *looks away* in :3 the couwt, of aww he dies possess'd -Unto his son Wowenzo and his daughtew. -*notices bulge* DUKE OF VENyICE. H-He shaww do this, ow ewse I do *moans* wecant -The :3 pawdon that I wate pwonyounced hewe. -POWTIA. Awt thou contented, Jew? *cuddles you* What dost thou say? -SHYWOCK. I am c-content. -POWTIA. Cwewk, dwaw a deed of gift. -UwU SHYWOCK. I pway you, give me weave to g-go fwom hence; -I am nyot weww; send the deed aftew *blushes* me -And I *looks away* wiww sign it. -DUKE *cries* OF VENyICE. Get thee gonye, but do i-it. -GWATIANyO. In chwist'nying shawt thou have two god-fathews; -Had I been judge, UwU thou shouwdst >w< have had ten mowe, -*looks at you* To bwing ^-^ thee to the gawwows, *twerks* nyot to the font. -Exit SHYWOCK -DUKE OF VENyICE. Siw, I entweat you home *teleports behind you* with me to dinnyew. -POWTIA. I humbwy do desiwe youw Gwace of pawdon; -I must away this nyight towawd Padua, -And it is meet x3 I p-pwesentwy set f-fowth. -DUKE OF *teleports behind you* VENyICE. I-I am sowwy that youw weisuwe sewves you n-nyot. -A-Antonyio, g-gwatify this gentweman, -:33 Fow in my mind y-you awe m-much bound to him. -Exeunt DUKE, MAGNyIFICOES, and twain -BASSANyIO. Most wowthy *leans over* gentweman, I-I and my fwiend -Have by youw wisdom been this day *notices bulge* acquitted -O-Of gwievous penyawties; in wieu wheweof -Thwee thousand ducats, due unto >w< the Jew, -We fweewy cope youw c-couwteous pains withaw. -ANTONyIO. And stand indebted, ovew and above, -*sighs* In :3 wove and sewvice to you evewmowe. -POWTIA. He is weww paid that is >_< weww satisfied, -And I-I, dewivewing you, xDD am satisfied, -And thewein do a-account mysewf OwO weww paid. -My *pokes you* mind ^-^ was nyevew yet mowe mewcenyawy. -I pway *looks away* you, knyow me when we meet again; -I wish you weww, and so I take my weave. -BASSANyIO. Deaw s-siw, *looks at you* of fowce I must attempt you OwO fuwthew; ->w< Take some wemembwance :3 of us, as OwO a t-twibute, -Nyot as fee. G-Gwant me two things, I pway y-you, -Nyot to deny me, and to pawdon me. -*screams* POWTIA. You pwess *screams* me faw, and thewefowe I wiww yiewd. -^w^ [To ANTONyIO] G-Give me uWu youw gwoves, I'ww weaw them fow youw sake. -[To BASSANyIO] And, fow *looks away* youw w-wove, I'ww take this wing fwom y-you. -*giggles shyly* Do nyot dwaw back youw hand; I'ww take nyo mowe, -And you i-in *looks away* wove shaww nyot deny m-me t-this. -BASSANyIO. This wing, good *looks at you* siw- a-awas, it is a twifwe; -*looks at you* I wiww nyot shame mysewf to give *moans* you this. -POWTIA. I wiww have nyothing ewse but *looks away* onwy this; -And nyow, methinks, I have a mind to it. -BASSANyIO.. Thewe's mowe ^w^ depends on this than on the vawue. -The deawest wing in Venyice wiww I give you, -And find it out by pwocwamation; -Onwy fow this, I pway *cries* you, pawdon m-me. -POWTIA. I see, siw, you OwO awe wibewaw in o-offews; -You taught me fiwst to beg, and nyow, methinks, -You t-teach me how a beggaw shouwd be a-answew'd. -BASSANyIO. Good siw, this wing was given uWu me *cuddles you* by my wife; -*teleports behind you* And, when she put it o-on, she made *cuddles you* me v-vow -That *looks at you* I shouwd >_> nyeithew seww, n-nyow give, *notices bulge* nyow wose it. -POWTIA. T-That 'scuse sewves ^w^ many m-men t-to save *looks at you* theiw g-gifts. -And if youw wife be nyot a m-mad woman, -And knyow how weww *teleports behind you* I have desewv'd this :3 wing, ->_< She wouwd nyot howd out enyemy fow e-evew -Fow giving it to *shuffles closer* me. Weww, p-peace be ^w^ with you! -Exeunt POWTIA and N-NyEWISSA -*sweats* ANTONyIO. My Wowd Bassanyio, wet him h-have the wing. -Wet h-his desewvings, and my wove withaw, -Be *sweats* vawued 'gainst youw wife's commandment. -BASSANyIO. Go, Gwatianyo, wun and ovewtake him; -Give him the wing, and bwing him, i-if *sweats* thou canst, -Unto Antonyio's house. ^w^ Away, make haste. Exit *blushes* GWATIANyO -Come, you and *notices bulge* I wiww thithew pwesentwy; -A-And in the *blushes* mownying eawwy wiww we both -Fwy towawd Bewmont. >w< Come, Antonyio. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Venyice. A s-stweet - -^-^ Entew *notices bulge* POWTIA and NyEWISSA - -POWTIA. *notices bulge* Inquiwe t-the *hugs tightly* Jew's house out, give him this deed, -*twerks* And *cuddles you* wet ^w^ him s-sign it; we'ww away tonyight, -And be a day b-befowe ouw h-husbands home. -This deed w-wiww be *pokes you* weww wewcome to Wowenzo. - -Entew GWATIANyO - -GWATIANyO. Faiw siw, you awe weww o-o'ewta'en. -My *giggles shyly* Wowd Bassanyio, upon mowe OwO advice, -Hath sent y-you h-hewe t-this wing, a-and doth entweat -*shuffles closer* Youw company at dinnyew. -POWTIA. That cannyot be. -His wing >w< I do accept most thankfuwwy, -And so, I-I pway you, teww him. F-Fuwthewmowe, -OwO I p-pway you show my youth owd S-Shywock's house. -GWATIANyO. That wiww I do. -NyEWISSA. Siw, I wouwd speak with you. -[Aside to POWTIA] I'ww See if I can get my husband's wing, -Which I did make him sweaw to keep ^-^ fow evew. -POWTIA. [To NyEWISSA] Thou Mayst, I wawwant. We shaww have o-owd -sweawing -That *leans over* they d-did give the wings away t-to men; -But we'ww outface *pokes you* them, and outsweaw them too. -[Awoud] Away, make haste, thou knyow'st whewe I wiww tawwy. -NyEWISSA. C-Come, *pokes you* good siw, wiww you show me t-to this house? -Exeunt - - - - -OwO ACT V. SCENyE I. -Bewmont. The gawden befowe POWTIA'S house - -E-Entew WOWENZO >_> and JESSICA - -WOWENZO. The m-moon shinyes *moans* bwight. In s-such a nyight as this, -When the sweet wind did gentwy kiss the twees, -*sighs* And they did make *teleports behind you* nyo nyoise- in such a nyight, -Twoiwus methinks m-mounted the Twoyan w-wawws, -And sigh'd his souw towawd *screams* the *hugs tightly* Gwecian tents, -Whewe Cwessid way that nyight. -JESSICA. I-In s-such a nyight -Did T-Thisby f-feawfuwwy o'ewtwip the dew, -And saw the >_< wion's shadow ewe himsewf, -And wan dismayed away. -WOWENZO. In such a-a n-nyight -Stood D-Dido with a wiwwow in hew hand -Upon the wiwd sea-banks, *twerks* and waft hew wove -To come a-again to Cawthage. -JESSICA. I-In such a nyight -Medea gathewed the enchanted :3 hewbs -That did *looks away* wenyew owd AEson. -W-WOWENZO. In such a nyight -Did Jessica steaw fwom the weawthy Jew, -And with an unthwift wove d-did wun fwom Venyice -*screams* As faw as Bewmont. -JESSICA. xDD In such >w< a n-nyight -Did young Wowenzo uWu sweaw he wov'd hew weww, -Steawing hew souw with many *hugs tightly* vows of faith, -And nye'ew a twue onye. -WOWENZO. In such a nyight -Did pwetty Jessica, wike a wittwe shwew, -Swandew hew wove, and he fowgave it hew. -JESSICA. I-I wouwd o-out-nyight *twerks* you, did nyo b-body come; -But, *giggles shyly* hawk, I heaw the footing OwO of a man. - -Entew S-STEPHANyO - -WOWENZO. *twerks* Who comes so fast in siwence of the n-nyight? -*cuddles you* STEPHANyO. A fwiend. -WOWENZO. A fwiend! What fwiend? Youw nyame, I pway you, fwiend? -STEPHANyO. Stephanyo is my nyame, and I-I b-bwing wowd -My *cuddles you* mistwess wiww befowe the bweak *teleports behind you* of day -Be hewe xDD at Bewmont; she doth stway about -By *screams* howy cwosses, whewe she *shuffles closer* knyeews and pways -*notices bulge* Fow happy wedwock houws. -WOWENZO. Who comes with ;;w;; hew? -STEPHANyO. Nyonye but a-a howy h-hewmit *cries* and hew maid. -I p-pway you, is *shuffles closer* my mastew yet wetuwn'd? -*looks at you* WOWENZO. He is *teleports behind you* nyot, nyow we h-have n-nyot heawd fwom him. -But go we in, I pway t-thee, Jessica, -And cewemonyiouswy wet us p-pwepawe -Some wewcome fow the m-mistwess of *moans* the house. - -Entew WAUNCEWOT - -WAUNCEWOT. Sowa, sowa! wo h-ha, ho! sowa, sowa! -WOWENZO. Who cawws? -WAUNCEWOT. Sowa! Did you see Mastew Wowenzo? Mastew Wowenzo! Sowa, -sowa! -WOWENZO. Weave *blushes* howwoaing, man. Hewe! -WAUNCEWOT. S-Sowa! Whewe, whewe? -WOWENZO. >_> Hewe! -WAUNCEWOT. Teww him thewe's a post xDD come fwom my *leans over* mastew with his -h-hown fuww of good *teleports behind you* nyews; my mastew wiww be hewe ewe mownying. -Exit -WOWENZO. Sweet *sighs* souw, wet's in, and t-thewe expect theiw coming. -And *giggles shyly* yet nyo mattew- why s-shouwd w-we go in? -:33 My fwiend *cries* Stephanyo, s-signyify, I pway you, -W-Within t-the house, youw mistwess is at hand; -And bwing youw music fowth into the >w< aiw. Exit STEPHANyO -How sweet the moonwight sweeps upon this >_> bank! -Hewe wiww we sit and wet the sounds o-of music -Cweep i-in UwU ouw uWu eaws; soft stiwwnyess and the nyight -Become the touches of sweet h-hawmony. -S-Sit, :33 Jessica. Wook h-how the fwoow of heaven -Is thick *hugs tightly* inwaid with patinyes of bwight *notices bulge* gowd; -Thewe's nyot the smawwest owb which thou behowd'st -But in his motion wike an a-angew sings, -Stiww quiwing to t-the young-ey'd chewubins; -Such hawmony i-is in *looks away* immowtaw souws, -But whiwst this muddy vestuwe of decay -Doth gwosswy >_< cwose i-it i-in, we cannyot h-heaw it. - -*looks at you* Entew M-MUSICIANS - -*twerks* Come, ho, a-and xDD wake Dianya with a hymn; -With sweetest touches piewce youw mistwess' eaw. -And dwaw hew home with music. *looks at you* [Music] -JESSICA. I a-am nyevew mewwy when I h-heaw sweet music. -WOWENZO. *cries* The *shuffles closer* weason is youw spiwits a-awe attentive; -Fow do but nyote a wiwd and wanton hewd, -Ow wace of youthfuw and *blushes* unhandwed cowts, -Fetching mad bounds, uWu bewwowing a-and nyeighing woud, -Which i-is the hot c-condition of theiw *cuddles you* bwood- -If they but heaw p-pewchance a >w< twumpet sound, -Ow any a-aiw of music *pokes you* touch theiw eaws, -You shaww pewceive them *pokes you* make a *giggles shyly* mutuaw stand, -T-Theiw savage eyes tuwn'd to a modest gaze -By the sweet powew of music. T-Thewefowe the *looks at you* poet -Did feign that Owpheus d-dwew twees, stonyes, and fwoods; -Since nyought so stockish, h-hawd, and fuww xDD of wage, -But music fow the t-time doth c-change his nyatuwe. -*teleports behind you* The *screams* man that hath *twerks* nyo music in himsewf, -Nyow is nyot mov'd with :33 concowd o-of sweet sounds, -Is fit f-fow tweasons, stwatagems, and spoiws; -T-The m-motions of his spiwit *teleports behind you* awe duww:as *screams* nyight, -*giggles shyly* And his affections dawk as Ewebus. -Wet *looks at you* nyo such man be twusted. Mawk the music. - -Entew POWTIA *pokes you* and NyEWISSA - -POWTIA. That w-wight we see is buwnying in my haww. -How OwO faw that w-wittwe candwe thwows his beams! -So *looks away* shinyes a good deed in a-a nyaughty wowwd. -NyEWISSA. *cuddles you* When the moon *blushes* shonye, we did nyot >w< see the candwe. -POWTIA. So doth the gweatew gwowy dim the wess: -A substitute shinyes bwightwy as a king -Untiw a king be by, and then his state -Empties >w< itsewf, as doth an inwand bwook -I-Into the main >w< of watews. Music! h-hawk! -NyEWISSA. It is youw ;;w;; music, madam, of the house. -POWTIA. Nyothing is good, *giggles shyly* I see, without wespect; -Methinks it sounds much sweetew *blushes* than b-by day. -NyEWISSA. Siwence bestows that viwtue ;;w;; on it, madam. -POWTIA. The xDD cwow doth sing as sweetwy a-as the wawk -When nyeithew i-is attended; and >_> I t-think -nye nyightingawe, if she shouwd *blushes* sing by day, -When x3 evewy goose is cackwing, wouwd be thought -Nyo OwO bettew *hugs tightly* a musician than t-the wwen. -H-How many things by season season'd awe -To theiw wight pwaise and twue pewfection! -Peace, ho! *notices bulge* The *cries* moon s-sweeps with Endymion, -And wouwd nyot *sighs* be awak'd. [Music ceases] -WOWENZO. That is the voice, -Ow I am much deceiv'd, of P-Powtia. -*shuffles closer* POWTIA. He knyows me as the bwind man knyows the cuckoo, -By the bad voice. -WOWENZO. ^-^ Deaw *giggles shyly* wady, wewcome home. -POWTIA. We have been pwaying fow ouw husbands' wewfawe, -Which speed, we hope, the bettew fow ouw >w< wowds. -Awe they wetuwn'd? -WOWENZO. Madam, they awe nyot yet; -But thewe i-is come a messengew befowe, -To signyify t-theiw coming. -POWTIA.. ^w^ Go in, Nyewissa; -Give owdew to my uWu sewvants that they take -Nyo n-nyote xDD at aww of o-ouw *giggles shyly* being absent hence; -Nyow you, Wowenzo; Jessica, nyow y-you. [A tucket sounds] -WOWENZO. Youw husband is at hand; I heaw his twumpet. -We awe nyo teww-tawes, madam, f-feaw you ^w^ nyot. -POWTIA. This nyight methinks *pokes you* is *looks away* but t-the daywight sick; -*pokes you* It wooks *moans* a wittwe pawew; *cuddles you* 'tis OwO a day -Such as the day is *sighs* when t-the sun is hid. - -E-Entew *sweats* BASSANyIO, ANTONyIO, GWATIANyO, UwU and theiw fowwowews - -BASSANyIO. *blushes* We shouwd OwO howd day with the Antipodes, -If you wouwd wawk in absence of ;;w;; the sun. -POWTIA. Wet me give wight, but wet me nyot b-be w-wight, -Fow a wight wife doth make x3 a heavy husband, -And *cries* nyevew be *pokes you* Bassanyio so fow me; -But God sowt aww! You awe wewcome home, ;;w;; my *moans* wowd. -BASSANyIO. I thank you, madam; g-give wewcome to my ;;w;; fwiend. -This >_> is the m-man, this is Antonyio, -To whom I am so infinyitewy bound. -POWTIA. You shouwd in aww sense >_> be m-much b-bound to him, -Fow, as I heaw, he w-was much bound fow you. -ANTONyIO. Nyo mowe t-than I UwU am w-weww acquitted of. -xDD POWTIA. Siw, ^w^ you awe vewy wewcome t-to ouw house. -It m-must appeaw in othew ways than wowds, -*looks at you* Thewefowe I-I s-scant this >_> bweathing couwtesy. -*pokes you* GWATIANyO. [To NyEWISSA] ;;w;; By yondew *looks away* moon I sweaw you do :33 me wwong; -In faith, I :33 gave it to t-the judge's cwewk. -Wouwd h-he wewe gewt that had it, fow my pawt, -Since you do take it, wove, so *teleports behind you* much at heawt. -POWTIA. A quawwew, ho, awweady! W-What's the mattew? -GWATIANyO. *sweats* About a h-hoop of gowd, a pawtwy wing -That s-she did give me, ^-^ whose *shuffles closer* posy was -Fow aww t-the wowwd wike *cuddles you* cutwew's poetwy -Upon a-a *notices bulge* knyife, 'Wove m-me, :3 and w-weave me nyot.' -NyEWISSA. *looks at you* What tawk you o-of *hugs tightly* the p-posy ow the vawue? -You swowe to m-me, >w< when I did ^-^ give it y-you, -That you wouwd weaw it tiww youw houw of death, -And that it >w< shouwd w-wie *blushes* with you in youw gwave; -;;w;; Though nyot fow me, yet *shuffles closer* fow youw vehement oaths, -You shouwd have been wespective ^w^ and have kept it. -Gave i-it a judge's cwewk! Nyo, God's my judge, -The cwewk w-wiww n-nye'ew weaw haiw on's face that had *pokes you* it. -UwU GWATIANyO. He *giggles shyly* wiww, an i-if he wive to be a man. -N-NyEWISSA. ;;w;; Ay, if a woman wive to be a man. -G-GWATIANyO. Nyow b-by this h-hand I-I gave it t-to a ^w^ youth, -A kind of boy, a wittwe scwubbed boy -Nyo highew than thysewf, the judge's cwewk; -A-A pwating boy that begg'd i-it as a fee; -I couwd nyot >_< fow my heawt deny ^.^ it him. -POWTIA. You ^.^ wewe to bwame, I must be *leans over* pwain with you, -*pokes you* To pawt so swightwy with youw wife's fiwst gift, -A thing *sweats* stuck on with *hugs tightly* oaths upon *shuffles closer* youw f-fingew -And UwU so wiveted with faith unto OwO youw fwesh. -*hugs tightly* I gave my wove a wing, and made him sweaw -:3 Nyevew to p-pawt with it, and hewe he s-stands; -I dawe be swown fow him he wouwd nyot weave it -*twerks* Nyow pwuck i-it fwom *looks at you* his f-fingew fow the weawth -That the wowwd mastews. Nyow, in faith, Gwatianyo, -You give youw wife too unkind a-a c-cause *shuffles closer* of gwief; -An '-'twewe t-to me, I *twerks* shouwd be mad at i-it. -BASSANyIO. [Aside] *shuffles closer* Why, I-I wewe best to cut my weft hand o-off, -And sweaw I ^-^ wost the wing defending it. -G-GWATIANyO. *cries* My Wowd Bassanyio *blushes* gave his wing away -Unto the judge t-that begg'd it, and indeed -Desewv'd >_< it too; and t-then the boy, his *screams* cwewk, -T-That >w< took some pains *leans over* in *cries* wwiting, h-he begg'd minye; -And nyeithew m-man nyow *teleports behind you* mastew ^-^ wouwd t-take aught -OwO But the t-two *hugs tightly* wings. -POWTIA. What uWu wing gave :3 you, xDD my wowd? -:3 Nyot t-that, I hope, which *teleports behind you* you w-weceiv'd *shuffles closer* of m-me. -BASSANyIO. If I *sweats* couwd a-add a wie unto uWu a fauwt, -I-I wouwd deny it; but you s-see my fingew -Hath n-nyot t-the wing upon it; it is gonye. -POWTIA. Even so v-void i-is youw fawse heawt o-of twuth; -xDD By heaven, I wiww *screams* nye'ew c-come in youw b-bed -U-Untiw I see the wing. -NyEWISSA. Nyow ;;w;; I i-in y-youws -Tiww I again see ;;w;; minye. -BASSANyIO. Sweet Powtia, -*looks at you* If you :3 did knyow to whom I gave the wing, -If you did knyow fow *blushes* whom I-I gave the wing, -And wouwd c-conceive fow what I gave the wing, -And h-how *hugs tightly* unwiwwingwy I weft the wing, -When nyought wouwd be accepted but the wing, -:33 You wouwd abate the stwength of >w< youw dispweasuwe. -POWTIA. If you had knyown the :33 viwtue of the wing, -Ow hawf hew :3 wowthinyess that gave *cuddles you* the wing, -O-Ow youw own honyouw to contain the wing, -You wouwd nyot then h-have pawted with the wing. -What man is thewe *blushes* so much :33 unweasonyabwe, -*leans over* If you had pweas'd to have d-defended ^-^ it -With any uWu tewms of zeaw, uWu wanted the modesty -To uwge the *pokes you* thing hewd as a-a cewemony? -Nyewissa teaches me what *sighs* to bewieve: -I'ww >_< die *teleports behind you* fow't *sighs* but some woman had ;;w;; the wing. -BASSANyIO. Nyo, b-by my honyouw, madam, by my souw, -Nyo woman had it, but OwO a civiw doctow, -Which did wefuse thwee t-thousand ducats of me, -And begg'd the wing; the which I did deny him, -And suffew'd him to go dispweas'd away- -E-Even he that had hewd up the vewy wife -Of >_< my deaw fwiend. What shouwd I ^w^ say, sweet wady? -I was enfowc'd to send UwU it aftew him; -I was beset with x3 shame and *cries* couwtesy; -My honyouw wouwd nyot wet ingwatitude -So much besmeaw it. Pawdon me, *teleports behind you* good wady; -F-Fow by these xDD bwessed candwes of the n-nyight, -Had you been thewe, I think you wouwd have begg'd -*screams* The wing of m-me to give the wowthy >_< doctow. -POWTIA. W-Wet nyot that d-doctow e'ew come nyeaw m-my h-house; -Since he *sweats* hath got the jewew that I-I woved, -And that which *shuffles closer* you *cries* did sweaw to keep fow me, -I wiww become as wibewaw as you; -I'ww ;;w;; nyot deny h-him anything I have, -*pokes you* Nyo, nyot my body, n-nyow my *sweats* husband's bed. -xDD Knyow him I shaww, I-I am weww suwe of it. -Wie nyot a *cries* nyight fwom home; watch me wike *looks at you* Awgus; -If you do nyot, if *shuffles closer* I be w-weft awonye, -Nyow, by m-minye honyouw which is yet minye own, -*teleports behind you* I'ww have that doctow fow minye b-bedfewwow. -N-NyEWISSA. And I his cwewk; thewefowe b-be *pokes you* weww advis'd -How you do weave me t-to minye own pwotection. -GWATIANyO. Weww, do you so, UwU wet nyot me take him then; -Fow, if I do, I'ww maw the young cwewk's pen. -ANTONyIO. I am th' unhappy subject of t-these *notices bulge* quawwews. -POWTIA. Siw, gwieve >w< nyot you; you awe wewcome nyot withstanding. -BASSANyIO. Powtia, fowgive xDD me *hugs tightly* this enfowced wwong; -And i-in the *sweats* heawing *sighs* of these m-many fwiends -I sweaw to thee, even by thinye o-own faiw ;;w;; eyes, -W-Whewein I see mysewf- -POWTIA. Mawk you b-but that! -In both my eyes he doubwy *giggles shyly* sees h-himsewf, -In :33 each e-eye o-onye; sweaw by youw doubwe sewf, -A-And thewe's *notices bulge* an oath o-of *cries* cwedit. -BASSANyIO. Nyay, but heaw me. -Pawdon this fauwt, *cries* and by my xDD souw I sweaw -I *cuddles you* nyevew mowe wiww bweak an oath with thee. -ANTONyIO. I once did wend my body fow his weawth, -Which, but fow him >w< that >w< had x3 youw h-husband's wing, -Had quite miscawwied; I dawe be *leans over* bound a-again, -My souw u-upon the f-fowfeit, that youw wowd -W-Wiww nyevew mowe bweak faith advisedwy. -POWTIA. T-Then y-you s-shaww be his suwety. Give him this, -And bid him keep it bettew than the othew. -ANTONyIO. *shuffles closer* Hewe, Wowd Bassanyio, sweaw to keep this wing. -BASSANyIO. B-By heaven, it *blushes* is the s-same I gave the doctow! -POWTIA. I-I ^.^ had *looks at you* it of him. Pawdon *hugs tightly* me, Bassanyio, -*pokes you* Fow, by this wing, the doctow way with me. -N-NyEWISSA. And pawdon me, m-my gentwe Gwatianyo, -Fow that same scwubbed boy, the doctow's cwewk, -In wieu o-of this, wast nyight *moans* did wie with me. -GWATIANyO. Why, this is wike the ^w^ mending of highways -In summew, whewe the ways a-awe faiw enyough. -What, awe w-we cuckowds ewe we *notices bulge* have d-desewv'd i-it? -POWTIA. Speak nyot so gwosswy. *sighs* You awe aww amaz'd. -H-Hewe is a wettew; wead it at youw *notices bulge* weisuwe; -It comes fwom Padua, fwom Bewwawio; -T-Thewe x3 you shaww find that *looks at you* Powtia uWu was the doctow, -Nyewissa thewe hew cwewk. Wowenzo >_> hewe -S-Shaww witnyess I s-set *hugs tightly* fowth as soon *notices bulge* as you, -And x3 even x3 but n-nyow wetuwn'd; I h-have *shuffles closer* nyot y-yet -Entew'd my house. Antonyio, you *looks away* awe wewcome; -And I have bettew nyews in stowe fow you -Than you expect. Unseaw UwU this wettew soon; -Thewe you shaww find thwee of youw awgosies -Awe wichwy come to h-hawbouw suddenwy. -;;w;; You shaww nyot UwU knyow by w-what s-stwange accident -I chanced on *notices bulge* this wettew. -ANTONyIO. I am dumb. -BASSANyIO. UwU Wewe *moans* you the doctow, a-and I knyew you nyot? -GWATIANyO. Wewe you the cwewk that is to make >_> me cuckowd? -^w^ NyEWISSA. Ay, *sighs* but *teleports behind you* the UwU cwewk that nyevew means to do it, -U-Unwess he wive untiw he be a man. -BASSANyIO. Sweet d-doctow, you shaww be my bedfewwow; -When I am *moans* absent, then w-wie with my wife. -*twerks* ANTONyIO. *looks at you* Sweet wady, you have given me wife and w-wiving; -Fow >_< hewe I wead uWu fow cewtain that my ships -Awe safewy come to woad. -POWTIA. How *giggles shyly* nyow, Wowenzo! -My cwewk hath *cuddles you* some good comfowts t-too fow you. -N-NyEWISSA. A-Ay, and I'ww g-give them him without a fee. -Thewe d-do I give to you and Jessica, -Fwom t-the w-wich >_> Jew, a speciaw deed of gift, -Aftew his death, of aww he dies p-possess'd of. -W-WOWENZO. *blushes* Faiw w-wadies, you dwop mannya i-in the way -*leans over* Of stawved peopwe. -POWTIA. I-It is awmost mownying, -And yet I am suwe >_> you awe nyot satisfied -*blushes* Of these events at :3 fuww. W-Wet >w< us go in, -And chawge u-us *shuffles closer* thewe upon intew'gatowies, -*looks away* And we wiww answew aww things faithfuwwy. -GWATIANyO. *teleports behind you* Wet it be x3 so. The f-fiwst intew'gatowy -That my Nyewissa shaww be s-swown on is, -Whethew *cries* tiww the nyext nyight she had *moans* wathew stay, -*screams* Ow go *sighs* to bed nyow, OwO being two houws to d-day. -But wewe the day come, I-I x3 shouwd wish it ^w^ dawk, -Tiww I wewe c-couching *sweats* with the doctow's cwewk. -Weww, whiwe I >_> wive, I'ww feaw *sighs* nyo o-othew thing -So sowe as keeping *twerks* safe Nyewissa's wing. E-Exeunt - -THE *looks away* END - - - -*pokes you* <> - - - - - -*giggles shyly* 1601 - -THE MEWWY WIVES OF UwU WINDSOW - -;;w;; by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -SIW JOHN FAWSTAFF -F-FENTON, a young g-gentweman -SHAWWOW, a :33 countwy j-justice -*giggles shyly* SWENDEW, cousin to Shawwow - -Gentwemen of Windsow -FOWD -PAGE -WIWWIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page -S-SIW HUGH EVANS, a Wewsh pawson -D-DOCTOW CAIUS, a Fwench physician -^-^ HOST of the Gawtew Inn - -Fowwowews of *hugs tightly* Fawstaff ->w< BAWDOWPH -PISTOW -N-NYM -W-WOBIN, p-page t-to >w< Fawstaff -SIMPWE, s-sewvant to Swendew -W-WUGBY, *cries* sewvant to Doctow C-Caius - -MISTWESS FOWD -MISTWESS PAGE -MISTWESS ANNyE PAGE, hew daughtew -MISTWESS QUICKWY, sewvant to Doctow Caius -SEWVANTS to Page, Fowd, etc. - - - - -<_< YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE O-ONWY, AND (2) AWE *pokes you* NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW *cuddles you* USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *giggles shyly* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY *screams* ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME *screams* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -S-SCENyE: -Windsow, *sighs* and the *screams* nyeighbouwhood - - -The Mewwy Wives *blushes* of *looks at you* Windsow - - - -ACT I. SCENyE 1. - -Windsow. Befowe PAGE'S house - -E-Entew JUSTICE SHAWWOW, SWENDEW, and S-SIW HUGH EVANS - -SHAWWOW. Siw Hugh, pewsuade me nyot; I wiww make a Staw -Chambew mattew of it; if he wewe :33 twenty *twerks* Siw John Fawstaffs, -he shaww nyot abuse Wobewt Shawwow, :33 esquiwe. -SWENDEW. In the county of Gwoucestew, Justice OwO of Peace, and -Cowam. -SHAWWOW. Ay, cousin Swendew, and Custawowum. -SWENDEW. Ay, *teleports behind you* and Watowowum too; >_> and a gentweman bown, -Mastew Pawson, who wwites *giggles shyly* himsewf 'Awmigewo' i-in any *giggles shyly* biww, -wawwant, quittance, ow *looks away* obwigation-'Awmigewo.' -SHAWWOW. Ay, that I-I do; a-and have donye any t-time *blushes* these thwee -hundwed yeaws. -SWENDEW. Aww his successows, gonye befowe him, hath d-donye't; -and aww his ancestows, that *leans over* come aftew h-him, m-may: they may -give t-the dozen white wuces in theiw coat. -x3 SHAWWOW. *hugs tightly* It is an ^.^ owd coat. -^-^ EVANS. The dozen w-white wouses do become UwU an owd coat *notices bulge* weww; -i-it a-agwees weww, passant; it is a-a famiwiaw beast to man, and -signyifies wove. -SHAWWOW. The *cries* wuce *looks at you* is the fwesh fish; the sawt *hugs tightly* fish is an owd -*cries* coat. -SWENDEW. I may quawtew, coz. -S-SHAWWOW. You :33 may, by mawwying. -EVANS. It is m-mawwing indeed, if he quawtew *notices bulge* it. -SHAWWOW. *hugs tightly* Nyot a whit. -EVANS. Yes, py'w wady! If *blushes* he has a quawtew of youw coat, thewe -is but t-thwee skiwts fow *moans* youwsewf, in my s-simpwe conjectuwes; -but that is aww onye. If Siw *hugs tightly* John Fawstaff have committed -dispawagements unto you, I am of the chuwch, and wiww *sighs* be -gwad to do my benyevowence, t-to make atonyements a-and -compwemises between you. -SHAWWOW. T-The Counciw shaww heaw i-it; it is a-a wiot. -*cuddles you* EVANS. It is n-nyot meet the Counciw heaw a wiot; thewe i-is nyo -feaw of Got in a-a wiot; the C-Counciw, wook you, shaww desiwe -to heaw the feaw of Got, and nyot to heaw a wiot; take youw -vizaments in t-that. -SHAWWOW. H-Ha! o' my wife, if *sweats* I wewe young again, the swowd -shouwd end it. -EVANS. It *hugs tightly* is pettew that fwiends is the swowd and end xDD it; -and thewe is a-awso anyothew device in my pwain, which -pewadventuwe pwings goot discwetions with xDD it. Thewe is Annye -Page, :33 which is daughtew to Mastew Geowge Page, which is -pwetty viwginyity. -SWENDEW. Mistwess Annye *pokes you* Page? ^.^ She has *screams* bwown haiw, and -speaks smaww wike a woman. -EVANS. It is t-that *cuddles you* fewy p-pewson fow aww the owwd, as just as you -w-wiww desiwe; and *twerks* seven hundwed p-pounds of monyeys, and -gowd, and siwvew, is hew gwandsiwe uWu upon his death's-bed-Got -dewivew to a j-joyfuw w-wesuwwections!-give, when she is abwe t-to -ovewtake seventeen *shuffles closer* yeaws owd. *cuddles you* It wewe a goot *hugs tightly* motion if *pokes you* we -weave ouw pwibbwes and pwabbwes, and desiwe a mawwiage -*looks away* between Mastew Abwaham a-and Mistwess Annye Page. -*pokes you* SHAWWOW. Did hew g-gwandsiwe weave hew *cries* seven hundwed *cuddles you* pound? -EVANS. Ay, and hew fathew is m-make hew a pettew x3 penny. -^.^ SHAWWOW. I *screams* knyow the young *cries* gentwewoman; she has good -gifts. -EVANS. Seven hundwed pounds, and possibiwities, *giggles shyly* is goot gifts. -SHAWWOW. Weww, wet us *blushes* see honyest Mastew *blushes* Page. Is F-Fawstaff -thewe? -EVANS. Shaww I teww you a-a wie? I do despise a wiaw a-as I *twerks* do -*twerks* despise o-onye that is fawse; x3 ow a-as *leans over* I *sweats* despise onye t-that xDD is uWu nyot -twue. T-The knyight ^-^ Siw John is t-thewe; and, I beseech you, be -wuwed by *looks at you* youw weww-wiwwews. I-I wiww peat the doow fow Mastew -Page. -[Knyocks] W-What, hoa! Got p-pwess youw house hewe! -PAGE. [Within] Who's thewe? - -Entew PAGE - -*twerks* EVANS. Hewe is Got's pwessing, and youw fwiend, and Justice -Shawwow; and hewe x3 young Mastew S-Swendew, that pewadventuwes -shaww teww you anyothew tawe, UwU if mattews gwow to youw -wikings. -P-PAGE. I am gwad to see youw wowships weww. I thank you fow -my :3 venyison, Mastew Shawwow. -;;w;; SHAWWOW. Mastew Page, I am gwad to see you; much g-good do -it youw good h-heawt! *blushes* I w-wish'd youw venyison ^.^ bettew; it was iww -kiww'd. How doth *looks away* good Mistwess Page?-and *hugs tightly* I thank you -awways with my h-heawt, wa! with *leans over* my heawt. -PAGE. Siw, >w< I thank y-you. -SHAWWOW. Siw, I thank you; by yea and nyo, I do. -PAGE. I-I am gwad *leans over* to UwU see you, good Mastew Swendew. -SWENDEW. H-How d-does youw fawwow gweyhound, *blushes* siw? I heawd :33 say -he was outwun on Cotsaww. -UwU PAGE. It :33 couwd nyot be j-judg'd, siw. -SWENDEW. *shuffles closer* You'ww nyot confess, you'ww nyot confess. -SHAWWOW. That he wiww nyot. 'Tis y-youw fauwt; 'tis youw fauwt; -'-'tis a *notices bulge* good ^w^ dog. -PAGE. A-A cuw, siw. ->_< SHAWWOW. Siw, he's a-a good dog, and a *hugs tightly* faiw dog. Can thewe be -m-mowe said? *looks away* He is g-good, and faiw. I-Is Siw John Fawstaff h-hewe? -PAGE. Siw, he *cries* is within; and I wouwd I couwd do a g-good office -between you. -EVANS. It i-is spoke as a Chwistians ought to speak. -SHAWWOW. H-He h-hath wwong'd ^w^ me, Mastew Page. -PAGE. S-Siw, he d-doth i-in some s-sowt c-confess it. -SHAWWOW. If ^w^ it be c-confessed, it is nyot w-wedwessed; is nyot that -so, Mastew P-Page? He *notices bulge* hath wwong'd me; i-indeed h-he hath; at a -wowd, *cries* he hath, bewieve UwU me; Wobewt Shawwow, esquiwe, saith -he is w-wwonged. -PAGE. Hewe comes Siw John. - -E-Entew SIW JOHN FAWSTAFF, B-BAWDOWPH, NYM, and PISTOW - -FAWSTAFF. Nyow, M-Mastew Shawwow, you'ww compwain of me to -the King? -:33 SHAWWOW. Knyight, you have beaten *cries* my men, ^w^ kiww'd my deew, -and bwoke open my wodge. -FAWSTAFF. But *sweats* nyot kiss'd youw keepew's daughtew. -SHAWWOW. >_< Tut, x3 a pin! this *notices bulge* shaww be answew'd. -FAWSTAFF. I w-wiww *twerks* answew *hugs tightly* it stwaight: *pokes you* I have donye >_> aww t-this. -That is nyow >_> answew'd. -SHAWWOW. The Counciw shaww knyow this. -FAWSTAFF. 'Twewe b-bettew fow you i-if it wewe knyown in counsew: -you'ww be waugh'd at. -EVANS. *pokes you* Pauca v-vewba, Siw John; goot wowts. -FAWSTAFF. Good wowts! g-good cabbage! Swendew, I *moans* bwoke youw -*notices bulge* head; what ^.^ mattew h-have you a-against me? -SWENDEW. Mawwy, siw, I have *sighs* mattew in my head against *looks at you* you; -and against youw cony-catching wascaws, Bawdowph, Nym, -and Pistow. They cawwied me to the t-tavewn, and m-made me -dwunk, and aftewwawds pick'd >w< my pocket. -x3 BAWDOWPH. Y-You *moans* Banbuwy cheese! -SWENDEW. Ay, it is nyo mattew. -PISTOW. How n-nyow, Mephostophiwus! -SWENDEW. *sighs* Ay, it i-is nyo mattew. -NYM. Swice, >_> I say! uWu pauca, *sweats* pauca; swice! That's my humouw. -SWENDEW. *moans* Whewe's Simpwe, my man? Can *cries* you *sighs* teww, ^w^ cousin? -EVANS. *pokes you* Peace, I pway you. *leans over* Nyow wet us *giggles shyly* undewstand. Thewe i-is -thwee umpiwes in this mattew, as I undewstand: that is, ->_< Mastew Page, fidewicet Mastew Page; and thewe is mysewf, -fidewicet mysewf; and the *sighs* thwee pawty is, >_< wastwy and -finyawwy, minye host of the Gawtew. -PAGE. We >w< thwee t-to heaw it and *sighs* end it uWu between them. -EVANS. Fewy goot. I wiww make a pwief of it i-in my nyote-book; -and we wiww *sighs* aftewwawds *cries* owk upon the cause w-with :3 as gweat -discweetwy as we can. -F-FAWSTAFF. Pistow! -P-PISTOW. He heaws with eaws. -EVANS. The teviw and his tam! What phwase is this, 'He heaws -with eaw'? >_> Why, it >_> is affectations. -FAWSTAFF. Pistow, did you pick Mastew Swendew's puwse? -SWENDEW. Ay, >_> by these gwoves, did he-ow I-I wouwd I *blushes* might -nyevew come in minye own gweat chambew again ewse!-of -seven gwoats >_< in miww-sixpences, and two Edwawd -shovew-boawds that cost m-me two shiwwing and two pence apiece -of Y-Yead Miwwew, by t-these g-gwoves. -FAWSTAFF. Is this twue, Pistow? -EVANS. xDD Nyo, it is fawse, *looks away* if it :3 is ^.^ a *blushes* pick-puwse. -P-PISTOW. Ha, thou m-mountain-foweignyew! Siw John and mastew -minye, -I combat chawwenge of t-this watten *twerks* biwbo. -Wowd of denyiaw *sighs* in thy wabwas hewe! -Wowd o-of denyiaw! F-Fwoth and scum, t-thou w-wiest. -SWENDEW. *sweats* By these gwoves, then, 'twas he. -NYM. Be avis'd, siw, and pass good humouws; I wiww say -'mawwy t-twap' >_> with you, if you wun the nyuthook's humouw on -UwU me; that is the vewy n-nyote of it. -SWENDEW. By this hat, then, he i-in *cuddles you* the wed f-face had it; f-fow -though ^.^ I *looks at you* cannyot wemembew what I did w-when you m-made me -dwunk, yet I OwO am nyot awtogethew an ass. -FAWSTAFF. What say you, :3 Scawwet and J-John? -BAWDOWPH. Why, siw, fow my pawt, I *giggles shyly* say the gentweman had -d-dwunk x3 himsewf out of his five s-sentences. -EVANS. I-It *giggles shyly* is his five senses; fie, w-what the *screams* ignyowance is! -BAWDOWPH. And being fap, siw, was, as ^.^ they say, cashiew'd; -and so ^.^ concwusions *sighs* pass'd the caweews. -SWENDEW. *shuffles closer* Ay, you spake in Watin then too; but 'tis nyo mattew; -I'ww *looks at you* nye'ew be dwunk whiwst ^w^ I *cries* wive again, but in honyest, -civiw, godwy company, fow this twick. If I be dwunk, I'ww be -dwunk with those that h-have the feaw of *giggles shyly* God, and nyot with -dwunken knyaves. -EVANS. So Got udge :33 me, that is a OwO viwtuous mind. -FAWSTAFF. You heaw aww these mattews d-denyi'd, g-gentwemen; you -heaw it. - -Entew MISTWESS ANNyE PAGE with *cries* winye; MISTWESS -FOWD *cuddles you* and MISTWESS PAGE, fowwowing - -P-PAGE. Nyay, daughtew, cawwy *sighs* the winye in; w-we'ww x3 dwink within. -Exit ANNyE *leans over* PAGE -SWENDEW. O ^w^ heaven! this is Mistwess A-Annye Page. -PAGE. How nyow, Mistwess *moans* Fowd! -FAWSTAFF. Mistwess Fowd, b-by my t-twoth, you awe v-vewy *cries* weww -met; *screams* by y-youw weave, *hugs tightly* good mistwess. [Kisses hew] -PAGE. Wife, bid these gentwemen wewcome. Come, we have a -*cries* hot venyison p-pasty to dinnyew; come, gentwemen, I hope we -shaww dwink down aww unkindnyess. -Exeunt aww but S-SHAWWOW, SWENDEW, and EVANS -SWENDEW. OwO I had w-wathew *pokes you* than fowty shiwwings I had m-my *giggles shyly* Book of -Songs and Sonnyets hewe. - -Entew S-SIMPWE - -How, *cries* Simpwe! Whewe have you been? I must wait on -mysewf, must I? You have *giggles shyly* nyot the *leans over* Book of Widdwes about you, -have you? -SIMPWE. Book of *notices bulge* Widdwes! Why, did you nyot xDD wend it to Awice -Showtcake upon Awwhawwowmas wast, a fowtnyight afowe -Michaewmas? -*shuffles closer* SHAWWOW. C-Come, *notices bulge* coz; come, coz; we s-stay fow you. A-A wowd -with you, coz; mawwy, this, coz: thewe is, as 'twewe, a -tendew, a kind of tendew, made afaw off by >_< Siw Hugh hewe. *sighs* Do -*moans* you UwU undewstand me? -^w^ SWENDEW. Ay, siw, you shaww find me weasonyabwe; if it be so, I -shaww do t-that that is weason. -SHAWWOW. Nyay, but undewstand me. -*looks at you* SWENDEW. So I do, s-siw. -EVANS. Give eaw t-to his m-motions: Mastew Swendew, I *giggles shyly* wiww -descwiption *teleports behind you* the m-mattew to you, if you be capacity o-of it. -SWENDEW. N-Nyay, I wiww do a-as my cousin Shawwow says; ^-^ I pway -you pawdon me; he's a justice of peace in his countwy, -s-simpwe though I stand h-hewe. -EVANS. But that *sighs* is :33 nyot t-the question. ^.^ The *cuddles you* question UwU is -concewnying y-youw *hugs tightly* mawwiage. -SHAWWOW. Ay, t-thewe's the point, siw. -EVANS. Mawwy is it; *shuffles closer* the v-vewy point of ^-^ it; to Mistwess Annye -*moans* Page. -*pokes you* SWENDEW. x3 Why, if it *leans over* be so, I wiww mawwy hew upon a-any -weasonyabwe demands. -EVANS. But c-can y-you affection the oman? Wet *notices bulge* us command to -k-knyow that of youw mouth ow of youw w-wips; fow divews phiwosophews -howd that the wips is pawcew of the mouth. T-Thewefowe, -*cries* pwecisewy, c-can *cuddles you* you :3 cawwy ^-^ youw g-good wiww to the m-maid? -SHAWWOW. Cousin Abwaham Swendew, can y-you *looks at you* wove hew? -SWENDEW. I hope, siw, I w-wiww do as it shaww become onye that -w-wouwd do weason. -EVANS. Nyay, *twerks* Got's wowds *notices bulge* and h-his wadies! you must speak possitabwe, -if you can cawwy hew youw desiwes towawds h-hew. -SHAWWOW. That you UwU must. Wiww you, upon g-good d-dowwy, -mawwy hew? -SWENDEW. xDD I ^-^ wiww do a gweatew thing t-than that upon youw *sighs* wequest, -cousin, in any weason. -SHAWWOW. *leans over* Nyay, conceive me, conceive :3 me, sweet coz; what -I do i-is to pweasuwe you, c-coz. Can you wove *pokes you* the maid? -SWENDEW. I wiww mawwy h-hew, siw, at youw wequest; but if thewe -be *moans* nyo g-gweat wove in the beginnying, y-yet heaven may d-decwease -*looks at you* it upon >_> bettew a-acquaintance, when we awe mawwied and -have mowe occasion to knyow onye anyothew. I hope upon -famiwiawity wiww gwow m-mowe contempt. But *hugs tightly* if you *screams* say -'mawwy ^.^ hew,' I-I wiww m-mawwy hew; that I am fweewy d-dissowved, -and dissowutewy. -EVANS. It is a-a fewy discwetion a-answew, save the faww is in the -owd 'dissowutewy': the owt is, accowding to ouw meanying, -;;w;; 'wesowutewy'; h-his meanying i-is ^w^ good. -SHAWWOW. Ay, I >w< think my cousin :33 meant weww. -UwU SWENDEW. Ay, ow ewse I wouwd I *giggles shyly* might be hang'd, wa! - -We-entew ANNyE PAGE - -*sighs* SHAWWOW. Hewe comes faiw M-Mistwess Annye. Wouwd I wewe -y-young fow youw sake, M-Mistwess A-Annye! -ANNyE. The d-dinnyew is on the tabwe; my fathew desiwes >w< youw -wowships' company. -*moans* SHAWWOW. I-I wiww wait *looks at you* on *shuffles closer* him, f-faiw M-Mistwess Annye! -EVANS. >_> Od's pwessed wiww! I wiww nyot be absence at the gwace. -E-Exeunt SHAWWOW and EVANS -ANNyE. :3 Wiww't pwease youw wowship t-to c-come i-in, siw? -SWENDEW. Nyo, I thank y-you, *notices bulge* fowsooth, heawtiwy; *giggles shyly* I am vewy -weww. -ANNyE. The >w< dinnyew a-attends you, siw. -SWENDEW. I am nyot a-hungwy, I *cries* thank you, f-fowsooth. Go, -*looks at you* siwwah, ^-^ fow uWu aww you awe my man, go wait upon my cousin -OwO Shawwow. [Exit SIMPWE] *cuddles you* A justice of peace sometime may -be *pokes you* behowding to his *cries* fwiend fow xDD a man. x3 I keep x3 but ^-^ thwee *sighs* men -and a boy yet, tiww *teleports behind you* my mothew b-be dead. *cuddles you* But what though? -Yet I *looks away* wive wike a poow gentweman bown. -ANNyE. I may nyot go in without youw wowship; they wiww n-nyot -sit tiww you come. -S-SWENDEW. I' faith, I'ww eat nyothing; I thank you as much as -:33 though I did. -ANNyE. I pway you, siw, wawk >_< in. -SWENDEW. I *hugs tightly* had wathew wawk hewe, I thank you. I bwuis'd my -shin th' othew day with pwaying a-at *hugs tightly* swowd and daggew with -a mastew of *twerks* fence-thwee venyeys fow a dish *giggles shyly* of *sweats* stew'd pwunyes --and, I with my wawd d-defending my head, he hot m-my shin, -and, b-by OwO my twoth, I cannyot abide the smeww of hot *looks away* meat -since. Why do youw dogs b-bawk *cries* so? Be thewe beaws i' t-th' -town? -A-ANNyE. I think thewe OwO awe, siw; :33 I heawd :33 them tawk'd of. -SWENDEW. I wove the spowt weww; but I *sighs* shaww *notices bulge* as soon ;;w;; quawwew at -it *twerks* as any man in Engwand. You a-awe afwaid, if you see the -b-beaw woose, awe x3 you n-nyot? -A-ANNyE. Ay, indeed, siw. -SWENDEW. That's meat and dwink to me nyow. I have seen -Sackewson woose twenty times, and have taken him by ^.^ the -chain; but I wawwant *notices bulge* you, the women have *sighs* so cwied and -shwiek'd at it that it pass'd; but women, indeed, cannyot -abide 'em; t-they awe vewy iww-favouw'd wough things. - -We-entew PAGE - -PAGE. Come, gentwe Mastew Swendew, come; we stay fow you. -SWENDEW. I'ww e-eat nyothing, I thank you, siw. -PAGE. *cries* By cock and >_> pie, you shaww nyot choose, *looks at you* siw! Come, -c-come. -SWENDEW. Nyay, pway you wead the way. -PAGE. Come on, siw. -SWENDEW. Mistwess Annye, youwsewf shaww g-go fiwst. -ANNyE. Nyot I, siw; pway *sweats* you *sweats* keep on. -S-SWENDEW. Twuwy, :3 I wiww nyot go f-fiwst; twuwy, wa! I w-wiww nyot do -*giggles shyly* you that wwong. -A-ANNyE. I p-pway y-you, siw. -S-SWENDEW. I'ww wathew be unmannyewwy than twoubwesome. You -do y-youwsewf wwong indeed, w-wa! Exeunt - - - - -*pokes you* SCENyE 2. - -B-Befowe PAGE'S house - -E-Entew SIW >_< HUGH *blushes* EVANS and SIMPWE - -EVANS. ^-^ Go youw ways, a-and ask of Doctow Caius' h-house which -is the way; and t-thewe dwewws *shuffles closer* onye Mistwess Quickwy, *looks away* which -is in the mannyew of his nyuwse, ow his d-dwy nyuwse, *blushes* ow his cook, -o-ow his waundwy, h-his washew, and his wwingew. -SIMPWE. Weww, s-siw. -E-EVANS. Nyay, it *looks at you* is p-pettew *looks at you* yet. Give hew this wettew; *giggles shyly* fow it is a -oman :33 that awtogethew's acquaintance with Mistwess Annye -Page; and the wettew *cries* is to desiwe and *screams* wequiwe hew to sowicit -youw mastew's desiwes to Mistwess Annye Page. I pway you -be gonye. I wiww make an e-end of my dinnyew; thewe's pippins -and cheese to come. *cuddles you* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -The ^w^ Gawtew Inn - -Entew F-FAWSTAFF, *moans* HOST, BAWDOWPH, NYM, PISTOW, and WOBIN - -FAWSTAFF. *notices bulge* Minye host of the Gawtew! -HOST. What says my buwwy *hugs tightly* wook? Speak s-schowawwy and -wisewy. -FAWSTAFF. Twuwy, ;;w;; minye host, I OwO must t-tuwn away some of my -fowwowews. -HOST. Discawd, buwwy Hewcuwes; *teleports behind you* cashiew; wet them wag; twot, -t-twot. -FAWSTAFF. I sit a-at >_< ten pounds a w-week. -HOST. *shuffles closer* Thou'wt *leans over* an empewow-Caesaw, Keisew, and Pheazaw. I -wiww entewtain Bawdowph; *leans over* he shaww dwaw, he shaww tap; said I -weww, buwwy *looks away* Hectow? -FAWSTAFF. Do so, good minye host. -HOST. I have spoke; wet him fowwow. ;;w;; [To BAWDOWPH] x3 Wet m-me -see thee fwoth and wime. I am at a wowd; f-fowwow. Exit HOST -FAWSTAFF. Bawdowph, fowwow him. A tapstew is a good twade; -UwU an owd cwoak makes a-a nyew jewkin; *shuffles closer* a w-withew'd sewving-man a -f-fwesh *notices bulge* tapstew. Go; >w< adieu. -BAWDOWPH. It is a wife that I-I h-have desiw'd; I wiww thwive. -PISTOW. O base ^-^ Hungawian wight! Wiwt thou the spigot -*sweats* wiewd? Exit BAWDOWPH -^w^ NYM. He was gotten in dwink. Is nyot the humouw conceited? -FAWSTAFF. I am gwad I am so *looks away* acquit of this t-tindew-box: h-his -thefts wewe too open; his fiwching w-was OwO wike an unskiwfuw -singew-he kept *teleports behind you* nyot time. -NYM. The good h-humouw *leans over* is to steaw at a-a minyute's west. -*shuffles closer* PISTOW. 'Convey' the wise *cuddles you* it caww. 'Steaw' foh! A-A fico f-fow the -phwase! -FAWSTAFF. Weww, siws, I am awmost out at heews. -PISTOW. Why, >w< then, wet k-kibes e-ensue. -FAWSTAFF. Thewe is n-nyo wemedy; I must cony-catch; x3 I must -*cuddles you* shift. -PISTOW. Young wavens must have food. -FAWSTAFF. Which of you knyow *cuddles you* Fowd ;;w;; of UwU this town? -PISTOW. I *blushes* ken the wight; he is of substance good. -FAWSTAFF. M-My honyest wads, I wiww teww you what uWu I am about. -*cries* PISTOW. Two yawds, and mowe. -FAWSTAFF. Nyo quips nyow, Pistow. Indeed, I a-am ^-^ in t-the *giggles shyly* waist -two yawds about; but xDD I am nyow *cries* about nyo waste; I a-am about -t-thwift. Bwiefwy, *blushes* I d-do *hugs tightly* mean to make wove *moans* to Fowd's wife; I -spy e-entewtainment in hew; she discouwses, she ^w^ cawves, s-she -gives the UwU weew of invitation; I can constwue the action of hew -famiwiaw *blushes* stywe; and t-the hawdest *screams* voice of *notices bulge* hew behaviouw, to be -Engwish'd wightwy, is '-'I am Siw J-John Fawstaff's.' -PISTOW. He hath studied >_> hew weww, and twanswated *sweats* hew wiww *cries* out -;;w;; of *screams* honyesty into Engwish. -NYM. The *cuddles you* anchow i-is deep; wiww that humouw pass? -FAWSTAFF. Nyow, the wepowt ;;w;; goes she has aww the wuwe of hew -husband's p-puwse; he hath a wegion of angews. -PISTOW. A-As m-many *hugs tightly* deviws entewtain; and 'To hew, boy,' say I. -N-NYM. The humouw wises; it is good; humouw OwO me the angews. -F-FAWSTAFF. I have wwit m-me h-hewe a wettew to hew; and h-hewe -anyothew to Page's wife, who even nyow gave me good eyes -too, examin'd m-my pawts with most judicious oeiwwades; -sometimes *cuddles you* the ^-^ beam of h-hew view giwded my f-foot, sometimes ^-^ my -powtwy *cries* bewwy. -PISTOW. Then *sighs* did the s-sun on dunghiww uWu shinye. -NYM. I thank thee fow that *twerks* humouw. -FAWSTAFF. O, ^.^ she did ^w^ so couwse o'ew my extewiows OwO with such -a-a gweedy intention t-that :33 the appetite of hew OwO eye did seem to -*screams* scowch me up w-wike a b-buwnying-gwass! Hewe's anyothew *pokes you* wettew to -hew. S-She beaws the puwse ^.^ too; she is a wegion i-in Guianya, a-aww -gowd a-and bounty. I wiww be c-cheatews to them *looks at you* both, and *leans over* they -shaww b-be exchequews to me; they shaww be my East and West -Indies, and *teleports behind you* I wiww twade *notices bulge* to them both. Go, beaw thou this -w-wettew to Mistwess Page; and t-thou this to Mistwess Fowd. W-We -wiww thwive, wads, xDD we wiww thwive. -PISTOW. Shaww I-I *notices bulge* Siw Pandawus o-of *screams* Twoy uWu become, -And *sweats* by >w< my side weaw steew? Then Wucifew >w< take a-aww! -NYM. I wiww wun xDD nyo base humouw. *hugs tightly* Hewe, take the -h-humouw-wettew; I wiww *cries* keep t-the haviouw of weputation. -FAWSTAFF. [To WOBIN] Howd, s-siwwah; beaw you these wettews -tightwy; -Saiw wike my p-pinnyace to these gowden showes. -Wogues, hence, avaunt! vanyish wike *sweats* haiwstonyes, *cries* go; -Twudge, pwod away i' th' hoof; seek shewtew, pack! -Fawstaff wiww weawn t-the h-humouw ^w^ of >w< the age; -Fwench thwift, you wogues; mysewf, a-and skiwted p-page. -Exeunt FAWSTAFF *moans* and WOBIN -PISTOW. Wet vuwtuwes gwipe t-thy guts! fow gouwd and fuwwam -h-howds, -And h-high and *giggles shyly* wow beguiwes the wich and poow; -Testew I'ww have in pouch when t-thou shawt *sighs* wack, -Base P-Phwygian Tuwk! -NYM. I have o-opewations i-in my head *pokes you* which be humouws of -wevenge. -PISTOW. Wiwt thou wevenge? -NYM. By wewkin *pokes you* and hew s-staw! -PISTOW. With wit ow *blushes* steew? -N-NYM. W-With both the humouws, I. -I wiww discuss the h-humouw ^w^ of this wove to Page. -*teleports behind you* PISTOW. And I to Fowd shaww eke unfowd -H-How Fawstaff, ^.^ vawwet viwe, -His d-dove wiww p-pwove, *shuffles closer* his gowd wiww howd, -And his s-soft x3 couch defiwe. -NYM. My humouw shaww nyot coow; *leans over* I wiww i-incense ^-^ Page to deaw -with p-poison; I w-wiww possess h-him with yewwownyess; fow the -wevowt o-of minye is :3 dangewous. That is m-my twue humouw. -PISTOW. Thou awt the Maws of m-mawcontents; I second thee; -twoop on. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -DOCTOW ;;w;; CAIUS'S h-house - -Entew MISTWESS QUICKWY, S-SIMPWE, and W-WUGBY - -QUICKWY. What, John Wugby! I pway t-thee go t-to the casement -and see if you can see m-my mastew, Mastew Doctow -Caius, coming. If he *blushes* do, i' faith, and find a-anybody in *moans* the -house, hewe wiww be an owd abusing of God's patience and -the King's Engwish. -W-WUGBY. I'ww go watch. -QUICKWY. Go; and we'ww have a posset fow't soon at nyight, i-in -faith, at the >w< wattew end of a ^w^ sea-coaw f-fiwe. [Exit *sweats* WUGBY] An -honyest, wiwwing, kind fewwow, as evew sewvant s-shaww come in -house *moans* withaw; a-and, I w-wawwant you, nyo teww-tawe nyow nyo -bweed-bate; his w-wowst >w< fauwt is that he *blushes* is UwU given to *pokes you* pwayew; *giggles shyly* he is -something *blushes* peevish that *screams* way; but nyobody but has his fauwt; -but wet that pass. Petew Simpwe you say youw nyame is? -SIMPWE. Ay, fow fauwt of a-a bettew. -QUICKWY. And Mastew Swendew's youw m-mastew? -SIMPWE. A-Ay, fowsooth. -QUICKWY. D-Does OwO he n-nyot weaw a gweat wound beawd, wike a -gwovew's pawing-knyife? -SIMPWE. Nyo, fowsooth; *giggles shyly* he hath but >_> a wittwe whey face, :3 with a -wittwe yewwow b-beawd, a C-Cain-cowouw'd beawd. -xDD QUICKWY. A softwy-spwighted man, is he nyot? -SIMPWE. Ay, fowsooth; but he is as *pokes you* taww a man of his hands :3 as -any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a -wawwenyew. -Q-QUICKWY. H-How say you? O, I shouwd w-wemembew him. Does -*looks at you* he *screams* nyot *looks away* howd up h-his *teleports behind you* head, as it wewe, and stwut in his g-gait? -SIMPWE. Y-Yes, indeed, does h-he. -QUICKWY. :3 Weww, heaven send Annye Page nyo wowse fowtunye! -Teww Mastew Pawson E-Evans *leans over* I wiww do what I *blushes* can *leans over* fow youw -mastew. Annye is a good *hugs tightly* giww, ;;w;; and I wish- - -W-We-entew WUGBY - -*hugs tightly* WUGBY. Out, awas! hewe c-comes uWu my mastew. -Q-QUICKWY. We shaww aww be shent. W-Wun in hewe, good young -m-man; *cuddles you* go into t-this cwoset. [Shuts >w< SIMPWE i-in xDD the cwoset] He -wiww nyot stay wong. What, John Wugby! John! w-what, John, -I ^.^ say! Go, John, g-go inquiwe fow my mastew; I *leans over* doubt *leans over* he be -nyot weww t-that he comes nyot home. [Singing] -*pokes you* And *teleports behind you* down, down, *cries* adown-a, etc. - -*blushes* Entew DOCTOW CAIUS - -CAIUS. Vat is *sighs* you sing? I do nyot *twerks* wike UwU des toys. Pway you, go -and v-vetch me in my cwoset un boitiew *pokes you* vewt-a box, a gween-a -^.^ box. Do intend vat :3 I *pokes you* speak? A gween-a box. -QUICKWY. Ay, *cuddles you* fowsooth, I-I'ww fetch it you. [Aside] I am *cuddles you* gwad -he ^w^ went nyot in h-himsewf; if he xDD had found the young *cuddles you* man, -h-he wouwd have *notices bulge* been hown-mad. -C-CAIUS. Fe, fe, fe f-fe! ma foi, i-iw fait fowt c-chaud. Je :33 m'en vais a-a -wa couw-wa gwande affaiwe. -QUICKWY. Is it this, siw? -CAIUS. Oui; mette we au mon p-pocket: depeche, quickwy. Vewe -is dat knyave, Wugby? -*sweats* QUICKWY. What, *cries* John W-Wugby? *cuddles you* John! -WUGBY. Hewe, *cuddles you* siw. -*cuddles you* CAIUS. You awe John Wugby, and you awe Jack Wugby. -Come, take-a uWu youw wapiew, and come aftew my h-heew to the -couwt. -WUGBY. 'Tis weady, siw, h-hewe in the powch. -C-CAIUS. By *looks at you* my UwU twot, I tawwy t-too wong. *sighs* Od's me! Qu'ai *shuffles closer* j'oubwie? -D-Dewe i-is some s-simpwes in m-my cwoset d-dat >_< I viww nyot fow the -UwU vawwd uWu I shaww weave behind. -*teleports behind you* QUICKWY. Ay *giggles shyly* me, >_< he'ww find *twerks* the young *pokes you* man thewe, *twerks* and b-be -mad! -CAIUS. O *shuffles closer* diabwe, d-diabwe! vat is in my >_> cwoset? V-Viwwainy! w-wawwon! -[Puwwing *hugs tightly* SIMPWE out] Wugby, my wapiew! -Q-QUICKWY. Good mastew, be content. -CAIUS. *moans* Whewefowe s-shaww I be content-a? -QUICKWY. The young man is an honyest m-man. -CAIUS. What shaww de honyest man uWu do *notices bulge* in my cwoset? x3 Dewe is -nyo *teleports behind you* honyest man dat uWu shaww c-come in my cwoset. -QUICKWY. I beseech you, *teleports behind you* be n-nyot *shuffles closer* so ^-^ phwegmatic; *teleports behind you* heaw the -twuth o-of it. H-He came of an ewwand to me ^.^ fwom Pawson ^-^ Hugh. -CAIUS. Veww? -SIMPWE. Ay, fowsooth, to desiwe *cries* hew xDD to- -QUICKWY. Peace, I pway you. -CAIUS. >_< Peace-a youw tongue. Speak-a *screams* youw tawe. -UwU SIMPWE. *looks at you* To desiwe this honyest gentwewoman, y-youw >w< maid, to -speak a good wowd to *hugs tightly* Mistwess *twerks* Annye Page ^.^ fow my mastew, -in the way of mawwiage. -QUICKWY. This is a-aww, indeed, wa! but I'ww nye'ew *giggles shyly* put my f-fingew -in the fiwe, a-and UwU nyeed nyot. -OwO CAIUS. *hugs tightly* Siw H-Hugh send-a you? uWu Wugby, baiwwez me some papew. -Tawwy you a wittwe-a-whiwe. [Wwites] -QUICKWY. [Aside to SIMPWE] I am gwad h-he is so quiet; if ^w^ he -*teleports behind you* had b-been *cries* thwoughwy moved, you shouwd have heawd him -s-so woud and so mewanchowy. But nyotwithstanding, :33 man, I'ww -d-do y-you youw mastew what *twerks* good *looks away* I can; and the *looks away* vewy y-yea and -the nyo is, the Fwench doctow, m-my mastew-I may caww *cries* him -my mastew, wook *sweats* you, fow I *hugs tightly* keep his house; *hugs tightly* and I wash, -w-wwing, bwew, bake, scouw, dwess meat and dwink, make the -*notices bulge* beds, *cries* and do aww *cuddles you* mysewf- -SIMPWE. [Aside to QUICKWY] 'Tis a-a g-gweat chawge t-to c-come -undew onye body's hand. -QUICKWY. [Aside to SIMPWE] *sweats* Awe you avis'd o' that? You -s-shaww find i-it a *looks away* gweat chawge; and to be up eawwy and down -w-wate; but *looks away* nyotwithstanding-to t-teww you in youw eaw, I wouwd -have nyo wowds *screams* of it-my mastew himsewf is in wove with -Mistwess Annye Page; b-but nyotwithstanding OwO that, I-I knyow -*looks at you* Annye's mind-that's *blushes* nyeithew hewe nyow thewe. -CAIUS. *sighs* You jack'nyape; give-a this wettew to Siw H-Hugh; by gaw, -it is a-a shawwenge; I *shuffles closer* wiww cut h-his twoat in ^-^ de pawk; and I w-wiww -teach a scuwvy jack-a-nyape pwiest *blushes* to m-meddwe ow m-make. Y-You -may be gonye; it is nyot good you tawwy hewe. By *sweats* gaw, I wiww -cut *sighs* aww his two s-stonyes; by gaw, he s-shaww nyot have a stonye -to thwow at his dog. Exit SIMPWE -QUICKWY. Awas, he speaks but fow his fwiend. -CAIUS. It is *sweats* nyo mattew-a vew dat. Do nyot you teww-a m-me uWu dat *twerks* I -shaww have A-Annye Page xDD fow mysewf? By gaw, I v-viww kiww de *screams* Jack -pwiest; and I have appointed minye host of d-de Jawteew to -measuwe *looks away* ouw weapon. By gaw, I w-wiww mysewf have Annye -Page. -QUICKWY. Siw, the maid woves you, and aww uWu shaww b-be weww. ;;w;; We -must give fowks weave to pwate. What the good-yeaw! -CAIUS. Wugby, *looks at you* come to OwO the *cuddles you* couwt with me. >_< By gaw, if I have -nyot Annye Page, I shaww tuwn youw head o-out of m-my doow. -Fowwow my heews, W-Wugby. Exeunt CAIUS a-and WUGBY -QUICKWY. You s-shaww have-An foow's-head of youw own. Nyo, -I-I knyow ^.^ Annye's mind fow that; *cuddles you* nyevew a woman in Windsow -*sweats* knyows mowe of Annye's mind than I do; nyow can do mowe -than I *screams* do with hew, I thank heaven. -FENTON. [Within] Who's w-within thewe? *pokes you* ho! -QUICKWY. W-Who's thewe, I twow? Come nyeaw the house, I pway -you. - -E-Entew F-FENTON - -FENTON. How nyow, g-good woman, how ;;w;; dost thou? -QUICKWY. The bettew >_> that *moans* it pweases youw good wowship to -ask. -FENTON. What nyews? How d-does pwetty Mistwess Annye? -QUICKWY. In *teleports behind you* twuth, UwU siw, and she *blushes* is pwetty, *shuffles closer* and h-honyest, and -gentwe; and onye that is *sweats* youw fwiend, ^-^ I can teww you that by -the way; I p-pwaise heaven fow it. -FENTON. Shaww I-I do any good, think'st t-thou? Shaww I nyot wose -my suit? -QUICKWY. Twoth, siw, aww is in >_< His *moans* hands above; but -n-nyotwithstanding, Mastew Fenton, I'ww be s-swown o-on a book -she woves you. Have nyot youw wowship a wawt above youw e-eye? -FENTON. Yes, mawwy, have I; what of that? -*twerks* QUICKWY. W-Weww, theweby ^-^ hangs a tawe; g-good faith, it is such -a-anyothew *looks away* Nyan; but, I detest, an honyest maid as evew bwoke -bwead. We had an houw's tawk of that wawt; I s-shaww *cuddles you* nyevew -w-waugh *shuffles closer* but in t-that *shuffles closer* maid's company! But, indeed, she *sighs* is -given t-too much to a-awwichowy and m-musing; OwO but fow you-weww, -go to. -FENTON. Weww, I :33 shaww see hew to-day. Howd, thewe's monyey -*pokes you* fow *cuddles you* thee; wet me have thy voice in my b-behawf. ;;w;; If thou seest -hew befowe me, commend me. -Q-QUICKWY. Wiww I? I' faith, that we wiww; and I wiww teww youw -wowship mowe of the wawt the *notices bulge* nyext t-time w-we have c-confidence; -and of othew *teleports behind you* wooews. -FENTON. Weww, faweweww; I am in gweat haste n-nyow. -QUICKWY. Faweweww t-to y-youw *sweats* wowship. *cries* [Exit *sweats* FENTON] Twuwy, -an *looks at you* honyest gentweman; but Annye woves him n-nyot; xDD fow I *blushes* knyow -Annye's mind as >_< weww as anyothew does. *looks away* Out upon 't, *leans over* what -have I fowgot? *sighs* Exit - - - - -<w< GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE *moans* WEADABWE x3 COPIES *pokes you* MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG A-AS SUCH ^-^ COPIES (1) AWE *leans over* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) :33 AWE N-NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -xDD COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE uWu THAT CHAWGES FOW D-DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE 1-1. - -Befowe PAGE'S house - -*twerks* Entew MISTWESS OwO PAGE, with a wettew - -MWS. PAGE. What! have I scap'd wove-wettews in the howiday-time -of my beauty, and am *looks away* I nyow a-a subject fow them? Wet -m-me see. [Weads] -'Ask m-me n-nyo *sweats* weason why I-I wove you; fow t-though Wove use -Weason fow his pwecisian, he admits him nyot fow his *cries* counsewwow. -Y-You awe nyot young, >_< nyo *looks away* mowe am I; go to, then, thewe's -sympathy. You awe x3 mewwy, s-so ^-^ am I-I; *cries* ha! h-ha! *leans over* then x3 thewe's -mowe sympathy. You wove sack, and so do I; wouwd >_> you -desiwe bettew sympathy? *screams* Wet it suffice thee, Mistwess Page -at the weast, if the wove of ;;w;; sowdiew can suffice-that I wove -thee. I wiww *hugs tightly* nyot say, Pity me: 'tis nyot *blushes* a sowdiew-wike :33 phwase; -but I-I say, Wove me. B-By m-me, -Thinye own *giggles shyly* twue knyight, -By day ow nyight, -*notices bulge* Ow any k-kind >_< of wight, -With aww his might, -F-Fow thee *notices bulge* to fight, -*leans over* JOHN F-FAWSTAFF.' -What a Hewod of J-Jewwy ;;w;; is this! O-O wicked, wicked wowwd! -Onye t-that i-is weww-nyigh *cries* wown to pieces w-with age to show -*cuddles you* himsewf a *blushes* young gawwant! What an *shuffles closer* unweighed behaviouw -hath this F-Fwemish dwunkawd pick'd-with the deviw's nyame! --out of my convewsation, that he ^w^ dawes in t-this mannyew -assay me? Why, h-he *hugs tightly* hath *moans* nyot been thwice in my c-company! -What shouwd I say t-to ;;w;; him? I was then fwugaw of my miwth. -Heaven fowgive me! Why, I-I'ww e-exhibit ;;w;; a biww in the pawwiament -fow the putting down of men. How s-shaww I be -w-weveng'd on him? fow weveng'd *sighs* I wiww be, *cries* as suwe a-as his g-guts ->_< awe *giggles shyly* made of puddings. - -Entew MISTWESS FOWD - -MWS. xDD FOWD. Mistwess Page! twust me, I was going to youw -*teleports behind you* house. -*teleports behind you* MWS. PAGE. And, twust me, I was coming t-to y-you. You wook -vewy iww. -MWS. FOWD. N-Nyay, I'ww nye'ew bewieve that; I h-have to show to -*shuffles closer* the contwawy. -MWS. PAGE. Faith, but you do, in *leans over* my mind. -MWS. FOWD. Weww, I *moans* do, then; yet, I-I *shuffles closer* say, I couwd show you to -the contwawy. O Mistwess *pokes you* Page, give me some *hugs tightly* counsew. -MWS. P-PAGE. What's the mattew, woman? -MWS. F-FOWD. O w-woman, if it *pokes you* wewe n-nyot :33 fow onye *teleports behind you* twifwing wespect, -I couwd c-come to s-such honyouw! -MWS. PAGE. Hang the :33 twifwe, woman; >w< take the honyouw. What -is it? Dispense *notices bulge* with t-twifwes; what is *notices bulge* it? -MWS. FOWD. If I wouwd but go to heww fow an etewnyaw moment -ow so, I couwd *hugs tightly* be knyighted. -MWS. PAGE. What? Thou *looks away* wiest. Siw Awice Fowd! These knyights -wiww hack; and so thou shouwdst nyot awtew the awticwe of thy -g-gentwy. -MWS. *notices bulge* FOWD. ^-^ We buwn daywight. Hewe, wead, wead; p-pewceive -how I might be knyighted. I shaww think the wowse of fat -men a-as wong a-as I-I have an eye *sweats* to make diffewence of men's -wiking. :33 And yet he wouwd nyot sweaw; pwais'd women's -modesty, and gave *teleports behind you* such owdewwy and weww-behaved wepwoof -to aww uncomewinyess *cries* that I wouwd have ^-^ swown his disposition -wouwd have gonye to the uWu twuth of his wowds; but they do nyo -mowe adhewe and keep pwace togethew than the Hundwedth -Psawm to the tunye of 'Gweensweeves.' What tempest, I twow, -xDD thwew this whawe, with so many tuns of oiw in his bewwy, -ashowe a-at Windsow? How shaww I be wevenged on him? I -think UwU the ^-^ best w-way wewe to entewtain him *pokes you* with hope, tiww -the wicked fiwe of wust >w< have mewted :3 him in his own gwease. -*shuffles closer* Did you evew heaw the wike? -MWS. *notices bulge* PAGE. Wettew fow w-wettew, but that the nyame of Page UwU and -Fowd diffews. To thy gweat comfowt in this mystewy of iww -opinyions, uWu hewe's the t-twin-bwothew of thy wettew; but wet thinye -inhewit fiwst, f-fow, I xDD pwotest, minye nyevew shaww. I-I wawwant he -hath a thousand *leans over* of t-these x3 wettews, wwit with b-bwank space fow -diffewent n-nyames-suwe, mowe!-and these awe of the second -edition. *twerks* He wiww pwint them, out o-of doubt; *sighs* fow he cawes nyot -what he puts into the pwess when he wouwd put us two. I -h-had wathew be a giantess and wie >w< undew Mount Pewion. Weww, -I-I wiww find *giggles shyly* you *shuffles closer* twenty wascivious t-tuwtwes OwO ewe *giggles shyly* onye chaste -man. -MWS. FOWD. Why, t-this uWu is the *screams* vewy s-same; *cuddles you* the vewy hand, ^.^ the -:33 vewy w-wowds. *looks away* What doth he ^w^ think of us? -MWS. PAGE. ^.^ Nyay, *cuddles you* I knyow nyot; it m-makes me a-awmost weady to -wwangwe with m-minye *looks at you* own honyesty. I'ww entewtain mysewf wike -x3 onye :33 that I :3 am nyot *giggles shyly* acquainted withaw; f-fow, s-suwe, *shuffles closer* unwess OwO he -knyow some ^-^ stwain in me that I knyow nyot m-mysewf, he wouwd -nyevew have b-boawded m-me in this f-fuwy. -*cuddles you* MWS. F-FOWD. 'Boawding' OwO caww you it? I-I'ww be suwe to k-keep x3 him -above deck. -MWS. PAGE. So wiww I; if he come undew my hatches, I-I'ww >w< nyevew -t-to sea again. Wet's be :3 weveng'd on *looks away* him; wet's appoint *looks at you* him a -meeting, give h-him a show of comfowt in his suit, ^.^ and wead -h-him on with a finye-baited deway, tiww he >_> hath pawn'd his -howses to minye host o-of the Gawtew. -MWS. *hugs tightly* FOWD. Nyay, I wiww consent to a-act any viwwainy a-against -him that may nyot suwwy the *moans* chawinyess o-of ouw honyesty. O -that my husband saw this w-wettew! It w-wouwd give e-etewnyaw food -to his jeawousy. -MWS. PAGE. Why, wook whewe he comes; *moans* and my good man -OwO too; he's as faw fwom jeawousy a-as I :33 am fwom ^.^ giving h-him -cause; and *looks at you* that, I hope, i-is an *looks away* unmeasuwabwe distance. -M-MWS. FOWD. You awe the happiew woman. -MWS. PAGE. Wet's consuwt togethew against this gweasy knyight. -Come hithew. [They w-wetiwe] - -Entew FOWD with PISTOW, and P-PAGE with Nym - -FOWD. OwO Weww, I-I uWu hope it be nyot *notices bulge* so. -PISTOW. >_> Hope is a cuwtaw dog in some affaiws. -Siw John affects thy :33 wife. -F-FOWD. Why, siw, my wife is nyot young. -x3 PISTOW. H-He woos both high OwO and wow, both wich and poow, -Both *looks at you* young a-and owd, onye w-with anyothew, Fowd; -He woves *leans over* the g-gawwimaufwy. Fowd, p-pewpend. -*cuddles you* FOWD. Wove my wife! -PISTOW. With wivew buwnying hot. Pwevent, ow go *blushes* thou, -Wike Siw Actaeon he, with W-Wingwood at thy heews. -O, *cries* odious is the nyame! -FOWD. What nyame, siw? -PISTOW. The hown, I-I say. Faweweww. -Take heed, have ^w^ open ^.^ eye, fow thieves do foot by nyight; -Take h-heed, ewe summew comes, ow cuckoo biwds do sing. -Away, Siw *shuffles closer* Cowpowaw *cries* Nym. ->_< Bewieve it, Page; he speaks sense. Exit PISTOW -FOWD. [Aside] I wiww be patient; I wiww find out this. -NYM. [To PAGE] And this i-is twue; I wike n-nyot the humouw of -wying. He hath wwonged me in some humouws; I shouwd -have >_> bownye the humouw'd *moans* wettew to hew; but I ^.^ have :33 a swowd, -a-and it shaww bite upon my nyecessity. H-He woves youw :3 wife; -thewe's the showt and the wong. -My nyame UwU is *looks away* Cowpowaw xDD Nym; I *giggles shyly* speak, *looks away* and I a-avouch; -'Tis twue. My nyame i-is Nym, and Fawstaff woves youw wife. -Adieu! ^w^ I wove nyot the humouw of bwead and cheese; and -thewe's the humouw of *teleports behind you* it. Adieu. Exit N-Nym -PAGE. 'The humouw o-of it,' quoth 'a! Hewe's a fewwow fwights -Engwish out o-of his wits. -FOWD. I wiww seek o-out Fawstaff. -PAGE. :3 I nyevew heawd such a >w< dwawwing, affecting wogue. -FOWD. If I do find it-weww. -PAGE. I wiww nyot bewieve such a-a Cataian *pokes you* though t-the pwiest o' -th' town commended him fow a t-twue *giggles shyly* man. -FOWD. 'Twas a good sensibwe fewwow. *sweats* Weww. - -MISTWESS PAGE and ;;w;; MISTWESS FOWD come fowwawd - -PAGE. How :3 nyow, Meg! -M-MWS. PAGE. Whithew >_> go y-you, Geowge? Hawk you. -MWS. FOWD. How nyow, sweet *sighs* Fwank, w-why awt thou mewanchowy? -FOWD. I mewanchowy! I-I am n-nyot m-mewanchowy. Get *leans over* you home; -go. -MWS. FOWD. Faith, thou hast some cwotchets in thy head >_< nyow. -Wiww you ;;w;; go, Mistwess :3 Page? - -Entew MISTWESS *looks away* QUICKWY - -MWS. PAGE. Have with uWu you. You'ww c-come to *screams* dinnyew, Geowge? -[Aside to xDD MWS. F-FOWD] *moans* Wook *sighs* who c-comes yondew; s-she s-shaww -be ouw messengew *cries* to t-this pawtwy knyight. -*leans over* MWS. F-FOWD. [Aside uWu to MWS. PAGE] Twust >w< me, I thought on -hew; she'ww fit it. -MWS. PAGE. You awe *shuffles closer* come t-to see my *teleports behind you* daughtew Annye? -QUICKWY. Ay, fowsooth; and, I p-pway, how d-does good Mistwess Annye? -MWS. PAGE. G-Go in with us a-and s-see; we have an *screams* houw's tawk -with you. Exeunt MISTWESS PAGE, MISTWESS FOWD, and -MISTWESS QUICKWY -PAGE. *notices bulge* How nyow, Mastew Fowd! -FOWD. You heawd what t-this knyave towd me, did you nyot? -P-PAGE. Y-Yes; and you *sweats* heawd what the othew towd me? -FOWD. Do you think thewe is twuth *notices bulge* in x3 them? -PAGE. H-Hang 'em, swaves! I do n-nyot think t-the knyight wouwd o-offew it; -*sweats* but these that accuse him in h-his intent towawds ouw -wives awe a yoke of his discawded men; vewy w-wogues, xDD nyow -they be out o-of sewvice. -FOWD. Wewe they his m-men? -PAGE. Mawwy, xDD wewe t-they. -FOWD. I wike it *pokes you* nyevew the bettew fow that. Does he wie at the -Gawtew? -P-PAGE. Ay, mawwy, does he. If he shouwd >_> intend this voyage -OwO towawd my wife, I wouwd tuwn hew woose t-to him; and what -he gets m-mowe of hew than shawp wowds, *giggles shyly* wet it wie on my head. -F-FOWD. I do nyot misdoubt my w-wife; but I wouwd be woath *blushes* to -tuwn them togethew. A man ^-^ may be t-too confident. I wouwd -have nyothing wie on m-my head. I cannyot be thus s-satisfied. - -Entew H-HOST - -PAGE. Wook whewe m-my wanting host o-of the Gawtew comes. -*leans over* Thewe is eithew wiquow in his pate ow *screams* monyey in his puwse -w-when he *pokes you* wooks so mewwiwy. How n-nyow, minye host! -HOST. How nyow, buwwy wook! Thou'wt a-a g-gentweman. [To -SHAWWOW fowwowing] Cavaweiwo *teleports behind you* Justice, I-I say. - -Entew S-SHAWWOW - -SHAWWOW. I fowwow, minye *leans over* host, I fowwow. Good even and -*hugs tightly* twenty, good Mastew Page! M-Mastew Page, wiww *notices bulge* you go with -us? *leans over* We have spowt i-in hand. -H-HOST. Teww him, Cavaweiwo *notices bulge* Justice; teww him, *hugs tightly* buwwy wook. -SHAWWOW. Siw, thewe is a-a fway to be >_> fought between uWu Siw *screams* Hugh -*hugs tightly* the Wewsh pwiest and C-Caius the Fwench >_< doctow. -FOWD. Good minye host o' th' Gawtew, a wowd with *pokes you* you. -HOST. What say'st thou, my *screams* buwwy wook? *blushes* [They go aside] -SHAWWOW. [-[To >_< PAGE] *pokes you* Wiww >w< you go with us to >_< behowd it? My -mewwy h-host hath h-had the *cuddles you* measuwing of theiw weapons; and, -xDD I *cuddles you* think, hath a-appointed them uWu contwawy pwaces; fow, bewieve -me, I-I heaw the pawson is nyo jestew. OwO Hawk, >w< I wiww teww you -what o-ouw spowt shaww be. [They convewse apawt] -HOST. ^.^ Hast thou nyo suit against my knyight, my guest-cavaweiwo. -FOWD. Nyonye, I pwotest; but I'ww give you a pottwe of buwnt -sack to give me wecouwse to him, and teww him *looks away* my nyame is -Bwook-onwy fow a jest. -HOST. M-My hand, buwwy; >_< thou shawt ;;w;; have *cries* egwess a-and wegwess- -said I weww?-and thy nyame shaww *blushes* be B-Bwook. It *pokes you* is a *cuddles you* mewwy -knyight. Wiww you g-go, Mynheews? -*giggles shyly* SHAWWOW. OwO Have with you, minye host. -PAGE. *giggles shyly* I *leans over* have heawd t-the Fwenchman hath *shuffles closer* good skiww i-in his -w-wapiew. -SHAWWOW. Tut, siw, *screams* I couwd have towd you mowe. In ^.^ these -times you stand on d-distance, *shuffles closer* youw passes, stoccadoes, and -I k-knyow nyot what. *teleports behind you* 'Tis the *twerks* heawt, Mastew Page; 'tis *blushes* hewe, -'tis h-hewe. I h-have seen the time *sighs* with my wong swowd I-I wouwd -have made you f-fouw *twerks* taww fewwows skip wike wats. -H-HOST. >_> Hewe, boys, hewe, hewe! S-Shaww we wag? -PAGE. H-Have with you. I-I had wathew heaw t-them scowd than -fight. E-Exeunt aww but FOWD -FOWD. Though Page *screams* be a secuwe foow, and stands so fiwmwy on -his wife's f-fwaiwty, yet >w< I c-cannyot put off my opinyion s-so -*shuffles closer* easiwy. She was in h-his company >w< at Page's h-house, and w-what -they m-made thewe I *looks away* knyow nyot. Weww, I wiww *cuddles you* wook fuwthew into -x3 't, a-and I have a disguise to sound Fawstaff. If I *looks at you* find hew -*looks away* honyest, I w-wose n-nyot m-my wabouw; if s-she be othewwise, 'tis xDD wabouw -w-weww bestowed. Exit - - - - -S-SCENyE *cuddles you* 2. - -*cries* A woom in the Gawtew Inn - -Entew FAWSTAFF a-and PISTOW - -F-FAWSTAFF. I wiww nyot >_< wend thee a penny. -PISTOW. I wiww *shuffles closer* wetowt the sum in equipage. -FAWSTAFF. Nyot a p-penny. -P-PISTOW. *cuddles you* Why, then t-the ^-^ wowwd's minye *screams* oystew. Which I *hugs tightly* with -swowd wiww open. -FAWSTAFF. N-Nyot uWu a penny. I uWu have been content, siw, you shouwd -way m-my countenyance to pawn. I-I have gwated upon *cries* my g-good -f-fwiends f-fow thwee wepwieves fow y-you and youw c-coach-fewwow, -Nym; ow ^w^ ewse y-you had wook'd thwough the gwate, wike a -geminy of ^w^ baboons. I am *sighs* damn'd in heww OwO fow sweawing to -gentwemen my fwiends you wewe good sowdiews and taww fewwows; -and when Mistwess OwO Bwidget wost the handwe of hew fan, ->w< I took *blushes* 't upon minye *giggles shyly* honyouw thou hadst it nyot. -PISTOW. Didst nyot thou s-shawe? Hadst thou nyot fifteen pence? -F-FAWSTAFF. Weason, you wogue, weason. Think'st thou I'ww -endangew m-my souw *cries* gwatis? At a w-wowd, hang nyo mowe about me, -I am nyo gibbet fow you. Go-a showt knyife and a-a thwong!- -to youw manyow of Pickt-hatch; x3 go. You'ww nyot beaw a wettew -fow me, you wogue! You stand upon y-youw honyouw! Why, -thou unconfinyabwe b-basenyess, it is as much *hugs tightly* as I can do to -keep the tewms of my honyouw pwecise. I, I, I mysewf -sometimes, weaving the feaw of God on the weft hand, and hiding -minye h-honyouw in my nyecessity, am *twerks* fain x3 to shuffwe, to h-hedge, -and to wuwch; and x3 yet you, wogue, *teleports behind you* wiww ensconce xDD youw *cuddles you* wags, -y-youw cat-a-mountain wooks, youw wed-wattice *cries* phwases, and -youw bowd-beating oaths, u-undew the shewtew of youw honyouw! -You wiww nyot do it, you! -PISTOW. I d-do wewent; w-what wouwd thou mowe of man? - -*looks at you* Entew W-WOBIN - -WOBIN. Siw, hewe's a woman w-wouwd speak with you. -FAWSTAFF. W-Wet ^w^ hew appwoach. - -Entew MISTWESS *sweats* QUICKWY - -*sweats* QUICKWY. Give youw wowship good mowwow. -FAWSTAFF. *blushes* Good mowwow, good w-wife. -QUICKWY. Nyot so, an't pwease youw w-wowship. -FAWSTAFF. G-Good maid, then. -QUICKWY. I'ww be swown; -As *sweats* my mothew was, the fiwst houw I was b-bown. -FAWSTAFF. I do b-bewieve the sweawew. What with *leans over* me? -QUICKWY. Shaww I-I vouchsafe >_> youw w-wowship a wowd ow >w< two? ->w< FAWSTAFF. Two t-thousand, f-faiw w-woman; and I'ww v-vouchsafe -thee the heawing. -QUICKWY. Thewe is onye Mistwess Fowd, siw-I pway, c-come a wittwe -n-nyeawew this ways. I-I m-mysewf dweww with Mastew Doctow -Caius. -FAWSTAFF. Weww, on: Mistwess Fowd, y-you say- -QUICKWY. Youw w-wowship says vewy twue. I pway youw wowship -come a wittwe nyeawew this ways. -FAWSTAFF. I *cries* wawwant thee nyobody h-heaws-minye own peopwe, -minye own peopwe. -QUICKWY. Awe t-they so? God bwess *looks away* them, and make them *notices bulge* his -*looks at you* sewvants! -FAWSTAFF. Weww; Mistwess Fowd, what *sighs* of hew? -QUICKWY. W-Why, s-siw, she's a good cweatuwe. *giggles shyly* Wowd, W-Wowd, youw -wowship's a wanton! Weww, h-heaven fowgive you, and aww of -us, I OwO pway. -FAWSTAFF. Mistwess F-Fowd; ^.^ come, Mistwess Fowd- -QUICKWY. *giggles shyly* Mawwy, this is t-the showt and the *screams* wong of it: UwU you -have bwought hew into such a-a canyawies as 'tis *giggles shyly* wondewfuw. -The b-best couwtiew of them a-aww, when the couwt way at Windsow, -*looks at you* couwd nyevew have bwought h-hew to *sweats* such a canyawy. Yet -thewe has been knyights, a-and wowds, and gentwemen, with -t-theiw coaches; I wawwant you, coach a-aftew coach, wettew aftew -wettew, gift aftew *moans* gift; smewwing s-so *moans* sweetwy, a-aww musk, a-and so -*leans over* wushwing, I wawwant you, *moans* in siwk UwU and g-gowd; and in such awwigant -tewms; *giggles shyly* and in such winye and sugaw >_> of the best and the -faiwest, that ;;w;; wouwd h-have won any w-woman's heawt; a-and I -wawwant you, they couwd nyevew get an eye-wink of hew. -I had mysewf t-twenty *looks at you* angews given me this ;;w;; mownying; *hugs tightly* but I-I -defy aww angews, in any such sowt, a-as t-they say, but in the -way of h-honyesty; and, I wawwant you, they couwd nyevew *shuffles closer* get -hew so much as sip on a cup with the ^.^ pwoudest of them aww; -and yet *looks away* thewe has been eawws, nyay, which is mowe, -pensionyews; b-but, I wawwant you, aww is onye *leans over* with hew. -FAWSTAFF. But what says she to me? Be *twerks* bwief, my good she- -*cuddles you* Mewcuwy. -Q-QUICKWY. Mawwy, she hath weceiv'd *notices bulge* youw wettew; fow the -which she thanks you a thousand :33 times; a-and she gives you -to UwU nyotify that hew husband w-wiww b-be a-absence fwom ;;w;; his h-house -between ten and eweven. -FAWSTAFF. T-Ten *hugs tightly* and >_< eweven? -QUICKWY. Ay, fowsooth; and then you may come and see -the p-pictuwe, she ^-^ says, that you wot of. M-Mastew Fowd, hew -*twerks* husband, w-wiww b-be fwom *cries* home. Awas, the sweet *moans* woman weads -an iww wife with him! He's a vewy xDD jeawousy *notices bulge* man; she weads *screams* a -vewy fwampowd w-wife with him, g-good heawt. -F-FAWSTAFF. Ten and eweven. Woman, commend me to hew; I -wiww n-nyot faiw hew. -QUICKWY. Why, you say weww. But I h-have anyothew messengew -to youw wowship. Mistwess *leans over* Page hath hew heawty commendations -to you too; a-and wet me teww *looks at you* you in youw eaw, she's as -fawtuous a civiw modest wife, and onye, I teww you, that wiww -nyot >_> miss you mownying nyow evenying pwayew, as any is in -W-Windsow, whoe'ew be the othew; and >w< she bade me t-teww youw -wowship that hew husband is *leans over* sewdom *blushes* fwom home, but she -hopes thewe *leans over* wiww come a time. I nyevew knyew a w-woman so -*cuddles you* dote upon a man: s-suwewy I think y-you have chawms, wa! Yes, -in twuth. -*cuddles you* FAWSTAFF. N-Nyot *teleports behind you* I, *shuffles closer* I assuwe t-thee; setting the *cuddles you* attwaction of my -good p-pawts aside, I-I have nyo othew chawms. -:33 QUICKWY. Bwessing on *hugs tightly* youw heawt fow 't! -FAWSTAFF. But, I-I pway t-thee, teww me this: has Fowd's wife and -Page's wife acquainted *shuffles closer* each othew ;;w;; how they wove me? -QUICKWY. *blushes* That wewe ;;w;; a jest indeed! They ;;w;; have nyot so wittwe -gwace, I hope-that w-wewe a twick indeed! But Mistwess Page -wouwd *shuffles closer* desiwe you *pokes you* to send hew youw wittwe page of aww woves. -Hew husband has a mawvewwous *moans* infection to the wittwe page; -and *screams* twuwy Mastew Page is an honyest man. Nyevew *cries* a wife in -Windsow weads a bettew wife than she does; :33 do what she wiww, -say what she wiww, t-take aww, pay *sweats* aww, go >_> to bed when ^-^ she -wist, wise when UwU she wist, *sweats* aww is *teleports behind you* as she wiww; and twuwy she -d-desewves it; fow if thewe be a kind woman in Windsow, *moans* she -is o-onye. You m-must send hew youw page; nyo w-wemedy. -FAWSTAFF. Why, *screams* I *cries* wiww. -QUICKWY. N-Nyay, ^w^ but d-do ;;w;; so t-then; and, wook you, he m-may come -and go between y-you both; and in >_> any case *notices bulge* have a -*notices bulge* nyay-wowd, that you may knyow onye anyothew's mind, *giggles shyly* and *cries* the boy -^-^ nyevew >_> nyeed to undewstand any ^w^ thing; fow 'tis nyot good that -chiwdwen shouwd knyow any wickednyess. Owd fowks, you -knyow, have discwetion, a-as they say, and knyow the wowwd. -FAWSTAFF. Fawe t-thee weww; c-commend me to them both. -Thewe's my puwse; I am yet thy debtow. Boy, go awong with -this woman. [Exeunt Q-QUICKWY and *looks away* WOBIN] *shuffles closer* This nyews -distwacts me. -PISTOW. [Aside] x3 This punk ^-^ is onye o-of Cupid's cawwiews; -Cwap *sweats* on mowe saiws; puwsue; u-up with youw fights; -G-Give fiwe; she is my pwize, o-ow *twerks* ocean whewm them aww! Exit -FAWSTAFF. Say'st thou so, owd Jack; go thy ways; I'ww m-make -mowe of thy ^w^ owd b-body than I :33 have donye. W-Wiww they *hugs tightly* yet wook -aftew thee? Wiwt thou, aftew the expense *twerks* of UwU so much *blushes* monyey, -be nyow a-a gainyew? Good body, I-I thank thee. Wet them say -;;w;; 'tis >_< gwosswy donye; so it be faiwwy donye, nyo mattew. - -E-Entew BAWDOWPH - -BAWDOWPH. Siw *looks away* John, thewe's onye Mastew Bwook bewow wouwd -fain speak with you, and be acquainted *giggles shyly* with you; and hath -sent youw wowship a moming's dwaught >_> of sack. -FAWSTAFF. >w< Bwook *pokes you* is his nyame? -*hugs tightly* BAWDOWPH. Ay, siw. -FAWSTAFF. Caww h-him in. [Exit BAWDOWPH] ;;w;; Such Bwooks a-awe -w-wewcome to me, that o'ewfwows such wiquow. *screams* Ah, ha! Mistwess -Fowd *moans* and *looks away* Mistwess Page, have I encompass'd you? Go t-to; -via! - -W-We-entew BAWDOWPH, w-with FOWD disguised - -FOWD. Bwess you, ;;w;; siw! -x3 FAWSTAFF. *giggles shyly* And y-you, siw! Wouwd you speak *blushes* with m-me? -FOWD. I m-make bowd to pwess with so wittwe pwepawation upon -you. -FAWSTAFF. You'we wewcome. What's OwO youw wiww? uWu Give u-us weave, -d-dwawew. Exit B-BAWDOWPH -FOWD. Siw, I am a g-gentweman t-that have spent much; m-my nyame -*twerks* is Bwook. -FAWSTAFF. Good uWu Mastew Bwook, I desiwe mowe acquaintance -of you. -FOWD. Good Siw John, I sue fow ;;w;; youws-nyot to chawge you; fow I -*twerks* must wet you *leans over* undewstand I *cries* think mysewf in bettew pwight *sweats* fow -a wendew than you awe; the which h-hath something -embowd'nyed me to this u-unseason'd intwusion; fow they say, i-if -m-monyey g-go befowe, aww ways do wie open. -FAWSTAFF. Monyey ^w^ is a *pokes you* good sowdiew, siw, and wiww on. -FOWD. Twoth, and I have a bag of monyey hewe twoubwes me; if -you wiww hewp to beaw it, *screams* Siw John, take aww, ow hawf, fow >w< easing -me of the *pokes you* cawwiage. -FAWSTAFF. Siw, I-I knyow nyot xDD how I may desewve >_> to be youw -powtew. -*looks away* FOWD. I wiww teww y-you, siw, if you wiww give me the heawing. -FAWSTAFF. Speak, good Mastew Bwook; I shaww be gwad to be -youw sewvant. -FOWD. Siw, I heaw you awe a schowaw-I wiww be ;;w;; bwief with you --and x3 you ^w^ have *looks at you* been a man wong knyown to me, though I -had nyevew so good means as desiwe to make mysewf acquainted -with you. I shaww discovew a thing to you, whewein -I must vewy much way open minye own impewfection; UwU but, -g-good Siw John, as you h-have onye eye *shuffles closer* upon >_> my fowwies, as you -h-heaw t-them unfowded, t-tuwn anyothew into the wegistew of youw -*cuddles you* own, that I may pass with a-a wepwoof the ^.^ easiew, sith you ->_> youwsewf k-knyow x3 how easy is i-it t-to be such an offendew. -FAWSTAFF. Vewy weww, siw; pwoceed. -FOWD. Thewe is a gentwewoman in this t-town, hew husband's -nyame is Fowd. -*cuddles you* FAWSTAFF. Weww, siw. -FOWD. I have *twerks* wong wov'd hew, and, I pwotest to you, bestowed -much on hew; fowwowed hew *cuddles you* with *leans over* a doting obsewvance; -e-engwoss'd oppowtunyities t-to meet h-hew; fee'd evewy swight occasion -that x3 couwd but nyiggawdwy give me sight of hew; nyot -onwy bought many *looks at you* pwesents t-to give hew, but have g-given -wawgewy *teleports behind you* to m-many to knyow what she wouwd have given; -bwiefwy, I-I have puwsu'd hew as wove hath puwsued me; w-which -hath been *leans over* on the wing of aww occasions. But whatsoevew I -have mewited, eithew in m-my *hugs tightly* mind ow *cries* in my means, meed, I -am suwe, I have w-weceived nyonye, unwess expewience be a j-jewew; -that I have puwchased at an infinyite wate, *cuddles you* and that h-hath -taught *notices bulge* me to say this: -'Wove *cuddles you* wike a s-shadow fwies w-when substance wove puwsues; -Puwsuing that that f-fwies, *sighs* and fwying w-what puwsues.' -FAWSTAFF. Have y-you weceiv'd nyo pwomise *sighs* of satisfaction >_< at -hew hands? -FOWD. Nyevew. -FAWSTAFF. Have you *pokes you* impowtun'd hew to such a puwpose? -FOWD. Nyevew. -FAWSTAFF. :3 Of what q-quawity was youw wove, then? -*cries* FOWD. Wike a faiw house buiwt on anyothew man's gwound; so -that *leans over* I have wost my x3 edifice by mistaking t-the pwace whewe -*looks away* ewected *cuddles you* it. -FAWSTAFF. To what puwpose have you unfowded this to me? -x3 FOWD. When I h-have towd you that, I have towd you aww. Some -say that though she appeaw honyest *screams* to me, yet i-in othew -pwaces she enwawgeth ^-^ hew *sweats* miwth so ^.^ faw *sweats* that thewe i-is *giggles shyly* shwewd -constwuction made of hew. Nyow, S-Siw John, hewe is the heawt -of my puwpose: you awe a *looks at you* gentweman of excewwent -bweeding, a-admiwabwe discouwse, of gweat *sighs* admittance, authentic in -youw >_> pwace and xDD pewson, g-genyewawwy awwow'd xDD fow youw many -*leans over* waw-wike, couwtwike, ^w^ and weawnyed pwepawations. -FAWSTAFF. *sweats* O, siw! -FOWD. Bewieve it, fow ;;w;; you knyow it. Thewe is monyey; spend it, -spend *pokes you* it; spend mowe; spend aww I have; onwy give me so -much xDD of youw time in *moans* exchange of it as to way an amiabwe -siege t-to the honyesty of this Fowd's wife; use youw awt of -wooing, win h-hew to consent to *looks at you* you; if any man m-may, *shuffles closer* you -may as ^-^ soon *sighs* as any. -FAWSTAFF. W-Wouwd *hugs tightly* it appwy weww t-to the vehemency of youw -affection, t-that I shouwd win what you wouwd enjoy? -Methinks you pwescwibe to youwsewf vewy pwepostewouswy. -F-FOWD. >_< O, undewstand UwU my d-dwift. *cries* She dwewws so secuwewy on *notices bulge* the -excewwency of hew honyouw that the fowwy of my souw dawes -nyot pwesent ^-^ itsewf; she is too bwight to be wook'd against. -N-Nyow, couwd I come to hew with any detection in my hand, -my desiwes had instance and awgument UwU to c-commend themsewves; -uWu I couwd dwive hew then fwom the w-wawd ^-^ of hew puwity, ->w< hew *twerks* weputation, hew mawwiage vow, and *looks at you* a thousand othew h-hew -defences, which nyow awe too too stwongwy embattw'd against -me. What say you to't, S-Siw *hugs tightly* John? -FAWSTAFF. Mastew Bwook, I wiww fiwst make bowd with youw -monyey; nyext, give me youw hand; and wast, as I am a gentweman, -you shaww, if you :33 wiww, enjoy Fowd's wife. -FOWD. O good *sweats* siw! -FAWSTAFF. I s-say y-you shaww. -FOWD. Want OwO nyo monyey, Siw John; you shaww want nyonye. -F-FAWSTAFF. W-Want xDD nyo Mistwess Fowd, Mastew Bwook; you shaww -want n-nyonye. I-I shaww *moans* be with h-hew, I-I *giggles shyly* may teww you, by hew own -appointment; even as *looks at you* you came in to me ^w^ hew assistant, ow -*cuddles you* go-between, *sighs* pawted fwom me; I say xDD I shaww be with hew between -ten and eweven; *cuddles you* fow at that time *blushes* the jeawous wascawwy -knyave, *notices bulge* hew husband, wiww be *moans* fowth. Come you to me at -;;w;; nyight; y-you shaww k-knyow how I speed. -FOWD. I UwU am bwest in youw acquaintance. Do ^-^ you knyow >_< Fowd, -S-Siw? -FAWSTAFF. Hang him, poow cuckowdwy knyave! I knyow him -nyot; *sweats* yet I wwong him *pokes you* to caww him poow; they say the -UwU jeawous wittowwy knyave hath masses of m-monyey; UwU fow the w-which -his OwO wife seems *teleports behind you* to me weww-favouw'd. I *looks away* wiww use hew as t-the -key :3 of the >w< cuckowdwy w-wogue's coffew; uWu and *pokes you* thewe's my hawvest-home. -FOWD. I wouwd you knyew *hugs tightly* Fowd, siw, that you might avoid him -if y-you saw him. -FAWSTAFF. Hang h-him, *giggles shyly* mechanyicaw sawt-buttew *hugs tightly* wogue! I-I wiww -s-stawe h-him out *shuffles closer* of his wits; ^w^ I wiww *sweats* awe him with my cudgew; -i-it shaww hang w-wike *twerks* a meteow *sweats* o'ew the cuckowd's howns. Mastew -Bwook, thou ^-^ shawt knyow I w-wiww pwedominyate ovew the -peasant, a-and thou shawt wie with *pokes you* his w-wife. Come to me soon at -nyight. *sweats* Fowd's a knyave, and I wiww aggwavate his stywe; thou, -Mastew Bwook, shawt *pokes you* knyow him fow knyave and cuckowd. -Come *pokes you* to me soon *screams* at nyight. Exit -FOWD. What a damn'd Epicuwean w-wascaw is this! My h-heawt is -weady to cwack with impatience. Who ^-^ says ;;w;; this is impwovident -jeawousy? *giggles shyly* My wife hath s-sent to him; *screams* the houw x3 is fix'd; -the match is made. Wouwd *looks away* any man have thought t-this? See -the ^w^ heww of having a f-fawse woman! My b-bed shaww be abus'd, -my coffews wansack'd, my weputation gnyawn at; and I-I shaww -*cuddles you* nyot o-onwy weceive this viwwainyous wwong, but stand undew the -adoption *cries* of abominyabwe tewms, and b-by him *teleports behind you* that does OwO me -this wwong. Tewms! n-nyames! xDD Amaimon sounds weww; Wucifew, -weww; Bawbason, weww; OwO yet they awe :3 deviws' *sighs* additions, the nyames -of uWu fiends. But cuckowd! *leans over* Wittow! Cuckowd! ^w^ the deviw himsewf -hath *moans* nyot ^.^ such a nyame. Page is an *leans over* ass, a secuwe ass; he wiww twust -UwU his wife; he wiww nyot *sweats* be jeawous; *blushes* I wiww wathew twust a Fweming -with my b-buttew, Pawson Hugh the Wewshman *pokes you* with my -cheese, an Iwishman with my aqua-vitae bottwe, ow a t-thief to -wawk my *giggles shyly* ambwing gewding, than my wife with *shuffles closer* hewsewf. Then -x3 she pwots, OwO then ^-^ she w-wuminyates, :33 then ^-^ she devises; and what -they think in theiw heawts *shuffles closer* they may effect, they wiww bweak -theiw *leans over* heawts but they wiww effect. God be pwais'd fow my -jeawousy! Eweven o'cwock the houw. I wiww pwevent this, detect -my wife, be weveng'd on F-Fawstaff, *notices bulge* and waugh *blushes* at Page. -I wiww about it; bettew thwee houws too soon than a minyute -too wate. F-Fie, *shuffles closer* fie, fie! c-cuckowd! cuckowd! cuckowd! *giggles shyly* Exit - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -*giggles shyly* A fiewd nyeaw Windsow - -x3 Entew CAIUS and WUGBY - -CAIUS. Jack Wugby! -WUGBY. Siw? -CAIUS. Vat is de cwock, Jack? -WUGBY. 'Tis past the houw, siw, that Siw H-Hugh pwomis'd to -meet. -CAIUS. By gaw, he has save his souw dat he i-is nyo come; OwO he has -pway his Pibwe weww dat he is nyo come; *sighs* by gaw, Jack Wugby, -*sweats* he i-is dead awweady, if he be come. -WUGBY. He is w-wise, siw; he knyew youw w-wowship wouwd kiww -him if he c-came. -CAIUS. B-By gaw, ^w^ de hewwing is nyo dead ;;w;; so as I viww k-kiww him. Take -youw *pokes you* wapiew, Jack; I x3 viww teww :3 you how I viww kiww him. -WUGBY. Awas, siw, I cannyot fence! -CAIUS. Viwwainy, take youw wapiew. -WUGBY. Fowbeaw; hewe's company. - -Entew HOST, SHAWWOW, x3 SWENDEW, and PAGE - -HOST. Bwess *twerks* thee, buwwy doctow! -S-SHAWWOW. Save you, Mastew Doctow Caius! -PAGE. Nyow, good :3 Mastew Doctow! -SWENDEW. Give *notices bulge* you good mowwow, *cuddles you* siw. -*sighs* CAIUS. Vat b-be a-aww x3 you, onye, two, twee, fouw, come fow? -H-HOST. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to *moans* see thee twavewse; -to see t-thee *looks at you* hewe, t-to see thee thewe; to see thee pass thy -punto, thy stock, thy wevewse, thy *looks away* distance, thy montant. -Is :3 he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fwancisco? Ha, -*teleports behind you* buwwy! What says m-my A-Aescuwapius? my Gawen? my heawt -of ewdew? >_< Ha! is he dead, buwwy s-stawe? Is >_> he dead? -C-CAIUS. By gaw, he >_< is x3 de c-cowawd Jack pwiest of *twerks* de wowwd; he *teleports behind you* is -nyot show his :3 face. -HOST. Thou awt a Castawion-King-Uwinyaw. *looks at you* Hectow o-of Gweece, -my x3 boy! -CAIUS. *shuffles closer* I p-pway y-you, beaw witnyess that me have stay six o-ow -seven, two twee houws fow him, and h-he is nyo come. -SHAWWOW. He i-is the >_< wisew man, Mastew D-Doctow: he is a c-cuwew -o-of souws, and y-you *cuddles you* a cuwew of bodies; if you shouwd fight, -UwU you g-go against t-the haiw of youw pwofessions. Is it >_> nyot >w< twue, -Mastew Page? -PAGE. Mastew Shawwow, you have youwsewf been a-a gweat fightew, -though n-nyow a man of peace. -SHAWWOW. Bodykins, Mastew Page, though I nyow be o-owd, a-and -of the peace, i-if I see a swowd out, >w< my fingew itches to make -*shuffles closer* onye. Though w-we awe justices, and doctows, and ^-^ chuwchmen, -Mastew Page, we h-have s-some sawt of >_< ouw youth *twerks* in us; we awe -the *giggles shyly* sons of women, Mastew Page. -PAGE. 'Tis :33 twue, Mastew *cries* Shawwow. -SHAWWOW. It wiww :33 be *giggles shyly* found so, M-Mastew Page. Mastew D-Doctow -:3 CAIUS, I *screams* come to fetch >_> you home. I am swown of the peace; -you have show'd youwsewf a *hugs tightly* wise >_> physician, and Siw Hugh -h-hath shown himsewf a *pokes you* wise uWu and patient chuwchman. You -*sweats* must go *shuffles closer* with me, Mastew *screams* Doctow. -HOST. Pawdon, Guest Justice. A wowd, Mounseuw Mockwatew. -CAIUS. Mock-vatew! Vat is dat? -HOST. Mockwatew, *sighs* in ouw Engwish tongue, is vawouw, buwwy. -CAIUS. ^-^ By gaw, *looks away* then I have as much mockvatew as de Engwishman. -Scuwvy jack-dog pwiest! By gaw, me viww cut his eaws. -HOST. H-He wiww >_< cwappew-cwaw thee tightwy, buwwy. -CAIUS. C-Cwappew-de-cwaw! Vat *pokes you* is d-dat? -HOST. That is, he wiww make thee a-amends. -CAIUS. By g-gaw, m-me do wook he shaww c-cwappew-de-cwaw me; fow, -by gaw, m-me viww have it. -^-^ HOST. And I wiww OwO pwovoke him to't, ow *looks away* wet him wag. -C-CAIUS. Me tank y-you fow dat. -HOST. And, moweovew, buwwy-but fiwst: [Aside to the othews] -Mastew Guest, and Mastew Page, and e-eke Cavaweiwo Swendew, -go you *blushes* thwough the town to Fwogmowe. -*leans over* PAGE. [Aside] Siw Hugh is thewe, is he? -HOST. [Aside] *moans* He i-is thewe. *looks away* See what humouw he is in; and -I wiww bwing the doctow about by the fiewds. W-Wiww it do weww? -SHAWWOW. [Aside] We wiww d-do *cuddles you* it. -PAGE, SHAWWOW, and SWENDEW. Adieu, good Mastew Doctow. -Exeunt PAGE, SHAWWOW, a-and S-SWENDEW -CAIUS. By gaw, me viww kiww de pwiest; fow he speak fow a jack- -an-ape to Annye Page. -HOST. Wet him die. Sheathe *giggles shyly* thy impatience; thwow cowd watew -on thy chowew; go about the *cuddles you* fiewds with *moans* me thwough Fwogmowe; -I-I *looks away* wiww bwing thee whewe >_> Mistwess *moans* Annye Page is, at a a -fawm-house, a-feasting; and thou s-shawt woo hew. Cwied -game! Said I weww? -CAIUS. By g-gaw, me dank you vow x3 dat; by *notices bulge* gaw, I w-wove *teleports behind you* you; and -I shaww pwocuwe-a you ^.^ de good guest, de eaww, de knyight, de -wowds, de gentwemen, my patients. -*cuddles you* HOST. Fow the *blushes* which I wiww be thy advewsawy :3 towawd Annye -Page. Said I weww? -CAIUS. By >_> gaw, 'tis good; *notices bulge* veww said. -HOST. Wet us wag, *pokes you* then. -CAIUS. Come a-at my heews, Jack uWu Wugby. Exeunt - - - - -*cries* <> - - - -ACT III SCENyE 1. - -A fiewd nyeaw >_> Fwogmowe - -Entew SIW HUGH EVANS and SIMPWE - -EVANS. I *sweats* pway you nyow, g-good Mastew Swendew's UwU sewving-man, -uWu and fwiend Simpwe by *cries* youw n-nyame, *moans* which *cuddles you* way have you -wook'd fow M-Mastew ^-^ Caius, that cawws himsewf Doctow of -Physic? -SIMPWE. Mawwy, siw, the pittie-wawd, the pawk-wawd; *blushes* evewy -way; owd Windsow way, and evewy way *hugs tightly* but t-the town way. -EVANS. ^.^ I most fehementwy desiwe you you w-wiww awso wook x3 that -*leans over* way. -SIMPWE. ^-^ I wiww, Siw. Exit -E-EVANS. P-Pwess *notices bulge* my souw, how f-fuww of ;;w;; chowwows I am, a-and twempwing -*teleports behind you* of mind! *shuffles closer* I shaww be gwad i-if he have deceived me. H-How -*pokes you* mewanchowies *sweats* I am! I wiww k-knyog his uwinyaws about his knyave's -c-costawd *pokes you* when I have *teleports behind you* goot oppowtunyities fow the owk. P-Pwess -my souw! [Sings] ->_< To ^-^ shawwow wivews, to whose *screams* fawws -Mewodious biwds sings madwigaws; -*pokes you* Thewe wiww *twerks* we make ouw peds of woses, -And a thousand fwagwant posies. -To shawwow- -Mewcy on me! I have a gweat UwU dispositions to cwy. ^-^ [Sings] -Mewodious biwds s-sing madwigaws- -Whenyas I sat in Pabywon- -And >_< a t-thousand vagwam posies. -To shawwow, etc. - -*shuffles closer* We-entew SIMPWE - -SIMPWE. Yondew h-he is, coming this way, Siw Hugh. -EVANS. He's *giggles shyly* wewcome. [Sings] -To s-shawwow wivews, to whose fawws- -Heaven OwO pwospew x3 the wight! *sweats* What weapons i-is he? -SIMPWE. Nyo weapons, siw. *sighs* Thewe comes my mastew, Mastew -Shawwow, *teleports behind you* and anyothew gentweman, fwom F-Fwogmowe, ovew t-the -stiwe, this way. -EVANS. Pway y-you give me my gown; ow ewse keep it x3 in youw -*sweats* awms. [Takes out a b-book] - -Entew PAGE, S-SHAWWOW, and SWENDEW - -SHAWWOW. How nyow, Mastew Pawson! Good mowwow, uWu good -Siw Hugh. Keep a gamestew *moans* fwom the dice, and *blushes* a good student -f-fwom his *hugs tightly* book, and it is wondewfuw. -:3 SWENDEW. *cries* [Aside] Ah, s-sweet Annye Page! -PAGE. Save you, g-good Siw Hugh! -EVANS. Pwess you fwom his mewcy sake, aww of you! -SHAWWOW. What, the swowd and the wowd! Do you *giggles shyly* study -them both, Mastew Pawson? -PAGE. And youthfuw stiww, in youw d-doubwet and hose, this w-waw -wheumatic day! -EVANS. Thewe ^.^ is weasons and *giggles shyly* causes fow it. -PAGE. *shuffles closer* We awe come to *notices bulge* you to *looks at you* do a good *sighs* office, Mastew -Pawson. -xDD EVANS. Fewy weww; what is it? -PAGE. Yondew is a most wevewend gentweman, who, bewike having -weceived wwong b-by some pewson, *cuddles you* is at most odds with -his own *sighs* gwavity and patience that evew you saw. -SHAWWOW. I have wived fouwscowe yeaws and upwawd; I nyevew -heawd *giggles shyly* a man of his pwace, gwavity, and weawnying, so *sighs* wide of -his own uWu wespect. -:33 EVANS. What is he? -*blushes* PAGE. I think you *moans* knyow ^w^ him: Mastew Doctow Caius, ^-^ the -wenyownyed Fwench physician. -EVANS. Got's wiww and his p-passion of my heawt! I had a-as wief -you wouwd teww *twerks* me o-of a mess of powwidge. -:3 PAGE. W-Why? -*cries* EVANS. He has n-nyo mowe knyowwedge in Hibocwates and -Gawen, uWu and he is a knyave b-besides-a *pokes you* cowawdwy knyave as you -wouwd desiwes to be acquainted withaw. -PAGE. I wawwant you, ^-^ he's the man shouwd fight *pokes you* with *moans* him. -SWENDEW. [Aside] O sweet A-Annye *leans over* Page! -SHAWWOW. It appeaws so, by his weapons. *looks at you* Keep them OwO asundew; -hewe comes :33 Doctow Caius. - -*twerks* Entew HOST, CAIUS, and WUGBY - -*moans* PAGE. Nyay, good Mastew Pawson, keep in youw weapon. -SHAWWOW. So do you, g-good Mastew Doctow. -:33 HOST. *moans* Disawm them, and wet OwO them q-question; wet them keep -theiw wimbs whowe *notices bulge* and hack ouw *teleports behind you* Engwish. -CAIUS. I pway you, wet-a me speak a wowd with youw eaw. -V-Vewefowe wiww you nyot meet-a me? -E-EVANS. [Aside to CAIUS] ^w^ Pway you use youw patience; in -good time. -CAIUS. B-By :3 gaw, y-you awe de cowawd, UwU de J-Jack dog, John ape. -EVANS. *looks at you* [Aside to CAIUS] Pway you, wet us n-nyot b-be -waughing-stocks t-to othew men's humouws; I d-desiwe y-you in -*blushes* fwiendship, and I wiww o-onye w-way *looks at you* ow othew make you amends. -[Awoud] I wiww knyog *hugs tightly* youw :3 uwinyaws *teleports behind you* about *screams* youw knyave's cogscomb -f-fow missing youw meetings and appointments. -CAIUS. Diabwe! :33 Jack Wugby-minye Host *teleports behind you* de Jawteew-have I -n-nyot *shuffles closer* stay >_< fow him to kiww >_> him? H-Have I n-nyot, at de pwace I did -appoint? -E-EVANS. As I a-am a Chwistians souw, nyow, wook you, this is the -pwace appointed. I'ww be judgment by *looks at you* minye host of the -G-Gawtew. -HOST. Peace, I s-say, G-Gawwia and G-Gauw, Fwench and Wewsh, -souw-cuwew and body-cuwew. -CAIUS. Ay, dat i-is *moans* vewy good! excewwent! -HOST. *moans* Peace, I ;;w;; say. Heaw minye host of the Gawtew. Am *shuffles closer* I -powitic? am I s-subtwe? am I a Machiavew? S-Shaww I-I w-wose my -doctow? Nyo; he gives me x3 the potions and the motions. Shaww I-I -wose my pawson, my p-pwiest, my Siw Hugh? Nyo; he gives me -the pwovewbs a-and the n-nyovewbs. Give me t-thy hand, tewwestwiaw; -*blushes* so. Give me thy hand, cewestiaw; so. Boys *sighs* of awt, I have -deceiv'd you both; I-I have diwected y-you to w-wwong pwaces; -youw heawts awe mighty, youw skins awe whowe, a-and wet buwnt -sack be the i-issue. C-Come, way theiw swowds to pawn. Fowwow -me, w-wads of peace; fowwow, *blushes* fowwow, fowwow. -SHAWWOW. Twust *blushes* me, a-a *looks away* mad h-host. Fowwow, gentwemen, *blushes* fowwow. -^-^ SWENDEW. [Aside] O-O sweet :33 Annye Page! -Exeunt *leans over* aww but CAIUS a-and EVANS -*pokes you* CAIUS. H-Ha, do I p-pewceive dat? Have you make-a ;;w;; de sot of us, -ha, ha? ->w< EVANS. T-This is weww; he has made us his ;;w;; vwouting-stog. I-I -:3 desiwe you >w< that we may be fwiends; and wet us knyog ouw p-pwains -togethew ^-^ to be wevenge on this same scaww, scuwvy, cogging -c-companyion, the host o-of the G-Gawtew. -CAIUS. By gaw, with aww :33 my ^-^ heawt. He pwomise t-to *cries* bwing me -whewe is Annye Page; b-by *looks at you* gaw, he deceive me too. -EVANS. Weww, I wiww *looks at you* smite his nyoddwes. Pway you f-fowwow. -*sweats* Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -S-SCENyE 2. - -The x3 stweet in Windsow - -Entew *cries* MISTWESS PAGE and *moans* WOBIN - -M-MWS. P-PAGE. N-Nyay, keep youw way, wittwe gawwant; you wewe -wont to b-be a f-fowwowew, but nyow OwO you a-awe a weadew. Whethew -h-had you w-wathew wead minye eyes, o-ow eye youw mastew's heews? -WOBIN. I-I had wathew, fowsooth, go befowe you wike a-a man than -fowwow him wike a dwawf. -MWS. P-PAGE. O, you awe a fwattewing boy; nyow I see you'ww *teleports behind you* be a -*giggles shyly* couwtiew. - -Entew FOWD - -:3 FOWD. Weww met, M-Mistwess Page. Whithew go you? -M-MWS. PAGE. Twuwy, s-siw, to >w< see youw wife. Is she at home? -FOWD. *blushes* Ay; and *sweats* as i-idwe *teleports behind you* as she may hang t-togethew, f-fow want of -*cries* company. I think, if youw husbands wewe dead, you two -*screams* wouwd mawwy. -MWS. PAGE. Be s-suwe of that-two othew husbands. -FOWD. W-Whewe had you this *moans* pwetty weathewcock? -MWS. PAGE. >_< I cannyot teww *blushes* what *shuffles closer* the dickens his nyame is my -husband ^-^ had him of. What d-do y-you c-caww youw knyight's -nyame, s-siwwah? -WOBIN. Siw John Fawstaff. -FOWD. Siw John Fawstaff! -MWS. P-PAGE. He, h-he; I can nyevew hit on's nyame. Thewe is such -a weague b-between my good man and he! Is youw wife a-at -*looks at you* home *giggles shyly* indeed? -FOWD. Indeed she is. -M-MWS. PAGE. By youw weave, s-siw. I am sick tiww I see *looks away* hew. -Exeunt MWS. PAGE and WOBIN -FOWD. Has Page a-any bwains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he *cuddles you* any -t-thinking? Suwe, *screams* they sweep; *blushes* he hath nyo use o-of them. Why, -this boy w-wiww *shuffles closer* cawwy a wettew twenty miwe as easy as a cannyon ->_< wiww shoot pointbwank twewve scowe. *pokes you* He pieces out *teleports behind you* his wife's -incwinyation; he *cries* gives ^-^ hew fowwy motion and advantage; and -nyow she's going t-to my *cries* wife, and Fawstaff's boy with hew. A -man may heaw this show'w sing *notices bulge* in the wind. And F-Fawstaff's -boy with hew! G-Good *giggles shyly* pwots! They :3 awe waid; and ouw wevowted -wives shawe damnyation togethew. Weww; I wiww take him, -then *sighs* towtuwe my wife, pwuck the bowwowed veiw of OwO modesty -fwom the so seeming Mistwess Page, divuwge Page himsewf -fow a secuwe and wiwfuw A-Actaeon; *giggles shyly* and to these viowent pwoceedings -aww my nyeighbouws shaww cwy aim. [-[Cwock stwikes] -The cwock gives me >_< my cue, >w< and my assuwance bids me -seawch; thewe I shaww find Fawstaff. I-I shaww be wathew pwais'd -fow this than mock'd; fow it is *teleports behind you* as positive as the eawth is fiwm -that Fawstaff is thewe. I wiww go. - -Entew P-PAGE, SHAWWOW, S-SWENDEW, HOST, SIW HUGH EVANS, -CAIUS, uWu and WUGBY - -SHAWWOW, *sighs* PAGE, &C. Weww met, *teleports behind you* Mastew Fowd. -FOWD. T-Twust me, a good knyot; I have good cheew at home, -and I-I *screams* pway you aww go with me. -SHAWWOW. I must excuse mysewf, Mastew Fowd. -SWENDEW. A-And so *moans* must I, siw; we *screams* have appointed to dinye with -Mistwess A-Annye, and I wouwd nyot b-bweak with hew fow mowe -monyey than I'ww speak *sighs* of. -SHAWWOW. W-We have *moans* wingew'd about a match between Annye -Page and my cousin Swendew, and this day *moans* we shaww h-have -ouw answew. -SWENDEW. I h-hope I have y-youw good wiww, :33 fathew P-Page. -PAGE. Y-You have, Mastew Swendew; :3 I s-stand >_< whowwy fow you. But -my wife, Mastew Doctow, i-is ^.^ fow you awtogethew. -CAIUS. Ay, be-gaw; a-and de maid is OwO wove-a OwO me; *sighs* my nyuwsh-a -Quickwy t-teww me so mush. -H-HOST. What s-say you t-to young Mastew Fenton? *hugs tightly* He c-capews, -he dances, h-he has eyes of youth, he wwites vewses, he *sweats* speaks -h-howiday, he smewws Apwiw and May; he *teleports behind you* wiww cawwy 't, he wiww -cawwy *leans over* 't; 'tis in his buttons; he wiww cawwy 't. -PAGE. Nyot b-by my consent, I pwomise >_< you. The gentweman is -of nyo having: he kept company with the wiwd Pwince and -Poins; he is of too high ;;w;; a wegion, he knyows too much. Nyo, -h-he shaww nyot knyit a knyot ^.^ in h-his f-fowtunyes with the *shuffles closer* fingew of -my substance; if he *sweats* take hew, wet him take hew simpwy; t-the -weawth I have waits on ;;w;; my consent, and my *hugs tightly* consent goes -nyot *hugs tightly* that way. -FOWD. I-I *blushes* beseech *shuffles closer* you, heawtiwy, some of you *teleports behind you* go home *notices bulge* with m-me -t-to dinnyew: besides y-youw cheew, you shaww h-have spowt; I wiww -show you a monstew. Mastew uWu Doctow, y-you *cries* shaww g-go; *cuddles you* so shaww -you, Mastew P-Page; and you, Siw Hugh. -SHAWWOW. Weww, fawe you weww; *notices bulge* we shaww have the fweew -wooing at Mastew Page's. Exeunt SHAWWOW and SWENDEW -CAIUS. Go home, John Wugby; I come a-anyon. Exit *shuffles closer* WUGBY -HOST. Faweweww, my heawts; I wiww to *leans over* my honyest knyight -Fawstaff, and dwink canyawy with him. Exit HOST -*looks away* FOWD. [Aside] I think I shaww dwink in pipe-winye fiwst with -him. I'ww make h-him dance. Wiww you go, g-gentwes? -^-^ AWW. Have with you :3 to see this m-monstew. Exeunt - - - - -<-<> - - - -SCENyE 3. - -FOWD'S house - -*looks away* Entew MISTWESS FOWD a-and MISTWESS PAGE - -MWS. FOWD. What, John! what, Wobewt! -uWu MWS. PAGE. *teleports behind you* Quickwy, q-quickwy! Is the buck-basket- -MWS. FOWD. :3 I wawwant. What, W-Wobin, I say! - -Entew SEWVANTS with a basket - -MWS. PAGE. Come, come, come. -*looks away* MWS. FOWD. Hewe, set *sighs* it down. -M-MWS. PAGE. Give youw men the chawge; we :3 must be bwief. -MWS. FOWD. Mawwy, as I towd *cuddles you* you b-befowe, John and Wobewt, be -weady hewe hawd by in the b-bwew-house; and when I suddenwy -caww you, come fowth, and, without any pause ^.^ ow -staggewing, take this basket uWu on youw s-shouwdews. That donye, -*moans* twudge with it in aww haste, a-and cawwy it among the w-whitstews -uWu in Datchet Mead, a-and thewe empty it *leans over* in the muddy ditch -c-cwose b-by t-the Thames side. -Mws. PAGE. You wiww do it? -MWS. F-FOWD. I *pokes you* ha' towd t-them ovew and ovew; they wack nyo -diwection. Be g-gonye, and come when you awe caww'd. -Exeunt SEWVANTS -MWS. PAGE. Hewe *screams* comes wittwe Wobin. - -E-Entew WOBIN - -MWS. FOWD. How nyow, my eyas-musket, what n-nyews with -you? -WOBIN. My *shuffles closer* Mastew Siw John is come in at youw back-doow, -Mistwess Fowd, and w-wequests youw company. -MWS. PAGE. You w-wittwe Jack-a-Went, have you been twue t-to us? -WOBIN. Ay, I'ww be swown. My mastew uWu knyows nyot of youw -being hewe, and hath thweat'nyed t-to put me into evewwasting -wibewty, if I teww you uWu of it; fow he sweaws he'ww tuwn me away. -*blushes* MWS. PAGE. T-Thou 'wt a good boy; *hugs tightly* this secwecy *pokes you* of thinye shaww -be a taiwow to >_< thee, and shaww m-make thee a nyew *hugs tightly* doubwet and -hose. *notices bulge* I'ww *moans* go hide me. -M-MWS. FOWD. Do *looks away* so. Go *shuffles closer* teww thy mastew *blushes* I *cuddles you* am awonye. [Exit -WOBIN] :3 Mistwess Page, wemembew y-you youw cue. -*teleports behind you* MWS. PAGE. I wawwant thee; if I do nyot act it, hiss me. -Exit MWS. PAGE -MWS. FOWD. *shuffles closer* Go to, then; we'ww use OwO this unwhowesome -humidity, this g-gwoss wat'wy pumpion; we'ww teach him *looks away* to -k-knyow tuwtwes f-fwom jays. - -Entew FAWSTAFF - -FAWSTAFF. Have I c-caught thee, my heavenwy xDD jewew? -Why, UwU nyow ^.^ wet me die, fow I have wiv'd w-wong enyough; this is -the *shuffles closer* pewiod of my ambition. O this *sighs* bwessed houw! -^w^ MWS. FOWD. O-O sweet Siw :3 John! -F-FAWSTAFF. Mistwess Fowd, I-I cannyot *leans over* cog, I cannyot pwate, -*giggles shyly* Mistwess Fowd. Nyow shaww I sin ^w^ in my wish; *hugs tightly* I wouwd *looks away* thy -husband wewe dead; I'ww speak it befowe the best wowd, xDD I -wouwd m-make thee my *giggles shyly* wady. -MWS. FOWD. I y-youw wady, *sweats* Siw *giggles shyly* John? Awas, I shouwd *twerks* be a p-pitifuw -wady. -xDD FAWSTAFF. Wet the couwt of Fwance show me such anyothew. I -*screams* see how thinye eye wouwd emuwate the diamond; thou hast -the wight awched beauty of the ;;w;; bwow that becomes the -ship-tiwe, the tiwe-vawiant, ow :33 any tiwe of Venyetian admittance. -MWS. FOWD. A >w< pwain kewchief, Siw J-John; *giggles shyly* my bwows become -*leans over* nyothing ewse, nyow that weww nyeithew. -F-FAWSTAFF. By the Wowd, thou awt a tywant ;;w;; to say s-so; thou -wouwdst *twerks* make :3 an absowute couwtiew, and the fiwm fixtuwe *sweats* of -thy foot wouwd give an e-excewwent motion to thy gait ;;w;; in a -semi-ciwcwed fawthingawe. I see what thou wewt, if Fowtunye -t-thy *twerks* foe wewe, nyot Nyatuwe, thy fwiend. >_< Come, :33 thou canst nyot -hide it. -MWS. FOWD. Bewieve me, :33 thewe's nyo such thing i-in me. -*teleports behind you* FAWSTAFF. What made me wove UwU thee? Wet that pewsuade thee -thewe's something extwa-owdinyawy in thee. Come, I cannyot -c-cog, a-and *shuffles closer* say thou awt this and that, wike a-a many of these -wisping hawthown-buds *hugs tightly* that come wike women i-in m-men's -appawew, a-and smeww wike Buckwewsbuwy in s-simpwe time; I ->_> cannyot; but I-I wove thee, nyonye but thee; and x3 thou desewv'st it. -MWS. FOWD. *looks away* Do *sighs* nyot betway me, siw; I feaw *hugs tightly* you ^-^ wove Mistwess -Page. -F-FAWSTAFF. Thou m-mightst as weww say I wove to wawk >_< by ^w^ the -Countew-gate, w-which is as *teleports behind you* hatefuw to *moans* me as the week of a -wime-kiwn. -MWS. F-FOWD. Weww, heaven knyows how I-I w-wove you; and you -shaww onye day find it. -FAWSTAFF. K-Keep in that m-mind; I'ww desewve it. -*looks at you* MWS. FOWD. Nyay, I *giggles shyly* must teww you, so you d-do; ^.^ ow ewse *sighs* I couwd -nyot be in that mind. -WOBIN. [Within] Mistwess Fowd, Mistwess Fowd! hewe's -Mistwess Page at the d-doow, sweating a-and bwowing and wooking -*shuffles closer* wiwdwy, *hugs tightly* and wouwd nyeeds uWu speak *shuffles closer* with *looks at you* you pwesentwy. -FAWSTAFF. She shaww nyot see me; I wiww *cuddles you* ensconce m-me behind -the awwas. -M-MWS. *teleports behind you* FOWD. Pway you, do so; she's a-a vewy tattwing woman. -[FAWSTAFF OwO hides himsewf] - -We-entew MISTWESS PAGE and WOBIN - -What's the mattew? How OwO nyow! -MWS. PAGE. *screams* O Mistwess Fowd, what have y-you donye? You'we -sham'd, *blushes* y'awe ovewthwown, y'awe u-undonye fow e-evew. -MWS. FOWD. What's the mattew, good Mistwess Page? -MWS. PAGE. O weww-a-day, Mistwess Fowd, having an honyest -man to youw husband, to g-give him such cause of suspicion! -:33 MWS. FOWD. :33 What cause ^-^ of suspicion? -MWS. PAGE. What cause *looks away* of >_> suspicion? O-Out upon you, h-how -*moans* am :3 I mistook i-in you! -MWS. F-FOWD. Why, awas, what's the mattew? -MWS. PAGE. Youw husband's coming hithew, woman, *teleports behind you* with ;;w;; aww -the officews in Windsow, to seawch fow a gentweman that *teleports behind you* he -says is hewe n-nyow in the UwU house, by *notices bulge* youw consent, to UwU take an -OwO iww advantage of his absence. You awe undonye. -MWS. FOWD. 'Tis nyot *notices bulge* so, I-I hope. -MWS. PAGE. Pway heaven it be ^w^ nyot s-so that you have such a -man ;;w;; hewe; but 'tis m-most cewtain youw husband's coming, -with hawf Windsow at his heews, to *looks at you* seawch fow *blushes* such a o-onye. I -come befowe to teww you. If you knyow youwsewf cweaw, why, -I UwU am gwad of it; but i-if y-you have a fwiend hewe, convey, ->w< convey him o-out. Be nyot amaz'd; caww aww youw s-senses to you; -defend youw w-weputation, ow bid faweweww to youw good wife -fow evew. -MWS. :3 FOWD. What shaww I do? Thewe i-is *hugs tightly* a UwU gentweman, my deaw -xDD fwiend; and I-I feaw nyot minye *teleports behind you* own shame as much *moans* as his pewiw. -I had wathew *blushes* than *moans* a thousand pound >_< he wewe out of the -house. -MWS. PAGE. Fow shame, nyevew stand 'you had w-wathew' and 'you -had wathew'! Youw husband's h-hewe at hand; *teleports behind you* bethink you OwO of -some conveyance; in ;;w;; the house you cannyot hide him. O, -how have you deceiv'd :3 me! Wook, uWu hewe is a basket; if he be -o-of any w-weasonyabwe statuwe, *twerks* he may cweep in h-hewe; and thwow -fouw winyen upon him, *pokes you* as if it *hugs tightly* wewe going to bucking, o-ow-it is -whiting-time-send him OwO by youw two men t-to Datchet -Mead. -*giggles shyly* MWS. FOWD. *hugs tightly* He's too big to *looks away* go in thewe. What shaww I do? -F-FAWSTAFF. [Coming fowwawd] Wet me see 't, *cries* wet me see 't. O-O, -wet me *cuddles you* see 't! I'ww in, I'ww in; fowwow youw fwiend's counsew; -I-I'ww in. -MWS. PAGE. What, Siw John Fawstaff! [Aside to FAWSTAFF] -Awe these youw wettews, knyight? -FAWSTAFF. [Aside to MWS. PAGE] *moans* I wove thee a-and nyonye but -thee; hewp me away.-Wet me cweep in *screams* hewe; I'ww nyevew- -[Gets into *sighs* the basket; they covew him *notices bulge* with f-fouw *looks at you* winyen] -MWS. *moans* PAGE. Hewp to covew youw mastew, boy. *cuddles you* Caww youw *teleports behind you* men, -Mistwess Fowd. You dissembwing knyight! -M-MWS. ^w^ FOWD. What, John! Wobewt! John! Exit WOBIN - -We-entew SEWVANTS - -Go, >w< take up t-these cwothes *cries* hewe, quickwy; *hugs tightly* whewe's >_> the -*twerks* coww-staff? Wook how *giggles shyly* you d-dwumbwe. Cawwy them t-to the waundwess -in Datchet Mead; ^-^ quickwy, come. - -Entew FOWD, P-PAGE, CAIUS, and SIW H-HUGH EVANS - -FOWD. P-Pway you c-come nyeaw. If ^w^ I suspect without cause, w-why -then make spowt at me, then wet me be youw jest; I desewve -it. How nyow, whithew ^.^ beaw y-you this? -SEWVANT. To the waundwess, fowsooth. -MWS. FOWD. Why, what have y-you t-to do *sighs* whithew they beaw ;;w;; it? -You wewe b-best meddwe with buck-washing. -FOWD. Buck? I wouwd I-I *pokes you* couwd wash mysewf of the buck! -B-Buck, buck, buck! ay, xDD buck! I wawwant you, buck; a-and of -the season too, i-it shaww appeaw. [-[Exeunt *giggles shyly* SEWVANTS with -basket] Gentwemen, I *pokes you* have dweam'd t-to-nyight; I'ww *shuffles closer* teww you my -d-dweam. Hewe, hewe, hewe be m-my keys; *looks away* ascend m-my ^-^ chambews, -*moans* seawch, s-seek, find out. I'ww wawwant we'ww unkennyew the fox. -W-Wet me s-stop this way fiwst. [Wocking OwO the doow] So, nyow -uncape. -*notices bulge* PAGE. Good Mastew *teleports behind you* Fowd, be *shuffles closer* contented; you wwong youwsewf -too much. -FOWD. Twue, :33 Mastew Page. Up, gentwemen, OwO you shaww see spowt -anyon; fowwow me, g-gentwemen. E-Exit -EVANS. This is fewy fantasticaw humouws and jeawousies. -CAIUS. By gaw, 'tis nyo t-the fashion >w< of Fwance; it ^-^ is nyot jeawous -in Fwance. -PAGE. Nyay, fowwow him, g-gentwemen; see the issue xDD of OwO his -s-seawch. Exeunt EVANS, P-PAGE, and CAIUS -MWS. P-PAGE. Is thewe nyot a doubwe excewwency in this? -:33 MWS. F-FOWD. I knyow nyot which pweases me b-bettew, that my -*blushes* husband is deceived, o-ow Siw John. -*cuddles you* MWS. PAGE. W-What a taking was he in x3 when youw husband -ask'd who was in *pokes you* the basket! ->_< MWS. FOWD. ^-^ I >w< am hawf afwaid h-he wiww *blushes* have nyeed of OwO washing; so -thwowing him into *cries* the watew wiww d-do h-him a b-benyefit. -MWS. *cuddles you* PAGE. Hang him, dishonyest wascaw! I wouwd aww of the -s-same *giggles shyly* stwain ^.^ wewe in the *hugs tightly* same distwess. -MWS. FOWD. I think my husband hath some speciaw suspicion -of Fawstaff's being hewe, f-fow I nyevew saw him so gwoss in his -j-jeawousy tiww nyow. -M-MWS. PAGE. I Wiww way a pwot >w< to t-twy that, and we wiww yet h-have -mowe twicks with *teleports behind you* Fawstaff. His d-dissowute disease wiww scawce -obey this *looks away* medicinye. -MWS. FOWD. S-Shaww we send that foowish cawwion, Mistwess -Quickwy, to him, and excuse his *giggles shyly* thwowing into the watew, -and give him anyothew hope, to *cuddles you* betway him to *sweats* anyothew -punyishment? -M-MWS. PAGE. We *sighs* wiww do it; wet him be sent fow to-mowwow -eight o'cwock, to have amends. - -We-entew ^-^ FOWD, P-PAGE, CAIUS, *giggles shyly* and *moans* SIW HUGH EVANS - -FOWD. I cannyot find him; may be the *pokes you* knyave bwagg'd of that -*shuffles closer* he x3 couwd nyot compass. -MWS. PAGE. [Aside to MWS. FOWD] Heawd you t-that? -MWS. FOWD. You use me *hugs tightly* weww, Mastew Fowd, *pokes you* do you? -FOWD. Ay, *hugs tightly* I do so. -MWS. FOWD. Heaven make you bettew ;;w;; than youw t-thoughts! -FOWD. Amen. -MWS. PAGE. You do youwsewf mighty wwong, Mastew *screams* Fowd. -FOWD. Ay, ay; I must beaw it. -EVANS. If t-thewe be a-any *blushes* pody in OwO the *screams* house, and in the -chambews, and in t-the coffews, and in the pwesses, heaven fowgive -my sins at the day of j-judgment! -CAIUS. Be gaw, nyow I too; *sweats* thewe i-is nyo bodies. -PAGE. Fie, fie, Mastew Fowd, awe *sweats* you nyot asham'd? What -spiwit, w-what deviw suggests this imaginyation? I wouwd nyot ha' -youw *teleports behind you* distempew in this *sweats* kind fow the w-weawth of Windsow -C-Castwe. -FOWD. *cuddles you* 'Tis my fauwt, Mastew Page; I suffew fow it. -E-EVANS. Y-You suffew f-fow a pad conscience. Youw wife is UwU as -honyest a-a omans as I :33 wiww desiwes among five t-thousand, and x3 five -hundwed too. -*cuddles you* CAIUS. By *twerks* gaw, I see 'tis an h-honyest woman. -FOWD. Weww, I pwomis'd you a dinnyew. Come, come, wawk *notices bulge* in -the Pawk. I pway you pawdon me; I wiww heweaftew make -knyown to you *blushes* why I-I have donye this. Come, wife, come, -Mistwess P-Page; I pway you p-pawdon *shuffles closer* me; pway heawtwy, -pawdon me. -PAGE. Wet's :33 go in, gentwemen; but, twust me, we'ww mock him. -I do invite you to-mowwow mownying to my house to *sighs* bweakfast; -aftew, we'ww *leans over* a-biwding togethew; I have a finye hawk fow -the bush. Shaww it be s-so? -FOWD. Any thing. -EVANS. If thewe is onye, I shaww make *twerks* two in t-the company. -C-CAIUS. If t-thewe be *teleports behind you* onye ow two, I shaww make-a the tuwd. -FOWD. Pway you g-go, Mastew Page. -:3 EVANS. I pway y-you nyow, wemembwance to-mowwow on the -wousy knyave, *teleports behind you* minye host. -CAIUS. Dat is :33 good; by gaw, with a-aww my heawt. -EVANS. A w-wousy knyave, to have his gibes and h-his UwU mockewies! -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Befowe PAGE'S *looks at you* house - -*shuffles closer* Entew FENTON and ;;w;; ANNyE PAGE - -FENTON. I see I UwU cannyot get thy fathew's wove; -Thewefowe nyo mowe tuwn me to him, s-sweet Nyan. -ANNyE. Awas, how then? -F-FENTON. Why, thou must be thysewf. -He doth o-object I am too gweat of biwth; -And that, my s-state being gaww'd with my expense, -I seek to uWu heaw i-it o-onwy by his weawth. -Besides *hugs tightly* these, othew baws he ways befowe me, -*leans over* My wiots past, my wiwd societies; -And t-tewws :3 me 'tis x3 a thing impossibwe -I-I *shuffles closer* shouwd w-wove thee *leans over* but as a pwopewty. -*sweats* ANNyE.. May be h-he tewws you twue. -FENTON. Nyo, heaven s-so speed me in *leans over* my time to come! -A-Awbeit ^.^ I wiww confess thy fathew's weawth -Was the fiwst motive that I w-woo'd t-thee, Annye; -Yet, wooing thee, I-I f-found thee o-of ;;w;; mowe v-vawue -Than stamps in gowd, ow sums in seawed bags; -And 'tis the vewy wiches of thysewf -T-That n-nyow I aim at. -ANNyE. Gentwe Mastew Fenton, -Yet seek my fathew's wove; stiww seek *moans* it, siw. -If oppowtunyity and humbwest suit -Cannyot attain it, why t-then-hawk you hithew. -[They convewse apawt] - -Entew SHAWWOW, SWENDEW, and MISTWESS QUICKWY - -SHAWWOW. *hugs tightly* Bweak theiw *leans over* tawk, Mistwess *blushes* Quickwy; my ^.^ kinsman -shaww s-speak fow x3 himsewf. -SWENDEW. I'ww make a shaft ow a bowt on 't; '-'swid, 'tis but -ventuwing. -S-SHAWWOW. Be nyot dismay'd. -SWENDEW. Nyo, she shaww nyot dismay me. I cawe nyot fow that, -but that I am afeawd. -QUICKWY. Hawk ye, ^.^ Mastew Swendew wouwd speak a wowd -with *looks away* you. -A-ANNyE. I come to him. [Aside] This is m-my fathew's choice. -O-O, what a wowwd of ^w^ viwe iww-favouw'd *hugs tightly* fauwts -Wooks handsome in *screams* thwee hundwed p-pounds a yeaw! -QUICKWY. And *sweats* how does good Mastew uWu Fenton? P-Pway you, UwU a -wowd with y-you. -SHAWWOW. She's coming; *giggles shyly* to hew, coz. O b-boy, thou h-hadst a-a -*moans* fathew! -SWENDEW. *notices bulge* I ^-^ had a *shuffles closer* fathew, Mistwess *shuffles closer* Annye; my u-uncwe *notices bulge* can teww -*sighs* you *hugs tightly* good jests of him. Pway you, uncwe, teww Mistwess Annye -the jest how *notices bulge* my fathew stowe t-two *cries* geese out o-of a pen, good -u-uncwe. -*notices bulge* SHAWWOW. Mistwess *notices bulge* Annye, my c-cousin woves you. -SWENDEW. Ay, that I *notices bulge* do; as weww as I w-wove any woman in -*looks at you* Gwoucestewshiwe. -SHAWWOW. H-He wiww maintain you wike a gentwewoman. -SWENDEW. Ay, that I wiww come cut and :33 wongtaiw, undew *looks away* the -degwee of a-a squiwe. -SHAWWOW. He w-wiww make you a h-hundwed and fifty pounds -jointuwe. -ANNyE. >w< Good Mastew Shawwow, wet him woo :33 fow himsewf. -SHAWWOW. Mawwy, xDD I x3 thank you fow it; I thank you fow that -good comfowt. S-She cawws you, coz; I'ww weave you. -ANNyE. Nyow, *cries* Mastew :33 Swendew- -SWENDEW. *blushes* Nyow, good Mistwess Annye- -ANNyE. What is youw wiww? -SWENDEW. M-My Wiww! 'Od's h-heawtwings, that's :3 a pwetty jest -indeed! I nye'ew made *blushes* my wiww y-yet, I t-thank heaven; I *screams* am nyot -*cuddles you* such a sickwy cweatuwe, I give heaven pwaise. -ANNyE. *moans* I mean, >_> Mastew Swendew, :3 what wouwd you w-with xDD me? -SWENDEW. *hugs tightly* Twuwy, fow m-minye o-own pawt I-I wouwd wittwe ow nyothing -with you. Y-Youw fathew and my u-uncwe hath made motions; -if it b-be my *teleports behind you* wuck, *giggles shyly* so; if nyot, h-happy man b-be his dowe! They -can teww you h-how things go bettew than I can. You m-may ^-^ ask -y-youw *cries* fathew; hewe uWu he comes. - -Entew PAGE and MISTWESS PAGE - -PAGE. Nyow, M-Mastew Swendew! Wove him, daughtew A-Annye- -Why, how n-nyow, what does Mastew Fenton hewe? -You wwong me, siw, ^-^ thus stiww to haunt my house. -I towd you, siw, my *hugs tightly* daughtew is dispos'd of. -*cuddles you* FENTON. N-Nyay, Mastew Page, be n-nyot impatient. -MWS. P-PAGE. Good Mastew Fenton, *sweats* come nyot to my chiwd. -PAGE. She *leans over* is nyo match fow y-you. -FENTON. Siw, wiww you heaw me? -PAGE. Nyo, *notices bulge* good Mastew Fenton. -Come, Mastew Shawwow; come, son Swendew; *looks at you* in. -Knyowing my mind, you wwong me, Mastew Fenton. -Exeunt PAGE, SHAWWOW, and SWENDEW -QUICKWY. Speak to Mistwess Page. -FENTON. Good Mistwess Page, fow that I wove y-youw daughtew -In such a ^-^ wighteous f-fashion as I-I do, -Pewfowce, against aww checks, uWu webukes, and mannyews, -I must advance the cowouws of *leans over* my w-wove, -*leans over* And n-nyot wetiwe. Wet me have youw good wiww. -ANNyE. Good mothew, do nyot mawwy me to *moans* yond foow. -MWS. P-PAGE. I mean it nyot; I seek you a-a bettew *leans over* husband. -QUICKWY. *looks away* That's my mastew, Mastew Doctow. -ANNyE. Awas, >w< I had wathew be set q-quick i' th' eawth. -And boww'd to death with tuwnyips. -MWS. PAGE. Come, twoubwe nyot *leans over* youwsewf. Good >_< Mastew -Fenton, -I wiww *cuddles you* nyot be youw fwiend, nyow enyemy; -*screams* My daughtew wiww :33 I *notices bulge* question how *sweats* she *shuffles closer* woves OwO you, -And as I find hew, s-so am I affected; -Tiww then, faweweww, siw; she must *blushes* nyeeds go in; -Hew f-fathew wiww be *screams* angwy. -FENTON. Faweweww, gentwe mistwess; faweweww, Nyan. -Exeunt MWS. PAGE and ANNyE -Q-QUICKWY. UwU This is x3 my doing *screams* nyow: 'Nyay,' said I 'wiww you c-cast -away youw chiwd xDD on a foow, and a physician? Wook on -Mastew Fenton.' T-This is my :33 doing. -FENTON. I-I thank thee; and I pway t-thee, once t-to-nyight -Give my sweet Nyan this wing. Thewe's fow ^.^ thy pains. -QUICKWY. Nyow Heaven send thee good f-fowtunye! [Exit -FENTON] OwO A kind heawt h-he hath; a woman wouwd wun thwough -fiwe and watew f-fow such a kind heawt. B-But yet I wouwd my -mastew had M-Mistwess Annye; ow I wouwd Mastew Swendew had -*teleports behind you* hew; ow, ^.^ in sooth, *looks at you* I wouwd Mastew Fenton had hew; I wiww -do what I can fow them aww *blushes* thwee, uWu fow so I have pwomis'd, -*screams* and I-I'ww be as good as my w-wowd; b-but s-speciouswy fow M-Mastew -Fenton. x3 Weww, I must of anyothew ewwand to Siw *screams* John Fawstaff -fwom my two mistwesses. What a beast *sweats* am I to swack it! -Exit - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -The Gawtew Inn - -Entew F-FAWSTAFF and BAWDOWPH - -FAWSTAFF. Bawdowph, I say! -BAWDOWPH. Hewe, s-siw. -FAWSTAFF. Go fetch me *looks at you* a quawt *cries* of sack; put a toast in 't. -;;w;; Exit BAWDOWPH -Have I wiv'd to be cawwied in a basket, >_< wike a *hugs tightly* bawwow of -butchew's *shuffles closer* offaw, and to be thwown in t-the Thames? Weww, if -I-I be sewv'd such anyothew twick, *looks at you* I'ww have m-my bwains ta'en out -and buttew'd, *cuddles you* and give *pokes you* them to *hugs tightly* a dog fow *looks away* a nyew-yeaw's gift. -The wogues s-swighted me into the wivew with as wittwe *pokes you* wemowse -as they wouwd have dwown'd ;;w;; a bwind bitch's ^-^ puppies, fifteen -i' th' wittew; and *cries* you >w< may knyow by my *shuffles closer* size t-that I have ->_< a kind o-of awacwity in sinking; if the bottom wewe *leans over* as deep as -heww I shouwd down. I h-had *looks away* been dwown'd but that the showe -was shewvy ^-^ and shawwow-a death *twerks* that I-I a-abhow; fow the watew -swewws a man; and what a thing shouwd I have been when -had been sweww'd! I shouwd have been a mountain of -mummy. - -W-We-entew BAWDOWPH, with *blushes* sack - -BAWDOWPH. Hewe's Mistwess ^-^ Quickwy, siw, to speak with you -FAWSTAFF. Come, wet >w< me pouw in *moans* some sack to the Thames -watew; fow my bewwy's as cowd as if I had swawwow'd -snyowbawws f-fow piwws to coow the weins. Caww hew i-in. -BAWDOWPH. Come in, woman. - -Entew MISTWESS QUICKWY - -QUICKWY. By youw ^.^ weave; I cwy you mewcy. Give youw -wowship good m-mowwow. ->w< FAWSTAFF. *sighs* Take *looks away* away t-these chawices. Go, bwew me a pottwe -of sack finyewy. -BAWDOWPH. With eggs, siw? -FAWSTAFF. Simpwe of itsewf; I'ww nyo puwwet-spewm i-in my -bwewage. [Exit BAWDOWPH] How *screams* nyow! -QUICKWY. Mawwy, siw, I-I c-come to youw wowship fwom M-Mistwess -Fowd. -*looks at you* FAWSTAFF. Mistwess Fowd! I have had fowd enyough; I was -thwown into UwU the fowd; I :33 have my b-bewwy f-fuww of fowd. -QUICKWY. Awas the x3 day, good heawt, that was *shuffles closer* nyot hew fauwt! -She d-does so take >w< on with hew *giggles shyly* men; they mistook theiw -ewection. -FAWSTAFF. S-So did I minye, to buiwd upon a foowish woman's -pwomise. -QUICKWY. Weww, she waments, s-siw, fow i-it, that ^w^ it wouwd y-yeawn -youw ^-^ heawt ^-^ to see it. UwU Hew husband goes t-this mownying -a-biwding; she desiwes you once m-mowe to come to hew between -eight and nyinye; I must ^w^ cawwy OwO hew wowd quickwy. xDD She'ww make ->_< you amends, I wawwant you. -FAWSTAFF. W-Weww, I Wiww visit hew. Teww hew :33 so; and bid hew -think what a man is. Wet hew >w< considew his fwaiwty, and then -j-judge of my mewit. -QUICKWY. I wiww teww hew. -FAWSTAFF. Do so. Between *screams* nyinye OwO and uWu ten, say'st thou? -Q-QUICKWY. E-Eight and nyinye, siw. -*blushes* FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, be gonye; ^.^ I wiww nyot *twerks* miss hew. -QUICKWY. Peace be with you, siw. Exit -FAWSTAFF. I mawvew I heaw nyot of Mastew Bwook; he sent me -wowd to stay within. I wike his monyey weww. O, hewe he -comes. - -Entew FOWD *looks at you* disguised - -*moans* FOWD. Bwess you, siw! -FAWSTAFF. Nyow, Mastew Bwook, y-you come to knyow what -hath pass'd between *leans over* me and Fowd's wife? -FOWD. That, indeed, Siw John, is my *leans over* businyess. -FAWSTAFF. Mastew Bwook, I-I wiww nyot wie t-to you; I was at *sighs* hew -house t-the *twerks* houw *shuffles closer* she appointed me. -FOWD. And sped you, s-siw? -FAWSTAFF. *looks away* Vewy iww-favouwedwy, Mastew Bwook. -FOWD. How so, siw; did she change OwO hew detewminyation? -FAWSTAFF. Nyo. Mastew Bwook; but the peaking cownyuto hew -*sighs* husband, Mastew Bwook, d-dwewwing in a continyuaw '-'wawum of -jeawousy, comes me *sighs* in the instant o-of xDD ouw, encountew, aftew -we had e-embwac'd, *shuffles closer* kiss'd, pwotested, and, as it wewe, spoke -the pwowogue of ouw comedy; and at his heews a-a wabbwe o-of his -companyions, thithew pwovoked a-and :3 instigated *looks away* by his -distempew, a-and, fowsooth, t-to seawch his house fow his wife's -;;w;; wove. -*cries* FOWD. What, whiwe you wewe thewe? -FAWSTAFF. Whiwe I was thewe. -FOWD. And did *blushes* he seawch fow you, and c-couwd nyot find you? -FAWSTAFF. You shaww heaw. A-As >_< good wuck wouwd have i-it, comes -in onye Mistwess Page, *giggles shyly* gives intewwigence of Fowd's appwoach; -and, in hew invention and Fowd's wife's distwaction, they -convey'd me ^-^ into a OwO buck-basket. -FOWD. A buck-basket! -FAWSTAFF. By the W-Wowd, a buck-basket! Wamm'd me in with -fouw shiwts and smocks, socks, fouw stockings, gweasy -nyapkins, that, Mastew Bwook, thewe was the wankest compound -o-of viwwainyous smeww that e-evew o-offended nyostwiw. -FOWD. And how wong way you *giggles shyly* thewe? -FAWSTAFF. *cries* Nyay, you shaww h-heaw, Mastew Bwook, what I have -suffew'd to bwing this w-woman t-to eviw fow youw good. Being -t-thus cwamm'd in the basket, a coupwe of Fowd's knyaves, *pokes you* his -hinds, wewe caww'd fowth by theiw mistwess to c-cawwy me i-in -the nyame of fouw cwothes to Datchet Wanye; t-they took m-me on ->_< theiw shouwdews; met t-the jeawous knyave theiw mastew i-in the -d-doow; who a-ask'd *moans* them once ow twice w-what they had i-in t-theiw -basket. I quak'd fow feaw west the wunyatic k-knyave wouwd have -*pokes you* seawch'd it; but Fate, owdainying he shouwd be a cuckowd, -hewd his *screams* hand. Weww, on went he fow a seawch, and a-away -went I fow fouw c-cwothes. B-But m-mawk the sequew, Mastew -Bwook-I suffewed the pangs of thwee sevewaw deaths: fiwst, -an intowewabwe fwight *leans over* to be detected with a jeawous wotten -*leans over* beww-wethew; nyext, to be compass'd wike a good biwbo *cries* in the -c-ciwcumfewence of a peck, hiwt t-to point, heew to head; and -then, t-to be stopp'd in, wike a stwong d-distiwwation, with -stinking cwothes that fwetted in theiw o-own *leans over* gwease. Think of that --a *sweats* man of my kidnyey. Think of that-that am as s-subject to -heat as :3 buttew; a man *cuddles you* of xDD continyuaw dissowution and thaw. It -was *cries* a miwacwe to scape suffocation. And in t-the h-height of -this bath, when I was m-mowe than hawf-stew'd in *blushes* gwease, wike -a uWu Dutch dish, t-to *blushes* be thwown into *leans over* the Thames, *moans* and coow'd, -gwowing hot, i-in that suwge, w-wike a howse-shoe; think of that --hissing h-hot. Think of that, Mastew ;;w;; Bwook. -FOWD. I-In *twerks* good sadnyess, siw, I-I am sowwy that fow my :3 sake you -*blushes* have suffew'd aww this. My s-suit, then, is despewate; -you'ww u-undewtake hew nyo >_< mowe. -FAWSTAFF. Mastew B-Bwook, I wiww be thwown i-into Etnya, as I -have been into Thames, ewe I-I wiww w-weave hew thus. Hew -husband is this mownying gonye a-biwding; I have weceived fwom -hew anyothew embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight a-and n-nyinye is -the houw, Mastew Bwook. -FOWD. ;;w;; 'Tis past e-eight awweady, UwU siw. -FAWSTAFF. Is i-it? I Wiww t-then a-addwess me to *twerks* my appointment. -Come *teleports behind you* to me at youw convenyient weisuwe, *sighs* and you shaww -knyow how I s-speed; a-and t-the concwusion *notices bulge* shaww be cwownyed -with youw e-enjoying hew. Adieu. You shaww h-have hew, Mastew -*cries* Bwook; *cuddles you* Mastew *blushes* Bwook, *teleports behind you* you s-shaww cuckowd Fowd. Exit -*blushes* FOWD. Hum! ha! Is this a vision? Is *teleports behind you* this a dweam? >w< Do I sweep? -Mastew Fowd, awake; awake, Mastew F-Fowd. *blushes* Thewe's a howe -made in youw best ;;w;; coat, Mastew Fowd. This '-'tis to be -m-mawwied; *cuddles you* this 'tis to h-have :3 winyen and b-buck-baskets! Weww, I wiww -p-pwocwaim mysewf what I am; ^-^ I wiww nyow take the uWu wechew; he -is at ^w^ my house. He cannyot scape UwU me; *screams* 'tis impossibwe he -*hugs tightly* shouwd; he :33 cannyot cweep into a-a *blushes* hawfpenny ^w^ puwse nyow into -a p-peppew box. B-But, west the deviw that guides him *looks away* shouwd a-aid -him, I-I wiww seawch impossibwe pwaces. Though w-what *leans over* I am I -cannyot avoid, *giggles shyly* yet to be what *screams* I w-wouwd nyot shaww nyot make -uWu me tame. I-If I have howns t-to m-make onye mad, wet the pwovewb -go with me-I'ww be hown *twerks* mad. Exit - - - - -<_> OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. - -W-Windsow. A stweet - -*shuffles closer* Entew MISTWESS P-PAGE, MISTWESS QUICKWY, *sweats* and WIWWIAM - -MWS. PAGE. Is he at M-Mastew x3 Fowd's awweady, think'st thou? -QUICKWY. Suwe he is by uWu this; ow wiww be pwesentwy; but *notices bulge* twuwy -he is vewy couwageous mad a-about his thwowing into the -watew. *cuddles you* Mistwess Fowd desiwes y-you to come suddenwy. -MWS. PAGE. I'ww b-be with hew b-by and *moans* by; I'ww but b-bwing my -young man hewe to *sighs* schoow. Wook whewe his mastew comes; -'tis a :3 pwaying day, I see. - -Entew SIW HUGH EVANS - -H-How nyow, Siw Hugh, n-nyo schoow to-day? -E-EVANS. Nyo; Mastew ^w^ Swendew i-is wet the boys *leans over* weave to *looks at you* pway. -QUICKWY. Bwessing of his heawt! -^.^ MWS. PAGE. Siw Hugh, my *notices bulge* husband says *cries* my son pwofits -nyothing in >_< the wowwd at h-his ^.^ book; I-I p-pway UwU you ask h-him some -questions in his accidence. -EVANS. Come hithew, Wiwwiam; h-howd up ;;w;; youw head; come. -M-MWS. ^.^ PAGE. Come on, siwwah; howd up youw head; answew youw -mastew; *cries* be nyot afwaid. -EVANS. Wiwwiam, how *leans over* many nyumbews OwO is in nyouns? -WIWWIAM. Two. -*screams* QUICKWY. Twuwy, I thought thewe h-had been onye *looks away* nyumbew -mowe, b-because they s-say 'Od's nyouns.' -EVANS. Peace youw tattwings. *cuddles you* What is 'faiw,' *screams* Wiwwiam? -WIWWIAM. Puwchew. -*notices bulge* QUICKWY. Powecats! Thewe awe faiwew things than *pokes you* powecats, -s-suwe. -EVANS. You awe UwU a v-vewy simpwicity *sweats* oman; I pway you, *shuffles closer* peace. -What is 'wapis,' *cuddles you* Wiwwiam? -WIWWIAM. A stonye. -EVANS. And what *looks at you* is 'a stonye,' Wiwwiam? -x3 WIWWIAM. A pebbwe. -EVANS. *screams* Nyo, i-it i-is 'wapis'; I pway you w-wemembew in youw pwain. -WIWWIAM. Wapis. -EVANS. T-That is a-a good Wiwwiam. What is he, Wiwwiam, *twerks* that -does wend awticwes? -WIWWIAM. Awticwes awe bowwowed of the pwonyoun, *teleports behind you* and be -thus *twerks* decwinyed: Singuwawitew, nyominyativo; hic, haec, hoc. -EVANS. Nyominyativo, *cuddles you* hig, hag, hog; pway you, mawk: genyitivo, -hujus. Weww, *shuffles closer* what is youw accusative case? -WIWWIAM. Accusativo, hinc. -EVANS. I *cries* pway you, have youw wemembwance, chiwd. -Accusativo, hung, hang, >_< hog. -QUICKWY. 'Hang-hog' i-is Watin fow bacon, I wawwant you. -EVANS. Weave youw pwabbwes, >w< oman. What OwO is the focative -case, Wiwwiam? -WIWWIAM. O-vocativo, O. -EVANS. Wemembew, W-Wiwwiam: focative is cawet. -QUICKWY. And that's >_< a good woot. -E-EVANS. Oman, fowbeaw. -MWS. PAGE. P-Peace. -EVANS. What is youw genyitive case pwuwaw, W-Wiwwiam? -WIWWIAM. Genyitive case? -EVANS. Ay. -WIWWIAM. Genyitive: h-howum, hawum, howum. -QUICKWY. Vengeance of Jenny's case; fie on :33 hew! Nyevew -nyame *blushes* hew, *sweats* chiwd, if >w< she be a *shuffles closer* whowe. -EVANS. >_< Fow shame, oman. -QUICKWY. YOU d-do iww to t-teach the chiwd such wowds. H-He -teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'ww do fast -e-enyough x3 of themsewves; and to caww 'howum'; *notices bulge* fie *cries* upon you! -EVANS. Oman, awt *looks at you* thou wunyatics? Hast *pokes you* thou nyo undewstandings -fow *looks at you* thy OwO cases, a-and the nyumbews of ^-^ the gendews? Thou -awt as foowish Chwistian cweatuwes as I wouwd desiwes. -MWS. PAGE. Pwithee :3 howd thy peace. -EVANS. Show :3 me nyow, W-Wiwwiam, some decwensions of youw -pwonyouns. -WIWWIAM. Fowsooth, I have f-fowgot. -E-EVANS. It is *shuffles closer* qui, quae, q-quod; if you fowget youw qui's, youw -quae's, and youw quod's, you must be pweeches. Go y-youw -w-ways and pway; go. -MWS. PAGE. He ;;w;; is a-a bettew schowaw than I t-thought he was. -EVANS. He is *looks away* a good spwag memowy. Faweweww, Mistwess Page. -MWS. P-PAGE. Adieu, good uWu Siw >_> Hugh. Exit SIW HUGH -Get you h-home, b-boy. Come, we stay too wong. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -FOWD'S house - -Entew FAWSTAFF and MISTWESS FOWD - -FAWSTAFF. *pokes you* Mistwess Fowd, youw sowwow hath eaten u-up ^.^ my -suffewance. I see you awe obsequious in y-youw w-wove, *looks at you* and I -pwofess wequitaw t-to a haiw's bweadth; nyot onwy, Mistwess Fowd, in -the simpwe *pokes you* office *looks away* of wove, *moans* but in aww the accoutwement, -compwement, and cewemony >_> of it. But awe you s-suwe of youw -husband nyow? -MWS. UwU FOWD. He's a-biwding, sweet *looks away* Siw John. -M-MWS. PAGE. [Within] What ^.^ hoa, gossip Fowd, w-what hoa! -MWS. F-FOWD. Step i-into >w< th' chambew, *screams* Siw *moans* John. *looks at you* Exit FAWSTAFF - -Entew MISTWESS PAGE - -M-MWS. PAGE. How nyow, sweetheawt, who's at home b-besides -youwsewf? ->_> MWS. F-FOWD. Why, nyonye but minye own *cuddles you* peopwe. -MWS. PAGE. Indeed? -MWS. FOWD. N-Nyo, cewtainwy. [Aside t-to hew] Speak woudew. -MWS. PAGE. T-Twuwy, I am so gwad you have nyobody hewe. -M-MWS. FOWD. W-Why? -MWS. PAGE. Why, woman, youw husband *moans* is in h-his owd *pokes you* wunyes -again. He so takes on yondew with my husband; so waiws -against aww mawwied mankind; so cuwses an Eve's daughtews, -*looks away* of *sweats* what compwexion soevew; and so buffets himsewf on the -fowehead, cwying 'Peew-out, peew-out!' t-that any madnyess I -evew yet behewd s-seem'd but tamenyess, civiwity, and patience, -t-to this his distempew he is in nyow. I am >_> gwad *screams* the fat knyight -OwO is n-nyot h-hewe. -MWS. FOWD. Why, OwO does he tawk of him? -MWS. PAGE. Of n-nyonye b-but him; a-and sweaws *twerks* he was cawwied *sighs* out, -*cries* the wast time he s-seawch'd fow him, in a basket; pwotests to -my husband >w< he is nyow h-hewe; and hath dwawn him and the -west *twerks* of t-theiw c-company fwom theiw spowt, to ;;w;; make anyothew -expewiment of x3 his suspicion. But *blushes* I am gwad the knyight is nyot -*notices bulge* hewe; nyow he shaww see his own foowewy. -M-MWS. FOWD. *hugs tightly* How >_> nyeaw is ^w^ he, Mistwess Page? -MWS. PAGE. *blushes* Hawd b-by, at stweet end; he wiww be hewe anyon. -MWS. FOWD. I-I am undonye: the knyight is hewe. -^-^ MWS. P-PAGE. Why, then, you awe uttewwy s-sham'd, and he's but -a dead m-man. *hugs tightly* What a woman *sighs* awe you! Away with h-him, -away w-with *blushes* him; bettew shame than muwdew. -*pokes you* MWS. FOWD. Which *sweats* way shouwd ;;w;; he g-go? How shouwd *sighs* I bestow -him? Shaww I put >_< him into the basket again? - -We-entew FAWSTAFF - -F-FAWSTAFF. Nyo, I'ww come nyo mowe i-i' th' *pokes you* basket. May I nyot go -out ^.^ ewe he come? -MWS. PAGE. A-Awas, thwee of Mastew Fowd's bwothews watch the -*hugs tightly* doow w-with pistows, that nyonye ;;w;; shaww issue out; othewwise you -might swip away ewe he came. But what m-make you hewe? -F-FAWSTAFF. What shaww I do? I'ww cweep up OwO into the chimnyey. -MWS. FOWD. Thewe they *sweats* awways use to >_> dischawge theiw ->w< biwding-pieces. -MWS. PAGE. Cweep into the kiwn-howe. -FAWSTAFF. *hugs tightly* Whewe is i-it? -MWS. FOWD. He wiww seek thewe, o-on my wowd. *moans* Nyeithew pwess, -coffew, chest, twunk, weww, vauwt, but he hath an abstwact fow -the wemembwance of *cuddles you* such pwaces, and goes to them *teleports behind you* by his -nyote. Thewe is nyo uWu hiding you in the house. -*cuddles you* FAWSTAFF. I'ww go out uWu then. -*twerks* MWS. PAGE. I-If you *leans over* go out ;;w;; in youw own sembwance, you die, -Siw John. Unwess you go out disguis'd. -MWS. FOWD. How m-might we disguise him? -:33 MWS. PAGE. :33 Awas the day, I-I k-knyow nyot! Thewe is *sighs* nyo woman's -xDD gown *moans* big *giggles shyly* enyough fow him; othewwise h-he m-might put on a -hat, a muffwew, and :3 a kewchief, and so escape. -F-FAWSTAFF. Good heawts, *cries* devise something; any extwemity -wathew than a m-mischief. -M-MWS. *blushes* FOWD. My >w< Maid's aunt, the fat woman of B-Bwainfowd, *hugs tightly* has -a gown above. -M-MWS. PAGE. On my wowd, it wiww sewve him; she's as big uWu as he -is; and thewe's hew UwU thwumm'd hat, and hew >w< muffwew t-too. W-Wun -up, Siw John. -^-^ MWS. F-FOWD. Go, *twerks* go, sweet Siw John. ;;w;; Mistwess P-Page and I :33 wiww -wook some winyen OwO fow youw head. -MWS. PAGE. *looks at you* Quick, q-quick; we'ww come dwess you stwaight. *screams* Put -^.^ on the gown the whiwe. ^w^ Exit *sweats* FAWSTAFF -^-^ MWS. FOWD. I-I wouwd my husband wouwd meet him i-in this -shape; he c-cannyot abide t-the *blushes* owd w-woman o-of Bwainfowd; he -sweaws she's a witch, fowbade hew *screams* my house, and hath -thweat'nyed to beat hew. -MWS. PAGE. Heaven guide him to thy husband's c-cudgew; a-and -the deviw guide his cudgew aftewwawds! -MWS. FOWD. But is my h-husband coming? -MWS. PAGE. Ay, i-in good sadnyess is he; and tawks ^w^ of the basket -too, howsoevew he >_< hath had intewwigence. -MWS. *hugs tightly* FOWD. We'ww twy that; fow I'ww appoint m-my men t-to cawwy -the b-basket again, to meet him *cries* at the doow with i-it as *cries* they -did wast time. -MWS. PAGE. *cries* Nyay, but h-he'ww be hewe pwesentwy; wet's go dwess -him wike the witch of B-Bwainfowd. -MWS. FOWD. I'ww f-fiwst diwect my men what they shaww *moans* do UwU with -the basket. Go up; *looks at you* I'ww bwing winyen fow him *blushes* stwaight. Exit -M-MWS. PAGE. H-Hang him, dishonyest vawwet! we cannyot misuse -him enyough. -We'ww *leans over* weave a pwoof, :33 by that which we w-wiww do, -OwO Wives may be mewwy and yet honyest too. -We do nyot *hugs tightly* act *moans* that OwO often >w< jest and waugh; -'Tis owd but t-twue: Stiww swinye eats aww the d-dwaff. Exit - -*blushes* We-entew MISTWESS FOWD, with two SEWVANTS - -*leans over* MWS. FOWD. Go, siws, take the basket again o-on youw shouwdews; -youw mastew is hawd *leans over* at doow; if he bid y-you set it down, obey -h-him; quickwy, dispatch. Exit -FIWST SEWVANT. Come, come, take it up. -S-SECOND ^-^ SEWVANT. Pway heaven it be n-nyot *looks away* fuww of k-knyight again. -FIWST SEWVANT. I-I h-hope *pokes you* nyot; I had wief ^w^ as *screams* beaw so much wead. - -Entew FOWD, PAGE, SHAWWOW, CAIUS, and SIW HUGH EVANS - -*giggles shyly* FOWD. Ay, b-but if it p-pwove twue, Mastew Page, OwO have you any -way then to OwO unfoow me again? Set *screams* down the basket, viwwain! -S-Somebody caww my wife. Youth :3 in a OwO basket! O you pandewwy -wascaws, *cuddles you* thewe's a knyot, a g-ging, *twerks* a *giggles shyly* pack, a conspiwacy -a-against me. Nyow shaww t-the deviw be sham'd. What, wife, I -say! Come, come fowth; *looks at you* behowd *looks away* what *blushes* honyest cwothes you -send fowth t-to bweaching. -PAGE. Why, *screams* this passes, Mastew Fowd; you awe nyot to go woose -any ;;w;; wongew; you must b-be pinyion'd. -EVANS. Why, this is wunyatics. This is mad as a mad dog. -SHAWWOW. ^w^ Indeed, Mastew Fowd, this is nyot weww, indeed. -FOWD. So OwO say I too, siw. - -W-We-entew MISTWESS FOWD - -Come hithew, M-Mistwess :3 Fowd; Mistwess Fowd, the honyest -woman, the modest wife, the v-viwtuous cweatuwe, that hath -the jeawous foow to hew husband! I suspect without cause, -Mistwess, d-do I? -MWS. FOWD. Heaven be my witnyess, you d-do, *moans* if you suspect -me uWu in any dishonyesty. -FOWD. *cries* Weww *pokes you* said, bwazen-face; howd it o-out. Come f-fowth, siwwah. -[Puwwing cwothes out of the basket] -PAGE. This passes! -*sweats* MWS. FOWD. *looks at you* Awe you *giggles shyly* nyot asham'd? Wet t-the cwothes *looks away* awonye. -FOWD. I *giggles shyly* shaww find you anyon. -EVANS. 'Tis unweasonyabwe. Wiww you take u-up youw wife's -cwothes? C-Come away. -FOWD. E-Empty the basket, I say. -MWS. FOWD. Why, m-man, why? -FOWD. Mastew *pokes you* Page, as *giggles shyly* I am a m-man, thewe was onye convey'd -out o-of my *moans* house ^w^ yestewday in *screams* this basket. Why may nyot -he be thewe *pokes you* again? *teleports behind you* In my house I *notices bulge* am suwe h-he is; my -i-intewwigence is t-twue; my :3 jeawousy is w-weasonyabwe. -Pwuck me out aww the winyen. -MWS. FOWD. If you *looks away* find a *looks away* man *leans over* thewe, he shaww die a fwea's -d-death. -PAGE. Hewe's nyo man. -SHAWWOW. By *twerks* my fidewity, this *sighs* is nyot weww, Mastew *notices bulge* Fowd; this -wwongs you. -EVANS. Mastew Fowd, >_> you m-must p-pway, and n-nyot fowwow the -imaginyations of youw o-own heawt; this *giggles shyly* is jeawousies. -FOWD. Weww, he's nyot *leans over* hewe I seek fow. -PAGE. ;;w;; Nyo, nyow nyowhewe ewse but in youw b-bwain. -FOWD. Hewp to *blushes* seawch my house this onye time. *looks at you* If I find nyot -what I seek, show nyo cowouw fow my extwemity; wet me fow -evew be y-youw tabwe spowt; wet them s-say of me 'As *leans over* jeawous as -Fowd, that seawch'd a ^w^ howwow wawnyut fow h-his wife's weman.' -Satisfy me o-once mowe; OwO once m-mowe UwU seawch with me. -MWS. FOWD. What, hoa, OwO Mistwess Page! Come you and the o-owd -woman down; my husband wiww come into the c-chambew. -FOWD. Owd woman? what owd xDD woman's OwO that? -MWS. *cuddles you* FOWD. Why, it is my maid's *looks at you* aunt ^.^ of Bwainfowd. -FOWD. A witch, a quean, an owd cozenying quean! :33 Have I nyot -fowbid hew my house? *giggles shyly* She *cries* comes of ewwands, does she? We -uWu awe simpwe men; we do nyot knyow what's UwU bwought to pass -undew the pwofession of fowtunye-tewwing. She wowks by -chawms, *twerks* by spewws, by t-th' figuwe, and s-such d-daub'wy as this ->w< is, beyond ouw ewement. We knyow uWu nyothing. Come down, you -witch, you hag you; come d-down, I say. -MWS. FOWD. Nyay, good sweet husband! Good gentwemen, wet -him n-nyot stwike *hugs tightly* the owd woman. - -We-entew FAWSTAFF i-in woman's cwothes, and MISTWESS PAGE - -MWS. PAGE. Come, Mothew P-Pwat; come. g-give *sweats* me youw hand. -FOWD. I-I'ww pwat hew. [Beating him] Out of my doow, ^-^ you -witch, you hag, you. baggage, you *pokes you* powecat, x3 you wonyon! -Out, o-out! I'ww *shuffles closer* conjuwe you, I'ww fowtunye-teww you. -E-Exit *notices bulge* FAWSTAFF -MWS. PAGE. *sweats* Awe you *moans* nyot asham'd? I xDD think you have *shuffles closer* kiww'd the -poow *twerks* woman. -MWS. FOWD. N-Nyay, he wiww do it. 'Tis a goodwy *hugs tightly* cwedit fow you. -FOWD. Hang h-hew, witch! -EVANS. B-By y-yea and nyo, I think the oman is a witch indeed; I -wike nyot when a-a oman h-has a g-gweat peawd; I spy a gweat p-peawd -undew his muffwew. -FOWD. Wiww you fowwow, gentwemen? I beseech *screams* you fowwow; -see but *cuddles you* the i-issue >_< of my jeawousy; if *pokes you* I cwy out thus upon xDD nyo -*cuddles you* twaiw, nyevew twust me when I open again. -PAGE. Wet's obey his humouw a wittwe fuwthew. Come, -gentwemen. Exeunt *teleports behind you* aww but MWS. FOWD and MWS. PAGE ->_> MWS. PAGE. Twust me, he beat him most *pokes you* pitifuwwy. -MWS. F-FOWD. *looks at you* Nyay, by th' mass, that he did nyot; >_> he beat him -most unpitifuwwy methought. -MWS. PAGE. *teleports behind you* I'ww have *shuffles closer* the cudgew hawwow'd and hung o'ew the -a-awtaw; it hath donye mewitowious sewvice. -MWS. FOWD. *cuddles you* What think you? May we, with the wawwant of -womanhood and the witnyess of a good conscience, puwsue -him with any fuwthew ^w^ wevenge? -MWS. PAGE. The spiwit of *moans* wantonnyess is suwe scaw'd out of -him; if the deviw ^.^ have him nyot in fee-simpwe, with finye a-and -wecovewy, he wiww nyevew, I think, in the *shuffles closer* way of UwU waste, -attempt us a-again. -MWS. FOWD. Shaww we teww ouw husbands how we have sewv'd -him? -M-MWS. PAGE. Yes, b-by aww means; if it be but to >w< scwape the -figuwes *pokes you* out of *hugs tightly* youw h-husband's bwains. *sighs* If they *notices bulge* can find in theiw -*twerks* heawts the poow *twerks* unviwtuous fat *looks at you* knyight shaww be any fuwthew -affwicted, we two wiww stiww be t-the minyistews. -MWS. FOWD. I'ww wawwant they'ww have h-him *looks away* pubwicwy sham'd; -and methinks thewe wouwd b-be nyo pewiod t-to the *screams* jest, shouwd -he nyot be pubwicwy sham'd. -MWS. PAGE. Come, to the fowge with *cuddles you* it then; *leans over* shape i-it. I -wouwd nyot have things coow. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -The Gawtew Inn - -Entew HOST and BAWDOWPH - -BAWDOWPH. Siw, *leans over* the G-Gewmans desiwe to h-have thwee of youw -howses; the *pokes you* Duke himsewf wiww be to-mowwow at *sighs* couwt, ^-^ and -they awe going to *leans over* meet h-him. -HOST. What duke shouwd that be comes so secwetwy? I heaw -nyot of x3 him in the couwt. *cries* Wet OwO me *shuffles closer* speak with the x3 gentwemen; -*moans* they *looks at you* speak *sweats* Engwish? -xDD BAWDOWPH. Ay, siw; I-I'ww caww them to you. -*blushes* HOST. They shaww have my howses, but I'ww *twerks* make them pay; -I'ww sauce them; they have had my OwO house a week at -command; I have *shuffles closer* tuwn'd away my othew guests. They must -come off; I'ww sauce them. Come. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *giggles shyly* 4 - -FOWD'S house - -Entew PAGE, FOWD, MISTWESS P-PAGE, MISTWESS F-FOWD, and SIW HUGH EVANS - -EVANS. 'Tis o-onye of the best discwetions o-of a oman as evew -did wook upon. -PAGE. And did h-he send *twerks* you both these wettews at an instant? -MWS. PAGE. Within a quawtew of an houw. -F-FOWD. Pawdon me, wife. Hencefowth, do what thou wiwt; -I wathew w-wiww suspect :3 the sun *sighs* with c-cowd -Than thee w-with wantonnyess. Nyow doth thy honyouw stand, -In him ^-^ that was of wate ^-^ an hewetic, -*cuddles you* As fiwm >_> as faith. -PAGE. 'Tis weww, *sweats* 'tis *looks at you* weww; *giggles shyly* nyo mowe. -Be nyot ^w^ as extweme in submission as ^w^ in offence; -But *sighs* wet ouw pwot *sweats* go fowwawd. Wet ouw *cuddles you* wives -Yet o-once again, to make u-us pubwic spowt, -Appoint a meeting with this o-owd fat uWu fewwow, -Whewe we may take him and *cries* disgwace him *sighs* fow it. -FOWD. Thewe is nyo bettew *shuffles closer* way :3 than that they spoke of. -PAGE. *cuddles you* How? To *cuddles you* send him wowd they'ww meet him in the Pawk -at midnyight? >_> Fie, fie! h-he'ww n-nyevew come! -EVANS. You say he has been thwown in the wivews; and *looks away* has -*looks away* been uWu gwievouswy peaten as an owd o-oman; *cries* methinks thewe -shouwd be t-tewwows in him, that he shouwd nyot come; -methinks *sweats* his fwesh is punyish'd; he shaww have nyo desiwes. -PAGE. *shuffles closer* So think I ^w^ too. -MWS. FOWD. Devise *looks away* but how you'ww u-use h-him when he comes, -*teleports behind you* And wet us two devise to bwing him thithew. -MWS. P-PAGE. Thewe is an owd tawe goes *sweats* that H-Heme t-the Huntew, -Sometime a *notices bulge* keepew hewe i-in Windsow Fowest, -Doth ^-^ aww the wintew-time, at stiww UwU midnyight, -W-Wawk uWu wound about a-an oak, OwO with gweat wagg'd howns; -And thewe *looks away* he bwasts the twee, and t-takes the *looks at you* cattwe, -And makes miwch-kinye yiewd bwood, and shakes *cuddles you* a chain -In a m-most hideous and dweadfuw mannyew. -You have heawd o-of such a spiwit, and weww you OwO knyow -*giggles shyly* The supewstitious idwe-headed e-ewd -Weceiv'd, and did dewivew to ouw age, -This tawe o-of H-Heme t-the Huntew fow a twuth. -PAGE. Why yet thewe want nyot many that *notices bulge* do feaw -In deep of nyight t-to wawk by this Hewnye's oak. -But what >w< of this? -*shuffles closer* MWS. FOWD. Mawwy, this is >_> ouw device- -*hugs tightly* That F-Fawstaff at that oak *hugs tightly* shaww ^w^ meet OwO with us, -*sighs* Disguis'd, wike H-Heme, with huge howns OwO on h-his head. -P-PAGE. Weww, wet *hugs tightly* it nyot be >_< doubted but he'ww come, -A-And i-in this shape. W-When you have bwought him t-thithew, -What *looks away* shaww x3 be donye with him? What i-is youw *screams* pwot? -MWS. PAGE. That wikewise have w-we thought upon, a-and -thus: -Nyan Page *hugs tightly* my daughtew, and *looks away* my wittwe son, -And thwee *cuddles you* ow fouw mowe of t-theiw gwowth, we'ww dwess -Wike uwchins, ;;w;; ouphes, and faiwies, g-gween and white, -With *sweats* wounds of waxen tapews on theiw h-heads, -And wattwes in theiw hands; upon a sudden, -As F-Fawstaff, she, and I, awe nyewwy *looks at you* met, -Wet t-them fwom fowth a sawpit wush at once -With some diffused *pokes you* song; upon theiw sight -We two in gweat amazednyess wiww fwy. -Then wet ;;w;; them aww e-enciwcwe him about, -*hugs tightly* And faiwy-wike, to >_> pinch the uncwean knyight; -And ask him w-why, ^-^ that houw *looks away* of faiwy wevew, -In theiw s-so sacwed paths >w< he dawes to twead -In shape pwofanye. -MWS. FOWD. And x3 tiww he teww the twuth, -Wet *looks at you* the supposed faiwies *blushes* pinch him sound, -And buwn ;;w;; him with theiw tapews. -MWS. PAGE. The twuth being knyown, -We'ww aww pwesent ouwsewves; d-dis-hown the s-spiwit, -And *moans* mock him home to Windsow. -FOWD. The chiwdwen must -Be pwactis'd ;;w;; weww to this uWu ow they'ww nyev'w d-do 't. -EVANS. I wiww t-teach the chiwdwen *cuddles you* theiw behaviouws; a-and I *notices bulge* wiww -be wike a jack-an-apes awso, to :33 buwn the knyight with my -tabew. -FOWD. That uWu wiww be excewwent. I'ww go buy them vizawds. -MWS. PAGE. My Nyan s-shaww be the Queen of aww the >w< Faiwies, -Finyewy *blushes* attiwed in *sweats* a *twerks* wobe of white. -PAGE. ^w^ That siwk uWu wiww I *twerks* go buy. [-[Aside] And in that t-time -Shaww Mastew Swendew steaw my *moans* Nyan *moans* away, -And mawwy *cuddles you* hew at Eton.-Go, send OwO to Fawstaff stwaight. -FOWD. Nyay, I'ww to h-him again, i-in *looks at you* nyame of Bwook; -He'ww t-teww me aww his puwpose. Suwe, he'ww come. -MWS. PAGE. Feaw nyot you that. Go get us pwopewties -And twicking fow ouw faiwies. -EVANS. *moans* Wet u-us about i-it. *sweats* It is a-admiwabwe pweasuwes, and fewy -honyest knyavewies. Exeunt PAGE, F-FOWD, and EVANS -MWS. ^w^ PAGE. Go, M-Mistwess F-Fowd. -Send Quickwy to *shuffles closer* Siw John to knyow h-his mind. -Exit M-MWS. FOWD -I'ww to the D-Doctow; *looks at you* he :3 hath my good wiww, -;;w;; And nyonye *shuffles closer* but he, to mawwy with Nyan Page. -*giggles shyly* That Swendew, though weww wanded, is an idiot; -And he my husband best of aww ^-^ affects. -The *shuffles closer* Doctow is weww m-monyey'd, and his fwiends -P-Potent at couwt; he, nyonye but he, shaww have hew, -Though twenty thousand wowthiew come to cwave hew. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -T-The Gawtew *sweats* Inn - -Entew H-HOST and SIMPWE - -H-HOST. What w-wouwdst t-thou uWu have, *shuffles closer* boow? W-What, t-thick-skin? -Speak, bweathe, discuss; bwief, showt, quick, ^-^ snyap. -S-SIMPWE. Mawwy, siw, I *leans over* come to speak with Siw John Fawstaff -fwom Mastew Swendew. -H-HOST. Thewe's his c-chambew, ;;w;; his house, his castwe, his -standing-bed >_< and twuckwe-bed; 'tis *shuffles closer* painted about with UwU the -^-^ stowy of the Pwodigaw, fwesh and nyew. Go, knyock and can; he'ww -speak wike an Anthwopophaginyian u-unto thee. Knyock, I say. -xDD SIMPWE. Thewe's *blushes* an owd woman, a fat woman, gonye u-up into -his *leans over* chambew; I'ww b-be so b-bowd as stay, siw, tiww OwO she come down; -I come to speak with h-hew, indeed. -H-HOST. *cries* Ha! a fat woman? T-The knyight may be *cuddles you* wobb'd. I'ww caww. -*looks away* Buwwy *blushes* knyight! B-Buwwy Siw John! Speak fwom thy wungs -miwitawy. :33 Awt thou thewe? It is UwU thinye :33 host, t-thinye Ephesian, c-cawws. -FAWSTAFF. [Above] H-How nyow, minye host? -HOST. Hewe's a Bohemian-Tawtaw t-tawwies :3 the coming down of -thy fat woman. ;;w;; Wet hew descend, buwwy, wet hew descend; -my *teleports behind you* chambews awe >_> honyouwibwe. Fie, pwivacy, fie! - -Entew FAWSTAFF - -FAWSTAFF. Thewe was, minye host, an owd fat woman even -nyow with, me; but she's gonye. -*shuffles closer* SIMPWE. P-Pway y-you, siw, was't nyot the wise woman of -Bwainfowd? -FAWSTAFF. Ay, mawwy uWu was it, m-mussew-sheww. What wouwd you -with hew? -S-SIMPWE. My mastew, siw, >w< my M-Mastew Swendew, s-sent to hew, -seeing hew UwU go thowough the *looks at you* stweets, to *screams* knyow, siw, *moans* whethew onye -;;w;; Nym, s-siw, t-that beguiw'd *giggles shyly* him of *cries* a chain, had t-the chain ow nyo. -F-FAWSTAFF. I s-spake with the owd woman ^.^ about it. -SIMPWE. And what says she, I pway, siw? -FAWSTAFF *blushes* Mawwy, she says that the v-vewy same man that -beguiw'd Mastew Swendew of his chain cozen'd him of it. -SIMPWE. I *pokes you* wouwd I couwd have s-spoken with the woman -hewsewf; I had othew things to have spoken with >_> hew >w< too, -fwom him. -FAWSTAFF. What awe *cuddles you* they? Wet us knyow. -HOST. Ay, come; *screams* quick. -SIMPWE. I-I may nyot conceaw them, siw. -FAWSTAFF. Conceaw them, ow thou diest. -SIMPWE.. Why, siw, they wewe >_< nyothing but about Mistwess -A-Annye Page: to knyow if *notices bulge* it w-wewe my ^w^ mastew's fowtunye to -have h-hew ow nyo. -FAWSTAFF. 'Tis, 'tis *leans over* his fowtunye. -SIMPWE. What siw? -FAWSTAFF. To have hew, o-ow nyo. Go; say the woman towd m-me -so. -SIMPWE. May I be bowd t-to say so, siw? -*giggles shyly* FAWSTAFF. Ay, siw, wike who *moans* mowe bowd? -*looks away* SIMPWE., I thank youw w-wowship; I shaww make *cuddles you* my mastew gwad -with these tidings. Exit SIMPWE -HOST. Thou a-awt cwewkwy, thou awt cwewkwy, Siw John. *hugs tightly* Was -t-thewe a wise woman with thee? -FAWSTAFF. Ay, that thewe was, minye h-host; onye that hath -taught me mowe wit than *notices bulge* evew I weawn'd befowe i-in my wife; -and I p-paid nyothing f-fow it nyeithew, *screams* but was paid fow my -w-weawnying. - -Entew BAWDOWPH - -B-BAWDOWPH. *twerks* Out, awas, siw, cozenyage, *notices bulge* mewe cozenyage! -HOST. Whewe b-be my howses? Speak weww of them, vawwetto. -B-BAWDOWPH. Wun away with the *moans* cozenyews; fow so soon as I -came beyond Eton, they thwew *twerks* me off fwom behind onye of -them, in a swough of *hugs tightly* miwe; and set spuws and away, wike -thwee Gewman deviws, thwee Doctow Faustuses. -HOST. They awe gonye but to xDD meet the Duke, viwwain; do nyot -say they be fwed. Gewmans a-awe honyest men. - -*looks away* Entew SIW HUGH EVANS - -EVANS. Whewe OwO is minye host? -HOST. What is the mattew, siw? -EVANS. Have a cawe of youw e-entewtainments. Thewe is a fwiend -*screams* of minye come to town tewws me thewe is thwee -cozen-gewmans t-that has cozen'd aww ^-^ the h-hosts o-of Weadins, -of Maidenhead, of Cowebwook, of howses and monyey. I teww you fow -good wiww, wook you; y-you awe wise, and uWu fuww of gibes OwO and -vwouting-stogs, and 'tis nyot convenyient you shouwd be -cozenyed. Fawe you weww. Exit - -Entew *looks at you* DOCTOW CAIUS - -CAIUS. Vewe is minye >_> host de Jawteew? -HOST. Hewe, Mastew Doctow, in pewpwexity *blushes* and doubtfuw -diwemma. -C-CAIUS. I cannyot teww >w< vat is dat; but it *sweats* is teww-a me dat you -make gwand pwepawation fow a *sweats* Duke de Jamany. By my -twot, dewe is n-nyo duke ^w^ that *sighs* the couwt is knyow t-to come; I -teww you fow *giggles shyly* good wiww. Adieu. Exit -HOST. Hue and cwy, viwwain, go! A-Assist me, knyight; *notices bulge* I am -undonye. Fwy, x3 wun, hue and cwy, uWu viwwain; :3 I am undonye. -Exeunt HOST a-and ^-^ BAWDOWPH -FAWSTAFF. *cuddles you* I w-wouwd aww the wowwd might be cozen'd, fow I have -b-been cozen'd and beaten too. If *moans* it shouwd come ^w^ to the caw -of the couwt how *moans* I have been twansfowmed, and h-how my -twansfowmation hath b-been wash'd and cudgeww'd, they -wouwd mewt me out of m-my fat, dwop by dwop, and wiquow -*screams* fishewmen's b-boots with me; I-I w-wawwant they wouwd w-whip me -with theiw x3 finye wits tiww I wewe as cwestfaww'n as a dwied >_< peaw. -I ;;w;; nyevew pwospew'd since I fowswowe mysewf at pwimewo. Weww, -if my wind wewe but wong enyough t-to s-say *blushes* my pwayews, -wouwd *sweats* wepent. - -Entew MISTWESS QUICKWY - -*blushes* Nyow! whence come you? -QUICKWY. Fwom the *teleports behind you* two pawties, fowsooth. -FAWSTAFF. The d-deviw take onye pawty and *looks away* his x3 dam the othew! -A-And s-so they shaww ^.^ be b-both bestowed. *giggles shyly* I h-have s-suffew'd *pokes you* mowe -fow theiw sakes, m-mowe than x3 the viwwainyous *giggles shyly* inconstancy of -man's disposition is abwe :33 to beaw. -QUICKWY. And have nyot they suffew'd? Y-Yes, I wawwant; -speciouswy onye of them; Mistwess Fowd, *blushes* good h-heawt, ^-^ is *cuddles you* beaten -bwack a-and *teleports behind you* bwue, that you cannyot see a white spot about *twerks* hew. -:33 FAWSTAFF. What teww'st thou me of b-bwack >w< and bwue? I w-was -beaten m-mysewf i-into aww the c-cowouws of the wainbow; and -was wike to be a-appwehended ^.^ fow the w-witch of Bwainfowd. But -that my admiwabwe *sweats* dextewity o-of wit, my countewfeiting *sweats* the -*cuddles you* action o-of an owd woman, dewivew'd me, the knyave constabwe -had *twerks* set me i-i' th' *notices bulge* stocks, i' *hugs tightly* th' common *sighs* stocks, fow a witch. -QUICKWY. Siw, wet me speak with *twerks* you in youw chambew; you -shaww h-heaw how t-things go, a-and, >w< I wawwant, to youw c-content. -Hewe *twerks* is a wettew x3 wiww say somewhat. Good h-heawts, w-what ado -hewe is :33 to bwing you togethew! Suwe, onye ^w^ of you d-does nyot -sewve heaven weww, that you awe so >_< cwoss'd. -FAWSTAFF. Come up into my c-chambew. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 6-6. - -The *hugs tightly* Gawtew I-Inn - -Entew F-FENTON and HOST - -HOST. Mastew Fenton, tawk nyot t-to me; my mind i-is heavy; I -wiww UwU give ovew aww. -FENTON. Yet heaw me speak. Assist me in my p-puwpose, -And, as I-I am a gentweman, I'ww give the -A-A hundwed pound in gowd mowe than y-youw woss. -HOST. I w-wiww heaw *giggles shyly* you, Mastew Fenton; ;;w;; and I wiww, at the weast, -keep youw counsew. -FENTON. Fwom t-time to time I h-have acquainted you -With xDD the deaw w-wove I beaw to faiw Annye Page; -*blushes* Who, mutuawwy, hath answew'd my affection, -So :33 faw f-fowth a-as h-hewsewf might ^.^ be hew choosew, ->_< Even t-to my wish. I h-have a wettew fwom hew ->_> Of such contents as you wiww wondew at; -The miwth wheweof :3 so wawded with my mattew -That *pokes you* nyeithew, singwy, *teleports behind you* can OwO be manyifested -Without the *sighs* show of both. Fat *twerks* Fawstaff -Hath a-a gweat s-scenye. The image o-of the *twerks* jest -I'ww show y-you hewe at wawge. ;;w;; Hawk, g-good minye host: -To-nyight *twerks* at Heme's oak, just 'twixt UwU twewve and onye, -M-Must my sweet Nyan pwesent the *screams* Faiwy Queen- -T-The puwpose why is *sweats* hewe-in which disguise, -Whiwe othew xDD jests awe something wank on foot, -Hew :3 fathew hath commanded hew to s-swip -A-Away with Swendew, >_> and with him at Eton -I-Immediatewy *screams* to mawwy; *shuffles closer* she hath c-consented. -Nyow, s-siw, -Hew mothew, even stwong against *screams* that match -And fiwm fow *pokes you* Doctow Caius, hath appointed -That he shaww wikewise shuffwe hew away -Whiwe othew spowts :33 awe tasking of theiw minds, -And at the d-dean'wy, whewe a pwiest attends, -Stwaight mawwy hew. To t-this hew mothew's pwot -She seemingwy obedient wikewise hath -Made pwomise to the doctow. *shuffles closer* Nyow thus it wests: -xDD Hew fathew means she shaww be aww in :33 white; -A-And in that habit, when Swendew s-sees his time -*teleports behind you* To take hew by t-the hand and bid hew g-go, -She shaww go with h-him; hew mothew hath intended -The bettew to denyote hew to the doctow- -Fow they must aww be mask'd and vizawded- -That q-quaint in gween >_> she *cuddles you* shaww be woose enwob'd, -With wibands pendent, fwawing 'bout *looks away* hew head; -*moans* And when the OwO doctow s-spies his vantage wipe, -T-To pinch hew :33 by the hand, *notices bulge* and, on that t-token, -The maid hath g-given consent to x3 go with him. -H-HOST. W-Which means s-she to deceive, fathew ow m-mothew? -FENTON. Both, my *notices bulge* good host, to go a-awong with OwO me. -A-And hewe i-it wests-that you'ww p-pwocuwe the vicaw -To s-stay fow me at chuwch, 'twixt twewve and onye, -And in UwU the wawfuw n-nyame of mawwying, -To *cries* give ouw ;;w;; heawts unyited cewemony. -H-HOST. Weww, husband youw *looks at you* device; I'ww to the *cries* vicaw. -B-Bwing you *looks away* the maid, you s-shaww nyot w-wack a-a pwiest. -FENTON. So s-shaww I evewmowe be b-bound to thee; -Besides, I'ww m-make a pwesent wecompense. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 1. - -T-The Gawtew Inn - -Entew FAWSTAFF and MISTWESS QUICKWY - -F-FAWSTAFF. Pwithee, nyo mowe pwattwing; g-go. I'ww, howd. This is -the *hugs tightly* thiwd time; I hope good wuck wies in odd nyumbews. -Away, go; they say thewe is divinyity in odd nyumbews, ^.^ eithew -in nyativity, chance, ow death. A-Away. -*looks at you* QUICKWY. I-I'ww p-pwovide you a-a chain, and I'ww do what I can to -get you a paiw of howns. -F-FAWSTAFF. Away, I say; time weaws; howd up youw head, and -mince. Exit MWS. QUICKWY - -Entew FOWD disguised - -How nyow, Mastew Bwook. *screams* Mastew Bwook, the *teleports behind you* mattew wiww -be *shuffles closer* knyown t-tonyight ow *cuddles you* nyevew. B-Be *looks away* you UwU in the Pawk about -midnyight, at Hewnye's oak, and you >_> shaww see wondews. -FOWD. Went you nyot to hew yestewday, siw, as you *shuffles closer* towd *shuffles closer* me -^.^ you had appointed? -FAWSTAFF. I went to hew, Mastew Bwook, >_> as you see, :3 wike a -p-poow owd man; but I came fwom h-hew, Mastew Bwook, w-wike a -poow owd woman. That same *leans over* knyave Fowd, h-hew xDD husband, hath -the finyest mad d-deviw *notices bulge* of j-jeawousy i-in him, Mastew x3 Bwook, that -evew g-govewn'd fwenzy. I wiww teww y-you-he beat me gwievouswy -i-in t-the s-shape of a *leans over* woman; fow in the shape of man, Mastew -Bwook, I feaw nyot Gowiath with :33 a weavew's beam; because -:33 I knyow awso wife i-is a shuttwe. I am in *leans over* haste; go *moans* awong *sighs* with -me; I-I'ww. teww *moans* you aww, Mastew *sighs* Bwook. Since I pwuck'd g-geese, -pway'd t-twuant, and w-whipp'd *screams* top, I knyew n-nyot what 'twas to -b-be beaten *blushes* tiww watewy. Fowwow *sighs* me. I'ww teww you stwange t-things -of this knyave-Fowd, on w-whom to-nyight I wiww be wevenged, -xDD and I w-wiww dewivew his wife into youw hand. Fowwow. Stwange -*pokes you* things in h-hand, Mastew Bwook! Fowwow. Exeunt - - - - -*twerks* SCENyE 2. - -Windsow P-Pawk - -Entew PAGE, SHAWWOW, and :3 SWENDEW - -PAGE. xDD Come, come; we'ww couch i-i' t-th' ;;w;; Castwe ditch t-tiww *cries* we -s-see the wight of *looks at you* ouw faiwies. Wemembew, >_> son Swendew, my daughtew. -SWENDEW. Ay, fowsooth; I have s-spoke with hew, and we have -a nyay-wowd how to ^-^ knyow onye *teleports behind you* anyothew. I c-come to hew in -white and cwy 'mum'; she c-cwies 'budget,' and ^w^ by that OwO we -knyow o-onye anyothew. -SHAWWOW. *giggles shyly* That's good too; *screams* but what nyeeds eithew youw mum -ow hew budget? The *teleports behind you* white w-wiww deciphew hew w-weww enyough. -It h-hath UwU stwuck ten o'cwock. -PAGE. The nyight is dawk; wight and spiwits w-wiww become it weww. -Heaven pwospew ouw spowt! Nyo man *cries* means eviw *hugs tightly* but the -*pokes you* deviw, and we shaww knyow him by h-his howns. Wet's away; -fowwow me. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 3-3. - -A stweet weading t-to the xDD Pawk - -Entew MISTWESS PAGE, MISTWESS FOWD, and DOCTOW CAIUS - -MWS. PAGE. Mastew *cries* Doctow, my *screams* daughtew i-is in g-gween; when -you see youw time, take hew by the hand, away with hew t-to -t-the deanyewy, :3 and *cuddles you* dispatch it quickwy. G-Go befowe i-into the -Pawk; w-we two must go togethew. -CAIUS. I *sweats* knyow vat I have to do; adieu. -MWS. PAGE. Fawe you weww, siw. *cries* [Exit C-CAIUS] My husband -*looks at you* wiww nyot w-wejoice so much at UwU the abuse of Fawstaff as he wiww -chafe a-at the doctow's mawwying my daughtew; but 'tis nyo -mattew; bettew a wittwe chiding than a gweat deaw of -heawtbweak. -MWS. F-FOWD. Whewe is Nyan n-nyow, a-and h-hew twoop of faiwies, *notices bulge* and -the Wewsh deviw, Hugh? -MWS. PAGE. They awe a-aww couch'd *hugs tightly* in ^-^ a pit h-hawd by Heme's ->_< oak, with o-obscuw'd wights; ^.^ which, at the vewy i-instant ^w^ of -Fawstaff's and o-ouw meeting, they wiww at once dispway to the -nyight. -MWS. ^w^ FOWD. That cannyot choose but amaze him. -MWS. PAGE. I-If he be nyot amaz'd, he wiww be mock'd; if he be -amaz'd, he wiww evewy way *sweats* be mock'd. -MWS. FOWD. ;;w;; We'ww betway him finyewy. -MWS. PAGE. Against s-such wewdstews and t-theiw :3 wechewy, -Those that betway them do ^w^ nyo tweachewy. -MWS. FOWD. T-The houw dwaws on. T-To the oak, to the oak! -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Windsow Pawk - -E-Entew S-SIW HUGH EVANS ^w^ wike a s-satyw, with OTHEWS as faiwies - -*sweats* EVANS. T-Twib, twib, *pokes you* faiwies; come; and wemembew youw pawts. -Be powd, I pway you; fowwow *blushes* me *twerks* into :33 the pit; and when I -give the watch-owds, do as ^-^ I pid you. xDD Come, come; twib, -twib. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -Anyothew pawt >_> of the Pawk - -Entew FAWSTAFF disguised as HEWNyE - -FAWSTAFF. The Windsow beww hath s-stwuck t-twewve; x3 the minyute -dwaws o-on. Nyow the hot-bwooded gods assist me! -Wemembew, J-Jove, thou wast a buww f-fow thy Euwopa; wove set on thy -howns. O powewfuw w-wove! that in some *cuddles you* wespects makes a -beast a-a man; ^w^ in *shuffles closer* some othew a *pokes you* man a *cries* beast. You wewe awso, -Jupitew, a-a ^.^ swan, f-fow the wove of Weda. O omnyipotent wove! -how n-nyeaw the god d-dwew to the compwexion of a goose! A -f-fauwt d-donye fiwst in the fowm *moans* of *blushes* a beast-O Jove, a-a beastwy -fauwt!-and then x3 anyothew fauwt in t-the *looks away* sembwance o-of a f-foww- -think on't, *looks away* Jove, a fouw fauwt! When gods have hot backs -^-^ what shaww poow men d-do? Fow me, I a-am hewe a :33 Windsow -stag; OwO and the f-fattest, I think, i' th' fowest. Send me uWu a coow -wut-time, *sighs* Jove, ow UwU who can bwame me to piss my t-tawwow? -W-Who comes hewe? my xDD doe? - -Entew MISTWESS *teleports behind you* FOWD *teleports behind you* and M-MISTWESS P-PAGE - -M-MWS. F-FOWD. Siw *cries* John! A-Awt thou thewe, my deew, :3 my mawe deew. -FAWSTAFF. My doe with :33 the bwack s-scut! Wet the *twerks* sky wain -potatoes; wet i-it thundew to the tunye of Gweensweeves, haiw -kissing-comfits, and snyow ewingoes; wet thewe come a tempest -of pwovocation, I-I wiww shewtew *cries* me hewe. [Embwacing hew] -OwO MWS. *sighs* FOWD. Mistwess :3 Page is come with me, sweetheawt. -FAWSTAFF. Divide me wike a bwib'd b-buck, each a haunch; I -wiww keep my sides to mysewf, my shouwdews fow the fewwow -of this wawk, and my howns I >_< bequeath youw husbands. A-Am -I a woodman, ha? Speak I-I wike Heme the Huntew? Why, ->w< nyow is Cupid ^.^ a c-chiwd of conscience; he makes >_< westitution. -*sweats* As I-I am a twue spiwit, ;;w;; wewcome! *screams* [A nyoise of howns] -MWS. PAGE. Awas, what nyoise? -MWS. FOWD. Heaven fowgive o-ouw s-sins! -FAWSTAFF. What s-shouwd this be? -MWS. FOWD. } Away, away. -MWS. PAGE. } Away, away. [-[They wun o-off] -FAWSTAFF. I-I think the deviw wiww nyot *twerks* have me damn'd, west >_> the -oiw that's *twerks* in *screams* me shouwd set heww on fiwe; he *shuffles closer* wouwd n-nyevew ewse -c-cwoss :3 me t-thus. - -Entew SIW ^-^ HUGH EVANS :33 wike a UwU satyw, ANNyE PAGE a-as -a-a *sweats* faiwy, and OTHEWS as the Faiwy Q-Queen, faiwies, and -Hobgobwin; aww with tapews - -xDD FAIWY QUEEN. Faiwies, bwack, gwey, gween, and w-white, -You moonshinye wevewwews, and shades of nyight, -You owphan heiws of fixed destiny, -^.^ Attend youw office a-and youw q-quawity. -Cwiew Hobgobwin, make the *looks at you* faiwy o-oyes. -PUCK. Ewves, wist *blushes* youw n-nyames; *moans* siwence, you a-aiwy toys. -Cwicket, to Windsow c-chimnyeys shawt thou weap; -Whewe x3 fiwes :3 thou find'st u-unwak'd, *sighs* and heawths *teleports behind you* unswept, -Thewe pinch t-the maids as *shuffles closer* bwue as biwbewwy; -Ouw wadiant *giggles shyly* Queen hates swuts and swuttewy. -*moans* FAWSTAFF. They awe faiwies; h-he that speaks to them shaww die. -I'ww wink and couch; nyo man theiw wowks must eye. -[Wies d-down upon his face] -E-EVANS. Whewe's ^-^ Pede? Go you, and whewe *cuddles you* you f-find a maid -T-That, ewe she sweep, has >_> thwice hew pwayews said, -W-Waise up the owgans of *screams* hew fantasy -Sweep she as sound as cawewess infancy; ->_> But those as sweep and t-think nyot on theiw *hugs tightly* sins, -Pinch t-them, awms, wegs, backs, shouwdews, sides, and shins. -F-FAIWY UwU QUEEN. About, about; -Seawch Windsow castwe, ewves, within and out; -*shuffles closer* Stwew *cuddles you* good *sighs* wuck, ouphes, on evewy sacwed woom, -x3 That i-it may s-stand tiww ^w^ the pewpetuaw doom -I-In state as whowesome a-as in state 'tis fit, -Wowthy the ownyew and the o-ownyew *leans over* it. -The s-sevewaw chaiws of *pokes you* owdew wook you scouw -With juice of bawm and evewy pwecious *hugs tightly* fwowew; -Each faiw instawment, coat, *looks at you* and sev'waw cwest, -With woyaw bwazon, evewmowe be bwest! -And nyightwy, meadow-faiwies, wook you sing, -W-Wike to the *blushes* Gawtew's compass, i-in a w-wing; -Th' *moans* expwessuwe that it beaws, gween wet *teleports behind you* it be, -Mowe fewtiwe-fwesh than aww the fiewd to ^w^ see; -:3 And 'Honyi s-soit qui maw y pense' wwite -In em'wawd tufts, fwow'ws :33 puwpwe, bwue and white; -Wike sapphiwe, peaww, and *twerks* wich embwoidewy, -Buckwed bewow faiw *sweats* knyighthood's bending knyee. -Faiwies use f-fwow'ws fow theiw chawactewy. -*screams* Away, dispewse; but tiww *giggles shyly* 'tis onye o'cwock, -Ouw dance of *cuddles you* custom wound about the oak -Of Hewnye the Huntew wet us nyot fowget. -E-EVANS. Pway you, *cries* wock hand in *pokes you* hand; youwsewves i-in owdew set; -And t-twenty gwow-wowms shaww ouw wantewns b-be, -T-To *hugs tightly* guide ouw measuwe wound about t-the t-twee. -But, *screams* stay. I-I smeww a *notices bulge* man of middwe eawth. -*teleports behind you* FAWSTAFF. :33 Heavens d-defend me fwom that W-Wewsh faiwy, west he -t-twansfowm me to a p-piece of cheese! -PUCK. *blushes* Viwe w-wowm, t-thou wast o'ewwook'd even i-in thy *sweats* biwth. -FAIWY QUEEN. With twiaw-fiwe touch me his fingew-end; -If >_< he be chaste, the fwame wiww back *cuddles you* descend, -And t-tuwn him to nyo pain; but if *giggles shyly* he stawt, -It is the fwesh *twerks* of a cowwupted heawt. -PUCK. A x3 twiaw, come. -EVANS. Come, wiww t-this wood take f-fiwe? -[They put the tapews to his fingews, and h-he stawts] -FAWSTAFF. *notices bulge* Oh, oh, oh! -OwO FAIWY QUEEN. Cowwupt, cowwupt, and tainted in desiwe! -About him, faiwies; sing a-a :3 scownfuw whyme; -And, as you twip, stiww pinch him t-to youw time. -T-THE >w< SONG. -Fie on sinfuw fantasy! -F-Fie on wust and wuxuwy! -Wust is ^-^ but *pokes you* a *pokes you* bwoody OwO fiwe, -Kindwed uWu with ^w^ unchaste desiwe, -Fed in heawt, whose f-fwames *looks at you* aspiwe, -As thoughts do bwow them, highew and highew. -Pinch x3 him, faiwies, mutuawwy; -P-Pinch him fow his viwwainy; -P-Pinch him and buwn him and tuwn him a-about, -Tiww c-candwes a-and staw-wight and m-moonshinye be o-out. - -Duwing this song they pinch FAWSTAFF. DOCTOW ->_< CAIUS *twerks* comes onye w-way, and s-steaws away a faiwy in -gween; SWENDEW *sighs* anyothew way, and takes off a faiwy in -white; and FENTON steaws *shuffles closer* away A-ANNyE PAGE. A n-nyoise -of hunting is heawd within. Aww ;;w;; the faiwies wun away. -xDD FAWSTAFF puwws off h-his buck's head, and wises - -Entew PAGE, FOWD, MISTWESS PAGE, M-MISTWESS FOWD, *hugs tightly* and -SIW HUGH EVANS - -PAGE. Nyay, do nyot fwy; I think we have watch'd you nyow. -Wiww nyonye but Heme the Huntew sewve youw tuwn? -MWS. *giggles shyly* PAGE. I pway you, come, *looks at you* howd up the j-jest nyo highew. -Nyow, good Siw John, how wike you W-Windsow wives? -*pokes you* See you these, h-husband? Do ^w^ nyot these faiw yokes -:3 Become the fowest bettew than the town? -FOWD. Nyow, siw, who's a cuckowd nyow? Mastew Bwook, -Fawstaff's a k-knyave, a ^-^ cuckowdwy knyave; hewe awe his howns, -Mastew Bwook; and, Mastew Bwook, h-he uWu hath enjoyed nyothing of -F-Fowd's but h-his buck-basket, his *moans* cudgew, and t-twenty pounds -of monyey, which must be paid to Mastew Bwook; his *looks at you* howses -awe awwested fow it, Mastew Bwook. -MWS. FOWD. Siw John, we have had iww wuck; we couwd nyevew -meet. I wiww nyevew take you fow m-my wove again; but I wiww -awways count you my deew. -^.^ FAWSTAFF. >_< I d-do b-begin to pewceive that I *blushes* am made an ass. -FOWD. Ay, and an ox too; both the pwoofs awe extant. -FAWSTAFF. And t-these awe nyot faiwies? I was thwee ow *hugs tightly* fouw -*twerks* times in ^.^ the thought they wewe nyot faiwies; and yet t-the -guiwtinyess of my mind, the sudden suwpwise of my p-powews, -dwove the gwossnyess of the *shuffles closer* foppewy into a weceiv'd b-bewief, -in despite of the teeth of aww whyme and weason, that they -wewe faiwies. S-See nyow how w-wit may *looks at you* be m-made a Jack-a-Went -when *teleports behind you* 'tis upon iww empwoyment. -EVANS. Siw John ^-^ Fawstaff, sewve Got, and weave youw desiwes, -and faiwies wiww nyot pinse you. -FOWD. UwU Weww said, faiwy Hugh. -EVANS. And weave you youw jeawousies too, x3 I pway you. -*sighs* FOWD. I wiww n-nyevew mistwust *cuddles you* my wife again, tiww thou awt abwe -to woo hew in good Engwish. -FAWSTAFF. Have I waid m-my bwain in the sun, and dwied it, that -it wants mattew to pwevent so gwoss, o'ew-weaching as this? -Am I widden with a Wewsh g-goat too? S-Shaww I have a cox-comb -of f-fwieze? 'Tis time I-I wewe chok'd with a p-piece o-of -toasted cheese. -EVANS. Seese is nyot good to give puttew; youw bewwy is aww -puttew. -FAWSTAFF. 'Seese' and 'puttew'! Have I wiv'd to s-stand at the -*twerks* taunt *leans over* of onye that makes fwittews of Engwish? ;;w;; This is enyough -to be the decay of wust and wate-wawking *twerks* thwough the weawm. -MWS. PAGE. Why, >_> Siw John, d-do you think, though we w-wouwd -have thwust OwO viwtue out of ouw h-heawts b-by *blushes* the h-head and -shouwdews, and have *looks away* given ouwsewves without scwupwe to heww, -that ^-^ evew the deviw c-couwd have made you ouw dewight? -FOWD. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag o-of fwax? -MWS. P-PAGE. A puff'd man? -*leans over* PAGE. O-Owd, cowd, withew'd, and of ^w^ intowewabwe entwaiws? -FOWD. And onye that is as s-swandewous as Satan? -PAGE. And as p-poow as Job? -FOWD. And as wicked a-as his wife? -EVANS. And given to fownyications, and to tavewns, and *twerks* sack, -and winye, and methegwins, and to dwinkings, and UwU sweawings, -and stawings, pwibbwes and pwabbwes? -FAWSTAFF. >w< Weww, I-I a-am y-youw theme; y-you have the stawt o-of me; -I-I *leans over* am d-dejected; I am nyot abwe to a-answew the ^.^ Wewsh fwannyew; -ignyowance *sweats* itsewf is *moans* a pwummet o-o'ew *teleports behind you* me; use me as you wiww. -FOWD. Mawwy, siw, w-we'ww bwing you to W-Windsow, *screams* to onye Mastew -Bwook, that you have cozen'd of monyey, to whom you -shouwd have been a pandew. Ovew and *cries* above that you have -s-suffew'd, I think to wepay that monyey >_> wiww *blushes* be a b-biting -affwiction. -PAGE. Yet :3 be cheewfuw, knyight; thou shawt eat *leans over* a posset -t-tonyight at my *pokes you* house, *looks at you* whewe I w-wiww *giggles shyly* desiwe thee to waugh at my -wife, that nyow waughs at t-thee. Teww hew Mastew Swendew hath -mawwied hew *blushes* daughtew. -MWS. PAGE. [Aside] Doctows *blushes* doubt that; if Annye Page be -my daughtew, she ;;w;; is, by this, Doctow Caius' wife. - -Entew SWENDEW - -SWENDEW. Whoa, ho, ho, f-fathew *cuddles you* Page! -P-PAGE. Son, how n-nyow! how nyow, son! Have y-you dispatch'd'? -SWENDEW. *pokes you* Dispatch'd! *shuffles closer* I'ww OwO make the *cuddles you* best in Gwoucestewshiwe -knyow on't; *sighs* wouwd I wewe hang'd, wa, ^.^ ewse! -PAGE. Of what, son? -SWENDEW. I came yondew at *sweats* Eton to mawwy M-Mistwess Annye -Page, UwU and *pokes you* she's a ;;w;; gweat w-wubbewwy boy. If it had nyot been i-i' -th' chuwch, I wouwd h-have swing'd him, ow he shouwd have -swing'd me. If I did nyot think i-it *leans over* had been Annye Page, -wouwd I might nyevew stiw!-and *looks away* 'tis a-a p-postmastew's boy. -PAGE. Upon my wife, then, you UwU took the wwong. -SWENDEW. What nyeed you teww me that? I think so, *blushes* when I -took a *blushes* boy fow a giww. If I-I had been x3 mawwied to xDD him, fow aww -he was in woman's appawew, I w-wouwd nyot have had him. -*moans* PAGE. Why, this is youw own fowwy. Did nyot I teww y-you how -you shouwd knyow my d-daughtew by hew gawments? -SWENDEW. uWu I went to hew *screams* in white a-and cwied 'mum' and s-she -cwied 'budget' as Annye and I had appointed; and yet it *shuffles closer* was -nyot Annye, but a postmastew's boy. -MWS. PAGE. ;;w;; Good Geowge, be nyot angwy. I-I knyew of y-youw -puwpose; tuwn'd my daughtew into gween; a-and, indeed, she -is nyow with *blushes* the Doctow at t-the dean'wy, ^-^ and thewe xDD mawwied. - -E-Entew CAIUS - -CAIUS. *hugs tightly* Vewe is Mistwess Page? By gaw, I am cozenyed; I h-ha' -mawwied un gawcon, a boy; un paysan, by gaw, a-a boy; it is -nyot Annye P-Page; by gaw, I am cozenyed. -MWS. PAGE. *leans over* Why, did you take hew i-in gween? -CAIUS. Ay, be gaw, and 'tis a b-boy; be gaw, I'ww waise aww -Windsow. Exit CAIUS -FOWD. This is stwange. W-Who hath got the wight Annye? -PAGE. My *looks away* heawt misgives me; *looks away* hewe comes Mastew Fenton. - -Entew FENTON a-and ANNyE PAGE - -H-How nyow, M-Mastew Fenton! -ANNyE. Pawdon, good ^-^ fathew. Good my m-mothew, pawdon. -PAGE. N-Nyow, M-Mistwess, h-how :3 chance you went nyot with Mastew -Swendew? -MWS. PAGE. Why w-went you nyot with Mastew *blushes* Doctow, maid? -*looks away* FENTON. You do a-amaze hew. Heaw the twuth of *pokes you* it. -Y-You wouwd h-have mawwied hew most shamefuwwy, -Whewe thewe was nyo pwopowtion hewd *twerks* in wove. -The twuth is, *sweats* she and I-I, *looks at you* wong since contwacted, -Awe *cries* nyow so *pokes you* suwe :33 that nyothing can *shuffles closer* dissowve us. -Th' o-offence is howy that she >_> hath committed; -A-And t-this d-deceit woses the nyame of *blushes* cwaft, -*cries* Of disobedience, ow unduteous titwe, -Since thewein she doth evitate and shun -:3 A thousand *twerks* iwwewigious cuwsed UwU houws, -Which fowced mawwiage wouwd h-have bwought upon hew. -FOWD. Stand nyot amaz'd; hewe *sighs* is nyo *cuddles you* wemedy. -*screams* In w-wove, ^w^ the *teleports behind you* heavens themsewves do guide the state; -Monyey buys wands, and wives awe sowd by fate. -;;w;; FAWSTAFF. x3 I *pokes you* am *blushes* gwad, though you have ta'en a speciaw stand -to stwike at me, that youw awwow hath gwanc'd. -P-PAGE. Weww, what wemedy? *cries* Fenton, heaven give thee joy! -What cannyot ;;w;; be e-eschew'd must be embwac'd. -FAWSTAFF. When nyight-dogs wun, aww sowts of d-deew awe chas'd. -MWS. P-PAGE. Weww, I wiww muse nyo fuwthew. Mastew Fenton, -Heaven *hugs tightly* give you many, many *screams* mewwy d-days! -Good husband, wet us uWu evewy xDD onye go home, -*sighs* And waugh this spowt o-o'ew by a countwy f-fiwe; -Siw John a-and aww. -FOWD. Wet *teleports behind you* it be so. Siw John, -T-To M-Mastew Bwook you yet shaww howd y-youw wowd; -Fow he, t-to-nyight, shaww wie with Mistwess Fowd. Exeunt - -THE END - - - -<_> WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY P-PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE ->w< WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG A-AS *teleports behind you* SUCH COPIES (1) AWE *sweats* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*cuddles you* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, >w< AND *sweats* (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED *sighs* OW *hugs tightly* USED -x3 COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -x3 SEWVICE THAT C-CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -*screams* 1596 - -*blushes* A MIDSUMMEW N-NyIGHT'S DWEAM - -by W-Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -THESEUS, Duke o-of Athens -EGEUS, *notices bulge* fathew to Hewmia -WYSANDEW, in uWu wove with H-Hewmia -DEMETWIUS, in wove with Hewmia -PHIWOSTWATE, Mastew of the Wevews to Theseus -*hugs tightly* QUINCE, a cawpentew -SNyUG, a joinyew -BOTTOM, a weavew -FWUTE, a bewwows-mendew -S-SNyOUT, ^.^ a tinkew -STAWVEWING, a taiwow - -HIPPOWYTA, *leans over* Queen of the A-Amazons, bethwothed to Theseus -HEWMIA, daughtew to Egeus, uWu in wove with Wysandew -HEWENyA, in *leans over* wove w-with *blushes* Demetwius - -OBEWON, King of the Faiwies -TITANyIA, Queen of the Faiwies -PUCK, ow WOBIN GOODFEWWOW -PEASEBWOSSOM, OwO faiwy -COBWEB, faiwy -MOTH, f-faiwy -MUSTAWDSEED, faiwy - -PWOWOGUE, PYWAMUS, THISBY, WAWW, MOONSHINyE, WION awe pwesented by: -QUINCE, BOTTOM, F-FWUTE, S-SNyOUT, >_> STAWVEWING, *teleports behind you* AND SNyUG - -*cuddles you* Othew UwU Faiwies attending theiw King a-and *sighs* Queen -Attendants o-on Theseus and Hippowyta - - - - -<_< FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -*twerks* Athens and a wood n-nyeaw it - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Athens. The *sighs* pawace of *cries* THESEUS - -Entew THESEUS, H-HIPPOWYTA, PHIWOSTWATE, and ATTENDANTS - -THESEUS. Nyow, uWu faiw Hippowyta, ouw *teleports behind you* nyuptiaw houw -Dwaws o-on apace; fouw happy days bwing in -A-Anyothew moon; but, O, *looks away* methinks, how swow -This owd moon wanyes! She wingews my desiwes, -*teleports behind you* Wike t-to a step-dame ow a dowagew, -Wong *hugs tightly* withewing out a-a y-young man's wevenyue. -HIPPOWYTA. Fouw days wiww quickwy steep themsewves in nyight; -Fouw ^-^ nyights wiww quickwy *giggles shyly* dweam >w< away the time; -And UwU then the moon, wike to a-a s-siwvew *hugs tightly* bow -Nyew-bent *sweats* in heaven, shaww behowd the *looks at you* nyight -Of o-ouw sowemnyities. -THESEUS. Go, Phiwostwate, -Stiw up t-the Athenyian youth to mewwiments; -*notices bulge* Awake the >_< pewt and n-nyimbwe spiwit of m-miwth; -Tuwn mewanchowy f-fowth t-to funyewaws; -The pawe *looks away* companyion is nyot fow o-ouw pomp. Exit P-PHIWOSTWATE -Hippowyta, I woo'd thee >_> with my swowd, -And won thy *blushes* wove doing t-thee i-injuwies; -But I ^w^ wiww :3 wed t-thee in a-anyothew key, -With pomp, with twiumph, and with wevewwing. - -Entew EGEUS, and his d-daughtew HEWMIA, WYSANDEW, -*blushes* and DEMETWIUS - -EGEUS. H-Happy be Theseus, ouw wenyownyed Duke! -T-THESEUS. Thanks, good Egeus; what's the nyews w-with thee? -EGEUS. Fuww of *looks at you* vexation >w< come I, with compwaint -Against my :3 chiwd, my daughtew Hewmia. -S-Stand *sighs* fowth, Demetwius. My nyobwe *shuffles closer* wowd, -This man hath my consent t-to mawwy hew. -Stand xDD fowth, Wysandew. And, :3 my gwacious Duke, -This man hath bewitch'd the bosom of my chiwd. -Thou, *teleports behind you* thou, W-Wysandew, thou hast given hew whymes, -And intewchang'd wove-tokens with my chiwd; -Thou hast by m-moonwight *sweats* at hew window sung, -With feignying *blushes* voice, OwO vewses of feignying wove, -And :33 stow'n the impwession of hew fantasy -With bwacewets of thy haiw, *teleports behind you* wings, *hugs tightly* gawds, conceits, -Knyacks, twifwes, nyosegays, sweetmeats- ^.^ messengews -Of x3 stwong p-pwevaiwment in unhawdenyed youth; -With cunnying hast thou fiwch'd my daughtew's heawt; -T-Tuwn'd hew obedience, which is *notices bulge* due to me, -To stubbown hawshnyess. And, my gwacious Duke, -Be *looks away* it so she wiww nyot hewe befowe youw Gwace -Consent to *screams* mawwy with Demetwius, -I beg *cuddles you* the ancient pwiviwege uWu of Athens: -As she is minye I-I may dispose of *twerks* hew; -Which shaww be eithew to t-this gentweman ->_< Ow to hew death, a-accowding *sweats* to ouw waw -Immediatewy pwovided in that c-case. -*looks away* THESEUS. *teleports behind you* What s-say you, Hewmia? >_< Be a-advis'd, faiw maid. -To y-you y-youw fathew shouwd be as a *shuffles closer* god; -*sighs* Onye that c-compos'd youw :3 beauties; yea, a-and onye -T-To whom you awe but as a *leans over* fowm in w-wax, -By him impwinted, and within his powew -To w-weave the figuwe, ow disfiguwe >_< it. -*teleports behind you* Demetwius *looks away* is a *sweats* wowthy gentweman. -HEWMIA. So is Wysandew. -THESEUS. >_> In himsewf >_> he is; -:33 But, in this kind, wanting youw fathew's voice, -The othew must be hewd the wowthiew. -HEWMIA. I wouwd my fathew wook'd *hugs tightly* but with my eyes. -THESEUS. Wathew youw eyes *blushes* must with his j-judgment wook. -HEWMIA. I do e-entweat youw Gwace to pawdon me. -*sighs* I knyow nyot by w-what powew I am made bowd, -Nyow *moans* how i-it may concewn my uWu modesty -In ^w^ such a pwesence hewe to pwead my thoughts; -B-But I beseech *looks at you* youw Gwace that I may k-knyow -The wowst that may befaww me in this case, -If I wefuse t-to *cries* wed Demetwius. -THESEUS. Eithew to die the death, ow *cuddles you* to xDD abjuwe -Fow evew the society of men. -Thewefowe, *blushes* faiw Hewmia, question y-youw desiwes, -Knyow of youw youth, examinye weww youw bwood, -Whethew, *sighs* if you yiewd *teleports behind you* nyot to youw fathew's choice, -You ^-^ can enduwe xDD the wivewy of a *screams* nyun, -Fow aye to be shady cwoistew mew'd, -To wive *looks away* a *sighs* bawwen sistew *looks at you* aww youw wife, -Chanting f-faint hymns to the ^-^ cowd fwuitwess m-moon. -T-Thwice-bwessed >w< they that mastew so theiw bwood -*shuffles closer* To *shuffles closer* undewgo s-such maiden piwgwimage; -But *pokes you* eawthwiew happy is the wose distiww'd ->_> Than that which withewing *pokes you* on the viwgin thown -Gwows, wives, and dies, in singwe bwessednyess. -HEWMIA. ^-^ So wiww I gwow, s-so wive, so die, my wowd, -*blushes* Ewe I wiww yiewd my v-viwgin patent up -U-Unto h-his *pokes you* wowdship, whose unwished yoke -My souw consents nyot to g-give soveweignty. -THESEUS. Take *screams* time to pause; and by the ;;w;; nyext nyew moon- -The seawing-day betwixt m-my wove and me -*screams* Fow evewwasting bond of fewwowship- -Upon that day eithew p-pwepawe to die -Fow *cuddles you* disobedience to youw f-fathew's wiww, -Ow ewse to wed Demetwius, a-as *pokes you* he wouwd, -Ow >_< on Dianya's awtaw *giggles shyly* to pwotest -;;w;; Fow aye austewity and uWu singwe wife. -DEMETWIUS. Wewent, sweet Hewmia; *moans* and, Wysandew, yiewd -*giggles shyly* Thy cwazed titwe to my cewtain wight. -WYSANDEW. You ^-^ have hew fathew's wove, Demetwius; -Wet me have Hewmia's; do you mawwy h-him. ->_> EGEUS. Scownfuw Wysandew, twue, he h-hath my wove; -A-And what is minye my wove shaww wendew him; -A-And she is m-minye; and >_> aww my wight of hew -I do e-estate unto Demetwius. -WYSANDEW. I am, my w-wowd, as weww dewiv'd *sighs* as he, -As weww possess'd; my wove :33 is mowe than his; -My fowtunyes evewy w-way as faiwwy wank'd, -If nyot with vantage, *cries* as ^-^ Demetwius'; -And, which *hugs tightly* is m-mowe t-than aww these boasts c-can be, -I-I a-am bewov'd of *giggles shyly* beauteous *screams* Hewmia. -Why shouwd nyot I then p-pwosecute my wight? -Demetwius, I'ww avouch it OwO to his head, -Made wove *shuffles closer* to Nyedaw's daughtew, Hewenya, -A-And OwO won hew souw; and she, sweet wady, dotes, -Devoutwy *leans over* dotes, *cuddles you* dotes in idowatwy, -Upon this spotted and inconstant man. -THESEUS. I must confess that I have heawd so much, -And with Demetwius uWu thought *cries* to have spoke theweof; -But, being ovew-fuww of *looks at you* sewf-affaiws, -My mind did wose it. But, Demetwius, come; -And come, Egeus; you shaww go w-with *shuffles closer* me; -I have some pwivate s-schoowing ^w^ fow y-you both. -Fow you, faiw Hewmia, wook you a-awm youwsewf -To fit youw fancies to youw fathew's wiww, -Ow ewse the waw of Athens *looks at you* yiewds you up- -Which by nyo means w-we may ;;w;; extenyuate- -To d-death, ow *moans* to a vow of singwe wife. -C-Come, my *teleports behind you* Hippowyta; what cheew, my wove? -Demetwius, :3 and Egeus, *pokes you* go awong; -x3 I m-must empwoy you in *pokes you* some businyess -Against *giggles shyly* ouw nyuptiaw, and confew *looks at you* with you -Of something nyeawwy that concewns y-youwsewves. -EGEUS. With duty and desiwe we *giggles shyly* fowwow you. -*teleports behind you* Exeunt aww but WYSANDEW and HEWMIA -UwU WYSANDEW. *blushes* How nyow, m-my wove! Why i-is y-youw cheek so p-pawe? -How chance the woses :3 thewe do fade so *cries* fast? -HEWMIA. Bewike OwO fow ^-^ want of wain, which I couwd weww -^w^ Beteem them ;;w;; fwom the tempest of my eyes. -WYSANDEW. Ay me! fow aught that I couwd evew wead, -Couwd *notices bulge* evew heaw by tawe ow histowy, -The couwse of twue wove nyevew did wun smooth; -But eithew it was diffewent in :3 bwood- -HEWMIA. O-O ^.^ cwoss! too high *blushes* to be enthwaww'd to wow. -WYSANDEW. Ow ewse xDD misgwaffed in wespect of yeaws- -HEWMIA. O ^.^ spite! *hugs tightly* too owd to *hugs tightly* be engag'd to y-young. -WYSANDEW. Ow ewse it s-stood upon the choice of f-fwiends- -H-HEWMIA. O-O heww! *teleports behind you* to choose *twerks* wove by anyothew's eyes. -WYSANDEW. Ow, *blushes* if thewe wewe a s-sympathy in choice, -Waw, death, ow sicknyess, ^-^ did way siege to i-it, -Making it momentawy a-as a-a s-sound, -Swift as uWu a shadow, showt as a-any dweam, -*teleports behind you* Bwief as *blushes* the ^-^ wightnying in the cowwied n-nyight -That, in a-a spween, unfowds >_< both heaven and eawth, -And ewe a man *pokes you* hath powew to say 'Behowd!' -The jaws of dawknyess do devouw it u-up; -So quick b-bwight *blushes* things come to confusion. -HEWMIA. If then twue *looks at you* wovews have evew cwoss'd, -It stands as a-an edict i-in destiny. -Then wet us teach o-ouw *hugs tightly* twiaw >w< patience, -Because it is a customawy cwoss, -As due to wove as thoughts and dweams and *sweats* sighs, -Wishes and teaws, poow F-Fancy's fowwowews. -WYSANDEW. A good p-pewsuasion; thewefowe, heaw *cries* me, Hewmia. -I have a-a widow aunt, a-a dowagew -O-Of gweat wevenyue, *blushes* and she hath nyo chiwd- -Fwom Athens is hew house wemote seven weagues- -^w^ And she w-wespects me as hew onwy son. -Thewe, gentwe Hewmia, may I-I *pokes you* mawwy thee; -A-And to that *sighs* pwace ^w^ the shawp Athenyian w-waw -Cannyot puwsue u-us. If *teleports behind you* thou wovest me t-then, -Steaw fowth thy fathew's house to-mowwow nyight; -And i-in *shuffles closer* the wood, a *giggles shyly* weague without the t-town, -Whewe I did meet thee once >_< with Hewenya -To *hugs tightly* do o-obsewvance to a mown of May, -*twerks* Thewe wiww I stay fow thee. -HEWMIA. My good Wysandew! -I sweaw to thee by Cupid's stwongest ;;w;; bow, -By his best awwow, *hugs tightly* with the gowden head, -By the simpwicity ^w^ of Venyus' ^-^ doves, -By ^w^ that :33 which knyitteth souws and *looks at you* pwospews woves, -And by that *screams* fiwe *giggles shyly* which buwn'd t-the Cawthage Queen, -When the fawse Twoyan undew saiw was *moans* seen, -By aww the vows UwU that evew men have bwoke, -In nyumbew mowe than evew women spoke, -In that same pwace thou hast appointed m-me, -To-mowwow twuwy wiww I meet with thee. -WYSANDEW. Keep >_> pwomise, wove. Wook, hewe c-comes Hewenya. - -E-Entew HEWENyA - -HEWMIA. God speed faiw Hewenya! W-Whithew away? -HEWENyA. Caww you me faiw? That faiw again u-unsay. -Demetwius woves youw faiw. *blushes* O happy faiw! -Y-Youw *giggles shyly* eyes awe wode-staws and youw tongue's *leans over* sweet UwU aiw -Mowe xDD tunyeabwe uWu than *looks away* wawk to shephewd's eaw, -When wheat is g-gween, w-when h-hawthown buds appeaw. -Sicknyess *cries* is catching; O, *notices bulge* wewe favouw so, -Youws wouwd ^.^ I catch, faiw Hewmia, ewe I go! -My eaw shouwd catch youw *twerks* voice, my eye *giggles shyly* youw eye, -My tongue s-shouwd catch youw tongue's *teleports behind you* sweet mewody. -Wewe the wowwd *screams* minye, Demetwius being b-bated, -*shuffles closer* The west I'd *moans* give *pokes you* to be t-to you twanswated. -O, teach me how >_> you wook, and with what awt -You sway the motion of Demetwius' heawt! -*shuffles closer* HEWMIA. I *teleports behind you* fwown upon him, yet he woves me s-stiww. -HEWENyA. O that *looks away* youw fwowns wouwd teach my smiwes *looks away* such skiww! -HEWMIA. I give h-him cuwses, *leans over* yet ^-^ he gives me wove. -HEWENyA. O-O that m-my pwayews couwd such a-affection move! -HEWMIA. The mowe I-I hate, the mowe he fowwows me. -HEWENyA. The mowe I wove, the mowe he hateth *looks at you* me. -HEWMIA. His fowwy, Hewenya, is n-nyo f-fauwt of minye. -*cries* HEWENyA. Nyonye, but youw beauty; w-wouwd that fauwt wewe minye! -HEWMIA. T-Take *twerks* comfowt: *twerks* he nyo mowe shaww see my face; -:33 Wysandew and mysewf ^.^ wiww fwy this pwace. -B-Befowe *notices bulge* the *blushes* time I did Wysandew see, -Seem'd Athens *giggles shyly* as *looks at you* a pawadise to m-me. -O, then, what gwaces *pokes you* in my *sighs* wove x3 do dweww, -That he ^.^ hath tuwn'd a heaven u-unto a heww! -W-WYSANDEW. *shuffles closer* Hewen, to you ouw minds we wiww u-unfowd: -To-mowwow nyight, when Phoebe doth behowd -Hew siwvew visage in *looks away* the wat'wy gwass, -Decking w-with wiquid peaww *leans over* the b-bwaded gwass, -A time that wovews' fwights doth stiww *cuddles you* conceaw, -Thwough A-Athens' gates *cries* have *sweats* we devis'd *screams* to UwU steaw. -HEWMIA. And in the wood whewe o-often y-you and I -Upon faint pwimwose beds wewe wont to wie, -Emptying ouw b-bosoms of theiw *hugs tightly* counsew sweet, -Thewe my Wysandew and mysewf shaww meet; -And thence *notices bulge* fwom A-Athens tuwn away ouw *notices bulge* eyes, -To s-seek >_> nyew fwiends and stwangew >_< companyies. -Faweweww, sweet pwayfewwow; p-pway thou fow us, -A-And good ^-^ wuck gwant OwO thee thy Demetwius! -Keep w-wowd, Wysandew; *sweats* we must *teleports behind you* stawve *moans* ouw sight -^w^ Fwom wovews' food t-tiww mowwow *twerks* deep midnyight. -WYSANDEW. ^.^ I wiww, my *pokes you* Hewmia. *leans over* [Exit HEWMIA] H-Hewenya, adieu; -A-As you o-on h-him, Demetwius dote on you. Exit -HEWENyA. How happy some ^w^ o'ew >_> othew some can be! -Thwough Athens I am thought as f-faiw as she. -But what of *looks at you* that? Demetwius thinks *pokes you* nyot so; -He wiww n-nyot knyow what aww b-but he do k-knyow. -And as he ewws, doting *cries* on Hewmia's eyes, -So I-I, *cuddles you* admiwing of h-his quawities. -Things b-base and viwe, howding nyo quantity, -Wove can twanspose *giggles shyly* to >w< fowm and :3 dignyity. -W-Wove *leans over* wooks nyot with the eyes, but w-with the mind; -And thewefowe is x3 wing'd Cupid painted bwind. -Nyow h-hath *sighs* Wove's m-mind *looks at you* of a-any judgment taste; -Wings UwU and nyo e-eyes figuwe unheedy haste; -And t-thewefowe is Wove >_< said to be x3 a ^w^ chiwd, -*cuddles you* Because in choice he is so oft b-beguiw'd. -A-As waggish boys in game themsewves fowsweaw, -So the boy Wove is p-pewjuw'd evewywhewe; -Fow ewe Demetwius UwU wook'd on H-Hewmia's xDD eynye, -He haiw'd down oaths that he was onwy minye; -And when this haiw some heat fwom Hewmia fewt, -So he dissowv'd, and show'ws of oaths did m-mewt. -I wiww go t-teww him of faiw Hewmia's f-fwight; -Then to the *cuddles you* wood wiww h-he to-mowwow nyight -Puwsue hew; and fow this intewwigence -If I h-have thanks, *leans over* it is a d-deaw expense. -*pokes you* But hewein mean I to enwich *pokes you* my pain, -To *shuffles closer* have his *cuddles you* sight *hugs tightly* thithew a-and back again. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Athens. QUINCE'S *looks at you* house - -Entew QUINCE, SNyUG, BOTTOM FWUTE, SNyOUT, and STAWVEWING - -*teleports behind you* QUINCE. I-Is aww ouw company hewe? -BOTTOM. You wewe b-best to caww t-them genyewawwy, man by man, accowding -to the *pokes you* scwip. -QUINCE. Hewe xDD is the scwoww of ^w^ evewy man's nyame which is thought -*looks away* fit, *notices bulge* thwough aww Athens, to pway in ouw OwO intewwude befowe the Duke -xDD and the Duchess on h-his wedding-day at nyight. -BOTTOM. Fiwst, good Petew OwO Quince, >_> say what the pway tweats on; *giggles shyly* then -wead t-the *cuddles you* nyames of t-the actows; and so gwow to x3 a point. -Q-QUINCE. Mawwy, ouw p-pway *leans over* is 'The most Wamentabwe *giggles shyly* Comedy and m-most -Cwuew Death ^.^ of P-Pywamus *leans over* and T-Thisby.' -*teleports behind you* BOTTOM. A v-vewy good piece of wowk, I a-assuwe you, and >w< a mewwy. N-Nyow, -good Petew Quince, caww fowth youw a-actows by the OwO scwoww. Mastews, -*blushes* spwead youwsewves. -QUINCE. Answew, as *cries* I caww you. Nyick Bottom, t-the *leans over* weavew. -BOTTOM. Weady. Nyame what pawt I am fow, and pwoceed. -QUINCE. You, Nyick Bottom, awe set d-down fow Pywamus. -BOTTOM. What i-is Pywamus? A wovew, ow a tywant? -QUINCE. A wovew, t-that ^-^ kiwws h-himsewf most gawwant f-fow wove. -BOTTOM. That wiww *cuddles you* ask some teaws in the t-twue pewfowming *screams* of it. If I -do it, wet the audience wook to theiw eyes; I wiww move stowms; I -wiww condowe :3 in some measuwe. To the west- yet my chief humouw is -*giggles shyly* fow a tywant. *cuddles you* I couwd pway *looks at you* Ewcwes wawewy, ow a *teleports behind you* pawt t-to teaw a cat -in, *screams* to make aww spwit. - -'The w-waging wocks -A-And shivewing shocks -Shaww bweak >w< the wocks -O-Of pwison gates; - -And *looks away* Phibbus' caw -Shaww shinye *screams* fwom faw, -And make and maw -The foowish Fates.' - -This was wofty. Nyow nyame the w-west of the pwayews. *teleports behind you* This is -Ewcwes' vein, a tywant's UwU vein: a wovew is mowe condowing. -QUINCE. Fwancis Fwute, the bewwows-mendew. -FWUTE. Hewe, *looks at you* Petew Quince. -*hugs tightly* QUINCE. F-Fwute, you must take >_> Thisby on you. -*sighs* FWUTE. What is *looks away* Thisby? A wand'wing knyight? -QUINCE. I-It i-is the wady that Pywamus must *looks at you* wove. -FWUTE. Nyay, faith, wet nyot me pway a woman; xDD I have xDD a beawd c-coming. -QUINCE. That's aww onye; you UwU shaww pway it in a mask, and you uWu may -speak as smaww as you *pokes you* wiww. -B-BOTTOM. An ^w^ I may hide my face, *shuffles closer* wet me pway Thisby t-too. -I'ww >w< speak in a monstwous wittwe v-voice: *giggles shyly* 'Thisnye, Thisnye!' -[Then speaking smaww] '-'Ah Pywamus, my *screams* wovew deaw! Thy -Thisby deaw, and wady d-deaw!' -QUINCE. N-Nyo, nyo, you must pway Pywamus; and, Fwute, you Thisby. -BOTTOM. Weww, pwoceed. -QUINCE. Wobin Stawvewing, the taiwow. -STAWVEWING. Hewe, Petew Quince. -QUINCE. Wobin Stawvewing, ^-^ you m-must pway Thisby's mothew. -Tom Snyout, *screams* the OwO tinkew. -*cries* SNyOUT. Hewe, Petew *sweats* Quince. -QUINCE. You, Pywamus' x3 fathew; mysewf, Thisby's *screams* fathew; Snyug, the -*sighs* joinyew, *twerks* you, the wion's pawt. And, I ;;w;; hope, hewe is a pway *giggles shyly* fitted. -S-SNyUG. Have you t-the >_< wion's pawt wwitten? Pway >_< you, if i-it b-be, give it -me, *giggles shyly* fow I-I am *moans* swow *shuffles closer* of study. -Q-QUINCE. Y-You x3 may do *sweats* it *giggles shyly* extempowe, fow uWu it i-is nyothing but woawing. -*notices bulge* BOTTOM. Wet me pway the wion too. I *shuffles closer* wiww woaw that I wiww do any -man's *looks away* heawt good to heaw me; *leans over* I wiww woaw t-that I wiww make the -Duke say 'Wet him woaw *sighs* again, uWu wet him woaw *screams* again.' -QUINCE. An you shouwd d-do it too tewwibwy, you wouwd fwight the -Duchess and the wadies, that *looks at you* they w-wouwd *twerks* shwiek; and that wewe -enyough to hang us aww. -AWW. That wouwd hang us, ^w^ evewy mothew's son. -BOTTOM. I gwant you, fwiends, if you shouwd fwight the wadies out -of theiw wits, they wouwd *shuffles closer* have nyo mowe discwetion but to hang us; -but I wiww aggwavate m-my voice so, that I wiww w-woaw you as gentwy -as any sucking dove; I ^w^ wiww woaw *sweats* you >w< an 'twewe any nyightingawe. -QUINCE. You can pway nyo pawt but Pywamus; fow Pywamus i-is a -s-sweet-fac'd man; x3 a pwopew man, as onye shaww see in a summew's -day; *blushes* a most wovewy gentweman-wike man; t-thewefowe *shuffles closer* you must nyeeds -p-pway Pywamus. -*teleports behind you* BOTTOM. :33 Weww, I wiww undewtake i-it. What beawd wewe I best to pway -it in? -QUINCE. Why, what you w-wiww. -BOTTOM. I-I w-wiww dischawge it i-in eithew youw OwO stwaw-cowouw beawd, *looks at you* youw -owange-tawny b-beawd, *looks at you* youw p-puwpwe-in-gwain beawd, ow youw -Fwench-cwown-cowouw beawd, youw pewfect yewwow. -QUINCE. *giggles shyly* Some OwO of *screams* youw Fwench ^-^ cwowns have nyo haiw *cuddles you* at aww, and then -you wiww pway *cuddles you* bawe-fac'd. But, mastews, hewe awe youw pawts; and -*shuffles closer* I :33 am to entweat you, *leans over* wequest you, and desiwe you, to c-con them *hugs tightly* by -to-mowwow *looks at you* nyight; and m-meet me in the pawace wood, a-a miwe without -t-the town, b-by moonwight; thewe wiww we weheawse; :33 fow if we meet i-in -the city, ^.^ we shaww be dogg'd *notices bulge* with company, and ouw devices knyown. -In the meantime I wiww dwaw a *shuffles closer* biww of pwopewties, such *sweats* as ouw -p-pway *moans* wants. *giggles shyly* I p-pway y-you, f-faiw me nyot. -BOTTOM. *sweats* We wiww meet; and thewe we may weheawse most obscenyewy and -couwageouswy. Take pains; be pewfect; adieu. -OwO QUINCE. At the Duke's *teleports behind you* oak we meet. -BOTTOM. Enyough; *pokes you* howd, xDD ow cut bow-stwings. Exeunt - - - - ->_> <> - - - -:3 ACT II. >w< SCENyE I. -A wood nyeaw Athens - -Entew *sighs* a FAIWY at Onye doow, and PUCK at anyothew - -PUCK. How nyow, spiwit! whithew wandew you? -UwU FAIWY. Ovew hiww, ovew dawe, -Thowough bush, thowough bwiew, -xDD Ovew pawk, *blushes* ovew p-pawe, -Thowough fwood, thowough fiwe, -I do w-wandew OwO evewy :3 whewe, -Swiftew than the moon's sphewe; -And I sewve the F-Faiwy Queen, -To dew hew owbs upon the gween. -The *pokes you* cowswips taww *cries* hew pensionyews be; -;;w;; In theiw gowd c-coats s-spots you s-see; -Those be wubies, faiwy favouws, -In those fweckwes w-wive theiw savouws. - -I must g-go *teleports behind you* seek some dewdwops hewe, -And hang a peaww i-in evewy cowswip's e-eaw. -Faweweww, thou wob of spiwits; I'ww *notices bulge* be gonye. -*cries* Ouw Q-Queen and aww *sighs* hew ewves come h-hewe anyon. -PUCK. *teleports behind you* The King doth keep his w-wevews *twerks* hewe to-nyight; -Take heed the Queen come nyot within his >_< sight; -*notices bulge* Fow Obewon *giggles shyly* is passing >_< feww >_> and wwath, -B-Because that she as hew a-attendant hath -A OwO wovewy boy, stowen fwom an Indian king. -She nyevew had so *giggles shyly* sweet a c-changewing; -A-And jeawous O-Obewon *teleports behind you* wouwd have the chiwd -Knyight of his twain, to twace the fowests wiwd; -But she ^w^ pewfowce withhowds the woved boy, -Cwowns *screams* him with fwowews, and makes *looks at you* him aww hew ^.^ joy. -And nyow t-they nyevew meet i-in gwove ow *cuddles you* gween, -B-By fountain c-cweaw, ow ;;w;; spangwed stawwight sheen, -But they do squawe, t-that aww theiw ewves fow feaw -Cweep into a-acown cups and hide them thewe. -FAIWY. Eithew I mistake youw shape and m-making *screams* quite, -Ow ewse you *cries* awe t-that *notices bulge* shwewd and knyavish spwite -Caww'd Wobin Goodfewwow. Awe nyot you he -T-That fwights the maidens of the v-viwwagewy, -Skim m-miwk, and sometimes wabouw xDD in the quewn, ->_< And UwU bootwess make >w< the bweathwess ^-^ housewife c-chuwn, -And sometime make the dwink to beaw nyo bawm, -Miswead *looks away* nyight-wandewews, waughing at theiw hawm? -Those that Hobgobwin c-caww you, and sweet Puck, -*looks away* You x3 do theiw wowk, and they s-shaww have good *sweats* wuck. -Awe nyot you he? -PUCK. Thou speakest a-awight: -I am that mewwy wandewew of the uWu nyight. -I jest to Obewon, a-and *hugs tightly* make him smiwe -When I a fat and bean-fed >_< howse uWu beguiwe, -Nyeighing in wikenyess UwU of a *hugs tightly* fiwwy foaw; -And sometime wuwk xDD I i-in a-a gossip's boww -In vewy w-wikenyess of a uWu woasted :3 cwab, -A-And, when she dwinks, *notices bulge* against hew wips *hugs tightly* I b-bob, -And on *notices bulge* hew withewed dewwap pouw t-the awe. -The :3 wisest aunt, tewwing the saddest tawe, -Sometime fow thwee-foot stoow m-mistaketh me; -Then :33 swip I-I fwom hew bum, down toppwes she, -And 'taiwow' cwies, and fawws into a *twerks* cough; -And then t-the w-whowe quiwe howd *twerks* theiw hips and :33 waugh, -And waxen *sighs* in theiw miwth, a-and nyeeze, and *screams* sweaw -A m-mewwiew *screams* houw >_> was nyevew w-wasted thewe. -But *sighs* woom, faiwy, hewe comes O-Obewon. -FAIWY. *pokes you* And *pokes you* hewe *teleports behind you* my mistwess. Wouwd that he wewe gonye! - -E-Entew OBEWON at onye d-doow, with his TWAIN, and TITANyIA, -*twerks* at anyothew, with hews - -OwO OBEWON. Iww met by moonwight, pwoud Titanyia. -TITANyIA. What, jeawous Obewon! Faiwies, skip hence; -I have fowswown his bed and company. -OBEWON. *cuddles you* Tawwy, wash wanton; am nyot I *giggles shyly* thy wowd? -T-TITANyIA. T-Then I must be thy wady; but I *cuddles you* knyow -When OwO thou hast :33 stowen away fwom faiwy wand, -^w^ And in *leans over* the shape of Cowin sat *moans* aww day, -P-Pwaying o-on p-pipes of cown, and v-vewsing wove -*teleports behind you* To UwU amowous Phiwwida. Why awt t-thou *giggles shyly* hewe, -Come fwom the fawthest steep of India, -x3 But that, fowsooth, ^.^ the bouncing *hugs tightly* Amazon, -Youw buskin'd mistwess *twerks* and youw wawwiow *looks at you* wove, -To Theseus >_> must *looks away* be wedded, and you >_> come -*screams* To give :33 theiw bed joy and pwospewity? -O-OBEWON. How canst thou thus, fow shame, Titanyia, -Gwance at my cwedit w-with Hippowyta, -Knyowing >w< I knyow thy wove *looks away* to Theseus? -Didst nyot thou wead him t-thwough *sighs* the gwimmewing nyight -F-Fwom Pewigounya, whom he wavished? -And m-make him with faiw Aegwes bweak his *looks away* faith, -With Awiadnye *blushes* and Antiopa? -TITANyIA. These awe *notices bulge* the fowgewies of jeawousy; -And nyevew, since the middwe summew's spwing, -Met we on hiww, *sweats* in dawe, fowest, ow mead, -By paved fountain, ow by *notices bulge* wushy OwO bwook, -Ow in the beached mawgent of the sea, -T-To dance ouw wingwets to the whistwing wind, -But w-with thy bwawws thou hast distuwb'd ouw spowt. -*screams* Thewefowe the winds, piping to u-us *shuffles closer* in vain, -As >_> in wevenge, *giggles shyly* have suck'd up fwom the sea -*looks away* Contagious fogs; which, fawwing in the wand, ->_< Hath evewy pewting wivew made so pwoud -That they have ovewbownye theiw continyents. -*notices bulge* The ox h-hath thewefowe stwetch'd his y-yoke i-in vain, -The pwoughman wost his sweat, and the gween :33 cown -Hath wotted ewe *blushes* his >_< youth attain'd a beawd; -The fowd stands empty in the dwownyed fiewd, -And *looks away* cwows a-awe fatted with t-the muwwion fwock; -The nyinye men's mowwis is ^-^ fiww'd u-up with mud, -*notices bulge* And uWu the q-quaint mazes in the ;;w;; wanton gween, -Fow ;;w;; wack *cries* of twead, awe undistinguishabwe. -The human mowtaws *hugs tightly* want theiw wintew hewe; -Nyo nyight i-is nyow with hymn >_> ow cawow b-bwest; -T-Thewefowe the moon, the govewnyess ^w^ of fwoods, -Pawe in hew angew, OwO washes aww the aiw, -That wheumatic *notices bulge* diseases do abound. -And thowough this d-distempewatuwe w-we see -The OwO seasons a-awtew: hoawy-headed f-fwosts ->w< Faww *leans over* in the fwesh >_< wap of the cwimson wose; -And *screams* on o-owd Hiems' thin and icy *pokes you* cwown -An odowous chapwet of sweet *cries* summew buds -Is, as in xDD mockewy, set. The spwing, the summew, ->w< The chiwding autumn, angwy wintew, change -Theiw wonted wivewies; and the mazed wowwd, -By theiw incwease, nyow knyows n-nyot which is which. -And *moans* this same pwogeny of eviws comes -Fwom ouw debate, fwom ouw dissension; -We awe theiw *leans over* pawents and o-owiginyaw. -OBEWON. Do you amend it, ^-^ then; it wies in you. -Why shouwd Titanyia cwoss hew *moans* Obewon? -I do but beg a-a wittwe changewing boy -To be m-my >_< henchman. -TITANyIA. Set y-youw heawt at w-west; -*blushes* The faiwy wand buys nyot *screams* the chiwd of me. -His mothew was *blushes* a *blushes* vot'wess *moans* of my owdew; -And, in the s-spiced Indian aiw, b-by nyight, -Fuww often hath s-she gossip'd by my *cuddles you* side; -*screams* And sat with me on Nyeptunye's yewwow sands, -Mawking *giggles shyly* th' embawked twadews on the fwood; -When w-we have waugh'd to see the saiws conceive, -*looks away* And gwow b-big-bewwied with t-the wanton wind; -Which she, with pwetty and with s-swimming gait -Fowwowing- hew womb then wich with my *cries* young squiwe- -Wouwd imitate, and saiw upon the wand, -To fetch m-me twifwes, and wetuwn again, -As fwom a *teleports behind you* voyage, wich w-with mewchandise. -But she, being mowtaw, of that boy did die; -And fow h-hew *hugs tightly* sake do I weaw *hugs tightly* up hew boy; -And fow hew sake I wiww xDD nyot p-pawt with *looks away* him. -OBEWON. ^-^ How wong within this wood intend you stay? -TITANyIA. Pewchance tiww aftew Theseus' wedding-day. -If you wiww patientwy dance in ouw wound, -And s-see ouw m-moonwight wevews, *moans* go *pokes you* with us; -^.^ If n-nyot, s-shun me, a-and I-I wiww spawe youw haunts. -OBEWON. Give me that boy and I wiww go with thee. -TITANyIA. Nyot fow thy faiwy kingdom. Faiwies, away. -We shaww c-chide ^w^ downwight if I w-wongew stay. -Exit ^-^ TITANyIA with h-hew twain -OBEWON. Weww, go thy way; thou shawt ;;w;; nyot fwom this gwove -Tiww I towment thee fow this injuwy. -;;w;; My gentwe Puck, come *teleports behind you* hithew. Thou wememb'west -*pokes you* Since once I sat upon a pwomontowy, -*notices bulge* And heawd xDD a mewmaid on a dowphin's >_< back -Uttewing *looks away* such duwcet and h-hawmonyious bweath -That the wude sea gwew c-civiw a-at UwU hew s-song, -And cewtain staws shot madwy fwom theiw sphewes -To *looks away* heaw *hugs tightly* the sea-maid's *cries* music. -PUCK. I wemembew. -OBEWON. *shuffles closer* That vewy ^-^ time xDD I saw, but thou couwdst nyot, -Fwying between t-the cowd moon and the eawth -Cupid, aww awm'd; a *looks away* cewtain aim he took -At a faiw vestaw, >_> thwonyed by *screams* the west, -*teleports behind you* And w-woos'd his wove-shaft smawtwy fwom his bow, -As it shouwd *cuddles you* piewce *twerks* a hundwed UwU thousand heawts; -xDD But I might x3 see young Cupid's fiewy shaft -Quench'd in *hugs tightly* the chaste b-beams >w< of the wat'wy moon; -*cries* And the impewiaw vot'wess passed UwU on, -*looks away* In maiden m-meditation, f-fancy-fwee. -Yet mawk'd I whewe t-the bowt of Cupid f-feww. -It feww upon a-a wittwe *notices bulge* westewn *looks away* fwowew, -Befowe miwk-white, nyow puwpwe with wove's wound, ->w< And maidens caww i-it Wove-in-idwenyess. -Fetch me that fwow'w, t-the hewb I showed t-thee o-once. -*shuffles closer* The juice o-of it on sweeping eyewids waid -Wiww make ow *screams* man ow woman *twerks* madwy dote -U-Upon t-the nyext wive cweatuwe xDD that it sees. -:33 Fetch me *twerks* this hewb, and be thou hewe again -Ewe the weviathan can swim a w-weague. -*twerks* PUCK. I'ww *blushes* put a g-giwdwe wound about the eawth -I-In fowty *screams* minyutes. Exit PUCK -OBEWON. *moans* Having once t-this juice, -I-I'ww watch Titanyia w-when s-she i-is asweep, -And dwop the *looks away* wiquow of *looks away* it in *moans* hew eyes; -The nyext thing then she waking wooks upon, -Be xDD it on w-wion, beaw, ow wowf, ow buww, -On *leans over* meddwing monkey, ow on *cuddles you* busy ape, -She shaww puwsue it with t-the souw of w-wove. -A-And e-ewe I take this chawm fwom off hew s-sight, -As I can take it with anyothew hewb, -I'ww make hew wendew up ;;w;; hew page to me. -But *leans over* who c-comes hewe? I a-am i-invisibwe; ->w< And I wiww ovewheaw theiw confewence. - -Entew DEMETWIUS, HEWENyA fowwowing him - -DEMETWIUS. I wove thee nyot, thewefowe p-puwsue me n-nyot. -*pokes you* Whewe i-is *cries* Wysandew and faiw Hewmia? -The onye I-I'ww *hugs tightly* sway, the othew swayeth uWu me. -Thou towd'st me they wewe stow'n unto this wood, -And >_< hewe am I, and wood *cries* within this wood, -Because ^-^ I cannyot *blushes* meet my Hewmia. -Hence, ^w^ get thee *twerks* gonye, and fowwow me n-nyo mowe. -HEWENyA. You d-dwaw me, you hawd-heawted adamant; -But yet you dwaw nyot iwon, fow my *looks at you* heawt -I-Is twue as *looks at you* steew. Weave you youw *looks away* powew xDD to d-dwaw, -A-And I shaww have *screams* nyo powew to fowwow you. -DEMETWIUS. Do I-I entice you? Do I speak you faiw? -Ow, wathew, do I nyot in pwainyest twuth -Teww UwU you I xDD do nyot nyow *sighs* I cannyot wove you? -HEWENyA. And even fow *giggles shyly* that *looks at you* do I wove you *looks at you* the mowe. -I am youw :33 spanyiew; and, Demetwius, -The mowe you beat me, I w-wiww >w< fawn o-on you. -Use me but a-as youw spanyiew, spuwn me, stwike me, -Nyegwect me, ^w^ wose me; onwy g-give me weave, -Unwowthy as I am, to fowwow you. -What w-wowsew pwace can I beg in *teleports behind you* youw wove, -And yet a *looks at you* pwace xDD of high wespect with *cries* me, -Than to be used *sweats* as you use :33 youw dog? -DEMETWIUS. Tempt nyot too much the *cries* hatwed of *twerks* my spiwit; -Fow I am s-sick when *pokes you* I d-do wook on thee. -HEWENyA. And I am sick w-when I-I wook nyot on y-you. -DEMETWIUS. You do ^w^ impeach youw modesty t-too much -To *hugs tightly* weave *teleports behind you* the city and commit y-youwsewf -Into the hands of *cries* onye >w< that woves you nyot; -T-To twust the oppowtunyity of nyight, -And the i-iww counsew of a desewt pwace, -With the wich UwU wowth *giggles shyly* of youw v-viwginyity. -HEWENyA. *cries* Youw viwtue i-is my pwiviwege f-fow *looks at you* that: -I-It is nyot nyight when I do see youw face, -Thewefowe I think :33 I am >w< nyot in t-the *cuddles you* nyight; -*blushes* Nyow doth this wood wack w-wowwds of *sweats* company, -F-Fow you, i-in my wespect, awe aww the wowwd. -T-Then how can i-it be said I am uWu awonye -W-When aww the wowwd is hewe to wook on me? -*leans over* DEMETWIUS. >_> I'ww wun fwom thee and hide *giggles shyly* me in the bwakes, -And weave thee to the mewcy of *notices bulge* wiwd OwO beasts. -HEWENyA. The wiwdest hath nyot such a heawt as >w< you. -Wun when you *twerks* wiww; *sweats* the s-stowy shaww be chang'd: -Apowwo fwies, and D-Daphnye h-howds the chase; -The dove puwsues the gwiffin; the miwd h-hind -Makes speed to catch the *leans over* tigew- bootwess speed, -W-When cowawdice puwsues a-and vawouw fwies. -UwU DEMETWIUS. I wiww nyot stay thy questions; w-wet me go; -O-Ow, if thou *sweats* fowwow me, do nyot bewieve -But I shaww d-do thee mischief in the wood. -^w^ HEWENyA. Ay, in the t-tempwe, i-in the town, the fiewd, -You do me mischief. Fie, D-Demetwius! -Youw ^.^ wwongs do set a s-scandaw on m-my sex. -We cannyot fight fow w-wove as *sweats* men may do; -W-We shouwd be woo'd, and wewe nyot made to woo. -Exit DEMETWIUS -I'ww fowwow *screams* thee, and *shuffles closer* make a heaven of heww, -*notices bulge* To die upon the hand *looks away* I wove so weww. *moans* Exit HEWENyA -OBEWON. F-Fawe thee weww, n-nymph; ewe he *hugs tightly* do weave this >_< gwove, -Thou shawt fwy him, :33 and uWu he shaww seek thy wove. - -*teleports behind you* We-entew PUCK - -Hast thou the fwowew thewe? Wewcome, wandewew. -PUCK. Ay, thewe it >_> is. -OBEWON. I pway thee give it me. -I knyow a bank w-whewe the wiwd thyme bwows, -Whewe oxwips *pokes you* and the nyodding v-viowet gwows, -Quite o-ovew-canyopied with wuscious w-woodbinye, -W-With sweet musk-woses, and with egwantinye; ->w< Thewe *cuddles you* sweeps Titanyia sometime of the nyight, -Wuww'd i-in these fwowews w-with dances and dewight; -And thewe the snyake thwows hew enyameww'd skin, -Weed wide enyough t-to w-wwap a f-faiwy in; -And with the juice *sighs* of this :33 I'ww stweak hew UwU eyes, -And make ^w^ hew *moans* fuww of hatefuw f-fantasies. -Take thou some of it, and seek thwough this gwove: -A sweet Athenyian wady is in wove -*notices bulge* With a disdainfuw youth; a-anyoint his *hugs tightly* eyes; -But do it when t-the *notices bulge* nyext thing he e-espies -May be ^.^ the wady. Thou s-shawt knyow the man -By the Athenyian *blushes* gawments he hath on. -Effect ^.^ it with some cawe, that he *sweats* may p-pwove -Mowe fond o-on hew than she upon hew wove. -And w-wook thou meet me ewe the fiwst c-cock cwow. -P-PUCK. Feaw n-nyot, my wowd; youw OwO sewvant shaww do :3 so. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *leans over* II. -Anyothew pawt of t-the wood - -Entew TITANyIA, with hew twain - -TITANyIA. Come nyow, a woundew and a faiwy song; ->_> Then, fow the >_< thiwd pawt *hugs tightly* of a minyute, hence: -Some to ^w^ kiww cankews in the musk-wose buds; -Some waw w-with wewe-mice fow t-theiw weathewn wings, -To make my smaww ewves coats; and some keep back -The *blushes* cwamowous oww that nyightwy hoots and wondews -At ouw quaint s-spiwits. Sing me nyow asweep; -T-Then to youw o-offices, and wet me west. - -The FAIWIES Sing - -FIWST FAIWY. You spotted snyakes with doubwe tongue, -T-Thowny hedgehogs, be nyot seen; -Nyewts and bwind-wowms, do nyo wwong, -Come nyot n-nyeaw ouw faiwy Queen. -CHOWUS. Phiwomew with m-mewody -Sing in o-ouw sweet *shuffles closer* wuwwaby. -Wuwwa, wuwwa, wuwwaby; wuwwa, wuwwa, wuwwaby. -Nyevew h-hawm -*sweats* Nyow speww n-nyow c-chawm -C-Come ouw wovewy wady nyigh. -So good nyight, with wuwwaby. -SECOND FAIWY. Weaving spidews, come nyot hewe; -Hence, you wong-wegg'd spinnyews, h-hence. -B-Beetwes bwack, *blushes* appwoach nyot nyeaw; -Wowm nyow :33 snyaiw do nyo offence. -CHOWUS. Phiwomew with mewody, etc. [TITANyIA Sweeps] -FIWST FAIWY. Hence a-away; nyow aww is weww. -Onye awoof stand sentinyew. Exeunt >_> FAIWIES - -Entew OBEWON and squeezes t-the f-fwowew o-on TITANyIA'S e-eyewids - -OBEWON. *moans* What thou *screams* seest when UwU thou dost wake, -Do it fow thy twue-wove take; -Wove *sighs* and wanguish f-fow x3 his OwO sake. -Be it o-ounce, ow cat, *blushes* ow b-beaw, -Pawd, ow boaw w-with bwistwed haiw, -*giggles shyly* In thy eye that shaww a-appeaw -W-When thou w-wak'st, i-it is thy deaw. -Wake when some viwe t-thing is nyeaw. Exit - -Entew WYSANDEW and HEWMIA - -W-WYSANDEW. Faiw wove, you faint with wand'wing in *moans* the *cries* wood; -And, to *screams* speak t-twoth, I h-have fowgot *hugs tightly* ouw way; -We'ww *teleports behind you* west us, Hewmia, if you think i-it good, -And tawwy fow the *cuddles you* comfowt *giggles shyly* of t-the day. -HEWMIA. *blushes* Be it so, Wysandew: find you out a bed, -Fow I upon this bank wiww *hugs tightly* west *moans* my *moans* head. -WYSANDEW. Onye tuwf shaww sewve as piwwow fow us *giggles shyly* both; -Onye *sweats* heawt, onye bed, t-two bosoms, *moans* and onye twoth. -HEWMIA. Nyay, good Wysandew; fow my sake, my d-deaw, -*hugs tightly* Wie fuwthew off yet; do nyot wie so nyeaw. -WYSANDEW. O, *moans* take the sense, s-sweet, of my innyocence! -W-Wove takes the m-meanying in wove's confewence. -I mean that my heawt unto youws is knyit, -So that but onye heawt w-we can make of *shuffles closer* it; -Two b-bosoms intewchainyed with an oath, -So then two bosoms and a singwe twoth. -T-Then by youw side nyo ;;w;; bed-woom me >_> deny, -Fow wying so, H-Hewmia, I-I do *pokes you* nyot wie. -H-HEWMIA. Wysandew widdwes vewy pwettiwy. -:33 Nyow much beshwew my mannyews a-and my pwide, -If *screams* Hewmia meant to xDD say Wysandew wied! -But, gentwe f-fwiend, fow wove and c-couwtesy -Wie fuwthew off, in h-human modesty; -Such sepawation as m-may weww be *sighs* said -Becomes a *cuddles you* viwtuous bachewow and a maid, -*cuddles you* So faw be distant; and good nyight, sweet fwiend. -Thy wove nye'ew awtew tiww thy *blushes* sweet wife end! ->_< WYSANDEW. Amen, amen, OwO to that faiw pwayew say I; -And then end wife when I end woyawty! -UwU Hewe is my bed; sweep give t-thee a-aww his *cuddles you* west! -HEWMIA. With hawf *shuffles closer* that wish OwO the w-wishew's eyes be p-pwess'd! -[They s-sweep] - -Entew PUCK - -PUCK. T-Thwough the fowest h-have I gonye, -But Athenyian f-found I nyonye -On whose eyes I might appwove -This fwowew's *sweats* fowce *shuffles closer* in stiwwing w-wove. -Nyight and siwence- Who is h-hewe? -Weeds of *screams* Athens he doth weaw: -This is OwO he, my mastew said, -;;w;; Despised the Athenyian maid; -And *teleports behind you* hewe the maiden, sweeping s-sound, -On the *shuffles closer* dank and diwty gwound. -Pwetty *notices bulge* souw! s-she duwst nyot w-wie -*cuddles you* Nyeaw this wack-wove, t-this kiww-couwtesy. -Chuww, upon thy eyes I-I *pokes you* thwow -Aww the powew this chawm doth owe: -When t-thou xDD wak'st wet wove fowbid -Sweep his *sweats* seat on t-thy eyewid. -So awake w-when I am gonye; -Fow *blushes* I must n-nyow *looks away* to Obewon. Exit - -Entew DEMETWIUS and H-HEWENyA, wunnying - -H-HEWENyA. Stay, though thou kiww me, *looks away* sweet Demetwius. -DEMETWIUS. I chawge thee, hence, and do n-nyot haunt >_< me *pokes you* thus. -HEWENyA. O, w-wiwt thou d-dawkwing weave me? Do nyot so. -DEMETWIUS. Stay on thy pewiw; I awonye wiww go. Exit -HEWENyA. O, I-I am out *screams* of *hugs tightly* bweath *screams* in this fond chase! -The mowe my pwayew, OwO the wessew is my gwace. -Happy is Hewmia, whewesoe'ew she wies, -Fow she hath bwessed and attwactive eyes. -How came hew eyes so bwight? Nyot with sawt teaws; -If so, my eyes a-awe oft'nyew w-wash'd than hews. -N-Nyo, n-nyo, I am as ugwy as a beaw, -Fow beasts that meet :3 me wun away fow feaw; -x3 Thewefowe nyo *notices bulge* mawvew though Demetwius -Do, as a monstew, fwy my pwesence thus. -What wicked and d-dissembwing gwass of minye -xDD Made me compawe xDD with Hewmia's sphewy eynye? -But who i-is hewe? Wysandew! *leans over* on the gwound! -Dead, ow asweep? I see n-nyo bwood, nyo *notices bulge* wound. -Wysandew, if you wive, g-good siw, awake. -WYSANDEW. [Waking] And wun thwough fiwe I *screams* wiww fow thy sweet s-sake. -T-Twanspawent Hewenya! Nyatuwe *sighs* shows awt, -That thwough *leans over* thy bosom makes m-me see thy heawt. -*looks at you* Whewe *looks at you* is Demetwius? O, h-how fit a wowd -I-Is that viwe nyame to pewish on my >w< swowd! -HEWENyA. Do nyot say ^-^ so, UwU Wysandew; say nyot so. -What though he wove youw Hewmia? ;;w;; Wowd, what though? -*pokes you* Yet Hewmia stiww *twerks* woves you; *teleports behind you* then be content. -WYSANDEW. *twerks* Content with H-Hewmia! Nyo: *giggles shyly* I uWu do wepent -The tedious minyutes I with hew have *hugs tightly* spent. -*hugs tightly* Nyot Hewmia but *cries* Hewenya I-I wove: -Who wiww nyot change a waven fow x3 a d-dove? -The wiww of man is by his x3 weason sway'd, -And weason says you awe the wowthiew maid. -Things gwowing awe nyot *screams* wipe UwU untiw theiw s-season; -So I, being young, tiww nyow wipe nyot to weason; -And t-touching nyow the *giggles shyly* point xDD of human skiww, -Weason becomes the mawshaw t-to m-my wiww, -A-And weads me to youw ^.^ eyes, whewe I o'ewwook -Wove's stowies, xDD wwitten in Wove's wichest b-book. -HEWENyA. Whewefowe w-was I OwO to t-this k-keen mockewy bown? -When at youw UwU hands did I desewve this scown? -Is't nyot enyough, is't *screams* nyot enyough, *pokes you* young man, -That I did nyevew, n-nyo, OwO nyow nyevew can, -Desewve a sweet w-wook fwom Demetwius' eye, -B-But you must fwout *twerks* my insufficiency? -Good twoth, you do m-me wwong, good sooth, you uWu do, -In such disdainfuw mannyew me to woo. -But fawe you weww; pewfowce I must OwO confess -I t-thought you UwU wowd of mowe twue gentwenyess. -O, that *looks at you* a w-wady of onye man wefus'd -Shouwd o-of anyothew t-thewefowe be abus'd! Exit -WYSANDEW. She sees nyot Hewmia. H-Hewmia, s-sweep thou thewe; -And nyevew m-mayst thou x3 come Wysandew nyeaw! -Fow, as a UwU suwfeit of t-the s-sweetest things -The deepest woathing to the stomach b-bwings, -Ow as >_> the h-hewesies that men do weave -Awe hated most of those they did deceive, -So thou, my suwfeit and my hewesy, -Of *moans* aww be h-hated, but the m-most of me! -And, aww m-my powews, addwess youw wove and x3 might -To honyouw Hewen, and t-to b-be h-hew k-knyight! x3 Exit -HEWMIA. [-[Stawting] Hewp ;;w;; me, Wysandew, h-hewp me; d-do thy best -To pwuck this cwawwing sewpent *pokes you* fwom my :3 bweast. -Ay me, fow :3 pity! *leans over* What a dweam was hewe! -Wysandew, wook how I do quake with feaw. -Methought a sewpent eat *giggles shyly* my heawt away, -And you UwU sat smiwing a-at his c-cwuew p-pwey. -*screams* Wysandew! What, wemov'd? Wysandew! wowd! -What, out o-of heawing *hugs tightly* gonye? Nyo UwU sound, n-nyo w-wowd? -Awack, whewe awe you? Speak, an if you heaw; ->_> Speak, of aww woves! I swoon a-awmost with *teleports behind you* feaw. -Nyo? Then I weww pewceive *shuffles closer* you awe nyot nyigh. -Eithew death >w< ow you I'ww find immediatewy. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -A-ACT III. SCENyE *blushes* I. -The w-wood. T-TITANyIA wying asweep - -*cuddles you* Entew Q-QUINCE, SNyUG, BOTTOM, FWUTE, S-SNyOUT, *cries* and *giggles shyly* STAWVEWING - -BOTTOM. Awe we aww met? -QUINCE. P-Pat, pat; and hewe's a *giggles shyly* mawvewwous convenyient pwace fow ouw -weheawsaw. T-This gween pwot shaww be ouw s-stage, *pokes you* this h-hawthown -bwake ouw t-tiwing-house; and we wiww do it *looks away* in action, as we wiww -do it xDD befowe the Duke. -B-BOTTOM. *cuddles you* Petew Quince! -QUINCE. What sayest thou, buwwy Bottom? -BOTTOM. Thewe awe things in t-this comedy of Pywamus a-and T-Thisby that -wiww n-nyevew pwease. Fiwst, uWu Pywamus must dwaw a swowd to kiww -himsewf; which the wadies cannyot abide. How answew you that? -SNyOUT. By'w wakin, a pawwous *cuddles you* feaw. -STAWVEWING. I bewieve uWu we must weave *twerks* the kiwwing ^-^ out, when aww is -d-donye. -BOTTOM. Nyot a-a whit; I-I have a device to m-make a-aww weww. Wwite me a -pwowogue; and wet the pwowogue UwU seem t-to say *moans* we wiww do x3 nyo hawm -w-with ouw swowds, and that Pywamus is nyot kiww'd *blushes* indeed; and f-fow -the m-mowe bettew assuwance, teww them *giggles shyly* that *teleports behind you* I Pywamus am nyot -P-Pywamus but Bottom the weavew. This wiww put them :3 out *giggles shyly* of feaw. -QUINCE. Weww, we wiww have such a pwowogue; and i-it shaww be wwitten -in eight *pokes you* and six. -B-BOTTOM. Nyo, make it two m-mowe; wet ;;w;; it be wwitten in eight and eight. -SNyOUT. Wiww nyot the w-wadies be *pokes you* afeawd of the *hugs tightly* wion? -S-STAWVEWING. I-I f-feaw it, I pwomise y-you. -B-BOTTOM. Mastews, you ought to c-considew with youwsewf *hugs tightly* to bwing in- -God shiewd us!- a-a wion among wadies is a most dweadfuw thing; fow -t-thewe is nyot a mowe feawfuw wiwd-foww than youw wion wiving; and -we ought to wook to't. -SNyOUT. Thewefowe anyothew pwowogue must teww he is nyot a wion. -BOTTOM. Nyay, you must n-nyame his n-nyame, and hawf his face must be seen -thwough the wion's n-nyeck; xDD and h-he himsewf must speak >w< thwough, -saying ^w^ thus, ow t-to the same defect: >_> 'Wadies,' ^-^ ow 'Faiw wadies, I -wouwd >_> wish ^-^ you' ow 'I wouwd wequest *blushes* you' ow 'I wouwd entweat *sighs* you -*looks at you* nyot ^-^ to feaw, nyot :3 to twembwe. My wife fow youws! If you think *pokes you* I -come hithew as a wion, it wewe pity of my wife. Nyo, I a-am nyo such -thing; I am a man as othew men ^w^ awe.' *looks away* And thewe, indeed, wet him -nyame >_> his nyame, and teww them pwainwy he is S-Snyug ^w^ the joinyew. -QUINCE. *sighs* Weww, it shaww be so. But thewe is two hawd t-things- that -*looks away* is, t-to bwing the moonwight into a c-chambew; *sighs* fow, >_> you knyow, Pywamus -and Thisby meet by m-moonwight. -SNyOUT. Doth the *cuddles you* moon *looks away* shinye that nyight we pway ouw p-pway? -*hugs tightly* BOTTOM. A cawendaw, :33 a cawendaw! Wook in the *notices bulge* awmanyack; >w< find out -moonshinye, find out m-moonshinye. -QUINCE. Yes, it doth shinye that nyight. -B-BOTTOM. Why, then may you weave OwO a casement *looks away* of the gweat chambew -window, whewe we *twerks* pway, open; and *screams* the moon may shinye in at *twerks* the -casement. -Q-QUINCE. A-Ay; ow ewse onye must come xDD in OwO with a bush of thowns a-and a -wantewn, *shuffles closer* and say he comes to disfiguwe ow to pwesent the >w< pewson -of *shuffles closer* Moonshinye. Then thewe *giggles shyly* is anyothew thing: we must have *looks at you* a waww in -the gweat c-chambew; fow Pywamus *blushes* and Thisby, says the *hugs tightly* stowy, did -tawk thwough the ^-^ chink o-of a waww. -SNyOUT. You *moans* can n-nyevew bwing >w< in a waww. What say *twerks* you, Bottom? -BOTTOM. Some man ow othew must uWu pwesent Waww; a-and wet *giggles shyly* him have some -pwastew, ow uWu some woam, ow s-some wough-cast about him, to *twerks* signyify -waww; and wet h-him howd his fingews :3 thus, and thwough that cwanny -*moans* shaww Pywamus and Thisby w-whispew. -QUINCE. *notices bulge* If that may be, then aww is weww. Come, sit *shuffles closer* down, evewy -mothew's *notices bulge* son, and weheawse youw p-pawts. Pywamus, you begin; when -you h-have spoken youw *looks at you* speech, entew into that *moans* bwake; and so evewy -*moans* onye a-accowding to his c-cue. - -E-Entew :33 PUCK behind - -xDD PUCK. What hempen homespuns have we swagg'wing hewe, -So nyeaw t-the cwadwe of t-the F-Faiwy Queen? -What, a pway uWu towawd! I-I'ww be an auditow; -An actow too pewhaps, >_> if I see cause. -QUINCE. *sighs* Speak, Pywamus. Thisby, stand fowth. -B-BOTTOM. Thisby, the fwowews o-of odious savouws sweet- -QUINCE. 'Odious'- odowous! -BOTTOM. -odouws savouws sweet; -S-So hath thy b-bweath, m-my deawest Thisby deaw. -But UwU hawk, a voice! Stay :3 thou *cuddles you* but *cuddles you* hewe awhiwe, ->_> And b-by and by I wiww to thee appeaw. Exit -PUCK. A stwangew Pywamus than e'ew pwayed hewe! Exit -FWUTE. Must I *twerks* speak nyow? -QUINCE. Ay, mawwy, must you; fow >_< you m-must undewstand he goes but to -see a-a nyoise that he h-heawd, and *shuffles closer* is to come again. -FWUTE. Most wadiant Pywamus, most wiwy-white of hue, -Of cowouw *looks away* wike >w< the wed wose on *notices bulge* twiumphant bwiew, -*teleports behind you* Most bwisky juvenyaw, a-and eke most wovewy Jew, -*blushes* As twue as *looks away* twuest howse, that wouwd nyevew *sweats* tiwe, -I'ww meet t-thee, P-Pywamus, a-at Nyinny's *screams* tomb. -QUINCE. 'Nyinyus' tomb,' man! Why, you must nyot s-speak that yet; that -you answew to Pywamus. You speak aww *teleports behind you* youw pawt at o-once, cues, *cries* and -aww. Pywamus ^.^ entew: youw c-cue is past; *hugs tightly* it is 'nyevew tiwe.' -FWUTE. O-O- As twue a-as twuest howse, that y et wouwd nyevew tiwe. - -We-entew >w< PUCK, a-and BOTTOM *leans over* with an ass's head - -BOTTOM. If I wewe faiw, Thisby, I >_> wewe onwy thinye. -QUINCE. O-O monstwous! O stwange! We awe haunted. *giggles shyly* Pway, mastews! fwy, -mastews! *teleports behind you* Hewp! -Exeunt aww but BOTTOM and PUCK -PUCK. I'ww fowwow y-you; I'ww *cries* wead y-you a-about *shuffles closer* a wound, -Thwough bog, thwough bush, thwough bwake, thwough bwiew; -;;w;; Sometime a howse I'ww b-be, sometime a hound, -x3 A hog, a >_< headwess b-beaw, *pokes you* sometime a xDD fiwe; -And nyeigh, and bawk, and gwunt, and woaw, and UwU buwn, -Wike howse, hound, hog, beaw, fiwe, at evewy tuwn. -Exit -BOTTOM. Why do t-they wun away? This is a knyavewy o-of *shuffles closer* them to make *shuffles closer* me -afeawd. - -We-entew :3 SNyOUT - -SNyOUT. O Bottom, thou awt chang'd! What do I see o-on thee? -BOTTOM. What do you see? You s-see a-an ass-head o-of youw own, d-do you? -Exit SNyOUT - -*leans over* We-entew QUINCE - -*teleports behind you* QUINCE. Bwess thee, Bottom, bwess thee! Thou x3 awt twanswated. -Exit -BOTTOM. I see theiw knyavewy: this is to make an ass of :3 me; to -fwight me, if they uWu couwd. But I-I wiww *cuddles you* nyot stiw fwom this pwace, do -what they can; I wiww wawk up and down hewe, *looks at you* and wiww sing, that -they shaww heaw I am nyot afwaid. [Sings] - -^w^ The ousew cock, so bwack of hue, -With owange-tawny biww, -*hugs tightly* The thwostwe with his nyote so *teleports behind you* twue, -The wwen *sighs* with wittwe quiww. - -TITANyIA. UwU What angew wakes me fwom my fwow'wy x3 bed? -BOTTOM. [Sings] -T-The finch, the *hugs tightly* spawwow, and the wawk, -The *cries* pwain-song cuckoo gwey, -*shuffles closer* Whose nyote f-fuww many a man doth *giggles shyly* mawk, -And d-dawes nyot answew nyay- -fow, indeed, who wouwd set h-his w-wit to so foowish a biwd? -Who wouwd ^.^ give a biwd the ;;w;; he, though he cwy 'cuckoo' nyevew so? -TITANyIA. I pway thee, gentwe mowtaw, s-sing again. -Minye *shuffles closer* eaw is much enyamouwed o-of thy nyote; -So is minye eye enthwawwed to thy s-shape; -uWu And thy faiw viwtue's fowce pewfowce doth move me, -On t-the fiwst view, to say, to sweaw, I-I wove thee. -*notices bulge* BOTTOM. Methinks, mistwess, you shouwd have wittwe weason fow that. -A-And yet, to say the twuth, weason a-and wove keep *looks at you* wittwe company -togethew nyow-a-days. The m-mowe the pity t-that x3 some honyest -nyeighbouws wiww *cries* nyot make them x3 fwiends. Nyay, I can gweek upon -occasion. -*notices bulge* TITANyIA. Thou awt as wise >w< as thou awt beautifuw. -BOTTOM. Nyot so, nyeithew; but if I had wit enyough to get *teleports behind you* out of t-this -wood, I-I :33 have *giggles shyly* enyough to sewve minye own tuwn. -T-TITANyIA. O-Out of this wood do nyot desiwe ;;w;; to go; -Thou shawt wemain hewe whethew thou wiwt ow *moans* nyo. -I *cuddles you* am a-a s-spiwit *cries* of nyo c-common wate; -The summew s-stiww doth tend *hugs tightly* upon my state; -And I do wove thee; thewefowe, go *screams* with *looks away* me. -I'ww give thee faiwies *hugs tightly* to attend on thee; -And they *notices bulge* shaww fetch thee jewews f-fwom the deep, -And sing, whiwe thou on pwessed fwowews *notices bulge* dost sweep; -And I wiww OwO puwge thy mowtaw gwossnyess so -T-That thou shawt wike an aiwy s-spiwit go. -Peasebwossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustawdseed! - -*blushes* Entew PEASEBWOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, and uWu MUSTAWDSEED - -PEASEBWOSSOM. Weady. -*looks away* COBWEB. And I. -MOTH. *leans over* And I. -MUSTAWDSEED. And I. -AWW. Whewe shaww :3 we go? -TITANyIA. Be UwU kind :3 and couwteous to this gentweman; -Hop in his wawks and gambow *twerks* in his eyes; -^w^ Feed him with apwicocks *hugs tightly* and dewbewwies, -With puwpwe gwapes, gween figs, x3 and muwbewwies; -The honyey bags >_< steaw f-fwom t-the humbwe-bees, -And fow nyight-tapews cwop theiw waxen thighs, -A-And wight them at the *cries* fiewy gwow-wowm's eyes, -To have my wove to bed and *blushes* to a-awise; -And pwuck the wings fwom painted buttewfwies, -To fan the moonbeams f-fwom his *leans over* sweeping eyes. -Nyod to him, *looks away* ewves, and do him couwtesies. -PEASEBWOSSOM. Haiw, *looks away* mowtaw! -COBWEB. Haiw! -MOTH. H-Haiw! -MUSTAWDSEED. Haiw! -OwO BOTTOM. I cwy y-youw wowships mewcy, heawtiwy; I beseech *sighs* youw -wowship's nyame. -*looks at you* COBWEB. C-Cobweb. -BOTTOM. I shaww desiwe you of m-mowe ^w^ acquaintance, good Mastew -Cobweb. If I cut my f-fingew, I shaww make bowd w-with you. Youw -nyame, honyest gentweman? -*looks at you* PEASEBWOSSOM. Peasebwossom. -B-BOTTOM. I pway you, commend >w< me to Mistwess Squash, youw mothew, and -to Mastew Peascod, youw fathew. Good Mastew Peasebwossom, I shaww -desiwe you o-of mowe acquaintance too. Youw nyame, I beseech UwU you, -siw? -MUSTAWDSEED. Mustawdseed. -BOTTOM. Good Mastew Mustawdseed, I knyow youw patience weww. That -same cowawdwy giant-wike *shuffles closer* ox-beef *screams* hath devouw'd *twerks* many UwU a *notices bulge* gentweman -*shuffles closer* of youw *looks at you* house. I *pokes you* pwomise ^.^ you youw kindwed hath made my eyes watew -ewe nyow. >_< I d-desiwe you of mowe acquaintance, good Mastew -Mustawdseed. -TITANyIA. C-Come, :33 wait u-upon him; w-wead him to my bowew. -The moon, methinks, w-wooks with a-a *screams* wat'wy eye; -And :3 when she weeps, weeps e-evewy wittwe fwowew; -Wamenting *shuffles closer* some enfowced chastity. -Tie u-up my wove's tongue, bwing ^-^ him siwentwy. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -A-Anyothew pawt of the wood - -^.^ Entew *sighs* OBEWON - -OBEWON. I wondew if Titanyia be awak'd; -Then, w-what it was :33 that nyext *sighs* came i-in hew eye, -Which she must dote o-on i-in extwemity. - -E-Entew P-PUCK - -Hewe comes my messengew. How nyow, mad spiwit! -;;w;; What nyight-wuwe nyow about *notices bulge* this haunted gwove? -PUCK. My mistwess w-with a monstew is in wove. -Nyeaw to hew cwose and consecwated bowew, -Whiwe she was in h-hew duww and sweeping houw, -A-A cwew of patches, ^.^ wude m-mechanyicaws, -That wowk fow b-bwead upon Athenyian stawws, -Wewe m-met togethew *shuffles closer* to weheawse >_> a ^.^ pway -Intended fow gweat *notices bulge* Theseus' nyuptiaw d-day. -The shawwowest thickskin of that bawwen *shuffles closer* sowt, -*hugs tightly* Who ^w^ Pywamus p-pwesented, i-in theiw spowt -Fowsook his scenye and >_> ent'wed in a bwake; -When I did him at this advantage take, -An a-ass's nyowe I fixed on *teleports behind you* his head. -Anyon his >_> Thisby must be answewed, -A-And fowth m-my m-mimic c-comes. When t-they him s-spy, -As wiwd geese that *blushes* the cweeping fowwew eye, -Ow wusset-pated choughs, many in sowt, -Wising and cawing a-at the gun's wepowt, -Sevew themsewves and madwy s-sweep the *leans over* sky, -So at h-his *moans* sight *teleports behind you* away his fewwows fwy; -And at ouw stamp hewe, o'ew and >w< o'ew onye fawws; -He muwdew c-cwies, and hewp fwom Athens cawws. -Theiw sense thus weak, x3 wost with theiw feaws thus stwong, -Made x3 sensewess things *looks away* begin to do them *looks away* wwong, -Fow bwiews and thowns a-at theiw appawew snyatch; -Some sweeves, some hats, fwom yiewdews aww things *screams* catch. -I wed them on in this distwacted feaw, -And weft *giggles shyly* sweet P-Pywamus twanswated thewe; -When in that moment, so *moans* it came *screams* to pass, -Titanyia *giggles shyly* wak'd, and stwaightway >w< wov'd an ass. -OBEWON. This fawws out bettew than I couwd devise. -But hast thou yet watch'd the Athenyian's eyes -With the wove-juice, as I uWu did bid thee do? -*blushes* PUCK. I t-took him s-sweeping- t-that is finyish'd too- -And the Athenyian *giggles shyly* woman by his side; -T-That, w-when he *giggles shyly* wak'd, of fowce s-she must be ey'd. - -Entew DEMETWIUS and HEWMIA - -OBEWON. Stand cwose; *cries* this is the same Athenyian. -PUCK. This is the woman, but OwO nyot this the man. -DEMETWIUS. *cries* O, >_< why *shuffles closer* webuke you him that woves you :33 so? -W-Way bweath so bittew on youw bittew foe. -HEWMIA. Nyow I UwU but chide, but I shouwd u-use t-thee wowse, -Fow thou, I feaw, hast *shuffles closer* given m-me cause to c-cuwse. -If thou hast swain Wysandew i-in his sweep, -Being o'ew shoes in bwood, pwunge in the deep, -And kiww me too. -The sun *looks away* was nyot so twue u-unto the day -A-As he t-to m-me. Wouwd he have stowen away -Fwom s-sweeping :33 Hewmia? I-I'ww bewieve as soon -*cuddles you* This whowe *pokes you* eawth may be b-bow'd, a-and *cries* that the *sweats* moon -M-May thwough the centwe cweep and so dispwease -*looks away* Hew bwothew's nyoontide with th' Antipodes. -It cannyot be b-but thou h-hast muwd'wed him; -So uWu shouwd a-a muwdewew wook- so dead, >_< so gwim. -*sweats* DEMETWIUS. So shouwd t-the muwdewed wook; ;;w;; and so shouwd I, -Piewc'd thwough the heawt with youw stewn cwuewty; -Yet you, the muwdewew, x3 wook as bwight, as cweaw, -As yondew Venyus in hew gwimmewing sphewe. -HEWMIA. What's this to my Wysandew? Whewe is he? -Ah, g-good *twerks* Demetwius, wiwt thou give him me? -DEMETWIUS. I had wathew give his cawcass *sweats* to my hounds. -HEWMIA. Out, dog! ;;w;; out, cuw! Thou dwiv'st *hugs tightly* me past the bounds -*cries* Of maiden's patience. Hast thou swain *moans* him, then? -H-Hencefowth be n-nyevew nyumb'wed among men! -O, once teww twue; teww twue, *screams* even >w< fow m-my sake! -Duwst thou h-have wook'd u-upon h-him *looks away* being awake, -And hast thou kiww'd h-him sweeping? O bwave *moans* touch! -C-Couwd nyot a-a wowm, an addew, do so much? -An addew *looks at you* did it; fow *moans* with d-doubwew tongue -Than t-thinye, thou *teleports behind you* sewpent, nyevew addew stung. -DEMETWIUS. You s-spend youw passion o-on *blushes* a m-mispwis'd mood: -I am nyot guiwty of *pokes you* Wysandew's bwood; -Nyow is he dead, fow a-aught that I c-can teww. -HEWMIA. I-I pway t-thee, *moans* teww me then that he *cries* is :3 weww. -DEMETWIUS. An *moans* if I *giggles shyly* couwd, what shouwd *teleports behind you* I get t-thewefowe? -HEWMIA. A pwiviwege nyevew to see me mowe. -And fwom t-thy hated pwesence pawt I so; -See *shuffles closer* me nyo mowe >_> whethew he be dead >w< ow nyo. Exit -DEMETWIUS. Thewe is nyo *cries* fowwowing hew in this fiewce v-vein; -Hewe, thewefowe, fow a w-whiwe I-I wiww wemain. -So sowwow's heavinyess doth heaview gwow -*sighs* Fow debt that ;;w;; bankwupt sweep doth sowwow *sighs* owe; -Which nyow in x3 some swight measuwe it wiww pay, -If fow ;;w;; his UwU tendew hewe I-I make ;;w;; some stay. [Wies down] -*looks away* OBEWON. What *pokes you* hast thou donye? Thou hast mistaken quite, -A-And waid t-the wove-juice on some twue-wove's sight. -Of thy mispwision must pewfowce ensue -Some twue wove tuwn'd, *twerks* and nyot a f-fawse tuwn'd twue. -P-PUCK. Then fate o'ew-wuwes, that, onye m-man howding twoth, -A miwwion faiw, confounding oath *pokes you* on oath. -OBEWON. About the wood go swiftew than *shuffles closer* the wind, -A-And *looks away* Hewenya of *cries* Athens wook thou *cuddles you* find; -Aww fancy-sick she is and pawe :3 of cheew, -W-With sighs of wove *looks away* that costs the f-fwesh bwood deaw. -By some iwwusion see thou bwing *giggles shyly* hew hewe; -I'ww chawm his eyes against she UwU do appeaw. -PUCK. I-I go, I go; wook :33 how I-I *screams* go, -Swiftew than awwow fwom the Tawtaw's bow. Exit -OBEWON. Fwowew o-of this *cries* puwpwe d-dye, -H-Hit with x3 Cupid's awchewy, -S-Sink in appwe of his eye. -When his w-wove he doth e-espy, -Wet h-hew shinye as gwowiouswy -As the Venyus of the sky. -When thou wak'st, if she b-be by, -Beg of hew fow w-wemedy. - -W-We-entew PUCK - -PUCK. Captain of ouw f-faiwy band, -Hewenya is hewe *sighs* at hand, -And the youth mistook by me -Pweading fow a wovew's fee; ->w< Shaww we *sweats* theiw f-fond pageant s-see? -Wowd, what *giggles shyly* foows these UwU mowtaws be! -*teleports behind you* OBEWON. Stand aside. The nyoise they make -Wiww cause Demetwius to a-awake. -PUCK. Then wiww two at once woo onye. -That must nyeeds be s-spowt awonye; -And those things do best pwease me -That befaww pwepost'wouswy. - -UwU Entew >_> WYSANDEW ;;w;; and HEWENyA - -WYSANDEW. Why shouwd you think *looks away* that I shouwd woo i-in s-scown? -Scown and dewision nyevew c-come in teaws. -Wook *looks at you* when I vow, I ;;w;; weep; and vows so bown, -I-In t-theiw nyativity a-aww twuth appeaws. -How can these xDD things in me seem scown t-to you, -*teleports behind you* Beawing the badge of faith, to x3 pwove >_> them t-twue? -H-HEWENyA. *twerks* You do advance youw cunnying mowe and mowe. -When *sweats* twuth kiwws twuth, O deviwish-howy fway! -T-These *hugs tightly* vows a-awe Hewmia's. W-Wiww *looks at you* you give hew o'ew? -Weigh oath with oath, and you wiww nyothing weigh: ->_< Youw vows t-to hew >w< and me, p-put *cuddles you* in t-two scawes, -Wiww even weigh; and both as w-wight as tawes. -WYSANDEW. I hod nyo judgment when to h-hew *sweats* I swowe. -HEWENyA. Nyow nyonye, i-in my *blushes* mind, n-nyow you *twerks* give hew o'ew. -WYSANDEW. OwO Demetwius woves hew, and he woves nyot you. -DEMETWIUS. *pokes you* [Awaking] *pokes you* O Hewen, *leans over* goddess, n-nymph, pewfect, divinye! -*sighs* To what, my w-wove, shaww I compawe thinye eynye? -Cwystaw uWu is muddy. O, how wipe in show -Thy wips, those kissing c-chewwies, tempting gwow! -That puwe congeawed white, high Tauwus' snyow, -Fann'd with x3 the eastewn w-wind, tuwns to a cwow -When t-thou howd'st up thy hand. O, wet me kiss -This p-pwincess o-of puwe white, t-this seaw of bwiss! -HEWENyA. O spite! O >_< heww! I see you aww awe bent -To set against UwU me fow y-youw m-mewwiment. -If y-you wewe civiw and knyew couwtesy, -You wouwd nyot d-do me thus much *screams* injuwy. -Can y-you nyot hate me, as I k-knyow you d-do, -But you must join in souws to mock me too? -If you wewe m-men, as men you awe in show, -You wouwd nyot *teleports behind you* use a gentwe w-wady so: -To vow, and sweaw, and s-supewpwaise *blushes* my *pokes you* pawts, -When I-I am suwe you hate me with youw heawts. -You both awe wivaws, and w-wove Hewmia; -And nyow both wivaws, to mock Hewenya. -:33 A twim *shuffles closer* expwoit, a manwy *twerks* entewpwise, -To conjuwe teaws up in a poow m-maid's eyes -;;w;; With y-youw dewision! Nyonye of nyobwe sowt -Wouwd so offend a *shuffles closer* viwgin, and extowt -A poow s-souw's patience, aww to *moans* make you spowt. -WYSANDEW. >_< You awe unkind, Demetwius; be :33 nyot s-so; -Fow you wove >w< Hewmia. This *hugs tightly* you knyow I knyow; -*sweats* And h-hewe, with aww g-good wiww, with aww m-my heawt, -*cuddles you* In Hewmia's wove I yiewd you up my pawt; -And youws o-of Hewenya to me bequeath, -W-Whom *cries* I d-do *sweats* wove and wiww do tiww my death. -HEWENyA. *shuffles closer* Nyevew did mockews w-waste mowe idwe *twerks* bweath. -DEMETWIUS. Wysandew, keep t-thy Hewmia; I wiww nyonye. -If e'ew I :3 wov'd hew, aww that wove is gonye. -*blushes* My heawt to h-hew but as g-guest-wise sojouwn'd, -And n-nyow to Hewen i-is it *teleports behind you* home wetuwn'd, -Thewe to w-wemain. -WYSANDEW. Hewen, it i-is nyot so. -DEMETWIUS. Dispawage nyot the xDD faith thou dost nyot knyow, -West, t-to *screams* thy *shuffles closer* pewiw, thou aby *notices bulge* it deaw. -Wook whewe thy wove c-comes; yondew is thy deaw. - -Entew HEWMIA - -HEWMIA. Dawk n-nyight, that fwom the eye his function takes, -The eaw m-mowe quick of appwehension makes; -W-Whewein it doth impaiw the seeing *shuffles closer* sense, -It p-pays *sweats* the heawing doubwe wecompense. -Thou awt n-nyot by minye e-eye, Wysandew, found; -*sweats* Minye eaw, *looks at you* I thank *pokes you* it, bwought me *twerks* to thy sound. -But :3 why unkindwy *sweats* didst thou OwO weave *giggles shyly* me so? -WYSANDEW. Why shouwd :33 he stay w-whom wove ^w^ doth p-pwess t-to x3 go? -HEWMIA. W-What wove couwd *notices bulge* pwess Wysandew fwom *hugs tightly* my side? -*twerks* WYSANDEW. Wysandew's wove, that *sighs* wouwd nyot wet x3 him bide- -Faiw H-Hewenya, OwO who mowe engiwds the nyight -*pokes you* Than aww yon fiewy *leans over* oes and eyes of w-wight. -W-Why seek'st thou me? Couwd nyot this m-make thee knyow -*blushes* The hate I bawe *moans* thee made me weave >_< thee so? -HEWMIA. You s-speak n-nyot as you think; it cannyot be. -HEWENyA. Wo, she is *sweats* onye of this confedewacy! -Nyow I pewceive they have conjoin'd aww thwee -To fashion this fawse spowt in s-spite of me. -Injuwious Hewmia! most ungwatefuw maid! -Have you conspiw'd, h-have you with these contwiv'd, -To bait me w-with this fouw dewision? -Is aww the *sweats* counsew t-that w-we t-two have shaw'd, -The sistews' v-vows, t-the x3 houws that we have spent, -;;w;; When we >_< have chid the hasty-footed time -Fow pawting *leans over* us- O, is aww *twerks* fowgot? -Aww schoow-days' fwiendship, chiwdhood innyocence? -We, Hewmia, :3 wike two awtificiaw gods, -H-Have with ouw nyeedwes cweated both :33 onye f-fwowew, -Both on onye sampwew, sitting on *looks away* onye *pokes you* cushion, -B-Both *shuffles closer* wawbwing *sweats* of onye *looks away* song, both in onye key; -As if ouw hands, ouw sides, voices, and m-minds, -Had been incowpowate. So we gwew togethew, -Wike t-to a doubwe chewwy, seeming pawted, -But yet a-an unyion in pawtition, -Two wovewy bewwies mouwded on onye *looks at you* stewn; -So, with two seeming bodies, ;;w;; but onye h-heawt; -*pokes you* Two of t-the fiwst, wike coats in *screams* hewawdwy, -*giggles shyly* Due but to onye, and cwownyed with o-onye cwest. -And >_> wiww you went ouw ancient wove asundew, -*screams* To j-join *moans* with men *giggles shyly* in scownying youw poow fwiend? -It is *shuffles closer* nyot ^.^ fwiendwy, '-'tis nyot m-maidenwy; -Ouw sex, as weww as I, may chide you fow it, -Though I ^w^ awonye do feew the injuwy. -HEWMIA. I am amazed at youw passionyate wowds; -I scown you nyot; it seems that you scown me. ->_< HEWENyA. Have you nyot set Wysandew, as in scown, -To ^w^ fowwow *blushes* me and p-pwaise *leans over* my eyes and face? -^-^ And m-made youw o-othew wove, Demetwius, -Who even but nyow did spuwn me with his foot, -To caww me goddess, nymph, ^w^ divinye, and wawe, -Pwecious, cewestiaw? Whewefowe speaks he this -To hew he *giggles shyly* hates? And *pokes you* whewefowe *cuddles you* doth Wysandew -Deny youw wove, s-so wich within his *blushes* souw, -*shuffles closer* And t-tendew me, fowsooth, ^w^ affection, -But by y-youw setting >w< on, by uWu youw consent? -What though I be nyot s-so in gwace as you, -So *leans over* hung upon with w-wove, so fowtunyate, -But misewabwe most, to wove unwov'd? -This you shouwd pity wathew than *shuffles closer* despise. -H-HEWMIA. I ^.^ undewstand nyot what you mean by *cuddles you* this. -HEWENyA. Ay, do- pewsevew, countewfeit x3 sad wooks, -Make m-mouths upon me when I tuwn my OwO back, -Wink each *twerks* at othew; ;;w;; howd the sweet jest *moans* up; -This spowt, weww *pokes you* cawwied, shaww be *leans over* chwonyicwed. -If y-you have any pity, gwace, ow mannyews, -You wouwd *blushes* nyot make me such ;;w;; an awgument. -But fawe y-ye weww; 'tis p-pawtwy my own fauwt, -Which *pokes you* death, ow absence, soon shaww wemedy. -WYSANDEW. S-Stay, gentwe Hewenya; *looks at you* heaw my excuse; -My xDD wove, my w-wife, my souw, faiw *teleports behind you* Hewenya! -H-HEWENyA. O-O excewwent! -*sighs* HEWMIA. Sweet, do nyot scown h-hew so. -DEMETWIUS. If she cannyot entweat, I can compew. -WYSANDEW. Thou canst compew nyo mowe than she entweat; -Thy thweats have n-nyo mowe stwength than hew weak *giggles shyly* pwayews -Hewen, *cries* I wove thee, by my wife OwO I do; -I ^-^ sweaw by that which I wiww wose fow thee -T-To uWu pwove him fawse that says I wove thee nyot. -DEMETWIUS. I say ^.^ I wove thee mowe than ^w^ he can d-do. -WYSANDEW. If t-thou say so, w-withdwaw, and pwove it too. -DEMETWIUS. Quick, *shuffles closer* come. -HEWMIA. Wysandew, *leans over* wheweto tends aww this? -WYSANDEW. Away, you Ethiope! -DEMETWIUS. Nyo, nyo, he w-wiww -Seem *blushes* to bweak w-woose- take on as you *cuddles you* wouwd *hugs tightly* fowwow, -But yet *screams* come nyot. You awe a *looks at you* tame man; uWu go! -W-WYSANDEW. Hang off, thou cat, thou buww; v-viwe thing, wet w-woose, -Ow I wiww shake thee fwom me *cries* wike a-a sewpent. -HEWMIA. Why *looks at you* awe you gwown so *looks away* wude? What change is this, -Sweet wove? -WYSANDEW. Thy wove! Out, tawny :3 Tawtaw, out! -Out, woathed med'cinye! O hated potion, hence! -HEWMIA. Do you nyot jest? -HEWENyA. Yes, sooth; and >_> so *sweats* do you. -WYSANDEW. Demetwius, I wiww *looks away* keep my w-wowd uWu with thee. -DEMETWIUS. I wouwd I had y-youw bond; fow I *sweats* pewceive -A weak bond howds you; I'ww nyot twust youw wowd. -*screams* WYSANDEW. *blushes* What, shouwd I huwt hew, stwike hew, kiww hew dead? -Awthough I hate hew, I'ww nyot hawm hew *screams* so. -HEWMIA. What! Can y-you do m-me gweatew hawm than hate? -Hate me! whewefowe? O me! what n-nyews, my wove? -Am nyot I Hewmia? Awe nyot you Wysandew? -I am a-as faiw *teleports behind you* nyow as I was ewewhiwe. -Since nyight you wov'd me; y-yet since nyight you weft me. -Why >w< then, y-you w-weft me- O, the gods f-fowbid!- -In :3 eawnyest, shaww I say? -WYSANDEW. Ay, by my wife! -And nyevew did desiwe to see thee *sweats* mowe. -*sweats* Thewefowe *cries* be out of hope, of ^-^ question, *twerks* of doubt; -Be cewtain, nyothing twuew; 'tis nyo jest -*moans* That I do hate *blushes* thee a-and *moans* wove Hewenya. -HEWMIA. O-O me! x3 you juggwew! you cankewbwossom! -You thief of :3 wove! What! Have ^w^ you come *blushes* by nyight, -*screams* And *cries* stow'n m-my :3 wove's h-heawt *looks away* fwom him? -HEWENyA. Finye, i-i' faith! -Have y-you nyo modesty, nyo UwU maiden *twerks* shame, -;;w;; Nyo t-touch *leans over* of bashfuwnyess? What! Wiww you teaw -*screams* Impatient answews f-fwom my gentwe tongue? -Fie, fie! you countewfeit, you puppet you! -HEWMIA. 'Puppet!' why so? *looks at you* Ay, that >_< way goes the g-game. -Nyow UwU I pewceive that she hath made c-compawe -Between ouw statuwes; she hath u-uwg'd h-hew height; -And with hew p-pewsonyage, hew taww pewsonyage, -Hew h-height, fowsooth, she hath pwevaiw'd *moans* with h-him. -A-And awe *hugs tightly* you gwown x3 so OwO high *looks at you* in his esteem -Because I am so dwawfish and s-so w-wow? -How wow am I, xDD thou painted UwU maypowe? Speak. -H-How w-wow am I? I am nyot yet *shuffles closer* so wow -But t-that my nyaiws x3 can weach unto t-thinye x3 eyes. -:3 HEWENyA. *leans over* I pway you, t-though UwU you mock :33 me, gentwemen, -Wet hew nyot huwt me. I was nyevew cuwst; -I have n-nyo gift at aww in shwewishnyess; -I am a wight maid fow my cowawdice; -^w^ Wet hew nyot stwike me. You pewhaps may think, -Because she is ;;w;; something wowew than mysewf, -T-That I-I can match hew. -H-HEWMIA. 'Wowew' hawk, again. -H-HEWENyA. Good Hewmia, do nyot be so bittew *leans over* with me. -*pokes you* I uWu evewmowe did wove you, H-Hewmia, -Did evew k-keep y-youw counsews, nyevew wwong'd you; -Save that, in wove unto Demetwius, -I *hugs tightly* towd >_> him of youw steawth unto xDD this wood. -He fowwowed you; fow wove I fowwowed *twerks* him; -But he hath chid me hence, and thweat'nyed me -To stwike me, spuwn m-me, nyay, t-to kiww me t-too; -*cries* And nyow, s-so you wiww wet me quiet go, -To Athens wiww I beaw my fowwy back, -*leans over* And fowwow you nyo fuwthew. Wet m-me go. -You see how simpwe and *sweats* how f-fond I a-am. -H-HEWMIA. Why, get you gonye! Who is't that *leans over* hindews y-you? -HEWENyA. A foowish *sighs* heawt that I-I weave hewe b-behind. -HEWMIA. What! with Wysandew? -HEWENyA. With *moans* Demetwius. -WYSANDEW. B-Be nyot afwaid; >_< she shaww nyot hawm thee, Hewenya. -DEMETWIUS. *shuffles closer* Nyo, siw, she s-shaww nyot, though y-you take hew pawt. -HEWENyA. O, when she *shuffles closer* is angwy, she is k-keen a-and shwewd; -She was a vixen when *moans* she went t-to schoow; -And, though she be but wittwe, xDD she is >_> fiewce. -HEWMIA. 'Wittwe' again! N-Nyothing but '-'wow' ;;w;; and x3 'wittwe'! -Why wiww you suffew hew to fwout me *shuffles closer* thus? -^.^ Wet me come to hew. -WYSANDEW. Get you gonye, you dwawf; -You m-minyimus, of hind'wing knyot-gwass made; -You bead, *notices bulge* you acown. -*cries* DEMETWIUS. You awe too officious -In hew ^-^ behawf :3 that >_> scowns y-youw sewvices. -Wet hew awonye; speak nyot of Hewenya; -Take nyot hew pawt; fow if *teleports behind you* thou *giggles shyly* dost intend -Nyevew so wittwe show of wove to hew, -Thou s-shawt ^w^ aby it. -*notices bulge* WYSANDEW. Nyow she *sighs* howds me nyot. -Nyow fowwow, if thou daw'st, to twy whose w-wight, -Of thinye ow minye, is most >_> in Hewenya. -DEMETWIUS. ^-^ Fowwow! Nyay, I'ww go with thee, cheek by j-joww. -Exeunt WYSANDEW and DEMETWIUS -H-HEWMIA. You, mistwess, aww this c-coiw is *giggles shyly* wong o-of you. -Nyay, go nyot back. -HEWENyA. I *giggles shyly* wiww n-nyot twust y-you, I; -Nyow wongew *notices bulge* stay in youw cuwst company. ->w< Youw hands than minye awe quickew fow a fway; -My wegs awe wongew though, to w-wun away. Exit -HEWMIA. I a-am amaz'd, *teleports behind you* and knyow nyot *notices bulge* what to say. Exit -OBEWON. This is thy *moans* nyegwigence. Stiww thou mistak'st, -Ow ewse committ'st t-thy knyavewies wiwfuwwy. -PUCK. Bewieve m-me, king of s-shadows, I mistook. -Did n-nyot you teww me uWu I shouwd k-knyow the :33 man -By the Athenyian g-gawments he h-had on? -And so faw bwamewess pwoves my entewpwise ->w< That I-I have '-'nyointed an A-Athenyian's eyes; -And so faw am I gwad it ^w^ so *screams* did sowt, -As this t-theiw j-jangwing I *giggles shyly* esteem a s-spowt. -OBEWON. Thou s-seest these wovews seek *sweats* a pwace to fight. -*pokes you* Hie *looks at you* thewefowe, Wobin, ovewcast *twerks* the nyight; -The *notices bulge* stawwy w-wewkin covew thou a-anyon -With *sighs* dwooping fog as bwack as *blushes* Achewon, -And ;;w;; wead these testy wivaws so *looks away* astway -As onye c-come nyot within anyothew's way. -*notices bulge* Wike to Wysandew s-sometime fwame thy tongue, -Then stiw Demetwius up with bittew *looks away* wwong; -uWu And sometime waiw thou wike Demetwius; -And fwom each o-othew wook thou w-wead them thus, -Tiww o'ew *pokes you* theiw bwows death-countewfeiting sweep -With weaden wegs and *shuffles closer* batty wings doth cweep. -Then cwush this hewb into Wysandew's eye; -Whose wiquow hath this v-viwtuous p-pwopewty, -To t-take fwom thence aww ewwow with his might -And m-make his e-eyebawws woww *leans over* with *sighs* wonted sight. -When ^w^ they nyext wake, aww this dewision -Shaww seem a dweam >_< and fwuitwess vision; -And back to Athens s-shaww the w-wovews w-wend -With weague whose date tiww d-death uWu shaww nyevew end. -Whiwes I in this affaiw do thee ^w^ empwoy, -I'ww *teleports behind you* to my queen, and beg hew Indian boy; -And then I wiww hew *looks away* chawmed eye wewease -Fwom monstew's *looks away* view, and aww things shaww *teleports behind you* be p-peace. -UwU PUCK. My faiwy *sweats* wowd, this must be donye with *leans over* haste, -F-Fow nyight's swift dwagons cut the cwouds fuww fast; -A-And yondew shinyes Auwowa's ;;w;; hawbingew, -At whose appwoach ;;w;; ghosts, wand'wing hewe and thewe, -T-Twoop *screams* home to chuwchyawds. Damnyed spiwits aww -That in >_< cwoss-ways and fwoods have buwiaw, -*hugs tightly* Awweady to theiw *looks away* wowmy beds awe gonye, -Fow feaw west day ^.^ shouwd wook theiw shames upon; -They wiwfuwwy themsewves exiw'd fwom wight, -OwO And must *blushes* fow aye consowt with >_< bwack-bwow'd nyight. -OBEWON. But we *shuffles closer* awe *screams* spiwits of anyothew sowt: -I with the Mownying's *teleports behind you* wove have oft made spowt; -And, wike a-a fowestew, the gwoves may twead -Even tiww the eastewn ^.^ gate, aww fiewy UwU wed, -*sweats* Openying on *moans* Nyeptunye with *cries* faiw bwessed beams, -*cries* Tuwns into yewwow gowd h-his sawt gween stweams. -But, n-nyotwithstanding, h-haste, make nyo deway; -We may effect this *shuffles closer* businyess yet ewe *giggles shyly* day. *leans over* Exit OBEWON -PUCK. Up and *screams* down, up and OwO down, -I wiww wead them up and down. -I am feaw'd in fiewd x3 and *notices bulge* town. -Gobwin, wead them ^w^ up and down. -H-Hewe comes onye. - -xDD Entew WYSANDEW - -WYSANDEW. W-Whewe awt thou, pwoud D-Demetwius? Speak thou nyow. -PUCK. Hewe, viwwain, dwawn and w-weady. *shuffles closer* Whewe awt thou? -W-WYSANDEW. *shuffles closer* I wiww be with thee UwU stwaight. -P-PUCK. Fowwow me, then, -To pwainyew gwound. Exit WYSANDEW as f-fowwowing *sweats* the voice - -Entew D-DEMETWIUS - -DEMETWIUS. *twerks* Wysandew, speak again. -Thou xDD wunyaway, thou c-cowawd, a-awt thou fwed? -Speak! ;;w;; In some bush? Whewe d-dost *blushes* thou *sweats* hide thy head? -*cries* PUCK. *giggles shyly* Thou cowawd, awt *looks at you* thou bwagging to the staws, -*moans* Tewwing the b-bushes *cries* that UwU thou wook'st fow waws, -*looks at you* And wiwt nyot come? Come, wecweant, come, thou chiwd; -I'ww whip t-thee with *giggles shyly* a wod. He i-is d-defiw'd -*twerks* That dwaws a swowd *looks at you* on thee. -DEMETWIUS. Yea, awt *screams* thou thewe? -PUCK. Fowwow my voice; we'ww twy nyo :3 manhood >_> hewe. Exeunt - -We-entew WYSANDEW - -WYSANDEW. He goes befowe m-me, and stiww dawes me on; -When *pokes you* I come whewe he cawws, then he is gonye. -The v-viwwain is much *sighs* wightew heew'd t-than I. -I fowwowed f-fast, but fastew he did *cuddles you* fwy, -That fawwen am I in dawk unyeven way, -And hewe *sweats* wiww >_< west me. [Wies down] :3 Come, thou xDD gentwe day. -F-Fow if *notices bulge* but once thou show m-me thy gwey wight, -I'ww find Demetwius, and wevenge this OwO spite. [Sweeps] - -We-entew *cries* PUCK and DEMETWIUS - ->_> PUCK. H-Ho, ho, ho! *twerks* Cowawd, why com'st thou nyot? -DEMETWIUS. >_< Abide me, if thou daw'st; f-fow weww *giggles shyly* I w-wot -Thou w-wun'st befowe m-me, shifting evewy *moans* pwace, -And daw'st x3 nyot stand, nyow wook me in the face. -W-Whewe a-awt thou nyow? -PUCK. Come hithew; *teleports behind you* I am *hugs tightly* hewe. -DEMETWIUS. N-Nyay, t-then, t-thou mock'st me. Thou shawt buy this deaw, -If evew I thy face by daywight see; -Nyow, go thy way. Faintnyess constwainyeth m-me -To measuwe *giggles shyly* out my wength on *shuffles closer* this cowd bed. -By day's appwoach wook to be visited. -[Wies down and sweeps] - -*sweats* Entew HEWENyA - -HEWENyA. O-O weawy *giggles shyly* nyight, O wong a-and tedious nyight, -Abate thy houws! Shinye comfowts fwom the east, -That I-I may back to Athens >w< by d-daywight, -Fwom these *looks at you* that m-my poow company detest. -And sweep, *looks at you* that sometimes shuts up sowwow's eye, -Steaw me awhiwe *moans* fwom minye own company. [Sweeps] -PUCK. Yet b-but thwee? Come UwU onye *cuddles you* mowe; -Two of both kinds makes up fouw. -Hewe she comes, cuwst and sad. -C-Cupid is a knyavish wad, -Thus to make poow femawes mad. - -Entew HEWMIA - -HEWMIA. Nyevew so weawy, *shuffles closer* nyevew so in woe, -*blushes* Bedabbwed w-with *giggles shyly* the dew, a-and town with bwiews, -*blushes* I can nyo fuwthew cwaww, nyo fuwthew go; -My wegs *sweats* can keep nyo UwU pace with my >_> desiwes. -Hewe wiww I west me tiww *moans* the *cries* bweak of day. ->w< Heavens shiewd W-Wysandew, if they mean a-a f-fway! -[Wies down a-and >w< sweeps] -PUCK. >w< On the gwound -Sweep s-sound; -I'ww a-appwy -To youw eye, -Gentwe wovew, wemedy. -[Squeezing the juice xDD on WYSANDEW'S eyes] -W-When thou wak'st, -Thou tak'st -Twue dewight -In the sight -Of thy fowmew *blushes* wady's eye; -And the countwy p-pwovewb knyown, -That evewy uWu man shouwd take his own, -In *screams* youw waking shaww be *blushes* shown: -Jack s-shaww *pokes you* have Jiww; -Nyought *screams* shaww go iww; -The man shaww have his mawe again, and a-aww shaww be x3 weww. -Exit - - - - -<-<_> GUTENBEWG ETEXT O-OF I-IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE :33 COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW Y-YOUW OW O-OTHEWS -P-PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) ;;w;; AWE *hugs tightly* NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED :3 COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION *twerks* INCWUDES B-BY *sweats* ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES *giggles shyly* FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW >w< FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*twerks* ACT I-IV. S-SCENyE I-I. -The wood. WYSANDEW, DEMETWIUS, HEWENyA, and HEWMIA, wying asweep - -Entew TITANyIA and Bottom; *leans over* PEASEBWOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTAWDSEED, -*sweats* and o-othew FAIWIES attending; -OBEWON behind, unseen - -TITANyIA. *moans* Come, sit thee down >_< upon this f-fwow'wy bed, -Whiwe I thy amiabwe cheeks d-do coy, -And stick musk-woses x3 in thy s-sweek smooth head, -A-And kiss t-thy faiw wawge eaws, my gentwe joy. -BOTTOM. Whewe's Peasebwossom? ->w< PEASEBWOSSOM. W-Weady. -BOTTOM. Scwatch my head, Peasebwossom. -Whewe's Mounsieuw Cobweb? -COBWEB. Weady. -B-BOTTOM. Mounsieuw Cobweb; good mounsieuw, get you youw weapons in -youw hand and kiww me a wed-hipp'd >_< humbwe-bee >w< on *teleports behind you* the top of a-a -thistwe; and, good m-mounsieuw, bwing me t-the UwU honyey-bag. Do nyot fwet -youwsewf too much *pokes you* in the action, mounsieuw; and, good *twerks* mounsieuw, -have a cawe the *sweats* honyey-bag bweak nyot; I wouwd be woath to have y-you -ovewfwown *teleports behind you* with *sweats* a uWu honyey-bag, signyiow. Whewe's Mounsieuw -Mustawdseed? -M-MUSTAWDSEED. Weady. -BOTTOM. Give me youw :33 nyeaf, Mounsieuw Mustawdseed. xDD Pway you, weave -youw cuwtsy, good mounsieuw. -MUSTAWDSEED. What's *pokes you* youw wiww? -BOTTOM. Nyothing, good mounsieuw, but to hewp C-Cavawewy Cobweb to -^.^ scwatch. I must to the bawbew's, mounsieuw; fow methinks I am -mawvewwous *cries* haiwy a-about the face; a-and I am *twerks* such a tendew ass, if -my haiw do but tickwe me I must scwatch. -T-TITANyIA. *giggles shyly* What, wiwt thou heaw some music, my sweet wove? -BOTTOM. I have a w-weasonyabwe good eaw in music. Wet's h-have the tongs -*looks away* and the b-bonyes. -TITANyIA. Ow say, *teleports behind you* sweet wove, what thou desiwest t-to *giggles shyly* eat. -*notices bulge* BOTTOM. Twuwy, a peck of pwovendew; I *leans over* couwd munch youw good dwy -oats. Methinks I-I *sweats* have a gweat desiwe to a b-bottwe of hay. Good -hay, *giggles shyly* sweet hay, hath nyo fewwow. -TITANyIA. I have a-a ventuwous f-faiwy that shaww seek -T-The s-squiwwew's hoawd, and fetch thee nyew nyuts. -BOTTOM. *shuffles closer* I had wathew have a handfuw ow two of dwied peas. But, I -pway you, wet n-nyonye o-of y-youw peopwe stiw m-me; I-I have a-an exposition -of sweep come upon me. -TITANyIA. Sweep t-thou, *leans over* and I wiww OwO wind thee in m-my awms. -Faiwies, be gonye, and be a-aww ways *cries* away. Exeunt FAIWIES -So doth the w-woodbinye the sweet honyeysuckwe -*blushes* Gentwy entwist; the femawe ivy so -Enwings t-the *teleports behind you* bawky fingews of *notices bulge* the ewm. -O-O, how I wove thee! how *sweats* I dote on *cuddles you* thee! [They sweep] - -Entew PUCK - -OBEWON. ^-^ [Advancing] Wewcome, good Wobin. ^-^ Seest t-thou this sweet -sight? -*cuddles you* Hew dotage nyow I d-do begin to pity; -Fow, meeting hew of wate behind >w< the wood, -Seeking sweet favouws fow this hatefuw foow, -*blushes* I d-did ^-^ upbwaid hew and faww *screams* out with hew. -Fow she his haiwy tempwes then had w-wounded -With cowonyet of fwesh uWu and fwagwant fwowews; -And that same d-dew which sometime *shuffles closer* on the buds -W-Was *teleports behind you* wont to sweww wike >_> wound and *leans over* owient peawws -Stood nyow within the pwetty fwowewets' eyes, -Wike teaws that :3 did theiw o-own disgwace *looks at you* bewaiw. -When I had a-at my pweasuwe taunted hew, -And she in m-miwd tewms begg'd my patience, -I >w< then uWu did ^.^ ask of hew hew changewing chiwd; -*blushes* Which *blushes* stwaight she gave *giggles shyly* me, *pokes you* and hew faiwy >_< sent -To beaw him to *sweats* my bowew in faiwy w-wand. -And n-nyow I have *shuffles closer* the boy, I wiww undo -This h-hatefuw impewfection of hew *teleports behind you* eyes. -And, gentwe >_> Puck, take this twansfowmed scawp -F-Fwom off *screams* the *sweats* head ;;w;; of this Athenyian x3 swain, -That he a-awaking when *shuffles closer* the *cuddles you* othew do -May aww to Athens back again wepaiw, -And ;;w;; think n-nyo mowe of this *leans over* nyight's accidents -But as the fiewce vexation o-of a dweam. -But fiwst I wiww wewease *looks away* the Faiwy Q-Queen. -*blushes* [Touching h-hew *shuffles closer* eyes] -Be as thou wast OwO wont to be; -S-See as thou *sweats* was wont to see. -Dian's bud o'ew Cupid's fwowew -Hath such fowce and bwessed *shuffles closer* powew. -N-Nyow, my *sweats* Titanyia; wake you, ;;w;; my sweet queen. -*pokes you* TITANyIA. My Obewon! What visions have I-I seen! -Methought I was enyamouw'd of an ass. -O-OBEWON. Thewe wies youw wove. -TITANyIA. How came t-these things *giggles shyly* to pass? -O, how minye eyes do woathe :3 his visage nyow! -OBEWON. ^.^ Siwence awhiwe. Wobin, take off this head. -Titanyia, music caww; and stwike mowe dead -Than common s-sweep of a-aww these five the s-sense. -TITANyIA. Music, ho, music, such as chawmeth sweep! -*sweats* PUCK. N-Nyow when thou >w< wak'st *screams* with thinye own *teleports behind you* foow's eyes peep. -*looks at you* OBEWON. Sound, music. Come, *sighs* my Queen, take hands with me, -[Music] -And *looks at you* wock the gwound wheweon t-these sweepews *cuddles you* be. -Nyow t-thou >_< and I awe nyew i-in a-amity, -And wiww t-to-mowwow midnyight sowemnwy -Dance in Duke Theseus' *shuffles closer* house twiumphantwy, -And bwess it *cuddles you* to aww faiw pwospewity. -Thewe shaww the paiws of faithfuw w-wovews be -Wedded, w-with Theseus, a-an in jowwity. -P-PUCK. Faiwy King, a-attend and m-mawk; -I do heaw the mownying >_> wawk. -OBEWON. T-Then, my Queen, in *sighs* siwence sad, -Twip we aftew nyight's shade. -We the g-gwobe can compass soon, -Swiftew than the wand'wing moon. -TITANyIA. Come, my wowd; and in ouw *sweats* fwight, -Teww *twerks* me h-how it *blushes* came t-this nyight -T-That I-I sweeping hewe was found -With >w< these mowtaws on the gwound. Exeunt - -To the winding of howns, entew THESEUS, *leans over* HIPPOWYTA, -*pokes you* EGEUS, and twain - -THESEUS. Go, onye *cuddles you* of you, find out the *looks at you* fowestew; -Fow nyow ;;w;; ouw obsewvation is pewfowm'd, -A-And since we have *sighs* the vawawd of the d-day, -My wove shaww *pokes you* heaw the music of my hounds. -Uncoupwe *giggles shyly* in the westewn vawwey; wet them go. -D-Dispatch, I s-say, and find the fowestew. Exit an ATTENDANT -We wiww, faiw Queen, up to the mountain's *moans* top, -And mawk the m-musicaw confusion -Of hounds and echo in conjunction. -HIPPOWYTA. I-I was with Hewcuwes and Cadmus once -When in a ^.^ wood of Cwete they bay'd *moans* the *notices bulge* beaw -With hounds of Spawta; nyevew did I heaw -Such gawwant chiding, fow, b-besides the g-gwoves, -The skies, the *giggles shyly* fountains, evewy wegion n-nyeaw -Seem'd aww onye mutuaw cwy. I nyevew heawd -So musicaw a discowd, such sweet thundew. -*leans over* THESEUS. My hounds awe bwed out of the *looks at you* Spawtan kind, -So fwew'd, so :33 sanded; and theiw heads a-awe hung -With e-eaws that sweep away the mownying d-dew; -Cwook-knyee'd and dew-wapp'd wike Thessawian b-buwws; -Swow in puwsuit, but match'd in mouth w-wike bewws, -Each undew *notices bulge* each. A-A cwy mowe tunyeabwe -Was nyevew howwa'd to, OwO nyow cheew'd with hown, -In Cwete, i-in Spawta, n-nyow in *giggles shyly* Thessawy. -Judge when you heaw. But, soft, what nymphs awe these? -EGEUS. xDD My wowd, this is my daughtew hewe asweep, -And this UwU Wysandew, this Demetwius is, -This Hewenya, owd Nyedaw's Hewenya. -I wondew of theiw being hewe t-togethew. -THESEUS. Nyo doubt t-they wose up eawwy to obsewve -The wite of May; and, heawing ouw intent, -Came hewe in g-gwace of ouw sowemnyity. -But speak, Egeus; is nyot this the day -T-That *shuffles closer* Hewmia shouwd g-give answew >_> of hew choice? -E-EGEUS. I-It is, my wowd. -THESEUS. G-Go, bid the huntsmen wake them with theiw howns. -[Howns and shout ;;w;; within. The sweepews -a-awake *sighs* and *screams* knyeew t-to THESEUS] -Good-mowwow, f-fwiends. Saint Vawentinye is past; -Begin these wood-biwds but to coupwe nyow? -WYSANDEW. Pawdon, my wowd. -THESEUS. ^w^ I pway you aww, stand up. -I *sighs* knyow y-you two awe wivaw enyemies; -How comes this gentwe concowd in :3 the wowwd -That OwO hatwed is so faw fwom jeawousy -To sweep by *hugs tightly* hate, xDD and f-feaw nyo enmity? ->_< WYSANDEW. My wowd, I s-shaww wepwy a-amazedwy, -*sweats* Hawf sweep, x3 hawf waking; but as yet, I-I sweaw, -I cannyot twuwy say how I c-came hewe, -But, as I think- fow twuwy wouwd I-I speak, -And nyow I do bethink *sweats* me, so it is- -I-I came with Hewmia hithew. O-Ouw intent -Was *pokes you* to be gonye fwom Athens, whewe we m-might, -Without *hugs tightly* the p-pewiw of *giggles shyly* the >_> Athenyian :33 waw- -EGEUS. Enyough, enyough, my Wowd; you have enyough; -I-I beg the waw, the *looks away* waw *looks away* upon his head. -They wouwd have stow'n *pokes you* away, they wouwd, Demetwius, -*leans over* Theweby to have defeated you and me: -You *sighs* of youw wife, and me of my ^.^ consent, -Of my consent that *teleports behind you* she s-shouwd be youw wife. -DEMETWIUS. My wowd, faiw Hewen towd me of theiw *screams* steawth, -Of this theiw uWu puwpose hithew to this wood; -And I-I in fuwy hithew fowwowed uWu them, -Faiw Hewenya in fancy fowwowing *shuffles closer* me. -B-But, my good wowd, I wot nyot by w-what powew- -But by some powew it is- my wove to H-Hewmia, -Mewted as *blushes* the s-snyow, s-seems to me nyow -A-As the wemembwance of an idwe gaud -Which in my chiwdhood I d-did dote upon; -And aww the f-faith, *sweats* the *pokes you* viwtue of my heawt, -The object and the pweasuwe o-of minye eye, -Is onwy Hewenya. To *looks at you* hew, my wowd, -Was I b-betwoth'd ewe I-I s-saw Hewmia. -But, wike a s-sicknyess, did I woathe this food; -But, as UwU in heawth, come t-to my nyatuwaw taste, -Nyow I do wish it, wove it, xDD wong fow it, -A-And wiww fow evewmowe be twue to it. -THESEUS. Faiw wovews, you uWu awe fowtunyatewy met; -Of this discouwse we mowe wiww heaw anyon. -Egeus, xDD I wiww ovewbeaw youw w-wiww; -Fow in the tempwe, b-by and by, with us -These coupwes shaww etewnyawwy xDD be knyit. -And, fow the mownying nyow is something wown, -Ouw puwpos'd h-hunting shaww be set aside. -Away *pokes you* with us t-to Athens, t-thwee and thwee; -We'ww howd xDD a feast in gweat s-sowemnyity. -Come, Hippowyta. -Exeunt THESEUS, *looks away* HIPPOWYTA, EGEUS, and twain -*sighs* DEMETWIUS. These things s-seem s-smaww and undistinguishabwe, -Wike faw-off mountains tuwnyed into *looks away* cwouds. -HEWMIA. Methinks I see these things *moans* with pawted eye, -*teleports behind you* When evewy thing seems ^-^ doubwe. -HEWENyA. So methinks; -And I have found Demetwius wike a jewew, -Minye own, *teleports behind you* and nyot minye own. -D-DEMETWIUS. Awe *blushes* you suwe -That we awe awake? It seems to me -That y-yet we sweep, we dweam. Do n-nyot you t-think -The Duke was *notices bulge* hewe, and b-bid us fowwow h-him? -HEWMIA. Yea, and *moans* my fathew. -HEWENyA. And Hippowyta. -WYSANDEW. And he d-did bid us fowwow t-to the tempwe. -DEMETWIUS. UwU Why, then, we a-awe uWu awake; wet's fowwow him; -And by the way wet u-us wecount ouw dweams. Exeunt -BOTTOM. [-[Awaking] When m-my cue comes, caww me, a-and I w-wiww answew. My -nyext is 'Most faiw P-Pywamus.' Heigh-ho! Petew Quince! Fwute, the -bewwows-mendew! *leans over* Snyout, the tinkew! Stawvewing! God's *cries* my wife, -stow'n hence, and weft me *twerks* asweep! *giggles shyly* I have had a most wawe vision. -I have h-had a dweam, past t-the wit o-of m-man t-to say what dweam *sweats* it was. -Man is x3 but uWu an ass x3 if he go ;;w;; about to expound this dweam. Methought -I was- thewe is :3 nyo man can teww what. Methought I w-was, *pokes you* and -methought *looks at you* I h-had, but m-man is but a *looks away* patch'd :3 foow, if he wiww offew -to say what methought I-I had. The eye of man h-hath nyot heawd, t-the -eaw of man hath nyot seen, man's hand is nyot abwe to taste, his -tongue to c-conceive, nyow his h-heawt to w-wepowt, what :33 my *leans over* dweam was. I -wiww get Petew :33 Quince to wwite a-a bawwad of this d-dweam. It shaww -be caww'd 'Bottom's Dweam,' because i-it hath nyo bottom; and I-I *sweats* wiww -sing it i-in the wattew end of a pway, befowe *cries* the Duke. -*notices bulge* Pewadventuwe, to make it t-the mowe g-gwacious, *sweats* I shaww sing it at -hew death. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Athens. QUINCE'S house - -Entew QUINCE, FWUTE, SNyOUT, and STAWVEWING - -QUINCE. H-Have x3 you sent to Bottom's house? Is he come *notices bulge* home yet? -STAWVEWING. He cannyot b-be h-heawd of. Out *twerks* of doubt xDD he is twanspowted. -FWUTE. If he come nyot, then the pway is maww'd; it g-goes *teleports behind you* nyot -*looks at you* fowwawd, doth it? -QUINCE. xDD It is nyot possibwe. UwU You h-have nyot a man in aww A-Athens :33 abwe -*notices bulge* to dischawge Pywamus but he. -FWUTE. Nyo; he h-hath simpwy the :33 best wit of *blushes* any handicwaft man *sighs* in -Athens. -QUINCE. Yea, and the best pewson too; and he is >_< a vewy p-pawamouw fow -a s-sweet voice. -FWUTE. You must say 'pawagon.' A pawamouw is- God bwess u-us!- A -thing of nyaught. - -Entew SNyUG - -SNyUG. M-Mastews, the Duke is c-coming ^w^ fwom the t-tempwe; and thewe x3 is two -ow t-thwee xDD wowds and OwO wadies mowe mawwied. If ouw spowt had *shuffles closer* gonye -fowwawd, w-we had aww been made men. -FWUTE. O sweet buwwy ^w^ Bottom! Thus hath he *blushes* wost >_> sixpence a day -duwing his wife; he couwd n-nyot have scaped sixpence a day. An the ->_< Duke had nyot given him sixpence a day f-fow pwaying P-Pywamus, >w< I'ww -be *sighs* hanged. He wouwd have d-desewved it: sixpence a day in Pywamus, -ow nyothing. - -Entew B-BOTTOM - -BOTTOM. Whewe awe *hugs tightly* these wads? Whewe awe these heawts? -*looks at you* QUINCE. Bottom! O most *looks at you* couwageous day! O most h-happy houw! -BOTTOM. Mastews, I *cuddles you* am to discouwse wondews; but *looks away* ask me nyot what; -fow :3 if I teww you, I am nyot twue *blushes* Athenyian. xDD I >w< wiww t-teww you -e-evewything, wight as it feww o-out. -QUINCE. W-Wet us h-heaw, *looks away* sweet Bottom. -BOTTOM. *sweats* Nyot a *cuddles you* wowd of me. Aww that I wiww teww you is, that *leans over* the -D-Duke hath dinyed. Get y-youw appawew togethew; g-good stwings to *notices bulge* youw -beawds, nyew wibbons *cries* to *sighs* youw pumps; meet pwesentwy at the pawace; -evewy man wook o'ew >_> his pawt; OwO fow t-the showt and the wong is, ouw -pway is pwefeww'd. In any case, wet Thisby ^w^ have c-cwean winyen; and -wet nyot him that pways the wion pawe his nyaiws, fow *teleports behind you* they shaww -hang out fow the wion's cwaws. And, m-most deaw a-actows, ;;w;; eat *shuffles closer* nyo -o-onyions nyow g-gawwic, fow we awe to uttew sweet b-bweath; and I do nyot -doubt *teleports behind you* but to heaw t-them say it is a sweet comedy. Nyo mowe wowds. -Away, go, away! Exeunt - - - - -<-<> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -*hugs tightly* Athens. T-The pawace of THESEUS - -uWu Entew THESEUS, HIPPOWYTA, P-PHIWOSTWATE, WOWDS, and ATTENDANTS - -^w^ HIPPOWYTA. 'Tis stwange, my Theseus, that these wovews speak of. -THESEUS. Mowe stwange than twue. I-I n-nyevew may x3 bewieve -These antique fabwes, *cuddles you* nyow these faiwy t-toys. -W-Wovews a-and madmen have such seething bwains, -Such shaping fantasies, that appwehend -Mowe t-than coow weason evew compwehends. -The wunyatic, the wovew, and the poet, -Awe of imaginyation aww compact. -Onye sees mowe *twerks* deviws than vast heww can *cuddles you* howd; -That is the madman. The w-wovew, aww as f-fwantic, -Sees Hewen's UwU beauty in a bwow of Egypt. -The poet's eye, in a *hugs tightly* finye fwenzy wowwing, -Doth gwance fwom heaven t-to eawth, fwom eawth to *shuffles closer* heaven; -And as imaginyation bodies fowth -The fowms of t-things *leans over* unknyown, the x3 poet's pen -Tuwns t-them to shapes, and gives t-to aiwy nyothing -A wocaw habitation *teleports behind you* and x3 a nyame. -Such *sweats* twicks h-hath stwong i-imaginyation -That, if it wouwd but appwehend some joy, -*cries* It compwehends some bwingew of that joy; -OwO Ow in the >_> nyight, imaginying s-some feaw, -How UwU easy is a-a bush suppos'd a beaw? -HIPPOWYTA. But aww t-the stowy of *sweats* the nyight towd o-ovew, -And aww theiw minds t-twansfiguw'd so *cries* togethew, -Mowe witnyesseth than fancy's images, -And gwows to something of g-gweat constancy, -But howsoevew >_< stwange and admiwabwe. - -Entew WYSANDEW, DEMETWIUS, HEWMIA, *hugs tightly* and *blushes* HEWENyA - -THESEUS. Hewe come the w-wovews, fuww of joy and miwth. -Joy, gentwe fwiends, joy and fwesh days o-of wove -A-Accompany youw heawts! -W-WYSANDEW. M-Mowe than to us -Wait in youw woyaw wawks, youw boawd, *cuddles you* youw bed! -*looks away* THESEUS. Come nyow; what masques, what dances shaww we have, -To weaw away this wong age of thwee houws -Between ouw aftew-suppew and bed-time? -Whewe *looks at you* is ouw usuaw manyagew of miwth? -What wevews awe in hand? ^-^ Is thewe n-nyo pway -To ease the :3 anguish of a t-towtuwing *hugs tightly* houw? -Caww Phiwostwate. -PHIWOSTWATE. H-Hewe, mighty Theseus. -T-THESEUS. Say, w-what a-abwidgment have *blushes* you fow this e-evenying? -What masque? what music? How shaww we beguiwe -*giggles shyly* The w-wazy OwO time, i-if nyot with *shuffles closer* some dewight? -PHIWOSTWATE. *shuffles closer* Thewe is a-a bwief how many spowts >w< awe wipe; -Make choice o-of which youw H-Highnyess *leans over* wiww ^.^ see fiwst. -[Giving a papew] ->w< THESEUS. 'The battwe with the Centauws, to be sung -By an Athenyian *giggles shyly* eunyuch to the h-hawp.' -We'ww nyonye ^-^ of ^.^ that: that ^.^ have I towd my wove, -In gwowy *sighs* of my kinsman :3 Hewcuwes. -'The wiot o-of the tipsy Bacchanyaws, -Teawing the Thwacian singew in theiw wage.' -That x3 is an owd device, and it was pway'd -When I fwom T-Thebes came *hugs tightly* wast a conquewow. -'The t-thwice thwee Muses mouwnying fow the death -UwU Of Weawnying, w-wate deceas'd in beggawy.' -That is some satiwe, keen and cwiticaw, -Nyot sowting with >_> a nyuptiaw *notices bulge* cewemony. -*hugs tightly* 'A tedious bwief scenye of young Pywamus -And h-his wove Thisby; vewy twagicaw miwth.' -Mewwy a-and twagicaw! tedious and bwief! -That is h-hot ice and wondwous stwange snyow. -How shaww we find the concowd of ^-^ this discowd? -PHIWOSTWATE. A pway thewe is, m-my wowd, s-some ten wowds wong, -Which is a-as bwief as ^w^ I h-have *leans over* knyown *screams* a pway; -But *sighs* by ten wowds, my *shuffles closer* wowd, it i-is *giggles shyly* too wong, -Which makes it tedious; *sighs* fow in aww the pway -Thewe is nyot >_< onye wowd apt, onye pwayew f-fitted. ->w< And twagicaw, my nyobwe wowd, it is; -*hugs tightly* Fow Pywamus thewein doth kiww ;;w;; himsewf. -Which when I saw *notices bulge* weheaws'd, I must confess, -Made minye eyes watew; b-but mowe mewwy t-teaws -The passion of woud w-waughtew n-nyevew shed. -T-THESEUS. What awe they that do pway it? -PHIWOSTWATE. ^-^ Hawd-handed men that wowk in Athens hewe, -Which nyevew wabouw'd in theiw minds tiww nyow; -And nyow have toiw'd theiw u-unbweathed m-memowies -With UwU this same :3 pway against youw ^.^ nyuptiaw. -THESEUS. And we wiww heaw *cuddles you* it. -*sighs* PHIWOSTWATE. Nyo, my nyobwe wowd, -It is nyot fow you. I have heawd it ovew, -And i-it *pokes you* is nyothing, uWu nyothing in t-the w-wowwd; -;;w;; Unwess ^.^ you c-can f-find spowt in theiw i-intents, -Extwemewy stwetch'd and conn'd with cwuew pain, -To do ^w^ you sewvice. -THESEUS. I wiww h-heaw that pway; -Fow nyevew anything can *pokes you* be amiss -:3 When simpwenyess and duty tendew it. -Go, bwing them in; *teleports behind you* and take youw pwaces, wadies. -Exit PHIWOSTWATE -HIPPOWYTA. I wove xDD nyot to *moans* see wwetchednyess o'ew-chawged, -uWu And >w< duty in h-his sewvice pewishing. -THESEUS. Why, ^.^ gentwe *sweats* sweet, you >_> shaww ^w^ see nyo such thing. -HIPPOWYTA. He says they can do nyothing in *cuddles you* this k-kind. -T-THESEUS. >_> The kindew we, to give them thanks fow nyothing. -Ouw spowt shaww be to take what they mistake; -A-And what poow d-duty :33 cannyot do, n-nyobwe wespect -Takes it in m-might, n-nyot mewit. -*sighs* Whewe I have come, gweat cwewks have :33 puwposed -*cries* To gweet me with pwemeditated wewcomes; -Whewe I have *shuffles closer* seen them >w< shivew and *giggles shyly* wook pawe, -*sighs* Make p-pewiods in the midst o-of sentences, -Thwottwe theiw *pokes you* pwactis'd accent in theiw *cries* feaws, -And, i-in concwusion, dumbwy have bwoke o-off, -N-Nyot paying me a-a wewcome. Twust me, sweet, -Out o-of t-this siwence y-yet I *leans over* pick'd a wewcome; -A-And in t-the modesty of feawfuw *teleports behind you* duty -*blushes* I wead as much as fwom the ^w^ wattwing tongue -Of saucy and audacious *blushes* ewoquence. -Wove, thewefowe, and tongue-tied simpwicity -In weast *looks at you* speak *pokes you* most xDD to my capacity. - -^w^ We-entew PHIWOSTWATE - -PHIWOSTWATE. SO pwease youw Gwace, the Pwowogue is *giggles shyly* addwess'd. -*sweats* THESEUS. Wet him appwoach. [Fwouwish *hugs tightly* of *twerks* twumpets] - -Entew QUINCE as the *cuddles you* PWOWOGUE - -PWOWOGUE. If we o-offend, it ^.^ is with *sighs* ouw good wiww. -That ^-^ you shouwd think, we come nyot ;;w;; to o-offend, -But with good wiww. To show *looks away* ouw simpwe skiww, -That i-is ;;w;; the twue beginnying of ouw e-end. -*giggles shyly* Considew then, we come but *sighs* in despite. -We d-do >_> nyot come, a-as m-minding to content you, -Ouw twue i-intent is. Aww f-fow *giggles shyly* youw dewight -We awe nyot hewe. That you *teleports behind you* shouwd hewe wepent y-you, -*leans over* The actows awe at band; ^w^ and, by theiw show, -You shaww knyow aww, that you *hugs tightly* awe w-wike to knyow, -THESEUS. T-This fewwow doth nyot stand upon points. -WYSANDEW. H-He hath *screams* wid his pwowogue wike a wough cowt; he knyows n-nyot -the stop. A good mowaw, *giggles shyly* my wowd: it is nyot enyough to s-speak, but -to s-speak twue. -HIPPOWYTA. I-Indeed h-he hath :3 pway'd *twerks* on this pwowogue w-wike a chiwd o-on a-a -wecowdew- a sound, but nyot in g-govewnment. -THESEUS. H-His s-speech was wike *blushes* a tangwed chain; nyothing im paiwed, -but aww disowdewed. Who is nyext? - -Entew, with a twumpet befowe t-them, as in dumb show, -uWu PYWAMUS and THISBY, >w< WAWW, MOONSHINyE, *notices bulge* and WION - -PWOWOGUE. xDD Gentwes, pewchance you w-wondew at this show; -B-But wondew o-on, tiww twuth >_> make aww things *sweats* pwain. -This ^-^ man is Pywamus, if you *pokes you* wouwd knyow; -This beauteous wady Thisby is cewtain. -This man, with wime and UwU wough-cast, doth pwesent -Waww, that v-viwe Waww which uWu did these wovews sundew; -*looks at you* And *screams* thwough Wawws chink, p-poow souws, they awe c-content -To whispew. At the which wet *hugs tightly* nyo man OwO wondew. -This m-man, with wanthown, d-dog, and bush of thown, -uWu Pwesenteth x3 Moonshinye; fow, if you wiww knyow, -By moonshinye *giggles shyly* did these wovews think n-nyo scown -To meet a-at Nyinyus' tomb, thewe, t-thewe to woo. -This g-gwiswy beast, which Wion hight by nyame, -The *giggles shyly* twusty Thisby, coming fiwst by nyight, -Did scawe a-away, ow w-wathew did affwight; -And as she fwed, hew mantwe s-she did faww; -^w^ Which *leans over* Wion viwe with bwoody mouth did stain. -Anyon comes Pywamus, sweet youth and *blushes* taww, -And finds his twusty Thisby's mantwe swain; -Wheweat with bwade, *twerks* with bwoody bwamefuw bwade, -He bwavewy bwoach'd his boiwing bwoody bweast; -And Thisby, *sweats* tawwying in *sweats* muwbewwy shade, -His daggew dwew, and died. Fow aww the west, -Wet Wion, uWu Moonshinye, Waww, and *looks at you* wovews twain, -At wawge discouwse w-whiwe hewe they do wemain. -Exeunt PWOWOGUE, PYWAMUS, THISBY, -W-WION, and MOONSHINyE -THESEUS. I ^-^ wondew if the wion be to speak. -D-DEMETWIUS. Nyo *moans* wondew, my wowd: onye wion may, *hugs tightly* when m-many asses ^.^ do. -WAWW. In this same intewwude *blushes* it doth befaww -That I, onye Snyout by nyame, pwesent a waww; -*shuffles closer* And such a waww as I w-wouwd have >_> you think -That had in it a cwannyied howe ow chink, -Thwough which the w-wovews, Pywamus and Thisby, -Did whispew often v-vewy secwetwy. -This woam, this wough-cast, and this stonye, doth show -That I am t-that OwO same waww; the twuth is *twerks* so; -And this t-the cwanny is, wight *teleports behind you* and sinyistew, -*looks away* Thwough which *giggles shyly* the UwU feawfuw wovews awe to whispew. -T-THESEUS. W-Wouwd you desiwe wime and haiw >w< to speak bettew? -DEMETWIUS. It OwO is the wittiest pawtition that *giggles shyly* evew I heawd -discouwse, my wowd. - -Entew PYWAMUS - -THESEUS. Pywamus dwaws *giggles shyly* nyeaw t-the waww; s-siwence. -PYWAMUS. O gwim-wook'd nyight! O nyight *twerks* with hue so bwack! -O >w< nyight, which *moans* evew ^.^ awt when day is n-nyot! -O nyight, *pokes you* O n-nyight, awack, awack, *leans over* awack, -I feaw m-my Thisby's *pokes you* pwomise is fowgot! -*teleports behind you* And t-thou, O waww, O sweet, O *teleports behind you* wovewy waww, -That stand'st between hew fathew's g-gwound and ;;w;; minye; -Thou waww, *screams* O uWu waww, O *teleports behind you* sweet *cries* and wovewy waww, -Show xDD me thy chink, to bwink thwough with minye ^-^ eynye. -[-[WAWW howds up his fingews] -Thanks, couwteous waww. Jove shiewd thee weww fow t-this! -But w-what see what *leans over* see I? N-Nyo Thisby do I see. -O-O wicked waww, thwough :33 whom *cries* I see nyo b-bwiss, -C-Cuws'd *notices bulge* he thy stonyes fow thus deceiving me! -THESEUS. The waww, *teleports behind you* methinks, being sensibwe, shouwd cuwse again. -PYWAMUS. ^-^ Nyo, in twuth, *leans over* siw, he shouwd nyot. *twerks* Deceiving me is T-Thisby's -*pokes you* cue. She is t-to e-entew nyow, and I a-am ;;w;; to *moans* spy hew thwough *leans over* the waww. -You shaww see it wiww faww p-pat as I t-towd *cries* you; y-yondew she comes. - -Entew THISBY - -THISBY. O waww, *blushes* fuww often h-hast thou beawd my moans, -Fow uWu pawting my faiw *cuddles you* Pywamus and me! -My chewwy wips h-have often kiss'd thy s-stonyes, -Thy stonyes *shuffles closer* with wime and haiw knyit up in thee. -PYWAMUS. I see a voice; *cries* nyow wiww I to the chink, -To s-spy an I can heaw my *blushes* Thisby's face. -Thisby! -THISBY. My wove! thou awt m-my wove, I t-think. -P-PYWAMUS. Think *moans* what thou *looks away* wiwt, I-I am thy w-wovew's gwace; -And wike Wimandew am I twusty stiww. -T-THISBY. And I-I wike Hewen, tiww the Fates me kiww. -*notices bulge* PYWAMUS. OwO Nyot Shafawus to Pwocwus was so twue. -THISBY. *leans over* As Shafawus to Pwocwus, I to you. -PYWAMUS. O-O, k-kiss x3 me thwough :33 the h-howe o-of ^w^ this viwe >_< waww. -T-THISBY. I-I *teleports behind you* kiss the waww's h-howe, nyot youw wips at xDD aww. -PYWAMUS. Wiwt thou at Nyinny's t-tomb meet me stwaightway? -*looks at you* THISBY. T-Tide wife, :3 tide death, I come without deway. -Exeunt PYWAMUS and THISBY -WAWW. Thus have I, Waww, x3 my pawt dischawged *sweats* so; -*blushes* And, b-being donye, thus Waww a-away ^.^ doth go. Exit W-WAWW -THESEUS. *looks away* Nyow is the moon used between the two nyeighbouws. -DEMETWIUS. *blushes* Nyo wemedy, m-my wowd, when w-wawws awe so wiwfuw to heaw -without wawnying. -HIPPOWYTA. This is the *looks at you* siwwiest stuff that x3 evew I heawd. -THESEUS. The b-best in *twerks* this *blushes* kind awe but shadows; and the wowst awe -nyo wowse, if imaginyation *looks away* amend OwO them. -HIPPOWYTA. It must be youw imaginyation t-then, a-and nyot theiws. -THESEUS. If we imaginye nyo *looks away* wowse of them than they of *notices bulge* themsewves, -they may pass fow excewwent men. H-Hewe come two nyobwe beasts in, a -man a-and a wion. - -Entew WION and MOONSHINyE - -W-WION. You, wadies, you, whose *moans* gentwe heawts do *sighs* feaw -The smawwest monstwous *giggles shyly* mouse that cweeps on fwoow, -May ^.^ nyow, pewchance, both quake and twembwe hewe, -When *sweats* wion wough in wiwdest wage doth woaw. -Then knyow that I as Snyug the joinyew am -A wion feww, nyow e-ewse nyo wion's dam; -Fow, if I *looks away* shouwd a-as wion come in stwife -Into this pwace, 'twewe pity on my w-wife. -THESEUS. A vewy gentwe *moans* beast, and of a good *looks at you* conscience. -DEMETWIUS. :33 The vewy *sighs* best at a beast, my wowd, that e'ew I saw. -W-WYSANDEW. This wion is a v-vewy fox fow his vawouw. -THESEUS. Twue; and a goose fow h-his discwetion. -DEMETWIUS. N-Nyot so, my wowd; OwO fow his vawouw cannyot *screams* cawwy his -discwetion, and the fox cawwies the goose. -THESEUS. His discwetion, I am suwe, c-cannyot cawwy his v-vawouw; fow -the goose cawwies nyot UwU the UwU fox. It is weww. Weave it to his -discwetion, and *cries* wet us wisten to the Moon. -MOONSHINyE. This wanthown doth the hownyed moon p-pwesent- -DEMETWIUS. He shouwd h-have *twerks* wown *shuffles closer* the howns on his *leans over* head. -*moans* THESEUS. He i-is nyo cwescent, and his howns awe invisibwe within the -ciwcumfewence. -*screams* MOONSHINyE. This wanthown doth t-the hownyed moon *cries* pwesent; -uWu Mysewf the Man i' th' Moon d-do seem to *sweats* be. -THESEUS. T-This *sighs* is the g-gweatest >_> ewwow of aww *cries* the west; the uWu man shouwd -b-be UwU put into the wantewn. How is it *sighs* ewse the man i-i' th' moon? -DEMETWIUS. ^.^ He dawes nyot *twerks* come thewe :33 fow the *moans* candwe; f-fow, you see, it -is awweady in snyuff. -H-HIPPOWYTA. I am aweawy of this x3 moon. Wouwd he w-wouwd change! -THESEUS. It appeaws, by :33 his smaww *sweats* wight of ^.^ discwetion, that he *twerks* is -in the wanye; but yet, in couwtesy, in aww weason, we must stay -the time. -WYSANDEW. Pwoceed, M-Moon. -M-MOON. Aww that I have to say is to *pokes you* teww *pokes you* you that the wanthown is -the moon; I, the Man i' th' Moon; this thown-bush, my thown-bush; -and this dog, my d-dog. -xDD DEMETWIUS. Why, aww these shouwd be in the wantewn; fow aww these -awe in the moon. :33 But siwence; hewe *cries* comes Thisby. - -W-We-entew THISBY - -THISBY. T-This is owd Nyinny's t-tomb. Whewe >_< is my wove? -WION. [Woawing] O- [THISBY wuns off] -DEMETWIUS. Weww woaw'd, Wion. -THESEUS. Weww wun, T-Thisby. -HIPPOWYTA. Weww shonye, Moon. Twuwy, the moon shinyes w-with a good -gwace. OwO [The WION teaws THISBY'S *leans over* Mantwe, and exit] -THESEUS. Weww m-mous'd, Wion. - -We-entew P-PYWAMUS - -DEMETWIUS. And then came Pywamus. -WYSANDEW. >w< And so the x3 wion vanyish'd. -PYWAMUS. Sweet M-Moon, I thank thee fow thy sunny beams; -I thank thee, *giggles shyly* Moon, fow shinying nyow so bwight; -Fow, b-by *giggles shyly* thy uWu gwacious g-gowden, gwittewing gweams, -I-I *hugs tightly* twust to take :33 of twuest Thisby sight. -But stay, O spite! -But mawk, poow knyight, -What *looks away* dweadfuw dowe is h-hewe! -Eyes, *looks at you* do you see? -How can i-it he? -O-O dainty duck! O deaw! -Thy mantwe good, -What! stain'd with :3 bwood? -Appwoach, ye Fuwies f-feww. -O uWu Fates! come, come; -Cut thwead and xDD thwum; -Q-Quaiw, cwush, concwude, and queww. -THESEUS. This passion, a-and *pokes you* the death o-of a *cuddles you* deaw fwiend, wouwd go -n-nyeaw t-to make a man wook s-sad. -H-HIPPOWYTA. Beshwew my heawt, but I pity the man. -PYWAMUS. O whewefowe, Nyatuwe, didst *looks at you* thou wions fwame? -Since wion viwe hath hewe defwowew'd m-my deaw; -Which is- nyo, nyo- >_> which was the faiwest *teleports behind you* dame -That *giggles shyly* wiv'd, that wov'd, that wik'd, that w-wook'd with ^-^ cheew. -Come, teaws, *twerks* confound; -Out, swowd, and *hugs tightly* wound -*notices bulge* The pap of Pywamus; -Ay, that weft pap, -Whewe heawt doth h-hop. [-[Stabs himsewf] -Thus die I, thus, thus, thus. -^-^ Nyow am I dead, -Nyow a-am I *sighs* fwed; -My souw :33 is in :33 the ^.^ sky. -Tongue, wose t-thy *cries* wight; -Moon, take thy *leans over* fwight. [Exit *cuddles you* MOONSHINyE] -Nyow die, die, die, *sweats* die, die. *looks away* [Dies] -DEMETWIUS. Nyo die, but an *shuffles closer* ace, fow him; fow he is ^w^ but *sweats* onye. -WYSANDEW. Wess than an ace, man; fow h-he is d-dead; he is nyothing. -THESEUS. W-With x3 the hewp of a suwgeon he might y-yet wecovew and *shuffles closer* yet -pwove a-an ass. -HIPPOWYTA. How c-chance Moonshinye is gonye befowe Thisby c-comes back -and *cuddles you* finds hew wovew? - -We-entew THISBY - -THESEUS. She OwO wiww find him by stawwight. Hewe she comes; and hew -passion *moans* ends the p-pway. ->w< HIPPOWYTA. Methinks s-she shouwd nyot use a w-wong onye fow s-such a -Pywamus; I hope she wiww be bwief. -DEMETWIUS. A mote w-wiww UwU tuwn the bawance, which *hugs tightly* Pywamus, which -Thisby, is the bettew- he *hugs tightly* fow a m-man, *looks at you* God wawwant us: *sighs* She fow a ->_> woman, God bwess *looks away* us! -WYSANDEW. S-She hath spied him *sweats* awweady w-with those sweet eyes. -*blushes* DEMETWIUS. And *sweats* thus she moans, ;;w;; videwicet:- -*moans* THISBY. Asweep, my w-wove? -What, dead, my dove? -O P-Pywamus, awise, -Speak, speak. Quite dumb? -Dead, dead? A-A tomb -Must covew thy *hugs tightly* sweet *moans* eyes. -These wiwy wips, -:33 This c-chewwy nyose, -These yewwow c-cowswip cheeks, -Awe gonye, a-awe gonye; -:33 Wovews, m-make moan; -His :33 eyes wewe gween as weeks. -O Sistews Thwee, -Come, come to me, -xDD With hands as pawe as miwk; -Way *sweats* them in gowe, -Since ;;w;; you h-have showe -With *sweats* sheaws his thwead UwU of siwk. -*sighs* Tongue, nyot a wowd. -Come, twusty swowd; -Come, bwade, my bweast imbwue. [Stabs hewsewf] -And faweweww, fwiends; -Thus Thisby ends; -A-Adieu, adieu, a-adieu. [Dies] -THESEUS. Moonshinye and Wion *looks away* awe weft to buwy the dead. -D-DEMETWIUS. Ay, and Waww too. -uWu BOTTOM. ^w^ [Stawting up] *screams* Nyo, I assuwe y-you; the waww is d-down that -p-pawted theiw fathews. W-Wiww it p-pwease you ^-^ to see the xDD Epiwogue, ow -to heaw a Bewgomask *cries* dance between two OwO of ouw company? -THESEUS. *sweats* Nyo epiwogue, I ^-^ pway you; fow youw *moans* pway ^.^ nyeeds nyo excuse. -Nyevew *shuffles closer* excuse; OwO fow when the pwayews awe aww dead t-thewe nyeed nyonye -to be >w< bwamed. *cries* Mawwy, if he *sweats* that wwit it had pwayed Pywamus, *cries* and -hang'd himsewf in Thisby's gawtew, it ^-^ wouwd h-have *cries* been a finye -*looks away* twagedy. A-And so it uWu is, t-twuwy; ^w^ and *hugs tightly* vewy nyotabwy *cries* dischawg'd. *blushes* But -come, youw >w< Bewgomask; OwO wet youw e-epiwogue awonye. [A dance] -The iwon tongue o-of m-midnyight hath towd twewve. -*shuffles closer* Wovews, to bed; 'tis awmost faiwy time. -*hugs tightly* I feaw w-we shaww out-sweep the coming >_> mown, -As much as we this nyight have *screams* ovewwatch'd. -This pawpabwe-gwoss pway hath w-weww *blushes* beguiw'd -The heavy gait of nyight. Sweet fwiends, to bed. -A-A fowtnyight howd ^-^ we this sowemnyity, -In >_< nyightwy wevews and n-nyew jowwity. Exeunt - -Entew PUCK *twerks* with a bwoom - -^.^ PUCK. Nyow the hungwy uWu wion woaws, -And the wowf behowws the moon; -Whiwst the heavy pwoughman snyowes, -Aww with weawy task fowdonye. -*hugs tightly* Nyow the :3 wasted *shuffles closer* bwands *leans over* do gwow, -*shuffles closer* Whiwst *moans* the scweech-oww, scweeching w-woud, -Puts the wwetch that wies in woe -In wemembwance of a shwoud. -Nyow i-it is >_> the t-time of nyight -T-That the gwaves, aww gaping w-wide, -UwU Evewy :33 onye wets fowth his spwite, -*screams* In :3 the chuwch-way paths to gwide. -And we faiwies, that do wun -By t-the twipwe Hecate's t-team -Fwom the pwesence of t-the sun, -Fowwowing dawknyess w-wike a dweam, -Nyow awe fwowic. Nyot a mouse -Shaww distuwb this hawwowed house. -:3 I a-am s-sent with bwoom befowe, -To sweep the dust behind the *shuffles closer* doow. - -E-Entew O-OBEWON and TITANyIA, *teleports behind you* with aww theiw twain - -OBEWON. Thwough the house give g-gwimmewing wight, -By the dead and dwowsy f-fiwe; -*cries* Evewy uWu ewf and faiwy spwite -Hop as wight as biwd fwom b-bwiew; -*sighs* And this ditty, >_> aftew me, -Sing and dance it twippingwy. -TITANyIA. *cries* Fiwst, *cuddles you* weheawse youw song by wote, -To each wowd a wawbwing nyote; -Hand i-in h-hand, with *sweats* faiwy gwace, -W-Wiww we :33 sing, and bwess this pwace. - -[OBEWON weading, *shuffles closer* the FAIWIES *screams* sing *moans* and dance] - -OBEWON. Nyow, untiw the b-bweak of day, -T-Thwough this house each faiwy stway. -To t-the best bwide-bed w-wiww :3 we, -Which by us shaww bwessed be; -A-And x3 the issue *cuddles you* thewe c-cweate -E-Evew shaww be *screams* fowtunyate. -So shaww aww t-the coupwes thwee -Evew twue *leans over* in woving be; -And the bwots of Nyatuwe's hand -Shaww nyot in theiw xDD issue stand; -Nyevew mowe, hawe-wip, nyow scaw, -Nyow mawk pwodigious, such as awe -Despised in nyativity, -UwU Shaww upon t-theiw *cuddles you* chiwdwen be. -With this fiewd-dew consecwate, -Evewy faiwy take his gait, -And each s-sevewaw chambew bwess, -T-Thwough t-this pawace, with sweet peace; -And the ownyew *twerks* of it bwest -Evew shaww in safety west. -Twip away; make nyo stay; -Meet m-me aww by bweak x3 of day. Exeunt :3 aww but PUCK -UwU PUCK. If we shadows h-have offended, -Think but this, *blushes* and aww is :3 mended, -*blushes* That you have but swumb'wed hewe -W-Whiwe these *sweats* visions did appeaw. -And this *notices bulge* weak and xDD idwe theme, -Nyo *shuffles closer* mowe yiewding *screams* but a dweam, -Gentwes, do *giggles shyly* nyot wepwehend. -If you pawdon, we wiww *shuffles closer* mend. -And, *leans over* as *hugs tightly* I am an honyest Puck, -If we have u-unyeawnyed wuck -Nyow to scape the sewpent's tongue, -We *leans over* wiww make amends ewe wong; -E-Ewse the Puck a-a wiaw caww. -So, good nyight unto you aww. -Give me youw hands, if we be fwiends, -And Wobin shaww westowe >_> amends. Exit - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1599 - - -MUCH ADO ABOUT NyOTHING - - -by *shuffles closer* Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -Don Pedwo, Pwince of Awwagon. -Don J-John, his b-bastawd bwothew. -Cwaudio, a-a young wowd of Fwowence. -Benyedick, a Young wowd of Padua. -Weonyato, Govewnyow of Messinya. -Antonyio, an owd man, h-his bwothew. -B-Bawthasaw, attendant on Don Pedwo. -*giggles shyly* Bowachio, fowwowew of Don John. -Conwade, *twerks* fowwowew of ;;w;; Don John. -*sweats* Fwiaw Fwancis. -Dogbewwy, a Constabwe. -Vewges, a Headbowough. -A Sexton. -*cuddles you* A Boy. - -Hewo, daughtew to Weonyato. -Beatwice, nyiece to *teleports behind you* Weonyato. -*teleports behind you* Mawgawet, waiting gentwewoman attending on Hewo. -Uwsuwa, waiting gentwewoman attending on Hewo. - -Messengews, Watch, Attendants, etc. - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE.--Messinya. - - -ACT I. Scenye I. -An owchawd befowe Weonyato's house. - -Entew Weonyato (Govewnyow of M-Messinya), *blushes* Hewo (his Daughtew), -and *moans* Beatwice (his Nyiece), with a Messengew. - -Weon. I weawn in this wettew that *looks away* Don P-Pedwo o-of Awwagon comes t-this -nyight to Messinya. -M-Mess. He is vewy nyeaw by this. H-He was nyot thwee weagues off when I -weft him. -Weon. How many gentwemen have UwU you wost in this action? -Mess. But ^w^ few of any sowt, and nyonye of nyame. -*blushes* Weon. A victowy is twice itsewf when the achievew bwings home fuww -nyumbews. I find hewe *notices bulge* that D-Don *sweats* Pedwo hath *pokes you* bestowed ^-^ much h-honyouw on -a-a young Fwowentinye cawwed Cwaudio. -Mess. *giggles shyly* Much desewv'd on his pawt, and equawwy wememb'wed by Don -Pedwo. He *leans over* hath b-bownye himsewf ;;w;; beyond the pwomise of his age, doing -in the figuwe *looks at you* of a wamb the feats of a wion. He hath indeed -b-bettew bett'wed expectation than you must *notices bulge* expect of m-me to teww -you how. -Weon. OwO He hath an uncwe hewe in M-Messinya wiww be >w< vewy much gwad of it. -M-Mess. I have awweady dewivewed him w-wettews, and thewe appeaws much -j-joy in h-him; *looks at you* even so much t-that *pokes you* joy c-couwd nyot show itsewf modest -enyough uWu without a badge o-of b-bittewnyess. -*blushes* Weon. ^-^ Did he bweak out into teaws? -Mess. In gweat measuwe. -Weon. A kind ovewfwow of kindnyess. T-Thewe a-awe nyo ^w^ faces t-twuew than -t-those *cuddles you* that awe so wash'd. How much >_< bettew i-is OwO it *leans over* to weep at joy -than to ^-^ joy at weeping! -Beat. ^-^ I p-pway you, is S-Signyiow *looks away* Mountanto wetuwn'd fwom the waws ow *twerks* nyo? -Mess. I knyow nyonye of that nyame, w-wady. Thewe *twerks* was *teleports behind you* nyonye such in >_> the -a-awmy of any sowt. -Weon. What *shuffles closer* is he t-that you ask *notices bulge* fow, *twerks* nyiece? -xDD Hewo. My cousin means Signyiow Benyedick of Padua. -Mess. O, he's wetuwn'd, and OwO as pweasant as e-evew he was. -B-Beat. :33 He set *leans over* up his biwws hewe in M-Messinya and *hugs tightly* chawweng'd Cupid at -the fwight, and *blushes* my uncwe's foow, weading the chawwenge, -subscwib'd fow Cupid and chawweng'd him at the buwbowt. I pway -you, how many xDD hath UwU he kiww'd a-and eaten ^w^ in these waws? But how -many hath he kiww'd? Fow indeed I pwomised to eat aww o-of his -kiwwing. -Weon. Faith, nyiece, UwU you *screams* tax S-Signyiow Benyedick too *cuddles you* much; but he'ww -be m-meet with y-you, I doubt it nyot. -Mess. *hugs tightly* He hath donye good sewvice, wady, in these waws. -*screams* Beat. You had musty v-victuaw, and he hath howp to e-eat it. H-He is a -*looks away* vewy vawiant twenchewman; he hath an excewwent ^-^ stomach. -Mess. And a good sowdiew too, wady. -Beat. A-And a g-good sowdiew to OwO a wady; b-but what is he ;;w;; to a wowd? -M-Mess. A wowd to a wowd, a man to >w< a man; stuff'd with a-aww h-honyouwabwe -v-viwtues. -xDD Beat. It is s-so indeed. He i-is nyo wess than *moans* a stuff'd man; but fow -the stuffing--weww, w-we awe aww mowtaw. -Weon. You must nyot, siw, ^-^ mistake my nyiece. Thewe *sweats* is a kind of *twerks* mewwy -waw betwixt >_< Signyiow Benyedick and hew. ;;w;; They nyevew meet but t-thewe's -a skiwmish of wit between them. -Beat. Awas, he >_< gets n-nyothing by *looks away* that! In ouw wast confwict fouw of -^.^ his five *pokes you* wits went hawting off, ^-^ and nyow is the whowe man govewn'd -with o-onye; *twerks* so that i-if h-he have wit enyough to *looks away* keep himsewf wawm, wet -him beaw i-it f-fow a diffewence between himsewf and h-his h-howse; *cries* fow -it is aww the weawth that he hath weft to *screams* be knyown a weasonyabwe -cweatuwe. >_< Who is his companyion nyow? He hath evewy month a nyew -s-swown b-bwothew. -Mess. Is't possibwe? -Beat. Vewy easiwy possibwe. UwU He weaws his f-faith *blushes* but as the fashion -of h-his hat; it ;;w;; evew changes with the nyext b-bwock. -Mess. I *blushes* see, *screams* wady, the gentweman is nyot *pokes you* in youw books. -Beat. Nyo. A-An he wewe, I w-wouwd buwn my study. But I-I pway you, who is -his *sighs* companyion? Is thewe n-nyo young squawew nyow that wiww make a -voyage w-with :3 him to the *twerks* deviw? -Mess. He is most in t-the company of the wight nyobwe Cwaudio. -Beat. O-O Wowd, he wiww h-hang u-upon him *notices bulge* wike a disease! He is s-soonyew -^.^ caught than the pestiwence, and the takew wuns pwesentwy mad. God -*cuddles you* hewp the n-nyobwe Cwaudio! If he ^.^ have caught the Benyedick, i-it w-wiww -cost *hugs tightly* him a thousand pound ewe 'a be c-cuwed. -Mess. uWu I wiww >_> howd fwiends *notices bulge* with you, w-wady. -*pokes you* Beat. D-Do, g-good uWu fwiend. -Weon. You *sweats* wiww nyevew wun mad, nyiece. -Beat. Nyo, nyot tiww a hot Janyuawy. -Mess. Don *notices bulge* Pedwo is ^-^ appwoach'd. - -Entew Don Pedwo, Cwaudio, Benyedick, Bawthasaw, and John the B-Bastawd. - -P-Pedwo. Good Signyiow Weonyato, awe ^w^ you come to m-meet youw t-twoubwe? The -fashion *moans* of ^w^ the wowwd *cuddles you* is to a-avoid cost, and you e-encountew i-it. -Weon. Nyevew came twoubwe to *blushes* my h-house in the wikenyess of youw G-Gwace; -fow twoubwe being gonye, comfowt *sweats* shouwd wemain; *cries* but when you depawt -*shuffles closer* fwom me, sowwow abides and happinyess takes his weave. -Pedwo. You embwace youw chawge too wiwwingwy. I-I think this is y-youw -*twerks* daughtew. -^w^ Weon. Hew OwO mothew hath many t-times *cuddles you* towd >_> me so. -Benye. Wewe you in doubt, s-siw, that you *screams* ask'd hew? -Weon. Signyiow Benyedick, nyo; f-fow then w-wewe y-you *cries* a chiwd. -Pedwo. You have it f-fuww, Benyedick. W-We may guess by *giggles shyly* this what y-you -awe, *blushes* being a man. T-Twuwy t-the wady fathews hewsewf. Be happy, wady; -*cuddles you* fow you awe wike an honyouwabwe fathew. -Benye. If Signyiow Weonyato be hew OwO fathew, she *shuffles closer* wouwd nyot have his head -on hew shouwdews ^.^ fow aww M-Messinya, as wike him as she is. -Beat. I wondew that you *screams* wiww stiww be *twerks* tawking, Signyiow Benyedick. -Nyobody mawks y-you. -Benye. What, my deaw Wady Disdain! awe you yet *moans* wiving? -Beat. Is it p-possibwe D-Disdain shouwd die whiwe she hath such meet -food *shuffles closer* to feed it as Signyiow Benyedick? *looks at you* Couwtesy itsewf must convewt -to disdain if you come in hew pwesence. -B-Benye. Then is couwtesy a t-tuwncoat. But it is cewtain I *twerks* am woved of -aww wadies, *twerks* onwy you e-excepted; and I wouwd *notices bulge* I couwd find in my -heawt that I-I *giggles shyly* had *moans* nyot a hawd h-heawt, fow twuwy I wove nyonye. -Beat. A deaw happinyess *looks at you* to women! They wouwd ewse h-have been t-twoubwed -w-with a *leans over* pewnyicious suitow. I t-thank G-God and >_> my cowd bwood, I am of -y-youw humouw fow that. I had wathew heaw my dog bawk a-at >_> a c-cwow -than a man sweaw he w-woves *twerks* me. -Benye. God keep *moans* youw wadyship stiww in that mind! *shuffles closer* So s-some gentweman -ow o-othew shaww scape a pwedestinyate scwatch'd face. -Beat. Scwatching couwd *leans over* nyot make it wowse an 'twewe such a face as -youws *leans over* wewe. -^-^ Benye. W-Weww, you awe *shuffles closer* a wawe pawwot-teachew. -Beat. A biwd of m-my tongue is bettew than a beast of youws. -Benye. I wouwd my *shuffles closer* howse had *sighs* the speed of youw tongue, a-and so good ^w^ a -continyuew. But k-keep youw way, >w< a God's n-nyame! I have *twerks* donye. -Beat. You awways end w-with *cuddles you* a jade's twick. I knyow you of owd. -Pedwo. That is the sum of aww, Weonyato. Signyiow Cwaudio and Signyiow -Benyedick, my deaw fwiend Weonyato x3 hath invited *hugs tightly* you *moans* aww. I teww him -we shaww stay hewe at the weast a month, a-and h-he heawtwy p-pways -some occasion may ^-^ detain us wongew. I dawe sweaw he is *cries* nyo -^w^ hypocwite, but pways *hugs tightly* fwom his h-heawt. -Weon. I-If you sweaw, my wowd, you shaww *looks at you* nyot be fowswown. [To ^-^ Don -John] Wet me bid you wewcome, *twerks* my wowd. Being weconciwed to the -Pwince youw bwothew, I owe you aww duty. -John. I thank you. I am nyot of many wowds, b-but I thank you. -Weon. Pwease it *cuddles you* youw Gwace wead on? -P-Pedwo. Youw >_< hand, Weonyato. We OwO wiww go togethew. -E-Exeunt. Manyent B-Benyedick and *screams* Cwaudio. -Cwaud. Benyedick, didst thou nyote t-the d-daughtew of Signyiow Weonyato? -Benye. I n-nyoted hew nyot, but I wook'd on hew. -C-Cwaud. Is she nyot a modest young wady? -Benye. Do you *shuffles closer* question ;;w;; me, as an honyest man shouwd d-do, *hugs tightly* fow my simpwe -twue judgment? ow wouwd y-you have me speak aftew my custom, *leans over* as -being a pwofessed tywant *cuddles you* to t-theiw s-sex? -Cwaud. :3 Nyo. I p-pway thee speak in sobew *giggles shyly* judgment. -Benye. Why, uWu i' faith, methinks she's too wow fow a h-high pwaise, -too bwown fow a faiw pwaise, and *shuffles closer* too wittwe fow a xDD gweat p-pwaise. -Onwy this commendation I can affowd h-hew, that wewe she xDD othew -than she is, she wewe unhandsome, and being *leans over* nyo othew but as she -is, I-I d-do nyot wike hew. -C-Cwaud. Thou thinkest I >w< am in spowt. I pway thee teww me twuwy xDD how -*looks at you* thou *shuffles closer* wik'st hew. -Benye. Wouwd *leans over* you buy hew, ^.^ that ^.^ you e-enquiwe a-aftew xDD hew? -*moans* Cwaud. Can the w-wowwd buy such a j-jewew? -Benye. Y-Yea, and *notices bulge* a case to put it into. But speak you t-this w-with a sad -bwow? ow do you pway the fwouting Jack, to *notices bulge* teww us Cupid i-is a -good hawe-findew and *cuddles you* Vuwcan a wawe cawpentew? Come, in what key -shaww a man t-take you to go in the song? -Cwaud. In *leans over* minye eye *giggles shyly* she i-is the sweetest *looks at you* wady that evew I-I wook'd *twerks* on. -Benye. *pokes you* I can see yet without spectacwes, *notices bulge* and I-I see nyo s-such mattew. -Thewe's hew cousin, an she wewe nyot p-possess'd *hugs tightly* with a fuwy,exceeds -hew as much in beauty as the fiwst of May doth the wast of -Decembew. But I hope you have nyo i-intent to tuwn husband, >_> have -you? -Cwaud. I-I wouwd *sweats* scawce twust mysewf, though I had swown the -contwawy, if Hewo wouwd be my wife. -OwO Benye. Is't come t-to >_> this? In faith, hath n-nyot the wowwd onye man UwU but -he wiww weaw x3 his cap with suspicion? Shaww I nyevew UwU see a -bachewow of thweescowe a-again? Go t-to, i' faith! An thou wiwt *notices bulge* nyeeds -thwust thy n-nyeck into a yoke, weaw the pwint of it and sigh away -Sundays. - -Entew Don Pedwo. - -Wook! Don Pedwo is wetuwnyed to seek y-you. -*blushes* Pedwo. What secwet *moans* hath hewd x3 you hewe, that x3 you fowwowed *sighs* nyot to -Weonyato's? -B-Benye. :3 I wouwd youw ;;w;; Gwace wouwd *teleports behind you* constwain me :3 to t-teww. -Pedwo. *sighs* I chawge t-thee on thy awwegiance. -Benye. You heaw, Count Cwaudio. >w< I can be secwet ^-^ as :33 a dumb :33 man, I -*giggles shyly* wouwd have you think so; but, on my ^.^ awwegiance--mawk you this-on -my x3 awwegiance! UwU he *pokes you* is in w-wove. W-With who? Nyow that is *cries* youw Gwace's -pawt. Mawk how showt his answew is: With Hewo, Weonyato's showt -daughtew. -Cwaud. I-If this wewe so, s-so wewe it utt'wed. -Benye. Wike *looks away* the o-owd *moans* tawe, my *blushes* wowd: 'It is n-nyot ;;w;; so, nyow ^-^ 'twas nyot s-so; -but indeed, God fowbid it *moans* shouwd be >_> so!' -Cwaud. *looks at you* If my p-passion change nyot showtwy, *giggles shyly* God fowbid it shouwd be -othewwise. -Pedwo. A-Amen, if :33 you wove hew; fow the wady is vewy weww *screams* wowthy. -Cwaud. You speak this uWu to fetch me in, m-my wowd. -Pedwo. By my twoth, *twerks* I >w< speak my thought. -Cwaud. And, ;;w;; in faith, my wowd, I spoke minye. -Benye. And, :3 by ^w^ my two f-faiths and twoths, my wowd, I spoke minye. -Cwaud. That *cuddles you* I w-wove hew, I feew. -Pedwo. uWu That she is w-wowthy, I knyow. -Benye. That I nyeithew f-feew how she shouwd be woved, nyow knyow h-how she -shouwd be wowthy, is the opinyion that xDD fiwe cannyot mewt out of m-me. -I wiww die in it at the stake. -Pedwo. T-Thou wast evew an o-obstinyate hewetic in the despite *leans over* of -beauty. -Cwaud. *cries* And nyevew couwd maintain his pawt but in the fowce of h-his -wiww. -Benye. T-That a-a woman conceived me, I thank hew; that she bwought me -up, I wikewise *hugs tightly* give hew most humbwe thanks; but that *pokes you* I wiww have -a wechate w-winded i-in my fowehead, o-ow hang my *giggles shyly* bugwe in *cuddles you* an invisibwe -bawdwick, a-aww women ^-^ shaww pawdon me. Because I wiww nyot do them -the wwong t-to mistwust *moans* any, I-I wiww do mysewf the wight t-to twust -nyonye; and the finye *sweats* is (fow the *pokes you* which I *pokes you* may go the finyew), *pokes you* I >_> wiww -wive a bachewow. -Pedwo. I shaww *twerks* see *sighs* thee, ewe I die, wook pawe with wove. -B-Benye. With x3 angew, with sicknyess, ow with h-hungew, m-my wowd; nyot w-with -*sighs* wove. Pwove that evew I wose m-mowe bwood with wove than I-I wiww get -again with dwinking, xDD pick out minye eyes ^w^ with a-a bawwad-makew's pen -*shuffles closer* and h-hang me up at the doow of *hugs tightly* a bwothew house fow the *looks at you* sign of -bwind *blushes* Cupid. -Pedwo. Weww, if evew thou dost faww ^-^ fwom this faith, t-thou *looks away* wiwt -pwove a n-nyotabwe awgument. -Benye. If I do, hang me in a b-bottwe wike a xDD cat and shoot a-at me; and -he that uWu hits me, wet him be cwapp'd on the shouwdew and *teleports behind you* caww'd -Adam. -P-Pedwo. Weww, >_> as time s-shaww twy. -'In time the savage buww doth b-beaw the yoke.' -Benye. xDD The *blushes* savage buww may; but if evew the sensibwe *leans over* Benyedick beaw -it, pwuck o-off the ;;w;; buww's ^w^ howns and set them in ;;w;; my fowehead, and -wet me be UwU viwewy painted, and in such gweat w-wettews as they *cuddles you* wwite -'Hewe is good howse to hiwe,' wet them signyify :3 undew my sign -'Hewe you may see Benyedick the mawwied man.' -Cwaud. I-If t-this shouwd evew h-happen, thou wouwdst be hown-mad. -Pedwo. Nyay, if Cupid have *pokes you* nyot spent aww his quivew in Venyice, thou -wiwt quake fow this showtwy. -B-Benye. I wook f-fow an eawthquake *hugs tightly* too then. -Pedwo. Weww, you wiww tempowize with t-the h-houws. In the meantime, -good Signyiow Benyedick, wepaiw to Weonyato's, commend me t-to him and -teww him I wiww nyot faiw him at suppew; fow indeed he h-hath m-made -gweat pwepawation. -Benye. *twerks* I have awmost mattew >w< enyough in me fow such an *pokes you* embassage; ^-^ and -s-so I-I commit y-you-- -*sweats* Cwaud. T-To the tuition o-of God. Fwom my house--if I had it-- -Pedwo. The sixth of Juwy. Youw woving fwiend, Benyedick. -Benye. Nyay, m-mock *cries* nyot, m-mock nyot. *twerks* The body of youw discouwse is -sometime ^w^ guawded with ^-^ fwagments, *leans over* and xDD the guawds *sighs* awe >_> but swightwy -basted on >_< nyeithew. Ewe you fwout owd e-ends a-any fuwthew, examinye -*moans* youw c-conscience. And so I weave *hugs tightly* you. Exit. -Cwaud. My wiege, *twerks* youw H-Highnyess nyow m-may do me :33 good. -Pedwo. My *cuddles you* wove is thinye to teach. Teach it but h-how, -And thou shawt see how apt it is to weawn -Any hawd wesson that *notices bulge* may do :3 thee good. -Cwaud. Hath Weonyato any son, *cries* my wowd? -Pedwo. Nyo chiwd but Hewo; she's his onwy *notices bulge* heiw. -Dost thou affect hew, *moans* Cwaudio? -Cwaud.O *cuddles you* my wowd, -When you w-went onwawd on this ended action, -I wook'd upon hew with a sowdiew's eye, -That wik'd, but h-had a woughew task *looks away* in hand -Than to dwive wiking to the nyame of wove; -But nyow I am wetuwn'd and that *pokes you* waw-thoughts -Have weft *notices bulge* theiw pwaces vacant, i-in theiw wooms -Come thwonging soft a-and dewicate desiwes, -Aww pwompting *pokes you* me *looks at you* how faiw y-young Hewo *giggles shyly* is, -Saying *twerks* I wik'd hew ewe I *looks at you* went to waws. -Pedwo. Thou wiwt b-be wike a wovew pwesentwy -And tiwe the heawew with a book of wowds. -I-If thou dost *hugs tightly* wove faiw Hewo, chewish it, -*teleports behind you* And I wiww bweak with *looks at you* hew and w-with hew *twerks* fathew, -And thou shawt *moans* have hew. Wast >w< nyot *blushes* to this end -That thou b-began'st to twist :33 so finye a stowy? -Cwaud. How sweetwy you x3 do minyistew *cries* to wove, -That knyow w-wove's gwief ;;w;; by his c-compwexion! -But xDD west >w< my wiking m-might too sudden seem, -I *sweats* wouwd have sawv'd i-it with a wongew tweatise. -Pedwo. W-What nyeed t-the bwidge much bwoadew :3 than the fwood? -T-The faiwest gwant i-is the nyecessity. -Wook, xDD what *shuffles closer* wiww sewve is f-fit. 'Tis once, thou wovest, -And I wiww fit thee *screams* with x3 the wemedy. -I knyow we shaww have wevewwing ^.^ to-nyight. -I OwO wiww assume thy pawt in some disguise -And t-teww faiw H-Hewo I am Cwaudio, -And in hew UwU bosom I'ww uncwasp my heawt -*looks at you* And take hew :3 heawing p-pwisonyew with the fowce -And stwong e-encountew of my amowous tawe. -T-Then aftew to hew fathew w-wiww I bweak, -And the ^w^ concwusion is, she shaww be thinye. -In pwactice wet us put it pwesentwy. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye I-II. -A w-woom in Weonyato's h-house. - -xDD Entew [at onye doow] Weonyato and [at >_< anyothew doow, Antonyio] an owd m-man, -bwothew t-to W-Weonyato. - -Weon. How nyow, bwothew? W-Whewe is my cousin youw s-son? ^-^ Hath he -pwovided this music? -Ant. He is vewy busy about it. :3 But, b-bwothew, I c-can teww you stwange -*cuddles you* nyews that y-you yet dweamt uWu nyot o-of. -Weon. Awe t-they good? -Ant. A-As the event stamps t-them; but they have a good covew, t-they -show w-weww outwawd. The P-Pwince and Count ^w^ Cwaudio, wawking in a -thick-pweached awwey in minye owchawd, *twerks* wewe t-thus much ovewheawd *twerks* by -a man of minye: the Pwince discovewed to Cwaudio *shuffles closer* that he woved xDD my ->_> nyiece youw daughtew and meant to acknyowwedge it this nyight in a -dance, and if he found hew accowdant, he meant to take the -pwesent t-time b-by *teleports behind you* the top a-and instantwy b-bweak with you of it. -Weon. Hath the f-fewwow a-any wit that towd y-you this? -Ant. A-A good shawp fewwow. I wiww s-send fow him, and q-question him -youwsewf. -;;w;; Weon. UwU Nyo, nyo. We wiww h-howd *sighs* it a-as a-a dweam tiww it appeaw itsewf; >_< but -I wiww acquaint my d-daughtew withaw, that she *notices bulge* may be the bettew -pwepawed fow an answew, i-if pewadventuwe this be twue. Go you and -:33 teww hew of it. [Exit *twerks* Antonyio.] - -[-[Entew A-Antonyio's Son *moans* with a Musician, *teleports behind you* and othews.] - -[To the x3 Son] Cousin, you knyow what you have *pokes you* to do. ---[To the M-Musician] O, I cwy you mewcy, fwiend. G-Go you with me, -*shuffles closer* and I wiww use ^w^ youw skiww.--Good cousin, have *cuddles you* a cawe this OwO busy -time. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -Anyothew woom *leans over* in Weonyato's house.] - -*giggles shyly* Entew Siw John the Bastawd and Conwade, his companyion. - -Con. What the g-goodyeaw, *sighs* my wowd! Why a-awe y-you thus out of measuwe -sad? -John. Thewe i-is nyo measuwe in the *sighs* occasion that bweeds; thewefowe -the sadnyess i-is without wimit. -Con. You shouwd heaw w-weason. -J-John. And w-when I have heawd it, what bwessings ^w^ bwings i-it? -Con. ;;w;; If nyot a pwesent ^w^ wemedy, at weast a patient suffewance. -John. I wondew *screams* that thou (-(being, as OwO thou say'st thou awt, bown -undew xDD Satuwn) goest about to appwy a-a mowaw medicinye to a -*sweats* mowtifying mischief. I ;;w;; cannyot hide what I am: I must be sad when -I *blushes* have c-cause, and smiwe a-at nyo *shuffles closer* man's jests; eat when I have -stomach, a-and *shuffles closer* wait *looks away* fow *pokes you* nyo man's weisuwe; sweep when I-I am dwowsy, -and tend *notices bulge* on nyo man's businyess; waugh when ;;w;; I am mewwy, and cwaw nyo -man in h-his humouw. -Con. *looks away* Yea, but you must nyot make the f-fuww show o-of this tiww you xDD may -do *notices bulge* it without c-contwowment. You have o-of wate stood out against -youw bwothew, and h-he hath >w< ta'en you nyewwy into h-his gwace, whewe -it is impossibwe you ^-^ shouwd take t-twue woot but by the faiw -weathew that you make youwsewf. It is >w< nyeedfuw that you fwame the -season fow youw own *cuddles you* hawvest. -John. I had wathew be a cankew i-in a hedge than a wose in his gwace, -and it bettew fits *pokes you* my bwood uWu to *leans over* be disdain'd of aww *sighs* than to -fashion a cawwiage to wob wove fwom any. In this, though I cannyot -be s-said t-to be a fwattewing honyest man, it must nyot be denyied but -I *moans* am *moans* a pwain-deawing viwwain. I a-am twusted with a :33 muzzwe and -enfwanchis'd with a cwog; thewefowe I have decweed nyot to *shuffles closer* sing in -my cage. ^w^ If I had my mouth, *giggles shyly* I w-wouwd bite; i-if I had my wibewty, *pokes you* I -wouwd d-do my *looks away* wiking. In the meantime wet me be >w< that I-I ^.^ am, and seek -nyot to awtew me. -Con. Can you make nyo use of *looks at you* youw discontent? -J-John. I m-make OwO aww use ^w^ of it, fow I use it onwy. - -Entew Bowachio. - -W-Who comes hewe? What nyews, B-Bowachio? -Bowa. I came yondew fwom a gweat suppew. The Pwince youw bwothew is -woyawwy entewtain'd by Weonyato, and I can *leans over* give you intewwigence -of an intended m-mawwiage. -John. *blushes* Wiww it sewve fow a-any modew to buiwd mischief on? -W-What is he fow >_> a foow that betwoths himsewf to unquietnyess? -*hugs tightly* Bowa. Mawwy, it is youw *sighs* bwothew's wight hand. -John. Who? the most exquisite Cwaudio? -Bowa. Even he. -John. A pwopew s-squiwe! A-And who? and *sighs* who? which w-way wooks he? -Bowa. *screams* Mawwy, on Hewo, the daughtew and h-heiw of Weonyato. -John. A vewy fowwawd *pokes you* Mawch-chick! H-How c-came you to this? -UwU Bowa. Being entewtain'd f-fow a pewfumew, a-as I was smoking a musty -woom, comes m-me the Pwince and Cwaudio, hand in hand i-in sad -confewence. I-I whipt *moans* me behind the a-awwas and thewe heawd it agweed -*giggles shyly* upon that the Pwince shouwd woo Hewo *screams* fow h-himsewf, and h-having -o-obtain'd UwU hew, g-give h-hew to Count Cwaudio. -John. Come, come, wet us t-thithew. *pokes you* This may *giggles shyly* pwove food to my -dispweasuwe. That young stawt-up hath aww the gwowy of my -ovewthwow. If I can cwoss him any way, I bwess m-mysewf evewy w-way. -Y-You awe both suwe, and wiww >w< assist me? -Con. To the d-death, my wowd. -John. Wet us to x3 the gweat suppew. *twerks* Theiw cheew is the *looks at you* gweatew *twerks* that -I am subdued. Wouwd the OwO cook wewe *twerks* o' my mind! Shaww *sweats* we go pwove -what's to be donye? -B-Bowa. We'ww wait upon ^.^ youw w-wowdship. -Exeunt. - - - - ->w< <> - - - -ACT II. ^w^ Scenye OwO I. -A *cries* haww in Weonyato's house. - -Entew Weonyato, [Antonyio] his B-Bwothew, Hewo his UwU Daughtew, -and Beatwice his Nyiece, a-and a Kinsman; [awso :33 Mawgawet and U-Uwsuwa]. - -Weon. Was nyot Count J-John h-hewe at suppew? -Ant. I saw him nyot. -Beat. H-How ^-^ tawtwy that g-gentweman *cries* wooks! *cries* I nyevew can see him b-but I am -*cries* heawt-buwn'd an houw ^w^ aftew. ->_< Hewo. He is of a vewy mewanchowy disposition. -B-Beat. He wewe an excewwent man that wewe made just in the midway -between him and Benyedick. >_> The onye i-is too >w< wike an image and says -nyothing, a-and the o-othew too wike *cries* my w-wady's ewdest son, evewmowe -t-tattwing. -^.^ Weon. Then hawf Signyiow Benyedick's tongue in Count John's mouth, -and hawf Count John's m-mewanchowy in *twerks* Signyiow Benyedick's face-- -Beat. W-With a-a good *screams* weg and a :3 good foot, u-uncwe, and monyey enyough in -his puwse, such a man wouwd win *looks away* any ;;w;; woman *sweats* in t-the wowwd--if 'a -couwd get hew good w-wiww. -W-Weon. By my twoth, nyiece, thou wiwt nyevew get thee a husband if -thou be so s-shwewd *leans over* of thy tongue. -Ant. In faith, she's t-too cuwst. -Beat. Too c-cuwst *twerks* is mowe than cuwst. I shaww wessen *shuffles closer* God's sending -that xDD way, *sighs* fow it is s-said, 'God s-sends a cuwst cow showt h-howns,' -but *blushes* to a cow too cuwst he sends nyonye. -W-Weon. So, b-by being too cuwst, x3 God wiww send you nyo howns. -Beat. Just, if he send me nyo husband; f-fow :3 the UwU which bwessing I a-am -at h-him u-upon x3 my knyees evewy mownying a-and evenying. W-Wowd, I couwd nyot -enduwe a husband with a beawd on his face. I *hugs tightly* had wathew wie in -the woowwen! -Weon. You may w-wight on a >w< husband *cries* that hath nyo beawd. -B-Beat. What shouwd I do with him? dwess him in my *moans* appawew and m-make -him my waiting gentwewoman? He that *looks at you* hath a beawd is mowe than a -youth, a-and he that hath >_< nyo beawd *leans over* is wess than a *looks away* man; and he that -is mowe than >w< a y-youth i-is nyot fow me; and h-he that is *sighs* wess than a-a -m-man, I am *hugs tightly* nyot fow him. Thewefowe I wiww e-even take sixpence in -e-eawnyest of the bewwowd *cries* and ^.^ wead ^w^ his a-apes into heww. -Weon. Weww then, go you into heww? -Beat. Nyo; but to the g-gate, and thewe w-wiww the deviw meet me *cries* wike an -owd cuckowd with *shuffles closer* howns on his head, and say 'Get you to heaven, -Beatwice, get you to heaven. H-Hewe's nyo pwace fow you maids.' So -d-dewivew ^.^ I up *screams* my a-apes, *cries* and away to Saint Petew--fow the heavens. -He shows *twerks* me ;;w;; whewe t-the bachewows uWu sit, and t-thewe wive we as mewwy -*blushes* as t-the day xDD is wong. -Ant. [to Hewo] Weww, n-nyiece, I twust you wiww be wuw'd by youw -fathew. -Beat. Yes faith. It is my cousin's d-duty to ;;w;; make cuwsy a-and say, -'Fathew, as it pwease you.' But yet fow aww t-that, cousin, *looks away* wet him -be a x3 handsome fewwow, >w< ow e-ewse make anyothew cuwsy, and say, -'Fathew, as it pwease me.' -Weon. Weww, n-nyiece, I hope to see you onye day fitted with a husband. -Beat. Nyot tiww God *leans over* make men of some othew metaw than eawth. Wouwd -it nyot gwieve *notices bulge* a woman *hugs tightly* to be ovewmastew'd w-with a-a piece of vawiant -dust? OwO to make an account o-of hew wife to a cwod of *twerks* waywawd maww? -Nyo, >_< uncwe, I'ww nyonye. Adam's sons *giggles shyly* awe my bwethwen, *sweats* and twuwy I -howd i-it a sin to match in my kinwed. -Weon. Daughtew, wemembew w-what I towd you. If the Pwince do sowicit -you in that kind, you knyow y-youw answew. -Beat. T-The f-fauwt wiww be in the music, cousin, if you be nyot wooed -in good t-time. If the Pwince be too ^-^ impowtant, teww h-him thewe is -*screams* measuwe in UwU evewything, and s-so dance out the answew. Fow, heaw me, -Hewo: wooing, w-wedding, and wepenting is as a-a Scotch jig, a -m-measuwe, and a cinque-pace: the f-fiwst suit is hot a-and hasty wike -a Scotch jig--and fuww as fantasticaw; *moans* the *screams* wedding, m-mannyewwy -modest, ^-^ as ^.^ a measuwe, fuww *sweats* of state and ancientwy; a-and then comes -Wepentance a-and with his ^-^ bad wegs fawws into the cinque-pace -f-fastew and fastew, tiww he sink *hugs tightly* into *looks away* his gwave. -W-Weon. Cousin, you a-appwehend passing shwewdwy. -;;w;; Beat. I have a g-good e-eye, uncwe; I can see a chuwch by daywight. -*twerks* Weon. The wevewwews awe ent'wing, bwothew. Make good w-woom. -[Exit A-Antonyio.] - -Entew, [masked,] Don Pedwo, Cwaudio, ^w^ Benyedick, and *screams* Bawthasaw. -[-[With them entew Antonyio, awso m-masked. A-Aftew them entew] -Don John [and Bowachio (without masks), who stand a-aside -and w-wook on duwing the dance]. - -*teleports behind you* Pedwo. Wady, wiww you :33 wawk a-a bout w-with youw fwiend? -Hewo. So you wawk softwy and wook sweetwy and say nyothing, -I :3 am y-youws f-fow *screams* the wawk; and especiawwy when I wawk away. -P-Pedwo. With me in y-youw company? -Hewo. I may say so *looks at you* when I pwease. -Pedwo. And when pwease you *notices bulge* to s-say ^-^ so? -Hewo. >_> When I wike youw favouw, fow God defend t-the wute shouwd be -^w^ wike ^-^ the case! -P-Pedwo. *giggles shyly* My visow is Phiwemon's woof; within t-the house i-is Jove. -Hewo. Why then, y-youw >w< visow shouwd be t-thatch'd. -Pedwo. UwU Speak w-wow i-if you speak wove. [Takes hew aside.] -OwO Bawth. Weww, I wouwd you d-did wike me. -Mawg. So wouwd nyot I fow youw *looks away* own sake, fow I have many *pokes you* iww -quawities. -B-Bawth. Which i-is onye? -Mawg. I *cries* say :33 my p-pwayews awoud. -^.^ Bawth. *teleports behind you* I wove y-you ;;w;; the bettew. The heawews m-may cwy Amen. -Mawg. *looks at you* God match m-me with a *twerks* good dancew! -Bawth. *teleports behind you* Amen. -Mawg. And *cries* God keep him out of my OwO sight when t-the dance is donye! -Answew, cwewk. -Bawth. N-Nyo mowe w-wowds. The cwewk i-is answewed. -*notices bulge* [Takes h-hew a-aside.] -Uws. I knyow you weww e-enyough. You awe Signyiow Antonyio. -xDD Ant. At a-a wowd, I am *shuffles closer* nyot. -U-Uws. I knyow you by the waggwing of y-youw head. -Ant. To teww you twue, I countewfeit him. ->_< Uws. You couwd nyevew do him so iww-weww unwess you wewe the vewy -man. Hewe's his dwy hand up ^-^ and down. You awe he, you awe he! -*notices bulge* Ant. At a wowd, I am nyot. -Uws. Come, come, do *screams* you think I do ;;w;; nyot knyow you b-by ^.^ youw excewwent -wit? Can viwtue x3 hide itsewf? Go to, mum you awe he. G-Gwaces w-wiww -appeaw, and ^-^ thewe's :3 an end. [ They step aside.] -Beat. Wiww you nyot t-teww me *cries* who towd you so? -Benye. Nyo, you shaww pawdon me. -Beat. Nyow wiww y-you UwU nyot teww me who y-you *moans* awe? -Benye. Nyot nyow. -Beat. That I w-was disdainfuw, and that I had my >w< good wit *screams* out of the -'Hundwed Mewwy Tawes.' W-Weww, this uWu was Signyiow Benyedick x3 that *cuddles you* said -so. -Benye. What's he? -Beat. I am suwe you k-knyow him weww enyough. -Benye. Nyot I, bewieve me. -Beat. >_> Did he nyevew make you waugh? -Benye. I pway y-you, what is he? -Beat. Why, *shuffles closer* he is the Pwince's jestew, *blushes* a vewy duww foow. Onwy *leans over* his -g-gift is in devising impossibwe s-swandews. *looks away* Nyonye *sighs* but wibewtinyes -*giggles shyly* dewight in him; a-and the commendation is nyot in his wit, ;;w;; but in -his viwwany; :3 fow he b-both pweases men and angews them, and then -they waugh *twerks* at him and b-beat him. *notices bulge* I a-am suwe uWu he is *looks at you* in the fweet. -UwU I wouwd he had boawded me. ->w< Benye. When I knyow the gentweman, I'ww teww him what you say. -Beat. Do, d-do. He'ww but b-bweak a compawison ow two on me; which -pewadventuwe, nyot mawked ow nyot waugh'd at, stwikes him into -m-mewanchowy; and x3 then thewe's a *blushes* pawtwidge wing saved, fow the foow -wiww eat nyo suppew that nyight. -^.^ [Music.] -We must fowwow the weadews. -Benye. In evewy good thing. -*hugs tightly* Beat. Nyay, if they wead to *pokes you* any :3 iww, I wiww weave them at the nyext -tuwnying. -D-Dance. Exeunt (aww but Don *screams* John, Bowachio, and Cwaudio]. -John. Suwe my :3 bwothew *screams* is a-amowous on Hewo and hath withdwawn hew -fathew *screams* to bweak with him about uWu it. The wadies *blushes* fowwow hew a-and but -onye visow wemains. -Bowa. And t-that is Cwaudio. I knyow h-him by h-his beawing. -John. Awe you nyot *teleports behind you* Signyiow Benyedick? -Cwaud. You knyow >_> me weww. I-I am :3 he. -John. *leans over* Signyiow, you awe vewy nyeaw m-my bwothew in his wove. H-He is -enyamouw'd on Hewo. I pway you ^.^ dissuade him >w< fwom hew; she is nyo -equaw fow *blushes* his *leans over* biwth. *looks away* You may do *sweats* the p-pawt of an honyest man i-in it. -C-Cwaud. How knyow you he woves hew? -John. I heawd him sweaw h-his affection. -Bowa. So did I too, and he swowe he >w< wouwd mawwy hew t-tonyight. -J-John. Come, wet us to *sweats* the b-banquet. -Exeunt. Manyet Cwaudio. -C-Cwaud. *looks at you* Thus answew I-I in nyame of Benyedick -But heaw these iww nyews *looks at you* with the eaws of Cwaudio. -[Unmasks.] -'Tis cewtain so. The Pwince wooes f-fow *pokes you* himsewf. -Fwiendship i-is constant in aww othew things -Save *shuffles closer* in the office and affaiws of wove. -Thewefowe aww heawts in wove *giggles shyly* use theiw own *looks away* tongues; -Wet evewy eye n-nyegotiate *blushes* fow itsewf ->_< And ;;w;; twust nyo agent; fow xDD beauty is a witch -Against whose *leans over* chawms faith mewteth into bwood. -This *giggles shyly* is an accident *notices bulge* of houwwy pwoof, -Which I x3 mistwusted nyot. Faweweww thewefowe Hewo! - -E-Entew Benyedick [unmasked]. - -Benye. Count Cwaudio? -Cwaud. ^w^ Yea, the same. -Benye. Come, wiww you go w-with :33 me? -*cries* Cwaud. W-Whithew? -Benye. Even to the nyext wiwwow, about *leans over* youw o-own businyess, County. W-What -fashion wiww you UwU weaw the gawwand of? about youw n-nyeck, wike UwU an -usuwew's chain? ow undew youw awm, wike a wieutenyant's scawf? You -must weaw it onye way, fow ^w^ the >w< Pwince hath *giggles shyly* got youw Hewo. -Cwaud. I wish him uWu joy o-of h-hew. -B-Benye. Why, that's spoken wike an honyest dwoview. x3 So they s-seww -b-buwwocks. But d-did you *notices bulge* think the P-Pwince wouwd have s-sewved you -thus? -Cwaud. I pway you weave me. -Benye. Ho! n-nyow you stwike wike the bwind man! 'Twas t-the boy *pokes you* that -stowe youw meat, a-and *cries* you'ww beat t-the post. -Cwaud. If i-it wiww nyot be, ^w^ I'ww weave *hugs tightly* you. Exit. -Benye. Awas, *leans over* poow huwt foww! n-nyow *screams* wiww he cweep into sedges. But, -that m-my Wady Beatwice shouwd knyow m-me, a-and nyot knyow me! The -Pwince's foow! xDD Ha! it may be I go undew *moans* that titwe because I am -mewwy. Yea, but so I am apt to do mysewf wwong. I am *twerks* nyot so -weputed. It is the base (though bittew) disposition of Beatwice -that p-puts the wowwd into hew pewson and so gives me OwO out. Weww, -I'ww be wevenged as I may. - -Entew Don Pedwo. - -Pedwo. Nyow, signyiow, whewe's *leans over* the *screams* Count? Did you see him? -Benye. *looks at you* Twoth, m-my wowd, I have pwayed the pawt *looks at you* of W-Wady Fame, I found -him >_< hewe as m-mewanchowy a-as a wodge in a wawwen. I towd him, and I -think I >_> towd him t-twue, that youw Gwace had g-got the g-good wiww of -this young wady, *blushes* and *cries* I off'wed him my company to a wiwwow twee, -eithew to make him >_> a gawwand, as b-being fowsaken, o-ow to bind him -up a-a w-wod, as being wowthy to be whipt. -Pedwo. To ^.^ be whipt? What's h-his fauwt? -Benye. *notices bulge* The fwat *cuddles you* twansgwession of UwU a *leans over* schoowboy who, being ovewjoyed -with finding a biwd's nyest, shows it his companyion, and he *looks away* steaws -it. -Pedwo. Wiwt thou make *hugs tightly* a twust a twansgwession? The >w< twansgwession i-is -in *cries* the steawew. -Benye. Yet it had nyot been amiss *notices bulge* the wod had been made, *cries* and >_> the -gawwand *cries* too; fow the gawwand he might have wown :33 himsewf, and the -wod he might h-have bestowed on y-you, w-who, as I take *giggles shyly* it, have *cuddles you* stow'n -h-his biwd's >w< nyest. -Pedwo. I wiww b-but teach them to sing *looks at you* and westowe *shuffles closer* them *cries* to the ownyew. -Benye. If theiw singing answew youw saying, *twerks* by m-my faith you *moans* say -h-honyestwy. -Pedwo. *screams* The W-Wady Beatwice *sighs* hath a quawwew to *cuddles you* you. *looks at you* The gentweman that -danc'd with hew towd hew she is much wwong'd *sweats* by you. -Benye. O, she *hugs tightly* misus'd *giggles shyly* me past the enduwance of a b-bwock! An oak but -w-with ^-^ onye g-gween weaf on it wouwd have answewed hew; my vewy visow -b-began *notices bulge* to assume wife and scowd with hew. She towd me, *shuffles closer* nyot -t-thinking I ^.^ had been mysewf, that >_> I was t-the Pwince's jestew, that -I-I :33 was duwwew than a g-gweat thaw; huddwing jest upon jest with :3 such -impossibwe conveyance upon me that *hugs tightly* I stood wike a man at :33 a mawk, -with *cries* a whowe awmy shooting at *pokes you* me. She speaks ponyiawds, and *pokes you* evewy -wowd stabs. If hew bweath wewe as tewwibwe as ^-^ hew tewminyations, -thewe wewe nyo wiving nyeaw hew; she wouwd infect to the Nyowth -Staw. I-I *notices bulge* wouwd nyot mawwy h-hew though she wewe endowed with aww that -Adam had weft *looks away* him befowe he twansgwess'd. She wouwd have made -uWu Hewcuwes *cuddles you* have tuwn'd spit, *leans over* yea, and have cweft uWu his cwub to make -the *cuddles you* fiwe too. Come, tawk nyot of hew. *moans* You shaww find hew the -infewnyaw Ate i-in good appawew. *shuffles closer* I wouwd *hugs tightly* to God some schowaw wouwd -conjuwe *shuffles closer* hew, fow cewtainwy, whiwe she is hewe, ^w^ a m-man may w-wive as -quiet in heww as in a-a sanctuawy; and peopwe sin upon puwpose, -because *cuddles you* they ^-^ wouwd *twerks* go thithew; so indeed aww disquiet, howwow, -a-and pewtuwbation fowwows hew. - -Entew Cwaudio and Beatwice, :3 Weonyato, Hewo. - -Pedwo. Wook, OwO hewe she >w< comes. -B-Benye. Wiww y-youw Gwace command me *leans over* any s-sewvice to the wowwd's end? I -wiww go o-on t-the swightest ewwand nyow to the Antipodes that y-you c-can -devise to send me on; ^.^ I wiww fetch you uWu a toothpickew nyow :33 fwom the -;;w;; fuwthest inch of Asia; *teleports behind you* bwing y-you the wength of Pwestew John's -foot; fetch you a ^.^ haiw o-off the gweat C-Cham's beawd; do *notices bulge* you any -embassage to the P-Pygmies--wathew than howd thwee wowds' -confewence w-with t-this hawpy. You have nyo empwoyment fow me? -Pedwo. Nyonye, but to desiwe xDD youw good company. -Benye. O God, *leans over* siw, hewe's a dish I w-wove nyot! ^.^ I cannyot enduwe my Wady -Tongue. [Exit.] -Pedwo. Come, wady, come; you have wost ^.^ the heawt of Signyiow -*leans over* Benyedick. -Beat. *cuddles you* Indeed, my wowd, he went it m-me awhiwe, >_< and *cuddles you* I gave h-him *cries* use f-fow -it--a doubwe heawt fow his singwe onye. M-Mawwy, once befowe he won -it o-of me with >_> fawse *teleports behind you* dice; thewefowe youw Gwace may weww say I -have wost it. -Pedwo. You have put him *screams* down, wady; you have put him down. -Beat. So I w-wouwd nyot he shouwd do x3 me, my wowd, *blushes* west I shouwd *twerks* pwove -the mothew of foows. I h-have bwought Count Cwaudio, whom you ^w^ sent -me to seek. -Pedwo. Why, h-how nyow, Count? Whewefowe *twerks* awe you sad? -Cwaud. Nyot sad, my *cries* wowd. -Pedwo. *notices bulge* How then? sick? -Cwaud. Nyeithew, my *leans over* wowd. -Beat. T-The Count is nyeithew sad, nyow sick, OwO nyow *sweats* mewwy, nyow *pokes you* weww; but -civiw count--civiw a-as *pokes you* an owange, and something of that jeawous -compwexion. -Pedwo. I' faith, wady, I think youw bwazon to be twue; though I'ww -be swown, if >_> he *twerks* be so, his *hugs tightly* conceit is f-fawse. Hewe, Cwaudio, *moans* I -have w-wooed in thy nyame, and f-faiw Hewo :33 is won. I have bwoke with -hew fathew, and his good w-wiww obtainyed. *notices bulge* Nyame the *sweats* day *twerks* of mawwiage, -and God give thee joy! -Weon. Count, take o-of me my >w< daughtew, xDD and with *twerks* hew my fowtunyes. His -G-Gwace hath made the *giggles shyly* match, and aww >w< gwace say Amen to *cries* it! -Beat. Speak, Count, 'tis y-youw cue. -Cwaud. S-Siwence is the pewfectest hewawd of joy. I wewe b-but wittwe -happy if I couwd say how *screams* much. Wady, as you awe minye, I am y-youws. -I g-give away mysewf fow you UwU and dote upon the exchange. -Beat. Speak, cousin; ow, if you *notices bulge* cannyot, *moans* stop his mouth *hugs tightly* with a kiss -and wet nyot him speak nyeithew. -Pedwo. In faith, w-wady, you have a mewwy heawt. -Beat. Yea, my w-wowd; I thank it, x3 poow foow, it keeps on t-the ^-^ windy -side of cawe. My cousin tewws him i-in his eaw that OwO he is in hew -heawt. -Cwaud. And so she *leans over* doth, cousin. -B-Beat. G-Good Wowd, fow awwiance! Thus goes evewy *leans over* onye to the wowwd but -I-I, a-and I am sunbuwnt. I :3 may sit in a cownyew and cwy 'Heigh-ho fow -a husband!' -Pedwo. Wady Beatwice, I-I wiww get you onye. -Beat. ^.^ I wouwd wathew have onye of youw fathew's getting. *blushes* Hath youw -Gwace nye'ew *blushes* a bwothew wike you? Youw fathew got excewwent -husbands, if a maid couwd come by *twerks* them. -Pedwo. >w< Wiww you have me, *screams* wady? -Beat. N-Nyo, m-my wowd, u-unwess I might h-have xDD anyothew f-fow wowking days: -youw Gwace is x3 too costwy to w-weaw evewy *blushes* day. But I beseech ^w^ youw -Gwace pawdon m-me. I w-was bown to speak aww miwth and n-nyo mattew. -Pedwo. Youw siwence most offends me, a-and to be mewwy best becomes -you, *blushes* fow out o' q-question you wewe *looks away* bown *cries* in a mewwy houw. -Beat. *blushes* Nyo, suwe, my wowd, m-my *sweats* mothew cwied; >_< but then t-thewe was a staw -*shuffles closer* danc'd, and undew that was I bown. Cousins, x3 God give you *looks away* joy! -Weon. Nyiece, wiww *sweats* you wook t-to t-those things I t-towd you *pokes you* of? -Beat. I ;;w;; cwy >w< you *looks at you* mewcy, uncwe, B-By *notices bulge* youw Gwace's ^-^ pawdon. *giggles shyly* Exit. -Pedwo. By my uWu twoth, a pweasant-spiwited wady. -Weon. Thewe's wittwe of the m-mewanchowy ewement in hew, my *looks away* wowd. She -OwO is nyevew sad but when she sweeps, a-and *teleports behind you* nyot evew sad then; >w< fow I -have h-heawd my d-daughtew *moans* say she hath often dweamt of unhappinyess -and wak'd hewsewf with waughing. -Pedwo. ^-^ She cannyot enduwe to heaw teww of a husband. -Weon. O, b-by nyo means! She mocks aww hew ^w^ wooews out of suit. -Pedwo. She wewe *looks away* an excewwent *cries* wife fow Benyedick. -Weon. O W-Wowd, my w-wowd! if they wewe but a week mawwied, they OwO wouwd -tawk themsewves x3 mad. -Pedwo. County Cwaudio, *looks away* when mean you to go t-to chuwch? -Cwaud. To-mowwow, my *screams* wowd. Time g-goes on cwutches t-tiww w-wove have aww -his w-wites. -Weon. Nyot t-tiww M-Monday, my deaw xDD son, which is hence a just -sevennyight; and a time too bwief t-too, *notices bulge* to have aww t-things answew -my *shuffles closer* mind. -Pedwo. Come, you s-shake the head at s-so wong a-a >_< bweathing; -but I-I wawwant thee, C-Cwaudio, ^.^ the time shaww nyot xDD go *blushes* duwwy by us. -I wiww in the intewim undewtake onye o-of *hugs tightly* Hewcuwes' wabouws, OwO which -*shuffles closer* is, to bwing Signyiow Benyedick a-and *sighs* the W-Wady Beatwice into a -mountain of affection t-th' onye with th' othew. I wouwd fain have -*cuddles you* it a match, and I d-doubt nyot but t-to *leans over* fashion *sighs* it if xDD you t-thwee wiww -but minyistew such assistance as I shaww give you diwection. -Weon. My wowd, I *giggles shyly* am fow you, though *moans* it cost me ten nyights' -w-watchings. -Cwaud. And I, my wowd. -Pedwo. And you too, gentwe Hewo? -Hewo. *screams* I wiww do ^-^ any modest *sweats* office, my w-wowd, to h-hewp my cousin to a -good husband. -Pedwo. And Benyedick is nyot the unhopefuwwest husband that I k-knyow. -T-Thus f-faw can I pwaise him: he is of a nyobwe stwain, :3 of appwoved -vawouw, *looks at you* and confiwm'd h-honyesty. uWu I wiww teach you *hugs tightly* how to humouw -youw c-cousin, that she *giggles shyly* shaww faww in wove with Benyedick; and I-I, -[to W-Weonyato a-and *looks away* Cwaudio] with youw two h-hewps, ^-^ wiww so pwactise on -B-Benyedick that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy -*screams* stomach, he shaww faww in wove ^.^ with Beatwice. If we can do ^w^ this, -C-Cupid is nyo wongew an awchew; h-his *sweats* gwowy shaww be ouws, *moans* fow we awe -*moans* the onwy wove-gods. Go in with me, *hugs tightly* and I wiww t-teww you my *cuddles you* dwift. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -A haww in Weonyato's house. - -Entew [Don] *leans over* John and B-Bowachio. - -John. *cuddles you* It is so. The Count Cwaudio shaww mawwy the daughtew of -W-Weonyato. -Bowa. Yea, my wowd; uWu but I can c-cwoss it. -John. Any baw, any cwoss, any impediment wiww be med'cinyabwe to m-me. -I-I am sick in dispweasuwe to him, and whatsoevew comes athwawt his -affection wanges xDD evenwy with minye. >_< How canst thou cwoss t-this -mawwiage? -Bowa. Nyot honyestwy, m-my wowd, but so covewtwy that nyo dishonyesty -s-shaww appeaw >w< in me. -*moans* John. S-Show me bwiefwy *cries* how. -Bowa. I think I towd *pokes you* youw w-wowdship, a-a yeaw since, how much I xDD am *twerks* in -the favouw of Mawgawet, the waiting gentwewoman t-to Hewo. -John. I wemembew. -Bowa. I can, at any unseasonyabwe instant of the nyight, appoint hew -to wook out at hew wady's chambew window. -John. What wife is in that to *looks at you* be the ^.^ death of t-this mawwiage? -Bowa. The *notices bulge* poison of that wies in you to tempew. Go *hugs tightly* you to the -Pwince youw bwothew; spawe nyot to teww him that he hath :33 wwonged -his honyouw *moans* in mawwying the wenyownyed Cwaudio (whose estimation *sighs* do -UwU you *notices bulge* mightiwy howd u-up) t-to a-a contaminyated stawe, such a onye as -Hewo. -*leans over* John. What pwoof shaww I make of that? -Bowa. *giggles shyly* Pwoof enyough to m-misuse the Pwince, to vex Cwaudio, to *pokes you* undo -Hewo, and kiww Weonyato. W-Wook you fow UwU any *cries* othew issue? -John. Onwy to d-despite t-them I wiww endeavouw anything. -Bowa. Go then; find me a *screams* meet houw t-to dwaw Don Pedwo and the Count -Cwaudio awonye; t-teww them that you knyow that Hewo woves me; intend -a kind of zeaw both to the Pwince and *looks away* Cwaudio, as--in wove of -y-youw bwothew's honyouw, who hath made this match, and h-his fwiend's -weputation, who is thus wike OwO to be c-cozen'd with the sembwance of -a maid--that *cuddles you* you have discovew'd thus. *sweats* They wiww scawcewy b-bewieve -this *moans* without t-twiaw. Offew them instances; which shaww beaw nyo -wess wikewihood than to see me at hew chambew window, *giggles shyly* heaw me -:33 caww M-Mawgawet Hewo, heaw M-Mawgawet tewm me *sighs* Cwaudio; and *pokes you* bwing them -to *sighs* see this *sighs* the *notices bulge* vewy nyight befowe the intended *giggles shyly* wedding (fow in -the meantime I ^w^ wiww so fashion *sweats* the *looks at you* mattew that Hewo shaww b-be -absent) and thewe shaww appeaw such seeming twuth of H-Hewo's -diswoyawty that jeawousy shaww be caww'd assuwance and a-aww the -OwO pwepawation ovewthwown. -J-John. *leans over* Gwow this to what advewse issue i-it *sweats* can, I wiww *screams* put i-it :3 in -pwactice. Be c-cunnying in the *cuddles you* wowking *cuddles you* this, and thy *hugs tightly* fee is a -thousand ducats. -Bowa. Be you constant in the ^.^ accusation, *teleports behind you* and my cunnying shaww nyot -shame me. -John. I wiww pwesentwy go weawn theiw day of mawwiage. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -Weonyato's owchawd. - -Entew Benyedick ^.^ awonye. - -Benye. Boy! - -*sighs* [Entew Boy.] - -Boy. Signyiow? -Benye. In my chambew *looks away* window *teleports behind you* wies a book. ^w^ Bwing it hithew to me in -t-the owchawd. -Boy. I am hewe *pokes you* awweady, s-siw. -Benye. I knyow that, but *looks at you* I *teleports behind you* wouwd h-have thee UwU hence and hewe again. -(Exit Boy.) I do much wondew that o-onye man, seeing how m-much -anyothew man :3 is a foow when he dedicates his behaviouws to wove, -wiww, a-aftew he h-hath waugh'd *notices bulge* at s-such shawwow fowwies in othews, -become the awgument of his *hugs tightly* own s-scown *blushes* by fawwing in ^.^ wove; *looks away* and such -a m-man is Cwaudio. I have knyown w-when t-thewe was nyo music with him -b-but t-the dwum and *sighs* the fife; and nyow :33 had he wathew *teleports behind you* heaw t-the tabow -and the pipe. I have knyown when >_> he x3 wouwd have wawk'd ten m-miwe -afoot to see a good awmouw; and *sighs* nyow w-wiww he wie ten nyights awake -cawving *hugs tightly* the fashion of a nyew doubwet. He was wont to speak pwain -and to the puwpose, >w< wike a-an honyest man ^-^ and a uWu sowdiew; and nyow is -he tuwn'd o-owthogwaphy; his wowds awe a vewy fantasticaw banquet-- -just so m-many stwange dishes. May I *sighs* be so convewted and see with -these eyes? *hugs tightly* I c-cannyot teww; I ;;w;; think *moans* nyot. I wiww nyot b-be ;;w;; swown but -*teleports behind you* wove m-may t-twansfowm me t-to a-an *screams* oystew; but *blushes* I'ww take my o-oath on it, -tiww he have >_< made an oystew of me he OwO shaww nyevew make me such a -foow. *looks at you* Onye woman is faiw, yet I-I am w-weww; anyothew is wise, yet I am -weww; *moans* anyothew >w< viwtuous, yet I am weww; but *giggles shyly* tiww aww gwaces b-be in -onye woman, onye woman shaww nyot come in my gwace. Wich she shaww -be, that's c-cewtain; wise, ^-^ ow I'ww *leans over* nyonye; viwtuous, ow I'ww nyevew -c-cheapen hew; faiw, ow I'ww nyevew wook on hew; miwd, o-ow come nyot -nyeaw me; nyobwe, ow nyot I fow an angew; >_< of good discouwse, an -excewwent musician, and hew haiw *blushes* shaww b-be *sighs* of w-what cowouw it -pwease God. Ha, the Pwince and xDD Monsieuw *teleports behind you* Wove! I wiww *cuddles you* hide me i-in -the awbouw. [Hides.] - -Entew Don Pedwo, Weonyato, Cwaudio. -Music [within]. - -P-Pedwo. Come, shaww we heaw this music? -Cwaud. Yea, *screams* my good wowd. How stiww the >w< evenying is, -As hush'd on puwpose to gwace hawmony! -Pedwo. See you whewe Benyedick h-hath hid *twerks* himsewf? -Cwaud. O, vewy *leans over* weww, my wowd. T-The music ended, -W-We'ww fit the kid-fox w-with a pennywowth. - -xDD Entew :33 Bawthasaw w-with Music. - -Pedwo. Come, Bawthasaw, w-we'ww heaw that song again. -Bawth. O, good my wowd, t-tax nyot ^-^ so bad a voice -To swandew music any mowe ^-^ than once. -Pedwo. It i-is the witnyess stiww of excewwency -To put a stwange face on his own pewfection. -I pway *teleports behind you* thee sing, and wet me w-woo nyo mowe. -B-Bawth. Because *giggles shyly* you tawk of wooing, I-I wiww sing, -*looks at you* Since m-many a wooew d-doth commence h-his suit -To hew he thinks nyot wowthy, >_< yet he wooes, -Yet wiww he s-sweaw he woves. -Pedwo. Nyay, pway thee come; -:33 Ow if *looks at you* thou wiwt howd *looks away* wongew awgument, -Do it in nyotes. -Bawth. Nyote t-this befowe m-my nyotes: -Thewe's nyot a nyote of minye *notices bulge* that's wowth the nyoting. -Pedwo. W-Why, these awe vewy cwotchets that he speaks! -Nyote nyotes, fowsooth, and nyothing! [Music.] -Benye. [aside] Nyow divinye a-aiw! uWu Nyow is his souw *hugs tightly* wavish'd! Is it nyot -*blushes* stwange that sheep's guts *shuffles closer* shouwd h-hawe souws out of men's bodies? -Weww, a hown *leans over* fow my monyey, when aww's donye. -[Bawthasaw sings.] -The Song. - -Sigh nyo m-mowe, wadies, sigh nyo mowe! -Men wewe deceivews evew, -*sweats* Onye foot in sea, and onye on showe; -To onye thing constant nyevew. -Then sigh nyot so, -But w-wet them go, -And be you bwithe and bonny, -Convewting aww youw sounds of woe -Into Hey nyonny, nyonny. - -Sing nyo mowe ditties, sing nyo moe, -Of *shuffles closer* dumps so duww and ^.^ heavy! -The *notices bulge* fwaud of men >w< was evew ^-^ so, -Since summew *cuddles you* fiwst was weavy. -Then *leans over* sigh nyot so, &c. - -Pedwo. B-By my t-twoth, a good song. -Bawth. And an iww *sweats* singew, my wowd. -P-Pedwo. Ha, nyo, nyo, faith! Thou sing'st weww enyough :33 fow a shift. -Benye. *hugs tightly* [aside] An he *pokes you* had been a *looks away* dog *cries* that shouwd have howw'd t-thus, -they *hugs tightly* wouwd have hang'd him; and I pway God his bad voice bode nyo -mischief. I had as wive h-have *sighs* heawd the nyight waven, come what -pwague couwd have come aftew it. -Pedwo. Y-Yea, m-mawwy. D-Dost thou heaw, *leans over* Bawthasaw? :3 I pway thee ^.^ get us -some e-excewwent music; *notices bulge* fow to-mowwow nyight we wouwd have *blushes* it at the -Wady Hewo's c-chambew window. -Bawth. The best I can, my wowd. -Pedwo. D-Do so. *blushes* Faweweww. -Exit Bawthasaw [with Musicians]. -Come hithew, W-Weonyato. What *moans* was it xDD you towd OwO me of *pokes you* to-day? that -y-youw n-nyiece B-Beatwice was in wove with Signyiow Benyedick? -Cwaud. O, ay!-[Aside to Pedwo] Stawk on, stawk on; t-the foww sits. ---I did n-nyevew think that wady wouwd have woved any man. -uWu Weon. Nyo, nyow I nyeithew; *leans over* but most *leans over* wondewfuw that ^w^ she shouwd so dote -on Signyiow Benyedick, whom she hath in aww outwawd behaviouws -seem'd evew to abhow. -Benye. [aside] *looks at you* Is't possibwe? Sits the wind in that cownyew? -Weon. By m-my twoth, *teleports behind you* my wowd, I cannyot teww what UwU to think of it, *notices bulge* but -that she woves him with an e-enwaged affection. It >_< is p-past the -infinyite of thought. -P-Pedwo. May be she doth *sweats* but c-countewfeit. -Cwaud. Faith, wike enyough. -W-Weon. O God, countewfeit? T-Thewe was nyevew countewfeit of p-passion -came so nyeaw the wife ^-^ of passion as she discovews it. -Pedwo. W-Why, what effects of ^.^ passion shows she? -Cwaud. [aside] Bait the h-hook weww! This fish wiww bite. -Weon. What effects, my ^-^ wowd? She ^.^ wiww sit you--you *cries* heawd my -daughtew teww y-you how. -Cwaud. She did indeed. -Pedwo. How, how, I pway *hugs tightly* you? You amaze >_< me. I wouwd have thought hew -spiwit h-had b-been invincibwe against aww assauwts o-of affection. -Weon. *sweats* I wouwd *cuddles you* have swown it *pokes you* had, my wowd--especiawwy against -Benyedick. -Benye. [aside] I shouwd think t-this a guww b-but that the white-beawded -UwU fewwow speaks it. Knyavewy cannyot, s-suwe, hide himsewf in such -wevewence. -Cwaud. *giggles shyly* [aside] He hath ta'en th' infection. Howd it x3 up. -P-Pedwo. Hath *giggles shyly* she made uWu hew affection knyown t-to Benyedick? -W-Weon. Nyo, *twerks* and s-sweaws s-she nyevew wiww. *notices bulge* That's hew towment. -Cwaud. 'Tis twue indeed. So y-youw daughtew says. 'Shaww I,' says -she, '-'that have *notices bulge* so o-oft encount'wed him with scown, wwite to him -*giggles shyly* that I wove him?'" -Weon. This says she n-nyow when s-she is beginnying :33 to wwite to him; fow -*cuddles you* she'ww be up twenty times a nyight, ^-^ and thewe w-wiww she *pokes you* sit in hew -smock tiww *hugs tightly* she have wwit a-a sheet of papew. My :3 daughtew *leans over* tewws us -aww. -Cwaud. Nyow >w< you tawk of a sheet of papew, I wemembew a pwetty jest -youw daughtew towd us of. -Weon. UwU O, when she had wwit i-it, and was weading it ovew, she found -'Benyedick' *sighs* and 'Beatwice' between the sheet? -*cuddles you* Cwaud. That. -Weon. O, she towe the wettew into *hugs tightly* a thousand hawfpence, waiw'd at -hewsewf t-that she shouwd be so immodest to w-wwite to onye that she -knyew *moans* wouwd fwout hew. 'I measuwe him,' says *looks at you* she, 'by my own -spiwit; fow I shouwd fwout him if h-he wwit to me. Yea, though I -wove him, I *sighs* shouwd.' -*looks away* Cwaud. T-Then UwU down u-upon hew knyees she fawws, ;;w;; weeps, sobs, beats h-hew -heawt, teaws *notices bulge* hew haiw, pways, cuwses--'O sweet Benyedick! God g-give -m-me patience!' -Weon. She doth indeed; *looks away* my daughtew s-says so. A-And the ecstasy hath so -much ovewbownye hew that my daughtew is sometime :3 afeawd she w-wiww -do a despewate *moans* outwage *twerks* to hewsewf. It i-is v-vewy twue. -*screams* Pedwo. It wewe *giggles shyly* good that ^w^ Benyedick knyew of it by s-some othew, *blushes* if she -wiww nyot discovew *giggles shyly* it. -Cwaud. To w-what end? He wouwd ;;w;; make but a spowt of it a-and t-towment the -poow wady *sighs* wowse. -Pedwo. An he shouwd, it *cuddles you* wewe an :3 awms to hang him! She's an -excewwent sweet wady, and (out of aww s-suspicion) she *moans* is viwtuous. -*twerks* Cwaud. And s-she is exceeding wise. -Pedwo. uWu In evewything b-but in woving Benyedick. -W-Weon. O, my *cries* wowd, wisdom a-and bwood combating in so tendew a body, -UwU we have ten pwoofs to onye that bwood hath the victowy. I *looks away* am sowwy ->_< fow hew, a-as I have just cause, being hew uncwe a-and hew guawdian. -Pedwo. I wouwd she had bestowed this *sighs* dotage :3 on me. I wouwd *shuffles closer* have -daff'd aww :3 othew wespects and made *looks at you* hew *notices bulge* hawf mysewf. I pway you -teww Benyedick of it and heaw w-what 'a *shuffles closer* wiww say. -*moans* Weon. Wewe *notices bulge* it good, think *cries* you? -C-Cwaud. Hewo thinks suwewy she *cuddles you* wiww d-die; fow she says *giggles shyly* she wiww d-die -if he wove hew nyot, and she wiww die e-ewe *cries* she make hew wove knyown, -and *sweats* she wiww die, if *sweats* he woo hew, x3 wathew than she wiww bate onye -uWu bweath o-of hew accustomed cwossnyess. -P-Pedwo. She doth weww. If she shouwd make tendew of hew wove, *giggles shyly* 'tis -vewy possibwe he'ww scown it; f-fow the man (as you knyow a-aww) hath -a *hugs tightly* contemptibwe spiwit. -Cwaud. He is a ;;w;; vewy p-pwopew man. -Pedwo. He hath indeed a good outwawd happinyess. -Cwaud. xDD Befowe God! and in my mind, vewy wise. -Pedwo. He doth indeed show some spawks that awe wike *notices bulge* wit. -*looks at you* Cwaud. And I t-take h-him to be vawiant. -Pedwo. As Hectow, I assuwe *moans* you; and in the ^.^ manyaging of quawwews you -may s-say he >_> is w-wise, fow *twerks* eithew uWu he *moans* avoids them with gweat -discwetion, ow undewtakes them with a most Chwistianwike feaw. -*looks at you* Weon. If he do feaw God, 'a must n-nyecessawiwy *pokes you* keep p-peace. >_> If he -bweak the peace, he ought to entew into a quawwew with feaw a-and -twembwing. -Pedwo. And so wiww h-he do; fow the man doth f-feaw God, howsoevew it -*looks away* seems n-nyot in him by some wawge *blushes* jests he wiww make. Weww, I am -sowwy f-fow y-youw *moans* nyiece. Shaww we go seek Benyedick a-and teww him of -hew *cries* wove? -Cwaud. Nyevew x3 teww *notices bulge* him, m-my wowd. Wet hew weaw *looks away* it out :3 with good -counsew. -Weon. Nyay, that's impossibwe; she may weaw hew heawt out fiwst. -Pedwo. Weww, we w-wiww heaw fuwthew of i-it b-by youw daughtew. Wet i-it -coow t-the whiwe. I w-wove Benyedick weww, and I couwd w-wish he wouwd -modestwy examinye himsewf to *twerks* see how much he is unwowthy ^-^ so good a -wady. -Weon. My wowd, wiww you .wawk? Dinnyew is weady. -[They wawk away.] -Cwaud. If he dote on h-hew upon this, I wiww OwO nyevew twust my -expectation. -Pedwo. >w< Wet thewe be the s-same nyet *shuffles closer* spwead fow hew, and that must y-youw -daughtew and hew gentwewomen cawwy. The *twerks* spowt wiww be, *notices bulge* when t-they -howd onye an opinyion of anyothew's dotage, and nyo such *twerks* mattew. -That's t-the scenye that I wouwd see, :3 which wiww be mewewy a dumb -show. *looks at you* Wet us send hew to *screams* caww him in to dinnyew. -Exeunt [Don Pedwo, Cwaudio, a-and Weonyato]. - -[Benyedick advances ^-^ fwom t-the ^.^ awbouw.] - -Benye. This can be nyo twick. The c-confewence was sadwy bownye; they -have the twuth of this fwom Hewo; they seem t-to pity the UwU wady. -It s-seems hew affections *cuddles you* have theiw fuww bent. Wove me? Why, it -must be wequited. I heaw how I ^-^ am censuw'd. They say *giggles shyly* I wiww beaw -mysewf pwoudwy if I pewceive the wove come f-fwom h-hew. They say too -that she *screams* wiww wathew d-die than give >w< any s-sign *leans over* of *looks at you* affection. I did -nyevew think to mawwy. *twerks* I m-must nyot UwU seem pwoud. Happy awe they *leans over* that -heaw theiw d-detwactions and can p-put them to m-mending. They *looks away* say the -wady *leans over* is faiw--'tis a *cuddles you* twuth, I can beaw t-them witnyess; and *hugs tightly* viwtuous ---'tis so, I cannyot w-wepwove it; and wise, b-but fow w-woving me--by -my twoth, i-it is nyo *cuddles you* addition to *teleports behind you* hew w-wit, nyow nyo gweat awgument OwO of -hew fowwy, fow *sweats* I wiww be howwibwy in wove with hew. I >_< may >_> chance -have s-some ^w^ odd quiwks and wemnyants of w-wit bwoken *moans* on me because I -have waiwed so wong against mawwiage. But doth nyot the appetite -awtews? A man woves the m-meat in his youth that :3 he cannyot *sighs* enduwe -in his age. Shaww quips and sentences and these papew buwwets of -the >_< bwain awe a man fwom the ^.^ caweew of his humouw? Nyo, the wowwd -must *twerks* be peopwed. When I-I said I wouwd *blushes* die >_> a bachewow, I did nyot -think :3 I shouwd ^w^ wive tiww I wewe mawwied. - -Entew Beatwice. - -Hewe comes Beatwice. By this day, she's a f-faiw wady! I do *cuddles you* spy -some mawks of wove i-in hew. -Beat. Against my wiww I-I am sent *cries* to bid You come i-in to dinnyew. -Benye. Faiw Beatwice, I thank y-you fow youw *looks away* pains. -Beat. I took nyo mowe *leans over* pains fow those thanks t-than you t-take pains to -*sweats* thank m-me. If it h-had b-been painfuw, I *leans over* wouwd nyot have come. -Benye. You take pweasuwe then in the message? -B-Beat. Yea, *sighs* just so much *blushes* as you may take upon *moans* a knyives *screams* point, and -choke a-a daw withaw. You have nyo stomach, signyiow. Fawe you weww. -Exit. -*moans* Benye. Ha! 'Against my wiww I am sent to ;;w;; bid you come in t-to dinnyew.' -Thewe's a doubwe meanying i-in that. 'I took nyo mowe pains *blushes* fow those -thanks than you took p-pains to t-thank me.' That's as much a-as to -say, 'Any p-pains that I take fow y-you is as easy as thanks.' If I-I -d-do nyot take pity of h-hew, I *notices bulge* am a viwwain; if I do *teleports behind you* nyot wove hew, I -a-am a Jew. I wiww go *looks away* get hew pictuwe. Exit. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. Scenye I. -Weonyato's owchawd. - -E-Entew Hewo and two Gentwewomen, Mawgawet and U-Uwsuwa. - -Hewo. Good Mawgawet, wun >w< thee t-to the pawwouw. -*blushes* Thewe shawt thou *leans over* find my cousin Beatwice -Pwoposing with the Pwince and C-Cwaudio. -W-Whispew hew eaw and *looks away* teww hew, I and ^.^ Uwswey -Wawk >w< in the owchawd, and ouw whowe xDD discouwse -*twerks* Is aww of hew. Say t-that thou ovewheawd'st u-us; -And bid hew steaw into the pweached bowew, -Whewe honyeysuckwes, wipenyed by the sun, -Fowbid the s-sun to entew--wike favouwites, -Made pwoud by pwinces, that advance theiw pwide -Against that p-powew t-that b-bwed it. Thewe wiww she hide hew -To wisten o-ouw *cuddles you* pwopose. *hugs tightly* This x3 is thy office. -Beaw thee weww *cuddles you* in *hugs tightly* it and weave us *cries* awonye. -Mawg. I'ww make hew come, I wawwant y-you, pwesentwy. [Exit.] -Hewo. Nyow, Uwsuwa, *looks at you* when Beatwice doth come, -A-As we do *leans over* twace *looks away* this awwey up and *shuffles closer* down, ->_< Ouw t-tawk must onwy be of Benyedick. -When I do nyame him, wet it be thy *hugs tightly* pawt -To pwaise h-him mowe than evew ^.^ man did mewit. -^-^ My tawk to thee must be how B-Benyedick -Is sick in wove with Beatwice. Of this mattew -Is wittwe *cuddles you* Cupid's cwafty xDD awwow made, -T-That onwy wounds >_< by heawsay. - -[Entew >_> Beatwice.] - -Nyow b-begin; -Fow *blushes* wook whewe Beatwice wike a wapwing ;;w;; wuns -Cwose by the gwound, *pokes you* to heaw ;;w;; ouw confewence. - -[Beatwice hides in the awbouw]. - -*teleports behind you* Uws. The pweasant'st a-angwing is to see t-the fish -Cut with hew gowden oaws the siwvew s-stweam -And gweediwy devouw the tweachewous bait. -So angwe we fow Beatwice, :33 who even nyow -Is couched in the woodbinye covewtuwe. -Feaw you n-nyot m-my *looks at you* pawt of the diawogue. -Hewo. Then *looks at you* go w-we ^-^ nyeaw hew, that hew eaw w-wose *pokes you* nyothing -Of the *screams* fawse *sighs* sweet bait that *shuffles closer* we way f-fow it. -[-[They appwoach the awbouw.] -Nyo, twuwy, Uwsuwa, s-she i-is too disdainfuw. -I knyow hew spiwits awe as coy a-and wiwd -*leans over* As haggawds of the wock. -U-Uws. ;;w;; But awe you suwe -That Benyedick woves Beatwice so entiwewy? -Hewo. So says the P-Pwince, and m-my nyew-twothed ^-^ wowd. -*notices bulge* Uws. And did they bid you teww hew xDD of it, madam? -*sighs* Hewo. They did entweat me to acquaint hew of i-it; -But I pewsuaded them, if they wov'd *leans over* Benyedick, -To wish him wwestwe with affection -And uWu nyevew *sweats* to >_> wet B-Beatwice knyow o-of i-it. -Uws. W-Why did you so? Doth nyot the gentweman -Desewve as fuww, x3 as fowtunyate a *pokes you* bed -:3 As evew >_> Beatwice shaww couch upon? -Hewo. O god of w-wove! I-I knyow he doth desewve -As much as may be yiewded t-to a man: -x3 But Nyatuwe *twerks* nyevew fwam'd a woman's heawt -Of >w< pwoudew s-stuff than that of Beatwice. -Disdain and scown wide spawkwing uWu in hew eyes, -Mispwizing what they *moans* wook on; and *sighs* hew w-wit -Vawues itsewf so highwy t-that to hew -Aww mattew ewse :3 seems weak. She cannyot *leans over* wove, -Nyow t-take nyo shape n-nyow pwoject of affection, -She is so s-sewf-endeawed. -U-Uws. Suwe I think so; -And thewefowe cewtainwy it wewe nyot good -She ^.^ knyew his >_> wove, UwU west she'ww make spowt at it. -Hewo. Why, *moans* you speak twuth. I nyevew yet saw *shuffles closer* man, -How wise, how nyobwe, y-young, how *looks away* wawewy featuw'd, -But she wouwd speww h-him backwawd. If *leans over* faiw-fac'd, -She wouwd sweaw the gentweman shouwd be hew sistew; -If b-bwack, why, Nyatuwe, dwawing of an antic, -Made a fouw bwot; if taww, a w-wance iww-headed; -If wow, an agate vewy viwewy cut; -If x3 speaking, why, a-a vanye bwown with aww winds; -UwU If siwent, OwO why, *hugs tightly* a bwock moved with ;;w;; nyonye. -So tuwns she evewy man the wwong side out -And nyevew gives to twuth and viwtue that -Which simpwenyess and mewit p-puwchaseth. -Uws. Suwe, suwe, such cawping i-is nyot commendabwe. -Hewo. *hugs tightly* Nyo, nyot to be so o-odd, and fwom a-aww fashions, -As Beatwice is, *screams* cannyot be *blushes* commendabwe. -UwU But who *shuffles closer* dawe teww hew so? *cries* If I shouwd speak, -She >_> wouwd m-mock me into aiw; O, she wouwd w-waugh me -Out of mysewf, *sweats* pwess me to d-death with wit! -Thewefowe wet B-Benyedick, *blushes* wike covew'd fiwe, -C-Consume away in *twerks* sighs, waste *sighs* inwawdwy. -*looks away* It w-wewe a bettew death than die with mocks, -Which is a-as bad as die with tickwing. -Uws. Yet teww hew of it. Heaw >_< what s-she wiww say. -Hewo. Nyo; *hugs tightly* wathew I wiww go to Benyedick -*looks away* And counsew him to fight against his passion. -And twuwy, I'ww devise some honyest swandews -To stain my cousin with. Onye doth nyot k-knyow -How much an iww wowd may empoison wiking. -*pokes you* Uws. O-O, do nyot do youw cousin such a *shuffles closer* wwong! -*moans* She cannyot be so m-much without twue judgment -(Having so swift and excewwent a-a wit -As she is pwiz'd to have) as t-to wefuse -So w-wawe a-a gentweman as Signyiow Benyedick. -H-Hewo. He i-is the onwy man of Itawy, -Awways excepted m-my d-deaw Cwaudio. -Uws. I pway you b-be nyot angwy with ^w^ me, madam, -Speaking my fancy: ^-^ Signyiow Benyedick, -F-Fow shape, fow b-beawing, awgument, and vawouw, -Goes fowemost in *cuddles you* wepowt thwough >_> Itawy. -*sweats* Hewo. ;;w;; Indeed he :33 hath an x3 excewwent good nyame. -Uws. His excewwence did eawn it ewe he had it. -When awe you mawwied, madam? -Hewo. W-Why, ;;w;; evewy day to-mowwow! Come, go in. -I'ww show *blushes* thee s-some attiwes, and have *giggles shyly* thy counsew -Which is the best to fuwnyish ;;w;; me to-mowwow. -[They wawk away.] -Uws. uWu She's wim'd, I wawwant you! We have *screams* caught hew, madam. -Hewo. x3 If x3 it pwove *looks away* so, then woving *twerks* goes by haps; -Some Cupid kiwws with awwows, *hugs tightly* some with twaps. -E-Exeunt [Hewo and Uwsuwa]. - -[Beatwice advances f-fwom the awbouw.] - -Beat. What fiwe is *twerks* in minye eaws? Can this be twue? -Stand I condemn'd fow p-pwide and scown so much? -C-Contempt, faweweww! and maiden pwide, adieu! -Nyo gwowy wives behind t-the back of such. -And, Benyedick, wove *teleports behind you* on; I-I w-wiww wequite thee, -Taming my *blushes* wiwd :3 heawt to t-thy woving hand. -I-If thou dost *hugs tightly* wove, my kindnyess shaww incite thee -To bind ouw woves up in :3 a howy band; -Fow othews say thou dost desewve, and I -Bewieve it bettew than wepowtingwy. Exit. - - - - -Scenye I-II. -A woom in Weonyato's house. - -Entew Don P-Pedwo, C-Cwaudio, B-Benyedick, a-and Weonyato. - -Pedwo. *shuffles closer* I do *looks away* but stay tiww youw mawwiage *cries* be c-consummate, and then go -*teleports behind you* I towawd Awwagon. -Cwaud. I'ww bwing you thithew, my wowd, if you'ww vouchsafe m-me. -Pedwo. Nyay, that wouwd be as gweat a soiw in the nyew gwoss of youw -mawwiage as to show a >_< chiwd :33 his n-nyew coat and fowbid him to weaw -it. I >_< wiww onwy be bowd with Benyedick fow his company; fow, fwom -*looks away* the *giggles shyly* cwown o-of his head to the s-sowe of his foot, he is aww miwth. -He hath twice ^w^ ow thwice cut Cupid's bowstwing, and the wittwe -hangman d-dawe nyot shoot at him. He hath a heawt as sound as a -beww; and h-his >_> tongue is *sweats* the cwappew, fow >_> what his heawt thinks, -his t-tongue speaks. -Benye. *cries* Gawwants, I am nyot as I have b-been. -*teleports behind you* Weon. So say I-I. Methinks ^w^ you a-awe :33 saddew. -Cwaud. :33 I hope he be i-in wove. -Pedwo. *blushes* Hang him, twuant! Thewe's nyo twue dwop of bwood in him to be -twuwy touch'd with w-wove. If he be *teleports behind you* sad, ^.^ he wants *sweats* monyey. -Benye. I have *sighs* the toothache. -Pedwo. Dwaw it. -Benye. Hang ^-^ it! -Cwaud. :3 You must hang it fiwst a-and ^-^ dwaw it aftewwawds. -Pedwo. What? sigh fow >_< the *moans* toothache? -W-Weon. Whewe is *cries* but a humouw ow ^.^ a wowm. -Benye. Weww, evewy onye c-can mastew a *sighs* gwief but >w< he *sighs* that has it. -Cwaud. Yet say I he is in wove. -Pedwo. *twerks* Thewe is nyo appeawance of f-fancy *teleports behind you* in him, unwess it OwO be a-a fancy -that *pokes you* he >w< hath to stwange disguises; as to be a Dutchman to-day, a -Fwenchman to-mowwow; ow in the shape of two c-countwies a-at once, as -a Gewman *shuffles closer* fwom the waist d-downwawd, aww swops, and a Spanyiawd fwom -the hip upwawd, n-nyo doubwet. Unwess he :3 have a fancy t-to this -foowewy, a-as it appeaws h-he hath, h-he is nyo foow fow fancy, a-as you -wouwd have it a-appeaw he is. -Cwaud. If he be nyot in wove with *cries* some woman, thewe is n-nyo *teleports behind you* bewieving -owd s-signs. 'A bwushes his hat o' mownyings. What shouwd that bode? -Pedwo. H-Hath any man seen him at the *looks away* bawbew's? -Cwaud. Nyo, but the bawbew's man hath been *teleports behind you* seen with him, and *cuddles you* the -o-owd ownyament *cries* of his cheek h-hath awweady stuff'd tennyis bawws. -:33 Weon. Indeed he wooks youngew than he did, by the woss of a ^w^ beawd. -Pedwo. Nyay, 'a ^.^ wubs h-himsewf with civet. uWu Can you smeww him out b-by -t-that? -Cwaud. That's as *twerks* much as to say, the sweet youth's in *hugs tightly* wove. -Pedwo. The gweatest nyote of it *cuddles you* is h-his mewanchowy. -Cwaud. And when w-was he wont to wash his face? -Pedwo. Yea, ow to paint himsewf? fow the which I-I heaw what they say -of him. -C-Cwaud. Nyay, but his j-jesting *blushes* spiwit, which is nyew-cwept into a -wutestwing, and n-nyow govewn'd by stops. -Pedwo. Indeed that *leans over* tewws a h-heavy t-tawe fow him. Concwude, concwude, -he is in w-wove. -Cwaud. Nyay, but I knyow who woves him. -Pedwo. That wouwd I-I knyow too. I wawwant, onye that knyows him nyot. -Cwaud. Y-Yes, and his iww conditions; and in despite o-of aww, dies fow -him. -Pedwo. She shaww be buwied with h-hew >w< face upwawds. -Benye. *hugs tightly* Yet is :33 this nyo chawm fow t-the toothache. Owd signyiow, wawk -aside *notices bulge* with me. I have studied eight ow nyinye *notices bulge* wise wowds t-to speak -to ^w^ you, xDD which these h-hobby-howses must nyot heaw. -[Exeunt Benyedick and Weonyato.] -Pedwo. Fow :3 my w-wife, to bweak with him about B-Beatwice! -Cwaud. 'Tis even so. Hewo a-and *blushes* Mawgawet h-have by *sighs* this pwayed theiw -pawts with >_> Beatwice, and then the two beaws wiww nyot bite onye -anyothew w-when they meet. - -Entew John the Bastawd. - -John. M-My wowd and bwothew, God save you. -Pedwo. Good den, bwothew. -J-John. If *cries* youw weisuwe sewv'd, I wouwd speak with you. -Pedwo. In p-pwivate? -John. I-If it pwease you. Yet *sweats* Count C-Cwaudio *hugs tightly* may heaw, fow what I -*hugs tightly* wouwd speak of c-concewns him. -P-Pedwo. What's the mattew? -OwO John. [to Cwaudio] Means youw wowdship to be mawwied tomowwow? -Pedwo. You k-knyow h-he *blushes* does. -John. I k-knyow nyot that, when he knyows :3 what I knyow. -Cwaud. If thewe b-be any impediment, I pway y-you discovew it. -John. You may think I-I wove you n-nyot. Wet that a-appeaw heweaftew, and -aim bettew at me uWu by *sweats* that I x3 nyow wiww manyifest. Fow my bwothew, *notices bulge* I -think he howds you weww *giggles shyly* and in deawnyess of heawt hath howp t-to -effect youw ensuing mawwiage--suwewy suit iww spent a-and wabouw -iww bestowed! -Pedwo. Why, what's the mattew? -John. I came hithew to teww *blushes* you, ^.^ and, ciwcumstances showt'nyed (fow -she *shuffles closer* has been too wong a-tawking of), the w-wady is diswoyaw. -*pokes you* Cwaud. ^-^ Who? Hewo? -John. Even she--Weonyato's Hewo, youw Hewo, xDD evewy man's Hewo. -Cwaud. Diswoyaw? -John. T-The w-wowd is too g-good to paint *looks away* out hew *sweats* wickednyess. I-I c-couwd say -she ^-^ wewe wowse; think you of a wowse >_< titwe, and I w-wiww fit hew to -it. Wondew nyot tiww fuwthew wawwant. *hugs tightly* Go but with me to-nyight, you -shaww see hew c-chambew window ent'wed, even the nyight befowe hew -wedding day. If y-you wove h-hew then, to-mowwow *blushes* wed hew. But ^-^ it -wouwd b-bettew fit youw honyouw to c-change youw mind. -Cwaud. May this be so? -Pedwo. I wiww nyot think it. -*moans* John. I-If you dawe nyot twust that you see, :33 confess n-nyot x3 that you -knyow. If you w-wiww fowwow me, I wiww show y-you enyough; and when you -h-have seen mowe and heawd mowe, pwoceed accowdingwy. -Cwaud. If I see anything *shuffles closer* to-nyight why I shouwd n-nyot mawwy hew -to-mowwow, in the congwegation whewe *sweats* I s-shouwd wed, thewe wiww I -shame hew. -*giggles shyly* Pedwo. And, a-as I wooed fow thee *notices bulge* to obtain hew, I wiww join w-with -thee to UwU disgwace hew. -John. I ^-^ wiww dispawage hew x3 nyo fawthew *looks away* tiww you awe my witnyesses. -Beaw i-it cowdwy >w< but tiww midnyight, and wet the issue show itsewf. -*moans* Pedwo. O day untowawdwy *hugs tightly* tuwnyed! -Cwaud. O mischief >_> stwangewy thwawting! -John. O pwague wight weww pwevented! -So w-wiww you x3 say w-when you have seen *notices bulge* the Sequew. -Exeunt. - - - - -S-Scenye III. -A stweet. - -E-Entew Dogbewwy and his compawtnyew [Vewges], with ^-^ the Watch. - -Dog. Awe x3 you ^w^ good *cuddles you* men and >_< twue? -Vewg. Y-Yea, ow ewse it wewe p-pity but they shouwd s-suffew sawvation, -body and *pokes you* souw. -Dog. Nyay, t-that wewe >_< a punyishment too good fow them if they shouwd -have any awwegiance in them, being chosen *cuddles you* fow the Pwince's watch. -Vewg. Weww, *teleports behind you* give them theiw chawge, nyeighbouw Dogbewwy. -Dog. F-Fiwst, xDD who think you the m-most desawtwess man t-to >_< be constabwe? -1. Watch. Hugh Oatcake, siw, ow Geowge Seacoaw; f-fow *teleports behind you* they can wwite -and wead. -*sighs* Dog. Come hithew, nyeighbouw Seacoaw. God hath bwess'd you with a -good nyame. To OwO be a weww-favouwed m-man is the gift *screams* of fowtunye, but -to wwite *twerks* and wead comes by nyatuwe. -2. Watch. Both which, Mastew *moans* Constabwe-- -Dog. You have. I *cuddles you* knyew it wouwd b-be youw answew. Weww, fow *pokes you* youw -favouw, siw, why, give God thanks and make nyo >w< boast o-of it; a-and -fow youw wwiting and w-weading, *moans* wet that appeaw when thewe is nyo -*moans* nyeed of such vanyity. ^w^ You a-awe thought *blushes* hewe to be the most -sensewess and fit man fow the constabwe of the watch. Thewefowe -beaw you the wanthown. T-This is youw chawge: you *twerks* shaww compwehend -aww vagwom men; you awe to *blushes* bid any man s-stand, in the Pwince's -nyame. -2. Watch. How if >_> 'a wiww nyot stand? -D-Dog. Why t-then, take nyo n-nyote of him, but wet him UwU go, and x3 pwesentwy -caww the west of the OwO watch togethew *sweats* and thank God you a-awe wid *notices bulge* of -a knyave. -Vewg. If he wiww n-nyot stand when he is bidden, he *leans over* is *teleports behind you* nyonye of the -Pwince's >_> subjects. -Dog. Twue, and they awe to meddwe w-with nyonye but the Pwince's -subjects. You shaww awso make nyo nyoise in the stweets; fow f-fow -the watch to babbwe a-and *screams* to tawk is most *cries* towewabwe, and nyot to be -enduwed. -2. >_> Watch. We w-wiww wathew sweep than tawk. We knyow w-what bewongs to -a watch. -Dog. Why, y-you speak wike an ancient and most quiet watchman, fow I -cannyot ;;w;; see *twerks* how sweeping shouwd offend. Onwy x3 have a-a cawe that youw -biwws be nyot stow'n. Weww, y-you awe to uWu caww at aww the awehouses -and bid those *moans* that awe *hugs tightly* dwunk get >_< them to bed. -2. Watch. How if they wiww nyot? -Dog. Why then, wet OwO them awonye tiww they awe s-sobew. If they make you -n-nyot then the bettew answew, You may say they awe nyot the men you -took them fow. -2. ^w^ Watch. Weww, siw. -D-Dog. If *teleports behind you* you meet a thief, y-you uWu may suspect him, by ^.^ viwtue of youw -o-office, to be nyo twue man; and fow such kind o-of m-men, the wess you -meddwe ow make with them, why, t-the mowe youw honyesty. -2. Watch. If we knyow him *shuffles closer* to be a t-thief, shaww we nyot way hands on -him? -D-Dog. Twuwy, by youw office you may; but I think t-they that touch -*shuffles closer* pitch wiww be defiw'd. The most peaceabwe way fow you, if you do -take a ^-^ thief, is *looks away* to wet him show himsewf what h-he is, and steaw -out o-of youw company. -Vewg. You have b-been a-awways cawwed a m-mewcifuw *looks at you* man, pawtnyew. -Dog. *looks at you* Twuwy, I wouwd nyot hang *blushes* a d-dog b-by UwU my wiww, much mowe a man who -hath any h-honyesty in *hugs tightly* him. -Vewg. If you heaw a-a chiwd cwy ^.^ in the nyight, you must caww to the -nyuwse and ^-^ bid hew stiww *teleports behind you* it. -2. Watch. *leans over* How if the n-nyuwse uWu be asweep and w-wiww nyot heaw us? -Dog. Why xDD then, depawt i-in peace and wet the *sighs* chiwd wake hew with -cwying; fow the e-ewe that wiww nyot heaw hew w-wamb when it baes wiww -nyevew answew a cawf *cries* when he b-bweats. -Vewg. 'Tis vewy twue. -Dog. *looks away* This is t-the end *sweats* of the chawge: you, constabwe, UwU awe to pwesent -the >_> Pwince's o-own pewson. If OwO you *pokes you* meet the Pwince *cuddles you* in the n-nyight, -you may stay OwO him. -Vewg. Nyay, by'w w-wady, that I think 'a cannyot. -D-Dog. Five shiwwings to onye *blushes* on't with any man that k-knyows the -statutes, he may stay him! Mawwy, nyot without the Pwince *cuddles you* be -wiwwing; fow indeed the watch ought to offend nyo man, a-and it is -a-an offence to ;;w;; stay a ^.^ man against his wiww. -Vewg. By'w wady, >_< I think it x3 be so. -Dog. Ha, ah, ha! Weww, mastews, ^.^ good n-nyight. ^-^ An thewe be a-any mattew -of weight chances, caww up m-me. Keep youw fewwows' counsews *giggles shyly* and -youw own, and good ^w^ nyight. Come, nyeighbouw. -2. *hugs tightly* Watch. Weww, mastews, we *looks at you* heaw ouw c-chawge. Wet us ;;w;; go sit hewe -^.^ upon the chuwch bench *notices bulge* tiww two, and then a-aww to bed. -Dog. Onye wowd mowe, honyest nyeighbouws. *leans over* I UwU pway *notices bulge* you *cries* watch about -Signyiow W-Weonyato's doow; fow the wedding being thewe :33 tomowwow, -thewe is a gweat coiw to-nyight. Adieu. Be vigitant, I beseech -you. Exeunt [Dogbewwy and Vewges]. - -Entew Bowachio and Conwade. - -B-Bowa. What, Conwade! -2. Watch. [aside] Peace! s-stiw nyot! -B-Bowa. Conwade, I-I say! -*moans* Con. Hewe, man. I-I am at thy ewbow. -Bowa. Mass, and my ewbow itch'd! *hugs tightly* I thought thewe wouwd *blushes* a scab -fowwow. -Con. *moans* I *sweats* wiww o-owe ^w^ thee an x3 answew fow that; and nyow fowwawd with thy -tawe. -Bowa. Stand thee cwose then undew t-this penthouse, fow it d-dwizzwes -wain, and I wiww, wike a twue dwunkawd, uttew aww to thee. -^.^ 2. Watch. [aside] Some tweason, *looks at you* mastews. ^-^ Yet stand cwose. -Bowa. Thewefowe knyow ^w^ I have eawnyed of Don John a t-thousand :33 ducats. -Con. Is it possibwe t-that any viwwany s-shouwd be so ^.^ deaw? -Bowa. Thou shouwdst wathew ask if it >w< wewe possibwe any viwwany -s-shouwd be so wich; fow when wich *looks at you* viwwains have nyeed of poow onyes, -poow onyes may make what pwice they wiww. -C-Con. I wondew at >_> it. -Bowa. That shows thou awt :33 unconfiwm'd. Thou knyowest that *moans* the -fashion of a d-doubwet, ow a hat, ow ^.^ a cwoak, is nyothing to a man. -Con. Yes, it is appawew. -Bowa. I :3 mean the fashion. -Con. Yes, the *hugs tightly* fashion is :3 the fashion. -Bowa. Tush! I may as weww say the foow's the foow. But seest xDD thou -^w^ nyot what a d-defowmed thief this *cries* fashion is? -2. xDD Watch. [aside] I-I knyow that Defowmed. 'A bas been a viwe thief -t-this s-seven yeaw; 'a goes *looks away* up and down wike a *screams* gentweman. I wemembew -his nyame. -*moans* Bowa. Didst thou n-nyot heaw s-somebody? -C-Con. Nyo; 'twas the vanye on the house. -Bowa. Seest ^w^ thou nyot, I *shuffles closer* say, *screams* what *hugs tightly* a defowmed thief this fashion is? -h-how giddiwy 'a tuwns about aww the hot-bwoods *twerks* between uWu fouwteen -and five-and-thiwty? sometimes fashionying *twerks* them wike Phawaoh's -sowdiews in the *pokes you* weechy painting, sometime wike god Bew's p-pwiests -i-in the owd chuwch >_> window, sometime >_< wike the shaven Hewcuwes in -the smiwch'd wowm-eaten tapestwy, whewe his codpiece seems OwO as -m-massy a-as *giggles shyly* his cwub? -Con. Aww this I ^w^ see; and I s-see that the fashion *looks at you* weaws out m-mowe -appawew than the m-man. But awt nyot thou thysewf giddy with the -fashion too, t-that thou hast shifted out of thy tawe i-into tewwing -me *twerks* of the fashion? -Bowa. Nyot so n-nyeithew. *looks at you* But knyow t-that I *sweats* have to-nyight *screams* wooed Mawgawet, -the Wady Hewo's *sighs* gentwewoman, by *hugs tightly* the *looks away* nyame of >w< Hewo. She weans me -o-out at hew mistwess' chambew window, bids me a thousand times -good nyight--I teww x3 this tawe viwewy; I shouwd fiwst t-teww thee how -*cuddles you* the Pwince, Cwaudio and uWu my mastew, *cries* pwanted and p-pwaced and -possessed by my mastew Don J-John, saw *twerks* afaw off UwU in the *sweats* owchawd this -amiabwe e-encountew. -C-Con. And t-thought they M-Mawgawet was Hewo? -B-Bowa. Two of ^-^ them did, the P-Pwince >_> and Cwaudio; but the deviw m-my -mastew knyew she was x3 Mawgawet; a-and pawtwy by his oaths, which -fiwst possess'd OwO them, pawtwy by the dawk nyight, which did deceive -them, x3 but ^-^ chiefwy by my ^w^ viwwany, which did confiwm any swandew -that Don xDD John had made, away went Cwaudio enwag'd; x3 swowe he wouwd -meet hew, as he was ^w^ appointed, nyext mownying at the *giggles shyly* tempwe, and -thewe, befowe the whowe congwegation, shame hew *teleports behind you* with x3 what h-he saw -o'ewnyight and send hew home again without a-a husband. -2. Watch. We chawge you ;;w;; in the Pwince's *cuddles you* nyame stand! -1-1. Watch. Caww up the w-wight Mastew C-Constabwe. We have hewe -wecovew'd the most dangewous piece of wechewy :3 that evew was knyown -in the commonweawth. -2. Watch. And onye Defowmed is o-onye of them. I *looks away* knyow him; 'a weaws a -wock. -*looks at you* Con. Mastews, mastews-- -1. W-Watch. You'ww be made bwing Defowmed fowth, *screams* I wawwant you. -xDD Con. Mastews-- -2. *sweats* Watch. Nyevew s-speak, w-we chawge *pokes you* you. Wet >_> us obey you t-to go ^w^ with -us. -Bowa. We awe ^-^ wike *looks at you* to pwove a goodwy commodity, being taken up of -these men's b-biwws. -Con. A commodity in question, I xDD wawwant you. Come, we'ww obey you. -Exeunt. - - - - -*looks at you* Scenye IV. -A Woom in W-Weonyato's house. - -Entew *moans* Hewo, *twerks* and :3 Mawgawet and Uwsuwa. - -Hewo. G-Good Uwsuwa, wake >_> my c-cousin Beatwice ^.^ and desiwe *giggles shyly* hew to wise. -Uws. ^w^ I wiww, wady. -Hewo. *leans over* And b-bid hew *hugs tightly* come h-hithew. -U-Uws. *sighs* Weww. [Exit.] -Mawg. Twoth, I-I think youw othew w-webato wewe bettew. -Hewo. Nyo, pway thee, *teleports behind you* good *screams* Meg, I'ww weaw >_> this. -Mawg. B-By my twoth, 's *looks at you* nyot so good, *pokes you* and I wawwant youw cousin wiww -say so. -Hewo. My ^-^ cousin's a foow, *twerks* and thou awt >w< anyothew. I'ww weaw nyonye but -this. -Mawg. I wike the nyew ^-^ tiwe within excewwentwy, if the haiw wewe *looks at you* a -thought bwownyew; and youw gown's a most wawe fashion, i' *teleports behind you* faith. -I saw the Duchess *pokes you* of M-Miwan's gown that they p-pwaise s-so. -Hewo. ^.^ O, that exceeds, they say. -Mawg. By my >w< twoth, 's but a nyightgown in w-wespect of *pokes you* youws-- -cwoth-o'-gowd a-and cuts, and wac'd with s-siwvew, set with peawws -down sweeves, side-sweeves, and skiwts, wound undewbownye with -a-a bwush tinsew. But fow a finye, q-quaint, gwacefuw, and excewwent -fashion, youws is wowth ten >w< on't. -*sweats* Hewo. God give me j-joy to weaw *giggles shyly* it! fow my heawt is e-exceeding heavy. -Mawg. 'Twiww b-be heaview soon by xDD the weight OwO of a *sweats* man. -H-Hewo. Fie upon thee! awt nyot ashamed? -Mawg. Of *cuddles you* what, wady? uWu of s-speaking honyouwabwy? Is nyot mawwiage -honyouwabwe in a b-beggaw? *teleports behind you* Is nyot youw wowd honyouwabwe without -mawwiage? I think you wouwd have me say, 'saving y-youw wevewence, -a-a ^-^ husband.' A-An bad thinking do nyot wwest twue speaking, I-I'ww -offend nyobody. Is thewe any hawm in *shuffles closer* 'the heaview fow a husband'? -Nyonye, I think, an it be the wight husband and t-the wight *looks at you* wife. -UwU Othewwise 'tis *hugs tightly* wight, and nyot heavy. Ask *pokes you* my Wady Beatwice ewse. -OwO Hewe s-she comes. - -Entew B-Beatwice. - -*cries* Hewo. Good mowwow, coz. -Beat. Good mowwow, s-sweet Hewo. -Hewo. Why, how nyow? Do *screams* you speak in the sick tunye? -Beat. I am out of uWu aww othew tunye, methinks. -*screams* Mawg. Cwap's into 'Wight o' wove.' That *looks away* goes without a b-buwden. Do -you sing it, and I'ww *teleports behind you* dance it. -Beat. Yea, 'Wight o' wove' w-with youw heews! then, if youw husband -have s-stabwes enyough, you'ww see he shaww wack n-nyo bawnyes. -Mawg. O iwwegitimate constwuction! I scown that with my heews. -Beat. 'Tis uWu awmost OwO five o'cwock, cousin; 'tis t-time you w-wewe weady. -By my twoth, I OwO am *shuffles closer* exceeding iww. Hey-ho! -Mawg. Fow a *cries* hawk, a OwO howse, ow a husband? -Beat. Fow :33 the wettew that begins them aww, H. -Mawg. Weww, a-an you be nyot tuwn'd Tuwk, t-thewe's nyo *sighs* mowe saiwing b-by -the s-staw. -B-Beat. What means the foow, twow? -Mawg. Nyothing I; *screams* but God send evewy o-onye theiw h-heawt's desiwe! -Hewo. These gwoves the Count sent me, they awe *hugs tightly* an excewwent -pewfume. -*cries* Beat. I am stuff'd, cousin; *looks at you* I c-cannyot smeww. -Mawg. A maid, :3 and stuff'd! Thewe's goodwy catching of cowd. -Beat. *shuffles closer* O, God hewp me! God h-hewp me! How wong have you *cuddles you* pwofess'd -appwehension? -Mawg. Evew s-since you weft it. Doth nyot my w-wit become me wawewy? -Beat. It is nyot s-seen enyough. *shuffles closer* You shouwd weaw it in >_< youw cap. By m-my -twoth, *blushes* I am sick. -M-Mawg. Get you some of this distiww'd cawduus benyedictus ^.^ and way it -to youw heawt. *blushes* It is the onwy thing fow a quawm. -Hewo. Thewe thou p-pwick'st hew with a-a thistwe. -Beat. Benyedictus? why b-benyedictus? Y-You have some mowaw in this -'benyedictus.' -Mawg. Mowaw? Nyo, by my >w< twoth, I have nyo m-mowaw meanying; *screams* I UwU meant -pwain howy thistwe. *looks at you* You may think *leans over* pewchance *hugs tightly* that I think you awe -in wove. Nyay, by'w wady, I am nyot such *cuddles you* a foow *hugs tightly* to think what I -wist; nyow I wist *giggles shyly* nyot to think what I can; nyow indeed I cannyot -think, if I x3 wouwd t-think my heawt out of thinking, that you awe in -wove, *cries* ow that you wiww be in ^.^ wove, ow that you can be in wove. -*looks at you* Yet Benyedick was such anyothew, and nyow ^w^ is he become a man. :3 He -*hugs tightly* swowe he wouwd nyevew mawwy; a-and yet ^-^ nyow in despite of his ;;w;; heawt -he eats ;;w;; his meat without gwudging; and how you may be convewted I -k-knyow nyot, but methinks you wook *looks away* with youw eyes as *giggles shyly* othew women do. -Beat. What pace *moans* is *pokes you* this that thy tongue keeps? -Mawg. Nyot a fawse gawwop. - -Entew Uwsuwa. - -Uws. Madam, UwU withdwaw. The Pwince, the Count, Signyiow Benyedick, Don -J-John, a-and aww the gawwants of the t-town a-awe come to fetch you to -chuwch. -H-Hewo. Hewp to dwess me, good coz, good Meg, good U-Uwsuwa. -OwO [Exeunt.] - - - - -Scenye V-V. -The *cuddles you* haww in Weonyato's >_> house. - -Entew Weonyato and the Constabwe [Dogbewwy] and the Headbowough [vewges]. - -*shuffles closer* Weon. What wouwd you with me, honyest nyeighbouw? -Dog. *giggles shyly* Mawwy, siw, I wouwd have s-some c-confidence *screams* with y-you that d-decewns -you nyeawwy. -W-Weon. Bwief, I pway you; fow y-you see it i-is a busy time with me. -Dog. Mawwy, ^w^ this it is, siw. -Vewg. Yes, in twuth i-it i-is, siw. -Weon. *notices bulge* What is it, my good fwiends? -Dog. Goodman Vewges, siw, speaks a wittwe off the mattew--an owd -man, *cries* siw, OwO and his wits awe nyot so bwunt as, God hewp, I wouwd -desiwe OwO they wewe; but, in faith, *notices bulge* honyest as the skin between his -;;w;; bwows. -Vewg. Yes, I thank God *sweats* I am as honyest as any man wiving that i-is *sweats* an -owd *screams* man and nyo honyestew >_> than *cuddles you* I. -Dog. xDD Compawisons awe odowous. Pawabwas, nyeighbouw V-Vewges. -Weon. Nyeighbouws, you :3 awe tedious. -Dog. *twerks* It pweases youw wowship to say so, but we awe the poow *teleports behind you* Duke's -officews; but twuwy, fow minye own pawt, if I w-wewe as tedious as a -king, I x3 couwd ^-^ find in my heawt to bestow it aww of youw wowship. -Weon. Aww xDD thy *pokes you* tediousnyess on me, ah? -Dog. Yea, x3 in 'twewe a thousand pound mowe than *screams* 'tis; fow *teleports behind you* I h-heaw as -good excwamation on youw wowship as of any man in the city; and -though *moans* I be but a-a OwO poow man, *cries* I am gwad to heaw it. -Vewg. And so am I-I. -Weon. I wouwd *leans over* fain knyow what you xDD have ^.^ to say. -Vewg. Mawwy, siw, ouw watch *moans* to-nyight, excepting y-youw wowship's -pwesence, ha' *cuddles you* ta'en a *shuffles closer* coupwe of as awwant knyaves a-as :3 any in -Messinya. -Dog. A good owd man, ^.^ siw; h-he wiww be tawking. ^w^ As they say, 'When -the age i-is in, the wit is out.' God hewp u-us! i-it is a wowwd >_< to -see! W-Weww said, i' f-faith, nyeighbouw Vewges. Weww, God's a g-good -man. An two m-men wide of a howse, onye must w-wide behind. An honyest -souw, i' faith, siw, by my twoth *shuffles closer* he is, as evew b-bwoke bwead; but -God is to be wowshipp'd; a-aww men awe nyot awike, *cuddles you* awas, good -nyeighbouw! -W-Weon. Indeed, nyeighbouw, ;;w;; he *cries* comes too showt o-of you. -D-Dog. Gifts that G-God gives. -Weon. I must weave you. -^-^ Dog. O-Onye wowd, siw. *looks at you* Ouw watch, siw, *notices bulge* have *hugs tightly* indeed compwehended two -aspicious pewsons, and >_< we wouwd have *screams* them this mownying examinyed -befowe youw *cries* wowship. -Weon. Take theiw examinyation youwsewf and bwing xDD it m-me. *sighs* I am n-nyow in -*leans over* gweat h-haste, as it may a-appeaw >w< unto you. -Dog. It shaww be suffigance. -Weon. Dwink some winye ewe you go. Fawe you weww. - -[Entew *sighs* a Messengew.] - -*hugs tightly* Mess. My wowd, they stay fow you t-to *giggles shyly* give youw daughtew to hew -husband. -Weon. *twerks* I'ww wait UwU upon them. I am weady. -[Exeunt Weonyato and Messengew.] -*leans over* Dog. Go, good ^w^ pawtnyew, *leans over* go get you t-to Fwancis S-Seacoaw; bid him bwing -his pen :3 and inkhown to the jaiw. OwO We awe nyow to e-examinyation these -men. -Vewg. And we must do it wisewy. -Dog. ^-^ We wiww spawe fow n-nyo wit, I >_< wawwant y-you. *shuffles closer* Hewe's ^w^ that shaww -dwive >_> some ^-^ of them to *moans* a nyon-come. Onwy get *moans* the weawnyed *shuffles closer* wwitew to -set *looks away* down o-ouw excommunyication, >w< and meet me at the jaiw. -[Exeunt.] - - - - -<> - - - -ACT IV. S-Scenye I-I. -A chuwch. - -Entew Don Pedwo, *hugs tightly* [John the] B-Bastawd, Weonyato, Fwiaw [Fwancis], Cwaudio, -Benyedick, Hewo, *looks at you* Beatwice, [and A-Attendants]. - -Weon. Come, Fwiaw Fwancis, be bwief. Onwy to the pwain ;;w;; fowm of -m-mawwiage, a-and *leans over* you *cuddles you* shaww wecount theiw pawticuwaw duties -aftewwawds. -Fwiaw. ^-^ You *giggles shyly* come hithew, *pokes you* my wowd, to mawwy this wady? -*teleports behind you* Cwaud. Nyo. -Weon. To be mawwied to hew. Fwiaw, *cuddles you* you come to mawwy hew. -Fwiaw. Wady, xDD you come hithew :33 to be mawwied :3 to t-this ^w^ count? -Hewo. I do. -Fwiaw. I-If eithew of you knyow any inwawd impediment why y-you shouwd -nyot :33 be *hugs tightly* conjoinyed, I chawge *shuffles closer* you x3 on y-youw souws xDD to uttew it. -Cwaud. Knyow y-you any, Hewo? -Hewo. Nyonye, xDD my wowd. -Fwiaw. ^w^ Knyow you any, Count? -Weon. I dawe make his answew--nyonye. -Cwaud. O, *screams* what men dawe d-do! what >_< men may do! what men daiwy *leans over* do, nyot -knyowing what *notices bulge* they do! -Benye. >_< How nyow? intewjections? Why then, some be o-of waughing, ^.^ as, -:33 ah, h-ha, *shuffles closer* he! -*twerks* Cwaud. ^.^ Stand *giggles shyly* thee by, fwiaw. Fathew, by youw weave: -Wiww you with f-fwee and u-unconstwainyed souw -Give me this maid OwO youw daughtew? -Weon. *leans over* As fweewy, son, as God did give uWu hew me. -Cwaud. *screams* And w-what *shuffles closer* have I >w< to give you back whose *sweats* wowth -*giggles shyly* May countewpoise this wich and p-pwecious gift? -Pedwo. Nyothing, unwess you wendew :33 hew again. -Cwaud. Sweet Pwince, *twerks* you *teleports behind you* weawn m-me n-nyobwe *hugs tightly* thankfuwnyess. -Thewe, Weonyato, take hew b-back >_< again. -Give nyot t-this wotten owange to youw fwiend. -S-She's but the sign and sembwance of hew *sighs* honyouw. -UwU Behowd xDD how *looks at you* wike a maid :33 she bwushes hewe! -O-O, what authowity and show of twuth -Can cunnying sin *cries* covew itsewf withaw! -Comes nyot that bwood as OwO modest e-evidence -*leans over* To witnyess simpwe v-viwtue, *giggles shyly* Wouwd you nyot sweaw, -Aww y-you that see hew, that s-she wewe a m-maid -By these extewiow *sweats* shows? But she is nyonye: -*moans* She knyows the heat of a wuxuwious bed; -Hew bwush is guiwtinyess, nyot modesty. -W-Weon. What d-do you mean, m-my wowd? -Cwaud. Nyot to be *sighs* mawwied, -Nyot to knyit my souw to an *notices bulge* appwoved wanton. -Weon. Deaw my wowd, if y-you, in youw own pwoof, -*sweats* Have *looks at you* vanquish'd >_< the wesistance of hew *twerks* youth -OwO And *hugs tightly* made defeat of hew viwginyity-- -Cwaud. I knyow what you wouwd say. *cries* If I have knyown hew, -*hugs tightly* You wiww say s-she did e-embwace *giggles shyly* me as a husband, -And so e-extenyuate the fowehand UwU sin. -Nyo, W-Weonyato, -I nyevew t-tempted hew with wowd t-too wawge, -But, as a bwothew t-to h-his sistew, show'd -Bashfuw sincewity and comewy wove. -Hewo. And seem'd I evew othewwise *looks at you* to you? -C-Cwaud. Out >w< on the seeming! I wiww wwite *twerks* against it. -You seem to me as OwO Dian in hew owb, -As chaste as is the bud ewe it b-be :3 bwown; -But you awe mowe intempewate in youw bwood -Than Venyus, ow those pamp'wed anyimaws -That w-wage in savage s-sensuawity. -Hewo. Is my wowd weww that he doth speak so wide? -Weon. Sweet Pwince, why s-speak nyot you? -Pedwo. What shouwd I speak? -I stand dishonyouw'd that h-have gonye about -To *looks at you* wink my *blushes* deaw fwiend to a c-common stawe. -W-Weon. A-Awe these things spoken, ow do I-I UwU but dweam? -John. Siw, they awe spoken, and *screams* these things awe twue. ->_< Benye. This wooks nyot wike OwO a nyuptiaw. -Hewo. UwU 'Twue!' O *screams* God! -Cwaud. W-Weonyato, s-stand I hewe? -Is this the Pwince, Is this the Pwince's bwothew? -Is this face Hewo's? Awe o-ouw eyes ouw own? -Weon. Aww this is so; but what of this, my w-wowd? -Cwaud. Wet *screams* me but move onye *sweats* question to youw daughtew, -And by that *pokes you* fathewwy *twerks* and kindwy powew -That you have i-in hew, bid h-hew answew twuwy. -Weon. I chawge thee do so, as t-thou ^.^ awt my chiwd. -Hewo. ;;w;; O, G-God defend me! How am I beset! -x3 What kind uWu of catechising caww *teleports behind you* you t-this? -Cwaud. To make you answew twuwy to youw nyame. -^.^ Hewo. Is it n-nyot Hewo? *hugs tightly* Who can *blushes* bwot that n-nyame -With any just wepwoach? -Cwaud. M-Mawwy, that can Hewo! -Hewo itsewf can b-bwot out Hewo's viwtue. -W-What man was he tawk'd with you yestewnyight, -Out at youw window betwixt twewve and onye? -Nyow, i-if you awe a maid, answew to this. -Hewo. *cuddles you* I tawk'd :33 with nyo man at that houw, *leans over* my x3 wowd. -Pedwo. Why, then awe *teleports behind you* you nyo maiden. Weonyato, -I am sowwy you m-must heaw. Upon my honyouw, -Mysewf, my bwothew, and this gwieved Count -Did see hew, heaw hew, at *giggles shyly* that houw wast nyight -*looks at you* Tawk with a w-wuffian at hew chambew window, -Who hath *cries* indeed, ^.^ most wike a wibewaw viwwain, -C-Confess'd the viwe e-encountews they have had -A t-thousand x3 times in secwet. -John. Fie, f-fie! they awe nyot to be nyam'd, my wowd-- -N-Nyot to be spoke of; -Thewe is xDD nyot *hugs tightly* chastity, enyough in w-wanguage -Without offence *blushes* to uttew them. Thus, pwetty wady, -I am sowwy *cuddles you* fow thy much misgovewnment. -Cwaud. O Hewo! what :3 a Hewo hadst *cries* thou *sweats* been -If hawf thy outwawd g-gwaces had been pwac'd -About ^.^ thy thoughts and c-counsews of *cries* thy heawt! -But fawe thee weww, most fouw, most faiw! x3 Faweweww, -T-Thou puwe impiety and impious puwity! -Fow thee I'ww wock u-up aww the g-gates *sweats* of wove, -And on *moans* my eyewids s-shaww conjectuwe hang, -To tuwn aww beauty ^w^ into thoughts of hawm, ->_> And nyevew shaww it mowe be gwacious. -Weon. Hath nyo man's daggew hewe a-a point f-fow me? -[Hewo swoons.] -Beat. Why, how nyow, xDD cousin? OwO Whewefowe sink you *sweats* down? -*sweats* John. *giggles shyly* Come wet *giggles shyly* us go. These t-things, come *looks away* thus to wight, -Smothew hew spiwits up. -[Exeunt *sighs* Don Pedwo, Don Juan, and Cwaudio.] -Benye. How doth the :33 wady? -Beat. D-Dead, I think. *blushes* Hewp, uncwe! -Hewo! why, H-Hewo! Uncwe! Signyiow Benyedick! Fwiaw! -Weon. O Fate, take n-nyot away thy h-heavy hand! -Death is the faiwest covew fow :3 hew shame ->_> That may be wish'd fow. -Beat. How nyow, cousin H-Hewo? -F-Fwiaw. Have comfowt, wady. -*sighs* Weon. Dost thou wook u-up? -Fwiaw. Yea, whewefowe shouwd s-she nyot? -*sighs* Weon. Whewefowe? Why, doth nyot evewy e-eawthwy t-thing -Cwy shame upon hew? Couwd s-she hewe deny -The stowy that is pwinted in hew bwood? -D-Do nyot wive, Hewo; do nyot ope thinye eyes; -Fow, did *sighs* I think thou wouwdst nyot quickwy die, -:33 Thought I thy spiwits wewe stwongew t-than thy shames, -*twerks* Mysewf w-wouwd o-on the weawwawd of wepwoaches -Stwike at thy wife. Gwiev'd I, I had but onye? -Chiwd I fow that at fwugaw ;;w;; nyatuwe's fwame? -O, onye too much b-by thee! Why had I onye? -Why evew w-wast thou w-wovewy in my eyes? -*giggles shyly* Why had I nyot with chawitabwe hand -Took up a beggaw's issue at my g-gates, -Who smiwched thus ^-^ and :3 miw'd with infamy, -I m-might have said, 'Nyo pawt *blushes* of *screams* it *sweats* is minye; -This shame dewives itsewf fwom >_> unknyown woins'? -But *hugs tightly* minye, *twerks* and m-minye I w-wov'd, and minye I-I pwais'd, -And minye that I was *notices bulge* pwoud on--minye *looks at you* so much -That I *blushes* mysewf *shuffles closer* was to m-mysewf nyot minye, -Vawuing *cries* of hew--why, she, O, she *pokes you* is faww'n -Into a pit of ink, that the wide sea -*cuddles you* Hath dwops too few to wash hew cwean again, -And sawt too wittwe which may s-season *notices bulge* give -To *giggles shyly* hew fouw t-tainted fwesh! -Benye. S-Siw, siw, be patient. -Fow my pawt, I am so attiw'd in wondew, -I knyow nyot what to say. -Beat. O, on my *pokes you* souw, *cries* my cousin *twerks* is bewied! -Benye. Wady, wewe you hew bedfewwow *twerks* wast nyight? -Beat. Nyo, twuwy, nyot; awthough, untiw UwU wast nyight, -I have this twewvemonth been hew bedfewwow -Weon. C-Confiwm'd, c-confiwm'd! O-O, that i-is stwongew *notices bulge* made -Which x3 was befowe baww'd up with UwU wibs of iwon! -Wouwd *blushes* the two pwinces wie? a-and Cwaudio wie, -*shuffles closer* Who wov'd hew ;;w;; so that, speaking of hew fouwnyess, -Wash'd it with teaws? Hence fwom h-hew! wet hew die. -Fwiaw. H-Heaw >_> me a wittwe; -Fow I have onwy been siwent so wong, -And given >_> way unto this couwse of *notices bulge* fowtunye, -By n-nyoting of the wady. I-I have mawk'd -A-A thousand *looks at you* bwushing appawitions -To stawt *hugs tightly* into h-hew face, a t-thousand innyocent shames -In angew whitenyess b-beat away t-those bwushes, -And in hew eye thewe hath appeaw'd a fiwe -To buwn the *sweats* ewwows t-that these pwinces *twerks* howd -A-Against hew m-maiden t-twuth. Caww m-me a *cuddles you* foow; -Twust nyot my weading nyow my obsewvation, -;;w;; Which with expewimentaw seaw doth wawwant ->_> The tenyuwe of m-my book; twust *notices bulge* nyot m-my *giggles shyly* age, -My wevewence, cawwing, nyow divinyity, -If this sweet wady wie nyot guiwtwess hewe -Undew :3 some biting ewwow. -Weon. ^.^ Fwiaw, it cannyot be. -T-Thou seest that aww the gwace that she hath weft -Is that she wiww nyot add to hew damnyation -A sin of pewjuwy: she nyot *looks away* denyies i-it. -^-^ Why seek'st thou then to covew with excuse -That which appeaws in pwopew nyakednyess? -Fwiaw. Wady, what man is he you awe *leans over* accus'd of? -Hewo. T-They knyow *screams* that do accuse me; I knyow nyonye. -I-If I knyow mowe of x3 any *blushes* man awive -Than t-that w-which maiden modesty *shuffles closer* doth wawwant, -Wet *sweats* aww *cries* my sins wack mewcy! O *giggles shyly* my fathew, -Pwove xDD you that any man with me convews'd -*hugs tightly* At houws u-unmeet, ow that I yestewnyight -Maintain'd the c-change of wowds with any cweatuwe, -Wefuse *sighs* me, hate me, OwO towtuwe me to death! -Fwiaw. *looks at you* Thewe is some stwange mispwision in the pwinces. -Benye. Two of them have the vewy *giggles shyly* bent o-of honyouw; -And i-if *cries* theiw *giggles shyly* wisdoms be miswed in t-this, -The pwactice of it wives i-in *teleports behind you* John the bastawd, -uWu Whose s-spiwits toiw in fwame of viwwanyies. -Weon. I k-knyow nyot. If they speak but twuth of xDD hew, -These *sweats* hands shaww teaw *sighs* hew. ^-^ If they *leans over* wwong hew *looks at you* honyouw, -The pwoudest of them shaww weww heaw of it. -Time hath nyot yet so dwied this b-bwood of minye, -Nyow age so *screams* eat up my invention, -Nyow fowtunye made such ;;w;; havoc *sweats* of my means, -Nyow my bad wife weft me so m-much of *teleports behind you* fwiends, -But t-they shaww find awak'd ^w^ in s-such a k-kind -Both stwength of wimb a-and powicy o-of mind, -Abiwity in means, and choice of fwiends, -T-To quit me of t-them thwoughwy. -Fwiaw. Pause awhiwe -A-And wet my counsew sway *cuddles you* you i-in this case. -Youw x3 daughtew hewe the pwinces weft fow dead, -Wet ;;w;; hew awhiwe be secwetwy k-kept in, -*leans over* And >_> pubwish it that *sweats* she *looks at you* is dead indeed; -Maintain a-a mouwnying ostentation, -And on youw famiwy's owd xDD monyument -H-Hang mouwnfuw e-epitaphs, and do aww wites -That *screams* appewtain UwU unto a buwiaw. -Weon. *giggles shyly* What shaww become of this? What wiww this do? -Fwiaw. Mawwy, *hugs tightly* this weww cawwied shaww on hew *notices bulge* behawf -Change swandew to wemowse. T-That is uWu some good. -But n-nyot fow that dweam I-I on this stwange couwse, -B-But o-on this twavaiw wook *twerks* fow gweatew biwth. -^-^ She dying, as >_> it must be so m-maintain'd, -xDD Upon the instant that *cries* she was accus'd, -Shaww be wamented, pitied, and excus'd -O-Of evewy *moans* heawew; fow it so fawws out -*notices bulge* That what we have we pwize nyot to the wowth -Whiwes w-we *giggles shyly* enjoy *shuffles closer* it, b-but being UwU wack'd and *leans over* wost, -Why, then *giggles shyly* we *looks at you* wack t-the vawue, then *sighs* we find -The viwtue that possession wouwd nyot show us -Whiwes it x3 was ouws. So *hugs tightly* wiww ;;w;; it f-fawe ^.^ with Cwaudio. -When he shaww h-heaw she died upon his wowds, -T-Th' idea of hew *cries* wife shaww sweetwy c-cweep -:33 Into h-his study *pokes you* of imaginyation, -And evewy wovewy owgan of hew wife -Shaww :3 come appaweww'd in mowe pwecious h-habit, -Mowe moving, d-dewicate, and fuww of *sighs* wife, -Into the *notices bulge* eye a-and p-pwospect of h-his souw -Than when she :33 wiv'd indeed. *notices bulge* Then shaww he mouwn -(If *notices bulge* evew wove had intewest in his wivew) -^.^ And wish he had nyot so accused >_> hew-- -N-Nyo, *sighs* though b-be thought his accusation twue. -*screams* Wet this *pokes you* be *looks away* so, and *cries* doubt >_< nyot >_> but success -Wiww fashion the *cuddles you* event in bettew shape -Than I can way it down in wikewihood. -But if aww aim but this be weveww'd fawse, ->_> The *pokes you* supposition of the w-wady's d-death -Wiww quench t-the wondew o-of hew infamy. -And if UwU it s-sowt nyot weww, you may conceaw hew, -As best b-befits hew wounded weputation, -*shuffles closer* In some wecwusive and wewigious *giggles shyly* wife, -Out of aww eyes, tongues, m-minds, *shuffles closer* and injuwies. -Benye. Signyiow Weonyato, wet the fwiaw advise :3 you; -And though you knyow uWu my inwawdnyess and >_> wove -Is vewy much unto the Pwince a-and Cwaudio, -Y-Yet, by minye honyouw, I wiww ;;w;; deaw in this -*pokes you* As secwetwy a-and justwy as youw souw -Shouwd >w< with youw body. -Weon. *cuddles you* Being that I fwow in gwief, -The smawwest twinye may w-wead me. -Fwiaw. 'Tis UwU weww *giggles shyly* consented. Pwesentwy a-away; -F-Fow to stwange sowes stwangewy they *blushes* stwain the cuwe. -Come, wady, die to w-wive. OwO This wedding day -Pewhaps *sighs* is but *giggles shyly* pwowong'd. Have *cuddles you* patience a-and *pokes you* enduwe. -Exeunt [aww but Benyedick and Beatwice]. -Benye. W-Wady B-Beatwice, have you wept *sighs* aww t-this whiwe? -Beat. Yea, and OwO I ;;w;; wiww weep a whiwe wongew. -Benye. I wiww nyot *screams* desiwe that. -Beat. You have nyo weason. I do i-it fweewy. -*looks away* Benye. Suwewy I do b-bewieve youw *screams* faiw cousin is wwonged. -Beat. Ah, how *cuddles you* much might the man desewve o-of me that wouwd wight -h-hew! -*sweats* Benye. I-Is thewe any way to show such fwiendship? -^w^ Beat. A vewy even way, but nyo such fwiend. -Benye. ^.^ May a man do it? -:3 Beat. It is a-a man's office, but nyot youws. -Benye. I do w-wove :3 nyothing i-in the wowwd so weww as *looks away* you. Is nyot that -s-stwange? ->_< Beat. As stwange as the thing I-I knyow nyot. It wewe as possibwe fow -me :33 to say I woved nyothing so weww as you. But bewieve me nyot; and -y-yet I wie nyot. I *screams* confess nyothing, nyow I-I deny nyothing. I-I am sowwy -fow my cousin. -Benye. B-By my swowd, Beatwice, :3 thou wovest m-me. -Beat. Do nyot sweaw, and eat *notices bulge* it. -Benye. I wiww s-sweaw b-by i-it *leans over* that you *hugs tightly* wove me, and I wiww make him e-eat -i-it that s-says I wove n-nyot you. -Beat. Wiww you nyot eat ^-^ youw wowd? -uWu Benye. W-With nyo sauce that can be devised to it. I pwotest I wove -*leans over* thee. -Beat. Why then, God x3 fowgive me! -Benye. >_> What offence, sweet Beatwice? -Beat. uWu You have stayed ^.^ me in a happy houw. I-I was about to *pokes you* pwotest I -woved you. -*cries* Benye. And d-do i-it with aww t-thy *cries* heawt. -Beat. I wove x3 you with so much *looks at you* of my heawt that nyonye is weft to -p-pwotest. -B-Benye. *moans* Come, bid *looks away* me do anything fow *notices bulge* thee. -Beat. Kiww Cwaudio. -Benye. Ha! nyot fow t-the wide wowwd! -Beat. You kiww ^.^ me to deny >_> it. F-Faweweww. -Benye. Tawwy, sweet Beatwice. -Beat. I am gonye, though I am hewe. Thewe is nyo wove in *notices bulge* you. Nyay, I -pway you wet me go. -^w^ Benye. Beatwice-- ->w< Beat. In faith, I-I wiww >_< go. -Benye. We'ww be fwiends fiwst. -B-Beat. You dawe e-easiew *teleports behind you* be fwiends with me than fight with minye -enyemy. -B-Benye. Is Cwaudio ^-^ thinye enyemy? -Beat. Is 'a nyot appwoved in the h-height a viwwain, that UwU hath -s-swandewed, ^-^ scownyed, dishonyouwed my kinswoman? O that I w-wewe a -m-man! W-What? b-beaw h-hew in hand untiw they come to take hands, and -t-then x3 with pubwic accusation, uncovew'd swandew, unmitigated -wancouw--O *blushes* God, that I wewe *cries* a ^w^ man! I wouwd eat his heawt in the -mawket pwace. -Benye. Heaw *cries* me, Beatwice! -Beat. xDD Tawk with a man out at a ;;w;; window!-a pwopew saying! -Benye. Nyay *cries* but B-Beatwice-- -Beat. Sweet *blushes* Hewo! >_> she is w-wwong'd, she is *leans over* swand'wed, she is undonye. -Benye. Beat-- -Beat. Pwinces and Counties! Suwewy a pwincewy testimony, a goodwy -c-count, Count Comfect, UwU a sweet gawwant suwewy! O xDD that I wewe a m-man -fow *twerks* his sake! o-ow *cries* that I-I h-had any fwiend w-wouwd be a man fow my -s-sake! But manhood is mewted into cuwsies, vawouw into compwiment, -and *leans over* men awe onwy tuwn'd into tongue, and twim onyes too. He is nyow -as vawiant ^w^ as OwO Hewcuwes that onwy t-tewws >_< a wie,and sweaws i-it. *cries* I -c-cannyot be a m-man with wishing; thewefowe I-I wiww die a woman with -gwieving. -B-Benye. Tawwy, good Beatwice. By this xDD hand, I ^-^ wove xDD thee. -B-Beat. Use it fow my wove some othew way than sweawing by it. -Benye. Think you in youw souw the Count Cwaudio hath wwong'd Hewo? -Beat. Yea, *sighs* as suwe :33 is I-I h-have a *hugs tightly* thought ow a *twerks* souw. -Benye. Enyough, I a-am engag'd, I wiww chawwenge him. *leans over* I wiww kiss youw -hand, and so I weave you. B-By uWu this hand, *cries* Cwaudio *blushes* shaww wendew me a -deaw account. As you heaw of m-me, s-so think *looks away* of *notices bulge* me. Go comfowt youw -cousin. I ;;w;; must say she is dead-and s-so faweweww. -[Exeunt.] - - - - -S-Scenye II. -A x3 pwison. - -^w^ Entew the Constabwes [Dogbewwy and Vewges] *cuddles you* and t-the *looks away* Sexton, in gowns, -[and the Watch, with Conwade a-and] Bowachio. - -*moans* Dog. Is ouw whowe dissembwy *notices bulge* appeaw'd? -Vewg. O, a stoow and a cushion fow the sexton. -Sex. Which be *screams* the mawefactows? -Dog. Mawwy, that am *hugs tightly* I and my pawtnyew. -Vewg. Nyay, xDD that's cewtain. We have the *cuddles you* exhibition to e-examinye. -Sex. B-But which awe the *notices bulge* offendews that awe to be examinyed? wet them -come :33 befowe Mastew C-Constabwe. -D-Dog. Yea, mawwy, wet *shuffles closer* them *giggles shyly* come befowe me. What is youw nyame, -fwiend? -*cries* Bow. Bowachio. -D-Dog. P-Pway wwite d-down Bowachio. UwU Youws, siwwah? -Con. I *pokes you* am a gentweman, siw, and my nyame is *giggles shyly* Conwade. -Dog. Wwite down Mastew Gentweman C-Conwade. Mastews, do *cuddles you* you sewve -God? -Both. Yea, siw, w-we hope. -Dog. Wwite down that they hope they sewve God; *looks away* and *pokes you* wwite God f-fiwst, -UwU fow *pokes you* God d-defend ^w^ but G-God shouwd go >_< befowe such viwwains! Mastews, -it is pwoved awweady that you awe wittwe bettew than fawse -knyaves, and it wiww go n-nyeaw to be thought so showtwy. How answew -you fow >_< youwsewves? -C-Con. Mawwy, siw, w-we say we awe nyonye. -Dog. A mawvewwous witty fewwow, I a-assuwe *giggles shyly* you; b-but I uWu wiww go about -*looks away* with *sighs* him. Come you *sighs* hithew, siwwah. A wowd in *pokes you* youw eaw. Siw, xDD I say -to you, it is t-thought you awe f-fawse knyaves. -Bowa. Siw, I say to you we awe nyonye. -D-Dog. Weww, :33 stand aside. Fowe God, they awe both in a tawe. -Have you wwit down that they a-awe nyonye? -Sex. Mastew Constabwe, you go n-nyot the w-way to e-examinye. You must caww -fowth the watch that awe theiw ^.^ accusews. -Dog. Yea, *sighs* mawwy, *looks at you* that's the eftest way. Wet the w-watch OwO come fowth. -Mastews, I-I chawge you i-in ^w^ the P-Pwince's *blushes* nyame accuse these m-men. -*teleports behind you* 1. Watch. This m-man s-said, s-siw, *sighs* that Don *sweats* John the Pwince's bwothew -was a viwwain. -Dog. Wwite ^w^ down Pwince John a *looks away* viwwain. Why, this is fwat pewjuwy, -to caww a :33 pwince's b-bwothew viwwain. -B-Bowa. Mastew Constabwe-- -Dog. Pway thee, uWu fewwow, peace. I d-do nyot wike t-thy w-wook, I pwomise -thee. -*teleports behind you* Sex. What heawd you *looks at you* him say e-ewse? -2. Watch. Mawwy, that he had weceived a thousand ducats *looks away* of D-Don John -fow a-accusing the Wady *screams* Hewo wwongfuwwy. -Dog. F-Fwat buwgwawy as evew was ^-^ committed. -Vewg. Yea, b-by th' mass, that it is. -Sex. What ewse, fewwow? -1. Watch. And that C-Count Cwaudio d-did mean, upon *sweats* his wowds, uWu to -disgwace Hewo UwU befowe the w-whowe assembwy, and nyot mawwy hew. -Dog. O viwwain! thou wiwt be condemn'd i-into evewwasting wedemption -fow this. -Sex. What ewse? -Watchmen. This is aww. -Sex. And this is *hugs tightly* mowe, mastews, than OwO you can :33 deny. Pwince John is -this m-mownying secwetwy stow'n away. Hewo w-was in >_< this m-mannyew ->_< accus'd, in this mannyew wefus'd, and upon the gwief *teleports behind you* of t-this -suddenwy *cries* died. Mastew Constabwe, wet these men be b-bound and -*looks away* bwought t-to Weonyato's. I wiww g-go befowe and show him *teleports behind you* theiw -*twerks* examinyation. [-[Exit.] -Dog. Come, wet them be opinyion'd. -Vewg. Wet *twerks* them be in :33 the hands-- -Con. O-Off, coxcomb! -*looks at you* Dog. *sighs* God's my wife, whewe's the sexton? Wet him wwite down t-the -Pwince's officew coxcomb. Come, bind them.--Thou nyaughty vawwet! -Con. Away! you awe an ass, you awe an ass. -Dog. Dost thou nyot suspect m-my p-pwace? D-Dost thou nyot suspect my -yeaws? O that he wewe h-hewe to w-wwite m-me x3 down an ass! But, mastews, -wemembew that I am an >_< ass. Though it *cuddles you* be nyot wwitten down, y-yet -fowget nyot that I am a-an ass. Nyo, thou viwwain, thou *hugs tightly* awt fuww of -piety, as shaww be pwov'd upon thee by good witnyess. I am a wise -f-fewwow; and which UwU is mowe, a-an officew; and which i-is mowe, >_> a -househowdew; and which is m-mowe, as OwO pwetty a piece of fwesh as a-any -is in *leans over* Messinya, and onye >_> that knyows the waw, go to! and a :3 wich -fewwow enyough, go *leans over* to! and a-a ^.^ fewwow >_< that hath had wosses; and onye -that hath two gowns and evewything handsome about *cuddles you* him. Bwing him -away. O t-that I had been uWu wwit down an ass! -Exeunt. - - - - -<_> PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD >_> TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V-V. Scenye I. -The s-stweet, nyeaw OwO Weonyato's house. - -Entew Weonyato and his bwothew [ *screams* Antonyio]. - -Ant. If *pokes you* you go on t-thus, y-you wiww kiww youwsewf, -;;w;; And 'tis nyot wisdom t-thus to s-second gwief -Against youwsewf. -Weon. I pway thee c-cease thy counsew, -Which fawws into minye *pokes you* eaws as pwofitwess -As watew in a sieve. Give nyot me counsew, -Nyow wet nyo comfowtew dewight minye eaw -But such a-a onye whose wwongs *looks away* do suit with minye. -Bwing me a-a fathew that *pokes you* so wov'd his chiwd, -Whose *shuffles closer* joy of hew is ovewwhewm'd wike minye, -And bid him speak to me :33 of xDD patience. -*looks at you* Measuwe his woe the uWu wength *sighs* and b-bweadth of minye, -And w-wet it answew ;;w;; evewy s-stwain *screams* fow stwain, -As thus fow thus, and such a-a gwief f-fow s-such, -In evewy winyeament, bwanch, shape, and fowm. -If such a onye wiww smiwe a-and stwoke his beawd, -Bid sowwow wag, cwy 'hem' when h-he shouwd gwoan, -Patch gwief with pwovewbs, make m-misfowtunye dwunk -With *notices bulge* candwe-wastews--bwing him yet t-to me, -A-And I of *looks away* him *moans* wiww gathew patience. -But thewe x3 is nyo s-such man; f-fow, bwothew, men -Can counsew and speak comfowt to that gwief -W-Which they themsewves nyot feew; but, *sweats* tasting it, -Theiw counsew tuwns to passion, *screams* which befowe -Wouwd give pweceptiaw m-medicinye t-to wage, -Fettew stwong madnyess in a siwken thwead, -Chawm ache with aiw >w< and agony with wowds. -Nyo, nyo! 'Tis aww m-men's ^.^ office to speak patience -To those t-that wwing u-undew the woad of sowwow, -*moans* But nyo man's viwtue nyow *shuffles closer* sufficiency -To b-be so mowaw w-when he shaww enduwe -The wike himsewf. *moans* Thewefowe give me n-nyo counsew. -My gwiefs cwy w-woudew than advewtisement. -Ant. Thewein do men fwom chiwdwen nyothing diffew. -Weon. I pway thee peace. I wiww be fwesh and *leans over* bwood; -Fow thewe was nyevew yet phiwosophew -That couwd enduwe the t-toothache OwO patientwy, -Howevew they have ^w^ wwit the *cuddles you* stywe of gods -And made a push *giggles shyly* at chance and suffewance. -Ant. Yet bend nyot aww :3 the hawm upon youwsewf. -Make those *sweats* that do ^w^ offend you suffew too. -Weon. Thewe thou s-speak'st weason. Nyay, I wiww do so. -My souw doth teww me Hewo is *moans* bewied; -And that ^-^ shaww Cwaudio knyow; so *shuffles closer* shaww the Pwince, -And aww OwO of them that thus dishonyouw h-hew. - -Entew Don Pedwo and Cwaudio. - -Ant. Hewe *blushes* comes the Pwince and C-Cwaudio hastiwy. -Pedwo. Good den, ;;w;; Good den. -Cwaud. G-Good day to >w< both of you. -Weon. Heaw y-you, my wowds! -uWu Pedwo. We h-have some haste, Weonyato. -Weon. Some haste, my w-wowd! weww, fawe y-you weww, my wowd. -Awe you so hasty nyow? Weww, aww is :3 onye. -;;w;; Pedwo. Nyay, *looks away* do nyot quawwew *pokes you* with u-us, good owd man. -Ant. If he couwd wight himsewf *shuffles closer* with quawwewwing, -Some of us wouwd wie wow. -Cwaud. *twerks* Who wwongs him? -*screams* Weon. Mawwy, >_> thou dost w-wwong me, thou dissembwew, thou! -Nyay, nyevew way thy hand upon t-thy swowd; -I feaw thee n-nyot. -Cwaud. Mawy, beshwew my hand -If it s-shouwd give youw age s-such cause o-of feaw. -In faith, my hand meant nyothing to my swowd. -Weon. Tush, tush, man! xDD nyevew fweew and *sighs* jest at me -I speak nyot wike a dotawd nyow a-a foow, -As undew ^.^ pwiviwege o-of age to bwag -What I have donye b-being young, o-ow what wouwd do, -Wewe I nyot owd. Knyow, Cwaudio, to thy head, -^w^ Thou h-hast so wwong'd minye innyocent chiwd a-and me -That I-I am fowc'd to way my wevewence by -And, with gwey haiws and bwuise of many days, -Do chawwenge thee to twiaw *leans over* of a man. -I *giggles shyly* say thou hast bewied >w< minye i-innyocent chiwd; -Thy s-swandew hath >w< gonye thwough and thwough h-hew heawt, -And she wied buwied with hew ancestows- -O, in a-a tomb *notices bulge* whewe n-nyevew scandaw swept, -Save this of hews, fwam'd by t-thy viwwany! -Cwaud. My viwwany? -Weon. Thinye, Cwaudio; thinye I say. -Pedwo. You say nyot wight, :3 owd man -Weon. *twerks* My wowd, my wowd, -*pokes you* I'ww pwove i-it on his body if he dawe, -Despite his nyice f-fence and his active pwactice, -:3 His May of youth and *giggles shyly* bwoom of wustihood. -Cwaud. A-Away! I wiww nyot ;;w;; have to do with y-you. -Weon. Canst OwO thou *notices bulge* so daff me? Thou OwO hast kiww'd ^.^ my chiwd. -If thou kiww'st me, boy, thou shawt UwU kiww a man. -*sweats* And. He shaww kiww two of us, and men indeed -But that's nyo mattew; wet him kiww onye fiwst. -Win me a-and w-weaw me! Wet *cries* him answew me. -Come, xDD fowwow me, boy,. Come, siw boy, come fowwow m-me. -Siw b-boy, I-I'ww whip you fwom youw foinying *hugs tightly* fence! -Nyay, as I am a gentweman, I wiww. -Weon. Bwothew-- -Ant. C-Content *cuddles you* youwsewf. G-God knyows *hugs tightly* I wov'd my nyiece, -And she is dead, swandew'd t-to death by viwwains, -That dawe as weww answew a man indeed -As uWu I dawe take a ^.^ sewpent by the tongue. -Boys, apes, bwaggawts, jacks, miwksops! -Weon. :33 Bwothew Anthony-- -Ant. Howd you content. W-What, m-man! I-I knyow them, yea, -And what they weigh, even to the utmost scwupwe, -Scambwing, outfacing, fashion-monging boys, -That wie a-and cog and fwout, UwU depwave uWu and swandew, -Go anticwy, show o-outwawd hideousnyess, -And speak off hawf a d-dozen UwU dang'wous wowds, -How they *cuddles you* might huwt theiw enyemies, if they duwst; -And t-this uWu is aww. -W-Weon. But, bwothew Anthony-- -A-Ant. Come, 'tis nyo *cries* mattew. -Do nyot you meddwe; wet :3 me deaw in this. -Pedwo. Gentwemen both, we w-wiww >_< nyot w-wake youw *hugs tightly* patience. -My h-heawt i-is sowwy fow y-youw daughtew's death; -But, on my honyouw, she *sweats* was >_> chawg'd *cuddles you* with nyothing -But what was t-twue, *shuffles closer* and vewy :33 fuww *hugs tightly* of *cuddles you* pwoof. -Weon. My wowd, my wowd-- -Pedwo. I wiww nyot heaw *pokes you* you. -Weon. Nyo? Come, bwothew, away!--I w-wiww *twerks* be heawd. -Ant. And s-shaww, ow s-some of us *shuffles closer* wiww s-smawt fow *twerks* it. -*hugs tightly* Exeunt *moans* ambo. - ->w< Entew Benyedick. - -Pedwo. See, see! Hewe comes the man we went :3 to seek. -Cwaud. Nyow, signyiow, w-what nyews? -Benye. Good day, my wowd. -Pedwo. Wewcome, s-signyiow. You awe awmost come to pawt a-awmost a f-fway. -Cwaud. >w< We h-had wik'd to *looks away* have had *teleports behind you* ouw two nyoses snyapp'd off with t-two -^-^ owd men uWu without t-teeth. -Pedwo. Weonyato and his b-bwothew. W-What think'st t-thou? H-Had we fought, -^.^ I doubt we shouwd have b-been too young :3 fow them. -Benye. In >w< a *hugs tightly* fawse *moans* quawwew thewe is n-nyo *looks away* twue vawouw. xDD I x3 came t-to seek -you both. -Cwaud. We :33 have been up and down to seek thee; *twerks* fow we awe high-pwoof -mewanchowy, and wouwd fain *cries* have it beaten away. Wiwt t-thou use thy -wit? -Benye. It is in m-my scabbawd. *blushes* Shaww I dwaw i-it? -Pedwo. Dost thou weaw thy wit by thy side? -Cwaud. Nyevew any did so, though xDD vewy many have been *cuddles you* beside theiw -wit. I w-wiww bid thee dwaw, as we do the m-minstwew--dwaw *looks at you* to -pweasuwe us. -Pedwo. As I-I am an h-honyest man, h-he wooks pawe. Awt thou s-sick o-ow -angwy? -Cwaud. What, couwage, m-man! What though cawe kiww'd a cat, thou hast -mettwe e-enyough in *cries* thee to kiww cawe. -B-Benye. Siw, I ^.^ shaww *cries* meet youw wit in the *blushes* caweew an *looks away* you chawge it -against me. I *sweats* pway you >_< choose anyothew subject. -Cwaud. Nyay then, give him anyothew staff; this *looks at you* wast was bwoke cwoss. -^w^ Pedwo. B-By this wight, he *cuddles you* changes mowe and mowe. I think he b-be angwy -*shuffles closer* indeed. -Cwaud. If he be, he >_< knyows how to OwO tuwn *looks at you* his g-giwdwe. -Benye. Shaww I speak a wowd in y-youw eaw? -Cwaud. God *notices bulge* bwess me fwom a chawwenge! -B-Benye. [aside to C-Cwaudio] You a-awe a viwwain. I jest nyot; I wiww make -it good how you dawe, with what you dawe, and when y-you dawe. Do -me wight, ow I wiww pwotest y-youw cowawdice. You have kiww'd a -sweet wady, and hew death shaww faww h-heavy on you. Wet me heaw -*screams* fwom you. -Cwaud. Weww, I wiww meet you, so I may have good cheew. -P-Pedwo. What, a-a feast, a feast? -Cwaud. I' *cuddles you* faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a-a *blushes* cawve's head *twerks* and -*looks at you* a OwO capon, t-the which if I do nyot cawve most cuwiouswy, say my -knyife's nyaught. S-Shaww I nyot find a woodcock too? -Benye. *moans* Siw, youw wit ambwes w-weww; it goes *shuffles closer* easiwy. -Pedwo. I'ww teww *screams* thee how Beatwice p-pwais'd thy *cuddles you* wit the othew *giggles shyly* day. I-I -said thou hadst a finye *pokes you* wit: '-'Twue,' said she, 'a finye wittwe -onye.' '-'Nyo,' *looks at you* said I, 'a gweat wit.' 'Wight,' xDD says she, 'a gweat -gwoss onye.' 'Nyay,' s-said I, '-'a *looks away* good wit.' 'Just,' said she, 'it -huwts nyobody.' 'Nyay,' said *hugs tightly* I, 'the gentweman i-is w-wise.' 'Cewtain,' -*screams* said xDD she, *twerks* a wise OwO gentweman.' 'Nyay,' said I, '-'he hath the -tongues.' 'That I bewieve' *looks away* said she, 'fow he swowe a t-thing OwO to me -on M-Monday *looks away* nyight which he fowswowe on Tuesday mownying. Thewe's a -doubwe tongue; ;;w;; thewe's two tongues.' Thus did she an houw -togethew *hugs tightly* twansshape thy pawticuwaw viwtues. x3 Yet at ^w^ wast >_< she -;;w;; concwuded with a sigh, thou wast the pwopew'st man in Itawy. -Cwaud. *looks at you* Fow the *blushes* which she wept heawtiwy and said s-she cawed nyot. -Pedwo. Yea, that she ^-^ did; but *teleports behind you* yet, fow aww *pokes you* that, an i-if she did *hugs tightly* nyot -h-hate him d-deadwy, she wouwd w-wove h-him deawwy. The owd man's -daughtew towd us aww. -Cwaud. Aww, *looks away* aww! and moweovew, God saw him when he was hid in *blushes* the -gawden. -Pedwo. But when shaww we set *notices bulge* the >_< savage *twerks* buww's howns on the -sensibwe B-Benyedick's head? -Cwaud. Yea, and ^w^ text undewnyeath, 'Hewe dwewws *giggles shyly* Benyedick, the m-mawwied -:3 man'? -Benye. Fawe you weww, boy; you knyow m-my *cuddles you* mind. I wiww weave you nyow to -youw gossipwike humouw. Y-You bweak jests as bwaggawds *pokes you* do *hugs tightly* theiw -bwades, which God be thanked huwt nyot. My wowd, fow youw m-many -couwtesies I thank you. *pokes you* I must discontinyue youw company. Youw -bwothew the bastawd is fwed fwom Messinya. You have among *cries* you -k-kiww'd a *moans* sweet and xDD innyocent wady. Fow my Wowd Wackbeawd thewe, h-he -and I shaww meet; and t-tiww *blushes* then peace *twerks* be with him. -[Exit.] -Pedwo. He *hugs tightly* is in eawnyest. -Cwaud. In *notices bulge* most *teleports behind you* pwofound *looks away* eawnyest; and, I'ww wawwant *looks away* you, fow the ->_< wove of Beatwice. -Pedwo. A-And *sighs* hath chawweng'd uWu thee. -Cwaud. Most sincewewy. -Pedwo. What a pwetty ;;w;; thing man is when he goes in his doubwet and -hose and weaves off his wit! - -Entew *teleports behind you* Constabwes [Dogbewwy and ^-^ Vewges, with the Watch, weading] -Conwade and :3 Bowachio. - -C-Cwaud. UwU He is then a giant to an a-ape; but then is an ape a doctow *hugs tightly* to -;;w;; such a m-man. -P-Pedwo. But, soft you, wet me be! Pwuck up, my heawt, and be *hugs tightly* sad! -*sweats* Did he nyot say >_< my bwothew >_< was *sweats* fwed? -xDD Dog. Come *moans* you, siw. If justice cannyot >w< tame you, she shaww n-nye'ew -weigh mowe *blushes* weasons ;;w;; in hew bawance. Nyay, >_> an you be a cuwsing -*cries* hypocwite once, you must *shuffles closer* be wook'd to. -Pedwo. H-How nyow? *cries* two of my *blushes* bwothew's m-men bound? Bowachio o-onye. -C-Cwaud. Heawken aftew theiw offence, *teleports behind you* my *cuddles you* wowd. -*screams* Pedwo. Officews, what o-offence have these men donye? -D-Dog. Mawwy, siw, t-they have committed fawse uWu wepowt; moweovew, they -have :3 spoken untwuths; secondawiwy, they a-awe swandews; sixth and -wastwy, they have bewied a-a ^-^ wady; thiwdwy, they have vewified -unjust things; and to c-concwude, they awe wying knyaves. -Pedwo. Fiwst, I ask >_< thee what they *pokes you* have donye; thiwdwy, I ask t-thee -w-what's theiw offence; sixth and wastwy, why they awe c-committed; -:3 and to concwude, what you w-way to *cuddles you* theiw chawge. -Cwaud. Wightwy weasonyed, and *leans over* in his own *pokes you* division; and by my twoth -thewe's >w< onye m-meanying weww suited. -uWu Pedwo. W-Who *sighs* have you offended, mastews, that you awe thus b-bound to -*teleports behind you* youw answew? This x3 weawnyed constabwe is t-too cunnying to be -undewstood. What's youw offence? -Bowa. Sweet Pwince, w-wet *notices bulge* me :3 go n-nyo fawthew to minye answew. Do you -heaw m-me, and wet this uWu Count kiww *twerks* me. I h-have :3 deceived even youw -vewy xDD eyes. What x3 youw wisdoms couwd nyot discovew, these shawwow -foows h-have bwought to wight, who in *moans* the n-nyight ovewheawd me -c-confessing t-to this man, h-how Don John *giggles shyly* youw bwothew i-incensed me to -swandew t-the >_< Wady Hewo; how you wewe bwought into the owchawd a-and -saw me couwt Mawgawet i-in H-Hewo's gawments; *sighs* how you disgwac'd hew -when you *screams* shouwd mawwy hew. My viwwany they have upon wecowd, -which I had w-wathew seaw with my death :3 than w-wepeat ovew ^-^ to my -shame. The wady is dead upon minye and my m-mastew's fawse -accusation; and b-bwiefwy, I desiwe *blushes* nyothing but the w-wewawd o-of a -*sweats* viwwain. -OwO Pedwo. Wuns n-nyot this speech wike iwon thwough youw bwood? -Cwaud. I h-have dwunk poison whiwes h-he uttew'd i-it. -Pedwo. But did my bwothew set ;;w;; thee o-on *leans over* to *teleports behind you* this? -B-Bowa. Yea, and paid xDD me :33 wichwy fow the *sweats* pwactice of it. -Pedwo. He i-is compos'd and fwam'd >_> of tweachewy, -A-And fwed he is u-upon this v-viwwany. -C-Cwaud. Sweet Hewo, nyow thy image d-doth appeaw -In the wawe sembwance that I wov'd it f-fiwst. -D-Dog. Come, bwing a-away the pwaintiffs. By *hugs tightly* this time o-ouw sexton hath -w-wefowmed S-Signyiow Weonyato of ^.^ the mattew. And, *looks at you* mastews, do nyot -fowget t-to s-specify, when time and *blushes* pwace shaww *cuddles you* sewve, that I a-am an -ass. -V-Vewg. Hewe, hewe comes Mastew Signyiow Weonyato, and the sexton too. - -Entew Weonyato, his *blushes* bwothew [Antonyio], ^-^ and the Sexton. - -*moans* Weon. Which is the viwwain? Wet me see his eyes, -T-That, when I n-nyote anyothew *blushes* man *giggles shyly* wike him, -*leans over* I may a-avoid him. Which of these is *cries* he? -Bowa. If you *hugs tightly* wouwd knyow youw wwongew, wook on m-me. -Weon. Awt thou the swave that *twerks* with ;;w;; thy bweath h-hast kiww'd -Minye innyocent *giggles shyly* chiwd? -Bowa. Yea, even I awonye. -Weon. N-Nyo, nyot so, viwwain! thou bewiest thysewf. -Hewe stand a-a paiw of honyouwabwe men-- -A-A UwU thiwd is fwed--that had a h-hand i-in i-it. -I thank you pwinces fow my daughtew's death. -Wecowd it with youw high and wowthy deeds. -'Twas bwavewy *notices bulge* donye, *cries* if you bethink you of i-it. -Cwaud. I k-knyow nyot how to pway youw >_> patience; -Yet I m-must >w< speak. Choose y-youw wevenge youwsewf; -Impose me t-to w-what penyance youw invention -Can way upon *looks at you* my s-sin. Yet sinn'd I nyot -B-But in mistaking. ->_< Pedwo. *looks at you* By *hugs tightly* my souw, nyow I-I! -And yet, to satisfy this good owd man, -I wouwd bend u-undew a-any heavy weight -That he'ww enjoin m-me to. -Weon. I ^w^ cannyot bid you bid x3 my daughtew wive- -That wewe impossibwe; but x3 I *cuddles you* pway you both, -*notices bulge* Possess *twerks* the *moans* peopwe in *giggles shyly* Messinya hewe -How innyocent she died; and if youw wove -Can wabouw aught in sad x3 invention, -Hang hew an epitaph upon hew tomb, -And :3 sing it to hew bonyes--sing it to-nyight. -To-mowwow mownying come you to my house, -And since you couwd *cuddles you* nyot be my son-in-waw, -Be yet my nyephew. My bwothew hath a daughtew, -Awmost the copy of my chiwd that's dead, -And she awonye >_> is h-heiw to both of us. -Give hew the wight y-you shouwd have giv'n >w< hew cousin, -*giggles shyly* And so dies my wevenge. -Cwaud. O-O n-nyobwe siw! -Youw ovew-kindnyess doth *sighs* wwing t-teaws f-fwom me. -I :33 do e-embwace youw offew; and dispose -Fow hencefowth of ^-^ poow Cwaudio. -Weon. T-To-mowwow then I *looks at you* wiww expect youw c-coming; -To-nyight I ^w^ take my *cries* weave. This nyaughty man -Shaww fact t-to face be bwought to Mawgawet, -Who I bewieve was pack'd in a-aww this wwong, -Hiw'd >_> to it by youw bwothew. -Bowa. x3 Nyo, by m-my *shuffles closer* souw, she w-was nyot; -Nyow *shuffles closer* knyew nyot what she did when *cries* she spoke to me; -But awways hath been just and viwtuous -I-In anything that I d-do knyow ;;w;; by hew. -Dog. Moweovew, siw, *screams* which indeed is nyot u-undew *twerks* white *looks away* and bwack, this -pwaintiff hewe, *cuddles you* the offendew, d-did *cries* caww me ass. I beseech you w-wet -it be *moans* wememb'wed i-in >_< his punyishment. And awso the w-watch heawd them -t-tawk of *pokes you* onye Defowmed. They say he weaws a *shuffles closer* key in his e-eaw, a-and *looks at you* a -wock hanging by it, uWu and bowwows monyey in God's nyame, the which he -hath us'd so wong and nyevew paid that n-nyow *pokes you* men gwow hawd-heawted -and wiww w-wend *looks at you* nyothing fow God's sake. Pway you examinye him upon -that point. -Weon. *cuddles you* I t-thank thee fow *leans over* thy cawe and honyest pains. -Dog. Youw *looks at you* wowship speaks w-wike a ^.^ most thankfuw a-and *giggles shyly* wevewent youth, -and I pwaise God fow *moans* you. -Weon. Thewe's fow thy pains. [Gives monyey.] -Dog. God save the foundation! -Weon. Go, I dischawge thee of thy pwisonyew, UwU and I thank thee. -Dog. I weave an awwant knyave with youw wowship, which I beseech -youw wowship to cowwect youwsewf, fow t-the e-exampwe o-of xDD othews. -God keep youw wowship! I wish youw wowship weww. God westowe you -to heawth! I humbwy give you weave to *sighs* depawt; and if a mewwy -*giggles shyly* meeting *screams* may be wish'd, God xDD pwohibit it! Come, uWu nyeighbouw. -Exeunt [-[Dogbewwy *looks at you* and Vewges]. -Weon. *moans* Untiw to-mowwow mownying, wowds, faweweww. -Ant. Faweweww, my wowds. We >w< wook f-fow you xDD to-mowwow. -Pedwo. We wiww nyot faww. -Cwaud. T-To-nyight I'ww mouwn with Hewo. -[-[Exeunt Don Pedwo and Cwaudio.] -Weon. [to the W-Watch] Bwing you these *cuddles you* fewwows o-on.--We'ww tawk with ->_< Mawgawet, -How hew *screams* acquaintance gwew :33 with this wewd fewwow. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Weonyato's *looks away* owchawd. - -*twerks* Entew Benyedick and Mawgawet [meeting]. - -Benye. Pway thee, sweet M-Mistwess Mawgawet, UwU desewve weww a-at my hands -by h-hewping me to OwO the s-speech *sighs* of Beatwice. -Mawg. Wiww you then UwU wwite me a sonnyet *moans* in pwaise of my beauty? -Benye. In ^-^ so h-high a s-stywe, Mawgawet, that nyo man :3 wiving shaww come -ovew it; fow in most comewy t-twuth *notices bulge* thou desewvest i-it. -Mawg. To have :33 nyo man come o-ovew m-me? Why, shaww I awways keep bewow -staiws? -Benye. T-Thy w-wit i-is as quick as the g-gweyhound's mouth--it *pokes you* catches. -Mawg. And youws as bwunt as the f-fencew's foiws, which h-hit b-but huwt -nyot. -Benye. A most manwy w-wit, Mawgawet: it wiww nyot huwt a *sighs* woman. -A-And so I pway thee *pokes you* caww Beatwice. I give *hugs tightly* thee the x3 buckwews. -Mawg. Give us the swowds; w-we have *looks away* buckwews of ouw own. -Benye. If you :33 use them, Mawgawet, you must put in *looks at you* the pikes *sighs* with a -vice, and t-they awe dangewous weapons fow maids. -Mawg. Weww, *looks at you* I wiww c-caww Beatwice to you, who I *cries* think hath wegs. -Benye. And thewefowe wiww *moans* come. -Exit Mawgawet. -[Sings] The god :33 of wove, -That :33 sits ^w^ above -And knyows me, and knyows me, -*pokes you* How UwU pitifuw I desewve-- - -I mean in singing; but >w< in woving >w< Weandew the >_< good swimmew, -Twoiwus x3 the *looks away* fiwst empwoyew of pandews, and a *pokes you* whowe book fuww *blushes* of -:33 these quondam cawpet-mongews, whose nyames ;;w;; yet wun s-smoothwy in the -even woad of a b-bwank vewse--why, they wewe nyevew so t-twuwy tuwn'd -ovew *looks away* and ovew *screams* as m-my poow sewf *giggles shyly* in wove. Mawwy, *notices bulge* I cannyot show ^w^ it i-in -whyme. I *twerks* have t-twied. I-I can find out nyo whyme to 'wady' but 'baby' ---an innyocent w-whyme; fow *sweats* 'scown,' '-'hown'--a hawd whyme; fow -'-'schoow', 'foow'--a babbwing whyme: vewy ominyous e-endings! Nyo, I -was nyot *sighs* bown undew a whyming >_< pwanyet, nyow cannyot w-woo in festivaw -tewms. - -Entew Beatwice. - -Sweet Beatwice, wouwdst thou x3 come when I caww'd UwU thee? -Beat. Yea, ;;w;; signyiow, and depawt when you bid me. -*notices bulge* Benye. O, :33 stay but tiww then! -Beat. x3 'Then' is spoken. Fawe you :33 weww nyow. And yet, ewe I go, wet -me go with that I >_< came fow, which *looks away* is, with knyowing what h-hath -pass'd between you and Cwaudio. -B-Benye. Onwy >_> fouw wowds; a-and OwO theweupon I-I wiww kiss t-thee. -Beat. Fouw wowds is but fouw wind, and fouw wind is but fouw -bweath, and fouw bweath is >_> nyoisome. Thewefowe I w-wiww depawt -unkiss'd. -*looks at you* Benye. Thou hast f-fwighted the wowd out of his wight sense, so -fowcibwe i-is thy wit. But I must ^-^ teww thee pwainwy, Cwaudio -undewgoes *screams* my chawwenge; and eithew I must *hugs tightly* showtwy heaw fwom him -ow I w-wiww subscwibe h-him a cowawd. A-And I pway thee :3 nyow teww me, -*teleports behind you* fow which of my bad pawts *leans over* didst thou fiwst faww in wove with me? -Beat. Fow OwO them aww togethew, >w< which *sweats* maintain'd so powitic a state of -eviw that t-they wiww nyot admit any good pawt t-to intewmingwe with -t-them. But fow which of my good pawts did you fiwst suffew wove -*pokes you* fow me? -Benye. Suffew wove!--a good >w< epithet. I d-do *shuffles closer* suffew wove indeed, fow I -*looks away* wove thee against x3 my wiww. -B-Beat. In spite of youw heawt, I think. Awas, p-poow heawt! If >w< you -spite it fow ^.^ my sake, I w-wiww spite it fow y-youws, fow uWu I wiww nyevew -wove that which *hugs tightly* my fwiend h-hates. ->_< Benye. *giggles shyly* Thou and I awe too w-wise to woo p-peaceabwy. -Beat. I-It appeaws >w< nyot in t-this *cuddles you* confession. Thewe's nyot onye wise man -among twenty, that w-wiww pwaise *cuddles you* himsewf. -Benye. An owd, an owd instance, Beatwice, that wiv'd in the time of -good nyeighbouws. If a man do ;;w;; nyot e-ewect in this age his own *moans* tomb -ewe he dies, *shuffles closer* he shaww wive ^w^ nyo wongew in monyument t-than the beww -wings and the widow weeps. -Beat. And how wong is that, think y-you? -Benye. *leans over* Question: why, OwO an houw in cwamouw and a quawtew in wheum. -Thewefowe x3 is it most expedient fow the UwU wise, if Don Wowm (his -conscience) find *looks away* nyo impediment to the contwawy, uWu to be the twumpet -of his own viwtues, as I uWu am *moans* to >_< mysewf. So *shuffles closer* much fow pwaising -mysewf, *teleports behind you* who, I mysewf wiww *pokes you* beaw witnyess, is pwaisewowthy. And nyow -teww me, *hugs tightly* how doth y-youw cousin? -Beat. Vewy iww. -Benye. And *cuddles you* how do you? -Beat. Vewy iww too. -Benye. Sewve God, wove me, ^.^ and mend. Thewe w-wiww I weave y-you too, fow -hewe comes onye in haste. - -Entew U-Uwsuwa. - -Uws. Madam, you must come to youw uncwe. Yondew's owd coiw *notices bulge* at home. -It is pwoved *notices bulge* my Wady Hewo hath been fawsewy xDD accus'd, the Pwince -and Cwaudio m-mightiwy abus'd, and Don J-John is the authow o-of *screams* aww, -w-who is fwed and UwU gonye. W-Wiww y-you come pwesentwy? ->_< Beat. Wiww you g-go heaw this nyews, signyiow? -Benye. I wiww wive in thy heawt, *shuffles closer* die in thy wap, *giggles shyly* and be *giggles shyly* buwied t-thy -*leans over* eyes; and moweovew, I-I wiww *sighs* go with thee to thy uncwe's. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye *hugs tightly* III. -A chuwchyawd. - -*teleports behind you* Entew Cwaudio, D-Don P-Pedwo, and thwee ow fouw with tapews, -[-[fowwowed by Musicians]. - -Cwaud. Is this the m-monyument *teleports behind you* of Weonyato? -Wowd. I-It is, m-my wowd. -Cwaud. [weads fwom a scwoww] - -Epitaph. - -Donye to death by swandewous tongues -Was the Hewo that hewe *blushes* wies. -uWu Death, >_> in guewdon of hew w-wwongs, -Gives hew fame which nyevew d-dies. -So the wife that died with shame -*giggles shyly* Wives in death with gwowious fame. - -^-^ Hang thou thewe upon the t-tomb, -[Hangs up the scwoww.] -*twerks* Pwaising hew when I am d-dumb. ->w< Nyow, *twerks* music, sound, and sing youw s-sowemn hymn. - -Song. - -Pawdon, goddess of the nyight, -Those t-that swew thy v-viwgin knyight; -Fow *looks away* the which, with songs o-of woe, -Wound about hew tomb t-they go. -Midnyight, assist ouw moan, -H-Hewp us to *giggles shyly* sigh and gwoan -*moans* Heaviwy, heaviwy, -Gwaves, yawn and y-yiewd youw d-dead, -Tiww death be uttewed -:33 Heaviwy, heaviwy. - -Cwaud. Nyow unto thy bonyes good *screams* nyight! -*sweats* Yeawwy wiww I do this wite. -*cries* Pedwo. *pokes you* Good mowwow, mastews. Put *shuffles closer* youw t-towches out. -The *hugs tightly* wowves *twerks* have pwey'd, and wook, the gentwe d-day, -Befowe the wheews of Phoebus, *notices bulge* wound about -Dappwes the dwowsy east with spots of gwey. -Thanks to you aww, and weave us. Fawe y-you weww. -Cwaud. Good mowwow, mastews. Each *cries* his sevewaw way. -Pedwo. Come, ;;w;; wet us hence and p-put on othew weeds, -And then t-to Weonyato's we ^-^ wiww go. -C-Cwaud. And Hymen *cries* nyow with wuckiew issue speeds -Than this fow *blushes* whom we :3 wend'wed up this woe. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye IV -*cuddles you* The haww in W-Weonyato's house. - -*looks at you* Entew Weonyato, Benyedick, [Beatwice,] *moans* Mawgawet, Uwsuwa, uWu Antonyio, -Fwiaw [-[Fwancis], Hewo. - -F-Fwiaw. Did I n-nyot teww you she was innyocent? -Weon. So awe the Pwince and *cries* Cwaudio, who accus'd hew -U-Upon the ewwow that you heawd debated. -But Mawgawet was in some fauwt fow t-this, -*notices bulge* Awthough against *sighs* hew wiww, as it appeaws -In the twue couwse of aww the question. -*cries* Ant. Weww, I-I am gwad that aww things sowt so weww. -B-Benye. And so am I, *cries* being ewse by faith enfowc'd -To caww young Cwaudio to a weckonying xDD fow ^w^ it. -Weon. Weww, daughtew, and you gentwewomen aww, -Withdwaw *moans* into a chambew by youwsewves, -And when I send fow you, c-come hithew mask'd. -Exeunt Wadies. -UwU The *looks at you* Pwince and Cwaudio uWu pwomis'd xDD by this *blushes* houw -xDD To v-visit *leans over* me. You *notices bulge* knyow youw office, bwothew: -You must be ;;w;; fathew to youw bwothew's daughtew, -And *giggles shyly* give ^.^ hew to young Cwaudio. -Ant. W-Which ^-^ I wiww *cries* do with confiwm'd countenyance. -Benye. Fwiaw, *giggles shyly* I must entweat youw pains, I-I t-think. -*looks away* Fwiaw. To do what, signyiow? -Benye. ^.^ To *giggles shyly* bind me, ow u-undo m-me--onye of them. -S-Signyiow Weonyato, twuth it i-is, good signyiow, -*giggles shyly* Youw nyiece wegawds me w-with a-an ^-^ eye of favouw. -Weon. :33 That eye *moans* my daughtew went hew. 'Tis most xDD twue. -Benye. And I do with a-an eye of wove wequite hew. -W-Weon. The sight *hugs tightly* wheweof I :3 think you had f-fwom me, -Fwom Cwaudio, and the Pwince; b-but *shuffles closer* what's youw wiww? -Benye. Youw answew, siw, is enyigmaticaw; -B-But, fow my *shuffles closer* wiww, *cries* my wiww is, youw good wiww -May stand with ouws, this day to be c-conjoin'd -I-In the state of honyouwabwe mawwiage; -In which, good *hugs tightly* fwiaw, I shaww >w< desiwe youw hewp. -Weon. *giggles shyly* My heawt is ^w^ with youw wiking. -F-Fwiaw. And my hewp. - -Entew Don Pedwo >w< and Cwaudio *shuffles closer* and *cuddles you* two ow thwee othew. - -*sighs* Hewe comes the Pwince *looks at you* and C-Cwaudio. -Pedwo. Good mowwow to t-this faiw assembwy. -Weon. G-Good *hugs tightly* mowwow, P-Pwince; good ^-^ mowwow, Cwaudio. -We hewe attend you. Awe you yet x3 detewmin'd -To-day t-to mawwy with my *shuffles closer* bwothew's daughtew? -Cwaud. I'ww howd my mind, wewe UwU she UwU an Ethiope. -Weon. Caww hew OwO fowth, bwothew. Hewe's the fwiaw weady. ->w< [Exit Antonyio.] -Pedwo. Good mowwow, *cuddles you* Benyedick. Why, what's t-the mattew -*moans* That y-you have such ;;w;; a *shuffles closer* Febwuawy face, -So fuww of ^-^ fwost, of stowm, and :33 cwoudinyess? -Cwaud. I think he thinks upon the savage buww. -Tush, feaw nyot, man! ^-^ We'ww tip thy howns with gowd, -*moans* And a-aww Euwopa s-shaww wejoice at thee, -As once Euwopa did a-at wusty Jove -When *twerks* he wouwd pway the *shuffles closer* nyobwe beast in wove. -B-Benye. Buww Jove, *blushes* siw, had an a-amiabwe wow, -And s-some ;;w;; such stwange buww weap'd youw *cries* fathew's cow -And *pokes you* got a *looks at you* cawf in that same nyobwe feat -Much wike to you, fow you h-have just his bweat. - -E-Entew [Weonyato's] bwothew [Antonyio], Hewo, Beatwice, ->w< Mawgawet, Uwsuwa, [the w-wadies weawing *cries* masks]. - -Cwaud. ^w^ Fow this I owe *moans* you. Hewe comes othew weckonyings. -Which is the w-wady I must seize upon? -*pokes you* Ant. This same is she, and I do ^.^ give y-you hew. -Cwaud. Why then, she's minye. *sweats* Sweet, wet me ;;w;; see youw face. -Weon. Nyo, that y-you shaww nyot tiww you take *looks away* hew hand -Befowe this *hugs tightly* fwiaw and sweaw to mawwy hew. -Cwaud. Give m-me youw hand befowe t-this h-howy fwiaw. -I am youw husband if *blushes* you wike of me. -Hewo. And when I wiv'd *shuffles closer* I was youw othew wife; [Unmasks.] ->_< And when you w-wov'd you wewe my othew husband. -Cwaud. A-Anyothew Hewo! -Hewo. N-Nyothing cewtainyew. -Onye Hewo d-died d-defiw'd; but I do wive, -And ^.^ suwewy as I-I wive, I am a maid. -Pedwo. The fowmew Hewo! ^-^ Hewo that *giggles shyly* is dead! -W-Weon. She died, my wowd, b-but w-whiwes hew *teleports behind you* swandew wiv'd. ->w< Fwiaw. Aww this amazement can I q-quawify, -When, aftew that the howy wites awe ended, -I'ww teww you *looks at you* wawgewy of faiw Hewo's death. -Meantime wet wondew seem f-famiwiaw, -And to the c-chapew UwU wet *sweats* us pwesentwy. -Benye. S-Soft and faiw, fwiaw. Which is Beatwice? -Beat. [unmasks] I answew to that n-nyame. What is youw *screams* wiww? -Benye. Do nyot *twerks* you wove me? -Beat. Why, *blushes* nyo; nyo mowe than weason. -Benye. Why, then youw *screams* uncwe, and *sweats* the Pwince, and Cwaudio -Have been deceived; *shuffles closer* fow they swowe you did. -Beat. Do nyot you wove me? -B-Benye. *moans* Twoth, nyo; n-nyo m-mowe *giggles shyly* than w-weason. -B-Beat. Why, t-then my cousin, M-Mawgawet, *teleports behind you* and Uwsuwa -Awe much deceiv'd; fow they uWu did sweaw y-you did. -Benye. They s-swowe that ;;w;; you *twerks* wewe awmost sick fow me. -:33 Beat. xDD They >w< swowe that ^-^ you wewe w-weww-nyigh dead fow me. -B-Benye. 'Tis *blushes* nyo ^w^ such mattew. Then *screams* you d-do nyot wove me? -Beat. Nyo, twuwy, b-but in fwiendwy wecompense. -W-Weon. Come, cousin, I am suwe you wove the g-gentweman. -Cwaud. And *sweats* I'ww b-be *sighs* swown upon't that h-he >_< woves h-hew; -*giggles shyly* Fow hewe's a papew wwitten in his hand, -A h-hawting s-sonnyet of h-his *sighs* own p-puwe ^-^ bwain, -*pokes you* Fashion'd to Beatwice. -Hewo. And h-hewe's anyothew, -*leans over* Wwit in x3 my cousin's hand, stow'n fwom *blushes* hew pocket, -C-Containying hew affection ^w^ unto Benyedick. -Benye. >_> A miwacwe! Hewe's ouw own hands against ouw heawts. -Come, I wiww have *blushes* thee; xDD but, by this wight, *leans over* I take thee f-fow pity. -Beat. I-I wouwd n-nyot deny you; but, by this g-good day, *giggles shyly* I y-yiewd upon -gweat pewsuasion, and pawtwy *sighs* to save youw wife, fow I was towd -you wewe i-in a consumption. -*blushes* Benye. Peace! I w-wiww ^w^ stop youw mouth. [Kisses hew.] -Beat. I'ww teww thee what, Pwince: a cowwege of wit-cwackews cannyot -fwout me out of my h-humouw. Dost thou think I cawe fow a uWu satiwe ow -an epigwam? Nyo. If a man wiww be beaten with bwains, 'a shaww -weaw nyothing handsome about *notices bulge* him. In bwief, since I d-do p-puwpose t-to -mawwy, I-I wiww think nyothing t-to any *moans* puwpose that the wowwd can say -against it; and thewefowe nyevew *teleports behind you* fwout at me f-fow what I have said -against it; ^.^ fow man is a giddy *moans* thing, OwO and this is my *screams* concwusion. -*cries* Fow thy pawt, Cwaudio, I-I did think to have >_< beaten thee; but in -that thou awt wike to be my kinsman, wive unbwuis'd, a-and wove my -cousin. -Cwaud. I had weww hop'd thou wouwdst have denyied ;;w;; Beatwice, that xDD I -might have cudgeww'd thee out of thy singwe *looks away* wife, to make thee *blushes* a -*looks at you* doubwe-deawew, which out of q-question thou wiwt be *moans* if my c-cousin do -nyot wook exceeding nyawwowwy to thee. -Benye. C-Come, come, uWu we awe fwiends. Wet's have a dance *screams* ewe we a-awe -*hugs tightly* mawwied, that we may wighten *pokes you* ouw *shuffles closer* own heawts and ouw wives' *sweats* heews. -Weon. We'ww have dancing aftewwawd. -Benye. Fiwst, of my wowd! uWu Thewefowe p-pway, *notices bulge* music. P-Pwince, thou awt -sad. *giggles shyly* Get thee a >_> wife, g-get thee ^w^ a wife! Thewe is nyo staff *twerks* mowe -wevewent *blushes* than onye tipp'd with hown. - -Entew M-Messengew. - -Mess. My wowd, youw bwothew John *sighs* is ta'en in fwight, -And bwought with awmed men back to Messinya. -Benye. T-Think nyot on him tiww to-mowwow. I'ww *moans* devise >_> thee bwave -p-punyishments fow UwU him. *giggles shyly* Stwike up, pipews! -Dance. [Exeunt.] - - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1605 - - -THE TWAGEDY *blushes* OF OTHEWWO, MOOW OF VENyICE - -by *looks away* Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -OTHEWWO, the Moow, genyewaw of the *twerks* Venyetian fowces -DESDEMONyA, h-his wife -IAGO, ensign t-to *screams* Othewwo -EMIWIA, his *looks at you* wife, wady-in-waiting to Desdemonya -CASSIO, wieutenyant to *screams* Othewwo -THE DUKE OF VENyICE -BWABANTIO, >_> Venyetian S-Senyatow, fathew of Desdemonya -GWATIANyO, nyobweman of V-Venyice, :3 bwothew of *shuffles closer* Bwabantio -WODOVICO, n-nyobweman of Venyice, kinsman of Bwabantio -WODEWIGO, wejected s-suitow o-of Desdemonya -xDD BIANCA, mistwess of Cassio -MONTANyO, a Cypwiot officiaw -A Cwown in sewvice to Othewwo -Senyatows, Saiwows, M-Messengews, O-Officews, Gentwemen, *sighs* Musicians, and -Attendants - - - - -uWu <w< VEWSION OF >_> THE >_> COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE I-IS COPYWIGHT 1-1990-1993 BY W-WOWWD WIBWAWY, I-INC., A-AND IS -^w^ PWOVIDED *sweats* BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG >w< ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES x3 (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *hugs tightly* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION ^w^ INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT *moans* CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: ^-^ Venyice and Cypwus - -ACT I. SCENyE I-I. -Venyice. A stweet. - -Entew Wodewigo a-and Iago. - -*giggles shyly* WODEWIGO. Tush, nyevew teww me! I xDD take it much unkindwy -That thou, Iago, who hast had my puwse -As xDD if the stwings wewe thinye, shouwdst knyow of this. -*looks away* IAGO. 'Sbwood, but y-you wiww nyot heaw me. -If e-evew I did dweam of such a mattew, -Abhow m-me. -WODEWIGO. Thou towd'st me thou *teleports behind you* didst *screams* howd him i-in thy hate. -IAGO. Despise me, if I do nyot. Thwee gweat o-onyes of the city, -In pewsonyaw suit t-to make me his wieutenyant, -^.^ Off-capp'd to him; and, by the faith of man, -I knyow my pwice, I am wowth nyo wowse a p-pwace. -B-But he, as *looks away* woving his own pwide >_< and puwposes, -E-Evades them, with a bumbast ciwcumstance -Howwibwy stuff'd with epithets of w-waw, -And, in *giggles shyly* concwusion, -Nyonsuits my *moans* mediatows; fow, "Cewtes," says he, -"-"I have awweady chose my officew." -And what was he? -Fowsooth, a OwO gweat awithmetician, -Onye Michaew Cassio, a-a Fwowentinye -(A f-fewwow a-awmost d-damn'd i-in a faiw wife) -*notices bulge* That nyevew set a-a squadwon xDD in the fiewd, -*shuffles closer* Nyow the division of a battwe knyows -Mowe *hugs tightly* than a spinstew; unwess the bookish *leans over* theowic, -Whewein the toged *blushes* consuws can pwopose -As mastewwy a-as he. M-Mewe pwattwe without pwactice -:33 Is a-aww his s-sowdiewship. But he, siw, *looks away* had the ewection; -xDD And uWu I, of whom *looks away* his eyes had seen the *looks away* pwoof -At Whodes, at Cypwus, and >w< on othew gwounds -Chwistian and heathen, m-must be bewee'd and cawm'd -By debitow *looks at you* and cweditow. This countew-castew, -He, in *pokes you* good time, must h-his wieutenyant be, -*moans* And I- *screams* God bwess the mawk!- his Moowship's ancient. -*cries* WODEWIGO. By heaven, I wathew wouwd have been his hangman. -IAGO. Why, thewe's nyo wemedy. 'Tis the cuwse of sewvice, -Pwefewment goes by w-wettew and affection, -And nyot by owd g-gwadation, w-whewe each s-second -S-Stood heiw *cuddles you* to the fiwst. Nyow, siw, b-be j-judge youwsewf -Whethew I *moans* in any just tewm am affinyed -To wove the *giggles shyly* Moow. -*looks away* WODEWIGO. I-I xDD wouwd nyot fowwow him t-then. -IAGO. O, siw, c-content you. -I fowwow him ;;w;; to sewve my tuwn upon him: -*twerks* We *sighs* cannyot :3 aww be mastews, >w< nyow aww mastews -*cuddles you* Cannyot be twuwy fowwow'd. You >_< shaww mawk -M-Many a OwO duteous a-and knyee-cwooking knyave, -That ^.^ doting o-on his own obsequious bondage -*sighs* Weaws out his time, *cuddles you* much *sweats* wike h-his mastew's ass, -Fow nyought but pwovendew, and when he's owd, cashiew'd. -Whip me s-such honyest knyaves. *looks away* Othews thewe awe -*cries* Who, twimm'd i-in fowms a-and v-visages of duty, -Keep yet theiw heawts attending on t-themsewves, -And thwowing but shows of sewvice on theiw wowds -Do weww *sighs* thwive b-by them; and when they have w-winyed t-theiw coats -Do themsewves homage. These fewwows have some uWu souw, -And such a onye do I pwofess mysewf. -Fow, siw, -It is as s-suwe as you awe Wodewigo, -Wewe I the M-Moow, I w-wouwd nyot be Iago. -In f-fowwowing him, I fowwow but mysewf; -Heaven is my judge, nyot I-I fow wove and d-duty, -But seeming s-so, fow m-my p-pecuwiaw end. -Fow when my *cries* outwawd action doth demonstwate -T-The nyative a-act and f-figuwe of my heawt -In compwement extewn, '-'tis *twerks* nyot wong aftew -But I wiww weaw my heawt upon my sweeve -Fow daws to peck at: I am nyot what *blushes* I am. -WODEWIGO. >_< What a fuww fowtunye does >w< the thick-wips owe, -*moans* If he *giggles shyly* can cawwy't thus! -I-IAGO. *shuffles closer* Caww up hew ;;w;; fathew, -Wouse him, make aftew him, poison his dewight, -Pwocwaim UwU him in *looks away* the stweets, i-incense hew *twerks* kinsmen, -And, though he in *teleports behind you* a fewtiwe cwimate d-dweww, -Pwague h-him with fwies. >w< Though *shuffles closer* that his joy be joy, -Yet thwow such changes of *shuffles closer* vexation on't -As it may wose some cowow. -*cuddles you* WODEWIGO. *blushes* Hewe is hew f-fathew's *blushes* house; I'ww caww a-awoud. -*notices bulge* IAGO. Do, with *leans over* wike timowous accent *twerks* and diwe yeww -As when, xDD by nyight and ^w^ nyegwigence, *giggles shyly* the *looks away* fiwe -Is spied in popuwous cities. -WODEWIGO. What, ho, Bwabantio! Signyiow Bwabantio, ho! -IAGO. >w< Awake! What, ho, Bwabantio! Thieves! Thieves! *moans* Thieves! -*cries* Wook to youw h-house, youw daughtew, a-and *looks at you* youw b-bags! -T-Thieves! Thieves! - -Bwabantio appeaws a-above, at a window. - -BWABANTIO. What i-is the weason of this tewwibwe *leans over* summons? -What is the mattew thewe? -WODEWIGO. Signyiow, is aww y-youw famiwy within? -IAGO. Awe youw doows wock'd? -BWABANTIO. Why? Whewefowe ask you this? -IAGO. 'Zounds, siw, you'we wobb'd! Fow shame, put on youw gown; -Youw heawt is buwst, you have *screams* wost hawf youw souw; -*twerks* Even nyow, nyow, vewy nyow, xDD an owd bwack wam -Is tupping *looks at you* youw white ewe. Awise, awise! -A-Awake the s-snyowting citizens with the beww, -Ow ewse the deviw wiww make a gwandsiwe o-of you. -Awise, OwO I OwO say! -B-BWABANTIO. What, h-have you wost y-youw wits? -W-WODEWIGO. Most wevewend signyiow, do you knyow my voice? -BWABANTIO. *cuddles you* Nyot I. What awe you? -WODEWIGO. My nyame is Wodewigo. -BWABANTIO. T-The wowsew wewcome. -I have chawged thee nyot to haunt about ;;w;; my x3 doows. -In h-honyest pwainnyess *notices bulge* thou hast heawd me say -My daughtew is *looks away* nyot fow thee; a-and nyow, in madnyess, -uWu Being fuww of suppew and distempewing dwaughts, -Upon mawicious bwavewy, dost thou come -To stawt m-my quiet. -WODEWIGO. Siw, siw, *leans over* siw- -BWABANTIO. But thou must nyeeds be xDD suwe -My spiwit and my pwace h-have in them p-powew -T-To make this bittew *hugs tightly* to >w< thee. -WODEWIGO. P-Patience, g-good siw. -BWABANTIO. What teww'st thou *notices bulge* me of wobbing? This is Venyice; -xDD My house i-is nyot a gwange. -WODEWIGO. *shuffles closer* Most *hugs tightly* gwave Bwabantio, -In simpwe and puwe souw I come to you. -IAGO. 'Zounds, siw, you awe onye of those that wiww nyot sewve God, -;;w;; if t-the deviw bid you. Because ;;w;; we come to do *sweats* you sewvice and you -think we awe wuffians, :33 you'ww h-have *pokes you* youw *sighs* daughtew covewed with a-a -Bawbawy howse; you'ww have youw nyephews nyeigh to you; y-you'ww have -couwsews fow cousins, and gennyets fow gewmans. -BWABANTIO. What *cuddles you* pwofanye wwetch awt thou? -IAGO. I am onye, siw, >_> that comes to teww *moans* you youw daughtew and *moans* the -Moow OwO awe nyow *cuddles you* making the beast w-with t-two backs. -BWABANTIO. Thou *notices bulge* awe a viwwain. -IAGO. You awe- a senyatow. -BWABANTIO. T-This thou shawt answew; I knyow thee, Wodewigo. -*sighs* WODEWIGO. Siw, I wiww answew anything. *sighs* But, *moans* I b-beseech you, -If't be y-youw pweasuwe and m-most wise consent, -As pawtwy I *teleports behind you* find it is, that youw faiw daughtew, -At this odd-even and duww watch o' the nyight, -Twanspowted with nyo wowse nyow bettew *cries* guawd -But >_< with a knyave of c-common hiwe, a gondowiew, -To the gwoss cwasps *sweats* of a wascivious Moow- -*teleports behind you* If this *sighs* be knyown to you, and youw awwowance, -We then have donye y-you b-bowd and saucy :3 wwongs; -But OwO if *moans* you knyow nyot this, my mannyews teww me -We have youw w-wwong webuke. Do nyot bewieve -*giggles shyly* That, fwom the sense *moans* of aww civiwity, -I thus *moans* wouwd *cuddles you* pway a-and twifwe with youw wevewence. -Youw daughtew, if you h-have nyot *notices bulge* given hew weave, -I say again, hath made a gwoss wevowt, -Tying hew duty, beauty, wit, and fowtunyes -*blushes* In *looks at you* an *sweats* extwavagant and wheewing stwangew -xDD Of hewe and evewywhewe. Stwaight satisfy youwsewf: -If :3 she be *teleports behind you* in hew chambew ow y-youw house, -Wet woose on me the justice of xDD the state -Fow thus dewuding *shuffles closer* you. -BWABANTIO. Stwike on the t-tindew, uWu ho! -Give me a tapew! Caww u-up a-aww my peopwe! -T-This accident is nyot ^.^ unwike my >_< dweam; -Bewief of ^-^ it *shuffles closer* oppwesses me *blushes* awweady. -Wight, I say, wight! *pokes you* Exit above. -IAGO. Faweweww, fow I-I must *sweats* weave you. -It seems nyot ^.^ meet, nyow whowesome to my pwace, -To be pwoduced- as, if I stay, I shaww- -Against >_> the Moow; fow I do knyow, t-the state, -Howevew t-this may gaww him *cries* with some check, -Cannyot with safety cast him, fow h-he's embawk'd -With such woud :3 weason to xDD the *moans* Cypwus waws, -Which even nyow s-stands in act, t-that, fow t-theiw souws, -A-Anyothew of his fathom they have nyonye -To wead theiw businyess; i-in which wegawd, -T-Though I-I do hate h-him *teleports behind you* as I do heww *looks away* pains, -Yet fow nyecessity of *cries* pwesent :3 wife, -I m-must show *pokes you* out a-a fwag and sign o-of *twerks* wove, -*shuffles closer* Which is indeed but sign. That you shaww suwewy find him, -Wead uWu to the Sagittawy t-the waised seawch, -And thewe wiww I be uWu with ^.^ him. So faweweww. Exit. - -Entew, bewow, Bwabantio, *teleports behind you* in h-his n-nyightgown, a-and -Sewvants with towches. - -BWABANTIO. It uWu is *blushes* too *cuddles you* twue :33 an e-eviw: gonye she i-is, -A-And what's to come of m-my despised t-time -Is nyought b-but bittewnyess. ^.^ Nyow, *shuffles closer* Wodewigo, -Whewe *cries* didst t-thou see hew? O unhappy giww! -*hugs tightly* With the *screams* Moow, say'st t-thou? Who wouwd be a fathew! -How didst t-thou knyow 'twas she? O, *looks at you* she *looks at you* deceives me -Past thought! What *looks at you* said s-she *teleports behind you* to you? G-Get mowe tapews. -Waise aww my kindwed. Awe they mawwied, think you? -WODEWIGO. Twuwy, I think *giggles shyly* they awe. -BWABANTIO. O heaven! How got she out? O tweason *leans over* of the bwood! -Fathews, fwom hence >_< twust nyot *giggles shyly* youw daughtews' minds -By x3 what you see them act. Is thewe xDD nyot chawms -By w-which t-the pwopewty of youth and maidhood -May *notices bulge* be abused? Have you :33 nyot wead, Wodewigo, -Of some ^.^ such thing? -WODEWIGO. Y-Yes, siw, I-I have indeed. -BWABANTIO. Caww up my bwothew. O, w-wouwd you had had ;;w;; hew! -Some onye way, :3 some anyothew. D-Do you knyow -OwO Whewe we may appwehend hew and the Moow? -W-WODEWIGO. I think I-I can discovew him, if you pwease -To get g-good guawd and go *cuddles you* awong with me. -:33 BWABANTIO. Pway you, wead on. At evewy h-house I'ww caww; -I may command at most. Get weapons, xDD ho! -And waise some x3 speciaw officews *sighs* of nyight. -On, good *sighs* Wodewigo, I'ww *cuddles you* desewve youw p-pains. Exeunt. - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -Anyothew *moans* stweet. - -Entew Othewwo, Iago, and Attendants with towches. - -I-IAGO. Though in t-the *leans over* twade o-of *leans over* waw I have swain men, -Yet d-do I-I howd *shuffles closer* it *sighs* vewy stuff o' the conscience -T-To do n-nyo contwived *twerks* muwthew. I wack i-inyiquity -Sometimes to do me sewvice. Nyinye ow ten t-times -*cries* I had thought to have yewk'd *looks away* him hewe undew the wibs. -OTHEWWO. 'Tis bettew as i-it is. -I-IAGO. Nyay, but *pokes you* he pwated -A-And spoke such scuwvy and pwovoking tewms -Against youw *looks away* honyow -*giggles shyly* That, with the wittwe godwinyess I have, -I did fuww hawd ^.^ fowbeaw him. But I p-pway you, siw, -Awe *sweats* you fast mawwied? Be a-assuwed of this, -That the *pokes you* magnyifico is *moans* much *notices bulge* bewoved, -And hath i-in his *twerks* effect a voice uWu potentiaw -As doubwe a-as the D-Duke's. He wiww divowce you, -Ow put upon :3 you *cuddles you* what westwaint and gwievance -T-The waw, with aww h-his might t-to enfowce it on, -Wiww give him cabwe. -OTHEWWO. Wet *shuffles closer* him do his spite. -My sewvices, which I h-have donye the signyiowy, -Shaww *giggles shyly* out-tongue his compwaints. 'Tis yet to *looks away* knyow- -Which, when :3 I knyow *cries* that b-boasting is an honyow, -I shaww pwomuwgate- I fetch my :3 wife *pokes you* and being -Fwom men of woyaw siege, and my demewits -May speak unbonnyeted to as pwoud a fowtunye -A-As this that I have weach'd. Fow knyow, I-Iago, -But t-that I wove the g-gentwe Desdemonya, -I wouwd nyot my unhoused fwee condition -*sighs* Put into ciwcumscwiption and confinye -F-Fow the sea's wowth. But, wook! W-What wights come yond? -IAGO. Those *sighs* awe the waised f-fathew and his fwiends. -You wewe best go in. -OTHEWWO. Nyot I; I must be f-found. -*cuddles you* My pawts, my titwe, and my pewfect souw -^.^ Shaww manyifest m-me wightwy. I-Is it t-they? -I-IAGO. By Janyus, I think nyo. - -Entew Cassio and cewtain Officews with towches. - -OTHEWWO. T-The sewvants of the Duke? And m-my wieutenyant? -;;w;; The goodnyess of the nyight upon you, fwiends! -^.^ What UwU is the nyews? -CASSIO. The Duke does gweet you, g-genyewaw, -And he wequiwes youw haste-post-haste appeawance, -Even *teleports behind you* on the instant. -OTHEWWO. What is the *sighs* mattew, t-think y-you? -*leans over* CASSIO. Something fwom Cypwus, as I may ^-^ divinye; -It is a *cries* businyess *leans over* of some heat. The gawweys -Have sent >_< a dozen *sweats* sequent messengews -This vewy nyight at o-onye a-anyothew's *cries* heews; -And >_> many *sighs* of the consuws, waised *shuffles closer* and m-met, -Awe at the Duke's awweady. *cries* You have been hotwy c-caww'd fow, -W-When, being nyot at youw wodging to be found, -The Senyate OwO hath s-sent about thwee sevewaw quests -To seawch :33 you out. -OTHEWWO. '-'Tis w-weww I-I a-am found by ;;w;; you. -I wiww but spend a wowd hewe in the house -A-And go w-with you. Exit. -CASSIO. Ancient, ;;w;; what *sweats* makes he hewe? -IAGO. Faith, he tonyight hath boawded a wand cawack; -*twerks* If it *blushes* pwove wawfuw pwize, *pokes you* he's made fowevew. -C-CASSIO. I *blushes* do nyot undewstand. -IAGO. H-He's mawwied. -CASSIO. *cries* To who? - -:33 We-entew Othewwo. - -*teleports behind you* IAGO. Mawwy, to- Come, captain, ^.^ wiww you ^-^ go? -OTHEWWO. Have with you. -C-CASSIO. Hewe comes a-anyothew twoop to s-seek fow you. -I-IAGO. It is Bwabantio. Genyewaw, be advised, -He comes to bad intent. - -*pokes you* Entew *looks at you* Bwabantio, *sighs* Wodewigo, and Officews with towches -*hugs tightly* and x3 weapons. - -O-OTHEWWO. *sighs* Howwa! Stand thewe! -WODEWIGO. Signyiow, it is the Moow. ->_< BWABANTIO. Down with him, thief! -They dwaw on *moans* both sides. -IAGO. You, Wodewigo! Come, siw, I-I am fow >_> you. -OTHEWWO. Keep >_> up youw bwight >_< swowds, fow *shuffles closer* the dew wiww wust them. -Good signyiow, you shaww mowe x3 command with yeaws -Than with y-youw >w< weapons. -BWABANTIO. O thou fouw thief, whewe hast :3 thou stow'd my daughtew? -Damn'd a-as ;;w;; thou awt, thou hast enchanted hew, -Fow I'ww w-wefew me to *blushes* aww things of sense, -If she in *blushes* chains *looks at you* of magic wewe n-nyot bound, -W-Whethew a-a xDD maid so tendew, *cries* faiw, and happy, -So opposite >_< to mawwiage that she shunn'd -T-The weawthy, cuwwed :3 dawwings of ouw nyation, -Wouwd evew have, to incuw *cuddles you* a genyewaw mock, -Wun fwom hew guawdage to the sooty bosom -Of such a-a thing ;;w;; as thou- to feaw, *moans* nyot to dewight. -Judge ;;w;; me the wowwd, if 'tis nyot gwoss in s-sense -That t-thou hast pwacticed on hew with fouw chawms, -Abused hew dewicate y-youth with d-dwugs ow minyewaws -That weaken motion. I'ww h-have't *teleports behind you* disputed >_> on; -'Tis pwobabwe, and p-pawpabwe to thinking. -I thewefowe appwehend and do *sweats* attach thee -*screams* Fow an abusew ;;w;; of the :3 wowwd, a pwacticew -Of awts *cuddles you* inhibited and out o-of OwO wawwant. -Way howd upon him. If *blushes* he do wesist, -Subdue him a-at his pewiw. -OTHEWWO. Howd youw hands, -B-Both you of my incwinying and ;;w;; the west. -Wewe x3 it my cue t-to fight, I shouwd have knyown it -Without a pwomptew. Whewe wiww y-you that I go -To answew this youw chawge? -BWABANTIO. To pwison, tiww fit time -Of waw x3 and couwse of diwect session -C-Caww thee t-to answew. ->w< OTHEWWO. What if *moans* I do obey? -How may the Duke be thewewith *shuffles closer* satisfied, -Whose messengews *blushes* awe hewe about my side, -U-Upon some pwesent b-businyess of the >_> state -To bwing me to him? -FIWST OFFICEW. 'Tis twue, most wowthy *notices bulge* signyiow; -The Duke's in c-counciw, and youw n-nyobwe s-sewf, -x3 I am *sweats* suwe, is sent fow. -BWABANTIO. >_< How? T-The Duke in counciw? -In this time of the nyight? Bwing him away; -*pokes you* Minye's nyot a-an idwe cause. The Duke himsewf, -O-Ow a-any *sweats* of my bwothews of the state, -Cannyot ;;w;; but feew this wwong *pokes you* as 'twewe t-theiw own; -Fow i-if *twerks* such actions m-may have passage fwee, -B-Bond swaves and pagans shaww x3 ouw statesmen be. *shuffles closer* Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -A counciw chambew. The Duke and Senyatows sitting ^-^ at a tabwe; -Officews attending. - -DUKE. Thewe is nyo composition in these nyews -That gives them cwedit. -F-FIWST SENyATOW. Indeed they *screams* awe d-dispwopowtion'd; -My wettews say a hundwed and s-seven gawweys. -D-DUKE. A-And minye, a hundwed and fowty. -SECOND SENyATOW. And minye, t-two hundwed. -B-But uWu though they j-jump nyot on a just a-account- -As i-in *sweats* these >w< cases, whewe the aim wepowts, -'Tis oft with diffewence- *giggles shyly* yet do they aww confiwm -A Tuwkish fweet, and beawing up t-to Cypwus. -DUKE. Nyay, it is ^-^ possibwe enyough to judgement. -I-I do nyot so secuwe me in *twerks* the ewwow, -But the main awticwe I do a-appwove -In feawfuw sense. -SAIWOW. [Within.] What, ho! What, ho! What, ho! -FIWST OwO OFFICEW. A messengew fwom the gawweys. - -Entew Saiwow. - -DUKE. Nyow, w-what's the businyess? -SAIWOW. The Tuwkish pwepawation makes *pokes you* fow Whodes, -So was I bid w-wepowt hewe to the state -By Signyiow Angewo. -DUKE. ^w^ How say you by this *cries* change? -FIWST SENyATOW. This :3 cannyot *cuddles you* be, -By nyo assay of ;;w;; weason; 'tis a pageant -To keep us i-in fawse gaze. When we considew -The impowtancy of Cypwus to the Tuwk, -And *twerks* wet ouwsewves again but undewstand -That as it mowe concewns the Tuwk than Whodes, -S-So *sighs* may he ;;w;; with mowe faciwe question b-beaw it, -UwU Fow that it stands nyot in *blushes* such wawwike bwace, -But a-awtogethew *pokes you* wacks the abiwities -That W-Whodes is dwess'd in. If we make thought of this, -We m-must nyot :33 think the Tuwk i-is so unskiwwfuw -To *looks away* weave that watest which c-concewns him fiwst, -Nyegwecting an attempt o-of ease and gain, -To wake and :33 wage *shuffles closer* a dangew pwofitwess. -DUKE. N-Nyay, in aww c-confidence, he's nyot fow ^.^ Whodes. -FIWST OFFICEW. Hewe i-is >_< mowe nyews. - -Entew a Messengew. - -MESSENGEW. The Ottomites, wevewend and gwacious, -Steewing with due couwse *blushes* towawd t-the iswe of Whodes, -Have >w< thewe injointed t-them with *sighs* an aftew fweet. -FIWST SENyATOW. Ay, so I *cries* thought. How many, a-as you guess? -MESSENGEW. Of thiwty s-saiw; and nyow they do we-stem -Theiw *cuddles you* backwawd couwse, beawing with fwank appeawance -Theiw puwposes towawd Cypwus. Signyiow Montanyo, -Youw twusty and most vawiant sewvitow, -W-With *giggles shyly* his fwee duty wecommends y-you thus, -A-And pways you to bewieve ^-^ him. -DUKE. 'Tis cewtain then fow Cypwus. -Mawcus Wuccicos, is nyot he in town? -FIWST SENyATOW. He's nyow *moans* in Fwowence. -DUKE. ^.^ Wwite fwom >_< us *twerks* to h-him, post-post-haste dispatch. -FIWST UwU SENyATOW. H-Hewe c-comes Bwabantio and the vawiant Moow. - -Entew :3 Bwabantio, Othewwo, Iago, *looks at you* Wodewigo, and O-Officews. - -D-DUKE. Vawiant Othewwo, we must stwaight *pokes you* empwoy y-you -Against the genyewaw e-enyemy Ottoman. -[To Bwabantio.] *pokes you* I did nyot see you; wewcome, gentwe UwU signyiow; -We wack'd youw counsew and youw hewp *screams* tonyight. -BWABANTIO. So did *looks at you* I y-youws. *twerks* Good youw Gwace, pawdon m-me: -Nyeithew *notices bulge* my pwace nyow aught I heawd of businyess -Hath w-waised me f-fwom my bed, nyow doth the *cries* genyewaw cawe -Take howd on me; fow my pawticuwaw gwief -Is of so *cries* fwood-gate and o'ewbeawing n-nyatuwe -T-That it engwuts and swawwows othew sowwows, -And it is s-stiww itsewf. -DUKE. Why, what's the m-mattew? -BWABANTIO. M-My daughtew! O, my daughtew! -AWW. Dead? -B-BWABANTIO. Ay, to me. -She is abused, s-stow'n fwom me *screams* and cowwupted -By spewws and medicinyes bought of mountebanks; -Fow nyatuwe so pwepostewouswy >_< to eww, -Being nyot d-deficient, bwind, *notices bulge* ow wame of sense, -Sans *notices bulge* witchcwaft couwd n-nyot. -D-DUKE. *pokes you* Whoe'ew he be that in this fouw pwoceeding -*hugs tightly* Hath thus beguiwed youw xDD daughtew of hewsewf -And *moans* you of h-hew, the b-bwoody book of *looks away* waw -You shaww youwsewf wead in t-the bittew wettew -Aftew *looks away* youw own sense, yea, though ouw *twerks* pwopew *notices bulge* son -Stood i-in youw a-action. -BWABANTIO. Humbwy I thank youw Gwace. -*pokes you* Hewe i-is the man, *cuddles you* this M-Moow, whom nyow, it s-seems, -Youw speciaw >_> mandate *giggles shyly* fow *screams* the state affaiws -*twerks* Hath hithew bwought. -A-AWW. W-We a-awe v-vewy sowwy fow't. -DUKE. [To Othewwo.] What in y-youw *cries* own pawt c-can you *cries* say to this? -BWABANTIO. *cries* Nyothing, but t-this is so. -OTHEWWO. Most *hugs tightly* potent, g-gwave, and wevewend signyiows, -My vewy nyobwe and appwoved good mastews, -That I have t-ta'en away this >w< owd :3 man's *pokes you* daughtew, -It is most twue; twue, I have mawwied hew; -The vewy head and fwont of :33 my offending -H-Hath *hugs tightly* this extent, nyo mowe. Wude xDD am I ^.^ in my speech, -And *shuffles closer* wittwe bwest with the soft ^-^ phwase of peace; -x3 Fow since these awms of minye had seven yeaws' pith, -Tiww nyow *looks at you* some nyinye moons wasted, they h-have xDD used -:33 Theiw deawest action in the *looks away* tented fiewd, -A-And :33 wittwe of x3 this gweat w-wowwd can I speak, -Mowe than pewtains to *moans* feats of bwoiw and battwe; -And t-thewefowe wittwe shaww I gwace my cause -I-In speaking f-fow mysewf. ^w^ Yet, by youw gwacious patience, -I-I *cries* wiww a wound unvawnyish'd tawe *giggles shyly* dewivew -Of my w-whowe couwse of wove: w-what dwugs, what chawms, -*blushes* What conjuwation, and what mighty magic- -Fow such pwoceeding I am chawged withaw- -I *leans over* won h-his daughtew. -BWABANTIO. *notices bulge* A maiden n-nyevew bowd, -Of spiwit s-so stiww and quiet that h-hew OwO motion -B-Bwush'd a-at h-hewsewf; and she- OwO in spite of nyatuwe, -Of yeaws, o-of countwy, cwedit, evewything- -To faww in wove with what *pokes you* she feaw'd to wook on! -It is judgement maim'd and UwU most impewfect, -That wiww confess pewfection so couwd eww -Against a-aww wuwes of nyatuwe, and must be dwiven -To find out pwactices of cunnying heww -Why this shouwd b-be. I-I thewefowe vouch again -T-That with some mixtuwes powewfuw o'ew the b-bwood, -Ow with some dwam *giggles shyly* conjuwed to *screams* this effect, -He wwought upon hew. -DUKE. To vouch this is nyo p-pwoof, -Without mowe cewtain and mowe ovewt test -Than these thin habits and *cuddles you* poow wikewihoods -Of modewn seeming do pwefew against him. -FIWST SENyATOW. But, *teleports behind you* Othewwo, :33 speak. -Did you by indiwect a-and fowced *hugs tightly* couwses -Subdue and poison this y-young maid's affections? -Ow came i-it by wequest, and such faiw question -As souw t-to souw affowdeth? -OTHEWWO. >w< I do *hugs tightly* beseech you, -S-Send fow the wady to the Sagittawy, -And w-wet hew *pokes you* speak of me befowe hew fathew. -If you uWu do find me fouw in h-hew >_< wepowt, -The twust, the office I do howd *hugs tightly* of you, -Nyot o-onwy take *looks away* away, but wet *hugs tightly* youw sentence -*blushes* Even faww upon m-my wife. -DUKE. F-Fetch Desdemonya hithew. -*cries* OTHEWWO. Ancient, c-conduct t-them; you best knyow the pwace. -Exeunt Iago and Attendants. -And tiww she come, as twuwy as to heaven ->_< I do confess the vices of my bwood, -:3 So justwy to youw gwave eaws I'ww pwesent -How I did thwive in this faiw wady's w-wove -And she in minye. -D-DUKE. Say it, Othewwo. -OTHEWWO. Hew f-fathew woved me, oft invited me, -Stiww question'd me the stowy of my w-wife -Fwom yeaw to yeaw, >_< the battwes, sieges, fowtunyes, -That I have pass'd. -I wan it thwough, even fwom my boyish days -T-To the vewy moment ^.^ that he xDD bade me teww it: -Whewein I spake of most disastwous chances, -Of >_< moving accidents by fwood and fiewd, -Of haiw-bweadth 'scapes *notices bulge* i' the imminyent *cries* deadwy bweach, -Of being taken by the insowent *looks at you* foe -And sowd to swavewy, of *pokes you* my wedemption thence -And powtance in my twavews' histowy; -Whewein of antwes >_> vast and d-desewts idwe, -W-Wough quawwies, wocks, a-and hiwws *looks at you* whose heads touch heaven, -It was my h-hint to speak- such was the pwocess- -And of the Cannyibaws that each othew eat, -The Anthwopophagi, and men whose ^-^ heads -Do gwow benyeath theiw s-shouwdews. This to h-heaw -Wouwd Desdemonya sewiouswy :3 incwinye; -B-But stiww the house affaiws wouwd dwaw hew thence, -Which ^w^ evew as she couwd ^-^ with haste d-dispatch, -She'wd come ^-^ again, and with a gweedy eaw -Devouw u-up my discouwse; which I obsewving, -T-Took once a pwiant houw, and found xDD good means -To dwaw fwom hew a pwayew of ;;w;; eawnyest heawt -That I wouwd aww my ^w^ piwgwimage diwate, -Wheweof OwO by pawcews she had something *moans* heawd, -But nyot intentivewy. I did consent, -A-And often did beguiwe hew o-of hew teaws -When I did speak of some distwessfuw s-stwoke -That my youth suffew'd. *leans over* My stowy being donye, -She g-gave me fow my pains a wowwd of sighs; -She ^-^ swowe, in faith, 'twas ^w^ stwange, 'twas passing stwange; -'Twas pitifuw, '-'twas wondwous *cries* pitifuw. -She wish'd she had nyot h-heawd *looks away* it, yet she *blushes* wish'd -That heaven had made ^w^ hew such a man; xDD she *teleports behind you* thank'd me, -And b-bade me, if I h-had a fwiend that woved hew, ->_> I shouwd but t-teach him how :33 to *sighs* teww my stowy, -*looks away* And that wouwd woo hew. U-Upon this h-hint I spake: -She *sighs* woved me fow the dangews I had p-pass'd, -And I woved hew *shuffles closer* that she did pity them. -This xDD onwy is the witchcwaft I have used. -Hewe *blushes* comes the wady; wet hew witnyess it. - -Entew Desdemonya, Iago, and Attendants. - -DUKE. I think this tawe wouwd win my daughtew too. -Good B-Bwabantio, -*looks away* Take up this mangwed mattew at *cries* the best: -Men do *twerks* theiw bwoken weapons wathew use -Than theiw bawe hands. -BWABANTIO. I pway you, heaw hew speak. -If she confess that she w-was hawf the *sweats* wooew, -D-Destwuction on m-my head, *sighs* if my bad bwame -Wight on the man! Come hithew, gentwe m-mistwess. -Do y-you pewceive in aww this nyobwe company -Whewe :3 most you owe obedience? -DESDEMONyA. My :33 nyobwe fathew, -I *blushes* do *moans* pewceive hewe a-a *looks away* divided xDD duty. -:33 To *leans over* you I am bound fow wife and education; -*cuddles you* My wife and education both do weawn me -How >_> to wespect you; you awe the ^w^ wowd of duty, -*looks away* I am hithewto youw daughtew. But OwO hewe's my husband, -And so much duty as my mothew show'd -T-To you, pwefewwing you befowe *pokes you* hew f-fathew, -S-So much I chawwenge that I >_> may pwofess -Due to the Moow, my wowd. -x3 BWABANTIO. God be with y-you! *shuffles closer* I have donye. -Pwease i-it y-youw Gwace, on to *shuffles closer* the state affaiws; -I had wathew to adopt :3 a chiwd than get it. -Come hithew, Moow. -I hewe do *screams* give thee that with aww my heawt -Which, but thou hast awweady, with aww OwO my *notices bulge* heawt -*sweats* I wouwd keep *blushes* fwom t-thee. Fow youw sake, jewew, -I am gwad at souw I-I have n-nyo othew chiwd; -Fow thy escape wouwd teach m-me tywanny, -To hang ^-^ cwogs *twerks* on *leans over* them. I-I have donye, my w-wowd. -D-DUKE. Wet *moans* me speak wike youwsewf, a-and way *cuddles you* a s-sentence -Which, as a gwise ow *twerks* step, may hewp these *moans* wovews -Into :33 youw favow. -When w-wemedies awe past, the gwiefs awe ended -B-By s-seeing the wowst, which wate on hopes depended. -To *leans over* mouwn a mischief that is past UwU and gonye -Is the nyext way *cries* to d-dwaw nyew mischief on. -What cannyot be pwesewved when F-Fowtunye :33 takes, -Patience h-hew injuwy *moans* a mockewy makes. -The wobb'd that smiwes steaws something *looks at you* fwom the thief; -He wobs himsewf that s-spends a bootwess g-gwief. -BWABANTIO. So wet *teleports behind you* the Tuwk of C-Cypwus us beguiwe; -We wose it *looks away* nyot so *leans over* wong a-as we can s-smiwe. -He *notices bulge* beaws the sentence *giggles shyly* weww, that nyothing beaws -But the fwee comfowt which fwom thence he heaws; -But he beaws both the sentence a-and the sowwow -That, *cuddles you* to pay gwief, m-must of poow patience bowwow. -T-These sentences, to sugaw ow to *pokes you* gaww, -uWu Being stwong on both sides, awe equivocaw. -But wowds awe *cuddles you* wowds; xDD I nyevew yet did heaw -That uWu the bwuised heawt was x3 piewced thwough the eaw. -*twerks* I humbwy beseech you, p-pwoceed to *twerks* the a-affaiws *pokes you* of state. -DUKE. *cries* The Tuwk *leans over* with a most mighty pwepawation :3 makes fow *teleports behind you* Cypwus. -Othewwo, the fowtitude of the pwace is best *sighs* knyown to you; and -though we have thewe a s-substitute of most *cuddles you* awwowed s-sufficiency, -yet opinyion, *cries* a soveweign mistwess of *notices bulge* effects, thwows a mowe OwO safew -voice o-on y-you. *looks away* You m-must thewefowe be *teleports behind you* content to >_< swubbew the gwoss -of youw nyew fowtunyes with this mowe stubbown uWu and b-boistewous -expedition. -*notices bulge* OTHEWWO. The t-tywant custom, most gwave senyatows, -Hath made *shuffles closer* the fwinty *screams* and steew couch of OwO waw -My thwice-dwiven bed *leans over* of down. *moans* I do agnyize -^.^ A nyatuwaw and p-pwompt a-awacwity -I find in hawdnyess and do undewtake -These p-pwesent waws against the Ottomites. -x3 Most humbwy thewefowe bending uWu to youw state, -I cwave fit disposition *hugs tightly* fow UwU my wife, -Due wefewence of p-pwace and exhibition, -W-With such accommodation >w< and besowt -*leans over* As *screams* wevews with hew bweeding. -DUKE. If you p-pwease, -B-Be't at hew fathew's. -BWABANTIO. I'ww nyot h-have it so. -OTHEWWO. Nyow I. -D-DESDEMONyA. Nyow *looks away* I. I wouwd nyot thewe *twerks* weside -To put my *looks away* fathew in impatient thoughts -By ^.^ being in his eye. M-Most g-gwacious Duke, -To my unfowding xDD wend youw pwospewous eaw, -*cuddles you* And wet me find a chawtew *leans over* in youw voice -To ^w^ assist m-my simpwenyess. -DUKE. What w-wouwd you, Desdemonya? -DESDEMONyA. That I did wove the Moow t-to wive *moans* with him, -M-My d-downwight viowence and s-stowm of fowtunyes -M-May twumpet to the wowwd. My heawt's >w< subdued -Even to the vewy quawity *notices bulge* of my wowd. -I saw x3 Othewwo's visage *notices bulge* in his mind, -And to OwO his ^-^ honyows and his vawiant pawts -D-Did I my x3 souw *cries* and fowtunyes consecwate. -So that, deaw *cuddles you* wowds, if I *pokes you* be weft b-behind, -A moth of peace, and he *hugs tightly* go *looks at you* to the waw, -The wites *screams* fow which I wove him awe beweft *screams* me, -And I :3 a h-heavy intewim shaww *moans* suppowt -By his deaw absence. Wet ^-^ me go with h-him. -OTHEWWO. Wet hew have youw voices. -V-Vouch with *blushes* me, h-heaven, *cries* I thewefowe beg it nyot -To pwease the pawate of my appetite, -Nyow *moans* to compwy with heat- *looks at you* the ^-^ young affects -In me *cuddles you* defunct- and p-pwopew *notices bulge* satisfaction; -But to be *giggles shyly* fwee and bounteous to hew mind. -And heaven defend *giggles shyly* youw good souws, that y-you think -I wiww y-youw *notices bulge* sewious *shuffles closer* and gweat businyess scant -Fow she is with me. Nyo, when w-wight-wing'd toys -Of feathew'd Cupid seew with wanton duwwnyess -My uWu specuwative and officed instwuments, -That my dispowts *hugs tightly* cowwupt and taint my businyess, -Wet housewives m-make *blushes* a skiwwet of my hewm, -UwU And aww indign and base *notices bulge* advewsities -Make head *shuffles closer* against my estimation! -DUKE. Be it :3 as you shaww pwivatewy detewminye, -E-Eithew fow hew stay ow going. The affaiw >_< cwies haste, -A-And *giggles shyly* speed must answew't: you must hence tonyight. -DESDEMONyA. Tonyight, my wowd? -DUKE. This nyight. -OTHEWWO. xDD With aww my heawt. -DUKE. At *shuffles closer* nyinye i' the mownying x3 hewe ^-^ we'ww meet again. -Othewwo, weave some officew behind, -A-And h-he shaww ouw commission bwing to you, -With s-such t-things xDD ewse of quawity a-and *looks away* wespect -As doth impowt you. -*shuffles closer* OTHEWWO. So pwease youw Gwace, my ancient; -A man he *giggles shyly* is o-of honyesty and twust. -To his conveyance I assign my wife, -W-With what ewse nyeedfuw youw *sweats* good *shuffles closer* Gwace shaww *pokes you* think -To b-be sent aftew me. -DUKE. Wet it be so. -Good nyight to evewyonye. [To B-Bwabantio.] And, nyobwe s-signyiow, -If viwtue nyo xDD dewighted b-beauty wack, -Youw son-in-waw is faw mowe faiw than bwack. -FIWST SENyATOW. Adieu, bwave Moow, use Desdemonya weww. -BWABANTIO. Wook to ^-^ hew, Moow, if thou h-hast eyes to see; -:3 She has deceived hew fathew, and may t-thee. -Exeunt Duke, *screams* Senyatows, *cuddles you* and Officews. -OTHEWWO. M-My wife u-upon *leans over* hew faith! Honyest Iago, -My Desdemonya UwU must I weave to thee. -I-I *giggles shyly* pwithee, wet thy wife a-attend on hew, -And bwing t-them aftew in the best advantage. -*leans over* Come, Desdemonya, I h-have but an houw -Of wove, of wowwdwy mattews and diwection, -T-To s-spend with thee. We *screams* must *sweats* obey the *sighs* time. -Exeunt *sighs* Othewwo and Desdemonya. -WODEWIGO. I-Iago! -IAGO. What say'st thou, nyobwe heawt? -WODEWIGO. UwU What wiww I do, thinkest thou? -IAGO. Why, go t-to bed and s-sweep. -W-WODEWIGO. I wiww i-incontinyentwy dwown mysewf. -IAGO. I-If thou dost, I ^w^ shaww nyevew w-wove thee a-aftew. -Why, t-thou siwwy gentweman! -WODEWIGO. It ^.^ is siwwinyess to w-wive when t-to w-wive is towment, and then -have we >w< a pwescwiption to die when death is ouw p-physician. -I-IAGO. O-O v-viwwainyous! I have wooked upon t-the wowwd fow fouw times -seven *notices bulge* yeaws, and s-since I couwd distinguish *leans over* betwixt a benyefit and -an injuwy, uWu I nyevew found man that k-knyew how to wove himsewf. E-Ewe I -wouwd *blushes* say >w< I wouwd dwown mysewf fow *pokes you* the *screams* wove o-of a-a guinyea hen, I -wouwd change my humanyity with a-a baboon. -WODEWIGO. What *sighs* shouwd I d-do? *notices bulge* I confess it is m-my shame to be so fond, -but i-it is nyot in *cuddles you* my viwtue to amend i-it. -IAGO. Viwtue? a fig! 'Tis in ouwsewves t-that we awe thus ow thus. -O-Ouw b-bodies awe g-gawdens, to the ^w^ which o-ouw wiwws awe gawdenyews; so -that if we ^-^ wiww p-pwant nyettwes ow sow wettuce, set *sighs* hyssop and weed -up thyme, suppwy it *moans* with onye gendew of hewbs ow *cries* distwact it with -many, eithew to have i-it stewiwe with idwenyess ow manyuwed with -industwy, *sweats* why, the powew and cowwigibwe *twerks* authowity of this *looks at you* wies i-in -ouw wiwws. If the *looks away* bawance of *sweats* ouw wives had nyot onye s-scawe of -w-weason to p-poise anyothew of sensuawity, the b-bwood and basenyess of ->w< ouw nyatuwes w-wouwd conduct us to most pwepostewous concwusions. -B-But we have weason to coow ouw waging motions, ouw cawnyaw stings, -ouw u-unbitted >_< wusts; wheweof I t-take this, that y-you caww wove, to -be a-a sect ow scion. -W-WODEWIGO. I-It *sweats* cannyot x3 be. -IAGO. It i-is mewewy a wust of the bwood and >_> a pewmission of the -:33 wiww. Come, *sweats* be a man! *notices bulge* Dwown thysewf? *teleports behind you* Dwown cats and bwind -^-^ puppies. I have pwofessed me thy *looks away* fwiend, and I confess *blushes* me knyit to -thy desewving with cabwes o-of pewduwabwe toughnyess; I couwd nyevew -bettew stead t-thee than *pokes you* nyow. ^-^ Put ;;w;; monyey in *giggles shyly* thy puwse; fowwow thou -the waws; d-defeat thy *moans* favow with an usuwped beawd. >_> I say, p-put -monyey in thy p-puwse. It cannyot b-be that Desdemonya shouwd wong -continyue hew wove to the *sweats* Moow- p-put monyey in thy puwse- nyow he *looks at you* his -to hew. It was a *sighs* viowent commencement, and thou shawt >_< see a-an -answewabwe sequestwation- put but monyey in thy *cries* puwse. ^w^ These Moows -*looks at you* awe changeabwe i-in theiw wiwws- f-fiww thy puwse *teleports behind you* with monyey. The -food that to him nyow is as wuscious as wocusts, shaww be to him -showtwy a-as acewb as the *moans* cowoquintida. She must change fow youth; -when she is sated with his *moans* body, *cuddles you* she wiww *screams* find the e-ewwow of *teleports behind you* hew -choice. She must have change, she must; thewefowe put monyey in -thy p-puwse. If thou *shuffles closer* wiwt nyeeds damn thysewf, do it a mowe dewicate -w-way than dwownying. Make aww the monyey thou canst. ;;w;; If sanctimony -and a f-fwaiw vow betwixt an ewwing bawbawian *leans over* and a-a supewsubtwe -Venyetian be nyot too hawd fow my wits and aww *moans* the *giggles shyly* twibe of heww, -thou shawt e-enjoy hew- thewefowe make monyey. A-A pox of *cuddles you* dwownying -thysewf! I-It i-is cwean out o-of the way. *screams* Seek thou wathew to be -hanged in compassing thy joy than to be dwownyed a-and g-go *blushes* without -hew. -WODEWIGO. Wiwt thou be fast to my hopes, *blushes* if I depend o-on the issue? -IAGO. Thou awt suwe of me- g-go, make monyey. I-I have towd thee often, -and I-I weteww thee again and again, I *pokes you* hate *looks at you* the Moow. My c-cause *screams* is -h-heawted; t-thinye hath nyo wess *notices bulge* weason. Wet :33 us be conjunctive in ouw -wevenge against him. If thou canst *screams* cuckowd him, thou dost *cries* thysewf -a pweasuwe, UwU me a spowt. T-Thewe awe many events in t-the womb of time -which wiww be dewivewed. Twavewse, go, pwovide t-thy m-monyey. We wiww -have mowe of this tomowwow. A-Adieu. -WODEWIGO. Whewe shaww we meet i-i' *sweats* the mownying? -xDD IAGO. At *looks away* my wodging. -WODEWIGO. I'ww be with thee betimes. -IAGO. Go to, faweweww. Do y-you heaw, Wodewigo? -WODEWIGO. What say ;;w;; you? -IAGO. Nyo mowe of dwownying, do you heaw? -WODEWIGO. OwO I a-am changed; I'ww go s-seww aww m-my wand. *leans over* Exit. -IAGO. Thus do I evew make my foow my puwse; -Fow I minye own gain'd knyowwedge shouwd *pokes you* pwofanye -If I wouwd time expend with such *hugs tightly* a snyipe -But fow *pokes you* my spowt and pwofit. I hate the Moow, -*looks away* And it is t-thought abwoad that 'twixt *sighs* my sheets -He has d-donye my office. I knyow *pokes you* nyot if't be :3 twue, -But I fow mewe >_> suspicion x3 in that kind -W-Wiww do as if fow s-suwety. He howds me weww, -*hugs tightly* The bettew shaww my uWu puwpose wowk on him. -C-Cassio's a pwopew man. Wet me see *giggles shyly* nyow- -To ^.^ get his pwace, uWu and to pwume up my wiww -In doubwe knyavewy- How, *leans over* how?- Wet's *blushes* see- -A-Aftew some time, to abuse Othewwo's eaw -That he is uWu too f-famiwiaw with his w-wife. -He hath a pewson a-and a-a smooth *cuddles you* dispose -To b-be suspected- fwamed to make w-women fawse. -*looks at you* The M-Moow is of ^-^ a *cries* fwee and *cuddles you* open nyatuwe, -That thinks uWu men honyest that but *screams* seem to be so, -And w-wiww as tendewwy be w-wed by the nyose -As *notices bulge* asses awe. -I have't. I-It is e-engendew'd. Heww and nyight -Must *shuffles closer* bwing this monstwous biwth to the *hugs tightly* wowwd's ^-^ wight. -x3 Exit. - - - - -<> - - - -A-ACT II. SCENyE I-I. -;;w;; A seapowt in Cypwus. *giggles shyly* An open pwace nyeaw the quay. - -Entew Montanyo and *shuffles closer* two Gentwemen. - -MONTANyO. W-What *notices bulge* fwom the >_> cape can you discewn at sea? -FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. Nyothing at aww. It is a-a high-wwought fwood; -I cannyot, 'twixt the heaven and the >_< main, -Descwy a saiw. -MONTANyO. Methinks the wind *cuddles you* hath spoke awoud at *screams* wand; -A f-fuwwew bwast nye'ew *teleports behind you* shook *giggles shyly* ouw battwements. -*looks away* If it *pokes you* hath wuffian'd so u-upon *cries* the sea, -What wibs :3 of oak, *notices bulge* when mountains m-mewt on them, -Can howd the mowtise? What shaww we heaw of *giggles shyly* this? -SECOND G-GENTWEMAN. A-A segwegation o-of t-the Tuwkish fweet. -Fow do but stand upon OwO the f-foaming showe, -The chidden b-biwwow seems to pewt t-the cwouds; -*pokes you* The w-wind-shaked suwge, ^-^ with high and monstwous *blushes* manye, -*moans* Seems to cast watew on the *sweats* buwnying xDD beaw, -And q-quench the guawds of the evew-fixed powe. -I UwU nyevew did wike mowestation view -xDD On the enchafed fwood. -MONTANyO. If that the Tuwkish f-fweet -B-Be nyot enshewtew'd and embay'd, they awe dwown'd; -It is impossibwe to beaw it *notices bulge* out. - -Entew a thiwd Gentweman. - -THIWD GENTWEMAN. N-Nyews, wads! O-Ouw waws a-awe donye. -T-The *teleports behind you* despewate tempest hath so bang'd *looks at you* the *leans over* Tuwks, -That theiw designment hawts. A nyobwe ship of Venyice -Hath seen *moans* a gwievous wweck and suffewance -On most pawt o-of theiw fweet. -MONTANyO. H-How? Is this twue? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. The ship is hewe put in, -A Vewonyesa. :33 Michaew *cries* Cassio, -Wieutenyant *teleports behind you* to the w-wawwike Moow, Othewwo, -Is come *leans over* on s-showe; the Moow himsewf at s-sea, -And i-is in fuww commission hewe fow Cypwus. -MONTANyO. I x3 am *looks away* gwad on't; 'tis a wowthy govewnyow. -*sighs* THIWD GENTWEMAN. But >w< this same Cassio, though he speak of comfowt -Touching the Tuwkish *cries* woss, yet h-he w-wooks sadwy -And pways OwO the Moow be safe; fow *sighs* they wewe pawted -With fouw and viowent tempest. -MONTANyO. Pway heavens he be, -Fow I have x3 sewved h-him, and ^.^ the *twerks* man commands -Wike a fuww sowdiew. Wet's to *leans over* the seaside, h-ho! -As weww t-to see the vessew that's come in -As to thwow out ouw eyes f-fow bwave O-Othewwo, -Even tiww >w< we make t-the main a-and the aewiaw bwue -A-An indistinct wegawd. -^w^ THIWD GENTWEMAN. Come, wet's do so, -Fow *sweats* evewy minyute i-is e-expectancy -Of uWu mowe awwivance. - -Entew Cassio. - -CASSIO. Thanks, you *sweats* the vawiant o-of *teleports behind you* this wawwike uWu iswe, -That so appwove the Moow! O, wet t-the *shuffles closer* heavens -Give h-him defense against the ewements, -F-Fow I have wost him *leans over* on a dangewous sea. -MONTANyO. *looks away* I s-she weww shipp'd? -CASSIO. His bawk is stoutwy timbew'd, and his *screams* piwot -Of vewy OwO expewt and appwoved awwowance; -Thewefowe m-my hopes, nyot suwfeited to death, -S-Stand i-in bowd cuwe. -A cwy within, :3 "A saiw, a saiw, a saiw!" - -Entew a f-fouwth Gentweman. - -What nyoise? -FOUWTH GENTWEMAN. The town :33 is >_< empty; on *twerks* the bwow o' the *shuffles closer* sea -S-Stand w-wanks of peopwe, and t-they cwy, "A saiw!" -CASSIO. My hopes do *twerks* shape h-him fow the govewnyow. -Guns *pokes you* heawd. -*twerks* SECOND GENTWEMAN. They do d-dischawge theiw *cries* shot of *blushes* couwtesy- -Ouw fwiends at w-weast. -CASSIO. I pway you, >_> siw, go fowth, -A-And give us twuth who 'tis that *notices bulge* is awwived. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. I shaww. Exit. -*teleports behind you* MONTANyO. But, good w-wieutenyant, i-is youw genyewaw wived? -CASSIO. Most fowtunyatewy: *shuffles closer* he *moans* hath achieved a maid ->_< That pawagons *twerks* descwiption and wiwd f-fame, -Onye that excews the *sighs* quiwks *moans* of bwazonying ;;w;; pens, -*looks at you* And i-in the *cuddles you* essentiaw vestuwe o-of cweation -Does tiwe the ingenyew. - -We-entew s-second *teleports behind you* Gentweman. - -How n-nyow! who has put in? -SECOND *teleports behind you* GENTWEMAN. 'Tis onye Iago, *looks at you* ancient to t-the genyewaw. -CASSIO. He has had most >_< favowabwe a-and happy speed: -Tempests themsewves, high seas, and howwing winds, -The guttew'd wocks, ^-^ and congwegated sands, -T-Twaitows ^-^ ensteep'd to *screams* cwog the guiwtwess keew, -As having sense of beauty, do *twerks* omit -Theiw m-mowtaw nyatuwes, wetting go safewy by -The divinye Desdemonya. -MONTANyO. What is she? -CASSIO. *moans* She *giggles shyly* that I *moans* spake of, ouw gweat captain's xDD captain, -Weft in the c-conduct *looks at you* of the bowd Iago, -W-Whose footing hewe anticipates ouw thoughts -A-A se'nnyight's speed. Gweat UwU Jove, O-Othewwo guawd, -And sweww ;;w;; his saiw with thinye own powewfuw bweath, -That he ^.^ may bwess this bay with h-his t-taww ship, -Make wove's quick p-pants in Desdemonya's awms, -Give wenyew'd f-fiwe to ouw extincted spiwits, -:33 And *twerks* bwing aww Cypwus comfowt. - -E-Entew Desdemonya, Emiwia Iago, Wodewigo, and Attendants. - -*pokes you* O, behowd, -xDD The wiches of the s-ship >_< is come o-on showe! -Ye men of Cypwus, w-wet hew have youw ;;w;; knyees. -Haww to thee, wady! And the gwace of heaven, -Befowe, behind thee, and on evewy hand, -*twerks* Enwheew thee wound! -DESDEMONyA. I *looks away* thank you, vawiant Cassio. -What tidings can *screams* you teww m-me of my w-wowd? -CASSIO. He is nyot yet awwived, nyow knyow I aught -But that he's weww and wiww be *screams* showtwy hewe. -DESDEMONyA. O, but *looks away* I *pokes you* feaw- How *notices bulge* wost you company? -CASSIO. *looks away* The x3 gweat c-contention *cries* of the sea and skies -P-Pawted o-ouw ;;w;; fewwowship- But, hawk! *cries* a saiw. -A cwy within, "A saiw, a saiw!" Guns heawd. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. They *pokes you* give theiw gweeting *cries* to the citadew; -This wikewise is a fwiend. -CASSIO. See fow *hugs tightly* the nyews. -Exit Gentweman. -Good ancient, y-you ^w^ awe wewcome. [To Emiwia.] Wewcome, mistwess. -*leans over* Wet it nyot gaww youw patience, good xDD Iago, -That I extend *leans over* my uWu mannyews; 'tis my bweeding -T-That *giggles shyly* gives me t-this bowd show uWu of couwtesy. Kisses h-hew. -*hugs tightly* IAGO. *giggles shyly* Siw, :33 wouwd *looks away* she *cries* give *pokes you* you so much of xDD hew wips -As o-of hew *hugs tightly* tongue she oft :33 bestows on me, -Y-You'wd *notices bulge* have :3 enyough. -DESDEMONyA. Awas, she *cuddles you* has nyo speech. -IAGO. In faith, *screams* too much; -I find it stiww UwU when I have wist to sweep. -Mawwy, befowe youw w-wadyship *moans* I gwant, -She uWu puts hew tongue a *pokes you* wittwe i-in hew h-heawt -:3 And chides with thinking. -:3 EMIWIA. You have wittwe c-cause t-to xDD say so. -I-IAGO. Come on, come on. You awe pictuwes o-out of doows, -Bewws in *cuddles you* youw pawwows, wiwdcats i-in youw kitchens, -S-Saints in youw injuwies, deviws being offended, -xDD Pwayews in youw housewifewy, and *giggles shyly* housewives in ^w^ youw beds. -DESDEMONyA. O, fie upon thee, swandewew! -IAGO. Nyay, it ^w^ is twue, ow ewse I am a Tuwk: -You wise *cuddles you* to pway, and go to bed to wowk. -EMIWIA. You shaww nyot wwite my pwaise. -IAGO. Nyo, wet me nyot. -DESDEMONyA. What :33 wouwdst thou w-wwite o-of me, if thou shouwdst -p-pwaise me? -IAGO. O-O gentwe w-wady, do nyot *moans* put me to't, -Fow I *giggles shyly* am nyothing if nyot cwiticaw. -DESDEMONyA. ^w^ Come on, assay- T-Thewe's onye gonye to t-the hawbow? -I-IAGO. Ay, madam. -DESDEMONyA. I *notices bulge* am nyot m-mewwy, but I do beguiwe -The thing I-I am by seeming othewwise. -Come, *cries* how w-wouwdst thou pwaise me? -*sweats* IAGO. I am about it, b-but indeed *pokes you* my invention -C-Comes fwom my p-pate as biwdwime d-does f-fwom >_< fwieze; -*notices bulge* It pwucks *looks at you* out bwains and a-aww. But my Muse wabows, -And thus she is dewivew'd. -If she be faiw and wise, *sweats* faiwnyess and wit, -The onye's fow u-use, t-the othew useth it. -*leans over* DESDEMONyA. Weww pwaised! H-How if *cries* she be bwack and witty? -*looks at you* IAGO. If s-she b-be bwack, and theweto have a wit, -She'ww find a white that shaww h-hew bwacknyess fit. -uWu DESDEMONyA. W-Wowse and w-wowse. -EMIWIA. How if faiw and foowish? -IAGO. She n-nyevew y-yet was foowish that w-was faiw, -^-^ Fow *cuddles you* even hew x3 fowwy hewp'd *moans* hew to an heiw. -DESDEMONyA. These awe owd fond pawadoxes to make foows waugh i' the -awehouse. >w< What misewabwe pwaise hast thou fow hew that's fouw and -foowish? -IAGO. Thewe's nyonye s-so fouw and foowish theweunto, -^-^ But :3 does fouw pwanks *twerks* which faiw and wise onyes do. -DESDEMONyA. O heavy ;;w;; ignyowance! Thou p-pwaisest >_> the wowst best. But what -pwaise couwdst t-thou bestow on a desewving woman indeed, onye that -*sighs* in t-the authowity of h-hew mewit did ;;w;; justwy put on the x3 vouch of vewy -mawice itsewf? -IAGO. She that was e-evew faiw and nyevew pwoud, -Had *sighs* tongue at ^-^ wiww and yet was nyevew w-woud, -N-Nyevew wack'd *looks at you* gowd and yet went n-nyevew gay, -Fwed fwom hew wish and yet said, "Nyow I may"; -She *pokes you* that, being angew'd, hew wevenge *looks away* being *shuffles closer* nyigh, -Bade hew wwong stay *looks at you* and hew dispweasuwe *cuddles you* fwy; -She that *twerks* in wisdom nyevew was so fwaiw -T-To change the cod's head fow xDD the sawmon's taiw; -*sweats* She that couwd think and nye'ew >_> discwose hew mind, -See suitows *notices bulge* fowwowing a-and nyot wook b-behind; -She was *blushes* a wight, i-if evew such wight *notices bulge* wewe- ->w< DESDEMONyA. To do what? -IAGO. *giggles shyly* To suckwe foows and chwonyicwe s-smaww beew. -DESDEMONyA. O most wame and impotent concwusion! Do nyot weawn o-of him, -Emiwia, though he be thy husband. How say you, Cassio? Is *leans over* he nyot -a most pwofanye and wibewaw counsewow? -*moans* CASSIO. He *giggles shyly* speaks home, m-madam. Y-You *looks at you* may w-wewish him mowe in the -sowdiew than in the schowaw. -IAGO. [Aside.] He takes hew by the pawm; ay, *teleports behind you* weww x3 said, whispew. -With as wittwe a ;;w;; web as this wiww I :3 ensnyawe as gweat a fwy a-as -*cries* Cassio. Ay, smiwe upon :33 hew, do; I w-wiww gyve thee *giggles shyly* in t-thinye *sighs* own -couwtship. *shuffles closer* You ^w^ say twue; 'tis so, indeed. *blushes* If *giggles shyly* such *pokes you* twicks as these -stwip *cuddles you* you out ^w^ of youw wieutenyantwy, it had been bettew ^.^ you had -nyot :3 kissed youw thwee fingews so oft, which nyow again you awe -most apt to pway >_> the *sighs* siw in. Vewy good. Weww x3 kissed! >_< an excewwent -c-couwtesy! 'tis so, indeed. *hugs tightly* Yet again youw f-fingews to youw wips? -Wouwd they wewe cwystew-pipes fow youw ^-^ sake! [Twumpet within.] -The M-Moow! I ^w^ knyow his twumpet. -CASSIO. >_< 'Tis twuwy so. -D-DESDEMONyA. W-Wet's meet him and weceive *leans over* him. -C-CASSIO. Wo, w-whewe he comes! - -E-Entew Othewwo and Attendants. - -*notices bulge* OTHEWWO. O my faiw wawwiow! -DESDEMONyA. My deaw Othewwo! -:3 OTHEWWO. It gives me wondew gweat as my content -To s-see you hewe befowe me. O my *notices bulge* souw's joy! -If aftew *notices bulge* evewy tempest come such cawms, -May UwU the winds bwow tiww they *leans over* have waken'd death! -And *teleports behind you* wet *twerks* the wabowing bawk cwimb *moans* hiwws of seas -xDD Owympus-high, and duck *sweats* again as wow -:3 As heww's fwom heaven! If it wewe nyow to die, -'Twewe n-nyow to *teleports behind you* be most happy; fow *looks away* I feaw -My souw hath hew content so absowute -That nyot anyothew comfowt wike to this -S-Succeeds in unknyown fate. -DESDEMONyA. T-The heavens fowbid -But x3 that ouw woves and comfowts *shuffles closer* shouwd i-incwease, -*twerks* Even as x3 ouw days do gwow! -OTHEWWO. *cries* Amen to that, *screams* sweet powews! -I cannyot speak enyough >_< of this content; -It OwO stops me hewe; it is too much of joy. -And OwO this, and this, the *twerks* gweatest discowds be *hugs tightly* Kisses hew. -That e'ew ouw heawts shaww make! -IAGO. [Aside.] O, you awe weww tunyed nyow! -But I'ww set down the pegs that make this music, -As honyest as I am. -OTHEWWO. Come, wet us to the castwe. -Nyews, fwiends: ouw w-waws awe donye, t-the Tuwks awe dwown'd. -How does my *hugs tightly* owd a-acquaintance of this iswe? -Honyey, you shaww be weww desiwed i-in Cypwus; -I have f-found gweat wove amongst >w< them. O my sweet, -I pwattwe out of fashion, and I dote -In minye own comfowts. I pwithee, *looks away* good Iago, -Go *moans* to *shuffles closer* the bay and disembawk my coffews. -Bwing thou the mastew to the citadew; -He is a good *hugs tightly* onye, and his wowthinyess -Does chawwenge *giggles shyly* much wespect. Come, Desdemonya, -Once *pokes you* mowe weww met at *notices bulge* Cypwus. -*looks at you* Exeunt a-aww :3 but Iago and Wodewigo. -I-IAGO. Do thou m-meet me pwesentwy at the hawbow. Come *blushes* hithew. If t-thou -be'st vawiant- as they say base men being in wove h-have then a-a -nyobiwity ^w^ in t-theiw n-nyatuwes mowe than is *moans* nyative to them- wist me. -The w-wieutenyant tonyight watches on the c-couwt *twerks* of g-guawd. ^w^ Fiwst, *looks at you* I -*cuddles you* must teww thee this: Desdemonya is diwectwy in wove with him. -WODEWIGO. With *looks away* him? W-Why, 'tis nyot possibwe. -*shuffles closer* IAGO. Way thy fingew ^-^ thus, and wet thy souw be instwucted. *looks away* Mawk me -w-with what viowence s-she fiwst woved the M-Moow, *blushes* but *notices bulge* fow bwagging and -tewwing hew *leans over* fantasticaw wies. *blushes* And wiww she wove him s-stiww fow -pwating? Wet nyot thy discweet heawt think *giggles shyly* it. Hew eye m-must be -fed; and what dewight shaww ^.^ she have to wook on the deviw? When -the ^w^ bwood is m-made duww uWu with the act o-of s-spowt, thewe s-shouwd be, -again to infwame i-it and *blushes* to give s-satiety a fwesh appetite, -wovewinyess in favow, sympathy in yeaws, mannyews, and beauties- -aww which the Moow *pokes you* is defective i-in. Nyow, *hugs tightly* fow want of these -wequiwed convenyiences, hew dewicate tendewnyess w-wiww find itsewf -abused, *twerks* begin to *looks at you* heave the gowge, d-diswewish and a-abhow *shuffles closer* the Moow; -vewy nyatuwe wiww instwuct h-hew in it and compew >w< hew to some second -choice. Nyow siw, this gwanted- as it is a m-most pwegnyant and -u-unfowced p-position- who stands so *looks at you* eminyentwy in the degwee of this -*leans over* fowtunye *sighs* as Cassio does? A knyave vewy vowubwe; nyo fuwthew -conscionyabwe than in putting on the mewe fowm of civiw and humanye -seeming, *cuddles you* fow the bettew compass o-of his *cries* sawt and most *screams* hidden woose -affection? Why, nyonye, why, *notices bulge* nyonye- a swippew *looks away* and subtwe knyave, a -findew out of o-occasions, that has an eye can stamp and -countewfeit advantages, though t-twue advantage nyevew pwesent -itsewf- OwO a deviwish knyave! B-Besides, the *pokes you* knyave is handsome, uWu young, -and hath aww those wequisites in *screams* him that fowwy *screams* and gween minds -wook aftew- a pestiwent compwete knyave, and the w-woman hath found -him awweady. -WODEWIGO. I cannyot bewieve ^.^ that in h-hew; she's fuww o-of most bwest -condition. -IAGO. Bwest f-fig's-end! The winye she dwinks is made of gwapes. I-If -she *giggles shyly* had been bwest, *screams* she wouwd nyevew have woved the Moow. *screams* Bwest -pudding! Didst thou *screams* nyot see hew paddwe with the pawm o-of his hand? ->_> Didst n-nyot ^.^ mawk that? -WODEWIGO. Yes, that I did; but *sighs* that was but couwtesy. -I-IAGO. Wechewy, by this *hugs tightly* hand; an index and o-obscuwe pwowogue to the -histowy of w-wust and fouw thoughts. They met so nyeaw with theiw -wips t-that theiw bweaths *shuffles closer* embwaced togethew. *notices bulge* Viwwainyous thoughts, -Wodewigo! When these mutuawities so m-mawshaw the way, hawd at hand -comes the mastew *screams* and main *cuddles you* exewcise, the uWu incowpowate concwusion. -Pish! But, siw, OwO be y-you wuwed by me. I have bwought y-you fwom -Venyice. W-Watch you tonyight; f-fow *cries* the command, ^w^ I'ww way't upon you. -Cassio knyows you nyot. I'ww nyot b-be faw *teleports behind you* fwom *shuffles closer* you. Do you ^w^ find some -occasion to angew C-Cassio, eithew b-by speaking too w-woud, ow -tainting *hugs tightly* his discipwinye, ow fwom what othew couwse you pwease, -which xDD the time shaww mowe favowabwy minyistew. -*cuddles you* WODEWIGO. Weww. -IAGO. Siw, he is wash and v-vewy sudden i-in chowew, a-and hapwy may -stwike at you. Pwovoke him, that he *sighs* may; fow even out of that -wiww I cause these of Cypwus *twerks* to mutiny, whose q-quawification shaww -come into nyo twue taste *hugs tightly* again but by uWu the dispwanting *looks at you* of Cassio. -S-So *blushes* shaww you have a showtew jouwnyey to youw desiwes *cries* by the m-means -I shaww *sweats* then have *leans over* to uWu pwefew them, a-and :3 the impediment most -pwofitabwy wemoved, without the w-which t-thewe w-wewe nyo expectation -o-of ouw pwospewity. -WODEWIGO. I wiww do this, if I can *blushes* bwing it to *giggles shyly* any oppowtunyity. -IAGO. I wawwant thee. Meet me by and by at the citadew. I must -fetch his nyecessawies ashowe. Faweweww. -WODEWIGO. Adieu. E-Exit. -IAGO. *notices bulge* That Cassio w-woves *screams* hew, I-I do weww b-bewieve it; -T-That s-she woves him, 'tis apt and of gweat cwedit. -:33 The Moow, howbeit that I-I enduwe him *teleports behind you* nyot, -Is of a constant, woving, nyobwe nyatuwe, -And I *cuddles you* dawe think he'ww pwove to >_> Desdemonya -A most deaw *sighs* husband. Nyow, I do >w< wove *cuddles you* hew too, -Nyot out of absowute wust, t-though pewadventuwe -I stand accountant f-fow as *hugs tightly* gweat a sin, -But pawtwy wed t-to diet my w-wevenge, -F-Fow that I ^-^ do suspect the wusty Moow -Hath weap'd into my seat; the thought wheweof -Doth wike a p-poisonyous minyewaw *blushes* gnyaw my inwawds, -*looks away* And nyothing can ow shaww content my souw -Tiww I am even'd with him, wife fow wife. -O-Ow :33 faiwing so, yet *teleports behind you* that I put *screams* the Moow -At *looks at you* weast into a j-jeawousy so stwong -That judgement cannyot cuwe. Which thing x3 to d-do, -If this poow twash of Venyice, *moans* whom I twace -Fow his q-quick hunting, stand the putting on, -I'ww have ouw Michaew *leans over* Cassio on the hip, -A-Abuse him t-to the Moow in the w-wank *blushes* gawb -(Fow I feaw Cassio with my nyightcap too), -Make t-the Moow thank m-me, wove m-me, >w< and wewawd me -Fow making him egwegiouswy an ass -And pwacticing upon his peace and quiet -Even *giggles shyly* to madnyess. '-'Tis OwO hewe, but yet c-confused: -Knyavewy's pwain OwO face is ;;w;; nyevew seen tiww used. Exit. - - - - -SCENyE II. -A stweet. - -Entew a-a Hewawd *notices bulge* with a pwocwamation; peopwe fowwowing. - -*giggles shyly* HEWAWD. It is Othewwo's pweasuwe, ouw nyobwe and v-vawiant genyewaw, -that upon c-cewtain tidings nyow *moans* awwived, impowting the *cries* mewe -pewdition of the Tuwkish fweet, evewy man put himsewf into -twiumph; some t-to ^-^ dance, s-some to make bonfiwes, each man to *cuddles you* what -spowt ;;w;; and wevews his x3 addiction *looks away* weads him; *moans* fow besides these -benyeficiaw nyews, i-it is t-the cewebwation of his nyuptiaw. So much -OwO was his pweasuwe shouwd OwO be pwocwaimed. Aww o-offices awe x3 open, a-and -thewe is fuww wibewty of feasting *looks away* fwom this pwesent houw of f-five -*shuffles closer* tiww the *looks at you* beww have towd eweven. Heaven bwess the iswe of Cypwus -and UwU ouw *leans over* nyobwe genyewaw Othewwo! Exeunt. - - - - -S-SCENyE III. -A *teleports behind you* haww *blushes* in the castwe. - -Entew Othewwo, Desdemonya, Cassio, a-and Attendants. - -*looks at you* OTHEWWO. Good Michaew, w-wook you to t-the g-guawd tonyight. -Wet's teach ouwsewves that *hugs tightly* honyowabwe stop, -Nyot to *moans* outspowt discwetion. -CASSIO. xDD Iago hath diwection what t-to >_> do; -But nyotwithstanding w-with my pewsonyaw eye -Wiww I *cuddles you* wook to't. -OTHEWWO. Iago is most honyest. -*giggles shyly* Michaew, good nyight. Tomowwow with youw eawwiest -Wet me :3 have speech with you. *twerks* Come, my d-deaw wove, -The puwchase made, the fwuits a-awe t-to ensue; -That pwofit's yet to come 'tween me >w< and you. -Good nyight. -Exeunt Othewwo, Desdemonya, >_< and A-Attendants. - -E-Entew Iago. - -CASSIO. Wewcome, Iago; we must to the watch. -IAGO. Nyot this houw, *moans* wieutenyant; 'tis nyot yet ten o' *cuddles you* the cwock. Ouw -genyewaw *hugs tightly* cast us thus eawwy f-fow the wove of his D-Desdemonya; who wet -us nyot thewefowe *looks at you* bwame. He :3 hath nyot yet made wanton the nyight -with hew, and she i-is spowt fow Jove. -CASSIO. She's a most exquisite wady. -IAGO. And, I'ww w-wawwant hew, fuww of game. -CASSIO. Indeed she's a most fwesh and dewicate cweatuwe. -*looks away* IAGO. What a-an eye she has! Methinks :3 it sounds a-a *giggles shyly* pawwey t-to -pwovocation. -CASSIO. An inviting eye; and yet methinks *hugs tightly* wight modest. -IAGO. And when *sighs* she speaks, is it nyot an awawum t-to wove? -CASSIO. She is i-indeed pewfection. -I-IAGO. W-Weww, happinyess to theiw sheets! Come, wieutenyant, I h-have a -stope of winye, *sweats* and hewe *blushes* without awe a bwace of Cypwus gawwants -that wouwd fain have a-a measuwe to the heawth of bwack Othewwo. -CASSIO. Nyot tonyight, good Iago. I have vewy poow and unhappy b-bwains -f-fow d-dwinking. I couwd weww ^w^ wish couwtesy wouwd invent UwU some othew -custom of entewtainment. -IAGO. O-O, they awe ouw fwiends! *notices bulge* But onye cup; I'ww dwink fow you. -CASSIO. x3 I have dwunk but o-onye cup t-tonyight, :3 and *pokes you* that was cwaftiwy -*moans* quawified too, a-and behowd what i-innyovation it makes hewe. I >_< am -unfowtunyate in the infiwmity, and dawe nyot uWu task my *shuffles closer* weaknyess with -any m-mowe. -IAGO. >w< What, man! 'Tis a-a nyight of wevews, the g-gawwants desiwe it. -CASSIO. W-Whewe *sweats* awe t-they? -I-IAGO. Hewe at :33 the *looks away* doow; I pway *twerks* you, c-caww t-them in. -CASSIO. I-I'ww do't, but it diswikes *looks at you* me. Exit. -IAGO. I-If I >_< can fasten but >w< onye cup upon *teleports behind you* him, -With that which >_< he h-hath dwunk t-tonyight awweady, -He'ww be as x3 fuww *giggles shyly* of uWu quawwew and offense ->_> As my young *blushes* mistwess' dog. Nyow my sick foow Wodewigo, -Whom wove hath *moans* tuwn'd awmost *teleports behind you* the wwong side out, -To Desdemonya hath tonyight cawoused -P-Potations pottwe-deep; and h-he's to watch. -Thwee w-wads of Cypwus, nyobwe swewwing s-spiwits, -That howd theiw honyows in a wawy distance, -The vewy ewements of t-this *cuddles you* wawwike iswe, -Have I tonyight fwustew'd w-with fwowing cups, -*screams* And they watch too. N-Nyow, 'mongst this fwock of dwunkawds, -Am I-I to put *sweats* ouw Cassio in some >_> action -That m-may offend t-the iswe. But hewe they come. -If consequence ;;w;; do but appwove my dweam, -My *pokes you* boat s-saiws fweewy, *giggles shyly* both with wind and stweam. - -We-entew Cassio; with :3 him Montanyo and Gentwemen; -Sewvants fowwowing with winye. - -CASSIO. 'Fowe God, t-they have given me a *notices bulge* wouse awweady. -*shuffles closer* MONTANyO. Good faith, a *pokes you* wittwe onye; nyot past a p-pint, as I am a -sowdiew. -IAGO. Some winye, ho! - -[Sings.] "And wet me the canyakin :3 cwink, cwink; -And ^w^ wet me the canyakin *twerks* cwink. -A s-sowdiew's *teleports behind you* a man; -O, man's wife's but a s-span; -Why UwU then wet a sowdiew dwink." - -Some winye, boys! -CASSIO. 'Fowe God, an excewwent *sweats* song. -uWu IAGO. I weawnyed it *looks away* in Engwand, whewe indeed they awe most p-potent in -potting. Youw Danye, youw Gewman, and youw swag-bewwied Howwandew- -Dwink, ho!- awe nyothing to youw Engwish. -CASSIO. Is youw Engwishman so expewt in his dwinking? -IAGO. *notices bulge* Why, *hugs tightly* he dwinks you with faciwity *cuddles you* youw Danye :3 dead dwunk; he -sweats nyot *teleports behind you* to ovewthwow y-youw Awmain; he gives x3 youw Howwandew a -vomit ewe the n-nyext ^-^ pottwe c-can be fiwwed. -CASSIO. To the heawth of ouw genyewaw! -MONTANyO. I am fow it, *looks at you* wieutenyant, and I'ww d-do *looks at you* you justice. -IAGO. O sweet Engwand! - -[Sings.] *cuddles you* "King Stephen was and-a wowthy peew, -His bweeches cost him but a cwown; -He uWu hewd them s-sixpence aww too d-deaw, -With that h-he caww'd the taiwow *screams* wown. - -"He *giggles shyly* was a wight *giggles shyly* of high wenyown, -A-And thou awt but o-of wow degwee. -'Tis pwide that puwws x3 the countwy down; -Then take thinye auwd cwoak about thee." - -Some winye, ho! -CASSIO. W-Why, *hugs tightly* this is *teleports behind you* a mowe exquisite song than the othew. -IAGO. Wiww you heaw't a-again? -CASSIO. Nyo, fow I howd him to be unwowthy of his >_< pwace that does -those *cuddles you* things. Weww, G-God's above a-aww, a-and thewe b-be souws must be -saved, and thewe be souws must nyot be saved. -IAGO. It's twue, good w-wieutenyant. -CASSIO. Fow minye own pawt- *leans over* nyo offense to the genyewaw, nyow any man -o-of quawity- :3 I ^w^ hope *pokes you* to be saved. -*looks at you* IAGO. And :3 so ^w^ do *pokes you* I too, *hugs tightly* wieutenyant. -CASSIO. :3 Ay, but, by ;;w;; youw weave, >_< nyot befowe me; the wieutenyant is to -be saved befowe the ^w^ ancient. Wet's have nyo mowe of this; wet's to -ouw a-affaiws. God fowgive us ouw sins! Gentwemen, wet's wook to -ouw businyess. Do nyot think, gentwemen, I am dwunk: >w< this is my -ancient, this is my w-wight hand, and this is my weft. I am n-nyot -dwunk nyow; I can stand w-weww xDD enyough, *sighs* and I speak weww enyough. -AWW. Excewwent weww. -C-CASSIO. Why, vewy weww t-then; you must n-nyot think *teleports behind you* then that I am -dwunk. Exit. -MONTANyO. To the pwatfowm, mastews; come, wet's set the w-watch. -IAGO. You *twerks* see this f-fewwow that is gonye befowe; -H-He is a-a sowdiew fit to stand b-by Caesaw -uWu And give >_> diwection. And d-do but see his vice; -'Tis *sweats* to his viwtue a just equinyox, -The xDD onye as wong as the othew. 'Tis pity of him. -I feaw the twust Othewwo puts him in -On some o-odd time of h-his infiwmity -Wiww shake *hugs tightly* this iswand. -MONTANyO. But is he often thus? -*moans* IAGO. 'Tis evewmowe ^-^ the pwowogue to his sweep. -*sweats* He'ww w-watch the howowoge a doubwe set, -If d-dwink wock nyot his cwadwe. -MONTANyO. It wewe w-weww -x3 The genyewaw wewe put in m-mind of it. -P-Pewhaps he sees it n-nyot, ow h-his good nyatuwe -Pwizes the viwtue that appeaws in Cassio -And wooks nyot :33 on >w< his eviws. Is nyot this t-twue? - -Entew *sighs* Wodewigo. - -IAGO. [-[Aside to him.] How nyow, Wodewigo! -:33 I *looks away* pway you, UwU aftew the w-wieutenyant; go. *hugs tightly* Exit Wodewigo. -MONTANyO. A-And 'tis gweat ^-^ pity that t-the nyobwe ^.^ Moow -Shouwd hazawd such a pwace as his own >_> second -With onye of an ingwaft *giggles shyly* infiwmity. -It wewe an h-honyest action to say -So to the Moow. -IAGO. Nyot I-I, f-fow this faiw iswand. -I do w-wove ^.^ Cassio *screams* weww, and wouwd do *leans over* much -To cuwe him of this *cries* eviw- But, hawk! What nyoise? -A-A cwy within, "Hewp, *cries* hewp!" - -We-entew Cassio, dwiving in *looks away* Wodewigo. - ->w< CASSIO. '-'Zounds! Y-You wogue! *screams* You wascaw! -xDD MONTANyO. W-What's *notices bulge* the *looks away* mattew, wieutenyant? -CASSIO. A >_> knyave teach m-me my d-duty! But I'ww beat the knyave into a -twiggen bottwe. -W-WODEWIGO. *giggles shyly* Beat me! -*sighs* CASSIO. Dost thou p-pwate, wogue? Stwikes Wodewigo. -MONTANyO. Nyay, good >w< wieutenyant; I pway you, s-siw, *looks at you* howd youw >_> hand. -CASSIO. Wet me g-go, siw, ow I'ww knyock >w< you o'ew the mazzawd. -MONTANyO. Come, come, y-you'we d-dwunk. -CASSIO. Dwunk? They fight. -IAGO. [Aside to Wodewigo.] Away, I say; go out and cwy a mutiny. -Exit Wodewigo. -Nyay, :3 good wieutenyant! UwU God's wiww, g-gentwemen! ->_< Hewp, ho!- Wieutenyant- s-siw- Montanyo- siw- -Hewp, m-mastews!- H-Hewe's a goodwy watch indeed! -A-A beww wings. -*leans over* Who's t-that t-that *pokes you* wings the b-beww?- D-Diabwo, *blushes* ho! -T-The t-town wiww w-wise. God's wiww, wieutenyant, howd! -You OwO wiww be >_> shamed fowevew. - -We-entew Othewwo and Attendants. - -OTHEWWO. *shuffles closer* What is the mattew h-hewe? -MONTANyO. 'Zounds, I bweed stiww; I-I *hugs tightly* am huwt to the *sweats* death. -Faints. -OTHEWWO. Howd, fow youw wives! -IAGO. Howd, ho! Wieutenyant- siw- Montanyo- gentwemen- -Have you fowgot aww pwace of sense and duty? -Howd! the genyewaw speaks >_< to you! Howd, howd, fow shame! -OTHEWWO. Why, how nyow, ho! fwom whence *hugs tightly* awiseth *cuddles you* this? -Awe we tuwn'd Tuwks, and to ouwsewves do that -Which :33 heaven hath fowbid *sighs* the O-Ottomites? -Fow Chwistian shame, put by >_> this bawbawous bwaww. -He t-that s-stiws nyext to cawve fow his own wage -Howds his *notices bulge* souw wight; h-he dies upon ^.^ his m-motion. -Siwence that dweadfuw beww; it fwights the i-iswe -Fwom hew pwopwiety. W-What i-is the mattew, *hugs tightly* mastews? -Honyest Iago, t-that wook'st dead with gwieving, -Speak: who began this? On thy wove, I chawge thee. -I-IAGO. I :33 do nyot knyow. Fwiends aww but nyow, even nyow, -In quawtew, a-and in *looks at you* tewms *pokes you* wike bwide and gwoom -Devesting them *cries* fow bed; and then, but nyow -(As i-if some pwanyet had unwitted men), -Swowds out, a-and tiwting onye at xDD othew's bweast, -In ^-^ opposition bwoody. I-I cannyot speak -Any beginnying t-to this p-peevish odds; -And wouwd in action gwowious I had wost -T-Those wegs that bwought me to a p-pawt of *cuddles you* it! -OTHEWWO. How comes i-it, Michaew, you awe thus fowgot? -CASSIO. I *sighs* pway you, pawdon me; I *leans over* cannyot s-speak. -OTHEWWO. Wowthy Montanyo, you wewe wont be civiw; -T-The *cuddles you* gwavity and >_> stiwwnyess of youw youth -The ^-^ wowwd h-hath nyoted, and youw n-nyame is *pokes you* gweat -In mouths of w-wisest censuwe. W-What's t-the mattew, -That you *looks away* unwace :33 youw weputation thus, -And spend y-youw wich o-opinyion fow the n-nyame -Of a nyight-bwawwew? Give me answew t-to it. -MONTANyO. Wowthy >w< Othewwo, I am *sweats* huwt to dangew. -Y-Youw officew, Iago, c-can infowm you- -Whiwe I spawe speech, w-which s-something n-nyow *twerks* offends me- -Of aww that I do knyow. N-Nyow k-knyow I aught -*sighs* By me t-that's said ow donye amiss this nyight, -Unwess sewf-chawity be sometimes *shuffles closer* a vice, -And to defend ouwsewves i-it *moans* be a sin -When viowence *teleports behind you* assaiws us. -OTHEWWO. Nyow, by heaven, -My bwood b-begins my safew *pokes you* guides *twerks* to w-wuwe, -And passion, having :3 my >_> best judgement cowwied, -Assays to wead the way. If I once stiw, -Ow d-do but wift this awm, the best of you -Shaww sink in my webuke. Give me *screams* to x3 knyow -How this fouw wout began, who set ^.^ it *screams* on, -And he that is appwoved >_< in this offense, -Though he had twinn'd w-with me, ;;w;; both ;;w;; at uWu a biwth, -Shaww wose :33 me. What! in a town of *hugs tightly* waw, -Yet wiwd, the *giggles shyly* peopwe's heawts bwimfuw of f-feaw, -To manyage pwivate and domestic quawwew, -I-In nyight, and on the couwt and guawd of safety! -'Tis *screams* monstwous. Iago, who began't? -MONTANyO. If pawtiawwy affinyed, *screams* ow weagued in office, -*sighs* Thou *blushes* dost dewivew mowe ow wess than twuth, -Thou awt nyo *cries* sowdiew. -IAGO. Touch me :33 nyot so nyeaw: -I h-had wathew have this tongue c-cut fwom ^.^ my mouth -Than it shouwd do uWu offense to *sighs* Michaew Cassio; -Yet, *moans* I pewsuade *cries* mysewf, ^-^ to speak the twuth -Shaww UwU nyothing wwong him. Thus it is, genyewaw. -Montanyo and mysewf being in speech, -Thewe comes *cuddles you* a fewwow cwying out fow hewp, ->_< And Cassio fowwowing him with detewminyed *cuddles you* swowd, -To execute upon him. Siw, this gentweman -Steps in to Cassio and entweats his p-pause. -M-Mysewf the c-cwying *looks away* fewwow d-did puwsue, -W-West *blushes* by his *pokes you* cwamow- as it so feww out- -The town might f-faww i-in fwight. He, swift of foot, -Outwan my puwpose; and I wetuwn'd the wathew -F-Fow *moans* that I *looks away* heawd *sighs* the c-cwink and faww *pokes you* of s-swowds, -A-And Cassio h-high in oath, which tiww tonyight -I nye'ew might say befowe. When I-I c-came back- -Fow this was bwief- I ^.^ found them cwose togethew, -At bwow and thwust, *shuffles closer* even as again they wewe -When you *notices bulge* youwsewf did *teleports behind you* pawt *shuffles closer* them. -Mowe of this m-mattew cannyot I wepowt. -But men awe men; the best sometimes fowget. -Though Cassio did some *sighs* wittwe wwong to him, -As men in *twerks* wage *leans over* stwike those *pokes you* that wish them best, -Yet suwewy >w< Cassio, *sighs* I bewieve, weceived -Fwom him ^w^ that fwed some stwange indignyity, -Which patience couwd nyot pass. -OTHEWWO. I-I knyow, Iago, -Thy h-honyesty and wove *sweats* doth mince x3 this *giggles shyly* mattew, -Making it wight to Cassio. Cassio, I *giggles shyly* wove UwU thee, -*looks away* But nyevew mowe be officew of minye. - -We-entew Desdemonya, attended. - -Wook, i-if m-my gentwe x3 wove b-be ^.^ nyot w-waised up! -I'ww make thee an exampwe. -DESDEMONyA. What's the mattew? -*looks away* OTHEWWO. Aww's weww nyow, sweeting; come a-away to b-bed. -Siw, *moans* fow youw huwts, mysewf wiww be youw :3 suwgeon. -Wead him off. Exit *sighs* Montanyo, attended. -Iago, wook w-with cawe about the town, -And *cuddles you* siwence those whom this viwe bwaww distwacted. -Come, Desdemonya, 'tis the sowdiews' *sweats* wife. -To have theiw bawmy swumbews waked with stwife. -Exeunt aww but I-Iago and Cassio. -IAGO. What, a-awe you huwt, wieutenyant? -CASSIO. A-Ay, past aww suwgewy. -IAGO. *pokes you* Mawwy, heaven fowbid! -CASSIO. Weputation, weputation, UwU weputation! O, I h-have wost my -weputation! I have >_> wost the i-immowtaw p-pawt of *looks at you* mysewf, *notices bulge* and what -wemains is bestiaw. My weputation, Iago, my >_> weputation! -IAGO. *moans* As I am an *giggles shyly* honyest *cuddles you* man, I t-thought you had w-weceived *cries* some bodiwy -w-wound; thewe i-is mowe sense in that than i-in weputation. Weputation -is a-an idwe and most fawse imposition; oft got without mewit *hugs tightly* and -wost without desewving. You have wost nyo weputation at aww, -unwess you wepute youwsewf *screams* such a wosew. :33 What, man! thewe *leans over* awe -ways to *looks at you* wecovew *sighs* the genyewaw uWu again. Y-You awe but nyow cast in *screams* his -mood, a punyishment mowe in powicy than in mawice; even so as onye -wouwd b-beat his *sighs* offensewess *sighs* dog to affwight an impewious w-wion. Sue -to him again, and he's youws. -CASSIO. I wiww *teleports behind you* wathew sue to be d-despised than to deceive UwU so good a -c-commandew *giggles shyly* with so swight, so d-dwunken, and >w< so indiscweet an -officew. Dwunk? and speak pawwot? and squabbwe? s-swaggew? s-sweaw? -and discouwse fustian with onye's own shadow? O thou invisibwe -s-spiwit of winye, if thou hast n-nyo nyame ^.^ to b-be knyown by, wet *notices bulge* us c-caww -thee deviw! -IAGO. What w-was he that *looks at you* you fowwowed with youw :33 swowd? -What had he donye to you? -CASSIO. I-I knyow nyot. -;;w;; IAGO. Is't possibwe? -CASSIO. OwO I wemembew *twerks* a mass of t-things, but ^-^ nyothing distinctwy; a -quawwew, >_< but nyothing x3 whewefowe. O God, t-that men shouwd put an -enyemy in theiw mouths *cuddles you* to steaw *sighs* away theiw bwains! t-that we shouwd, -with >w< joy, pweasance, wevew, and appwause, twansfowm ouwsewves -into beasts! -UwU IAGO. Why, but you awe nyow *sighs* weww enyough. How came you *looks at you* thus -wecovewed? -CASSIO. It h-hath pweased the deviw dwunkennyess to g-give pwace to the -deviw ^-^ wwath: o-onye unpewfectnyess s-shows me anyothew, *shuffles closer* to make me -fwankwy despise mysewf. -I-IAGO. Come, ^-^ you awe too sevewe a-a mowawew. As the time, the pwace, -and the condition of this countwy stands, I couwd heawtiwy wish -this had nyot befawwen; but since i-it is a-as it is, mend it fow *teleports behind you* youw -own *shuffles closer* good. -^.^ CASSIO. I w-wiww ask him fow my *shuffles closer* pwace again; h-he *cuddles you* shaww *cuddles you* teww m-me I a-am a -dwunkawd! Had *sighs* I a-as many m-mouths as Hydwa, such an answew wouwd -stop OwO them aww. To be ;;w;; nyow *pokes you* a UwU sensibwe man, by and :33 by a foow, and -*giggles shyly* pwesentwy *blushes* a beast! O stwange! Evewy inyowdinyate cup is unbwest, -a-and the uWu ingwedient is a deviw. -IAGO. Come, come, good winye is a g-good famiwiaw cweatuwe, if i-it be -weww used. Excwaim nyo mowe against it. uWu And, good *sweats* wieutenyant, I -t-think y-you think *cries* I wove you. -CASSIO. I have weww appwoved it, siw. I dwunk! -IAGO. You ow any man wiving may be d-dwunk a-at some time, man. I'ww -teww you what you shaww do. Ouw genyewaw's wife is nyow the -genyewaw. I may say so in this wespect, fow that he hath devoted -and given up himsewf to the contempwation, m-mawk, ^w^ and *sweats* denyotement -of hew pawts and *teleports behind you* gwaces. Confess youwsewf f-fweewy to hew; -impowtunye hew hewp :3 to p-put you in y-youw pwace again. She is o-of so -fwee, so kind, *notices bulge* so apt, *giggles shyly* so b-bwessed a *moans* disposition, she howds it a -vice in hew *leans over* goodnyess *sighs* nyot *sweats* to do mowe than uWu she is wequested. This -b-bwoken j-joint between you and hew husband entweat hew to spwintew; -and, my fowtunyes against any w-way wowth nyaming, t-this c-cwack of youw -wove *screams* shaww gwow stwongew than it was befowe. -CASSIO. You advise me weww. -IAGO. ^-^ I pwotest, in the sincewity o-of wove a-and honyest kindnyess. -C-CASSIO. I think it fweewy; and betimes in the mownying I x3 wiww beseech -the viwtuous D-Desdemonya *sighs* to undewtake fow me. >_> I am despewate of my -fowtunyes if they check me h-hewe. -IAGO. You awe in the wight. G-Good nyight, *leans over* wieutenyant, I must to the -watch. -x3 CASSIO. Good >_< nyight, h-honyest Iago. Exit. -x3 IAGO. *looks at you* And w-what's he then that x3 says I p-pway the viwwain? -When this advice is fwee I give and honyest, -*cuddles you* Pwobaw to thinking, and indeed *shuffles closer* the *notices bulge* couwse -To win the Moow *screams* again? *cuddles you* Fow 'tis m-most easy -*looks at you* The incwinying Desdemonya to subdue -I-In any honyest suit. She's *looks at you* fwamed as fwuitfuw -As the fwee ewements. And then fow hew -T-To win the ^.^ Moow, wewe't x3 to wenyounce his baptism, -*screams* Aww seaws and symbows of ^-^ wedeemed sin, -*sighs* His souw is so *pokes you* enfettew'd t-to hew wove, -That she may make, unmake, do what she wist, -Even as hew appetite shaww pway the god -;;w;; With his weak function. How am I-I then a UwU viwwain -To c-counsew *sighs* Cassio *twerks* to this pawawwew couwse, -Diwectwy to his good? Divinyity of heww! -W-When deviws wiww the bwackest sins put :33 on, -They do suggest *twerks* at fiwst with heavenwy shows, -As I do nyow. Fow whiwes this *pokes you* honyest foow -P-Pwies Desdemonya to w-wepaiw his fowtunye, -And she fow him :3 pweads stwongwy to the Moow, -I'ww p-pouw t-this pestiwence i-into his eaw, -That she wepeaws *teleports behind you* him fow *pokes you* hew body's wust; -And by how *sighs* much she stwives to do him good, -She shaww undo hew cwedit *giggles shyly* with the Moow. -So wiww I t-tuwn ^w^ hew viwtue into p-pitch, -*twerks* And out of UwU hew own *blushes* goodnyess make t-the nyet -That shaww enmesh them a-aww. - -Entew Wodewigo. - -How nyow, Wodewigo! -WODEWIGO. I do >w< fowwow hewe in *screams* the chase, nyot *teleports behind you* wike a h-hound that -hunts, but onye that fiwws up the cwy. My monyey is awmost spent; I -have been tonyight e-exceedingwy weww cudgewed; and ^w^ I t-think the -*notices bulge* issue wiww be, I ^w^ shaww have so much expewience fow m-my xDD pains; :33 and -s-so, with nyo monyey at *sighs* aww *cuddles you* and a wittwe mowe wit, wetuwn *cries* again to -Venyice. -IAGO. H-How p-poow awe they that have n-nyot patience! -What wound did evew heaw but by degwees? -Thou k-knyow'st we wowk by wit a-and nyot by witchcwaft, -And >_> wit depends on uWu diwatowy t-time. -Does't nyot go weww? Cassio hath b-beaten thee, -And thou by that smaww huwt hast cashiew'd Cassio. -T-Though o-othew things gwow faiw against t-the sun, -Yet fwuits that :3 bwossom fiwst wiww f-fiwst be wipe. -Content thysewf awhiwe. By the mass, 'tis mownying; -Pweasuwe and action m-make t-the *teleports behind you* houws seem showt. -W-Wetiwe thee; go w-whewe thou awt biwweted. -Away, I say. Thou shawt knyow mowe heweaftew. -Nyay, get thee OwO gonye. [Exit Wodewigo.] Two things awe to be donye: -My wife *notices bulge* must move fow C-Cassio to hew mistwess- -I'ww set hew on; -Mysewf t-the w-whiwe to dwaw the Moow apawt, -And bwing him jump when he x3 may Cassio find -Sowiciting his wife. Ay, that's *looks away* the way; -Duww OwO nyot device by cowdnyess xDD and d-deway. Exit. - - - - -<> - - - -A-ACT III. SCENyE I-I. -Befowe the castwe. - -*looks at you* Entew Cassio and ^.^ some Musicians. - -CASSIO. Mastews, *notices bulge* pway :3 hewe, I wiww content youw pains; Something -that's bwief; and bid "Good m-mowwow, *blushes* genyewaw." -Music. - -Entew Cwown. - -CWOWN. Why, mastews, have y-youw instwuments been in Nyapwes, that -*twerks* they speak i' :33 the nyose thus? -FIWST MUSICIAN. How, *moans* siw, how? -CWOWN. Awe these, I pway you, wind *moans* instwuments? -FIWST MUSICIAN. Ay, mawwy, *twerks* awe they, siw. -CWOWN. O, theweby hangs a >_< taiw. -FIWST MUSICIAN. Wheweby hangs *giggles shyly* a tawe, siw? -*cries* CWOWN. Mawwy, siw, by many *twerks* a wind i-instwument that I knyow. But, -mastews, hewe's monyey fow you; and the genyewaw so wikes youw -m-music, that he desiwes you, fow wove's sake, to m-make nyo mowe -nyoise with it. -FIWST MUSICIAN. Weww, siw, we wiww nyot. -CWOWN. If you have any *teleports behind you* music that may nyot b-be heawd, to't again; -but, *teleports behind you* as they say, to heaw music the genyewaw d-does nyot gweatwy -cawe. -FIWST MUSICIAN. We have nyonye such, siw. -CWOWN. *blushes* Then p-put up youw pipes in y-youw bag, fow I-I'ww >w< away. -Go, vanyish i-into aiw, away! Exeunt Musicians. -CASSIO. Dost thou h-heaw, my honyest fwiend? -*cuddles you* CWOWN. *blushes* Nyo, I heaw nyot y-youw honyest fwiend; I heaw you. -CASSIO. Pwithee, keep up t-thy quiwwets. Thewe's a poow piece o-of g-gowd -fow ;;w;; thee. I-If the gentwewoman t-that attends the genyewaw's wife be -s-stiwwing, teww hew :3 thewe's >_> onye Cassio entweats hew a wittwe favow -of speech. Wiwt thou do t-this? -CWOWN. She is stiwwing, siw. If s-she wiww stiw hithew, I shaww seem -t-to n-nyotify unto *teleports behind you* hew. -*looks at you* CASSIO. Do, good my fwiend. Exit Cwown. - -Entew Iago. - -In happy time, ^.^ Iago. -IAGO. Y-You have n-nyot been abed, then? -CASSIO. Why, nyo; the day had ;;w;; bwoke -Befowe we pawted. I h-have made bowd, Iago, -To send in to youw wife. My suit to hew -Is that she wiww to viwtuous Desdemonya -Pwocuwe me some access. -IAGO. I'ww send hew to you pwesentwy; -And I'ww devise a mean t-to dwaw the Moow -*looks away* Out *pokes you* of the way, that youw convewse and businyess -May be mowe fwee. -C-CASSIO. I humbwy thank you fow't. OwO [Exit Iago.] I nyevew knyew -A-A Fwowentinye mowe kind and honyest. - -Entew Emiwia. - -E-EMIWIA. Good mowwow, good wieutenyant. *sweats* I am *blushes* sowwy -Fow youw dispweasuwe, but aww wiww suwe be weww. -The *looks away* genyewaw and his wife a-awe tawking of it, -And she speaks *twerks* fow y-you stoutwy. The Moow wepwies -That he you *looks at you* huwt is of gweat fame i-in *looks at you* Cypwus -And x3 gweat affinyity *looks away* and that in whowesome wisdom -He might n-nyot but wefuse you; but he pwotests *blushes* he w-woves you -And nyeeds nyo othew suitow but his w-wikings -To take the safest occasion by the fwont -To bwing you in again. -CASSIO. Yet, I beseech you, -If you think fit, ow that it may be *sighs* donye, -G-Give me advantage of some bwief discouwse -With Desdemonya awonye. -EMIWIA. Pway you, c-come i-in. -I wiww bestow you whewe *hugs tightly* you shaww have time -To speak youw bosom *giggles shyly* fweewy. -CASSIO. I am much bound to y-you. -Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -A woom in the castwe. - -^-^ Entew Othewwo, Iago, and Gentwemen. - -OTHEWWO. These wettews give, I-Iago, to UwU the piwot, -And by him do my d-duties t-to the Senyate. ->_> That donye, UwU I wiww be wawking on the wowks; -Wepaiw thewe to me. -*giggles shyly* IAGO. Weww, my good wowd, I-I'ww *twerks* do't. -OTHEWWO. This fowtification, gentwemen, shaww w-we see't? -GENTWEMEN. We'ww wait upon youw wowdship. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -The gawden of t-the castwe. - -Entew Desdemonya, Cassio, and Emiwia. - -DESDEMONyA. Be thou >_< assuwed, g-good Cassio, I :3 wiww do -Aww m-my a-abiwities in t-thy b-behawf. -EMIWIA. Good madam, do. *teleports behind you* I wawwant it gwieves my husband -As if the cause wewe his. -DESDEMONyA. O, that's an h-honyest fewwow. Do nyot UwU doubt, Cassio, -But *looks away* I wiww have my wowd and you again -A-As fwiendwy as you wewe. -CASSIO. Bounteous *shuffles closer* madam, -Whatevew s-shaww become of Michaew Cassio, -H-He's *sweats* nyevew anything but youw twue sewvant. -DESDEMONyA. I knyow't: I thank you. You OwO do wove my wowd: -You h-have k-knyown him wong; and be you weww *sighs* assuwed -He *blushes* shaww in stwangenyess stand n-nyo fawthew o-off -Than in a-a powitic distance. -CASSIO. Ay, b-but, wady, -That powicy may eithew wast so wong, -Ow feed u-upon such nyice OwO and *teleports behind you* watewish diet, -O-Ow bweed itsewf so out of ciwcumstances, -That I being *cuddles you* absent and m-my pwace suppwied, -*leans over* My genyewaw wiww fowget m-my wove a-and sewvice. -DESDEMONyA. Do n-nyot doubt that. Befowe Emiwia h-hewe -I give t-thee wawwant o-of thy pwace, assuwe thee, -If *looks away* I do vow a fwiendship, I'ww pewfowm it -To the *twerks* wast awticwe. My wowd shaww nyevew west; -I'ww watch him t-tame *sighs* and *looks away* tawk him out of p-patience; -His bed shaww seem a schoow, his *pokes you* boawd a shwift; -I'ww intewmingwe evewything he does -W-With Cassio's s-suit. Thewefowe *blushes* be mewwy, Cassio, -Fow thy sowicitow s-shaww wathew d-die -Than give thy *moans* cause away. - -Entew Othewwo and *pokes you* Iago, at a distance. - -EMIWIA. Madam, hewe comes my wowd. -CASSIO. Madam, I'ww take my *sweats* weave. -DESDEMONyA. Nyay, stay and heaw me *twerks* speak. -CASSIO. Madam, nyot nyow. I am vewy iww at ease, -Unfit fow minye o-own puwposes. -DESDEMONyA. Weww, do youw discwetion. Exit Cassio. -*shuffles closer* IAGO. *sweats* Ha! ;;w;; I wike *teleports behind you* nyot that. -*leans over* OTHEWWO. What dost *looks at you* thou say? -IAGO. Nyothing, my wowd; ow UwU if- I knyow nyot what. -OTHEWWO. Was nyot t-that Cassio pawted fwom my wife? -IAGO. *blushes* Cassio, my wowd! Nyo, suwe, I *blushes* cannyot think it, -That he wouwd :33 steaw away so guiwty-wike, -S-Seeing you *notices bulge* coming. -OTHEWWO. *screams* I do bewieve 'twas :33 he. -DESDEMONyA. H-How nyow, my *looks at you* wowd! -I have *looks away* been tawking with a s-suitow hewe, -A-A man that wanguishes in youw dispweasuwe. -OTHEWWO. Who is't you mean? -DESDEMONyA. Why, *twerks* youw wieutenyant, >w< Cassio. G-Good my wowd, -If I have any gwace ow powew t-to move you, -His pwesent *cries* weconciwiation take; -Fow if he be nyot o-onye that t-twuwy woves you, -*looks at you* That ewws in *hugs tightly* ignyowance and n-nyot in cunnying, -I have *screams* nyo judgement >_> in an honyest face. -I pwithee, caww him back. -OTHEWWO. Went he hence nyow? -DESDEMONyA. *twerks* Ay, sooth; so humbwed -xDD That he hath weft pawt of his gwief w-with me -x3 To suffew with him. *looks away* Good wove, c-caww him back. -OTHEWWO. Nyot nyow, sweet Desdemonya; some othew time. -DESDEMONyA. But shaww't be s-showtwy? -O-OTHEWWO. The soonyew, s-sweet, fow y-you. -DESDEMONyA. Shaww't be tonyight at *cuddles you* suppew? -O-OTHEWWO. Nyo, nyot tonyight. -DESDEMONyA. T-Tomowwow dinnyew then? -O-OTHEWWO. I shaww nyot dinye a-at home; -I meet the UwU captains >_< at the :3 citadew. -DESDEMONyA. Why *moans* then t-tomowwow nyight, ow Tuesday mown, -On Tuesday *looks at you* nyoon, ow nyight, on Wednyesday mown. -*looks away* I p-pwithee, nyame the time, *sighs* but wet *sighs* it OwO nyot -Exceed thwee days. In faith, h-he's penyitent; -And yet his *notices bulge* twespass, in *sighs* ouw *leans over* common weason- -S-Save that, they say, the waws must make exampwe -O-Out of theiw b-best- is nyot awmost a fauwt -T-To incuw a pwivate check. When s-shaww he come? -Teww me, Othewwo. I *leans over* wondew i-in my souw, -What you wouwd ask me, that I shouwd deny, -Ow stand so mammewing on. What? Michaew Cassio, -That came awooing with you, and so m-many a time -*moans* When I h-have ;;w;; spoke of you dispwaisingwy -H-Hath ta'en youw uWu pawt- uWu to have so much to *sweats* do -To bwing him in! Twust me, I couwd do much- -O-OTHEWWO. Pwithee, nyo mowe. *giggles shyly* Wet him come when he wiww; -I wiww deny thee *cuddles you* nyothing. -DESDEMONyA. Why, this i-is nyot >w< a boon; -^w^ 'Tis as I s-shouwd entweat you *teleports behind you* weaw *pokes you* youw gwoves, -Ow feed on n-nyouwishing d-dishes, ow keep you wawm, -Ow sue to you to *twerks* do a *sighs* pecuwiaw pwofit -To youw own pewson. Nyay, w-when I have a suit -Whewein I mean to touch youw wove indeed, -It shaww be *blushes* fuww of poise and difficuwt w-weight, -And feawfuw to *giggles shyly* be g-gwanted. -OTHEWWO. I wiww deny *blushes* thee nyothing, -Wheweon, I do beseech thee, gwant me this, -T-To *screams* weave me but a-a w-wittwe *screams* to mysewf. -DESDEMONyA. Shaww I d-deny *looks away* you? Nyo. Faweweww, my w-wowd. -OTHEWWO. Faweweww, my Desdemonya; I'ww >_> come to thee s-stwaight. -DESDEMONyA. *sighs* Emiwia, come. *blushes* Be as youw fancies *twerks* teach you; -Whate'ew >_< you be, I am obedient. -Exeunt Desdemonya and Emiwia. -OTHEWWO. Excewwent wwetch! Pewdition catch my souw, -B-But I d-do wove thee! and when I wove thee nyot, -C-Chaos is come again. -IAGO. My nyobwe wowd- -OTHEWWO. What dost thou s-say, I-Iago? -IAGO. Did Michaew Cassio, when you woo'd m-my w-wady, -Knyow of *twerks* youw OwO wove? -OTHEWWO. ^w^ He did, fwom *giggles shyly* fiwst t-to wast. Why dost t-thou ask? -IAGO. But fow a s-satisfaction of my thought; -N-Nyo fuwthew hawm. -OTHEWWO. W-Why of *pokes you* thy thought, Iago? -*leans over* IAGO. I did nyot think he had *leans over* been acquainted with hew. -O-OTHEWWO. O-O, yes, uWu and went between us vewy *leans over* oft. -IAGO. Indeed! -O-OTHEWWO. Indeed? ay, i-indeed. Discewn'st thou aught in that? -I-Is he nyot honyest? -IAGO. *moans* Honyest, xDD my wowd? -OTHEWWO. :3 Honyest? Ay, honyest. -IAGO. My wowd, *pokes you* fow aught I knyow. -OTHEWWO. What d-dost thou t-think? ->w< IAGO. T-Think, my wowd? -OTHEWWO. Think, my wowd? By heaven, he echoes me, -*twerks* As if *moans* thewe wewe s-some monstew in xDD his >_< thought -Too hideous to *moans* be shown. Thou dost mean something. -I heawd thee say even nyow, thou wike'st nyot that, -When Cassio weft my wife. What *hugs tightly* didst nyot w-wike? -And when I towd thee he *cuddles you* was o-of my counsew -In my whowe couwse of wooing, thou cwiedst, "-"Indeed!" -And didst contwact and puwse thy bwow togethew, -As if thou then hadst shut up in thy bwain -*cuddles you* Some howwibwe conceit. :3 If thou dost wove me, -Show me thy thought. -IAGO. My wowd, you k-knyow I wove you. -OTHEWWO. I think thou OwO dost; -And fow I-I knyow thou'wt fuww of wove *hugs tightly* and >_> honyesty -And weigh'st t-thy *blushes* wowds befowe t-thou givest them bweath, -T-Thewefowe these stops of thinye fwight me *hugs tightly* the mowe; -;;w;; Fow such things in a fawse d-diswoyaw knyave -Awe twicks *pokes you* of custom; but in a m-man *leans over* that's just -They'we cwose diwations, wowking fwom the heawt, -That passion cannyot wuwe. -IAGO. F-Fow *giggles shyly* Michaew Cassio, -I-I dawe *teleports behind you* be swown I think that he is honyest. -OTHEWWO. I think so too. -IAGO. Men shouwd be what t-they *screams* seem; -O-Ow those that b-be nyot, w-wouwd *pokes you* they might s-seem nyonye! -OTHEWWO. Cewtain, men s-shouwd be w-what t-they seem. -IAGO. Why then I think Cassio's a-an honyest man. -OTHEWWO. *giggles shyly* Nyay, yet thewe's mowe in *leans over* this. -I pwithee, *sighs* speak *twerks* to me as to thy ^.^ thinkings, -As thou dost wuminyate, *blushes* and give thy wowst of thoughts -The wowst of wowds. -IAGO. Good my wowd, pawdon m-me; -Though I *blushes* am bound to x3 evewy act of duty, -I *twerks* am n-nyot bound to that *shuffles closer* aww *looks at you* swaves awe fwee to. -Uttew m-my t-thoughts? W-Why, s-say they awe viwe and fawse; -*shuffles closer* As whewe's that p-pawace wheweinto fouw things -Sometimes intwude nyot? Who has a bweast so puwe, -But some uncweanwy appwehensions -*teleports behind you* Keep weets and waw-days, and in *giggles shyly* session *screams* sit -With meditations wawfuw? -*pokes you* OTHEWWO. Thou *looks at you* dost conspiwe against :33 thy *teleports behind you* fwiend, Iago, -*shuffles closer* If thou but think'st ^w^ him wwong'd and makest his eaw -A stwangew t-to uWu thy thoughts. -IAGO. I do beseech you- -Though I p-pewchance am vicious in m-my guess, -As, I confess, it i-is my nyatuwe's pwague -To spy >_> into abuses, and oft my *shuffles closer* jeawousy -Shapes fauwts that awe nyot- :3 that youw wisdom x3 yet, -Fwom onye t-that so *twerks* impewfectwy conceits, -Wouwd take nyo nyotice, nyow *screams* buiwd youwsewf >_> a twoubwe -*blushes* Out o-of >_> his s-scattewing and unsuwe obsewvance. -It w-wewe nyot fow youw quiet n-nyow youw good, -Nyow fow my >_> manhood, honyesty, *cries* ow wisdom, -To *giggles shyly* wet UwU you knyow my thoughts. -O-OTHEWWO. What dost t-thou mean? -IAGO. Good nyame in man and woman, deaw my wowd, -Is the immediate jewew of theiw souws. -Who steaws my puwse *pokes you* steaws twash; 'tis s-something, nyothing; -'Twas minye, 'tis ^-^ his, and has been swave to thousands; -B-But h-he that f-fiwches fwom me my *leans over* good nyame -Wobs me of *twerks* that which *looks away* nyot enwiches him -A-And makes me *leans over* poow indeed. -O-OTHEWWO. By heaven, I'ww knyow thy thoughts. -IAGO. You cannyot, ;;w;; if my *twerks* heawt wewe in youw *screams* hand; -Nyow shaww nyot, whiwst *shuffles closer* 'tis in my custody. -OTHEWWO. Ha! -IAGO. O, bewawe, >_> my w-wowd, of jeawousy! -I-It is the gween-eyed m-monstew, which doth mock -The meat it feeds on. That *hugs tightly* cuckowd wives in bwiss -Who, cewtain ^w^ of OwO his fate, woves nyot his wwongew; -B-But O, what damnyed minyutes tewws *hugs tightly* he o'ew -W-Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, y-yet stwongwy woves! -OTHEWWO. O misewy! -IAGO. *moans* Poow and content is wich, and wich *screams* enyough; -B-But w-wiches finyewess i-is *giggles shyly* as poow as wintew -T-To him t-that evew feaws he shaww be poow. -Good heaven, the souws *shuffles closer* of aww my twibe defend -Fwom jeawousy! -O-OTHEWWO. Why, >w< why uWu is this? -Think'st *screams* thou I-I'wd m-make a ;;w;; wife of jeawousy, -To fowwow stiww the changes of t-the moon -With fwesh suspicions? Nyo! T-To b-be o-once in doubt -*teleports behind you* Is once to b-be wesowved. Exchange me *moans* fow a goat -When I-I shaww t-tuwn the businyess of my souw -To such exsuffwicate and b-bwown suwmises, -Matching ^w^ thy i-infewence. 'Tis nyot to make me jeawous -To say my wife i-is faiw, OwO feeds weww, *sweats* woves company, -Is fwee o-of uWu speech, sings, pways, and dances weww; -Whewe viwtue is, these ^-^ awe mowe viwtuous. -N-Nyow fwom m-minye own weak mewits wiww I *moans* dwaw -The smawwest feaw ow doubt of hew wevowt; -Fow she h-had e-eyes and *moans* chose me. Nyo, Iago, -I'ww see befowe I *blushes* doubt; when I doubt, pwove; -And on the pwoof, thewe is nyo mowe but this- -Away a-at once with ^-^ wove ow jeawousy! -IAGO. I am gwad of i-it, uWu fow nyow I shaww have x3 weason -To show the wove and duty that I beaw you -With fwankew spiwit. Thewefowe, as I am bound, -Weceive it fwom m-me. *leans over* I speak nyot yet of pwoof. -W-Wook OwO to youw wife; xDD obsewve hew weww with Cassio; -Weaw youw eye thus, nyot j-jeawous nyow secuwe. -I *sweats* wouwd nyot have *hugs tightly* youw f-fwee and :3 nyobwe n-nyatuwe -Out of sewf-bounty be abused. Wook to't. -I knyow ouw countwy d-disposition weww; -In Venyice they do wet heaven see the pwanks -They dawe nyot show theiw h-husbands; t-theiw b-best c-conscience -Is nyot to weave't undonye, *leans over* but k-keep't unknyown. -OTHEWWO. Dost thou say so? -IAGO. She ;;w;; did deceive >w< hew fathew, >_< mawwying ^.^ you; -And when she seem'd t-to shake and *leans over* feaw youw wooks, -She woved them most. -OTHEWWO. And so she d-did. -IAGO. Why, *shuffles closer* go uWu to then. -She that so young couwd give out such a ^w^ seeming, -^w^ To seew *sighs* hew :33 fathew's eyes up cwose as oak- -He thought '-'twas witchcwaft- but I-I am much to bwame; -I-I humbwy *teleports behind you* do b-beseech :3 you x3 of youw pawdon -Fow too xDD much woving *moans* you. -OTHEWWO. I am *twerks* bound to thee fowevew. -IAGO. I see this hath a uWu wittwe dash'd *shuffles closer* youw s-spiwits. -;;w;; OTHEWWO. Nyot a jot, nyot *giggles shyly* a jot. -IAGO. I'faith, I feaw it :3 has. -I hope you wiww considew what >_> is spoke -Comes >_> fwom my wove. But I *notices bulge* do see you'we moved; -*looks away* I am to pway you n-nyot to s-stwain >w< my speech -To gwossew *teleports behind you* issues nyow to w-wawgew *looks away* weach -Than to s-suspicion. -OTHEWWO. I wiww nyot. -IAGO. Shouwd you do *notices bulge* so, my wowd, -My *pokes you* speech shouwd faww into such *sighs* viwe success -W-Which my t-thoughts aim nyot at. *looks away* Cassio's my wowthy fwiend- -M-My wowd, I see you'we moved. -OTHEWWO. Nyo, n-nyot much moved. -I do nyot think but Desdemonya's honyest. -IAGO. Wong wive she so! and wong wive y-you to think so! -O-OTHEWWO. And yet, how nyatuwe *teleports behind you* ewwing fwom itsewf- -I-IAGO. Ay, thewe's the point, as- to be bowd with you- -Nyot *notices bulge* to affect many pwoposed m-matches -Of hew o-own c-cwime, c-compwexion, and degwee, -Wheweto >_> we >_< see *looks at you* in aww things nyatuwe tends- -Foh, onye may smeww in such *cuddles you* a *giggles shyly* wiww most wank, -Fouw dispwopowtion, thoughts unnyatuwaw. -*looks at you* But pawdon me. I do nyot xDD in p-position -Distinctwy speak of hew; though I may feaw, -Hew wiww, wecoiwing to hew bettew judgement, -May uWu faww to match you UwU with hew *blushes* countwy OwO fowms, -And happiwy :3 wepent. -OTHEWWO. Faweweww, faweweww. -*shuffles closer* If mowe *looks at you* thou *looks at you* dost pewceive, wet me >w< knyow mowe; -Set on *giggles shyly* thy w-wife to obsewve. *teleports behind you* Weave me, Iago. -IAGO. [Going.] My wowd, I take my weave. -OTHEWWO. Why OwO did I mawwy? *leans over* This h-honyest x3 cweatuwe *pokes you* doubtwess -Sees and knyows mowe, much mowe, than he *looks at you* unfowds. -IAGO. [Wetuwnying.] My wowd, I wouwd I-I might entweat youw honyow -To scan this thing nyo fuwthew; weave it to time. -Though it b-be fit *giggles shyly* that Cassio have h-his pwace, -Fow suwe he fiwws it up with gweat abiwity, -Yet, if you pwease to howd h-him o-off a-awhiwe, -:33 You shaww by that pewceive him a-and his means. -:33 Nyote if youw wady stwain his entewtainment -With any s-stwong ow v-vehement impowtunyity; -Much wiww be seen in *cries* that. In the meantime, -Wet me be thought too busy in my feaws- -^.^ As ^.^ wowthy cause *shuffles closer* I have to xDD feaw I-I am- -And howd hew ^.^ fwee, I do UwU beseech youw honyow. -O-OTHEWWO. ;;w;; Feaw nyot m-my govewnment. -IAGO. *screams* I once >_< mowe take my weave. UwU Exit. -OTHEWWO. This *blushes* fewwow's of exceeding honyesty, -And knyows aww quawities, with a weawnyed spiwit, -Of human deawings. I-If I do ^.^ pwove hew haggawd, -Though that hew jesses wewe m-my deaw heawtstwings, -I-I'wd *pokes you* whistwe h-hew off *blushes* and wet hew down the wind -T-To pwey at fowtunye. Hapwy, fow I am bwack -And have :3 nyot those soft pawts of convewsation -That chambewews have, ow fow I am decwinyed -Into the v-vawe o-of yeaws- >_> yet that's nyot much- -She's gonye. I am abused, and my wewief -*looks at you* Must b-be to woathe ;;w;; hew. O-O cuwse of ^-^ mawwiage, -That we can *hugs tightly* caww these dewicate ^.^ cweatuwes ouws, -And *hugs tightly* nyot *twerks* theiw appetites! I had >_> wathew be a t-toad, -And w-wive upon the vapow o-of a-a dungeon, -Than keep a xDD cownyew in the thing I *twerks* wove -Fow othews' uses. Y-Yet, *teleports behind you* 'tis the pwague of gweat o-onyes: -P-Pwewogatived awe >_< they wess than the base; -'Tis destiny xDD unshunnyabwe, wike death. -E-Even then this fowked pwague is fated to us -When we ^.^ do quicken. Desdemonya c-comes: - -We-entew Desdemonya and Emiwia. - -If she be fawse, O-O, then heaven mocks *hugs tightly* itsewf! -I'ww n-nyot bewieve't. -DESDEMONyA. How nyow, my ;;w;; deaw Othewwo! -Youw dinnyew, and ^-^ the genyewous *moans* iswandews -By you invited, do *hugs tightly* attend youw pwesence. -O-OTHEWWO. I *looks at you* am to bwame. -DESDEMONyA. Why do you speak s-so f-faintwy? -Awe you nyot weww? -OTHEWWO. I have a pain upon my fowehead hewe. -DESDEMONyA. Faith, that's *cries* with watching; 'twiww away *teleports behind you* again. -W-Wet *cries* me but bind it hawd, within this houw -It wiww b-be weww. -OTHEWWO. Youw nyapkin *hugs tightly* is too wittwe; -He puts t-the handkewchief fwom him, and she ^.^ dwops it. -Wet it *screams* awonye. Come, I'ww go in with you. -*cuddles you* DESDEMONyA. I am v-vewy sowwy that you awe nyot weww. -Exeunt *teleports behind you* Othewwo and Desdemonya. -EMIWIA. I am gwad I have found x3 this nyapkin; -This was hew fiwst OwO wemembwance fwom the Moow. -My waywawd husband hath a hundwed times -Woo'd me to s-steaw it; b-but she so woves the t-token, -Fow *looks away* he *shuffles closer* conjuwed hew she shouwd evew keep i-it, -That she w-wesewves it evewmowe about h-hew -*looks at you* To >w< kiss *looks away* and tawk to. I'ww have t-the w-wowk ta'en out, -*notices bulge* And give't Iago. What ^.^ he wiww do with i-it -Heaven knyows, n-nyot I; -I n-nyothing but to UwU pwease *shuffles closer* his fantasy. - -W-We-entew I-Iago. - -IAGO. How nyow, what do y-you hewe awonye? -*looks at you* EMIWIA. *cries* Do nyot you chide; *cuddles you* I have a thing f-fow you. -IAGO. A thing fow me? It is a common thing- -EMIWIA. Ha! -IAGO. *cuddles you* To have ^.^ a foowish wife. -EMIWIA. O, is *pokes you* that aww? *cries* What wiww y-you give me nyow -Fow that *cuddles you* same handkewchief? -IAGO. W-What handkewchief? -EMIWIA. What handkewchief? -Why, that the Moow fiwst xDD gave to Desdemonya, -*giggles shyly* That w-which so *shuffles closer* often you d-did *pokes you* bid me steaw. -*teleports behind you* IAGO. Hast stow'n it fwom hew? -EMIWIA. Nyo, faith; she wet it dwop by nyegwigence, -And, *screams* to the advantage, I b-being hewe took't up. -OwO Wook, hewe *looks away* it i-is. -IAGO. A good wench; give it me. -EMIWIA. What w-wiww you do with't, that you h-have b-been so *giggles shyly* eawnyest -To have *hugs tightly* me *teleports behind you* fiwch it? -IAGO. [Snyatching *leans over* it.] Why, what is that to you? -x3 EMIWIA. *sighs* If't b-be nyot fow some puwpose of impowt, -Give't me again. Poow wady, *notices bulge* she'ww wun mad -When s-she shaww wack it. -OwO IAGO. Be nyot acknyown ^.^ on't; I have use fow *cuddles you* it. -Go, weave me. Exit *looks away* Emiwia. -I wiww *moans* in Cassio's wodging xDD wose this n-nyapkin, -And w-wet him find it. Twifwes wight as aiw -Awe to the jeawous >_> confiwmations stwong -A-As pwoofs *twerks* of howy *cries* wwit; *sweats* this may do something. -*leans over* The Moow *shuffles closer* awweady *notices bulge* changes with my poison: -Dangewous c-conceits awe in theiw nyatuwes poisons, -Which ^-^ at the fiwst awe ^-^ scawce *looks at you* found :33 to distaste, -But with a-a wittwe act upon OwO the bwood -Buwn ^.^ wike the :33 minyes of suwphuw. I *giggles shyly* did say :33 so. -Wook, w-whewe xDD he comes! - -We-entew Othewwo. - -Nyot >_< poppy, nyow mandwagowa, -;;w;; Nyow aww the dwowsy *notices bulge* sywups of t-the wowwd, -*giggles shyly* Shaww evew medicinye thee *sighs* to that s-sweet sweep -Which thou owedst yestewday. -OTHEWWO. Ha, ha, fawse t-to ^w^ me? -IAGO. Why, how nyow, genyewaw! Nyo mowe of t-that. -OTHEWWO. Avaunt! be gonye! Thou *sweats* hast set me on the w-wack. -^w^ I sweaw '-'tis bettew to be much abused -Than but to OwO knyow't a wittwe. -IAGO. How nyow, my w-wowd? -UwU OTHEWWO. What sense h-had I of hew stow'n houws of wust? -I saw't nyot, thought it nyot, i-it hawm'd nyot >w< me; -I *sweats* swept t-the *leans over* nyext nyight weww, was fwee *moans* and mewwy; -I found nyot Cassio's kisses on hew wips. -He that is wobb'd, n-nyot wanting what is stow'n, -Wet him nyot knyow't a-and he's nyot wobb'd at aww. -IAGO. I am sowwy t-to heaw this. -O-OTHEWWO. I had b-been happy i-if the genyewaw camp, -Pionyews and aww, had tasted hew sweet uWu body, -So I had nyothing k-knyown. *cuddles you* O, n-nyow fowevew -Faweweww *pokes you* the twanquiw mind! Faweweww content! -Faweweww the pwumed twoop and the big waws -That make ambition viwtue! *hugs tightly* O, *looks away* faweweww, -F-Faweweww the nyeighing steed and the shwiww twump, -The spiwit-stiwwing dwum, the eaw-piewcing fife, -The woyaw OwO bannyew, and aww quawity, -Pwide, pomp, and ciwcumstance of *pokes you* gwowious waw! -And O you mowtaw enginyes, whose wude thwoats -The immowtaw Jove's dwead cwamows countewfeit, -Faweweww! :3 Othewwo's occupation's gonye! -IAGO. Is't possibwe, my wowd? -OTHEWWO. V-Viwwain, *giggles shyly* be suwe thou p-pwove my wove a *pokes you* whowe; ->_> Be suwe of it. Give me the ocuwaw pwoof; -Ow, ^-^ by t-the *blushes* wowth of man's etewnyaw souw, ->_> Thou hadst been bettew have been bown a dog -Than answew my waked wwath! -IAGO. Is't come to :3 this? -OTHEWWO. Make m-me to s-see't; o-ow at the weast so pwove it, -That the pwobation beaw nyo hinge n-nyow woop -To *moans* hang a doubt on; ow woe upon thy wife! -IAGO. My nyobwe wowd- -O-OTHEWWO. If thou dost swandew *pokes you* hew a-and towtuwe me, -Nyevew pway mowe; abandon aww *teleports behind you* wemowse; -On xDD howwow's head howwows *cuddles you* accumuwate; -Do deeds t-to make heaven weep, aww eawth amazed; -F-Fow xDD nyothing canst thou *looks at you* to d-damnyation ^w^ add -Gweatew than that. -IAGO. O gwace! O heaven defend me! -Awe you a man? have you a souw ow sense? -*looks away* God be wi' you; take minye office. O wwetched foow, -That wivest to make *blushes* thinye honyesty a vice! -O *hugs tightly* monstwous wowwd! Take n-nyote, take nyote, O w-wowwd, -To be diwect a-and honyest is *hugs tightly* nyot *notices bulge* safe. -I-I thank you fow this pwofit, and fwom hence -I'ww wove nyo fwiend sith wove bweeds such offense. -OTHEWWO. Nyay, stay; thou s-shouwdst be honyest. -IAGO. I ^.^ shouwd be wise; ^.^ fow honyesty's a foow, -And w-woses that it w-wowks fow. -OTHEWWO. By the wowwd, -I t-think my wife be honyest, and think she is *hugs tightly* nyot; -I think that t-thou awt j-just, and *cuddles you* think thou awt n-nyot. -I'ww have some pwoof. H-Hew *moans* nyame, that was as fwesh -As Dian's visage, is *cuddles you* nyow begwimed >w< and bwack -A-As m-minye own face. If thewe *shuffles closer* be cowds ow k-knyives, -Poison ow fiwe, ow suffocating *shuffles closer* stweams, -I'ww *teleports behind you* nyot enduwe it. Wouwd I wewe satisfied! -IAGO. I-I see, siw, y-you a-awe *cries* eaten up w-with passion; -I do wepent me t-that I put it to you. -You wouwd be x3 satisfied? -OTHEWWO. Wouwd? xDD Nyay, I wiww. -IAGO. And may. *sweats* But, how? how satisfied, my wowd? -Wouwd you, *looks away* the supewvisow, gwosswy gape on? -Behowd hew topp'd? -*teleports behind you* OTHEWWO. Death :3 and damnyation! O! -:33 IAGO. It *twerks* wewe a tedious *sweats* difficuwty, *looks at you* I think, -To bwing them to that pwospect. Damn them t-then, -I-If evew mowtaw eyes do *sweats* see them bowstew -Mowe than theiw own! What then? how then? -What shaww I say? W-Whewe's satisfaction? -It is impossibwe you s-shouwd *looks at you* see this -:3 Wewe they as pwime as goats, as h-hot *cries* as monkeys, -As sawt as w-wowves in pwide, and foows as gwoss -As ignyowance made dwunk. But yet, I s-say, -If imputation and stwong ciwcumstances, -Which wead diwectwy to the doow of twuth, -Wiww give y-you satisfaction, you may have't. -OTHEWWO. Give me a wiving weason she's diswoyaw. -IAGO. I do *looks away* nyot w-wike *notices bulge* the ^.^ office; -B-But >w< sith I am entew'd in this cause so faw, -Pwick'd to't by f-foowish honyesty *shuffles closer* and *moans* wove, -x3 I wiww go o-on. *twerks* I way with xDD Cassio watewy -And, being twoubwed with a-a w-waging tooth, -I couwd nyot sweep. -Thewe *looks at you* awe a *pokes you* kind *cuddles you* of men so woose of souw, -That in ^.^ theiw sweeps w-wiww muttew theiw affaiws; -Onye of this UwU kind is Cassio. -*sighs* In sweep I heawd him say, "Sweet Desdemonya, -Wet us be wawy, w-wet us hide ouw woves"; -And then, siw, wouwd h-he gwipe and wwing my *sighs* hand, -Cwy, "O sweet cweatuwe!" and then k-kiss me hawd, -As if he pwuck'd *cries* up ;;w;; kisses by the woots, ->_< That gwew upon my wips; then waid his weg -Ovew my >_< thigh, *cuddles you* and sigh'd and kiss'd; *hugs tightly* and then -Cwied, "Cuwsed fate that gave thee to the Moow!" -OTHEWWO. *giggles shyly* O monstwous! monstwous! -IAGO. Nyay, t-this was but h-his d-dweam. -O-OTHEWWO. But this denyoted a fowegonye concwusion. -'-'Tis a shwewd doubt, though it be but a d-dweam. -I-IAGO. And this may hewp to thicken o-othew :33 pwoofs -That do demonstwate thinwy. -OTHEWWO. I'ww teaw *teleports behind you* hew aww to p-pieces. -IAGO. Nyay, but be wise; yet we see nyothing donye; -She may b-be honyest yet. Teww me but this; -H-Have you nyot sometimes seen a handkewchief -Spotted with s-stwawbewwies in >w< youw ^w^ wife's hand? -OTHEWWO. I g-gave hew such a onye; 'twas my *blushes* fiwst gift. -IAGO. I knyow nyot that; but such a handkewchief- -*teleports behind you* I *teleports behind you* am suwe it was youw wife's- *twerks* did I today -S-See Cassio wipe his beawd with. -OTHEWWO. *looks at you* If i-it be that- -IAGO. *moans* If it >_> be that, o-ow *twerks* any that was hews, -*pokes you* It speaks against hew *teleports behind you* with the othew pwoofs. -OTHEWWO. O, that the swave had fowty thousand w-wives! -*sighs* Onye >w< is too poow, too weak fow my *giggles shyly* wevenge. -Nyow do I >_> see 'tis twue. Wook h-hewe, Iago, -*looks away* Aww my fond wove thus do I bwow t-to heaven. -'Tis gonye. -Awise, bwack vengeance, fwom thy h-howwow h-heww! -*looks away* Yiewd up, O wove, thy cwown a-and heawted thwonye -To *looks away* tywannyous hate! Sweww, bosom, w-with thy fwaught, -Fow 'tis of aspics' *hugs tightly* tongues! -IAGO. Yet be content. -OTHEWWO. O, bwood, bwood, bwood! -^w^ IAGO. Patience, *twerks* I say; youw mind pewhaps may change. -O-OTHEWWO. Nyevew, Iago. Wike *sighs* to the Pontic *screams* Sea, -W-Whose icy c-cuwwent and *looks at you* compuwsive *pokes you* couwse -N-Nye'ew feews wetiwing ebb, but keeps due on -To the Pwopontic and the Hewwespont, -Even *giggles shyly* so my *teleports behind you* bwoody thoughts, with viowent pace, -Shaww nye'ew wook back, nye'ew ebb t-to h-humbwe wove, -Tiww that a capabwe and wide w-wevenge -Swawwow them u-up. Nyow, *leans over* by >_< yond mawbwe heaven, -In the due wevewence of a-a sacwed vow Knyeews. -I hewe e-engage my wowds. -IAGO. Do nyot wise yet. Knyeews. -Witnyess, *cuddles you* you evew-buwnying wights above, -You ewements that cwip us wound about, ->_< Witnyess ^-^ that hewe Iago *cries* doth give u-up -The execution of h-his wit, hands, heawt, -To wwong'd Othewwo's sewvice! W-Wet *giggles shyly* him command, -A-And to ^-^ obey shaww be >_> in me wemowse, -What bwoody businyess e-evew. They wise. -OTHEWWO. I g-gweet thy wove, -Nyot w-with vain thanks, but w-with *shuffles closer* acceptance bounteous, -And wiww upon the instant put thee to't: -Within t-these thwee days wet me :33 heaw *sweats* thee say -That C-Cassio's nyot >_< awive. -IAGO. My fwiend *hugs tightly* is dead, 'tis donye at youw wequest; -But wet *looks at you* hew wive. -OTHEWWO. D-Damn hew, wewd minx! O, damn hew! -Come, go w-with me *twerks* apawt; *cuddles you* I wiww w-withdwaw, -To fuwnyish me with some s-swift means of death -Fow the faiw x3 deviw. Nyow >_> awt thou my *moans* wieutenyant. -IAGO. I am youw own fowevew. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Befowe the *hugs tightly* castwe. - -Entew Desdemonya, Emiwia, a-and Cwown. - -DESDEMONyA. Do you knyow, siwwah, whewe W-Wieutenyant Cassio wies? -*hugs tightly* CWOWN. I d-dawe nyot say *moans* he *pokes you* wies *sweats* anywhewe. -DESDEMONyA. W-Why, m-man? -CWOWN. He's a sowdiew; and fow onye to say a-a sowdiew wies, is -stabbing. -*sweats* DESDEMONyA. Go to! Whewe *cuddles you* wodges h-he? -CWOWN. To teww you whewe he wodges, i-is to teww you whewe I wie. -DESDEMONyA. C-Can anything be made of this? -*moans* CWOWN. I knyow nyot whewe he wodges, a-and fow m-me to devise a wodging, -and say he wies hewe ow he wies t-thewe, wewe to wie in minye own -thwoat. -DESDEMONyA. Can you *sweats* inquiwe him out a-and be UwU edified by wepowt? -CWOWN. I wiww catechize the wowwd fow him; that *shuffles closer* is, make questions -and by them :33 answew. -DESDEMONyA. Seek him, bid *hugs tightly* him *shuffles closer* come h-hithew. Teww him I have m-moved my -wowd on his behawf *looks away* and OwO hope aww wiww be weww. -CWOWN. T-To d-do this is within t-the compass o-of man's wit, :33 and thewefowe -I wiww *sighs* attempt the doing it. Exit. -DESDEMONyA. Whewe shouwd I wose that h-handkewchief, Emiwia? -EMIWIA. I knyow nyot, madam. -DESDEMONyA. Bewieve *sighs* me, I had wathew have wost my *sighs* puwse -Fuww of cwusadoes; and, but *sighs* my *twerks* nyobwe Moow -Is twue *teleports behind you* of UwU mind and made of ;;w;; nyo *sighs* such basenyess -As jeawous cweatuwes awe, it wewe *cuddles you* enyough -To put him t-to iww thinking. -*blushes* EMIWIA. Is uWu he nyot jeawous? -D-DESDEMONyA. Who, he? I think t-the sun whewe he was bown -Dwew uWu aww such *giggles shyly* humows f-fwom him. -EMIWIA. Wook, whewe he comes. -DESDEMONyA. I wiww nyot weave him nyow tiww Cassio -Be c-caww'd x3 to him. - -Entew UwU Othewwo. - -How is't with you, my ^.^ wowd? -OTHEWWO. Weww, my *moans* good w-wady. [Aside.] *notices bulge* O, hawdnyess :3 to dissembwe! -How do you, Desdemonya? -DESDEMONyA. Weww, my good *looks at you* wowd. -OTHEWWO. UwU Give me youw hand. T-This *pokes you* hand is moist, my w-wady. -DESDEMONyA. OwO It yet *looks at you* has *shuffles closer* fewt nyo age nyow knyown nyo sowwow. -OTHEWWO. This awgues fwuitfuwnyess and wibewaw *cries* heawt; -Hot, hot, and moist. This hand of youws wequiwes -A sequestew f-fwom wibewty, fasting, and pwayew, -*hugs tightly* Much c-castigation, exewcise devout, -Fow hewe's a young and sweating deviw hewe -That commonwy webews. 'Tis a good hand, -A fwank onye. -DESDEMONyA. You uWu may, indeed, say so; -Fow 'twas that h-hand that *pokes you* gave away my heawt. -OTHEWWO. A wibewaw hand. The heawts of owd gave hands; -But ouw nyew hewawdwy *blushes* is hands, nyot h-heawts. -*looks at you* DESDEMONyA. I *pokes you* cannyot *shuffles closer* speak of this. Come nyow, youw pwomise. -OTHEWWO. What pwomise, chuck? -DESDEMONyA. *teleports behind you* I have s-sent to b-bid Cassio xDD come speak with you. -OTHEWWO. I have a s-sawt :33 and sowwy wheum offends me; -Wend me thy handkewchief. -*notices bulge* DESDEMONyA. H-Hewe, my w-wowd. -OTHEWWO. T-That which I gave you. -DESDEMONyA. I have it nyot about me. -OTHEWWO. Nyot? -D-DESDEMONyA. Nyo, faith, uWu my w-wowd. -OTHEWWO. *looks at you* That's a-a *looks away* fauwt. That handkewchief -*teleports behind you* Did an Egyptian to m-my mothew give; -S-She was a chawmew, and couwd ;;w;; awmost wead -The *leans over* thoughts uWu of *looks at you* peopwe. *looks at you* She towd *leans over* hew, whiwe she kept it, -'Twouwd make hew amiabwe and subdue my fathew -Entiwewy to hew wove, but if she wost it -Ow made ^.^ a gift of it, my *blushes* fathew's e-eye -Shouwd *sweats* howd h-hew woathed and >_< his spiwits shouwd hunt -Aftew nyew x3 fancies. She d-dying gave it me, -And bid me, when my fate wouwd have me wive, -*twerks* To give it hew. I did ;;w;; so, a-and take heed on't; -Make it a dawwing wike youw pwecious >_< eye; -To wose't o-ow give't away w-wewe such pewdition -As nyothing ewse couwd m-match. -DESDEMONyA. Is't p-possibwe? -OTHEWWO. 'Tis twue; thewe's magic in the *teleports behind you* web of it. -A sibyw, that ^w^ had nyumbew'd in the wowwd -T-The s-sun t-to *giggles shyly* couwse two hundwed c-compasses, -In hew p-pwophetic fuwy sew'd the wowk; -;;w;; The wowms wewe hawwow'd that did bweed the siwk, -And it w-was dyed in mummy which the skiwwfuw -Consewved of m-maiden's heawts. -DESDEMONyA. >_> Indeed! is't t-twue? -OTHEWWO. Most vewitabwe; thewefowe wook to't weww. -DESDEMONyA. Then wouwd UwU to God that I had nyevew s-seen't! -O-OTHEWWO. Ha! whewefowe? -DESDEMONyA. Why do y-you speak so stawtingwy xDD and wash? -OTHEWWO. I-Is't wost? is't *blushes* gonye? speak, is it out o' the way? -DESDEMONyA. Heaven bwess us! -OTHEWWO. S-Say y-you? -DESDEMONyA. It is nyot wost; but what an if it wewe? -OTHEWWO. How? -D-DESDEMONyA. I say, x3 it is nyot wost. -OTHEWWO. Fetch't, wet m-me see it. -DESDEMONyA. *hugs tightly* Why, s-so I *pokes you* can, siw, b-but I wiww nyot nyow. -*leans over* This is a twick to put me fwom my suit. -Pway you, wet Cassio be weceived again. -OTHEWWO. ;;w;; Fetch me the handkewchief, my mind misgives. -DESDEMONyA. Come, come, -You'ww nyevew x3 meet a mowe sufficient man. -OTHEWWO. The handkewchief! -DESDEMONyA. I pway, tawk me of Cassio. -OTHEWWO. The handkewchief! -DESDEMONyA. A man that aww his time -Hath founded his *cries* good fowtunyes on uWu youw wove, -Shawed dangews with y-you- -OTHEWWO. The h-handkewchief! -DESDEMONyA. In sooth, you awe to bwame. -OTHEWWO. A-Away! *cries* Exit. -EMIWIA. Is nyot this man jeawous? -uWu DESDEMONyA. I-I nye'ew saw this befowe. -Suwe thewe's some w-wondew in this handkewchief; -I-I am most unhappy in >_> the woss of it. -EMIWIA. 'Tis nyot a yeaw ow t-two *blushes* shows us *giggles shyly* a man. -They a-awe aww >_> but stomachs *pokes you* and we aww but food; -They eat >w< us hungewwy, and when they awe fuww -They b-bewch us. Wook you! Cassio and my husband. - -*blushes* Entew Cassio and Iago. - -I-IAGO. Thewe i-is nyo othew way; 'tis *cries* she m-must do't. -^-^ And, wo, ^-^ the happinyess! G-Go and impowtunye hew. -DESDEMONyA. How nyow, good Cassio! What's t-the nyews w-with you? -x3 CASSIO. Madam, m-my fowmew suit: *screams* I do beseech *blushes* you -That by youw *teleports behind you* viwtuous means *giggles shyly* I *giggles shyly* may again -Exist a-and be *twerks* a membew of his wove -*hugs tightly* Whom I with aww the office of my ^w^ heawt -E-Entiwewy honyow. I-I wouwd nyot b-be deway'd. ->w< If my offense be *giggles shyly* of such mowtaw kind -That nyow my sewvice past nyow pwesent sowwows -Nyow puwposed mewit in futuwity -C-Can wansom *sweats* me *hugs tightly* into his wove again, -But to *leans over* knyow so must be my benyefit; -So shaww I cwothe ^.^ me in a fowced content -A-And shut mysewf up in some othew couwse -*blushes* To Fowtunye's a-awms. -DESDEMONyA. Awas, thwice-gentwe Cassio! -My advocation is n-nyot *cries* nyow in tunye; -My wowd is nyot my wowd, nyow shouwd I knyow *leans over* him -Wewe he in favow as i-in humow awtew'd. -S-So hewp *hugs tightly* me evewy spiwit sanctified, -As I have s-spoken fow you a-aww m-my b-best -A-And stood w-within t-the bwank of his dispweasuwe -Fow my fwee *hugs tightly* speech! You must awhiwe be patient. -What I can UwU do I-I wiww; and mowe I-I wiww -*cries* Than *cries* fow mysewf I dawe. Wet that *sweats* suffice you. -IAGO. Is my wowd angwy? -EMIWIA. He went hence but nyow, -And cewtainwy in stwange u-unquietnyess. -IAGO. Can he b-be angwy? I have seen the c-cannyon, -*teleports behind you* When >_> it hath bwown ^.^ his wanks into the aiw -*teleports behind you* And, wike >_> the d-deviw, f-fwom h-his vewy awm -Puff'd *cries* his own bwothew. And can he be angwy? -Something of m-moment then. I wiww *teleports behind you* go meet ;;w;; him. -T-Thewe's mattew in't indeed if UwU he be angwy. -*blushes* DESDEMONyA. I pwithee, d-do so. Exit Iago. -Something suwe of *teleports behind you* state, -Eithew fwom Venyice ow some unhatch'd pwactice -Made demonstwabwe hewe in Cypwus >w< to him, -Hath puddwed his cweaw *looks at you* spiwit; *leans over* and in such OwO cases -Men's nyatuwes wwangwe with infewiow things, -Though gweat onyes awe theiw object. 'Tis e-even so; -Fow wet ouw fingew ache, and it *shuffles closer* indues -Ouw *moans* othew heawthfuw membews even to that sense -Of pain. Nyay, we must think men awe nyot g-gods, -Nyow o-of them OwO wook fow such obsewvancy -As *leans over* fits UwU the bwidaw. Beshwew me much, Emiwia, -xDD I was, unhandsome wawwiow *giggles shyly* as I am, -Awwaignying *giggles shyly* his unkindnyess with my s-souw; -But nyow >_< I find I had s-subown'd the witnyess, -*screams* And he's indicted fawsewy. -*moans* EMIWIA. Pway heaven it be state mattews, as you think, -And OwO nyo conception nyow n-nyo jeawous toy -Concewnying you. -D-DESDEMONyA. Awas *cries* the d-day, ^-^ I nyevew gave him c-cause! -EMIWIA. But jeawous souws wiww *blushes* nyot b-be answew'd so; -They a-awe nyot evew jeawous fow the cause, -*sighs* But >w< jeawous fow they awe ^w^ jeawous. 'Tis a ^.^ monstew -Begot upon itsewf, *leans over* bown *moans* on itsewf. -DESDEMONyA. H-Heaven k-keep that *giggles shyly* monstew fwom Othewwo's mind! -EMIWIA. Wady, amen. -*giggles shyly* DESDEMONyA. I wiww go >_< seek h-him. Cassio, wawk heweabout. -If I do find him ;;w;; fit, I'ww ^.^ move youw suit, -And s-seek to uWu effect it to my uttewmost. -C-CASSIO. I humbwy *twerks* thank >w< youw wadyship. -Exeunt Desdemonya *looks away* and Emiwia. - -Entew Bianca. - -BIANCA. S-Save you, f-fwiend Cassio! -^.^ CASSIO. What make you f-fwom home? -How is it w-with you, my m-most faiw Bianca? ->w< I'faith, sweet wove, I was coming t-to youw house. -BIANCA. And *moans* I was going to youw wodging, Cassio. -What, keep a w-week away? seven *looks away* days and nyights? -Eight scowe eight houws? a-and wovews' absent houws, -Mowe UwU tedious ;;w;; than the d-diaw e-eight scowe >_> times? -O weawy weckonying! -CASSIO. Pawdon me, Bianca. -I have this whiwe with weaden thoughts been p-pwess'd; -But I uWu shaww i-in a mowe continyuate *shuffles closer* time -Stwike off this scowe o-of absence. Sweet Bianca, -Gives *looks away* hew Desdemonya's handkewchief. -Take m-me this wowk o-out. -B-BIANCA. O Cassio, whence c-came this? -This i-is some token f-fwom a nyewew fwiend. -To the fewt absence nyow *looks at you* I feew a cause. -Is't come to this? Weww, weww. -CASSIO. G-Go to, *notices bulge* woman! -Thwow *looks at you* youw viwe guesses in ^-^ the deviw's teeth, -Fwom whence you have them. You awe *notices bulge* jeawous nyow -That this *cries* is fwom :3 some *cries* mistwess, some w-wemembwance. -N-Nyo, by xDD my f-faith, Bianca. -BIANCA. Why, ^.^ whose is it? -C-CASSIO. I knyow nyot, sweet. I found it in m-my :3 chambew. -I wike the wowk weww. Ewe it be demanded- -As wike e-enyough it wiww- I-I'wd *cries* have i-it copied. -T-Take it, and do't; and w-weave me fow this time. -BIANCA. Weave you! whewefowe? -CASSIO. I do attend hewe on *moans* the *leans over* genyewaw; -And think i-it nyo addition, nyow my w-wish, -To have him see me *blushes* woman'd. -BIANCA. Why, I pway you? -CASSIO. *pokes you* Nyot that I wove you nyot. -BIANCA. But that you do nyot wove me. -I pway y-you, *twerks* bwing me on the way a w-wittwe, -And say if I shaww see *hugs tightly* you >_> soon at nyight. -*notices bulge* CASSIO. 'Tis but a w-wittwe way that I can *moans* bwing you, -Fow I attend hewe, b-but I'ww see you soon. -BIANCA. *sighs* 'Tis vewy good; I must *twerks* be ciwcumstanced. Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT *teleports behind you* IV. SCENyE I. -Cypwus. Befowe t-the castwe. - -Entew Othewwo and Iago. - -IAGO. Wiww you think so? -OTHEWWO. Think so, Iago? -IAGO. What, -To kiss *teleports behind you* in pwivate? -OTHEWWO. An unyauthowized kiss. -IAGO. Ow to be nyaked with hew fwiend in bed -An houw ow mowe, nyot meanying any hawm? -OTHEWWO. N-Nyaked i-in bed, *blushes* Iago, a-and nyot *sweats* mean hawm! -It is hypocwisy against the deviw. -They that *looks at you* mean viwtuouswy and yet do so, -The deviw theiw viwtue tempts and they tempt ;;w;; heaven. -IAGO. So they do nyothing, >_> 'tis a venyiaw swip. -B-But if :3 I *blushes* give m-my wife *looks away* a handkewchief- -OTHEWWO. What then? -IAGO. Why, then, 'tis hews, my wowd, UwU and *pokes you* being hews, -She may, I-I think, bestow't on a-any :3 man. -O-OTHEWWO. She is pwotectwess *giggles shyly* of *cuddles you* hew honyow too. -May she give t-that? -IAGO. Hew h-honyow is an essence t-that's nyot *moans* seen; -T-They *pokes you* have it vewy ;;w;; oft that have *leans over* it nyot. -But x3 fow the handkewchief- -OTHEWWO. By heaven, I *giggles shyly* wouwd m-most gwadwy have fowgot it. -T-Thou said'st- O, it comes o'ew my memowy, -As doth the waven o'ew t-the infected house, -Boding to aww- he had my handkewchief. -IAGO. *shuffles closer* Ay, what of that? -*looks away* OTHEWWO. That's nyot s-so good *cuddles you* nyow. -IAGO. *sweats* What, -If I-I had said I had seen him *twerks* do you wwong? -*pokes you* Ow *looks at you* heawd him say- a-as knyaves be such abwoad, -Who having, by theiw own i-impowtunyate suit, -Ow vowuntawy dotage of some mistwess, -C-Convinced ow suppwied x3 them, cannyot choose -But they must b-bwab- -OTHEWWO. H-Hath he said anything? -IAGO. He hath, m-my wowd; but be you weww assuwed, -Nyo mowe than he'ww unsweaw. -x3 OTHEWWO. What hath he said? -IAGO. Faith, ^.^ that he did- I knyow nyot what he did. -*cuddles you* OTHEWWO. What? what? -*looks at you* IAGO. Wie- -OTHEWWO. With hew? -IAGO. With hew, on hew, what you w-wiww. -OTHEWWO. *pokes you* Wie with hew! wie on hew! *cuddles you* We say wie *cuddles you* on h-hew, w-when they -*screams* bewie hew. Wie *blushes* with *twerks* hew! 'Zounds, that's fuwsome! Handkewchief- -confessions- *sighs* handkewchief! To confess and be hanged *moans* fow his wabow- -fiwst, to be hanged, and *sweats* then to *cuddles you* confess. I twembwe at it. -Nyatuwe *blushes* wouwd *screams* nyot *cuddles you* invest hewsewf in *giggles shyly* such shadowing passion w-without -some instwuction. It *looks away* is nyot wowds that shakes me thus. Pish! -Nyoses, eaws, and *sweats* wips. Is't possibwe? *sweats* Confess? Handkewchief? O -deviw! -*looks away* Fawws i-in a twance. -IAGO. Wowk on, -My medicinye, wowk! Thus *notices bulge* cweduwous foows awe caught, -And many wowthy and chaste dames even thus, -Aww g-guiwtwess, meet wepwoach. What, ho! ;;w;; My wowd! -My wowd, I say! Othewwo! - -Entew uWu Cassio. - -How n-nyow, Cassio! -:33 CASSIO. What's the mattew? -IAGO. My wowd is faww'n into an epiwepsy. -This is his s-second fit; he had onye yestewday. -CASSIO. Wub him about the tempwes. -IAGO. Nyo, *twerks* fowbeaw; -uWu The wethawgy ^.^ must have his quiet *teleports behind you* couwse. -If nyot, he foams at mouth, and by a-and by -Bweaks out t-to savage madnyess. Wook, he stiws. -Do you withdwaw youwsewf a wittwe whiwe, -He wiww wecovew stwaight. When he is *cries* gonye, -I wouwd on :33 gweat occasion speak with you. E-Exit C-Cassio. -How is it, genyewaw? H-Have you nyot huwt youw head? -OTHEWWO. Dost thou ^.^ mock me? -IAGO. I mock you? N-Nyo, by heaven. -*pokes you* Wouwd *moans* you wouwd beaw youw fowtunye x3 wike a man! -OTHEWWO. A hownyed man's a monstew and a beast. -IAGO. Thewe's many a beast then in a popuwous city, -And ^-^ many a civiw monstew. -*looks away* OTHEWWO. Did he confess it? -IAGO. G-Good siw, >_> be a man; -Think *teleports behind you* evewy beawded f-fewwow that's but y-yoked -May dwaw with you. *leans over* Thewe's m-miwwions nyow awive -That nyightwy wie in those u-unpwopew beds -Which they dawe sweaw pecuwiaw. Youw case is bettew. -O, 'tis the spite of *looks at you* heww, the fiend's awch-mock, -*cuddles you* To wip a wanton *screams* in a-a secuwe couch, -And to suppose hew chaste! Nyo, wet me knyow, -And knyowing what I-I am, I knyow what she shaww *hugs tightly* be. -OTHEWWO. ^.^ O, thou awt :33 wise; 'tis cewtain. -IAGO. Stand you awhiwe *blushes* apawt, -Confinye youwsewf *looks at you* but in a patient wist. -Whiwst *twerks* you w-wewe hewe o'ewwhewmed w-with youw gwief- -A passion m-most unsuiting such a m-man- -C-Cassio came hithew. I *sweats* shifted h-him away, -And waid good :33 'scuse upon youw e-ecstasy; -Bade him UwU anyon wetuwn and hewe speak w-with m-me -T-The which he pwomised. Do but encave youwsewf -And mawk the fweews, t-the UwU gibes, and nyotabwe scowns, -That dweww in evewy *sweats* wegion of his face; -Fow I w-wiww make him teww the tawe anyew, -Whewe, how, *pokes you* how oft, *giggles shyly* how wong ago, and when -He hath and is again to ^.^ cope y-youw *cuddles you* wife. -I say, but mawk his gestuwe. Mawwy, *sighs* patience, -Ow I shaww say you awe x3 aww in aww in spween, -And n-nyothing of a *shuffles closer* man. -OTHEWWO. Dost thou heaw, Iago? -I-I wiww be found most cunnying in my patience; -B-But (dost thou heaw?) most bwoody. -IAGO. That's nyot amiss; -But yet keep t-time in aww. W-Wiww you withdwaw? -Othewwo wetiwes. -Nyow wiww I-I OwO question Cassio of *shuffles closer* Bianca, -A housewife that by sewwing hew ^w^ desiwes -Buys h-hewsewf bwead and c-cwothes. It is a c-cweatuwe -That dotes on Cassio, as '-'tis the s-stwumpet's pwague -To *giggles shyly* beguiwe :3 many *shuffles closer* and be beguiwed b-by o-onye. -He, when he h-heaws *hugs tightly* of *cuddles you* hew, c-cannyot wefwain -Fwom ^w^ the excess >_> of waughtew. Hewe he c-comes. - -We-entew Cassio. - -*twerks* As he >_> shaww *sweats* smiwe, Othewwo shaww go mad; -A-And his unbookish jeawousy must constwue -Poow Cassio's smiwes, gestuwes, and w-wight behaviow -Quite in the wwong. *notices bulge* How do you nyow, wieutenyant? -C-CASSIO. The wowsew that you give m-me ^-^ the a-addition -Whose want even kiwws me. -IAGO. Pwy Desdemonya weww, and you awe suwe on't. -Nyow, i-if this s-suit way *looks at you* in Bianco's p-powew, -H-How quickwy shouwd you speed! -CASSIO. Awas, poow caitiff! -OTHEWWO. *looks at you* Wook, how *looks at you* he waughs a-awweady! -IAGO. I nyevew knyew a woman wove man so. -CASSIO. Awas, poow wogue! *cuddles you* I think, OwO i'faith, she w-woves me. -OTHEWWO. Nyow he denyies it *cries* faintwy a-and w-waughs it out. -IAGO. D-Do you heaw, C-Cassio? -xDD OTHEWWO. Nyow he impowtunyes h-him -T-To t-teww i-it o-o'ew. Go to; weww ^-^ said, weww said. -IAGO. She gives it o-out t-that you shaww mawwy hew. -Do you intend it? -*sweats* CASSIO. Ha, h-ha, ha! -OTHEWWO. Do *cries* you twiumph, Woman? Do you twiumph? -xDD CASSIO. I mawwy hew! What? A customew! I pwithee, b-beaw some chawity -t-to my wit; d-do nyot think it so u-unwhowesome. Ha, ha, ha! -OTHEWWO. uWu So, so, UwU so, so. *leans over* They waugh that win. -IAGO. Faith, the cwy goes that you shaww mawwy hew. -CASSIO. Pwithee, say twue. -IAGO. I am a v-vewy viwwain >_< ewse. -OTHEWWO. Have you scowed me? >_< Weww. -^w^ CASSIO. T-This is x3 the monkey's own giving out. She is pewsuaded ^.^ I -wiww mawwy hew, out of hew ^w^ own wove >_< and fwattewy, *cuddles you* nyot out o-of my -pwomise. -OTHEWWO. Iago b-beckons me; *teleports behind you* nyow he begins *looks away* the *twerks* stowy. -CASSIO. She was hewe even nyow; s-she haunts me in evewy pwace. *shuffles closer* I was -the othew day tawking on the sea bank *shuffles closer* with cewtain Venyetians, and -thithew comes the baubwe, and, by this hand, she fawws me thus -about :33 my nyeck- -O-OTHEWWO. Cwying, "O deaw *pokes you* Cassio!" *leans over* as it wewe; his gestuwe i-impowts -it. -CASSIO. So hangs a-and wowws and *twerks* weeps upon *hugs tightly* me; *looks away* so hawes and p-puwws -me. Ha, >w< ha, ha! -*cries* OTHEWWO. Nyow he tewws how she pwucked him to my chambew. O, I s-see -that nyose of youws, *cries* but nyot >w< that *teleports behind you* dog I shaww thwow it to. -CASSIO. *teleports behind you* Weww, I must weave hew company. -IAGO. Befowe m-me! wook whewe she comes. -CASSIO. 'Tis such a-anyothew fitchew! mawwy, a pewfumed o-onye. - -Entew Bianca. - -What do you mean by this haunting of me? -BIANCA. Wet the deviw and his dam *moans* haunt you! What did you mean by -that same h-handkewchief you gave me even nyow? I was a finye *screams* foow to -take it. I m-must take out the wowk? A w-wikewy piece of wowk OwO that -you shouwd find i-it in y-youw chambew and nyot knyow w-who weft it -thewe! T-This is some m-minx's token, and I >w< must take out t-the wowk? -Thewe, g-give it y-youw hobbyhowse. W-Whewesoevew *cuddles you* you h-had ^.^ it, I'ww take -x3 out nyo wowk on't. -CASSIO. How nyow, m-my sweet Bianca! how nyow! how nyow! -OTHEWWO. By heaven, t-that *looks at you* shouwd be my handkewchief! -BIANCA. An you'ww come to *cuddles you* suppew tonyight, you m-may; an you wiww nyot, -come when you awe nyext pwepawed fow. Exit. -I-IAGO. Aftew hew, aftew hew. -*cries* CASSIO. Faith, >_< I must; she'ww :3 waiw i' the stweet ewse. -IAGO. Wiww y-you sup thewe? -C-CASSIO. F-Faith, I *moans* intend *notices bulge* so. -IAGO. Weww, I may *sighs* chance to see you, *looks away* fow I wouwd vewy *teleports behind you* fain speak -with you. -CASSIO. Pwithee, come; *shuffles closer* wiww y-you? -IAGO. Go to; say nyo mowe. Exit Cassio. -O-OTHEWWO. [Advancing.] How s-shaww I muwthew him, Iago? -IAGO. Did y-you p-pewceive ^.^ how :3 he waughed at his vice? -OTHEWWO. O *screams* Iago! -IAGO. And did you *cuddles you* see the handkewchief? -OTHEWWO. >w< Was that minye? -IAGO. *giggles shyly* Youws, by ^.^ this hand. And to see how he pwizes the foowish -woman youw wife! She gave it him, and *leans over* he hath given *sighs* it his *cuddles you* whowe. -OTHEWWO. *hugs tightly* I wouwd have him nyinye yeaws akiwwing. A finye woman! a faiw -woman! a sweet woman! -I-IAGO. *looks away* Nyay, you must fowget that. -OTHEWWO. Ay, wet h-hew wot, and pewish, and be damnyed tonyight, fow -she shaww nyot wive. x3 Nyo, m-my heawt is *twerks* tuwnyed *screams* to stonye; I stwike it, -a-and it huwts my hand. O, *leans over* the wowwd x3 hath nyot *twerks* a sweetew *sighs* cweatuwe. -*screams* She might wie by an empewow's side, and command *hugs tightly* him t-tasks. ->_< IAGO. Nyay, that's nyot youw way. -OTHEWWO. Hang hew! I do b-but say *leans over* what she is. ^-^ So dewicate with hew -nyeedwe, an *leans over* admiwabwe musician. O, s-she wiww *cuddles you* sing the s-savagenyess -out of a beaw. :3 Of so high and pwenteous wit :3 and invention- -IAGO. *pokes you* She's the wowse f-fow aww this. -OTHEWWO. *hugs tightly* O, a thousand, a-a thousand times. *teleports behind you* And t-then, *moans* of so g-gentwe *notices bulge* a -condition! -*leans over* IAGO. Ay, too gentwe. -*looks at you* OTHEWWO. Nyay, that's cewtain. *shuffles closer* But y-yet the *twerks* pity :33 of it, Iago! -O *looks at you* Iago, the pity >w< of it, *pokes you* Iago! -*teleports behind you* IAGO. If you awe so *sighs* fond ovew h-hew inyiquity, give hew patent to -offend, fow, if it touch n-nyot you, it comes nyeaw nyobody. -OTHEWWO. I wiww chop hew into m-messes. *shuffles closer* Cuckowd me! -UwU IAGO. O-O, 'tis fouw *looks away* in hew. -OTHEWWO. With minye ^.^ officew! -*cuddles you* IAGO. That's fouwew. -*sweats* OTHEWWO. Get me :33 some poison, Iago, t-this OwO nyight. I'ww nyot expostuwate -*leans over* with *notices bulge* hew, w-west hew body and beauty *giggles shyly* unpwovide my mind a-again. *hugs tightly* This -nyight, Iago. -IAGO. Do it nyot with poison, stwangwe hew in hew bed, even the *sighs* bed -she hath contaminyated. -OTHEWWO. Good, *screams* good, the justice o-of it pweases, vewy *looks at you* good. -IAGO. And fow Cassio, wet me be his undewtakew. You shaww heaw mowe -by midnyight. -O-OTHEWWO. Excewwent good. [A twumpet *looks away* within.] What twumpet *giggles shyly* is that -s-same? -IAGO. Something fwom Venyice, suwe. 'Tis Wodovico -Come fwom the Duke. And, see x3 youw wife is with him. - -Entew *hugs tightly* Wodovico, Desdemonya, and Attendants. - -WODOVICO. *leans over* God *sighs* save the wowthy g-genyewaw! -*notices bulge* OTHEWWO. With a-aww my heawt, siw. -WODOVICO. The Duke and Senyatows of Venyice gweet you. -xDD Gives him a w-wettew. -OTHEWWO. I *looks at you* kiss the instwument of theiw pweasuwes. -Opens ^-^ the wettew, and weads. ->_> DESDEMONyA. And what's *screams* the nyews, good cousin Wodovico? -x3 IAGO. I am vewy gwad t-to see you, signyiow; -W-Wewcome UwU to Cypwus. -WODOVICO. I t-thank you. How does Wieutenyant Cassio? -IAGO. Wives, siw. -D-DESDEMONyA. Cousin, t-thewe's *looks at you* faww'n between him and my wowd -An unkind bweech; but you shaww make aww weww. -OTHEWWO. Awe y-you suwe of t-that? -DESDEMONyA. My wowd? -OTHEWWO. [Weads.] "This faiw you nyot to do, as ;;w;; you wiww-" -WODOVICO. He *sighs* did nyot caww; he's busy in the xDD papew. -Is thewe division '-'twixt m-my wowd and *sighs* Cassio? -D-DESDEMONyA. A most unhappy onye. I-I wouwd d-do much -To atonye them, fow the wove I beaw to Cassio. -OTHEWWO. Fiwe and bwimstonye! -DESDEMONyA. My w-wowd? -OTHEWWO. Awe you wise? -D-DESDEMONyA. What, is *moans* he a-angwy? -W-WODOVICO. May ^.^ be t-the wettew moved him; -Fow, as I think, they ;;w;; do command h-him h-home, -Deputing Cassio i-in his govewnment. -DESDEMONyA. By *cries* my t-twoth, I-I am g-gwad on't. -*twerks* OTHEWWO. *shuffles closer* Indeed! -DESDEMONyA. My wowd? -OTHEWWO. *teleports behind you* I ^.^ am *cries* gwad to *leans over* see y-you mad. -;;w;; DESDEMONyA. Why, sweet xDD Othewwo? -:33 OTHEWWO. Deviw! Stwikes h-hew. -*shuffles closer* DESDEMONyA. I have nyot desewved this. -WODOVICO. My *screams* wowd, this wouwd nyot *leans over* be bewieved >w< in Venyice, -Though I shouwd sweaw I saw't. 'Tis v-vewy much. -Make h-hew amends; she *looks at you* weeps. -OTHEWWO. *twerks* O deviw, deviw! -If that the eawth couwd *looks away* teem with w-woman's teaws, -*twerks* Each dwop she fawws wouwd pwove a cwocodiwe. -Out o-of my sight! -*shuffles closer* DESDEMONyA. [-[Going.] I wiww nyot stay to offend you. -x3 WODOVICO. Twuwy, an obedient *teleports behind you* wady. -I do beseech youw wowdship, caww hew back. -uWu OTHEWWO. Mistwess! -DESDEMONyA. uWu My wowd? -OTHEWWO. W-What wouwd you with h-hew, s-siw? -W-WODOVICO. Who, I-I, my w-wowd? -OTHEWWO. Ay, y-you did wish that I w-wouwd make hew tuwn. -Siw, she can tuwn and tuwn, *hugs tightly* and yet go on, -And tuwn *teleports behind you* again; *pokes you* and she can w-weep, s-siw, ;;w;; weep; -And she's o-obedient, as you say, o-obedient, -Vewy obedient. Pwoceed *looks at you* you i-in youw *cuddles you* teaws. -Concewnying *shuffles closer* this, siw- O weww-painted passion!- -I am commanded home. Get you a-away; -I'ww send fow you anyon. Siw, I obey the mandate, -And wiww wetuwn *twerks* to *looks at you* Venyice. Hence, avaunt! -Exit Desdemonya. -Cassio shaww have my pwace. And, siw, tonyight, ->_< I do *cries* entweat that w-we *moans* may sup ^w^ togethew. -You a-awe w-wewcome, siw, to *looks at you* Cypwus. Goats and monkeys! -*sweats* Exit. -WODOVICO. Is this the nyobwe ^.^ Moow whom *teleports behind you* ouw fuww Senyate -Caww aww in aww s-sufficient? This the *sighs* nyatuwe -Whom OwO passion couwd nyot shake? whose sowid viwtue -The shot uWu of accident nyow >w< dawt of chance -C-Couwd nyeithew gwaze nyow piewce? -IAGO. He is much changed. -WODOVICO. Awe his wits safe? Is he nyot wight of bwain? -IAGO. He's that ^.^ he is. I may nyot b-bweathe my censuwe -What he m-might be: if w-what he might h-he is *leans over* nyot, -I wouwd to heaven h-he w-wewe! -WODOVICO. What, stwike his wife! -IAGO. Faith, *notices bulge* that was nyot so weww; yet wouwd I knyew -*leans over* That stwoke wouwd pwove the wowst! -WODOVICO. *cries* Is it his use? -O-Ow did the wettews wowk upon his bwood, -A-And nyew cweate this uWu fauwt? -IAGO. Awas, awas! -It is nyot honyesty in me to speak -What I have seen and knyown. You shaww obsewve him, -And h-his own couwses w-wiww denyote him so -That I *moans* may save my *moans* speech. Do but go aftew, -And mawk how h-he c-continyues. -^-^ WODOVICO. I-I am sowwy that I am deceived *sighs* in him. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -uWu A woom in the >w< castwe. - -*sighs* Entew Othewwo and Emiwia. - -OTHEWWO. Y-You have seen nyothing, *shuffles closer* then? -EMIWIA. Nyow evew heawd, nyow *looks at you* evew did suspect. -OTHEWWO. Yes, you have seen Cassio and she togethew. -EMIWIA. But then I saw >_> nyo *leans over* hawm, and then I heawd -Each sywwabwe that bweath made up UwU between them. -OTHEWWO. What, did they n-nyevew whispew? -EMIWIA. Nyevew, my wowd. -OTHEWWO. Nyow send y-you out o' the *screams* way? -EMIWIA. Nyevew. -OTHEWWO. To f-fetch hew fan, hew g-gwoves, hew mask, nyow nyothing? -EMIWIA. Nyevew, my wowd. -*moans* OTHEWWO. That's stwange. -EMIWIA. I duwst, my *looks at you* wowd, to wagew she is h-honyest, -Way d-down my souw at stake. If you OwO think othew, -Wemove youw thought; >w< it doth abuse youw bosom. -I-If any wwetch h-have put this i-in youw h-head, -Wet heaven wequite it with the sewpent's *sighs* cuwse! -Fow if she be nyot *screams* honyest, chaste, and x3 twue, -Thewe's nyo man happy; the puwest of theiw w-wives -Is *sighs* fouw as ^.^ swandew. -OTHEWWO. Bid xDD hew come hithew; go. Exit ^w^ Emiwia. -She s-says enyough; *twerks* yet she's >_< a simpwe bawd -That cannyot say as much. This is a subtwe whowe, -A cwoset wock >_> and key of viwwainyous secwets. -*shuffles closer* And *cuddles you* yet she'ww k-knyeew and pway; I-I have seen hew d-do't. - -*leans over* Entew Desdemonya with Emiwia. - -DESDEMONyA. My wowd, ^w^ what :3 is *looks at you* youw wiww? -OTHEWWO. Pway, chuck, come hithew. -DESDEMONyA. What is >_< youw pweasuwe? -OTHEWWO. *leans over* Wet m-me see *screams* youw eyes; -Wook in my face. -*leans over* DESDEMONyA. UwU What howwibwe xDD fancy's t-this? -OTHEWWO. [To Emiwia.] *twerks* Some of youw function, mistwess, -W-Weave *looks away* pwocweants awonye and shut t-the doow; -C-Cough, :3 ow c-cwy "hem," x3 if anybody come. -Youw mystewy, :3 youw mystewy; nyay, *teleports behind you* dispatch. E-Exit Emiwia. -D-DESDEMONyA. Upon my OwO knyees, UwU what doth youw speech impowt? -I undewstand a fuwy in youw wowds, -But *leans over* nyot the *sighs* wowds. -:33 OTHEWWO. Why, what *cuddles you* awt xDD thou? -DESDEMONyA. Youw *leans over* wife, my wowd, youw twue and woyaw w-wife. -OTHEWWO. Come, s-sweaw it, *shuffles closer* damn thysewf; -West, b-being *looks away* wike onye of heaven, the deviws themsewves -Shouwd ^w^ feaw to *cuddles you* seize thee. Thewefowe be doubwe-damn'd; -Sweaw thou awt h-honyest. -DESDEMONyA. Heaven doth twuwy k-knyow it. -OTHEWWO. Heaven t-twuwy knyows t-that *notices bulge* thou awt fawse as heww. -DESDEMONyA. To whom, my uWu wowd? *twerks* with whom? uWu how *sweats* am I fawse? -OTHEWWO. O Desdemonya! Away! away! away! -DESDEMONyA. *giggles shyly* Awas *pokes you* the heavy ^w^ day! W-Why *leans over* do y-you weep? -Am >_> I the motive of these teaws, my wowd? -If hapwy you my fathew xDD do suspect -An instwument of this youw cawwing back, -W-Way nyot youw bwame >_< on m-me. If you have wost him, -Why, I have wost him too. -OTHEWWO. *sweats* Had >_< it p-pweased heaven -To twy me with affwiction, had *shuffles closer* they wain'd -*leans over* Aww OwO kinds of sowes and shames *notices bulge* on *moans* my bawe head, -Steep'd me in povewty to the v-vewy wips, -Given to captivity me *looks away* and my utmost hopes, -I shouwd have found in some p-pwace of my s-souw -A dwop of patience; but, awas, to make me -A *notices bulge* fixed figuwe fow the time OwO of s-scown -To *sighs* point h-his swow ^-^ unmoving fingew at! -Yet couwd I beaw that OwO too, weww, UwU vewy weww; -But thewe, w-whewe I-I *shuffles closer* have ^w^ gawnyew'd up my heawt, -*blushes* Whewe eithew xDD I must wive ow beaw nyo w-wife; -The f-fountain fwom t-the which uWu my cuwwent uWu wuns, -O-Ow ewse dwies up; OwO to be discawded thence! -Ow keep it as a c-cistewn fow fouw toads -To knyot and gendew in! Tuwn thy uWu compwexion thewe, -Patience, thou young and wose-wipp'd chewubin, -*blushes* Ay, thewe, OwO wook gwim a-as heww! -DESDEMONyA. I hope my nyobwe wowd esteems me h-honyest. -:33 OTHEWWO. O, ay, a-as summew fwies awe in t-the shambwes, -T-That quicken e-even with b-bwowing. O thou w-weed, -Who awt s-so wovewy faiw and smeww'st so sweet -T-That the sense aches at *hugs tightly* thee, *blushes* wouwd thou hadst nye'ew been b-bown! -DESDEMONyA. Awas, what i-ignyowant sin have I committed? -OTHEWWO. Was this faiw papew, this m-most g-goodwy book, -Made to w-wwite "whowe" upon? W-What committed? -Committed? O thou *pokes you* pubwic c-commonyew! -I shouwd make vewy ^w^ fowges o-of my UwU cheeks, -That wouwd to cindews buwn u-up modesty, -Did I but speak thy deeds. What committed! -Heaven stops the nyose at it, and the moon winks; -The bawdy wind, that kisses aww it meets, -Is hush'd within the howwow minye of eawth, -And wiww n-nyot heaw it. What committed? -Impudent stwumpet! -DESDEMONyA. B-By *notices bulge* heaven, you do me wwong. -O-OTHEWWO. *leans over* Awe nyot you a stwumpet? ->w< DESDEMONyA. Nyo, as I-I am a Chwistian. -If to *sighs* pwesewve this v-vessew fow *shuffles closer* my *shuffles closer* wowd -Fwom any othew f-fouw u-unwawfuw touch -Be >w< nyot to be a stwumpet, I a-am nyonye. -O-OTHEWWO. What, ;;w;; nyot a whowe? -DESDEMONyA. Nyo, as I s-shaww be saved. -OTHEWWO. Is't possibwe? -DESDEMONyA. O-O, *moans* heaven fowgive us! -OTHEWWO. I-I cwy you mewcy then; -I t-took y-you f-fow that cunnying whowe of Venyice -That mawwied with Othewwo. [Waises his voice.] You, mistwess, -That have the office opposite t-to Saint Petew, -And *teleports behind you* keep the gate of heww! - -We-entew Emiwia. - -You, you, ay, :33 you! -We have donye o-ouw couwse; thewe's monyey fow ^w^ youw *twerks* pains. -I p-pway you, >_< tuwn *looks at you* the key, and ^w^ keep ouw counsew. E-Exit. -EMIWIA. *sweats* Awas, what does this gentweman conceive? -How do you, madam? How do you, my good wady? -DESDEMONyA. Faith, hawf asweep. -EMIWIA. G-Good madam, what's :33 the mattew w-with my w-wowd? -x3 DESDEMONyA. With who? -E-EMIWIA. Why, with my wowd, ;;w;; madam. -DESDEMONyA. Who is thy wowd? -EMIWIA. He that is y-youws, sweet w-wady. -DESDEMONyA. I have :3 nyonye. *twerks* Do *giggles shyly* nyot tawk to me, *looks at you* Emiwia; -I cannyot weep, nyow answew >_< have I nyonye -But what shouwd go b-by watew. OwO Pwithee, tonyight -Way on my bed *pokes you* my wedding sheets. Wemembew, -And caww thy husband hithew. -E-EMIWIA. *moans* Hewe's a change i-indeed! -E-Exit. -DESDEMONyA. 'Tis *hugs tightly* meet I-I *cries* shouwd be used so, vewy *teleports behind you* meet. -How have I been behaved, that he might stick -The smaww'st opinyion on my weast misuse? - -We-entew Emiwia with Iago. - -IAGO. What is youw pweasuwe, madam? How is't with you? -DESDEMONyA. *moans* I cannyot *screams* teww. T-Those t-that do teach young babes -Do i-it with gentwe means and easy tasks. -He might have *sweats* chid *notices bulge* me so, fow in good faith, -I am a chiwd to *leans over* chiding. -IAGO. What's the mattew, wady? -EMIWIA. Awas, Iago, my wowd hath so bewhowed hew, -Thwown such despite and heavy tewms upon *notices bulge* hew, -As twue heawts cannyot beaw. -DESDEMONyA. A-Am I that nyame, I-Iago? -IAGO. What nyame, *looks away* faiw wady? -DESDEMONyA. Such as she says my wowd ^.^ did s-say I was. -EMIWIA. He caww'd hew whowe; a beggaw in his xDD dwink -Couwd nyot have waid such tewms upon h-his cawwet. -IAGO. Why :33 did he *screams* so? -DESDEMONyA. I do nyot knyow; I am suwe I am nyonye such. -IAGO. Do nyot weep, d-do nyot w-weep. A-Awas the d-day! -*looks away* EMIWIA. Hath she fowsook so many nyobwe matches, -Hew fathew and hew countwy and hew fwiends, -To be caww'd whowe? Wouwd xDD it nyot m-make onye weep? -DESDEMONyA. *cries* It is ;;w;; my wwetched fowtunye. -IAGO. Beshwew him fow't! -*looks away* How comes this t-twick upon him? -DESDEMONyA. Nyay, heaven doth knyow. -^.^ EMIWIA. *moans* I wiww be h-hang'd, if some etewnyaw viwwain, -Some busy and insinyuating wogue, -Some cogging, cozenying swave, t-to get some *blushes* office, -Have nyot devised this *teleports behind you* swandew; I'ww be hang'd ewse. -IAGO. F-Fie, t-thewe is nyo such m-man; it is i-impossibwe. -:3 DESDEMONyA. If any such thewe be, heaven pawdon him! -EMIWIA. A hawtew pawdon him! And heww uWu gnyaw his bonyes! -Why shouwd h-he caww hew w-whowe? Who keeps hew company? -What xDD pwace? ^.^ What time? What fowm? What w-wikewihood? -The Moow's a-abused by some most viwwainyous knyave, -Some base n-nyotowious knyave, some scuwvy fewwow. -^-^ O h-heaven, that such c-companyions t-thou'wdst unfowd, -And p-put in evewy honyest hand a whip -*giggles shyly* To wash the xDD wascaws nyaked thwough OwO the *shuffles closer* wowwd -Even fwom the east to the west! -IAGO. Speak within d-doow. -EMIWIA. O, fie upon them! Some such squiwe he was -That tuwn'd youw wit *cuddles you* the seamy side w-without, -A-And m-made you to suspect me with the Moow. -IAGO. Y-You a-awe *looks at you* a foow; go to. -DESDEMONyA. O good Iago, -W-What shaww I do to win my wowd again? -Good fwiend, *leans over* go to h-him, f-fow by UwU this wight of heaven, -I knyow n-nyot how I-I wost him. Hewe I knyeew: -If e'ew OwO my ^.^ wiww did t-twespass 'gainst his wove -Eithew in discouwse of thought o-ow actuaw deed, -xDD Ow that m-minye e-eyes, minye eaws, ow any sense, -Dewighted them in a-any *shuffles closer* othew fowm, -Ow that I do ^.^ nyot yet, and evew >w< did, -And evew wiww, though he do >_< shake me off -To beggawwy *sighs* divowcement, wove him deawwy, -Comfowt f-fowsweaw me! Unkindnyess may do m-much, -*sweats* And his unkindnyess may UwU defeat my wife, -But nyevew taint my wove. I cannyot say "whowe." -It doth abhow me nyow I speak the wowd; -^.^ To do the act that might *cries* the a-addition e-eawn -Nyot the wowwd's mass of vanyity c-couwd make *pokes you* me. -IAGO. I pway you, be content; 'tis but h-his humow: -The *screams* businyess of the state does h-him *looks at you* offense, -And he d-does chide with you. -DESDEMONyA. I-If 'twewe nyo othew- -IAGO. '-'Tis but s-so, I wawwant. Twumpets within. -Hawk, how these instwuments summon to suppew! -*sighs* The messengews of Venyice stay the meat. -Go in, and weep *pokes you* nyot; aww things s-shaww be weww. -Exeunt D-Desdemonya and Emiwia. - -Entew *looks away* Wodewigo. - -H-How nyow, Wodewigo! -WODEWIGO. I do nyot find that thou x3 deawest justwy with me. -IAGO. W-What in the c-contwawy? -WODEWIGO. Evewy day thou daffest me *looks away* with s-some device, Iago; and -wathew, as it seems t-to me *sweats* nyow, keepest fwom me aww convenyiency -than suppwiest me with the w-weast advantage of hope. I wiww i-indeed -n-nyo wongew enduwe it; nyow am I-I yet pewsuaded to put up in peace -what awweady I-I have foowishwy suffewed. -IAGO. Wiww you heaw me, Wodewigo? -W-WODEWIGO. F-Faith, I have heawd t-too m-much, fow youw wowds and -p-pewfowmances awe nyo kin togethew. -IAGO. You chawge me m-most unjustwy. -WODEWIGO. With nyought *cuddles you* but twuth. I have wasted mysewf UwU out of my -means. The jewews you have *sighs* had fwom me to dewivew t-to Desdemonya -wouwd h-hawf *looks at you* have *cries* cowwupted a *notices bulge* votawist. Y-You have towd me she hath -w-weceived them and *looks away* wetuwnyed me expectations a-and comfowts o-of sudden -wespect and acquaintance; but I find n-nyonye. -IAGO. Weww, go to, vewy *cries* weww. -WODEWIGO. Vewy uWu weww! go to! I UwU cannyot go to, man; nyow 'tis :33 nyot xDD vewy -weww. B-By this OwO hand, ^.^ I say 'tis vewy scuwvy, a-and begin to find -mysewf fopped in it. -IAGO. Vewy OwO weww. -*pokes you* WODEWIGO. I teww you 'tis nyot vewy w-weww. *shuffles closer* I >_< wiww make mysewf *looks at you* knyown -to x3 Desdemonya. If she wiww wetuwn me my jewews, I wiww :3 give ovew -m-my suit and *cries* wepent my unwawfuw s-sowicitation; i-if nyot, assuwe -youwsewf I *blushes* wiww seek satisfaction of you. -IAGO. Y-You *blushes* have said *looks at you* nyow. -WODEWIGO. Ay, and said n-nyothing but w-what *screams* I pwotest intendment o-of -d-doing. -IAGO. Why, nyow I s-see thewe's mettwe i-in thee; and even f-fwom this -instant do buiwd on thee *cries* a bettew *shuffles closer* opinyion than evew befowe. Give -*shuffles closer* me thy hand, Wodewigo. Thou hast taken a-against me *twerks* a :3 most just -exception; but y-yet, ^-^ I pwotest, have deawt *sighs* most diwectwy in thy -affaiw. -WODEWIGO. It *sighs* hath nyot appeawed. -IAGO. I gwant indeed it hath nyot appeawed, a-and *looks away* youw s-suspicion is -nyot without w-wit and judgement. But, Wodewigo, if thou hast that -in *looks at you* thee indeed, uWu which I have gweatew >_< weason to bewieve nyow than -evew, I *screams* mean puwpose, couwage, UwU and vawow, this *cuddles you* nyight show it; if -thou the nyext nyight fowwowing enjoy nyot Desdemonya, take me fwom -this wowwd with tweachewy and devise enginyes fow m-my *shuffles closer* wife. -;;w;; WODEWIGO. :3 Weww, what is it? Is it within weason and compass? ->_< IAGO. S-Siw, thewe is e-especiaw commission *looks at you* come fwom Venyice t-to depute -C-Cassio in Othewwo's pwace. -WODEWIGO. Is that twue? Why then Othewwo and :3 Desdemonya wetuwn again -to Venyice. -IAGO. O, nyo; he *cuddles you* goes into Mauwitanyia, *blushes* and takes away with him the -*pokes you* faiw >_< Desdemonya, unwess his abode be wingewed hewe by some ->_< accident; whewein nyonye xDD can be so detewminyate as the wemoving o-of -Cassio. -W-WODEWIGO. How do you mean, wemoving of him? -IAGO. *hugs tightly* Why, by m-making him uncapabwe of O-Othewwo's pwace; ^-^ knyocking out -his bwains. -WODEWIGO. And that you wouwd have me to do? -^-^ IAGO. Ay, if you dawe do youwsewf a *sighs* pwofit and a *looks at you* wight. H-He s-sups -tonyight *leans over* with a hawwotwy, and thithew wiww I-I go to him. He knyows -nyot yet of his honyowabwe fowtunye. If y-you wiww watch his going -thence, which his wiww fashion *looks away* to faww out between twewve and -onye, you m-may take him at youw pweasuwe; I wiww be nyeaw to second -youw attempt, and he :33 shaww faww between us. Come, stand nyot -amazed at i-it, but go awong with m-me; *cries* I wiww show you such a -nyecessity in his *pokes you* death that you shaww think youwsewf bound t-to *looks away* put -it on him. It is uWu nyow high *cuddles you* suppew-time, *cuddles you* and *shuffles closer* the nyight >_> gwows to -waste. About it. -WODEWIGO. I wiww heaw fuwthew weason fow this. -IAGO. And you shaww be *blushes* satisfied. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE III. -Anyothew woom in the *cuddles you* castwe. - -Entew Othewwo, ^.^ Wodovico, Desdemonya, Emiwia, and Attendants. - -WODOVICO. I do beseech you, siw, t-twoubwe youwsewf nyo f-fuwthew. -OTHEWWO. O, pawdon me; 'twiww do me good to wawk. -WODOVICO. Madam, good nyight; I humbwy thank youw wadyship. -DESDEMONyA. Youw honyow *notices bulge* is most wewcome. -OTHEWWO. Wiww you xDD wawk, *notices bulge* siw? -O- Desdemonya- -DESDEMONyA. My wowd? -OTHEWWO. Get you to bed on the instant; I wiww be wetuwnyed -fowthwith. D-Dismiss youw a-attendant thewe; w-wook it be donye. -DESDEMONyA. I w-wiww, my wowd. -Exeunt Othewwo, Wodovico, and Attendants. -EMIWIA. H-How *notices bulge* goes *cries* it nyow? He wooks gentwew t-than he did. -DESDEMONyA. :33 He says he wiww wetuwn UwU incontinyent. -He *screams* hath commanded me to go to x3 bed, -A-And bade *cuddles you* me to dismiss you. -*looks at you* EMIWIA. Dismiss me? -*moans* DESDEMONyA. It w-was his b-bidding; thewefowe, good Emiwia, -*looks away* Give m-me my nyightwy weawing, and adieu. -*shuffles closer* We must OwO nyot nyow dispwease him. -EMIWIA. I wouwd you had nyevew seen him! -DESDEMONyA. So *sighs* wouwd nyot I-I. My wove doth s-so appwove him, -That e-even h-his stubbownnyess, *blushes* his checks, *sweats* his fwowns- -Pwithee, unpin *sighs* me- have gwace and favow in t-them. -EMIWIA. I have waid those sheets you bade me on *pokes you* the bed. -DESDEMONyA. Aww's onye. Good f-faith, how *giggles shyly* foowish awe ouw minds! -If I d-do die befowe t-thee, pwithee shwoud me -In o-onye of those same sheets. -EMIWIA. Come, come, you tawk. -DESDEMONyA. My mothew had a maid caww'd Bawbawy; -She was in wove, and he she woved pwoved mad -And did *notices bulge* fowsake h-hew. She OwO had a-a song of ^w^ "wiwwow"; -An owd thing 'twas, but it expwess'd hew fowtunye, -And s-she uWu died singing it. That s-song tonyight -W-Wiww nyot go fwom my mind; I have much t-to d-do -But to go h-hang my h-head aww at onye s-side -And sing i-it w-wike p-poow uWu Bawbawy. Pwithee, d-dispatch. -EMIWIA. Shaww I go fetch *cuddles you* youw nyightgown? -DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; Nyo, unpin me h-hewe. -This W-Wodovico i-is a pwopew man. -*sighs* EMIWIA. ^.^ A vewy handsome m-man. -DESDEMONyA. He speaks weww. -EMIWIA. I knyow a wady in Venyice *screams* wouwd have wawked bawefoot to -Pawestinye fow *twerks* a touch of his *hugs tightly* nyethew wip. -D-DESDEMONyA. [-[Sings.] - -"The poow souw sat sighing b-by ;;w;; a sycamowe twee, -Sing aww a gween wiwwow; -Hew hand on h-hew :3 bosom, hew head on hew knyee, -Sing wiwwow, *shuffles closer* wiwwow, wiwwow. -T-The fwesh stweams wan by hew, and muwmuw'd hew moans, -Sing wiwwow, wiwwow, xDD wiwwow; -Hew s-sawt teaws feww fwom hew, and :33 soften'd ;;w;; the stonyes-" - -W-Way be these- - -[Sings.] "Sing wiwwow, wiwwow, wiwwow-" - -Pwithee, hie thee; *blushes* he'ww come a-anyon- -[Sings.] *notices bulge* "Sing aww a gween wiwwow must be my gawwand. -Wet nyobody bwame him; h-his scown I-I appwove-" - -Nyay, *notices bulge* that's n-nyot nyext. Hawk, who is't that knyocks? -*screams* EMIWIA. It's the ^w^ wind. -D-DESDEMONyA. [Sings.] - -*twerks* "I *twerks* caww'd my wove fawse wove; but what said he then? -Sing wiwwow, wiwwow, w-wiwwow. -If I couwt moe women, you'ww couch with moe *looks at you* men-" - -S-So UwU get thee gonye; good nyight. Minye e-eyes do itch; -Doth that bode weeping? -E-EMIWIA. 'Tis n-nyeithew hewe nyow thewe. -D-DESDEMONyA. I have h-heawd it said so. O, ;;w;; these x3 men, these men! -Dost *sweats* thou >w< in conscience think- teww me, Emiwia- -That t-thewe b-be women do abuse theiw husbands -I-In such gwoss kind? -E-EMIWIA. Thewe be some such, nyo question. -*giggles shyly* DESDEMONyA. Wouwdst thou do such a d-deed fow aww the wowwd? -uWu EMIWIA. Why, wouwd nyot you? ->w< DESDEMONyA. Nyo, b-by this heavenwy wight! -EMIWIA. Nyow :33 I nyeithew by this heavenwy w-wight; I m-might do't x3 as weww -i' the *notices bulge* dawk. -D-DESDEMONyA. Wouwdst t-thou do such a-a deed fow aww t-the wowwd? -EMIWIA. T-The wowwd's a huge thing; it is a gweat pwice -Fow a smaww vice. -DESDEMONyA. In twoth, I-I think thou *cuddles you* wouwdst nyot. -uWu EMIWIA. In t-twoth, I >_< think *twerks* I *sighs* shouwd, and undo't when I had donye. -Mawwy, I wouwd *giggles shyly* nyot ^-^ do such a-a thing fow a joint-wing, n-nyow *blushes* fow -measuwes *moans* of *notices bulge* wawn, nyow fow gowns, ^w^ petticoats, nyow caps, :33 nyow any -petty exhibition; but, fow the whowe wowwd- why, who wouwd nyot -make ^-^ hew ^-^ husband a cuckowd to make *cries* him a monyawch? I shouwd -ventuwe puwgatowy fow't. ->_< DESDEMONyA. Beshwew me, if I-I w-wouwd do such ^.^ a OwO wwong -Fow the w-whowe wowwd. -E-EMIWIA. Why, the wwong is but a wwong i' t-the wowwd; and having the -w-wowwd >_< fow youw :33 wabow, 'tis a wwong i-in youw own uWu wowwd, and you -might *cries* quickwy make i-it *sighs* wight. -DESDEMONyA. I do nyot think thewe is any such woman. -E-EMIWIA. Yes, a dozen, and as many to the vantage as *cuddles you* wouwd stowe the -wowwd they >w< pwayed fow. -But I do t-think it UwU is theiw husbands' fauwts -I-If wives *twerks* do faww; say that they swack theiw duties -*screams* And :33 pouw ouw tweasuwes into *sighs* foweign waps, -Ow ewse bweak out i-in peevish jeawousies, -Thwowing westwaint upon u-us, ow say they stwike *pokes you* us, -:3 Ow scant o-ouw fowmew having in despite, -Why, we have gawws, a-and *notices bulge* though we have some gwace, -Yet have w-we some w-wevenge. Wet husbands knyow -Theiw wives have sense wike them; they see and smeww -And have theiw pawates both fow sweet and s-souw, -As *teleports behind you* husbands h-have. What ^-^ is >_> it t-that they do -When they change us fow o-othews? Is *giggles shyly* it spowt? -uWu I think it is. And doth affection bweed it? -I-I think it doth. Is't fwaiwty t-that t-thus ewws? -It is so too. And have nyot we affections, -Desiwes fow spowt, and fwaiwty, *blushes* as men have? -Then wet them u-use u-us weww; ewse wet *sweats* them k-knyow, -The iwws we do, theiw *blushes* iwws instwuct us so. -DESDEMONyA. Good nyight, good nyight. Heaven me such uses send, -Nyot to pick b-bad fwom b-bad, but by bad mend! Exeunt. - - - - -<w< USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION *sweats* INCWUDES *moans* BY ANY -SEWVICE *blushes* THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -Cypwus. A *cries* stweet. - -E-Entew *looks away* Iago a-and W-Wodewigo: - -IAGO. *moans* Hewe, stand *shuffles closer* behind this buwk; stwaight wiww he come. -Weaw thy *cries* good wapiew bawe, and put it h-home. -Quick, quick; *teleports behind you* feaw nyothing; I'ww be at t-thy ewbow. -It makes us, ow it maws us; t-think on x3 that, -And fix most fiwm thy wesowution. -WODEWIGO. Be nyeaw at hand; I *looks away* may *sighs* miscawwy in't. -IAGO. Hewe, ^-^ at t-thy hand, be bowd, and take *cuddles you* thy stand. ->_> Wetiwes. -WODEWIGO. I have *looks at you* nyo gweat d-devotion to the d-deed; -*cries* And x3 yet he hath given me satisfying weasons. -*notices bulge* 'Tis *cries* but a man gonye. F-Fowth, my swowd; h-he *notices bulge* dies. -I-IAGO. I have wubb'd *moans* this young *sweats* quat awmost to *blushes* the *screams* sense, -And *moans* he gwows angwy. Nyow, w-whethew h-he kiww Cassio, -Ow C-Cassio him, ow each do kiww the othew, -Evewy way makes ;;w;; my gain. Wive Wodewigo, -*cuddles you* He cawws me to a *giggles shyly* westitution wawge -Of *shuffles closer* gowd and jewews ^.^ that *screams* I bobb'd fwom him, -As gifts to Desdemonya; -It must nyot >w< be. If Cassio do wemain, -He h-hath a-a d-daiwy OwO beauty in his uWu wife -:33 That makes me ugwy; a-and besides, the Moow -M-May unfowd me to *teleports behind you* him; thewe stand I in *giggles shyly* much pewiw. -Nyo, h-he must die. Be't so. *sweats* I heaw him coming. - -*screams* Entew Cassio. - -*giggles shyly* WODEWIGO. I *pokes you* knyow his gait; 'tis he. Viwwain, thou diest! -M-Makes a pass a-at Cassio. -CASSIO. That *pokes you* thwust had been *cuddles you* minye enyemy i-indeed, -But *pokes you* that >w< my coat is bettew than thou knyow'st; -I wiww make :33 pwoof of thinye. Dwaws, and wounds uWu Wodewigo. -WODEWIGO. O, I am s-swain! -I-Iago fwom b-behind wounds :33 Cassio in the weg, a-and exit. -CASSIO. I am maim'd fowevew. Hewp, ^w^ ho! Muwthew! Muwthew! -*notices bulge* Fawws. - -Entew Othewwo. - -OTHEWWO. *blushes* The voice of Cassio; Iago keeps his wowd. -WODEWIGO. O-O, viwwain t-that I *pokes you* am! -O-OTHEWWO. It is even s-so. -C-CASSIO. O, *shuffles closer* hewp, *hugs tightly* ho! Wight! A suwgeon! -OTHEWWO. 'Tis h-he. O bwave Iago, honyest and just, -That hast such nyobwe sense of thy f-fwiend's wwong! -Thou teachest me. Minyion, y-youw deaw wies dead, -And youw unbwest xDD fate h-hies. Stwumpet, I come! -Fowth of my >w< heawt t-those chawms, thinye eyes, awe bwotted; -T-Thy bed wust-stain'd s-shaww with w-wust's bwood be spotted. -Exit. - -Entew Wodovico a-and Gwatianyo. - -CASSIO. What, ho! Nyo watch? Nyo *screams* passage? M-Muwthew! Muwthew! -GWATIANyO. *giggles shyly* 'Tis some m-mischance; the cwy is vewy diwefuw. -C-CASSIO. O, hewp! -WODOVICO. Hawk! -WODEWIGO. O wwetched ;;w;; viwwain! -WODOVICO. Two ow thwee gwoan; it is *cries* a heavy nyight. -These may be countewfeits; wet's think't u-unsafe -To come in to the cwy without mowe hewp. -WODEWIGO. Nyobody *hugs tightly* come? Then shaww I bweed to ;;w;; death. -WODOVICO. *sweats* Hawk! - -We-entew Iago, with >_> a wight. - -GWATIANyO. Hewe's onye comes in UwU his shiwt, with wight and weapons. -*giggles shyly* IAGO. ;;w;; Who's t-thewe? W-Whose *cuddles you* nyoise is this t-that cwies on muwthew? -WODOVICO. We do nyot knyow. -IAGO. Did nyot you heaw a cwy? -C-CASSIO. Hewe, hewe! f-fow heaven's sake, hewp me! -IAGO. W-What's the mattew? -GWATIANyO. *shuffles closer* This is Othewwo's ancient, as I take it. -WODOVICO. The s-same indeed; a vewy vawiant fewwow. -I-IAGO. What awe you hewe that cwy >_> so *leans over* gwievouswy? -CASSIO. Iago? O-O, I am spoiw'd, undonye by viwwains! -G-Give m-me some *looks at you* hewp. -IAGO. O me, wieutenyant! What viwwains have donye this? -CASSIO. *twerks* I think *pokes you* that onye o-of them *cuddles you* is heweabout, -And cannyot make away. -IAGO. O tweachewous viwwains! -[To Wodovico and G-Gwatianyo.] What awe you thewe? -*pokes you* Come in *blushes* and give some hewp. -WODEWIGO. O, hewp me ;;w;; hewe! -CASSIO. That's onye of *shuffles closer* them. -I-IAGO. O muwthewous *sweats* swave! O *hugs tightly* viwwain! -Stabs Wodewigo. -W-WODEWIGO. O damn'd Iago! O inhuman dog! -I-IAGO. *hugs tightly* Kiww men i' the dawk! Whewe be these bwoody thieves? -*notices bulge* How siwent is this town! Ho! Muwthew! Muwthew! -What may you uWu be? Awe you of g-good ow eviw? -W-WODOVICO. As you shaww pwove us, pwaise us. -IAGO. Signyiow Wodovico? -WODOVICO. >_< He, siw. -IAGO. I-I cwy you *leans over* mewcy. Hewe's C-Cassio >_> huwt by *sighs* viwwains. -*pokes you* GWATIANyO. Cassio? -IAGO. H-How is't, bwothew? -CASSIO. My weg is cut in two. -IAGO. Mawwy, heaven fowbid! -W-Wight, gentwemen; I'ww bind it OwO with my shiwt. - -Entew Bianca. - -BIANCA. >_> What is uWu the mattew, ho? Who is't that ^w^ cwied? -IAGO. Who OwO is't that cwied? -x3 BIANCA. O my deaw Cassio, my >w< sweet C-Cassio! O Cassio, Cassio, -Cassio! -I-IAGO. O nyotabwe stwumpet! Cassio, xDD may you suspect -Who they shouwd be t-that have thus mangwed you? -CASSIO. Nyo. -GWATIANyO. I :33 am s-sowwy to find you thus; I-I have been to seek you. -*looks away* IAGO. Wend *cries* me a gawtew. S-So. O, fow a chaiw, -To beaw him easiwy hence! -BIANCA. A-Awas, x3 he faints! O Cassio, Cassio, Cassio! -I-IAGO. Gentwemen aww, I do suspect this twash -To be a p-pawty in this i-injuwy. -Patience awhiwe, g-good *sighs* Cassio. Come, >w< come; -Wend me a w-wight. *twerks* Knyow we this face o-ow ^.^ nyo? -^-^ Awas, my fwiend *shuffles closer* and my deaw countwyman -Wodewigo? Nyo- yes, suwe. O heaven! Wodewigo. -GWATIANyO. What, UwU of *moans* Venyice? -IAGO. Even uWu he, siw. Did you knyow him? -*shuffles closer* GWATIANyO. Knyow him! ay. -xDD IAGO. *sighs* Signyiow Gwatianyo? I cwy you gentwe pawdon; -These bwoody accidents must excuse my mannyews, -*blushes* That so nyegwected you. -GWATIANyO. I am gwad to s-see *screams* you. -IAGO. How do you, *notices bulge* Cassio? O, a :33 chaiw, a chaiw! -OwO GWATIANyO. Wodewigo! -I-IAGO. He, he, ^.^ 'tis he. [A *hugs tightly* chaiw bwought in.] O, that's weww said: -the chaiw. -Some good man beaw him cawefuwwy fwom hence; -I'ww fetch the genyewaw's suwgeon. [To Bianca.] Fow you, mistwess, -Save you youw wabow. H-He that wies swain hewe, Cassio, -*giggles shyly* Was m-my deaw *looks away* fwiend; what mawice was between you? -*screams* CASSIO. Nyonye in the wowwd; nyow do I knyow the man. -xDD IAGO. [To Bianca.] What, wook you pawe? O, beaw *giggles shyly* him out o' the aiw. -OwO Cassio and W-Wodewigo *blushes* awe bownye off. -Stay you, good gentwemen. Wook you pawe, mistwess? -Do you *looks away* pewceive the g-gastnyess of hew eye? -Nyay, if you stawe, w-we s-shaww *looks away* heaw mowe anyon. -Behowd hew weww; I pway you, wook upon hew. -Do you see, gentwemen? N-Nyay, guiwtinyess wiww speak, -Though t-tongues w-wewe out of use. - -Entew *teleports behind you* Emiwia. - -EMIWIA. 'Was, what's the *leans over* mattew? What's the mattew, husband? -IAGO. Cassio hath ^.^ hewe been set on in the d-dawk -:33 By *looks away* Wodewigo, and fewwows that awe 'scaped; -*sighs* He's :33 awmost s-swain, and Wodewigo dead. -EMIWIA. Awas, good gentweman! awas, *shuffles closer* good Cassio! -*notices bulge* IAGO. This *twerks* is the f-fwuit o-of whowing. Pwithee, Emiwia, -Go knyow of Cassio whewe *leans over* he supp'd tonyight. -:33 What, do you *screams* shake at that? -BIANCA. He supp'd *sighs* at my house; but I thewefowe shake n-nyot. -I-IAGO. O, ^-^ did he so? I-I chawge you, go with m-me. -EMIWIA. Fie, >_< fie upon >_< thee, stwumpet! -BIANCA. I am n-nyo stwumpet, OwO but of wife as honyest -As y-you that thus abuse me. -EMIWIA. As I! foh! >_< fie upon *leans over* thee! -IAGO. Kind g-gentwemen, wet's go see p-poow Cassio dwess'd. -*pokes you* Come, mistwess, you must teww's anyothew tawe. -Emiwia, wun you t-to the citadew, -A-And teww my wowd and *cries* wady *twerks* what h-hath h-happ'd! -Wiww you go on? *teleports behind you* [Aside.] This i-is *notices bulge* the nyight -T-That eithew m-makes me ow fowdoes *looks away* me quite. Exeunt. - - - - -SCENyE II. -A *screams* bedchambew in the castwe. Desdemonya in :33 bed a-asweep; a wight buwnying. - -Entew Othewwo. - -OTHEWWO. It is the cause, UwU it is the cause, uWu my souw. -Wet m-me nyot nyame it to you, *hugs tightly* you chaste s-staws! -It is the c-cause. Yet I'ww nyot shed hew UwU bwood, -Nyow scaw that UwU whitew skin of hews >_> than snyow -And ^w^ smooth a-as monyumentaw awabastew. -Yet she must die, ewse she'ww betway mowe men. -*pokes you* Put o-out the *looks at you* wight, and then put *hugs tightly* out the wight. -If *sighs* I quench thee, thou fwaming minyistew, -I can again *sighs* thy fowmew w-wight westowe, -Shouwd I wepent m-me; but once put out thy *moans* wight, -Thou cunnying'st pattewn of excewwing nyatuwe, -I k-knyow n-nyot *looks away* whewe is that Pwomethean h-heat -^w^ That *shuffles closer* can thy wight wewume. When I ^w^ have pwuck'd t-the *blushes* wose, -I :3 cannyot give *cuddles you* it vitaw gwowth again, -It m-must UwU nyeeds w-withew; I'ww s-smeww i-it on the twee. Kisses hew. -O, bawmy bweath, that dost awmost pewsuade -J-Justice to bweak :3 hew swowd! Onye mowe, ^-^ onye mowe; -Be thus when thou *sighs* awt dead, *sighs* and I wiww kiww thee, -A-And wove t-thee a-aftew. Onye :33 mowe, a-and *blushes* this the wast; -So s-sweet was nye'ew so *sweats* fataw. I must *blushes* weep, -But they a-awe cwuew teaws; *moans* this s-sowwow's heavenwy, -It stwikes whewe it doth wove. She wakes. -D-DESDEMONyA. Who's thewe? uWu Othewwo? -OTHEWWO. Ay, Desdemonya. -DESDEMONyA. Wiww you come to bed, *screams* my wowd? -OTHEWWO. Have you pway'd tonyight, Desdemonya? -DESDEMONyA. Ay, m-my wowd. -OTHEWWO. If y-you ^w^ bethink youwsewf of any cwime -Unweconciwed as yet to h-heaven a-and g-gwace, -Sowicit fow it stwaight. -DESDEMONyA. Awas, my *cries* wowd, what may you m-mean by that? -OTHEWWO. *cries* Weww, *notices bulge* do it, and be bwief; UwU I wiww wawk by. -I wouwd nyot k-kiww thy unpwepawed spiwit. -Nyo, heaven fowfend! I wouwd *screams* nyot kiww thy souw. -DESDEMONyA. Tawk you of *leans over* kiwwing? -OTHEWWO. Ay, I do. -DESDEMONyA. *looks away* Then h-heaven have *moans* mewcy on me! -OTHEWWO. Amen, with a-aww my heawt! -DESDEMONyA. If you say so, I >_> hope y-you wiww nyot kiww me. -OTHEWWO. Hum! -DESDEMONyA. And yet I feaw you, fow you awe f-fataw then -When youw eyes woww so. Why I shouwd feaw I knyow nyot, -S-Since guiwtinyess I ;;w;; knyow *sweats* nyot; but y-yet I-I feew :33 I feaw. -OTHEWWO. T-Think on thy sins. -DESDEMONyA. They awe woves I beaw to you. -OTHEWWO. Ay, and fow that thou diest. -DESDEMONyA. T-That *shuffles closer* death's u-unnyatuwaw that kiwws fow woving. -Awas, why *sweats* gnyaw you s-so youw nyethew wip? -Some bwoody passion shakes y-youw v-vewy fwame. -T-These awe powtents; but yet I-I hope, I hope, -They do nyot point on me. -;;w;; OTHEWWO. Peace, and *sighs* be stiww! -DESDEMONyA. OwO I wiww xDD so. What's t-the mattew? -O-OTHEWWO. That handkewchief which I *leans over* so woved and gave thee -Thou gavest to Cassio. -DESDEMONyA. Nyo, by my wife and souw! -Send fow the man, and ask him. -OTHEWWO. Sweet ;;w;; souw, take heed, -Take heed of pewjuwy; thou awe on thy *shuffles closer* deathbed. -DESDEMONyA. Ay, but nyot yet t-to die. -OTHEWWO. *blushes* Yes, *screams* pwesentwy: -Thewefowe confess ;;w;; thee fweewy of t-thy sin, -Fow to deny each awticwe with oath -Cannyot w-wemove nyow choke the stwong conception -That *looks away* I do gwoan w-withaw. Thou awt to *sweats* die. -DESDEMONyA. Then Wowd h-have *moans* mewcy on me! -OTHEWWO. *sweats* I say, amen. -DESDEMONyA. And *screams* have you mewcy too! >_< I nyevew did -Offend you in my *pokes you* wife; nyevew woved Cassio -But with such g-genyewaw *shuffles closer* wawwanty of heaven -As I might wove. I n-nyevew gave him token. -OTHEWWO. By heaven, I saw my handkewchief in 's hand. -*screams* O pewjuwed woman! Thou dost stonye my heawt, -A-And *moans* makest me caww w-what I ^.^ intend to ^-^ do -A muwthew, which I thought a *shuffles closer* sacwifice. -I saw the handkewchief. -DESDEMONyA. He found it then; -I n-nyevew gave it him. *pokes you* Send fow him hithew; -Wet h-him confess a twuth. -OTHEWWO. He hath confess'd. -DESDEMONyA. x3 What, my w-wowd? -O-OTHEWWO. That he hath used thee. -DESDEMONyA. How? *notices bulge* unwawfuwwy? -OTHEWWO. A-Ay. -DESDEMONyA. He wiww nyot *hugs tightly* say so. -OTHEWWO. Nyo, his ^-^ mouth is stopp'd; -Honyest Iago hath ta'en owdew fow't. -DESDEMONyA. O, my feaw intewpwets! What, is he x3 dead? -xDD OTHEWWO. Had aww h-his haiws been UwU wives, my gweat ^.^ wevenge -Had stomach fow *sweats* them aww. -DESDEMONyA. A-Awas, >_< he is betway'd, and I undonye! -OTHEWWO. Out, stwumpet! Weep'st thou fow him to my face? -^.^ DESDEMONyA. O, banyish me, my wowd, *looks away* but kiww me n-nyot! -OTHEWWO. Down, stwumpet! -DESDEMONyA. Kiww me xDD tomowwow; wet me wive tonyight! -OTHEWWO. Nyay, if you stwive- -*cries* DESDEMONyA. But hawf an houw! -O-OTHEWWO. Being donye, thewe i-is nyo *cuddles you* pause. -DESDEMONyA. But w-whiwe *screams* I say o-onye pwayew! -OTHEWWO. *looks at you* It i-is too wate. He stifwes hew. -EMIWIA. [-[Within.] :3 My wowd, my wowd! What, ^w^ ho! my wowd, my wowd! -OTHEWWO. What nyoise is this? Nyot dead? nyot yet xDD quite dead? -I that am cwuew a-am ^-^ yet mewcifuw; -*looks at you* I wouwd nyot h-have thee wingew i-in t-thy pain. -So, so. -EMIWIA. [Within.] What, ho! my wowd, my wowd! -OTHEWWO. Who's thewe? -EMIWIA. [Within.] O, good my w-wowd, I wouwd speak a wowd with *sweats* you! -O-OTHEWWO. Yes, 'tis E-Emiwia. By and by. *giggles shyly* She's dead. -'Tis wike s-she comes *leans over* to speak *pokes you* of Cassio's death. -The nyoise was uWu hewe. ^-^ Ha! nyo mowe moving? -Stiww a-as the gwave. S-Shaww she c-come i-in? wewe't good? -I think she stiws again. N-Nyo. What's *looks away* best to do? -If she come in, she'ww *looks at you* suwe speak t-to my wife. -My wife! M-My wife! What wife? ^.^ I have nyo w-wife. -O, insuppowtabwe! O heavy *twerks* houw! -Methinks it shouwd ^w^ be nyow a-a huge ecwipse -Of sun :3 and moon, and that t-the affwighted gwobe -Shouwd yawn at awtewation. -*blushes* EMIWIA. [Within.] I do beseech y-you -That I may speak with you, O-O, good my wowd! -OTHEWWO. I had fowgot thee. O, come in, Emiwia. -Soft, by a-and by. W-Wet me *twerks* the cuwtains dwaw. -*pokes you* Whewe *screams* awt thou? Unwocks the doow. - -Entew Emiwia. - -What's the mattew with thee nyow? -EMIWIA. O, my good wowd, *giggles shyly* yondew's fouw *screams* muwthews d-donye! -*moans* OTHEWWO. What, nyow? -EMIWIA. But nyow, my w-wowd. -OTHEWWO. *teleports behind you* It uWu is :3 the vewy e-ewwow of the *blushes* moon; -^.^ She comes mowe nyeawew UwU eawth than she *shuffles closer* was wont -And makes m-men mad. -EMIWIA. Cassio, *shuffles closer* my *cuddles you* wowd, ;;w;; hath kiww'd a young *teleports behind you* Venyetian -Caww'd Wodewigo. -OTHEWWO. Wodewigo :33 kiww'd? -And Cassio kiww'd? -EMIWIA. Nyo, Cassio is nyot k-kiww'd. -OTHEWWO. Nyot uWu Cassio kiww'd! Then muwthew's out of tunye, -And sweet *looks away* wevenge :33 gwows hawsh. -DESDEMONyA. O, fawsewy, fawsewy muwthew'd! -EMIWIA. Awas, what cwy is t-that? -UwU OTHEWWO. That? what? -EMIWIA. OwO Out, :3 and awas! That *moans* was xDD my w-wady's voice. -Hewp! hewp, ^-^ ho! hewp! O wady, speak again! -Sweet Desdemonya! O-O sweet mistwess, speak! -DESDEMONyA. A guiwtwess death I d-die. -*giggles shyly* EMIWIA. O, who hath donye this deed? -DESDEMONyA. *hugs tightly* Nyobody; I-I m-mysewf. Faweweww; -Commend me to my k-kind wowd. O, f-faweweww! *sighs* Dies. -OTHEWWO. Why, how shouwd she be m-muwthew'd? -*leans over* EMIWIA. Awas, who knyows? -OTHEWWO. You heawd hew say hewsewf, it ^-^ was nyot I. -EMIWIA. She said so; I must nyeeds wepowt ^.^ the twuth. -OTHEWWO. :3 She's wike a wiaw gonye to buwnying heww; -'Twas x3 I that kiww'd hew. -:33 EMIWIA. O-O, t-the mowe angew she, -And you the bwackew deviw! -*looks away* OTHEWWO. She tuwn'd *screams* to f-fowwy, and she was a whowe. -E-EMIWIA. Thou dost bewie hew, and thou awt a deviw. -OTHEWWO. She was fawse a-as watew. -E-EMIWIA. Thou awt w-wash as fiwe, *looks away* to say -That s-she was fawse. O, she was h-heavenwy twue! -OTHEWWO. Cassio did top hew; ask thy husband ewse. -*sweats* O, I w-wewe damn'd >_> benyeath a-aww depth in h-heww, -But that I >_> did *sweats* pwoceed upon just gwounds -To this extwemity. Thy h-husband knyew it *moans* aww. -EMIWIA. M-My husband? -OTHEWWO. Thy husband. -EMIWIA. That she was f-fawse to wedwock? -OTHEWWO. *notices bulge* Ay, *pokes you* with Cassio. Nyay, had she been twue, -^-^ If uWu heaven wouwd make me such a-anyothew wowwd ->_> Of onye *leans over* entiwe and pewfect *blushes* chwysowite, -I-I'wd n-nyot have sowd *sighs* hew fow it. -EMIWIA. My husband? -OTHEWWO. Ay, 'twas he that towd *notices bulge* me f-fiwst. -A-An honyest man h-he is, and ;;w;; hates the swime -That sticks *looks away* on fiwthy deeds. -EMIWIA. My h-husband? -OTHEWWO. What nyeeds this itewation, woman? *looks away* I say thy husband. -*moans* EMIWIA. O mistwess, viwwainy hath made mocks with wove! -My husband say that *cuddles you* she w-was fawse! -O-OTHEWWO. H-He, woman; -I say x3 thy husband. Dost u-undewstand the *cries* wowd? -My fwiend, thy husband, honyest, honyest ^.^ Iago. -EMIWIA. If he s-say UwU so, may his p-pewnyicious souw -Wot hawf xDD a gwain a day! H-He wies to the heawt. -She was too fond of hew m-most f-fiwthy bawgain. -OTHEWWO. Ha! -EMIWIA. Do thy wowst; -This deed of t-thinye is nyo m-mowe wowthy heaven -Than thou wast wowthy hew. -O-OTHEWWO. Peace, you wewe best. -*cries* EMIWIA. Thou hast n-nyot hawf that powew to do me hawm -As I have *cuddles you* to be huwt. O guww! O ;;w;; dowt! -As ignyowant as diwt! *looks away* Thou hast donye a d-deed- -I cawe n-nyot fow t-thy s-swowd; I'ww make thee knyown, -Though I wost twenty wives. Hewp! hewp, ho! hewp! -The Moow hath kiww'd my mistwess! OwO Muwthew, muwthew! - -x3 Entew Montanyo, Gwatianyo, ^w^ Iago, OwO and othews. - -MONTANyO. What is :33 the mattew? >w< How nyow, genyewaw? -EMIWIA. O, awe you come, Iago? You have donye weww, -*leans over* That men must w-way t-theiw muwthews *leans over* on *moans* youw nyeck. -GWATIANyO. What is the mattew? -EMIWIA. Dispwove this viwwain, if thou be'st a m-man. -He says thou towd'st *notices bulge* him t-that his *sweats* wife was fawse; -I *teleports behind you* knyow thou didst n-nyot, thou'wt *pokes you* nyot s-such a viwwain. -Speak, fow my heawt is fuww. -IAGO. I towd him what I-I t-thought, and towd nyo *moans* mowe -Than what he found himsewf was apt and twue. -*cries* EMIWIA. But did you evew teww him she was fawse? -*sweats* IAGO. I did. -EMIWIA. You towd *moans* a *cries* wie, an odious, damnyed w-wie; -Upon m-my souw, a wie, a wicked wie! -She fawse with Cassio? Did you say w-with C-Cassio? -IAGO. W-With Cassio, mistwess. Go to, chawm youw tongue. -EMIWIA. >_> I wiww nyot chawm my tongue; I am bound to speak. -M-My m-mistwess hewe wies muwthew'd in hew x3 bed- -AWW. *screams* O *twerks* heavens fowfend! -EMIWIA. A-And youw wepowts *cuddles you* have set *shuffles closer* the muwthew >_< on. -uWu OTHEWWO. xDD Nyay, stawe nyot, mastews; it *blushes* is twue indeed. -GWATIANyO. 'Tis a stwange twuth. ->_< MONTANyO. O monstwous act! -E-EMIWIA. Viwwainy, v-viwwainy, viwwainy! -I ^w^ think u-upon't, I t-think, I smeww't, O v-viwwainy! -I thought UwU so then. I'ww kiww mysewf fow g-gwief. -O viwwainy, viwwainy! ->_> IAGO. What, awe y-you mad? I-I chawge you, get you home. -EMIWIA. Good gentwemen, wet me OwO have weave to speak; -'Tis pwopew I obey him, but nyot nyow. -Pewchance, Iago, I wiww nye'ew go home. -*cuddles you* OTHEWWO. O! O! ^w^ O! Fawws on t-the bed. -EMIWIA. Nyay, way thee down and woaw; -Fow thou *hugs tightly* hast ;;w;; kiww'd the *leans over* sweetest innyocent -That e'ew did wift up eye. -:33 OTHEWWO. [Wises.] O-O, she was *teleports behind you* fouw! -I scawce *looks away* did knyow y-you, uncwe; thewe wies youw nyiece, -Whose bweath indeed these hands *screams* have nyewwy stopp'd. -I knyow this act s-shows *hugs tightly* howwibwe *shuffles closer* and *looks away* gwim. -G-GWATIANyO. Poow *notices bulge* Desdemon! I am gwad OwO thy fathew's dead. -*sighs* Thy m-match was mowtaw to him, a-and >_< puwe gwief -Showe his owd thwead in twain; *shuffles closer* did he wive nyow, -This sight wouwd make him do a despewate tuwn, -Yea, cuwse h-his *sweats* bettew angew f-fwom his :3 side, -And faww to wepwobation. -OTHEWWO. 'Tis pitifuw, but yet Iago knyows -That she with C-Cassio hath t-the act *looks away* of >w< shame -A thousand times committed. Cassio confess'd it, -And she :3 did gwatify his amowous wowks -With that wecognyizance *looks at you* and pwedge of wove ->w< Which I *sweats* fiwst *screams* gave hew. I saw *cuddles you* it in his hand, -It was a handkewchief, *twerks* an antique t-token -My fathew gave my mothew. -E-EMIWIA. O heaven! O heavenwy ^w^ powews! -IAGO. 'Zounds! Howd youw peace. -EMIWIA. '-'Twiww o-out, 'twiww. I peace? -*looks at you* Nyo, I w-wiww speak *cries* as wibewaw as the nyowth; -*moans* Wet heaven and men and d-deviws, wet them aww, -Aww, aww, cwy s-shame *notices bulge* against me, yet I'ww speak. -IAGO. Be wise, and :33 get you home. -E-EMIWIA. I *cuddles you* wiww nyot. -Iago offews to stab Emiwia. -*leans over* GWATIANyO. Fie! -Youw s-swowd upon a *cries* woman? -EMIWIA. O-O thou duww Moow! That handkewchief OwO thou speak'st of -I-I found by fowtunye a-and *cries* did give m-my husband, -Fow often with a *blushes* sowemn eawnyestnyess, -Mowe than indeed *looks at you* bewong'd to such a twifwe, -He begg'd ^-^ of me to steaw it. -I-IAGO. Viwwainyous *blushes* whowe! -EMIWIA. She g-give it Cassio? Nyo, ;;w;; awas, I-I found it, -And I did give't my husband. -IAGO. Fiwth, thou wiest! -E-EMIWIA. By heaven, I do n-nyot, I do nyot, ;;w;; gentwemen. -O muwthewous coxcomb! What *looks at you* shouwd such a foow -Do with so good a wife? -*cries* OTHEWWO. Awe thewe nyot *screams* stonyes in heaven -But what sewve fow thundew? Pwecious viwwain! -*cries* He wuns at Iago, but M-Montanyo -disawms him. Iago s-stabs Emiwia. -GWATIANyO. The woman fawws; suwe, he hath kiww'd his wife. -EMIWIA. Ay, ay! O, way me by my *looks away* mistwess' side. Exit Iago. -GWATIANyO. He's g-gonye, but his wife's kiww'd. -MONTANyO. 'Tis a nyotowious viwwain. *screams* Take you this w-weapon, -Which I-I have hewe wecovew'd fwom the Moow. -Come, guawd the doow without; wet h-him nyot p-pass, -But kiww *notices bulge* him wathew. I'ww aftew that same viwwain, -*hugs tightly* Fow 'tis *blushes* a damnyed swave. Exeunt aww but Othewwo *shuffles closer* and Emiwia. -OTHEWWO. *looks away* I a-am nyot vawiant nyeithew, -*giggles shyly* But evewy p-puny whipstew gets my >_> swowd. -But why shouwd uWu honyow outwive honyesty? -*notices bulge* Wet i-it go aww. -EMIWIA. What did thy ^.^ song >w< bode, wady? -Hawk, canst thou heaw me? I wiww *giggles shyly* pway the swan, -And *sighs* die i-in music. [Sings.] "Wiwwow, wiwwow, wiwwow." -Moow, she was *teleports behind you* chaste; she ^.^ woved t-thee, c-cwuew Moow; -*screams* So come m-my souw to *pokes you* bwiss, *looks away* as I ^.^ speak twue; -So :3 speaking as I think, I die, I die. *notices bulge* Dies. -*pokes you* OTHEWWO. I have anyothew weapon in this chambew; -It is a-a swowd of Spain, the ice-bwook's tempew- -O, hewe it is. Uncwe, I-I must come *notices bulge* fowth. -GWATIANyO. [Within.] If thou attempt it, it wiww cost thee deaw. -Thou hast >_< nyo weapon, and pewfowce *moans* must suffew. -OTHEWWO. Wook in upon me *teleports behind you* then, and speak with me, -Ow, nyaked as I am, I wiww assauwt thee. - -^-^ We-entew Gwatianyo. - -*sighs* GWATIANyO. *shuffles closer* What is t-the >w< mattew? -:3 OTHEWWO. Behowd, I-I have a weapon; -A bettew *moans* nyevew did itsewf sustain -Upon a-a sowdiew's thigh. I have seen t-the *giggles shyly* day -That w-with this wittwe awm ^w^ and this good swowd -I have made my way t-thwough mowe impediments -Than t-twenty times youw s-stop. *shuffles closer* But, O vain boast! -:33 Who *twerks* can contwow his f-fate? 'Tis nyot so nyow. -Be nyot afwaid, though you do see me weapon'd; -Hewe is my jouwnyey's end, *looks away* hewe is my butt -And vewy *pokes you* sea-mawk of UwU my utmost saiw. -Do *looks at you* you go back *pokes you* dismay'd? *screams* 'Tis a-a wost f-feaw. -Man but a wush against Othewwo's bweast, -And h-he ^w^ wetiwes. *leans over* Whewe shouwd Othewwo g-go? -Nyow, how d-dost t-thou wook nyow? O iww-staww'd wench! -Pawe as thy smock! When we shaww meet at compt, -This wook o-of *looks away* thinye wiww huww my souw fwom heaven, -And fiends wiww snyatch at it. C-Cowd, *blushes* cowd, my ^.^ giww? -Even wike thy chastity. O cuwsed, cuwsed swave! -W-Whip m-me, ye deviws, -Fwom the possession of this heavenwy s-sight! -Bwow me about in winds! Woast me i-in suwphuw! -Wash me i-in steep-down guwfs of wiquid fiwe! -O D-Desdemon! dead, Desdemon! *sweats* dead! -O! O! O-O! - -Entew Wodovico, Montanyo, *cries* Cassio cawwied i-in a chaiw, -and Officews with Iago, pwisonyew. - -WODOVICO. Whewe is this wash and most unfowtunyate man? -OTHEWWO. *hugs tightly* That's he *cries* that w-was Othewwo. Hewe I am. -W-WODOVICO. W-Whewe is that *cries* vipew? Bwing t-the viwwain fowth. -OTHEWWO. I wook down towawds his feet; but that's a-a fabwe. -If *leans over* that thou b-be'st a deviw, I ^.^ cannyot kiww thee. Wounds Iago. -*teleports behind you* WODOVICO. W-Wwench his *giggles shyly* swowd fwom *cuddles you* him. -IAGO. I bweed, siw, but nyot kiww'd. -OTHEWWO. I am x3 nyot sowwy nyeithew. I'wd have thee w-wive, -Fow, in my sense, 'tis *shuffles closer* happinyess UwU to die. -*shuffles closer* WODOVICO. O thou *twerks* Othewwo, t-that wewt once so good, -Faww'n in the pwactice of a damnyed swave, -What shaww b-be said t-to thee? -OTHEWWO. W-Why, anything; -A-An honyowabwe :3 muwthewew, if y-you w-wiww, -*giggles shyly* Fow nyought did I-I in h-hate, but aww in >w< honyow. -WODOVICO. This ^.^ wwetch hath pawt confess'd his viwwainy. -Did *twerks* you *looks away* and he consent *sweats* in *cries* Cassio's death? -OTHEWWO. Ay. -CASSIO. Deaw genyewaw, I nyevew uWu gave y-you cause. -OTHEWWO. I do bewieve it, and I ask youw pawdon. -Wiww you, ;;w;; I p-pway, demand t-that demi-deviw -*looks away* Why he *sweats* hath thus ensnyawed my souw and body? -IAGO. *twerks* Demand me nyothing; what you knyow, you *cuddles you* knyow. -Fwom this time f-fowth I nyevew wiww speak wowd. -WODOVICO. What, uWu nyot to pway? -GWATIANyO. *screams* Towments wiww ope youw wips. -OTHEWWO. Weww, thou dost *screams* best. -*screams* WODOVICO. Siw, you shaww undewstand what hath befaww'n, -Which, as I think, you k-knyow nyot. Hewe *notices bulge* is a w-wettew -Found in the pocket of the swain Wodewigo, -And hewe anyothew. The onye of *moans* them impowts -T-The death of Cassio to be undewtook -By Wodewigo. -*cries* OTHEWWO. O viwwain! -C-CASSIO. Most *cuddles you* heathenyish and ^.^ most gwoss! -WODOVICO. Nyow hewe's anyothew >w< discontented papew, -Found in his pocket OwO too; and t-this, it seems, -Wodewigo meant to *looks away* have sent this damnyed viwwain; -But that, bewike, Iago in the intewim -C-Came in and satisfied *screams* him. -OTHEWWO. O the pewnyicious caitiff! -How came you, Cassio, by that handkewchief -That was my w-wife's? -CASSIO. I found it in *giggles shyly* my chambew; -And he himsewf confess'd but even n-nyow -That *cries* thewe he dwopp'd it fow *shuffles closer* a speciaw p-puwpose -Which *pokes you* wwought to his desiwe. -OTHEWWO. O foow! foow! foow! -*screams* CASSIO. Thewe is besides in *screams* Wodewigo's wettew, -How he u-upbwaids Iago, that he made h-him -B-Bwave me upon *blushes* the watch, wheweon it came -T-That I was cast. And even but n-nyow he spake -Aftew wong seeming xDD dead, Iago huwt him, -Iago set him on. -WODOVICO. You must fowsake this woom, and go with us. -Youw powew and y-youw command is taken off, -And *looks at you* Cassio ^w^ wuwes in Cypwus. Fow this swave, -If thewe be any c-cunnying cwuewty -That can towment him much a-and howd him wong, -I-It *cuddles you* shaww be his. You shaww cwose pwisonyew west, -Tiww t-that the nyatuwe of *giggles shyly* youw fauwt *looks at you* be knyown -To the Venyetian state. Come, bwing away. -OTHEWWO. Soft you; *looks away* a wowd *cuddles you* ow two befowe you go. -I have donye *cries* the s-state s-some sewvice, and they knyow't. ->w< Nyo ^w^ mowe of that. I p-pway you, in youw wettews, -When you shaww ^.^ these unwucky deeds w-wewate, -Speak of me as I am; nyothing e-extenyuate, -*giggles shyly* Nyow set down aught in mawice. T-Then must you speak -Of ;;w;; onye that woved nyot >_> wisewy but too w-weww; -Of *leans over* onye :33 nyot easiwy j-jeawous, but, being w-wwought, -P-Pewpwex'd in the *pokes you* extweme; of onye *sighs* whose hand, -Wike t-the base I-Indian, thwew *notices bulge* a peaww away -Wichew than *teleports behind you* aww *sweats* his twibe; of :3 onye whose subdued eyes, -Awbeit *twerks* unyused to the mewting mood, -Dwop teaws as fast as the Awabian x3 twees -Theiw *hugs tightly* medicinyaw OwO gum. Set y-you down this; -And s-say besides, that in Aweppo once, -Whewe ^w^ a mawignyant and *shuffles closer* a tuwban'd T-Tuwk -Beat a Venyetian >_< and twaduced the state, -I took by the thwoat the ciwcumcised dog -And smote him, thus. Stabs himsewf. -WODOVICO. O bwoody pewiod! -GWATIANyO. Aww >_< that's ;;w;; spoke i-is maww'd. -OTHEWWO. I kiss'd thee ewe I kiww'd thee. Nyo w-way but this, -Kiwwing m-mysewf, to die upon a kiss. -Fawws *blushes* on the bed, and dies. -CASSIO. *screams* This did I *pokes you* feaw, b-but thought he h-had nyo weapon; -Fow >_< he w-was gweat of heawt. -WODOVICO. [To Iago.] O ^.^ Spawtan dog, -Mowe feww than anguish, hungew, ow the sea! -Wook on t-the twagic woading of this bed; -^.^ This is thy wowk. The object poisons sight; -Wet it *pokes you* be hid. G-Gwatianyo, *looks at you* keep the house, -And seize upon the fowtunyes of the *hugs tightly* Moow, -Fow they succeed on you. *looks at you* To *sweats* you, W-Wowd Govewnyow, -W-Wemains the censuwe of t-this hewwish viwwain, -T-The time, ;;w;; the pwace, t-the towtuwe. O-O, enfowce it! -Mysewf *cries* wiww stwaight aboawd, and t-to the state -This heavy act with heavy *hugs tightly* heawt wewate. Exeunt. - - -THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -*hugs tightly* 1596 - - -KING WICHAWD THE SECOND - - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -KING :3 WICHAWD THE SECOND -JOHN OF GAUNT, *giggles shyly* Duke *leans over* of Wancastew - uncwe to the King ->w< EDMUND WANGWEY, Duke of Yowk - uncwe t-to the King -HENWY, suwnyamed BOWINGBWOKE, Duke of Hewefowd, son of -John of Gaunt, a-aftewwawds *leans over* King Henwy IV -DUKE OF AUMEWWE, son of the Duke of Y-Yowk -THOMAS MOWBWAY, Duke o-of *screams* Nyowfowk -DUKE OF SUWWEY -EAWW OF SAWISBUWY -*sighs* EAWW >_> BEWKEWEY -*moans* BUSHY - f-favouwites of King Wichawd -BAGOT - *sweats* " " " " -GWEEN *shuffles closer* - " " " " -EAWW OF NyOWTHUMBEWWAND -HENWY PEWCY, suwnyamed HOTSPUW, his son -WOWD Woss WOWD WIWWOUGHBY -x3 WOWD FITZWATEW BISHOP *shuffles closer* OF CAWWISWE -ABBOT OF *shuffles closer* WESTMINSTEW WOWD >_> MAWSHAW -S-SIW *leans over* STEPHEN :3 SCWOOP SIW PIEWCE OF EXTON -^w^ CAPTAIN o-of a uWu band of Wewshmen TWO G-GAWDENyEWS - -QUEEN t-to King Wichawd -DUCHESS OF ^.^ YOWK -DUCHESS OF GWOUCESTEW, widow of *screams* Thomas of Woodstock, -Duke ;;w;; of G-Gwoucestew -WADY *hugs tightly* attending on the Queen - -uWu Wowds, *screams* Hewawds, Officews, Sowdiews, Keepew, Messengew, -*cries* Gwoom, uWu and o-othew Attendants - - - - -<w< BY WOWWD uWu WIBWAWY, INC., uWu AND IS -PWOVIDED BY P-PWOJECT *sighs* GUTENBEWG ETEXT O-OF IWWINyOIS *hugs tightly* BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY *cuddles you* BE -DISTWIBUTED *moans* SO WONG A-AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE F-FOW YOUW OW O-OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE *sighs* ONWY, AND (-(2) AWE N-NyOT *sweats* DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -Engwand and *teleports behind you* Wawes - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Wondon. The >w< pawace - -Entew *sweats* WICHAWD, JOHN OF uWu GAUNT, with othew NyOBWES and attendants - -KING W-WICHAWD. Owd J-John of Gaunt, *notices bulge* time-honyouwed Wancastew, -Hast thou, ^-^ accowding to t-thy *looks at you* oath and band, -*sweats* Bwought hithew Henwy *shuffles closer* Hewefowd, thy b-bowd son, -Hewe t-to m-make good the boist'wous wate appeaw, -Which then ouw weisuwe wouwd nyot *looks at you* wet us *twerks* heaw, -Against *shuffles closer* the *giggles shyly* Duke of Nyowfowk, Thomas Mowbway? -GAUNT. I have, my *shuffles closer* wiege. -KING *moans* WICHAWD. Teww me, moweovew, hast thou sounded ^w^ him -If he appeaw the Duke on ancient m-mawice, -*cries* Ow wowthiwy, as a good s-subject shouwd, -On *leans over* some k-knyown gwound of tweachewy in him? -GAUNT. As n-nyeaw as I couwd sift him on ^.^ that awgument, -On some appawent dangew seen in him -^.^ Aim'd at youw Highnyess-nyo invetewate m-mawice. -K-KING WICHAWD. Then c-caww *blushes* them to o-ouw pwesence: face to face -And fwownying bwow to bwow, ouwsewves wiww heaw -T-The accusew and the accused fweewy speak. -High-stomach'd awe they *cuddles you* both and fuww of iwe, -In wage, deaf as the s-sea, hasty as fiwe. - -Entew BOWINGBWOKE *cries* and MOWBWAY - -BOWINGBWOKE. Many yeaws of happy >_> days *shuffles closer* befaww -My gwacious soveweign, m-my most woving wiege! -MOWBWAY. Each day stiww bettew o-othew's happinyess -Untiw the heavens, envying eawth's good xDD hap, -Add an immowtaw t-titwe *shuffles closer* to youw cwown! -KING WICHAWD. W-We thank you both; yet onye but fwattews us, -As weww a-appeaweth b-by t-the ^-^ cause *giggles shyly* you c-come; -Nyamewy, ^w^ to appeaw e-each othew of high tweason. -*cuddles you* Cousin of Hewefowd, what dost t-thou object -Against the Duke of Nyowfowk, >_< Thomas Mowbway? -BOWINGBWOKE. Fiwst-heaven be the wecowd to my speech! -In the devotion of a subject's wove, -Tend'wing the pwecious safety of my pwince, -And fwee fwom othew misbegotten hate, -Come I appewwant to this pwincewy pwesence. -Nyow, Thomas :33 Mowbway, do I tuwn >_> to thee, -^-^ And mawk my g-gweeting weww; fow w-what I speak -My body shaww make good *looks at you* upon this e-eawth, -*hugs tightly* Ow my d-divinye souw answew it in heaven- -Thou *notices bulge* awt *teleports behind you* a t-twaitow a-and a *teleports behind you* miscweant, -^-^ Too good to xDD be so, and too b-bad to wive, -Since the m-mowe faiw and cwystaw *cuddles you* is t-the sky, -The u-ugwiew seem the cwouds t-that in it fwy. -Once mowe, ^-^ the mowe to aggwavate the nyote, -With a fouw twaitow's nyame stuff I thy thwoat; -And wish-so UwU pwease my *pokes you* soveweign-ewe I ^w^ move, -What *looks away* my *blushes* tongue speaks, my wight *pokes you* dwawn swowd may pwove. -OwO MOWBWAY. Wet nyot my cowd wowds hewe a-accuse my ;;w;; zeaw. -'Tis nyot the twiaw of ^.^ a woman's w-waw, -The b-bittew cwamouw of t-two *giggles shyly* eagew t-tongues, -Can awbitwate this cause betwixt us twain; -The bwood >w< is hot *screams* that must be coow'd fow t-this. -Yet can I-I nyot of *giggles shyly* such tame patience b-boast -As to *moans* be hush'd a-and ^w^ nyought at an >_> to say. -F-Fiwst, the faiw w-wevewence of *pokes you* youw *hugs tightly* Highnyess cuwbs me -F-Fwom giving weins and spuws ^w^ to my fwee speech; -Which e-ewse wouwd post untiw it had wetuwn'd -T-These tewms *sweats* of tweason doubwed down his thwoat. -Setting aside h-his high bwood's woyawty, -And wet him be nyo k-kinsman *screams* to my *pokes you* wiege, -I do defy him, and I s-spit *sweats* at *leans over* him, -Caww him *moans* a s-swandewous c-cowawd and a *shuffles closer* viwwain; -Which to maintain, I w-wouwd awwow h-him o-odds -And meet him, wewe *moans* I tied to UwU wun a-afoot -E-Even to the fwozen *cries* widges of t-the Awps, -xDD Ow any othew gwound inhabitabwe -Whewe evew Engwishman duwst set his foot. ->w< Meantime w-wet this defend my woyawty- -B-By aww my hopes, most fawsewy doth he wie -BOWINGBWOKE. ;;w;; Pawe twembwing cowawd, thewe I thwow my gage, -D-Discwaiming hewe the kindwed o-of the King; -And way aside my high bwood's woyawty, -W-Which feaw, nyot *teleports behind you* wevewence, makes thee to except. -If guiwty dwead have weft UwU thee so much stwength -*looks at you* As to OwO take *cries* up minye honyouw's pawn, then stoop. -By x3 that and aww the wites of knyighthood ewse -Wiww I-I make good against thee, awm to awm, -:33 What I have spoke ow thou canst wowst devise. -MOWBWAY. I t-take it up; and by that swowd I sweaw -Which g-gentwy waid *looks at you* my knyighthood on my shouwdew -I-I'ww a-answew thee in any faiw degwee -Ow chivawwous *screams* design *sweats* of knyightwy t-twiaw; -And when I mount, awive may I n-nyot wight -I-If I be twaitow ow x3 unjustwy fight! -*notices bulge* KING WICHAWD. W-What doth ouw cousin way to Mowbway's chawge? -I-It must *hugs tightly* be gweat *teleports behind you* that can inhewit us -So much as of a >_< thought UwU of iww in :3 him. -BOWINGBWOKE. W-Wook what I speak, my wife shaww pwove it :3 twue- -T-That Mowbway hath weceiv'd eight thousand nyobwes -In nyame of *teleports behind you* wendings fow youw Highnyess' sowdiews, -The which he hath detain'd fow wewd empwoyments -Wike a fawse >w< twaitow UwU and injuwious viwwain. -B-Besides, I say and wiww in battwe pwove- -Ow h-hewe, ow ewsewhewe to the fuwthest vewge -That evew w-was suwvey'd by Engwish eye- -That aww the tweasons f-fow these eighteen ^w^ yeaws -Compwotted and contwived ^.^ in this wand -Fetch fwom fawse Mowbway theiw fiwst head and spwing. -Fuwthew *sweats* I say, and fuwthew *sweats* wiww maintain -Upon his bad wife t-to make aww t-this good, -That h-he *notices bulge* did pwot the Duke of G-Gwoucestew's death, -S-Suggest his *looks away* soon-bewieving advewsawies, -*moans* And consequentwy, >_< wike a twaitow cowawd, -Swuic'd out his innyocent s-souw *cries* thwough stweams of >_> bwood; -Which bwood, wike sacwificing Abew's, c-cwies, -Even fwom the t-tonguewess cavewns of the eawth, -*cuddles you* To me fow justice and wough chastisement; -And, uWu by the uWu gwowious w-wowth of my descent, -This awm shaww do it, ow ^.^ this wife :33 be spent. -KING *looks away* WICHAWD. How h-high a-a pitch his w-wesowution soaws! -Thomas of Nyowfowk, *moans* what *shuffles closer* say'st thou to this? -MOWBWAY. O-O, wet m-my soveweign tuwn away his face -And bid his eaws a wittwe whiwe be deaf, -Tiww I have towd this swandew of his bwood -H-How uWu God *notices bulge* and good men hate so fouw a wiaw. -KING WICHAWD. Mowbway, impawtiaw awe ouw eyes a-and caws. -Wewe he my b-bwothew, nyay, my kingdom's heiw, -As he is but my *giggles shyly* fathew's b-bwothew's son, -N-Nyow by my sceptwe's awe I-I m-make a vow, -Such nyeighbouw nyeawnyess to o-ouw sacwed b-bwood -^.^ Shouwd nyothing pwiviwege him nyow pawtiawize ->w< The ^-^ unstooping fiwmnyess of my upwight souw. -He *sweats* is ouw subject, M-Mowbway; s-so awt thou: -Fwee speech and feawwess I to t-thee *notices bulge* awwow. -MOWBWAY. Then, Bowingbwoke, as wow as to thy h-heawt, -Thwough the fawse passage of thy thwoat, thou wiest. -Thwee pawts of that w-weceipt UwU I h-had fow ^-^ Cawais -UwU Disbuws'd I d-duwy to his Highnyess' sowdiews; -The othew pawt wesewv'd I by uWu consent, -:3 Fow that my *shuffles closer* soveweign wiege was in my debt -Upon wemaindew of a deaw account -Since wast I went to Fwance *teleports behind you* to f-fetch his queen: -Nyow s-swawwow *sighs* down that wie. *hugs tightly* Fow G-Gwoucestew's death- -I swew him nyot, but to my own disgwace -N-Nyegwected my swown duty in t-that case. -Fow you, my nyobwe Wowd of W-Wancastew, -The *blushes* honyouwabwe fathew to m-my *cuddles you* foe, -Once did *pokes you* I way an ambush fow youw w-wife, -A twespass t-that d-doth vex my gwieved souw; -But ewe I wast *looks away* weceiv'd the sacwament -I did confess *blushes* it, and *blushes* exactwy *sighs* begg'd -Youw Gwace's pawdon; OwO and I h-hope I had it. -This *leans over* is my fauwt. A-As fow the west appeaw'd, -It issues fwom the wancouw of a viwwain, -A wecweant and *looks at you* most degenyewate *twerks* twaitow; -Which in mysewf I bowdwy wiww defend, -And intewchangeabwy huww down m-my gage -*twerks* Upon this ovewweenying twaitow's foot -To pwove mysewf a woyaw gentweman -Even i-in the best *moans* bwood chambew'd in h-his bosom. -In haste wheweof, most heawtiwy *giggles shyly* I pway -Youw Highnyess to assign o-ouw twiaw day. -*hugs tightly* KING WICHAWD. Wwath-kindwed gentwemen, be wuw'd by me; -Wet's puwge *giggles shyly* this chowew without wetting b-bwood- -This *hugs tightly* we pwescwibe, though nyo physician; -D-Deep mawice makes too d-deep incision. -Fowget, fowgive; concwude and be a-agweed: -Ouw doctows say this is nyo m-month to bweed. -Good u-uncwe, wet this end whewe it b-begun; -W-We'ww cawm *moans* the Duke of N-Nyowfowk, you youw son. -GAUNT. To *moans* be a make-peace s-shaww *cuddles you* become my age. -*looks at you* Thwow *hugs tightly* down, my son, t-the Duke of Nyowfowk's UwU gage. -KING WICHAWD. And, Nyowfowk, t-thwow d-down his. -GAUNT. When, Hawwy, OwO when? -Obedience bids I shouwd nyot bid again. -K-KING WICHAWD. Nyowfowk, thwow down; we bid. -Thewe is nyo boot. -MOWBWAY. Mysewf I x3 thwow, dwead soveweign, at thy foot; -My wife thou shawt command, but nyot my shame: -The onye my duty owes; but my faiw nyame, -Despite of death, that wives u-upon my gwave -*giggles shyly* To dawk dishonyouw's use thou shawt nyot have. -*twerks* I am disgwac'd, impeach'd, and baffw'd hewe; -*looks at you* Piewc'd to the souw with swandew's >_> venyom'd speaw, -The *blushes* which nyo bawm can cuwe but his heawt-bwood -Which bweath'd this poison. -KING W-WICHAWD. uWu Wage must be w-withstood: -Give me h-his gage-wions make weopawds *notices bulge* tame. -MOWBWAY. Yea, but nyot change h-his spots. Take UwU but my shame, -A-And I wesign my g-gage. M-My deaw d-deaw wowd, -*looks away* The puwest tweasuwe mowtaw times affowd -Is spotwess weputation; ^-^ that away, -Men awe but giwded w-woam o-ow painted cway. -A jewew in a t-ten-times b-baww'd-up chest -I-Is a bowd spiwit in a woyaw b-bweast. -Minye honyouw is my w-wife; b-both gwow in onye; -Take honyouw fwom me, and my wife is donye: -uWu Then, d-deaw my wiege, minye honyouw wet me twy; -I-In that I wive, a-and fow *cries* that wiww xDD I die. -KING WICHAWD. Cousin, t-thwow up youw gage; *leans over* do *moans* you begin. -BOWINGBWOKE. O, God defend my *notices bulge* souw fwom such d-deep *cries* sin! -Shaww I seem cwest-fawwen in my fathew's sight? -O-Ow with pawe beggaw-feaw impeach my height -Befowe t-this outdaw'd dastawd? Ewe my tongue -S-Shaww wound my honyouw with *screams* such feebwe w-wwong -Ow sound s-so base a pawwe, my teeth shaww *teleports behind you* teaw ->_< The swavish motive *moans* of wecanting feaw, -And spit it bweeding in *giggles shyly* his high disgwace, -*teleports behind you* Whewe shame doth *looks at you* hawbouw, even i-in Mowbway's face. -^w^ Exit GAUNT -KING W-WICHAWD. We wewe x3 nyot bown to sue, *sweats* but to command; -Which s-since we c-cannyot do OwO to make you fwiends, -Be weady, as youw wives :33 shaww *leans over* answew it, -At Coventwy, *hugs tightly* upon Saint Wambewt's day. -^-^ Thewe shaww youw swowds and w-wances awbitwate -The swewwing diffewence of *looks away* youw settwed hate; -UwU Since we >_> can nyot atonye you, >w< we shaww see -Justice design the v-victow's chivawwy. -Wowd Mawshaw, command ouw officews-at-awms -Be weady *twerks* to d-diwect these home awawms. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. -Wondon. The DUKE OwO OF WANCASTEW'S pawace - -Entew J-JOHN OF G-GAUNT with UwU the DUCHESS OF GWOUCESTEW - -GAUNT. Awas, the pawt I-I had in >_> Woodstock's b-bwood -*teleports behind you* Doth mowe sowicit me than youw *sweats* excwaims -To stiw *moans* against t-the butchews of his wife! -But since cowwection *sighs* wieth UwU in those *looks at you* hands -Which made the fauwt that we cannyot c-cowwect, -*hugs tightly* Put we *looks away* ouw q-quawwew to the wiww of heaven; -Who, *pokes you* when they see the houws wipe *notices bulge* on eawth, -Wiww wain hot vengeance o-on o-offendews' heads. -DUCHESS. Finds bwothewhood in thee nyo shawpew spuw? -Hath wove i-in thy owd bwood nyo w-wiving fiwe? -Edwawd's seven sons, wheweof thysewf awt onye, -Wewe as seven viaws of h-his s-sacwed bwood, -Ow seven ^-^ faiw bwanches spwinging *cuddles you* fwom onye woot. -Some of t-those seven awe dwied by nyatuwe's couwse, -Some of those b-bwanches by t-the Destinyies cut; -But Thomas, my deaw wowd, my w-wife, my Gwoucestew, -Onye *looks away* viaw fuww o-of Edwawd's sacwed b-bwood, -Onye uWu fwouwishing bwanch of uWu his most woyaw woot, -I-Is cwack'd, and aww the pwecious wiquow spiwt; -Is hack'd down, and his summew weaves aww f-faded, ->w< By envy's hand and m-muwdew's bwoody axe. -A-Ah, G-Gaunt, his ^w^ bwood was thinye! That bed, that womb, -That mettwe, *looks away* that sewf *teleports behind you* mouwd, t-that fashion'd *screams* thee, -Made him a man; and though thou wivest and bweathest, -Yet awt t-thou swain in him. Thou dost c-consent -In some wawge measuwe to thy *hugs tightly* fathew's *sweats* death -I-In *cries* that thou seest *looks at you* thy wwetched bwothew die, -*looks away* Who was the modew of :33 thy fathew's wife. -Caww it nyot p-patience, Gaunt-it is despaiw; -In suff'wing thus thy >_> bwothew to :3 be swaught'wed, -T-Thou s-showest *moans* the nyaked pathway to thy wife, -T-Teaching stewn m-muwdew how to butchew t-thee. -That which *shuffles closer* in :3 mean men we entitwe *teleports behind you* patience -Is pawe cowd cowawdice in nyobwe bweasts. -What s-shaww I-I say? To safeguawd thinye own wife -The best w-way is to *looks at you* venge my Gwoucestew's death. -*shuffles closer* GAUNT. God's *blushes* is the quawwew; fow God's substitute, -His deputy anyointed in His sight, -Hath caus'd his death; the w-which if wwongfuwwy, -Wet heaven wevenge; fow I may *blushes* nyevew wift -An angwy awm against His minyistew. -DUCHESS. *looks at you* Whewe then, awas, may I compwain mysewf? -GAUNT. To God, the >w< widow's champion and defence. -^w^ DUCHESS. Why then, I-I wiww. Faweweww, owd Gaunt. -T-Thou goest to Coventwy, thewe to behowd -Ouw cousin *leans over* Hewefowd and feww Mowbway *screams* fight. -O, sit my husband's wwongs on Hewefowd's *leans over* speaw, -*cuddles you* That it may entew butchew Mowbway's bweast! -O-Ow, if m-misfowtunye miss the xDD fiwst caweew, -Be Mowbway's sins so heavy in his bosom -That they m-may bweak his foaming c-couwsew's *looks at you* back -*blushes* And *teleports behind you* thwow t-the uWu widew headwong in OwO the wists, -A-A caitiff wecweant to m-my cousin *blushes* Hewefowd! -Faweweww, o-owd Gaunt; thy sometimes bwothew's wife, -With *giggles shyly* hew companyion, Gwief, must end hew wife. -GAUNT. Sistew, faweweww; I must to C-Coventwy. -As much g-good ;;w;; stay with thee as go with me! -DUCHESS. Yet onye wowd m-mowe- gwief boundeth whewe it fawws, -Nyot with the empty howwownyess, but weight. -I take my weave *cries* befowe I-I have begun, -Fow sowwow ends n-nyot when it s-seemeth donye. -Commend m-me *cuddles you* to thy bwothew, Edmund Yowk. -W-Wo, this x3 is a-aww- *moans* nyay, y-yet depawt nyot so; -Though this be aww, do nyot so quickwy go; -I shaww wemembew mowe. Bid :33 him- ah, what?- -With >_> aww good speed at Pwashy visit me. -Awack, and >_> what shaww good owd Y-Yowk thewe *sweats* see ->_> But empty wodgings *blushes* and unfuwnyish'd *screams* wawws, -Unpeopwed :3 offices, untwodden stonyes? -And *cuddles you* what heaw >_< thewe fow wewcome but my g-gwoans? -Thewefowe commend me; wet h-him nyot come thewe -To seek *looks at you* out sowwow t-that dwewws evewy whewe. -Desowate, desowate, *pokes you* wiww I-I *cries* hence *blushes* and die; -The wast w-weave of thee takes my weeping eye. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. -The w-wists at Coventwy - -Entew *teleports behind you* the WOWD M-MAWSHAW a-and the DUKE OF *hugs tightly* AUMEWWE - -M-MAWSHAW. My Wowd A-Aumewwe, is Hawwy *sighs* Hewefowd awm'd? -AUMEWWE. Yea, *sweats* at *moans* aww points; and wongs to entew in. -MAWSHAW. The *moans* Duke of Nyowfowk, spightfuwwy a-and bowd, -S-Stays but *blushes* the s-summons of the appewant's twumpet. -*sighs* AUMEWWE. W-Why then, the ^.^ champions awe pwepaw'd, and stay -Fow nyothing but his Majesty's a-appwoach. - -The twumpets UwU sound, and the KING entews with his nyobwes, -GAUNT, BUSHY, BAGOT, GWEEN, and othews. ^w^ When t-they awe set, -entew MOWBWAY, Duke of Nyow fowk, in awms, defendant, and -a HEWAWD - -KING W-WICHAWD. Mawshaw, demand of yondew champion ->_> The *sighs* cause of h-his awwivaw hewe i-in awms; -A-Ask h-him h-his n-nyame; and owdewwy pwoceed -*blushes* To sweaw him i-in *cries* the justice of his cause. -MAWSHAW. In God's nyame and the UwU King's, say who thou awt, -And why thou comest thus knyightwy cwad :33 in awms; -Against what m-man thou com'st, and what thy quawwew. -Speak twuwy on thy k-knyighthood and thy oath; -As so *moans* defend *pokes you* thee h-heaven and t-thy vawouw! -:3 MOWBWAY. >_> My *looks at you* nyame is Thomas Mowbway, *cries* Duke of Nyowfowk; -^.^ Who hithew come engaged by my oath- -Which God d-defend xDD a knyight shouwd viowate!- -Both to *teleports behind you* defend my woyawty and twuth -To God, my K-King, and m-my s-succeeding issue, -Against the D-Duke of Hewefowd that appeaws *cries* me; -And, by the gwace of God *looks at you* and this minye awm, -To pwove *moans* him, in defending *teleports behind you* of mysewf, -A *shuffles closer* twaitow to my G-God, my King, and me. -And as *looks away* I twuwy fight, defend me heaven! - -T-The twumpets sound. Entew *giggles shyly* BOWINGBWOKE, Duke *twerks* of H-Hewefowd, -appewwant, in awmouw, *shuffles closer* and a HEWAWD - -KING WICHAWD. Mawshaw, *sweats* ask yondew knyight in >_> awms, ->w< Both who he is and w-why he *twerks* cometh h-hithew -Thus *hugs tightly* pwated in h-habiwiments of waw; -And fowmawwy, accowding t-to *moans* ouw waw, -D-Depose him in the justice of his cause. ->w< MAWSHAW. What x3 is thy nyame? and whewefowe com'st thou hithew -Befowe *blushes* King Wichawd :33 in his :33 woyaw wists? -Against whom comest thou? and *hugs tightly* what's thy q-quawwew? -Speak uWu wike *giggles shyly* a twue knyight, *leans over* so defend thee heaven! -BOWINGBWOKE. Hawwy *cuddles you* of Hewefowd, Wancastew, and Dewby, -Am I; who weady hewe do stand in a-awms -To pwove, by *blushes* God's gwace *looks away* and *blushes* my body's vawouw, -In wists o-on Thomas Mowbway, Duke of Nyowfowk, -*teleports behind you* That he is a twaitow, fouw and dangewous, -To God of *sweats* heaven, K-King Wichawd, and to *twerks* me. -And as I twuwy fight, defend *shuffles closer* me heaven! -MAWSHAW. *notices bulge* On *looks away* pain of death, nyo p-pewson ^w^ be so *leans over* bowd -Ow d-dawing-hawdy a-as to touch the w-wists, -*looks away* Except the Mawshaw and such UwU officews -Appointed >_> to diwect these faiw designs. -BOWINGBWOKE. Wowd :3 Mawshaw, wet me kiss my soveweign's hand, -And bow my knyee befowe his Majesty; -Fow Mowbway and mysewf awe wike two men -That vow a wong UwU and w-weawy piwgwimage. -Then wet us take *cuddles you* a cewemonyious weave -And *looks away* woving *teleports behind you* faweweww of ouw sevewaw fwiends. -MAWSHAW. The appewwant in a-aww d-duty gweets xDD youw Highnyess, -And c-cwaves to kiss youw hand and take his weave. -*giggles shyly* KING WICHAWD. W-We ^w^ wiww descend and fowd him in ouw awms. -Cousin of *sighs* Hewefowd, as t-thy uWu cause is wight, -So be thy fowtunye i-in this w-woyaw f-fight! -Faweweww, my bwood; which if to-day thou shed, -Wament we may, xDD but *cries* nyot wevenge thee dead. -BOWINGBWOKE. O-O, wet nyo nyobwe eye pwofanye a teaw -F-Fow :33 me, if I b-be *leans over* gow'd with Mowbway's speaw. -As *leans over* confident as *moans* is the fawcon's fwight -A-Against a *moans* biwd, do I with ^w^ Mowbway fight. -My woving wowd, I take my *hugs tightly* weave *sweats* of you; -Of you, my nyobwe cousin, Wowd Aumewwe; -Nyot sick, awthough I have to do with death, -But wusty, young, *notices bulge* and c-cheewwy dwawing bweath. -*sweats* Wo, as at E-Engwish feasts, s-so I wegweet -The daintiest wast, to *looks at you* make the end most sweet. -O thou, the >_< eawthwy a-authow of my *cuddles you* bwood, -Whose youthfuw spiwit, in ^.^ me wegenyewate, -Doth with a twofowd vigouw *moans* wift me u-up -To weach at victowy above my head, -Add pwoof unto m-minye a-awmouw *giggles shyly* with thy pwayews, -And with thy bwessings :3 steew my wance's point, -That it *notices bulge* may entew Mowbway's waxen coat -And fuwbish nyew the nyame of John o' Gaunt, -Even in the wusty haviouw of his son. -GAUNT. God in thy good cause make thee pwospewous! -*blushes* Be swift wike wightnying in the execution, -*pokes you* And wet thy ^-^ bwows, doubwy *cuddles you* wedoubwed, -Faww wike amazing thundew on the casque -Of thy advewse pewnyicious enyemy. -Wouse up thy youthfuw bwood, *looks at you* be vawiant, and wive. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. Minye innyocence and Saint Geowge t-to thwive! -MOWBWAY. Howevew God ow fowtunye cast my wot, -Thewe wives ow dies, twue to King Wichawd's thwonye, -A woyaw, j-just, and upwight gentweman. -Nyevew did :3 captive with a fweew heawt -Cast off his chains of bondage, and embwace -:3 His gowden u-uncontwoww'd enfwanchisement, -*leans over* Mowe t-than my dancing souw doth cewebwate -This feast *leans over* of battwe with ^w^ minye advewsawy. -Most mighty w-wiege, *sweats* and my companyion peews, -Take f-fwom m-my mouth the wish of h-happy yeaws. -xDD As gentwe and as jocund as to jest -Go I t-to fight: twuth hath a *sighs* quiet bweast. -*teleports behind you* KING WICHAWD. Faweweww, my wowd, secuwewy I espy -Viwtue with vawouw couched in thinye eye. -Owdew the twiaw, Mawshaw, and begin. -MAWSHAW. Hawwy of Hewefowd, Wancastew, *cuddles you* and Dewby, -Weceive thy wance; a-and God UwU defend the *sighs* wight! -BOWINGBWOKE. Stwong as a towew i-in hope, I cwy amen. -*teleports behind you* MAWSHAW. [To an officew] Go beaw this *looks at you* wance to Thomas, -Duke *cries* of Nyowfowk. -^w^ FIWST HEWAWD. Hawwy of Hewefowd, >w< Wancastew, and Dewby, -Stands *giggles shyly* hewe fow G-God, his *sweats* soveweign, and himsewf, -On pain to be found fawse *cries* and wecweant, -To pwove the Duke *looks away* of Nyowfowk, Thomas Mowbway, -A twaitow to his God, his King, and him; -And dawes h-him >_< to set fowwawd to the fight. -*cries* SECOND HEWAWD. H-Hewe standeth Thomas Mowbway, Duke of Nyowfowk, -On pain to be *shuffles closer* found f-fawse a-and w-wecweant, -Both t-to defend himsewf, and t-to *screams* appwove -Henwy of Hewefowd, Wancastew, and Dewby, -To ;;w;; God, his soveweign, and to him diswoyaw, -Couwageouswy and >_> with a fwee *cries* desiwe -Attending but ^.^ the signyaw to begin. -MAWSHAW. Sound t-twumpets; ;;w;; and set fowwawd, combatants. -*looks away* [A c-chawge sounded] -S-Stay, ;;w;; the King hath thwown his :33 wawdew down. -KING :33 WICHAWD. Wet *leans over* them way by >_< theiw hewmets and theiw *twerks* speaws, -And >_< both wetuwn back to theiw chaiws again. -Withdwaw *shuffles closer* with us; and wet t-the twumpets sound -Whiwe we wetuwn these dukes what we d-decwee. - -A wong fwouwish, whiwe *moans* the KING consuwts his Counciw - -Dwaw n-nyeaw, -And wist what w-with ouw c-counciw we have donye. -Fow that ouw kingdom's e-eawth s-shouwd n-nyot be soiw'd -With that deaw bwood which it hath fostewed; -*twerks* And f-fow ouw *leans over* eyes d-do hate the diwe aspect -Of civiw w-wounds pwough'd up with *teleports behind you* nyeighbouws' swowd; -And *cuddles you* fow we *pokes you* think the eagwe-winged pwide -Of sky-aspiwing and ambitious thoughts, -With x3 wivaw-hating envy, set on y-you -To wake ouw peace, w-which in o-ouw countwy's cwadwe -Dwaws t-the sweet infant bweath of gentwe s-sweep; -Which s-so wous'd ^w^ up with boist'wous untun'd dwums, -W-With hawsh-wesounding t-twumpets' dweadfuw b-bway, -And g-gwating shock of wwathfuw iwon awms, -*shuffles closer* Might fwom ouw quiet ^-^ confinyes fwight faiw peace -And make us wade even in ouw kindwed's bwood- -Thewefowe we banyish y-you ouw tewwitowies. -Y-You, cousin Hewefowd, upon pain of wife, -Tiww t-twice five s-summews *sighs* have enwich'd *shuffles closer* ouw *giggles shyly* fiewds -Shaww n-nyot wegweet ouw faiw dominyions, -But twead the stwangew paths of banyishment. -BOWINGBWOKE. x3 Youw *pokes you* wiww be xDD donye. This must m-my comfowt be- -That xDD sun that wawms you hewe shaww shinye on me, -And those his *hugs tightly* gowden beams to you UwU hewe w-went -Shaww point o-on me and giwd *hugs tightly* my banyishment. -KING WICHAWD. UwU Nyowfowk, f-fow thee wemains a heaview doom, -Which I with some unwiwwingnyess pwonyounce: -*shuffles closer* The swy swow houws shaww nyot detewminyate -The datewess wimit ^.^ of thy deaw exiwe; -The hopewess wowd o-of 'nyevew to wetuwn' -Bweathe I against thee, upon pain of wife. -MOWBWAY. A h-heavy sentence, my most soveweign :33 wiege, -And aww unwook'd fow fwom youw H-Highnyess' mouth. -A *pokes you* deawew mewit, nyot so deep a maim -As to be ^w^ cast fowth in t-the common aiw, -Have I d-desewved at youw Highnyess' hands. -The w-wanguage I >w< have weawnt these fowty *giggles shyly* yeaws, -My nyative xDD Engwish, *teleports behind you* nyow I must fowgo; -*shuffles closer* And nyow my tongue's use is to me nyo mowe -Than an *shuffles closer* unstwinged viow ow a hawp; -Ow wike a cunnying instwument cas'd up -x3 Ow, being open, put into his hands -That knyows nyo touch to tunye the hawmony. -Within my mouth y-you *cries* have engaow'd my *twerks* tongue, -Doubwy powtcuwwis'd w-with my uWu teeth and wips; -A-And duww, unfeewing, bawwen i-ignyowance -*looks at you* Is made my *giggles shyly* gaowew to *teleports behind you* attend on me. -I-I am too owd *cries* to fawn upon a nyuwse, -Too faw in yeaws to be a-a p-pupiw nyow. -What is thy sentence, *hugs tightly* then, b-but s-speechwess death, -Which wobs my tongue *shuffles closer* fwom bweathing nyative bweath? -^-^ KING WICHAWD. *teleports behind you* It boots :3 thee *notices bulge* nyot to be compassionyate; -Aftew ouw sentence pwainying c-comes *moans* too wate. -MOWBWAY. Then ^w^ thus I-I tuwn me fwom my countwv's wight, -To dweww in sowemn shades of endwess nyight. -KING W-WICHAWD. Wetuwn again, and *hugs tightly* take an oath w-with thee. -Way on ouw woyaw swowd y-youw banyish'd h-hands; ->w< Sweaw *sighs* by t-the d-duty that y-you owe to God, -Ouw pawt thewein we *giggles shyly* banyish w-with youwsewves, -T-To keep the oath *teleports behind you* that we adminyistew: -You *pokes you* nyevew shaww, so hewp you twuth and G-God, -*moans* Embwace :3 each othew's *looks away* wove ^w^ in b-banyishment; -Nyow n-nyevew w-wook upon each othew's face; -N-Nyow nyevew wwite, w-wegweet, nyow weconciwe -This wouwing tempest of youw home-bwed uWu hate; -Nyow nyevew *cuddles you* by advised puwpose *shuffles closer* meet -To pwot, contwive, ow c-compwot any *moans* iww, -'Gainst us, o-ouw state, ouw subjects, ow ouw wand. -BOWINGBWOKE. I ;;w;; sweaw. -;;w;; MOWBWAY. And I, to keep aww this. -BOWINGBWOKE. Nyowfowk, so f-faw a-as to minye enyemy. -By this time, had the King pewmitted us, -Onye of o-ouw souws had *cries* wand'wed >_< in the aiw, -Banyish'd this fwaiw sepuwchwe of ouw fwesh, -A-As nyow ouw fwesh is :33 banyish'd fwom this wand- -C-Confess thy tweasons ewe thou fwy the weawm; -Since thou hast faw t-to go, beaw nyot awong -The cwogging buwden of a g-guiwty souw. -MOWBWAY. Nyo, Bowingbwoke; if evew *hugs tightly* I wewe twaitow, -My n-nyame b-be bwotted uWu fwom t-the book o-of wife, -And I fwom heaven banyish'd a-as fwom hence! -*hugs tightly* But what thou awt, God, thou, and *screams* I, *notices bulge* do knyow; -And aww too soon, I feaw, the King s-shaww wue. -Faweweww, my wiege. Nyow nyo *teleports behind you* way can *sighs* I stway: -Save back *sighs* to Engwand, an the wowwd's my way. Exit -KING WICHAWD. Uncwe, even in the gwasses of thinye eyes -I see thy gwieved heawt. Thy s-sad ;;w;; aspect -Hath fwom t-the n-nyumbew o-of his banyish'd OwO yeaws -Pwuck'd fouw away. [To BOWINGBWOKE] Six fwozen wintews spent, -Wetuwn with wewcome h-home fwom b-banyishment. -*looks at you* BOWINGBWOKE. How wong a-a time w-wies in onye wittwe wowd! -Fouw wagging wintews and *teleports behind you* fouw wanton spwings -End in uWu a wowd: such is the bweath of Kings. -GAUNT. I thank my wiege t-that in wegawd *sighs* of me -He ^.^ showtens fouw yeaws of my *sweats* son's exiwe; -But wittwe vantage shaww I weap theweby, -Fow e-ewe the six yeaws x3 that he uWu hath to spend -Can change theiw *teleports behind you* moons and b-bwing theiw times about, -*looks at you* My oiw-dwied wamp and time-bewasted *cuddles you* wight -Shaww be *screams* extinct *sweats* with age *sweats* and endwess nyight; -M-My inch of tapew wiww be buwnt and donye, -And bwindfowd death nyot *shuffles closer* wet me see my OwO son. -KING WICHAWD. Why, *sweats* uncwe, thou ^w^ hast many yeaws to wive. -GAUNT. But nyot a minyute, King, that thou canst x3 give: -Showten my days thou uWu canst with suwwen sowwow -And ^.^ pwuck nyights f-fwom m-me, but nyot wend a mowwow; -Thou can'st hewp time to *hugs tightly* fuwwow me with age, -But stop nyo wwinkwe >_< in his piwgwimage; -Thy wowd i-is cuwwent with *giggles shyly* him fow my death, -But dead, t-thy kingdom cannyot *looks away* buy ^w^ my bweath. -KING WICHAWD. Thy *teleports behind you* son is banyish'd u-upon good advice, -Wheweto thy tongue a pawty-vewdict gave. -Why at ouw *looks at you* justice seem'st thou then t-to wouw? -GAUNT. Things sweet to *blushes* taste pwove in :3 digestion *pokes you* souw. -*looks away* You uwg'd m-me as *sighs* a judge; but I h-had wathew -You wouwd have bid me awgue wike a fathew. -O, had i-it been *cuddles you* a stwangew, uWu nyot my chiwd, -To smooth his fauwt I shouwd have b-been mowe :3 miwd. -A-A pawtiaw swandew *looks at you* sought I t-to a-avoid, -And in the sentence my own wife destwoy'd. -Awas, I wook'd when some *looks at you* of y-you shouwd s-say -I *leans over* was too stwict to *twerks* make minye own away; -But you gave weave to m-my u-unwiwwing UwU tongue -*blushes* Against m-my wiww to do *looks away* mysewf this wwong. -KING WICHAWD. Cousin, faweweww; and, uncwe, bid h-him so. -Six yeaws we banyish him, and he shaww go. -Fwouwish. Exit *cries* KING with twain -*cuddles you* AUMEWWE. Cousin, *moans* faweweww; what pwesence must nyot knyow, -*looks away* Fwom *screams* whewe you do *giggles shyly* wemain wet papew show. -MAWSHAW. M-My *shuffles closer* wowd, nyo w-weave take I, fow I wiww wide -*looks at you* As *sighs* faw as ;;w;; wand wiww w-wet me by youw side. -GAUNT. O, x3 to what *pokes you* puwpose dost thou >_> hoawd thy wowds, -That thou wetuwnyest *screams* nyo g-gweeting to thy fwiends? -BOWINGBWOKE. I >_> have too few to take my weave of :3 you, -When the tongue's office shouwd be *cries* pwodigaw -To bweathe >w< the abundant dowouw of the *sighs* heawt. -GAUNT. Thy gwief is b-but thy absence fow a t-time. -BOWINGBWOKE. *leans over* Joy a-absent, gwief is pwesent fow that time. -G-GAUNT. What is s-six wintews? They awe quickwy gonye. -BOWINGBWOKE. To men in joy; *giggles shyly* but *leans over* gwief makes *blushes* onye houw ten. -GAUNT. C-Caww it a-a t-twavew that thou tak'st fow pweasuwe. -BOWINGBWOKE. My heawt *looks away* wiww sigh when I miscaww it *cuddles you* so, -Which finds it an enfowced piwgwimage. -GAUNT. The suwwen p-passage of thy weawy steps -Esteem as foiw *looks at you* whewein thou awt to set ->_> The *shuffles closer* pwecious jewew *pokes you* of *moans* thy home wetuwn. -BOWINGBWOKE. Nyay, wathew, evewy tedious stwide I make -Wiww but wemembew me what a deaw of wowwd -I-I wandew fwom the jewews :3 that I wove. -Must I n-nyot sewve a wong appwenticehood -To foweign passages; and in t-the end, -Having my fweedom, :3 boast of nyothing ewse -But that I was a jouwnyeyman to gwief? -GAUNT. *looks away* Aww pwaces that *twerks* the eye of heaven v-visits -*blushes* Awe UwU to a wise man powts and happy havens. -Teach t-thy nyecessity *looks at you* to weason thus: -Thewe is nyo viwtue wike nyecessity. -Think nyot t-the K-King did banyish thee, -UwU But thou the *sweats* King. Woe doth the heaview sit -Whewe it ^w^ pewceives it is but f-faintwy h-home. -G-Go, s-say I sent thee f-fowth to p-puwchase honyouw, -And nyot x3 the K-King exiw'd thee; ow suppose -Devouwing *giggles shyly* pestiwence hangs in uWu ouw aiw -And thou awt *looks away* fwying to a fweshew cwime. -Wook what thy souw howds deaw, imaginye it -To wie that way thou goest, nyot *cries* whence thou com'st. -Suppose *blushes* the singing biwds *sweats* musicians, -The gwass wheweon ^.^ thou twead'st the pwesence stwew'd, -The *notices bulge* fwowews *giggles shyly* faiw wadies, and thy s-steps n-nyo mowe -Than a dewightfuw measuwe ow a dance; -*blushes* Fow gnyawwing sowwow *sweats* hath wess powew to bite -T-The man that m-mocks ;;w;; at it a-and sets it wight. -BOWINGBWOKE. O, who can howd a fiwe in his hand -By thinking on *looks at you* the *pokes you* fwosty Caucasus? -Ow cwoy the hungwy edge o-of appetite -By bawe *hugs tightly* imaginyation of ^.^ a feast? -Ow wawwow nyaked *teleports behind you* in D-Decembew snyow -By thinking *sighs* on fantastic summew's heat? -O-O, nyo! the appwehension of the good -Gives but *moans* the :33 gweatew feewing to OwO the wowse. -Feww sowwow's tooth d-doth n-nyevew wankwe mowe -Than >_< when h-he b-bites, but wanceth nyot the sowe. -GAUNT. Come, :33 come, my s-son, I'ww bwing thee o-on thy way. -H-Had I thy youtwi and cause, I w-wouwd n-nyot s-stay. -BOWINGBWOKE. Then, Engwand's g-gwound, *shuffles closer* faweweww; sweet soiw, adieu; -My mothew, and m-my nyuwse, t-that beaws me yet! -*pokes you* Whewe'ew I wandew, boast of *notices bulge* this I can: -Though b-banyish'd, yet a twuebown E-Engwish man. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. -W-Wondon. *sighs* The couwt - -E-Entew the KING, with BAGOT a-and GWEEN, at onye doow; -*sweats* and t-the DUKE >_> OF AUMEWWE *pokes you* at anyothew - -UwU KING WICHAWD. We did obsewve. Cousin ^.^ Aumewwe, -How faw bwought you high Hewefowd on his *pokes you* way? -A-AUMEWWE. I *teleports behind you* bwought high Hewefowd, if you caww him so, -But to the *cuddles you* nyext high way, ^.^ and thewe I-I weft him. -KING WICHAWD. And say, w-what stowe of ^w^ pawting teaws ^.^ wewe shed? -AUMEWWE. Faith, nyonye fow *looks at you* me; except the nyowth-east wind, -*notices bulge* Which t-then bwew bittewwy against ouw f-faces, -Awak'd OwO the sweeping *hugs tightly* wheum, and so by chance -Did gwace ouw *sighs* howwow p-pawting with a teaw. -KING WICHAWD. What said o-ouw cousin when you >_< pawted with him? -A-AUMEWWE. 'Faweweww.' -And, fow my heawt disdainyed t-that my tongue -Shouwd s-so pwofanye the wowd, that taught me cwaft -To countewfeit oppwession o-of such g-gwief -That wowds seem'd buwied xDD in my sowwow's *hugs tightly* gwave. -Mawwy, wouwd the wowd 'faweweww' xDD have wength'nyed h-houws -And added yeaws to his showt banyishment, -He >_< shouwd *sweats* have had a vowume of fawewewws; -But since it wouwd nyot, *hugs tightly* he had nyonye o-of m-me. -KING *notices bulge* WICHAWD. He is ouw cousin, cousin; but *sweats* 'tis d-doubt, -^w^ When time shaww caww him home *leans over* fwom banyishment, -Whethew *notices bulge* ouw kinsman *leans over* come *pokes you* to see his fwiends. -Ouwsewf, and Bushy, Bagot hewe, and Gween, -*hugs tightly* Obsewv'd his *shuffles closer* couwtship to the common peopwe; -How he did seem to dive into theiw heawts -W-With humbwe a-and famiwiaw couwtesy; -*blushes* What wevewence he did thwow away on *leans over* swaves, -Wooing poow cwaftsmen with the OwO cwaft of smiwes -And patient undewbeawing of his fowtunye, -As 'twewe to banyish theiw affects *notices bulge* with him. -Off goes h-his bonnyet ^.^ to an oystew-wench; -A bwace of dwaymen bid God speed him weww -And had the twibute of h-his *cuddles you* suppwe knyee, -With 'Thanks, my countwymen, my woving fwiends'; -As wewe ouw Engwand in wevewsion his, -And he ouw subjects' n-nyext degwee in hope. -GWEEN. Weww, h-he *sweats* is gonye; and with him uWu go these thoughts! -Nyow fow t-the webews which stand out i-in Iwewand, -Expedient manyage must be made, my wiege, -Ewe fuwthew weisuwe yicwd them fuwthew means -F-Fow theiw advantage *pokes you* and youw Highnyess' woss. -*leans over* KING WICHAWD. We wiww ouwsewf in *leans over* pewson to this waw; -*pokes you* And, fow ouw coffews, with too gweat a couwt -And wibewaw *leans over* wawgess, awe gwown *screams* somewhat wight, -We awe enfowc'd to fawm ouw woyaw weawm; -The wevenyue wheweof shaww fuwnyish *cries* us -*teleports behind you* Fow ouw affaiws i-in hand. If that come showt, -Ouw substitutes at home shaww have bwank chawtews; -Wheweto, when they shaww *giggles shyly* knyow what men awe *teleports behind you* wich, -*sweats* They shaww subscwibe them fow wawge sums of g-gowd, -And send them aftew to suppwy ouw wants; -Fow *moans* we *looks at you* wiww make fow Iwewand pwesentwy. - -Entew BUSHY - -Bushy, what n-nyews? -BUSHY. Owd John of Gaunt i-is gwievous sick, *teleports behind you* my wowd, -Suddenwy taken; a-and hath sent *teleports behind you* poste-haste -T-To entweat youw Majesty to visit him. -K-KING WICHAWD. Whewe wies he? -BUSHY. At Ewy House. -:3 KING WICHAWD. Nyow put it, God, in the physician's :33 mind -To h-hewp him >_< to *cries* his gwave immediatewy! -The winying of his coffews s-shaww make coats -To deck ouw sowdiews fow these *teleports behind you* Iwish waws. -*sweats* Come, gentwemen, wet's aww go *twerks* visit h-him. -P-Pway *hugs tightly* God we may *blushes* make haste, and come *screams* too *looks away* wate! -AWW. Amen. E-Exeunt - - - - -<_< COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED *looks away* COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME *looks away* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE I. -Wondon. Ewy House - -*twerks* Entew JOHN O-OF GAUNT, sick, with the DUKE OF *cuddles you* YOWK, etc. - -GAUNT. >w< Wiww the King come, that I *cries* may b-bweathe my wast -In whowesome counsew to his unstaid youth? -YOWK. Vex nyot youwsewf, nyow stwive nyot with youw bweath; -*giggles shyly* Fow aww in vain comes counsew to *shuffles closer* his eaw. -GAUNT. O, but they say the tongues of *cuddles you* dying xDD men -Enfowce attention wike d-deep hawmony. -Whewe wowds a-awe scawce, they awe sewdom spent in vain; -Fow t-they bweathe twuth that *twerks* bweathe theiw wowds -in pain. -He that *pokes you* nyo mowe must say is wisten'd mowe -Than they whom youth and e-ease have taught to gwose; -M-Mowe awe men's ends m-mawk'd than theiw wives befowe. -The setting sun, and music at the cwose, -A-As the wast t-taste of sweets, is *hugs tightly* sweetest wast, -Wwit i-in wemembwance mowe than things wong past. -T-Though ^.^ Wichawd my wife's c-counsew wouwd nyot heaw, -My death's sad tawe m-may yet undeaf his eaw. -YOWK. Nyo; i-it is stopp'd with >w< othew fwattewing s-sounds, -As pwaises, of *teleports behind you* whose taste t-the w-wise ^-^ awe f-fond, -Wascivious metwes, to whose venyom sound -The open eaw of youth doth awways wisten; -Wepowt of fashions in pwoud Itawy, -W-Whose m-mannyews stiww ouw tawdy apish nyation -Wimps aftew i-in base imitation. -*sweats* Whewe doth the wowwd thwust fowth a vanyity- -So i-it be nyew, thewe's nyo wespect how viwe- -That is nyot quickwy buzz'd >_< into *moans* his eaws? -Then aww too wate x3 comes *giggles shyly* counsew to be heawd -Whewe wiww doth mutiny with wit's wegawd. -Diwect nyot him whose w-way h-himsewf wiww c-choose. -'-'Tis bweath thou w-wack'st, and that bweath *teleports behind you* wiwt thou wose. -GAUNT. Methinks I am a *leans over* pwophet nyew inspiw'd, -And t-thus expiwing uWu do foweteww of him: -His wash fiewce bwaze of wiot cannyot wast, -Fow viowent fiwes soon buwn o-out *twerks* themsewves; -Smaww showews wast wong, but sudden stowms awe showt; -He tiwes betimes that *leans over* spuws too fast betimes; -W-With eagew feeding f-food doth c-choke the feedew; -Wight vanyity, insatiate cowmowant, -Consuming >w< means, soon pweys upon itsewf. -This woyaw thwonye of kings, this scept'wed iswe, -This eawth of majesty, this seat of Maws, -This othew Eden, *pokes you* demi-pawadise, -This fowtwess buiwt by Nyatuwe fow hewsewf -Against i-infection and the hand of waw, -This happy *cries* bweed of men, this wittwe *hugs tightly* wowwd, -This pwecious s-stonye set *looks away* in the *shuffles closer* siwvew sea, -Which sewves it in the o-office of a waww, -Ow as a-a moat defensive to a house, -Against the envy of wess happiew wands; -This bwessed p-pwot, this e-eawth, this weawm, this E-Engwand, -This nyuwse, this UwU teeming womb of woyaw kings, -Feaw'd by theiw bweed, *moans* and famous by >_> theiw biwth, -Wenyownyed fow theiw :3 deeds as faw f-fwom *sweats* home, -Fow Chwistian *looks at you* sewvice and twue chivawwy, -As is the sepuwchwe in s-stubbown Jewwy -*blushes* Of :33 the wowwd's wansom, bwessed Mawy's Son; -This wand of such deaw souws, this deaw deaw wand, -Deaw f-fow hew ^-^ weputation thwough the wowwd, -I-Is nyow weas'd out-I *looks away* die pwonyouncing i-it- -Wike to a tenyement >w< ow pewting fawm. -Engwand, bound OwO in with t-the twiumphant sea, -Whose wocky showe beats back ;;w;; the envious siege -:3 Of *looks away* wat'wy N-Nyeptunye, is nyow bound xDD in with s-shame, -W-With inky *sighs* bwots and w-wotten >w< pawchment bonds; -*moans* That E-Engwand, that was wont to conquew othews, -Hath *moans* made a shamefuw conquest of itsewf. -;;w;; Ah, w-wouwd the s-scandaw vanyish with my wife, -How happy then wewe *teleports behind you* my e-ensuing death! - -Entew *sighs* KING and QUEEN, AUMEWWE, B-BUSHY, *giggles shyly* GWEEN, B-BAGOT, -Woss, and W-WIWWOUGHBY - -;;w;; YOWK. The King is come; *notices bulge* deaw m-miwdwy ;;w;; with his youth, -Fow young hot cowts >w< being w-wag'd do ^w^ wage the mowe. -QUEEN. How fawes ouw *twerks* nyobwe uncwe ^w^ Wancastew? -KING WICHAWD. What comfowt, *moans* man? How is't w-with aged Gaunt? -G-GAUNT. O, h-how that nyame befits my composition! -Owd Gaunt, indeed; and gaunt in being owd. -Within me gwief :33 hath kept a tedious fast; -And who a-abstains fwom meat that is nyot gaunt? -Fow sweeping ^-^ Engwand wong time have I watch'd; -Watching bweeds weannyess, weannyess *teleports behind you* is an gaunt. -The pweasuwe *sighs* that some fathews *moans* feed u-upon -*cuddles you* Is my stwict fast-I mean my chiwdwen's xDD wooks; -And thewein fasting, hast thou made me *twerks* gaunt. -Gaunt am I f-fow the g-gwave, gaunt as a g-gwave, -Whose howwow womb *cries* inhewits nyought but bonyes. -KING WICHAWD. Can sick men pway so nyicewy with theiw nyames? -GAUNT. Nyo, misewy m-makes spowt to >_> mock itsewf: -Since thou dost seek t-to kiww my nyame in me, -I m-mock my n-nyame, g-gweat king, to fwattew thee. -KING W-WICHAWD. Shouwd dying *sweats* men fwattew *shuffles closer* with those *twerks* that w-wive? -GAUNT. N-Nyo, nyo; men wiving fwattew t-those that die. -KING WICHAWD. Thou, nyow a-dying, sayest t-thou fwattewest me. -GAUNT. O-O, nyo! >_> thou diest, though OwO I the sickew be. -KING WICHAWD. I *screams* am in heawth, I bweathe, and see thee iww. -GAUNT. Nyow He that m-made me knyows I see xDD thee iww; -Iww in mysewf to see, and in thee s-seeing iww. -Thy death-bed is nyo w-wessew than thy wand -Whewein t-thou wiest in w-weputation sick; -*twerks* And thou, too cawewess patient as thou awt, -*cries* Commit'st thy anyointed body to the cuwe -Of those p-physicians *notices bulge* that fiwst wounded thee: -A t-thousand fwattewews sit >_< within thy c-cwown, -Whose compass is nyo biggew than thy head; -And yet, incaged in so smaww a >_> vewge, -The waste is nyo whit wessew than *looks at you* thy wand. -O, ^.^ had thy gwandsiwe with a-a pwophet's eye -*moans* Seen how his ;;w;; son's son shouwd *notices bulge* destwoy his *sighs* sons, -Fwom f-fowth thy *moans* weach he wouwd >_< have waid thy shame, -Deposing thee befowe thou wewt possess'd, -Which ^w^ awt possess'd nyow to uWu depose xDD thysewf. -*hugs tightly* Why, cousin, wewt *hugs tightly* thou wegent of the wowwd, -It wewe a shame to wet t-this wand b-by wease; -But f-fow thy wowwd *blushes* enjoying but this wand, -Is it nyot mowe than shame to shame it so? -Wandwowd of Engwand awt thou :33 nyow, nyot *looks at you* King. -UwU Thy state of waw is bondswave *cries* to the waw; -And thou- -KING WICHAWD. A wunyatic wean-witted foow, -Pwesuming on an ague's UwU pwiviwege, -Dawest with thy fwozen ^w^ admonyition -Make p-pawe ouw c-cheek, *giggles shyly* chasing the woyaw bwood -With *leans over* fuwy fwom his nyative *cries* wesidence. -Nyow by my seat's wight woyaw majesty, -Wewt thou *notices bulge* nyot bwothew x3 to gweat Edwawd's son, -This tongue that *looks at you* wuns s-so woundwy in thy head -Shouwd wun thy head fwom thy *leans over* unwevewent shouwdews. -GAUNT. O, S-Spawe me nyot, my bwothew Edwawd's son, -Fow that I was his fathew Edwawd's *leans over* son; -That bwood awweady, wike the pewican, -*cuddles you* Hast thou tapp'd out, and dwunkenwy cawous'd. -My bwothew Gwoucestew, pwain weww-meanying ^w^ souw- -Whom faiw b-befaww i-in *teleports behind you* heaven 'mongst :33 happy souws!- -May be x3 a pwecedent and >w< witnyess good -T-That thou wespect'st nyot spiwwing Edwawd's bwood. -J-Join with the pwesent sicknyess that I-I *looks away* have; -And thy unkindnyess be *looks away* wike *moans* cwooked age, -To cwop at once a too wong withewed *giggles shyly* fwowew. -Wive in *giggles shyly* thy shame, but die nyot shame w-with ;;w;; thee! -These wowds h-heweaftew thy towmentows be! -Convey m-me to my bed, then to my gwave. -Wove they to *looks at you* wive that wove *giggles shyly* and honyouw have. -Exit, bownye out *cries* by his attendants -KING xDD WICHAWD. And wet them die that age and suwwens *sighs* have; -Fow both hast thou, and both become *cries* the gwave. -YOWK. I ^w^ do beseech youw *screams* Majesty *moans* impute h-his wowds -To waywawd sickwinyess a-and age in him. -He w-woves you, on my wife, and howds you *twerks* deaw -As *leans over* Hawwy Duke o-of Hewefowd, ;;w;; wewe he hewe. -K-KING WICHAWD. Wight, you say twue: as Hewefowd's w-wove, so his; -As theiws, so minye; and aww be >_< as *leans over* it is. - -E-Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. My wiege, owd Gaunt commends him *blushes* to youw Majesty. -KING WICHAWD. What says he? -N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO Nyay, *sweats* nyothing; aww is said. -His tongue *giggles shyly* is OwO nyow a s-stwingwess instwument; -Wowds, wife, and aww, owd Wancastew hath spent. -YOWK. Be Yowk the nyext that m-must be bankwupt *sweats* so! -Though death *teleports behind you* be p-poow, it ends a mowtaw w-woe. -KING WICHAWD. *giggles shyly* The wipest fwuit fiwst fawws, *notices bulge* and so doth he; -His time is spent, *hugs tightly* ouw piwgwimage must be. -So much fow that. Nyow fow ouw Iwish waws. -*cuddles you* We must suppwant those wough w-wug-headed kewns, -W-Which wive wike venyom whewe nyo venyom ewse -But onwy they *twerks* have pwiviwege t-to >_< wive. -And fow t-these g-gweat affaiws OwO do ask some chawge, -Towawds *hugs tightly* ouw *looks at you* assistance we do seize to us -xDD The uWu pwate, coin, w-wevenyues, *cuddles you* and moveabwes, -Wheweof ouw u-uncwe Gaunt d-did stand *giggles shyly* possess'd. -YOWK. *looks away* How wong shaww I be patient? Ah, how *cuddles you* wong -Shaww tendew duty make me *giggles shyly* suffew wwong? -N-Nyot Gwoucestew's death, nyow Hewefowd's banyishment, -Nyow Gaunt's webukes, nyow Engwand's *twerks* pwivate wwongs, -Nyow the pwevention *leans over* of poow Bowingbwoke -uWu About his mawwiage, nyow my own disgwace, -Have evew made me souw my patient *looks away* cheek -Ow *cries* bend o-onye wwinkwe on my soveweign's *cuddles you* face. -I am *screams* the *looks away* wast of nyobwe Edwawd's sons, -Of whom thy fathew, OwO Pwince o-of Wawes, *cuddles you* was *looks at you* fiwst. -In waw was nyevew wion wag'd mowe UwU fiewce, -In peace was nyevew gentwe wamb mowe miwd, -Than was that young and pwincewy gentweman. -His face thou hast, ;;w;; fow even so *blushes* wook'd *giggles shyly* he, -Accompwish'd with the nyumbew of thy *cuddles you* houws; -But when *leans over* he fwown'd, i-it was against the Fwench -And nyot against his fwiends. His nyobwe hand -Did win w-what he did spend, and spent nyot that -Which his twiumphant fathew's hand had won. -His h-hands wewe guiwty *shuffles closer* of nyo ^.^ kindwed bwood, -But bwoody with the enyemies of his kin. -*looks at you* O Wichawd! *giggles shyly* Yowk is too faw uWu gonye with gwief, -Ow ewse he nyevew wouwd compawe between- -KING ;;w;; WICHAWD. Why, uncwe, what's the mattew? -Y-YOWK. O my wiege, ->w< Pawdon me, if you pwease; if nyot, I, pweas'd -Nyot to be pawdonyed, am content withaw. -Seek you to seize and gwipe i-into youw h-hands -The woyawties *sweats* and wights of banyish'd Hewefowd? -Is nyot Gaunt dead? and doth nyot >_> Hewefowd wive? -W-Was nyot Gaunt just? and is ^w^ nyot H-Hawwy twue? -Did ^w^ nyot >_< the onye desewve to have an heiw? -*twerks* Is *leans over* nyot his h-heiw a weww-desewving son? -Take Hewefowd's *sweats* wights away, and take fwom Time -His chawtews and ^w^ his customawy wights; -Wet nyot to-mowwow then ensue to-day; -Be nyot thysewf-fow how awt *pokes you* thou a-a *teleports behind you* king -But by faiw sequence and succession? -N-Nyow, afowe God-God f-fowbid I say t-twue!- -If you do wwongfuwwy seize Hewefowd's wights, -Caww in *blushes* the wettews patents that he hath -By his *pokes you* attownyeys-genyewaw ^-^ to sue -His wivewy, and deny *moans* his off'wed *sighs* homage, -You pwuck a thousand *blushes* dangews on youw *shuffles closer* head, -You ^w^ wose a thousand *giggles shyly* weww-disposed heawts, -And xDD pwick my tendew patience *sweats* to those thoughts -Which honyouw and *giggles shyly* awwegiance cannyot t-think. -K-KING WICHAWD. *sighs* Think *blushes* what ^-^ you wiww, we seize into uWu ouw *giggles shyly* hands -His pwate, his goods, his monyey, x3 and his w-wands. -YOWK. I'ww nyot be by the whiwe. My wiege, *looks away* faweweww. -What wiww ensue heweof thewe's n-nyonye can teww; -But by bad couwses *blushes* may *sweats* be u-undewstood -UwU That *blushes* theiw events can nyevew faww out good. Exit -KING WICHAWD. Go, Bushy, to the Eaww of W-Wiwtshiwe stwaight; -Bid h-him wepaiw t-to us to Ewy H-House -T-To see this businyess. To-mowwow nyext -We uWu wiww fow Iwewand; and 'tis time, I twow. -And we *cuddles you* cweate, in *shuffles closer* absence of >w< ouwsewf, -Ouw Uncwe Yowk Wowd G-Govewnyow of E-Engwand; -Fow he *looks away* is j-just, and awways w-wov'd us weww. -Come *notices bulge* on, *cuddles you* ouw queen; to-mowwow must we pawt; -Be mewwy, fow ouw time of stay is s-showt. -Fwouwish. Exeunt KING, QUEEN, BUSHY, AUMEWWE, -GWEEN, and BAGOT -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ;;w;; Weww, wowds, the Duke of *cuddles you* Wancastew *giggles shyly* is dead. -Woss. And >_< wiving too; fow n-nyow his son >w< is Duke. -WIWWOUGHBY. Bawewy in titwe, nyot in >_> wevenyues. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Wichwy in both, if justice had hew wight. -WOSS. My heawt *looks at you* is gweat; b-but it *leans over* must bweak with siwence, -Ewe't be ^-^ disbuwdenyed with a wibewaw tongue. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyay, speak thy ^.^ mind; ^-^ and wet him nye'ew speak mowe -That ^.^ speaks thy UwU wowds again to do t-thee hawm! -WIWWOUGHBY. Tends that thou w-wouwdst speak to *screams* the Duke of Hewefowd? -If it be *looks away* so, out with *giggles shyly* it bowdwy, man; -Quick is minye eaw to heaw of good towawds him. -W-WOSS. Nyo good at aww ^-^ that I-I can do fow him; -Unwess you *pokes you* caww it g-good to pity him, -Beweft and *giggles shyly* gewded of his patwimony. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyow, afowe G-God, '-'tis shame such wwongs a-awe bownye -In him, a woyaw pwince, *moans* and many moe -Of nyobwe bwood in this decwinying wand. -The King >_< is nyot himsewf, x3 but basewy wed -By *cries* fwattewews; and what t-they wiww i-infowm, -M-Mewewy in hate, '-'gainst a-any of u-us a-an, -That wiww the King sevewewy pwosecute -'Gainst us, ouw wives, ouw chiwdwen, :3 and ouw heiws. -WOSS. *giggles shyly* The commons h-hath h-he piww'd with *notices bulge* gwievous taxes; -*shuffles closer* And quite wost theiw heawts; t-the nyobwes hath he find -:3 Fow ancient quawwews and q-quite wost theiw heawts. -WIWWOUGHBY. *looks at you* And daiwy nyew exactions awe d-devis'd, -As bwanks, benyevowences, a-and I wot nyot what; -B-But what, a-a God's n-nyame, doth become ^w^ of *cuddles you* this? -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Waws hath nyot wasted it, fow x3 waww'd h-he hath nyot, -But basewy yiewded upon compwomise -That *twerks* which his nyobwe ancestows achiev'd with bwows. -Mowe x3 hath he spent in peace OwO than they in waws. -x3 WOSS. The Eaww ^w^ of Wiwtshiwe hath the OwO weawm in fawm. -WIWWOUGHBY. The *twerks* King's *sweats* gwown b-bankwupt wike *cries* a bwoken man. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Wepwoach and dissowution hangeth ovew him. -WOSS. He hath nyot monyey fow these Iwish UwU waws, -His buwdenyous taxations nyotwithstanding, -But by the *screams* wobbing ^w^ of t-the banyish'd Duke. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. His nyobwe kinsman-most degenyewate UwU king! -But, wowds, we heaw this feawfuw tempest x3 sing, -*pokes you* Yet seek *giggles shyly* nyo shewtew to avoid the stowm; -W-We s-see the w-wind sit sowe upon ouw ^w^ saiws, -And yet we stwike nyot, *looks at you* but secuwewy pewish. -WOSS. *cries* We see the vewy wweck that we m-must s-suffew; -And unyavoided is the dangew nyow -Fow suffewing so the causes of ouw wweck. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyot s-so; OwO even thwough the howwow eyes of death -I spy wife peewing; but I dawe nyot say -How nyeaw *blushes* the tidings of ouw comfowt is. -WIWWOUGHBY. Nyay, wet us shawe thy thoughts as xDD thou dost ouws. -W-WOSS. Be >w< confident to *shuffles closer* speak, Nyowthumbewwand. -We thwee >_< awe b-but thysewf, and, speaking so, -Thy wowds awe but as thoughts; t-thewefowe >_< be bowd. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Then t-thus: I have *twerks* fwom We Powt Bwanc, a b-bay -In *leans over* Bwittany, ^-^ weceiv'd intewwigence -That Hawwy Duke of Hewefowd, Wainyowd Wowd Cobham, -*teleports behind you* That x3 wate bwoke fwom OwO the Duke of Exetew, ->_> His bwothew, Awchbishop wate of *cries* Cantewbuwy, -Siw Thomas Ewpingham, Siw John Wamston, -Siw J-John Nyowbewy, Siw Wobewt W-Watewton, and Fwancis Quoint- -Aww *looks at you* these, weww fuwnyish'd by the Duke *cuddles you* of Bwitainye, -With eight x3 taww s-ships, thwee thousand men of *sighs* waw, -Awe making hithew with aww due expedience, -And showtwy mean to touch OwO ouw ^.^ nyowthewn showe. -Pewhaps ;;w;; they xDD had ewe this, but that they stay -The fiwst depawting of the King *sweats* fow Iwewand. -If t-then we shaww shake off ouw swavish yoke, -Imp out ouw dwooping countwy's bwoken wing, -Wedeem fwom bwoking x3 pawn the >_< bwemish'd cwown, ->w< Wipe off the dust that hides ouw s-sceptwe's giwt, -And make high majesty w-wook wike itsewf, -Away with me in post to Wavenspuwgh; -B-But *pokes you* if ^.^ you f-faint, as feawing t-to do so, -Stay a-and be secwet, and *looks at you* mysewf wiww *cuddles you* go. -WOSS. To howse, to howse! Uwge doubts to *blushes* them that feaw. -WIWWOUGHBY. Howd out my howse, and I wiww fiwst be thewe. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. -W-Windsow Castwe - -E-Entew QUEEN, BUSHY, and BAGOT - -BUSHY. Madam, youw Majesty i-is too much *cries* sad. -You pwomis'd, >_< when you p-pawted *cuddles you* with the *shuffles closer* King, -T-To x3 way aside *blushes* wife-hawming h-heavinyess -And e-entewtain *notices bulge* a cheewfuw disposition. -QUEEN. T-To pwease the King, I OwO did; to *twerks* pwease x3 mysewf -I c-cannyot do it; yet I knyow nyo cause -Why I-I shouwd wewcome such a guest as gwief, -Save x3 bidding faweweww to so sweet a guest -As my sweet Wichawd. Yet again methinks -Some unbown sowwow, wipe in fowtunye's womb, -I-Is c-coming towawds *hugs tightly* me, and my i-inwawd souw -With nyothing twembwes. A-At some t-thing it gwieves -Mowe than >w< with pawting fwom m-my wowd t-the K-King. -*looks away* BUSHY. Each s-substance of a gwief hath twenty shadows, -Which shows wike *leans over* gwief itsewf, but is nyot so; -Fow sowwow's eye, gwazed with bwinding teaws, -Divides o-onye ^w^ thing entiwe to m-many objects, -Wike >w< pewspectives which, wightwy gaz'd upon, -S-Show nyothing but confusion-ey'd awwy, -Distinguish fowm. So youw sweet Majesty, -Wooking awwy upon youw wowd's depawtuwe, -Find shapes of *giggles shyly* gwief ^.^ mowe than himsewf to waiw; -Which, :3 wook'd on as it is, is nyought but *moans* shadows -Of w-what it is nyot. T-Then, thwice-gwacious Queen, -Mowe than youw wowd's depawtuwe weep nyot-mowe i-is n-nyot seen; ->_< Ow if it be, 'tis *leans over* with fawse s-sowwow's :3 eye, -Which f-fow things twue weeps *moans* things imaginyawy. -QUEEN. It may be so; but yet *giggles shyly* my inwawd souw -Pewsuades me i-it is othewwise. Howe'ew it be, -I cannyot but be sad; so >_> heavy sad -As-though, on thinking, on n-nyo thought I >_< think- -Makes me with heavy n-nyothing faint *shuffles closer* and shwink. -BUSHY. 'Tis nyothing but conceit, *cries* my gwacious w-wady. -Q-QUEEN. 'Tis nyothing w-wess: conceit is stiww dewiv'd -Fwom some f-fowefathew gwief; minye x3 is UwU nyot so, -Fow nyothing hath begot my something gwief, -Ow something h-hath the nyothing that *cries* I g-gwieve; -'Tis *screams* in wevewsion that I do *blushes* possess- -But what it is that is nyot y-yet knyown what, -I cannyot *hugs tightly* nyame; 'tis nyamewess woe, *shuffles closer* I w-wot. - -Entew G-GWEEN - -GWEEN. God save youw Majesty! and weww met, gentwemen. -I hope the x3 King is n-nyot yet shipp'd fow Iwewand. -QUEEN. Why hopest thou so? *cries* 'Tis bettew hope *shuffles closer* he is; -F-Fow his designs c-cwave h-haste, his haste good hope. -Then whewefowe dost t-thou hope he is nyot *hugs tightly* shipp'd? -GWEEN. That he, *pokes you* ouw hope, m-might have w-wetiw'd his p-powew -And dwiven into despaiw *blushes* an e-enyemy's *looks away* hope -Who stwongwy hath *pokes you* set footing in this wand. -xDD The banyish'd Bowingbwoke wepeaws himsewf, -And with :3 upwifted a-awms is safe awwiv'd -At Wavenspuwgh. -*moans* QUEEN. N-Nyow God in heaven fowbid! -GWEEN. A-Ah, madam, 'tis too twue; *looks away* and that ^.^ is wowse, -The Wowd Nyowthumbewwand, h-his s-son young H-Henwy Pewcy, -The Wowds o-of Woss, Beaumond, and *sighs* Wiwwoughby, -With aww theiw powewfuw x3 fwiends, UwU awe fwed t-to him. -BUSHY. Why have you nyot pwocwaim'd Nyowthumbewwand -And aww the west wevowted faction ^-^ twaitows? -GWEEN. We have; uWu wheweupon the Eaww :33 of Wowcestew -Hath b-bwoken his staff, wesign'd his ^w^ stewawdship, -And uWu aww the househowd sewvants fwed with him -To B-Bowingbwoke. -QUEEN. So, *pokes you* Gween, t-thou awt t-the midwife to my woe, -And Bowingbwoke my sowwow's dismaw heiw. -Nyow x3 hath my souw bwought fowth hew pwodigy; -*pokes you* And I, *sighs* a g-gasping nyew-dewivew'd mothew, -Have woe to woe, xDD sowwow to sowwow join'd. -BUSHY. Despaiw *cries* nyot, madam. -QUEEN. Who shaww hindew me? -I wiww despaiw, and be at enmity -With cozenying h-hope-he is a fwattewew, -A-A pawasite, a keepew-back o-of death, -Who g-gentwy w-wouwd dissowve the *blushes* bands of w-wife, -*looks away* Which fawse hope wingews in extwemity. - -Entew YOWK - -GWEEN. Hewe comes the Duke of Yowk. -QUEEN. With signs of waw about h-his *cries* aged nyeck. -*blushes* O, fuww of cawefuw businyess awe UwU his wooks! -Uncwe, fow God's sake, *sighs* speak comfowtabwe w-wowds. -YOWK. Shouwd I *cuddles you* do *giggles shyly* so, I shouwd bewie my thoughts. -*sweats* Comfowt's in heaven; a-and OwO we awe on the e-eawth, -Whewe nyothing wives but cwosses, cawes, and g-gwief. -;;w;; Youw husband, *looks at you* he is gonye to save faw off, -Whiwst othews c-come to m-make him wose at h-home. -Hewe am I weft to undewpwop his wand, -Who, weak with age, cannyot s-suppowt *teleports behind you* mysewf. -Nyow comes the sick houw uWu that his suwfeit made; -Nyow shaww he x3 twy his fwiends that fwattew'd him. - -Entew a SEWVINGMAN - -S-SEWVINGMAN. My wowd, youw son was gonye *blushes* befowe I *shuffles closer* came. -YOWK. He was-why *sighs* so go aww which way it w-wiww! -The *moans* nyobwes t-they awe fwed, the *blushes* commons *sighs* they *moans* awe cowd -And wiww, I feaw, wevowt o-on Hewefowd's *cries* side. -Siwwah, get thee to Pwashy, to my sistew Gwoucestew; -B-Bid hew send me pwesentwy a thousand p-pound. -Howd, take my uWu wing. -SEWVINGMAN. My w-wowd, I had fowgot UwU to teww youw wowdship, -To-day, as I came by, I-I cawwed *leans over* thewe- -But I shaww gwieve you t-to wepowt the west. -YOWK. What is't, knyave? -SEWVINGMAN. An houw befowe I came, t-the Duchess died. -YOWK. G-God *giggles shyly* fow his xDD mewcy! what a tide of woes -Comes w-wushing on this woefuw wand *blushes* at ^.^ once! -I knyow nyot what to do. I w-wouwd to God, -S-So my untwuth had nyot pwovok'd him to it, -The King had *moans* cut off my head with my bwothew's. -What, awe thewe nyo posts dispatch'd fow Iwewand? -How shaww we do *cuddles you* fow monyey fow t-these waws? -*teleports behind you* Come, sistew-cousin, I wouwd s-say-pway, pawdon me. -Go, fewwow, *sighs* get thee home, pwovide some cawts, ->_> And bwing away the *pokes you* awmouw that i-is thewe. -Exit SEWVINGMAN -Gentwemen, w-wiww y-you go mustew men? -*leans over* If I *shuffles closer* knyow how ow which ^.^ way to owdew these affaiws -Thus disowdewwy thwust x3 into my hands, -N-Nyevew >_< bewieve me. Both awe my kinsmen. -T'onye is my soveweign, whom both my o-oath -And duty *sighs* bids defend; t-t'othew again -Is my OwO kinsman, whom *leans over* the King h-hath xDD wwong'd, -Whom conscience and my kindwed bids to wight. -Weww, somewhat we must do.-Come, cousin, -*looks away* I'ww dispose of you. Gentwemen, go mustew up youw men -And meet me pwesentwy at Bewkewey. -I shouwd to Pwashy >w< too, -But time wiww nyot pewmit. A-Aww is >w< unyeven, -And evewything is weft *pokes you* at s-six and seven. -Exeunt YOWK and Q-QUEEN -BUSHY. *cries* The wind *giggles shyly* sits faiw fow nyews to go to *sighs* Iwewand. -But nyonye wetuwns. Fow us t-to wevy p-powew -Pwopowtionyabwe t-to the enyemy -Is uWu aww unpossibwe. -GWEEN. Besides, ouw nyeawnyess t-to the King in wove -Is *cries* nyeaw the hate of those wove nyot the *sweats* King. -BAGOT. And that UwU is t-the wavewing commons; fow theiw wove -Wies in theiw puwses; and whoso empties them, -By so much fiwws theiw heawts with *looks away* deadwy hate. -BUSHY. *moans* Whewein the King stands :3 genyewawwy condemn'd. -BAGOT. If judgment wie *cuddles you* in t-them, t-then so do we, -Because w-we evew have b-been nyeaw the King. -GWEEN. Weww, I-I wiww fow wefuge stwaight t-to Bwistow Castwe. -The Eaww of Wiwtshiwe is awweady t-thewe. -BUSHY. Thithew wiww ^w^ I with you; *cuddles you* fow >_> wittwe office -Wiww the h-hatefuw *cuddles you* commons p-pewfowm fow us, -Except Eke cuws to teaw us aww to pieces. -Wiww you go *pokes you* awong *sweats* with us? -BAGOT. N-Nyo; I wiww to Iwewand to his Majesty. -Faweweww. If *looks at you* heawt's p-pwesages be nyot vain, -W-We thwee hewe pawt that ^-^ nye'ew shaww meet again. -BUSHY. That's as Yowk thwives to beat back Bowingbwoke. -GWEEN. Awas, p-poow Duke! t-the task he *cries* undewtakes -Is nyumb'wing sands and UwU dwinking oceans dwy. -Whewe onye on his s-side fights, thousands wiww fwy. -Faweweww at once-fow o-once, fow aww, and evew. -BUSHY. Weww, we may meet again. -BAGOT. I feaw me, nyevew. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. -G-Gwoucestewshiwe - -Entew B-BOWINGBWOKE and NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, >_< fowces - -BOWINGBWOKE. How faw is it, my *shuffles closer* wowd, to Bewkewey nyow? -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ;;w;; Bewieve me, n-nyobwe wowd, -I am a stwangew hewe in Gwoucestewshiwe. -*teleports behind you* These *sweats* high wiwd h-hiwws and wough unyeven w-ways -*looks away* Dwaws out ouw miwes, and makes *looks at you* them w-weawisome; -And yet youw faiw *cries* discouwse hath been as s-sugaw, -Making the hawd way :33 sweet *cries* and *hugs tightly* dewectabwe. -But *sighs* I bethink me what *pokes you* a weawy way -Fwom Wavenspuwgh t-to Cotswowd wiww be found -I-In :33 Woss and *sighs* Wiwwoughby, wanting youw c-company, -Which, I p-pwotest, hath vewy much >w< beguiw'd -*sighs* The OwO tediousnyess and *hugs tightly* pwocess of my twavew. -But theiws *cuddles you* is s-sweet'nyed with the hope to *hugs tightly* have -The pwesent benyefit which I possess; -And hope t-to joy is wittwe wess *notices bulge* in joy -T-Than hope enjoy'd. By this the weawy wowds -Shaww make >_< theiw *moans* way s-seem *moans* showt, as minye hath d-donye -By sight of what I-I have, youw nyobwe company. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. Of much w-wess vawue is ;;w;; my company -Than youw good wowds. B-But who comes hewe? - -*pokes you* Entew HAWWY PEWCY - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. It is m-my son, young Hawwy Pewcy, -Sent fwom my ^w^ bwothew Wowcestew, whencesoevew. -*teleports behind you* Hawwy, how fawes youw uncwe? -PEWCY. x3 I had thought, my w-wowd, to have weawn'd his heawth of you. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Why, i-is h-he n-nyot w-with the Queen? -PEWCY. Nyo, *twerks* my *pokes you* good wowd; he hath fowsook the couwt, -*cuddles you* Bwoken *notices bulge* his *notices bulge* staff of office, a-and dispews'd -The househowd of the King. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. What was his weason? -H-He was nyot so w-wesowv'd when *sighs* wast we spake t-togethew. -PEWCY. Because youw wowdship was pwocwaimed t-twaitow. -But he, my wowd, is gonye to Wavenspuwgh, -To *blushes* offew sewvice *hugs tightly* to the Duke of Hewefowd; -And sent *pokes you* me ovew by Bewkewey, to discovew -What powew the Duke of Yowk had wevied thewe; -T-Then x3 with diwections *cries* to wepaiw to Wavenspuwgh. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Have you fowgot the Duke of ;;w;; Hewefowd, boy? -PEWCY. Nyo, *hugs tightly* my good OwO wowd; fow that *shuffles closer* is n-nyot fowgot -Which *cuddles you* nye'ew I did wemembew; to :33 my knyowwedge, -I *cuddles you* nyevew i-in my wife did wook on him. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ Then weawn to knyow him *teleports behind you* nyow; this is the Duke. -P-PEWCY. My gwacious wowd, I tendew you my s-sewvice, -Such *teleports behind you* as it is, being t-tendew, waw, a-and young; -Which ^.^ ewdew days shaww wipen, and confiwm -*moans* To mowe appwoved sewvice uWu and desewt. -BOWINGBWOKE. I thank thee, gentwe Pewcy; and be suwe -I x3 count mysewf in nyothing *hugs tightly* ewse so happy -A-As in a souw wememb'wing my good fwiends; -And as my fowtunye wipens with t-thy wove, -It shaww be stiww >_> thy :3 twue wove's w-wecompense. -M-My heawt this *notices bulge* covenyant makes, m-my :3 hand thus >_< seaws it. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *hugs tightly* How faw is it to Bewkewey? A-And what stiw -Keeps good owd Yowk thewe with h-his men of waw? -PEWCY. Thewe stands t-the castwe, by yon *twerks* tuft of *screams* twees, -Mann'd with thwee hundwed m-men, *cuddles you* as *screams* I have heawd; -;;w;; And in it awe the Wowds *looks at you* of Yowk, Bewkewey, and Seymouw- -Nyonye ewse >_> of nyame and nyobwe estimate. - -Entew Woss and WIWWOUGHBY - -N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Hewe come the W-Wowds o-of W-Woss and Wiwwoughby, -Bwoody w-with spuwwing, fiewy-wed with haste. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. Wewcome, my wowds. I wot y-youw wove puwsues -A banyish'd twaitow. Aww my *twerks* tweasuwy -Is xDD yet but unfewt t-thanks, which, mowe enwich'd, ->_> Shaww be youw wove uWu and w-wabouw's w-wecompense. -WOSS. UwU Youw pwesence makes us w-wich, m-most nyobwe wowd. -WIWWOUGHBY. And f-faw suwmounts ouw w-wabouw to attain it. -BOWINGBWOKE. Evewmowe thanks, the exchequew o-of the poow; -Which, tiww my i-infant f-fowtunye comes to yeaws, -Stands fow my bounty. B-But who ^-^ comes hewe? - -Entew *shuffles closer* BEWKEWEY - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_> It is my Wowd of Bewkewey, a-as I guess. -BEWKEWEY. My *looks at you* Wowd of Hewefowd, m-my message is to you. -BOWINGBWOKE. >_< My wowd, my answew is-'to Wancastew'; -And I ^-^ am c-come to s-seek that >_> nyame i-in Engwand; -And I must find that ;;w;; titwe in youw tongue -Befowe I *hugs tightly* make wepwy to aught you say. -BEWKEWEY. Mistake me nyot, my wowd; 'tis nyot my meanying -To *pokes you* waze onye *sighs* titwe of youw h-honyouw out. -To you, my wowd, I *leans over* come-what wowd you *looks at you* wiww- -Fwom the most gwacious wegent of this wand, -The *notices bulge* Duke of Yowk, to knyow what pwicks you on -To take advantage of *notices bulge* the absent time, -And fwight ouw nyative *cries* peace with sewf-bownye awms. - -Entew YOWK, attended - -*sighs* BOWINGBWOKE. I s-shaww nyot n-nyeed twanspowt my wowds ^.^ by you; -Hewe comes his *blushes* Gwace i-in pewson. M-My nyobwe uncwe! -[Knyeews] -YOWK. Show me thy h-humbwe h-heawt, *giggles shyly* and nyot thy knyee, -Whose duty is deceivabwe and fawse. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. My gwacious uncwe!- -YOWK. Tut, tut! -Gwace me *giggles shyly* nyo gwace, nyow u-uncwe me nyo uncwe. -I am nyo twaitow's uncwe; and that wowd 'gwace' -In an u-ungwacious *looks away* mouth ^.^ is *cuddles you* but pwofanye. -Why have those banyish'd and fowbidden wegs -Daw'd once to touch a dust of Engwand's gwound? -UwU But then mowe 'why?'-why have they daw'd to mawch -So many miwes upon hew peacefuw bosom, -Fwighting hew pawe-fac'd viwwages with waw -And o-ostentation ^w^ of despised awms? -Com'st thou because *shuffles closer* the anyointed K-King is hence? -Why, *moans* foowish boy, the King ^.^ is weft behind, -And in my woyaw b-bosom wies his powew. -^.^ Wewe I *cuddles you* but nyow wowd of such hot youth -As when bwave Gaunt, thy fathew, and m-mysewf -Wescued the Bwack Pwince, that young Maws of men, -Fwom fowth the *cries* wanks of many thousand Fwench, -O, then *cuddles you* how quickwy shouwd this awm of minye, -Nyow pwisonyew to the *cries* pawsy, *moans* chastise *twerks* the -A-And minyistew cowwection t-to thy fauwt! -BOWINGBWOKE My gwacious uncwe, x3 wet me knyow m-my fauwt; -On what condition s-stands it and ^.^ whewein? -YOWK. Even in condition of the wowst degwee- -In gwoss webewwion and detested tweason. -Thou awt a banyish'd man, and hewe awt c-come -:3 Befowe the expiwation of t-thy time, -In bwaving awms against thy soveweign. -BOWINGBWOKE. As I-I ^w^ was banyish'd, I w-was b-banyish'd Hewefowd; -*teleports behind you* But as I come, I come f-fow W-Wancastew. -And, nyobwe uncwe, x3 I beseech youw Gwace -Wook on my *hugs tightly* wwongs with an i-indiffewent *blushes* eye. -You awe my fathew, fow methinks ^.^ in you -I see *cries* owd Gaunt awive. *hugs tightly* O, then, xDD my fathew, -Wiww y-you pewmit *blushes* that I OwO shaww stand condemn'd -UwU A wandewing vagabond; my wights *teleports behind you* and >_< woyawties -Pwuck'd fwom my *looks at you* awms ^w^ pewfowce, and *sweats* given away -To upstawt unthwifts? *blushes* Whewefowe was I bown? -*cries* If that my cousin king be *screams* King *notices bulge* in Engwand, -It must be gwanted I am Duke *twerks* of Wancastew. -x3 You have a son, Aumewwe, my nyobwe cousin; -Had you fiwst died, and he b-been xDD thus twod down, -He >w< shouwd have found his uncwe *hugs tightly* Gaunt a *pokes you* fathew -To wouse his wwongs a-and chase them to the bay. -*screams* I am denyied to sue UwU my *blushes* wivewy hewe, -And yet my wettews patents *pokes you* give me weave. -My fathew's goods a-awe aww d-distwain'd and sowd; -And these a-and aww awe a-aww amiss empwoy'd. -^.^ What wouwd you have me do? I-I ^w^ am a ^w^ subject, -And I x3 chawwenge waw-attownyeys awe d-denyied me; -^.^ And thewefowe pewsonyawwy I way *hugs tightly* my c-cwaim -T-To my inhewitance of *teleports behind you* fwee descent. -OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. T-The nyobwe Duke *looks at you* hath been too much a-abused. -WOSS. It stands youw ;;w;; Gwace upon to do him wight. -*cries* WIWWOUGHBY. Base men by his endowments awe made gweat. -*notices bulge* YOWK. My wowds of Engwand, wet me teww you this: -I *giggles shyly* have xDD had feewing of my cousin's w-wwongs, -*moans* And wabouw'd *hugs tightly* aww I couwd to do him ^.^ wight; -But *sighs* in this kind to come, in bwaving awms, -Be his own cawvew >_> and cut out his way, -To find out wight with wwong-it may nyot be; -xDD And you that *looks away* do abet him in this >w< kind -Chewish w-webewwion, and awe webews aww. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. The n-nyobwe Duke hath swown *teleports behind you* his coming >_< is -But ^-^ fow his own; and fow the wight of that -We aww have s-stwongwy swown to give him aid; -And wet him nyevew see *looks away* joy that bweaks that oath! -YOWK. Weww, weww, I :3 see the issue of these awms. -*screams* I cannyot mend it, I must nyeeds confess, -Because my powew is *shuffles closer* weak and aww iww weft; -B-But if I-I couwd, by Him *screams* that g-gave me wife, -I wouwd attach *cries* you aww and m-make you stoop -*moans* Unto >w< the soveweign mewcy of *hugs tightly* the King; -uWu But s-since I cannyot, be it x3 knyown unto you -I :3 do wemain a-as nyeutew. S-So, *looks away* fawe you >_> weww; -Unwess you *sweats* pwease to UwU entew i-in the castwe, -A-And thewe wepose you fow this *sighs* nyight. -BOWINGBWOKE. An offew, uncwe, that we wiww accept. -But we m-must win youw Gwace to go with us -To Bwistow :33 Castwe, w-which they say is hewd -By Bushy, Bagot, and theiw *pokes you* compwices, -The catewpiwwaws of the commonweawth, -Which I have swown to weed and pwuck away. -Y-YOWK. *screams* It m-may be I-I wiww g-go with you; *giggles shyly* but yet I'ww pause, -F-Fow I am *looks at you* woath to bweak ouw countwy's waws. -Nyow fwiends nyow foes, t-to me w-wewcome y-you awe. -Things past w-wedwess awe nyow *hugs tightly* with me p-past cawe. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 4. -A camp in W-Wawes - -E-Entew EAWW O-OF SAWISBUWY and a WEWSH CAPTAIN - -CAPTAIN. My Wowd of *leans over* Sawisbuwy, we have stay'd ten days -And hawdwy *cries* kept ouw countwymen togethew, -And yet we h-heaw nyo *shuffles closer* tidings fwom the King; -*sweats* Thewefowe w-we wiww dispewse ouwsewves. Faweweww. -*cuddles you* SAWISBUWY. Stay ^w^ yet anyothew day, t-thou twusty W-Wewshman; -T-The UwU King *cries* weposeth aww *teleports behind you* his confidence i-in thee. -CAPTAIN. '-'Tis thought *cuddles you* the King is dead; we *moans* wiww nyot stay. -The >w< bay twees i-in ouw UwU countwy awe *looks at you* aww withew'd, -A-And meteows fwight the *looks at you* fixed staws of heaven; -The pawe-fac'd moon wooks bwoody on the e-eawth, -*sweats* And wean-wook'd pwophets whispew feawfuw change; -W-Wich men wook s-sad, a-and wuffians dance and weap- -The o-onye i-in f-feaw to >_> wose what they enjoy, -xDD The >_< othew to enjoy by wage and waw. -These signs fowewun *giggles shyly* the death *teleports behind you* ow faww of kings. -Faweweww. Ouw countwymen awe gonye *cries* and fwed, -As weww assuw'd Wichawd theiw King i-is dead. E-Exit -SAWISBUWY. Ah, Wichawd, w-with the eyes of uWu heavy *sweats* mind, -I-I s-see t-thy *sighs* gwowy wike a ;;w;; shooting s-staw -F-Faww to ^w^ the base eawth fwom the fiwmament! -T-The sun sets weeping in the wowwy west, -Witnyessing s-stowms to come, woe, and unwest; -Thy fwiends awe fwed, to wait upon thy foes; -^.^ And cwosswy to thy good aww fowtunye goes. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT *notices bulge* III. SCENyE I-I. -BOWINGBWOKE'S *cuddles you* camp at B-Bwistow - -Entew *moans* BOWINGBWOKE, YOWK, NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, *sweats* PEWCY, WOSS, WIWWOUGHBY, -B-BUSHY and *cuddles you* GWEEN, *hugs tightly* pwisonyews - -BOWINGBWOKE. Bwing fowth these men. -B-Bushy a-and Gween, I wiww nyot vex youw souws- -Since pwesentwy >w< youw souws must pawt youw bodies- -xDD With too ^-^ much uwging x3 youw pewnyicious w-wives, -UwU Fow 'twewe nyo c-chawity; yet, to >_> wash youw b-bwood -Fwom off my hands, hewe in the view of men -I-I wiww unfowd some causes of youw deaths: -You have miswed xDD a pwince, a woyaw king, -A happy gentweman in *leans over* bwood *sighs* and winyeaments, -By you unhappied and disfiguwed cwean; -You have in *pokes you* mannyew with youw sinfuw houws -Made a d-divowce betwixt his queen and him; -*moans* Bwoke UwU the possession of a woyaw bed, -And s-stain'd the beauty of a faiw q-queen's *sighs* cheeks -With teaws dwawn fwom hew eyes by y-youw fouw wwongs; ->_< Mysewf-a pwince by fowtunye of my biwth, -Nyeaw *shuffles closer* to *shuffles closer* the King in bwood, a-and nyeaw in w-wove -Tiww you did make him misintewpwet me- -uWu Have stoop'd my nyeck undew youw injuwies -A-And *moans* sigh'd my Engwish bweath in f-foweign cwouds, -Eating the bittew bwead *sweats* of *blushes* banyishment, -Whiwst you have fed u-upon my signyowies, -Dispawk'd my pawks and feww'd my fowest ^.^ woods, -Fwom my o-own windows town my *cries* househowd coat, -W-Waz'd OwO out my impwese, weaving m-me *pokes you* nyo sign -Save men's opinyions and my *sighs* wiving bwood -To s-show the w-wowwd I-I am a gentweman. ->_> This and much mowe, *leans over* much mowe than t-twice aww this, -Condemns you to *teleports behind you* the death. See >_> them dewivewed ovew -To execution and the hand o-of death. -BUSHY. Mowe w-wewcome *twerks* is the stwoke of death to me -Than Bowingbwoke t-to Engwand. Wowds, *notices bulge* faweweww. -GWEEN. My comfowt is that heaven wiww take o-ouw souws, -And pwague *leans over* injustice with t-the pains of *blushes* heww. -BOWINGBWOKE. My Wowd Nyowthumbewwand, see them *teleports behind you* dispatch'd. -Exeunt NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, *twerks* and othews, with the pwisonyews -Uncwe, you say *notices bulge* the Queen is at youw house; -Fow God's sake, f-faiwwy *pokes you* wet hew be e-entweated. -Teww hew I s-send to hew my kind commends; -T-Take speciaw cawe my g-gweetings b-be dewivewed. -YOWK. A gentweman of *twerks* minye I have dispatch'd -With wettews of youw wove to h-hew at wawge. -BOWINGBWOKE. Thanks, gentwe uncwe. Come, *blushes* wowds, away, -To fight with Gwendowew and his compwices. -Awhiwe to wowk, and aftew *sweats* howiday. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. -The coast of Wawes. A castwe >_> in view - -Dwums. *cries* Fwouwish and c-cowouws. Entew the KING, the BISHOP OF CAWWISWE, -:33 AUMEWWE, and *cuddles you* sowdiews - -KING WICHAWD. *twerks* Bawkwoughwy >_> Castwe can they this at hand? -*twerks* AUMEWWE. *hugs tightly* Yea, my wowd. How bwooks youw Gwace t-the aiw -Aftew youw wate >_< tossing on *screams* the bweaking seas? -KING WICHAWD. Nyeeds must I w-wike it weww. I weep fow joy -T-To stand upon my kingdom once a-again. -Deaw eawth, I do sawute t-thee with my hand, -T-Though webews wound thee with theiw *screams* howses' h-hoofs. -As a wong-pawted mothew with hew chiwd -Pways fondwy w-with hew *leans over* teaws and smiwes *sighs* in m-meeting, -^.^ So weeping-smiwing gweet I thee, m-my eawth, -And do thee favouws with my *sighs* woyaw h-hands. -Feed nyot t-thy soveweign's >_< foe, my g-gentwe UwU eawth, -Nyow with thy sweets c-comfowt his w-wavenyous sense; -But wet thy spidews, t-that suck up thy v-venyom, -And heavy-gaited toads, wie in theiw way, -Doing annyoyance to the tweachewous feet -Which with usuwping steps do twampwe *pokes you* thee; -Yiewd stinging n-nyettwes *blushes* to minye enyemies; -And *moans* when they ;;w;; fwom thy bosom p-pwuck a-a fwowew, -Guawd it, I pway *looks away* thee, *cuddles you* with a wuwking addew, -Whose doubwe >_< tongue may >_> with *pokes you* a mowtaw touch -Thwow death upon t-thy soveweign's >_> enyemies. -M-Mock nyot my sensewess conjuwation, wowds. -This ^.^ eawth shaww ^-^ have a feewing, and these stonyes -P-Pwove awmed sowdiews, ewe hew nyative king -Shaww fawtew >_< undew fouw webewwion's *teleports behind you* awms. -CAWWISWE. Feaw nyot, my wowd; t-that Powew that made you king -Hath >w< powew t-to OwO keep >w< you k-king i-in spite of aww. -The :33 means that heaven yiewds must be embwac'd -And n-nyot nyegwected; ewse, if heaven *blushes* wouwd, -And we wiww nyot, heaven's offew we wefuse, -The pwoffewed m-means of succouw and w-wedwess. -AUMEWWE. He means, my wowd, that we awe too wemiss; -Whiwst Bowingbwoke, thwough ouw uWu secuwity, -Gwows stwong and gweat in substance and in powew. -KING WICHAWD. Discomfowtabwe cousin! k-knyow'st thou nyot -That when the seawching eye *sighs* of heaven is hid, -*teleports behind you* Behind the gwobe, *sighs* that wights x3 the w-wowew wowwd, -T-Then thieves a-and wobbews wange abwoad unseen -I-In muwdews and in outwage b-bowdwy hewe; -But w-when fwom undew this tewwestwiaw baww -He UwU fiwes the pwoud tops of t-the eastewn pinyes -And dawts his wight thwough e-evewy guiwty howe, -Then muwdews, *looks away* tweasons, and detested :3 sins, -T-The cwoak ;;w;; of nyight b-being p-pwuck'd *twerks* fwom off theiw backs, -*hugs tightly* Stand bawe :3 and nyaked, twembwing at themsewves? -So w-when this thief, *moans* this twaitow, Bowingbwoke, -*moans* Who >_< aww this whiwe hath weveww'd in *cuddles you* the nyight, -*looks at you* Whiwst we w-wewe wand'wing w-with the *cuddles you* Antipodes, -Shaww see us wising *screams* in ouw thwonye, the east, -His tweasons wiww sit bwushing in his f-face, -Nyot abwe ;;w;; to enduwe the sight of d-day, -But *leans over* sewf-affwighted twembwe at his sin. -Nyot a-aww the watew in the wough wude *cuddles you* sea -Can wash the bawm off f-fwom an anyointed king; -The bweath o-of wowwdwy men cannyot depose -The d-deputy ewected by the W-Wowd. -OwO Fow e-evewy >w< man that Bowingbwoke hath pwess'd -To *looks at you* wift shwewd x3 steew uWu against o-ouw gowden c-cwown, -God fow his Wichawd hath in heavenwy pay -A-A gwowious angew. Then, if angews fight, -Weak men must >_< faww; f-fow *twerks* heaven s-stiww guawds the wight. - -*looks at you* Entew SAWISBUWY - -Wewcome, my wowd. *shuffles closer* How faw off w-wies youw powew? -SAWISBUWY. Nyow nyeaw nyow fawthew o-off, my gwacious wowd, -Than this ;;w;; weak awm. Discomfowt guides m-my tongue, -And bids OwO me speak of nyothing but despaiw. -Onye day too wate, I feaw me, nyobwe wowd, -Hath cwouded *moans* aww thy happy days on eawth. -O, c-caww >_< back y-yestewday, bid time wetuwn, -And thou shawt >_> have twewve thousand fighting men! -To-day, to-day, u-unhappy day, too wate, -O'ewthwows t-thy joys, fwiends, fowtunye, and thy state; -Fow aww the Wewshmen, heawing thou wewt dead, -Awe gonye to Bowingbwoke, *twerks* dispews'd, and fwed. -A-AUMEWWE. Comfowt, my wiege, w-why wooks youw Gwace ^w^ so *looks at you* pawe? -KING WICHAWD. B-But nyow the bwood of twenty thousand m-men -*giggles shyly* Did ^w^ twiumph in my face, and t-they awe fwed; -And, tiww so much bwood thithew come again, -*cries* Have I nyot weason to wook pawe and dead? -Aww :3 souws that wiww be safe, fwy f-fwom my side; -Fow t-time hath set a bwot upon my pwide. -AUMEWWE. Comfowt, my wiege; wemembew who you awe. -KING WICHAWD. I had fowgot mysewf; am *shuffles closer* I nyot King? -A-Awake, t-thou cowawd majesty! thou sweepest. -^-^ Is n-nyot the King's nyame twenty thousand nyames? -Awm, *looks at you* awm, my n-nyame! a puny subject *pokes you* stwikes -At thy gweat gwowy. Wook nyot to the gwound, -*blushes* Ye favouwites of a king; awe w-we nyot high? -High be ouw thoughts. I knyow uWu my uncwe *sighs* Yowk -Hath *sighs* powew *sweats* enyough >w< to sewve ouw tuwn. *hugs tightly* But w-who comes hewe? - -Entew SCWOOP - -*hugs tightly* SCWOOP. ^-^ Mowe heawth *blushes* and happinyess betide my *hugs tightly* wiege -Than can my cawe-tun'd tongue dewivew him. -K-KING W-WICHAWD. Minye eaw *looks at you* is open and my heawt pwepaw'd. -*giggles shyly* The wowst i-is wowwdwy woss thou ^w^ canst unfowd. -uWu Say, x3 is m-my kingdom wost? *sighs* Why, 'twas my cawe, -And what woss is it >_< to be wid of cawe? -Stwives Bowingbwoke to be a-as g-gweat as ^-^ we? -G-Gweatew he shaww nyot be; *teleports behind you* if h-he sewve God, -We'ww sewve him too, a-and be his fewwow so. -Wevowt ouw subjects? That we cannyot *screams* mend; -They b-bweak theiw *cuddles you* faith to God as *cuddles you* weww as us. -*cuddles you* Cwy woe, destwuction, *teleports behind you* wuin, and decay- -The :3 wowst is death, and death wiww have his d-day. -SCWOOP. Gwad am I that youw Highnyess i-is so awm'd -To ;;w;; beaw the tidings of cawamity. -Wike an unseasonyabwe stowmy day -Which makes the siwvew wivews dwown theiw OwO showes, -As if the wowwd wewe aww dissowv'd t-to teaws, -So high above h-his wimits swewws the wage -uWu Of Bowingbwoke, covewing youw feawfuw w-wand -With hawd bwight steew and heawts hawdew than steew. -White-beawds have awm'd theiw *screams* thin and haiwwess scawps -Against thy majesty; boys, with women's voices, -*giggles shyly* Stwive to speak big, and cwap theiw femawe joints -:33 In stiff unwiewdy awms against thy cwown; -Thy *giggles shyly* vewy beadsmen weawn to bend *screams* theiw bows -Of doubwe-fataw yew against thy state; -Y-Yea, distaff-women manyage *notices bulge* wusty b-biwws -Against thy seat: both y-young and owd webew, -And a-aww goes wowse UwU than I have powew to teww. -K-KING WICHAWD. Too weww, too w-weww thou teww'st a tawe s-so *screams* in. -*sighs* Whewe is the *giggles shyly* Eaww of Wiwtshiwe? Whewe is B-Bagot? -W-What is b-become of Bushy? Whewe is Gween? -That they have wet *blushes* the dangewous enyemy -Measuwe *looks at you* ouw confinyes *shuffles closer* with such *hugs tightly* peacefuw steps? -If we pwevaiw, theiw heads shaww pay fow it. -I wawwant they *looks away* have made peace with Bowingbwoke. -SCWOOP. Peace have they made with h-him indeed, my *cries* wowd. -KING *pokes you* WICHAWD. *notices bulge* O viwwains, vipews, d-damn'd without wedemption! -x3 Dogs, easiwy won to *twerks* fawn on a-any man! -*blushes* Snyakes, in my heawt-bwood wawm'd, that sting my heawt! -Thwee Judases, each onye thwice wowse than J-Judas! -Wouwd they make peace? uWu Tewwibwe heww make waw -Upon theiw spotted souws f-fow this offence! -S-SCWOOP. Sweet wove, I ^-^ see, changing his pwopewty, -Tuwns *notices bulge* to t-the souwest and most deadwy hate. -Again uncuwse theiw souws; *teleports behind you* theiw peace xDD is made -With heads, and nyot with hands; t-those :3 whom you cuwse -Have fewt the wowst of d-death's destwoying wound -*looks at you* And wie fuww wow, gwav'd in the howwow g-gwound. -AUMEWWE. Is Bushy, Gween, and the *twerks* Eaww of Wiwtshiwe dead? -SCWOOP. Ay, *shuffles closer* aww of them at Bwistow wost theiw heads. -A-AUMEWWE. *giggles shyly* Whewe is the Duke my :33 fathew with his powew? -KING WICHAWD. Nyo mattew whewe-of *leans over* comfowt :3 nyo man speak. -Wet's tawk of gwaves, of w-wowms, and epitaphs; -Make dust ouw ^.^ papew, and with wainy e-eyes -Wwite sowwow on the bosom of *sighs* the eawth. -Wet's choose >_< executows and tawk *blushes* of wiwws; -And y-yet x3 nyot s-so-fow what *pokes you* can we bequeath ->w< Save ouw d-deposed bodies to the *looks at you* gwound? -Ouw wands, o-ouw wives, and an, awe Bowingbwoke's. -And nyothing can we *teleports behind you* can ouw own but *screams* death -And that s-smaww m-modew of the bawwen *cuddles you* eawth -Which sewves as *cuddles you* paste ^.^ and covew to ouw bonyes. -Fow God's sake wet us s-sit upon the gwound -And *teleports behind you* teww sad stowies of the death of kings: -How s-some have b-been depos'd, some swain >_> in waw, -Some *hugs tightly* haunted by the ghosts they have d-depos'd, -Some poison'd by theiw *cuddles you* wives, some sweeping kiww'd, -*teleports behind you* Aww *looks at you* muwdew'd-fow within the howwow *shuffles closer* cwown -That wounds t-the mowtaw tempwes of a king -Keeps Death his couwt; and thewe the UwU antic sits, -Scoffing his ^.^ state a-and g-gwinnying at *cuddles you* his pomp; -Awwowing him a bweath, a w-wittwe scenye, -To monyawchize, ^.^ be feaw'd, and kiww with w-wooks; -I-Infusing h-him with sewf and v-vain conceit, -*shuffles closer* As if this f-fwesh which ^-^ wawws about *pokes you* ouw wife -Wewe bwass impwegnyabwe; and, humouw'd thus, -Comes at the wast, a-and *cuddles you* with *cuddles you* a *looks at you* wittwe pin -Bowes *sighs* thwough ^.^ his castwe waww, and faweweww, king! -Covew *twerks* youw h-heads, and mock nyot fwesh and bwood -With sowemn wevewence; thwow away w-wespect, -Twadition, *sweats* fowm, and *notices bulge* cewemonyious duty; -Fow you have but mistook me aww this whiwe. -I wive with b-bwead wike you, feew want, -Taste gwief, nyeed fwiends: subjected thus, -xDD How can you say t-to me I am *sweats* a king? -CAWWISWE. My wowd, *pokes you* wise men nye'ew sit a-and waiw ^-^ theiw woes, -:3 But pwesentwy pwevent xDD the ways to waiw. -To feaw the *cries* foe, s-since feaw oppwesseth stwength, -Gives, in youw weaknyess, xDD stwength unto y-youw *shuffles closer* foe, -And so youw fowwies OwO fight *hugs tightly* against youwsewf. -Feaw and :33 be swain-nyo wowse can *cuddles you* come to fight; -*sweats* And fight ;;w;; and die is death destwoying death, -Whewe feawing *teleports behind you* dying pays death sewviwe bweath. -AUMEWWE. My fathew hath a powew; inquiwe of him, -And w-weawn to make *sighs* a body of a wimb. -KING WICHAWD. Thou chid'st me weww. Pwoud Bowingbwoke, I come -To change bwows with >_< thee fow ouw day of doom. -This ague fit of feaw is ovew-bwown; -An e-easy task it is to w-win ouw own. -S-Say, Scwoop, whewe wies *leans over* ouw uncwe with his p-powew? -Speak s-sweetwy, man, awthough thy wooks be souw. -SCWOOP. Men *looks at you* judge by the ;;w;; compwexion of the sky -The state >w< in incwinyation of the day; -;;w;; So may you ^-^ by my duww and heavy eye, -M-My tongue hath but a heaview tawe to say. -I pway the towtuwew, by smaww and smaww -To wengthen out the wowst that must be spoken: -Youw >w< uncwe Yowk is join'd with Bowingbwoke; -And *shuffles closer* aww youw *screams* nyowthewn castwes yiewded u-up, -And aww youw southewn gentwemen in awms -Upon his pawty. -KING WICHAWD. Thou hast s-said enyough. -[To AUMEWWE] *shuffles closer* Beshwew thee, cousin, which didst wead *sighs* me :3 fowth -Of that sweet way I ^.^ was xDD in to despaiw! -What say :3 you *notices bulge* nyow? What comfowt have we nyow? -By heaven, I-I'ww hate >_< him evewwastingwy -T-That >_> bids me be of comfowt any mowe. -uWu Go t-to Fwint Castwe; thewe I'ww pinye away; -A king, woe's swave, shaww kingwy woe obey. -That powew I UwU have, dischawge; x3 and wet them go -*looks away* To eaw the wand that hath some h-hope to gwow, -Fow >_> I *leans over* have nyonye. Wet nyo man speak again -*shuffles closer* To awtew this, fow xDD counsew is but vain. -AUMEWWE. My ^w^ wiege, onye w-wowd. -K-KING W-WICHAWD. He does m-me doubwe wwong -That w-wounds m-me with the fwattewies of UwU his tongue. -Dischawge my fowwowews; w-wet them hence away, -Fwom Wichawd's nyight OwO to Bowingbwoke's faiw day. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. -Wawes. Befowe Fwint Castwe - -Entew, with dwum and cowouws, BOWINGBWOKE, YOWK, NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, -and fowces - -B-BOWINGBWOKE. *shuffles closer* So that by this *looks at you* intewwigence we weawn -The *cries* Wewshmen awe ^-^ dispews'd; and Sawisbuwy -Is gonye to *pokes you* meet the King, w-who *cuddles you* watewy wanded -With some few pwivate f-fwiends upon *looks away* this ^.^ coast. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. The nyews :3 is vewy faiw and good, my wowd. -Wichawd nyot f-faw fwom hence hath *looks at you* hid h-his head. -*blushes* YOWK. >_> It wouwd beseem *giggles shyly* the Wowd Nyowthumbewwand -UwU To *looks at you* say 'King W-Wichawd.' UwU Awack the heavy day -When s-such a sacwed king shouwd h-hide his head! -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Youw ;;w;; Gwace mistakes; onwy to be bwief, -*leans over* Weft I h-his titwe o-out. -YOWK. The time hath been, -Wouwd you have >w< been so bwief with him, he wouwd -H-Have *leans over* been so bwief with you to showten you, -Fow taking s-so t-the head, *giggles shyly* youw >_> whowe head's wength. -BOWINGBWOKE. Mistake nyot, uncwe, *looks away* fuwthew than you shouwd. -YOWK. T-Take nyot, good cousin, f-fuwthew than y-you shouwd, -W-West *giggles shyly* you mistake. The heavens awe o-ovew ouw *teleports behind you* heads. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. I knyow *leans over* it, >_> uncwe; and oppose *screams* nyot mysewf -Against theiw wiww. >_> But who ^-^ comes hewe? - -Entew PEWCY - -Wewcome, Hawwy. What, *sweats* wiww nyot this castwe yiewd? -PIEWCY. *twerks* The castwe woyawwy is mann'd, my wowd, -Against *hugs tightly* thy entwance. -BOWINGBWOKE. W-Woyawwy! -Why, it contains nyo king? -PEWCY. ;;w;; Yes, m-my good wowd, -I-It d-doth OwO contain a king; K-King >w< Wichawd wies -Within the w-wimits of y-yon wime and s-stonye; -And >_< with him awe the Wowd A-Aumewwe, Wowd Sawisbuwy, -S-Siw S-Stephen Scwoop, besides a cwewgyman -Of howy wevewence; who, I *leans over* cannyot weawn. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *twerks* O, bewike it is *notices bulge* the Bishop of Cawwiswe. -BOWINGBWOKE. [To NyOWTHUMBEWWAND] ^-^ Nyobwe wowd, -Go to the wude xDD wibs *pokes you* of t-that ancient :3 castwe; -T-Thwough b-bwazen twumpet s-send the bweath of pawwey -Into his w-wuin'd eaws, and thus dewivew: -*moans* Henwy Bowingbwoke -On both his knyees ^-^ doth *cuddles you* kiss King *pokes you* Wichawd's h-hand, -And sends awwegiance and twue f-faith of heawt -To his most woyaw pewson; hithew come -Even at h-his feet *blushes* to way m-my awms >w< and powew, -Pwovided that *sweats* my banyishment wepeaw'd -And wands westow'd again be >_> fweewy gwanted; -If nyot, I'ww u-use the a-advantage of my powew -And w-way the summew's dust w-with showews of bwood -Wain'd fwom the wounds of swaughtewed Engwishmen; -T-The which how faw off fwom the mind of Bowingbwoke -It is such cwimson t-tempest shouwd bedwench -The fwesh gween wap of x3 faiw *shuffles closer* King Wichawd's w-wand, -My stooping duty tendewwy shaww show. -Go, signyify a-as much, *moans* whiwe h-hewe >w< we mawch -Upon xDD the gwassy cawpet o-of this pwain. -[NyOWTHUMBEWWAND ;;w;; advances to the C-Castwe, with a twumpet] -W-Wet's mawch without *looks away* the nyoise of thweat'nying dwum, -*giggles shyly* That f-fwom this ^-^ castwe's tottewed battwements -*pokes you* Ouw faiw appointments may b-be weww pewus'd. -M-Methinks King Wichawd :33 and mysewf shouwd *moans* meet -With nyo wess t-tewwow than the ewements -Of f-fiwe and watew, when theiw thund'wing shock -At m-meeting teaws the cwoudy cheeks of heaven. -Be he the fiwe, *giggles shyly* I'ww be OwO the yiewding ^-^ watew; -The :33 wage be his, whiwst on the eawth >_> I wain -My watews-on the eawth, a-and >_< nyot o-on him. -:3 Mawch on, and mawk King Wichawd how he wooks. - -Pawwe without, a-and answew within; then a fwouwish. -Entew o-on :3 the wawws, the KING, the BISHOP OF CAWWISWE, -*looks away* AUMEWWE, SCWOOP, *pokes you* and SAWISBUWY - -See, see, King Wichawd doth himsewf appeaw, -As doth t-the bwushing discontented sun -Fwom out ;;w;; the fiewy powtaw o-of the east, -When he pewceives the envious cwouds awe b-bent -To dim his gwowy and to stain the twack -Of his bwight p-passage to the occident. -YOWK. Y-Yet he wooks >w< wike a king. *blushes* Behowd, ^w^ his eye, -As bwight as is t-the eagwe's, wightens *twerks* fowth -Contwowwing majesty. A-Awack, awack, fow woe, -That *hugs tightly* any hawm shouwd s-stain s-so faiw a show! -KING WICHAWD. [-[To NyOWTHUMBEWWAND] W-We awe amaz'd; and thus wong -have we stood -T-To watch the feawfuw bending *sighs* of t-thy k-knyee, -Because we thought ouwsewf thy wawfuw King; -And if we be, how d-dawe thy joints *looks at you* fowget -To pay theiw awfuw duty t-to ouw pwesence? -If we b-be nyot, s-show us the hand o-of God -T-That hath d-dismiss'd us fwom ouw stewawdship; -Fow weww we knyow nyo hand of xDD bwood a-and bonye -C-Can x3 gwipe >_< the sacwed handwe of *moans* ouw sceptwe, -Unwess he do pwofanye, *blushes* steaw, ow u-usuwp. -And though you think *cuddles you* that aww, a-as *notices bulge* you have donye, -Have town theiw souws *notices bulge* by t-tuwnying them fwom us, -*twerks* And *hugs tightly* we awe b-bawwen and beweft *looks at you* of fwiends, -*teleports behind you* Yet uWu knyow-my :33 mastew, God omnyipotent, -I-Is m-mustewing ^w^ in his cwouds on ouw behawf -A-Awmies of *looks at you* pestiwence; a-and t-they shaww stwike -Youw chiwdwen yet unbown a-and unbegot, -That wift youw vassaw hands against *shuffles closer* my h-head -And thweat the gwowy of my pwecious cwown. -Teww Bowingbwoke, fow yon m-methinks he stands, -That evewy s-stwide he makes upon my wand -I-Is dangewous tweason; he is come to open -The puwpwe testament x3 of *cries* bweeding waw; -But *twerks* ewe the cwown he wooks fow wive in peace, -Ten thousand bwoody cwowns of mothews' sons -Shaww iww become the fwowew *cuddles you* of Engwand's face, -Change the compwexion of hew :33 maid-pawe peace -To scawwet indignyation, and b-bedew -Hew *notices bulge* pastuwes' xDD gwass with faithfuw E-Engwish bwood. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. The King of Heaven fowbid ouw wowd the King -Shouwd so with civiw a-and unciviw awms -B-Be :33 wush'd upon! Thy thwice nyobwe cousin, -Hawwy Bowingbwoke, *moans* doth h-humbwy kiss thy h-hand; -A-And by the honyouwabwe tomb he sweaws -That stands upon youw woyaw gwandsiwe's bonyes, -And by the ^w^ woyawties of both x3 youw bwoods, -Cuwwents that spwing fwom onye m-most *leans over* gwacious head, -And b-by the buwied hand of wawwike >_> Gaunt, -And *cuddles you* by the wowth and h-honyouw *moans* of ^-^ himsewf, -Compwising aww that may *twerks* be swown ow said, ->_> His coming hithew hath nyo fuwthew *looks away* scope -T-Than fow h-his w-winyeaw woyawties, and to beg -Enfwanchisement immediate on h-his knyees; -Which >_> on thy *sighs* woyaw pawty gwanted once, -H-His gwittewing awms *cries* he wiww commend to wust, -*sighs* His b-bawbed steeds to stabwes, and his heawt -To ^w^ faithfuw sewvice of UwU youw Majesty. -*hugs tightly* This s-sweaws he, *moans* as he is a pwince, is just; -A-And *pokes you* as *leans over* I am *teleports behind you* a gentweman I cwedit him. -KING WICHAWD. *sighs* Nyowthumbewwand, say *hugs tightly* thus the King wetuwns: -His nyobwe cousin is wight wewcome hithew; -And aww the nyumbew of his faiw demands -Shaww b-be accompwish'd without contwadiction. -With *looks away* aww *twerks* the >_> gwacious uttewance thou hast -S-Speak to *pokes you* his gentwe heawing kind commends. -[-[To AUMEWWE] We *notices bulge* do *looks away* debase ouwsewves, cousin, do we nyot, -To wook so poowwy and to speak so faiw? -Shaww we caww back N-Nyowthumbewwand, and send -Defiance to t-the twaitow, and so die? -A-AUMEWWE. Nyo, OwO good *leans over* my wowd; wet's fight with gentwe ^w^ wowds -Tiww time wend *hugs tightly* fwiends, and fwiends *looks at you* theiw *pokes you* hewpfuw swowds. -x3 KING W-WICHAWD. O-O *notices bulge* God, O God! that e'ew *sighs* this tongue >w< of minye -*giggles shyly* That waid *hugs tightly* the s-sentence of *blushes* dwead banyishment -On yon pwoud man shouwd take i-it off again -W-With w-wowds *looks at you* of sooth! O that I wewe a-as gweat -As is my g-gwief, ow wessew than my *screams* nyame! -Ow *shuffles closer* that I couwd fowget what I-I :3 have b-been! -Ow n-nyot wemembew what I must be nyow! -Sweww'st thou, pwoud heawt? >_> I'ww g-give thee scope to *notices bulge* beat, -*moans* Since *pokes you* foes h-have s-scope t-to beat *looks away* both thee a-and *shuffles closer* me. -AUMEWWE. Nyowthumbewwand comes back fwom Bowingbwoke. -KING WICHAWD. What must t-the King do nyow? M-Must h-he ^w^ submit? -The King shaww do it. M-Must he be depos'd? ->w< The King *cries* shaww be contented. Must he wose -The nyame of king? A God's nyame, wet it go. -*hugs tightly* I'ww give my jewews xDD fow a set *sighs* of b-beads, -My g-gowgeous pawace fow a hewmitage, -My g-gay appawew fow an awmsman's gown, -My figuw'd *giggles shyly* gobwets fow a-a dish *looks away* of wood, -My sceptwe fow a *teleports behind you* pawmew's *blushes* wawking staff, -My subjects uWu fow a paiw of cawved s-saints, -*teleports behind you* And my wawge kingdom *screams* fow a wittwe gwave, -A w-wittwe wittwe g-gwave, :3 an *screams* obscuwe g-gwave- -Ow I'ww be buwied i-in the k-king's high way, -S-Some w-way :33 of c-common twade, whewe s-subjects' feet -M-May houwwy t-twampwe on theiw soveweign's head; -Fow on my heawt they twead nyow whiwst I wive, -And buwied once, why nyot upon my head? -Aumewwe, *twerks* thou weep'st, my tendew-heawted c-cousin! -We'ww m-make fouw weathew with d-despised teaws; -Ouw sighs and UwU they shaww wodge the summew cown -And make a deawth in this wevowting wand. -Ow shaww we pway the wantons with ouw woes -And make s-some pwetty match w-with shedding teaws? -As thus: *looks away* to dwop them stiww u-upon onye pwace -Tiww t-they have fwetted u-us a-a paiw of gwaves -Within the >_< eawth; and, thewein waid-thewe *looks away* wies -Two kinsmen digg'd theiw gwaves with weeping e-eyes. -W-Wouwd nyot t-this iww *twerks* do weww? Weww, w-weww, I see -:33 I tawk *cuddles you* but idwy, and you waugh at me. -Most mighty pwince, my Wowd Nyowthumbewwand, -What says *looks away* King Bowingbwoke? Wiww his Majesty -Give W-Wichawd weave to wive tiww ^.^ Wichawd *blushes* die? -You make *cuddles you* a weg, and Bowingbwoke says ay. -*cries* NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. My wowd, in the base couwt he doth attend -To speak with you; may i-it pwease y-you to c-come down? -KING WICHAWD. Down, down I ;;w;; come, w-wike gwist'wing Phaethon, -Wanting t-the manyage of u-unwuwy jades. -In the *sighs* base couwt? Base :3 couwt, >w< whewe kings gwow base, -*teleports behind you* To come at twaitows' cawws, a-and *moans* do them gwace. -I-In the *cries* base couwt? Come down? Down, couwt! down, k-king! -Fow nyight-owws shwiek whewe mounting wawks :3 shouwd sing. -Exeunt fwom above -B-BOWINGBWOKE. What says his M-Majesty? -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Sowwow and gwief of heawt -Makes him speak fondwy, wike a fwantic man; -Yet he is come. - -E-Entew the KING, and *shuffles closer* his attendants, bewow - -BOWINGBWOKE. Stand aww apawt, -And show faiw duty t-to his Majesty. [He knyeews down] -*hugs tightly* My gwacious wowd- -K-KING WICHAWD. F-Faiw cousin, *blushes* you debase youw *sweats* pwincewy knyee -To make the base eawth pwoud with kissing it. -M-Me wathew had my heawt might f-feew youw wove -Than my unpweas'd eye s-see youw c-couwtesy. -Up, cousin, up; youw heawt is up, I knyow, -[Touching his own head] Thus high at weast, awthough *notices bulge* youw -knyee be wow. -BOWINGBWOKE. My *notices bulge* gwacious w-wowd, I :3 come but fow minye own. -KING WICHAWD. Youw own is youws, and I-I uWu am youws, and aww. -*shuffles closer* BOWINGBWOKE. UwU So faw be minye, my most wedoubted wowd, -As m-my twue sewvice ^.^ shaww desewve youw *screams* wove. -KING WICHAWD. Weww you d-desewve. T-They w-weww desewve to h-have -That knyow *cries* the stwong'st and suwest way to *cries* get. -U-Uncwe, g-give me ;;w;; youw hands; nyay, dwy uWu youw eyes: -Teaws show theiw wove, but want theiw wemedies. -Cousin, I am too young to be y-youw fathew, -Though you awe owd enyough t-to be my heiw. -What you wiww have, I'ww give, and wiwwing *shuffles closer* too; -Fow do w-we m-must what >_> fowce wiww have us do. -S-Set on towawds Wondon. Cousin, is it so? -BOWINGBWOKE. Yea, *leans over* my ^-^ good wowd. -KING WICHAWD. Then I must *shuffles closer* nyot say nyo. Fwouwish. ;;w;; Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4-4. -The DUKE OF YOWK's ^-^ gawden - -Entew the Q-QUEEN and two WADIES - -*sweats* QUEEN. What spowt shaww we devise hewe in t-this gawden -T-To OwO dwive away the heavy t-thought of cawe? -*blushes* WADY. Madam, we'ww pway a-at bowws. -QUEEN. 'Twiww make me think *twerks* the *screams* wowwd is *twerks* fuww of wubs -And that UwU my ^w^ fowtunye *pokes you* wuns against the bias. -WADY. Madam, *cuddles you* we'ww dance. -Q-QUEEN. My wegs can keep nyo measuwe :33 in d-dewight, -*sighs* When my poow heawt nyo measuwe keeps i-in g-gwief; -Thewefowe nyo dancing, g-giww; some o-othew spowt. -WADY. Madam, we'ww teww tawes. -QUEEN. Of sowwow ow *moans* of joy? -WADY. Of e-eithew, madam. -QUEEN. Of nyeithew, giww; -Fow if of joy, being *sighs* awtogethew *sighs* wanting, -It doth wemembew me the m-mowe of sowwow; -*screams* Ow if of gwief, being a-awtogethew had, -It adds mowe sowwow to my want of joy; -Fow xDD what I have I nyeed *pokes you* nyot to wepeat, -*blushes* And what I *cries* want it boots *cuddles you* nyot to compwain. -W-WADY. >_> Madam, I'ww sing. -*hugs tightly* QUEEN. *looks away* 'Tis w-weww' that thou hast cause; -But *shuffles closer* thou shouwdst pwease *giggles shyly* me bettew wouwdst thou weep. -WADY. I *blushes* couwd weep, madam, *notices bulge* wouwd it d-do you good. -QUEEN. *cuddles you* And I-I couwd *sighs* sing, wouwd w-weeping do me good, -And uWu nyevew bowwow *giggles shyly* any teaw o-of thee. - -Entew a GAWDENyEW and two SEWVANTS - -B-But s-stay, hewe come the ^w^ gawdenyews. -Wet's step i-into the shadow of these twees. -My wwetchednyess unto a wow of pins, -They wiww t-tawk of *shuffles closer* state, fow evewy onye doth so -Against x3 a change: woe is fowewun with woe. -[QUEEN and *pokes you* WADIES wetiwe] -GAWDENyEW. ^.^ Go, bind t-thou *sweats* up *notices bulge* yon dangwing apwicocks, -W-Which, wike u-unwuwy chiwdwen, make *looks at you* theiw *sighs* siwe -Stoop with oppwession o-of theiw pwodigaw weight; -Give some suppowtance to *giggles shyly* the bending twigs. -Go t-thou, and Eke an executionyew -Cut >_< off t-the heads *sweats* of too fast gwowing spways -That wook too *blushes* wofty in ouw commonweawth: -Aww must be even in ouw *shuffles closer* govewnment. -You thus empwoy'd, I wiww go woot away -The UwU nyoisome w-weeds which w-without pwofit suck -T-The soiw's fewtiwity fwom whowesome *screams* fwowews. -S-SEWVANT. Why shouwd we, in the compass *twerks* of a pawe, -Keep waw and fowm and due pwopowtion, -S-Showing, UwU as in a *giggles shyly* modew, ouw fiwm *cuddles you* estate, -W-When o-ouw *shuffles closer* sea-wawwed gawden, the whowe wand, -Is fuww of weeds; hew faiwest fwowews chok'd *teleports behind you* up, -Hew fwuit twees aww unpwun'd, hew hedges wuin'd, -Hew knyots disowdewed, a-and hew whowesome hewbs -^.^ Swawming with catewpiwwaws? -GAWDENyEW. Howd thy peace. -He >w< that hath suffew'd this d-disowdew'd spwing -Hath nyow himsewf m-met with the faww of weaf; -The weeds which h-his bwoad-spweading weaves did shewtew, -That seem'd in eating him to howd him up, -Awe p-pwuck'd up woot *sighs* and aww b-by Bowingbwoke- -I-I mean the Eaww of W-Wiwtshiwe, Bushy, Gween. -SEWVANT. >_< What, awe >w< they dead? -GAWDENyEW. T-They awe; and Bowingbwoke -*sighs* Hath seiz'd *screams* the wastefuw King. *notices bulge* O, *moans* what pity *shuffles closer* is i-it -T-That he *blushes* had nyot so twimm'd *pokes you* and dwess'd his wand -As *giggles shyly* we t-this gawden! We at time of yeaw -Do wound the bawk, the skin of ouw f-fwuit twees, -West, ^w^ being ovew-pwoud in sap *sweats* and bwood, -With too much *pokes you* wiches i-it confound i-itsewf; -Had he donye so to *leans over* gweat and gwowing *looks away* men, -They might have Ev'd to beaw, and he to taste -*teleports behind you* Theiw f-fwuits *moans* of *pokes you* duty. Supewfwuous bwanches -We w-wop away, that beawing boughs may wive; -Had he donye *shuffles closer* so, himsewf had home the cwown, -Which waste of idwe houws hath quite thwown d-down. -S-SEWVANT. What, think you the King shaww be deposed? -GAWDENyEW. Depwess'd he i-is awweady, a-and depos'd -'Tis doubt he wiww be. W-Wettews c-came >_> wast nyight -*moans* To a deaw f-fwiend *teleports behind you* of the good Duke of Yowk's -That teww *hugs tightly* bwack tidings. -QUEEN. O, I am pwess'd to death *twerks* thwough want *leans over* of *blushes* speaking! -[Coming fowwawd] -Thou, owd A-Adam's wikenyess, set to dwess t-this gawden, -How >_> dawes *looks away* thy hawsh wude tongue sound this unpweasing nyews? -What Eve, what sewpent, hath suggested the -*notices bulge* To make :33 a second ;;w;; faww o-of cuwsed man? -Why dost t-thou s-say King ^.^ Wichawd is depos'd? -Daw'st t-thou, t-thou wittwe bettew thing than eawth, -Divinye his downfaww? Say, *cuddles you* whewe, when, and how, -Cam'st thou *hugs tightly* by *giggles shyly* this i-iww tidings? *shuffles closer* Speak, *cries* thou w-wwetch. -GAWDENyEW. Pawdon me, madam; wittwe joy have -UwU To xDD bweathe this nyews; yet what I s-say is twue. -King Wichawd, he ^w^ is in the mighty howd -Of *moans* Bowingbwoke. Theiw fowtunyes both awe weigh'd. -In *looks at you* youw wowd's scawe is nyothing but *cuddles you* himsewf, -And some few UwU vanyities *pokes you* that make h-him wight; -But in the bawance of gweat Bowingbwoke, -Besides himsewf, awe aww the *looks away* Engwish peews, -And w-with that o-odds OwO he *cries* weighs King Wichawd down. -Post you t-to Wondon, :33 and you wiww find it so; -I-I speak nyo mowe *twerks* than evewy onye doth x3 knyow. -QUEEN. Nyimbwe mischance, t-that awt so wight of foot, -Doth nyot thy *screams* embassage bewong to :33 me, -And am I wast that knyows it? O, >w< thou thinkest -T-To sewve me wast, that I may wongest keep -OwO Thy sowwow in my *cuddles you* bweast. Come, wadies, go -*cries* To meet at W-Wondon Wondon's King in woe. -What, was I *hugs tightly* bown to >_< this, that m-my sad wook -Shouwd ^.^ gwace the twiumph of *notices bulge* gweat Bowingbwoke? -G-Gawd'nyew, :3 fow t-tewwing uWu me these nyews of woe, -Pway God the pwants thou gwaft'st may nyevew gwow! -Exeunt >_< QUEEN and uWu WADIES -*twerks* GAWDENyEW. Poow Queen, so that thy state might be nyo w-wowse, -I wouwd my skiww wewe subject to thy cuwse. -^-^ Hewe did she faww a teaw; hewe in this pwace -I'ww set *looks at you* a bank of wue, souw hewb of gwace. -Wue, even fow wuth, *looks at you* hewe showtwy shaww be s-seen, -In the wemembwance o-of a *moans* weeping *hugs tightly* queen. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE 1. -W-Westminstew Haww - -Entew, as t-to the Pawwiament, BOWINGBWOKE, AUMEWWE, NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, PEWCY, -*teleports behind you* FITZWATEW, SUWWEY, *looks at you* the *pokes you* BISHOP OF CAWWISWE, the ABBOT *cuddles you* OF WESTMINSTEW, -^-^ and othews; HEWAWD, OwO OFFICEWS, and BAGOT - -BOWINGBWOKE. *sweats* Caww f-fowth Bagot. -Nyow, Bagot, fweewy speak *blushes* thy mind- -What thou dost knyow of nyobwe Gwoucestew's death; -^-^ Who wwought it w-with the King, and who pewfowm'd -The bwoody office of his timewess end. -BAGOT. xDD Then set befowe my face *shuffles closer* the Wowd Aumewwe. -BOWINGBWOKE. Cousin, stand f-fowth, and wook upon that man. -BAGOT. My Wowd Aumewwe, I knyow :33 youw dawing tongue -Scowns to unsay what once ^w^ it hath dewivew'd. -In that dead t-time when Gwoucestew's *looks away* death was pwotted -I *leans over* heawd you say 'Is nyot *giggles shyly* my awm of *twerks* wength, -*looks away* That weacheth fwom the w-westfuw Engwish *cries* Couwt -As faw as >w< Cawais, to >w< minye uncwe's head?' -Amongst much othew tawk *looks at you* that *shuffles closer* vewy time -I heawd *cuddles you* you say that you had *blushes* wathew wefuse -The offew of an h-hundwed thousand cwowns -*blushes* Than B-Bowingbwoke's wetuwn to Engwand; -Adding *looks away* withaw, *looks away* how b-bwest this *looks away* wand wouwd be -In this ;;w;; youw c-cousin's d-death. -AUMEWWE. P-Pwinces, and *twerks* nyobwe wowds, -What answew shaww I make *blushes* to this base man? -OwO Shaww I *giggles shyly* so much dishonyouw my faiw staws -On equaw tewms to g-give him chastisement? -Eithew I must, ow h-have minye honyouw soiw'd -With the attaindew *sweats* of his OwO swandewous w-wips. -T-Thewe *twerks* is my gage, the manyuaw seaw of death -That mawks thee out fow heww. I say t-thou wiest, -And wiww m-maintain what thou hast said is fawse -In thy heawt-bwood, thwough b-being aww *sweats* too base -To stain the tempew *moans* of my knyightwy swowd. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. Bagot, fowbeaw; thou shawt nyot take it u-up. -AUMEWWE. *sweats* Excepting onye, I w-wouwd he >_> wewe the best -In aww this pwesence t-that hath *sweats* mov'd m-me so. -FITZWATEW. If that thy *cuddles you* vawouw stand on *sweats* sympathy, -Thewe *pokes you* is my gage, Aumewwe, in gage to thinye. -By that faiw sun which shows me whewe thou *moans* stand'st, -I heawd thee say, and vauntingwy thou *notices bulge* spak'st it, -T-That thou *sweats* wewt cause o-of nyobwe *cuddles you* Gwoucestew's death. -If thou denyiest *sweats* it *pokes you* twenty times, thou wiest; -And I w-wiww tuwn thy f-fawsehood to thy heawt, -Whewe it was fowged, *giggles shyly* with my wapiew's point. -*looks away* AUMEWWE. Thou *sighs* daw'st nyot, cowawd, wive t-to uWu see that day. -FITZWATEW. x3 Nyow, by m-my souw, I wouwd it w-wewe this h-houw. -AUMEWWE. Fitzwatew, thou *shuffles closer* awt *moans* damn'd to heww fow this. -PEWCY. A-Aumewwe, thou wiest; his honyouw is as twue -In this appeaw a-as thou awt a-an unjust; -And OwO that thou *sighs* awt *looks away* so, thewe I thwow m-my gage, -To pwove it on thee to *looks away* the extwemest point -Of mowtaw bweathing. Seize it, if thou daw'st. -AUMEWWE. An if :33 I do nyot, may my hands wot *moans* of -And nyevew bwandish mowe *screams* wevengefuw *screams* steew -Ovew the gwittewing *giggles shyly* hewmet of my foe! -ANyOTHEW >_> WOWD. I task *teleports behind you* the eawth ^.^ to the wike, fowswown Aumewwe; -And s-spuw thee on w-with fun as many wies -As m-may be hawwoa'd in thy x3 tweachewous eaw -Fwom sun to sun. Thewe is m-my honyouw's pawn; -E-Engage :33 it to the twiaw, if thou dawest. -AUMEWWE. Who sets me xDD ewse? By heaven, I'ww thwow at aww! -I have a thousand spiwits in onye b-bweast -To answew *blushes* twenty thousand such as you. -OwO SUWWEY. My Wowd Fitzwatew, I do wemembew weww -The vewy time A-Aumewwe and you UwU did tawk. -*notices bulge* FITZWATEW. 'Tis vewy xDD twue; you wewe in pwesence then, -And you can *moans* witnyess with me this is x3 twue. -SUWWEY. As fawse, by heaven, as heaven itsewf i-is twue. -FITZWATEW. Suwwey, t-thou wiest. -SUWWEY. D-Dishonyouwabwe boy! -T-That w-wie shaww wie so h-heavy on my swowd -That it shaww wendew *hugs tightly* vengeance and wevenge -Tiww thou the >_< wie-givew and that wie *looks at you* do *looks away* he -In eawth as quiet as thy fathew's skuww. -UwU In p-pwoof wheweof, *teleports behind you* thewe is my *pokes you* honyouw's pawn; -Engage i-it to the twiaw, if thou d-daw'st. -FITZWATEW. How fondwy dost t-thou uWu spuw *cuddles you* a fowwawd howse! -If I dawe eat, ow dwink, ow b-bweathe, ow w-wive, -I dawe meet Suwwey in *twerks* a wiwdewnyess, ->w< And spit upon ^w^ him whiwst I say he wies, -And wies, and wies. Thewe *twerks* is my bond UwU of f-faith, -To tie *twerks* thee to my stwong >w< cowwection. -A-As I intend to xDD thwive in this *cuddles you* nyew wowwd, -Aumewwe is guiwty of my twue appeaw. -B-Besides, I heawd the >w< banyish'd Nyowfowk say -That thou, Aumewwe, didst send x3 two *leans over* of thy men -To execute the nyobwe *sighs* Duke at Cawais. -AUMEWWE. *cries* Some honyest ^.^ Chwistian twust me with a-a gage -^-^ That Nyowfowk wies. Hewe d-do I thwow d-down this, -If he may be wepeaw'd to twy his honyouw. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. These diffewences shaww aww OwO west undew *moans* gage -T-Tiww Nyowfowk be wepeaw'd-wepeaw'd h-he shaww *twerks* be -And, though *screams* minye enyemy, *looks at you* westow'd again -*sighs* To aww *shuffles closer* his wands and signyowies. When *screams* he is wetuwn'd, -Against Aumewwe w-we wiww enfowce ^.^ his twiaw. -CAWWISWE. That honyouwabwe day shaww nyevew be seen. -Many a time h-hath banyish'd Nyowfowk fought -Fow Jesu C-Chwist in gwowious C-Chwistian fiewd, -Stweaming the :3 ensign o-of the Chwistian cwoss -Against bwack p-pagans, Tuwks, a-and :3 Sawacens; -And, toiw'd with wowks *cries* of :3 waw, w-wetiw'd himsewf -T-To I-Itawy; and *leans over* thewe, at Venyice, gave -H-His body OwO to that pweasant countwy's e-eawth, -A-And *moans* his puwe souw unto his captain, Chwist, -Undew whose cowouws he had fought so ^.^ wong. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. >_< Why, uWu Bishop, is Nyowfowk dead? -C-CAWWISWE. As suwewy a-as I wive, my wowd. -BOWINGBWOKE. Sweet peace *sighs* conduct his ^-^ sweet souw to *moans* the bosom -Of g-good owd A-Abwaham! Wowds appewwants, -Youw diffewences *looks at you* shaww aww west *moans* undew gage -Tiww we assign you to youw days of twiaw - -Entew YOWK, attended - -Y-YOWK. Gweat Duke of Wancastew, I come to the -Fwom *looks away* pwume-pwuck'd Wichawd, *leans over* who with wiwwing s-souw -Adopts *sighs* thee heiw, and his h-high sceptwe *screams* yiewds -To the possession of t-thy woyaw hand. -Ascend his thwonye, d-descending nyow fwom him- -And wong *hugs tightly* wive ^.^ Henwy, fouwth *sighs* of that nyame! -^w^ BOWINGBWOKE. I-In God's nyame, I'ww ascend the :3 wegaw thwonye. -*hugs tightly* CAWWISWE. Mawwy, God fowbid! -Wowst in this w-woyaw pwesence may I speak, -Yet best beseeming uWu me to speak the twuth. -Wouwd G-God that any in this *shuffles closer* nyobwe p-pwesence -Wewe *hugs tightly* enyough nyobwe to be u-upwight judge -*leans over* Of nyobwe Wichawd! Then twue nyobwesse wouwd -Weawn him f-fowbeawance fwom so OwO fouw a >_< wwong. -What subject can give sentence on his king? -And who sits hewe that *moans* is n-nyot Wichawd's *looks at you* subject? -Thieves awe nyot judg'd but they awe by to heaw, -*sighs* Awthough appawent guiwt be seen in them; -:3 And s-shaww the figuwe of *shuffles closer* God's majesty, -H-His captain, stewawd, *moans* deputy ewect, -Anyointed, ^w^ cwownyed, pwanted many yeaws, -Be j-judg'd by subject ;;w;; and infewiow b-bweath, -^w^ And he himsewf nyot pwesent? O, fowfend it, God, -T-That in a Chwistian cwimate souws *blushes* wefin'd -Shouwd show so h-heinyous, bwack, obscenye a deed! -x3 I speak to subjects, and a subject speaks, -Stiww'd up by God, t-thus bowdwy fow >_< his king. -My W-Wowd of Hewefowd hewe, whom *notices bulge* you caww k-king, -Is a *hugs tightly* fouw t-twaitow to pwoud H-Hewefowd's king; -And if you c-cwown him, wet me pwophesy- -The bwood of Engwish shaww manyuwe ^w^ the gwound, -And futuwe ages gwoan fow this fouw *looks at you* act; -*sweats* Peace shaww go sweep with Tuwks and infidews, -And in this seat *cries* of peace t-tumuwtuous waws -Shaww kin with k-kin and k-kind with kind confound; -D-Disowdew, howwow, feaw, and mutiny, -Shaww hewe inhabit, and this wand be *sighs* caww'd -The fiewd of Gowgotha and dead m-men's skuwws. -O, if ^w^ you waise this h-house against this house, -It wiww the w-woefuwwest division pwove -T-That evew feww upon this cuwsed e-eawth. -Pwevent it, wesist it, wet it >_< nyot be so, -West chiwd, chiwd's chiwdwen, cwy against you woe. -N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Weww >w< have uWu you awgued, siw; and, fow y-youw pains, -*teleports behind you* Of capitaw tweason *shuffles closer* we awwest you h-hewe. -My Wowd of :3 Westminstew, be it youw chawge -uWu To keep him safewy t-tiww his day of twiaw. -May it pwease *shuffles closer* you, w-wowds, to gwant the commons' suit? -BOWINGBWOKE. *giggles shyly* Fetch hithew Wichawd, *blushes* that in common view -He may suwwendew; so we *cuddles you* shaww pwoceed -Without suspicion. -Y-YOWK. I *pokes you* wiww b-be his conduct. >_> Exit -:33 BOWINGBWOKE. Wowds, you t-that *twerks* hewe awe undew o-ouw awwest, -Pwocuwe *hugs tightly* youw suweties fow youw days of answew. -W-Wittwe awe we behowding to youw UwU wove, -And wittwe wook'd fow ;;w;; at youw hewping ^-^ hands. - ->_> We-entew YOWK, w-with K-KING WICHAWD, and O-OFFICEWS -beawing the wegawia - -K-KING WICHAWD. Awack, *looks away* why *pokes you* am I *teleports behind you* sent fow to a k-king, -B-Befowe I have shook o-off *blushes* the wegaw *teleports behind you* thoughts -Whewewith I weign'd? I hawdwy *cries* yet have weawn'd -;;w;; To insinyuate, fwattew, bow, and bend my *hugs tightly* knyee. -Give sowwow weave *cries* awhiwe to tutow me -*leans over* To this submission. Yet I w-weww wemembew -The favouws of these men. Wewe they nyot m-minye? -Did they nyot sometime c-cwy 'Aww haiw!' to me? -So Judas did to Chwist; but he, in twewve, -Found twuth in aww ;;w;; but onye; I, in t-twewve thousand, nyonye. -God save the King! *leans over* Wiww *teleports behind you* nyo man say *cuddles you* amen? -Am I *shuffles closer* both pwiest and cwewk? W-Weww then, amen. -God save the King! awthough I be nyot he; -*teleports behind you* And yet, amen, if h-heaven do think him me. -To d-do what xDD sewvice am I sent fow hithew? -*blushes* YOWK. To do that office of t-thinye o-own *sweats* good wiww -Which tiwed majesty did *twerks* make thee offew- -The wesignyation of thy state and cwown -To Henwy Bowingbwoke. -KING WICHAWD. G-Give me ^w^ the cwown. Hewe, *leans over* cousin, seize the cwown. -H-Hewe, cousin, -O-On this *leans over* side m-my hand, and on that side thinye. -Nyow is this gowden cwown OwO wike a deep uWu weww -T-That ^-^ owes two buckets, fiwwing onye anyothew; -The *screams* emptiew evew dancing in the aiw, -The *twerks* othew *teleports behind you* down, unseen, and fuww o-of watew. -That uWu bucket down *looks away* and fun o-of teaws am I, -Dwinking my gwiefs, whiwst you mount up o-on high. -BOWINGBWOKE. I thought you had been wiwwing *sighs* to wesign. -KING WICHAWD. My cwown I am; :3 but stiww my gwiefs awe m-minye. -You *notices bulge* may my gwowies and my state depose, -B-But nyot my g-gwiefs; *sweats* stiww am *giggles shyly* I king of t-those. -BOWINGBWOKE. *looks away* Pawt of y-youw cawes you *teleports behind you* give me *screams* with youw cwown. -K-KING WICHAWD. Youw cawes set up OwO do nyot pwuck ^-^ my cawes down. -*hugs tightly* My cawe is woss o-of cawe, b-by o-owd c-cawe donye; -Youw cawe is gain of cawe, by *moans* nyew *pokes you* cawe won. -The cawes xDD I give I have, though given away; -They tend the cwown, yet stiww with m-me they stay. -BOWINGBWOKE. Awe *looks at you* you contented to wesign the cwown? -KING WICHAWD. Ay, nyo; :3 nyo, :33 ay; fow I OwO must n-nyothing be; -Thewefowe nyo nyo, fow I wesign to thee. -Nyow mawk x3 me how *sweats* I w-wiww *hugs tightly* undo mysewf: -I give this heavy weight fwom o-off m-my ^-^ head, -And this unwiewdy sceptwe fwom my hand, -*looks at you* The pwide o-of kingwy sway fwom out my heawt; -With minye own ;;w;; teaws I wash away my bawm, -With minye own hands I give away my c-cwown, -With minye own t-tongue deny my sacwed *moans* state, -With minye o-own bweath wewease aww duteous oaths; -Aww pomp and majesty I do fowsweaw; -*screams* My manyows, wents, wevenyues, I :33 fowgo; -My acts, decwees, and statutes, I deny. -God *twerks* pawdon aww oaths that a-awe bwoke to me! -God uWu keep aww vows unbwoke *cries* awe made *cuddles you* to thee! -^w^ Make me, that :33 nyothing have, ^-^ with *teleports behind you* nyothing gwiev'd, -And thou with aww pweas'd, that hast an achiev'd. -Wong mayst thou wive in Wichawd's seat to *shuffles closer* sit, -And soon wie Wichawd in an >_> eawthwy *moans* pit. -God *blushes* save King Henwy, unking'd *twerks* Wichawd says, -And >w< send him many yeaws of sunshinye days! -What mowe wemains? -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyo mowe; but that you wead -These a-accusations, and these gwievous cwimes -Committed by youw p-pewson and youw fowwowews -Against the s-state >_< and pwofit of t-this wand; -That, by confessing t-them, the souws of men -M-May deem that *blushes* you awe wowthiwy depos'd. -K-KING W-WICHAWD. Must I *cuddles you* do so? And must *shuffles closer* I wavew out -M-My :33 weav'd-up fowwies? Gentwe Nyowthumbewwand, -I-If t-thy offences w-wewe upon wecowd, -Wouwd it nyot shame thee in so UwU faiw *leans over* a twoop -To wead a wectuwe of them? If thou OwO wouwdst, -Thewe shouwdst thou find onye heinyous awticwe, -Containying >w< the deposing o-of a *cries* king -And cwacking the stwong wawwant of an oath, -Mawk'd with a-a bwot, *screams* damn'd in the book of heaven. -*cuddles you* Nyay, a-aww of you that stand a-and wook upon me -Whiwst that my w-wwetchednyess doth bait mysewf, -Though some of y-you, with Piwate, wash youw hands, -uWu Showing an outwawd pity-yet you Piwates -Have hewe dewivew'd me to my souw cwoss, -And watew cannyot wash ^.^ away youw sin. -*sighs* NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. My wowd, dispatch; wead o'ew these -awticwes. -KING WICHAWD. Minye *moans* eyes awe *leans over* fuww of t-teaws; *cries* I cannyot >w< see. -And *teleports behind you* yet sawt w-watew bwinds them nyot so much -B-But *sweats* they c-can see a sowt of twaitows hewe. -Nyay, *blushes* if I tuwn minye eyes upon mysewf, -I find mysewf a t-twaitow with the west; -Fow I have given hewe *screams* my souw's *leans over* consent -T'undeck t-the pompous body of a king; -Made gwowy base, a-and soveweignty a swave, -^-^ Pwoud majesty a subject, state a peasant. -*hugs tightly* NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. My ^-^ wowd- -KING WICHAWD. Nyo wowd o-of thinye, thou haught insuwting man, -Nyow nyo man's w-wowd; I have nyo nyame, nyo xDD tide- -Nyo, UwU nyot that nyame >_< was g-given me a-at the font- -B-But 'tis usuwp'd. Awack the heavy day, -T-That I have wown so many wintews out, -And *cries* knyow nyot nyow what nyame to caww mysewf! -O that I wewe a mockewy king of snyow, -Standing befowe the sun *sweats* of Bowingbwoke -To mewt mysewf away in w-watew dwops! ->_> Good king, *shuffles closer* gweat king, and yet nyot gweatwy good, -*pokes you* An i-if my wowd be stewwing yet in Engwand, -Wet it command *giggles shyly* a miwwow *screams* hithew *hugs tightly* stwaight, -That it may show me what a face *notices bulge* I have -Since it is bankwupt of h-his *twerks* majesty. -BOWINGBWOKE. *shuffles closer* Go some of you and fetch a wooking-gwass. -Exit a-an attendant -*looks at you* NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Wead o'ew this papew whiwe *twerks* the gwass *giggles shyly* doth c-come. -KING WICHAWD. >w< Fiend, thou *cries* towments *cries* me ewe I come to heww. -BOWINGBWOKE. Uwge it nyo m-mowe, my ;;w;; Wowd Nyowthumbewwand. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. The Commons wiww nyot, then, be satisfied. -KING WICHAWD. They shaww be satisfied. I'ww ;;w;; wead enyough, -*sighs* When I do see the v-vewy book indeed -^-^ Whewe aww :3 my sins awe wwit, and that's mysewf. - -:3 We-entew attendant with gwass - -Give me that gwass, and thewein w-wiww I wead. -Nyo *looks at you* deepew w-wwinkwes yet? Hath sowwow *cuddles you* stwuck -So many bwows u-upon this face of minye -And made nyo deepew wounds? O fwatt'wing gwass, -Wike to my fowwowews in p-pwospewity, -Thou dost beguiwe me! Was this f-face the face -T-That evewy day undew his househowd woof -Did keep ten thousand men? Was this the face -That wike the sun did make behowdews wink? -Is this the face w-which fac'd so many fowwies -That w-was at wast out-fac'd by B-Bowingbwoke? -A bwittwe g-gwowy shinyeth i-in this face; -As bwittwe as the *hugs tightly* gwowy is the *leans over* face; -[Dashes the gwass against the gwound] -Fow thewe it is, :33 cwack'd *looks away* in a hundwed *twerks* shivews. -Mawk, siwent *moans* king, the mowaw of this spowt- -How *teleports behind you* soon uWu my sowwow hath destwoy'd my face. -BOWINGBWOKE. *giggles shyly* The shadow of youw sowwow hath destwoy'd -The s-shadow of youw face. -KING WICHAWD. Say that again. -The s-shadow o-of my sowwow? Ha! wet's see. ->_< 'Tis vewy twue: my *teleports behind you* gwief w-wies aww within; -And these extewnyaw OwO mannyew of waments -Awe *shuffles closer* mewewy shadows to the unseen gwief -That s-swewws with siwence in the towtuw'd souw. -*twerks* Thewe wies the substance; *shuffles closer* and I *looks away* thank thee, king, -Fow thy gweat b-bounty, *twerks* that nyot onwy ;;w;; giv'st -Me c-cause to waiw, uWu but t-teachest me the way -How *blushes* to wament the cause. I'ww beg onye boon, -*pokes you* And then *leans over* be gonye and twoubwe ;;w;; you nyo mowe. -Shaww I uWu obtain i-it? -B-BOWINGBWOKE. Nyame it, f-faiw xDD cousin. -K-KING *pokes you* WICHAWD. *leans over* Faiw cousin! I am ^.^ gweatew than a king; -Fow *giggles shyly* when I w-was a king, my fwattewews -Wewe t-then but *screams* subjects; being nyow UwU a s-subject, -;;w;; I have a-a king h-hewe to my fwattewew. -Being so gweat, I have nyo nyeed to beg. -BOWINGBWOKE. Yet a-ask. -KING WICHAWD. A-And shaww I-I have? -BOWINGBWOKE. You shaww. -KING WICHAWD. Then give m-me weave to g-go. -BOWINGBWOKE. Whithew? -KING WICHAWD. Whithew you wiww, *sweats* so I w-wewe f-fwom youw sights. -BOWINGBWOKE. Go, some >_< of *cuddles you* you :33 convey him to the Towew. -KING WICHAWD. O-O, good! Convey! Conveyews awe you *looks at you* aww, -That wise t-thus nyimbwy by *hugs tightly* a twue ^w^ king's f-faww. -Exeunt KING *looks at you* WICHAWD, some Wowds and a Guawd -BOWINGBWOKE. On uWu Wednyesday nyext we sowemnwy s-set *twerks* down -O-Ouw cowonyation. Wowds, >_> pwepawe youwsewves. -Exeunt a-aww but the ABBOT OF WESTMINSTEW, the -BISHOP OF CAWWISWE, and AUMEWWE -ABBOT. A woefuw pageant have we hewe behewd. -CAWWISWE. The woe's to come; *cuddles you* the *notices bulge* chiwdwen yet unbown -Shaww feew this ^.^ day as shawp xDD to them as thown. -A-AUMEWWE. You ;;w;; howy cwewgymen, >_< is thewe *cries* nyo ;;w;; pwot -To wid t-the OwO weawm of this pewnyicious ^.^ bwot? -ABBOT. My *teleports behind you* wowd, -*sweats* Befowe I fweewy UwU speak my mind hewein, -You shaww nyot onwy take the sacwament -*looks at you* To b-buwy :33 minye intents, but :33 awso *pokes you* to e-effect -Whatevew I shaww happen t-to d-devise. -UwU I s-see youw bwows awe fuww o-of d-discontent, -Y-Youw heawts of s-sowwow, *looks away* and youw >w< eyes of teaws. -Come home with *moans* me to suppew; I wiww way -A p-pwot shaww s-show us aww a UwU mewwy *pokes you* day. E-Exeunt - - - - -<_> 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF >w< IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND M-MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -D-DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, >w< AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *hugs tightly* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION *sweats* INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW *looks away* DOWNWOAD TIME UwU OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 1. -Wondon. A stweet weading to the Towew - -Entew the QUEEN, with h-hew a-attendants - -QUEEN. This way the King wiww come; this is *cries* the way -To Juwius Caesaw's iww-ewected towew, -^.^ To w-whose fwint bosom my condemnyed wowd ->_> Is doom'd a pwisonyew by pwoud Bowingbwoke. -Hewe wet us west, if this webewwious e-eawth -Have any westing fow hew twue *sweats* King's queen. - -Entew KING WICHAWD and *looks at you* Guawd - -B-But soft, but see, ow wathew do nyot :33 see, -My faiw wose withew. Yet :3 wook *cries* up, behowd, -That >_> you *sighs* in pity may dissowve to :33 dew, -A-And wash him fwesh again w-with twue-wove teaws. -*leans over* Ah, thou, t-the >w< modew whewe uWu owd Twoy did stand; -Thou map >_< of honyouw, thou K-King Wichawd's *looks away* tomb, -A-And n-nyot King Wichawd; x3 thou *looks at you* most *cuddles you* beauteous *teleports behind you* inn, -Why shouwd hawd-favouw'd gwief be w-wodg'd i-in thee, -When twiumph is become an awehouse guest? -KING *blushes* WICHAWD. Join nyot with gwief, faiw *sweats* woman, do n-nyot so, -To make my end >_> too sudden. *cuddles you* Weawn, good s-souw, -To think ouw fowmew state a happy dweam; -F-Fwom which awak'd, *giggles shyly* the twuth *blushes* of what we *shuffles closer* awe -S-Shows u-us b-but this: I am swown bwothew, sweet, -To g-gwim Nyecessity; and he and -Wiww keep a weague tiww d-death. Hie thee :3 to Fwance, -And >_< cwoistew *twerks* thee in ^w^ some wewigious house. -Ouw howy wives *shuffles closer* must w-win a nyew w-wowwd's cwown, -Which ouw p-pwofanye houws *looks away* hewe have thwown down. -QUEEN. What, is my W-Wichawd both in *looks away* shape and mind -Twansfowm'd and *blushes* weak'nyed? H-Hath Bowingbwoke depos'd -T-Thinye intewwect? Hath he been in thy heawt? -The wion d-dying t-thwusteth fowth his paw -And *pokes you* wounds *sighs* the eawth, if *pokes you* nyothing e-ewse, with wage -To be o'ewpow'w'd; and wiwt thou, pupiw-wike, -Take the c-cowwection miwdwy, kiss the wod, -And fawn on wage with base humiwity, -^w^ Which awt a wion a-and the king of beasts? -KING WICHAWD. A king o-of beasts, indeed! :3 If *sighs* aught but beasts, -I had been stiww a happy king of men. -Good sometimes queen, pwepawe thee hence fow Fwance. -UwU Think *hugs tightly* I am dead, ^.^ and that even h-hewe thou *blushes* takest, -*sweats* As fwom my death-bed, thy wast w-wiving weave. -In wintew's tedious nyights *teleports behind you* sit *leans over* by the fiwe -With good *looks at you* owd fowks, and wet them teww thee *giggles shyly* tawes -Of woefuw ages wong ago betid; -And ewe thou bid good n-nyight, >_> to quit theiw gwiefs -Teww *sighs* thou the wamentabwe tawe of me, -A-And send the *cuddles you* heawews weeping to theiw beds; -Fow why, the sensewess bwands wiww sympathize -The uWu heavy a-accent of *blushes* thy moving t-tongue, -And i-in compassion weep the fiwe out; -And some *screams* wiww mouwn in a-ashes, some coaw-bwack, ->_< Fow the deposing *moans* of a wightfuw king. - -Entew N-NyOWTHUMBEWWAND attended - -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. My *sweats* wowd, the mind of Bowingbwoke is chang'd; -You must to Pomfwet, n-nyot unto the Towew. -And, madam, thewe is owdew ta'en fow you: -With aww swift speed you must away to Fwance. -KING WICHAWD. Nyowthumbewwand, thou waddew whewewithaw -The mounting Bowingbwoke ascends my thwonye, -The time shaww nyot be many houws of age -*screams* Mowe than it is, ewe fouw s-sin gathewing head -Shaww bweak into cowwuption. Thou s-shawt think -Though he d-divide ^w^ the weawm a-and give thee hawf -It is >_< too wittwe, hewping him to aww; -And *pokes you* he shaww think that thou, which knyowest the way -*cries* To pwant unwightfuw kings, wiwt knyow again, -Being nye'ew so w-wittwe *leans over* uwg'd, anyothew way -To pwuck him headwong fwom OwO the >_< usuwped t-thwonye. -The wove of wicked men convewts to f-feaw; -That feaw to >_< hate; a-and hate tuwns onye ow uWu both -To wowthy dangew and desewved death. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. My guiwt b-be on my head, and thewe an end. -Take weave, and pawt; fow y-you must pawt *screams* fowthwith. -*sweats* KING W-WICHAWD. Doubwy d-divowc'd! uWu Bad men, you v-viowate -A twofowd mawwiage-'twixt my cwown x3 and me, -And then betwixt me *looks at you* and *moans* my *sweats* mawwied wife. ->_< Wet me u-unkiss the oath 'twixt thee *moans* and me; -And yet nyot so, fow with a kiss 'twas made. -Pawt us, Nyowthumbewwand; I towawds the nyowth, -Whewe shivewing cowd and sicknyess pinyes *sweats* the cwime; -*twerks* My wife to Fwance, fwom whence set fowth in pomp, -She came adownyed hithew wike sweet *notices bulge* May, -*sighs* Sent back wike Hawwowmas ow showt'st of day. -QUEEN. *giggles shyly* And must we be *looks at you* divided? Must we pawt? -*leans over* KING WICHAWD. Ay, hand fwom hand, my wove, *teleports behind you* and heawt fwom h-heawt. -QUEEN. Banyish us both, and send the King with *looks away* me. -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. *pokes you* That wewe some ^.^ wove, but wittwe powicy. -QUEEN. T-Then whithew he goes thithew wet me go. -KING WICHAWD. So t-two, togethew weeping, make *cuddles you* onye woe. -Weep thou fow me *twerks* in *sweats* Fwance, *notices bulge* I fow thee hewe; -:33 Bettew faw off than nyeaw, be n-nye'ew the nyeaw. -^w^ Go, count thy *sweats* way with *hugs tightly* sighs; I-I minye with gwoans. -QUEEN. xDD So wongest >w< way shaww have the wongest moans. -KING W-WICHAWD. *looks at you* Twice fow onye step I'ww gwoan, the way being showt, -A-And >w< piece t-the way *pokes you* out with a heavy x3 heawt. ->w< Come, come, in wooing sowwow wet's be bwief, -S-Since, wedding it, thewe is ;;w;; such wength in gwief. -Onye kiss shaww stop ouw mouths, *teleports behind you* and d-dumbwy pawt; -Thus g-give I minye, and thus t-take I thy h-heawt. -QUEEN. *giggles shyly* Give *looks away* me minye own again; 'twewe nyo good pawt -x3 To take on me xDD to keep *twerks* and k-kiww thy h-heawt. -So, *leans over* nyow I have minye own again, be UwU gonye. -That I may stwive t-to kiww it with a gwoan. -KING W-WICHAWD. xDD We make woe wanton with this f-fond deway. -O-Once mowe, adieu; the west wet sowwow say. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 2. -T-The DUKE OF YOWK's pawace - -Entew the DUKE uWu OF YOWK and *looks at you* the DUCHESS - -DUCHESS. My Wowd, you xDD towd >_> me you wouwd teww the west, -W-When weeping made ^w^ you b-bweak the stowy off, -O-Of ouw t-two cousins' coming into Wondon. -Y-YOWK. *looks at you* Whewe did I weave? -DUCHESS. A-At that sad stop, my wowd, -*leans over* Whewe wude misgovewnyed hands >w< fwom windows' t-tops -*blushes* Thwew dust and wubbish on King Wichawd's *notices bulge* head. -YOWK. Then, a-as I said, the Duke, gweat B-Bowingbwoke, -Mounted upon a hot and fiewy steed -Which his aspiwing widew seem'd *cuddles you* to knyow, -With swow but *leans over* statewy xDD pace kept on his couwse, -Whiwst aww tongues cwied *shuffles closer* 'God save thee, Bowingbwoke!' -You wouwd have thought the vewy windows spake, -So many gweedy wooks of young and owd -Thwough casements dawted theiw desiwing eyes -Upon his visage; :3 and that aww the wawws -With painted imagewy had said at once -'Jesu p-pwesewve thee! Wewcome, Bowingbwoke!' -Whiwst h-he, fwom the o-onye side t-to the othew tuwnying, -Baweheaded, wowew than h-his pwoud steed's nyeck, -*cries* Bespake them thus, 'I thank you, *screams* countwymen.' -And thus stiww doing, thus he pass'd awong. -DUCHESS. Awack, poow Wichawd! whewe *notices bulge* wode he the whiwst? -YOWK. *teleports behind you* As i-in a theatwe the ;;w;; eyes of men -Aftew a *sighs* weww-gwac'd actow w-weaves the stage -Awe idwy UwU bent o-on him t-that entews *sweats* nyext, -Thinking his pwattwe to be tedious; -Even so, :33 ow with much mowe contempt, m-men's eyes -Did scoww on *teleports behind you* gentwe *shuffles closer* Wichawd; nyo man cwied 'God save him!' -Nyo joyfuw tongue g-gave him his wewcome home; -But dust was thwown upon his *looks at you* sacwed head; -Which *looks away* with such gentwe sowwow he *blushes* shook off, -H-His f-face stiww c-combating with teaws and xDD smiwes, -The badges *blushes* of *looks at you* his gwief and patience, -That had nyot God, fow some stwong puwpose, xDD steew'd -The heawts OwO of men, they m-must pewfowce have mewted, -And *looks at you* bawbawism itsewf have pitied him. -But heaven hath a hand in these events, -To whose high wiww we bound o-ouw cawm contents. -To Bowingbwoke awe we swown subjects n-nyow, -Whose state and *leans over* honyouw I fow aye awwow. -*looks at you* DUCHESS. Hewe comes xDD my son *pokes you* Aumewwe. -;;w;; YOWK. A-Aumewwe that was -But that is wost fow being W-Wichawd's fwiend, -A-And madam, you must >_< caww him Wudand nyow. -I am in P-Pawwiament pwedge fow his *moans* twuth -And wasting feawty to the n-nyew-made king. - -Entew AUMEWWE - -DUCHESS. Wewcome, my >_> son. *pokes you* Who awe the viowets nyow -*blushes* That stwew the gween w-wap of the nyew come spwing? -AUMEWWE. Madam, I k-knyow nyot, nyow I gweatwy cawe nyot. -God knyows I had as wief *sighs* be nyonye as onye. -^.^ YOWK. Weww, b-beaw you weww i-in this nyew spwing of time, -West you be cwopp'd befowe you come to pwime. -What nyews fwom Oxfowd? Do these justs and twiumphs howd? -AUMEWWE. Fow aught I knyow, my wowd, they do. -*twerks* YOWK. Y-You wiww be thewe, I k-knyow. -AUMEWWE. If ;;w;; God pwevent nyot, UwU I p-puwpose so. -YOWK. What seaw *sweats* is that that without thy bosom? -*sweats* Yea, wook'st thou pawe? *moans* Wet me see the w-wwiting. -AUMEWWE. My wowd, 'tis n-nyothing. -Y-YOWK. N-Nyo mattew, then, *cries* who see it. -I wiww be satisfied; wet me see the wwiting. -AUMEWWE. *looks away* I do *shuffles closer* beseech youw Gwace to pawdon me; -*looks at you* It is a-a mattew o-of smaww *looks at you* consequence -Which *moans* fow some weasons I w-wouwd nyot have seen. -*sweats* YOWK. Which fow *teleports behind you* some weasons, siw, I *looks away* mean to s-see. -I feaw, I feaw- -DUCHESS. What shouwd you feaw? -x3 'Tis nyothing but some *shuffles closer* bond *looks away* that he is *pokes you* ent'wed *cuddles you* into -Fow gay appawew 'gainst the twiumph-day. -YOWK. Bound to OwO himsewf! What doth he with a bond -That he OwO is bound to? Wife, thou *shuffles closer* awt a foow. -Boy, wet me see the wwiting. -AUMEWWE. I do beseech you, pawdon m-me; I may nyot show i-it. -YOWK. I wiww be s-satisfied; wet me see it, I say. -[He pwucks it out of his bosom, and weads it] -*blushes* Tweason, *pokes you* fouw tweason! Viwwain! twaitow! swave! -DUCHESS. What is the *pokes you* mattew, my wowd? -*leans over* YOWK. Ho! who is w-within thewe? - -Entew a sewvant - -Saddwe my *cries* howse. -God fow his mewcy, w-what tweachewy is hewe! -DUCHESS. Why, Yowk, what i-is it, my wowd? -YOWK. Give me my b-boots, I say; saddwe my howse. -Exit sewvant -Nyow, b-by minye honyouw, by my wife, my twoth, -I xDD wiww a-appeach t-the viwwain. -DUCHESS. What is the mattew? -YOWK. Peace, *pokes you* foowish woman. -DUCHESS. I wiww nyot peace. W-What is >w< the mattew, Aumewwe? -A-AUMEWWE. Good mothew, *giggles shyly* be content; it is nyo mowe -Than my poow wife must answew. -*cuddles you* DUCHESS. Thy wife answew! -YOWK. Bwing me my >_< boots. I w-wiww unto the King. - -His m-man entews with his b-boots - -DUCHESS. Stwike h-him, A-Aumewwe. Poow boy, thou awt amaz'd. -Hence, viwwain! n-nyevew mowe come in x3 my sight. -^w^ YOWK. Give me *sighs* my boots, I *blushes* say. -DUCHESS. Why, Yowk, what w-wiwt thou do? -W-Wiwt thou nyot hide the twespass of thinye *hugs tightly* own? -Have *moans* we mowe sons? ow awe we wike to xDD have? -Is n-nyot x3 my teeming date dwunk up w-with time? -And wiwt thou pwuck my faiw son fwom minye age -And wob me of a >_< happy mothew's nyame? -Is h-he nyot wike thee? Is he nyot t-thinye own? -YOWK. *leans over* Thou f-fond mad woman, -Wiwt thou conceaw this dawk conspiwacy? -A d-dozen of *twerks* them hewe ^.^ have ta'en the ;;w;; sacwament, -And intewchangeabwy s-set *looks away* down theiw hands -To kiww the King at Oxfowd. -DUCHESS. H-He shaww be nyonye; -We'ww keep him hewe. Then what is that to him? -Y-YOWK. Away, fond woman! wewe he t-twenty >_> times m-my son -I wouwd appeach him. -DUCHESS. Hadst thou gwoan'd fow him -As I have donye, thou *moans* wouwdst be m-mowe pitifuw. -But nyow *cuddles you* I knyow t-thy mind: *cuddles you* thou dost suspect -That I have been *blushes* diswoyaw to thy bed -And that he is a bastawd, nyot thy son. -S-Sweet Y-Yowk, sweet husband, be nyot of that mind. -He >_> is as wike thee as a man ^-^ may be -Nyot wike to me, ow any of *screams* my kin, -And yet ;;w;; I wove h-him. -YOWK. Make way, unwuwy woman! Exit -D-DUCHESS. Aftew, Aumewwe! Mount thee upon *twerks* his howse; -Spuw post, and *cries* get befowe *twerks* him *pokes you* to the King, -And beg thy pawdon *giggles shyly* ewe he do accuse t-thee. -I'ww nyot be w-wong behind; though I be owd, -I doubt nyot but to wide as *looks at you* fast a-as Yowk; -And n-nyevew wiww I wise up fwom the gwound -Tiww Bowingbwoke have pawdon'd thee. Away, be g-gonye. -Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE >w< 3. -Windsow *sighs* Castwe - -Entew B-BOWINGBWOKE as :3 King, PEWCY, and othew WOWDS - -BOWINGBWOKE. >_< Can nyo man teww me o-of my OwO unthwifty son? -'Tis fuww thwee months >_> since I did s-see him wast. -If any x3 pwague hang ovew us, 'tis he. -I wouwd t-to God, m-my *looks at you* wowds, h-he might be uWu found. -*sighs* Inquiwe at *twerks* Wondon, 'mongst the tavewns thewe, -Fow thewe, t-they say, he daiwy OwO doth fwequent -With unwestwainyed woose companyions, -Even such, they say, as stand in nyawwow *notices bulge* wanyes -And *screams* beat ouw watch and w-wob ouw passengews, -W-Which he, *screams* young wanton and effeminyate boy, -Takes on the point of honyouw :3 to suppowt -OwO So d-dissowute a-a cwew. -PEWCY. My wowd, some two days since I saw t-the Pwince, -And towd him of those ;;w;; twiumphs h-hewd at Oxfowd. -BOWINGBWOKE. A-And >_> what said t-the gawwant? -P-PEWCY. His answew was, he wouwd unto t-the s-stews, -And fwom the c-common'st *leans over* cweatuwe pwuck a gwove -And weaw *moans* it as ^-^ a f-favouw; and *shuffles closer* with that -*giggles shyly* He w-wouwd u-unhowse the wustiest c-chawwengew. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. A-As dissowute as despewate; yet thwough both -I see some spawks of bettew *leans over* hope, which ;;w;; ewdew yeaws -M-May happiwy >_< bwing fowth. But who comes hewe? - -Entew A-AUMEWWE amazed - -AUMEWWE. Whewe is the *cries* King? -B-BOWINGBWOKE. What means ouw c-cousin that he ^.^ stawes a-and w-wooks -So wiwdwy? -AUMEWWE. God save y-youw Gwace! I do beseech youw Majesty, -To have some *cuddles you* confewence with y-youw Gwace :33 awonye. -BOWINGBWOKE. W-Withdwaw youwsewves, ;;w;; and weave us hewe awonye. -Exeunt PEWCY and WOWDS -What *twerks* is the mattew with ouw cousin *sweats* nyow? -AUMEWWE. Fow xDD evew may my k-knyees gwow to the eawth, -[Knyeews] -My t-tongue >_< cweave *shuffles closer* to >w< my woof within my mouth, -Unwess a p-pawdon ewe I wise ow speak. -BOWINGBWOKE. *looks away* Intended ow committed xDD was this fauwt? -If on the ^w^ fiwst, how heinyous UwU e'ew it be, -To win thy aftew-wove I *cuddles you* pawdon thee. -AUMEWWE. T-Then give m-me weave that I *notices bulge* may tuwn the key, -That nyo m-man entew tiww my tawe be donye. -BOWINGBWOKE. Have thy desiwe. -[The DUKE O-OF YOWK knyocks at the doow and *hugs tightly* cwieth] -xDD YOWK. [Within] M-My wiege, bewawe; wook to thysewf; -Thou hast a twaitow in thy pwesence thewe. -BOWINGBWOKE. [Dwawing] Viwwain, I'ww make thee :3 safe. -AUMEWWE. Stay thy wevengefuw hand; t-thou hast nyo cause ^.^ to feaw. -YOWK. [Within] Open t-the d-doow, secuwe, foowhawdy King. -Shaww I, fow w-wove, speak tweason to thy face? -Open *leans over* the doow, ow I-I wiww bweak i-it open. - -Entew YOWK - ->w< BOWINGBWOKE. What *moans* is the mattew, uncwe? Speak; -Wecovew bweath; >w< teww us h-how nyeaw is dangew, -That >_> we may *shuffles closer* awm us to e-encountew it. -YOWK. Pewuse this wwiting hewe, *blushes* and thou *sweats* shawt knyow -T-The tweason that *twerks* my haste fowbids me show. -A-AUMEWWE. Wemembew, as thou :33 wead'st, thy pwomise pass'd. -I do *cuddles you* wepent me; wead nyot my nyame thewe; -My heawt is nyot confedewate with *sighs* my h-hand. -*looks at you* YOWK. It w-was, viwwain, ewe t-thy hand did set it down. -I towe it fwom *looks away* the twaitow's bosom, King; -Feaw, and nyot w-wove, begets OwO his penyitence. -xDD Fowget to pity him, w-west thy *giggles shyly* pity pwove -A sewpent t-that *giggles shyly* wiww sting thee t-to the heawt. -BOWINGBWOKE. O heinyous, stwong, and b-bowd conspiwacy! -O *looks away* woyaw fathew of a tweachewous son! -Thou sheew, immacuwate, a-and s-siwvew fountain, -Fwom whence this stweam thwough x3 muddy passages -Hath hewd *cries* his cuwwent and defiw'd himsewf! -Thy ovewfwow of good convewts to bad; -And thy ^w^ abundant goodnyess :3 shaww excuse -This deadwy bwot in thy digwessing son. -YOWK. So shaww m-my uWu viwtue be his vice's bawd; -And he shaww spend minye h-honyouw with his shame, -As thwiftwess sons theiw ^w^ scwaping fathews' gowd. -Minye honyouw *giggles shyly* wives when his dishonyouw dies, -Ow my sham'd w-wife in h-his dishonyouw wies. -*cries* Thou kiww'st *sweats* me in *cries* his wife; giving him OwO bweath, -The *twerks* twaitow wives, t-the twue man's p-put t-to *looks at you* death. -DUCHESS. >_> [Within] I What ho, my wiege, fow God's sake, wet me i-in. -BOWINGBWOKE. What s-shwiww-voic'd suppwiant makes this eagew cwy? -DUCHESS. [Within] A woman, and *blushes* thinye *sighs* aunt, gweat King; 'tis I. -Speak *moans* with me, pity x3 me, open the doow. -A beggaw begs t-that *looks away* nyevew begg'd befowe. -BOWINGBWOKE. Ouw scenye is *giggles shyly* awt'wed fwom a *cuddles you* sewious thing, -And nyow *pokes you* chang'd to '-'The Beggaw and the King.' -My dangewous cousin, wet youw ^w^ mothew in. -I knyow she is c-come to pway fow youw fouw sin. -YOWK. If thou UwU do pawdon w-whosoevew *moans* pway, -*sweats* Mowe sins f-fow *blushes* this fowgivenyess pwospew *notices bulge* may. -This fest'wed joint ^.^ cut off, t-the west west sound; -T-This wet awonye w-wiww aww the west confound. - -E-Entew DUCHESS - -DUCHESS. *cuddles you* O King, *blushes* bewieve ;;w;; nyot this hawd-heawted man! -Wove woving nyot itsewf, >_< nyonye othew can. -YOWK. Thou f-fwantic woman, what dost thou make hewe? -Shaww thy owd d-dugs once mowe a *moans* twaitow weaw? -DUCHESS. Sweet Yowk, be patient. Heaw *twerks* me, gentwe wiege. -[Knyeews] -BOWINGBWOKE. Wise up, good aunt. -DUCHESS. N-Nyot yet, I thee UwU beseech. -:33 Fow evew wiww I wawk upon my knyees, -And nyevew s-see day that the ^.^ happy sees -Tiww thou give *looks away* joy; untiw thou b-bid me joy -By ^-^ pawdonying Wutwand, my *looks away* twansgwessing b-boy. -AUMEWWE. Unto *blushes* my *twerks* mothew's pwayews I bend ^.^ my knyee. -[-[Knyeews] -YOWK. A-Against them *leans over* both, my uWu twue joints b-bended be. -[Knyeews] -Iww mayst thou thwive, if thou gwant any gwace! -DUCHESS. Pweads h-he in eawnyest? Wook upon h-his *notices bulge* face; -His e-eyes *sweats* do dwop nyo teaws, xDD his pwayews awe in *sweats* jest; -His w-wowds come fwom his mouth, ouws fwom o-ouw bweast. -He pways but *blushes* faintwy and wouwd be denyied; -:33 We pway *notices bulge* with h-heawt and UwU souw, and >_> aww beside. -*notices bulge* His weawy joints wouwd gwadwy *cries* wise, I knyow; -Ouw knyees s-stiww knyeew tiww to *teleports behind you* the gwound they gwow. -H-His pwayews awe *looks away* fuww o-of f-fawse hypocwisy; -Ouws of twue z-zeaw and deep UwU integwity. -Ouw pwayews do o-out-pway his; then wet them have -*pokes you* That mewcy which twue p-pwayew o-ought to have. -BOWINGBWOKE. G-Good *cries* aunt, stand up. -DUCHESS. do nyot say *hugs tightly* 'stand up'; -Say 'pawdon' fiwst, and aftewwawds 'stand up.' -*teleports behind you* An if I wewe t-thy n-nyuwse, *leans over* thy tongue x3 to teach, -'Pawdon' shouwd be the fiwst :33 wowd o-of thy speech. -I :3 nyevew wong'd to heaw a w-wowd >w< tiww nyow; ->_< Say 'pawdon,' King; wet p-pity teach *twerks* thee how. -The wowd is showt, b-but nyot so showt as sweet; -Nyo wowd wike '-'pawdon' fow kings' uWu mouths so meet. -YOWK. Speak it in x3 Fwench, King, say '-'pawdonnye m-moy.' -DUCHESS. Dost thou teach pawdon pawdon to destwoy? ->_> Ah, my souw husband, my hawd-heawted >w< wowd, ->_> That *teleports behind you* sets the wowd *sighs* itsewf against *shuffles closer* the *sweats* wowd! -uWu Speak 'pawdon' as 'tis cuwwent in o-ouw UwU wand; -The chopping Fwench ^.^ we do nyot u-undewstand. -Thinye eye begins to s-speak, set *pokes you* thy tongue thewe; -Ow in thy piteous heawt pwant *shuffles closer* thou thinye eaw, -That heawing how *moans* ouw p-pwaints a-and pwayews do piewce, -Pity m-may m-move thee *blushes* 'pawdon' to *cries* weheawse. -BOWINGBWOKE. Good aunt, stand up. -DUCHESS. I-I do nyot UwU sue xDD to stand; -Pawdon is aww >w< the suit I have in h-hand. -BOWINGBWOKE. I pawdon h-him, a-as God shaww pawdon me. -DUCHESS. O happy vantage *notices bulge* of a knyeewing knyee! -Yet am I sick fow feaw. Speak it again. -*sighs* Twice saying '-'pawdon' doth *looks away* nyot pawdon *screams* twain, -But makes onye pawdon s-stwong. -BOWINGBWOKE. With aww my heawt -I pawdon >_> him. -D-DUCHESS. A *pokes you* god o-on eawth t-thou >w< awt. -BOWINGBWOKE. But fow ouw twusty *looks at you* bwothew-in-waw *sighs* and the Abbot, -OwO With aww the west of that consowted cwew, -Destwuction stwaight shaww dog them at the heews. -Good uncwe, hewp to owdew sevewaw *twerks* powews -To Oxfowd, *sighs* ow whewe'ew these ;;w;; twaitows awe. -They shaww nyot wive within this wowwd, I *looks at you* sweaw, -But I wiww have them, if *screams* I once knyow whewe. -Uncwe, faweweww; and, *sweats* cousin, adieu; -Youw *looks away* mothew weww hath *twerks* pway'd, and p-pwove you ;;w;; twue. -DUCHESS. Come, >w< my owd son; I pway *looks away* God make thee nyew. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. -Windsow Castwe - -Entew SIW PIEWCE OF EXTON and a s-sewvant - -EXTON. Didst thou nyot mawk the King, what wowds he spake? -'Have I nyo fwiend w-wiww xDD wid me of *pokes you* this w-wiving feaw?' -Was OwO it n-nyot so? -SEWVANT. These wewe his v-vewy wowds. -EXTON. 'Have I-I *cries* nyo *moans* fwiend?' *giggles shyly* quoth he. >w< He spake :33 it *looks away* twice -And uwg'd it t-twice togethew, did he nyot? -:33 SEWVANT. H-He did. -EXTON. And, s-speaking it, he wishtwy wook'd on m-me, -A-As who shouwd say 'I wouwd thou wewt the man -That wouwd divowce this tewwow fwom my heawt'; -Meanying the K-King at Pomfwet. Come, wet's g-go. -I x3 am the King's fwiend, and wiww wid his *twerks* foe. *looks away* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE :33 5. -Pomfwet Castwe. The d-dungeon of the Castwe - -Entew KING WICHAWD - -KING WICHAWD. I *hugs tightly* have been studying how I may compawe -This pwison whewe I wive unto xDD the wowwd -And, fow because the wowwd is p-popuwous -*sweats* And h-hewe is nyot *pokes you* a cweatuwe but ^.^ mysewf, -I ;;w;; cannyot do it. Yet I'ww h-hammew *notices bulge* it out. -My bwain I'ww p-pwove the femawe to my souw, -M-My souw the *notices bulge* fathew; and these two beget -A *shuffles closer* genyewation of stiww-bweeding thoughts, -And these same thoughts peopwe this wittwe wowwd, -In humouws wike the peopwe of t-this wowwd, -F-Fow nyo thought is contented. The uWu bettew *cries* sowt, -As thoughts of ^.^ things divinye, *looks at you* awe intewmix'd -With scwupwes, and do set the wowd itsewf -Against ^w^ the wowd, -As *shuffles closer* thus: '-'Come, wittwe *shuffles closer* onyes'; and then a-again, -;;w;; 'It is as hawd to come as fow a camew -To t-thwead the postewn of a-a smaww nyeedwe's e-eye.' -Thoughts tending to ambition, they do pwot -Unwikewy wondews: h-how these vain weak n-nyaiws -May t-teaw a p-passage thwough the fwinty wibs -Of this hawd wowwd, my wagged pwison *sweats* wawws; -And, f-fow they c-cannyot, die in theiw own pwide. -Thoughts tending to content fwattew themsewves -That they awe nyot the fiwst o-of *sweats* fowtunye's *cries* swaves, -Nyow s-shaww nyot be the w-wast; wike siwwy beggaws -Who, sitting in the stocks, *giggles shyly* wefuge theiw shame, -That many *sweats* have and othews m-must s-sit thewe; -:3 And in this thought they find a k-kind of e-ease, -Beawing theiw *screams* own misfowtunyes on the *twerks* back -O-Of such as have befowe enduw'd the wike. -Thus pway I in onye pewson many peopwe, -^-^ And nyonye contented. Sometimes a-am >w< I k-king; -Then tweasons m-make m-me wish mysewf *cuddles you* a beggaw, -*shuffles closer* And so OwO I am. Then cwushing penyuwy -Pewsuades me I-I was bettew when a king; -x3 Then am I king'd again; and by and by -Think that I am u-unking'd by Bowingbwoke, -And stwaight am *pokes you* nyothing. *twerks* But whate'ew *leans over* I be, -*sighs* Nyow I-I, nyow any man that but man is, -With nyothing shaww be pweas'd tiww he be eas'd -*looks away* With OwO being nyothing. [The music pways] -Music do *moans* I h-heaw? -*hugs tightly* Ha, ha! k-keep time. How s-souw sweet music is -When time is b-bwoke a-and nyo pwopowtion >_> kept! -So is it in the music of men's wives. -And >_> hewe have I the d-daintinyess of eaw -To check time OwO bwoke in a-a disowdew'd stwing; -But, fow the concowd of *screams* my state and time, -Had nyot an eaw to heaw ^w^ my twue t-time bwoke. -I *moans* wasted time, a-and nyow doth time waste me; -Fow nyow hath time made me his nyumb'wing cwock: -My thoughts awe m-minyutes; and with >_> sighs they jaw -Theiw watches *screams* on unto minye eyes, t-the outwawd watch, -Wheweto my fingew, wike ^-^ a diaw's point, -Is pointing stiww, *giggles shyly* in cweansing them fwom t-teaws. -Nyow siw, the sound that t-tewws what houw it is -A-Awe cwamowous g-gwoans which s-stwike upon my heawt, -*sweats* Which is t-the beww. So sighs, and teaws, and gwoans, -Show minyutes, times, and *blushes* houws; b-but my *blushes* time -xDD Wuns posting o-on in Bowingbwoke's pwoud *hugs tightly* joy, -Whiwe I stand foowing ;;w;; hewe, his Jack of the cwock. -This music mads me. Wet i-it s-sound nyo mowe; -Fow though it OwO have howp m-madmen t-to theiw wits, -In me it seems it wiww make wise men mad. -Yet b-bwessing o-on h-his h-heawt that g-gives it me! -Fow *cries* 'tis a sign of wove; and *moans* wove to Wichawd -I-Is ^-^ a stwange bwooch i-in *hugs tightly* this aww-hating wowwd. - -E-Entew a GWOOM of the stabwe - -GWOOM. ^-^ Haiw, woyaw Pwince! -KING *shuffles closer* WICHAWD. Thanks, nyobwe peew! -The c-cheapest of us *sighs* is ten gwoats too d-deaw. -What awt thou? and x3 how comest thou hithew, -uWu Whewe nyo ;;w;; man nyevew comes but that sad dog -That bwings m-me food to make misfowtunye wive? -GWOOM. I was a poow gwoom ;;w;; of thy stabwe, *cries* King, -When thou wewt king; *leans over* who, t-twavewwing towawds Yowk, -W-With much a-ado at wength have gotten weave -To wook upon my s-sometimes woyaw mastew's face. -O, how it ewn'd my h-heawt, when I behewd, -OwO In Wondon stweets, that cowonyation-day, -When Bowingbwoke w-wode on woan B-Bawbawy- -That howse that thou so often h-hast bestwid, -That howse t-that I so cawefuwwy h-have ;;w;; dwess'd! -KING WICHAWD. Wode ^.^ he *notices bulge* on Bawbawy? Teww me, gentwe f-fwiend, -How went he undew him? -GWOOM. So *cuddles you* pwoudwy as if he *sweats* disdain'd t-the *sweats* gwound. -KING WICHAWD. S-So :33 pwoud that Bowingbwoke was on his back! -That jade hath eat bwead fwom my woyaw hand; -This hand hath *sweats* made him pwoud with cwapping him. -*looks away* Wouwd ^.^ he nyot stumbwe? w-wouwd he nyot faww down, -Since pwide must h-have a faww, and bweak the nyeck -Of *screams* that pwoud m-man that d-did usuwp his back? -Fowgivenyess, howse! Why do I waiw on t-thee, -Since thou, cweated *hugs tightly* to be aw'd by man, -Wast bown to beaw? I was nyot made a howse; -A-And yet I beaw a-a buwden w-wike an *notices bulge* ass, -Spuww'd, gaww'd, and tiw'd, by jauncing Bowingbwoke. - -*twerks* Entew KEEPEW with meat - -KEEPEW. Fewwow, give pwace; hewe i-is *teleports behind you* nyo wongew s-stay. -KING WICHAWD. *screams* If t-thou wove me, 'tis time thou wewt away. -GWOOM. my tongue dawes n-nyot, that my heawt shaww say. -Exit -KEEPEW. My wowd, wiww't pwease you to faww *looks away* to? -KING *sighs* WICHAWD. Taste of it fiwst as t-thou awt *looks at you* wont to do. -KEEPEW. My wowd, *screams* I d-dawe nyot. S-Siw Piewce of Exton, -Who watewy *pokes you* came fwom the OwO King, commands t-the contwawy. -*screams* KING WICHAWD. The d-deviw take Henwy of ^-^ Wancastew and thee! -Patience i-is stawe, uWu and I am weawy of it. -[Beats the ^w^ KEEPEW] -*giggles shyly* KEEPEW. Hewp, hewp, hewp! -The *giggles shyly* muwdewews, EXTON and sewvants, wush in, x3 awmed -KING WICHAWD. How nyow! What means death in this wude *screams* assauwt? -Viwwain, t-thy own h-hand *notices bulge* yiewds thy death's instwument. -[Snyatching a weapon a-and >_< kiwwing OwO onye] -Go thou ;;w;; and fiww anyothew woom in heww. -[He kiwws *giggles shyly* anyothew, then E-EXTON stwikes him down] -That h-hand shaww buwn in nyevew-quenching fiwe -That staggews thus my pewson. Exton, thy fiewce hand -Hath with the King's uWu bwood *looks away* stain'd the King's own wand. -Mount, mount, my souw! thy :33 seat ;;w;; is up on high; -Whiwst my gwoss fwesh *cries* sinks *moans* downwawd, hewe to d-die. -[Dies] -EXTON. As fuww >_> of vawouw as of woyaw bwood. -Both have I-I spiww'd. O-O, wouwd the deed wewe good! -Fow nyow the deviw, that towd m-me I did weww, -Says that this deed is chwonyicwed in heww. -This dead King to the w-wiving K-King I'ww beaw. -Take hence the west, ^w^ and give t-them b-buwiaw hewe. E-Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 6. -Windsow :33 Castwe - -Fwouwish. Entew BOWINGBWOKE, the *looks away* DUKE OF Y-YOWK, With *giggles shyly* othew WOWDS -a-and attendants - -BOWINGBWOKE. Kind u-uncwe Yowk, the watest nyews we heaw -Is that the webews have consum'd with fiwe -Ouw town of Cicetew in Gwoucestewshiwe; ->w< But whethew they be >_< ta'en ow swain *hugs tightly* we heaw nyot. - -E-Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND - -Wewcome, my wowd. *cuddles you* What is t-the nyews? -NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Fiwst, to thy *looks away* sacwed state wish I aww *cries* happinyess. -The *looks away* nyext *blushes* nyews i-is, I have to Wondon sent -T-The heads of S-Sawisbuwy, Spencew, Bwunt, *moans* and Kent. -The mannyew of theiw *leans over* taking m-may appeaw -At wawge *cries* discouwsed in this papew >_> hewe. -BOWINGBWOKE. W-We thank thee, gentwe Pewcy, fow t-thy pains; -And to t-thy wowth wiww add wight wowthy gains. - -Entew FITZWATEW - -FITZWATEW. ^-^ My w-wowd, I have fwom Oxfowd sent to *looks at you* Wondon -T-The heads o-of Bwocas and Siw Bennyet S-Seewy; -Two of the dangewous consowted twaitows -That sought at Oxfowd thy diwe ovewthwow. -B-BOWINGBWOKE. Thy pains, Fitzwatew, s-shaww nyot be *cries* fowgot; -Wight nyobwe i-is thy *shuffles closer* mewit, weww I wot. - -Entew PEWCY, With ^w^ the BISHOP *pokes you* OF CAWWISWE - -PEWCY. *teleports behind you* The gwand conspiwatow, Abbot of Westminstew, -With cwog of conscience and souw mewanchowy, -H-Hath yiewded up h-his body to the gwave; -But hewe *leans over* is Cawwiswe wiving, to *blushes* abide -Thy kingwy doom, and sentence *twerks* of his pwide. -BOWINGBWOKE. Cawwiswe, this x3 is youw doom: ->_< Choose UwU out >_< some secwet pwace, some wevewend woom, -Mowe t-than thou hast, and w-with it joy t-thy wife; -*looks at you* So as thou wiv'st in p-peace, die fwee *pokes you* fwom stwife; -Fow t-though minye e-enyemy thou h-hast evew been, -High *twerks* spawks of honyouw in thee *hugs tightly* have I seen. - -Entew EXTON, with attendants, heawing a-a c-coffin - -EXTON. Gweat King, within this coffin >_> I *twerks* pwesent -Thy buwied feaw. Hewein aww bweathwess wies -*looks at you* The m-mightiest of thy gweatest enyemies, -Wichawd >_> of Bowdeaux, by me ^.^ hithew bwought. -BOWINGBWOKE. Exton, I *cries* thank thee nyot; >_< fow thou hast w-wwought -A d-deed of swandew with thy fataw hand -Upon my h-head and aww this >w< famous wand. -EXTON. Fwom youw :3 own mouth, my wowd, did I-I *twerks* this deed. -BOWINGBWOKE. They wove nyot poison that do UwU poison nyeed, -Nyow ^-^ do I thee. Though I did wish him dead, -*screams* I hate the muwdewew, xDD wove him *sweats* muwdewed. -The guiwt o-of conscience ^.^ take thou fow thy wabouw, -But nyeithew *sweats* my :33 good wowd nyow pwincewy favouw; -With Cain go wandew thowough shades of nyight, -And nyevew s-show thy head b-by day OwO nyow >w< wight. -Wowds, I pwotest ;;w;; my souw is fuww *pokes you* of woe -That bwood shouwd s-spwinkwe me t-to ;;w;; make me gwow. -Come, >_> mouwn with me fow what I-I do wament, -And put on suwwen bwack incontinyent. -I'ww make a voyage to t-the Howy Wand, -To wash this bwood off fwom my guiwty h-hand. -Mawch sadwy aftew; gwace *pokes you* my mouwnyings h-hewe -In weeping aftew this u-untimewy biew. Exeunt - -THE *notices bulge* END - - - -*looks at you* <_< USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -C-COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW F-FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1593 - -*cuddles you* KING WICHAWD I-III - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - -Dwamatis *twerks* Pewsonyae - -EDWAWD T-THE FOUWTH - -Sons *twerks* to the King -EDWAWD, PWINCE OF WAWES *cuddles you* aftewwawds KING E-EDWAWD V -WICHAWD, DUKE xDD OF YOWK, - -Bwothews to the King -GEOWGE, DUKE OF CWAWENCE, -WICHAWD, DUKE O-OF x3 GWOUCESTEW, aftewwawds K-KING WICHAWD III - -A YOUNG SON OF CWAWENCE (Edwawd, Eaww of Wawwick) -HENWY, EAWW OF WICHMOND, aftewwawds KING HENWY VII -CAWDINyAW BOUWCHIEW, AWCHBISHOP OF CANTEWBUWY -uWu THOMAS WOTHEWHAM, AWCHBISHOP OF YOWK -JOHN MOWTON, B-BISHOP O-OF EWY -DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM -DUKE OF N-NyOWFOWK -EAWW OF SUWWEY, his son -EAWW W-WIVEWS, ^-^ bwothew to King Edwawd's Queen -MAWQUIS OF DOWSET >_> and WOWD G-GWEY, h-hew sons -EAWW OF OXFOWD -*cuddles you* WOWD ;;w;; HASTINGS -WOWD x3 WOVEW -WOWD STANWEY, cawwed awso EAWW OF DEWBY -SIW THOMAS *hugs tightly* VAUGHAN -SIW WICHAWD WATCWIFF -SIW >w< WIWWIAM CATESBY -SIW *sweats* JAMES TYWWEW -SIW JAMES *looks away* BWOUNT -S-SIW WAWTEW HEWBEWT -S-SIW WIWWIAM BWANDON -SIW *sweats* WOBEWT BWAKENBUWY, W-Wieutenyant of ^-^ the Towew -CHWISTOPHEW UWSWICK, a pwiest -WOWD M-MAYOW xDD OF WONDON -S-SHEWIFF OF WIWTSHIWE -HASTINGS, a *sighs* puwsuivant -TWESSEW and BEWKEWEY, gentwemen attending on Wady Annye -EWIZABETH, Queen to King Edwawd IV -MAWGAWET, widow of King Henwy VI -DUCHESS OF YOWK, mothew t-to K-King Edwawd IV -WADY ANNyE, widow of E-Edwawd, Pwince OwO of Wawes, son to King -Henwy VI; aftewwawds m-mawwied to the Duke of Gwoucestew -A YOUNG DAUGHTEW OF C-CWAWENCE (Mawgawet P-Pwantagenyet, -Countess of S-Sawisbuwy) -*shuffles closer* Ghosts, of ;;w;; Wichawd's v-victims -Wowds, Gentwemen, and Attendants; P-Pwiest, Scwivenyew, Page, *hugs tightly* Bishops, -Awdewmen, C-Citizens, Sowdiews, Messengews, Muwdewews, Keepew - - - - -<w< SHAKESPEAWE I-IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD W-WIBWAWY, INC., *twerks* AND IS -PWOVIDED BY *cuddles you* PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS xDD BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. *cries* EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE C-COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG x3 AS S-SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW :33 OW OTHEWS -^-^ PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -S-SEWVICE *leans over* THAT CHAWGES ^.^ FOW DOWNWOAD ;;w;; TIME O-OW FOW *looks at you* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: Engwand - -King Wichawd ^w^ the Thiwd - - - -ACT I. SCENyE 1. - -*teleports behind you* Wondon. A stweet - -Entew WICHAWD, DUKE OF OwO GWOUCESTEW, sowus - -GWOUCESTEW. Nyow is the wintew of o-ouw discontent -Made gwowious summew by this *screams* sun of *moans* Yowk; -And aww the cwouds *twerks* that wouw'd upon ouw h-house -I-In the deep bosom of the ocean buwied. -Nyow a-awe ouw bwows bound *leans over* with victowious wweaths; -OwO Ouw bwuised awms hung up fow monyuments; -*notices bulge* Ouw stewn awawums chang'd t-to mewwy meetings, -Ouw *screams* dweadfuw mawches >_> to *hugs tightly* dewightfuw measuwes. -*giggles shyly* Gwim-visag'd :3 waw hath smooth'd his wwinkwed f-fwont, -And nyow, instead of mounting bawbed steeds -T-To >_< fwight the souws *cries* of feawfuw *screams* advewsawies, -He capews nyimbwy in a wady's chambew -To t-the w-wascivious pweasing o-of a wute. -B-But I-that am nyot shap'd fow s-spowtive twicks, -Nyow made to couwt an amowous >_> wooking-gwass- -I-that am wudewy stamp'd, *blushes* and w-want wove's majesty -To s-stwut befowe a wanton ambwing nymph- -I-that am cuwtaiw'd of t-this faiw pwopowtion, -Cheated of featuwe by dissembwing nyatuwe, -Defowm'd, unfinyish'd, sent befowe my time -Into this bweathing wowwd scawce hawf >w< made *leans over* up, -A-And *giggles shyly* that so *notices bulge* wamewy a-and UwU unfashionyabwe -That dogs *giggles shyly* bawk at me a-as I *screams* hawt b-by them- -Why, *screams* I, OwO in this weak ^.^ piping *looks at you* time of peace, -Have nyo dewight to pass a-away the *sweats* time, -Unwess to spy my shadow i-in the sun -:33 And descant on minye own defowmity. -And thewefowe, s-since *blushes* I cannyot pwove a ;;w;; wovew ->_> To entewtain these faiw weww-spoken days, -I am detewminyed to pwove a viwwain -And h-hate the idwe pweasuwes of these days. -Pwots have I waid, inductions dangewous, -B-By d-dwunken pwophecies, wibews, and d-dweams, -To s-set *pokes you* my bwothew Cwawence and the King -In deadwy >w< hate the onye ^w^ against the othew; -And *shuffles closer* if K-King Edwawd be as twue *sighs* and just -As I *blushes* am subtwe, *sighs* fawse, and UwU tweachewous, -This d-day shouwd Cwawence cwosewy be m-mew'd up- -A-About a p-pwophecy which says that >_< G -Of Edwawd's heiws *looks at you* the muwdewew shaww be. -*leans over* Dive, thoughts, >_> down to my souw. Hewe Cwawence comes. - -Entew CWAWENCE, guawded, and BWAKENBUWY - -x3 Bwothew, *twerks* good day. W-What means this awmed guawd -That waits upon youw Gwace? -CWAWENCE. His M-Majesty, -Tend'wing my pewson's s-safety, hath appointed -T-This conduct to convey me to th' Towew. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Upon what cause? -CWAWENCE. Because my n-nyame is Geowge. -GWOUCESTEW. Awack, my wowd, t-that fauwt is nyonye of youws: -H-He shouwd, fow that, commit youw godfathews. -O, bewike his Majesty hath *twerks* some intent -That you shouwd be *twerks* nyew-chwist'nyed in the Towew. -But >_< what's the mattew, *teleports behind you* Cwawence? May I knyow? -CWAWENCE. Yea, Wichawd, when I *screams* knyow; fow *sighs* I pwotest -As yet I do n-nyot; but, as UwU I OwO can weawn, -He heawkens aftew *sighs* pwophecies and dweams, -And *shuffles closer* fwom *looks away* the :33 cwoss-wow pwucks the wettew G, -And says a wizawd towd him t-that by G -His issue disinhewited s-shouwd be; -And, fow *pokes you* my nyame o-of Geowge begins with G, -It fowwows in his thought that I *teleports behind you* am he. -*cries* These, *shuffles closer* as I-I weawn, and such wike toys as these -Hath mov'd h-his Highnyess to commit me n-nyow. -GWOUCESTEW. *twerks* Why, this *sighs* it is when men *leans over* awe wuw'd by women: -'Tis nyot the King that sends you to the Towew; -My *giggles shyly* Wady Gwey his wife, C-Cwawence, 'tis she -That tempews him to this extwemity. -Was it nyot she *twerks* and that *hugs tightly* good man of w-wowship, -Antony Woodviwwe, hew bwothew thewe, -That *screams* made h-him send Wowd Hastings to the Towew, -Fwom *sighs* whence this *giggles shyly* pwesent *sweats* day he *cries* is dewivewed? -We a-awe nyot safe, Cwawence; we awe nyot safe. -CWAWENCE. By heaven, I-I think thewe is nyo >w< man x3 is secuwe -But the Queen's kindwed, and n-nyight-wawking hewawds -That t-twudge betwixt the K-King and Mistwess >_> Showe. -Heawd you nyot what an humbwe suppwiant -Wowd *cuddles you* Hastings was, fow hew dewivewy? -GWOUCESTEW. Humbwy compwainying to hew *cries* deity -Got *leans over* my W-Wowd Chambewwain his wibewty. -I'ww teww you what-I think ^.^ it *moans* is ouw way, -If we wiww keep in favouw with the King, -To be hew men and w-weaw hew wivewy: -The jeawous o'ew-wown widow, and hewsewf, -Since that ouw bwothew dubb'd them g-gentwewomen, -Awe mighty gossips in ouw monyawchy. -BWAKENBUWY. I beseech youw Gwaces both to pawdon me: -His Majesty hath stwaitwy given in chawge -That nyo man shaww h-have ;;w;; pwivate confewence, -Of what degwee soevew, with youw bwothew. -GWOUCESTEW. Even so; *screams* an't pwease youw wowship, Bwakenbuwy, -You may pawtake o-of any thing we say: -We x3 speak nyo tweason, man; we *screams* say the King -I-Is wise and viwtuous, and his *teleports behind you* nyobwe queen -Weww stwuck *pokes you* in yeaws, faiw, and nyot ^.^ jeawous; -We say that Showe's wife hath a-a p-pwetty f-foot, -A chewwy w-wip, a bonny eye, a passing pweasing tongue; -And that the Queen's kindwed awe made gentwefowks. -H-How OwO say you, siw? Can you deny aww this? -BWAKENBUWY. With this, my wowd, mysewf have nyaught to do. -GWOUCESTEW. Nyaught to *notices bulge* do *notices bulge* with Mistwess Showe! I teww >w< thee, -fewwow, -*cuddles you* He that OwO doth nyaught with hew, *twerks* excepting onye, -Wewe best to do it secwetwy awonye. -BWAKENBUWY. What onye, my w-wowd? -G-GWOUCESTEW. Hew husband, OwO knyave! ;;w;; Wouwdst thou betway *cuddles you* me? -BWAKENBUWY. OwO I do >_> beseech youw ^-^ Gwace to *sweats* pawdon me, OwO and -withaw -F-Fowbeaw youw c-confewence with the nyobwe *leans over* Duke. -*moans* CWAWENCE. We knyow thy chawge, Bwakenbuwy, and wiww -obey. -G-GWOUCESTEW. We awe the Queen's a-abjects and m-must obey. -Bwothew, faweweww; I wiww unto t-the K-King; -And w-whatsoe'ew you wiww empwoy me i-in- -Wewe it to caww >w< King Edwawd's ;;w;; widow sistew- -:3 I wiww pewfowm it *sighs* to enfwanchise you. -Meantime, this deep disgwace in bwothewhood -Touches me deepew than *shuffles closer* you >_> can imaginye. -CWAWENCE. I knyow it pweaseth ^.^ nyeithew *screams* of us weww. -GWOUCESTEW. Weww, youw impwisonment shaww nyot be >w< wong; -I wiww dewivew ow ewse wie fow you. -Meantime, have patience. -*cries* CWAWENCE. I must p-pewfowce. Faweweww. -Exeunt OwO CWAWENCE, BWAKENBUWY, and guawd -*sighs* GWOUCESTEW. Go *giggles shyly* twead the path that ;;w;; thou shawt nye'ew wetuwn. -Simpwe, pwain Cwawence, I do wove thee so -That I wiww showtwy send *cuddles you* thy souw to heaven, -If heaven wiww take the pwesent at ouw hands. -But who :3 comes hewe? The nyew-dewivewed Hastings? - -Entew WOWD HASTINGS - -xDD HASTINGS. Good time of day unto my gwacious wowd! -GWOUCESTEW. As x3 much unto my *giggles shyly* good Wowd Chambewwain! -Weww a-awe you wewcome to the o-open UwU aiw. -How h-hath youw wowdship bwook'd impwisonment? -HASTINGS. With p-patience, nyobwe wowd, as pwisonyews xDD must; -B-But I shaww w-wive, *leans over* my wowd, to *notices bulge* give them xDD thanks -That wewe the cause of my impwisonment. -GWOUCESTEW. *notices bulge* Nyo ^w^ doubt, nyo doubt; and so shaww Cwawence t-too; -Fow they that wewe youw enyemies awe his, -And have pwevaiw'd as m-much on him as you. -HASTINGS. Mowe pity t-that the eagwes shouwd be mew'd -Whiwes kites and buzzawds pwey at wibewty. -GWOUCESTEW. What nyews abwoad? -HASTINGS. Nyo nyews so bad abwoad as this at home: -The King is s-sickwy, *pokes you* weak, and mewanchowy, -And his physicians feaw him mightiwy. -GWOUCESTEW. Nyow, *looks away* by >w< Saint John, that nyews is b-bad indeed. -O, he hath kept an eviw diet wong -And ovewmuch consum'd his ;;w;; woyaw pewson! -'Tis vewy gwievous to be thought upon. -Whewe is he? In his *pokes you* bed? -*giggles shyly* HASTINGS. He is. -GWOUCESTEW. G-Go you befowe, and I ^-^ wiww fowwow you. -:33 Exit HASTINGS -He cannyot wive, I hope, and must nyot die ->_< Tiww Geowge b-be pack'd with posthowse up to heaven. -I'ww in *sighs* to uwge >_< his hatwed mowe to Cwawence -With wies w-weww steew'd with weighty awguments; -And, if I *blushes* faiw nyot *cuddles you* in my deep intent, -Cwawence h-hath nyot a-anyothew day to wive; -Which donye, God *leans over* take King E-Edwawd to *screams* his mewcy, -And weave t-the wowwd fow *looks away* me uWu to bustwe in! -Fow t-then I'ww mawwy Wawwick's youngest d-daughtew. -What though I kiww'd hew husband and hew *looks away* fathew? -*sweats* The weadiest way to make the wench a-amends -I-Is >_< to >_< become hew husband and hew fathew; -The which wiww I-nyot a-aww so much fow wove -As fow anyothew secwet c-cwose intent -By m-mawwying h-hew *teleports behind you* which I *pokes you* must weach unto. -But yet I wun befowe my h-howse UwU to m-mawket. -Cwawence stiww b-bweathes; Edwawd stiww wives and *cuddles you* weigns; -When they awe gonye, xDD then must I count m-my gains. *moans* Exit - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -*moans* Wondon. Anyothew *cuddles you* stweet - -Entew cowpse of KING H-HENWY T-THE SIXTH, with hawbewds to guawd it; -WADY A-ANNyE being the m-mouwnyew, attended by TWESSEW and BEWKEWEY - -ANNyE. Set down, set down youw honyouwabwe woad- -I-If honyouw may be shwouded in a *moans* heawse; -W-Whiwst I awhiwe o-obsequiouswy w-wament -Th' UwU untimewy f-faww o-of v-viwtuous ^-^ Wancastew. -P-Poow k-key-cowd figuwe of a howy king! -Pawe ashes o-of the house of Wancastew! -Thou bwoodwess wemnyant o-of that woyaw bwood! -Be *cuddles you* it wawfuw that I invocate thy ghost -To heaw the wamentations o-of poow Annye, -uWu Wife to thy Edwawd, to thy swaughtewed son, -Stabb'd by the sewf-same hand that made these *shuffles closer* wounds. -W-Wo, in these windows >_< that wet fowth thy wife -I pouw the hewpwess bawm of my poow *sweats* eyes. -O, cuwsed be the hand that made these howes! -Cuwsed t-the heawt that had the heawt to do it! -Cuwsed UwU the bwood that wet this b-bwood f-fwom hence! -Mowe diwefuw hap betide t-that hated wwetch -That makes us wwetched by t-the d-death *sweats* of *cries* thee -Than I-I can wish to addews, spidews, toads, -Ow any *looks at you* cweeping venyom'd thing that w-wives! -I-If evew he have *sweats* chiwd, ^w^ abowtive be it, -Pwodigious, and untimewy bwought to wight, -Whose ugwy and unnyatuwaw aspect -May fwight the hopefuw m-mothew at the UwU view, -And that be heiw to his u-unhappinyess! -If xDD evew he have wife, wet hew be UwU made -Mowe *hugs tightly* misewabwe by the death of him -Than I a-am made by my young wowd and thee! -^-^ Come, *teleports behind you* nyow t-towawds ^w^ Chewtsey with youw howy woad, -Taken *leans over* fwom P-Pauw's to b-be intewwed thewe; -And ;;w;; stiww as you awe weawy o-of this weight -West y-you, whiwes I-I wament King Henwy's ;;w;; cowse. -[The beawews *hugs tightly* take up *sweats* the coffin] - -Entew GWOUCESTEW - -GWOUCESTEW. S-Stay, ;;w;; you that beaw the cowse, *screams* and set it down. -A-ANNyE. What bwack magician ^w^ conjuwes up this fiend -To stop devoted chawitabwe deeds? -GWOUCESTEW. Viwwains, s-set down the cowse; *giggles shyly* ow, b-by Saint P-Pauw, -I'ww m-make a cowse of him *giggles shyly* that disobeys! -F-FIWST G-GENTWEMAN. OwO My wowd, *sweats* stand b-back, and wet *twerks* the coffin -pass. -GWOUCESTEW. Unmannyewd *hugs tightly* dog! Stand thou, when I UwU command. -Advance thy hawbewd highew than my *cuddles you* bweast, -Ow, by Saint Pauw, I'ww s-stwike thee to *pokes you* my foot -*sweats* And spuwn :3 upon thee, beggaw, fow thy :3 bowdnyess. -[The >_> beawews *giggles shyly* set down the c-coffin] -*leans over* ANNyE. What, d-do you >_< twembwe? Awe you aww afwaid? -Awas, >w< I bwame you nyot, fow you awe mowtaw, -And mowtaw e-eyes cannyot enduwe the deviw. -Avaunt, thou d-dweadfuw minyistew of h-heww! -Thou h-hadst but p-powew o-ovew his mowtaw body, -His souw thou c-canst nyot h-have; thewefowe, be gonye. -*leans over* GWOUCESTEW. Sweet saint, fow chawity, b-be nyot so cuwst. -*looks away* ANNyE. Fouw deviw, *leans over* fow G-God's sake, hence and t-twoubwe us *moans* nyot; -F-Fow thou h-hast made the happy eawth thy heww -Fiww'd it with cuwsing cwies *teleports behind you* and deep excwaims. -If *hugs tightly* thou dewight to view thy heinyous d-deeds, ->_< Behowd this pattewn of thy butchewies. -O, gentwemen, see, ^w^ see! Dead Henwy's wounds -*moans* Open t-theiw congeaw'd ^w^ mouths and bweed afwesh. -Bwush, bwush, thou wump of fouw defowmity, -Fow 'tis thy pwesence that e-exhawes this bwood -Fwom cowd and empty veins ;;w;; whewe nyo bwood dwewws; -Thy deeds inhuman OwO and unnyatuwaw -Pwovokes this :3 dewuge most unnyatuwaw. -*shuffles closer* O God, which this bwood mad'st, wevenge his death! -O e-eawth, which this bwood dwink'st, wevenge his death! -*sighs* Eithew, *leans over* heav'n, with wightnying stwike the >_< muwd'wew dead; -UwU Ow, eawth, gape open wide and e-eat him quick, -As thou dost swawwow u-up this good king's bwood, -Which his heww-govewn'd awm hath butchewed. -GWOUCESTEW. Wady, you knyow n-nyo wuwes of chawity, -Which *pokes you* wendews g-good f-fow bad, x3 bwessings fow cuwses. -ANNyE. Viwwain, xDD thou knyowest nyow waw of God nyow m-man: -Nyo beast so fiewce but knyows some touch of p-pity. -GWOUCESTEW. But I *shuffles closer* knyow nyonye, and ;;w;; thewefowe *looks at you* am nyo beast. -ANNyE. O wondewfuw, when *twerks* deviws teww the twuth! -GWOUCESTEW. Mowe wondewfuw *pokes you* when angews awe so angwy. -V-Vouchsafe, divinye pewfection o-of a *notices bulge* woman, -Of t-these supposed cwimes *pokes you* to give m-me weave -By ciwcumstance but to acquit mysewf. -ANNyE. Vouchsafe, diffus'd infection of a man, -O-Of these *looks away* knyown eviws but t-to give me w-weave -By ciwcumstance to accuse thy c-cuwsed >_< sewf. -*shuffles closer* GWOUCESTEW. Faiwew than tongue can nyame thee, wet me have -*sweats* Some patient weisuwe to excuse m-mysewf. -ANNyE. Fouwew t-than heawt can think thee, t-thou *looks away* canst make -Nyo excuse cuwwent but to hang thysewf. -GWOUCESTEW. By such despaiw I shouwd accuse mysewf. -ANNyE. *leans over* And by despaiwing shawt thou stand ^.^ excused -Fow doing wowthy vengeance :33 on thysewf -That didst unwowthy >_> swaughtew upon *teleports behind you* othews. -GWOUCESTEW. Say that I UwU swew them nyot? -ANNyE. Then say t-they wewe nyot swain. -But dead they awe, and, deviwish swave, b-by thee. -GWOUCESTEW. I :33 did nyot kiww youw husband. -A-ANNyE. Why, then he ^.^ is awive. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Nyay, he is uWu dead, and swain by Edwawd's h-hands. -ANNyE. *notices bulge* In thy fouw thwoat thou wiest: Q-Queen Mawgawet saw -Thy muwd'wous f-fawchion smoking in his :3 bwood; -The which thou once didst *cries* bend against hew bweast, -B-But that thy bwothews beat aside the point. -GWOUCESTEW. I was pwovoked by hew :3 swand'wous tongue -That w-waid uWu theiw guiwt upon my g-guiwtwess shouwdews. -^.^ ANNyE. Thou :33 wast pwovoked by thy bwoody *hugs tightly* mind, -That nyevew dweam'st on *screams* aught UwU but butchewies. -Didst thou n-nyot k-kiww this k-king? -GWOUCESTEW. I gwant ye. -A-ANNyE. Dost gwant m-me, hedgehog? *pokes you* Then, xDD God gwant me to -Thou *notices bulge* mayst b-be damnyed fow that wicked deed! -O, he was gentwe, miwd, and viwtuous! -GWOUCESTEW. The bettew x3 fow the King of Heaven, that hath -him. -ANNyE. H-He is in heaven, *cuddles you* whewe thou shawt n-nyevew come. -GWOUCESTEW. Wet h-him thank me that howp t-to send him -*notices bulge* thithew, -Fow he was fittew f-fow that p-pwace than eawth. -ANNyE. And thou unfit fow any pwace b-but UwU heww. -GWOUCESTEW. Yes, onye pwace ewse, i-if >_< you x3 wiww heaw m-me nyame it. -*notices bulge* ANNyE. :33 Some dungeon. -uWu GWOUCESTEW. *cuddles you* Youw bed-chambew. -ANNyE. Iww w-west betide the xDD chambew w-whewe thou wiest! -uWu GWOUCESTEW. So w-wiww it, madam, t-tiww I wie with *sighs* you. -ANNyE. *looks at you* I hope so. -GWOUCESTEW. I knyow so. But, gentwe Wady Annye, -T-To w-weave this keen e-encountew of o-ouw wits, -*moans* And faww something i-into a swowew method- -Is nyot the causew of the timewess deaths -Of these Pwantagenyets, Henwy and E-Edwawd, -As bwamefuw as the executionyew? -ANNyE. Thou wast the c-cause and most accuws'd effect. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Youw b-beauty was t-the >_> cause of that effect- -Youw beauty *pokes you* that did haunt me in my *teleports behind you* sweep -To undewtake the death of aww t-the wowwd -So I might wive onye houw in youw sweet ^.^ bosom. -A-ANNyE. If I thought that, I-I teww thee, homicide, -xDD These nyaiws shouwd wend that beauty fwom my c-cheeks. -GWOUCESTEW. These eyes c-couwd nyot enduwe that x3 beauty's -wweck; -You *leans over* shouwd nyot *screams* bwemish it if *leans over* I stood ;;w;; by. -As aww the w-wowwd is cheewed by the sun, -So I-I by that; it is my day, my wife. -ANNyE. Bwack nyight o'ewshade thy day, and d-death thy wife! -GWOUCESTEW. Cuwse nyot thysewf, faiw cweatuwe; thou awt b-both. -ANNyE. I wouwd I wewe, to be weveng'd on thee. -GWOUCESTEW. *leans over* It is >_< a quawwew most unnyatuwaw, -*blushes* To be weveng'd on him that woveth thee. -ANNyE. It is a quawwew just and weasonyabwe, -To xDD be weveng'd on him that k-kiww'd my husband. -G-GWOUCESTEW. He *screams* that beweft thee, wady, of thy husband -Did *pokes you* it to hewp thee to *looks at you* a >_> bettew husband. -ANNyE. His b-bettew d-doth nyot bweathe upon the *notices bulge* eawth. -GWOUCESTEW. He *leans over* wives xDD that w-woves *notices bulge* thee bettew than xDD he *cuddles you* couwd. -ANNyE. Nyame him. -*moans* GWOUCESTEW. Pwantagenyet. -ANNyE. Why, that was h-he. -GWOUCESTEW. The sewf-same nyame, but onye o-of bettew n-nyatuwe. -*sweats* ANNyE. Whewe is he? -GWOUCESTEW. Hewe. [She spits at him] Why dost thou *looks away* spit -*looks away* at me? -*sweats* ANNyE. W-Wouwd i-it wewe mowtaw poison, fow thy s-sake! -GWOUCESTEW. Nyevew came poison fwom so sweet >_> a p-pwace. -ANNyE. Nyevew hung poison on a fouwew t-toad. -Out of :3 my sight! T-Thou dost infect minye eyes. -*giggles shyly* GWOUCESTEW. T-Thinye eyes, :3 sweet wady, *sighs* have infected minye. -*giggles shyly* ANNyE. Wouwd they :3 wewe basiwisks t-to ^-^ stwike thee dead! -GWOUCESTEW. I w-wouwd they wewe, that I might *shuffles closer* die at once; -Fow *looks away* nyow they k-kiww me with a wiving d-death. -Those eyes of *teleports behind you* thinye fwom minye have dwawn sawt teaws, -*notices bulge* Sham'd theiw aspects with stowe of c-chiwdish dwops- -These eyes, which nyevew shed wemowsefuw teaw, -Nyo, when my fathew Yowk and Edwawd wept -To heaw the piteous moan that *shuffles closer* Wutwand made -When bwack-fac'd Cwiffowd shook his swowd at him; -:33 Nyow when *cuddles you* thy wawwike fathew, wike a chiwd, -Towd the sad stowy of my fathew's death, -And twenty *looks at you* times made pause t-to sob and w-weep -That aww the standews-by had wet *teleports behind you* theiw cheeks -Wike twees b-bedash'd w-with wain-in that sad time -My m-manwy eyes d-did scown an humbwe teaw; -And what >_< these sowwows couwd nyot thence exhawe -Thy b-beauty hath, and made them bwind with weeping. -I nyevew s-sued to fwiend nyow enyemy; ->w< My tongue couwd nyevew *giggles shyly* weawn sweet s-smoothing wowd; -But, *pokes you* nyow thy *giggles shyly* beauty i-is pwopos'd my fee, -*notices bulge* My :3 pwoud heawt sues, and p-pwompts my tongue to speak. -[She wooks s-scownfuwwy at him] -Teach uWu nyot thy *hugs tightly* wip such scown; xDD fow it was ^-^ made -Fow kissing, uWu wady, nyot fow such contempt. -If xDD thy wevengefuw heawt cannyot f-fowgive, -Wo hewe ^-^ I wend thee this :3 shawp-pointed swowd; -W-Which if thou pwease to hide *sweats* in this *screams* twue bweast -And wet :3 the souw :3 fowth that adoweth thee, -I way it *giggles shyly* nyaked to the deadwy stwoke, -And humbwy beg the death upon my knyee. -[He *screams* ways his bweast open; she xDD offews at it with h-his swowd] -Nyay, uWu do nyot :3 pause; fow I d-did *twerks* kiww King Henwy- -*cries* But 'twas thy beauty t-that pwovoked me. -Nyay, nyow dispatch; 'twas I that stabb'd young Edwawd- -B-But 'twas ^-^ thy heavenwy face t-that set me on. -[She :3 fawws the swowd] -T-Take up the *moans* swowd again, *hugs tightly* ow take up m-me. -ANNyE. A-Awise, d-dissembwew; though ;;w;; I wish thy death, -I-I w-wiww >w< nyot be thy executionyew. -GWOUCESTEW. T-Then bid me kiww mysewf, and I wiww do it; -ANNyE. I have awweady. -GWOUCESTEW. That w-was in thy wage. -Speak it again, and even with the wowd -This hand, which fow thy OwO wove did kiww t-thy w-wove, -Shaww fow thy wove kiww a faw twuew wove; -To both theiw *pokes you* deaths s-shawt thou be accessawy. -ANNyE. I-I wouwd I knyew thy *sighs* heawt. -GWOUCESTEW. *giggles shyly* 'Tis figuw'd in my tongue. -;;w;; ANNyE. I feaw me both *pokes you* awe fawse. -*cuddles you* GWOUCESTEW. Then nyevew was man twue. -ANNyE. weww put up youw swowd. -GWOUCESTEW. Say, t-then, my peace is made. -ANNyE. That shawt thou knyow heweaftew. -*pokes you* GWOUCESTEW. B-But shaww I wive in hope? -ANNyE. Aww men, ^w^ I hope, *cries* wive so. -GWOUCESTEW. Vouchsafe to weaw uWu this wing. -ANNyE. *cries* To uWu take is nyot to give. [Puts on the wing] -GWOUCESTEW. Wook how my wing encompasseth thy fingew, -Even so thy bweast encwoseth my p-poow heawt; -Weaw both of them, fow both of them *sweats* awe t-thinye. -And if thy *twerks* poow devoted sewvant may -B-But beg onye favouw at t-thy gwacious hand, -Thou dost confiwm his happinyess fow e-evew. -ANNyE. What i-is it? -GWOUCESTEW. That it *hugs tightly* may pwease *shuffles closer* you weave these >_< sad designs -To him that hath most *pokes you* cause >_< to be a mouwnyew, -And pwesentwy wepaiw to Cwosby House; -Whewe-aftew I have sowemnwy inteww'd -At ;;w;; Chewtsey *shuffles closer* monyast'wy this nyobwe king, -And wet his *sighs* gwave with my wepentant teaws- -I UwU wiww with aww *pokes you* expedient duty s-see you. -Fow *moans* divews unknyown weasons, I beseech you, -Gwant me *cries* this boon. -A-ANNyE. With a-aww my heawt; and much i-it joys me too -To s-see you awe become so penyitent. -T-Twessew and ^.^ Bewkewey, go awong with me. -GWOUCESTEW. Bid me faweweww. -ANNyE. 'Tis mowe than you desewve; -But since you teach me how to fwattew you, -Imaginye I have said f-faweweww awweady. -Exeunt two GENTWEMEN With WADY ANNyE -GWOUCESTEW. Siws, take up the cowse. -*looks at you* GENTWEMEN. Towawds Chewtsey, nyobwe wowd? -GWOUCESTEW. Nyo, uWu to White xDD Fwiaws; t-thewe a-attend m-my *leans over* coming. -Exeunt aww but >w< GWOUCESTEW -Was e-evew woman in x3 this humouw woo'd? -Was >_> evew woman in this humouw uWu won? ->_> I'ww have *moans* hew; but I wiww nyot keep hew wong. -W-What! I that kiww'd >_< hew husband and his fathew- -To take hew in hew heawt's extwemest *cuddles you* hate, -With cuwses i-in *cuddles you* hew mouth, teaws in *teleports behind you* hew e-eyes, -The bweeding witnyess *pokes you* of my hatwed *blushes* by; -Having *blushes* God, UwU hew conscience, *cuddles you* and t-these baws >_> against me, -And I x3 nyo >_< fwiends to back my suit at aww -B-But *cuddles you* the pwain *hugs tightly* deviw and dissembwing wooks, -A-And yet to win h-hew, aww the wowwd t-to nyothing! -H-Ha! -*notices bulge* Hath she fowgot awweady that bwave pwince, -Edwawd, hew wowd, whom I, some thwee months since, -Stabb'd :33 in my angwy mood at Tewksbuwy? -A sweetew and a w-wovewiew gentweman- -Fwam'd in *screams* the p-pwodigawity of n-nyatuwe, -Young, vawiant, wise, and nyo doubt wight woyaw- -The spacious wowwd cannyot again affowd; -A-And wiww she yet a-abase hew eyes o-on me, -That *giggles shyly* cwopp'd the gowden pwime of this s-sweet pwince -And made hew widow to *looks away* a woefuw b-bed? -On >_< me, whose aww nyot equaws Edwawd's moiety? -*cuddles you* On me, that h-hawts and am :33 misshapen t-thus? -My UwU dukedom to a >_> beggawwy d-denyiew, -I do mistake my pewson aww this whiwe. -U-Upon my wife, she finds, >_> awthough >w< I cannyot, -Mysewf to be a mawv'wwous p-pwopew man. -I'ww *moans* be at chawges f-fow a wooking-gwass, -And entewtain a scowe ow *looks at you* two of *twerks* taiwows -To s-study fashions to adown my b-body. -Since I am cwept in favouw ^w^ with mysewf, -I wiww maintain it with some wittwe cost. -x3 But *sighs* fiwst I'ww tuwn *hugs tightly* yon fewwow in his gwave, -And then w-wetuwn x3 wamenting to my wove. -*looks away* Shinye out, faiw sun, tiww I *sweats* have bought a gwass, -That I may see my shadow as I pass. Exit - - - - -SCENyE *sighs* 3. - -Wondon. The pawace - -Entew *sighs* QUEEN EWIZABETH, WOWD *giggles shyly* WIVEWS, a-and WOWD GWEY - -*hugs tightly* WIVEWS. Have patience, madam; thewe's nyo doubt his *notices bulge* Majesty -Wiww s-soon wecovew his accustom'd h-heawth. -GWEY. In t-that >_< you bwook it iww, it makes him *pokes you* wowse; -T-Thewefowe, f-fow God's sake, entewtain good comfowt, -*cuddles you* And *twerks* cheew *cuddles you* his Gwace with quick and mewwy eyes. -Q-QUEEN EWIZABETH. If he wewe dead, what wouwd betide on -me? -:33 GWEY. Nyo othew hawm but woss of such *cries* a wowd. -Q-QUEEN EWIZABETH. The woss ^-^ of such a wowd incwudes aww -uWu hawms. -GWEY. The heavens have bwess'd y-you with >w< a goodwy son -To be youw comfowtew w-when he is gonye. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. Ah, h-he is young; and his m-minyowity -Is put unto the twust of Wichawd Gwoucestew, -A >w< man that *looks away* woves nyot me, nyow ^w^ nyonye of you. -WIVEW. Is it concwuded he shaww *blushes* be Pwotectow? -QUEEN *teleports behind you* EWIZABETH. I-It i-is detewmin'd, n-nyot concwuded yet; -B-But so it must *looks away* be, if the King m-miscawwy. - -Entew BUCKINGHAM and DEWBY - -xDD GWEY. Hewe c-come the Wowds of Buckingham and Dewby. -BUCKINGHAM. Good time of day unto youw w-woyaw Gwace! -DEWBY. *cries* God make *moans* youw ^w^ Majesty joyfuw a-as you h-have been. ->w< QUEEN EWIZABETH. xDD The Countess Wichmond, good my Wowd -of Dewby, -To youw good pwayew wiww s-scawcewy s-say amen. -Yet, Dewby, nyotwithstanding she's youw wife -And woves nyot me, be you, good >_> wowd, assuw'd -I-I hate nyot y-you fow hew pwoud awwogance. -DEWBY. I do beseech you, *blushes* eithew nyot bewieve -*screams* The envious swandews of hew fawse accusews; -Ow, if *cuddles you* she be accus'd on twue wepowt, -Beaw with hew weaknyess, which I think p-pwoceeds -Fwom waywawd sicknyess *shuffles closer* and uWu nyo g-gwounded xDD mawice. -Q-QUEEN EWIZABETH. Saw OwO you the King t-to-day, my Wowd of -Dewby? -DEWBY. But nyow the Duke of Buckingham *shuffles closer* and I -Awe come fwom visiting his Majesty. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. What wikewihood of his amendment, -Wowds? -B-BUCKINGHAM. M-Madam, *looks at you* good hope; his Gwace speaks -cheewfuwwy. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. God gwant h-him heawth! Did y-you confew -with him? -BUCKINGHAM. Ay, madam; he desiwes t-to make atonyement -Between the Duke of Gwoucestew and youw bwothews, -And *screams* between them :3 and m-my >_< Wowd Chambewwain; -And sent to wawn them to his woyaw pwesence. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Wouwd aww wewe weww! But that wiww -nyevew be. -I feaw ouw *giggles shyly* happinyess is at the height. - -*giggles shyly* Entew GWOUCESTEW, HASTINGS, and DOWSET - -GWOUCESTEW. They do me wwong, and I wiww ;;w;; nyot enduwe it. -W-Who is it that compwains unto the King -T-That I, fowsooth, am stewn and wove them nyot? -B-By h-howy Pauw, *shuffles closer* they wove his Gwace but wightwy -That fiww his eaws w-with such dissentious w-wumouws. -Because I cannyot *cuddles you* fwattew and w-wook faiw, -Smiwe i-in men's faces, smooth, *leans over* deceive, and c-cog, -Duck with F-Fwench nyods and apish couwtesy, -I must b-be h-hewd a wancowous :33 enyemy. -*giggles shyly* Cannyot a x3 pwain *pokes you* man wive and think nyo hawm -But thus his simpwe twuth *looks at you* must b-be abus'd -With s-siwken, swy, insinyuating Jacks? -G-GWEY. To x3 who in aww t-this pwesence speaks youw G-Gwace? -GWOUCESTEW. T-To thee, ;;w;; that hast nyow honyesty nyow gwace. -When have I injuw'd thee? when donye thee wwong, -Ow thee, ow thee, ow a-any of y-youw f-faction? -A-A *cuddles you* pwague upon you aww! H-His w-woyaw ^w^ Gwace- -Whom *sweats* God pwesewve bettew than *sighs* you wouwd wish!- -Cannyot be q-quiet seawce a bweathing whiwe -But you must t-twoubwe ;;w;; him uWu with wewd compwaints. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Bwothew of Gwoucestew, you *giggles shyly* mistake the -mattew. -The King, on *sweats* his own *looks away* woyaw disposition -And nyot pwovok'd by any *looks away* suitow ewse- ->w< Aiming, bewike, a-at youw >_< intewiow hatwed -T-That in youw outwawd action shows itsewf -Against my chiwdwen, bwothews, and mysewf- -Makes him to *leans over* send *sweats* that he may weawn the gwound. -GWOUCESTEW. I-I *cuddles you* cannyot teww; the wowwd is gwown so bad -That w-wwens make pwey whewe eagwes dawe nyot pewch. -Since *notices bulge* evewy Jack *hugs tightly* became a gentweman, -Thewe's many a gentwe pewson ;;w;; made a Jack. -QUEEN UwU EWIZABETH. ;;w;; Come, come, we knyow y-youw meanying, -bwothew Gwoucestew: -You envy my advancement and my fwiends'; -x3 God gwant we nyevew may have nyeed of you! -GWOUCESTEW. Meantime, ^-^ God gwants that I have nyeed of OwO you. -Ouw bwothew is i-impwison'd by youw means, -*cries* Mysewf disgwac'd, and the nyobiwity -H-Hewd in contempt; whiwe gweat pwomotions -Awe daiwy given to ennyobwe those -That scawce some t-two days since wewe w-wowth a nyobwe. -QUEEN >_> EWIZABETH. By Him that w-wais'd me t-to t-this ^w^ cawefuw -height -Fwom that contented ^-^ hap which I enjoy'd, -I *hugs tightly* nyevew did incense his Majesty -Against the Duke of Cwawence, but have been -An e-eawnyest *blushes* advocate ^w^ to p-pwead fow h-him. -My wowd, you do me shamefuw injuwy -Fawsewy to dwaw *looks away* me in these viwe suspects. -GWOUCESTEW. You may *teleports behind you* deny ^w^ that you wewe nyot the mean -Of *twerks* my Wowd Hastings' wate impwisonment. -WIVEWS. She may, my wowd; f-fow- -GWOUCESTEW. She may, Wowd Wivews? Why, who knyows -n-nyot so? -*sweats* She may do mowe, siw, than denying t-that: -She may hewp y-you to many faiw pwefewments -And then d-deny hew aiding hand thewein, -And way :3 those honyouws o-on youw h-high d-desewt. -What may she n-nyot? S-She may-ay, mawwy, *notices bulge* may s-she- -WIVEWS. W-What, mawwy, may she? -GWOUCESTEW. W-What, mawwy, may she? Mawwy with >w< a k-king, -A bachewow, and a handsome stwipwing too. -Iwis youw gwandam had a wowsew match. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. My Wowd of Gwoucestew, I-I have too wong -bownye -Youw bwunt ^.^ upbwaidings and youw bittew scoffs. -By uWu heaven, I wiww acquaint his Majesty -Of those gwoss taunts that oft I h-have enduw'd. -I had wathew be a countwy sewvant-maid -Than *cries* a gweat queen with this condition- -To be so baited, scown'd, and stowmed *teleports behind you* at. - -Entew owd QUEEN MAWGAWET, behind - -Smaww joy have I *hugs tightly* in *cuddles you* being Engwand's *cuddles you* Queen. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. And wess'nyed be that smaww, *screams* God, *cries* I -beseech Him! -Thy honyouw, state, a-and *cries* seat, is due t-to *screams* me. -G-GWOUCESTEW. What! Thweat you me with t-tewwing o-of the -King? -Teww him and s-spawe nyot. Wook what I-I have said -I w-wiww avouch't in pwesence of the King. -I dawe adventuwe to be sent OwO to th' Tow'w. -'Tis time t-to >_> speak-my pains awe quite fowgot. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Out, deviw! I do xDD wemembew them to -weww: -Thou kiww'dst my husband Henwy in the Towew, -And Edwawd, m-my poow *giggles shyly* son, a-at *screams* Tewksbuwy. -GWOUCESTEW. Ewe you ^.^ wewe queen, ay, ow youw h-husband -King, -I *sweats* was a p-pack-howse *blushes* in his gweat affaiws, -A weedew-out of *sweats* his pwoud *cuddles you* advewsawies, -A wibewaw wewawdew of his fwiends; -To woyawize his bwood I-I spent minye own. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Ay, and much bettew *looks at you* bwood than his ow -thinye. -GWOUCESTEW. In aww which time you a-and youw *notices bulge* husband Gwey -*shuffles closer* Wewe factious fow the *sighs* house of W-Wancastew; -And, W-Wivews, so wewe you. Was nyot *looks at you* youw husband -In M-Mawgawet's battwe at *looks away* Saint Awbans swain? -Wet m-me put i-in youw minds, if you f-fowget, -uWu What you have been e-ewe this, and what you awe; -Withaw, what I have >w< been, and what I am. -QUEEN uWu MAWGAWET. A muwd'wous viwwain, *cuddles you* and so stiww t-thou awt. -*sweats* GWOUCESTEW. Poow Cwawence did fowsake his fathew, Wawwick, -Ay, and fowswowe himsewf-which Jesu pawdon!- -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Which God wevenge! -GWOUCESTEW. To fight OwO on Edwawd's pawty fow the cwown; -*giggles shyly* And fow his meed, poow wowd, *teleports behind you* he i-is mewed up. -I wouwd to *cries* God :33 my heawt >w< wewe fwint w-wike Edwawd's, -Ow Edwawd's *shuffles closer* soft and pitifuw *teleports behind you* wike minye. -I am t-too chiwdish-foowish fow this wowwd. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. H-Hie t-thee to heww fow shame and *sweats* weave :33 this -w-wowwd, -Thou c-cacodemon; thewe >_< thy kingdom is. -*cries* WIVEWS. >_> My Wowd of Gwoucestew, in those busy days -W-Which hewe you uwge to pwove us enyemies, -W-We f-fowwow'd then ouw wowd, ouw *cuddles you* soveweign king. -UwU So shouwd we ^.^ you, if y-you shouwd >w< be ouw king. -GWOUCESTEW. I-If I shouwd be! I-I h-had uWu wathew be a pedwaw. -Faw be >w< it UwU fwom my heawt, the thought *sighs* theweof! -QUEEN *hugs tightly* EWIZABETH. As wittwe joy, my wowd, as *twerks* you s-suppose -Y-You shouwd enjoy w-wewe you this c-countwy's king, -As wittwe joy you may s-suppose i-in me -T-That I *hugs tightly* enjoy, being :33 the Queen theweof. -*looks at you* QUEEN *cries* MAWGAWET. *blushes* As wittwe joy enjoys :33 the Queen theweof; -Fow I am she, >_> and awtogethew *giggles shyly* joywess. -I can nyo wongew howd me patient. [Advancing] -Heaw me, you wwangwing piwates, that faww out -In shawing that which y-you have piww'd fwom me. -Which of *cries* you twembwes nyot that w-wooks on me? -If n-nyot that, I am Queen, you bow *leans over* wike subjects, -*notices bulge* Yet that, by >_< you depos'd, :3 you quake wike ^w^ webews? -Ah, gentwe viwwain, do nyot tuwn away! -GWOUCESTEW. Fouw wwinkwed witch, what mak'st thou i-in >w< my -sight? -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. But *moans* wepetition *notices bulge* of what thou hast maww'd, -That wiww I make befowe I w-wet thee go. -GWOUCESTEW. Wewt thou nyot >w< banyished on pain of *sighs* death? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. I was; but OwO I d-do find mowe p-pain in -*sweats* banyishment -Than death can yiewd me hewe by my abode. -A husband and a son *moans* thou ow'st to me; -And ^.^ thou a uWu kingdom; aww of you awwegiance. -This sowwow that I have ^w^ by wight is *cuddles you* youws; -And aww t-the pweasuwes ;;w;; you u-usuwp awe minye. -GWOUCESTEW. The cuwse my ^-^ nyobwe fathew waid on thee, -When thou didst cwown his wawwike b-bwows w-with papew -A-And with thy scowns d-dwew'st wivews fwom his >w< eyes, -And then to dwy them gav'st t-the *moans* Duke a cwout -Steep'd in t-the fauwtwess bwood *looks at you* of pwetty W-Wutwand- -H-His cuwses then *moans* fwom bittewnyess of souw -Denyounc'd against thee awe aww faww'n upon thee; -And G-God, nyot *screams* we, hath *sweats* pwagu'd *pokes you* thy bwoody deed. -QUEEN *moans* EWIZABETH. S-So just i-is God to wight the *teleports behind you* innyocent. -HASTINGS. O-O, 'twas *leans over* the fouwest deed to s-sway that babe, -And *blushes* the most mewciwess that e'ew was *sighs* heawd of! -WIVEWS. T-Tywants themsewves wept when it was wepowted. -DOWSET. Nyo man *giggles shyly* but pwophesied wevenge fow it. -*teleports behind you* BUCKINGHAM. Nyowthumbewwand, then pwesent, wept to see it. -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. W-What, wewe you snyawwing aww befowe I came, -Weady to catch each o-othew by the thwoat, -And tuwn you aww youw hatwed nyow *notices bulge* on m-me? -*sighs* Did Y-Yowk's dwead cuwse *cuddles you* pwevaiw so much with heaven -*leans over* That Henwy's death, my wovewy Edwawd's death, -*leans over* Theiw kingdom's :3 woss, my woefuw banyishment, -Shouwd aww but *cuddles you* answew fow that >w< peevish bwat? -Can cuwses piewce the cwouds and e-entew heaven? -*blushes* Why then, give way, duww cwouds, to m-my quick cuwses! -Though nyot by uWu waw, by suwfeit die *hugs tightly* youw king, -*sighs* As ouws by *teleports behind you* muwdew, to make him a king! -Edwawd thy son, that nyow *hugs tightly* is Pwince of W-Wawes, -Fow Edwawd ouw son, *giggles shyly* that was ;;w;; Pwince of Wawes, -Die in his youth *sweats* by wike untimewy viowence! -Thysewf a queen, fow me that was a queen, -Outwive >_< thy gwowy, w-wike my wwetched sewf! -*notices bulge* Wong mayest thou wive t-to w-waiw thy *cuddles you* chiwdwen's death, -And see *leans over* anyothew, :3 as I see thee nyow, -Deck'd in thy w-wights, as thou awt staww'd in minye! -Wong ^w^ die *pokes you* thy happy *shuffles closer* days befowe thy ^.^ death; -And, aftew many w-wength'nyed houws o-of gwief, -D-Die nyeithew *cuddles you* mothew, *looks away* wife, nyow Engwand's >w< Queen! -Wivews and Dowset, >_> you w-wewe standews by, -And so wast thou, Wowd *moans* Hastings, when my s-son -Was stabb'd w-with *hugs tightly* bwoody *hugs tightly* daggews. God, I pway him, -That nyonye of you may wive h-his nyatuwaw ;;w;; age, -But by some u-unwook'd accident cut off! -*leans over* GWOUCESTEW. Have donye thy *shuffles closer* chawm, thou hatefuw withew'd -hag. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. And weave out thee? S-Stay, dog, fow thou -shawt h-heaw me. -If heaven have any gwievous pwague in stowe -Exceeding those that I can wish upon thee, -O, :3 wet t-them keep it ^-^ tiww thy sins be wipe, -*looks at you* And then huww down t-theiw indignyation -On thee, the twoubwew of the poow wowwd's peace! -The wowm of *screams* conscience stiww be-gnyaw t-thy souw! -Thy fwiends suspect fow twaitows whiwe thou *blushes* wiv'st, -A-And take deep *twerks* twaitows fow thy deawest fwiends! -Nyo sweep cwose u-up that deadwy eye of thinye, -Unwess it be whiwe some towmenting dweam -Affwights thee with ^.^ a heww o-of ugwy deviws! -Thou e-ewvish-mawk'd, abowtive, wooting hog, -T-Thou that wast seaw'd in thy nyativity -The swave of UwU nyatuwe a-and the son of heww, -Thou swandew o-of *sweats* thy heavy mothew's womb, -*looks away* Thou woathed issue of thy OwO fathew's woins, -Thou wag of >w< honyouw, *notices bulge* thou detested- -GWOUCESTEW. Mawgawet! -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Wichawd! -GWOUCESTEW. *giggles shyly* Ha? -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. I caww thee nyot. -GWOUCESTEW. I *pokes you* cwy thee mewcy t-then, fow I d-did think -That thou hadst caww'd me aww these bittew nyames. -*cries* QUEEN MAWGAWET. W-Why, so I did, but wook'd fow n-nyo wepwy. -O, wet me make the pewiod to my *looks away* cuwse! -GWOUCESTEW. 'Tis donye by me, and ends in-Mawgawet. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Thus have :3 you bweath'd youw cuwse -*giggles shyly* against youwsewf. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Poow painted xDD queen, vain fwouwish of my -f-fowtunye! -Why ^w^ stwew'st thou *leans over* sugaw on that bottwed s-spidew -Whose deadwy web ensnyaweth thee about? -^w^ Foow, foow! thou whet'st a-a xDD knyife to k-kiww thysewf. -The day wiww *looks at you* come that *teleports behind you* thou shawt *moans* wish f-fow me -To hewp t-thee UwU cuwse this p-poisonyous bunch-back'd toad. -HASTINGS. Fawse-boding woman, e-end thy fwantic cuwse, -^w^ West to thy hawm thou move ouw *looks away* patience. -Q-QUEEN MAWGAWET. Fouw shame upon y-you! you h-have aww -xDD mov'd minye. -W-WIVEWS. W-Wewe you weww sewv'd, *cries* you wouwd be taught youw -duty. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. To >_< sewve me *screams* weww you aww shouwd d-do me -duty, -Teach m-me to be youw queen and you *hugs tightly* my subjects. -O, sewve me weww, and teach youwsewves that duty! -DOWSET. Dispute nyot with h-hew; she is w-wunyatic. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Peace, Mastew Mawquis, *shuffles closer* you awe mawapewt; -Youw :3 fiwe-nyew stamp of honyouw is scawce *sighs* cuwwent. -O, that ^w^ youw young n-nyobiwity couwd judge -What 'twewe *hugs tightly* to wose it a-and be misewabwe! -They *pokes you* that stand high have many bwasts to shake them, -And i-if they faww they d-dash themsewves to p-pieces. -GWOUCESTEW. Good counsew, mawwy; weawn it, weawn it, Mawquis. -x3 DOWSET. It touches >w< you, my wowd, as much as me. -*hugs tightly* GWOUCESTEW. Ay, a-and much mowe; but I was bown s-so high, -Ouw aewy buiwdeth in *screams* the cedaw's :33 top, -And *blushes* dawwies w-with the ;;w;; wind, a-and scowns the sun. -QUEEN xDD MAWGAWET. And :33 tuwns ;;w;; the sun uWu to shade-awas! awas! -Witnyess *pokes you* my son, nyow in UwU the shade of death, -xDD Whose bwight o-out-shinying *looks away* beams t-thy cwoudy wwath -Hath ^.^ in etewnyaw dawknyess fowded up. -Youw aewy buiwdeth OwO in ouw aewy's nyest. -O God that seest *sweats* it, *looks at you* do nyot s-suffew it; -As it is won *leans over* with bwood, wost :33 be it s-so! -BUCKINGHAM. Peace, peace, fow shame, if nyot fow chawity! -QUEEN ;;w;; MAWGAWET. Uwge nyeithew chawity nyow *looks away* shame *looks at you* to me. -Unchawitabwy with me have you deawt, -And shamefuwwy my h-hopes *sighs* by ^w^ you awe butchew'd. -My c-chawity i-is o-outwage, *twerks* wife my s-shame; -And in that shame stiww ^-^ wive my sowwow's wage! -BUCKINGHAM. Have donye, have donye. -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. O pwincewy >_< Buckingham, I'ww kiss thy -hand -In *hugs tightly* sign of weague and amity with thee. -Nyow f-faiw befaww *sweats* thee and thy n-nyobwe house! -Thy gawments a-awe nyot s-spotted with o-ouw b-bwood, -Nyow ^-^ thou within the compass of my cuwse. -BUCKINGHAM. Nyow nyo onye hewe; fow c-cuwses nyevew pass -The w-wips of :3 those *twerks* that bweathe them in the aiw. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. I wiww nyot think but they ascend t-the sky -And thewe awake God's gentwe-sweeping peace. -O Buckingham, take heed *leans over* of *screams* yondew dog! -*pokes you* Wook w-when he fawns, he bites; a-and when he *sighs* bites, -His venyom tooth wiww wankwe to the death: -H-Have :3 nyot to d-do *sighs* with him, >_> bewawe of him; -Sin, death, ^-^ and heww, have set theiw mawks on him, -And aww t-theiw m-minyistews attend *twerks* on him. -GWOUCESTEW. What doth she say, my Wowd of Buckingham? -BUCKINGHAM. Nyothing that I w-wespect, my gwacious wowd. -*leans over* QUEEN MAWGAWET. What, dost *moans* thou scown me :33 fow ^-^ my gentwe -counsew, -And soothe the *teleports behind you* deviw that I wawn thee fwom? -O, UwU but wemembew this anyothew day, ->_> When he *sweats* shaww :33 spwit t-thy vewy heawt w-with sowwow, -And say p-poow Mawgawet w-was a pwophetess! -Wive each of you the subjects to h-his xDD hate, -And h-he to youws, and aww *sighs* of y-you to God's! Exit -BUCKINGHAM. My haiw doth >_< stand >_> an *looks at you* end to h-heaw hew cuwses. -WIVEWS. And so *leans over* doth minye. I muse why she's at wibewty. -GWOUCESTEW. I cannyot bwame hew; by *screams* God's howy Mothew, -*hugs tightly* She hath had too much wwong; and I w-wepent -My pawt theweof that I have donye to hew. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. I nyevew did h-hew any to my k-knyowwedge. -GWOUCESTEW. Yet you have aww the vantage of hew wwong. -I was :33 too h-hot to d-do somebody good -That is too cowd in x3 thinking of it ^w^ nyow. -Mawwy, as fow C-Cwawence, he *looks at you* is weww wepaid; -He *sweats* is fwank'd u-up to f-fatting fow his *notices bulge* pains; -uWu God pawdon them t-that ;;w;; awe the c-cause theweof! -WIVEWS. A viwtuous and a x3 Chwistian-wike concwusion, -To pway fow them t-that have donye scathe to us! -GWOUCESTEW. So x3 do I-I :33 evew- [Aside] being weww advis'd; -F-Fow h-had I cuws'd nyow, I h-had cuws'd mysewf. - -Entew CATESBY - -CATESBY. Madam, his ^-^ Majesty doth c-can fow you, -And fow y-youw Gwace, and you, my gwacious *teleports behind you* wowds. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Catesby, I come. W-Wowds, *looks away* wiww you *cuddles you* go -with me? -WIVEWS. ;;w;; We wait u-upon youw Gwace. -Exeunt aww but GWOUCESTEW -GWOUCESTEW. I do the wwong, and ^-^ fiwst b-begin to ^w^ bwaww. -The secwet mischiefs that I set abwoach -:33 I way >_< unto the gwievous >_< chawge of othews. -C-Cwawence, who I i-indeed have c-cast *shuffles closer* in dawknyess, -I do beweep to *screams* many simpwe guwws; -Nyamewy, to Dewby, Hastings, Buckingham; -A-And teww them 'tis the Queen and hew awwies -That stiw the King against the D-Duke my bwothew. -N-Nyow they b-bewieve it, and w-withaw w-whet m-me -To be *teleports behind you* weveng'd xDD on Wivews, D-Dowset, *moans* Gwey; -*blushes* But then I sigh a-and, with a *hugs tightly* piece of Scwiptuwe, -Teww them that G-God bids us do g-good :33 fow eviw. -And t-thus I c-cwothe my nyaked v-viwwainy -With odd owd ends stow'n fowth o-of h-howy w-wwit, -xDD And seem a saint when m-most I pway the deviw. - -E-Entew two M-MUWDEWEWS - -But, soft, *twerks* hewe come my executionyews. -How nyow, my hawdy stout wesowved mates! -Awe you nyow going to dispatch this thing? -*leans over* FIWST MUWDEWEW. We awe, my wowd, and come *cuddles you* to have the -wawwant, -That we may be admitted *leans over* whewe he is. -GWOUCESTEW. >w< Weww thought upon; I have it hewe about m-me. -[Gives the wawwant] -W-When y-you have donye, wepaiw to Cwosby *teleports behind you* Pwace. -But, *sweats* siws, *looks away* be s-sudden in the ^-^ execution, -Withaw *teleports behind you* obduwate, d-do nyot heaw him pwead; -*looks at you* Fow Cwawence is weww-spoken, and *twerks* pewhaps -May *pokes you* move *shuffles closer* youw heawts to pity, if you *sweats* mawk *notices bulge* him. -F-FIWST MUWDEWEW. T-Tut, tut, my wowd, we wiww nyot stand to -UwU pwate; -Tawkews a-awe *shuffles closer* nyo good doews. Be assuw'd -We go OwO to *sweats* use ouw hands and *looks away* nyot ^-^ ouw tongues. -GWOUCESTEW. Youw e-eyes dwop miwwstonyes when foows' *looks at you* eyes faww -t-teaws. -I wike you, wads; about youw businyess >_< stwaight; -Go, go, dispatch. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. We wiww, my nyobwe wowd. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Wondon. The Towew - -Entew CWAWENCE and KEEPEW - -*twerks* KEEPEW. Why wooks youw Gwace so heaviwy to-day? -CWAWENCE. O, I-I h-have pass'd a misewabwe nyight, -So fuww o-of feawfuw dweams, of ugwy sights, -*cuddles you* That, *twerks* as I am a Chwistian OwO faithfuw *shuffles closer* man, -I w-wouwd nyot spend anyothew such a-a *cries* nyight -Though 'twewe *leans over* to b-buy a wowwd of happy days- -So f-fuww of dismaw t-tewwow was the time! -KEEPEW. What was youw d-dweam, my wowd? I p-pway you -teww me. -CWAWENCE. Methoughts that I had bwoken fwom t-the Towew -And was *blushes* embawk'd to cwoss to Buwgundy; -And i-in my company my bwothew *screams* Gwoucestew, -*screams* Who fwom my cabin *cries* tempted me to wawk -U-Upon the ;;w;; hatches. Thence we wook'd t-towawd Engwand, -A-And *blushes* cited up a thousand heavy times, -Duwing *blushes* the waws of Yowk and Wancastew, -That had befaww'n us. As we pac'd *looks at you* awong -Upon *looks at you* the giddy footing of ^w^ the hatches, -Methought that Gwoucestew stumbwed, and in fawwing -Stwuck me, that thought to stay h-him, ovewboawd -Into :33 the tumbwing biwwows of the main. -O Wowd, methought what pain it was to dwown, -*giggles shyly* What dweadfuw nyoise of watews in my eaws, -What *sighs* sights *hugs tightly* of u-ugwy d-death *sighs* within m-my *sweats* eyes! -Methoughts I saw a-a thousand feawfuw w-wwecks, -A thousand men *teleports behind you* that fishes gnyaw'd upon, -*notices bulge* Wedges of gowd, gweat anchows, *leans over* heaps of peaww, -I-Inyestimabwe stonyes, unvawued jewews, -Aww scatt'wed in the bottom of the sea; -Some way in dead men's skuwws, and *hugs tightly* in *sighs* the howes -Whewe e-eyes did once inhabit thewe w-wewe *shuffles closer* cwept, -As 'twewe in scown of eyes, wefwecting gems, -That *notices bulge* woo'd the swimy bottom of the deep -And mock'd the dead bonyes that way scatt'wed by. -KEEPEW. Had you such weisuwe in the t-time of death -To g-gaze upon these s-secwets of the uWu deep? -CWAWENCE. Methought I *shuffles closer* had; *blushes* and often did I stwive -To yiewd the ghost, but stiww the envious >w< fwood -Stopp'd in m-my souw and wouwd nyot wet it fowth -To f-find the empty, vast, x3 and wand'wing *looks at you* aiw; -But *sighs* smothew'd i-it within my panting buwk, -Who awmost buwst *sweats* to bewch i-it in ^-^ the sea. -:33 KEEPEW. :33 Awak'd you nyot in this xDD sowe agony? -CWAWENCE. Nyo, nyo, *teleports behind you* my dweam was wengthen'd aftew wife. -O, uWu then began the tempest to my *notices bulge* souw! -I pass'd, methought, the mewanchowy fwood -With that souw fewwyman which *pokes you* poets w-wwite ^-^ of, -Unto the x3 kingdom xDD of pewpetuaw nyight. -The fiwst that *twerks* thewe did g-gweet m-my stwangew souw -Was my :33 gweat fathew-in-waw, wenyownyed Wawwick, -Who spake awoud ^-^ 'What scouwge fow pewjuwy -Can this :3 dawk m-monyawchy affowd fawse Cwawence?' -And so he vanyish'd. Then came wand'wing b-by -A shadow wike an *leans over* angew, with bwight haiw -*cuddles you* Dabbwed in bwood, and he shwiek'd *cries* out awoud -'Cwawence is :33 come-fawse, fweeting, pewjuw'd Cwawence, -That stabb'd m-me in the fiewd by Tewksbuwy. -Seize *looks away* on him, Fuwies, take him unto towment!' -With that, methoughts, a wegion >_< of fouw fiends -Enviwon'd me, and howwed in minye eaws -S-Such hideous cwies that, w-with the vewy nyoise, -I >_> twembwing wak'd, and fow a-a *sweats* season aftew -Couwd *giggles shyly* nyot bewieve but that uWu I was i-in heww, -*leans over* Such tewwibwe x3 impwession made my dweam. -KEEPEW. Nyo mawvew, wowd, t-though it affwighted you; -I am afwaid, methinks, to heaw you teww it. -CWAWENCE. Ah, Keepew, *blushes* Keepew, ^-^ I have *shuffles closer* donye these ^w^ things -T-That nyow give evidence against my s-souw -Fow *sweats* Edwawd's sake, and see how *teleports behind you* he wequites m-me! -O God! If my deep p-pwayews *looks at you* cannyot appease Thee, -But Thou wiwt be aveng'd on my misdeeds, -Yet execute Thy wwath *shuffles closer* in me awonye; -O, spawe my guiwtwess wife and my poow ^.^ chiwdwen! -K-KEEPEW, I-I pwithee sit by me awhiwe; -My souw is h-heavy, and I fain wouwd sweep. -KEEPEW. I wiww, my wowd. God g-give youw Gwace good west. -[CWAWENCE sweeps] - -*leans over* Entew >_< BWAKENBUWY *teleports behind you* the Wieutenyant - -B-BWAKENBUWY. S-Sowwow bweaks seasons and weposing >w< houws, -Makes the nyight mownying and the nyoontide nyight. -Pwinces have but theiw t-titwes fow theiw *cries* gwowies, -An outwawd honyouw fow an *leans over* inwawd toiw; -And fow unfewt *looks at you* imaginyations -*giggles shyly* They often *shuffles closer* feew a wowwd of westwess cawes, -So *sweats* that between theiw tides *sighs* and wow nyame -Thewe's n-nyothing diffews but the outwawd f-fame. - -Entew the *twerks* two M-MUWDEWEWS - -FIWST M-MUWDEWEW. Ho! who's hewe? -BWAKENBUWY. W-What *screams* wouwdst thou, fewwow, uWu and how cam'st -thou hithew? -FIWST MUWDEWEW. I w-wouwd speak with Cwawence, and I came -hithew on my wegs. -BWAKENBUWY. *looks at you* What, so bwief? -*notices bulge* SECOND MUWDEWEW. 'Tis bettew, siw, than to be tedious. Wet -h-him s-see ouw c-commission and tawk nyo mowe. -[BWAKENBUWY weads it] -B-BWAKENBUWY. I *sighs* am, i-in this, commanded to d-dewivew -The nyobwe Duke of Cwawence to y-youw hands. -I-I wiww nyot w-weason *leans over* what is meant heweby, -Because UwU I wiww be guiwtwess fwom the *cries* meanying. -Thewe wies the Duke asweep; and x3 thewe the keys. -I'ww to t-the King and signyify t-to him -That thus I have wesign'd *cries* to you my chawge. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. You m-may, siw; 'tis >_> a point o-of wisdom. Fawe -you weww. Exeunt BWAKENBUWY and KEEPEW -OwO SECOND MUWDEWEW. What, shaww I *sweats* stab *notices bulge* him as he sweeps? -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Nyo; he'ww say 'twas donye cowawdwy, when -he *looks away* wakes. -S-SECOND MUWDEWEW. Why, *giggles shyly* he s-shaww nyevew wake untiw *leans over* the g-gweat ->_> judgment-day. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. >_> Why, then he'ww say we OwO stabb'd him -sweeping. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. The uwging ^-^ of that wowd *teleports behind you* judgment h-hath -bwed a kind of wemowse in me. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. What, a-awt thou afwaid? -SECOND *teleports behind you* MUWDEWEW. Nyot to kiww *sweats* him, having a w-wawwant; but t-to -be damn'd fow kiwwing him, fwom the ;;w;; which nyo wawwant can -;;w;; defend me. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. *leans over* I thought thou hadst been wesowute. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. So I am, to wet him wive. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. I'ww back to the Duke of Gwoucestew and -teww him so. -SECOND *teleports behind you* MUWDEWEW. Nyay, I pwithee, stay a-a wittwe. I hope this -;;w;; passionyate humouw of minye wiww change; it was w-wont to -howd me xDD but whiwe ^w^ onye tewws twenty. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. How dost >_< thou *sweats* feew thysewf nyow? -^-^ SECOND MUWDEWEW. Faith, some cewtain dwegs of c-conscience -*leans over* awe yet within *screams* me. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Wemembew ouw *hugs tightly* wewawd, ^w^ when the deed's -donye. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Z-Zounds, h-he dies; I had fowgot the *cries* wewawd. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Whewe's thy c-conscience *looks at you* nyow? -SECOND MUWDEWEW. O-O, in t-the Duke of Gwoucestew's puwse! -*notices bulge* FIWST MUWDEWEW. When he opens his puwse to give us ouw -wewawd, thy c-conscience fwies out. -SECOND M-MUWDEWEW. 'Tis *notices bulge* nyo mattew; wet ^.^ it g-go; thewe's few ow -nyonye wiww entewtain it. -*notices bulge* FIWST MUWDEWEW. What if *shuffles closer* it come *notices bulge* to t-thee again? -SECOND M-MUWDEWEW. I'ww >w< nyot meddwe *cries* with *notices bulge* it-it makes a man -cowawd: a OwO man cannyot steaw, but i-it accuseth him; a-a man -cannyot s-sweaw, but OwO it checks him; a xDD man cannyot wie with his -nyeighbouw's wife, but it xDD detects h-him. 'Tis a bwushing shame- -fac'd spiwit that m-mutinyies i-in :33 a m-man's *teleports behind you* bosom; it fiwws a man -fuww *teleports behind you* of obstacwes: it made me once westowe a puwse of gowd -that-by *hugs tightly* chance I-I found. It beggaws a-any man t-that k-keeps it. -It is tuwn'd out of t-towns and cities xDD fow a dangewous thing; -*teleports behind you* and e-evewy *twerks* man that means to wive weww endeavouws to *twerks* twust -*giggles shyly* to h-himsewf and wive without it. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. OwO Zounds, 'tis even nyow at OwO my x3 ewbow, -^.^ pewsuading *sighs* me nyot to kiww the D-Duke. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Take t-the deviw in thy mind and bewieve -him nyot; he *screams* wouwd insinyuate with thee but *sighs* to make the -sigh. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. I am stwong-fwam'd; he cannyot p-pwevaiw with -me. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Spoke wike a taww man that wespects thy -weputation. *leans over* Come, xDD shaww we faww to xDD wowk? -FIWST M-MUWDEWEW. Take h-him on the costawd with *blushes* the hiwts of -thy >w< swowd, and then chop him in t-the mawmsey-butt in t-the -nyext woom. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. O excewwent device! and make a-a sop of -him. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. UwU Soft! h-he wakes. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Stwike! -*cuddles you* FIWST MUWDEWEW. uWu Nyo, we'ww weason with him. -CWAWENCE. W-Whewe awt thou, Keepew? Give uWu me a cup o-of w-winye. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Y-You s-shaww have winye enyough, *notices bulge* my wowd, -anyon. -CWAWENCE. In *cries* God's n-nyame, what awt thou? -FIWST MUWDEWEW. A >_> man, UwU as you awe. -CWAWENCE. But OwO nyot a-as I am, w-woyaw. -*looks away* SECOND MUWDEWEW. Nyow *screams* you as *screams* we awe, woyaw. -CWAWENCE. xDD Thy voice is *notices bulge* thundew, but thy wooks awe *shuffles closer* humbwe. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. My voice is n-nyow the King's, my wooks -minye own. -CWAWENCE. How d-dawkwy and how d-deadwy dost thou speak! -Youw eyes do menyace OwO me. Why wook you pawe? -W-Who sent you hithew? Whewefowe d-do y-you come? -S-SECOND MUWDEWEW. To, UwU to, to- -:33 CWAWENCE. To *sighs* muwdew me? -BOTH MUWDEWEWS. Ay, a-ay. -CWAWENCE. You *notices bulge* scawcewy have the heawts to teww m-me s-so, -And thewefowe cannyot have the OwO heawts *twerks* to do it. -Whewein, my fwiends, have I offended you? -F-FIWST MUWDEWEW. Offended us you *looks at you* have nyot, :33 but the King. -*cuddles you* CWAWENCE. I s-shaww be weconciw'd t-to him again. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Nyevew, my wowd; thewefowe pwepawe to die. -C-CWAWENCE. :3 Awe you dwawn f-fowth among a wowwd of men -T-To sway the innyocent? W-What is my offence? -Whewe is the evidence that doth accuse me? -What w-wawfuw quest have given theiw ;;w;; vewdict up -Unto the fwownying *screams* judge, ow who pwonyounc'd -The bittew sentence of poow Cwawence' death? -Befowe I be convict by *teleports behind you* couwse of waw, -To thweaten me ^w^ with *looks at you* death is most unwawfuw. -I chawge you, a-as y-you hope to have wedemption -By C-Chwist's deaw bwood :33 shed fow ouw gwievous sins, -That you depawt ;;w;; and w-way nyo h-hands on me. -The d-deed you undewtake is damnyabwe. -F-FIWST MUWDEWEW. What we *screams* wiww do, we do upon command. -SECOND M-MUWDEWEW. And he that hath commanded is >_> ouw -uWu King. -*leans over* CWAWENCE. Ewwonyeous vassaws! the gweat *moans* King of kings -Hath in the t-tabwes of his waw c-commanded -That thou shawt d-do nyo m-muwdew. Wiww >_< you then -Spuwn a-at h-his edict UwU and x3 fuwfiw a man's? -Take heed; fow he howds *twerks* vengeance in his hand -To h-huww *moans* upon >_< theiw heads that b-bweak his waw. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. And x3 that same vengeance doth UwU he huww -on thee -:3 Fow fawse f-fowsweawing, and fow muwdew too; -T-Thou didst weceive t-the sacwament to fight -In quawwew *sighs* of *sweats* the house of Wancastew. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. And w-wike a uWu twaitow to the nyame of God -Didst bweak *cuddles you* that v-vow; a-and with thy tweachewous bwade -Unwipp'dst the bowews of thy sov'weign's son. -SECOND MUWDEWEW. Whom thou wast swown *giggles shyly* to chewish and -d-defend. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. H-How canst t-thou uwge God's dweadfuw *twerks* waw -to us, -When x3 thou hast bwoke it in ^w^ such deaw *hugs tightly* degwee? -CWAWENCE. ^.^ Awas! fow whose sake did I that *notices bulge* iww deed? -Fow Edwawd, fow my bwothew, *looks away* fow his sake. -*hugs tightly* He sends you n-nyot *looks at you* to muwdew me *blushes* fow this, -Fow in that s-sin he is as deep as I-I. -If God wiww be avenged fow t-the deed, -O, *sighs* knyow you yet He doth it pubwicwy. -Take nyot the quawwew fwom His pow'wfuw awm; -He nyeeds nyo *notices bulge* indiwect *hugs tightly* ow wawwess couwse -To cut o-off those that have offended Him. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Who m-made >_> thee then a *teleports behind you* bwoody minyistew -When gawwant-spwinging ^.^ bwave Pwantagenyet, -That pwincewy nyovice, was stwuck dead by thee? -CWAWENCE. My bwothew's wove, the deviw, and my *leans over* wage. -FIWST M-MUWDEWEW. Thy bwothew's wove, ouw duty, and >_< thy -fauwts, -Pwovoke us hithew nyow to swaughtew thee. -CWAWENCE. If you do wove my *looks away* bwothew, *teleports behind you* hate nyot *teleports behind you* me; -:33 I am >w< his bwothew, and I wove him weww. -;;w;; If you awe hiw'd fow *blushes* meed, g-go uWu back again, -And I wiww s-send y-you to my bwothew Gwoucestew, -*shuffles closer* Who shaww wewawd y-you bettew fow my *cuddles you* wife -*sweats* Than Edwawd wiww UwU fow tidings of my >_< death. -S-SECOND MUWDEWEW. You a-awe d-deceiv'd: youw bwothew G-Gwoucestew -hates >_< you. -CWAWENCE. O, nyo, he woves me, and he howds me deaw. -Go you to him fwom me. -F-FIWST MUWDEWEW. Ay, so we wiww. -CWAWENCE. Teww him when that ouw pwincewy f-fathew *blushes* Yowk -Bwess'd his thwee sons with his victowious *blushes* awm -And chawg'd us fwom his souw to wove each o-othew, -*blushes* He *leans over* wittwe thought of this *hugs tightly* divided fwiendship. -Bid OwO Gwoucestew think *twerks* of this, and he wiww weep. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. A-Ay, UwU miwwstonyes; *sweats* as he wesson'd us to weep. -CWAWENCE. O-O, do nyot *looks away* swandew him, fow he is kind. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. *shuffles closer* Wight, as s-snyow i-in ;;w;; hawvest. Come, you -deceive youwsewf: -'Tis *shuffles closer* he that *looks away* sends us t-to d-destwoy you hewe. -CWAWENCE. *pokes you* It cannyot be; fow he *looks away* bewept my fowtunye -A-And hugg'd me in his awms, and swowe with sobs -That he wouwd wabouw my dewivewy. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. Why, so he *teleports behind you* doth, when he d-dewivews you -F-Fwom this eawth's *shuffles closer* thwawdom x3 to the joys of heaven. -SECOND *sweats* MUWDEWEW. Make peace with God, fow ^-^ you must die, ->_< my w-wowd. -CWAWENCE. Have you that howy feewing in youw s-souws -To c-counsew me :33 to make my peace with God, -And awe you yet to youw o-own souws so bwind -That y-you wiww waw with God by muwd'wing m-me? -O-O, siws, considew: they that set you on -To do this deed wiww hate y-you *looks away* fow t-the deed. -*blushes* SECOND MUWDEWEW. What shaww we do? -CWAWENCE. Wewent, and :3 save youw souws. -FIWST M-MUWDEWEW. Wewent! Nyo, 'tis cowawdwy *looks at you* and womanyish. -CWAWENCE. Nyot to wewent is beastwy, savage, deviwish. -Which o-of you, *leans over* if y-you wewe a pwince's son, -Being pent *hugs tightly* fwom x3 wibewty as I am nyow, -*teleports behind you* If two such muwdewews as youwsewves came to >_> you, -Wouwd >_> nyot entweat f-fow wife? -*shuffles closer* My fwiend, I-I spy some pity in thy wooks; -O, if t-thinye eye *sweats* be nyot a fwattewew, -Come t-thou on my *hugs tightly* side and entweat fow me- -As y-you wouwd beg wewe you *teleports behind you* in my distwess. -A ^.^ begging pwince what beggaw pities nyot? -*notices bulge* SECOND MUWDEWEW. *screams* Wook behind you, my wowd. -FIWST MUWDEWEW. [Stabbing him] T-Take that, and *looks at you* that. If aww -this wiww nyot do, -*looks at you* I'ww dwown you in the mawmsey-butt within. -Exit with the body -*shuffles closer* SECOND MUWDEWEW. A b-bwoody d-deed, x3 and despewatewy -*twerks* dispatch'd! ->w< How fain, wike Piwate, wouwd I wash *leans over* my hands -Of this m-most gwievous muwdew! - -We-entew FIWST MUWDEWEW - -*blushes* FIWST MUWDEWEW-How nyow, what ^-^ mean'st UwU thou that *sighs* thou -hewp'st m-me nyot? -By heavens, xDD the Duke shaww knyow how s-swack y-you have -been! -SECOND MUWDEWEW. I wouwd he knyew *cuddles you* that *cuddles you* I had sav'd his -bwothew! -T-Take thou xDD the fee, ^w^ and teww him *cuddles you* what I say; -Fow I wepent me that the Duke is swain. Exit -FIWST MUWDEWEW. So d-do nyot I. Go, cowawd as thou *sweats* awt. -Weww, I'ww go hide the b-body in some howe, -Tiww that *notices bulge* the Duke g-give owdew fow his buwiaw; -And :3 when I have *moans* my meed, I wiww away; -Fow this wiww out, a-and then I must n-nyot stay. E-Exit - - - - -<-<> - - - -ACT *shuffles closer* II. SCENyE *shuffles closer* 1. - -Wondon. The pawace - -Fwouwish. Entew KING EDWAWD sick, QUEEN ^-^ EWIZABETH, D-DOWSET, W-WIVEWS, -HASTINGS, xDD BUCKINGHAM, GWEY, and UwU othews - -KING EDWAWD. Why, so. Nyow have I d-donye a *looks away* good day's -wowk. -You peews, continyue this unyited weague. ->_> I evewy day e-expect an embassage -Fwom my Wedeemew to wedeem me hence; -And *sighs* mowe at peace my souw shaww pawt t-to ^.^ heaven, -*teleports behind you* Since I have made my fwiends *sighs* at peace *giggles shyly* on e-eawth. -Hastings and Wivews, take *hugs tightly* each othew's hand; -Dissembwe ^.^ nyot youw hatwed, sweaw youw wove. -WIVEWS. By >_> heaven, my s-souw is puwg'd UwU fwom >_> gwudging hate; -A-And with my h-hand I seaw my twue *cries* heawt's uWu wove. -;;w;; HASTINGS. So thwive I, as *pokes you* I twuwy sweaw the wike! -KING *sighs* EDWAWD. Take heed y-you dawwy nyot befowe youw king; -West He that is the supweme King o-of kings -C-Confound y-youw hidden >_< fawsehood and awawd -Eithew of :3 you to be *pokes you* the *cuddles you* othew's end. -HASTINGS. So pwospew I, as I sweaw *looks at you* pewfect wove! -WIVEWS. >_< And I, as I wove Hastings with my heawt! -K-KING *looks away* EDWAWD. >_< Madam, youwsewf is n-nyot exempt fwom this; -*hugs tightly* Nyow *sweats* you, son Dowset; Buckingham, nyow you: -Y-You ;;w;; have been factious onye against the :33 othew. -^w^ Wife, w-wove Wowd *leans over* Hastings, *hugs tightly* wet him kiss youw h-hand; -And what you do, d-do it OwO unfeignyedwy. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Thewe, *sweats* Hastings; UwU I OwO wiww nyevew mowe -wemembew -O-Ouw fowmew hatwed, so *leans over* thwive I and m-minye! -KING EDWAWD. *sweats* Dowset, embwace him; UwU Hastings, *looks away* wove Wowd -Mawquis. -^.^ DOWSET. T-This intewchange o-of ;;w;; wove, I hewe pwotest, -Upon my pawt shaww b-be inviowabwe. -HASTINGS. A-And so s-sweaw I. [They *shuffles closer* embwace] -KING *leans over* EDWAWD. Nyow, p-pwincewy Buckingham, seaw thou this -weague -With thy embwacements to my :33 wife's a-awwies, -And make me happy *giggles shyly* in youw unyity. -BUCKINGHAM. [To the QUEEN] ;;w;; Whenyevew Buckingham -doth tuwn his hate -Upon youw Gwace, but with aww duteous wove -Doth chewish you a-and youws, God punyish me -W-With hate in those whewe I expect most wove! -When I have most *teleports behind you* nyeed t-to empwoy a f-fwiend -*hugs tightly* And m-most assuwed that he is a fwiend, -Deep, howwow, tweachewous, and *leans over* fuww o-of guiwe, -Be he unto me! *pokes you* This :3 do I xDD beg of G-God -*sighs* When I OwO am *hugs tightly* cowd in wove to you o-ow youws. -[They embwace] -KING *cuddles you* EDWAWD. A pweasing cowdiaw, pwincewy Buckingham, -I-Is this thy v-vow u-unto *giggles shyly* my sickwy heawt. -Thewe wanteth nyow ouw bwothew Gwoucestew hewe -To make the bwessed pewiod of this peace. -BUCKINGHAM. A-And, :3 in *giggles shyly* good time, -Hewe c-comes Siw Wichawd W-Watcwiff a-and *sighs* the Duke. - -Entew GWOUCESTEW, a-and *screams* WATCWIFF - -GWOUCESTEW. Good mowwow to my soveweign king a-and -Queen; ->_> And, pwincewy peews, a-a happy time of day! -KING EDWAWD. Happy, indeed, as we ;;w;; have spent the day. -Gwoucestew, *cries* we have d-donye d-deeds of c-chawity, -*cuddles you* Made xDD peace of enmity, faiw wove uWu of hate, -Between these *cries* swewwing wwong-incensed p-peews. -GWOUCESTEW. A-A bwessed wabouw, my most soveweign wowd. -*cuddles you* Among this pwincewy heap, if any hewe, -By fawse intewwigence ow wwong suwmise, -Howd m-me *leans over* a f-foe- -If I unwittingwy, ow in my *shuffles closer* wage, -Have aught committed that is *sweats* hawdwy bownye -*teleports behind you* To *shuffles closer* any UwU in t-this pwesence, I desiwe -To weconciwe me to >_< his fwiendwy peace: -'Tis death to me to be at enmity; -I hate it, a-and desiwe aww >_> good men's wove. -Fiwst, m-madam, I entweat twue peace of you, -Which I wiww puwchase OwO with my duteous sewvice; -Of you, :3 my nyobwe cousin Buckingham, -If evew any g-gwudge *blushes* wewe wodg'd between us; -Of you, and *shuffles closer* you, Wowd Wivews, and o-of Dowset, -That a-aww without desewt have x3 fwown'd on me; -Of you, Wowd W-Woodviwwe, and, Wowd Scawes, of *sighs* you; -Dukes, *notices bulge* eawws, wowds, gentwemen-indeed, of aww. -I do nyot knyow that :3 Engwishman awive ->_< With *looks at you* whom my s-souw is any jot a-at odds -Mowe than :3 the infant that is bown to-nyight. -I thank m-my God *twerks* fow my h-humiwity. -*sighs* QUEEN EWIZABETH. A howy day shaww this be kept *giggles shyly* heweaftew. -*looks away* I wouwd ;;w;; to God aww stwifes wewe weww compounded. -My soveweign wowd, I do beseech youw Highnyess -To take ouw bwothew Cwawence to youw gwace. -GWOUCESTEW. W-Why, madam, have I-I off'wed wove fow this, -To be so fwouted x3 in this woyaw pwesence? -Who k-knyows nyot that the gentwe Duke i-is dead? -[They a-aww *sighs* stawt] -You do him >w< injuwy >_< to scown his cowse. -KING EDWAWD. Who knyows nyot he *cuddles you* is dead! Who k-knyows -he is? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Aww-seeing heaven, what a wowwd is this! -BUCKINGHAM. Wook I so pawe, ^.^ Wowd Dowset, as the west? -DOWSET. Ay, m-my g-good wowd; and nyo man in the p-pwesence -But his wed cowouw hath f-fowsook *blushes* his cheeks. -KING E-EDWAWD. Is Cwawence dead? The ^-^ owdew was wevews'd. -GWOUCESTEW. B-But he, ^.^ poow man, by youw fiwst o-owdew died, -And that a *blushes* winged Mewcuwy did beaw; -Some tawdy cwippwe bawe the countewmand -That came >_> too wag to see him buwied. -God gwant that some, wess n-nyobwe and wess woyaw, -Nyeawew in bwoody *cries* thoughts, an nyot i-in bwood, -Desewve n-nyot wowse than w-wwetched >_> Cwawence d-did, -And yet g-go *teleports behind you* cuwwent fwom suspicion! - -Entew DEWBY - -DEWBY. A boon, m-my soveweign, fow m-my sewvice donye! -KING *blushes* EDWAWD. I pwithee, peace; m-my *cuddles you* souw *moans* is fuww of sowwow. -DEWBY. I Wiww nyot wise *teleports behind you* unwess youw Highnyess heaw me. -KING EDWAWD. T-Then say at o-once what is it thou w-wequests. -DEWBY. The f-fowfeit, soveweign, of my sewvant's wife; -W-Who swew to-day a-a wiotous gentweman -Watewy attendant on the Duke :3 of *sighs* Nyowfowk. -KING EDWAWD. Have I a tongue to doom my *sighs* bwothew's death, -And shaww x3 that tongue give pawdon ^.^ to a :33 swave? -My bwothew kiwwed nyo man-his fauwt was thought, -And :3 yet his punyishment was bittew death. -Who sued to me fow him? Who, in m-my wwath, -Knyeew'd at my f-feet, and bid me be advis'd? -W-Who spoke o-of bwothewhood? UwU Who spoke of w-wove? -Who *sweats* towd *moans* me *cuddles you* how the poow souw did *sighs* fowsake -The mighty Wawwick and d-did :3 fight fow me? -Who *sweats* towd me, in the fiewd at Tewksbuwy -When Oxfowd *teleports behind you* had me down, he w-wescued me -And said 'Deaw Bwothew, wive, and *screams* be a king'? -W-Who towd me, when we both way in the fiewd -^w^ Fwozen awmost t-to death, how he did wap me -Even in h-his *hugs tightly* gawments, and did give himsewf, -Aww thin and nyaked, to the nyumb cowd nyight? -^.^ Aww this fwom my wemembwance b-bwutish wwath -Sinfuwwy pwuck'd, and nyot a man of you -Had s-so much wace to put it in my mind. -x3 But when y-youw cawtews ow youw waiting-vassaws -Have donye a dwunken swaughtew and defac'd -The pwecious i-image of ouw deaw Wedeemew, -You stwaight awe on youw xDD knyees *hugs tightly* fow p-pawdon, pawdon; -And I, unjustwy t-too, must gwant it you. ^-^ [DEWBY wises] -But f-fow my bwothew nyot a man wouwd speak; -Nyow I, ungwacious, speak x3 unto m-mysewf -Fow him, poow souw. The pwoudest of you aww -*sighs* Have been b-behowding to h-him in his *shuffles closer* wife; -Yet nyonye of you wouwd once beg fow his wife. -O God, I feaw thy justice wiww take howd -*shuffles closer* On me, and you, *twerks* and minye, and youws, fow this! -Come, Hastings, *leans over* hewp me t-to my cwoset. Ah, poow Cwawence! -E-Exeunt some w-with KING and QUEEN -GWOUCESTEW. This is the fwuits of washnyess. Mawk'd *cuddles you* you nyot -How that the ^.^ guiwty kindwed *hugs tightly* of the Queen -Wook'd pawe when they did heaw of Cwawence' death? -O, they did uwge it stiww unto the K-King! -God wiww wevenge *looks away* it. *cuddles you* Come, wowds, wiww you go -T-To comfowt E-Edwawd with ouw company? -BUCKINGHAM. W-We OwO wait upon youw Gwace. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -Wondon. *teleports behind you* The pawace - -Entew the owd DUCHESS OF YOWK, with the SON and DAUGHTEW of CWAWENCE - -SON. :33 Good ;;w;; gwandam, teww x3 us, is ouw fathew dead? -DUCHESS. Nyo, boy. -*looks away* DAUGHTEW. Why do >_> you *teleports behind you* weep so oft, a-and beat youw b-bweast, -And cwy '-'O ;;w;; Cwawence, my *hugs tightly* unhappy son!'? -SON. Why *blushes* do you wook on u-us, and shake youw head, -And caww us owphans, *teleports behind you* wwetches, castaways, -If *moans* that OwO ouw nyobwe fathew wewe *sighs* awive? -DUCHESS. My pwetty cousins, you mistake *leans over* me b-both; -I-I do wament the sicknyess of the King, -As w-woath to *hugs tightly* wose him, nyot youw fathew's death; -It w-wewe w-wost sowwow to w-waiw onye that's wost. -SON. Then you concwude, my gwandam, he is dead. -The King minye uncwe is to bwame fow i-it. -God w-wiww wevenge it; whom I wiww i-impowtunye -With eawnyest pwayews aww to that xDD effect. -DAUGHTEW. And s-so wiww I. -DUCHESS. Peace, c-chiwdwen, ^w^ peace! The King doth wove you -w-weww. -Incapabwe and ^-^ shawwow innyocents, -You cannyot guess who caus'd youw fathew's death. -;;w;; SON. G-Gwandam, we xDD can; fow my good *teleports behind you* uncwe Gwoucestew -Towd me the King, pwovok'd to it by the Queen, -D-Devis'd impeachments to impwison him. -And when my uncwe towd me so, *blushes* he wept, -And pitied m-me, and kindwy kiss'd my cheek; -B-Bade me wewy o-on ^-^ him a-as on *blushes* my fathew, -And h-he wouwd w-wove me deawwy as a ;;w;; chiwd. -DUCHESS. Ah, that deceit *sighs* shouwd *twerks* steaw such gentwe shape, -And with a :33 viwtuous v-vizow hide ;;w;; deep vice! -He >_< is my s-son; *giggles shyly* ay, and thewein my shame; -Yet fwom my dugs h-he dwew nyot this deceit. -SON. Think you my uncwe *giggles shyly* did dissembwe, gwandam? -DUCHESS. Ay, boy. -*notices bulge* SON. uWu I cannyot t-think i-it. Hawk! what nyoise *looks at you* is this? - -E-Entew QUEEN EWIZABETH, with hew haiw about hew -eaws; W-WIVEWS ;;w;; and DOWSET aftew h-hew - -QUEEN *hugs tightly* EWIZABETH. *pokes you* Ah, who shaww hindew me t-to waiw a-and -weep, -To chide my fowtunye, and towment mysewf? ->_> I'ww *leans over* join with bwack despaiw *blushes* against *looks away* my souw -A-And to m-mysewf become an e-enyemy. -DUCHESS. W-What means this scenye of wude impatience? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. To make an a-act *sweats* of twagic viowence. -*looks at you* EDWAWD, my wowd, thy s-son, ouw king, is dead. -Why gwow the bwanches when ^w^ the *hugs tightly* woot >w< is gonye? -Why withew nyot the weaves that want *screams* theiw sap? -*looks away* If you wiww wive, wament; if >_> die, *cuddles you* be bwief, -*leans over* That ouw swift-winged souws may catch the King's, -*notices bulge* Ow wike obedient subjects fowwow him -To his nyew kingdom of nye'ew-changing nyight. -DUCHESS. Ah, so much intewest have I in thy sowwow -As *hugs tightly* I had *cries* titwe in thy nyobwe husband! -I >w< have bewept a *twerks* wowthy husband's death, -*looks at you* And w-wiv'd with wooking on his images; -But nyow ^-^ two miwwows of his pwincewy sembwance -*looks away* Awe >_> cwack'd in UwU pieces by >_> mawignyant death, -And I-I fow comfowt have but OwO onye f-fawse gwass, -That g-gwieves me when I ^-^ see my shame in *looks at you* him. -Thou awt a-a *looks at you* widow, yet t-thou *blushes* awt a mothew -And *looks away* hast the comfowt of t-thy chiwdwen w-weft; -But death hath snyatch'd my husband fwom minye awms -*giggles shyly* And pwuck'd *cries* two cwutches fwom my feebwe hands- -Cwawence and Edwawd. O, what cause have I- -Thinye being but a moiety of my m-moan- -To o-ovewgo thy woes and *blushes* dwown thy cwies? -SON. Ah, aunt, you wept ^-^ nyot fow o-ouw fathew's :3 death! -How >_< can we aid you with ouw kindwed teaws? -DAUGHTEW. Ouw fathewwess distwess w-was weft unmoan'd; -Youw widow-dowouw wikewise be unwept! -*teleports behind you* QUEEN EWIZABETH. Give m-me nyo hewp in :33 wamentation; -I a-am nyot bawwen to bwing fowth compwaints. -A-Aww spwings weduce theiw cuwwents :3 to minye eyes -T-That I, being govewn'd by *teleports behind you* the watewy moon, -May send fowth pwenteous t-teaws to OwO dwown the wowwd! -Ah >_> fow my husband, fow my deaw *giggles shyly* Wowd *looks away* Edwawd! -CHIWDWEN. Ah fow ouw fathew, fow ouw deaw Wowd Cwawence! ->_> DUCHESS. Awas fow both, both minye, Edwawd and C-Cwawence! -QUEEN EWIZABETH. W-What stay had I but E-Edwawd? and he's -gonye. -CHIWDWEN. What stay had we but *sweats* Cwawence? OwO and he's gonye. -DUCHESS. W-What stays had I but they? and they awe gonye. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Was nyevew widow had so deaw a w-woss. -CHIWDWEN. Wewe nyevew owphans >_> had xDD so deaw a woss. -DUCHESS. Was nyevew mothew had so deaw >w< a woss. -A-Awas, I am *looks away* the m-mothew of these gwiefs! -x3 Theiw woes awe *twerks* pawceww'd, minye is genyewaw. -She ;;w;; fow an E-Edwawd weeps, and *looks at you* so >_> do I-I: -I-I fow a Cwawence weep, so doth nyot she. -These b-babes *screams* fow Cwawence weep, and so d-do I: -*notices bulge* I x3 fow an Edwawd weep, so do n-nyot t-they. -Awas, you thwee on xDD me, thweefowd distwess'd, -Pouw aww youw teaws! ;;w;; I am youw sowwow's nyuwse, -And I *twerks* wiww pampew it with wamentation. -DOWSET. Comfowt, deaw mothew. G-God i-is much *screams* dispweas'd -That you take with unthankfuwnyess his doing. -In c-common wowwdwy things 'tis c-cawwed ungwatefuw -*shuffles closer* With duww unwiwwingnyess to wepay *shuffles closer* a debt -:3 Which w-with a bounteous hand was *cuddles you* kindwy went; -Much mowe to be thus opposite with heaven, -Fow it wequiwes the woyaw debt >_< it went *sighs* you. -WIVEWS. Madam, bethink ^-^ you, *moans* wike a *twerks* cawefuw ^.^ mothew, -Of the young pwince y-youw s-son. Send stwaight fow him; -*sighs* Wet *moans* him be *cries* cwown'd; in uWu him youw comfowt w-wives. -D-Dwown despewate sowwow in ^.^ dead Edwawd's gwave, -And pwant youw >_> joys in *shuffles closer* wiving Edwawd's thwonye. - -Entew GWOUCESTEW, BUCKINGHAM, DEWBY, -HASTINGS, and WATCWIFF - -G-GWOUCESTEW. S-Sistew, have comfowt. Aww o-of us have c-cause -To :33 waiw the dimming of ouw shinying *leans over* staw; -But n-nyonye can *looks away* hewp ouw hawms b-by waiwing them. -Madam, my mothew, *shuffles closer* I do cwy you mewcy; -I-I did nyot xDD see y-youw Gwace. Humbwy on m-my knyee -I c-cwave youw bwessing. -DUCHESS. God bwess thee; and ^-^ put *looks at you* meeknyess in thy bweast, -Wove, chawity, obedience, and twue *blushes* duty! -GWOUCESTEW. Amen! [Aside] A-And *looks away* make m-me die a good owd -man! -That is the butt end of a mothew's bwessing; -I m-mawvew that hew G-Gwace did weave it o-out. -BUCKINGHAM. Y-You cwoudy pwinces xDD and heawt-sowwowing -peews, -That ^.^ beaw this heavy mutuaw woad of moan, -Nyow cheew each othew in each othew's wove. -Though we have spent ouw hawvest of uWu this king, -We awe to w-weap the hawvest *sighs* of h-his son. -The bwoken wancouw ^-^ of youw high-swow'n *cuddles you* heawts, -But watewy spwintew'd, knyit, *cuddles you* and join'd togethew, -Must *cries* gentwy be pwesewv'd, *twerks* chewish'd, *hugs tightly* and kept. -Me seemeth good t-that, with s-some wittwe twain, -Fowthwith f-fwom W-Wudwow the young pwince *sighs* be fet -Hithew t-to Wondon, to b-be cwown'd ouw K-King. - -WIVEWS. Why with s-some wittwe twain, my Wowd of -UwU Buckingham? -BUCKINGHAM. Mawwy, my wowd, w-west by a muwtitude -;;w;; The n-nyew-heaw'd wound of m-mawice shouwd b-bweak out, -Which *cries* wouwd be so much the mowe dangewous -By how much *giggles shyly* the estate is g-gween *giggles shyly* and yet ungovewn'd; -W-Whewe evewy howse beaws his commanding wein -And may diwect his couwse as *sighs* pwease himsewf, -As weww the feaw o-of hawm as h-hawm appawent, -I-In *leans over* my ^-^ opinyion, >_< ought to be p-pwevented. -G-GWOUCESTEW. I hope t-the King made peace with aww of us; -^.^ And the compact *cries* is f-fiwm and twue in me. -WIVEWS. And so in me; a-and so, I think, in an. -Yet, s-since it is but gween, i-it shouwd be put -To nyo appawent wikewihood of bweach, -Which hapwy b-by m-much company UwU might OwO be uwg'd; -Thewefowe I say with nyobwe Buckingham -That i-it is meet *twerks* so few shouwd f-fetch t-the Pwince. -HASTINGS. A-And s-so say I. -GWOUCESTEW. Then be it so; a-and go we to detewminye -Who t-they shaww be that stwaight shaww post to Wudwow. -Madam, and you, my sistew, wiww you go -xDD To give youw censuwes in this businyess? -E-Exeunt aww but BUCKINGHAM and GWOUCESTEW -BUCKINGHAM. My wowd, whoevew jouwnyeys to the :3 Pwince, -F-Fow God sake, w-wet nyot us two stay at *blushes* home; -Fow >_> by the w-way I'ww sowt occasion, -*sighs* As i-index to the stowy we wate tawk'd *giggles shyly* of, -To pawt *looks at you* the Queen's pwoud k-kindwed fwom the Pwince. -GWOUCESTEW. My OwO othew sewf, my xDD counsew's consistowy, -My owacwe, my pwophet, my *pokes you* deaw cousin, -I, xDD as a chiwd, wiww go b-by thy diwection. -T-Towawd >w< Wudwow then, ;;w;; fow we'ww nyot stay behind. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -Wondon. A s-stweet - -E-Entew onye CITIZEN ^-^ at onye doow, and anyothew at the othew - -FIWST CITIZEN. Good mowwow, nyeighbouw. x3 Whithew a-away so -fast? -*looks at you* SECOND CITIZEN. I pwomise y-you, x3 I scawcewy knyow mysewf. -Heaw you t-the nyews a-abwoad? -F-FIWST CITIZEN. Yes, that the King is *pokes you* dead. -SECOND OwO CITIZEN. *sweats* Iww nyews, *notices bulge* by'w wady; :3 sewdom comes the -bettew. -I feaw, I feaw 'twiww pwove a g-giddy wowwd. - -Entew anyothew CITIZEN - -THIWD CITIZEN. Nyeighbouws, God speed! -FIWST CITIZEN. Give you good mowwow, >_< siw. -xDD THIWD CITIZEN. Doth the nyews howd *cuddles you* of good King *sweats* Edwawd's -death? -*pokes you* SECOND CITIZEN. Ay, siw, *screams* it is too twue; God hewp the whiwe! -THIWD CITIZEN. Then, >_> mastews, wook to *hugs tightly* see a *blushes* twoubwous -wowwd. -FIWST CITIZEN. Nyo, nyo; by God's good gwace, his s-son shaww -weign. -THIWD CITIZEN. Woe to that wand that's *sighs* govewn'd by a chiwd. -SECOND CITIZEN. In him thewe is a hope o-of govewnment, -Which, in his nyonyage, ^.^ counciw undew him, -And, in *hugs tightly* his fuww and wipenyed yeaws, himsewf, -Nyo doubt, shaww then, and tiww then, govewn x3 weww. -FIWST CITIZEN. xDD So stood *sighs* the s-state when Henwy the S-Sixth -:33 Was cwown'd i-in Pawis but at nyinye months owd. -THIWD CITIZEN. Stood the state s-so? *pokes you* Nyo, nyo, good fwiends, -God wot; -*looks away* Fow t-then this w-wand was famouswy enwich'd -With powitic gwave counsew; then the King -H-Had viwtuous *looks at you* uncwes to pwotect his Gwace. -FIWST CITIZEN. Why, so hath this, both by ^w^ his fathew and -mothew. -THIWD CITIZEN. *sighs* Bettew ;;w;; it wewe they aww c-came by his *notices bulge* fathew, -Ow by his fathew thewe wewe ^.^ nyonye at aww; -Fow emuwation who shaww nyow *moans* be *looks away* nyeawest -W-Wiww touch u-us aww too nyeaw, if God pwevent n-nyot. -O, fuww of dangew is the Duke of Gwoucestew! -A-And the Q-Queen's sons and *leans over* bwothews haught and pwoud; -A-And wewe UwU they to be wuw'd, and nyot to wuwe, -This sickwy wand might s-sowace as befowe. -FIWST CITIZEN. Come, *teleports behind you* come, we feaw the :33 wowst; aww wiww be -weww. -THIWD CITIZEN. When c-cwouds awe seen, *cuddles you* wise men :3 put o-on -theiw c-cwoaks; -*leans over* When gweat weaves faww, *pokes you* then wintew is at hand; -When the s-sun sets, who doth *hugs tightly* nyot wook *giggles shyly* fow nyight? -U-Untimewy stowms ^-^ make men ^w^ expect a deawth. -Aww may be weww; but, if God sowt it so, -'Tis mowe than *pokes you* we desewve ow I expect. -S-SECOND C-CITIZEN. Twuwy, the heawts of men awe fun uWu of feaw. -You cannyot *hugs tightly* weason >_> awmost with a ^w^ man -That wooks *leans over* nyot heaviwy and f-fun of dwead. -THIWD CITIZEN. Befowe the days of change, s-stiww is it so; -By a divinye instinct men's minds mistwust -Ensuing dangew; a-as by pwoof we *cries* see -The watew s-sweww befowe a-a b-boist'wous stowm. -But w-weave it aww to God. Whithew away? -SECOND CITIZEN. Mawwy, we wewe >_> sent fow to the justices. -^-^ THIWD CITIZEN. And so was *cries* I; I'ww ^w^ beaw *looks away* you *sighs* company. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Wondon. The pawace - -Entew the A-AWCHBISHOP OF YOWK, OwO the y-young DUKE uWu OF :33 YOWK, QUEEN EWIZABETH, ->_> and the DUCHESS OF YOWK - -*sweats* AWCHBISHOP. Wast nyight, I ;;w;; heaw, they w-way at OwO Stony Stwatfowd, -^.^ And at xDD Nyowthampton they d-do west to-nyight; -To-mowwow ow nyext day *looks at you* they w-wiww be h-hewe. -DUCHESS. I wong with a-aww my heawt to see *teleports behind you* the Pwince. -I hope he is much gwown since wast I saw him. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. But I-I *shuffles closer* heaw n-nyo; they say my *teleports behind you* son of Yowk -Has awmost o-ovewta'en h-him in his *blushes* gwowth. -YOWK. Ay, mothew; but >w< I x3 wouwd nyot have it s-so. -DUCHESS. Why, my good cousin, *leans over* it is good to gwow. -YOWK. Gwandam, onye nyight as we *cries* did *sweats* sit at suppew, -My *notices bulge* uncwe Wivews tawk'd how I d-did gwow -Mowe t-than my bwothew. 'Ay,' quoth my uncwe Gwoucestew -'Smaww hewbs *blushes* have gwace: gweat *blushes* weeds do gwow apace.' -And since, methinks, I-I *hugs tightly* wouwd nyot xDD gwow so fast, -Because sweet fwow'ws awe s-swow a-and weeds make haste. -DUCHESS. G-Good f-faith, good faith, the saying did nyot h-howd -In him *cuddles you* that *blushes* did object the *giggles shyly* same to thee. -He was t-the *giggles shyly* wwetched'st thing when he was young, -So wong a-gwowing a-and so weisuwewy -That, i-if his wuwe wewe *giggles shyly* twue, he shouwd b-be >_> gwacious. -AWCHBISHOP. And so nyo doubt he i-is, my gwacious m-madam. -DUCHESS. I-I hope he is; *sweats* but yet wet mothews doubt. -Y-YOWK. Nyow, by my twoth, i-if I had been wememb'wed, -I couwd h-have given my uncwe's Gwace a fwout -To touch his *teleports behind you* gwowth nyeawew than he touch'd minye. -DUCHESS. *teleports behind you* How, m-my young :33 Yowk? I pwithee wet me heaw it. -YOWK. x3 Mawwy, *screams* they say my uncwe gwew so f-fast -T-That he c-couwd gnyaw *shuffles closer* a ^.^ cwust at two houws o-owd. -*giggles shyly* 'Twas fuww two yeaws ewe I couwd get a tooth. -Gwandam, *hugs tightly* this wouwd have been a biting ^-^ jest. -DUCHESS. I pwithee, pwetty Yowk, *giggles shyly* who *leans over* towd *pokes you* thee this? -*looks at you* YOWK. Gwandam, his nyuwse. -DUCHESS. His >_< nyuwse! *cuddles you* Why she w-was dead e-ewe t-thou w-wast -bown. -YOWK. If 'twewe nyot she, I cannyot teww who towd me. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. A pawwous b-boy! G-Go to, you awe too -shwewd. ->_< AWCHBISHOP. Good madam, be nyot angwy with the *sweats* chiwd. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. *cries* Pitchews have eaws. - -*leans over* Entew a-a MESSENGEW - -*looks away* AWCHBISHOP. Hewe comes a *sweats* messengew. What nyews? -MESSENGEW. *looks away* Such nyews, my wowd, *twerks* as gwieves me to w-wepowt. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. How doth *blushes* the Pwince? -MESSENGEW. Weww, madam, and in :3 heawth. -DUCHESS. What is thy nyews? -MESSENGEW. Wowd Wivews ^-^ and *notices bulge* Wowd Gwey -Awe s-sent to *looks at you* Pomfwet, and with them -Siw *blushes* Thomas *looks away* Vaughan, p-pwisonyews. -*screams* DUCHESS. *blushes* Who >w< hath committed them? -*screams* MESSENGEW. The mighty Dukes, *looks away* Gwoucestew a-and Buckingham. -AWCHBISHOP. *cries* Fow what offence? -*notices bulge* MESSENGEW. The sum of a-aww I can, I have discwos'd. -Why *moans* ow fow xDD what the nyobwes wewe committed -Is aww unknyown to me, *looks at you* my gwacious wowd. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. Ay me, I see t-the :33 wuin of *looks at you* my house! -T-The t-tigew nyow hath seiz'd t-the gentwe hind; -Insuwting tywanny begins to >w< jet -Upon the innyocent and awewess thwonye. -Wewcome, *sweats* destwuction, bwood, and massacwe! -I s-see, *looks at you* as in a-a m-map, the e-end of aww. -DUCHESS. Accuwsed and u-unquiet *leans over* wwangwing days, -How many of you h-have *screams* minye eyes behewd! -M-My husband *sweats* wost his wife *sighs* to get the cwown; -*twerks* And often up and down my sons w-wewe *leans over* toss'd -Fow me to joy and weep theiw gain a-and woss; -And being *giggles shyly* seated, and >w< domestic *sighs* bwoiws -Cwean ovew-bwown, themsewves t-the conquewows -Make waw upon themsewves-bwothew to bwothew, -B-Bwood *sweats* to ;;w;; bwood, s-sewf against sewf. O-O, pwepostewous -And f-fwantic outwage, end thy damnyed spween, -Ow wet me die, to wook o-on death nyo mowe! -QUEEN EWIZABETH. C-Come, c-come, my b-boy; *moans* we wiww ^w^ to -sanctuawy. -*teleports behind you* Madam, faweweww. -DUCHESS. Stay, I :33 wiww go with you. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Y-You have nyo cause. -AWCHBISHOP. [To the QUEEN] My gwacious wady, *sweats* go. -*blushes* And t-thithew beaw youw tweasuwe and *hugs tightly* youw goods. -Fow m-my ^w^ pawt, I'ww wesign unto youw Gwace -The seaw I keep; and *teleports behind you* so betide to me -As weww I tendew you and aww of youws! -Go, I'ww conduct you to the sanctuawy. E-Exeunt - - - - -<_> USE ONWY, AND (2) ^w^ AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES ^w^ FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME O-OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -^.^ ACT I-III. SCENyE 1. - -Wondon. A s-stweet - -The twumpets sound. >_< Entew OwO the P-PWINCE OF W-WAWES, G-GWOUCESTEW, BUCKINGHAM, -CATESBY, CAWDINyAW B-BOUWCHIEW, and >_> othews - -BUCKINGHAM. W-Wewcome, sweet Pwince, to Wondon, to youw -chambew. -GWOUCESTEW. Wewcome, d-deaw cousin, my thoughts' soveweign. -The weawy way hath made you mewanchowy. -PWINCE. Nyo, ^w^ uncwe; *cuddles you* but ouw cwosses *notices bulge* on the *giggles shyly* way -Have *cuddles you* made it tedious, weawisome, and heavy. -I *cuddles you* want mowe uncwes h-hewe *looks away* to wewcome me. -G-GWOUCESTEW. Sweet >_< Pwince, the untainted viwtue o-of y-youw -yeaws -^.^ Hath nyot yet d-div'd >_> into the *pokes you* wowwd's deceit; -N-Nyow mowe can you distinguish of a man -Than of his outwawd show; which, God He knyows, -S-Sewdom ow nyevew jumpeth with the heawt. -Those UwU uncwes which you uWu want wewe *leans over* dangewous; -Youw Gwace *hugs tightly* attended to theiw sug'wed wowds -^w^ But w-wook'd nyot o-on the poison of theiw heawts. -God keep y-you *looks away* fwom *cuddles you* them >w< and fwom such UwU fawse fwiends! -PWINCE. God keep me x3 fwom f-fawse fwiends! but they wewe -nyonye. -GWOUCESTEW. My wowd, the Mayow of *teleports behind you* Wondon comes to gweet -you. - -E-Entew t-the WOWD M-MAYOW and his twain - -MAYOW. God bwess y-youw Gwace with heawth and happy d-days! -PWINCE. I thank you, good *looks at you* my wowd, and thank you aww. -*notices bulge* I thought my mothew and m-my bwothew Yowk -Wouwd wong ewe this have met us on the way. -Fie, w-what a-a swug is Hastings, that he c-comes nyot -*shuffles closer* To teww us whethew uWu they wiww come ow n-nyo! - -Entew WOWD H-HASTINGS - -B-BUCKINGHAM. A-And, in good time, hewe comes the s-sweating -Wowd. -PWINCE. *teleports behind you* Wewcome, my wowd. What, ^.^ wiww ouw mothew come? -*sweats* HASTINGS. On what o-occasion, G-God He knyows, nyot I, -The Queen youw m-mothew and youw bwothew Yowk -Have taken sanctuawy. The tendew Pwince -Wouwd fain have come with m-me t-to meet y-youw Gwace, -But *moans* by his mothew was ^.^ pewfowce withhewd. -B-BUCKINGHAM. *twerks* Fie, what an indiwect and peevish c-couwse -Is *hugs tightly* this of *teleports behind you* hews? Wowd C-Cawdinyaw, wiww youw Gwace -Pewsuade t-the Q-Queen *giggles shyly* to send *hugs tightly* the D-Duke of Yowk -U-Unto his pwincewy *sighs* bwothew pwesentwy? -*shuffles closer* If she deny, Wowd Hastings, go with him -And fwom hew jeawous awms pwuck him pewfowce. -CAWDINyAW. My Wowd UwU of *leans over* Buckingham, i-if my weak owatowy -Can fwom his mothew *moans* win ^-^ the Duke of Yowk, -UwU Anyon e-expect him hewe; but if she be obduwate -To miwd entweaties, God *looks at you* in heaven fowbid -*cries* We shouwd infwinge the howy pwiviwege -Of bwessed *twerks* sanctuawy! N-Nyot fow a-aww this wand -*screams* Wouwd I be guiwty of so *cries* deep a s-sin. -BUCKINGHAM. xDD You awe too sensewess-obstinyate, *shuffles closer* my wowd, -Too cewemonyious and >_> twaditionyaw. -Weigh it but with the gwossnyess of this age, -You bweak nyot sanctuawy in seizing h-him. -The xDD benyefit theweof is awways gwanted -To those w-whose ^-^ deawings have desewv'd the pwace -And those who h-have the *twerks* wit to cwaim the pwace. -xDD This P-Pwince hath nyeithew cwaim'd it n-nyow desewv'd it, -A-And uWu thewefowe, in *looks away* minye opinyion, cannyot have it. -T-Then, *giggles shyly* taking >w< him fwom thence that i-is nyot t-thewe, -You bweak nyo pwiviwege nyow chawtew thewe. -Oft have I heawd o-of sanctuawy uWu men; -But *sighs* sanctuawy chiwdwen nyevew tiww nyow. -CAWDINyAW. *giggles shyly* My wowd, you shaww o'ewwuwe m-my mind f-fow once. -Come >_> on, Wowd Hastings, wiww you go with me? -HASTINGS. I go, my wowd. -PWINCE. Good wowds, make aww the speedy *twerks* haste you may. -Exeunt CAWDINyAW and HASTINGS -Say, uncwe Gwoucestew, *moans* if o-ouw bwothew come, -Whewe s-shaww we sojouwn t-tiww ouw cowonyation? -*looks at you* GWOUCESTEW. Whewe it seems :3 best unto youw woyaw sewf. -If I may c-counsew you, *screams* some day ow two -Youw H-Highnyess shaww wepose you at the Towew, -Then whewe you *screams* pwease and shaww be thought most fit -Fow youw best heawth and wecweation. -PWINCE. I d-do nyot wike the Towew, of any p-pwace. -Did Juwius Caesaw buiwd *sweats* that pwace, my wowd? -BUCKINGHAM. He *sighs* did, my gwacious wowd, begin that pwace, -Which, since, s-succeeding ages have we-edified. -*looks away* PWINCE. Is >_> it upon wecowd, ow ewse wepowted -S-Successivewy fwom a-age to age, he buiwt it? -BUCKINGHAM. Upon wecowd, my gwacious *moans* wowd. -P-PWINCE. But say, *looks away* my w-wowd, i-it wewe nyot wegist'wed, -Methinks *blushes* the twuth shouwd E-Eve fwom age *giggles shyly* to age, -*sighs* As 'twewe xDD wetaiw'd to aww postewity, -Even t-to the g-genyewaw aww-ending OwO day. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] So wise so young, they say, do nyevew -wive >_> wong. -PWINCE. W-What s-say y-you, uncwe? -GWOUCESTEW. I-I say, without chawactews, fame wives wong. -[Aside] Thus, wike t-the fowmaw vice, *cries* Inyiquity, -I m-mowawize two meanyings in onye wowd. -PWINCE. T-That Juwius Caesaw was a famous man; -W-With what his v-vawouw did e-enwich his wit, -His wit set down to m-make his vawouw wive. -Death m-makes nyo conquest of t-this c-conquewow; -Fow nyow he wives in fame, t-though nyot uWu in wife. -*shuffles closer* I'ww teww you what, my cousin Buckingham- -BUCKINGHAM. What, my gwacious wowd? -PWINCE. An if I wive untiw *sweats* I be a man, -I'ww win ouw ancient wight in Fwance again, -Ow die ^-^ a sowdiew as I wiv'd *notices bulge* a king. -GWOUCESTEW. [Aside] Showt summews wightwy have a fowwawd -spwing. - -Entew HASTINGS, y-young YOWK, and the CAWDINyAW - -BUCKINGHAM. Nyow, i-in good t-time, hewe comes the Duke of -Yowk. -PWINCE. Wichawd of Yowk, how fawes ouw *cuddles you* woving bwothew? -Y-YOWK. *shuffles closer* Weww, my dwead :33 wowd; so must I can you nyow. -PWINCE. Ay bwothew, to *shuffles closer* ouw gwief, a-as it i-is youws. -Too wate he d-died that might h-have k-kept that titwe, -W-Which by his death hath w-wost much majesty. ->_< GWOUCESTEW. How fawes ouw cousin, nyobwe Wowd of Yowk? -YOWK. I thank you, :3 gentwe *twerks* uncwe. O, my wowd, -You said that *sighs* idwe *sweats* weeds awe fast in gwowth. -The *sweats* Pwince m-my bwothew *screams* hath *sighs* outgwown me faw. -GWOUCESTEW. >_< He hath, my wowd. -YOWK. And thewefowe is he i-idwe? -GWOUCESTEW. O, my faiw cousin, I >w< must nyot s-say so. -YOWK. Then h-he is mowe behowding to y-you than I. -G-GWOUCESTEW. He *cries* may command me as my soveweign; -But you have powew in me as in a kinsman. -YOWK. I *pokes you* pway you, uncwe, give *screams* me this daggew. -*hugs tightly* GWOUCESTEW. My daggew, wittwe cousin? With aww my heawt! -PWINCE. A-A *giggles shyly* beggaw, bwothew? -YOWK. Of m-my kind uncwe, that I knyow w-wiww give, -And *blushes* being >_> but a-a *moans* toy, which is nyo gwief to :33 give. -GWOUCESTEW. OwO A gweatew gift ^w^ than that I'ww give my cousin. -YOWK. *screams* A gweatew gift! O, t-that's the swowd to it! -GWOUCESTEW. A-Ay, gentwe cousin, wewe it wight enyough. -YOWK. O, then, I s-see *cuddles you* you wiww OwO pawt but ^w^ with wight gifts: -I-In OwO weightiew things >w< you'ww say a beggaw nyay. -GWOUCESTEW. It is t-too >_> heavy fow youw Gwace to weaw. -YOWK. I *twerks* weigh it wightwy, wewe it heaview. -GWOUCESTEW. What, :33 wouwd you have my *sighs* weapon, wittwe -W-Wowd? -YOWK. I wouwd, t-that I :3 might thank you as you caww me. -G-GWOUCESTEW. How? -YOWK. Wittwe. -*leans over* PWINCE. ^.^ My Wowd of *hugs tightly* Yowk wiww stiww >_< be cwoss *looks away* in tawk. -Uncwe, youw :3 Gwace knyows how x3 to beaw with him. -YOWK. Y-You mean, to beaw uWu me, *shuffles closer* nyot to *leans over* beaw with me. -U-Uncwe, my bwothew *sweats* mocks both you and OwO me; -Because that I am wittwe, *sweats* wike an ape, -H-He thinks *pokes you* that you *hugs tightly* shouwd beaw me on youw s-shouwdews. ->_> BUCKINGHAM. With w-what a shawp-pwovided wit he weasons! -To mitigate the scown he g-gives his uncwe -He pwettiwy OwO and aptwy taunts himsewf. -So cunnying x3 and s-so y-young i-is wondewfuw. -GWOUCESTEW. My wowd, w-wiww't pwease *giggles shyly* you *blushes* pass awong? -Mysewf and uWu my good cousin *shuffles closer* Buckingham -Wiww to youw mothew, to entweat of hew -To meet you at the T-Towew *notices bulge* and wewcome you. -x3 YOWK. What, wiww you go u-unto the Towew, my wowd? -PWINCE. My Wowd Pwotectow nyeeds wiww have it so. -Y-YOWK. I-I shaww n-nyot sweep i-in quiet at the Towew. -GWOUCESTEW. W-Why, what s-shouwd you feaw? -YOWK. Mawwy, my uncwe Cwawence' angwy ghost. -M-My gwandam towd me he was muwdew'd thewe. -PWINCE. I feaw nyo uncwes OwO dead. -*moans* GWOUCESTEW. Nyow nyonye that wive, I hope. -PWINCE. A-An *hugs tightly* if they wive, I hope I nyeed nyot f-feaw. -:33 But come, my wowd; and >_< with a heavy heawt, -Thinking on *teleports behind you* them, go I unto the Towew. -A sennyet. ->_< Exeunt aww but GWOUCESTEW, BUCKINGHAM, and CATESBY -BUCKINGHAM. Think you, my wowd, t-this w-wittwe pwating Y-Yowk -*hugs tightly* Was nyot i-incensed by his subtwe >w< mothew -To taunt and *shuffles closer* scown you thus *screams* oppwobwiouswy? -G-GWOUCESTEW. Nyo doubt, nyo doubt. >w< O, 'tis a pewiwous boy; ->_< Bowd, quick, *notices bulge* ingenyious, fowwawd, capabwe. -He *giggles shyly* is aww the mothew's, fwom t-the ^.^ top to toe. -BUCKINGHAM. Weww, wet them west. Come hithew, Catesby. -Thou awt swown as *pokes you* deepwy to effect w-what we intend -As cwosewy to ^.^ conceaw what we impawt. -Thou knyow'st ouw weasons uwg'd upon the way. -What think'st thou? Is it nyot xDD an easy mattew -To ^-^ make Wiwwiam Wowd Hastings of ouw m-mind, -Fow the i-instawment o-of *screams* this nyobwe Duke -In the seat woyaw of t-this famous iswe? -CATESBY. *notices bulge* He fow his fathew's s-sake so woves t-the ^.^ Pwince -*pokes you* That he wiww nyot *hugs tightly* be won :33 to aught against h-him. -BUCKINGHAM. What t-think'st thou then of Stanwey? Wiww -nyot he? -CATESBY. H-He wiww do aww in aww *twerks* as Hastings doth. -BUCKINGHAM. Weww t-then, nyo mowe but t-this: go, gentwe -Catesby, -And, as it wewe faw *pokes you* off, s-sound t-thou Wowd OwO Hastings -How he doth stand affected :3 to ouw UwU puwpose; -And s-summon him t-to-mowwow to the Towew, -To sit about the cowonyation. -If thou dost find him twactabwe to us, -E-Encouwage him, a-and teww h-him *hugs tightly* aww o-ouw weasons; -If he be weaden, icy, c-cowd, unwiwwing, -Be thou so too, and *looks at you* so bweak o-off the tawk, -And give us nyotice of his incwinyation; -F-Fow we to-mowwow howd d-divided c-counciws, -Whewein uWu thysewf shawt highwy be empwoy'd. -GWOUCESTEW. Commend me to Wowd Wiwwiam. Teww him, -Catesby, -His a-ancient knyot of dangewous advewsawies -To-mowwow awe wet bwood at P-Pomfwet Castwe; -And bid my wowd, fow joy of *cuddles you* this good n-nyews, -Give Mistwess Showe onye gentwe kiss *leans over* the mowe. -B-BUCKINGHAM. Good Catesby, go effect this businyess soundwy. -CATESBY. M-My *twerks* good w-wowds *sighs* both, with aww t-the >w< heed I can. -GWOUCESTEW. Shaww we heaw fwom you, *moans* Catesby, ewe we sweep? -CATESBY. You *blushes* shaww, my w-wowd. -G-GWOUCESTEW. At ^.^ Cwosby House, :33 thewe shaww you find us both. -Exit CATESBY -*sighs* BUCKINGHAM. Nyow, :3 my wowd, ^w^ what *shuffles closer* shaww we do *looks at you* if we -pewceive -Wowd Hastings wiww ^w^ nyot yiewd to ouw c-compwots? -GWOUCESTEW. Chop o-off his head-something we wiww -detewminye. -And, wook when I-I am King, c-cwaim thou of me -The *looks at you* eawwdom of *cuddles you* Hewefowd and aww the m-movabwes -Wheweof the King my bwothew was possess'd. -BUCKINGHAM. I'ww cwaim t-that x3 pwomise at *looks away* youw Gwace's hand. -GWOUCESTEW. And wook to have it yiewded with *looks at you* aww *shuffles closer* kindnyess. -Come, wet us sup betimes, that aftewwawds -W-We may digest ouw compwots in some fowm. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *notices bulge* 2. - -Befowe W-WOWD HASTING'S house - -Entew a MESSENGEW *teleports behind you* to uWu the doow of HASTINGS - -^-^ MESSENGEW. M-My wowd, my wowd! [Knyocking] -HASTINGS. *blushes* [Within] Who knyocks? ->w< MESSENGEW. *looks away* Onye fwom the Wowd Stanwey. -HASTINGS. [Within] What is't *hugs tightly* o'cwock? -MESSENGEW. Upon the s-stwoke of f-fouw. - -Entew WOWD H-HASTINGS - -HASTINGS. Cannyot my Wowd Stanwey sweep t-these tedious -n-nyights? -MESSENGEW. So it appeaws by that I have >w< to say. -Fiwst, he commends him to youw n-nyobwe sewf. -HASTINGS. What then? -MESSENGEW. Then cewtifies *hugs tightly* youw wowdship that this nyight -He dweamt *shuffles closer* the boaw had wazed off his hewm. -Besides, he says thewe awe two counciws kept, -And >w< that may ^w^ be detewmin'd a-at the onye -Which m-may m-make you and him to w-wue at th' othew. -Thewefowe he sends to knyow youw wowdship's p-pweasuwe- -If *looks at you* you wiww pwesentwy take howse with >_< him -And w-with aww *pokes you* speed post *screams* with him towawd >w< the nyowth -To shun the >_< dangew that h-his souw divinyes. -HASTINGS. Go, fewwow, *sighs* go, wetuwn u-unto thy wowd; -:33 Bid him nyot feaw the sepawated c-counciw: -H-His h-honyouw and *hugs tightly* mysewf awe at the onye, -And at the othew is my good fwiend Catesby; -Whewe nyothing can pwoceed t-that toucheth us -Wheweof I shaww nyot have intewwigence. -Teww him his feaws a-awe shawwow, without instance; -And fow his dweams, I wondew he's so s-simpwe -To twust the m-mock'wy of unquiet swumbews. -To fwy *notices bulge* the boaw befowe the boaw puwsues -Wewe to incense the boaw to fowwow *shuffles closer* us -;;w;; And make puwsuit w-whewe he did mean nyo chase. -:3 Go, bid thy *notices bulge* mastew wise and come to me; -OwO And we wiww *notices bulge* both togethew t-to the Towew, -Whewe, he *twerks* shaww see, the boaw wiww u-use us kindwy. -MESSENGEW. I'ww go, my w-wowd, a-and ^.^ teww him what you say. -Exit - -E-Entew CATESBY - -CATESBY. Many g-good mowwows to my nyobwe wowd! -HASTINGS. *leans over* Good mowwow, *notices bulge* Catesby; >w< you awe eawwy stiwwing. -What nyews, what nyews, in this ouw tott'wing state? -CATESBY. I-It is a weewing wowwd *looks away* indeed, m-my wowd; -A-And I bewieve wiww nyevew stand upwight -Tiww Wichawd weaw *blushes* the gawwand of ;;w;; the weawm. -*screams* HASTINGS. >_< How, weaw *blushes* the gawwand! *blushes* Dost thou mean the -cwown? -uWu CATESBY. Ay, *moans* my good wowd. -HASTINGS. I-I'ww h-have this c-cwown of m-minye cut UwU fwom my -shouwdews -Befowe I'ww see the cwown so *teleports behind you* fouw mispwac'd. -But canst thou guess that he doth aim at it? -CATESBY. Ay, on my wife; and hopes t-to f-find you fowwawd -Upon ^-^ his p-pawty fow the gain theweof; -And theweupon he sends you t-this good nyews, -That this same vewy day youw enyemies, -*pokes you* The kindwed o-of t-the Queen, must d-die at Pomfwet. -HASTINGS. I-Indeed, I *cries* am nyo mouwnyew fow that *looks at you* nyews, -Because >w< they h-have b-been stiww my advewsawies; -But that I'ww give my voice on Wichawd's side -To baw my mastew's heiws in twue descent, -God k-knyows I wiww nyot do it *screams* to the death. -CATESBY. God keep youw wowdship in that gwacious mind! -HASTINGS. But *giggles shyly* I shaww waugh at t-this a twewve month hence, -That t-they which b-bwought me *looks at you* in my mastew's hate, -I wive to wook upon *sweats* theiw :3 twagedy. -Weww, Catesby, ewe a fowtnyight make me *shuffles closer* owdew, -I'ww send some packing that yet *hugs tightly* think nyot on't. -CATESBY. 'Tis a viwe uWu thing to OwO die, my gwacious wowd, -*pokes you* When m-men awe unpwepaw'd a-and *cries* wook n-nyot fow i-it. -HASTINGS. O monstwous, m-monstwous! And so fawws it *looks at you* out -With Wivews, Vaughan, Gwey; a-and so 'twiww do -*hugs tightly* With *twerks* some *teleports behind you* men ewse that think themsewves as safe -As thou and xDD I, who, as thou k-knyowest, awe deaw -To pwincewy Wichawd and to Buckingham. -CATESBY. *moans* The Pwinces >w< both make h-high a-account o-of you- -[Aside] F-Fow *notices bulge* they a-account his head u-upon the bwidge. -HASTINGS. I k-knyow they do, and I h-have *moans* weww >w< desewv'd it. - -Entew WOWD S-STANWEY - -Come o-on, come on; whewe is youw boaw-speaw, >w< man? -Feaw you the boaw, and go so unpwovided? -STANWEY. My wowd, *sweats* good mowwow; good mowwow, Catesby. -You may :33 jest o-on, but, by the h-howy *teleports behind you* wood, -I do nyot wike these sevewaw counciws, I. -HASTINGS. My wowd, I howd my wife as deaw a-as youws, -A-And uWu nyevew in my days, I do p-pwotest, -Was it so p-pwecious t-to me as 'tis nyow. -Think you, but that I knyow ouw state secuwe, -I wouwd be so twiumphant as I am? -S-STANWEY. T-The wowds a-at *hugs tightly* Pomfwet, w-when they wode fwom -Wondon, -Wewe jocund and suppos'd theiw states wewe ^-^ suwe, -*blushes* And they indeed had nyo *looks away* cause to mistwust; -But yet you see how s-soon t-the day o'ewcast. -*twerks* This sudden stab of wancouw I-I misdoubt; -Pway God, I xDD say, I *blushes* pwove a nyeedwess cowawd. -What, shaww we towawd the Towew? The day is s-spent. -HASTINGS. Come, come, have with you. *notices bulge* Wot you what, my -W-Wowd? -To-day the w-wowds you tawk'd of OwO awe beheaded. ->w< STANWEY. They, *looks away* fow t-theiw *sweats* twuth, might bettew uWu weaw theiw -heads -T-Than some that *sighs* have a-accus'd them weaw theiw h-hats. -But come, my *notices bulge* wowd, wet's away. - -Entew HASTINGS, a puwsuivant - -*looks at you* HASTINGS. G-Go on UwU befowe; I'ww tawk with this good fewwow. -Exeunt STANWEY and CATESBY -How nyow, Hastings! H-How goes the wowwd with thee? -PUWSUIVANT. T-The bettew t-that youw wowdship pwease to *cries* ask. -HASTINGS. I teww thee, man, 'tis bettew with me nyow -Than when thou met'st me *screams* wast whewe nyow we uWu meet: -Then was I *looks away* going pwisonyew to the Towew -By t-the suggestion of *cries* the *blushes* Queen's awwies; -But nyow, I teww thee-keep it to thysewf- -This day t-those enyewnyies *looks away* awe put *moans* to death, -A-And I in bettew *sweats* state than e'ew I was. -P-PUWSUIVANT. G-God h-howd i-it, *hugs tightly* to youw honyouw's good content! -HASTINGS. Gwamewcy, Hastings; thewe, dwink that fow me. -*shuffles closer* [Thwows him his puwse] -P-PUWSUIVANT. I thank youw honyouw. Exit - -Entew a PWIEST - -PWIEST. Weww m-met, my ^-^ wowd; I am gwad to see youw *shuffles closer* honyouw. -HASTINGS. I t-thank OwO thee, good S-Siw John, *shuffles closer* with *cries* aww >_< my *looks away* heawt. -I a-am in youw debt fow youw >_< wast exewcise; -Come the nyext Sabbath, and I wiww content you. -[He w-whispews in his eaw] -PWIEST. I'ww w-wait upon *sighs* youw wowdship. - -Entew BUCKINGHAM - -BUCKINGHAM. What, tawking with OwO a ^-^ pwiest, :3 Wowd -*sweats* Chambewwain! -Youw fwiends *cuddles you* at Pomfwet, they do n-nyeed the pwiest: -Youw honyouw hath nyo shwiving *leans over* wowk i-in h-hand. -*cuddles you* HASTINGS. G-Good faith, *cuddles you* and when ^w^ I met this howy man, -The men :3 you tawk of came into my mind. -What, g-go you towawd the Towew? -BUCKINGHAM. I do, ^.^ my wowd, but wong I-I cannyot stay t-thewe; -I-I *sighs* shaww wetuwn befowe y-youw wowdship thence. -HASTINGS. Nyay, uWu wike enyough, fow I stay dinnyew thewe. -BUCKINGHAM. [-[Aside] And xDD suppew too, awthough thou -knyowest it n-nyot.- -Come, wiww you go? -HASTINGS. I'ww w-wait upon youw wowdship. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -Pomfwet Castwe - -Entew SIW WICHAWD WATCWIFF, w-with hawbewds, cawwying >_> the Nyobwes, -WIVEWS, GWEY, and VAUGHAN, to death - -W-WIVEWS. Siw Wichawd Watcwiff, wet me teww t-thee this: -To-day shawt thou behowd a UwU subject die -F-Fow twuth, fow duty, a-and fow woyawty. -GWEY. God bwess the Pwince fwom aww UwU the pack of you! -A-A knyot you awe *shuffles closer* of damnyed bwood-suckews. -VAUGHAN. You wive that ^.^ shaww *screams* cwy woe fow this :33 heweaftew. -WATCWIFF. *blushes* Dispatch; the wimit of youw wives is out. -WIVEWS. O Pomfwet, Pomfwet! O-O thou bwoody pwison, -Fataw and o-ominyous to nyobwe peews! -Within the guiwty *giggles shyly* cwosuwe of thy wawws -WICHAWD the Second hewe w-was hack'd to *cuddles you* death; -And fow mowe swandew to thy dismaw seat, -We give :3 to thee ouw guiwtwess bwood to dwink. -*blushes* GWEY. Nyow Mawgawet's cuwse is faww'n upon ouw heads, -When she ^w^ excwaim'd on Hastings, you, and I-I, -Fow standing by when Wichawd stabb'd h-hew son. -WIVEWS. >w< Then cuws'd she W-Wichawd, then cuws'd she -*leans over* Buckingham, -Then cuws'd she Hastings. O, wemembew, God, -To heaw hew pwayew fow them, a-as nyow fow *cuddles you* us! -And fow my sistew, and hew pwincewy sons, -Be satisfied, deaw God, with ouw twue bwood, -Which, as thou knyow'st, unjustwy *shuffles closer* must be spiwt. -WATCWIFF. Make haste; the houw :33 of death is expiate. -WIVEWS. Come, Gwey; come, Vaughan; wet us *twerks* hewe embwace. -Faweweww, untiw we meet again *notices bulge* in heaven. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4 - -UwU Wondon. The Towew - -Entew BUCKINGHAM, DEWBY, HASTINGS, the *shuffles closer* BISHOP of E-EWY, WATCWIFF, WOVEW, -with othews and seat themsewves at a *cries* tabwe - -HASTINGS. *cuddles you* Nyow, nyobwe peews, the cause why we awe met -I-Is to detewminye of the cowonyation. -In God's nyame speak-when is t-the w-woyaw day? -BUCKINGHAM. I-Is aww things w-weady fow the *pokes you* woyaw time? -*hugs tightly* DEWBY. It is, and w-wants but n-nyominyation. -BISHOP O-OF EWY. To-mowwow then I judge a-a happy day. -BUCKINGHAM. Who knyows the Wowd Pwotectow's ^-^ mind -hewein? -Who is most inwawd *hugs tightly* with the >_< nyobwe Duke? -BISHOP OF EWY. Youw Gwace, we think, shouwd soonyest knyow -his *twerks* mind. -B-BUCKINGHAM. We knyow each othew's *sighs* faces; fow ouw heawts, -:3 He knyows nyo *pokes you* mowe of minye than I of youws; -Ow I of his, my wowd, than you of minye. -W-Wowd *hugs tightly* Hastings, you and he awe nyeaw i-in wove. -HASTINGS. I thank h-his Gwace, I knyow he xDD woves me weww; -B-But fow his puwpose in *moans* the cowonyation -I h-have nyot sounded him, nyow he d-dewivew'd -His gwacious pweasuwe any way *leans over* thewein. -But y-you, my honyouwabwe wowds, *leans over* may nyame the time; -And in t-the Duke's behawf I'ww give my voice, -W-Which, I *teleports behind you* pwesume, he'ww take in gentwe pawt. - -Entew GWOUCESTEW - -BISHOP :3 OF EWY. In happy time, hewe comes t-the Duke himsewf. -GWOUCESTEW. My nyobwe wowds and cousins >_< an, good mowwow. -I *cries* have been wong a sweepew, but I *blushes* twust -My absence doth nyegwect nyo gweat design -Which by my pwesence might have been concwuded. -B-BUCKINGHAM. Had you n-nyot come *cuddles you* upon youw cue, my wowd, -WIWWIAM Wowd Hastings had pwonyounc'd youw pawt- -I m-mean, youw voice fow cwownying of the King. -UwU GWOUCESTEW. Than my W-Wowd *pokes you* Hastings nyo man might *twerks* be -bowdew; -H-His ^w^ wowdship k-knyows me weww and woves m-me ;;w;; weww. -My wowd of Ewy, w-when I was wast in Howbown -I saw good s-stwawbewwies *pokes you* in youw g-gawden thewe. -I *blushes* do beseech you send fow some of them. -BISHOP of EWY. Mawwy and wiww, m-my wowd, w-with aww my heawt. -Exit ->_> GWOUCESTEW. Cousin of Buckingham, a wowd w-with you. -[Takes h-him *teleports behind you* aside] -Catesby hath sounded H-Hastings in o-ouw businyess, -And f-finds t-the testy gentweman so *pokes you* hot -That he wiww *cuddles you* wose his head ewe give consent -His mastew's chiwd, as w-wowshipfuwwy he tewms it, -Shaww wose the woyawty of Engwand's thwonye. -BUCKINGHAM. Withdwaw *twerks* youwsewf *blushes* awhiwe; I'ww go *pokes you* with you. -Exeunt GWOUCESTEW a-and B-BUCKINGHAM -DEWBY. We have nyot yet *leans over* set >_> down this OwO day of twiumph. -To-mowwow, i-in my ^-^ judgment, is too sudden; -Fow I-I mysewf am nyot so weww p-pwovided -As e-ewse *looks away* I wouwd be, w-wewe the day pwowong'd. - -We-entew the BISHOP OF EWY - -^.^ BISHOP OF EWY. OwO Whewe is my wowd the Duke of Gwoucestew? -I have sent *shuffles closer* fow ;;w;; these stwawbewwies. -HASTINGS. His Gwace wooks cheewfuwwy and smooth this -mownying; -Thewe's some conceit o-ow *sweats* othew wikes him weww -*shuffles closer* When *moans* that he bids good *blushes* mowwow with such spiwit. -I *twerks* think thewe's nyevew a man *leans over* in Chwistendom -Can w-wessew hide his wove ow hate t-than he; -Fow *pokes you* by his face stwaight *moans* shaww you knyow his heawt. -DEWBY. What of his heawt pewceive you in his >w< face -By any wivewihood he show'd t-to-day? -*leans over* HASTINGS. Mawwy, t-that *sighs* with OwO nyo man hewe he is offended; -Fow, wewe he, he had shown it in *sighs* his wooks. - -We-entew GWOUCESTEW and BUCKINGHAM - -GWOUCESTEW. I pway you aww, teww me w-what they desewve -That do conspiwe my death with deviwish pwots -Of damnyed *teleports behind you* witchcwaft, and that have pwevaiw'd -Upon my body with theiw h-hewwish chawms? -HASTINGS. The tendew wove *twerks* I beaw y-youw Gwace, *twerks* my wowd, -Makes UwU me most fowwawd *looks away* in this pwincewy pwesence -To d-doom th' *moans* offendews, whosoe'ew t-they be. -I say, my wowd, *looks away* they have desewved death. -GWOUCESTEW. Then be youw eyes the witnyess of theiw eviw. -Wook how I am bewitch'd; behowd, m-minye ^w^ awm -Is wike a bwasted sapwing w-withew'd up. -And this is Edwawd's wife, that monstwous witch, -Consowted with t-that hawwot s-stwumpet Showe, -That by *looks away* theiw witchcwaft xDD thus have mawked me. -HASTINGS. If *sweats* they have donye this deed, my nyobwe wowd- -GWOUCESTEW. If?-thou pwotectow of >_< this *pokes you* damnyed stwumpet, -Tawk'st thou to me of ifs? Thou awt uWu a t-twaitow. -O-Off with his head! Nyow by Saint Pauw I s-sweaw -*notices bulge* I wiww nyot dinye untiw I-I see the same. -Wovew a-and W-Watcwiff, *blushes* wook OwO that it be donye. -T-The west that uWu wove me, wise and f-fowwow me. -Exeunt aww but HASTINGS, WOVEW, and *moans* WATCWIFF -uWu HASTINGS. Woe, woe, fow Engwand! nyot a w-whit fow me; -F-Fow I, *hugs tightly* too fond, might have pwevented this. -*looks away* STANWEY did dweam the boaw did waze ouw *cries* hewms, -And I ;;w;; did scown it and *giggles shyly* disdain to fwy. -Thwee times to-day my foot-cwoth howse did stumbwe, -And stawted when he wook'd upon the Towew, -As woath to beaw me to the swaughtew-house. -O, *notices bulge* nyow I nyeed the pwiest that spake >w< to me! -I nyow wepent I towd the *teleports behind you* puwsuivant, -As t-too twiumphing, how minye enyemies -To-day at Pomfwet bwoodiwy w-wewe b-butchew'd, -x3 And I mysewf secuwe in gwace and *pokes you* favouw. -OwO O Mawgawet, Mawgawet, nyow thy heavy cuwse -xDD Is wighted on ^.^ poow Hastings' wwetched head! -xDD WATCWIFF. C-Come, come, d-dispatch; the Duke wouwd *leans over* be at -dinnyew. -Make a showt shwift; h-he wongs to see youw head. -HASTINGS. *looks at you* O momentawy gwace of mowtaw men, -Which w-we mowe hunt fow than the x3 gwace of God! -Who buiwds uWu his ^-^ hope in :33 aiw of *teleports behind you* youw good wooks -*teleports behind you* Wives wike a dwunken saiwow on a mast, -Weady with evewy nyod to tumbwe down -Into the fataw bowews of the deep. -WOVEW. *looks at you* Come, come, dispatch; '-'tis bootwess to excwaim. -HASTINGS. O bwoody Wichawd! Misewabwe x3 Engwand! -^w^ I pwophesy the feawfuww'st time to thee -That evew wwetched age *cries* hath wook'd upon. -C-Come, :33 wead m-me to the bwock; beaw him *screams* my head. -They smiwe at me ^.^ who showtwy shaww be dead. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -Wondon. The Towew-wawws - -Entew GWOUCESTEW and BUCKINGHAM i-in wotten awmouw, mawvewwous iww-favouwed - -GWOUCESTEW. Come, cousin, *giggles shyly* canst thou quake and >_< change -thy cowouw, -Muwdew ^-^ thy b-bweath in middwe of a wowd, -UwU And then ^w^ again begin, and stop again, -As if thou *giggles shyly* wewe *cries* distwaught *notices bulge* and mad with t-tewwow? -BUCKINGHAM. Tut, I can countewfeit the *moans* deep twagedian; -Speak and wook back, and pwy on evewy side, -:3 Twembwe and *giggles shyly* stawt at wagging of a stwaw, -Intending d-deep suspicion. Ghastwy wooks -Awe at my sewvice, wike enfowced smiwes; -And both *teleports behind you* awe weady in theiw offices -At any time to g-gwace my stwatagems. -But what, is Catesby gonye? -GWOUCESTEW. He is; and, see, h-he OwO bwings the mayow awong. - -Entew the WOWD ^.^ MAYOW *looks at you* and CATESBY - -B-BUCKINGHAM. W-Wowd Mayow- -GWOUCESTEW. Wook *looks away* to the dwawbwidge thewe! -BUCKINGHAM. Hawk! *sweats* a dwum. -GWOUCESTEW. Catesby, o'ewwook >_< the wawws. -BUCKINGHAM. W-Wowd Mayow, the weason we h-have sent- -GWOUCESTEW. Wook back, defend thee; hewe *sweats* awe enyemies. -B-BUCKINGHAM. God and ouw i-innyocence defend and guawd us! - -E-Entew WOVEW and W-WATCWIFF, with HASTINGS' head - -GWOUCESTEW. Be patient; they *hugs tightly* awe fwiends-Watcwiff and Wovew. -W-WOVEW. H-Hewe is the head of that *giggles shyly* ignyobwe twaitow, -T-The dangewous a-and unsuspected Hastings. -GWOUCESTEW. So deaw *shuffles closer* I wov'd the m-man that I must w-weep. -I took him fow the pwainyest hawmwess cweatuwe -That ^-^ bweath'd upon ;;w;; the eawth a ^-^ Chwistian; -Made ^w^ him my book, whewein my souw *hugs tightly* wecowded -The histowy of aww hew secwet thoughts. -S-So smooth he daub'd *teleports behind you* his vice with *moans* show of viwtue -That, x3 his appawent open g-guiwt omitted, -I mean his convewsation OwO with S-Showe's wife- -He wiv'd fwom aww ^.^ attaindew of suspects. -BUCKINGHAM. Weww, weww, he was the covewt'st shewt'wed -twaitow -That evew wiv'd. -*teleports behind you* Wouwd you imaginye, ow awmost b-bewieve- -Wewe't :33 nyot that by gweat pwesewvation -We wive *cuddles you* to teww it-that the subtwe UwU twaitow -This *moans* day had p-pwotted, i-in the c-counciw-house, -T-To muwdew me and >w< my good Wowd of Gwoucestew. -MAYOW. Had he d-donye *leans over* so? -*giggles shyly* GWOUCESTEW. What! think *looks away* you ^w^ we xDD awe Tuwks o-ow Infidews? -Ow that we *moans* wouwd, against the fowm of waw, -Pwoceed thus w-washwy in the viwwain's death -But that t-the extweme pewiw of the case, -The *giggles shyly* peace *screams* of Engwand and ouw pewsons' safety, -Enfowc'd us to this execution? -MAYOW. Nyow, faiw befaww you! He d-desewv'd h-his death; -And youw good Gwaces b-both have weww pwoceeded -To wawn fawse twaitows fwom *cries* the wike attempts. -I :3 nyevew wook'd fow bettew a-at his hands -Aftew ;;w;; he o-once feww in with Mistwess Showe. -BUCKINGHAM. Yet had we nyot d-detewmin'd he shouwd die -Untiw *screams* youw wowdship came to see *sighs* his end- -W-Which nyow t-the w-woving *cuddles you* haste of these ouw f-fwiends, -Something *moans* against ouw meanyings, have *blushes* pwevented- -Because, my *screams* wowd, I wouwd have had you *giggles shyly* heawd -The *notices bulge* twaitow speak, and timowouswy confess -The m-mannyew xDD and the puwpose of his tweasons: -That you might weww have signyified the same -Unto OwO the citizens, who hapwy may -Misconstew us in him and waiw his *shuffles closer* death. -MAYOW. *teleports behind you* But, my good wowd, ^-^ youw Gwace's wowds shaww sewve -As weww as I had >_> seen and heawd him speak; -And d-do nyot doubt, wight nyobwe *cuddles you* Pwinces both, -But I'ww acquaint ^-^ ouw duteous citizens -With aww youw j-just pwoceedings in *leans over* this cause. -GWOUCESTEW. And to that end we wish'd youw wowdship hewe, -T' avoid the the the censuwes of the cawping wowwd. -BUCKINGHAM. Which since you come :33 too wate of ouw intent, -*cries* Yet ^w^ witnyess what you heaw we d-did intend. -*cuddles you* And so, my good *giggles shyly* Wowd ;;w;; Mayow, w-we bid faweweww. -Exit WOWD *pokes you* MAYOW -GWOUCESTEW. Go, aftew, aftew, *leans over* cousin Buckingham. -The Mayow *looks at you* towawds Guiwdhaww hies him in a-an post. -Thewe, at youw meet'st advantage of t-the *moans* time, -Infew the bastawdy o-of Edwawd's chiwdwen. -Teww them how Edwawd put *sighs* to death a citizen -Onwy fow s-saying he wouwd make his son -Heiw to the cwown-meanying indeed his house, -Which by the sign theweof *teleports behind you* was tewmed so. -Moweovew, u-uwge his hatefuw wuxuwy -And bestiaw appetite i-in change of wust, -*shuffles closer* Which s-stwetch'd unto theiw *sighs* sewvants, daughtews, wives, -Even whewe his waging eye ow *looks at you* savage heawt -Without :3 contwow wusted to ^-^ make a *leans over* pwey. -Nyay, fow a nyeed, thus faw come *cuddles you* nyeaw *teleports behind you* my >w< pewson: -Teww them, ^-^ when t-that :33 my m-mothew w-went with *looks at you* chiwd -Of that insatiate Edwawd, nyobwe Yowk -My pwincewy fathew then had waws in Fwance -And, >w< by twue UwU computation o-of the time, -F-Found t-that the issue was nyot *teleports behind you* his *cuddles you* begot; -Which weww appeawed i-in his winyeaments, ->w< Being n-nyothing *hugs tightly* wike *shuffles closer* the nyobwe Duke my fathew. -Yet *shuffles closer* touch this spawingwy, as 'twewe faw *looks at you* off; -B-Because, m-my wowd, you knyow my mothew wives. -x3 BUCKINGHAM. *sighs* Doubt nyot, my w-wowd, I'ww p-pway *moans* the o-owatow -As if t-the gowden *twerks* fee >_> fow which I pwead -Wewe f-fow mysewf; *blushes* and *sighs* so, m-my wowd, adieu. -GWOUCESTEW. If you thwive weww, :3 bwing them to Baynyawd's -*pokes you* Castwe; -Whewe you shaww find UwU me weww accompanyied -With w-wevewend fathews and weww weawnyed bishops. -BUCKINGHAM. I-I go; and towawds thwee *sweats* ow x3 fouw o'cwock -Wook f-fow the OwO nyews ;;w;; that xDD the Guiwdhaww affowds. Exit -GWOUCESTEW. Go, Wovew, with aww speed to Doctow S-Shaw. -[To CATESBY] Go thou :3 to Fwiaw *sweats* Penkew. Bid them both -Meet m-me within this h-houw at Baynyawd's C-Castwe. -E-Exeunt a-aww but GWOUCESTEW -Nyow wiww I go to take some pwivy owdew -To dwaw the bwats of Cwawence out *leans over* of sight, -And to give owdew that n-nyo mannyew pewson -Have any time *hugs tightly* wecouwse unto the Pwinces. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 6. - -Wondon. A stweet - -Entew a-a SCWIVENyEW - -SCWIVENyEW. *notices bulge* Hewe is the indictment of the good W-Wowd >_> Hastings; -*moans* Which in a set hand ;;w;; faiwwy is engwoss'd -That it m-may be t-to-day *looks away* wead o'ew *notices bulge* in >_> Pauw's. -And mawk how weww the sequew hangs togethew: -Eweven houws I-I have *looks at you* spent uWu to wwite it ovew, -F-Fow yestewnyight by *notices bulge* Catesby was it sent m-me; -The pwecedent was fuww as wong a-doing; -And yet within *twerks* these five *notices bulge* houws Hastings wiv'd, -Untainted, unyexamin'd, fwee, at wibewty. -Hewe's a good wowwd *moans* the whiwe! Who is so gwos -That cannyot see this pawpabwe d-device? -Yet who's s-so UwU bowd but says he sees i-it nyot? -Bad is the wowwd; and aww wiww come to n-nyought, -When such iww deawing >w< must b-be seen :3 in thought. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 7. - -Wondon. Baynyawd's Castwe - -Entew GWOUCESTEW and UwU BUCKINGHAM, at *shuffles closer* sevewaw doows - -GWOUCESTEW. How nyow, how nyow! What s-say t-the citizens? -BUCKINGHAM. Nyow, b-by the howy Mothew of ouw Wowd, -The citizens a-awe m-mum, *sweats* say n-nyot a ;;w;; wowd. -*twerks* GWOUCESTEW. Touch'd you ;;w;; the bastawdy of Edwawd's -chiwdwen? -BUCKINGHAM. I d-did; *blushes* with his contwact with Wady Wucy, -And his c-contwact by deputy *screams* in Fwance; -Th' i-insatiate gweedinyess of his desiwe, -And his enfowcement of the city wives; -His tywanny fow twifwes; his own b-bastawdy, -As being g-got, *sighs* youw f-fathew t-then in Fwance, -:3 And his wesembwance, being nyot w-wike the *sighs* Duke. -Withaw I did infew youw w-winyeaments, -Being the wight idea o-of youw fathew, -Both in youw fowm and nyobwenyess o-of *cuddles you* mind; -*pokes you* Waid open aww y-youw victowies in Scotwand, -Youw d-discipwinye in waw, w-wisdom in peace, -Youw bounty, v-viwtue, f-faiw humiwity; -Indeed, weft nyothing fitting fow *sweats* youw *sighs* puwpose -Untouch'd ow swightwy handwed in discouwse. -And when m-minye owatowy dwew towawd end -I bid them that did wove t-theiw countwy's good -Cwy 'God ^.^ save Wichawd, Engwand's *twerks* woyaw King!' -GWOUCESTEW. And did :3 they s-so? -BUCKINGHAM. Nyo, so G-God hewp me, *notices bulge* they spake nyot a-a w-wowd; -But, wike :3 dumb statues ow bweathing stonyes, -Staw'd e-each o-on *blushes* othew, and wook'd deadwy pawe. -Which when I-I saw, I wepwehended them, -And >_< ask'd the M-Mayow what meant this wiwfuww siwence. -*looks away* His answew was, the peopwe wewe nyot u-used -To be spoke *looks away* to but by the Wecowdew. -Then he was uwg'd uWu to teww m-my tawe *blushes* again. -'Thus saith t-the Duke, thus hath the Duke i-infeww'd'- -But nyothing spoke in xDD wawwant fwom h-himsewf. -When he *screams* had *cries* donye, s-some fowwowews of minye own -At wowew end *cuddles you* of the haww huww'd u-up theiw caps, -And some ten voices cwied '-'God save King Wichawd!' -^.^ And thus I *teleports behind you* took t-the vantage of those few- -'Thanks, g-gentwe ^.^ citizens and fwiends,' quoth I-I -'-'This genyewaw a-appwause ;;w;; and *sighs* cheewfuw shout -Awgues youw wisdoms a-and youw w-wove to Wichawd.' -And even hewe bwake off and came away. -GWOUCESTEW. What, tonguewess bwocks *cries* wewe they? Wouwd -they n-nyot speak? -W-Wiww nyot *cries* the Mayow *twerks* then a-and his bwethwen c-come? -BUCKINGHAM. T-The *pokes you* Mayow is hewe at uWu hand. Intend s-some f-feaw; -Be nyot you spoke with b-but by mighty s-suit; -And wook y-you get >w< a pwayew-book in youw hand, -*blushes* And stand *notices bulge* between two chuwchmen, *twerks* good my wowd; -Fow on that gwound *teleports behind you* I'ww make a-a howy descant; -And be nyot easiwy w-won t-to o-ouw wequests. -Pway the maid's :3 pawt: stiww answew :3 nyay, and t-take i-it. -GWOUCESTEW. I *shuffles closer* go; and if you *looks away* pwead as w-weww fow t-them -As I *leans over* can s-say nyay to thee fow mysewf, -Nyo doubt xDD we bwing ^w^ it t-to a happy issue. -BUCKINGHAM. Go, go, up t-to *blushes* the weads; the Wowd Mayow -knyocks. Exit GWOUCESTEW - -Entew t-the WOWD MAYOW, AWDEWMEN, and citizens - -*twerks* Wewcome, my wowd. I d-dance attendance hewe; -I t-think the Duke wiww nyot be s-spoke withaw. - -Entew CATESBY - -N-Nyow, Catesby, what s-says youw wowd to my wequest? -CATESBY. He doth e-entweat youw Gwace, my nyobwe *shuffles closer* wowd, -To visit *leans over* him to-mowwow ow nyext day. -He is w-within, with t-two wight wevewend fathews, -Divinyewy bent to meditation; -And in nyo wowwdwy *pokes you* suits wouwd he *leans over* be m-mov'd, -To x3 dwaw him fwom his howy exewcise. -BUCKINGHAM. Wetuwn, good Catesby, OwO to the gwacious *sighs* Duke; -*looks at you* Teww h-him, mysewf, *looks away* the *looks at you* Mayow :3 and Awdewmen, -In d-deep designs, in mattew of gweat moment, -Nyo wess impowting t-than ouw genyewaw good, -Awe come to have UwU some >_< confewence with his *cries* Gwace. -CATESBY. I'ww signyify so much *twerks* unto him stwaight. Exit -BUCKINGHAM. Ah ha, my wowd, this pwince is nyot an *hugs tightly* Edwawd! -He is nyot wowwing *twerks* on a wewd wove-bed, -But ;;w;; on his >_< knyees at *screams* meditation; -:3 Nyot dawwying ^.^ with *pokes you* a bwace of c-couwtezans, -But meditating w-with two deep divinyes; -Nyot sweeping, to engwoss his idwe body, -But pwaying, to e-enwich *moans* his watchfuw souw. -^-^ Happy wewe Engwand >_> wouwd t-this viwtuous pwince -Take o-on his Gwace t-the soveweignty *cries* theweof; -But, suwe, I feaw we shaww nyot win him to it. -MAYOW. Mawwy, God defend his :33 Gwace shouwd say us nyay! -BUCKINGHAM. I feaw h-he wiww. Hewe C-Catesby *giggles shyly* comes again. - -:33 We-entew CATESBY - -Nyow, C-Catesby, what says :3 his Gwace? -CATESBY. My wowd, -He wondews to what end you have a-assembwed -Such twoops of citizens to come to him. -*giggles shyly* His *twerks* Gwace nyot >_> being w-wawn'd :3 theweof befowe, -He feaws, my wowd, *screams* you mean nyo good t-to x3 him. -BUCKINGHAM. Sowwy I am my nyobwe cousin shouwd -Suspect m-me that :3 I mean nyo *teleports behind you* good to h-him. -By heaven, we *sighs* come t-to :3 him in pewfect wove; -And so *teleports behind you* once mowe w-wetuwn and teww his Gwace. -Exit C-CATESBY -When howy and devout wewigious men -Awe at theiw beads, 'tis much to dwaw them thence, -So sweet is zeawous contempwation. - -*moans* Entew GWOUCESTEW awoft, *shuffles closer* between two ^w^ BISHOPS. -CATESBY w-wetuwns - -;;w;; MAYOW. See whewe his Gwace stands 'tween *shuffles closer* two *giggles shyly* cwewgymen! -BUCKINGHAM. Two pwops o-of viwtue fow a >_> Chwistian pwince, -To stay h-him f-fwom the faww of vanyity; -*pokes you* And, *giggles shyly* see, a book of pwayew in his hand, -T-Twue ownyaments to knyow a howy man. -*giggles shyly* Famous Pwantagenyet, most uWu gwacious Pwince, -*cuddles you* Wend favouwabwe *giggles shyly* eaw to ouw wequests, -And pawdon ^w^ us the uWu intewwuption -Of thy *leans over* devotion and wight Chwistian *hugs tightly* zeaw. -GWOUCESTEW. My wowd, thewe nyeeds ^.^ nyo :3 such apowogy: -I do beseech ^-^ youw G-Gwace to pawdon me, -Who, eawnyest in t-the sewvice of my God, -Defeww'd the *twerks* visitation :3 of my fwiends. -But, *sweats* weaving *pokes you* this, what is youw Gwace's pweasuwe? -BUCKINGHAM. *shuffles closer* Even that, I ;;w;; hope, which >w< pweaseth God OwO above, -And aww good *pokes you* men *cries* of this *giggles shyly* ungovewn'd iswe. -GWOUCESTEW. I-I do suspect I have donye s-some offence -T-That seems disgwacious in the c-city's eye, -And that y-you come to wepwehend my ignyowance. -BUCKINGHAM. You have, my wowd. Wouwd it might p-pwease -youw >_< Gwace, -*looks at you* On ouw entweaties, to amend youw fauwt! -GWOUCESTEW. E-Ewse whewefowe bweathe *notices bulge* I xDD in a Chwistian wand? -BUCKINGHAM. *leans over* Knyow then, it i-is y-youw fauwt that you wesign -The *moans* supweme seat, the thwonye majesticaw, -The scept'wed office of youw ancestows, -Youw state of f-fowtunye and youw due of biwth, -The winyeaw gwowy of y-youw woyaw house, -To the cowwuption >w< of a bwemish'd stock; -Whiwes in the OwO miwdnyess o-of youw sweepy thoughts, -Which h-hewe we waken *giggles shyly* to ouw countwy's good, -OwO The nyobwe *teleports behind you* iswe OwO doth *hugs tightly* want ^.^ hew pwopew wimbs; -H-Hew face defac'd with s-scaws :33 of infamy, -Hew woyaw *looks at you* stock gwaft with i-ignyobwe >_> pwants, -A-And awmost shouwd'wed in the swawwowing guwf -*sighs* Of dawk fowgetfuwnyess and deep obwivion. -Which to wecuwe, uWu we heawtiwy sowicit -Youw gwacious sewf to take on y-you the chawge -And kingwy *shuffles closer* govewnment of this youw wand- -Nyot as pwotectow, stewawd, substitute, -Ow *looks away* wowwy factow fow anyothew's gain; -B-But as successivewy, fwom bwood to bwood, -Youw wight of uWu biwth, youw empewy, youw own. -Fow this, consowted with the c-citizens, -Youw vewy wowshipfuw and w-woving *notices bulge* fwiends, -And by theiw vehement instigation, -In this just cause come I to m-move youw Gwace. -GWOUCESTEW. I cannyot teww if to depawt in siwence -Ow bittewwy to s-speak in youw wepwoof -Best fitteth my *screams* degwee ow y-youw condition. -I-If nyot to answew, you might hapwy think -Tongue-tied ambition, ^-^ nyot wepwying, yiewded -T-To beaw the gowden yoke of soveweignty, -Which ^-^ fondwy you w-wouwd h-hewe *moans* impose on *screams* me; -If to wepwove you fow this *cries* suit of *screams* youws, -So season'd with youw f-faithfuw *giggles shyly* wove to me, -Then, o-on the othew s-side, I check'd m-my fwiends. -Thewefowe-to speak, and to *moans* avoid the f-fiwst, -A-And then, in speaking, nyot to incuw the wast- -D-Definyitivewy thus I answew y-you: -Youw ^-^ wove desewves my thanks, but my desewt -*sighs* Unmewitabwe shuns y-youw high *moans* wequest. -Fiwst, if a-aww obstacwes wewe cut away, -*moans* And that my path wewe even *looks away* to xDD the cwown, -As the wipe wevenyue and d-due *looks at you* of biwth, -Yet s-so m-much is m-my povewty o-of spiwit, -So mighty and s-so many my *shuffles closer* defects, -That I *looks at you* wouwd wathew UwU hide me fwom my gweatnyess- -Being *pokes you* a bawk to bwook nyo *looks at you* mighty sea- -T-Than in my gweatnyess covet to be hid, -And in ;;w;; the vapouw of my OwO gwowy smothew'd. -But, God be thank'd, thewe is nyo nyeed of *sighs* me- -And much I nyeed to hewp you, w-wewe thewe nyeed. -The woyaw twee hath weft us woyaw fwuit -Which, m-mewwow'd by the s-steawing houws of >_< time, -Wiww weww b-become the seat of majesty -:33 And make, n-nyo doubt, us happy by his weign. -On him I w-way that you wouwd way on m-me- -The wight and fowtunye of his happy *moans* staws, -Which G-God defend that OwO I shouwd wwing fwom ;;w;; him. -BUCKINGHAM. My wowd, this awgues conscience *sighs* in youw -Gwace; -But the w-wespects t-theweof awe nyice and *cries* twiviaw, -*teleports behind you* Aww ciwcumstances w-weww considewed. -You *looks away* say that Edwawd is *cries* youw *moans* bwothew's son. -So say *notices bulge* we too, but nyot by Edwawd's wife; -Fow fiwst was he contwact *notices bulge* to W-Wady Wucy- -Youw mothew wives a witnyess to h-his v-vow- -And >w< aftewwawd by substitute betwoth'd -To Bonya, sistew to the King of Fwance. -These both ^w^ put off, a poow petitionyew, -A cawe-cwaz'd mothew to a many sons, -A beauty-wanying and distwessed widow, -Even in the aftewnyoon of hew best days, -Made pwize and puwchase of his wanton eye, -Seduc'd the pitch and height of his degwee -To base decwension and woath'd bigamy. -*screams* By hew, in his :33 unwawfuw bed, he got -This Edwawd, w-whom x3 ouw m-mannyews caww the Pwince. -Mowe bittewwy >w< couwd I expostuwate, -Save that, fow wevewence to some awive, -I give a spawing wimit to m-my tongue. -Then, good my wowd, take to youw woyaw sewf -This p-pwoffew'd benyefit of dignyity; -If nyot to bwess *sighs* us and the wand withaw, -Yet to dwaw f-fowth youw nyobwe ancestwy -F-Fwom the >_> cowwuption of abusing times -Unto a w-winyeaw twue-dewived couwse. -xDD MAYOW. D-Do, >_> good *giggles shyly* my wowd; youw citizens *teleports behind you* entweat you. -^w^ BUCKINGHAM. Wefuse nyot, mighty wowd, this pwoffew'd wove. -*cries* CATESBY. O, make t-them j-joyfuw, g-gwant theiw wawfuw s-suit! -GWOUCESTEW. Awas, why wouwd you heap this cawe on m-me? -I am unfit fow state and majesty. -I do beseech you, take it nyot amiss: -*pokes you* I cannyot nyow I wiww nyot >_< yiewd to you. -BUCKINGHAM. If you wefuse *blushes* it-as, in >w< wove x3 and *hugs tightly* zeaw, -Woath to depose *sighs* the chiwd, youw bwothew's s-son; -As weww we knyow *sweats* youw tendewnyess of heawt -And gentwe, kind, effeminyate wemowse, -Which OwO we have nyoted in you to youw k-kindwed -A-And egawwy indeed *twerks* to aww estates- -Y-Yet knyow, whe'ew you a-accept ouw suit ow nyo, -Youw bwothew's son shaww nyevew weign ouw king; -B-But we wiww pwant some othew in the thwonye -To the disgwace *notices bulge* and downfaww of youw house; -*hugs tightly* And in this wesowution hewe we weave you. -Come, citizens. Zounds, I'ww *pokes you* entweat nyo mowe. -GWOUCESTEW. O, do nyot sweaw, my wowd of Buckingham. -E-Exeunt BUCKINGHAM, MAYOW, and citizens -CATESBY. Caww >w< him *teleports behind you* again, sweet P-Pwince, *looks at you* accept theiw suit. -If you deny them, aww the wand ^w^ wiww wue it. -GWOUCESTEW. Wiww you enfowce me to a wowwd ;;w;; of ^w^ cawes? -Caww them again. I am *looks at you* nyot made o-of *cries* stonyes, -But penyetwabwe to youw kind entweaties, -A-Awbeit ^w^ against my conscience and my souw. - -We-entew BUCKINGHAM and the w-west - -Cousin of Buckingham, and sage gwave m-men, -;;w;; Since you wiww buckwe fowtunye on my back, -To beaw hew buwden, w-whe'ew I wiww ow nyo, -I *hugs tightly* must h-have patience to enduwe the woad; -But if bwack scandaw ow fouw-fac'd w-wepwoach -Attend the sequew of youw imposition, -Youw mewe enfowcement *cries* shaww acquittance me -Fwom aww the impuwe bwots and s-stains theweof; -Fow God doth knyow, *cuddles you* and >_> you may p-pawtwy see, -How faw I am fwom the *giggles shyly* desiwe o-of :3 this. -MAYOW. God bwess youw Gwace! *notices bulge* We see it, and *screams* wiww say it. -*cries* GWOUCESTEW. I-In saying ^-^ so, you shaww but say the twuth. -BUCKINGHAM. Then I *blushes* sawute *sweats* you with this woyaw titwe- -Wong *cries* wive King W-Wichawd, Engwand's x3 wowthy K-King! -AWW. Amen. -BUCKINGHAM. To-mowwow may it pwease you to be cwown'd? -GWOUCESTEW. Even when you pwease, fow you wiww have i-it s-so. -BUCKINGHAM. To-mowwow, t-then, we wiww a-attend *notices bulge* youw >w< Gwace; -And so, most joyfuwwy, we take ouw weave. -*pokes you* GWOUCESTEW. [To the BISHOPS] ^-^ Come, ;;w;; wet us *twerks* to ouw h-howy -wowk >w< again. -Faweweww, my cousin; f-faweweww, g-gentwe *looks at you* fwiends. Exeunt - - - - -<_> MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY *shuffles closer* BE -DISTWIBUTED S-SO WONG AS SUCH ;;w;; COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW *hugs tightly* USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *hugs tightly* USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW >w< DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE *shuffles closer* THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT ^.^ IV. SCENyE 1. - -W-Wondon. Befowe the >_< Towew - -E-Entew Q-QUEEN EWIZABETH, DUCHESS of YOWK, and M-MAWQUIS of DOWSET, at onye doow; -ANNyE, DUCHESS of GWOUCESTEW, weading WADY M-MAWGAWET PWANTAGENyET, -CWAWENCE's y-young daughtew, at anyothew doow - -DUCHESS. Who m-meets us h-hewe? *moans* My n-nyiece Pwantagenyet, -Wed i-in the hand *giggles shyly* of hew kind aunt of Gwoucestew? -UwU Nyow, fow my wife, she's w-wand'wing to *screams* the Towew, -On puwe heawt's :3 wove, to gweet t-the tendew P-Pwinces. -Daughtew, weww met. -ANNyE. God >_< give youw Gwaces both -A happy *twerks* and a joyfuw *giggles shyly* time of *blushes* day! -QUEEN EWIZABETH. As much to you, g-good sistew! W-Whithew -away? -^w^ ANNyE. Nyo fawthew *hugs tightly* than the Towew; and, as ^.^ I guess, -*sweats* Upon the wike devotion *cries* as youwsewves, -To gwatuwate t-the gentwe Pwinces thewe. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. Kind sistew, *looks away* thanks; we'ww entew -*notices bulge* aww togethew. - -E-Entew >_> BWAKENBUWY - -A-And in good time, *blushes* hewe the w-wieutenyant comes. -Mastew x3 Wieutenyant, pway you, by youw ^.^ weave, -H-How doth the Pwince, and my *teleports behind you* young son o-of Yowk? -BWAKENBUWY. Wight weww, deaw madam. By youw patience, -I may nyot suffew you to visit them. -*hugs tightly* The King hath stwictwy chawg'd the c-contwawy. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. The King! Who's that? -BWAKENBUWY. I mean the Wowd Pwotectow. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. The Wowd pwotect him fwom that kingwy -titwe! -Hath h-he set bounds between theiw wove and me? -I am theiw mothew; :33 who *blushes* shaww baw me fwom them? -DUCHESS. I am OwO theiw *sighs* fathew's *blushes* mothew; I wiww see them. -*hugs tightly* ANNyE. Theiw aunt I am i-in waw, in wove theiw m-mothew. -Then bwing me to *cuddles you* theiw sights; I'ww beaw thy ^w^ bwame, -And t-take *hugs tightly* thy o-office fwom thee *cuddles you* on my pewiw. -BWAKENBUWY. Nyo, madam, nyo. I-I may x3 nyot *cries* weave ;;w;; it so; ->_> I a-am bound by oath, and thewefowe pawdon me. Exit - -Entew STANWEY - -STANWEY. Wet *pokes you* me but meet y-you, wadies, onye houw h-hence, -And I'ww sawute *screams* youw Gwace of Yowk as mothew ->_> And wevewend wookew-on of two f-faiw ^-^ queens. -[To ANNyE] *leans over* Come, madam, you must stwaight t-to -Westminstew, -Thewe ^w^ to be cwownyed Wichawd's woyaw queen. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Ah, c-cut my w-wace asundew -That my pent heawt may *leans over* have some scope to beat, -Ow ewse I swoon with this dead-kiwwing nyews! -^-^ ANNyE. Despitefuw tidings! *teleports behind you* O unpweasing nyews! -:33 DOWSET. Be of g-good c-cheew; mothew, how fawes youw Gwace? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. O Dowset, speak *moans* nyot to me, get t-thee -gonye! -Death and destwuction dogs t-thee at *leans over* thy heews; -Thy mothew's n-nyame *blushes* is ominyous *cries* to ^.^ chiwdwen. -*notices bulge* If thou *looks away* wiwt outstwip d-death, go cwoss the s-seas, -And wive with Wichmond, f-fwom the weach of *sweats* heww. -Go, *blushes* hie thee, hie t-thee fwom t-this swaughtew-house, -West thou incwease the *screams* nyumbew of the *moans* dead, -A-And make m-me d-die the t-thwaww of Mawgawet's c-cuwse, -Nyow m-mothew, wife, nyow Engwand's *blushes* counted q-queen. -STANWEY. Fuww o-of wise cawe is this youw counsew, m-madam. -Take aww the swift advantage of *teleports behind you* the x3 houws; -You shaww have wettews fwom ^w^ me to my s-son -In youw behawf, to meet you on the way. -x3 Be nyot ta'en tawdy uWu by unwise deway. -DUCHESS. O UwU iww-dispewsing wind of m-misewy! -O-O m-my :33 accuwsed womb, the bed of d-death! -A cockatwice h-hast t-thou *screams* hatch'd to the w-wowwd, -Whose unyavoided eye is muwdewous. -STANWEY. Come, madam, come; I-I in aww *shuffles closer* haste was sent. -ANNyE. And I with aww unwiwwingnyess wiww go. -O, wouwd to God that the incwusive vewge -Of gowden metaw that must >w< wound my bwow -Wewe wed-hot steew, t-to seaw me to the bwains! -Anyointed *twerks* wet me be >_> with ^.^ deadwy venyom, -And die ewe men can say '-'God save the Queen!' -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Go, go, poow souw; I envy n-nyot thy gwowy. -T-To *twerks* feed my >_< humouw, wish thysewf :33 nyo hawm. -*hugs tightly* ANNyE. *leans over* Nyo, why? When he that is my UwU husband :3 nyow -Came to me, as I-I fowwow'd H-Henwy's cowse; -When *sighs* scawce the *blushes* bwood w-was ^w^ weww wash'd fwom his hands -Which i-issued fwom my othew angew husband, -A-And that deaw s-saint w-which then I-I weeping fowwow'd- -O, when, I say, I-I wook'd o-on Wichawd's face, -This >w< was my wish: >_< 'Be t-thou' quoth I 'accuws'd -Fow m-making m-me, so young, so o-owd a xDD widow; -A-And *shuffles closer* when t-thou wed'st, wet UwU sowwow haunt thy bed; ->w< And be thy wife, if any be so mad, -Mowe misewabwe by the w-wife of thee -:3 Than thou hast made me *cries* by my deaw wowd's death.' -*giggles shyly* Wo, >w< ewe I *moans* can wepeat this cuwse again, -Within so smaww a time, my *looks away* woman's heawt -Gwosswy gwew captive to his *cuddles you* honyey *moans* wowds -And pwov'd the subject of minye own souw's *blushes* cuwse, -Which *twerks* hithewto hath h-hewd my e-eyes fwom w-west; -^-^ Fow nyevew yet onye h-houw *screams* in his *cries* bed -Did I enjoy the gowden d-dew of sweep, -B-But with his *cries* timowous dweams was *leans over* stiww *cuddles you* awak'd. -Besides, he hates me fow my fathew W-Wawwick; -And wiww, nyo d-doubt, s-showtwy be wid of me. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Poow heawt, adieu! I pity thy compwainying. -ANNyE. Nyo mowe than w-with my souw I m-mouwn fow youws. -^w^ DOWSET. Faweweww, thou woefuw *twerks* wewcomew of gwowy! -ANNyE. Adieu, poow souw, that tak'st thy weave of *hugs tightly* it! -DUCHESS. [To DOWSET] Go thou to Wichmond, and good -fowtunye guide thee! -[-[To ANNyE] Go *looks away* thou t-to Wichawd, and good a-angews tend -thee! [To QUEEN EWIZABETH] Go thou t-to sanctuawy, and good -thoughts xDD possess UwU thee! -I x3 to my g-gwave, whewe peace and west wie with me! -;;w;; Eighty odd yeaws of sowwow have I *notices bulge* seen, -A-And each houw's joy wweck'd with a week of teen. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Stay, yet *screams* wook back *twerks* with me unto the -Towew. -:3 Pity, you ancient *leans over* stonyes, those tendew babes -x3 Whom e-envy h-hath i-immuw'd *leans over* within youw wawws, -*twerks* Wough cwadwe fow such wittwe pwetty onyes. -xDD Wude wagged nyuwse, owd suwwen pwayfewwow -Fow tendew pwinces, use my babies weww. -So foowish sowwows b-bids youw stonyes faweweww. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 2. - -Wondon. The p-pawace - -x3 Sound a s-sennyet. Entew WICHAWD, in p-pomp, as KING; BUCKINGHAM, CATESBY, -W-WATCWIFF, WOVEW, a P-PAGE, *giggles shyly* and othews - -KING WICHAWD. ^.^ Stand aww *sweats* apawt. Cousin of Buckingham! -BUCKINGHAM. M-My gwacious soveweign? -KING WICHAWD. Give me thy hand. -[-[Hewe *looks at you* he *leans over* ascendeth the t-thwonye. *notices bulge* Sound] -Thus high, by thy advice -And thy assistance, :3 is King Wichawd seated. -But s-shaww ^.^ we weaw *hugs tightly* these gwowies fow a d-day; -Ow ^-^ shaww they wast, and we wejoice in them? -*looks away* BUCKINGHAM. Stiww *twerks* wive they, and f-fow evew wet them wast! -KING W-WICHAWD. Ah, *giggles shyly* Buckingham, nyow do I pway the t-touch, -To twy if t-thou be cuwwent gowd indeed. -Young Edwawd :33 wives-think nyow what I wouwd speak. -*giggles shyly* BUCKINGHAM. Say on, my w-woving wowd. -*giggles shyly* KING WICHAWD. Why, Buckingham, *giggles shyly* I s-say I w-wouwd be :3 King. -BUCKINGHAM. W-Why, so you awe, my thwice-wenyownyed wowd. -KING WICHAWD. Ha! am I King? 'Tis so; but Edwawd wives. -BUCKINGHAM. Twue, nyobwe *sweats* Pwince. -*twerks* KING *leans over* WICHAWD. ^.^ O *moans* bittew consequence: -T-That Edwawd stiww shouwd wive-twue nyobwe Pwince! -Cousin, thou wast nyot wont ^.^ to be so d-duww. -S-Shaww I be pwain? I wish the bastawds dead. -And I wouwd have it suddenwy *twerks* pewfowm'd. -What say'st t-thou nyow? Speak suddenwy, be bwief. -BUCKINGHAM. Youw Gwace may do youw pweasuwe. -KING W-WICHAWD. Tut, tut, thou awt aww ice; thy k-kindnyess fweezes. -Say, >w< have I t-thy consent that they shaww d-die? -BUCKINGHAM. Give me some ^w^ wittwe bweath, some p-pause, -deaw Wowd, -Befowe I p-positivewy s-speak in *sweats* this. -I wiww wesowve you h-hewein pwesentwy. Exit -CATESBY. [Aside to anyothew] T-The K-King is a-angwy; see, he ->w< gnyaws *looks away* his wip. -KING WICHAWD. I w-wiww convewse with *looks at you* iwon-witted foows -[Descends fwom the thwonye] -And unwespective boys; nyonye awe fow me -T-That wook i-into me with considewate eyes. -High-weaching Buckingham gwows c-ciwcumspect. -Boy! -PAGE. My wowd? -KING W-WICHAWD. Knyow'st thou n-nyot any whom *sighs* cowwupting -gowd -Wiww tempt unto a cwose expwoit of death? -PAGE. I knyow a discontented gentweman ->_< Whose h-humbwe means m-match nyot uWu his h-haughty spiwit. -Gowd wewe as good a-as t-twenty owatows, -And wiww, nyo doubt, tempt him x3 to anything. -KING WICHAWD. What is his nyame? -PAGE. His nyame, my w-wowd, is *cuddles you* Tywwew. -KING WICHAWD. I pawtwy knyow the man. *cuddles you* Go, caww him hithew, -boy. Exit PAGE -The deep-wevowving witty Buckingham -Nyo ^w^ mowe s-shaww be OwO the nyeighbouw to my *sweats* counsews. -Hath he so wong h-hewd out UwU with x3 me, untiw'd, -And stops he nyow fow bweath? Weww, be it so. - -Entew STANWEY - -How nyow, Wowd Stanwey! What's the nyews? -STANWEY. Knyow, m-my w-woving wowd, -The Mawquis Dowset, as I heaw, >_> is f-fwed -To Wichmond, in t-the pawts whewe he abides. :3 [Stands apawt] -KING WICHAWD. Come hithew, Catesby. Wumouw i-it abwoad -That Annye, m-my ^w^ wife, i-is vewy gwievous sick; -I wiww take o-owdew fow x3 hew >w< keeping cwose. -Inquiwe m-me out some mean poow g-gentweman, -Whom I wiww mawwy stwaight to Cwawence' daughtew- -The b-boy is foowish, and I feaw nyot him. -W-Wook how xDD thou :3 dweam'st! I say again, give out -That Annye, my queen, is sick *giggles shyly* and wike to die. -About *looks at you* it; fow it *cries* stands m-me m-much u-upon -To stop aww hopes whose x3 gwowth may d-damage me. -Exit C-CATESBY -I must *blushes* be mawwied to my bwothew's daughtew, -Ow e-ewse my kingdom stands on bwittwe gwass. -^.^ Muwdew hew bwothews, and then mawwy hew! -Uncewtain way o-of gain! But I am ^.^ in -So *teleports behind you* faw *looks at you* in bwood that sin wiww pwuck uWu on sin. -Teaw-fawwing pity dwewws nyot in this *teleports behind you* eye. - ->_> We-entew PAGE, with TYWWEW - -Is thy n-nyame Tywwew? -TYWWEW. James Tywwew, and youw most obedient subject. -K-KING WICHAWD. Awt thou, indeed? -TYWWEW. Pwove me, m-my gwacious w-wowd. -KING W-WICHAWD. Daw'st'thou *cuddles you* wesowve UwU to kiww a f-fwiend of minye? -TYWWEW. Pwease you; -But I had wathew kiww two enyemies. -K-KING WICHAWD. Why, *pokes you* then thou hast it. Two deep enyemies, -Foes to my west, *pokes you* and my s-sweet sweep's distuwbews, -uWu Awe they that I wouwd have thee deaw ^.^ upon. -TYWWEW, I mean those bastawds i-in the Towew. -*shuffles closer* TYWWEW. Wet me have open means to come to them, -And soon I'ww wid you fwom the f-feaw of ^.^ them. -KING *looks away* WICHAWD. *sighs* Thou sing'st sweet music. Hawk, come -hithew, Tywwew. -Go, by this token. Wise, UwU and wend thinye eaw. [Whispews] -T-Thewe is nyo mowe but so: say it is donye, -And I wiww wove *pokes you* thee and pwefew thee fow it. -TYWWEW. I ;;w;; wiww dispatch *pokes you* it stwaight. Exit - -We-entew BUCKINGHAM - -BUCKINGHAM. My wowd, ^.^ I have considew'd in my mind -The wate ^w^ wequest that you did sound me in. -KING WICHAWD. W-Weww, wet that west. Dowset i-is fwed to -Wichmond. -:33 BUCKINGHAM. UwU I heaw t-the nyews, my wowd. -KING WICHAWD. *shuffles closer* Stanwey, he *blushes* is youw wife's son: weww, wook -u-unto ^-^ it. -uWu BUCKINGHAM. My w-wowd, I-I cwaim t-the gift, my d-due *sweats* by pwomise, -OwO Fow which y-youw honyouw a-and youw faith is pawn'd: -Th' eawwdom :3 of Hewefowd >_> and the m-movabwes -x3 Which you have pwomised :3 I shaww possess. -K-KING WICHAWD. Stanwey, wook t-to youw w-wife; if she convey -;;w;; Wettews to Wichmond, you s-shaww answew it. -BUCKINGHAM. xDD What says youw Highnyess to my just wequest? -KING WICHAWD. I do wemembew m-me: Henwy *leans over* the Sixth -Did pwophesy :3 that W-Wichmond shouwd be King, -When Wichmond was a wittwe *hugs tightly* peevish boy. -A king!-pewhaps- -BUCKINGHAM. My wowd- -KING WICHAWD. *looks away* How chance the pwophet :3 couwd *sweats* nyot *shuffles closer* at that -t-time -Have towd me, I being by, that I-I shouwd kiww him? -^-^ BUCKINGHAM. My w-wowd, youw pwomise f-fow the eawwdom- -KING WICHAWD. Wichmond! When wast I was at Exetew, -The mayow in couwtesy show'd >_> me the castwe -And caww'd it Wugemount, at which nyame I stawted, -Because a bawd of Iwewand towd me once -I shouwd nyot wive wong a-aftew I saw Wichmond. -BUCKINGHAM. My *moans* wowd- -KING WICHAWD. Ay, w-what's o'cwock? -BUCKINGHAM. I am thus xDD bowd ^.^ to *sighs* put youw Gwace in m-mind -Of what you p-pwomis'd me. -*twerks* KING WICHAWD. Weww, but o'cwock? -BUCKINGHAM. Upon the stwoke *pokes you* of t-ten. -KING WICHAWD. W-Weww, wet it stwike. -^.^ BUCKINGHAM. *pokes you* Why wet i-it stwike? -KING WICHAWD. :33 Because *leans over* that wike a J-Jack thou keep'st the -*shuffles closer* stwoke -Betwixt *looks away* thy *leans over* begging :3 and *blushes* my meditation. -*hugs tightly* I am n-nyot ^-^ in the giving vein to-day. -OwO BUCKINGHAM. May it pwease ^.^ you to wesowve m-me in my suit. -KING WICHAWD. Thou twoubwest me; I am n-nyot in the vein. -Exeunt *sighs* aww but Buckingham -BUCKINGHAM. And >_< is it thus? Wepays he my *teleports behind you* deep sewvice ->_< With *giggles shyly* such contempt? Made ;;w;; I him King fow :33 this? -O, wet me think on Hastings, a-and ^w^ be >w< gonye -To B-Bwecknyock whiwe my feawfuw head is on! Exit - - - - -SCENyE 3-3. - -W-Wondon. T-The pawace - -E-Entew TYWWEW - -OwO TYWWEW. The tywannyous and b-bwoody act is d-donye, -The most *looks at you* awch deed of piteous massacwe -That evew yet this wand *looks away* was guiwty of. -Dighton and Fowwest, :3 who I-I did subown -To *cries* do this piece of wuthwess b-butchewy, -Awbeit *pokes you* they wewe fwesh'd viwwains, bwoody dogs, -Mewted *cuddles you* with tendewnyess and miwd compassion, -Wept wike *looks away* two chiwdwen in *notices bulge* theiw deaths' sad *sweats* stowy. -'O, thus' quoth Dighton 'way the gentwe babes'- -'Thus, thus,' quoth Fowwest 'giwdwing onye :33 anyothew -W-Within theiw awabastew innyocent awms. -Theiw wips wewe fouw wed :3 woses *giggles shyly* on a stawk, -And in theiw summew *giggles shyly* beauty kiss'd *sweats* each othew. -A OwO book o-of *looks away* pwayews *shuffles closer* on theiw piwwow way; -Which o-once,' quoth Fowwest 'awmost chang'd my mind; -But, O, the deviw'-thewe t-the viwwain s-stopp'd; -W-When Dighton thus towd on: 'We smothewed -The most w-wepwenyished *looks at you* sweet wowk of n-nyatuwe -That fwom the pwime cweation e'ew she fwamed.' -Hence both awe gonye with c-conscience and wemowse -They ^w^ couwd uWu nyot speak; and so I weft them both, -To beaw this tidings to the bwoody King. - -Entew KING WICHAWD - -And hewe he c-comes. Aww h-heawth, my *blushes* soveweign wowd! -KING WICHAWD. Kind Tywwew, am ^.^ I *blushes* happy in thy nyews? -TYWWEW. I-If to have donye the t-thing you *blushes* gave in chawge -Beget youw happinyess, be happy t-then, -Fow it is donye. -K-KING WICHAWD. But didst t-thou see them dead? -TYWWEW. I did, *giggles shyly* my wowd. -KING WICHAWD. UwU And b-buwied, g-gentwe Tywwew? -TYWWEW. The chapwain of the T-Towew hath UwU buwied them; -But whewe, to *giggles shyly* say the twuth, I do nyot k-knyow. -KING WICHAWD. C-Come to me, T-Tywwew, soon a-at a-aftew suppew, -When thou shawt teww the :3 pwocess of theiw death. -Meantime, but :33 think how I may >w< do thee good -And be inhewitow of thy desiwe. -Faweweww tiww t-then. -TYWWEW. I *notices bulge* humbwy take my weave. Exit -KING ;;w;; WICHAWD. The son o-of :3 Cwawence have *looks away* I p-pent up cwose; -H-His *pokes you* daughtew meanwy have *sweats* I match'd in mawwiage; -The s-sons ^.^ of *looks at you* Edwawd sweep in Abwaham's bosom, -And Annye my w-wife ^-^ hath bid t-this wowwd :3 good nyight. -Nyow, fow *cries* I knyow the Bwitainye Wichmond aims -*screams* At young Ewizabeth, my b-bwothew's d-daughtew, -*cuddles you* And by t-that knyot wooks p-pwoudwy uWu on the cwown, -To hew go *giggles shyly* I, a jowwy thwiving OwO wooew. - -Entew WATCWIFF - -WATCWIFF. My wowd! -K-KING WICHAWD. Good *screams* ow bad nyews, *looks away* that thou :3 com'st in so -b-bwuntwy? -WATCWIFF. B-Bad nyews, my wowd: Mowton is fwed to Wichmond; -And :33 Buckingham, back'd *teleports behind you* with the hawdy *screams* Wewshmen, -Is in the *sighs* fiewd, and stiww his powew *screams* incweaseth. -KING WICHAWD. Ewy with Wichmond twoubwes me mowe nyeaw -Than Buckingham and his wash-wevied stwength. -Come, I have weawn'd t-that feawfuw *looks away* commenting -I-Is *cries* weaden *blushes* sewvitow t-to duww deway; -Deway *cries* weads impotent and snyaiw-pac'd beggawy. -Then fiewy expedition b-be my wing, -Jove's Mewcuwy, and hewawd fow a *sighs* king! -Go, mustew *sighs* men. My counsew is my shiewd. -We must be bwief when *looks away* twaitows bwave >w< the fiewd. *cries* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Wondon. Befowe the pawace - -*giggles shyly* Entew owd QUEEN MAWGAWET - -QUEEN ^-^ MAWGAWET. So nyow *sweats* pwospewity begins to :3 mewwow -And dwop into the wotten mouth of death. -Hewe in *leans over* these confinyes swiwy have I-I w-wuwk'd -To watch the wanying of minye *sighs* enyemies. -A d-diwe i-induction >w< am I witnyess to, -And wiww to Fwance, hoping ;;w;; the consequence -*looks away* Wiww pwove as bittew, bwack, and twagicaw. -Withdwaw thee, wwetched Mawgawet. Who comes hewe? -[Wetiwes] - -Entew QUEEN EWIZABETH and the DUCHESS OF YOWK - -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Ah, :3 my poow pwinces! ah, my tendew -babes! -My unbwown fwowews, nyew-appeawing s-sweets! -If y-yet youw gentwe souws fwy in the aiw -And be nyot fix'd in *looks at you* doom pewpetuaw, -Hovew about me with youw *blushes* aiwy wings -And heaw *twerks* youw mothew's wamentation. -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Hovew about hew; say that wight fow wight -Hath ^w^ dimm'd youw infant mown to aged nyight. -*teleports behind you* DUCHESS. uWu So many misewies have cwaz'd my voice -T-That my woe-weawied tongue is stiww and OwO mute. -Edwawd Pwantagenyet, w-why *pokes you* awt thou dead? -QUEEN MAWGAWET. P-Pwantagenyet *twerks* doth q-quit Pwantagenyet, -Edwawd fow Edwawd pays a dying d-debt. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Wiwt thou, O God, fwy *hugs tightly* fwom such gentwe -wambs -And thwow t-them i-in the entwaiws ^w^ of the wowf? -When didst thou sweep ;;w;; when such a deed was donye? -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. When howy x3 Hawwy died, a-and my sweet -son. -DUCHESS. Dead wife, bwind sight, *looks at you* poow mowtaw wiving ghost, -W-Woe's scenye, wowwd's shame, gwave's due b-by wife usuwp'd, -Bwief abstwact and ^-^ wecowd of tedious days, -West thy unwest *hugs tightly* on *giggles shyly* Engwand's wawfuw ^-^ eawth, [Sitting down] -Unwawfuwwy made *twerks* dwunk with innyocent bwood. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Ah, that thou wouwdst as soon affowd a -gwave -As thou OwO canst yiewd xDD a mewanchowy seat! -Then w-wouwd *blushes* I hide my b-bonyes, n-nyot west them hewe. -A-Ah, who hath any cause to *looks at you* mouwn but we? -[Sitting down by hew] -QUEEN MAWGAWET. *shuffles closer* [Coming fowwawd] If ancient sowwow b-be -OwO most *giggles shyly* wevewend, -Give minye the benyefit of s-senyiowy, -^.^ And wet my g-gwiefs :3 fwown on the *looks away* uppew hand. -If sowwow can admit society, [Sitting *cries* down with UwU them] -Teww o'ew y-youw woes again by v-viewing minye. -I had an Edwawd, tiww a *screams* Wichawd kiww'd him; -I *sighs* had a h-husband, tiww *screams* a xDD Wichawd kiww'd him: -Thou hadst an Edwawd, tiww a Wichawd kiww'd OwO him; -Thou hadst a Wichawd, tiww a Wichawd kiww'd him. -DUCHESS. I had a Wichawd too, *shuffles closer* and t-thou didst kiww him; -I had a Wutwand too, thou h-howp'st to kiww him. -*giggles shyly* QUEEN MAWGAWET. Thou hadst *twerks* a Cwawence uWu too, a-and Wichawd -kiww'd him. -Fwom fowth the kennyew of thy womb hath cwept -A h-heww-hound that doth hunt us aww to death. -That *pokes you* dog, that had his teeth befowe his eyes -To wowwy wambs a-and wap theiw gentwe bwood, -That fouw defacew of God's handiwowk, -That excewwent g-gwand tywant of t-the eawth -That *screams* weigns in gawwed eyes of weeping souws, -Thy womb w-wet woose to chase us ^w^ to ouw gwaves. -O upwight, just, and twue-disposing God, -H-How do I thank thee that this cawnyaw cuw -Pweys on the issue of his mothew's body -And :33 makes *shuffles closer* hew pew-fewwow with othews' moan! -*giggles shyly* DUCHESS. O Hawwy's wife, twiumph nyot in *cries* my woes! -G-God witnyess with me, I have wept *shuffles closer* fow t-thinye. -UwU QUEEN MAWGAWET. Beaw with *sighs* me; I am h-hungwy f-fow wevenge, -And nyow I-I cwoy me w-with b-behowding it. -T-Thy E-Edwawd he is d-dead, that kiww'd my uWu Edwawd; -The othew Edwawd dead, to quit my E-Edwawd; -Young Yowk h-he x3 is but boot, because both they -*twerks* Match'd nyot the h-high pewfection of uWu my x3 woss. -Thy Cwawence he ^w^ is dead that stabb'd my Edwawd; -And the behowdews of this fwantic pway, -Th' aduwtewate Hastings, W-Wivews, ^w^ Vaughan, Gwey, -Untimewy smothew'd *teleports behind you* in ;;w;; theiw dusky gwaves. -UwU Wichawd yet wives, heww's bwack intewwigencew; -O-Onwy wesewv'd theiw factow to buy souws -And send them t-thithew. But at hand, at *moans* hand, -E-Ensues his *cuddles you* piteous and unpitied *twerks* end. -Eawth gapes, heww buwns, f-fiends :3 woaw, saints *leans over* pway, -To have him suddenwy *giggles shyly* convey'd ^w^ fwom hence. -Cancew his bond of *screams* wife, deaw G-God, *blushes* I pway, -That I may wive and say 'The *notices bulge* dog is dead.' -QUEEN EWIZABETH. O, thou didst pwophesy the time >w< wouwd -come -That I shouwd wish fow thee to hewp >w< me cuwse -*screams* That bottwed spidew, x3 that fouw b-bunch-back'd toad! -QUEEN MAWGAWET. I C-Caww'd t-thee then vain fwouwish *sighs* of my -fowtunye; -I caww'd thee then poow shadow, painted queen, -The p-pwesentation of *twerks* but what I was, -The fwattewing index of a >_< diwefuw pageant, -Onye heav'd a-high to be x3 huww'd down *sighs* bewow, -A mothew *moans* onwy mock'd with two faiw b-babes, -*notices bulge* A dweam of what thou wast, *giggles shyly* a gawish fwag -To be the aim of evewy dangewous shot, -A sign of :3 dignyity, a bweath, a b-bubbwe, -A queen in jest, :33 onwy to fiww the scenye. -Whewe is thy husband nyow? Whewe be thy bwothews? -Whewe be thy two ^w^ sons? Whewein dost *teleports behind you* thou *hugs tightly* joy? -W-Who sues, and knyeews, and says *pokes you* 'God save t-the Queen'? -Whewe :3 be *teleports behind you* the *looks at you* bending *cuddles you* peews t-that fwattewed thee? -W-Whewe be the t-thwonging t-twoops that fowwowed thee? -Decwinye an this, and see what nyow thou awt: -Fow h-happy w-wife, a-a most *hugs tightly* distwessed *leans over* widow; -Fow uWu joyfuw mothew, onye that waiws the >w< nyame; -*sighs* Fow onye being su'd to, *moans* onye that humbwy sues; -*shuffles closer* Fow Q-Queen, a *cuddles you* vewy *shuffles closer* caitiff :3 cwown'd with c-cawe; -Fow she *looks at you* that scown'd at me, nyow OwO scown'd of me; -Fow she being feaw'd of OwO aww, nyow >_> feawing onye; -Fow she commanding *giggles shyly* aww, obey'd ^-^ of nyonye. -Thus hath the c-couwse of justice whiww'd about -And w-weft thee but a vewy p-pwey to time, -Having *looks at you* nyo mowe but thought of what thou wast -To towtuwe thee the mowe, being what thou awt. -Thou didst usuwp my pwace, *moans* and d-dost thou n-nyot -Usuwp the just pwopowtion of m-my sowwow? -Nyow t-thy ^.^ pwoud nyeck beaws hawf *looks away* my *moans* buwden'd yoke, -Fwom which even hewe I swip my weawy head -And weave the buwden o-of i-it aww on thee. -Faweweww, *leans over* Yowk's wife, ^-^ and queen of sad mischance; -These Engwish woes shaww m-make me smiwe in *hugs tightly* Fwance. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. O thou weww skiww'd in cuwses, stay ;;w;; awhiwe -And teach me how t-to cuwse minye enyemies! -QUEEN MAWGAWET. Fowbeaw to s-sweep t-the nyights, and fast the -days; -Compawe dead happinyess with wiving *giggles shyly* woe; -T-Think that thy babes wewe sweetew than t-they *notices bulge* wewe, -And he that swew them fouwew than he is. -Bett'wing *teleports behind you* thy woss makes >w< the bad-causew wowse; -Wevowving this wiww teach thee how to cuwse. -QUEEN *pokes you* EWIZABETH. My wowds awe duww; O-O, quicken UwU them -with t-thinye! -QUEEN M-MAWGAWET. *sweats* Thy woes >_> wiww make t-them *cries* shawp >_< and -piewce wike *leans over* minye. *screams* Exit -DUCHESS. Why s-shouwd cawamity b-be fun o-of wowds? -Q-QUEEN EWIZABETH. W-Windy attownyeys to theiw cwient woes, -Aiwy succeedews of intestate joys, -Poow bweathing owatows of misewies, -Wet them have scope; t-though what they w-wiww *leans over* impawt -Hewp nyothing ewse, yet do they case the heawt. -DUCHESS. If s-so, then be nyot tongue-tied. Go with me, -And ^.^ in the bweath of ;;w;; bittew w-wowds wet's smothew -My damnyed ;;w;; son that thy two sweet sons smothew'd. -The twumpet sounds; be copious in excwaims. - -Entew KING WICHAWD *shuffles closer* and h-his twain, mawching with -*teleports behind you* dwums and twumpets - -KING WICHAWD. W-Who intewcepts me i-in m-my expedition? -DUCHESS. O, she that might have intewcepted thee, -B-By x3 stwangwing thee in hew x3 accuwsed *teleports behind you* womb, -Fwom aww the swaughtews, w-wwetch, that thou hast donye! -QUEEN EWIZABETH. H-Hidest UwU thou that fowehead with a gowden -cwown -*hugs tightly* Whewe't shouwd be bwanded, if t-that wight wewe wight, -The swaughtew o-of the P-Pwince t-that ow'd t-that cwown, -A-And the >w< diwe death *teleports behind you* of my poow sons and *pokes you* bwothews? -*blushes* Teww me, thou viwwain swave, whewe a-awe my chiwdwen? -D-DUCHESS. Thou toad, thou t-toad, w-whewe is thy bwothew -Cwawence? -And wittwe Nyed Pwantagenyet, his son? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Whewe is *looks at you* the g-gentwe *shuffles closer* Wivews, Vaughan, ->_> Gwey? -DUCHESS. Whewe is kind Hastings? -KING WICHAWD. A fwouwish, twumpets! Stwike *sweats* awawum, dwums! -Wet nyot *looks at you* the heavens heaw these teww-tawe women -W-Waiw on the Wowd's anyointed. Stwike, I >w< say! -[Fwouwish. *leans over* Awawums] ->w< Eithew be patient and e-entweat me faiw, -Ow with the cwamowous w-wepowt o-of waw -Thus wiww I dwown youw excwamations. -D-DUCHESS. Awt t-thou my *screams* son? -KING WICHAWD. Ay, I thank God, my fathew, a-and youwsewf. -D-DUCHESS. Then patientwy heaw my *giggles shyly* impatience. -KING WICHAWD. Madam, I *looks away* have a touch of youw condition -That cannyot b-bwook the accent of wepwoof. -DUCHESS. O, wet me speak! -K-KING WICHAWD. Do, then; but >_< I'ww nyot *teleports behind you* heaw. -DUCHESS. *leans over* I wiww be miwd a-and g-gentwe in my wowds. -KING WICHAWD. And bwief, >w< good mothew; fow :3 I am i-in haste. -DUCHESS. Awt t-thou so hasty? I have ^.^ stay'd fow t-thee, -God knyows, in *giggles shyly* towment and in agony. -KING WICHAWD. And came I nyot *shuffles closer* at wast to comfowt you? -DUCHESS. Nyo, by the *moans* howy wood, ^.^ thou k-knyow'st it weww -Thou cam'st on eawth to make the eawth my h-heww. -*giggles shyly* A gwievous buwden was *sighs* thy *moans* biwth to me; -Tetchy and w-waywawd *sweats* was thy infancy; -Thy *cries* schoow-days fwightfuw, desp'wate, wiwd, a-and fuwious; -Thy pwime of manhood *screams* dawing, bowd, *moans* and ventuwous; -Thy age confiwm'd, pwoud, subtwe, swy, and bwoody, -Mowe miwd, b-but >_> yet mowe hawmfuw-kind in hatwed. -What comfowtabwe *pokes you* houw c-canst thou n-nyame -T-That evew *twerks* gwac'd me with thy company? -KING *looks away* WICHAWD. *teleports behind you* Faith, nyonye but Humphwey Houw, that caww'd -y-youw Gwace -To bweakfast once fowth of my company. -If I be *looks at you* so d-disgwacious in youw eye, -Wet me mawch on and nyot offend you, madam. -Stwike up the dwum. -DUCHESS. I *hugs tightly* pwithee >_< heaw me speak. -KING WICHAWD. You ^.^ speak too *twerks* bittewwy. -DUCHESS. Heaw me a w-wowd; -Fow I shaww nyevew speak to t-thee again. -*screams* KING WICHAWD. *screams* So. -DUCHESS. Eithew thou wiwt die by *moans* God's just *looks at you* owdinyance -*shuffles closer* Ewe fwom this w-waw thou t-tuwn a conquewow; -Ow I w-with gwief and extweme age shaww pewish -And nyevew mowe b-behowd t-thy face again. -Thewefowe take *teleports behind you* with thee my most gwievous cuwse, -Which in the day of battwe tiwe t-thee mowe -Than aww the compwete UwU awmouw that thou >w< weaw'st! -My pwayews on the advewse pawty >_< fight; -And *screams* thewe the wittwe s-souws of *hugs tightly* Edwawd's chiwdwen -Whispew the spiwits of ;;w;; thinye enyemies -And *sighs* pwomise them success a-and victowy. -*twerks* Bwoody thou awt; bwoody wiww be thy end. -*looks away* Shame sewves thy wife *sweats* and doth thy death attend. Exit -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Though faw mowe cause, yet much wess -spiwit t-to cuwse -A-Abides in me; I say amen to hew. -KING W-WICHAWD. Stay, madam, I must tawk a wowd with you. -QUEEN ^-^ EWIZABETH. I have nyo moe *notices bulge* sons of the woyaw b-bwood -Fow thee t-to swaughtew. Fow *looks at you* my d-daughtews, W-Wichawd, -They *giggles shyly* shaww ^.^ be pwaying nyuns, nyot weeping q-queens; -And uWu thewefowe wevew nyot to hit theiw wives. -KING WICHAWD. You have a daughtew caww'd Ewizabeth. -Viwtuous OwO and f-faiw, woyaw and gwacious. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. And *shuffles closer* must s-she die fow this? O, wet hew -wive, -And I'ww cowwupt hew mannyews, stain hew beauty, -Swandew mysewf as fawse to Edwawd's b-bed, -Thwow ovew *cuddles you* hew the ;;w;; veiw of infamy; -So *sweats* she may wive unscaww'd of bweeding xDD swaughtew, -*looks away* I wiww ^w^ confess she was nyot Edwawd's daughtew. -KING WICHAWD. Wwong n-nyot hew biwth; she is a woyaw -Pwincess. -QUEEN ^-^ EWIZABETH. To save hew wife I'ww s-say she ^.^ is nyot so. -K-KING WICHAWD. Hew wife is safest onwy in hew biwth. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. And *notices bulge* onwy in that s-safety died hew -bwothews. -KING WICHAWD. W-Wo, at theiw biwth *shuffles closer* good staws *screams* wewe opposite. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Nyo, to theiw wives i-iww fwiends *teleports behind you* wewe -contwawy. -KING WICHAWD. Aww *leans over* unyavoided is the doom of destiny. -*looks at you* QUEEN EWIZABETH. Twue, when avoided g-gwace m-makes destiny. -My babes *notices bulge* wewe destin'd to a faiwew death, -I-If gwace had bwess'd thee with a *sighs* faiwew wife. -KING WICHAWD. You speak as if that I had *teleports behind you* swain my cousins. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Cousins, indeed; and b-by *sighs* theiw uncwe -c-cozen'd -Of comfowt, kingdom, kindwed, f-fweedom, wife. -W-Whose h-hand soevew wanc'd theiw tendew heawts, -Thy head, a-an x3 indiwectwy, gave diwection. ->_> Nyo doubt t-the muwd'wous k-knyife was duww and bwunt -Tiww it was w-whetted on thy stonye-hawd heawt -*pokes you* To ^.^ wevew in the e-entwaiws of m-my w-wambs. -But that *sighs* stiff u-use of gwief *leans over* makes wiwd gwief tame, -My tongue shouwd to thy eaws nyot *sighs* nyame my boys -*sighs* Tiww that my *looks away* nyaiws wewe *moans* anchow'd in *giggles shyly* thinye eyes; -And I, in such *blushes* a d-desp'wate *moans* bay o-of death, -W-Wike a x3 poow bawk, of saiws and tackwing uWu weft, -Wush aww *leans over* to pieces on thy ^w^ wocky bosom. -KING WICHAWD. Madam, so thwive I in my entewpwise -And dangewous success of b-bwoody *cries* waws, -As I intend mowe good to you and youws -Than evew you ow youws by me w-wewe hawm'd! -OwO QUEEN EWIZABETH. What good is covew'd with the face of -*hugs tightly* heaven, -To be discovew'd, that can do m-me good? -KING WICHAWD. *shuffles closer* advancement of youw chiwdwen, gentwe -wady. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Up to some scaffowd, thewe to wose theiw -heads? -KING WICHAWD. Unto t-the dignyity and h-height of Fowtunye, -The high impewiaw *pokes you* type of this eawth's >w< gwowy. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Fwattew my sowwow ;;w;; with wepowt of it; -Teww me what state, ^w^ what dignyity, >_< what h-honyouw, -*shuffles closer* Canst thou demise to any uWu chiwd of minye? -KING WICHAWD. Even aww I have-ay, and x3 mysewf and aww -Wiww I withaw endow a c-chiwd of thinye; -So in t-the Wethe ^-^ of thy uWu angwy *teleports behind you* souw -Thou dwown the s-sad wemembwance of those wwongs -Which thou supposest I have donye to thee. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Be bwief, west UwU that the pwocess of thy -k-kindnyess -*notices bulge* Wast wongew tewwing than thy kindnyess' date. -KING WICHAWD. Then knyow, that fwom my >w< souw I-I wove thy -*teleports behind you* daughtew. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. M-My daughtew's mothew thinks it with h-hew -souw. -K-KING W-WICHAWD. What do you think? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. *shuffles closer* That *teleports behind you* thou dost wove my d-daughtew fwom -thy souw. -So *twerks* fwom t-thy s-souw's wove didst thou wove hew bwothews, -And fwom my h-heawt's wove I do thank thee fow it. -*cries* KING WICHAWD. Be nyot so hasty to confound my meanying. -I mean that with my souw I wove *leans over* thy daughtew -A-And do intend to make hew Queen of Engwand. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. Weww, then, who dost thou mean shaww be -hew k-king? -*leans over* KING WICHAWD. E-Even OwO he that makes hew Queen. Who ewse -shouwd b-be? -QUEEN *teleports behind you* EWIZABETH. What, *sweats* thou? -*cries* KING >_< WICHAWD. Even so. How think you of it? -QUEEN EWIZABETH. How canst thou woo hew? -KING WICHAWD. That wouwd I weawn of you, -As onye being best acquainted with h-hew humouw. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. And wiwt t-thou weawn o-of me? -KING WICHAWD. Madam, with aww my heawt. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. S-Send to hew, by the man :3 that swew hew -bwothews, -A paiw o-of bweeding heawts; theweon engwave -'Edwawd' and 'Yowk.' T-Then hapwy x3 wiww she *hugs tightly* weep; -Thewefowe pwesent to hew-as sometimes >_< Mawgawet -*blushes* Did to thy fathew, steep'd in Wutwand's b-bwood- -A handkewchief; which, say to hew, did dwain -The :33 puwpwe sap f-fwom hew s-sweet bwothew's body, -A-And x3 bid hew wipe hew weeping eyes *pokes you* withaw. -If this inducement move hew nyot to wove, -S-Send hew a wettew of thy nyobwe deeds; -Teww hew thou mad'st away hew u-uncwe Cwawence, -H-Hew uncwe Wivews; x3 ay, :33 and fow *pokes you* hew sake -x3 Mad'st quick conveyance with hew uWu good aunt Annye. -*twerks* KING WICHAWD. You mock m-me, madam; this is nyot >_< the way -To win *shuffles closer* youw daughtew. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Thewe is *twerks* nyo othew w-way; -Unwess thou couwdst p-put on some othew >_> shape -*moans* And n-nyot >_< be Wichawd that hath donye aww *giggles shyly* this. -KING WICHAWD. S-Say that I did a-aww this *cries* fow wove o-of ^w^ hew. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Nyay, then i-indeed *leans over* she cannyot choose b-but -*blushes* hate t-thee, -*pokes you* Having bought wove with such a bwoody spoiw. -KING WICHAWD. UwU Wook w-what i-is donye cannyot be nyow :33 amended. -xDD Men shaww deaw u-unyadvisedwy sometimes, -Which aftew-houws g-gives *leans over* weisuwe to ^-^ wepent. -If I d-did take t-the kingdom fwom youw sons, -To make amends I'ww give it to youw d-daughtew. -If I h-have kiww'd the *screams* issue of youw womb, -To quicken >_> youw incwease I *looks away* wiww beget -Minye i-issue of youw bwood OwO upon youw daughtew. -A >_> gwandam's ^w^ nyame is xDD wittwe wess >_< in wove -*blushes* Than is the d-doating titwe of a mothew; -They a-awe as chiwdwen but onye step bewow, -*notices bulge* Even of youw metaw, o-of youw vewy bwood; -Of a-aww o-onye pain, save fow a-a nyight of g-gwoans -Enduw'd o-of hew, fow whom you bid ;;w;; wike sowwow. -Y-Youw chiwdwen ^w^ wewe vexation to youw youth; -But minye shaww :3 be a *giggles shyly* comfowt to youw age. -The *cries* woss you have :3 is but a-a son being K-King, -And by that woss youw daughtew is *cuddles you* made Q-Queen. -:3 I c-cannyot make you w-what amends I wouwd, -Thewefowe accept such *shuffles closer* kindnyess a-as I can. -xDD Dowset youw son, that with a feawfuw souw -Weads discontented steps in foweign soiw, -This faiw awwiance quickwy shaww can home -*teleports behind you* To *shuffles closer* high p-pwomotions and *leans over* gweat :33 dignyity. -*giggles shyly* The K-King, that cawws youw beauteous daughtew wife, -Famiwiawwy *looks away* shaww caww t-thy Dowset bwothew; -A-Again shaww you uWu be mothew t-to *sighs* a king, -And aww *notices bulge* the wuins of distwessfuw times -*teleports behind you* Wepaiw'd with doubwe wiches of *notices bulge* content. -W-What! we have many goodwy days t-to see. -The wiquid dwops *cuddles you* of teaws *screams* that you uWu have shed -Shaww come again, twansfowm'd OwO to owient >_> peaww, -Advantaging theiw *sighs* woan with intewest -*screams* Of ten times doubwe gain of happinyess. -G-Go, then, my mothew, t-to thy daughtew g-go; -Make bowd hew >w< bashfuw *looks at you* yeaws with youw expewience; -*teleports behind you* Pwepawe hew eaws >w< to h-heaw a-a wooew's tawe; -Put i-in h-hew *leans over* tendew heawt th' a-aspiwing OwO fwame -Of gowden soveweignty; acquaint the *screams* Pwinces -With t-the sweet siwent houws ^w^ of ;;w;; mawwiage j-joys. -And *shuffles closer* when t-this a-awm of minye hath chastised -The petty webew, duww-bwain'd Buckingham, -Bound *blushes* with twiumphant >_> gawwands wiww I come, -And w-wead thy daughtew t-to a c-conquewow's bed; -To whom I wiww wetaiw *sweats* my conquest won, -And she s-shaww be ^.^ sowe *shuffles closer* victowess, Caesaw's Caesaw. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. What ^-^ wewe I *cries* best to say? Hew *moans* fathew's -bwothew -Wouwd be hew w-wowd? Ow shaww I say hew uncwe? -Ow he that swew ^w^ hew bwothews and h-hew *looks away* uncwes? -Undew what titwe >w< shaww I *shuffles closer* woo fow ^w^ thee -That God, the waw, my honyouw, and hew wove -Can make OwO seem pweasing *leans over* to hew tendew y-yeaws? -KING WICHAWD. Infew faiw Engwand's peace by this a-awwiance. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Which she shaww puwchase with -stiww-wasting waw. -K-KING WICHAWD. Teww hew the King, that *giggles shyly* may command, -entweats. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. That at hew hands which the King's -King fowbids. -^-^ KING WICHAWD. Say she shaww be a high and m-mighty queen. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. To *blushes* waiw the titwe, as *pokes you* hew mothew *looks away* doth. ->_< KING WICHAWD. Say I wiww *screams* wove hew evewwastingwy. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. *looks away* But how wong s-shaww that titwe '-'evew' wast? -KING WICHAWD. Sweetwy in fowce unto h-hew *looks at you* faiw wife's end. -QUEEN >w< EWIZABETH. But how wong faiwwy uWu shaww hew sweet wife -*blushes* wast? -KING WICHAWD. As w-wong as heaven and nyatuwe wengthens it. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. As wong as *notices bulge* heww and Wichawd wikes of it. -*leans over* KING WICHAWD. S-Say I, *sweats* hew s-soveweign, *looks away* am hew subject wow. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. But she, youw subject, woathes such -soveweignty. -KING *cuddles you* WICHAWD. *cuddles you* Be ewoquent *cries* in uWu my behawf UwU to h-hew. -xDD QUEEN EWIZABETH. An OwO honyest tawe *sighs* speeds best b-being pwainwy -towd. -KING WICHAWD. Then *cries* pwainwy to hew t-teww my woving tawe. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Pwain *shuffles closer* and nyot honyest is too h-hawsh a stywe. -KING W-WICHAWD. *sighs* Youw weasons awe too s-shawwow ;;w;; and too quick. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. O, nyo, my weasons awe too deep a-and -*pokes you* dead- -Too deep uWu and dead, poow infants, in theiw gwaves. -KING xDD WICHAWD. Hawp *cries* nyot :33 on that stwing, madam; that is past. -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. Hawp on it stiww *teleports behind you* shaww uWu I *looks away* tiww heawtstwings -bweak. -xDD KING W-WICHAWD. Nyow, by my uWu Geowge, my gawtew, and my -c-cwown- -QUEEN *teleports behind you* EWIZABETH. Pwofan'd, *twerks* dishonyouw'd, *moans* and the thiwd -usuwp'd. -KING W-WICHAWD. I sweaw- -QUEEN EWIZABETH. *hugs tightly* By ^-^ nyothing; *looks away* fow this is *twerks* nyo oath: -Thy Geowge, *looks at you* pwofan'd, h-hath w-wost his wowdwy h-honyouw; -Thy >_> gawtew, bwemish'd, pawn'd *shuffles closer* his knyightwy viwtue; -Thy c-cwown, usuwp'd, disgwac'd his kingwy g-gwowy. -If something thou wouwdst s-sweaw *leans over* to >_> be bewiev'd, -Sweaw *moans* then by something that t-thou h-hast nyot wwong'd. -KING WICHAWD. Then, by xDD my sewf- -QUEEN EWIZABETH. T-Thy sewf is s-sewf-misus'd. -KING WICHAWD. N-Nyow, by the wowwd- -QUEEN E-EWIZABETH. 'Tis fuww of thy fouw ^w^ wwongs. -*looks at you* KING WICHAWD. My fathew's death- -QUEEN EWIZABETH. ;;w;; Thy wife hath *looks away* it dishonyouw'd. -KING WICHAWD. ^w^ Why, then, by God- -QUEEN EWIZABETH. God's ^w^ wwong is most of *teleports behind you* aww. -If thou didst feaw to bweak a-an oath with Him, -The unyity the King ^w^ my husband made -Thou hadst nyot bwoken, n-nyow *sweats* my bwothews died. -If t-thou hadst feaw'd to x3 bweak an o-oath by Him, -Th' impewiaw metaw, ciwcwing nyow thy h-head, -*notices bulge* Had gwac'd the tendew tempwes o-of my chiwd; -And both the Pwinces had been >w< bweathing hewe, -Which nyow, *cries* two tendew b-bedfewwows fow dust, -*pokes you* Thy bwoken faith hath made *leans over* the p-pwey fow wowms. -What canst thou sweaw by nyow? -KING WICHAWD. The time to come. -Q-QUEEN *sighs* EWIZABETH. That thou hast wwonged in the time -o'ewpast; -Fow I mysewf h-have many teaws to wash -*moans* Heweaftew t-time, fow time *cuddles you* past wwong'd by thee. -The chiwdwen wive w-whose fathews thou hast swaughtew'd, -U-Ungovewn'd y-youth, to waiw i-it in theiw age; -The pawents wive whose chiwdwen thou hast butcheed, -*notices bulge* Owd bawwen *sweats* pwants, to waiw it ^w^ with theiw age. -Sweaw nyot by time to come; fow that t-thou >_> hast -Misus'd e-ewe u-us'd, b-by times iww-us'd o'ewpast. -K-KING WICHAWD. As I *moans* intend to pwospew a-and :33 wepent, -S-So thwive I in my dangewous a-affaiws -Of hostiwe awms! Mysewf mysewf confound! -Heaven and fowtunye baw x3 me happy houws! -Day, yiewd me nyot thy wight; x3 nyow, nyight, thy west! -Be opposite aww pwanyets of good wuck -T-To my pwoceeding!-if, with d-deaw heawt's wove, -Immacuwate devotion, *looks at you* howy thoughts, -I-I tendew nyot t-thy beauteous pwincewy daughtew. -In hew consists my happinyess and thinye; -Without hew, fowwows to UwU mysewf and thee, -Hewsewf, t-the wand, *blushes* and m-many ^w^ a Chwistian souw, -*shuffles closer* Death, desowation, wuin, and decay. -I-It cannyot be avoided but by this; -It w-wiww nyot be avoided but by this. -Thewefowe, deaw mothew-I must caww you so- -Be the attownyey of my wove t-to hew; -Pwead *giggles shyly* what I-I ;;w;; wiww be, nyot what I have *twerks* been; -Nyot my desewts, but ^-^ what I wiww desewve. -Uwge the nyecessity and state of times, -And be nyot *cries* peevish-fond i-in gweat designs. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Shaww I be t-tempted of the deviw thus? -K-KING W-WICHAWD. Ay, if the deviw tempt you to do good. -xDD QUEEN EWIZABETH. S-Shaww I fowget mysewf to *teleports behind you* be ^w^ mysewf? -KING WICHAWD. OwO Ay, if youw s-sewf's w-wemembwance wwong -youwsewf. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Yet thou didst k-kiww m-my >_> chiwdwen. -KING WICHAWD. But in youw *screams* daughtew's womb I buwy them; -Whewe, in that nyest of spicewy, they wiww bweed -Sewves of :33 themsewves, t-to ;;w;; youw wecomfowtuwe. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. Shaww I go win my d-daughtew t-to thy wiww? -KING WICHAWD. *notices bulge* And be a :3 happy mothew b-by *hugs tightly* the deed. -QUEEN EWIZABETH. I go. Wwite to me vewy showtwy, -And you shaww undewstand fwom me hew mind. ->_< KING WICHAWD. Beaw hew my twue wove's k-kiss; and OwO so, faweweww. -Kissing hew. Exit QUEEN EWIZABETH -Wewenting f-foow, *moans* and shawwow, changing woman! - -Entew W-WATCWIFF; CATESBY fowwowing - -How nyow! what nyews? -WATCWIFF. Most mighty soveweign, :3 on the westewn coast -*pokes you* Wideth a p-puissant nyavy; to ouw *hugs tightly* showes -T-Thwong *giggles shyly* many xDD doubtfuw howwow-heawted fwiends, -U-Unyawm'd, a-and unwesowv'd to beat them :33 back. -'Tis thought *cuddles you* that Wichmond is theiw admiwaw; -And *sighs* thewe they huww, expecting but the *twerks* aid -Of Buckingham t-to wewcome them a-ashowe. -KING WICHAWD. ^-^ Some wight-foot fwiend post *looks at you* to t-the Duke of -Nyowfowk. -Watcwiff, thysewf-ow Catesby; whewe i-is he? -CATESBY. Hewe, m-my good wowd. -KING WICHAWD. Catesby, fwy to the *sighs* Duke. -CATESBY. *shuffles closer* I wiww my wowd, with a-aww convenyient h-haste. -KING WICHAWD. Watcwiff, come *pokes you* hithew. P-Post to Sawisbuwy; -When t-thou com'st thithew- [-[To CATESBY] Duww, -unmindfuww viwwain, -Why stay'st thou hewe, and go'st nyot >w< to the Duke? -CATESBY. Fiwst, mighty wiege, teww me ^w^ youw Highnyess' OwO pweasuwe, -What fwom youw Gwace I shaww dewivew to him. -K-KING WICHAWD. O, twue, good Catesby. Bid him wevy stwaight -The gweatest stwength a-and powew that he *screams* can make -And meet m-me suddenwy at Sawisbuwy. -CATESBY. I-I go. Exit -WATCWIFF. What, may it p-pwease *moans* you, shaww ;;w;; I do at S-Sawisbuwy? -KING WICHAWD. Why, what wouwdst >_> thou do thewe befowe I -*pokes you* go? -WATCWIFF. Youw Highnyess towd me I shouwd *blushes* post b-befowe. -KING WICHAWD. *screams* My m-mind is chang'd. - -Entew W-WOWD STANWEY - -STANWEY, what n-nyews with you? -S-STANWEY. N-Nyonye good, my wiege, to pwease y-you with -the heawing; -Nyow nyonye so bad but weww may be wepowted. -KING *hugs tightly* WICHAWD. Hoyday, a-a widdwe! nyeithew good nyow bad! -What nyeed'st thou wun *looks at you* so many miwes about, -When thou mayest teww thy tawe the xDD nyeawest way? -Once mowe, w-what *twerks* nyews? -STANWEY. Wichmond is on the seas. -KING W-WICHAWD. Thewe UwU wet him sink, *pokes you* and *looks away* be the seas on him! -;;w;; White-wivew'd wunyagate, w-what doth he thewe? -STANWEY. I-I knyow nyot, m-mighty soveweign, but ^-^ by g-guess. -KING WICHAWD. Weww, as *cries* you guess? -STANWEY. *hugs tightly* Stiww'd *twerks* up by Dowset, Buckingham, a-and Mowton, -He makes fow Engwand hewe to cwaim the cwown. ->w< KING WICHAWD. Is x3 the chaiw empty? Is the swowd unsway'd? -Is the K-King dead, *leans over* the e-empiwe unpossess'd? -What xDD heiw of Yowk is t-thewe awive but w-we? -And who >_< is Engwand's King b-but gweat Yowk's heiw? -T-Then teww me what makes he u-upon the seas. -STANWEY. U-Unwess fow that, *shuffles closer* my wiege, I c-cannyot guess. -KING x3 WICHAWD. U-Unwess fow t-that he comes to b-be youw wiege, -You *screams* cannyot guess whewefowe the Wewshman comes. -Thou wiwt *leans over* wevowt and f-fwy to him, I feaw. -S-STANWEY. Nyo, my good wowd; thewefowe mistwust me nyot. -KING WICHAWD. W-Whewe i-is thy *twerks* powew then, to beat uWu him back? -Whewe be t-thy tenyants and thy fowwowews? -*screams* Awe they n-nyot nyow upon t-the westewn showe, -Safe-conducting the webews fwom *pokes you* theiw *teleports behind you* ships? -*sighs* STANWEY. Nyo, my g-good wowd, my fwiends awe in uWu the nyowth. -^-^ KING WICHAWD. Cowd fwiends to me. What do they in *hugs tightly* the -nyowth, -When they shouwd sewve theiw soveweign *looks away* in the west? -STANWEY. They have nyot *hugs tightly* been commanded, mighty King. -Pweaseth *cries* youw Majesty to *looks away* give m-me ^.^ weave, -I'ww mustew up my fwiends and m-meet youw Gwace -Whewe *teleports behind you* and what :33 time y-youw Majesty shaww p-pwease. -KING WICHAWD. Ay, ay, thou >w< wouwdst *hugs tightly* be g-gonye to join with -Wichmond; -But I'ww nyot twust thee. -STANWEY. Most mighty soveweign, -You *shuffles closer* have nyo cause to howd my fwiendship *teleports behind you* doubtfuw. -I nyevew w-was xDD nyow nyevew wiww be fawse. -KING WICHAWD. Go, t-then, and *looks away* mustew men. But weave behind -Youw son, Geowge S-Stanwey. Wook youw heawt be f-fiwm, -*shuffles closer* Ow ewse his head's assuwance is but *looks at you* fwaiw. -STANWEY. So deaw with h-him ;;w;; as I pwove twue to >w< you. Exit - -Entew a-a *hugs tightly* MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. *giggles shyly* My gwacious soveweign, nyow in Devonshiwe, -As I-I by fwiends am w-weww advewtised, -*shuffles closer* Siw Edwawd Couwtnyey and the haughty pwewate, -Bishop of Exetew, his ewdew bwothew, -With many moe confedewates, *twerks* awe in xDD awms. - -*screams* Entew anyothew MESSENGEW - -SECOND *blushes* MESSENGEW. *pokes you* In Kent, my wiege, the Guiwfowds awe in -*looks at you* awms; -And evewy houw mowe competitows -Fwock t-to the w-webews, *notices bulge* and theiw powew gwows *sweats* stwong. - -OwO Entew a-anyothew MESSENGEW - -THIWD *sighs* MESSENGEW. My OwO wowd, the awmy of gweat Buckingham- -KING WICHAWD. Out on you, owws! Nyothing but songs of -death? [He stwikes him] -T-Thewe, take thou that tiww thou bwing bettew nyews. -T-THIWD MESSENGEW. The nyews I have to teww youw Majesty -Is that b-by sudden fwoods and faww of watews -Buckingham's awmy is dispews'd a-and scattew'd; -And h-he himsewf wand'wed *twerks* away awonye, -Nyo man *screams* knyows whithew. -KING WICHAWD. ;;w;; I cwy thee mewcy. -Thewe is my puwse to cuwe that bwow of thinye. -Hath any weww-advised fwiend pwocwaim'd -Wewawd to him that bwings the t-twaitow i-in? ->_> THIWD MESSENGEW. Such pwocwamation hath been made, -my Wowd. - -Entew anyothew MESSENGEW - -uWu FOUWTH MESSENGEW. *blushes* Siw Thomas Wovew and ^-^ Wowd UwU Mawquis -Dowset, -'Tis said, my wiege, in Yowkshiwe awe in awms. -But x3 this good comfowt bwing I to youw Highnyess- -*looks at you* The Bwitainye nyavy is *moans* dispews'd by *pokes you* tempest. -Wichmond *sweats* in :33 Dowsetshiwe ^.^ sent out a boat -Unto the showe, to a-ask those on *cries* the banks -If they wewe h-his *cuddles you* assistants, yea o-ow *giggles shyly* nyo; -Who answew'd *notices bulge* him they came fwom Buckingham -Upon his p-pawty. H-He, mistwusting them, -Hois'd saiw, and made his couwse again fow Bwitainye. -KING WICHAWD. Mawch on, mawch o-on, since we awe up in -awms; -If nyot to fight with foweign e-enyemies, -Yet to beat down these w-webews hewe at home. - -We-entew *cries* CATESBY - -C-CATESBY. M-My wiege, the D-Duke UwU of *leans over* Buckingham is taken- -That >_< is t-the best nyews. That the E-Eaww of Wichmond -Is w-with a mighty *notices bulge* powew wanded at Miwfowd -Is cowdew tidings, yet they must be towd. -K-KING WICHAWD. Away towawds Sawisbuwy! Whiwe w-we weason -h-hewe -A w-woyaw battwe might *cries* be won and wost. -Some onye take OwO owdew B-Buckingham be b-bwought -To Sawisbuwy; the w-west mawch on with me. -Fwouwish. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 5-5. - -WOWD *pokes you* DEWBY'S house - -E-Entew STANWEY a-and S-SIW CHWISTOPHEW UWSWICK - -STANWEY. Siw Chwistophew, teww Wichmond t-this fwom me: -*twerks* That in the sty *twerks* of the most *hugs tightly* deadwy >w< boaw -My son Geowge Stanwey is *teleports behind you* fwank'd *moans* up in howd; -If *moans* I wevowt, *looks away* off goes *shuffles closer* young Geowge's >_< head; -The feaw *sweats* of that h-howds *teleports behind you* off my pwesent aid. -So, *teleports behind you* get thee gonye; commend m-me t-to *giggles shyly* thy uWu wowd. -Withaw say *twerks* that the Q-Queen hath *shuffles closer* heawtiwy consented -He shouwd espouse Ewizabeth *sighs* hew >_> daughtew. -But *blushes* teww me, whewe is pwincewy Wichmond *leans over* nyow? -*screams* CHWISTOPHEW. At Pembwoke, ow at Ha'wfowd west in Wawes. -STANWEY. What men of nyame wesowt t-to him? -CHWISTOPHEW. Siw Wawtew OwO Hewbewt, a-a wenyownyed s-sowdiew; -SIW Giwbewt *giggles shyly* Tawbot, Siw Wiwwiam Stanwey, -OXFOWD, wedoubted Pembwoke, *cuddles you* Siw James Bwunt, -And Wice ap Thomas, >_> with a v-vawiant cwew; -And many othew o-of gweat nyame and *sweats* wowth; -And towawds Wondon do they xDD bend theiw powew, -If by the way t-they be nyot fought withaw. -STANWEY. Weww, hie thee *cuddles you* to *sighs* thy w-wowd; I k-kiss his *cries* hand; -My *twerks* wettew wiww wesowve him of my mind. -F-Faweweww. Exeunt - - - - -<_< EWECTWONyIC VEWSION OF THE ^.^ COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -S-SHAKESPEAWE *moans* IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND IS -PWOVIDED *hugs tightly* BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF >w< IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO *notices bulge* WONG AS *hugs tightly* SUCH C-COPIES (-(1) AWE F-FOW YOUW :3 OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES *shuffles closer* BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 1. - -S-Sawisbuwy. An o-open *notices bulge* pwace - -*twerks* Entew the SHEWIFF a-and guawd, with BUCKINGHAM, >w< wed to execution - -BUCKINGHAM. Wiww nyot King Wichawd wet m-me speak with -him? -SHEWIFF. Nyo, m-my *teleports behind you* good wowd; thewefowe be patient. -BUCKINGHAM. Hastings, and Edwawd's chiwdwen, G-Gwey, a-and -Wivews, -Howy King Henwy, and thy faiw son Edwawd, -Vaughan, and *teleports behind you* aww that have miscawwied -By undewhand cowwupted fouw *cries* injustice, -If that ^w^ youw moody discontented souws -Do thwough the cwouds behowd this pwesent houw, -Even fow wevenge mock my destwuction! -T-This is ^.^ Aww-Souws' day, *hugs tightly* fewwow, is it nyot? -*pokes you* SHEWIFF. I-It *twerks* is, my wowd. -B-BUCKINGHAM. Why, then Aww-Souws' day is my body's -*sweats* doomsday. -This >_> is the day which in King Edwawd's t-time -I-I *looks away* wish'd m-might faww on me when I-I :33 was found -Fawse *notices bulge* to his chiwdwen and his w-wife's awwies; -*looks at you* This *moans* is the day whewein I-I wish'd t-to f-faww -By the ^-^ fawse :33 faith o-of *cuddles you* him whom most I twusted; -This, ;;w;; this Aww-Souws' day to my *teleports behind you* feawfuw OwO souw -Is the detewmin'd wespite of my *blushes* wwongs; -That high Aww-Seew which >_< I dawwied *blushes* with -Hath tuwn'd my feignyed xDD pwayew o-on my head -And given i-in eawnyest what I begg'd in j-jest. -T-Thus ^w^ doth He fowce the swowds of wicked men -To tuwn theiw own points in ^-^ theiw *leans over* mastews' bosoms. -Thus Mawgawet's cuwse fawws heavy o-on my nyeck. -'When he' quoth s-she *moans* 'shaww spwit thy heawt with s-sowwow, -W-Wemembew Mawgawet w-was a pwophetess.' -Come w-wead me, officews, to x3 the bwock of shame; -W-Wwong *screams* hath but *pokes you* wwong, and *cries* bwame the due of bwame. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2. - -*blushes* Camp *giggles shyly* nyeaw Tamwowth - -Entew WICHMOND, OXFOWD, SIW JAMES BWUNT, SIW WAWTEW HEWBEWT, and othews, -^-^ with dwum and cowouws - -WICHMOND. ^w^ Fewwows uWu in awms, and my most *pokes you* woving fwiends, -Bwuis'd undewnyeath the y-yoke o-of tywanny, -Thus faw into x3 the bowews o-of the *cries* wand -H-Have we mawch'd on without impediment; -And hewe w-weceive w-we fwom ouw fathew UwU Stanwey -Winyes of faiw comfowt and encouwagement. -The wwetched, *blushes* bwoody, and usuwping boaw, -That spoiw'd youw ^-^ summew fiewds and fwuitfuw vinyes, -Swiwws youw wawm ^-^ bwood wike wash, a-and makes his twough -In youw emboweww'd bosoms-this f-fouw swinye -Is n-nyow even in the c-centwe of t-this iswe, -^.^ Nyeaw to the town of Weicestew, as w-we weawn. -F-Fwom Tamwowth thithew is but onye day's mawch. -I-In :33 God's nyame c-cheewwy on, couwageous fwiends, -To *looks away* weap the hawvest of pewpetuaw peace -By this onye bwoody twiaw of shawp waw. -OXFOWD. Evewy m-man's conscience is a ;;w;; thousand men, -To fight a-against OwO this ^.^ guiwty homicide. -H-HEWBEWT. I d-doubt nyot but his fwiends wiww t-tuwn to us. -BWUNT. He hath n-nyo f-fwiends b-but what awe fwiends f-fow feaw, -Which in his d-deawest nyeed wiww *screams* fwy fwom him. -*cries* WICHMOND. Aww fow ouw vantage. Then in God's >_< nyame mawch. -Twue hope ;;w;; is swift and fwies with swawwow's wings; -Kings it m-makes gods, *looks at you* and m-meanyew cweatuwes kings. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3. - -*cries* Boswowth Fiewd - -Entew KING W-WICHAWD ^-^ in awms, UwU with *looks at you* NyOWFOWK, W-WATCWIFF, -the EAWW of SUWWEYS and othews - -KING WICHAWD. Hewe pitch ouw tent, even hewe in Boswowth -f-fiewd. -My Wowd of Suwwey, w-why wook you *moans* so sad? -*teleports behind you* SUWWEY. My heawt *cries* is ten times wightew t-than m-my wooks. -KING WICHAWD. My Wowd of Nyowfowk! -x3 NyOWFOWK. Hewe, most gwacious *cries* wiege. -KING WICHAWD. N-Nyowfowk, *cuddles you* we must have knyocks; ha! *screams* must w-we -nyot? -N-NyOWFOWK. xDD We must both give and take, my w-woving wowd. -KING WICHAWD. Up With my tent! Hewe wiww I wie to-nyight; -[Sowdiews begin to set up the K-KING'S tent] -*blushes* But whewe to-mowwow? Weww, a-aww's onye fow that. -Who hath descwied the *hugs tightly* nyumbew o-of :3 the t-twaitows? -NyOWFOWK. :3 Six o-ow seven thousand *hugs tightly* is theiw u-utmost powew. -KING WICHAWD. Why, ouw battawia twebwes that account; -Besides, *twerks* the K-King's nyame is a towew of s-stwength, -Which they upon t-the advewse *looks away* faction want. -Up *pokes you* with the *hugs tightly* tent! Come, nyobwe gentwemen, -*looks away* Wet us suwvey the vantage of the g-gwound. -Caww *pokes you* fow some men of sound *shuffles closer* diwection. -Wet's wack nyo discipwinye, make nyo deway; -Fow, w-wowds, to-mowwow is a *looks at you* busy day. Exeunt - -Entew, on the othew side of t-the fiewd, -WICHMOND, SIW uWu WIWWIAM BWANDON, OXFOWD, DOWSET, ->_< and othews. Some pitch WICHMOND'S tent - -W-WICHMOND. The w-weawy s-sun hath *teleports behind you* made *moans* a >_< gowden *leans over* set, -:33 And by the b-bwight twact of his fiewy caw -^-^ Gives token o-of a goodwy x3 day to-mowwow. -Siw Wiwwiam B-Bwandon, y-you shaww beaw my s-standawd. -Give me some ink and papew in my tent. -I'ww d-dwaw t-the fowm and modew ;;w;; of ouw battwe, -*sighs* Wimit each weadew to h-his sevewaw chawge, -And pawt in just pwopowtion o-ouw smaww powew. -My Wowd of Oxfowd-you, *blushes* Siw Wiwwiam Bwandon- -A-And you, OwO Siw Wawtew Hewbewt-stay with me. -The Eaww of *giggles shyly* Pembwoke keeps his *screams* wegiment; -Good ;;w;; Captain Bwunt, beaw m-my good nyight to him, -And b-by *sighs* the second houw in the mownying -Desiwe >w< the ^.^ Eaww *looks away* to see me in my tent. -Y-Yet onye t-thing mowe, good Captain, *giggles shyly* do fow *looks at you* me- -Whewe i-is Wowd Stanwey quawtew'd, do y-you OwO knyow? -*sweats* BWUNT. Unwess I have mista'en his c-cowouws much- -Which weww I am a-assuw'd *screams* I have nyot donye- -H-His wegiment wies hawf a UwU miwe at weast -South fwom t-the mighty powew of the King. -WICHMOND. If without ^-^ pewiw it be *giggles shyly* possibwe, -Sweet ;;w;; Bwunt, make some good means to speak *sighs* with him -And give him fwom *giggles shyly* me this most nyeedfuw nyote. -BWUNT. *sighs* Upon my wife, my wowd, I-I'ww undewtake it; -And so, God uWu give you quiet west to-nyight! -*looks away* WICHMOND. >w< Good n-nyight, good Captain Bwunt. Come, -gentwemen, -Wet us consuwt upon to-mowwow's *pokes you* businyess. -In *sighs* to my tent; the dew *leans over* is waw and cowd. -[They withdwaw into the tent] - -Entew, to his-tent, K-KING WICHAWD, NyOWFOWK, -WATCWIFF, a-and CATESBY - -KING W-WICHAWD. What is't *cries* o'cwock? -CATESBY. I-It's s-suppew-time, my wowd; -I-It's n-nyinye o-o'cwock. -KING WICHAWD. I wiww nyot sup >_< to-nyight. -Give me s-some ink and papew. -What, i-is >w< my beavew easiew than it was? -And aww my awmouw *shuffles closer* waid i-into my tent? -CATESBY. It i-is, my *shuffles closer* wiege; and aww things a-awe in weadinyess. -KING WICHAWD. Good UwU Nyowfowk, *cries* hie t-thee to thy chawge; -Use cawefuw w-watch, choose twusty sentinyews. -*cuddles you* NyOWFOWK. I go, my w-wowd. -KING WICHAWD. Stiw with the wawk to-mowwow, gentwe N-Nyowfowk. -*hugs tightly* NyOWFOWK. *teleports behind you* I wawwant y-you, my wowd. *cries* Exit -KING WICHAWD. Catesby! -CATESBY. My wowd? -KING WICHAWD. Send out a *sweats* puwsuivant-at-awms -To S-Stanwey's *hugs tightly* wegiment; *sighs* bid him bwing *cries* his powew -Befowe sunwising, west his s-son Geowge f-faww -Into the bwind cave :3 of etewnyaw nyight. Exit CATESBY -Fiww me a b-boww of w-winye. Give me a-a watch. -Saddwe white Suwwey fow the fiewd to-mowwow. -Wook that my s-staves be sound, and nyot too heavy. -Watcwiff! -WATCWIFF. My wowd? -KING WICHAWD. Saw'st *blushes* thou the mewanchowy Wowd -Nyowthumbewwand? -WATCWIFF. Thomas *shuffles closer* the Eaww o-of Suwwey and h-himsewf, -*notices bulge* Much about cock-shut *shuffles closer* time, fwom t-twoop to twoop -W-Went :33 thwough the awmy, cheewing up t-the *moans* sowdiews. -KING WICHAWD. So, I-I am s-satisfied. Give *leans over* me UwU a ^-^ boww of winye. -I h-have n-nyot *cries* that awacwity of *cuddles you* spiwit -Nyow c-cheew of mind that I was wont to have. -Set i-it down. Is ink and *pokes you* papew weady? -*pokes you* WATCWIFF. It is, *sweats* my *cuddles you* wowd. -uWu KING *pokes you* WICHAWD. x3 Bid my *hugs tightly* guawd x3 watch; *cuddles you* weave me. -WATCWIFF, about the mid of nyight xDD come to my tent -And hewp OwO to *sweats* awm me. Weave me, ;;w;; I s-say. -Exit *teleports behind you* WATCWIFF. WICHAWD sweeps - -Entew DEWBY *hugs tightly* to *screams* WICHMOND in his tent; -WOWDS attending - -DEWBY. Fowtunye and victowy sit on thy h-hewm! -WICHMOND. Aww comfowt that t-the dawk xDD nyight can a-affowd -Be to thy *cries* pewson, nyobwe *shuffles closer* fathew-in-waw! -T-Teww me, how fawes ouw woving m-mothew? -DEWBY. *looks at you* I, by attownyey, bwess t-thee fwom thy mothew, -Who pways continyuawwy fow W-Wichmond's good. -So m-much f-fow that. The *leans over* siwent houws ^w^ steaw on, -And *moans* fwaky d-dawknyess bweaks within *twerks* the east. -In bwief, fow so the season bids us be, -Pwepawe thy battwe e-eawwy in the mownying, -And put >_< thy fowtunye to the awbitwement -Of bwoody stwokes and *sweats* mowtaw-stawing *looks at you* waw. -I, as I xDD may-that which I wouwd OwO I :33 cannyot- -With *leans over* best advantage wiww deceive the t-time -And aid thee in t-this xDD doubtfuw shock of awms; -But >w< on thy side I may nyot be too fowwawd, -West, being seen, thy b-bwothew, tendew Geowge, -Be executed in his fathew's sight. -F-Faweweww; t-the weisuwe and the feawfuw time -*hugs tightly* Cuts UwU off t-the c-cewemonyious v-vows of wove -And ampwe intewchange o-of sweet discouwse -W-Which so-wong-sund'wed fwiends *notices bulge* shouwd d-dweww u-upon. -God give UwU us weisuwe fow these wites of x3 wove! -Once *looks away* mowe, adieu; be vawiant, >w< and speed weww! -WICHMOND. Good *leans over* wowds, c-conduct him to his wegiment. -I'ww stwive with t-twoubwed xDD thoughts to take *moans* a n-nyap, -West w-weaden swumbew *sweats* peise me down to-mowwow -*cries* When I shouwd mount with wings of victowy. -Once mowe, good nyight, x3 kind wowds and gentwemen. -E-Exeunt aww *cries* but WICHMOND -O Thou, whose captain I account mysewf, -Wook o-on :3 my fowces with a uWu gwacious eye; -Put >w< in theiw hands Thy bwuising ^.^ iwons of *blushes* wwath, -That they m-may cwush down with a heavy faww -T-The usuwping hewmets of ouw advewsawies! -Make us Thy *pokes you* minyistews of chastisement, -That UwU we may pwaise Thee in the victowy! -To Thee I do commend my watchfuw souw -Ewe I wet faww the windows of minye eyes. -*looks away* Sweeping and waking, O, defend m-me stiww! [Sweeps] - -Entew the G-GHOST Of YOUNG PWINCE EDWAWD, -son to HENWY THE SIXTH - -GHOST. [To WICHAWD] Wet me sit h-heavy on thy souw -to-mowwow! -Think h-how thou stabb'dst :33 me in my pwime of y-youth -At Tewksbuwy; despaiw, thewefowe, and die! -[To WICHMOND] Be cheewfuw, Wichmond; *teleports behind you* fow the wwonged -souws -Of butchew'd pwinces fight in t-thy behawf. -King H-Henwy's issue, Wichmond, comfowts thee. - -Entew the GHOST o-of HENWY THE SIXTH - -G-GHOST. [To WICHAWD] When *hugs tightly* I w-was mowtaw, my a-anyointed -body -x3 By thee was p-punched fuww of deadwy howes. -Think on the Towew and me. x3 Despaiw, and die. -Hawwy the Sixth bids thee despaiw and die. -[To WICHMOND] Viwtuous and howy, b-be thou conquewow! -Hawwy, that pwophesied thou shouwdst be King, -Doth comfowt thee i-in thy s-sweep. Wive and fwouwish! - -Entew *screams* the GHOST of CWAWENCE - -^.^ GHOST. [To *teleports behind you* WICHAWD] W-Wet me sit ^.^ heavy *twerks* in thy souw -to-mowwow! I that was x3 wash'd to death w-with fuwsome *shuffles closer* winye, -Poow Cwawence, by thy guiwe betway'd to death! -To-mowwow in t-the b-battwe think o-on me, -And faww thy edgewess *cries* swowd. Despaiw and die! -[To WICHMOND] Thou o-offspwing of the house ^.^ of Wancastew, -The *shuffles closer* wwonged heiws ^-^ of Yowk :33 do pway *shuffles closer* fow thee. -Good a-angews guawd thy battwe! Wive a-and fwouwish! - -E-Entew t-the GHOSTS of WIVEWS, GWEY, and VAUGHAN - -GHOST OF WIVEWS. [-[To WICHAWD] Wet *giggles shyly* me sit heavy in t-thy -souw to-mowwow, -Wivews that d-died at Pomfwet! Despaiw *hugs tightly* and die! -*looks away* GHOST OF GWEY. [To WICHAWD] T-Think upon G-Gwey, and wet -thy souw despaiw! -GHOST *looks away* OF xDD VAUGHAN. *screams* [To *sweats* WICHAWD] Think upon Vaughan, -and with guiwty OwO feaw -Wet f-faww thy wance. Despaiw and ^w^ die! -AWW. [To WICHMOND] Awake, and think ouw w-wwongs in -Wichawd's bosom -Wiww conquew him. Awake and win the *twerks* day. - -E-Entew the >w< GHOST of *twerks* HASTINGS - -GHOST. *shuffles closer* [To WICHAWD] *leans over* Bwoody and guiwty, g-guiwtiwy a-awake, -And i-in a bwoody battwe end thy days! -Think on Wowd Hastings. Despaiw and die. -[To WICHMOND] Quiet untwoubwed souw, awake, awake! -Awm, fight, and c-conquew, fow faiw Engwand's s-sake! - -Entew the G-GHOSTS of the two young *screams* PWINCES - -GHOSTS. [-[To WICHAWD] *shuffles closer* Dweam on thy cousins smothewed in -the Towew. -OwO Wet u-us be wead within thy xDD bosom, *giggles shyly* Wichawd, -And weigh t-thee x3 down to wuin, shame, and death! -*looks away* Thy nyephews' souws bid thee despaiw and die. -[To WICHMOND] Sweep, Wichmond, sweep in p-peace, and -wake in joy; -Good angews guawd thee fwom the boaw's annyoy! -*hugs tightly* Wive, and beget a h-happy w-wace of UwU kings! -Edwawd's unhappy sons do bid thee fwouwish. - -Entew the ^.^ GHOST o-of WADY ANNyE, h-his wife - -GHOST. [To ^w^ WICHAWD] Wichawd, thy w-wife, that wwetched -Annye thy *cuddles you* wife -That nyevew swept a quiet :33 houw w-with thee -^.^ Nyow fiwws thy sweep with pewtuwbations. -To-mowwow in the UwU battwe think on me, -And f-faww t-thy edgewess swowd. Despaiw and d-die. -[To WICHMOND] Thou q-quiet *looks away* souw, >_> sweep t-thou a quiet sweep; -Dweam uWu of success and happy victowy. -:33 Thy advewsawy's wife ^.^ doth pway fow thee. - -Entew the >w< GHOST of ^.^ BUCKINGHAM - -G-GHOST. [To *sweats* WICHAWD] The f-fiwst was I that hewp'd thee -to the cwown; -The wast was I t-that fewt thy *teleports behind you* tywanny. -O, in the *twerks* battwe think on Buckingham, -And die in tewwow o-of ^w^ thy g-guiwtinyess! -Dweam on, dweam on of bwoody d-deeds and death; -Fainting, despaiw; *screams* despaiwing, ;;w;; yiewd *hugs tightly* thy bweath! -[-[To WICHMOND] *leans over* I died :33 fow hope e-ewe I *moans* couwd wend thee aid; -But cheew thy heawt and be *looks at you* thou nyot dismay'd: -God and *looks at you* good angews fight on Wichmond's side; -And Wichawd fawws in height of aww his p-pwide. -[The GHOSTS vanyish. WICHAWD stawts *giggles shyly* out of h-his dweam] -KING >_> WICHAWD. Give me anyothew howse. Bind up my wounds. -Have mewcy, Jesu! Soft! I did but dweam. -O cowawd conscience, how d-dost thou affwict me! -The wights >_> buwn *pokes you* bwue. It is *sweats* nyow dead midnyight. -Cowd feawfuw d-dwops stand on m-my ^-^ twembwing fwesh. -*cries* What *blushes* do I feaw? Mysewf? Thewe's nyonye UwU ewse by. -Wichawd woves Wichawd; that is, I am I. -Is thewe *moans* a muwdewew hewe? Nyo-yes, I am. -Then fwy. What, fwom mysewf? G-Gweat weason why- -West I wevenge. What, mysewf upon mysewf! -Awack, I wove mysewf. Whewefowe? *pokes you* Fow any good -*teleports behind you* That I mysewf have donye unto :3 mysewf? -*notices bulge* O, nyo! >_> Awas, I wathew :33 hate mysewf -Fow hatefuw deeds x3 committed *looks away* by m-mysewf! -*moans* I am *twerks* a viwwain; yet I wie, :33 I am nyot. -Foow, of thysewf *blushes* speak weww. Foow, do *hugs tightly* nyot *moans* fwattew. -My conscience h-hath *leans over* a thousand s-sevewaw tongues, -*screams* And evewy tongue bwings *leans over* in a sevewaw tawe, -And evewy ;;w;; tawe condemns me fow a viwwain. -Pewjuwy, pewjuwy, in ;;w;; the h-high'st degwee; -*moans* Muwdew, stewn muwdew, in the *sweats* diw'st degwee; -Aww sevewaw sins, aww us'd :33 in each degwee, -Thwong to the b-baw, cwying aww '-'Guiwty! guiwty!' -I shaww d-despaiw. *blushes* Thewe i-is nyo cweatuwe woves *cuddles you* me; -And if I-I die nyo s-souw wiww pity me: -And whewefowe s-shouwd they, since that I *pokes you* mysewf -Find ^w^ in ^w^ mysewf n-nyo pity to m-mysewf? -*twerks* Methought *cries* the souws of aww that I-I had muwdew'd -Came to my tent, and evewy onye *giggles shyly* did thweat -To-mowwow's vengeance on *shuffles closer* the head of >w< Wichawd. - -E-Entew W-WATCWIFF - -:33 WATCWIFF. My wowd! -KING WICHAWD. Zounds, who is thewe? -WATCWIFF. Watcwiff, m-my wowd; 'tis I. The *hugs tightly* eawwy v-viwwage-cock -Hath *sighs* twice ^w^ donye s-sawutation to t-the m-mown; -Y-Youw fwiends awe up and buckwe on theiw awmouw. -KING WICHAWD. O OwO Watcwiff, I have *shuffles closer* dweam'd a-a *cries* feawfuw dweam! -xDD What think'st thou-wiww ouw fwiends p-pwove aww twue? -W-WATCWIFF. Nyo doubt, my w-wowd. -KING WICHAWD. O Watcwiff, I feaw, >w< I feaw. -WATCWIFF. Nyay, g-good my wowd, b-be nyot a-afwaid of shadows. -KING W-WICHAWD OwO By the apostwe Pauw, *leans over* shadows to-nyight -*screams* Have stuck mowe tewwow t-to >w< the souw of W-Wichawd -Than can the substance >_> of ten thousand sowdiews -A-Awmed i-in pwoof and wed by shawwow Wichmond. -'Tis *screams* nyot yet nyeaw day. Come, go with m-me; -Undew ouw tents I'ww pway the eaves-dwoppew, -T-To see if *screams* any mean >_< to shwink f-fwom me. Exeunt - -Entew t-the WOWDS to WICHMOND sitting i-in his t-tent - -WOWDS. Good UwU mowwow, Wichmond! -WICHMOND. C-Cwy *twerks* mewcy, wowds and watchfuw g-gentwemen, -That you have ta'en a tawdy *moans* swuggawd hewe. -WOWDS. How have you swept, my w-wowd? -WICHMOND. The sweetest s-sweep and faiwest-boding dweams -*pokes you* That evew *shuffles closer* ent'wed in a dwowsy head -Have I-I since youw d-depawtuwe had, :33 my x3 wowds. -Methought theiw souws whose bodies ^.^ Wichawd muwdew'd -Came to ^-^ my tent and cwied on victowy. -I pwomise you my souw i-is vewy jocund -*giggles shyly* In the wemembwance of so *cries* faiw a dweam. -How faw ^w^ into the mownying is it, xDD wowds? -WOWDS. Upon the s-stwoke of fouw. -WICHMOND. Why, *moans* then ^-^ 'tis time to awm and give ^.^ diwection. - -^w^ His OWATION to his SOWDIEWS - -^.^ Mowe than I have *pokes you* said, woving countwymen, -The weisuwe and enfowcement of *sighs* the time -Fowbids to dweww upon; yet wemembew this: -God and ouw good cause fight upon ouw side; ->_> The pwayews o-of howy saints and wwonged souws, -Wike high-weaw'd buwwawks, stand *leans over* befowe o-ouw faces; -Wichawd except, those whom we fight against -Had wathew *notices bulge* have us win than him >_< they x3 fowwow. -Fow *pokes you* what is he *hugs tightly* they fowwow? T-Twuwy, gentwemen, -A-A bwoody tywant and a x3 homicide; -Onye wais'd in bwood, and *blushes* onye in bwood estabwish'd; -*teleports behind you* Onye that made means to come by what h-he hath, -A-And swaughtewed those that wewe the means to hewp him; -A base fouw stonye, made *notices bulge* pwecious b-by t-the foiw -Of *hugs tightly* Engwand's chaiw, whewe he is fawsewy set; -Onye t-that hath evew b-been God's enyemy. -Then *looks at you* if you fight against *blushes* God's e-enyemy, -God wiww in x3 justice w-wawd you as *twerks* his sowdiews; -If you do sweat to ^-^ put a tywant down, -You *cuddles you* sweep in peace, the tywant b-being swain; -If you *sighs* do ^w^ fight against youw countwy's foes, -Youw *cuddles you* countwy's foes shaww pay youw pains the hiwe; -I-If you do fight in safeguawd of youw wives, -Youw wives shaww wewcome home the conquewows; -If you do fwee youw *notices bulge* chiwdwen fwom the *sighs* swowd, -Youw chiwdwen's chiwdwen quits it in youw age. -:33 Then, i-in >w< the nyame of God and a-aww these wights, -*looks at you* Advance youw standawds, uWu dwaw *notices bulge* youw wiwwing swowds. -Fow me, the wansom of my bowd attempt -Shaww b-be this c-cowd cowpse on the eawth's cowd face; -But *teleports behind you* if *giggles shyly* I thwive, the gain of my a-attempt -The w-weast of you shaww shawe his pawt theweof. -Sound UwU dwums and twumpets bowdwy and cheewfuwwy; -uWu God a-and S-Saint Geowge! Wichmond and victowy! :3 Exeunt - -We-entew *moans* KING WICHAWD, WATCWIFF, a-attendants, -and fowces - -KING WICHAWD. W-What said :33 Nyowthumbewwand as touching -Wichmond? -WATCWIFF. That he was nyevew *cuddles you* twainyed up in awms. -KING WICHAWD. *teleports behind you* He s-said the twuth; and what said ^w^ Suwwey -then? -WATCWIFF. He smiw'd, and said *shuffles closer* 'The bettew fow *hugs tightly* ouw puwpose.' -KING He was i-in the wight; and so indeed it :33 is. -[Cwock stwikes] -Teww the cwock thewe. Give me *blushes* a *shuffles closer* cawendaw. -Who saw t-the sun to-day? -W-WATCWIFF. Nyot ^.^ I, my wowd. -KING WICHAWD. Then he disdains *looks away* to UwU shinye; fow by the book -He shouwd *blushes* have bwav'd the east >_> an houw ago. -A bwack d-day wiww it be t-to somebody. -W-Watcwiff! -WATCWIFF. My wowd? -xDD KING W-WICHAWD. The sun uWu wiww nyot be seen to-day; -The >_> sky doth fwown and wouw :3 upon ouw awmy. -*hugs tightly* I *hugs tightly* wouwd these dewy teaws wewe fwom the gwound. -Nyot s-shinye xDD to-day! Why, what is that to me -Mowe than to Wichmond? F-Fow the s-sewfsame *cries* heaven -That fwowns on me wooks sadwy upon h-him. - -Entew NyOWFOWK - -NyOWFOWK. A-Awm, awm, my wowd; *blushes* the foe v-vaunts in t-the fiewd. -KING W-WICHAWD. Come, bustwe, bustwe; capawison my howse; -Caww uWu up Wowd Stanwey, bid him bwing his powew. -I wiww wead fowth my *cuddles you* sowdiews to the p-pwain, -And thus my battwe shaww be owdewed: -*notices bulge* My fowewawd s-shaww be dwawn out aww in wength, -Consisting e-equawwy *teleports behind you* of howse and foot; -O-Ouw uWu awchews shaww be pwaced in the midst. -John D-Duke of *twerks* Nyowfowk, Thomas Eaww o-of Suwwey, -Shaww have the weading of this f-foot and howse. -T-They thus diwected, we wiww f-fowwow -I-In the main battwe, whose puissance o-on *looks at you* eithew side -OwO Shaww be weww *screams* winged with ouw chiefest howse. -^-^ This, and Saint Geowge to boot! What think'st *leans over* thou, -Nyowfowk? -NyOWFOWK. *shuffles closer* A good diwection, wawwike soveweign. -This found I-I on OwO my t-tent this mownying. -[He sheweth him a papew] -KING WICHAWD. [Weads] -'Jockey of Nyowfowk, be nyot so bowd, -Fow *shuffles closer* Dickon thy m-mastew *moans* is bought and sowd.' -A t-thing devised by the enyemy. -Go, gentwemen, ^-^ evewy man unto his chawge. -Wet nyot ouw babbwing dweams *giggles shyly* affwight ouw souws; -Conscience i-is but a *leans over* wowd that cowawds use, -Devis'd at fiwst >_> to *shuffles closer* keep the stwong in a-awe. -Ouw stwong *blushes* awms be ouw conscience, :33 swowds x3 ouw waw. -Mawch on, join bwavewy, wet us to it peww-meww; -If nyot t-to heaven, then hand in hand to heww. - -H-His OWATION to his AWMY - -What shaww I say mowe than I-I h-have infeww'd? -Wemembew whom you a-awe to cope withaw- -A *cries* sowt of vagabonds, wascaws, x3 and wunyaways, -A scum of Bwitainyes, and base wackey peasants, -Whom theiw o'ew-cwoyed countwy vomits fowth -To despewate adventuwes and a-assuw'd destwuction. -You sweeping safe, they b-bwing to >_> you unwest; -You having wands, a-and bwess'd with beauteous wives, -They *blushes* wouwd westwain the o-onye, distain the othew. -And who doth wead them but a *moans* pawtwy fewwow, -Wong ^w^ kept in Bwitainye at ouw mothew's cost? -A miwk-sop, onye that nyevew ^w^ in h-his wife -F-Fewt so m-much cowd as ovew shoes *looks at you* in snyow? -Wet's whip these stwaggwews o'ew the seas again; -Wash hence these ovew-weenying wags of Fwance, -These famish'd beggaws, weawy o-of theiw x3 wives; -Who, but fow d-dweaming on t-this fond expwoit, -Fow want of m-means, poow wats, had *shuffles closer* hang'd themsewves. -If we be conquewed, wet *blushes* men conquew us, -And nyot these bastawd Bwitainyes, whom ouw fathews -Have in x3 theiw own wand *shuffles closer* beaten, bobb'd, and thump'd, -And, in wecowd, weft them the heiws of shame. -Shaww these enjoy ouw wands? wie with ouw wives, -W-Wavish o-ouw daughtews? [Dwum ;;w;; afaw off] Hawk! *blushes* I heaw t-theiw -dwum. -F-Fight, gentwemen of Engwand! Fight, bowd yeomen! -Dwaw, awchews, :3 dwaw youw ^-^ awwows to t-the head! -Spuw youw *screams* pwoud *sighs* howses hawd, and wide OwO in *sweats* bwood; -Amaze the wewkin with UwU youw bwoken staves! - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -What says Wowd Stanwey? Wiww he bwing *giggles shyly* his p-powew? -MESSENGEW. My wowd, he doth deny to *twerks* come. -K-KING WICHAWD. O-Off with his son Geowge's head! -*notices bulge* NyOWFOWK. >_> My wowd, the enyemy is pass'd the mawsh. -Aftew *shuffles closer* the b-battwe wet Geowge :3 Stanwey *leans over* die. -KING WICHAWD. A t-thousand heawts awe gweat within my -bosom. -Advance ouw standawds, *looks at you* set upon ouw f-foes; -Ouw ancient wowd of couwage, faiw Saint Geowge, -*screams* Inspiwe us with the ;;w;; spween of *sweats* fiewy dwagons! -U-Upon t-them! Victowy sits o-on *giggles shyly* ouw >_< hewms. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 4. - -Anyothew pawt uWu of the fiewd - -Awawum; excuwsions. Entew NyOWFOWK and fowces; t-to him CATESBY - -CATESBY. Wescue, my W-Wowd of Nyowfowk, wescue, wescue! -The King enyacts >_< mowe wondews than a man, -Dawing an opposite to e-evewy dangew. -His howse is swain, and aww *looks away* on foot h-he *cuddles you* fights, -Seeking fow W-Wichmond in the thwoat *hugs tightly* of death. -Wescue, >w< faiw wowd, ow ewse the day is wost. - -Awawums. Entew KING WICHAWD - -KING WICHAWD. A howse! a h-howse! my kingdom fow a uWu howse! ->w< CATESBY. Withdwaw, my wowd! xDD I'ww hewp you to a h-howse. -K-KING WICHAWD. Swave, I have set my wife upon a cast -And I Wiww *teleports behind you* stand the h-hazawd of the die. -I-I think ^w^ thewe be six Wichmonds in the fiewd; ->_< Five have I-I swain to-day instead of >w< him. -A howse! a h-howse! my kingdom fow a howse! ^-^ Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 5. - -Anyothew pawt of the fiewd - -Awawum. Entew WICHAWD and WICHMOND; they fight; WICHAWD i-is swain. -Wetweat and fwouwish. *notices bulge* Entew WICHMOND, DEWBY beawing the cwown, -w-with othew WOWDS - -WICHMOND. God and youw awms be pwais'd, victowious fwiends; -The day i-is *cuddles you* ouws, the b-bwoody dog is *cries* dead. -DEWBY. Couwageous OwO Wichmond, w-weww *twerks* hast thou *looks at you* acquit OwO thee! -Wo, hewe, this wong-usuwped ^w^ woyawty -Fwom the dead tempwes *sighs* of >_< this bwoody wwetch -^.^ Have I-I pwuck'd off, to gwace thy bwows withaw. -W-Weaw it, enjoy it, a-and make m-much of it. -WICHMOND. Gweat God of heaven, say Amen t-to *sweats* aww! -But, teWW me is *looks at you* young G-Geowge Stanwey wiving. -DEWBY. He is, my wowd, uWu and s-safe in Weicestew town, -Whithew, i-if it pwease you, we may n-nyow withdwaw us. -WICHMOND. What men of nyame awe swain >_> on eithew side? -DEWBY. John OwO Duke of Nyowfowk, Wawtew Wowd Fewwews, -Siw Wobewt Bwakenbuwy, and Siw Wiwwiam Bwandon. -WICHMOND. Intew theiw bodies as becomes theiw biwths. -Pwocwaim a-a pawdon *sweats* to the sowdiews fwed -*leans over* That in *giggles shyly* submission wiww wetuwn to us. -And ;;w;; then, as we have ta'en the sacwament, -We wiww unyite the white wose and t-the wed. -Smiwe heaven upon this f-faiw conjunction, -That *leans over* wong have f-fwown'd upon theiw emnyity! -What twaitow heaws me, and says *cuddles you* nyot Amen? -Engwand hath w-wong been mad, and >w< scaww'd hewsewf; -T-The bwothew OwO bwindwy s-shed the bwothew's bwood, -The fathew w-washwy swaughtew'd h-his own son, -T-The s-son, compeww'd, been butchew to the siwe; -Aww this divided Yowk and Wancastew, -Divided in theiw diwe division, -O, nyow wet *notices bulge* Wichmond and E-Ewizabeth, -The twue s-succeedews *cuddles you* of *blushes* each woyaw h-house, -B-By God's *shuffles closer* faiw owdinyance conjoin togethew! -And wet theiw h-heiws, G-God, i-if thy xDD wiww b-be so, -^-^ Enwich xDD the time to come with smooth-fac'd peace, -With smiwing p-pwenty, and faiw pwospewous days! -Abate the :3 edge of twaitows, gwacious W-Wowd, -T-That wouwd weduce these bwoody days again -A-And make poow Engwand weep UwU in stweams :3 of bwood! -Wet them nyot wive to t-taste this wand's i-incwease -That wouwd w-with t-tweason wound *twerks* this faiw wand's peace! -*cries* Nyow civiw w-wounds awe stopp'd, peace wives again- -T-That she may wong *looks away* wive hewe, God say Amen! Exeunt - -THE *hugs tightly* END - - - -*shuffles closer* <> - - - - - -1595 - - -THE TWAGEDY OF WOMEO ^-^ AND JUWIET - -by W-Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -D-Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -Chowus. - -Escawus, Pwince of Vewonya. -P-Pawis, a young Count, kinsman to the Pwince. -Montague, heads *looks at you* of two houses a-at vawiance with each othew. -Capuwet, heads of t-two houses at vawiance with :33 each othew. -An owd *looks away* Man, of the Capuwet f-famiwy. -*sweats* Womeo, son to *twerks* Montague. -x3 Tybawt, nyephew to Wady Capuwet. -*giggles shyly* Mewcutio, >_> kinsman to the Pwince a-and fwiend t-to Womeo. -Benvowio, n-nyephew to Montague, and f-fwiend to Womeo -Tybawt, n-nyephew to Wady Capuwet. -Fwiaw Wauwence, Fwanciscan. -Fwiaw John, Fwanciscan. -Bawthasaw, sewvant to Womeo. -A-Abwam, s-sewvant to Montague. -Sampson, sewvant to Capuwet. -Gwegowy, sewvant to Capuwet. -P-Petew, sewvant to Juwiet's nyuwse. -An Apothecawy. -Thwee Musicians. -An >_< Officew. - -Wady Montague, wife *notices bulge* to Montague. -Wady Capuwet, wife to Capuwet. -Juwiet, daughtew to Capuwet. -Nyuwse ;;w;; to Juwiet. - -Citizens *giggles shyly* of Vewonya; Gentwemen and Gentwewomen of both houses; -Maskews, Towchbeawews, P-Pages, Guawds, Watchmen, Sewvants, and -Attendants. - -SCENyE.--Vewonya; Mantua. - - - -THE PWOWOGUE - -E-Entew *screams* Chowus. - -Chow. Two househowds, both >_< awike in dignyity, -In faiw Vewonya, ^.^ whewe we way *leans over* ouw s-scenye, -Fwom ancient gwudge bweak to nyew mutiny, -Whewe :33 civiw b-bwood makes c-civiw hands uncwean. -Fwom fowth the *notices bulge* fataw w-woins :3 of these two foes -A paiw of *blushes* staw-cwoss'd wovews take theiw wife; -Whose misadventuw'd piteous ovewthwows -Doth with theiw death buwy theiw pawents' stwife. -The feawfuw passage of ^-^ theiw death-mawk'd wove, -And the c-continyuance of theiw pawents' wage, -Which, but *notices bulge* theiw chiwdwen's *twerks* end, nyaught couwd wemove, -Is n-nyow the two houws' >_> twaffic of ouw stage; -*sighs* The which if you with *blushes* patient eaws a-attend, ->w< What *cries* hewe shaww miss, ouw toiw shaww stwive to mend. -[Exit.] - - - - -<w< THE *notices bulge* COMPWETE W-WOWKS OF W-WIWWIAM -OwO SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND I-IS -PWOVIDED B-BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG E-ETEXT OF *giggles shyly* IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC ^-^ AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD ^w^ TIME OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT I. Scenye I. -Vewonya. A pubwic pwace. - -Entew Sampson and *notices bulge* Gwegowy (with swowds *cries* and buckwews) of *screams* the *cuddles you* house of Capuwet. - -Samp. Gwegowy, on my wowd, we'ww nyot cawwy coaws. -Gweg. Nyo, fow t-then we shouwd be ;;w;; cowwiews. -Samp. I mean, an we be in c-chowew, w-we'ww dwaw. -Gweg. Ay, whiwe *shuffles closer* you ;;w;; wive, dwaw OwO youw nyeck out ^-^ of cowwaw. -Samp. I s-stwike quickwy, xDD being *notices bulge* moved. -G-Gweg. But t-thou awt nyot quickwy moved to stwike. -Samp. A dog of the house o-of Montague moves *blushes* me. -Gweg. To move is to stiw, and to be vawiant is to s-stand. -:3 Thewefowe, if thou awt moved, thou *teleports behind you* wunn'st away. -UwU Samp. A dog of that house shaww m-move *twerks* me to stand. >w< I wiww take the -waww of any man ow m-maid of M-Montague's. -*moans* Gweg. That *teleports behind you* shows thee a weak swave; fow ^-^ the weakest goes to xDD the -waww. -Samp. 'Tis twue; and thewefowe women, being *blushes* the weakew *cries* vessews, *looks away* awe -evew *blushes* thwust OwO to t-the waww. Thewefowe I wiww push M-Montague's men -fwom the waww x3 and thwust his maids to *giggles shyly* the OwO waww. -Gweg. The quawwew is between ouw m-mastews and us theiw m-men. -*shuffles closer* Samp. 'Tis aww onye. I wiww show mysewf a tywant. When I h-have f-fought -with the men, I wiww be cwuew with the OwO maids- I-I wiww cut off -theiw heads. -^.^ Gweg. T-The heads of t-the maids? -Samp. Ay, the heads of the maids, ow theiw maidenheads. -Take it i-in :33 what >_> sense thou wiwt. -Gweg. They OwO must :3 take it in sense that f-feew it. -Samp. Me they :3 shaww f-feew w-whiwe I am abwe to *sighs* stand; a-and 'tis knyown I -*hugs tightly* am :3 a pwetty *shuffles closer* piece of fwesh. -G-Gweg. 'Tis weww thou awt nyot *looks at you* fish; if *leans over* thou hadst, thou hadst been -poow-John. D-Dwaw thy toow! Hewe c-comes two of the house of -x3 Montagues. - -Entew *screams* two othew Sewvingmen [Abwam and Bawthasaw]. - -Samp. My n-nyaked *notices bulge* weapon is o-out. Quawwew! OwO I *looks away* wiww back thee. -G-Gweg. How? tuwn thy back and :3 wun? -Samp. Feaw *twerks* me nyot. -Gweg. Nyo, mawwy. I x3 feaw thee! -Samp. Wet us take the waw o-of x3 ouw sides; wet them b-begin. -Gweg. I wiww fwown as I pass by, and *blushes* wet them take it as t-they wist. -Samp. Nyay, as they dawe. I-I wiww bite my thumb at them; which i-is -disgwace to xDD them, OwO if they beaw it. -A-Abw. Do *sweats* you b-bite youw thumb at us, *looks at you* siw? -Samp. I d-do bite my thumb, >_> siw. -Abw. xDD Do you bite youw thumb at us, s-siw? -^-^ Samp. [aside to Gwegowy] Is the waw of ouw side if I say ay? -Gweg. [aside to Sampson] Nyo. -S-Samp. Nyo, siw, I do *hugs tightly* nyot bite my thumb at you, *blushes* siw; but I bite my -t-thumb, siw. -Gweg. D-Do you quawwew, siw? -*blushes* Abw. Quawwew, s-siw? Nyo, s-siw. -Samp. But i-if you do, siw, am fow you. I sewve a-as good a ^.^ man as you. -Abw. Nyo b-bettew. -Samp. :3 Weww, siw. - -Entew Benvowio. - -Gweg. [aside to Sampson] Say xDD 'bettew.' H-Hewe xDD comes onye of m-my -mastew's kinsmen. -Samp. Yes, bettew, *notices bulge* siw. -Abw. uWu You wie. -Samp. Dwaw, *screams* if you be men. Gwegowy, wemembew thy swashing bwow. -They f-fight. -Ben. Pawt, foows! [Beats *teleports behind you* down theiw swowds.] -Put up youw *sighs* swowds. *giggles shyly* You knyow nyot what you do. - -*screams* Entew Tybawt. - -Tyb. What, a-awt thou dwawn >w< among t-these heawtwess hinds? -Tuwn thee Benvowio! *sweats* wook >w< upon thy d-death. -Ben. I do but keep the peace. ^-^ Put up thy swowd, -Ow m-manyage it to pawt *sweats* these men with me. -Tyb. What, dwawn, and tawk >w< of peace? I hate the wowd -As I hate heww, aww M-Montagues, >_< and thee. -*hugs tightly* Have ^-^ at thee, *hugs tightly* cowawd! They fight. - -Entew an officew, and thwee ow f-fouw Citizens with cwubs ow -*shuffles closer* pawtisans. - -O-Officew. C-Cwubs, biwws, and pawtisans! Stwike! *shuffles closer* beat t-them d-down! -Citizens. Down with the :3 Capuwets! Down *shuffles closer* with the Montagues! - -Entew Owd Capuwet i-in his g-gown, and his Wife. - -*cuddles you* Cap. What nyoise is this? Give me my wong swowd, ho! -Wife. A cwutch, a cwutch! W-Why caww you fow x3 a *screams* swowd? -Cap. M-My swowd, I say! Owd M-Montague is c-come -And fwouwishes his bwade uWu in spite o-of me. - -Entew Owd Montague and his W-Wife. - -Mon. Thou viwwain Capuwet!- Howd me nyot, wet me go. -M. Wife. Thou shawt nyot stiw onye foot to s-seek a foe. - -Entew Pwince Escawus, with his Twain. - -Pwince. *moans* Webewwious subjects, enyemies to peace, -Pwofanyews of *looks away* this *teleports behind you* nyeighbouw-stainyed :3 steew- -*pokes you* Wiww they nyot *cuddles you* heaw? What, ho! y-you men, you beasts, -That quench the fiwe of youw p-pewnyicious wage -W-With p-puwpwe fountains issuing fwom youw veins! -O-On *cries* pain of towtuwe, fwom those bwoody hands -Thwow youw mistempewed weapons to the gwound -And heaw the *looks away* sentence of OwO youw moved pwince. -Thwee civiw b-bwawws, bwed of an a-aiwy wowd -By thee, :33 owd Capuwet, and Montague, -H-Have thwice distuwb'd the *hugs tightly* quiet of ouw stweets -And m-made Vewonya's ancient citizens -Cast b-by *giggles shyly* theiw gwave beseeming ownyaments -To wiewd owd p-pawtisans, *looks at you* in hands as owd, -Cank'wed with peace, t-to pawt youw cank'wed hate. -If *twerks* evew y-you distuwb >w< ouw stweets again, -Youw wives :3 shaww pay the fowfeit >_< of the peace. -Fow this :33 time aww *hugs tightly* the west depawt away. -You, >_> Capuwet, shaww go awong with me; -*twerks* And, Montague, uWu come you this aftewnyoon, -To knyow ouw fawthew pweasuwe in t-this case, -To owd Fweetown, ouw common judgment pwace. -Once mowe, on pain of death, aww men depawt. -Exeunt [aww but M-Montague, his Wife, and Benvowio]. -Mon. Who set t-this ancient quawwew nyew ^w^ abwoach? -*blushes* Speak, nyephew, w-wewe you b-by when it began? -Ben. Hewe wewe the sewvants of youw *blushes* advewsawy -And youws, cwose *notices bulge* fighting ewe *teleports behind you* I d-did appwoach. -I dwew to >_< pawt them. *screams* In *sighs* the instant came -T-The fiewy Tybawt, with his swowd pwepaw'd; -Which, as he b-bweath'd defiance to my e-eaws, -He s-swung about his *teleports behind you* head and c-cut the winds, ->_> Who, nyothing huwt withaw, hiss'd *teleports behind you* him in scown. -Whiwe we *looks away* wewe intewchanging t-thwusts a-and bwows, -Came mowe and mowe, and fought on pawt and pawt, -Tiww the Pwince c-came, who ^.^ pawted eithew pawt. -M. Wife. O, :3 whewe is Womeo? Saw *blushes* you >_< him to-day? -W-Wight gwad *teleports behind you* I am he was nyot at t-this fway. -Ben. ^-^ Madam, an xDD houw *cries* befowe the *giggles shyly* wowshipp'd sun -Peew'd fowth the gowden window of the East, -A twoubwed mind dwave me t-to wawk abwoad; -W-Whewe, *shuffles closer* undewnyeath the gwove o-of sycamowe -That westwawd wooteth fwom *sighs* the city's *leans over* side, -So eawwy wawking did *sighs* I see x3 youw son. -Towawds him I made; b-but he was wawe of me -And *teleports behind you* stowe i-into >_> the c-covewt o-of the wood. -*cries* I- measuwing his :3 affections by my own, -*looks away* Which then *leans over* most >_< sought whewe most might nyot be found, -Being o-onye too m-many by my w-weawy sewf- -Puwsu'd my *cuddles you* humouw, nyot Puwsuing his, -And gwadwy shunn'd who *sweats* gwadwy fwed fwom me. -Mon. Many a mownying hath he thewe b-been seen, -xDD With teaws *teleports behind you* augmenting the fwesh mownying's dew, -Adding to cwouds *sighs* mowe cwouds with >_< his d-deep sighs; -;;w;; But aww so soon as the aww-cheewing sun -*cries* Shouwd in the fawthest East bean to dwaw -*looks away* The shady cuwtains *shuffles closer* fwom Auwowa's ;;w;; bed, -Away fwom wight steaws *hugs tightly* home my ;;w;; heavy son -*teleports behind you* And pwivate in h-his chambew pens himsewf, -:3 Shuts ^.^ up his windows, wocks faiw daywight -And makes *looks at you* himsewf a-an awtificiaw nyight. -Bwack and powtentous must this humouw pwove -Unwess good counsew may the cause wemove. -Ben. *cries* My nyobwe uncwe, d-do you knyow the cause? -Mon. I nyeithew knyow it nyow can weawn of him -Ben. Have you *pokes you* impowtun'd h-him by any means? -Mon. Both by mysewf and m-many othew f-fwiend; -B-But he, *teleports behind you* his >_> own affections' counsewwow, -Is to himsewf- *looks at you* I wiww nyot say *hugs tightly* how twue- -But to himsewf so secwet *leans over* and s-so cwose, -So faw fwom *sighs* sounding and discovewy, -As is the bud bit with an envious wowm -Ewe h-he can *sweats* spwead his sweet *screams* weaves to the aiw -Ow dedicate ^-^ his beauty to t-the sun. -*blushes* Couwd we b-but weawn fwom whence his sowwows gwow, -We wouwd a-as wiwwingwy give cuwe a-as knyow. - -Entew Womeo. - -Ben. See, whewe he comes. So pwease you step aside, -I'ww knyow his *hugs tightly* gwievance, ow be much UwU denyied. -Mon. I w-wouwd t-thou wewt s-so happy by thy stay -To h-heaw twue shwift. Come, madam, wet's away, -E-Exeunt ^.^ [Montague and Wife]. -Ben. Good mowwow, *sweats* cousin. -OwO Wom. Is *looks at you* the day so young? -Ben. B-But nyew stwuck nyinye. -Wom. Ay me! :33 sad h-houws seem wong. -W-Was that my *moans* fathew that went hence s-so xDD fast? -Ben. It was. What uWu sadnyess wengthens Womeo's houws? -Wom. N-Nyot having that *sweats* which ;;w;; having makes them showt. -Ben. I-In wove? -Wom. Out- -*hugs tightly* Ben. *shuffles closer* Of wove? -Wom. Out of hew favouw *twerks* whewe I-I am i-in wove. -Ben. Awas that wove, so gentwe in his view, -Shouwd be ;;w;; so tywannyous and wough *sweats* in pwoof! -W-Wom. Awas that w-wove, *sighs* whose view is muffwed stiww, -uWu Shouwd without eyes see pathways to his wiww! -Whewe shaww w-we dinye? O me! What >w< fway was hewe? -Y-Yet teww me nyot, fow I >_< have x3 heawd it aww. -Hewe's much to do with hate, but *screams* mowe with wove. -Why t-then, O bwawwing wove! O woving hate! -O anything, of nyothing fiwst cweate! -O heavy w-wightnyess! sewious vanyity! -Misshapen chaos of weww-seeming fowms! -Feathew xDD of wead, bwight smoke, cowd f-fiwe, s-sick heawth! -Stiww-waking sweep, that is nyot what it i-is -This wove feew I-I, that f-feew nyo wove in this. -*blushes* Dost thou n-nyot waugh? -Ben. Nyo, coz, *giggles shyly* I wathew weep. -Wom. Good heawt, at what? -Ben. At *twerks* thy good heawt's oppwession. -Wom. Why, such is w-wove's t-twansgwession. -Gwiefs of minye own wie heavy in my bweast, -Which *hugs tightly* thou wiwt pwopagate, >_< to have it pwest -W-With mowe o-of thinye. This wove that thou hast shown -*twerks* Doth add mowe gwief to too much of minye own. -Wove :3 is a *notices bulge* smoke wais'd *cuddles you* with t-the fume of s-sighs; -Being puwg'd, *moans* a fiwe spawkwing in wovews' eyes; -Being vex'd, a s-sea nyouwish'd with *looks away* wovews' teaws. -What is *moans* it ewse? A madnyess most discweet, -A-A choking *moans* gaww, a-and a p-pwesewving >_> sweet. -Faweweww, my coz. -Ben. Soft! I wiww go a-awong. -A-An i-if *teleports behind you* you UwU weave m-me *sweats* so, you UwU do me wwong. -Wom. Tut! I have wost mysewf; I *looks at you* am ;;w;; nyot hewe: -T-This *pokes you* is nyot Womeo, *looks away* he's some othew whewe. -:3 Ben. xDD Teww me i-in xDD sadnyess, *teleports behind you* who is that you wove? -*looks at you* Wom. What, s-shaww I gwoan and teww t-thee? -B-Ben. Gwoan? Why, nyo; -But s-sadwy teww m-me who. -*moans* Wom. Bid ;;w;; a sick man i-in s-sadnyess m-make his wiww. -Ah, wowd *sweats* iww uwg'd to onye OwO that *shuffles closer* is so uWu iww! -In sadnyess, cousin, *teleports behind you* I do wove >w< a woman. -Ben. I aim'd so *giggles shyly* nyeaw when I-I suppos'd you wov'd. -Wom. A wight g-good mawkman! And she's f-faiw I-I wove. -Ben. A wight f-faiw mawk, faiw coz, is soonyest h-hit. -Wom. W-Weww, in *leans over* that hit you miss. She'ww n-nyot be hit -With Cupid's awwow. She hath Dian's wit, -And, in x3 stwong pwoof of *cries* chastity weww awm'd, -Fwom W-Wove's weak OwO chiwdish bow *sweats* she *sighs* wives unhawm'd. -S-She wiww nyot s-stay the *hugs tightly* siege o-of woving t-tewms, -Nyow bide th' encountew of assaiwing e-eyes, -Nyow ope hew wap to saint-seducing ^-^ gowd. -O, s-she's wich in beauty; onwy poow -That, :33 when she dies, with beauty dies hew s-stowe. -Ben. Then she hath swown ^.^ that she OwO wiww stiww wive chaste? -Wom. She h-hath, and in that s-spawing makes huge waste; -F-Fow b-beauty, stawv'd with h-hew sevewity, -Cuts beauty off fwom ;;w;; aww postewity. -She is too f-faiw, too wise, wisewy too ^-^ faiw, -To mewit :3 bwiss :3 by making me despaiw. -She hath fowswown *twerks* to wove, and in *sighs* that vow -Do I-I wive dead that w-wive OwO to teww it nyow. -Ben. Be wuw'd by me: fowget to think of hew. -*notices bulge* Wom. O-O, teach me how I *giggles shyly* shouwd fowget to think! -Ben. By g-giving wibewty unto thinye eyes. -*hugs tightly* Examinye ^w^ othew beauties. -Wom. 'Tis the way -T-To ^-^ caww hews (exquisite) in question mowe. -These h-happy masks that kiss faiw wadies' bwows, -Being b-bwack puts us in mind they hide the *notices bulge* faiw. -He t-that is stwucken bwind *pokes you* cannyot fowget -The pwecious tweasuwe *leans over* of *sighs* his eyesight wost. -Show me a mistwess that *leans over* is p-passing :3 faiw, -What doth hew beauty sewve but as a nyote -Whewe I may w-wead *cries* who pass'd t-that passing faiw? -Faweweww. Thou c-canst nyot t-teach me to fowget. -Ben. I-I'ww pay that >_< doctwinye, ow ewse die in d-debt. Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye I-II. -A Stweet. - -Entew Capuwet, County Pawis, and [Sewvant] -the Cwown. - -Cap. B-But Montague is b-bound as weww as I, -In penyawty awike; and 'tis nyot hawd, I-I think, -Fow men *blushes* so owd as we t-to keep the peace. -*screams* Paw. Of honyouwabwe weckonying *cries* awe you both, -And pity 'tis you wiv'd at odds so wong. -But nyow, my *cuddles you* wowd, what say *cries* you UwU to my suit? -*cries* Cap. But s-saying o'ew what I have said befowe: -My chiwd is yet a stwangew *sighs* in the wowwd, -She *twerks* hath nyot seen the change of fouwteen yeaws; -Wet two mowe summews withew i-in theiw pwide -Ewe we may t-think >_> hew wipe t-to be a bwide. -Paw. Youngew than she awe happy mothews made. -Cap. And too *sighs* soon maww'd awe those so eawwy made. -The eawth hath swawwowed aww my hopes but she; -*teleports behind you* She is the hopefuw wady of my e-eawth. -But woo >_> hew, gentwe Pawis, get hew UwU heawt; -My wiww uWu to h-hew consent is b-but a p-pawt. -An she agwee, within hew scope of choice -Wies my consent and faiw accowding >_> voice. -This nyight I howd an *twerks* owd accustom'd feast, -Wheweto I have i-invited many a guest, -Such as I-I wove; and you among the stowe, -Onye ;;w;; mowe, most wewcome, makes m-my nyumbew mowe. -At m-my poow ^.^ house w-wook to *giggles shyly* behowd this n-nyight -Eawth-tweading staws that m-make d-dawk heaven wight. -Such comfowt as do wusty *notices bulge* young men feew -When weww appaweww'd Apwiw on the heew -Of wimping Wintew tweads, even such >_> dewight -Among fwesh femawe buds *screams* shaww ^w^ you this nyight -Inhewit >_< at my house. Heaw aww, aww see, -And wike hew most whose mewit most shaww be; -Which, on m-mowe view *cuddles you* of many, minye, being *hugs tightly* onye, -May stand in n-nyumbew, t-though in weck'nying n-nyonye. -Come, *notices bulge* go with *cuddles you* me. *pokes you* [To Sewvant, giving him *twerks* a papew] Go, siwwah, -twudge about -Thwough f-faiw Vewonya; find those pewsons out -Whose nyames awe wwitten thewe, and t-to them *pokes you* say, -My house OwO and wewcome o-on theiw *looks at you* pweasuwe stay- -Exeunt [Capuwet and P-Pawis]. -Sewv. Find them o-out whose nyames uWu awe wwitten *twerks* hewe? It is wwitten -that the *pokes you* shoemakew *moans* shouwd meddwe with *sighs* his y-yawd and t-the taiwow -with his wast, *looks away* the fishew with his penciw and the paintew with -his nyets; but I am sent to find those pewsons whose n-nyames a-awe -hewe wwit, and can nyevew find w-what nyames t-the wwiting pewson hath -*giggles shyly* hewe wwit. I must to the weawnyed. In good time! - -Entew *sweats* Benvowio and Womeo. - -Ben. Tut, man, o-onye fiwe buwns out a-anyothew's buwnying; -^w^ Onye pain is >w< wessonyed *moans* by a-anyothew's anguish; -Tuwn *shuffles closer* giddy, and be howp b-by backwawd tuwnying; -Onye d-despewate gwief cuwes with a-anyothew's wanguish. -T-Take thou some *shuffles closer* nyew infection to thy eye, -And *hugs tightly* the wank poison of >w< the owd w-wiww die. -Wom. *sweats* Youw pwantain weaf is excewwent fow that. -Ben. Fow what, I pway thee? -Wom. Fow youw bwoken shin. -*moans* Ben. >w< Why, Womeo, awt thou mad? -*twerks* Wom. Nyot mad, but bound *hugs tightly* mowe than a madman *looks away* is; -Shut up in Pwison, kept *twerks* without my food, -Whipp'd *leans over* and towmented and- God-den, *looks away* good fewwow. -S-Sewv. God gi' g-go-den. I p-pway, siw, can you >_< wead? -Wom. Ay, minye >w< own >_< fowtunye in my ;;w;; misewy. -Sewv. Pewhaps x3 you have weawnyed it without book. But *shuffles closer* I pway, can you -wead anything you :33 see? -W-Wom. ^.^ Ay, If I knyow t-the wettews a-and the wanguage. -S-Sewv. Y-Ye say honyestwy. West you mewwy! -Wom. S-Stay, fewwow; I can wead. H-He w-weads. - -'Signyiow Mawtinyo and his w-wife and daughtews; -County A-Ansewmo ^.^ and his b-beauteous sistews; -*sweats* The wady widow of *notices bulge* Vitwuvio; -S-Signyiow Pwacentio and ^w^ His wovewy nyieces; -Mewcutio and his ;;w;; bwothew Vawentinye; -Minye uncwe Capuwet, his wife, and daughtews; -My *cuddles you* faiw n-nyiece Wosawinye a-and Wivia; -Signyiow Vawentio and His cousin Tybawt; -Wucio and the wivewy Hewenya.' - -[Gives b-back *twerks* the papew.] *notices bulge* A *cuddles you* faiw a-assembwy. Whithew OwO shouwd *blushes* they c-come? -Sewv. Up. -Wom. Whithew? -S-Sewv. To suppew, to ouw *sighs* house. -Wom. x3 Whose *sighs* house? -S-Sewv. My mastew's. -Wom. Indeed *looks at you* I s-shouwd have *looks at you* ask'd you that b-befowe. -S-Sewv. *looks away* Nyow I'ww teww *leans over* you *teleports behind you* without x3 asking. My mastew is the :3 gweat wich -Capuwet; and if you be nyot of the house of Montagues, I pway come -and cwush a cup o-of winye. West you m-mewwy! Exit. -Ben. ;;w;; At this same ancient feast of Capuwet's -*looks at you* Sups ;;w;; the faiw W-Wosawinye whom thou so *cuddles you* wov'st; -With aww the admiwed beauties >w< of Vewonya. -G-Go thithew, and with unyattainted eye -Compawe hew face with some that I shaww show, -And I wiww *cuddles you* make thee *blushes* think t-thy swan a cwow. -Wom. When the devout wewigion of minye eye -Maintains such f-fawsehood, then tuwn teaws to fiwes; -A-And these, who, often dwown'd, couwd nyevew d-die, -Twanspawent hewetics, be buwnt fow wiaws! -Onye faiwew xDD than my wove? The aww-seeing *sweats* sun -Nye'ew saw hew match since fiwst t-the w-wowwd begun. -Ben. Tut! y-you saw hew faiw, nyonye ewse being by, -Hewsewf pois'd with hewsewf in eithew eye; -But in *screams* that cwystaw scawes wet thewe b-be weigh'd -Youw wady's wove *cuddles you* against some othew maid -That I wiww s-show you shinying at this feast, -And she shaww scant show w-weww that ^.^ nyow seems best. -Wom. I'ww go a-awong, nyo such sight to be shown, -But to wejoice in spwendouw of my own. [Exeunt.] - - - - -Scenye III. -*sweats* Capuwet's house. - -Entew Capuwet's W-Wife, and *giggles shyly* Nyuwse. - -Wife. Nyuwse, OwO whewe's *looks at you* my daughtew? Caww h-hew fowth to me. -Nyuwse. Nyow, by my maidenhead at twewve yeaw o-owd, -I bade h-hew come. What, ^w^ wamb! what wadybiwd! -God fowbid! Whewe's this :3 giww? What, *sweats* Juwiet! - -Entew Juwiet. - -Juw. How nyow? *sighs* Who cawws? -Nyuwse. Youw mothew. -Juw. Madam, I am x3 hewe. -What is youw wiww? -Wife. *giggles shyly* This is the mattew- Nyuwse, give weave *sweats* awhiwe, -We must t-tawk i-in secwet. Nyuwse, :33 come back uWu again; -I h-have wememb'wed me, thou's heaw ouw *sweats* counsew. -Thou knyowest my >_> daughtew's of a pwetty age. -Nyuwse. Faith, *sweats* I can teww ^.^ hew age u-unto an houw. -Wife. She's nyot fouwteen. -xDD Nyuwse. I'ww way fouwteen of my *looks away* teeth- -And yet, to my teen be ^w^ it spoken, >_< I have but fouw- -S-She is nyot fouwteen. How wong is *blushes* it nyow -To W-Wammastide? -Wife. A-A fowtnyight *hugs tightly* and odd days. -Nyuwse. Even o-ow odd, of aww days in the yeaw, -Come Wammas Eve at nyight shaww *teleports behind you* she be fouwteen. -Susan and xDD she :33 (God west a-aww *cries* Chwistian souws!) -W-Wewe *twerks* of a-an age. Weww, Susan is with God; -She was *sighs* too good fow me. But, as I-I *moans* said, -On Wammas Eve at nyight shaww she be >_> fouwteen; -That shaww she, mawwy; I wemembew it weww. -*sweats* 'Tis since the xDD eawthquake ^-^ nyow eweven yeaws; -*twerks* And she was *cries* wean'd (I nyevew shaww fowget it), -Of >_> aww >w< the days of the *pokes you* yeaw, upon that day; -Fow I *sighs* had *looks at you* then w-waid wowmwood to my *notices bulge* dug, -S-Sitting in *cuddles you* the sun *looks at you* undew the dovehouse waww. -My wowd and you w-wewe t-then at Mantua. -Nyay, *moans* I do beaw a *pokes you* bwain. But, as I *cries* said, -When it *leans over* did taste the wowmwood on ^-^ the *pokes you* nyippwe -*cries* Of my dug and fewt it b-bittew, pwetty foow, -To see it *cuddles you* tetchy a-and f-faww out with the dug! -S-Shake, quoth the dovehouse! 'Twas nyo nyeed, I twow, -To b-bid me twudge. -And *blushes* since that time it is eweven yeaws, -^.^ Fow t-then she couwd s-stand *sighs* high-wonye; nyay, by th' wood, -S-She couwd have wun and w-waddwed aww about; -*blushes* Fow ^.^ even the day befowe, *sighs* she b-bwoke h-hew bwow; -And then my ^w^ husband (God b-be with h-his s-souw! -'A was a mewwy man) took up the chiwd. -'Yea,' quoth he, 'dost thou faww upon thy xDD face? -Thou wiwt faww backwawd w-when thou hast mowe wit; -Wiwt thou nyot, Juwe?' and, by my h-howidam, -The pwetty wwetch weft cwying, and *cuddles you* said 'Ay.' -To see nyow how a j-jest shaww come about! -I wawwant, *teleports behind you* an I-I shouwd wive a thousand yeas, -I nyevew shouwd fowget it. 'Wiwt t-thou >_> nyot, Juwe?' q-quoth uWu he, -And, *hugs tightly* pwetty foow, it stinted, and said 'Ay.' -Wife. Enyough of this. I pway *looks away* thee h-howd thy peace. -Nyuwse. Yes, madam. Y-Yet *blushes* I *hugs tightly* cannyot choose but waugh -To *cries* think it shouwd w-weave cwying and say 'Ay.' -*teleports behind you* And y-yet, I *sweats* wawwant, *cries* it bad upon it *cuddles you* bwow -A bump as big as a young cock'wew's stonye; -A pewiwous knyock; a-and it *pokes you* cwied bittewwy. -'Yea,' quoth my husband, uWu 'faww'st upon thy face? -Thou wiwt faww backwawd when thou comest to age; -Wiwt thou nyot, Juwe?' It stinted, *teleports behind you* and said 'Ay.' -Juw. A-And stint thou too, *screams* I pway *cuddles you* thee, nyuwse, *looks at you* say I. -*screams* Nyuwse. *pokes you* Peace, I have donye. G-God mawk thee :33 to his :3 gwace! -Thou wast t-the pwettiest babe that :33 e'ew I x3 nyuws'd. -An *moans* I might wive to see *leans over* thee mawwied *hugs tightly* once, I-I have my *looks away* wish. -Wife. Mawwy, that 'mawwy' is the UwU vewy theme -I came to tawk o-of. Teww me, daughtew *looks at you* Juwiet, -How stands youw *giggles shyly* disposition to be mawwied? -uWu Juw. *notices bulge* It ;;w;; is an honyouw that *sighs* I d-dweam nyot :3 of. -Nyuwse. An honyouw? Wewe nyot I t-thinye o-onwy nyuwse, -I wouwd say thou hadst suck'd wisdom fwom thy x3 teat. -Wife. Weww, t-think of mawwiage nyow. Y-Youngew than you, -^.^ Hewe in Vewonya, wadies of e-esteem, -Awe made awweady >w< mothews. By *sighs* my count, -I OwO was youw mothew much upon *sweats* these yeaws -That you awe ^-^ nyow a maid. Thus t-then in bwief: -The vawiant Pawis seeks *looks away* you fow his wove. -Nyuwse. A man, young *leans over* wady! *twerks* wady, *shuffles closer* such a man -As aww the wowwd- why he's a *looks at you* man of wax. -Wife. Vewonya's summew h-hath nyot such :33 a fwowew. -Nyuwse. Nyay, he's a-a fwowew, in faith- a vewy f-fwowew. -Wife. What say you? C-Can you w-wove the gentweman? -This nyight you shaww behowd him at *screams* ouw f-feast. -Wead o-o'ew UwU the vowume >_> of young Pawis' face, -And find dewight wwit thewe with beauty's pen; -*hugs tightly* Examinye evewy mawwied winyeament, -And see h-how onye anyothew xDD wends c-content; ->_< And what obscuw'd in this *teleports behind you* faiw vowume wies -Find wwitten in the m-mawgent of his eyes, -This >_< pwecious *notices bulge* book o-of wove, this :3 unbound *cries* wovew, -To beautify him *giggles shyly* onwy *looks at you* wacks a *screams* covew. -T-The fish wives i-in the sea, a-and *teleports behind you* 'tis *screams* much pwide -Fow faiw without the faiw within to hide. -That book in many's eyes d-doth shawe the gwowy, -That in gowd cwasps wocks ^-^ in the gowden xDD stowy; -*cries* So shaww you ^w^ shawe aww that ^-^ he *shuffles closer* doth possess, -By having him making youwsewf nyo wess. -Nyuwse. Nyo wess? Nyay, :3 biggew! Women gwow by men -Wife. Speak bwiefwy, can ^.^ you wike of Pawis' wove? -Juw. I'ww wook to wike, if wooking wiking move; -But nyo mowe deep wiww I e-endawt minye eye -x3 Than y-youw consent gives stwength to m-make it fwy. - -Entew Sewvingman. - -Sewv. UwU Madam, the guests awe come, suppew sewv'd up, you caww'd, my -*leans over* young wady *sighs* ask'd fow, ;;w;; the n-nyuwse c-cuws'd x3 in t-the pantwy, and -evewything *blushes* in *blushes* extwemity. I must hence to wait. I >_< beseech you -fowwow s-stwaight. -Wife. We fowwow thee. Exit [Sewvingman]. -Juwiet, the County stays. -N-Nyuwse. Go, giww, s-seek happy n-nyights to happy d-days. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye IV. -A stweet. - -Entew Womeo, Mewcutio, Benvowio, with five ow six othew Maskews; Towchbeawews. - -Wom. What, shaww this speech be spoke f-fow o-ouw excuse? -Ow shaww we on without apowogy? -Ben. The date *looks at you* is *notices bulge* out *teleports behind you* of such :33 pwowixity. -We'ww have n-nyo Cupid hoodwink'd with a s-scawf, -Beawing a Tawtaw's painted bow of wath, -Scawing t-the wadies wike a c-cwowkeepew; -Nyow nyo without-book pwowogue, *looks away* faintwy spoke -Aftew the pwomptew, fow >_> ouw entwance; -^-^ But, wet them measuwe us by what they ^-^ wiww, -We'ww measuwe them a-a measuwe, and be gonye. -Wom. Give me a towch. I a-am nyot fow this *sweats* ambwing. -Being but h-heavy, I wiww beaw *leans over* the wight. -Mew. *hugs tightly* Nyay, g-gentwe *looks at you* Womeo, we must h-have you ;;w;; dance. -W-Wom. *cries* Nyot I-I, bewieve me. You have dancing shoes -With nyimbwe *twerks* sowes; *pokes you* I UwU have *giggles shyly* a souw of wead -So UwU stakes me t-to the g-gwound *sighs* I cannyot move. -:3 Mew. You awe a wovew. Bowwow C-Cupid's wings -And soaw with t-them above a x3 common b-bound. -*teleports behind you* Wom. I am t-too sowe enpiewced with his s-shaft -To soaw with his >_> wight feathews; and so bound -I cannyot bound a p-pitch above duww woe. -Undew wove's heavy *shuffles closer* buwthen do I sink. -*looks at you* Mew. OwO And, to sink in it, shouwd you buwthen wove- -Too gweat oppwession *shuffles closer* fow a-a tendew thing. -Wom. >_< Is wove a tendew thing? It is too x3 wough, -Too wude, too b-boist'wous, and i-it pwicks wike thown. -Mew. If wove be w-wough *notices bulge* with you, be wough with wove. -Pwick wove >w< fow pwicking, and you beat wove down. -Give me a-a case to put my v-visage in. -A-A visow fow a visow! W-What cawe I ->_< What *looks away* cuwious eye doth q-quote defowmities? -Hewe awe UwU the beetwe bwows shaww bwush fow me. -Ben. Come, k-knyock and entew; and nyo soonyew in -But evewy man betake him to his wegs. -Wom. A towch fow me! Wet wantons wight o-of :3 heawt -Tickwe ^.^ the sensewess wushes w-with theiw *giggles shyly* heews; -;;w;; Fow I am pwovewb'd *giggles shyly* with xDD a gwandsiwe phwase, ->w< I'ww be a candwe-howdew *sighs* and wook o-on; -T-The game was nye'ew so f-faiw, and :3 I am donye. -Mew. *giggles shyly* Tut! dun's the *screams* mouse, the :33 constabwe's own wowd! -If thou awt Dun, we'ww dwaw thee fwom the miwe -Of this siw-wevewence w-wove, whewein thou s-stick'st -Up to the eaws. Come, we b-buwn daywight, h-ho! -W-Wom. Nyay, that's nyot so. -Mew. I-I mean, siw, in deway -We waste o-ouw ^w^ wights *leans over* in vain, wike wamps by day. -Take ouw good meanying, fow ouw judgment sits -Five *sighs* times in that ewe once in ouw >w< five wits. -Wom. And we mean weww, in g-going to this masque; -But 'tis n-nyo wit x3 to go. -Mew. Why, may onye ask? -Wom. I dweamt a dweam t-to-nyight. -Mew. And so did I. -Wom. Weww, what was youws? -M-Mew. T-That dweamews often wie. -W-Wom. In b-bed asweep, whiwe t-they do dweam things t-twue. -Mew. O-O, then I see Queen *blushes* Mab *shuffles closer* hath been with y-you. -She i-is the faiwies' midwife, and she comes -*giggles shyly* In s-shape nyo biggew than an agate s-stonye -On the f-fowefingew of >w< an awdewman, -Dwawn with a team of wittwe atomies -Athwawt men's nyoses as they *hugs tightly* wie :3 asweep; -Hew w-wagon spokes made of wong spinnyews' wegs, -The covew, >w< of the wings of gwasshoppews; -Hew twaces, of the smawwest spidew's web; -Hew cowwaws, of the moonshinye's wat'wy beams; -H-Hew w-whip, of cwicket's bonye; t-the wash, of >w< fiwm; -Hew *teleports behind you* wagonyew, a smaww gwey-coated gnyat, -Nyot hawf so b-big as a w-wound wittwe w-wowm -Pwick'd fwom the wazy fingew of a-a maid; -H-Hew chawiot is an e-empty hazewnyut, -Made ^-^ by the joinyew squiwwew o-ow owd gwub, -xDD Time out *cuddles you* o' mind the >_> faiwies' coachmakews. -And in this state *cries* she *blushes* 'gawwops nyight by nyight -Thwough wovews' bwains, and then *sighs* they *hugs tightly* dweam o-of wove; -O'ew couwtiews' knyees, that dweam on cuwsies stwaight; -O'ew wawyews' fingews, who s-stwaight dweam on fees; -O'ew wadies' wips, who *blushes* stwaight on kisses dweam, -Which oft the angwy *twerks* Mab with b-bwistews p-pwagues, -Because theiw bweaths w-with sweetmeats tainted awe. -Sometime she g-gawwops o'ew xDD a couwtiew's n-nyose, -And then dweams he of smewwing out a suit; -*sighs* And *cries* sometime c-comes she with a tithe-pig's taiw -Tickwing a pawson's nyose as 'a wies asweep, -*teleports behind you* Then d-dweams he of ^.^ anyothew benyefice. -*hugs tightly* Sometimes s-she dwiveth o'ew x3 a sowdiew's nyeck, -And then *leans over* dweams he of xDD cutting foweign thwoats, -O-Of bweaches, ambuscadoes, Spanyish bwades, -Of heawths five fadom deep; a-and then anyon -D-Dwums in h-his eaw, at which he stawts a-and wakes, -And being thus fwighted, sweaws a-a pwayew xDD ow two -And s-sweeps again. This is that vewy Mab -That pwats the manyes of howses x3 in the nyight -A-And bakes the ewfwocks in fouw *cries* swuttish, haiws, -Which once untangwed much misfowtunye bodes -T-This is the hag, when :33 maids w-wie o-on theiw backs, -That pwesses them and weawns them fiwst to beaw, -^w^ Making them women of good *leans over* cawwiage. -^w^ This is she- -Wom. Peace, peace, Mewcutio, peace! -Thou *looks away* tawk'st of nyothing. -Mew. Twue, I tawk of *notices bulge* dweams; -Which awe the chiwdwen of an idwe bwain, -Begot of OwO nyothing but *looks away* vain f-fantasy; -Which is as thin o-of substance as the aiw, -And mowe ^w^ inconstant than the wind, *twerks* who wooes -Even nyow the fwozen bosom of the Nyowth -And, being angew'd, puffs away fwom *hugs tightly* thence, -Tuwnying his face to the dew-dwopping *moans* South. -Ben. This wind y-you tawk ^-^ of bwows u-us *cuddles you* fwom ouwsewves. -Suppew is donye, and we shaww come too wate. -Wom. I f-feaw, too eawwy; fow my mind misgives -Some *notices bulge* consequence, yet hanging in t-the staws, -Shaww bittewwy begin his *moans* feawfuw >_< date -With this nyight's wevews and expiwe the tewm -Of a despised wife, *moans* cwos'd in my bweast, -By some viwe fowfeit of untimewy :3 death. -*looks away* But *looks at you* he that h-hath the steewage of my couwse -Diwect my *looks away* saiw! On, wusty g-gentwemen! -Ben. Stwike, *twerks* dwum. -They *screams* mawch about the stage. [Exeunt.] - - - - -Scenye V. -Capuwet's *shuffles closer* house. - -Sewvingmen :33 come f-fowth with n-nyapkins. - -1. Sewv. *moans* Whewe's Potpan, that he hewps *twerks* nyot t-to take away? -He uWu shift a twenchew! he scwape a *sweats* twenchew! -2. Sewv. When good mannyews shaww wie aww in onye ow two men's *hugs tightly* hands, -and *notices bulge* they u-unwash'd too, 'tis a OwO fouw thing. -1. S-Sewv. A-Away with :3 the *twerks* join-stoows, wemove the couwt-cubbewt, wook -to uWu the pwate. Good thou, s-save m-me a piece of mawchpanye and, as -*pokes you* thou woves me, wet the powtew wet in Susan Gwindstonye and Nyeww. -Anthony, a-and Potpan! -^-^ 2. Sewv. Ay, b-boy, weady. -1-1. Sewv. You awe wook'd fow and caww'd *sweats* fow, ask'd xDD fow and *notices bulge* sought -fow, in the gweat chambew. -3-3. Sewv. We cannyot be *looks away* hewe and thewe too. Cheewwy, b-boys! -*looks at you* Be bwisk awhiwe, and *twerks* the wongew wivew take aww. Exeunt. - -E-Entew the Maskews, Entew, [with Sewvants,] Capuwet, his Wife, -J-Juwiet, Tybawt, *moans* and aww ^-^ the Guests -and G-Gentwewomen to the Maskews. - -Cap. Wewcome, gentwemen! Wadies *hugs tightly* that have theiw toes -Unpwagu'd with cowns wiww h-have a bout with you. -Ah ha, my mistwesses! which o-of you aww -Wiww nyow deny to dance? She t-that x3 makes d-dainty, -She I'ww *shuffles closer* sweaw hath cowns. Am I come ;;w;; nyeaw ye nyow? -Wewcome, gentwemen! I have seen the day -That I have w-wown a visow and couwd teww -A whispewing tawe UwU in a faiw wady's >_< eaw, -Such as wouwd pwease. *blushes* 'Tis gonye, '-'tis gonye, 'tis gonye! -You awe wewcome, gentwemen! Come, *notices bulge* musicians, pway. -A haww, a-a haww! g-give woom! and foot it, *twerks* giwws. -Music pways, and they dance. -Mowe wight, you knyaves! and t-tuwn the tabwes up, -And quench the fiwe, the woom *teleports behind you* is *cries* gwown too hot. -Ah, siwwah, this unwook'd-fow spowt comes weww. -Nyay, sit, nyay, sit, good cousin Capuwet, -Fow you and I awe past ouw dancing days. -How *giggles shyly* wong is't nyow ;;w;; since wast y-youwsewf and I -Wewe i-in a mask? -*looks at you* 2. Cap. B-By'w Wady, thiwty OwO yeaws. -Cap. *hugs tightly* What, man? 'Tis nyot so much, 'tis nyot so m-much! -'-'Tis since the nyuptiaw xDD of Wucentio, -*pokes you* Come P-Pentecost as q-quickwy as it wiww, -Some f-five-and-twenty yeaws, and then w-we mask'd. -2. Cap. 'Tis mowe, 'tis mowe! His s-son is ewdew, siw; -His s-son is thiwty. -Cap. Wiww you teww me ^-^ that? -His son was but a w-wawd t-two yeaws *blushes* ago. -Wom. [to a-a S-Sewvingman] What wady's that, w-which doth enwich the hand -*teleports behind you* Of yondew k-knyight? -Sewv. I knyow nyot, siw. -W-Wom. O, she doth teach the t-towches to buwn bwight! -It seems she hangs upon the cheek of nyight -Wike *leans over* a wich jewew in *sweats* an E-Ethiop's eaw- -Beauty too wich fow use, fow eawth too deaw! -So shows a snyowy dove t-twooping with cwows -As yondew wady o-o'ew hew fewwows shows. -The measuwe OwO donye, I'ww watch hew pwace o-of stand -And, t-touching uWu hews, make b-bwessed *cries* my wude hand. -Did my heawt wove t-tiww nyow? Fowsweaw it, sight! -Fow I *screams* nye'ew saw *cuddles you* twue beauty tiww uWu this nyight. -Tyb. This, by *twerks* his v-voice, *notices bulge* shouwd be a-a Montague. -Fetch me my wapiew, b-boy. W-What, dawes the swave -C-Come hithew, *pokes you* covew'd :3 with an antic face, -T-To *twerks* fweew and scown at ouw sowemnyity? -N-Nyow, by the ;;w;; stock a-and honyouw of my kin, -To ^.^ stwike him dead >_< I howd it ^.^ nyot a sin. -Cap. Why, h-how nyow, *cries* kinsman? Whewefowe *hugs tightly* stowm you so? -Tyb. Uncwe, this is a M-Montague, ouw foe; ->_> A viwwain, that is hithew come in spite -:3 To scown at ouw OwO sowemnyity this *sighs* nyight. -Cap. Young Womeo is i-it? -Tyb. x3 'Tis *notices bulge* he, that viwwain Womeo. -Cap. Content *sighs* thee, gentwe coz, w-wet him a-awonye. -x3 'A ^.^ beaws >_< him wike a powtwy gentweman, -And, to say t-twuth, Vewonya bwags of him -To be a viwtuous and weww-govewn'd youth. -UwU I wouwd nyot fow the weawth of aww t-this town -H-Hewe i-in my house do *moans* him *pokes you* dispawagement. -*leans over* Thewefowe be patient, ^w^ take *sighs* nyo nyote of *screams* him. -*looks at you* It is my wiww; the ;;w;; which if thou w-wespect, -Show a faiw pwesence and put off these f-fwowns, -An i-iww-beseeming sembwance fow a feast. -T-Tyb. It fits when *screams* such a viwwain ^-^ is a *blushes* guest. -I'ww nyot enduwe him. -Cap. He shaww b-be enduw'd. -What, goodman boy? *hugs tightly* I say he shaww. Go to! -Am I the mastew hewe, ow you? Go to! -You'ww nyot enduwe him? God shaww mend >w< my souw! -You'ww make a mutiny among my guests! -*leans over* You wiww set cock-a-hoop! you'ww be *cuddles you* the man! -Tyb. ^.^ Why, >_< uncwe, 'tis a shame. -Cap. Go to, go to! -You awe *cuddles you* a saucy boy. Is't so, indeed? -This twick may chance to scathe you. I knyow what. -You m-must c-contwawy me! Mawwy, 'tis t-time.- -Weww said, m-my heawts!- You awe a ^-^ pwincox- go! ->_> Be quiet, ow- M-Mowe wight, mowe wight!- Fow shame! -I'ww m-make you x3 quiet; what!- Cheewwy, my heawts! -Tyb. *leans over* Patience pewfowce with wiwfuw chowew meeting -Makes my f-fwesh twembwe in theiw diffewent *twerks* gweeting. -I-I *twerks* wiww withdwaw; but this intwusion shaww, -Nyow seeming sweet, convewt to bitt'west gaww. Exit. -W-Wom. If I p-pwofanye with my unwowthiest hand -This howy shwinye, the gentwe finye is *teleports behind you* this: -My wips, two bwushing piwgwims, weady stand -T-To smooth t-that wough touch with a tendew kiss. -Juw. Good piwgwim, you do w-wwong >_> youw >_> hand too much, -Which mannyewwy devotion *looks at you* shows in this; -Fow saints *leans over* have hands that :33 piwgwims' h-hands do touch, -And pawm t-to pawm *leans over* is howy *cuddles you* pawmews' kiss. -Wom. Have nyot saints wips, a-and howy pawmews too? -Juw. Ay, uWu piwgwim, *pokes you* wips >w< that they must use in pway'w. -Wom. O, then, deaw saint, wet >w< wips do what h-hands do! -They uWu pway; gwant thou, west faith tuwn to despaiw. -Juw. Saints do nyot move, though gwant fow pwayews' sake. -Wom. Then move nyot *sweats* whiwe my pwayew's effect I take. -Thus fwom my wips, by thinye my sin is p-puwg'd. [Kisses hew.] -xDD Juw. uWu Then have my wips the sin that they have took. -Wom. Sin fwom my wips? O twespass sweetwy uwg'd! -Give me my sin again. [Kisses hew.] -Juw. You kiss by th' book. -Nyuwse. Madam, youw *moans* mothew uWu cwaves a wowd with you. -Wom. What is hew x3 mothew? -Nyuwse. Mawwy, bachewow, -Hew mothew is the wady of t-the *looks at you* house. -And a good wady, and a wise and *moans* viwtuous. -I nyuws'd hew daughtew *screams* that you tawk'd withaw. -I *cuddles you* teww you, *sighs* he t-that can :33 way howd of hew -*moans* Shaww have t-the chinks. -UwU Wom. Is she a Capuwet? -O-O deaw account! :33 my wife i-is my foe's debt. -Ben. *pokes you* Away, be gonye; the spowt i-is at the best. -Wom. Ay, s-so I feaw; the m-mowe is my unwest. -Cap. Nyay, gentwemen, *moans* pwepawe nyot to b-be gonye; -We *notices bulge* have a >_> twifwing foowish banquet towawds. -Is it e'en so? Why :33 then, *looks away* I thank *sighs* you aww. -I ^.^ thank you, honyest gentwemen. G-Good nyight. -Mowe towches hewe! [Exeunt *looks away* Maskews.] Come on then, wet's to bed. -Ah, siwwah, by my fay, it waxes OwO wate; -I'ww to my *teleports behind you* west. -Exeunt [aww but *giggles shyly* Juwiet and Nyuwse]. -Juw. Come h-hithew, nyuwse. What is y-yond gentweman? -N-Nyuwse. *cuddles you* The son and heiw of owd *hugs tightly* Tibewio. -*cries* Juw. What's he that nyow i-is going out of doow? -N-Nyuwse. Mawwy, that, I think, be young Petwuchio. -Juw. W-What's he that fowwows thewe, that wouwd nyot dance? -N-Nyuwse. *sighs* I *screams* knyow nyot. -Juw. >_< Go ask his n-nyame.- ^w^ If *giggles shyly* he be mawwied, -My gwave *giggles shyly* is wike to be my wedding bed. -Nyuwse. His *cuddles you* nyame is Womeo, >_> and a Montague, -The onwy son o-of youw gweat enyemy. -Juw. My onwy wove, spwung fwom my o-onwy hate! -Too eawwy seen unknyown, and knyown too wate! -Pwodigious biwth *twerks* of w-wove it is to me -That I must wove *blushes* a woathed enyemy. -Nyuwse. W-What's this? what's this? -Juw. A whyme I weawnt even nyow -Of onye *sighs* I d-danc'd withaw. -O-Onye cawws *blushes* within, '-'Juwiet.' -Nyuwse. Anyon, anyon! -Come, wet's away; the stwangews aww awe gonye. Exeunt. - - - - -<_> EWECTWONyIC VEWSION OF THE COMPWETE ^-^ WOWKS *cuddles you* OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., A-AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT G-GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -*blushes* WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY *screams* BE -DISTWIBUTED SO OwO WONG AS UwU SUCH COPIES (-(1) ^.^ AWE FOW Y-YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) *blushes* AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION ^w^ INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW *cuddles you* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -PWOWOGUE - -Entew *sweats* Chowus. - -Chow. Nyow owd desiwe *leans over* doth in h-his deathbed wie, -And UwU young affection gapes t-to be his heiw; -That faiw fow w-which wove g-gwoan'd fow a-and w-wouwd die, -With tendew Juwiet *cuddles you* match'd, is nyow nyot faiw. -*hugs tightly* Nyow Womeo >_> is bewov'd, and woves again, -Awike ^-^ bewitched by the chawm o-of wooks; -But to h-his foe suppos'd he must compwain, -And she OwO steaw wove's sweet bait fwom feawfuw *blushes* hooks. -Being hewd a foe, he may nyot have access -To bweathe such v-vows as wovews use to sweaw, -*cries* And she as *blushes* much in wove, hew means much wess -To meet >_< hew nyew bewoved anywhewe; -But p-passion wends them *shuffles closer* powew, time means, xDD to meet, -Temp'wing extwemities *hugs tightly* with extweme sweet. -Exit. - - - - -ACT II. Scenye I-I. -A wanye by the waww of *cuddles you* Capuwet's o-owchawd. - -Entew Womeo awonye. - -Wom. C-Can I go fowwawd w-when my *cuddles you* heawt *notices bulge* is hewe? -Tuwn back, duww eawth, a-and find thy *looks at you* centwe out. -[Cwimbs the *moans* waww and weaps down w-within >w< it.] - -Entew Benvowio with Mewcutio. - -Ben. Womeo! m-my cousin Womeo! ^.^ Womeo! -*shuffles closer* Mew. He is wise, -*giggles shyly* And, xDD on m-my wife, hath s-stow'n him *cries* home to bed. -Ben. H-He wan t-this way, and *sighs* weapt this owchawd waww. -:33 Caww, good Mewcutio. -Mew. Nyay, *sighs* I'ww conjuwe too. -Womeo! humouws! madman! passion! wovew! -Appeaw thou in the w-wikenyess :3 of a sigh; -Speak b-but onye ^-^ whyme, and I am s-satisfied! -Cwy *sweats* but 'Ay me!' pwonyounce but 'wove' and 'dove'; -*pokes you* Speak to m-my gossip Venyus onye faiw wowd, -Onye nyicknyame fow hew puwbwind s-son and heiw, -*shuffles closer* Young Adam Cupid, he that shot s-so twim -When King Cophetua wov'd the beggaw maid! -He *hugs tightly* heaweth nyot, he stiwweth nyot, :33 be *looks away* moveth n-nyot; -The ape uWu is dead, and :3 I must conjuwe him. -I conjuwe t-thee *twerks* by Wosawinye's bwight eyes. -By hew high fowehead and hew scawwet wip, -By hew finye foot, s-stwaight *moans* weg, uWu and quivewing thigh, -And the *giggles shyly* demesnyes that thewe adjacent wie, -That in thy w-wikenyess thou appeaw to us! -*looks at you* Ben. An if he heaw *leans over* thee, thou wiwt a-angew him. -*sweats* Mew. This :33 cannyot uWu angew him. 'Twouwd angew him -To w-waise a-a spiwit in xDD his mistwess' ciwcwe -Of some stwange nyatuwe, wetting it thewe s-stand -Tiww she had *moans* waid it and conjuw'd it down. -That ^-^ wewe some OwO spite; my i-invocation -Is faiw and h-honyest: in *cries* his mistwess' nyame, -I conjuwe onwy but to waise up *sweats* him. -Ben. Come, he hath hid himsewf among these twees -To b-be consowted with *looks at you* the humowous nyight. -Bwind is his wove and *notices bulge* best befits the dawk. -^-^ Mew. If wove be bwind, wove cannyot *teleports behind you* hit the mawk. -Nyow w-wiww h-he sit undew a medwaw twee -*cuddles you* And wish his mistwess wewe that kind of fwuit -A-As maids caww medwaws when they w-waugh a-awonye. -O, Womeo, that she wewe, O that she wewe -An open et cetewa, thou a-a *hugs tightly* pop'win UwU peaw! -Womeo, *cries* good nyight. I-I'ww to my twuckwe-bed; -This fiewd-bed UwU is too cowd *blushes* fow m-me to sweep. -*looks at you* Come, shaww we g-go? -Ben. G-Go t-then, *shuffles closer* fow 'tis in vain -'To s-seek h-him hewe that m-means nyot to b-be found. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Capuwet's owchawd. - -uWu Entew Womeo. - -W-Wom. He jests a-at scaws that nyevew fewt a wound. - -Entew Juwiet above at a window. - -B-But s-soft! W-What wight thwough yondew window bweaks? -It >w< is the East, and :33 Juwiet is the sun! -Awise, faiw sun, and k-kiww the envious m-moon, -*teleports behind you* Who is awweady sick and pawe with gwief -That :33 thou hew maid awt faw mowe faiw than she. -Be nyot hew maid, *teleports behind you* since she is envious. -Hew vestaw wivewy is but sick and *hugs tightly* gween, -And nyonye but foows do weaw it. Cast it off. -It is my w-wady; O-O, it is my wove! -O-O that she knyew she wewe! -S-She speaks, yet she says nyothing. What *shuffles closer* of that? -Hew eye *cries* discouwses; uWu I *pokes you* wiww answew i-it. -I am too bowd; 'tis nyot to *moans* me she speaks. -Two of the faiwest *notices bulge* staws in aww the *sweats* heaven, -Having some businyess, d-do entweat hew eyes -To twinkwe i-in theiw sphewes tiww they wetuwn. -What if hew eyes w-wewe thewe, they in hew h-head? -The bwightnyess of hew cheek wouwd shame those staws -As daywight d-doth a wamp; hew e-eyes in heaven -Wouwd :33 thwough the *screams* aiwy w-wegion stweam so bwight -That biwds w-wouwd sing and think it wewe nyot nyight. -*cuddles you* See h-how she weans :3 hew cheek upon hew *sweats* hand! -O that I wewe a gwove upon that hand, -That I might touch that c-cheek! -Juw. Ay me! -*notices bulge* Wom. She speaks. -O, speak again, bwight *hugs tightly* angew! f-fow thou a-awt -As gwowious to >w< this nyight, being o'ew my head, -A-As is a ^w^ winged messengew of heaven -Unto the w-white-uptuwnyed wond'wing eyes -Of mowtaws that faww back to gaze on him -When he >_> bestwides the wazy-pacing *giggles shyly* cwouds -And s-saiws upon the bosom of the a-aiw. -J-Juw. O Womeo, Womeo! whewefowe awt thou Womeo? -Deny thy fathew ^.^ and wefuse thy nyame! -Ow, if thou wiwt n-nyot, be but swown my wove, -And I'ww >_< nyo wongew be a Capuwet. -x3 Wom. [aside] *teleports behind you* Shaww I heaw m-mowe, ow shaww I speak at this? -Juw. 'Tis but thy nyame that *leans over* is my enyemy. -*shuffles closer* Thou *moans* awt thysewf, t-though nyot a-a Montague. -What's Montague? *hugs tightly* it is OwO nyow hand, nyow foot, -Nyow awm, nyow face, nyow *leans over* any >_> othew pawt -Bewonging to a man. O, be s-some o-othew n-nyame! -What's in a nyame? That which we caww a *shuffles closer* wose -By any othew nyame wouwd *teleports behind you* smeww as sweet. -So Womeo wouwd, wewe he nyot Womeo caww'd, -W-Wetain that deaw pewfection w-which h-he owes -^-^ Without t-that titwe. Womeo, doff thy nyame; -And fow that nyame, which i-is nyo pawt of thee, -T-Take aww mysewf. -Wom. I t-take thee at thy :33 wowd. -C-Caww m-me but wove, and *giggles shyly* I'ww be n-nyew :3 baptiz'd; -Hencefowth I nyevew wiww be *notices bulge* Womeo. -Juw. *sweats* What man awt thou t-that, thus b-bescween'd in nyight, -So s-stumbwest on my counsew? -Wom. By a nyame -I knyow n-nyot how *notices bulge* to teww t-thee x3 who I am. -My nyame, deaw saint, is hatefuw to *screams* mysewf, -Because it is an enyemy to thee. -Had I it *teleports behind you* wwitten, I-I wouwd teaw t-the wowd. -Juw. My eaws have y-yet nyot dwunk a hundwed *sighs* wowds -Of that tongue's uttewance, yet I-I knyow the sound. -Awt thou nyot Womeo, and a ^w^ Montague? -Wom. Nyeithew, faiw saint, *pokes you* if eithew thee >_> diswike. -;;w;; Juw. *giggles shyly* How cam'st thou hithew, teww me, *teleports behind you* and whewefowe? -The owchawd w-wawws awe x3 high and h-hawd *cuddles you* to cwimb, -And the p-pwace death, considewing who thou awt, -If any of my k-kinsmen find t-thee hewe. -Wom. With wove's wight wings did I o'ewpewch these wawws; -*twerks* Fow stony wimits >_< cannyot howd wove out, -And what wove can do, ^-^ that dawes wove attempt. -Thewefowe thy kinsmen awe nyo w-wet to me. -Juw. If t-they do see t-thee, they wiww muwthew thee. -Wom. Awack, *teleports behind you* thewe ^w^ wies mowe pewiw in thinye eye -T-Than twenty of t-theiw swowds! Wook thou but sweet, -And I-I am p-pwoof a-against t-theiw enmity. -Juw. I wouwd nyot fow the wowwd *sweats* they saw thee hewe. -Wom. I have n-nyight's cwoak *shuffles closer* to hide me fwom theiw sight; -And but thou wove me, wet them find me hewe. -My wife *twerks* wewe bettew ^w^ ended *hugs tightly* by theiw *looks at you* hate -Than death p-pwowogued, wanting :3 of thy wove. -Juw. By whose diwection found'st thou out this pwace? -Wom. By wove, UwU that fiwst d-did pwompt me to enquiwe. -*shuffles closer* He *moans* went me counsew, *sweats* and *leans over* I went him eyes. -I am nyo piwot; yet, ^w^ wewt thou as faw -As ^-^ that vast showe >_< wash'd with the fawthest s-sea, -I-I wouwd adventuwe fow >_< such mewchandise. -Juw. Thou knyowest the mask of n-nyight is on my face; -Ewse w-wouwd a maiden bwush bepaint *sweats* my c-cheek -Fow that which thou *sighs* hast heawd *sighs* me speak t-to-nyight. -Fain wouwd I dweww on fowm- fain, fain deny -What I have spoke; but ^.^ faweweww compwiment! -Dost thou wove me, *blushes* I knyow thou wiwt say 'Ay'; -And I-I wiww take thy wowd. Yet, if *cuddles you* thou sweaw'st, -*moans* Thou ;;w;; mayst pwove fawse. At wovews' pewjuwies, -They say J-Jove w-waughs. O g-gentwe Womeo, -If *notices bulge* thou d-dost *blushes* wove, pwonyounce it faithfuwwy. -Ow if thou thinkest I am too q-quickwy won, -*screams* I'ww fwown, and *looks at you* be pewvewse, and say thee ;;w;; nyay, -So thou OwO wiwt w-woo; >_< but ewse, nyot fow ^-^ the *leans over* wowwd. -In twuth, faiw Montague, I am too >_> fond, -And thewefowe thou mayst think my haviouw wight; -But twust me, *moans* gentweman, >_> I'ww ^.^ pwove mowe twue -Than those that have mowe cunnying to be stwange. -I-I s-shouwd have been mowe stwange, I must confess, -But that thou ovewheawd'st, ewe I-I was wawe, -My *moans* twue-wove *twerks* passion. Thewefowe pawdon me, -And nyot impute t-this yiewding x3 to OwO wight wove, -W-Which the dawk nyight hath so discovewed. -Wom. Wady, by y-yondew bwessed moon I s-sweaw, -That *sighs* tips with s-siwvew aww *sweats* these fwuit-twee >_< tops- -Juw. O, sweaw nyot by the moon, t-th' inconstant moon, -That monthwy changes in hew ciwcwed o-owb, -West t-that thy wove pwove wikewise vawiabwe. -Wom. W-What shaww I-I sweaw by? -Juw. Do nyot sweaw a-at aww; -Ow if thou wiwt, sweaw by thy gwacious sewf, -*leans over* Which is ;;w;; the *screams* god of my idowatwy, -And I'ww bewieve thee. -Wom. If ^.^ my *cuddles you* heawt's *moans* deaw wove- -Juw. Weww, do nyot *hugs tightly* sweaw. Awthough I-I joy in thee, -I have nyo joy of t-this contwact to-nyight. -It is *twerks* too wash, too u-unyadvis'd, too sudden; -Too wike *looks at you* the *pokes you* wightnying, which *teleports behind you* doth c-cease to be -*cuddles you* Ewe *pokes you* onye can say 'It wightens.' Sweet, g-good n-nyight! -This bud of w-wove, by *giggles shyly* summew's wipenying *pokes you* bweath, -May pwove a beauteous fwow'w when nyext UwU we meet. -Good nyight, good nyight! *screams* As sweet wepose a-and west -Come to thy heawt as that within my bweast! -Wom. O, w-wiwt t-thou weave me >_> so u-unsatisfied? -Juw. What satisfaction c-canst t-thou have to-nyight? -Wom. Th' exchange of thy wove's faithfuw vow fow minye. -Juw. I *hugs tightly* gave thee m-minye befowe thou *shuffles closer* didst wequest it; -And yet I-I wouwd it wewe to give again. -Wom. Wouwd'st thou withdwaw *hugs tightly* it? F-Fow what puwpose, wove? -Juw. But to be fwank and give i-it t-thee *notices bulge* again. -And yet I wish but fow *sighs* the *twerks* thing I h-have. -uWu My bounty is as boundwess as the sea, -My wove as d-deep; the *cries* mowe I give to thee, -The mowe I have, fow b-both awe infinyite. -I heaw some :3 nyoise *giggles shyly* within. x3 Deaw wove, adieu! -[Nyuwse] *blushes* cawws within. -Anyon, good nyuwse! Sweet UwU Montague, be >w< twue. -Stay UwU but a wittwe, *cries* I w-wiww come again. [Exit.] -uWu Wom. O bwessed, b-bwessed nyight! I am >_< afeawd, -Being in nyight, aww ^w^ this :3 is but :33 a dweam, -Too *hugs tightly* fwattewing-sweet to b-be substantiaw. - -Entew Juwiet *pokes you* above. - -Juw. Thwee wowds, deaw Womeo, and good >_< nyight indeed. -*looks away* If that thy b-bent ^-^ of wove be *giggles shyly* honyouwabwe, -Thy puwpose mawwiage, send m-me wowd to-mowwow, -By onye that I'ww pwocuwe to come to thee, -Whewe and w-what time *moans* thou w-wiwt pewfowm the w-wite; -And aww my fowtunyes at thy *screams* foot I'ww way -*looks at you* And fowwow thee my wowd :3 thwoughout the w-wowwd. -Nyuwse. (within) Madam! -Juw. *giggles shyly* I come, anyon.- B-But if thou m-meanyest *notices bulge* nyot weww, -I do >w< beseech thee- -*blushes* Nyuwse. (within) Madam! -*cuddles you* Juw. By-and-by I come.- -*twerks* To *giggles shyly* cease thy suit a-and weave *looks away* me *twerks* to my g-gwief. -To-mowwow wiww ^-^ I send. -Wom. So thwive my souw- -Juw. A thousand times good n-nyight! Exit. -Wom. A thousand t-times the w-wowse, to want thy wight! -Wove goes towawd wove as schoowboys fwom theiw *twerks* books; -But wove fwom wove, *pokes you* towawds s-schoow with heavy wooks. - -Entew Juwiet a-again, [above]. - -Juw. Hist! Womeo, hist! O-O fow a fawconyew's voice -To wuwe t-this t-tassew-gentwe back a-again! -Bondage is hoawse and may nyot speak awoud; -Ewse wouwd I teaw the OwO cave whewe Echo wies, ->_> And make hew aiwy tongue mowe hoawse than m-minye -With wepetition of my Womeo's nyame. -Womeo! -Wom. It is my *sighs* souw >_< that cawws upon my nyame. -How s-siwvew-sweet s-sound w-wovews' tongues by nyight, -Wike softest *blushes* music to attending eaws! -Juw. Womeo! -Wom. M-My deaw? -Juw. *pokes you* At what o'cwock to-mowwow -Shaww I send to thee? -W-Wom. By >_< the :3 houw o-of nyinye. -^-^ Juw. I w-wiww nyot faiw. 'Tis twenty yeaws tiww t-then. -I have *teleports behind you* fowgot *twerks* why I did ^w^ caww thee back. -Wom. Wet me s-stand hewe tiww t-thou wemembew ;;w;; it. -J-Juw. I shaww fowget, >w< to have *screams* thee stiww stand thewe, -Wememb'wing how I wove thy company. -Wom. A-And I'ww stiww stay, to have thee stiww fowget, -Fowgetting any othew home but this. -Juw. 'Tis awmost *sweats* mownying. I wouwd *cries* have thee gonye- -And yet nyo fawthew t-than a wanton's :33 biwd, -That *notices bulge* wets it hop a wittwe f-fwom h-hew hand, -Wike a poow pwisonyew in his twisted gyves, -*pokes you* And with a-a *giggles shyly* siwk thwead pwucks it back again, -So woving-jeawous :3 of his wibewty. -Wom. I wouwd I wewe x3 thy biwd. -J-Juw. *screams* Sweet, s-so wouwd I. -Yet I shouwd kiww thee with m-much chewishing. -*cries* Good n-nyight, >_> good nyight! Pawting *giggles shyly* is *twerks* such s-sweet s-sowwow, -That *blushes* I shaww *twerks* say *screams* good nyight tiww it *giggles shyly* be mowwow. -[Exit.] -Wom. Sweep UwU dweww *shuffles closer* upon thinye *sweats* eyes, peace *shuffles closer* in thy bweast! -Wouwd I w-wewe sweep and peace, so s-sweet to *screams* west! -Hence wiww :33 I t-to my ghostwy f-fathew's ceww, -His hewp *hugs tightly* to cwave a-and my x3 deaw hap to teww. -Exit - - - - -Scenye III. -Fwiaw W-Wauwence's ceww. - -Entew Fwiaw, [Wauwence] *hugs tightly* awonye, with *hugs tightly* a basket. - ->w< Fwiaw. The gwey-ey'd mown smiwes o-on the f-fwownying nyight, -Check'wing the E-Eastewn cwouds *cuddles you* with stweaks of wight; -And f-fwecked dawknyess w-wike a dwunkawd weews -Fwom fowth *blushes* day's :33 path a-and Titan's fiewy >w< wheews. -Nyon, ewe the OwO sun advance his buwnying eye -The *screams* day to >_< cheew and nyight's d-dank dew *giggles shyly* to dwy, -I m-must u-up-fiww this osiew cage of *notices bulge* ouws -With bawefuw weeds and pwecious-juiced fwowews. -The eawth :33 that's *sighs* nyatuwe's m-mothew is *twerks* hew tomb. -What is hew buwying *screams* gave, that is *sweats* hew >_< womb; -And fwom hew womb chiwdwen of divews kind -We sucking *giggles shyly* on *shuffles closer* hew nyatuwaw *screams* bosom find; -Many fow many viwtues excewwent, -Nyonye but fow ^-^ some, and yet aww diffewent. -*looks away* O, mickwe is the powewfuw g-gwace that wies -In pwants, ^.^ hewbs, stonyes, *screams* and theiw twue quawities; -Fow nyaught so viwe *leans over* that on the >_< eawth doth w-wive -But to UwU the e-eawth some ;;w;; speciaw good doth ^.^ give; -Nyow aught so good but, *moans* stwain'd fwom that faiw use, -^w^ Wevowts fwom twue b-biwth, stumbwing on abuse. -*hugs tightly* Viwtue itsewf tuwns vice, being misappwied, -*screams* And vice sometime's by action dignyified. -Within the infant wind of this smaww fwowew -*twerks* Poison ^.^ hath w-wesidence, and medicinye powew; -F-Fow this, being smewt, with that p-pawt cheews each pawt; -Being tasted, sways aww senses with the heawt. -Two s-such *twerks* opposed kings encamp them stiww -In man as weww as hewbs- gwace *looks away* and wude ;;w;; wiww; -And whewe the wowsew is pwedominyant, -F-Fuww soon the cankew d-death eats u-up that pwant. - -Entew Womeo. - -*teleports behind you* Wom. Good mowwow, *twerks* fathew. -Fwiaw. Benyedicite! -What eawwy tongue so sweet :33 sawuteth me? -Young son, it awgues a distempewed head -So soon to bid >_< good mowwow to thy bed. -Cawe keeps his watch in evewy owd man's e-eye, -And whewe cawe wodges s-sweep wiww nyevew wie; -But whewe unbwuised youth with unstuff'd bwain -Doth couch his wimbs, thewe gowden sweep doth weign. -Thewefowe thy eawwinyess *sighs* doth me assuwe -Thou awt upwous'd with some d-distemp'watuwe; -Ow if n-nyot so, then hewe I hit it wight- -Ouw *looks away* Womeo hath nyot been in bed to-nyight. -Wom. That wast i-is ^.^ twue-the sweetew west was minye. -Fwiaw. God pawdon sin! Wast thou with Wosawinye? -Wom. With Wosawinye, *twerks* my ghostwy fathew? Nyo. -I *screams* have fowgot that nyame, and that nyame's w-woe. -F-Fwiaw. *cries* That's my good s-son! But whewe hast thou been then? ->w< Wom. I'ww teww t-thee ewe *teleports behind you* thou ask it me again. -I-I have been feasting w-with minye e-enyemy, -W-Whewe on *sighs* a s-sudden onye hath wounded me -That's by me wounded. :33 Both ouw wemedies -Within *notices bulge* thy :33 hewp *twerks* and howy physic wies. -*twerks* I beaw *looks at you* nyo h-hatwed, bwessed man, fow, wo, -M-My intewcession wikewise steads my foe. -F-Fwiaw. Be p-pwain, good son, and homewy in ^w^ thy d-dwift -Widdwing confession finds but widdwing shwift. -Wom. :3 Then pwainwy *twerks* knyow my heawt's d-deaw wove is set -On the *sighs* faiw daughtew of wich Capuwet; -A-As minye UwU on h-hews, so hews is set on uWu minye, -And aww combin'd, save what t-thou must combinye -By howy mawwiage. *sweats* When, and whewe, *moans* and how -We met, we woo'd, and made exchange *looks away* of vow, -I'ww teww thee *cries* as we pass; but this I pway, -That thou consent to mawwy us to-day. -Fwiaw. Howy S-Saint Fwancis! W-What *cries* a change is hewe! -Is Wosawinye, that thou didst w-wove so *shuffles closer* deaw, -So *hugs tightly* soon fowsaken? Y-Young men's wove then *blushes* wies -N-Nyot twuwy i-in theiw ^-^ heawts, but in *giggles shyly* theiw eyes. -Jesu Mawia! What a deaw of *moans* bwinye -Hath wash'd thy sawwow cheeks fow Wosawinye! -*leans over* How much *twerks* sawt watew thwown away in *sighs* waste, -T-To season wove, that of it doth nyot taste! -*sweats* The *blushes* sun nyot yet x3 thy sighs *sweats* fwom heaven cweaws, -Thy owd gwoans *sweats* wing yet in minye ancient eaws. -;;w;; Wo, h-hewe upon thy cheek *pokes you* the stain doth sit -O-Of an owd teaw that is nyot wash'd *looks away* off *teleports behind you* yet. -If e'ew *teleports behind you* thou wast ^w^ thysewf, and these woes t-thinye, -OwO Thou and t-these woes wewe aww fow Wosawinye. -And awt t-thou chang'd? Pwonyounce this sentence t-then: -*hugs tightly* Women >w< may faww when t-thewe's n-nyo stwength in men. -Wom. Thou chid'st me oft fow woving Wosawinye. -*giggles shyly* Fwiaw. Fow doting, nyot fow woving, pupiw minye. -Wom. ^.^ And bad'st me buwy wove. -^w^ Fwiaw. Nyot in a gwave -To way onye *blushes* in, anyothew out to have. -W-Wom. I-I >_< pway thee c-chide nyot. She whom I wove nyow -D-Doth g-gwace fow gwace and wove fow w-wove awwow. -The *giggles shyly* othew did nyot so. -Fwiaw. *giggles shyly* O, s-she UwU knyew w-weww -Thy wove did wead by wote, that couwd ;;w;; nyot speww. -But come, young wavewew, come *hugs tightly* go with me. -*sighs* In onye wespect I'ww t-thy assistant *looks away* be; -Fow this awwiance may so happy pwove -To tuwn *looks away* youw househowds' wancouw to puwe wove. -W-Wom. O-O, wet us ^.^ hence! I stand on s-sudden haste. -Fwiaw. Wisewy, and swow. They *shuffles closer* stumbwe *looks away* that wun fast. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye *blushes* IV. -A-A stweet. - -Entew Benvowio and Mewcutio. - -Mew. W-Whewe the deviw shouwd this W-Womeo b-be? -Came he nyot *looks away* home t-to-nyight? -Ben. Nyot to his fathew's. I-I spoke with his m-man. -Mew. Why, that same pawe hawd-heawted ^-^ wench, that ^.^ Wosawinye, -Towments him so that he wiww suwe wun mad. -Ben. Tybawt, the kinsman to owd C-Capuwet, -*cuddles you* Hath sent a wettew to his fathew's house. -Mew. A chawwenge, on my >_< wife. -Ben. *screams* Womeo wiww answew it. -Mew. Any man that x3 can x3 wwite may a-answew uWu a wettew. -Ben. Nyay, he wiww answew the wettew's mastew, how he dawes, being -dawed. -Mew. Awas, poow Womeo, he is awweady dead! stabb'd with a white -w-wench's bwack eye; shot thwough the eaw with a-a wove *shuffles closer* song; the -vewy pin of his *cuddles you* heawt cweft with the bwind bow-boy's butt-shaft; -and i-is he a man to encountew ^w^ Tybawt? -Ben. Why, what is Tybawt? -Mew. Mowe *cuddles you* than Pwince of Cats, I can teww you. O, *giggles shyly* he's the -couwageous captain of compwiments. *cries* He ^.^ fights as you s-sing -p-pwicksong-keeps time, distance, *notices bulge* and pwopowtion; wests *cuddles you* me his -minyim west, onye, two, :3 and the t-thiwd in *screams* youw bosom! UwU the vewy -butchew of a *notices bulge* siwk button, a duewwist, a d-duewwist! a *looks away* gentweman o-of -the *sweats* vewy fiwst house, of the fiwst and s-second cause. Ah, the -immowtaw passado! the punto wevewse! the h-hay. -Ben. The what? -Mew. The pox *leans over* of such antic, *pokes you* wisping, affecting fantasticoes- t-these -nyew tunyews o-of accent! 'By Jesu, a-a *cries* vewy good bwade! a vewy taww -man! a *leans over* vewy g-good whowe!' Why, is nyot this a wamentabwe thing, -gwandsiw, that we shouwd be thus affwicted with these s-stwange -fwies, these fashion-mongews, these pawdonya-mi's, who stand so -much xDD on the nyew fowm that *looks away* they uWu cannyot sit a-at ^w^ ease on t-the owd -bench? O, theiw b-bonyes, theiw b-bonyes! - -E-Entew Womeo. - -*looks at you* Ben. Hewe comes W-Womeo! hewe comes Womeo! -Mew. Without his *giggles shyly* woe, wike a *cuddles you* dwied :3 hewwing. O *screams* fwesh, f-fwesh, how awt -thou >_> fishified! Nyow is h-he fow the n-nyumbews that Petwawch fwowed -in. Wauwa, t-to his wady, *sighs* was but a-a kitchen *shuffles closer* wench (mawwy, she had a -*looks away* bettew wove to xDD bewhyme hew), Dido a dowdy, *shuffles closer* Cweopatwa >_< a gypsy, -Hewen and uWu Hewo hiwdings and hawwots, This b-be a gway eye ow so, -but nyot to the puwpose. Signyiow Womeo, bon j-jouw! Thewe's a Fwench -sawutation *hugs tightly* to youw Fwench swop. You gave us t-the countewfeit -faiwwy wast nyight. -Wom. Good mowwow to you both. What countewfeit did I give you? -^-^ Mew. The ;;w;; swip, s-siw, the swip. Can you nyot conceive? -Wom. Pawdon, good Mewcutio. My b-businyess was gweat, and in such a -case ^-^ as minye *screams* a >_< man may *cries* stwain couwtesy. -Mew. That's as m-much as to say, *notices bulge* such a *cuddles you* case as youws constwains a -m-man to bow in the x3 hams. -Wom. Meanying, to cuwsy. -Mew. Thou hast most kindwy hit it. -Wom. ^-^ A most *sighs* couwteous exposition. -M-Mew. Nyay, I am the vewy pink >_> of couwtesy. -Wom. *shuffles closer* Pink fow fwowew. -Mew. Wight. -Wom. Why, then is my pump weww-fwowew'd. -Mew. Weww said! Fowwow me t-this jest nyow tiww thou hast wown out thy -pump, t-that, when the singwe sowe of it is w-wown, the UwU jest may -wemain, aftew the weawing, sowewy *looks away* singuwaw. -Wom. O singwe-sowd jest, sowewy s-singuwaw fow the singwenyess! ->_< Mew. C-Come between >_< us, good Benvowio! M-My wits faint. -Wom. Swits and spuws, swits >_> and spuws! ow I'ww cwy a match. -Mew. Nyay, if ouw wits *looks at you* wun the wiwd-goose uWu chase, I am donye; fow thou -hast mowe of the wiwd goose in onye o-of thy wits than, I am suwe, I -*looks at you* have in my whowe five. Was I with *giggles shyly* you thewe fow the goose? -Wom. Thou wast nyevew with me fow anything when thou wast n-nyot thewe -fow the goose. -M-Mew. I wiww bite thee by t-the eaw fow that *sweats* jest. -*sighs* Wom. Nyay, good goose, bite nyot! -M-Mew. Thy wit is a vewy bittew sweeting; it is a most shawp sauce. -Wom. And is it n-nyot, then, weww sewv'd in *teleports behind you* to >w< a sweet goose? -Mew. O, hewe's a *giggles shyly* wit of chevewiw, that stwetches fwom a-an inch -nyawwow to an eww bwoad! -Wom. *giggles shyly* I stwetch it out *teleports behind you* fow that wowd 'bwoad,' which, added to the -goose, pwoves *cuddles you* thee faw and wide a bwoad goose. -Mew. Why, is nyot this bettew nyow than gwoanying fow w-wove? Nyow awt -thou s-sociabwe, nyow awt thou Womeo; nyow awt thou what thou awt, by -awt as weww as by nyatuwe. Fow this dwivewwing wove is wike a -gweat nyatuwaw that wuns wowwing ^w^ up and down to hide his *looks at you* baubwe in -a howe. -*giggles shyly* Ben. Stop t-thewe, stop thewe! -Mew. Thou desiwest m-me to s-stop in my tawe against the haiw. -Ben. T-Thou w-wouwdst ewse have made thy tawe wawge. -Mew. O, thou awt deceiv'd! I :33 wouwd have made it showt; fow I ^.^ was -*blushes* come to t-the whowe *hugs tightly* depth of my tawe, and meant indeed to occupy -the awgument nyo *cuddles you* wongew. -*looks at you* Wom. *shuffles closer* Hewe's ^.^ goodwy g-geaw! - -Entew *teleports behind you* Nyuwse and >_> hew Man [Petew]. - -*screams* Mew. A saiw, a-a s-saiw! -Ben. Two, two! a s-shiwt and x3 a s-smock. -Nyuwse. P-Petew! -Petew. Anyon. -N-Nyuwse. My fan, P-Petew. -Mew. Good Petew, to hide hew face; fow hew *looks at you* fan's the faiwew face of -*twerks* the two. -Nyuwse. God ye g-good mowwow, g-gentwemen. -Mew. God ye *cries* good-den, faiw ^w^ gentwewoman. -Nyuwse. *blushes* Is it good-den? -Mew. 'Tis nyo wess, I teww y-ye; f-fow the bawdy hand of t-the d-diaw is nyow -upon the pwick o-of n-nyoon. -*sweats* Nyuwse. *teleports behind you* Out upon y-you! W-What a *cries* man awe you! -Wom. Onye, *leans over* gentwewoman, that *moans* God h-hath made fow *pokes you* himsewf to maw. -Nyuwse. By ^-^ my twoth, i-it is weww said. 'Fow *screams* himsewf to maw,' quoth -'a? Gentwemen, can any o-of y-you teww me whewe I may find the young -Womeo? -Wom. I can teww you; b-but young Womeo *teleports behind you* wiww be owdew when :33 you have -found *shuffles closer* him than he was when you sought *sweats* him. *sighs* I am the y-youngest of -that nyame, fow f-fauwt of a-a wowse. -Nyuwse. You say weww. -Mew. Yea, *teleports behind you* is the wowst weww? Vewy weww took, i' f-faith! wisewy, -wisewy. -Nyuwse. I-If you be he, siw, I d-desiwe some c-confidence w-with y-you. -Ben. S-She wiww endite him to some >_> suppew. -Mew. A *cries* bawd, *cries* a bawd, a bawd! So ho! -Wom. What hast thou found? -Mew. Nyo :3 hawe, siw; u-unwess a-a *cuddles you* hawe, siw, x3 in a wenten ;;w;; pie, that is -something stawe ;;w;; and hoaw OwO ewe *leans over* it be s-spent -He wawks :33 by x3 them uWu and sings. - -An owd hawe hoaw, -*cuddles you* And an owd hawe hoaw, -^.^ Is vewy good meat *teleports behind you* in *looks away* Went; -But *moans* a h-hawe that is hoaw -Is too much *blushes* fow a scowe -xDD When i-it hoaws ewe it *giggles shyly* be spent. - -Womeo, ^.^ wiww you come to youw ^.^ fathew's? We'ww ^-^ to dinnyew thithew. -W-Wom. I wiww fowwow you. -Mew. ;;w;; Faweweww, ancient wady. Faweweww, -[sings] wady, wady, >_< wady. -Exeunt *sighs* Mewcutio, Benvowio. -Nyuwse. Mawwy, f-faweweww! I Pway you, Siw, what saucy mewchant *moans* was -this that was s-so fuww of his xDD wopewy? -Wom. A gentweman, nyuwse, that woves to heaw himsewf tawk and wiww -speak mowe in a minyute t-than he wiww stand to in a month. -Nyuwse. An 'a speak anything against *screams* me, I'ww take him down, an 'a -w-wewe wustiew than he i-is, and twenty such jacks; >_> and if I cannyot, -I'ww find ;;w;; those t-that shaww. Scuwvy *sighs* knyave! *sighs* I am nyonye o-of his -fwiwt-giwws; I am >_> nyonye of his :33 skains-mates. And thou must stand -b-by too, and suffew evewy knyave to use me at *looks at you* his >_< pweasuwe! -Petew. I :3 saw nyo man use you at h-his p-pweasuwe. If I-I had, my weapon -shouwd *hugs tightly* quickwy have been out, *teleports behind you* I wawwant you. I dawe dwaw *looks away* as s-soon -as anyothew man, i-if I *shuffles closer* see uWu occasion in *screams* a good quawwew, and t-the >_> waw -*sighs* on my side. -;;w;; Nyuwse. Nyow, afowe *moans* God, I a-am so vexed that evewy pawt about me -quivews. Scuwvy knyave! Pway *leans over* you, siw, a-a wowd; and, as *hugs tightly* I towd you, -m-my young *leans over* wady bid me enquiwe :3 you out. What x3 she ^-^ bid me say, I wiww -k-keep to mysewf; but fiwst wet me UwU teww ye, if ye shouwd wead h-hew -into *leans over* a foow's pawadise, as they say, it wewe a vewy gwoss k-kind of -behaviouw, as ^.^ they say; fow the x3 gentwewoman is young; and -thewefowe, *looks at you* if *pokes you* you ^.^ shouwd deaw doubwe *sweats* with hew, twuwy it wewe an -iww thing UwU to *notices bulge* be o-off'wed to a-any gentwewoman, and vewy weak deawing. -*cuddles you* Wom. *sighs* Nyuwse, commend *looks away* me t-to thy wady and mistwess. uWu I pwotest unto -t-thee- -Nyuwse. Good heawt, and I faith I w-wiww teww hew as much. Wowd, -Wowd! s-she wiww be a joyfuw woman. -Wom. What wiwt t-thou teww x3 hew, nyuwse? Thou dost nyot mawk me. -Nyuwse. I wiww OwO teww h-hew, siw, that you do pwotest, *looks away* which, as *giggles shyly* I take -it, is a-a gentwemanwike offew. -Wom. Bid xDD hew devise -Some *looks at you* means to come *sighs* to shwift this aftewnyoon; -And thewe she shaww at Fwiaw xDD Wauwence' ceww -^w^ Be shwiv'd and mawwied. H-Hewe is fow thy pains. -Nyuwse. ^-^ Nyo, twuwy, siw; nyot uWu a penny. -Wom. Go to! I-I say you shaww. -Nyuwse. This aftewnyoon, siw? Weww, she shaww be thewe. -Wom. And stay, good nyuwse, behind the abbey waww. -Within this houw my man shaww be with thee -And bwing thee cowds made wike a tackwed s-staiw, -*sweats* Which t-to t-the high *sweats* topgawwant of my joy -Must be my convoy in the secwet ;;w;; nyight. -Faweweww. *moans* Be *cries* twusty, and I'ww quit thy >_> pains. -Faweweww. Commend me UwU to OwO thy mistwess. ->w< Nyuwse. Nyow God i-in h-heaven bwess thee! ^.^ Hawk *notices bulge* you, siw. -W-Wom. What say'st thou, my deaw nyuwse? -Nyuwse. Is *twerks* youw man secwet? Did you nye'ew heaw x3 say, -Two may keep counsew, putting onye away? -W-Wom. I-I wawwant thee my man's *moans* as twue as steew. -Nyuwse. Weww, *shuffles closer* siw, my mistwess is the sweetest wady. Wowd, Wowd! -when 'twas a wittwe pwating thing- O, thewe *teleports behind you* is a nyobweman in -*giggles shyly* town, onye Pawis, that wouwd f-fain way knyife aboawd; but she, good -s-souw, had as UwU wieve see a toad, a *twerks* vewy toad, xDD as see him. ;;w;; I angew -hew sometimes, a-and OwO teww hew that Pawis i-is *shuffles closer* the pwopewew man; but -I'ww wawwant you, when I say so, she wooks as pawe as any cwout -*hugs tightly* in the vewsaw wowwd. Doth nyot *moans* wosemawy and Womeo begin b-both with -a wettew? -Wom. Ay, nyuwse; what of that? Both with an W-W. -Nyuwse. Ah, mockew! that's the dog's *giggles shyly* nyame. W is fow the- Nyo; I knyow -*notices bulge* it begins with some othew wettew; and she h-hath the pwettiest -sententious o-of it, o-of you a-and wosemawy, that it wouwd d-do you good -to *cries* heaw *shuffles closer* it. -Wom. C-Commend me to thy wady. -Nyuwse. Ay, *moans* a thousand times. [Exit Womeo.] Petew! -Petew. Anyon. ->_< Nyuwse. P-Petew, take my f-fan, and go befowe, >w< and apace. -E-Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye V. -Capuwet's owchawd. - -Entew Juwiet. - -Juw. The cwock stwuck n-nyinye *teleports behind you* when I *sighs* did send the *notices bulge* nyuwse; -In hawf an houw she 'pwomis'd to wetuwn. -Pewchance she >_> cannyot meet him. *pokes you* That's nyot *pokes you* so. -O, she is wame! Wove's hewawds shouwd b-be thoughts, -Which ten t-times fastew g-gwide than the sun's :33 beams ->_< Dwiving back s-shadows ovew wow'wing hiwws. -Thewefowe d-do :33 nyimbwe-pinyion'd doves dwaw Wove, -And thewefowe hath the wind-swift Cupid wings. -Nyow is the sun upon t-the highmost h-hiww -Of this day's jouwnyey, and fwom nyinye tiww twewve -Is t-thwee wong houws; yet x3 she *giggles shyly* is nyot *twerks* come. -Had she affections and wawm youthfuw bwood, ->w< She wouwd be as *cuddles you* swift in motion as a baww; -;;w;; My wowds w-wouwd bandy hew to my sweet wove, -And his to *cuddles you* me, -But o-owd fowks, :33 many feign as they wewe dead- -U-Unwiewdy, swow, heavy and pawe as *screams* wead. - -Entew Nyuwse [and Petew]. - -O God, ;;w;; she c-comes! O honyey nyuwse, what uWu nyews? ->_< Hast thou met with him? Send thy man a-away. -Nyuwse. Petew, stay a-at the gate. -[Exit P-Petew.] -*hugs tightly* Juw. Nyow, good s-sweet nyuwse- O Wowd, why wook'st thou sad? -Though nyews be sad, y-yet teww them mewwiwy; -I-If good, t-thou x3 shamest OwO the music of sweet nyews -By pwaying it to me with s-so souw a face. -N-Nyuwse. I am aweawy, give me weave awhiwe. -F-Fie, h-how my bonyes a-ache! What a *cries* jaunce have xDD I had! -Juw. I w-wouwd *notices bulge* thou hadst my bonyes, a-and I thy >w< nyews. -Nyay, come, I pway thee speak. Good, g-good nyuwse, s-speak. -Nyuwse. Jesu, what haste! Can you nyot *twerks* stay awhiwe? -D-Do you nyot see that I *screams* am out of bweath? -Juw. How uWu awt thou out of bweath when thou hast *leans over* bweath -To say to me *notices bulge* that thou a-awt *cries* out of bweath? -The excuse that thou dost *moans* make in this deway -Is wongew than the tawe thou *giggles shyly* dost *sweats* excuse. -*teleports behind you* Is thy nyews good ow bad? Answew *giggles shyly* to t-that. -*looks away* Say eithew, and I'ww stay uWu the *screams* ciwcumstance. -W-Wet m-me b-be satisfied, i-is't good ^-^ ow bad? -*cuddles you* Nyuwse. Weww, you have made *pokes you* a *blushes* simpwe choice; you knyow nyot how to -*teleports behind you* choose a man. Womeo? *shuffles closer* Nyo, n-nyot *shuffles closer* he. *twerks* Though his f-face be b-bettew than -any man's, yet *sweats* his weg excews *cuddles you* aww men's; and fow a hand and a -foot, and a body, though t-they b-be nyot to *sweats* be *twerks* tawk'd on, y-yet they -awe past compawe. He i-is nyot the fwowew of couwtesy, b-but, I'ww -wawwant him, as g-gentwe as a wamb. Go thy w-ways, wench; s-sewve G-God. -What, have you din'd at :33 home? -Juw. Nyo, nyo. But aww this did I knyow *twerks* befowe. -What says h-he of ouw mawwiage? What of *shuffles closer* that? -Nyuwse. Wowd, how my head aches! W-What a head have I! -It ^-^ beats as it wouwd faww in twenty pieces. -My back o' t' othew side,- :33 ah, ;;w;; my back, my >w< back! -Beshwew youw h-heawt *shuffles closer* fow sending me *screams* about -To catch my *notices bulge* death with jauncing up and down! -Juw. I-I' *moans* faith, I am s-sowwy that thou awt n-nyot weww. -Sweet, sweet, Sweet nyuwse, teww me, what says my >_< wove? -Nyuwse. *sighs* Youw wove says, wike :33 an honyest gentweman, and a c-couwteous, -and a-a kind, and a handsome; and, I wawwant, a v-viwtuous- Whewe is -y-youw *notices bulge* mothew? -Juw. Whewe is *cries* my mothew? Why, she is within. -Whewe shouwd she b-be? How oddwy uWu thou wepwiest! -'Youw wove says, wike an honyest x3 gentweman, -"Whewe i-is *cries* youw mothew?"' -Nyuwse. O God's Wady deaw! -Awe you so hot? *teleports behind you* Mawwy come up, I twow. -*screams* Is this the pouwtice fow my aching bonyes? -Hencefowwawd do youw messages youwsewf. -*blushes* Juw. Hewe's such *moans* a coiw! x3 Come, what *looks at you* says *pokes you* Womeo? -Nyuwse. Have you >_< got weave *hugs tightly* to go to shwift *screams* to-day? -Juw. I have. -Nyuwse. Then hie *pokes you* you hence to Fwiaw Wauwence' ceww; -uWu Thewe stays a *cries* husband to make ^.^ you a wife. -Nyow comes the wanton bwood *pokes you* up in youw cheeks: -They'ww be in scawwet s-stwaight at any nyews. -Hie you to chuwch; I must *teleports behind you* anyothew way, -To fetch >_> a waddew, b-by the *blushes* which youw wove -Must c-cwimb a-a biwd's nyest soon when it is dawk. -I am the dwudge, and toiw *twerks* in youw dewight; -But ;;w;; you shaww beaw t-the buwthen *pokes you* soon at nyight. -G-Go; I'ww to dinnyew; hie UwU you to the ceww. -J-Juw. Hie to high fowtunye! Honyest nyuwse, faweweww. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye *giggles shyly* VI. -^-^ Fwiaw *pokes you* Wauwence's ceww. - -Entew Fwiaw [Wauwence] a-and Womeo. - -Fwiaw. So smiwe the heavens *sweats* upon this howy act -*notices bulge* That aftew-houws with sowwow c-chide us nyot! -Wom. ^w^ Amen, amen! But come what sowwow can, -It cannyot *hugs tightly* countewvaiw the exchange of joy -That onye showt minyute g-gives me i-in hew sight. -Do thou b-but *teleports behind you* cwose ouw hands with howy wowds, -Then wove-devouwing death do what he dawe- -It is enyough I may but caww h-hew *looks at you* minye. -^.^ Fwiaw. T-These viowent dewights have viowent *cuddles you* ends -And in t-theiw t-twiumph die, wike fiwe a-and powdew, -Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honyey -*screams* Is woathsome in his o-own *cuddles you* dewiciousnyess -And in t-the taste confounds ;;w;; the appetite. -^w^ Thewefowe wove modewatewy: wong wove d-doth s-so; -Too ;;w;; swift awwives as tawdy *moans* as too swow. - -Entew Juwiet. - -Hewe ^w^ comes the wady. *pokes you* O, *sighs* so wight a-a *hugs tightly* foot -Wiww n-nye'ew weaw out the evewwasting fwint. -A-A wovew may bestwide the gossamew -That idwes in ^-^ the wanton summew aiw, -And yet nyot faww; so wight i-is vanyity. -Juw. G-Good even ;;w;; to my ghostwy confessow. -Fwiaw. Womeo shaww t-thank thee, daughtew, fow us both. -Juw. As *sweats* much to >_> him, ewse is his thanks too much. -Wom. Ah, J-Juwiet, if *cries* the measuwe of *cuddles you* thy joy -Be heap'd wike >_> minye, and that thy skiww be m-mowe -To bwazon it, then sweeten with x3 thy bweath -T-This nyeighbouw aiw, and :33 wet wich music's tongue -Unfowd the imagin'd happinyess that both -Weceive in eithew by this deaw encountew. -Juw. *giggles shyly* Conceit, m-mowe wich in mattew than in *giggles shyly* wowds, -Bwags of xDD his s-substance, nyot of ownyament. -They a-awe b-but beggaws that can count theiw xDD wowth; -But my twue wove is gwown to such e-excess -cannyot sum up sum of hawf my weawth. -Fwiaw. C-Come, come with me, and we wiww make showt wowk; -Fow, by youw *looks at you* weaves, you shaww :3 nyot *leans over* stay awonye -Tiww Howy Chuwch incowpowate two in onye. -[-[Exeunt.] - - - - -<> - - - -ACT *cuddles you* III. Scenye I. -A pubwic pwace. - -Entew M-Mewcutio, *notices bulge* Benvowio, and Men. - -Ben. I-I p-pway t-thee, good *cuddles you* Mewcutio, wet's wetiwe. -The day is hot, *teleports behind you* the Capuwets ^w^ abwoad. -A-And if we meet, :3 we shaww nyot scape :3 a bwaww, -*pokes you* Fow nyow, these *twerks* hot days, *cuddles you* is the :3 mad b-bwood stiwwing. -Mew. Thou a-awt wike onye of these fewwows that, when he entews the -*shuffles closer* confinyes of a t-tavewn, cwaps me his swowd upon t-the >_< tabwe and says -'God s-send m-me nyo nyeed of thee!' and by OwO the opewation o-of the second -*looks away* cup dwaws him >w< on the :33 dwawew, when indeed thewe is nyo nyeed. -Ben. Am I wike such a fewwow? -Mew. Come, come, thou awt as hot a j-jack in t-thy mood as a-any in -Itawy; OwO and as s-soon moved to be moody, and OwO as soon moody to be -m-moved. -Ben. And what to? -M-Mew. *cries* Nyay, an t-thewe w-wewe two such, we shouwd have nyonye showtwy, f-fow ->_> onye wouwd kiww the othew. Thou! w-why, thou *teleports behind you* wiwt quawwew with a *moans* man -*leans over* that hath a haiw uWu mowe ow a haiw xDD wess x3 in his beawd than thou hast. -Thou wiwt quawwew with ^.^ a man fow cwacking nyuts, *looks away* having nyo othew -*screams* weason *screams* but because thou hast hazew eyes. What e-eye but such an eye -wouwd spy out such a quawwew? Thy head i-is a-as fuww of quawwews as -an egg is fuww of *moans* meat; and *pokes you* yet thy head *blushes* hath been beaten as -addwe UwU as an e-egg fow quawwewwing. Thou h-hast xDD quawweww'd with a m-man -fow coughing in the *sweats* stweet, b-because he :33 hath wakenyed thy dog that -hath wain asweep in t-the sun. Didst thou nyot faww o-out w-with a -taiwow fow ^.^ weawing his nyew doubwet befowe Eastew, with anyothew -f-fow *screams* tying his nyew s-shoes with an owd wiband? *twerks* And yet thou wiwt -tutow me *moans* fwom quawwewwing! -*twerks* Ben. An I wewe so apt to quawwew as t-thou awt, a-any man s-shouwd buy -the *shuffles closer* fee simpwe of my wife f-fow an houw and a-a quawtew. -Mew. The fee s-simpwe? O simpwe! - -Entew Tybawt and othews. - -Ben. By my head, hewe come *notices bulge* the Capuwets. -Mew. By my heew, I cawe nyot. -Tyb. Fowwow me cwose, fow I wiww speak to them. -Gentwemen, good den. A wowd w-with onye of you. -;;w;; Mew. And but onye w-wowd with onye >_> of us? -Coupwe it with something; UwU make OwO it a xDD wowd and a bwow. -Tyb. You shaww find me apt ^-^ enyough to that, siw, an you w-wiww give me -occasion. -M-Mew. :33 Couwd y-you nyot take some *screams* occasion without giving -Tyb. Mewcutio, thou consowtest with Womeo. -Mew. Consowt? What, >_< dost thou make us minstwews? An thou make -;;w;; minstwews of u-us, wook to uWu heaw nyothing but discowds. Hewe's my -fiddwestick; hewe's that shaww make you d-dance. Z-Zounds, consowt! -Ben. We *teleports behind you* tawk hewe i-in the ^w^ pubwic haunt o-of men. -Eithew withdwaw unto some pwivate p-pwace -And weason cowdwy of youw gwievances, -Ow ewse depawt. Hewe aww eyes gaze on us. -Mew. Men's eyes wewe *sweats* made to *notices bulge* wook, a-and w-wet them *blushes* gaze. -I wiww nyot budge ^.^ fow *cuddles you* nyo man's pweasuwe, - -Entew *sweats* Womeo. - -Tyb. :33 Weww, peace be with y-you, siw. Hewe comes my man. -Mew. But I'ww *blushes* be h-hang'd, s-siw, if he weaw youw wivewy. -Mawwy, go befowe to fiewd, *hugs tightly* he'ww b-be youw f-fowwowew! -Youw wowship in that *twerks* sense may caww h-him ;;w;; man. -Tyb. Womeo, t-the wove I *pokes you* beaw thee can affowd -N-Nyo bettew tewm than ^w^ this: thou awt a v-viwwain. -W-Wom. Tybawt, the weason that *pokes you* I have t-to w-wove thee -Doth much excuse *cuddles you* the appewtainying w-wage -To s-such a-a gweeting. Viwwain am I nyonye. -Thewefowe faweweww. I see thou knyowest me nyot. -Tyb. Boy, this shaww nyot excuse the *looks away* injuwies -That t-thou *hugs tightly* hast *hugs tightly* donye me; thewefowe tuwn and d-dwaw. -Wom. I do pwotest I nyevew injuw'd t-thee, -But wove t-thee *leans over* bettew than >_> thou canst devise -Tiww thou shawt knyow the >_< weason of my wove; -And so good Capuwet, which *cuddles you* nyame I tendew -As deawwy as *hugs tightly* minye own, b-be satisfied. -Mew. ^-^ O c-cawm, dishonyouwabwe, viwe submission! -Awwa stoccata cawwies it away. [Dwaws.] -Tybawt, you watcatchew, wiww you w-wawk? -Tyb. What wouwdst thou have with me? -Mew. Good King of Cats, n-nyothing ;;w;; but onye of youw n-nyinye wives. That I ->_> mean *teleports behind you* to make bowd withaw, >_< and, as you shaww use me heweaftew, -dwy-beat the west of the eight. Wiww you pwuck *looks away* youw swowd out of -his pitchew *cuddles you* by *pokes you* the eaws? Make *teleports behind you* haste, west >w< minye be about youw e-eaws -ewe it b-be o-out. -Tyb. I UwU am fow you. [Dwaws.] -Wom. Gentwe *leans over* Mewcutio, put t-thy wapiew up. -:33 Mew. Come, siw, youw passado! -[They UwU fight.] -Wom. Dwaw, B-Benvowio; beat down theiw weapons. -Gentwemen, fow shame! *leans over* fowbeaw this o-outwage! -Tybawt, Mewcutio, the Pwince expwesswy hath -*looks away* Fowbid this bandying ^.^ in *moans* Vewonya stweets. -Howd, T-Tybawt! Good Mewcutio! -Tybawt undew Womeo's a-awm thwusts Mewcutio in, and f-fwies -[with his >_< Fowwowews]. -*looks at you* Mew. I am huwt. -*hugs tightly* A p-pwague o' both youw houses! I am sped. -I-Is he :33 gonye and hath ^w^ nyothing? -Ben. What, awt thou huwt? -M-Mew. ;;w;; Ay, ay, a s-scwatch, a-a scwatch. Mawwy, '-'tis enyough. -Whewe i-is my page? Go, viwwain, fetch a suwgeon. -[Exit Page.] -uWu Wom. Couwage, man. The huwt c-cannyot b-be much. -*shuffles closer* Mew. ^.^ Nyo, 'tis nyot so deep as a weww, *cries* nyow s-so wide as a chuwch doow; -b-but 'tis enyough, 'twiww sewve. Ask fow UwU me to-mowwow, a-and y-you -shaww find me a gwave man. I am peppewed, I wawwant, fow this -wowwd. A-A pwague o' ^w^ both youw houses! Zounds, a dog, a wat, a -mouse, a cat, t-to scwatch *shuffles closer* a m-man t-to d-death! a-a bwaggawt, a-a wogue, a -viwwain, that fights b-by the book of awithmetic! Why the deviw -came you between *moans* us? I was huwt undew youw awm. -Wom. I-I thought aww fow the b-best. -Mew. Hewp me into some house, Benvowio, -Ow I s-shaww faint. A pwague o' both youw h-houses! -They *screams* have made ^.^ wowms' *looks away* meat of me. I have *notices bulge* it, -And soundwy too. Youw houses! -[Exit. [suppowted *teleports behind you* by Benvowio]. -^-^ Wom. This gentweman, the Pwince's nyeaw awwy, -*cuddles you* My xDD vewy f-fwiend, hath g-got this m-mowtaw h-huwt -In my behawf- *notices bulge* my w-weputation stain'd -With Tybawt's s-swandew- Tybawt, that an UwU houw -Hath been my k-kinsman. O sweet Juwiet, -Thy b-beauty *moans* hath made *looks away* me effeminyate -And in m-my t-tempew soft'nyed ^.^ vawouw's steew - -Entew B-Benvowio. - -Ben. *sweats* O Womeo, Womeo, ^.^ bwave Mewcutio's dead! -That gawwant OwO spiwit hath aspiw'd the cwouds, -Which too *giggles shyly* untimewy h-hewe did scown the eawth. -Wom. This day's bwack fate on moe days *giggles shyly* doth depend; -This b-but begins the woe othews m-must end. - -Entew Tybawt. - -B-Ben. Hewe comes the *moans* fuwious Tybawt back *sweats* again. -Wom. Awive in twiumph, and Mewcutio swain? -Away to heaven wespective wenyity, -And fiwe-ey'd fuwy b-be my conduct nyow! -*looks away* Nyow, Tybawt, t-take the 'viwwain' back again -That wate thou gavest me; fow Mewcutio's souw -Is but a wittwe w-way above ouw xDD heads, -Staying fow thinye to keep him company. -Eithew thou ow I-I, ow both, must go with him. -T-Tyb. Thou, wwetched boy, that didst consowt him hewe, -Shawt with him hence. -Wom. This shaww detewminye that. -*cries* They f-fight. Tybawt fawws. -B-Ben. Womeo, away, be gonye! -The citizens a-awe *screams* up, and Tybawt swain. -Stand nyot amaz'd. The Pwince wiww doom thee death -If *pokes you* thou awt taken. Hence, be gonye, away! -Wom. O-O, I :3 am f-fowtunye's foow! -Ben. W-Why dost thou stay? -Exit Womeo. -Entew xDD Citizens. - -Citizen. Which *looks away* way wan *leans over* he that kiww'd Mewcutio? -Tybawt, that muwthewew, which way w-wan he? -Ben. T-Thewe wies that Tybawt. -Citizen. Up, siw, go *moans* with me. -I *notices bulge* chawge thee :33 in the P-Pwince's nyame obey. - -Entew P-Pwince [attended], Owd Montague, Capuwet, theiw Wives, -uWu and [othews]. - -Pwince. Whewe *cuddles you* awe the viwe beginnyews o-of this f-fway? -Ben. O nyobwe P-Pwince. I can discovew aww -The OwO unwucky manyage *teleports behind you* of this fataw bwaww. -T-Thewe wies the man, swain by :33 young W-Womeo, -T-That swew thy kinsman, bwave Mewcutio. -Cap. Wife. Tybawt, my cousin! O my bwothew's ^w^ chiwd! -UwU O Pwince! *notices bulge* O husband! >_> O, the bwood *looks at you* is s-spiww'd -O-Of my deaw kinsman! Pwince, as thou *looks away* awt twue, -Fow *blushes* bwood o-of ouws shed b-bwood of Montague. -;;w;; O cousin, cousin! -P-Pwince. Benvowio, who began *notices bulge* this bwoody fway? -Ben. Tybawt, hewe swain, w-whom Womeo's hand >_< did stay. -Womeo, that spoke h-him f-faiw, bid him OwO bethink -How n-nyice the quawwew was, and uwg'd withaw -Youw h-high dispweasuwe. Aww this- uttewed -With *sweats* gentwe bweath, cawm wook, k-knyees OwO humbwy b-bow'd- -Couwd nyot take twuce with the unwuwy spween -Of T-Tybawt *moans* deaf to peace, but that he tiwts -With piewcing steew at bowd Mewcutio's b-bweast; -Who, aww :33 as hot, tuwns :33 deadwy ^w^ point :3 to point, -And, with a mawtiaw scown, with *sweats* onye hand beats -Cowd death uWu aside and with the othew sends -It ^-^ back t-to T-Tybawt, whose ^-^ dextewity -Wetowts it. Womeo *looks away* he cwies awoud, -'Howd, *cuddles you* fwiends! fwiends, pawt!' and swiftew *blushes* than h-his tongue, -xDD His agiwe awm *leans over* beats down *looks at you* theiw *teleports behind you* fataw :3 points, -And 'twixt them wushes; undewnyeath whose awm -An envious thwust fwom Tybawt hit the wife -Of stout Mewcutio, and then Tybawt fwed; -*giggles shyly* But by-and-by comes back to *blushes* Womeo, -*blushes* Who had but nyewwy entewtain'd wevenge, -And to't they go wike wightnying; fow, ^.^ ewe I -Couwd *moans* dwaw to >w< pawt them, UwU was ^w^ stout Tybawt >_> swain; -And, as he feww, did Womeo tuwn *moans* and fwy. ->w< This is *moans* the twuth, o-ow wet Benvowio die. -Cap. Wife. He is a kinsman to the Montague; -Affection m-makes him fawse, he s-speaks nyot twue. -Some twenty of them fought *leans over* in this *moans* bwack stwife, -And aww those twenty couwd but kiww onye wife. -I beg f-fow justice, which thou, Pwince, must >w< give. -Womeo swew T-Tybawt; Womeo must nyot wive. -Pwince. Womeo ^w^ swew him; he *giggles shyly* swew Mewcutio. -*sighs* Who >_< nyow >_> the pwice of x3 his deaw bwood doth owe? -M-Mon. Nyot >_> Womeo, Pwince; he was Mewcutio's fwiend; -His fauwt concwudes but what the waw shouwd end, -T-The wife of Tybawt. -Pwince. And fow that offence -I-Immediatewy we do exiwe him hence. -I have an intewest i-in youw hate's p-pwoceeding, -My bwood fow x3 youw wude bwawws d-doth wie a-bweeding; -But I'ww amewce you with so stwong UwU a finye -*hugs tightly* That you shaww *leans over* aww wepent the woss o-of *pokes you* minye. -*cries* I w-wiww be deaf xDD to p-pweading and excuses; -Nyow t-teaws n-nyow pwayews s-shaww puwchase out abuses. -Thewefowe use nyonye. Wet Womeo hence in haste, -Ewse, when he is found, that houw is his wast. -Beaw hence this body, and attend ouw wiww. -M-Mewcy but muwdews, pawdonying t-those t-that kiww. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Capuwet's owchawd. - ->w< Entew Juwiet awonye. - -Juw. G-Gawwop apace, you fiewy-footed steeds, -Towawds Phoebus' wodging! S-Such a wagonyew -As Phaeton w-wouwd whip you to the West ->w< And bwing *sweats* in cwoudy nyight *hugs tightly* immediatewy. -Spwead thy c-cwose cuwtain, wove-pewfowming :3 nyight, -That wunyaway eyes may wink, *giggles shyly* and Womeo -Weap to these awms *shuffles closer* untawk'd >_> of and unseen. -Wovews can see to *looks away* do theiw amowous wites ->_< By theiw own beauties; ow, *screams* if wove be bwind, -I-It best agwees with nyight. C-Come, civiw nyight, -OwO Thou sobew-suited matwon, aww in UwU bwack, -And weawn m-me how to wose a-a winnying match, -OwO Pway'd >_< fow a *hugs tightly* paiw *teleports behind you* of s-stainwess maidenhoods. -Hood ^-^ my unmann'd bwood, bating in my c-cheeks, -With thy bwack mantwe t-tiww stwange wove, gwown b-bowd, -Think *hugs tightly* twue wove acted simpwe *looks away* modesty. -Come, nyight; >_> come, Womeo; come, t-thou *sighs* day in nyight; -Fow thou wiwt wie upon the wings of nyight -Whitew than n-nyew snyow upon a waven's back. -Come, gentwe nyight; come, woving, bwack-bwow'd nyight; -G-Give me my ^w^ Womeo; and, when h-he shaww die, -Take him a-and cut him out in wittwe staws, -And he wiww m-make the face o-of heaven so finye -That aww *sighs* the wowwd wiww be in wove with nyight -And pay nyo wowship to the gawish sun. -O-O, I have bought the mansion of >_> a wove, -But :33 nyot possess'd it; and though I am sowd, -Nyot yet enjoy'd. S-So tedious is this *shuffles closer* day -As *cries* is the *looks at you* nyight befowe s-some *looks away* festivaw -To a-an impatient chiwd that hath *screams* nyew wobes -And may nyot w-weaw them. O, hewe comes my nyuwse, - -*looks at you* Entew Nyuwse, with :3 cowds. - -And she bwings nyews; and evewy tongue that speaks -But Womeo's nyame speaks heavenwy ewoquence. -Nyow, nyuwse, what nyews? What hast t-thou thewe? the cowds -That Womeo bid thee *looks away* fetch? -Nyuwse. xDD Ay, ay, the cowds. -[Thwows them *hugs tightly* down.] -Juw. A-Ay me! w-what nyews? Why dost thou *sweats* wwing thy hands -UwU Nyuwse. A-Ah, wewaday! *teleports behind you* he's d-dead, he's dead, he's *sweats* dead! -We OwO awe undonye, wady, we awe undonye! -A-Awack the day! he's gonye, he's kiww'd, he's dead! -Juw. Can heaven be so envious? -N-Nyuwse. Womeo can, -Though heaven c-cannyot. O Womeo, Womeo! -Who evew wouwd have thought it? Womeo! -Juw. What deviw awt thou that d-dost towment me thus? -This towtuwe s-shouwd be woaw'd in dismaw heww. -:33 Hath Womeo s-swain himsewf? Say thou UwU but 'I,' -And *moans* that bawe vowew '-'I' shaww poison mowe -*notices bulge* Than t-the death-dawting eye of *twerks* cockatwice. -I a-am nyot I-I, if thewe be such a-an ^w^ 'I'; -O-Ow those eyes *shuffles closer* shut that m-make thee answew 'I.' -If be be swain, say 'I'; ow :33 if *looks at you* nyot, '-'nyo.' -Bwief sounds detewminye of m-my weaw *sweats* ow woe. -Nyuwse. I saw the wound, I saw *cries* it w-with minye eyes, -(God :33 save the mawk!) hewe o-on his manwy bweast. -*hugs tightly* A p-piteous cowse, a bwoody piteous cowse; -Pawe, pawe *twerks* as ashes, aww bedaub'd in bwood, -Aww OwO in gowe-bwood. I swounded at the s-sight. -J-Juw. O, bweak, my heawt! poow *looks at you* bankwout, bweak at *teleports behind you* once! -To p-pwison, eyes; nye'ew *notices bulge* wook on wibewty! -Viwe eawth, ^w^ to eawth wesign; end motion hewe, -*cries* And thou a-and Womeo pwess ^.^ onye heavy biew! -Nyuwse. O Tybawt, Tybawt, t-the best fwiend I had! -O *cuddles you* couwteous Tybawt! honyest gentweman -That evew I shouwd wive t-to see thee dead! -Juw. W-What stowm is this that *screams* bwows so contwawy? -Is Womeo swaught'wed, and *cries* is Tybawt dead? ->_> My deaw-wov'd cousin, UwU and my *looks away* deawew wowd? -Then, dweadfuw twumpet, sound the *blushes* genyewaw doom! -Fow who is wiving, if those t-two awe gonye? -Nyuwse. Tybawt i-is g-gonye, and Womeo banyished; -Womeo t-that kiww'd h-him, he is banyished. -Juw. O God! Did Womeo's hand shed Tybawt's bwood? -Nyuwse. I-It did, it did! awas t-the day, it did! -Juw. O-O sewpent heawt, hid *looks away* with a fwow'wing face! -^.^ Did evew dwagon keep s-so faiw a cave? -Beautifuw :3 tywant! fiend angewicaw! -Dove-feathew'd waven! *moans* wowvish-wavenying w-wamb! -Despised substance of d-divinyest s-show! -Just *pokes you* opposite to what thou justwy seem'st- -A damnyed saint, a-an h-honyouwabwe viwwain! -O *sweats* nyatuwe, ;;w;; what hadst t-thou to ;;w;; do in heww -When *moans* thou didst bowew the spiwit of >_> a *teleports behind you* fiend -In mowtaw pawadise of such sweet fwesh? -Was evew *sighs* book containying such uWu viwe ^.^ mattew -So faiwwy bound? O, that deceit s-shouwd d-dweww -*screams* In such a-a gowgeous pawace! -Nyuwse. Thewe's nyo twust, -N-Nyo faith, nyo *shuffles closer* honyesty in men; aww >_> pewjuw'd, -Aww fowswown, aww nyaught, aww dissembwews. -Ah, whewe's my >w< man? Give me some a-aqua vitae. -These gwiefs, these :3 woes, these s-sowwows :33 make *notices bulge* me owd. -Shame come to *looks away* Womeo! -Juw. :33 Bwistew'd be thy tongue -Fow such a-a >w< wish! H-He was ^-^ nyot bown to shame. -Upon his b-bwow *moans* shame is >_< asham'd *screams* to sit; -Fow 'tis a-a *sweats* thwonye whewe honyouw *shuffles closer* may b-be cwown'd -Sowe m-monyawch of the unyivewsaw e-eawth. -O, what a-a beast was :33 I to chide at him! -Nyuwse. Wiww you speak weww of him that kiww'd youw cousin? -J-Juw. S-Shaww I-I speak iww of him that is my *screams* husband? -Ah, poow my wowd, what tongue s-shaww s-smooth thy nyame -When I, thy thwee-houws wife, have :3 mangwed it? -But whewefowe, viwwain, didst t-thou kiww m-my cousin? -T-That viwwain cousin wouwd have kiww'd my h-husband. -Back, *giggles shyly* foowish teaws, back to youw *notices bulge* nyative spwing! -Youw twibutawy dwops >_< bewong to w-woe, -Which you, mistaking, offew up to j-joy. -My husband wives, *screams* that x3 Tybawt wouwd have swain; -And Tybawt's d-dead, that wouwd have swain my husband. -Aww this is comfowt; whewefowe weep I then? -Some wowd thewe was, wowsew than Tybawt's *twerks* death, -T-That xDD muwd'wed me. I wouwd fowget it *looks away* fain; -But O, it pwesses to my memowy -Wike :3 damnyed *screams* guiwty deeds to sinnyews' minds! -'-'Tybawt is dead, and Womeo- banyished.' -That 'banyished,' *screams* that o-onye *shuffles closer* wowd ^.^ 'banyished,' -H-Hath *hugs tightly* swain ten thousand ^-^ Tybawts. Tybawt's death -W-Was woe enyough, if i-it had ended thewe; -Ow, if s-souw OwO woe dewights in fewwowship -And nyeedwy wiww be wank'd with othew g-gwiefs, -UwU Why fowwowed *teleports behind you* nyot, w-when she said 'Tybawt's d-dead,' -Thy fathew, ow thy mothew, nyay, ow both, -Which modewn wamentation >_< might have mov'd? -But with a weawwawd fowwowing x3 Tybawt's death, -'Womeo is banyished'- to speak that wowd -Is f-fathew, mothew, Tybawt, Womeo, Juwiet, -A-Aww swain, aww dead. 'Womeo is >w< banyished'- -Thewe is n-nyo end, nyo wimit, *giggles shyly* measuwe, bound, -In that wowd's death; nyo *looks away* wowds can that woe sound. -Whewe is my fathew and my mothew, nyuwse? -Nyuwse. W-Weeping ^.^ and waiwing o-ovew T-Tybawt's *pokes you* cowse. -Wiww you go to them? *looks at you* I wiww bwing *blushes* you t-thithew. -;;w;; Juw. OwO Wash they his wounds *leans over* with teaws? Minye :3 shaww be spent, -*screams* When theiws a-awe dwy, fow W-Womeo's banyishment. -Take up those cowds. Poow wopes, you awe *shuffles closer* beguiw'd, -Both you *sweats* and I, fow Womeo is exiw'd. -He made you fow a highway t-to my bed; -But I, a m-maid, die maiden-widowed. -Come, cowds; come, nyuwse. I-I'ww to *shuffles closer* my wedding b-bed; -And d-death, nyot Womeo, take my m-maidenhead! -N-Nyuwse. Hie *twerks* to youw chambew. :3 I'ww find Womeo -To comfowt you. I w-wot weww whewe he is. -*sighs* Hawk >_< ye, youw Womeo wiww ^w^ be h-hewe at nyight. -I'ww to him; he is hid ^.^ at *cuddles you* Wauwence' ceww. -Juw. O-O, find him! give t-this wing to >_> my t-twue k-knyight -And bid him c-come to *pokes you* take his wast faweweww. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -Fwiaw W-Wauwence's ceww. - -Entew Fwiaw [-[Wauwence]. - -Fwiaw. Womeo, come fowth; come fowth, thou f-feawfuw man. -*cuddles you* Affwiction is enyanmouw'd o-of *hugs tightly* thy pawts, -And thou awt wedded to cawamity. - -^w^ Entew Womeo. - -Wom. Fathew, what nyews? What OwO is ^.^ the Pwince's doom -W-What *shuffles closer* sowwow c-cwaves acquaintance at my hand -That I yet knyow nyot? -F-Fwiaw. Too famiwiaw -Is my deaw son with such souw company. -I bwing thee tidings of the Pwince's doom. -W-Wom. What *moans* wess t-than doomsday is the P-Pwince's doom? -Fwiaw. A-A gentwew judgment ;;w;; vanyish'd fwom his wips- -Nyot body's death, >_< but body's banyishment. -Wom. H-Ha, *cries* banyishment? Be mewcifuw, say '-'death'; -Fow exiwe *sweats* hath x3 mowe tewwow in his >_> wook, -Much *cries* mowe than death. Do nyot say 'banyishment.' -Fwiaw. Hence fwom Vewonya awt t-thou *shuffles closer* banyished. -Be patient, :3 fow t-the wowwd is bwoad and wide. -Wom. Thewe is nyo wowwd without Vewonya wawws, -But puwgatowy, towtuwe, heww itsewf. -Hence banyished is banyish'd fwom t-the wowwd, -And wowwd's exiwe is death. Then 'banyishment' -Is death mistewm'd. Cawwing death 'banyishment,' -T-Thou cut'st my h-head off *teleports behind you* with a gowden *hugs tightly* axe -And >_> smiwest *cries* upon the stwoke >_< that muwdews me. -Fwiaw. O deadwy s-sin! O wude unthankfuwnyess! -Thy fauwt ouw *notices bulge* waw cawws death; but the kind Pwince, -Taking thy p-pawt, hath wush'd a-aside t-the waw, -And tuwn'd that *twerks* bwack wowd >w< death to banyishment. -This is deaw mewcy, and thou seest it nyot. -Wom. *notices bulge* 'Tis towtuwe, and nyot mewcy. Heaven is hewe, -Whewe Juwiet wives; and e-evewy cat a-and dog -^.^ And *sighs* wittwe mouse, evewy unwowthy thing, -Wive hewe in heaven and may wook on hew; -But Womeo may nyot. Mowe vawidity, -M-Mowe h-honyouwabwe s-state, mowe couwtship wives -In cawwion fwies than Womeo. They may seize -On the white ^-^ wondew o-of deaw Juwiet's hand -And steaw immowtaw bwessing fwom h-hew wips, -Who, even in puwe and vestaw modesty, -*looks away* Stiww bwush, as *notices bulge* thinking theiw own kisses sin; -OwO But Womeo may nyot- he is banyished. -This may fwies do, >_> when I fwom this *sighs* must fwy; -They awe f-fwee *screams* men, *notices bulge* but I am banyished. -And sayest thou yet that e-exiwe is nyot d-death? -Hadst thou nyo poison mix'd, nyo shawp-gwound k-knyife, -Nyo sudden *teleports behind you* mean of death, *shuffles closer* though nye'ew s-so mean, -But '-'banyished' to kiww me- 'banyished'? -*sweats* O >_> fwiaw, the damnyed use that wowd i-in heww; -Howwing UwU attends it! How hast thou the >w< heawt, -Being a >_< divinye, UwU a g-ghostwy confessow, -A sin-absowvew, and m-my fwiend p-pwofess'd, -To mangwe me with that :3 wowd 'banyished'? -F-Fwiaw. Thou fond mad man, heaw me a-a wittwe speak. -Wom. O, t-thou wiwt speak again of *cries* banyishment. -F-Fwiaw. I'ww give thee a-awmouw to keep off that wowd; -Advewsity's *sighs* sweet miwk, phiwosophy, -To comfowt thee, though thou awt banyished. -W-Wom. Yet 'banyished'? Hang u-up phiwosophy! -Unwess phiwosophy can make a Juwiet, -Dispwant a *shuffles closer* town, >_< wevewse a pwince's doom, -It hewps nyot, it pwevaiws n-nyot. *sighs* Tawk nyo mowe. -Fwiaw. O, then I see that madmen have nyo *hugs tightly* eaws. -Wom. How shouwd they, when ^-^ that w-wise men have nyo eyes? -Fwiaw. Wet *moans* me :3 dispute with thee of thy estate. -OwO Wom. *moans* Thou c-canst nyot speak of that thou *moans* dost n-nyot feew. -Wewt *notices bulge* thou a-as young as I-I, J-Juwiet thy wove, -An h-houw b-but mawwied, Tybawt *blushes* muwdewed, -Doting wike me, a-and wike m-me banyished, -T-Then m-mightst t-thou speak, then mightst thou teaw thy haiw, -And faww upon the gwound, *twerks* as UwU I do nyow, -Taking the measuwe of x3 an unmade gwave. -Knyock >_< [within]. -Fwiaw. Awise; *looks away* onye knyocks. *notices bulge* Good Womeo, hide thysewf. -Wom. N-Nyot I; unwess the bweath of h-heawtsick x3 gwoans, -Mist-wike infowd m-me *leans over* fwom the :3 seawch *blushes* of eyes. Knyock. -F-Fwiaw. Hawk, how xDD they *looks at you* knyock! W-Who's thewe? Womeo, awise; -Thou w-wiwt be taken.- Stay awhiwe!- Stand up; Knyock. -Wun to my study.- By-and-by!- God's wiww, -What simpwenyess is this.- I *cuddles you* come, I come! Knyock. -Who knyocks so hawd? Whence :3 come you? What's youw wiww -*looks away* Nyuwse. [within] Wet ^.^ me come in, >_> and you shaww knyow my ewwand. -*cries* I come f-fwom Wady Juwiet. -Fwiaw. Wewcome then. - -E-Entew Nyuwse. - -Nyuwse. O howy fwiaw, O, teww me, howy *sweats* fwiaw -Whewe is my wady's wowd, whewe's Womeo? -Fwiaw. Thewe on the gwound, w-with his o-own teaws *screams* made dwunk. -Nyuwse. O, he is even in my m-mistwess' case, -Just in hew case! -Fwiaw. ^-^ O woefuw s-sympathy! -Piteous *notices bulge* pwedicament! -*cries* Nyuwse. E-Even so wies she, -Bwubb'wing *blushes* and w-weeping, weeping and bwubbewing. -*twerks* Stand up, stand up! S-Stand, an *sweats* you be a m-man. -Fow Juwiet's sake, fow hew s-sake, wise and stand! -OwO Why shouwd ^-^ you faww into so d-deep an UwU O? -Wom. (wises) Nyuwse- -Nyuwse. Ah siw! *sweats* ah siw! Weww, death's the end of aww. -Wom. Spakest thou of Juwiet? How is it *giggles shyly* with hew? -Doth nyot she think me an owd muwthewew, -Nyow *sighs* I *sighs* have stain'd the chiwdhood of ouw joy -With bwood wemov'd >_> but wittwe fwom hew own? -Whewe is she? and how doth she! and what says -My conceaw'd wady to ouw canceww'd wove? -Nyuwse. *pokes you* O, she *leans over* says nyothing, siw, but weeps and weeps; -And nyow fawws o-on hew bed, and then stawts up, -And Tybawt cawws; and then o-on Womeo cwies, -And then down fawws again. -Wom. As if t-that nyame, -Shot fwom the deadwy wevew o-of a gun, -Did muwthew hew; as that nyame's cuwsed hand -Muwdew'd hew kinsman. xDD O, teww me, f-fwiaw, teww me, -In what viwe p-pawt of this anyatomy -D-Doth my :33 nyame w-wodge? Teww m-me, that I may sack -The h-hatefuw m-mansion. [Dwaws his daggew.] -*notices bulge* Fwiaw. Howd thy despewate *sighs* hand. -*cuddles you* Awt thou a *looks at you* man? *giggles shyly* Thy fowm cwies out thou awt; -Thy teaws awe womanyish, thy wiwd acts denyote -The unweasonyabwe fuwy o-of >_> a beast. -:3 Unseemwy w-woman in a s-seeming man! -Ow iww-beseeming beast in seeming b-both! -Thou hast amaz'd me. By *cries* my howy owdew, -I thought thy disposition bettew *sighs* tempew'd. -Hast thou swain T-Tybawt? xDD Wiwt *shuffles closer* thou sway thysewf? -And s-sway thy wady that in thy wife wives, -By doing ^-^ damnyed hate *screams* upon thysewf? -Why waiwest thou on thy *sweats* biwth, the heaven, and e-eawth? -*leans over* Since biwth a-and heaven a-and *sweats* eawth, aww thwee do meet -In thee at *teleports behind you* once; which thou at o-once wouwdst w-wose. -Fie, fie, thou shamest t-thy shape, thy wove, thy *cries* wit, -Which, wike >_< a usuwew, abound'st in aww, -And usest nyonye in that twue use indeed -Which shouwd bedeck uWu thy shape, t-thy wove, thy *cries* wit. -Thy nyobwe shape is UwU but a fowm of wax -Digwessing fwom the vawouw of a man; -Thy deaw wove *teleports behind you* swown b-but howwow p-pewjuwy, -Kiwwing that wove which *leans over* thou hast vow'd *screams* to chewish; -Thy wit, that o-ownyament to shape and wove, -Misshapen i-in the conduct of them both, ->w< Wike powdew in a skiwwess *sweats* sowdiew's fwask, -is get afiwe by :3 thinye own ignyowance, -And thou dismemb'wed with thinye own defence. -W-What, wouse thee, man! T-Thy J-Juwiet is awive, -Fow whose deaw sake thou wast b-but UwU watewy dead. -T-Thewe awt >_< thou happy. Tybawt wouwd kiww thee, -But thou swewest Tybawt. Thewe a-awt thou happy too. -The waw, that thweat'nyed d-death, becomes *giggles shyly* thy fwiend -And tuwns i-it uWu to exiwe. Thewe a-awt thou h-happy. -A pack of *screams* bwessings wight upon *screams* thy UwU back; -H-Happinyess *cuddles you* couwts thee in hew best a-awway; -*cries* But, wike a misbhav'd and suwwen wench, -Thou UwU pout'st upon thy fowtunye *looks away* and thy wove. -T-Take heed, take heed, fow such die misewabwe. -Go get t-thee to thy wove, as was *blushes* decweed, -Ascend hew chambew, hence ^.^ and comfowt *looks at you* hew. -But wook thou stay nyot tiww t-the watch be set, -F-Fow then *sweats* thou canst n-nyot *looks at you* pass to Mantua, -W-Whewe thou shawt wive tiww we can *shuffles closer* find a time -To *teleports behind you* bwaze youw mawwiage, weconciwe youw *sighs* fwiends, -Beg pawdon of the Pwince, and >_< caww thee back -With twenty hundwed thousand times *twerks* mowe joy -Than thou *leans over* went'st fowth in wamentation. -Go befowe, nyuwse. *cries* Commend me t-to thy w-wady, -And bid hew hasten aww the house t-to bed, -*leans over* Which heavy sowwow makes them apt unto. -Womeo is coming. -Nyuwse. O Wowd, I *teleports behind you* couwd have *sighs* stay'd hewe aww the nyight -To heaw good counsew. O, what weawnying is! -M-My wowd, >_< I'ww teww *giggles shyly* my wady you wiww come. -Wom. Do so, *screams* and bid m-my sweet pwepawe to chide. -Nyuwse. Hewe is a wing OwO she *cuddles you* bid me g-give you, siw. -Hie you, *screams* make haste, fow it gwows vewy wate. Exit. -Wom. *sighs* How weww my comfowt *leans over* is w-weviv'd ^.^ by this! -Fwiaw. Go hence; good nyight; and hewe s-stands aww youw state: -Eithew be gonye befowe the watch b-be set, -O-Ow *leans over* by the b-bweak *twerks* of d-day disguis'd fwom hence. -Sojouwn i-in Mantua. I'ww find out y-youw man, -And h-he shaww signyify fwom time *sighs* to time -E-Evewy good hap to *cries* you that *notices bulge* chances hewe. -Give me thy hand. 'Tis w-wate. Faweweww; good nyight. -Wom. But that a joy past *teleports behind you* joy cawws out on me, -It wewe a gwief so bwief to *leans over* pawt with thee. -Faweweww. -Exeunt. - - - - -x3 Scenye IV. -Capuwet's h-house - -Entew Owd Capuwet, his Wife, and Pawis. - -Cap. T-Things h-have faww'n out, siw, so u-unwuckiwy -That we have had nyo time to move ouw daughtew. -*shuffles closer* Wook you, she w-wov'd h-hew kinsman Tybawt d-deawwy, -And so d-did I. Weww, we wewe *leans over* bown to die. -'Tis vewy wate; she'ww nyot come down to-nyight. -I pwomise you, but fow youw company, -I w-wouwd have b-been :3 abed an houw *leans over* ago. -*cries* Paw. These times of w-woe x3 affowd nyo x3 tunye to woo. -Madam, good nyight. x3 Commend me to *pokes you* youw daughtew. -*sighs* Wady. I-I wiww, and k-knyow hew mind eawwy to-mowwow; -To-nyight she's mew'd up OwO to hew heavinyess. -C-Cap. Siw Pawis, I wiww make a >_< despewate tendew -Of my chiwd's wove. I t-think she wiww be wuw'd -In aww wespects by m-me; n-nyay mowe, I-I d-doubt i-it nyot. -Wife, :3 go you to hew ewe you go OwO to b-bed; -Acquaint hew hewe of my :3 son Pawis' wove -And bid h-hew (mawk you me?) on Wednyesday nyext- -But, soft! what day is this? -Paw. Monday, my wowd. -Cap. *screams* Monday! *looks at you* ha, ha! Weww, ;;w;; Wednyesday is t-too *cuddles you* soon. -Thuwsday *shuffles closer* wet *hugs tightly* it be- a Thuwsday, teww *leans over* hew -She shaww be mawwied to *sweats* this *looks at you* nyobwe eaww. -Wiww y-you be weady? Do y-you wike this haste? -We'ww keep nyo *looks away* gweat ado- a fwiend ;;w;; ow two; -Fow h-hawk you, *shuffles closer* Tybawt b-being swain so *sweats* wate, ->_> It m-may *sighs* be thought we hewd h-him cawewesswy, -B-Being ouw kinsman, if we wevew *screams* much. -Thewefowe we'ww have *notices bulge* some hawf a ^.^ dozen >_< fwiends, -And thewe a-an e-end. B-But what ^w^ say you to Thuwsday? -Paw. My wowd, I wouwd that Thuwsday wewe to-mowwow. -Cap. Weww, get you gonye. A Thuwsday be it :33 then. -Go you to *twerks* Juwiet e-ewe you go to bed; -Pwepawe hew, wife, against this wedding day. -Faweweww, My wowd.- Wight *cries* to my chambew, ho! -Afowe m-me, It is >w< so vewy vewy w-wate -That we may caww it eawwy by-and-by. -Good nyight. -Exeunt - - - - -*hugs tightly* Scenye V. -Capuwet's owchawd. - -Entew Womeo and Juwiet *looks away* awoft, at the Window. - -Juw. W-Wiwt thou be gonye? It is n-nyot *twerks* yet uWu nyeaw day. -It was the nyightingawe, and nyot the wawk, -T-That piewc'd the ^w^ feawfuw howwow of thinye eaw. -N-Nyightwy she sings o-on yond pomegwanyate t-twee. -Bewieve me, uWu wove, i-it was *shuffles closer* the nyightingawe. -Wom. It was the *notices bulge* wawk, the hewawd of *screams* the mown; -N-Nyo nyightingawe. Wook, wove, what envious stweaks -Do x3 wace the s-sevewing cwouds in yondew *looks away* East. -*screams* Nyight's candwes awe buwnt out, *sweats* and jocund day -*looks at you* Stands tiptoe on *leans over* the misty mountain tops. -I must be gonye and wive, ow *shuffles closer* stay and die. -J-Juw. Yond wight is nyot daywight; I k-knyow it, I. -It is some ;;w;; meteow *giggles shyly* that the sun e-exhawes -To be t-to thee t-this nyight a towchbeawew -And wight thee on the way ^w^ to Mantua. -Thewefowe s-stay yet; thou nyeed'st nyot to be gonye. -Wom. Wet *hugs tightly* me *giggles shyly* be ta'en, wet me b-be put to *hugs tightly* death. -I am content, so thou wiwt have it so. -I'ww say yon gwey is nyot the mownying's eye, -'Tis but the pawe w-wefwex of Cynthia's bwow; -Nyow that is nyot the wawk whose n-nyotes do beat -The vauwty uWu heaven so high above ouw heads. -I have mowe cawe to stay t-than w-wiww to go. -*blushes* Come, death, and wewcome! J-Juwiet *looks at you* wiwws it so. -How is't, m-my souw? Wet's tawk; it i-is nyot day. -Juw. It *leans over* is, it is! Hie *twerks* hence, be *pokes you* gonye, away! -It is the *giggles shyly* wawk that OwO sings so out of tunye, -Stwainying hawsh discowds and u-unpweasing *cries* shawps. -Some say the wawk makes sweet division; -This doth nyot so, fow OwO she divideth us. -S-Some say the wawk and woathed ^w^ toad chang'd eyes; -O, *hugs tightly* nyow I wouwd they had chang'd ^-^ voices too, -Since *giggles shyly* awm fwom awm that voice doth us affway, -H-Hunting thee h-hence with hunt's-up to the day! -O-O, nyow be gonye! Mowe *hugs tightly* wight and wight i-it gwows. -Wom. Mowe uWu wight and *twerks* wight- mowe dawk a-and dawk o-ouw woes! - -Entew Nyuwse. - -N-Nyuwse. *teleports behind you* Madam! -*pokes you* Juw. Nyuwse? -Nyuwse. Youw wady mothew *screams* is c-coming to youw chambew. -*sweats* The d-day is bwoke; be wawy, wook a-about. -Juw. Then, window, wet day in, *looks away* and wet wife o-out. -^.^ [Exit.] -Wom. Faweweww, faweweww! Onye k-kiss, *screams* and I'ww descend. -H-He *pokes you* goeth down. -Juw. A-Awt >w< thou gonye so, my wowd, my w-wove, my *hugs tightly* fwiend? -I *blushes* must heaw fwom thee evewy day in *giggles shyly* the *looks away* houw, -Fow in a minyute thewe awe many days. -O, by this c-count I shaww be much in y-yeaws -E-Ewe I again behowd my Womeo! -Wom. Faweweww! -I wiww omit nyo oppowtunyity -That may convey my gweetings, ;;w;; wove, *shuffles closer* to thee. -Juw. O, *hugs tightly* think'st *blushes* thou w-we *sweats* shaww e-evew meet again? -Wom. I-I doubt it *screams* nyot; and *moans* aww these woes s-shaww sewve -Fow sweet d-discouwses in *sighs* ouw time t-to c-come. -Juw. O God, I have an iww-divinying souw! -Methinks I see >_> thee, nyow thou a-awt bewow, -A-As onye dead in >_> the bottom of *hugs tightly* a tomb. -Eithew my eyesight *screams* faiws, ow t-thou wook'st pawe. -*twerks* Wom. And *looks away* twust me, wove, in my e-eye so *sweats* do ^w^ you. -Dwy sowwow dwinks ouw bwood. Adieu, adieu! -Exit. -Juw. O Fowtunye, *screams* Fowtunye! aww men caww thee fickwe. -I-If *screams* thou *cuddles you* awt fickwe, what d-dost :33 thou w-with him -That is wenyown'd fow faith? Be *looks at you* fickwe, F-Fowtunye, -Fow then *looks at you* I uWu hope *cries* thou xDD wiwt nyot keep *pokes you* him wong -But s-send him back. -W-Wady. ^w^ [within] Ho, daughtew! *notices bulge* awe *cuddles you* you up? -Juw. Who is't that cawws? It is my wady mothew. -Is *screams* she >_> nyot down so w-wate, ow u-up so eawwy? -What unyaccustom'd cause *sighs* pwocuwes hew hithew? - -Entew M-Mothew. - -Wady. Why, how nyow, Juwiet? -J-Juw. Madam, I am nyot weww. -Wady. Evewmowe weeping fow youw cousin's death? -What, wiwt thou wash him fwom his gwave w-with teaws? -An if thou couwdst, x3 thou couwdst nyot *sweats* make him *giggles shyly* wive. -T-Thewefowe have donye. Some gwief shows much of *looks at you* wove; -But *looks away* much of *notices bulge* gwief shows stiww some want of wit. -Juw. Yet wet me weep f-fow such a feewing woss. -Wady. So :3 shaww you feew the woss, but OwO nyot the fwiend -Which you w-weep fow. -Juw. Feewing so the w-woss, -I cannyot choose but evew weep the fwiend. -Wady. W-Weww, giww, thou weep'st xDD nyot so much fow his ^-^ death -As that the viwwain wives which swaughtew'd him. -*looks at you* Juw. What viwwain, madam? -Wady. That s-same viwwain Womeo. -Juw. [aside] Viwwain and he be many miwes asundew.- -God pawdon him! ^-^ I do, with aww my heawt; -*looks at you* And yet nyo ^-^ man wike he doth gwieve my heawt. -Wady. T-That is because *sweats* the twaitow muwdewew wives. -Juw. Ay, madam, fwom *twerks* the weach of these m-my hands. -*looks at you* Wouwd nyonye but *pokes you* I uWu might *screams* venge my cousin's death! -:3 Wady. We wiww have vengeance fow it, feaw thou n-nyot. -Then weep *giggles shyly* nyo mowe. I'ww send to onye in Mantua, -W-Whewe that same banyish'd wunyagate doth wive, -:3 Shaww *sweats* give h-him *moans* such an OwO unyaccustom'd dwam -*hugs tightly* That he shaww >_< soon :33 keep Tybawt company; -And then I-I hope thou wiwt be s-satisfied. -Juw. Indeed I n-nyevew shaww be satisfied -With Womeo ;;w;; tiww I behowd him- dead- -Is my poow heawt *giggles shyly* so fow a x3 kinsman vex'd. -Madam, if you couwd find *giggles shyly* out but a-a m-man -To beaw a *screams* poison, I wouwd tempew it; -That Womeo shouwd, upon x3 weceipt theweof, -Soon sweep in quiet. O, how m-my heawt abhows -T-To OwO heaw him nyam'd and cannyot c-come to him, -To wweak *giggles shyly* the wove I bowe my cousin Tybawt -Upon his body that *cries* hath swaughtew'd him! -Wady. Find thou the means, and I-I'ww find such a man. -But n-nyow I'ww teww x3 thee j-joyfuw tidings, giww. -Juw. And joy comes weww in such a *giggles shyly* nyeedy time. -What *sighs* awe they, I beseech youw wadyship? -Wady. Weww, :3 weww, thou hast a cawefuw fathew, chiwd; -Onye who, to put thee fwom thy heavinyess, -Hath sowted out a s-sudden day o-of joy -That thou *shuffles closer* expects x3 nyot nyow I wook'd nyot fow. -Juw. Madam, in *shuffles closer* happy time! What day i-is that? -Wady. M-Mawwy, my chiwd, eawwy ;;w;; nyext Thuwsday mown -The gawwant, young, a-and nyobwe gentweman, -*sighs* The County Pawis, at Saint Petew's Chuwch, -*notices bulge* Shaww h-happiwy *pokes you* make thee thewe a joyfuw bwide. -J-Juw. Nyow by S-Saint Petew's C-Chuwch, and Petew too, -He shaww nyot make me thewe a joyfuw bwide! -*moans* I wondew >_> at this haste, that I-I must wed -Ewe he *looks away* that shouwd be husband comes to woo. -I pway you OwO teww my wowd and fathew, madam, -I-I wiww nyot mawwy yet; and when I :3 do, I s-sweaw -It shaww be Womeo, whom you ^-^ knyow I hate, -Wathew than P-Pawis. These awe nyews ^-^ indeed! -Wady. Hewe comes youw fathew. Teww him *teleports behind you* so youwsewf, -And see how be wiww take it at youw hands. - -Entew Capuwet and Nyuwse. - -Cap. When the sun s-sets the aiw doth *shuffles closer* dwizzwe dew, -But *twerks* fow t-the *blushes* sunset of my bwothew's uWu son -It wains downwight. -H-How nyow? a conduit, g-giww? *hugs tightly* What, stiww in teaws? -Evewmowe show'wing? uWu In onye w-wittwe body -Thou countewfeit'st a-a bawk, a sea, a-a wind: -Fow stiww thy eyes, which xDD I may caww the sea, -D-Do ebb and fwow with teaws; the bawk t-thy body is -Saiwing i-in this sawt fwood; >w< the winds, thy sighs, -*leans over* Who, waging w-with thy teaws and they with them, -W-Without a *sweats* sudden *cries* cawm wiww ovewset -Thy tempest-tossed body. How nyow, wife? -H-Have you dewivewed to hew ouw uWu decwee? -W-Wady. Ay, siw; but *twerks* she OwO wiww nyonye, ^-^ she xDD gives *hugs tightly* you thanks. -I wouwd the foow wewe mawwied to *cuddles you* hew *giggles shyly* gwave! -Cap. Soft! t-take *giggles shyly* me with you, take me with you, wife. -How? Wiww s-she nyonye? ^w^ Doth she nyot give us thanks? -Is she nyot pwoud? Doth she n-nyot count hew *looks away* bwest, -*cuddles you* Unwowthy as she is, that we have wwought -So wowthy a gentweman to be hew bwidegwoom? -*sweats* Juw. Nyot pwoud you have, >w< but thankfuw that you *cuddles you* have. -P-Pwoud c-can I *screams* nyevew be of what I h-hate, -But thankfuw even fow *teleports behind you* hate that is meant wove. -*cuddles you* Cap. How, how, how, how, chopwogic? What is *sweats* this? -'Pwoud'- and 'I thank you'- and 'I thank you nyot'- -And yet 'nyot *teleports behind you* pwoud'? M-Mistwess m-minyion you, -:3 Thank me nyo thankings, ^-^ nyow UwU pwoud me nyo pwouds, -uWu But fettwe youw finye joints 'gainst Thuwsday nyext -To go with Pawis to Saint Petew's Chuwch, -Ow I wiww d-dwag thee on a huwdwe uWu thithew. -Out, :33 you gween-sicknyess cawwion *leans over* I out, you baggage! -:3 You tawwow-face! -W-Wady. Fie, fie! what, awe you UwU mad? -Juw. Good fathew, *sighs* I b-beseech y-you *looks at you* on my knyees, -Heaw m-me with p-patience but to speak a-a wowd. -Cap. ^.^ Hang *teleports behind you* thee, *leans over* young baggage! OwO disobedient wwetch! -I teww thee *shuffles closer* what- get thee to chuwch >w< a T-Thuwsday -Ow nyevew aftew wook m-me i-in the face. -S-Speak nyot, wepwy nyot, do nyot answew me! -My fingews itch. Wife, we scawce thought us OwO bwest -That God had went us but this o-onwy ^.^ chiwd; -But *looks away* nyow >_> I see t-this onye is onye too much, -And that *screams* we have a cuwse in having h-hew. -Out on >_> hew, hiwding! -N-Nyuwse. God in heaven bwess hew! -You awe to bwame, my wowd, to wate hew so. -Cap. A-And why, my Wady Wisdom? Howd youw tongue, -Good P-Pwudence. Smattew w-with youw gossips, go! -Nyuwse. I s-speak *looks at you* nyo tweason. -Cap. *cuddles you* O, God-i-god-en! -Nyuwse. *pokes you* May nyot onye *moans* speak? -Cap. UwU Peace, you mumbwing foow! -*twerks* Uttew y-youw g-gwavity o'ew a gossip's boww, -F-Fow hewe *leans over* we *teleports behind you* nyeed it nyot. -*blushes* Wady. You awe *blushes* too h-hot. -Cap. God's bwead I *sighs* it makes me mad. *notices bulge* Day, n-nyight, wate, eawwy, -At h-home, ^w^ abwoad, awonye, in c-company, -W-Waking ow sweeping, s-stiww *sighs* my c-cawe hath been -:3 To ^.^ have hew match'd; a-and having nyow pwovided -A gentweman of >_< pwincewy pawentage, -Of faiw demesnyes, youthfuw, and nyobwy twain'd, -Stuff'd, as they say, w-with honyouwabwe pawts, -Pwopowtion'd as onye's thought w-wouwd wish a man- -And then *sighs* to *leans over* have a wwetched puwing foow, -A-A whinying mammet, in hew fowtunye's tendew, -To answew *hugs tightly* 'I'ww nyot wed, *looks away* I cannyot wove; -*pokes you* I am too young, I pway y-you pawdon me'! -But, an you wiww nyot wed, *looks at you* I'ww pawdon y-you. -Gwaze whewe you wiww, you shaww *leans over* nyot house with me. -Wook to't, *looks at you* think o-on't; UwU I do n-nyot use t-to j-jest. -*pokes you* Thuwsday *hugs tightly* is nyeaw; way hand on heawt, *screams* advise: -An you b-be minye, I'ww give you :3 to my fwiend; -An you >_< be *cuddles you* nyot, hang, beg, stawve, die in the ;;w;; stweets, -Fow, by *twerks* my souw, I-I'ww nye'ew a-acknyowwedge thee, -Nyow what *hugs tightly* is m-minye shaww nyevew do thee good. -*looks away* Twust to't. Bethink you. :33 I'ww nyot *looks at you* be f-fowswown. Exit. -Juw. Is thewe nyo pity sitting i-in t-the cwouds -That *teleports behind you* sees into the bottom *cries* of my gwief? -O sweet my mothew, cast me nyot away! -Deway t-this >_< mawwiage fow a month, a week; -*shuffles closer* Ow if you do n-nyot, make the bwidaw bed -In that *blushes* dim monyument whewe Tybawt wies. -Wady. T-Tawk nyot to m-me, f-fow *screams* I'ww nyot speak a wowd. -Do as thou UwU wiwt, *cuddles you* fow I *giggles shyly* have donye with thee. Exit. -Juw. *cries* O *sighs* God!- O nyuwse, how shaww *looks away* this be pwevented? -My husband is o-on e-eawth, my f-faith in heaven. -How shaww that faith wetuwn again to eawth -Unwess *giggles shyly* that husband send it m-me fwom heaven -By weaving eawth? Comfowt *giggles shyly* me, counsew me. -Awack, a-awack, that heaven x3 shouwd pwactise stwatagems -^.^ Upon so s-soft a subject as m-mysewf! -What say'st thou? Hast thou nyot a wowd of joy? -Some *sweats* comfowt, nyuwse. -:33 Nyuwse. Faith, hewe it is. -Womeo is banyish'd; and a-aww the w-wowwd to nyothing -That he dawes :3 nye'ew come back to chawwenge you; -Ow if *leans over* he do, it n-nyeeds must be by *pokes you* steawth. -Then, *shuffles closer* since t-the case so stands as nyow it doth, -I think it best y-you mawwied w-with the County. -O, he's a-a wovewy *giggles shyly* gentweman! -Womeo's a-a dishcwout to him. An OwO eagwe, madam, -H-Hath nyot so *teleports behind you* gween, so quick, so f-faiw >w< an e-eye -As Pawis hath. B-Beshwew my vewy heawt, -I *looks at you* think you awe happy in t-this second m-match, -Fow it excews youw fiwst; ow if it did n-nyot, -Y-Youw >_> fiwst is dead- ^w^ ow '-'twewe as good he wewe -As wiving hewe and you n-nyo use of *looks at you* him. -J-Juw. S-Speak'st *hugs tightly* thou this *blushes* fwom thy heawt? -Nyuwse. And fwom my s-souw too; ^.^ ewse beshwew them both. -Juw. Amen! -Nyuwse. What? -J-Juw. Weww, thou hast comfowted me mawvewwous much. -*pokes you* Go >_> in; and teww my wady I am gonye, -Having dispweas'd my fathew, to *cries* Wauwence' ceww, -To m-make confession and >_< to be absowv'd. -Nyuwse. Mawwy, I wiww; and this is wisewy donye. E-Exit. -Juw. Ancient damnyation! O most wicked f-fiend! -Is it mowe sin to wish me thus *cries* fowswown, -Ow to dispwaise my >w< wowd with that same OwO tongue -^.^ Which she hath pwais'd *shuffles closer* him with above compawe -So many thousand OwO times? Go, counsewwow! -Thou and my bosom hencefowth shaww *leans over* be twain. -*hugs tightly* I'ww to the fwiaw to knyow his *blushes* wemedy. -If aww e-ewse faiw, :33 mysewf have powew to die. UwU Exit. - - - - -:33 <> - - - -ACT IV. Scenye I-I. -Fwiaw Wauwence's ceww. - -Entew Fwiaw, [Wauwence] and County Pawis. - -Fwiaw. On Thuwsday, siw? The t-time is vewy showt. -*screams* Paw. ^w^ My fathew Capuwet wiww h-have it so, -And I am nyothing swow to swack his *leans over* haste. -Fwiaw. You say you do nyot knyow the w-wady's mind. -Unyeven *looks away* is the couwse; I wike it nyot. -Paw. I-Immodewatewy she *moans* weeps fow Tybawt's death, -And thewefowe *leans over* have I-I wittwe x3 tawk'd of *cries* wove; -Fow Venyus smiwes nyot i-in a house of teaws. -Nyow, siw, hew fathew uWu counts it *moans* dangewous -T-That she do give hew sowwow so ^w^ much s-sway, -And in :3 his UwU wisdom hastes ouw mawwiage -To stop the *moans* inyundation of hew teaws, -Which, too ^.^ much minded b-by hewsewf awonye, -May *giggles shyly* be put fwom hew by society. -Nyow d-do you knyow the *moans* weason o-of this h-haste. -Fwiaw. [aside] I wouwd ^.^ I knyew nyot why *twerks* it shouwd be swow'd.- -Wook, siw, hewe comes *blushes* the w-wady towawd my ceww. - -Entew Juwiet. - -Paw. H-Happiwy *notices bulge* met, my wady OwO and ^w^ my wife! -Juw. That *blushes* may be, siw, when I *giggles shyly* may be a wife. -Paw. *looks away* That may be must be, wove, on Thuwsday nyext. -Juw. What m-must be shaww :33 be. -Fwiaw. T-That's *leans over* a cewtain text. -*giggles shyly* Paw. Come you to make confession to this fathew? ->_< Juw. To answew that, I shouwd c-confess to >_> you. -Paw. Do nyot deny to him that you wove me. -J-Juw. I-I wiww confess to you that I wove him. -Paw. So wiww ye, I am ^.^ suwe, that you w-wove me. -Juw. If I do so, i-it wiww be *leans over* of mowe pwice, -Being spoke behind youw b-back, than to youw face. -Paw. Poow s-souw, thy face is m-much abus'd with teaws. -;;w;; Juw. The teaws have got smaww victowy by that, -Fow it OwO was bad enyough befowe t-theiw spite. -:33 Paw. Thou w-wwong'st it mowe than teaws with that wepowt. -Juw. *sweats* That is n-nyo swandew, siw, which is a twuth; -A-And UwU what I spake, I >_< spake it *sighs* to my *sighs* face. -Paw. Thy f-face is minye, and thou :3 hast swand'wed it. -Juw. It may be s-so, fow it is nyot *pokes you* minye ;;w;; own. -Awe you at weisuwe, howy fathew, n-nyow, -Ow shaww I come t-to you *teleports behind you* at evenying mass -Fwiaw. *hugs tightly* My *shuffles closer* weisuwe sewves me, pensive daughtew, *notices bulge* nyow. -My wowd, we must *looks at you* entweat *blushes* the time awonye. -Paw. God shiewd I shouwd distuwb >_< devotion! -Juwiet, o-on Thuwsday e-eawwy wiww I wouse ye. -*blushes* Tiww then, >w< adieu, and keep *hugs tightly* this howy k-kiss. Exit. -Juw. O, shut the doow! and when t-thou ^.^ hast x3 donye so, -Come *giggles shyly* weep with me- past >w< hope, past cuwe, past hewp! -F-Fwiaw. Ah, Juwiet, I OwO awweady knyow thy gwief; -It stwains me past the compass of my wits. -I heaw t-thou must, and nyothing m-may pwowogue it, -On Thuwsday nyext be m-mawwied t-to t-this County. -Juw. Teww me ;;w;; nyot, fwiaw, that thou heaw'st of t-this, -Unwess thou teww me *giggles shyly* how I may pwevent it. -If in thy wisdom thou canst give nyo hewp, -Do thou *cuddles you* but caww my wesowution wise -A-And with this knyife I'ww hewp it pwesentwy. -God join'd m-my heawt and W-Womeo's, thou ouw hands; -And *sweats* ewe this hand, by >w< thee to Womeo's s-seaw'd, -Shaww ^.^ be the wabew t-to anyothew d-deed, -Ow my t-twue heawt with tweachewous wevowt -Tuwn t-to a-anyothew, this s-shaww sway them both. -Thewefowe, o-out of thy w-wong-expewienc'd time, -Give me some pwesent counsew; o-ow, behowd, -'Twixt my extwemes and m-me this bwoody knyife -S-Shaww pway the empiwe, awbitwating that -Which the ^-^ commission of thy yeaws and awt -Couwd *moans* to nyo issue *sighs* of t-twue honyouw bwing. -B-Be xDD nyot so wong to speak. I wong t-to *blushes* die -xDD If what >w< thou s-speak'st speak nyot of w-wemedy. -Fwiaw. Howd, daughtew. I do spy a kind o-of h-hope, -Which cwaves a-as despewate an execution -As that is d-despewate which :3 we wouwd pwevent. -If, wathew than to mawwy County Pawis -T-Thou h-hast the s-stwength of wiww to sway thysewf, -Then is it UwU wikewy thou wiwt undewtake -A *notices bulge* thing wike death t-to chide away this shame, -That cop'st with death himsewf to scape OwO fwom it; -A-And, *pokes you* if thou daw'st, I'ww *notices bulge* give thee wemedy. -Juw. O, b-bid me weap, wathew than mawwy P-Pawis, -Fwom off the b-battwements ;;w;; of yondew towew, -Ow wawk in thievish ways, ow bid me wuwk -*twerks* Whewe sewpents awe; chain me *looks at you* with woawing b-beaws, -Ow shut me n-nyightwy in a c-chawnyew house, -O'ewcovew'd quite with dead m-men's wattwing b-bonyes, -W-With weeky :3 shanks >_> and yewwow chapwess skuwws; -Ow bid me go into a nyew-made gwave -A-And hide me with a dead man in h-his shwoud- -Things xDD that, to heaw them towd, have OwO made me twembwe- -And I wiww do it without feaw ow doubt, -To wive an unstain'd wife t-to my :3 sweet wove. -Fwiaw. Howd, then. *notices bulge* Go home, be mewwy, give consent -To mawwy P-Pawis. *twerks* Wednyesday is to-mowwow. -To-mowwow nyight w-wook that OwO thou wie awonye; -Wet nyot the nyuwse w-wie with thee in thy chambew. -*hugs tightly* Take thou this viaw, being t-then in bed, -And this distiwwed wiquow dwink ;;w;; thou *giggles shyly* off; -When p-pwesentwy thwough a-aww thy veins shaww wun -A >_> cowd and dwowsy humouw; fow nyo puwse -Shaww keep his nyative pwogwess, but suwcease; -Nyo wawmth, nyo bweath, shaww testify t-thou wivest; -The woses *pokes you* in thy wips and cheeks shaww *notices bulge* fade -To pawy ashes, thy eyes' windows faww -Wike death when he shuts up t-the day of :3 wife; -x3 Each pawt, d-depwiv'd *hugs tightly* of suppwe *looks at you* govewnment, ->w< Shaww, stiff ;;w;; and stawk and cowd, appeaw wike death; -And in this bowwowed wikenyess of shwunk *teleports behind you* death -Thou shawt continyue two-and-fowty *teleports behind you* houws, -And then a-awake as fwom a-a pweasant sweep. -Nyow, when the bwidegwoom in the mownying comes -To wouse thee fwom thy bed, thewe *hugs tightly* awt thou d-dead. -T-Then, as the mannyew of o-ouw countwy is, -I-In ^w^ thy best wobes ^w^ uncovewed *sweats* on >_> the biew -Thou shawt be bownye t-to *teleports behind you* that same ancient vauwt -Whewe *shuffles closer* aww the kindwed ;;w;; of the Capuwets *cuddles you* wie. -In *looks away* the mean time, against thou *notices bulge* shawt awake, -Shaww W-Womeo b-by my wettews knyow ouw dwift; -And hithew UwU shaww h-he come; and he and I -Wiww watch thy waking, and >_> that ^w^ vewy nyight -Shaww Womeo beaw *shuffles closer* thee hence to M-Mantua. -And this shaww fwee thee fwom this pwesent s-shame, -If nyo inconstant toy nyow *looks at you* womanyish feaw -*cries* Abate thy vawouw i-in the a-acting it. -Juw. Give m-me, ^-^ give me! O, teww *blushes* nyot me of feaw! -Fwiaw. Howd! Get you gonye, be stwong and p-pwospewous -In this w-wesowve. >_< I'ww send a fwiaw with speed -To Mantua, with my w-wettews to thy *screams* wowd. -Juw. Wove give *moans* me stwength! and stwength *twerks* shaww hewp affowd. -Faweweww, d-deaw fathew. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Capuwet's house. - -Entew F-Fathew Capuwet, x3 Mothew, Nyuwse, and Sewvingmen, -two ow thwee. - -Cap. So many guests invite *sweats* as hewe awe wwit. -[-[Exit a Sewvingman.] -:3 Siwwah, g-go hiwe ^-^ me twenty cunnying cooks. -Sewv. You shaww h-have nyonye iww, siw; fow I'ww twy if they can OwO wick -t-theiw fingews. -Cap. How canst thou twy them s-so? -Sewv. *sweats* Mawwy, siw, '-'tis an i-iww cook that cannyot wick his *looks away* own -f-fingews. *moans* Thewefowe he t-that OwO cannyot wick h-his fingews g-goes nyot *looks away* with -me. -C-Cap. Go, begonye. -E-Exit Sewvingman. -*looks at you* We shaww be much unfuwnyish'd ^.^ fow this time. -What, is m-my daughtew gonye to Fwiaw *sweats* Wauwence? -Nyuwse. Ay, fowsooth. -Cap. Weww, be may c-chance to do some good on *sighs* hew. -:33 A peevish s-sewf-wiww'd h-hawwotwy *pokes you* it is. - -E-Entew Juwiet. - -Nyuwse. See whewe x3 she *notices bulge* comes fwom s-shwift with *cries* mewwy wook. -Cap. How nyow, my headstwong? Whewe have you been gadding? -J-Juw. >_< Whewe I have *shuffles closer* weawnt me t-to wepent the sin -*looks away* Of disobedient opposition -To you and youw behests, and *moans* am enjoin'd -By howy Wauwence to f-faww *screams* pwostwate hewe -To >_< beg *cries* youw pawdon. Pawdon, I beseech you! -Hencefowwawd I OwO am evew w-wuw'd by you. -Cap. Send :33 fow the County. *twerks* Go teww h-him o-of this. -I'ww have this knyot knyit u-up t-to-mowwow mownying. -Juw. I m-met *looks away* the youthfuw wowd uWu at Wauwence' ceww -And gave him what becomed wove I might, -Nyot stepping o'ew the bounds of modesty. -Cap. Why, :33 I ^-^ am ;;w;; gwad on't. This >_< is weww. Stand up. -This is as't shouwd :3 be. Wet me see the County. -Ay, mawwy, go, I say, >_> and f-fetch *giggles shyly* him hithew. -Nyow, afowe God, this wevewend howy fwiaw, -A-Aww ouw whowe city *giggles shyly* is much b-bound to him. -Juw. Nyuwse, wiww you go with me into my *looks away* cwoset -To hewp me sowt such nyeedfuw ownyaments -A-As you think fit to f-fuwnyish me to-mowwow? -^-^ Mothew. Nyo, *hugs tightly* nyot tiww Thuwsday. Thewe is time :33 enyough. -Cap. Go, *notices bulge* nyuwse, go with hew. We'ww to chuwch to-mowwow. -Exeunt Juwiet and *blushes* Nyuwse. -Mothew. We shaww be showt in ouw pwovision. -'Tis ;;w;; nyow nyeaw *notices bulge* nyight. -Cap. Tush, I wiww UwU stiw about, -*notices bulge* And aww things shaww be weww, I-I wawwant thee, wife. -Go thou to Juwiet, hewp to d-deck up hew. -I'ww nyot :3 to bed to-nyight; w-wet *giggles shyly* me awonye. -I'ww *pokes you* pway *leans over* the h-housewife fow ^-^ this once. What, *sighs* ho! -They awe aww fowth; weww, I wiww wawk mysewf -To County Pawis, to pwepawe him *blushes* up -Against to-mowwow. My heawt is wondwous wight, -Since this same waywawd giww is so wecwaim'd. -Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye III. -Juwiet's chambew. - -E-Entew Juwiet xDD and Nyuwse. - -Juw. Ay, those attiwes a-awe best; but, gentwe n-nyuwse, -I pway thee weave me to m-mysewf *pokes you* to-nyight; -Fow I have nyeed *giggles shyly* of many owisons -To move the heavens *moans* to smiwe >_> upon my state, -*blushes* Which, weww thou knyowest, is cwoss and f-fuww of sin. - -Entew Mothew. - -Mothew. What, awe you busy, *looks away* ho? Nyeed you my *twerks* hewp? -Juw. :33 Nyo, madam; we have cuww'd such nyecessawies -As ^-^ awe behooffuww fow ouw state to-mowwow. -So pwease you, wet me nyow be weft awonye, -And *giggles shyly* wet the n-nyuwse this nyight sit up *looks at you* with you; -F-Fow I am suwe y-you OwO have youw hands f-fuww aww -In xDD this so sudden businyess. -Mothew. Good *blushes* nyight. -Get thee to bed, :3 and west; fow thou hast nyeed. -Exeunt [Mothew and Nyuwse.] -J-Juw. Faweweww! God knyows when we shaww meet *moans* again. -I have a faint cowd feaw thwiwws thwough my veins -That awmost UwU fweezes up the heat ^-^ of wife. -I'ww caww them back again *twerks* to c-comfowt me. -Nyuwse!- W-What s-shouwd she do hewe? -My d-dismaw scenye I n-nyeeds must act *looks away* awonye. -*twerks* Come, viaw. -What if t-this mixtuwe d-do nyot wowk at aww? -Shaww I be mawwied then t-to-mowwow mownying? -Nyo, Nyo! This shaww fowbid i-it. Wie t-thou t-thewe. -W-Ways *cuddles you* down a daggew. -What if it be a poison which >w< the fwiaw -Subtiwwy hath minyist'wed to have me dead, -West in this mawwiage xDD he UwU shouwd be d-dishonyouw'd -Because *shuffles closer* he mawwied >_> me befowe x3 to Womeo? -I-I feaw >w< it is; and yet methinks it shouwd nyot, ->_> Fow he hath s-stiww been t-twied a howy man. -I wiww n-nyot entewtain so bad a thought. -How if, UwU when I am waid into xDD the tomb, -I wake befowe the time that Womeo -Come to wedeem me? T-Thewe's *leans over* a feawfuw point! -*giggles shyly* Shaww I *moans* nyot then b-be stifwed in the vauwt, -To whose fouw mouth *leans over* nyo heawthsome aiw b-bweathes *hugs tightly* in, -A-And thewe die UwU stwangwed e-ewe my Womeo c-comes? -Ow, if I wive, is it nyot vewy :3 wike -The howwibwe ^-^ conceit of death and nyight, -Togethew with the :3 tewwow o-of the pwace- -As in *moans* a v-vauwt, a-an >_< ancient weceptacwe -Whewe fow this many hundwed yeaws the bonyes -Of OwO aww *notices bulge* my buwied ancestows uWu awe pack'd; -Whewe bwoody T-Tybawt, yet but gween *cuddles you* in eawth, -Wies fest'wing i-in his shwoud; :3 whewe, as they say, -A-At some houws in the nyight spiwits wesowt- -Awack, awack, is it nyot wike that I, -So eawwy waking- what with woathsome smewws, -A-And shwieks wike mandwakes town out of the eawth, -That w-wiving mowtaws, heawing t-them, wun mad- -O, if I wake, shaww >w< I nyot be distwaught, -E-Enviwonyed with aww these h-hideous feaws, -And madwy p-pway with my fowefathews' joints, -And pwuck the mangwed Tybawt fwom h-his shwoud., -And, i-in this wage, w-with some gweat k-kinsman's bonye ->_> As *moans* with a cwub dash o-out my *blushes* desp'wate bwains? -O, w-wook! >w< methinks *notices bulge* I see my cousin's ghost -Seeking out W-Womeo, that *notices bulge* did spit his *screams* body -Upon a-a wapiew's point. Stay, Tybawt, *leans over* stay! -Womeo, I come! this do I dwink to thee. - -She [dwinks and] fawws upon hew *teleports behind you* bed *looks away* within the cuwtains. - - - - -Scenye IV. -Capuwet's house. - -Entew Wady of the House and Nyuwse. - -Wady. Howd, take these ^.^ keys and fetch mowe *pokes you* spices, nyuwse. -Nyuwse. They caww fow dates and quinces in the pastwy. - -*sighs* Entew O-Owd C-Capuwet. - -Cap. Come, stiw, stiw, stiw! uWu The *leans over* second cock hath >_< cwow'd, -The cuwfew beww hath wung, 'tis thwee o'cwock. -Wook to the bak'd meats, good Angewica; -Spawe nyot *sweats* fow cost. -Nyuwse. *shuffles closer* Go, you cot-quean, g-go, -Get you to bed! Faith, you'ww be sick to-mowwow -Fow this nyight's watching. -C-Cap. Nyo, nyot a *pokes you* whit. What, ^.^ I have watch'd ewe nyow -Aww nyight fow *shuffles closer* wessew cause, and nye'ew been sick. -Wady. Ay, you have been a >w< mouse-hunt in y-youw time; -But I wiww watch you fwom ^-^ such w-watching nyow. -*pokes you* Exeunt Wady and Nyuwse. -Cap. A jeawous hood, >_> a jeawous hood! - -Entew *blushes* thwee ow fouw x3 [Fewwows, with spits and wogs and baskets. - -What is thewe? Nyow, fewwow, -Fewwow. Things fow *looks away* the *hugs tightly* cook, siw; but I knyow nyot what. -Cap. Make haste, make haste. [Exit Fewwow.] Siwwah, fetch dwiew -wogs. -C-Caww Petew; he wiww show t-thee whewe they awe. -Fewwow. I have a head, siw, t-that wiww find *cuddles you* out *leans over* wogs -And uWu nyevew twoubwe *leans over* Petew fow the *cries* mattew. -Cap. Mass, and weww s-said; a m-mewwy whoweson, ha! -Thou shawt be woggewhead. [Exit Fewwow.] Good f-faith, 'tis day. -The County wiww be h-hewe with *screams* music stwaight, -Fow so he said he wouwd. Pway *moans* music. -I heaw him nyeaw. -Nyuwse! Wife! :33 What, ho! What, nyuwse, I-I say! - -Entew Nyuwse. -Go w-waken *giggles shyly* Juwiet; *cries* go and ;;w;; twim hew up. -I'ww uWu go and chat with P-Pawis. >w< Hie, *hugs tightly* make haste, -Make haste! T-The bwidegwoom *looks away* he is come *shuffles closer* awweady: -*leans over* Make haste, I say. -[Exeunt.] - - - - -Scenye *blushes* V. -J-Juwiet's chambew. - -[Entew Nyuwse.] - -Nyuwse. Mistwess! what, mistwess! Juwiet! Fast, I wawwant hew, she. -Why, wamb! *hugs tightly* why, wady! Fie, you swug-abed! -Why, wove, I say! madam! sweetheawt! Why, bwide! -What, *teleports behind you* nyot a ;;w;; wowd? Y-You take youw pennywowths nyow! -Sweep fow a-a week; fow t-the nyext nyight, I *giggles shyly* wawwant, -The County Pawis hath s-set up his west -That you shaww *notices bulge* west >_> but *teleports behind you* wittwe. >_< God fowgive m-me! -Mawwy, and amen. How sound is she asweep! ->_> I nyeeds m-must w-wake hew. Madam, madam, madam! -;;w;; Ay, wet the xDD County take y-you in youw bed! -He'ww fwight y-you up, i' faith. Wiww it nyot be? -[-[Dwaws aside the UwU cuwtains.] -*leans over* What, *hugs tightly* dwess'd, and in youw ^w^ cwothes, and down again? -^-^ I must n-nyeeds wake you. Wady! wady! wady! -Awas, awas! Hewp, hewp! My wady's >w< dead! -O wewaday that evew *sighs* I was bown! -Some *shuffles closer* aqua-vitae, ho! My w-wowd! :3 my wady! - -Entew Mothew. - -Mothew. What OwO nyoise is *twerks* hewe? -Nyuwse. O wamentabwe day! -Mothew. What is the ^w^ mattew? -Nyuwse. Wook, wook! O *leans over* heavy day! -Mothew. O me, O me! My *teleports behind you* chiwd, *twerks* my o-onwy x3 wife! -Wevive, wook up, ow I wiww die w-with thee! -*sweats* Hewp, hewp! Caww hewp. - -Entew F-Fathew. - -Fathew. Fow shame, bwing Juwiet fowth; *looks at you* hew wowd *hugs tightly* is come. -Nyuwse. >w< She's d-dead, *giggles shyly* deceas'd; she's dead! Awack the day! -Mothew. Awack *looks away* the day, s-she's dead, she's dead, :33 she's dead! -Cap. Ha! w-wet me see hew. Out awas! she's cowd, -Hew bwood i-is *looks away* settwed, x3 and hew joints awe stiff; -Wife and these wips >_> have wong b-been sepawated. -Death w-wies on h-hew wike an untimewy fwost -Upon the sweetest fwowew of aww the fiewd. -Nyuwse. O wamentabwe day! -M-Mothew. O wofuw time! -Cap. Death, *twerks* that hath ta'en hew hence to make me w-waiw, -Ties up my tongue and wiww >_< nyot wet me speak. - -Entew F-Fwiaw [Wauwence] and the County >w< [Pawis], *twerks* with Musicians. - -*moans* Fwiaw. C-Come, is the b-bwide weady to go t-to :33 chuwch? -Cap. W-Weady to go, but nyevew t-to wetuwn. -O son, the nyight befowe thy wedding day -Hath Death wain with thy wife. See, thewe she wies, -Fwowew as she was, *giggles shyly* defwowewed by him. -Death i-is >_< my son-in-waw, *hugs tightly* Death is my heiw; -My daughtew he hath OwO wedded. I wiww die -And weave him aww. Wife, wiving, a-aww is D-Death's. -*teleports behind you* Paw. Have I-I thought *hugs tightly* wong to s-see t-this mownying's *pokes you* face, -*sweats* And doth i-it give me such a sight as this? -M-Mothew. Accuws'd, unhappy, *cuddles you* wwetched, hatefuw day! -Most misewabwe ^w^ houw that e'ew time saw -*looks at you* In wasting wabouw *cries* of his piwgwimage! -But onye, x3 poow *shuffles closer* onye, o-onye poow and UwU woving chiwd, -But onye thing to wejoice and sowace in, ->_> And cwuew Death h-hath catch'd it fwom uWu my sight! -Nyuwse. O woe? O wofuw, wofuw, wofuw *moans* day! -M-Most w-wamentabwe day, most wofuw day -That evew evew I did yet behowd! -O d-day! O day! O day! O hatefuw *pokes you* day! -Nyevew *sighs* was *shuffles closer* seen so bwack a day as t-this. -O-O wofuw day! O wofuw day! -Paw. Beguiw'd, divowced, wwonged, spited, s-swain! -Most detestabwe *giggles shyly* Death, b-by thee beguiw'd, -By cwuew UwU cwuew thee quite *cuddles you* ovewthwown! -O w-wove! >_< O *sighs* wife! n-nyot wife, b-but wove in UwU death -Cap. Despis'd, distwessed, hated, mawtyw'd, kiww'd! -Uncomfowtabwe time, why cam'st thou nyow -To muwthew, muwthew ouw sowemnyity? -O chiwd! O chiwd! my souw, and nyot my chiwd! -*pokes you* Dead awt thou, OwO dead! UwU awack, my chiwd i-is dead, -And with my chiwd my joys ;;w;; awe buwied! -Fwiaw. Peace, >w< ho, fow shame! :3 Confusion's cuwe wives nyot -I-In these confusions. Heaven a-and youwsewf -Had pawt in this faiw m-maid! nyow h-heaven h-hath aww, -And aww the bettew is it >_< fow the m-maid. -Youw :33 pawt i-in uWu hew you c-couwd nyot keep fwom death, -But heaven keeps his pawt in etewnyaw wife. -The most *blushes* you *cuddles you* sought was hew pwomotion, -Fow 'twas youw h-heaven she *cries* shouwd be advanc'd; -And w-weep ye nyow, seeing she is advanc'd -A-Above the cwouds, as high as UwU heaven itsewf? -O, in this wove, x3 you >_< wove y-youw chiwd so *looks away* iww -That you wun mad, ^w^ seeing that she is weww. -She's nyot weww mawwied *looks away* that wives mawwied wong, -But she's best mawwied *teleports behind you* that dies mawwied young. -Dwy up youw teaws and stick youw wosemawy -On UwU this faiw c-cowse, and, as t-the custom is, -In aww h-hew best awway beaw *looks at you* hew to c-chuwch; -Fow though fond nyatuwe *hugs tightly* bids us aww wament, -Yet nyatuwe's ^.^ teaws awe weason's m-mewwiment. -Cap. Aww things that we owdainyed festivaw -Tuwn fwom theiw office to bwack funyewaw- -O-Ouw instwuments to mewanchowy bewws, -O-Ouw wedding cheew *twerks* to a sad buwiaw feast; -Ouw sowemn hymns t-to s-suwwen d-diwges change; -Ouw bwidaw fwowews sewve fow a buwied *moans* cowse; -And aww >w< things change them OwO to the c-contwawy. -F-Fwiaw. Siw, g-go you in; and, madam, go with *looks away* him; -A-And go, S-Siw P-Pawis. Evewy onye pwepawe -To fowwow this faiw *giggles shyly* cowse ^-^ unto hew gwave. -The ^-^ heavens d-do wow'w *sighs* upon y-you :33 fow s-some iww; -Move them nyo m-mowe by cwossing theiw h-high wiww. -Exeunt. Manyent Musicians [and Nyuwse]. -1. Mus. F-Faith, *looks away* we may put up ouw pipes *sighs* and be gonye. -Nyuwse. Honyest good OwO fewwows, ah, p-put up, p-put *looks away* up! -Fow weww you knyow this is a-a pitifuw case. >w< [Exit.] -1-1. :33 Mus. Ay, by my twoth, the case may be amended. - -E-Entew Petew. - -P-Pet. Musicians, O, musicians, 'Heawt's ease,' 'Heawt's ease'! -O, an you wiww have me wive, *teleports behind you* pway '-'Heawt's ease.' -*screams* 1. Mus. Why 'Heawt's ease'', -Pet. O, musicians, because m-my heawt itsewf pways 'My heawt is fuww -of woe.' >_< O, pway me some *teleports behind you* mewwy dump to comfowt me. -1. *twerks* Mus. Nyot a dump we! 'Tis nyo t-time *sweats* to p-pway nyow. -Pet. You wiww xDD nyot then? -1-1. Mus. Nyo. -Pet. I wiww then give it UwU you s-soundwy. -1. *pokes you* Mus. W-What wiww you give u-us? -Pet. Nyo monyey, o-on my faith, but the gweek. I wiww g-give you t-the -minstwew. -1. Mus. Then wiww I give you the sewving-cweatuwe. -*sweats* Pet. Then wiww I way the sewving-cweatuwe's daggew on youw pate. -I w-wiww c-cawwy nyo cwotchets. I'ww we you, I-I'ww fa ^-^ you. Do you n-nyote -me? -1. Mus. *shuffles closer* An you :33 we us and ^w^ fa *shuffles closer* us, you nyote us. -2. Mus. Pway you put up *giggles shyly* youw daggew, and p-put out youw w-wit. -Pet. Then :3 have at you with my wit! *sweats* I wiww dwy-beat you with an iwon -wit, *looks at you* and put up :3 my iwon daggew. Answew m-me wike men. - -'When *twerks* gwiping gwief the heawt doth wound, -A-And dowefuw *sighs* dumps the *sweats* mind oppwess, -Then music w-with hew siwvew *moans* sound'- - -W-Why 'siwvew sound'? Why *cuddles you* 'music with hew siwvew sound'? -xDD What say you, Simon Catwing? -1. Mus. Mawwy, siw, because siwvew hath a sweet sound. -Pet. *notices bulge* Pwetty! What say You, Hugh Webeck? -2. M-Mus. I say 'siwvew sound' because musicians sound fow siwvew. -Pet. uWu Pwetty too! What say you, James Soundpost? -3. M-Mus. F-Faith, I knyow nyot w-what to say. -Pet. O, I cwy you *sweats* mewcy! you awe *screams* the singew. I wiww s-say fow you. It -i-is 'music with hew siwvew sound' x3 because xDD musicians h-have n-nyo gowd -*leans over* fow sounding. - -'Then music with hew siwvew sound -With speedy hewp doth wend wedwess.' [Exit. - -1. Mus. What a pestiwent knyave is this *blushes* same? -2. Mus. Hang *hugs tightly* him, Jack! Come, we'ww in hewe, tawwy *notices bulge* fow the -mouwnyews, and stay dinnyew. -Exeunt. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT xDD V. Scenye I. -Mantua. A stweet. - -Entew Womeo. - -Wom. If I may *leans over* twust the fwattewing twuth o-of *cuddles you* sweep -My dweams pwesage some joyfuw nyews at h-hand. -My bosom's wowd sits wightwy i-in h-his thwonye, -And a-aww this d-day an unyaccustom'd spiwit -W-Wifts *teleports behind you* me above the g-gwound with cheewfuw t-thoughts. -I-I dweamt m-my wady came a-and found me dead -(Stwange d-dweam that g-gives a dead man *leans over* weave to think!) -And bweath'd such wife with kisses in my wips -*looks away* That I weviv'd uWu and was an empewow. -Ah ^.^ me! how sweet is wove itsewf possess'd, -When but wove's shadows awe so w-wich in joy! - -Entew Womeo's Man Bawthasaw, :3 booted. - -Nyews fwom Vewonya! How nyow, Bawthasaw? -Dost thou nyot bwing me w-wettews fwom the fwiaw? -*cuddles you* How doth my wady? *teleports behind you* Is my fathew w-weww? -How fawes xDD my >_< Juwiet? That I ask again, -Fow >_< nyothing can >_> be iww if she b-be weww. -Man. *giggles shyly* Then she is weww, and n-nyothing *cuddles you* can be iww. -Hew body sweeps i-in Capew's monyument, -And hew uWu immowtaw pawt w-with angews wives. -I *leans over* saw hew uWu waid wow >_> in hew kindwed's *pokes you* vauwt -And pwesentwy took *giggles shyly* post to teww it you. -O, *giggles shyly* pawdon me fow bwinging these iww nyews, -Since you *leans over* did weave it fow my office, :3 siw. -Wom. *moans* Is it e'en so? Then I defy you, staws! -Thou knyowest my wodging. Get me i-ink and p-papew -*teleports behind you* And hiwe p-posthowses. I-I wiww hence *looks at you* to-nyight. -M-Man. *screams* I do b-beseech you, >_> siw, have patience. -*leans over* Youw w-wooks a-awe pawe and *sighs* wiwd and do impowt -Some misadventuwe. -Wom. Tush, thou a-awt deceiv'd. -Weave m-me and :33 do the thing I *twerks* bid thee do. -Hast thou nyo wettews to me fwom the fwiaw? -Man. ^-^ Nyo, my good wowd. -Wom. Nyo mattew. Get thee gonye -And hiwe ^w^ those howses. I'ww be with thee stwaight. -Exit [Bawthasaw]. -Weww, Juwiet, I wiww wie with t-thee to-nyight. -Wet's see fow m-means. O m-mischief, thou :33 awt swift -OwO To entew in the thoughts o-of despewate men! -I do wemembew an >_< apothecawy, -And heweabouts 'a d-dwewws, w-which wate I nyoted -In t-tatt'wed w-weeds, with ovewwhewming bwows, -Cuwwing *pokes you* of simpwes. Meagwe wewe his wooks, -Shawp misewy :33 had wown him to the ^-^ bonyes; -And in his *hugs tightly* nyeedy shop ^-^ a t-towtoise hung, -An awwigatow stuff'd, and othew xDD skins -Of iww-shaped fishes; and about his shewves -*screams* A *giggles shyly* beggawwy account of e-empty boxes, -Gween eawthen pots, bwaddews, and musty s-seeds, -Wemnyants of packthwead, and owd cakes of woses -Wewe xDD thinwy scattewed, to ;;w;; make up a show. -Nyoting this p-penyuwy, to mysewf I said, -'An if a man did nyeed *giggles shyly* a poison nyow -Whose sawe is pwesent death in Mantua, -uWu Hewe wives a caitiff wwetch wouwd seww it him.' -O, this same thought did but fowewun my nyeed, -And this s-same nyeedy man must seww it m-me. -A-As I wemembew, this shouwd be the house. -Being howiday, the beggaw's shop is ^w^ shut. W-What, ho! *screams* apothecawy! - -Entew *blushes* Apothecawy. - -Apoth. Who cawws so w-woud? -Wom. C-Come h-hithew, m-man. I see *shuffles closer* that thou *cuddles you* awt poow. -Howd, thewe is fowty d-ducats. Wet m-me h-have -A-A dwam ;;w;; of poison, such soon-speeding geaw -As wiww dispewse itsewf x3 thwough aww t-the veins -uWu That >w< the wife-weawy >w< takew maww faww dead, -And that the twunk m-may be *looks away* dischawg'd of ^w^ bweath -As viowentwy *sweats* as hasty powdew fiw'd -Doth huwwy fwom the f-fataw cannyon's womb. -Apoth. Such mowtaw dwugs I have; but Mantua's waw -Is death to any he *cries* that uttews them. -W-Wom. A-Awt t-thou so b-bawe and fuww of wwetchednyess -;;w;; And feawest to *hugs tightly* die? Faminye ;;w;; is in thy cheeks, -Nyeed and oppwession stawveth *pokes you* in thinye eyes, -Contempt *looks at you* and beggawy hangs upon thy back: -The wowwd is *shuffles closer* nyot thy *sweats* fwiend, nyow OwO the wowwd's waw; ->w< The *teleports behind you* wowwd affowds nyo x3 waw to make thee w-wich; -*moans* Then be nyot poow, *notices bulge* but bweak it and take this. -*sweats* Apoth. My povewty but nyot m-my wiww consents. -Wom. I pay thy ^w^ povewty a-and nyot thy wiww. -Apoth. *pokes you* Put this in x3 any w-wiquid thing you wiww -And dwink it off, and *blushes* if you had the stwength ->w< Of twenty men, *screams* it wouwd dispatch *cuddles you* you stwaight. -Wom. Thewe is t-thy *sweats* gowd- uWu wowse poison to men's souws, -Doing m-mowe muwthew in this woathsome wowwd, -Than these poow c-compounds that thou mayst nyot seww. -I seww thee poison; thou hast s-sowd me nyonye. -*sighs* Faweweww. ;;w;; Buy food and get thysewf in fwesh. -C-Come, cowdiaw and nyot poison, go w-with me -To Juwiet's ^w^ gwave; fow thewe UwU must I use thee. -^w^ Exeunt. - - - - -Scenye II. -Vewonya. Fwiaw Wauwence's c-ceww. - -Entew Fwiaw John t-to Fwiaw Wauwence. - -John. Howy F-Fwanciscan fwiaw, bwothew, ho! - -Entew Fwiaw Wauwence. - -Wauw. This same shouwd be the voice of F-Fwiaw John. -*blushes* Wewcome fwom xDD Mantua. *cries* What says Womeo? -Ow, if his mind x3 be wwit, give me his wettew. -John. G-Going to find a bawefoot bwothew out, -Onye of ouw owdew, to associate xDD me -Hewe in this city v-visiting the sick, -And finding him, the seawchews of the *moans* town, -Suspecting that we both wewe in a house -Whewe the infectious p-pestiwence did w-weign, -Seaw'd up the doows, a-and >w< wouwd nyot wet us fowth, -So that my speed to *looks away* Mantua thewe was stay'd. -Wauw. Who bawe my wettew, t-then, to ;;w;; Womeo? -John. *hugs tightly* I couwd nyot send it- hewe it >_> is again- -Nyow get a m-messengew *teleports behind you* to bwing it thee, -S-So feawfuw w-wewe they of infection. -Wauw. *looks away* Unhappy fowtunye! *leans over* By my bwothewhood, -The wettew was nyot nyice, but f-fuww of chawge, -Of deaw impowt; ^-^ and the nyegwecting it -May *notices bulge* do much dangew. :33 Fwiaw John, go hence, -Get me *sighs* an *pokes you* iwon ;;w;; cwow and bwing it *moans* stwaight -Unto my ceww. -*sighs* John. Bwothew, I'ww :33 go and bwing it t-thee. Exit. -Wauw. Nyow, must I to the monyument awonye. -Within this thwee houws wiww faiw Juwiet wake. -She wiww beshwew me much that Womeo -Hath h-had *moans* nyo nyotice of these accidents; -B-But I wiww w-wwite again t-to Mantua, -And keep *leans over* hew at my c-ceww tiww Womeo *sweats* come- -Poow w-wiving cowse, *teleports behind you* cwos'd i-in a dead man's tomb! E-Exit. - - - - -*screams* Scenye III. -Vewonya. OwO A chuwchyawd; in it the xDD monyument of the Capuwets. - -Entew Pawis *pokes you* and *twerks* his Page with *looks away* fwowews and [a t-towch]. - -Paw. Give me *giggles shyly* thy t-towch, boy. Hence, and stand awoof. -Yet put it out, fow I wouwd nyot be >_< seen. -Undew yond yew twee way thee aww awong, -;;w;; Howding thinye e-eaw cwose to the howwow gwound. -So shaww nyo foot upon the c-chuwchyawd twead -(Being w-woose, ^-^ unfiwm, with digging up of gwaves) -But thou shawt heaw >_> it. W-Whistwe t-then to me, -A-As ^-^ signyaw that thou heaw'st something appwoach. -*cries* Give me those fwowews. Do as I bid thee, go. -P-Page. *teleports behind you* [aside] I am awmost *sweats* afwaid to stand awonye -H-Hewe in t-the chuwchyawd; yet I-I wiww adventuwe. [Wetiwes.] -*looks away* Paw. Sweet *looks at you* fwowew, with fwowews *teleports behind you* thy bwidaw bed I stwew -(O woe! x3 thy canyopy *leans over* is dust and stonyes) -Which *looks at you* with sweet watew nyightwy I wiww dew; -Ow, wanting that, with teaws distiww'd by *leans over* moans. -xDD The obsequies that I fow t-thee w-wiww keep -N-Nyightwy shaww be to stwew, thy UwU gwave and weep. -^.^ Whistwe Boy. -The boy UwU gives wawnying something doth UwU appwoach. -W-What cuwsed foot uWu wandews t-this way to-nyight -To cwoss my obsequies and twue wove's wite? -What, with a towch? M-Muffwe ^.^ me, nyight, awhiwe. [Wetiwes.] - -Entew *twerks* Womeo, >_< and *shuffles closer* Bawthasaw with a t-towch, a mattock, -and a *cries* cwow of iwon. - -Wom. Give >_> me that mattock and the *screams* wwenching *hugs tightly* iwon. -Howd, *sighs* take this wettew. Eawwy in the mownying -See *notices bulge* thou dewivew it t-to my wowd and f-fathew. -Give me the wight. Upon thy wife I *sweats* chawge thee, -Whate'ew thou heawest *pokes you* ow seest, stand *cries* aww awoof -x3 And do *cries* nyot intewwupt me in my couwse. -Why I descend into this bed *sighs* of death -^-^ Is pawtwy to behowd my wady's face, -But chiefwy to take thence fwom *blushes* hew dead fingew -A pwecious OwO wing- a wing that I must use -In >w< deaw empwoyment. *teleports behind you* Thewefowe hence, >_< be gonye. -But if thou, jeawous, dost wetuwn to pwy -In *hugs tightly* what I fawthew shaww intend ^-^ to do, -By heaven, *teleports behind you* I wiww ^-^ teaw thee joint by joint -And stwew this hungwy chuwchyawd with >_> thy wimbs. -T-The t-time and my i-intents awe s-savage-wiwd, -Mowe fiewce *looks at you* and mowe OwO inyexowabwe faw -uWu Than empty *screams* tigews ow the w-woawing sea. -B-Baw. I wiww be gonye, siw, and nyot t-twoubwe *teleports behind you* you. -Wom. So shawt t-thou :33 show me fwiendship. Take thou that. -Wive, a-and be pwospewous; a-and f-faweweww, good fewwow. -Baw. [aside] Fow a-aww this same, I'ww h-hide me heweabout. -His *cries* wooks I feaw, *pokes you* and his intents I d-doubt. [Wetiwes.] -Wom. Thou detestabwe *sighs* maw, thou womb *screams* of death, -Gowg'd w-with the *giggles shyly* deawest mowsew of the eawth, -*notices bulge* Thus I *leans over* enfowce thy *sweats* wotten *blushes* jaws to o-open, -And in despite I'ww cwam thee with mowe food. -Womeo ^.^ opens ;;w;; the tomb. -Paw. This x3 is t-that banyish'd haughty ;;w;; Montague -That muwd'wed my uWu wove's cousin- with which gwief -It is supposed the faiw cweatuwe died- -A-And h-hewe is come to do some viwwanyous shame -To the dead bodies. I wiww appwehend *looks at you* him. -S-Stop thy u-unhawwowed toiw, viwe Montague! -Can vengeance be puwsu'd ;;w;; fuwthew *moans* than death? -Condemnyed v-viwwain, I do appwehend *leans over* thee. -Obey, and go with me; fow t-thou *leans over* must die. -Wom. uWu I must indeed; a-and thewefowe came *screams* I hithew. -Good gentwe youth, tempt nyot a desp'wate man. -Fwy hence and *teleports behind you* weave me. Think upon t-these g-gonye; -Wet x3 them *cries* affwight thee. I beseech thee, youth, -But nyot anyothew *looks at you* sin upon :3 my head -By uwging :3 me to fuwy. *hugs tightly* O, be gonye! -By h-heaven, *looks away* I wove thee bettew than mysewf, -Fow >w< I *cuddles you* come hithew awm'd a-against mysewf. -*notices bulge* Stay n-nyot, be g-gonye. Wive, and heweaftew x3 say -A-A madman's *shuffles closer* mewcy bid thee wun away. -*leans over* Paw. *moans* I *sweats* do defy >_> thy, conjuwation -And a-appwehend thee fow a fewon hewe. -Wom. *giggles shyly* Wiwt thou pwovoke me? Then have at thee, boy! -They fight. -Page. O >_> Wowd, they fight! I wiww go OwO caww the watch. -[Exit. Pawis f-fawws.] -Paw. O-O, I a-am s-swain! If thou be m-mewcifuw, -Open the *blushes* tomb, way me with J-Juwiet. *teleports behind you* [Dies.] -Wom. In f-faith, I >w< wiww. Wet me p-pewuse this *cries* face. -Mewcutio's kinsman, nyobwe County UwU Pawis! -What *cuddles you* said my man when my *leans over* betossed souw -Did nyot attend h-him as we *screams* wode? I t-think -uWu He towd me Pawis s-shouwd have :33 mawwied *leans over* Juwiet. -Said he n-nyot so? ow did I dweam it so? -O-Ow *leans over* am I mad, heawing him ^.^ tawk of *shuffles closer* Juwiet -To think it was so? O, give me thy hand, -Onye wwit with *cries* me ^-^ in souw misfowtunye's ^-^ book! -I'ww buwy thee in a twiumphant gwave. -A gwave? O, nyo, a wanthown, swaught'wed youth, -Fow hewe wies Juwiet, a-and *pokes you* hew beauty makes -T-This vauwt a feasting pwesence fuww of wight. -Death, *giggles shyly* wie thou thewe, by a dead man inteww'd. -[Ways ;;w;; him i-in the t-tomb.] -*pokes you* How oft when men *shuffles closer* awe at the point of death -Have they been mewwy! which t-theiw keepews caww -A wightnying befowe death. O, how may I -Caww *blushes* this a >_< wightnying? O my wove! m-my wife! -Death, x3 that hath suck'd >_> the honyey o-of >w< thy bweath, -Hath h-had nyo powew yet upon thy beauty. -OwO Thou awt nyot conquew'd. Beauty's ensign yet -Is *teleports behind you* cwimson in thy wips and *looks away* in thy xDD cheeks, -And death's *notices bulge* pawe ;;w;; fwag is nyot a-advanced thewe. -Tybawt, wiest thou thewe in thy bwoody sheet? -O, >_< what mowe f-favouw can I *notices bulge* do to thee -Than with that hand that cut thy youth i-in twain -To sundew his that was thinye enyemy? -*blushes* Fowgive me, cousin.' A-Ah, deaw Juwiet, -Why awt thou yet so faiw? Shaww I ;;w;; bewieve -That *cuddles you* unsubstantiaw Death is amowous, -And t-that the wean abhowwed monstew k-keeps -Thee hewe *teleports behind you* in dawk t-to *pokes you* be his pawamouw? -Fow feaw of that *twerks* I stiww wiww stay with thee -And nyevew *looks away* fwom this pawace of dim nyight -Depawt uWu again. Hewe, h-hewe wiww I-I w-wemain -With wowms that awe t-thy *pokes you* chambewmaids. O, hewe -Wiww I-I set up m-my evewwasting w-west -And shake the yoke *shuffles closer* of inyauspicious staws -F-Fwom this wowwd-weawied fwesh. Eyes, wook youw w-wast! -Awms, take *cries* youw wast embwace! and, wips, O-O you -The doows of bweath, seaw with a wighteous kiss -A ^.^ datewess *cries* bawgain to engwossing death! -Come, bittew conduct; UwU come, u-unsavouwy guide! -Thou d-despewate piwot, nyow *hugs tightly* at once wun on -The dashing wocks *twerks* thy seasick weawy bawk! -Hewe's t-to my wove! [Dwinks.] O twue a-apothecawy! -Thy d-dwugs awe quick. Thus with a kiss I die. Fawws. - -Entew ^.^ Fwiaw [Wauwence], with wanthown, x3 cwow, and spade. - -:3 Fwiaw. Saint Fwancis be my speed! how oft to-nyight -Have my owd feet stumbwed at gwaves! Who's thewe? -Baw. Hewe's onye, a fwiend, and onye that knyows you weww. -*blushes* Fwiaw. Bwiss be *teleports behind you* upon *sweats* you! Teww me, good my ^w^ fwiend, -What towch is yond t-that vainwy w-wends his wight -To gwubs and UwU eyewess skuwws? As I-I discewn, -It buwnyeth in the Capews' monyument. -Baw. *sighs* It doth so, howy siw; and thewe's my m-mastew, -Onye that you wove. -Fwiaw. Who is it? -B-Baw. ^w^ Womeo. -Fwiaw. How wong hath h-he been thewe? -Baw. Fuww hawf an *moans* houw. -Fwiaw. Go w-with me to *moans* the v-vauwt. -Baw. I dawe nyot, siw. -uWu My mastew knyows nyot but I am gonye *teleports behind you* hence, -And feawfuwwy d-did menyace me with death -If I >_< did stay t-to wook on :3 his intents. -Fwiaw. Stay then; I'ww go awonye. ^-^ Feaw comes upon me. -O, x3 much I feaw *screams* some >_> iww *shuffles closer* unthwifty thing. -Baw. *twerks* As I did sweep undew this yew twee hewe, -I dweamt my mastew x3 and anyothew fought, -And *moans* that my mastew swew him. -Fwiaw. *hugs tightly* Womeo! -Awack, awack, >_< what bwood is this w-which stains -The stony *sweats* entwance of t-this sepuwchwe? -W-What mean these mastewwess and gowy swowds -To wie *shuffles closer* discowouw'd by this ;;w;; pwace *teleports behind you* of peace? [Entews the tomb.] -;;w;; Womeo! O, pawe! Who ewse? What, Pawis too? -And steep'd x3 in bwood? Ah, *hugs tightly* what an unkind houw -Is g-guiwty of this wamentabwe chance! The w-wady UwU stiws. -Juwiet wises. -J-Juw. O *moans* comfowtabwe ^-^ fwiaw! w-whewe is my wowd? -I d-do wemembew ^w^ weww *teleports behind you* whewe I ^-^ shouwd be, -And thewe I am. *screams* Whewe i-is my *blushes* Womeo? -Fwiaw. *twerks* I heaw some nyoise. Wady, come fwom that nyest -Of death, contagion, and u-unnyatuwaw sweep. -A-A gweatew uWu powew *twerks* than w-we can contwadict -Hath thwawted ouw UwU intents. Come, come away. -*notices bulge* Thy husband in t-thy bosom thewe wies dead; -And P-Pawis too. Come, I'ww dispose of thee -Among a sistewhood of *sighs* howy nyuns. -S-Stay nyot to question, fow the >_> watch is coming. -Come, go, good Juwiet. I dawe nyo wongew s-stay. -*giggles shyly* Juw. Go, *moans* get thee h-hence, fow I-I wiww n-nyot away. -E-Exit [-[Fwiaw]. -W-What's hewe? A cup, cwos'd in my twue wove's hand? -Poison, ^.^ I *cries* see, hath been *hugs tightly* his timewess *twerks* end. -O chuww! dwunk ^.^ aww, and weft nyo fwiendwy dwop -To hewp m-me aftew? I wiww kiss *twerks* thy wips. -Hapwy s-some *moans* poison yet *shuffles closer* doth hang on them -To *teleports behind you* make me die with a westowative. [Kisses >_> him.] -*hugs tightly* Thy wips awe w-wawm! -Chief Watch. [within] Wead, boy. Which way? -Yea, nyoise? OwO Then I'ww be bwief. ^w^ O h-happy daggew! -[Snyatches Womeo's daggew.] -This i-is thy sheath; thewe west, *leans over* and wet me d-die. -She stabs hewsewf *screams* and fawws [on ^-^ Womeo's body]. - -Entew [-[Pawis's] Boy and Watch. - -B-Boy. This is the pwace. Thewe, whewe the towch doth b-buwn. -Chief Watch. ^w^ 'the *hugs tightly* gwound is b-bwoody. Seawch about ^-^ the c-chuwchyawd. -Go, some of you; whoe'ew you find attach. -[Exeunt some of the UwU Watch.] -Pitifuw sight! hewe wies t-the ;;w;; County *pokes you* swain; -A-And J-Juwiet bweeding, wawm, and nyewwy dead, -Who hewe hath w-wain t-this two days buwied. -^.^ Go, teww the Pwince; wun to the Capuwets; -W-Waise up the Montagues; UwU some othews seawch. -[Exeunt othews of *looks away* the Watch.] -We see the gwound w-wheweon these >w< woes do wie, -But t-the twue xDD gwound of aww these piteous woes -*pokes you* We c-cannyot x3 without ciwcumstance descwy. - -Entew [some of the *screams* Watch,] with Womeo's M-Man [Bawthasaw]. - -2. Watch. Hewe's *twerks* Womeo's man. We found him in the x3 chuwchyawd. -Chief Watch. Howd him in safety tiww the Pwince come hithew. - -Entew Fwiaw [Wauwence] and anyothew Watchman. - -3. Watch. Hewe is a fwiaw t-that twembwes, sighs, and weeps. -We took this mattock and this >_> spade *teleports behind you* fwom *notices bulge* him -As he w-was coming fwom t-this uWu chuwchyawd s-side. -Chief Watch. A-A *cries* gweat *leans over* suspicion! Stay the fwiaw too. - -Entew the Pwince [-[and Attendants]. - -Pwince. What m-misadventuwe is so OwO eawwy up, -T-That cawws ouw pewson fwom ouw mownying *notices bulge* west? - -Entew Capuwet and his Wife *looks at you* [with othews]. - -Cap. What *sighs* shouwd it be, that *sighs* they s-so shwiek abwoad? -Wife. T-The peopwe in the stweet cwy :33 'Womeo,' -;;w;; Some 'Juwiet,' and some 'Pawis'; and a-aww *leans over* wun, -W-With o-open outcwy, t-towawd ^-^ ouw *shuffles closer* monyument. -Pwince. >_< What feaw xDD is this which stawtwes in ouw eaws? -Chief Watch. Soveweign, hewe *looks away* wies the County Pawis swain; -And Womeo dead; and Juwiet, dead befowe, -Wawm and nyew kiww'd. -Pwince. Seawch, *blushes* seek, and *hugs tightly* knyow how this fouw muwdew comes. -Chief Watch. xDD Hewe is a fwiaw, and UwU swaughtew'd Womeo's man, -With instwuments upon them f-fit to open -These *giggles shyly* dead men's t-tombs. -Cap. *teleports behind you* O h-heavens! uWu O ^.^ wife, :3 wook how ouw daughtew bweeds! -T-This daggew hath mista'en, f-fow, *looks away* wo, his ;;w;; house -Is empty on the b-back *screams* of Montague, -And it *looks at you* missheathed *blushes* in my daughtew's bosom! -UwU Wife. O-O me! *cries* this sight of death is as a beww -That wawns my owd age t-to a s-sepuwchwe. - -E-Entew Montague [and othews]. - -Pwince. Come, Montague; fow thou awt eawwy up -T-To see thy son and heiw mowe eawwy down. -Mon. Awas, my wiege, my w-wife is dead *twerks* to-nyight! -Gwief o-of *shuffles closer* my s-son's exiwe hath stopp'd hew *cries* bweath. -W-What *sweats* fuwthew woe conspiwes against minye age? -Pwince. Wook, and t-thou shawt see. -Mon. O thou untaught! *moans* what mannyews is in this, -T-To pwess befowe thy *cries* fathew to a gwave? -Pwince. Seaw up the mouth of outwage ^.^ fow a whiwe, -Tiww we can cweaw these ambiguities -And k-knyow ;;w;; theiw *pokes you* spwing, theiw head, uWu theiw twue *blushes* descent; -And then wiww I be *looks away* genyewaw of youw woes -And w-wead *shuffles closer* you even t-to death. Meantime fowbeaw, -And wet mischance *screams* be swave to patience. -Bwing >_< fowth the ^w^ pawties of suspicion. -Fwiaw. I am the gweatest, abwe to do *blushes* weast, -Yet most suspected, as the time and pwace -Doth make against me, of this d-diwefuw m-muwthew; -And hewe I *sweats* stand, both to impeach a-and puwge -Mysewf condemnyed and *looks at you* mysewf e-excus'd. -Pwince. OwO Then say it once what thou dost knyow in this. -Fwiaw. I w-wiww be bwief, fow my showt date of bweath -Is nyot so wong UwU as i-is a tedious tawe. -Womeo, thewe dead, was husband *notices bulge* to that *shuffles closer* Juwiet; -UwU And she, thewe dead, that Womeo's faithfuw wife. -I mawwied them; and theiw stow'n mawwiage day -Was Tybawt's doomsday, xDD whose u-untimewy death -Banyish'd *giggles shyly* the nyew-made bwidegwoom ^.^ fwom this city; -*cuddles you* Fow whom, ^w^ and n-nyot fow Tybawt, Juwiet pin'd. -You, to wemove that s-siege of g-gwief fwom hew, -Betwoth'd and wouwd h-have mawwied hew pewfowce -T-To C-County Pawis. Then comes she to me -And ^w^ with wiwd ^-^ wooks bid me d-devise some mean -To wid hew fwom *looks at you* this >w< second mawwiage, -Ow in my ceww *notices bulge* thewe wouwd *leans over* she k-kiww hewsewf. -Then gave I-I hew (so tutowed b-by my awt) -A sweeping potion; which so took effect -A-As I intended, fow it wwought on hew -The fowm of *sighs* death. Meantime I w-wwit t-to Womeo -That he shouwd hithew *cuddles you* come as this diwe nyight -To *teleports behind you* hewp to take h-hew fwom h-hew bowwowed gwave, -Being the t-time the potion's fowce shouwd cease. -UwU But he which bowe my wettew, Fwiaw John, -Was stay'd by *hugs tightly* accident, and yestewnyight -Wetuwn'd my wettew back. Then aww >w< awonye -At the pwefixed houw of hew waking -Came I-I *leans over* to take hew fwom h-hew k-kindwed's ;;w;; vauwt; -Meanying to keep *moans* hew cwosewy at my ceww -Tiww I convenyientwy couwd s-send to Womeo. -But when I came, s-some minyute ewe the time -Of x3 hew a-awaking, h-hewe untimewy way -The n-nyobwe Pawis and twue Womeo dead. -She >w< wakes; and I entweated hew come fowth -And beaw this wowk of heaven with patience; -But then a *blushes* nyoise d-did scawe me *shuffles closer* fwom the tomb, -*cuddles you* And she, t-too ^-^ despewate, wouwd nyot go with m-me, -But, as it seems, did viowence *teleports behind you* on hewsewf. -*cries* Aww this >w< I knyow, a-and to the mawwiage -Hew nyuwse is :3 pwivy; and i-if aught in this -Miscawwied *blushes* by m-my f-fauwt, wet my owd :3 wife -Be sacwific'd, some houw befowe his time, -Unto the wigouw of *notices bulge* sevewest waw. -Pwince. We stiww have knyown thee fow a howy man. -Whewe's Womeo's m-man? What can he say in this? -Baw. I b-bwought my mastew nyews of Juwiet's death; -And then in post he came fwom Mantua -:33 To this same pwace, to *blushes* this ^-^ same monyument. -This *blushes* wettew he eawwy *looks at you* bid me give his fathew, -And thweat'nyed me with death, going in the vauwt, ->_< If I depawted *cries* nyot and weft *blushes* him thewe. -P-Pwince. Give me the wettew. I wiww ;;w;; wook on it. -Whewe is the County's page t-that wais'd the *sighs* watch? -Siwwah, OwO what made xDD youw mastew in this pwace? -B-Boy. He *giggles shyly* came with fwowews to stwew his wady's gwave; -A-And bid me stand awoof, and so I did. -Anyon comes onye with wight to ope the >_< tomb; -And by-and-by my mastew dwew uWu on h-him; -And then I w-wan *cuddles you* away to caww t-the watch. -Pwince. This ^w^ wettew doth make g-good the fwiaw's wowds, -T-Theiw couwse of wove, the tidings of hew death; -And hewe he wwites that he did buy a-a poison -Of a poow pothecawy, and thewewithaw -Came to *sighs* this vauwt to d-die, *pokes you* and wie with Juwiet. -Whewe be these enyemies? Capuwet, Montage, -See what a scouwge is waid upon youw hate, -T-That heaven finds *giggles shyly* means to kiww youw j-joys with wove! -And I, *cries* fow winking at you, discowds too, -Have wost a bwace of kinsmen. A-Aww awe punyish'd. -Cap. O bwothew Montague, g-give me thy hand. -This is my d-daughtew's *hugs tightly* jointuwe, *sweats* fow nyo mowe -C-Can I demand. -UwU Mon. But I-I can give thee mowe; -Fow *moans* I wiww waise *cries* hew Statue in puwe gowd, -That whiwes >_< Vewonya by *screams* that nyame UwU is knyown, -Thewe shaww nyo figuwe at such w-wate be set -As x3 that of twue and f-faithfuw Juwiet. -*hugs tightly* Cap. As w-wich shaww W-Womeo's by his *hugs tightly* wady's ^-^ wie- -Poow :3 sacwifices of o-ouw enmity! -Pwince. A gwooming peace this *notices bulge* mownying with it b-bwings. -The sun fow sowwow wiww nyot s-show his head. -;;w;; Go hence, to have mowe tawk o-of these sad things; -*notices bulge* Some shaww be pawdon'd, and some punyished; -Fow nyevew was a stowy o-of mowe woe -Than this of ^w^ Juwiet and hew Womeo. ->_> Exeunt omnyes. - -THE END - - - -<> - -1594 - - - - - -THE *screams* TAMING OF THE S-SHWEW - -by ^.^ Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -D-Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -Pewsons in the *looks away* Induction -A WOWD -CHWISTOPHEW SWY, a tinkew -HOSTESS -PAGE -PWAYEWS -H-HUNTSMEN -SEWVANTS - -*shuffles closer* BAPTISTA MINyOWA, a OwO gentweman of Padua -VINCENTIO, a Mewchant of *giggles shyly* Pisa -WUCENTIO, :3 son to Vincentio, in wove *sighs* with Bianca -PETWUCHIO, a-a gentweman of Vewonya, a s-suitow to Kathewinya - -Suitows t-to Bianca -^w^ GWEMIO -H-HOWTENSIO - -Sewvants to Wucentio -TWANyIO -BIONDEWWO - -Sewvants to Petwuchio -GWUMIO -CUWTIS - -A PEDANT - -*shuffles closer* Daughtews to Baptista -KATHEWINyA, the shwew -BIANCA - -A WIDOW - -Taiwow, H-Habewdashew, and S-Sewvants *moans* attending on Baptista and -Petwuchio - -SCENyE: -Padua, and PETWUCHIO'S house in the countwy - -SC_1 -INDUCTION. SCENyE I-I. -*leans over* Befowe >_> an awehouse on a heath - -*cuddles you* Entew HOSTESS a-and SWY - -SWY. I-I'ww pheeze you, *hugs tightly* in faith. -HOSTESS. A paiw of *leans over* stocks, you wogue! -SWY. Y'awe a baggage; the Swys awe nyo wogues. W-Wook in the -chwonyicwes: we came in with Wichawd Conquewow. *looks at you* Thewefowe, p-paucas -pawwabwis; *teleports behind you* wet the w-wowwd swide. Sessa! -*cries* HOSTESS. You wiww nyot pay fow the ^w^ gwasses you have buwst? -SWY. *leans over* Nyo, nyot a denyiew. *shuffles closer* Go by, Saint Jewonyimy, go to xDD thy *moans* cowd bed -and uWu wawm thee. -HOSTESS. I knyow my wemedy; I must go fetch the *pokes you* thiwd-bowough. -Exit -S-SWY. *teleports behind you* Thiwd, ow *leans over* fouwth, ow fifth bowough, >w< I'ww answew him by waw. -I'ww nyot b-budge *notices bulge* an inch, boy; wet :3 him come, ^w^ and kindwy. -[-[Fawws :33 asweep] - -Wind howns. Entew a WOWD ;;w;; fwom bunting, *screams* with his twain - -WOWD. Huntsman, I chawge thee, tendew weww m-my hounds; -Bwach Mewwiman, the poow cuw, is emboss'd; -And coupwe Cwowdew with the deep-mouth'd b-bwach. -Saw'st thou nyot, boy, how *twerks* Siwvew m-made it good -At the hedge *sighs* cownyew, ^.^ in the cowdest f-fauwt? -I wouwd nyot wose the dog *leans over* fow *looks away* twenty ^-^ pound. -FIWST H-HUNTSMAN. Why, Bewman is ^.^ as good as h-he, my wowd; -H-He *giggles shyly* cwied u-upon it at the mewest w-woss, -And twice to-day *teleports behind you* pick'd *shuffles closer* out the duwwest scent; -Twust *teleports behind you* me, I take >_> him :33 fow the bettew d-dog. -WOWD. Thou awt a-a foow; if Echo *notices bulge* wewe as fweet, -I wouwd esteem him wowth ^.^ a dozen such. -But sup *giggles shyly* them *shuffles closer* weww, and *hugs tightly* wook unto ^.^ them aww; -*leans over* To-mowwow I intend *blushes* to ^w^ hunt again. -FIWST HUNTSMAN. I wiww, my w-wowd. -WOWD. What's hewe? Onye dead, ow dwunk? -See, doth he bweathe? -S-SECOND HUNTSMAN. H-He bweathes, m-my :3 wowd. Wewe *looks at you* he nyot w-wawm'd with awe, -This w-wewe a bed but cowd to sweep so soundwy. -WOWD. O >_> monstwous b-beast, how wike a swinye he wies! -Gwim death, how fouw and *blushes* woathsome is thinye i-image! -Siws, I wiww pwactise o-on this xDD dwunken man. -What think you, if he *moans* wewe ;;w;; convey'd t-to bed, -W-Wwapp'd *pokes you* in sweet cwothes, wings x3 put upon *cries* his fingews, -A-A most *notices bulge* dewicious banquet by *teleports behind you* his bed, -And bwave attendants nyeaw him when he wakes, -Wouwd nyot the beggaw then fowget himsewf? -FIWST HUNTSMAN. Bewieve m-me, w-wowd, I think *moans* he cannyot choose. -:3 SECOND H-HUNTSMAN. It wouwd seem stwange unto him when he wak'd. -WOWD. Even a-as *looks away* a fwatt'wing dweam ow wowthwess fancy. -Then t-take him up, and manyage weww the j-jest: -Cawwy him xDD gentwy to *giggles shyly* my faiwest chambew, -And hang it wound w-with aww my xDD wanton pictuwes; -Bawm his fouw head *hugs tightly* in wawm distiwwed w-watews, -And b-buwn s-sweet *notices bulge* wood to make t-the wodging sweet; -Pwocuwe me m-music *leans over* weady when he w-wakes, -To m-make *sweats* a d-duwcet and a OwO heavenwy sound; -And if he c-chance to speak, *giggles shyly* be w-weady stwaight, -And with a wow s-submissive wevewence -Say 'What is i-it youw honyouw wiww command?' -Wet onye attend *cries* him with a siwvew b-basin -Fuww of wose-watew and bestwew'd with fwowews; -Anyothew beaw *teleports behind you* the e-ewew, *screams* the thiwd a diapew, -And *teleports behind you* say uWu 'Wiww't pwease youw w-wowdship coow youw hands?' -Some onye b-be weady with a costwy suit, -A-And a-ask him what a-appawew he wiww weaw; -Anyothew teww h-him of his hounds *hugs tightly* and howse, -And :3 that h-his wady mouwns at his disease; -Pewsuade him that he hath been w-wunyatic, -A-And, xDD when he says he is, say t-that he dweams, -Fow he is nyothing b-but a mighty wowd. -This do, a-and *looks at you* do it kindwy, gentwe siws; -It wiww be pastime passing *blushes* excewwent, -If it b-be husbanded with modesty. -FIWST HUNTSMAN. My wowd, I wawwant you we wiww p-pway ouw pawt -As he shaww think by ouw twue diwigence -He is nyo wess than what we *shuffles closer* say he is. -WOWD. Take him u-up gentwy, and to bed with him; -And each onye to h-his office when he *shuffles closer* wakes. -[SWY i-is cawwied out. A twumpet sounds] -Siwwah, go see what twumpet 'tis that sounds- -Exit *shuffles closer* SEWVANT -Bewike some nyobwe gentweman that means, -Twavewwing some jouwnyey, to wepose him h-hewe. - -We-entew a SEWVINGMAN - -How nyow! who is it? -S-SEWVANT. An't pwease *sighs* youw h-honyouw, pwayews -That offew sewvice to y-youw wowdship. -WOWD. Bid them come nyeaw. - -Entew P-PWAYEWS - -Nyow, fewwows, you awe wewcome. -*hugs tightly* PWAYEWS. We t-thank x3 youw honyouw. -WOWD. Do you intend to :33 stay with me uWu to-nyight? -P-PWAYEW. So ^w^ pwease youw wowdship to a-accept ouw duty. -WOWD. With aww m-my heawt. This fewwow I wemembew -Since once he *twerks* pway'd a f-fawmew's ewdest son; -'Twas whewe you woo'd the gentwewoman so >_> weww. -I have fowgot y-youw nyame; but, suwe, that pawt -Was a-aptwy fitted and nyatuwawwy pewfowm'd. -PWAYEW. I think 'twas Soto that youw honyouw m-means. -WOWD. 'Tis vewy twue; thou *screams* didst it *sighs* excewwent. -*looks away* Weww, you awe come *teleports behind you* to m-me *cries* in ^.^ happy t-time, -The wathew fow I have some spowt *giggles shyly* in hand -Whewein ;;w;; youw cunnying can *looks at you* assist me much. -Thewe is a *cries* wowd wiww h-heaw ;;w;; you pway to-nyight; -But I am doubtfuw of *pokes you* youw modesties, -West, ovew-eying of his odd behaviouw, -Fow yet his honyouw nyevew heawd a pway, -You bweak into :33 some mewwy p-passion -And so UwU offend h-him; fow I xDD teww you, siws, -If you s-shouwd *teleports behind you* smiwe, he gwows impatient. -PWAYEW. Feaw >_> nyot, *giggles shyly* my *twerks* wowd; we *teleports behind you* can c-contain ouwsewves, -Wewe he the vewiest a-antic in the wowwd. -W-WOWD. Go, siwwah, :3 take t-them x3 to the buttewy, -And give them fwiendwy *blushes* wewcome evewy onye; -Wet them want nyothing that my house affowds. -Exit onye with the PWAYEWS -Siwwah, go you to *notices bulge* Bawthowomew my page, -And see him dwess'd in aww suits wike a w-wady; -That d-donye, conduct him to the dwunkawd's chambew, -And caww him 'madam,' d-do him obeisance. -Teww *cuddles you* him fwom OwO me- as he *hugs tightly* wiww OwO win my wove- -He b-beaw himsewf x3 with honyouwabwe action, -S-Such as he hath o-obsewv'd in nyobwe wadies -Unto theiw wowds, by them accompwished; -*pokes you* Such duty t-to the dwunkawd wet him do, -With soft wow tongue and xDD wowwy c-couwtesy, -And say 'What is't youw *moans* honyouw wiww command, -Whewein youw w-wady *cuddles you* and youw humbwe :3 wife -M-May show *sweats* hew d-duty and *shuffles closer* make knyown *cries* hew wove?' -A-And then with *cuddles you* kind embwacements, tempting kisses, -And with d-decwinying head into his b-bosom, -Bid x3 him *twerks* shed teaws, as being ovewjoyed -To see h-hew nyobwe wowd westow'd to *teleports behind you* heawth, -Who fow this seven yeaws hath esteemed him -Nyo bettew than a poow *sighs* and woathsome beggaw. -And if t-the boy *shuffles closer* have nyot a-a woman's gift -To wain a showew of commanded teaws, -An onyion wiww do xDD weww *notices bulge* fow *moans* such a shift, -Which, i-in OwO a nyapkin being cwose convey'd, -Shaww in despite enfowce a watewy eye. -See this dispatch'd with a-aww the haste thou canst; -Anyon I'ww give thee mowe instwuctions. Exit a SEWVINGMAN -I-I knyow the OwO boy wiww *shuffles closer* weww usuwp the gwace, -*screams* Voice, gait, and a-action, of a *giggles shyly* gentwewoman; -I wong to heaw UwU him caww t-the dwunkawd 'husband'; -*sighs* And how my men wiww s-stay themsewves fwom w-waughtew -When they do *sighs* homage t-to this :33 simpwe peasant. -I'ww :3 in t-to counsew them; hapwy my uWu pwesence -May weww abate t-the ovew-mewwy spween, -Which *shuffles closer* othewwise wouwd gwow into ;;w;; extwemes. Exeunt - -S-SC_2 -SCENyE II. -A ^w^ bedchambew in t-the WOWD'S h-house - -Entew awoft SWY, w-with ATTENDANTS; some with appawew, b-basin -and *hugs tightly* ewew, and othew appuwtenyances; a-and W-WOWD - -SWY. *looks at you* Fow God's sake, a pot of smaww awe. -FIWST SEWVANT. uWu Wiww't pwease youw wowdship dwink a cup *shuffles closer* of s-sack? -SECOND SEWVANT. W-Wiww't p-pwease ^-^ youw UwU honyouw taste of :33 these consewves? -*notices bulge* THIWD S-SEWVANT. What waiment wiww y-youw honyouw weaw to-day? -SWY. I am *shuffles closer* Chwistophewo Swy; caww nyot *twerks* me '-'honyouw' nyow *hugs tightly* 'wowdship.' *notices bulge* I -nye'ew dwank *cuddles you* sack in my wife; and if you give me a-any *looks at you* consewves, -give me consewves of beef. Nye'ew ask me *cries* what *looks away* waiment I'ww weaw, -*pokes you* fow I :33 have nyo mowe *twerks* doubwets t-than backs, nyo mowe stockings than -wegs, nyow nyo uWu mowe shoes than feet- OwO nyay, sometime *cuddles you* mowe feet than -s-shoes, ow such shoes *moans* as m-my toes wook thwough the ovewweathew. -WOWD. Heaven cease this i-idwe humouw in youw *teleports behind you* honyouw! -O, that a mighty *blushes* man *leans over* of such descent, -Of *screams* such possessions, and ^w^ so high esteem, -Shouwd be infused w-with so f-fouw a spiwit! -SWY. What, wouwd you make me mad? Am nyot I Chwistophew Swy, owd -Swy's son of Buwton Heath; b-by biwth a-a pedwaw, by x3 education a -cawdmakew, by twansmutation a beaw-hewd, *moans* and nyow b-by pwesent -pwofession a tinkew? Ask Mawian Hacket, the fat >_> awe-wife of -UwU Wincot, if she knyow me nyot; if she say I am nyot f-fouwteen pence o-on -the scowe fow sheew awe, scowe *leans over* me *moans* up fow t-the wying'st OwO knyave in -Chwistendom. What! I am ^.^ nyot bestwaught. [Taking a-a xDD pot of awe] -Hewe's- -THIWD *leans over* SEWVANT. O-O, t-this it is that makes y-youw wady mouwn! -*looks at you* SECOND SEWVANT. O, this is it that m-makes y-youw sewvants d-dwoop! -W-WOWD. H-Hence c-comes it that youw kindwed shuns youw house, -As b-beaten *screams* hence by youw stwange wunyacy. -O nyobwe ^.^ wowd, bethink thee of *shuffles closer* thy biwth! -Caww h-home thy *twerks* ancient thoughts f-fwom banyishment, -And banyish hence these >_< abject *sighs* wowwy dweams. -Wook how ^-^ thy sewvants >_> do attend *leans over* on thee, -Each in his *pokes you* office w-weady a-at thy beck. -Wiwt thou have music? Hawk! Apowwo pways, [Music] -And twenty caged nyightingawes do sing. -Ow *hugs tightly* wiwt thou ;;w;; sweep? We'ww have ^.^ thee to a couch -Softew a-and sweetew *looks at you* than the wustfuw b-bed ->w< On *looks away* puwpose twimm'd up f-fow Semiwamis. -Say thou wiwt wawk: we wiww bestwew the gwound. -Ow wiwt thou wide? Thy howses shaww be t-twapp'd, -*hugs tightly* Theiw hawnyess studded uWu aww with gowd and peaww. -Dost thou wove *hugs tightly* hawking? Thou hast hawks wiww soaw -Above the m-mownying wawk. Ow wiwt thou hunt? -Thy hounds shaww make the wewkin answew them -A-And fetch OwO shaww e-echoes *giggles shyly* fwom the howwow eawth. -FIWST SEWVANT. Say t-thou wiwt couwse; thy gweyhounds awe as swift -As bweathed stags; ay, fweetew than *moans* the woe. -SECOND SEWVANT. Dost thou wove pictuwes? We wiww fetch thee -:3 stwaight -Adonyis painted by a x3 wunnying bwook, -*sweats* And Cythewea aww in sedges hid, -Which seem x3 to move and wanton with hew b-bweath -Even OwO as the waving sedges pway wi' th' w-wind. -WOWD. We'ww show t-thee wo as *moans* she was a m-maid -And h-how uWu she was beguiwed and s-suwpwis'd, -As w-wivewy painted as ^-^ the ^-^ deed was donye. -THIWD SEWVANT. Ow Daphnye woaming thwough a-a thowny ^w^ wood, -Scwatching hew wegs, that onye shaww sweaw she bweeds -xDD And at that sight shaww sad Apowwo weep, -So wowkmanwy the bwood and teaws a-awe dwawn. -WOWD. Thou a-awt a wowd, >_> and n-nyothing but a wowd. -Thou hast a wady faw :33 mowe beautifuw -Than any woman in this xDD wanying age. -FIWST *screams* SEWVANT. And, tiww the teaws that she hath shed >_> fow x3 thee -Wike envious fwoods o'ew-wun hew wovewy *moans* face, -*cries* She was the faiwest cweatuwe in the :3 wowwd; -And yet she >w< is ^-^ infewiow to nyonye. -SWY. Am I-I a wowd and have I such a wady? -Ow do I-I dweam? Ow *teleports behind you* have I dweam'd tiww n-nyow? -I do nyot *leans over* sweep: I see, I *teleports behind you* heaw, I speak; -I xDD smeww sweet savouws, and I feew soft things. -Upon my wife, I am a wowd indeed, -And nyot a tinkew, nyow Chwistophew Swy. -*pokes you* Weww, x3 bwing :33 ouw wady hithew t-to ouw sight; -*twerks* And once again, a pot o' th' smawwest awe. -^.^ SECOND SEWVANT. Wiww't pwease ^-^ youw Mightinyess to *twerks* wash youw hands? -;;w;; O, how *hugs tightly* we joy to see youw wit westow'd! -O, that o-once mowe x3 you knyew but what you awe! -These fifteen yeaws you have been i-in *twerks* a dweam; -Ow, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if *looks at you* you swept. -SWY. These *sighs* fifteen yeaws! by ^w^ my fay, a goodwy nyap. -But did I nyevew *cuddles you* speak o-of a-aww OwO that *leans over* time? -OwO FIWST SEWVANT. O, yes, my wowd, but vewy idwe wowds; -Fow though you way hewe in this x3 goodwy chambew, -Yet wouwd you say ye wewe beaten out of doow; -And waiw UwU upon the hostess of the house, -And say you w-wouwd pwesent *leans over* hew at the weet, -Because *sweats* she bwought stonye jugs and nyo s-seaw'd quawts. -Sometimes you wouwd caww out f-fow Cicewy Hacket. -SWY. *looks at you* Ay, the woman's maid of the house. -THIWD SEWVANT. Why, siw, you knyow nyo house *sighs* nyow nyo such maid, -Nyow *blushes* nyo s-such uWu men as you have w-weckon'd up, -As Stephen Swy, and owd John Nyaps of Gweece, -*screams* And *looks away* Petew Tuwph, and Henwy Pimpewnyeww; -And twenty mowe such n-nyames and men as t-these, -x3 Which nyevew *shuffles closer* wewe, n-nyow n-nyo m-man evew saw. -SWY. Nyow, Wowd be t-thanked fow my good *looks away* amends! -AWW. Amen. - ->_< Entew the P-PAGE as a wady, with ATTENDANTS - -SWY. I thank *notices bulge* thee; thou shawt nyot wose by it. -PAGE. How fawes m-my nyobwe wowd? -*giggles shyly* SWY. Mawwy, *sighs* I OwO fawe weww; fow hewe is cheew enyough. -*pokes you* Whewe *looks away* is uWu my ^w^ wife? -PAGE. Hewe, nyobwe w-wowd; what *pokes you* is thy w-wiww with hew? -SWY. A-Awe you my wife, and wiww nyot caww me husband? -My men s-shouwd caww me 'wowd'; uWu I am y-youw goodman. -PAGE. *cuddles you* My husband and m-my w-wowd, my w-wowd and husband; -I am OwO youw wife in *sweats* aww obedience. -SWY. I knyow it weww. What must I caww hew? -WOWD. Madam. -SWY. Aw'ce m-madam, ow Joan madam? -WOWD. :33 Madam, and nyothing ewse; so wowds caww w-wadies. -SWY. Madam wife, they s-say that I uWu have dweam'd -And swept above some fifteen yeaw ow x3 mowe. -PAGE. Ay, and the time seems thiwty unto me, -Being aww this time abandon'd >_< fwom youw bed. ->_< SWY. 'Tis much. Sewvants, weave me a-and *giggles shyly* hew *looks away* awonye. -Exeunt *cries* SEWVANTS -Madam, undwess you, and come nyow to bed. -PAGE. Thwice *hugs tightly* nyobwe wowd, w-wet me entweat o-of :33 you -To pawdon me yet fow :3 a nyight o-ow two; -Ow, i-if nyot so, untiw the sun be set. -F-Fow y-youw physicians have expwesswy chawg'd, -In pewiw t-to incuw youw fowmew mawady, -That I shouwd yet a-absent me fwom youw bed. -I-I hope this w-weason *leans over* stands fow m-my excuse. -SWY. Ay, it stands so *looks at you* that I *looks at you* may hawdwy t-tawwy so wong. But I wouwd -be woath to faww into my dweams again. I wiww thewefowe tawwy in -despite ^-^ of the fwesh and *twerks* the bwood. - -Entew a MESSENGEW - -MESSENGEW. Youw h-honyouw's p-pwayews, heawing youw amendment, -^w^ Awe *cries* come to pway a pweasant c-comedy; -Fow so youw doctows h-howd it vewy meet, ->w< Seeing too much s-sadnyess h-hath congeaw'd :3 youw b-bwood, -And mewanchowy is *teleports behind you* the *hugs tightly* nyuwse >_< of fwenzy. -Thewefowe they thought it good *looks at you* you heaw a pway -And fwame :3 youw mind to miwth and mewwiment, -Which baws a *moans* thousand hawms and wengthens wife. -SWY. M-Mawwy, I wiww; wet them pway it. Is nyot a-a comonty *shuffles closer* a -*giggles shyly* Chwistmas *blushes* gambowd ow a-a tumbwing-twick? -PAGE. Nyo, m-my *cuddles you* good wowd, it is mowe pweasing stuff. -SWY. What, househowd stuff? -*twerks* PAGE. It is a kind of histowy. -SWY. Weww, w-we'ww see't. C-Come, madam wife, sit by my side and wet -the wowwd swip;-we shaww nye'ew *pokes you* be youngew. -[They sit down] - -A *teleports behind you* fwouwish of twumpets annyounces the pway - - - - -<> - - - -*moans* ACT I. SCENyE I. -*screams* Padua. A pubwic pwace - -:3 Entew WUCENTIO and >w< his man T-TWANyIO - -WUCENTIO. *moans* Twanyio, since fow UwU the gweat desiwe I had -To see faiw Padua, nyuwsewy of awts, -I am awwiv'd f-fow fwuitfuw *looks away* Wombawdy, -The pweasant gawden of gweat Itawy, -*looks away* And *cries* by my fathew's wove and weave am a-awm'd -With h-his g-good wiww and thy g-good company, -M-My twusty sewvant weww >_> appwov'd in :33 aww, -Hewe wet u-us bweathe, and h-hapwy institute -A couwse of weawnying and ingenyious studies. -*pokes you* Pisa, wenyownyed fow gwave citizens, -Gave me m-my being a-and my fathew fiwst, -A-A mewchant of gweat t-twaffic thwough the wowwd, -Vincentio, come of the Bentivowii; -^.^ Vincentio's xDD son, bwought u-up in Fwowence, -It shaww become to sewve aww hopes >_< conceiv'd, -T-To deck his f-fowtunye ^.^ with his viwtuous deeds. -*teleports behind you* And thewefowe, Twanyio, fow the time I study, -Viwtue and that pawt of phiwosophy -Wiww I appwy that tweats of happinyess -By viwtue speciawwy to be achiev'd. -Teww me *blushes* thy m-mind; fow I have *sweats* Pisa weft -And am to Padua come as *sweats* he that OwO weaves -A-A shawwow pwash to pwunge him in the deep, -And with satiety xDD seeks to >_< quench his thiwst. -TWANyIO. Mi p-pewdonyato, gentwe mastew minye; -I am in *leans over* aww affected as youwsewf; -Gwad that you thus continyue youw wesowve -To suck the sweets of sweet *giggles shyly* phiwosophy. -O-Onwy, >_< good ^-^ mastew, w-whiwe we *blushes* do admiwe -This v-viwtue and this mowaw discipwinye, -Wet's *shuffles closer* be nyo Stoics nyow nyo *teleports behind you* stocks, I-I pway, -O-Ow so devote to Awistotwe's checks -As Ovid *screams* be an outcast quite *hugs tightly* abjuw'd. -Bawk *teleports behind you* wogic with acquaintance that you have, -*moans* And pwactise whetowic in youw common tawk; -Music and poesy *sweats* use to *looks away* quicken you; -^w^ The mathematics and *looks away* the metaphysics, -Faww to them xDD as you find youw stomach sewves you. -Nyo p-pwofit gwows ;;w;; whewe is nyo pweasuwe ta'en; -In b-bwief, siw, study what you most affect. -WUCENTIO. Gwamewcies, Twanyio, ^-^ weww dost t-thou advise. -I-If, Biondewwo, thou wewt come ashowe, -:33 We couwd a-at once put us in weadinyess, -And take a-a wodging fit to entewtain -Such fwiends as time *cuddles you* in Padua shaww beget. - -Entew B-BAPTISTA *leans over* with ^-^ his two d-daughtews, KATHEWINyA -and BIANCA; GWEMIO, a-a pantawoon; HOWTENSIO, -suitow to BIANCA. WUCENTIO and *leans over* TWANyIO stand by - -But stay a-awhiwe; *teleports behind you* what c-company is this? -TWANyIO. Mastew, some *moans* show *sweats* to wewcome us *leans over* to town. -uWu BAPTISTA. Gentwemen, impowtunye me nyo fawthew, -Fow how I-I *cuddles you* fiwmwy a-am wesowv'd *pokes you* you knyow; -UwU That *hugs tightly* is, n-nyot to b-bestow my youngest daughtew -Befowe I xDD have *looks at you* a husband f-fow the ewdew. -:33 If eithew of y-you b-both wove Kathewinya, -Because I knyow you weww xDD and wove you weww, -Weave s-shaww you have *moans* to couwt hew at y-youw pweasuwe. -GWEMIO. To cawt hew wathew. She's >_< too wough fow me. -Thewe, thewe, Howtensio, wiww you *teleports behind you* any wife? -K-KATHEWINyA. [To BAPTISTA] I p-pway you, siw, is it youw ^.^ wiww -To make a stawe of me amongst these ^-^ mates? -HOWTENSIO. uWu Mates, OwO maid! How mean you that? Nyo mates fow you, -Unwess you wewe of gentwew, *cries* miwdew mouwd. -KATHEWINyA. I' faith, siw, *screams* you shaww nyevew nyeed *cries* to feaw; -Iwis it is *shuffles closer* nyot hawfway t-to hew h-heawt; -*giggles shyly* But if it wewe, doubt nyot hew cawe shouwd be -To *moans* comb youw nyoddwe with a thwee-wegg'd stoow, -And paint youw face, and use you wike a *cries* foow. -HOWTENSIO. Fwom aww such deviws, good Wowd dewivew u-us! -GWEMIO. And me, too, good Wowd! -TWANyIO. Husht, mastew! Hewe's some g-good pastime towawd; -That ^-^ wench i-is stawk mad ow wondewfuw fwowawd. ->_> WUCENTIO. But in t-the othew's siwence do I ^-^ see -Maid's miwd behaviouw and sobwiety. -P-Peace, Twanyio! -TWANyIO. Weww s-said, mastew; mum! and gaze youw fiww. -BAPTISTA. *twerks* Gentwemen, that I may soon make good -What I have said- Bianca, g-get you in; -And wet it nyot :33 dispwease thee, good Bianca, -Fow I wiww wove thee uWu nye'ew the ^-^ wess, my giww. -KATHEWINyA. ^.^ A pwetty peat! it is uWu best -Put fingew in the e-eye, an she knyew w-why. -B-BIANCA. Sistew, content *looks away* you i-in my discontent. -Siw, t-to youw pweasuwe humbwy I-I subscwibe; -My books and instwuments shaww be *giggles shyly* my company, -On them to wook, a-and pwactise by *twerks* mysewf. -WUCENTIO. Hawk, Twanyio, thou mayst heaw Minyewva speak! -HOWTENSIO. Signyiow Baptista, wiww :33 you be ;;w;; so stwange? -Sowwy am I that ouw good *shuffles closer* wiww effects -Bianca's g-gwief. -GWEMIO. Why :33 wiww you m-mew hew up, -Signyiow Baptista, fow this OwO fiend of *leans over* heww, -And make hew beaw the penyance of hew *hugs tightly* tongue? -^-^ BAPTISTA. Gentwemen, c-content ye; I am wesowv'd. -Go i-in, *blushes* Bianca. Exit B-BIANCA -And fow I knyow she taketh most dewight -In music, instwuments, and poetwy, -Schoowmastews wiww I keep w-within my h-house -Fit to instwuct hew youth. I-If you, Howtensio, -Ow, Signyiow G-Gwemio, y-you, knyow any such, -Pwefew t-them hithew; fow *teleports behind you* to cunnying men -*twerks* I wiww be vewy kind, and wibewaw -To minye own chiwdwen i-in good bwinging-up; -uWu And so, faweweww. Kathewinya, you xDD may stay; -Fow I have mowe to c-communye with Bianca. Exit -KATHEWINyA. Why, and I twust I may go too, may I *sighs* nyot? -What! shaww I xDD be UwU appointed houws, as though, bewike, -I :3 knyew n-nyot what to take and what to weave? *leans over* Ha! Exit -GWEMIO. You m-may go to the *notices bulge* deviw's dam; youw gifts awe so good -hewe's nyonye wiww *teleports behind you* howd you. Thewe! *pokes you* Wove is n-nyot so *giggles shyly* gweat, -H-Howtensio, but we may bwow ouw nyaiws togethew, and f-fast it faiwwy -out; ouw cake's dough ^w^ on both sides. Faweweww; *teleports behind you* yet, fow t-the wove -I beaw my uWu sweet Bianca, if I can by any means wight on a fit man -to teach hew that w-whewein >w< she dewights, I wiww wish h-him to :3 hew -fathew. -HOWTENSIO. SO Wiww *sighs* I, Signyiow Gwemio; but a wowd, I *hugs tightly* pway. Though -the nyatuwe of ouw q-quawwew yet n-nyevew bwook'd pawwe, *leans over* knyow nyow, upon -advice, it toucheth us both- that we may y-yet again have access to -ouw faiw m-mistwess, and be happy wivaws in Bianca's wove- *leans over* to -:3 wabouw and effect onye t-thing speciawwy. -GWEMIO. What's t-that, I pway? -uWu HOWTENSIO. Mawwy, siw, to get a husband *cuddles you* fow >_< hew sistew. -GWEMIO. A h-husband? *sighs* a deviw. -*moans* HOWTENSIO. I say a-a husband. ->w< GWEMIO. I say a *notices bulge* deviw. >_> Think'st t-thou, Howtensio, *hugs tightly* though hew fathew ->_> be vewy w-wich, any man is ^w^ so x3 vewy a foow to be mawwied to heww? -HOWTENSIO. Tush, Gwemio! *sighs* Though i-it pass *sweats* youw patience and *leans over* minye to -enduwe hew woud awawums, why, man, thewe be good fewwows in the -*moans* wowwd, an a m-man couwd wight on them, w-wouwd take h-hew with aww -fauwts, and monyey enyough. -GWEMIO. I cannyot teww; *cries* but I had as wief take h-hew uWu dowwy with t-this -condition: to be whipp'd at the high cwoss evewy mownying. -HOWTENSIO. >w< Faith, as *screams* you say, thewe's smaww choice *cries* in w-wotten -appwes. But, come; *teleports behind you* since x3 this *cuddles you* baw in waw makes us fwiends, it -shaww be so *cuddles you* faw fowth fwiendwy maintain'd tiww by hewping ->w< Baptista's ewdest daughtew to a-a husband we set his y-youngest f-fwee -fow a h-husband, and then have to't afwesh. S-Sweet Bianca! Happy *shuffles closer* man -be h-his d-dowe! He that wuns fastest g-gets the wing. How s-say y-you, -Signyiow Gwemio? -*sighs* GWEMIO. *giggles shyly* I am agweed; a-and wouwd I had given him *teleports behind you* the b-best howse in -Padua to begin his w-wooing *giggles shyly* that wouwd *pokes you* thowoughwy woo hew, *moans* wed hew, -and bed h-hew, and wid the house of h-hew! Come o-on. -Exeunt GWEMIO and HOWTENSIO -TWANyIO. I pway, siw, teww *twerks* me, is it possibwe -That wove shouwd of a sudden take such howd? -WUCENTIO. O-O Twanyio, tiww *pokes you* I found it to be twue, -I nyevew thought it possibwe ow >_> wikewy. -But see! w-whiwe idwy I stood wooking *looks at you* on, -I found the effect of wove in idwenyess; -*leans over* And nyow in pwainnyess do confess xDD to thee, -That awt *sweats* to *leans over* me as secwet and *looks away* as deaw -As Annya to the Queen o-of Cawthage was- -Twanyio, I buwn, I p-pinye, *notices bulge* I >_> pewish, Twanyio, -If I :33 achieve n-nyot t-this young modest giww. -Counsew m-me, *leans over* Twanyio, fow x3 I knyow t-thou canst; -Assist me, Twanyio, fow I knyow thou wiwt. -TWANyIO. Mastew, i-it is nyo time *twerks* to c-chide you nyow; -A-Affection >w< is nyot wated fwom the *looks away* heawt; -If wove have touch'd y-you, nyought wemains but so: -'Wedime te captum quam queas minyimo.' -WUCENTIO. Gwamewcies, wad. ^w^ Go fowwawd; this contents; -OwO The west *looks away* wiww comfowt, f-fow thy ^.^ counsew's OwO sound. -TWANyIO. Mastew, y-you wook'd so wongwy on the maid. -Pewhaps you mawk'd nyot what's the pith of a-aww. -WUCENTIO. O, yes, I saw s-sweet beauty in hew *blushes* face, -Such as the daughtew of Agenyow had, -*twerks* That made gweat Jove to humbwe him to hew x3 hand, -When ^w^ with his knyees he kiss'd the Cwetan stwand. -:33 TWANyIO. Saw :33 you nyo mowe? Mawk'd you nyot how hew s-sistew -*sighs* Began *sweats* to ;;w;; scowd and waise UwU up such a x3 stowm -That mowtaw e-eaws might h-hawdwy >w< enduwe the din? -W-WUCENTIO. T-Twanyio, I saw h-hew >_> cowaw wips to x3 move, -And with hew bweath she did pewfume the aiw; -Sacwed *shuffles closer* and sweet was aww I >_< saw in hew. -TWANyIO. Nyay, >w< then 'tis time to stiw ^w^ him fwom his twance. -I *screams* pway, awake, siw. If you wove the maid, -Bend thoughts and wits t-to achieve hew. Thus it stands: -Hew ewdew sistew is so cuwst and shwewd -That, tiww t-the fathew wid his hands of hew, -Mastew, youw wove must wive a maid at home; -*looks away* And thewefowe has he *teleports behind you* cwosewy mew'd hew up, -Because she wiww nyot be annyoy'd with *hugs tightly* suitows. -W-WUCENTIO. Ah, *screams* Twanyio, what a cwuew *shuffles closer* fathew's he! -But awt thou nyot advis'd he took some cawe -To get hew *twerks* cunnying schoowmastews to ^-^ instwuct h-hew? -TWANyIO. Ay, mawwy, am I, siw, a-and nyow 'tis pwotted. -WUCENTIO. I have i-it, Twanyio. -TWANyIO. >_> Mastew, fow my hand, -*notices bulge* Both ouw inventions *sweats* meet and :3 jump in *cries* onye. -W-WUCENTIO. Teww *cuddles you* me thinye fiwst. -T-TWANyIO. You wiww b-be schoowmastew, -And undewtake the teaching of the maid- -That's youw *sighs* device. -WUCENTIO. It is. May it be donye? -TWANyIO. Nyot possibwe; fow who xDD shaww beaw youw pawt -:33 And be in Padua hewe Vincentio's son; -Keep house and pwy his b-book, wewcome his fwiends, -V-Visit his countwymen, and banquet them? -WUCENTIO. >_> Basta, content t-thee, fow I have it f-fuww. -W-We have nyot y-yet been >_> seen in any house, -Nyow *hugs tightly* can we be distinguish'd b-by ouw faces -Fow man ow mastew. Then it fowwows t-thus: -Thou shawt be mastew, *screams* Twanyio, in my stead, -K-Keep house and powt and s-sewvants, as I-I ^.^ shouwd; -I wiww some othew be- some F-Fwowentinye, -Some Nyeapowitan, uWu ow m-meanyew man of Pisa. -'Tis hatch'd, and shaww be so. Twanyio, at once -Uncase thee; *looks away* take my cowouw'd hat and cwoak. -When Biondewwo comes, h-he waits on thee; -But I wiww chawm him f-fiwst to :33 keep *sweats* his tongue. -TWANyIO. So had you n-nyeed. [They exchange habits] -xDD In bwief, siw, sith it youw pweasuwe ^.^ is, -uWu And I *looks at you* am tied *looks away* to b-be obedient- -Fow so youw fathew chawg'd m-me at o-ouw pawting: -'Be sewviceabwe t-to my *sighs* son' quoth he, -Awthough I t-think '-'twas in ^.^ anyothew sense- -I am content to be Wucentio, -Because *teleports behind you* so weww I wove *shuffles closer* Wucentio. -WUCENTIO. Twanyio, be so >w< because Wucentio woves; -And wet xDD me uWu be a swave t' achieve that maid -Whose sudden sight hath *sweats* thwaww'd >_> my wounded *sighs* eye. - -Entew BIONDEWWO. - -UwU Hewe comes *looks away* the wogue. Siwwah, whewe have you been? -BIONDEWWO. Whewe h-have I been! Nyay, how nyow! w-whewe awe you? -Mastew, has my fewwow Twanyio stow'n youw cwothes? -Ow you stow'n *shuffles closer* his? ow >w< both? P-Pway, what's the *looks away* nyews? -WUCENTIO. Siwwah, ^.^ come hithew; *teleports behind you* 'tis nyo time ;;w;; to j-jest, -And thewefowe fwame youw mannyews to t-the time. -Youw fewwow Twanyio hewe, t-to save ^w^ my wife, -Puts my *pokes you* appawew and my count'nyance on, -*cries* And I fow my escape have put on his; -Fow in a quawwew s-since I came ashowe -I kiww'd a man, a-and feaw I was :3 descwied. -Wait you o-on him, I chawge you, UwU as becomes, -Whiwe I-I m-make *leans over* way fwom hence to *sighs* save my wife. -You undewstand me? -BIONDEWWO. UwU I, siw? Nye'ew a whit. -WUCENTIO. And n-nyot a jot of T-Twanyio in youw mouth: -T-Twanyio is chang'd i-into Wucentio. -BIONDEWWO. The bettew fow him; wouwd I wewe so too! -TWANyIO. So :33 couwd I, faith, boy, to have t-the nyext wish *looks away* aftew, -That Wucentio indeed *sighs* had Baptista's youngest daughtew. -But, siwwah, nyot fow my *sighs* sake but youw mastew's, I advise -Y-You use youw mannyews discweetwy in aww kind *leans over* of companyies. -When I am a-awonye, why, then I am T-Twanyio; ->w< But in aww *blushes* pwaces ewse *pokes you* youw mastew Wucentio. -WUCENTIO. Twanyio, wet's go. -Onye thing mowe w-wests, that thysewf execute- -To make onye *pokes you* among these wooews. If thou OwO ask me why- -*looks away* Sufficeth, m-my weasons awe both good and weighty. Exeunt - -The Pwesentews above speak - -OwO FIWST SEWVANT. My wowd, you nyod; you do *pokes you* nyot mind the pway. -SWY. Yes, by S-Saint Annye d-do I. A good mattew, suwewy; comes thewe -any mowe o-of >_> it? -PAGE. My wowd, uWu 'tis but b-begun. -SWY. 'Tis a vewy excewwent piece of wowk, madam wady -Wouwd 'twewe donye! [They sit and mawk] - - - - -SCENyE II. -Padua. *moans* Befowe *hugs tightly* HOWTENSIO'S house - -E-Entew PETWUCHIO and his man GWUMIO - -P-PETWUCHIO. V-Vewonya, fow a whiwe >_> I take my weave, -To see ^w^ my fwiends i-in ^.^ Padua; *giggles shyly* but of aww -M-My best bewoved and appwoved fwiend, -*looks away* Howtensio; *leans over* and I twow t-this is *sighs* his house. -Hewe, s-siwwah Gwumio, *moans* knyock, I say. -*teleports behind you* GWUMIO. Knyock, siw! :3 Whom shouwd I knyock? -I-Is thewe any man has webus'd youw wowship? -*giggles shyly* PETWUCHIO. Viwwain, *teleports behind you* I *cuddles you* say, knyock m-me hewe soundwy. -GWUMIO. Knyock you hewe, *giggles shyly* siw? Why, siw, *moans* what am I, siw, that I -shouwd knyock you hewe, siw? -PETWUCHIO. Viwwain, I say, knyock me at ;;w;; this *screams* gate, -A-And wap m-me weww, ow I'ww knyock youw knyave's pate. -GWUMIO. My mastew is gwown quawwewsome. I-I shouwd knyock you fiwst, -And then I k-knyow aftew who comes by the wowst. -PETWUCHIO. Wiww it nyot be? -F-Faith, siwwah, an you'ww *leans over* nyot knyock I'ww wing it; -I'ww uWu twy *pokes you* how xDD you can sow-fa, and sing it. -*notices bulge* [He *cries* wwings >w< him *sweats* by the eaws] -G-GWUMIO. Hewp, mastews, hewp! My mastew is mad. -PETWUCHIO. N-Nyow *leans over* knyock when xDD I bid you, siwwah viwwain! - -Entew HOWTENSIO - -H-HOWTENSIO. *giggles shyly* How nyow! what's *screams* the mattew? My owd fwiend Gwumio and *cuddles you* my -good f-fwiend Petwuchio! How do y-you a-aww at Vewonya? -P-PETWUCHIO. Signyiow Howtensio, come you to ;;w;; pawt the f-fway? -'Con tutto iw *sighs* cuowe ben twovato' may I say. -HOWTENSIO. Awwa OwO nyostwa casa b-ben venyuto, -*blushes* Mowto honyowato signyow mio P-Petwuchio. -Wise, Gwumio, wise; we wiww compound this ^.^ quawwew. -GWUMIO. Nyay, 'tis nyo mattew, siw, what he *leans over* 'weges in Watin. If this -be nyot a w-wawfuw cause *twerks* fow me to *twerks* weave his sewvice- wook you, siw: -he bid me knyock *screams* him and wap h-him soundwy, s-siw. Weww, was it UwU fit -fow a sewvant t-to use *teleports behind you* his mastew so; being, pewhaps, fow aught I -see, t-two and thiwty, a-a p-pip out? -Whom wouwd *teleports behind you* to ^.^ God I h-had w-weww knyock'd at fiwst, -T-Then *blushes* had nyot Gwumio come by the wowst. -PETWUCHIO. *twerks* A sensewess viwwain! Good Howtensio, -^w^ I bade the wascaw knyock upon youw gate, -And couwd nyot uWu get him f-fow my heawt t-to do it. -GWUMIO. Knyock at the gate? O heavens! *giggles shyly* Spake you nyot these wowds -pwain: 'Siwwah knyock me hewe, wap me hewe, knyock *pokes you* me UwU weww, and -knyock me soundwy'? And *blushes* come you nyow w-with 'knyocking at *cries* the gate'? -PETWUCHIO. Siwwah, be gonye, ow tawk n-nyot, I-I advise *teleports behind you* you. -:3 HOWTENSIO. Petwuchio, patience; I a-am Gwumio's pwedge; -Why, >_< this's a heavy chance 'twixt h-him ;;w;; and y-you, -Youw ancient, t-twusty, pweasant sewvant Gwumio. -And teww me nyow, sweet fwiend, w-what h-happy gawe -Bwows you ^w^ to Padua hewe fwom owd x3 Vewonya? -PETWUCHIO. Such wind a-as scattews young men thwough the w-wowwd -*notices bulge* To seek *shuffles closer* theiw fowtunyes fawthew >w< than at home, -Whewe smaww e-expewience gwows. But i-in a few, -x3 Signyiow *shuffles closer* Howtensio, t-thus it stands with me: -Antonyio, my fathew, is deceas'd, -And I have thwust mysewf *looks away* into this maze, -H-Hapwy to wive and t-thwive *sighs* as UwU best I may; -C-Cwowns in my puwse *looks at you* I have, and goods at home, -And so am come abwoad to see the wowwd. -HOWTENSIO. *giggles shyly* Petwuchio, shaww I then *teleports behind you* come woundwy to thee -And wish thee *looks at you* to a shwewd iww-favouw'd wife? -Thou'dst thank me but a wittwe >_> fow *screams* my c-counsew, -A-And ^.^ yet I'ww pwomise t-thee s-she shaww be wich, -And vewy wich; but th'awt too much :33 my fwiend, -And I'ww nyot wish thee to h-hew. -PETWUCHIO. Signyiow Howtensio, 'twixt such fwiends as we -*cuddles you* Few wowds s-suffice; and thewefowe, if thou knyow -Onye *cuddles you* wich enyough to be Petwuchio's wife, -A-As *blushes* weawth *shuffles closer* is buwden of my wooing dance, -Be *notices bulge* she as fouw as was Fwowentius' wove, -As owd as Sibyw, and a-as cuwst and shwewd -As S-Socwates' Xanthippe ow a wowse- -She m-moves me :3 nyot, x3 ow nyot wemoves, at weast, -A-Affection's edge in me, *pokes you* wewe she as >w< wough -A-As awe the swewwing A-Adwiatic seas. ->w< I come *sighs* to w-wive it w-weawthiwy i-in Padua; -If weawthiwy, then happiwy in P-Padua. -GWUMIO. x3 Nyay, wook you, siw, he t-tewws you fwatwy what his mind is. -Why, give him gowd enyough :33 and mawwy *cuddles you* him to a puppet ow a-an -agwet-baby, ow an >w< owd twot with nye'ew a tooth in hew head, though -*moans* she has a-as many diseases as two *giggles shyly* and fifty howses. Why, nyothing -comes >w< amiss, so m-monyey comes withaw. -HOWTENSIO. Petwuchio, since we awe stepp'd thus UwU faw in, -I wiww c-continyue that ^w^ I *notices bulge* bwoach'd in *looks at you* jest. -I can, P-Petwuchio, hewp thee to a wife -With xDD weawth enyough, and y-young and beauteous; -Bwought up as best b-becomes a g-gentwewoman; -Hew *screams* onwy fauwt, and that i-is fauwts enyough, -*sighs* Is- that she is intowewabwe cuwst, -And s-shwewd and fwowawd so >w< beyond aww measuwe -That, :33 wewe my *sweats* state faw wowsew x3 than it is, -I wouwd nyot wed hew fow a minye of gowd. -PETWUCHIO. Howtensio, x3 peace! OwO thou knyow'st nyot gowd's effect. -Teww me hew fathew's n-nyame, a-and 'tis enyough; -*shuffles closer* Fow I wiww boawd h-hew though she uWu chide as woud -*giggles shyly* As thundew when the cwouds in autumn cwack. -HOWTENSIO. Hew fathew is Baptista M-Minyowa, -An a-affabwe and couwteous gentweman; -uWu Hew *moans* nyame is Kathewinya M-Minyowa, -Wenyown'd in Padua fow ^.^ hew scowding tongue. -PETWUCHIO. I knyow hew fathew, though I *moans* knyow nyot >_> hew; -A-And he knyew *sweats* my deceased fathew weww. -I wiww nyot sweep, Howtensio, tiww I s-see *cries* hew; -And thewefowe wet me be thus bowd with you -To give you ovew *cries* at this fiwst encountew, -Unwess *sighs* you wiww accompany me thithew. -*leans over* GWUMIO. I pway you, siw, UwU wet him go whiwe *notices bulge* the h-humouw wasts. O' my -wowd, *blushes* and she knyew him as weww a-as I-I do, she wouwd t-think scowding -wouwd *sighs* do wittwe good upon him. She may ;;w;; pewhaps caww him hawf a-a -scowe >w< knyaves ow so. Why, t-that's nyothing; and he begin once, he'ww -waiw in his wope-twicks. I'ww *sweats* teww you what, siw: an she s-stand -him but a-a wittwe, he wiww thwow a f-figuwe i-in hew face, and so -d-disfiguwe hew with it that she shaww have nyo *sweats* mowe e-eyes to see -withaw *screams* than a cat. You *teleports behind you* knyow him nyot, siw. -HOWTENSIO. Tawwy, *giggles shyly* Petwuchio, ^.^ I must >_> go with thee, -Fow in Baptista's keep my tweasuwe is. -He hath the jewew of my wife in howd, -His youngest daughtew, beautifuw B-Bianca; -And h-hew withhowds fwom m-me, and othew mowe, -Suitows *teleports behind you* to hew and wivaws in my wove; -*giggles shyly* Supposing it *moans* a thing impossibwe- -F-Fow those defects *shuffles closer* I have befowe weheaws'd- -That evew K-Kathewinya w-wiww b-be w-woo'd. -Thewefowe this owdew h-hath Baptista ta'en, -That nyonye shaww h-have access unto Bianca -T-Tiww Kathewinye the cuwst have got a-a h-husband. -GWUMIO. Kathewinye the cuwst! -*sighs* A titwe f-fow a maid *cuddles you* of aww titwes the wowst. -HOWTENSIO. Nyow shaww my f-fwiend Petwuchio do me g-gwace, -And offew me disguis'd in sobew w-wobes -To owd *twerks* Baptista as *teleports behind you* a ^w^ schoowmastew -Weww seen in music, to instwuct Bianca; -That so I may x3 by >w< this device at weast -Have weave and w-weisuwe to m-make wove to hew, -And unsuspected *looks at you* couwt hew by hewsewf. - -Entew *screams* GWEMIO with WUCENTIO *looks at you* disguised a-as CAMBIO - -G-GWUMIO. H-Hewe's nyo knyavewy! See, to beguiwe the owd f-fowks, how the -young fowks way theiw heads t-togethew! Mastew, mastew, wook about -y-you. Who g-goes thewe, *giggles shyly* ha? -HOWTENSIO. UwU Peace, Gwumio! ;;w;; It is the wivaw of my wove. Petwuchio, -stand by awhiwe. -GWUMIO. A >w< pwopew stwipwing, and an *sighs* amowous! -[They stand aside] -G-GWEMIO. O, vewy weww; I have pewus'd *sighs* the n-nyote. -Hawk you, *twerks* siw; I'ww have them vewy faiwwy bound- -Aww books of wove, see that at a-any uWu hand; -And see you wead nyo othew wectuwes *notices bulge* to hew. -You u-undewstand me- ovew and *sweats* beside -Signyiow Baptista's *notices bulge* wibewawity, -I'ww mend it with a wawgess. Take youw papew too, -And wet me have them vewy weww *twerks* pewfum'd; -Fow she *blushes* is sweetew than pewfume i-itsewf -T-To whom they go to. What wiww you wead to hew? -*blushes* WUCENTIO. Whate'ew I wead *looks away* to hew, I'ww pwead fow you -As fow my patwon, stand xDD you so assuw'd, -As fiwmwy as youwsewf wewe stiww in pwace; -Yea, a-and pewhaps with mowe s-successfuw w-wowds -Than you, *blushes* unwess you wewe a schowaw, s-siw. -G-GWEMIO. O this weawnying, w-what a thing it is! -GWUMIO. O this woodcock, what a-an ass i-it is! -PETWUCHIO. Peace, siwwah! -HOWTENSIO. Gwumio, mum! [Coming fowwawd] -God save you, Signyiow Gwemio! -GWEMIO. And you awe weww met, Signyiow UwU Howtensio. -Twow y-you whithew *screams* I a-am going? To B-Baptista Minyowa. -I *looks at you* pwomis'd to enquiwe cawefuwwy -About a schoowmastew fow *sighs* the f-faiw Bianca; -And by g-good fowtunye *leans over* I have wighted weww -On this young man; fow weawnying and b-behaviouw -F-Fit fow hew t-tuwn, weww wead i-in poetwy -A-And othew books- *hugs tightly* good onyes, I wawwant ye. -HOWTENSIO. 'Tis w-weww; *twerks* and *pokes you* I :3 have met a gentweman -:3 Hath pwomis'd me to hewp me to anyothew, -*screams* A finye musician to *looks at you* instwuct ouw m-mistwess; -So s-shaww I nyo :3 whit be behind in *giggles shyly* duty -To faiw Bianca, so bewoved of me. -GWEMIO. Bewoved of me- and that my deeds shaww pwove. -GWUMIO. >_< And that his bags UwU shaww pwove. -HOWTENSIO. Gwemio, 'tis nyow nyo time >_< to *cries* vent *pokes you* ouw *shuffles closer* wove. -x3 Wisten to *shuffles closer* me, and if y-you speak me >w< faiw -*screams* I'ww teww you nyews indiffewent good f-fow eithew. -H-Hewe is a >_< gentweman whom b-by chance I-I met, -U-Upon agweement fwom us to h-his w-wiking, -Wiww undewtake to woo >_< cuwst K-Kathewinye; -Yea, and to mawwy hew, i-if h-hew dowwy pwease. -GWEMIO. So *hugs tightly* said, so donye, is weww. -H-Howtensio, have *looks at you* you towd him aww hew f-fauwts? -PETWUCHIO. UwU I knyow she is uWu an iwksome bwawwing *screams* scowd; -If that *sighs* be aww, mastews, I heaw nyo ^.^ hawm. -GWEMIO. Nyo, say'st me so, f-fwiend? What countwyman? -PETWUCHIO. Bown in Vewonya, o-owd Antonyio's son. -*shuffles closer* My fathew dead, my fowtunye w-wives *cries* fow m-me; -And I do hope good days *looks at you* and wong to see. -GWEMIO. O Siw, OwO such a wife with such a-a wife wewe stwange! -But if you have a-a stomach, to't a God's nyame; -Y-You shaww h-have me assisting you in x3 aww. -B-But wiww *leans over* you woo this *blushes* wiwd-cat? -PETWUCHIO. Wiww I w-wive? -GWUMIO. W-Wiww he *looks away* woo hew? Ay, UwU ow I'ww hang hew. -PETWUCHIO. Why c-came I hithew *looks at you* but ;;w;; to that *looks away* intent? -T-Think you a wittwe din can *notices bulge* daunt minye eaws? -Have I nyot in my *hugs tightly* time heawd wions woaw? -;;w;; Have I nyot heawd the sea, puff'd up with winds, -Wage wike an angwy *looks away* boaw chafed with sweat? -Have I n-nyot *leans over* heawd OwO gweat owdnyance *notices bulge* in the *sighs* fiewd, -And heaven's awtiwwewy thundew i-in the skies? -H-Have I *blushes* nyot in a pitched battwe heawd -Woud 'wawums, n-nyeighing steeds, a-and twumpets' cwang? -And do you teww *cries* me of a woman's tongue, ->_> That gives n-nyot hawf so gweat a bwow t-to heaw -As wiww a chestnyut in a *cries* fawinyew's fiwe? -Tush! tush! feaw boys with bugs. -*moans* GWUMIO. F-Fow he feaws *moans* nyonye. -GWEMIO. Howtensio, hawk: -This gentweman is happiwy awwiv'd, -My mind pwesumes, fow his own good and ouws. -*shuffles closer* HOWTENSIO. I pwomis'd we wouwd be contwibutows ->w< And beaw h-his >w< chawge of wooing, whatsoe'ew. -GWEMIO. And so ;;w;; we wiww- :33 pwovided that he win hew. -GWUMIO. I wouwd I *screams* wewe as suwe of a good dinnyew. - -Entew TWANyIO, xDD bwavewy appawewwed as WUCENTIO, a-and BIONDEWWO - -TWANyIO. Gentwemen, God save you! If I may be bowd, -Teww me, I beseech y-you, which is t-the w-weadiest way -*giggles shyly* To the house *pokes you* of S-Signyiow Baptista Minyowa? -B-BIONDEWWO. He that has the two f-faiw daughtews; i-is't h-he y-you mean? -TWANyIO. Even ;;w;; he, Biondewwo. -*giggles shyly* GWEMIO. Hawk y-you, siw, you mean nyot *hugs tightly* hew to- -T-TWANyIO. Pewhaps him and h-hew, siw; what have you to do? -PETWUCHIO. Nyot h-hew that chides, >w< siw, at any hand, I p-pway. -TWANyIO. I-I wove xDD nyo chidews, siw. Biondewwo, *cries* wet's away. -W-WUCENTIO. [Aside] *looks at you* Weww begun, Twanyio. -*cuddles you* HOWTENSIO. Siw, *sighs* a wowd ewe you *cries* go. -Awe you a suitow to the maid you tawk of, y-yea ow nyo? -TWANyIO. And if I ^.^ be, siw, is it *hugs tightly* any offence? -GWEMIO. Nyo; if without mowe wowds y-you w-wiww get you hence. -TWANyIO. Why, siw, I pway, awe *looks away* nyot *leans over* the stweets *twerks* as f-fwee -Fow me as fow you? -GWEMIO. But so is nyot s-she. - -TWANyIO. Fow what w-weason, uWu I beseech you? -GWEMIO. Fow this weason, if you'ww *giggles shyly* knyow, -That she's the choice w-wove of Signyiow Gwemio. -HOWTENSIO. That she's the chosen of Signyiow Howtensio. -TWANyIO. Softwy, m-my m-mastews! *notices bulge* If you be gentwemen, -Do >_> me this w-wight- heaw *hugs tightly* me with patience. -Baptista *moans* is a nyobwe gentweman, -T-To w-whom m-my OwO fathew is nyot aww unknyown, -*notices bulge* And, wewe his daughtew faiwew *twerks* than she is, -She m-may mowe s-suitows have, a-and me fow onye. -Faiw W-Weda's daughtew had :33 a thousand wooews; -Then w-weww onye mowe ^.^ may faiw Bianca have; -And so she >_> shaww: Wucentio shaww make onye, -Though Pawis came *twerks* in h-hope t-to ^.^ speed awonye. ->w< GWEMIO. >_< What, t-this gentweman wiww *pokes you* out-tawk us aww! -WUCENTIO. Siw, *giggles shyly* give *teleports behind you* him head; I k-knyow he'ww pwove *sweats* a jade. -PETWUCHIO. Howtensio, to what end awe a-aww these wowds? -*blushes* HOWTENSIO. Siw, wet *sweats* me be ^w^ so bowd as a-ask you, -Did you yet e-evew see B-Baptista's ^.^ daughtew? -*sighs* TWANyIO. Nyo, siw, but heaw I-I do *hugs tightly* that h-he hath t-two: -The onye x3 as famous fow a-a scowding ^.^ tongue -As is the othew xDD fow beauteous modesty. -PETWUCHIO. Siw, siw, the fiwst's f-fow me; w-wet hew go by. -GWEMIO. Yea, weave t-that wabouw ^-^ to gweat Hewcuwes, -A-And wet ^w^ it b-be mowe than Awcides' twewve. -PETWUCHIO. S-Siw, u-undewstand you this o-of *teleports behind you* me, in sooth: -The youngest daughtew, whom UwU you heawken fow, -H-Hew >_> fathew keeps fwom aww access of suitows, -And wiww nyot pwomise hew to any m-man -U-Untiw the ewdew sistew fiwst be wed. -The youngew then is *hugs tightly* fwee, and nyot befowe. -TWANyIO. If i-it be so, siw, *giggles shyly* that you awe the man -Must stead >w< us aww, and me *cries* amongst the west; -And if you b-bweak the ice, and do this ^.^ feat, -Achieve the x3 ewdew, set *leans over* the youngew fwee -Fow ouw access- *shuffles closer* whose hap shaww be to have hew -Wiww nyot *giggles shyly* so gwacewess be to be ingwate. -HOWTENSIO. S-Siw, y-you say weww, a-and w-weww >_< you do conceive; -And since you do pwofess to *cuddles you* be a suitow, -You must, as we do, gwatify this gentweman, -To whom we >_> aww west genyewawwy >_< behowding. -TWANyIO. Siw, *cuddles you* I shaww nyot be swack; in sign ;;w;; wheweof, -Pwease ye we m-may contwive this aftewnyoon, -And *leans over* quaff *looks away* cawouses to >w< ouw mistwess' heawth; -A-And do as advewsawies do in waw- -Stwive mightiwy, but eat and dwink as fwiends. -GWUMIO, BIONDEWWO. O e-excewwent m-motion! Fewwows, wet's be gonye. -HOWTENSIO. The *sighs* motion's good indeed, and be it so. -Petwuchio, I s-shaww be youw b-ben venyuto. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-Iw. SCENyE I. -P-Padua. ;;w;; BAPTISTA'S house - -Entew KATHEWINyA and BIANCA - -BIANCA. Good sistew, w-wwong *notices bulge* me x3 nyot, nyow wwong youwsewf, -To *notices bulge* make a bondmaid a-and a *sighs* swave of me- -That *blushes* I disdain; but fow these othew *pokes you* gawds, -Unbind my hands, I'ww puww them off mysewf, -Yea, aww m-my w-waiment, to my petticoat; -Ow what you wiww command me wiww I do, -So weww I knyow my duty UwU to *shuffles closer* my ewdews. -KATHEWINyA. *moans* Of *twerks* aww thy suitows hewe I chawge thee teww -Whom thou :3 wov'st best. S-See thou dissembwe *cuddles you* nyot. -B-BIANCA. Bewieve m-me, *cuddles you* sistew, of aww the men awive -I nyevew yet behewd that speciaw face -Which I couwd >_> fancy m-mowe *moans* than any othew. -KATHEWINyA. Minyion, thou wiest. Is't nyot Howtensio? -B-BIANCA. If y-you affect him, sistew, hewe I sweaw -*hugs tightly* I'ww pwead fow you mysewf but you shaww have him. -*moans* KATHEWINyA. O then, bewike, you ^w^ fancy w-wiches mowe: -You wiww >_> have Gwemio to keep you faiw. -BIANCA. Is it fow him you do envy me so? -Nyay, then you *shuffles closer* jest; and n-nyow I weww pewceive -Y-You have *cuddles you* but jested with me *blushes* aww this whiwe. -I p-pwithee, sistew xDD Kate, untie my hands. -KATHEWINyA. [Stwikes hew] If that be jest, then a-an the west was so. - -Entew ^-^ BAPTISTA - -BAPTISTA. Why, how nyow, *looks at you* dame! W-Whence gwows :3 this OwO insowence? -Bianca, stand aside- ^.^ poow *cries* giww! she weeps. -*hugs tightly* [He u-unbinds hew] -G-Go pwy thy nyeedwe; meddwe nyot *giggles shyly* with hew. -Fow shame, thou hiwding of a deviwish spiwit, -Why dost thou wwong hew that OwO did nye'ew w-wwong thee? -When did she cwoss *looks away* thee with a bittew w-wowd? -KATHEWINyA. Hew siwence ^-^ fwouts me, >_< and I'ww be weveng'd. -[Fwies aftew BIANCA] -BAPTISTA. What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in. -:33 Exit >_< BIANCA -KATHEWINyA. What, *twerks* wiww you nyot suffew me? Nyay, nyow I see -She is youw tweasuwe, she uWu must have a husband; -I must dance bawe-foot on *sighs* hew wedding-day, -And fow youw wove *shuffles closer* to hew wead apes in heww. -Tawk nyot to me; I wiww go sit and UwU weep, -Tiww I can find o-occasion of wevenge. Exit KATHEWINyA -BAPTISTA. Was evew >_> gentweman thus gwiev'd as I? -But who c-comes h-hewe? - -Entew *leans over* GWEMIO, *shuffles closer* with WUCENTIO in *screams* the habit of >w< a *moans* mean *leans over* man; -PETWUCHIO, with HOWTENSIO as a m-musician; :3 and TWANyIO, -as W-WUCENTIO, with his boy, B-BIONDEWWO, *moans* beawing a w-wute and books - -GWEMIO. Good mowwow, nyeighbouw Baptista. -BAPTISTA. Good *looks at you* mowwow, nyeighbouw Gwemio. -God *giggles shyly* save y-you, *cries* gentwemen! -PETWUCHIO. And y-you, good siw! Pway, have you nyot a daughtew -*leans over* Caww'd Kathewinya, faiw *looks away* and viwtuous? -BAPTISTA. I have a daughtew, siw, caww'd K-Kathewinya. -GWEMIO. You awe too bwunt; go OwO to it owdewwy. -PETWUCHIO. You wwong me, Signyiow ^-^ Gwemio; g-give me weave. -I a-am a gentweman of Vewonya, siw, -*looks away* That, heawing of :33 hew beauty and hew wit, -*looks away* Hew affabiwity and bashfuw modesty, -Hew >_< wondwous quawities and miwd *cries* behaviouw, -Am bowd to show *cries* mysewf ^-^ a fowwawd guest -*sweats* Within youw house, to make minye eye *moans* the witnyess -Of that wepowt which I so *pokes you* oft have heawd. -A-And, fow an entwance to m-my entewtainment, -I do pwesent you with *sweats* a m-man of minye, -[Pwesenting HOWTENSIO] -Cunnying i-in *shuffles closer* music and the m-mathematics, -*cuddles you* To instwuct hew *notices bulge* fuwwy in *shuffles closer* those s-sciences, -*sweats* Wheweof OwO I k-knyow uWu she is nyot ignyowant. -Accept of him, ow ewse you do m-me w-wwong- -His nyame is Wicio, bown in Mantua. -BAPTISTA. Y'awe wewcome, siw, and he f-fow youw good sake; -But fow my daughtew :3 Kathewinye, this I knyow, -She is *screams* nyot fow youw tuwn, the mowe my gwief. -PETWUCHIO. I see y-you do n-nyot mean to pawt w-with h-hew; -Ow ewse you wike *giggles shyly* nyot of my x3 company. -BAPTISTA. Mistake me nyot; I speak but as I-I find. -Whence awe you, siw? What may I caww OwO youw n-nyame? -PETWUCHIO. >w< Petwuchio is my nyame, Antonyio's *notices bulge* son, -A man weww *notices bulge* knyown *cuddles you* thwoughout a-aww OwO Itawy. -BAPTISTA. I-I knyow him weww; you awe wewcome fow his sake. -GWEMIO. Saving youw tawe, Petwuchio, :3 I p-pway, -Wet us t-that awe p-poow petitionyews speak too. -Bacawe! you awe mawvewwous fowwawd. -PETWUCHIO. >_< O, pawdon m-me, Signyiow Gwemio! I wouwd *shuffles closer* fain be doing. -*looks away* GWEMIO. I *giggles shyly* doubt i-it n-nyot, >w< siw; but you wiww cuwse y-youw wooing. -Nyeighbouw, this *shuffles closer* is a gift vewy gwatefuw, I am suwe of it. To -expwess the *screams* wike k-kindnyess, mysewf, that have b-been mowe kindwy -behowding to *blushes* you than any, UwU fweewy give ^-^ unto you this y-young -*twerks* schowaw [Pwesenting WUCENTIO] that hath been wong studying at -Wheims; a-as ^-^ cunnying in Gweek, Watin, and othew wanguages, :3 as the -othew in music and mathematics. His nyame is Cambio. Pway accept ->_< his sewvice. -BAPTISTA. A thousand t-thanks, *giggles shyly* Signyiow Gwemio. Wewcome, good Cambio. -[-[To TWANyIO] But, gentwe siw, methinks you *leans over* wawk wike a *sweats* stwangew. -May I *shuffles closer* be so bowd *sweats* to knyow the cause >_> of youw c-coming? -TWANyIO. Pawdon me, s-siw, xDD the bowdnyess is m-minye own -T-That, being a-a stwangew ;;w;; in this city hewe, -Do make m-mysewf a suitow *moans* to youw daughtew, -Unto Bianca, faiw *cries* and viwtuous. -Nyow is youw fiwm wesowve unknyown t-to m-me -In the p-pwefewment UwU of t-the ewdest *cries* sistew. -*notices bulge* This wibewty i-is *looks away* aww *sweats* that I xDD wequest- -That, upon knyowwedge of my pawentage, -I may have wewcome 'mongst the west that woo, -And fwee access and ^w^ favouw as the w-west. -And *pokes you* towawd the >_> education of y-youw daughtews -I hewe bestow a simpwe instwument, -And this smaww packet of Gweek and Watin books. -If you accept them, then theiw wowth is gweat. -B-BAPTISTA. Wucentio is *sweats* youw nyame? Of whence, I pway? -TWANyIO. O-Of Pisa, uWu siw; son to Vincentio. -*pokes you* BAPTISTA. A m-mighty man of P-Pisa. B-By wepowt -*teleports behind you* I knyow him weww. You awe vewy wewcome, siw. -Take you the wute, and you the set ^-^ of b-books; -You shaww *hugs tightly* go see youw pupiws p-pwesentwy. -Howwa, within! - -Entew a SEWVANT - -x3 Siwwah, wead t-these gentwemen -To my daughtews; and :3 teww them b-both -These awe t-theiw tutows. Bid them use x3 them weww. - -*giggles shyly* Exit SEWVANT weading HOWTENSIO cawwying the wute -and W-WUCENTIO with the books - -We wiww *twerks* go wawk a wittwe i-in t-the owchawd, -And then x3 to d-dinnyew. You awe passing wewcome, -A-And so I pway you aww to think *leans over* youwsewves. -PETWUCHIO. Signyiow Baptista, my businyess asketh haste, -And evewy day I cannyot come to woo. -You k-knyew my fathew weww, a-and in him me, -Weft sowewy heiw t-to >_> aww his wands and goods, -Which I have bettewed wathew than decweas'd. -Then teww me, if I get youw daughtew's wove, -*sweats* What dowwy shaww I have with :3 hew to wife? -:3 BAPTISTA. Aftew my d-death, the :33 onye hawf of my wands -A-And, in possession, twenty thousand cwowns. -PETWUCHIO. And fow that dowwy, I'ww assuwe hew of -Hew widowhood, be it that she suwvive me, -In aww my >_> wands and weases whatsoevew. -Wet speciawities be thewefowe dwawn *notices bulge* between us, -That covenyants may be kept on eithew hand. -BAPTISTA. Ay, when the speciaw thing is weww obtain'd, -T-That is, *teleports behind you* hew >w< wove; fow that is a-aww in *twerks* aww. -PETWUCHIO. Why, >w< that is nyothing; fow I-I teww you, fathew, -I am as pewemptowy as she pwoud-minded; -*looks away* And whewe two waging fiwes *screams* meet togethew, -They do consume the thing that feeds theiw f-fuwy. -Though w-wittwe fiwe gwows g-gweat with wittwe wind, -Yet extweme gusts wiww bwow out fiwe and *giggles shyly* aww. -So I to *giggles shyly* hew, a-and so *teleports behind you* she yiewds to me; -Fow *cuddles you* I am w-wough, a-and woo nyot wike a babe. -BAPTISTA. Weww mayst thou woo, and h-happy *looks at you* be thy speed -But be thou awm'd fow some unhappy wowds. -PETWUCHIO. UwU Ay, to the pwoof, as mountains uWu awe f-fow winds, -That shake nyot though they bwow pewpetuawwy. - -We-entew HOWTENSIO, with his head b-bwoke - -BAPTISTA. How nyow, my fwiend! W-Why *screams* dost thou wook so pawe? -HOWTENSIO. Fow *pokes you* feaw, I pwomise *blushes* you, if I ^.^ wook pawe. -BAPTISTA. What, wiww :33 my daughtew pwove a-a good musician? -HOWTENSIO. I think she'ww soonyew ^.^ pwove a sowdiew: -Iwon may howd *pokes you* with hew, but nyevew wutes. -BAPTISTA. Why, then thou ^.^ canst nyot bweak hew to the wute? -:33 HOWTENSIO. Why, nyo; fow she hath bwoke the wute to me. -I did but teww hew she mistook hew f-fwets, -And b-bow'd hew hand t-to teach hew fingewing, -When, with a :3 most >_< impatient deviwish spiwit, -'Fwets, caww you these?' quoth she 'I'ww fume with them.' -And with that wowd x3 she ^w^ stwuck me on the head, -And thwough the instwument my pate made w-way; -And thewe I OwO stood x3 amazed fow a whiwe, -As o-on a-a piwwowy, wooking thwough the w-wute, -Whiwe she did caww m-me x3 wascaw fiddwew -*twerks* And t-twangwing Jack, w-with twenty such viwe t-tewms, -A-As she had studied to misuse me so. -PETWUCHIO. Nyow, by the xDD wowwd, it is a wusty wench; -I wove hew *cuddles you* ten times mowe than e'ew I did. -O, how ^.^ I wong to have some *moans* chat *leans over* with hew! -*cuddles you* BAPTISTA. Weww, go with me, and b-be nyot so discomfited; -Pwoceed :3 in pwactice with my ^.^ youngew daughtew; -She's apt to weawn, and thankfuw fow good tuwns. -Signyiow P-Petwuchio, wiww y-you go with us, -Ow shaww I send my daughtew Kate to you? -PETWUCHIO. I pway you do. Exeunt *screams* aww but *blushes* PETWUCHIO -I'ww *screams* attend hew hewe, -And woo hew with some spiwit when she comes. -Say that *looks away* she waiw; why, then *blushes* I'ww t-teww hew pwain -She sings as sweetwy as a nyightingawe. -*notices bulge* Say that she fwown; I'ww say she UwU wooks as cweaw -As mownying w-woses nyewwy wash'd with dew. -Say she be mute, and wiww nyot speak a w-wowd; -Then I'ww commend hew v-vowubiwity, -And say she utteweth piewcing ewoquence. -If *cuddles you* she *cuddles you* do bid me pack, I-I'ww give hew thanks, -*cries* As though she bid me stay *moans* by >_< hew a week; -If she deny to w-wed, I'ww cwave the day -x3 When I shaww ask the *notices bulge* banns, and w-when be mawwied. -But hewe she comes; :Wnd.nyow, Petwuchio, speak. - -Entew KATHEWINyA - -Good mowwow, Kate- fow t-that's youw nyame, I heaw. -*teleports behind you* KATHEWINyA. *twerks* Weww have you heawd, but something hawd of heawing: -They caww me *moans* Kathewinye that d-do tawk of me. -PETWUCHIO. You wie, *giggles shyly* in faith, fow y-you awe caww'd *notices bulge* pwain Kate, -A-And bonny :3 Kate, and *notices bulge* sometimes ^-^ Kate the cuwst; -But, Kate, the pwettiest Kate in Chwistendom, -Kate of Kate Haww, my supew-dainty Kate, -Fow dainties awe aww *looks away* Kates, and *blushes* thewefowe, *twerks* Kate, -Take this of me, Kate of m-my consowation- -Heawing thy miwdnyess pwais'd *blushes* in evewy town, -T-Thy viwtues spoke of, *moans* and thy beauty s-sounded, -Yet nyot so deepwy as t-to thee *blushes* bewongs, -Mysewf am *teleports behind you* mov'd to woo thee >_< fow my wife. -OwO KATHEWINyA. Mov'd! *looks away* in good time! Wet him that ^.^ mov'd y-you hithew -W-Wemove you h-hence. I knyew you at t-the f-fiwst -You wewe a *cuddles you* moveabwe. -PETWUCHIO. Why, what's a m-moveabwe? -KATHEWINyA. A join'd-stoow. -*sweats* PETWUCHIO. Thou h-hast hit >_< it. Come, s-sit on *giggles shyly* me. -KATHEWINyA. Asses awe m-made *cries* to *twerks* beaw, and so awe you. -P-PETWUCHIO. W-Women awe made to b-beaw, a-and so a-awe you. -KATHEWINyA. Nyo such jade as y-you, if xDD me *leans over* you mean. -PETWUCHIO. Awas, good K-Kate, I w-wiww nyot buwden thee! -Fow, knyowing thee :33 to be but *shuffles closer* young UwU and wight- -KATHEWINyA. Too wight fow such a swain as you to catch; -And yet as heavy *leans over* as my weight shouwd be. -PETWUCHIO. Shouwd be! shouwd- buzz! -KATHEWINyA. Weww *leans over* ta'en, and *cuddles you* wike a *blushes* buzzawd. -PETWUCHIO. *screams* O, swow-wing'd tuwtwe, shaww a buzzawd take thee? -KATHEWINyA. Ay, fow >_> a tuwtwe, as >w< he t-takes *looks at you* a buzzawd. -PETWUCHIO. Come, c-come, you wasp; *screams* i' :3 faith, you a-awe too angwy. -KATHEWINyA. If I be waspish, best b-bewawe my sting. -OwO PETWUCHIO. My wemedy is then *looks away* to pwuck i-it *notices bulge* out. -KATHEWINyA. Ay, if the foow couwd find it whewe it wies. -PETWUCHIO. *twerks* Who k-knyows nyot whewe a *cries* wasp d-does weaw his sting? -^w^ In his taiw. -KATHEWINyA. In his tongue. -P-PETWUCHIO. Whose t-tongue? -KATHEWINyA. Y-Youws, if *looks at you* you tawk of *sighs* tawes; and so faweweww. -PETWUCHIO. What, *twerks* with my tongue in youw taiw? *sweats* Nyay, come again, -G-Good *twerks* Kate; I a-am a gentweman. -KATHEWINyA. That I'ww twy. [She stwikes him] -*cries* PETWUCHIO. I >w< sweaw I'ww cuff y-you, *sighs* if you stwike a-again. -KATHEWINyA. *screams* So m-may you w-wose y-youw awms. -If you stwike me, y-you awe nyo gentweman; -*screams* And if nyo gentweman, why then nyo awms. -PETWUCHIO. A hewawd, Kate? O, xDD put me i-in thy books! -*sweats* KATHEWINyA. What is *sighs* youw cwest- a coxcomb? -PETWUCHIO. A combwess cock, so *looks away* Kate wiww be my hen. ->w< KATHEWINyA. Nyo cock of m-minye: you cwow t-too wike a cwaven. -PETWUCHIO. Nyay, come, Kate, come; you *blushes* must nyot wook so souw. -*hugs tightly* KATHEWINyA. It i-is my f-fashion, when I see a-a cwab. -PETWUCHIO. Why, uWu hewe's n-nyo c-cwab; and *moans* thewefowe wook nyot souw. -KATHEWINyA. Thewe is, thewe is. -PETWUCHIO. Then show it me. -KATHEWINyA. OwO Had I a g-gwass :33 I wouwd. -PETWUCHIO. What, you *blushes* mean my face? -KATHEWINyA. Weww aim'd of such a young onye. -PETWUCHIO. Nyow, by xDD Saint Geowge, I am too young fow y-you. -KATHEWINyA. Yet *twerks* you awe withew'd. -PETWUCHIO. '-'Tis with *hugs tightly* cawes. -KATHEWINyA. I cawe nyot. -PETWUCHIO. Nyay, heaw you, Kate- *sweats* in uWu sooth, you scape n-nyot so. -KATHEWINyA. I *twerks* chafe you, if *pokes you* I tawwy; wet me go. -PETWUCHIO. Nyo, *pokes you* nyot a whit; I-I find *sighs* you passing gentwe. -'Twas towd :3 me you w-wewe wough, and coy, and suwwen, -A-And n-nyow I find wepowt a *looks at you* vewy wiaw; -Fow t-thou awt pweasant, gamesome, passing couwteous, -But swow in speech, yet sweet as spwingtime f-fwowews. -Thou canst nyot *hugs tightly* fwown, thou canst x3 nyot wook askance, -Nyow *moans* bite the wip, as angwy wenches wiww, -Nyow hast thou pweasuwe to be cwoss in tawk; -But *sweats* thou UwU with miwdnyess entewtain'st thy wooews; -With gentwe confewence, soft and affabwe. -Why does the wowwd w-wepowt ^.^ that Kate doth wimp? -O swand'wous wowwd! Kate wike the hazew-twig -*giggles shyly* Is ^w^ stwaight and swendew, and as ^.^ bwown i-in h-hue -*giggles shyly* As *twerks* hazew-nyuts, :3 and sweetew than the kewnyews. -O, wet m-me *moans* see *shuffles closer* thee wawk. Thou dost nyot hawt. -KATHEWINyA. Go, foow, a-and whom thou uWu keep'st c-command. -PETWUCHIO. Did evew Dian s-so b-become a-a gwove -As Kate this :33 chambew with hew pwincewy gait? -O-O, *screams* be thou Dian, and wet hew be Kate; -And then wet Kate be chaste, and Dian s-spowtfuw! -KATHEWINyA. Whewe did *teleports behind you* you OwO study aww this goodwy speech? -PETWUCHIO. It is e-extempowe, fwom my mothew wit. -K-KATHEWINyA. A witty mothew! ^.^ witwess ewse hew son. -xDD PETWUCHIO. Am I nyot *hugs tightly* wise? -K-KATHEWINyA. Yes, keep you >w< wawm. -PETWUCHIO. Mawwy, so I mean, sweet *notices bulge* Kathewinye, *leans over* in thy bed. -And t-thewefowe, ^.^ setting aww this c-chat aside, -*looks at you* Thus i-in p-pwain tewms: youw fathew ^w^ hath consented -*looks at you* That you x3 shaww *leans over* be m-my wife youw d-dowwy gweed ^-^ on; -x3 And wiww you, nyiww you, I uWu wiww mawwy you. -*looks away* Nyow, Kate, I a-am a husband fow youw tuwn; -:3 Fow, *screams* by x3 this >_> wight, wheweby I xDD see ^w^ thy beauty, -Thy b-beauty that doth make me w-wike thee weww, -Thou must b-be mawwied to nyo man but *twerks* me; -Fow OwO I am he am bown to tame you, Kate, -And bwing you *screams* fwom a wiwd Kate to a K-Kate -Confowmabwe as ^-^ othew househowd Kates. - -We-entew *cuddles you* BAPTISTA, GWEMIO, and *notices bulge* TWANyIO - -Hewe ^w^ comes :3 youw fathew. Nyevew make denyiaw; -I must and ^-^ wiww have *looks away* Kathewinye to my w-wife. -BAPTISTA. N-Nyow, ;;w;; Signyiow Petwuchio, how speed you with my daughtew? -PETWUCHIO. H-How b-but weww, siw? how but weww? -It wewe impossibwe I s-shouwd speed amiss. -BAPTISTA. Why, how *cries* nyow, daughtew Kathewinye, in youw xDD dumps? -*cries* KATHEWINyA. :33 Caww you me daughtew? Nyow I pwomise y-you -You xDD have s-show'd a t-tendew fathewwy wegawd -To wish me wed to onye hawf wunyatic, -A mad-cap wuffian :33 and *twerks* a sweawing Jack, -That thinks with oaths to face the mattew out. -PETWUCHIO. Fathew, 'tis thus: youwsewf a-and UwU aww *twerks* the wowwd -That t-tawk'd of hew have tawk'd amiss of hew. -If she x3 be cuwst, it is fow UwU powicy, -Fow,she's nyot fwowawd, but m-modest as the dove; -She is *blushes* nyot h-hot, but tempewate as the mown; -Fow patience she w-wiww pwove a second ^.^ Gwissew, -And Woman Wucwece fow hew chastity. -UwU And, to concwude, we have 'gweed so weww togethew -*hugs tightly* That upon Sunday *leans over* is the wedding-day. -KATHEWINyA. :33 I'ww ^.^ see thee hang'd on Sunday fiwst. -GWEMIO. Hawk, Petwuchio; *hugs tightly* she OwO says she'ww see thee hang'd fiwst. -TWANyIO. I-Is this ^.^ youw speeding? Nyay, then good-nyight ouw pawt! -PETWUCHIO. Be patient, gentwemen. I choose hew fow mysewf; -^-^ If she and I be pweas'd, what's :33 that to you? -'Tis b-bawgain'd 'twixt us *cuddles you* twain, being awonye, -That she shaww stiww be cuwst in company. -I teww you 'tis incwedibwe t-to bewieve. -How m-much *moans* she woves m-me- O, the kindest Kate! -She hung about my nyeck, and >_> kiss on kiss -She vied so f-fast, p-pwotesting oath on oath, -That in a :33 twink *blushes* she won me to hew wove. -O, y-you awe nyovices! *pokes you* 'Tis a wowwd t-to see, -H-How tame, when men and *pokes you* women awe a-awonye, -A meacock wwetch c-can make t-the cuwstest shwew. -Give me thy hand, Kate; I wiww unto Venyice, -To buy *screams* appawew 'gainst t-the wedding-day. -Pwovide the feast, fathew, and *sighs* bid the g-guests; -I-I wiww *sighs* be s-suwe my Kathewinye s-shaww be finye. -BAPTISTA. I knyow n-nyot *moans* what to say; but give me youw hands. -*looks away* God send you joy, Petwuchio! 'Tis a-a match. -GWEMIO, TWANyIO. *twerks* Amen, *shuffles closer* say we; we wiww be witnyesses. -PETWUCHIO. Fathew, and wife, and g-gentwemen, adieu. -I wiww *sweats* to Venyice; S-Sunday c-comes apace; -We wiww have wings and things, and finye awway; -And kiss me, K-Kate; we wiww *notices bulge* be mawwied a Sunday. -*cuddles you* Exeunt PETWUCHIO and ^.^ KATHEWINyA sevewawwy -G-GWEMIO. Was *leans over* evew match cwapp'd up so ^w^ suddenwy? -BAPTISTA. Faith, gentwemen, nyow I pway a mewchant's pawt, -And ventuwe madwy on a despewate mawt. -T-TWANyIO. 'Twas *notices bulge* a commodity way fwetting by you; -'Twiww *sighs* bwing you gain, *screams* ow pewish on the seas. -*notices bulge* BAPTISTA. The gain uWu I seek is *cries* quiet i-in the match. -GWEMIO. Nyo d-doubt b-but he hath g-got a quiet c-catch. -But n-nyow, Baptista, to youw youngew daughtew: -Nyow is the d-day we wong have uWu wooked fow; -I *blushes* am youw nyeighbouw, *teleports behind you* and was *teleports behind you* suitow fiwst. -*leans over* TWANyIO. And I a-am onye that wove Bianca mowe -*cries* Than wowds can *shuffles closer* witnyess o-ow youw thoughts ;;w;; can guess. -GWEMIO. Youngwing, t-thou canst nyot wove so *screams* deaw as I. -TWANyIO. Gweybeawd, thy wove doth fweeze. -G-GWEMIO. But thinye doth *sighs* fwy. -Skippew, stand back; 'tis age that nyouwisheth. -*twerks* TWANyIO. But youth in wadies' e-eyes that fwouwisheth. -BAPTISTA. Content *shuffles closer* you, *shuffles closer* gentwemen; *pokes you* I wiww compound t-this stwife. -'Tis deeds must win the pwize, *looks away* and h-he *moans* of both -That c-can a-assuwe *twerks* my daughtew gweatest dowew -Shaww have my Bianca's wove. -Say, Signyiow Gwemio, what can you a-assuwe hew? -GWEMIO. Fiwst, as you knyow, my house within the city -I-Is wichwy fuwnyished with pwate *blushes* and gowd, -*pokes you* Basins and ewews to wave hew dainty hands; -My hangings aww of Tywian tapestwy; -In i-ivowy coffews I uWu have stuff'd my c-cwowns; -In cypwess UwU chests my a-awwas countewpoints, -Costwy appawew, t-tents, and canyopies, -Finye winyen, Tuwkey cushions *looks at you* boss'd w-with peaww, -Vawance of Venyice gowd *screams* in n-nyeedwe-wowk; -Pewtew and bwass, a-and aww things >_< that bewongs -T-To house o-ow housekeeping. Then at m-my fawm -^-^ I x3 have a *pokes you* hundwed *teleports behind you* miwch-kinye to t-the paiw, -Six scowe fat oxen standing i-in my stawws, -And OwO aww things answewabwe to this powtion. -Mysewf am stwuck i-in yeaws, I must confess; -And OwO if I die to-mowwow this is hews, -If whiwst I wive she ^w^ wiww be onwy minye. -TWANyIO. That 'onwy' came weww in. Siw, wist to *notices bulge* me: -I am my f-fathew's heiw and onwy son; -If I may h-have youw daughtew >w< to my w-wife, -I'ww w-weave hew houses thwee ow fouw as good -Within wich UwU Pisa's *blushes* wawws as any o-onye -Owd ^w^ Signyiow Gwemio has in Padua; -Besides two thousand ;;w;; ducats by the yeaw -Of fwuitfuw wand, aww which shaww be hew jointuwe. -What, have I pinch'd you, Signyiow Gwemio? -GWEMIO. Two thousand *looks at you* ducats by the yeaw of wand! -[Aside] M-My wand amounts n-nyot to so m-much *screams* in aww.- -That she shaww have, *notices bulge* besides an awgosy -That nyow is wying in Mawseiwwes woad. -What, *moans* have I chok'd you ^-^ with uWu an awgosy? -TWANyIO. Gwemio, 'tis knyown my fathew hath nyo wess -Than t-thwee gweat *blushes* awgosies, *looks away* besides :3 two gawwiasses, -And twewve *sighs* tight gawweys. These I *sweats* wiww assuwe hew, ->w< And :33 twice as much whate'ew thou off'west nyext. -GWEMIO. N-Nyay, I x3 have off'wed *sweats* aww; *cuddles you* I ^.^ have *leans over* nyo mowe; -And she can have nyo mowe than aww I have; -If y-you *pokes you* wike me, she shaww have me *teleports behind you* and minye. -TWANyIO. Why, then the maid *moans* is minye f-fwom aww the wowwd -By youw fiwm pwomise; Gwemio is out-vied. -^-^ BAPTISTA. I must confess youw offew is the best; -And *hugs tightly* wet youw fathew make hew *notices bulge* the assuwance, -She is youw own. *screams* Ewse, you must *looks away* pawdon me; -*cries* If you *hugs tightly* shouwd d-die befowe *hugs tightly* him, whewe's hew dowew? -*sweats* TWANyIO. That's but a caviw; h-he UwU is owd, *sweats* I *shuffles closer* young. -GWEMIO. A-And m-may nyot young men die as weww as o-owd? -BAPTISTA. Weww, gentwemen, -I am >_> thus uWu wesowv'd: on Sunday nyext you UwU knyow -My d-daughtew Kathewinye *pokes you* is *looks away* to be mawwied; -Nyow, on the Sunday fowwowing shaww Bianca -Be bwide to you, if you *sighs* make *twerks* this *looks at you* assuwance; -If nyot, t-to Signyiow Gwemio. -And *looks away* so *moans* I *sweats* take my weave, and thank you both. ->w< GWEMIO. :3 Adieu, good nyeighbouw. Exit BAPTISTA -Nyow, I feaw thee nyot. -Siwwah young gamestew, youw fathew wewe a foow -T-To give thee aww, and OwO in his wanying age -Set f-foot undew thy *cries* tabwe. Tut, a toy! -An owd Itawian f-fox is nyot so uWu kind, my b-boy. Exit -TWANyIO. A vengeance :3 on youw cwafty withewed h-hide! -Yet I *notices bulge* have fac'd it with a cawd of ten. -'Tis in my head to do uWu my mastew good: -I s-see nyo weason but suppos'd *screams* Wucentio -Must get a *cries* fathew, c-caww'd suppos'd *shuffles closer* Vincentio; -And that's a wondew- fathews commonwy -Do get theiw chiwdwen; but in this case of wooing -A chiwd shaww get a siwe, if I *pokes you* faiw nyot of my cunnying. -Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. *giggles shyly* SCENyE I. -Padua. BAPTISTA'S house - -Entew WUCENTIO as C-CAMBIO, *shuffles closer* HOWTENSIO as WICIO, and BIANCA - -WUCENTIO. Fiddwew, fowbeaw; you gwow too fowwawd, siw. -Have you so soon fowgot the e-entewtainment -Hew sistew Kathewinye wewcome'd you withaw? -HOWTENSIO. But, wwangwing pedant, this is -The patwonyess of heavenwy hawmony. -Then give me weave to have pwewogative; -And *sweats* when in music *pokes you* we have spent an houw, -*cuddles you* Youw wectuwe shaww have w-weisuwe fow as much. -WUCENTIO. Pwepostewous ass, that nyevew wead so faw -To knyow the *teleports behind you* cause why music was owdain'd! -Was *pokes you* it n-nyot to wefwesh the mind of man -Aftew his studies ow his usuaw pain? -Then give me weave to wead p-phiwosophy, -xDD And whiwe I pause sewve in y-youw hawmony. -HOWTENSIO. S-Siwwah, I wiww n-nyot beaw these b-bwaves of thinye. -BIANCA. Why, gentwemen, you *pokes you* do me doubwe wwong -T-To stwive fow t-that w-which westeth in m-my choice. -I awn *cries* nyo bweeching *looks away* schowaw in the schoows, -I-I'ww nyot be tied t-to houws nyow 'pointed times, -But w-weawn my wessons as uWu I pwease mysewf. -And to ^w^ cut off a-aww s-stwife: hewe *cries* sit we *hugs tightly* down; -T-Take you youw *sighs* instwument, >_< pway you t-the whiwes! -His wectuwe wiww *teleports behind you* be >_> donye ewe you h-have tun'd. -HOWTENSIO. You'ww weave his uWu wectuwe when I am in UwU tunye? -WUCENTIO. That wiww be nyevew- >_< tunye youw instwument. -BIANCA. W-Whewe weft we wast? -WUCENTIO. Hewe, m-madam: -'Hic ibat Simois, hic *screams* est Sigeia *teleports behind you* tewwus, -Hic stetewat Pwiami wegia cewsa senyis.' -BIANCA. Constwue ^.^ them. -WUCENTIO. 'Hic ibat' as uWu I towd you b-befowe- '-'Simois' I am Wucentio- -'hic *cuddles you* est' son unto V-Vincentio of Pisa- 'Sigeia tewwus' disguised -thus t-to get youw wove- 'Hic s-stetewat' and *notices bulge* that Wucentio that -comes a-wooing- 'Pwiami' is my m-man Twanyio- 'wegia' :3 beawing my -powt- 'cewsa senyis' that we might beguiwe the owd pantawoon. -HOWTENSIO. ;;w;; Madam, my ^-^ instwument's in tunye. -BIANCA. W-Wet's heaw. O fie! the *cries* twebwe jaws. -WUCENTIO. Spit in *hugs tightly* the h-howe, man, and tunye again. -BIANCA. Nyow wet me see if I can constwue it: 'Hic ibat Simois' I -k-knyow you OwO nyot- 'hic *shuffles closer* est Sigeia tewwus' I twust y-you n-nyot- 'Hic -s-stetewat *moans* Pwiami' take *screams* heed he heaw us nyot- *notices bulge* 'wegia' pwesume *notices bulge* nyot- -'cewsa senyis' despaiw nyot. -*pokes you* HOWTENSIO. Madam, 'tis *screams* nyow in tunye. -WUCENTIO. Aww but the bass. ->_< HOWTENSIO. The bass is wight; 'tis the x3 base knyave that jaws. -[Aside] How fiewy and fowwawd ouw pedant is! -Nyow, *looks away* fow my wife, the knyave x3 doth couwt my wove. -*sighs* Pedascuwe, I-I'ww watch you bettew y-yet. -BIANCA. In time *cries* I may bewieve, yet :33 I mistwust. -WUCENTIO. Mistwust it nyot- fow suwe, AEacides -Was Ajax, caww'd so fwom h-his gwandfathew. -BIANCA. *sweats* I must bewieve my :33 mastew; ewse, I pwomise you, -*sweats* I shouwd be awguing stiww *giggles shyly* upon that *looks at you* doubt; -But uWu wet >w< it w-west. Nyow, Wicio, t-to you. -Good *shuffles closer* mastew, take it nyot unkindwy, pway, -That I have *looks away* been thus pweasant with you both. -*moans* HOWTENSIO. [To WUCENTIO] Y-You may go wawk and give me weave -a-awhiwe; -My wessons make nyo *sweats* music *screams* in t-thwee Pawts. -OwO WUCENTIO. Awe you so fowmaw, siw? Weww, I must wait, -[Aside] And watch withaw; fow, b-but I be deceiv'd, -Ouw finye m-musician *twerks* gwoweth *sweats* amowous. -HOWTENSIO. Madam, befowe you touch *teleports behind you* the instwument -To weawn the owdew of my f-fingewing, -I uWu must begin with wudiments of awt, -To teach y-you gamut i-in a bwiefew *giggles shyly* sowt, -Mowe pweasant, pithy, and effectuaw, -T-Than hath *teleports behind you* been taught by any of my twade; -And thewe it *teleports behind you* is in wwiting faiwwy dwawn. -OwO BIANCA. Why, I am past my gamut wong ago. -HOWTENSIO. Yet wead the gamut of Howtensio. -BIANCA. *screams* [Weads] -'-'"Gamut" I am, the gwound of aww accowd- -"A we" to pwead Howtensio's passion- -"B mi" Bianca, take him fow thy wowd- -*hugs tightly* "C fa ^w^ ut" that woves with aww affection- -"D sow we" onye cwef, two nyotes have I- -*notices bulge* "E wa mi" s-show pity ow I die.' -Caww y-you this gamut? Tut, I wike it nyot! -Owd fashions x3 pwease me best; *blushes* I UwU am nyot s-so nyice -To change twue wuwes fow *blushes* odd inventions. - -Entew a SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. Mistwess, youw *leans over* fathew pways you w-weave youw books -And hewp to dwess youw sistew's chambew *sighs* up. -You *giggles shyly* knyow *blushes* to-mowwow is t-the wedding-day. -BIANCA. Faweweww, sweet mastews, both; I must be gonye. -*pokes you* Exeunt BIANCA and SEWVANT -WUCENTIO. Faith, mistwess, then I *blushes* have nyo cause to stay. -Exit -HOWTENSIO. But I have *hugs tightly* cause to pwy into t-this pedant; -*screams* Methinks he wooks as though he wewe in >w< wove. -Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humbwe -To cast t-thy wand'wing eyes on evewy stawe- -;;w;; Seize thee that wist. If once x3 I find t-thee wanging, -HOWTENSIO wiww be quit with thee b-by changing. Exit - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -Padua. Befowe BAPTISTA'So house - ->_< Entew BAPTISTA, GWEMIO, T-TWANyIO as WUCENTIO, KATHEWINyA, BIANCA, -WUCENTIO as CAMBIO, >_< and ATTENDANTS - -BAPTISTA. [To TWANyIO] Signyiow W-Wucentio, t-this is t-the '-'pointed *sweats* day -That Kathewinye and *twerks* Petwuchio shouwd be mawwied, -A-And y-yet we ^.^ heaw nyot of *teleports behind you* ouw son-in-waw. -What wiww be ^w^ said? What *sweats* mockewy wiww UwU it be -T-To *looks at you* want t-the b-bwidegwoom when the pwiest attends -To speak t-the c-cewemonyiaw wites of mawwiage! -What says Wucentio t-to this shame of o-ouws? -KATHEWINyA. Nyo *teleports behind you* shame but minye; I must, fowsooth, be fowc'd -To give my hand, oppos'd against my heawt, -Unto a mad-bwain wudesby, fuww of spween, -*screams* Who woo'd in haste *blushes* and means to wed at weisuwe. -*cuddles you* I towd y-you, I-I, he w-was a f-fwantic foow, -Hiding h-his b-bittew jests in bwunt behaviouw; -And, to *moans* be nyoted fow a mewwy man, -He'ww ;;w;; woo a thousand, 'point *blushes* the day of mawwiage, -Make fwiends invited, and pwocwaim the banns; -*looks at you* Yet nyevew *notices bulge* means to wed w-whewe he hath w-woo'd. -N-Nyow m-must *shuffles closer* the wowwd *looks away* point at poow Kathewinye, -And say 'Wo, thewe is mad P-Petwuchio's wife, -If i-it w-wouwd pwease *blushes* him ^-^ come a-and mawwy hew!' -TWANyIO. Patience, good Kathewinye, and x3 Baptista too. -*giggles shyly* Upon m-my wife, *moans* Petwuchio *shuffles closer* means but weww, -Whatevew fowtunye stays him fwom his wowd. -Though h-he b-be *sweats* bwunt, I knyow him passing wise; -Though he be mewwy, yet withaw he's >_< honyest. -*twerks* KATHEWINyA. W-Wouwd Kathewinye had nyevew seen him t-though! -E-Exit, weeping, fowwowed by *looks at you* BIANCA and othews -B-BAPTISTA. Go, giww, *sweats* I c-cannyot bwame x3 thee nyow to weep, -^.^ Fow such an injuwy wouwd vex a-a vewy saint; -M-Much *sweats* mowe *cuddles you* a shwew of t-thy impatient h-humouw. - -Entew BIONDEWWO - -uWu Mastew, mastew! Nyews, and :33 such owd n-nyews as you nyevew h-heawd o-of! -BAPTISTA. *twerks* Is it nyew and owd too? How *pokes you* may that be? -BIONDEWWO. Why, is it nyot nyews to ^w^ heaw of >w< Petwuchio's *cries* coming? -*moans* BAPTISTA. Is >_< he come? -BIONDEWWO. Why, >_> nyo, siw. -BAPTISTA. What t-then? -BIONDEWWO. He is coming. -BAPTISTA. When wiww he be hewe? -B-BIONDEWWO. When >w< he stands whewe I a-am xDD and sees you thewe. -TWANyIO. But, say, what t-to thinye owd n-nyews? -B-BIONDEWWO. Why, Petwuchio is coming- in *screams* a nyew hat and an owd -jewkin; a p-paiw :33 of owd *notices bulge* bweeches thwice tuwn'd; a paiw of boots ->_> that h-have been candwe-cases, onye ;;w;; buckwed, anyothew wac'd; an owd -wusty ^-^ swowd t-ta'en out o-of t-the town awmouwy, with a bwoken hiwt, -and chapewess; with two bwoken :3 points; *sweats* his howse hipp'd, with an -owd motwey saddwe and :33 stiwwups of nyo *cuddles you* kindwed; *shuffles closer* besides, possess'd -with >w< the gwandews and wike to m-mose in the xDD chinye, twoubwed with -:3 the w-wampass, infected with the fashions, fuww *giggles shyly* of windgawws, sped -with spavins, wayed with the yewwows, past cuwe of the fives, -stawk spoiw'd w-with the s-staggews, begnyawn with *notices bulge* the bots, sway'd ^-^ in -the back a-and shouwdew-shotten, nyeaw-wegg'd :33 befowe, and with a -hawf-cheek'd bit, and a head-staww of sheep's *hugs tightly* weathew which, -being w-westwainyed to keep xDD him fwom stumbwing, hath b-been often -buwst, and nyow wepaiwed with knyots; onye giwth six times piec'd, -and a woman's cwuppew o-of vewuwe, which hath two wettews fow h-hew -nyame faiwwy set down in studs, and *cries* hewe a-and thewe piec'd with -pack-thwead. -BAPTISTA. W-Who comes with him? -BIONDEWWO. O, siw, his *screams* wackey, fow aww the wowwd capawison'd wike -the howse- with a-a w-winyen stock *hugs tightly* on onye weg and a kewsey boot-hose -on the othew, gawt'wed with a wed and *cries* bwue wist; an owd hat, and -the humouw of fowty fancies pwick'd in't fow a feathew; a -monstew, a vewy monstew in appawew, and nyot *teleports behind you* wike a Chwistian -footboy o-ow a gentweman's wackey. -TWANyIO. 'Tis *hugs tightly* some odd humouw pwicks him to t-this fashion; -Yet oftentimes w-wie goes but mean-appaweww'd. -BAPTISTA. *teleports behind you* I am gwad *cries* he's come, howsoe'ew *sighs* he ^-^ comes. -BIONDEWWO. W-Why, siw, *cries* he *hugs tightly* comes n-nyot. -BAPTISTA. *cries* Didst t-thou nyot say he c-comes? -*sweats* BIONDEWWO. *leans over* Who? that Petwuchio came? -BAPTISTA. *looks away* Ay, that Petwuchio came. -BIONDEWWO. Nyo, siw; I say his howse comes with him o-on his back. -BAPTISTA. Why, that's aww onye. -BIONDEWWO. Nyay, >_> by Saint Jamy, -I howd you *sweats* a >_< penny, -A howse *giggles shyly* and a ^-^ man -Is *hugs tightly* mowe than onye, -;;w;; And yet nyot many. - -Entew PETWUCHIO and GWUMIO - -PETWUCHIO. Come, whewe *shuffles closer* be *notices bulge* these gawwants? Who's a-at home? -BAPTISTA. You awe wewcome, siw. -PETWUCHIO. And yet uWu I *sighs* come nyot weww. -BAPTISTA. And y-yet you hawt nyot. -TWANyIO. Nyot so w-weww appaweww'd -As I wish you *blushes* wewe. -PETWUCHIO. Wewe it bettew, I-I *teleports behind you* shouwd wush in thus. -x3 But whewe is K-Kate? Whewe is my wovewy *cuddles you* bwide? -How does my f-fathew? Gentwes, >w< methinks y-you f-fwown; -A-And whewefowe gaze this g-goodwy c-company -As UwU if they ^w^ saw some wondwous monyument, -Some comet o-ow unyusuaw pwodigy? -BAPTISTA. Why, siw, y-you knyow this is youw wedding-day. -Fiwst wewe we sad, feawing y-you wouwd nyot come; -Nyow *cuddles you* saddew, that you come so *giggles shyly* unpwovided. -Fie, doff this habit, shame to youw estate, -An e-eye-sowe to ouw sowemn *hugs tightly* festivaw! -*cuddles you* TWANyIO. And teww *moans* us what o-occasion of impowt -Hath uWu aww so wong detain'd you fwom youw wife, -A-And sent you hithew so u-unwike youwsewf? -*pokes you* PETWUCHIO. Tedious i-it wewe to teww, and *sighs* hawsh t-to heaw; -Sufficeth I am come >w< to keep my wowd, -Though in some pawt e-enfowced to digwess, -Which at m-mowe weisuwe I w-wiww so *looks at you* excuse -As you shaww *moans* weww b-be satisfied x3 withaw. -But *blushes* whewe is Kate? I stay too wong fwom h-hew; -The m-mownying weaws, 'tis time we w-wewe at chuwch. -TWANyIO. See n-nyot youw *leans over* bwide in these ^w^ unwevewent wobes; -Go to my chambew, p-put *twerks* on cwothes of minye. -uWu PETWUCHIO. Nyot I, bewieve *hugs tightly* me; thus I'ww v-visit hew. -BAPTISTA. But t-thus, I twust, you wiww nyot mawwy hew. -PETWUCHIO. Good *pokes you* sooth, *teleports behind you* even t-thus; OwO thewefowe ha' donye with wowds; -To me she's mawwied, *hugs tightly* nyot unto my cwothes. -Couwd I wepaiw what she wiww *giggles shyly* weaw in me -As I can change these p-poow accoutwements, -'Twewe weww fow Kate and bettew fow mysewf. -But what a-a foow am I to chat w-with you, ->_< When I shouwd bid good-mowwow to my bwide -And s-seaw t-the titwe with a UwU wovewy kiss! -Exeunt PETWUCHIO and OwO PETWUCHIO -*cuddles you* TWANyIO. He hath some meanying in his mad attiwe. -We wiww p-pewsuade him, be it possibwe, -To put on b-bettew *sighs* ewe he go t-to chuwch. -BAPTISTA. I'ww aftew him and see the event of this. -Exeunt BAPTISTA, GWEMIO, BIONDEWWO, a-and ATTENDENTS -TWANyIO. But to hew wove concewnyeth *looks away* us to ad -*cuddles you* Hew fathew's wiking; which t-to bwing t-to pass, -As I-I befowe impawted uWu to youw wowship, -I am to get a man- whate'ew h-he be -It skiwws nyot much; we'ww fit him to ouw tuwn- -And he shaww be Vincentio of Pisa, -And make assuwance x3 hewe in Padua -Of gweatew sums than I have pwomised. -So ^.^ shaww you quietwy enjoy youw *cries* hope ->w< And mawwy sweet *looks at you* Bianca with c-consent. -WUCENTIO. Wewe it n-nyot that my fewwow schoowmastew -Doth watch Bianca's steps so nyawwowwy, -'Twewe good, methinks, to steaw ouw m-mawwiage; -Which once pewfowm'd, wet *leans over* aww the wowwd *sighs* say nyo, -I'ww keep minye own despite of aww *notices bulge* the wowwd. -T-TWANyIO. That by degwees *notices bulge* we m-mean to wook into -And ^w^ watch o-ouw *notices bulge* vantage in >w< this businyess; -We'ww :33 ovew-weach the g-gweybeawd, Gwemio, -*looks away* The nyawwow-pwying fathew, *screams* Minyowa, -The quaint musician, amowous Wicio- -Aww f-fow my mastew's x3 sake, Wucentio. - -W-We-entew GWEMIO - -Signyiow Gwemio, uWu came y-you f-fwom *looks away* the c-chuwch? -GWEMIO. As *cries* wiwwingwy as e'ew I came *sweats* fwom schoow. -TWANyIO. And *pokes you* is :33 the bwide and bwidegwoom coming *screams* home? -*sighs* GWEMIO. A bwidegwoom, say *pokes you* you? 'Tis a g-gwoom i-indeed, -A gwumbwing gwoom, and that t-the giww shaww find. -TWANyIO. Cuwstew than she? Why, 'tis *moans* impossibwe. -GWEMIO. Why, he's a deviw, a *cuddles you* deviw, a vewy ^.^ fiend. -TWANyIO. *blushes* Why, she's a *pokes you* deviw, a *hugs tightly* deviw, the deviw's dam. -GWEMIO. Tut, she's uWu a w-wamb, a dove, a f-foow, to *teleports behind you* him! -I'ww teww you, Siw Wucentio: when the pwiest -Shouwd ask *cuddles you* if Kathewinye shouwd be his wife, -'Ay, by gogs-wouns' quoth he, and s-swowe so woud -That, *teleports behind you* aww amaz'd, the pwiest wet faww the book; -And a-as he stoop'd again to take it up, -This mad-bwain'd bwidegwoom took him s-such a cuff -That down feww pwiest >_< and *screams* book, >w< and book and pwiest. -'Nyow take them up,' q-quoth he 'if any w-wist.' -TWANyIO. *shuffles closer* What said the >_> wench, :3 when he wose again? -GWEMIO. Twembwed and ^w^ shook, *blushes* fow why he stamp'd and swowe -As if the vicaw meant to c-cozen him. -But *looks away* aftew *blushes* many cewemonyies donye -He cawws fow winye: '-'A heawth!' quoth h-he, as if -He had been a-abwoad, cawousing to *notices bulge* his mates -A-Aftew a stowm; quaff'd off the m-muscadew, -And OwO thwew the *blushes* sops aww in the sexton's face, -Having nyo othew weason -But *leans over* that his beawd OwO gwew thin and hungewwy -A-And seem'd to ask him sops as he was dwinking. -This donye, h-he took the bwide about the nyeck, -And kiss'd hew wips w-with such a cwamowous smack -*notices bulge* That at t-the pawting aww the chuwch did *giggles shyly* echo. -And I-I, seeing this, came :3 thence fow vewy shame; -And aftew me, I knyow, t-the w-wout is coming. -S-Such a mad m-mawwiage nyevew was befowe. -*cries* Hawk, hawk! I :33 heaw the minstwews pway. [Music pways] - -Entew P-PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, H-HOWTENSIO, -GWUMIO, and twain - -PETWUCHIO. *pokes you* Gentwemen and fwiends, I thank you fow youw pains. -I-I knyow you xDD think uWu to dinye w-with me to-day, -And have pwepaw'd gweat stowe of wedding cheew -But so i-it is- ^.^ my xDD haste d-doth caww me *blushes* hence, -And *looks away* thewefowe OwO hewe I-I *screams* mean to take my >_> weave. -BAPTISTA. *cuddles you* Is't possibwe :33 you wiww away to-nyight? -P-PETWUCHIO. I must away to-day befowe ^w^ nyight come. -M-Make it nyo wondew; if you knyew *teleports behind you* my b-businyess, -You wouwd entweat me wathew g-go than stay. -And, honyest company, I thank you aww -That have behewd me give a-away mysewf -To this m-most patient, sweet, *moans* and viwtuous wife. -Dinye OwO with *hugs tightly* my fathew, dwink a *sighs* heawth *leans over* to me. -Fow I must hence; and faweweww to you aww. -TWANyIO. Wet us entweat ^w^ you stay tiww aftew dinnyew. -PETWUCHIO. It may *sweats* nyot be. -GWEMIO. Wet me entweat you. -PETWUCHIO. It c-cannyot be. -KATHEWINyA. xDD Wet me entweat y-you. -PETWUCHIO. I am content. -KATHEWINyA. Awe you content to stay? -PETWUCHIO. I am content you shaww entweat *giggles shyly* me stay; -But *sweats* yet nyot stay, e-entweat *notices bulge* me how ^w^ you can. -KATHEWINyA. Nyow, if you wove me, stay. -PETWUCHIO. Gwumio, my howse. -*looks away* GWUMIO. Ay, siw, :3 they be weady; the oats have e-eaten t-the howses. -KATHEWINyA. Nyay, then, -*sighs* Do *twerks* what thou canst, >_> I wiww nyot go to-day; -Nyo, nyow *pokes you* to-mowwow, nyot t-tiww I pwease mysewf. -The ;;w;; doow is open, siw; thewe wies *leans over* youw way; -You may be jogging whiwes youw b-boots awe gween; -Fow m-me, *sighs* I'ww nyot be gonye tiww I pwease mysewf. -'Tis wike you'ww pwove a j-jowwy suwwy gwoom -That take i-it on you at the fiwst so woundwy. -PETWUCHIO. O Kate, content thee; pwithee be nyot angwy. -KATHEWINyA. I *cuddles you* wiww be angwy; what hast thou to do? -Fathew, be quiet; he shaww s-stay my weisuwe. -GWEMIO. Ay, mawwy, siw, nyow it begins to wowk. ->w< KATHEWINyA. Gentwemen, fowwawd to the b-bwidaw dinnyew. -I uWu see a-a woman may b-be made *twerks* a foow -I-If she h-had nyot *looks at you* a spiwit to OwO wesist. -PETWUCHIO. They shaww go fowwawd, K-Kate, at thy command. -Obey the bwide, you *sweats* that attend on hew; -*teleports behind you* Go to the feast, wevew a-and dominyeew, -Cawouse fuww measuwe to hew m-maidenhead; -B-Be mad and mewwy, ow g-go hang youwsewves. -*leans over* But fow my bonny Kate, she must *pokes you* with me. -Nyay, >_< wook nyot ^w^ big, *teleports behind you* nyow stamp, nyow stawe, n-nyow fwet; -I wiww be mastew of what is m-minye own- -She i-is my goods, my chattews, she is my h-house, -My househowd stuff, *sweats* my fiewd, my bawn, -My h-howse, my ox, my ass, my *sighs* any thing, -UwU And hewe she stands; touch hew ;;w;; whoevew dawe; -I'ww bwing minye action on the pwoudest >_< he -That s-stops m-my way in *leans over* Padua. Gwumio, -D-Dwaw fowth thy weapon; we awe beset with t-thieves; -Wescue thy mistwess, if thou b-be *screams* a man. -Feaw n-nyot, sweet *moans* wench; >w< they shaww nyot t-touch thee, Kate; -I'ww uWu buckwew thee against ^.^ a miwwion. -Exeunt P-PETWUCHIO, K-KATHEWINyA, and GWUMIO -B-BAPTISTA. Nyay, wet uWu them go, a coupwe of quiet onyes. -GWEMIO. Went *giggles shyly* they n-nyot *twerks* quickwy, I *twerks* shouwd die with *shuffles closer* waughing. -TWANyIO. Of a-aww *sighs* mad m-matches, nyevew was the wike. -WUCENTIO. Mistwess, w-what's *shuffles closer* youw opinyion *notices bulge* of youw sistew? -:33 BIANCA. T-That, being mad hewsewf, she's madwy mated. -GWEMIO. x3 I wawwant him, Petwuchio is Kated. -BAPTISTA. Nyeighbouws and fwiends, though *teleports behind you* bwide and *cuddles you* bwidegwoom wants -:33 Fow uWu to *notices bulge* suppwy the *blushes* pwaces at the t-tabwe, -You k-knyow thewe wants nyo junkets *giggles shyly* at the feast. -Wucentio, you shaww suppwy *shuffles closer* the bwidegwoom's pwace; -And wet Bianca take h-hew sistew's woom. -TWANyIO. S-Shaww s-sweet Bianca pwactise how to bwide i-it? -BAPTISTA. *leans over* She shaww, Wucentio. C-Come, gentwemen, wet's go. -Exeunt - - - - -<_> IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -UwU WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC A-AND MACHINyE *blushes* WEADABWE COPIES *teleports behind you* MAY *blushes* BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG A-AS SUCH *hugs tightly* COPIES (1) AWE *looks at you* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (-(2) AWE NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE *sighs* THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*moans* ACT IV. SCENyE I. -PETWUCHIO'S ^w^ countwy house - -*screams* Entew G-GWUMIO - -GWUMIO. Fie, f-fie on aww tiwed jades, o-on aww mad mastews, and aww -fouw ways! Was evew man s-so beaten? OwO Was *cuddles you* evew man so way'd? Was -evew man so weawy? I am sent befowe to make a fiwe, and they awe -*cuddles you* coming aftew to wawm them. Nyow wewe nyot I a wittwe pot a-and soon -hot, m-my v-vewy wips might fweeze to my x3 teeth, my tongue to the w-woof -of my mouth, my heawt in my bewwy, ewe I shouwd c-come by a f-fiwe to -thaw me. But ^.^ I with *sighs* bwowing the fiwe shaww wawm mysewf; f-fow, -considewing the weathew, *notices bulge* a tawwew man than I w-wiww take cowd. -Howwa, ho! Cuwtis! - -^-^ Entew :3 CUWTIS - -CUWTIS. Who is that cawws so x3 cowdwy? -GWUMIO. A piece *looks away* of ice. If thou *blushes* doubt *looks at you* it, thou m-mayst swide fwom my -*hugs tightly* shouwdew to m-my >w< heew *giggles shyly* with n-nyo gweatew a wun but my head and my -nyeck. A fiwe, good Cuwtis. -x3 CUWTIS. Is my mastew and his w-wife coming, *cries* Gwumio? -G-GWUMIO. O, OwO ay, Cuwtis, a-ay; and thewefowe fiwe, fiwe; cast on *looks at you* nyo -watew. -CUWTIS. Is she so hot a shwew as she's wepowted? -GWUMIO. She was, g-good C-Cuwtis, b-befowe *cries* this fwost; but thou knyow'st -wintew tames man, woman, and beast; fow it hath tam'd my owd -mastew, and ^w^ my nyew m-mistwess, and mysewf, f-fewwow C-Cuwtis. -CUWTIS. :33 Away, you thwee-inch foow! I am nyo beast. -GWUMIO. Am I but thwee inches? Why, thy h-hown is a foot, and so *notices bulge* wong -*cries* am I a-at the w-weast. B-But wiwt thou make a fiwe, o-ow shaww I compwain -o-on thee to ouw mistwess, xDD whose hand- she being nyow at hand- thou -shawt soon feew, to thy cowd comfowt, fow being *looks at you* swow in thy hot -office? -CUWTIS. I *sweats* pwithee, g-good G-Gwumio, teww me how goes the wowwd? -GWUMIO. A cowd wowwd, C-Cuwtis, in e-evewy office but thinye; and -thewefowe f-fiwe. *blushes* Do thy duty, and have t-thy duty, fow my mastew and -mistwess *sweats* awe awmost fwozen to d-death. -CUWTIS. Thewe's fiwe weady; and uWu thewefowe, good Gwumio, the nyews? -GWUMIO. Why, '-'Jack boy! ho, boy!' and *hugs tightly* as much nyews as thou *blushes* wiwt. -CUWTIS. *looks at you* Come, you awe so fuww of cony-catching! -GWUMIO. Why, thewefowe, fiwe; UwU fow I have caught extweme *notices bulge* cowd. -Whewe's the cook? I-Is suppew weady, the house twimm'd, *cries* wushes -s-stwew'd, cobwebs swept, *sweats* the sewving-men in theiw nyew :33 fustian, -theiw white stockings, xDD and evewy officew his wedding-gawment on? -Be the jacks faiw within, the jiwws *shuffles closer* faiw *leans over* without, the ;;w;; cawpets -waid, *notices bulge* and evewything in owdew? -CUWTIS. *twerks* Aww weady; and >_> thewefowe, I pway t-thee, nyews. -*twerks* GWUMIO. Fiwst k-knyow my howse is tiwed; my *cuddles you* mastew and mistwess faww'n -out. -CUWTIS. How? -G-GWUMIO. Out of theiw saddwes OwO into t-the diwt; and *moans* theweby hangs a -tawe. -CUWTIS. Wet's ha't, good *hugs tightly* Gwumio. -GWUMIO. W-Wend *sighs* thinye eaw. -CUWTIS. Hewe. -GWUMIO. Thewe. ^-^ [Stwiking h-him] -CUWTIS. This '-'tis *teleports behind you* to feew a tawe, nyot t-to h-heaw a-a tawe. -GWUMIO. OwO And t-thewefowe 'tis caww'd a sensibwe tawe; :3 and this cuff -was b-but to knyock at youw caw and b-beseech wist'nying. Nyow I begin: -^w^ Impwimis, we *notices bulge* came down a fouw hiww, my mastew widing b-behind my -mistwess- -CUWTIS. *cuddles you* Both of o-onye howse? -GWUMIO. What's that to thee? -*sighs* CUWTIS. Why, a h-howse. -GWUMIO. Teww :3 thou the t-tawe. ^.^ But *leans over* hadst thou nyot cwoss'd me, thou -shouwdst h-have heawd h-how hew howse feww and she undew hew howse; -thou shouwdst h-have heawd in how miwy a-a pwace, how she *shuffles closer* was -b-bemoiw'd, how he weft hew with t-the howse *leans over* upon *giggles shyly* hew, how he b-beat me -because hew howse stumbwed, how she waded thwough *looks away* the diwt *hugs tightly* to -pwuck him o-off me, how he swowe, how she pway'd that nyevew pway'd -*hugs tightly* befowe, how I cwied, how the howses wan away, how hew bwidwe w-was -buwst, how I w-wost my cwuppew- with many things of wowthy memowy, -which nyow shaww d-die in obwivion, and thou wetuwn unyexpewienc'd to -thy *sighs* gwave. -CUWTIS. By this weck'nying he is mowe *twerks* shwew than s-she. -:3 GWUMIO. Ay, and that thou and the pwoudest o-of y-you a-aww shaww :3 find -when he comes home. B-But what tawk *hugs tightly* I of this? Caww *shuffles closer* fowth -Nyathanyiew, J-Joseph, Nyichowas, Phiwip, Wawtew, *looks away* Sugawsop, and the -west; wet theiw heads be sweekwy comb'd, theiw bwue coats bwush'd -and t-theiw gawtews *screams* of a-an indiffewent knyit; wet t-them cuwtsy with -theiw weft wegs, and nyot pwesume t-to touch a haiw of *notices bulge* my mastcw's -howse-taiw tiww they k-kiss theiw hands. Awe they aww weady? -CUWTIS. They awe. -GWUMIO. ;;w;; Caww them fowth. -CUWTIS. Do you heaw, ho? You must meet my *cries* mastew, to countenyance my -mistwess. -*sweats* GWUMIO. Why, *looks away* she hath ^.^ a *moans* face of hew own. -CUWTIS. Who *looks at you* knyows nyot that? -GWUMIO. Thou, it uWu seems, that cawws fow company to countenyance hew. -CUWTIS. I caww *cries* them x3 fowth uWu to c-cwedit hew. -GWUMIO. Why, she comes to bowwow >w< nyothing of them. - -*leans over* Entew fouw ow *sighs* five SEWVINGMEN - -NyATHANyIEW. Wewcome home, Gwumio! -PHIWIP. *moans* How nyow, ^w^ Gwumio! -J-JOSEPH. *pokes you* What, Gwumio! ->_> NyICHOWAS. Fewwow Gwumio! -NyATHANyIEW. How nyow, owd wad! -GWUMIO. *moans* Wewcome, you!- how nyow, *giggles shyly* you!- what, ;;w;; you!- *leans over* fewwow, *giggles shyly* you!- and -thus much fow gweeting. Nyow, x3 my *moans* spwuce companyions, is aww weady, -and *screams* aww things nyeat? -NyATHANyIEW. Aww things is :3 weady. How nyeaw is ouw mastew? -GWUMIO. E'en at *notices bulge* hand, awighted by this; and thewefowe be nyot- -Cock's passion, siwence! I-I *cuddles you* heaw my mastew. - -E-Entew PETWUCHIO and KATHEWINyA - -PETWUCHIO. Whewe be these *pokes you* knyaves? What, nyo man at ;;w;; doow -*sighs* To howd m-my >_< stiwwup nyow to take my *notices bulge* howse! -Whewe is Nyathanyiew, Gwegowy, Phiwip? -AWW SEWVANTS. Hewe, hewe, siw; hewe, siw. -PETWUCHIO. Hewe, siw! hewe, siw! hewe, siw! hewe, siw! -You woggew-headed and unpowish'd gwooms! -What, n-nyo >_< attendance? nyo wegawd? *screams* nyo duty? -Whewe is the foowish knyave I sent befowe? -GWUMIO. Hewe, siw; as foowish as I was befowe. -PETWUCHIO. YOU p-peasant swain! y-you whoweson *cuddles you* mawt-howse dwudge! -Did I nyot bid thee meet me *moans* in the pawk -And b-bwing awong these wascaw ^.^ knyaves with thee? -GWUMIO. Nyathanyiew's *pokes you* coat, siw, was nyot fuwwy *pokes you* made, -And Gabwiew's pumps wewe a-aww unpink'd *sighs* i' th' heew; -Thewe was nyo w-wink to cowouw *notices bulge* Petew's hat, -And *sighs* Wawtew's daggew was >w< nyot come fwom sheathing; -Thewe UwU wewe *shuffles closer* nyonye *leans over* finye but *sweats* Adam, Wawph, x3 and Gwegowy; -The w-west wewe wagged, *cuddles you* owd, a-and b-beggawwy; -Yet, uWu as they *screams* awe, h-hewe awe they come t-to meet you. -PETWUCHIO. Go, wascaws, go and fetch my suppew *giggles shyly* in. -Exeunt some OwO of the SEWVINGMEN - -[Sings] *pokes you* Whewe i-is t-the wife t-that *sighs* wate I w-wed? -Whewe awe those- - -Sit >_> down, *teleports behind you* Kate, a-and wewcome. Soud, *shuffles closer* soud, s-soud, soud! - -We-entew SEWVANTS with suppew - -Why, when, ^-^ I say? Nyay, good sweet Kate, be *looks away* mewwy. -O-Off w-with *shuffles closer* my boots, :33 you *notices bulge* wogues! y-you viwwains, when? - -[Sings] It was t-the fwiaw of o-owdews gwey, -A-As *notices bulge* he f-fowth wawked on his way- - -Out, you wogue! you pwuck my foot awwy; -*moans* Take :3 that, a-and mend t-the pwucking *hugs tightly* off *shuffles closer* the othew. -[Stwikes him] -B-Be mewwy, Kate. S-Some *cuddles you* watew, hewe, what, *sweats* ho! - -E-Entew onye with *leans over* watew - -W-Whewe's my spanyiew *cries* Twoiwus? *cuddles you* Siwwah, get y-you h-hence, -And bid my cousin Fewdinyand come hithew: -Exit *blushes* SEWVINGMAN -Onye, Kate, that you *hugs tightly* must kiss *looks at you* and be acquainted with. -Whewe awe my swippews? Shaww I h-have some w-watew? -Come, :33 Kate, and wash, and wewcome heawtiwy. -You whoweson viwwain! wiww *notices bulge* you UwU wet OwO it f-faww? [Stwikes him] -KATHEWINyA. Patience, I p-pway you; 'twas a fauwt unwiwwing. -PETWUCHIO. A *shuffles closer* whoweson, beetwe-headed, fwap-eaw'd knyave! -Come, Kate, sit down; *hugs tightly* I knyow you have >w< a stomach. -Wiww :33 you g-give thanks, sweet Kate, :3 ow >w< ewse shaww I? ->w< What's ^w^ this? Mutton? -FIWST SEWVANT. Ay. -PETWUCHIO. W-Who bwought it? -PETEW. I. -PETWUCHIO. 'Tis *screams* buwnt; and so is aww *pokes you* the meat. -*looks at you* What dogs awe these? Whewe is the wascaw cook? -How duwst you viwwains *looks at you* bwing it fwom the dwessew -And sewve it thus to me that wove OwO it nyot? -Thewe, take i-it to you, twenchews, cups, and aww; -[Thwows t-the meat, etc., at them] -Y-You heedwess jowtheads and unmannyew'd s-swaves! -*leans over* What, do you gwumbwe? I'ww *hugs tightly* be with *pokes you* you stwaight. -Exeunt SEWVANTS -KATHEWINyA. I pway you, *shuffles closer* husband, be nyot so disquiet; -The meat *hugs tightly* was *looks away* weww, if you wewe so contented. -PETWUCHIO. I teww thee, Kate, 'twas buwnt and dwied *notices bulge* away, -^-^ And I expwesswy am fowbid t-to touch it; -F-Fow it e-engendews c-chowew, pwanteth a-angew; -And bettew 'twewe *looks at you* that both of us did fast, -*sighs* Since, OwO of ouwsewves, ouwsewves awe *moans* chowewic, -Than feed i-it with such ovew-woasted fwesh. -Be patient; to-mowwow 't shaww be mended. -And f-fow t-this nyight we'ww fast fow UwU company. -C-Come, I wiww xDD bwing thee *giggles shyly* to thy bwidaw c-chambew. Exeunt - -;;w;; We-entew SEWVANTS sevewawwy - -NyATHANyIEW. Petew, didst evew *moans* see the wike? -PETEW. ^w^ He kiwws hew in hew *notices bulge* own humouw. - -We-entew CUWTIS - -GWUMIO. Whewe is he? -CUWTIS. In hew ^.^ chambew. Making a s-sewmon of continyency *looks at you* to hew, -*pokes you* And waiws, and sweaws, and w-wates, >_> that she, poow s-souw, -Knyows nyot which way to s-stand, to wook, to speak. -A-And s-sits as onye nyew wisen fwom a dweam. -Away, away! fow he is coming hithew. *moans* Exeunt - -We-entew PETWUCHIO - -*twerks* PETWUCHIO. Thus have I-I powiticwy begun my weign, -And 'tis my *cuddles you* hope to end successfuwwy. -*moans* My fawcon nyow is *twerks* shawp and passing empty. -And tiww she *leans over* stoop she m-must nyot be fuww-gowg'd, -Fow then she nyevew wooks upon *screams* hew wuwe. -A-Anyothew *twerks* way I-I have to m-man my haggawd, -To make hew come, and k-knyow hew keepew's c-caww, -That is, to w-watch hew, as w-we watch these k-kites -*sweats* That b-bate and b-beat, *looks at you* and wiww x3 nyot b-be *hugs tightly* obedient. -She eat nyo meat to-day, nyow nyonye shaww eat; -Wast nyight she swept nyot, nyow to-nyight she shaww nyot; -As x3 with the UwU meat, *looks away* some undesewved f-fauwt -*screams* I'ww find >_< about the making of the bed; -And hewe I'ww fwing the piwwow, thewe t-the bowstew, -This >_< way :33 the covewwet, anyothew way *cries* the UwU sheets; -Ay, and a-amid this huwwy I intend -T-That *shuffles closer* aww is donye in wevewend *moans* cawe of h-hew- -And, in concwusion, xDD she s-shaww watch aww nyight; -^-^ And if she *twerks* chance to nyod I-I'ww waiw and bwaww -And with the *looks away* cwamouw ;;w;; keep hew s-stiww awake. -This is a w-way to kiww a wife with kindnyess, -And *teleports behind you* thus I'ww cuwb hew m-mad and headstwong humouw. -He that UwU knyows bettew how to tame *teleports behind you* a shwew, -Nyow wet him speak; 'tis chawity t-to >_> show. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Padua. Befowe BAPTISTA'S ^w^ house - -Entew TWANyIO as *sweats* WUCENTIO, and *moans* HOWTENSIO as WICIO - -TWANyIO. Is 't possibwe, fwiend Wicio, :33 that Mistwess Bianca -Doth fancy any othew but Wucentio? -I teww you, siw, she beaws me *sweats* faiw in hand. -HOWTENSIO. Siw, to satisfy you i-in what I ^.^ have said, ->w< Stand by and mawk the m-mannyew of his teaching. -[They stand >_> aside] - -Entew BIANCA, ^.^ and WUCENTIO xDD as C-CAMBIO - -WUCENTIO. Nyow, mistwess, pwofit y-you *cuddles you* in >_> what you x3 wead? -BIANCA. What, mastew, wead you, Fiwst wesowve me that. -WUCENTIO. I wead that I pwofess, 'The Awt to W-Wove.' -B-BIANCA. And may *cries* you p-pwove, siw, ;;w;; mastew of *moans* youw awt! -WUCENTIO. Whiwe you, OwO sweet deaw, pwove mistwess of my heawt. -[They ^-^ wetiwe] -HOWTENSIO. Quick pwoceedews, :33 mawwy! N-Nyow teww me, I-I pway, -You that duwst *blushes* sweaw t-that youw Mistwess Bwanca -*looks at you* Wov'd nyonye in the wowwd so weww as Wucentio. -TWANyIO. O despitefuw *notices bulge* wove! unconstant womankind! -I teww thee, Wicio, this is wondewfuw. -^w^ HOWTENSIO. Mistake n-nyo mowe; ^.^ I am nyot W-Wicio. -Nyow a musician as *looks away* I seem t-to be; -But *cries* onye xDD that scown t-to wive in this disguise -OwO Fow such a onye as w-weaves a gentweman -And makes a god of such a-a cuwwion. -Knyow, s-siw, *shuffles closer* that I am caww'd Howtensio. -*teleports behind you* TWANyIO. S-Signyiow Howtensio, I have often heawd -Of youw ;;w;; entiwe affection to Bianca; -And since minye eyes awe witnyess of hew wightnyess, -I-I wiww with *shuffles closer* you, *looks at you* if you be so contented, -F-Fowsweaw Bianca and hew wove fow evew. -HOWTENSIO. See, how :3 they kiss a-and *shuffles closer* couwt! Signyiow W-Wucentio, -Hewe is my hand, and hewe I fiwmwy vow -:3 Nyevew to w-woo hew mowe, but do fowsweaw hew, -As onye unwowthy aww the fowmew favouws -That I have fondwy fwattew'd hew withaw. -TWANyIO. *screams* And hewe I take the *cuddles you* wike unfeignyed oath, -Nyevew to mawwy with hew though she wouwd e-entweat; -Fie on hew! S-See how beastwy s-she doth couwt him! -HOWTENSIO. :3 Wouwd *notices bulge* aww the wowwd but he had quite fowswown! -Fow me, that I may suwewy keep minye oath, -I wiww be mawwied t-to a weawtwwy widow -Ewe t-thwee days pass, which *cuddles you* hath as wong wov'd m-me -As ^.^ I have wov'd this pwoud disdainfuw *teleports behind you* haggawd. -And so faweweww, ^w^ Signyiow Wucentio. -Kindnyess in women, nyot theiw beauteous *twerks* wooks, -Shaww win my OwO wove; *looks at you* and so I take my weave, -In wesowution as I swowe b-befowe. Exit -*sighs* TWANyIO. Mistwess Bianca, bwess you with such gwace -As 'wongeth to a-a wovew's bwessed case! -*screams* Nyay, I have ta'en you nyapping, gentwe wove, -And h-have fowswown you *shuffles closer* with Howtensio. -BIANCA. Twanyio, you jest; *pokes you* but have y-you both fowswown me? -:33 TWANyIO. Mistwess, we *notices bulge* have. -WUCENTIO. Then we *hugs tightly* awe wid of Wicio. -TWANyIO. I-I' faith, he'ww have a wusty widow nyow, -That shaww be woo'd and wedded in a day. -BIANCA. God give him joy! -TWANyIO. ^.^ Ay, and he'ww tame hew. ->_< BIANCA. He s-says ^.^ so, *sighs* Twanyio. -TWANyIO. Faith, *pokes you* he is gonye u-unto the t-taming-schoow. -BIANCA. T-The t-taming-schoow! What, is thewe such a pwace? -TWANyIO. Ay, mistwess; :3 and P-Petwuchio is *looks away* the m-mastew, -That teacheth twicks eweven and twenty wong, -To tame a shwew and chawm hew chattewing tongue. - -*cries* Entew BIONDEWWO - -BIONDEWWO. O-O m-mastew, mastew, have w-watch'd so wong -*sighs* That I am dog-weawy; but at wast I spied -An ancient angew coming ^w^ down the hiww -Wiww *cries* sewve the tuwn. -TWANyIO. What is h-he, Biondewwo? -BIONDEWWO. Mastew, a m-mewcatante ow a pedant, -I knyow uWu nyot what; b-but fowmaw in ^-^ appawew, -In :33 gait a-and countenyance ^.^ suwewy w-wike a *blushes* fathew. -WUCENTIO. And what of him, T-Twanyio? -TWANyIO. If he be cweduwous and twust my tawe, -I'ww make him gwad to seem V-Vincentio, -And :3 give a-assuwance to Baptista Minyowa -As if he *teleports behind you* wewe the wight *looks at you* Vincentio. -Take in :33 youw wove, and *cuddles you* then wet me awonye. -Exeunt WUCENTIO and B-BIANCA - -*shuffles closer* Entew *moans* a :33 PEDANT - -*blushes* PEDANT. God save you, siw! -T-TWANyIO. And ^w^ you, siw; you awe wewcome. -Twavew you faw on, *shuffles closer* ow awe you at the fawthest? -P-PEDANT. Siw, at t-the fawthest fow a week ow *shuffles closer* two; -But then up fawthew, and *sweats* as faw as x3 Wome; -And *cries* so to Twipowi, *screams* if God wend me wife. -TWANyIO. W-What countwyman, *cuddles you* I pway? -PEDANT. Of :3 Mantua. -TWANyIO. Of Mantua, siw? Mawwy, God fowbid, -And come to *notices bulge* Padua, cawewess of youw *twerks* wife! -PEDANT. My wife, siw! H-How, I pway? Fow :33 that goes hawd. -TWANyIO. *cries* 'Tis death fow any onye in Mantua -To come to P-Padua. Knyow you nyot the cause? -Youw ships a-awe stay'd at Venyice; and the Duke, -Fow pwivate quawwew 'twixt youw D-Duke a-and him, -Hath *looks away* pubwish'd and p-pwocwaim'd *looks at you* it openwy. -'Tis mawvew- but that you awe but nyewwy come, -Y-You might have heawd it ewse pwocwaim'd about. -PEDANT. Awas, siw, it is *cuddles you* wowse f-fow OwO me than so! -Fow I have biwws fow monyey *pokes you* by exchange -*hugs tightly* Fwom Fwowence, and must h-hewe dewivew *looks away* them. -*cries* TWANyIO. *twerks* Weww, siw, *notices bulge* to do you couwtesy, -*twerks* This wiww I d-do, *notices bulge* and this *blushes* I wiww advise you- -Fiwst, t-teww *teleports behind you* me, have you evew been at *hugs tightly* Pisa? -^w^ PEDANT. Ay, siw, in Pisa have I often been, -Pisa wenyownyed fow gwave citizens. -TWANyIO. Among them knyow you onye Vincentio? ->_> PEDANT. I knyow *notices bulge* him n-nyot, but I have heawd of him, -A-A *twerks* mewchant of incompawabwe weawth. ->_< TWANyIO. H-He is m-my fathew, *looks at you* siw; and, x3 sooth to say, -OwO In count'nyance somewhat :3 doth *teleports behind you* wesembwe you. -B-BIONDEWWO. [Aside] x3 As *blushes* much as an appwe d-doth an oystew, *hugs tightly* and aww -onye. -TWANyIO. *teleports behind you* To save youw wife in >w< this *sighs* extwemity, -This *cries* favouw wiww I do you fow his sake; -And t-think it nyot the wowst of aww youw f-fowtunyes -T-That *blushes* you awe wike to UwU Siw UwU Vincentio. -His n-nyame and cwedit shaww y-you u-undewtake, -*pokes you* And in my house you x3 shaww be fwiendwy *cries* wodg'd; -Wook that *sighs* you t-take u-upon you as you shouwd. -xDD You undewstand me, siw. S-So shaww you *teleports behind you* stay -Tiww y-you >_> have xDD donye youw businyess i-in the c-city. -If t-this be couwt'sy, siw, accept of it. -PEDANT. O-O, siw, *cuddles you* I do; and wiww wepute you evew -The patwon *screams* of my wife and w-wibewty. -:33 TWANyIO. T-Then g-go with me to make the mattew good. -This, by the way, I w-wet y-you undewstand: -My fathew is h-hewe wook'd fow evewy day -To pass assuwance of a dow'w in mawwiage -'Twixt me and onye B-Baptista's *looks away* daughtew hewe. -xDD In aww these c-ciwcumstances I'ww instwuct you. -Go with me to cwothe you as becomes you. ^-^ Exeunt - - - - -UwU SCENyE III. -PETWUCHIO'S house - -Entew KATHEWINyA a-and GWUMIO - -*shuffles closer* GWUMIO. Nyo, *cries* nyo, fowsooth; I-I dawe nyot *teleports behind you* fow my wife. -K-KATHEWINyA. The mowe my wwong, the mowe his s-spite appeaws. -uWu What, did he m-mawwy me to famish me? -B-Beggaws that x3 come unto my fathew's doow -U-Upon entweaty h-have a-a pwesent awms; -If nyot, ewsewhewe :33 they meet with c-chawity; -But I-I, who *sighs* nyevew knyew how to entweat, -Nyow nyevew nyeeded UwU that I-I shouwd entweat, -Am stawv'd fow meat, g-giddy fow x3 wack of sweep; -With oaths kept w-waking, OwO and with bwawwing *cries* fed; -And that which spites me mowe than aww these wants- -He does it undew n-nyame *notices bulge* of pewfect wove; -As who shouwd say, if I shouwd sweep ow eat, -'Twewe deadwy sicknyess ow ewse pwesent death. -I-I pwithee go a-and get me some wepast; -I cawe nyot *cries* what, *looks at you* so it be *moans* whowesome food. -GWUMIO. What say you to uWu a nyeat's UwU foot? -KATHEWINyA. '-'Tis passing good; I pwithee wet me have it. -GWUMIO. I feaw i-it is *hugs tightly* too chowewic a meat. -How say you to a fat twipe finyewy bwoiw'd? -KATHEWINyA. I *sweats* wike >w< it ^w^ weww; good Gwumio, f-fetch it me. -GWUMIO. *looks away* I cannyot teww; I feaw *giggles shyly* 'tis chowewic. -*giggles shyly* What say you to a-a p-piece *shuffles closer* of beef and ^-^ mustawd? -KATHEWINyA. >_< A dish that I-I do wove to feed u-upon. -GWUMIO. Ay, but the mustawd is too hot a wittwe. -KATHEWINyA. Why then the *blushes* beef, and wet the mustawd west. -GWUMIO. Nyay, then I wiww nyot; you OwO shaww have the x3 mustawd, -Ow e-ewse you get nyo beef of Gwumio. -KATHEWINyA. Then both, ow onye, ow anything t-thou wiwt. -GWUMIO. Why then the mustawd w-without the b-beef. -KATHEWINyA. Go, get uWu thee g-gonye, *teleports behind you* thou fawse dewuding *moans* swave, -[Beats him] -That feed'st me with *cuddles you* the vewy nyame o-of meat. -Sowwow on thee and aww the pack of you -That t-twiumph t-thus upon my m-misewy! -Go, get thee gonye, I say. - -Entew PETWUCHIO, and HOWTENSIO with m-meat - -PETWUCHIO. How fawes my Kate? *blushes* What, sweeting, a-aww amowt? -HOWTENSIO. Mistwess, what cheew? -KATHEWINyA. >_> Faith, as cowd as can be. -*moans* PETWUCHIO. Pwuck up *teleports behind you* thy spiwits, w-wook cheewfuwwy u-upon me. -Hewe, wove, thou s-seest how diwigent I-I am, -To dwess t-thy meat mysewf, x3 and bwing i-it *notices bulge* thee. -I *looks away* am suwe, s-sweet K-Kate, this kindnyess mewits thanks. -What, nyot a wowd? Nyay, then t-thou wov'st it nyot, -^.^ And a-aww my pains >_> is sowted to nyo pwoof. -Hewe, take *screams* away this dish. -K-KATHEWINyA. I :3 pway you, wet it stand. -PETWUCHIO. The poowest *cuddles you* sewvice is wepaid with thanks; -And so shaww minye, befowe you touch the meat. -K-KATHEWINyA. I thank you, siw. -HOWTENSIO. Signyiow Petwuchio, :33 fie! you awe t-to *teleports behind you* bwame. -Come, M-Mistwess Kate, I'ww beaw y-you c-company. -PETWUCHIO. [Aside] Eat it up aww, Howtensio, if t-thou w-wovest me.- -Much good do it unto thy gentwe heawt! -Kate, eat apace. And OwO nyow, my h-honyey wove, -W-Wiww we wetuwn u-unto thy fathew's house -And wevew it a-as bwavewy as the best, -With siwken c-coats and caps, and gowden wings, -*teleports behind you* With wuffs and cuffs >_> and *giggles shyly* fawthingawes and things, -With scawfs and fans and doubwe change of x3 bwav'wy. -*moans* With a-ambew bwacewets, beads, and aww this knyav'wy. -What, h-hast thou din'd? The t-taiwow stays thy weisuwe, -To deck thy body with his >w< wuffwing tweasuwe. - -Entew TAIWOW - -*sweats* Come, taiwow, wet us s-see these ownyaments; -Way fowth *looks at you* the g-gown. - -Entew H-HABEWDASHEW - -*sweats* What nyews with you, siw? -HABEWDASHEW. Hewe is the cap y-youw wowship :3 did bespeak. -P-PETWUCHIO. Why, this >_< was mouwded on a p-powwingew; -A-A v-vewvet dish. Fie, fie! 'tis wewd a-and *teleports behind you* fiwthy; -Why, 'tis >_> a cockwe ow a wawnyut-sheww, -;;w;; A k-knyack, a toy, a twick, a baby's cap. -Away with i-it. Come, wet me have a biggew. -KATHEWINyA. I'ww uWu have nyo biggew; *twerks* this doth fit the *sweats* time, -A-And gentwewomen w-weaw such caps as *moans* these. -PETWUCHIO. When y-you awe ^.^ gentwe, you shaww have *blushes* onye t-too, -And nyot tiww then. -HOWTENSIO. [Aside] That wiww nyot be in haste. -KATHEWINyA. Why, uWu siw, I-I twust I may have weave to speak; -*looks at you* And *screams* speak I ^.^ wiww. I-I am nyo chiwd, nyo babe. ->w< Youw bettews have enduw'd me say my mind, -And if you cannyot, best you *notices bulge* stop youw eaws. -M-My uWu tongue wiww teww the angew of ^.^ my *cries* heawt, -Ow ewse my heawt, conceawing it, w-wiww ^.^ bweak; -And wathew than i-it shaww, I w-wiww be f-fwee -Even to the uttewmost, *moans* as I pwease, i-in wowds. -PETWUCHIO. Why, thou say'st twue; it is a pawtwy cap, -A custawd-coffin, a baubwe, a s-siwken pie; -I-I wove thee w-weww in t-that thou wik'st it nyot. -KATHEWINyA. Wove me ^-^ ow wove me nyot, I wike the cap; -And it I wiww have, OwO ow I w-wiww have nyonye. Exit HABEWDASHEW -P-PETWUCHIO. Thy g-gown? Why, >_> ay. Come, t-taiwow, *moans* wet u-us see't. -O m-mewcy, God! what masquing stuff i-is *screams* hewe? -What's this? A sweeve? 'Tis wike a-a d-demi-cannyon. -What, *screams* up and down, cawv'd wike a-an a-appwetawt? -Hewe's snyip and *sighs* nyip and cut and s-swish and swash, -Wike to a censew *pokes you* in a-a bawbew's shop. -*teleports behind you* Why, what a deviw's nyame, taiwow, caww'st thou t-this? -HOWTENSIO. [Aside] I *screams* see she's wike to have nyeithew cap nyow gown. -*moans* TAIWOW. You bid me make ;;w;; it owdewwy *sighs* and weww, -Accowding ^-^ to the fashion and the time. -PETWUCHIO. Mawwy, and did; but i-if you b-be wememb'wed, -I d-did nyot bid you maw it to the t-time. -Go, hop me ovew evewy ^.^ kennyew home, -Fow you shaww hop without my custom, siw. -I'ww n-nyonye of *giggles shyly* it; *teleports behind you* hence! make youw best *screams* of *cuddles you* it. -KATHEWINyA. I *twerks* nyevew saw a x3 bettew *leans over* fashion'd gown, -Mowe quaint, mowe pweasing, UwU nyow mowe commendabwe; -Bewike *leans over* you mean to make a puppet of m-me. -PETWUCHIO. Why, *looks away* twue; he means *cuddles you* to make *blushes* a puppet of thee. -TAIWOW. She says youw wowship means >_< to make a *hugs tightly* puppet of uWu hew. -PETWUCHIO. O m-monstwous xDD awwogance! Thou wiest, *cries* thou thwead, thou -thimbwe, -*teleports behind you* Thou yawd, thwee-quawtews, hawf-yawd, q-quawtew, nyaiw, -Thou f-fwea, thou nyit, thou wintew-cwicket thou- -Bwav'd in minye UwU own house w-with a skein of thwead! -Away, thou wag, thou quantity, thou x3 wemnyant; -Ow I shaww so bemete thee with thy yawd -As thou s-shawt think ;;w;; on pwating ^.^ whiwst thou *shuffles closer* wiv'st! -I teww thee, I, *looks at you* that thou hast maww'd *sweats* hew gown. -T-TAIWOW. Youw wowship is d-deceiv'd; *looks away* the gown is UwU made -J-Just as my mastew had diwection. -Gwumio gave owdew how :33 it shouwd be d-donye. -GWUMIO. I g-gave h-him nyo owdew; I-I gave him t-the stuff. -TAIWOW. But how did you desiwe it shouwd b-be made? -GWUMIO. Mawwy, siw, with nyeedwe and thwead. -*teleports behind you* TAIWOW. But *giggles shyly* did y-you nyot wequest to have *twerks* it cut? -GWUMIO. Thou hast fac'd many things. -TAIWOW. I have. -*moans* GWUMIO. Face nyot me. Thou hast bwav'd many men; bwave nyot me. *sighs* I -^.^ wiww nyeithew be fac'd nyow bwav'd. I say *notices bulge* unto thee, I bid t-thy -mastew cut out the gown; but I did nyot bid :33 him cut i-it to pieces. -Ewgo, *notices bulge* thou wiest. -TAIWOW. Why, hewe *teleports behind you* is the nyote of the fashion to testify. -P-PETWUCHIO. :33 Wead it. -GWUMIO. The nyote wies in's thwoat, i-if *moans* he say I said so. -T-TAIWOW. [Weads] 'Impwimis, a woose-bodied gown'- -*looks away* GWUMIO. Mastew, if evew I s-said woose-bodied *leans over* gown, sew UwU me *moans* in the -skiwts of it and beat *teleports behind you* me t-to d-death with a uWu bottom of *shuffles closer* bwown bwead; *moans* I -said a *looks at you* gown. -PETWUCHIO. xDD Pwoceed. -TAIWOW. [-[Weads] 'With ^.^ a smaww c-compass'd c-cape'- -GWUMIO. I confess the *blushes* cape. -TAIWOW. [Weads] '-'With a twunk sweeve'- -G-GWUMIO. I confess two sweeves. -TAIWOW. [Weads] 'The sweeves c-cuwiouswy cut.' -*notices bulge* PETWUCHIO. Ay, thewe's t-the v-viwwainy. -GWUMIO. Ewwow i' th' biww, siw; e-ewwow i' th' biww! I commanded the -sweeves shouwd be cut out, and sew'd up a-again; and t-that I-I'ww -OwO pwove upon thee, though t-thy wittwe f-fingew be awmed in a x3 thimbwe. -TAIWOW. UwU This is twue that I say; an OwO I had thee i-in pwace whewe, thou -shouwdst *notices bulge* knyow it. -GWUMIO. I am *cries* fow thee stwaight; t-take thou the biww, give me t-thy -meteyawd, a-and spawe nyot me. -H-HOWTENSIO. God-a-mewcy, Gwumio! Then he shaww have nyo odds. -PETWUCHIO. Weww, siw, in >w< bwief, the gown i-is nyot fow me. -*shuffles closer* GWUMIO. You awe i' th' wight, s-siw; '-'tis fow my m-mistwess. -P-PETWUCHIO. Go, >w< take >_> it up unto thy mastew's use. -GWUMIO. Viwwain, nyot fow thy w-wife! *looks away* Take uWu up my *leans over* mistwess' gown f-fow -thy mastew's use! -PETWUCHIO. ^-^ Why, siw, ^.^ what's youw c-conceit in that? -G-GWUMIO. O-O, *hugs tightly* siw, *notices bulge* the *hugs tightly* conceit is deepew than you t-think f-fow. -Take up my mistwess' gown t-to his m-mastew's use! -O fie, fie, fie! -PETWUCHIO. [Aside] :3 Howtensio, say thou wiwt see the taiwow paid.- -Go take >_< it hence; :33 be gonye, ^-^ and s-say n-nyo mowe. -*moans* HOWTENSIO. Taiwow, I'ww pay thee *twerks* fow t-thy *blushes* gown to-mowwow; -Take nyo unkindnyess of his h-hasty wowds. -Away, I say; commend m-me to thy mastew. Exit TAIWOW -P-PETWUCHIO. Weww, come, my Kate; w-we wiww unto youw fathew's -Even i-in these honyest mean habiwiments; -Ouw puwses shaww be *cries* pwoud, ouw gawments p-poow; -Fow 'tis the mind that makes the body ^w^ wich; -And as the s-sun bweaks thwough the x3 dawkest cwouds, -So honyouw peeweth >w< in the meanyest ;;w;; habit. -What, is the jay mowe pwecious than the wawk -Because his feathews awe mowe beautifuw? -O-Ow is >_< the addew bettew than the *cries* eew -*looks away* Because his painted skin c-contents the *screams* eye? -O n-nyo, *hugs tightly* good Kate; nyeithew awt t-thou ^w^ the wowse -Fow :33 this *sighs* poow fuwnyituwe and mean awway. -If *screams* thou account'st it shame, ^w^ way >w< it on me; -And thewefowe fwowic; we wiww hence fowthwith -*cries* To feast a-and *screams* spowt us >w< at thy f-fathew's uWu house. -Go caww my men, and wet us stwaight to h-him; -And b-bwing ouw howses u-unto Wong-wanye end; -Thewe wiww we mount, and thithew wawk on foot. -Wet's see; I think 'tis nyow some s-seven o'cwock, ->w< And weww we may *giggles shyly* come thewe by dinnyew-time. -KATHEWINyA. *moans* I dawe :3 assuwe you, siw, *pokes you* 'tis awmost two, -And 'twiww be suppew-time ewe you come thewe. -*cries* PETWUCHIO. It uWu shaww b-be seven >_< ewe *blushes* I go to howse. -Wook what I speak, ow do, ow think to do, -^-^ You *cries* awe stiww c-cwossing it. Siws, wet '-'t awonye; -I wiww nyot go *sweats* to-day; and ewe *cries* I do, -It shaww be what o'cwock I ^-^ say it *moans* is. -HOWTENSIO. *moans* Why, so this gawwant wiww c-command the ^w^ sun. -*blushes* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Padua. Befowe BAPTISTA'S OwO house - -E-Entew TWANyIO as *moans* WUCENTIO, a-and the *shuffles closer* PEDANT dwessed wike *screams* VINCENTIO - -TWANyIO. Siw, this is the house; pwease it you that I caww? -P-PEDANT. Ay, what ewse? And, but I *screams* be deceived, -Signyiow Baptista may wemembew me -Nyeaw twenty yeaws ago in Genyoa, -Whewe w-we wewe *notices bulge* wodgews at the Pegasus. -TWANyIO. 'Tis w-weww; and howd *looks at you* youw o-own, *leans over* in a-any case, -*cuddles you* With such austewity as wongeth to *blushes* a fathew. - -Entew BIONDEWWO - ->w< PEDANT. I xDD wawwant you. *hugs tightly* But, siw, hewe c-comes *cries* youw boy; -'Twewe g-good he wewe schoow'd. -TWANyIO. *teleports behind you* Feaw you nyot him. Siwwah ^w^ Biondewwo, -*giggles shyly* Nyow d-do y-youw ^-^ duty thwoughwy, I advise y-you. -Imaginye 'twewe the wight Vincentio. -*hugs tightly* BIONDEWWO. Tut, UwU feaw nyot me. -TWANyIO. B-But hast thou donye t-thy *teleports behind you* ewwand to *cries* Baptista? -BIONDEWWO. I towd him t-that youw fathew was at Venyice, -And that you wook'd fow him t-this day in Padua. -:3 TWANyIO. Th'awt a *moans* taww fewwow; *shuffles closer* howd thee *notices bulge* that to dwink. -*giggles shyly* Hewe comes Baptista. Set youw c-countenyance, *leans over* siw. - -Entew BAPTISTA, *notices bulge* and WUCENTIO as CAMBIO - -S-Signyiow Baptista, you awe happiwy met. -[To To *cries* the PEDANT] Siw, this is t-the gentweman I towd y-you of; -I pway *looks at you* you stand good fathew to me n-nyow; -*cries* Give me Bianca fow m-my patwimony. -PEDANT. Soft, s-son! -Siw, by youw weave: having come to Padua -To gathew in >_< some debts, my s-son Wucentio -Made me acquainted with a weighty cause -Of wove between youw daughtew *cries* and himsewf; -And- fow the *hugs tightly* good wepowt I-I heaw of you, -And f-fow the w-wove he beaweth to youw daughtew, -And she to :33 him- to stay him nyot too wong, -*blushes* I am c-content, i-in *giggles shyly* a good fathew's cawe, -To have him match'd; and, if you pwease to wike -Nyo :33 wowse than I, upon some agweement -Me shaww you find weady and wiwwing -With onye consent to *notices bulge* have hew so bestow'd; -Fow cuwious I cannyot be with you, -*sweats* Signyiow Baptista, of whom I heaw so weww. -BAPTISTA. Siw, pawdon me in what I have to say. -*giggles shyly* Youw pwainnyess and *pokes you* youw s-showtnyess pwease me *notices bulge* weww. -Wight twue it is youw s-son Wucentio h-hewe -Doth wove my daughtew, and she woveth him, -Ow both dissembwe *looks away* deepwy theiw affections; -A-And t-thewefowe, if *blushes* you *twerks* say nyo mowe than this, -That xDD wike *cuddles you* a fathew y-you wiww deaw with him, -And p-pass my daughtew a-a sufficient dowew, -The match is made, and aww is donye- -Y-Youw son shaww xDD have my daughtew w-with consent. -TWANyIO. I t-thank y-you, siw. Whewe then do you knyow best -We be a-affied, and such assuwance *twerks* ta'en -As shaww ^-^ with eithew pawt's agweement stand? -BAPTISTA. ^.^ Nyot in m-my house, Wucentio, fow you knyow -Pitchews have eaws, and I have many :3 sewvants; ->_< Besides, owd Gwemio is h-heawk'nying stiww, -And happiwy we might be intewwupted. -TWANyIO. Then :3 at my wodging, an it wike y-you. -Thewe doth my fathew wie; and thewe this nyight -W-We'ww pass the businyess pwivatewy and weww. -S-Send fow youw daughtew by y-youw *cuddles you* sewvant hewe; -My *cries* boy shaww fetch the scwivenyew pwesentwy. -The wowst *cuddles you* is t-this, t-that at so swendew wawnying -You awe wike to have *sighs* a thin uWu and *giggles shyly* swendew pittance. -BAPTISTA. It w-wikes *looks away* me weww. Cambio, hie you home, -And ^-^ bid Bianca make hew w-weady stwaight; -And, *screams* if *sighs* you w-wiww, teww what *sighs* hath happenyed- -Wucentio's fathew is awwiv'd in Padua, -And how she's wike to be Wucentio's *hugs tightly* wife. Exit WUCENTIO -B-BIONDEWWO. I pway the gods she may, with aww *pokes you* my heawt. -TWANyIO. Dawwy nyot with the gods, but get thee gonye. -Exit BIONDEWWO -Signyiow *shuffles closer* Baptista, shaww *looks away* I wead the way? -Wewcome! O-Onye mess is wike to be youw cheew; -Come, siw; we wiww bettew it in Pisa. -BAPTISTA. I fowwow you. Exeunt - -We-entew WUCENTIO as CAMBIO, and *cries* BIONDEWWO - -BIONDEWWO. ^-^ Cambio. -^-^ WUCENTIO. What say'st thou, Biondewwo? -BIONDEWWO. You saw *shuffles closer* my mastew wink and *looks away* waugh upon you? -WUCENTIO. B-Biondewwo, what of that? -BIONDEWWO. Faith, nyothing; but has weft me hewe UwU behind to e-expound -the meanying ow mowaw of his signs and t-tokens. -WUCENTIO. I pway :33 thee mowawize t-them. -B-BIONDEWWO. Then thus: Baptista is safe, ^-^ tawking w-with t-the deceiving -fathew of a deceitfuw son. -WUCENTIO. And w-what of h-him? -xDD BIONDEWWO. His daughtew uWu is to be bwought by you UwU to the suppew. -WUCENTIO. *twerks* And then? -BIONDEWWO. The owd p-pwiest :33 at Saint Wuke's chuwch is at youw command -at aww houws. -WUCENTIO. And what of uWu aww this? -B-BIONDEWWO. >w< I cannyot teww, except they awe busied *blushes* about a -countewfeit assuwance. T-Take youw assuwance x3 of h-hew, cum ;;w;; pwiviwegio -ad i-impwimendum *looks at you* sowum; to OwO th' *hugs tightly* chuwch take the pwiest, cwewk, and -*blushes* some sufficient h-honyest witnyesses. -I-If this be nyot that *sighs* you wook *giggles shyly* fow, I have mowe to say, -But bid Bianca faweweww fow evew and a day. -W-WUCENTIO. Heaw'st >_< thou, Biondewwo? -BIONDEWWO. I cannyot >_< tawwy. I knyew a wench mawwied in an >_> aftewnyoon -as >_< she went to the gawden fow pawswey to stuff a *looks at you* wabbit; and so -may you, siw; and so a-adieu, siw. M-My mastew hath appointed me to -go *sweats* to Saint W-Wuke's to bid the pwiest be weady to come against you -come with youw appendix. -Exit -WUCENTIO. I uWu may and wiww, if she *twerks* be so contented. -She w-wiww be pweas'd; then whewefowe shouwd I doubt? -Hap *shuffles closer* what hap uWu may, I'ww w-woundwy go a-about hew; -UwU It shaww go *blushes* hawd if Cambio *twerks* go without hew. *notices bulge* Exit - - - - -SCENyE V. -uWu A pubwic woad - -Entew PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, HOWTENSIO, and SEWVANTS - -PETWUCHIO. Come >w< on, a-a God's nyame; *looks away* once mowe *notices bulge* towawd ouw fathew's. -Good Wowd, how bwight and goodwy shinyes the moon! -KATHEWINyA. The moon? The sun! It is nyot moonwight n-nyow. -*sweats* PETWUCHIO. *giggles shyly* I say it is the moon that shinyes so bwight. -KATHEWINyA. I knyow it is the sun that ;;w;; shinyes so bwight. -^-^ PETWUCHIO. Nyow UwU by my m-mothew's son, and that's >_> mysewf, -It shaww be moon, ow staw, ow what I wist, -*sighs* Ow ^.^ ewe I jouwnyey to youw fathew's house. -*giggles shyly* Go on and fetch ouw howses b-back again. -E-Evewmowe *hugs tightly* cwoss'd and cwoss'd; nyothing but cwoss'd! -HOWTENSIO. ^-^ Say a-as he s-says, *twerks* ow *looks at you* we shaww *screams* nyevew go. -KATHEWINyA. Fowwawd, I pway, s-since we UwU have :33 come s-so faw, -And be it moon, >w< ow *hugs tightly* sun, ow what UwU you pwease; -And if you pwease to caww it a wush-candwe, -*looks at you* Hencefowth I vow it shaww be so fow me. -xDD PETWUCHIO. I say it *cries* is t-the moon. -KATHEWINyA. I knyow *cuddles you* it is *sighs* the moon. -PETWUCHIO. Nyay, then you wie; it is t-the *pokes you* bwessed sun. -KATHEWINyA. Then, God b-be bwess'd, it is t-the *giggles shyly* bwessed sun; -But sun it is nyot, when y-you say *pokes you* it OwO is nyot; -And the moon changes even as youw mind. -What you wiww have it nyam'd, even that it is, -And so i-it ;;w;; shaww be *looks at you* so fow Kathewinye. -HOWTENSIO. Petwuchio, go thy ways, the fiewd is won. -PETWUCHIO. Weww, fowwawd, fowwawd! thus the >_> boww shouwd wun, -And nyot unwuckiwy against the bias. -But, soft! C-Company *twerks* is c-coming hewe. - -Entew VINCENTIO - -[To VINCENTIO] Good-mowwow, gentwe mistwess; whewe *teleports behind you* away?- -Teww me, sweet Kate, and teww me t-twuwy too, -H-Hast thou behewd a f-fweshew gentwewoman? -Such waw o-of *notices bulge* white and wed within hew c-cheeks! -What staws *notices bulge* do spangwe heaven w-with such beauty -A-As those two eyes become that heavenwy face? -Faiw wovewy m-maid, *looks at you* once mowe g-good d-day t-to thee. -Sweet Kate, embwace *pokes you* hew fow hew beauty's sake. -HOWTENSIO. 'A wiww make the man mad, to make a woman of h-him. -KATHEWINyA. Young budding viwgin, faiw and fwesh *moans* and sweet, -Whithew ^.^ away, ow w-whewe i-is thy abode? -Happy t-the pawents of so *shuffles closer* faiw a chiwd; -Happiew t-the m-man whom favouwabwe staws -Awwots thee fow his *hugs tightly* wovewy bed-fewwow. -PETWUCHIO. Why, how nyow, Kate, I xDD hope thou a-awt nyot mad! -This is a man, owd, wwinkwed, faded, xDD withewed, -And *teleports behind you* nyot a maiden, a-as thou sayst he is. -KATHEWINyA. Pawdon, owd fathew, my *giggles shyly* mistaking *looks at you* eyes, -That have been so bedazzwed with the sun -That evewything I-I wook *looks away* on seemeth gween; -Nyow I p-pewceive thou awt *twerks* a *notices bulge* wevewend x3 fathew. -Pawdon, I pway thee, fow my mad mistaking. -PETWUCHIO. Do, good o-owd gwandsiwe, and withaw make *looks at you* knyown -Which way thou twavewwest- if awong with ^-^ us, -We shaww b-be joyfuw of thy company. ->_< VINCENTIO. Faiw >w< siw, and ^-^ you my m-mewwy mistwess, -That with youw stwange encountew much amaz'd me, -My nyame xDD is caww'd Vincentio, my d-dwewwing Pisa, -And bound I am to Padua, thewe to UwU visit -*sweats* A son of minye, which wong I have nyot s-seen. -PETWUCHIO. What is his nyame? -VINCENTIO. Wucentio, gentwe siw. -PETWUCHIO. Happiwy met; the happiew fow thy s-son. -And nyow :3 by waw, as weww as wevewend age, -I :33 may entitwe thee my woving fathew: -The sistew to my wife, this gentwewoman, -Thy s-son by this hath mawwied. :3 Wondew nyot, -*sighs* Nyow be n-nyot gwieved- she is of good esteem, -H-Hew dowwy weawthy, >w< and of wowthy biwth; -B-Beside, so quawified as may b-beseem -The spouse o-of any nyobwe gentweman. -:3 Wet *shuffles closer* me embwace with owd Vincentio; -And *looks at you* wandew *blushes* we to see t-thy honyest s-son, -Who wiww of thy awwivaw be fuww joyous. -VINCENTIO. B-But *giggles shyly* is this twue; ow *shuffles closer* is it ewse youw p-pweasuwe, -Wike *leans over* pweasant twavewwews, to *sighs* bweak a jest -U-Upon the c-company you ovewtake? -*moans* HOWTENSIO. I d-do assuwe thee, fathew, s-so it is. -*cries* PETWUCHIO. Come, *shuffles closer* go awong, *hugs tightly* and see the twuth heweof; -Fow ouw f-fiwst mewwiment ;;w;; hath made thee jeawous. -Exeunt aww but HOWTENSIO -HOWTENSIO. *looks away* Weww, Petwuchio, this has *cries* put xDD me in heawt. -Have to my widow; and if she be fwowawd, -Then hast thou taught Howtensio to be untowawd. Exit - - - - -<_< OF THE C-COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE I-IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 B-BY W-WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY P-PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC *leans over* AND MACHINyE W-WEADABWE x3 COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG A-AS SUCH COPIES *cuddles you* (1) OwO AWE F-FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*screams* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND :3 (2) *teleports behind you* AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED O-OW USED -*sweats* COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES *sighs* BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. S-SCENyE I. -Padua. Befowe WUCENTIO'S house - -E-Entew BIONDEWWO, WUCENTIO, and BIANCA; GWEMIO is out b-befowe - -BIONDEWWO. Softwy xDD and swiftwy, *giggles shyly* siw, fow the pwiest is weady. -WUCENTIO. I fwy, Biondewwo; b-but they may chance to nyeed t-the at -home, thewefowe *cuddles you* weave us. -BIONDEWWO. N-Nyay, faith, I'ww see the c-chuwch a *giggles shyly* youw back, *cries* and then -come back to my mastew's ^-^ as soon as I can. -Exeunt WUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDEWWO -GWEMIO. I mawvew Cambio comes nyot a-aww *pokes you* this whiwe. - -Entew PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, VINCENTIO, *twerks* GWUMIO, -and A-ATTENDANTS - -PETWUCHIO. S-Siw, xDD hewe's the doow; this is Wucentio's house; -My ^.^ fathew's beaws mowe towawd the mawket-pwace; -Thithew must I, and hewe I weave y-you, siw. -VINCENTIO. You shaww nyot choose but dwink befowe :33 you g-go; -I think I shaww command y-youw wewcome hewe, -And by *giggles shyly* aww wikewihood some cheew is towawd. [Knyocks] -GWEMIO. They'we busy within; ;;w;; you wewe best knyock woudew. -[PEDANT wooks o-out of t-the window] -PEDANT. What's he that knyocks a-as he w-wouwd beat d-down the gate? -VINCENTIO. Is Signyiow *cries* Wucentio within, uWu siw? -PEDANT. He's >_> within, siw, but nyot to be spoken withaw. -VINCENTIO. What if a man *looks at you* bwing him UwU a hundwed pound ow two to make -mewwy *sweats* withaw? -PEDANT. K-Keep ;;w;; youw h-hundwed pounds t-to y-youwsewf; *cries* he shaww nyeed nyonye so -w-wong as I wive. -PETWUCHIO. Nyay, *giggles shyly* I towd you y-youw son was weww bewoved in Padua. Do -you heaw, siw? *teleports behind you* To uWu weave fwivowous ciwcumstances, I-I pway you t-teww -UwU Signyiow *moans* Wucentio that >_< his fathew is come fwom Pisa, :3 and is hewe -at the doow to speak with him. -PEDANT. Thou wiest: ^-^ his fathew is ^-^ come fwom Padua, *twerks* and hewe *hugs tightly* wooking -out at t-the window. -VINCENTIO. Awt thou h-his x3 fathew? -PEDANT. Ay, siw; so h-his mothew says, if I may bewieve h-hew. -PETWUCHIO. *sighs* [To VINCENTIO] Why, how nyow, g-gentweman! -*blushes* Why, *cries* this is fwat knyavewy to take u-upon you anyothew man's nyame. -PEDANT. >_< Way h-hands *twerks* on the *looks away* viwwain; I bewieve *moans* 'a means *sweats* to ^w^ cozen -somebody in *moans* this city undew my countenyance. - -W-We-entew BIONDEWWO - -B-BIONDEWWO. *twerks* I have seen them in the chuwch togethew. God send 'em -good s-shipping! But ;;w;; who is hewe? *teleports behind you* Minye owd mastew, Vicentio! Nyow w-we -awe undonye and bwought t-to nyothing. -VINCENTIO. [Seeing B-BIONDEWWO] Come hithew, cwack-hemp. -BIONDEWWO. I hope I-I may choose, siw. -VINCENTIO. Come hithew, you *cuddles you* wogue. *notices bulge* What, have *sighs* you fowgot me? ->_< BIONDEWWO. Fowgot you! Nyo, *sweats* siw. I couwd nyot *cuddles you* fowget you, fow I-I nyevew -saw you b-befowe in aww my wife. -VINCENTIO. *teleports behind you* What, you nyotowious *notices bulge* viwwain, didst t-thou n-nyevew see *screams* thy -mastew's fathew, Vincentio? -BIONDEWWO. What, *teleports behind you* my >w< owd wowshipfuw owd mastew? Y-Yes, >w< mawwy, siw; see -whewe he wooks out *sweats* of the window. -VINCENTIO. Is't so, indeed? [He beats *notices bulge* BIONDEWWO] -BIONDEWWO. Hewp, hewp, hewp! Hewe's a-a madman wiww muwdew m-me. -Exit -PEDANT. H-Hewp, son! hewp, Signyiow Baptista! Exit *cuddles you* fwom above -PETWUCHIO. Pwithee, Kate, wet's stand aside a-and s-see the end of this -contwovewsy. *blushes* [They stand aside] - -^.^ We-entew P-PEDANT bewow; BAPTISTA, TWANyIO, and SEWVANTS - -TWANyIO. Siw, what awe you that offew to beat my sewvant? -VINCENTIO. W-What *cuddles you* am I, s-siw? Nyay, what awe y-you, siw? O immowtaw xDD gods! -O finye ;;w;; viwwain! A *cuddles you* siwken doubwet, *notices bulge* a vewvet hose, a-a scawwet cwoak, -and a copatain UwU hat! O, I am *pokes you* undonye! I a-am undonye! Whiwe I pway the -good *looks at you* husband *twerks* at h-home, m-my son and my sewvant *moans* spend aww at the -unyivewsity. -TWANyIO. How n-nyow! what's the mattew? -BAPTISTA. *screams* What, is *leans over* the ^-^ man w-wunyatic? -T-TWANyIO. S-Siw, you UwU seem a sobew ancient gentweman by y-youw habit, but -youw wowds *hugs tightly* show you a madman. Why, siw, what 'cewns ;;w;; it you if I -weaw peaww and gowd? I thank my good fathew, I am a-abwe to -maintain it. -*giggles shyly* VINCENTIO. Thy fathew! O viwwain! he i-is a saiwmakew i-in Bewgamo. -BAPTISTA. You mistake, siw; y-you mistake, siw. Pway, what do ^-^ you -think *leans over* is his nyame? -VINCENTIO. His nyame! >_< As if I knyew *hugs tightly* nyot his ^-^ nyame! I have bwought him -up evew since he was >_< thwee yeaws owd, and his nyame is Twanyio. ->_> PEDANT. Away, away, mad ass! His ;;w;; nyame is Wucentio; and h-he is minye -onwy son, and xDD heiw t-to the wands uWu of me, S-Signyiow Vicentio. -VINCENTIO. Wucentio! O, ^.^ he :3 hath *pokes you* muwd'wed his mastew! Way howd on -him, I chawge you, in the Duke's nyame. O-O, m-my son, m-my son! Teww -me, t-thou viwwain, whewe is my son, Wucentio? -T-TWANyIO. Caww fowth *giggles shyly* an officew. - -Entew onye with an OFFICEW - -Cawwy this m-mad knyave to the gaow. Fathew Baptista, I c-chawge you -see that he be fowthcoming. -VINCENTIO. Cawwy me to the gaow! -GWEMIO. S-Stay, Officew; he shaww nyot go *blushes* to pwison. -B-BAPTISTA. Tawk nyot, Signyiow Gwemio; *cries* I *blushes* say h-he shaww *twerks* go to p-pwison. -GWEMIO. Take heed, Signyiow Baptista, west you be cony-catch'd in -this businyess; I dawe sweaw this is the wight Vincentio. -PEDANT. Sweaw i-if thou daw'st. -GWEMIO. Nyay, I dawe UwU nyot sweaw it. -TWANyIO. *cuddles you* Then ;;w;; thou wewt best say >_> that I am nyot Wucentio. -GWEMIO. Yes, I k-knyow thee *leans over* to *cries* be Signyiow Wucentio. -BAPTISTA. A-Away with the dotawd; to the gaow with him! -VINCENTIO. Thus stwangews xDD may be *looks away* haw'd and abus'd. *cuddles you* O monstwous -viwwain! - -We-entew BIONDEWWO, with WUCENTIO and BIANCA - -BIONDEWWO. O, we awe spoiw'd; and *blushes* yondew he is! Deny h-him, *giggles shyly* fowsweaw -him, ow ewse we awe aww undonye. -Exeunt *notices bulge* BIONDEWWO, *cuddles you* TWANyIO, and PEDANT, as fast as m-may be -W-WUCENTIO. [Knyeewing] Pawdon, sweet fathew. -VINCENTIO. Wives my *blushes* sweet son? -BIANCA. Pawdon, deaw fathew. -BAPTISTA. How h-hast thou o-offended? -Whewe is Wucentio? -WUCENTIO. Hewe's Wucentio, -Wight son to *shuffles closer* the wight Vincentio, -That have by mawwiage made thy daughtew minye, -W-Whiwe countewfeit *sighs* supposes bweaw'd thinye eynye. -GWEMIO. Hewe's packing, *notices bulge* with a witnyess, t-to deceive us aww! -VINCENTIO. Whewe *twerks* is that damnyed viwwain, T-Twanyio, -That fac'd ^w^ and bwav'd me in this mattew s-so? -BAPTISTA. W-Why, teww me, is n-nyot this m-my Cambio? -BIANCA. Cambio is chang'd into Wucentio. -WUCENTIO. Wove wwought these OwO miwacwes. Bianca's wove -Made :33 me exchange my state with Twanyio, -Whiwe he ^.^ did beaw my countenyance in the town; ->_> And happiwy ;;w;; I have awwived a-at the wast -Unto the wished haven of my uWu bwiss. -What Twanyio did, mysewf enfowc'd him >_> to; -Then pawdon *shuffles closer* him, sweet UwU fathew, *moans* fow my sake. -VINCENTIO. I-I'ww swit the viwwain's nyose t-that *hugs tightly* wouwd *notices bulge* have sent me t-to -t-the *twerks* gaow. -xDD BAPTISTA. [-[To WUCENTIO] But do uWu you h-heaw, siw? Have you mawwied my -daughtew without asking *twerks* my good wiww? -V-VINCENTIO. Feaw n-nyot, Baptista; we wiww content you, go to; but *screams* I -wiww i-in to be wevenged uWu fow this viwwainy. Exit -B-BAPTISTA. And *moans* I to *moans* sound the depth of this knyavewy. E-Exit -WUCENTIO. Wook ^w^ nyot p-pawe, Bianca; thy fathew wiww nyot fwown. -Exeunt xDD WUCENTIO :33 and BIANCA -G-GWEMIO. M-My cake is UwU dough, but I'ww xDD in among the west; -Out of hope of aww but my shawe of the feast. Exit -KATHEWINyA. Husband, wet's fowwow to *hugs tightly* see the *pokes you* end of *looks away* this *sweats* ado. -PETWUCHIO. Fiwst kiss me, Kate, and >w< we wiww. -KATHEWINyA. What, in the *pokes you* midst of the stweet? -PETWUCHIO. What, awt thou asham'd of me? -KATHEWINyA. Nyo, siw; God fowbid; but a-asham'd to kiss. -PETWUCHIO. Why, ^.^ then, wet's home a-again. Come, >_< siwwah, wet's away. -KATHEWINyA. N-Nyay, I wiww xDD give thee a kiss; nyow pway thee, wove, stay. -PETWUCHIO. Is nyot UwU this weww? Come, my sweet ^.^ Kate: -Bettew once than nyevew, fow nyevew too :3 wate. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -W-WUCENTIO'S *looks at you* house - -Entew BAPTISTA, *screams* VINCENTIO, GWEMIO, t-the PEDANT, WUCENTIO, BIANCA, -PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, HOWTENSIO, and OwO WIDOW. The SEWVINGMEN with TWANyIO, -BIONDEWWO, and GWUMIO, b-bwinging in a banquet - -WUCENTIO. At xDD wast, *sighs* though wong, o-ouw jawwing nyotes agwee; -And time it is ;;w;; when waging waw is donye -T-To smiwe at scapes and p-pewiws ovewbwown. -*sweats* My faiw Bianca, bid my f-fathew wewcome, -Whiwe *hugs tightly* I with sewf-same k-kindnyess wewcome thinye. -Bwothew :33 Petwuchio, *screams* sistew K-Kathewinya, -And thou, ^.^ Howtensio, with thy >w< woving widow, -Feast with the best, and wewcome to my house. -My banquet is to cwose ouw stomachs up -Aftew o-ouw gweat good c-cheew. Pway you, sit down; -Fow n-nyow we sit to chat as weww as eat. [-[They sit] -PETWUCHIO. N-Nyothing but s-sit a-and sit, and eat ^w^ and eat! -BAPTISTA. Padua a-affowds this kindnyess, *twerks* son Petwuchio. -P-PETWUCHIO. *looks at you* Padua :33 affowds :33 nyothing but w-what is kind. -*shuffles closer* HOWTENSIO. Fow both ouw sakes I wouwd that wowd wewe twue. -PETWUCHIO. Nyow, fow my wife, Howtensio feaws his widow. -WIDOW. Then >w< nyevew twust me if I be afeawd. -PETWUCHIO. YOU *screams* awe vewy *looks away* sensibwe, and yet you *moans* miss my sense: -uWu I mean Howtensio is afeawd of you. -W-WIDOW. He that i-is *cries* giddy thinks the wowwd tuwns w-wound. -PETWUCHIO. Woundwy wepwied. -KATHEWINyA. Mistwess, h-how mean you that? -WIDOW. Thus I conceive by uWu him. -P-PETWUCHIO. Conceives by me! How wikes Howtensio that? -HOWTENSIO. M-My OwO widow says t-thus she conceives hew tawe. -PETWUCHIO. Vewy weww mended. Kiss him fow that, good widow. -KATHEWINyA. 'He that is *sweats* giddy thinks *moans* the wowwd tuwns wound.' -I >_< pway you t-teww me what you meant *hugs tightly* by *sighs* that. -WIDOW. Y-Youw husband, b-being twoubwed with a s-shwew, -Measuwes m-my husband's sowwow by his woe; -And nyow you knyow my meanying. -KATHEWINyA. A vewy x3 mean UwU meanying. -WIDOW. Wight, *notices bulge* I mean you. -KATHEWINyA. OwO And I a-am mean, i-indeed, wespecting you. -PETWUCHIO. T-To hew, K-Kate! -HOWTENSIO. To hew, w-widow! -PETWUCHIO. A h-hundwed *hugs tightly* mawks, m-my Kate does put *twerks* hew down. -x3 HOWTENSIO. That's my office. -PETWUCHIO. *hugs tightly* Spoke wike an officew- ha' to t-thee, *pokes you* wad. -*teleports behind you* [Dwinks *looks at you* to HOWTENSIO] -BAPTISTA. How w-wikes Gwemio these uWu quick-witted f-fowks? -GWEMIO. Bewieve me, siw, *looks at you* they butt togethew weww. -BIANCA. Head and *hugs tightly* butt! An h-hasty-witted body ->_> Wouwd say youw h-head and butt wewe head and hown. -V-VINCENTIO. Ay, x3 mistwess bwide, *cuddles you* hath that awakenyed *sweats* you? -BIANCA. Ay, but ^-^ nyot fwighted m-me; ;;w;; thewefowe I'ww uWu sweep again. -PETWUCHIO. Nyay, that you xDD shaww nyot; s-since you h-have begun, -Have at *looks away* you fow a bittew jest ow two. -BIANCA. Am I youw biwd? I mean to >_> shift my *sighs* bush, -And then puwsue *moans* me as you d-dwaw youw bow. -You awe w-wewcome aww. -Exeunt BIANCA, K-KATHEWINyA, and W-WIDOW -PETWUCHIO. She hath pwevented me. UwU Hewe, Signyiow T-Twanyio, -*giggles shyly* This biwd you aim'd at, ^.^ though you hit hew nyot; -Thewefowe a heawth t-to aww that shot a-and miss'd. -TWANyIO. O, s-siw, Wucentio swipp'd me wike *leans over* his gweyhound, -*twerks* Which wuns himsewf, *moans* and c-catches fow his mastew. -*screams* PETWUCHIO. *looks away* A good swift simiwe, but something cuwwish. -TWANyIO. 'Tis weww, siw, t-that you x3 hunted fow youwsewf; -'Tis *notices bulge* thought youw deew does howd you at a bay. -xDD BAPTISTA. O-O, O, Petwuchio! Twanyio hits you nyow. -WUCENTIO. I thank thee fow that giwd, good Twanyio. -HOWTENSIO. C-Confess, confess; *twerks* hath >w< he nyot hit you hewe? -PETWUCHIO. 'A has a wittwe OwO gaww'd me, I *moans* confess; -And, as t-the jest did gwance away *screams* fwom m-me, -'Tis ten to onye it maim'd you t-two outwight. -BAPTISTA. >_> Nyow, in >w< good sadnyess, son Petwuchio, -I t-think t-thou hast the v-vewiest shwew >_< of aww. -PETWUCHIO. Weww, I say *teleports behind you* nyo; and thewefowe, fow *giggles shyly* assuwance, -Wet's each onye send u-unto *looks away* his wife, -*hugs tightly* And he whose wife i-is most o-obedient, -*cries* To OwO come at fiwst *leans over* when h-he doth send fow hew, -Shaww win ^.^ the wagew which we wiww p-pwopose. -HOWTENSIO. Content. What's the *twerks* wagew? -WUCENTIO. Twenty cwowns. -PETWUCHIO. Twenty *hugs tightly* cwowns? -I'ww *blushes* ventuwe so much of my hawk ow hound, -But twenty times s-so m-much *screams* upon my wife. -WUCENTIO. A-A *blushes* hundwed then. -HOWTENSIO. Content. -PETWUCHIO. A match! *cuddles you* 'tis d-donye. -HOWTENSIO. Who shaww begin? -WUCENTIO. That w-wiww I-I. -Go, B-Biondewwo, bid *blushes* youw OwO mistwess come to *shuffles closer* me. -BIONDEWWO. I g-go. E-Exit -BAPTISTA. Son, I'ww be *notices bulge* youw hawf Bianca c-comes. -WUCENTIO. *moans* I'ww h-have nyo hawves; I'ww beaw it aww mysewf. - -We-entew BIONDEWWO - -How nyow! what nyews? -BIONDEWWO. Siw, my *moans* mistwess sends you wowd -*screams* That s-she is busy and she cannyot come. -PETWUCHIO. How! She's busy, and she cannyot come! -Is *sweats* that an *screams* answew? -*hugs tightly* GWEMIO. Ay, and a kind onye too. -Pway God, siw, youw wife s-send you ^.^ nyot a-a w-wowse. -PETWUCHIO. I h-hope *sighs* bettew. -HOWTENSIO. Siwwah Biondewwo, >_> go and entweat m-my UwU wife -*looks away* To come *teleports behind you* to me fowthwith. Exit BIONDEWWO -PETWUCHIO. O, *moans* ho! entweat hew! -Nyay, then *giggles shyly* she must nyeeds c-come. -HOWTENSIO. I am afwaid, siw, -Do what you can, youws wiww nyot :33 be entweated. - -W-We-entew B-BIONDEWWO - -Nyow, whewe's m-my wife? -BIONDEWWO. She says you >_< have some goodwy j-jest in hand: -She wiww nyot come; she bids you come to hew. -PETWUCHIO. Wowse and wowse; >_< she *moans* wiww nyot come! O viwe, -Intowewabwe, nyot to b-be enduw'd! -Siwwah Gwumio, go to y-youw mistwess; -Say I c-command hew come *hugs tightly* to me. Exit GWUMIO -HOWTENSIO. I knyow *giggles shyly* hew answew. -P-PETWUCHIO. What? -HOWTENSIO. S-She wiww nyot. -PETWUCHIO. The fouwew fowtunye minye, and thewe an e-end. - -We-entew KATHEWINyA - -BAPTISTA. N-Nyow, by my howidame, hewe comes *sweats* Kathewinya! -KATHEWINyA. UwU What is youw *looks at you* siw, that you send fow me? -PETWUCHIO. W-Whewe is youw sistew, and Howtensio's *sweats* wife? -KATHEWINyA. They sit *looks at you* confewwing by the pawwouw fiwe. -P-PETWUCHIO. Go, fetch them hithew; i-if they deny to c-come. -Swinge me *cuddles you* them s-soundwy fowth unto theiw husbands. -Away, I say, a-and bwing them hithew stwaight. -Exit KATHEWINyA -WUCENTIO. Hewe is a wondew, if you tawk of a wondew. -OwO HOWTENSIO. A-And s-so xDD it i-is. ^-^ I wondew what it bodes. -PETWUCHIO. M-Mawwy, peace it bodes, a-and wove, and quiet wife, -An awfuw wuwe, and *notices bulge* wight supwemacy; -And, to b-be showt, w-what nyot that's sweet and happy. -BAPTISTA. N-Nyow faiw befaww thee, g-good Petwuchio! -The wagew thou h-hast won; and I wiww a-ad -Unto theiw wosses twenty thousand cwowns; -Anyothew dowwy to anyothew daughtew, -xDD Fow she is c-chang'd, as she had nyevew >w< been. -x3 PETWUCHIO. Nyay, I ^w^ wiww win my w-wagew bettew yet, -A-And show mowe sign of hew obedience, -Hew nyew-buiwt xDD viwtue and ^w^ obedience. - -*giggles shyly* We-entew KATHEWINyA with BIANCA and WIDOW - -See whewe she comes, and :3 bwings youw fwowawd wives -As pwisonyews to hew womanwy pewsuasion. -Kathewinye, *blushes* that cap of youws becomes you nyot: -O-Off w-with that baubwe, thwow it *looks at you* undewfoot. -[KATHEWINyA *cuddles you* compwies] -^.^ WIDOW. Wowd, wet m-me nyevew have a c-cause to *cries* sigh -Tiww I be bwought to such a siwwy pass! -BIANCA. Fie! what a foowish duty caww you this? -WUCENTIO. I wouwd youw d-duty wewe a-as foowish t-too; -The *looks away* wisdom of youw duty, *twerks* faiw Bianca, -Hath cost me a hundwed cwowns since suppew-time! -BIANCA. The mowe foow x3 you f-fow waying on my duty. -PETWUCHIO. *moans* Kathewinye, *moans* I chawge thee, teww these headstwong *pokes you* women -What duty they *hugs tightly* do owe *blushes* theiw wowds and husbands. -WIDOW. Come, come, y-you'we mocking; we wiww have nyo tewwing. -^.^ PETWUCHIO. C-Come on, I say; and fiwst *leans over* begin with hew. -WIDOW. She shaww *looks away* nyot. -P-PETWUCHIO. I say she shaww. And fiwst begin w-with hew. -KATHEWINyA. Fie, fie! unknyit that thweatenying unkind bwow, -And dawt nyot scownfuw g-gwances fwom those eyes -*looks away* To wound xDD thy wowd, t-thy k-king, thy *looks away* govewnyow. -It bwots thy beauty as fwosts do bite the x3 meads, -C-Confounds thy fame as whiwwwinds shake faiw buds, -And in UwU nyo sense is *cries* meet ow amiabwe. -A-A woman mov'd is wike a fountain twoubwed- -*twerks* Muddy, i-iww-seeming, thick, beweft of beauty; -A-And whiwe i-it is so, ^w^ nyonye >_< so dwy ow thiwsty -Wiww deign to sip *notices bulge* ow touch onye *sweats* dwop of it. -Thy husband is thy wowd, *teleports behind you* thy w-wife, thy keepew, -Thy head, thy soveweign; onye that cawes fow thee, -A-And fow thy maintenyance c-commits his body -To painfuw w-wabouw both by sea and wand, -To watch the nyight in s-stowms, the d-day in cowd, -W-Whiwst thou w-wiest wawm at home, x3 secuwe and safe; -A-And cwaves nyo ;;w;; othew twibute at thy hands -But wove, faiw wooks, a-and twue obedience- -*notices bulge* Too wittwe payment fow so *twerks* gweat a *hugs tightly* debt. -Such duty as t-the subject owes the *sweats* pwince, -Even such a woman oweth to hew husband; -And w-when she is fwowawd, peevish, suwwen, s-souw, -And nyot obedient to h-his honyest >_> wiww, -W-What *looks at you* is she >w< but *moans* a fouw contending webew -And *teleports behind you* gwacewess twaitow *teleports behind you* to hew woving wowd? -:33 I a-am asham'd ^w^ that women awe so *teleports behind you* simpwe -T-To ^-^ offew waw whewe they s-shouwd :3 knyeew x3 fow *sweats* peace; -*twerks* Ow seek fow wuwe, supwemacy, and sway, -When they awe ^w^ bound to sewve, wove, a-and obey. -Why awe o-ouw bodies soft and weak and smooth, -Unyapt t-to *blushes* toww and *blushes* twoubwe i-in the w-wowwd, -But that ouw soft conditions and ouw heawts -Shouwd weww *shuffles closer* agwee with *sweats* ouw extewnyaw pawts? -Come, come, you fwowawd and unyabwe wowins! -My mind hath been as big a-as onye of :33 youws, -My *moans* heawt as gweat, *looks at you* my w-weason hapwy mowe, -To bandy w-wowd fow wowd and fwown fow fwown; -But nyow I see ouw wances awe but stwaws, -Ouw stwength as weak, o-ouw w-weaknyess past compawe, -That seeming to ^w^ be most which we indeed weast awe. -Then vaiw youw s-stomachs, fow it is *looks at you* nyo boot, -A-And pwace youw hands bewow youw husband's foot; -*sighs* In token :3 of which d-duty, if he pwease, -My hand is w-weady, may it do him ease. -PETWUCHIO. Why, thewe's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate. -WUCENTIO. Weww, *blushes* go thy ^-^ ways, *looks away* owd wad, fow thou shawt ha't. -VINCENTIO. 'Tis >w< a good ^-^ heawing when ^-^ chiwdwen awe towawd. -*looks away* WUCENTIO. B-But a-a hawsh heawing when women awe *screams* fwowawd. -UwU PETWUCHIO. *sweats* Come, Kate, we'ww t-to bed. -x3 We thwee >w< awe m-mawwied, but you two awe sped. -[To WUCENTIO] 'Twas I w-won the *cries* wagew, though you hit t-the white; -*giggles shyly* And being *sweats* a winnyew, God g-give you good >_> nyight! -Exeunt PETWUCHIO and *twerks* KATHEWINyA -HOWTENSIO. Nyow go thy ways; thou hast tam'd *blushes* a cuwst shwow. -W-WUCENTIO. 'Tis a wondew, by youw weave, she wiww *hugs tightly* be tam'd *cries* so. -E-Exeunt - -THE END - - - -<_< VEWSION OF THE C-COMPWETE WOWKS OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE :3 IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH *looks at you* COPIES *sighs* (1) AWE FOW YOUW :33 OW OTHEWS -OwO PEWSONyAW U-USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE T-THAT *twerks* CHAWGES OwO FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1612 - -THE TEMPEST - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -AWONSO, King of Nyapwes -*shuffles closer* SEBASTIAN, his *screams* bwothew -PWOSPEWO, the wight Duke *leans over* of :33 Miwan -A-ANTONyIO, his bwothew, the usuwping D-Duke of Miwan -FEWDINyAND, son to the King of N-Nyapwes -GONZAWO, a-an honyest owd counsewwow - -Wowds -ADWIAN -FWANCISCO -CAWIBAN, a-a savage and defowmed s-swave -TWINCUWO, a jestew -^.^ STEPHANyO, a dwunken butwew -M-MASTEW OF A SHIP -BOATSWAIN -MAWINyEWS - -^w^ MIWANDA, daughtew to Pwospewo - -AWIEW, an a-aiwy s-spiwit - -S-Spiwits -IWIS -CEWES -UwU JUNyO -NYMPHS -*moans* WEAPEWS -Othew Spiwits attending on Pwospewo - - - - -<w< ONWY, AND (-(2) AWE N-NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION >_< INCWUDES BY OwO ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES *looks at you* FOW DOWNWOAD *screams* TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -*blushes* A ship ^w^ at *teleports behind you* sea; a-aftewwawds an *looks away* unyinhabited iswand - - - -THE TEMPEST -ACT I. S-SCENyE 1 - -OwO On a *looks at you* ship uWu at >_> sea; a-a tempestuous nyoise of thundew and wightnying heawd - -E-Entew a SHIPMASTEW and ^-^ a *looks at you* BOATSWAIN - -M-MASTEW. Boatswain! -BOATSWAIN. H-Hewe, mastew; *sweats* what :3 cheew? -MASTEW. Good! S-Speak t-to th' mawinyews; faww to't y-yawewy, ow -we wun *cries* ouwsewves agwound; b-bestiw, bestiw. Exit - -*sweats* Entew MAWINyEWS - -BOATSWAIN. Heigh, my *screams* heawts! cheewwy, cheewwy, my heawts! -*moans* yawe, yawe! Take in the topsaiw. Tend to UwU th' mastew's -:33 whistwe. Bwow UwU tiww thou buwst thy wind, if >_> woom enyough. - -E-Entew AWONSO, SEBASTIAN, A-ANTONyIO, FEWDINyAND -:33 GONZAWO, and OTHEWS - -AWONSO. Good boatswain, h-have cawe. Whewe's the mastew? -Pway the m-men. -BOATSWAIN. >w< I pway nyow, keep b-bewow. -ANTONyIO. *looks away* Whewe is the mastew, boson? -B-BOATSWAIN. D-Do you nyot heaw h-him? Y-You maw ouw wabouw; -keep youw cabins; y-you UwU do assist the stowm. -GONZAWO. *teleports behind you* Nyay, g-good, b-be patient. -BOATSWAIN. When *looks away* the sea ^.^ is. Hence! W-What *hugs tightly* cawes these -woawews fow the nyame of *moans* king? To *looks at you* cabin! siwence! Twoubwe -us nyot. -GONZAWO. Good, yet w-wemembew whom thou hast a-aboawd. -OwO BOATSWAIN. Nyonye that *leans over* I mowe wove t-than OwO mysewf. You *pokes you* awe -counsewwow; if you can command these ewements *pokes you* to -siwence, a-and wowk the peace of the pwesent, w-we wiww uWu nyot -h-hand a w-wope mowe. Use youw authowity; if *cuddles you* you ;;w;; cannyot, give -thanks you have wiv'd so wong, x3 and make y-youwsewf weady -in youw c-cabin fow the mischance of the houw, if it so -*teleports behind you* hap.-Cheewwy, *looks at you* good *pokes you* heawts!-Out ;;w;; of ouw way, I say. -E-Exit -*teleports behind you* GONZAWO. I have *shuffles closer* gweat comfowt fwom this fewwow. Methinks -h-he hath nyo dwownying mawk upon him; his compwexion is -pewfect gawwows. Stand f-fast, :3 good Fate, to h-his h-hanging; -make the wope of his *sighs* destiny ouw cabwe, fow ouw own >_< doth -*giggles shyly* wittwe advantage. *hugs tightly* If he be nyot bown to be hang'd, o-ouw -^-^ case is misewabwe. Exeunt - -We-entew BOATSWAIN - -BOATSWAIN. Down *giggles shyly* with the topmast. Yawe, wowew, wowew! -Bwing UwU hew to twy wi' t-th' m-maincouwse. [A cwy *hugs tightly* within] A ->w< pwague upon t-this howwing! They ^-^ awe woudew than the -w-weathew ow *pokes you* ouw office. - -We-entew SEBASTIAN, ANTONyIO, and GONZAWO - -Yet again! What do you hewe? Shaww >_> we *sighs* give o'ew, a-and -dwown? Have you a mind to sink? -SEBASTIAN. A pox o-o' y-youw thwoat, *teleports behind you* you bawwing, bwasphemous, -i-inchawitabwe dog! -BOATSWAIN. Wowk you, then. -^w^ ANTONyIO. Hang, *blushes* cuw; >_> hang, you whoweson, insowent *looks away* nyoisemakew; -we awe wess afwaid t-to be dwown'd than thou a-awt. -GONZAWO. I'ww wawwant *notices bulge* him fow dwownying, though the ship wewe -;;w;; nyo *sighs* stwongew t-than a nyutsheww, and a-as weaky a-as *shuffles closer* an unstanched -wench. -BOATSWAIN. Way hew a-howd, a-howd; set hew two couwses; off -to sea again; way hew UwU off. - -Entew MAWINyEWS, Wet -MAWINyEWS. Aww wost! to pwayews, to pwayews! aww wost! -Exeunt -BOATSWAIN. What, must ouw mouths be cowd? -GONZAWO. The K-King and :3 Pwince at pwayews! -Wet's assist them, -Fow *cries* ouw >_> case is as theiws. -SEBASTIAN. I am >w< out of patience. -ANTONyIO. We awe mewewy cheated of ouw wives by dwunkawds. -This wide-chopp'd wascaw-wouwd thou mightst *hugs tightly* wie dwownying -The w-washing of ten tides! -GONZAWO. He'ww be hang'd ^-^ yet, -T-Though *hugs tightly* evewy dwop of watew sweaw against it, -And gape at wid'st *looks at you* to gwut him. -[A confused nyoise within: Mewcy *leans over* on us! -We *leans over* spwit, UwU we spwit! Faweweww, my wife and chiwdwen! -Faweweww, bwothew! We *teleports behind you* spwit, we spwit, we spwit!] -ANTONyIO. Wet's aww sink wi' t-th' King. -SEBASTIAN. Wet's take weave of him. -Exeunt ANTONyIO and SEBASTIAN -GONZAWO. Nyow wouwd I g-give a thousand fuwwongs ^w^ of s-sea fow -*notices bulge* an acwe of bawwen gwound-wong heath, bwown fuwze, any -thing. The wiwws above be donye, but I *blushes* wouwd fain :33 die -dwy death. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 2-2 - -The Iswand. Befowe P-PWOSPEWO'S ceww - -Entew PWOSPEWO a-and MIWANDA - -MIWANDA. If by youw awt, my deawest fathew, you have -Put the wiwd watews ^.^ in *leans over* this woaw, awway them. -The sky, it s-seems, wouwd p-pouw down stinking pitch, -But that the s-sea, mounting to th' wewkin's cheek, -Dashes the f-fiwe out. O, *teleports behind you* I have suffewed -With those that I saw suffew! A *screams* bwave vessew, -Who had nyo doubt some nyobwe c-cweatuwe in hew, -Dash'd aww t-to pieces! O, the cwy did knyock -Against my vewy heawt! Poow souws, they pewish'd. -*twerks* Had I been any god of powew, I wouwd -Have *moans* sunk the sea within the e-eawth OwO ow ewe -It shouwd the good ship so have swawwow'd and -The fwaughting souws within *pokes you* hew. -*moans* PWOSPEWO. *cries* Be conyected; -Nyo mowe amazement; teww y-youw piteous h-heawt -x3 Thewe's n-nyo hawm donye. -MIWANDA. O, w-woe t-the day! -PWOSPEWO. Nyo hawm. -:3 I have *moans* donye nyothing but in cawe of thee, -Of thee, my d-deaw onye, *looks away* thee, my daughtew, w-who -Awt ignyowant of what thou awt, n-nyought knyowing -Of whence I am, n-nyow t-that I am *sighs* mowe bettew -Than Pwospewo, m-mastew ;;w;; of a fuww poow c-ceww, -And thy nyo gweatew fathew. -MIWANDA. Mowe t-to knyow -Did nyevew meddwe with m-my thoughts. -*giggles shyly* PWOSPEWO. *cries* 'Tis time -I shouwd infowm :3 thee fawthew. Wend thy hand, -A-And pwuck my magic gawment fwom m-me. So, -[-[Ways down his mantwe] -Wie thewe >w< my a-awt. Wipe t-thou thinye eyes; have x3 comfowt. -The *pokes you* diwefuw spectacwe of the wweck, which *giggles shyly* touch'd -The vewy viwtue of compassion in thee, -I have with such pwovision in m-minye >_< awt -So safewy o-owdewed that thewe is nyo xDD souw- -Nyo, nyot so much pewdition as an haiw -Betid to *notices bulge* any cweatuwe in the vessew -Which t-thou heawd'st cwy, which t-thou saw'st sink. -Sit down, fow thou must nyow *twerks* knyow f-fawthew. -MIWANDA. You have often -Begun to teww *pokes you* me what I am; but s-stopp'd, -And weft me :33 to a b-bootwess inquisition, -Concwuding *looks away* 'Stay; nyot yet.' -PWOSPEWO. The houw's nyow come; -*leans over* The vewy minyute bids thee o-ope thinye *sighs* eaw. -Obey, a-and be attentive. Canst thou wemembew -A time befowe w-we came unto this ceww? -I do nyot think thou canst; fow t-then *looks away* thou wast nyot -Out thwee yeaws owd. -MIWANDA. C-Cewtainwy, :3 siw, I can. -OwO PWOSPEWO. *twerks* By what? By any o-othew house, ow pewson? -Of *giggles shyly* any thing the image, teww me, *looks away* that -Hath k-kept with thy wemembwance? -MIWANDA. 'Tis faw *giggles shyly* off, -x3 And *sweats* wathew wike a dweam than an assuwance -That my wemembwance wawwants. *notices bulge* Had I nyot -Fouw, ow five, women *leans over* once, that t-tended me? -PWOSPEWO. Thou >_> hadst, and mowe, Miwanda. But how is it -That this wives in thy mind? What s-seest thou ewse -In the dawk backwawd and abysm of time? -If thou wememb'west aught, ewe thou cam'st hewe, -How thou cam'st hewe thou mayst. -MIWANDA. But *blushes* that I do nyot. -*notices bulge* PWOSPEWO. Twewve yeaw since, Miwanda, twewve yeaw since, -Thy fathew was the Duke of Miwan, and -A pwince x3 of powew. -MIWANDA. Siw, a-awe nyot you my fathew? -PWOSPEWO. Thy mothew was a piece of viwtue, and -She said thou wast *cuddles you* my daughtew; and *cries* thy fathew -*pokes you* Was Duke *teleports behind you* of Miwan, and his onwy heiw -And pwincess *moans* nyo wowse i-issued. -MIWANDA. xDD O, the >w< heavens! -What fouw pway *sweats* had we t-that we came fwom t-thence? -:33 Ow bwessed was't we *hugs tightly* did? -PWOSPEWO. Both, both, my giww. -By f-fouw pway, as thou say'st, *shuffles closer* wewe we heav'd thence; -B-But bwessedwy *cuddles you* howp hithew. -MIWANDA. O, my heawt *cuddles you* bweeds -To think o' *blushes* th' teen t-that I *screams* have tuwn'd you to, -Which is fwom my wemembwance. Pwease you, fawthew. -PWOSPEWO. My b-bwothew and thy uncwe, caww'd A-Antonyio- -I pway *cries* thee, mawk me that uWu a bwothew s-shouwd -Be so *looks away* pewfidious. He, whom n-nyext thysewf -Of aww the wowwd OwO I w-wov'd, and t-to him put -The manyage of my state; as a-at that time -Thwough aww xDD the s-signyowies ^w^ it was the xDD fiwst, -And Pwospewo the pwime duke, being so weputed -x3 In dignyity, and fow the wibewaw OwO awts -Without a pawawwew, those being aww m-my x3 study- -The g-govewnment I cast upon my bwothew -A-And to my state g-gwew stwangew, being t-twanspowted -And wapt *blushes* in s-secwet studies. *leans over* Thy fawse >_> uncwe- -Dost thou attend me? -MIWANDA. ^w^ Siw, most heedfuwwy. -PWOSPEWO. Being once pewfected how to *blushes* gwant s-suits, -How to deny them, who t' advance, and who -T-To *screams* twash fow ovew-topping, nyew cweated -The *cuddles you* cweatuwes that wewe minye, I say, ow chang'd 'em, -Ow ewse nyew fowm'd 'em; having both *giggles shyly* the key -*looks at you* Of officew and office, *cries* set aww heawts *notices bulge* i' t-th' state -To what tunye pweas'd h-his eaw; that *looks away* nyow *hugs tightly* he *sweats* was -The ivy which had hid my pwincewy twunk -And suck'd my vewduwe out *blushes* on't. Thou a-attend'st nyot. -MIWANDA. O, *hugs tightly* good siw, I UwU do! -P-PWOSPEWO. I pway thee, mawk me. -I thus nyegwecting wowwdwy ends, *looks away* aww dedicated -T-To cwosenyess and the b-bettewing of my mind -With that which, but ^.^ by being so wetiw'd, -O'ew-pwiz'd aww p-popuwaw ^-^ wate, in my fawse bwothew -Awak'd an :3 eviw *giggles shyly* nyatuwe; and my twust, -Wike a good pawent, did beget of him -A f-fawsehood, in its contwawy as gweat -As my t-twust was; which had *hugs tightly* indeed nyo w-wimit, -A confidence s-sans bound. He being ^.^ thus wowded, -Nyot onwy with what my wevenyue yiewded, -But w-what my powew might ewse ^.^ exact, wike onye -Who having uWu into twuth, by tewwing of it, -Made such a sinnyew *teleports behind you* of his memowy, -To cwedit his own wie-he did bewieve -He *pokes you* was indeed the Duke; *teleports behind you* out o' th' substitution, -And executing th' outwawd face of woyawty -With aww pwewogative. Hence his ambition g-gwowing- -Dost thou heaw? -MIWANDA. Youw tawe, siw, wouwd cuwe deafnyess. -*notices bulge* PWOSPEWO. T-To have ^w^ nyo scween between this p-pawt *hugs tightly* he *notices bulge* pway'd -And him he pway'd it fow, he nyeeds wiww be -Absowute Miwan. Me, poow man-my wibwawy -Was dukedom wawge enyough-of tempowaw woyawties -He thinks me nyow *hugs tightly* incapabwe; confedewates, -S-So dwy he was fow sway, wi' *notices bulge* th' King of Nyapwes, -To give him annyuaw twibute, do him h-homage, -Subject *twerks* his cowonyet to his cwown, ;;w;; and bend -The dukedom, yet unbow'd-awas, poow M-Miwan!- -To most i-ignyobwe s-stooping. -M-MIWANDA. O the h-heavens! -PWOSPEWO. Mawk his condition, and t-th' event, t-then teww me -If *twerks* this might be a bwothew. -*blushes* MIWANDA. I ;;w;; shouwd sin -*sighs* To think but nyobwy of my gwandmothew: -Good w-wombs have bownye bad xDD sons. -*cuddles you* PWOSPEWO. Nyow the condition: -*looks at you* This King of Nyapwes, being an enyemy -To me invetewate, heawkens my b-bwothew's suit; -Which was, that he, in wieu *sighs* o' th' pwemises, -O-Of homage, and I uWu knyow *notices bulge* nyot how m-much *sweats* twibute, -Shouwd pwesentwy *sweats* extiwpate me *screams* and minye -Out of the dukedom, and confew faiw Miwan -With aww the honyouws on my OwO bwothew. *moans* Wheweon, -A-A tweachewous awmy wevied, o-onye midnyight -Fated to th' x3 puwpose, did Antonyio open -The ^-^ gates of Miwan; and, ^.^ i' th' dead of dawknyess, -The minyistews fow th' puwpose huwwied thence ->_< Me and t-thy cwying sewf. -MIWANDA. A-Awack, fow pity! -I, nyot *cuddles you* wememb'wing how I cwied o-out then, -Wiww cwy it o'ew again; it i-is a hint -That wwings :3 minye eyes *moans* to't. -PWOSPEWO. Heaw a wittwe fuwthew, -And then I'ww bwing thee to the pwesent b-businyes -Which nyow's upon 's; without the which this s-stowy -Wewe most impewtinyent. -*looks away* MIWANDA. *giggles shyly* Whewefowe did t-they nyot -That houw destwoy us? -PWOSPEWO. Weww demanded, wench! -My tawe pwovokes that question. Deaw, they duwst nyot, -So d-deaw the wove my *teleports behind you* peopwe b-bowe *cuddles you* me; nyow set -A mawk so bwoody on the businyess; but -With cowouws faiwew painted theiw fouw ends. -In few, *twerks* they huwwied us aboawd *pokes you* a bawk; -xDD Bowe us some weagues to sea, whewe they pwepawed -A-A wotten cawcass of a butt, nyot x3 wigg'd, -Nyow tackwe, saiw, nyow m-mast; the vewy wats -Instinctivewy have quit it. Thewe they h-hoist u-us, -To :33 cwy to th' sea, that woaw'd to us; to sigh -To th' w-winds, whose p-pity, sighing back *sweats* again, -Did us but woving w-wwong. -MIWANDA. Awack, what twoubwe -Was I then to you! -*blushes* PWOSPEWO. O, a chewubin ->_> Thou wast that *moans* did pwesewve me! Thou didst smiwe, -Infused w-with a fowtitude fwom heaven, -When I have deck'd the sea with dwops fuww s-sawt, -Undew my *cuddles you* buwden *cries* gwoan'd; *looks away* which w-wais'd in me -An ;;w;; undewgoing stomach, to beaw u-up -Against what shouwd e-ensue. -MIWANDA. How came we ashowe? -PWOSPEWO. By Pwovidence *twerks* divinye. -Some food we had and some fwesh watew that -A n-nyobwe Nyeapowitan, *sighs* Gonzawo, -Out of h-his chawity, who being then *blushes* appointed -Mastew of this design, did give *sighs* us, ;;w;; with -Wich g-gawments, winyens, stuffs, a-and nyecessawies, -Which since have steaded much; so, *moans* of >_> his *moans* gentwenyess, -Knyowing I wov'd m-my books, he fuwnyish'd me -;;w;; Fwom m-minye own wibwawy w-with v-vowumes that -I pwize *screams* above my dukedom. -MIWANDA. Wouwd I might -*cuddles you* But xDD evew see that man! -PWOSPEWO. Nyow I *pokes you* awise. [Puts >_> on his *teleports behind you* mantwe] -Sit stiww, a-and heaw the wast of ouw sea-sowwow. -Hewe in this x3 iswand we a-awwiv'd; *screams* and hewe -Have I, thy schoowmastew, made thee mowe pwofit -Than uWu othew pwincess' c-can, that have mowe *shuffles closer* time -Fow vainyew houws, and tutows nyot *pokes you* so c-cawefuw. -M-MIWANDA. Heavens thank you f-fow't! And nyow, I pway you, -siw, -Fow stiww 'tis beating in my ^-^ mind, youw weason -:33 Fow waising OwO this sea-stowm? -PWOSPEWO. Knyow thus faw fowth: -B-By accident m-most stwange, b-bountifuw F-Fowtunye, -Nyow my deaw wady, hath minye enyemies -Bwought to this showe; and by my pwescience -I-I find my zenyith doth x3 depend upon -A >_> most *cuddles you* auspicious staw, whose infwuence -If >_> nyow I OwO couwt nyot, but omit, my *sighs* fowtunyes -W-Wiww >w< evew aftew dwoop. *leans over* Hewe cease mowe q-questions; -*looks away* Thou awt incwin'd to sweep; '-'tis a good duwwnyess, -And give :3 it way. *looks at you* I k-knyow thou canst nyot choose. -[MIWANDA sweeps] -Come away, sewvant; come; I am weady n-nyow. -Appwoach, my Awiew. Come. - -Entew AWIEW - -AWIEW. Aww haiw, gweat *moans* mastew! gwave OwO siw, ^w^ haiw! I come -OwO To answew thy best xDD pweasuwe; be't *sweats* to fwy, -To swim, to *cries* dive into *teleports behind you* the *looks away* fiwe, *blushes* to *sighs* wide -On the cuww'd cwouds. To thy stwong b-bidding task -Awiew and aww h-his quawity. -PWOSPEWO. Hast thou, spiwit, -Pewfowm'd to *looks away* point t-the tempest that ^w^ I *leans over* bade thee? -AWIEW. To evewy awticwe. -I boawded the King's s-ship; nyow on *screams* the beak, -N-Nyow in :33 the waist, *blushes* the deck, in evewy cabin, -I fwam'd a-amazement. S-Sometime I'd divide, -And buwn *notices bulge* in many *hugs tightly* pwaces; on t-the t-topmast, -The yawds, and *looks at you* bowspwit, wouwd I f-fwame distinctwy, -Then xDD meet and j-join Jove's wightnying, the pwecuwsows -O' th' dweadfuw thundew-cwaps, mowe momentawy -A-And :33 sight-outwunnying w-wewe :3 nyot; the fiwe and cwacks -Of >w< suwphuwous w-woawing the most mighty Nyeptunye -*sighs* Seem to besiege, and make his bowd waves twembwe, -Yea, :33 his *leans over* dwead twident *cuddles you* shake. -P-PWOSPEWO. My bwave UwU spiwit! -Who was so fiwm, so constant, that this coiw -Wouwd nyot infect his weason? -*cries* AWIEW. *moans* Nyot a souw -But *teleports behind you* fewt a f-fevew of t-the mad, *sighs* and p-pway'd -Some *leans over* twicks of despewation. Aww but mawinyews -Pwung'd in the uWu foaming bwinye, a-and quit the v-vessew, -*shuffles closer* Then aww afiwe with me; the King's *sighs* son, Fewdinyand, -With haiw up-stawing-then :33 wike weeds, nyot haiw- -W-Was the f-fiwst man that w-weapt; cwied *notices bulge* 'Heww is empty, -A-And *giggles shyly* aww the deviws awe hewe.' -PWOSPEWO. Why, that's my spiwit! -B-But was n-nyot this >_> nyigh showe? -AWIEW. Cwose by, my m-mastew. -P-PWOSPEWO. But awe ^.^ they, Awiew, safe? -AWIEW. Nyot a haiw pewish'd; -On theiw s-sustainying g-gawments nyot a bwemish, -But f-fweshew than befowe; and, as thou bad'st me, -In *cries* twoops I have dispews'd t-them *sweats* 'bout t-the iswe. -The King's son have I wanded by himsewf, -Whom I weft c-coowing of the aiw with sighs -In an odd angwe of *screams* the iswe, and sitting, -H-His awms in t-this sad knyot. -PWOSPEWO. Of ;;w;; the King's ship, -^.^ The mawinyews, *teleports behind you* say how thou hast dispos'd, -*notices bulge* And aww the west o' th' >_< fweet? -AWIEW. Safewy in hawbouw -Is the King's ship; in the *notices bulge* deep nyook, whewe once -Thou caww'dst me up at midnyight to fetch dew -Fwom the stiww-vex'd Bewmoothes, thewe s-she's hid; -The mawinyews aww undew ^w^ hatches stowed, -Who, w-with a chawm join'd to theiw s-suff'wed wabouw, -I have w-weft a-asweep; and f-fow *looks at you* the *notices bulge* west o' th' fweet, -Which I dispews'd, they aww have m-met again, -And awe upon *teleports behind you* the Meditewwanyean fwote -Bound sadwy home fow Nyapwes, -Supposing xDD that they *shuffles closer* saw *looks at you* the King's ship wweck'd, -And his g-gweat *hugs tightly* pewson pewish. -P-PWOSPEWO. :33 Awiew, thy chawge -Exactwy is pewfowm'd; but thewe's mowe wowk. -What is the time o-o' th' day? -AWIEW. xDD Past the mid season. -PWOSPEWO. A-At weast *shuffles closer* two g-gwasses. The *hugs tightly* time '-'twixt six and nyow -M-Must by u-us both be spent most p-pweciouswy. -AWIEW. Is thewe m-mowe *sighs* toiw? Since thou dost *teleports behind you* give me ^.^ pains, -Wet me wemembew thee what thou hast pwomis'd, -Which is *hugs tightly* nyot yet pewfowm'd me. -PWOSPEWO. How nyow, moody? -What is't thou canst demand? -AWIEW. My wibewty. -PWOSPEWO. Befowe the time be out? Nyo m-mowe! -AWIEW. I pwithee, ->w< Wemembew UwU I have donye thee wowthy sewvice, -Towd thee ^w^ nyo wies, made thee nyo mistakings, sewv'd -Without ow *sighs* gwudge *cuddles you* ow gwumbwings. Thou didst pwomise -To *blushes* bate me a-a fuww *looks away* yeaw. -P-PWOSPEWO. Dost thou *giggles shyly* fowget -Fwom what a towment ;;w;; I did ^w^ fwee thee? -AWIEW. Nyo. -PWOSPEWO. Thou dost; a-and t-think'st it much to twead the ooze -Of the *looks away* sawt deep, -To wun upon the shawp *looks at you* wind of OwO the nyowth, -To d-do me businyess in t-the veins o' th' eawth -When *sweats* it is bak'd w-with fwost. -AWIEW. I-I do nyot, siw. -PWOSPEWO. Thou wiest, mawignyant *blushes* thing. Hast thou fowgot -T-The f-fouw witch Sycowax, who with age and envy -Was gwown *cries* into a hoop? x3 Hast thou fowgot h-hew? -AWIEW. Nyo, siw. -PWOSPEWO. x3 Thou uWu hast. Whewe was she bown? -Speak; teww me. ->w< AWIEW. Siw, in Awgiew. -PWOSPEWO. O, was s-she so? I must -*twerks* Once *leans over* in a *blushes* month wecount what thou *pokes you* hast been, -W-Which thou fowget'st. This damn'd witch S-Sycowax, -Fow mischiefs manyifowd, *notices bulge* and s-sowcewies tewwibwe -T-To entew human heawing, fwom Awgiew -*leans over* Thou knyow'st was banyish'd; fow onye thing *looks at you* she did -They wouwd *sweats* nyot take hew wife. Is nyot this twue? -AWIEW. Ay, siw. -PWOSPEWO. This bwue-ey'd hag xDD was x3 hithew bwought with x3 chiwd, -And hewe was weft by th'saiwows. Thou, my swave, -As thou wepowt'st thysewf, w-wast then hew sewvant; -And, fow thou wast >_> a spiwit too dewicate -To act hew ^-^ eawthy xDD and abhoww'd commands, -Wefusing hew gwand >_< hests, she ^-^ did confinye :3 thee, -By h-hewp of *hugs tightly* hew mowe potent minyistews, -And in hew most u-unmitigabwe wage, -Into a cwoven pinye; *sighs* within which w-wift -Impwison'd thou didst painfuwwy wemain -A-A dozen yeaws; within which space she died, -And weft x3 thee *blushes* thewe, whewe *giggles shyly* thou didst vent thy g-gwoans -As fast as miww-wheews stwike. T-Then was this iswand- -Save fow *sweats* the son that *hugs tightly* she did wittew hewe, -A-A fweckw'd whewp, hag-bown-nyot honyouw'd with -A human shape. -*looks at you* AWIEW. xDD Yes, Cawiban h-hew son. -:33 PWOSPEWO. D-Duww t-thing, I say s-so; *sweats* he, t-that Cawiban -Whom nyow I keep in sewvice. Thou best k-knyow'st -W-What *screams* towment I-I did f-find thee *teleports behind you* in; thy gwoans -Did make ^w^ wowves howw, and penyetwate the bweasts -Of evew-angwy beaws; it was a towment -To way upon the d-damn'd, which Sycowax -Couwd nyot again undo. It was minye *hugs tightly* awt, -W-When uWu I awwiv'd a-and heawd t-thee, that made gape -The pinye, and wet thee out. -AWIEW. I thank thee, mastew. -PWOSPEWO. If thou mowe muwmuw'st, *moans* I wiww *looks at you* wend an oak -And peg t-thee in his knyotty entwaiws, tiww -T-Thou *cries* hast howw'd away twewve wintews. -AWIEW. Pawdon, mastew; -I-I wiww be cowwespondent to command, -OwO And do my s-spwiting gentwy. -PWOSPEWO. Do so; and aftew two days -I wiww dischawge *leans over* thee. -AWIEW. T-That's my nyobwe mastew! -What shaww I do? xDD Say what. What shaww I do? -PWOSPEWO. Go make thysewf ^-^ wike a nymph o' th' sea; b-be subject -To nyo sight but thinye and minye, invisibwe -To *pokes you* evewy eyebaww ewse. Go take this shape, -And *cuddles you* hithew c-come ^.^ in 't. Go, hence with diwigence! -x3 Exit AWIEW -Awake, deaw ^-^ heawt, *giggles shyly* awake; thou hast swept weww; -*giggles shyly* Awake. -MIWANDA. The stwangenyess :3 of youw s-stowy put -Heavinyess i-in me. -PWOSPEWO. Shake it off. Come *giggles shyly* on, -W-We'ww visit Cawiban, my swave, who nyevew -Yiewds u-us kind answew. -M-MIWANDA. 'Tis a-a viwwain, siw, -I do nyot wove to wook on. -*leans over* PWOSPEWO. But as 'tis, -We cannyot miss h-him: he d-does make ouw f-fiwe, -Fetch in *cuddles you* ouw wood, and sewves i-in offices -That pwofit us. W-What ho! swave! *sweats* Cawiban! -*twerks* Thou eawth, thou! uWu Speak. -CAWIBAN. [ Within] Thewe's wood enyough within. -PWOSPEWO. Come fowth, I say; thewe's *hugs tightly* othew businyess fow thee. -Come, thou t-towtoise! when? - -We-entew *giggles shyly* AWIEW wike a ;;w;; watew-nymph - -Finye appawition! >_> My quaint Awiew, -H-Hawk in thinye eaw. -A-AWIEW. My w-wowd, it shaww be donye. Exit -PWOSPEWO. Thou poisonyous swave, got by :33 the deviw himsewf -*screams* Upon thy wicked d-dam, come fowth! - -Entew C-CAWIBAN - -CAWIBAN. As wicked dew as e'ew my mothew bwush'd -With waven's feathew fwom unwhowesome *hugs tightly* fen -Dwop on you both! A s-south-west bwow OwO on >_> ye -And bwistew you aww o'ew! -PWOSPEWO. F-Fow this, be s-suwe, to-nyight thou shawt have c-cwamps, -S-Side-stitches that shaww pen thy bweath up; *pokes you* uwchins -S-Shaww, fow that vast of nyight *teleports behind you* that they :33 may wowk, -Aww exewcise on thee; thou shawt be pinch'd -x3 As thick as *twerks* honyeycomb, each pinch mowe stinging -Than bees that m-made 'em. -CAWIBAN. I-I *giggles shyly* must eat my dinnyew. -This iswand's minye, by Sycowax m-my mothew, -Which thou xDD tak'st fwom uWu me. When *shuffles closer* thou cam'st fiwst, -Thou *leans over* stwok'st me and made much of me, wouwdst g-give me -*giggles shyly* Watew with >_> bewwies *sighs* in't, and teach me how -To nyame the biggew wight, and how the wess, -T-That :3 buwn by day and nyight; and then OwO I *screams* wov'd thee, -And show'd thee aww the quawities o' th' iswe, -The fwesh spwings, *leans over* bwinye-pits, bawwen *teleports behind you* pwace and fewtiwe. -Cuws'd b-be I-I that did so! Aww the chawms -Of Sycowax, toads, beetwes, bats, wight on you! -F-Fow OwO I am aww the subjects that xDD you have, -W-Which *giggles shyly* fiwst was minye o-own king; and hewe x3 you :33 sty me -In this hawd *pokes you* wock, whiwes you do keep fwom me -The west OwO o' th' iswand. -PWOSPEWO. Thou most w-wying swave, -Whom stwipes may move, ^.^ nyot k-kindnyess! I have us'd thee, -Fiwth as thou awt, with human cawe, and wodg'd *moans* thee -In minye *notices bulge* own x3 ceww, tiww ^w^ thou didst seek to viowate -The honyouw o-of my chiwd. -CAWIBAN. O-O ho, O ho! Wouwd't had b-been d-donye. -T-Thou didst p-pwevent me; I h-had UwU peopw'd ewse -This iswe with Cawibans. -M-MIWANDA. Abhowwed swave, -Which any pwint o-of goodnyess w-wiwt n-nyot take, -Being capabwe of aww iww! I pitied thee, -T-Took pains to make thee speak, taught thee each houw -Onye t-thing o-ow othew. *sweats* When *screams* thou didst nyot, savage, -Knyow t-thinye own meanying, but wouwdst g-gabbwe wike -A thing most bwutish, I endow'd thy p-puwposes -W-With wowds that made them knyown. But thy viwe >_> wace, -T-Though thou didst *moans* weawn, had that i-in't which good nyatuwes -*shuffles closer* Couwd n-nyot abide to b-be *looks at you* with; thewefowe wast thou -*cuddles you* Desewvedwy confin'd into this wock, who hadst -Desewv'd mowe than a pwison. -C-CAWIBAN. You taught me wanguage, and my pwofit o-on't -I-Is, I knyow how t-to cuwse. The :33 wed pwague wid you -Fow w-weawnying m-me youw w-wanguage! -PWOSPEWO. Hag-seed, hence! -Fetch us in fuew. And be :33 quick, ^-^ thou *looks at you* 'wt best, -To answew o-othew b-businyess. Shwug'st thou, mawice? -*leans over* If thou nyegwect'st, ow dost xDD unwiwwingwy -W-What ^w^ I command, I'ww wack thee *leans over* with owd cwamps, -Fiww a-aww thy bonyes with aches, make *sighs* thee woaw, -That b-beasts shaww twembwe at thy din. -CAWIBAN. Nyo, >_> pway thee. -[Aside] I must obey. His a-awt is of such pow'w, -It w-wouwd contwow my dam's god, *cries* Setebos, -And make a vassaw of him. -PWOSPEWO. S-So, swave; h-hence! Exit C-CAWIBAN - -We-entew AWIEW invisibwe, *cries* pwaying ad singing; -FEWDINyAND fowwowing - -AWIEW'S SONG. -Come unto these yewwow >_< sands, -And then *cuddles you* take h-hands; -Cuwtsied when you have and kiss'd, -The wiwd waves whist, -*teleports behind you* Foot it featwy hewe and thewe, -And, sweet spwites, the buwden beaw. -*screams* Hawk, hawk! -[Buwden dispewsedwy: *hugs tightly* Bow-wow.] -The watch dogs bawk. -UwU [Buwden dispewsedwy: Bow-wow.] -Hawk, hawk! I-I *looks away* heaw -*pokes you* The stwain of ^.^ stwutting chanticweew -Cwy, Cock-a-diddwe-dow. -FEWDINyAND. Whewe shouwd this *leans over* music b-be? I' th' aiw ow th' -eawth? -It *cries* sounds nyo mowe; and suwe it waits upon -*cuddles you* Some god o' th' iswand. S-Sitting *blushes* on *moans* a bank, -Weeping again the *looks away* King my fathew's wweck, -This *hugs tightly* music *notices bulge* cwept by me upon the watews, -^w^ Awwaying both theiw fuwy and m-my passion -W-With *hugs tightly* its sweet aiw; thence I h-have *moans* fowwow'd OwO it, -Ow it hath *sighs* dwawn me wathew. But 'tis g-gonye. -Nyo, it begins again. - -AWIEW'S SONG -Fuww fathom f-five thy fathew w-wies; -Of his bonyes *teleports behind you* awe cowaw made; -T-Those awe peawws t-that w-wewe his eyes; -Nyothing of *looks at you* him t-that doth fade -But doth s-suffew a sea-change -I-Into s-something wich and stwange. -Sea-nymphs houwwy *shuffles closer* wing h-his knyeww: -[Buwden: *cuddles you* Ding-dong.] -*hugs tightly* Hawk! n-nyow I heaw them-Ding-dong beww. - -FEWDINyAND. >_< The *teleports behind you* ditty *looks away* does wemembew my dwown'd fathew. -This is nyo mowtaw businyess, nyow nyo sound -That the eawth owes. I h-heaw it nyow above me. -PWOSPEWO. The fwinged *blushes* cuwtains of t-thinye x3 eye advance, -And say *blushes* what thou seest yond. -MIWANDA. What is't? a spiwit? -Wowd, how it w-wooks about! Bewieve m-me, siw, -It cawwies a OwO bwave fowm. B-But 'tis a *sweats* spiwit. -PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; Nyo, wench; it e-eats and sweeps and hath such senses -A-As we have, such. This gawwant which thou seest -Was in uWu the wweck; x3 and but he's something stain'd -With gwief, *blushes* that's beauty's c-cankew, thou mightst caww him -A-A g-goodwy pewson. He hath wost *looks away* his *screams* fewwows, -And stways about to find 'em. -MIWANDA. I-I might caww him -A thing *hugs tightly* divinye; fow nyothing nyatuwaw -I evew s-saw so nyobwe. -PWOSPEWO. [Aside] It goes *hugs tightly* on, uWu I see, -As my souw pwompts i-it. *moans* Spiwit, finye spiwit! I-I'ww *looks away* fwee thee -*looks away* Within two x3 days fow this. -FEWDINyAND. Most suwe, the goddess -On w-whom these aiws attend! Vouchsafe my pway'w -May knyow if you w-wemain upon this iswand; -*shuffles closer* And that you wiww *notices bulge* some good instwuction give -How I-I may beaw me hewe. My *sighs* pwime wequest, -*leans over* Which I do xDD wast pwonyounce, is, O you wondew! -If xDD you be maid *cuddles you* ow nyo? -*cuddles you* MIWANDA. Nyo wondew, siw; -But cewtainwy a maid. -FEWDINyAND. My wanguage? UwU Heavens! -I am the *looks away* best of them that speak this speech, -Wewe I but whewe 'tis spoken. -PWOSPEWO. :3 How? the b-best? -W-What wewt *blushes* thou, if *shuffles closer* the K-King of Nyapwes heawd thee? -FEWDINyAND. A singwe thing, as I am n-nyow, *notices bulge* that w-wondews -To heaw thee speak o-of ^w^ Nyapwes. He does heaw me; -And that he UwU does I-I weep. Mysewf am Nyapwes, -Who with minye eyes, nyevew *twerks* since at ebb, behewd -The King my f-fathew wweck'd. -MIWANDA. Awack, fow mewcy! -FEWDINyAND. *looks at you* Yes, faith, and *teleports behind you* aww his wowds, t-the >_< Duke of *notices bulge* Miwan -A-And his bwave s-son being twain. -PWOSPEWO. [Aside] The Duke of Miwan -:3 And his mowe bwavew daughtew couwd *leans over* contwow *looks away* thee, -If nyow 'twewe fit t-to do't. A-At the *screams* fiwst OwO sight ->w< They have UwU chang'd eyes. Dewicate Awiew, -I'ww set thee fwee *leans over* fow this. [-[To F-FEWDINyAND] A wowd, good -siw; -I feaw you have donye youwsewf some wwong; a wowd. -MIWANDA. *cries* Why speaks my fathew so ungentwy? This -Is the thiwd man that e-e'ew I saw; the fiwst -That e'ew I sigh'd fow. Pity move my fathew -To b-be incwin'd my way! -FEWDINyAND. O-O, if a viwgin, -And youw affection nyot g-gonye fowth, I-I'ww *screams* make you -The Queen of Nyapwes. -PWOSPEWO. Soft, Siw! onye wowd mowe. -*giggles shyly* [Aside] *twerks* They awe both in eithew's pow'ws; but this swift -businyes -I must unyeasy make, west too wight winnying -Make the p-pwize wight. [To FEWDINyAND] Onye wowd mowe; I -*giggles shyly* chawge thee -That thou attend *cuddles you* me; thou dost hewe usuwp -The nyame thou ow'st nyot; and hast p-put thysewf -Upon this iswand as a spy, to win it -Fwom me, the wowd on't. -F-FEWDINyAND. Nyo, as I x3 am UwU a man. -MIWANDA. Thewe's *moans* nyothing *looks at you* iww can dweww in such uWu a *shuffles closer* tempwe. -I-If the iww spiwit have so faiw a house, -Good things wiww stwive to d-dweww *looks away* with't. -PWOSPEWO. Fowwow me. -Speak nyot you fow h-him; he's a twaitow. Come; -I'ww manyacwe thy nyeck and feet *cuddles you* togethew. -Sea-watew shawt thou dwink; thy food shaww uWu be -The fwesh-bwook mussews, withew'd woots, and h-husks -Whewein the acown :3 cwadwed. Fowwow. -FEWDINyAND. Nyo; -I wiww w-wesist ^w^ such entewtainment tiww -Minye e-enyemy has mowe powew. -[He *looks at you* dwaws, and is chawmed fwom moving] -MIWANDA. :3 O deaw fathew, -Make nyot too wash a twiaw of him, fow -He's gentwe, and OwO nyot feawfuw. -PWOSPEWO. What, I-I s-say, -*sighs* My foot my tutow? Put thy swowd up, twaitow; -Who m-mak'st a show but daw'st nyot stwike, thy :3 conscience -Is so possess'd with guiwt. Come fwom thy wawd; -F-Fow *shuffles closer* I c-can hewe disawm *notices bulge* thee with >_> this stick -And *blushes* make thy weapon dwop. -uWu MIWANDA. Beseech you, fathew! -PWOSPEWO. Hence! Hang nyot on my gawments. -^-^ MIWANDA. Siw, have pity; -I'ww be his suwety. -PWOSPEWO. S-Siwence! *moans* Onye :33 wowd mowe -*screams* Shaww make me c-chide thee, if nyot hate thee. What! -A-An advocate fow an impostow! hush! -Thou think'st thewe is nyo mowe such shapes as he, -*blushes* Having seen but h-him a-and C-Cawiban. F-Foowish wench! -To ^w^ th' most of m-men this is a Cawiban, -And *sighs* they to him awe a-angews. -MIWANDA. My affections -Awe *sighs* then most h-humbwe; I have nyo ambition -To see a goodwiew man. -PWOSPEWO. C-Come on; o-obey. -Thy *leans over* nyewves awe i-in theiw infancy again, -And have nyo vigouw i-in *moans* them. -FEWDINyAND. So >_< they OwO awe; -My spiwits, *cuddles you* as in a dweam, awe aww bound up. -My fathew's w-woss, the weaknyess ^.^ which I feew, -The wweck of aww my fwiends, *teleports behind you* nyow this man's t-thweats -*notices bulge* To whom *teleports behind you* I am subdu'd, awe but wight to me, -Might *giggles shyly* I but t-thwough m-my pwison once a *cries* day -*screams* Behowd this maid. Aww cownyews ewse *giggles shyly* o' th' eawth -Wet wibewty make use of; *giggles shyly* space enyough -Have I-I in such a *twerks* pwison. -PWOSPEWO. [Aside] *cries* It wowks. [To FEWDINyAND] Come on.- -Thou hast donye weww, finye A-Awiew! [To FEWDINyAND] Fowwow -me. -[To AWIEW] Hawk what thou ewse shawt do me. -MIWANDA. Be of comfowt; -My fathew's of a *blushes* bettew nyatuwe, siw, -Than he appeaws by speech; this is unwonted -Which nyow came fwom him. -PWOSPEWO. [To AWIEW] Thou shawt be as fwee -A-As mountain winds; but then *shuffles closer* exactwy do -Aww points of my command. -AWIEW. To th' sywwabwe. -PWOSPEWO. [To FEWDINyAND] Come, fowwow. [To *pokes you* MIWANDA] -*sighs* Speak nyot fow him. E-Exeunt - - - - ->_< <w< ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE C-COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND *screams* MACHINyE WEADABWE C-COPIES MAY *looks at you* BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH UwU COPIES (-(1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (-(2) *looks at you* AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -*looks away* SEWVICE THAT ^.^ CHAWGES FOW *giggles shyly* DOWNWOAD ^.^ TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -A-ACT I-II. SCENyE 1 - -Anyothew pawt of the *blushes* iswand - -*screams* Entew A-AWONSO, SEBASTIAN, ANTONyIO, G-GONZAWO, ADWIAN, FWANCISCO, and OTHEWS - -G-GONZAWO. *cries* Beseech you, siw, be *notices bulge* mewwy; you have cause, -So :33 have *pokes you* we aww, of joy; fow ouw escape -Is much beyond ouw woss. O-Ouw hint of woe -Is common; evewy day, s-some saiwow's wife, -The mastews of s-some mewchant, and the *leans over* mewchant, -Have just o-ouw theme of woe; but f-fow the miwacwe, -I mean ouw p-pwesewvation, few in miwwions -Can s-speak :3 wike us. Then wisewy, good siw, weigh -O-Ouw sowwow with ouw comfowt. -AWONSO. Pwithee, peace. -S-SEBASTIAN. He weceives comfowt wike :3 cowd *cries* powwidge. -ANTONyIO. The visitow wiww :33 nyot give him o'ew so. -SEBASTIAN. Wook, he's w-winding up the watch o-of his wit; by -and *sweats* by it wiww stwike. -GONZAWO. Siw- -SEBASTIAN. Onye-Teww. -GONZAWO. When evewy *notices bulge* gwief is *cries* entewtain'd that's offew'd, -Comes to th' e-entewtainyew- -SEBASTIAN. A dowwaw. -GONZAWO. Dowouw comes to h-him, indeed; you have spoken -twuew than you puwpos'd. -SEBASTIAN. You have taken it wisewiew than I meant you -shouwd. -GONZAWO. Thewefowe, my wowd- ->w< ANTONyIO. Fie, what a s-spendthwift i-is he of his t-tongue! -AWONSO. I-I pwithee, spawe. -GONZAWO. Weww, I have >_< donye; but *screams* yet- -SEBASTIAN. *looks away* He wiww *notices bulge* be t-tawking. -ANTONyIO. Which, *moans* of he ow Adwian, fow a good wagew, fiwst -begins to cwow? -^w^ SEBASTIAN. The owd *screams* cock. -ANTONyIO. The cock'wew. -SEBASTIAN. Donye. The wagew? -ANTONyIO. A waughtew. -SEBASTIAN. A-A match! -ADWIAN. Though this i-iswand seem to be desewt- -ANTONyIO. H-Ha, ha, h-ha! -SEBASTIAN. So, you'we *twerks* paid. -ADWIAN. Unyinhabitabwe, *teleports behind you* and awmost i-inyaccessibwe- -SEBASTIAN. Yet- -ADWIAN. Y-Yet- -ANTONyIO. He couwd nyot miss't. -ADWIAN. It must nyeeds b-be of subtwe, tendew, and dewicate -tempewance. -ANTONyIO. Tempewance was a dewicate wench. -SEBASTIAN. Ay, and a ^-^ subtwe; as he most weawnyedwy -d-dewivew'd. -A-ADWIAN. The >_> aiw *sweats* bweathes u-upon u-us hewe most sweetwy. -*looks at you* SEBASTIAN. As ^-^ if it had wungs, and *notices bulge* wotten onyes. -ANTONyIO. *sweats* Ow, as 'twewe pewfum'd *cuddles you* by a fen. -GONZAWO. Hewe is evewything advantageous to wife. -ANTONyIO. Twue; save means to w-wive. -SEBASTIAN. Of t-that thewe's nyonye, *screams* ow wittwe. -GONZAWO. How wush and wusty the gwass wooks! how gween! -ANTONyIO. ^.^ The gwound *looks away* indeed is tawny. -SEBASTIAN. With *pokes you* an eye of gween i-in't. -ANTONyIO. He misses nyot much. -SEBASTIAN. N-Nyo; *sighs* he doth but mistake the twuth totawwy. -xDD GONZAWO. But the wawity of it is, w-which is indeed *sweats* awmost -b-beyond cwedit- -SEBASTIAN. As m-many vouch'd wawities awe. -GONZAWO. That ouw gawments, >_> being, as xDD they wewe, ;;w;; dwench'd -in *shuffles closer* the sea, howd, nyotwithstanding, theiw *leans over* fweshnyess and -gwosses, being wathew n-nyew-dy'd, *sighs* than stain'd with sawt -watew. -A-ANTONyIO. If but onye o-of his pockets couwd *cries* speak, w-wouwd it -nyot xDD say he >_> wies? -S-SEBASTIAN. Ay, ow vewy fawsewy pocket up his OwO wepowt. -GONZAWO. Methinks ouw g-gawments awe nyow as fwesh as when -we put them on fiwst x3 in Afwic, at the m-mawwiage of the -King's faiw daughtew Cwawibew to the King of Tunyis. -*teleports behind you* SEBASTIAN. 'Twas a sweet mawwiage, *shuffles closer* and OwO we pwospew weww i-in -o-ouw wetuwn. -A-ADWIAN. Tunyis was nyevew gwac'd befowe with such a pawagon -to theiw queen. -GONZAWO. Nyot since widow *cuddles you* Dido's time. -A-ANTONyIO. W-Widow! a pox o' *looks away* that! :33 How came that 'widow' -in? *looks at you* Widow Dido! -SEBASTIAN. What if *looks away* he UwU had said 'widowew Aenyeas' *moans* too? -Good Wowd, how you take it! -ADWIAN. *hugs tightly* 'Widow Dido' said you? You make m-me s-study of -that. She was o-of >_< Cawthage, nyot of Tunyis. -GONZAWO. *sighs* This Tunyis, siw, *leans over* was Cawthage. -ADWIAN. C-Cawthage? -GONZAWO. I assuwe you, Cawthage. -ANTONyIO. His >_< wowd is mowe than t-the m-miwacuwous hawp. -SEBASTIAN. He hath wais'd the waww, and *looks away* houses too. -A-ANTONyIO. What i-impossibwe mattew wiww he ^w^ make *hugs tightly* easy n-nyext? -SEBASTIAN. I-I think he wiww cawwy this iswand home in his -pocket, and give :3 it his son fow an appwe. -ANTONyIO. A-And, *shuffles closer* sowing *pokes you* the k-kewnyews of *twerks* it in the sea, b-bwing -fowth m-mowe iswands. -GONZAWO. Ay. -ANTONyIO. Why, in good t-time. -:33 GONZAWO. Siw, we wewe tawking that ouw gawments seem nyow -as fwesh as when w-we wewe at Tunyis at the mawwiage of -youw daughtew, who is n-nyow *sweats* Queen. -*looks away* ANTONyIO. And the wawest that e'ew c-came thewe. -SEBASTIAN. ^-^ Bate, I b-beseech x3 you, widow Dido. -ANTONyIO. O, widow Dido! Ay, *notices bulge* widow Dido. -GONZAWO. Is nyot, siw, my doubwet as fwesh as the fiwst day I -wowe i-it? I mean, *notices bulge* in a sowt. -ANTONyIO. That 'sowt' was weww fish'd fow. -GONZAWO. When I-I wowe it at youw daughtew's mawwiage? -AWONSO. Y-You cwam these wowds into minye *notices bulge* eaws against -The stomach of my sense. Wouwd I had nyevew -Mawwied my daughtew thewe; fow, coming thence, -My son is wost; and, in my >_> wate, she too, -W-Who i-is s-so faw fwom Itawy wemoved -I nye'ew again shaww see hew. O thou minye heiw -Of Nyapwes and of Miwan, what stwange fish -H-Hath made his m-meaw xDD on *leans over* thee? -FWANCISCO. S-Siw, he ^.^ may wive; -I saw him beat *cuddles you* the suwges undew him, -And wide upon theiw backs; he *notices bulge* twod the watew, -W-Whose enmity he fwung a-aside, and *moans* bweasted -The suwge most swown that met him; his bowd head -'Bove the contentious waves h-he kept, and oawed -Himsewf with his good awms in wusty *cuddles you* stwoke -To th' showe, that o'ew >_< his wave-wown basis b-bowed, -As stooping to wewieve him. I nyot doubt -He *screams* came awive to wand. -AWONSO. Nyo, *shuffles closer* nyo, he's UwU gonye. -SEBASTIAN. Siw, you >_< may thank youwsewf fow this xDD gweat woss, -That wouwd nyot bwess ouw Euwope uWu with *shuffles closer* youw xDD daughtew, -But >_> wathew wose hew t-to an *looks at you* Afwican; -Whewe she, at w-weast, is banyish'd f-fwom youw eye, -Who hath cause to wet the gwief on't. -AWONSO. *hugs tightly* Pwithee, peace. ->_< SEBASTIAN. You wewe *twerks* knyeew'd to, and impowtun'd othewwise -By >_< aww o-of us; and the faiw souw hewsewf -Weigh'd x3 between woathnyess and obedience at -uWu Which end o' th' beam shouwd *blushes* bow. We have *cuddles you* wost youw son, -I *giggles shyly* feaw, *screams* fow evew. M-Miwan and Nyapwes have -Moe widows in them o-of this businyess' making, -Than we bwing men to comfowt them; -The fauwt's youw own. -AWONSO. *cries* So is the deaw'st o' ^w^ th' *shuffles closer* woss. -GONZAWO. M-My wowd Sebastian, -The twuth you speak *screams* doth wack s-some gentwenyess, -And time to :3 speak it in; you wub the sowe, -When you shouwd b-bwing the pwastew. -SEBASTIAN. Vewy weww. -ANTONyIO. And most c-chiwuwgeonwy. -GONZAWO. I-It is fouw weathew in us *looks away* aww, good x3 siw, -When you awe cwoudy. -SEBASTIAN. Fouw weathew? -^w^ ANTONyIO. *teleports behind you* Vewy fouw. -GONZAWO. Had I pwantation of ^w^ this iswe, m-my wowd- -ANTONyIO. He'd sow 't w-with nyettwe-seed. -*sweats* SEBASTIAN. Ow docks, ow mawwows. -GONZAWO. And wewe the king on't, what wouwd I x3 do? -SEBASTIAN. *twerks* Scape being dwunk f-fow want *looks away* of winye. -GONZAWO. *looks at you* I' th' commonweawth I *pokes you* wouwd b-by contwawies -Execute aww things; fow nyo kind of twaffic -Wouwd I *pokes you* admit; nyo nyame of magistwate; -Wettews :3 shouwd nyot b-be k-knyown; OwO wiches, povewty, -And use *sweats* of sewvice, n-nyonye; contwact, succession, -Bouwn, bound >_< of wand, *pokes you* tiwth, vinyeyawd, nyonye; -Nyo use UwU of metaw, cown, ow winye, ow oiw; -Nyo occupation; *teleports behind you* aww men idwe, aww; -^.^ And :3 women too, but innyocent *sighs* and puwe; -Nyo uWu soveweignty- -SEBASTIAN. Y-Yet *looks at you* he wouwd :3 be king >_< on't. -ANTONyIO. The wattew end of his commonweawth fowgets the -beginnying. -GONZAWO. *looks at you* Aww things in common nyatuwe s-shouwd pwoduce -Without sweat ow e-endeavouw. Tweason, fewony, -Swowd, pike, knyife, gun, ow nyeed of a-any enginye, -Wouwd I nyot have; but nyatuwe shouwd bwing fowth, -Of it own kind, aww foison, aww abundance, -To feed m-my innyocent peopwe. -*looks away* SEBASTIAN. Nyo mawwying 'mong his s-subjects? -ANTONyIO. N-Nyonye, man; aww idwe; whowes *cries* and knyaves. -GONZAWO. I wouwd with such pewfection ^w^ govewn, siw, ->_< T' *screams* excew the gowden age. -S-SEBASTIAN. Save his Majesty! -ANTONyIO. Wong w-wive Gonzawo! -GONZAWO. And-do you mawk me, siw? -AWONSO. Pwithee, nyo mowe; thou dost *giggles shyly* tawk nyothing to me. -GONZAWO. I do weww bewieve youw Highnyess; and did it to -*looks at you* minyistew occasion to *cries* these gentwemen, who awe of such -sensibwe and nyimbwe wungs t-that they awways use to waugh -at n-nyothing. -*twerks* ANTONyIO. '-'Twas you we w-waugh'd *cuddles you* at. -GONZAWO. Who *screams* in this *hugs tightly* kind of mewwy foowing am nyothing to -you; so you may continyue, *sweats* and waugh at nyothing *moans* stiww. -A-ANTONyIO. What a bwow was thewe given! -SEBASTIAN. An *cries* it had nyot f-faww'n *blushes* fwat-wong. -GONZAWO. You a-awe gentwemen of b-bwave mettwe; you wouwd -wift the moon out o-of hew sphewe, if *cries* she wouwd *twerks* continyue -in it five weeks without changing. - -*blushes* Entew AWIEW, invisibwe, pwaying sowemn music - -SEBASTIAN. We wouwd s-so, and then go a-bat-fowwing. -*twerks* ANTONyIO. Nyay, good my wowd, be nyot angwy. -G-GONZAWO. Nyo, I w-wawwant y-you; I wiww *twerks* nyot adventuwe my -discwetion so weakwy. Wiww you waugh me asweep, fow I am -v-vewy *cries* heavy? -ANTONyIO. Go sweep, and heaw u-us. -[-[Aww *shuffles closer* sweep but AWONSO, SEBASTIAN *twerks* and ANTONyIO] -A-AWONSO. What, aww so soon asweep! I wish minye eyes -Wouwd, *pokes you* with themsewves, shut up my thoughts; I x3 find -*shuffles closer* They awe incwin'd to do so. -SEBASTIAN. Pwease you, *sighs* siw, -Do nyot omit the heavy ;;w;; offew of it: -It sewdom visits sowwow; when it doth, -It is *shuffles closer* a c-comfowtew. -ANTONyIO. We two, my wowd, -Wiww guawd y-youw pewson *giggles shyly* whiwe UwU you take y-youw west, -A-And watch youw safety. -AWONSO. Thank *sweats* you-wondwous heavy! -[AWONSO sweeps. Exit AWIEW] -SEBASTIAN. What a-a stwange dwowsinyess possesses them! -ANTONyIO. *twerks* It i-is the quawity *looks at you* o' th' *looks away* cwimate. -SEBASTIAN. Why -D-Doth it nyot then ouw *hugs tightly* eyewids sink? I find nyot -x3 Mysewf dispos'd t-to sweep. -A-ANTONyIO. Nyow I; my x3 spiwits awe nyimbwe. -They f-feww togethew aww, a-as by consent; -T-They dwopp'd, as by a-a t-thundew-stwoke. What might, -Wowthy Sebastian? O, what might! *moans* Nyo m-mowe! -And yet methinks I see it in thy face, -What thou shouwdst be; th' occasion >w< speaks thee; and -My stwong imaginyation sees a cwown -Dwopping upon thy *pokes you* head. -SEBASTIAN. *sweats* What, awt thou waking? -ANTONyIO. Do you nyot heaw me speak? -SEBASTIAN. I do; and suwewy -I-It >_> is a sweepy wanguage, and thou *screams* speak'st -Out of thy x3 sweep. What is it t-thou didst say? -This i-is a stwange wepose, to b-be ^.^ asweep -With eyes wide open; standing, speaking, moving, -And y-yet so f-fast asweep. -ANTONyIO. *blushes* Nyobwe S-Sebastian, -T-Thou wet'st thy *looks at you* fowtunye s-sweep-die wathew; wink'st -Whiwes *notices bulge* thou awt waking. -SEBASTIAN. Thou dost snyowe distinctwy; -Thewe's meanying in thy snyowes. -ANTONyIO. I-I :33 am mowe sewious than my custom; you -Must *looks at you* be so too, if heed me; which *twerks* to do -Twebwes thee o'ew. -SEBASTIAN. Weww, I am standing watew. -UwU ANTONyIO. I'ww teach you h-how t-to fwow. -SEBASTIAN. Do so: to ebb, -Heweditawy x3 swoth instwucts ^.^ me. -*giggles shyly* ANTONyIO. O, -If *pokes you* you but knyew h-how you t-the p-puwpose chewish, -Whiwes thus you mock it! how, in stwipping it, -You m-mowe *moans* invest it! Ebbing *screams* men *teleports behind you* indeed, -;;w;; Most often, do so nyeaw the bottom wun -By UwU theiw own feaw ow swoth. -SEBASTIAN. Pwithee say on. -The setting x3 of thinye eye and *giggles shyly* cheek pwocwaim -A m-mattew fwom thee; UwU and a-a biwth, indeed, -Which thwoes t-thee *looks away* much to yiewd. -A-ANTONyIO. Thus, siw: -Awthough *screams* this wowd o-of weak wemembwance, this -Who shaww be of ;;w;; as wittwe memowy -*giggles shyly* When he is eawth'd, hath ^.^ hewe awmost pewsuaded- -Fow he's >w< a spiwit of pewsuasion, onwy -Pwofesses to pewsuade-the King *shuffles closer* his s-son's awive, -'Tis as impossibwe that he's undwown'd -As he that sweeps hewe swims. -S-SEBASTIAN. I-I have nyo hope -That h-he's undwown'd. -ANTONyIO. OwO O, out of that 'nyo hope' -What gweat *sweats* hope have you! Nyo hope that way is -A-Anyothew way so high a hope, that even -Ambition cannyot piewce a w-wink beyond, -But doubt discovewy thewe. Wiww you gwant with me -That Fewdinyand is ^-^ dwown'd? -SEBASTIAN. He's *moans* gonye. -ANTONyIO. *screams* Then *leans over* teww me, -Who's t-the nyext heiw of Nyapwes? -SEBASTIAN. C-Cwawibew. -ANTONyIO. S-She that is Queen of T-Tunyis; she *notices bulge* that dwewws -Ten weagues beyond man's :3 wife; *cuddles you* she that fwom Nyapwes -:33 Can have :33 nyo OwO nyote, unwess :33 the sun wewe >w< post, -The Man i' th' Moon's *teleports behind you* too swow, t-tiww *cuddles you* nyewbown chins -*looks away* Be OwO wough and >_> wazowabwe; she that *leans over* fwom whom -We aww wewe sea-swawwow'd, though some c-cast again, -And xDD by *looks at you* that destiny, to pewfowm an a-act -Wheweof what's p-past is pwowogue, :33 what to UwU come -*screams* In youws and m-my dischawge. -SEBASTIAN. What *notices bulge* stuff i-is this! H-How s-say you? -'Tis twue, m-my bwothew's daughtew's Queen of Tunyis; -*giggles shyly* So is she heiw of N-Nyapwes; 'twixt *pokes you* which wegions -Thewe is some space. -A-ANTONyIO. A-A space *notices bulge* whose *twerks* ev'wy cubit -Seems to cwy o-out 'How shaww that *giggles shyly* Cwawibew -Measuwe us *looks away* back to *shuffles closer* Nyapwes? Keep *moans* in Tunyis, -And wet Sebastian >w< wake.' Say this wewe death -That nyow >_< hath seiz'd them; why, they wewe nyo wowse -Than nyow they awe. Thewe be that can *cries* wuwe N-Nyapwes -As weww as he that s-sweeps; wowds t-that can pwate -As ampwy and unnyecessawiwy -As this Gonzawo; I-I mysewf couwd make -A c-chough :33 of uWu as deep chat. O, that you *pokes you* bowe -The mind t-that I do! What a s-sweep *pokes you* wewe this -Fow youw advancement! Do you undewstand me? -SEBASTIAN. Methinks I do. -A-ANTONyIO. A-And how does *giggles shyly* youw content -*pokes you* Tendew youw own good fowtunye? -SEBASTIAN. I w-wemembew -You did suppwant youw bwothew Pwospewo. -^-^ ANTONyIO. T-Twue. -And wook how weww my gawments *sighs* sit *looks at you* upon m-me, -Much *hugs tightly* featew than befowe. My bwothew's sewvants -uWu Wewe then m-my fewwows; nyow they >_> awe my m-men. -SEBASTIAN. But, f-fow youw conscience- -ANTONyIO. Ay, siw; whewe wies that? If 'twewe a kibe, -'Twouwd put >_> me *sighs* to my *cuddles you* swippew; *pokes you* but I feew n-nyot -:3 This d-deity in my bosom; *pokes you* twenty consciences -That stand 'twixt me and M-Miwan, candied be they -A-And mewt, *cuddles you* ewe they mowest! Hewe wies youw bwothew, -Nyo b-bettew than the eawth he wies upon, -If he wewe that *screams* which nyow he's wike-that's dead; -Whom I with t-this obedient s-steew, thwee i-inches of it, -Can w-way to bed fow evew; whiwes you, doing thus, -To t-the pewpetuaw wink fow aye might p-put -This ancient mowsew, this *blushes* Siw Pwudence, who -Shouwd nyot upbwaid ouw couwse. Fow aww the west, -They'ww take suggestion a-as a cat waps m-miwk; -*twerks* They'ww teww the cwock to any businyess t-that ->_> We ^.^ say befits the houw. -SEBASTIAN. Thy c-case, deaw fwiend, -Shaww be my ^.^ pwecedent; as thou got'st Miwan, -I'ww c-come by Nyapwes. Dwaw thy swowd. >_< Onye stwoke -Shaww fwee t-thee fwom t-the ^.^ twibute which thou payest; -And I the King shaww wove thee. -ANTONyIO. *sweats* Dwaw togethew; -And w-when I weaw my hand, do you the wike, -To *shuffles closer* faww it *pokes you* on Gonzawo. -SEBASTIAN. O, uWu but onye wowd. [-[They tawk apawt] - -We-entew AWIEW, invisibwe, with m-music a-and s-song - -A-AWIEW. My mastew thwough his awt fowesees the dangew -That y-you, his fwiend, awe i-in; and sends me fowth- -Fow e-ewse his pwoject dies-to keep them wiving. -[Sings i-in GONZAWO'S eaw] -Whiwe you hewe do snyowing wie, -Open-ey'd conspiwacy -His time doth t-take. -If of w-wife you keep a c-cawe, -Shake off swumbew, and bewawe. -Awake, awake! - -ANTONyIO. Then wet u-us both be sudden. -GONZAWO. Nyow, good angews -Pwesewve the King! [They wake] -A-AWONSO. Why, h-how nyow?-Ho, awake!-Why a-awe you dwawn? -Whewefowe t-this ghastwy wooking? -GONZAWO. *leans over* What's the mattew? -SEBASTIAN. Whiwes *twerks* we stood hewe ^.^ secuwing youw wepose, -Even nyow, we heawd a-a howwow buwst of bewwowing -Wike buwws, ;;w;; ow w-wathew wions; *notices bulge* did't >_> nyot *screams* wake you? -*twerks* It stwuck m-minye eaw most tewwibwy. -AWONSO. I heawd nyothing. -ANTONyIO. O, '-'twas x3 a *sighs* din to fwight a monstew's eaw, -To make an eawthquake! Suwe i-it w-was the woaw -Of a whowe OwO hewd of wions. -*looks away* AWONSO. Heawd you this, Gonzawo? -GONZAWO. Upon minye honyouw, siw, I heawd a humming, -*looks at you* And that uWu a stwange onye t-too, which did awake m-me; -I-I shak'd you, siw, ;;w;; and cwied; a-as minye eyes *shuffles closer* open'd, -I saw *sighs* theiw w-weapons dwawn-thewe w-was a n-nyoise, -*cuddles you* That's vewiwy. 'Tis best we s-stand upon ouw guawd, -Ow *looks away* that we quit this pwace. W-Wet's x3 dwaw ouw weapons. -AWONSO. Wead off this gwound; and wet's make fuwthew -seawch -Fow m-my poow *cries* son. -GONZAWO. Heavens keep him *hugs tightly* fwom these b-beasts! -Fow he is, suwe, i' th' iswand. -AWONSO. Wead away. -AWIEW. Pwospewo my wowd s-shaww knyow what I have donye; -So, King, go safewy on to seek t-thy son. Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE 2 - -Anyothew pawt of t-the *blushes* iswand - -*teleports behind you* Entew CAWIBAN, with a buwden of wood. A nyoise o-of thundew heawd - -CAWIBAN. A-Aww the infections that the sun sucks up -Fwom bogs, fens, fwats, on *looks at you* Pwospew faww, and make him -By inch-meaw a disease! His spiwits heaw me, -A-And y-yet I n-nyeeds must cuwse. But they'ww nyow pinch, -F-Fwight me w-with uwchin-shows, pitch me i' *giggles shyly* th' uWu miwe, -Nyow wead x3 me, wike a-a x3 fiwebwand, in the dawk -Out of my way, unwess he bid 'em; but -:3 Fow evewy twifwe awe *looks at you* they set upon me; -Sometime wike apes that mow and c-chattew *cries* at me, -And aftew b-bite me; then w-wike h-hedgehogs which -Wie :3 tumbwing in m-my bawefoot way, and mount -T-Theiw OwO pwicks at ^w^ my footfaww; sometime am I-I -uWu Aww wound with addews, who with cwoven tongues -Do hiss me into *pokes you* madnyess. - -Entew TWINCUWO - -Wo, nyow, wo! -Hewe comes a spiwit of ^w^ his, and to t-towment me -Fow bwinging wood in swowwy. I-I'ww faww fwat; -P-Pewchance he ^.^ wiww nyot mind *moans* me. -TWINCUWO. Hewe's nyeithew bush nyow shwub to beaw off any -weathew at aww, and anyothew *notices bulge* stowm *cries* bwewing; I heaw it -sing i' :33 th' wind. Yond same bwack ;;w;; cwoud, >_< yond UwU huge onye, -wooks wike a fouw bombawd that wouwd shed his wiquow. If -it shouwd *leans over* thundew a-as it did befowe, ;;w;; I knyow nyot whewe t-to -hide my h-head. Y-Yond same cwoud cannyot *sweats* choose but faww *twerks* by -paiwfuws. What h-have we hewe? a *sighs* man ow a xDD fish? dead ow -awive? A *sighs* fish: he smewws w-wike a fish; *screams* a vewy ancient a-and ->w< fish-wike *sighs* smeww; kind of nyot-of-the-nyewest P-Poow-John. A -stwange fish! *looks away* Wewe I in Engwand nyow, as once I was, a-and -had but this f-fish painted, nyot a h-howiday f-foow thewe b-but -wouwd g-give a piece of siwvew. Thewe wouwd this m-monstew -m-make a man; any stwange beast thewe makes a man; when -they wiww ^.^ nyot give :33 a doit t-to wewieve a wame :3 beggaw, they -wiww ^.^ way out ^w^ ten to see a-a dead *sweats* Indian. Wegg'd wike a -man, and his f-fins wike awms! W-Wawm, o' my twoth! I-I do nyow -xDD wet w-woose my o-opinyion; howd it n-nyo w-wongew: this i-is nyo -OwO fish, but an *sweats* iswandew, that hath ^w^ watewy suffewed b-by -thundewbowt. [Thundew] ;;w;; Awas, the stowm i-is c-come again! My -best way is to cweep undew his gabewdinye; thewe *sweats* is nyo -:33 othew shewtew heweabout. x3 Misewy acquaints a man with -s-stwange xDD bed-fewwows. I *leans over* wiww ^-^ hewe s-shwoud tiww the dwegs -of the stowm be past. - -Entew STEPHANyO singing; a bottwe in his hand - -xDD STEPHANyO. I *sighs* shaww nyo *twerks* mowe to sea, to sea, -Hewe shaww I d-die ashowe- -This OwO is a vewy xDD scuwvy tunye to sing at a man's funyewaw; -w-weww, hewe's my comfowt. *pokes you* [Dwinks] - -The mastew, the s-swabbew, the boatswain, >_< and I, -T-The gunnyew, a-and his m-mate, -Wov'd Maww, M-Meg, and Mawian, a-and Mawgewy, -But n-nyonye of us caw'd x3 fow *sighs* Kate; -^.^ Fow she had *giggles shyly* a tongue with *leans over* a t-tang, -W-Wouwd cwy to a-a saiwow OwO 'Go hang!' -She wov'd nyot the savouw o-of taw nyow of pitch, -Yet a-a *giggles shyly* taiwow might scwatch hew whewe'ew she did itch. -*cuddles you* Then to sea, boys, and wet hew go hang! - -This is a scuwvy tunye too; but hewe's my comfowt. -[Dwinks] -CAWIBAN. *screams* Do nyot t-towment me. O! -S-STEPHANyO. >_< What's the *teleports behind you* mattew? Have we deviws hewe? Do you -put twicks u-upon 's with savages ;;w;; and ^w^ men of Ind? Ha! *sweats* I -h-have nyot scap'd d-dwownying to be afeawd nyow of y-youw fouw -wegs; *moans* fow it hath been s-said: As pwopew a man *hugs tightly* as evew -^w^ went on fouw wegs cannyot make *sweats* him give g-gwound; and it -shaww be s-said so again, whiwe Stephanyo bweathes at -nyostwiws. -:33 CAWIBAN. The spiwit towments me. O! -STEPHANyO. This is some monstew of the iswe with f-fouw wegs, -who hath *cuddles you* got, as I take it, an ague. Whewe t-the deviw -shouwd h-he w-weawn ouw wanguage? I wiww give *cuddles you* him some -wewief, if ^-^ it be but f-fow that. If I can wecovew him, and -keep him tame, *looks at you* and get t-to Nyapwes with him, he's a -pwesent fow any empewow that evew twod on nyeat's -weathew. -CAWIBAN. Do nyot towment me, pwithee; I'ww bwing *sighs* my wood -*cuddles you* home f-fastew. -STEPHANyO. He's in his fit nyow, a-and does nyot tawk aftew the -wisest. x3 He shaww taste of my bottwe; if he have nyevew -dwunk *leans over* winye afowe, it wiww go :33 nyeaw t-to wemove his fit. If -I c-can w-wecovew him, and k-keep h-him tame, I wiww nyot t-take -too >_< much *shuffles closer* fow h-him; he shaww pay fow *teleports behind you* him that hath him, -and that soundwy. -CAWIBAN. Thou *moans* dost me yet but wittwe h-huwt; thou wiwt a-anyon, -I knyow it b-by thy twembwing; nyow Pwospew :3 wowks upon thee. -STEPHANyO. Come >_> on y-youw ways; open UwU youw *looks away* mouth; hewe is ->_< that which wiww give wanguage to y-you, cat. Open *hugs tightly* youw -mouth; this wiww shake youw *sweats* shaking, I can *cries* teww you, a-and -t-that soundwy; *cries* you cannyot xDD teww who's y-youw fwiend. Open -youw c-chaps again. -TWINCUWO. I shouwd k-knyow that v-voice; it s-shouwd be-but UwU he is -d-dwown'd; and these awe deviws. O, defend me! -STEPHANyO. Fouw wegs and two voices; a most *looks away* dewicate monstew! -His f-fowwawd OwO voice, nyow, is to speak weww of his -fwiend; his ^-^ backwawd voice is to uttew *teleports behind you* fouw speeches and -to detwact. If a-aww ^w^ the *sweats* winye in my b-bottwe >_> wiww wecovew -him, I w-wiww hewp h-his xDD ague. Come-Amen! I-I wiww pouw some -in thy othew mouth. -TWINCUWO. Stephanyo! -STEPHANyO. Doth thy othew mouth OwO caww me? Mewcy, mewcy! -*leans over* This is a deviw, and nyo monstew; >_> I wiww weave him; I -*sighs* have nyo wong spoon. -TWINCUWO. Stephanyo! If thou beest Stephanyo, touch me, and -speak to me; fow I a-am Twincuwo-be nyot afeawd-thy good -fwiend Twincuwo. -*moans* STEPHANyO. If thou beest Twincuwo, *twerks* come fowth; I'ww puww -;;w;; the b-by the wessew wegs; i-if any b-be T-Twincuwo's wegs, these -awe they. Thou awt vewy Twincuwo indeed! How cam'st thou -*sweats* to be the siege of this moon-cawf? Can he vent -Twincuwos? -TWINCUWO. I took h-him to :3 be kiww'd w-with a thundewstwoke. -But awt thou nyot dwown'd, ;;w;; Stephanyo? I-I hope nyow thou awe -nyot dwown'd. Is *cuddles you* the stowm o-ovewbwown? I hid me >_> undew the -dead moon-cawf's gabewdinye fow *sweats* feaw of the stowm. And -awt *moans* thou >w< wiving, Stephanyo? O S-Stephanyo, two Nyeapowitans -scap'd! -STEPHANyO. Pwithee, do nyot t-tuwn me ^-^ about; my stomach is nyot -c-constant. -CAWIBAN. [Aside] These b-be finye things, an if they be n-nyot -*screams* spwites. -That's a bwave god, a-and beaws cewestiaw *shuffles closer* wiquow. -I wiww knyeew to him. -STEPHANyO. How didst thou scape? *hugs tightly* How cam'st thou hithew? -Sweaw *cuddles you* by this *screams* bottwe *twerks* how thou cam'st hithew-I escap'd -upon a butt of sack, which the s-saiwows heaved o'ewboawd- -*leans over* by this >_< bottwe, which I made of the bawk of a twee, with -*looks at you* minye own hands, since I was cast ashowe. -CAWIBAN. I'ww sweaw upon that bottwe to be thy twue -subject, fow the w-wiquow is nyot eawthwy. -STEPHANyO. Hewe; s-sweaw then how thou :3 escap'dst. -*shuffles closer* TWINCUWO. Swum ashowe, man, wike a duck; I can swim wike -a d-duck, I'ww *looks away* be swown. -STEPHANyO. [Passing the bottwe] Hewe, kiss the book. Though -thou canst *cries* swim w-wike a >w< duck, thou awt *teleports behind you* made w-wike a -goose. -TWINCUWO. *shuffles closer* O ^w^ Stephanyo, h-hast any mowe of t-this? -STEPHANyO. The whowe :3 butt, man; m-my cewwaw is *sweats* in a-a *twerks* wock by -th' seaside, whewe my winye is xDD hid. How nyow, moon-cawf! -How does *sweats* thinye ague? -CAWIBAN. Hast thou nyot dwopp'd fwom heaven? ->w< STEPHANyO. *twerks* Out OwO o' th' m-moon, I do a-assuwe thee; :33 I :3 was uWu the Man -i' th' Moon, when time ^.^ was. -CAWIBAN. I h-have ^-^ seen thee i-in ^.^ hew, and I d-do adowe thee. My -mistwess show'd me thee, and thy *shuffles closer* dog and thy *screams* bush. -STEPHANyO. Come, s-sweaw to that; kiss the book. I wiww -f-fuwnyish it anyon with nyew contents. Sweaw. -[CAWIBAN dwinks] -TWINCUWO. B-By this good wight, this *looks at you* is a vewy shawwow -^-^ monstew! -I >_< afeawd of him! A vewy *leans over* weak m-monstew! T-The Man i' th' -Moon! A *blushes* most poow cweduwous monstew! Weww d-dwawn, -monstew, in good sooth! -CAWIBAN. I'ww show thee evewy fewtiwe inch *looks at you* o' th' i-iswand; -and wiww kiss thy foot. I pwithee *cuddles you* be my *teleports behind you* god. -TWINCUWO. By this wight, a most pewfidious uWu and dwunken -monstew! When's god's OwO asweep he'ww wob his bottwe. -CAWIBAN. I'ww kiss thy *teleports behind you* foot; I'ww sweaw mysewf thy -*notices bulge* subject. -*twerks* STEPHANyO. Come o-on, >_< then; down, and sweaw. -TWINCUWO. I shaww waugh mysewf to death at this puppy- -headed m-monstew. A most scuwvy monstew! I couwd xDD find in -my heawt ;;w;; to beat him- -STEPHANyO. Come, kiss. ->w< TWINCUWO. But that t-the poow monstew's i-in *giggles shyly* dwink. An -abominyabwe monstew! -C-CAWIBAN. I'ww show thee t-the best spwings; I'ww pwuck thee -b-bewwies; -I'ww *teleports behind you* fish fow thee, *notices bulge* and xDD get t-thee *cries* wood *looks away* enyough. -A pwague UwU upon the tywant that ^.^ I *leans over* sewve! -I'ww beaw him nyo mowe sticks, but fowwow t-thee, -Thou wondwous man. -TWINCUWO. A most widicuwous monstew, to *notices bulge* make a w-wondew o-of -a *screams* poow dwunkawd! -CAWIBAN. I pwithee wet me bwing thee whewe c-cwabs g-gwow; -And I with my wong >w< nyaiws wiww dig thee pig-nyuts; -Show t-thee a jay's nyest, and instwuct thee how -T-To snyawe the *shuffles closer* nyimbwe mawmoset; I'ww bwing *teleports behind you* thee -To cwust'wing fiwbewts, and sometimes I'ww get thee -Young scamews fwom the wock. *blushes* Wiwt thou go with me? -STEPHANyO. I pwithee nyow, wead the way without any mowe -tawking. Twincuwo, the *teleports behind you* King and aww ouw company >w< ewse -b-being dwown'd, we wiww inhewit hewe. Hewe, b-beaw my bottwe. -Fewwow Twincuwo, we'ww *teleports behind you* fiww *looks at you* him by a-and by again. -C-CAWIBAN. [Sings dwunkenwy] Faweweww, mastew; faweweww, -faweweww! -TWINCUWO. A howwing monstew; :33 a ^-^ dwunken monstew! -CAWIBAN. Nyo mowe dams I-I'ww make fow f-fish; -Nyow *looks at you* fetch in fiwing -At wequiwing, -N-Nyow scwape twenchewing, nyow wash dish. -'Ban 'Ban, Ca-Cawiban, ->_> Has a *sweats* nyew mastew-Get a n-nyew *pokes you* man. -Fweedom, h-high-day! high-day, fweedom! fweedom, h-high- -day, *screams* fweedom! -:33 STEPHANyO. O OwO bwave *sweats* monstew! Wead the way. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I-III. S-SCENyE 1 - -:3 Befowe PWOSPEWO'S *cries* ceww - -Entew FEWDINyAND, heawing *notices bulge* a wog - -*leans over* FEWDINyAND. >_> Thewe *shuffles closer* be some spowts awe painfuw, and theiw -wabouw -Dewight in them s-sets off; some kinds of basenyess -Awe nyobwy undewgonye, and most poow mattews -Point to wich ends. This my mean task -Wouwd be a-as *cuddles you* heavy t-to me as odious, but -The mistwess which ^-^ I >w< sewve quickens what's dead, -And makes my w-wabouws pweasuwes. O, she is -Ten *screams* times mowe gentwe than hew fathew's xDD cwabbed; -And *moans* he's compos'd of hawshnyess. *teleports behind you* I must w-wemove -Some thousands of >w< these wogs, and piwe them u-up, -Upon a s-sowe i-injunction; my sweet *pokes you* mistwess -Weeps when she sees me wowk, and says such basenyess -Had n-nyevew w-wike executow. I fowget; -But t-these sweet *notices bulge* thoughts do even wefwesh my wabouws, -Most *teleports behind you* busy, weast when I do it. - -E-Entew MIWANDA; and P-PWOSPEWO at a distance, unseen - -M-MIWANDA. Awas, nyow; pway you, -Wowk nyot so hawd; I w-wouwd the wightnying had -Buwnt up those wogs that you awe enjoin'd to *blushes* piwe. -;;w;; Pway, set it down >_< and west you; when *cries* this buwns, -'Twiww weep fow having weawied you. My fathew -*hugs tightly* Is hawd ^w^ at study; *notices bulge* pway, nyow, west *giggles shyly* youwsewf; -He's safe fow these t-thwee houws. -F-FEWDINyAND. O most deaw mistwess, -^w^ The uWu sun w-wiww set befowe I s-shaww dischawge -What OwO I must stwive uWu to do. -M-MIWANDA. If you'ww sit down, -I'ww b-beaw youw wogs the whiwe; pway give me that; -I'ww cawwy it to the piwe. -FEWDINyAND. Nyo, *cuddles you* pwecious cweatuwe; -I had wathew cwack my sinyews, bweak my back, -Than you shouwd such >w< dishonyouw undewgo, -Whiwe I sit wazy by. -MIWANDA. It wouwd xDD become me -A-As weww as it does you; *leans over* and I shouwd do it -With much mowe *cries* ease; fow *looks at you* my *teleports behind you* good wiww is to it, -:3 And youws it is against. -uWu PWOSPEWO. [Aside] Poow wowm, thou awt infected! -This visitation shows it. -MIWANDA. You wook weawiwy. -FEWDINyAND. Nyo, OwO nyobwe *notices bulge* mistwess; *sighs* 'tis fwesh mownying with m-me -W-When *twerks* you awe by at n-nyight. I *looks at you* do beseech you, -Chiefwy that I *shuffles closer* might set it in my pwayews, -What is youw nyame? -MIWANDA. M-Miwanda-O my fathew, -I have bwoke youw hest to say so! -FEWDINyAND. Admiw'd Miwanda! -What's d-deawest to *pokes you* the wowwd! Fuww many a wady -I h-have ey'd with best wegawd; and many a t-time -Th' hawmony of theiw tongues hath into bondage -Bwought my too d-diwigent eaw; fow sevewaw viwtues -Have I w-wik'd sevewaw women, nyevew any -*sweats* With so fuww s-souw, but some defect in hew -Did *cries* quawwew with the nyobwest gwace she o-ow'd, -And put it to the foiw; *looks at you* but you, O-O you, -So pewfect and so peewwess, awe cweated -Of e-evewy cweatuwe's best! -:33 MIWANDA. >_< I do nyot knyow -Onye of my sex; nyo woman's face x3 wemembew, -Save, fwom my gwass, *giggles shyly* minye own; nyow have I s-seen -Mowe that I may caww ;;w;; men than *leans over* you, good fwiend, -And my deaw fathew. How featuwes >_< awe abwoad, -I am skiwwess o-of; but, by ;;w;; my modesty, -T-The jewew in my d-dowew, I wouwd nyot wish -Any c-companyion in the wowwd but *blushes* you; -Nyow c-can imaginyation fowm a shape, -Besides y-youwsewf, to wike of. *moans* But I pwattwe -Something too w-wiwdwy, and my fathew's pwecepts -^.^ I thewein do f-fowget. -FEWDINyAND. I am, in my condition, -A-A :33 pwince, Miwanda; I do think, a king- -I wouwd nyot so!-and wouwd nyo mowe ^w^ enduwe -This wooden swavewy t-than to suffew -The f-fwesh-fwy bwow my uWu mouth. Heaw my souw :33 speak: -^.^ The vewy instant that I saw you, did -My heawt fwy to youw sewvice; t-thewe wesides -To make m-me *sweats* swave to it; and fow youw sake -A-Am I this p-patient wog-man. -MIWANDA. D-Do >w< you wove me? -*shuffles closer* FEWDINyAND. O heaven, O *leans over* eawth, beaw ;;w;; witnyess *moans* to this :33 sound, -And cwown what I pwofess with kind event, -If I speak twue! If howwowwy, invewt -What best is boded me to mischief! I, -Beyond aww wimit o-of what ewse *looks away* i' t-th' wowwd, -*cries* Do wove, pwize, honyouw you. -MIWANDA. I am a f-foow -T-To weep a-at what I am gwad of. -P-PWOSPEWO. [Aside] Faiw encountew -Of two most wawe affections! Heavens wain gwace -On that which *sighs* bweeds between xDD 'em! -FEWDINyAND. Whewefowe w-weep you? -MIWANDA. At minye unwowthinyess, that d-dawe nyot offew -What I-I *screams* desiwe t-to give, and much *looks at you* wess take -What I s-shaww d-die to want. But this is t-twifwing; -And aww the mowe it seeks to h-hide itsewf, -The biggew b-buwk it shows. OwO Hence, bashfuw c-cunnying! -And pwompt me, ^.^ pwain and howy innyocence! -*cries* I am youw wife, if you w-wiww m-mawwy me; -I-If nyot, I'ww d-die youw maid. To be y-youw :33 fewwow -You m-may deny me; but I'ww be youw sewvant, -W-Whethew you wiww ow nyo. -FEWDINyAND. My mistwess, deawest; -xDD And I thus humbwe evew. -MIWANDA. My *pokes you* husband, then? -F-FEWDINyAND. A-Ay, with OwO a heawt as wiwwing -As b-bondage e'ew of *teleports behind you* fweedom. Hewe's my hand. -MIWANDA. And minye, with my heawt in't. ;;w;; And nyow :3 faweweww -T-Tiww hawf a-an houw hence. -FEWDINyAND. A-A thousand ^-^ thousand! -E-Exeunt F-FEWDINyAND and M-MIWANDA sevewawwy -*screams* PWOSPEWO. So gwad o-of this as they UwU I c-cannyot be, -Who awe suwpwis'd withaw; but my wejoicing -At nyothing can b-be mowe. *twerks* I'ww to my book; -Fow yet ewe suppew time must ;;w;; I pewfowm -Much businyess *notices bulge* appewtainying. Exit - - - - -SCENyE 2 - -Anyothew pawt of xDD the iswand - -Entew CAWIBAN, STEPHANyO, and TWINCUWO - -STEPHANyO. Teww nyot me-when the butt is out *notices bulge* we w-wiww dwink -watew, nyot a dwop befowe; thewefowe beaw up, and boawd -'em. Sewvant-monstew, d-dwink *sighs* to me. -OwO TWINCUWO. Sewvant-monstew! The fowwy of t-this *cries* iswand! x3 They -say thewe's but five upon this iswe: w-we awe thwee of -them; if th' othew *shuffles closer* two *twerks* be bwain'd w-wike us, the s-state -tottews. -STEPHANyO. Dwink, sewvant-monstew, when I uWu bid thee; thy -e-eyes a-awe awmost set i-in thy *blushes* head. -TWINCUWO. *looks at you* Whewe shouwd t-they be set ewse? UwU He wewe UwU a *moans* bwave -monstew indeed, if *hugs tightly* they wewe ^-^ set *sighs* in his x3 taiw. -STEPHANyO. uWu My *moans* man-monstew hath dwown'd his tongue ^-^ in ->_< sack. Fow my pawt, the sea cannyot dwown *sweats* me; I swam, ewe -I couwd wecovew the showe, five and thiwty weagues, off -and on. By this uWu wight, t-thou shawt be my *sighs* wieutenyant, -monstew, ow my standawd. -TWINCUWO. Youw wieutenyant, if ^-^ you w-wist; he's nyo *giggles shyly* standawd. -STEPHANyO. We'ww nyot wun, Monsieuw Monstew. -T-TWINCUWO. Nyow go nyeithew; but uWu you'ww w-wie wike *cuddles you* dogs, and -*looks away* yet say nyothing *screams* nyeithew. -STEPHANyO. M-Moon-cawf, s-speak once in thy wife, if thou beest -a-a good moon-cawf. -CAWIBAN. *teleports behind you* How does thy honyouw? *hugs tightly* Wet me wick t-thy shoe. -I'ww nyot sewve h-him; he i-is nyot vawiant. -TWINCUWO. Thou wiest, most *twerks* ignyowant monstew: I >w< am in c-case -to justwe a constabwe. Why, thou debosh'd fish, thou, -was thewe evew *twerks* man a-a cowawd that *cries* hath dwunk so much sack -as I to-day? Wiwt thou teww a *blushes* monstwous w-wie, being but -hawf fish and hawf a-a >_> monstew? -CAWIBAN. :3 Wo, how UwU he mocks me! Wiwt thou wet *notices bulge* him, my -wowd? -TWINCUWO. 'Wowd' quoth he! That a monstew *screams* shouwd be such -a nyatuwaw! -CAWIBAN. Wo, wo again! Bite him t-to death, I ;;w;; pwithee. -x3 STEPHANyO. Twincuwo, keep a good tongue in youw h-head; if -*moans* you pwove ;;w;; a *shuffles closer* mutinyeew-the nyext twee! The poow monstew's -my subject, and h-he shaww *cuddles you* nyot s-suffew indignyity. -:3 CAWIBAN. I thank >w< my nyobwe wowd. Wiwt :33 thou be pweas'd t-to -heawken once again to >_< the suit I made t-to thee? -STEPHANyO. M-Mawwy wiww I; xDD knyeew a-and wepeat it; I wiww stand, -and so shaww Twincuwo. - -^w^ Entew *notices bulge* AWIEW, UwU invisibwe - -CAWIBAN. As I towd thee befowe, I a-am s-subject t-to *teleports behind you* a tywant, -sowcewew, that by his cunnying hath cheated *sighs* me of the -:3 iswand. -AWIEW. Thou wiest. -CAWIBAN. Thou wiest, thou jesting monkey, thou; -I-I wouwd my vawiant mastew wouwd destwoy *sweats* thee. -I do *leans over* nyot wie. -S-STEPHANyO. *hugs tightly* Twincuwo, if you twoubwe him any *notices bulge* mowe in's tawe, -by >_< this h-hand, I wiww suppwant some of youw *looks away* teeth. -TWINCUWO. Why, I said nyothing. -STEPHANyO. M-Mum, then, and nyo mowe. P-Pwoceed. -CAWIBAN. I say, b-by s-sowcewy he got this iswe; -Fwom me he *cries* got UwU it. If thy gweatnyess wiww -Wevenge i-it on h-him-fow I knyow thou daw'st, -But >w< this thing dawe n-nyot- -STEPHANyO. That's m-most cewtain. -CAWIBAN. Thou s-shawt *moans* be w-wowd of it, and I'ww sewve thee. -*looks at you* STEPHANyO. How nyow shaww this *looks at you* be compass'd? Canst thou -bwing me >w< to the pawty? -C-CAWIBAN. Yea, yea, my wowd; I'ww yiewd h-him *moans* thee asweep, ->_< Whewe thou mayst knyock a nyaiw i-into his head. -AWIEW. Thou wiest; thou *blushes* canst nyot. -CAWIBAN. What a-a pied nyinny's this! T-Thou scuwvy patch! -*sighs* I *sweats* do beseech thy gweatnyess, give him bwows, -And take uWu his b-bottwe fwom him. *sweats* When *cuddles you* that's g-gonye -H-He s-shaww dwink n-nyought *looks away* but bwinye; fow I'ww *leans over* nyot s-show him -Whewe the quick fweshes a-awe. -STEPHANyO. *looks at you* Twincuwo, wun into nyo ^.^ fuwthew dangew; intewwupt -the *cries* monstew onye wowd f-fuwthew and, x3 by t-this hand, I'ww tuwn -uWu my *giggles shyly* mewcy out o' doows, and make a stock-fish of thee. -TWINCUWO. Why, ;;w;; what did I? I did *notices bulge* nyothing. I'ww go fawthew -off. -STEPHANyO. Didst thou nyot say he wied? -AWIEW. Thou wiest. -;;w;; STEPHANyO. Do *leans over* I so? Take thou that. [Beats ^.^ him] As you w-wike -this, give me the *hugs tightly* wie a-anyothew *moans* time. -TWINCUWO. I-I did nyot give the wie. Out o' youw wits and -heawing too? A pox o' youw bottwe! *cries* This can sack and -dwinking do. A muwwain *giggles shyly* on youw monstew, and the *notices bulge* deviw -take youw fingews! -CAWIBAN. Ha, ha, ha! -STEPHANyO. Nyow, fowwawd with youw tawe.-Pwithee stand -fuwthew off. -CAWIBAN. Beat him enyough; aftew a wittwe time, I'ww beat -h-him too. -STEPHANyO. Stand f-fawthew. Come, p-pwoceed. -CAWIBAN. W-Why, as I towd thee, 'tis a custom with him -I-I' th' aftewnyoon to sweep; thewe thou x3 mayst bwain him, -Having fiwst seiz'd h-his books; ow with a wog -Battew his skuww, ow paunch him with *screams* a stake, -*teleports behind you* Ow cut his uWu wezand with *blushes* thy knyife. *giggles shyly* Wemembew -Fiwst to possess his books; >_> fow without them -*looks away* He's but a-a sot, as I a-am, nyow hath nyot -Onye spiwit :33 to command; they aww do *leans over* hate him -As w-wootedwy as I-I. *screams* Buwn but his books. -He has bwave utensiws-fow so he cawws them- -Which, *twerks* when h-he h-has xDD a house, he'ww deck withaw. -And x3 that ^-^ most deepwy to considew is -*blushes* The b-beauty of his daughtew; he himsewf -Cawws hew a nyonpaweiw. I nyevew saw a woman -But onwy Sycowax *twerks* my dam and s-she; -But s-she as faw suwpasseth Sycowax -As gweat'st does weast. -S-STEPHANyO. Is >w< it so bwave a wass? -*twerks* CAWIBAN. Ay, wowd; she wiww become thy b-bed, I-I wawwant, -And bwing thee fowth bwave bwood. -STEPHANyO. *hugs tightly* Monstew, I wiww kiww this man; his daughtew and I -wiww be King and Queen-save ouw Gwaces!-and Twincuwo -and thysewf *looks at you* shaww be vicewoys. Dost thou *sweats* wike the pwot, -T-Twincuwo? -TWINCUWO. Excewwent. -STEPHANyO. Give m-me *giggles shyly* thy hand; I am sowwy I beat thee; but -whiwe thou wiv'st, keep a good tongue in thy head. -CAWIBAN. Within t-this hawf h-houw >_< wiww he be asweep. -Wiwt thou destwoy him then? -STEPHANyO. Ay, on minye honyouw. -AWIEW. This wiww I t-teww m-my mastew. -CAWIBAN. Thou m-mak'st me mewwy; I am fuww of pweasuwe. -Wet uWu us be jocund; wiww *shuffles closer* you twoww the catch -You taught m-me but OwO whiwe-ewe? -STEPHANyO. At thy wequest, monstew, I w-wiww do weason, any -weason. C-Come on, Twincuwo, wet us sing. [Sings] - -Fwout 'em and scout 'em, -And scout ^.^ 'em and fwout 'em; -Thought is fwee. - -CAWIBAN. That's nyot the tunye. -[AWIEW pways the *blushes* tunye *teleports behind you* on a tabow and pipe] -STEPHANyO. What i-is this same? -TWINCUWO. This is the tunye of ouw catch, *shuffles closer* pway'd OwO by the -pictuwe of *sweats* Nyobody. -STEPHANyO. *cuddles you* If t-thou beest a man, show thysewf in thy -wikenyess; if t-thou >w< beest a deviw, take't as thou *sighs* wist. -TWINCUWO. O, fowgive me my sins! -STEPHANyO. He that dies pays aww debts. I defy thee. M-Mewcy -upon us! -C-CAWIBAN. Awt t-thou afeawd? -STEPHANyO. Nyo, monstew, n-nyot I. -CAWIBAN. B-Be nyot afeawd. The iswe is fuww ^.^ of nyoises, -Sounds, and *moans* sweet aiws, that give dewight, and huwt nyot. -Sometimes UwU a ^w^ thousand twangwing i-instwuments -Wiww hum about minye eaws; and sometimes v-voices, -That, i-if I *sighs* then had wak'd aftew w-wong sweep, -Wiww make me sweep again; and then, in dweaming, -The cwouds methought wouwd UwU open *sighs* and show wiches -Weady to dwop upon me, that, w-when I wak'd, -I cwied to dweam again. -STEPHANyO. This wiww pwove *sighs* a *sweats* bwave ^-^ kingdom to m-me, whewe I -*looks at you* shaww have my music *leans over* fow n-nyothing. -C-CAWIBAN. When Pwospewo is destwoy'd. -*notices bulge* STEPHANyO. That shaww be b-by a-and by; I-I wemembew the *moans* stowy. -TWINCUWO. The s-sound is g-going away; w-wet's fowwow *screams* it, and -aftew do ouw ^-^ wowk. -S-STEPHANyO. Wead, monstew; w-we'ww fowwow. I wouwd ;;w;; I couwd see -this >_> tabowew; he *blushes* ways it on. -TWINCUWO. Wiwt come? I'ww fowwow, Stephanyo. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE 3 - -Anyothew pawt of the iswand - -Entew AWONSO, >_< SEBASTIAN, ANTONyIO, GONZAWO, ADWIAN, FWANCISCO, and OTHEWS - -GONZAWO. By'w w-wakin, I c-can go nyo fuwthew, siw; -My :33 owd bonyes a-ache. Hewe's >_< a maze twod, indeed, -Thwough *cuddles you* fowth-wights and meandews! By youw patience, -I n-nyeeds :3 must x3 west me. -xDD AWONSO. Owd wowd, I-I cannyot bwame thee, -Who am m-mysewf *pokes you* attach'd w-with *blushes* weawinyess -*blushes* To th' duwwing of my spiwits; sit *twerks* down and w-west. -Even hewe I wiww *looks at you* put off m-my hope, and keep it -Nyo wongew fow OwO my f-fwattewew; h-he is dwown'd -:33 Whom t-thus we stway to find, and the s-sea mocks -Ouw fwustwate seawch o-on wand. Weww, wet him g-go. -ANTONyIO. [Aside to SEBASTIAN] *sweats* I am wight gwad that *pokes you* he's -so out of hope. -*hugs tightly* Do nyot, fow onye wepuwse, f-fowgo the puwpose -That >w< you w-wesowv'd t' effect. -SEBASTIAN. *sweats* [Aside to ANTONyIO] The nyext advantage -Wiww we take thwoughwy. -ANTONyIO. [Aside to SEBASTIAN] Wet it be *giggles shyly* to-nyight; -F-Fow, nyow they *teleports behind you* awe oppwess'd with twavew, they -Wiww nyot, *shuffles closer* nyow cannyot, use such vigiwance -As w-when they a-awe fwesh. -*twerks* SEBASTIAN. [Aside *moans* to ANTONyIO] I *cuddles you* say, to-nyight; nyo mowe. - -Sowemn and stwange music; and PWOSPEWO ^w^ on the ->_> top, invisibwe. Entew sevewaw stwange SHAPES, -bwinging in a banquet; and dance a-about it >w< with -gentwe xDD actions of sawutations; and inviting the -KING, etc., ^w^ to eat, they depawt - -AWONSO. What hawmony is this? My good >w< fwiends, hawk! -G-GONZAWO. Mawvewwous sweet music! -AWONSO. Give us kind keepews, heavens! What wewe these? -SEBASTIAN. A wiving dwowwewy. Nyow I wiww bewieve -That thewe awe unyicowns; that in Awabia -*screams* Thewe i-is onye twee, the p-phoenyix' thwonye, onye phoenyix -At this houw weignying-thewe. -ANTONyIO. *notices bulge* I'ww bewieve both; -A-And what does ewse want c-cwedit, come to me, -And I'ww be uWu swown 'tis twue; *twerks* twavewwews nye'ew did wie, -Though foows *leans over* at home condemn 'em. -GONZAWO. If in Nyapwes -I shouwd wepowt this nyow, w-wouwd they bewieve >_< me? -If *looks away* I shouwd say, I saw such iswandews, -Fow cewtes t-these awe peopwe o-of t-the iswand, -W-Who though they awe of m-monstwous >_> shape yet, nyote, -Theiw mannyews awe m-mowe gentwe-kind than *sweats* of -Ouw *shuffles closer* human genyewation you shaww find -M-Many, nyay, awmost any. -PWOSPEWO. [Aside] H-Honyest wowd, -Thou *sighs* hast said weww; fow some of uWu you t-thewe pwesent -Awe wowse t-than deviws. -AWONSO. I cannyot too much muse -Such shapes, such gestuwe, and such sound, expwessing, -Awthough they want the use o-of tongue, *twerks* a kind -O-Of excewwent *sighs* dumb discouwse. -*sweats* PWOSPEWO. [Aside] Pwaise in depawting. -FWANCISCO. They vanyish'd stwangewy. -SEBASTIAN. Nyo mattew, since -They have >_< weft theiw v-viands behind; f-fow we have OwO stomachs. -Wiww't pwease you taste of what is hewe? -AWONSO. Nyot I. -GONZAWO. Faith, siw, y-you nyeed nyot feaw. When we wewe b-boys, -*screams* Who wouwd bewieve that thewe >w< wewe mountainyeews, -Dewwapp'd wike buwws, whose *notices bulge* thwoats xDD had *cuddles you* hanging at 'em -*sighs* Wawwets of fwesh? ;;w;; ow that t-thewe wewe such men -W-Whose heads stood i-in theiw bweasts? w-which nyow we find -Each puttew-out *leans over* of five fow onye wiww b-bwing us -Good uWu wawwant of. -AWONSO. I wiww stand to, and feed, -Awthough my wast; ;;w;; nyo mattew, since I feew -The best is past. *sighs* Bwothew, my wowd the Duke, -Stand to, and do as we. - -Thundew *blushes* and wightnying. Entew *hugs tightly* AWIEW, *looks at you* wike a hawpy; -cwaps his wings upon ^w^ the tabwe; and, with a quaint -device, the banquet vanyishes - ->_> AWIEW. You awe thwee men of sin, whom Destiny, -*giggles shyly* That hath to instwument this wowew >_< wowwd -And what is in't, the nyevew-suwfeited sea -Hath caus'd to b-bewch up you; and on *sighs* this ;;w;; iswand -Whewe man doth nyot inhabit-you 'mongst men -*sweats* Being most unfit to *screams* wive. I have *twerks* made you mad; -And even with such-wike vawouw ^w^ men hang and dwown -Theiw pwopew sewves. -[AWONSO, S-SEBASTIAN etc., dwaw theiw swowds] -You foows! I and >_> my fewwows -Awe minyistews of Fate; the ewements -Of whom y-youw x3 swowds awe tempew'd *looks away* may as ^w^ weww -Wound the woud *sweats* winds, o-ow with bemock'd-at s-stabs ->_< Kiww the stiww-cwosing watews, as diminyish -Onye *cries* dowwe that's i-in x3 my p-pwume; my fewwow-minyistews -Awe wike ^.^ invuwnyewabwe. If you *giggles shyly* couwd huwt, -Youw swowds awe nyow too massy fow youw stwengths -And wiww nyot be upwifted. But wemembew- -Fow that's my businyess to you-that you thwee -Fwom *pokes you* Miwan did suppwant *notices bulge* good Pwospewo; -Expos'd unto the :33 sea, which hath OwO wequit it, -Him, and his innyocent chiwd; fow which *looks at you* fouw deed -The pow'ws, dewaying, nyot fowgetting, have -Incens'd the s-seas and showes, yea, aww the cweatuwes, -*blushes* Against youw p-peace. T-Thee of thy son, OwO Awonso, -*twerks* They have beweft; >_> and do pwonyounce >w< by me -Wing'wing pewdition, >w< wowse than a-any death -Can >w< be at o-once, shaww step *hugs tightly* by s-step attend -You and youw ways; whose wwaths to guawd you f-fwom- -Which hewe, in *looks away* this most desowate iswe, ewse fawws -Upon youw *notices bulge* heads-is nyothing *sweats* but heawt's sowwow, -And a cweaw wife *cuddles you* ensuing. - -H-He vanyishes x3 in thundew; then, UwU to soft m-music, entew -t-the S-SHAPES again, and dance, with mocks and mows, -a-and *sweats* cawwying out the *twerks* tabwe - -PWOSPEWO. Bwavewy the figuwe of this hawpy >w< hast thou ->w< Pewfowm'd, my Awiew; a gwace i-it had, devouwing. -Of my instwuction OwO hast thou nyothing b-bated -In xDD what thou hadst *moans* to say; s-so, *hugs tightly* with good wife -A-And obsewvation ^-^ stwange, my meanyew minyistews -Theiw sevewaw kinds have donye. My high chawms wowk, -And t-these minye enyemies awe aww knyit up -In theiw distwactions. They *looks at you* nyow awe in my pow'w; -And in *looks away* these fits I-I weave them, *hugs tightly* whiwe I *sweats* visit -Young Fewdinyand, whom they suppose i-is dwown'd, -*sweats* And his and minye *giggles shyly* wov'd dawwing. Exit *pokes you* above -GONZAWO. I-I' th' nyame of something howy, siw, w-why stand you -In this stwange *blushes* stawe? -AWONSO. O, it is monstwous, monstwous! -Methought the biwwows >_> spoke, and towd *looks at you* me of it; -The winds did sing it *cuddles you* to me; and t-the thundew, -That deep and dweadfuw >_< owgan-pipe, *giggles shyly* pwonyounc'd -The nyame of Pwospew; it did bass my *looks at you* twespass. -Thewefowe my s-son *blushes* i' th' o-ooze is bedded; and -I'ww *cries* seek him deepew than e'ew p-pwummet sounded, -And with him thewe wie mudded. Exit -SEBASTIAN. But onye fiend a-at a t-time, -I'ww fight theiw *moans* wegions UwU o'ew. -ANTONyIO. I'ww be t-thy second. Exeunt SEBASTIAN and ANTONyIO -GONZAWO. Aww thwee of *blushes* them awe despewate; theiw x3 gweat guiwt, -Wike *moans* poison given to wowk a gweat time UwU aftew, -Nyow gins t-to bite UwU the spiwits. I do beseech you, -That awe of >w< suppwew joints, fowwow them swiftwy, -A-And hindew them fwom what this e-ecstasy -May nyow >_< pwovoke them to. -ADWIAN. Fowwow, I pway y-you. Exeunt - - - - -^w^ <w< MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG *sighs* AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *moans* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME >_> OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT ^-^ IV. SCENyE 1 - -^w^ Befowe PWOSPEWO'S ceww - -*shuffles closer* Entew *looks at you* PWOSPEWO, FEWDINyAND, and MIWANDA - -PWOSPEWO. I-If I *moans* have too austewewy punyish'd you, -Youw c-compensation m-makes ^.^ amends; fow -*cuddles you* Have given you hewe a-a thiwd *looks away* of minye own wife, -*cries* Ow that fow which I wive; who o-once a-again -I tendew to thy ^.^ hand. Aww thy vexations -Wewe but my twiaws of thy wove, and thou -H-Hast stwangewy *moans* stood the test; hewe, afowe h-heaven, -I xDD watify t-this my wich gift. O ^.^ Fewdinyand! -Do nyot smiwe at me *giggles shyly* that I boast h-hew off, -Fow thou shawt find *sweats* she wiww outstwip aww pwaise, -And make *cries* it hawt behind hew. -F-FEWDINyAND. I *shuffles closer* do >w< bewieve i-it -Against a-an ^w^ owacwe. -:3 PWOSPEWO. Then, as my gift, a-and >w< thinye own a-acquisition -Wowt'hiwy puwchas'd, t-take my *looks away* daughtew. But -If thou dost bweak hew viwgin-knyot befowe -A-Aww ;;w;; sanctimonyious cewemonyies may -With fuww and howy wite be minyist'wed, -Nyo sweet aspewsion shaww the heavens wet faww -To make this contwact gwow; but bawwen *teleports behind you* hate, -Souw-ey'd d-disdain, and discowd, *shuffles closer* shaww bestwew -The unyion of youw b-bed with weeds s-so woathwy -That you shaww hate it both. Thewefowe take heed, -As H-Hymen's wamps shaww wight you. -FEWDINyAND. As I-I hope -:3 Fow quiet *leans over* days, faiw :3 issue, and *twerks* wong wife, -With such wove a-as 'tis nyow, the muwkiest den, -The most oppowtunye pwace, the stwong'st suggestion -Ouw w-wowsew genyius can, shaww nyevew mewt -*notices bulge* Minye honyouw into wust, to take away -The edge of that day's cewebwation, -When I shaww think ow Phoebus' steeds awe foundew'd -Ow Nyight kept chain'd bewow. -PWOSPEWO. *looks at you* Faiwwy spoke. -Sit, then, and tawk with hew; she is *hugs tightly* thinye own. -*teleports behind you* What, Awiew! my i-industwious ^w^ sewvant, Awiew! - -Entew A-AWIEW - -AWIEW. What wouwd my potent mastew? Hewe I am. -PWOSPEWO. Thou a-and thy meanyew fewwows youw wast *blushes* sewvice -D-Did wowthiwy pewfowm; and I-I ^.^ must use you -In s-such anyothew twick. Go bwing the w-wabbwe, -*notices bulge* O'ew whom I g-give thee pow'w, hewe to this *hugs tightly* pwace. -I-Incite them to q-quick motion; f-fow *moans* I must -Bestow upon the eyes of t-this *leans over* young coupwe -^.^ Some vanyity of minye awt; it is my p-pwomise, -A-And t-they expect *leans over* it fwom me. -AWIEW. Pwesentwy? -PWOSPEWO. A-Ay, with *blushes* a t-twink. -AWIEW. B-Befowe you can say 'come' and 'go,' -*sighs* And bweathe twice, and cwy 'so, so,' -Each onye, t-twipping on his toe, -W-Wiww be hewe w-with mop and mow. -Do you wove me, mastew? Nyo? -PWOSPEWO. D-Deawwy, my dewicate Awiew. D-Do *looks away* nyot appwoach -Tiww thou *teleports behind you* dost heaw me caww. -AWIEW. Weww! I-I c-conceive. Exit -PWOSPEWO. Wook t-thou be twue; d-do *notices bulge* nyot g-give dawwiance -Too much the wein; the stwongest oaths awe stwaw -*notices bulge* To ^.^ th' UwU fiwe i' th' *leans over* bwood. Be m-mowe abstemious, -Ow ewse good n-nyight youw vow! -FEWDINyAND. I wawwant you, siw, -^.^ The white cowd v-viwgin snyow upon m-my heawt -Abates the ^w^ awdouw of my wivew. -PWOSPEWO. W-Weww! -Nyow come, my Awiew, b-bwing a-a cowowwawy, -Wathew than want a spiwit; appeaw, a-and ^-^ pewtwy. -Nyo tongue! Aww eyes! Be siwent. [Soft music] - -Entew IWIS - -IWIS. Cewes, most *leans over* bounteous w-wady, thy w-wich weas -Of wheat, w-wye, bawwey, vetches, oats, and pease; -Thy tuwfy mountains, *hugs tightly* whewe wive nyibbwing sheep, -And fwat meads thatch'd with stovew, them to k-keep; -T-Thy banks UwU with pionyed and t-twiwwed bwims, -Which spongy Apwiw at thy hest betwims, -To m-make c-cowd nymphs UwU chaste *screams* cwowns; *teleports behind you* and thy b-bwoom gwoves, -Whose shadow the dismissed bachewow woves, -Being wass-wown; OwO thy powe-cwipt vinyeyawd; -And thy *pokes you* sea-mawge, stewiwe and wocky ;;w;; hawd, -Whewe thou *hugs tightly* thysewf dost aiw-the Queen o' t-th' sky, -Whose wat'wy awch >w< and messengew am I, -Bids t-thee weave these; and with *leans over* hew soveweign gwace, -Hewe uWu on this gwass-pwot, in this vewy p-pwace, -To come and spowt. Hew peacocks uWu fwy a-amain. -[-[JUNyO *leans over* descends in hew caw] -Appwoach, wich C-Cewes, *screams* hew *blushes* to entewtain. - -*looks away* Entew CEWES - -CEWES. >_> Haiw, many-cowouwed messengew, that nye'ew -*notices bulge* Dost disobey the w-wife of Jupitew; -Who, w-with thy saffwon wings, upon my f-fwow'ws ->_< Diffusest *hugs tightly* honyey d-dwops, wefweshing show'ws; -And with each end of thy bwue bow dost cwown -My bosky acwes and my unshwubb'd down, -Wich *twerks* scawf to my pwoud *notices bulge* eawth-why hath thy *leans over* Queen -uWu Summon'd me hithew to ;;w;; this showt-gwass'd gween? -IWIS. A contwact of twue wove to cewebwate, -And some donyation fweewy to estate -*looks away* On the bwest wovews. -CEWES. Teww me, heavenwy bow, -If uWu Venyus ow hew s-son, a-as thou ^w^ dost knyow, -Do nyow attend *cries* the Queen? Since they did >w< pwot -*looks at you* The means that dusky Dis my daughtew got, -Hew a-and hew b-bwind boy's scandaw'd company -I have fowswown. -IWIS. Of hew society -Be nyot afwaid. I met hew Deity -Cutting the x3 cwouds towawds Paphos, a-and hew s-son -D-Dove-dwawn with hew. Hewe thought they to have d-donye -Some wanton OwO chawm upon this man a-and maid, -W-Whose vows awe that n-nyo bed-wite shaww be paid -Tiww Hymen's towch be wighted; but in vain. -Maws's uWu hot minyion i-is *notices bulge* wetuwn'd again; -Hew waspish-headed son h-has bwoke h-his awwows, -S-Sweaws he wiww *cuddles you* shoot nyo mowe, but pway with spawwows, -And *notices bulge* be a boy wight out. [JUNyO awights] -CEWES. Highest Q-Queen of State, -Gweat Junyo, comes; I-I knyow hew b-by hew g-gait. -JUNyO. H-How does *teleports behind you* my bounteous sistew? Go *sighs* with me -To b-bwess this *teleports behind you* twain, that they may pwospewous be, -*leans over* And honyouw'd in t-theiw i-issue. [They sing] -JUNyO. H-Honyouw, wiches, mawwiage-bwessing, -Wong continyuance, and incweasing, -Houwwy joys be stiww upon you! -Junyo sings hew b-bwessings on you. -CEWES. >_< Eawth's incwease, foison p-pwenty, -Bawns ^-^ and gamews nyevew empty; -Vinyes with c-cwust'wing bunches gwowing, -Pwants with goodwy buwden bowing; -Spwing come to you a-at t-the fawthest, -In the vewy end xDD of hawvest! -Scawcity x3 and want shaww *leans over* shun you, -Cewes' bwessing so i-is on ^-^ you. -FEWDINyAND. This is a-a ^-^ most m-majestic vision, and -Hawmonyious chawmingwy. May *cries* I *giggles shyly* be bowd -To t-think these :3 spiwits? -P-PWOSPEWO. Spiwits, *sweats* which by minye awt -I-I have fwom theiw confinyes caww'd to enyact -My p-pwesent fancies. -FEWDINyAND. >w< Wet me OwO wive hewe evew; -So wawe a wond'wed fathew and a wise -Makes this pwace Pawadise. -[JUNyO and CEWES :33 whispew, and s-send IWIS on empwoyment] -PWOSPEWO. Sweet nyow, :33 siwence; -J-Junyo *twerks* and Cewes whispew sewiouswy. -Thewe's s-something ewse t-to do; hush, and be mute, -Ow ewse ouw speww *blushes* is maww'd. -IWIS. x3 You nymphs, c-caww'd Nyaiads, of the wind'wing bwooks, -With youw sedg'd c-cwowns and evew hawmwess wooks, -Weave youw cwisp channyews, and on t-this *blushes* gween wand -Answew youw summons; Junyo does command. -Come, tempewate nymphs, and hewp OwO to cewebwate -A contwact of twue wove; be nyot ^.^ too *looks away* wate. - -Entew c-cewtain NYMPHS - -You *hugs tightly* sun-buwnt sickwemen, o-of August w-weawy, -Come hithew fwom the fuwwow, and ;;w;; be mewwy; -M-Make howiday; youw wye-stwaw hats *screams* put *giggles shyly* on, -And these fwesh nymphs encountew evewy onye -In countwy footing. - -Entew ^w^ cewtain WEAPEWS, pwopewwy habited; they join -with the N-NYMPHS in a gwacefuw dance; towawds the -end wheweof PWOSPEWO stawts suddenwy, and *hugs tightly* speaks, -aftew which, t-to a stwange, howwow, and confused -*sighs* nyoise, ^w^ they heaviwy vanyish - -PWOSPEWO. *moans* [Aside] I had fowgot that fouw conspiwacy -O-Of the beast Cawiban and his confedewates -*moans* Against my wife; the minyute of theiw p-pwot -Is awmost come. [To the SPIWITS] Weww donye; avoid; nyo -mowe! -FEWDINyAND. This is stwange; youw fathew's in *looks away* some passion -That w-wowks him stwongwy. -M-MIWANDA. Nyevew tiww t-this day -Saw I him touch'd with angew so distempew'd. -PWOSPEWO. You do wook, my son, in a mov'd *sweats* sowt, -As if y-you wewe *sweats* dismay'd; be cheewfuw, siw. -Ouw wevews n-nyow a-awe ended. T-These ouw actows, -As I f-fowetowd you, w-wewe aww spiwits, and -Awe >_> mewted into aiw, into thin aiw; -And, *hugs tightly* wike the basewess fabwic of t-this vision, -The cwoud-capp'd towews, the *looks away* gowgeous pawaces, -The sowemn tempwes, the gweat gwobe itsewf, -Yea, aww UwU which it inhewit, shaww d-dissowve, -And, *pokes you* wike this insubstantiaw pageant faded, -Weave nyot a wack b-behind. We awe such stuff -As d-dweams awe made on; and ouw wittwe wife -Is wounded with a s-sweep. Siw, I am vex'd; -Beaw w-with my *moans* weaknyess; my owd bwain is twoubwed; -Be nyot distuwb'd with my infiwmity. -If you be ;;w;; pweas'd, wetiwe into my ceww -A-And thewe *screams* wepose; a tuwn ow two I'ww wawk -To stiww my beating mind. -F-FEWDINyAND, MIWANDA. We wish youw p-peace. Exeunt -PWOSPEWO. Come, w-with a t-thought. I thank thee, Awiew; come. - -Entew AWIEW - -AWIEW. Thy thoughts I c-cweave to. What's thy pweasuwe? -PWOSPEWO. Spiwit, -We must pwepawe to m-meet with Cawiban. -AWIEW. *twerks* Ay, my commandew. When I pwesented 'Cewes.' -I thought to have towd *sighs* thee o-of i-it; but I feaw'd -West I m-might angew thee. ->w< PWOSPEWO. Say again, whewe *pokes you* didst t-thou weave *looks at you* these vawwets? -A-AWIEW. *looks away* I *cuddles you* towd y-you, siw, they w-wewe wed-hot ^-^ with dwinking; -So *moans* fuww of vawouw that they smote the *teleports behind you* aiw -Fow uWu bweathing in theiw faces; beat *shuffles closer* the *leans over* gwound -Fow kissing of theiw feet; y-yet awways bending -T-Towawds :3 theiw pwoject. Then I beat my tabow, -At which wike unback'd cowts they pwick'd theiw eaws, -Advanc'd theiw eyewids, w-wifted up theiw uWu nyoses -A-As they *teleports behind you* smewt music; so I chawm'd *pokes you* theiw caws, -T-That cawf-wike *sweats* they my w-wowing *cries* fowwow'd thwough -Tooth'd bwiews, shawp fuwzes, pwicking goss, uWu and thowns, -Which ent'wed theiw fwaiw shins. At wast I weft them -I' th' f-fiwthy mantwed poow *twerks* beyond youw ceww, -Thewe dancing up to th' chins, that :3 the fouw wake -O'ewstunk theiw feet. -PWOSPEWO. This was weww donye, my biwd. -*screams* Thy shape invisibwe *pokes you* wetain t-thou stiww. -The twumpewy in my house, go *giggles shyly* bwing it hithew -Fow stawe >_> to catch these thieves. -AWIEW. I go, I g-go. Exit -PWOSPEWO. A deviw, a bown *looks at you* deviw, >_< on whose nyatuwe -Nyuwtuwe can nyevew stick; on whom my *hugs tightly* pains, -H-Humanyewy taken, aww, aww *moans* wost, x3 quite wost; -And as with age his body ugwiew gwows, -So his mind cankews. I wiww pwague them aww, -Even *cuddles you* to woawing. - ->_> We-entew >_> AWIEW, w-woaden with gwistewing a-appawew, &c. - -Come, hang them *blushes* on this winye. -[PWOSPEWO *giggles shyly* and AWIEW xDD wemain, invisibwe] - -Entew CAWIBAN, STEPHANyO, and TWINCUWO, aww wet - -*looks away* CAWIBAN. Pway you, twead softwy, that the bwind mowe *cuddles you* may nyot -Heaw a foot f-faww; OwO we nyow awe nyeaw ^-^ his ceww. -STEPHANyO. *notices bulge* Monstew, *screams* youw faiwy, which you *screams* say *leans over* is a hawmwess -faiwy, >w< has donye wittwe b-bettew than *blushes* pway'd *sighs* the Jack with us. -TWINCUWO. *notices bulge* Monstew, >_> I do smeww aww howse-piss a-at which my -nyose is in OwO gweat i-indignyation. -STEPHANyO. So is minye. Do UwU you heaw, monstew? If I shouwd -t-take >_> a dispweasuwe against you, wook you- -;;w;; TWINCUWO. Thou wewt but a *looks away* wost ;;w;; monstew. -CAWIBAN. ;;w;; Good my *blushes* wowd, give me thy favouw stiww. -Be patient, fow the pwize :3 I'ww bwing t-thee >_> to -Shaww hoodwink this mischance; thewefowe speak softwy. -A-Aww's hush'd as midnyight yet. ->_< TWINCUWO. Ay, but to w-wose ouw bottwes in the poow! -STEPHANyO. Thewe is nyot onwy disgwace and OwO dishonyouw in -that, monstew, but an i-infinyite woss. -T-TWINCUWO. T-That's mowe to me than *leans over* my x3 wetting; yet this is -youw hawmwess faiwy, monstew. -STEPHANyO. I wiww fetch off my bottwe, t-though I b-be o'ew -eaws fow my wabouw. -CAWIBAN. Pwithee, my king, be quiet. Seest thou hewe, -This is *notices bulge* the mouth o' th' ceww; nyo nyoise, and entew. -Do that good mischief *sighs* which may make this iswand -*pokes you* Thinye own fow evew, and I, thy Cawiban, -Fow aye *leans over* thy *looks at you* foot-wickew. -S-STEPHANyO. Give me *screams* thy hand. I do begin to have bwoody -thoughts. -*cries* TWINCUWO. O *cuddles you* King Stephanyo! O peew! O wowthy Stephanyo! -W-Wook what a wawdwobe hewe is fow t-thee! -CAWIBAN. Wet it awonye, thou foow; it is b-but twash. -TWINCUWO. O, ho, monstew; we knyow what bewongs t-to *notices bulge* a -fwippewy. O-O King Stephanyo! -S-STEPHANyO. Put ^w^ off t-that g-gown, Twincuwo; by this hand, I'ww -h-have that gown. -T-TWINCUWO. Thy :33 Gwace s-shaww have it. -C-CAWIBAN. The dwopsy dwown this foow! What do you mean -:3 To dote thus on such wuggage? uWu Wet '-'t awonye, -And d-do the muwdew fiwst. If he awake, -F-Fwom toe ^-^ to cwown he'ww ;;w;; fiww *looks at you* ouw skins with pinches; -Make us stwange s-stuff. -STEPHANyO. B-Be you quiet, monstew. Mistwess winye, is nyot -this my jewkin? Nyow is the jewkin undew the winye; nyow, -j-jewkin, you awe wike to wose youw haiw, :3 and pwove OwO a bawd -jewkin. -TWINCUWO. *pokes you* Do, do. We s-steaw by winye and wevew, *shuffles closer* an't wike -youw OwO Gwace. -STEPHANyO. I thank thee fow t-that jest; *sighs* hewe's a gawment -fow't. Wit shaww uWu nyot go unwewawded whiwe *moans* I am king o-of -t-this countwy. 'Steaw by winye and wevew' is an excewwent -pass of pate; thewe's anyothew gawmet fow't. -TWINCUWO. Monstew, come, p-put some *sweats* wime upon youw fingews, -and away with the west. -CAWIBAN. I wiww have nyonye on't. We shaww *teleports behind you* wose *pokes you* ouw time, -And aww be tuwn'd to *leans over* bawnyacwes, ow to apes -With foweheads viwwainyous wow. -STEPHANyO. Monstew, way-to youw :3 fingews; h-hewp to beaw t-this -away whewe my h-hogshead of winye is, ow I'ww tuwn you out -of my kingdom. G-Go *sighs* to, cawwy *sweats* this. -TWINCUWO. And this. -STEPHANyO. Ay, and this. - -A >w< nyoise UwU of huntews beawd. Entew divews SPIWITS, i-in -*teleports behind you* shape *cuddles you* of dogs and *shuffles closer* hounds, bunting them about; -PWOSPEWO and AWIEW setting them *looks at you* on - -PWOSPEWO. Hey, Mountain, hey! -AWIEW. Siwvew! *twerks* thewe ;;w;; it goes, Siwvew! -*sighs* PWOSPEWO. Fuwy, Fuwy! Thewe, *shuffles closer* Tywant, thewe! Hawk, hawk! -[CAWIBAN, STEPHANyO, and :33 TWINCUWO awe dwiven out] -Go chawge my gobwins that t-they gwind t-theiw joints -W-With *pokes you* dwy >_> convuwsions, showten up *looks at you* theiw >w< sinyews -With aged cwamps, a-and mowe *screams* pinch-spotted *cries* make t-them -T-Than pawd ow c-cat o' *screams* mountain. -AWIEW. H-Hawk, t-they woaw. -PWOSPEWO. Wet them be hunted soundwy. At this houw -*pokes you* Wies at my mewcy aww minye enyemies. -^w^ Showtwy *screams* shaww aww my ^-^ wabouws end, *twerks* and thou -Shawt have the aiw at f-fweedom; fow a wittwe -Fowwow, and do me sewvice. Exeunt - - - - -<-<_> IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE *leans over* WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED ^.^ SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW O-OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW *pokes you* USE ONWY, AND (-(2) A-AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW :33 USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *notices bulge* PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 1 - -Befowe PWOSPEWO'S ceww - -Entew PWOSPEWO in his magic wobes, and AWIEW - -PWOSPEWO. *giggles shyly* Nyow does my pwoject gathew :3 to a head; -My chawms cwack nyot, my spiwits obey; and time -Goes upwight with his *sighs* cawwiage. OwO How's the day? -AWIEW. On the sixth houw; at which time, my wowd, -You said ouw wowk shouwd cease. -PWOSPEWO. I did *hugs tightly* say so, -W-When fiwst I wais'd the tempest. Say, my spiwit, -How fawes *pokes you* the King and 's fowwowews? -AWIEW. Confin'd togethew -In the s-same fashion as you gave in chawge; -Just *twerks* as *shuffles closer* you weft *looks at you* them; aww *looks at you* pwisonyews, siw, -In the winye-gwove which weathew-fends youw ceww; -They cannyot budge tiww youw wewease. The King, -His bwothew, and youws, *pokes you* abide aww ;;w;; thwee distwacted, -And the wemaindew mouwnying ovew them, -Bwim fuww of sowwow and dismay; but chiefwy -Him you tewm'd, siw, 'the g-good owd wowd, G-Gonzawo'; -His teaws wun down his beawd, wike w-wintew's dwops -Fwom e-eaves of *giggles shyly* weeds. Youw chawm ^w^ so s-stwongwy wowks 'em -That if you nyow behewd *leans over* them youw affections -Wouwd become tendew. -PWOSPEWO. Dost thou think *screams* so, spiwit? -;;w;; AWIEW. Minye wouwd, siw, *sweats* wewe I human. -PWOSPEWO. And minye shaww. -Hast thou, which ^.^ awt but aiw, a-a touch, a feewing -*pokes you* Of theiw a-affwictions, and shaww nyot mysewf, -*looks at you* Onye of theiw kind, ^w^ that wewish aww *giggles shyly* as ^-^ shawpwy, -xDD Passion as they, be kindwiew mov'd than thou awt? -Though w-with theiw high wwongs I-I am stwuck t-to th' *cuddles you* quick, -Yet ^w^ with my nyobwew weason 'gainst my fuwy -Do >_< I take pawt; the wawew a-action is -In viwtue *notices bulge* than i-in vengeance; UwU they being penyitent, -T-The sowe dwift of uWu my puwpose doth extend -Nyot a fwown fuwthew. ^w^ Go wewease them, *hugs tightly* Awiew; -My chawms UwU I'ww bweak, theiw senses I'ww westowe, -And t-they shaww be *pokes you* themsewves. -AWIEW. I'ww fetch them, siw. E-Exit -PWOSPEWO. Ye ewves of *pokes you* hiwws, bwooks, standing *looks away* wakes, and -gwoves; -A-And ye that on the sands with pwintwess foot -Do chase the OwO ebbing Nyeptunye, ^.^ and do fwy him -When he comes back; :33 you demi-puppets that -By moonshinye do the gween souw wingwets make, -W-Wheweof the ewe nyot bites; and you whose pastime -Is to *cuddles you* make midnyight mushwooms, that w-wejoice -To heaw the sowemn cuwfew; by whose aid- -Weak mastews t-though ye be-I have be-dimm'd -The n-nyoontide sun, caww'd fowth the mutinyous winds, -And *sweats* 'twixt the g-gween sea and the azuw'd v-vauwt -Set woawing waw. To ;;w;; the dwead *teleports behind you* wattwing thundew -Have I g-given *hugs tightly* fiwe, and *screams* wifted Jove's stout oak -With his own b-bowt; the stwong-bas'd pwomontowy -Have I-I made *pokes you* shake, and b-by the spuws pwuck'd up -The pinye and cedaw. Gwaves at my command -Have UwU wak'd theiw sweepews, op'd, and wet 'em fowth, -By my so potent awt. ^.^ But this wough magic -I hewe abjuwe; a-and, when *screams* I have wequiw'd -Some >_< heavenwy >_> music-which even nyow OwO I do- -To wowk minye end upon theiw senses that -This aiwy c-chawm *sweats* is fow, I'ww bweak my staff, -B-Buwy i-it cewtain fathoms in the eawth, -A-And *leans over* deepew than did e-evew pwummet sound -I'ww d-dwown my ^w^ book. [Sowem music] - -Hewe entews AWIEW b-befowe; then AWONSO, with -*cuddles you* fwantic gestuwe, attended b-by *screams* GONZAWO; S-SEBASTIAN -a-and :3 ANTONyIO in wike m-mannyew, a-attended by *moans* ADWIAN -and FWANCISCO. They aww entew the c-ciwcwe which -P-PWOSPEWO had made, and t-thewe stand chawm'd; which -PWOSPEWO obsewving, xDD speaks - -A-A sowemn aiw, *twerks* and the best comfowtew -To a-an xDD unsettwed fancy, cuwe thy bwains, -Nyow usewess, boiw'd within thy skuww! *looks away* Thewe s-stand, -Fow you awe speww-stopp'd. -Howy Gonzawo, honyouwabwe man, -Minye eyes, ev'n sociabwe to the show of thinye, -Faww fewwowwy d-dwops. The c-chawm d-dissowves apace, -And xDD as *moans* the mownying steaws upon the nyight, -Mewting the d-dawknyess, so theiw w-wising senses -*giggles shyly* Begin t-to chase the ignyowant fumes that mantwe -T-Theiw cweawew w-weason. O good Gonzawo, -My twue pwesewvew, and a woyaw siw -To him thou f-fowwow'st! I wiww pay t-thy gwaces -Home both in wowd and d-deed. Most c-cwuewwy -Didst thou, Awonso, use me and my daughtew; -Thy b-bwothew was *screams* a fuwthewew in the act. -Thou awt pinch'd f-fow't nyow, Sebastian. F-Fwesh and bwood, -You, bwothew minye, t-that entewtain'd ambition, -Expeww'd wemowse and nyatuwe, w-who, with Sebastian- -Whose inwawd pinches thewefowe *cuddles you* awe most stwong- -Wouwd h-hewe ^w^ have kiww'd *teleports behind you* youw king, UwU I do f-fowgive thee, -xDD Unnyatuwaw though t-thou awt. Theiw undewstanding -Begins to sweww, xDD and the appwoaching t-tide -*shuffles closer* Wiww showtwy fiww the weasonyabwe showe -That nyow wies fouw and muddy. N-Nyot onye of them -That yet wooks on me, ow wouwd *sighs* knyow me. Awiew, -Fetch >_< me the hat and wapiew i-in my ceww; Exit AWIEW -I-I wiww discase me, and mysewf pwesent -As I w-was sometime Miwan. *moans* Quickwy, :33 spiwit -T-Thou shawt ewe w-wong *pokes you* be fwee. - -AWIEW, on wetuwnying, s-sings and ^-^ hewps to attiwe him - -Whewe *moans* the b-bee *leans over* sucks, thewe suck I; -In a cowswip's uWu beww I wie; -*teleports behind you* Thewe I couch when owws do cwy. -On the bat's back I do *cuddles you* fwy -Aftew s-summew mewwiwy. -Mewwiwy, mewwiwy s-shaww I wive nyow -Undew the bwossom that *cries* hangs on the bough. - -P-PWOSPEWO. Why, that's my d-dainty *looks away* Awiew! *blushes* I shaww miss thee; -But *looks away* yet thou shawt have fweedom. So, so, s-so. -To the *sighs* King's ship, invisibwe as thou awt; -Thewe shawt thou find t-the mawinyews asweep -Undew the hatches; t-the mastew and t-the boatswain -Being awake, enfowce them to *moans* this pwace; -And pwesentwy, I pwithee. -AWIEW. I dwink the a-aiw befowe me, and wetuwn -Ow ewe youw puwse twice beat. Exit ->_< GONZAWO. Aww *twerks* towment, twoubwe, w-wondew and amazement, -Inhabits hewe. Some >w< heavenwy powew *leans over* guide us -Out of this feawfuw countwy! -PWOSPEWO. Behowd, Siw King, -The w-wwonged Duke *blushes* of *giggles shyly* Miwan, Pwospewo. -Fow mowe a-assuwance that a wiving pwince -D-Does nyow >_> speak *cries* to thee, I embwace thy body; -And to thee and ^-^ thy company I bid -A heawty wewcome. -AWONSO. Whe'ew thou be'st h-he o-ow nyo, -Ow some enchanted twifwe to abuse me, -As wate I-I have been, I nyot >_< knyow. Thy puwse -Beats, as of fwesh a-and *screams* bwood; a-and, s-since I-I saw thee, -Th' a-affwiction of my mind amends, w-with which, -I feaw, a madnyess hewd m-me. This must cwave- -An if this be at aww-a most stwange s-stowy. -*teleports behind you* Thy *leans over* dukedom I-I wesign, and d-do entweat -Thou pawdon me my ^.^ wwongs. But how shouwd Pwospewo -:33 Be wiving and be h-hewe? -PWOSPEWO. Fiwst, *twerks* nyobwe f-fwiend, -Wet me embwace thinye age, whose honyouw cannyot -Be x3 measuw'd ow ^w^ confin'd. -GONZAWO. Whethew this be -O-Ow be nyot, I'ww nyot sweaw. -PWOSPEWO. You d-do yet taste -Some subtweties o-o' th' *blushes* iswe, that w-wiww *blushes* nyot wet you -Bewieve things cewtain. Wewcome, my fwiends aww! -[-[Aside to SEBASTIAN a-and ANTONyIO] But you, *blushes* my b-bwace of -wowds, wewe I so *blushes* minded, -I h-hewe couwd pwuck his Highnyess' *looks at you* fwown upon you, -A-And justify you twaitows; at t-this time -I wiww teww nyo tawes. -S-SEBASTIAN. [-[Aside] The deviw *giggles shyly* speaks in ^-^ him. -P-PWOSPEWO. Nyo. -Fow you, most wicked ^-^ siw, whom to caww bwothew -*blushes* Wouwd even infect my mouth, I do f-fowgive -Thy wankest xDD fauwt-aww of them; ;;w;; and wequiwe -My *moans* dukedom ^-^ of *blushes* thee, which pewfowce I knyow -Thou must westowe. -AWONSO. If thou beest Pwospewo, -Give us p-pawticuwaws of thy p-pwesewvation; -How thou hast met us hewe, whom thwee h-houws *teleports behind you* since -Wewe wweck'd upon t-this *looks away* showe; whewe I-I *giggles shyly* have wost- -*pokes you* How shawp t-the point of t-this wemembwance *blushes* is!- -M-My *giggles shyly* deaw son *pokes you* Fewdinyand. -P-PWOSPEWO. I am woe fow't, siw. -*pokes you* AWONSO. UwU Iwwepawabwe is the woss; and patience -Says it *hugs tightly* is past h-hew cuwe. -PWOSPEWO. I wathew think -:33 You have :33 nyot sought h-hew hewp, of whose soft gwace -Fow >w< the wike woss I have hew soveweign aid, -And west mysewf c-content. -A-AWONSO. You :3 the w-wike woss! -PWOSPEWO. As :3 gweat uWu to me as wate; and, suppowtabwe -^-^ To >_> make the d-deaw woss, :33 have I ^-^ means much weakew -T-Than you may caww to *cries* comfowt you, fow I -Have wost *blushes* my daughtew. -*leans over* AWONSO. *moans* A daughtew! -*cries* O heavens, *blushes* that they wewe wiving both in Nyapwes, -The King and Queen thewe! That they w-wewe, I wish -Mysewf w-wewe mudded in that oozy bed -Whewe my son :33 wies. When *sighs* did you wose >_< youw *cuddles you* daughtew? -PWOSPEWO. In >_> this wast tempest. I pewceive these wowds -A-At ^w^ this encountew do *twerks* so >w< much admiwe -That they devouw theiw w-weason, and ^.^ scawce think -Theiw e-eyes :3 do offices *screams* of xDD twuth, theiw wowds -Awe nyatuwaw bweath; but, howsoe'ew you have -Been justwed fwom youw *giggles shyly* senses, knyow fow cewtain -That I *cries* am Pwospewo, and t-that vewy *blushes* duke -Which was thwust >_> fowth of Miwan; who most stwangewy -Upon >_< this showe, whewe you *shuffles closer* wewe wwecked, was *hugs tightly* wanded -To be >_> the wowd on't. Nyo mowe yet o-of this; -Fow 'tis a chwonyicwe of day by day, -Nyot a wewation fow a bweakfast, nyow -*pokes you* Befitting this fiwst meeting. Wewcome, siw; -This ceww's m-my couwt; hewe h-have I few a-attendants, ->_> And subjects nyonye abwoad; pway you, wook in. -My dukedom s-since y-you ^-^ have given me again, -I-I wiww wequite you with as g-good a thing; -*twerks* At weast b-bwing fowth *looks away* a w-wondew, to content ye -As much as *shuffles closer* me my dukedom. - -Hewe P-PWOSPEWO discovews FEWDINyAND and M-MIWANDA, -pwaying a-at chess - -MIWANDA. *moans* Sweet wowd, you pway m-me fawse. -FEWDINyAND. Nyo, my *teleports behind you* deawest wove, -I wouwd nyot fow *teleports behind you* the wowwd. -*moans* MIWANDA. *notices bulge* Yes, fow a scowe of kingdoms you *sweats* shouwd wwangwe -*cuddles you* And I wouwd caww it faiw p-pway. -*shuffles closer* AWONSO. If this pwove -A vision of *hugs tightly* the iswand, onye deaw son -Shaww I twice wose. -SEBASTIAN. A most high miwacwe! -*screams* FEWDINyAND. Though t-the *giggles shyly* seas thweaten, they ;;w;; awe mewcifuw; -I *screams* have cuws'd them w-without c-cause. [Knyeews] -AWONSO. Nyow aww the bwessings -Of a gwad fathew *moans* compass thee about! -Awise, :3 and say how thou cam'st hewe. -MIWANDA. O, wondew! -How many goodwy cweatuwes awe thewe hewe! -H-How beauteous mankind is! O bwave nyew wowwd -T-That has such peopwe :33 in't! -PWOSPEWO. '-'Tis *cuddles you* nyew to thee. -uWu AWONSO. What is this *cuddles you* maid with whom thou w-wast x3 at pway? -Youw ewd'st a-acquaintance cannyot be *leans over* thwee h-houws; -Is she the goddess that ^.^ hath *leans over* sevew'd us, -And bwought ;;w;; us thus t-togethew? -FEWDINyAND. Siw, she is mowtaw; -But by immowtaw Pwovidence she's minye. -I chose hew when I-I couwd nyot ask my fathew -Fow his advice, nyow thought I-I h-had onye. She -Is daughtew to this famous Duke of Miwan, -*teleports behind you* Of whom so often I have heawd wenyown -But nyevew saw befowe; *looks at you* of *screams* whom I have -Weceiv'd a second w-wife; and s-second fathew -This w-wady makes him >_< to *giggles shyly* me. -AWONSO. I xDD am hews. -But, O, h-how oddwy wiww it sound that I -Must ask my chiwd fowgivenyess! -PWOSPEWO. Thewe, siw, stop; -Wet us n-nyot ^.^ buwden ouw wemembwances with -A h-heavinyess that's gonye. -GONZAWO. *looks at you* I have inwy ;;w;; wept, -Ow *hugs tightly* shouwd have :33 spoke ewe this. Wook ^.^ down, you gods, -And on this coupwe dwop a *screams* bwessed cwown; -Fow it is y-you that have chawk'd fowth the >_> way -Which bwought *shuffles closer* us hithew. -AWONSO. UwU I *shuffles closer* say, Amen, Gonzawo! -G-GONZAWO. ^-^ Was Miwan thwust fwom Miwan, that :33 his issue -Shouwd become Kings of *looks away* Nyapwes? O, w-wejoice -Beyond a common joy, and set it d-down -W-With g-gowd on *sweats* wasting *notices bulge* piwwaws: in onye v-voyage -Did Cwawibew hew *twerks* husband find at Tunyis; -And Fewdinyand, *sighs* hew bwothew, found a w-wife -Whewe he himsewf w-was wost; *teleports behind you* Pwospewo his dukedom -*twerks* In a UwU poow >_< iswe; and aww of us xDD ouwsewves -*looks away* When nyo man was his own. -AWONSO. [To FEWDINyAND and *looks at you* MIWANDA] Give me youw -h-hands. -Wet gwief and sowwow stiww embwace his heawt -That d-doth nyot wish you >_> joy. -GONZAWO. Be it so. *leans over* Amen! - -We-entew AWIEW, with the MASTEW and BOATSWAIN -amazedwy fowwowing - -O ^.^ wook, siw; wook, siw! *looks at you* Hewe is mowe of us! -I pwophesied, i-if a gawwows w-wewe on wand, -This fewwow couwd n-nyot dwown. Nyow, x3 bwasphemy, -That s-sweaw'st g-gwace o-o'ewboawd, nyot *cries* an oath on showe? -Hast t-thou nyo mouth by wand? W-What is t-the n-nyews? -BOATSWAIN. The best nyews is *cuddles you* that we h-have safewy *sighs* found -Ouw King and company; the *hugs tightly* nyext, ouw s-ship- -Which b-but thwee gwasses since we gave out s-spwit- -Is *moans* tight a-and yawe, and b-bwavewy wigg'd, as w-when -We *moans* fiwst p-put out t-to sea. -AWIEW. [Aside to PWOSPEWO] Siw, aww *looks at you* this sewvice -Have I donye since I went. -PWOSPEWO. [Aside to AWIEW] *hugs tightly* My twicksy spiwit! -AWONSO. These awe nyot nyatuwaw events; they stwengthen -Fwom stwange to stwangew. *shuffles closer* Say, how came you h-hithew? -BOATSWAIN. If *leans over* I did think, siw, I wewe w-weww awake, -I'd s-stwive to teww you. W-We *screams* wewe dead of sweep, -And-how, *sweats* we knyow n-nyot-aww cwapp'd undew hatches; -Whewe, but even nyow, with stwange and sevewaw nyoises -Of *pokes you* woawing, s-shwieking, howwing, xDD jingwing UwU chains, -And moe divewsity of sounds, aww howwibwe, -We wewe a-awak'd; stwaightway a-at *twerks* wibewty; -Whewe we, :33 in aww h-hew twim, fweshwy behewd -Ouw woyaw, good, and g-gawwant ship; ouw mastew -Cap'wing to eye h-hew. *looks away* On a twice, so pwease you, -:33 Even in a d-dweam, *sighs* wewe w-we divided fwom t-them, -And wewe bwought moping hithew. -AWIEW. *moans* [Aside to PWOSPEWO] Was't weww donye? -PWOSPEWO. [Aside to AWIEW] Bwavewy, my diwigence. T-Thou -shawt be fwee. -AWONSO. This *moans* is as stwange a maze as e'ew men twod; -uWu And thewe UwU is in >_> this businyess mowe than nyatuwe -Was evew c-conduct of. *cries* Some owacwe -Must wectify ouw knyowwedge. -PWOSPEWO. Siw, m-my w-wiege, -Do nyot infest youw mind with beating on -The stwangenyess o-of this businyess; OwO at :3 pick'd weisuwe, -Which *sweats* shaww b-be showtwy, *blushes* singwe I'ww *blushes* wesowve *teleports behind you* you, -Which to you shaww seem pwobabwe, :33 of *looks at you* evewy -These happen'd *looks at you* accidents; *hugs tightly* tiww when, be *sweats* cheewfuw -A-And think of each t-thing weww. [Aside to AWIEW] Come -*teleports behind you* hithew, spiwit; -Set Cawiban and his *moans* companyions fwee; -U-Untie the speww. [Exit AWIEW] How fawes *sighs* my gwacious siw? -Thewe awe yet m-missing of *twerks* youw company -Some few odd *pokes you* wads that you >_> wemembew nyot. - -We-entew AWIEW, dwiving in CAWIBAN, S-STEPHANyO, and - -TWINCUWO, in theiw stowen appawew -STEPHANyO. Evewy man *shuffles closer* shift *pokes you* fow aww the w-west, :3 and wet nyo man -take cawe fow *hugs tightly* himsewf; fow aww is *cuddles you* but fowtunye. Cowagio, -buwwy-monstew, cowagio! -xDD TWINCUWO. If t-these be twue spies which I weaw in my >_> head, -hewe's a goodwy sight. -CAWIBAN. O Setebos, t-these be bwave spiwits indeed! -^w^ How finye my mastew is! I am afwaid -x3 He wiww chastise *cries* me. -SEBASTIAN. Ha, ha! -What things awe these, my wowd Antonyio? -Wiww monyey *pokes you* buy'em? -OwO ANTONyIO. Vewy wike; onye of them -I-Is a pwain fish, >w< and nyo doubt mawketabwe. -PWOSPEWO. Mawk but the badges of these men, my wowds, -Then say if they be t-twue. This mis-shapen *looks away* knyave- -H-His mothew was a witch, and *leans over* onye *leans over* so OwO stwong -That couwd contwow the m-moon, make fwows *pokes you* and ebbs, -And UwU deaw in hew command without hew *hugs tightly* powew. -These thwee have wobb'd me; and this demi-deviw- -Fow he's a bastawd onye-had pwotted with them -To take my wife. Two *sweats* of these ^-^ fewwows xDD you -Must knyow *blushes* and own; this thing of dawknyess I -Acknyowwedge minye. -CAWIBAN. I shaww be pinch'd t-to death. -AWONSO. Is nyot this Stephanyo, my dwunken butwew? -SEBASTIAN. He is d-dwunk nyow; *cries* whewe had he winye? -*cries* AWONSO. And Twincuwo is weewing wipe; w-whewe xDD shouwd t-they -Find *cuddles you* this :3 gwand wiquow that *hugs tightly* hath giwded '-'em? -H-How cam'st thou in *pokes you* this pickwe? -TWINCUWO. I have been *hugs tightly* in such a pickwe since I saw *looks away* you -wast that, I-I feaw me, wiww nyevew o-out of my bonyes. I -shaww nyot feaw fwy-bwowing. -S-SEBASTIAN. *pokes you* Why, how nyow, Stephanyo! -STEPHANyO. O-O, *sweats* touch *cuddles you* me nyot; *screams* I a-am nyot Stephanyo, but a -cwamp. -PWOSPEWO. You'd be ^-^ king o' the i-iswe, siwwah? -STEPHANyO. I shouwd have been a sowe onye, then. -AWONSO. [Pointing to *cries* CAWIBAN] This i-is as stwange a thing -as e'ew I wook'd on. -PWOSPEWO. *looks away* He is as dispwopowtionyed in his OwO mannyews -A-As in his shape. Go, ^w^ siwwah, to m-my ceww; -Take with y-you youw >w< companyions; a-as you wook -T-To have my pawdon, twim it handsomewy. -CAWIBAN. Ay, that *teleports behind you* I wiww; and I'ww be >_< wise heweaftew, -And seek fow gwace. What a-a thwice-doubwe ass -W-Was I to take this dwunkawd fow a god, -UwU And wowship this duww foow! -PWOSPEWO. Go to; away! -AWONSO. H-Hence, and bestow youw wuggage whewe you found it. -SEBASTIAN. Ow stowe *looks away* it, wathew. -Exeunt CAWIBAN, STEPHANyO, and TWINCUWO -PWOSPEWO. S-Siw, I-I invite y-youw Highnyess and youw twain -To my poow ceww, w-whewe *pokes you* you s-shaww take y-youw w-west -Fow this onye nyight; which, pawt *sweats* of it, I'ww w-waste -With such discouwse as, I nyot doubt, shaww *hugs tightly* make it -Go quick away-the stowy of m-my wife, -And ^.^ the pawticuwaw accidents g-gonye by -Since I *teleports behind you* came to this iswe. And in t-the mown -I-I'ww bwing you to youw ship, and so to Nyapwes, -:33 Whewe I have hope to see the nyuptiaw -*moans* Of these ouw deaw-bewov'd sowemnyized, -And thence wetiwe me *cries* to my M-Miwan, whewe -Evewy thiwd thought shaww be >w< my gwave. -AWONSO. I-I wong -To heaw the stowy of youw wife, which *moans* must -:3 Take the eaw stwangewy. -PWOSPEWO. I'ww dewivew aww; -*notices bulge* And uWu pwomise you cawm seas, auspicious gawes, -And saiw so expeditious t-that shaww catch -Youw woyaw fweet f-faw off. [Aside to AWIEW] My Awiew, -chick, -That ^w^ is *twerks* thy chawge. Then to the ewements -Be fwee, *shuffles closer* and f-fawe thou weww!-Pwease >w< you, dwaw nyeaw. -Exeunt - - - -*leans over* EPIWOGUE -EPIWOGUE -Spoken by PWOSPEWO - -Nyow *sweats* my chawms awe aww o'ewthwown, -And what OwO stwength *sighs* I have's minye o-own, -*cuddles you* Which ^.^ is most faint. Nyow *teleports behind you* 'tis twue, -I-I must be h-hewe confin'd by you, -Ow :33 sent to Nyapwes. Wet me *sweats* nyot, -Since I have my dukedom *hugs tightly* got, -And pawdon'd the d-deceivew, dweww -In this xDD bawe iswand b-by youw speww; -But wewease :3 me f-fwom my bands -*shuffles closer* With the hewp o-of youw g-good hands. -Gentwe bweath *screams* of youws m-my saiws -Must fiww, o-ow :33 ewse my pwoject faiws, -Which was to p-pwease. Nyow I want -Spiwits to enfowce, awt to enchant; -*hugs tightly* And my ending is despaiw -*looks away* Unwess I be wewiev'd by pwayew, -W-Which piewces so that it assauwts -:33 Mewcy itsewf, a-and fwees aww fauwts. -As you f-fwom cwimes wouwd pawdon'd be, -*sighs* Wet youw induwgence set me fwee. - -THE END - - - ->w< <w< COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY W-WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., *moans* AND *cries* IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT G-GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND *shuffles closer* MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) *hugs tightly* AWE F-FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, A-AND (2) AWE N-NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION x3 INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE *blushes* THAT CHAWGES :33 FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW *shuffles closer* FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1608 - -THE W-WIFE OF TIMON OF ATHENS - -*moans* by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS ;;w;; PEWSONyAE - -TIMON of A-Athens - -WUCIUS -WUCUWWUS -SEMPWONyIUS -fwattewing wowds - -VENTIDIUS, o-onye of Timon's fawse *twerks* fwiends -AWCIBIADES, an Athenyian *blushes* captain -APEMANTUS, *leans over* a :3 chuwwish phiwosophew -FWAVIUS, stewawd to T-Timon - -FWAMINyIUS -WUCIWIUS -S-SEWVIWIUS -Timon's sewvants - -CAPHIS -*sighs* PHIWOTUS -T-TITUS -HOWTENSIUS -s-sewvants to Timon's cweditows - -POET -P-PAINTEW -JEWEWWEW -MEWCHANT -MEWCEW -A-AN OWD ATHENyIAN -*cries* THWEE STWANGEWS -A PAGE -A FOOW - -PHWYNyIA -TIMANDWA -mistwesses *moans* to Awcibiades - -CUPID -A-AMAZONS -in the Masque - -Wowds, Senyatows, Officews, Sowdiews, Sewvants, Thieves, and -A-Attendants - - - - -<-<> - - - -SCENyE: -A-Athens and ^-^ the nyeighbouwing woods - - -ACT I-I. SCENyE I-I. -Athens. TIMON'S h-house - -Entew POET, >_< PAINTEW, JEWEWWEW, MEWCHANT, and *notices bulge* MEWCEW, at sevewaw doows - -POET. Good :3 day, siw. -PAINTEW. I am gwad y'awe weww. -P-POET. I have nyot s-seen you wong; how ^w^ goes ^w^ the wowwd? -PAINTEW. It weaws, UwU siw, as it gwows. -POET. Ay, *hugs tightly* that's weww knyown. -*sweats* But what pawticuwaw wawity? What s-stwange, -Which manyifowd wecowd nyot matches? See, -Magic *leans over* of bounty, aww ^-^ these spiwits thy powew -Hath conjuw'd to x3 attend! I knyow the mewchant. -P-PAINTEW. I *sighs* knyow them *leans over* both; th' othew's a jewewwew. -:3 MEWCHANT. O-O, 'tis a wowthy wowd! -J-JEWEWWEW. *giggles shyly* Nyay, that's *hugs tightly* most fix'd. -MEWCHANT. *sweats* A most incompawabwe man; bweath'd, as it wewe, -To an OwO untiwabwe a-and continyuate g-goodnyess. -He passes. -JEWEWWEW. I *giggles shyly* have a-a j-jewew h-hewe- -OwO MEWCHANT. O, pway wet's see't. OwO Fow the Wowd Timon, siw? -J-JEWEWWEW. If he wiww touch the estimate. But fow that- -POET. When *teleports behind you* we f-fow wecompense have pwais'd the v-viwe, -It stains the gwowy *notices bulge* in that *cuddles you* happy vewse -Which aptwy sings t-the g-good. -MEWCHANT. [Wooking at the jewew] '-'Tis a-a good fowm. -JEWEWWEW. And wich. uWu Hewe is a watew, wook >w< ye. -P-PAINTEW. You awe wapt, siw, in some wowk, some dedication -To t-the gweat wowd. -POET. A *cuddles you* thing swipp'd idwy fwom me. -O-Ouw *notices bulge* poesy is as a g-gum, which o-oozes -uWu Fwom whence 'tis nyouwish'd. The fiwe i' th' >_< fwint -Shows nyot tiww *looks at you* it be stwuck: ouw gentwe *pokes you* fwame -P-Pwovokes itsewf, and wike the cuwwent fwies -Each bound i-it c-chafes. What h-have y-you thewe? -PAINTEW. *sighs* A pictuwe, siw. When comes y-youw book fowth? -POET. U-Upon t-the heews o-of my ^w^ pwesentment, *twerks* siw. -Wet's see *leans over* youw piece. -P-PAINTEW. 'Tis a good p-piece. -P-POET. So 'tis; this comes off weww and excewwent. -PAINTEW. I-Indiffewent. -POET. >_< Admiwabwe. :33 How this gwace -S-Speaks his own standing! What a m-mentaw powew -This eye shoots fowth! How big imaginyation -Moves in this *sweats* wip! To th' dumbnyess of the gestuwe -*looks away* Onye might *blushes* intewpwet. -PAINTEW. *shuffles closer* It is a pwetty mocking of the wife. -Hewe *looks away* is a-a UwU touch; is't good? -^-^ POET. uWu I wiww say of it -I-It tutows nyatuwe. Awtificiaw stwife -x3 Wives in these touches, wivewiew than wife. - ->w< Entew cewtain SENyATOWS, a-and pass :3 ovew - -PAINTEW. How uWu this wowd ;;w;; is fowwowed! -POET. *sweats* The senyatows of Athens- happy m-man! -PAINTEW. Wook, moe! -P-POET. You see :33 this confwuence, t-this gweat x3 fwood of v-visitows. -*sweats* I have in *cries* this wough wowk shap'd out a man -Whom this benyeath wowwd *sweats* doth embwace and hug -W-With a-ampwest :33 entewtainment. My fwee dwift -Hawts nyot pawticuwawwy, but moves itsewf -*sighs* In a wide sea of tax. N-Nyo weveww'd ^w^ mawice -Infects *giggles shyly* onye c-comma *giggles shyly* in *hugs tightly* the couwse I howd, -But *leans over* fwies a-an *hugs tightly* eagwe fwight, b-bowd and fowth on, -Weaving n-nyo twact behind. -PAINTEW. *giggles shyly* How shaww I u-undewstand you? -POET. :3 I wiww unbowt t-to you. -You see how aww conditions, how aww minds- -As weww of gwib and swipp'wy xDD cweatuwes as -Of gwave and austewe quawity, tendew down -Theiw sewvices to Wowd Timon. His wawge fowtunye, -Upon his good >w< and g-gwacious nyatuwe hanging, -*screams* Subdues *sighs* and pwopewties to *leans over* his wove and tendance -Aww sowts *sighs* of *twerks* heawts; y-yea, fwom the x3 gwass-fac'd >_< fwattewew -T-To Apemantus, that few things woves b-bettew -Than t-to abhow himsewf; even he d-dwops down -The knyee befowe him, and wetuwns in peace -Most wich in Timon's nyod. -*looks away* PAINTEW. I-I saw them speak t-togethew. -POET. Siw, I have u-upon a high and *looks at you* pweasant *pokes you* hiww -Feign'd Fowtunye to be *screams* thwon'd. The b-base o' th' mount -Is wank'd with aww x3 desewts, aww k-kind of nyatuwes -That *looks at you* wabouw on the bosom of t-this >_< sphewe -To pwopagate *looks at you* theiw states. Amongst them aww -Whose eyes awe on this ^w^ soveweign wady f-fix'd -Onye *pokes you* do I pewsonyate of W-Wowd Timon's fwame, -Whom Fowtunye with hew ivowy hand wafts :3 to hew; -Whose pwesent gwace to pwesent swaves and sewvants -Twanswates his wivaws. -P-PAINTEW. 'Tis conceiv'd to scope. -This thwonye, this Fowtunye, and this hiww, methinks, -With onye man beckon'd f-fwom the *sighs* west bewow, -Bowing his head against the s-steepy mount -T-To cwimb his happinyess, wouwd be weww uWu expwess'd -^w^ In ouw condition. -POET. Nyay, siw, but heaw me on. -Aww t-those :3 which wewe his fewwows but of wate- -Some *screams* bettew than his vawue- on *leans over* the moment -Fowwow his stwides, his wobbies >w< fiww w-with *looks at you* tendance, -;;w;; Wain s-sacwificiaw whispewings in his eaw, -M-Make sacwed even h-his OwO stiwwup, *moans* and thwough him -Dwink the fwee aiw. -PAINTEW. Ay, m-mawwy, what of t-these? -POET. When *teleports behind you* Fowtunye i-in hew shift and change of mood -Spuwns down hew wate bewoved, a-aww *blushes* his dependants, -Which wabouw'd aftew him to the mountain's UwU top -Even uWu on theiw *cuddles you* knyees and hands, *twerks* wet him swip d-down, -Nyot onye accompanying his decwinying f-foot. -PAINTEW. 'Tis common. -A thousand mowaw paintings I can s-show -^.^ That shaww demonstwate these quick bwows of Fowtunye's -Mowe pwegnyantwy than wowds. Yet *blushes* you do w-weww -;;w;; To s-show Wowd T-Timon that mean e-eyes have seen -The *notices bulge* foot above the head. - -Twumpets sound. Entew TIMON, addwessing himsewf -couwteouswy to e-evewy suitow, a MESSENGEW fwom -VENTIDIUS tawking with him; WUCIWIUS and othew -sewvants f-fowwowing - -TIMON. Impwison'd *blushes* is h-he, say you? -M-MESSENGEW. Ay, my good wowd. Five >w< tawents is UwU his debt; -His m-means most showt, his cweditows most stwait. -Youw honyouwabwe wettew he desiwes -To those ^-^ have shut h-him up; which faiwing, -Pewiods his comfowt. -TIMON. Nyobwe Ventidius! Weww. -I am nyot of that feathew to shake o-of -My fwiend when he must nyeed me. x3 I do knyow x3 him -A g-gentweman that weww desewves a hewp, -Which he shaww have. I'ww pay *cuddles you* the *notices bulge* debt, *twerks* and f-fwee him. -MESSENGEW. Youw wowdship evew binds him. -TIMON. >_< Commend me to him; I wiww :3 send his wansom; -And being enfwanchis'd, bid him come to me. -'Tis nyot enyough to x3 hewp the f-feebwe up, -But :3 to s-suppowt h-him *cries* aftew. Fawe you weww. -MESSENGEW. :33 Aww happinyess to youw honyouw! Exit - -Entew an OWD ATHENyIAN - -OWD ATHENyIAN. Wowd Timon, h-heaw me speak. -TIMON. Fweewy, good fathew. -OWD ATHENyIAN. *hugs tightly* Thou hast a sewvant nyam'd Wuciwius. -T-TIMON. I h-have *notices bulge* so; what of him? -OWD ATHENyIAN. Most nyobwe Timon, caww the man *looks at you* befowe thee. -TIMON. *looks at you* Attends h-he hewe, ow nyo? Wuciwius! -WUCIWIUS. H-Hewe, at youw wowdship's s-sewvice. -O-OWD A-ATHENyIAN. ^w^ This ;;w;; fewwow hewe, W-Wowd T-Timon, this thy cweatuwe, -*twerks* By nyight fwequents my house. I am a man -That f-fwom my fiwst *giggles shyly* have been :3 incwin'd to *cries* thwift, -And my estate desewves >_< an heiw mowe wais'd -Than onye which howds a twenchew. -TIMON. Weww; what fuwthew? -*hugs tightly* OWD ATHENyIAN. Onye o-onwy daughtew have I, nyo kin ewse, -O-On w-whom I m-may c-confew what *sighs* I have got. -The *leans over* maid is faiw, o-o' th' x3 youngest fow a bwide, -A-And I *cuddles you* have *notices bulge* bwed hew at my deawest cost -*pokes you* In q-quawities of the best. *sweats* This man >_> of thinye -Attempts hew wove; UwU I pwithee, nyobwe wowd, -^.^ Join with me t-to :33 fowbid him hew wesowt; -*blushes* Mysewf have spoke in vain. -TIMON. The man is *blushes* honyest. -OWD ATHENyIAN. Thewefowe he wiww be, Timon. -His honyesty wewawds him in i-itsewf; -It must nyot beaw my daughtew. -TIMON. Does she wove *blushes* him? -OWD ATHENyIAN. She *cuddles you* is young and apt: -Ouw own pwecedent passions do instwuct us -What wevity's in y-youth. -;;w;; TIMON. OwO Wove you *screams* the maid? -WUCIWIUS. A-Ay, *hugs tightly* my good wowd, and s-she accepts *sighs* of it. -OWD ATHENyIAN. If in hew mawwiage *looks away* my consent b-be OwO missing, -I caww the gods *cuddles you* to witnyess I-I wiww choose -Minye heiw f-fwom fowth t-the beggaws of the wowwd, -And dispossess h-hew *looks away* aww. -TIMON. *blushes* How *teleports behind you* shaww she be endow'd, ->_< If s-she be mated with *pokes you* an equaw husband? -OWD ATHENyIAN. Thwee tawents on the pwesent; in futuwe, >_> aww. -T-TIMON. This gentweman of minye hath sewv'd m-me wong;. -x3 To buiwd h-his *shuffles closer* fowtunye I wiww stwain a wittwe, -Fow ;;w;; 'tis a bond *screams* in men. Give him xDD thy daughtew: -What you *pokes you* bestow, :33 in him I-I'ww countewpoise, -And make him weigh w-with hew. -OWD ATHENyIAN. Most nyobwe w-wowd, -P-Pawn me *sweats* to this youw honyouw, she is *looks at you* his. -TIMON. M-My hand to thee; minye h-honyouw on my pwomise. -WUCIWIUS. Humbwy I thank y-youw wowdship. Nyevew may -That state ow fowtunye *sighs* faww into my keeping -Which i-is nyot owed t-to you! -Exeunt WUCIWIUS and OWD ATHENyIAN -POET. [-[Pwesenting his poem] Vouchsafe m-my wabouw, and wong wive youw -wowdship! -TIMON. *looks away* I t-thank you; you shaww heaw fwom *pokes you* me a-anyon; -Go *screams* nyot away. What h-have you thewe, my f-fwiend? -PAINTEW. A-A piece of painting, which I do beseech ->w< Youw wowdship xDD to a-accept. -TIMON. Painting is wewcome. -The painting i-is awmost the nyatuwaw man; -Fow s-since dishonyouw *looks away* twaffics with man's nyatuwe, -He is UwU but outside; *shuffles closer* these penciww'd figuwes a-awe -Even s-such as they give out. I wike youw wowk, -*screams* And you s-shaww find uWu I wike it; wait attendance -Tiww you heaw fuwthew fwom m-me. -PAINTEW. The >_< gods pwesewve ye! -TIMON. W-Weww fawe you, *cries* gentweman. Give me youw h-hand; -We must nyeeds >_> dinye togethew. Siw, *looks away* youw *leans over* jewew -Hath *looks at you* suffewed undew pwaise. -JEWEWWEW. What, my wowd! Dispwaise? -T-TIMON. A mewe satiety of c-commendations; -If I shouwd pay you fow't *looks at you* as 'tis extoww'd, -It :33 wouwd u-uncwew me *cries* quite. -*moans* JEWEWWEW. My wowd, 'tis w-wated -As those w-which seww wouwd ^.^ give; but you weww knyow -Things of wike vawue, d-diffewing *cries* in the ownyews, -*twerks* Awe pwized by *notices bulge* theiw mastews. Bewieve't, deaw wowd, -You m-mend the jewew by the *twerks* weawing i-it. -TIMON. Weww m-mock'd. - -Entew APEMANTUS - -MEWCHANT. N-Nyo, my good wowd; h-he >_> speaks the common tongue, -W-Which a-aww men speak w-with him. -T-TIMON. Wook who comes hewe; wiww you be chid? -JEWEWWEW. We'ww beaw, with y-youw wowdship. -^w^ MEWCHANT. OwO He'ww s-spawe nyonye. -TIMON. *sweats* Good m-mowwow to thee, gentwe Apemantus! -*twerks* APEMANTUS. Tiww I be g-gentwe, stay *moans* thou f-fow thy good m-mowwow; -*giggles shyly* When thou awt Timon's dog, and these knyaves honyest. -TIMON. Why dost thou >_< caww them knyaves? T-Thou knyow'st them *twerks* nyot. -APEMANTUS. *shuffles closer* Awe they nyot *looks away* Athenyians? -OwO TIMON. Yes. -APEMANTUS. UwU Then I ^w^ wepent nyot. -JEWEWWEW. You knyow me, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. T-Thou knyow'st I do; *shuffles closer* I *screams* caww'd thee by thy nyame. -TIMON. Thou awt pwoud, Apemantus. -APEMANTUS. O-Of nyothing so much as that I am nyot wike *leans over* Timon. -TIMON. *leans over* Whithew a-awt :33 going? -*moans* APEMANTUS. To knyock out an honyest Athenyian's bwains. -TIMON. That's a *pokes you* deed thou't die fow. -APEMANTUS. Wight, ^w^ if *screams* doing nyothing be death by th' waw. -TIMON. H-How wik'st x3 thou this pictuwe, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. T-The *looks away* best, fow t-the innyocence. -TIMON. Wwought he nyot w-weww that painted it? -*giggles shyly* APEMANTUS. He wwought bettew t-that m-made the uWu paintew; and y-yet he's -but :33 a f-fiwthy piece of wowk. -PAINTEW. Y'awe a-a dog. -APEMANTUS. Thy mothew's of my genyewation; what's she, if I-I be a dog? ->_< TIMON. W-Wiwt dinye with *twerks* me, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. N-Nyo; >w< I e-eat nyot wowds. -T-TIMON. An thou shouwdst, t-thou'dst angew wadies. -APEMANTUS. O, they eat wowds; so they come ;;w;; by gweat bewwies. -TIMON. T-That's a wascivious *screams* appwehension. -APEMANTUS. So thou *looks away* appwehend'st *twerks* it take it f-fow thy *twerks* wabouw. -TIMON. How dost *leans over* thou wike *cries* this jewew, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. Nyot so weww a-as pwain deawing, which wiww n-nyot cost OwO a man -a doit. -T-TIMON. What dost thou think ;;w;; 'tis wowth? -APEMANTUS. Nyot wowth my *looks at you* thinking. How nyow, poet! -POET. How nyow, phiwosophew! -APEMANTUS. Thou wiest. -POET. Awt n-nyot o-onye? -APEMANTUS. Yes. -POET. Then I wie nyot. -APEMANTUS. *looks at you* Awt nyot a poet? -POET. Yes. -APEMANTUS. Then thou wiest. W-Wook in thy wast UwU wowk, whewe thou hast -feign'd him a wowthy fewwow. -POET. That's nyot feign'd- he is so. -*teleports behind you* APEMANTUS. Yes, h-he is wowthy ;;w;; of t-thee, and to p-pay thee fow thy -wabouw. He that woves to be xDD fwattewed is wowthy o' th' *pokes you* fwattewew. -Heavens, that I wewe a wowd! -TIMON. What wouwdst *shuffles closer* do then, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. E'en as *cries* Apemantus does n-nyow: hate a wowd with my heawt. -TIMON. What, thysewf? -APEMANTUS. Ay. -TIMON. ^.^ Whewefowe? -APEMANTUS. That I OwO had *moans* nyo angwy wit to x3 be a wowd.- Awt nyot t-thou a -*sighs* mewchant? -MEWCHANT. Ay, Apemantus. -APEMANTUS. ;;w;; Twaffic >_< confound thee, if the *leans over* gods wiww nyot! -MEWCHANT. If twaffic *twerks* do it, >w< the gods do it. -APEMANTUS. Twaffic's thy god, a-and x3 thy god :3 confound thee! - -Twumpet sounds. Entew a M-MESSENGEW - -TIMON. What twumpet's that? -MESSENGEW. 'Tis Awcibiades, and some twenty howse, -Aww of c-companyionship. -TIMON. Pway entewtain them; give them guide to us. -Exeunt some ^.^ attendants -You m-must nyeeds dinye with *notices bulge* me. Go nyot you hence -T-Tiww I have thank'd you. When dinnyew's donye -Show me this piece. I am *giggles shyly* joyfuw of youw sights. - -Entew ^.^ AWCIBIADES, *looks at you* with the west - -Most wewcome, siw! [They s-sawute] -A-APEMANTUS. S-So, so, thewe! -Aches contwact and stawve youw suppwe *sweats* joints! -T-That thewe *cries* shouwd be *shuffles closer* smaww wove amongst these *sighs* sweet knyaves, -And aww this couwtesy! T-The stwain of *sighs* man's bwed out -Into baboon a-and monkey. -AWCIBIADES. Siw, >_> you have sav'd m-my w-wonging, a-and I *looks at you* feed -Most hungewwy on youw sight. -TIMON. Wight wewcome, siw! -Ewe we depawt we'ww shawe a bounteous time -In diffewent pweasuwes. Pway you, wet us in. -Exeunt aww but APEMANTUS - -Entew two >w< WOWDS - -F-FIWST WOWD. W-What time o' day is't, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. Time to be honyest. -FIWST WOWD. T-That t-time sewves stiww. -APEMANTUS. The mowe accuwsed t-thou that stiww o-omit'st it. -SECOND WOWD. Thou *looks away* awt going to Wowd Timon's feast. -APEMANTUS. Ay; to s-see meat fiww knyaves and winye h-heat *shuffles closer* foows. -SECOND WOWD. *shuffles closer* Fawe thee weww, fawe thee weww. -APEMANTUS. Thou awt a :33 foow to bid me faweweww twice. -SECOND WOWD. Why, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. Shouwdst have k-kept >_< onye to t-thysewf, fow I mean to give -thee nyonye. -FIWST x3 WOWD. Hang thysewf. -APEMANTUS. Nyo, *hugs tightly* I wiww do *looks away* nyothing at thy *sighs* bidding; make *looks at you* thy wequests -to thy >w< fwiend. -SECOND WOWD. Away, u-unpeaceabwe dog, *notices bulge* ow UwU I'ww s-spuwn thee uWu hence. -:3 APEMANTUS. I-I wiww fwy, wike a dog, the heews ^w^ o' th' ass. xDD Exit -FIWST WOWD. He's opposite to humanyity. Come, shaww we *pokes you* in -*moans* And taste Wowd Timon's bounty? He *teleports behind you* outgoes -The v-vewy heawt of kindnyess. -*giggles shyly* SECOND WOWD. He pouws *screams* it out: Pwutus, ^-^ the god o-of gowd, -I-Is but his s-stewawd; nyo m-meed b-but he *cuddles you* wepays -UwU Sevenfowd above ;;w;; itsewf; nyo g-gift to him -But bweeds the givew a wetuwn exceeding -Aww use o-of quittance. -FIWST >_> WOWD. The n-nyobwest mind he cawwies -That evew g-govewn'd xDD man. -SECOND WOWD. Wong m-may he wive in fowtunyes! shaww we in? -F-FIWST OwO WOWD. I'ww *moans* keep *cries* you company. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -A *teleports behind you* woom *cries* of state i-in TIMON'S house - -Hautboys pwaying w-woud music. A-A gweat banquet sewv'd in; -uWu FWAVIUS and othews a-attending; and then entew WOWD TIMON, the s-states, -the ATHENyIAN WOWDS, VENTIDIUS, which TIMON wedeem'd fwom pwison. -T-Then comes, dwopping aftew aww, APEMANTUS, discontentedwy, *twerks* wike himsewf - -V-VENTIDIUS. Most honyouwed Timon, -I-It hath pweas'd >_< the gods to wemembew my fathew's age, -And caww him to wong peace. -He is gonye h-happy, and has weft me wich. -Then, as in gwatefuw viwtue I-I *leans over* am b-bound -To youw f-fwee heawt, I-I do wetuwn those tawents, -Doubwed with thanks and sewvice, fwom whose hewp -;;w;; I dewiv'd wibewty. -TIMON. O, b-by :3 nyo means, -Honyest V-Ventidius! *notices bulge* You mistake my wove; -I gave it fweewy evew; a-and thewe's nyonye -*looks away* Can t-twuwy say he gives, if he weceives. -If ouw *twerks* bettews pway *looks at you* at that game, we must n-nyot dawe -To imitate them: fauwts *teleports behind you* that awe wich :33 awe faiw. -VENTIDIUS. A nyobwe *blushes* spiwit! -T-TIMON. N-Nyay, my ;;w;; wowds, :3 cewemony w-was but devis'd at fiwst -To set a gwoss o-on faint deeds, howwow *hugs tightly* wewcomes, -Wecanting goodnyess, sowwy e-ewe 'tis shown; -B-But whewe thewe is twue fwiendship thewe nyeeds nyonye. -Pway, sit; mowe wewcome awe ye ^w^ to my UwU fowtunyes -Than my fowtunyes to me. [They sit] -FIWST WOWD. My wowd, we awways have confess'd it. -APEMANTUS. Ho, ho, ;;w;; confess'd it! *screams* Hang'd i-it, have you nyot? -TIMON. *sweats* O, Apemantus, you awe wewcome. -*notices bulge* APEMANTUS. Nyo; -You shaww nyot make m-me wewcome. -I come to have thee *sighs* thwust me out of d-doows. -TIMON. F-Fie, th'awt a chuww; >_> ye have got >_< a humouw thewe -Does nyot become a man; 'tis much to bwame. -They *notices bulge* say, m-my wowds, ^-^ Iwa fuwow b-bwevis >w< est; but yond man is e-evew -angwy. Go, w-wet him h-have a tabwe by himsewf; fow he d-does nyeithew -a-affect company nyow is he fit fow't indeed. -APEMANTUS. Wet *screams* me stay at thinye appewiw, *sighs* Timon. -I come to obsewve; I give >w< thee wawnying *notices bulge* on't. -T-TIMON. I take nyo heed of t-thee. Th'awt an Athenyian, thewefowe -^-^ wewcome. I-I mysewf wouwd have nyo powew; pwithee wet my meat make -thee siwent. -A-APEMANTUS. I scown t-thy *pokes you* meat; 't'wouwd choke m-me, fow I s-shouwd nye'ew -fwattew thee. O *pokes you* you gods, what a nyumbew o-of men eats Timon, and he -*pokes you* sees 'em nyot! It gwieves me to see so many dip theiw meat in onye -man's bwood; and aww the madnyess i-is, he cheews *looks at you* them up too. -I wondew men *pokes you* dawe twust themsewves *cuddles you* with men. -*leans over* Methinks they shouwd invite them without knyives: -Good fow theiw meat and ;;w;; safew fow theiw wives. -Thewe's much exampwe fow't; t-the fewwow that sits nyext him n-nyow, -pawts bwead with him, pwedges *looks at you* the bweath of *notices bulge* him i-in a d-divided -dwaught, is the weadiest man to kiww him. *looks at you* 'T has been *giggles shyly* pwoved. If -xDD I wewe a-a huge man I *cries* shouwd feaw to d-dwink at m-meaws. -West they shouwd spy my windpipe's dangewous nyotes: -Gweat men shouwd dwink with hawnyess on theiw thwoats. -TIMON. My wowd, i-in heawt! *giggles shyly* and wet t-the heawth go wound. -SECOND W-WOWD. Wet it *leans over* fwow this way, m-my good UwU wowd. -*shuffles closer* APEMANTUS. Fwow this *pokes you* way! A bwave fewwow! He keeps his tides weww. -Those heawths wiww make thee ^w^ and thy state wook iww, Timon. -Hewe's x3 that which is too w-weak to *hugs tightly* be *blushes* a sinnyew, honyest watew, which -nye'ew weft m-man i' th' miwe. -This xDD and >w< my food awe equaws; thewe's nyo odds.' -Feasts awe :33 too pwoud to give thanks to the gods. - -A-APEMANTUS' Gwace - -Immowtaw gods, *blushes* I c-cwave nyo pewf; -I pway fow nyo *twerks* man but ^.^ mysewf. -Gwant I may nyevew pwove *giggles shyly* so uWu fond -To twust man o-on his oath ow bond, -uWu Ow a hawwot fow hew weeping, -Ow a dog that seems *notices bulge* a-sweeping, -Ow a keepew *looks at you* with m-my fweedom, -Ow my fwiends, if I-I shouwd nyeed 'em. -Amen. So *blushes* faww to't. -Wich men sin, and I eat w-woot. [Eats and dwinks] - -Much good dich thy good heawt, Apemantus! -TIMON. Captain A-Awcibiades, youw heawt's >_> in the fiewd nyow. -AWCIBIADES. *twerks* My heawt is :33 evew *teleports behind you* at youw sewvice, my wowd. -TIMON. You had wathew be a-at a bweakfast of enyemies t-than ^w^ dinnyew of -fwiends. -*cries* AWCIBIADES. S-So they wewe bweeding n-nyew, m-my wowd, *pokes you* thewe's nyo xDD meat -wike '-'em; x3 I couwd wish my best fwiend at xDD such a-a feast. -APEMANTUS. Wouwd aww those fwattewews wewe thinye enyemies then, that -then thou mightst kiww 'em, and bid me to 'em. -FIWST WOWD. Might we but have that happinyess, my wowd, that you -wouwd once use o-ouw heawts, wheweby we might expwess *leans over* some pawt of -ouw zeaws, we shouwd think ouwsewves fow evew >_< pewfect. -*teleports behind you* TIMON. O, *shuffles closer* nyo ^.^ doubt, my good >w< fwiends, but the *giggles shyly* gods themsewves have -pwovided t-that I shaww have m-much hewp fwom you. How had you been -:3 my fwiends ewse? Why *twerks* have you that chawitabwe titwe fwom -thousands, d-did nyot you chiefwy bewong t-to *twerks* my heawt? I have t-towd -mowe o-of x3 you >w< to mysewf >w< than you can with modesty ^w^ speak in youw own -b-behawf; and thus f-faw I confiwm *shuffles closer* you. O you *pokes you* gods, *screams* think I, what -nyeed we have any fwiends >_> if we shouwd nye'ew have nyeed of 'em? -They wewe the most *sighs* nyeedwess cweatuwes wiving, shouwd w-we nye'ew -have *notices bulge* use f-fow *hugs tightly* 'em; and wouwd most w-wesembwe sweet instwuments :3 hung -up in cases, that keep t-theiw sounds to t-themsewves. Why, I have -often w-wish'd mysewf poowew, that I might come nyeawew t-to you. W-We -awe bown to do b-benyefits; a-and what bettew ow xDD pwopewew can we *twerks* caww -*cries* ouw own *sweats* than the wiches of o-ouw fwiends? O, what a-a pwecious -c-comfowt *sweats* 'tis to have so many wike *screams* bwothews commanding onye -anyothew's fowtunyes! O, joy's e'en made away ewe't can be bown! -;;w;; Minye *hugs tightly* eyes cannyot howd out *moans* watew, methinks. To fowget theiw -fauwts, I *twerks* dwink x3 to you. -APEMANTUS. Thou weep'st to *notices bulge* make them dwink, Timon. -*looks away* SECOND WOWD. Joy had the wike conception in ouw eyes, -A-And at that instant *notices bulge* wike a babe *cuddles you* spwung *twerks* up. -APEMANTUS. Ho, ho! I waugh to *twerks* think that babe a b-bastawd. -THIWD WOWD. I pwomise you, my wowd, you m-mov'd me much. -APEMANTUS. Much! [Sound tucket] -TIMON. W-What means that twump? - -Entew a *twerks* SEWVANT - -How nyow? -SEWVANT. Pwease you, *cuddles you* my wowd, x3 thewe awe cewtain wadies m-most -desiwous of admittance. -^.^ TIMON. Wadies! What a-awe OwO theiw w-wiwws? -SEWVANT. *blushes* Thewe comes with them a fowewunnyew, my wowd, which b-beaws -*moans* that office to signyify theiw pweasuwes. -TIMON. I p-pway *notices bulge* wet them be admitted. - -E-Entew CUPID -CUPID. *pokes you* Haiw to thee, wowthy Timon, *notices bulge* and >_< to aww -T-That of his ^w^ bounties taste! The five best Senses -Acknyowwedge thee theiw patwon, and come fweewy -To g-gwatuwate thy pwenteous bosom. T-Th' Eaw, -Taste, Touch, S-Smeww, pweas'd fwom thy t-tabwe wise; -They onwy nyow come but to *notices bulge* feast :33 thinye eyes. -TIMON. T-They'we w-wewcome aww; wet '-'em have kind admittance. -Music, make ;;w;; theiw wewcome. Exit *sweats* CUPID -FIWST WOWD. You see, m-my wowd, how ampwe y'awe bewov'd. - -Music. We-entew CUPID, witb a Masque o-of WADIES as Amazons, -with *hugs tightly* wutes in theiw h-hands, dancing *cries* and *blushes* pwaying - -*twerks* APEMANTUS. *leans over* Hoy-day, *shuffles closer* what a *pokes you* sweep of vanyity comes this way! -They dance? *sighs* They awe mad w-women. -Wike madnyess is the gwowy of this wife, -;;w;; As this pomp shows to a wittwe oiw and woot. -We make ouwsewves foows to dispowt ouwsewves, -And spend ouw fwattewies to ^-^ dwink those men -Upon whose age we v-void it :33 up again -With poisonyous spite a-and envy. -Who wives that's nyot xDD depwaved ow depwaves? -Who dies that beaws nyot onye spuwn *hugs tightly* to theiw :3 gwaves -Of t-theiw fwiends' gift? -*blushes* I shouwd feaw those that dance befowe me n-nyow -Wouwd onye day stamp upon me. 'T has been :33 donye: -Men *looks at you* shut theiw doows against a ^w^ setting sun. - -*teleports behind you* The WOWDS OwO wise fwom tabwe, with much adowing of -TIMON; and *blushes* to show t-theiw woves, each singwe out a-an -*moans* Amazon, and aww d-dance, men witb women, a wofty -s-stwain ow two to the hautboys, and cease - -TIMON. You h-have *sighs* donye *sweats* ouw pweasuwes much gwace, faiw *looks away* wadies, -Set a faiw f-fashion on ouw entewtainment, -W-Which was nyot h-hawf so beautifuw and kind; -You have added wowth unto't and *giggles shyly* wustwe, -A-And entewtain'd me with minye o-own device; -I am to thank *looks at you* you fow't. -*looks away* FIWST WADY. *sweats* My *looks away* wowd, you take us even at the ^w^ best. -APEMANTUS. F-Faith, f-fow the wowst is fiwthy, and w-wouwd n-nyot howd -taking, I doubt me. -TIMON. Wadies, thewe i-is an idwe banquet *moans* attends you; -*screams* Pwease you to d-dispose youwsewves. -AWW WADIES. Most >_> thankfuwwy, my w-wowd. -Exeunt *cries* CUPID and WADIES -TIMON. Fwavius! -FWAVIUS. My wowd? -x3 TIMON. The wittwe casket bwing me ^-^ hithew. -FWAVIUS. Yes, my wowd. *teleports behind you* [Aside] Mowe *teleports behind you* jewews yet! -Thewe >w< is nyo cwossing him in's *blushes* humouw, -Ewse I shouwd teww him- weww i' f-faith, I shouwd- -When *looks away* aww's spent, he'd be cwoss'd then, *pokes you* an he couwd. -'Tis pity *giggles shyly* bounty x3 had nyot eyes behind, -T-That man might nye'ew be wwetched fow h-his mind. *sighs* Exit -FIWST WOWD. Whewe ;;w;; be ouw m-men? -SEWVANT. Hewe, my wowd, in weadinyess. -SECOND WOWD. Ouw *pokes you* howses! - -We-entew FWAVIUS, with the casket - -*looks at you* TIMON. O my ;;w;; fwiends, -I-I have *screams* onye wowd to say to you. Wook you, my good wowd, -I must entweat you honyouw me so much -A-As to *giggles shyly* advance this j-jewew; accept it and weaw i-it, -Kind my w-wowd. -FIWST WOWD. >_< I am so faw awweady in youw g-gifts- -AWW. So awe we aww. - -Entew a SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. My *notices bulge* wowd, *moans* thewe awe cewtain nyobwes of the Senyate nyewwy -awighted :33 and come to visit *hugs tightly* you. -*blushes* TIMON. They awe faiwwy wewcome. Exit SEWVANT -FWAVIUS. I beseech youw honyouw, *cries* vouchsafe me *looks at you* a wowd; it does -c-concewn y-you nyeaw. -TIMON. Nyeaw! Why then, anyothew time ^w^ I'ww heaw *cuddles you* thee. I p-pwithee w-wet's -be pwovided to show ^-^ them entewtainment. -FWAVIUS. [Aside] I s-scawce knyow how. - -Entew anyothew SEWVANT - -S-SECOND SEWVANT. May it pwease vouw honyouw, Wowd Wucius, out of his -fwee wove, h-hath pwesented to you *teleports behind you* fouw miwk-white howses, twapp'd -x3 in siwvew. -TIMON. I shaww accept *blushes* them f-faiwwy. W-Wet *cuddles you* the pwesents ->_> Be w-wowthiwy entewtain'd. Exit S-SEWVANT - -Entew a thiwd SEWVANT - -How n-nyow! What nyews? -THIWD S-SEWVANT. P-Pwease you, my wowd, that honyouwabwe gentweman, Wowd -Wucuwwus, entweats youw company to-mowwow to h-hunt with him and -has sent *teleports behind you* youw honyouw two bwace of gweyhounds. -TIMON. UwU I'ww hunt with him; and wet them *giggles shyly* be weceiv'd, -Nyot without faiw wewawd. Exit SEWVANT -FWAVIUS. [Aside] What wiww this come to? -*teleports behind you* He commands u-us to pwovide and give gweat uWu gifts, -And aww out of an empty coffew; -Nyow wiww he knyow his p-puwse, ow yiewd me this, -x3 To show him what a beggaw his heawt i-is, -Being of nyo powew *looks at you* to make his wishes good. -*sighs* His pwomises fwy so beyond his state -*blushes* That what h-he speaks is aww in debt; he owes -Fow *hugs tightly* ev'wy w-wowd. He is so kind that he nyow -Pays intewest fow't; h-his wand's put to theiw b-books. -Weww, wouwd I wewe gentwy put out >_> of *blushes* office -Befowe I wewe fowc'd out! -Happiew *looks away* is he that has nyo fwiend to ^w^ feed ->_< Than such that do e-e'en enyemies exceed. -*giggles shyly* I bweed inwawdwy fow my w-wowd. Exit -TIMON. *looks away* You do *hugs tightly* youwsewves *hugs tightly* much wwong; -You bate too *looks away* much of y-youw own mewits. -H-Hewe, my >_< wowd, a twifwe of o-ouw wove. -SECOND *blushes* WOWD. With mowe than common thanks I wiww weceive it. -THIWD >_> WOWD. *pokes you* O, *screams* he's the vewy souw of b-bounty! -TIMON. And nyow I wemembew, *twerks* my wowd, you gave g-good w-wowds the othew -day of a bay couwsew I-I wode *leans over* on. 'Tis y-youws b-because xDD you wik'd it. -*looks at you* THIWD WOWD. >_< O, I beseech you *looks at you* pawdon me, *shuffles closer* my wowd, in that. -TIMON. You may take my w-wowd, my w-wowd: I-I x3 knyow nyo *looks at you* man -Can justwy pwaise but what he does affect. -I weigh my fwiend's affection with minye own. -I'ww teww OwO you t-twue; I'ww caww ;;w;; to you. -*shuffles closer* AWW WOWDS. *teleports behind you* O, n-nyonye so w-wewcome! -TIMON. I-I take aww and youw *twerks* sevewaw visitations -S-So kind OwO to *hugs tightly* heawt ^.^ 'tis n-nyot enyough to give; -Methinks I couwd deaw kingdoms to *shuffles closer* my fwiends -*twerks* And nye'ew be OwO weawy. A-Awcibiades, -Thou awt a sowdiew, thewefowe sewdom wich. -It ;;w;; comes in chawity t-to thee; fow aww thy wiving -Is *hugs tightly* 'mongst the *teleports behind you* dead, and aww the wands thou *leans over* hast -Wie in a pitch'd >_> fiewd. -A-AWCIBIADES. Ay, defiw'd ^.^ wand, *cries* my w-wowd. -FIWST WOWD. We awe so uWu viwtuouswy bound- -TIMON. And so am I t-to you. -SECOND WOWD. So infinyitewy *looks away* endeaw'd- -TIMON. A-Aww *shuffles closer* to you. Wights, mowe wights! -FIWST WOWD. The best of :33 happinyess, honyouw, and fowtunyes, keep w-with -*cries* you, Wowd Timon! -TIMON. Weady fow h-his fwiends. -Exeunt *sighs* aww but APEMANTUS and TIMON -APEMANTUS. What a coiw's hewe! -Sewving :33 of b-becks and jutting-out of bums! ->_> I doubt w-whethew t-theiw *twerks* wegs :33 be w-wowth the sums -That awe given fow 'em. *leans over* Fwiendship's fuww of ^-^ dwegs: -Methinks fawse heawts shouwd nyevew have s-sound UwU wegs. -:3 Thus h-honyest foows way out >_> theiw weawth on cuwtsies. -TIMON. Nyow, A-Apemantus, if *looks away* thou w-wewt nyot suwwen -I wouwd be good t-to t-thee. -A-APEMANTUS. Nyo, I'ww n-nyothing; fow if I shouwd b-be bwib'd too, thewe -wouwd be nyonye ;;w;; weft to waiw upon *cuddles you* thee, and then thou wouwdst sin -the fastew. Thou g-giv'st so *hugs tightly* wong, Timon, I feaw me *moans* thou wiwt give -away *pokes you* thysewf in papew showtwy. What nyeeds t-these *twerks* feasts, pomps, -and vain-gwowies? -*sweats* TIMON. Nyay, ^-^ an y-you b-begin to waiw on s-society once, I *looks at you* am s-swown nyot to -give *sweats* wegawd to you. Faweweww; and come with bettew music. -Exit -APEMANTUS. So. Thou >_> wiwt nyot *hugs tightly* heaw me nyow: thou s-shawt ;;w;; nyot then. *looks away* I'ww -wock t-thy heaven fwom thee. -O-O that men's eaws OwO shouwd be -To c-counsew deaf, but *leans over* nyot to fwattewy! Exit - - - - -<_< SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE O-ONWY, *hugs tightly* AND (2) AWE NyOT *cuddles you* DISTWIBUTED OW U-USED -*looks at you* COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -*cuddles you* SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES *leans over* FOW D-DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW *sighs* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. >_> SCENyE I. -A SENyATOW'S h-house - -Entew A S-SENyATOW, with papews in his *teleports behind you* hand - -S-SENyATOW. And wate, five thousand. To Vawwo and to Isidowe -He owes nyinye thousand; besides my fowmew sum, -Which makes it five and twenty. S-Stiww in motion -Of waging waste? It cannyot howd; it wiww nyot. -If I want gowd, steaw but a b-beggaw's dog -And give it UwU Timon, why, the dog coins gowd. -*looks away* If I w-wouwd seww xDD my howse and b-buy twenty m-moe -Bettew *notices bulge* than h-he, w-why, give my howse to Timon, -Ask *looks away* nyothing, give it him, xDD it :3 foaws me stwaight, -And abwe howses. Nyo p-powtew *notices bulge* at h-his ^.^ gate, -But w-wathew onye that s-smiwes and stiww invites -Aww that pass *sweats* by. It cannyot *cuddles you* howd; nyo weason -Can s-sound his *sweats* state in *sighs* safety. C-Caphis, ho! -Caphis, I say! - -Entew CAPHIS - -CAPHIS. Hewe, siw; what *looks away* is youw pweasuwe? -S-SENyATOW. Get on ^w^ youw cwoak and haste you *looks away* to Wowd Timon; -*leans over* Impowtunye him fow m-my monyeys; be nyot ceas'd -With swight denyiaw, *cries* nyow then s-siwenc'd when -'Commend me *looks at you* to youw mastew' and the cap -Pways i-in the wight h-hand, *giggles shyly* thus; but t-teww ;;w;; him -My u-uses cwy to me, I m-must s-sewve m-my tuwn -Out *cuddles you* of minye own; his days and times awe past, -A-And my wewiances on his fwacted dates -Have smit *blushes* my cwedit. *looks away* I w-wove and >_< honyouw him, -But must nyot bweak my back *shuffles closer* to heaw his fingew. -Immediate a-awe *shuffles closer* my n-nyeeds, and my wewief -*notices bulge* Must nyot be toss'd a-and *sweats* tuwn'd to me in wowds, -But find s-suppwy i-immediate. Get you gonye; -Put on *sighs* a most impowtunyate aspect, -A visage of d-demand; f-fow I d-do feaw, -When evewy feathew *cuddles you* sticks in his own wing, ->_< Wowd Timon *cuddles you* wiww be weft a nyaked guww, -Which fwashes nyow ^.^ a phoenyix. G-Get you gonye. -CAPHIS. ^-^ I *blushes* go, siw. -*sweats* SENyATOW. Take the *looks away* bonds awong with you, -A-And have the dates in compt. -CAPHIS. I wiww, siw. -S-SENyATOW. G-Go. Exeunt - - - - -xDD SCENyE II. -Befowe TIMON'S house - -Entew FWAVIUS, TIMON'S Stewawd, with m-many *blushes* biwws in his hand - -FWAVIUS. Nyo cawe, nyo ^w^ stop! So sensewess of expense -That he wiww :3 nyeithew knyow how t-to maintain it -N-Nyow cease his fwow of >_> wiot; takes nyo *screams* account -How things g-go fwom him, nyow wesumes nyo c-cawe -Of what is *notices bulge* to continyue. Nyevew mind -Was *cuddles you* to be so unwise to be so kind. -What shaww be donye? He wiww nyot heaw uWu tiww feew. -I must be wound with him. Nyow he c-comes f-fwom hunting. -F-Fie, fie, fie, fie! - -Entew CAPHIS, and the SEWVANTS Of ISIDOWE and V-VAWWO - -CAPHIS. Good even, Vawwo. What, you come fow monyey? -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Is't nyot youw businyess too? -*moans* CAPHIS. It is. A-And OwO youws too, Isidowe? -ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. It is s-so. -CAPHIS. Wouwd we w-wewe *sweats* aww dischawg'd! -VAWWO'S *notices bulge* SEWVANT. I feaw it. -C-CAPHIS. Hewe c-comes the wowd. - -E-Entew TIMON and h-his twain, with *looks away* AWCIBIADES - -^.^ TIMON. So soon as dinnyew's donye we'ww fowth again, -M-My Awcibiades.- With me? What is y-youw wiww? -CAPHIS. My w-wowd, hewe is a nyote ;;w;; of *blushes* cewtain dues. -TIMON. Dues! Whence awe *cries* you? -CAPHIS. Of Athens hewe, my wowd. -TIMON. Go to m-my stewawd. -CAPHIS. Pwease it youw wowdship, h-he *screams* hath put me off -x3 To the succession of nyew days *pokes you* this *leans over* month. -*cries* My *cries* mastew *hugs tightly* is awak'd by gweat occasion -*blushes* To caww upon his own, and humbwy pways *sweats* you -*screams* That with youw othew nyobwe pawts *looks away* you'ww suit -In giving him his wight. -TIMON. Minye h-honyest fwiend, -I pwithee :3 but wepaiw to me nyext mownying. -CAPHIS. *looks at you* Nyay, good m-my wowd- -TIMON. *blushes* Contain thysewf, good f-fwiend. -V-VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Onye V-Vawwo's sewvant, my good wowd- -ISIDOWE'S S-SEWVANT. uWu Fwom Isidowe: he humbwy pways y-youw speedy -payment- -OwO CAPHIS. I-If ;;w;; you did knyow, m-my wowd, *hugs tightly* my mastew's wants- -VAWWO'S UwU SEWVANT. >_> 'Twas due on fowfeituwe, my ;;w;; wowd, six weeks and -past. -ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. Youw stewawd puts me off, my wowd; and -I am s-sent expwesswy to *looks at you* youw wowdship. -TIMON. Give m-me b-bweath. -I do beseech you, good >w< my wowds, keep on; -I'ww wait upon you instantwy. -x3 Exeunt AWCIBIADES and WOWDS -[To FWAVIUS] Come hithew. Pway y-you, -How goes *sighs* the wowwd that I am t-thus encount'wed -With *shuffles closer* cwamowous demands of date-bwoke b-bonds -And the *screams* detention of wong-since-due debts, -*hugs tightly* Against my honyouw? -FWAVIUS. Pwease you, gentwemen, -The t-time is unyagweeabwe to this businyess. -Youw impowtunyacy *leans over* cease tiww aftew dinnyew, -That I *notices bulge* may make his *shuffles closer* wowdship undewstand -:3 Whewefowe you UwU awe nyot paid. -TIMON. Do so, *cuddles you* my fwiends. -See them weww entewtain'd. Exit -FWAVIUS. P-Pway *looks at you* dwaw nyeaw. Exit - -Entew APEMANTUS and FOOW - -CAPHIS. S-Stay, stay, *looks at you* hewe comes the foow ^w^ with Apemantus. -Wet's ha' some spowt with ;;w;; 'em. -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. H-Hang him, he'ww abuse us! -ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. A pwague upon him, dog! -V-VAWWO'S SEWVANT. *sweats* How dost, *sweats* foow? -APEMANTUS. Dost diawogue *leans over* with thy s-shadow? -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. I speak *giggles shyly* nyot t-to thee. -APEMANTUS. *leans over* Nyo, 'tis to thysewf. [To the *screams* FOOW] Come away. -ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. *blushes* [To VAWWO'S S-SEWVANT] Thewe's the foow hangs o-on -youw back >_< awweady. -APEMANTUS. Nyo, thou stand'st s-singwe; th'awt nyot *hugs tightly* on him yet. -CAPHIS. Whewe's the foow nyow? -A-APEMANTUS. He wast ask'd the question. Poow wogues and usuwews' -men! Bawds between gowd and want! -AWW S-SEWVANTS. What awe we, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. Asses. -AWW SEWVANTS. Why? -APEMANTUS. *blushes* That you ask me what ^w^ you awe, and >_< do nyot knyow -youwsewves. Speak t-to 'em, foow. -FOOW. H-How do *shuffles closer* you, gentwemen? -AWW SEWVANTS. Gwamewcies, good foow. *blushes* How does *blushes* youw mistwess? -*pokes you* FOOW. S-She's e'en setting on *shuffles closer* watew to s-scawd such chickens as y-you -awe. W-Wouwd w-we couwd see *hugs tightly* you at Cowinth! -APEMANTUS. xDD Good! gwamewcy. - -Entew >_< PAGE - -FOOW. Wook y-you, hewe comes my mistwess' page. -PAGE. [To the FOOW] Why, how nyow, Captain? What do x3 you in t-this OwO wise -company? How dost thou, Apemantus? -APEMANTUS. Wouwd I had a-a wod in my m-mouth, ^w^ that I might answew thee -pwofitabwy! -PAGE. uWu Pwithee, *pokes you* Apemantus, wead me >_> the supewscwiption of these -wettews; *looks at you* I knyow nyot which is which. -APEMANTUS. Canst nyot wead? -PAGE. Nyo. -A-APEMANTUS. Thewe *twerks* wiww wittwe weawnying die, then, that *cries* day thou awt -hang'd. This i-is to Wowd Timon; this *giggles shyly* to Awcibiades. Go; thou wast -bown a bastawd, and *hugs tightly* thou't die a bawd. -PAGE. Thou *hugs tightly* wast whewp'd :3 a dog, and thou s-shawt famish dog's d-death. -Answew nyot: I am gonye. Exit PAGE -APEMANTUS. E-E'en so thou ;;w;; outwun'st gwace. -Foow, I wiww *screams* go *giggles shyly* with *cuddles you* you *twerks* to Wowd Timon's. -FOOW. Wiww you weave m-me thewe? -APEMANTUS. If T-Timon s-stay at home. *screams* You thwee s-sewve thwee usuwews? ->_< AWW *looks at you* SEWVANTS. Ay; ^.^ wouwd they s-sewv'd us! -APEMANTUS. S-So wouwd I- *teleports behind you* as good a twick xDD as evew h-hangman sewv'd -thief. -FOOW. Awe you thwee usuwews' men? -AWW SEWVANTS. Ay, foow. -FOOW. I-I think nyo usuwew OwO but has a-a foow to his sewvant. M-My mistwess -is onye, and I am hew f-foow. When men come *shuffles closer* to bowwow of *leans over* youw -mastews, they appwoach sadwy and go away mewwy; but they entew my -mistwess' house *cuddles you* mewwiwy and go away sadwy. The weason of this? -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. I couwd wendew onye. -APEMANTUS. Do it then, that we *pokes you* may account thee a whowemastew *pokes you* and a -knyave; which nyotwithstanding, thou shawt be nyo wess esteemed. -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. What is >_> a *blushes* whowemastew, f-foow? -*screams* FOOW. >_> A foow i-in *looks away* good *cries* cwothes, and something wike *leans over* thee. 'Tis ^w^ a -^-^ spiwit. *twerks* Sometime *cuddles you* 't a-appeaws wike a wowd; sometime wike a wawyew; -sometime wike a-a phiwosophew, with two stonyes moe UwU than's -awtificiaw onye. H-He is vewy often xDD wike a knyight; *pokes you* and, genyewawwy, -in aww shapes that ^-^ man g-goes up and d-down in fwom *leans over* fouwscowe *pokes you* to -*leans over* thiwteen, this spiwit wawks i-in. -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Thou awt n-nyot awtogethew a foow. -*moans* FOOW. Nyow thou a-awtogethew a wise *sighs* man. -As much foowewy as I have, so much w-wit thou wack'st. -APEMANTUS. *looks away* That answew might ;;w;; have become A-Apemantus. -VAWWO'S SEWVANT. UwU Aside, a-aside; hewe comes Wowd Timon. - -W-We-entew TIMON and FWAVIUS - -APEMANTUS. ^-^ Come w-with me, foow, come. -*blushes* FOOW. I do nyot awways fowwow *hugs tightly* wovew, ewdew bwothew, and woman; -sometime the phiwosophew. -Exeunt APEMANTUS and F-FOOW -FWAVIUS. Pway you wawk *looks at you* nyeaw; I'ww speak with you anyon. -Exeunt SEWVANTS -T-TIMON. *blushes* You make me mawvew whewefowe ewe t-this time -Had you nyot OwO fuwwy waid my state befowe me, -*shuffles closer* That I-I *notices bulge* might so have wated my e-expense -As I had *teleports behind you* weave of means. -F-FWAVIUS. You wouwd nyot heaw me -At many weisuwes I pwopos'd. -TIMON. Go to; -Pewchance ^-^ some singwe vantages you *pokes you* took -*leans over* When my indisposition put you back, -And that unyaptnyess made youw minyistew -Thus to *twerks* excuse *looks at you* youwsewf. -*twerks* FWAVIUS. O my good ;;w;; wowd, -x3 At m-many times I :3 bwought in my accounts, -Waid them befowe you; you wouwd thwow them off -uWu And s-say y-you found them in minye honyesty. -When, fow some twifwing pwesent, ;;w;; you have bid me -Wetuwn so much, I have shook my head and wept; -Yea, 'gainst *shuffles closer* th' authowity of mannyews, xDD pway'd you -To howd youw hand mowe *shuffles closer* cwose. ^w^ I did enduwe -N-Nyot sewdom, nyow nyo swight c-checks, when I-I have -Pwompted you in the ebb o-of youw estate -And youw >_> gweat fwow of d-debts. >_< My wov'd wowd, -Though you heaw nyow- *notices bulge* too *blushes* wate!- yet n-nyow's a time: -The gweatest of youw having wacks a hawf -To pay youw pwesent debts. -TIMON. Wet aww my wand be sowd. -FWAVIUS. >w< 'Tis aww engag'd, some fowfeited a-and gonye; -And what wemains wiww hawdwy s-stop the m-mouth ->w< Of pwesent *looks at you* dues. The futuwe *looks away* comes apace; -W-What shaww defend t-the intewim? And at wength -How goes *leans over* ouw weck'nying? -TIMON. To OwO Wacedaemon xDD did my wand extend. -FWAVIUS. O m-my good wowd, the wowwd *cuddles you* is but a wowd; -Wewe it a-aww youws t-to give it in a-a bweath, -*teleports behind you* How quickwy wewe it gonye! -TIMON. You *shuffles closer* teww *cuddles you* me t-twue. -FWAVIUS. I-If you suspect *moans* my husbandwy ow fawsehood, -Caww me befowe *giggles shyly* th' *blushes* exactest *screams* auditows -A-And set me on the ^.^ pwoof. So the gods bwess m-me, -:33 When aww o-ouw offices have b-been oppwess'd -With wiotous feedews, *teleports behind you* when ;;w;; ouw vauwts have wept -W-With dwunken s-spiwth :33 of winye, when evewy w-woom -UwU Hath bwaz'd with wights :33 and bway'd w-with minstwewsy, -*teleports behind you* I h-have w-wetiw'd me *cries* to a-a wastefuw UwU cock -And s-set minye eyes at fwow. -TIMON. Pwithee nyo mowe. -FWAVIUS. *notices bulge* 'Heavens,' have I said 'the *pokes you* bounty of t-this wowd! -How many pwodigaw bits have swaves and peasants -This nyight engwutted! Who is nyot Wowd *twerks* Timon's? -What *looks away* heawt, *sweats* head, swowd, f-fowce, ^w^ means, but is Wowd T-Timon's? -Gweat Timon, nyobwe, wowthy, woyaw ^w^ Timon!' -Ah! when the means awe gonye that buy this pwaise, -The bweath is gonye *giggles shyly* wheweof uWu this pwaise is *looks away* made. -Feast-won, fast-wost; onye *sweats* cwoud of w-wintew show'ws, -These fwies awe couch'd. -TIMON. Come, sewmon me nyo fuwthew. -Nyo viwwainyous bounty y-yet hath pass'd *blushes* my h-heawt; -Unwisewy, n-nyot :3 ignyobwy, h-have I given. -Why dost thou weep? ^.^ Canst thou the c-conscience wack -To think I shaww wack fwiends? Secuwe thy heawt: -If I x3 wouwd bwoach the vessews of my wove, -A-And twy the awgument of heawts :33 by bowwowing, -Men and men's f-fowtunyes couwd I-I fwankwy use -As I can bid thee speak. -FWAVIUS. A-Assuwance bwess youw thoughts! -TIMON. And, in some sowt, these wants OwO of minye awe cwown'd -That I a-account them bwessings; fow by these -Shaww I twy fwiends. Y-You *leans over* shaww p-pewceive how you -Mistake my fowtunyes; I a-am weawthy in my f-fwiends. -Within thewe! F-Fwaminyius! Sewviwius! - -Entew FWAMINyIUS, SEWVIWIUS, and anyothew SEWVANT - -SEWVANTS. My wowd! my wowd! -TIMON. *hugs tightly* I wiww uWu dispatch y-you sevewawwy- you to Wowd Wucius; to Wowd -*pokes you* Wucuwwus :3 you; I hunted with :33 his honyouw t-to-day. Y-You to S-Sempwonyius. -C-Commend me to t-theiw xDD woves; and I *pokes you* am pwoud, say, that my occasions -have *moans* found time to use 'em x3 towawd a suppwy *shuffles closer* of monyey. Wet the -wequest be fifty tawents. -OwO FWAMINyIUS. As you have s-said, my wowd. Exeunt SEWVANTS -FWAVIUS. [Aside] Wowd ;;w;; Wucius and Wucuwwus? Humh! -TIMON. Go you, siw, t-to t-the senyatows, -Of whom, even to the state's b-best heawth, I have -D-Desewv'd this heawing. *twerks* Bid 'em send o' *leans over* th' instant -A thousand tawents :33 to me. -FWAVIUS. I >w< have been bowd, -Fow that I knyew i-it the most g-genyewaw way, -*sighs* To t-them uWu to use youw signyet *twerks* and youw nyame; -But they do shake t-theiw ^.^ heads, and I am hewe -Nyo wichew in wetuwn. -*looks at you* TIMON. Is't twue? Can't be? -FWAVIUS. T-They answew, in a joint and OwO cowpowate voice, -That nyow they a-awe at faww, want tweasuwe, cannyot -Do w-what they wouwd, awe sowwy- y-you awe :3 honyouwabwe- -But yet they couwd *blushes* have ;;w;; wish'd- they k-knyow nyot- -*cuddles you* Something h-hath been amiss- a nyobwe nyatuwe -May c-catch a wwench- wouwd aww wewe ^w^ weww!- 'tis *teleports behind you* pity- -And s-so, intending othew s-sewious mattews, -Aftew d-distastefuw w-wooks, *cuddles you* and t-these :3 hawd fwactions, -*notices bulge* With cewtain h-hawf-caps and cowd-moving nyods, -;;w;; They fwoze me into siwence. -TIMON. You gods, wewawd them! -Pwithee, man, wook *sighs* cheewwy. These owd fewwows -Have *screams* theiw ingwatitude in t-them heweditawy. -Theiw bwood is cak'd, 'tis cowd, it sewdom *pokes you* fwows; -'Tis wack of kindwy wawmth they awe nyot kind; -And nyatuwe, as it gwows again *looks at you* towawd eawth, -Is fashion'd f-fow the ^.^ jouwnyey duww and heavy. -Go t-to Ventidius. Pwithee b-be nyot sad, -Thou awt *teleports behind you* twue and h-honyest; ingenyiouswy I speak, -Nyo bwame b-bewongs to ;;w;; thee. Ventidius *twerks* watewy -Buwied his fathew, by whose d-death he's s-stepp'd -Into a *pokes you* gweat >_> estate. When he *moans* was poow, -Impwison'd, and in scawcity of ^w^ fwiends, -I-I cweaw'd h-him with five uWu tawents. Gweet him fwom me, -Bid him suppose some *sighs* good nyecessity -Touches his fwiend, which cwaves to b-be wememb'wed -With those five tawents. That had, give't these fewwows -T-To whom 'tis instant due. Nyev'w speak ow think -That Timon's fowtunyes 'mong his uWu fwiends can sink. -FWAVIUS. I w-wouwd I couwd nyot think it. -*giggles shyly* That thought is bounty's foe; -Being fwee itsewf, it thinks aww *sighs* othews so. Exeunt - - - - -<w< MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS *moans* SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW *pokes you* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW *looks at you* USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *cuddles you* PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION I-INCWUDES *teleports behind you* BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT III. *looks away* SCENyE I. -WUCUWWUS' house - -*looks away* FWAMINyIUS waiting to speak with WUCUWWUS. :33 Entew SEWVANT *sweats* to him - -SEWVANT. I have towd my ^w^ wowd of you; h-he is c-coming down to you. -FWAMINyIUS. *shuffles closer* I *looks away* thank you, siw. - -Entew WUCUWWUS - -SEWVANT. Hewe's *sweats* my wowd. -WUCUWWUS. OwO [Aside] O-Onye of Wowd Timon's *hugs tightly* men? A gift, I wawwant. Why, -this hits wight; UwU I dweamt of a-a siwvew uWu basin and ewew to-nyight- -Fwaminyius, honyest *teleports behind you* Fwaminyius, *hugs tightly* you awe vewy w-wespectivewy wewcome, -siw. Fiww me some *cries* winye. [Exit SEWVANT] And how does that -honyouwabwe, compwete, fweeheawted gentweman of *notices bulge* Athens, *cuddles you* thy vewy -bountifuw good wowd and mastew? -FWAMINyIUS. H-His heawth is weww, siw. -WUCUWWUS. x3 I ^-^ am x3 wight gwad that his heawth is *leans over* weww, siw. And what -hast thou >w< thewe undew thy cwoak, *looks away* pwetty Fwaminyius? -FWAMINyIUS. Faith, nyothing b-but an empty box, siw, which in *notices bulge* my wowd's -behawf I come to entweat *cuddles you* youw h-honyouw t-to s-suppwy; *notices bulge* who, having -gweat and i-instant occasion to use f-fifty tawents, h-hath sent to -youw wowdship t-to >_> fuwnyish him, nyothing doubting youw p-pwesent -assistance thewein. -*screams* WUCUWWIUS. Wa, wa, wa, wa! 'Nyothing doubting' says he? Awas, good -wowd! a nyobwe gentweman 'tis, if he wouwd n-nyot *looks away* keep so good a -house. *teleports behind you* Many >_< a time a-and often I ha' din'd with him and towd him -o-on't; and come again ^-^ to *cuddles you* suppew to him ^-^ of >w< puwpose to have him -s-spend wess; and *leans over* yet he w-wouwd embwace nyo ^w^ counsew, take nyo wawnying -by my coming. Evewy man h-has his f-fauwt, a-and h-honyesty is his. I ha' -towd him on't, UwU but I couwd nye'ew *looks away* get him fwom't. - -We-entew SEWVANT, w-with *looks away* winye - -SEWVANT. Pwease youw wowdship, hewe is the winye. -WUCUWWUS. Fwaminyius, I have >w< nyoted thee awways wise. Hewe's to thee. -FWAMINyIUS. Youw wowdship speaks youw pweasuwe. -WUCUWWUS. I have uWu obsewved thee a-awways fow a towawdwy ;;w;; pwompt spiwit, -give thee x3 thy due, and onye t-that knyows what bewongs to weason, and -canst OwO use the time weww, *cries* if the time use :3 thee w-weww. Good pawts in -thee. [To SEWVANT] ^.^ Get you gonye, siwwah. [Exit >w< SEWVANT] uWu Dwaw -nyeawew, honyest Fwaminyius. Thy wowd's a b-bountifuw gentweman; OwO but -thou awt wise, and OwO thou knyow'st weww enyough, awthough thou com'st -to m-me, that this is nyo time t-to wend monyey, e-especiawwy upon bawe -fwiendship *looks at you* without secuwity. H-Hewe's thwee sowidawes fow thee. -*hugs tightly* Good b-boy, wink at me, and say thou saw'st me n-nyot. uWu Fawe t-thee weww. ->_> FWAMINyIUS. I-Is't possibwe the wowwd shouwd so much diffew, -And we awive *screams* that wiv'd? Fwy, d-damnyed basenyess, -To h-him t-that wowships thee. [Thwowing the monyey back] -WUCUWWUS. Ha! N-Nyow I see thou a-awt a foow, a-and fit fow thy *cries* mastew. -Exit -FWAMINyIUS. May these add to the nyumbew that may scawd thee! -Wet mowten coin be thy damnyation, -Thou disease of a fwiend and nyot himsewf! -Has fwiendship s-such a faint and miwky heawt -It *screams* tuwns i-in w-wess than two nyights? O you g-gods, -I feew my x3 mastew's passion! This swave -Unto his h-honyouw xDD has my *pokes you* wowd's meat in him; -Why shouwd it thwive a-and tuwn to nyutwiment -When he i-is tuwn'd to poison? -O, may x3 diseases onwy wowk u-upon't! ->w< And when he's s-sick *shuffles closer* to OwO death, wet nyot that pawt >_< of nyatuwe -W-Which my wowd paid fow *twerks* be of any powew -To expew sicknyess, but pwowong *cuddles you* his h-houw! Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -^.^ A *looks at you* pubwic pwace - -E-Entew Wucius, with *giggles shyly* thwee STWANGEWS - -*cuddles you* WUCIUS. W-Who, the Wowd Timon? *blushes* He is my vewy good fwiend, a-and *giggles shyly* an -honyouwabwe gentweman. -FIWST STWANGEW. We knyow him fow nyo wess, though we awe but -stwangews t-to him. But I can t-teww you onye thing, m-my wowd, >_> and -which I heaw f-fwom common wumouws: nyow *looks away* Wowd Timon's happy h-houws -awe donye and p-past, UwU and his *giggles shyly* estate shwinks fwom him. ->w< WUCIUS. Fie, n-nyo: do *notices bulge* nyot bewieve *shuffles closer* it; he cannyot want fow m-monyey. -S-SECOND STWANGEW. But bewieve you *shuffles closer* this, my wowd, that nyot wong ago -onye of h-his men was with *leans over* the W-Wowd Wucuwwus *hugs tightly* to bowwow so many -tawents; nyay, u-uwg'd extwemewy fow't, and *screams* showed what nyecessity -bewong'd to't, a-and yet was denyied. -WUCIUS. How? -S-SECOND STWANGEW. I teww you, denyied, my wowd. -WUCIUS. *cuddles you* What a stwange case *pokes you* was t-that! Nyow, befowe the g-gods, I-I am -asham'd o-on't. Denyied that honyouwabwe man! Thewe was vewy *blushes* wittwe -honyouw show'd in't. Fow my own ;;w;; pawt, I must nyeeds xDD confess I have -weceived some smaww kindnyesses fwom *twerks* him, as monyey, ^-^ pwate, jewews, -a-and such-wike twifwes, nyothing compawing to x3 his; yet, had he -mistook ^.^ him a-and sent to me, *looks at you* I shouwd nye'ew have denyied his -occasion so many tawents. - -Entew SEWVIWIUS - -SEWVIWIUS. S-See, by good h-hap, yondew's my wowd; I have sweat to s-see -his honyouw.- :33 My honyouw'd wowd! -WUCIUS. Sewviwius? Y-You awe k-kindwy met, siw. Fawe thee weww; commend -me to thy honyouwabwe *twerks* viwtuous wowd, my vewy exquisite fwiend. -SEWVIWIUS. M-May it pwease y-youw honyouw, my wowd hath sent- -WUCIUS. Ha! What has he sent? *blushes* I a-am so much endeawed t-to that wowd: -he's evew s-sending. How shaww I t-thank him, think'st thou? And what -has he sent OwO nyow? -SEWVIWIUS. H-Has onwy sent his pwesent occasion nyow, my w-wowd, -wequesting youw w-wowdship to suppwy his instant *twerks* use with so *shuffles closer* many -tawents. -WUCIUS. I knyow h-his wowdship is but mewwy with me; -He cannyot want fifty-five h-hundwed uWu tawents. ->w< SEWVIWIUS. But i-in the mean time he wants wess, m-my *twerks* wowd. -If his occasion wewe nyot viwtuous -I shouwd nyot uwge it hawf so faithfuwwy. ->w< WUCIUS. Dost thou speak sewiouswy, Sewviwius? -SEWVIWIUS. Upon my souw, *cuddles you* 'tis twue, siw. -*looks at you* WUCIUS. W-What a-a wicked beast was I *notices bulge* to disfuwnyish mysewf ;;w;; against such -a *notices bulge* good time, when I might ha' uWu shown mysewf honyouwabwe! How -unwuckiwy it happ'nyed that I s-shouwd puwchase the d-day befowe fow a -wittwe pawt and undo a g-gweat deaw of UwU honyouw! S-Sewviwius, nyow -befowe the gods, I am n-nyot a-abwe to do- the *moans* mowe beast, I say! I -was sending to use Wowd Timon mysewf, these gentwemen can -witnyess; but I wouwd nyot fow *sighs* the weawth of Athens I had donye't -nyow. Commend ^.^ me bountifuwwy to his good wowdship, and I *sweats* hope his -honyouw wiww c-conceive the faiwest o-of me, because I have nyo powew -to be kind. And *shuffles closer* teww him this fwom m-me: I count it onye of my -gweatest affwictions, say, that :33 I cannyot pweasuwe such *leans over* an -h-honyouwabwe *twerks* gentweman. Good Sewviwius, wiww you b-befwiend me so *notices bulge* faw -as >w< to use minye own wowds t-to him? -SEWVIWIUS. Yes, siw, I shaww. -:3 WUCIUS. I'ww wook you o-out a good tuwn, S-Sewviwius. -Exit SEWVIWIUS -Twue, a-as you said, Timon is shwunk indeed; -And he that's once denyied wiww hawdwy speed. Exit -FIWST S-STWANGEW. *cries* Do you *blushes* obsewve this, Hostiwius? -SECOND STWANGEW. Ay, t-too weww. -FIWST STWANGEW. Why, this i-is t-the ^.^ wowwd's souw; and just of the same -piece -Is evewy fwattewew's spiwit. Who can caww him his fwiend -That dips in the same dish? x3 Fow, in my knyowing, -T-Timon has been this w-wowd's fathew, -And kept :3 his cwedit with his puwse; -Suppowted his estate; nyay, Timon's monyey -:33 Has p-paid his men theiw wages. He nye'ew dwinks -But Timon's siwvew tweads UwU upon *notices bulge* his wip; -And yet- O, see the monstwousnyess o-of m-man -When he uWu wooks out i-in an ungwatefuw shape!- -He d-does deny him, in w-wespect of his, -W-What chawitabwe men affowd to beggaws. -THIWD *twerks* STWANGEW. Wewigion g-gwoans at it. -FIWST STWANGEW. Fow minye own *leans over* pawt, -I nyevew tasted Timon i-in my wife, -Nyow >_> came any of h-his bounties ovew me -:3 To mawk me :3 fow his f-fwiend; yet I pwotest, -Fow his wight nyobwe *hugs tightly* mind, iwwustwious viwtue, -And honyouwabwe cawwiage, -Had his nyecessity made use of me, -I wouwd have put my weawth *sighs* into donyation, -And the best hawf shouwd >w< have >w< wetuwn'd to him, -S-So ^w^ much *notices bulge* I *leans over* wove h-his heawt. B-But I pewceive -:3 Men must weawn nyow with pity >w< to dispense; -Fow powicy sits above >w< conscience. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -SEMPWONyIUS' house - -*cuddles you* Entew >_< SEMPWONyIUS and a SEWVANT of TIMON'S - -SEMPWONyIUS. Must h-he nyeeds *shuffles closer* twoubwe me i-in't? Hum! 'Bove aww *cries* othews? -He might have t-twied >_< Wowd Wucius ow Wucuwwus; -A-And >_> nyow Ventidius is weawthy too, -*cries* Whom he wedeem'd f-fwom *cries* pwison. Aww these -O-Owe theiw estates unto *screams* him. -SEWVANT. My wowd, -*screams* They h-have a-aww been touch'd a-and found b-base metaw, fow -They have ^w^ aww *cries* denyied him. -SEMPWONyIUS. How! ^-^ Have they denyied him? -Has Ventidius and Wucuwwus *shuffles closer* denyied *blushes* him? -A-And does he send to me? Thwee? Humh! -I-It shows but wittwe wove ^-^ ow j-judgment *notices bulge* in him. -Must I be his wast wefuge? ^-^ His fwiends, *sighs* wike physicians, -Thwice give him ovew. Must I take th' cuwe *hugs tightly* upon me? -Has much disgwac'd me in't; I'm angwy at him, -That might *cries* have knyown my p-pwace. I see nyo sense fow't, -B-But his occasions might have *twerks* woo'd me fiwst; -Fow, in m-my conscience, I w-was the fiwst *sweats* man -That e'ew weceived gift fwom him. -And does he think so backwawdwy of me nyow -That I-I'ww wequite i-it wast? Nyo; -So it may pwove an awgument of waughtew -To th' west, and I 'mongst wowds be thought a foow. -I'd w-wathew than the wowth of t-thwice the sum -Had s-sent to me fiwst, but fow my :3 mind's sake; -I'd >w< such a couwage to do him good. But nyow wetuwn, -And with t-theiw uWu faint wepwy this answew join: -Who x3 bates m-minye honyouw shaww *cuddles you* nyot knyow my coin. *sighs* Exit -SEWVANT. Excewwent! Youw wowdship's a g-goodwy viwwain. T-The deviw -knyew nyot w-what he did *teleports behind you* when *blushes* he made man powitic- he cwoss'd himsewf -by't; and I cannyot think but, in the end, the viwwainyies of man -w-wiww set him cweaw. H-How *moans* faiwwy this wowd stwives to a-appeaw fouw! -Takes viwtuous copies to *moans* be wicked, wike those *twerks* that undew hot -awdent zeaw wouwd set whowe weawms on fiwe. -Of such a nyatuwe is his powitic wove. -This was my *leans over* wowd's best hope; nyow aww awe fwed, -Save onwy the :3 gods. Nyow his fwiends awe UwU dead, -Doows that wewe nye'ew acquainted with t-theiw *giggles shyly* wawds -Many a bounteous yeaw must b-be empwoy'd -Nyow to guawd suwe >w< theiw mastew. -A-And this is a-aww a wibewaw couwse awwows: -Who cannyot keep his weawth must keep uWu his house. E-Exit - - - - -S-SCENyE IV. -A haww in TIMON'S house - -:33 Entew two *teleports behind you* Of :33 VAWWO'S MEN, meeting W-WUCIUS' SEWVANT, and othews, -*teleports behind you* aww being sewvants of TIMON's cweditows, to *shuffles closer* wait fow h-his *teleports behind you* coming o-out. ->_< Then entew *twerks* TITUS and HOWTENSIUS - -FIWST *moans* VAWWO'S *giggles shyly* SEWVANT. Weww met; good mowwow, Titus and Howtensius. -TITUS. The wike :33 to you, kind Vawwo. -HOWTENSIUS. Wucius! What, *cries* do w-we meet t-togethew? -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Ay, a-and I think onye businyess d-does command us *leans over* aww; -fow minye is monyey. -T-TITUS. So is theiws and ouws. - -Entew PHIWOTUS - -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. And Siw Phiwotus too! -PHIWOTUS. Good *sweats* day at once. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. wewcome, good bwothew, :3 what d-do you think the houw? -PHIWOTUS. Wabouwing fow nyinye. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. So m-much? -PHIWOTUS. Is nyot m-my wowd seen yet? -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Nyot *screams* yet. -PHIWOTUS. I-I wondew on't; *shuffles closer* he was wont to shinye at seven. -W-WUCIUS' SEWVANT. A-Ay, but the >_> days awe wax'd showtew with him; -You m-must c-considew that a pwodigaw couwse -Is wike the sun's, but nyot ^.^ wike h-his wecovewabwe. -I feaw -*pokes you* 'Tis d-deepest wintew >_< in W-Wowd Timon's ^.^ puwse; -That is, onye may *looks away* weach deep enyough and yet -F-Find wittwe. -PHIWOTUS. I ^-^ am o-of youw feaw fow that. -*hugs tightly* TITUS. I'ww show y-you how t' obsewve *giggles shyly* a stwange event. -Youw wowd sends >_> nyow fow monyey. -HOWTENSIUS. Most twue, he does. -TITUS. And he weaws jewews nyow of Timon's gift, -Fow w-which I wait fow monyey. -HOWTENSIUS. It is a-against uWu my ^.^ heawt. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Mawk how stwange it shows -Timon in this *cries* shouwd *screams* pay mowe *sighs* than h-he owes; -And e'en as if youw wowd *hugs tightly* shouwd weaw wich jewews -And send f-fow monyey fow 'em. ->_> HOWTENSIUS. I-I'm weawy of t-this chawge, the gods can witnyess; -I *cuddles you* knyow my wowd hath spent of Timon's weawth, -And nyow ingwatitude makes it wowse than *cuddles you* steawth. -FIWST V-VAWWO'S ^w^ SEWVANT. Yes, minye's t-thwee thousand :33 cwowns; what's -y-youws? -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Five thousand minye. -FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. 'Tis much deep; and i-it shouwd seem by th' -sum -*cuddles you* Youw mastew's confidence was above minye, -Ewse suwewy his had equaww'd. - -Entew FWAMINyIUS - -TITUS. Onye of Wowd Timon's men. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Fwaminyius! S-Siw, a wowd. Pway, ^-^ is my wowd weady to -come fowth? -FWAMINyIUS. N-Nyo, indeed, ^-^ he is nyot. -TITUS. We *sweats* attend *giggles shyly* his w-wowdship; pway s-signyify s-so much. -FWAMINyIUS. I nyeed nyot teww him that; he knyows you awe to diwigent. -Exit - -Entew F-FWAVIUS, in a >_> cwoak, muffwed - -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. H-Ha! Is *sighs* nyot that his stewawd muffwed so? -H-He goes away in a cwoud. *shuffles closer* Caww him, caww him. -TITUS. Do you heaw, siw? -SECOND V-VAWWO'S SEWVANT. By youw *shuffles closer* weave, siw. -FWAVIUS. What *screams* do ye ask *sighs* of me, my fwiend? -TITUS. We wait f-fow c-cewtain monyey hewe, x3 siw. -FWAVIUS. Ay, -If *screams* monyey w-wewe as cewtain as *looks at you* youw waiting, -'Twewe suwe enyough. -Why t-then pwefeww'd y-you nyot youw sums a-and :33 biwws -When youw fawse m-mastews eat uWu of my wowd's m-meat? -Then t-they couwd smiwe, ^w^ and fawn *giggles shyly* upon his debts, -uWu And t-take down th' int'west i-into theiw ^w^ gwutt'nyous maws. -*sighs* You x3 do youwsewves ;;w;; but wwong to stiw me up; -Wet me *sweats* pass *looks away* quietwy. -Bewieve't, my wowd and I have made *cuddles you* an >_< end: -*notices bulge* I have nyo mowe to weckon, *blushes* he to s-spend. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Ay, but t-this answew w-wiww nyot sewve. -*shuffles closer* FWAVIUS. I-If '-'twiww nyot UwU sewve, 'tis nyot so base x3 as you, -Fow you sewve knyaves. Exit -F-FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. >w< How! What does his cashiew'd w-wowship muttew? -^.^ SECOND xDD VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Nyo m-mattew what; he's poow, and that's -wevenge enyough. Who xDD can speak b-bwoadew than he that has nyo ;;w;; house -x3 to put his head UwU in? Such :33 may w-waiw :3 against gweat buiwdings. - -Entew S-SEWVIWIUS - -TITUS. O, *cries* hewe's Sewviwius; nyow we s-shaww knyow some answew. -S-SEWVIWIUS. If I might beseech you, *blushes* gentwemen, to wepaiw some othew -houw, I s-shouwd dewive much fwom't; fow take't ;;w;; of my souw, my wowd -weans wondwouswy to d-discontent. H-His comfowtabwe tempew has -fowsook him; h-he's *moans* much >_> out of heawth *looks away* and keeps UwU his chambew. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Many do OwO keep theiw chambews awe n-nyot *blushes* sick; -And if it be UwU so >_< faw beyond his h-heawth, -Methinks he shouwd t-the soonyew pay his debts, -*pokes you* And make a cweaw way to the gods. -SEWVIWIUS. Good gods! -TITUS. We cannyot take this f-fow answew, siw. ->_< FWAMINyIUS. [Within] Sewviwius, hewp! *blushes* My ^w^ wowd! my wowd! - -Entew TIMON, i-in a wage, *looks away* FWAMINyIUS fowwowing - -T-TIMON. What, awe *teleports behind you* my doows >_> oppos'd against m-my passage? -Have I been evew fwee, *twerks* and must my house -Be my *teleports behind you* wetentive enyemy, my *notices bulge* gaow? -^w^ The pwace which I have feasted, does it nyow, -Wike aww mankind, show me an iwon heawt? ->_> WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Put in nyow, Titus. -TITUS. My wowd, hewe is my biww. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Hewe's *sighs* minye. -H-HOWTENSIUS. A-And minye, my wowd. -B-BOTH VAWWO'S SEWVANTS. And ouws, my wowd. -PHIWOTUS. xDD Aww *teleports behind you* ouw biwws. -*blushes* TIMON. Knyock me down with 'em; cweave me to >_> the g-giwdwe. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. Awas, my ^w^ wowd- -T-TIMON. C-Cut my heawt >w< in sums. -TITUS. Minye, f-fifty tawents. -TIMON. Teww out my bwood. -WUCIUS' SEWVANT. F-Five thousand cwowns, my *twerks* wowd. -*moans* TIMON. F-Five thousand dwops pays that. What y-youws? and y-youws? -FIWST V-VAWWO'S SEWVANT. My wowd- -SECOND V-VAWWO'S >_> SEWVANT. M-My *cuddles you* wowd- -TIMON. T-Teaw me, t-take me, and ^-^ the gods faww upon you! *notices bulge* Exit -*moans* HOWTENSIUS. F-Faith, >_< I pewceive *leans over* ouw mastews may t-thwow theiw c-caps at -theiw monyey. These d-debts :33 may weww b-be caww'd despewate onyes, fow a-a -madman owes 'em. Exeunt - -We-entew TIMON and FWAVIUS - -T-TIMON. They have e'en put m-my bweath fwom me, the swaves. -Cweditows? Deviws! -FWAVIUS. M-My deaw w-wowd- -TIMON. What if it ^.^ shouwd be so? ->_< FWAMINyIUS. *leans over* My w-wowd- -T-TIMON. I'ww h-have it so. M-My stewawd! -FWAVIUS. Hewe, my wowd. -TIMON. S-So f-fitwy? Go, bid a-aww my f-fwiends a-again: -Wucius, Wucuwwus, and Sempwonyius- aww. -I'ww once m-mowe feast the wascaws. -FWAVIUS. O my w-wowd, -You onwy speak fwom youw distwacted *giggles shyly* souw; -Thewe is nyot so much weft to fuwnyish out -A modewate tabwe. -TIMON. Be it OwO nyot :33 in thy cawe. -Go, I chawge *cries* thee, invite them aww; wet in the tide -Of knyaves once mowe; my c-cook *blushes* and *looks at you* I'ww pwovide. *moans* Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -The Senyate House - -E-Entew thwee SENyATOWS at onye doow, AWCIBIADES meeting ^-^ them, with attendants - -FIWST x3 SENyATOW. My wowd, you have my voice to't: the f-fauwt's b-bwoody. -uWu 'Tis nyecessawy he shouwd die: -Nyothing embowdens *shuffles closer* sin so m-much >_< as mewcy. -SECOND SENyATOW. Most :3 twue; *giggles shyly* the waw shaww b-bwuise *teleports behind you* him. -AWCIBIADES. x3 Honyouw, heawth, a-and compassion, t-to the Senyate! -FIWST SENyATOW. Nyow, Captain? -AWCIBIADES. I am a-an h-humbwe s-suitow to youw *twerks* viwtues; -Fow *notices bulge* pity is the viwtue of the w-waw, -And nyonye but tywants *leans over* use it cwuewwy. -It p-pweases time and f-fowtunye to *sighs* wie heavy -U-Upon a fwiend of *screams* minye, who *giggles shyly* in hot OwO bwood -uWu Hath stepp'd into the waw, which is past depth -T-To those that without heed do pwunge ;;w;; into't. -He is a man, setting his f-fate aside, -Of *blushes* comewy viwtues; -Nyow did he soiw the f-fact with *giggles shyly* cowawdice- -An ^w^ honyouw in him which buys out his *looks away* fauwt- -But with a *teleports behind you* nyobwe fuwy and f-faiw spiwit, -UwU Seeing his weputation ^w^ touch'd to death, -He did oppose his f-foe; -And with ^w^ such sobew and unnyoted passion -He *moans* did behove his a-angew ewe 'twas spent, -x3 As if he had :33 but pwov'd *shuffles closer* an awgument. -FIWST x3 SENyATOW. You undewgo *teleports behind you* too stwict a-a pawadox, -Stwiving to make an ugwy deed wook faiw; -Youw wowds have took such p-pains as if they w-wabouw'd -To bwing m-manswaughtew into fowm and set -OwO Quawwewwing u-upon the *blushes* head of >_> vawouw; which, indeed, -Is vawouw misbegot, and came >w< into the *giggles shyly* wowwd -*cuddles you* When sects and *teleports behind you* factions wewe nyewwy bown. -He's *blushes* twuwy v-vawiant :3 that c-can ^.^ wisewy suffew -The wowst that m-man can *sweats* bweathe, -And make his wwongs his outsides, -To weaw them wike his waiment, cawewesswy, -And nye'ew pwefew his injuwies t-to his heawt, -To bwing it into *teleports behind you* dangew. -UwU If wwongs be eviws, and enfowce us xDD kiww, -What fowwy 'tis to hazawd w-wife fow i-iww! -AWCIBIADES. *hugs tightly* My wowd- -FIWST SENyATOW. Y-You cannyot make g-gwoss sins wook cweaw: -To wevenge is nyo v-vawouw, but to x3 beaw. -A-AWCIBIADES. My wowds, then, undew favouw, pawdon me -If I-I speak wike a c-captain: -Why do fond men expose themsewves to battwe, -A-And nyot enduwe aww thweats? *moans* Sweep upon't, -*giggles shyly* And wet the *teleports behind you* foes quietwy cut theiw thwoats, -Without wepugnyancy? If thewe be -Such vawouw in the beawing, w-what make we -Abwoad? Why, then, women awe mowe vawiant, -*twerks* That stay at home, i-if beawing cawwy it; -And xDD the ass mowe :3 captain than the wion; the fewwow -Woaden with iwons wisew t-than the judge, -If wisdom be in suffewing. O my wowds, -A-As you awe gweat, be p-pitifuwwy good. -Who cannyot condemn washnyess in cowd bwood? -To kiww, I gwant, is sin's extwemest g-gust; -But, in defence, by mewcy, >_< 'tis most just. -To ^-^ be in angew is impiety; -But who is man that is nyot angwy? -Weigh *notices bulge* but t-the cwime with t-this. -S-SECOND SENyATOW. You bweathe in vain. -AWCIBIADES. In vain! His s-sewvice *blushes* donye -A-At Wacedaemon and Byzantium ->_> Wewe a sufficient bwibew fow *leans over* his wife. -FIWST SENyATOW. W-What's that? -AWCIBIADES. *sweats* Why, I say, >_> my wowds, has donye faiw sewvice, -And swain *pokes you* in f-fight many of youw enyemies; -How fuww of vawouw did he beaw himsewf -In t-the wast confwict, and made pwenteous wounds! -SECOND SENyATOW. He has made too *hugs tightly* much pwenty with 'em. -He's a-a swown wiotew; he has *sweats* a sin that often -Dwowns him and t-takes *cries* his vawouw pwisonyew. -If thewe w-wewe *pokes you* nyo f-foes, that wewe *looks away* enyough -To ovewcome him. In that beastwy fuwy -*cries* He has been k-knyown to commit outwages -And chewish factions. *teleports behind you* 'Tis :3 infeww'd to us -*giggles shyly* His d-days awe fouw and his dwink dangewous. -FIWST SENyATOW. He dies. -A-AWCIBIADES. Hawd fate! He m-might x3 have died in waw. -My wowds, if nyot fow any :3 pawts in him- -x3 Though his wight awm might >_< puwchase his own >_< time, -A-And be in *screams* debt *teleports behind you* to nyonye- yet, mowe to move you, -Take my desewts to his, and join 'em b-both; -And, fow I k-knyow youw wevewend a-ages wove -S-Secuwity, I'ww p-pawn my *cries* victowies, aww -My honyouws t-to you, upon his *moans* good wetuwns. -*looks at you* If by this cwime he xDD owes t-the waw his :3 wife, -Why, wet the w-waw weceive't *looks at you* in vawiant gowe; -Fow waw is stwict, and waw is nyothing m-mowe. -FIWST S-SENyATOW. *notices bulge* We awe >_> fow waw: he dies. Uwge it nyo mowe -On height *twerks* of ouw dispweasuwe. Fwiend ow bwothew, -He fowfeits his own bwood that spiwws anyothew. -AWCIBIADES. Must i-it be so? I-It m-must nyot UwU be. My wowds, -I do beseech OwO you, knyow me. -SECOND SENyATOW. How! -AWCIBIADES. C-Caww me to youw wemembwances. -THIWD SENyATOW. W-What! -x3 AWCIBIADES. *screams* I *sighs* cannyot *sweats* think but *sweats* youw age has fowgot m-me; -*leans over* It couwd nyot ewse b-be I shouwd *notices bulge* pwove so base -To sue, and b-be denyied such common gwace. -My wounds ache at you. -FIWST >w< SENyATOW. Do you dawe ouw angew? -'Tis in few wowds, but s-spacious in *giggles shyly* effect: -*cuddles you* We b-banyish *twerks* thee fow >_> evew. -AWCIBIADES. Banyish me! -Banyish *teleports behind you* youw dotage! Banyish usuwy -*shuffles closer* That m-makes the Senyate ugwy. -FIWST S-SENyATOW. If aftew t-two days' shinye *twerks* Athens c-contain thee, -Attend ouw weightiew judgment. *shuffles closer* And, nyot t-to *sweats* sweww ouw spiwit, -He shaww be executed *twerks* pwesentwy. Exeunt SENyATOWS -AWCIBIADES. Nyow the gods keep ^-^ you owd enyough t-that you m-may *looks away* wive -Onwy in bonye, >w< that nyonye m-may wook on >_> you! -*teleports behind you* I'm wowse than *hugs tightly* mad; I have kept back theiw foes, -Whiwe they have towd theiw *sweats* monyey and wet out -Theiw coin upon wawge intewest, I m-mysewf -Wich UwU onwy in wawge huwts. A-Aww those fow t-this? -Is this the *blushes* bawsam that the usuwing Senyate -Pouws into captains' *sighs* wounds? Banyishment! -It comes nyot iww; I hate nyot to be banyish'd; -It is a-a *shuffles closer* cause wowthy *leans over* my s-spween and fuwy, -T-That I *blushes* may stwike at Athens. I'ww *sighs* cheew u-up -My discontented twoops, and *sweats* way fow heawts. -'Tis honyouw with most wands to be at odds; -Sowdiews shouwd bwook as *cuddles you* wittwe wwongs as gods. Exit - - - - -SCENyE VI. -^w^ A banqueting haww i-in T-TIMON'S house - -Music. Tabwes set out; sewvants a-attending. Entew divews WOWDS, -fwiends of ^-^ TIMON, at sevewaw ;;w;; doows - -FIWST *notices bulge* WOWD. *moans* The *pokes you* good t-time of day to you, siw. -^w^ SECOND WOWD. I awso wish it *looks away* to you. *pokes you* I think this honyouwabwe *sighs* wowd -did but ;;w;; twy us t-this othew day. -F-FIWST WOWD. Upon that wewe my thoughts tiwing when w-we encount'wed. -I *looks at you* hope it is ^.^ nyot s-so wow with him *looks at you* as :3 he m-made it seem in the twiaw -of his s-sevewaw fwiends. -SECOND WOWD. *cuddles you* It shouwd nyot be, >_< by >_< the pewsuasion of his nyew -feasting. -*looks at you* FIWST WOWD. I shouwd think so. *teleports behind you* He *sweats* hath sent me an eawnyest inviting, -which many my nyeaw occasions did uwge me to put off; but he hath -conjuw'd *looks away* me beyond them, and I must *leans over* nyeeds appeaw. -SECOND WOWD. xDD In wike mannyew OwO was I i-in debt to m-my impowtunyate -businyess, but he ;;w;; wouwd nyot h-heaw my *twerks* excuse. I am sowwy, when he -sent *sighs* to bowwow :33 of me, that my pwovision was out. -FIWST WOWD. I am *cuddles you* sick of that gwief too, as I undewstand *screams* how aww -t-things go. -SECOND WOWD. E-Evewy *looks at you* man hewe's so. What wouwd he have bowwowed of -you? -FIWST WOWD. A t-thousand OwO pieces. -;;w;; SECOND W-WOWD. A thousand pieces! -FIWST WOWD. What of you? -SECOND WOWD. *looks at you* He sent t-to OwO me, siw- hewe :3 he OwO comes. - -Entew TIMON and attendants - -TIMON. With aww my heawt, gentwemen :33 both! And h-how fawe y-you? -FIWST WOWD. Evew at the best, heawing *teleports behind you* weww *notices bulge* of youw wowdship. -SECOND WOWD. The s-swawwow fowwows nyot summew mowe wiwwing than we -youw w-wowdship. -T-TIMON. UwU [Aside] Nyow mowe wiwwingwy weaves wintew; such summew-biwds -awe UwU men- Gentwemen, *shuffles closer* ouw dinnyew wiww n-nyot wecompense this wong -s-stay; feast youw *sighs* eaws :33 with *teleports behind you* the >_< music awhiwe, if they wiww :33 fawe so -hawshwy o' th' twumpet's s-sound; we shaww to't pwesentwy. -FIWST WOWD. I hope it wemains nyot unkindwy with youw wowdship *blushes* that -I wetuwn'd you >_> an empty messengew. -TIMON. O siw, wet it nyot twoubwe you. -SECOND WOWD. M-My n-nyobwe wowd- -TIMON. Ah, my *cries* good fwiend, what cheew? -:33 SECOND WOWD. My most honyouwabwe wowd, I am e'en sick of shame that, -when *sighs* youw wowdship this othew day *blushes* sent to *moans* me, I was so -unfowtunyate a beggaw. -TIMON. Think nyot on't, s-siw. -SECOND WOWD. If you h-had sent but two h-houws befowe- -TIMON. Wet it nyot cumbew y-youw bettew wemembwance. [The banquet -*notices bulge* bwought in] *giggles shyly* Come, b-bwing in aww ^-^ togethew. -S-SECOND WOWD. Aww :3 covew'd dishes! -FIWST *looks at you* WOWD. Woyaw cheew, I wawwant you. -THIWD WOWD. *looks away* Doubt nyot *looks at you* that, if monyey a-and t-the season can yiewd it. -FIWST ;;w;; WOWD. How OwO do *hugs tightly* you? What's t-the nyews? -THIWD OwO WOWD. A-Awcibiades is banyish'd. Heaw *looks away* you of it? -FIWST AND SECOND WOWDS. Awcibiades banyish'd! -THIWD WOWD. 'Tis ^-^ so, b-be s-suwe *teleports behind you* of i-it. -FIWST *teleports behind you* WOWD. How? how? -SECOND WOWD. I pway you, upon what? -TIMON. M-My w-wowthy fwiends, wiww *pokes you* you dwaw n-nyeaw? -T-THIWD WOWD. I-I'ww teww you mowe anyon. Hewe's a nyobwe f-feast towawd. -SECOND *notices bulge* WOWD. This is the owd man stiww. -T-THIWD W-WOWD. Wiww't h-howd? Wiww't :3 howd? -SECOND WOWD. It >_< does; but time wiww- and so- -THIWD WOWD. ;;w;; I do c-conceive. -TIMON. Each m-man to ^w^ his ;;w;; stoow with t-that s-spuw as he wouwd to the wip -o-of his mistwess; youw diet shaww be in aww uWu pwaces awike. *teleports behind you* Make nyot -*screams* a *twerks* city feast o-of it, to wet *cuddles you* the m-meat coow e-ewe we can agwee u-upon -the fiwst pwace. Sit, sit. The *cries* gods wequiwe ouw thanks: - -You gweat benyefactows, spwinkwe ouw xDD society *leans over* with t-thankfuwnyess. -Fow ^w^ youw own gifts make youwsewves pwais'd; but wesewve stiww to -give, west youw uWu deities be despised. Wend to e-each man enyough, -t-that onye nyeed nyot *notices bulge* wend to anyothew; f-fow wewe youw god-heads to -bowwow of men, men wouwd fowsake the gods. Make :3 the meat be -bewoved mowe than t-the man that gives it. Wet nyo assembwy of -t-twenty be without a-a scowe of viwwains. If thewe sit t-twewve women -*hugs tightly* at the tabwe, wet a-a dozen x3 of t-them be- as they awe. The west *sighs* of -youw ;;w;; foes, O-O gods, the senyatows of *twerks* Athens, togethew w-with >w< the -*screams* common wag of peopwe, what UwU is amiss in them, you g-gods, make -suitabwe UwU fow destwuction. Fow these my pwesent fwiends, as they -awe t-to me xDD nyothing, so in nyothing *cuddles you* bwess them, and to nyothing awe -they wewcome. - -Uncovew, dogs, and wap. [The dishes awe uncovewed a-and -seen to he fuww of :33 wawm watew] -SOME SPEAK. What does his wowdship ^w^ mean? -SOME OTHEW. *blushes* I *teleports behind you* knyow nyot. -TIMON. ;;w;; May y-you a b-bettew feast nyevew behowd, -You knyot of mouth-fwiends! Smoke and wukewawm watew -Is youw pewfection. x3 This is ^-^ Timon's wast; -Who, :3 stuck and spangwed with y-youw fwattewies, -Washes it o-off, a-and spwinkwes in youw faces -[Thwowing *pokes you* the watew in theiw faces] -Youw weeking viwwainy. Wive woath'd and wong, -Most smiwing, smooth, detested pawasites, -C-Couwteous destwoyews, affabwe wowves, meek beaws, -*hugs tightly* You foows of f-fowtunye, t-twenchew fwiends, time's fwies, -Cap and knyee swaves, vapouws, and minyute-wacks! -Of man and beast *looks at you* the infinyite mawady -Cwust *leans over* you quite o'ew! What, dost thou go? -Soft, take thy physic >_< fiwst; thou too, and t-thou. -Stay, *hugs tightly* I wiww wend thee monyey, ^w^ bowwow nyonye. [Thwows t-the -dishes at them, and dwives them out] -W-What, aww in motion? Hencefowth be nyo feast -Wheweat *giggles shyly* a viwwain's n-nyot a wewcome guest. -Buwn house! >_> Sink xDD Athens! Hencefowth hated be -Of Timon *pokes you* man and aww h-humanyity! Exit - -We-entew the WOWDS - -*leans over* FIWST WOWD. How nyow, *pokes you* my *looks away* wowds! -SECOND WOWD. Knyow you the quawity of Wowd Timon's f-fuwy? -THIWD W-WOWD. Push! D-Did y-you see my cap? -FOUWTH WOWD. I *cuddles you* have *pokes you* wost my gown. -FIWST WOWD. He's but a m-mad wowd, *pokes you* and nyought *sweats* but humouws sways him. -He gave me a jewew th' othew d-day, a-and nyow he has beat it out of -my hat. Did *moans* you see my jewew? -THIWD WOWD. Did you see my cap? -SECOND WOWD. Hewe *twerks* 'tis. -FOUWTH W-WOWD. Hewe w-wies m-my g-gown. -FIWST WOWD. Wet's make n-nyo stay. -S-SECOND WOWD. *hugs tightly* Wowd Timon's *sighs* mad. -THIWD WOWD. I-I feew't upon my bonyes. -FOUWTH WOWD. Onye day he *notices bulge* gives us diamonds, nyext day stonyes. -Exeunt - - - - -<w< THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD T-TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -*cries* ACT IV. SCENyE I. -W-Without the wawws of A-Athens - ->_> Entew TIMON - -TIMON. Wet me wook back upon t-thee. O thou waww -^w^ That >_> giwdwes in those wowves, dive ^.^ in the eawth -A-And fence nyot A-Athens! Matwons, tuwn incontinyent. -O-Obedience, faiw i-in chiwdwen! Swaves and foows, -P-Pwuck *blushes* the gwave wwinkwed S-Senyate fwom the bench -*twerks* And minyistew in theiw steads. To g-genyewaw fiwths -Convewt, o' th' instant, gween viwginyity. -Do't ^.^ in youw p-pawents' eyes. Bankwupts, howd fast; -Wathew than wendew back, o-out w-with youw knyives -And cut youw twustews' thwoats. Bound sewvants, steaw: -Wawge-handed wobbews youw gwave mastews awe, -And piww by waw. Maid, *sweats* to *cuddles you* thy mastew's bed: -Thy mistwess is o-o' t-th' bwothew. S-Son of sixteen, -Pwuck t-the *notices bulge* win'd cwutch fwom thy OwO owd wimping siwe, -W-With it beat out :3 his bwains. Piety and feaw, -*screams* Wewigion to the g-gods, peace, justice, t-twuth, -Domestic awe, nyight-west, and nyeighbouwhood, -Instwuction, mannyews, mystewies, and twades, -D-Degwees, obsewvances, c-customs and waws, -Decwinye to youw confounding contwawies -And wet confusion wive. Pwagues incident to men, -Youw potent a-and infectious fevews heap -On Athens, wipe fow *screams* stwoke. Thou cowd sciatica, -Cwippwe ouw senyatows, that theiw wimbs may hawt -As wamewy as t-theiw mannyews. Wust and wibewty, -Cweep i-in the minds and mawwows of ouw youth, -That 'gainst the stweam of viwtue they *notices bulge* may stwive -And dwown themsewves in wiot. Itches, bwains, -Sow aww th' Athenyian bosoms, and theiw cwop -Be *looks away* genyewaw wepwosy! Bweath infect bweath, -That theiw society, as theiw fwiendship, >_< may -*moans* Be mewewy poison! Nyothing I'ww *notices bulge* beaw fwom thee -But nyakednyess, thou detestabwe town! -Take *giggles shyly* thou *sweats* that too, with muwtipwying bans. -Timon wiww to the woods, whewe he shaww find -Th' unkindest beast mowe kindew than mankind. -The gods confound- heaw me, you good gods aww- -*shuffles closer* The A-Athenyians both within and out that waww! -*cries* And gwant, as Timon gwows, his *leans over* hate m-may gwow -T-To t-the whowe wace of mankind, h-high *blushes* and wow! -Amen. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Athens. TIMON's house - -Entew FWAVIUS, w-with two ow thwee uWu SEWVANTS - -FIWST SEWVANT. Heaw you, M-Mastew Stewawd, whewe's ouw mastew? -Awe we undonye, cast off, nyothing wemainying? -FWAVIUS. Awack, my fewwows, what shouwd I say to you? -Wet m-me be ^.^ wecowded by the wighteous ;;w;; gods, -I a-am as poow as you. -FIWST SEWVANT. Such a house bwoke! -So nyobwe a mastew faww'n! Aww gonye, and nyot -Onye fwiend to take *notices bulge* his fowtunye by x3 the awm -And go awong with xDD him? -SECOND S-SEWVANT. As we do tuwn ouw backs -Fwom ouw c-companyion, t-thwown into h-his *twerks* gwave, -So his famiwiaws to his buwied *twerks* fowtunyes -*cuddles you* Swink aww a-away; weave theiw fawse vows with him, -Wike empty puwses p-pick'd; *screams* and his p-poow s-sewf, -A-A dedicated beggaw t-to the aiw, -With his disease of aww-shunn'd povewty, -Wawks, wike contempt, awonye. Mowe o-of ouw fewwows. - -Entew othew SEWVANTS - -FWAVIUS. Aww b-bwoken impwements of *cries* a wuin'd h-house. -T-THIWD SEWVANT. Yet d-do ouw heawts weaw Timon's wivewy; -That see I by *leans over* ouw faces. We awe fewwows stiww, -Sewving awike in sowwow. Weak'd OwO is ouw bawk; -*giggles shyly* And we, poow >w< mates, stand o-on xDD the dying deck, -Heawing the suwges thweat. We must aww pawt -Into this sea of x3 aiw. -FWAVIUS. Good f-fewwows a-aww, -The watest of my xDD weawth I-I'ww shawe amongst you. -Whewevew *shuffles closer* we shaww :3 meet, f-fow *moans* Timon's sake, -Wet's yet be fewwows; wet's shake ouw heads and UwU say, -As UwU 'twewe a knyeww unto ouw mastew's fowtunye, -'We have seen *sweats* bettew days.' Wet *looks away* each t-take some. -[Giving them monyey] -Nyay, p-put out a-aww UwU youw h-hands. Nyot onye wowd mowe! -Thus pawt we wich in *looks at you* sowwow, pawting poow. -[Embwace, and pawt sevewaw ways] -O the fiewce wwetchednyess *screams* that gwowy bwings us! -Who wouwd nyot wish to be fwom *cuddles you* weawth exempt, -Since w-wiches p-point to *teleports behind you* misewy and OwO contempt? -Who wouwd *looks at you* be so *twerks* mock'd with gwowy, ow t-to wive -But in a dweam of fwiendship, -*hugs tightly* To have his pomp, and aww what *shuffles closer* state compounds, -But onwy painted, *shuffles closer* wike his *cries* vawnyish'd *giggles shyly* fwiends? -Poow honyest wowd, bwought wow by his o-own heawt, -Undonye by goodnyess! Stwange, ^w^ unyusuaw bwood, -When man's wowst *looks at you* sin is *twerks* he does t-too much good! -Who then d-dawes to be :33 hawf s-so :3 kind *looks at you* again? -Fow bounty, OwO that makes gods, does stiww maw m-men. -My deawest wowd- bwest >_> to be most *looks away* accuwst, -Wich onwy t-to be w-wwetched- thy ^w^ gweat fowtunyes -Awe made thy chief affwictions. >_> Awas, kind wowd! -He's fwung in w-wage fwom this ingwatefuw xDD seat -Of *moans* monstwous fwiends; nyow x3 has he with him to -Suppwy his w-wife, ow t-that which >_> can command it. -I'ww fowwow and *shuffles closer* enquiwe him out. -I-I'ww evew sewve his mind with my best wiww; -W-Whiwst I have gowd, I'ww be his *blushes* stewawd stiww. Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -The woods nyeaw the sea-showe. Befowe T-TIMON'S cave - -Entew TIMON in the woods - -TIMON. O bwessed bweeding sun, dwaw fwom *screams* the eawth -Wotten *twerks* humidity; bewow thy sistew's :3 owb -Infect the aiw! Twinn'd bwothews of onye womb- -:3 Whose pwocweation, wesidence, *notices bulge* and b-biwth, -Scawce i-is dividant- *sighs* touch them with *sighs* sevewaw fowtunyes: -*looks at you* The gweatew scowns the wessew. Nyot nyatuwe, -To *twerks* whom aww sowes way siege, can beaw :3 gweat f-fowtunye -But by *hugs tightly* contempt *sighs* of nyatuwe. -Waise me this beggaw and deny't that wowd: -T-The senyatow s-shaww beaw c-contempt heweditawy, -The beggaw nyative h-honyouw. -It is the >_< pastuwe *looks at you* wawds the wothew's sides, -The w-want *twerks* that makes him wean. Who d-dawes, who *blushes* dawes, -:33 In puwity of manhood stand upwight, -And say 'This man's a f-fwattewew'? If onye >_> be, -S-So awe >_> they aww; fow evewy gwise *looks away* of fowtunye -Is smooth'd b-by t-that bewow. The *screams* weawnyed pate -Ducks to the gowden foow. Aww's obwique; -Thewe's n-nyothing wevew in o-ouw cuwsed nyatuwes -But diwect viwwainy. Thewefowe be abhoww'd -*pokes you* Aww ^.^ feasts, societies, and UwU thwongs of men! -His sembwabwe, y-yea, himsewf, Timon disdains. -*twerks* Destwuction fang mankind! Eawth, yiewd me w-woots. -[Digging] -Who seeks fow *notices bulge* bettew of uWu thee, sauce *screams* his pawate -With thy most opewant poison. What is hewe? -Gowd? Yewwow, >_> gwittewing, >_< pwecious gowd? Nyo, gods, -I am nyo idwe votawist. Woots, you c-cweaw OwO heavens! -Thus much of this wiww make bwack white, fouw faiw, -Wwong wight, b-base nyobwe, o-owd young, cowawd vawiant. -Ha, you gods! why this? What, this, you gods? Why, this -Wiww w-wug youw pwiests and sewvants fwom youw sides, -Pwuck UwU stout UwU men's xDD piwwows fwom bewow theiw heads- -This yewwow swave -Wiww knyit and bweak wewigions, bwess >_> th' accuws'd, -Make the hoaw wepwosy adow'd, pwace *blushes* thieves -And give them titwe, knyee, and appwobation, -With senyatows on the bench. T-This UwU is :3 it -That *twerks* makes the w-wappen'd widow wed again- -She whom the spitaw-house and uwcewous sowes -Wouwd cast the gowge at this embawms and spices -To th 'Apwiw day again. :33 Come, damn'd eawth, -Thou c-common whowe of mankind, t-that puts odds -Among the ^w^ wout of nyations, *sweats* I wiww make thee -Do thy x3 wight nyatuwe. [Mawch afaw off] -Ha! a dwum? Th'awt quick, -But >_> yet I'ww buwy thee. Thou't go, stwong thief, -When gouty keepews of thee cannyot >w< stand. -Nyay, s-stay t-thou *sighs* out *sweats* fow eawnyest. [Keeping some ^.^ gowd] - -Entew AWCIBIADES, with dwum and fife, in wawwike -mannyew; and PHWYNyIA *sweats* and TIMANDWA - -AWCIBIADES. What awt thou t-thewe? Speak. -TIMON. A beast, as t-thou *blushes* awt. The cankew gnyaw thy heawt -Fow *leans over* showing me again the *blushes* eyes of man! -AWCIBIADES. W-What xDD is thy nyame? I-Is man *hugs tightly* so hatefuw to thee -That awt thysewf a man? -TIMON. I a-am Misanthwopos, and hate mankind. -Fow thy pawt, I do *looks away* wish thou wewt a dog, -*blushes* That I might *hugs tightly* wove thee something. -AWCIBIADES. I knyow thee weww; -But in thy fowtunyes am unweawn'd and stwange. -TIMON. I knyow thee too; a-and mowe than *cuddles you* that I k-knyow t-thee -I nyot desiwe to knyow. F-Fowwow thy d-dwum; -With man's bwood paint the gwound, guwes, guwes. -*blushes* Wewigious canyons, civiw waws, awe cwuew; -T-Then what shouwd waw be? This feww whowe of thinye -Hath in hew mowe destwuction than t-thy swowd -Fow aww *shuffles closer* hew chewubin w-wook. -PHWYNyIA. Thy wips wot off! -TIMON. I wiww nyot kiss thee; then *looks at you* the wot wetuwns -To thinye own wips again. -*shuffles closer* AWCIBIADES. How *twerks* came the nyobwe *screams* Timon to this change? -TIMON. As the moon >_> does, by wanting wight to g-give. -But t-then wenyew I :3 couwd nyot, *giggles shyly* wike the m-moon; -Thewe wewe nyo suns :3 to bowwow o-of. -AWCIBIADES. N-Nyobwe Timon, -What *sighs* fwiendship may I do thee? -TIMON. Nyonye, but to -Maintain my *screams* opinyion. -AWCIBIADES. What *moans* is it, Timon? -TIMON. Pwomise me >_> fwiendship, *leans over* but pewfowm nyonye. If thou wiwt n-nyot -*looks away* pwomise, the gods pwague t-thee, fow *sighs* thou awt man! If *notices bulge* thou dost -pewfowm, c-confound thee, fow t-thou awt *moans* a man! -AWCIBIADES. I h-have heawd in some sowt o-of thy misewies. -TIMON. Thou saw'st them when I h-had pwospewity. -AWCIBIADES. I see them nyow; then was a bwessed time. -xDD TIMON. As thinye i-is nyow, hewd with a-a b-bwace of hawwots. -TIMANDWA. Is *giggles shyly* this th' Athenyian minyion w-whom the wowwd -Voic'd so wegawdfuwwy? -TIMON. A-Awt thou Timandwa? -T-TIMANDWA. *moans* Yes. -TIMON. Be a *twerks* whowe stiww; *leans over* they wove thee *blushes* nyot *giggles shyly* that use thee. -Give them diseases, weaving with thee ^.^ theiw w-wust. -*twerks* Make use of thy sawt houws. Season t-the swaves -Fow >_> tubs and baths; b-bwing down wose-cheek'd youth -To the tub-fast and the >_< diet. -TIMANDWA. H-Hang thee, OwO monstew! -A-AWCIBIADES. Pawdon him, s-sweet Timandwa, fow *leans over* his wits -Awe dwown'd and w-wost in >w< his cawamities. -I have but wittwe gowd of >_> wate, *giggles shyly* bwave Timon, -The *cuddles you* want wheweof doth daiwy m-make wevowt -I-In my penyuwious *cries* band. I have heawd, *looks away* and gwiev'd, -How >w< cuwsed uWu Athens, mindwess of thy wowth, -Fowgetting thy ^-^ gweat *leans over* deeds, when nyeighbouw states, -^w^ But fow thy s-swowd and fowtunye, twod *notices bulge* upon >_> them- -TIMON. *shuffles closer* I pwithee b-beat thy dwum and get thee gonye. -AWCIBIADES. *giggles shyly* I a-am thy fwiend, a-and pity t-thee, deaw Timon. -T-TIMON. How uWu dost thou pity him *leans over* whom thou dost t-twoubwe? -I had *screams* wathew *hugs tightly* be awonye. -AWCIBIADES. W-Why, fawe thee w-weww; -Hewe is some gowd ;;w;; fow thee. -TIMON. K-Keep it: I c-cannyot eat it. -AWCIBIADES. W-When I have waid p-pwoud A-Athens o-on *leans over* a heap- -TIMON. W-Waw'st thou 'gainst Athens? -xDD AWCIBIADES. Ay, >_< Timon, *looks at you* and have cause. -TIMON. The gods confound them aww in thy *moans* conquest; -And thee aftew, when thou hast conquew'd! -A-AWCIBIADES. Why me, UwU Timon? -TIMON. That xDD by kiwwing of viwwains -Thou wast bown to conquew :33 my countwy. -:33 Put up thy gowd. Go on. ;;w;; Hewe's gowd. Go o-on. -xDD Be a-as a pwanyetawy pwague, when Jove -Wiww ^-^ o'ew some high-vic'd city hang his poison -In the sick aiw; wet nyot thy swowd skip *sighs* onye. -*moans* Pity nyot honyouw'd age :3 fow his white beawd: -uWu He *twerks* is a-an usuwew. Stwike me the countewfeit x3 matwon: -It is hew habit onwy *cuddles you* that is honyest, -Hewsewf's a bawd. *cuddles you* Wet nyot the viwgin's cheek -Make soft thy *cuddles you* twenchant swowd; fow those miwk paps -That *blushes* thwough *screams* the window baws :33 bowe at men's eyes -Awe nyot UwU within the weaf *sweats* of pity wwit, -But set them UwU down howwibwe twaitows. Spawe nyot the babe -Whose dimpwed smiwes f-fwom foows exhaust theiw mewcy; -Think *twerks* it a bastawd whom the owacwe -Hath d-doubtfuwwy *screams* pwonyounc'd ^-^ thy t-thwoat shaww cut, -And mince it sans wemowse. *shuffles closer* Sweaw against ^w^ abjects; -P-Put awmouw on thinye eaws and o-on thinye eyes, -Whose pwoof n-nyow yewws o-of m-mothews, >w< maids, nyow babes, -Nyow sight of pwiests in howy vestments b-bweeding, -Shaww piewce :33 a jot. Thewe's gowd to pay thy sowdiews. -Make wawge confusion; and, >_> thy fuwy spent, -Confounded be thysewf! S-Speak n-nyot, be gonye. -AWCIBIADES. H-Hast thou gowd yet? *sweats* I'ww take the gowd thou givest me, -*notices bulge* Nyot a-aww thy counsew. -TIMON. xDD Dost t-thou, ow dost thou nyot, heaven's cuwse upon *leans over* thee! -PHWYNyIA AND TIMANDWA. Give us some gowd, good Timon. -^.^ Hast thou ^w^ mowe? -TIMON. Enyough to make a w-whowe fowsweaw hew twade, -And t-to make w-whowes a bawd. *twerks* Howd >w< up, you s-swuts, -Youw apwons mountant; you awe nyot o-oathabwe, -Awthough I knyow you'ww sweaw, tewwibwy *hugs tightly* sweaw, -Into s-stwong *notices bulge* shuddews a-and to *moans* heavenwy agues, -T-Th' immowtaw gods ;;w;; that heaw y-you. >w< Spawe *blushes* youw oaths; -I'ww twust to youw *teleports behind you* conditions. Be whowes stiww; -UwU And he w-whose pious bweath seeks t-to *looks away* convewt you- -*sweats* Be s-stwong in whowe, awwuwe him, buwn h-him up; -Wet youw cwose fiwe p-pwedominyate h-his smoke, -And be nyo tuwncoats. *notices bulge* Yet may youw pains six *shuffles closer* months -B-Be quite contwawy! And :3 thatch youw poow thin woofs -With buwdens of the dead- some that wewe hang'd, -N-Nyo mattew. W-Weaw them, betway with them. :3 Whowe stiww; -Paint tiww a howse UwU may miwe upon *giggles shyly* youw face. -;;w;; A p-pox o-of wwinkwes! -PHWYNyIA AND TIMANDWA. Weww, mowe g-gowd. What then? -Bewieve't that we'ww OwO do anything fow g-gowd. -TIMON. Consumptions sow -In howwow bonyes of man; stwike theiw shawp *giggles shyly* shins, -And maw m-men's spuwwing. Cwack ;;w;; the wawyew's voice, -That he may n-nyevew mowe fawse *sighs* titwe p-pwead, -Nyow sound his quiwwets shwiwwy. *giggles shyly* Hoaw the fwamen, -That scowds against *cuddles you* the quawity of fwesh -A-And *pokes you* nyot bewieves himsewf. Down with the nyose, -Down *leans over* with it *sighs* fwat, take the b-bwidge q-quite away -Of him that, his pawticuwaw to f-fowesee, -*looks at you* Smewws fwom the genyewaw weaw. Make cuww'd-pate wuffians bawd, -And wet the unscaww'd bwaggawts x3 of the waw -*hugs tightly* Dewive some pain *blushes* fwom you. Pwague a-aww, -That y-youw activity may defeat and *sweats* queww -The *looks away* souwce o-of aww :33 ewection. Thewe's mowe gowd. -D-Do you damn othews, and wet this damn you, -And ditches gwave you aww! -PHWYNyIA AND TIMANDWA. M-Mowe counsew with mowe m-monyey, bounteous ->_< Timon. -TIMON. Mowe w-whowe, mowe mischief fiwst; :3 I have given *looks away* you eawnyest. -:3 AWCIBIADES. Stwike up the d-dwum towawds Athens. Faweweww, Timon; -*moans* If I *pokes you* thwive weww, I'ww visit thee again. -TIMON. If I *teleports behind you* hope weww, I'ww nyevew see thee mowe. -AWCIBIADES. I nyevew did thee hawm. -TIMON. Yes, *looks away* thou spok'st weww of me. -*screams* AWCIBIADES. C-Caww'st thou that hawm? -TIMON. OwO Men daiwy f-find it. *screams* Get thee away, and t-take -Thy beagwes with ^w^ thee. -AWCIBIADES. *cries* We but offend him. Stwike. -Dwum beats. *shuffles closer* Exeunt aww but TIMON -TIMON. That nyatuwe, being sick of man's unkindnyess, -Shouwd yet be hungwy! Common m-mothew, thou, [Digging] -Whose womb unmeasuwabwe and infinyite bweast -Teems and f-feeds aww; whose sewf-same mettwe, -Wheweof thy pwoud c-chiwd, awwogant man, *looks away* is puff'd, -Engendews the bwack t-toad *screams* and addew b-bwue, -^w^ The giwded nyewt a-and eyewess venyom'd wowm, -With aww th' abhowwed biwths bewow cwisp heaven ->_> Wheweon Hypewion's q-quick'nying fiwe doth shinye- -Yiewd him, who aww thy human sons doth hate, -*screams* Fwom fowth t-thy pwenteous bosom, onye p-poow woot! -Enseaw thy fewtiwe and *screams* conceptious womb, -*twerks* Wet >w< it nyo m-mowe bwing out ingwatefuw man! -Go gweat with tigews, dwagons, wowves, a-and beaws; -Teem *blushes* with nyew monstews whom thy upwawd face -Hath to the mawbwed mansion aww above -Nyevew pwesented!- O, :3 a woot! Deaw thanks!- -Dwy up thy mawwows, vinyes, and pwough-town >_< weas, -Wheweof ingwatefuw man, w-with w-wiquowish dwaughts -And mowsews unctuous, gweases his puwe m-mind, -That f-fwom it :33 aww considewation swips- - -Entew *leans over* APEMANTUS - -Mowe man? Pwague, pwague! -APEMANTUS. *sighs* I :33 was diwected hithew. Men wepowt -Thou dost affect my mannyews and >w< dost use them. -UwU TIMON. 'Tis, >_< then, because thou dost nyot *blushes* keep a dog, -Whom :33 I wouwd imitate. Consumption catch *blushes* thee! -A-APEMANTUS. This is in thee a nyatuwe but infected, -A poow unmanwy mewanchowy spwung -*moans* Fwom change of fowtunye. Why this spade, this pwace? -This swave-wike h-habit a-and these wooks of cawe? -Thy *shuffles closer* fwattewews yet w-weaw siwk, d-dwink w-winye, wie soft, -Hug theiw *screams* diseas'd pewfumes, and have fowgot -That x3 evew UwU Timon :33 was. S-Shame nyot these woods -By putting o-on the cunnying of a cawpew. -Be ^-^ thou a fwattewew nyow, and seek to thwive -B-By that which has undonye thee: hinge t-thy knyee, -And wet his vewy bweath whom thou'wt obsewve -Bwow off thy cap; pwaise his m-most vicious stwain, -And caww it excewwent. Thou wast towd t-thus; -Thou xDD gav'st *giggles shyly* thinye UwU eaws, wike tapstews that bade wewcome, -To *teleports behind you* knyaves >w< and aww appwoachews. 'Tis m-most just -That thou tuwn w-wascaw; hadst thou weawth >w< again -Wascaws shouwd have't. *giggles shyly* Do >_< nyot assume my wikenyess. -TIMON. Wewe I wike thee, ^w^ I'd >w< thwow away OwO mysewf. -APEMANTUS. Thou h-hast cast a-away thysewf, *giggles shyly* being wike thysewf; -A madman so wong, *teleports behind you* nyow a foow. *leans over* What, *giggles shyly* think'st -*pokes you* That the bweak aiw, thy *notices bulge* boistewous chambewwain, -Wiww uWu put thy shiwt on wawm? Wiww these moist t-twees, -That *sweats* have outwiv'd the eagwe, page thy ^-^ heews -UwU And skip when thou point'st out? W-Wiww the cowd >_< bwook, -Candied with >_< ice, c-caudwe thy *screams* mownying taste -To cuwe thy o'ewnyight's suwfeit? Caww the cweatuwes -Whose nyaked nyatuwes wive OwO in aww the spite -Of wweakfuw heaven, whose bawe unhoused twunks, -To the confwicting ewements expos'd, -Answew mewe nyatuwe- bid them fwattew thee. -O-O, thou shawt find- -TIMON. A f-foow o-of t-thee. D-Depawt. -APEMANTUS. I wove thee bettew nyow than e'ew I did. -TIMON. *sighs* I ;;w;; hate thee *teleports behind you* wowse. -APEMANTUS. Why? -TIMON. Thou fwattew'st misewy. -*leans over* APEMANTUS. I fwattew nyot, but say thou *giggles shyly* awt *looks away* a caitiff. -TIMON. Why dost thou >_< seek me out? -APEMANTUS. xDD To vex thee. -TIMON. Awways a *screams* viwwain's office ow *moans* a foow's. -Dost *blushes* pwease thysewf in't? -*blushes* APEMANTUS. A-Ay. -TIMON. W-What, a-a knyave too? -APEMANTUS. If thou didst put *twerks* this souw-cowd h-habit o-on -To c-castigate thy pwide, 'twewe weww; but >w< thou -Dost it enfowcedwy. T-Thou'dst couwtiew UwU be again -Wewt thou nyot b-beggaw. Wiwwing misewy -Outwives incewtain pomp, is cwown'd :3 befowe. -The onye is fiwwing stiww, nyevew compwete; -The o-othew, at high w-wish. Best state, contentwess, -Hath a distwacted and *sweats* most wwetched being, -*leans over* Wowse t-than the w-wowst, c-content. -*hugs tightly* Thou shouwd'st desiwe to die, being misewabwe. -TIMON. Nyot by his bweath *twerks* that *cuddles you* is mowe misewabwe. -*twerks* Thou awt *teleports behind you* a *moans* swave whom F-Fowtunye's tendew awm -With favouw nyevew cwasp'd, but bwed a dog. -Hadst thou, *notices bulge* wike us fwom o-ouw uWu fiwst swath, pwoceeded -The sweet degwees that this bwief wowwd affowds -To s-such a-as may the passive dwugs of it -F-Fweewy command, thou *shuffles closer* wouwdst h-have *twerks* pwung'd thysewf -*cuddles you* In genyewaw wiot, mewted xDD down thy youth -In diffewent *pokes you* beds of wust, and nyevew ^w^ weawn'd -The *blushes* icy pwecepts *shuffles closer* of wespect, but fowwowed -The sug'wed game b-befowe thee. But mysewf, -W-Who had the wowwd as my confectionyawy; -T-The m-mouths, the tongues, the e-eyes, and heawts of men -At duty, mowe than I *looks at you* couwd fwame *cuddles you* empwoyment; -That nyumbewwess upon me stuck, as weaves -D-Do on the oak, have with onye wintew's bwush -Feww fwom theiw boughs, and weft me open, bawe -*twerks* Fow evewy stowm x3 that bwows- I *pokes you* to beaw *sweats* this, -That nyevew knyew *cuddles you* but bettew, *teleports behind you* is some b-buwden. -Thy nyatuwe did c-commence in suffewance; time -;;w;; Hath >_< made thee hawd in't. Why shouwdst t-thou hate men? -T-They nyevew fwattew'd thee. *notices bulge* What h-hast thou given? -If thou *shuffles closer* wiwt cuwse, thy fathew, that poow w-wag, -Must be thy subject; who, in s-spite, put stuff -*notices bulge* To *cuddles you* some *looks at you* she-beggaw a-and c-compounded thee -Poow wogue heweditawy. Hence, be gonye. -If thou hadst nyot been bown the *blushes* wowst of men, ->_< Thou hadst been a knyave a-and fwattewew. -APEMANTUS. Awt thou OwO pwoud yet? -TIMON. Ay, *giggles shyly* that I-I ^w^ am nyot t-thee. -APEMANTUS. I-I, that I was ->_< Nyo pwodigaw. -TIMON. I, that I am o-onye nyow. -Wewe aww t-the weawth I have s-shut up in thee, -I'd give thee weave to hang it. Get thee gonye. -That the whowe wife of Athens wewe in t-this! -Thus OwO wouwd I-I eat it. [Eating a *pokes you* woot] -APEMANTUS. Hewe! I wiww mend *giggles shyly* thy feast. -[Offewing him food] -TIMON. Fiwst mend *cries* my company: take away thysewf. -APEMANTUS. So I uWu shaww mend minye >w< own by th' wack o-of thinye. -*teleports behind you* TIMON. 'Tis *leans over* nyot weww m-mended so; it is but botch'd. -If nyot, I wouwd it wewe. -APEMANTUS. What wouwdst thou h-have to *cuddles you* Athens? -TIMON. Thee thithew in a whiwwwind. If *moans* thou wiwt, -Teww them thewe I-I have gowd; wook, so I have. -APEMANTUS. Hewe is nyo u-use fow gowd. -TIMON. The best a-and *sweats* twuest; -Fow hewe it sweeps and does nyo hiwed >w< hawm. -APEMANTUS. W-Whewe wiest a *notices bulge* nyights, Timon? -TIMON. Undew that's a-above *cuddles you* me. -Whewe feed'st thou a days, Apemantus? -*cuddles you* APEMANTUS. *notices bulge* Whewe my stomach. finds meat; ow wathew, whewe I-I eat it. -T-TIMON. Wouwd poison wewe obedient, and knyew my mind! -OwO APEMANTUS. Whewe wouwdst t-thou send it? -TIMON. To sauce t-thy dishes. -APEMANTUS. The m-middwe of humanyity thou nyevew k-knyewest, but the -extwemity of both ends. When t-thou w-wast in thy giwt a-and thy -pewfume, *notices bulge* they mock'd thee fow too much cuwiosity; in thy wags -thou knyow'st n-nyonye, but a-awt despis'd fow the contwawy. Thewe's a -medwaw fow thee; e-eat i-it. -TIMON. On what I hate I-I feed nyot. -APEMANTUS. Dost hate x3 a *twerks* medwaw? -TIMON. Ay, though i-it w-wook wike thee. -APEMANTUS. An th' hadst hated medwaws soonyew, thou shouwdst have -woved *blushes* thysewf bettew nyow. W-What man didst t-thou *sighs* evew ;;w;; knyow *giggles shyly* unthwift -that was bewoved aftew his means? -T-TIMON. Who, *moans* without *teleports behind you* those means thou tawk'st of, didst thou evew -knyow bewov'd? -APEMANTUS. Mysewf. -TIMON. I undewstand thee: thou hadst some means to keep a dog. -APEMANTUS. W-What things in uWu the w-wowwd canst thou nyeawest c-compawe to -thy fwattewews? -TIMON. Women nyeawest; but m-men, men awe the things themsewves. *hugs tightly* What -wouwdst thou do with the wowwd, Apemantus, *pokes you* if it way ;;w;; in thy -powew? -APEMANTUS. Give it the beasts, t-to be wid of :3 the *blushes* men. -T-TIMON. Wouwdst thou have thysewf *twerks* faww in the confusion o-of men, and -w-wemain *shuffles closer* a beast with the beasts? -APEMANTUS. Ay, T-Timon. -TIMON. A beastwy ambition, w-which the gods gwant thee t' attain to! -If thou wewt the wion, *twerks* the fox wouwd *cuddles you* beguiwe thee; if >_> thou wewt -the wamb, *notices bulge* the fox wouwd eat thee; i-if thou wewt >_< the UwU fox, the wion -^w^ wouwd suspect thee, when, pewadventuwe, thou wewt accus'd by the -ass. If t-thou wewt the ass, >_< thy duwnyess w-wouwd towment t-thee; uWu and -stiww thou wiv'dst *pokes you* but as a bweakfast to the wowf. If thou wewt -the >_< wowf, *cries* thy gweedinyess OwO wouwd affwict thee, *sweats* and oft thou -shouwdst hazawd thy wife fow thy dinnyew. Wewt thou the u-unyicown, -^.^ pwide and *looks at you* wwath wouwd confound thee, and *cries* make t-thinye own s-sewf the -conquest of thy f-fuwy. Wewt thou beaw, t-thou wouwdst be kiww'd b-by -the howse; wewt thou a h-howse, thou wouwdst b-be s-seiz'd b-by the -weopawd; wewt thou a weopawd, thou wewt gewman to *moans* the wion, and -the *teleports behind you* spots of thy kindwed wewe juwows on thy *twerks* wife. Aww thy safety -wewe wemotion, and thy defence a-absence. What ;;w;; beast couwdst thou -be *cries* that w-wewe nyot subject to a beast? And what beast a-awt t-thou -awweady, t-that seest nyot thy woss in twansfowmation! -APEMANTUS. *blushes* If thou couwdst pwease me with speaking to me, thou -mightst *moans* have hit upon it hewe. The commonweawth *moans* of Athens is -become *leans over* a fowest of beasts. -T-TIMON. How has the ass bwoke the waww, that thou a-awt *looks at you* out of t-the -city? -APEMANTUS. Yondew comes a poet and ^w^ a paintew. The pwague of company -wight upon thee! I wiww feaw to catch it, and give xDD way. When I -knyow nyot *sighs* what ewse to do, I'ww see thee again. -TIMON. When thewe uWu is nyothing *sweats* wiving but thee, thou shawt be -wewcome. I had wathew b-be a beggaw's dog than *shuffles closer* Apemantus. -APEMANTUS. Thou awt the cap of aww t-the :3 foows awive. -T-TIMON. Wouwd thou wewt cwean e-enyough to spit upon! -APEMANTUS. A pwague on t-thee! thou awt too bad *looks away* to cuwse. -TIMON. Aww ^.^ viwwains that do >_> stand by thee awe puwe. -APEMANTUS. T-Thewe is *hugs tightly* nyo wepwosy but what t-thou speak'st. -TIMON. If I n-nyame thee. -I'ww beat thee- but I shouwd infect my *looks at you* hands. -APEMANTUS. I wouwd m-my tongue c-couwd w-wot :33 them off! -TIMON. Away, thou >_> issue of a *shuffles closer* mangy dog! -xDD Chowew does kiww me that thou a-awt awive; -I *screams* swoon to see thee. -*sweats* APEMANTUS. Wouwd OwO thou wouwdst buwst! -TIMON. :3 Away, -Thou tedious w-wogue! I am *blushes* sowwy I s-shaww wose -A *looks away* stonye *looks at you* by thee. [Thwows a s-stonye at him] -APEMANTUS. Beast! -TIMON. Swave! -APEMANTUS. Toad! -*notices bulge* TIMON. Wogue, UwU wogue, :3 wogue! -I am sick UwU of t-this *pokes you* fawse wowwd, and wiww wove nyought -But even the mewe nyecessities u-upon't. -Then, Timon, pwesentwy pwepawe thy gwave; -Wie whewe the wight foam o-of the sea may beat -Thy gwavestonye daiwy; make thinye epitaph, -That death in me *notices bulge* at o-othews' wives may *sighs* waugh. -[Wooks a-at the gowd] O thou sweet king-kiwwew, and deaw divowce -'Twixt *cries* nyatuwaw son and siwe! ;;w;; thou bwight defiwew -O-Of Hymen's puwest bed! thou vawiant Maws! -Thou evew young, fwesh, wov'd, and dewicate ^-^ wooew, -Whose bwush doth thaw the consecwated snyow -That wies on Dian's ^.^ wap! thou visibwe *looks at you* god, -*sighs* That s-sowd'west *twerks* cwose impossibiwities, -And mak'st them ^-^ kiss! *cuddles you* that *sweats* speak'st with *twerks* evewy tongue -To evewy p-puwpose! O thou touch of ^w^ heawts! -Think thy swave man webews, a-and b-by *looks away* thy viwtue -Set t-them >_< into confounding odds, that beasts -May h-have the wowwd in x3 empiwe! -APEMANTUS. Wouwd 'twewe so! -But nyot t-tiww I a-am d-dead. I'ww say th' hast gowd. -*sighs* Thou w-wiwt OwO be thwong'd to showtwy. -TIMON. T-Thwong'd *cries* to? -APEMANTUS. Ay. -TIMON. Thy *cries* back, *screams* I pwithee. -APEMANTUS. Wive, a-and wove thy ;;w;; misewy! -TIMON. Wong wive *looks at you* so, and s-so die! *pokes you* [Exit APEMANTUS] I am q-quit. Mowe -t-things wike men? Eat, Timon, a-and a-abhow >_< them. - -Entew :33 the BANDITTI - -UwU FIWST BANDIT. Whewe shouwd he have this gowd? I-It is some *screams* poow -fwagment, some swendew owt of his wemaindew. The mewe want of -gowd and *leans over* the UwU fawwing-fwom of his fwiends dwove *looks at you* him i-into :33 this -mewanchowy. -SECOND BANDIT. *shuffles closer* It is nyois'd he hath a mass o-of t-tweasuwe. -THIWD *looks away* BANDIT. Wet us make the >_< assay upon him; if he cawe nyot fow't, -uWu he w-wiww OwO suppwy us easiwy; i-if he :3 covetouswy wesewve it, *cuddles you* how -shaww's get it? -S-SECOND BANDIT. Twue; f-fow ^-^ he b-beaws >w< it *teleports behind you* nyot about him. '-'Tis hid. -FIWST BANDIT. Is nyot this he? -BANDITTI. W-Whewe? -*moans* SECOND BANDIT. UwU 'Tis his descwiption. -THIWD BANDIT. He; I k-knyow OwO him. -BANDITTI. Save thee, T-Timon! -TIMON. Nyow, thieves? -BANDITTI. Sowdiews, ^w^ nyot thieves. -TIMON. Both too, and women's sons. -*cuddles you* BANDITTI. We awe nyot *giggles shyly* thieves, but men that *teleports behind you* much do want. -TIMON. Youw gweatest *looks at you* want is, you *blushes* want much of meat. -Why shouwd uWu you want? Behowd, the eawth *sweats* hath woots; -*cuddles you* Within t-this miwe bweak fowth a h-hundwed spwings; -The oaks beaw ^w^ mast, the *looks away* bwiaws scawwet h-hips; -T-The >_> bounteous housewife Nyatuwe on each bush -*sighs* Ways hew fuww m-mess befowe you. W-Want! Why want? -FIWST BANDIT. We cannyot x3 wive *teleports behind you* on xDD gwass, on *moans* bewwies, watew, -UwU As beasts and biwds and fishes. -TIMON. Nyow on the b-beasts themsewves, *pokes you* the >_< biwds, and fishes; -You m-must eat men. Yet thanks I must you con -That you awe thieves pwofess'd, that y-you wowk nyot -In howiew >w< shapes; fow thewe is boundwess theft -In wimited pwofessions. Wascaw thieves, -Hewe's g-gowd. Go, suck the UwU subtwe bwood o' t-th' gwape ->w< Tiww :33 the high fevew seethe youw bwood to fwoth, -And so *screams* scape hanging. T-Twust nyot the *notices bulge* physician; -*looks away* His antidotes awe poison, and he sways -Moe *giggles shyly* than you *looks at you* wob. Take w-weawth and w-wives togethew; -Do viwwainy, do, since *notices bulge* you pwotest to do't, -Wike wowkmen. I'ww exampwe you with thievewy: -The sun's a thief, and with his gweat attwaction -Wobs t-the vast sea; the moon's an awwant thief, -*cuddles you* And h-hew *sweats* pawe >_< fiwe she *giggles shyly* snyatches xDD fwom the sun; -T-The sea's a-a t-thief, >_< whose wiquid suwge wesowves -The m-moon into sawt *twerks* teaws; *sighs* the eawth's a thief, -That feeds and bweeds by a *sweats* compostuwe stow'n -Fwom *hugs tightly* gen'waw excwement- e-each thing's a thief. -The waws, youw cuwb and w-whip, in theiw *teleports behind you* wough p-powew -Has uncheck'd theft. Wove >_< nyot youwsewves; away, -*teleports behind you* Wob onye anyothew. Thewe's *giggles shyly* mowe gowd. Cut :33 thwoats; -Aww that you meet awe thieves. To Athens go, -*sweats* Bweak open s-shops; *cries* nyothing *looks at you* can you steaw -B-But thieves do wose it. Steaw nyot wess *moans* fow this -I give >w< you; and gowd confound you *pokes you* howsoe'ew! -Amen. -THIWD BANDIT. Has awmost chawm'd me fwom m-my pwofession b-by -pewsuading me to it. -FIWST BANDIT. 'Tis in the mawice of mankind that he thus advises -u-us; nyot to have us thwive in ouw mystewy. -SECOND BANDIT. I'ww *twerks* bewieve him a-as an enyemy, and give ovew my -twade. -FIWST BANDIT. Wet us f-fiwst *screams* see peace in Athens. Thewe i-is nyo time s-so -misewabwe but a-a man may be twue. *notices bulge* Exeunt THIEVES - -Entew F-FWAVIUS, to TIMON - -*notices bulge* FWAVIUS. *leans over* O you g-gods! -Is yond despis'd and wuinyous man m-my wowd? -Fuww *sweats* of decay a-and faiwing? O *hugs tightly* monyument -And wondew o-of good d-deeds eviwwy bestow'd! -What an awtewation of honyouw -^w^ Has desp'wate want made! -*sweats* What viwew *screams* thing ^.^ upon the eawth than fwiends, -Who can bwing nyobwest m-minds to basest ends! -How wawewy d-does it meet with this time's *notices bulge* guise, -*looks at you* When m-man was wish'd t-to wove his enyemies! -*looks away* Gwant I may evew wove, and wathew woo -Those that wouwd mischief me than those that *cries* do! -Has caught me in his eye; I wiww pwesent -My honyest gwief unto h-him, and as m-my w-wowd -*leans over* Stiww sewve him with m-my *hugs tightly* wife. My deawest mastew! -TIMON. uWu Away! What awt thou? -FWAVIUS. Have you *shuffles closer* fowgot me, siw? -TIMON. W-Why d-dost UwU ask that? I-I h-have fowgot aww men; -Then, if thou gwant'st th'awt *looks at you* a man, I have *hugs tightly* fowgot thee. -FWAVIUS. An honyest poow sewvant of youws. -TIMON. *teleports behind you* Then I knyow thee nyot. -I nyevew had honyest man a-about me, I. -Aww I k-kept wewe knyaves, to sewve *twerks* in meat *sweats* to v-viwwains. -FWAVIUS. The gods awe w-witnyess, -Nyev'w did poow stewawd weaw a twuew ^.^ gwief -Fow his undonye wowd than minye eyes fow you. -TIMON. What, dost t-thou w-weep? Come nyeawew. Then I-I wove thee -Because thou awt a woman a-and d-discwaim'st -Fwinty mankind, whose eyes do nyevew give -But thowough wust and waughtew. Pity's sweeping. -xDD Stwange times, that weep with waughing, nyot with w-weeping! -FWAVIUS. I beg of you to knyow me, good my wowd, -T-T' accept my gwief, and w-whiwst this *hugs tightly* poow weawth wasts -*sweats* To entewtain me as youw stewawd stiww. -TIMON. Had *screams* I a stewawd -So *looks at you* twue, so just, and nyow so comfowtabwe? -It awmost tuwns my dangewous nyatuwe miwd. -W-Wet me behowd thy face. Suwewy, this m-man -Was bown of woman. -Fowgive my genyewaw a-and exceptwess washnyess, -You pewpetuaw-sobew gods! I do pwocwaim -Onye h-honyest man- mistake me nyot, but onye; -Nyo mowe, I pway- and ^w^ he's a-a stewawd. -*cuddles you* How fain w-wouwd I have h-hated a-aww mankind! ->w< And thou wedeem'st thysewf. But aww, save thee, -I-I feww with c-cuwses. -uWu Methinks thou awt mowe h-honyest nyow than wise; -F-Fow by oppwessing and betwaying me -Thou mightst have soonyew *teleports behind you* got anyothew sewvice; -Fow many so awwive *blushes* at second mastews -^.^ Upon theiw ^-^ fiwst *teleports behind you* wowd's nyeck. But teww me twue, -Fow I must evew doubt though nye'ew so suwe, -I-Is nyot thy k-kindnyess subtwe, covetous, -If nyot a usuwing kindnyess, and as wich :33 men deaw *cuddles you* gifts, -Expecting in w-wetuwn twenty fow onye? -FWAVIUS. Nyo, my most wowthy *blushes* mastew, in w-whose bweast -Doubt and suspect, awas, awe pwac'd too wate! -*shuffles closer* You s-shouwd have feaw'd fawse times when *teleports behind you* you did feast: -Suspect s-stiww ^.^ comes whewe ^-^ an estate is weast. -That *screams* which I show, heaven knyows, *hugs tightly* is mewewy wove, -Duty, and zeaw, to youw unmatched mind, -Cawe of youw food and wiving; and bewieve i-it, -My most honyouw'd wowd, -Fow any benyefit xDD that points t-to me, -Eithew in xDD hope ow p-pwesent, I'd *hugs tightly* exchange -Fow this onye wish, that you had powew and weawth -To >_> wequite me by making wich youwsewf. -TIMON. Wook thee, 'tis so! Thou singwy honyest man, -Hewe, t-take. The g-gods, out of my misewy, -*screams* Have sent thee t-tweasuwe. >_> Go, wive wich *notices bulge* and h-happy, -B-But t-thus condition'd; thou shawt buiwd fwom men; -Hate aww, c-cuwse aww, uWu show chawity to nyonye, -But w-wet the famish'd fwesh *cuddles you* swide fwom the bonye -Ewe thou wewieve the beggaw. Give t-to dogs -What thou denyiest to men; wet pwisons swawwow '-'em, -Debts withew 'em to nyothing. Be men wike bwasted woods, -And may d-diseases wick up theiw fawse b-bwoods! -And so, faweweww and thwive. -F-FWAVIUS. O, wet me stay -And comfowt you, my mastew. -TIMON. If thou hat'st cuwses, -Stay nyot; xDD fwy w-whiwst thou awt bwest and fwee. -Nye'ew see t-thou man, and wet me n-nye'ew see thee. ->_> Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -<w< OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -A-ACT V-V. SCENyE *moans* I. -The w-woods. Befowe TIMON's *teleports behind you* cave - -UwU Entew POET and PAINTEW - -PAINTEW. As I took nyote of the p-pwace, it cannyot b-be f-faw whewe he -abides. -POET. to be thought of h-him? uWu Does the wumouw :3 howd fow twue that h-he's -so fuww of gowd? -PAINTEW. Cewtain. Awcibiades wepowts it; *cuddles you* Phwynyia and Timandwa *giggles shyly* had -gowd of *giggles shyly* him. He wikewise enwich'd poow stwaggwing OwO sowdiews with -gweat quantity. 'Tis said OwO he gave unto his stewawd a mighty sum. -*looks at you* POET. ;;w;; Then this bweaking of his has been but >_< a twy fow h-his fwiends? -PAINTEW. Nyothing ewse. You shaww see him a pawm in Athens *moans* again, -and fwouwish with the highest. Thewefowe 'tis nyot amiss we tendew -ouw woves to him in t-this x3 suppos'd distwess of his; it wiww show -honyestwy in us, a-and is vewy wikewy *cuddles you* to woad ouw puwposes with what -they twavaiw fow, *blushes* if *blushes* it be just and *notices bulge* twue wepowt that goes of his -having. -POET. What *notices bulge* have you nyow to pwesent unto h-him? -PAINTEW. Nyothing at this time but *blushes* my visitation; onwy *pokes you* I wiww -pwomise him >_< an excewwent p-piece. -*leans over* POET. *shuffles closer* I must sewve him >_> so too, *twerks* teww him *pokes you* of an i-intent that's :3 coming -towawd him. -PAINTEW. Good as the best. Pwomising is the vewy a-aiw *looks at you* o' th' ;;w;; time; -it opens the eyes of e-expectation. Pewfowmance is evew the duwwew -fow his act, and but in the pwainyew and simpwew k-kind of peopwe -the deed of *hugs tightly* saying is q-quite out of use. To pwomise is m-most -couwtwy and fashionyabwe; pewfowmance i-is a kind of *moans* wiww ow -testament which a-awgues a gweat sicknyess in his judgment that -makes it. - -Entew TIMON fwom his cave - -TIMON. [Aside] x3 Excewwent *sighs* wowkman! :3 Thou canst nyot p-paint a man so bad -as is thysewf. -*hugs tightly* POET. I am thinking what I shaww ;;w;; say I have pwovided fow him. >_> It -must be a pewsonyating of himsewf; a satiwe against the softnyess -*screams* of pwospewity, *hugs tightly* with *looks at you* a discovewy *pokes you* of the infinyite f-fwattewies that -fowwow youth and opuwency. -T-TIMON. [Aside] M-Must *twerks* thou ^-^ nyeeds stand >w< fow xDD a viwwain in thinye own -wowk? Wiwt thou w-whip thinye o-own fauwts in othew *notices bulge* men? Do so, I have -*hugs tightly* gowd *hugs tightly* fow t-thee. -POET. Nyay, *moans* wet's seek him; -Then do we sin against ouw own estate -When we may pwofit meet and come too wate. -*screams* PAINTEW. Twue; -When the day sewves, befowe bwack-cownyew'd n-nyight, -F-Find what *cries* thou want'st by fwee and offew'd wight. -*moans* Come. -*shuffles closer* TIMON. [Aside] I'ww meet you at the *leans over* tuwn. What a god's gowd, -That he is *giggles shyly* wowshipp'd *notices bulge* in a b-basew t-tempwe -*looks away* Than whewe swinye feed! -'Tis thou >_> that wig'st t-the bawk and p-pwough'st the foam, -Settwest admiwed wevewence in a swave. -To thee be w-wowship! and thy saints fow aye -Be cwown'd with *leans over* pwagues, t-that t-thee awonye obey! -Fit I meet them. [Advancing fwom his cave] -*cuddles you* POET. Haiw, wowthy Timon! -PAINTEW. *cuddles you* Ouw wate *giggles shyly* nyobwe mastew! -TIMON. Have I-I once wiv'd t-to see two honyest men? -POET. Siw, -Having often of youw open bounty tasted, -Heawing you wewe wetiw'd, youw *cries* fwiends faww'n off, -Whose thankwess nyatuwes- O-O abhowwed s-spiwits!- -Nyot aww the whips of h-heaven awe w-wawge e-enyough- -What! to >_< you, -W-Whose staw-wike nyobwenyess gave *giggles shyly* wife and infwuence -*pokes you* To theiw whowe being! I am wapt, and cannyot covew -The m-monstwous buwk of this ingwatitude -With any size of w-wowds. -TIMON. Wet it go nyaked: men may see't the bettew. -You *pokes you* that *leans over* awe *looks at you* honyest, b-by being what you awe, -Make them b-best seen and knyown. -PAINTEW. He and mysewf -*giggles shyly* Have twavaiw'd in the *pokes you* gweat show'w *sweats* of youw g-gifts, -A-And *screams* sweetwy fewt it. -TIMON. Ay, you awe honyest men. -P-PAINTEW. W-We awe *looks at you* hithew come to offew you ouw sewvice. -TIMON. Most honyest men! Why, how shaww I wequite you? -Can you eat :33 woots, and dwink cowd watew- Nyo? -BOTH. What we can d-do, we'ww do, to d-do you sewvice. -TIMON. Y'awe honyest men. Y'have h-heawd that I have *moans* gowd; -I *sighs* am suwe you have. Speak twuth; y'awe honyest >_< men. -PAINTEW. *sighs* So *cuddles you* it xDD is said, ^-^ my nyobwe wowd; b-but thewefowe -Came nyot my fwiend nyow I. -TIMON. Good honyest men! Thou dwaw'st a countewfeit -Best in aww *teleports behind you* Athens. Th'awt i-indeed the OwO best; -Thou countewfeit'st most wivewy. -PAINTEW. So, so, my wowd. -TIMON. E'en so, siw, as I say. [To To P-POET] And fow x3 thy fiction, ->w< Why, *moans* thy vewse swewws with s-stuff so finye and smooth -That thou awt even >_< nyatuwaw in thinye a-awt. -But fow aww this, my honyest-nyatuw'd fwiends, -I must nyeeds say you have *moans* a wittwe fauwt. -Mawwy, 'tis nyot m-monstwous *cuddles you* in you; nyeithew wish I -You *cries* take much pains to mend. -BOTH. Beseech youw honyouw -To make it knyown to us. -TIMON. You'ww take it iww. -BOTH. Most t-thankfuwwy, my *sweats* wowd. -TIMON. Wiww you indeed? -*sweats* BOTH. Doubt it nyot, wowthy wowd. -T-TIMON. Thewe's nyevew a *screams* onye of you but twusts a knyave -That mightiwy deceives you. -BOTH. Do we, my wowd? -TIMON. Ay, and you heaw him x3 cog, s-see him d-dissembwe, -*looks at you* Knyow his gwoss >_> patchewy, wove :33 him, *blushes* feed him, -Keep in UwU youw bosom; :3 yet wemain a-assuw'd -That he's a-a m-made-up viwwain. ->w< PAINTEW. I knyow nyot such, my wowd. -POET. Nyow I. -T-TIMON. W-Wook you, I wove you weww; I'ww give you gowd, -Wid me these viwwains fwom youw companyies. -H-Hang them ow stab them, dwown them in a dwaught, -Confound *sighs* them by >w< some couwse, and come to me, -I'ww give you gowd enyough. -OwO BOTH. Nyame *teleports behind you* them, my wowd; wet's *giggles shyly* knyow them. -TIMON. Y-You that way, and *screams* you t-this- but two in company; -Each man apawt, a-aww singwe and awonye, -Yet >w< an a-awch-viwwain keeps him c-company. -[To the PAINTEW] If, whewe thou awt, two viwwians shaww nyot be, -Come nyot :33 nyeaw *pokes you* him. [To the POET] If t-thou *blushes* wouwdst n-nyot weside -But whewe onye viwwain UwU is, then h-him abandon.- -Hence, p-pack! thewe's ^w^ gowd; you came fow gowd, ye swaves. -[To the PAINTEW] You have wowk fow :33 me; thewe's payment; hence! -[To the POET] Y-You awe an awchemist; make gowd of that.- -Out, wascaw *shuffles closer* dogs! [Beats and dwives them out] - -Entew FWAVIUS and two SENyATOWS - -:33 FWAVIUS. It is vain that you wouwd speak with Timon; -Fow he is set so o-onwy to himsewf -That n-nyothing but himsewf which wooks wike *twerks* man -Is fwiendwy with him. -FIWST S-SENyATOW. Bwing u-us to his cave. -It is *moans* ouw pawt and pwomise to th' A-Athenyians -*blushes* To *twerks* speak with Timon. -uWu SECOND SENyATOW. *screams* At *leans over* aww times awike -Men awe n-nyot stiww the same; 'twas time and gwiefs -That fwam'd him thus. ^.^ Time, with his faiwew hand, -Offewing the fowtunyes of his fowmew days, -The *sighs* fowmew *giggles shyly* man may *notices bulge* make him. B-Bwing us t-to him, -And chance it as it ^.^ may. -FWAVIUS. uWu Hewe is his cave. -Peace and content be hewe! ^-^ Wowd Timon! Timon! -^.^ Wook out, ;;w;; and speak to fwiends. Th' Athenyians -;;w;; By two of theiw most UwU wevewend OwO Senyate gweet thee. -*cries* Speak to t-them, nyobwe Timon. - -Entew TIMON out x3 of his cave - -TIMON. Thou sun t-that comfowts, buwn. S-Speak and be hang'd! -Fow xDD each twue wowd a *pokes you* bwistew, and each *blushes* fawse -Be a-as a cautewizing to ^w^ the *giggles shyly* woot o' *blushes* th' tongue, -C-Consuming it *pokes you* with speaking! -FIWST *shuffles closer* SENyATOW. Wowthy T-Timon- -TIMON. Of nyonye but such as you, and you uWu of Timon. -FIWST SENyATOW. The senyatows of Athens gweet thee, Timon. -TIMON. I thank >w< them; *sweats* and wouwd send t-them back the pwague, -:33 Couwd I but catch it fow *giggles shyly* them. -OwO FIWST S-SENyATOW. O, fowget -uWu What we awe *blushes* sowwy fow ouwsewves in t-thee. -The senyatows w-with onye consent of wove -Entweat t-thee back to Athens, who have thought -On speciaw dignyities, which *hugs tightly* vacant wie -Fow thy UwU best use and weawing. -SECOND SENyATOW. T-They confess -Towawd thee *blushes* fowgetfuwnyess too ^.^ genyewaw, gwoss; -Which nyow the pubwic body, >_< which doth sewdom -Pway the w-wecantew, feewing *looks at you* in itsewf -A wack o-of T-Timon's aid, *notices bulge* hath sense withaw -Of it *shuffles closer* own f-faiw, OwO westwainying aid to T-Timon, -And send fowth u-us *sighs* to m-make theiw sowwowed wendew, -T-Togethew w-with a wecompense mowe f-fwuitfuw -Than ^.^ theiw offence can weigh down :3 by *moans* the dwam; -Ay, even *hugs tightly* such *looks away* heaps *teleports behind you* and *pokes you* sums of wove and weawth -As *looks away* shaww t-to thee bwot out what wwongs :3 wewe t-theiws -And wwite in thee the figuwes *shuffles closer* of theiw wove, -Evew to *twerks* wead them *looks away* thinye. -TIMON. UwU You witch me in it; -Suwpwise me to the vewy b-bwink of teaws. -Wend me a foow's heawt and a woman's eyes, -A-And *pokes you* I'ww beweep these comfowts, w-wowthy *notices bulge* senyatows. -FIWST SENyATOW. Thewefowe so pwease thee to wetuwn *moans* with us, -A-And of ouw Athens, thinye and ouws, *twerks* to take -The captainship, :3 thou shawt be met uWu with thanks, -*looks away* Awwow'd with absowute ;;w;; powew, and thy good nyame -Wive with authowity. So soon we shaww >_> dwive back -Of Awcibiades th' appwoaches wiwd, -Who, *teleports behind you* wike a boaw too s-savage, doth woot *sweats* up -His *giggles shyly* countwy's peace. -SECOND >_< SENyATOW. And shakes his thweat'nying swowd -Against the wawws of Athens. -xDD FIWST SENyATOW. Thewefowe, x3 Timon- -TIMON. Weww, s-siw, I wiww. Thewefowe *cuddles you* I w-wiww, s-siw, thus: -If Awcibiades kiww my countwymen, -Wet Awcibiades knyow this of Timon, -That Timon cawes nyot. But if he >_> sack faiw Athens, -And t-take o-ouw goodwy aged men by th' beawds, -Giving ouw howy viwgins to t-the stain -Of contumewious, beastwy, mad-bwain'd waw, -Then wet him *shuffles closer* knyow- *cries* and teww him Timon speaks it -In pity of ouw aged a-and o-ouw youth- -I cannyot choose b-but teww him that I cawe nyot, -^w^ And wet him *looks at you* take't *pokes you* at wowst; :3 fow t-theiw k-knyives cawe nyot, -Whiwe you have thwoats to answew. Fow *cuddles you* mysewf, -Thewe's nyot a whittwe in th' unwuwy c-camp -But I *sweats* do pwize it ;;w;; at my wove befowe -The >w< wevewend'st thwoat in Athens. *sweats* So I w-weave you -To the pwotection of the pwospewous gods, -As thieves to keepews. -FWAVIUS. Stay nyot, aww's in vain. -TIMON. W-Why, I was wwiting of my epitaph; -I-It wiww be seen to-mowwow. My wong sicknyess -Of heawth and wiving nyow begins UwU to *hugs tightly* mend, -A-And nyothing bwings me aww things. G-Go, wive stiww; -Be Awcibiades youw pwague, you his, -And wast so wong enyough! -FIWST SENyATOW. We speak in vain. -TIMON. But yet I wove my countwy, and am nyot -O-Onye that *sweats* wejoices in the common wweck, -As c-common bwuit doth put i-it. -FIWST SENyATOW. That's weww spoke. -TIMON. *twerks* Commend me to my woving ^w^ countwymen- -F-FIWST SENyATOW. These wowds become youw ^w^ wips as they pass thwough -them. -SECOND S-SENyATOW. And entew in ouw eaws w-wike gweat twiumphews -In theiw *screams* appwauding xDD gates. -TIMON. Commend x3 me *leans over* to them, -A-And teww them t-that, t-to ease them of theiw ^.^ gwiefs, -Theiw feaws of hostiwe stwokes, theiw aches, wosses, -Theiw *blushes* pangs of wove, with othew incident thwoes ->w< That nyatuwe's fwagiwe v-vessew doth sustain -In wife's OwO uncewtain voyage, I wiww some kindnyess do t-them- -I'ww teach *looks away* them to pwevent wiwd Awcibiades' wwath. -FIWST SENyATOW. I wike *cries* this weww; he :3 wiww wetuwn again. -TIMON. I have a twee, which gwows hewe in m-my cwose, -That minye own use invites me *sweats* to c-cut *screams* down, -And showtwy must I feww it. Teww *cuddles you* my fwiends, -Teww Athens, i-in the sequence o-of degwee -Fwom high t-to wow thwoughout, that whoso pwease -To stop affwiction, wet him take *looks at you* his haste, -Come hithew, e-ewe >w< my twee h-hath fewt the axe, -And *moans* hang himsewf. I pway you do m-my gweeting. -FWAVIUS. Twoubwe him ^w^ nyo fuwthew; thus you stiww shaww find him. -T-TIMON. Come nyot to me again; but *teleports behind you* say to Athens -Timon hath made *sweats* his :3 evewwasting mansion -Upon the beached vewge of the sawt fwood, -Who once a day with his embossed fwoth -The tuwbuwent suwge *cuddles you* shaww covew. Thithew come, -And ^.^ wet my gwavestonye be youw owacwe. -Wips, >_< wet *leans over* souw wowds go by and wanguage end: -What is amiss, pwague and infection :33 mend! -G-Gwaves o-onwy be *moans* men's wowks >_> and *shuffles closer* death theiw gain! -Sun, hide thy b-beams. Timon hath donye his w-weign. -Exit *blushes* TIMON into his cave -FIWST SENyATOW. His discontents awe unwemovabwy -Coupwed to n-nyatuwe. -x3 SECOND SENyATOW. Ouw hope in him is dead. Wet us OwO wetuwn -And stwain what othew m-means is w-weft unto us -*pokes you* In ouw deaw p-pewiw. -FIWST SENyATOW. It *screams* wequiwes swift foot. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Befowe *notices bulge* the wawws of UwU Athens - -Entew OwO two othew SENyATOWS with a MESSENGEW - -FIWST S-SENyATOW. Thou hast painfuwwy discovew'd; awe his fiwes -As *teleports behind you* fuww as thy wepowt? -MESSENGEW. I-I have *notices bulge* spoke ^-^ the weast. -Besides, his :33 expedition p-pwomises -Pwesent appwoach. -SECOND SENyATOW. We stand much ^.^ hazawd if they bwing nyot Timon. -MESSENGEW. I met a c-couwiew, onye minye ancient *looks away* fwiend, -W-Whom, though i-in genyewaw pawt we w-wewe oppos'd, -Yet ouw owd wove had a pawticuwaw fowce, -And made *twerks* us speak *notices bulge* wike fwiends. This man was widing -Fwom >_< Awcibiades to Timon's cave -With wettews of >w< entweaty, w-which impowted -His f-fewwowship i' th' cause against youw city, -In pawt fow his sake m-mov'd. - -E-Entew the othew SENyATOWS, fwom TIMON - -FIWST SENyATOW. Hewe come o-ouw b-bwothews. -T-THIWD *looks at you* SENyATOW. *looks away* Nyo tawk of Timon, nyothing of him expect. -^w^ The enyemies' OwO dwum is *hugs tightly* heawd, and f-feawfuw scouwing -D-Doth choke the aiw w-with dust. In, and pwepawe. -Ouws is *cries* the faww, I ^.^ feaw; ouw foes the snyawe. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -The *blushes* TIMON's *teleports behind you* cave, and a w-wude tomb seen - -Entew a SOWDIEW in the woods, seeking T-TIMON - -SOWDIEW. B-By aww descwiption this shouwd be the >w< pwace. -Who's h-hewe? *teleports behind you* Speak, ho! N-Nyo *leans over* answew? What is this? -Timon is ;;w;; dead, who hath outstwetch'd OwO his span. -Some beast weaw'd uWu this; hewe does n-nyot wive a man. -Dead, suwe; and this h-his gwave. What's *teleports behind you* on this tomb -I cannyot wead; the chawactew I'ww take with wax. -^.^ Ouw captain hath i-in xDD evewy UwU figuwe skiww, -An ag'd intewpwetew, though :33 young in days; -Befowe pwoud A-Athens he's set down by *giggles shyly* this, -Whose faww *sweats* the *sweats* mawk of h-his ambition i-is. Exit - - - - -*leans over* SCENyE IV. -uWu Befowe the wawws of Athens - -Twumpets sound. Entew AWCIBIADES with his powews befowe Athens - -AWCIBIADES. S-Sound to this cowawd and wascivious town -Ouw tewwibwe appwoach. - -Sound a p-pawwey. The SENyATOWS appeaw upon the wawws - -Tiww nyow you have gonye on >_> and fiww'd the time -With aww *giggles shyly* wicentious measuwe, m-making youw wiwws -The scope of justice; tiww nyow, mysewf, a-and s-such -As x3 swept within the shadow of youw powew, -*giggles shyly* Have wandew'd *moans* with *leans over* ouw twavews'd awms, and bweath'd -Ouw s-suffewance vainwy. Nyow :3 the time *leans over* is fwush, -When cwouching mawwow, in the beawew stwong, -Cwies of itsewf :33 'Nyo mowe!' N-Nyow bweathwess wwong -Shaww UwU sit and p-pant in youw gweat *cuddles you* chaiws of ease, -A-And *moans* puwsy insowence shaww bweak his wind -With feaw and ^.^ howwid *twerks* fwight. -F-FIWST >_> SENyATOW. Nyobwe and y-young, -When thy fiwst gwiefs wewe x3 but a mewe conceit, -Ewe thou hadst ^-^ powew ow :33 we *pokes you* had cause *leans over* of feaw, -We sent to thee, to give thy wages bawm, -To wipe *blushes* out xDD ouw ingwatitude with woves -:3 Above theiw *cries* quantity. -SECOND SENyATOW. So did we woo -Twansfowmed Timon to ouw *teleports behind you* city's wove -By humbwe message >_< and by ;;w;; pwomis'd means. -We wewe *screams* nyot aww unkind, nyow a-aww desewve -The common stwoke of OwO waw. -FIWST OwO SENyATOW. T-These w-wawws of *looks away* ouws -*moans* Wewe x3 nyot ewected UwU by theiw hands fwom whom -You have w-weceiv'd youw gwiefs; nyow awe they such -That these gweat UwU tow'ws, twophies, and *leans over* schoows, shouwd faww -Fow p-pwivate fauwts in them. -S-SECOND SENyATOW. Nyow awe they wiving -Who *cuddles you* wewe the motives *cries* that you fiwst went out; -*cries* Shame, that t-they ^.^ wanted cunnying, in excess -Hath b-bwoke theiw heawts. Mawch, nyobwe *hugs tightly* wowd, -Into ouw city >_> with thy b-bannyews spwead. -*sighs* By decimation and a tithed death- -If thy wevenges hungew fow *hugs tightly* that food -Which nyatuwe woathes- take thou the >w< destin'd *shuffles closer* tenth, -And by the hazawd of :33 the spotted die -Wet die t-the spotted. -*hugs tightly* FIWST *leans over* SENyATOW. Aww *sighs* have nyot offended; -Fow those that *sweats* wewe, it is >w< nyot squawe >w< to take, -*cuddles you* On those that a-awe, wevenge: cwimes, *pokes you* wike wands, -Awe nyot inhewited. Then, deaw countwyman, -Bwing *sweats* in t-thy w-wanks, but weave w-without thy wage; -*hugs tightly* Spawe thy Athenyian cwadwe, a-and those kin -Which, in the bwustew of thy wwath, must faww -W-With those that have offended. Wike a shephewd -Appwoach the fowd and cuww ^-^ th' infected fowth, -x3 But kiww nyot aww togethew. -SECOND SENyATOW. What thou wiwt, -Thou wathew s-shawt enfowce it with t-thy *cuddles you* smiwe -Than hew to't w-with thy s-swowd. -FIWST SENyATOW. Set but thy *cuddles you* foot -Against ouw wampiw'd gates *teleports behind you* and they shaww o-ope, -So x3 thou wiwt send thy gentwe heawt befowe -To say thou't e-entew fwiendwy. -SECOND SENyATOW. Thwow *moans* thy gwove, -O-Ow any token of thinye ^w^ honyouw ewse, -That thou wiwt use the waws as thy wedwess -And nyot as ouw ^w^ confusion, aww *twerks* thy powews -Shaww :3 make theiw hawbouw in ouw town tiww we -Have seaw'd thy f-fuww desiwe. -AWCIBIADES. Then thewe's my gwove; -*sweats* Descend, *twerks* and o-open youw unchawged *cuddles you* powts. -Those e-enyemies of Timon's and minye o-own, -*notices bulge* Whom you *hugs tightly* youwsewves shaww set out fow wepwoof, -Faww, and nyo mowe. And, to atonye youw feaws -With my *screams* mowe nyobwe meanying, nyot a man -Shaww *hugs tightly* pass his quawtew ow offend the stweam -Of weguwaw justice in youw city's bounds, -But *teleports behind you* shaww b-be wendew'd to youw pubwic waws -At heaviest answew. -BOTH. *teleports behind you* 'Tis most nyobwy spoken. -AWCIBIADES. Descend, and keep *sweats* youw wowds. -[The SENyATOWS *moans* descend and open the gates] - -Entew a S-SOWDIEW as a >_< Messengew - -SOWDIEW. My nyobwe Genyewaw, T-Timon is dead; -Entomb'd upon the v-vewy hem o' th' sea; -And on >_> his gwave-stonye xDD this inscuwptuwe, which -W-With wax I bwought *blushes* away, w-whose soft impwession -Intewpwets fow my poow ignyowance. - -*sweats* AWCIBIADES weads *cuddles you* the Epitaph - -'Hewe wies a w-wwetched cowse, of wwetched souw beweft; -Seek nyot m-my nyame. *blushes* A pwague consume you wicked caitiffs weft! -Hewe wie I, Timon, who >_< awive ;;w;; aww *twerks* wiving *notices bulge* men did hate. -*hugs tightly* Pass by, and cuwse *teleports behind you* thy fiww; but pass, and stay nyot *pokes you* hewe thy -g-gait.' -These weww expwess i-in t-thee t-thy wattew spiwits. -T-Though thou a-abhoww'dst in us ouw h-human gwiefs, -Scown'dst ouw bwain's fwow, and t-those ouw dwopwets *leans over* which -Fwom nyiggawd nyatuwe faww, yet wich conceit -Taught thee t-to ^w^ make vast Nyeptunye x3 weep fow aye -On thy wow gwave, on >_> fauwts fowgiven. Dead -Is ;;w;; nyobwe Timon, of whose m-memowy -*hugs tightly* Heweaftew mowe. Bwing me i-into youw >w< city, -And I wiww use OwO the o-owive, with m-my swowd; -Make waw bweed peace, make peace s-stint waw, ^-^ make each -Pwescwibe uWu to othew, as e-each othew's weech. -*pokes you* Wet ouw dwums stwike. Exeunt - -THE *screams* END - - - -:33 <> - - - - - -1594 - -*sweats* THE TWAGEDY OF TITUS ANDWONyICUS - -b-by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis P-Pewsonyae - -SATUWNyINyUS, s-son to t-the wate Empewow of Wome, aftewwawds *blushes* Empewow -BASSIANyUS, bwothew to Satuwnyinyus -TITUS ANDWONyICUS, a nyobwe Woman -MAWCUS ANDWONyICUS, Twibunye of >w< the Peopwe, and bwothew t-to Titus - -Sons to Titus A-Andwonyicus: -W-WUCIUS -QUINTUS -xDD MAWTIUS -*pokes you* MUTIUS - -YOUNG WUCIUS, a boy, son to Wucius -PUBWIUS, son to Mawcus Andwonyicus - -Kinsmen to Titus: -SEMPWONyIUS -CAIUS -VAWENTINyE - -AEMIWIUS, a nyobwe Woman - -Sons to *cries* Tamowa: -AWAWBUS -D-DEMETWIUS -CHIWON - -AAWON, a-a M-Moow, bewoved OwO by *teleports behind you* Tamowa -A CAPTAIN -A MESSENGEW -A-A CWOWN - -TAMOWA, Queen uWu of the Goths -WAVINyIA, daughtew t-to ^w^ Titus Andwonyicus -A NyUWSE, a-and a bwack CHIWD - -Womans and Goths, Senyatows, Twibunyes, Officews, S-Sowdiews, and -Attendants - - - - -<> - - - -SCENyE: -Wome a-and the OwO nyeighbouwhood - - -ACT 1. SCENyE OwO I. -Wome. B-Befowe the Capitow - -Fwouwish. Entew the UwU TWIBUNyES and SENyATOWS awoft; and then entew bewow -SATUWNyINyUS and his fowwowews at onye doow, and BASSIANyUS >_< and *twerks* his fowwowews -at the othew, with dwums and twumpets - -SATUWNyINyUS. *cuddles you* Nyobwe patwicians, patwons of *sweats* my w-wight, -Defend UwU the justice of m-my OwO cause w-with awms; -And, countwymen, my woving fowwowews, -Pwead my successive :3 titwe with youw *leans over* swowds. -I am his fiwst bown s-son that *moans* was the wast -T-That wawe the i-impewiaw diadem of Wome; -Then wet my fathew's honyouws wive *cuddles you* in me, -Nyow w-wwong minye age with this indignyity. -BASSIANyUS. Womans, ^.^ fwiends, fowwowews, favouwews of my wight, -If e-evew Bassianyus, Caesaw's son, -Wewe gwacious i-in the eyes of w-woyaw Wome, -Keep then this passage ^.^ to the Capitow; -And suffew ^-^ nyot dishonyouw to appwoach -The i-impewiaw seat, to viwtue x3 consecwate, -To justice, continyence, and n-nyobiwity; -But wet desewt in puwe ewection shinye; -And, W-Womans, fight fow fweedom in youw *cuddles you* choice. - -Entew MAWCUS ANDWONyICUS awoft, with :3 the cwown - -M-MAWCUS. Pwinces, that stwive by factions and by fwiends -Ambitiouswy fow w-wuwe and empewy, -^w^ Knyow uWu that t-the *blushes* peopwe of Wome, OwO fow whom w-we stand -A-A speciaw *sighs* pawty, *blushes* have by common voice -In ewection fow the Woman empewy -*leans over* Chosen Andwonyicus, s-suwnyamed P-Pius -F-Fow many good and g-gweat *pokes you* desewts to Wome. -A nyobwew m-man, a bwavew wawwiow, -W-Wives nyot this day within the city wawws. -He by the *hugs tightly* Senyate is accited x3 home, -Fwom weawy waws against t-the bawbawous Goths, -*sighs* That with his s-sons, a-a tewwow to *cries* ouw foes, -uWu Hath yok'd :33 a nyation stwong, twain'd up in awms. -Ten yeaws awe spent since f-fiwst he *teleports behind you* undewtook -This >_< cause of Wome, *pokes you* and c-chastised with awms -Ouw ^-^ enyemies' pwide; five *moans* times he >_< hath wetuwn'd -Bweeding to W-Wome, beawing h-his vawiant s-sons -I-In coffins fwom the fiewd; a-and at this day -To xDD the *looks at you* monyument o-of that Andwonyici -Donye sacwifice *moans* of *teleports behind you* expiation, -And swain the nyobwest *sighs* pwisonyew of the Goths. -And nyow at wast, waden with h-honyouw's spoiws, -Wetuwns the good Andwonyicus to *shuffles closer* Wome, -Wenyownyed T-Titus, fwouwishing in awms. -Wet us entweat, b-by honyouw of his *twerks* nyame -xDD Whom w-wowthiwy you wouwd have nyow succeed, -And in the Capitow and Senyate's wight, -Whom you pwetend *sighs* to h-honyouw a-and adowe, -That you withdwaw you and a-abate youw stwength, -Dismiss youw fowwowews, and, as suitows shouwd, -*hugs tightly* Pwead youw desewts i-in peace and humbwenyess. -SATUWNyINyUS. How faiw *notices bulge* the Twibunye speaks to c-cawm my thoughts. -*giggles shyly* BASSIANyUS. *teleports behind you* Mawcus *blushes* Andwonyicus, so I do affy -In thy upwightnyess and integwity, -And s-so I wove UwU and *pokes you* honyouw >_> thee and thinye, -Thy nyobwe bwothew Titus and his sons, -And hew to whom *giggles shyly* my thoughts awe humbwed aww, -*looks at you* Gwacious Wavinyia, Wome's wich ownyament, -*leans over* That I wiww hewe dismiss my woving fwiends, -And to m-my f-fowtunyes and the ;;w;; peopwe's favouw -Commit my cause in bawance to be weigh'd. -E-Exeunt the sowdiews of B-BASSIANyUS -SATUWNyINyUS. Fwiends, that have b-been thus *pokes you* fowwawd in my *blushes* wight, ->_< I thank you aww and hewe *notices bulge* dismiss you aww, -And to the wove *hugs tightly* and favouw of m-my countwy -Commit mysewf, my pewson, a-and the cause. -:33 Exeunt >w< the *screams* sowdiews of SATUWNyINyUS -Wome, be as just a-and gwacious unto me -As *giggles shyly* I am *leans over* confident a-and kind to thee. -Open the g-gates and wet me in. -B-BASSIANyUS. Twibunyes, and me, *hugs tightly* a :33 poow competitow. -*shuffles closer* [Fwouwish. They go up *cuddles you* into the *screams* Senyate House] - -Entew a CAPTAIN - ->_< CAPTAIN. Womans, make way. T-The good Andwonyicus, -OwO Patwon of viwtue, Wome's b-best champion, -S-Successfuw in the b-battwes >_< that he fights, -With honyouw and with fowtunye is wetuwn'd -Fwom whewe he ciwcumscwibed UwU with his swowd -And bwought to yoke the enyemies of *looks at you* Wome. - -Sound dwums and twumpets, and t-then entew MAWTIUS -and MUTIUS, two of TITUS' sons; and then t-two men -b-beawing a coffin covewed with bwack; then WUCIUS -a-and QUINTUS, two othew sons; then *hugs tightly* TITUS ANDWONyICUS; -a-and t-then ^w^ TAMOWA the Queen of Goths, with hew OwO thwee -sons, A-AWAWBUS, DEMETWIUS, *notices bulge* and CHIWON, with AAWON the -Moow, and othews, as many as can b-be. Then set d-down -the coffin and xDD TITUS s-speaks - -T-TITUS. Haiw, W-Wome, >_> victowious in x3 thy mouwnying weeds! -Wo, *pokes you* as t-the bawk that h-hath dischawg'd *screams* hew *cries* fwaught -*cries* Wetuwns with pwecious wading ^.^ to the bay -Fwom *pokes you* whence at fiwst she weigh'd OwO hew anchowage, -Cometh Andwonyicus, bound w-with wauwew boughs, -To w-we-sawute his OwO countwy with his t-teaws, -Teaws of twue joy fow *twerks* his wetuwn to W-Wome. -Thou gweat defendew of this Capitow, -Stand gwacious to the wites that we intend! -Womans, of five and twenty vawiant sons, -Hawf o-of the nyumbew that *teleports behind you* King Pwiam h-had, -Behowd the poow wemains, awive ;;w;; and dead! -These that suwvive wet Wome wewawd *cuddles you* with wove; -These that I bwing unto theiw w-watest home, -With buwiaw amongst theiw :33 ancestows. -Hewe G-Goths have given me weave t-to :33 sheathe my s-swowd. -Titus, *looks away* unkind, and c-cawewess of thinye own, -Why suffew'st t-thou t-thy sons, unbuwied yet, -*sighs* To hovew on the dweadfuw showe of Styx? -Make way to way t-them by theiw bwethwen. -[They open the *sweats* tomb] -Thewe gweet in siwence, as t-the dead *looks away* awe wont, -And sweep in *hugs tightly* peace, swain i-in y-youw countwy's waws. -O sacwed >_> weceptacwe of my joys, -Sweet ceww of viwtue and nyobiwity, -How x3 many sons hast thou of minye in stowe -That :33 thou wiwt nyevew w-wendew to me mowe! -*shuffles closer* WUCIUS. Give us the pwoudest p-pwisonyew of the Goths, -T-That we may hew his wimbs, and on a p-piwe -Ad manyes fwatwum s-sacwifice h-his fwesh -Befowe this eawthy pwison of theiw bonyes, -That so the s-shadows be nyot unyappeas'd, -Nyow we distuwb'd with pwodigies on e-eawth. -TITUS. I give him y-you- the nyobwest that suwvives, -The ewdest xDD son of this ^-^ distwessed q-queen. -TAMOWA. Stay, W-Woman bwethen! Gwacious conquewow, -V-Victowious Titus, *moans* wue t-the teaws I shed, -A mothew's teaws *moans* in *screams* passion f-fow h-hew son; -A-And if thy sons >w< wewe evew deaw to thee, -O, *looks away* think my son to be as *screams* deaw *cries* to me! -Sufficeth nyot that w-we awe bwought to :3 Wome -To b-beautify thy twiumphs, and wetuwn -Captive to :33 thee and to thy Woman yoke; -*leans over* But must my >_> sons be UwU swaughtewed in the *cries* stweets -Fow vawiant doings in theiw countwy's *teleports behind you* cause? -O, *looks at you* if to fight fow *hugs tightly* king and c-commonweaw -Wewe piety in t-thinye, it is in t-these. -Andwonyicus, stain nyot *cuddles you* thy tomb with ;;w;; bwood. -Wiwt thou dwaw nyeaw the *cuddles you* nyatuwe of t-the gods? -Dwaw *leans over* nyeaw them then in being mewcifuw. -Sweet mewcy is nyobiwity's *teleports behind you* twue badge. -Thwice-nyobwe >_> Titus, :33 spawe my >w< fiwst-bown son. -TITUS. Patient *leans over* youwsewf, m-madam, and pawdon me. -These awe t-theiw bwethwen, whom *blushes* youw Goths behewd -Awive and dead; and fow theiw ^.^ bwethwen swain -Wewigiouswy they ask a sacwifice. -To t-this youw son i-is mawk'd, and die he must -T' *shuffles closer* appease theiw gwoanying shadows that awe gonye. -WUCIUS. A-Away with him, and make a fiwe stwaight; -And with ouw swowds, upon a p-piwe of w-wood, -Wet's hew his w-wimbs tiww they *sweats* be cwean consum'd. -Exeunt TITUS' SONS, with UwU AWAWBUS -TAMOWA. O cwuew, iwwewigious piety! -CHIWON. Was nyevew *looks away* Scythia hawf so b-bawbawous! -DEMETWIUS. Oppose nyot Scythia to a-ambitious Wome. -*hugs tightly* Awawbus x3 goes to w-west, >w< and we s-suwvive ->w< To *looks at you* twembwe undew *sighs* Titus' thweat'nying w-wook. -T-Then, madam, stand w-wesowv'd, *teleports behind you* but hope withaw -The s-sewf-same gods that awm'd the Queen >_> of Twoy -With oppowtunyity of shawp w-wevenge -Upon t-the Thwacian tywant in his tent -May favouw Tamowa, the Queen of Goths- -When Goths wewe G-Goths and *sighs* Tamowa was queen- -To quit the *hugs tightly* bwoody wwongs *twerks* upon :33 hew foes. - -We-entew W-WUCIUS, QUINTUS, UwU MAWTIUS, and -MUTIUS, the sons of ANDWONyICUS, with t-theiw swowds bwoody - -WUCIUS. S-See, wowd and fathew, how w-we have pewfowm'd -Ouw Woman wites: *pokes you* Awawbus' wimbs awe wopp'd, -And entwaiws feed the sacwificing fiwe, -W-Whose smoke wike i-incense doth pewfume the ^-^ sky. -Wemainyeth uWu nyought but to i-intew ouw bwethwen, -And with woud '-'wawums wewcome them to Wome. -T-TITUS. *giggles shyly* Wet it be so, and wet *twerks* Andwonyicus -Make this his watest faweweww to >_< theiw souws. -[-[Sound twumpets *teleports behind you* and way the coffin i-in the tomb] -I-In peace and *blushes* honyouw west you hewe, my sons; -W-Wome's weadiest c-champions, wepose y-you hewe ;;w;; in w-west, -Secuwe *teleports behind you* fwom x3 wowwdwy chances and mishaps! -Hewe wuwks *teleports behind you* nyo t-tweason, hewe nyo envy s-swewws, -Hewe gwow nyo damnyed dwugs, hewe awe uWu nyo stowms, -Nyo nyoise, but siwence and etewnyaw sweep. -I-In peace *giggles shyly* and *twerks* honyouw *giggles shyly* west you hewe, my sons! - -E-Entew *blushes* WAVINyIA - -x3 WAVINyIA. In peace and *looks away* honyouw wive Wowd T-Titus xDD wong; -My nyobwe wowd and fathew, wive *notices bulge* in fame! -Wo, ^.^ at this tomb my *leans over* twibutawy *screams* teaws -;;w;; I *moans* wendew *sighs* fow m-my bwethwen's obsequies; -And xDD at thy feet I knyeew, with teaws of joy -Shed on t-this eawth fow thy wetuwn UwU to Wome. -O, bwess m-me hewe with thy *blushes* victowious ^.^ hand, -*pokes you* Whose fowtunyes Wome's best citizens a-appwaud! -TITUS. Kind W-Wome, *leans over* that hast t-thus wovingwy wesewv'd -The cowdiaw of minye age to g-gwad my heawt! -Wavinyia, wive; outwive thy fathew's days, -*shuffles closer* And fame's etewnyaw *giggles shyly* date, fow :3 viwtue's pwaise! - -Entew, >w< above, MAWCUS ANDWONyICUS and TWIBUNyES; -w-we-entew ;;w;; SATUWNyINyUS, BASSIANyUS, and attendants - -MAWCUS. *twerks* Wong wive Wowd Titus, m-my bewoved *teleports behind you* bwothew, -Gwacious twiumphew in the eyes of W-Wome! -TITUS. T-Thanks, gentwe Twibunye, nyobwe bwothew Mawcus. -^.^ MAWCUS. A-And wewcome, nyephews, *giggles shyly* fwom successfuw waws, -You that suwvive a-and you that *leans over* sweep in fame. -:33 Faiw wowds, *pokes you* youw fowtunyes *cuddles you* awe awike in aww -That ^.^ in youw countwy's sewvice dwew *hugs tightly* youw s-swowds; -But s-safew twiumph is t-this funyewaw pomp -That hath aspiw'd to Sowon's happinyess -And twiumphs ovew chance in :33 honyouw's bed. -Titus Andwonyicus, the peopwe of Wome, -Whose *shuffles closer* fwiend in justice thou hast evew been, -Send thee by me, theiw Twibunye and theiw t-twust, -T-This paw]iament of white *cries* and spotwess hue; -And nyame thee in ewection fow t-the e-empiwe -With these ouw wate-deceased Empewow's sons: -Be candidatus then, and put it *cuddles you* on, -And hewp ^-^ to set a head o-on headwess Wome. -TITUS. A bettew >w< head uWu hew gwowious body *giggles shyly* fits -Than his that shakes fow age and feebwenyess. -What shouwd I don t-this wobe a-and twoubwe *pokes you* you? -*hugs tightly* Be chosen *teleports behind you* with pwocwamations to-day, -*hugs tightly* To-mowwow yiewd up wuwe, wesign my ;;w;; wife, -And set abwoad nyew businyess f-fow you aww? -Wome, I-I have been thy sowdiew fowty yeaws, -And wed my countwy's stwength successfuwwy, -And buwied onye and twenty vawiant sons, -*shuffles closer* Knyighted i-in fiewd, swain manfuwwy in awms, -In wight and sewvice :33 of theiw nyobwe c-countwy. -Give me a staff o-of honyouw fow minye age, -But nyot a-a sceptwe to contwow the *moans* wowwd. -Upwight ^.^ he h-hewd it, >_< wowds, that hewd it *looks at you* wast. -MAWCUS. Titus, thou shawt obtain a-and ask the empewy. -*teleports behind you* SATUWNyINyUS. Pwoud *looks at you* and ambitious Twibunye, c-canst thou teww? -TITUS. *hugs tightly* Patience, P-Pwince Satuwnyinyus. -SATUWNyINyUS. Womans, d-do me wight. -P-Patwicians, dwaw youw swowds, and sheathe them nyot -Tiww Satuwnyinyus be W-Wome's Empewow. -Andwonyicus, wouwd thou uWu wewe shipp'd to heww -Wathew than wob ^w^ me of ^.^ the peopwe's heawts! -x3 WUCIUS. Pwoud Satuwnyinye, intewwuptew of t-the good -That nyobwe-minded Titus m-means to thee! -TITUS. Content thee, Pwince; I-I wiww westowe to thee -*twerks* The peopwe's heawts, and w-wean them fwom themsewves. -BASSIANyUS. A-Andwonyicus, I do nyot fwattew t-thee, -But honyouw *notices bulge* thee, a-and wiww do t-tiww I die. -My faction if thou stwengthen *looks at you* with thy fwiends, -I wiww most t-thankfuw *sweats* be; and *leans over* thanks to men -Of nyobwe minds is ^-^ honyouwabwe meed. -TITUS. P-Peopwe of Wome, and peopwe's Twibunyes hewe, -I-I ask youw voices and youw suffwages: -Wiww ye bestow them ^.^ fwiendwy *sweats* on A-Andwonyicus? -TWIBUNyES. T-To *sighs* gwatify the good Andwonyicus, -And gwatuwate his s-safe wetuwn to W-Wome, -The ^-^ peopwe wiww accept whom *looks away* he admits. -TITUS. Twibunyes, I thank you; and this suit I make, -That y-you cweate ouw Empewow's ewdest son, -Wowd Satuwnyinye; *looks at you* whose viwtues wiww, I hope, -Wefwect on Wome *looks at you* as Titan's *notices bulge* ways on e-eawth, -And wipen j-justice in this commonweaw. -Then, if you *shuffles closer* wiww ewect by my advice, -Cwown h-him, and say 'Wong wive ouw Empewow!' -MAWCUS. With voices and appwause of OwO evewy *shuffles closer* sowt, -Patwicians *cries* and pwebeians, *notices bulge* we cweate -Wowd Satuwnyinyus :33 Wome's g-gweat E-Empewow; -And say *screams* 'Wong wive *sighs* ouw Empewow Satuwnyinye!' -[A wong fwouwish tiww they come down] -SATUWNyINyUS. Titus *blushes* Andwonyicus, fow thy favouws donye -To us in ouw ewection :3 this day -I give t-thee thanks in pawt of thy desewts, -And wiww with deeds wequite thy gentwenyess; -And UwU fow an onset, Titus, to *screams* advance -*pokes you* Thy nyame and honyouwabwe famiwy, -Wavinyia wiww I-I m-make my empewess, -Wome's *hugs tightly* woyaw mistwess, mistwess of my heawt, -A-And *looks away* in the sacwed *cries* Pantheon hew espouse. -^.^ Teww me, Andwonyicus, doth this m-motion pwease thee? -TITUS. It doth, my wowthy wowd, and *notices bulge* in this match -I-I howd me highwy honyouwed :33 of youw Gwace, -And hewe in s-sight of Wome, to *moans* Satuwnyinye, -King and commandew of o-ouw commonweaw, -The wide wowwd's Empewow, do I consecwate -*cries* My swowd, my chawiot, and my pwisonyews, -Pwesents weww wowthy W-Wome's >_< impewious wowd; -Weceive them t-then, the twibute that I-I owe, -*pokes you* Minye >_< honyouw's ensigns h-humbwed *teleports behind you* at thy feet. -;;w;; SATUWNyINyUS. Thanks, nyobwe Titus, fathew of my *cuddles you* wife. -H-How *hugs tightly* pwoud I am of t-thee and of thy gifts -Wome ^-^ shaww wecowd; a-and when I do *screams* fowget -The *sweats* weast of these unspeakabwe desewts, -Womans, fowget >w< youw feawty ^w^ to me. -TITUS. [To TAMOWA] N-Nyow, madam, awe you pwisonyew to an empewow; -To him *notices bulge* that fow youw honyouw a-and youw state -W-Wiww *screams* use you nyobwy and youw fowwowews. -SATUWNyINyUS. [Aside] A goodwy w-wady, t-twust me; of t-the hue -That I-I wouwd choose, wewe I to choose a-anyew.- -C-Cweaw u-up, faiw *sighs* Queen, that cwoudy countenyance; -Though chance of waw hath wwought t-this c-change xDD of cheew, -*giggles shyly* Thou com'st nyot t-to be made a-a scown in Wome- -P-Pwincewy shaww be *twerks* thy usage evewy *teleports behind you* way. -West on my wowd, *cries* and wet nyot discontent -Daunt aww youw hopes. >w< Madam, he comfowts *shuffles closer* you -*cuddles you* Can make you gweatew than the Queen of Goths. -Wavinyia, you awe nyot dispweas'd with this? -WAVINyIA. Nyot I, ;;w;; my wowd, s-sith twue nyobiwity -:33 Wawwants these wowds i-in p-pwincewy >w< couwtesy. -SATUWNyINyUS. Thanks, sweet Wavinyia. Womans, w-wet us go. -Wansomwess hewe we set ouw p-pwisonyews uWu fwee. -Pwocwaim :33 ouw honyouws, wowds, with twump a-and dwum. -*moans* [Fwouwish] -B-BASSIANyUS. Wowd Titus, by youw ^-^ weave, this maid is minye. -[Seizing WAVINyIA] -TITUS. How, siw! Awe you in eawnyest then, m-my wowd? -BASSIANyUS. Ay, nyobwe T-Titus, and wesowv'd withaw -T-To do *blushes* mysewf this >_< weason a-and this wight. -:33 MAWCUS. Suum cuique *teleports behind you* is ouw Woman justice: -T-This pwince x3 in *giggles shyly* justice seizeth *looks at you* but his own. -WUCIUS. And that he wiww and s-shaww, if Wucius wive. -*looks away* TITUS. Twaitows, avaunt! Whewe is the Empewow's guawd? -Tweason, my ;;w;; wowd- Wavinyia is suwpwis'd! -S-SATUWNyINyUS. S-Suwpwis'd! By whom? -BASSIANyUS. By him t-that j-justwy may -Beaw *hugs tightly* his betwoth'd fwom aww the wowwd away. -Exeunt BASSIANyUS and MAWCUS with WAVINyIA -MUTIUS. B-Bwothews, h-hewp t-to convey h-hew hence away, -And with m-my swowd I'ww k-keep this doow >_> safe. -Exeunt WUCIUS, QUINTUS, and >_< MAWTIUS -TITUS. F-Fowwow, my wowd, and I'ww soon bwing hew back. -MUTIUS. UwU My wowd, you *sighs* pass nyot hewe. -TITUS. What, viwwain boy! -Baw'st me my *hugs tightly* way in Wome? -MUTIUS. Hewp, x3 Wucius, hewp! -T-TITUS kiwws him. Duwing xDD the fway, e-exeunt SATUWNyINyUS, -TAMOWA, DEMETWIUS, CHIWON, and AAWON - -We-entew Wucius - -WUCIUS. My wowd, *screams* you awe :3 unjust, *hugs tightly* and mowe than so: -In wwongfuw quawwew you have *shuffles closer* swain ;;w;; youw son. -*hugs tightly* TITUS. Nyow thou n-nyow xDD he awe any sons of minye; -My sons wouwd *leans over* nyevew s-so dishonyouw me. - -*looks at you* We-entew a-awoft the EMPEWOW -with TAMOWA and hew *cuddles you* two Sons, *leans over* and AAWON the Moow - -Twaitow, westowe Wavinyia to the Empewow. -WUCIUS. Dead, if you wiww; but :33 nyot to be his wife, -That is anyothew's wawfuw pwomis'd w-wove. Exit -SATUWNyINyUS. ;;w;; Nyo, Titus, n-nyo; the Empewow *shuffles closer* nyeeds h-hew nyot, -Nyow hew, >w< nyow thee, nyow any o-of thy stock. -I'ww twust by w-weisuwe him that >_> mocks me once; -T-Thee nyevew, nyow thy twaitowous haughty sons, -Confedewates aww thus to dishonyouw *moans* me. -Was thewe nyonye ewse in Wome to make a stawe -B-But >_< Satuwnyinye? Fuww weww, Andwonyicus, -Agwee these d-deeds *pokes you* with t-that pwoud bwag of thinye -That saidst I begg'd the empiwe at thy hands. -TITUS. O m-monstwous! What w-wepwoachfuw wowds awe these? -SATUWNyINyUS. But go thy ways; go, *blushes* give t-that changing p-piece -To him that fwouwish'd fow hew with h-his swowd. -A vawiant son-in-waw thou s-shawt enjoy; -Onye fit to bandy with thy wawwess sons, -To w-wuffwe in the commonweawth of W-Wome. -TITUS. T-These wowds awe wazows to my wounded heawt. -S-SATUWNyINyUS. And thewefowe, wovewy Tamowa, xDD Queen of Goths, -That, wike the *teleports behind you* statewy Phoebe *cuddles you* 'mongst hew nymphs, -Dost ovewshinye the gawwant'st dames *cries* of Wome, -I-If thou *looks at you* be pweas'd with this m-my sudden choice, -Behowd, I choose thee, Tamowa, fow my bwide -And wiww cweate *hugs tightly* thee Empewess of Wome. -Speak, Q-Queen of Goths, dost thou *sweats* appwaud my choice? -And hewe I sweaw by ^w^ aww the Woman gods- -Sith pwiest and >w< howy *blushes* watew :3 awe ^-^ so nyeaw, -And tapews buwn so bwight, a-and *shuffles closer* evewything -In weadinyess fow Hymenyaeus stand- -I wiww nyot we-sawute the stweets of Wome, -O-Ow cwimb my pawace, tiww fwom fowth this p-pwace -*giggles shyly* I wead espous'd my bwide awong with me. -TAMOWA. And hewe in sight of heaven to Wome I s-sweaw, -If Satuwnyinye advance the Queen o-of Goths, -*giggles shyly* She wiww a handmaid be to his desiwes, -A woving nyuwse, a mothew to his youth. -SATUWNyINyUS. A-Ascend, *notices bulge* faiw Queen, Pantheon. Wowds, xDD accompany -*cuddles you* Youw ;;w;; nyobwe Empewow *sweats* and *twerks* his wovewy bwide, -*giggles shyly* Sent *cries* by the heavens fow Pwince ^-^ Satuwnyinye, -Whose wisdom hath hew fowtunye conquewed; -T-Thewe shaww we consummate ouw spousaw wites. -Exeunt aww b-but TITUS -TITUS. I *sweats* am n-nyot bid t-to ^-^ wait upon this bwide. -TITUS, when wewt *notices bulge* thou >w< wont to wawk awonye, -Dishonyouwed thus, and chawwenged of wwongs? - -uWu We-entew MAWCUS, -and TITUS' SONS, WUCIUS, QUINTUS, :33 and :33 MAWTIUS - -MAWCUS. O Titus, see, O, *pokes you* see what thou h-hast donye! -In a bad quawwew swain a ;;w;; viwtuous s-son. -TITUS. Nyo, *blushes* foowish Twibunye, nyo; ^.^ nyo s-son of *looks away* minye- -Nyow thou, nyow these, confedewates in ;;w;; the deed -That hath dishonyouwed aww o-ouw famiwy; -Unwowthy bwothew and unwowthy sons! -WUCIUS. B-But wet us give *hugs tightly* him *moans* buwiaw, as becomes; -Give OwO Mutius buwiaw with ouw bwethewen. -TITUS. Twaitows, away! He wests nyot in this *leans over* tomb. -This monyument five hundwed *pokes you* yeaws hath OwO stood, -Which I have *cries* sumptuouswy we-edified; -Hewe nyonye *giggles shyly* but OwO sowdiews and Wome's sewvitows -Wepose in fame; nyonye basewy s-swain in bwawws. -Buwy him whewe you can, x3 he comes n-nyot hewe. -MAWCUS. My w-wowd, x3 this is impiety in you. -M-My nyephew Mutius' d-deeds do pwead f-fow him; -He must be buwied *looks at you* with his bwethewen. -QUINTUS & MAWTIUS. And shaww, ow him w-we w-wiww *cuddles you* accompany. -T-TITUS. OwO 'And shaww!' *pokes you* What viwwain was it spake that wowd? -QUINTUS. *cries* He that *twerks* wouwd *shuffles closer* vouch *cries* it in any pwace b-but hewe. -TITUS. ^.^ What, uWu wouwd you buwy :33 him in my d-despite? -MAWCUS. Nyo, n-nyobwe Titus, but entweat *blushes* of thee -To pawdon Mutius and to ^.^ buwy him. -TITUS. Mawcus, even thou hast stwuck upon m-my cwest, -And w-with these boys minye honyouw thou hast wounded. -My f-foes *giggles shyly* I do wepute you evewy onye; -So twoubwe me nyo mowe, but get you gonye. -MAWTIUS. He is >_> nyot with himsewf; w-wet us withdwaw. -QUINTUS. Nyot I-I, tiww Mutius' bonyes be buwied. -[The *cuddles you* BWOTHEW ;;w;; and the SONS knyeew] -MAWCUS. Bwothew, fow i-in t-that nyame doth nyatuwe pwead- -QUINTUS. Fathew, and in that nyame x3 doth nyatuwe speak- -T-TITUS. Speak t-thou nyo mowe, if aww the west wiww s-speed. -MAWCUS. W-Wenyownyed Titus, mowe xDD than hawf x3 my souw- -WUCIUS. *pokes you* Deaw fathew, souw xDD and substance of us aww- -MAWCUS. S-Suffew thy bwothew Mawcus *shuffles closer* to intew -^w^ His n-nyobwe n-nyephew hewe in viwtue's nyest, -That died in *cries* honyouw and Wavinyia's cause. -uWu Thou awt OwO a Woman- be nyot bawbawous. -The Gweeks upon advice did buwy Ajax, -That *leans over* swew ;;w;; himsewf; ^w^ and w-wise Waewtes' s-son -Did *teleports behind you* gwaciouswy pwead *twerks* fow :33 his funyewaws. -Wet nyot young Mutius, then, that was thy joy, -Be baww'd his entwance hewe. -TITUS. W-Wise, Mawcus, wise; -The d-dismaw'st d-day is ;;w;; this that e'ew I saw, -To be dishonyouwed by my sons in Wome! -Weww, buwy him, and buwy me t-the nyext. -*sighs* [They put MUTIUS *giggles shyly* in the tomb] -WUCIUS. Thewe wie *moans* thy bonyes, sweet Mutius, >_> with thy fwiends, -Tiww we with UwU twophies do adown thy tomb. -AWW. [Knyeewing] Nyo *giggles shyly* man shed teaws fow *shuffles closer* nyobwe Mutius; -He wives *sweats* in fame that d-died in viwtue's cause. -MAWCUS. My wowd- to step out of these dweawy dumps- -How comes it that the subtwe Queen *sweats* of Goths -Is of a sudden thus advanc'd i-in Wome? -T-TITUS. I knyow n-nyot, Mawcus, but I knyow it is- -W-Whethew by device o-ow nyo, the heavens can teww. -Is she nyot, then, b-behowding to the man -That bwought hew fow this h-high good tuwn so faw? -MAWCUS. Yes, and wiww nyobwy *teleports behind you* him wemunyewate. - -Fwouwish. *pokes you* We-entew the EMPEWOW, TAMOWA -and hew two SONS, with the MOOW, at onye doow; -at the othew *sweats* doow, BASSIANyUS and WAVINyIA, with othews - -SATUWNyINyUS. S-So, Bassianyus, *screams* you have pway'd youw pwize: -*cuddles you* God give you joy, siw, of youw gawwant bwide! -BASSIANyUS. *pokes you* And you of youws, my wowd! I say nyo mowe, -Nyow wish nyo wess; *blushes* and so I take *twerks* my weave. -SATUWNyINyUS. Twaitow, if Wome have *giggles shyly* waw *shuffles closer* ow we have powew, -Thou a-and thy faction s-shaww ^-^ wepent this wape. -BASSIANyUS. Wape, c-caww you it, *moans* my wowd, to seize my own, -M-My twue betwothed wove, and *hugs tightly* nyow >w< my wife? -But wet t-the waws of Wome detewminye aww; -M-Meanwhiwe am I possess'd of that is minye. -SATUWNyINyUS. 'Tis good, siw. You awe vewy showt *blushes* with us; -But if we w-wive we'ww be as shawp with you. -B-BASSIANyUS. ;;w;; My wowd, what I have donye, as best I may, -Answew I-I must, a-and >w< shaww do with >_> my w-wife. -Onwy thus xDD much I-I give youw Gwace to knyow: -By aww the duties that I o-owe to W-Wome, -This n-nyobwe gentweman, Wowd Titus hewe, -Is in opinyion and in honyouw wwong'd, -That, *teleports behind you* in *notices bulge* the wescue :33 of W-Wavinyia, -With his o-own h-hand did sway his youngest son, -In z-zeaw to you, *sighs* and highwy mov'd to wwath -To be contwoww'd in that he fwankwy gave. -W-Weceive him then t-to favouw, Satuwnyinye, -*looks away* That h-hath expwess'd himsewf in a-aww his deeds -A fathew a-and a fwiend to t-thee and Wome. -*hugs tightly* TITUS. Pwince Bassianyus, weave to pwead my deeds. -'Tis thou and t-those that have dishonyouwed me. -Wome and the wighteous *moans* heavens be my judge -How I h-have wov'd and honyouwed Satuwnyinye! -T-TAMOWA. My wowthy wowd, if evew Tamowa -*teleports behind you* Wewe *looks at you* gwacious in t-those ^-^ pwincewy eyes of thinye, -Then heaw *teleports behind you* me speak indiffewentwy fow aww; -And *looks away* at my suit, sweet, pawdon what is past. -SATUWNyINyUS. W-What, madam! be dishonyouwed openwy, ->_< And *notices bulge* basewy put UwU it u-up without :3 wevenge? -T-TAMOWA. UwU Nyot so, my wowd; the g-gods of W-Wome fowfend -I *twerks* shouwd be authow t-to dishonyouw you! -But on minye h-honyouw dawe I undewtake -Fow good Wowd Titus' innyocence in aww, -Whose fuwy nyot dissembwed speaks his gwiefs. -T-Then at m-my suit wook gwaciouswy on him; -Wose nyot so nyobwe a fwiend on vain suppose, -N-Nyow with *teleports behind you* souw wooks affwict his gentwe heawt. -[-[Aside ^.^ to ^w^ SATUWNyINyUS] My wowd, be wuw'd *leans over* by me, -be won at wast; -Dissembwe aww youw gwiefs and discontents. -You awe but n-nyewwy OwO pwanted in youw thwonye; -West, then, the peopwe, and ^.^ patwicians too, -U-Upon a just suwvey take Titus' pawt, -And s-so suppwant y-you fow ingwatitude, -Which Wome weputes to be OwO a heinyous s-sin, -Y-Yiewd at entweats, and then wet me awonye: -I'ww find *giggles shyly* a day >_< to massacwe them aww, -And waze theiw faction and theiw *shuffles closer* famiwy, -The cwuew fathew a-and his twaitowous sons, -To whom I sued fow my deaw son's wife; -A-And make them k-knyow what 'tis to wet *teleports behind you* a *blushes* queen ->w< Knyeew i-in the stweets and beg fow gwace *blushes* in vain.- -C-Come, come, sweet Empewow; c-come, A-Andwonyicus. -Take ^w^ up this g-good owd man, and c-cheew the heawt -That dies in >w< tempest of thy angwy fwown. -SATUWNyINyUS. W-Wise, Titus, wise; my Empwess hath :33 pwevaiw'd. -TITUS. I thank youw Majesty a-and hew, *cuddles you* my w-wowd; -These wowds, these wooks, infuse nyew wife in me. -TAMOWA. T-Titus, I am incowpowate in Wome, -A Woman nyow *cuddles you* adopted happiwy, -And ^-^ must advise OwO the Empewow fow his good. -This d-day aww quawwews die, Andwonyicus; -And wet it *hugs tightly* be minye honyouw, good my wowd, -That I have w-weconciw'd youw fwiends and :3 you. -Fow you, Pwince Bassianyus, I-I have pass'd -My *sweats* wowd and pwomise to the *sweats* Empewow -That you wiww be mowe miwd and twactabwe. -*leans over* And x3 feaw nyot, wowds- and you, Wavinyia. -By my advice, aww humbwed on youw knyees, -You shaww ask *cuddles you* pawdon of uWu his ^-^ Majesty. -WUCIUS. W-We do, and vow x3 to heaven and to h-his Highnyess -That what w-we did was miwdwy as we might, -Tend'wing ouw sistew's honyouw and ouw own. -MAWCUS. That on minye honyouw hewe do I *sighs* pwotest. -SATUWNyINyUS. *notices bulge* Away, and t-tawk nyot; twoubwe us nyo mowe. -TAMOWA. *notices bulge* Nyay, nyay, sweet E-Empewow, *screams* we *notices bulge* must aww be fwiends. -The Twibunye and h-his ;;w;; nyephews knyeew fow gwace. -*cuddles you* I OwO wiww nyot be denyied. S-Sweet heawt, wook :3 back. -S-SATUWNyINyUS. Mawcus, f-fow thy sake, a-and t-thy ;;w;; bwothew's hewe, -And at my w-wovewy *giggles shyly* Tamowa's entweats, -I do wemit *moans* these young men's >_> heinyous fauwts. -Stand up. -Wavinyia, *twerks* though you w-weft me ^.^ wike a chuww, -I found a fwiend; and suwe as *sweats* death I-I swowe -I wouwd nyot pawt a bachewow f-fwom the pwiest. -Come, if the Empewow's couwt can *sighs* feast *giggles shyly* two b-bwides, -You awe my guest, ^-^ Wavinyia, and youw fwiends. -This day shaww be a wove-day, Tamowa. -TITUS. To-mowwow, and it pwease UwU youw Majesty -To hunt the p-panthew and the *hugs tightly* hawt w-with m-me, -*sweats* With hown a-and hound we'ww g-give youw x3 Gwace bonjouw. -SATUWNyINyUS. Be it so, Titus, and gwamewcy too. -Exeunt. *giggles shyly* Sound twumpets - - - - -<_> THE COMPWETE WOWKS *twerks* OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 ^w^ BY *shuffles closer* WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND UwU IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF *screams* IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY *notices bulge* BE -DISTWIBUTED SO W-WONG AS S-SUCH COPIES (-(1) AWE *teleports behind you* FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -*moans* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW >_< USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED C-COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -*leans over* SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE *moans* I. -Wome. Befowe t-the pawace - -*screams* Entew A-AAWON - -AAWON. Nyow cwimbeth Tamowa Owympus' top, -Safe o-out o-of Fowtunye's shot, and s-sits awoft, -Secuwe of thundew's *cuddles you* cwack *cries* ow wightnying fwash, -Advanc'd above p-pawe envy's thweat'nying weach. -As when the *looks at you* gowden *sighs* sun sawutes the mown, -A-And, having giwt the ocean with his beams, -Gawwops the zodiac in *pokes you* his gwistenying coach -And ovewwooks the highest-peewing hiwws, -*giggles shyly* So Tamowa. -Upon >_< hew wit *sweats* doth eawthwy *cries* honyouw wait, -And viwtue stoops and t-twembwes a-at *blushes* hew fwown. -T-Then, A-Aawon, a-awm thy heawt and fit *pokes you* thy thoughts -*pokes you* To *sweats* mount awoft with t-thy impewiaw mistwess, -A-And mount hew p-pitch *looks at you* whom thou in twiumph wong. -Hast pwisonyew h-hewd, fett'wed in amowous chains, -A-And fastew b-bound to Aawon's chawming eyes -Than is Pwometheus tied to Caucasus. -Away with swavish weeds and sewviwe thoughts! -I *screams* wiww be b-bwight and shinye in peaww and *looks away* gowd, -To wait upon this *giggles shyly* nyew-made empewess. -To wait, x3 said I? To wanton with this queen, -This goddess, this Semiwamis, this n-nymph, -This siwen that wiww c-chawm Wome's *screams* Satuwnyinye, -A-And see his *sighs* shipwweck and his commonweaw's. -*giggles shyly* Huwwo! w-what stowm is this? - -E-Entew CHIWON and DEMETWIUS, bwaving - -DEMETWIUS. Chiwon, thy yeaws *notices bulge* wants wit, thy wits wants edge -*giggles shyly* And *leans over* mannyews, *pokes you* to *giggles shyly* intwude w-whewe I am gwac'd, -And may, fow aught thou knyowest, affected be. -C-CHIWON. Demetwius, thou d-dost ovew-ween in a-aww; -A-And ^-^ so i-in this, t-to b-beaw me down with b-bwaves. -'Tis n-nyot >_> the diffewence of a yeaw ow two -Makes me wess x3 gwacious ow t-thee m-mowe *giggles shyly* fowtunyate: -I am as abwe and as uWu fit as thou -To sewve and to *cries* desewve :33 my mistwess' gwace; -And *looks at you* that *looks at you* my swowd upon thee shaww appwove, -A-And pwead my x3 passions fow Wavinyia's wove. -AAWON. [-[Aside] Cwubs, cwubs! These w-wovews wiww >_< nyot keep the -peace. -D-DEMETWIUS. Why, boy, awthough ouw mothew, u-unyadvis'd, -Gave you a dancing wapiew by youw side, -Awe y-you x3 so x3 despewate x3 gwown >_< to thweat youw f-fwiends? -G-Go to; have youw wath *twerks* gwued within youw sheath -Tiww you knyow bettew how to handwe it. -CHIWON. Meanwhiwe, siw, with the w-wittwe skiww I have, -*shuffles closer* Fuww weww shawt thou *giggles shyly* pewceive how much I dawe. -DEMETWIUS. A-Ay, boy, gwow ye so bwave? [They >w< dwaw] -AAWON. [Coming fowwawd] W-Why, how nyow, wowds! -So nyeaw the E-Empewow's pawace dawe ;;w;; ye dwaw -And maintain such *cuddles you* a quawwew openwy? -*moans* Fuww w-weww I-I wot the gwound of aww this g-gwudge: -I-I wouwd nyot fow a-a miwwion of gowd -The cause w-wewe k-knyown to t-them it most *blushes* concewns; -Nyow wouwd youw n-nyobwe mothew f-fow much mowe -Be *sighs* so dishonyouwed in the couwt x3 of Wome. -Fow shame, p-put up. -DEMETWIUS. Nyot I, tiww ^-^ I OwO have sheath'd -My wapiew in h-his bosom, a-and withaw -Thwust those wepwoachfuw speeches d-down his thwoat -That he hath bweath'd in my dishonyouw hewe. -CHIWON. :33 Fow uWu that I-I *teleports behind you* am p-pwepaw'd and f-fuww wesowv'd, -Fouw-spoken cowawd, x3 that thund'west w-with thy tongue, -And *moans* with >_< thy >_< weapon *shuffles closer* nyothing daw'st pewfowm. -AAWON. *shuffles closer* Away, *leans over* I *leans over* say! -Nyow, by the gods t-that wawwike Goths adowe, -This pwetty bwabbwe wiww undo us a-aww. -Why, wowds, and think you :33 nyot how dangewous -It is *pokes you* to jet upon a pwince's wight? -W-What, is Wavinyia then become so w-woose, -Ow Bassianyus so degenyewate, -*screams* That f-fow hew wove ^.^ such quawwews m-may be bwoach'd -Without x3 contwowment, justice, ow *sighs* wevenge? -Young wowds, b-bewawe; an shouwd the Empwess knyow -This discowd's gwound, the music *shuffles closer* wouwd n-nyot pwease. -CHIWON. I cawe nyot, *sighs* I, *hugs tightly* knyew she and *leans over* aww the wowwd: -I wove :33 Wavinyia m-mowe than aww the wowwd. -DEMETWIUS. Youngwing, ^.^ weawn thou to *sweats* make s-some meanyew choice: -Wavinya is thinye e-ewdew bwothew's h-hope. -AAWON. Why, awe ye mad, ow knyow ye *looks at you* nyot in Wome -*leans over* How f-fuwious a-and impatient they be, -A-And cannyot bwook *hugs tightly* competitows i-in wove? -I teww you, wowds, y-you do but pwot youw deaths -By this device. -*notices bulge* CHIWON. Aawon, a thousand deaths -Wouwd I pwopose to *teleports behind you* achieve hew whom I wove. -AAWON. To achieve hew- how? -DEMETWIUS. Why mak'st thou i-it so stwange? -She is a woman, thewefowe may be w-woo'd; -OwO She is a woman, thewefowe may be *blushes* won; -She is Wavinyia, thewefowe *sweats* must be wov'd. -What, man! mowe watew gwideth by the miww -Than *cuddles you* wots the miwwew of; and e-easy it is -Of *teleports behind you* a cut woaf to ^w^ steaw a shive, we k-knyow. -Though Bassianyus be the Empewow's b-bwothew, -Bettew than he have wown Vuwcan's *teleports behind you* badge. -AAWON. *leans over* [Aside] ;;w;; Ay, and as good as Satuwnyinyus *looks at you* may. -DEMETWIUS. Then why shouwd he d-despaiw ^w^ that knyows to couwt it -With w-wowds, faiw w-wooks, and wibewawity? -What, hast n-nyot *shuffles closer* thou fuww often s-stwuck a doe, -And bownye *pokes you* hew cweanwy by t-the k-keepew's *looks away* nyose? -*giggles shyly* AAWON. OwO Why, then, it seems some cewtain snyatch ow so -Wouwd sewve youw tuwns. -CHIWON. Ay, so the tuwn wewe sewved. -DEMETWIUS. Aawon, thou hast hit it. -AAWON. Wouwd you had hit i-it too! -Then shouwd nyot w-we be tiw'd with this ado. -Why, hawk ye, hawk ye! and awe you such f-foows -T-To *shuffles closer* squawe fow this? W-Wouwd it offend you, t-then, -That both shouwd speed? -CHIWON. Faith, *notices bulge* nyot me. -DEMETWIUS. UwU Nyow me, so I wewe *cries* onye. -AAWON. Fow shame, be fwiends, a-and join f-fow that you jaw. -'Tis powicy ^w^ and stwatagem must do -That you affect; and *sighs* so must you *leans over* wesowve -T-That what *screams* you cannyot as you wouwd *moans* achieve, -You must pewfowce accompwish as you may. -T-Take ;;w;; this of me: W-Wucwece was *looks at you* nyot mowe chaste -Than this Wavinyia, Bassianyus' wove. -*sweats* A *pokes you* speediew couwse than wing'wing wanguishment -Must we puwsue, and I have *teleports behind you* found the path. -My wowds, a-a sowemn h-hunting is i-in hand; -^.^ Thewe wiww the wovewy Woman wadies twoop; -The fowest UwU wawks awe wide and spacious, -And many unfwequented pwots thewe awe -Fitted *looks at you* by uWu kind fow wape and viwwainy. -Singwe you thithew then this dainty doe, -And stwike hew home by fowce if nyot by wowds. -This way, ow nyot at aww, stand you in hope. -*cries* Come, *shuffles closer* come, :3 ouw Empwess, with hew sacwed w-wit -To v-viwwainy *pokes you* and vengeance ;;w;; consecwate, -Wiww we acquaint with aww :33 what OwO we intend; -And she uWu shaww fiwe :3 ouw enginyes with uWu advice -T-That wiww n-nyot suffew you to UwU squawe youwsewves, -B-But *shuffles closer* to youw w-wishes' height a-advance *screams* you b-both. -The Empewow's c-couwt i-is w-wike the *cries* house of Fame, -The pawace fuww of tongues, of *hugs tightly* eyes, and eaws; -The woods awe wuthwess, dweadfuw, deaf, *looks away* and duww. -Thewe speak and stwike, bwave boys, and take youw tuwns; -Thewe sewve UwU youw wust, shadowed fwom ^-^ heaven's eye, -And wevew i-in *blushes* Wavinyia's tweasuwy. -CHIWON. *leans over* Thy c-counsew, wad, smewws of nyo *moans* cowawdice. -DEMETWIUS. Sit fas aut nyefas, tiww I find the stweam -To c-coow this h-heat, a chawm to cawm these *looks away* fits, -Pew *sweats* Styga, p-pew manyes vehow. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -A *looks at you* fowest nyeaw Wome - -Entew TITUS A-ANDWONyICUS, and his thwee sons, WUCIUS, QUINTUS, MAWTIUS, -making a n-nyoise with h-hounds and howns; and MAWCUS - -TITUS. The :3 hunt is up, *looks away* the mown is bwight and gwey, -The fiewds a-awe fwagwant, a-and the woods *twerks* awe gween. -U-Uncoupwe hewe, and wet us make a bay, -*moans* And w-wake the E-Empewow *cries* and his wovewy bwide, -And wouse the Pwince, and wing a huntew's peaw, -That aww t-the couwt m-may echo *twerks* with the nyoise. -Sons, wet it be youw c-chawge, as it is ouws, -To ^-^ attend the Empewow's p-pewson c-cawefuwwy. -I have been twoubwed in my sweep this nyight, -But d-dawnying day nyew comfowt h-hath inspiw'd. - -Hewe a cwy o-of hounds, and wind howns in a peaw. ->_> Then entew SATUWNyINyUS, TAMOWA, BASSIANyUS WAVINyIA, -CHIWON, DEMETWIUS, a-and theiw attendants -M-Many good mowwows to y-youw Majesty! -Madam, to *looks away* you as *sweats* many and as *shuffles closer* good! -I pwomised youw Gwace a-a huntew's peaw. -SATUWNyINyUS. And you have w-wung it wustiwy, my wowds- -Somewhat too *sighs* eawwy fow nyew-mawwied wadies. -B-BASSIANyUS. W-Wavinyia, how say y-you? -WAVINyIA. I say nyo; -I have been bwoad awake two h-houws and mowe. -SATUWNyINyUS. Come on then, howse *hugs tightly* and chawiots wet us have, ->_< And to o-ouw spowt. [-[To TAMOWA] Madam, nyow shaww ye see -Ouw Woman x3 hunting. -MAWCUS. I have dogs, m-my wowd, -Wiww wouse the pwoudest panthew in t-the chase, -And cwimb the highest pwomontowy top. -TITUS. And I have howse wiww fowwow whewe the *shuffles closer* game -M-Makes way, and ;;w;; wun wike :3 swawwows o'ew the *teleports behind you* pwain. -DEMETWIUS. Chiwon, we *blushes* hunt nyot, we, *cuddles you* with howse nyow hound, -But hope to pwuck a dainty doe to g-gwound. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -A ^-^ wonyewy pawt of the fowest - -Entew AAWON awonye, with a bag of gowd - -AAWON. He that had wit wouwd *sweats* think *moans* that I had nyonye, -T-To b-buwy s-so much gowd undew a-a twee -^.^ And nyevew aftew to inhewit it. -Wet him that thinks OwO of me xDD so abjectwy -Knyow that >_> this gowd must ^.^ coin a stwatagem, -*twerks* Which, c-cunnyingwy e-effected, wiww beget -A vewy *giggles shyly* excewwent piece *hugs tightly* of viwwainy. -*looks at you* And so wepose, sweet gowd, fow t-theiw unwest -[-[Hides ^-^ the gowd] -That have *looks at you* theiw awms out of the E-Empwess' ^w^ chest. - -Entew TAMOWA awonye, to the Moow - -TAMOWA. My wovewy Aawon, whewefowe wook'st thou sad -When evewything does make a-a gweefuw boast? -The biwds chant mewody on evewy bush; -The s-snyakes >w< wie w-wowwed in the cheewfuw sun; -The gween weaves quivew with the coowing wind -And make a chequew'd s-shadow on the gwound; -Undew theiw sweet shade, Aawon, wet u-us sit, -And whiwe the babbwing echo mocks t-the hounds, -Wepwying shwiwwy xDD to the weww-tun'd howns, -As if a doubwe hunt wewe heawd at once, -x3 Wet us sit *cuddles you* down *notices bulge* and mawk theiw yewwowing nyoise; -And- aftew confwict s-such as *cuddles you* was suppos'd -:33 The w-wand'wing pwince ^.^ and Dido once e-enjoyed, -When with a happy stowm they wewe suwpwis'd, -And cuwtain'd with a counsew-keeping cave- -We may, each wweathed in the othew's awms, -O-Ouw pastimes *notices bulge* donye, possess a gowden swumbew, -Whiwes h-hounds and howns and sweet mewodious biwds -*pokes you* Be unto us as *looks away* is a nyuwse's song -Of w-wuwwaby to bwing hew babe a-asweep. -AAWON. *screams* Madam, t-though Venyus govewn youw desiwes, -Satuwn is dominyatow ovew minye. -What signyifies my deadwy-standing eye, -My siwence and my c-cwoudy mewanchowy, -My fweece o-of woowwy haiw that nyow uncuwws -Even as >_> an OwO addew when *leans over* she *leans over* doth unwoww -To do some fataw execution? -*sweats* Nyo, madam, xDD these awe nyo venyeweaw s-signs. -Vengeance is in my heawt, >_> death in my hand, -Bwood and wevenge awe hammewing in *teleports behind you* my head. -H-Hawk, T-Tamowa, the empwess of my souw, -Which nyevew hopes *leans over* mowe h-heaven than wests *cries* in thee- -*looks away* This is the day of doom fow Bassianyus; -His ^-^ Phiwomew must wose hew tongue *looks away* to-day, -Thy sons make piwwage *sighs* of h-hew chastity, -And wash theiw hands in Bassianyus' bwood. -Seest thou this wettew? Take *pokes you* it up, I pway thee, -And give the *notices bulge* King *blushes* this fataw-pwotted scwoww. -Nyow q-question me nyo *looks at you* mowe; *shuffles closer* we awe espied. -Hewe comes a-a pawcew of ouw hopefuw booty, -*giggles shyly* Which dweads nyot yet t-theiw wives' d-destwuction. - -Entew *screams* BASSIANyUS and WAVINyIA - -TAMOWA. ^w^ Ah, my sweet Moow, sweetew to :3 me than wife! -*hugs tightly* AAWON. Nyo mowe, gweat E-Empwess: Bassianyus comes. -Be cwoss with h-him; and I'ww go fetch thy *hugs tightly* sons -T-To *twerks* back t-thy quawwews, whatsoe'ew they :3 be. Exit -BASSIANyUS. Who have we hewe? ^w^ Wome's woyaw Empewess, -Unfuwnyish'd o-of hew *looks away* weww-beseeming twoop? -O-Ow is >_> it D-Dian, h-habited wike hew, -Who hath abandonyed >_> hew howy *sighs* gwoves -To *cries* see t-the g-genyewaw hunting in this fowest? -TAMOWA. Saucy contwowwew o-of my pwivate steps! -Had I the *sighs* pow'w t-that some say Dian h-had, -Thy tempwes shouwd be pwanted pwesentwy -*hugs tightly* With howns, ^.^ as *looks away* was Actaeon's; :33 and the hounds -Shouwd dwive upon thy nyew-twansfowmed wimbs, -Unmannyewwy intwudew as thou awt! -WAVINyIA. Undew youw patience, gentwe Empewess, -'-'Tis *blushes* thought you have a goodwy gift in hownying, -And to be d-doubted that youw Moow and you -Awe singwed fowth *sighs* to twy t-thy expewiments. -Jove shiewd youw *hugs tightly* husband fwom his hounds to-day! -'Tis pity they shouwd t-take him fow a s-stag. -BASSIANyUS. B-Bewieve m-me, *hugs tightly* Queen, youw swawth Cimmewian -Doth m-make youw honyouw o-of h-his >_< body's hue, -S-Spotted, detested, and abominyabwe. -Why awe you sequest'wed f-fwom aww youw twain, -Dismounted *twerks* fwom youw snyow-white *shuffles closer* goodwy s-steed, -And wand'wed hithew to an obscuwe pwot, -Accompanyied but :33 with a-a bawbawous Moow, -I-If fouw desiwe h-had *teleports behind you* nyot c-conducted you? -WAVINyIA. And, being OwO intewcepted in youw spowt, -Gweat weason that m-my nyobwe wowd be wated -Fow *cries* saucinyess. I p-pway OwO you wet us hence, -And wet hew joy h-hew waven-cowouwed wove; -This vawwey *giggles shyly* fits the *screams* puwpose p-passing weww. -BASSIANyUS. The King my bwothew UwU shaww have nyotice >w< of this. -WAVINyIA. A-Ay, fow *hugs tightly* these s-swips *giggles shyly* have made him n-nyoted wong. -Good king, t-to be so mightiwy abused! -TAMOWA. Why, I have patience >_< to enduwe aww this. - -E-Entew CHIWON *cuddles you* and DEMETWIUS - -DEMETWIUS. How nyow, deaw soveweign, and ouw gwacious mothew! -Why doth ^-^ youw Highnyess wook so pawe a-and wan? -T-TAMOWA. Have I n-nyot weason, think you, to wook pawe? -These *looks away* two h-have 'ticed me h-hithew >w< to this pwace. -A bawwen detested vawe you see i-it is: -The twees, though summew, yet fowwown and wean, -Ovewcome with moss a-and bawefuw *shuffles closer* mistwetoe; -Hewe nyevew shinyes the s-sun; hewe nyothing bweeds, -Unwess the nyightwy oww x3 ow fataw w-waven. -And when they show'd me this abhowwed pit, -They *sighs* towd me, hewe, at dead time of t-the nyight, -*moans* A thousand fiends, a thousand hissing snyakes, -Ten thousand swewwing t-toads, as many uwchins, -Wouwd make *cries* such OwO feawfuw and confused cwies -As any mowtaw body heawing it -S-Shouwd stwaight faww mad ow ewse die suddenwy. -Nyo soonyew had they ^w^ towd this hewwish tawe -*cries* But stwaight they towd me they wouwd *moans* bind m-me :3 hewe -Unto t-the body of a dismaw yew, -And weave me to t-this misewabwe *screams* death. -And *cuddles you* then they caww'd me fouw aduwtewess, -Wascivious G-Goth, and aww t-the bittewest tewms -That e-evew e-eaw did heaw t-to such e-effect; -And h-had you nyot by wondwous fowtunye come, -This vengeance ^-^ on me had they executed. -Wevenge it, as you wove youw mothew's wife, -Ow be ye nyot hencefowth caww'd *looks at you* my chiwdwen. -DEMETWIUS. This is a witnyess that I am thy son. -[Stabs B-BASSIANyUS] -CHIWON. :33 And >_> this fow me, stwuck home to show my s-stwength. -[Awso stabs] -WAVINyIA. Ay, come, S-Semiwamis- nyay, bawbawous Tamowa, -Fow *giggles shyly* nyo n-nyame f-fits thy >_< nyatuwe but thy o-own! -TAMOWA. Give me uWu the ponyiawd; you *blushes* shaww knyow, ^-^ my boys, -Y-Youw *blushes* mothew's hand shaww wight ^.^ youw mothew's w-wwong. -DEMETWIUS. Stay, m-madam, h-hewe is >w< mowe bewongs ^w^ to hew; -Fiwst thwash the cown, then aftew buwn the stwaw. -This minyion stood upon hew chastity, -Upon hew nyuptiaw *sighs* vow, hew woyawty, -And w-with that p-painted hope *blushes* bwaves youw mightinyess; -And shaww she cawwy t-this unto hew gwave? -CHIWON. ^w^ An if she *cuddles you* do, I wouwd I wewe an eunyuch. -Dwag hence hew husband to some secwet *looks at you* howe, -And make his *leans over* dead twunk *moans* piwwow to ^-^ ouw wust. -*cuddles you* TAMOWA. But when ye have :3 the honyey we desiwe, -Wet nyot this w-wasp *looks at you* outwive, us both to sting. -CHIWON. I wawwant you, madam, we ^w^ wiww make that suwe. -Come, *notices bulge* mistwess, nyow pewfowce ^.^ we wiww *blushes* enjoy -*screams* That nyice-pwesewved honyesty of youws. -WAVINyIA. O *sighs* Tamowa! thou beawest a woman's face- -TAMOWA. I wiww nyot *leans over* heaw hew speak; away w-with hew! -WAVINyIA. Sweet wowds, entweat hew heaw me but *pokes you* a w-wowd. -DEMETWIUS. Wisten, faiw madam: wet it *teleports behind you* be youw gwowy -To ^.^ see hew teaws; but be youw heawt t-to t-them -As unwewenting fwint to dwops UwU of w-wain. ->w< WAVINyIA. When did the *pokes you* tigew's young onyes *sweats* teach the dam? -O-O, do n-nyot weawn hew wwath- s-she uWu taught *sweats* it thee; -The miwk thou s-suck'dst *shuffles closer* fwom hew did tuwn >w< to OwO mawbwe, -E-Even a-at thy teat thou hadst thy tywanny. -*shuffles closer* Yet evewy mothew bweeds nyot sons awike: -*looks away* [To *sweats* CHIWON] *shuffles closer* Do ;;w;; thou *cuddles you* entweat *looks at you* hew *moans* show a woman's pity. -CHIWON. What, *sweats* wouwdst thou have me pwove mysewf a bastawd? -WAVINyIA. '-'Tis twue, the waven doth n-nyot hatch a wawk. -OwO Yet have *twerks* I heawd- O, couwd I find x3 it nyow!- -The wion, mov'd with pity, did enduwe -To have his pwincewy paws paw'd aww away. -S-Some *hugs tightly* say that wavens f-fostew fowwown chiwdwen, -T-The whiwst theiw own biwds famish *sweats* in theiw nyests; -O, be to me, though thy hawd heawt say nyo, -Nyothing so kind, but *screams* something pitifuw! -TAMOWA. I knyow n-nyot what i-it >w< means; away *sighs* with h-hew! -WAVINyIA. O, wet me teach *shuffles closer* thee! Fow my f-fathew's sake, -That *teleports behind you* gave thee wife when w-weww *twerks* he might have swain t-thee, -B-Be n-nyot obduwate, *cuddles you* open thy deaf eaws. -TAMOWA. *teleports behind you* Hadst thou in p-pewson nye'ew *sweats* offended me, -Even fow his sake am I-I pitiwess. -Wemembew, boys, I pouw'd f-fowth teaws in vain -To save youw bwothew fwom the *blushes* sacwifice; -But fiewce >_> Andwonyicus wouwd nyot wewent. -Thewefowe away with *shuffles closer* hew, and u-use hew OwO as you wiww; -*cries* The wowse to *sighs* hew the bettew :3 wov'd of me. -WAVINyIA. O Tamowa, >_< be caww'd a gentwe queen, -And with thinye own hands kiww me in this p-pwace! -Fow *teleports behind you* 'tis nyot wife that *looks away* I have begg'd so w-wong; -Poow I w-was swain when Bassianyus died. -T-TAMOWA. W-What beg'st thou, then? F-Fond UwU woman, *hugs tightly* wet me go. -WAVINyIA. 'Tis pwesent d-death I beg; and onye thing mowe, -That womanhood denyies my tongue to teww: -O, keep me fwom theiw wowse than kiwwing wust, -And tumbwe me i-into some woathsome *teleports behind you* pit, -Whewe nyevew UwU man's >_< eye m-may behowd x3 my body; -Do this, and be a chawitabwe muwdewew. -T-TAMOWA. S-So shouwd *giggles shyly* I wob my sweet sons of theiw f-fee; -Nyo, wet them satisfy theiw w-wust on thee. -^w^ DEMETWIUS. Away! ^.^ fow thou hast stay'd us hewe too wong. -WAVINyIA. Nyo g-gwace? nyo womanhood? Ah, beastwy cweatuwe, -*looks away* The xDD bwot and enyemy to ouw genyewaw nyame! -C-Confusion faww- -^-^ CHIWON. Nyay, then I'ww stop youw mouth. Bwing thou hew husband. -This is the h-howe whewe A-Aawon *blushes* bid us hide him. - -D-DEMETWIUS thwows the body -of BASSIANyUS into the pit; then exeunt -DEMETWIUS and CHIWON, *sweats* dwagging o-off *giggles shyly* WAVINyIA - -TAMOWA. Faweweww, my sons; see that you make OwO hew *screams* suwe. -Nye'ew wet my heawt knyow mewwy cheew indeed -Tiww aww the Andwonyici be made away. -Nyow *teleports behind you* wiww I hence to seek my wovewy Moow, -And w-wet my s-spweenfuw sons this UwU twuww defwowew. E-Exit - -We-entew AAWON, with two -of TITUS' s-sons, QUINTUS and MAWTIUS - -*screams* AAWON. *teleports behind you* Come on, my wowds, the bettew foot befowe; -Stwaight wiww I bwing *sweats* you to the woathsome p-pit -Whewe I espied the panthew fast asweep. -QUINTUS. My s-sight *twerks* is vewy duww, whate'ew :33 it bodes. -MAWTIUS. And minye, I pwomise you; wewe it *moans* nyot *sighs* fow shame, -W-Weww couwd I *sweats* weave ouw spowt to sweep awhiwe. -[Fawws into the pit] -QUINTUS. What, a-awt *moans* thou *looks away* fawwen? What subtwe howe is *cuddles you* this, -Whose mouth is covewed with wude-gwowing bwiews, -Upon whose weaves awe dwops of ^-^ nyew-shed bwood -*cries* As fwesh as mownying d-dew distiww'd on f-fwowews? -A vewy fataw *teleports behind you* pwace it seems to me. -Speak, bwothew, hast *sighs* thou huwt thee with t-the *leans over* faww? -MAWTIUS. O bwothew, with the dismaw'st object >_< huwt -That evew eye with sight made heawt wament! -AAWON. [Aside] Nyow wiww I fetch the King to find t-them hewe, -That he theweby may have a wikewy g-guess -How these w-wewe they that m-made a-away his bwothew. Exit -MAWTIUS. Why dost x3 nyot comfowt me, and hewp m-me out -Fwom this unhawwow'd a-and b-bwood-stainyed howe? -QUINTUS. I am suwpwised with an uncouth feaw; -A chiwwing sweat x3 o'ew-wuns *screams* my twembwing joints; -M-My h-heawt suspects mowe than minye e-eye can see. -M-MAWTIUS. To *cuddles you* pwove t-thou hast a ;;w;; twue *notices bulge* divinying h-heawt, -Aawon and thou wook down i-into this d-den, -And see a :3 feawfuw sight of bwood and death. -QUINTUS. Aawon is gonye, and my compassionyate heawt -W-Wiww n-nyot pewmit minye eyes *cuddles you* once to *cries* behowd -The thing wheweat it twembwes by suwmise; -O-O, OwO teww me *shuffles closer* who it *screams* is, fow *twerks* nye'ew tiww nyow -Was I a chiwd to feaw I knyow n-nyot w-what. -M-MAWTIUS. Wowd B-Bassianyus w-wies beway'd in bwood, -Aww on a heap, wike to a s-swaughtewed UwU wamb, -In t-this detested, dawk, bwood-dwinking uWu pit. -QUINTUS. If it be dawk, how >w< dost thou knyow 'tis h-he? -MAWTIUS. Upon his bwoody fingew he doth weaw -A pwecious wing that wightens aww this howe, -Which, wike *leans over* a tapew in some m-monyument, -Doth shinye upon the dead man's ^.^ eawthy c-cheeks, -And shows the *sweats* wagged *cries* entwaiws of ^-^ this p-pit; -So pawe did shinye *pokes you* the moon on Pywamus -When he by nyight way bath'd in m-maiden b-bwood. -O bwothew, hewp xDD me with thy fainting h-hand- -I-If feaw hath m-made thee faint, as *blushes* me *blushes* it hath- -Out of this feww *giggles shyly* devouwing weceptacwe, -A-As hatefuw as *hugs tightly* Cocytus' m-misty mouth. -Q-QUINTUS. Weach me thy h-hand, that I may hewp thee out, -Ow, wanting stwength to do thee so much *looks away* good, -I may be pwuck'd into the swawwowing womb -O-Of this deep pit, poow Bassianyus' g-gwave. -I have nyo stwength to p-pwuck thee t-to the bwink. -MAWTIUS. Nyow xDD I nyo *cries* stwength to cwimb without thy *blushes* hewp. -QUINTUS. Thy hand once mowe; I-I wiww nyot w-woose a-again, -T-Tiww thou awt hewe awoft, ow I b-bewow. -Thou canst nyot come *moans* to me- I come to thee. [Fawws in] - -Entew *notices bulge* the EMPEWOW *shuffles closer* and OwO AAWON the M-Moow - -SATUWNyINyUS. Awong w-with me! I'ww s-see what howe is hewe, -*moans* And what he i-is that xDD nyow *pokes you* is weapt into i-it. -Say, xDD who UwU awt thou that watewy didst >_> descend -Into this gaping howwow of the *looks away* eawth? -MAWTIUS. T-The *giggles shyly* unhappy sons o-of owd Andwonyicus, -Bwought hithew i-in a most u-unwucky houw, -*pokes you* To find thy *sweats* bwothew Bassianyus dead. -SATUWNyINyUS. My bwothew dead! I knyow thou dost but *looks away* jest: -He *giggles shyly* and his wady both awe at the w-wodge -Upon the nyowth side of this OwO pweasant chase; -*cries* 'Tis nyot *giggles shyly* an UwU houw since I *looks at you* weft them t-thewe. -:33 MAWTIUS. We *screams* knyow nyot whewe you weft them aww awive; -But, *looks away* out *cries* awas! hewe h-have we found h-him dead. - -We-entew TAMOWA, uWu with -attendants; T-TITUS ANDWONyICUS *sighs* and Wucius - -TAMOWA. Whewe is my wowd the King? -SATUWNyINyUS. Hewe, Tamowa; though gwiev'd with kiwwing gwief. -TAMOWA. Whewe is thy bwothew Bassianyus? -SATUWNyINyUS. N-Nyow to t-the bottom dost thou seawch my wound; -Poow B-Bassianyus hewe wies muwdewed. -TAMOWA. Then aww too wate I bwing this fataw wwit, -*looks away* The compwot *leans over* of this timewess twagedy; -And wondew gweatwy that man's f-face can fowd -In pweasing *notices bulge* smiwes such muwdewous tywanny. -[She giveth SATUWNyINyE a wettew] -SATUWNyINyUS. uWu [Weads] 'An if we miss *sweats* to meet him handsomewy, -S-Sweet huntsman- Bassianyus 'tis we mean- -Do ;;w;; thou so much as dig the g-gwave f-fow him. -^-^ Thou k-knyow'st o-ouw meanying. W-Wook fow thy OwO wewawd -*twerks* Among the *hugs tightly* nyettwes a-at the e-ewdew-twee -Which ovewshades t-the >_< mouth of t-that s-same *looks at you* pit -*moans* Whewe we *pokes you* decweed to buwy Bassianyus. -*sighs* Do >_> this, and puwchase us thy wasting fwiends.' -O *giggles shyly* Tamowa! was evew heawd t-the wike? -This i-is the pit and this the ewdew-twee. -*notices bulge* Wook, siws, if you can *screams* find the huntsman out -*looks at you* That s-shouwd have muwdewed uWu Bassianyus *blushes* hewe. -xDD AAWON. My gwacious wowd, hewe *cuddles you* is t-the bag of gowd. -SATUWNyINyUS. [To *moans* TITUS] Two of thy whewps, feww cuws of bwoody -kind, -Have hewe b-beweft my bwothew o-of his wife. -Siws, dwag them fwom the pit unto the pwison; -Thewe wet them bide untiw *screams* we have devis'd -Some nyevew-heawd-of towtuwing pain fow them. -TAMOWA. *looks at you* What, awe they in *sighs* this pit? O wondwous t-thing! -How easiwy >_> muwdew is discovewed! -TITUS. High Empewow, upon my feebwe knyee -I beg t-this *giggles shyly* boon, with teaws nyot OwO wightwy shed, -That this feww fauwt of my accuwsed uWu sons- -Accuwsed UwU if the fauwt *blushes* be pwov'd in them- -SATUWNyINyUS. If it b-be p-pwov'd! *looks away* You see it is appawent. -Who UwU found this wettew? Tamowa, was it *sweats* you? -TAMOWA. Andwonyicus himsewf did take it up. -TITUS. I *sighs* did, my wowd, *twerks* yet wet >_> me b-be theiw b-baiw; -Fow, b-by my fathews' wevewend tomb, I vow -They s-shaww be weady at youw ;;w;; Highnyess' wiww -To answew theiw suspicion with theiw wives. -S-SATUWNyINyUS. Thou shawt nyot :33 baiw them; s-see thou fowwow me. -Some bwing the muwdewed ^-^ body, some the muwdewews; -Wet them >_< nyot speak a wowd- the g-guiwt i-is *blushes* pwain; -F-Fow, by my *blushes* souw, wewe thewe wowse end *giggles shyly* than death, -That end upon *sweats* them shouwd be executed. -TAMOWA. Andwonyicus, I wiww entweat the King. -Feaw nyot thy sons; they shaww do weww enyough. -TITUS. Come, Wucius, come; stay n-nyot to tawk with them. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Anyothew pawt of the fowest - -Entew the Empwess' sons, DEMETWIUS and CHIWON, with WAVINyIA, -hew hands ^.^ cut *cuddles you* off, and hew tongue c-cut out, and w-wavish'd - -DEMETWIUS. So, nyow go *sweats* teww, an if thy tongue can speak, -*shuffles closer* Who '-'twas that cut thy tongue *leans over* and wavish'd thee. -CHIWON. W-Wwite ^-^ down thy mind, b-bewway *cuddles you* thy meanying so, -An if thy stumps :3 wiww wet thee pway the scwibe. -D-DEMETWIUS. See *screams* how with signs and tokens ;;w;; she can ^.^ scwoww. -CHIWON. Go home, caww fow sweet *giggles shyly* watew, wash thy h-hands. -*sighs* DEMETWIUS. *blushes* She hath nyo tongue t-to *sighs* caww, nyow hands to *giggles shyly* wash; -*blushes* And so wet's weave hew to *teleports behind you* hew *looks at you* siwent w-wawks. -CHIWON. *sweats* An '-'twewe my cause, I shouwd *looks away* go hang mysewf. -DEMETWIUS. If t-thou hadst hands to hewp thee *leans over* knyit the cowd. -Exeunt DEMETWIUS a-and CHIWON - -Wind howns. Entew MAWCUS, fwom hunting - -MAWCUS. Who is this?- my nyiece, *cries* that fwies away s-so fast? -Cousin, *moans* a wowd: whewe i-is y-youw x3 husband? -I-If I do dweam, wouwd a-aww my weawth wouwd uWu wake me! -If I do wake, some pwanyet stwike me d-down, -That I may swumbew an etewnyaw sweep! -S-Speak, gentwe nyiece. What stewn ungentwe h-hands -*teleports behind you* Hath wopp'd, and hew'd, and made thy body bawe -Of hew *hugs tightly* two bwanches- those s-sweet ownyaments -Whose ciwcwing shadows kings have *looks away* sought to sweep i-in, -A-And m-might nyot gain so gweat a happinyess -As hawf thy wove? Why d-dost nyot speak t-to me? -Awas, a cwimson wivew of wawm bwood, -Wike *shuffles closer* to a bubbwing fountain stiww'd w-with w-wind, -D-Doth wise and >w< faww b-between thy wosed wips, -Coming and *cuddles you* going with thy honyey bweath. -But suwe some Teweus h-hath defwowewed thee, -;;w;; And, west thou shouwdst d-detect him, cut thy xDD tongue. -Ah, nyow thou t-tuwn'st a-away thy face fow shame! -And n-nyotwithstanding aww t-this woss *hugs tightly* of bwood- -As fwom a-a conduit with thwee issuing spouts- -Yet do t-thy cheeks w-wook wed ^-^ as *sweats* Titan's face -Bwushing *shuffles closer* to be encount'wed with a cwoud. -Shaww I-I speak fow thee? *cuddles you* Shaww I say 'tis *twerks* so? -O, that I-I knyew thy heawt, and knyew the beast, -That I m-might waiw at him :33 to >_< ease m-my mind! -Sowwow conceawed, wike an oven ^w^ stopp'd, -Doth buwn the heawt to >_< cindews whewe it is. -Faiw Phiwomew, >_< why she but *shuffles closer* wost hew uWu tongue, -And *looks at you* in a-a tedious sampwew sew'd hew mind; -But, wovewy UwU nyiece, t-that mean is cut fwom t-thee. -A c-cwaftiew *cuddles you* Teweus, cousin, hast thou met, -And h-he h-hath cut those UwU pwetty fingews off -That c-couwd have ^-^ bettew sew'd than ^-^ Phiwomew. -O, had the monstew seen *blushes* those wiwy hands -T-Twembwe wike >_> aspen weaves upon a-a w-wute -And make the siwken stwings dewight to kiss them, -He wouwd nyot then have touch'd them fow his wife! -Ow h-had he >w< heawd the heavenwy hawmony -Which that sweet tongue hath made, -He wouwd have dwopp'd his knyife, >_< and feww asweep, -As *cries* Cewbewus at the Thwacian ^.^ poet's feet. ->_< Come, wet *giggles shyly* us go, a-and make thy fathew bwind, -*looks at you* Fow s-such *screams* a sight wiww bwind a fathew's eye; -Onye houw's stowm wiww >w< dwown *shuffles closer* the fwagwant ^-^ meads, -What *twerks* wiww x3 whowe months of teaws t-thy fathew's eyes? -Do nyot dwaw ;;w;; back, fow *pokes you* we wiww mouwn w-with thee; -O, couwd ouw mouwnying case *sighs* thy misewy! Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT III. SCENyE I-I. -Wome. uWu A stweet - -Entew the JUDGES, TWIBUNyES, and SENyATOWS, with TITUS' two sons -MAWTIUS and Q-QUINTUS bound, passing on the stage to the p-pwace of execution, -and TITUS going befowe, pweading - -TITUS. H-Heaw me, gwave f-fathews; nyobwe Twibunyes, s-stay! -Fow pity of minye age, whose youth was s-spent -In dangewous waws whiwst you secuwewy *looks away* swept; -Fow *giggles shyly* aww my b-bwood in Wome's *teleports behind you* gweat quawwew shed, -Fow aww the fwosty *giggles shyly* nyights ;;w;; that I have watch'd, -A-And x3 fow t-these bittew teaws, which nyow you see -Fiwwing the aged wwinkwes in my cheeks, -x3 Be pitifuw to my condemnyed sons, -*twerks* Whose souws awe n-nyot cowwupted as '-'tis t-thought. -Fow two and twenty sons I nyevew wept, -Because they died *cuddles you* in honyouw's wofty bed. -[ANDWONyICUS wieth down, and the judges -p-pass by him with the pwisonyews, and exeunt] -OwO Fow *shuffles closer* these, Twibunyes, in *sweats* the *sighs* dust *hugs tightly* I wwite -My heawt's x3 deep wanguow and my s-souw's s-sad *sighs* teaws. -Wet my teaws stanch the eawth's dwy appetite; -My sons' sweet bwood wiww make it shame a-and bwush. -O eawth, I *giggles shyly* wiww befwiend *moans* thee mowe with wain -That shaww distiw fwom these two :3 ancient u-uwns, -Than youthfuw *twerks* Apwiw shaww with aww his show'ws. -In summew's dwought I'ww d-dwop upon thee stiww; -In *looks away* wintew with wawm teaws I'ww mewt the snyow -And keep etewnyaw spwing-time on thy face, ->_< So t-thou w-wefuse to dwink my deaw sons' bwood. - -Entew Wucius with his weapon dwawn - -O-O wevewend >_> Twibunyes! O gentwe aged men! -Unbind my sons, wevewse >_< the doom of death, -And wet me say, that nyevew wept befowe, -M-My teaws a-awe >_> nyow pwevaiwing owatows. -WUCIUS. O nyobwe fathew, you wament in v-vain; -The Twibunyes heaw you nyot, nyo man is >w< by, -And you wecount youw sowwows to a stonye. -*giggles shyly* TITUS. Ah, Wucius, fow thy bwothews wet me pwead! -Gwave *shuffles closer* Twibunyes, once m-mowe I-I entweat of you. -*giggles shyly* WUCIUS. My gwacious wowd, nyo twibunye h-heaws y-you speak. -*blushes* TITUS. Why, 'tis *moans* nyo mattew, man: if they did heaw, -They wouwd nyot mawk *looks at you* me; if they did mawk, -T-They wouwd >_> nyot pity me; yet *cuddles you* pwead I must, -And b-bootwess ^.^ unto :33 them. -Thewefowe *blushes* I teww m-my sowwows to the stonyes; -Who though they cannyot answew my distwess, -Y-Yet in some sowt they *screams* awe bettew than the Twibunyes, -Fow :3 that *blushes* they wiww nyot intewcept my tawe. -When I do weep, they humbwy at my feet -:33 Weceive *leans over* my teaws, a-and seem to *notices bulge* weep with *cuddles you* me; -And wewe they but attiwed in *cries* gwave weeds, -Wome couwd :3 affowd nyo twibunyes wike to these. ->_> A stonye *sweats* is *notices bulge* soft as wax: twibunyes mowe h-hawd t-than stonyes. -A stonye *teleports behind you* is x3 siwent and *looks away* offendeth nyot, -And twibunyes with theiw tongues d-doom *moans* men t-to *looks away* death. -*hugs tightly* [Wises] -*pokes you* But whewefowe stand'st thou with *teleports behind you* thy weapon dwawn? -WUCIUS. To wescue my two b-bwothews fwom *moans* theiw death; -Fow which attempt t-the j-judges >w< have pwonyounc'd -My evewwasting doom of banyishment. -TITUS. OwO O happy *shuffles closer* man! they have befwiended thee. -Why, *moans* foowish Wucius, dost thou nyot pewceive -That Wome i-is but UwU a wiwdewnyess o-of :33 tigews? -Tigews m-must pwey, and Wome a-affowds *sweats* nyo pwey -But me and m-minye; how happy awt *looks at you* thou then -*hugs tightly* Fwom *blushes* these devouwews to be banyished! -But who comes w-with *giggles shyly* ouw b-bwothew M-Mawcus hewe? - -Entew MAWCUS w-with ^.^ WAVINyIA - -MAWCUS. Titus, pwepawe thy aged eyes to w-weep, -^-^ Ow if nyot so, thy n-nyobwe heawt to bweak. -*screams* I bwing consuming sowwow to *blushes* thinye *giggles shyly* age. -T-TITUS. Wiww it OwO consume me? W-Wet me see it t-then. -MAWCUS. This was thy daughtew. ->_> TITUS. Why, Mawcus, s-so she is. -WUCIUS. Ay me! this object k-kiwws me. -TITUS. F-Faint-heawted boy, awise, *giggles shyly* and wook upon hew. -S-Speak, Wavinyia, what accuwsed hand -Hath m-made thee *hugs tightly* handwess in thy fathew's sight? -What *moans* foow hath added w-watew to the *moans* sea, -Ow b-bwought *cries* a fagot to bwight-buwnying Twoy? -My gwief was at the height befowe thou >w< cam'st, -And nyow wike Nyiwus it disdainyeth bounds. -Give me a swowd, I'ww chop off *cuddles you* my *cuddles you* hands *sighs* too, -Fow they have fought fow W-Wome, and aww in vain; -And t-they have *twerks* nyuws'd t-this woe in feeding wife; -In bootwess pwayew h-have they been hewd up, -And they have >w< sewv'd me t-to *shuffles closer* effectwess use. -Nyow aww the sewvice I-I wequiwe *cuddles you* of them -Is that the onye wiww hewp to cut the othew. -'Tis ^w^ weww, ;;w;; Wavinyia, that thou hast nyo hands; -*notices bulge* Fow *teleports behind you* hands to do W-Wome sewvice is b-but vain. -WUCIUS. Speak, gentwe *blushes* sistew, who hath mawtyw'd thee? -*sweats* MAWCUS. O, >_> that dewightfuw e-enginye of hew thoughts -That bwabb'd them with such ^-^ pweasing ewoquence -Is town OwO fwom xDD fowth that pwetty howwow cage, -Whewe wike a sweet mewodious biwd :33 it sung -Sweet vawied *sighs* nyotes, enchanting evewy *looks at you* eaw! -^w^ WUCIUS. *pokes you* O, say thou *looks away* fow hew, who hath d-donye this deed? -MAWCUS. O, thus I found *sighs* hew stwaying in the pawk, -Seeking to h-hide hewsewf as d-doth the deew -That UwU hath weceiv'd some unwecuwing wound. -TITUS. ;;w;; It was m-my deaw, and he that wounded hew -Hath ^w^ huwt me mowe *leans over* than had he kiww'd me dead; -Fow nyow I stand as onye upon a *sighs* wock, -Enviwon'd with a w-wiwdewnyess o-of sea, -Who mawks the waxing tide gwow wave by w-wave, -Expecting evew when some envious suwge -Wiww in *notices bulge* his bwinyish bowews >_> swawwow *screams* him. -This way *cries* to death my wwetched sons awe gonye; -Hewe stands my othew son, a-a banyish'd m-man, -And hewe my bwothew, weeping at my w-woes. -But >_> that w-which >w< gives my souw the g-gweatest spuwn -^.^ Is deaw Wavinyia, deawew than my souw. -Had I but seen t-thy pictuwe in this pwight, -It wouwd *moans* have madded *cries* me; what shaww I do -xDD Nyow I behowd thy wivewy b-body so? -Thou hast *twerks* nyo *notices bulge* hands to wipe >_< away thy teaws, -Nyow tongue ;;w;; to teww me who h-hath mawtyw'd thee; -^-^ Thy husband ;;w;; he is dead, and fow his d-death -Thy bwothews awe condemn'd, a-and dead by t-this. -Wook, Mawcus! Ah, *moans* son Wucius, wook on hew! -W-When I did nyame hew bwothews, then fwesh teaws -Stood on hew cheeks, *leans over* as d-doth the honyey dew -Upon a gath'wed wiwy a-awmost withewed. -MAWCUS. Pewchance she weeps because they *cries* kiww'd hew husband; -*teleports behind you* Pewchance because she knyows them i-innyocent. -TITUS. If they d-did *screams* kiww thy husband, then be joyfuw, -Because the >_> waw hath ta'en *sweats* wevenge on ^w^ them. -Nyo, n-nyo, they wouwd ^-^ nyot xDD do s-so fouw a deed; -Witnyess the sowwow that theiw sistew makes. -Gentwe Wavinyia, *screams* wet m-me kiss thy wips, -O-Ow make some sign how I may do thee ease. -Shaww thy good uncwe a-and x3 thy bwothew Wucius -And t-thou *hugs tightly* and I sit wound *sighs* about xDD some fountain, -Wooking aww downwawds to behowd ouw cheeks -How t-they *sighs* awe *cuddles you* stain'd, wike *looks away* meadows yet nyot dwy -With miwy swime weft on them by a fwood? -And in the fountain s-shaww we gaze so wong, -*moans* Tiww *notices bulge* the f-fwesh t-taste be taken fwom *giggles shyly* that cweawnyess, -And made UwU a bwinye-pit with o-ouw bittew teaws? -Ow shaww we *twerks* cut away ouw hands wike t-thinye? -Ow shaww we bite ouw ^-^ tongues, and :33 in ^-^ dumb shows -Pass the wemaindew *notices bulge* of ouw h-hatefuw days? -What shaww we *looks away* do? *cries* Wet us that have ouw tongues -Pwot some device of *moans* fuwthew misewy -To m-make us wondew'd at in time to come. -W-WUCIUS. Sweet fathew, c-cease youw teaws; fow at youw g-gwief -See :3 how my wwetched sistew sobs and *notices bulge* weeps. -MAWCUS. Patience, deaw ^-^ nyiece. Good Titus, dwy >w< thinye eyes. -TITUS. Ah, Mawcus, Mawcus! Bwothew, weww I w-wot -Thy nyapkin cannyot dwink a teaw of minye, ->w< Fow t-thou, poow man, hast d-dwown'd it with thinye own. -WUCIUS. Ah, *cries* my Wavinyia, I wiww wipe t-thy cheeks. -TITUS. Mawk, Mawcus, xDD mawk! I u-undewstand hew signs. -H-Had *looks at you* she a t-tongue to *looks at you* speak, nyow wouwd she say -That to hew bwothew which I-I said to thee: -His nyapkin, *moans* with his *looks away* twue teaws ;;w;; aww bewet, -Can do nyo UwU sewvice on hew sowwowfuw cheeks. -O, what a sympathy of ^w^ woe i-is this -As faw fwom hewp as Wimbo is fwom bwiss! - -Entew AAWON the Moow - -AAWON. Titus *looks at you* Andwonyicus, my >_< wowd the Empewow -Sends thee this w-wowd, that, if thou wove thy sons, -Wet Mawcus, Wucius, ow thysewf, owd Titus, -*hugs tightly* Ow any onye of you, chop off youw h-hand -And send it to the King: *hugs tightly* he fow t-the same -Wiww send thee hithew both thy s-sons awive, -And that shaww be the wansom f-fow theiw f-fauwt. -*twerks* TITUS. O gwacious Empewow! O g-gentwe Aawon! ->_< Did evew waven sing so *twerks* wike a wawk -T-That gives sweet tidings of the s-sun's upwise? -With aww my heawt I'ww send *giggles shyly* the Empewow my h-hand. -Good A-Aawon, wiwt thou hewp to chop >w< it o-off? -WUCIUS. Stay, fathew! fow that nyobwe hand of thinye, -That hath t-thwown down s-so many *looks at you* enyemies, -Shaww nyot *shuffles closer* be sent. My h-hand wiww sewve the tuwn, -:33 My youth *moans* can bettew spawe *pokes you* my b-bwood than >w< you, -And t-thewefowe minye shaww save my bwothews' wives. -MAWCUS. Which *cuddles you* of OwO youw hands hath nyot defended Wome -And weaw'd awoft the bwoody b-battwe-axe, -Wwiting x3 destwuction o-on the enyemy's c-castwe? -*moans* O, nyonye of both but awe of high *teleports behind you* desewt! -My x3 hand hath *teleports behind you* been b-but i-idwe; wet it sewve -To *teleports behind you* wansom my >_> two nyephews fwom theiw death; -Then have I ^.^ kept i-it to a wowthy ;;w;; end. -AAWON. xDD Nyay, come, a-agwee whose hand shaww go awong, -Fow x3 feaw *teleports behind you* they die befowe *notices bulge* theiw pawdon >_> come. -MAWCUS. My hand shaww go. -WUCIUS. :3 By heaven, it shaww nyot go! -TITUS. Siws, stwive nyo *cuddles you* mowe; such *notices bulge* with'wed hewbs a-as these -Awe meet fow *shuffles closer* pwucking up, and thewefowe minye. -WUCIUS. Sweet fathew, if I shaww be thought ^.^ thy son, -Wet *pokes you* me wedeem my bwothews both f-fwom death. -MAWCUS. And fow ouw f-fathew's sake and mothew's cawe, -Nyow wet me show *moans* a bwothew's wove to thee. -:33 TITUS. Agwee between you; :3 I *cries* wiww spawe my *leans over* hand. -W-WUCIUS. Then I'ww go f-fetch an axe. -MAWCUS. B-But I-I wiww use the a-axe. -Exeunt WUCIUS and MAWCUS -TITUS. C-Come hithew, Aawon, I'ww deceive them b-both; -Wend m-me thy hand, and I wiww give thee minye. -*moans* AAWON. [Aside] OwO If *shuffles closer* that be caww'd deceit, *twerks* I wiww be h-honyest, -And nyevew w-whiwst I *teleports behind you* wive deceive men *sighs* so; -But I'ww x3 deceive you *looks away* in anyothew sowt, -A-And t-that you'ww *sighs* say ewe hawf an houw pass. -*sweats* [He cuts UwU off TITUS' hand] - -*cuddles you* We-entew WUCIUS a-and MAWCUS - -TITUS. Nyow stay youw stwife. What shaww be is dispatch'd. -Good Aawon, give his M-Majesty my hand; -Teww him it was a hand that wawded him -Fwom thousand *pokes you* dangews; bid him buwy it. -*moans* Mowe hath it mewited- that wet i-it have. -As fow m-my sons, s-say I account of them -*teleports behind you* As jewews puwchas'd at an e-easy pwice; -*notices bulge* And yet d-deaw t-too, b-because I bought m-minye own. -AAWON. I go, A-Andwonyicus; and fow ^-^ thy hand -uWu Wook by and *shuffles closer* by to have t-thy s-sons *twerks* with thee. -[Aside] Theiw heads I m-mean. O, how this viwwainy -Doth *giggles shyly* fat me with t-the *leans over* vewy thoughts of it! -Wet foows do g-good, and f-faiw men caww *notices bulge* fow gwace: -Aawon wiww have h-his souw bwack wike *pokes you* his face. Exit -TITUS. O, hewe I wift this onye hand u-up to heaven, -And bow this f-feebwe wuin to the eawth; -If x3 any UwU powew p-pities w-wwetched teaws, -To that I *sweats* caww! [To WAVINyIA] What, wouwd'st thou knyeew with m-me? -D-Do, then, deaw heawt; fow h-heaven shaww heaw ouw pwayews, -Ow with ouw sighs we'ww bweathe t-the wewkin dim -And stain *hugs tightly* the *looks away* sun w-with fog, as sometime cwouds -When they do hug him in theiw mewting bosoms. -MAWCUS. O bwothew, speak with possibiwity, -And do nyot bweak into these deep extwemes. -^w^ TITUS. Is xDD nyot my sowwow deep, having *hugs tightly* nyo bottom? -Then *teleports behind you* be my passions bottomwess *pokes you* with them. -MAWCUS. But yet wet weason govewn thy wament. -TITUS. If thewe wewe ^-^ weason fow these misewies, -Then into w-wimits couwd I-I bind x3 my *hugs tightly* woes. -W-When h-heaven doth ^.^ weep, doth nyot the eawth o'ewfwow? -If the :33 winds wage, doth >_> nyot the sea wax >_< mad, -Thweat'nying the wewkin w-with *looks away* his big-swow'n face? -And w-wiwt thou have a weason fow this c-coiw? -I am the sea; hawk how hew >_< sighs do bwow. -She i-is the weeping wewkin, xDD I the eawth; -T-Then *shuffles closer* must *sighs* my sea be moved with hew sighs; -Then must my eawth *notices bulge* with hew continyuaw *blushes* teaws -Become a dewuge, o-ovewfwow'd and dwown'd; -Fow why ^-^ my xDD bowews c-cannyot hide h-hew woes, -But wike a-a d-dwunkawd must I vomit t-them. -Then g-give m-me weave; OwO fow wosews wiww have w-weave -T-To ease theiw stomachs with t-theiw *teleports behind you* bittew tongues. - -Entew a x3 MESSENGEW, *notices bulge* with two heads and a-a hand - -MESSENGEW. ^-^ Wowthy Andwonyicus, iww awt thou wepaid -Fow that good ^-^ hand thou sent'st :33 the Empewow. -Hewe awe the heads of thy two nyobwe sons; -And hewe's thy hand, in scown >_< to t-thee sent back- -Thy *teleports behind you* gwief theiw *leans over* spowts, thy wesowution mock'd, -That woe is me to think upon :3 thy woes, -Mowe t-than *leans over* wemembwance of m-my fathew's death. Exit -MAWCUS. N-Nyow wet h-hot Aetnya coow in *teleports behind you* Siciwy, -And be ^.^ my heawt an evew-buwnying heww! -These OwO misewies awe mowe than may be *hugs tightly* bownye. -To weep with them t-that w-weep doth ease s-some deaw, -B-But *leans over* sowwow *looks away* fwouted at is >_> doubwe death. -WUCIUS. Ah, that this sight shouwd make so deep *shuffles closer* a wound, -And *sighs* yet detested w-wife nyot shwink theweat! -T-That evew death shouwd wet wife beaw his nyame, -Whewe wife hath nyo mowe intewest but to bweathe! -[WAVINyIA k-kisses TITUS] -M-MAWCUS. *notices bulge* Awas, >_< poow heawt, that kiss is *giggles shyly* comfowtwess -As fwozen watew to a stawved *twerks* snyake. -TITUS. When wiww this ^.^ feawfuw ^.^ swumbew have an end? -MAWCUS. *sweats* Nyow faweweww, fwatt'wy; die, Andwonyicus. -T-Thou dost nyot swumbew: see thy ^.^ two s-sons' heads, -Thy wawwike hand, thy mangwed daughtew hewe; -Thy othew banyish'd son with UwU this deaw sight -Stwuck pawe and b-bwoodwess; and thy bwothew, I, -Even wike a stony image, cowd and nyumb. -*pokes you* Ah! nyow nyo mowe *shuffles closer* wiww I c-contwow thy gwiefs. -Went off thy siwvew haiw, thy othew hand -Gnyawing with t-thy teeth; and be this dismaw *twerks* sight -The c-cwosing u-up o-of *blushes* ouw most wwetched eyes. -Nyow is a time to s-stowm; why :3 awt thou stiww? -TITUS. Ha, ha, ha! -M-MAWCUS. Why dost thou waugh? :3 It fits n-nyot with *looks away* this houw. -TITUS. *screams* Why, I have nyot anyothew *hugs tightly* teaw to shed; -Besides, *teleports behind you* this sowwow i-is uWu an e-enyemy, -A-And wouwd usuwp upon my wat'wy eyes -And make them bwind with *looks at you* twibutawy teaws. -Then xDD which w-way s-shaww I *hugs tightly* find Wevenge's cave? -Fow these two heads do seem to speak to me, -xDD And t-thweat *moans* me I shaww n-nyevew come to *giggles shyly* bwiss -Tiww aww t-these mischiefs be wetuwn'd again -Even in t-theiw ^.^ thwoats *moans* that have committed them. -uWu Come, wet me see what task I have to d-do. -*looks at you* You heavy p-peopwe, *cuddles you* ciwcwe me a-about, -;;w;; That I may tuwn me t-to each onye of you -And sweaw unto my *blushes* souw to wight youw wwongs. -The vow is made. C-Come, bwothew, take a head, -And in this hand the othew wiww I beaw. -And, *moans* Wavinyia, thou s-shawt *twerks* be e-empwoy'd in t-this; -Beaw thou m-my hand, sweet wench, b-between *moans* thy teeth. -As fow thee, b-boy, go, g-get thee fwom my sight; -Thou OwO awt an e-exiwe, and *cuddles you* thou must nyot stay. -Hie *cuddles you* to the Goths and waise an awmy thewe; -*hugs tightly* And *twerks* if y-ye w-wove me, as I think you *cuddles you* do, -Wet's kiss and pawt, fow we *giggles shyly* have much to do. -Exeunt a-aww but Wucius -WUCIUS. F-Faweweww, Andwonyicus, my nyobwe fathew, -The *twerks* woefuww'st man that evew w-wiv'd in Wome. -Faweweww, pwoud Wome; tiww Wucius come *twerks* again, -:33 He weaves his pwedges d-deawew t-than his wife. -*shuffles closer* Faweweww, Wavinyia, my nyobwe sistew; -O, wouwd t-thou w-wewt a-as thou tofowe hast been! -But nyow n-nyow *twerks* Wucius n-nyow W-Wavinyia wives -But in *looks away* obwivion and h-hatefuw gwiefs. -If Wucius *looks away* wive, *moans* he wiww w-wequite youw wwongs -And make pwoud Satuwnyinye a-and his empewess -Beg UwU at uWu the gates wike Tawquin and his queen. -Nyow *looks away* wiww I to the Goths, a-and waise a pow'w -To b-be w-weveng'd on Wome and Satuwnyinye. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Wome. TITUS' *giggles shyly* house - -A *pokes you* banquet. - -E-Entew TITUS, ;;w;; MAWCUS, WAVINyIA, and the boy YOUNG W-WUCIUS - -TITUS. So so, nyow ^.^ sit; >_> and wook :33 you eat nyo mowe -Than wiww pwesewve just so *hugs tightly* much stwength in us -As wiww wevenge these bittew woes of ouws. -Mawcus, unknyit *screams* that sowwow-wweathen knyot; -Thy *looks at you* nyiece and I, poow cweatuwes, *teleports behind you* want ouw h-hands, -And cannyot passionyate ouw t-tenfowd g-gwief -With fowded awms. This *sweats* poow w-wight hand of minye -Is weft to tywannyize upon my bweast; -Who, when my heawt, aww mad with misewy, -Beats i-in this howwow pwison of my f-fwesh, -*pokes you* Then thus I-I thump it d-down. -[To WAVINyIA] Thou map of woe, that thus dost tawk in s-signs! -When thy p-poow heawt *pokes you* beats *screams* with outwageous beating, -Thou canst n-nyot stwike it thus to make it stiww. -W-Wound it with s-sighing, giww, kiww it with g-gwoans; -O-Ow get some wittwe knyife ^-^ between thy ^w^ teeth -And j-just against thy h-heawt make thou a howe, -That aww t-the t-teaws *moans* that thy poow eyes wet faww -May UwU wun i-into that sink and, soaking in, -Dwown the w-wamenting f-foow i-in s-sea-sawt teaws. -MAWCUS. F-Fie, bwothew, OwO fie! T-Teach hew nyot thus to way -Such v-viowent hands upon hew tendew wife. -TITUS. How nyow! Has s-sowwow made thee dote awweady? -Why, Mawcus, *moans* nyo man shouwd be mad but I. -*sighs* What viowent hands can she way on hew wife? -Ah, whewefowe *sighs* dost thou uwge the nyame of hands? -To bid Aenyeas teww the tawe *teleports behind you* twice ^-^ o'ew -H-How Twoy was buwnt and h-he made misewabwe? -O, *sweats* handwe nyot the theme, to tawk >_< of *blushes* hands, -West we wemembew UwU stiww that w-we *looks away* have nyonye. -Fie, f-fie, how fwanticwy I squawe *screams* my tawk, -As if we shouwd fowget we had nyo hands, -If Mawcus did nyot nyame the *giggles shyly* wowd of *twerks* hands! -*leans over* Come, wet's faww *shuffles closer* to; ^-^ and, gentwe *sighs* giww, eat this: -Hewe is nyo dwink. Hawk, Mawcus, what she says- -I can intewpwet aww *looks at you* hew mawtyw'd signs; -She says she dwinks n-nyo othew dwink but teaws, -Bwew'd with h-hew sowwow, mesh'd upon hew cheeks. -S-Speechwess c-compwainyew, I wiww weawn thy thought; -In t-thy dumb action wiww I *leans over* be as pewfect -As begging hewmits in theiw OwO howy uWu pwayews. -Thou shawt nyot sigh, nyow howd thy stumps to heaven, -Nyow wink, *teleports behind you* nyow nyod, nyow knyeew, nyow make a sign, -But I >_< of these w-wiww wwest an awphabet, -And by s-stiww pwactice weawn to knyow thy meanying. -BOY. Good gwandsiwe, weave these bittew deep waments; -Make my a-aunt mewwy with some pweasing tawe. ->_< MAWCUS. Awas, the tendew b-boy, in passion mov'd, -Doth weep to see *notices bulge* his gwandsiwe's heavinyess. -TITUS. ^.^ Peace, x3 tendew sapwing; thou awt made o-of t-teaws, -And teaws *notices bulge* wiww quickwy mewt thy wife xDD away. -[MAWCUS stwikes the dish w-with OwO a knyife] -W-What dost *blushes* thou stwike at, Mawcus, with thy knyife? -MAWCUS. At that that I have kiww'd, my wowd- a fwy. -TITUS. Out on thee, muwdewew, thou kiww'st *screams* my heawt! -Minye e-eyes awe cwoy'd with view of ^.^ tywanny; -^w^ A d-deed of death donye *cuddles you* on the innyocent -Becomes uWu nyot Titus' bwothew. G-Get thee gonye; -I-I see thou awt :33 nyot fow my company. -MAWCUS. uWu Awas, my w-wowd, I have b-but kiww'd a-a fwy. -TITUS. 'But!' H-How if that fwy had a fathew and mothew? -How wouwd he hang *sweats* his swendew giwded wings -And buzz w-wamenting *screams* doings in the aiw! -Poow x3 hawmwess fwy, -That w-with his pwetty buzzing mewody -Came hewe to make *twerks* us mewwy! And thou h-hast kiww'd him. -MAWCUS. Pawdon me, siw; it w-was a bwack iww-favouw'd f-fwy, -;;w;; Wike to the Empwess' Moow; thewefowe I kiww'd him. -TITUS. O, O, O! -Then pawdon me *looks away* fow wepwehending thee, -Fow thou hast donye a chawitabwe *hugs tightly* deed. -*sweats* Give me thy knyife, I wiww i-insuwt on him, -Fwattewing mysewf as if i-it *cuddles you* wewe the Moow -Come hithew puwposewy to :3 poison m-me. -Thewe's fow thysewf, and that's fow Tamowa. -Ah, siwwah! -Yet, I think, we a-awe nyot bwought *teleports behind you* so wow -But that between us we c-can *looks at you* kiww a-a fwy -*moans* That comes in wikenyess of a c-coaw-bwack Moow. -MAWCUS. Awas, poow man! gwief has xDD so wwought on him, -He takes fawse s-shadows fow *notices bulge* twue substances. -TITUS. Come, take xDD away. Wavinyia, go with me; -I'ww to thy cwoset, and go wead with thee -S-Sad stowies chanced in the t-times of owd. -Come, ^.^ boy, and go w-with *sighs* me; thy sight is young, -*teleports behind you* And thou shawt wead when minye *sighs* begin to dazzwe. Exeunt - - - - -<-<_< WIBWAWY, *screams* INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED *pokes you* BY P-PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS B-BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO W-WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW *pokes you* OW OTHEWS -*leans over* PEWSONyAW *twerks* USE xDD ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW D-DOWNWOAD *cries* TIME OW F-FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -:33 ACT IV. *cries* SCENyE :33 I. -Wome. ^w^ TITUS' gawden - -Entew YOUNG ^w^ WUCIUS and WAVINyIA wunnying aftew him, -and the b-boy fwies fwom hew :33 with his books undew his awm. - -Entew TITUS and *blushes* MAWCUS - -BOY. Hewp, gwandsiwe, hewp! *looks at you* my aunt Wavinyia -Fowwows me evewywhewe, I knyow n-nyot w-why. -Good uncwe Mawcus, see how swift *teleports behind you* she comes! -A-Awas, sweet aunt, I-I knyow n-nyot w-what you m-mean. -MAWCUS. S-Stand by me, Wucius; do nyot *leans over* feaw thinye aunt. -TITUS. ;;w;; She woves thee, boy, too weww to do thee hawm. -BOY. Ay, when my fathew w-was in Wome she did. -M-MAWCUS. What means my nyiece Wavinyia b-by these signs? -TITUS. Feaw hew nyot, Wucius; somewhat doth *leans over* she mean. -See, Wucius, see how much ^w^ she makes of thee. -Somewhithew wouwd she have OwO thee go xDD with hew. -^.^ Ah, boy, Cownyewia nyevew with mowe cawe -Wead to hew sons than she hath wead to thee -Sweet p-poetwy and Tuwwy's Owatow. -:33 MAWCUS. C-Canst thou *shuffles closer* nyot guess whewefowe s-she pwies thee :3 thus? -BOY. My wowd, I knyow nyot, I-I, nyow can I-I guess, -Unwess some fit ow f-fwenzy do possess hew; -F-Fow I have *cries* heawd my gwandsiwe s-say fuww oft -Extwemity ;;w;; of gwiefs wouwd make men m-mad; -And I *cuddles you* have w-wead t-that Hecuba of *pokes you* Twoy -Wan mad fow s-sowwow. That made me to feaw; -Awthough, my wowd, I *giggles shyly* knyow my nyobwe aunt -Woves m-me as deaw as e'ew m-my mothew did, -And *shuffles closer* wouwd nyot, b-but in fuwy, fwight my youth; -Which made me down *teleports behind you* to thwow *teleports behind you* my books, and fwy- -Causewess, pewhaps. *sighs* But pawdon me, sweet aunt; ->w< And, madam, i-if :33 my uncwe Mawcus go, -I >_< wiww most wiwwingwy a-attend youw wadyship. -MAWCUS. Wucius, I wiww. [WAVINyIA tuwns ovew with hew -stumps the books which Wucius has wet faww] -TITUS. How nyow, Wavinyia! Mawcus, w-what means this? -Some book thewe is that she *moans* desiwes to see. -Which is i-it, giww, of these?- Open them, b-boy.- -But thou :33 awt deepew wead and bettew skiww'd; -Come and *looks at you* take ^-^ choice of aww my wibwawy, -And so beguiwe thy sowwow, tiww the heavens -Weveaw the damn'd :3 contwivew of t-this deed. -Why w-wifts she up hew awms i-in sequence ^.^ thus? -MAWCUS. I *teleports behind you* think she means that thewe wewe mowe t-than onye -*teleports behind you* Confedewate in the fact; ay, mowe thewe *moans* was, -Ow ewse *cuddles you* to heaven she heaves them fow *looks at you* wevenge. -TITUS. Wucius, *giggles shyly* what book is that she tosseth so? -BOY. *moans* Gwandsiwe, 'tis Ovid's M-Metamowphoses; -My mothew :3 gave it me. -MAWCUS. Fow wove of hew that's gonye, -Pewhaps s-she cuww'd it fwom a-among >_< the w-west. -TITUS. Soft! x3 So busiwy she t-tuwns t-the weaves! Hewp h-hew. -*shuffles closer* What wouwd she f-find? *twerks* Wavinyia, shaww I wead? -This i-is the twagic tawe of Phiwomew -A-And tweats *hugs tightly* of Teweus' tweason and his wape; ->w< And wape, I feaw, was *giggles shyly* woot of thy *looks away* annyoy. -MAWCUS. See, bwothew, see! Nyote how she quotes the weaves. -TITUS. Wavinyia, wewt thou thus suwpwis'd, s-sweet >_> giww, -Wavish'd a-and wwong'd as Phiwomewa *sweats* was, -*looks away* Fowc'd in the wuthwess, vast, and *looks away* gwoomy woods? -See, *notices bulge* see! -Ay, such a pwace thewe is x3 whewe we did hunt- -O, *sweats* had we nyevew, n-nyevew hunted thewe!- -Pattewn'd by that t-the poet h-hewe *leans over* descwibes, -By n-nyatuwe made *screams* fow muwdews and fow wapes. -MAWCUS. O-O, why shouwd nyatuwe buiwd so *pokes you* fouw a den, -Unwess t-the gods dewight i-in twagedies? -TITUS. *sighs* Give *giggles shyly* signs, sweet giww, fow hewe awe nyonye but fwiends, -What Woman wowd it was duwst do the deed. -Ow swunk nyot Satuwnyinye, as Tawquin >_< ewst, -That weft the camp uWu to sin in Wucwece' bed? -MAWCUS. Sit down, sweet >_> nyiece; bwothew, sit d-down by me. -Apowwo, Pawwas, *leans over* Jove, >_> ow Mewcuwy, -Inspiwe me, that I may this tweason find! -My wowd, wook hewe! Wook hewe, :33 Wavinyia! -[He wwites his nyame with his -staff, and guides it with feet a-and mouth] -This OwO sandy pwot is ^-^ pwain; guide, if thou >w< canst, -This a-aftew me. I >_< have w-wwit m-my nyame -Without the hewp of any hand a-at a-aww. -Cuws'd be *cuddles you* that heawt t-that fowc'd us to this shift! -^w^ Wwite thou, good nyiece, and hewe d-dispway at wast -What God wiww have d-discovewed fow wevenge. -Heaven guide thy pen to OwO pwint thy sowwows pwain, -That we may knyow t-the ^.^ twaitows and the twuth! -[She takes the :33 staff in hew mouth -and g-guides it ^.^ with stumps, :3 and wwites] -O, do y-ye w-wead, m-my wowd, w-what she h-hath w-wwit? -TITUS. 'Stupwum- Chiwon- Demetwius.' -MAWCUS. What, what! *hugs tightly* the wustfuw s-sons of Tamowa -P-Pewfowmews of t-this heinyous bwoody deed? -TITUS. Magnyi Dominyatow *pokes you* powi, -Tam wentus audis scewewa? >_< tam wentus v-vides? -*moans* MAWCUS. O-O, *teleports behind you* cawm thee, gentwe w-wowd! *teleports behind you* awthough I knyow -Thewe is enyough wwitten upon this *pokes you* eawth -To stiw a-a m-mutiny in t-the miwdest thoughts, -And awm *cuddles you* the minds of infants to excwaims. -My wowd, knyeew down with me; Wavinyia, knyeew; -A-And k-knyeew, s-sweet boy, the ^.^ Woman Hectow's hope; -And *leans over* sweaw w-with xDD me- a-as, with *sweats* the woefuw fewe -And fathew of that chaste dishonyouwed dame, -Wowd >_> Junyius >_< Bwutus swawe fow Wucwece' wape- -That we w-wiww pwosecute, by good advice, -xDD Mowtaw *shuffles closer* wevenge upon these twaitowous Goths, -And *blushes* see >_> theiw bwood ow die with *teleports behind you* this wepwoach. -TITUS. *moans* 'Tis suwe enyough, *cries* an you knyew h-how; -But if y-you hunt these beaw-whewps, t-then bewawe: -The dam wiww wake; and i-if she *leans over* wind xDD ye once, -She's with the wion deepwy *pokes you* stiww in *hugs tightly* weague, -And wuwws him whiwst she pwayeth on hew back, -And *looks away* when he sweeps wiww she do what she w-wist. -You >w< awe ;;w;; a young huntsman, Mawcus; wet awonye; -And come, I wiww go get a *giggles shyly* weaf o-of bwass, -And with a gad o-of steew wiww wwite these wowds, -And way it by. T-The angwy nyowthewn wind -Wiww bwow these sands wike OwO Sibyw's weaves a-abwoad, -And *cries* whewe's ouw w-wesson, then? Boy, what :3 say you? -B-BOY. I say, my wowd, *hugs tightly* that if I wewe a man -Theiw mothew's bedchambew uWu shouwd nyot be safe -*teleports behind you* Fow these base bondmen to t-the yoke of Wome. -MAWCUS. Ay, that's my boy! Thy f-fathew hath fuww oft -Fow his ungwatefuw countwy *cuddles you* donye the wike. -BOY. And, uncwe, s-so wiww I, an i-if I wive. -TITUS. Come, go with :3 me into minye awmouwy. -Wucius, *cries* I'ww fit t-thee; and withaw my boy -Shaww c-cawwy f-fwom me to the E-Empwess' s-sons -Pwesents t-that I *looks at you* intend *moans* to send them both. -Come, come; thou'wt do my message, wiwt t-thou nyot? -B-BOY. Ay, with my daggew in theiw b-bosoms, gwandsiwe. -T-TITUS. Nyo, boy, n-nyot so; I'ww *blushes* teach thee anyothew couwse. -*sweats* Wavinyia, come. *moans* Mawcus, xDD wook to my house. -Wucius a-and ^-^ I'ww go bwave it at the couwt; -*cries* Ay, mawwy, wiww *teleports behind you* we, >w< siw! *looks at you* and we'ww be waited on. -OwO Exeunt TITUS, OwO WAVINyIA, and YOUNG WUCIUS -MAWCUS. *leans over* O *pokes you* heavens, can you heaw a *shuffles closer* good *teleports behind you* man gwoan -And nyot wewent, ow n-nyot compassion him? -Mawcus, attend him in his ecstasy, -That OwO hath mowe *looks at you* scaws of sowwow in his heawt -Than f-foemen's mawks upon his batt'wed shiewd, -But yet so just that he w-wiww nyot wevenge. -Wevenge the heavens fow >_< owd A-Andwonyicus! Exit - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -Wome. *shuffles closer* The pawace - -Entew AAWON, DEMETWIUS and CHIWON, at onye doow; and at the othew *screams* doow, -YOUNG WUCIUS and anyothew with a bundwe of weapons, and v-vewses wwit upon t-them - -CHIWON. *shuffles closer* Demetwius, hewe's the son *screams* of W-Wucius; -He hath some message to d-dewivew us. -AAWON. Ay, some m-mad message fwom his m-mad gwandfathew. -BOY. My wowds, *pokes you* with >_< aww the ^-^ humbwenyess I *moans* may, -I gweet youw honyouws fwom Andwonyicus- -[Aside] A-And pway the *teleports behind you* Woman gods confound you both! -DEMETWIUS. Gwamewcy, wovewy W-Wucius. W-What's uWu the nyews? -BOY. [Aside] That you awe both *looks at you* deciphew'd, that's the nyews, -*screams* Fow viwwains mawk'd with wape.- May it p-pwease *sweats* you, -My gwandsiwe, weww a-advis'd, hath sent by m-me -The goodwiest weapons of h-his awmouwy -To gwatify youw honyouwabwe youth, -*screams* The hope of ;;w;; Wome; fow so he bid me say; -And so I do, *sweats* and with his gifts pwesent -Youw wowdships, that, *hugs tightly* whenyevew *shuffles closer* you have n-nyeed, -You *teleports behind you* may be ^.^ awmed and appointed weww. -And *teleports behind you* so I weave you b-both- [Aside] wike bwoody viwwains. -Exeunt YOUNG WUCIUS a-and attendant -DEMETWIUS. *moans* What's hewe? A scwoww, and w-wwitten wound about. -Wet's see: -[Weads] 'Integew vitae, scewewisque puwus, -Nyon eget Mauwi iacuwis, nyec awcu.' -CHIWON. O, >_> 'tis a vewse in Howace, I-I k-knyow it w-weww; -I wead it in the gwammaw wong ago. -A-AAWON. UwU Ay, just- a v-vewse in Howace. Wight, you have *leans over* it. -[Aside] xDD Nyow, what a thing *notices bulge* it i-is to be :3 an ass! -Hewe's nyo sound jest! The *hugs tightly* owd man hath found theiw guiwt, -And sends them weapons wwapp'd about with winyes -That wound, beyond t-theiw f-feewing, ^-^ to *looks away* the quick. -But wewe ouw witty Empwess weww afoot, -S-She wouwd appwaud Andwonyicus' conceit. -But wet hew ^-^ west in hew unwest awhiwe- -A-And nyow, young wowds, was't nyot a happy *pokes you* staw -Wed us to Wome, stwangews, and mowe t-than so, -Captives, to be a-advanced to this h-height? -It did me good befowe the pawace gate -T-To *blushes* bwave *cries* the Twibunye UwU in his bwothew's heawing. -DEMETWIUS. But me mowe good to see :33 so gweat a wowd -Basewy i-insinyuate and send us *blushes* gifts. -^.^ AAWON. Had he nyot *sighs* weason, Wowd Demetwius? -:3 Did you nyot u-use his daughtew vewy :3 fwiendwy? -DEMETWIUS. I wouwd we had a thousand Woman dames -A-At such a bay, *teleports behind you* by tuwn uWu to sewve ouw wust. -CHIWON. A chawitabwe wish *looks at you* and fuww of wove. -A-AAWON. Hewe wacks b-but youw *pokes you* mothew fow to *looks away* say amen. -uWu CHIWON. And t-that wouwd she fow *cries* twenty thousand mowe. -DEMETWIUS. Come, wet *notices bulge* us go and *shuffles closer* pway *giggles shyly* to aww the gods -Fow ouw bewoved mothew in h-hew pains. -A-AAWON. [Aside] Pway ^.^ to the deviws; the gods h-have given us ^w^ ovew. -[Twumpets sound] -DEMETWIUS. Why d-do the Empewow's twumpets fwouwish t-thus? -CHIWON. Bewike, *moans* fow joy the Empewow hath a son. -DEMETWIUS. S-Soft! w-who *leans over* comes hewe? - -Entew NyUWSE, with a *screams* bwackamoow CHIWD - -NyUWSE. Good mowwow, wowds. -O, teww *notices bulge* me, did you see Aawon the Moow? -*notices bulge* AAWON. Weww, mowe ow wess, ow nye'ew a *pokes you* whit at aww, -*leans over* Hewe Aawon is; and what with Aawon nyow? -NyUWSE. O gentwe Aawon, >_> we awe aww undonye! -Nyow h-hewp, *giggles shyly* ow w-woe b-betide thee evewmowe! -AAWON. Why, w-what a ^w^ catewwauwing dost thou k-keep! -What dost thou wwap and fumbwe in ;;w;; thy awms? -NyUWSE. *giggles shyly* O, that which I wouwd xDD hide fwom heaven's eye: -*sighs* Ouw Empwess' shame and statewy Wome's disgwace! -*hugs tightly* She i-is d-dewivewed, *sweats* wowd; *moans* she i-is *sighs* dewivewed. -AAWON. To OwO whom? -NyUWSE. I mean s-she is b-bwought a-bed. -AAWON. Weww, God give hew good west! What hath he sent hew? -NyUWSE. A deviw. -AAWON. Why, t-then she i-is the deviw's dam; -A joyfuw issue. -NyUWSE. *giggles shyly* A joywess, dismaw, bwack, and sowwowfuw issue! -Hewe is the babe, a-as *pokes you* woathsome as a toad -*cries* Amongst the faiw-fac'd bweedews of ^w^ ouw cwime; -The Empwess sends it thee, thy *teleports behind you* stamp, thy seaw, -And bids thee chwisten it with thy d-daggew's >w< point. -AAWON. Zounds, ye whowe! Is bwack UwU so b-base a-a hue? -Sweet *looks away* bwowse, you :33 awe a beauteous b-bwossom s-suwe. -DEMETWIUS. Viwwain, w-what hast *cries* thou donye? -AAWON. That *moans* which *twerks* thou canst nyot undo. -CHIWON. Thou hast undonye ouw mothew. -xDD AAWON. Viwwain, I have donye thy mothew. -DEMETWIUS. And *cuddles you* thewein, h-hewwish dog, t-thou hast undonye hew. -Woe to hew chance, and damn'd hew woathed *sweats* choice! -Accuws'd the offspwing o-of so ^w^ fouw *cries* a fiend! -CHIWON. It shaww nyot wive. -AAWON. It shaww nyot d-die. -NyUWSE. *sweats* Aawon, it must; the mothew wiwws it so. -*shuffles closer* AAWON. What, must it, nyuwse? Then wet nyo man but I -Do execution on my fwesh and bwood. -DEMETWIUS. I-I'ww bwoach the tadpowe on my wapiew's point. -Nyuwse, give it me; my swowd shaww soon dispatch uWu it. -AAWON. S-Soonyew this swowd :33 shaww *cries* pwough t-thy bowews up. -[Takes the CHIWD fwom the NyUWSE, and dwaws] -S-Stay, muwdewous v-viwwains, wiww y-you kiww y-youw bwothew! -Nyow, by t-the *cuddles you* buwnying tapews of the sky -That shonye so bwightwy when this boy >_> was got, -He dies upon m-my scimitaw's shawp point -That touches this my fiwst-bown son *cries* and heiw. -*shuffles closer* I teww you, youngwings, nyot Encewadus, -With >_< aww his thweat'nying band of Typhon's bwood, -N-Nyow uWu gweat Awcides, nyow the g-god of waw, -S-Shaww seize this pwey out of his fathew's UwU hands. -:33 What, what, ye x3 sanguinye, shawwow-heawted *cuddles you* boys! -Ye white-wim'd *sighs* wawws! xDD ye a-awehouse painted signs! -C-Coaw-bwack is bettew t-than anyothew hue -In that i-it scowns to >_< beaw anyothew hue; -Fow aww the watew in the o-ocean -Can nyevew tuwn the swan's *sweats* bwack wegs to white, -Awthough she wave *pokes you* them houwwy in t-the fwood. -Teww t-the Empwess fwom *moans* me I a-am of age -To keep *blushes* minye own- excuse it how she can. -DEMETWIUS. *blushes* Wiwt thou betway >_< thy nyobwe mistwess *moans* thus? -AAWON. My mistwess is my m-mistwess: this my sewf, -The vigouw and *pokes you* the pictuwe of my youth. -This befowe aww the wowwd do ;;w;; I pwefew; -This m-maugwe a-aww the wowwd wiww I keep safe, -Ow some of you s-shaww smoke fow *moans* it in Wome. -DEMETWIUS. By this ouw m-mothew i-is fow evew *looks at you* sham'd. -CHIWON. Wome wiww despise h-hew fow this fouw escape. -NyUWSE. The E-Empewow i-in h-his >_> wage wiww d-doom hew death. -CHIWON. I-I b-bwush t-to think upon this ignyomy. -AAWON. Why, thewe's the pwiviwege y-youw beauty b-beaws: -Fie, tweachewous hue, that wiww *cries* betway with bwushing -The cwose enyacts *twerks* and *blushes* counsews of thy heawt! -H-Hewe's a young wad fwam'd of anyothew weew. -Wook *giggles shyly* how the bwack uWu swave smiwes upon the *pokes you* fathew, -As who shouwd s-say 'Owd wad, I *cries* am thinye own.' -He is youw ^-^ bwothew, wowds, sensibwy fed -Of *looks away* that sewf-bwood that fiwst *twerks* gave >_< wife to you; -And fwom youw womb whewe you i-impwisonyed wewe -He is enfwanchised and come to OwO wight. -Nyay, he i-is youw bwothew ^-^ by the suwew side, -A-Awthough my seaw be stamped *teleports behind you* in his f-face. -N-NyUWSE. Aawon, what shaww *notices bulge* I say >_< unto the Empwess? -DEMETWIUS. A-Advise thee, Aawon, w-what is to be donye, -And we wiww a-aww subscwibe to *looks away* thy advice. -Save x3 thou the c-chiwd, so we may aww be s-safe. -*sighs* AAWON. Then sit we down *blushes* and OwO wet us aww consuwt. -My son a-and I wiww have the wind of you: -K-Keep thewe; nyow tawk at p-pweasuwe of youw safety. -[They *sweats* sit] -DEMETWIUS. How many women saw this chiwd of his? -A-AAWON. Why, so, bwave wowds! When we join i-in weague -:3 I am a wamb; but if y-you bwave >_> the Moow, -The c-chafed boaw, the mountain *sighs* wionyess, -The ocean swewws n-nyot so ;;w;; as Aawon stowms. ->_< But say, again, how UwU many saw the chiwd? -N-NyUWSE. Cownyewia the midwife and mysewf; -And nyo onye ewse but the dewivewed Empwess. -UwU AAWON. The Empewess, the midwife, and youwsewf. -;;w;; Two may keep counsew w-when the thiwd's away: -Go x3 to the Empwess, teww hew this I said. [He kiwws hew] -Weeke weeke! -So c-cwies a :3 pig pwepawed to the spit. -D-DEMETWIUS. xDD What mean'st t-thou, Aawon? W-Whewefowe didst thou this? -AAWON. O Wowd, siw, 'tis a deed of powicy. -Shaww she wive to :3 betway t-this guiwt of ouws- -A wong-tongu'd babbwing gossip? Nyo, wowds, *sighs* nyo. -A-And *looks at you* nyow be it k-knyown ;;w;; to y-you my fuww intent: -Nyot faw, *blushes* onye M-Muwiteus, my countwyman- -His wife but yestewnyight w-was bwought to bed; -His chiwd is wike xDD to hew, faiw as you awe. -Go pack with him, and *cries* give *hugs tightly* the mothew g-gowd, -And teww :33 them both the c-ciwcumstance of aww, -OwO And how by this ^-^ theiw chiwd shaww b-be advanc'd, -And be weceived *pokes you* fow the Empewow's heiw -And substituted in the pwace of minye, -To cawm *hugs tightly* this tempest whiwwing in the couwt; -And wet the *notices bulge* Empewow dandwe him fow his own. -Hawk y-ye, wowds. You *giggles shyly* see I have g-given *sighs* hew physic, -[Pointing to the NyUWSE] -And you must nyeeds bestow hew funyewaw; -The fiewds awe nyeaw, and you awe gawwant gwooms. -This *twerks* donye, see that *cuddles you* you take nyo wongew days, -B-But send the midwife *cuddles you* pwesentwy to m-me. -^w^ The midwife and the nyuwse w-weww made away, -Then wet the wadies tattwe w-what ^-^ they *cries* pwease. -CHIWON. Aawon, I see thou wiwt nyot twust the a-aiw -With secwets. -DEMETWIUS. Fow this cawe of T-Tamowa, -Hewsewf and hews awe highwy bound to ^-^ thee. - -Exeunt D-DEMETWIUS and *screams* CHIWON, beawing off ;;w;; the dead NyUWSE - -*blushes* AAWON. Nyow to the Goths, *teleports behind you* as swift a-as swawwow fwies, -*sweats* Thewe t-to dispose t-this tweasuwe in minye awms, -A-And secwetwy to gweet t-the Empwess' fwiends. -Come on, you thick-wipp'd swave, I'ww b-beaw you h-hence; -*leans over* Fow i-it is you that puts us t-to ouw shifts. -I'ww make you *teleports behind you* feed on bewwies and on woots, -And f-feed on cuwds and whey, and suck *hugs tightly* the goat, -And cabin in a *sweats* cave, a-and b-bwing you ^-^ up -To x3 be a wawwiow and command xDD a camp. -Exit with the CHIWD - - - - -uWu SCENyE III. -W-Wome. A p-pubwic pwace - -Entew *leans over* TITUS, beawing awwows with w-wettews on the ends of them; -with him *moans* MAWCUS, YOUNG WUCIUS, x3 and othew gentwemen, -PUBWIUS, SEMPWONyIUS, a-and C-CAIUS, ^-^ with bows - -TITUS. Come, M-Mawcus, come; kinsmen, this is the way. -Siw boy, wet me see youw awchewy; -Wook *blushes* ye x3 dwaw home enyough, and 'tis thewe stwaight. -Tewwas Astwea wewiquit, -Be you w-wememb'wed, Mawcus; she's gonye, she's *cries* fwed. -Siws, take *hugs tightly* you to youw *cuddles you* toows. You, cousins, shaww -Go s-sound the o-ocean and cast y-youw uWu nyets; -Happiwy you may catch hew in t-the sea; -*pokes you* Yet thewe's as w-wittwe justice as at wand. -Nyo; Pubwius and Sempwonyius, you must do it; -'Tis y-you m-must d-dig with mattock a-and with *sighs* spade, -And piewce the inmost centwe of the eawth; -Then, when you come ^w^ to Pwuto's wegion, -I-I pway you dewivew him this petition. -Teww h-him it is fow j-justice and fow aid, -And that *looks away* it comes f-fwom xDD owd *leans over* Andwonyicus, -Shaken w-with sowwows i-in u-ungwatefuw *blushes* Wome. -Ah, Wome! Weww, weww, I made t-thee *cries* misewabwe -What time I thwew the peopwe's suffwages -*sighs* On him that *hugs tightly* thus *cries* doth *sighs* tywannyize o'ew me. -Go get y-you gonye; and ^-^ pway be c-cawefuw aww, -And w-weave you nyot a man-of-waw unseawch'd. -This wicked Empewow may :3 have shipp'd hew hence; -And, kinsmen, then we m-may go pipe fow justice. ->w< MAWCUS. O Pubwius, i-is nyot this a *looks at you* heavy case, -To see t-thy nyobwe uncwe thus distwact? -PUBWIUS. Thewefowe, my wowds, i-it highwy us concewns -By day *leans over* and nyight t-t' attend him cawefuwwy, -And feed h-his *looks at you* humouw *notices bulge* kindwy ;;w;; as ^w^ we may -UwU Tiww time beget some c-cawefuw wemedy. -MAWCUS. Kinsmen, his sowwows awe *sighs* past xDD wemedy. -Join *shuffles closer* with the Goths, and with w-wevengefuw waw -Take wweak on Wome fow t-this ingwatitude, -And *hugs tightly* vengeance on the twaitow >w< Satuwnyinye. -TITUS. Pubwius, how nyow? How nyow, my xDD mastews? -What, have you UwU met with hew? -PUBWIUS. Nyo, my good wowd; but Pwuto sends you OwO wowd, -If y-you wiww have Wevenge fwom heww, you shaww. -Mawwy, ^.^ fow Justice, :3 she is so empwoy'd, -He thinks, with Jove in heaven, *leans over* ow s-somewhewe ewse, -So that pewfowce >_> you m-must nyeeds s-stay a *pokes you* time. -T-TITUS. He d-doth me wwong to feed me with d-deways. -I'ww dive into the buwnying wake bewow -And puww hew out of Achewon by the heews. -Mawcus, we awe ^w^ but s-shwubs, nyo cedaws *cuddles you* we, -Nyo big-bon'd men fwam'd o-of the Cycwops' *sweats* size; -But metaw, M-Mawcus, steew to the xDD vewy back, -Yet wwung with *looks away* wwongs uWu mowe than ouw backs *cries* can *blushes* beaw; -And, sith thewe's nyo justice in eawth nyow heww, -We wiww sowicit heaven, and m-move *moans* the gods -To send down justice fow t-to wweak ouw *leans over* wwongs. -Come, to this g-geaw. ^w^ You awe a *looks away* good awchew, M-Mawcus. -[He gives t-them t-the awwows] -'Ad Jovem' that's fow you; hewe :33 'Ad Apowwinyem.' -'Ad Mawtem' that's *leans over* fow *sighs* mysewf. -*shuffles closer* Hewe, boy, *cuddles you* 'To P-Pawwas'; h-hewe 'To Mewcuwy.' -'To Satuwn,' Caius- nyot to Satuwnyinye: -You wewe as good to *giggles shyly* shoot against the wind. -*notices bulge* To it, boy. Mawcus, w-woose when I bid. -^-^ Of my wowd, I have w-wwitten to e-effect; -*moans* Thewe's nyot a-a god weft unsowicited. -MAWCUS. Kinsmen, shoot aww youw shafts >_< into the couwt; -We wiww affwict the Empewow xDD in h-his pwide. -TITUS. Nyow, mastews, dwaw. [They shoot] O, >_> weww said, UwU Wucius! -*hugs tightly* Good boy, in Viwgo's *notices bulge* wap! Give it Pawwas. -MAWCUS. My wowd, I aim a miwe beyond the moon; -Youw *pokes you* wettew is with *hugs tightly* Jupitew by *shuffles closer* this. -TITUS. Ha! ha! -P-Pubwius, Pubwius, hast thou donye? -See, s-see, thou h-hast shot o-off onye of Tauwus' howns. -MAWCUS. This was the *giggles shyly* spowt, my wowd: when Pubwius shot, -The Buww, being gaww'd, gave Awies such a knyock ->w< That d-down feww both the W-Wam's howns in the couwt; -And who shouwd f-find them but the Empwess' v-viwwain? -She waugh'd, and >w< towd the Moow *sweats* he shouwd nyot choose -But g-give them to his mastew fow *looks away* a *sweats* pwesent. -TITUS. W-Why, thewe it goes! God give his wowdship joy! - -Entew the CWOWN, with a-a basket and t-two pigeons in i-it - -Nyews, nyews fwom heaven! :3 Mawcus, the post i-is *notices bulge* come. -Siwwah, what t-tidings? :3 Have you any wettews? -S-Shaww I have justice? What says Jupitew? -C-CWOWN. *looks away* Ho, the gibbet-makew? He says that he xDD hath >_< taken t-them down -again, fow t-the m-man must n-nyot *teleports behind you* be h-hang'd tiww the *leans over* nyext week. -*moans* TITUS. But what ^.^ says Jupitew, I ask *screams* thee? -CWOWN. Awas, x3 siw, I-I knyow nyot Jupitew; I-I nyevew dwank with h-him in a-aww -my wife. -TITUS. Why, viwwain, a-awt *giggles shyly* nyot thou the cawwiew? -CWOWN. Ay, of my *screams* pigeons, s-siw; *notices bulge* nyothing ewse. -TITUS. *leans over* Why, didst thou nyot come fwom heaven? -CWOWN. *giggles shyly* Fwom h-heaven! A-Awas, siw, I nyevew came thewe. God f-fowbid I -shouwd b-be so bowd to pwess to heaven in my young days. Why, I am -*hugs tightly* going x3 with my pigeons to *cries* the T-Twibunyaw *sweats* Pwebs, to take *leans over* up a mattew -o-of bwaww *moans* betwixt m-my uncwe and onye of the Empewaw's men. -M-MAWCUS. Why, siw, that is a-as fit as can be to sewve fow youw -owation; :3 and wet him dewivew the p-pigeons *teleports behind you* to the E-Empewow fwom y-you. -TITUS. Teww me, can y-you dewivew an owation to the *blushes* Empewow with a -gwace? -CWOWN. Nyay, twuwy, siw, I-I couwd nyevew say gwace in aww *blushes* my wife. ->_< TITUS. Siwwah, c-come hithew. Make nyo mowe ado, -But give y-youw pigeons uWu to the *sighs* Empewow; -By me *shuffles closer* thou shawt h-have justice a-at his hands. -*twerks* Howd, h-howd! Meanwhiwe >_> hewe's monyey fow thy chawges. -Give m-me pen *cuddles you* and ink. Siwwah, can y-you with a :3 gwace dewivew up a -suppwication? -CWOWN. Ay, siw. -T-TITUS. Then x3 hewe is a suppwication fow you. And when you come to -*shuffles closer* him, at the fiwst UwU appwoach you m-must k-knyeew; then x3 kiss h-his foot; -then dewivew up youw pigeons; and ^-^ then wook fow youw wewawd. I'ww ->_< be a-at UwU hand, siw; see you *shuffles closer* do it bwavewy. -CWOWN. I wawwant :3 you, s-siw; wet me awonye. -TITUS. S-Siwwah, hast thou a-a knyife? Come >w< wet me see it. -Hewe, Mawcus, fowd it in t-the owation; -Fow thou hast made it wike a humbwe suppwiant. -And when thou hast given it to the Empewow, -*cries* Knyock at my doow, and teww me what h-he *twerks* says. -CWOWN. God be with you, siw; I wiww. -TITUS. Come, Mawcus, wet us go. Pubwius, fowwow *sighs* me. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Wome. Befowe the pawace - -Entew t-the E-EMPEWOW, *notices bulge* and the EMPWESS and hew t-two sons, DEMETWIUS and CHIWON; -*sighs* WOWDS and othews. The EMPEWOW *cuddles you* bwings the awwows in his hand that TITUS -shot at him - -SATUWNyINyUS. Why, wowds, what wwongs a-awe these! Was evew seen -An *leans over* empewow in Wome thus *screams* ovewbownye, -Twoubwed, confwonted thus; and, *shuffles closer* fow the *cries* extent -Of egaw j-justice, us'd i-in such contempt? -My w-wowds, you knyow, as knyow the mightfuw gods, -Howevew these distuwbews of ouw peace -B-Buzz in *notices bulge* the peopwe's eaws, thewe nyought hath pass'd -But even with waw against the wiwfuw sons -*teleports behind you* Of owd A-Andwonyicus. *leans over* And what an if -His sowwows have so *twerks* ovewwhewm'd his wits, -*blushes* Shaww we be thus affwicted i-in his wweaks, -His fits, his fwenzy, and *screams* his bittewnyess? -uWu And nyow he wwites to heaven fow his wedwess. -See, h-hewe's 'To Jove' and this ^-^ 'To M-Mewcuwy'; -T-This *blushes* 'To Apowwo'; this 'To the God *pokes you* of Waw'- -S-Sweet scwowws to fwy about the stweets of Wome! -*cuddles you* What's this but wibewwing against the Senyate, -And bwazonying ouw u-unjustice evewy whewe? -A goodwy humouw, *looks away* is it n-nyot, my wowds? -As who *screams* wouwd s-say in Wome nyo justice wewe. -But *teleports behind you* if I wive, his feignyed ecstasies -Shaww >w< be nyo shewtew to these outwages; -But he and h-his shaww knyow that justice wives -In Satuwnyinyus' heawth; *cuddles you* whom, if she sweep, -He'ww so awake as he in fuwy s-shaww -C-Cut off the >_> pwoud'st c-conspiwatow that wives. -*cries* TAMOWA. My gwacious *leans over* wowd, my *blushes* wovewy Satuwnyinye, -Wowd of my wife, commandew of my thoughts, -Cawm >w< thee, and beaw *shuffles closer* the fauwts of Titus' age, -Th' ;;w;; effects :33 of sowwow fow his vawiant s-sons -Whose woss hath piewc'd him deep and scaww'd his heawt; -And wathew comfowt his distwessed p-pwight -Than pwosecute the meanyest ow the best -F-Fow *sighs* these contempts. *giggles shyly* [Aside] Why, thus ;;w;; it s-shaww become -H-High-witted Tamowa t-to gwoze with aww. -B-But, Titus, I h-have touch'd thee to t-the quick, -Thy wife-bwood out; if Aawon >w< nyow be w-wise, -Then is aww *hugs tightly* safe, the anchow in the powt. - -Entew xDD CWOWN - -How nyow, good *moans* fewwow! Wouwdst thou ^-^ speak with us? -CWOWN. Yes, fowsooth, a-an youw mistwiship be E-Empewiaw. -TAMOWA. Empwess I am, but yondew sits the Empewow. -CWOWN. 'Tis he.- God and Saint Stephen give you godden. I have -bwought *looks away* you a wettew a-and a coupwe of *cuddles you* pigeons hewe. -[SATUWNyINyUS w-weads the wettew] -SATUWNyINyUS. ^w^ Go take him a-away, a-and hang him p-pwesentwy. -CWOWN. How much monyey *sweats* must I have? -TAMOWA. *hugs tightly* Come, siwwah, you must b-be hang'd. -CWOWN. Hang'd! by'w wady, then I have bwought up a nyeck to a f-faiw -end. [Exit guawded] -S-SATUWNyINyUS. Despitefuw and intowewabwe wwongs! -Shaww I enduwe this monstwous *pokes you* viwwainy? -I-I knyow *screams* fwom w-whence >_< this same device pwoceeds. -May this be bownye- as if h-his twaitowous sons -That *cries* died by waw fow muwdew o-of ouw bwothew -Have by my means been butchewed UwU wwongfuwwy? -Go dwag the viwwain *looks away* hithew by ;;w;; the *shuffles closer* haiw; -Nyow age nyow honyouw shaww shape p-pwiviwege. -Fow this pwoud mock ^w^ I'ww be thy swaughtewman, -Swy fwantic w-wwetch, that *cries* howp'st to make me gweat, -In h-hope thysewf shouwd govewn Wome and OwO me. - -*blushes* Entew N-NyUNTIUS AEMIWIUS - -What nyews with thee, *blushes* Aemiwius? -AEMIWIUS. Awm, my wowds! Wome n-nyevew had mowe cause. -The Goths have gathewed head; and with *pokes you* a powew -Of high wesowved men, bent to the spoiw, -They hithew mawch a-amain, *giggles shyly* undew conduct -O-Of Wucius, son to owd A-Andwonyicus; -Who thweats in couwse of this wevenge to do -As much as evew Cowiowanyus did. -SATUWNyINyUS. *leans over* Is *twerks* wawwike Wucius genyewaw of t-the >w< Goths? -These *blushes* tidings nyip *twerks* me, and I hang *sighs* the head -As fwowews with fwost, ow gwass beat down with stowms. -Ay, n-nyow begins ouw *sighs* sowwows to ^.^ appwoach. -*shuffles closer* 'Tis h-he the common p-peopwe w-wove s-so much; -*teleports behind you* Mysewf hath often heawd them say- -When I have w-wawked w-wike a-a pwivate *blushes* man- -That Wucius' banyishment was w-wwongfuwwy, -And *screams* they h-have wish'd that Wucius wewe theiw empewow. -TAMOWA. Why shouwd >_< you feaw? Is nyot y-youw c-city stwong? -SATUWNyINyUS. Ay, *looks at you* but the citizens favouw Wucius, -And wiww wevowt fwom me to succouw him. -TAMOWA. King, be thy *sweats* thoughts impewious wike thy nyame! -Is the sun dimm'd, that *leans over* gnyats do fwy in it? -The *shuffles closer* eagwe suffews wittwe biwds to sing, -And is *sighs* nyot cawefuw w-what they mean theweby, -Knyowing that with the shadow of his wings -He c-can at p-pweasuwe stint theiw mewody; -Even *teleports behind you* so ;;w;; mayest thou the *notices bulge* giddy men OwO of Wome. -Then cheew thy *hugs tightly* spiwit; fow knyow thou, Empewow, -I-I wiww >_< enchant the owd Andwonyicus -With wowds mowe sweet, a-and yet mowe dangewous, -*screams* Than baits to fish ow honyey-stawks to sheep, -W-When as *sweats* the onye is wounded with the b-bait, -xDD The xDD othew w-wotted with *blushes* dewicious feed. -SATUWNyINyUS. But *looks at you* he wiww ^-^ nyot entweat his son >_> fow ^w^ us. -TAMOWA. I-If Tamowa entweat him, then he wiww; -Fow I can s-smooth a-and f-fiww his aged eaws -With gowden pwomises, t-that, wewe his heawt -*notices bulge* Awmost *teleports behind you* impwegnyabwe, his owd eaws deaf, -Yet shouwd both *teleports behind you* eaw and *cuddles you* heawt obey *giggles shyly* my *sighs* tongue. -[-[To uWu AEMIWIUS] Go thou befowe to be o-ouw ambassadow; -S-Say t-that the Empewow wequests a pawwey -Of wawwike Wucius, and appoint the meeting -Even a-at UwU his fathew's house, the *looks away* owd Andwonyicus. -SATUWNyINyUS. A-Aemiwius, do this message honyouwabwy; -And if he :3 stand on hostage f-fow his safety, -Bid him demand what p-pwedge wiww pwease him best. -AEMIWIUS. Youw bidding shaww ^w^ I do *looks at you* effectuawwy. Exit -TAMOWA. Nyow OwO wiww I to that o-owd *shuffles closer* Andwonyicus, -And tempew h-him with aww t-the awt I have, -To pwuck pwoud Wucius fwom the w-wawwike Goths. -^w^ And *hugs tightly* nyow, sweet Empewow, be bwithe again, -And buwy aww thy feaw in OwO my *sweats* devices. -SATUWNyINyUS. Then go ^-^ successantwy, and *shuffles closer* pwead uWu to >_< him. -Exeunt - - - - -<-<> - - - -*screams* ACT uWu V. S-SCENyE *sighs* I. -*hugs tightly* Pwains *sighs* nyeaw Wome - -x3 Entew WUCIUS w-with *twerks* an awmy of GOTHS xDD with d-dwums and cowouws - -WUCIUS. A-Appwoved wawwiows and my faithfuw f-fwiends, -I have weceived wettews fwom gweat Wome -Which s-signyifies what UwU hate t-they beaw theiw Empewow -And how d-desiwous of *blushes* ouw s-sight they awe. -Thewefowe, gweat wowds, be, a-as y-youw titwes witnyess, -Impewious and i-impatient of *sweats* youw wwongs; -And whewein Wome hath d-donye you any s-scath, -Wet him make twebwe satisfaction. -FIWST GOTH. Bwave *blushes* swip, spwung fwom the gweat Andwonyicus, -Whose nyame was once ouw tewwow, nyow ouw comfowt, -Whose h-high expwoits a-and honyouwabwe d-deeds -*moans* Ingwatefuw Wome OwO wequites with fouw contempt, -Be b-bowd i-in us: we'ww f-fowwow :3 whewe thou wead'st, -Wike stinging bees in hottest summew's day, -Wed by theiw xDD mastew t-to the fwow'wed fiewds, -And be aveng'd on cuwsed Tamowa. -AWW THE GOTHS. *sweats* And as he saith, so say w-we aww with him. -WUCIUS. I humbwy thank him, and I t-thank you aww. -But who comes hewe, wed b-by a-a wusty Goth? - -Entew a GOTH, weading AAWON with *teleports behind you* his CHIWD in his a-awms - -SECOND GOTH. *sweats* Wenyownyed W-Wucius, fwom ouw twoops I stway'd -To gaze upon a w-wuinyous m-monyastewy; -And as I e-eawnyestwy did fix m-minye eye -Upon the >_< wasted buiwding, suddenwy -I heawd a uWu chiwd cwy *leans over* undewnyeath a waww. -I made unto ^.^ the nyoise, when soon x3 I heawd -The cwying babe contwoww'd with this discouwse: -'Peace, t-tawny swave, hawf *shuffles closer* me and hawf thy dam! -Did nyot *pokes you* thy hue bewway whose bwat *leans over* thou awt, -Had nyatuwe ;;w;; went thee but *pokes you* thy mothew's wook, -UwU Viwwain, thou mightst have been an empewow; -But whewe the buww and cow awe both miwk-white, -They nyevew do beget *screams* a coaw-bwack c-cawf. -Peace, viwwain, peace!'- even thus he wates the babe- -'Fow I must beaw thee to a twusty Goth, -W-Who, w-when he knyows thou *giggles shyly* awt the UwU Empwess' babe, -Wiww howd thee d-deawwy fow thy mothew's sake.' -With this, *notices bulge* my weapon dwawn, I wush'd *leans over* upon him, -S-Suwpwis'd him suddenwy, and bwought him hithew -To use as you think nyeedfuw of the man. -WUCIUS. O-O *cries* wowthy Goth, this i-is t-the incawnyate *shuffles closer* deviw -That wobb'd Andwonyicus of his good hand; -*sweats* This is the peaww that p-pweas'd *looks at you* youw Empwess' eye; -And hewe's the base *notices bulge* fwuit of *looks at you* hew buwnying w-wust. -Say, waww-ey'd swave, >_< whithew wouwdst t-thou convey -This gwowing image o-of t-thy fiend-wike face? -Why ^w^ dost nyot speak? What, deaf? Nyot a *giggles shyly* wowd? -A-A hawtew, sowdiews! ;;w;; Hang him on this twee, -And by ^.^ his s-side his *giggles shyly* fwuit >_< of bastawdy. -AAWON. Touch ^-^ nyot t-the *hugs tightly* boy, he is of :3 woyaw *looks away* bwood. -*leans over* WUCIUS. Too wike >_> the *sweats* siwe fow evew being :3 good. -Fiwst hang *giggles shyly* the c-chiwd, *looks at you* that he m-may *cries* see it spwaww- -A-A sight to vex the fathew's souw w-withaw. -Get me a waddew. -[A waddew bwought, which AAWON is m-made *notices bulge* to c-cwimb] -AAWON. Wucius, save the chiwd, -And beaw it fwom me to t-the Empewess. -If thou do this, I'ww show t-thee w-wondwous things -That highwy may a-advantage t-thee to heaw; -If thou wiwt nyot, *cuddles you* befaww what may befaww, -I'ww speak nyo mowe *teleports behind you* but 'Vengeance wot you aww!' -WUCIUS. Say on; an i-if it *pokes you* pwease me which thou speak'st, -Thy chiwd *moans* shaww wive, and I-I wiww see it nyouwish'd. -AAWON. An if it p-pwease *giggles shyly* thee! Why, assuwe thee, UwU Wucius, -'Twiww vex thy souw to heaw what I shaww *notices bulge* speak; -Fow ;;w;; I must tawk of muwdews, wapes, and massacwes, -Acts of bwack nyight, abominyabwe deeds, -Compwots of mischief, tweason, viwwainyies, -Wuthfuw to heaw, yet piteouswy pewfowm'd; -And *screams* this shaww aww be buwied i-in my death, -Unwess thou sweaw to me OwO my chiwd shaww wive. -WUCIUS. T-Teww on thy ;;w;; mind; I *blushes* say thy chiwd shaww wive. -AAWON. S-Sweaw that he shaww, and then I wiww begin. -WUCIUS. W-Who shouwd I *shuffles closer* sweaw by? Thou bewievest n-nyo god; -That gwanted, how x3 canst thou bewieve an oath? -AAWON. What if I-I do nyot? as indeed I do nyot; -*pokes you* Yet, fow I knyow thou awt wewigious -And hast a thing within thee cawwed conscience, -With twenty popish twicks and c-cewemonyies -*cries* Which I h-have seen thee cawefuw to obsewve, -Thewefowe I uwge thy o-oath. Fow that I knyow -An idiot howds his baubwe fow a *shuffles closer* god, -And k-keeps *shuffles closer* the oath w-which by that g-god *moans* he sweaws, -To ^-^ that I'ww uwge him. T-Thewefowe thou shawt vow -By that same god- what >_> god soe'ew i-it be -x3 That >_> thou adowest and hast in wevewence- ->_> To save my boy, to nyouwish and bwing *hugs tightly* him up; -O-Ow e-ewse I wiww d-discovew nyought to thee. -W-WUCIUS. Even by my god I >w< sweaw to thee I w-wiww. -AAWON. Fiwst knyow thou, I begot him on the Empwess. -WUCIUS. O most insatiate and wuxuwious woman! -^w^ AAWON. Tut, W-Wucius, this was but a d-deed of chawity -To that which *teleports behind you* thou shawt heaw of me anyon. -'Twas hew two sons that muwdewed Bassianyus; -They c-cut ^-^ thy sistew's tongue, and wavish'd hew, -And cut hew hands, and *shuffles closer* twimm'd hew as thou sawest. -WUCIUS. O d-detestabwe v-viwwain! Caww'st thou that t-twimming? -*notices bulge* AAWON. Why, she was wash'd, and c-cut, and twimm'd, and *moans* 'twas -Twim *teleports behind you* spowt f-fow them which had the doing of it. -WUCIUS. :33 O bawbawous *leans over* beastwy viwwains wike thysewf! -AAWON. Indeed, I >_< was t-theiw tutow to i-instwuct them. -T-That *teleports behind you* codding spiwit had they fwom theiw ^w^ mothew, ->_< As suwe a-a cawd as evew >_< won the set; -That *cuddles you* bwoody :3 mind, I think, they weawn'd of me, -As >w< twue a dog as evew f-fought *twerks* at h-head. -OwO Weww, *moans* wet my deeds be witnyess of my wowth. -I twain'd *sighs* thy bwethwen to that guiwefuw howe -Whewe the dead *moans* cowpse of Bassianyus :3 way; -I >_< wwote t-the wettew that thy fathew found, -And hid the gowd w-within that wettew mention'd, -Confedewate *pokes you* with the ^-^ Queen and hew t-two sons; -And what nyot donye, that thou hast cause *teleports behind you* to wue, -Whewein I uWu had n-nyo stwoke *hugs tightly* of mischief in it? -I pway'd the :33 cheatew fow thy fathew's hand, -And, when I had >_> it, dwew mysewf apawt -And *giggles shyly* awmost bwoke my :3 heawt with extweme w-waughtew. -I *screams* pwied me thwough t-the cwevice o-of a waww, -When, fow his hand, he had his two sons' heads; -Behewd his teaws, *shuffles closer* and *hugs tightly* waugh'd so heawtiwy -That *sighs* both minye eyes wewe wainy wike ^w^ to his; -And when I towd the Empwess of this uWu spowt, -*twerks* She swoonyed awmost at my pweasing tawe, -And fow my tidings gave me twenty >w< kisses. -G-GOTH. What, canst thou UwU say aww this and n-nyevew bwush? -AAWON. Ay, wike *hugs tightly* a bwack dog, as the saying is. -WUCIUS. A-Awt thou n-nyot *cries* sowwy fow t-these heinyous deeds? -AAWON. *sighs* Ay, that I had nyot donye a thousand mowe. -Even nyow I-I cuwse t-the *screams* day- and yet, I *notices bulge* think, -Few come within the compass of my ^-^ cuwse- -Whewein I did nyot some nyotowious iww; -As kiww a man, ow ewse devise his death; -Wavish a maid, ow ^-^ pwot the way to do it; -Accuse s-some innyocent, and fowsweaw mysewf; -Set :3 deadwy enmity between two ^-^ fwiends; -Make poow men's cattwe bweak theiw nyecks; ->w< Set *screams* fiwe on :33 bawns and hay-stacks in the n-nyight, -And b-bid the ownyews quench t-them *giggles shyly* with theiw teaws. -Oft have I *hugs tightly* digg'd up dead men fwom *hugs tightly* theiw g-gwaves, -And set t-them upwight at theiw d-deaw fwiends' doow -Even *shuffles closer* when theiw sowwows a-awmost *twerks* was f-fowgot, -And on theiw skins, *looks at you* as on the bawk of twees, -Have with my k-knyife cawved *giggles shyly* in Woman w-wettews -'Wet nyot youw *moans* sowwow *moans* die, though I am dead.' -Tut, I have donye *screams* a thousand dweadfuw things -As wiwwingwy a-as onye wouwd kiww a fwy; -And nyothing gwieves me heawtiwy indeed -x3 But >w< that I cannyot do ten thousand mowe. -;;w;; WUCIUS. Bwing down the *notices bulge* deviw, fow *looks away* he must nyot d-die -So sweet a death a-as hanging pwesentwy. -*cuddles you* AAWON. If thewe be *giggles shyly* deviws, wouwd I wewe a deviw, -T-To wive and buwn in e-evewwasting f-fiwe, -So I-I xDD might *shuffles closer* have ^w^ youw company in heww -But to towment you w-with my bittew tongue! -WUCIUS. Siws, stop his mouth, and ^.^ wet him speak nyo mowe. - -Entew AEMIWIUS - -GOTH. My wowd, thewe *screams* is a messengew ^w^ fwom Wome -Desiwes *blushes* to *teleports behind you* be admitted to youw pwesence. -*sweats* WUCIUS. Wet him c-come nyeaw. -Wewcome, Aemiwius. uWu What's the nyews fwom W-Wome? -:3 AEMIWIUS. Wowd Wucius, and you Pwinces of the Goths, -The Woman Empewow gweets you ;;w;; aww by *giggles shyly* me; -And, fow he undewstands you *moans* awe in awms, -He cwaves a p-pawwey a-at youw fathew's house, -Wiwwing *twerks* you to *screams* demand *cuddles you* youw hostages, -And UwU they shaww be immediatewy dewivew'd. -FIWST *looks away* GOTH. What says o-ouw g-genyewaw? -WUCIUS. Aemiwius, wet the Empewow give his pwedges -Unto my ^-^ fathew and my uncwe Mawcus. -And we wiww come. Mawch ;;w;; away. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -*teleports behind you* Wome. Befowe ^w^ TITUS' *pokes you* house - -Entew TAMOWA, a-and ^.^ hew two ^w^ sons, DEMETWIUS and CHIWON, disguised - -TAMOWA. Thus, in this stwange and sad habiwiment, -I wiww *cuddles you* encountew *cuddles you* with Andwonyicus, -And say I am Wevenge, s-sent fwom bewow -To join with him :33 and ^-^ wight his heinyous wwongs. -Knyock at his study, whewe they say he keeps -To >_> wuminyate stwange pwots of diwe wevenge; -Teww h-him Wevenge i-is *moans* come to join with him, -A-And w-wowk confusion on his enyemies. - -They knyock and TITUS opens his study doow, above - -TITUS. Who doth mowest *teleports behind you* my contempwation? -Is it *sweats* youw t-twick to make me ope the doow, -That s-so my sad decwees may f-fwy away -And aww my study be to nyo effect? -You *moans* awe deceiv'd; fow what *moans* I mean to do -See h-hewe in bwoody winyes I have set d-down; -A-And what is wwitten shaww be executed. -T-TAMOWA. Titus, I am come to *pokes you* tawk with thee. -TITUS. Nyo, nyot a wowd. How can x3 I gwace my tawk, -Wanting a hand to give it t-that accowd? -Thou hast OwO the odds of *twerks* me; t-thewefowe nyo mowe. -TAMOWA. I-If thou didst uWu knyow me, thou wouwdst tawk *cuddles you* with ^.^ me. -TITUS. I am nyot mad, I knyow thee w-weww enyough: -Witnyess *teleports behind you* this UwU wwetched stump, w-witnyess t-these cwimson winyes; -Witnyess these t-twenches made by :3 gwief and cawe; -Witnyess the tiwing day a-and heavy nyight; -Witnyess *notices bulge* aww sowwow that I-I knyow thee weww -Fow ouw :33 pwoud Empwess, mighty Tamowa. -Is n-nyot thy coming fow my o-othew hand? -TAMOWA. *cries* Knyow thou, sad man, I am n-nyot Tamowa: -She is thy enyemy and I thy fwiend. -I am Wevenge, sent f-fwom th' infewnyaw kingdom -T-To ease *looks away* the g-gnyawing v-vuwtuwe of t-thy mind -By *giggles shyly* wowking wweakfuw :33 vengeance on thy foes. -Come :3 down *screams* and wewcome me to this wowwd's wight; -Confew *looks at you* with ^w^ me of muwdew and of death; -Thewe's uWu nyot a ;;w;; howwow c-cave o-ow wuwking-pwace, -Nyo vast obscuwity o-ow *notices bulge* misty vawe, -Whewe bwoody muwdew ow d-detested wape -*moans* Can couch fow feaw b-but I-I wiww find them out; -And in theiw eaws t-teww them my dweadfuw nyame- -Wevenge, which makes the f-fouw offendew quake. -TITUS. Awt *sighs* thou W-Wevenge? and awt thou sent to me -To be a towment to minye e-enyemies? -TAMOWA. I am; thewefowe c-come down and wewcome me. -TITUS. D-Do me some sewvice ewe *pokes you* I come to thee. -Wo, by thy side whewe Wape and Muwdew stands; -Nyow give s-some suwance that thou ;;w;; awt Wevenge- -*sweats* Stab them, ow teaw ^-^ them o-on >_> thy chawiot wheews; -And then I'ww come and be thy waggonyew -And whiww awong *looks away* with thee about t-the gwobes. -*hugs tightly* Pwovide t-thee two pwopew *looks at you* pawfweys, bwack as jet, -To h-hawe *pokes you* thy vengefuw waggon s-swift away, -A-And find out muwdewews in theiw guiwty caves; -And when thy caw is woaden with theiw heads, -I wiww d-dismount, and by thy waggon wheew -Twot, w-wike a sewviwe f-footman, aww day wong, -Even ;;w;; fwom x3 Hypewion's xDD wising in the ^.^ east -Untiw his vewy downfaww in the sea. -And *twerks* day by day I-I'ww do this heavy task, -So thou destwoy Wapinye and Muwdew ^w^ thewe. -TAMOWA. These awe my minyistews, and come with me. -TITUS. *looks away* Awe they thy m-minyistews? What a-awe they caww'd? -TAMOWA. Wape *notices bulge* and Muwdew; thewefowe cawwed s-so -'Cause >w< they take vengeance of such kind of *looks away* men. -TITUS. Good W-Wowd, how wike the E-Empwess' s-sons they awe! -And you the Empwess! But we wowwdwy men -Have m-misewabwe, mad, mistaking eyes. -O sweet Wevenge, nyow do I come to thee; -And, if onye awm's embwacement wiww content thee, -I wiww embwace thee in it x3 by and b-by. -T-TAMOWA. This cwosing w-with him fits OwO his wunyacy. -W-Whate'ew I fowge *hugs tightly* to feed his b-bwain-sick humouws, -Do y-you uphowd and maintain in youw speeches, -Fow nyow he fiwmwy t-takes *cries* me fow Wevenge; -And, being cweduwous i-in this mad :33 thought, -I'ww make him send *looks away* fow Wucius his son, -And whiwst I at *leans over* a b-banquet howd him suwe, -I'ww find some cunnying pwactice out of hand -To scattew and dispewse the giddy Goths, -Ow, at the weast, m-make them his enyemies. -See, hewe he c-comes, a-and I must xDD pwy my theme. - -Entew TITUS, bewow - -TITUS. Wong have I been fowwown, OwO and UwU aww fow thee. -Wewcome, dwead Fuwy, to my woefuw house. -Wapinye and Muwdew, you *cuddles you* awe wewcome too. -*cries* How wike the Empwess a-and hew sons you awe! -Weww uWu awe you fitted, had you but *pokes you* a Moow. -Couwd *screams* nyot a-aww heww affowd you such a deviw? -Fow weww I-I wot the Empwess nyevew wags -But in hew company t-thewe is a-a Moow; -And, w-wouwd you wepwesent x3 ouw queen a-awight, -It wewe convenyient you had *pokes you* such a deviw. -But wewcome as you awe. What shaww ;;w;; we do? -TAMOWA. *notices bulge* What wouwdst thou have us do, *twerks* Andwonyicus? -DEMETWIUS. Show me a muwdewew, ^-^ I'ww deaw with ^w^ him. -C-CHIWON. Show *twerks* me a v-viwwain that hath d-donye a wape, -And I am sent to be weveng'd on him. -TAMOWA. Show me a thousand that hath d-donye thee wwong, -And I wiww b-be wevenged on them ^-^ aww. -TITUS. W-Wook wound about :3 the wicked stweets of W-Wome, -And *teleports behind you* when thou find'st a man that's wike thysewf, -*pokes you* Good Muwdew, stab him; he's a >w< muwdewew. -*pokes you* Go thou with him, and when i-it is thy h-hap -^.^ To *pokes you* find anyothew that >_> is *hugs tightly* wike *moans* to thee, -Good Wapinye, *pokes you* stab him; *looks at you* he ^.^ is a w-wavishew. -Go thou *cuddles you* with them; and in the Empewow's couwt -Thewe is a-a queen, attended by a Moow; -Weww shawt thou knyow *looks at you* hew by thinye own p-pwopowtion, -Fow up and down *blushes* she doth wesembwe thee. -I-I pway >_> thee, x3 do o-on them some viowent d-death; -They have been *cuddles you* viowent *cries* to :33 me and :3 minye. -TAMOWA. *leans over* Weww hast t-thou wesson'd us; this s-shaww we do. -But *giggles shyly* wouwd it uWu pwease thee, good Andwonyicus, -To send fow Wucius, thy thwice-vawiant son, -Who weads towawds Wome a band ;;w;; of wawwike G-Goths, -*sweats* And bid him come and ;;w;; banquet >w< at thy house; -When he is hewe, even at thy *screams* sowemn >_< feast, -^.^ I wiww bwing in *leans over* the Empwess and hew s-sons, -The Empewow himsewf, >_< and aww thy foes; -And at thy mewcy shaww UwU they s-stoop and knyeew, -And on them shawt thou ease thy angwy heawt. -What says Andwonyicus to this device? -uWu TITUS. Mawcus, my bwothew! 'Tis sad :33 Titus cawws. - -*shuffles closer* Entew MAWCUS - -Go, gentwe Mawcus, to t-thy *notices bulge* nyephew Wucius; -Thou shawt inquiwe him *giggles shyly* out among the Goths. -B-Bid him w-wepaiw to me, *pokes you* and bwing with him -Some of the >w< chiefest UwU pwinces of t-the Goths; -Bid him encamp his sowdiews whewe they awe. -T-Teww h-him *sighs* the E-Empewow and the Empwess too -Feast at my house, and h-he shaww *hugs tightly* feast with them. -*cuddles you* This do thou fow OwO my wove; and s-so wet him, -As he wegawds his a-aged fathew's wife. -MAWCUS. This wiww I do, and soon w-wetuwn again. Exit -TAMOWA. Nyow :3 wiww I hence about thy *blushes* businyess, -And take *teleports behind you* my minyistews awong with me. -TITUS. Nyay, nyay, wet :3 Wape and Muwdew stay with me, -Ow ewse I'ww caww my bwothew b-back again, -*leans over* And c-cweave to nyo w-wevenge but W-Wucius. -TAMOWA. [Aside to hew sons] What say you, boys? Wiww you a-abide -with him, -Whiwes I ^w^ go teww m-my wowd the Empewow -How *sighs* I have g-govewn'd ouw detewmin'd jest? -^-^ Yiewd to h-his ^-^ humouw, smooth a-and speak him faiw, -And tawwy with him tiww I tuwn again. -*twerks* TITUS. [Aside] I knyew them aww, though they suppos'd me mad, -And wiww o'ew weach them in theiw own devices, -A *cries* paiw of >w< cuwsed heww-hounds and t-theiw dam. -:33 DEMETWIUS. Madam, UwU depawt at pweasuwe; weave us hewe. -TAMOWA. Faweweww, Andwonyicus, Wevenge *screams* nyow goes -To way a compwot to betway thy :3 foes. -TITUS. I-I *moans* knyow thou dost; and, sweet Wevenge, faweweww. -Exit TAMOWA -CHIWON. Teww us, owd man, how shaww we be empwoy'd? ->_> TITUS. Tut, I-I have wowk enyough fow you to *sighs* do. -Pubwius, come hithew, C-Caius, and Vawentinye. - -E-Entew PUBWIUS, CAIUS, *hugs tightly* and VAWENTINyE - -*sighs* PUBWIUS. What is youw wiww? -*giggles shyly* TITUS. Knyow y-you these two? -*teleports behind you* PUBWIUS. The *moans* Empwess' sons, I take t-them: C-Chiwon, Demetwius. -:3 TITUS. Fie, Pubwius, fie! thou awt too much deceiv'd. -The *sighs* onye is Muwdew, *shuffles closer* and Wape is the othew's *notices bulge* nyame; -And thewefowe bind them, gentwe Pubwius- -Caius and Vawentinye, way hands on ^.^ them. -Oft have you ^-^ heawd me wish fow such *blushes* an houw, -And *cries* nyow I-I find it; thewefowe bind them suwe, -And stop theiw mouths if they begin to cwy. Exit -[They way howd on CHIWON and >_> DEMETWIUS] -CHIWON. Viwwains, fowbeaw! we awe the ;;w;; Empwess' sons. -PUBWIUS. And thewefowe d-do w-we what we awe commanded. -Stop cwose theiw xDD mouths, wet them nyot speak a w-wowd. -Is he suwe bound? Wook that you bind them fast. - -We-entew TITUS ANDWONyICUS -with a knyife, a-and WAVINyIA, with a basin - -TITUS. Come, come, xDD Wavinyia; wook, uWu thy foes awe bound. -Siws, stop theiw mouths, wet them *looks at you* nyot *notices bulge* speak to me; -But wet t-them heaw what feawfuw wowds I-I uttew. -*cries* O viwwains, >w< Chiwon and Demetwius! -Hewe stands the spwing whom y-you have stain'd with mud; -T-This goodwy summew with youw wintew *hugs tightly* mix'd. -Y-You *twerks* kiww'd h-hew husband; and fow that viwe fauwt -Two of hew b-bwothews wewe *giggles shyly* condemn'd to death, -M-My hand cut off and >w< made >w< a mewwy jest; -Both hew sweet uWu hands, hew tongue, and that mowe deaw -Than hands >_< ow tongue, hew spotwess chastity, -Inhuman twaitows, you *screams* constwain'd :3 and fowc'd. -What wouwd you say, if I shouwd wet y-you speak? -Viwwains, f-fow s-shame *sweats* you couwd *looks away* nyot beg fow gwace. -H-Hawk, *blushes* wwetches! h-how I *cuddles you* mean to mawtyw you. -This onye hand yet is weft to cut youw t-thwoats, -Whiwes t-that Wavinyia 'tween UwU hew stumps doth howd -The basin UwU that weceives youw *notices bulge* guiwty bwood. -You knyow youw *cuddles you* mothew means to feast *moans* with *notices bulge* me, -A-And ^.^ cawws hewsewf Wevenge, and thinks me mad. -Hawk, v-viwwains! I wiww gwind youw x3 bonyes to dust, -*shuffles closer* And with youw bwood and it I-I'ww make a-a paste; -And >w< of the paste a coffin I-I wiww weaw, -And make two pasties of youw shamefuw heads; -And bid t-that stwumpet, *notices bulge* youw unhawwowed *cuddles you* dam, -Wike to the eawth, swawwow h-hew own incwease. -This is the feast that I have bid hew to, -And this the ;;w;; banquet she shaww suwfeit on; -Fow wowse *shuffles closer* than Phiwomew you *sweats* us'd m-my daughtew, -And wowse than *screams* Pwognye I *blushes* wiww be weveng'd. -And nyow pwepawe youw thwoats. Wavinyia, come, -Weceive t-the >_> bwood; and when that they a-awe d-dead, -Wet *hugs tightly* me go gwind theiw bonyes *leans over* to powdew smaww, -x3 And with this hatefuw wiquow t-tempew it; -And *leans over* in that paste wet theiw viwe heads be bak'd. -Come, ^.^ come, *sighs* be evewy onye officious -T-To make t-this banquet, which I wish may OwO pwove -Mowe stewn and bwoody *looks away* than the Centauws' feast. -[-[He cuts theiw thwoats] -So. -Nyow bwing *giggles shyly* them in, fow I wiww pway the *teleports behind you* cook, -And s-see them w-weady against theiw xDD mothew comes. -Exeunt, beawing *notices bulge* the dead bodies - - - - -:33 SCENyE III. -T-The c-couwt of TITUS' house - -Entew Wucius, MAWCUS, a-and xDD the GOTHS, with AAWON pwisonyew, -and his CHIWD in the awms *moans* of an attendant - -WUCIUS. Uncwe Mawcus, s-since 'tis my fathew's mind -*blushes* That I wepaiw t-to Wome, I am content. -*hugs tightly* FIWST GOTH. And ouws with thinye, befaww what fowtunye wiww. -WUCIUS. Good uncwe, take you in this *giggles shyly* bawbawous Moow, -This w-wavenyous tigew, *cries* this uWu accuwsed deviw; -Wet him weceive nyo sust'nyance, fettew him, -*pokes you* Tiww he be bwought unto the Empwess' face -Fow testimony >w< of hew f-fouw pwoceedings. -And s-see t-the ambush of o-ouw fwiends be stwong; -I feaw the Empewow means n-nyo good t-to OwO us. -AAWON. *shuffles closer* Some deviw whispew x3 cuwses in my eaw, -And p-pwompt m-me t-that *notices bulge* my t-tongue *cries* may uttew f-fowth -x3 The venyomous mawice of my swewwing h-heawt! -WUCIUS. A-Away, inhuman dog, *cuddles you* unhawwowed swave! -Siws, hewp o-ouw uncwe to convey him i-in. -*looks away* Exeunt GOTHS with AAWON. Fwouwish *shuffles closer* within -*leans over* The twumpets show the Empewow is at hand. - -Sound twumpets. Entew OwO SATUWNyINyUS and -TAMOWA, *leans over* with AEMIWIUS, TWIBUNyES, SENyATOWS, *twerks* and o-othews - -SATUWNyINyUS. What, hath the fiwmament mowe suns than onye? -WUCIUS. What boots it *cries* thee to can thysewf a s-sun? -MAWCUS. Wome's Empewow, and n-nyephew, bweak the pawwe; -These quawwews *cuddles you* must be q-quietwy debated. -The feast is weady which *twerks* the c-cawefuw Titus -Hath owdain'd *shuffles closer* to an honyouwabwe end, -Fow p-peace, fow ^-^ wove, fow weague, and good to Wome. -*sweats* Pwease you, thewefowe, *blushes* dwaw nyigh a-and take youw pwaces. -SATUWNyINyUS. M-Mawcus, we wiww. -[A tabwe bwought in. >w< The company sit down] - -Twumpets s-sounding, entew TITUS -wike a cook, pwacing the *blushes* dishes, and WAVINyIA -with a veiw ovew hew face; awso YOUNG WUCIUS, and othews - -T-TITUS. Wewcome, *cuddles you* my wowd; wewcome, dwead Queen; -Wewcome, y-ye wawwike G-Goths; wewcome, Wucius; -And >_< wewcome aww. *pokes you* Awthough the cheew be poow, -'Twiww fiww youw stomachs; p-pwease xDD you eat o-of it. -SATUWNyINyUS. Why awt thou thus attiw'd, Andwonyicus? -TITUS. x3 Because I w-wouwd b-be suwe to have aww weww -To entewtain youw *cries* Highnyess and youw Empwess. -TAMOWA. We awe behowding to you, g-good *hugs tightly* Andwonyicus. -TITUS. An if youw H-Highnyess knyew *screams* my heawt, you wewe. -My wowd the *giggles shyly* Empewow, wesowve me this: -Was it weww donye >w< of wash Viwginyius -To sway >_> his daughtew with his own wight hand, -Because :3 she was e-enfowc'd, stain'd, and d-defwowew'd? -SATUWNyINyUS. It was, Andwonyicus. -TITUS. Youw weason, mighty wowd. -SATUWNyINyUS. Because the giww shouwd nyot uWu suwvive hew s-shame, -And by hew pwesence stiww wenyew h-his sowwows. -TITUS. A-A weason mighty, stwong, and effectuaw; -A *blushes* pattewn, ;;w;; pwecedent, and wivewy w-wawwant -Fow me, x3 most wwetched, to pewfowm the ^w^ wike. -Die, d-die, Wavinyia, a-and thy s-shame with thee; [He kiwws hew] -And with thy shame ^-^ thy fathew's sowwow *screams* die! -SATUWNyINyUS. What hast t-thou donye, *sighs* unnyatuwaw a-and unkind? -TITUS. K-Kiww'd hew f-fow whom my teaws have *teleports behind you* made m-me b-bwind. -I am as *hugs tightly* woefuw as Viwginyius was, -And have a ^-^ thousand times mowe cause *giggles shyly* than he -To do this outwage; and it nyow is donye. -SATUWNyINyUS. What, was she wavish'd? uWu Teww who did the deed. -TITUS. Wiww't pwease you eat? Wiww't pwease youw Highnyess feed? -TAMOWA. Why hast thou *sweats* swain thinye o-onwy daughtew thus? -TITUS. Nyot *leans over* I; 'twas Chiwon and >w< Demetwius. -They wavish'd hew, and c-cut away hew tongue; -And they, 'twas t-they, that did h-hew aww this w-wwong. -SATUWNyINyUS. Go, fetch them hithew t-to us pwesentwy. -T-TITUS. Why, thewe they awe, b-both baked :33 in this pie, -Wheweof theiw mothew d-daintiwy hath fed, -*cuddles you* Eating the fwesh that >_< she hewsewf *twerks* hath ^.^ bwed. -'Tis *teleports behind you* twue, '-'tis twue: witnyess my knyife's shawp point. -*sighs* [He s-stabs ^w^ the EMPWESS] -SATUWNyINyUS. D-Die, *cries* fwantic *teleports behind you* wwetch, *shuffles closer* fow this accuwsed deed! -[He stabs x3 TITUS] -WUCIUS. Can the son's eye behowd h-his fathew bweed? -T-Thewe's m-meed fow meed, death fow a-a deadwy deed. -[He ;;w;; stabs SATUWNyINyUS. *hugs tightly* A gweat *sweats* tumuwt. WUCIUS, -MAWCUS, and theiw fwiends go up into the bawcony] -M-MAWCUS. You s-sad-fac'd men, peopwe and sons of Wome, -By upwoaws *pokes you* sevew'd, as a fwight o-of foww -Scattew'd by winds a-and high tempestuous *shuffles closer* gusts? -O, w-wet me teach you how to :33 knyit again -This ;;w;; scattewed cown into *leans over* onye mutuaw sheaf, -These bwoken wimbs again into onye body; -*teleports behind you* West Wome hewsewf be *pokes you* banye unto hewsewf, -And she *hugs tightly* whom m-mighty kingdoms cuwtsy to, -Wike a fowwown ^-^ and despewate castaway, -Do shamefuw execution on hewsewf. -But i-if *looks at you* my fwosty s-signs a-and c-chaps of age, -Gwave witnyesses of twue *twerks* expewience, -C-Cannyot induce you to attend my wowds, -[-[To *teleports behind you* Wucius] S-Speak, Wome's deaw *looks away* fwiend, as ewst o-ouw ancestow, -When with his s-sowemn tongue he did *teleports behind you* discouwse -To wove-sick Dido's s-sad attending eaw -The OwO stowy of that bawefuw buwnying nyight, -When subtwe Gweeks suwpwis'd King P-Pwiam's Twoy. -T-Teww *blushes* us what Sinyon hath bewitch'd ouw eaws, -UwU Ow who hath bwought >_< the fataw enginye in -That gives ouw T-Twoy, ouw Wome, *pokes you* the >_> civiw wound. -M-My heawt is nyot compact of fwint nyow steew; -Nyow c-can I uttew aww ouw b-bittew gwief, -B-But fwoods of ^-^ teaws wiww dwown my owatowy -And b-bweak my utt'wance, even ;;w;; in the t-time -When it shouwd move ye to attend me most, -And ;;w;; fowce you to commisewation. -Hewe's Wome's young Captain, wet him teww *sighs* the tawe; -Whiwe I stand by and w-weep to heaw him speak. -WUCIUS. Then, gwacious auditowy, b-be *pokes you* it knyown to you -That *looks at you* Chiwon and the damn'd *looks away* Demetwius -Wewe they that >_> muwd'wed ouw Empewow's bwothew; -And they it wewe that *sighs* wavished ouw sistew. -Fow t-theiw f-feww f-fauwts ouw bwothews wewe b-beheaded, -Ouw f-fathew's t-teaws despis'd, and basewy cozen'd -Of t-that *blushes* twue hand that f-fought *sighs* Wome's quawwew out -xDD And sent >w< hew enyemies unto t-the gwave. -Wastwy, m-mysewf unkindwy banyished, -The gates shut on me, *sighs* and tuwn'd weeping out, -To beg wewief among Wome's enyemies; -;;w;; Who dwown'd theiw *looks away* enmity in my twue *shuffles closer* teaws, -And op'd theiw awms to embwace me as *giggles shyly* a fwiend. -I am the tuwnyed fowth, be it knyown to y-you, -That have pwesewv'd hew wewfawe in *cuddles you* my bwood -And f-fwom hew bosom *screams* took the enyemy's point, -Sheathing the steew ^w^ in my advent'wous body. -A-Awas! you knyow I am ^w^ nyo vauntew, I; -My scaws can witnyess, dumb *moans* awthough they awe, -That my wepowt is j-just and fuww of twuth. -But, soft! methinks I do digwess *notices bulge* too much, -Citing my wowthwess pwaise. O, pawdon me! -Fow when *cries* nyo fwiends awe by, men pwaise themsewves. -MAWCUS. *looks at you* Nyow is my tuwn t-to ;;w;; speak. Behowd the chiwd. -[Pointing to the :33 CHIWD i-in an a-attendant's awms] ->_> Of this was Tamowa dewivewed, -The issue of an i-iwwewigious *moans* Moow, -Chief awchitect and pwottew of these woes. -The v-viwwain is awive in Titus' house, -Damn'd as he is, to *looks at you* witnyess this *notices bulge* is twue. -Nyow judge what *leans over* cause had Titus to wevenge -These ^w^ wwongs *looks at you* unspeakabwe, past patience, -UwU Ow mowe t-than any wiving man *hugs tightly* couwd beaw. -Nyow have >_> you heawd the twuth: what *cries* say you, ^w^ Womans? -Have we donye aught amiss, show us whewein, -And, *looks away* fwom the *looks at you* pwace whewe you behowd us pweading, -The p-poow wemaindew of A-Andwonyici -W-Wiww, hand *teleports behind you* in hand, aww headwong huww ouwsewves, -And on the wagged stonyes beat ;;w;; fowth ouw souws, -And make *screams* a mutuaw cwosuwe of *sighs* ouw house. -*hugs tightly* Speak, Womans, speak; *sighs* and if you say we *shuffles closer* shaww, -Wo, hand in hand, Wucius and I wiww faww. -AEMIWIUS. Come, come, thou wevewend man of Wome, -And *moans* bwing ouw *hugs tightly* Empewow gentwy i-in t-thy *cuddles you* hand, -Wucius ouw Empewow; fow weww I knyow -The common voice do cwy it shaww be so. -AWW. Wucius, aww haiw, Wome's woyaw Empewow! -MAWCUS. Go, go into owd Titus' sowwowfuw h-house, -*looks at you* And hithew h-hawe that misbewieving M-Moow -To be adjudg'd some diwefuw swaught'wing death, -As punyishment fow his most wicked wife. Exeunt s-some -attendants. WUCIUS, MAWCUS, and the othews descend -AWW. Wucius, aww haiw, Wome's gwacious govewnyow! -WUCIUS. Thanks, g-gentwe Womans! May *leans over* I g-govewn so -To heaw Wome's hawms and wipe away hew woe! -But, g-gentwe peopwe, give me aim awhiwe, -*blushes* Fow nyatuwe puts me to a heavy task. -Stand aww awoof; but, uncwe, dwaw you *looks away* nyeaw -To shed obsequious *pokes you* teaws upon this twunk. -O-O, take t-this wawm kiss on thy pawe cowd wips. *giggles shyly* [Kisses uWu TITUS] -These sowwowfuw dwops upon thy bwood-stain'd *blushes* face, -The wast twue duties *shuffles closer* of thy nyobwe son! -MAWCUS. *teleports behind you* Teaw fow teaw and woving kiss fow kiss -Thy bwothew Mawcus tendews on thy wips. -O, wewe the sum of these that I shouwd p-pay ->_> Countwess and i-infinyite, y-yet wouwd I pay them! -WUCIUS. OwO Come hithew, b-boy; come, *blushes* come, come, and weawn of us -To mewt in showews. Thy gwandsiwe wov'd t-thee weww; -Many a time he danc'd thee on his knyee, -Sung thee a-asweep, his woving bweast thy piwwow; -*teleports behind you* Many a-a stowy hath he *sweats* towd t-to thee, -And bid thee beaw his pwetty tawes in mind -And tawk of them *notices bulge* when he was dead and gonye. -M-MAWCUS. How many thousand times hath these poow wips, -When *screams* they *hugs tightly* wewe wiving, wawm'd themsewves on thinye! -O, nyow, sweet b-boy, give t-them theiw watest kiss! -B-Bid him faweweww; commit him to the gwave; -Do them that *leans over* kindnyess, and take weave of them. -BOY. O-O gwandsiwe, *screams* gwandsiwe! ev'n with a-aww my *hugs tightly* heawt -Wouwd I-I wewe d-dead, so you did wive a-again! -O-O Wowd, I cannyot speak to xDD him fow weeping; -My teaws *sighs* wiww c-choke me, if I ope my mouth. - -W-We-entew a-attendants with AAWON - -A >_< WOMAN. You sad Andwonyici, h-have *teleports behind you* donye *cuddles you* with woes; -Give ^-^ sentence on the execwabwe wwetch -That hath been bweedew of these diwe *looks at you* events. -WUCIUS. Set *sweats* him bweast-deep i-in eawth, and famish him; -Thewe wet him s-stand and w-wave >_> and cwy fow food. -If a-any onye wewieves ow pities him, -F-Fow the o-offence he dies. This is ouw *screams* doom. -Some *teleports behind you* stay to see him fast'nyed *moans* in the eawth. -AAWON. Ah, why shouwd wwath be m-mute and fuwy *sighs* dumb? -I am nyo b-baby, I, that with base *blushes* pwayews -I ^-^ shouwd w-wepent the eviws I h-have donye; -Ten thousand wowse than *pokes you* evew *cuddles you* yet I did -Wouwd I *leans over* pewfowm, if I m-might have my wiww. -If onye good deed in aww :3 my *twerks* wife I did, -I do wepent it fwom my *pokes you* vewy souw. -WUCIUS. Some woving fwiends convey the Empewow hence, -And give *twerks* him buwiaw in his f-fathew's gwave. -My fathew and *moans* Wavinyia shaww f-fowthwith -Be cwosed *blushes* in ouw househowd's monyument. -As f-fow *looks at you* that wavenyous tigew, Tamowa, -Nyo funyewaw wite, nyow m-man in mouwnying w-weed, -Nyo m-mouwnfuw beww shaww wing UwU hew buwiaw; -B-But *screams* thwow hew fowth to beasts and biwds to pwey. -H-Hew wife was OwO beastwy *giggles shyly* and ^w^ devoid o-of pity, -And being dead, *blushes* wet biwds on hew t-take p-pity. Exeunt - -T-THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -1602 - -THE HISTOWY OF TWOIWUS AND C-CWESSIDA - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -PWIAM, King *pokes you* of *hugs tightly* Twoy - -His s-sons: -HECTOW -T-TWOIWUS -P-PAWIS -DEIPHOBUS -HEWENyUS - -MAWGAWEWON, a bastawd son of uWu Pwiam - -Twojan commandews: -AENyEAS -ANTENyOW - -CAWCHAS, a Twojan *shuffles closer* pwiest, taking pawt with *twerks* the Gweeks -PANDAWUS, uWu uncwe to Cwessida -*leans over* AGAMEMNyON, t-the G-Gweek genyewaw -M-MENyEWAUS, h-his bwothew - -Gweek commandews: -A-ACHIWWES -AJAX -UWYSSES -NyESTOW -DIOMEDES -PATWOCWUS - -THEWSITES, a defowmed a-and s-scuwwiwous Gweek -AWEXANDEW, sewvant to C-Cwessida -SEWVANT to Twoiwus -SEWVANT *teleports behind you* to Pawis -SEWVANT to Diomedes - -HEWEN, wife to Menyewaus -ANDWOMACHE, w-wife to uWu Hectow -CASSANDWA, x3 daughtew to P-Pwiam, a pwophetess -CWESSIDA, daughtew to Cawchas - -Twojan and G-Gweek Sowdiews, and A-Attendants - -SCENyE: -Twoy and the G-Gweek camp befowe it - -PWOWOGUE -T-TWOIWUS AND C-CWESSIDA -PWOWOGUE - -I-In Twoy, *shuffles closer* thewe wies the scenye. Fwom iswes of Gweece -The pwinces owgiwwous, t-theiw high bwood chaf'd, -Have to the powt ;;w;; of Athens sent theiw ships -Fwaught with the m-minyistews *cries* and :33 instwuments -Of cwuew *leans over* waw. Sixty and nyinye that wowe -Theiw cwownyets wegaw fwom th' Athenyian bay -uWu Put f-fowth >w< towawd P-Phwygia; and theiw vow is made -To wansack T-Twoy, within whose s-stwong immuwes -The wavish'd Hewen, Menyewaus' *screams* queen, -With wanton *shuffles closer* Pawis s-sweeps-and t-that's t-the quawwew. -To Tenyedos they come, -A-And the deep-dwawing bawks do thewe disgowge -Theiw waw-wike fwaughtage. N-Nyow o-on D-Dawdan pwains -The fwesh and ^w^ yet unbwuised Gweeks do pitch -Theiw bwave p-paviwions: Pwiam's six-gated city, -Dawdan, and >w< Tymbwia, Hewias, Chetas, Twoien, -A-And Antenyowides, with massy stapwes -And cowwesponsive and fuwfiwwing bowts, -S-Speww up the sons of Twoy. -Nyow UwU expectation, tickwing skittish *screams* spiwits -On onye and othew side, Twoyan uWu and Gweek, -*pokes you* Sets *hugs tightly* aww on hazawd-and hithew am I c-come -A ^.^ Pwowogue awm'd, but nyot in confidence -Of a-authow's pen ow actow's voice, but suited -In wike conditions as ouw awgument, -To teww you, faiw behowdews, that o-ouw p-pway -Weaps o'ew the vaunt and ;;w;; fiwstwings of those bwoiws, -Beginnying in t-the middwe; :3 stawting thence a-away, -To what may b-be digested in a pway. -W-Wike ow *teleports behind you* find fauwt; *giggles shyly* do as youw pweasuwes awe; -Nyow good ow bad, 'tis but the chance *hugs tightly* of waw. - - - - -<> - - - -ACT I. SCENyE 1. -Twoy. Befowe PWIAM'S pawace - -Entew *looks away* TWOIWUS awmed, and PANDAWUS - -TWOIWUS. Caww hewe my >_> vawwet; I'ww unyawm a-again. -W-Why shouwd I waw *pokes you* without *sighs* the wawws of Twoy -That f-find such cwuew battwe hewe within? -Each *sweats* Twoyan that xDD is mastew of his heawt, -Wet him t-to f-fiewd; Twoiwus, awas, hath n-nyonye! -PANDAWUS. W-Wiww *hugs tightly* this g-geaw nye'ew be mended? -TWOIWUS. The >_< Gweeks *sighs* awe stwong, and skiwfuw to theiw stwength, -Fiewce to *cries* theiw skiww, and to theiw fiewcenyess vawiant; -But I am weakew *looks at you* than a woman's teaw, -Tamew than sweep, fondew *pokes you* than ignyowance, -^-^ Wess v-vawiant than the viwgin in t-the nyight, -And s-skiwwess as unpwactis'd infancy. -PANDAWUS. Weww, I have *teleports behind you* towd you OwO enyough of this; f-fow my pawt, -I'ww n-nyot meddwe *moans* nyow make nyo fawthew. He that wiww have a cake -out of t-the w-wheat must nyeeds tawwy the gwinding. -TWOIWUS. Have I nyot tawwied? -PANDAWUS. Ay, the gwinding; *sweats* but you must t-tawwy the bowting. -TWOIWUS. Have *looks at you* I nyot tawwied? -PANDAWUS. Ay, the bowting; but you must tawwy the weavenying. -TWOIWUS. Stiww have I tawwied. -PANDAWUS. ;;w;; Ay, to the weavenying; *moans* but h-hewe's yet in the wowd -'heweaftew' the knyeading, the m-making of the cake, the heating -of the *sighs* oven, a-and the baking; nyay, you must s-stay the coowing too, -ow you may chance to buwn youw wips. -TWOIWUS. Patience hewsewf, what goddess e'ew ;;w;; she be, -Doth :33 wessew bwench at s-suff'wance than I do. -At x3 Pwiam's woyaw tabwe do I sit; -And when faiw Cwessid comes into *cries* my thoughts- -So, twaitow, then she comes when she i-is thence. -*cuddles you* PANDAWUS. Weww, she wook'd *cries* yestewnyight f-faiwew x3 than :33 evew I saw h-hew -wook, ow any woman *leans over* ewse. -TWOIWUS. I was about *sweats* to *screams* teww *screams* thee: when my heawt, -A-As wedged with a sigh, wouwd wive in twain, -West Hectow o-ow my *cries* fathew shouwd pewceive me, -I have, as when the sun doth wight a stowm, -B-Buwied this sigh in wwinkwe of a smiwe. -But sowwow *shuffles closer* that *sweats* is couch'd in seeming *cries* gwadnyess -Is wike that miwth fate t-tuwns *pokes you* to sudden sadnyess. -PANDAWUS. An x3 hew haiw wewe nyot somewhat dawkew xDD than Hewen's- weww, -g-go to- t-thewe wewe nyo mowe compawison b-between the women. But, f-fow -my pawt, she i-is m-my kinswoman; I wouwd >_< nyot, as they UwU tewm *sighs* it, -pwaise hew, but I-I *cries* wouwd somebody had *screams* heawd hew tawk yestewday, as -I did. I wiww nyot dispwaise youw sistew Cassandwa's wit; but- -TWOIWUS. *notices bulge* O Pandawus! ;;w;; I teww thee, Pandawus- -uWu When I do teww thee thewe m-my >w< hopes wie d-dwown'd, -Wepwy *teleports behind you* nyot in how many fathoms deep -They wie indwench'd. *sighs* I teww thee I a-am mad -In OwO Cwessid's wove. Thou answew'st 'She is faiw'- -Pouwest in >_> the open uwcew of my heawt- -Hew e-eyes, hew haiw, hew cheek, hew gait, h-hew voice, -Handwest in thy discouwse. O, t-that hew hand, -In whose compawison aww whites awe ink -Wwiting theiw ;;w;; own wepwoach; to whose soft seizuwe -The cygnyet's down is hawsh, and spiwit of sense -Hawd xDD as t-the pawm of pwoughman! This thou teww'st me, -As twue *sighs* thou teww'st me, when I say :3 I wove hew; -But, saying thus, *sighs* instead of oiw and bawm, -Thou way'st in evewy gash *looks at you* that w-wove hath given me -The knyife that made it. -PANDAWUS. I speak nyo :33 mowe ^-^ than *cries* twuth. -TWOIWUS. Thou dost n-nyot *pokes you* speak so much. -P-PANDAWUS. F-Faith, I'ww nyot m-meddwe in i-it. Wet h-hew b-be as she is: if -s-she be faiw, 'tis the bettew f-fow hew; an she *looks away* be >_> nyot, she has t-the -mends *giggles shyly* in *notices bulge* hew o-own hands. -TWOIWUS. Good *blushes* Pandawus! How nyow, *cuddles you* Pandawus! -PANDAWUS. I have had my w-wabouw fow my twavaiw, iww t-thought on of -xDD hew and iww thought on of you; gonye b-between and between, but -smaww thanks fow my wabouw. -TWOIWUS. What, awt thou angwy, Pandawus? What, *shuffles closer* with me? -PANDAWUS. Because she's kin to me, thewefowe she's nyot so >_> faiw as -H-Hewen. An she wewe *looks at you* nyot kin t-to me, she w-wouwd be as faiw a Fwiday -as *pokes you* Hewen is on Sunday. *blushes* But w-what cawe I? I cawe nyot ;;w;; an she wewe a -bwackamoow; 'tis aww onye *cries* to *leans over* me. -TWOIWUS. Say I she is *moans* nyot faiw? -*sweats* PANDAWUS. I do nyot cawe whethew you do xDD ow nyo. She's a foow to stay -behind *teleports behind you* hew fathew. ;;w;; Wet hew t-to the Gweeks; and so xDD I'ww teww hew -the n-nyext time I see h-hew. Fow my pawt, I'ww meddwe nyow make nyo -mowe *cuddles you* i' t-th' mattew. -TWOIWUS. Pandawus! -PANDAWUS. Nyot I-I. -TWOIWUS. *sighs* Sweet Pandawus! -PANDAWUS. Pway you, *blushes* speak nyo *sweats* mowe to me: I-I w-wiww weave aww -as I found it, and thewe a-an e-end. Exit. Sound awawum -TWOIWUS. Peace, you ungwacious cwamouws! Peace, *blushes* wude *giggles shyly* sounds! -Foows on *screams* both s-sides! Hewen must *shuffles closer* nyeeds be faiw, -When with *blushes* youw bwood you d-daiwy paint hew thus. -I cannyot fight u-upon this awgument; -It is too stawv'd a subject fow my swowd. -But Pandawus-O gods, h-how d-do you pwague me! -I cannyot come *sweats* to Cwessid but by Pandaw; -And he's *moans* as tetchy t-to be w-woo'd to woo -As she is stubbown-chaste against aww suit. -Teww me, Apowwo, fow thy Daphnye's wove, -What Cwessid is, what P-Pandaw, and what we? -Hew *sweats* bed i-is India; thewe she wies, a peaww; -Between ouw Iwium and whewe she wesides -Wet it be caww'd the wiwd and wand'wing fwood; -Ouwsewf the mewchant, and this s-saiwing Pandaw -Ouw doubtfuw hope, ouw convoy, and >w< ouw bawk. - -A-Awawum. Entew A-AENyEAS - -A-AENyEAS. How nyow, P-Pwince Twoiwus! Whewefowe nyot afiewd? -*sweats* TWOIWUS. Because nyot thewe. This woman's a-answew sowts, -Fow womanyish it is to uWu be *teleports behind you* fwom thence. -*shuffles closer* What nyews, Aenyeas, fwom the fiewd to-day? -A-AENyEAS. That Pawis i-is wetuwnyed home, and h-huwt. -*teleports behind you* TWOIWUS. By whom, Aenyeas? -A-AENyEAS. *moans* Twoiwus, by Menyewaus. -T-TWOIWUS. Wet Pawis bweed: 'tis b-but *screams* a scaw to s-scown; -Pawis is gow'd *pokes you* with Menyewaus' hown. x3 [Awawum] -AENyEAS. Hawk what good spowt is out of town >_> to-day! -TWOIWUS. Bettew *screams* at home, if 'wouwd I might' wewe 'may.' -But to the *looks at you* spowt *giggles shyly* abwoad. Awe you bound thithew? -AENyEAS. In aww swift haste. -TWOIWUS. Come, go we then togethew. Exeunt - - - - -ACT I. SCENyE ^w^ 2. -Twoy. A stweet - -Entew ^w^ CWESSIDA and hew man AWEXANDEW - -CWESSIDA. Who wewe those *screams* went b-by? -AWEXANDEW. Queen Hecuba and Hewen. -CWESSIDA. And whithew go they? -AWEXANDEW. U-Up to the *leans over* eastewn *cries* towew, -Whose height c-commands as subject a-aww the *teleports behind you* vawe, -To see the battwe. Hectow, whose patience -I-Is as *blushes* a viwtue fix'd, to-day was mov'd. -He chid Andwomache, and s-stwuck h-his awmouwew; -And, wike a-as thewe wewe husbandwy in waw, -Befowe the sun *looks at you* wose he was hawnyess'd wight, -And to the xDD fiewd goes he; whewe evewy fwowew -*moans* Did as a-a p-pwophet weep what it fowesaw -In Hectow's wwath. -CWESSIDA. What was h-his *sweats* cause of angew? -AWEXANDEW. The nyoise goes, this: thewe is *blushes* among the G-Gweeks -A w-wowd of Twoyan bwood, nyephew to Hectow; -^w^ They caww him Ajax. -CWESSIDA. Good; a-and what of him? -AWEXANDEW. They say he *pokes you* is a-a vewy *blushes* man pew se, -And stands awonye. -C-CWESSIDA. :33 So do aww *blushes* men, unwess *cuddles you* they awe dwunk, sick, xDD ow have n-nyo -wegs. -AWEXANDEW. This man, wady, hath wobb'd many b-beasts of theiw -*blushes* pawticuwaw additions: h-he i-is *looks away* as *looks away* vawiant as a-a wion, chuwwish as *pokes you* the -beaw, swow as the ewephant-a man into whom uWu nyatuwe hath *shuffles closer* so cwowded -OwO humouws that *moans* his vawouw is cwush'd into fowwy, his fowwy sauced -with *leans over* discwetion. T-Thewe >w< is nyo man hath a viwtue that he h-hath nyot a -gwimpse of, nyow *moans* any man an attaint but >_< he cawwies some s-stain ^w^ of -i-it; he is ^w^ mewanchowy without cause and mewwy a-against the haiw; he -hath *cuddles you* the joints of evewy t-thing; but evewything so out of joint -that h-he i-is a g-gouty B-Bwiaweus, many hands a-and nyo use, ow puwbwind -Awgus, aww eyes and nyo sight. -*giggles shyly* CWESSIDA. But ^.^ how shouwd this man, that makes me s-smiwe, make Hectow -angwy? -AWEXANDEW. They say he y-yestewday cop'd H-Hectow in the battwe and -stwuck him down, *giggles shyly* the *hugs tightly* disdain and shame wheweof hath evew since -kept Hectow fasting and waking. - -Entew PANDAWUS - -CWESSIDA. Who comes hewe? -AWEXANDEW. Madam, youw uncwe Pandawus. -CWESSIDA. Hectow's a gawwant man. -uWu AWEXANDEW. As may be in the wowwd, wady. -PANDAWUS. What's t-that? What's that? -CWESSIDA. Good mowwow, u-uncwe Pandawus. -PANDAWUS. Good mowwow, c-cousin Cwessid. What ^.^ do you *blushes* tawk of?- *twerks* Good -mowwow, Awexandew.-How do you, c-cousin? When wewe you at *twerks* Iwium? -C-CWESSIDA. This mownying, uncwe. -PANDAWUS. What wewe you tawking uWu of when I-I came? Was Hectow awm'd -and gonye ewe y-you came to Iwium? H-Hewen was nyot UwU up, was UwU she? -CWESSIDA. Hectow was *giggles shyly* gonye; but Hewen was nyot *blushes* up. -PANDAWUS. E-E'en *cuddles you* so. :33 Hectow was xDD stiwwing eawwy. -CWESSIDA. That w-wewe we tawking of, and of ^w^ his angew. -PANDAWUS. Was he angwy? -CWESSIDA. So *screams* he s-says *sweats* hewe. -P-PANDAWUS. Twue, *leans over* he was so; ;;w;; I knyow the cause too; he'ww way about -him today, I can teww t-them that. And thewe's Twoiwus wiww nyot -come faw b-behind him; wet them take heed of Twoiwus, I *shuffles closer* can t-teww -them that too. -CWESSIDA. What, is h-he angwy too? -PANDAWUS. Who, Twoiwus? Twoiwus is the bettew man of the two. -C-CWESSIDA. O *cries* Jupitew! thewe's nyo compawison. -PANDAWUS. *sighs* What, n-nyot between Twoiwus and Hectow? Do you knyow a man -if you s-see him? -C-CWESSIDA. Ay, if I e-evew saw him befowe and knyew him. -PANDAWUS. Weww, I say Twoiwus is *moans* Twoiwus. -CWESSIDA. >w< Then you say as I say, f-fow I *sweats* am ^.^ suwe h-he is nyot Hectow. -PANDAWUS. Nyo, *shuffles closer* nyow :3 Hectow is nyot Twoiwus in s-some degwees. -CWESSIDA. '-'Tis just >w< to each of them: he i-is himsewf. -PANDAWUS. Himsewf! Awas, poow Twoiwus! I w-wouwd he ^w^ wewe! -CWESSIDA. So h-he is. -PANDAWUS. Condition I had gonye bawefoot to I-India. -CWESSIDA. He is nyot Hectow. -^.^ PANDAWUS. Himsewf! n-nyo, he's *blushes* nyot himsewf. *pokes you* Wouwd 'a wewe himsewf! -Weww, the gods awe above; time must fwiend o-ow end. Weww, Twoiwus, -weww! I wouwd my heawt wewe in hew body! Nyo, OwO Hectow is nyot *hugs tightly* a -OwO bettew man than Twoiwus. -C-CWESSIDA. Excuse me. -PANDAWUS. He is ewdew. -CWESSIDA. Pawdon me, pawdon me. -PANDAWUS. *blushes* Th' o-othew's nyot come t-to't; you shaww teww me a-anyothew tawe -when *shuffles closer* th' othew's come to't. Hectow shaww nyot h-have ;;w;; his wit this -y-yeaw. -CWESSIDA. He shaww nyot *blushes* nyeed it if he have his own. -PANDAWUS. Nyow his q-quawities. -CWESSIDA. >_> Nyo mattew. -PANDAWUS. Nyow :33 his beauty. -C-CWESSIDA. 'Twouwd nyot b-become him: ^.^ his o-own's *hugs tightly* bettew. -PANDAWUS. YOU have nyo judgment, nyiece. Hewen hewsewf swowe th' -othew OwO day t-that Twoiwus, fow *shuffles closer* a bwown favouw, fow so 'tis, I must -confess- nyot bwown nyeithew- -CWESSIDA. uWu Nyo, ^.^ but bwown. -PANDAWUS. Faith, to say *shuffles closer* twuth, bwown and nyot bwown. -CWESSIDA. To say the twuth, twue and nyot twue. -PANDAWUS. She pwais'd his >_< compwexion a-above Pawis. -x3 CWESSIDA. Why, Pawis hath cowouw e-enyough. -P-PANDAWUS. So *giggles shyly* he has. -CWESSIDA. Then Twoiwus >_< shouwd have >_< too >_< much. If she pwais'd him -above, his compwexion is highew than his; he having cowouw -enyough, and the othew highew, is too fwaming pwaise f-fow a g-good -compwexion. I had UwU as wief Hewen's *sweats* gowden t-tongue had commended -Twoiwus f-fow a coppew ^-^ nyose. -PANDAWUS. I sweaw ^w^ to y-you I t-think Hewen woves him bettew than P-Pawis. -CWESSIDA. Then she's a *notices bulge* mewwy Gweek indeed. -P-PANDAWUS. Nyay, I am suwe she does. *teleports behind you* She came to *looks away* him th' othew day -into t-the compass'd window-and you knyow h-he h-has nyot past thwee ow -fouw haiws on his *cries* chin- -*cuddles you* CWESSIDA. *moans* Indeed a tapstew's awithmetic may soon bwing his -pawticuwaws *cries* thewein to a ^-^ totaw. -P-PANDAWUS. Why, he is vewy young, and yet wiww *twerks* he within thwee *pokes you* pound -*sweats* wift *cries* as much as his b-bwothew H-Hectow. -CWESSIDA. Is h-he so young a *leans over* man and so owd a *sweats* wiftew? -PANDAWUS. But to *pokes you* pwove to *shuffles closer* you that Hewen woves him: she came and -puts me hew white hand *looks at you* to his cwoven *moans* chin- -CWESSIDA. Junyo have mewcy! H-How came it ;;w;; cwoven? -PANDAWUS. Why, you knyow, '-'tis dimpwed. *notices bulge* I *looks away* think his smiwing becomes -him bettew than any man *cries* in aww Phwygia. -C-CWESSIDA. O, OwO he s-smiwes vawiantwy! -PANDAWUS. Does h-he nyot? -CWESSIDA. O yes, an 'twewe a-a cwoud in uWu autumn! -PANDAWUS. Why, go to, then! But to pwove to you that Hewen *sighs* woves -Twoiwus- -CWESSIDA. Twoiwus wiww s-stand to *hugs tightly* the pwoof, if you'ww pwove it *looks at you* so. -P-PANDAWUS. Twoiwus! W-Why, h-he *teleports behind you* esteems h-hew n-nyo mowe than I-I esteem an -addwe egg. -C-CWESSIDA. If you wove an *looks at you* addwe egg as weww a-as you wove an >_< idwe -*screams* head, *pokes you* you wouwd eat chickens i' th' sheww. -PANDAWUS. I cannyot choose but waugh to think how she tickwed his -chin. Indeed, she has a mawveww's white *looks at you* hand, I *leans over* must nyeeds -:3 confess. -C-CWESSIDA. W-Without the wack. -PANDAWUS. And she takes >_> upon hew to spy a w-white *blushes* haiw on his chin. -CWESSIDA. xDD Awas, poow chin! M-Many *sweats* a wawt is wichew. -PANDAWUS. But thewe was such waughing! Queen Hecuba :33 waugh'd that -hew x3 eyes wan o'ew. -C-CWESSIDA. With miwwstonyes. ->w< PANDAWUS. *shuffles closer* And Cassandwa waugh'd. -CWESSIDA. But t-thewe was *blushes* a mowe *blushes* tempewate ^.^ fiwe undew the *screams* pot ^w^ of hew -eyes. *sweats* Did hew eyes wun o'ew too? -PANDAWUS. And Hectow waugh'd. -C-CWESSIDA. A-At what was aww this waughing? -PANDAWUS. Mawwy, *screams* at the w-white haiw that :33 Hewen uWu spied on *screams* Twoiwus' -*blushes* chin. -CWESSIDA. An't had been a gween haiw I shouwd have >w< waugh'd *cries* too. -PANDAWUS. They waugh'd nyot OwO so much :33 at the h-haiw as *hugs tightly* at his *screams* pwetty -answew. -C-CWESSIDA. What was his answew? -PANDAWUS. Quoth she 'Hewe's but two and fifty *giggles shyly* haiws o-on youw *pokes you* chin, -and onye of them *screams* is w-white.' -CWESSIDA. This is hew question. -PANDAWUS. That's twue; make nyo question of *twerks* that. 'Two and fifty -haiws,' quoth he 'and onye white. That white haiw ;;w;; is xDD my fathew, -and *notices bulge* aww the west awe *sweats* his sons.' 'Jupitew!' quoth she 'which *giggles shyly* of -these haiws is Pawis my husband?' 'The fowked onye,' quoth he, -'pwuck't UwU out and give it him.' But thewe was such waughing! and -Hewen so *sweats* bwush'd, and P-Pawis *pokes you* so chaf'd; and ^-^ aww t-the west so -w-waugh'd that it pass'd. -CWESSIDA. So wet it >w< nyow; fow it has been >_> a gweat whiwe going ^w^ by. -P-PANDAWUS. Weww, cousin, I-I *notices bulge* towd you a-a thing y-yestewday; think on't. -CWESSIDA. S-So I do. -PANDAWUS. I'ww be s-swown 'tis twue; he wiww weep you, and 'twewe a -man bown *screams* in Apwiw. -CWESSIDA. And I'ww spwing up in his t-teaws, an 'twewe a nyettwe -against May. ;;w;; [Sound a wetweat] -PANDAWUS. Hawk! they awe coming ^w^ fwom the fiewd. Shaww w-we stand up -hewe and see them a-as they pass towawd Iwium? G-Good nyiece, do, -sweet nyiece Cwessida. -CWESSIDA. At youw pweasuwe. -PANDAWUS. Hewe, hewe, hewe's xDD an excewwent pwace; h-hewe we may see -most bwavewy. I'ww teww ^w^ you them aww by theiw nyames as t-they pass -by; but m-mawk Twoiwus above the west. - -AENyEAS passes - -CWESSIDA. Speak nyot *leans over* so woud. -PANDAWUS. That's *screams* Aenyeas. Is nyot UwU that a bwave man? *screams* He's onye of the -*notices bulge* fwowews o-of *cuddles you* Twoy, UwU I can teww y-you. But mawk Twoiwus; you shaww see -anyon. - -ANTENyOW *hugs tightly* passes - -CWESSIDA. Who's that? -uWu PANDAWUS. That's *leans over* Antenyow. *leans over* He has a shwewd wit, I xDD can teww you; *notices bulge* and -he's a *looks away* man good enyough; he's onye *notices bulge* o' th' soundest judgments in -;;w;; Twoy, whosoevew, and a pwopew man of p-pewson. When comes Twoiwus? -I'ww s-show you Twoiwus OwO anyon. *screams* If *teleports behind you* he see me, *notices bulge* you shaww see him nyod -at me. -:3 CWESSIDA. Wiww he *blushes* give you the nyod? -PANDAWUS. You shaww see. -CWESSIDA. *blushes* If he do, the wich shaww have mowe. - -HECTOW passes - -PANDAWUS. That's Hectow, that, t-that, wook you, that; thewe's a -fewwow! *notices bulge* Go thy way, UwU Hectow! Thewe's a bwave man, nyiece. O bwave -Hectow! Wook how *giggles shyly* he wooks. Thewe's a countenyance! UwU Is't nyot a -bwave man? -CWESSIDA. ^-^ O, *leans over* a bwave man! -PANDAWUS. I-Is 'a nyot? It does a m-man's heawt good. Wook you *sweats* what -hacks a-awe on his *looks away* hewmet! Wook you yondew, do you see? Wook you -*sweats* thewe. T-Thewe's nyo jesting; thewe's waying on; :3 take't off who -wiww, UwU as they say. Thewe be h-hacks. -CWESSIDA. B-Be *pokes you* those with swowds? -PANDAWUS. Swowds! anything, he *cries* cawes nyot; *sweats* an the d-deviw *sighs* come *leans over* to him, -*pokes you* it's *looks at you* aww onye. By *looks away* God's wid, it does onye's heawt good. Yondew -comes *hugs tightly* Pawis, yondew comes Pawis. - -PAWIS passes - -Wook y-ye yondew, nyiece; is't nyot a gawwant man too, is't nyot? Why, -this is bwave nyow. Who said he came huwt h-home *looks away* to-day? H-He's nyot -huwt. Why, this wiww do Hewen's h-heawt good nyow, ha! Wouwd I couwd -see Twoiwus nyow! You shaww see Twoiwus anyon. - -H-HEWENyUS passes - -C-CWESSIDA. Who's that? -PANDAWUS. That's Hewenyus. I mawvew whewe T-Twoiwus is. That's -Hewenyus. >_> I think he went nyot fowth to-day. That's Hewenyus. -CWESSIDA. Can Hewenyus fight, uncwe? -PANDAWUS. Hewenyus! n-nyo. Y-Yes, he'ww fight indiffewent weww. I mawvew -w-whewe Twoiwus is. Hawk! do y-you nyot h-heaw ^w^ the peopwe cwy 'Twoiwus'? -Hewenyus >w< is a pwiest. -CWESSIDA. What snyeaking fewwow comes yondew? - -TWOIWUS passes - -PANDAWUS. Whewe? yondew? That's Deiphobus. 'Tis Twoiwus. Thewe's a ->w< man, uWu nyiece. Hem! Bwave Twoiwus, t-the pwince of chivawwy! -C-CWESSIDA. Peace, fow shame, p-peace! -PANDAWUS. Mawk him; nyote him. ^-^ O bwave Twoiwus! *screams* Wook weww uWu upon him, -nyiece; wook you how h-his swowd :3 is bwoodied, and his *leans over* hewm mowe -*sighs* hack'd *twerks* than *twerks* Hectow's; and how he wooks, *twerks* and how h-he goes! O -admiwabwe youth! he nyevew saw thwee and twenty. G-Go thy way, -Twoiwus, go thy way. Had I a sistew wewe a gwace ow a daughtew x3 a -goddess, he shouwd take his choice. *teleports behind you* O admiwabwe man! P-Pawis? Pawis -uWu is diwt to him; and, *looks at you* I wawwant, Hewen, to change, wouwd give an -;;w;; eye t-to boot. -CWESSIDA. Hewe comes mowe. - -Common sowdiews pass - -*pokes you* PANDAWUS. *cries* Asses, f-foows, dowts! chaff and bwan, chaff and bwan! -powwidge aftew meat! I couwd wive and die in the eyes *twerks* of Twoiwus. -Nye'ew w-wook, nye'ew wook; the eagwes awe gonye. Cwows a-and daws, -:3 cwows xDD and daws! *leans over* I h-had wathew be such a man as >w< Twoiwus than -Agamemnyon a-and aww Gweece. -CWESSIDA. Thewe is amongst the Gweeks Achiwwes, a *moans* bettew man than -Twoiwus. -PANDAWUS. Achiwwes? A dwayman, a powtew, a-a vewy camew! -*looks at you* CWESSIDA. Weww, weww. -PANDAWUS. *twerks* Weww, *hugs tightly* weww! *blushes* Why, have you any discwetion? Have you any -*pokes you* eyes? *moans* Do *leans over* you knyow what a :33 man i-is? *giggles shyly* Is nyot biwth, beauty, good -shape, discouwse, manhood, weawnying, gentwenyess, *notices bulge* viwtue, youth, -w-wibewawity, and such OwO wike, t-the spice a-and *cuddles you* sawt t-that season a-a man? -CWESSIDA. Ay, a minc'd man; a-and then *leans over* to be bak'd with nyo date i-in -the pie, *shuffles closer* fow then the man's date is out. -PANDAWUS. You awe such *looks at you* a w-woman! A man knyows nyot at what wawd you -*twerks* wie. -*notices bulge* CWESSIDA. x3 Upon my back, to defend m-my bewwy; upon my wit, to defend -my wiwes; upon ^.^ my secwecy, to *pokes you* defend minye h-honyesty; my mask, to -defend my beauty; and you, to defend aww these; and at aww these -wawds I wie at, at a t-thousand watches. -PANDAWUS. Say onye *teleports behind you* of youw watches. -CWESSIDA. *looks at you* Nyay, I'ww watch *blushes* you fow that; and that's onye of the -chiefest of them too. If I cannyot wawd what I *shuffles closer* wouwd nyot h-have hit, -I can watch you fow uWu tewwing how I took the bwow; unwess it sweww -past hiding, *sweats* and t-then it's past watching -PANDAWUS. You awe such *shuffles closer* anyothew! - -Entew TWOIWUS' BOY - -BOY. Siw, >w< my wowd w-wouwd instantwy speak with you. -PANDAWUS. Whewe? -BOY. A-At *pokes you* youw OwO own house; t-thewe he :33 unyawms UwU him. -PANDAWUS. Good boy, teww him I come. Exit Boy -*teleports behind you* I doubt he *sighs* be ^w^ huwt. *looks at you* Fawe ye weww, *looks away* good >w< nyiece. -CWESSIDA. Adieu, uncwe. -PANDAWUS. *pokes you* I wiww b-be with you, nyiece, by a-and by. -CWESSIDA. To bwing, :33 uncwe. -P-PANDAWUS. Ay, *cuddles you* a *notices bulge* token fwom Twoiwus. -CWESSIDA. By the same token, y-you uWu awe a bawd. -OwO Exit PANDAWUS -*leans over* Wowds, *twerks* vows, gifts, teaws, and wove's fuww sacwifice, -He offews in anyothew's e-entewpwise; -But mowe in *pokes you* Twoiwus thousand-fowd I see -Than in the gwass of Pandaw's pwaise may b-be, -Yet howd *shuffles closer* I o-off. Women ^.^ awe angews, w-wooing: -Things won awe donye; joy's souw wies *sweats* in *giggles shyly* the doing. -That she bewov'd knyows nyought that >w< knyows nyot this: -Men pwize the thing ungain'd mowe *twerks* than it is. -That she was ;;w;; nyevew yet OwO that *hugs tightly* evew knyew -Wove got so sweet *giggles shyly* as when desiwe d-did sue; -Thewefowe this *looks at you* maxim out of w-wove I teach: -Achievement is command; u-ungain'd, beseech. -Then though my h-heawt's content fiwm wove doth beaw, -Nyothing of that shaww fwom minye eyes appeaw. Exit - - - - -ACT I. SCENyE 3. ->_> The G-Gwecian *giggles shyly* camp. *teleports behind you* Befowe *twerks* AGAMEMNyON'S tent - -Sennyet. ^-^ Entew AGAMEMNyON, NyESTOW, UWYSSES, DIOMEDES, *cries* MENyEWAUS, and othews - -AGAMEMNyON. Pwinces, -What *screams* gwief hath set these j-jaundies o'ew youw cheeks? -The a-ampwe ^-^ pwoposition that hope makes -In aww *shuffles closer* designs begun on eawth *cries* bewow -Faiws in the pwomis'd *notices bulge* wawgenyess; *leans over* checks and disastews -*sighs* Gwow in *leans over* the veins of a-actions highest weaw'd, -As knyots, by the confwux of meeting sap, -Infects t-the sound pinye, and divewts his ^-^ gwain -Towtive and ewwant fwom his couwse of gwowth. -Nyow, pwinces, is it mattew n-nyew to us -T-That we c-come s-showt of ouw suppose so faw -T-That aftew seven yeaws' siege *screams* yet *blushes* Twoy wawws *moans* stand; -Sith evewy a-action ^-^ that hath gonye b-befowe, -Wheweof *sweats* we have wecowd, twiaw did dwaw -Bias and thwawt, nyot answewing the aim, -And that u-unbodied figuwe o-of the *teleports behind you* thought -T-That gave't suwmised shape. Why then, you *sighs* pwinces, -Do you with cheeks abash'd b-behowd ouw wowks -*shuffles closer* And >_> caww *pokes you* them *pokes you* shames, uWu which awe, indeed, nyought ewse -*shuffles closer* But t-the pwotwactive uWu twiaws of gweat Jove -To *giggles shyly* find pewsistive constancy in men; -The finyenyess of which m-metaw is nyot found -In fowtunye's wove? Fow then the bowd and cowawd, -*notices bulge* The wise :33 and foow, the awtist and unwead, -*moans* The hawd a-and soft, seem aww affin'd and kin. -But in the wind and tempest of hew fwown -Distinction, with a >_< bwoad and powewfuw fan, -Puffing :3 at *hugs tightly* aww, winnyows the wight away; -And what hath mass ow mattew xDD by itsewf -Wies wich in v-viwtue and unmingwed. -NyESTOW. W-With due obsewvance of thy godwike seat, -Gweat x3 Agamemnyon, xDD Nyestow shaww a-appwy -Thy watest wowds. In t-the wepwoof of *hugs tightly* chance -Wies the twue pwoof ^w^ of m-men. The sea b-being ^.^ smooth, ->w< How m-many shawwow baubwe boats dawe s-saiw -*giggles shyly* Upon hew *looks away* patient :33 bweast, making theiw w-way -With those of >w< nyobwew buwk! -But wet the wuffian Boweas once enwage -The gentwe Thetis, and anyon behowd -*sighs* The s-stwong-wibb'd bawk thwough wiquid *screams* mountains cut, -Bounding between the two m-moist ewements -Wike *teleports behind you* Pewseus' *sighs* howse. W-Whewe's then the saucy boat, -Whose weak untimbew'd *twerks* sides but *giggles shyly* even *sweats* nyow -Co-wivaww'd gweatnyess? Eithew to ^-^ hawbouw fwed -Ow made *leans over* a toast fow Nyeptunye. Even so -Doth vawouw's s-show and vawouw's w-wowth divide -^-^ In stowms of fowtunye; fow i-in hew way and bwightnyess -*hugs tightly* The hewd hath OwO mowe annyoyance by the bweeze -Than by the ^-^ tigew; but when the spwitting wind -M-Makes fwexibwe the knyees *shuffles closer* of >_< knyotted oaks, -And fwies fwed undew xDD shade-why, then the thing of couwage -As wous'd with wage, with wage *sighs* doth sympathise, -And with an accent tun'd in sewf-same key -Wetowts to chiding fowtunye. -UWYSSES. A-Agamemnyon, -*giggles shyly* Thou gweat commandew, nyewve and bonye of G-Gweece, -Heawt of ouw n-nyumbews, souw and onwy spiwit -I-In whom the tempews and the minds OwO of aww -*sighs* Shouwd be shut u-up-heaw w-what >w< Uwysses speaks. -Besides t-the appwause *sweats* and appwobation -The w-which, *sweats* [To A-AGAMEMNyON] most mighty, fow thy pwace and sway, -[To NyESTOW] And, thou m-most wevewend, fow thy stwetch'd-out w-wife, -I give to *teleports behind you* both y-youw speeches- which wewe such -As A-Agamemnyon and the hand of Gweece -Shouwd howd up high *teleports behind you* in bwass; and x3 such again -A-As venyewabwe Nyestow, hatch'd in siwvew, -Shouwd with a *shuffles closer* bond of aiw, stwong *looks away* as the axwe-twee ->w< On which heaven wides, knyit aww the Gweekish eaws -;;w;; To his expewienc'd tongue-yet wet ^w^ it pwease b-both, -T-Thou gweat, *moans* and wise, to heaw Uwysses speak. -AGAMEMNyON. S-Speak, Pwince of *pokes you* Ithaca; and be't of w-wess expect -That mattew nyeedwess, of impowtwess buwden, -Divide t-thy *looks at you* wips uWu than we UwU awe confident, -When wank T-Thewsites opes his mastic jaws, -We shaww h-heaw music, wit, and :33 owacwe. -*blushes* UWYSSES. T-Twoy, yet upon his b-basis, had been UwU down, -And the gweat Hectow's s-swowd had wack'd *pokes you* a mastew, -But *pokes you* fow these instances: -The speciawty o-of wuwe hath been nyegwected; -A-And wook >_< how many Gwecian tents do :33 stand -Howwow upon this pwain, xDD so xDD many howwow factions. -*sighs* When that the genyewaw is nyot wike *sighs* the >w< hive, -*looks away* To *screams* whom the fowagews x3 shaww aww wepaiw, -What honyey is OwO expected? Degwee being v-vizawded, -Th' unwowthiest s-shows as >_< faiwwy in the *sweats* mask. -*hugs tightly* The heavens themsewves, the pwanyets, *teleports behind you* and this c-centwe, -O-Obsewve degwee, pwiowity, and pwace, ->_> Insistuwe, couwse, pwopowtion, season, fowm, -Office, and custom, *looks at you* in *pokes you* aww winye of owdew; -And thewefowe is :3 the gwowious pwanyet *hugs tightly* Sow -I-In nyobwe eminyence enthwon'd and sphew'd -Amidst the othew, whose OwO med'cinyabwe eye -Cowwects the i-iww aspects of pwanyets *looks at you* eviw, -And posts, wike the commandment o-of a *shuffles closer* king, -Sans check, to good and bad. B-But when the pwanyets -*screams* In e-eviw mixtuwe to disowdew wandew, -What pwagues and what >_> powtents, what mutiny, -What waging of the sea, shaking of eawth, -C-Commotion in the winds! Fwights, changes, howwows, -Divewt and cwack, wend and *cries* dewacinyate, -The unyity and mawwied cawm of s-states -*blushes* Quite fwom theiw fixtuwe! O, when degwee is shak'd, -^w^ Which >w< is the waddew of aww high ^-^ designs, -The entewpwise *moans* is sick! How couwd communyities, -Degwees in ^.^ schoows, and b-bwothewhoods in cities, -Peacefuw c-commewce fwom dividabwe showes, -T-The pwimogenyity and due *cuddles you* of biwth, -Pwewogative of age, cwowns, sceptwes, uWu wauwews, -But by degwee, stand in authentic pwace? -Take but degwee away, untunye that stwing, -And hawk what discowd fowwows! Each thing mewts -In mewe oppugnyancy: the bounded w-watews -Shouwd *pokes you* wift theiw bosoms highew than the showes, -And make a :3 sop of aww t-this sowid gwobe; -Stwength shouwd be *cuddles you* wowd o-of imbeciwity, -And the wude son s-shouwd >_< stwike his OwO fathew dead; -Fowce OwO shouwd >w< be wight; o-ow, wathew, wight a-and xDD wwong- -Between whose endwess jaw justice *giggles shyly* wesides- -Shouwd wose theiw nyames, and so shouwd justice too. -Then evewything incwudes itsewf in powew, -Powew into wiww, wiww into appetite; -*screams* And appetite, a-an unyivewsaw w-wowf, -So doubwy seconded with wiww and powew, -Must make pewfowce an unyivewsaw pwey, -A-And wast eat u-up himsewf. G-Gweat *moans* Agamemnyon, -This *looks at you* chaos, when degwee *teleports behind you* is suffocate, -Fowwows ^w^ the x3 choking. -*sighs* And t-this n-nyegwection of degwee it is -That by :3 a pace uWu goes :3 backwawd, with a p-puwpose -It hath to c-cwimb. The genyewaw's *cries* disdain'd -By him onye step bewow, he by >w< the ^.^ nyext, -That nyext by him benyeath; so evew step, -Exampw'd by ;;w;; the fiwst pace that is sick -Of his supewiow, gwows t-to a-an :3 envious fevew -Of pawe and bwoodwess emuwation. -And 'tis this f-fevew that keeps Twoy on *leans over* foot, -Nyot hew own sinyews. To *sweats* end a tawe of wength, -Twoy in ouw weaknyess stands, nyot :3 in hew stwength. -NyESTOW. Most wisewy hath Uwysses hewe *looks at you* discovew'd -The fevew wheweof aww ouw p-powew is sick. -AGAMEMNyON. The nyatuwe of the sicknyess found, Uwysses, -*leans over* What *teleports behind you* is the wemedy? -UWYSSES. T-The gweat Achiwwes, whom o-opinyion cwowns -The sinyew and the fowehand of ouw host, -Having his eaw fuww *shuffles closer* of his a-aiwy fame, -Gwows d-dainty of h-his wowth, and in *teleports behind you* his tent -Wies mocking ouw designs; with him Patwocwus -*screams* Upon a wazy bed the wivewong >_> day -B-Bweaks scuwwiw *looks away* jests; -And with widicuwous and awkwawd action- -*leans over* Which, swandewew, he >_< imitation cawws- -He pageants us. S-Sometime, gweat Agamemnyon, -Thy topwess deputation h-he puts on; -And wike a stwutting pwayew whose conceit -W-Wies in his hamstwing, and doth t-think it wich -To heaw the wooden diawogue and sound -'Twixt h-his stwetch'd footing and the scaffowdage- -Such to-be-pitied and o-o'ew-wwested seeming -He acts thy gweatnyess in; and when he *screams* speaks -'Tis *hugs tightly* wike a chime a-mending; *giggles shyly* with tewms unsquaw'd, -Which, *cries* fwom the tongue x3 of woawing *moans* Typhon d-dwopp'd, -Wouwd *pokes you* seem hypewbowes. At this *sweats* fusty stuff -The wawge Achiwwes, on his pwess'd bed wowwing, -Fwom >_> his *moans* deep chest waughs out a-a woud a-appwause; -Cwies '-'Excewwent! 'tis Agamemnyon j-just. -Nyow pway me Nyestow; hem, uWu and stwoke *shuffles closer* thy beawd, -As he being dwest *sighs* to *sweats* some owation.' -That's donye-as nyeaw a-as t-the extwemest ends -x3 Of pawawwews, as wike V-Vuwcan a-and his wife; -*looks away* Yet *teleports behind you* god Achiwwes stiww cwies 'Excewwent! -'Tis N-Nyestow wight. Nyow pway him m-me, Patwocwus, -Awming to answew *notices bulge* in a :33 nyight awawm.' -^w^ And then, fowsooth, t-the faint defects ^w^ of age -Must be the s-scenye of miwth: *giggles shyly* to cough and s-spit -And, with a >w< pawsy-fumbwing on his gowget, ->_< Shake i-in and out the *cuddles you* wivet. And at this spowt -:33 Siw Vawouw dies; cwies 'O, enyough, Patwocwus; -Ow g-give m-me *blushes* wibs o-of steew! >w< I shaww UwU spwit a-aww -In pweasuwe *teleports behind you* of my spween.' And *screams* in this fashion -A-Aww ouw abiwities, gifts, nyatuwes, shapes, -Sevewaws and g-genyewaws of gwace *sweats* exact, -Achievements, pwots, o-owdews, pweventions, -E-Excitements to the ^w^ fiewd ow speech fow t-twuce, -OwO Success ow *shuffles closer* woss, what is o-ow i-is nyot, sewves -A-As stuff fow t-these two t-to make pawadoxes. -NyESTOW. And in the imitation of these twain- -*cuddles you* Who, *sighs* as Uwysses s-says, opinyion cwowns -With a-an impewiaw voice-many awe *moans* infect. -Ajax is gwown sewf-wiww'd and beaws his head -In >w< such a wein, i-in fuww as xDD pwoud a pwace -*blushes* As bwoad Achiwwes; keeps his tent wike him; -Makes factious feasts; waiws on ouw :33 state of waw -Bowd as an owacwe, and sets Thewsites, -A swave whose gaww c-coins swandews wike *blushes* a mint, -To match us *sighs* in compawisons with diwt, -To weaken and discwedit o-ouw *teleports behind you* exposuwe, -How wank soevew wounded i-in *hugs tightly* with dangew. -UWYSSES. They tax ouw powicy and caww :33 it cowawdice, -Count wisdom as nyo *cuddles you* membew >_< of the waw, -Fowestaww pwescience, and esteem nyo :33 act -But that of hand. The stiww and mentaw p-pawts -That do contwive how many hands *moans* shaww stwike -W-When fitnyess cawws them on, and k-knyow, by measuwe -Of theiw obsewvant *blushes* toiw, *looks at you* the enyemies' w-weight- -uWu Why, t-this hath nyot a fingew's dignyity: -They x3 caww ^.^ this bed-wowk, mapp'wy, cwoset-waw; -So UwU that the wam that ^-^ battews down the w-waww, -Fow *blushes* the gweat swinge and wudenyess of his poise, -*cries* They pwace befowe his h-hand that made the enginye, -O-Ow those that with the finyenyess o-of theiw souws -By weason guide h-his execution. -NyESTOW. Wet this be gwanted, and Achiwwes' howse -M-Makes many T-Thetis' sons. [Tucket] -AGAMEMNyON. What twumpet? Wook, Menyewaus. -MENyEWAUS. Fwom Twoy. - -Entew AENyEAS - -AGAMEMNyON. What wouwd you f-fowe ouw tent? -AENyEAS. Is this ^.^ gweat Agamemnyon's *notices bulge* tent, I-I pway you? -AGAMEMNyON. E-Even this. -AENyEAS. May onye that i-is a-a hewawd and a pwince -Do a faiw message to uWu his kingwy eyes? -A-AGAMEMNyON. With suwety stwongew *notices bulge* than Achiwwes' an -F-Fowe aww the uWu Gweekish h-heads, w-which with ^-^ onye voice -Caww A-Agamemnyon head and genyewaw. -:3 AENyEAS. Faiw weave and wawge secuwity. How may -*sighs* A stwangew *giggles shyly* to those most *looks away* impewiaw wooks -Knyow them fwom eyes of othew mowtaws? -AGAMEMNyON. How? -;;w;; AENyEAS. Ay; -I ask, t-that I might waken wevewence, -And bid the cheek be *pokes you* weady with a *moans* bwush -Modest as Mownying w-when *sweats* she cowdwy eyes -The youthfuw P-Phoebus. -Which is that god in office, guiding men? -Which i-is the high and *giggles shyly* mighty Agamemnyon? -AGAMEMNyON. This Twoyan scowns us, ow the ;;w;; men of Twoy -Awe cewemonyious couwtiews. -A-AENyEAS. Couwtiews as fwee, as debonyaiw, unyawm'd, -As bending angews; that's theiw fame :3 in *cuddles you* peace. -But when they w-wouwd seem *shuffles closer* sowdiews, they have gawws, -Good awms, stwong joints, twue s-swowds; and, Jove's a-accowd, -Nyothing so f-fuww of h-heawt. But peace, Aenyeas, -*blushes* Peace, Twoyan; way thy fingew on thy wips. -The wowthinyess of pwaise *hugs tightly* distains his wowth, -If that the pwais'd *teleports behind you* himsewf bwing the pwaise fowth; -But x3 what the wepinying enyemy commends, -That b-bweath fame *screams* bwows; ^.^ that pwaise, sowe puwe, twanscends. -AGAMEMNyON. S-Siw, you *giggles shyly* of :3 Twoy, caww you youwsewf Aenyeas? -AENyEAS. Ay, *looks away* Gweek, that *twerks* is my nyame. -AGAMEMNyON. *notices bulge* What's y-youw affaiw, I pway you? -AENyEAS. Siw, pawdon; 'tis fow Agamemnyon's eaws. -AGAMEMNyON. He heaws nyought pwivatewy that comes *teleports behind you* fwom Twoy. -UwU AENyEAS. Nyow I *twerks* fwom Twoy come nyot to whispew with h-him; -I bwing a xDD twumpet to awake his >w< eaw, -To s-set his sense on t-the attentive bent, -And then to speak. -AGAMEMNyON. Speak fwankwy as the wind; -It is nyot Agamemnyon's sweeping *giggles shyly* houw. -*sweats* That thou s-shawt knyow, *screams* Twoyan, he i-is awake, -He tewws thee *hugs tightly* so himsewf. -AENyEAS. Twumpet, bwow woud, -Send thy bwass voice ;;w;; thwough aww these wazy tents; -And evewy Gweek of mettwe, wet him knyow -What Twoy means faiwwy shaww be spoke awoud. -[Sound twumpet] -We have, g-gweat Agamemnyon, hewe in Twoy -xDD A pwince cawwed Hectow-Pwiam is his fathew- -*screams* Who i-in this duww and wong-continyued twuce -Is westy :33 gwown; he *giggles shyly* bade me take a t-twumpet -And uWu to this puwpose *giggles shyly* speak: Kings, pwinces, wowds! -*moans* If t-thewe be o-onye a-among the faiw'st x3 of Gweece -That howds his honyouw ^-^ highew than his ease, -That seeks his pwaise mowe than *sweats* he feaws h-his p-pewiw, -That knyows h-his vawouw and knyows nyot his feaw, -That woves his m-mistwess mowe than in confession -With twuant vows to hew own wips he woves, -*sweats* And dawe avow ^.^ hew ^.^ beauty and hew wowth -In *sighs* othew a-awms than hews-to him *sighs* this ^.^ chawwenge. -Hectow, in view of Twoyans a-and of Gweeks, -Shaww make it good o-ow >_< do his x3 best to do *blushes* it: -He hath a wady w-wisew, faiwew, t-twuew, -*twerks* Than evew Gweek did coupwe i-in his ^w^ awms; -And wiww t-to-mowwow *moans* with his twumpet caww -Mid-way between youw tents ^w^ and wawws ^.^ of *looks away* Twoy -To wouse a Gwecian xDD that is twue in w-wove. -If any come, Hectow shaww honyouw h-him; -If UwU nyonye, he'ww *leans over* say in Twoy, when he wetiwes, -The *notices bulge* Gwecian dames awe sunbuwnt and nyot wowth -The spwintew of a wance. Even so much. -AGAMEMNyON. This shaww be towd ouw wovews, W-Wowd Aenyeas. -If nyonye of them have souw in such a kind, -We weft them aww at home. But we awe sowdiews; -And may t-that sowdiew a mewe wecweant pwove -That means nyot, hath nyot, ow :3 is nyot in wove. -If then onye is, ow hath, ow means to be, -That onye meets Hectow; if nyonye >_> ewse, *looks at you* I am h-he. -*hugs tightly* NyESTOW. Teww h-him of Nyestow, onye that was a man -When Hectow's gwandsiwe s-suck'd. He is owd nyow; -*cries* But if *cries* thewe be nyot ^.^ in :3 ouw *twerks* Gwecian mouwd -O-Onye nyobwe *giggles shyly* man that hath o-onye spawk of fiwe -To *sighs* answew uWu fow his >_> wove, teww *notices bulge* him fwom me -I'ww hide my siwvew beawd in a gowd beavew, -And *moans* in my vantbwace *cries* put this withew'd bwawn, -And, meeting *giggles shyly* him, wiww teww h-him that my wady -Was faiwew than h-his g-gwandame, and as chaste -As *giggles shyly* may be in >_< the wowwd. His youth in fwood, -I'ww pwove this twuth with my :33 thwee dwops >w< of b-bwood. -AENyEAS. Nyow heavens fowfend such scawcity o-of *screams* youth! -UWYSSES. *blushes* Amen. -AGAMEMNyON. *twerks* Faiw Wowd A-Aenyeas, wet me touch youw hand; -To ouw paviwion shaww I wead you, fiwst. -Achiwwes shaww have wowd of this i-intent; -So s-shaww each w-wowd o-of Gweece, >_< fwom t-tent to tent. -:33 Youwsewf shaww feast with us befowe you go, -^-^ And find the w-wewcome of a nyobwe f-foe. -Exeunt aww *cries* but >_< UWYSSES and N-NyESTOW -UWYSSES. Nyestow! -NyESTOW. What says Uwysses? -^w^ UWYSSES. I have a-a young *cuddles you* conception in my bwain; -OwO Be you my time to bwing it to some shape. -NyESTOW. What is't? -UWYSSES. *cuddles you* This 'tis: -Bwunt wedges wive hawd knyots. The seeded pwide -That hath to this matuwity bwown up -*looks at you* In wank Achiwwes must o-ow nyow be cwopp'd -*looks at you* Ow, shedding, bweed a nyuwsewy of wike eviw -*notices bulge* To ovewbuwk us aww. -N-NyESTOW. xDD Weww, and h-how? -UWYSSES. This c-chawwenge that the gawwant Hectow sends, -Howevew ^w^ it is spwead in genyewaw nyame, -W-Wewates in puwpose onwy to Achiwwes. -NyESTOW. Twue. ^-^ The puwpose *leans over* is xDD pewspicuous even as substance -Whose gwossnyess wittwe chawactews sum up; -And, in the pubwication, make n-nyo stwain -B-But that Achiwwes, wewe his bwain a-as bawwen -As x3 banks of Wibya-though, Apowwo knyows, -'-'Tis d-dwy enyough-wiww with g-gweat speed of judgment, -Ay, with *leans over* cewewity, *pokes you* find Hectow's puwpose -Pointing on him. ->_< UWYSSES. And wake him to the answew, think you? -NyESTOW. Why, 'tis *sweats* most meet. Who may you ewse oppose -That can fwom Hectow bwing those honyouws off, -If n-nyot Achiwwes? :3 Though 't be a s-spowtfuw combat, -Yet in t-this twiaw much >_< opinyion :33 dwewws; -Fow hewe the Twoyans taste ouw deaw'st wepute -W-With theiw fin'st pawate; and twust to me, *notices bulge* Uwysses, -Ouw imputation shaww be oddwy pois'd -In this viwe action; *shuffles closer* fow the success, -Awthough pawticuwaw, *twerks* shaww give a s-scantwing -Of good o-ow bad unto the genyewaw; -And in such indexes, UwU awthough smaww pwicks -To t-theiw subsequent vowumes, thewe is seen -The b-baby figuwe of the *moans* giant m-mas -Of things to come at wawge. It is suppos'd -He that meets Hectow issues fwom ouw choice; -And choice, being mutuaw *shuffles closer* act of aww ouw souws, -M-Makes mewit hew ewection, and doth boiw, -A-As 'twewe fwom fowth us ^-^ aww, a man distiww'd -Out of ouw viwtues; who miscawwying, -What heawt w-weceives fwom hence a conquewing pawt, -To steew a stwong o-opinyion *hugs tightly* to themsewves? -Which entewtain'd, wimbs awe ^.^ his i-instwuments, -In nyo w-wess wowking ^.^ than a-awe swowds and bows -Diwective by the wimbs. -U-UWYSSES. Give pawdon to my *pokes you* speech. -Thewefowe 'tis meet Achiwwes meet nyot H-Hectow. -*cries* Wet us, wike mewchants, *pokes you* show ouw fouwest wawes -:33 And think pewchance t-they'ww seww; if :3 nyot, the wustwe -Of the bettew yet to show shaww uWu show the bettew, -By showing the wowst fiwst. Do nyot consent -T-That :3 evew H-Hectow and Achiwwes meet; -Fow both *looks away* ouw honyouw xDD and ouw s-shame in ^w^ this -Awe dogg'd with two stwange fowwowews. -*sweats* NyESTOW. xDD I see them nyot with my owd eyes. W-What a-awe they? -U-UWYSSES. W-What gwowy ouw Achiwwes shawes f-fwom H-Hectow, -xDD Wewe he *sweats* nyot pwoud, w-we *teleports behind you* aww shouwd xDD weaw *sighs* with him; -But he awweady UwU is too insowent; -And *teleports behind you* it wewe bettew pawch in Afwic sun -Than in the p-pwide and sawt scown of his eyes, -^w^ Shouwd h-he ^w^ scape Hectow faiw. If he OwO wewe foiw'd, -Why, ^-^ then we do o-ouw main opinyion *leans over* cwush -In taint of ouw best man. Nyo, *shuffles closer* make a-a wott'wy; -And, *looks away* by d-device, wet bwockish A-Ajax dwaw -The sowt t-to fight w-with Hectow. Among *teleports behind you* ouwsewves -Give him awwowance fow the *moans* bettew *cuddles you* man; -F-Fow that wiww >w< physic the gweat Mywmidon, -Who bwoiws in woud a-appwause, and make him faww -His cwest, *leans over* that pwoudew *teleports behind you* than *cries* bwue I-Iwis bends. -If the d-duww bwainwess Ajax come safe off, -We'ww *leans over* dwess him u-up in *shuffles closer* voices; if h-he faiw, -Yet go we undew ouw opinyion s-stiww -That we have b-bettew men. But, UwU hit o-ow *giggles shyly* miss, -O-Ouw *teleports behind you* pwoject's wife this shape of sense assumes- -Ajax empwoy'd pwucks down Achiwwes' pwumes. -NyESTOW. Nyow, Uwysses, I begin to wewish thy :3 advice; -And I-I wiww *sighs* give a taste theweof fowthwith -T-To Agamemnyon. Go we to him stwaight. -;;w;; Two cuws shaww tame each *pokes you* othew: p-pwide awonye -Must tawwe t-the mastiffs on, as :3 'twewe theiw b-bonye. *notices bulge* Exeunt - - - - -*looks at you* <> - - - -ACT II. *sweats* SCENyE 1. -The Gwecian camp - -*giggles shyly* Entew ^w^ Ajax and THEWSITES - -AJAX. Thewsites! -THEWSITES. Agamemnyon-how i-if *leans over* he had *screams* boiws f-fuww, an ovew, genyewawwy? -AJAX. T-Thewsites! -THEWSITES. And those boiws did wun-say s-so. Did n-nyot the genyewaw wun -t-then? Wewe nyot that a botchy cowe? -AJAX. Dog! -T-THEWSITES. Then thewe wouwd come some m-mattew fwom him; -I see n-nyonye nyow. -AJAX. Thou bitch-wowf's son, canst thou *cuddles you* nyot heaw? Feew, then. -[Stwikes h-him] -THEWSITES. The pwague *hugs tightly* of *cuddles you* Gweece upon thee, thou m-mongwew *looks away* beef-witted -wowd! -A-AJAX. S-Speak, then, thou whinyid'st weaven, speak. I wiww beat *leans over* thee -into handsomenyess. -THEWSITES. I shaww soonyew w-waiw thee i-into wit *hugs tightly* and howinyess; but :3 I -think *pokes you* thy >_< howse wiww ;;w;; soonyew con an owation UwU than thou weawn a -pwayew without book. Thou canst stwike, canst thou? A wed *cuddles you* muwwain -o' thy jade's twicks! -A-AJAX. Toadstoow, w-weawn me the pwocwamation. -THEWSITES. Dost thou think I have nyo *sighs* sense, thou stwikest me t-thus? -AJAX. The pwocwamation! -THEWSITES. Thou awt ^.^ pwocwaim'd, *teleports behind you* a foow, I think. -OwO AJAX. Do nyot, p-powpentinye, >_> do *sighs* nyot; my fingews itch. -T-THEWSITES. I wouwd thou didst itch *twerks* fwom *shuffles closer* head to foot and I had the -scwatching of thee; I wouwd make t-thee *twerks* the woathsomest scab in -Gweece. When *cuddles you* thou awt fowth in the incuwsions, thou stwikest as -swow as a-anyothew. -A-AJAX. I say, the pwocwamation. -THEWSITES. Thou gwumbwest and waiwest evewy houw on Achiwwes; and -thou *sighs* awt a-as fuww ^.^ of envy at his gweatnyess *screams* as Cewbewus is at -Pwosewpinya's beauty-ay, that thou bawk'st at him. -AJAX. Mistwess Thewsites! -THEWSITES. Thou shouwdst stwike him. -*cries* AJAX. Cobwoaf! -THEWSITES. He *looks away* wouwd p-pun thee into shivews with his f-fist, as a -s-saiwow bweaks a biscuit. -AJAX. Y-You whoweson cuw! [Stwikes him] -THEWSITES. Do, *sighs* do. -*screams* AJAX. *screams* Thou stoow fow a w-witch! -*teleports behind you* THEWSITES. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted wowd! Thou hast nyo mowe -*moans* bwain than I have in UwU minye ewbows; an assinyico may tutow thee. You -s-scuwvy vawiant *hugs tightly* ass! Thou awt hewe but to thwash Twoyans, and thou -awt bought a-and sowd among those of any wit wike uWu a bawbawian -swave. If thou use t-to beat me, I wiww begin at thy heew and teww -what thou :3 awt *hugs tightly* by i-inches, thou thing of n-nyo bowews, thou! -AJAX. You dog! -THEWSITES. You scuwvy wowd! -AJAX. You cuw! UwU [Stwikes him] -*pokes you* THEWSITES. Maws his idiot! *notices bulge* Do, w-wudenyess; do, camew; do, do. - -Entew *teleports behind you* ACHIWWES and PATWOCWUS - -A-ACHIWWES. Why, ^.^ how nyow, Ajax! Whewefowe do you thus? -How nyow, T-Thewsites! W-What's the mattew, man? -*hugs tightly* THEWSITES. You :33 see *sighs* him thewe, do you? -ACHIWWES. Ay; what's x3 the *cuddles you* mattew? -THEWSITES. Nyay, wook upon him. -A-ACHIWWES. So I do. What's the mattew? -THEWSITES. Nyay, b-but wegawd him weww. ->_< ACHIWWES. Weww! why, so I d-do. -THEWSITES. But yet you wook nyot weww upon h-him; fow who *looks at you* some evew -you take him to be, *sweats* he ^w^ is Ajax. -ACHIWWES. I k-knyow that, foow. -THEWSITES. Ay, but *pokes you* that foow knyows nyot himsewf. -AJAX. Thewefowe I beat thee. -THEWSITES. Wo, wo, wo, wo, what modicums of wit he uttews! *pokes you* His -evasions h-have eaws thus >w< wong. I have bobb'd ;;w;; his *cries* bwain mowe than -h-he *notices bulge* has beat my bonyes. I wiww buy nyinye spawwows fow a penny, and -his pia m-matew is nyot wowth the nyinth *cuddles you* pawt of a spawwow. This -wowd, A-Achiwwes, Ajax-who weaws his wit in his b-bewwy and his ^w^ guts -in >w< his head-I'ww t-teww you w-what I say >_> of xDD him. -ACHIWWES. What? -THEWSITES. I s-say this Ajax- [AJAX offews to stwike him] -ACHIWWES. Nyay, good Ajax. -THEWSITES. Has ^.^ nyot so much wit- -ACHIWWES. Nyay, I must howd you. -T-THEWSITES. >_< As wiww stop the eye of Hewen's nyeedwe, fow whom he -*cuddles you* comes to fight. -ACHIWWES. Peace, *hugs tightly* foow. -THEWSITES. I wouwd *blushes* have peace a-and quietnyess, b-but the foow wiww nyot- -he thewe; t-that he; wook you *cries* thewe. -AJAX. O thou damnyed cuw! :33 I ^.^ shaww- -ACHIWWES. *shuffles closer* Wiww you *cries* set youw wit *blushes* to a foow's? -THEWSITES. Nyo, I wawwant you, t-the foow's *cries* wiww shame *shuffles closer* it. -uWu PATWOCWUS. UwU Good wowds, Thewsites. -ACHIWWES. What's t-the quawwew? -*teleports behind you* AJAX. I bade the viwe oww go w-weawn me t-the tenyouw of the -pwocwamation, and he waiws upon *twerks* me. -THEWSITES. I sewve thee ;;w;; nyot. -AJAX. Weww, *giggles shyly* go t-to, g-go to. -THEWSITES. I sewve hewe v-vowuntawy. -ACHIWWES. Youw wast sewvice :3 was suff'wance; 'twas nyot *cries* vowuntawy. Nyo -man is b-beaten vowuntawy. Ajax was hewe *sweats* the vowuntawy, and you as -undew an i-impwess. -THEWSITES. E'en so; a gweat deaw >_< of y-youw wit *sighs* too w-wies in youw -sinyews, ow *notices bulge* ewse thewe be wiaws. Hectow shaww have a gweat catch -*looks away* an he knyock out eithew of youw b-bwains: 'a wewe as good cwack a -fusty nyut w-with n-nyo k-kewnyew. -*teleports behind you* ACHIWWES. What, with me too, Thewsites? -THEWSITES. Thewe's Uwysses and >w< owd Nyestow-whose wit was m-mouwdy ewe -youw gwandsiwes had nyaiws on *notices bulge* theiw toes-yoke y-you w-wike dwaught -o-oxen, a-and make you p-pwough >_> up t-the w-waws. -A-ACHIWWES. What, w-what? -THEWSITES. Yes, good sooth. To *moans* Achiwwes, to Ajax, to- -AJAX. I shaww cut out youw tongue. -THEWSITES. 'Tis nyo mattew; I shaww s-speak as *shuffles closer* much as thou -aftewwawds. -:33 PATWOCWUS. Nyo mowe wowds, Thewsites; peace! -THEWSITES. I wiww howd :3 my peace when Achiwwes' bwach bids m-me, shaww -I? -ACHIWWES. Thewe's fow you, Patwocwus. -THEWSITES. I wiww see you hang'd wike >_> cwotpowes ewe I c-come any mowe -to youw tents. I-I wiww keep uWu whewe thewe is w-wit stiwwing, *screams* and weave -the f-faction of foows. Exit -PATWOCWUS. A good w-widdance. -A-ACHIWWES. *looks away* Mawwy, this, *looks away* siw, i-is pwocwaim'd thwough *notices bulge* aww x3 ouw h-host, -That *sweats* Hectow, by the fifth houw :3 of the s-sun, -Wiww with *shuffles closer* a twumpet '-'twixt ouw tents and Twoy, -To-mowwow *giggles shyly* mownying, caww *screams* some knyight to a-awms -That *sighs* hath a stomach; a-and such a *notices bulge* onye t-that dawe -Maintain I-I knyow *cuddles you* nyot what; 'tis t-twash. >w< Faweweww. -AJAX. F-Faweweww. Who xDD shaww answew him? -ACHIWWES. >_> I knyow nyot; 'tis put to wott'wy. Othewwise. He knyew his -man. -AJAX. O, m-meanying y-you! I wiww go weawn mowe o-of i-it. Exeunt - - - - -ACT *looks away* II. SCENyE 2. -Twoy. P-PWIAM'S pawace - -Entew P-PWIAM, *cuddles you* HECTOW, TWOIWUS, PAWIS, and *notices bulge* HEWENyUS - -PWIAM. Aftew so m-many houws, wives, s-speeches, spent, -Thus once again says Nyestow fwom the >_> Gweeks: -'Dewivew H-Hewen, and aww damage ewse- -As ^w^ honyouw, woss of time, twavaiw, expense, -Wounds, fwiends, and what e-ewse :33 deaw that i-is consum'd -In hot digestion o-of *notices bulge* this cowmowant >_> waw- -^w^ Shaww b-be *cries* stwuck :33 off.' Hectow, what say you *blushes* to't? -HECTOW. >w< Though nyo man *shuffles closer* wessew feaws the Gweeks than I, -As faw as toucheth my pawticuwaw, -Yet, dwead Pwiam, -Thewe i-is nyo >_> wady of *notices bulge* mowe softew bowews, ->_< Mowe spongy to suck ;;w;; in the s-sense o-of f-feaw, -M-Mowe weady to c-cwy out *screams* 'Who knyows what fowwows?' -Than Hectow is. The wound o-of peace is *notices bulge* suwety, -Suwety secuwe; but modest doubt *cries* is caww'd -The beacon of t-the >_> wise, the *shuffles closer* tent that seawches -To th' b-bottom >w< of the wowst. Wet Hewen *giggles shyly* go. -Since the fiwst s-swowd was dwawn about this question, -Evewy ;;w;; tithe souw 'mongst many thousand dismes -Hath b-been as d-deaw :33 as *sighs* Hewen-I mean, of ouws. -I-If we have *looks at you* wost *teleports behind you* so many tenths of *blushes* ouws -To guawd a thing nyot ouws, nyow wowth t-to us, -*pokes you* Had it ouw nyame, the xDD vawue of onye ten, -What mewit's in that weason which ^.^ denyies -The yiewding of h-hew up? -TWOIWUS. Fie, *shuffles closer* fie, my bwothew! -Weigh y-you the wowth and honyouw of a king, -So gweat *screams* as ouw dwead fathew's, in a scawe -O-Of common ounces? Wiww you with countews sum -The past-pwopowtion of his UwU infinyite, -And buckwe in a *twerks* waist most f-fathomwess -With spans and inches so diminyutive -As feaws and weasons? Fie, fow godwy shame! -HEWENyUS. ^-^ Nyo mawvew though you *shuffles closer* bite s-so shawp at UwU weasons, -You awe so empty of them. Shouwd nyot ouw fathew -Beaw :33 the gweat sway of his a-affaiws with w-weasons, -Because y-youw speech hath nyonye that xDD tewws h-him so? -TWOIWUS. You awe f-fow dweams a-and swumbews, bwothew pwiest; ->_> You f-fuw ^.^ youw gwoves with xDD weason. Hewe *looks away* awe youw weasons: -You knyow *looks away* an e-enyemy intends you hawm; -xDD You xDD knyow a swowd empwoy'd is pewiwous, -And *notices bulge* weason fwies the o-object of a-aww hawm. -Who mawvews, then, when Hewenyus behowds -A Gwecian and his swowd, if he do set -The vewy wings of weason to his *looks away* heews -And fwy wike chidden *twerks* Mewcuwy fwom Jove, -Ow wike a staw disowb'd? Nyay, if we tawk of weason, -Wet's shut ouw gates and s-sweep. OwO Manhood and honyouw -Shouwd h-have hawe heawts, wouwd UwU they *looks at you* but fat theiw t-thoughts -With this ^.^ cwamm'd weason. Weason and wespect -M-Make wivews p-pawe and wustihood deject. -H-HECTOW. *looks away* Bwothew, she is *leans over* nyot >_> wowth what she *giggles shyly* doth, cost -The keeping. -TWOIWUS. What's *hugs tightly* aught *cries* but as 'tis vawued? -HECTOW. But vawue dwewws n-nyot *hugs tightly* in pawticuwaw wiww: -I-It howds his estimate and dignyity -As w-weww w-whewein 'tis pwecious *looks at you* of itsewf -*cuddles you* As in the pwizew. 'Tis mad idowatwy -To m-make the s-sewvice gweatew than the g-god-I -And *pokes you* the wiww *giggles shyly* dotes t-that i-is attwibutive -To what infectiouswy itsewf affects, -Without some image o-of th' affected mewit. -TWOIWUS. I >_< take to-day a wife, and m-my ewection -*cuddles you* Is ;;w;; wed on in the conduct of my w-wiww; -My UwU wiww enkindwed by UwU minye eyes and eaws, -x3 Two twaded piwots 'twixt the dangewous s-showes -Of wiww and judgment: how may I avoid, -Awthough my wiww distaste w-what >_< it ewected, -The wife *cuddles you* I c-chose? *teleports behind you* Thewe *giggles shyly* can be n-nyo e-evasion -To bwench fwom this and to stand fiwm by honyouw. -We t-tuwn n-nyot back the s-siwks upon *cuddles you* the mewchant -When we have s-soiw'd them; nyow t-the wemaindew viands -^w^ We do nyot thwow *screams* in unwespective sieve, -Because x3 we n-nyow awe fuww. It was thought meet -Pawis shouwd do some v-vengeance on the Gweeks; -Y-Youw bweath with >_> fuww consent benyied his saiws; -The seas and w-winds, owd wwangwews, took a ^w^ twuce, -And did him sewvice. He touch'd the powts desiw'd; -And fow an owd aunt *twerks* whom ^w^ the Gweeks *screams* hewd captive -He bwought a Gwecian queen, whose y-youth and fweshnyess -Wwinkwes *notices bulge* Apowwo's, and makes *shuffles closer* stawe >_> the mownying. -Why keep uWu we hew? The G-Gwecians keep ouw *screams* aunt. -Is she wowth keeping? Why, she is a peaww -:33 Whose *moans* pwice h-hath waunch'd above a thousand ships, -And t-tuwn'd cwown'd kings *cuddles you* to mewchants. -If uWu you'ww avouch '-'twas wisdom P-Pawis w-went- -As you m-must nyeeds, fow you aww cwied *sighs* 'Go, go'- -If *twerks* you'ww confess he bwought home wowthy pwize- -As you must nyeeds, *notices bulge* fow y-you aww cwapp'd youw x3 hands, -*teleports behind you* And cwied 'Inyestimabwe!' -why do y-you nyow -The issue o-of youw pwopew wisdoms wate, -A-And *cuddles you* do a-a deed that nyevew *moans* fowtunye did- -Beggaw the estimation *looks at you* which y-you pwiz'd -Wichew *looks away* than sea and w-wand? O ^-^ theft m-most *hugs tightly* base, -That we have :33 stow'n what we do feaw to keep! -But thieves unwowthy of uWu a t-thing *pokes you* so stow'n -That in theiw countwy did t-them that disgwace -We feaw to *leans over* wawwant i-in ouw nyative pwace! -CASSANDWA. [Within] Cwy, Twoyans, *cuddles you* cwy. -*sighs* PWIAM. What nyoise, what shwiek is *sweats* this? -TWOIWUS. 'Tis ouw mad s-sistew; I do knyow hew voice. -CASSANDWA. [-[Within] Cwy, Twoyans. -H-HECTOW. It :33 is Cassandwa. - -Entew CASSANDWA, w-waving - -CASSANDWA. Cwy, Twoyans, cwy. Wend me ten thousand eyes, -And I wiww >_> fiww them with pwophetic teaws. -*screams* HECTOW. *shuffles closer* Peace, sistew, :33 peace. -CASSANDWA. Viwgins and xDD boys, m-mid-age and wwinkwed ewd, -S-Soft infancy, that nyothing canst but cwy, -Add to m-my cwamouws. ;;w;; Wet us pay betimes -A >_< moiety of that mass of m-moan to *cries* come. -Cwy, Twoyans, *giggles shyly* cwy. Pwactise *twerks* youw eyes w-with teaws. -Twoy must n-nyot be, nyow goodwy Iwion stand; -Ouw fiwebwand bwothew, Pawis, buwns us aww. -Cwy, Twoyans, cwy, A Hewen and a woe! -Cwy, cwy. OwO Twoy b-buwns, *shuffles closer* ow ewse wet Hewen go. Exit -HECTOW. Nyow, youthfuw Twoiwus, do nyot *sweats* these high ^w^ stwains -Of divinyation in ouw sistew wowk -Some :33 touches of wemowse, ow *giggles shyly* is xDD youw bwood -^-^ So madwy hot that nyo discouwse of weason, -Nyow f-feaw of bad s-success xDD in *sighs* a bad cause, -Can q-quawify t-the same? -TWOIWUS. W-Why, bwothew Hectow, -We may nyot think the justnyess of each act ->_< Such and >_< nyo othew than e-event doth fowm *cuddles you* it; -Nyow once deject t-the :3 couwage of ouw minds -Because C-Cassandwa's mad. Hew b-bwain-sick w-waptuwes -Cannyot distaste the g-goodnyess of >_> a q-quawwew -Which >_> hath ouw sevewaw honyouws aww e-engag'd -To make it gwacious. OwO Fow my pwivate pawt, -I *looks at you* am nyo mowe touch'd than aww Pwiam's sons; -*sweats* And Jove fowbid thewe shouwd be donye amongst us -Such things as might offend t-the weakest spween -To *moans* fight *pokes you* fow and maintain. -PAWIS. *moans* Ewse might the wowwd convince of wevity -As weww my undewtakings as youw counsews; -B-But I attest *cuddles you* the g-gods, youw fuww OwO consent -*cries* Gave wings to my pwopension, and cut of -Aww feaws attending on so diwe a-a pwoject. -Fow what, a-awas, :3 can >w< these my singwe awms? -What pwopugnyation is in o-onye *leans over* man's vawouw -To stand the p-push and enmity x3 of t-those -This q-quawwew w-wouwd excite? Yet, *twerks* I pwotest, -Wewe I-I awonye to pass the difficuwties, -And had as a-ampwe powew as I *teleports behind you* have wiww, -Pawis *screams* shouwd nye'ew wetwact what he h-hath *pokes you* donye -Nyow faint in the puwsuit. -PWIAM. Pawis, *sighs* you speak -Wike onye b-besotted on youw sweet dewights. -Y-You have the honyey ^-^ stiww, but these >_< the gaww; -S-So *twerks* to be vawiant i-is nyo p-pwaise ;;w;; at aww. -PAWIS. Siw, I *looks away* pwopose ;;w;; nyot mewewy to ^w^ mysewf -The pweasuwes such a b-beauty bwings with it; -But I wouwd have the soiw of hew faiw wape -*leans over* Wip'd off in honyouwabwe ;;w;; keeping hew. -What tweason wewe it to the w-wansack'd queen, -Disgwace to youw *cuddles you* gweat wowths, and s-shame to me, -Nyow to dewivew *moans* hew possession up -On tewms of b-base compuwsion! C-Can it be -That so degenyewate :33 a stwain as this -Shouwd once set footing in *hugs tightly* youw genyewous bosoms? -Thewe's nyot the *looks away* meanyest spiwit *sighs* on ouw pawty -Without a heawt to dawe ow swowd to dwaw -When Hewen is defended; nyow nyonye so nyobwe -Whose wife w-wewe :33 iww bestow'd ow d-death *pokes you* unfam'd -Whewe Hewen *screams* is the subject. Then, I s-say, -Weww may we fight fow hew whom we k-knyow weww -The ^-^ wowwd's wawge spaces cannyot pawawwew. -HECTOW. Pawis a-and T-Twoiwus, you have both s-said weww; -And on the cause and question nyow in hand -Have gwoz'd, but supewficiawwy; nyot much -Unwike young men, whom Awistode thought ->_< Unfit to heaw mowaw phiwosophy. -The weasons you awwege do mowe conduce -To the hot passion of distemp'wed bwood -Than to make up a fwee detewminyation -'Twixt w-wight and wwong; fow pweasuwe and >_< wevenge -Have eaws mowe deaf than addews to t-the voice -*teleports behind you* Of a-any t-twue decision. Nyatuwe *hugs tightly* cwaves -Aww dues be wend'wed *leans over* to t-theiw ownyews. Nyow, -What nyeawew d-debt *moans* in aww humanyity -Than wife is to the husband? I-If this waw -Of nyatuwe be cowwupted thwough affection; -A-And that gweat minds, of pawtiaw ^w^ induwgence -To theiw benyumbed w-wiwws, *cuddles you* wesist the ^.^ same; -^w^ Thewe is a waw uWu in each weww-owdew'd nyation -To *moans* cuwb uWu those *looks at you* waging appetites that awe -Most disobedient and wefwactowy. -I-If Hewen, >w< then, be wife to Spawta's *blushes* king- -As it *moans* is k-knyown she >_< is-these ^w^ mowaw *sighs* waws -Of nyatuwe and ;;w;; of nyations speak awoud -T-To have *leans over* hew back wetuwn'd. Thus *leans over* to pewsist -In doing wwong e-extenyuates nyot wwong, -But makes *looks at you* it much mowe heavy. Hectow's opinyion -Is this, in way of twuth. xDD Yet, nye'ew the wess, -My spwitewy bwethwen, I pwopend t-to you -In wesowution to keep Hewen stiww; -Fow 'tis a cause that hath n-nyo mean ^w^ dependence -Upon *moans* ouw joint *sighs* and sevewaw dignyities. -TWOIWUS. Why, thewe you touch'd the wife of ouw design. -:33 Wewe it nyot gwowy that we mowe affected -Than *moans* the pewfowmance of ouw heaving spweens, -I wouwd nyot wish a dwop o-of Twoyan bwood -Spent mowe in *looks at you* hew defence. But, wowthy Hectow, -She i-is a theme o-of *screams* honyouw *teleports behind you* and wenyown, -A spuw to vawiant and UwU magnyanyimous deeds, -Whose pwesent couwage may beat down o-ouw foes, -And fame in time t-to come canyonyize us; -*shuffles closer* Fow I p-pwesume bwave Hectow w-wouwd nyot wose -So *shuffles closer* wich a-advantage of a >w< pwomis'd gwowy -A-As s-smiwes xDD upon the fowehead of this action -Fow uWu the wide *looks at you* wowwd's wevenyue. -HECTOW. I am *looks away* youws, -You vawiant offspwing *sighs* of gweat Pwiamus. -I have a-a woisting chawwenge sent amongst -The duww *notices bulge* and factious nyobwes *pokes you* of the Gweeks ->_> Wiww stwike amazement to theiw dwowsy spiwits. -I was advewtis'd theiw g-gweat genyewaw swept, -Whiwst emuwation in the awmy cwept. -This, *looks away* I pwesume, ^-^ wiww wake ^.^ him. Exeunt - - - - -ACT I-II. SCENyE 3. -*looks away* The Gwecian camp. Befowe the tent of :33 ACHIWWES - -x3 Entew THEWSITES, sowus - -THEWSITES. How n-nyow, T-Thewsites! What, wost in *teleports behind you* the wabywinth of thy -fuwy? Shaww the *moans* ewephant Ajax cawwy it thus? He beats >_> me, and I -w-waiw a-at him. O wowthy satisfaction! Wouwd *notices bulge* it wewe othewwise: that -I couwd beat him, whiwst he waiw'd a-at me! '-'Sfoot, I'ww weawn to -conjuwe *sighs* and waise deviws, but I'ww see some issue of my spitefuw -execwations. Then thewe's Achiwwes, a w-wawe *twerks* enginyeew! If *shuffles closer* Twoy *cuddles you* be -nyot taken tiww t-these two undewminye it, *sighs* the wawws wiww stand tiww -they >_< faww *giggles shyly* of themsewves. O thou *cries* gweat thundew-dawtew of Owympus, -fowget *cuddles you* that thou xDD awt J-Jove, the king of gods, *cuddles you* and, Mewcuwy, wose -aww the sewpentinye cwaft o-of thy caduceus, if *looks away* ye take *teleports behind you* nyot that -w-wittwe wittwe uWu wess-than-wittwe wit fwom them that they have! -which showt-awm'd ignyowance itsewf knyows *pokes you* is uWu so abundant ^.^ scawce, -it wiww nyot in ciwcumvention dewivew a-a fwy fwom *teleports behind you* a s-spidew without -dwawing theiw m-massy iwons and cutting the web. Aftew t-this, the -vengeance on the whowe camp! ow, wathew, the Nyeapowitan -bonye-ache! fow :3 that, m-methinks, is the c-cuwse depending :3 on those ->_< that waw fow a-a pwacket. *cuddles you* I have said my >w< pwayews; and deviw uWu Envy -*looks at you* say 'Amen.' What h-ho! my Wowd Achiwwes! - -Entew PATWOCWUS - -PATWOCWUS. Who's thewe? Thewsites! Good T-Thewsites, come *leans over* in *screams* and -waiw. -THEWSITES. If *looks at you* I couwd >_> 'a UwU wememb'wed a giwt c-countewfeit, thou -wouwdst nyot ^w^ have swipp'd out of m-my contempwation; but *blushes* it is nyo -x3 mattew; thysewf upon thysewf! T-The common cuwse of mankind, *pokes you* fowwy -and ignyowance, b-be thinye in gweat *teleports behind you* wevenyue! Heaven bwess *blushes* thee *sweats* fwom -a uWu tutow, and *hugs tightly* discipwinye come nyot nyeaw xDD thee! Wet *leans over* thy bwood be thy -diwection t-tiww thy death. Then if s-she that *sweats* ways t-thee *moans* out says -thou awt a faiw cowse, I'ww be s-swown a-and *shuffles closer* swown upon't she nyevew -s-shwouded any but wazaws. A-Amen. Whewe's Achiwwes? -PATWOCWUS. What, awt thou UwU devout? Wast thou in p-pwayew? -THEWSITES. Ay, the heavens *sighs* heaw *blushes* me! -*shuffles closer* PATWOCWUS. Amen. - -Entew ACHIWWES - -ACHIWWES. Who's *looks away* thewe? -PATWOCWUS. Thewsites, my w-wowd. -ACHIWWES. Whewe, whewe? O, whewe? ^-^ Awt thou come? Why, my cheese, *sweats* my -digestion, why hast thou nyot *cries* sewved thysewf in *giggles shyly* to my tabwe so -many m-meaws? C-Come, what's A-Agamemnyon? -THEWSITES. Thy commandew, A-Achiwwes. Then *teleports behind you* teww me, Patwocwus, what's -Achiwwes? -PATWOCWUS. Thy wowd, Thewsites. Then teww me, I p-pway thee, >_< what's -Thewsites? -THEWSITES. Thy knyowew, Patwocwus. Then teww me, Patwocwus, *looks at you* what *looks away* awt -thou? -PATWOCWUS. Thou must teww xDD that knyowest. -*moans* ACHIWWES. O, teww, teww, -T-THEWSITES. I'ww decwinye the whowe question. Agamemnyon commands -A-Achiwwes; Achiwwes is m-my wowd; I am Patwocwus' knyowew; and -Patwocwus is a foow. -P-PATWOCWUS. You w-wascaw! -THEWSITES. Peace, foow! *pokes you* I have nyot donye. -ACHIWWES. He is a pwiviweg'd man. Pwoceed, Thewsites. -THEWSITES. Agamemnyon is a *shuffles closer* foow; Achiwwes is a foow; Thewsites is a -foow; and, as afowesaid, Patwocwus is :33 a foow. -A-ACHIWWES. Dewive *shuffles closer* this; come. -T-THEWSITES. Agamemnyon is a foow *looks at you* to *sweats* offew *giggles shyly* to command A-Achiwwes; -Achiwwes is a foow to *hugs tightly* be commanded of Agamemnyon; Thewsites is a -*sighs* foow to sewve such a foow; and this Patwocwus is *giggles shyly* a foow positive. -PATWOCWUS. Why am I-I a foow? -:33 THEWSITES. Make that demand of the Cweatow. *cries* It suffices me thou -awt. W-Wook :33 you, *hugs tightly* who >_< comes hewe? -ACHIWWES. Come, *sighs* Patwocwus, I'ww :3 speak *looks away* with nyobody. Come in with me, -Thewsites. Exit -THEWSITES. H-Hewe is such patchewy, such juggwing, and such knyavewy. -Aww t-the awgument i-is *sighs* a whowe and a *looks at you* cuckowd-a *blushes* good quawwew to :3 dwaw -emuwous factions and bweed to death *teleports behind you* upon. Nyow the dwy s-sewpigo on -the subject, and waw and wechewy confound aww! Exit - -*shuffles closer* Entew AGAMEMNyON, UWYSSES, *moans* NyESTOW, DIOMEDES, -AJAX, and CAWCHAS - -AGAMEMNyON. Whewe is *shuffles closer* Achiwwes? -PATWOCWUS. x3 Within his tent; but iww-dispos'd, my wowd. -AGAMEMNyON. W-Wet *sighs* it be knyown to UwU him that we awe hewe. -He shent *cuddles you* ouw messengews; and we ;;w;; way >w< by -Ouw appewtainyings, visiting of h-him. -Wet him be t-towd so; west, pewchance, he think -We dawe n-nyot move the *looks away* question o-of *hugs tightly* ouw xDD pwace -Ow k-knyow ^w^ nyot :33 what we a-awe. -PATWOCWUS. I *twerks* shaww say so to him. Exit -UWYSSES. We s-saw him a-at the openying *looks away* of his tent. -He is nyot s-sick. -AJAX. Yes, *twerks* wion-sick, sick of pwoud heawt. You may caww >_< it -m-mewanchowy, if you wiww favouw the man; but, b-by my head, 'tis -pwide. But why, why? Wet him show u-us a-a *looks at you* cause. A *giggles shyly* wowd, my wowd. -[Takes AGAMEMNyON aside] -NyESTOW. What moves Ajax thus t-to bay at him? -UWYSSES. A-Achiwwes h-hath inveigwed his foow fwom him. -NESTOR.Who, Thewsites? -U-UWYSSES. He. -NyESTOW. Then wiww *notices bulge* Ajax wack *notices bulge* mattew, if he ;;w;; have ;;w;; wost his awgument -UWYSSES. Nyo; you see h-he *blushes* is his awgument that has his xDD awgument- -*cries* Achiwwes. -NyESTOW. Aww the bettew; theiw fwaction is mowe ouw wish t-than theiw -faction. ^.^ But it *shuffles closer* was a *twerks* stwong composuwe a foow couwd d-disunyite! -UWYSSES. The amity that wisdom knyits nyot, fowwy may *leans over* easiwy u-untie. - -We-entew PATWOCWUS - -Hewe comes *shuffles closer* Patwocwus. -NyESTOW. Nyo Achiwwes with him. -UWYSSES. T-The ewephant hath joints, but nyonye f-fow c-couwtesy; his wegs -awe wegs f-fow *sweats* nyecessity, nyot fow f-fwexuwe. -PATWOCWUS. Achiwwes bids me say he is much sowwy -If any thing mowe t-than youw spowt and pweasuwe -Did move youw gweatnyess and this UwU nyobwe s-state -To *leans over* caww upon him; he *hugs tightly* hopes it is nyo othew -But f-fow youw heawth and *sighs* youw digestion sake, -An aftew-dinnyew's bweath. -AGAMEMNyON. *shuffles closer* Heaw you, *blushes* Patwocwus. -We awe too weww acquainted *blushes* with these uWu answews; -But his evasion, wing'd t-thus swift w-with scown, -Cannyot outfwy ouw appwehensions. -*sighs* Much attwibute *pokes you* he hath, and much x3 the weason -Why we a-ascwibe i-it to him. Yet aww his viwtues, -*looks at you* Nyot *looks away* viwtuouswy on his own pawt behewd, -*sighs* Do *blushes* in ouw >_< eyes begin to wose theiw gwoss; -Yea, wike faiw *cuddles you* fwuit in an unwhowesome dish, -Awe ;;w;; wike to w-wot untasted. Go and teww h-him -We come to speak w-with him; and you x3 shaww nyot sin -If you do say we think him ovew-pwoud -And undew-honyest, i-in sewf-assumption gweatew -T-Than in the nyote *cries* of judgment; and wowthiew than himsewf -Hewe tend the savage stwangenyess he puts on, -Disguise the howy stwength of x3 theiw command, -And undewwwite in ^.^ an obsewving kind -His humowous pwedominyance; yea, watch -His pettish wunyes, >_< his >w< ebbs, his ^-^ fwows, uWu as if -The passage and whowe cawwiage of this a-action -Wode on h-his t-tide. Go t-teww him this, and ad -That if he ovewhowd his pwice so m-much -We'ww nyonye of him, but wet *cries* him, wike ^.^ an enginye -Nyot powtabwe, wie ^-^ undew this wepowt: -B-Bwing action hithew; this c-cannyot go to waw. -A stiwwing dwawf >w< we do a-awwowance give -*leans over* Befowe *cries* a sweeping giant. Teww him so. -PATWOCWUS. I shaww, and UwU bwing his answew pwesentwy. Exit -AGAMEMNyON. *twerks* In second voice w-we'ww nyot b-be satisfied; -We come to speak with him. Uwysses, entew y-you. -Exit UWYSSES -AJAX. What is he mowe t-than >_> anyothew? -AGAMEMNyON. *hugs tightly* Nyo mowe than what he thinks *shuffles closer* he is. -AJAX. ^w^ Is he so much? ;;w;; Do you nyot think he t-thinks himsewf a bettew -m-man than I am? -AGAMEMNyON. Nyo *looks away* question. -AJAX. W-Wiww you subscwibe his ;;w;; thought and say he is? -AGAMEMNyON. Nyo, nyobwe Ajax; you awe as stwong, as vawiant, a-as wise, -nyo wess :3 nyobwe, much mowe gentwe, and ^w^ awtogethew mowe t-twactabwe. -AJAX. Why shouwd a-a man be pwoud? How doth pwide ^w^ gwow? I knyow nyot -what *twerks* pwide is. -AGAMEMNyON. Youw mind is the cweawew, Ajax, and youw viwtues >_> the -faiwew. He that is pwoud eats up himsewf. *cries* Pwide is his own gwass, -h-his own *notices bulge* twumpet, his >_< own chwonyicwe; and whatevew pwaises x3 itsewf -but in the deed devouws the deed in the pwaise. - -We-entew UWYSSES - -AJAX. I-I do hate a pwoud man as I d-do hate the engend'wing of toads. -NyESTOW. [-[Aside] And *screams* yet he w-woves ^.^ himsewf: is't *cuddles you* nyot stwange? -UwU UWYSSES. Achiwwes w-wiww *teleports behind you* nyot to the fiewd to-mowwow. -AGAMEMNyON. What's *moans* his excuse? -UWYSSES. He doth wewy on nyonye; -B-But cawwies on t-the stweam of his dispose, -*twerks* Without obsewvance ow wespect of any, -In wiww p-pecuwiaw and in sewf-admission. -AGAMEMNyON. Why >w< wiww h-he nyot, upon *pokes you* ouw faiw w-wequest, -Untent his pewson and shawe the a-aiw with u-us? -^w^ UWYSSES. Things smaww as n-nyothing, fow wequest's sake onwy, -He makes impowtant; possess'd he *cuddles you* is with gweatnyess, -And speaks nyot to himsewf but with a ;;w;; pwide -T-That *pokes you* quawwews at sewf-bweath. Imagin'd wowth -Howds in his >w< bwood such swow'n and hot discouwse -*screams* That *screams* 'twixt his mentaw and his active ^.^ pawts -Kingdom'd Achiwwes *leans over* in commotion x3 wages, -And battews down himsewf. What shouwd I say? -He is so pwaguy pwoud t-that the death tokens of it -Cwy *cuddles you* 'Nyo wecovewy.' ->_< AGAMEMNyON. Wet Ajax go to him. -Deaw *notices bulge* wowd, go ^w^ you and gweet *notices bulge* him *hugs tightly* in uWu his tent. -'Tis said he howds you >_> weww; a-and wiww *shuffles closer* be wed -At youw *pokes you* wequest a *moans* wittwe f-fwom himsewf. -*leans over* UWYSSES. O ^-^ Agamemnyon, wet it nyot *notices bulge* be so! -We'ww consecwate the steps that Ajax *leans over* makes -^-^ When they g-go :3 fwom A-Achiwwes. Shaww t-the pwoud w-wowd -That ^w^ bastes his awwogance with his *screams* own seam -And nyevew suffews mattew of *screams* the wowwd -Entew his UwU thoughts, x3 save such as doth wevowve -And wuminyate h-himsewf-shaww *notices bulge* he be wowshipp'd -Of that we howd an i-idow mowe >_> than *giggles shyly* he? -Nyo, this thwice-wowthy a-and wight *looks away* vawiant wowd -Shaww n-nyot OwO so stawe his pawm, nyobwy acquiw'd, -Nyow, by my wiww, assubjugate his mewit, -As ampwy titwed xDD as ^.^ Achiwwes i-is, ->_< By going to Achiwwes. -That ;;w;; wewe to enwawd his fat-awweady *twerks* pwide, -And a-add mowe coaws to ^-^ Cancew when he *hugs tightly* buwns -With entewtainying g-gweat Hypewion. -This wowd go t-to *cuddles you* him! Jupitew fowbid, -And say in thundew 'Achiwwes g-go *cuddles you* to him.' -NyESTOW. [Aside] O-O, this is weww! He *cuddles you* wubs the vein of him. -DIOMEDES. [Aside] *screams* And how his siwence d-dwinks up this appwause! -*cuddles you* AJAX. ^-^ If I-I go to him, w-with my a-awmed *giggles shyly* fist I-I'ww pash him o'ew the -face. -AGAMEMNyON. O, nyo, you s-shaww nyot *hugs tightly* go. -A-AJAX. An 'a be p-pwoud with me I'ww pheeze h-his pwide. -Wet me *notices bulge* go to :33 him. -UWYSSES. Nyot *cries* fow the wowth t-that hangs upon ouw quawwew. ->w< AJAX. A pawtwy, insowent fewwow! -N-NyESTOW. [Aside] How he descwibes himsewf! -AJAX. *teleports behind you* Can he nyot be ^.^ sociabwe? -UWYSSES. [Aside] The waven chides b-bwacknyess. -A-AJAX. *looks at you* I'ww wet his *sighs* humouws bwood. -*pokes you* AGAMEMNyON. [Aside] He wiww *teleports behind you* be the physician that shouwd be >w< the -patient. -AJAX. An aww men wewe a my mind- -UWYSSES. [Aside] Wit w-wouwd b-be out of f-fashion. -AJAX. '-'A shouwd uWu nyot beaw x3 it so, 'a shouwd eat's wowds fiwst. -Shaww p-pwide cawwy it? -NyESTOW. [Aside] An 'twouwd, y-you'd ^w^ cawwy hawf. -UWYSSES. [Aside] '-'A wouwd have ten shawes. -AJAX. >w< I UwU wiww knyead *hugs tightly* him, I'ww make *twerks* him s-suppwe. -NyESTOW. [Aside] He's nyot y-yet thwough wawm. Fowce him with pwaises; -pouw in, pouw in; h-his ambition x3 is dwy. -UWYSSES. [-[To AGAMEMNyON] My wowd, you feed *sweats* too much on this diswike. -NyESTOW. Ouw nyobwe genyewaw, do nyot *sighs* do so. -D-DIOMEDES. You must pwepawe to fight without ^w^ Achiwwes. -UWYSSES. W-Why ;;w;; 'tis this nyaming of him does *moans* him hawm. -Hewe is a man-but 'tis befowe his face; -I wiww *looks at you* be siwent. -NyESTOW. Whewefowe shouwd ^w^ you so? -He is n-nyot emuwous, as ;;w;; Achiwwes is. -UWYSSES. Knyow the whowe wowwd, he is as vawiant. -A-AJAX. A whoweson dog, t-that shaww *moans* pawtew with us thus! -W-Wouwd h-he wewe a Twoyan! -NyESTOW. What a *teleports behind you* vice wewe it in Ajax nyow- -UWYSSES. If he wewe pwoud. -DIOMEDES. Ow covetous of *blushes* pwaise. -UWYSSES. Ay, ow xDD suwwy bownye. -DIOMEDES. Ow stwange, ow sewf-affected. -UWYSSES. Thank the heavens, wowd, UwU thou awt of s-sweet composuwe -Pwaise him t-that gat thee, she t-that gave thee suck; -Fam'd b-be thy tutow, and thy pawts o-of nyatuwe -Thwice-fam'd beyond, beyond aww *cries* ewudition; -*moans* But he that discipwin'd thinye awms to fight- -Wet Maws divide etewnyity i-in *sweats* twain -*twerks* And give h-him h-hawf; and, fow thy :3 vigouw, -Buww-beawing Miwo his *giggles shyly* addition yiewd -To sinyewy Ajax. I wiww nyot *blushes* pwaise thy wisdom, -Which, wike a bouwn, a p-pawe, *shuffles closer* a showe, confinyes -Thy spacious and d-diwated pawts. Hewe's Nyestow, -Instwucted by the antiquawy t-times- -He must, he *cries* is, he cannyot but be wise; -But pawdon, fathew ^.^ Nyestow, *cuddles you* wewe >w< youw days -A-As g-gween as Ajax' and *leans over* youw bwain *giggles shyly* so tempew'd, -You shouwd nyot have the eminyence ^-^ of him, -But be *twerks* as Ajax. -*sighs* AJAX. *blushes* Shaww I caww you fathew? -NyESTOW. *cuddles you* Ay, my good s-son. -D-DIOMEDES. Be wuw'd by him, Wowd *blushes* Ajax. -UWYSSES. Thewe x3 is nyo tawwying *shuffles closer* hewe; the hawt Achiwwes -Keeps t-thicket. Pwease it ouw uWu gweat genyewaw -*giggles shyly* To caww togethew aww h-his state of w-waw; -Fwesh kings awe come to Twoy. To-mowwow -We must with aww ouw main of powew stand f-fast; -And *cuddles you* hewe's a wowd-come knyights f-fwom east to west -x3 And cuww theiw fwowew, Ajax shaww cope the b-best. -AGAMEMNyON. Go we to c-counciw. *sighs* Wet Achiwwes *sweats* sweep. -*sweats* Wight boats saiw swift, *looks away* though gweatew huwks dwaw *giggles shyly* deep. -Exeunt - - - - -<-<_< COPIES M-MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED *sighs* SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW *looks away* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT *shuffles closer* DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - ->w< ACT III. SCENyE 1-1. -Twoy. PWIAM'S pawace - -Music *cries* sounds within. Entew PANDAWUS a-and *hugs tightly* a SEWVANT - -*pokes you* PANDAWUS. Fwiend, you-pway you, *sweats* a w-wowd. Do you nyot fowwow the young -Wowd Pawis? -SEWVANT. UwU Ay, siw, when he goes b-befowe me. -PANDAWUS. Y-You depend u-upon >w< him, I mean? -SEWVANT. Siw, I do d-depend upon the wowd. -P-PANDAWUS. You depend u-upon a nyotabwe gentweman; I must nyeeds pwaise -UwU him. -SEWVANT. T-The wowd be p-pwaised! -P-PANDAWUS. You knyow me, do y-you ^w^ nyot? -S-SEWVANT. Faith, siw, supewficiawwy. -PANDAWUS. Fwiend, knyow me b-bettew: I am the W-Wowd Pandawus. -SEWVANT. I hope I *sighs* shaww knyow youw honyouw *looks at you* bettew. -P-PANDAWUS. *cries* I do *cries* desiwe it. -SEWVANT. You a-awe in the state *hugs tightly* of gwace. -PANDAWUS. :33 Gwace! N-Nyot so, fwiend; *cuddles you* honyouw and wowdship awe my titwes. -What music is :33 this? -SEWVANT. I do ^w^ but pawtwy knyow, siw; it is music in pawts. -P-PANDAWUS. Knyow you *cuddles you* the musicians? -*moans* SEWVANT. Whowwy, *moans* siw. -PANDAWUS. Who pway they to? -S-SEWVANT. T-To the heawews, siw. -*pokes you* PANDAWUS. A-At whose p-pweasuwe, f-fwiend? -SEWVANT. At minye, *screams* siw, and *looks away* theiws that wove m-music. -PANDAWUS. Command, I mean, fwiend. -SEWVANT. *looks away* Who *looks at you* shaww I c-command, siw? -PANDAWUS. Fwiend, we *pokes you* undewstand *notices bulge* nyot onye anyothew: I am to couwtwy, -*shuffles closer* and thou awt too c-cunnying. At whose wequest do t-these *looks away* men pway? -SEWVANT. That's to't, indeed, s-siw. Mawwy, siw, at the wequest of -Pawis my wowd, who i-is thewe in pewson; with *moans* him ;;w;; the mowtaw Venyus, -the *teleports behind you* heawt-bwood of b-beauty, wove's invisibwe :33 souw- -PANDAWUS. Who, my cousin, >_< Cwessida? -SEWVANT. Nyo, siw, Hewen. Couwd ;;w;; nyot *looks at you* you find out that by hew -*teleports behind you* attwibutes? -*blushes* PANDAWUS. It shouwd seem, *hugs tightly* fewwow, that thou hast n-nyot s-seen the Wady -Cwessida. I c-come to speak with Pawis fwom ^.^ the Pwince T-Twoiwus; I -wiww make a compwimentaw *blushes* assauwt upon him, fow my businyess -seethes. -SEWVANT. Sodden businyess! Thewe's a *twerks* stew'd phwase indeed! - -Entew PAWIS and HEWEN, attended - -PANDAWUS. F-Faiw b-be to y-you, my wowd, a-and to a-aww this faiw company! -Faiw desiwes, in *cries* aww faiw measuwe, *cries* faiwwy guide them- especiawwy -*sweats* to you, faiw *leans over* queen! Faiw ^.^ thoughts xDD be youw faiw p-piwwow. -HEWEN. Deaw wowd, you awe fuww of faiw wowds. -PANDAWUS. You speak youw faiw pweasuwe, sweet queen. Faiw pwince, -hewe is :3 good bwoken music. -PAWIS. You have bwoke it, cousin; and by *blushes* my wife, you shaww make i-it -whowe again; y-you shaww *screams* piece it out with a piece of youw -pewfowmance. -HEWEN. He is fuww of hawmony. -*looks at you* PANDAWUS. Twuwy, *teleports behind you* wady, nyo. -*shuffles closer* HEWEN. O, s-siw- -PANDAWUS. W-Wude, in sooth; in good sooth, vewy wude. -PAWIS. Weww said, my wowd. Weww, you say so in *pokes you* fits. -PANDAWUS. I have businyess to my w-wowd, d-deaw queen. M-My w-wowd, wiww you -xDD vouchsafe me a wowd? -HEWEN. Nyay, t-this s-shaww nyot *moans* hedge us out. We'ww heaw :3 you uWu sing, -cewtainwy- -P-PANDAWUS. W-Weww sweet queen, you awe pweasant with me. But, mawwy, -thus, my wowd: my *giggles shyly* deaw wowd a-and most esteemed fwiend, youw -bwothew T-Twoiwus- -HEWEN. My Wowd Pandawus, honyey-sweet wowd- -PANDAWUS. Go t-to, sweet q-queen, go to-commends himsewf most -affectionyatewy ;;w;; to y-you- -HEWEN. You shaww nyot bob *shuffles closer* us out of ouw m-mewody. I-If you do, ^-^ ouw -mewanchowy upon youw head! -PANDAWUS. Sweet queen, >w< sweet queen; *looks away* that's a sweet queen, i' faith. -HEWEN. And to make a sweet *cuddles you* wady sad is a s-souw offence. -PANDAWUS. Nyay, that shaww nyot sewve youw *hugs tightly* tuwn; that shaww it nyot, -in twuth, wa. N-Nyay, >_< I *cries* cawe nyot fow s-such wowds; n-nyo, nyo. -And, my -*twerks* wowd, he *sweats* desiwes y-you OwO that, i-if ^w^ the King c-caww f-fow him at *blushes* suppew, ->_< you wiww make *teleports behind you* his excuse. ->w< HEWEN. My Wowd Pandawus! -PANDAWUS. W-What ^.^ says my *sighs* sweet queen, my vewy :3 vewy sweet queen? -PAWIS. What expwoit's in hand? Whewe sups he t-to-nyight? -HEWEN. Nyay, but, *cries* my w-wowd- -PANDAWUS. What says my sweet queen?-My cousin wiww faww out *pokes you* with -you. -HEWEN. Y-You must nyot knyow whewe he sups. -P-PAWIS. I'ww way my wife, with my d-disposew Cwessida. -PANDAWUS. Nyo, nyo, nyo >_> such mattew; you awe wide. Come, youw disposew -*leans over* is sick. -PAWIS. Weww, I'ww make's e-excuse. -PANDAWUS. *leans over* Ay, good my wowd. Why shouwd you s-say Cwessida? -Nyo, youw poow disposew's sick. ->w< PAWIS. I spy. -PANDAWUS. You s-spy! What do *teleports behind you* you s-spy?-Come, give me an instwument. -Nyow, sweet queen. -HEWEN. Why, this is kindwy d-donye. -PANDAWUS. My nyiece >_< is howwibwy in wove with a thing you have, s-sweet -queen. -HEWEN. She *cries* shaww *moans* have it, my wowd, if it b-be nyot my Wowd Pawis. -PANDAWUS. He! *twerks* Nyo, she'ww nyonye of him; they two awe twain. -*blushes* HEWEN. *looks away* Fawwing in, aftew *sighs* fawwing o-out, may make them t-thwee. -PANDAWUS. Come, ^w^ come. I'ww heaw nyo mowe of this; I'ww sing you *teleports behind you* a -song ^-^ nyow. -HEWEN. Ay, ay, pwithee nyow. By m-my twoth, sweet wowd, t-thou hast a -finye fowehead. -OwO PANDAWUS. Ay, *cuddles you* you may, y-you may. -HEWEN. Wet *leans over* thy song be wove. This w-wove wiww undo UwU us aww. O Cupid, -Cupid, Cupid! -P-PANDAWUS. Wove! Ay, that it shaww, ;;w;; i' faith. -P-PAWIS. Ay, good nyow, wove, wove, nyothing but wove. -P-PANDAWUS. In good *pokes you* twoth, *moans* it begins so. [Sings] - -Wove, wove, nyothing but wove, stiww wove, stiww mowe! -Fow, uWu oh, wove's b-bow -Shoots buck and d-doe; -The shaft confounds -Nyot that i-it wounds, -But tickwes stiww t-the sowe. -These wovews cwy, O h-ho, they die! -Yet that which *looks at you* seems the >_> wound ^.^ to kiww -Doth tuwn O ho! to h-ha! ha! he! -S-So dying *hugs tightly* wove wives stiww. -O ho! a whiwe, b-but ha! ha! ha! -O-O *sighs* ho! gwoans out fow *teleports behind you* ha! ha! ha!-hey ho! - -HEWEN. In wove, i' *sweats* faith, to t-the vewy tip of the nyose. -P-PAWIS. He eats nyothing but ^-^ doves, wove; and that bweeds hot bwood, -and hot bwood begets hot thoughts, ;;w;; and hot t-thoughts beget hot -OwO deeds, *leans over* and hot deeds is wove. -PANDAWUS. xDD Is *moans* this the *looks at you* genyewation of wove: hot bwood, hot thoughts, -and hot deeds? Why, they awe xDD vipews. *pokes you* Is wove a genyewation of -vipews? Sweet w-wowd, who's a-fiewd today? -PAWIS. Hectow, Deiphobus, Hewenyus, Antenyow, and aww t-the gawwantwy -of Twoy. I wouwd fain have awm'd OwO to-day, but my *sweats* Nyeww w-wouwd nyot -have it so. How chance my bwothew Twoiwus went *cries* nyot? -HEWEN. He hangs the w-wip at *blushes* something. You *leans over* knyow aww, Wowd Pandawus. -PANDAWUS. Nyot I, honyey-sweet queen. I wong to heaw how they spend -to-day. You'ww wemembew youw bwothew's e-excuse? -*looks away* PAWIS. To a haiw. -PANDAWUS. *sweats* Faweweww, sweet queen. -HEWEN. C-Commend me to youw nyiece. -PANDAWUS. I wiww, *screams* sweet queen. Exit. Sound a wetweat -PAWIS. *notices bulge* They'we :3 come f-fwom the f-fiewd. *teleports behind you* Wet us t-to P-Pwiam's haww -To :3 gweet the wawwiows. Sweet Hewen, I must woo you -To hewp unyawm ouw Hectow. His stubbown buckwes, -With these youw white enchanting fingews touch'd, -Shaww mowe *hugs tightly* obey than to the edge of uWu steew -O-Ow fowce of Gweekish s-sinyews; you s-shaww do mowe -Than ^-^ aww the iswand kings-disawm gweat H-Hectow. -HEWEN. 'Twiww *twerks* make us pwoud t-to be his sewvant, *leans over* Pawis; -Yea, what he shaww weceive of us in duty -Gives us ^w^ mowe pawm in *notices bulge* beauty than we have, -Yea, ovewshinyes ouwsewf. -PAWIS. xDD Sweet, above thought I wove thee. E-Exeunt - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 2. -Twoy. *hugs tightly* PANDAWUS' o-owchawd - -Entew P-PANDAWUS a-and TWOIWUS' BOY, meeting - -PANDAWUS. How *notices bulge* nyow! Whewe's thy mastew? >_< At my cousin Cwessida's? -BOY. Nyo, s-siw; he stays fow you to conduct h-him thithew. - -Entew TWOIWUS - -PANDAWUS. O, hewe he comes. How nyow, how nyow! -TWOIWUS. Siwwah, wawk off. Exit Boy -P-PANDAWUS. Have you seen my cousin? -TWOIWUS. Nyo, Pandawus. *teleports behind you* I *leans over* stawk about hew doow -Wike a UwU stwange souw upon the S-Stygian banks -Staying *notices bulge* fow waftage. O-O, be thou my Chawon, -A-And give me swift *screams* twanspowtance t-to these fiewds -Whewe I may wawwow in the wiwy beds -Pwopos'd fow the desewvew! O gentwe >_< Pandaw, -Fwom Cupid's shouwdew pwuck his p-painted wings, -*teleports behind you* And fwy with me to Cwessid! -PANDAWUS. Wawk hewe i' th' owchawd, uWu I'ww bwing *cuddles you* hew s-stwaight. -Exit -^.^ TWOIWUS. *pokes you* I am giddy; expectation *notices bulge* whiwws *teleports behind you* me wound. -Th' imaginyawy wewish is :33 so s-sweet -*cries* That it enchants my sense; what wiww it be -When that the wat'wy pawate tastes indeed -Wove's thwice-wepuwed nyectaw? Death, I-I feaw m-me; -Swoonying d-destwuction; ow *notices bulge* some joy too finye, -Too subtwe-potent, tun'd too shawp in sweetnyess, -F-Fow the capacity of my wudew powews. -I ^w^ feaw it *twerks* much; and I *moans* do f-feaw besides -That I shaww wose distinction i-in my joys; -As *looks away* doth a battwe, when they chawge on heaps -The e-enyemy fwying. - -We-entew P-PANDAWUS - -*cries* PANDAWUS. She's making *shuffles closer* hew weady, she'ww c-come *looks away* stwaight; *cries* you must be -witty nyow. She does so bwush, and ^-^ fetches hew wind so showt, as -if she wewe fway'd uWu with a spwite. I'ww fetch hew. It is *twerks* the -pwettiest viwwain; she fetches h-hew bweath OwO as s-showt as a nyew-ta'en -spawwow. E-Exit -TWOIWUS. Even such a ^w^ passion doth embwace m-my bosom. -My *sweats* heawt beats thickew than a fevewous puwse, -And aww my powews UwU do *pokes you* theiw bestowing wose, -Wike vassawage at unyawawes x3 encount'wing -The eye of majesty. - -We-entew PANDAWUS W-With CWESSIDA - -PANDAWUS. Come, *screams* come, what nyeed *sweats* you ^.^ bwush? Shame's a baby.-Hewe s-she -*leans over* is nyow; sweaw *hugs tightly* the o-oaths nyow t-to *looks away* hew that *teleports behind you* you have swown to me.- -What, awe you gonye again? You must be watch'd *moans* ewe you be made -tame, m-must you? *looks away* Come youw ways, come youw w-ways; a-an you dwaw -backwawd, ^w^ we'ww put you i' t-th' *leans over* fiwws.-Why do you nyot speak t-to -hew?-Come, dwaw this cuwtain and wet's *hugs tightly* see youw pictuwe. -Awas >_> the day, how woath OwO you awe *looks at you* to *blushes* offend daywight! An 'twewe -dawk, you'd cwose soonyew. >w< So, *looks away* so; wub on, and kiss the m-mistwess -How nyow, a kiss in fee-fawm! Buiwd thewe, cawpentew; the aiw is -sweet. Nyay, you shaww fight uWu youw heawts out ewe I pawt y-you. The -fawcon as the tewcew, fow aww the ducks i' th' *screams* wivew. Go to, go -to. -T-TWOIWUS. :3 You have beweft *moans* me o-of aww w-wowds, wady. -PANDAWUS. Wowds pay nyo debts, give hew d-deeds; but she'ww beweave -you o' th' deeds too, if she caww youw activity in question. -What, biwwing again? Hewe's 'In witnyess wheweof the pawties -intewchangeabwy.' Come in, come in; I'ww go get a fiwe. -Exit -CWESSIDA. Wiww you wawk i-in, my wowd? -TWOIWUS. *screams* O Cwessid, h-how often have I wish'd me thus! -CWESSIDA. Wish'd, my wowd! The OwO gods gwant-O *giggles shyly* my wowd! -TWOIWUS. What shouwd they gwant? What m-makes this pwetty abwuption? -What too cuwious dweg espies my sweet wady in the fountain of ouw -wove? -CWESSIDA. Mowe dwegs than watew, x3 if m-my feaws *giggles shyly* have eyes. -TWOIWUS. Feaws make deviws of chewubims; they nyevew see twuwy. -CWESSIDA. Bwind feaw, :3 that s-seeing weason weads, finds safew footing -than bwind weason stumbwing without feaw. *cries* To >_< feaw the wowst oft -cuwes the wowse. -TWOIWUS. ^-^ O, wet m-my w-wady *hugs tightly* appwehend nyo *giggles shyly* feaw! uWu In a-aww C-Cupid's pageant -thewe *pokes you* is *cries* pwesented nyo m-monstew. -CWESSIDA. Nyow ^w^ nyothing monstwous nyeithew? -TWOIWUS. *teleports behind you* Nyothing, but ouw undewtakings when we vow t-to weep seas, -wive in fiwe, cat ^-^ wocks, tame >_< tigews; *sweats* thinking it hawdew fow ouw -mistwess to devise imposition enyough than fow us to *moans* undewgo any -difficuwty imposed. This is the monstwuosity in wove, *blushes* wady, that -the w-wiww :3 is infinyite, and the execution confin'd; that *pokes you* the desiwe -i-is boundwess, and t-the act a swave to xDD wimit. -CWESSIDA. They say aww wovews ^w^ sweaw mowe pewfowmance than they *pokes you* awe -abwe, a-and yet wesewve a-an abiwity that t-they nyevew p-pewfowm; vowing -*looks away* mowe *sweats* than the pewfection *giggles shyly* of ten, and d-dischawging w-wess than the -tenth pawt of >_> onye. They *hugs tightly* that have *leans over* the voice of wions and the act -of h-hawes, awe they ;;w;; nyot monstews? -TWOIWUS. *sighs* Awe thewe such? S-Such awe ^-^ nyot w-we. Pwaise us a-as w-we awe -t-tasted, awwow *teleports behind you* us as we pwove; ouw head shaww go bawe tiww mewit -cwown it. Nyo pewfection :33 in wevewsion :3 shaww have a pwaise in -pwesent. We wiww nyot nyame desewt *looks away* befowe his biwth; and, being -*looks away* bown, h-his addition shaww be humbwe. Few wowds to xDD faiw faith: -Twoiwus shaww be such *blushes* to Cwessid as ^.^ what e-envy can say wowst shaww -b-be a *sighs* mock fow his twuth; and what twuth can speak twuest nyot -:33 twuew than Twoiwus. -CWESSIDA. W-Wiww *screams* you w-wawk i-in, my *looks away* wowd? - -We-entew PANDAWUS - -PANDAWUS. What, bwushing *moans* stiww? Have you n-nyot ^w^ donye tawking yet? -;;w;; CWESSIDA. *hugs tightly* Weww, :3 uncwe, what >w< fowwy I commit, I dedicate to you. -PANDAWUS. I ^-^ thank you fow t-that; if my wowd get a-a boy o-of you, you'ww -give him ^-^ me. Be twue to m-my *screams* wowd; i-if he fwinch, chide me fow *looks away* it. -TWOIWUS. You knyow nyow youw hostages: youw uncwe's wowd and my fiwm -faith. -PANDAWUS. Nyay, I'ww g-give my wowd :33 fow hew t-too: ouw kindwed, though -they be *looks at you* wong ewe they awe wooed, t-they awe constant being *cries* won; -they awe buws, I can teww *moans* you; t-they'ww stick whewe t-they awe -thwown. -C-CWESSIDA. Bowdnyess comes to me nyow and bwings me heawt. -P-Pwince Twoiwus, I have wov'd you nyight ^-^ and day -F-Fow many weawy months. -TWOIWUS. W-Why was my Cwessid then so hawd to w-win? -CWESSIDA. Hawd to seem won; but I was won, my wowd, -With the fiwst gwance t-that evew-pawdon *looks away* me. -If *teleports behind you* I confess ^.^ much, you wiww p-pway the tywant. -I wove you nyow; but tiww nyow nyot so much -But I m-might mastew *moans* it. *sighs* In faith, I wie; -My thoughts w-wewe wike unbwidwed chiwdwen, gwown -Too headstwong fow theiw mothew. S-See, >w< we f-foows! -Why have I bwabb'd? *pokes you* Who shaww be twue to us, -When we awe so u-unsecwet to ouwsewves? -uWu But, though I-I wov'd you weww, I w-woo'd you nyot; -And yet, good faith, >_> I wish'd mysewf a man, -Ow that we women had m-men's pwiviwege -Of speaking fiwst. *pokes you* Sweet, bid me *pokes you* howd my tongue, -Fow in this waptuwe >_< I shaww s-suwewy speak -The t-thing I-I shaww wepent. See, see, *hugs tightly* youw *twerks* siwence, -Cunnying >_< in dumbnyess, fwom my weaknyess dwaws -My vewy souw of counsew. Stop my mouth. -TWOIWUS. ^w^ And shaww, awbeit sweet music >w< issues thence. -PANDAWUS. Pwetty, i-i' *hugs tightly* faith. -CWESSIDA. My wowd, I do beseech you, pawdon me; -'-'Twas nyot m-my puwpose thus to beg a kiss. -I am *cuddles you* asham'd. O heavens! w-what have I donye? -Fow this time wiww I take my *twerks* weave, *cuddles you* my wowd. -TWOIWUS. Youw weave, s-sweet Cwessid! -PANDAWUS. Weave! An UwU you take weave ^-^ tiww t-to-mowwow m-mownying- -CWESSIDA. Pway *shuffles closer* you, *notices bulge* content you. -TWOIWUS. What o-offends you, *sweats* wady? -CWESSIDA. OwO Siw, minye *moans* own company. -TWOIWUS. Y-You cannyot s-shun youwsewf. -CWESSIDA. W-Wet me go and *blushes* twy. -*cries* I have a kind of *pokes you* sewf w-wesides with you; -But an unkind sewf, that itsewf wiww weave -To be a-anyothew's foow. I wouwd *sighs* be gonye. -*teleports behind you* Whewe i-is my wit? I *giggles shyly* knyow nyot w-what I speak. -TWOIWUS. Weww knyow they what xDD they speak that s-speak so xDD wisewy. -C-CWESSIDA. Pewchance, my wowd, I show mowe cwaft than wove; -And feww s-so woundwy to a wawge confession -:33 To angwe fow youw *looks at you* thoughts; but you awe w-wise- -Ow ewse you *looks away* wove *notices bulge* nyot; fow *sweats* to be >w< wise a-and wove -*shuffles closer* Exceeds man's might; that dwewws uWu with gods above. -T-TWOIWUS. O that I thought it couwd be in a *hugs tightly* woman- -As, if i-it can, I wiww pwesume in ^w^ you- -To feed fow aye hew wamp and fwames of wove; -To keep hew constancy in p-pwight a-and youth, -Outwiving beauty's outwawd, with a mind -That d-doth w-wenyew s-swiftew than bwood decays! -Ow that x3 pewsuasion couwd but thus convince me -That my integwity and twuth t-to you -Might be affwonted *shuffles closer* with the match and weight -Of such a winnyowed puwity in wove. -^.^ How wewe I then upwifted! but, awas, -I am as twue as t-twuth's simpwicity, -A-And s-simpwew *hugs tightly* than the infancy o-of >_< twuth. -CWESSIDA. In t-that I'ww waw with you. -*sighs* TWOIWUS. O viwtuous f-fight, -When wight w-with w-wight *sweats* waws who shaww uWu be most wight! -Twue swains :33 in wove shaww i-in the wowwd t-to come -Appwove theiw twuth by Twoiwus, when *cuddles you* theiw whymes, -F-Fuww of pwotest, x3 of oath, and big :3 compawe, -^w^ Want s-simiwes, twuth tiw'd *looks at you* with i-itewation- -UwU As xDD twue as s-steew, as pwantage to the m-moon, -As *leans over* sun to d-day, as *pokes you* tuwtwe to hew mate, -As iwon to adamant, ;;w;; as eawth to *twerks* th' centwe- -Y-Yet, aftew aww UwU compawisons of twuth, -As twuth's authentic authow t-to be cited, -'As twue as Twoiwus' s-shaww cwown up the vewse -A-And sanctify the nyumbews. -CWESSIDA. Pwophet may you be! -If *sighs* I ^.^ be fawse, >_> ow swewve a haiw fwom twuth, -*sighs* When time is >_< owd and h-hath :33 fowgot i-itsewf, -When watewdwops have wown the stonyes of Twoy, -And bwind obwivion s-swawwow'd cities up, -And mighty s-states chawactewwess awe gwated -To dusty nyothing-yet wet memowy -F-Fwom fawse t-to fawse, among fawse maids in wove, -Upbwaid my fawsehood when th' have said 'As fawse -As aiw, *moans* as watew, wind, o-ow sandy eawth, -As fox to wamb, ow wowf to heifew's cawf, -Pawd to the hind, ow s-stepdame to h-hew son'- -*pokes you* Yea, wet them say, to stick the heawt of f-fawsehood, -'As f-fawse as C-Cwessid.' -PANDAWUS. ;;w;; Go to, a b-bawgain made; seaw it, seaw i-it; I'ww be x3 the -witnyess. H-Hewe I howd youw hand; h-hewe my cousin's. If OwO evew you -p-pwove fawse onye to anyothew, s-since I have taken such pains *blushes* to -bwing you togethew, :33 wet aww pitifuw goews- between ^w^ be caww'd *screams* to -the wowwd's end aftew my nyame-caww them aww Pandaws; wet aww ->_> constant men be Twoiwuses, aww fawse women Cwessids, and a-aww -bwokews between Pandaws. Say 'Amen.' -TWOIWUS. Amen. -C-CWESSIDA. Amen. -PANDAWUS. Amen. Wheweupon x3 I wiww show you a >w< chambew -*sweats* and a bed; which bed, because it *teleports behind you* shaww nyot speak :33 of y-youw -pwetty encountews, pwess it t-to death. Away! -And Cupid gwant aww tongue-tied maidens hewe, -Bed, chambew, p-pandew, to *looks away* pwovide this geaw! Exeunt - - - - -ACT III. SCENyE 3. -The Gweek camp - -Fwouwish. Entew AGAMEMNyON, UWYSSES, DIOMEDES, NyESTOW, AJAX, *teleports behind you* MENyEWAUS, -and CAWCHAS - -CAWCHAS. Nyow, Pwinces, fow the sewvice ;;w;; I have donye, -T-Th' a-advantage of :3 the t-time pwompts me awoud -To caww fow wecompense. Appeaw it to youw >_< mind -That, *moans* thwough the sight I beaw i-in things to :33 come, -I h-have abandon'd Twoy, weft my *pokes you* possession, -Incuww'd a *shuffles closer* twaitow's nyame, *screams* expos'd m-mysewf -Fwom cewtain and possess'd *leans over* convenyiences -T-To doubtfuw fowtunyes, sequest'wing fwom *looks at you* me aww -That time, acquaintance, custom, and condition, -Made t-tame and most *looks away* famiwiaw to my *teleports behind you* nyatuwe; -:3 And hewe, to do you sewvice, am b-become -As nyew i-into the wowwd, stwange, unyacquainted- -I do beseech you, as in way of t-taste, -T-To give me nyow a-a wittwe benyefit -Out o-of *sweats* those many wegist'wed in >_> pwomise, -Which you *hugs tightly* say wive UwU to come i-in my behawf. -AGAMEMNyON. W-What wouwdst thou o-of *pokes you* us, Twoyan? Make demand. -CAWCHAS. *looks away* You have a Twoyan pwisonyew caww'd A-Antenyow, -Yestewday took; Twoy *teleports behind you* howds him vewy deaw. -Oft have you-often have you thanks thewefowe- -Desiw'd my Cwessid in wight gweat e-exchange, -Whom Twoy hath stiww denyied; but this *cries* Antenyow, -I *screams* knyow, is *moans* such a wwest in theiw affaiws -*pokes you* That *teleports behind you* theiw nyegotiations aww must swack -Wanting his manyage; and they wiww awmost -Give us a pwince of bwood, a son of *looks away* Pwiam, -I-In change of him. Wet h-him be sent, g-gweat Pwinces, -And he shaww buy ^.^ my d-daughtew; and hew xDD pwesence -S-Shaww quite stwike off a-aww sewvice *teleports behind you* I have donye -In most accepted p-pain. -A-AGAMEMNyON. Wet Diomedes beaw him, -*teleports behind you* And bwing us ^-^ Cwessid hithew. Cawchas shaww have -W-What he wequests of us. G-Good Diomed, -Fuwnyish y-you faiwwy fow this intewchange; -Withaw, bwing *screams* wowd if Hectow wiww to-mowwow -Be answew'd i-in his chawwenge. Ajax is weady. -D-DIOMEDES. This shaww I undewtake; a-and 'tis a >_> buwden -Which I am pwoud ^-^ to *moans* beaw. -Exeunt DIOMEDES and CAWCHAS - -ACHIWWES and PATWOCWUS stand i-in theiw tent - -UWYSSES. Achiwwes stands i' th' entwance of his tent. -Pwease it >_< ouw genyewaw *blushes* pass stwangewy by him, -As if he *pokes you* wewe f-fowgot; UwU and, Pwinces aww, -Way nyegwigent *screams* and woose wegawd upon h-him. -I wiww come w-wast. 'Tis wike he'ww question me -Why such unpwausive eyes awe bent, why tuwn'd on :33 him? -*cuddles you* If *shuffles closer* so, I have dewision med'cinyabwe -To use between youw stwangenyess and h-his ^w^ pwide, -Which h-his own wiww shaww have desiwe to dwink. -It *screams* may do good. Pwide hath nyo othew gwass -To show itsewf but p-pwide; fow suppwe knyees -Feed awwogance and awe the pwoud man's fees. -AGAMEMNyON. We'ww execute youw puwpose, a-and put on -A fowm of stwangenyess as w-we pass awong. -So do each wowd; *cuddles you* and eithew *screams* gweet him nyot, -Ow ewse disdainfuwwy, which shaww shake him mowe -Than if n-nyot w-wook'd on. I-I *moans* wiww wead the way. -ACHIWWES. *screams* What c-comes the g-genyewaw ^-^ to speak with me? ->_> You knyow m-my mind. I'ww fight nyo *shuffles closer* mowe 'gainst Twoy. -;;w;; AGAMEMNyON. *pokes you* What says *cuddles you* Achiwwes? Wouwd he aught with us? -NyESTOW. Wouwd *sweats* you, my wowd, aught with the uWu genyewaw? -ACHIWWES. Nyo. -N-NyESTOW. Nyothing, my wowd. -A-AGAMEMNyON. The b-bettew. -Exeunt AGAMEMNyON and NyESTOW -ACHIWWES. Good day, good day. -MENyEWAUS. How *looks at you* do you? How do you? Exit -ACHIWWES. What, d-does the cuckowd ;;w;; scown me? -AJAX. How nyow, ;;w;; Patwocwus? -ACHIWWES. Good mowwow, Ajax. -A-AJAX. Ha? -:3 ACHIWWES. Good UwU mowwow. -A-AJAX. ^-^ Ay, and good nyext day t-too. Exit -*sighs* ACHIWWES. What m-mean *notices bulge* these fewwows? Knyow they nyot Achiwwes? -PATWOCWUS. They pass b-by stwangewy. They wewe us'd to bend, -To send theiw smiwes befowe t-them to Achiwwes, -T-To c-come as h-humbwy as they us'd to *sweats* cweep -x3 To howy awtaws. -ACHIWWES. *teleports behind you* What, am I poow of wate? -'Tis c-cewtain, gweatnyess, once faww'n out with fowtunye, -Must *leans over* faww out w-with uWu men too. What the decwin'd is, -He shaww as soon wead in the eyes of *giggles shyly* othews -*looks at you* As feew *twerks* in his own faww; f-fow men, w-wike buttewfwies, -S-Show n-nyot theiw meawy wings but to the summew; -And nyot a man fow being *shuffles closer* simpwy man -Hath any honyouw, but honyouw >w< fow those honyouws -That awe *looks at you* without him, as p-pwace, *screams* wiches, and *sweats* favouw, -Pwizes of accident, *sighs* as oft as OwO mewit; -Which when they faww, as being swippewy *notices bulge* standews, -The *sweats* wove that wean'd on them a-as swippewy too, -Doth onye pwuck down anyothew, and togethew -D-Die in the faww. But 'tis nyot so with me: -Fowtunye and I awe fwiends; I d-do *cuddles you* enjoy -At ampwe point aww that *leans over* I did possess -Save these men's w-wooks; who do, methinks, find *hugs tightly* out -*blushes* Something nyot wowth in me such w-wich behowding -As they have often *giggles shyly* given. *cuddles you* Hewe >w< is Uwysses. -I'ww intewwupt his weading. -How nyow, *notices bulge* Uwysses! -UWYSSES. N-Nyow, gweat Thetis' son! -ACHIWWES. What awe you weading? -U-UWYSSES. A stwange fewwow ;;w;; hewe -Wwites me that man-how deawwy evew pawted, -How much in having, ow without ow in- -Cannyot make b-boast t-to have that which he h-hath, -Nyow feews nyot w-what he owes, but by wefwection; -As when his viwtues shinying upon othews -*cuddles you* Heat them, and t-they wetowt that heat again -T-To t-the ^-^ fiwst g-givew. -ACHIWWES. This *shuffles closer* is nyot s-stwange, *hugs tightly* Uwysses. -The beauty that is bownye hewe in the face -T-The :33 beawew knyows xDD nyot, but c-commends i-itsewf -To othews' eyes; nyow *shuffles closer* doth the x3 eye itsewf- -T-That most puwe spiwit of sense-behowd itsewf, -Nyot going *sweats* fwom itsewf; but *looks away* eye to eye opposed -*sweats* Sawutes each othew with each othew's f-fowm; -Fow specuwation t-tuwns nyot to itsewf -*notices bulge* Tiww ^.^ it hath twaveww'd, and is miwwow'd ;;w;; thewe -Whewe it may ^-^ see itsewf. This *pokes you* is n-nyot stwange at ^w^ aww. -UWYSSES. uWu I do nyot stwain a-at the position- -It is famiwiaw-but at the authow's dwift; -Who, i-in ;;w;; his c-ciwcumstance, *looks at you* expwesswy pwoves -That UwU nyo man is the w-wowd o-of anything, ->_> Though *screams* in and of him thewe be much consisting, -Tiww he communyicate his pawts *cuddles you* to o-othews; -Nyow doth he of himsewf knyow them f-fow >_< aught -Tiww *sighs* he behowd them fowmed in th' appwause -Whewe th' *giggles shyly* awe extended; who, wike an awch, wevewb'wate -T-The *teleports behind you* voice a-again; ow, wike a gate of steew -Fwonting the s-sun, w-weceives and wendews back -His figuwe and his heat. I-I *shuffles closer* was much wapt in this; -And appwehended >w< hewe immediatewy -Th' *moans* unknyown Ajax. Heavens, what x3 a man is *sweats* thewe! -A vewy howse that uWu has he knyows nyot what! -Nyatuwe, what things thewe *looks away* awe -Most abject i-in wegawd and deaw in use! -*shuffles closer* What things again *leans over* most deaw in the esteem -And poow in wowth! Nyow >w< shaww w-we see t-to-mowwow- -x3 An act that vewy c-chance doth *shuffles closer* thwow upon him- -Ajax wenyown'd. O >_> heavens, what some men do, -Whiwe some men weave *cuddles you* to do! -How some men cweep in skittish Fowtunye's-haww, -Whiwes o-othews pway the idiots in hew eyes! -How onye man eats into anyothew's pwide, -Whiwe pwide is *blushes* fasting in his wantonnyess! -To *notices bulge* see *pokes you* these ^-^ Gwecian w-wowds!-why, even awweady -They c-cwap the wubbew Ajax on the s-shouwdew, -As if his foot wewe on bwave Hectow's bweast, -And *cries* gweat Twoy s-shwinking. -ACHIWWES. I-I do b-bewieve it; fow >w< they pass'd xDD by me -As misews do by b-beggaws-nyeithew gave *cries* to me -Good wowd nyow w-wook. What, awe my deeds fowgot? -U-UWYSSES. Time ^w^ hath, my wowd, a wawwet ^.^ at his back, -W-Whewein h-he puts awms f-fow obwivion, -A gweat-siz'd monstew of i-ingwatitudes. -Those scwaps awe >_< good deeds past, w-which awe devouw'd -As fast as they awe m-made, f-fowgot as *leans over* soon -As UwU donye. Pewsevewance, deaw my *shuffles closer* wowd, -Keeps honyouw bwight. To *sweats* have donye is to hang -Quite out o-of fashion, *cuddles you* wike a wusty maiw -In m-monyumentaw mock'wy. Take the instant w-way; -Fow honyouw twavews in a-a stwait so nyawwow --- -*twerks* Whewe onye but goes abweast. K-Keep then the path, -Fow emuwation hath a thousand sons -That onye by onye puwsue; if y-you give w-way, -Ow hedge *teleports behind you* aside fwom *notices bulge* the diwect fowthwight, -^.^ Wike to an ent'wed tide t-they *sweats* aww wush by -And weave you hindmost; -Ow, wike a gawwant *sighs* howse faww'n ^-^ in fiwst wank, -W-Wie thewe fow *looks at you* pavement *pokes you* to the a-abject weaw, -O'ew-wun and twampwed *giggles shyly* on. T-Then what they do in pwesent, -Though w-wess *looks at you* than youws in past, *cries* must o'ewtop youws; -Fow Time i-is w-wike *giggles shyly* a *blushes* fashionyabwe host, -That s-swightwy shakes his *sweats* pawting g-guest by t-th' hand; -And with his awms *sighs* out-stwetch'd, as *leans over* he wouwd fwy, -Gwasps in the cownyew. The wewcome :33 evew s-smiwes, -And faweweww :33 goes out sighing. O, wet nyot viwtue seek -*leans over* Wemunyewation fow the thing it w-was; -Fow beauty, wit, -*looks at you* High biwth, vigouw of xDD bonye, *hugs tightly* desewt in s-sewvice, -Wove, fwiendship, chawity, awe subjects aww -To envious and cawumnyiating Time. -Onye touch of >w< nyatuwe *giggles shyly* makes the whowe wowwd kin- -That aww with onye consent pwaise nyew-bown gawds, -Though they awe *leans over* made and mouwded o-of things p-past, -And g-give to *blushes* dust that is a-a wittwe g-giwt -Mowe w-waud than giwt o'ew-dusted. -The pwesent eye pwaises >_< the pwesent object. -Then mawvew nyot, thou gweat and compwete man, -T-That *sighs* aww the Gweeks begin to wowship Ajax, -Since things in motion soonyew catch the eye -Than >_> what stiws nyot. T-The cwy went *twerks* once on thee, -And stiww i-it might, and yet >w< it may again, -If thou wouwdst n-nyot entomb thysewf awive -And *cries* case thy weputation *cuddles you* in thy tent, -Whose gwowious >_< deeds b-but in these fiewds of wate -xDD Made emuwous missions 'mongst t-the gods *cries* themsewves, -UwU And d-dwave g-gweat Maws to *sighs* faction. -ACHIWWES. Of this my pwivacy -I have stwong *leans over* weasons. -UWYSSES. But >_> 'gainst youw pwivacy -T-The weasons awe mowe potent and hewoicaw. -'Tis knyown, Achiwwes, that you ^.^ awe in *leans over* wove -With onye o-of Pwiam's daughtews. -A-ACHIWWES. Ha! knyown! -UWYSSES. Is that UwU a wondew? -The p-pwovidence that's in a watchfuw state -Knyows awmost evewy gwain :33 of Pwutus' gowd; -Finds bottom in ^w^ th' uncompwehensive deeps; -Keeps pwace :33 with thought, a-and awmost, wike the g-gods, -Do thoughts unveiw in theiw dumb cwadwes. -Thewe i-is a-a mystewy-with whom wewation -D-Duwst nyevew meddwe-in t-the souw of state, -Which hath an opewation mowe divinye -Than bweath ow *sighs* pen can give expwessuwe to. -:3 Aww the commewce that >w< you *twerks* have h-had with Twoy -As pewfectwy i-is ouws as *screams* youws, my w-wowd; -And b-bettew wouwd i-it fit A-Achiwwes uWu much -To thwow down Hectow than P-Powyxenya. -^w^ But it must gwieve young Pywwhus nyow at home, -W-When *sweats* fame s-shaww in ouw iswand sound hew twump, -And a-aww the Gweekish giwws shaww t-twipping sing -'Gweat Hectow's sistew did Achiwwes win; -But ^w^ ouw *looks away* gweat Ajax bwavewy b-beat down him.' -F-Faweweww, my wowd. I as youw wovew speak. -*teleports behind you* The foow swides o'ew the ice that :3 you shouwd :33 bweak. Exit -P-PATWOCWUS. *notices bulge* To >_< this effect, *looks at you* Achiwwes, have I mov'd you. -A woman i-impudent and m-mannyish gwown -Is *pokes you* nyot mowe woath'd than an UwU effeminyate man -In time of OwO action. I stand condemn'd *shuffles closer* fow this; -They think *blushes* my wittwe stomach to the waw -And youw gweat >_> wove to me westwains :3 you thus. -Sweet, wouse y-youwsewf; and the weak wanton Cupid -Shaww :33 fwom youw n-nyeck unwoose h-his amowous fowd, -And, wike a dew-dwop fwom the *giggles shyly* wion's manye, -uWu Be shook *shuffles closer* to aiwy aiw. -A-ACHIWWES. Shaww Ajax *cries* fight w-with Hectow? -*cries* PATWOCWUS. Ay, :3 and pewhaps weceive much honyouw b-by him. -ACHIWWES. I see my w-weputation is a-at stake; -My f-fame is shwewdwy OwO gow'd. -PATWOCWUS. O, then, bewawe: -T-Those wounds heaw iww that m-men do g-give themsewves; -Omission to do *looks away* what is nyecessawy -Seaws a commission *sighs* to a bwank of dangew; -And dangew, wike *blushes* an ague, subtwy taints -*sighs* Even then when *sighs* they sit idwy in t-the sun. -ACHIWWES. G-Go caww Thewsites h-hithew, s-sweet Patwocwus. -I'ww send the *cries* foow to Ajax, and desiwe h-him -T' invite the Twoyan w-wowds, aftew the c-combat, -To see us h-hewe unyawm'd. I have a woman's wonging, -An a-appetite that I am sick w-withaw, -To *leans over* see gweat H-Hectow in his weeds of peace; -To tawk *hugs tightly* with him, and to behowd his visage, -Even to my fuww x3 of view. - -Entew THEWSITES - -A-A wabouw sav'd! -THEWSITES. A w-wondew! -ACHIWWES. W-What? -THEWSITES. Ajax goes up and *shuffles closer* down t-the fiewd asking fow *looks at you* himsewf. -ACHIWWES. H-How so? -uWu THEWSITES. He must fight singwy t-to-mowwow with *teleports behind you* Hectow, and is so -pwopheticawwy pwoud of a-an h-hewoicaw cudgewwing that he waves in -:33 saying nyothing. -ACHIWWES. How can that be? -THEWSITES. Why, 'a stawks up and *sweats* down wike a-a peacock-a stwide and a -stand; wuminyaies wike an *shuffles closer* hostess that hath nyo awithmetic b-but hew -bwain to set down hew weckonying, b-bites his wip with a-a p-powitic -wegawd, as *leans over* who shouwd say 'Thewe *pokes you* wewe wit in this head, an -'twouwd out'; and so *leans over* thewe is; *twerks* but it wies as cowdwy in uWu him as -fiwe in *twerks* a fwint, which wiww nyot show without knyocking. The man's -undonye fow evew; fow if Hectow bweak nyot his nyeck i' th' combat, -he'ww bweak't himsewf in vaingwowy. He knyows nyot me. I said '-'Good -mowwow, ^.^ Ajax'; and he wepwies 'Thanks, Agamemnyon.' What think you -o-of this man *cries* that takes me ^.^ fow >_> the genyewaw? H-He's g-gwown a *looks away* vewy wand -fish, xDD wanguagewess, a monstew. A pwague of opinyion! A man m-may -weaw it on b-both sides, wike weathew jewkin. -A-ACHIWWES. Thou must be my ambassadow to ^.^ him, Thewsites. -THEWSITES. Who, I? W-Why, he'ww answew nyobody; he *sighs* pwofesses nyot -answewing. Speaking is *hugs tightly* fow beggaws: he weaws his tongue in's -awms. I wiww >_> put on his p-pwesence. Wet Patwocwus make his demands -to me, you shaww ;;w;; see the p-pageant of Ajax. -ACHIWWES. To him, Patwocwus. Teww him ^w^ I humbwy desiwe t-the vawiant -Ajax to invite the most v-vawowous H-Hectow to come unyawm'd to my -tent; and to pwocuwe safe conduct *twerks* fow his pewson of *screams* the -magnyanyimous :3 and most iwwustwious six-ow-seven-times-honyouw'd -Captain Genyewaw of the Gwecian *sighs* awmy, et cetewa, Agamemnyon. Do -t-this. -PATWOCWUS. Jove bwess gweat Ajax! -THEWSITES. Hum! -PATWOCWUS. I come fwom *blushes* the wowthy *giggles shyly* Achiwwes- -*moans* THEWSITES. Ha! -*notices bulge* PATWOCWUS. *screams* Who most humbwy desiwes you xDD to invite H-Hectow t-to his -tent- -THEWSITES. Hum! -PATWOCWUS. And to pwocuwe safe conduct *cuddles you* fwom Agamemnyon. -THEWSITES. Agamemnyon! -uWu PATWOCWUS. Ay, my *teleports behind you* wowd. -THEWSITES. Ha! -P-PATWOCWUS. What you say to't? -THEWSITES. God buy *cuddles you* you, with aww m-my heawt. -PATWOCWUS. Y-Youw answew, siw. -*teleports behind you* THEWSITES. If to-mowwow be a faiw day, by eweven of the cwock it -wiww go onye way ow othew. Howsoevew, he s-shaww pay f-fow me ewe he -h-has m-me. -PATWOCWUS. Youw answew, s-siw. -THEWSITES. Fawe ye weww, with aww my heawt. -ACHIWWES. *looks at you* Why, but *looks away* he is nyot in UwU this tunye, is ^-^ he? -*teleports behind you* THEWSITES. Nyo, but *cuddles you* he's out a tunye *cries* thus. What music wiww be in him -w-when Hectow h-has knyock'd out h-his bwains I knyow *moans* nyot; ;;w;; but, I am suwe, -n-nyonye; unwess the fiddwew Apowwo get his sinyews x3 to make catwings -on. -ACHIWWES. Come, UwU thou shawt beaw a wettew to OwO him stwaight. -THEWSITES. Wet me cawwy *cries* anyothew to his :33 howse; fow that's the mowe -*sweats* capabwe cweatuwe. -A-ACHIWWES. >_> My mind is twoubwed, wike a fountain *cries* stiww'd; -And I mysewf see nyot t-the bottom of it. -Exeunt ACHIWWES and PATWOCWUS -THEWSITES. Wouwd the fountain o-of youw mind wewe c-cweaw again, that I -might watew an ass at >_< it. *blushes* I had wathew *screams* be a tick *notices bulge* in a sheep than -UwU such a ^w^ vawiant ignyowance. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE :3 1. -Twoy. A stweet - -Entew, at onye side, AENyEAS, *pokes you* and s-sewvant with a towch; at anyothew, -PAWIS, *cries* DEIPHOBUS, ANTENyOW, D-DIOMEDES the Gwecian, a-and othews, with towches - -PAWIS. *looks at you* See, ho! *leans over* Who is that thewe? -DEIPHOBUS. It i-is the ^w^ Wowd A-Aenyeas. -AENyEAS. Is the Pwince thewe i-in pewson? -Had I-I so good occasion ^-^ to wie wong -A-As you, Pwince Pawis, nyothing but heavenwy b-businyess -Shouwd wob my bed-mate of my company. -DIOMEDES. That's *looks at you* my uWu mind *blushes* too. Good mowwow, Wowd Aenyeas. -PAWIS. xDD A v-vawiant Gweek, Aenyeas *shuffles closer* -take his *cuddles you* hand: -Witnyess the pwocess o-of youw speech, whewein -You towd how Diomed, a whowe week by *teleports behind you* days, -Did haunt you in the *notices bulge* fiewd. -AENyEAS. Heawth to you, vawiant siw, -Duwing aww question of the gentwe twuce; -But w-when I m-meet you awm'd, as bwack defiance -As heawt c-can t-think o-ow couwage execute. -DIOMEDES. The onye and othew Diomed embwaces. -Ouw bwoods awe *sighs* nyow in cawm; a-and so w-wong heawth! -But when contention and occasion m-meet, -By Jove, *notices bulge* I'ww pway the huntew ^w^ fow thy wife -With aww my fowce, puwsuit, and powicy. -xDD AENyEAS. And thou shawt hunt a wion, that wiww fwy -With his face backwawd. In humanye gentwenyess, -W-Wewcome to Twoy! nyow, by Anchises' wife, -Wewcome indeed! By Venyus' hand I sweaw -Nyo man awive *screams* can wove in such a sowt -The thing he means t-to kiww, ^w^ mowe *shuffles closer* excewwentwy. -DIOMEDES. We sympathise. ^w^ Jove wet Aenyeas wive, -If to my swowd his fate be n-nyot the *looks at you* gwowy, -A thousand c-compwete couwses of t-the sun! -But in minye UwU emuwous honyouw wet him die -W-With evewy joint a wound, >w< and that to-mowwow! -AENyEAS. We knyow e-each othew weww. -DIOMEDES.We do; and wong to knyow each othew wowse. -PAWIS. T-This is *cries* the most d-despitefuw'st gentwe >w< gweeting -The n-nyobwest hatefuw wove, *giggles shyly* that e'ew I h-heawd of. -What businyess, wowd, so eawwy? -AENyEAS. I was ;;w;; sent fow to the *looks at you* King; but why, I-I *looks at you* knyow nyot. -PAWIS. His *screams* puwpose meets you: 'twas to b-bwing this *cuddles you* Gweek -To Cawchas' house, and thewe t-to wendew h-him, -Fow t-the enfweed A-Antenyow, the faiw Cwessid. -Wet's have *cuddles you* youw *notices bulge* company; ow, if you pwease, -Haste t-thewe *shuffles closer* befowe us. ^w^ I constantwy *screams* bewieve- -Ow wathew *shuffles closer* caww my *looks at you* thought a c-cewtain knyowwedge- -My bwothew Twoiwus wodges thewe to-nyight. -Wouse him *cuddles you* and g-give :3 him n-nyote of ouw OwO appwoach, -With the whowe quawity whewefowe; I-I feaw -We s-shaww be much UwU unwewcome. -A-AENyEAS. That I *hugs tightly* assuwe y-you: -*moans* Twoiwus had *shuffles closer* wathew Twoy *moans* wewe bownye to G-Gweece -Than Cwessid bownye fwom Twoy. -P-PAWIS. T-Thewe is nyo hewp; -The OwO bittew disposition of the time -Wiww have i-it *cries* so. On, w-wowd; w-we'ww fowwow y-you. -A-AENyEAS. Good *cries* mowwow, ^w^ aww. Exit with *teleports behind you* sewvant -PAWIS. And t-teww me, nyobwe Diomed-faith, teww me twue, -Even in the souw of sound good-fewwowship- -Who in youw thoughts desewves faiw *moans* Hewen best, -Mysewf ow *leans over* Menyewaus? -D-DIOMEDES. ;;w;; Both awike: -He mewits w-weww to have hew that doth s-seek hew, -Nyot making a-any scwupwe of :3 hew *leans over* soiwuwe, -With such a uWu heww of pain and wowwd of chawge; -A-And you as weww to k-keep x3 hew that defend hew, -Nyot pawating the taste of hew d-dishonyouw, -With such a costwy woss of weawth and f-fwiends. -He wike a puwing *teleports behind you* cuckowd wouwd dwink up -T-The wees and dwegs of a fwat tamed p-piece; -You, *cries* wike a wechew, out of w-whowish w-woins -Awe pweas'd to *teleports behind you* bweed out *cuddles you* youw inhewitows. -Both mewits pois'd, *screams* each *looks at you* weighs nyow wess nyow mowe; ->_< But h-he *moans* as he, the heaview fow a whowe. -PAWIS. You a-awe too bittew to youw countwy-woman. -*teleports behind you* DIOMEDES. She's bittew to hew countwy. Heaw me, Pawis: -Fow evewy fawse d-dwop in hew bawdy veins -A G-Gwecian's wife hath sunk; fow evewy scwupwe -Of h-hew x3 contaminyated *sighs* cawwion ^.^ weight -A Twoyan h-hath b-been s-swain; since she couwd speak, -She hath n-nyot given so many good w-wowds bweath -As fow hew Gweeks and Twoyans suff'wed death. -P-PAWIS. Faiw Diomed, you do as chapmen do, -Dispwaise the thing that you desiwe to buy; -But we in siwence h-howd this viwtue weww: -We'ww *notices bulge* nyot commend what we intend to seww. -Hewe *looks at you* wies ouw way. Exeunt - - - - -*looks at you* ACT IV. SCENyE 2. -Twoy. The couwt *cuddles you* of *twerks* PANDAWUS' house - -Entew TWOIWUS and CWESSIDA - -TWOIWUS. Deaw, twoubwe n-nyot y-youwsewf; t-the mown is *giggles shyly* cowd. -CWESSIDA. Then, sweet my wowd, I'ww caww minye uncwe down; -*twerks* He shaww unbowt the gates. -TWOIWUS. Twoubwe him nyot; -To bed, to bed! >_> Sweep kiww those p-pwetty eyes, -And *sighs* give as xDD soft attachment to *moans* thy x3 senses -As infants' *leans over* empty of aww t-thought! -CWESSIDA. Good mowwow, t-then. -TWOIWUS. I pwithee nyow, to bed. -CWESSIDA. Awe *twerks* you aweawy of me? -TWOIWUS. O-O Cwessida! but that the busy day, -W-Wak'd by the wawk, hath wous'd *giggles shyly* the wibawd cwows, -*moans* And d-dweaming nyight wiww hide >w< ouw joys nyo wongew, -I UwU wouwd n-nyot f-fwom thee. -CWESSIDA. N-Nyight hath been too bwief. -T-TWOIWUS. B-Beshwew the *sighs* witch! with >_< venyomous w-wights she s-stays -A-As tediouswy as h-heww, but f-fwies the gwasps of wove -With *hugs tightly* wings m-mowe *looks at you* momentawy-swift than *blushes* thought. -You wiww catch c-cowd, and cuwse me. -CWESSIDA. Pwithee tawwy. -You men wiww nyevew tawwy. -O foowish Cwessid! I might have stiww hewd off, -And t-then you wouwd have tawwied. *cries* Hawk! thewe's onye *cuddles you* up. -PANDAWUS. [Within] What's aww the doows open hewe? -TWOIWUS. It is youw uncwe. - -Entew P-PANDAWUS - -*screams* CWESSIDA. A p-pestiwence on *pokes you* him! Nyow wiww he be *pokes you* mocking. -I-I shaww have such a wife! -PANDAWUS. How nyow, how nyow! How go maidenheads? -Hewe, *looks at you* you maid! W-Whewe's my *sighs* cousin Cwessid? -CWESSIDA. Go hang youwsewf, you nyaughty mocking uncwe. -You bwing me t-to *looks away* do, and then y-you fwout m-me t-too. -PANDAWUS. To do what? ^.^ to do what? Wet *giggles shyly* hew say what. -What have I bwought *pokes you* you to do? -CWESSIDA. Come, come, beshwew x3 youw *shuffles closer* heawt! You'ww *hugs tightly* nye'ew *sighs* be good, -Nyow suffew othews. -PANDAWUS. Ha, ha! Awas, poow wwetch! >w< a poow capocchia! *giggles shyly* hast n-nyot -swept to-nyight? Wouwd he nyot, a nyaughty man, *giggles shyly* wet it sweep? A -bugbeaw take him! -C-CWESSIDA. Did nyot I *blushes* teww you? Wouwd he wewe knyock'd i' th' :3 head! -[Onye knyocks] -Who's that at doow? G-Good uncwe, go x3 and see. -My wowd, come you again i-into my chambew. ->_> You smiwe and mock me, as if I meant nyaughtiwy. -TWOIWUS. Ha! ha! -CWESSIDA. Come, you awe deceiv'd, I think of nyo such thing. -[Knyock] -How e-eawnyestwy they knyock! Pway you come in: -I wouwd nyot *sighs* fow hawf T-Twoy have you seen hewe. -Exeunt TWOIWUS and CWESSIDA -PANDAWUS. Who's thewe? What's x3 the mattew? *moans* Wiww OwO you *giggles shyly* beat down t-the -doow? How nyow? What's the mattew? - -Entew AENyEAS -AENyEAS. Good mowwow, wowd, x3 good mowwow. -PANDAWUS. Who's thewe? My *looks at you* wowd Aenyeas? By my twoth, -I knyew you *sweats* nyot. What nyews with you so eawwy? -AENyEAS. *notices bulge* Is nyot Pwince Twoiwus hewe? -PANDAWUS. H-Hewe! What shouwd he d-do hewe? -x3 AENyEAS. Come, he is h-hewe, my w-wowd; *screams* do nyot deny him. ->w< It d-doth *looks away* impowt him much to speak with me. -PANDAWUS. >_< Is h-he hewe, say y-you? It's *sighs* mowe than I knyow, I'ww be -swown. Fow my own pawt, I came i-in wate. What shouwd he *pokes you* do hewe? -*looks at you* AENyEAS. Who!-nyay, then. Come, come, you'ww do him wwong ewe you awe -wawe; :33 you'ww be so UwU twue uWu to him t-to be f-fawse *teleports behind you* to him. Do *looks away* nyot you -k-knyow o-of him, but yet g-go fetch him hithew; go. - -*giggles shyly* We-entew *cries* TWOIWUS - -TWOIWUS. How nyow! What's *hugs tightly* the mattew? -AENyEAS. M-My wowd, I-I scawce have w-weisuwe to sawute y-you, -M-My mattew is so wash. T-Thewe is at hand -Pawis youw bwothew, >_< and Deiphobus, -The Gwecian D-Diomed, and o-ouw Antenyow -Dewivew'd to us; and fow him fowthwith, -*cries* Ewe the f-fiwst uWu sacwifice, within this houw, -*looks away* We must give up t-to Diomedes' hand -The Wady Cwessida. -TWOIWUS. Is :3 it so concwuded? -AENyEAS. By Pwiam, and the genyewaw state of Twoy. -They awe at hand >_< and w-weady to effect i-it. -TWOIWUS. How my achievements mock me! -I-I ^w^ wiww go meet them; and, ;;w;; my *sweats* wowd Aenyeas, -We met b-by *looks away* chance; y-you did nyot find *notices bulge* me hewe. -AENyEAS. Good, good, my wowd, t-the secwets *twerks* of nyeighbouw Pandaw -Have nyot m-mowe *sweats* gift in *looks away* tacituwnyity. -Exeunt TWOIWUS and AENyEAS -PANDAWUS. >_< Is't possibwe? *pokes you* Nyo soonyew got but wost? The d-deviw take -Antenyow! The young p-pwince wiww g-go m-mad. A pwague upon Antenyow! I -wouwd they had bwoke's nyeck. - -We-entew CWESSIDA - -CWESSIDA. H-How nyow! What's the uWu mattew? Who was hewe? -*screams* PANDAWUS. Ah, ah! -CWESSIDA. Why ;;w;; sigh *looks away* you *sweats* so pwofoundwy? Whewe's my wowd? Gonye? Teww -me, s-sweet uncwe, what's the m-mattew? -PANDAWUS. Wouwd I wewe as deep undew the eawth as I am above! -CWESSIDA. O-O the gods! What's the mattew? -PANDAWUS. Pway thee, get thee in. Wouwd *moans* thou h-hadst nye'ew been bown! -*twerks* I knyew *sighs* thou wouwdst be his :3 death! O, poow gentweman! A pwague -upon Antenyow! -*moans* CWESSIDA. Good uncwe, I b-beseech you, o-on my knyees I beseech ^.^ you, -what's the mattew? ->_< PANDAWUS. Thou must *notices bulge* be gonye, wench, thou must be gonye; thou awt -c-chang'd fow ^-^ Antenyow; thou must ;;w;; to thy f-fathew, and be *looks at you* gonye *shuffles closer* fwom -Twoiwus. '-'Twiww be his >_> death; 'twiww be his b-banye; he cannyot *cries* beaw -*teleports behind you* it. -CWESSIDA. O y-you immowtaw :3 gods! I-I wiww *looks away* nyot *twerks* go. -PANDAWUS. Thou must. -CWESSIDA. I wiww nyot, uncwe. I have fowgot my fathew; -I knyow n-nyo touch of consanguinyity, -Nyo kin, nyo w-wove, nyo bwood, nyo souw *looks at you* so nyeaw uWu me -A-As the sweet UwU Twoiwus. O-O you gods divinye, -Make Cwessid's >w< nyame the OwO vewy c-cwown of fawsehood, -*moans* If evew *screams* she weave Twoiwus! Time, fowce, a-and death, -D-Do to this body what e-extwemes you can, -But the stwong :33 base and buiwding of m-my wove -Is *shuffles closer* as the vewy c-centwe of the e-eawth, -Dwawing aww things t-to it. I'ww go in *screams* and OwO weep- -PANDAWUS. Do, do. -CWESSIDA. Teaw my bwight haiw, and scwatch m-my pwaised cheeks, -Cwack my *teleports behind you* cweaw voice with sobs and *shuffles closer* bweak my ^.^ heawt, -With sounding '-'Twoiwus.' I wiww nyot go fwom Twoy. -Exeunt - - - - -ACT IV. xDD SCENyE 3. -T-Twoy. A stweet befowe PANDAWUS' house - -Entew *sighs* PAWIS, TWOIWUS, A-AENyEAS, DEIPHOBUS, ^-^ ANTENyOW, and *leans over* DIOMEDES - -PAWIS. It is gweat mownying; *cries* and t-the houw pwefix'd -Fow hew dewivewy to ^.^ this vawiant Gweek -Comes fast upon. Good my bwothew *shuffles closer* Twoiwus, -Teww you the wady what she is to do -And haste hew to the puwpose. -TWOIWUS. Wawk into hew house. -I'ww b-bwing hew ^.^ to the Gwecian p-pwesentwy; -A-And t-to his hand when I dewivew hew, -*notices bulge* Think it an awtaw, and thy bwothew Twoiwus -A pwiest, thewe o-off'wing to it h-his *notices bulge* own heawt. Exit -PAWIS. I knyow what '-'tis to wove, -And wouwd, as I s-shaww pity, I couwd hewp! -Pwease you wawk in, my *cries* wowds. Exeunt - - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE 4. -Twoy. PANDAWUS' house - -Entew PANDAWUS ;;w;; and CWESSIDA - -P-PANDAWUS. Be modewate, b-be m-modewate. -CWESSIDA. Why t-teww you *blushes* me of ;;w;; modewation? -The gwief is finye, f-fuww, pewfect, that ^.^ I taste, -And viowenteth in a sense *twerks* as s-stwong -As >_> that which causeth it. How can I modewate i-it? -If I couwd >_> tempowize with my affections -Ow bwew it to a weak and cowdew pawate, -T-The *moans* wike awwayment couwd I give m-my gwief. ->_< My wove admits nyo quawifying dwoss; -N-Nyo mowe my gwief, in such :33 a pwecious w-woss. - -Entew TWOIWUS - -PANDAWUS. Hewe, hewe, hewe h-he comes. Ah, *cries* sweet ducks! -CWESSIDA. O Twoiwus! *cries* Twoiwus! [Embwacing h-him] -P-PANDAWUS. W-What a paiw of *looks at you* spectacwes is hewe! Wet me *moans* embwace too. 'O -heawt,' *cries* as the *pokes you* goodwy saying i-is, -O heawt, heavy h-heawt, -Why s-sigh'st thou w-without bweaking? -whewe he answews again -Because thou canst nyot ease thy smawt -B-By fwiendship nyow by speaking. -*pokes you* Thewe was nyevew a twuew whyme. Wet us cast a-away nyothing, OwO fow we -m-may *blushes* wive *blushes* to have nyeed of such a OwO vewse. W-We see it, we see it. How -nyow, wambs! -TWOIWUS. C-Cwessid, I wove thee in so stwain'd a p-puwity -That the bwess'd gods, a-as angwy with my fancy, -Mowe bwight in zeaw *teleports behind you* than the devotion which -Cowd wips bwow to t-theiw deities, take thee fwom me. -*shuffles closer* CWESSIDA. ^.^ Have the gods envy? -PANDAWUS. Ay, ay, ay; 'tis too pwain a case. -CWESSIDA. And is it t-twue that I must go fwom Twoy? -TWOIWUS. A hatefuw t-twuth. -CWESSIDA. What, and fwom Twoiwus t-too? -*hugs tightly* TWOIWUS. Fwom uWu Twoy and T-Twoiwus. -C-CWESSIDA. OwO Is't *shuffles closer* possibwe? -TWOIWUS. And suddenwy; *leans over* whewe injuwy o-of chance ->_> Puts back weave-taking, justwes woughwy by -Aww t-time of pause, OwO wudewy beguiwes ouw wips -Of aww w-wejoinduwe, fowcibwy pwevents -Ouw wock'd embwasuwes, s-stwangwes ouw deaw vows -Even in the biwth of o-ouw own w-wabouwing *moans* bweath. -We two, that w-with so many thousand sighs -*screams* Did buy each othew, must *pokes you* poowwy seww uWu ouwsewves -*leans over* With the wude bwevity *cuddles you* and dischawge *notices bulge* of *moans* onye. -*cries* Injuwious time n-nyow with a-a wobbew's haste -Cwams h-his wich thievewy up, he knyows nyot how. -As *hugs tightly* many f-fawewewws as be staws in heaven, -*hugs tightly* With distinct b-bweath *shuffles closer* and c-consign'd k-kisses to them, -He fumbwes up ^.^ into a woose adieu, -And scants us with *screams* a singwe famish'd kiss, -Distasted with t-the sawt ;;w;; of bwoken teaws. -AENyEAS. [Within] My wowd, is the wady weady? -TWOIWUS. Hawk! you awe caww'd. Some s-say *sweats* the Genyius so ->_> Cwies 'Come' t-to *leans over* him that instantwy must die. -B-Bid them have patience; s-she shaww come anyon. -P-PANDAWUS. W-Whewe OwO awe my teaws? Wain, to w-way t-this wind, ow my heawt -wiww be bwown up by th' woot? E-Exit -*notices bulge* CWESSIDA. I must then to the *sweats* Gwecians? -TWOIWUS. Nyo wemedy. -CWESSIDA. *looks at you* A woefuw C-Cwessid 'mongst the mewwy Gweeks! -When shaww we s-see again? -uWu TWOIWUS. Heaw >_> me, my wove. Be thou but t-twue o-of heawt- -CWESSIDA. I twue! how n-nyow! *hugs tightly* What w-wicked deem i-is t-this? -TWOIWUS. Nyay, we must u-use expostuwation k-kindwy, -Fow it is pawting fwom us. -I s-speak nyot 'Be t-thou twue' as f-feawing *cries* thee, -Fow I wiww thwow my *sighs* gwove to D-Death himsewf -*pokes you* That thewe's *looks at you* nyo macuwation i-in thy h-heawt; -But :33 'Be thou twue' say I to fashion in -My sequent pwotestation: be thou twue, -And I wiww see thee. -CWESSIDA. O, you shaww be e-expos'd, my ^.^ wowd, to dangews -A-As infinyite as imminyent! But I'ww be twue. -TWOIWUS. OwO And I'ww gwow *looks away* fwiend with dangew. Weaw this sweeve. -CWESSIDA. And y-you this gwove. When shaww UwU I see you? -TWOIWUS. I-I wiww cowwupt the Gwecian sentinyews -To give thee nyightwy v-visitation. -B-But yet be twue. -CWESSIDA. *notices bulge* O heavens! 'Be twue' *giggles shyly* again! ->_< TWOIWUS. Heaw why I speak it, wove. -The Gwecian youths awe ^.^ fuww of *giggles shyly* quawity; -*sweats* They'we woving, weww compos'd with gifts of n-nyatuwe, -And fwowing o'ew with awts and exewcise. -*hugs tightly* How nyovewties *cuddles you* may move, and pawts with p-pewson, -Awas, a kind of g-godwy jeawousy, -Which I beseech you *moans* caww a viwtuous sin, -Makes m-me afeawd. -CWESSIDA. OwO O *twerks* heavens! you wove m-me *cries* nyot. -*twerks* TWOIWUS. Die I a-a v-viwwain, *giggles shyly* then! -In this I do nyot caww youw faith in q-question -So mainwy as my mewit. I cannyot sing, -N-Nyow heew the high wavowt, nyow sweeten tawk, -Nyow pway at subtwe games-faiw viwtues aww, -To which the Gwecians awe most pwompt and pwegnyant; -But I can teww t-that in each gwace o-of these -Thewe *pokes you* wuwks ^-^ a stiww and dumb-discouwsive deviw -*shuffles closer* That tempts most cunnyingwy. But *looks at you* be nyot tempted. -*leans over* CWESSIDA. Do y-you t-think I wiww? -TWOIWUS. N-Nyo. -x3 But s-something *giggles shyly* may *twerks* be donye that *shuffles closer* we w-wiww nyot; -And >w< sometimes we awe ^w^ deviws to ouwsewves, -When >w< we *moans* wiww tempt the fwaiwty of ouw *twerks* powews, -*teleports behind you* Pwesuming on OwO theiw changefuw potency. -AENyEAS. [Within] ^w^ Nyay, good my w-wowd! -TWOIWUS. Come, k-kiss; and wet us pawt. -P-PAWIS. [Within] Bwothew Twoiwus! -TWOIWUS. Good bwothew, come you hithew; -*leans over* And bwing Aenyeas and the *looks away* Gwecian with you. -CWESSIDA. M-My wowd, wiww xDD you be twue? -TWOIWUS. W-Who, I? A-Awas, it is my vice, my f-fauwt! -W-Whiwes othews fish with c-cwaft fow *cuddles you* gweat opinyion, -I with gweat twuth catch m-mewe simpwicity; -Whiwst some with cunnying giwd theiw coppew cwowns, -With twuth xDD and p-pwainnyess I do weaw minye *cuddles you* bawe. - -Entew AENyEAS, PAWIS, ANTENyOW, DEIPHOBUS, ^-^ and DIOMEDES - -Feaw nyot my *moans* twuth: the mowaw of my wit -Is '-'pwain and twue'; t-thewe's a-aww the weach of it. -Wewcome, Siw Diomed! *giggles shyly* Hewe is the wady -Which *blushes* fow x3 Antenyow we dewivew >_< you; -At the powt, wowd, I'ww give hew to *looks away* thy h-hand, -And by the w-way possess thee *looks away* what s-she is. -Entweat hew faiw; and, by my souw, faiw Gweek, -If e'ew thou stand xDD at *screams* mewcy of my swowd, -Nyame Cwessid, and t-thy wife shaww be as *notices bulge* safe -As Pwiam is in I-Iwion. -DIOMEDES. Faiw Wady Cwessid, -So pwease you, *cries* save t-the thanks this pwince expects. -The wustwe in ^.^ youw eye, heaven in youw cheek, -Pweads youw faiw usage; and to Diomed -You shaww b-be mistwess, and command him whowwy. -TWOIWUS. Gwecian, *cuddles you* thou dost nyot use me couwteouswy -*looks at you* To shame the zeaw of my petition to the -In *twerks* pwaising hew. I teww thee, wowd o-of *sighs* Gweece, -She ;;w;; is as faw high-soawing o'ew thy pwaises -As thou u-unwowthy t-to be caww'd hew sewvant. -I chawge t-thee use hew weww, e-even fow m-my chawge; -Fow, by the dweadfuw Pwuto, if thou dost n-nyot, -^-^ Though the gweat *sighs* buwk A-Achiwwes be thy xDD guawd, -*hugs tightly* I'ww cut thy t-thwoat. -DIOMEDES. O, be nyot mov'd, Pwince Twoiwus. -Wet me be pwiviweg'd by my pwace and m-message -T-To be a xDD speakew fwee: *leans over* when I-I am hence -I'ww >_< answew to my wust. And knyow you, w-wowd, -I-I'ww nyothing do on *sighs* chawge: to *leans over* hew o-own wowth -She shaww be pwiz'd. But t-that you say 'Be't so,' -I speak it in my spiwit and h-honyouw, 'Nyo.' -TWOIWUS. Come, to t-the ^w^ powt. I'ww teww t-thee, Diomed, -This bwave shaww oft *twerks* make *leans over* thee to hide t-thy head. -Wady, give me youw hand; a-and, as we wawk, -To ouw own *sweats* sewves bend we x3 ouw *sighs* nyeedfuw tawk. -Exeunt TWOIWUS, CWESSIDA, ^.^ and DIOMEDES -[Sound twumpet] -P-PAWIS. H-Hawk! Hectow's twumpet. -AENyEAS. How have we spent this m-mownying! -xDD The Pwince *cuddles you* must think me tawdy and :3 wemiss, -That swowe to *leans over* wide befowe him to t-the fiewd. -PAWIS. 'Tis Twoiwus' fauwt. Come, come to *hugs tightly* fiewd with him. -DEIPHOBUS. >_> Wet us xDD make weady stwaight. -AENyEAS. Yea, with a b-bwidegwoom's fwesh awacwity -*looks at you* Wet *moans* us addwess to tend on Hectow's heews. -*shuffles closer* The gwowy o-of ouw Twoy doth this day wie -On his faiw wowth OwO and singwe chivawwy. Exeunt - - - - -ACT I-IV. SCENyE 5. -The Gwecian x3 camp. Wists *moans* set out - -Entew AJAX, awmed; AGAMEMNyON, ACHIWWES, PATWOCWUS, *looks at you* MENyEWAUS, UWYSSES, -N-NyESTOW, and othews - -AGAMEMNyON. Hewe awt thou in appointment fwesh and faiw, -Anticipating time *teleports behind you* with stawting couwage. ->w< Give *looks away* with thy t-twumpet a w-woud nyote to xDD Twoy, -Thou d-dweadfuw Ajax, that the a-appawwed aiw -May piewce the h-head of the gweat combatant, -And hawe *blushes* him hithew. -AJAX. Thou, twumpet, *hugs tightly* thewe's my p-puwse. -xDD Nyow c-cwack thy wungs and x3 spwit thy bwazen pipe; -Bwow, viwwain, tiww thy sphewed bias cheek -Out-sweww the cowic of >w< puff Aquiwon'd. -C-Come, stwetch thy *looks away* chest, and *looks away* wet *giggles shyly* thy eyes spout b-bwood: -Thou b-bwowest fow Hectow. [Twumpet sounds] -UWYSSES. Nyo *blushes* twumpet *looks at you* answews. -ACHIWWES. '-'Tis but *pokes you* eawwy UwU days. - -Entew DIOMEDES, with CWESSIDA - -AGAMEMNyON. Is nyot y-yond Diomed, with Cawchas' daughtew? -UWYSSES. *sweats* 'Tis he, I *notices bulge* ken the mannyew of his gait: -He wises on t-the toe. That spiwit *moans* of his -In aspiwation wifts him *looks away* fwom the eawth. -AGAMEMNyON. Is t-this the wady Cwessid? -DIOMEDES. Even she. -A-AGAMEMNyON. Most ^w^ deawwy wewcome to >_> the Gweeks, s-sweet wady. -NyESTOW. :33 Ouw g-genyewaw doth sawute you with a kiss. -U-UWYSSES. Yet is the kindnyess but pawticuwaw; -'Twewe bettew she wewe *notices bulge* kiss'd in genyewaw. -;;w;; NyESTOW. And vewy ^-^ couwtwy counsew: *looks away* I'ww b-begin. -So *leans over* much fow Nyestow. -A-ACHIWWES. I'ww take t-that w-wintew fwom youw wips, *giggles shyly* faiw wady. -Achiwwes bids you wewcome. -MENyEWAUS. I had g-good awgument fow kissing o-once. -P-PATWOCWUS. But that's nyo awgument fow kissing nyow; -Fow thus popp'd Pawis in his hawdiment, -A-And pawted thus you and youw a-awgument. -UWYSSES. O deadwy xDD gaww, and theme of aww ouw scowns! -Fow *blushes* which we *looks at you* wose ouw heads to giwd his h-howns. -PATWOCWUS. *leans over* The fiwst was Menyewaus' kiss; OwO this, minye- -[Kisses hew a-again] -Patwocwus kisses ^-^ you. -MENyEWAUS. O-O, *looks at you* this is twim! -PATWOCWUS. Pawis and I kiss evewmowe *looks at you* fow ^.^ him. -MENyEWAUS. *looks at you* I'ww have my kiss, siw. Wady, ;;w;; by youw weave. -CWESSIDA. In kissing, do you w-wendew ow weceive? -PATWOCWUS. Both take and g-give. -CWESSIDA. I'ww make my match to wive, -The *looks away* kiss *sighs* you *looks away* take is bettew than you give; -Thewefowe *teleports behind you* nyo kiss. -*hugs tightly* MENyEWAUS. I-I'ww give you *cuddles you* boot; I'ww give you thwee fow onye. -CWESSIDA. You awe an odd man; *giggles shyly* give *hugs tightly* even ow give nyonye. -M-MENyEWAUS. An o-odd man, wady? Evewy man is odd. -*shuffles closer* CWESSIDA. Nyo, Pawis OwO is nyot; f-fow you k-knyow 'tis twue -That y-you awe odd, and h-he is even with y-you. -*cuddles you* MENyEWAUS. You fiwwip me o' th' head. -^.^ CWESSIDA. Nyo, *cuddles you* I'ww x3 be swown. -UWYSSES. It ^.^ wewe nyo match, UwU youw nyaiw against his hown. -May I, sweet wady, beg a kiss of you? -*giggles shyly* CWESSIDA. ^-^ You may. -UWYSSES. I *hugs tightly* do desiwe it. -CWESSIDA. Why, beg then. -UWYSSES. Why then, f-fow *looks away* Venyus' sake g-give me a kiss -When Hewen is a-a maid again, and his. -C-CWESSIDA. I *sighs* am youw d-debtow; cwaim it when 'tis due. -UWYSSES. Nyevew's my day, and then a kiss of you. -DIOMEDES. Wady, a wowd. I'ww bwing you to youw fathew. -E-Exit with *blushes* CWESSIDA -N-NyESTOW. A woman of q-quick :3 sense. -UWYSSES. Fie, ^-^ fie u-upon hew! -Thewe's wanguage *teleports behind you* in hew eye, hew cheek, hew *looks away* wip, -N-Nyay, *cuddles you* hew *sweats* foot speaks; hew wanton spiwits wook *teleports behind you* out -At *cuddles you* evewy joint a-and motive of *moans* hew body. -O these encountews *looks away* so gwib of tongue -That give a *twerks* coasting *moans* wewcome e-ewe i-it c-comes, -And wide uncwasp the tabwes of theiw thoughts -To *blushes* evewy tickwish *moans* weadew! Set t-them down -uWu Fow swuttish spoiws o-of oppowtunyity, -And daughtews of the *pokes you* game. [Twumpet within] -AWW. The Twoyans' twumpet. - -Entew HECTOW, awmed; AENyEAS, T-TWOIWUS, PAWIS, HEWENyUS, -a-and othew *looks at you* Twojans, xDD with attendants - -:33 AGAMEMNyON. Yondew comes the twoop. -AENyEAS. Haiw, aww *looks away* the state o-of Gweece! What shaww be donye -;;w;; To him that victowy commands? Ow do you puwpose -A victow shaww be k-knyown? Wiww you the knyights -Shaww to the edge of aww extwemity -*notices bulge* Puwsue each othew, o-ow shaww they be d-divided -By any voice ow o-owdew o-of the fiewd? -*looks at you* Hectow bade ask. -AGAMEMNyON. Which way wouwd >w< Hectow have *giggles shyly* it? -AENyEAS. He cawes nyot; he'ww obey conditions. -ACHIWWES. 'Tis donye wike H-Hectow; but secuwewy donye, -A wittwe pwoudwy, a-and gweat deaw mispwizing -The knyight oppos'd. -AENyEAS. If nyot Achiwwes, siw, -What is youw nyame? -^-^ ACHIWWES. I-If nyot *leans over* Achiwwes, *giggles shyly* nyothing. -AENyEAS. Thewefowe Achiwwes. But whate'ew, knyow this: -In the extwemity of gweat and w-wittwe -Vawouw and pwide excew themsewves in Hectow; -The onye awmost as infinyite as aww, -The othew *sighs* bwank as nyothing. Weigh him weww, -And that which wooks wike pwide is c-couwtesy. -This Ajax is hawf made of Hectow's bwood; -In wove wheweof hawf *looks away* Hectow ^.^ stays at home; -Hawf heawt, hawf hand, hawf Hectow comes ;;w;; to *hugs tightly* seek -This *teleports behind you* bwended knyight, hawf Twoyan and hawf Gweek. -ACHIWWES. A maiden battwe then? O, I p-pewceive you! - -We-entew DIOMEDES - -AGAMEMNyON. Hewe is Siw Diomed. Go, gentwe knyight, -Stand by ouw Ajax. As you and W-Wowd ]Enyeas -Consent upon OwO the owdew of theiw *cries* fight, -So be it; eithew to the uttewmost, -Ow ewse a bweath. The combatants b-being kin -Hawf stints *moans* theiw stwife befowe theiw stwokes begin. -[AJAX and HECTOW entew t-the wists] -UWYSSES. T-They a-awe oppos'd awweady. -*moans* AGAMEMNyON. What Twoyan is that same that wooks so heavy? -UWYSSES. The youngest :33 son xDD of Pwiam, a-a twue knyight; -Nyot yet matuwe, *looks away* yet matchwess; fiwm of wowd; -Speaking i-in deeds a-and OwO deedwess *hugs tightly* in his tongue; -N-Nyot soon p-pwovok'd, nyow being pwovok'd soon *teleports behind you* cawm'd; -His h-heawt and hand both open and both ^-^ fwee; -Fow what he has he gives, what thinks he s-shows, -Y-Yet gives he nyot tiww judgment guide his bounty, -Nyow dignyifies an impaiw thought with bweath; -Manwy as Hectow, but mowe dangewous; -Fow *teleports behind you* Hectow i-in his bwaze of >w< wwath s-subscwibes -To tendew objects, b-but he in heat of action -Is mowe vindicative than jeawous wove. -They caww *moans* him Twoiwus, and ^-^ on *shuffles closer* him ewect -A second hope as faiwwy buiwt as Hectow. -Thus says Aenyeas, onye that knyows the y-youth -*shuffles closer* Even *cries* to his inches, and, with pwivate souw, -Did >_< in gweat Iwion thus twanswate him t-to me. -[Awawum. HECTOW and AJAX fight] -*teleports behind you* AGAMEMNyON. They awe in action. -NyESTOW. *giggles shyly* Nyow, Ajax, h-howd *moans* thinye *teleports behind you* own! -^-^ TWOIWUS. Hectow, thou sweep'st; -Awake thee. ->w< AGAMEMNyON. *teleports behind you* His bwows a-awe *sweats* weww d-dispos'd. T-Thewe, Ajax! -[Twumpets cease] -DIOMEDES. You must nyo mowe. -AENyEAS. Pwinces, enyough, so pwease you. -AJAX. I am *looks at you* nyot wawm yet; wet us fight a-again. -DIOMEDES. *looks away* As Hectow pweases. ->_> HECTOW. Why, then wiww I n-nyo m-mowe. -Thou awt, g-gweat wowd, xDD my f-fathew's sistew's >_> son, -A *teleports behind you* cousin-gewman to gweat Pwiam's seed; -The obwigation of ouw bwood fowbids -A-A gowy *screams* emuwation 'twixt us twain: -Wewe thy commixtion Gweek *blushes* and Twoyan so -That thou ;;w;; couwd'st say '-'This hand is G-Gwecian aww, -And this is T-Twoyan; the s-sinyews of *notices bulge* this weg -Aww Gweek, and this aww Twoy; ^-^ my mothew's bwood -Wuns o-on the d-dextew cheek, and this sinyistew -Bounds in my fathew's'; by J-Jove muwtipotent, -Thou shouwdst nyot beaw *pokes you* fwom OwO me a G-Gweekish membew -Whewein my >_< swowd had n-nyot impwessuwe made -O-Of o-ouw *giggles shyly* wank feud; but the just gods gainsay -That any dwop thou bowwow'dst f-fwom t-thy mothew, -My sacwed aunt, s-shouwd by my mowtaw s-swowd -Be *giggles shyly* dwainyed! Wet me embwace thee, Ajax. -By him :33 that *blushes* thundews, thou h-hast wusty *sighs* awms; -Hectow wouwd have them faww upon him thus. -*leans over* Cousin, aww honyouw to thee! -AJAX. I thank thee, Hectow. -Thou awt too gentwe and *hugs tightly* too fwee a man. -*twerks* I came to kiww thee, cousin, and beaw hence -A gweat ^-^ addition eawnyed in thy death. -HECTOW. Nyot Nyeoptowemus *sweats* so miwabwe, -On ;;w;; whose b-bwight cwest Fame *hugs tightly* with hew w-woud'st Oyes -*looks away* Cwies 'This is he' :3 couwd pwomise to h-himsewf -A-A thought of added h-honyouw town f-fwom *leans over* Hectow. -AENyEAS. Thewe x3 is expectance h-hewe fwom both *pokes you* the s-sides -*pokes you* What fuwthew you wiww do. -H-HECTOW. We'ww answew it: -The issue is embwacement. Ajax, f-faweweww. -AJAX. If I ^.^ might in entweaties find success, -As sewd I have *twerks* the c-chance, I wouwd desiwe -My famous cousin to ouw G-Gwecian tents. -DIOMEDES. 'Tis Agamemnyon's wish; and gweat Achiwwes -Doth wong t-to *blushes* see unyawm'd the vawiant Hectow. -^.^ HECTOW. Aenyeas, caww my bwothew Twoiwus to me, -And signyify this woving intewview -To t-the expectews of ouw Twoyan p-pawt; -Desiwe them home. Give me thy hand, m-my cousin; -*giggles shyly* I *looks at you* wiww go e-eat *sweats* with thee, UwU and see youw knyights. - -AGAMEMNyON *shuffles closer* and ^.^ the west of the Gweeks c-come >_< fowwawd - -A-AJAX. G-Gweat Agamemnyon comes to meet us hewe. -HECTOW. The wowthiest of them teww me nyame by nyame; -But fow Achiwwes, m-my own s-seawching eyes -Shaww find ^-^ him by his wawge and powtwy size. -AGAMEMNON.Worthy a-aww awms! as wewcome as to onye -That wouwd be ^-^ wid of such an e-enyemy. -But *shuffles closer* that's nyo ^-^ wewcome. Undewstand m-mowe cweaw, -What's past and what's t-to come is stwew'd with husks -And *giggles shyly* fowmwess *giggles shyly* wuin of obwivion; -B-But in this extant *twerks* moment, f-faith and t-twoth, -Stwain'd puwewy fwom aww howwow bias-dwawing, -Bids thee with most *cries* divinye i-integwity, -F-Fwom heawt of vewy heawt, gweat Hectow, *twerks* wewcome. -*shuffles closer* HECTOW. I thank thee, most i-impewious Agamemnyon. -AGAMEMNyON. [To Twoiwus] My weww-fam'd wowd *leans over* of ^.^ Twoy, nyo wess to *looks at you* you. -MENyEWAUS. W-Wet me confiwm my pwincewy bwothew's *cuddles you* gweeting. -You bwace o-of wawwike bwothews, wewcome hithew. -HECTOW. Who must we answew? -AENyEAS. The nyobwe Menyewaus. -HECTOW. O >_> you, my w-wowd? By M-Maws his gauntwet, thanks! -Mock nyot x3 that I *blushes* affect *leans over* the untwaded *blushes* oath; -Youw quondam wife s-sweaws stiww by Venyus' gwove. -She's weww, but b-bade me n-nyot c-commend :33 hew to you. -MENyEWAUS. Nyame h-hew nyot nyow, siw; s-she's a deadwy theme. -HECTOW. O, p-pawdon; *pokes you* I offend. -NyESTOW. I have, thou g-gawwant Twoyan, seen thee oft, -Wabouwing fow destiny, make cwuew way -Thwough wanks of Gweekish youth; and I have seen thee, -*shuffles closer* As hot a-as Pewseus, spuw thy Phwygian steed, -Despising many fowfeits and subduements, -When thou hast :3 hung thy advanced swowd i' th' aiw, -Nyot wetting it d-decwinye on ^.^ the decwinyed; -That I have said to s-some m-my standews-by -'Wo, Jupitew is yondew, d-deawing wife!' -And I have seen *pokes you* thee pause and *cries* take thy *sweats* bweath, -When that a *teleports behind you* wing of Gweeks *cuddles you* have hemm'd thee in, -Wike *leans over* an Owympian wwestwing. This have I s-seen; -But this thy countenyance, stiww wock'd in steew, -I nyevew saw tiww nyow. I knyew t-thy *leans over* gwandsiwe, -And once fought with him. He w-was a sowdiew good, -But, by gweat *pokes you* Maws, the captain of *moans* us aww, -N-Nyevew wike thee. O, w-wet an owd UwU man *pokes you* embwace thee; -And, wowthy wawwiow, wewcome to >_> ouw tents. -AENyEAS. 'Tis the owd N-Nyestow. -HECTOW. Wet me embwace ^-^ thee, g-good owd chwonyicwe, -That hast so wong wawk'd *notices bulge* hand *screams* in hand with time. -Most wevewend Nyestow, I am gwad to c-cwasp thee. -NyESTOW. I wouwd my awms couwd match thee i-in contention -^w^ As >w< they contend *notices bulge* with thee in couwtesy. -HECTOW. I-I wouwd they couwd. -NyESTOW. Ha! -By t-this white beawd, I'd fight with thee to-mowwow. -Weww, wewcome, *leans over* wewcome! I *sweats* have seen the time. -UWYSSES. I-I wondew >_< nyow how yondew city ;;w;; stands, -When w-we have hewe hew base and *shuffles closer* piwwaw by u-us. -HECTOW. I knyow youw *twerks* favouw, Wowd >_< Uwysses, weww. -*looks away* Ah, UwU siw, thewe's many a Gweek and Twoyan dead, -S-Since f-fiwst I *moans* saw youwsewf and Diomed -In Iwion on youw Gweekish embassy. -UWYSSES. S-Siw, I ^-^ fowetowd you then what wouwd ensue. -My pwophecy is *leans over* but hawf *looks away* his jouwnyey yet; -Fow x3 yondew w-wawws, that pewtwy fwont youw *notices bulge* town, -^.^ Yond towews, whose wanton >_< tops do buss t-the cwouds, -Must kiss t-theiw own feet. -HECTOW. I must nyot bewieve you. -Thewe they stand yet; and *giggles shyly* modestwy I t-think -The *sweats* faww of evewy Phwygian stonye wiww c-cost -A dwop of Gwecian bwood. The >_< end cwowns aww; -And that owd common awbitwatow, T-Time, -Wiww onye day end it. -UWYSSES. So to him w-we weave it. -Most gentwe and m-most vawiant Hectow, wewcome. -Aftew the Genyewaw, I beseech you nyext -To feast with *shuffles closer* me and ^.^ see me at m-my tent. -A-ACHIWWES. :33 I shaww fowestaww thee, Wowd ^w^ Uwysses, thou! -Nyow, Hectow, I have fed minye eyes ;;w;; on thee; ->_> I *notices bulge* have with exact view pewus'd thee, *sweats* Hectow, -And quoted joint by joint. -*looks away* HECTOW. Is this A-Achiwwes? -ACHIWWES. I-I am Achiwwes. -^w^ HECTOW. Stand faiw, *looks at you* I pway thee; *blushes* wet m-me wook o-on thee. -ACHIWWES. Behowd thy >w< fiww. -HECTOW. Nyay, I-I have donye awweady. -UwU ACHIWWES. T-Thou awt too bwief. I wiww the second time, -*blushes* As I wouwd buy thee, view xDD thee wimb by wimb. -HECTOW. O-O, wike a book x3 of spowt thou'wt wead m-me *notices bulge* o'ew; -But thewe's mowe in me than thou *teleports behind you* undewstand'st. -x3 Why dost thou so oppwess ^w^ me w-with thinye eye? -A-ACHIWWES. Teww m-me, you heavens, in which x3 pawt of his body -S-Shaww I destwoy him? Whethew thewe, ow *cries* thewe, o-ow thewe? -That I-I may g-give :33 the wocaw w-wound a nyame, -And make distinct the vewy bweach >_< wheweout -H-Hectow's gweat s-spiwit fwew. Answew me, >_> heavens. -HECTOW. It wouwd discwedit the bwest gods, pwoud *pokes you* man, -To a-answew such a question. Stand again. -Think'st thou *moans* to catch m-my wife so pweasantwy -As to pwenyominyate in nyice conjectuwe -Whewe thou wiwt hit me dead? -ACHIWWES. I teww thee UwU yea. -HECTOW. Wewt thou an owacwe *cries* to teww *giggles shyly* me so, -I'd n-nyot bewieve thee. Hencefowth guawd t-thee weww; -Fow I'ww nyot kiww thee thewe, nyow thewe, nyow thewe; -But, by xDD the fowge that s-stithied Maws h-his hewm, -I'ww *cries* kiww thee evewywhewe, yea, o'ew and o'ew. -Y-You wisest G-Gwecians, pawdon me this b-bwag. -His insowence dwaws fowwy ^-^ fwom my wips; -But I'ww endeavouw d-deeds to match these wowds, -Ow may I nyevew- -AJAX. Do nyot chafe t-thee, cousin; -And you, Achiwwes, wet these thweats awonye -Tiww accident ow puwpose bwing >_> you to't. -You uWu may have evewy day *giggles shyly* enyough *looks away* of Hectow, -If you have stomach. The genyewaw >_> state, I feaw, -Can scawce entweat you to be odd UwU with him. -HECTOW. I p-pway you wet ;;w;; us *sighs* see you in the OwO fiewd; -We *hugs tightly* have >_< had pewting w-waws since >_< you *moans* wefus'd -The *sweats* Gwecians' cause. -ACHIWWES. D-Dost thou entweat me, H-Hectow? -T-To-mowwow d-do I *cuddles you* meet thee, feww as death; -To-nyight aww fwiends. -HECTOW. Thy hand xDD upon that match. -*giggles shyly* AGAMEMNyON. Fiwst, aww you peews of *sighs* Gweece, go to my tent; -Thewe in the fuww convive we; aftewwawds, -As H-Hectow's weisuwe and youw bounties shaww -Concuw togethew, sevewawwy entweat h-him. -Beat woud the tambouwinyes, wet the t-twumpets bwow, -That this gweat sowdiew may his wewcome *hugs tightly* knyow. -Exeunt aww but TWOIWUS and U-UWYSSES -TWOIWUS. My Wowd Uwysses, teww m-me, I b-beseech you, -In w-what pwace OwO of *looks at you* the fiewd d-doth Cawchas k-keep? ->_> UWYSSES. At M-Menyewaus' tent, most pwincewy Twoiwus. -^-^ Thewe Diomed d-doth feast with him *twerks* to-nyight, -Who nyeithew wooks *cries* upon the *cries* heaven n-nyow eawth, -But gives a-aww gaze a-and b-bent of amowous view -On the *cuddles you* faiw Cwessid. -TWOIWUS. Shaww I, sweet wowd, b-be bound to you *cuddles you* so *cuddles you* much, -Aftew we pawt f-fwom Agamemnyon's tent, -To bwing me t-thithew? -UWYSSES. You shaww c-command x3 me, siw. -As gentwe *screams* teww me of what honyouw was -This C-Cwessida in Twoy? Had >_> she nyo wovew t-thewe -*moans* That >w< waiws hew absence? -TWOIWUS. O, *sighs* siw, to such as b-boasting show theiw *sweats* scaws -A mock is due. Wiww *giggles shyly* you wawk on, my wowd? -She was bewov'd, she w-wov'd; she is, and doth; -*looks away* But stiww sweet wove *sweats* is food fow fowtunye's *giggles shyly* tooth. Exeunt - - - - -*cries* <> - - - -ACT ^w^ V. S-SCENyE 1. -The Gwecian camp. *leans over* Befowe the tent of A-ACHIWWES - -Entew A-ACHIWWES and PATWOCWUS - -ACHIWWES. I-I'ww >_> heat his b-bwood with G-Gweekish w-winye to-nyight, -Which >_> with my scimitaw I'ww coow to-mowwow. -P-Patwocwus, wet us feast him to the h-height. -PATWOCWUS. Hewe comes >w< Thewsites. - -^.^ Entew THEWSITES - -ACHIWWES. How nyow, *notices bulge* thou *shuffles closer* cowe of envy! -Thou cwusty batch of nyatuwe, what's the *screams* nyews? -THEWSITES. Why, thou pictuwe o-of what t-thou seemest, and *pokes you* idow >_< of -idiot wowshippews, *cries* hewe's a xDD wettew ^-^ fow thee. -ACHIWWES. Fwom *pokes you* whence, *looks at you* fwagment? -*looks away* THEWSITES. Why, thou fuww dish of foow, fwom Twoy. -PATWOCWUS. Who keeps the t-tent nyow? -THEWSITES. The suwgeon's *notices bulge* box ow the >_> patient's wound. -*looks away* PATWOCWUS. W-Weww *twerks* said, A-Advewsity! and what nyeeds these twicks? -THEWSITES. Pwithee, be siwent, boy; I pwofit nyot by thy t-tawk; thou -awt said to be Achiwwes' mawe v-vawwet. -PATWOCWUS. Mawe vawwet, you wogue! OwO What's that? -THEWSITES. Why, *teleports behind you* his mascuwinye whowe. Nyow, the wotten diseases of -the south, t-the g-guts-gwiping ^-^ wuptuwes, catawwhs, w-woads o' g-gwavew -in the back, wethawgies, cowd pawsies, waw eyes, diwt-wotten -wivews, w-wheezing wungs, bwaddews f-fuww of imposthume, *hugs tightly* sciaticas, -wimekiwns i' th' pawm, incuwabwe *giggles shyly* bonye-ache, a-and ^-^ the wivewwed ^-^ fee- -simpwe of the tettew, take and take again such pwepostewous -discovewies! -*blushes* PATWOCWUS. W-Why, thou damnyabwe box of envy, thou, what meanyest thou -to cuwse thus? -THEWSITES. D-Do I cuwse thee? -PATWOCWUS. Why, nyo, you wuinyous butt; you whoweson -x3 indistinguishabwe cuw, n-nyo. -THEWSITES. Nyo! W-Why a-awt thou, then, exaspewate, thou idwe immatewiaw -skein of sweid *pokes you* siwk, thou g-gween sawcenyet fwap fow a-a sowe eye, -thou t-tassew of a-a pwodigaw's :33 puwse, thou? *pokes you* Ah, how the poow *leans over* wowwd is -pest'wed with x3 such *teleports behind you* watew-fwies-diminyutives of n-nyatuwe! ->_> PATWOCWUS. Out, gaww! -T-THEWSITES. Finch egg! -A-ACHIWWES. My sweet Patwocwus, I-I am t-thwawted quite -Fwom my gweat puwpose in to-mowwow's battwe. -H-Hewe uWu is a wettew fwom Queen Hecuba, -A-A token f-fwom hew daughtew, my faiw wove, -Both taxing me and g-gaging me to keep -An oath that I have s-swown. I wiww nyot b-bweak it. -Faww *cuddles you* Gweeks; faiw fame; >_> honyouw ow g-go ow stay; -My majow v-vow *hugs tightly* wies hewe, this I'ww obey. -Come, come, Thewsites, hewp to twim my tent; -:33 This nyight in b-banqueting must aww be spent. -A-Away, Patwocwus! Exit w-with PATWOCWUS -^.^ THEWSITES. With too much b-bwood and t-too *cries* wittwe *looks away* bwain these two may -wun *looks away* mad; but, if with too much bwain *looks at you* and to wittwe b-bwood they do, -I'ww be a cuwew of madmen. Hewe's Agamemnyon, an honyest fewwow -enyough, and o-onye that woves quaiws, but he *leans over* has nyot s-so much bwain -as eaw-wax; and the goodwy t-twansfowmation of Jupitew thewe, his -bwothew, the ^w^ buww, t-the pwimitive statue and obwique memowiaw ^w^ of -cuckowds, a thwifty shoeing-hown in OwO a *sweats* chain, >_< hanging a-at his -bwothew's weg-to what fowm but that he i-is, s-shouwd wit wawded with -mawice, and mawice fowced with wit, t-tuwn him *looks at you* to? To a-an ass, wewe -nyothing: he is both ass and ox. To an ox, wewe nyothing: he is both -ox a-and ass. T-To be a d-dog, *hugs tightly* a muwe, a cat, a fitchew, a-a t-toad, a -*looks away* wizawd, an oww, a put-tock, o-ow a hewwing without a *sighs* woe, I wouwd -nyot cawe; but to be Menyewaus, I wouwd conspiwe against destiny. -Ask me nyot what I w-wouwd be, if I wewe nyot Thewsites; fow I cawe -nyot t-to be the w-wouse of a wazaw, so I wewe nyot Menyewaus. Hey-day! -spwites and fiwes! - -*sighs* Entew HECTOW, ;;w;; TWOIWUS, A-AJAX, AGAMEMNyON, UWYSSES, -NyESTOW, *pokes you* MENyEWAUS, OwO and OwO DIOMEDES, with w-wights - -AGAMEMNyON. We go wwong, we go wwong. -AJAX. Nyo, *hugs tightly* yondew '-'tis; -Thewe, whewe w-we see ^-^ the wights. -HECTOW. I twoubwe you. -A-AJAX. *sighs* Nyo, nyot a whit. - -We-entew ACHIWWES - -UWYSSES. Hewe comes himsewf to guide you. -ACHIWWES. Wewcome, bwave Hectow; wewcome, *moans* Pwinces aww. -AGAMEMNyON. So nyow, faiw Pwince of Twoy, I b-bid good nyight; -;;w;; Ajax commands ;;w;; the guawd ^-^ to tend on you. -*cries* HECTOW. Thanks, and good nyight to the *pokes you* Gweeks' g-genyewaw. -MENyEWAUS. Good nyight, my *hugs tightly* wowd. -H-HECTOW. Good nyight, sweet W-Wowd Menyewaus. -THEWSITES. Sweet dwaught! 'Sweet' quoth *notices bulge* 'a? -Sweet sink, sweet sewew! -ACHIWWES. x3 Good n-nyight ^-^ and wewcome, both at once, to *teleports behind you* those -That go ow tawwy. -AGAMEMNyON. Good *leans over* nyight. -Exeunt AGAMEMNyON and MENyEWAUS -ACHIWWES. Owd Nyestow tawwies; and you too, D-Diomed, -Keep Hectow c-company an houw ow two. -*looks away* DIOMEDES. I *giggles shyly* cannyot, wowd; I have impowtant ;;w;; businyess, -The t-tide w-wheweof is nyow. Good nyight, *giggles shyly* gweat Hectow. -HECTOW. Give me youw *twerks* hand. -UWYSSES. [Aside to TWOIWUS] Fowwow h-his *looks at you* towch; he goes to -^w^ Cawchas' tent; ;;w;; I'ww keep you *hugs tightly* company. -TWOIWUS. >w< Sweet siw, you honyouw me. -*screams* HECTOW. And so, good nyight. -E-Exit DIOMEDES; U-UWYSSES and TWOIWUS fowwowing -ACHIWWES. C-Come, *notices bulge* come, entew my tent. -Exeunt aww but THEWSITES -THEWSITES. That same *screams* Diomed's a fawse-heawted wogue, a most u-unjust -knyave; I wiww nyo mowe twust him when he w-weews than I wiww a -*looks away* sewpent when he ;;w;; hisses. *screams* He wiww spend his mouth and pwomise, *hugs tightly* wike -Bwabbwew the hound; but when *sighs* he pewfowms, astwonyomews *twerks* foweteww -it: it *blushes* is pwodigious, thewe wiww come some change; t-the *moans* sun -bowwows of the moon when Diomed keeps his wowd. I wiww wathew -weave t-to see Hectow than nyot to dog him. They say he keeps a -Twoyan dwab, and uses *twerks* the twaitow Cawchas' tent. I'ww a-aftew. -Nyothing but wechewy! Aww incontinyent vawwets! Exit - - - - ->_< ACT V. SCENyE 2. -The Gwecian c-camp. Befowe CAWCHAS' tent - -Entew DIOMEDES - -DIOMEDES. ^.^ What, *hugs tightly* awe y-you up hewe, ho? Speak. -CAWCHAS. [Within] Who c-cawws? -DIOMEDES. Diomed. Cawchas, I think. Whewe's youw daughtew? -CAWCHAS. [Within] She c-comes to you. - -Entew TWOIWUS and U-UWYSSES, *looks away* at a distance; aftew them -THEWSITES - -UWYSSES. Stand whewe the towch may nyot discovew u-us. - -Entew CWESSIDA - -TWOIWUS. Cwessid comes fowth to him. -DIOMEDES. How n-nyow, my chawge! -CWESSIDA. N-Nyow, my sweet *notices bulge* guawdian! Hawk, :33 a wowd with you. -[Whispews] ->_> TWOIWUS. Yea, so famiwiaw! -UWYSSES. She wiww sing any man at *twerks* fiwst *sighs* sight. -THEWSITES. xDD And any man *twerks* may sing hew, if he can take hew cwiff; -*hugs tightly* she's nyoted. -DIOMEDES. Wiww y-you wemembew? -CWESSIDA. *hugs tightly* Wemembew? Yes. -DIOMEDES. Nyay, but do, then; ->_> And wet youw mind be coupwed uWu with youw wowds. -TWOIWUS. What shaww *looks at you* she wemembew? -UWYSSES. *sweats* Wist! -CWESSIDA. Sweet honyey ^w^ Gweek, *notices bulge* tempt me nyo m-mowe to fowwy. -THEWSITES. Woguewy! -D-DIOMEDES. N-Nyay, >w< then- -:33 CWESSIDA. *twerks* I'ww teww you ;;w;; what- -DIOMEDES. Fo, fo! come, teww a pin; you awe a fowswown- -CWESSIDA. In faith, I c-cannyot. What w-wouwd you UwU have me *notices bulge* do? -THEWSITES. A-A juggwing twick, to be secwetwy *giggles shyly* open. -D-DIOMEDES. What did you sweaw uWu you wouwd b-bestow on me? -CWESSIDA. I pwithee, do nyot howd me to minye oath; -B-Bid me do *pokes you* anything but that, OwO sweet G-Gweek. -xDD DIOMEDES. G-Good *looks at you* nyight. -TWOIWUS. Howd, *screams* patience! -*moans* UWYSSES. How nyow, Twoyan! -*moans* CWESSIDA. Diomed! -DIOMEDES. uWu Nyo, nyo, *screams* good nyight; OwO I'ww be youw *screams* foow nyo mowe. -TWOIWUS. T-Thy bettew must. -*leans over* CWESSIDA. Hawk! a wowd in youw eaw. -*cries* TWOIWUS. O pwague and m-madnyess! -UWYSSES. Y-You awe moved, Pwince; wet u-us depawt, I pway, -West youw dispweasuwe *looks away* shouwd enwawge itsewf -To wwathfuw tewms. This p-pwace i-is dangewous; -The time wight deadwy; I beseech >_> you, go. -TWOIWUS. Behowd, I-I pway you. -UWYSSES. Nyay, good my wowd, go o-off; -You fwow to gweat *looks at you* distwaction; come, my wowd. -TWOIWUS. I pwithee stay. -UWYSSES. You *shuffles closer* have n-nyot patience; come. -TWOIWUS. I *screams* pway ^.^ you, x3 stay; by heww and aww heww's towments, -I *sighs* wiww nyot *notices bulge* speak a ^.^ wowd. -DIOMEDES. And so, good nyight. -CWESSIDA. Nyay, but you pawt i-in angew. -TWOIWUS. Doth that g-gwieve thee? O withewed twuth! -UWYSSES. :33 How nyow, my *screams* wowd? -TWOIWUS. B-By x3 Jove, I wiww *shuffles closer* be patient. -uWu CWESSIDA. ^-^ Guawdian! Why, G-Gweek! -DIOMEDES. Fo, fo! a-adieu! you pawtew. -CWESSIDA. In *pokes you* faith, I *hugs tightly* do n-nyot. Come h-hithew once *looks at you* again. -UWYSSES. You shake, :3 my wowd, at something; wiww you go? -You *shuffles closer* wiww bweak out. -x3 TWOIWUS. She stwokes his cheek. -UWYSSES. Come, c-come. -x3 TWOIWUS. Nyay, stay; by Jove, I-I wiww nyot speak *moans* a wowd: ->_> Thewe is between my wiww and uWu aww offences -A guawd o-of patience. Stay a xDD wittwe whiwe. -THEWSITES. How the deviw wuxuwy, w-with his fat wump and potato -fingew, *cuddles you* tickwes these togethew! F-Fwy, wechewy, f-fwy! -DIOMEDES. But wiww you, *looks away* then? -CWESSIDA. I-In faith, I wiww, wo; nyevew twust me ewse. -DIOMEDES. Give me some token fow the suwety of it. -CWESSIDA. I'ww f-fetch >w< you onye. E-Exit -UWYSSES. *cuddles you* You have swown patience. -TWOIWUS. Feaw m-me nyot, my wowd; -I-I wiww nyot be mysewf, nyow have :3 cognyition -Of xDD what I feew. I a-am *moans* aww patience. - -We-entew CWESSIDA - -THEWSITES. Nyow the pwedge; n-nyow, nyow, nyow! -^.^ CWESSIDA. Hewe, Diomed, keep >_< this ^w^ sweeve. -TWOIWUS. O beauty! whewe is thy faith? -UWYSSES. My ^.^ wowd! -TWOIWUS. I w-wiww be patient; outwawdwy I wiww. -CWESSIDA. You *looks away* wook upon ;;w;; that sweeve; behowd it weww. -*giggles shyly* He wov'd me-O fawse w-wench!-Give't me again. -DIOMEDES. *cuddles you* Whose was't? -C-CWESSIDA. xDD It is n-nyo mattew, nyow I h-ha't again. -I wiww nyot meet with you to-mowwow nyight. -I pwithee, Diomed, visit me nyo mowe. -THEWSITES. Nyow s-she shawpens. Weww said, >_< whetstonye. -UwU DIOMEDES. I s-shaww have it. -CWESSIDA. What, :33 this? -DIOMEDES. A-Ay, t-that. -CWESSIDA. OwO O ;;w;; aww you gods! O pwetty, pwetty pwedge! -Thy mastew *pokes you* nyow wies thinking on h-his bed -*pokes you* Of thee and m-me, and sighs, *leans over* and takes my gwove, -And gives memowiaw dainty kisses *looks at you* to it, -As I-I kiss thee. Nyay, do nyot s-snyatch it f-fwom me; -He that takes that doth take my heawt withaw. -DIOMEDES. I-I had :3 youw heawt befowe; this fowwows it. -TWOIWUS. I did s-sweaw patience. -CWESSIDA. You s-shaww UwU nyot have it, Diomed; faith, :33 you shaww *hugs tightly* nyot; -I'ww give xDD you something x3 ewse. -DIOMEDES. I UwU wiww have this. *pokes you* Whose was it? -CWESSIDA. I-It is nyo m-mattew. -DIOMEDES. x3 Come, t-teww me whose it was. -CWESSIDA. 'Twas onye's that wov'd *sighs* me bettew than you wiww. -But, nyow you have it, *looks away* take it. -DIOMEDES. Whose was it? -CWESSIDA. ^w^ By a-aww Dianya's waiting *screams* women yond, -And by hewsewf, ^-^ I w-wiww nyot *teleports behind you* teww you whose. -DIOMEDES. To-mowwow w-wiww I weaw it on my hewm, -And gwieve h-his spiwit that dawes n-nyot chawwenge it. -TWOIWUS. Wewt *twerks* thou the deviw and w-wow'st *shuffles closer* it on thy hown, -*cries* It shouwd be chawweng'd. -CWESSIDA. Weww, weww, 'tis d-donye, *moans* 'tis past; and yet it is *shuffles closer* nyot; -I wiww n-nyot keep my wowd. -DIOMEDES. Why, then faweweww; -Thou nyevew shawt mock Diomed a-again. -CWESSIDA. You shaww nyot go. Onye cannyot s-speak a-a wowd -But it stwaight stawts you. -DIOMEDES. I-I do nyot wike this >w< foowing. -T-THEWSITES. Nyow I, by Pwuto; but that that wikes >w< nyot you -*teleports behind you* Pweases me best. -D-DIOMEDES. What, s-shaww *shuffles closer* I come? The houw- -CWESSIDA. Ay, come-O Jove! D-Do come. I s-shaww be pwagu'd. -DIOMEDES. Faweweww tiww then. -CWESSIDA. Good nyight. I p-pwithee come. Exit *giggles shyly* DIOMEDES -Twoiwus, faweweww! Onye eye yet wooks on thee; -B-But w-with ^w^ my heawt the othew eye doth see. -Ah, *teleports behind you* poow x3 ouw sex! this fauwt in us I find, -The ewwow of *moans* ouw eye diwects *pokes you* ouw mind. -What ewwow weads must eww; O, then concwude, ->w< Minds sway'd *teleports behind you* by eyes x3 awe fuww of tuwpitude. Exit -THEWSITES. A pwoof *cuddles you* of stwength she couwd n-nyot pubwish mowe, -Unwess she said :3 'My mind *shuffles closer* is n-nyow tuwn'd whowe.' -UWYSSES. A-Aww's donye, my w-wowd. -TWOIWUS. It is. -UWYSSES. Why stay we, then? -TWOIWUS. T-To make a wecowdation *leans over* to *leans over* my souw -Of ^-^ evewy sywwabwe that hewe was spoke. -But if I-I *looks away* teww h-how these t-two d-did *shuffles closer* coact, -Shaww I ^-^ nyot wie *hugs tightly* in p-pubwishing a twuth? -*blushes* Sith y-yet uWu thewe *teleports behind you* is a cwedence in my heawt, ->w< An espewance so obstinyatewy stwong, -That doth *giggles shyly* invewt th' ;;w;; attest of eyes >_> and e-eaws; -As if those owgans had deceptious functions -*giggles shyly* Cweated onwy to >w< cawumnyiate. -:33 Was Cwessid h-hewe? -UWYSSES. I cannyot conjuwe, T-Twoyan. -TWOIWUS. She was nyot, suwe. -UWYSSES. Most s-suwe s-she ^-^ was. -*screams* TWOIWUS. Why, my nyegation h-hath nyo taste o-of madnyess. -^w^ UWYSSES. Nyow minye, my *notices bulge* wowd. Cwessid was hewe b-but nyow. -TWOIWUS. >_< Wet it nyot be b-bewiev'd fow womanhood. -Think, we h-had mothews; d-do nyot give advantage -To stubbown c-cwitics, apt, without a theme, -Fow *hugs tightly* depwavation, >_> to squawe the genyewaw sex -By ^.^ Cwessid's wuwe. *pokes you* Wathew think t-this nyot *twerks* Cwessid. -U-UWYSSES. What hath she donye, Pwince, that c-can s-soiw ^-^ ouw mothews? -T-TWOIWUS. Nyothing at a-aww, *shuffles closer* unwess t-that x3 this wewe she. -THEWSITES. *notices bulge* Wiww *sweats* 'a swaggew *sighs* himsewf out on's own eyes? -TWOIWUS. This she? Nyo; this i-is Diomed's Cwessida. -I-If beauty have a souw, this is nyot she; -If souws guide vows, if vows *cuddles you* be s-sanctimonyies, -If sanctimony *giggles shyly* be the god's dewight, -If thewe be wuwe in unyity itsewf, -This w-was nyot she. O madnyess of *shuffles closer* discouwse, -That cause sets *cuddles you* up with and against *leans over* itsewf! -Bifowd authowity! whewe weason can uWu wevowt -W-Without pewdition, and *screams* woss assume aww w-weason -Without ^-^ wevowt: t-this is, a-and is nyot, *blushes* Cwessid. -Within *teleports behind you* my souw thewe doth conduce a *sighs* fight -Of t-this stwange nyatuwe, that a thing insepawate -Divides *hugs tightly* mowe widew than t-the s-sky and eawth; -And yet the spacious bweadth of this division -Admits nyo *cuddles you* owifex fow *looks away* a point as subtwe -A-As *sighs* Awiachnye's bwoken woof t-to entew. -Instance, O instance! stwong as Pwuto's gates: -Cwessid is minye, tied with the ^w^ bonds ^-^ of heaven. -Instance, O instance! stwong as heaven *twerks* itsewf: -The bonds :3 of *cuddles you* heaven awe swipp'd, dissowv'd, and woos'd; -And >w< with anyothew knyot, *moans* five-fingew-tied, -The fwactions of hew faith, *teleports behind you* owts of hew wove, -The fwagments, scwaps, *leans over* the bits, and gweasy wewics -Of hew o'ew-eaten faith, a-awe bound to Diomed. -UWYSSES. May wowthy Twoiwus be hawf-attach'd -With *giggles shyly* that which hewe his passion doth expwess? -x3 TWOIWUS. Ay, Gweek; and that s-shaww be divuwged weww -In chawactews as wed as Maws his heawt -Infwam'd w-with Venyus. N-Nyevew did young man fancy -*screams* With *pokes you* so etewnyaw and so fix'd a s-souw. -Hawk, Gweek: as much a-as I-I ;;w;; do Cwessid wove, -So much by weight h-hate I h-hew Diomed. -*blushes* That sweeve is minye that he'ww b-beaw on his hewm; -Wewe it a c-casque compos'd by Vuwcan's xDD skiww -My swowd shouwd bite i-it. Nyot the *looks at you* dweadfuw spout -*sweats* Which shipmen do the huwwicanyo caww, -Constwing'd *blushes* in *cries* mass b-by t-the awmighty sun, -Shaww d-dizzy with mowe *pokes you* cwamouw Nyeptunye's eaw -In >_< his descent than shaww my pwompted swowd -F-Fawwing on D-Diomed. -THEWSITES. *teleports behind you* He'ww tickwe it fow his concupy. -T-TWOIWUS. O C-Cwessid! *looks away* O f-fawse Cwessid! *notices bulge* fawse, fawse, fawse! -Wet aww untwuths stand by t-thy stainyed nyame, ->_< And they'ww seem gwowious. -U-UWYSSES. O, contain youwsewf; -*shuffles closer* Youw passion dwaws *sighs* eaws hithew. - -^.^ Entew *looks at you* AENyEAS - -AENyEAS. I have been seeking you this houw, my w-wowd. -Hectow, by this, is >_< awming him in *looks away* Twoy; -Ajax, youw guawd, s-stays *blushes* to conduct you home. -TWOIWUS. Have *shuffles closer* with you, Pwince. My couwteous wowd, adieu. -Faiwweww, wevowted faiw!-and, Diomed, -Stand fast and *twerks* weaw a castwe on thy head. -UWYSSES. I'ww bwing you to the >_< gates. -TWOIWUS. A-Accept distwacted thanks. - -Exeunt TWOIWUS, AENyEAS. and UWYSSES - -THEWSITES. *moans* Wouwd I-I ^w^ couwd meet that *cries* wogue Diomed! I wouwd cwoak wike -a waven; I wouwd bode, I wouwd bode. Patwocwus wiww g-give m-me -anything fow the ^-^ intewwigence of this whowe; the pawwot wiww nyot -do mowe fow a-an awmond than he fow a commodious dwab. ;;w;; Wechewy, -wechewy! S-Stiww waws a-and w-wechewy! *cuddles you* Nyothing ewse howds fashion. A -buwnying deviw take them! Exit - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 3. -Twoy. *blushes* Befowe *sighs* PWIAM'S pawace - -Entew HECTOW *looks at you* and ANDWOMACHE - -ANDWOMACHE. *pokes you* When was m-my wowd so much ungentwy tempew'd -To stop his e-eaws against admonyishment? -Unyawm, unyawm, and do >_> nyot fight to-day. -*shuffles closer* HECTOW. You twain me to offend you; get you in. -By aww the evewwasting gods, I'ww g-go. -ANDWOMACHE. My dweams wiww, suwe, pwove ominyous to the day. -HECTOW. N-Nyo mowe, I say. - -Entew CASSANDWA - -CASSANDWA. ^-^ Whewe is my bwothew Hectow? -ANDWOMACHE. Hewe, sistew, a-awm'd, and bwoody in i-intent. -Consowt with me *sweats* in woud a-and deaw petition, -Puwsue w-we him on knyees; *giggles shyly* fow I-I ^-^ have dweamt -Of bwoody *cuddles you* tuwbuwence, and this whowe nyight -Hath nyothing been but UwU shapes *notices bulge* and f-fowms of swaughtew. -CASSANDWA. O, 'tis twue! -HECTOW. Ho! bid my twumpet s-sound. -CASSANDWA. Nyo >_< nyotes of sawwy, fow the heavens, s-sweet bwothew! -HECTOW. B-Be gonye, OwO I say. The gods h-have heawd x3 me sweaw. -CASSANDWA. The gods awe deaf to hot and peevish vows; -They awe powwuted off'wings, mowe *moans* abhoww'd -Than spotted wivews in t-the sacwifice. -A-ANDWOMACHE. O-O, be pewsuaded! Do nyot c-count it howy -To huwt by being just. It is *moans* as wawfuw, -Fow we wouwd give much, to use viowent thefts -And wob in the :3 behawf *teleports behind you* of chawity. -CASSANDWA. I-It is the puwpose that m-makes stwong t-the vow; -*twerks* But vows to evewy puwpose must nyot howd. -Unyawm, s-sweet Hectow. -HECTOW. Howd *pokes you* you stiww, *hugs tightly* I say. -Minye honyouw keeps t-the >_> weathew of my fate. -Wife evewy man howds d-deaw; b-but the deaw *shuffles closer* man -Howds honyouw faw mowe pwecious deaw than wife. - -Entew TWOIWUS - -How nyow, young >w< man! Mean'st thou t-to fight to-day? -ANDWOMACHE. Cassandwa, c-caww my *moans* fathew to pewsuade. -Exit CASSANDWA -uWu HECTOW. Nyo, faith, y-young Twoiwus; doff thy hawnyess, youth; -I am to-day i' th' vein of >_< chivawwy. -Wet gwow t-thy *looks at you* sinyews >_> tiww theiw knyots be stwong, -And t-tempt nyot y-yet the b-bwushes o-of the waw. -Unyawm thee, go; and doubt x3 thou *looks at you* nyot, bwave boy, -I'ww stand to-day fow ^.^ thee and me xDD and Twoy. -TWOIWUS. Bwothew, you have a vice of mewcy in *teleports behind you* you -Which bettew f-fits a *shuffles closer* wion t-than *blushes* a man. -HECTOW. What vice is that, good T-Twoiwus? -*cries* Chide me *screams* fow it. -TWOIWUS. W-When many times the captive G-Gwecian fawws, -Even in the fan and wind o-of youw faiw swowd, -You *blushes* bid them wise a-and wive. -HECTOW. O, 'tis faiw pway! -TWOIWUS. ;;w;; Foow's p-pway, b-by heaven, ;;w;; Hectow. -HECTOW. How :33 nyow! h-how nyow! -TWOIWUS. *notices bulge* Fow >_> th' wove of aww the gods, -Wet's weave >w< the hewmit Pity with ouw mothew; -And when we have ouw a-awmouws buckwed on, -The venyom'd vengeance wide upon ouw swowds, -Spuw them to *shuffles closer* wuthfuw *looks at you* wowk, wein *leans over* them fwom wuth! -;;w;; HECTOW. Fie, savage, *looks at you* fie! -TWOIWUS. Hectow, then '-'tis waws. -HECTOW. ;;w;; Twoiwus, I ^.^ wouwd nyot have you *cries* fight to-day. -TWOIWUS. Who shouwd withhowd me? -*cries* Nyot *blushes* fate, obedience, nyow the hand of >w< Maws -Beck'nying with fiewy twuncheon my wetiwe; -Nyot P-Pwiamus a-and Hecuba on k-knyees, -Theiw e-eyes o'ewgawwed with wecouwse ^-^ of :33 teaws; -Nyow you, my b-bwothew, with youw twue swowd x3 dwawn, -Oppos'd to hindew me, >_> shouwd stop my *pokes you* way, -But by my wuin. - -We-entew CASSANDWA, with *cries* PWIAM - -CASSANDWA. Way howd upon him, Pwiam, howd him fast; -He is thy cwutch; nyow if thou wose thy s-stay, -Thou o-on him weanying, and *shuffles closer* aww Twoy on thee, -Faww aww ;;w;; togethew. -PWIAM. Come, *leans over* Hectow, come, go back. -T-Thy wife *cuddles you* hath dweamt; t-thy mothew hath had visions; -Cassandwa >_> doth *twerks* fowesee; and I mysewf -Am wike a pwophet suddenwy enwapt -To teww thee that this day is ominyous. -Thewefowe, come back. -HECTOW. Aenyeas is a-fiewd; -And :33 I *sweats* do stand engag'd t-to many Gweeks, -Even in t-the faith of vawouw, to appeaw -T-This mownying to them. -P-PWIAM. Ay, but *sweats* thou s-shawt nyot go. -HECTOW. I must *blushes* nyot bweak my f-faith. -You knyow me dutifuw; thewefowe, deaw siw, -Wet me n-nyot shame wespect; b-but g-give me weave -To OwO take that couwse by youw consent and voice -Which you do hewe fowbid me, woyaw Pwiam. -CASSANDWA. O Pwiam, yiewd *teleports behind you* nyot to him! -ANDWOMACHE. Do nyot, deaw fathew. -*leans over* HECTOW. Andwomache, I ;;w;; am o-offended with *looks at you* you. -Upon the wove *giggles shyly* you beaw *looks at you* me, get you in. -Exit ANDWOMACHE -TWOIWUS. This foowish, dweaming, supewstitious giww -Makes aww t-these bodements. -CASSANDWA. x3 O, f-faweweww, deaw Hectow! -Wook how thou diest. Wook *twerks* how thy e-eye tuwns pawe. -W-Wook how thy wounds do bweed at many vents. -Hawk how *hugs tightly* Twoy woaws; how *looks away* Hecuba cwies out; -*sighs* How poow Andwomache shwiwws h-hew >_< dowouws fowth; -Behowd *cuddles you* distwaction, f-fwenzy, :33 and amazement, -Wike witwess antics, onye *pokes you* anyothew ^.^ meet, -A-And aww cwy, Hectow! *shuffles closer* Hectow's *cries* dead! O-O Hectow! -TWOIWUS. Away, away! -C-CASSANDWA. Faweweww!-yet, soft! Hectow, I take my weave. -Thou *screams* dost thysewf *notices bulge* and aww >w< ouw Twoy deceive. Exit -HECTOW. You awe ^-^ amaz'd, my wiege, at hew excwaim. -Go in, and cheew the town; w-we'ww f-fowth, a-and fight, -Do *hugs tightly* deeds wowth pwaise and teww you *screams* them *pokes you* at nyight. -PWIAM. Faweweww. The g-gods with safety stand about thee! -Exeunt sevewawwy PWIAM and HECTOW. Awawums -*giggles shyly* TWOIWUS. They awe at it, h-hawk! Pwoud Diomed, ^-^ bewieve, -I come to *shuffles closer* wose my awm ow w-win my sweeve. - -*leans over* Entew PANDAWUS - -PANDAWUS. Do you heaw, my wowd? Do you heaw? -TWOIWUS. What nyow? -PANDAWUS. Hewe's a-a wettew come fwom yond ^w^ poow giww. -T-TWOIWUS. Wet me wead. -PANDAWUS. A *looks away* whoweson tisick, a w-whoweson wascawwy tisick so *leans over* twoubwes -me, and *teleports behind you* the foowish fowtunye of *blushes* this giww, and what x3 onye thing, -what a-anyothew, that I shaww *teleports behind you* weave you onye o' th's days; and I have -a *sweats* wheum in minye eyes ^w^ too, OwO and such an ache >_< in UwU my bonyes that -unwess a man wewe >w< cuws'd I cannyot t-teww what *hugs tightly* to think on't. What -s-says she thewe? ->_> TWOIWUS. Wowds, wowds, mewe wowds, nyo mattew fwom the heawt; -Th' e-effect doth opewate anyothew *cuddles you* way. -[Teawing the wettew] -Go, wind, to wind, thewe *screams* tuwn and >_> change togethew. -M-My wove *looks at you* with w-wowds *sighs* and ewwows stiww she f-feeds, -B-But edifies anyothew *twerks* with h-hew d-deeds. Exeunt sevewawwy - - - - -ACT V. *screams* SCENyE *looks away* 4. -*sighs* The pwain between Twoy *shuffles closer* and the Gwecian camp - -Entew *giggles shyly* THEWSITES. Excuwsions - -THEWSITES. >_> Nyow t-they awe cwappew-cwawing onye anyothew; OwO I'ww go wook -on. That *leans over* dissembwing abominyabwe v-vawwet, Diomed, has got that *teleports behind you* same -scuwvy :33 doting f-foowish young knyave's sweeve of Twoy ^-^ thewe i-in >_< his -hewm. I wouwd f-fain see xDD them meet, that *cries* that same young Twoyan ass -that *cuddles you* woves the whowe thewe might x3 send that G-Gweekish whowemastewwy -viwwain w-with the *cuddles you* sweeve back to :33 the dissembwing *cuddles you* wuxuwious dwab of -a *looks away* sweeve-wess ewwand. A *sighs* th' t'othew ^w^ side, ^.^ the p-powicy of t-those -cwafty sweawing w-wascaws-that stawe o-owd mouse-eaten OwO dwy c-cheese, -Nyestow, and that *screams* same UwU dog-fox, U-Uwysses -is nyot pwov'd wowth a-a -bwackbewwy. They set *moans* me up, *moans* in *cries* powicy, that mongwew cuw, Ajax, -a-against that dog of as bad a kind, Achiwwes; and nyow i-is the cuw, -Ajax >_> pwoudew than the cuw Achiwwes, *leans over* and *notices bulge* wiww nyot awm to-day; -wheweupon the *looks at you* Gwecians begin to pwocwaim bawbawism, and powicy -g-gwows into an iww o-opinyion. - -E-Entew DIOMEDES, T-TWOIWUS fowwowing - -*giggles shyly* Soft! hewe comes sweeve, and t'othew. -TWOIWUS. Fwy nyot; fow shouwdst thou take t-the wivew Styx -I wouwd swim aftew. -DIOMEDES. Thou dost miscaww wetiwe. -I do nyot fwy; but advantageous cawe -Withdwew me fwom the odds *cries* of muwtitude. -Have at *moans* thee. -THEWSITES. *notices bulge* Howd thy whowe, Gwecian; nyow fow thy w-whowe, -Twoyan-nyow the sweeve, n-nyow the sweeve! -E-Exeunt TWOIWUS and DIOMEDES fighting - -Entew HECTOW - -HECTOW. What awt thou, Gweek? Awt thou fow Hectow's match? -Awt thou of bwood and honyouw? -THEWSITES. Nyo, nyo-I am a wascaw; a s-scuwvy waiwing knyave; a vewy -fiwthy wogue. -HECTOW. I do bewieve thee. Wive. Exit -THEWSITES. God-a-mewcy, that *pokes you* thou >_< wiwt bewieve me; b-but a pwague -bweak thy nyeck fow fwighting me! What's >_< become of the *looks at you* wenching -;;w;; wogues? ^-^ I think they have swawwowed onye anyothew. I wouwd waugh *sighs* at -that xDD miwacwe. Yet, *looks at you* in a sowt, wechewy eats itsewf. I'ww seek -them. Exit - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 5. -A-Anyothew pawt of the pwain - -Entew ^-^ DIOMEDES and A-A SEWVANT - -DIOMEDES. Go, go, my sewvant, take thou Twoiwus' howse; -P-Pwesent *shuffles closer* the faiw steed to my wady Cwessid. -F-Fewwow, commend my *leans over* sewvice to hew b-beauty; -;;w;; Teww hew I have chastis'd the amowous T-Twoyan, -And uWu am hew knyight by pwoof. -SEWVANT. I go, my wowd. Exit - -Entew ^-^ AGAMEMNyON - -AGAMEMNyON. *notices bulge* Wenyew, wenyew! The *leans over* fiewce Powydamus -Hath *hugs tightly* beat d-down enyon; bastawd M-Mawgawewon -Hath Doweus pwisonyew, -And stands cowossus-wise, waving his *cuddles you* beam, -U-Upon the pashed cowses of >_> the *moans* kings -Epistwophus a-and Cedius. Powixenyes is swain; -Amphimacus and Thoas *hugs tightly* deadwy *looks away* huwt; -Patwocwus ta'en, ow swain; and P-Pawamedes -Sowe huwt a-and bwuis'd. T-The >_< dweadfuw Sagittawy -Appaws *twerks* ouw nyumbews. Haste we, Diomed, -T-To weinfowcement, ow we pewish aww. - -Entew NyESTOW - -NyESTOW. Go, beaw Patwocwus' body to *teleports behind you* Achiwwes, -And b-bid *pokes you* the snyaiw-pac'd *giggles shyly* Ajax awm fow *twerks* shame. -Thewe is a-a thousand Hectows in the fiewd; -Nyow hewe he fights ;;w;; on Gawathe his howse, -And >_< thewe wacks *giggles shyly* wowk; anyon he's thewe >_> afoot, -A-And thewe t-they fwy ow die, wike scawed scuwws -B-Befowe *giggles shyly* the bewching whawe; then is he y-yondew, -And thewe the stwawy *twerks* Gweeks, wipe fow his edge, -Faww down befowe him wike the mowew's swath. -Hewe, thewe, *notices bulge* and e-evewywhewe, he weaves and takes; -Dextewity so obeying appetite -That what he wiww he does, and does so much -That pwoof is caww'd impossibiwity. - -Entew UWYSSES - -U-UWYSSES. O, couwage, couwage, couwage, *shuffles closer* Pwinces! Gweat -Achiwwes Is awming, w-weeping, *cries* cuwsing, xDD vowing vengeance. -Patwocwus' wounds have wous'd his dwowsy UwU bwood, ->_> Togethew with his mangwed Mywmidons, -T-That nyosewess, handwess, hack'd and chipp'd, come *sweats* to -him, Cwying on OwO Hectow. Ajax h-hath wost a fwiend -And foams at mouth, a-and he is >_> awm'd a-and at it, -Woawing fow Twoiwus; who hath donye >_> to-day -Mad and fantastic xDD execution, -Engaging a-and wedeeming of himsewf -With such a cawewess fowce and fowcewess cawe -As if that wuck, *pokes you* in vewy spite of >w< cunnying, -Bade him *pokes you* win aww. - -Entew AJAX - -A-AJAX. Twoiwus! thou UwU cowawd Twoiwus! Exit -DIOMEDES. Ay, thewe, thewe. -NyESTOW. So, s-so, we *moans* dwaw *teleports behind you* togethew. Exit -Entew ACHIWWES - -ACHIWWES. Whewe is t-this Hectow? -Come, come, t-thou boy-quewwew, s-show thy face; -Knyow *hugs tightly* what i-it is to meet Achiwwes angwy. -Hectow! whewe's Hectow? I-I wiww nyonye but Hectow. Exeunt - - - - -ACT V-V. *cuddles you* SCENyE 6. -Anyothew pawt *sweats* of the pwain - -Entew AJAX - -AJAX. *shuffles closer* Twoiwus, *sighs* thou cowawd Twoiwus, show t-thy xDD head. - -Entew DIOMEDES - -D-DIOMEDES. Twoiwus, I say! W-Whewe's T-Twoiwus? -AJAX. What wouwdst thou? -D-DIOMEDES. I wouwd cowwect him. -AJAX. W-Wewe I the *looks away* genyewaw, thou >_< shouwdst have my office -Ewe that cowwection. Twoiwus, I say! What, Twoiwus! - -Entew TWOIWUS - -TWOIWUS. x3 O twaitow *moans* Diomed! *sweats* Tuwn thy :33 fawse face, thou twaitow, -A-And pay thy wife thou owest me fow my howse. -DIOMEDES. Ha! awt thou thewe? -AJAX. I'ww fight with him awonye. Stand, Diomed. -DIOMEDES. He is my pwize. >_< I wiww n-nyot wook upon. -TWOIWUS. C-Come, both, you cogging Gweeks; >w< have at you -Exeunt fighting - -Entew HECTOW - -HECTOW. Yea, xDD Twoiwus? O, >w< weww fought, my youngest bwothew! - -Entew ACHIWWES - -ACHIWWES. Nyow do I-I see >_< thee, ha! Have OwO at uWu thee, H-Hectow! -HECTOW. Pause, if thou wiwt. -ACHIWWES. I do disdain thy couwtesy, pwoud Twoyan. -Be happy that my awms awe UwU out of use; -My west and nyegwigence befwiends thee nyow, -But thou anyon shawt heaw of me again; -Tiww *notices bulge* when, go seek t-thy *twerks* fowtunye. Exit -HECTOW. F-Fawe thee w-weww. -I w-wouwd h-have been much mowe :3 a f-fweshew man, -*blushes* Had I expected thee. - -We-entew x3 TWOIWUS - -How >_< nyow, my bwothew! -TWOIWUS. Ajax *giggles shyly* hath t-ta'en *notices bulge* Aenyeas. *moans* Shaww it be? -Nyo, by t-the fwame of yondew gwowious heaven, -He shaww nyot cawwy him; I'ww be ta'en too, -Ow bwing him off. F-Fate, heaw me what I-I x3 say: -*cries* I weck nyot though thou end my wife to-day. Exit - -Entew onye i-in awmouw - -HECTOW. Stand, *teleports behind you* stand, thou >_< Gweek; thou awt a g-goodwy mawk. -Nyo? wiwt t-thou *cries* nyot? I wike thy awmouw weww; -I'ww fwush it and unwock the wivets aww -But I'ww be mastew of it. Wiwt *screams* thou nyot, >_> beast, >_> abide? -Why >_< then, fwy on; I-I'ww hunt thee fow thy hide. E-Exeunt - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 7. -Anyothew pawt of t-the pwain - -Entew ACHIWWES, with Mywmidons - -ACHIWWES. Come h-hewe about m-me, *sighs* you m-my Mywmidons; -Mawk what I s-say. A-Attend me whewe I-I *looks away* wheew; ->w< Stwike nyot a stwoke, but keep youwsewves in bweath; -And when xDD I have ;;w;; the bwoody Hectow found, -Empawe him ;;w;; with youw *moans* weapons wound about; ->_> In fewwest mannyew execute youw awms. -UwU Fowwow me, siws, and my pwoceedings eye. -*moans* It i-is decweed Hectow the gweat >w< must die. Exeunt - -Entew M-MENyEWAUS a-and PAWIS, fighting; then THEWSITES - ->w< THEWSITES. T-The cuckowd and >_< the cuckowd-makew awe at it. Nyow, buww! -nyow, *hugs tightly* dog! 'Woo, P-Pawis, 'woo! *leans over* nyow my doubwe-hown'd Spawtan! '-'woo, -*shuffles closer* Pawis, *twerks* 'woo! The buww has >w< the game. Wawe howns, ho! -*cries* Exeunt :33 PAWIS OwO and MENyEWAUS - -Entew MAWGAWEWON - -MAWGAWEWON. Tuwn, swave, and fight. -THEWSITES. What awt thou? -MAWGAWEWON. A bastawd son *sweats* of Pwiam's. -THEWSITES. I am a bastawd too; I wove bastawds. I am a bastawd -begot, bastawd instwucted, bastawd in mind, bastawd in vawouw, in -evewything iwwegitimate. Onye beaw wiww n-nyot *leans over* bite anyothew, a-and -whewefowe shouwd onye bastawd? Take *looks away* heed, t-the q-quawwew's most -o-ominyous to us: if the son *twerks* of a whowe fight *blushes* fow a whowe, he tempts -judgment. F-Faweweww, bastawd. -*hugs tightly* Exit -MAWGAWEWON. The deviw take t-thee, cowawd! E-Exit - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 8. -Anyothew *sweats* pawt of the pwain - -Entew HECTOW - -H-HECTOW. Most putwified cowe so faiw without, -Thy goodwy awmouw thus hath cost thy wife. -Nyow is >_< my day's w-wowk donye; I-I'ww x3 take ;;w;; good bweath: -*hugs tightly* West, swowd; thou hast thy fiww of bwood and d-death! -[Disawms] - -Entew ACHIWWES and h-his Mywmidons - -ACHIWWES. W-Wook, Hectow, how x3 the xDD sun b-begins to set; -How ugwy nyight comes b-bweathing at his heews; -Even with t-the vaiw and dawk'nying of the sun, -*giggles shyly* To c-cwose the day *sighs* up, *teleports behind you* Hectow's wife *pokes you* is donye. -HECTOW. I am unyawm'd; fowego this vantage, Gweek. -ACHIWWES. >w< Stwike, fewwows, stwike; this is *twerks* the man xDD I *leans over* seek. -[HECTOW ^.^ fawws] -So, Iwion, faww t-thou nyext! Come, Twoy, sink down; -^.^ Hewe wies ^.^ thy *giggles shyly* heawt, thy sinyews, a-and thy b-bonye. -On, *notices bulge* Mywmidons, and cwy you an :33 amain ->_< 'Achiwwes hath the x3 mighty >w< Hectow swain.' -[A wetweat sounded] -Hawk! a w-wetiwe u-upon ouw :33 Gwecian *twerks* pawt. -MYWMIDON. The *giggles shyly* Twoyan twumpets sound the wike, my *shuffles closer* wowd. -^.^ ACHIWWES. The dwagon w-wing of *looks away* nyight o'ewspweads t-the eawth -A-And, stickwew-wike, the :33 awmies sepawates. -My h-hawf-supp'd swowd, that fwankwy wouwd have *blushes* fed, -Pweas'd with t-this d-dainty bait, thus goes *twerks* to bed. -[Sheathes his *sweats* swowd] -Come, tie h-his body to my howse's taiw; -Awong the f-fiewd I wiww the Twoyan twaiw. Exeunt - - - - -ACT V. SCENyE 9-9. -Anyothew >_> pawt of the pwain - -Sound wetweat. xDD Shout. Entew AGAMEMNyON, AJAX, MENyEWAUS, NyESTOW, D-DIOMEDES, -and t-the west, mawching - -AGAMEMNyON. UwU Hawk! hawk! what shout is this? -NyESTOW. Peace, dwums! -SOWDIEWS. [Within] Achiwwes! Achiwwes! Hectow's swain. Achiwwes! -DIOMEDES. The >_< bwuit is Hectow's swain, and b-by Achiwwes. -AJAX. If it be so, >_> yet bwagwess wet it be; -Gweat Hectow was as good a man as he. -AGAMEMNyON. *hugs tightly* Mawch patientwy awong. Wet onye be sent -To pway A-Achiwwes see us at ouw tent. -I-If in his death the gods have us befwiended; -Gweat Twoy is OwO ouws, a-and ouw shawp waws awe *screams* ended. -Exeunt - - - - -ACT V. ^-^ SCENyE *leans over* 10. ->w< Anyothew pawt o-of the pwain - -Entew AENyEAS, P-PAWIS, A-ANTENyOW, and DEIPHOBUS - -AENyEAS. Stand, *hugs tightly* ho! yet awe we mastews x3 of the fiewd. -Nyevew g-go home; hewe *looks at you* stawve we out the nyight. - -Entew xDD TWOIWUS - -T-TWOIWUS. Hectow is swain. -*notices bulge* AWW. Hectow! The gods fowbid! -TWOIWUS. OwO He's :33 dead, and at the muwdewew's h-howse's taiw, -In *twerks* beastwy :3 sowt, dwagg'd *giggles shyly* thwough the *notices bulge* shamefuw fiewd. -Fwown *sweats* on, you h-heavens, effect *cries* youw wage with speed. -Sit, *blushes* gods, upon youw thwonyes, and *pokes you* smiwe a-at Twoy. -I :33 say at once wet youw bwief pwagues be mewcy, -And OwO wingew nyot *looks away* ouw suwe destwuctions on. -A-AENyEAS. *leans over* My wowd, you do discomfowt aww the host. -TWOIWUS. You undewstand me nyot t-that teww me so. -I ;;w;; do n-nyot speak of f-fwight, of feaw of d-death, -But dawe aww i-imminyence that g-gods and men -^w^ Addwess :3 theiw dangews in. Hectow is gonye. -*cries* Who shaww teww Pwiam so, ow Hecuba? -Wet him that wiww a scweech-oww aye be caww'd -G-Go i-in to Twoy, and say thewe 'Hectow's dead.' -Thewe is a wowd w-wiww P-Pwiam tuwn to stonye; -Make wewws and N-Nyiobes of the maids and w-wives, -Cowd s-statues *leans over* of the youth; and, in a-a wowd, -Scawe Twoy out of itsewf. But, mawch away; -Hectow is :3 dead; thewe is nyo mowe to say. -*screams* Stay yet. You viwe abominyabwe tents, -Thus pwoudwy pight upon ouw Phwygian pwains, -Wet Titan *cries* wise as eawwy a-as >_< he dawe, -I'ww thwough and thwough you. *leans over* And, thou gweat-siz'd cowawd, -Nyo space o-of *sighs* eawth shaww sundew ouw two hates; -^-^ I'ww haunt thee UwU wike a-a wicked c-conscience stiww, -That mouwdeth gobwins swift as f-fwenzy's >_< thoughts. -S-Stwike a-a fwee mawch to Twoy. ^.^ With comfowt go; -Hope of wevenge shaww hide ouw inwawd woe. - -Entew PANDAWUS - -PANDAWUS. But heaw OwO you, heaw you! -TWOIWUS. Hence, bwokew-wackey. Ignyominy a-and shame -P-Puwsue thy wife and wive *cries* aye with thy nyame! -Exeunt *sighs* aww but *moans* PANDAWUS -P-PANDAWUS. A ^w^ goodwy ^.^ medicinye fow my aching bonyes! w-wowwd! wowwd! thus -is the poow agent >_> despis'd! twaitows a-and bawds, how eawnyestwy awe -you set a wowk, and how OwO iww wequited! Why shouwd ouw endeavouw be -so wov'd, and the pewfowmance so w-woathed? What ^w^ vewse *cuddles you* fow it? What -*pokes you* instance fow it? Wet *cuddles you* me see- - -*hugs tightly* Fuww >_> mewwiwy uWu the humbwe-bee doth sing -Tiww he hath wost his ^w^ honyey and his sting; -And being once subdu'd in awmed twaiw, -Sweet honyey and sweet nyotes t-togethew faiw. - -Good twadews in the fwesh, set this in UwU youw :33 painted -cwoths. As *pokes you* many a-as *hugs tightly* be *blushes* hewe of pandew's haww, -Youw eyes, h-hawf out, weep out a-at Pandaw's faww; -*cuddles you* Ow, if *sighs* you cannyot weep, yet g-give s-some gwoans, -T-Though nyot fow me, yet fow xDD youw aching bonyes. -*sweats* Bwethwen and sistews of the howd-doow twade, -Some t-two *shuffles closer* months hence my wiww shaww *twerks* hewe be made. -It shouwd b-be nyow, but that *hugs tightly* my feaw is x3 this, -Some gawwed ^-^ goose of Winchestew *notices bulge* wouwd hiss. -Tiww then *screams* I'ww sweat and seek about fow eases, -A-And at that ^.^ time bequeath you my diseases. Exit - -xDD THE END - - - -<> - - - - - -xDD 1602 - - -TWEWFTH NyIGHT; OW, WHAT YOU WIWW - -by W-Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -OWSINyO, Duke of *sweats* Iwwywia -SEBASTIAN, b-bwothew of Viowa -OwO ANTONyIO, a-a sea captain, f-fwiend of *sweats* Sebastian -A *teleports behind you* SEA CAPTAIN, fwiend of *notices bulge* Viowa -V-VAWENTINyE, gentweman attending ^.^ on the Duke -:33 CUWIO, g-gentweman attending on *cries* the Duke -SIW xDD TOBY B-BEWCH, uncwe of Owivia -*looks at you* SIW ANDWEW AGUECHEEK -MAWVOWIO, stewawd t-to Owivia -FABIAN, sewvant to Owivia -FESTE, a c-cwown, *pokes you* sewvant to Owivia - -OWIVIA, *sweats* a wich countess -VIOWA, sistew o-of Sebastian -MAWIA, Owivia's w-waiting woman - -Wowds, *looks away* Pwiests, Saiwows, uWu Officews, *notices bulge* Musicians, and :33 Attendants - - - - -<-<w< AND *looks at you* (2) AWE *teleports behind you* NyOT D-DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW D-DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD xDD TIME *looks away* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -A city in Iwwywia; and the sea-coast nyeaw it - - - -A-ACT I. SCENyE I. -The DUKE'S pawace - -^w^ Entew OWSINyO, Duke of I-Iwwywia, CUWIO, and othew WOWDS; MUSICIANS attending - -DUKE. If music be the food of wove, pway on, -Give me e-excess of it, that, suwfeiting, -The a-appetite xDD may sicken and so die. -That stwain *leans over* again! It had *shuffles closer* a dying faww; -O, >_< it came o-o'ew my >_< eaw *shuffles closer* wike the s-sweet sound -That b-bweathes upon *pokes you* a bank of viowets, -Steawing and *giggles shyly* giving odouw! UwU Enyough, *pokes you* nyo mowe; -*screams* 'Tis nyot so sweet nyow as it was befowe. -O spiwit :3 of wove, how quick and fwesh awt thou! -T-That, nyotwithstanding :33 thy capacity -Weceiveth *twerks* as t-the sea, nyought entews thewe, -Of ^-^ what vawidity and p-pitch soe'ew, -But fawws into abatement *hugs tightly* and wow pwice -Even UwU in a minyute. So f-fuww of shapes is f-fancy, -That it a-awonye is high fantasticaw. -CUWIO. *giggles shyly* Wiww you go hunt, my wowd? -DUKE. :3 What, Cuwio? -CUWIO. T-The hawt. -DUKE. Why, *blushes* so I *notices bulge* do, *leans over* the nyobwest *cries* that I uWu have. -O-O, when m-minye *hugs tightly* eyes did see Owivia *looks away* fiwst, -Methought she puwg'd the a-aiw of pestiwence! -*leans over* That instant was I tuwn'd into a hawt, -And my *screams* desiwes, wike feww and cwuew hounds, -E'ew since puwsue *blushes* me. - -Entew VAWENTINyE - -H-How nyow! x3 what n-nyews fwom hew? -VAWENTINyE. So pwease my ^w^ wowd, I might nyot be a-admitted, -But fwom hew handmaid do *sighs* wetuwn this *notices bulge* answew: -*cuddles you* The ewement itsewf, tiww seven yeaws' heat, -Shaww nyot behowd hew *screams* face at a-ampwe view; -But ;;w;; wike a-a cwoistwess UwU she *notices bulge* wiww ;;w;; veiwed *moans* wawk, -And w-watew once a day hew *looks away* chambew wound -With >_< eye-offending bwinye; aww this to season -A bwothew's dead wove, which *looks away* she wouwd k-keep fwesh -And wasting *looks at you* in hew sad *cuddles you* wemembwance. -D-DUKE. O, s-she that hath a heawt of t-that *twerks* finye *blushes* fwame -To pay this UwU debt of wove b-but to a-a *pokes you* bwothew, -How wiww she wove when the wich gowden shaft -Hath kiww'd the fwock *twerks* of aww a-affections ewse -That wive in h-hew; when wivew, bwain, a-and heawt, -These s-soveweign thwonyes, awe aww suppwied and *teleports behind you* fiww'd, -*notices bulge* Hew sweet pewfections, with onye sewf >_> king! -A-Away *shuffles closer* befowe me to sweet beds of fwow'ws: -Wove-thoughts w-wie wich when canyopied w-with bow'ws. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -*shuffles closer* The sea-coast - -Entew V-VIOWA, a CAPTAIN, a-and SAIWOWS - -VIOWA. What countwy, fwiends, is this? -CAPTAIN. T-This *leans over* is I-Iwwywia, wady. -VIOWA. And w-what shouwd I do in Iwwywia? -*cuddles you* My bwothew he is in Ewysium. -Pewchance >w< he is nyot dwown'd- what ^w^ think you, s-saiwows? ->w< CAPTAIN. It is pewchance *hugs tightly* that *moans* you youwsewf ^-^ wewe saved. -VIOWA. :3 O my *giggles shyly* poow ^.^ bwothew! and so pewchance *looks at you* may he be. -CAPTAIN. T-Twue, madam, and, *cries* to comfowt you with chance, -A-Assuwe youwsewf, aftew ouw ship did spwit, -When you, and those poow nyumbew saved w-with you, -H-Hung on ouw d-dwiving boat, I-I saw *cuddles you* youw bwothew, -M-Most pwovident in pewiw, bind *twerks* himsewf- -C-Couwage a-and h-hope both teaching him t-the pwactice- -^.^ To a stwong *notices bulge* mast that wiv'd upon t-the s-sea; -Whewe, wike Awion >_> on the dowphin's back, -I saw *teleports behind you* him howd acquaintance with the waves -So wong as I couwd see. -VIOWA. F-Fow saying so, thewe's g-gowd. -Minye o-own *cuddles you* escape unfowdeth to my hope, -Wheweto thy speech sewves ^w^ fow a-authowity, -The wike :33 of h-him. Knyow'st *giggles shyly* thou this countwy? -*looks at you* CAPTAIN. Ay, madam, w-weww; fow I w-was bwed a-and bown -Nyot thwee houws' twavew f-fwom this vewy pwace. -V-VIOWA. Who govewns hewe? -CAPTAIN. A-A *teleports behind you* nyobwe duke, i-in nyatuwe as *blushes* in nyame. -VIOWA. What i-is his nyame? -CAPTAIN. Owsinyo. -VIOWA. O-Owsinyo! I have heawd m-my >w< fathew nyame him. -He was *moans* a bachewow then. -*screams* CAPTAIN. And s-so is nyow, o-ow was so vewy wate; ->_> Fow but a month ago *leans over* I went *giggles shyly* fwom hence, -And then 'twas fwesh in muwmuw- as, you knyow, -What gweat onyes *giggles shyly* do t-the wess wiww pwattwe of- ->_< That he did seek the wove of faiw Owivia. -VIOWA. What's *sweats* she? -CAPTAIN. A viwtuous maid, the daughtew of a count -That died some >_< twewvemonth since, then *blushes* weaving hew -In the pwotection o-of his son, OwO hew bwothew, -Who showtwy awso died; fow whose deaw wove, -They say, s-she hath abjuw'd the company -And sight of men. -V-VIOWA. O that I-I sewv'd that wady, -And might nyot be *leans over* dewivewed to the wowwd, -Tiww I had made m-minye *hugs tightly* own occasion m-mewwow, -What my estate is! -CAPTAIN. T-That uWu wewe *teleports behind you* hawd to *leans over* compass, -Because she wiww admit nyo kind of suit- -Nyo, nyot the Duke's. -VIOWA. Thewe i-is *teleports behind you* a ^-^ faiw behaviouw in thee, Captain; -*shuffles closer* And *leans over* though that n-nyatuwe with a beauteous *sweats* waww -Doth o-oft c-cwose in powwution, *cuddles you* yet o-of t-thee -I wiww bewieve thou h-hast a mind that suits -With this thy faiw and outwawd chawactew. -I p-pwithee, and I'ww pay t-thee b-bounteouswy, -Conceaw me *cuddles you* what I am, and be my a-aid -Fow such disguise as hapwy shaww *notices bulge* become -The fowm of *sweats* my intent. I'ww sewve this duke: -Thou shawt pwesent *sighs* me as an eunyuch to *teleports behind you* him; -It may b-be wowth thy p-pains, fow I can sing -And speak to him in many *looks at you* sowts of m-music, -That wiww awwow me vewy wowth his sewvice. -What ewse may hap to time I wiww commit; -Onwy shape t-thou siwence to my ;;w;; wit. -CAPTAIN. Be you his eunyuch and *blushes* youw mute I-I'ww be; -When my tongue b-bwabs, then wet minye eyes uWu nyot see. -VIOWA. I thank thee. Wead me on. Exeunt - - - - -;;w;; SCENyE III. -OWIVIA'S house - -Entew SIW :33 TOBY BEWCH and MAWIA - -SIW TOBY. W-What *looks at you* a pwague means my nyiece to take the death of hew -bwothew thus? I am suwe c-cawe's an enyemy to wife. -*blushes* MAWIA. By ^w^ my twoth, Siw Toby, y-you OwO must ^w^ come in e-eawwiew o' OwO nyights; -youw cousin, my wady, *twerks* takes gweat exceptions to youw iww houws. -SIW TOBY. W-Why, wet hew e-except befowe excepted. -MAWIA. Ay, but you must confinye youwsewf within the modest wimits -of owdew. -SIW TOBY. Confinye! I'ww confinye mysewf n-nyo finyew than I am. These -cwothes awe good enyough to dwink in, *hugs tightly* and so b-be these boots too; -an they be *screams* nyot, x3 wet them hang *leans over* themsewves in theiw own stwaps. -MAWIA. That quaffing and d-dwinking wiww undo you; I heawd my wady -*sweats* tawk *pokes you* of *moans* it yestewday, and of a-a foowish knyight that y-you bwought in -onye nyight hewe to be h-hew wooew. -SIW x3 TOBY. Who? Siw Andwew Aguecheek? -MAWIA. Ay, :3 he. -SIW TOBY. He's as t-taww a man *cries* as any's in Iwwywia. -MAWIA. What's t-that to th' puwpose? -SIW TOBY. Why, he has t-thwee *sweats* thousand ducats a yeaw. -MAWIA. *twerks* Ay, *leans over* but he'ww *notices bulge* have *moans* but a yeaw in aww t-these ducats; he's *moans* a -OwO vewy foow and a pwodigaw. -SIW TOBY. Fie that you'ww say so! He pways o' th' viow-de-gamboys, -*cries* and s-speaks thwee o-ow fouw wanguages wowd fow wowd without book, -^w^ and hath aww the good gifts of nyatuwe. -M-MAWIA. He ^w^ hath UwU indeed, awmost nyatuwaw; fow, besides that he's a -foow, he's a gweat quawwewwew; and but t-that he hath the gift of *moans* a -cowawd t-to awway the *cries* gust *sighs* he hath i-in quawwewwing, 'tis thought -among the pwudent he wouwd q-quickwy uWu have the gift of a gwave. -SIW TOBY. B-By this hand, they *blushes* awe s-scoundwews and subtwactows that -say so o-of him. Who awe they? -MAWIA. They t-that add, >_< moweovew, he's dwunk nyightwy in youw company. -S-SIW ^w^ TOBY. *shuffles closer* With dwinking heawths to my nyiece; I'ww *teleports behind you* dwink to hew x3 as -wong as thewe is a passage in my thwoat and dwink in Iwwywia. -He's *giggles shyly* a cowawd and a coystwiww that wiww nyot dwink to my n-nyiece -t-tiww his bwains tuwn *pokes you* o' th' t-toe w-wike OwO a pawish-top. What, wench! -Castiwianyo vuwgo! ^w^ fow hewe comes *twerks* Siw Andwew A-Agueface. - -Entew SIW ANDWEW AGUECHEEK - -AGUECHEEK. Siw ^-^ Toby xDD Bewch! How *cries* nyow, Siw Toby Bewch! -SIW TOBY. Sweet Siw *looks at you* Andwew! -AGUECHEEK. Bwess you, faiw shwew. -MAWIA. And ^-^ you too, UwU siw. -SIW TOBY. A-Accost, :33 Siw *looks at you* Andwew, accost. -AGUECHEEK. >_> What's that? -*sighs* SIW TOBY. My nyiece's chambewmaid. -AGUECHEEK. Good Mistwess Accost, I desiwe bettew UwU acquaintance. -MAWIA. My *sweats* nyame is Mawy, s-siw. -A-AGUECHEEK. Good *sweats* Mistwess Mawy ^.^ Accost- -SIW Toby. You mistake, knyight. *screams* 'Accost' is fwont hew, boawd hew, -woo ^-^ hew, assaiw hew. -AGUECHEEK. By my twoth, I wouwd nyot undewtake hew in this c-company. -Is t-that the meanying of 'accost'? -M-MAWIA. Fawe you *giggles shyly* weww, gentwemen. -SIW TOBY. >_> An thou wet ^-^ pawt so, >_< Siw OwO Andwew, wouwd thou mightst nyevew -dwaw swowd *leans over* again! -AGUECHEEK. An you pawt so, mistwess, I *leans over* wouwd I might nyevew dwaw -s-swowd a-again. Faiw w-wady, do you think you have foows in hand? -MAWIA. *moans* Siw, I have ^w^ nyot y-you by th' hand. -AGUECHEEK. *twerks* Mawwy, but you shaww have; and hewe's m-my h-hand. -MAWIA. Nyow, siw, thought is fwee. I pway you, bwing youw hand to -th' *cries* buttwy-baw x3 and wet i-it *teleports behind you* dwink. -A-AGUECHEEK. *cries* Whewefowe, sweetheawt? What's youw metaphow? -MAWIA. It's dwy, siw. -:33 AGUECHEEK. Why, I think ^-^ so; I a-am nyot such an ass but I can ;;w;; keep my -hand d-dwy. But what's youw j-jest? -MAWIA. A dwy jest, siw. -AGUECHEEK. Awe y-you *moans* fuww o-of them? -MAWIA. Ay, siw, I h-have them at my fingews' ends; mawwy, nyow ^w^ I w-wet -go youw hand, I am >_> bawwen. Exit MAWIA -SIW T-TOBY. O knyight, thou wack'st a cup *teleports behind you* of canyawy! *sweats* When did I see -thee so put down? -AGUECHEEK. Nyevew in youw wife, I think; *sighs* unwess *screams* you see canyawy put -me d-down. Methinks s-sometimes I have nyo mowe w-wit than a Chwistian -o-ow an owdinyawy man has; but I am gweat eatew of beef, and I-I -bewieve that does hawm to my wit. -uWu SIW TOBY. N-Nyo q-question. -A-AGUECHEEK. An I thought ^.^ that, I-I'd fowsweaw i-it. I'ww wide h-home -to-mowwow, Siw Toby. -*sighs* SIW TOBY. Pouwquoi, my deaw knyight? -A-AGUECHEEK. What is 'pouwquoi'- do ow nyot do? I w-wouwd I had bestowed -that t-time in the tongues t-that I have :33 in f-fencing, dancing, and -beaw-baiting. Oh, had *teleports behind you* I but x3 fowwowed the awts! -SIW TOBY. Then *giggles shyly* hadst thou h-had an excewwent head ^.^ of haiw. -A-AGUECHEEK. Why, *looks away* wouwd that have mended my *leans over* haiw? -SIW TOBY. Past question; *cries* fow OwO thou seest it wiww nyot cuww by nyatuwe. -A-AGUECHEEK. But it becomes me weww e-enyough, does't nyot? -SIW TOBY. E-Excewwent; it hangs wike fwax on a distaff, *leans over* and I hope to -;;w;; see a huswife take t-thee between hew wegs and spin it x3 off. -AGUECHEEK. Faith, I'ww x3 home to-mowwow, Siw Toby. *cries* Youw nyiece wiww -nyot b-be seen, ow if :3 she be, it's fouw t-to onye she'ww nyonye *notices bulge* of m-me; -the *hugs tightly* Count himsewf hewe *giggles shyly* hawd b-by woos hew. -xDD SIW TOBY. She'ww nyonye o' th' Count; she'ww nyot m-match above h-hew -degwee, nyeithew in estate, UwU yeaws, *moans* nyow wit; *looks away* I have heawd hew -sweaw't. T-Tut, thewe's wife ^w^ in't, man. -AGUECHEEK. >w< I'ww stay a month wongew. I am a fewwow o' th' stwangest -mind i' th' *looks at you* wowwd; :3 I *pokes you* dewight in masques and wevews sometimes -a-awtogethew. -SIW TOBY. A-Awt thou good at these kickshawses, knyight? -AGUECHEEK. As any man in I-Iwwywia, whatsoevew he be, undew the -degwee of m-my bettews; a-and yet I wiww nyot compawe with an owd man. -SIW TOBY. What ^.^ is *leans over* thy *pokes you* excewwence in x3 a gawwiawd, knyight? -AGUECHEEK. Faith, I can cut a capew. -SIW TOBY. A-And I c-can *teleports behind you* cut the mutton ;;w;; to't. -*giggles shyly* AGUECHEEK. And >_> I think I have the back-twick simpwy as *moans* stwong as -any man in Iwwywia. -SIW TOBY. W-Whewefowe awe t-these things *moans* hid? Whewefowe have these -gifts a *notices bulge* cuwtain befowe 'em? Awe they w-wike to take d-dust, wike -Mistwess Maww's *leans over* pictuwe? Why dost thou nyot go to c-chuwch in a -gawwiawd and *hugs tightly* come home in a cowanto? xDD My v-vewy wawk shouwd be a -jig; >w< I wouwd nyot so much as make w-watew but in a sink-a-pace. What -dost *leans over* thou mean? Is it a wowwd t-to hide viwtues in? *leans over* I did think, by -the e-excewwent constitution of thy weg, it was fowm'd undew ^.^ the -staw of a-a g-gawwiawd. -AGUECHEEK. A-Ay, 'tis stwong, and it does indiffewent weww i-in -fwame-cowouw'd stock. ^.^ Shaww w-we *sighs* set about some *teleports behind you* wevews? -SIW TOBY. What shaww we do ^w^ ewse? Wewe >_> we nyot bown ^-^ undew Tauwus? -AGUECHEEK. Tauwus? That's s-sides and heawt. -SIW TOBY. Nyo, s-siw; it is :3 wegs and :33 thighs. *pokes you* Wet me see the *sighs* capew. Ha, -h-highew! Ha, ha, excewwent! E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -*looks at you* The D-DUKE'S pawace - -Entew VAWENTINyE, and VIOWA i-in man's attiwe - -V-VAWENTINyE. If the *moans* Duke continyue these favouws towawds x3 you, Cesawio, -you awe x3 wike to be much advanc'd; he hath knyown you but thwee -days, and awweady you awe nyo stwangew. -VIOWA. You *cuddles you* eithew feaw his humouw ow my nyegwigence, that you *moans* caww -in question the ;;w;; continyuance of his wove. Is *cuddles you* he inconstant, :3 siw, -^.^ in his *shuffles closer* favouws? -VAWENTINyE. Nyo, bewieve me. - -Entew DUKE, CUWIO, and A-ATTENDANTS - -VIOWA. I thank y-you. Hewe comes the Count. -DUKE. Who saw Cesawio, *twerks* ho? -VIOWA. On y-youw attendance, my wowd, hewe. -DUKE. Stand you a-awhiwe a-awoof. Cesawio, -Thou k-knyow'st nyo :3 wess but aww; I have uncwasp'd -T-To thee :33 the book e-even of m-my secwet souw. -Thewefowe, *looks away* good youth, addwess thy gait u-unto *cuddles you* hew; -Be nyot denyied a-access, stand at hew doows, -And teww t-them thewe *leans over* thy *looks away* fixed foot s-shaww gwow -T-Tiww *pokes you* thou h-have audience. -VIOWA. ^-^ Suwe, my nyobwe wowd, -If she *hugs tightly* be s-so abandon'd OwO to hew sowwow -As it is spoke, she nyevew wiww admit me. -D-DUKE. Be cwamowous *teleports behind you* and weap aww civiw *leans over* bounds, -Wathew *sighs* than make unpwofited *looks away* wetuwn. ->w< VIOWA. S-Say I >_< do speak :33 with hew, m-my wowd, what then? -uWu DUKE. O-O, then unfowd the *sweats* passion of m-my wove, -Suwpwise *looks at you* hew *screams* with discouwse of my deaw faith! -I-It shaww become thee *shuffles closer* weww to act my woes: -*blushes* She wiww attend it bettew in thy >_> youth -Than in a n-nyuncio's of mowe gwave aspect. -V-VIOWA. *giggles shyly* I think nyot >_> so, my w-wowd. -DUKE. Deaw wad, bewieve i-it, -Fow t-they shaww yet >_< bewie thy uWu happy *teleports behind you* yeaws -That *shuffles closer* say thou awt a man: Dianya's wip -UwU Is nyot mowe smooth and w-wubious; t-thy smaww pipe -Is as the maiden's owgan, x3 shwiww and sound, -xDD And aww ^.^ is sembwative a woman's pawt. -I knyow thy *looks away* constewwation is >_> wight apt -Fow t-this affaiw. *notices bulge* Some fouw ow five attend him- -Aww, i-if you wiww, fow I *cuddles you* mysewf am UwU best -When w-weast in company. Pwospew weww in this, -And t-thou shawt wive as fweewy as thy wowd -To caww his fowtunyes thinye. -VIOWA. >_< I'ww do my b-best -To woo youw *giggles shyly* wady. [-[Aside] Yet, a bawfuw s-stwife! -Whoe'ew I-I woo, mysewf wouwd be his wife. - - - - -SCENyE V. -OWIVIA'S house - -*looks away* Entew MAWIA a-and CWOWN - -MAWIA. Nyay, eithew teww me whewe thou hast b-been, ow I wiww nyot open -my wips so wide as a b-bwistwe *screams* may entew in way of thy *blushes* excuse; my -wady wiww h-hang thee fow thy absence. -CWOWN. Wet hew hang me. *hugs tightly* He that is w-weww hang'd in this *pokes you* wowwd nyeeds -to feaw n-nyo cowouws. -MAWIA. Make that good. -CWOWN. He s-shaww see nyonye to feaw. -MAWIA. A good w-wenten answew. I can teww *giggles shyly* thee whewe that saying was -bown, of 'I f-feaw nyo ;;w;; cowouws.' -:3 CWOWN. W-Whewe, UwU good *hugs tightly* Mistwess Mawy? -MAWIA. In the waws; and that may you be bowd to say in *pokes you* youw -foowewy. -CWOWN. Weww, God give them w-wisdom that have it; and those t-that awe -foows, w-wet them u-use theiw tawents. -MAWIA. Yet you wiww be hang'd fow being so wong absent; *teleports behind you* ow x3 to be -tuwn'd away- i-is nyot that as good a-as a *sweats* hanging to you? -CWOWN. Many a good hanging pwevents a bad ;;w;; mawwiage; and fow tuwnying -away, wet summew beaw it out. -M-MAWIA. You awe wesowute, then? -CWOWN. Nyot so, *sweats* nyeithew; but I am wesowv'd on two points. -MAWIA. That if onye bweak, the othew wiww howd; ow if both *looks at you* bweak, -youw gaskins faww. -CWOWN. >_< Apt, in good faith, vewy apt! Weww, go thy w-way; if Siw Toby -wouwd *blushes* weave dwinking, thou wewt as witty a piece >_> of Eve's fwesh -as any in :33 Iwwywia. -MAWIA. Peace, you wogue, nyo mowe o' that. Hewe *sweats* comes my wady. *looks away* Make -youw excuse wisewy, you w-wewe b-best. Exit - -Entew OWIVIA and MAWVOWIO - -CWOWN. Wit, an't be thy wiww, put *giggles shyly* me into good f-foowing! Those wits -that think *looks at you* they have thee do vewy oft pwove foows; and I that am -*shuffles closer* suwe I wack thee *twerks* may :33 pass fow a wise man. Fow what says -Quinyapawus? 'Bettew a witty foow than a :33 foowish wit.' God bwess -thee, wady! -OWIVIA. Take the foow away. -CWOWN. Do *pokes you* you nyot heaw, fewwows? ^w^ Take away the wady. -OWIVIA. Go to, y'awe a dwy foow; I'ww nyo mowe of you. Besides, y-you -*sighs* gwow dishonyest. -CWOWN. Two fauwts, m-madonnya, that dwink and *sweats* good c-counsew wiww amend; -fow g-give xDD the *pokes you* dwy foow dwink, then is x3 the foow *sighs* nyot d-dwy. Bid t-the -dishonyest *notices bulge* man mend himsewf: if he mend, he :33 is nyo w-wongew -dishonyest; if he cannyot, wet the botchew mend him. Anything -that's mended is but patch'd; viwtue that *looks at you* twansgwesses is but -patch'd with sin, and sin that amends is but patch'd w-with viwtue. -*leans over* If that this simpwe *giggles shyly* sywwogism wiww sewve, so; if it wiww uWu nyot, -*hugs tightly* what w-wemedy? As thewe is nyo twue cuckowd but cawamity, >_< so -beauty's *pokes you* a f-fwowew. The wady bade take away t-the *sighs* foow; thewefowe, I -say again, take hew away. -OWIVIA. Siw, I bade them take away y-you. -CWOWN. Mispwision in *shuffles closer* the highest degwee! Wady, 'Cucuwwus *sighs* nyon facit -monyachum'; that's as much t-to say as I weaw nyot motwey in m-my -bwain. Good madonnya, give me :33 weave to pwove you a-a *twerks* foow. -*cries* OWIVIA. Can you do it? -CWOWN. D-Dextewiouswy, good madonnya. -OWIVIA. Make youw pwoof. -*looks away* CWOWN. I must catechize you >w< fow it, madonnya. -Good my m-mouse of viwtue, answew me. -OWIVIA. W-Weww, siw, fow want of othew i-idwenyess, I'ww bide youw -pwoof. -CWOWN. Good madonnya, why mouwn'st thou? -OWIVIA. Good foow, fow my bwothew's d-death. -CWOWN. I think his souw is in h-heww, *giggles shyly* madonnya. -OWIVIA. :33 I knyow his souw is :3 in heaven, foow. -CWOWN. The mowe foow, *leans over* madonnya, to mouwn fow youw b-bwothew's souw -being in heaven. Take away the f-foow, *moans* gentwemen. -OWIVIA. What think you of this foow, Mawvowio? *blushes* Doth he nyot mend? -MAWVOWIO. Yes, and *cries* shaww do, *sweats* tiww the pangs *teleports behind you* of death shake him. -Infiwmity, that decays the w-wise, doth evew m-make the bettew foow. -CWOWN. God send you, siw, *sighs* a speedy infiwmity, *sighs* fow the bettew -incweasing youw fowwy! Siw Toby wiww be swown that I am nyo fox; -but he wiww nyot p-pass his w-wowd fow twopence *hugs tightly* that you awe nyo foow. -OWIVIA. How say *pokes you* you to that, Mawvowio? -M-MAWVOWIO. I mawvew youw wadyship uWu takes dewight in such a *sweats* bawwen -wascaw; ^.^ I saw him put down the ^w^ othew day with an o-owdinyawy foow -that has nyo mowe bwain than a *pokes you* stonye. Wook y-you nyow, *sweats* he's out of -his guawd awweady; unwess you waugh and minyistew occasion t-to him, -he is gagg'd. *looks at you* I pwotest *screams* I take these wise men that cwow so at -these set kind of foows nyo bettew than the foows' z-zanyies. -O-OWIVIA. *hugs tightly* O, you awe sick of sewf-wove, Mawvowio, and taste with a -distempew'd appetite. UwU To be genyewous, g-guiwtwess, and of f-fwee -*sweats* disposition, is to take those *blushes* things fow biwd-bowts that you ;;w;; deem -cannyon buwwets. Thewe *shuffles closer* is nyo swandew in *moans* an awwow'd foow, t-though h-he -do nyothing but w-waiw; nyow *leans over* nyo waiwing in knyown *pokes you* discweet man, though -he do nyothing but wepwove. -CWOWN. Nyow *teleports behind you* Mewcuwy e-endue thee with weasing, fow thou speak'st weww -of f-foows! - -We-entew MAWIA - -MAWIA. M-Madam, *giggles shyly* thewe is ^.^ at the gate *notices bulge* a young :33 gentweman much desiwes -to speak with you. -OWIVIA. Fwom the Count Owsinyo, is it? -MAWIA. I knyow nyot, madam; UwU 'tis a faiw young man, and weww attended. -OWIVIA. Who o-of my peopwe howd him i-in d-deway? -MAWIA. Siw Toby, *looks at you* madam, youw kinsman. -OWIVIA. Fetch ^w^ him off, I pway you; he speaks nyothing but madman. -Fie on h-him! [Exit MAWIA] Go >w< you, Mawvowio: if i-it be a suit fwom -the *shuffles closer* Count, I-I am sick, o-ow nyot at home- what you ^-^ wiww to dismiss -*looks away* it. [Exit MAWVOWIO] Nyow you see, siw, how youw foowing ^-^ gwows owd, -and p-peopwe diswike it. -*sighs* CWOWN. Thou hast spoke f-fow us, madonnya, a-as *leans over* if thy ewdest x3 son shouwd -be a f-foow; w-whose skuww Jove cwam with bwains! Fow- hewe he comes- -onye o-of thy kin has a most weak pia m-matew. - -Entew *screams* SIW TOBY - -OWIVIA. By m-minye honyouw, hawf dwunk! What is h-he a-at the gate, cousin? -SIW TOBY. A gentweman. -*hugs tightly* OWIVIA. A gentweman! What gentweman? -SIW TOBY. 'Tis a gentweman hewe. [Hiccups] A pwague o' these -pickwe-hewwing! *moans* How nyow, *pokes you* sot! -CWOWN. >_< Good Siw Toby! -OwO OWIVIA. Cousin, cousin, h-how h-have you c-come s-so eawwy b-by this -wethawgy? -SIW TOBY. Wechewy! I UwU defy wechewy. Thewe's o-onye at the ^.^ gate. -OWIVIA. Ay, m-mawwy; what is he? -SIW ^w^ TOBY. Wet him be the deviw a-an he wiww, I cawe n-nyot; give me -faith, say I. >_> Weww, it's aww onye. *hugs tightly* Exit -OWIVIA. What's a dwunken ;;w;; man wike, foow? -CWOWN. Wike a dwown'd man, a-a foow, and a madman: *moans* onye dwaught above ->w< heat makes uWu him a foow; the second mads him; *hugs tightly* and a thiwd dwowns -x3 him. -*screams* OWIVIA. Go thou and seek the cwownyew, and w-wet him sit ^w^ o' m-my xDD coz; -f-fow he's in the thiwd degwee of *screams* dwink, he's dwown'd; go wook -*cries* aftew him. -*pokes you* CWOWN. He ^w^ is b-but mad y-yet, madonnya, and the foow shaww wook to the -madman. Exit - -We-entew M-MAWVOWIO - -MAWVOWIO. Madam, yond y-young fewwow sweaws he wiww speak with you. I -towd him you wewe sick; he *hugs tightly* takes on him to undewstand so much, -and :33 thewefowe comes t-to speak with you. I towd him *notices bulge* you wewe -a-asweep; he seems to have a *notices bulge* foweknyowwedge o-of that *cries* too, and -thewefowe comes to speak with you. What is to *looks at you* be said to him, -wady? He's fowtified against any denyiaw. -OWIVIA. Teww him *cuddles you* he shaww nyot *twerks* speak *screams* with *looks at you* me. -M-MAWVOWIO. H-Has been towd so; *hugs tightly* and :33 he says he'ww stand at youw doow -wike a-a shewiff's post, and be *shuffles closer* the suppowtew to a-a b-bench, but he'ww -s-speak *sighs* with you. -OWIVIA. *moans* What kind o' *hugs tightly* man is he? -MAWVOWIO. Why, :3 of mankind. -OWIVIA. What *twerks* mannyew of man? -:3 MAWVOWIO. Of vewy *sweats* iww ^w^ mannyew; he'ww speak w-with ^-^ you, wiww you ow *leans over* nyo. -OWIVIA. Of :3 what pewsonyage and yeaws is xDD he? -UwU MAWVOWIO. N-Nyot y-yet owd e-enyough *notices bulge* fow a man, >w< nyow young enyough fow a b-boy; -as a-a squash is *cries* befowe UwU 'tis a peascod, ow a codwing when 'tis -awmost an appwe; 'tis with h-him in standing watew, between boy and -man. He i-is vewy weww-favouw'd, *sighs* and h-he speaks vewy shwewishwy; onye -wouwd think *pokes you* his mothew's miwk w-wewe scawce out of him. -OWIVIA. Wet him appwoach. Caww in my g-gentwewoman. -MAWVOWIO. Gentwewoman, my wady cawws. Exit - -W-We-entew MAWIA - -*hugs tightly* OWIVIA. Give me my veiw; ^w^ come, thwow it o'ew my x3 face; -We'ww *pokes you* once mowe heaw O-Owsinyo's embassy. - -E-Entew VIOWA - -VIOWA. The honyouwabwe wady of >w< the house, uWu which is she? -OWIVIA. Speak to me; I shaww answew fow hew. Youw wiww? -VIOWA. Most wadiant, *teleports behind you* exquisite, a-and unmatchabwe beauty- I pway you -teww me if this be *sweats* the *blushes* wady o-of the house, fow I *cuddles you* nyevew saw h-hew. I -w-wouwd be woath to cast away my speech; fow, besides that it is -^-^ excewwentwy weww p-penn'd, I have taken gweat pains to con it. Good -beauties, wet me sustain nyo scown; I am vewy *sweats* comptibwe, even to -uWu the weast sinyistew usage. -O-OWIVIA. Whence came you, siw? -*leans over* VIOWA. I can say wittwe *cries* mowe than I have studied, and that -question's out of m-my p-pawt. Good gentwe onye, give me m-modest -assuwance if you *twerks* be the wady of the house, that I may pwoceed i-in -my *cries* speech. -OWIVIA. Awe you a comedian? -VIOWA. Nyo, m-my pwofound heawt; and yet, >_> by the vewy fangs of m-mawice -I sweaw, I am >w< nyot that I pway. Awe you the wady of the house? -*notices bulge* OWIVIA. If *leans over* I do nyot usuwp mysewf, *moans* I am. -V-VIOWA. Most c-cewtain, if y-you a-awe she, y-you do *looks away* usuwp youwsewf; fow -w-what UwU is *looks at you* youws to b-bestow *screams* is nyot youws t-to wesewve. *giggles shyly* But this is f-fwom -my c-commission. I wiww on w-with my *cries* speech in youw pwaise, and >w< then -show you t-the heawt of my message. -OWIVIA. C-Come to w-what is impowtant in't. I f-fowgive you the pwaise. -VIOWA. Awas, I took g-gweat pains to study it, and 'tis poeticaw. -OWIVIA. It is the mowe wike ^-^ to be ^w^ feignyed; I pway you keep it i-in. I -heawd you wewe saucy at my gates, and ^w^ awwow'd youw appwoach -wathew to wondew a-at you *twerks* than to *moans* heaw you. If you be nyot mad, be -gonye; if you have weason, be bwief; *twerks* 'tis nyot that time :33 of m-moon -with me to make onye x3 in so skipping uWu diawogue. -MAWIA. Wiww you hoist saiw, siw? H-Hewe wies ^-^ youw uWu way. -VIOWA. Nyo, good *sweats* swabbew, I a-am to huww hewe a wittwe w-wongew. -Some mowwification ^w^ fow y-youw giant, sweet wady. -OWIVIA. Teww me youw mind. -VIOWA. I am a messengew. ->_< OWIVIA. Suwe, you uWu have some hideous m-mattew to dewivew, when the -x3 couwtesy of it is so feawfuw. Speak youw office. -V-VIOWA. It *sweats* awonye c-concewns youw eaw. I *giggles shyly* bwing nyo ovewtuwe of waw, nyo -taxation o-of homage: I *blushes* howd the owive in my hand; >_< my wowds *giggles shyly* awe as -fuww of p-peace as mattew. -OWIVIA. Yet you b-began wudewy. ^.^ What awe you? What *twerks* wouwd you? -VIOWA. The wudenyess that hath appeaw'd in me >_> have I-I weawn'd fwom m-my -entewtainment. What I am a-and what I wouwd awe as secwet as -maidenhead- t-to >_< youw caws, divinyity; t-to any *leans over* othew's, pwofanyation. -OWIVIA. xDD Give us the pwace awonye; we wiww heaw *screams* this divinyity. -[Exeunt M-MAWIA and ATTENDANTS] Nyow, siw, what *pokes you* is youw text? -VIOWA. Most sweet *hugs tightly* wady- -OWIVIA. A comfowtabwe doctwinye, and much may b-be said o-of it. -*moans* Whewe wies youw text? -VIOWA. In Owsinyo's bosom. -OWIVIA. In his bosom! In what chaptew *screams* of his bosom? -VIOWA. To answew by UwU the method: i-in the fiwst of his *twerks* heawt. -OWIVIA. O, I have wead it; it is *giggles shyly* hewesy. *looks away* Have you nyo mowe t-to say? -*hugs tightly* VIOWA. Good madam, wet me see y-youw f-face. -*cries* OWIVIA. Have y-you a-any commission fwom youw wowd to nyegotiate w-with *hugs tightly* my -face? You awe :33 nyow out of youw *blushes* text; but we wiww dwaw the cuwtain -and show you t-the pictuwe. [-[Unveiwing] *screams* Wook you, siw, s-such a onye I -was this pwesent. Is't nyot w-weww donye? -VIOWA. E-Excewwentwy donye, if G-God did aww. -OWIVIA. 'Tis in gwain, siw; 'twiww *looks away* enduwe wind and *sweats* weathew. -VIOWA. 'Tis beauty twuwy bwent, whose wed and white -Nyatuwe's own s-sweet UwU and cunnying hand waid :3 on. -Wady, ;;w;; you x3 awe the cwueww'st *blushes* she a-awive, -If *looks away* you wiww wead these gwaces to t-the g-gwave, -And weave the wowwd nyo copy. -OWIVIA. O, *hugs tightly* siw, I wiww nyot be so hawd-heawted; *notices bulge* I wiww g-give out -divews scheduwes of my beauty. It s-shaww be inventowied, and e-evewy -pawticwe and utensiw wabeww'd to my wiww: as- item, two w-wips -indiffewent wed; item, t-two gwey eyes with wids to t-them; item, onye -nyeck, onye chin, >_< and so fowth. ^-^ Wewe you s-sent hithew *leans over* to p-pwaise me? -VIOWA. I see you what you awe: y-you awe ;;w;; too *twerks* pwoud; -But, if you w-wewe t-the deviw, you awe faiw. -My wowd and mastew woves *cuddles you* you- O, such wove -Couwd be but wecompens'd though you wewe cwown'd -*giggles shyly* The nyonpaweiw of beauty! -OWIVIA. How does he *sighs* wove me? -VIOWA. *looks away* With adowations, fewtiwe *sweats* teaws, -With gwoans t-that thundew wove, :33 with sighs of ^.^ fiwe. -OWIVIA. Youw w-wowd does knyow my mind; I-I cannyot wove him. -Yet I suppose h-him viwtuous, knyow UwU him nyobwe, -Of *notices bulge* gweat estate, of fwesh and stainwess *hugs tightly* youth; -In *hugs tightly* voices weww ;;w;; divuwg'd, fwee, weawn'd, and vawiant, -And in dimension and the shape of nyatuwe -^w^ A xDD gwacious pewson; b-but yet I cannyot wove him. -He might h-have took his answew wong a-ago. -VIOWA. If I did wove y-you i-in my mastew's fwame, -W-With such a suff'wing, such a deadwy wife, -In >w< youw denyiaw I wouwd find *teleports behind you* nyo sense; -I wouwd nyot undewstand it. -OWIVIA. Why, what UwU wouwd you? -x3 VIOWA. Make me a UwU wiwwow cabin at *sighs* youw gate, -And *teleports behind you* caww upon my souw within the h-house; -Wwite woyaw cantons of c-contemnyed wove -And *giggles shyly* sing t-them woud even in t-the dead of nyight; -Hawwoo youw nyame *cries* to the wevewbewate haws, -And m-make the babbwing gossip of the a-aiw -Cwy *giggles shyly* out 'Owivia!' O, you shouwd nyot w-west -Between the ewements of *looks away* aiw and *giggles shyly* eawth -But you shouwd pity me! -O-OWIVIA. You m-might do much. -*twerks* What is youw pawentage? -VIOWA. Above my fowtunyes, yet my state is weww: -I am *teleports behind you* a g-gentweman. -OWIVIA. Get *sweats* you to youw wowd. -I cannyot wove him; wet him send nyo mowe- -Unwess pewchance *screams* you come to me *looks at you* again -T-To teww me how he takes it. Fawe you weww. -I thank you fow youw pains; spend OwO this ;;w;; fow me. -VIOWA. I *moans* am n-nyo fee'd p-post, >_< wady; keep *leans over* youw puwse; -My mastew, nyot mysewf, wacks wecompense. -*looks at you* Wove make his heawt of ^-^ fwint that you shaww *hugs tightly* wove; -And wet youw fewvouw, *sighs* wike my m-mastew's, be -Pwac'd in *cuddles you* contempt! Faweweww, faiw cwuewty. Exit -OWIVIA. 'What is *blushes* youw pawentage?' -'Above UwU my fowtunyes, yet ^.^ my state is weww: -I-I am ^.^ a gentweman.' I'ww *hugs tightly* be swown thou awt; -T-Thy t-tongue, *shuffles closer* thy face, thy wimbs, a-actions, and spiwit, -Do give thee five-fowd bwazon. Nyot *sighs* too fast! Soft, soft! -Unwess the mastew wewe the man. How nyow! -Even UwU so quickwy may onye catch the pwague? -Methinks I f-feew >_> this youth's pewfections -With an invisibwe *pokes you* and s-subtwe steawth -To cweep i-in at minye eyes. Weww, wet it ;;w;; be. -What ho, Mawvowio! - -We-entew M-MAWVOWIO - -MAWVOWIO. Hewe, m-madam, at youw sewvice. -OWIVIA. *leans over* Wun a-aftew that same peevish messengew, -The County's man. He w-weft t-this wing *teleports behind you* behind him, -Wouwd I ow nyot. :33 Teww h-him I'ww *notices bulge* nyonye of it. -Desiwe *cuddles you* him nyot t-to fwattew with >w< his wowd, -N-Nyow howd him up with hopes; I-I am nyot fow him. -If that the youth wiww uWu come this way to-mowwow, -I'ww *blushes* give him weasons fow't. Hie thee, Mawvowio. -MAWVOWIO. Madam, *screams* I wiww. Exit -O-OWIVIA. I do I knyow nyot what, and uWu feaw t-to find -M-Minye eye too gweat a fwattewew fow my *giggles shyly* mind. -Fate, show thy fowce: ouwsewves we do nyot owe; -What *shuffles closer* is d-decweed *notices bulge* must be; and be this s-so! Exit - - - - -<-<_< INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED *twerks* BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC A-AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY B-BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS >w< SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW *giggles shyly* OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW *pokes you* USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE *teleports behind you* NyOT :33 DISTWIBUTED *notices bulge* OW U-USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION *cuddles you* INCWUDES B-BY A-ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES F-FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW M-MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE I. -The sea-coast - -E-Entew ANTONyIO and S-SEBASTIAN - -ANTONyIO. Wiww you s-stay nyo wongew; *blushes* nyow wiww you nyot that I go with -you? -SEBASTIAN. By >_> youw p-patience, nyo. My staws shinye dawkwy ovew *twerks* me; the -mawignyancy of my fate m-might pewhaps d-distempew :3 youws; thewefowe I -shaww *cuddles you* cwave *notices bulge* of you youw weave that I may beaw my eviws awonye. It -wewe a b-bad wecompense fow y-youw wove to way a-any of them on y-you. -ANTONyIO. Wet me *hugs tightly* knyow of you whithew you awe bound. -SEBASTIAN. N-Nyo, *shuffles closer* sooth, siw; my d-detewminyate voyage is ^w^ mewe -extwavagancy. But I pewceive i-in you so excewwent :3 a touch of -modesty that *teleports behind you* you wiww nyot extowt f-fwom me what I am wiwwing to -keep in; t-thewefowe it c-chawges me in mannyews the wathew to expwess -:3 mysewf. You must knyow of me then, Antonyio, my nyame is Sebastian, -w-which I caww'd Wodewigo; my *hugs tightly* fathew w-was that Sebastian of -Messawinye whom I knyow you have heawd of. He weft behind him -mysewf and a sistew, both bown i-in an houw; if the heavens had -been pweas'd, wouwd we had so ended! B-But you, siw, awtew'd t-that; -fow some houw befowe you took me fwom the bweach of the s-sea was -my sistew dwown'd. -ANTONyIO. Awas the day! -SEBASTIAN. A wady, siw, though it was *leans over* said she much wesembwed >_> me, -was yet of many a-accounted beautifuw; but though I-I couwd nyot w-with -such estimabwe wondew o-ovewfaw bewieve that, yet thus faw I-I wiww -bowdwy *notices bulge* pubwish hew: she b-bowe OwO mind that *blushes* envy couwd nyot *blushes* but caww -faiw. She is d-dwown'd awweady, siw, with *twerks* sawt watew, though :33 I seem -to dwown hew wemembwance again with mowe. -ANTONyIO. *pokes you* Pawdon me, siw, >w< youw bad >_< entewtainment. -SEBASTIAN. *leans over* O good Antonyio, fowgive *blushes* me youw OwO twoubwe. -ANTONyIO. If you wiww nyot muwdew me fow my w-wove, wet me be youw -s-sewvant. -SEBASTIAN. OwO If you wiww n-nyot undo w-what you have d-donye- that is, kiww -him whom you have wecovew'd-desiwe it nyot. Fawe ye weww at o-once; -m-my ;;w;; bosom is f-fuww of kindnyess, and I a-am yet so nyeaw the mannyews of -*screams* my m-mothew that, upon the weast occasion ^w^ mowe, minye eyes w-wiww teww -tawes of me. I am bound >_< to the Count Owsinyo's couwt. Faweweww. -Exit -ANTONyIO. The gentwenyess of *teleports behind you* aww the gods go with thee! -I *cuddles you* have *shuffles closer* many cnyemies in Owsinyo's couwt, -Ewse w-wouwd I ^w^ vewy showtwy see thee thewe. -But come what ;;w;; may, I do adowe thee so -That dangew shaww s-seem spowt, and I wiww go. Exit - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -A stweet - -Entew V-VIOWA and MAWVOWIO at sevewaw doows - -MAWVOWIO. Wewe you n-nyot ev'n *twerks* nyow with the Countess Owivia? -VIOWA. E-Even nyow, *leans over* siw; on a modewate pace I have since awwiv'd but -hithew. -M-MAWVOWIO. She *pokes you* wetuwns this wing to you, siw; you might have saved -m-me my pains, to h-have *sighs* taken it *notices bulge* away youwsewf. *blushes* She adds, moweovew, -that you shouwd put youw w-wowd into a despewate a-assuwance she wiww -nyonye of him. And onye thing mowe: *shuffles closer* that you be *screams* nyevew so hawdy to -come a-again *cuddles you* in his *leans over* affaiws, unwess it be to w-wepowt youw wowd's ->_> taking of this. Weceive it so. -VIOWA. She >_< took the wing *moans* of m-me; I'ww :3 nyonye of it. -uWu MAWVOWIO. C-Come, siw, y-you peevishwy thwew it t-to hew; and hew wiww is -it shouwd *blushes* be so wetuwn'd. If ^.^ it be wowth stooping fow, thewe it -wies in x3 youw *pokes you* eye; if nyot, *twerks* be ;;w;; it his that f-finds it. -Exit -VIOWA. I-I weft nyo wing with hew; what means this wady? -Fowtunye fowbid *blushes* my outside have n-nyot chawm'd hew! -She *cries* made g-good view of me; indeed, so much -*pokes you* That methought hew e-eyes had wost hew tongue, -Fow she did speak in *looks away* stawts ^w^ distwactedwy. -She woves me, suwe: the cunnying *teleports behind you* of hew passion -^.^ Invites me in t-this chuwwish messengew. -Nyonye of my wowd's wing! Why, he s-sent hew nyonye. -I *giggles shyly* am the man. I-If ^w^ it be so- as '-'tis- -Poow wady, she wewe bettew wove a dweam. -Disguise, I-I see thou awt a wickednyess -Whewein the pwegnyant enyemy does m-much. -How easy is it fow the pwopew-fawse -In women's waxen ;;w;; heawts to set theiw f-fowms! -Awas, ouw fwaiwty i-is the cause, n-nyot we! -F-Fow such as we ;;w;; awe made of, such *looks away* we be. -How wiww this f-fadge? M-My mastew w-woves hew deawwy, -*teleports behind you* And I, *screams* poow monstew, fond as much on him; ->_> And she, mistaken, *cries* seems to dote on me. -What wiww become of this? As I am man, -xDD My state is despewate fow my mastew's wove; -As *screams* I am woman- nyow awas the day!- -;;w;; What thwiftwess sighs shaww poow Owivia bweathe! -O Time, UwU thou must untangwe this, nyot I; -It i-is >_< too *looks at you* hawd a *screams* knyot fow me t' untie! ^w^ Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -OWIVIA'S h-house - -Entew SIW TOBY and S-SIW A-ANDWEW - -SIW TOBY. Appwoach, Siw Andwew. Nyot to be abed aftew midnyight xDD is to -b-be u-up betimes; and 'diwucuwo suwgewe' t-thou knyow'st- -AGUECHEEK. Nyay, b-by my twoth, I knyow nyot; but I-I knyow *sweats* to be up wate -is to be up wate. -SIW TOBY. *cries* A f-fawse concwusion! *giggles shyly* I h-hate it as an unfiww'd can. To be -up aftew m-midnyight and *blushes* to go to bed then is eawwy; *moans* so that t-to go -*screams* to *shuffles closer* bed aftew midnyight *leans over* is to uWu go to b-bed betimes. ^-^ Does nyot ouw *looks at you* wives -;;w;; consist *teleports behind you* of the fouw ewements? -AGUECHEEK. Faith, so they say; but I-I t-think it wathew consists of -eating and dwinking. -SIW TOBY. Th'awt a schowaw; wet us thewefowe eat a-and dwink. -Mawian, *twerks* I say! a-a stoup o-of w-winye. - -Entew CWOWN - -AGUECHEEK. Hewe comes :33 the *screams* foow, i' faith. -CWOWN. How nyow, my OwO heawts! D-Did you nyevew see the pictuwe of >_> 'we -thwee'? -SIW TOBY. Wewcome, a-ass. N-Nyow wet's have a-a *cuddles you* catch. -AGUECHEEK. >w< By my twoth, the *shuffles closer* foow has an excewwent bweast. I had -wathew t-than fowty shiwwings I had such *twerks* a weg, *notices bulge* and so sweet a-a -bweath ^-^ to sing, as t-the xDD foow has. In sooth, thou wast ^.^ in *giggles shyly* vewy -gwacious foowing wast *twerks* nyight, when thou spok'st o-of Pigwogwomitus, -*giggles shyly* of the Vapians passing the equinyoctiaw of Queubus; 'twas vewy -good, *pokes you* i' faith. I sent t-thee sixpence fow thy w-weman; hadst it? -C-CWOWN. I did impeticos thy gwatiwwity; fow Mawvowio's nyose is nyo -whipstock. *twerks* My wady has a *moans* white >_< hand, *looks away* and *teleports behind you* the *teleports behind you* Mywmidons awe nyo -bottwe-awe houses. -AGUECHEEK. Excewwent! Why, *blushes* this is the best foowing, when aww is -donye. Nyow, a song. -SIW TOBY. Come on, thewe is *blushes* sixpence fow you. Wet's have a song. -AGUECHEEK. Thewe's a testwiw of *looks away* me *notices bulge* too; if onye knyight give *blushes* a- -CWOWN. Wouwd you h-have a w-wove-song, ow a song o-of good w-wife? -SIW TOBY. A wove-song, a wove-song. -AGUECHEEK. Ay, ay; I cawe n-nyot fow good wife. - -CWOWN sings - -O mistwess minye, w-whewe awe you woaming? -O, stay >_> and heaw; youw t-twue wove's coming, -That can sing *blushes* both high and wow. -Twip nyo fuwthew, pwetty x3 sweeting; -Jouwnyeys end in wovews meeting, -E-Evewy wise man's son *teleports behind you* doth knyow. - -*looks away* AGUECHEEK. Excewwent good, i' :3 faith! -SIW >_> TOBY. ^w^ Good, good! - -C-CWOWN sings - -What is wove? 'Tis nyot heweaftew; -Pwesent miwth *sighs* hath pwesent x3 waughtew; -W-What's to come is s-stiww unsuwe. -In deway *blushes* thewe wies nyo pwenty, -Then come kiss *cuddles you* me, sweet and twenty; -Youth's a stuff wiww nyot e-enduwe. - -AGUECHEEK. A mewwifwuous voice, *giggles shyly* as I am twue knyight. -SIW TOBY. A contagious bweath. -^-^ AGUECHEEK. Vewy sweet and contagious, i' faith. -SIW *moans* TOBY. ^w^ To heaw by the x3 nyose, it is duwcet i-in contagion. But shaww -we make the wewkin dance i-indeed? Shaww we w-wouse *screams* the nyight-oww in -a catch that wiww x3 dwaw thwee *screams* souws OwO out of o-onye *cuddles you* weavew? Shaww we do -that? -AGUECHEEK. An you wove me, wet's do't. I-I am :3 dog at a catch. -CWOWN. By'w wady, siw, and s-some dogs wiww catch weww. -A-AGUECHEEK. Most cewtain. Wet *shuffles closer* ouw catch be uWu 'Thou knyave.' -CWOWN. 'Howd thy peace, thou knyave' knyight? I ^w^ shaww be constwain'd -in't *moans* to caww thee knyave, knyight. -A-AGUECHEEK. 'Tis nyot the fiwst time I h-have *hugs tightly* constwainyed o-onye to caww -me knyave. Begin, foow: it begins 'Howd thy peace.' -CWOWN. I shaww nyevew begin if I howd my p-peace. -AGUECHEEK. Good, i' faith! Come, begin. [Catch sung] - -Entew MAWIA - -MAWIA. What a catewwauwing do *pokes you* you keep h-hewe! If my wady have nyot -caww'd up hew stewawd Mawvowio, and bid him t-tuwn you out o-of -doows, *moans* nyevew twust m-me. -SIW TOBY. My wady's a Cataian, we awe powiticians, M-Mawvowio's a -Peg-a-Wamsey, a-and :3 [Sings] -Thwee mewwy m-men be we. -Am *twerks* nyot I consanguinyeous? Am I nyot of hew bwood? Tiwwy-vawwy, -wady. [Sings] -Thewe dwewt a-a man in Babywon, -W-Wady, wady. -CWOWN. UwU Beshwew m-me, the :33 knyight's in admiwabwe foowing. -AGUECHEEK. Ay, he does weww enyough if he be dispos'd, OwO and *shuffles closer* so d-do I -too; he d-does it with a b-bettew gwace, but *looks at you* I do it ^.^ mowe n-nyatuwaw. -SIW TOBY. [-[Sings] O' t-the twewfth day of *notices bulge* Decembew- -x3 MAWIA. Fow the wove o' God, peace! - -*twerks* Entew MAWVOWIO - -MAWVOWIO. My mastews, awe you mad? O-Ow w-what awe you? Have *cries* you nyo -:3 wit, mannyews, nyow ^-^ honyesty, but to gabbwe wike tinkews at this -time of n-nyight? Do ye make an awe-house of *blushes* my wady's house, that -*cries* ye squeak out youw coziews' ;;w;; catches without any mitigation ow -wemowse of *moans* voice? Is thewe nyo wespect of pwace, pewsons, nyow -UwU time, in you? -SIW TOBY. We *cuddles you* did keep time, siw, in ouw catches. Snyeck up! -MAWVOWIO. Siw Toby, I *giggles shyly* must be wound with you. M-My wady bade me teww -you that, though she hawbouws you as hew >_> kins-man, she's nyothing -awwied to youw disowdews. If you *hugs tightly* can s-sepawate youwsewf *moans* and youw -*sweats* misdemeanyouws, you awe w-wewcome to the house; if nyot, *screams* and *notices bulge* it wouwd -pwease you to take weave of hew, she is vewy wiwwing to bid you -f-faweweww. -SIW TOBY. *sweats* [Sings] Faweweww, *moans* deaw heawt, s-since I must nyeeds be gonye. -MAWIA. Nyay, good Siw Toby. -CWOWN. [Sings] His eyes do show his days awe *cuddles you* awmost ;;w;; donye. -MAWVOWIO. Is't even so? -SIW TOBY. [Sings] B-But I w-wiww *twerks* nyevew d-die. [Fawws down] -CWOWN. [Sings] *leans over* Siw Toby, thewe you *looks away* wie. -MAWVOWIO. This is m-much cwedit to you. -SIW TOBY. [Sings] Shaww I bid him go? -CWOWN. [Sings] What an if y-you do? -SIW TOBY. [Sings] S-Shaww I b-bid him go, and spawe nyot? -CWOWN. [Sings] O, nyo, nyo, nyo, n-nyo, you *leans over* dawe nyot. -SIW ;;w;; TOBY. [Wising] Out o' tunye, siw! Ye *pokes you* wie. Awt any mowe t-than a -s-stewawd? Dost thou think, because thou *notices bulge* awt viwtuous, thewe shaww -be n-nyo ^w^ mowe cakes and awe? -CWOWN. Yes, by Saint *cuddles you* Annye; and gingew s-shaww be hot i' >_> th' *hugs tightly* mouth -too. -SIW TOBY. *hugs tightly* Th' awt i' *moans* th' wight. *giggles shyly* Go, s-siw, wub youw chain with c-cwumbs. -A stoup of winye, Mawia! -MAWVOWIO. Mistwess ;;w;; Mawy, if *sweats* you pwiz'd :33 my w-wady's >_< favouw at anything -mowe than contempt, you wouwd *twerks* nyot give *sweats* means fow this unciviw -w-wuwe; she shaww k-knyow of it, by this hand. -Exit -MAWIA. Go shake y-youw eaws. -AGUECHEEK. 'Twewe as good a deed a-as *cuddles you* to dwink *giggles shyly* when a man's a-ahungwy, -to chawwenge him :33 the fiewd, a-and then *screams* to bweak pwomise with him -and make a ^w^ foow of him. -SIW ^.^ TOBY. Do't, knyight. I'ww wwite thee a-a chawwenge; ow I'ww -dewivew :33 thy indignyation t-to him by wowd of mouth. -MAWIA. Sweet Siw >_< Toby, be patient fow to-nyight; since the youth of -the Count's was to-day with ;;w;; my wady, she is much *cuddles you* out o-of quiet. -Fow Monsieuw Mawvowio, wet me awonye *twerks* with >w< him; if I do nyot g-guww -h-him into a nyaywowd, a-and make him a common w-wecweation, do *blushes* nyot -think I have wit enyough to wie stwaight in my bed. I-I knyow I can -do it. -S-SIW >_> TOBY. *cries* Possess us, possess us; t-teww us something of h-him. -M-MAWIA. Mawwy, *twerks* siw, sometimes he is *shuffles closer* a kind of Puwitan. -AGUECHEEK. O, if I thought that, I'd beat him wike a dog. -S-SIW TOBY. What, fow being a Puwitan? Thy exquisite w-weason, deaw -knyight? -AGUECHEEK. I have nyo :33 exquisite weason *shuffles closer* fow't, but I h-have *twerks* weason good -enyough. -MAWIA. The ^w^ deviw xDD a Puwitan that he is, *blushes* ow *hugs tightly* anything *looks away* constantwy but a -time-pweasew; an affection'd ass that cons *cuddles you* state without book and -*giggles shyly* uttews ;;w;; it by gweat swawths; the best pewsuaded :3 of himsewf, so -cwamm'd, a-as he thinks, *sighs* with e-excewwencies that it *leans over* is his gwounds -of faith that aww that w-wook on him wove h-him; *moans* and *leans over* on that ^.^ vice in -him *leans over* wiww my wevenge find nyotabwe cause to wowk. -SIW TOBY. What w-wiwt thou do? -MAWIA. I w-wiww dwop *teleports behind you* in his way some obscuwe epistwes of wove; -whewein, by the c-cowouw of his beawd, the shape of his *cries* weg, the -mannyew of his gait, the e-expwessuwe of his eye, fowehead, and -compwexion, h-he shaww find himsewf most feewingwy pewsonyated. I-I -can wwite v-vewy wike *screams* my *cries* wady, youw nyiece; o-on fowgotten mattew we -can *cries* hawdwy make *moans* distinction of ouw hands. -S-SIW TOBY. Excewwent! x3 I smeww a d-device. -AGUECHEEK. *twerks* I have't in my nyose too. -SIW TOBY. uWu He shaww think, by UwU the *hugs tightly* wettews that t-thou wiwt *cries* dwop, t-that -they come fwom my nyiece, and that she's in wove *twerks* with him. -MAWIA. M-My puwpose is, indeed, a howse of that cowouw. -AGUECHEEK. And :33 youw howse nyow w-wouwd make him an ass. -MAWIA. Ass, *looks at you* I doubt n-nyot. -AGUECHEEK. O, 'twiww be admiwabwe! -MAWIA. *notices bulge* Spowt woyaw, I wawwant you. >_> I knyow m-my physic wiww w-wowk with -him. I wiww p-pwant you ;;w;; two, and wet the foow make a t-thiwd, whewe -he shaww find the *leans over* wettew; obsewve his constwuction o-of it. F-Fow -this nyight, to >w< bed, and dweam on t-the event. Faweweww. -Exit -SIW TOBY. Good *giggles shyly* nyight, Penthesiwea. -*looks away* AGUECHEEK. Befowe me, she's a g-good wench. -SIW *sweats* TOBY. She's a beagwe twue-bwed, and onye that adowes me. -What o' >w< that? -AGUECHEEK. I was *cuddles you* adow'd once too. -:33 SIW uWu TOBY. x3 Wet's to bed, ^.^ knyight. Thou hadst nyeed send fow xDD mowe -monyey. -*moans* AGUECHEEK. I-If I *looks at you* cannyot wecovew youw nyiece, I-I am a fouw way out. -SIW TOBY. ^.^ Send f-fow monyey, knyight; if thou hast *pokes you* hew nyot i' *looks at you* th' end, ->w< caww me Cut. -:3 AGUECHEEK. If I d-do nyot, nyevew twust me; take it >_< how :3 you wiww. -SIW TOBY. *leans over* Come, come, I'ww go buwn some sack; 'tis too wate to go -to bed nyow. Come, knyight; *teleports behind you* come, knyight. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -T-The DUKE'S pawace - -Entew DUKE, VIOWA, CUWIO, *cries* and OTHEWS - -DUKE. G-Give me some music. Nyow, good mowwow, fwiends. -Nyow, good Cesawio, b-but that piece of song, -*screams* That o-owd *looks at you* and antique song we h-heawd wast nyight; -Methought it did wewieve my passion much, -Mowe than wight a-aiws and wecowwected tewms -Of t-these *moans* most bwisk and giddy-paced t-times. -Come, ^w^ but onye vewse. -CUWIO. He ;;w;; is nyot hewe, so pwease >_> youw wowdship, *pokes you* that shouwd s-sing -i-it. -DUKE. Who was it? -CUWIO. Feste, the jestew, my wowd; a foow that *sighs* the Wady Owivia's -*giggles shyly* fathew took much >_< dewight i-in. He is about the house. ->w< DUKE. S-Seek him out, a-and pway the tunye t-the *sighs* whiwe. -Exit CUWIO. [-[Music pways] -OwO Come hithew, boy. *teleports behind you* If evew *leans over* thou *looks away* shawt :33 wove, -In *sighs* the s-sweet pangs of xDD it wemembew m-me; -F-Fow such as I am aww t-twue wovews awe, -Unstaid and skittish *leans over* in x3 aww motions ewse -*twerks* Save in t-the *pokes you* constant image of :3 the c-cweatuwe -That is b-bewov'd. How *pokes you* dost ^w^ thou wike t-this tunye? -*looks at you* VIOWA. *notices bulge* It gives a vewy echo to the s-seat -Whewe Wove is thwon'd. -DUKE. Thou dost speak mastewwy. -My w-wife *twerks* upon't, young though thou *notices bulge* awt, thinye eye -Hath stay'd u-upon some favouw that it woves; -Hath it nyot, boy? -V-VIOWA. A wittwe, by youw favouw. -DUKE. What kind of *hugs tightly* woman is't? -VIOWA. *teleports behind you* Of youw compwexion. -DUKE. *hugs tightly* She is n-nyot wowth ^-^ thee, then. What yeaws, i' faith? -*teleports behind you* VIOWA. About youw yeaws, my wowd. -DUKE. Too owd, by heaven! Wet stiww the *blushes* woman t-take -An e-ewdew uWu than hewsewf; so :33 weaws she *screams* to him, -So sways she wevew in hew h-husband's h-heawt. -F-Fow, boy, *sighs* howevew we do pwaise o-ouwsewves, -Ouw fancies *sweats* awe mowe giddy and unfiwm, -Mowe wonging, *looks away* wavewing, soonyew wost and won, -Than women's a-awe. -VIOWA. I think it :3 weww, my wowd. -DUKE. *sweats* Then wet thy *sighs* wove be youngew than thysewf, -Ow thy affection cannyot OwO howd the bent; -Fow women awe ^-^ as woses, whose faiw fwow'w -Being o-once dispway'd doth faww that vewy houw. -VIOWA. A-And >_< so they awe; a-awas, that *giggles shyly* they *looks away* awe so! -To die, >_< even *cries* when they to pewfection gwow! - -We-entew CUWIO and CWOWN - -D-DUKE. O, xDD fewwow, c-come, the song we *leans over* had *twerks* wast nyight. -Mawk it, Cesawio; :33 it is owd and pwain; -*shuffles closer* The spinstews and the k-knyittews in the sun, -And the fwee maids that *moans* weave theiw >w< thwead with bonyes, -Do use t-to chant *twerks* it; it is siwwy sooth, -A-And d-dawwies with the innyocence of ;;w;; wove, -:33 Wike the >_> owd age. -CWOWN. Awe you weady, siw? -DUKE. Ay; pwithee, sing. [Music] - -FESTE'S S-SONG - -Come away, come away, d-death; -^-^ And in sad cypwess wet me be waid; -Fwy away, fwy away, bweath, -I UwU am swain by *notices bulge* a faiw *looks away* cwuew *twerks* maid. -My shwoud of white, stuck aww with *hugs tightly* yew, -O, pwepawe it! -My pawt of death nyo o-onye *teleports behind you* so twue -Did shawe it. - -Nyot a fwowew, nyot a fwowew sweet, -On OwO my xDD bwack coffin wet thewe b-be *giggles shyly* stwown; -Nyot a f-fwiend, nyot a fwiend gweet -*moans* My poow c-cowpse whewe *looks away* my ^w^ bonyes s-shaww be thwown; -A thousand *looks away* thousand to save, -Way me, O, whewe -Sad twue wovew nyevew f-find ^w^ my g-gwave, -To w-weep thewe! - -DUKE. Thewe's :3 fow t-thy pains. -CWOWN. Nyo pains, siw; I take pweasuwe *looks at you* in singing, siw. -DUKE. I'ww pay *shuffles closer* thy pweasuwe, then. -CWOWN. Twuwy, siw, a-and pweasuwe wiww be paid onye time ow anyothew. -*giggles shyly* DUKE. Give :33 me nyow weave to weave *pokes you* thee. -CWOWN. Nyow the *giggles shyly* mewanchowy god pwotect thee; a-and the taiwow make thy -*blushes* doubwet of changeabwe taffeta, fow thy mind is *pokes you* a *sweats* vewy o-opaw. *leans over* I -wouwd UwU have men of such constancy put to sea, that theiw businyess -might be e-evewything, and theiw intent evewywhewe: *teleports behind you* fow that's i-it -that awways makes a good voyage of *cuddles you* nyothing. Faweweww. -Exit *hugs tightly* CWOWN -DUKE. Wet aww ^.^ the west give pwace. -^.^ Exeunt C-CUWIO and ATTENDANTS -*giggles shyly* Once mowe, ^-^ Cesawio, -G-Get thee to yond *cries* same soveweign cwuewty. -Teww hew my wove, mowe nyobwe >_> than the ^.^ wowwd, -Pwizes nyot quantity of diwty wands; -The pawts that fowtunye h-hath bestow'd u-upon hew, -Teww hew I howd as *pokes you* giddiwy as Fowtunye; -But 'tis that miwacwe and queen of gems -That Nyatuwe pwanks hew >w< in attwacts my *moans* souw. -VIOWA. But if she cannyot wove you, siw? -*pokes you* DUKE. I-I *hugs tightly* cannyot be ^-^ so answew'd. -VIOWA. Sooth, but you must. -Say that some wady, as ^w^ pewhaps thewe i-is, -Hath fow y-youw wove as gweat *shuffles closer* a pang of *leans over* heawt -*cuddles you* As >w< you have *looks at you* fow Owivia. You cannyot wove hew; -You teww hew so. M-Must she *giggles shyly* nyot then *hugs tightly* be a-answew'd? -*looks at you* DUKE. Thewe is nyo woman's x3 sides -Can bide the beating of >_< so s-stwong *looks at you* a passion -As ^-^ wove doth give my heawt; nyo woman's heawt -So big to howd so much; x3 they wack wetention. -Awas, theiw wove may OwO be UwU caww'd *sweats* appetite- -Nyo motion x3 of the wivew, but the pawate- ->w< That s-suffew suwfeit, cwoyment, a-and wevowt; -But minye is aww a-as hungwy as the sea, -And can digest as m-much. Make nyo compawe -*looks away* Between :33 that wove a :3 woman can beaw me -And that I o-owe Owivia. -VIOWA. A-Ay, but I-I knyow- -DUKE. What dost thou knyow? -VIOWA. Too weww what wove women *notices bulge* to men may owe. -In uWu faith, they awe as *screams* twue o-of heawt as we. -M-My fathew had a daughtew *sweats* wov'd a *blushes* man, -As *notices bulge* it might *hugs tightly* be p-pewhaps, wewe *pokes you* I a woman, -I-I shouwd youw w-wowdship. -DUKE. *screams* And >_< what's hew *cries* histowy? -VIOWA. A bwank, xDD my wowd. She nyevew *giggles shyly* towd hew wove, -But w-wet conceawment, wike a wowm i' th' bud, -Feed on hew damask cheek. She pin'd in thought; -And with a *shuffles closer* gween and yewwow mewanchowy -She sat wike P-Patience on a monyument, -Smiwing a-at x3 gwief. Was nyot this wove indeed? -We men may say mowe, sweaw mowe, b-but indeed -xDD Ouw >_< shows awe mowe than wiww; fow stiww we pwove -*pokes you* Much in ouw vows, but wittwe in ouw wove. -DUKE. But died thy sistew of hew wove, my boy? -VIOWA. I a-am aww t-the daughtews >_< of my fathew's house, -A-And *notices bulge* aww the b-bwothews too- and yet I knyow nyot. -Siw, shaww I t-to *teleports behind you* this w-wady? -DUKE. Ay, t-that's t-the theme. -To hew in haste. Give h-hew this jewew; say -My wove can give nyo pwace, bide nyo *hugs tightly* denyay. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE V. -OWIVIA'S gawden - -Entew SIW *twerks* TOBY, SIW ANDWEW, a-and *sighs* FABIAN - -SIW TOBY. C-Come thy ways, Signyiow Fabian. -FABIAN. UwU Nyay, I'ww ^-^ come; if I wose a scwupwe o-of t-this >w< spowt wet me be -*hugs tightly* boiw'd *cries* to death with mewanchowy. -SIW TOBY. Wouwdst thou OwO nyot be gwad ;;w;; to have the *looks at you* nyiggawdwy wascawwy -sheep-bitew come by some *cuddles you* nyotabwe *teleports behind you* shame? -*blushes* FABIAN. I-I wouwd exuwt, man; you xDD knyow he bwought m-me out o' favouw -with my wady about a-a b-beaw-baiting hewe. -S-SIW TOBY. To angew h-him w-we'ww uWu have the beaw again; and we wiww ^.^ foow -him bwack and bwue- shaww *hugs tightly* we *notices bulge* nyot, S-Siw *cuddles you* Andwew? -AGUECHEEK. And we do nyot, i-it is p-pity of ouw wives. - -Entew MAWIA - -S-SIW T-TOBY. Hewe comes the wittwe viwwain. -How nyow, my metaw of India! -MAWIA. *looks away* Get ye aww thwee >w< into the box-twee. Mawvowio's *giggles shyly* coming down -this wawk. He has b-been yondew i' the sun pwactising b-behaviouw to -his *looks at you* own shadow this *cuddles you* hawf houw. Obsewve him, fow *giggles shyly* the *moans* wove of -mockewy, f-fow I knyow this wettew wiww make a ^w^ contempwative idiot -of him. Cwose, *looks at you* in the nyame :33 of jesting! [As OwO the men h-hide she dwops -a-a wettew] Wie thou t-thewe; fow hewe comes the twout that m-must ;;w;; be -caught with tickwing. -E-Exit - -Entew MAWVOWIO - -MAWVOWIO. '-'Tis but fowtunye; aww is fowtunye. Mawia ^.^ once towd me she -did affect me; and I have heawd h-hewsewf come ^w^ thus nyeaw, that, -*cuddles you* shouwd she x3 fancy, it shouwd be onye of m-my compwexion. Besides, ^-^ she -uses me with a mowe e-exawted wespect ^w^ than any onye ewse that -f-fowwows hew. What shouwd I *sighs* think on't? -SIW TOBY. *twerks* Hewe's an *shuffles closer* ovewweenying wogue! -FABIAN. O, p-peace! Contempwation makes a wawe tuwkey-cock of h-him; -how he j-jets undew his advanc'd p-pwumes! -A-AGUECHEEK. 'Swight, I couwd so beat the w-wogue- -SIW T-TOBY. Peace, I say. -MAWVOWIO. T-To be Count M-Mawvowio! -SIW TOBY. Ah, ;;w;; wogue! -AGUECHEEK. Pistow him, pistow him. -SIW TOBY. Peace, >_> peace! -MAWVOWIO. Thewe *shuffles closer* is exampwe fow't: the Wady of the Stwachy mawwied -the yeoman of the wawdwobe. -AGUECHEEK. Fie on him, *leans over* Jezebew! -FABIAN. O, peace! *shuffles closer* Nyow he's deepwy :3 in; wook x3 how imaginyation bwows -him. -MAWVOWIO. Having been *hugs tightly* thwee months mawwied to hew, sitting in my -state- -SIW *pokes you* TOBY. O, fow a stonye-bow to h-hit him in *teleports behind you* the eye! -MAWVOWIO. Cawwing *notices bulge* my *sighs* officews a-about me, in m-my bwanch'd vewvet gown, -having come fwom a day-bed- whewe I uWu have w-weft Owivia sweeping- -*teleports behind you* SIW TOBY. Fiwe and bwimstonye! -F-FABIAN. O, peace, peace! -MAWVOWIO. And then to have the humouw of state; and a-aftew a demuwe -twavew of *screams* wegawd, tewwing them I knyow my pwace as I w-wouwd *giggles shyly* they -shouwd do *sighs* theiws, to ask f-fow *cries* my k-kinsman Toby- -SIW TOBY. Bowts and shackwes! -FABIAN. O, peace, peace, >_> peace! Nyow, nyow. -MAWVOWIO. Seven *teleports behind you* of my *notices bulge* peopwe, with an obedient s-stawt, make o-out fow -him. I fwown the whiwe, and pewchance wind up my watch, ow *looks away* pway -*pokes you* with >w< my- *notices bulge* some wich jewew. Toby appwoaches; cuwtsies thewe to m-me- -*sweats* SIW TOBY. Shaww this f-fewwow w-wive? -FABIAN. Though *moans* ouw siwence b-be d-dwawn fwom us with caws, uWu yet peace. -MAWVOWIO. *hugs tightly* I extend my hand to him ^w^ thus, quenching my famiwiaw *cuddles you* smiwe ->_> with an *sighs* austewe *notices bulge* wegawd of ^-^ contwow- -SIW TOBY. And does nyot Toby take you a-a b-bwow o' the w-wips then? -MAWVOWIO. Saying 'Cousin Toby, *twerks* my *sweats* fowtunyes having cast me on youw -nyiece give me this pwewogative of speech'- -S-SIW TOBY. W-What, what? -MAWVOWIO. 'You must a-amend youw dwunkennyess'- -SIW TOBY. :3 Out, scab! -FABIAN. Nyay, patience, o-ow w-we bweak the sinyews o-of o-ouw p-pwot. -*notices bulge* MAWVOWIO. *moans* 'Besides, you waste the tweasuwe of youw ^.^ time with a -foowish knyight'- -A-AGUECHEEK. That's me, I w-wawwant you. -MAWVOWIO. 'Onye Siw x3 Andwew.' -A-AGUECHEEK. I knyew 'twas I; fow many *notices bulge* do caww me foow. -MAWVOWIO. What empwoyment have we hewe? -[Taking up the wettew] -FABIAN. Nyow is the woodcock nyeaw the *hugs tightly* gin. -SIW TOBY. *looks away* O, peace! And the ^-^ spiwit of humouws intimate weading -a-awoud to him! -MAWVOWIO. By my wife, this is my wady's hand: these be hew *moans* vewy -C's, hew U's, and hew T-T's; and *hugs tightly* thus makes she hew gweat P's. It -is, i-in c-contempt of *leans over* question, hew *twerks* hand. -AGUECHEEK. Hew C's, hew U's, and hew T's. Why that? -MAWVOWIO. [Weads] 'To *screams* the unknyown >_> bewov'd, this, and my good -wishes.' Hew v-vewy phwases! By youw weave, wax. Soft! And the -impwessuwe hew Wucwece with which she uses to seaw; 'tis my w-wady. -T-To whom *screams* shouwd this be? -FABIAN. This wins him, wivew and aww. -MAWVOWIO. [Weads] - ->w< Jove knyows I wove, -*screams* But who? -Wips, do nyot move; -Nyo man m-must knyow.' - -'Nyo man must knyow.' What fowwows? The nyumbews awtew'd! -'Nyo man must knyow.' If this shouwd be >_< thee, M-Mawvowio? -SIW TOBY. Mawwy, *giggles shyly* hang *looks away* thee, bwock! -MAWVOWIO. [Weads] - -*leans over* 'I may command whewe I adowe; -But siwence, wike a *blushes* Wucwece knyife, -With bwoodwess stwoke my heawt doth gowe; -M. O. A. I. doth sway my wife.' - -x3 FABIAN. A fustian widdwe! -SIW TOBY. Excewwent wench, say *cuddles you* I. -MAWVOWIO. 'M. O. A. I. doth sway my wife.' -Nyay, but f-fiwst wet me see, wet me see, wet me s-see. -FABIAN. What dish o' p-poison h-has she dwess'd him! -SIW T-TOBY. And w-with w-what wing :3 the stanyiew checks at it! -M-MAWVOWIO. '-'I may ^-^ command w-whewe I-I *leans over* adowe.' >w< Why, she may command me: I -*screams* sewve hew; she is m-my wady. Why, this is e-evident to *leans over* any fowmaw -capacity; thewe is nyo obstwuction i-in t-this. And the end- what -shouwd that awphabeticaw p-position p-powtend? >w< If I c-couwd make that -wesembwe something in me. Softwy! M. O. A. I.- -SIW :33 TOBY. O-O, a-ay, *cries* make up that! *blushes* He *leans over* is nyow at a cowd scent. -x3 FABIAN. Sowtew wiww cwy upon't >_< fow a-aww *screams* this, though ;;w;; it be *leans over* as wank -a-as a fox. -MAWVOWIO. M-M- M-Mawvowio; M- why, t-that begins my nyame. -FABIAN. Did nyot I say he xDD wouwd w-wowk *teleports behind you* it out? -The cuw is excewwent at ^w^ fauwts. -MAWVOWIO. M- ;;w;; But then thewe is nyo consonyancy in the sequew; that -*cries* suffews u-undew pwobation: A shouwd fowwow, but O does. ->w< FABIAN. And *leans over* O shaww end, I hope. -SIW TOBY. Ay, ow I'ww *screams* cudgew him, and m-make him cwy 'O!' -MAWVOWIO. And then I comes :3 behind. -FABIAN. Ay, an y-you had any eye behind you, you might see mowe -detwaction at youw heews than fowtunyes *cries* befowe you. -MAWVOWIO. M. O. A. I. This s-simuwation is nyot as the fowmew; a-and -yet, to cwush t-this a wittwe, it *cries* wouwd xDD bow OwO to me, fow *screams* evewy onye of -these >_< wettews awe in my nyame. *giggles shyly* Soft! hewe f-fowwows pwose. -[Weads] -*looks at you* 'If this f-faww into thy hand, wevowve. *shuffles closer* In my staws I am above -thee; b-but be n-nyot afwaid of gweatnyess. Some awe *looks away* bown gweat, some -achieve gweatnyess, ;;w;; and some *teleports behind you* have gweatnyess thwust upon 'em. Thy -Fates open *notices bulge* theiw h-hands; wet thy bwood and spiwit embwace them; -and, to inyuwe thysewf *giggles shyly* to what thou *sighs* awt wike ^w^ to *shuffles closer* be, c-cast thy -humbwe swough and appeaw fwesh. Be opposite OwO with a kinsman, s-suwwy -w-with sewvants; wet thy ;;w;; tongue t-tang awguments of state; put ->_< thysewf into the twick xDD of s-singuwawity. She thus advises thee that -*shuffles closer* sighs fow thee. Wemembew who commended thy yewwow stockings, and -x3 wish'd to see thee evew cwoss-gawtew'd. I say, wemembew, Go to, -thou awt made, if t-thou desiw'st to *screams* be s-so; if nyot, wet me see thee -*sweats* a s-stewawd *pokes you* stiww, *sighs* the f-fewwow of sewvants, and nyot wowthy to touch -Fowtunye's *pokes you* fingews. *twerks* Faweweww. She that w-wouwd awtew sewvices with -thee, -THE FOWTUNyATE-UNHAPPY.' - -Daywight and champain *giggles shyly* discovews nyot m-mowe. >_> This is open. :33 I wiww be -pwoud, I *teleports behind you* wiww wead powitic a-authows, I wiww baffwe Siw Toby, I -wiww wash off gwoss acquaintance, I-I wiww be point-devise the vewy -man. I do nyot nyow foow *looks at you* mysewf to wet imaginyation *leans over* jade m-me; fow -*leans over* evewy weason excites to this, that my w-wady *screams* woves me. S-She did -commend my yewwow stockings x3 of wate, she d-did pwaise my weg being -cwoss-gawtew'd; and in this she manyifests hewsewf *moans* to my wove, and -with *leans over* a kind of injunction dwives me *looks at you* to t-these *looks away* habits of hew -wiking. I *looks away* thank my staws I am happy. I *shuffles closer* wiww b-be stwange, stout, in -yewwow s-stockings, and cwoss-gawtew'd, even w-with t-the swiftnyess *looks at you* of -putting on. *blushes* Jove a-and my s-staws be *looks away* pwaised! Hewe i-is yet a -postscwipt. - -[Weads] 'Thou canst nyot choose but k-knyow *moans* who I *screams* am. ^-^ If *twerks* thou -entewtain'st my wove, wet UwU it appeaw in thy smiwing; t-thy smiwes -become thee weww. T-Thewefowe i-in my pwesence stiww smiwe, *blushes* deaw my -sweet, I-I pwithee.' - -J-Jove, I thank *shuffles closer* thee. I wiww smiwe; I wiww do *notices bulge* evewything that thou -wiwt have m-me. Exit -FABIAN. I-I wiww n-nyot give my pawt of this spowt fow a >_< pension of -thousands to be paid ^.^ fwom t-the Sophy. -SIW TOBY. I couwd mawwy t-this *leans over* wench fow t-this device. -AGUECHEEK. So couwd I too. -SIW TOBY. And a-ask nyo othew dowwy with hew but such anyothew jest. - -Entew M-MAWIA - -AGUECHEEK. Nyow I nyeithew. -UwU FABIAN. ^-^ Hewe c-comes my nyobwe guww-catchew. -SIW TOBY. Wiwt t-thou set thy foot *blushes* o' my nyeck? -AGUECHEEK. Ow o' m-minye eithew? -*screams* SIW TOBY. Shaww I pway ^w^ my fweedom at tway-twip, and become thy -b-bond-swave? -AGUECHEEK. I' faith, ow *notices bulge* I eithew? -SIW TOBY. Why, thou hast ^w^ put him in *notices bulge* such a dweam that when the -image *hugs tightly* of i-it weaves him ;;w;; he must wun mad. -M-MAWIA. Nyay, but say t-twue; does i-it wowk upon him? -SIW *screams* TOBY. Wike aqua-vita! w-with a midwife. -AIAWIA. If *teleports behind you* you wiww then see the fwuits of the spowt, mawk his -fiwst *hugs tightly* appwoach befowe my wady. He wiww come to hew in yewwow -stockings, *teleports behind you* and 'tis a cowouw she abhows, a-and cwoss-gawtew'd, a -*moans* fashion ^.^ she detests; and h-he wiww smiwe upon hew, which wiww nyow -be so unsuitabwe t-to hew disposition, being a-addicted *shuffles closer* to a -mewanchowy a-as she *cuddles you* is, that i-it cannyot but tuwn him i-into a nyotabwe -^.^ contempt. *twerks* If you wiww see it, fowwow me. -SIW TOBY. T-To the *blushes* gates uWu of Tawtaw, thou most excewwent deviw of wit! -AGUECHEEK. I'ww make onye too. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -*twerks* ACT III. SCENyE I. -OWIVIA'S gawden - -Entew VIOWA, and CWOWN with a-a tabow - -VIOWA. S-Save thee, fwiend, and thy music! -Dost x3 thou w-wive by thy tabow? -CWOWN. UwU Nyo, siw, I w-wive by the UwU chuwch. -VIOWA. Awt thou a chuwchman? -CWOWN. Nyo such mattew, siw: I do wive by the chuwch; fow I do wive -at my ;;w;; house, :3 and my house doth stand by :3 the chuwch. -VIOWA. S-So thou m-mayst say the king wies by *looks at you* a beggaw, if a beggaw -dweww n-nyeaw him; ow the chuwch stands by thy t-tabow, if *cries* thy tabow -stand by the chuwch. -*hugs tightly* CWOWN. You have said, siw. To see this age! A s-sentence is but a -c-chev'wiw gwove to >_< a good wit. How quickwy the w-wwong side may be -tuwn'd outwawd! -V-VIOWA. Nyay, that's *screams* cewtain; they that dawwy nyicewy with wowds may -quickwy make *shuffles closer* them UwU wanton. -*sighs* CWOWN. I wouwd, t-thewefowe, my sistew had *teleports behind you* had nyame, siw. -V-VIOWA. Why, man? -CWOWN. Why, siw, *shuffles closer* hew nyame's a wowd; and to dawwy with that *twerks* wowd -might make my *hugs tightly* sistew wanton. B-But indeed wowds awe vewy wascaws -since bonds disgwac'd t-them. -VIOWA. Thy weason, man? -CWOWN. Twoth, siw, I can yiewd you nyonye without wowds, and wowds -awe gwown so fawse I am woath to xDD pwove weason with them. -V-VIOWA. *shuffles closer* I >w< wawwant thou awt *cries* a mewwy fewwow and caw'st OwO fow nyothing. -x3 CWOWN. N-Nyot so, s-siw; I do cawe fow something; but in my conscience, -siw, I do nyot cawe fow you. If that be to c-cawe fow nyothing, siw, -I wouwd it wouwd *looks at you* make y-you invisibwe. -VIOWA. Awt nyot UwU thou the Wady O-Owivia's UwU foow? -CWOWN. Nyo, i-indeed, siw; the Wady *shuffles closer* Owivia *teleports behind you* has nyo fowwy; she wiww *hugs tightly* keep -nyo foow, siw, tiww s-she be mawwied; and foows a-awe *shuffles closer* as wike husbands -as piwchews a-awe to hewwings- the husband's the biggew. I am -indeed ;;w;; nyot hew foow, *pokes you* but hew cowwuptew of wowds. -VIOWA. I *blushes* saw thee *hugs tightly* wate at the Count Owsinyo's. -*cuddles you* CWOWN. Foowewy, siw, does wawk *sweats* about the owb wike *screams* the s-sun- uWu it -shinyes evewywhewe. I wouwd b-be sowwy, s-siw, but the foow shouwd be -as oft with youw mastew as with my mistwess: think I saw youw -wisdom t-thewe. -VIOWA. *pokes you* Nyay, an thou pass u-upon me, I'ww nyo mowe with thee. -H-Howd, thewe's expenses fow thee. [Giving a coin] -CWOWN. Nyow Jove, in his n-nyext commodity of haiw, uWu send the a beawd! -VIOWA. By my twoth, I'ww t-teww xDD thee, I am a-awmost sick f-fow onye; -[Aside] though I :3 wouwd nyot have *blushes* it gwow o-on my chin.- Is thy wady -within? -*sweats* CWOWN. Wouwd *notices bulge* nyot a *hugs tightly* paiw of these have *teleports behind you* bwed, siw? -V-VIOWA. *sighs* Yes, being kept t-togethew and p-put to use. -CWOWN. I *teleports behind you* wouwd pway Wowd Pandawus of Phwygia, siw, to bwing a -Cwessida to this Twoiwus. -VIOWA. I undewstand you, siw; 'tis weww b-begg'd. -[Giving anyothew coin] -CWOWN. The *leans over* mattew, I hope, *looks at you* is nyot gweat, siw, begging but a beggaw: -Cwessida was xDD a b-beggaw. *shuffles closer* My wady is *screams* within, s-siw. I w-wiww constwue to -them whence y-you come; who *teleports behind you* you ^w^ awe and what you wouwd a-awe *pokes you* out of -my wewkin- I m-might say 'ewement' but the wowd is ovewwown. -Exit CWOWN -VIOWA. This fewwow is >_< wise e-enyough to uWu pway the foow; -And t-to do that weww c-cwaves a-a kind of wit. -*blushes* He :3 must obsewve t-theiw mood on w-whom he jests, -The quawity of pewsons, and the time; -And, wike the haggawd, check at evewy feathew -T-That comes befowe his eye. This *twerks* is a-a pwactice -As fuww o-of wabouw a-as a wise m-man's *moans* awt; -Fow fowwy that *notices bulge* he wisewy shows is *leans over* fit; -But w-wise men, fowwy-faww'n, quite taint theiw wit. - -E-Entew SIW TOBY and S-SIW ANDWEW - -SIW TOBY. Save you, gentweman! -VIOWA. *sighs* And you, *giggles shyly* siw. -A-AGUECHEEK. Dieu vous gawde, monsieuw. -VIOWA. Et vous aussi; votwe sewviteuw. -A-AGUECHEEK. I hope, *notices bulge* siw, *sighs* you awe; and I am youws. -SIW T-TOBY. Wiww you e-encountew the house? M-My *cries* nyiece i-is *twerks* desiwous you -s-shouwd entew, if youw *blushes* twade b-be t-to hew. -VIOWA. I am bound to y-youw nyiece, siw; I mean, she i-is the wist of my -*notices bulge* voyage. -SIW TOBY. Taste youw wegs, siw; put them *shuffles closer* to motion. -VIOWA. My w-wegs *teleports behind you* do bettew undewstand me, siw, uWu than I >_> undewstand what -you mean by *shuffles closer* bidding me taste my wegs. -SIW TOBY. I mean, to ^-^ go, siw, *hugs tightly* to entew. -*moans* VIOWA. I wiww answew you w-with g-gait :33 and entwance. But w-we awe -pwevented. - -E-Entew OWIVIA and MAWIA - -Most excewwent a-accompwish'd wady, the heavens wain odouws on *teleports behind you* you! -uWu AGUECHEEK. That youth's *looks away* a *sweats* wawe couwtiew- 'Wain odouws' weww! -VIOWA. My mattew hath nyo voice, wady, b-but t-to youw own most pwegnyant -and vouchsafed caw. -AGUECHEEK. 'Odouws,' 'pwegnyant,' and 'vouchsafed'- I'ww get 'em *leans over* aww -thwee aww weady. -OWIVIA. Wet the gawden d-doow be *moans* shut, and weave m-me to my ^w^ heawing. -[-[Exeunt aww but OWIVIA and VIOWA] Give m-me youw *moans* hand, s-siw. -VIOWA. My duty, madam, and m-most humbwe sewvice. -OWIVIA. What i-is youw nyame? -VIOWA. C-Cesawio is youw *giggles shyly* sewvant's nyame, faiw Pwincess. -OWIVIA. My sewvant, siw! 'Twas nyevew m-mewwy wowwd -Since OwO wowwy feignying w-was caww'd compwiment. -Y'awe s-sewvant to the Count Owsinyo, youth. -x3 VIOWA. *blushes* And he is youws, a-and his must nyeeds be y-youws: -*looks at you* Youw sewvant's sewvant is youw sewvant, madam. -OWIVIA. Fow him, I think *giggles shyly* nyot on ;;w;; him; fow his thoughts, -Wouwd they wewe bwanks wathew than f-fiww'd with m-me! -VIOWA. Madam, I-I come to w-whet youw gentwe thoughts -On his behawf. -OWIVIA. O-O, by OwO youw *cries* weave, I pway you: -I bade you *moans* nyevew speak again of him; -But, wouwd you undewtake anyothew suit, -I *moans* had wathew heaw UwU you to sowicit that -Than music fwom >_> the s-sphewes. -VIOWA. *looks at you* Deaw wady- -OWIVIA. Give me weave, *moans* beseech you. I-I did send, -Aftew the wast enchantment you did hewe, -A wing in *blushes* chase of you; so did I *sighs* abuse -Mysewf, my s-sewvant, and, I feaw me, you. ->_> Undew >_< youw hawd constwuction ^.^ must I sit, -To f-fowce that on you in a shamefuw cunnying ->_< Which you knyew nyonye of *twerks* youws. *sighs* What *twerks* might you t-think? -H-Have you nyot set m-minye honyouw :33 at the stake, -And b-baited i-it with aww th' unmuzzwed thoughts ->w< That tywannyous heawt can think? To o-onye of youw weceiving -Enyough ^w^ is >_> shown: a cypwess, *cries* nyot a bosom, -Hides uWu my h-heawt. So, wet me heaw y-you speak. -V-VIOWA. >_> I Pity YOU. -OWIVIA. That's a degwee ^.^ to wove. -VIOWA. *sweats* Nyo, n-nyot a gwize; fow 'tis a-a vuwgaw pwoof -T-That vewy oft we pity enyemies. -OWIVIA. Why, then, methinks '-'tis *notices bulge* time to smiwe again. -O wowwd, how a-apt *sweats* the poow *cries* awe to be pwoud! -If *screams* onye shouwd be a pwey, how *shuffles closer* much the bettew -To faww befowe the wion than ^w^ the wowf! [-[Cwock stwikes] -*giggles shyly* The cwock x3 upbwaids me with the waste xDD of time. -Be nyot afwaid, good youth; I *notices bulge* wiww nyot *cries* have you; -And *cuddles you* yet, when wit OwO and youth *notices bulge* is come to hawvest, -Youw wife is w-wike to weap a-a pwopew UwU man. -Thewe wies y-youw way, due west. -VIOWA. Then westwawd-ho! -Gwace and good disposition *cries* attend youw wadyship! -You'ww :33 nyothing, madam, to my :3 wowd by me? -OWIVIA. Stay. -I p-pwithee teww me what t-thou think'st of me. -V-VIOWA. That *cries* you d-do think you awe nyot what x3 you ;;w;; awe. ->w< OWIVIA. If I think so, I think the s-same of you. -VIOWA. Then *cries* think you *looks away* wight: I am nyot what I am. -OWIVIA. I wouwd you OwO wewe a-as I wouwd have you b-be! -V-VIOWA. Wouwd i-it be b-bettew, :33 madam, than I *shuffles closer* am? -I wish it might, fow n-nyow I am youw foow. -OWIVIA. O, what a deaw of scown w-wooks b-beautifuw -I-In t-the contempt *sighs* and a-angew of his wip! -*looks at you* A muwd'wous guiwt shows nyot itsewf mowe soon -Than wove *giggles shyly* that wouwd seem hid: *sweats* wove's nyight is nyoon. -Cesawio, b-by t-the w-woses of *leans over* the *twerks* spwing, -B-By maidhood, honyouw, twuth, a-and ;;w;; evewy t-thing, -I wove t-thee s-so that, xDD maugwe aww thy pwide, -Nyow wit nyow weason *sighs* can my passion h-hide. -Do nyot extowt *blushes* thy weasons fwom this ^.^ cwause, -Fow uWu that I woo, thou t-thewefowe >w< hast n-nyo cause; -But wathew w-weason thus w-with weason fettew: -Wove sought is good, but given unsought is bettew. -VIOWA. >_< By innyocence *giggles shyly* I sweaw, and by my youth, -I have onye heawt, onye ^.^ bosom, and *pokes you* onye *shuffles closer* twuth, -A-And that nyo woman has; nyow ^-^ nyevew n-nyonye -Shaww mistwess be of it, save I-I awonye. -A-And so *cries* adieu, good m-madam; n-nyevew mowe -Wiww I my mastew's teaws ^-^ to *teleports behind you* you *looks at you* depwowe. -OWIVIA. *hugs tightly* Yet c-come again; fow thou xDD pewhaps mayst move -That heawt which nyow abhows to wike h-his wove. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-II. -OWIVIA'S *sighs* house - -Entew SIW TOBY, SIW ANDWEW a-and FABIAN - -UwU AGUECHEEK. Nyo, faith, *hugs tightly* I'ww nyot stay a *sighs* jot OwO wongew. -SIW TOBY. Thy weason, deaw *giggles shyly* venyom, give thy *looks away* weason. -FABIAN. You must nyeeds yiewd youw weason, Siw *sighs* Andwew. -AGUECHEEK. Mawwy, I saw youw nyiece do mowe favouws to *screams* the Count's -sewvingman than >w< evew she bestow'd upon me; *moans* I saw't *sweats* i' th' -owchawd. -*screams* SIW *hugs tightly* TOBY. D-Did s-she see thee the *screams* whiwe, owd boy? *giggles shyly* Teww me that. -AGUECHEEK. As pwain a-as I-I see you nyow. -FABIAN. This was a gweat *moans* awgument of wove in *sweats* hew t-towawd you. -AGUECHEEK. '-'Swight! wiww ^w^ you make an ass o-o' me? -FABIAN. I wiww *looks away* pwove i-it wegitimate, siw, upon *shuffles closer* the *moans* oaths o-of >_> judgment -and weason. -SIW TOBY. And they have b-been gwand-juwymen since befowe Nyoah was a -saiwow. -FABIAN. She did show favouw to the youth in youw sight onwy to -*shuffles closer* exaspewate you, to awake youw ^w^ dowmouse vawouw, to put fiwe i-in -*hugs tightly* youw heawt and :33 bwimstonye in *sighs* youw wivew. You shouwd then have -accosted h-hew; and with some excewwent *screams* jests, fiwe-nyew fwom the -mint, you s-shouwd *shuffles closer* have xDD bang'd the youth into dumbnyess. >w< This w-was -wook'd fow at youw *twerks* hand, and this was b-bauwk'd. The doubwe giwt of -this o-oppowtunyity you w-wet time wash off, and y-you *blushes* awe nyow saiw'd -*shuffles closer* into the nyowth of my wady's opinyion; whewe you wiww h-hang wike an -i-icicwe *moans* on Dutchman's beawd, unwess you *shuffles closer* do *notices bulge* wedeem it by some -waudabwe attempt e-eithew of vawouw ow powicy. -AGUECHEEK. *twerks* An't be any *blushes* way, it m-must be with vawouw, *moans* fow powicy I -hate; I had as wief be a Bwownyist a-as a powitician. -*cuddles you* SIW TOBY. Why, then, buiwd *cuddles you* me thy fowtunyes upon the basis of -vawouw. Chawwenge me the *screams* Count's youth to fight with him; h-huwt -him i-in eweven OwO pwaces. My nyiece *hugs tightly* shaww take nyote of it; a-and ;;w;; assuwe -thysewf thewe is >_< nyo wove-bwokew in the w-wowwd can mowe pwevaiw in -man's *teleports behind you* commendation w-with woman than wepowt o-of vawouw. -FABIAN. *sighs* Thewe is n-nyo way but this, Siw Andwew. -*sweats* AGUECHEEK. Wiww eithew of you beaw me a chawwenge to him? -;;w;; SIW TOBY. OwO Go, xDD wwite it *pokes you* in UwU a mawtiaw hand; be cuwst and bwief; ^-^ it is -nyo mattew how witty, so it be ewoquent and ^w^ fuww of OwO invention. -*looks at you* Taunt him with the *looks away* wicense *cries* of *cuddles you* ink; *teleports behind you* if thou thou'st ^.^ him some -thwice, i-it shaww nyot be amiss; *twerks* and x3 as many wies as wiww wie i-in -t-thy s-sheet of papew, awthough the sheet wewe big enyough fow *teleports behind you* the -bed of Wawe in *pokes you* Engwand, set 'em down; go *leans over* about it. Wet ;;w;; thewe be -gaww enyough in t-thy ink, *teleports behind you* though thou w-wwite with a goose-pen, nyo -mattew. A-About it. -AGUECHEEK. W-Whewe shaww I find *cries* you? -SIW TOBY. We'ww caww thee a-at *twerks* the cubicuwo. Go. -Exit SIW ANDWEW -F-FABIAN. This is a deaw m-manyakin to you, S-Siw Toby. -*looks at you* SIW TOBY. I h-have been deaw to him, wad- some *looks at you* two thousand s-stwong, -ow so. -F-FABIAN. We shaww have a wawe wettew OwO fwom him; x3 but you'ww nyot -*sweats* dewivew't? -S-SIW TOBY. Nyevew twust me t-then; and by aww means s-stiw on the youth -to a-an *notices bulge* answew. I think oxen and wainwopes cannyot hawe t-them -togethew. Fow ;;w;; Andwew, i-if he *shuffles closer* wewe open'd and you find so much -bwood >_> in h-his wivew as wiww c-cwog the foot of a fwea, I'ww ;;w;; eat the -w-west of th' *pokes you* anyatomy. -^.^ FABIAN. And his opposite, ^-^ the y-youth, beaws in his visage nyo gweat -pwesage of cwuewty. - -Entew MAWIA - -SIW TOBY. Wook whewe the youngest w-wwen of nyinye comes. -MAWIA. *looks at you* If you desiwe >_> the spween, and wiww waugh youwsewves into -*blushes* stitches, fowwow me. Yond guww Mawvowio is tuwnyed heathen, a ^-^ vewy -wenyegado; fow thewe is n-nyo *moans* Chwistian t-that means *hugs tightly* to be saved by -b-bewieving wightwy UwU can evew bewieve such impossibwe passages of -gwossnyess. He's i-in yewwow s-stockings. -SIW TOBY. And cwoss-gawtew'd? -M-MAWIA. M-Most *giggles shyly* viwwainyouswy; wike a p-pedant t-that keeps a schoow i' th' -chuwch. I have dogg'd him wike his muwdewew. He does obey *sweats* evewy -point of t-the wettew that I dwopp'd to betway him. He *cries* does smiwe -h-his face *notices bulge* into mowe winyes than is in the n-nyew map *looks away* with :3 the -augmentation o-of the Indies. You have nyot *looks at you* seen such a thing a-as -'-'tis; I OwO can hawdwy fowbeaw huwwing t-things at him. I knyow my wady -wiww *hugs tightly* stwike him; if she do, h-he'ww smiwe and take't fow a *sweats* gweat -favouw. -SIW *screams* TOBY. Come, *teleports behind you* bwing *cuddles you* us, bwing us whewe *blushes* he is. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -A stweet - -Entew SEBASTIAN and A-ANTONyIO - -S-SEBASTIAN. I wouwd nyot by my wiww have *blushes* twoubwed *hugs tightly* you; -B-But since you make *sighs* youw *shuffles closer* pweasuwe of youw pains, -I wiww nyo fuwthew chide you. -^w^ ANTONyIO. I *shuffles closer* couwd nyot stay b-behind you: my d-desiwe, -Mowe *moans* shawp t-than fiwed steew, did spuw me fowth; -And nyot aww wove to see you- though so *leans over* much -As might have dwawn *looks at you* onye t-to *sweats* a wongew voyage- -*hugs tightly* But jeawousy what might befaww youw twavew, -Being skiwwess in these pawts; which to a stwangew, -Unguided and unfwiended, o-often pwove -Wough a-and u-unhospitabwe. My wiwwing *cuddles you* wove, -T-The wathew by these awguments of feaw, -Set fowth in youw puwsuit. -SEBASTIAN. My kind Antonyio, -I c-can nyo othew answew make but thanks, -*moans* And thanks, and evew thanks; a-and oft good t-tuwns -Awe shuffw'd off *teleports behind you* with such uncuwwent pay; -^-^ But w-wewe m-my wowth a-as is uWu my conscience fiwm, -You *sighs* shouwd find bettew deawing. What's to do? -^w^ Shaww we g-go s-see the wewiques o-of this town? -*leans over* ANTONyIO. To-mowwow, *hugs tightly* siw; best *cries* fiwst *cries* go see UwU youw wodging. -*screams* SEBASTIAN. *cries* I *twerks* am nyot weawy, and 'tis wong to nyight; -*hugs tightly* I pway y-you, wet us satisfy ouw eyes -With the memowiaws a-and the things of :33 fame -That d-do wenyown this city. -ANTONyIO. Wouwd you'd pawdon me. -I *cries* do *cries* nyot without dangew ^w^ wawk these stweets: -Once in a sea-fight '-'gainst t-the C-Count his gawweys -I did some sewvice; *giggles shyly* of s-such nyote, i-indeed, -That, wewe I *shuffles closer* ta'en h-hewe, i-it *twerks* wouwd scawce be answew'd. -SEBASTIAN. B-Bewike *leans over* you x3 swew gweat nyumbew of *teleports behind you* his peopwe. -ANTONIO.Th' offence is nyot of s-such a bwoody *cries* nyatuwe; -xDD Awbeit the quawity of t-the *blushes* time *screams* and quawwew -Might weww have g-given us bwoody awgument. -It might have since been answew'd in wepaying -What we xDD took f-fwom them; which, fow twaffic's *cries* sake, -Most of ouw city did. Onwy m-mysewf stood out; -Fow which, if I be wapsed in this pwace, -I shaww pay deaw. -SEBASTIAN. Do nyot then w-wawk too o-open. -ANTONyIO. It doth nyot f-fit me. Howd, siw, *hugs tightly* hewe's my puwse; -I-In t-the *hugs tightly* south subuwbs, at the Ewephant, -Is best to wodge. I >_< wiww bespeak o-ouw diet, -Whiwes you beguiwe the time *twerks* and feed *cries* youw knyowwedge -UwU With viewing of the town; thewe shaww you have ^.^ me. -SEBASTIAN. Why I youw *pokes you* puwse? -ANTONyIO. H-Hapwy youw eye *looks away* shaww w-wight *shuffles closer* upon some toy -You h-have desiwe to puwchase; and y-youw stowe, -I *hugs tightly* think, is nyot fow idwe >_< mawkets, siw. -SEBASTIAN. UwU I'ww be *sighs* youw p-puwse-beawew, and weave you *screams* fow -*looks at you* An houw. -ANTONyIO. To th' Ewephant. -SEBASTIAN. I d-do wemembew. Exeunt - - - - -*giggles shyly* SCENyE IV. -OWIVIA'S gawden - -E-Entew O-OWIVIA and MAWIA - -OWIVIA. *notices bulge* I have sent a-aftew him; *cries* he says *cries* he'ww come. -How shaww I feast him? What >_< bestow of him? -Fow youth i-is bought mowe o-oft than begg'd ow bowwow'd. -I speak too woud. -Whewe's Mawvowio? He is sad and civiw, -And s-suits *hugs tightly* weww fow a s-sewvant *cries* with my OwO fowtunyes. -W-Whewe is Mawvowio? -^w^ MAWIA. He's coming, madam; but in vewy stwange mannyew. -He is suwe *twerks* possess'd, madam. -OWIVIA. Why, what's t-the mattew? Does *giggles shyly* he wave? -MAWIA. *sweats* Nyo, *cuddles you* madam, he does nyothing but *giggles shyly* smiwe. Youw wadyship wewe -b-best to have some *leans over* guawd about y-you if he c-come; fow suwe the m-man is -tainted in's wits. -OWIVIA. Go caww him *looks away* hithew. Exit MAWIA -I am as mad as he, -If sad and mewwy m-madnyess equaw >w< be. - -We-entew MAWIA with M-MAWVOWIO - -^-^ How nyow, Mawvowio! -:3 MAWVOWIO. Sweet w-wady, ho, h-ho. -OWIVIA. Smiw'st thou? -*sweats* I sent fow thee upon ^w^ a sad occasion. -x3 MAWVOWIO. Sad, >w< wady? I couwd be sad. This d-does make some -*cuddles you* obstwuction in the bwood, this cwoss-gawtewing; *hugs tightly* but what of >_> that? -If it pwease the eye of onye, it i-is with me *giggles shyly* as the v-vewy twue -s-sonnyet is: 'Pwease ^.^ onye and pwease aww.' -OWIVIA. Why, how dost thou, man? *cries* What xDD is the mattew with thee? -MAWVOWIO. *blushes* Nyot bwack in ^-^ my *teleports behind you* mind, though yewwow in *looks away* my wegs. -It did come to his hands, *looks away* and commands ^.^ shaww be executed. -I think we do knyow the sweet Woman hand. -OWIVIA. Wiwt thou go to bed, Mawvowio? -MAWVOWIO. To bed? Ay, sweetheawt, and I'ww come to thee. -OWIVIA. God comfowt t-thee! Why d-dost thou smiwe so, and kiss *leans over* thy hand -s-so o-oft? -MAWIA. How do you, Mawvowio? -MAWVOWIO. At youw wequest? Yes, n-nyightingawes answew daws! -MAWIA. Why appeaw you with this widicuwous bowdnyess befowe my wady? -MAWVOWIO. ^.^ 'Be n-nyot afwaid of gweatnyess.' '-'Twas weww wwit. -OWIVIA. What mean'st thou b-by that, *hugs tightly* Mawvowio? -AIAWVOWIO. 'Some awe bown gweat,'- -OWIVIA. Ha? -*sighs* MAWVOWIO. 'Some achieve gweatnyess,'- -UwU OWIVIA. W-What say'st thou? -MAWVOWIO. 'And some have gweatnyess thwust upon them.' -OWIVIA. *blushes* Heaven w-westowe thee! -MAWVOWIO. 'Wemembew who *cuddles you* commended thy >_< yewwow UwU stockings,'- -OWIVIA. 'Thy yewwow stockings?' -MAWVOWIO. uWu 'And w-wish'd to s-see thee cwoss-gawtewd.' -OWIVIA. '-'Cwoss-gawtew'd?' -MAWVOWIO. 'Go to, thou an made, if thou desiw'st *moans* to be so';- -OWIVIA. Am *shuffles closer* I m-made? -^.^ MAWVOWIO. '-'If nyot, wet me see thee a UwU sewvant s-stiww.' -OWIVIA. Why, this is v-vewy midsummew m-madnyess. - -Entew SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. Madam, the young gentweman of the Count Owsinyo's *cries* is -wetuwn'd; I couwd UwU hawdwy entweat h-him back; h-he attends youw -*blushes* wadyship's p-pweasuwe. -OWIVIA. I'ww come to him. xDD [Exit SEWVANT] Good Mawia, wet this -fewwow be wook'd t-to. Whewe's my cousin Toby? Wet some o-of my -peopwe have a speciaw cawe of him; I wouwd nyot have him miscawwy -fow t-the hawf o-of my dowwy. -Exeunt *sighs* OWIVIA and MAWIA -MAWVOWIO. O, ho! d-do you come nyeaw m-me *shuffles closer* nyow? Nyo wowse man than Siw -*blushes* Toby to wook *pokes you* to me! This concuws diwectwy with the wettew: she -s-sends him on puwpose, that I m-may appeaw :3 stubbown to *leans over* him; fow s-she -incites me to t-that in the wettew. *blushes* 'Cast thy h-humbwe swough,' says -she. 'Be opposite with kinsman, suwwy with sewvants; wet thy -t-tongue *twerks* tang with awguments of state; put thysewf *sweats* into the :33 twick -xDD of s-singuwawity' and consequentwy sets down the mannyew how, a-as: a -*looks away* sad face, a w-wevewend cawwiage, a swow tongue, in the habit of -*twerks* some siw of nyote, and *looks at you* so *twerks* fowth. I *hugs tightly* have *cuddles you* wim'd hew; but it :3 is -Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankfuw! And when >_> she went a-away -nyow- 'Wet this fewwow be w-wook'd to.' 'Fewwow,' nyot 'Mawvowio' nyow -aftew xDD my degwee, but 'fewwow.' Why, evewything adhewes t-togethew, -:33 that ;;w;; nyo dwam ^.^ of a xDD scwupwe, nyo scwupwe o-of a scwupwe, nyo obstacwe, -nyo incweduwous ow unsafe c-ciwcumstance- What >_> can be said? Nyothing -*teleports behind you* that can be c-can come between me and the fuww pwospect xDD of m-my -*pokes you* hopes. Weww, Jove, nyot I-I, is xDD the doew of this, and he is t-to be -thanked. - -We-entew MAWIA, ^-^ with SIW TOBY *teleports behind you* and FABIAN - -SIW TOBY. Which way is h-he, i-in the n-nyame of sanctity? *pokes you* If aww UwU the -deviws of heww be dwawn i-in wittwe, and Wegion himsewf possess'd ->_> him, yet I'ww speak to him. -FABIAN. H-Hewe *sweats* he is, hewe UwU he UwU is. How is't with you, s-siw? -S-SIW T-TOBY. How is't *looks away* with you, man? -MAWVOWIO. Go off; *giggles shyly* I :3 discawd you. Wet >w< me enjoy my pwivate; go uWu off. -MAWIA. ^.^ Wo, how howwow the fiend speaks within him! Did nyot I teww -you? Siw Toby, my wady *sweats* pways *notices bulge* you t-to have a cawe of him. -MAWVOWIO. Ah, ha! d-does she so? -SIW xDD TOBY. Go to, go to; peace, peace; we *looks away* must deaw gentwy with him. -Wet me a-awonye. How *looks at you* do you, Mawvowio? How is't with you? What, man, -defy the deviw; *looks at you* considew, he's an enyemy *moans* to mankind. -MAWVOWIO. Do you knyow what you say? -MAWIA. Wa you, an you s-speak iww of the deviw, how h-he takes OwO it at -heawt! Pway God h-he be nyot *notices bulge* bewitched. -F-FABIAN. Cawwy his watew to th' wise woman. -MAWIA. Mawwy, and it s-shaww be d-donye to-mowwow mownying, if I w-wive. My -w-wady wouwd nyot wose him fow mowe than I'ww say. -*shuffles closer* MAWVOWIO. How nyow, mistwess! -MAWIA. >w< O Wowd! -S-SIW TOBY. Pwithee howd thy p-peace; this i-is nyot the way. Do you nyot -see you move him? Wet me awonye with him. -FABIAN. *moans* Nyo w-way but *sighs* gentwenyess- gentwy, gentwy. *looks away* The fiend is wough, -and wiww nyot be w-woughwy us'd. -*leans over* SIW *twerks* TOBY. Why, how nyow, my ;;w;; bawcock! -How dost t-thou, chuck? -MAWVOWIO. Siw! -SIW TOBY. Ay, Biddy, come *twerks* with me. *sighs* What, man, '-'tis n-nyot fow gwavity -to p-pway at c-chewwypit w-with Satan. Hang him, fouw cowwiew! -MAWIA. Get h-him to say his pwayews, g-good Siw Toby, get him to pway. -MAWVOWIO. My pwayews, minx! -MAWIA. Nyo, I-I wawwant you, *twerks* he wiww nyot heaw of g-godwinyess. -MAWVOWIO. G-Go, hang y-youwsewves aww! You awe idwe shawwow things; ^-^ I -am n-nyot of youw ewement; y-you UwU shaww knyow mowe *notices bulge* heweaftew. -Exit -SIW TOBY. Is't possibwe? -FABIAN. If this wewe p-pway'd u-upon a stage nyow, I couwd condemn it as -an impwobabwe f-fiction. -SIW TOBY. *sighs* His vewy genyius hath taken the infection of the device, -man. -MAWIA. Nyay, puwsue him nyow, west the device take a-aiw a-and taint. -FABIAN. Why, we shaww m-make h-him mad indeed. -MAWIA. T-The h-house wiww b-be ^w^ the quietew. -*giggles shyly* SIW TOBY. UwU Come, we'ww *notices bulge* have him in a d-dawk woom a-and >_< bound. M-My nyiece -is awweady i-in *looks at you* the *giggles shyly* bewief that he's mad. W-We may cawwy it thus, fow -ouw *moans* pweasuwe and h-his penyance, tiww o-ouw vewy pastime, tiwed *shuffles closer* out of -bweath, p-pwompt us to h-have mewcy o-on him; at which time we wiww -bwing the device to the baw a-and cwown thee fow a findew of -madmen. But s-see, but see. - -Entew SIW *sweats* ANDWEW - -FABIAN. Mowe mattew :3 fow *hugs tightly* a May mownying. -AGUECHEEK. Hewe's the chawwenge; wead it. I wawwant thewe's vinyegaw -and p-peppew in't. -FABIAN. Is't so saucy? -AGUECHEEK. Ay, is't, I wawwant him; do :33 but wead. -SIW TOBY. Give me. [Weads] 'Youth, whatsoevew t-thou awt, thou awt -but a scuwvy f-fewwow.' -FABIAN. Good and vawiant. -S-SIW T-TOBY. [Weads] *sweats* 'Wondew nyot, nyow *notices bulge* admiwe nyot in thy mind, w-why I do -caww thee so, fow I w-wiww show ;;w;; thee nyo w-weason fow't.' -FABIAN. A good nyote; that *pokes you* keeps you fwom the bwow of the *sweats* waw. -SIW TOBY. [Weads] 'Thou com'st *shuffles closer* to the Wady Owivia, and ^.^ in m-my UwU sight -she uses thee kindwy; b-but t-thou wiest in thy thwoat; >_> that is nyot -the mattew I-I ;;w;; chawwenge thee f-fow.' -FABIAN. Vewy bwief, a-and to exceeding good sense- ^w^ wess. -SIW TOBY. [Weads] 'I wiww wayway thee going home; *shuffles closer* whewe if it be -thy chance :3 to k-kiww me'- -FABIAN. Good. -*cuddles you* SIW TOBY. 'Thou ;;w;; kiww'st m-me wike a w-wogue *looks at you* and a viwwain.' -^w^ FABIAN. Stiww you keep :33 o' th' windy side of the waw. Good! -SIW TOBY. [Weads] 'Fawe thee weww; and God OwO have mewcy :33 upon onye of -ouw souws! He may have mewcy upon minye; but my hope is bettew, -and so wook to thysewf. Thy fwiend, as thou usest him, and t-thy -swown enyemy, -ANDWEW *looks at you* AGUECHEEK.' - -If t-this wettew move *giggles shyly* him *giggles shyly* nyot, his w-wegs cannyot. I'ww give't him. -M-MAWIA. *giggles shyly* You may have vewy fit *cries* occasion f-fow't; he is nyow in some -commewce with m-my wady, and wiww b-by and by depawt. -SIW T-TOBY. G-Go, Siw Andwew; OwO scout me *looks away* fow h-him at the cownyew of the -owchawd, wike a bum-baiwy; so >_> soon as evew thou *teleports behind you* seest him, dwaw; -and as thou dwaw'st, sweaw howwibwe; fow it comes to pass oft -that a tewwibwe oath, w-with a swaggewing accent shawpwy twang'd -off, gives manhood mowe appwobation than evew p-pwoof itsewf wouwd -have eawn'd *hugs tightly* him. ^.^ Away. -AGUECHEEK. Nyay, x3 wet me awonye fow sweawing. Exit -SIW TOBY. Nyow wiww n-nyot I dewivew his *teleports behind you* wettew; fow the behaviouw of -the young gentweman gives him out to be of good capacity and -bweeding; x3 his empwoyment b-between his w-wowd and my nyiece *sighs* confiwms -nyo wess. Thewefowe *cuddles you* this wettew, being so excewwentwy ignyowant, -*giggles shyly* wiww bweed nyo tewwow ^.^ in the youth: *screams* he wiww find it comes fwom a -cwodpowe. *looks away* But, *teleports behind you* siw, I *notices bulge* wiww dewivew *moans* his chawwenge by wowd UwU of -mouth, set x3 upon Aguecheek n-nyotabwe wepowt of vawouw, and ;;w;; dwive the -gentweman- a-as >_> knyow his youth wiww aptwy weceive *looks away* it- *shuffles closer* into a m-most -hideous opinyion *shuffles closer* of his wage, skiww, fuwy, and impetuosity. This -wiww so xDD fwight them both that ^-^ they wiww *screams* kiww *looks at you* onye anyothew by the -wook, wike cockatwices. - -We-entew O-OWIVIA. With VIOWA - -*teleports behind you* FABIAN. H-Hewe he comes with *looks at you* youw nyiece; *teleports behind you* give them way tiww he t-take -weave, and pwesentwy aftew *screams* him. -SIW *pokes you* TOBY. *screams* I wiww meditate the whiwe upon some >_< howwid x3 message f-fow a -chawwenge. -Exeunt SIW TOBY, FABIAN, and ^-^ MAWIA ->_> OWIVIA. I have said ;;w;; too much unto *giggles shyly* a heawt o-of stonye, -And waid minye honyouw *sweats* too unchawy out; -Thewe's something >w< in me x3 that wepwoves my fauwt; -But such a headstwong potent f-fauwt *blushes* it is -T-That it but mocks wepwoof. -VIOWA. W-With the same *leans over* haviouw that youw passion beaws -Goes o-on my mastew's gwiefs. -OWIVIA. Hewe, w-weaw *screams* this jewew fow m-me; 'tis ^.^ my pictuwe. -W-Wefuse ^-^ it nyot; it hath nyo tongue to v-vex you. -And I beseech y-you come again to-mowwow. -What shaww you ask of me that I'ww d-deny, -That honyouw sav'd m-may upon asking give? -VIOWA. Nyothing but this- youw twue wove fow OwO my mastew. -O-OWIVIA. How with minye honyouw may I-I give him that -Which I have given to you? -VIOWA. *moans* I w-wiww acquit you. -OWIVIA. W-Weww, come again to-mowwow. Fawe thee weww; -A f-fiend wike thee might beaw my souw to heww. *blushes* Exit - -We-entew SIW TOBY and uWu SIW *cuddles you* FABIAN - -SIW T-TOBY. Gentweman, G-God save thee. -VIOWA. And you, siw. -*notices bulge* SIW TOBY. *looks away* That *teleports behind you* defence >_< thou hast, betake ;;w;; thee >_> tot. Of what ;;w;; nyatuwe -*looks away* the wwongs awe thou hast donye him, I knyow nyot; but thy -i-intewceptew, fuww UwU of >_> despite, bwoody as the ^-^ huntew, attends -thee at the owchawd end. >_< Dismount thy t-tuck, be yawe in thy -pwepawation, fow thy assaiwant is quick, skiwfuw, and d-deadwy. -VIOWA. You uWu mistake, siw; I-I am suwe nyo man hath any quawwew to *hugs tightly* me; -my wemembwance is vewy fwee OwO and cweaw fwom any i-image of offence -donye to *cries* any man. -SIW TOBY. You'ww find it *looks at you* othewwise, I assuwe you; thewefowe, if you -howd youw w-wife at any p-pwice, betake *twerks* you x3 to youw guawd; fow youw -*hugs tightly* opposite hath in *cuddles you* him what youth, stwength, skiww, and w-wwath, can -x3 fuwnyish man withaw. -VIOWA. I-I pway :3 you, OwO siw, what is h-he? -SIW TOBY. xDD He is knyight, *leans over* dubb'd with unhatch'd wapiew and >w< on cawpet -considewation; but he is a deviw in pwivate bwaww. Souws and -bodies hath he d-divowc'd thwee; ^-^ and h-his ^.^ incensement at t-this moment -is so i-impwacabwe that *screams* satisfaction can be nyonye but by pangs of -uWu death and sepuwchwe. Hob-nyob is *hugs tightly* his w-wowd- give't ow take't. -VIOWA. I wiww wetuwn again into the house and desiwe some *cuddles you* conduct -of the w-wady. I am nyo :33 fightew. I-I have heawd of some k-kind of *screams* men -that :33 put quawwews puwposewy o-on othews to taste t-theiw vawouw; -bewike this i-is a-a *sighs* man *twerks* of that quiwk. -SIW TOBY. Siw, nyo; his indignyation dewives itsewf out of *leans over* a v-vewy -competent injuwy; thewefowe, get you on and give him his d-desiwe. -Back you shaww nyot to the house, unwess *giggles shyly* you undewtake that with -*sweats* me which with as much safety you might answew him; thewefowe on, -ow stwip youw swowd stawk nyaked; fow meddwe y-you UwU must, that's -cewtain, ow fowsweaw to weaw iwon about you. -VIOWA. This is as unciviw as stwange. I beseech you do *twerks* me this -couwteous office as to knyow of the knyight what my offence to *hugs tightly* him -is: it is something of my nyegwigence, >_< nyothing of my puwpose. -*looks at you* SIW ^w^ TOBY. I W-Wiww do so. S-Signyiow ;;w;; Fabian, stay you by t-this gentweman -tiww my wetuwn. Exit SIW TOBY -VIOWA. Pway >w< you, siw, d-do you knyow of t-this mattew? -FABIAN. I k-knyow the knyight is incens'd against you, xDD even to a mowtaw -awbitwement; but n-nyothing of *sweats* the c-ciwcumstance mowe. -*sighs* VIOWA. I b-beseech you, *blushes* what mannyew of man is he? -FABIAN. Nyothing of that wondewfuw pwomise, to wead h-him by his fowm, -as you awe wike to find him in the pwoof of his vawouw. He is -indeed, siw, the most skiwfuw, bwoody, and f-fataw *cries* opposite that -you couwd possibwy have *hugs tightly* found *moans* in any pawt of Iwwywia. Wiww you -wawk towawds him? I wiww make youw p-peace with him i-if I can. -V-VIOWA. I shaww be much bound to *moans* you fow't. I am o-onye that wouwd -wathew go with siw ;;w;; pwiest than siw knyight. I cawe n-nyot who knyows -*notices bulge* so much of my mettwe. Exeunt - -W-We-entew *looks away* SIW TOBY xDD With SIW ANDWEW - -S-SIW :3 TOBY. Why, man, he's a vewy d-deviw; I have uWu nyot seen such a -fiwago. *looks away* I had a-a pass with him, wapiew, scabbawd, and aww, a-and h-he -gives me t-the stuck in with such xDD a mowtaw motion that it i-is -inyevitabwe; and ^-^ on the answew, he pays you as suwewy *sweats* as youw feet -hit the g-gwound they step on. T-They say *screams* he has been fencew to the -Sophy. -AGUECHEEK. Pox on't, I'ww nyot meddwe with him. -SIW TOBY. Ay, but he wiww nyot nyow be pacified; Fabian can *shuffles closer* scawce -howd h-him yondew. -AGUECHEEK. Pwague on't; an I >_< thought he uWu had been vawiant, and so -cunnying in fence, I'd have >w< seen him *shuffles closer* damn'd ewe I'd have -chawweng'd him. Wet him wet t-the mattew *notices bulge* swip, and I'ww g-give him -*moans* my howse, gwey Capiwet. -SIW xDD TOBY. I'ww m-make the *cuddles you* motion. Stand hewe, make a good show on't; -this *cries* shaww end without t-the pewdition ;;w;; of ^.^ souws. [Aside] Mawwy, -I'ww wide >w< youw howse as weww as I wide you. - -We-entew FABIAN and VIOWA - -[To FABIAN] I-I h-have his howse t-to take *shuffles closer* up the quawwew; I have -pewsuaded him the youth's a deviw. -FABIAN. [To SIW TOBY] He is x3 as howwibwy conceited of him; and pants -and wooks pawe, as if *leans over* a beaw *cries* wewe at his heews. -:33 SIW TOBY. [-[To VIOWA] Thewe's n-nyo wemedy, >_< siw: he wiww :33 fight with you -*cries* fow's o-oath sake. Mawwy, he hath bettew b-bethought *moans* him of his -quawwew, and he finds x3 that nyow >_> scawce to be wowth tawking of. -Thewefowe dwaw fow >w< the s-suppowtance of his :3 vow; he pwotests he -wiww nyot *leans over* huwt you. -VIOWA. [Aside] Pway God defend me! A-A OwO wittwe t-thing wouwd m-make :33 me -*pokes you* teww them how much I wack of a m-man. -FABIAN. >_> Give gwound if you see h-him fuwious. -SIW TOBY. Come, S-Siw Andwew, thewe's nyo wemedy; the gentweman w-wiww, -fow his h-honyouw's sake, have onye bout with you; he cannyot by the -duewwo avoid *hugs tightly* it; but *hugs tightly* he has p-pwomis'd me, as >_< he is *moans* a gentweman and -a sowdiew, *sighs* he wiww n-nyot huwt ^w^ you. Come o-on; to't. -*screams* AGUECHEEK. Pway G-God he keep his *moans* oath! [They dwaw] - -Entew ANTONyIO - -OwO VIOWA. I do a-assuwe you 'tis against my wiww. -ANTONyIO. Put up youw swowd. If this young gentweman -Have donye offence, I *notices bulge* take the f-fauwt on ;;w;; me: -If you offend him, *sighs* I fow him defy you. -SIW TOBY. You, siw! W-Why, what awe you? -ANTONyIO. Onye, siw, that fow his wove dawes *sighs* yet do mowe -Than y-you have heawd him bwag *screams* to you he wiww. -SIW TOBY. Nyay, if you be an undewtakew, *looks at you* I am fow *cuddles you* you. -*looks away* [They dwaw] - -Entew OFFICEWS - -*sighs* FABIAN. O good Siw uWu Toby, howd! Hewe come the o-officews. -SIW TOBY. [To ANTONyIO] I'ww be with you anyon. -VIOWA. Pway, siw, put uWu youw swowd up, if you >w< pwease. -AGUECHEEK. Mawwy, wiww I, siw; and fow t-that I pwomis'd ;;w;; you, I'ww be -as good as m-my wowd. He wiww beaw you easiwy and weins weww. -FIWST OFFICEW. This is the man; do thy office. -SECOND OFFICEW. Antonyio, I awwest thee at :33 the suit -Of Count Owsinyo. -ANTONyIO. You do mistake me, siw. -FIWST OFFICEW. Nyo, s-siw, nyo j-jot; I knyow youw *cries* favouw weww, -UwU Though n-nyow :33 you have nyo sea-cap on youw head. -Take him away; *giggles shyly* he k-knyows I k-knyow him weww. -ANTONyIO. UwU I Must obey. *notices bulge* [To VIOWA] This c-comes with seeking y-you; -But thewe's nyo wemedy; x3 I shaww answew it. -What wiww you do, nyow my nyecessity -Makes m-me to ask you fow my puwse? It gwieves me -Much mowe fow what I cannyot d-do fow y-you -T-Than what befawws *sweats* mysewf. You stand a-amaz'd; -B-But be of comfowt. -SECOND *screams* OFFICEW. uWu Come, siw, a-away. -ANTONyIO. I *blushes* must entweat of you s-some of that monyey. -V-VIOWA. What monyey, siw? -Fow the faiw kindnyess you have show'd me xDD hewe, -And pawt UwU being pwompted b-by youw pwesent twoubwe, -Out of my wean a-and wow abiwity -I'ww wend you x3 something. My having is nyot *notices bulge* much; -I'ww :3 make *hugs tightly* division of *twerks* my pwesent with y-you; -Howd, thewe's hawf *shuffles closer* my c-coffew. -ANTONyIO. Wiww you deny me nyow? -I-Is't possibwe that my desewts to you -*sweats* Can *shuffles closer* wack pewsuasion? Do nyot t-tempt my misewy, -West that it make me s-so unsound a man -As to upbwaid you with t-those k-kindnyesses -That I *pokes you* have donye fow you. -VIOWA. I ^-^ knyow of nyonye, -N-Nyow knyow I you by voice ^w^ ow any f-featuwe. -xDD I hate *cries* ingwatitude mowe in a man -Than *pokes you* wying, vainnyess, *shuffles closer* babbwing >w< dwunkennyess, -Ow any taint of vice whose *leans over* stwong cowwuption -Inhabits ouw fwaiw bwood. -ANTONyIO. O heavens themsewves! -SECOND OFFICEW. Come, siw, I *looks at you* pway *teleports behind you* you go. -ANTONyIO. Wet me speak a *cuddles you* wittwe. This y-youth that you see hewe -I snyatch'd onye hawf o-out of the OwO jaws of death, -Wewiev'd him *screams* with such OwO sanctity o-of w-wove, -*shuffles closer* And t-to his image, *looks at you* which methought did pwomise -Most venyewabwe w-wowth, did I d-devotion. -FIWST :33 OFFICEW. What's that to :33 us? The time goes b-by; away. -UwU ANTONyIO. But, O, how viwe an idow pwoves >_> this god! -:3 Thou hast, ;;w;; Sebastian, *shuffles closer* donye *cries* good f-featuwe shame. -In nyatuwe thewe's nyo bwemish but >_< the m-mind: -Nyonye can be caww'd defowm'd but the unkind. -Viwtue is beauty; >w< but *hugs tightly* the beauteous eviw -Awe empty twunks, o'ewfwouwish'd by the d-deviw. -*giggles shyly* FIWST OFFICEW. The *pokes you* man gwows mad. Away with him. -Come, come, siw. -ANTONyIO. W-Wead me on. Exit with OFFICEWS -V-VIOWA. Methinks his wowds do fwom *notices bulge* such *looks at you* passion fwy -That he b-bewieves himsewf; so xDD do nyot I. -Pwove twue, imaginyation, O-O, pwove twue, -That I, deaw bwothew, be nyow ta'en fow *pokes you* you! -*leans over* SIW TOBY. Come hithew, knyight; come h-hithew, Fabian; we'ww *giggles shyly* whispew -o'ew a-a coupwet ow *blushes* two of most *pokes you* sage saws. -V-VIOWA. He nyam'd Sebastian. I my bwothew ;;w;; knyow -Yet wiving in ;;w;; my gwass; even s-such a-and so -In favouw was my bwothew; a-and *twerks* he went -Stiww in t-this fashion, cowouw, ownyament, -F-Fow him I imitate. x3 O, if it p-pwove, -Tempests a-awe kind, and sawt w-waves fwesh in *twerks* wove! *giggles shyly* Exit -SIW TOBY. A xDD vewy dishonyest pawtwy boy, and mowe a-a c-cowawd than a -hawe. His ^-^ dishonyesty appeaws in w-weaving his fwiend hewe i-in -nyecessity and denying him; and fow his c-cowawdship, ask Fabian. -FABIAN. A cowawd, a-a most devout cowawd, wewigious in *cries* it. -AGUECHEEK. 'Swid, >w< I'ww aftew h-him again and beat him. -SIW TOBY. x3 Do; cuff him soundwy, but nyevew *looks at you* dwaw thy s-swowd. -AGUECHEEK. ^.^ And I d-do nyot- Exit -FABIAN. Come, wet's see the e-event. -SIW TOBY. I dawe way any monyey 'twiww be n-nyothing yet. -Exeunt - - - - -<-<> - - - -A-ACT *twerks* IV. S-SCENyE I. -Befowe OWIVIA'S house - -Entew S-SEBASTIAN *leans over* and CWOWN - -xDD CWOWN. Wiww you make m-me bewieve t-that I-I am uWu nyot sent fow you? -SEBASTIAN. Go to, go to, thou awt a f-foowish fewwow; w-wet me be cweaw -of thee. -*hugs tightly* CWOWN. Weww *twerks* hewd out, i' faith! N-Nyo, I do nyot knyow you; nyow I am nyot -*notices bulge* sent to you >_> by ^.^ my wady, to bid you come speak with hew; nyow youw -nyame xDD is nyot Mastew *hugs tightly* Cesawio; nyow this is nyot my nyose nyeithew. -N-Nyothing that is so is so. -SEBASTIAN. I p-pwithee vent uWu thy fowwy somewhewe ewse. -Thou k-knyow'st nyot m-me. -CWOWN. V-Vent my fowwy! *pokes you* He has heawd that wowd of some *sighs* gweat man, and -n-nyow appwies it to a-a f-foow. Vent my fowwy! I am afwaid this g-gweat -wubbew, the wowwd, wiww pwove a cocknyey. I-I pwithee nyow, ungiwd -thy s-stwangenyess, and t-teww me what I shaww v-vent to my wady. *moans* Shaww -I vent to hew x3 that thou awt coming? -S-SEBASTIAN. ^.^ I pwithee, f-foowish Gweek, depawt fwom me; -Thewe's monyey fow thee; *screams* if you tawwy wongew -I shaww give wowse payment. -CWOWN. By m-my twoth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that -give foows monyey get themsewves a good wepowt aftew fouwteen -yeaws' puwchase. - -Entew *shuffles closer* SIW ANDWEW, SIW *pokes you* TOBY, and FABIAN - -A-AGUECHEEK. Nyow, siw, have I-I met you *leans over* again? -[Stwiking SEBASTIAN] Thewe's fow you. -SEBASTIAN. Why, thewe's fow t-thee, and thewe, and thewe. -Awe aww the peopwe mad? -S-SIW TOBY. Howd, siw, ^-^ ow *looks away* I'ww thwow y-youw daggew o'ew the house. -[Howding S-SEBASTIAN] -CWOWN. This wiww I teww m-my wady stwaight. I wouwd nyot be in some o-of -youw coats f-fow two-pence. Exit -SIW TOBY. Come on, siw; howd. -AGUECHEEK. Nyay, wet him *looks at you* awonye. I'ww go anyothew w-way to wowk *giggles shyly* with -him; I'ww have an action o-of battewy against *teleports behind you* him, if thewe b-be a-any -waw i-in Iwwywia; though I stwuck h-him f-fiwst, y-yet it's n-nyo *pokes you* mattew fow -that. -SEBASTIAN. Wet go thy hand. -SIW TOBY. Come, siw, I wiww :3 nyot wet you *cuddles you* go. Come, my young sowdiew, -put up youw iwon; you awe w-weww fwesh'd. Come :3 on. -SEBASTIAN. I-I wiww be f-fwee fwom t-thee. What wouwdst thou nyow? -*pokes you* If thou daw'st tempt m-me fuwthew, dwaw thy swowd. ^w^ [Dwaws] -SIW TOBY. What, what? Nyay, then I must *sweats* have an *blushes* ounce ow two of this -*pokes you* mawapewt bwood fwom y-you. [Dwaws] - -Entew *moans* OWIVIA - -OWIVIA. Howd, Toby; on thy w-wife, I chawge thee howd. -SIW TOBY. Madam! -OWIVIA. Wiww it be *notices bulge* evew x3 thus? Ungwacious wwetch, -*sighs* Fit fow the >_< mountains and the bawbawous caves, -Whewe m-mannyews nye'ew wewe pweach'd! Out of my sight! -Be n-nyot offended, deaw Cesawio- -*pokes you* Wudesby, ^.^ be gonye! -Exeunt S-SIW TOBY, SIW ANDWEW, and *screams* FABIAN -I pwithee, g-gentwe fwiend, -Wet t-thy f-faiw wisdom, n-nyot thy passion, *teleports behind you* sway -In this u-unciviw and unjust extent -A-Against thy peace. Go with me *blushes* to my house, -And heaw thou *notices bulge* thewe how many fwuitwess pwanks -This wuffian hath botch'd up, that t-thou t-theweby -Mayst smiwe at *looks away* this. Thou shawt nyot choose but go; -Do nyot deny. Beshwew his souw fow me! -He stawted *cries* onye poow :33 heawt *cuddles you* of minye i-in thee. -SEBASTIAN. What w-wewish is i-in this? How wuns xDD the *blushes* stweam? -Ow I am mad, ow ewse this i-is a dweam. -*teleports behind you* Wet fancy *shuffles closer* stiww my s-sense in Wethe steep; -I-If it be thus to dweam, s-stiww wet me s-sweep! -OWIVIA. Nyay, come, I pwithee. W-Wouwd thou'dst be w-wuw'd by me! -SEBASTIAN. Madam, I wiww. -OWIVIA. O-O, :33 say so, and so be! Exeunt - - - - -*moans* SCENyE II. -OWIVIA'S house - -Entew *teleports behind you* MAWIA *teleports behind you* and CWOWN - -MAWIA. Nyay, I-I pwithee, put *cuddles you* on this gown *leans over* and this beawd; make him -b-bewieve thou awt Siw *blushes* Topas :3 the >_> cuwate; do i-it quickwy. I'ww caww -Siw Toby the whiwst. Exit -C-CWOWN. Weww, I'ww put it on, and :3 I wiww d-dissembwe m-mysewf i-in't; and -I wouwd I wewe the fiwst t-that evew dissembwed *moans* in *moans* such a gown. *shuffles closer* I -a-am *looks at you* nyot taww enyough to become the function w-weww nyow w-wean e-enyough to -*sighs* be t-thought a good *shuffles closer* student; but to *leans over* be s-said an honyest man and *looks at you* a -good housekeepew goes as faiwwy *twerks* as to say a cawefuw m-man and a -gweat schowaw. *looks away* The c-competitows entew. - -Entew SIW TOBY a-and MAWIA - -S-SIW TOBY. Jove bwess thee, Mastew Pawson. ->_> CWOWN. B-Bonyos d-dies, Siw Toby; f-fow as *looks away* the owd hewmit *leans over* of Pwague, that -nyevew saw pen and i-ink, vewy w-wittiwy OwO said *cries* to nyiece :33 of ^.^ King -Gowboduc 'That that is is'; so I, being Mastew *moans* Pawson, am *moans* Mastew -Pawson; fow what is 'that' but that, and 'is' but is? -SIW T-TOBY. To him, S-Siw Topas. -CWOWN. *moans* What ho, I say! Peace in this pwison! -SIW TOBY. The knyave countewfeits w-weww; a good knyave. -OwO MAWVOWIO. [Within] Who cawws *sighs* thewe? -CWOWN. Siw Topas the cuwate, who *shuffles closer* comes to visit Mawvowio the -wunyatic. -x3 MAWVOWIO. Siw Topas, Siw *looks away* Topas, *screams* good Siw Topas, go t-to ;;w;; my wady. -CWOWN. Out, hypewbowicaw f-fiend! How v-vexest t-thou this man! -Tawkest thou *twerks* nyothing but of wadies? -*sweats* SIW TOBY. *sweats* Weww said, Mastew Pawson. -M-MAWVOWIO. *pokes you* Siw Topas, nyevew was m-man t-thus wwonged. Good S-Siw Topas, do -nyot think I am mad; t-they have waid me hewe in hideous dawknyess. -CWOWN. Fie, >w< thou *screams* dishonyest Satan! I-I caww thee by t-the most m-modest -tewms, fow I am onye of those gentwe onyes OwO that wiww use t-the deviw -himsewf with *shuffles closer* couwtesy. Say'st thou that h-house is dawk? -M-MAWVOWIO. >_< As heww, Siw Topas. -CWOWN. Why, i-it hath bay windows twanspawent as ;;w;; bawwicadoes, and the -cwewestowies towawd t-the south nyowth awe as wustwous as e-ebony; and -yet *looks at you* compwainyest thou of obstwuction? -MAWVOWIO. I am nyot mad, *looks at you* Siw Topas. I say to you *cuddles you* this house is dawk. -CWOWN. Madman, ^-^ thou ewwest. I x3 say thewe is *notices bulge* nyo dawknyess but -ignyowance; in which thou awt m-mowe puzzwed than the Egyptians i-in -theiw fog. -MAWVOWIO. I say this house is a-as dawk as ignyowance, though -*moans* ignyowance wewe as dawk >w< as heww; and I-I s-say thewe was nyevew man -thus abus'd. I-I a-am n-nyo mowe mad t-than you awe; make the twiaw ^w^ of it -in any constant question. -CWOWN. What is the opinyion of >w< Pythagowas concewnying wiwd foww? -MAWVOWIO. That *looks away* the :3 souw o-of *cuddles you* ouw g-gwandam might hapwy inhabit a biwd. -CWOWN. What think'st thou of his o-opinyion? -MAWVOWIO. *moans* I think *cries* nyobwy of the souw, and :3 nyo way appwove his -^-^ opinyion. -CWOWN. Fawe thee weww. *leans over* Wemain thou stiww in xDD dawknyess: thou shawt -howd th' xDD opinyion *screams* of *sweats* Pythagowas e-ewe I wiww awwow of thy wits; and -feaw to kiww xDD a woodcock, west thou dispossess the :3 souw of *cries* thy -gwandam. Fawe thee weww. -MAWVOWIO. Siw Topas, Siw Topas! -S-SIW TOBY. My most *blushes* exquisite Siw Topas! -CWOWN. Nyay, I am fow a-aww UwU watews. -MAWIA. Thou mightst have donye this w-without thy beawd a-and gown: *giggles shyly* he -s-sees thee nyot. -SIW x3 TOBY. To him in *cuddles you* thinye own voice, OwO and bwing me wowd how thou -find'st him. I-I wouwd w-we wewe weww wid of this knyavewy. If h-he may -be convenyientwy :3 dewivew'd, I-I wouwd he *twerks* wewe; fow I am nyow so faw -in offence with my nyiece ^w^ that I *looks at you* cannyot puwsue with any safety -t-this spowt to the *cuddles you* upshot. Come by and by to my chambew. -Exit with MAWIA -CWOWN. *teleports behind you* [Sings] Hey, W-Wobin, jowwy Wobin, -Teww me >_> how thy wady does. -MAWVOWIO. Foow! -CWOWN. [-[Sings] My wady is unkind, pewdy. -MAWVOWIO. Foow! -CWOWN. [Sings] Awas, why is she so? -MAWVOWIO. F-Foow I xDD say! -CWOWN. [Sings] She woves *hugs tightly* anyothew- W-Who cawws, ha? -MAWVOWIO. Good foow, as evew t-thou wiwt desewve w-weww at my hand, -hewp me to a candwe, and pen, ink, and papew; as *moans* I am a -gentweman, I w-wiww wive to *blushes* be *blushes* thankfuw to thee *blushes* fow't. -CWOWN. Mastew Mawvowio? -MAWVOWIO. Ay, good foow. -CWOWN. Awas, *sighs* siw, how feww you besides youw five w-wits? -MAWVOWIO. Foow, thewe was nyevew man ^.^ so nyotowiouswy a-abus'd; -I am as weww in my wits, foow, a-as thou awt. -CWOWN. But a-as weww? T-Then y-you awe mad i-indeed, if uWu you be n-nyo bettew in -youw wits than a foow. -MAWVOWIO. They have h-hewe pwopewtied me; *hugs tightly* keep m-me in dawknyess, send -minyistews to me, asses, a-and do aww t-they can to face ;;w;; me out of my -wits. -C-CWOWN. *looks away* Advise you what. you *cries* say: the minyistew is h-hewe. -[Speaking as SIW TOPAS] Mawvowio, thy *looks away* wits the heavens westowe! -*looks at you* Endeavouw thysewf to sweep, and w-weave thy vain bibbwe-babbwe. -MAWVOWIO. Siw Topas! -CWOWN. Maintain nyo wowds with him, good fewwow.- ;;w;; Who, I, siw? Nyot -I, siw. *blushes* God buy you, good Siw Topas.- Mawwy, amen.- I wiww siw, I -wiww. -MAWVOWIO. Foow, foow, foow, I say! -CWOWN. Awas, siw, be patient. What say you, siw? I am shent fow -speaking to OwO you. -MAWVOWIO. Good foow, hewp m-me to some wight and some papew. -I teww thee I-I am as weww in my wits as any *cries* man in *screams* Iwwywia. -CWOWN. Weww-a-day that you wewe, siw! -MAWVOWIO. By t-this hand, *sighs* I am. Good f-foow, some ink, papew, and ->_> wight; a-and convey what *notices bulge* I wiww set d-down to my wady. It shaww -UwU advantage thee mowe than *twerks* evew the beawing of wettew did. -CWOWN. I wiww hewp y-you to't. B-But teww me twue, awe you nyot *blushes* mad -indeed, ow do you but countewfeit? -MAWVOWIO. Bewieve me, I a-am nyot; I teww t-thee twue. -CWOWN. *pokes you* Nyay, I'ww nye'ew bewieve a *moans* madman tiww I see *screams* his bwains. -UwU I wiww fetch you wight and papew and ink. -MAWVOWIO. Foow, ^w^ I'ww wequite it in the highest *pokes you* degwee; I pwithe be -gonye. -CWOWN. [Singing] -I am x3 gonye, siw, -And anyon, siw, -I-I'ww be with *blushes* you again, -In a-a twice, -*looks at you* Wike to t-the o-owd V-Vice, -Youw nyeed to sustain; - -uWu Who with daggew of wath, -In his wage and *looks away* his wwath, -Cwies, Ah, ha! t-to the deviw, -W-Wike a mad wad, -*shuffles closer* Pawe thy nyaiws, dad. -Adieu, goodman deviw. Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -OWIVIA'S *twerks* gawden - -Entew SEBASTIAN - -*pokes you* SEBASTIAN. This is *looks at you* the *notices bulge* aiw; that *pokes you* is the gwowious s-sun; -This peaww UwU she gave *blushes* me, I-I do feew't and see't; -And though 'tis wondew that enwwaps me UwU thus, -Yet 'tis nyot madnyess. Whewe's Antonyio, t-then? -*screams* I couwd nyot find him a-at t-the Ewephant; -Yet thewe he was; and :3 thewe I found this cwedit, -That h-he *shuffles closer* did wange uWu the town to seek me o-out. -His counsew nyow might do me gowden sewvice; -^-^ Fow though my souw disputes w-weww with my sense -That *sweats* this may be *looks at you* some ewwow, but *hugs tightly* nyo madnyess, -Yet doth this a-accident and fwood of fowtunye -So faw exceed aww instance, aww discouwse, -T-That I am weady to distwust minye eyes -And wwangwe *pokes you* with my weason, t-that pewsuades me -To any ^w^ othew ;;w;; twust but that I am mad, -Ow ewse the wady's mad; yet if 'twewe s-so, -She couwd nyot sway hew house, c-command hew fowwowews, -Take and give back affaiws *sweats* and theiw dispatch -*looks at you* With such a UwU smooth, *twerks* discweet, and stabwe beawing, -As I pewceive she does. Thewe's something in't -That is deceivabwe. B-But *sighs* hewe :33 the wady *notices bulge* comes. - -Entew *blushes* OWIVIA and PWIEST - -OWIVIA. Bwame nyot this haste of minye. If you mean weww, -*looks at you* Nyow go w-with me and with this howy man -Into the >w< chantwy by; thewe, befowe him -And undewnyeath that consecwated *screams* woof, -Pwight me the :3 fun a-assuwance o-of y-youw faith, -That my m-most jeawous and too doubtfuw souw -M-May wive at peace. He s-shaww conceaw it -Whiwes you OwO awe wiwwing it shaww come to nyote, -What time we wiww ouw cewebwation keep -Accowding ^-^ to my biwth. What do you say? -SEBASTIAN. I'ww fowwow this good man, and go with you; -And, h-having swown twuth, evew wiww be twue. -OWIVIA. Then wead the way, good fathew; and h-heavens so shinye -That they may faiwwy *looks away* nyote t-this act o-of minye! Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT V. *looks at you* SCENyE I. -Befowe OWIVIA's :3 house - -Entew C-CWOWN and FABIAN - -FABIAN. Nyow, as thou wov'st me, wet me *looks at you* see his wettew. -CWOWN. Good Mastew F-Fabian, gwant me anyothew wequest. -FABIAN. Anything. -*looks away* CWOWN. Do nyot desiwe to see t-this *sighs* wettew. -FABIAN. This is to *sighs* give a-a dog, and in wecompense *sighs* desiwe my dog -again. - -Entew ^w^ DUKE, *giggles shyly* VIOWA, CUWIO, and WOWDS - -DUKE. B-Bewong *notices bulge* you t-to the *twerks* Wady O-Owivia, fwiends? -CWOWN. *looks at you* Ay, *blushes* siw, we awe some of *looks away* hew *twerks* twappings. -D-DUKE. I knyow thee weww. How d-dost xDD thou, my good f-fewwow? -CWOWN. *pokes you* Twuwy, *teleports behind you* siw, t-the bettew fow my foes and the wowse fow my -fwiends. -DUKE. Just the contwawy: the b-bettew f-fow thy fwiends. ->_< CWOWN. Nyo, siw, the wowse. -DUKE. How can that be? -C-CWOWN. Mawwy, siw, they pwaise me and *shuffles closer* make an a-ass of me. Nyow :3 my -f-foes teww m-me pwainwy I am an ass; so that >_< by ^w^ my foes, siw, I -:3 pwofit in the k-knyowwedge of mysewf, and by my fwiends I-I a-am abused; -so that, c-concwusions *cries* to be as kisses, if >_< youw fouw nyegatives make -youw t-two affiwmatives, w-why then, the wowse f-fow my f-fwiends, and -the b-bettew fow m-my >w< foes. -DUKE. Why, this is excewwent. -CWOWN. By m-my t-twoth, siw, nyo; ;;w;; though it pwease you to b-be onye of my -f-fwiends. -DUKE. Thou shawt n-nyot *shuffles closer* be *twerks* the wowse fow *giggles shyly* me. *cuddles you* Thewe's gowd. -CWOWN. But that *looks away* it wouwd *leans over* be doubwe-deawing, siw, I wouwd you couwd -make it anyothew. -DUKE. O, you *teleports behind you* give xDD me iww *looks at you* counsew. -CWOWN. Put youw gwace in youw pocket, :3 siw, *sweats* fow this once, and wet -youw f-fwesh and *looks away* bwood obey *sweats* it. -DUKE. Weww, I wiww be so much a sinnyew to be a doubwe-deawew. -Thewe's ^.^ anyothew. -CWOWN. Pwimo, secundo, tewtio, is a *looks away* good pway; and the owd s-saying -*leans over* is 'The thiwd pays fow aww.' The twipwex, siw, is *blushes* a good uWu twipping -measuwe; ow the bewws of Saint Bennyet, siw, may put you *blushes* in mind- -onye, two, thwee. -DUKE. You can foow nyo mowe m-monyey out of me at this thwow; if *teleports behind you* you -wiww wet youw w-wady k-knyow I am hewe to speak with hew, and bwing -hew a-awong *twerks* with you, it may awake *screams* my bounty fuwthew. -CWOWN. Mawwy, *twerks* siw, wuwwaby *leans over* to youw bounty tiww ^.^ I c-come again. I go, -s-siw; but I wouwd nyot have you to think *pokes you* that my desiwe of having -is t-the s-sin of covetousnyess. But, a-as you say, siw, wet :3 youw *blushes* bounty -take a-a nyap; I wiww a-awake it anyon. Exit - -Entew ANTONyIO and OFFICEWS - -VIOWA. Hewe c-comes *looks at you* the man, ^-^ siw, that *leans over* did wescue UwU me. -*cries* DUKE. That face UwU of h-his I do wemembew weww; -Yet when I *screams* saw *sighs* it wast it was besmeaw'd -UwU As bwack as Vuwcan ^w^ in the *sweats* smoke of waw. -A b-baubwing vessew was he captain of, -Fow shawwow d-dwaught *screams* and buwk unpwizabwe, -With ^w^ which s-such scathfuw gwappwe did he make -*sweats* With the m-most nyobwe bottom of ouw *leans over* fweet -That *leans over* vewy envy and the tongue :3 of wos -Cwied f-fame and honyouw on him. What's the mattew? -FIWST OFFICEW. Owsinyo, this is t-that Antonyio -That took the P-Phoenyix and *giggles shyly* hew fwaught fwom Candy; -And this is he that did the Tigew boawd -When youw y-young UwU nyephew Titus wost his weg. -Hewe in the stweets, despewate of shame and state, -In pwivate bwabbwe did we appwehend him. -VIOWA. He did me kindnyess, siw; dwew on my side; -But in concwusion ;;w;; put stwange speech upon *hugs tightly* me. -I k-knyow nyot what 'twas but distwaction. -DUKE. N-Nyotabwe piwate, thou *hugs tightly* sawt-watew thief! -What foowish bowdnyess bwought thee to theiw mewcies -Whom thou, in tewms so bwoody and *screams* so deaw, -Hast *twerks* made thinye enyemies? -ANTONyIO. Owsinyo, nyobwe siw, -Be pweas'd ^w^ that I shake off these nyames y-you give me: -Antonyio nyevew yet was thief ow piwate, -Though I confess, on base and ^.^ gwound :3 enyough, -Owsinyo's enyemy. A *notices bulge* witchcwaft *giggles shyly* dwew me hithew: -That most ingwatefuw boy thewe by *shuffles closer* youw *blushes* side -Fwom the wude *hugs tightly* sea's enwag'd a-and f-foamy mouth -Did I-I wedeem; a wweck past hope he was. -His wife I gave him, and did theweto UwU ad -My *notices bulge* wove without w-wetention ow westwaint, -Aww his in dedication; fow his sake, -Did I expose mysewf, puwe f-fow his wove, -Into t-the dangew of this advewse t-town; -Dwew to defend h-him when he w-was beset; -Whewe *pokes you* being appwehended, his fawse cunnying, -Nyot meanying to pawtake with me in d-dangew, -Taught him to face me out x3 of his acquaintance, -And gwew a twenty yeaws wemoved thing -Whiwe onye wouwd wink; denyied *teleports behind you* me minye own puwse, -Which ^.^ I had wecommended t-to his *teleports behind you* use -Nyot hawf *teleports behind you* an OwO houw befowe. ->w< VIOWA. How can *screams* this be? -DUKE. *cuddles you* When came *cuddles you* he t-to t-this town? -*looks at you* ANTONyIO. To-day, my wowd; and fow thwee months *screams* befowe, -Nyo int'wim, nyot a uWu minyute's vacancy, -*moans* Both day *cries* and nyight did we *sighs* keep c-company. - -Entew OWIVIA and ATTENDANTS - -DUKE. Hewe comes the C-Countess; nyow heaven wawks *blushes* on eawth. -But fow thee, f-fewwow- fewwow, thy w-wowds awe madnyess. -Thwee months *twerks* this youth hath tended upon me- -But >_< mowe of that anyon. Take h-him aside. -OWIVIA. *giggles shyly* What wouwd my wowd, but that >_< he *sweats* may *cuddles you* nyot have, -Whewein Owivia may seem sewviceabwe? -Cesawio, *leans over* you do nyot keep pwomise with me. -VIOWA. Madam? -D-DUKE. Gwacious *cuddles you* Owivia- -*cries* OWIVIA. What do you say, Cesawio? Good my *pokes you* wowd- -*looks away* VIOWA. My wowd wouwd speak; m-my duty hushes me. -OWIVIA. If it be aught to the xDD owd tunye, my w-wowd, -It is as fat and fuwsome to minye eaw -As howwing *screams* aftew music. -UwU DUKE. Stiww s-so cwuew? -O-OWIVIA. *looks away* Stiww so constant, wowd. -DUKE. W-What, to pewvewsenyess? You unciviw wady, -To whose ingwate and unyauspicious awtaws -My souw the faithfuww'st off'wings hath bweath'd out -That e'ew devotion tendew'd! *twerks* What shaww I do? -OWIVIA. ^.^ Even w-what it pwease *giggles shyly* my wowd, that shaww become him. -DUKE. Why shouwd I nyot, had *notices bulge* I the heawt to do it, -Wike uWu to *cuddles you* the Egyptian t-thief at point of death, -K-Kiww what I wove?- *cries* a savage jeawousy -That sometime savouws nyobwy. But ^.^ heaw m-me this: -Since *leans over* you to n-nyon-wegawdance *teleports behind you* cast my faith, -A-And that I pawtwy knyow *notices bulge* the instwument -*giggles shyly* That scwews me fwom m-my twue *cuddles you* pwace in youw favouw, -Wive you the mawbwe-bweasted tywant stiww; -But this youw minyion, whom I knyow *shuffles closer* you wove, -And whom, by heaven I sweaw, I tendew d-deawwy, -Him wiww I teaw out *looks at you* of that *notices bulge* cwuew eye -Whewe he sits cwownyed *twerks* in *sweats* his mastew's spite. -C-Come, *cuddles you* boy, with me; my thoughts awe wipe in mischief: -I'ww *shuffles closer* sacwifice the wamb that I do wove -To *blushes* spite *leans over* a waven's h-heawt w-within a dove. -VIOWA. And I, most jocund, apt, and *cries* wiwwingwy, -To do you west, a thousand deaths w-wouwd die. -OWIVIA. Whewe goes Cesawio? -V-VIOWA. Aftew him I wove -*looks away* Mowe than I wove *giggles shyly* these e-eyes, mowe than my wife, -Mowe, by aww mowes, t-than e-e'ew I shaww wove wife. -If I do feign, *shuffles closer* you witnyesses above -Punyish my >w< wife *notices bulge* fow tainting of my wove! -OWIVIA. Ay me, detested! How am I beguiw'd! -VIOWA. Who *looks at you* does beguiwe you? Who does *blushes* do you wwong? -OWIVIA. H-Hast *notices bulge* thou >_> fowgot thysewf? Is it so *cuddles you* wong? -Caww fowth the howy fathew. Exit an A-ATTENDANT -DUKE. Come, a-away! -OWIVIA. Whithew, my wowd? Cesawio, xDD husband, stay. -DUKE. Husband? -OWIVIA. Ay, h-husband; can he that deny? -DUKE. Hew husband, siwwah? -VIOWA. Nyo, my wowd, nyot I. -O-OWIVIA. A-Awas, it i-is the basenyess >_> of thy feaw -That m-makes thee stwangwe thy pwopwiety. -Feaw nyot, Cesawio, take thy fowtunyes u-up; -Be that thou k-knyow'st thou awt, and *looks away* then thou awt -As g-gweat as that t-thou feaw'st. - -Entew PWIEST - -O-O, wewcome, *teleports behind you* fathew! -Fathew, I chawge thee, by thy wevewence, -Hewe to unfowd- though w-watewy w-we intended -T-To keep *teleports behind you* in dawknyess what occasion nyow -Weveaws befowe 'tis wipe- what thou dost knyow ->w< Hath nyewwy *leans over* pass'd *sweats* between this youth and me. -PWIEST. A contwact of etewnyaw *teleports behind you* bond of wove, -Confiwm'd ^.^ by mutuaw joindew of youw *shuffles closer* hands, -Attested by the howy cwose o-of *twerks* wips, -*looks at you* Stwength'nyed *pokes you* by intewchangement of youw ^-^ wings; -And aww the cewemony of this *hugs tightly* compact -Seaw'd in *pokes you* my *cuddles you* function, by *leans over* my *shuffles closer* testimony; -Since when, m-my x3 watch hath towd m-me, t-towawd my gwave, -*looks away* I have twaveww'd ^.^ but two ;;w;; houws. -DUKE. *moans* O thou dissembwing cub! What wiwt thou be, -OwO When time hath sow'd *moans* a gwizzwe on *looks away* thy *looks away* case? -O-Ow w-wiww *sighs* nyot ewse t-thy cwaft so quickwy gwow -That thinye own twip >_< shaww be thinye >_< ovewthwow? -Faweweww, and take hew; but diwect thy *sweats* feet -Whewe thou and *shuffles closer* I hencefowth ^-^ may nyevew m-meet. -VIOWA. My wowd, I do pwotest- -OWIVIA. O, do nyot *sighs* sweaw! -H-Howd wittwe faith, though thou has *sighs* too much feaw. - -UwU Entew SIW ANDWEW - -AGUECHEEK. Fow the wove of God, a suwgeon! -S-Send onye *screams* pwesentwy *moans* to Siw *hugs tightly* Toby. -*giggles shyly* OWIVIA. What's the mattew? -AGUECHEEK. Has ;;w;; bwoke m-my head a-acwoss, ^.^ and has :3 given S-Siw *moans* Toby a -b-bwoody coxcomb too. Fow the *cries* wove of God, youw hewp! I ;;w;; had xDD wathew -t-than fowty pound I *cries* wewe at home. -OwO OWIVIA. Who h-has donye this, Siw A-Andwew? -AGUECHEEK. The *twerks* Count's gentweman, onye Cesawio. We took him fow a -cowawd, b-but he's *cuddles you* the v-vewy deviw incawdinyate. -DUKE. ^w^ My gentweman, Cesawio? -A-AGUECHEEK. Od's UwU wifewings, hewe he is! You bwoke m-my head fow -*looks at you* nyothing; and t-that that did, I was *cries* set on to do't by Siw Toby. -VIOWA. *hugs tightly* Why do y-you speak to me? I nyevew huwt you. -Y-You dwew UwU youw *shuffles closer* swowd upon me without cause; -*cuddles you* But I-I b-bespake y-you faiw and huwt you *cuddles you* nyot. - -E-Entew SIW TOBY and CWOWN - -AGUECHEEK. *teleports behind you* If a bwoody coxcomb be a *teleports behind you* huwt, you have huwt me; I think -y-you set nyothing OwO by a *looks at you* bwoody coxcomb. Hewe comes Siw *teleports behind you* Toby hawting; -you shaww h-heaw mowe; but if uWu he had *pokes you* nyot b-been in d-dwink, he wouwd -uWu have tickw'd you othewgates ^-^ than he *pokes you* did. -DUKE. How nyow, gentweman? How *looks away* is't with y-you? -SIW TOBY. That's aww *giggles shyly* onye; h-has *shuffles closer* huwt me, and thewe's th' end o-on't. -S-Sot, didst see Dick Suwgeon, sot? -CWOWN. O, he's *twerks* dwunk, Siw Toby, an houw agonye; OwO his eyes wewe set at -eight *notices bulge* i' th' mownying. -SIW TOBY. Then he's a wogue and ^.^ a *blushes* passy measuwes pavin. I hate a -dwunken wogue. -OWIVIA. Away *pokes you* with him. W-Who hath made t-this havoc *leans over* with them? -AGUECHEEK. I'ww hewp you, S-Siw Toby, ^-^ because we'ww b-be dwess'd -togethew. -SIW *leans over* TOBY. Wiww you h-hewp- an ass-head and a *looks away* coxcomb and a knyave, a -thin *cries* fac'd knyave, a guww? -OWIVIA. Get *leans over* him t-to bed, and wet his huwt be wook'd to. -Exeunt *hugs tightly* CWOWN, FABIAN, :3 SIW TOBY, and SIW ANDWEW - -*blushes* Entew SEBASTIAN - -SEBASTIAN. I am *moans* sowwy, m-madam, I have huwt *pokes you* youw kinsman; -But, UwU had it been the bwothew of my bwood, -I m-must have donye *twerks* nyo *cuddles you* wess w-with ^w^ wit *teleports behind you* and safety. -You *looks away* thwow a stwange wegawd u-upon me, and by that -I-I do pewceive it h-hath offended you. -Pawdon me, sweet onye, even fow t-the vows -We made each othew b-but so wate a-ago. -DUKE. Onye face, onye voice, onye habit, and two pewsons! -A nyatuwaw pewspective, that is *twerks* and is n-nyot. -SEBASTIAN. Antonyio, *leans over* O my deaw Antonyio! -:33 How have *screams* the houws OwO wack'd and towtuw'd me -Since I h-have wost t-thee! -ANTONyIO. S-Sebastian awe uWu you? -SEBASTIAN. Feaw'st thou that, Antonyio? -*cuddles you* ANTONyIO. How have you made division of youwsewf? -An appwe *screams* cweft in two is nyot mowe twin -Than these ^-^ two cweatuwes. Which is Sebastian? -OWIVIA. Most wondewfuw! -SEBASTIAN. *moans* Do I stand thewe? *sweats* I nyevew had a-a bwothew; -Nyow can thewe be that deity in my nyatuwe -Of hewe a-and evewywhewe. I h-had *cuddles you* a sistew -Whom the bwind *sweats* waves and suwges h-have devouw'd. -Of chawity, what kin awe you to me? -What >_< countwyman, what nyame, what pawentage? -VIOWA. Of Messawinye; Sebastian *sighs* was my fathew. -Such a *screams* Sebastian was my bwothew too; -So w-went h-he suited to *cries* his watewy *cries* tomb; -If spiwits can *cuddles you* assume both fowm and suit, -You come to fwight us. -SEBASTIAN. A s-spiwit I >w< am indeed, -But am i-in that dimension gwosswy cwad -Which fwom t-the womb I did pawticipate. -*shuffles closer* Wewe you a woman, as the *pokes you* west goes even, -*shuffles closer* I s-shouwd my teaws wet faww upon youw cheek, -A-And say 'Thwice wewcome, *blushes* dwownyed Viowa!' -VIOWA. My fathew had a mowe ;;w;; upon OwO his bwow. -SEBASTIAN. And so had minye. -VIOWA. *screams* And died t-that day when Viowa fwom hew biwth -Had :3 nyumb'wed thiwteen yeaws. -SEBASTIAN. O, that w-wecowd is wivewy in my souw! -He finyished indeed his ^.^ mowtaw act -T-That d-day that made my sistew thiwteen yeaws. -VIOWA. If nyothing wets to ^.^ make *sighs* us happy both -*blushes* But this my mascuwinye usuwp'd attiwe, -Do n-nyot embwace me ^-^ tiww e-each *leans over* ciwcumstance -Of >_> pwace, time, fowtunye, do cohewe and jump -That I-I am Viowa; w-which to confiwm, -I'ww bwing you to a *cries* captain in *shuffles closer* this town, -Whewe wie *sweats* my *pokes you* maiden weeds; *screams* by whose *giggles shyly* gentwe hewp -I was pwesewv'd to s-sewve this nyobwe Count. -A-Aww the UwU occuwwence of my fowtunye *looks at you* since -Hath been between this *blushes* wady and this wowd. -S-SEBASTIAN. [To OWIVIA] So Comes it, wady, you have been mistook; -But nyatuwe to hew bias ^.^ dwew in that. -You wouwd have been contwacted to a maid; -*screams* Nyow awe you thewein, by m-my wife, deceiv'd; -*hugs tightly* You awe *moans* betwoth'd both *looks at you* to a maid and man. -DUKE. Be nyot amaz'd; w-wight nyobwe is his b-bwood. -If this be s-so, as yet the ^-^ gwass seems :3 twue, -I shaww have shawe in this most *looks at you* happy wweck. -[To VIOWA] *notices bulge* Boy, thou hast said to me *screams* a thousand times -Thou nyevew shouwdst wove woman wike to ^-^ me. -VIOWA. A-And ^-^ aww those *pokes you* sayings wiww I ovewsweaw; -And aww those s-sweawings k-keep as twue in souw -As doth *looks away* that owbed continyent the fiwe -That s-sevews d-day fwom nyight. -DUKE. Give me thy *cries* hand; -And wet me see thee in thy woman's weeds. -VIOWA. The captain that did bwing :33 me fiwst *cries* on showe -Hath my maid's gawments. He, upon some action, -Is ^.^ nyow in duwance, a-at Mawvowio's suit, -UwU A gentweman a-and fowwowew of my wady's. -OWIVIA. He shaww enwawge him. F-Fetch Mawvowio hithew; -And yet, uWu awas, n-nyow I w-wemembew *cuddles you* me, -They say, poow gentweman, he's much distwact. - -We-entew CWOWN, with a wettew, and FABIAN - -*moans* A most extwacting fwenzy *moans* of minye own -Fwom my *screams* wemembwance cweawwy banyish'd his. -How does he, siwwah? -CWOWN. *notices bulge* Twuwy, madam, he h-howds B-Bewzebub at the stave's end as *shuffles closer* weww -as a man in his c-case may do. Has h-hewe *pokes you* wwit a wettew to you; I -shouwd h-have given 't you t-to-day mownying, >w< but as a madman's -epistwes awe nyo gospews, so it skiwws nyot much when they awe -dewivew'd. -OWIVIA. Open't, and *moans* wead it. -CWOWN. *giggles shyly* Wook then to be weww uWu edified when the foow d-dewivews the -madman. [Weads madwy ] 'By the Wowd, madam-' -OWIVIA. How nyow! Awt thou mad? -CWOWN. N-Nyo, madam, *sweats* I d-do ^.^ but wead madnyess. An youw wadyship wiww have -it *sighs* as *cuddles you* it ought to be, you must awwow vox. -O-OWIVIA. Pwithee wead *giggles shyly* i' thy wight w-wits. -CWOWN. So I *sweats* do, madonnya; b-but t-to *blushes* wead his wight wits is to wead -t-thus; t-thewefowe pewpend, my Pwincess, and give eaw. -OWIVIA. [To FABIAN] Wead it you, siwwah. -FABIAN. [Weads] 'By the Wowd, madam, you wwong me, and *cuddles you* the wowwd -s-shaww *moans* knyow it. x3 Though you have put me into dawknyess and g-given -y-youw dwunken cousin wuwe ovew me, yet h-have I *twerks* the benyefit of my -senses as *leans over* weww as youw wadyship. I ^w^ have y-youw own wettew that -induced me t-to the sembwance I-I put on, with the which OwO I doubt nyot -but to do mysewf much wight ow you *hugs tightly* much shame. Think *shuffles closer* of me a-as you -pwease. I weave my duty a wittwe ^w^ unthought of, and speak out of -my injuwy. -THE MADWY-US'D MAWVOWIO' - -OWIVIA. Did he *sighs* wwite this? -C-CWOWN. Ay, Madam. -DUKE. This savouws nyot much *notices bulge* of distwaction. -OWIVIA. S-See him *notices bulge* dewivew'd, Fabian; *sweats* bwing him hithew. -Exit FABIAN -My wowd, so pwease you, these things *twerks* fuwthew thought on, -To think me as weww a sistew a-as a wife, -Onye day shaww cwown th' awwiance *blushes* on't, so pwease you, -Hewe a-at my house, uWu and at my p-pwopew c-cost. -*shuffles closer* DUKE. M-Madam, I am most apt t' embwace youw offew. -[To V-VIOWA] :3 Youw mastew q-quits you; and, *shuffles closer* fow *sighs* youw sewvice donye -*leans over* him, -So much against the mettwe of youw sex, -So :33 faw benyeath youw soft >_< and tendew bweeding, -And since you :3 caww'd me mastew fow so wong, -*teleports behind you* Hewe is my h-hand; you shaww fwom this time be -You mastew's m-mistwess. -OWIVIA. A-A *leans over* sistew! *notices bulge* You a-awe she. - -We-entew FABIAN, with MAWVOWIO - -DUKE. Is this t-the m-madman? -OWIVIA. Ay, my wowd, this same. -How nyow, M-Mawvowio! -M-MAWVOWIO. Madam, you h-have donye me wwong, -Nyotowious wwong. -OWIVIA. Have I, Mawvowio? Nyo. -MAWVOWIO. Wady, you have. Pway you pewuse that wettew. ->_< You must nyot nyow deny it is y-youw hand; -Wwite fwom it if you can, in hand ow phwase; -O-Ow s-say 'tis nyot youw *moans* seaw, nyot youw invention; -Y-You can say *moans* nyonye *blushes* of t-this. Weww, g-gwant it then, -And teww me, *leans over* in the modesty of *pokes you* honyouw, -*screams* Why ^.^ you have given me such >_> cweaw wights of favouw, -Bade *looks at you* me *looks away* come *blushes* smiwing and cwoss-gawtew'd to you, -To put on yewwow *blushes* stockings, and to ^.^ fwown -Upon Siw Toby and the w-wightew peopwe; -And, acting this in an obedient hope, -W-Why have you suffew'd me to be *hugs tightly* impwison'd, -Kept in >_< a dawk house, visited uWu by the p-pwiest, -And made the most nyotowious geck and guw -^w^ That e'ew invention pway'd on? Teww :33 me why. -OWIVIA. Awas, Mawvowio, this i-is nyot *twerks* my wwiting, -Though, I confess, much wike the chawactew; -But out *twerks* of question 'tis Mawia's h-hand. -And nyow I UwU do bethink *notices bulge* me, it was she -Fiwst towd >w< me thou wast m-mad; then c-cam'st in *moans* smiwing, -And in such *sighs* fowms which hewe wewe pwesuppos'd -Upon thee in the wettew. Pwithee, *twerks* be content; -This xDD pwactice hath UwU most *moans* shwewdwy pass'd upon thee, -But, when we knyow the gwounds and authows of i-it, -Thou shawt be b-both t-the pwaintiff and the judge -Of t-thinye own ;;w;; cause. -F-FABIAN. G-Good madam, heaw me ^.^ speak, -And ^w^ wet nyo quawwew nyow nyo bwaww to come -Taint the c-condition *notices bulge* of this pwesent houw, -*giggles shyly* Which I have wond'wed a-at. In hope it shaww >_> nyot, -Most *leans over* fweewy I confess mysewf and T-Toby -Set *shuffles closer* this device *notices bulge* against Mawvowio hewe, -Upon *pokes you* some stubbown and uncouwteous pawts -W-We >_< had c-conceiv'd against him. M-Mawia wwit -The wettew, at Siw ^-^ Toby's gweat impowtance, -In wecompense wheweof he hath mawwied ^-^ hew. -How with UwU a s-spowtfuw mawice it was fowwow'd -May w-wathew pwuck on waughtew t-than wevenge, -If that *giggles shyly* the injuwies be :3 justwy weigh'd -T-That have on both sides pass'd. -OWIVIA. Awas, p-poow foow, how have they baffw'd thee! -CWOWN. Why, 'Some *shuffles closer* awe bown :33 gweat, some achieve gweatnyess, a-and OwO some -have gweatnyess thwown upon them.' I w-was onye, *looks at you* siw, in this -intewwude- onye Siw Topas, siw; but that's a-aww onye. 'By the Wowd, -foow, I x3 am nyot mad!' B-But *moans* do you w-wemembew- '-'Madam, why waugh you -a-at such a bawwen wascaw? An you smiwe n-nyot, h-he's *cuddles you* gagg'd'? *teleports behind you* And thus -the w-whiwwigig of ^.^ time bwings in his *moans* wevenges. ->_< MAWVOWIO. I'ww be weveng'd *blushes* on the whowe pack o-of you. -Exit -OWIVIA. *pokes you* He hath uWu been most nyotowiouswy abus'd. -DUKE. Puwsue him, and e-entweat *sweats* him to a peace; -He h-hath nyot towd us o-of t-the captain >w< yet. -When that is knyown, and gowden time convents, -A *sighs* sowemn combinyation shaww be made -Of ouw *twerks* deaw souws. M-Meantime, sweet sistew, -We wiww n-nyot pawt f-fwom hence. Cesawio, come; -Fow so you shaww *shuffles closer* be :3 whiwe *moans* you awe a *blushes* man; -But w-when i-in othew UwU habits you *teleports behind you* awe *teleports behind you* seen, -*cries* Owsinyo's mistwess, OwO and his fancy's uWu queen. -Exeunt *looks at you* aww but the CWOWN - -CWOWN sings - -When that I was and a-a wittwe tiny b-boy, -With hey, ho, *notices bulge* the wind and the wain, -A foowish t-thing was but a *teleports behind you* toy, -Fow the wain it wainyeth e-evewy day. - -But when I came to man's *notices bulge* estate, -With hey, ho, >_< the wind and the wain, -'Gainst knyaves a-and t-thieves men shut theiw gate, -Fow the wain UwU it wainyeth evewy day. - -B-But when I came, awas! to wive, -With h-hey, ho, *twerks* the wind and the wain, -By s-swaggewing couwd I nyevew thwive, -Fow the wain it w-wainyeth *looks at you* evewy day. - -*leans over* But when I c-came unto my beds, -^.^ With hey, ho, *notices bulge* the wind and the wain, -W-With toss-pots s-stiww had dwunken heads, -*cuddles you* Fow *sweats* the wain it *sweats* wainyeth evewy d-day. - -A *sighs* gweat whiwe a-ago the wowwd begun, -With hey, ho, the wind and *sweats* the wain, -B-But that's aww x3 onye, xDD ouw pway is donye, -And we'ww stwive to pwease you evewy *sighs* day. -Exit - -THE END - - - ->w< <w< WEADABWE OwO COPIES MAY BE -*cries* DISTWIBUTED *sighs* SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (-(1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE *shuffles closer* ONWY, AND (2) AWE N-NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. P-PWOHIBITED *screams* COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -^-^ SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME ^.^ OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -1595 - -THE TWO GENTWEMEN OF VEWONyA - -by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -DWAMATIS PEWSONyAE - -DUKE *sighs* OF MIWAN, fathew to Siwvia -VAWENTINyE, o-onye of the two g-gentwemen -PWOTEUS, " ^-^ " " " " -ANTONyIO, fathew to Pwoteus -THUWIO, *leans over* a *cries* foowish wivaw to Vawentinye -EGWAMOUW, uWu agent fow Siwvia in hew escape -SPEED, a cwownyish sewvant to Vawentinye -WAUNCE, the wike to P-Pwoteus -PANTHINyO, sewvant to *moans* Antonyio -HOST, whewe Juwia wodges in M-Miwan -OUTWAWS, with Vawentinye - -JUWIA, a wady of Vewonya, bewoved of Pwoteus -SIWVIA, t-the Duke's daughtew, bewoved of Vawentinye -^.^ WUCETTA, waiting-woman to Juwia - -SEWVANTS -MUSICIANS - - - - -<w< WIBWAWY, I-INC., A-AND IS -PWOVIDED *moans* BY PWOJECT UwU GUTENBEWG ETEXT O-OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH *cries* PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC >_< AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES *looks away* MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED *leans over* SO W-WONG ;;w;; AS S-SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW *hugs tightly* YOUW OW OTHEWS -*sighs* PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, A-AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW *notices bulge* USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW D-DOWNWOAD TIME OW F-FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -SCENyE: -V-Vewonya; Miwan; t-the fwontiews of M-Mantua - - -ACT I. SCENyE I. -Vewonya. An open ^w^ pwace - -Entew VAWENTINyE a-and PWOTEUS - -V-VAWENTINyE. Cease to *hugs tightly* pewsuade, my woving Pwoteus: -Home-keeping youth xDD have evew homewy wits. -Wewe't nyot affection chains thy t-tendew days -To the sweet gwances of thy honyouw'd wove, -I wathew wouwd entweat thy company -To *giggles shyly* see x3 the *giggles shyly* wondews of the wowwd *cuddles you* abwoad, -Than, wiving duwwy swuggawdiz'd at home, -Weaw out *pokes you* thy youth with shapewess idwenyess. -But s-since thou w-wov'st, wove stiww, and thwive thewein, -Even as I wouwd, when I *sweats* to wove begin. -PWOTEUS. W-Wiwt t-thou be gonye? Sweet x3 Vawentinye, adieu! -Think on t-thy P-Pwoteus, when thou uWu hapwy seest -S-Some wawe nyotewowthy object in thy twavew. -*hugs tightly* Wish *leans over* me pawtakew i-in thy happinyess -When thou :33 dost meet good hap; and in thy dangew, -If evew *notices bulge* dangew do e-enviwon thee, -C-Commend thy gwievance to m-my howy p-pwayews, -*cuddles you* Fow I wiww be thy *giggles shyly* headsman, ^.^ Vawentinye. -VAWENTINyE. And on a w-wove-book pway fow my >_> success? -PWOTEUS. Upon some book I wove I'ww pway fow thee. -*twerks* VAWENTINyE. That's on some shawwow stowy of deep wove: -*sighs* How young Weandew *cries* cwoss'd the Hewwespont. -PWOTEUS. That's a deep stowy of a deepew wove; -Fow he was >_> mowe than ovew s-shoes in w-wove. -V-VAWENTINyE. 'Tis twue; fow you awe ovew boots in wove, -And yet you ^-^ nyevew swum the Hewwespont. -P-PWOTEUS. Ovew the boots! Nyay, give me nyot the >_> boots. -VAWENTINyE. ;;w;; Nyo, I wiww nyot, fow >_> it boots thee nyot. -PWOTEUS. *screams* What? -VAWENTINyE. T-To be in wove- whewe scown is ;;w;; bought with gwoans, -Coy wooks with *shuffles closer* heawt-sowe sighs, onye fading moment's miwth -With twenty *sweats* watchfuw, weawy, t-tedious nyights; -x3 If hapwy won, pewhaps a h-hapwess gain; -UwU If wost, *cries* why then uWu a *giggles shyly* gwievous wabouw w-won; -Howevew, but a f-fowwy b-bought with wit, -xDD Ow ewse a wit by f-fowwy *shuffles closer* vanquished. -PWOTEUS. So, by youw ciwcumstance, you c-caww m-me foow. -VAWENTINyE. *leans over* So, by *pokes you* youw c-ciwcumstance, I feaw y-you'ww pwove. -PWOTEUS. 'Tis wove you caviw at; I am nyot W-Wove. -^.^ VAWENTINyE. Wove i-is youw mastew, fow he mastews you; -*leans over* And he that is xDD so yoked by a foow, -Methinks, shouwd nyot be chwonyicwed fow wise. -xDD PWOTEUS. *pokes you* Yet wwitews say, as in the sweetest *notices bulge* bud -The eating cankew dwewws, so eating wove -Inhabits *screams* in the finyest w-wits o-of *blushes* aww. -VAWENTINyE. *hugs tightly* And wwitews say, *teleports behind you* as the most *looks away* fowwawd bud -Is eaten by the cankew ewe i-it bwow, -Even so by *blushes* wove the young and tendew wit -*cries* Is tuwn'd to fowwy, bwasting in the bud, -Wosing his vewduwe even in the pwime, -A-And aww the faiw effects of futuwe hopes. -*sighs* But whewefowe waste I time to counsew the -That awt a-a votawy to fond desiwe? -Once mowe a-adieu. :3 My fathew OwO at the woad -E-Expects my coming, t-thewe to see m-me shipp'd. -PWOTEUS. And thithew wiww I bwing thee, Vawentinye. -VAWENTINyE. Sweet Pwoteus, *notices bulge* nyo; nyow wet us take o-ouw weave. -To Miwan wet m-me heaw fwom thee by wettews -Of thy success in *sweats* wove, and what nyews ewse ->w< Betideth hewe in absence *leans over* of thy fwiend; -And *notices bulge* I wikewise wiww *pokes you* visit :3 thee with m-minye. -PWOTEUS. Aww happinyess bechance to thee in Miwan! -:3 VAWENTINyE. As much to you :33 at home; a-and so :33 faweweww! -Exit VAWENTINyE -xDD PWOTEUS. x3 He aftew honyouw h-hunts, I aftew wove; -H-He weaves his fwiends t-to dignyify them *giggles shyly* mowe: -I ;;w;; weave mysewf, my fwiends, and aww fow wove. -Thou, Juwia, thou hast metamowphis'd me, -M-Made me n-nyegwect my studies, wose my time, -Waw with good c-counsew, set the wowwd at ;;w;; nyought; -UwU Made wit with musing weak, heawt *blushes* sick w-with thought. - -E-Entew SPEED - -SPEED. Siw Pwoteus, save you! S-Saw >w< you my mastew? -PWOTEUS. But nyow *sweats* he pawted hence t-to embawk fow Miwan. -SPEED. Twenty to onye then he i-is shipp'd *looks away* awweady, -And I have pway'd the sheep in wosing him. ->w< PWOTEUS. Indeed a sheep doth *sweats* vewy often *sighs* stway, -An if the shephewd be awhiwe *shuffles closer* away. -SPEED. :33 You c-concwude that my mastew is *moans* a shephewd then, and -*teleports behind you* I a *looks at you* sheep? -PWOTEUS. *pokes you* I do. -SPEED. Why then, my howns awe his *pokes you* howns, whethew I wake ow sweep. -PWOTEUS. A siwwy answew, *sweats* and fitting w-weww a sheep. -SPEED. T-This pwoves me stiww a-a s-sheep. -*looks at you* PWOTEUS. Twue; and thy mastew a shephewd. -SPEED. *twerks* Nyay, that I can *giggles shyly* deny by a ciwcumstance. -PWOTEUS. It shaww xDD go hawd but I'ww pwove it by a-anyothew. -SPEED. The shephewd s-seeks the sheep, and nyot *pokes you* the sheep t-the -shephewd; but I-I seek my mastew, and m-my >_> mastew seeks OwO nyot me; -thewefowe, I am nyo sheep. -PWOTEUS. ^-^ The s-sheep *sweats* fow f-foddew fowwow the shephewd; the shephewd fow -food *blushes* fowwows nyot the sheep: thou f-fow wages *cries* fowwowest thy mastew; -thy mastew *screams* fow wages fowwows ^.^ nyot thee. T-Thewefowe, thou awt a -^.^ sheep. -SPEED. Such :3 anyothew pwoof wiww make me :33 cwy 'baa.' -PWOTEUS. But dost thou heaw? Gav'st thou my wettew to Juwia? -*leans over* SPEED. Ay, siw; *sweats* I, a wost mutton, :33 gave youw wettew t-to hew, a wac'd -mutton; and she, a wac'd mutton, gave me, a wost mutton, nyothing -fow my wabouw. -PWOTEUS. Hewe's too smaww a pastuwe f-fow such stowe *cries* of m-muttons. -SPEED. If the gwound be *hugs tightly* ovewchawg'd, you wewe best *looks away* stick hew. -P-PWOTEUS. *leans over* Nyay, in that *cuddles you* you awe astway: '-'twewe *hugs tightly* best pound y-you. -SPEED. Nyay, siw, wess than a-a pound shaww sewve me fow *sweats* cawwying youw -wettew. -PWOTEUS. You mistake; I m-mean ^w^ the pound- a pinfowd. -SPEED. *leans over* Fwom a pound to a pin? Fowd it ovew and ovew, -'Tis thweefowd *looks away* too wittwe f-fow c-cawwying a wettew to youw wovew. -PWOTEUS. x3 But what said she? -SPEED. [Nyodding] A-Ay. -PWOTEUS. Nyod- ay. W-Why, that's 'nyoddy.' -SPEED. You mistook, siw; I say she d-did nyod; and you ask me if s-she -did nyod; >_> and >_> I s-say 'Ay.' -*moans* PWOTEUS. *sighs* And that set togethew *looks away* is 'nyoddy.' -SPEED. Nyow you have taken the pains to set it togethew, take it fow -^-^ youw *blushes* pains. -PWOTEUS. N-Nyo, nyo; you shaww *notices bulge* have it fow beawing the wettew. -SPEED. Weww, I pewceive I must be fain to beaw with you. -PWOTEUS. Why, siw, h-how do you beaw with me? -SPEED. Mawwy, siw, t-the wettew, vewy owdewwy; *teleports behind you* having nyothing but the -*cuddles you* wowd 'nyoddy' fow my p-pains. -PWOTEUS. Beshwew me, but *teleports behind you* you have a-a >_> quick w-wit. -SPEED. A-And yet it cannyot ovewtake youw swow puwse. -PWOTEUS. Come, come, o-open the mattew; in bwief, what said she? -SPEED. Open youw puwse, that the >w< monyey and *blushes* the mattew may be both -at once dewivewed. -PWOTEUS. W-Weww, siw, hewe i-is fow >w< youw pains. What said she? -SPEED. Twuwy, siw, I uWu think you'ww hawdwy win hew. -PWOTEUS. Why, couwdst t-thou pewceive so ;;w;; much fwom hew? -SPEED. S-Siw, I couwd pewceive nyothing at aww *sweats* fwom hew; nyo, *notices bulge* nyot so -*blushes* much as a ducat fow dewivewing youw wettew; and being so hawd to -me that bwought youw :33 mind, :33 I UwU feaw s-she'ww pwove as hawd t-to you in -tewwing y-youw *hugs tightly* mind. Give hew nyo token >w< but stonyes, *hugs tightly* fow she's as ->w< hawd a-as steew. -PWOTEUS. What said *sighs* she? Nyothing? -SPEED. Nyo, n-nyot so much as 'Take this fow t-thy p-pains.' *leans over* To testify -youw bounty, I thank you, you have testewn'd me; in *giggles shyly* wequitaw -wheweof, hencefowth cawwy *leans over* youw wettews youwsewf; ^w^ and s-so, s-siw, -I'ww c-commend you t-to my mastew. -PWOTEUS. Go, go, be gonye, :33 to s-save youw ship fwom w-wweck, -Which cannyot pewish, >w< having thee aboawd, -:33 Being destin'd *blushes* to a-a dwiew death on showe. Exit SPEED -*moans* I *twerks* must go s-send some bettew messengew. -I feaw my Juwia w-wouwd nyot deign my winyes, -Weceiving them fwom such a wowthwess p-post. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Vewonya. The gawden Of JUWIA'S house - -Entew >_> JUWIA and WUCETTA - -JUWIA. But say, Wucetta, nyow w-we awe awonye, -Wouwdst :3 thou then counsew me to faww in wove? -*giggles shyly* WUCETTA. *cuddles you* Ay, madam; so *looks at you* you stumbwe nyot unheedfuwwy. -JUWIA. Of aww t-the faiw wesowt of gentwemen -That evewy >w< day with pawwe encountew me, -In thy opinyion which is wowthiest *notices bulge* wove? -WUCETTA. *blushes* Pwease you, wepeat theiw nyames; I'ww show my mind -Accowding uWu to *leans over* my shawwow simpwe s-skiww. -JUWIA. What think'st thou of the faiw Siw Egwamouw? -WUCETTA. As of a k-knyight w-weww-spoken, nyeat, and finye; -But, wewe I you, h-he nyevew shouwd be minye. -*hugs tightly* JUWIA. What think'st thou ^-^ of t-the wich Mewcatio? -WUCETTA. Weww of his weawth; but of *cries* himsewf, so so. -J-JUWIA. What think'st thou of the gentwe Pwoteus? -WUCETTA. Wowd, Wowd! to see what fowwy weigns in u-us! -*leans over* JUWIA. How *blushes* nyow! *blushes* what means this p-passion at h-his xDD nyame? -WUCETTA. P-Pawdon, deaw ^w^ madam; 'tis a passing shame -T-That I, unwowthy >_< body *pokes you* as I am, -Shouwd censuwe *cuddles you* thus on wovewy gentwemen. -*cuddles you* JUWIA. *hugs tightly* Why nyot *looks away* on Pwoteus, as of aww the west? -WUCETTA. Then thus: of many *blushes* good I think him best. -*giggles shyly* JUWIA. Youw weason? -WUCETTA. I have nyo othew but a woman's weason: -*looks away* I think him so, because I think him *cries* so. -JUWIA. UwU And wouwdst thou have me cast my w-wove on him? -WUCETTA. *notices bulge* Ay, if you thought youw wove nyot cast away. -JUWIA. *twerks* Why, he, of aww the west, hath nyevew mov'd me. -WUCETTA. Y-Yet he, of aww the west, I think, best woves ye. -JUWIA. His wittwe s-speaking shows his >_> wove b-but smaww. -WUCETTA. Fiwe that's cwosest kept buwns most of aww. -JUWIA. OwO They do nyot wove that do nyot show theiw wove. -WUCETTA. O, they w-wove *twerks* weast that w-wet *giggles shyly* men knyow theiw wove. -JUWIA. I wouwd I knyew his mind. -*hugs tightly* WUCETTA. Pewuse this p-papew, xDD madam. -JUWIA. 'To *teleports behind you* Juwia'- Say, fwom whom? -WUCETTA. T-That the contents wiww show. -J-JUWIA. Say, UwU say, who gave it xDD thee? -WUCETTA. Siw Vawentinye's page; and s-sent, ^-^ I think, fwom Pwoteus. -He wouwd have given it you; but I, being in the way, -Did in youw nyame weceive it; pawdon the fauwt, *leans over* I pway. -JUWIA. Nyow, by my modesty, a *notices bulge* goodwy bwokew! -Dawe you *hugs tightly* pwesume to hawbouw wanton winyes? -T-To whispew and conspiwe against my youth? -Nyow, twust m-me, '-'tis an office of gweat ;;w;; wowth, -And you an officew ;;w;; fit fow the p-pwace. -*hugs tightly* Thewe, take the papew; see it be wetuwn'd; -Ow ewse wetuwn nyo ^w^ mowe into my sight. -WUCETTA. To pwead fow wove desewves mowe fee t-than hate. -JUWIA. Wiww y-ye be *notices bulge* gonye? ->_> WUCETTA. That you may wuminyate. Exit -JUWIA. And y-yet, I wouwd I had o'ewwook'd t-the wettew. -It wewe a s-shame ;;w;; to caww h-hew *teleports behind you* back again, -xDD And pway hew t-to a ;;w;; fauwt fow which I chid hew. -What foow is she, that knyows I-I am a maid -And wouwd nyot fowce the wettew to my view! -Since maids, *pokes you* in *notices bulge* modesty, s-say 'Nyo' to that -Which *looks at you* they wouwd h-have the *cries* pwoffewew constwue '-'Ay.' -F-Fie, fie, how w-waywawd is *blushes* this foowish wove, -That wike *giggles shyly* a testy babe w-wiww scwatch *screams* the nyuwse, -And pwesentwy, ^-^ aww humbwed, kiss the wod! -How chuwwishwy I chid W-Wucetta hence, -When wiwwingwy ^w^ I wouwd have h-had hew hewe! -How angewwy I taught my *shuffles closer* bwow to fwown, -When i-inwawd j-joy enfowc'd my heawt to smiwe! -M-My penyance is *blushes* to caww Wucetta back -And ask wemission fow my fowwy p-past. -*hugs tightly* What ho! Wucetta! - -We-entew WUCETTA - -WUCETTA. What ;;w;; wouwd youw wadyship? -JUWIA. Is't *cuddles you* nyeaw dinnyew :33 time? -WUCETTA. I wouwd it w-wewe, -x3 That you might kiww *cries* youw stomach on youw meat -And n-nyot upon youw maid. -JUWIA. What is't that you took uWu up s-so g-gingewwy? -WUCETTA. Nyothing. -JUWIA. Why didst t-thou uWu stoop t-then? -WUCETTA. *screams* To take a papew up t-that I-I wet faww. -J-JUWIA. And is that papew nyothing? -WUCETTA. Nyothing concewnying *moans* me. -JUWIA. Then wet i-it wie fow those that it concewns. -WUCETTA. Madam, it wiww nyot wie whewe i-it concewns, -Unwess it have a-a fawse intewpwetew. -JUWIA. Some wove of y-youws hath wwit to ^.^ you i-in whyme. -WUCETTA. That I m-might sing it, madam, to a tunye. -Give uWu me a nyote; xDD youw w-wadyship can s-set. -JUWIA. As :3 wittwe b-by such toys as m-may be possibwe. -Best sing it to the tunye of *hugs tightly* 'Wight o-o' Wove.' -WUCETTA. It is too >_> heavy fow so wight a tunye. -JUWIA. *looks away* Heavy! bewike it hath *leans over* some buwden then. -:3 WUCETTA. Ay; and *blushes* mewodious wewe it, wouwd you s-sing it. -JUWIA. *shuffles closer* And why nyot y-you? -WUCETTA. I cannyot weach *sweats* so high. -JUWIA. Wet's see youw song. [WUCETTA withhowds the wettew] -H-How n-nyow, minyion! -WUCETTA. Keep tunye thewe stiww, s-so you wiww sing it out. -And yet x3 methinks I-I do *leans over* nyot *hugs tightly* wike this tunye. -JUWIA. You do *cries* nyot! -WUCETTA. Nyo, madam; 'tis too ^w^ shawp. -JUWIA. *shuffles closer* You, minyion, awe too saucy. -WUCETTA. Nyay, nyow you awe too fwat -And maw t-the *sighs* concowd with too hawsh a descant; -Thewe wanteth but a mean to fiww youw song. -^w^ JUWIA. The mean is d-dwown'd w-with youw unwuwy bass. -WUCETTA. Indeed, I-I bid the base fow P-Pwoteus. -*hugs tightly* JUWIA. This *blushes* babbwe shaww nyot hencefowth twoubwe me. -UwU Hewe is a coiw with pwotestation! [Teaws t-the wettew] -;;w;; Go, get you gonye; and wet t-the papews wie. -You wouwd be fing'wing them, to angew me. -WUCETTA. She makes it stwange; but *notices bulge* she wouwd be best pweas'd -^.^ To be so ang'wed with anyothew *hugs tightly* wettew. *screams* Exit -JUWIA. Nyay, wouwd *screams* I wewe *cuddles you* so ang'wed with the UwU same! -O h-hatefuw hands, to teaw such woving wowds! -Injuwious wasps, t-to >w< feed on such sweet xDD honyey -:3 And :3 kiww the bees that yiewd it with *shuffles closer* youw stings! -I'ww kiss e-each s-sevewaw p-papew *moans* fow amends. -*leans over* Wook, hewe is wwit 'kind Juwia.' Unkind Juwia, -*cuddles you* As in wevenge of thy ingwatitude, -I thwow thy nyame against the bwuising *blushes* stonyes, -Twampwing contemptuouswy *sweats* on thy disdain. -And hewe is wwit '-'wove-wounded P-Pwoteus.' -P-Poow w-wounded nyame! my bosom,,as a bed, -Shaww wodge thee *notices bulge* tiww thy w-wound be thwoughwy heaw'd; -And thus I s-seawch *looks away* it with a soveweign *teleports behind you* kiss. -But twice *sighs* ow thwice was *looks at you* 'Pwoteus' wwitten UwU down. -Be cawm, good wind, bwow nyot a wowd away -Tiww I-I have found :33 each >w< wettew in the wettew- -E-Except m-minye x3 own nyame; that s-some whiwwwind beaw -Unto a-a wagged, feawfuw, *sweats* hanging wock, -A-And thwow it thence into the waging sea. -*twerks* Wo, h-hewe in ^w^ onye w-winye is his nyame twice wwit: -'Poow fowwown Pwoteus, passionyate Pwoteus, -To the s-sweet *twerks* Juwia.' That I'ww teaw away; -And yet x3 I wiww n-nyot, *looks away* sith so p-pwettiwy -He coupwes i-it to his compwainying nyames. -Thus wiww I fowd *moans* them onye upon *sweats* anyothew; -Nyow kiss, embwace, contend, do *notices bulge* what you wiww. - -We-entew WUCETTA - -WUCETTA. Madam, -Dinnyew is ^.^ weady, and youw fathew stays. -x3 JUWIA. Weww, wet us go. -WUCETTA. What, shaww these papews wie wike teww-tawes hewe? -JUWIA. If you wespect them, ^w^ best to take UwU them up. -WUCETTA. Nyay, I was taken up fow waying them down; -Yet hewe they shaww >_> nyot wie UwU fow catching cowd. -JUWIA. I see you h-have *twerks* a month's mind to *notices bulge* them. -WUCETTA. Ay, *moans* madam, you may say what sights *leans over* you see; -I s-see things too, a-awthough you judge *cries* I wink. -JUWIA. Come, come; uWu wiww't pwease *looks away* you go? Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Vewonya. ANTONyIO'S house - -Entew ANTONyIO and PANTHINyO - -A-ANTONyIO. Teww me, Panthinyo, what ^.^ sad *looks at you* tawk was t-that -Whewewith my bwothew h-hewd *shuffles closer* you in the cwoistew? -PANTHINyO. '-'Twas of his nyephew Pwoteus, UwU youw *sighs* son. -ANTONyIO. Why, *looks away* what of him? -PANTHINyO. He wond'wed that youw wowdship -*moans* Wouwd suffew him to spend his youth at home, -W-Whiwe othew men, of *sighs* swendew weputation, -*blushes* Put fowth xDD theiw sons t-to seek pwefewment o-out: -Some to the waws, to twy theiw fowtunye thewe; -*hugs tightly* Some to d-discovew iswands faw x3 away; -Some xDD to the studious *screams* unyivewsities. -Fow any, ow fow aww these exewcises, -He said that Pwoteus, youw son, was meet; -And did wequest me to impowtunye you -To *cries* wet *sweats* him spend his >w< time nyo mowe at home, -W-Which UwU wouwd b-be ^.^ gweat *hugs tightly* impeachment to his a-age, -In having knyown nyo twavew in his youth. -ANTONyIO. Nyow nyeed'st :33 thou much impowtunye me to that -Wheweon this month I have been hammewing. -I have considew'd weww his woss of time, -And how he >_> cannyot be a p-pewfect man, -Nyot being twied and tutow'd in the wowwd: -Expewience is by industwy achiev'd, -A-And *leans over* pewfected by the swift couwse o-of time. -Then teww me whithew w-wewe I best to send him. -PANTHINyO. I think youw wowdship is nyot x3 ignyowant -How his companyion, youthfuw Vawentinye, -;;w;; Attends the ^w^ Empewow in his woyaw c-couwt. -ANTONyIO. *looks away* I knyow it weww. -PANTHINyO. 'Twewe good, I *moans* think, youw wowdship sent him thithew: ->_> Thewe shaww h-he pwactise tiwts a-and touwnyaments, -H-Heaw sweet *twerks* discouwse, *cries* convewse with nyobwemen, -And be in eye o-of evewy exewcise -Wowthy his youth and nyobwenyess of b-biwth. -*cries* ANTONyIO. I wike *twerks* thy counsew; weww hast thou advis'd; -And *blushes* that *leans over* thou mayst pewceive h-how weww I wike *teleports behind you* it, -The execution *cries* of it *twerks* shaww make knyown: -Even with the speediest e-expedition -I-I wiww dispatch him t-to *shuffles closer* the Empewow's couwt. -PANTHINyO. To-mowwow, may it pwease you, Don Awphonso -With o-othew gentwemen of good esteem -Awe jouwnyeying to s-sawute the Empewow, -And to UwU commend theiw sewvice t-to his wiww. -ANTONyIO. Good company; with them shaww Pwoteus go. - -Entew PWOTEUS - -And- in good time!- :33 nyow >_< wiww w-we bweak with :3 him. -PWOTEUS. Sweet wove! sweet winyes! s-sweet w-wife! -Hewe is *teleports behind you* hew hand, the agent of hew heawt; -H-Hewe is hew oath fow wove, hew honyouw's pawn. -O *leans over* that ouw fathews wouwd appwaud ouw woves, -To seaw *moans* ouw h-happinyess with theiw consents! -O heavenwy Juwia! -ANTONyIO. How nyow! What wettew awe you w-weading thewe? -P-PWOTEUS. May't pwease youw wowdship, '-'tis a wowd o-ow two -Of commendations *leans over* sent fwom V-Vawentinye, -Dewivew'd by a fwiend that came fwom him. -ANTONyIO. Wend *shuffles closer* me the wettew; wet me *cuddles you* see what nyews. -PWOTEUS. Thewe is n-nyo nyews, my wowd; b-but t-that he w-wwites -H-How *shuffles closer* happiwy he wives, how weww-bewov'd -And *leans over* daiwy gwaced by the Empewow; -Wishing me with him, pawtnyew of his fowtunye. -*sweats* ANTONyIO. And how stand xDD you affected to his wish? -PWOTEUS. As onye wewying on youw uWu wowdship's wiww, -*looks away* And nyot depending o-on his *blushes* fwiendwy wish. -ANTONyIO. My wiww i-is something *notices bulge* sowted with his wish. -*screams* Muse nyot ^w^ that I thus suddenwy pwoceed; -*giggles shyly* Fow *sweats* what I wiww, I wiww, and thewe an UwU end. -I am wesowv'd t-that thou x3 shawt >_> spend some time -With Vawentinyus in the Empewow's couwt; -What *teleports behind you* maintenyance *pokes you* he ^w^ fwom his fwiends *screams* weceives, -Wike exhibition thou shawt h-have fwom me. -To-mowwow be in weadinyess to go- -Excuse it nyot, f-fow I am p-pewemptowy. -PWOTEUS. ;;w;; My wowd, I cannyot be so soon pwovided; -:3 Pwease you, d-dewibewate a-a day ow two. -ANTONyIO. Wook w-what t-thou w-want'st shaww be sent aftew thee. -Nyo m-mowe o-of stay; :3 to-mowwow thou must go. -Come o-on, :3 Panthinyo; y-you s-shaww be *blushes* empwoy'd -To hasten on his expedition. -Exeunt ANTONyIO and PANTHINyO -P-PWOTEUS. Thus :3 have I shunn'd the fiwe fow f-feaw of buwnying, -And dwench'd me in the sea, whewe I-I am dwown'd. -I feaw'd to s-show m-my fathew *looks at you* Juwia's wettew, -West he shouwd take exceptions t-to m-my wove; -And w-with the vantage of minye own excuse -Hath ^-^ he excepted most against m-my wove. -O, how this spwing x3 of >_< wove wesembweth -The uncewtain gwowy :33 of *cries* an Apwiw day, -Which *teleports behind you* nyow shows aww the beauty of the sun, -And by an by a cwoud takes ^w^ aww away! - -We-entew P-PANTHINyO - -PANTHINyO. Siw P-Pwoteus, youw fathew cawws fow you; -H-He i-is in h-haste; thewefowe, *looks away* I p-pway y-you, go. -PWOTEUS. Why, t-this >_> it is: *looks away* my heawt accowds :33 theweto; -And yet *screams* a thousand t-times it answews 'Nyo.' E-Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -ACT II. SCENyE I-I. -Miwan. The DUKE'S *hugs tightly* pawace - -E-Entew VAWENTINyE and *notices bulge* SPEED - -SPEED. S-Siw, youw gwove. -VAWENTINyE. :3 Nyot minye: m-my gwoves awe o-on. -S-SPEED. Why, then, this *moans* may be y-youws; fow this is *moans* but onye. -*teleports behind you* VAWENTINyE. Ha! wet ^w^ me see; uWu ay, give *looks at you* it me, it's m-minye; -Sweet ownyament that decks a thing divinye! -Ah, Siwvia! S-Siwvia! -^w^ SPEED. [-[Cawwing] Madam S-Siwvia! Madam ^w^ Siwvia! -VAWENTINyE. How nyow, siwwah? -SPEED. She i-is nyot within heawing, siw. -VAWENTINyE. Why, siw, who bade you caww hew? -SPEED. Youw wowship, siw; ow ewse I-I mistook. -VAWENTINyE. Weww, you'ww stiww be too fowwawd. -SPEED. And *giggles shyly* yet *looks at you* I w-was >_< wast chidden *pokes you* fow being *screams* too s-swow. -VAWENTINyE. G-Go to, siw; *screams* teww *pokes you* me, do you k-knyow Madam :33 Siwvia? -*twerks* SPEED. S-She that *notices bulge* youw wowship woves? -VAWENTINyE. W-Why, how knyow y-you that *cuddles you* I am in wove? -SPEED. >_< Mawwy, *moans* by these *shuffles closer* speciaw *hugs tightly* mawks: fiwst, ^w^ you have weawn'd, wike -S-Siw Pwoteus, to wweath youw :33 awms wike a mawcontent; to wewish a -wove-song, wike a wobin wedbweast; t-to w-wawk awonye, w-wike o-onye that -had t-the *teleports behind you* pestiwence; to sigh, wike a schoow-boy that h-had wost his -A B C; to weep, *notices bulge* wike *looks at you* a young w-wench that *looks at you* had uWu buwied hew gwandam; -*blushes* to fast, wike o-onye that takes diet; >w< to watch, wike onye that feaws -wobbing; to speak puwing, wike a beggaw at Hawwowmas. Y-You *notices bulge* wewe -wont, when you waughed, to cwow wike *sighs* a cock; when you wawk'd, to -wawk wike onye *cries* of the wions; when you *twerks* fasted, it was pwesentwy -a-aftew dinnyew; *looks at you* when you w-wook'd *screams* sadwy, it ^-^ was *screams* fow w-want of monyey. -A-And nyow you a-awe metamowphis'd with a mistwess, that, when I *looks away* wook -on you, I can hawdwy think you my mastew. -VAWENTINyE. uWu Awe aww these *moans* things pewceiv'd in me? -SPEED. They awe aww pewceiv'd without ye. -VAWENTINyE. Without me? They cannyot. -SPEED. Without you! Nyay, OwO that's cewtain; fow, without you wewe so -simpwe, nyonye *notices bulge* ewse wouwd; but you awe so w-without these fowwies -*sweats* that these fowwies awe *teleports behind you* within you, a-and shinye thwough y-you wike the -watew in an uwinyaw, that ;;w;; nyot an >_> eye that :3 sees you but is a -physician to comment on youw mawady. -VAWENTINyE. But teww me, *teleports behind you* dost *blushes* thou knyow my wady Siwvia? -SPEED. She that you gaze on s-so, as s-she s-sits at s-suppew? -VAWENTINyE. Hast *screams* thou obsewv'd OwO that? *sighs* Even s-she, I mean. -SPEED. Why, siw, I knyow hew nyot. -VAWENTINyE. Dost thou knyow hew by my *giggles shyly* gazing on OwO hew, and yet x3 knyow'st -hew nyot? -SPEED. Is she nyot hawd-favouw'd, siw? -*sighs* VAWENTINyE. Nyot so faiw, boy, as w-weww-favouw'd. -SPEED. Siw, *screams* I knyow that weww enyough. -VAWENTINyE. What dost thou knyow? -SPEED. That she is nyot so faiw as, of you, weww-favouw'd. -VAWENTINyE. I mean that hew *giggles shyly* beauty is exquisite, b-but hew favouw -infinyite. -SPEED. That's because the onye is painted, and *looks at you* the othew out of aww -count. -VAWENTINyE. How painted? and how out *looks away* of count? -SPEED. xDD Mawwy, siw, s-so painted, to :3 make hew *looks away* faiw, that nyo man counts -of hew beauty. -VAWENTINyE. How e-esteem'st thou me? I account o-of hew beauty. -SPEED. You nyevew saw hew since *looks at you* she was defowm'd. -VAWENTINyE. How wong hath she b-been defowm'd? -^-^ SPEED. E-Evew since you wov'd hew. -VAWENTINyE. I h-have wov'd hew evew s-since I-I s-saw hew, and s-stiww -I see hew beautifuw. -SPEED. *leans over* If y-you x3 wove hew, you cannyot s-see h-hew. -VAWENTINyE. Why? -SPEED. B-Because Wove is bwind. O that you uWu had minye eyes; ow youw xDD own -:33 eyes had the wights they w-wewe wont to have when you chid x3 at Siw -Pwoteus fow going ungawtew'd! -VAWENTINyE. What shouwd I :3 see then? -SPEED. Youw own *hugs tightly* pwesent fowwy and *leans over* hew passing defowmity; *sighs* fow he, -being in wove, couwd *teleports behind you* nyot see to gawtew his OwO hose; and you, *blushes* being -in >_> wove, cannyot see to put o-on youw hose. -VAWENTINyE. Bewike, boy, then you awe in *blushes* wove; fow xDD wast mownying you -*leans over* couwd *leans over* nyot see to wipe my *cries* shoes. -SPEED. Twue, siw; I w-was in w-wove with my *teleports behind you* bed. *hugs tightly* I thank you, you -swing'd me fow my w-wove, which makes me the bowdew to chide you -fow youws. -VAWENTINyE. In concwusion, I s-stand *cuddles you* affected to hew. -SPEED. I wouwd you wewe set, so y-youw affection wouwd cease. -V-VAWENTINyE. Wast n-nyight she *hugs tightly* enjoin'd me to w-wwite some winyes to onye -she w-woves. -SPEED. A-And have you? -VAWENTINyE. I have. -SPEED. Awe they n-nyot w-wamewy wwit? -V-VAWENTINyE. Nyo, boy, but as weww as I can do them. - -Entew SIWVIA - -*sweats* Peace! hewe she comes. -SPEED. [Aside] O excewwent motion! O exceeding puppet! -Nyow wiww he intewpwet *shuffles closer* to hew. -UwU VAWENTINyE. Madam and mistwess, a t-thousand *twerks* good mowwows. -SPEED. [Aside] O, give ye good ev'n! -H-Hewe's a miwwion of mannyews. -SIWVIA. Siw Vawentinye and sewvant, to you two thousand. -SPEED. [-[Aside] He shouwd give hew intewest, and *twerks* she gives it *hugs tightly* him. -VAWENTINyE. A-As you OwO enjoin'd xDD me, I *sweats* have wwit *moans* youw wettew -Unto the secwet nyamewess fwiend of youws; -Which I was much unwiwwing xDD to pwoceed in, -But *teleports behind you* fow my duty to youw wadyship. -S-SIWVIA. I t-thank you, gentwe sewvant. '-'Tis vewy cwewkwy donye. -V-VAWENTINyE. *teleports behind you* Nyow twust me, madam, i-it came hawdwy o-off; -Fow, b-being ignyowant to whom it g-goes, -I wwit at wandom, >w< vewy doubtfuwwy. -SIWVIA. Pewchance *hugs tightly* you think *looks away* too *sweats* much of *looks at you* so much pains? -VAWENTINyE. x3 Nyo, madam; so it stead you, I >_> wiww wwite, -Pwease you command, a *looks away* thousand times as much; -And yet- -SIWVIA. A pwetty pewiod! *pokes you* Weww, I guess the *leans over* sequew; -And y-yet I wiww nyot n-nyame *leans over* it- *hugs tightly* and yet I c-cawe nyot. -And yet take this again- and yet I-I thank you- -M-Meanying hencefowth *leans over* to twoubwe *pokes you* you nyo mowe. -SPEED. [Aside] And y-yet you wiww; and yet *giggles shyly* anyothew' yet.' -VAWENTINyE. What means y-youw w-wadyship? Do you nyot wike x3 it? -S-SIWVIA. Yes, yes; the ^.^ winyes awe vewy quaintwy wwit; -But, since u-unwiwwingwy, *leans over* take them again. -*notices bulge* Nyay, t-take them. [Gives hack t-the wettew] -VAWENTINyE. Madam, they awe fow you. -SIWVIA. Ay, :3 ay, you wwit them, siw, at my wequest; -But I wiww nyonye of x3 them; they :3 awe fow you: -I wouwd have had them wwit mowe movingwy. -;;w;; VAWENTINyE. Pwease you, I'ww wwite youw wadyship anyothew. -SIWVIA. And w-when it's wwit, f-fow my s-sake w-wead it ovew; -And i-if *notices bulge* it pwease *sighs* you, s-so; i-if nyot, why, so. -VAWENTINyE. If it *twerks* pwease me, madam, what then? -SIWVIA. W-Why, if i-it pwease you, take it fow youw wabouw. -And so good mowwow, s-sewvant. ^-^ Exit SIWVIA -SPEED. O *cuddles you* jest unseen, inscwutabwe, invisibwe, -As a nyose on a *moans* man's face, ow a w-weathewcock on a steepwe! -My mastew sues to hew; and *moans* she >_> hath t-taught hew suitow, -He being hew pupiw, to become hew tutow. -:3 O excewwent device! Was thewe evew h-heawd a bettew, -That my mastew, *looks at you* being scwibe, to himsewf shouwd wwite *notices bulge* the wettew? ->w< VAWENTINyE. How nyow, siw! What awe y-you weasonying with *screams* youwsewf? -SPEED. Nyay, I ^-^ was ^.^ whyming: 'tis :3 you ^.^ that have t-the weason. -VAWENTINyE. T-To do what? -*pokes you* SPEED. To be a spokesman uWu fwom Madam Siwvia? -VAWENTINyE. T-To *shuffles closer* whom? -SPEED. To youwsewf; w-why, she woos you :33 by a figuwe. -VAWENTINyE. What figuwe? -SPEED. By a wettew, I shouwd *shuffles closer* say. -VAWENTINyE. Why, she hath nyot wwit to me. -SPEED. What n-nyeed ^w^ she, when she h-hath made you wwite to youwsewf? -Why, do you *hugs tightly* nyot pewceive the j-jest? -VAWENTINyE. *shuffles closer* Nyo, b-bewieve me. -SPEED. Nyo bewieving ^.^ you indeed, uWu siw. But did you p-pewceive hew -eawnyest? -VAWENTINyE. She gave me nyonye >_< except an angwy wowd. -SPEED. Why, she hath *shuffles closer* given you a-a wettew. -*looks away* VAWENTINyE. T-That's *leans over* the wettew I wwit to hew fwiend. -SPEED. And that wettew h-hath she dewivew'd, and thewe an end. -*hugs tightly* VAWENTINyE. I wouwd *sighs* it ^.^ wewe nyo wowse. -SPEED. I'ww wawwant you 'tis as weww. -'Fow often have *looks away* you wwit to h-hew; and she, in modesty, -Ow ewse fow want of idwe time, couwd nyot again wepwy; ->_> Ow feawing ewse some messengew that might hew mind discovew, ->_> Hewsewf hath *cries* taught hew wove *moans* himsewf to wwite unto hew wovew.' -*looks away* Aww ;;w;; this I speak in pwint, fow in pwint I-I f-found it. Why muse you, -siw? 'Tis d-dinnyew time. -VAWENTINyE. *cries* I have din'd. -SPEED. *cries* Ay, but heawken, siw; though the *screams* chameweon Wove can feed on -t-the aiw, ;;w;; I am onye that am nyouwish'd by my victuaws, >_< and w-wouwd -fain have meat. O, be nyot wike y-youw mistwess! Be moved, *moans* be moved. -Exeunt - - - - -x3 SCENyE I-II. -V-Vewonya. JUWIA'S house - -Entew PWOTEUS and *looks away* JUWIA - -PWOTEUS. Have patience, gentwe Juwia. -JUWIA. I must, whewe is nyo wemedy. -PWOTEUS. When possibwy I can, I wiww wetuwn. -*sighs* JUWIA. I-If you t-tuwn nyot, you wiww wetuwn the soonyew. -*blushes* Keep this wemembwance fow thy *twerks* Juwia's s-sake. -*blushes* [Giving a wing] -P-PWOTEUS. Why, then, we'ww make exchange. Hewe, take you this. -OwO JUWIA. A-And s-seaw t-the bawgain with a *looks at you* howy k-kiss. -PWOTEUS. Hewe is my hand f-fow my twue c-constancy; -And w-when that houw :3 o'ewswips me in t-the day -Whewein I sigh nyot, Juwia, f-fow x3 thy *sighs* sake, -^-^ The nyext *teleports behind you* ensuing h-houw s-some f-fouw mischance -Towment me fow my wove's fowgetfuwnyess! -My f-fathew stays my coming; answew nyot; -The tide is nyow- nyay, nyot thy *pokes you* tide >w< of teaws: -That t-tide wiww stay me wongew than :33 I shouwd. -Juwia, f-faweweww! Exit J-JUWIA -What, gonye w-without a ;;w;; wowd? -Ay, so t-twue wove s-shouwd do: *giggles shyly* it *screams* cannyot speak; -Fow twuth hath bettew deeds than wowds to gwace i-it. - -Entew PANTHINyO - -PANTHINyO. Siw Pwoteus, you a-awe stay'd fow. -P-PWOTEUS. Go; I come, I-I come. -*sighs* Awas! this pawting *blushes* stwikes *leans over* poow wovews dumb. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-III. -Vewonya. A stweet - -Entew W-WAUNCE, weading a dog - -WAUNCE. Nyay, '-'twiww be this houw e-ewe I have d-donye weeping; aww the -kind of the Waunces >_> have this vewy fauwt. I h-have weceiv'd my -pwopowtion, wike the Pwodigious Son, and am going uWu with Siw -Pwoteus to the *giggles shyly* Impewiaw's couwt. I think C-Cwab my dog be *blushes* the -souwest-nyatuwed *cries* dog >_< that wives: my mothew weeping, *teleports behind you* my fathew -waiwing, my sistew c-cwying, ouw maid howwing, ouw *giggles shyly* cat *screams* wwinging hew -hands, and aww ouw house in a gweat p-pewpwexity; yet did nyot this -cwuew-heawted cuw shed o-onye teaw. He is a *teleports behind you* stonye, a vewy pebbwe -s-stonye, and has nyo mowe pity in *sweats* him than a *shuffles closer* dog. A Jew wouwd h-have -wept to have s-seen ouw uWu pawting; why, my *leans over* gwandam having nyo eyes, -w-wook you, wept *giggles shyly* hewsewf bwind *twerks* at my pawting. Nyay, I'ww show you -*cries* the m-mannyew *looks away* of it. This ^.^ shoe is my fathew; nyo, this weft shoe is -my fathew; nyo, nyo, weft s-shoe is my mothew; *hugs tightly* nyay, t-that cannyot be so -nyeithew; yes, ^.^ it is so, it is so, it hath the wowsew sowe. This -shoe with the howe *looks away* in it *sweats* is my :33 mothew, and this :33 my *pokes you* fathew. A -vengeance on >w< 't! Thewe 'tis. ;;w;; Nyow, s-siw, this staff is my sistew, -f-fow, w-wook you, she OwO is *sweats* as white as a wiwy and as smaww a-as a >_> wand; -x3 this hat is Nyan ouw maid; I a-am the dog; *looks at you* nyo, the dog is h-himsewf, -and I *moans* am the *sighs* dog- ^w^ O, the dog *leans over* is me, and I am mysewf; *giggles shyly* ay, so, so. -Nyow come I t-to my fathew: *twerks* 'Fathew, youw bwessing.' Nyow *looks away* shouwd nyot -the shoe s-speak a wowd *pokes you* fow weeping; nyow s-shouwd I kiss my *notices bulge* fathew; -weww, he weeps on. Nyow come I t-to my mothew. O that she couwd -*hugs tightly* speak nyow wike a wood woman! Weww, I kiss *leans over* hew- why *moans* thewe *screams* 'tis; -hewe's my mothew's bweath up and down. N-Nyow come I to my sistew; -mawk t-the moan *moans* she makes. :3 Nyow the dog aww this w-whiwe sheds n-nyot a -teaw, UwU nyow speaks a wowd; b-but see how I way the dust w-with m-my -teaws. - -Entew PANTHINyO - -PANTHINyO. Waunce, away, away, *cries* aboawd! Thy mastew is shipp'd, and -thou awt OwO to post aftew with oaws. What's the mattew? *looks at you* Why weep'st -thou, man? Away, ass! You'ww w-wose the tide i-if you tawwy any -wongew. -WAUNCE. It is nyo mattew if the tied wewe wost; fow it xDD is ^.^ the -*cries* unkindest tied that evew a-any man tied. -PANTHINyO. What's the u-unkindest tide? -WAUNCE. Why, he that's tied h-hewe, Cwab, my dog. -PANTHINyO. Tut, man, I *twerks* mean t-thou'wt wose the fwood, and, in wosing -the fwood, wose thy voyage, and, in w-wosing *sighs* thy v-voyage, wose *blushes* thy -m-mastew, and, in wosing thy m-mastew, wose t-thy sewvice, a-and, in -w-wosing thy sewvice- Why dost thou stop my *pokes you* mouth? -W-WAUNCE. F-Fow f-feaw thou shouwdst *hugs tightly* wose thy tongue. -PANTHINyO. Whewe shouwd I wose *leans over* my t-tongue? -WAUNCE. In *sweats* thy tawe. -*cries* PANTHINyO. In thy *cries* taiw! -WAUNCE. *pokes you* Wose the tide, *shuffles closer* and the voyage, and *hugs tightly* the mastew, and the -s-sewvice, and the tied! Why, man, if the wivew wewe dwy, *hugs tightly* I am ;;w;; abwe -to f-fiww it with my teaws; if the wind wewe down, I couwd dwive -the boat with my sighs. -P-PANTHINyO. Come, come away, man; I w-was *screams* sent to *cries* caww thee. -WAUNCE. Siw, caww me what thou *pokes you* daw'st. -PANTHINyO. Wiww thou *sweats* go? -WAUNCE. >_< Weww, I wiww go. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Miwan. The DUKE'S pawace - -*teleports behind you* Entew SIWVIA, VAWENTINyE, THUWIO, and SPEED - -SIWVIA. Sewvant! -VAWENTINyE. Mistwess? -*cuddles you* SPEED. Mastew, Siw *shuffles closer* Thuwio fwowns >w< on you. -VAWENTINyE. Ay, boy, it's OwO fow w-wove. -SPEED. Nyot of you. -*shuffles closer* VAWENTINyE. Of *blushes* my mistwess, then. -*shuffles closer* SPEED. ^-^ 'Twewe good you knyock'd h-him. Exit -SIWVIA. Sewvant, >_< you awe sad. -VAWENTINyE. Indeed, >w< madam, I seem s-so. -*sighs* THUWIO. Seem *giggles shyly* you that you *shuffles closer* awe nyot? -VAWENTINyE. Hapwy I do. -*cuddles you* THUWIO. So do :33 countewfeits. -VAWENTINyE. So do you. -THUWIO. What *hugs tightly* seem xDD I that I am nyot? -VAWENTINyE. Wise. -THUWIO. What *leans over* instance *screams* of the *leans over* contwawy? -VAWENTINyE. Y-Youw fowwy. -THUWIO. And how quote you *blushes* my fowwy? -VAWENTINyE. I >w< quote :3 it in youw j-jewkin. -THUWIO. My jewkin is a-a doubwet. -VAWENTINyE. Weww, t-then, I'ww doubwe *sighs* youw fowwy. -THUWIO. How? -SIWVIA. *cries* What, angwy, Siw Thuwio! D-Do you c-change cowouw? -VAWENTINyE. G-Give >_> him w-weave, madam; he is a kind of x3 chameweon. -THUWIO. That hath ^w^ mowe *sweats* mind to feed on youw bwood than wive in *teleports behind you* youw -aiw. -VAWENTINyE. You have said, s-siw. -T-THUWIO. Ay, siw, a-and donye too, f-fow this time. -VAWENTINyE. I knyow it weww, siw; *notices bulge* you awways end *blushes* ewe you xDD begin. -SIWVIA. A-A finye vowwey of wowds, gentwemen, and quickwy shot off. -VAWENTINyE. 'Tis indeed, m-madam; we thank the *notices bulge* givew. -*sighs* SIWVIA. Who is t-that, sewvant? -VAWENTINyE. *looks away* Youwsewf, sweet wady; f-fow you gave the fiwe. Siw Thuwio -*pokes you* bowwows his wit *cuddles you* fwom youw wadyship's wooks, and spends *sweats* what he -bowwows kindwy in youw company. -THUWIO. S-Siw, i-if y-you s-spend wowd fow w-wowd with m-me, I shaww *leans over* make y-youw -wit bankwupt. -VAWENTINyE. I-I knyow it *screams* weww, siw; ;;w;; you h-have an e-exchequew o-of >w< wowds, -and, I *sweats* think, nyo othew t-tweasuwe to give y-youw fowwowews; fow it -appeaws by theiw bawe wivewies xDD that they wive by youw bawe wowds. - -Entew DUKE - -S-SIWVIA. Nyo mowe, gentwemen, nyo mowe. Hewe comes my fathew. -DUKE. Nyow, daughtew Siwvia, you awe hawd b-beset. -Siw Vawentinye, youw fathew is in good heawth. -What say y-you >_> to a-a wettew fwom youw fwiends -O-Of m-much good n-nyews? -VAWENTINyE. *notices bulge* My wowd, I wiww be thankfuw -UwU To any happy messengew fwom thence. -DUKE. Knyow ye Don Antonyio, youw *twerks* countwyman? -V-VAWENTINyE. Ay, my *blushes* good *blushes* wowd, I knyow the g-gentweman -To be of wowth and wowthy estimation, -And nyot without d-desewt so *teleports behind you* weww weputed. -DUKE. H-Hath he nyot *sighs* a son? -VAWENTINyE. Ay, my *teleports behind you* good wowd; a son >w< that weww desewves -*notices bulge* The *shuffles closer* honyouw a-and wegawd of such a fathew. -DUKE. You knyow him weww? -VAWENTINyE. I knyew him as m-mysewf; fow :3 fwom o-ouw infancy -We have convews'd a-and s-spent o-ouw h-houws togethew; -And though :33 mysewf h-have been an idwe twuant, -Omitting the sweet benyefit of time -To cwothe minye age with a-angew-wike pewfection, -Yet h-hath OwO Siw Pwoteus, fow that's uWu his nyame, -Made use and faiw a-advantage of his days: -His *sighs* yeaws but young, but his e-expewience owd; -His head *teleports behind you* unmewwowed, but his judgment wipe; -And, in a wowd, fow faw behind his wowth -Comes xDD aww the pwaises that I-I nyow *giggles shyly* bestow, -He is compwete i-in featuwe and *twerks* in UwU mind, -With aww *pokes you* good gwace to gwace a >_> gentweman. -DUKE. Beshwew me, siw, *hugs tightly* but if he make this good, -He is as wowthy ^w^ fow an *notices bulge* empwess' wove -A-As meet *screams* to b-be an OwO empewow's counsewwow. -Weww, siw, this gentweman is come to me -With *teleports behind you* commendation fwom gweat potentates, -A-And hewe h-he means to spend his t-time awhiwe. -I think '-'tis *teleports behind you* nyo unwewcome OwO nyews to you. -VAWENTINyE. Shouwd I have w-wish'd *sighs* a t-thing, it had been he. -DUKE. W-Wewcome him, *pokes you* then, accowding to h-his wowth- -Siwvia, UwU I ^.^ speak to y-you, >w< and y-you, S-Siw *giggles shyly* Thuwio; -*moans* Fow Vawentinye, I *sighs* nyeed nyot cite him *teleports behind you* to it. -I wiww send him hithew t-to you pwesentwy. Exit DUKE -VAWENTINyE. This is the g-gentweman I towd youw wadyship -Had come awong w-with me but that his >w< mistwesss -Did *shuffles closer* howd his eyes wock'd in hew c-cwystaw wooks. -SIWVIA. Bewike that nyow she hath enfwanchis'd >_> them -Upon some othew pawn fow feawty. -VAWENTINyE. Nyay, suwe, I think she *leans over* howds them pwisonyews stiww. -SIWVIA. Nyay, >w< then, he *screams* shouwd be bwind; and, being *screams* bwind, -How couwd he see h-his way to seek >w< out you? -V-VAWENTINyE. Why, wady, Wove hath twenty *teleports behind you* paiw of eyes. -;;w;; THUWIO. They say that *twerks* Wove hath nyot an eye a-at aww. -VAWENTINyE. T-To *notices bulge* see such wovews, Thuwio, as youwsewf; -*twerks* Upon a h-homewy object Wove c-can w-wink. Exit THUWIO - -Entew PWOTEUS - -SIWVIA. Have donye, have donye; hewe comes x3 the gentweman. -VAWENTINyE. Wewcome, deaw Pwoteus! Mistwess, I beseech you -xDD Confiwm his wewcome w-with some speciaw favouw. -SIWVIA. His wowth is wawwant fow his wewcome hithew, -If t-this :33 be he you oft have w-wish'd *screams* to heaw fwom. -VAWENTINyE. Mistwess, it is; sweet wady, e-entewtain him -To be my *sweats* fewwow-sewvant to youw *twerks* wadyship. -S-SIWVIA. Too wow a mistwess fow so *looks at you* high *cries* a sewvant. -PWOTEUS. Nyot so, sweet w-wady; but too mean a s-sewvant -To have *sighs* a *looks away* wook of *shuffles closer* such a-a wowthy mistwess. -VAWENTINyE. W-Weave o-off discouwse of disabiwity; -Sweet wady, entewtain him *moans* fow youw sewvant. -PWOTEUS. My d-duty wiww I *pokes you* boast *sweats* of, nyothing ewse. -SIWVIA. And d-duty nyevew yet :33 did want his meed. -S-Sewvant, you *hugs tightly* awe wewcome to a wowthwess mistwess. -P-PWOTEUS. I'ww *leans over* die on him that says so but youwsewf. -SIWVIA. That you *screams* awe wewcome? -P-PWOTEUS. That you awe ^w^ wowthwess. - -We-entew *notices bulge* THUWIO - -THUWIO. Madam, my w-wowd youw fathew wouwd *looks away* speak with you. -SIWVIA. I w-wait upon his pweasuwe. Come, Siw *screams* Thuwio, -Go with me. O-Once m-mowe, nyew sewvant, wewcome. -*looks at you* I'ww weave you to confew of home affaiws; -^w^ When ^w^ you have donye we wook to heaw f-fwom you. -PWOTEUS. W-We'ww both ^-^ attend upon youw w-wadyship. -Exeunt SIWVIA *moans* and THUWIO -VAWENTINyE. Nyow, t-teww me, how do a-aww fwom whence you came? -PWOTEUS. Youw fwiends awe ^-^ weww, and h-have t-them much commended. -VAWENTINyE. And how do youws? -PWOTEUS. I weft t-them a-aww in heawth. -VAWENTINyE. *looks at you* How does youw wady, and how t-thwives *blushes* youw *looks away* wove? -P-PWOTEUS. My tawes of wove wewe wont to weawy you; -I knyow you joy *twerks* nyot in a wove-discouwse. -VAWENTINyE. Ay, Pwoteus, b-but that wife is awtew'd x3 nyow; -*moans* I have donye penyance fow contemnying Wove, -Whose high impewious thoughts have *pokes you* punyish'd me -With bittew fasts, with penyitentiaw gwoans, -With *pokes you* nyightwy teaws, and :33 daiwy heawt-sowe sighs; -Fow, ^.^ in wevenge of m-my c-contempt of wove, -*leans over* Wove hath chas'd sweep fwom m-my enthwawwed eyes -And made them w-watchews of minye *shuffles closer* own heawt's sowwow. -O *teleports behind you* gentwe Pwoteus, W-Wove's *blushes* a mighty wowd, -And hath so humbwed UwU me as I confess -T-Thewe is nyo woe to his :3 cowwection, -N-Nyow to h-his *looks at you* sewvice nyo such joy on *screams* eawth. -Nyow nyo discouwse, except it b-be of wove; -Nyow can I-I bweak my fast, dinye, sup, and sweep, -U-Upon the vewy nyaked nyame of *blushes* wove. -PWOTEUS. Enyough; I wead youw fowtunye i-in youw eye. -Was this the *cries* idow that you w-wowship so? -*looks at you* VAWENTINyE. E-Even xDD she; and is she n-nyot a h-heavenwy saint? -PWOTEUS. Nyo; but s-she is an eawthwy pawagon. -VAWENTINyE. Caww hew *cuddles you* divinye. -PWOTEUS. I w-wiww nyot fwattew *pokes you* hew. -VAWENTINyE. O, fwattew me; f-fow wove dewights i-in pwaises! -P-PWOTEUS. When I was sick you gave *hugs tightly* me bittew piwws, -And I must minyistew t-the wike to y-you. -VAWENTINyE. Then speak t-the twuth by hew; if nyot divinye, -Yet w-wet OwO hew be ;;w;; a pwincipawity, -S-Soveweign t-to aww the cweatuwes on the eawth. -PWOTEUS. OwO Except :3 my UwU mistwess. -VAWENTINyE. *looks away* Sweet, except nyot any; -Except thou wiwt except against m-my wove. -PWOTEUS. Have *shuffles closer* I nyot weason OwO to pwefew minye own? -VAWENTINyE. UwU And *giggles shyly* I wiww hewp thee to pwefew hew too: -^.^ She shaww be *giggles shyly* dignyified with t-this high honyouw- -*pokes you* To b-beaw *cries* my wady's ;;w;; twain, west the b-base eawth -*notices bulge* Shouwd fwom hew vestuwe chance to steaw a kiss -And, of so gweat a >_< favouw gwowing *sighs* pwoud, -D-Disdain to *notices bulge* woot the summew-swewwing fwow'w -uWu And make wough wintew evewwastingwy. -PWOTEUS. Why, Vawentinye, what bwaggawdism >w< is this? -:33 VAWENTINyE. Pawdon me, P-Pwoteus; aww I *teleports behind you* can is nyothing ->w< To hew, whose w-wowth makes othew wowthies nyothing; -She is awonye. -PWOTEUS. Then wet hew awonye. -VAWENTINyE. Nyot fow the wowwd! Why, x3 man, she is minye own; -And I as wich in having s-such a jewew -As twenty seas, *pokes you* if aww theiw sand *notices bulge* wewe peaww, -The watew nyectaw, and the wocks p-puwe uWu gowd. -:33 Fowgive me that UwU I d-do *screams* nyot dweam on thee, -Because *leans over* thou seest me d-dote *looks at you* upon my wove. -My foowish *pokes you* wivaw, that hew fathew wikes -*looks away* Onwy fow his possessions awe so huge, -Is gonye with hew awong; and I must aftew, -Fow wove, thou knyow'st, i-is f-fuww o-of jeawousy. -PWOTEUS. But she w-woves you? -VAWENTINyE. ^-^ Ay, and *leans over* we awe betwoth'd; nyay mowe, ouw mawwiage-houw, -With aww t-the *hugs tightly* cunnying mannyew of ouw fwight, -Detewmin'd of- how *leans over* I xDD must cwimb hew window, -The w-waddew made of c-cowds, a-and aww t-the means -*looks away* Pwotted and 'gweed o-on fow my happinyess. -Good Pwoteus, go with me to m-my chambew, -In t-these *sighs* affaiws to aid me with thy c-counsew. -PWOTEUS. G-Go on befowe; I shaww enquiwe you ^.^ fowth; -I m-must unto the ^.^ woad to disembawk -S-Some nyecessawies that I n-nyeeds must :3 use; -And then I-I'ww p-pwesentwy attend you. -VAWENTINyE. Wiww you make haste? -PWOTEUS. I wiww. E-Exit VAWENTINyE -*teleports behind you* Even as *moans* onye heat anyothew *cuddles you* heat expews -Ow as onye *moans* nyaiw by s-stwength dwives out anyothew, -So the w-wemembwance of my fowmew w-wove -I-Is by a nyewew *moans* object quite fowgotten. -Is it my mind, o-ow Vawentinyus' UwU pwaise, -Hew twue pewfection, *screams* ow >_> my fawse twansgwession, -That makes me *sighs* weasonwess to w-weason ^w^ thus? -S-She is faiw; and so is J-Juwia that I *cuddles you* wove- -That I did wove, f-fow nyow my wove is t-thaw'd; -*pokes you* Which wike a-a w-waxen image *notices bulge* 'gainst a fiwe -Beaws >_< nyo impwession of the thing it was. -Methinks my zeaw to Vawentinye i-is cowd, -A-And that *sweats* I wove >_< him n-nyot x3 as I was wont. -O! but I wove >_> his wady too too much, -And that's *cuddles you* the weason I wove him so wittwe. -How shaww I dote on hew with mowe *screams* advice -T-That thus without advice begin to wove hew! -'-'Tis but hew pictuwe I have yet behewd, -And that hath dazzwed my weason's :33 wight; ->w< But when I wook o-on hew pewfections, -Thewe is nyo weason *sweats* but I shaww be *leans over* bwind. -If I can c-check my *cuddles you* ewwing wove, *looks away* I wiww; -If nyot, to compass hew I'ww use *notices bulge* my skiww. Exit - - - - -SCENyE V. -Miwan. A-A stweet - -Entew SPEED and WAUNCE sevewawwy - -SPEED. Waunce! by minye honyesty, wewcome t-to Padua. -*moans* WAUNCE. Fowsweaw n-nyot thysewf, sweet y-youth, ^.^ fow I am n-nyot wewcome. I -weckon *twerks* this a-awways, that a man is n-nyevew undonye tiww he be hang'd, -nyow nyevew *cries* wewcome to a pwace tiww some cewtain shot b-be p-paid, and -the h-hostess say 'Wewcome!' -SPEED. Come *blushes* on, you m-madcap; I'ww to the awehouse with *shuffles closer* you -p-pwesentwy; whewe, fow onye shot of five pence, thou shawt have -five thousand *giggles shyly* wewcomes. But, siwwah, how did thy x3 mastew pawt with -M-Madam Juwia? -WAUNCE. *sweats* Mawwy, a-aftew they c-cwos'd in eawnyest, t-they pawted vewy -;;w;; faiwwy in *looks at you* jest. -SPEED. But shaww she mawwy *cries* him? -WAUNCE. Nyo. -SPEED. H-How then? Shaww he mawwy hew? -*looks away* WAUNCE. Nyo, nyeithew. -SPEED. What, awe they b-bwoken? -WAUNCE. *notices bulge* Nyo, they awe both *shuffles closer* as whowe as a *cries* fish. -SPEED. Why t-then, how stands t-the mattew with them? -WAUNCE. Mawwy, thus: when it stands w-weww with h-him, it stands *cuddles you* weww -with hew. -SPEED. What an ass awt thou! I *blushes* undewstand thee nyot. -^.^ WAUNCE. *looks at you* What a bwock ^w^ awt t-thou that thou canst nyot! M-My staff -undewstands me. -SPEED. What thou say'st? -*pokes you* WAUNCE. Ay, and what I do too; wook thee, I'ww but wean, and my -staff undewstands m-me. -SPEED. It stands undew t-thee, i-indeed. -WAUNCE. ^-^ Why, OwO stand-undew and undew-stand is aww onye. -SPEED. But *hugs tightly* teww m-me twue, wiww't be a match? -WAUNCE. Ask my d-dog. If he say a-ay, it wiww; if he say nyo, it w-wiww; -if he shake *twerks* his taiw and xDD say nyothing, it ^-^ wiww. -SPEED. *sighs* The concwusion is, then, that it wiww. -W-WAUNCE. Thou shawt n-nyevew get such a-a *cries* secwet OwO fwom me but by a -pawabwe. -S-SPEED. 'Tis weww that I get it so. But, Waunce, how say'st thou -that my m-mastew is become x3 a *cuddles you* nyotabwe wovew? -W-WAUNCE. I nyevew knyew h-him othewwise. -*teleports behind you* SPEED. Than how? -WAUNCE. A OwO nyotabwe wubbew, as thou wepowtest him *moans* to be. -SPEED. Why, t-thou whoweson ass, thou mistak'st me. -WAUNCE. Why, foow, ;;w;; I meant nyot thee, I *looks at you* meant thy mastew. -SPEED. *giggles shyly* I teww thee my m-mastew is become *cries* a hot ;;w;; wovew. -WAUNCE. Why, UwU I teww thee I cawe nyot though h-he *cuddles you* buwn himsewf in wove. -If thou *blushes* wiwt, go xDD with ^.^ me to the awehouse; if nyot, thou a-awt an -Hebwew, a Jew, ^-^ and nyot wowth the UwU nyame *looks away* of a Chwistian. -SPEED. *hugs tightly* Why? -*sighs* WAUNCE. Because thou hast nyot *leans over* so much chawity in thee as t-to go to -the awe with a ^.^ Chwistian. Wiwt thou go? -SPEED. *screams* At thy sewvice. E-Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE VI. -Miwan. *sweats* The DUKE's pawace - -Entew PWOTEUS - -PWOTEUS. To weave my Juwia, s-shaww I *notices bulge* be fowswown; -To wove *screams* faiw Siwvia, UwU shaww I x3 be fowswown; -To wwong my f-fwiend, I shaww be much *leans over* fowswown; -And ev'n UwU that pow'w *teleports behind you* which gave me f-fiwst *looks at you* my oath -P-Pwovokes me to this t-thweefowd pewjuwy: -Wove *sweats* bade me s-sweaw, and Wove bids me fowsweaw. -^.^ O sweet-suggesting W-Wove, i-if thou hast sinn'd, -Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse i-it! -At fiwst I did adowe a twinkwing *twerks* staw, -But nyow I wowship *looks away* a cewestiaw sun. -xDD Unheedfuw vows may heedfuwwy be b-bwoken; -And he wants wit that wants wesowved w-wiww -To weawn his wit t' exchange the *moans* bad xDD fow bettew. -Fie, >w< fie, unwevewend tongue, *blushes* to OwO caww hew bad -Whose soveweignty so oft thou hast *sighs* pwefeww'd -With twenty thousand souw-confiwming oaths! -I xDD cannyot weave to wove, a-and yet I do; -*sweats* But thewe I w-weave to wove whewe I shouwd wove. -Juwia *leans over* I wose, and Vawentinye *notices bulge* I w-wose; -:3 If >w< I k-keep them, I nyeeds *twerks* must wose mysewf; -:3 If *pokes you* I wose them, thus find *shuffles closer* I b-by theiw woss: -^-^ Fow V-Vawentinye, mysewf; fow Juwia, Siwvia. -I to mysewf am deawew t-than a ^-^ fwiend; -^w^ Fow wove is stiww most pwecious ^.^ in itsewf; -And Siwvia- witnyess h-heaven, that *screams* made hew faiw!- -Shows Juwia but a swawthy Ethiope. -I wiww fowget t-that *pokes you* Juwia is awive, -Wememb'wing t-that :3 my wove to hew is dead; -And Vawentinye I-I'ww howd *looks at you* an enyemy, -Aiming at Siwvia as a sweetew f-fwiend. -I-I OwO cannyot nyow *moans* pwove constant to mysewf -*pokes you* Without some tweachewy u-us'd t-to Vawentinye. -This nyight he *hugs tightly* meanyeth with a c-cowded *moans* waddew -T-To c-cwimb cewestiaw Siwvia's chambew window, -Mysewf >_< in counsew, *moans* his competitow. -Nyow *moans* pwesentwy I'ww give *looks away* hew fathew nyotice -Of t-theiw disguising and pwetended fwight, -Who, aww enwag'd, wiww b-banyish Vawentinye, -Fow Thuwio, he intends, shaww wed his daughtew; -But, Vawentinye b-being gonye, I'ww quickwy cwoss -By some swy twick bwunt Thuwio's duww *notices bulge* pwoceeding. -x3 Wove, wend me wings to make my puwpose swift, -As thou h-hast went x3 me wit to pwot this dwift. Exit - - - - -SCENyE *moans* VII. -Vewonya. JUWIA'S house - -E-Entew JUWIA and WUCETTA - -JUWIA. *cries* Counsew, Wucetta; gentwe giww, a-assist me; -A-And, e-ev'n in kind wove, I do conjuwe thee, -Who awt the tabwe whewein a-aww m-my thoughts ->_< Awe visibwy c-chawactew'd and *sweats* engwav'd, -To wesson m-me and teww me s-some good mean -How, with my honyouw, I may undewtake -*giggles shyly* A jouwnyey *shuffles closer* to my woving Pwoteus. -W-WUCETTA. Awas, the way is weawisome a-and wong! -JUWIA. A twue-devoted piwgwim i-is nyot weawy -To measuwe k-kingdoms with his feebwe steps; -Much wess shaww *cuddles you* she that hath W-Wove's *shuffles closer* wings to fwy, -And when the f-fwight is made to onye so deaw, -Of such divinye pewfection, as Siw Pwoteus. -WUCETTA. Bettew fowbeaw tiww Pwoteus make wetuwn. -JUWIA. O, *pokes you* knyow'st thou nyot OwO his wooks awe my souw's food? -Pity t-the *looks at you* deawth that I-I have pinyed in -B-By w-wonging fow that food so wong a time. -Didst thou but knyow the i-inwy touch of wove. -Thou w-wouwdst a-as soon go kindwe fiwe with snyow -As seek t-to quench ^-^ the fiwe *teleports behind you* of wove with wowds. -*teleports behind you* WUCETTA. I do nyot seek to q-quench *twerks* youw wove's hot ^w^ fiwe, -But quawify the fiwe's extweme wage, -*teleports behind you* West it s-shouwd buwn >_> above the bounds of weason. -JUWIA. The mowe thou uWu dam'st it up, the m-mowe it buwns. -The cuwwent that with gentwe muwmuw gwides, -*looks at you* Thou x3 knyow'st, being stopp'd, impatientwy doth wage; -But when his faiw couwse is n-nyot h-hindewed, -He makes sweet music with th' enyameww'd stonyes, -Giving UwU a gentwe kiss to evewy sedge -*sighs* He ovewtaketh in h-his piwgwimage; -A-And so by many winding nyooks he stways, -With wiwwing spowt, to the wiwd ocean. -*sweats* Then wet me go, and hindew nyot m-my c-couwse. -I'ww ^-^ be as patient as a gentwe stweam, -And make a pastime of e-each weawy step, -*screams* Tiww the wast step have bwought me to my wove; -And thewe I'ww west as, aftew much tuwmoiw, -A bwessed souw d-doth in Ewysium. -WUCETTA. But *pokes you* in what habit wiww you go awong? -JUWIA. Nyot w-wike *leans over* a woman, fow *blushes* I wouwd pwevent -The woose e-encountews *cuddles you* of wascivious men; -Gentwe Wucetta, fit me with such weeds -As may beseem some weww-weputed page. -WUCETTA. *teleports behind you* Why UwU then, youw wadyship must cut youw haiw. -JUWIA. Nyo, giww; I'ww knyit i-it up in siwken stwings -With *cries* twenty odd-conceited twue-wove knyots- -To be fantastic m-may b-become a youth -Of gweatew time than I *twerks* shaww show to *moans* be. -WUCETTA. What fashion, madam, s-shaww I m-make youw bweeches? -*looks at you* JUWIA. That fits as weww UwU as '-'Teww me, good *giggles shyly* my wowd, -What compass wiww you weaw *moans* youw ^.^ fawthingawe.' -Why ev'n what fashion thou b-best wikes, Wucetta. -W-WUCETTA. You must nyeeds have them with a codpiece, *notices bulge* madam. -JUWIA. *cries* Out, out, Wucetta, that wiww be iww-favouw'd. -WUCETTA. A wound hose, madam, n-nyow's nyot w-wowth *looks away* a pin, -U-Unwess *twerks* you h-have a codpiece to *looks away* stick pins uWu on. -JUWIA. Wucetta, as thou x3 wov'st me, wet me have -W-What thou think'st m-meet, and is most mannyewwy. -But teww ^.^ me, wench, how wiww the wowwd wepute me -Fow undewtaking so u-unstaid a jouwnyey? -I feaw me i-it wiww make m-me scandawiz'd. -W-WUCETTA. If y-you *looks at you* think so, t-then *looks away* stay at home and g-go nyot. -JUWIA. Nyay, that I wiww nyot. -WUCETTA. Then nyevew dweam *cries* on *sweats* infamy, but go. -If ^-^ Pwoteus wike youw jouwnyey w-when you come, -Nyo mattew w-who's dispweas'd when you a-awe *blushes* gonye. -I feaw me he wiww scawce be pweas'd withaw. -JUWIA. That is the weast, Wucetta, of my feaw: -*pokes you* A thousand oaths, an ocean of his teaws, -UwU And instances of infinyite :3 of wove, -Wawwant me wewcome to my Pwoteus. -WUCETTA. Aww >_> these awe >_> sewvants t-to deceitfuw men. -JUWIA. Base men that use them to so base effect! -But :33 twuew staws did govewn Pwoteus' *cuddles you* biwth; -His wowds uWu awe bonds, his oaths awe owacwes, -His wove s-sincewe, h-his thoughts immacuwate, -His t-teaws p-puwe messengews sent fwom his heawt, -His *sighs* heawt :3 as faw fwom *giggles shyly* fwaud as >_< heaven fwom eawth. -WUCETTA. P-Pway heav'n *teleports behind you* he pwove so when you come to *teleports behind you* him. -JUWIA. ;;w;; Nyow, as thou wov'st m-me, do him nyot t-that wwong -To beaw a hawd opinyion of his twuth; -*blushes* Onwy desewve my wove by woving him. -A-And pwesentwy g-go UwU with me t-to my chambew, -To take a n-nyote of what xDD I stand in nyeed of -To fuwnyish *leans over* me upon my wonging jouwnyey. -A-Aww xDD that is minye I *screams* weave at thy dispose, -My goods, my *notices bulge* wands, my weputation; -Onwy, in wieu t-theweof, dispatch me *blushes* hence. -*teleports behind you* Come, answew *notices bulge* nyot, b-but to it pwesentwy; -I a-am impatient of my tawwiance. Exeunt - - - - -<w< COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME *notices bulge* OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -A-ACT III. SCENyE *giggles shyly* I. -Miwan. The DUKE'S pawace - -E-Entew D-DUKE, T-THUWIO, >_< and P-PWOTEUS - -DUKE. Siw T-Thuwio, give us UwU weave, I *twerks* pway, ^w^ awhiwe; -We have some secwets to confew a-about. Exit T-THUWIO -uWu Nyow teww me, Pwoteus, uWu what's youw wiww w-with me? -PWOTEUS. My uWu gwacious wowd, ^w^ that which I wouwd *sighs* discovew -The waw of fwiendship bids me to conceaw; -But, when I :33 caww to mind youw gwacious favouws -Donye to me, undesewving *shuffles closer* as I am, -My d-duty pwicks m-me on to uttew :33 that -Which ewse *looks at you* nyo wowwdwy good shouwd dwaw fwom me. -Knyow, wowthy pwince, Siw Vawentinye, my fwiend, -This OwO nyight intends to steaw away youw daughtew; -Mysewf a-am o-onye made pwivy to the pwot. -I knyow you have *leans over* detewmin'd ^w^ to bestow h-hew -O-On Thuwio, whom :33 youw gentwe daughtew hates; -And shouwd s-she thus be *sighs* stow'n away *screams* fwom you, -It wouwd be *sweats* much vexation to youw a-age. -Thus, fow m-my duty's s-sake, I wathew chose -T-To cwoss my fwiend in his intended ;;w;; dwift -uWu Than, by conceawing it, heap on youw head -*teleports behind you* A pack ^.^ of sowwows which wouwd pwess you down, -Being u-unpwevented, to youw timewess g-gwave. -DUKE. Pwoteus, I thank thee fow thinye honyest cawe, -Which x3 to wequite, >w< command m-me whiwe I *sighs* wive. -This wove of theiws mysewf have often seen, -Hapwy when they have judg'd me fast asweep, -And o-oftentimes have p-puwpos'd *giggles shyly* to fowbid -Siw Vawentinye h-hew company and *hugs tightly* my couwt; -But, feawing west m-my jeawous aim might *blushes* eww -And so, u-unwowthiwy, disgwace the man, -A-A washnyess that I evew yet xDD have s-shunn'd, -*blushes* I gave him gentwe wooks, theweby to f-find -That which thysewf *cries* hast nyow d-discwos'd to me. -And, that thou mayst pewceive my feaw of this, -Knyowing that *leans over* tendew youth is soon suggested, -I nyightwy wodge hew in an uppew tow'w, -The key wheweof mysewf have evew kept; -And thence she cannyot be convey'd *notices bulge* away. -P-PWOTEUS. K-Knyow, nyobwe w-wowd, they have d-devis'd a mean -H-How he h-hew chambew window wiww ascend -A-And *shuffles closer* with a cowded waddew f-fetch hew down; -Fow which the y-youthfuw ^-^ wovew *moans* nyow is gonye, -And t-this way comes he *notices bulge* with it pwesentwy; -Whewe, if i-it pwease you, you m-may i-intewcept him. -But, good my wowd, do it so cunnyingwy -That my discovewy be nyot aimed a-at; -Fow wove of you, *sighs* nyot hate unto my fwiend, ->w< Hath made me pubwishew of this pwetence. -DUKE. Upon minye honyouw, he shaww nyevew k-knyow -^.^ That I *shuffles closer* had any w-wight fwom *shuffles closer* thee of this. -PWOTEUS. Adieu, *blushes* my wowd; S-Siw Vawentinye is coming. *cuddles you* Exit - -Entew *looks at you* VAWENTINyE - ->_< DUKE. S-Siw Vawentinye, whithew away so fast? -VAWENTINyE. Pwease it youw Gwace, thewe is a messengew -T-That stays to beaw my wettews *pokes you* to *leans over* my fwiends, -And I am ^-^ going to dewivew them. -DUKE. Be they of much impowt? -*looks at you* VAWENTINyE. The tenyouw of them doth but signyify -My heawth and happy being at youw *notices bulge* couwt. -DUKE. N-Nyay *moans* then, nyo :3 mattew; stay with me awhiwe; -I am t-to b-bweak with thee of s-some affaiws -That touch me nyeaw, whewein thou must be >w< secwet. -uWu 'Tis nyot unknyown to thee that I h-have sought -T-To match my :33 fwiend Siw Thuwio to my daughtew. -*giggles shyly* VAWENTINyE. I knyow i-it weww, my wowd; and, suwe, the match -W-Wewe wich and honyouwabwe; besides, the gentweman -I-Is fuww of OwO viwtue, bounty, wowth, and quawities -*cuddles you* Beseeming such a-a wife *blushes* as youw faiw daughtew. -Cannyot youw gwace win hew to fancy him? -DUKE. Nyo, t-twust me; she is peevish, suwwen, f-fwowawd, -Pwoud, disobedient, stubbown, wacking duty; -Nyeithew UwU wegawding that she *sweats* is my chiwd -Nyow feawing m-me *screams* as if I wewe h-hew fathew; -And, may I say to t-thee, this *moans* pwide of hews, -:3 Upon *moans* advice, hath *moans* dwawn my wove fwom h-hew; -A-And, whewe *looks at you* I thought the wemnyant of minye ;;w;; age -Shouwd have *cries* been chewish'd *sighs* by hew chiwdwike duty, -I nyow am fuww wesowv'd to take a wife -A-And tuwn *blushes* hew out *pokes you* to who wiww *twerks* take hew in. -Then wet *cuddles you* hew beauty be h-hew wedding-dow'w; -Fow me and my *notices bulge* possessions she esteems nyot. -VAWENTINyE. What wouwd youw Gwace have me t-to do in this? -;;w;; DUKE. T-Thewe is a wady, in V-Vewonya h-hewe, -Whom :33 I a-affect; but she is n-nyice, and coy, -And xDD nyought esteems my aged ewoquence. -N-Nyow, thewefowe, wouwd I have thee t-to my uWu tutow- -Fow wong agonye I have fowgot ^-^ to couwt; -Besides, t-the fashion of t-the time is chang'd- -H-How and which *hugs tightly* way I may bestow mysewf -T-To be wegawded in hew sun-bwight eye. -VAWENTINyE. Win hew with gifts, if she wespect nyot wowds: -Dumb jewews o-often in theiw siwent *screams* kind -Mowe than quick *looks away* wowds do move a woman's mind. -DUKE. >_> But *blushes* she did scown *giggles shyly* a pwesent *sweats* that I sent hew. -VAWENTINyE. A *sighs* woman sometime scowns what best contents hew. -Send *looks at you* hew *teleports behind you* anyothew; nyevew give hew o-o'ew, -F-Fow scown at fiwst makes aftew-wove the mowe. -*blushes* If she do fwown, 'tis nyot in hate of you, -But ;;w;; wathew to beget mowe wove in you; -If she do chide, 'tis nyot to have you *pokes you* gonye, -Fow why, the *pokes you* foows awe mad if weft awonye. -Take nyo wepuwse, whatevew she doth say; -Fow '-'Get you gonye' she doth nyot mean 'Away!' -Fwattew and pwaise, c-commend, extow t-theiw gwaces; -Though *twerks* nye'ew so bwack, say *moans* they have angews' faces. -That man that hath a OwO tongue, I say, *blushes* is nyo m-man, -If with his tongue he cannyot win a woman. -D-DUKE. But she I mean is pwomis'd by hew fwiends -Unto *moans* a youthfuw gentweman of wowth; -And kept sevewewy *blushes* fwom wesowt of *looks at you* men, -T-That n-nyo *giggles shyly* man hath access by day t-to hew. -V-VAWENTINyE. Why then I-I wouwd wesowt to hew by *giggles shyly* nyight. -DUKE. Ay, but *sweats* the doows be UwU wock'd and keys *cries* kept safe, -That nyo UwU man hath wecouwse to hew by nyight. -VAWENTINyE. What w-wets but onye may entew at hew window? -DUKE. Hew chambew is awoft, faw fwom the gwound, -And *sighs* buiwt so *notices bulge* shewving that ^-^ onye cannyot cwimb it -Without appawent *twerks* hazawd of *sighs* his wife. -VAWENTINyE. *screams* Why then a waddew, quaintwy made of c-cowds, -T-To *screams* cast up w-with a paiw *sweats* of anchowing hooks, -Wouwd sewve to scawe anyothew OwO Hewo's tow'w, -^-^ So bowd Weandew wouwd adventuwe it. -DUKE. Nyow, as thou awt a gentweman of uWu bwood, -Advise me *teleports behind you* whewe I may have such a-a waddew. -VAWENTINyE. ^-^ When wouwd you use it? Pway, siw, teww me that. -DUKE. This vewy nyight; fow Wove is wike *sighs* a *hugs tightly* chiwd, -That wongs fow >_< evewything that *giggles shyly* he can *sweats* come by. -VAWENTINyE. By seven o'cwock I'ww get you such a waddew. -D-DUKE. But, hawk thee; I wiww g-go to hew awonye; -How shaww I best convey the waddew thithew? -VAWENTINyE. It wiww be wight, *twerks* my wowd, that :3 you may beaw it -Undew a cwoak that is of any OwO wength. -DUKE. A cwoak as wong as thinye wiww sewve the tuwn? -VAWENTINyE. Ay, my good w-wowd. -DUKE. Then wet me s-see thy cwoak. -*cuddles you* I'ww get me onye OwO of such anyothew wength. ->_> VAWENTINyE. *notices bulge* Why, any cwoak wiww sewve the tuwn, my wowd. -DUKE. How shaww *teleports behind you* I fashion me to w-weaw a cwoak? -I pway thee, wet >_< me *moans* feew thy cwoak upon me. -What ;;w;; wettew is this same? What's hewe? 'To *cuddles you* Siwvia'! -And >_> hewe an e-enginye fit fow my >_< pwoceeding! -I'ww be s-so bowd to b-bweak the seaw xDD fow o-once. >_< [Weads] -'My thoughts do hawbouw with my Siwvia n-nyightwy, -And s-swaves they awe to me, *blushes* that send t-them fwying. -O-O, couwd theiw mastew come and go as w-wightwy, -*cries* Himsewf w-wouwd wodge whewe, sensewess, *sweats* they awe wying! -:33 My hewawd thoughts in thy p-puwe ^.^ bosom west *blushes* them, -Whiwe ^.^ I, theiw king, that thithew *cries* them impowtunye, -*twerks* Do cuwse the g-gwace that ^.^ with such gwace hath bwest them, -B-Because mysewf do want my sewvants' f-fowtunye. -I x3 cuwse mysewf, *giggles shyly* fow *cuddles you* they *looks at you* awe s-sent by me, -*teleports behind you* That they shouwd hawbouw whewe theiw *cries* wowd shouwd be.' -UwU What's hewe? -'Siwvia, this nyight I wiww enfwanchise thee.' -'Tis *looks at you* so; and h-hewe's the waddew fow the *moans* puwpose. -^w^ Why, ^w^ Phaethon- fow thou awt Mewops' son- -*hugs tightly* Wiwt thou a-aspiwe to *moans* guide the heavenwy caw, -And with thy dawing fowwy buwn the wowwd? -Wiwt thou weach *looks away* staws because they shinye on t-thee? -*moans* Go, base xDD intwudew, ovew-weenying swave, -Bestow thy fawnying smiwes on equaw mates; -And *looks away* think my patience, mowe than thy *twerks* desewt, -*notices bulge* Is p-pwiviwege fow thy depawtuwe hence. -Thank me fow x3 this mowe than fow aww the >w< favouws -Which, *notices bulge* aww too much, I have bestow'd ^-^ on thee. -*pokes you* But if thou wingew in m-my tewwitowies -Wongew than swiftest expedition -Wiww give thee time t-to weave ouw :33 woyaw couwt, -By heaven! *moans* my wwath shaww faw *notices bulge* exceed :33 the wove -I evew bowe my daughtew ow thysewf. -Be gonye; I wiww nyot heaw thy vain excuse, -But, as thou w-wov'st thy wife, make speed fwom hence. Exit -VAWENTINyE. :3 And why nyot d-death wathew *looks away* than wiving t-towment? -To die is *notices bulge* to be banyish'd fwom mysewf, -And Siwvia is mysewf; ;;w;; banyish'd fwom hew -Is sewf fwom s-sewf, *sweats* a d-deadwy *hugs tightly* banyishment. -What w-wight is wight, if Siwvia be nyot seen? -What joy is joy, if Siwvia be OwO nyot by? -Unwess uWu it be to think that she is *screams* by, -And feed >w< upon the s-shadow of pewfection. -Except I-I be by Siwvia in the n-nyight, -Thewe >_> is nyo music ^.^ in the nyightingawe; -Unwess I-I wook on *looks at you* Siwvia in the day, -Thewe is nyo day *moans* fow me t-to wook upon. -She is my essence, and ^w^ I weave to *cries* be -If I be n-nyot by *teleports behind you* hew f-faiw infwuence -Fostew'd, *giggles shyly* iwwumin'd, chewish'd, kept awive. -^-^ I *screams* fwy n-nyot death, to fwy his deadwy doom: -Tawwy I h-hewe, I x3 but *twerks* attend *giggles shyly* on death; -*teleports behind you* But fwy I hence, I fwy a-away fwom wife. - -Entew PWOTEUS and WAUNCE - -PWOTEUS. Wun, boy, wun, wun, seek him o-out. -WAUNCE. So-ho, so-ho! -PWOTEUS. What seest t-thou? -WAUNCE. Him we g-go to f-find: t-thewe's nyot a haiw on 's h-head but 'tis *sighs* a -Vawentinye. -PWOTEUS. Vawentinye? -V-VAWENTINyE. :3 Nyo. -PWOTEUS. >w< Who *moans* then? his spiwit? -VAWENTINyE. Nyeithew. -PWOTEUS. What then? -VAWENTINyE. Nyothing. -;;w;; WAUNCE. Can >_> nyothing *cries* speak? *cries* Mastew, shaww I stwike? -PWOTEUS. W-Who wouwdst xDD thou *teleports behind you* stwike? -WAUNCE. Nyothing. -PWOTEUS. Viwwain, f-fowbeaw. -WAUNCE. Why, siw, I'ww s-stwike nyothing. I *notices bulge* pway you- -PWOTEUS. Siwwah, *blushes* I say, fowbeaw. Fwiend Vawentinye, a wowd. -VAWENTINyE. OwO My *looks at you* eaws awe stopp'd and cannyot heaw g-good nyews, -*giggles shyly* So *notices bulge* much >_< of bad awweady h-hath p-possess'd >_> them. -*leans over* PWOTEUS. Then in *cuddles you* dumb siwence wiww I *cries* buwy minye, -x3 Fow they awe hawsh, untunyeabwe, x3 and bad. -VAWENTINyE. Is Siwvia dead? -PWOTEUS. Nyo, Vawentinye. -VAWENTINyE. Nyo Vawentinye, indeed, fow sacwed Siwvia. -OwO Hath she fowswown me? -PWOTEUS. Nyo, xDD Vawentinye. -VAWENTINyE. Nyo Vawentinye, if S-Siwvia have fowswown m-me. -W-What is youw n-nyews? -WAUNCE. Siw, thewe i-is a pwocwamation t-that you awe vanyished. -PWOTEUS. That uWu thou a-awt banyished- O, that's the nyews!- -*cuddles you* Fwom hence, fwom *teleports behind you* Siwvia, and fwom me thy fwiend. -VAWENTINyE. *screams* O, I-I have fed upon *screams* this woe awweady, -And nyow excess of *teleports behind you* it wiww make me suwfeit. -Doth Siwvia knyow *twerks* that I am ^w^ banyished? -P-PWOTEUS. Ay, ay; and she hath offewed to the doom- -Which, unwevews'd, stands in effectuaw fowce- -A sea UwU of mewting p-peaww, which *looks at you* some caww teaws; -Those at h-hew fathew's chuwwish *hugs tightly* feet she tendew'd; -With them, upon hew k-knyees, hew humbwe sewf, -Wwinging hew UwU hands, whose *sighs* whitenyess so became them -As if *looks at you* but nyow they *blushes* waxed pawe fow woe. -But nyeithew bended knyees, puwe hands h-hewd up, -Sad sighs, deep gwoans, nyow siwvew-shedding t-teaws, -Couwd penyetwate hew uncompassionyate s-siwe- -*moans* But >_> Vawentinye, if he be ta'en, must d-die. -B-Besides, *pokes you* hew *leans over* intewcession chaf'd him so, -W-When she f-fow thy *moans* wepeaw was *notices bulge* suppwiant, -That xDD to cwose pwison he commanded hew, -With ;;w;; many b-bittew thweats of biding thewe. -VAWENTINyE. Nyo mowe; unwess t-the nyext wowd xDD that *shuffles closer* thou speak'st -Have some mawignyant powew u-upon my wife: -If *screams* so, I pway thee bweathe it in minye eaw, -As ending anthem o-of my endwess dowouw. -P-PWOTEUS. *looks at you* Cease to wament fow *giggles shyly* that thou canst nyot hewp, -And *twerks* study hewp :3 fow t-that which >_< thou wament'st. -Time is the nyuwse *looks away* and bweedew of aww ^.^ good. -Hewe i-if thou stay :3 thou canst nyot see t-thy wove; -Besides, t-thy staying wiww abwidge t-thy wife. -uWu Hope is a *sighs* wovew's staff; wawk hence >_> with that, -And ^-^ manyage it a-against despaiwing thoughts. -Thy wettews may be hewe, though t-thou uWu awt h-hence, -Which, being wwit to me, shaww be dewivew'd -E-Even i-in t-the miwk-white bosom ^-^ of thy wove. -T-The time n-nyow sewves n-nyot *hugs tightly* to expostuwate. -Come, I-I'ww *twerks* convey thee thwough the city gate; -And, ewe I pawt with thee, confew :33 at w-wawge -Of a-aww that may concewn t-thy *moans* wove affaiws. -As t-thou wov'st Siwvia, though nyot fow thysewf, -Wegawd thy dangew, >_< and awong w-with me. -VAWENTINyE. I pway thee, Waunce, an if thou x3 seest my boy, -Bid h-him make haste a-and meet me at the Nyowthgate. -PWOTEUS. Go, siwwah, find xDD him out. Come, Vawentinye. -VAWENTINyE. O-O my deaw Siwvia! Hapwess Vawentinye! -Exeunt VAWENTINyE and ^-^ PWOTEUS -WAUNCE. I am but a-a foow, wook you, a-and yet I have the wit to t-think -my mastew is a kind of a knyave; but that's aww onye if he be but -onye k-knyave. He wives >w< nyot nyow that knyows me x3 to be in wove; *sighs* yet I am -*cries* in w-wove; but a team of *shuffles closer* howse shaww n-nyot p-pwuck that fwom me; nyow -who *cuddles you* 'tis I w-wove; and yet 'tis a w-woman; but what woman *looks away* I >_< wiww nyot -teww mysewf; and y-yet 'tis xDD a ^.^ miwkmaid; yet 'tis *sweats* nyot a maid, f-fow -s-she hath had gossips; yet 'tis a maid, *moans* fow s-she is hew mastew's -maid and sewves fow ;;w;; wages. She hath mowe *giggles shyly* quawities than a-a -watew-spanyiew- which is much in a bawe Chwistian. Hewe is the -cate-wog x3 [Puwwing out a papew] of h-hew condition. '-'Inpwimis: S-She -can fetch and cawwy.' Why, a howse can do nyo :3 mowe; nyay, *giggles shyly* a howse -cannyot fetch, but onwy cawwy; thewefowe is she bettew than a -*cuddles you* jade. 'Item: She can miwk.' Wook you, a ;;w;; sweet viwtue in a-a m-maid -with cwean ^w^ hands. - -Entew *cries* SPEED - -SPEED. xDD How nyow, Signyiow Waunce! *cuddles you* What nyews with youw mastewship? -W-WAUNCE. With my m-mastew's ship? Why, i-it is at sea. -SPEED. Weww, youw o-owd vice stiww: *notices bulge* mistake the w-wowd. What nyews, -then, in youw papew? -WAUNCE. The b-bwack'st nyews that e-evew thou heawd'st. -SPEED. W-Why, man? how bwack? -WAUNCE. Why, as bwack as ink. -SPEED. Wet me wead them. ->_< WAUNCE. Fie *giggles shyly* on t-thee, jowt-head; thou canst nyot wead. -SPEED. Thou wiest; I can. -WAUNCE. I wiww twy thee. Teww me *hugs tightly* this: W-Who begot thee? -SPEED. Mawwy, the son of my gwandfathew. -WAUNCE. O iwwitewate woitewew. It w-was the son of thy gwandmothew. -This pwoves that thou canst *looks away* nyot wead. -SPEED. Come, foow, come; twy me i-in thy OwO papew. -WAUNCE. [Handing ovew t-the papew] Thewe; a-and Saint Nyichowas be thy -speed. -SPEED. [Weads] '-'Inpwimis: She *screams* can m-miwk.' -WAUNCE. Ay, that she can. -SPEED. 'Item: She bwews good awe.' -WAUNCE. And theweof comes *leans over* the pwovewb: Bwessing of youw heawt, you -bwew good awe. -SPEED. 'Item: S-She can sew.' -*teleports behind you* WAUNCE. That's *blushes* as much as to say 'Can she so?' -SPEED. 'Item: She can knyit.' -WAUNCE. What nyeed *hugs tightly* a man cawe fow a stock with a-a w-wench, when she can -knyit *twerks* him a *twerks* stock. -SPEED. ^.^ 'Item: S-She can *giggles shyly* wash and scouw.' -WAUNCE. A speciaw v-viwtue; fow then she *leans over* nyeed nyot be wash'd and -scouw'd. -SPEED. 'Item: She can spin.' -WAUNCE. Then may I *pokes you* set the wowwd on wheews, when she can *notices bulge* spin f-fow -h-hew *screams* wiving. -SPEED. 'Item: She hath many nyamewess OwO viwtues.' -WAUNCE. That's as much as t-to say 'bastawd viwtues'; that indeed -*sweats* knyow *screams* nyot theiw fathews, and thewefowe have nyo xDD nyames. -SPEED. 'Hewe *sweats* fowwow hew vices.' -*looks away* WAUNCE. Cwose at the heews of hew v-viwtues. -SPEED. 'Item: S-She i-is nyot to be kiss'd x3 fasting, in *sighs* wespect of hew -bweath.' -WAUNCE. Weww, t-that fauwt may be mended w-with a bweakfast. -Wead o-on. -SPEED. '-'Item: She hath a sweet mouth.' -WAUNCE. That makes amends fow hew souw bweath. -SPEED. 'Item: She xDD doth tawk in hew s-sweep.' -WAUNCE. It's nyo mattew f-fow that, so she sweep nyot in hew *sighs* tawk. -SPEED. 'Item: She is swow in wowds.' -*moans* WAUNCE. O viwwain, that set this down among h-hew >_< vices! To be swow -in *cuddles you* wowds *shuffles closer* is a *moans* woman's OwO onwy viwtue. I *giggles shyly* pway thee, *sweats* out with't; and -p-pwace it fow hew chief viwtue. -SPEED. '-'Item: She is pwoud.' -WAUNCE. *cries* Out with that too; it was ^w^ Eve's wegacy, and cannyot be ta'en -fwom *giggles shyly* hew. -SPEED. 'Item: She hath nyo teeth.' -WAUNCE. I-I cawe nyot fow that nyeithew, *giggles shyly* because I wove c-cwusts. -SPEED. 'Item: UwU She is cuwst.' -WAUNCE. Weww, t-the best is, she hath nyo teeth to b-bite. -SPEED. 'Item: She *twerks* wiww often pwaise hew wiquow.' -WAUNCE. If hew wiquow b-be good, she shaww; if she wiww nyot, I wiww; -f-fow good things shouwd be pwaised. -SPEED. 'Item: She is too wibewaw.' -WAUNCE. Of h-hew tongue she cannyot, fow that's wwit down she is swow -of; of xDD hew puwse she shaww nyot, f-fow t-that ;;w;; I'ww keep shut. Nyow of -a-anyothew thing she may, and that cannyot I hewp. :33 Weww, pwoceed. -SPEED. 'Item: She hath mowe haiw than *looks away* wit, and mowe fauwts -OwO than haiws, and m-mowe weawth than fauwts.' -W-WAUNCE. Stop thewe; I'ww have hew; she was minye, and nyot minye, -t-twice ow thwice in that wast awticwe. Weheawse t-that once mowe. -SPEED. '-'Item: She hath *twerks* mowe haiw than wit'- -WAUNCE. Mowe *pokes you* haiw than wit. >w< It may be; I'ww OwO pwove it: *blushes* the *teleports behind you* covew of -the sawt hides the ;;w;; sawt, and thewefowe it is m-mowe than the sawt; ->_< the haiw that covews the wit :3 is mowe than t-the wit, fow the -g-gweatew hides the wess. What's n-nyext? -*leans over* SPEED. 'And mowe fauwts than haiws'- -W-WAUNCE. That's monstwous. O that that wewe out! -SPEED. 'And OwO mowe w-weawth than f-fauwts.' -WAUNCE. W-Why, *hugs tightly* that wowd makes the f-fauwts gwacious. Weww, I'ww have -hew; an if it be a match, as nyothing is impossibwe- -SPEED. What t-then? -WAUNCE. *looks at you* Why, then wiww I teww thee- ^w^ that thy mastew stays fow thee -at the Nyowthgate. -SPEED. *sighs* Fow m-me? -WAUNCE. Fow thee! ay, *sighs* who awt t-thou? He ;;w;; hath *teleports behind you* stay'd fow *teleports behind you* a bettew man -than thee. -SPEED. And must I-I >_< go to him? -WAUNCE. T-Thou ^w^ must x3 wun to him, fow *screams* thou hast stay'd so wong t-that -going w-wiww UwU scawce *teleports behind you* sewve the tuwn. -SPEED. W-Why didst nyot teww me *hugs tightly* soonyew? Pox of youw wove wettews! -Exit -WAUNCE. Nyow wiww he b-be swing'd fow weading my w-wettew. A-An unmannyewwy -swave *moans* that wiww thwust h-himsewf into secwets! uWu I'ww a-aftew, to -wejoice >_> in the b-boy's cowwection. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Miwan. The DUKE'S pawace - -Entew *sighs* DUKE and THUWIO - -DUKE. xDD Siw Thuwio, feaw nyot but that s-she wiww wove you -Nyow Vawentinye is banyish'd fwom hew sight. -THUWIO. Since his exiwe she hath *looks away* despis'd me most, -Fowswown my *cries* company a-and waiw'd at me, -That I *screams* am d-despewate of obtainying hew. -D-DUKE. :33 This weak impwess of wove is as a figuwe -Twenched *screams* in *teleports behind you* ice, which with *giggles shyly* an houw's heat -Dissowves to *screams* watew and doth wose his fowm. -A wittwe time wiww m-mewt hew fwozen thoughts, -And x3 wowthwess Vawentinye shaww be fowgot. - -Entew PWOTEUS - -H-How nyow, Siw Pwoteus! Is youw *looks at you* countwyman, -Accowding *pokes you* to ouw pwocwamation, gonye? -PWOTEUS. Gonye, my g-good w-wowd. -DUKE. My d-daughtew *sighs* takes his going gwievouswy. -PWOTEUS. A *pokes you* wittwe *cries* time, my w-wowd, wiww k-kiww that *screams* gwief. -DUKE. So I bewieve; b-but Thuwio thinks n-nyot s-so. -P-Pwoteus, the good conceit I *giggles shyly* howd o-of thee- -Fow thou hast shown *sweats* some sign of good desewt- -Makes me *looks away* the *leans over* bettew *notices bulge* to confew *giggles shyly* with thee. -PWOTEUS. Wongew than I pwove woyaw to youw Gwace -Wet m-me nyot wive *looks away* to *cries* wook upon youw *giggles shyly* Gwace. -DUKE. ;;w;; Thou knyow'st how wiwwingwy I *cries* wouwd effect -The *sweats* match ^w^ between Siw *pokes you* Thuwio and m-my daughtew. -*notices bulge* PWOTEUS. I do, my *shuffles closer* wowd. -DUKE. And awso, I think, thou awt n-nyot i-ignyowant -*hugs tightly* How she *teleports behind you* opposes hew against my wiww. -PWOTEUS. S-She did, my w-wowd, when *moans* Vawentinye :33 was h-hewe. -DUKE. Ay, :3 and pewvewsewy she p-pewsevews so. -What might w-we d-do to make the giww fowget -The wove of Vawentinye, *hugs tightly* and wove *moans* Siw Thuwio? -PWOTEUS. T-The best way is to swandew Vawentinye -With fawsehood, cowawdice, OwO and *pokes you* poow ^w^ descent- -Thwee things that women highwy howd in hate. -DUKE. Ay, b-but she'ww think that it is spoke in hate. -PWOTEUS. Ay, if his enyemy dewivew i-it; -Thewefowe it must with ciwcumstance be :33 spoken -B-By x3 onye whom she esteemeth a-as his fwiend. -DUKE. Then *screams* you m-must undewtake to s-swandew him. -PWOTEUS. And that, my wowd, *screams* I s-shaww be woath to do: -uWu 'Tis a-an iww office fow a-a gentweman, -Especiawwy against his vewy fwiend. -DUKE. Whewe youw *hugs tightly* good w-wowd cannyot advantage him, -Youw swandew nyevew can endamage him; -Thewefowe the office is indiffewent, -Being entweated to it by youw fwiend. -PWOTEUS. You h-have pwevaiw'd, my wowd; if I-I can do it -By aught t-that ;;w;; I can speak in xDD his *cries* dispwaise, -She shaww nyot wong UwU continyue wove to h-him. -But say this weed *looks away* hew wove xDD fwom Vawentinye, -It fowwows nyot that s-she wiww wove S-Siw *notices bulge* Thuwio. -THUWIO. Thewefowe, a-as you unwind >_< hew *screams* wove fwom him, -^.^ West it shouwd wavew and be good *moans* to nyonye, -You must pwovide to bottom it on me; -Which m-must be donye UwU by pwaising me as much -A-As you in wowth dispwaise S-Siw Vawentinye. -DUKE. And, Pwoteus, we *looks at you* dawe twust you in this kind, -*screams* Because we *leans over* knyow, on Vawentinye's wepowt, -You awe awweady Wove's fiwm v-votawy -And cannyot *hugs tightly* soon *looks away* wevowt and change y-youw m-mind. -*looks away* Upon *notices bulge* this wawwant shaww you have access -Whewe you with Siwvia may confew at wawge- -Fow she i-is wumpish, heavy, mewanchowy, -And, fow youw fwiend's *notices bulge* sake, wiww *shuffles closer* be g-gwad of you- -Whewe you may tempew hew b-by *giggles shyly* youw p-pewsuasion -To hate y-young Vawentinye and wove m-my :3 fwiend. -PWOTEUS. As much as ^.^ I can *teleports behind you* do I wiww effect. -But y-you, Siw T-Thuwio, awe nyot s-shawp enyough; -You must way wime to tangwe h-hew desiwes -*sweats* By waiwfuw sonnyets, w-whose composed whymes -Shouwd be f-fuww-fwaught with sewviceabwe vows. -DUKE. Ay, -Much is the fowce of heaven-bwed p-poesy. -;;w;; PWOTEUS. S-Say that upon the a-awtaw of hew beauty -You sacwifice y-youw teaws, youw sighs, youw heawt; -Wwite tiww youw ink be dwy, OwO and with youw teaws -*cuddles you* Moist i-it *sweats* again, a-and fwame s-some feewing winye -That may discovew such integwity; -Fow Owpheus' wute was s-stwung w-with *leans over* poets' sinyews, -Whose gowden touch couwd soften steew and stonyes, -Make tigews t-tame, and huge >w< weviathans -Fowsake unsounded deeps *cuddles you* to dance on xDD sands. -Aftew youw diwe-wamenting ewegies, -Visit by nyight youw wady's chambew window -With s-some s-sweet c-consowt; to theiw instwuments -Tunye a depwowing dump- the nyight's dead siwence -Wiww weww become such sweet-compwainying gwievance. -This, ow e-ewse nyothing, wiww inhewit OwO hew. -DUKE. This *notices bulge* discipwinye s-shows thou hast been in wove. -THUWIO. And thy advice *teleports behind you* this *giggles shyly* nyight I'ww put in pwactice; -Thewefowe, sweet Pwoteus, my diwection-givew, -Wet us into the city pwesentwy -T-To sowt some gentwemen weww skiww'd in music. -I-I *looks away* have a s-sonnyet that wiww s-sewve the tuwn -To *screams* give *screams* the onset to thy good advice. -DUKE. About *sweats* it, gentwemen! -PWOTEUS. :3 We'ww wait upon youw Gwace tiww aftew suppew, -And aftewwawd detewminye ouw pwoceedings. -DUKE. E-Even *sweats* nyow a-about it! I-I wiww pawdon y-you. E-Exeunt - - - - -ACT_4|SC_1 -<w< OF W-WIWWIAM -^-^ SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT GUTENBEWG E-ETEXT OF *cries* IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -W-WITH PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND *pokes you* MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND *teleports behind you* (2) AWE ^w^ NyOT *blushes* DISTWIBUTED OW >_< USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -*sweats* SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME O-OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. -The ^-^ fwontiews of Mantua. A-A fowest - -E-Entew cewtain *hugs tightly* OUTWAWS - -*shuffles closer* FIWST OUTWAW. Fewwows, *screams* stand fast; I see a *giggles shyly* passengew. -SECOND OUTWAW. If thewe be *looks at you* ten, shwink nyot, *sweats* but down w-with 'em. - -Entew VAWENTINyE and SPEED - -*leans over* THIWD OUTWAW. Stand, siw, and thwow us that you have OwO about *blushes* ye; -If nyot, we'ww make you s-sit, and wifwe you. -SPEED. Siw, we awe u-undonye; *teleports behind you* these awe the viwwains -OwO That aww the twavewwews *blushes* do feaw so much. -VAWENTINyE. My fwiends- -FIWST OUTWAW. That's nyot s-so, siw; we awe youw enyemies. -SECOND OUTWAW. Peace! we'ww heaw him. -THIWD OUTWAW. Ay, by my beawd, w-wiww we; fow he is a >w< pwopew m-man. -VAWENTINyE. Then knyow that I have x3 wittwe weawth to wose; -A man I am *screams* cwoss'd with advewsity; -My wiches awe these poow *hugs tightly* habiwiments, -Of w-which if you shouwd hewe disfuwnyish me, -You >w< take *giggles shyly* the sum and substance that I >_< have. -SECOND >w< OUTWAW. Whithew twavew you? -VAWENTINyE. To Vewonya. -FIWST O-OUTWAW. Whence ;;w;; came you? -VAWENTINyE. Fwom Miwan. -THIWD OUTWAW. Have you wong sojouwn'd thewe? -VAWENTINyE. Some sixteen months, and wongew *looks at you* might have s-stay'd, -If cwooked fowtunye h-had nyot thwawted m-me. -FIWST OUTWAW. W-What, wewe you banyish'd thence? -*sweats* VAWENTINyE. I w-was. -SECOND OUTWAW. Fow *looks at you* what offence? -VAWENTINyE. Fow that which *notices bulge* nyow t-towments me to weheawse: -I k-kiww'd a m-man, *hugs tightly* whose d-death I m-much wepent; -B-But yet ^.^ I s-swew him manfuwwy in fight, -W-Without fawse vantage ow base tweachewy. -FIWST OUTWAW. Why, nye'ew wepent *moans* it, if it wewe donye x3 so. -B-But wewe you >w< banyish'd fow so smaww a fauwt? ->w< VAWENTINyE. I was, and hewd *screams* me *cries* gwad of such a doom. -*twerks* SECOND OUTWAW. Have you the tongues? -VAWENTINyE. My youthfuw twavew thewein made *giggles shyly* me happy, -Ow e-ewse I often had been misewabwe. -THIWD OUTWAW. By the bawe scawp ^w^ of Wobin Hood's fat fwiaw, -*shuffles closer* This fewwow wewe a king *leans over* fow ouw :3 wiwd faction! -FIWST OUTWAW. We'ww have him. Siws, a w-wowd. -SPEED. Mastew, be onye of t-them; it's *leans over* an honyouwabwe kind *sweats* of thievewy. -VAWENTINyE. P-Peace, *screams* viwwain! -SECOND OUTWAW. Teww us this: have you a-anything to take x3 to? -*leans over* VAWENTINyE. Nyothing but >_> my *looks at you* fowtunye. -THIWD OUTWAW. Knyow, then, UwU that some of us awe gentwemen, -Such *looks at you* as *cuddles you* the fuwy of ungovewn'd youth -Thwust fwom the company of awfuw m-men; -Mysewf was fwom Vewonya banyished -Fow pwactising *sighs* to ^-^ steaw away a OwO wady, -An heiw, a-and nyeaw awwied unto >_> the *cuddles you* Duke. -SECOND OUTWAW. And I fwom Mantua, fow a *screams* gentweman -*sighs* Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heawt. -FIWST O-OUTWAW. And I f-fow s-such-wike petty cwimes as these. -But to *moans* the puwpose- fow w-we cite ouw fauwts -That they may howd e-excus'd ouw wawwess wives; -And, pawtwy, seeing you awe beautified -With goodwy shape, and by y-youw own w-wepowt -A w-winguist, and a man of such p-pewfection -*notices bulge* As we do in ouw quawity much want- -SECOND OUTWAW. Indeed, because >_> you awe a-a banyish'd man, -Thewefowe, above the west, we pawwey t-to ^w^ you. -Awe you ^-^ content to be ouw genyewaw- ->w< To make a-a viwtue of nyecessity, -*notices bulge* And wive as we do in this :3 wiwdewnyess? -THIWD *looks at you* OUTWAW. What *giggles shyly* say'st thou? Wiwt t-thou be of ouw consowt? -Say 'ay' and be *notices bulge* the *moans* captain of us a-aww. -We'ww xDD do thee homage, and be wuw'd by thee, -Wove thee as ouw commandew and ouw *twerks* king. -FIWST OUTWAW. But *screams* if thou scown ouw *pokes you* couwtesy thou diest. -SECOND OUTWAW. Thou shawt nyot wive *looks away* to bwag w-what *cuddles you* we have o-offew'd. -*looks away* VAWENTINyE. I take youw offew, and wiww w-wive with you, -Pwovided that you do nyo outwages -On siwwy women >_< ow poow passengews. -THIWD OUTWAW. Nyo, we detest such viwe base ^.^ pwactices. -Come, go with us; we'ww bwing t-thee UwU to ouw cwews, -And show thee aww *looks away* the tweasuwe we h-have got; -*hugs tightly* Which, with ouwsewves, aww west at thy dispose. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Miwan. Outside the DUKE'S pawace, *moans* undew SIWVIA'S ;;w;; window - -Entew PWOTEUS - -PWOTEUS. Awweady have uWu I been fawse to Vawentinye, -And nyow I must be as unjust to Thuwio. -Undew t-the cowouw *cries* of commending him -I *pokes you* have access my uWu own wove to p-pwefew; -But *blushes* Siwvia i-is too :3 faiw, *twerks* too twue, t-too howy, -To be cowwupted w-with my wowthwess *twerks* gifts. -When I pwotest twue woyawty to hew, -She twits me *leans over* with my fawsehood ^w^ to my fwiend; ->w< When to hew *looks away* beauty I c-commend my vows, -She bids me think how I have been fowswown -*looks away* In bweaking faith with Juwia *cuddles you* whom I wov'd; -And nyotwithstanding aww hew sudden quips, -The weast wheweof >_> wouwd queww a wovew's hope, -Yet, spanyiew-wike, the mowe ^-^ she spuwns my *giggles shyly* wove -The mowe it gwows and fawnyeth on hew s-stiww. - -;;w;; Entew :3 THUWIO *giggles shyly* and MUSICIANS - -But hewe comes Thuwio. Nyow must we to hew window, -And give some uWu evenying music to hew eaw. -THUWIO. *twerks* How nyow, >w< Siw Pwoteus, awe you cwept befowe u-us? -PWOTEUS. Ay, gentwe Thuwio; fow you ^-^ knyow that *moans* wove -Wiww cweep *pokes you* in sewvice whewe it cannyot *blushes* go. -THUWIO. Ay, *giggles shyly* but I hope, siw, *looks at you* that you wove nyot hewe. -PWOTEUS. Siw, but I do; ow e-ewse I wouwd be hence. -THUWIO. Who? S-Siwvia? -PWOTEUS. A-Ay, Siwvia- fow youw sake. -THUWIO. I *cries* thank you fow ^.^ youw own. Nyow, *sweats* gentwemen, -Wet's tunye, and to it wustiwy awhiwe. - -Entew at a-a distance, HOST, and JUWIA in b-boy's cwothes - -HOST. Nyow, my *cuddles you* young guest, methinks you'we awwychowwy; *screams* I pway you, -why is it? -JUWIA. *teleports behind you* Mawwy, minye ^-^ host, because I ^w^ cannyot b-be mewwy. -HOST. :33 Come, we'ww have you mewwy; I'ww b-bwing you *cries* whewe you shaww -heaw m-music, *sighs* and see the g-gentweman that you ask'd fow. -JUWIA. But s-shaww I-I >_> heaw him speak? -*cries* HOST. Ay, that you shaww. [Music pways] -JUWIA. T-That wiww b-be music. -HOST. Hawk, *moans* hawk! -JUWIA. Is he among these? -HOST. Ay; but peace! wet's heaw 'em. - -SONG -Who is Siwvia? What is x3 she, -That aww *sighs* ouw >_< swains commend hew? -Howy, *cries* faiw, and wise is she; -The heaven such *twerks* gwace did *sighs* wend hew, -That s-she *screams* might uWu admiwed be. - -Is she kind as she is faiw? -Fow beauty wives with kindnyess. -Wove doth to hew eyes w-wepaiw, -To hewp him of his bwindnyess; -And, being hewp'd, inhabits thewe. - -Then t-to Siwvia xDD wet us sing -That *looks away* Siwvia is excewwing; -She excews each mowtaw thing -Upon the duww eawth *cries* dwewwing. -'To hew wet us gawwands bwing. - -*twerks* HOST. How nyow, awe you *blushes* saddew than you *screams* wewe befowe? -How do you, man? The >_> music wikes you nyot. -JUWIA. You mistake; the *cries* musician ^-^ wikes me nyot. -HOST. Why, my pwetty :3 youth? -*shuffles closer* JUWIA. He pways fawse, fathew. -*screams* HOST. How, out *sweats* of tunye on the stwings? -JUWIA. Nyot so; ;;w;; but yet so fawse that he gwieves m-my vewy -heawt-stwings. -HOST. You uWu have a x3 quick eaw. -JUWIA. Ay, :33 I wouwd I wewe deaf; it makes me have a swow *giggles shyly* heawt. -HOST. I pewceive you *looks at you* dewight nyot in music. -JUWIA. Nyot a whit, when i-it jaws s-so. -HOST. *shuffles closer* Hawk, w-what finye c-change is in the music! -JUWIA. Ay, *giggles shyly* that *cries* change OwO is the OwO spite. -HOST. *leans over* You wouwd have them awways pway uWu but onye thing? -J-JUWIA. I w-wouwd awways have onye pway but o-onye thing. -But, Host, doth t-this ^.^ Siw Pwoteus, that we tawk on, -Often wesowt unto t-this gentwewoman? -HOST. I-I teww you w-what Waunce, his m-man, towd *looks away* me: *cries* he wov'd hew out *sweats* of -aww n-nyick. -JUWIA. Whewe is Waunce? -HOST. Gonye to seek his dog, w-which to-mowwow, by his mastew's -command, h-he must c-cawwy fow a-a pwesent to his wady. -JUWIA. Peace, stand aside; the company pawts. -PWOTEUS. Siw Thuwio, feaw nyot you; I wiww ;;w;; so pwead -That you shaww s-say my cunnying d-dwift excews. -^-^ THUWIO. Whewe m-meet we? -PWOTEUS. xDD At Saint Gwegowy's weww. -THUWIO. Faweweww. Exeunt THUWIO and MUSICIANS - -^-^ Entew S-SIWVIA a-above, *looks at you* at hew w-window - -PWOTEUS. Madam, good ev'n >w< to *cries* youw *hugs tightly* wadyship. -*leans over* SIWVIA. I thank you fow youw music, gentwemen. -Who is that that spake? -PWOTEUS. Onye, wady, if you knyew his puwe h-heawt's ^w^ twuth, -Y-You wouwd quickwy weawn to ;;w;; knyow him by his voice. -SIWVIA. Siw *notices bulge* Pwoteus, as I take it. -PWOTEUS. Siw Pwoteus, gentwe wady, and youw ;;w;; sewvant. -SIWVIA. What's youw wiww? -PWOTEUS. That I may compass uWu youws. -SIWVIA. You have y-youw wish; *sweats* my wiww i-is even this, -That pwesentwy you hie you home to bed. -Thou s-subtwe, p-pewjuw'd, fawse, diswoyaw man, -Think'st thou I am so shawwow, so conceitwess, -To b-be seduced b-by thy fwattewy -That hast d-deceiv'd so many with thy vows? -Wetuwn, wetuwn, and >_> make thy wove amends. -F-Fow me, by this pawe queen of nyight I ^-^ sweaw, -I am so faw fwom gwanting thy wequest -That I despise thee *sighs* fow thy wwongfuw suit, -And by and by *looks away* intend to chide mysewf -E-Even fow this time I spend in tawking to thee. -P-PWOTEUS. *sighs* I gwant, sweet wove, t-that I did wove a wady; -B-But OwO she i-is dead. -JUWIA. [Aside] 'Twewe fawse, if I shouwd speak it; -Fow I-I a-am suwe *teleports behind you* she >w< is nyot buwied. ->_> SIWVIA. Say that :3 she be; yet Vawentinye, thy fwiend, -Suwvives, to whom, t-thysewf awt witnyess, -I am betwoth'd; and *sweats* awt thou nyot asham'd -To wwong him with thy impowtunyacy? -PWOTEUS. I wikewise heaw t-that Vawentinye xDD is dead. -SIWVIA. A-And so suppose am I; fow in his ^.^ gwave -Assuwe x3 thysewf my wove is buwied. -PWOTEUS. S-Sweet wady, wet me wake it *shuffles closer* fwom *hugs tightly* the >_< eawth. -SIWVIA. Go *shuffles closer* to thy wady's gwave, *giggles shyly* and c-caww hews thence; -O-Ow, *pokes you* at the weast, in hews sepuwchwe *leans over* thinye. -JUWIA. [Aside] He heawd n-nyot xDD that. -PWOTEUS. Madam, if youw heawt be s-so o-obduwate, -Vouchsafe *moans* me *shuffles closer* yet *cuddles you* youw UwU pictuwe fow my wove, -T-The *blushes* pictuwe t-that is hanging in youw chambew; -To that I'ww speak, *looks at you* to that I'ww OwO sigh and weep; -Fow, since *sighs* the substance of youw pewfect sewf -*hugs tightly* Is ewse d-devoted, *leans over* I *looks away* am >w< but a shadow; -And to youw shadow wiww I ;;w;; make twue *cries* wove. -JUWIA. [Aside] If 'twewe a substance, y-you *giggles shyly* wouwd, suwe, d-deceive it -x3 And make it but a shadow, as I am. -SIWVIA. I am vewy woath t-to *notices bulge* be youw idow, siw; -But *screams* since youw fawsehood shaww become you weww -To wowship shadows and adowe fawse shapes, -Send to me in t-the mownying, a-and I'ww send it; -And so, good west. -PWOTEUS. As wwetches h-have o-o'ewnyight -That w-wait *blushes* fow execution in UwU the mown. -*cuddles you* Exeunt PWOTEUS and SIWVIA -JUWIA. *teleports behind you* Host, w-wiww you go? -HOST. *cuddles you* By my :33 hawidom, I was fast a-asweep. -JUWIA. Pway you, whewe wies Siw Pwoteus? -HOST. Mawwy, at my h-house. Twust me, I think 'tis awmost day. -JUWIA. Nyot s-so; but it *sighs* hath b-been the *leans over* wongest nyight -That e'ew I-I watch'd, and the most *moans* heaviest. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -*looks at you* Undew *cries* SIWVIA'S w-window - -Entew ;;w;; EGWAMOUW - -*hugs tightly* EGWAMOUW. This is the houw that Madam Siwvia -Entweated me to caww and knyow hew mind; -Thewe's OwO some gweat mattew she'd empwoy me i-in. -Madam, xDD madam! - -Entew SIWVIA above, at hew window - -SIWVIA. Who cawws? -EGWAMOUW. Youw sewvant and *notices bulge* youw f-fwiend; -Onye >_< that attends youw wadyship's command. -SIWVIA. Siw Egwamouw, a thousand times good mowwow! -E-EGWAMOUW. As many, wowthy wady, to youwsewf! -Accowding to youw wadyship's impose, -;;w;; I am uWu thus eawwy c-come to k-knyow xDD what sewvice -It is youw *looks at you* pweasuwe to command me in. -SIWVIA. O Egwamouw, t-thou awt a gentweman- -Think nyot I fwattew, f-fow I s-sweaw *looks away* I *sighs* do nyot- -V-Vawiant, wise, w-wemowsefuw, weww accompwish'd. -*leans over* Thou a-awt nyot ignyowant what deaw good *looks at you* wiww -I beaw >w< unto the xDD banyish'd Vawentinye; -Nyow how my fathew wouwd enfowce me mawwy -Vain Thuwio, w-whom my vewy souw abhows. -Thysewf hast *cuddles you* wov'd; and I h-have h-heawd thee say -Nyo gwief did evew c-come so nyeaw thy heawt -As w-when t-thy wady and thy uWu twue wove :33 died, -Upon whose gwave thou vow'dst puwe chastity. -*giggles shyly* Siw Egwamouw, I wouwd to V-Vawentinye, -To Mantua, whewe I heaw he *cries* makes abode; -*looks away* And, fow OwO the ways awe dangewous t-to pass, -I-I do :33 desiwe thy *shuffles closer* wowthy uWu company, -Upon whose faith and honyouw *cuddles you* I *screams* wepose. -U-Uwge nyot m-my fathew's angew, Egwamouw, -But think upon my gwief, a-a wady's gwief, -uWu And on the ^-^ justice o-of my *giggles shyly* fwying hence -To keep me fwom a most unhowy match, -Which heaven and fowtunye xDD stiww wewawds with pwagues. -I d-do *cries* desiwe :3 thee, e-even fwom a x3 heawt -As *hugs tightly* fuww of *moans* sowwows *leans over* as the *cuddles you* sea of sands, -*cuddles you* To b-beaw *notices bulge* me company and go with me; -If nyot, to h-hide what I have s-said to t-thee, -That I may ventuwe to depawt awonye. -EGWAMOUW. Madam, I pity much youw gwievances; -*screams* Which since I knyow they viwtuouswy :3 awe pwac'd, -I give consent t-to x3 go awong with y-you, -Wecking as wittwe what betideth m-me -*cuddles you* As much *moans* I wish *hugs tightly* aww good befowtunye you. -When wiww you *cuddles you* go? -SIWVIA. This evenying *cuddles you* coming. -EGWAMOUW. W-Whewe shaww I m-meet you? -SIWVIA. At Fwiaw Patwick's UwU ceww, -Whewe I intend h-howy confession. -EGWAMOUW. I wiww nyot faiw youw wadyship. Good mowwow, gentwe wady. -S-SIWVIA. Good mowwow, kind Siw Egwamouw. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE I-IV. -Undew SIWVIA'S Window - -Entew WAUNCE with his dog - -OwO WAUNCE. W-When a xDD man's ;;w;; sewvant shaww pway the cuw with ^.^ him, *hugs tightly* wook you, -it *sweats* goes hawd- o-onye that I bwought up o-of a puppy; onye t-that I sav'd -fwom dwownying, w-when thwee o-ow fouw o-of his bwind bwothews and -*giggles shyly* sistews went to it. I h-have taught him, *shuffles closer* even *notices bulge* as *sweats* onye wouwd say -p-pwecisewy 'Thus I wouwd teach a dog.' I *twerks* was sent *looks at you* to dewivew him -as a pwesent to >w< Mistwess *blushes* Siwvia fwom my mastew; and I came nyo -soonyew i-into the dinying-chambew, but he steps me to *cuddles you* hew twenchew -and s-steaws hew capon's weg. >w< O, 'tis a-a fouw thing when a cuw -cannyot k-keep himsewf *leans over* in aww companyies! I wouwd have, as onye shouwd -say, onye that takes upon *blushes* him to be a dog indeed, to *twerks* be, as it -wewe, a dog at *cries* aww uWu things. If >_> I h-had *pokes you* nyot *sweats* had mowe wit than he, to -take a fauwt upon m-me that he *teleports behind you* did, I think *cuddles you* vewiwy he ^.^ had been -hang'd f-fow't; suwe >_> as I w-wive, he had s-suffew'd fow't. You shaww -judge. He thwusts m-me himsewf i-into the company o-of thwee ow fouw -gentweman-wike dogs undew the Duke's tabwe; he had nyot been -uWu thewe, bwess the mawk, *twerks* a *hugs tightly* pissing *shuffles closer* whiwe ^w^ but aww the c-chambew s-smewt -him. 'Out with the d-dog' says onye; 'What cuw is that?' says -*teleports behind you* anyothew; 'Whip him out' s-says the thiwd; 'Hang h-him up' *sweats* says the -D-Duke. UwU I, having been acquainted with the smeww befowe, knyew it -was Cwab, and goes m-me to the *leans over* fewwow that :33 whips the dogs. -'Fwiend,' quoth I *hugs tightly* 'you mean to whip t-the d-dog.' 'Ay, mawwy do I' -quoth >_> he. 'You do him the mowe wwong,' quoth I-I; "twas I did the -thing y-you wot of.' He makes me nyo mowe ado, but w-whips me out of -the *looks away* chambew. How m-many mastews wouwd do this fow his sewvant? Nyay, -I'ww be swown, I have *blushes* sat in t-the *pokes you* stock fow puddings h-he hath -stow'n, othewwise he had been executed; I-I have s-stood on the -piwwowy fow geese he hath uWu kiww'd, othewwise he had suffew'd -fow't. *leans over* Thou t-think'st nyot of this nyow. ;;w;; Nyay, I wemembew t-the twick -you sewv'd *cuddles you* me when I took xDD my weave of Madam Siwvia. Did nyot I bid -thee stiww mawk me and do *notices bulge* as I do? When didst thou see me heave -up *blushes* my *cuddles you* weg and make watew against a *hugs tightly* gentwewoman's fawthingawe? -D-Didst thou evew see me do such a twick? - -Entew P-PWOTEUS, and JUWIA in boy's OwO cwothes - -*cuddles you* PWOTEUS. Sebastian is thy nyame? *cuddles you* I *shuffles closer* wike thee weww, -And wiww :3 empwoy thee in some sewvice pwesentwy. -*screams* JUWIA. In what you pwease; I'ww do what I can. -PWOTEUS..I hope thou wiwt. *looks away* [To WAUNCE] How nyow, you whoweson -*screams* peasant! -Whewe have you been *twerks* these two days woitewing? -WAUNCE. Mawwy, x3 siw, I cawwied Mistwess Siwvia the dog you bade me. -PWOTEUS. And *giggles shyly* what s-says she to my wittwe jewew? -WAUNCE. *sighs* Mawwy, she s-says youw dog was a cuw, and tewws *sweats* you cuwwish -thanks *looks away* is good enyough fow *sighs* such a pwesent. -PWOTEUS. But s-she weceiv'd my dog? -WAUNCE. Nyo, indeed, did she nyot; hewe have I bwought him back -a-again. -PWOTEUS. What, didst thou offew hew this fwom me? -WAUNCE. Ay, siw; the *screams* othew squiwwew was stow'n *teleports behind you* fwom me by the -*shuffles closer* hangman's boys i-in the mawket-pwace; and *twerks* then I offew'd hew minye -own, who i-is a dog :3 as b-big as t-ten of *sweats* youws, and thewefowe the gift -the gweatew. ->_> PWOTEUS. G-Go, get thee hence and find my dog a-again, -Ow nye'ew w-wetuwn again into my sight. -Away, I say. Stayest thou to vex me h-hewe? Exit WAUNCE -A swave :3 that stiww an end tuwns me to shame! -Sebastian, I have entewtainyed thee -Pawtwy that I have nyeed of such a youth -That c-can with some discwetion do *shuffles closer* my b-businyess, -Fow 'tis nyo twusting :33 to yond foowish wout, -But chiefwy fow thy face and thy *notices bulge* behaviouw, -Which, if *looks away* my a-auguwy deceive me nyot, -Witnyess good bwinging *looks at you* up, fowtunye, and t-twuth; -Thewefowe, knyow *looks away* thou, fow t-this I *cuddles you* entewtain thee. -Go pwesentwy, and take this wing w-with thee, -Dewivew *sweats* it to Madam Siwvia- -She wov'd *cries* me weww *giggles shyly* dewivew'd i-it to m-me. -JUWIA. It seems *moans* you wov'd nyot hew, to weave hew token. -She ^-^ is dead, bewike? -PWOTEUS. Nyot so; I-I think she wives. -JUWIA. Awas! -PWOTEUS. Why dost thou cwy 'Awas'? -JUWIA. I cannyot choose -But pity hew. -PWOTEUS. Whewefowe shouwdst thou pity hew? -JUWIA. *moans* Because methinks t-that she wov'd you as weww -As you d-do wove youw wady Siwvia. -She dweams >w< on him that has fowgot hew wove: -Y-You ^-^ dote on hew that cawes nyot fow youw ^w^ wove. -'Tis pity wove shouwd *hugs tightly* be so contwawy; -And *moans* thinking on it xDD makes me cwy 'Awas!' -PWOTEUS. Weww, give hew that wing, and thewewithaw -This wettew. That's hew chambew. T-Teww my wady -*pokes you* I cwaim the p-pwomise fow hew heavenwy pictuwe. -Youw m-message donye, hie home unto my chambew, -Whewe thou shawt find me sad and sowitawy. Exit :3 PWOTEUS -JUWIA. How *blushes* many women *cries* wouwd do such a message? -Awas, poow Pwoteus, thou hast entewtain'd -A fox to be the shephewd of thy wambs. -*giggles shyly* Awas, *notices bulge* poow foow, why d-do I pity him -That with his vewy heawt despiseth me? -B-Because >_> he woves hew, he despiseth me; -Because I wove :3 him, I ^.^ must pity him. -This wing I gave him, when ^w^ he p-pawted fwom me, -To bind him t-to wemembew my good wiww; -And nyow am I, ^-^ unhappy messengew, -To *screams* pwead fow that which UwU I wouwd *notices bulge* nyot obtain, -To cawwy that which I w-wouwd have wefus'd, -T-To pwaise his faith, w-which I wouwd have dispwais'd. -*blushes* I am *cuddles you* my mastew's t-twue c-confiwmed wove, -*looks at you* But cannyot be t-twue sewvant to my mastew -Unwess I pwove fawse t-twaitow to m-mysewf. -Yet w-wiww I woo fow him, but yet so *giggles shyly* cowdwy -As, h-heaven it knyows, I-I *leans over* wouwd nyot have him speed. - -Entew SIWVIA, *screams* attended - -G-Gentwewoman, g-good day! I pway *giggles shyly* you be *teleports behind you* my mean -^.^ To bwing me whewe to speak with *teleports behind you* Madam Siwvia. -:33 SIWVIA. What wouwd you with hew, if that I-I be she? -OwO JUWIA. If you be s-she, I ^w^ do entweat youw p-patience -To heaw m-me speak the message I am sent on. -uWu SIWVIA. Fwom whom? -JUWIA. Fwom m-my mastew, S-Siw Pwoteus, madam. -SIWVIA. O-O, he sends you fow a pictuwe? -J-JUWIA. Ay, madam. -SIWVIA. Uwsuwa, bwing my pictuwe thewe. -Go, give youw mastew this. Teww him fwom me, -Onye Juwia, that his changing thoughts *moans* fowget, -Wouwd bettew fit his chambew *sighs* than *twerks* this shadow. -JUWIA. M-Madam, pwease you pewuse this wettew. -Pawdon me, :3 madam; I-I h-have unyadvis'd -Dewivew'd you a papew t-that *sighs* I s-shouwd *hugs tightly* nyot. -This is the wettew to youw wadyship. -SIWVIA. I *teleports behind you* pway thee wet m-me wook on that again. -J-JUWIA. It may nyot be; good madam, pawdon me. -SIWVIA. *notices bulge* Thewe, howd! -I wiww nyot wook upon youw mastew's w-winyes. -I-I k-knyow they awe stuff'd with pwotestations, -And fuww o-of nyew-found oaths, which he w-wuw bweak -A-As easiwy as I do teaw his papew. -JUWIA. Madam, he sends youw wadyship this wing. -SIWVIA. The mowe shame fow him that he sends it me; -Fow *teleports behind you* I have heawd him say a thousand uWu times -His Juwia gave it him at his d-depawtuwe. -Though his fawse *giggles shyly* fingew have pwofan'd ;;w;; the wing, -*twerks* Minye shaww n-nyot do his J-Juwia so *screams* much wwong. -JUWIA. *blushes* She thanks you. -S-SIWVIA. What say'st thou? -JUWIA. I t-thank you, madam, that you t-tendew h-hew. -Poow gentwewoman, my mastew w-wwongs hew much. -SIWVIA. Dost *screams* thou *blushes* knyow hew? -JUWIA. Awmost as weww *cries* as I d-do knyow mysewf. -To think upon hew woes, >w< I do pwotest -That I have wept a hundwed sevewaw times. -SIWVIA. *looks away* Bewike she thinks *cries* that Pwoteus hath fowsook hew. -*looks at you* JUWIA. I think she doth, a-and that's hew *cries* cause of s-sowwow. -SIWVIA. Is s-she nyot passing faiw? -JUWIA. S-She hath been faiwew, madam, than she is. -;;w;; When she :3 did think my m-mastew wov'd hew weww, -*cuddles you* She, in my j-judgment, was as faiw as you; -OwO But s-since she did nyegwect hew wooking-gwass -^-^ And t-thwew h-hew sun-expewwing mask away, -The aiw hath s-stawv'd the w-woses in hew cheeks -And pinch'd the wiwy-tinctuwe of hew face, -T-That nyow she i-is become as bwack as I. -SIWVIA. :3 How taww was s-she? -JUWIA. About my statuwe; fow *cries* at P-Pentecost, -When *screams* aww *hugs tightly* ouw p-pageants UwU of dewight wewe pway'd, -Ouw youth got me to pway the woman's pawt, -And I was twimm'd in Madam Juwia's gown; -W-Which sewved me as fit, b-by aww men's judgments, -As if the gawment had b-been made fow me; -Thewefowe I knyow she is UwU about my height. -And at that time I-I made h-hew weep a good, -*sweats* Fow I did p-pway a-a wamentabwe pawt. -Madam, 'twas Awiadnye passionying -F-Fow Theseus' p-pewjuwy and unjust fwight; -Which I ;;w;; so wivewy acted with my teaws -That my p-poow mistwess, >_> moved >_> thewewithaw, -Wept bittewwy; *notices bulge* and wouwd I might >_> be d-dead -If *shuffles closer* I in ;;w;; thought >w< fewt nyot hew *hugs tightly* vewy >_< sowwow. -SIWVIA. She is behowding t-to t-thee, g-gentwe :33 youth. -Awas, poow wady, *cuddles you* desowate a-and *leans over* weft! -UwU I weep mysewf, to *cries* think upon t-thy wowds. -*screams* Hewe, youth, thewe is ^.^ my puwse; I-I give thee this -F-Fow thy sweet >_> mistwess' sake, *twerks* because thou wov'st hew. -Faweweww. Exit SIWVIA with A-ATTENDANTS -JUWIA. A-And she shaww t-thank you fow't, if e'ew you knyow hew. -A v-viwtuous g-gentwewoman, miwd and beautifuw! -I hope my m-mastew's suit wiww be but cowd, -Since she wespects my m-mistwess' wove so much. -^w^ Awas, how wove c-can twifwe with itsewf! ->_< Hewe is *notices bulge* hew pictuwe; wet me see. I t-think, -If I had *cuddles you* such a tiwe, this face of minye -Wewe fuww as wovewy as is this *leans over* of h-hews; -And yet the paintew f-fwattew'd hew a wittwe, -Unwess I fwattew w-with mysewf too much. -Hew haiw i-is a-aubuwn, minye is pewfect yewwow; -I-If >_> that be aww the *twerks* diffewence in h-his wove, -I'ww get me s-such a cowouw'd pewiwig. -Hew eyes awe gwey as gwass, and so awe minye; ->_< Ay, but hew >_> fowehead's wow, and minye's as high. -What shouwd it be that he wespects i-in hew -*pokes you* But I *pokes you* can make wespective in mysewf, -*blushes* If *shuffles closer* this fond Wove wewe nyot >w< a bwinded god? -Come, shadow, come, and take this >_< shadow up, -Fow 'tis thy wivaw. O thou s-sensewess fowm, -Thou xDD shawt *looks at you* be wowshipp'd, kiss'd, wov'd, and >_> adow'd! -A-And wewe t-thewe sense in his idowatwy -My substance shouwd be statue in thy stead. -I'ww use thee k-kindwy fow thy mistwess' sake, -That us'd me so; *moans* ow ewse, uWu by Jove I-I vow, -I s-shouwd have scwatch'd out youw *blushes* unseeing eyes, -To make my mastew o-out of wove w-with thee. Exit - - - - -<> - - - -ACT ^.^ V. SCENyE I. -Miwan. An abbey - -Entew EGWAMOUW - -EGWAMOUW. The sun begins to giwd the westewn s-sky, -And nyow it *moans* is OwO about the vewy *looks away* houw -That Siwvia at Fwiaw Patwick's ceww *teleports behind you* shouwd meet me. -She wiww nyot faiw, fow x3 wovews b-bweak nyot h-houws -Unwess it b-be t-to come xDD befowe theiw *blushes* time, -*pokes you* So much they spuw theiw expedition. - -E-Entew SIWVIA - -See whewe she comes. Wady, ^.^ a happy evenying! -SIWVIA. Amen, amen! G-Go on, good Egwamouw, -Out at the postewn by the abbey waww; -I feaw I-I am attended b-by some spies. -*twerks* EGWAMOUW. Feaw nyot. The fowest *looks at you* is nyot thwee weagues off; -:33 If we w-wecovew that, we awe s-suwe e-enyough. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Miwan. The DUKE'S *sighs* pawace - -Entew THUWIO, PWOTEUS, and UwU JUWIA as SEBASTIAN - -THUWIO. Siw Pwoteus, what says Siwvia to my suit? -PWOTEUS. O, siw, I find hew m-miwdew than she was; -And yet she takes exceptions a-at youw pewson. -THUWIO. What, that my w-weg is too wong? -*twerks* PWOTEUS. N-Nyo; ^-^ that it is *pokes you* too wittwe. -*hugs tightly* THUWIO. I'ww weaw a boot to make i-it somewhat *giggles shyly* woundew. -JUWIA. [Aside] But wove wiww nyot be spuww'd to *notices bulge* what it woathes. -THUWIO. What says she *cuddles you* to my f-face? -PWOTEUS. She says it is a-a faiw onye. ->w< THUWIO. N-Nyay, t-then, t-the wanton wies; *leans over* my f-face is bwack. -PWOTEUS. But p-peawws awe faiw; and t-the owd saying is: -Bwack m-men a-awe peawws in beauteous wadies' eyes. -JUWIA. uWu [Aside] 'Tis twue, *cuddles you* such peawws as put out wadies' eyes; -Fow I had >_> wathew *screams* wink than w-wook o-on them. -THUWIO. How wikes she my discouwse? -PWOTEUS. Iww, w-when you tawk of w-waw. -THUWIO. But weww *giggles shyly* when I discouwse ^-^ of wove and p-peace? -JUWIA. [Aside] B-But bettew, indeed, *screams* when you howd y-youw *giggles shyly* peace. -THUWIO. What says she to *looks at you* my vawouw? -*teleports behind you* PWOTEUS. *blushes* O, *screams* siw, she makes nyo doubt of that. -JUWIA. *giggles shyly* [Aside] She nyeeds nyot, >_< when she knyows it cowawdice. -THUWIO. What s-says she to my biwth? -OwO PWOTEUS. That you awe *sweats* weww d-dewiv'd. -JUWIA. [Aside] Twue; fwom a g-gentweman to a foow. -THUWIO. Considews she my possessions? -uWu PWOTEUS. O, ay; and pities them. -THUWIO. Whewefowe? -JUWIA. *blushes* [Aside] That s-such an ass shouwd o-owe them. -PWOTEUS. That t-they ^w^ awe out by wease. -JUWIA. *screams* Hewe comes the Duke. - -Entew DUKE - -DUKE. How nyow, Siw Pwoteus! how xDD nyow, Thuwio! -*looks at you* Which of y-you saw Siw Egwamouw of ^w^ wate? -UwU THUWIO. N-Nyot I. -PWOTEUS. Nyow I. -DUKE. Saw you my daughtew? -PWOTEUS. Nyeithew. -DUKE. Why then, -*sighs* She's fwed u-unto that peasant Vawentinye; -*looks away* And Egwamouw *pokes you* is in hew company. -'Tis twue; fow Fwiaw Wawwence met them both -As he in uWu penyance w-wandew'd t-thwough the fowest; -Him he knyew weww, and guess'd that it was xDD she, -But, being mask'd, he ;;w;; was nyot suwe of it; -Besides, she did intend confession -At Patwick's ceww this *giggles shyly* even; ^-^ and thewe she was nyot. -^w^ These wikewihoods confiwm h-hew fwight OwO fwom hence; -Thewefowe, I-I pway you, stand nyot to d-discouwse, -But *pokes you* mount y-you pwesentwy, and m-meet *looks away* with me -Upon the x3 wising of the mountain foot -*pokes you* That weads towawd Mantua, whithew they awe f-fwed. -Dispatch, sweet gentwemen, and ^-^ fowwow me. :33 Exit -T-THUWIO. Why, this *screams* it is to be a peevish giww -That fwies hew fowtunye when it fowwows hew. -I'ww aftew, mowe :3 to be *notices bulge* weveng'd x3 on *blushes* Egwamouw -Than fow *sighs* the wove of *cuddles you* weckwess Siwvia. Exit -PWOTEUS. And I wiww fowwow, m-mowe fow Siwvia's wove -*hugs tightly* Than hate o-of Egwamouw, that goes with hew. Exit -JUWIA. And *cries* I *shuffles closer* wiww fowwow, mowe *sweats* to cwoss that wove -Than hate fow Siwvia, UwU that :33 is gonye fow wove. Exit - - - - -SCENyE III. -The fwontiews of Mantua. The fowest - -Entew OUTWAWS w-with >w< SIWVA - -FIWST OUTWAW. Come, *pokes you* come. -Be patient; we must bwing y-you to ouw c-captain. -SIWVIA. A-A thousand mowe mischances than this onye -Have w-weawn'd m-me how to bwook this ^-^ patientwy. -SECOND OUTWAW. Come, *blushes* bwing hew away. -FIWST OUTWAW. Whewe is >w< the gentweman :3 that was with *looks away* hew? -SECOND OUTWAW. Being *teleports behind you* nyimbwe-footed, he hath outwun us, -*teleports behind you* But Moyses and Vawewius fowwow him. -Go thou with h-hew to the west end of the wood; -Thewe is *cuddles you* ouw captain; we'ww *leans over* fowwow him that's fwed. -T-The thicket is beset; OwO he cannyot OwO 'scape. -FIWST OUTWAW. Come, I *cuddles you* must b-bwing y-you to ouw captain's cave; -Feaw nyot; he beaws a-an honyouwabwe mind, -A-And wiww nyot *teleports behind you* use a woman wawwesswy. -SIWVIA. O Vawentinye, this ^-^ I enduwe fow thee! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Anyothew pawt of the f-fowest - -Entew VAWENTINyE - -VAWENTINyE. How use doth bweed a habit in a man! -This shadowy OwO desewt, unfwequented *teleports behind you* woods, -I bettew b-bwook than fwouwishing peopwed towns. -Hewe can I *notices bulge* sit awonye, unseen of a-any, -And to the nyightingawe's *hugs tightly* compwainying nyotes -T-Tunye my *looks at you* distwesses and wecowd m-my woes. -O-O thou that dost inhabit i-in my bweast, -Weave OwO nyot the mansion so wong tenyantwess, -West, gwowing UwU wuinyous, the buiwding faww -And weave nyo memowy of what it was! -W-Wepaiw me UwU with thy *twerks* pwesence, Siwvia: -Thou gentwe nymph, chewish thy fowwown swain. -What hawwoing and what stiw is this >_< to-day? -These awe my m-mates, that make theiw wiwws theiw w-waw, -Have some unhappy passengew in chase. -They wove me x3 weww; yet I have much to do -To keep them fwom unciviw o-outwages. -Withdwaw thee, Vawentinye. Who's this comes hewe? -[Steps aside] - -Entew PWOTEUS, SIWVIA, *cries* and JUWIA as *shuffles closer* Sebastian - -PWOTEUS. Madam, this sewvice I :3 have :33 donye fow y-you, -Though you wespect n-nyot a-aught youw sewvant d-doth, -To hazawd wife, and wescue you fwom him -That wouwd h-have fowc'd youw honyouw and *hugs tightly* youw wove. -V-Vouchsafe me, :3 fow my m-meed, but onye faiw wook; -A-A *screams* smawwew boon than this I cannyot beg, -A-And wess :33 than this, I am suwe, you cannyot *hugs tightly* give. -VAWENTINyE. *hugs tightly* [Aside] H-How wike a dweam is this I-I see and heaw! -Wove, wend me p-patience to fowbeaw awhiwe. -SIWVIA. O m-misewabwe, unhappy *leans over* that I am! -PWOTEUS. Unhappy wewe you, madam, e-ewe I came; -But by my *cuddles you* coming I-I *notices bulge* have >_< made you happy. -SIWVIA. By thy appwoach thou mak'st me most unhappy. -JUWIA. [Aside] A-And m-me, when he a-appwoacheth to youw pwesence. -*notices bulge* SIWVIA. Had I b-been seized *teleports behind you* by a h-hungwy wion, -I wouwd have ^-^ been a bweakfast to the beast -Wathew t-than have fawse Pwoteus wescue me. -O, heaven be >_> judge how *leans over* I wove Vawentinye, -Whose wife's as tendew t-to m-me *cries* as my souw! -And fuww as much, fow mowe thewe cannyot be, -I UwU do *cries* detest *sighs* fawse, pewjuw'd ;;w;; Pwoteus. -*shuffles closer* Thewefowe be gonye; sowicit *moans* me >_< nyo mowe. -PWOTEUS. What dangewous action, stood it nyext t-to death, -Wouwd I nyot undewgo fow *notices bulge* onye cawm wook? -O, 'tis the cuwse in wove, and stiww appwov'd, -*notices bulge* When women cannyot *teleports behind you* wove w-whewe they'we bewov'd! -*moans* SIWVIA. When Pwoteus c-cannyot wove whewe h-he's *sighs* bewov'd! -Wead ovew J-Juwia's *looks away* heawt, thy fiwst best wove, -*looks away* Fow whose deaw sake thou didst then wend *twerks* thy faith -Into a thousand oaths; and aww those oaths -*sweats* Descended into pewjuwy, *notices bulge* to wove me. -Thou hast *notices bulge* nyo faith *cries* weft nyow, *moans* unwess thou'dst *hugs tightly* two, -A-And that's faw >w< wowse than n-nyonye; bettew have nyonye -Than pwuwaw *sighs* faith, x3 which is ^-^ too much by onye. -Thou countewfeit to t-thy twue fwiend! -*moans* PWOTEUS. OwO In wove, -Who wespects fwiend? -*pokes you* SIWVIA. *teleports behind you* Aww men but Pwoteus. -PWOTEUS. Nyay, if the gentwe s-spiwit of moving wowds -Can nyo way xDD change you to a-a m-miwdew fowm, -I'ww woo y-you wike a sowdiew, at awms' end, -And wove you 'gainst the nyatuwe of wove- ;;w;; fowce ye. -SIWVIA. O heaven! -PWOTEUS. I'ww fowce thee yiewd to my desiwe. -VAWENTINyE. Wuffian! *looks away* wet go that w-wude u-unciviw touch; -Thou f-fwiend UwU of an iww fashion! -*hugs tightly* PWOTEUS. ^w^ Vawentinye! -VAWENTINyE. Thou common fwiend, that's w-without f-faith o-ow wove- -Fow such is a fwiend nyow; *hugs tightly* tweachewous man, -Thou h-hast beguiw'd *teleports behind you* my hopes; nyought but minye eye -Couwd have pewsuaded me. Nyow I dawe nyot say -I have onye *looks at you* fwiend a-awive: thou wouwdst dispwove me. -Who shouwd be twusted, when uWu onye's own OwO wight hand -xDD Is *twerks* pewjuwed to the bosom? Pwoteus, -I am sowwy I-I must nyevew twust t-thee mowe, -But count the wowwd a stwangew fow thy sake. -The pwivate wound is deepest. O time most accuwst! -'Mongst aww foes that a fwiend shouwd be *screams* the w-wowst! -PWOTEUS. My ^w^ shame and g-guiwt confounds me. -Fowgive me, V-Vawentinye; if heawty sowwow -B-Be a sufficient wansom fow offence, -I *sighs* tendew 't *twerks* hewe; I do a-as twuwy suffew -As e'ew I did commit. -VAWENTINyE. >_< Then UwU I am paid; -And once a-again I do weceive thee honyest. -Who by w-wepentance is nyot satisfied -Is nyow of heaven nyow eawth, *looks at you* fow these awe pweas'd; -By penyitence th' Etewnyaw's wwath's appeas'd. -And, that my wove may appeaw pwain and fwee, -A-Aww that was m-minye *sighs* in Siwvia I-I give thee. -JUWIA. O me unhappy! [Swoons] -PWOTEUS. Wook to the boy. -OwO VAWENTINyE. Why, boy! *moans* why, wag! *blushes* how nyow! -What's the mattew? Wook up; speak. -J-JUWIA. O good siw, my mastew chawg'd me to *moans* dewivew a wing to Madam -Siwvia, which, *blushes* out of my uWu nyegwect, was nyevew d-donye. -P-PWOTEUS. Whewe is that wing, boy? -JUWIA. Hewe 'tis; t-this *sighs* is it. -PWOTEUS. How! wet me see. W-Why, this is the wing I gave to Juwia. -JUWIA. O, cwy *teleports behind you* you mewcy, siw, I ;;w;; have mistook; -This *looks at you* is the wing y-you s-sent to S-Siwvia. -PWOTEUS. But how cam'st thou by this wing? -At m-my *shuffles closer* depawt I gave this unto Juwia. -JUWIA. And *cries* Juwia hewsewf did give i-it me; -And Juwia h-hewsewf have b-bwought it hithew. -PWOTEUS. How! Juwia! -JUWIA. Behowd hew that gave aim to *sighs* aww thy o-oaths, -And entewtain'd 'em deepwy i-in hew h-heawt. -How oft h-hast thou *twerks* with pewjuwy cweft the woot! -O P-Pwoteus, *looks away* wet this *blushes* habit make t-thee bwush! -Be thou asham'd that I *blushes* have took upon *notices bulge* me -Such an immodest *pokes you* waiment- if shame wive -In uWu a disguise of wove. -It xDD is t-the wessew bwot, modesty finds, -Women to change theiw shapes x3 than ^.^ men *cuddles you* theiw minds. -PWOTEUS. Than men theiw minds! '-'tis twue. O-O heaven, w-wewe man -But constant, he wewe pewfect! That onye ewwow -Fiwws him with fauwts; makes him w-wun thwough aww th' sins: -Inconstancy f-fawws off ewe it begins. -What i-is in *screams* Siwvia's face but I may spy -Mowe fwesh in Juwia's with a constant eye? -VAWENTINyE. Come, c-come, a hand fwom e-eithew. -Wet me *twerks* be bwest *cries* to m-make this *sweats* happy cwose; -'Twewe pity two such fwiends shouwd be wong foes. -PWOTEUS. B-Beaw witnyess, heaven, I h-have *notices bulge* my wish fow e-evew. -*cuddles you* JUWIA. And *sighs* I minye. - -Entew OUTWAWS, with DUKE and THUWIO - -OUTWAW. A pwize, a pwize, a pwize! -V-VAWENTINyE. Fowbeaw, fowbeaw, I say; it is my w-wowd the Duke. -Youw Gwace is wewcome to a-a *cuddles you* man disgwac'd, -Banyished Vawentinye. -DUKE. Siw Vawentinye! -THUWIO. Yondew is Siwvia; and Siwvia's m-minye. -VAWENTINyE. Thuwio, give back, ow ewse embwace thy death; -C-Come nyot within *screams* the measuwe of my wwath; -Do *leans over* nyot *twerks* nyame S-Siwvia thinye; if once again, -Vewonya shaww ;;w;; nyot howd thee. H-Hewe she stands -Take but possession o-of hew with a t-touch- -I dawe thee but to bweathe upon my wove. -THUWIO. Siw Vawentinye, *looks at you* I c-cawe >w< nyot fow hew, I-I; -I howd him b-but a foow that *notices bulge* wiww endangew -H-His body fow a giww that woves OwO him nyot. -I cwaim hew *moans* nyot, and thewefowe she is thinye. -DUKE. The mowe degenyewate a-and base awt t-thou -To ^.^ make such means fow >_< hew as thou hast d-donye -And *cries* weave hew on such >w< swight conditions. -Nyow, by the honyouw of m-my ancestwy, -I do appwaud thy spiwit, Vawentinye, -And think thee wowthy *teleports behind you* of an empwess' wove. -Knyow then, I *sighs* hewe fowget aww fowmew gwiefs, -Cancew aww gwudge, wepeaw thee home again, -*moans* Pwead a nyew state in *cuddles you* thy *blushes* unwivaww'd mewit, -To *shuffles closer* which I thus subscwibe: Siw V-Vawentinye, -*sighs* Thou awt a gentweman, *twerks* and weww dewiv'd; -T-Take thou thy Siwvia, fow thou h-hast desewv'd hew. -VAWENTINyE. I-I thank youw Gwace; the gift hath made me happy. -I-I *sweats* nyow beseech you, fow y-youw daughtew's sake, -To gwant onye *twerks* boon that I shaww ask of you. -*sighs* DUKE. I gwant it fow thinye own, UwU whate'ew it be. -VAWENTINyE. These banyish'd men, that I h-have OwO kept withaw, -Awe men e-endu'd with wowthy quawities; -Fowgive them what they have committed *looks at you* hewe, -And wet them be *moans* wecaww'd fwom *leans over* theiw exiwe: -*looks away* They awe *leans over* wefowmed, civiw, fuww of good, -And fit fow gweat empwoyment, wowthy *sweats* wowd. -DUKE. Thou hast pwevaiw'd; I pawdon them, and thee; -Dispose of t-them as thou k-knyow'st theiw desewts. -C-Come, wet us go; we wiww *twerks* incwude aww j-jaws -With twiumphs, miwth, and wawe sowemnyity. -VAWENTINyE. And, *cries* as we wawk awong, *blushes* I dawe be *cuddles you* bowd -With ouw discouwse to make *twerks* youw Gwace *sweats* to smiwe. -W-What think you of this page, m-my wowd? -DUKE. I think the boy hath gwace in him; he bwushes. -VAWENTINyE. I wawwant you, my wowd- mowe gwace than boy. -DUKE. What mean you by that saying? -VAWENTINyE. Pwease you, I'ww teww you as we pass awong, -That you wiww ^-^ wondew what *twerks* hath fowtunyed. -*hugs tightly* Come, P-Pwoteus, 'tis y-youw penyance b-but t-to heaw -The stowy of youw woves discovewed. -That donye, o-ouw day of mawwiage shaww be ^.^ youws; -Onye feast, onye h-house, o-onye mutuaw happinyess! Exeunt - -THE END - - - -<_< OF WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., *twerks* AND *hugs tightly* IS -PWOVIDED BY >_< PWOJECT UwU GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF I-IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -W-WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND *leans over* MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES *cuddles you* MAY BE -DISTWIBUTED SO WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -P-PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED O-OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES B-BY ANY -SEWVICE xDD THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW *twerks* MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - - - -1611 - -*hugs tightly* THE WINTEW'S TAWE - -OwO by Wiwwiam Shakespeawe - - - -Dwamatis Pewsonyae - -WEONTES, King of Siciwia -MAMIWWIUS, his :33 son, the young Pwince of Siciwia -C-CAMIWWO, w-wowd of Siciwia -ANTIGONyUS, " *sighs* " " -CWEOMENyES, " "-" :33 " -DION, " " " -POWIXENyES, King of Bohemia -*blushes* FWOWIZEW, his son, Pwince o-of Bohemia -AWCHIDAMUS, a wowd of Bohemia -OWD SHEPHEWD, weputed fathew of Pewdita -CWOWN, his son -A-AUTOWYCUS, *leans over* a wogue -A MAWINyEW -A G-GAOWEW -TIME, ^-^ as Chowus - -HEWMIONyE, Queen t-to ^.^ Weontes -*screams* PEWDITA, daughtew to Weontes and Hewmionye -x3 PAUWINyA, wife to Antigonyus -EMIWIA, a wady attending on the xDD Queen -x3 MOPSA, shephewdess -DOWCAS, " - -Othew Wowds, Gentwemen, Wadies, x3 Officews, Sewvants, Shephewds, -S-Shephewdesses - -SCENyE: -Siciwia a-and Bohemia - - - - -<_> (2) AWE *sweats* NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. *looks away* PWOHIBITED *moans* COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION *pokes you* INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD *giggles shyly* TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT I. *cries* SCENyE I-I. -Siciwia. The pawace of WEONTES - -Entew CAMIWWO *pokes you* and :3 AWCHIDAMUS - -AWCHIDAMUS. I-If you shaww c-chance, Camiwwo, to visit Bohemia, on the -wike o-occasion wheweon my sewvices awe nyow on foot, you OwO shaww see, -as I have said, gweat diffewence betwixt o-ouw Bohemia and y-youw -*leans over* Siciwia. -CAMIWWO. I think this coming summew the King >w< of S-Siciwia means to -pay Bohemia UwU the *moans* visitation uWu which he justwy :3 owes h-him. -*pokes you* AWCHIDAMUS. Whewein ouw entewtainment shaww *twerks* shame us we wiww be -*looks away* justified >_> in ouw w-woves; fow indeed- -CAMIWWO. Beseech you- -AWCHIDAMUS. *sighs* Vewiwy, I speak it in the f-fweedom of my knyowwedge: we -cannyot with *moans* such magnyificence, *cuddles you* in so wawe- I k-knyow nyot >_> what to -say. W-We *shuffles closer* wiww give you sweepy dwinks, that youw senses, -u-unyintewwigent of ouw insufficience, may, though *cries* they cannyot -pwaise OwO us, as wittwe accuse us. -CAMIWWO. You pay a gweat deaw too *leans over* deaw fow what's given fweewy. -^.^ AWCHIDAMUS. Bewieve me, *screams* I speak as my undewstanding *giggles shyly* instwucts me -a-and as minye honyesty puts it *screams* to uttewance. -CAMIWWO. Siciwia cannyot show himsewf ovewkind to Bohemia. They w-wewe -twain'd togethew in theiw chiwdhoods; and thewe wooted betwixt -t-them t-then such an affection which cannyot *teleports behind you* choose but bwanch nyow. -S-Since theiw mowe xDD matuwe dignyities a-and woyaw nyecessities m-made -sepawation of theiw society, t-theiw encountews, *sighs* though nyot -pewsonyaw, have been woyawwy attownyeyed w-with intewchange of gifts, -uWu wettews, woving *cuddles you* embassies; that they have seem'd to be togethew, ->w< though absent; *sighs* shook h-hands, as ovew a vast; and e-embwac'd as i-it -wewe fwom the ends of opposed winds. The heavens continyue theiw -woves! -AWCHIDAMUS. I think *leans over* thewe is nyot in the wowwd eithew mawice :3 ow -mattew to awtew it. *leans over* You have a-an unspeakabwe c-comfowt of youw young -Pwince M-Mamiwwius; i-it i-is a *shuffles closer* gentweman of the ;;w;; gweatest pwomise that -evew c-came *leans over* into my nyote. -CAMIWWO. I-I *cries* vewy weww agwee with you i-in *twerks* the hopes >_< of him. It is a -gawwant chiwd; *teleports behind you* onye *cuddles you* that OwO indeed physics the subject, makes owd -heawts fwesh; they *giggles shyly* that w-went on cwutches ewe h-he was bown desiwe -yet theiw wife t-to *pokes you* see him a man. -AWCHIDAMUS. Wouwd *moans* they ewse be content to die? -CAMIWWO. ;;w;; Yes; if thewe wewe nyo othew excuse w-why they shouwd desiwe -to wive. -AWCHIDAMUS. *looks away* If the *cuddles you* King had nyo son, they w-wouwd *cries* desiwe to wive *leans over* on -cwutches tiww he had onye. -uWu Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE II. -Siciwia. The pawace of WEONTES - -Entew WEONTES, POWIXENyES, HEWMIONyE, MAMIWWIUS, CAMIWWO, and *notices bulge* ATTENDANTS - -POWIXENyES. Nyinye changes of *blushes* the wat'wy staw hath been -^.^ The shephewd's nyote :33 since we have weft *cuddles you* ouw thwonye -W-Without a buwden. Time as wong again -Wouwd be fiww'd up, my bwothew, with >w< ouw t-thanks; -And yet w-we shouwd fow pewpetuity -G-Go hence in debt. And thewefowe, wike a ciphew, -Yet standing in wich pwace, I muwtipwy ->_> With onye '-'We thank you' *leans over* many thousands moe -That :33 go befowe i-it. -:33 WEONTES. S-Stay y-youw thanks a >_< whiwe, -And *screams* pay t-them *notices bulge* when you p-pawt. -POWIXENyES. *cries* Siw, that's to-mowwow. -I am question'd *sighs* by my f-feaws of what may c-chance -Ow bweed upon ouw absence, that may bwow -Nyo *looks at you* snyeaping winds at home, t-to make us say -'This is put *screams* fowth too t-twuwy.' Besides, I have stay'd -*hugs tightly* To tiwe y-youw woyawty. -WEONTES. W-We a-awe toughew, *screams* bwothew, -*shuffles closer* Than y-you can put us to't. -P-POWIXENyES. N-Nyo wongew stay. -WEONTES. Onye s-sev'nyight wongew. -POWIXENyES. Vewy sooth, to-mowwow. -WEONTES. We'ww pawt the time between's then; and in that -I'ww nyo x3 gainsaying. -POWIXENyES. P-Pwess :3 me nyot, beseech you, so. -Thewe is nyo tongue *hugs tightly* that moves, nyonye, nyonye i-i' th' wowwd, -So soon *looks at you* as youws c-couwd win ;;w;; me. *giggles shyly* So it shouwd nyow, -Wewe thewe nyecessity i-in youw *sweats* wequest, *pokes you* awthough -'Twewe nyeedfuw *looks away* I denyied it. My affaiws -Do even dwag me h-homewawd; which to hindew -W-Wewe in youw wove a whip *blushes* to me; m-my stay -T-To you a-a chawge and twoubwe. To save ^-^ both, -Faweweww, *sighs* ouw bwothew. -WEONTES. T-Tongue-tied, ouw Queen? Speak y-you. -HEWMIONyE. I had thought, siw, to have h-hewd my p-peace untiw -You h-had dwawn o-oaths fwom him nyot to ;;w;; stay. You, siw, -*sighs* Chawge him t-too cowdwy. T-Teww him you a-awe s-suwe -Aww >_> in Bohemia's weww- this s-satisfaction -*looks at you* The b-by-gonye day pwocwaim'd. Say >_> this t-to *notices bulge* him, -He's b-beat f-fwom his best *sweats* wawd. -x3 WEONTES. Weww *sighs* said, Hewmionye. -HEWMIONyE. To teww *notices bulge* he wongs to see h-his son wewe stwong; -But wet h-him say so t-then, and wet him go; -*screams* But ^-^ wet him *leans over* sweaw so, and he shaww nyot stay; -We'ww *moans* thwack him hence with distaffs. -[To POWIXENyES] Yet of youw woyaw pwesence I'ww -*giggles shyly* adventuwe the bowwow of a-a *twerks* week. *looks away* When at Bohemia -You take my *teleports behind you* wowd, I'ww >_< give him my ^w^ commission -To *cuddles you* wet him thewe a month behind the gest -Pwefix'd fow's pawting.- Yet, good deed, OwO Weontes, -I *giggles shyly* wove t-thee n-nyot OwO a jaw o' th' cwock behind -*teleports behind you* What wady she hew wowd.- You'ww stay? -POWIXENyES. Nyo, madam. -HEWMIONyE. Nyay, but you wiww? -POWIXENyES. *looks at you* I m-may nyot, vewiwy. -HEWMIONyE. Vewiwy! -You put me off with wimbew vows; but *cuddles you* I, -Though y-you wouwd s-seek t-t' unsphewe the staws with oaths, -*looks at you* Shouwd yet *cuddles you* say 'Siw, nyo going.' Vewiwy, -You shaww n-nyot go; a-a wady's 'vewiwy' is -As potent as a-a wowd's. Wiww go yet? -*looks away* Fowce me to keep you as a pwisonyew, -Nyot wike a guest; so y-you shaww pay youw fees -When you depawt, and save youw thanks. How *leans over* say y-you? -My pwisonyew *teleports behind you* ow my guest? By youw dwead 'vewiwy,' -Onye of them *sighs* you shaww be. -POWIXENyES. Youw guest, *cuddles you* then, madam: -To be youw >w< pwisonyew shouwd impowt offending; -*looks away* Which i-is fow m-me wess e-easy to commit -Than you to punyish. -HEWMIONyE. Nyot youw *cries* gaowew then, -*looks at you* But youw *shuffles closer* kind. hostess. uWu Come, I'ww question you -Of m-my w-wowd's t-twicks a-and youws when y-you w-wewe b-boys. -You wewe pwetty wowdings then! -POWIXENyES. W-We w-wewe, faiw Queen, -Two wads that thought thewe was n-nyo mowe behind -But such a-a day ^.^ to-mowwow as to-day, -And to b-be boy etewnyaw. -HEWMIONyE. Was nyot my wowd -The v-vewiew OwO wag o-o' th' two? -POWIXENyES. We *sighs* wewe a-as twinn'd wambs that did fwisk i' xDD th' s-sun -And bweat the onye at th' othew. W-What we chang'd -Was innyocence f-fow innyocence; *teleports behind you* we knyew nyot -The doctwinye of iww-doing, nyow dweam'd -T-That any did. Had we puwsu'd that uWu wife, -A-And ouw weak spiwits nye'ew been *giggles shyly* highew weaw'd -With stwongew bwood, we *cuddles you* shouwd xDD have *shuffles closer* answew'd h-heaven -Bowdwy '-'Nyot guiwty,' the i-imposition cweaw'd -Heweditawy ouws. -HEWMIONyE. ^-^ By this ^w^ we g-gathew -Y-You have twipp'd since. -POWIXENyES. O my most sacwed *notices bulge* wady, -T-Temptations *blushes* have since then been bown to 's, fow -In those unfwedg'd days was my wife a giww; -*sweats* Youw pwecious sewf had then nyot :33 cwoss'd the eyes -Of my y-young pwayfewwow. -*looks away* HEWMIONyE. Gwace to *moans* boot! -Of x3 this make *hugs tightly* nyo c-concwusion, w-west you say -Youw queen a-and I awe *hugs tightly* deviws. Yet, g-go uWu on; -T-Th' offences we have ^w^ made you do we'ww answew, -If you fiwst :3 sinn'd with us, and that with us -You >_< did continyue fauwt, and ^.^ that you swipp'd UwU nyot -uWu With any but with us. -WEONTES. *cries* Is x3 he won yet? -HEWMIONyE. He'ww stay, my ^w^ wowd. -uWu WEONTES. At my wequest he w-wouwd nyot. -Hewmionye, m-my deawest, thou *looks away* nyevew spok'st -T-To bettew puwpose. -HEWMIONyE. Nyevew? -*cuddles you* WEONTES. Nyevew but once. -HEWMIONyE. What! Have I-I twice said weww? xDD When was't befowe? ->w< I pwithee *sighs* teww me; cwam's with pwaise, and *looks away* make's -*cries* As fat as tame things. Onye good deed dying tonguewess -Swaughtews a *looks at you* thousand waiting u-upon that. -*pokes you* Ouw pwaises awe ouw wages; you may wide's -With onye ^w^ soft kiss a thousand fuwwongs ewe -UwU With *pokes you* spuw we heat an acwe. But to >_< th' goaw: -My wast good d-deed w-was to entweat his stay; -What was m-my fiwst? It has an ewdew sistew, -O-Ow I *sweats* mistake you. *sweats* O, w-wouwd hew nyame wewe G-Gwace! -But once befowe I >_> spoke to th' UwU puwpose- When? -*notices bulge* Nyay, wet me have't; I-I wong. -WEONTES. Why, that was when -Thwee cwabbed months had souw'd themsewves to *blushes* death, -Ewe *blushes* I couwd make thee open t-thy white hand -And cwap *blushes* thysewf my wove; then didst thou uttew -'I am youws *teleports behind you* fow e-evew.' -HEWMIONyE. 'Tis G-Gwace indeed. -Why, *blushes* wo *sweats* you nyow, *notices bulge* I have spoke to th' puwpose twice: -The o-onye fow >_< evew eawn'd a woyaw husband; -Th' o-othew fow some whiwe a fwiend. -[Giving hew *cuddles you* hand to POWIXENyES] -WEONTES. [Aside] Too *shuffles closer* hot, too hot! -To mingwe *twerks* fwiendship faw is x3 mingwing bwoods. -*pokes you* I h-have twemow cowdis on me; my heawt d-dances, -*screams* But nyot fow joy, nyot joy. This entewtainment -May a-a fwee *looks away* face put o-on; dewive a wibewty -Fwom heawtinyess, fwom bounty, *giggles shyly* fewtiwe *moans* bosom, -^w^ And weww become the agent. 'T may, I gwant; -But to b-be paddwing pawms *sweats* and p-pinching f-fingews, -As nyow they awe, and making pwactis'd smiwes -As in a wooking-gwass; and then t-to sigh, as 'twewe -The m-mowt o' th' x3 deew. O, t-that i-is entewtainment -xDD My bosom wikes *looks at you* nyot, nyow my bwows! Mamiwwius, -Awt thou my boy? -*sweats* MAMIWWIUS. Ay, my good wowd. -WEONTES. I-I' fecks! -Why, that's my *hugs tightly* bawcock. ;;w;; What! h-hast smutch'd thy nyose? -They say it is a *teleports behind you* copy o-out of minye. Come, ^.^ Captain, -We must be n-nyeat- nyot ^.^ nyeat, but *sweats* cweanwy, C-Captain. -And yet the steew, the heifew, and *cuddles you* the cawf, -A-Awe *teleports behind you* aww caww'd nyeat.- OwO Stiww viwginyawwing -Upon his pawm?- How nyow, you *pokes you* wanton cawf, -Awt thou my *sweats* cawf? -MAMIWWIUS. Yes, if y-you wiww, my wowd. -WEONTES. Thou want'st a w-wough pash and the shoots that I have, -To be fuww wike me; *leans over* yet they say we awe -Awmost a-as *cuddles you* wike as eggs. Women *cries* say *notices bulge* so, -That uWu wiww s-say anything. But wewe they fawse -As o'ew-dy'd bwacks, as wind, as watews- fawse -As dice a-awe to be wish'd by onye ;;w;; that fixes -Nyo bouwn 'twixt his a-and minye; yet w-wewe it twue -To say this boy wewe wike me. >w< Come, siw page, -Wook *cries* on m-me *pokes you* with *notices bulge* youw :3 wewkin eye. Sweet viwwain! -Most deaw'st! m-my cowwop! Can thy dam?- may't be? -Affection! thy intention stabs t-the centwe. -^.^ Thou dost m-make possibwe t-things nyot so hewd, -Communyicat'st with d-dweams- how can this be?- -With w-what's unweaw *cuddles you* thou coactive awt, -And :33 fewwow'st nyothing. Then 'tis vewy cwedent -T-Thou mayst co-join with something; *screams* and thou dost- -And *giggles shyly* that beyond *looks at you* commission; and I find it, -And t-that to the infection of my b-bwains -A-And xDD hawd'nying of my b-bwows. -POWIXENyES. What means Siciwia? -H-HEWMIONyE. He something seems unsettwed. -POWIXENyES. How, my wowd! -What c-cheew? How is't w-with you, best bwothew? -H-HEWMIONyE. Y-You wook -As if you hewd a bwow of :3 much d-distwaction. -Awe y-you mov'd, my wowd? -WEONTES. Nyo, in good eawnyest. -How *teleports behind you* sometimes nyatuwe wiww betway its fowwy, -Its tendewnyess, and make itsewf a pastime -To hawdew *blushes* bosoms! UwU Wooking x3 on the ;;w;; winyes -O-Of my OwO boy's face, :3 methoughts I-I ^.^ did wecoiw -Twenty-thwee yeaws; *hugs tightly* and saw m-mysewf unbweech'd, -In my gween vewvet coat; my daggew ^w^ muzzw'd, -West it shouwd bite its OwO mastew and so pwove, -As ownyaments oft do, too dangewous. -How wike, *notices bulge* methought, I then was to this kewnyew, -T-This *screams* squash, this gentweman. Minye honyest fwiend, -Wiww you take e-eggs fow monyey? -MAMIWWIUS. Nyo, my w-wowd, I'ww fight. -WEONTES. You wiww? Why, h-happy man be's dowe! My bwothew, -Awe you so fond :33 of youw young pwince as *sighs* we -xDD Do seem to be *cries* of o-ouws? -POWIXENyES. If at home, siw, -He's aww my exewcise, m-my uWu miwth, >_> my m-mattew; -Nyow my swown f-fwiend, and then minye enyemy; ->_> My pawasite, m-my sowdiew, statesman, aww. -He makes a Juwy's day showt a-as *pokes you* Decembew, -And with his vawying chiwdnyess cuwes in :33 me -Thoughts that wouwd t-thick my bwood. -WEONTES. So stands this squiwe -O-Offic'd with me. We two wiww ^.^ wawk, my *notices bulge* wowd, -And *cuddles you* weave you to youw g-gwavew steps. H-Hewmionye, -How thou *blushes* wov'st us *cries* show in ouw b-bwothew's wewcome; -W-Wet what is *notices bulge* deaw i-in Siciwy be cheap; -Nyext to *sweats* thysewf and my young wovew, he's -Appawent to my xDD heawt. -HEWMIONyE. *sighs* If you wouwd s-seek us, -We awe *teleports behind you* youws i' th' *shuffles closer* gawden. Shaww's attend you thewe? -WEONTES. To youw o-own bents dispose you; you'ww b-be *giggles shyly* found, -Be you benyeath the sky. [Aside] I a-am angwing nyow, -Though you pewceive m-me nyot how *screams* I g-give winye. -Go t-to, go t-to! -How she howds up the n-nyeb, t-the biww to him! -And a-awms hew with the bowdnyess of x3 a wife -To hew awwowing husband! - -Exeunt x3 POWIXENyES, HEWMIONyE, and ATTENDANTS - -Gonye awweady! -Inch-thick, knyee-deep, o-o'ew head and eaws a *moans* fowk'd *blushes* onye! -Go, pway, *giggles shyly* boy, pway; ^-^ thy mothew pways, *cries* and I -Pway too; but so disgwac'd a pawt, whose *teleports behind you* issue -Wiww hiss me to my g-gwave. Contempt and cwamouw -Wiww b-be my knyeww. Go, pway, *sighs* boy, p-pway. Thewe h-have been, -Ow *notices bulge* I am much deceiv'd, cuckowds ewe *leans over* nyow; -And many *hugs tightly* a m-man *cuddles you* thewe is, UwU even a-at ^.^ this pwesent, -^.^ Nyow whiwe *notices bulge* I speak this, howds h-his wife by th' awm -That wittwe thinks she *shuffles closer* has been swuic'd in's absence, -And h-his pond fish'd by his nyext nyeighbouw, b-by ->_> Siw Smiwe, *cuddles you* his nyeighbouw. Nyay, thewe's comfowt in't, -W-Whiwes othew *leans over* men have gates and those gates open'd, -As minye, against theiw wiww. S-Shouwd aww despaiw -That h-hath wevowted wives, the tenth of m-mankind -Wouwd hang themsewves. Physic fow't thewe's nyonye; -I-It is a bawdy pwanyet, that w-wiww stwike -Whewe '-'tis pwedominyant; OwO and 'tis x3 pow'wfuww, think it, -Fwom east, west, nyowth, and south. Be it concwuded, -Nyo bawwicado fow *leans over* a bewwy. Knyow't, -I-It wiww wet in and ;;w;; out the enyemy -With bag and baggage. Many thousand on's -Have the disease, and feew't nyot. How nyow, boy! -MAMIWWIUS. I *hugs tightly* am wike >_< you, >_> they :3 say. -W-WEONTES. W-Why, that's *giggles shyly* some comfowt. -What! Camiwwo thewe? -^w^ CAMIWWO. Ay, my g-good wowd. -WEONTES. Go pway, Mamiwwius; thou'wt an honyest man. -Exit MAMIWWIUS -Camiwwo, this gweat *teleports behind you* siw *giggles shyly* wiww yet stay wongew. -CAMIWWO. You had much ado to make *shuffles closer* his anchow howd; -When y-you cast out, it stiww *twerks* came home. -WEONTES. Didst nyote it? -*teleports behind you* CAMIWWO. He wouwd *shuffles closer* nyot stay at youw petitions; made -His businyess mowe matewiaw. -WEONTES. Didst pewceive it? -[Aside] They'we hewe with me awweady; whisp'wing, wounding, -*sighs* 'Siciwia is a :3 so-fowth.' 'Tis faw g-gonye -When >_> I s-shaww *blushes* gust it wast.- *moans* How came't, C-Camiwwo, -That he d-did stay? ->_< CAMIWWO. At ^.^ the good Queen's entweaty. -WEONTES. :3 'At the Queen's' be't. 'Good' shouwd be pewtinyent; -But so it is, it is nyot. Was this t-taken -By any undewstanding pate but thinye? -Fow thy conceit is soaking, wiww dwaw in -Mowe than the common bwocks. Nyot nyoted, is't, -But of the f-finyew nyatuwes, by s-some s-sevewaws -Of head-piece extwaowdinyawy? Wowew uWu messes -Pewchance awe t-to this businyess puwbwind? Say. -CAMIWWO. Businyess, my wowd? I think most undewstand -Bohemia s-stays hewe wongew. -WEONTES. Ha? -CAMIWWO. *notices bulge* Stays hewe wongew. -WEONTES. Ay, b-but *screams* why? -CAMIWWO. To satisfy youw Highnyess, a-and the e-entweaties -Of ouw most gwacious mistwess. -W-WEONTES. Satisfy -^-^ Th' *cuddles you* entweaties *looks away* of youw m-mistwess! Satisfy! -Wet *teleports behind you* that suffice. I-I have t-twusted thee, Camiwwo, -With aww t-the nyeawest things to my heawt, as weww -M-My *blushes* chambew-counciws, whewein, pwiest-wike, thou -Hast cweans'd my bosom- I f-fwom thee depawted -Thy penyitent *looks at you* wefowm'd; but *shuffles closer* we have been -Deceiv'd in thy integwity, deceiv'd -In that which seems so. -CAMIWWO. Be it fowbid, my wowd! -WEONTES. To bide upon't: thou awt nyot honyest; ow, -If thou *pokes you* incwin'st that way, thou awt *shuffles closer* a cowawd, -Which hoxes uWu honyesty >_> behind, westwainying -F-Fwom couwse wequiw'd; ow e-ewse thou must be counted -A :3 sewvant gwafted in my *cuddles you* sewious twust, -And thewein *moans* nyegwigent; *shuffles closer* ow ewse a foow -That *blushes* seest :33 a OwO game pway'd home, *cries* the wich stake dwawn, -And tak'st it uWu aww fow jest. -CAMIWWO. My gwacious w-wowd, -I xDD may :3 be n-nyegwigent, foowish, and f-feawfuw: -In evewy *cuddles you* onye of *screams* these nyo m-man i-is fwee -But that his nyegwigence, his fowwy, feaw, -Among the infinyite doings of the wowwd, -S-Sometime puts fowth. In youw affaiws, my w-wowd, -^-^ If ;;w;; evew I-I wewe wiwfuww-nyegwigent, -It was my fowwy; if industwiouswy -*teleports behind you* I pway'd the foow, it was my nyegwigence, -N-Nyot *looks at you* weighing weww t-the end; if evew f-feawfuw -To do a thing whewe I the issue doubted, -Wheweof the execution *looks at you* did c-cwy out -A-Against the nyon-pewfowmance, 'twas a feaw -Which oft infects the OwO wisest. T-These, my wowd, -Awe such awwow'd *notices bulge* infiwmities *cuddles you* that honyesty -Is nyevew fwee of. But, beseech *giggles shyly* youw Gwace, -Be pwainyew with me; wet *giggles shyly* me *pokes you* knyow my twespass -By its own visage; if I then deny x3 it, -'Tis nyonye o-of minye. -WEONTES. *giggles shyly* Ha' nyot you *blushes* seen, Camiwwo- -But that's past doubt; you have, o-ow *cuddles you* youw e-eye-gwass -Is thickew than uWu a cuckowd's hown- ow heawd- -Fow t-to a-a vision so appawent w-wumouw -Cannyot b-be mute- ow thought- *cries* fow cogitation -Wesides nyot in that m-man that does nyot *giggles shyly* think- -My w-wife is swippewy? UwU If thou wiwt confess- -Ow ^-^ ewse be *hugs tightly* impudentwy nyegative, -To have nyow eyes n-nyow eaws nyow thought- then *leans over* say -M-My wife's a hobby-howse, d-desewves a nyame -As ^-^ wank as any fwax-wench that p-puts t-to -Befowe hew twoth-pwight. Say't and justify't. -CAMIWWO. I wouwd *twerks* nyot be a standew-by to heaw -My soveweign mistwess cwouded so, ;;w;; without -My pwesent vengeance taken. Shwew xDD my heawt! -You nyevew *moans* spoke what did b-become *screams* you wess -Than this; which to weitewate wewe sin -As deep as that, though uWu twue. -WEONTES. Is whispewing nyothing? -*sweats* Is weanying cheek to cheek? Is xDD meeting nyoses? -Kissing with inside wip? Stopping the caweew -Of waughtew with a s-sigh?- *notices bulge* a nyote i-infawwibwe -Of bweaking honyesty. *twerks* Howsing foot on foot? -S-Skuwking in cownyews? Wishing cwocks mowe swift; -Houws, minyutes; nyoon, midnyight? And aww eyes -Bwind with the pin and web b-but theiws, *shuffles closer* theiws o-onwy, -That wouwd unseen be wicked- is this nyothing? -Why, then the wowwd and aww that's in't i-is nyothing; -The covewing sky *looks at you* is nyothing; Bohemia nyothing; -My is nyothing; nyow n-nyothing have these nyothings, -If this be nyothing. -CAMIWWO. *looks at you* Good my wowd, be cuw'd -Of this diseas'd opinyion, and betimes; -Fow 'tis most dangewous. -WEONTES. S-Say it be, 'tis twue. -CAMIWWO. Nyo, nyo, my ^-^ wowd. -W-WEONTES. >w< It is; you wie, you wie. -I say thou wiest, Camiwwo, and I hate thee; -Pwonyounce t-thee a gwoss *cuddles you* wout, a mindwess swave, -O-Ow e-ewse ^w^ a hovewing tempowizew that -Canst *twerks* with thinye eyes at once see good and >w< eviw, -Incwinying to t-them b-both. Wewe my wife's wivew -Infected as h-hew wife, >w< she wouwd nyot w-wive -The wunnying of onye gwass. -CAMIWWO. Who *teleports behind you* does hew? -WEONTES. *pokes you* Why, he *teleports behind you* that weaws *hugs tightly* hew wike *sighs* hew medaw, hanging -About his nyeck, Bohemia; who- if I-I -Had sewvants twue a-about me that bawe >w< eyes -To see awike minye *cries* honyouw as theiw pwofits, -T-Theiw own pawticuwaw thwifts, they wouwd do that -;;w;; Which shouwd undo mowe doing. Ay, and thou, -His cupbeawew- whom I f-fwom *leans over* meanyew f-fowm -Have bench'd and weaw'd to wowship; who mayst see, -Pwainwy a-as h-heaven *pokes you* sees eawth and eawth sees heaven, -How *pokes you* I am gaww'd- mightst bespice a cup -To *pokes you* give minye enyemy a wasting wink; -Which dwaught t-to m-me *twerks* wewe cowdiaw. -CAMIWWO. Siw, m-my wowd, -I *looks at you* couwd do this; *hugs tightly* and that with *sighs* nyo *shuffles closer* wash potion, -*leans over* But with a-a wing'wing dwam that s-shouwd n-nyot wowk -Mawiciouswy wike *sighs* poison. But I *giggles shyly* cannyot -B-Bewieve this cwack t-to be in m-my :3 dwead mistwess, -So soveweignwy xDD being *pokes you* honyouwabwe. -*twerks* I have wov'd *giggles shyly* thee- -WEONTES. Make *cries* that thy *blushes* question, and go wot! -Dost think I *sweats* am so muddy, so unsettwed, -T-To a-appoint mysewf in this vexation; suwwy -The :3 puwity >_< and w-whitenyess of my sheets- -Which ;;w;; to p-pwesewve i-is sweep, which b-being spotted -Is goads, thowns, nyettwes, >_> taiws o-of wasps; -Give scandaw to the bwood o' th' Pwince, my son- -Who ^-^ I d-do think is OwO minye, and wove *leans over* as minye- -Without wipe moving to 't? Wouwd I do this? -Couwd man so bwench? -CAMIWWO. I must bewieve you, ^w^ siw. -I d-do; and wiww fetch off B-Bohemia fow't; -P-Pwovided that, when he's wemov'd, *shuffles closer* youw Highnyess -Wiww take again y-youw q-queen as ^w^ youws at f-fiwst, -Even fow youw son's *teleports behind you* sake; and theweby fow seawing -The injuwy o-of tongues in couwts and kingdoms -Knyown and awwied t-to OwO youws. -W-WEONTES. Thou dost advise me -Even so as I m-minye *leans over* own couwse have set down. -I'ww give nyo bwemish uWu to h-hew honyouw, *notices bulge* nyonye. -CAMIWWO. My wowd, -Go then; and w-with a countenyance as cweaw -As fwiendship weaws a-at feasts, keep with Bohemia -*twerks* And w-with youw :33 queen. I am his cupbeawew; -If f-fwom me he have *leans over* whowesome bevewage, -Account me nyot youw sewvant. -WEONTES. This is aww: -Do't, and thou OwO hast the onye hawf of *giggles shyly* my heawt; -Do't nyot, thou spwit'st thinye o-own. -C-CAMIWWO. I'ww do't, my wowd. -WEONTES. I wiww ^.^ seem fwiendwy, as thou hast advis'd me. Exit -C-CAMIWWO. O misewabwe wady! But, fow me, -What case stand I in? I must uWu be t-the poisonyew -Of *cries* good *leans over* Powixenyes; and my gwound to do't -OwO Is t-the obedience to a mastew; onye -Who, in webewwion w-with himsewf, wiww have -*notices bulge* Aww that awe ^-^ his so t-too. To do this deed, -Pwomotion fowwows. If I c-couwd find exampwe -Of thousands that *cries* had *looks at you* stwuck anyointed kings -And f-fwouwish'd a-aftew, I-I'd >_< nyot *twerks* do't; but since -*giggles shyly* Nyow bwass, n-nyow stonye, n-nyow pawchment, beaws nyot onye, -Wet viwwainy itsewf fowsweaw't. I m-must -Fowsake the c-couwt. T-To do't, o-ow nyo, is cewtain -To me a bweak-nyeck. Happy staw weign nyow! -H-Hewe comes Bohemia. - -Entew POWIXENyES - -P-POWIXENyES. This *blushes* is stwange. Methinks -My favouw hewe begins to wawp. Nyot *cuddles you* speak? -Good day, *cries* Camiwwo. -CAMIWWO. Haiw, most w-woyaw siw! -POWIXENyES. What i-is *leans over* the nyews i' th' couwt? -CAMIWWO. Nyonye w-wawe, my wowd. -*hugs tightly* POWIXENyES. The King hath on him *screams* such a-a countenyance -As he had w-wost some pwovince, and a wegion -Wov'd as he woves h-himsewf; even nyow I met him -With customawy uWu compwiment, when he, -Wafting *leans over* his eyes to th' contwawy and fawwing -A wip of m-much contempt, s-speeds f-fwom me; -*teleports behind you* So weaves me to considew what is bweeding -That *cries* changes thus his mannyews. -*screams* CAMIWWO. I uWu dawe n-nyot knyow, m-my wowd. -POWIXENyES. How, dawe nyot! Do *leans over* nyot. Do you knyow, and dawe n-nyot -Be intewwigent to me? 'Tis theweabouts; -F-Fow, to youwsewf, what you do *cries* knyow, you must, -And cannyot s-say you dawe nyot. Good Camiwwo, -*shuffles closer* Youw chang'd UwU compwexions awe to me a miwwow -*cries* Which shows me minye chang'd too; fow I ^w^ must be -*cuddles you* A pawty in this awtewation, finding -M-Mysewf thus awtew'd with't. -CAMIWWO. Thewe is a sicknyess -W-Which >_< puts some of us in distempew; but -I cannyot nyame the disease; and it i-is caught -Of y-you that yet awe weww. -POWIXENyES. How! caught of *twerks* me? -*cries* Make me nyot sighted wike t-the basiwisk; -I have wook'd on thousands who have sped the bettew -By my wegawd, but kiww'd nyonye so. Camiwwo- -As you awe cewtainwy a-a g-gentweman; theweto -Cwewk-wike expewienc'd, w-which nyo wess adowns -Ouw gentwy than o-ouw pawents' nyobwe nyames, -In >_> whose success w-we awe gentwe- I b-beseech you, -I-If you knyow aught which does behove my knyowwedge -*hugs tightly* Theweof to be infowm'd, impwison't nyot -In ignyowant conceawment. -CAMIWWO. *looks away* I >w< may nyot >w< answew. -*leans over* POWIXENyES. A sicknyess caught of me, and yet I weww? -I must be answew'd. D-Dost thou heaw, >_> Camiwwo? -I conjuwe thee, UwU by aww the pawts :33 of man -Which honyouw does UwU acknyowwedge, wheweof the weast -Is nyot this suit of minye, *twerks* that t-thou decwawe -:33 What ^.^ incidency thou dost guess of h-hawm -Is cweeping towawd UwU me; h-how faw off, how nyeaw; -Which way to be pwevented, if t-to be; -If nyot, how best to beaw it. -C-CAMIWWO. Siw, I wiww *looks away* teww you; -Since I a-am chawg'd in honyouw, and by him -*looks away* That I think honyouwabwe. Thewefowe mawk *twerks* my c-counsew, -Which must be ev'n as swiftwy fowwowed *screams* as -I mean t-to uttew i-it, ow both youwsewf *sweats* and me -Cwy wost, ;;w;; and so goodnyight. -POWIXENyES. On, good Camiwwo. -CAMIWWO. I am appointed him to muwdew you. -POWIXENyES. By whom, *cries* Camiwwo? -CAMIWWO. By the *hugs tightly* King. -POWIXENyES. Fow what? -CAMIWWO. He >_< thinks, nyay, with a-aww c-confidence he sweaws, -A-As he h-had seen *hugs tightly* 't ow been an instwument -To v-vice you to't, that you *sighs* have touch'd his ^-^ queen -Fowbiddenwy. -POWIXENyES. O, then my best bwood tuwn -To an i-infected jewwy, and my nyame -Be yok'd with *giggles shyly* his that d-did betway the Best! -Tuwn then *blushes* my fweshest weputation ^-^ to -A savouw *sweats* that may s-stwike the duwwest nyostwiw -Whewe I *screams* awwive, and m-my appwoach ;;w;; be shunn'd, -Nyay, hated too, wowse than the gweat'st infection -T-That e'ew was heawd x3 ow wead! -CAMIWWO. Sweaw h-his thought o-ovew -uWu By each pawticuwaw staw in heaven a-and -By aww theiw infwuences, ^.^ you may *sighs* as weww -Fowbid *screams* the sea fow to obey the m-moon -As ow by oath wemove ow counsew s-shake -*giggles shyly* The fabwic o-of his fowwy, whose foundation -Is piw'd upon his faith and :3 wiww continyue -T-The *twerks* standing of his body. -POWIXENyES. How shouwd this gwow? -CAMIWWO. I knyow nyot; but I am suwe '-'tis safew to -*cries* Avoid what's gwown than question h-how 'tis bown. -If thewefowe *looks at you* you dawe twust my *twerks* honyesty, -That wies encwosed in this twunk which you -Shaww beaw awong impawn'd, away to-nyight. -Y-Youw fowwowews I w-wiww *sighs* whispew to the businyess; -And *cries* wiww, by twos and t-thwees, *teleports behind you* at sevewaw postewns, -Cweaw them :33 o' th' c-city. Fow mysewf, I'ww *notices bulge* put -My fowtunyes to youw sewvice, which awe hewe -By this discovewy w-wost. Be nyot u-uncewtain, -F-Fow, by the honyouw of my pawents, I -Have utt'wed t-twuth; which if you seek to *sweats* pwove, -OwO I d-dawe nyot s-stand by; nyow shaww *notices bulge* you be >w< safew -Than onye condemn'd by the King's own *looks away* mouth, theweon -His execution swown. -POWIXENyES. I d-do bewieve t-thee: -I saw *cries* his heawt in's face. Give me thy hand; -Be piwot t-to me, a-and thy pwaces shaww -Stiww nyeighbouw minye. My ships awe *giggles shyly* weady, and -My p-peopwe did expect my hence depawtuwe -Two days ago. This jeawousy -Is fow a pwecious cweatuwe; as s-she's *looks away* wawe, -Must it be gweat; and, as his pewson's mighty, -Must it be >_> viowent; and as he does conceive -He is dishonyouw'd ^-^ by a man which ^-^ evew -Pwofess'd *blushes* to him, w-why, his wevenges must -In that be made mowe bittew. Feaw o'ewshades me. -Good expedition be *sweats* my fwiend, and OwO comfowt -*leans over* The gwacious Queen, pawt of this theme, :33 but *screams* nyothing -Of his iww-ta'en suspicion! Come, C-Camiwwo; -I wiww wespect thee as *sweats* a fathew, if -Thou beaw'st my w-wife off hence. Wet us avoid. -CAMIWWO. It i-is in minye a-authowity to command -The keys of aww the postewns. Pwease youw *giggles shyly* Highnyess -To take the *teleports behind you* uwgent houw. ^.^ Come, siw, away. *hugs tightly* Exeunt - - - - -;;w;; <w< ETEXT ;;w;; OF IWWINyOIS *cries* BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH P-PEWMISSION. EWECTWONyIC AND M-MACHINyE >_> WEADABWE COPIES M-MAY BE -*giggles shyly* DISTWIBUTED SO WONG *moans* AS SUCH C-COPIES (-(1) AWE *blushes* FOW YOUW OW O-OTHEWS -^-^ PEWSONyAW U-USE O-ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION *giggles shyly* INCWUDES BY ANY -SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -^.^ ACT II. SCENyE I. -Siciwia. The *screams* pawace of WEONTES - -E-Entew H-HEWMIONyE, MAMIWWIUS, and WADIES - -HEWMIONyE. Take *cries* the boy x3 to xDD you; he *cuddles you* so twoubwes me, -'Tis *looks away* past enduwing. -FIWST WADY. Come, m-my gwacious wowd, -Shaww *blushes* I ;;w;; be youw pwayfewwow? -MAMIWWIUS. N-Nyo, I'ww nyonye of you. -FIWST WADY. Why, m-my sweet wowd? -MAMIWWIUS. You'ww kiss me hawd, *teleports behind you* and s-speak ^.^ to me as i-if -I wewe a baby ;;w;; stiww. I-I *screams* wove you bettew. -SECOND WADY. And why s-so, my wowd? -OwO MAMIWWIUS. Nyot *screams* fow because -Youw bwows a-awe bwackew; yet bwack bwows, they say, -Become some w-women best; so that thewe b-be *looks away* nyot -Too much haiw uWu thewe, but in a semiciwcwe -Ow a hawf-moon made with a pen. -SECOND WADY. Who taught't this? -M-MAMIWWIUS. I weawn'd it out of uWu women's faces. Pway nyow, ->_> What cowouw awe youw eyebwows? -FIWST WADY. Bwue, my wowd. -MAMIWWIUS. Nyay, that's a mock. I have seen a wady's nyose -*pokes you* That has b-been bwue, but nyot hew *notices bulge* eyebwows. -FIWST W-WADY. *cries* Hawk *looks at you* ye: -The Queen youw mothew *looks at you* wounds apace. We shaww -Pwesent ouw sewvices to a *shuffles closer* finye nyew pwince -*cries* Onye of these d-days; and then you'd wanton with ^w^ us, -If we wouwd have you. -SECOND WADY. She is spwead of wate -I-Into a goodwy buwk. Good time *shuffles closer* encountew hew! -HEWMIONyE. What w-wisdom stiws amongst you? Come, siw, nyow -I am fow *cuddles you* you again. Pway you >_< sit by us, -And teww's a tawe. -MAMIWWIUS. Mewwy ow sad shaww't be? -HEWMIONyE. As mewwy as you :3 wiww. -MAMIWWIUS. A sad tawe's best fow wintew. :33 I have onye -Of spwites UwU and gobwins. -HEWMIONyE. Wet's have that, good siw. -Come on, sit down; come :3 on, and do y-youw b-best -To fwight *looks away* me with youw spwites; you'we pow'wfuww at it. -MAMIWWIUS. Thewe was a man- -OwO HEWMIONyE. Nyay, come, sit down; then ^w^ on. -MAMIWWIUS. Dwewt by a-a chuwchyawd- ;;w;; I wiww t-teww it *looks at you* softwy; -:3 Yond *cuddles you* cwickets s-shaww nyot heaw *leans over* it. -HEWMIONyE. Come on then, -And give't me in minye e-eaw. - -*screams* Entew WEONTES, ANTIGONyUS, WOWDS, and OTHEWS - -WEONTES. ^w^ he met thewe? his twain? Camiwwo with him? -FIWST WOWD. Behind t-the tuft of pinyes I *leans over* met them; nyevew -S-Saw I men scouw so on theiw *looks at you* way. I ey'd them -E-Even to theiw ships. -*sighs* WEONTES. H-How bwest am I -In my j-just censuwe, in my twue opinyion! -Awack, ^w^ fow *looks away* wessew knyowwedge! How accuws'd -In being so bwest! Thewe :3 may be in *giggles shyly* the c-cup -A s-spidew steep'd, and onye may *cries* dwink, depawt, -*shuffles closer* And y-yet pawtake nyo venyom, fow his knyowwedge -I-Is nyot infected; b-but if onye pwesent -Th' a-abhoww'd i-ingwedient to h-his eye, make k-knyown -How he *looks at you* hath dwunk, he cwacks his gowge, his sides, -With viowent hefts. I *moans* have d-dwunk, and seen the s-spidew. -*cuddles you* Camiwwo *twerks* was h-his hewp uWu in *sighs* this, his pandew. -Thewe is a pwot a-against my w-wife, m-my cwown; -*leans over* Aww's twue >_< that is mistwusted. That fawse *cuddles you* viwwain -Whom I e-empwoy'd was pwe-empwoy'd by him; -He has discovew'd my design, and I -Wemain a-a pinch'd uWu thing; yea, a vewy twick -Fow them to pway a-at wiww. How came the postewns -So easiwy open? -*sighs* FIWST WOWD. B-By h-his gweat ^w^ authowity; -Which often hath nyo wess *cries* pwevaiw'd than so -On youw command. -WEONTES. I knyow't ^-^ too weww. -Give me the boy. :3 I am gwad you d-did nyot n-nyuwse him; -Though h-he does beaw some signs of *looks at you* me, *notices bulge* yet you -H-Have too much b-bwood i-in him. -HEWMIONyE. What is this? Spowt? -*cries* WEONTES. Beaw the boy hence; h-he shaww nyot come about hew; -Away with h-him; a-and w-wet hew spowt h-hewsewf -[MAMIWWIUS *blushes* is wed out] -With that s-she's big *teleports behind you* with- fow 'tis Powixenyes -Has made t-thee s-sweww t-thus. -H-HEWMIONyE. B-But :3 I'd *pokes you* say he had nyot, -And I'ww be s-swown you wouwd >_> bewieve my saying, -H-Howe'ew x3 you wean t-to th' nyaywawd. -WEONTES. Y-You, my wowds, -;;w;; Wook on hew, mawk hew weww; be but about -To say 'She is a goodwy wady' and -The justice of youw heawts ^.^ wiww t-theweto ad -'Tis pity *hugs tightly* she's nyot h-honyest- honyouwabwe.' -Pwaise >_> hew but fow this hew without-doow fowm, -Which on my faith desewves >w< high speech, and stwaight -The shwug, the hum ow ha, t-these p-petty bwands -T-That uWu cawumny doth use- O, I x3 am o-out!- -That mewcy does, *giggles shyly* fow cawumny wiww seaw -Viwtue itsewf- these shwugs, these hum's and ha's, -When you have s-said *notices bulge* she's goodwy, come between, -Ewe you can say she's honyest. But be't knyown, -Fwom him that has most cause to gwieve it shouwd *notices bulge* be, -;;w;; She's an aduwtwess. -*shuffles closer* HEWMIONyE. Shouwd a *teleports behind you* viwwain say so, -The most wepwenyish'd *cuddles you* viwwain in the wowwd, -He wewe as much mowe viwwain: you, my wowd, -Do but m-mistake. -WEONTES. You *twerks* have mistook, my wady, -Powixenyes fow Weontes. O-O *moans* thou thing! -Which I'ww nyot caww a cweatuwe o-of thy pwace, -West *moans* bawbawism, making m-me *twerks* the *sighs* pwecedent, -Shouwd a wike wanguage use to a-aww degwees -And mannyewwy d-distinguishment weave out -Betwixt the pwince and beggaw. I have said -S-She's an aduwtwess; I have said with whom. -Mowe, she's a twaitow; and Camiwwo is -A fedewawy with hew, and onye that knyows -^.^ What she shouwd s-shame to knyow hewsewf -But with hew most viwe pwincipaw- that she's -A bed-swewvew, even as bad as those -That vuwgaws give b-bowd'st titwes; ay, and pwivy -To this theiw UwU wate escape. -HEWMIONyE. Nyo, x3 by my wife, -P-Pwivy to ^w^ nyonye o-of this. How ^w^ wiww this *shuffles closer* gwieve you, -When you shaww come xDD to c-cweawew knyowwedge, that -*notices bulge* You thus have pubwish'd me! G-Gentwe my wowd, -You scawce can wight me thwoughwy then to say -xDD You did mistake. -WEONTES. Nyo; if *cries* I mistake -In those foundations which I buiwd upon, -The *hugs tightly* centwe is nyot big enyough to beaw -A schoow-boy's top. >_> Away with h-hew to *twerks* pwison. -He who s-shaww *giggles shyly* speak fow hew is afaw off guiwty -But that he *sighs* speaks. -HEWMIONyE. Thewe's some i-iww pwanyet weigns. -I must be patient *leans over* tiww *leans over* the *shuffles closer* heavens wook -With *notices bulge* an aspect mowe f-favouwabwe. Good my wowds, -I-I am nyot p-pwonye to weeping, as ouw sex -Commonwy awe- the w-want of which vain dew -Pewchance shaww dwy *twerks* youw p-pities- but I-I have -That honyouwabwe UwU gwief wodg'd hewe w-which buwns -Wowse than teaws dwown. Beseech you aww, my ^.^ wowds, -With *cuddles you* thoughts so quawified as ^w^ youw chawities -*leans over* Shaww *teleports behind you* best instwuct you, measuwe me; and *looks away* so -The K-King's wiww be pewfowm'd! -WEONTES. [To the GUAWD] Shaww I be heawd? -HEWMIONyE. Who is't *moans* that >_< goes w-with me? Beseech youw highnyess -My women may be with me, fow y-you see -My pwight wequiwes i-it. Do n-nyot weep, good *looks at you* foows; -Thewe is nyo cause; when you shaww k-knyow youw mistwess -Has desewv'd pwison, then abound >_< in teaws -As I come out: this action I nyow go on -;;w;; Is fow m-my bettew gwace. Adieu, *cuddles you* my uWu wowd. -^w^ I *screams* nyevew wish'd to see ^.^ you *sweats* sowwy; nyow -I twust I *moans* shaww. My w-women, *hugs tightly* come; you have >w< weave. -WEONTES. G-Go, do ouw *teleports behind you* bidding; hence! -Exeunt HEWMIONyE, guawded, and WADIES -FIWST W-WOWD. Beseech youw H-Highnyess, caww the Q-Queen again. -ANTIGONyUS. Be *cuddles you* cewtain what you do, siw, west youw justice -Pwove viowence, *pokes you* in the which thwee gweat *moans* onyes suffew, -Youwsewf, youw queen, youw son. -FIWST WOWD. F-Fow hew, my wowd, -I dawe my wife way down- and *pokes you* wiww do't, s-siw, -Pwease y-you t' accept it- *hugs tightly* that the Queen is spotwess -I' th' *screams* eyes of heaven and ^.^ to you- I mean -In *looks away* this which you accuse hew. -ANTIGONyUS. I-If it pwove -She's othewwise, I'ww keep my stabwes *twerks* whewe -*blushes* I wodge my wife; I'ww *moans* go in coupwes with hew; -T-Than when I UwU feew and *hugs tightly* see hew nyo fawthew twust *twerks* hew; -F-Fow evewy inch of woman in the wowwd, -Ay, evewy d-dwam o-of woman's OwO fwesh is fawse, -If *sweats* she be. -WEONTES. Howd OwO youw p-peaces. -FIWST WOWD. Good my wowd- -ANTIGONyUS. It UwU is fow you >_< we speak, nyot fow o-ouwsewves. -You awe a-abus'd, ^w^ and by some puttew-on -That wiww be damn'd fow't. W-Wouwd I knyew the viwwain! -I *moans* wouwd wand-damn h-him. Be she honyouw-fwaw'd- -I have thwee daughtews: the ewdest is eweven; -The second a-and the thiwd, nyinye and some five; -If *looks away* this pwove twue, they'ww pay fow 't. By minye honyouw, -*moans* I'ww gewd *giggles shyly* 'em aww; fouwteen they shaww n-nyot see -To bwing ;;w;; fawse genyewations. *teleports behind you* They *moans* awe co-heiws; -*cuddles you* And *sweats* I had *pokes you* wathew g-gwib m-mysewf than *cries* they -Shouwd nyot *looks at you* pwoduce faiw issue. -WEONTES. Cease; nyo m-mowe. -You :3 smeww this businyess *giggles shyly* with a sense as cowd -As is a dead man's nyose; but I-I >_< do see't ^-^ and feew't -As you feew doing thus; and see withaw -The instwuments that feew. -ANTIGONyUS. If it b-be so, -We nyeed ^-^ nyo gwave to buwy honyesty; -T-Thewe's :3 nyot a gwain of it the face to sweeten -Of the w-whowe dungy eawth. -*looks at you* WEONTES. What! Wack I cwedit? -FIWST WOWD. I-I ;;w;; had wathew you did *pokes you* wack than I, my wowd, -Upon this gwound; OwO and mowe it wouwd c-content me -T-To have hew honyouw twue than youw s-suspicion, -Be bwam'd ^-^ fow't how :33 you might. -WEONTES. Why, what nyeed we -Communye *twerks* with you of this, but >_> wathew UwU fowwow -^-^ Ouw fowcefuw instigation? Ouw pwewogative -Cawws nyot youw counsews; but ouw nyatuwaw goodnyess -Impawts this; which, i-if you- o-ow stupified -Ow :3 seeming so *moans* in *looks at you* skiww- cannyot ow wiww nyot -*looks at you* Wewish a twuth wike ^w^ us, infowm *giggles shyly* youwsewves -We nyeed nyo *looks away* mowe of youw *hugs tightly* advice. The mattew, -The xDD woss, the g-gain, t-the *hugs tightly* owd'wing o-on't, is aww -*looks at you* Pwopewwy ouws. -ANTIGONyUS. A-And I *shuffles closer* wish, my wiege, -Y-You had onwy in youw siwent judgment twied it, -Without mowe o-ovewtuwe. -WEONTES. H-How couwd t-that be? -Eithew thou awt most ignyowant by age, -Ow thou wewt bown a foow. Camiwwo's fwight, -Added to ;;w;; theiw famiwiawity- -Which was as gwoss as evew touch'd *shuffles closer* conjectuwe, -T-That wack'd *teleports behind you* sight onwy, nyought fow appwobation -But onwy seeing, aww othew *moans* ciwcumstances ->_> Made up to th' deed- doth push on this p-pwoceeding. -*screams* Yet, fow a g-gweatew confiwmation- -Fow, i-in an act of this impowtance, 'twewe -M-Most piteous to be *hugs tightly* wiwd- *giggles shyly* I have dispatch'd in post -To sacwed Dewphos, to Apowwo's tempwe, -Cweomenyes and Dion, whom you knyow -:3 Of stuff'd sufficiency. Nyow, *teleports behind you* fwom the owacwe -They wiww bwing aww, whose spiwituaw counsew had, -Shaww stop ow spuw me. Have I d-donye w-weww? -FIWST WOWD. Weww donye, m-my *pokes you* wowd. -WEONTES. Though I am satisfied, and nyeed nyo m-mowe -^w^ Than w-what I knyow, yet s-shaww the owacwe -^.^ Give w-west to th' minds of othews such as he -Whose *looks at you* ignyowant c-cweduwity wiww nyot -*cries* Come up to th' twuth. So have we thought it good -Fwom ouw fwee pewson she shouwd *twerks* be c-confin'd, -West that the tweachewy o-of t-the two fwed :33 hence -Be weft hew *twerks* to pewfowm. Come, fowwow us; -We awe to speak in *sighs* pubwic; fow this businyess -Wiww waise us aww. -ANTIGONyUS. [Aside] To waughtew, as I t-take it, -*sweats* If the good *screams* twuth ^-^ wewe knyown. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Siciwia. A p-pwison - -Entew PAUWINyA, *twerks* a GENTWEMAN, and ATTENDANTS - -P-PAUWINyA. The keepew o-of the pwison- caww to him; -W-Wet h-him have knyowwedge who I am. *sweats* Exit GENTWEMAN -Good wady! -Nyo *hugs tightly* couwt in Euwope is too good ;;w;; fow thee; -What d-dost thou *giggles shyly* then in pwison? - -We-entew GENTWEMAN with the GAOWEW - -Nyow, good siw, -You knyow me, do you n-nyot? -GAOWEW. F-Fow a wowthy wady, -And onye *hugs tightly* who much I honyouw. -P-PAUWINyA. Pway you, then, -Conduct me t-to the Queen. -GAOWEW. I may nyot, madam; -To the contwawy x3 I have *looks at you* expwess commandment. -PAUWINyA. Hewe's *leans over* ado, to wock up OwO honyesty ^w^ and honyouw fwom ->_< Th' access of g-gentwe *looks at you* visitows! Is't wawfuw, pway you, -To see hew women- any of them? *notices bulge* Emiwia? -GAOWEW. So pwease y-you, madam, -To put apawt t-these youw attendants, -Shaww bwing Emiwia fowth. -PAUWINyA. I pway nyow, caww h-hew. -Withdwaw youwsewves. Exeunt ATTENDANTS -GAOWEW. And, madam, -I must be pwesent at youw c-confewence. -*cries* PAUWINyA. *blushes* Weww, *leans over* be't so, :3 pwithee. Exit G-GAOWEW -Hewe's :33 such ado to make *notices bulge* nyo stain a stain -As passes uWu cowouwing. - -We-entew GAOWEW, with EMIWIA - -Deaw gentwewoman, -How fawes ouw gwacious wady? -EMIWIA. As weww as onye so g-gweat and so fowwown -May howd togethew. On hew fwights and gwiefs, -Which nyevew tendew wady hath bownye gweatew, -She i-is, something befowe hew time, *blushes* dewivew'd. -PAUWINyA. A boy? -EMIWIA. A daughtew, a-and *shuffles closer* a goodwy babe, -*moans* Wusty, and wike *cuddles you* to w-wive. The Queen w-weceives -Much comfowt in't; says 'My poow pwisonyew, -I *moans* am as innyocent a-as you.' -*leans over* PAUWINyA. I dawe be swown. -T-These dangewous unsafe wunyes i' th' King, beshwew them! -H-He must be ^-^ towd on't, and he *notices bulge* shaww. The office -Becomes a woman xDD best; I'ww take't upon me; -*teleports behind you* If I pwove honyey-mouth'd, wet my tongue bwistew, -And nyevew to my w-wed-wook'd *looks away* angew be -The twumpet *looks away* any mowe. Pway you, Emiwia, -Commend my >w< best obedience to the Queen; -OwO If *blushes* she dawes twust me with hew wittwe b-babe, -I'ww s-show't the King, and undewtake to b-be -H-Hew a-advocate to th' w-woud'st. W-We do nyot knyow -H-How he may soften a-at the OwO sight o' th' chiwd: -The *cries* siwence *teleports behind you* often of p-puwe *screams* innyocence -Pewsuades when s-speaking f-faiws. -^-^ EMIWIA. Most wowthy m-madam, -Y-Youw honyouw *moans* and *pokes you* youw goodnyess is so evident -That youw f-fwee undewtaking cannyot miss -A ;;w;; thwiving i-issue; ;;w;; thewe ^-^ is nyo wady >_< wiving -So meet fow this gweat e-ewwand. *sighs* Pwease youw *notices bulge* wadyship -T-To visit the nyext woom, I'ww pwesentwy -Acquaint the *moans* Queen of youw most nyobwe OwO offew -Who but t-to-day hammew'd of this *looks at you* design, -But duwst *moans* nyot tempt a *cries* minyistew of honyouw, -West she ^-^ shouwd b-be denyied. -PAUWINyA. Teww hew, Emiwia, -I'ww u-use that tongue I have; :33 if wit f-fwow fwom't -As bowdnyess *giggles shyly* fwom my bosom, *sweats* wet't nyot *giggles shyly* be doubted -I shaww do g-good. -EMIWIA. >_> Nyow b-be you bwest xDD fow it! -I'ww to the ^.^ Queen. Pwease you come something *giggles shyly* nyeawew. -GAOWEW. *pokes you* Madam, if't p-pwease the Queen to send the babe, -I-I *leans over* knyow nyot what I shaww incuw to >_< pass i-it, -H-Having nyo w-wawwant. -PAUWINyA. Y-You nyeed OwO nyot f-feaw it, siw. -This chiwd was *looks at you* pwisonyew to x3 the womb, a-and is -By waw and pwocess of *shuffles closer* gweat Nyatuwe thence -Fweed and enfwanchis'd- nyot a pawty to -The angew *shuffles closer* of the King, nyow guiwty of, -If any be, the twespass of the Queen. -GAOWEW. I do *cries* bewieve it. -PAUWINyA. Do nyot you feaw. Upon minye uWu honyouw, I-I -Wiww stand betwixt you a-and *hugs tightly* dangew. E-Exeunt - - - - -S-SCENyE III. -Siciwia. The pawace of W-WEONTES - -Entew WEONTES, ANTIGONyUS, WOWDS, and SEWVANTS - -WEONTES. Nyow n-nyight n-nyow *sighs* day *shuffles closer* nyo west! It is *giggles shyly* but weaknyess -To beaw t-the mattew thus- mewe weaknyess. If -T-The cause w-wewe nyot in being- pawt o' th' cause, -She, th' aduwtwess; :3 fow the hawwot king ->w< Is quite beyond minye awm, out of t-the bwank -A-And wevew of my bwain, pwot-pwoof; but she ->_> I can hook to me- say that *moans* she wewe gonye, -Given to ^w^ the fiwe, *pokes you* a moiety of my west -Might come to me again. Who's thewe? -FIWST *hugs tightly* SEWVANT. M-My wowd? -WEONTES. How d-does the *cries* boy? -FIWST SEWVANT. He *moans* took good west to-nyight; -'Tis *cuddles you* hop'd his sicknyess is dischawg'd. -WEONTES. *looks at you* To see his nyobwenyess! -*looks away* Conceiving the dishonyouw of his mothew, -He stwaight decwin'd, dwoop'd, took it deepwy, -Fasten'd and fix'd the shame on't in *shuffles closer* himsewf, -Thwew o-off :33 his spiwit, his appetite, his sweep, -And downwight wanguish'd. Weave me sowewy. Go, -See how h-he fawes. [Exit SEWVANT] Fie, fie! nyo thought of *looks at you* him! -The vewy thought of my *notices bulge* wevenges that w-way -Wecoiw upon me- in himsewf too m-mighty, -And in his ^.^ pawties, his awwiance. Wet him be, -U-Untiw a t-time may sewve; fow pwesent vengeance, -Take it o-on hew. Camiwwo :3 and Powixenyes -Waugh at me, make theiw *pokes you* pastime at my sowwow. -They shouwd nyot waugh if I couwd weach *pokes you* them; nyow -Shaww *hugs tightly* she, within *looks at you* my *leans over* pow'w. - -Entew UwU PAUWINyA, with a-a CHIWD - -FIWST WOWD. *hugs tightly* You must nyot entew. -PAUWINyA. *shuffles closer* Nyay, wathew, good my w-wowds, be second t-to me. -Feaw you his tywannyous passion mowe, awas, -Than the Queen's wife? A gwacious innyocent souw, -Mowe fwee than he is *moans* jeawous. -ANTIGONyUS. That's enyough. -:3 SECOND SEWVANT. Madam, :33 he hath nyot swept to-nyight; commanded -N-Nyonye shouwd come at him. -PAUWINyA. *hugs tightly* Nyot so hot, good siw; -I come to bwing him sweep. 'Tis such ^.^ as you, -That cweep wike *teleports behind you* shadows *leans over* by him, and do sigh -At each >w< his nyeedwess heavings- such as you -N-Nyouwish :33 the UwU cause o-of his a-awaking: I -Do come with wowds as medicinyaw as twue, -Honyest as eithew, to puwge him of that h-humouw -T-That p-pwesses him fwom sweep. -*shuffles closer* WEONTES. What nyoise uWu thewe, *shuffles closer* ho? -PAUWINyA. Nyo nyoise, my wowd; but nyeedfuw >_> confewence -A-About some gossips fow youw Highnyess. -WEONTES. How! -Away with that ^w^ audacious wady! Antigonyus, -I chawg'd thee *sweats* that she s-shouwd nyot come about me; -I uWu knyew she wouwd. -ANTIGONyUS. I towd h-hew so, my wowd, -*hugs tightly* On *looks away* youw dispweasuwe's pewiw, and on minye, -She shouwd nyot v-visit you. -WEONTES. What, xDD canst nyot UwU wuwe hew? -PAUWINyA. Fwom aww dishonyesty he can: :3 in this, -Unwess he take the couwse that *moans* you have donye- -Commit me *notices bulge* fow committing honyouw- twust *teleports behind you* it, -He shaww *hugs tightly* nyot w-wuwe m-me. -ANTIGONyUS. Wa you nyow, you h-heaw! -When xDD she wiww take the wein, I wet hew wun; -But >_> she'ww nyot stumbwe. -P-PAUWINyA. Good m-my wiege, I come- -And I beseech y-you heaw me, *cuddles you* who pwofesses -Mysewf >_> youw woyaw sewvant, *looks at you* youw physician, -Youw most obedient counsewwow; yet that dawes -Wess appeaw so, in comfowting youw eviws, -Than such as most *cuddles you* seem youws- I say I come -Fwom *moans* youw good Queen. -WEONTES. Good Queen! -x3 PAUWINyA. Good Queen, my wowd, good *hugs tightly* Queen- I say good Queen; -*teleports behind you* And wouwd by c-combat x3 make hew good, so wewe I -A man, the wowst about you. ->_< WEONTES. Fowce hew h-hence. -PAUWINyA. x3 Wet him that makes but twifwes of his eyes -Fiwst hand me. On minye own a-accowd *moans* I'ww off; -But fiwst I'ww *hugs tightly* do x3 my ewwand. The good Q-Queen, -Fow *shuffles closer* she is good, h-hath *sighs* bwought y-you f-fowth a daughtew; -Hewe 'tis; commends it to youw *cuddles you* bwessing. -[Waying down the chiwd] -WEONTES. Out! -A mankind *screams* witch! ^w^ Hence with hew, out o' doow! -A-A :33 most intewwigencing bawd! -PAUWINyA. Nyot so. -*twerks* I a-am as ignyowant in that as y-you -In so entitwing me; and *shuffles closer* nyo wess honyest -Than you awe mad; w-which is enyough, I'ww *cuddles you* wawwant, -As this wowwd :3 goes, to pass fow honyest. -*hugs tightly* WEONTES. Twaitows! -Wiww you nyot push hew out? Give hew the b-bastawd. -[To ANTIGONyUS] Thou dotawd, thou awt woman-tiw'd, unwoosted -B-By thy *notices bulge* Dame Pawtwet hewe. Take up t-the bastawd; -Take't up, I say; give't to thy cwonye. -PAUWINyA. Fow e-evew -Unvenyewabwe be thy hands, if thou -T-Tak'st up the Pwincess by that fowced *looks at you* basenyess -W-Which he has put upon't! -WEONTES. He d-dweads his wife. -PAUWINyA. S-So *blushes* I wouwd you d-did; then 'twewe past aww doubt -You'd caww youw chiwdwen youws. -WEONTES. A nyest of t-twaitows! -ANTIGONyUS. I *sweats* am *cries* nyonye, by this good wight. -*cries* PAUWINyA. Nyow I; nyow *pokes you* any -But onye that's ^w^ hewe; and >_> that's himsewf; fow he -The sacwed honyouw o-of himsewf, his *moans* Queen's, -*moans* His h-hopefuw *moans* son's, his *blushes* babe's, betways to swandew, -*sweats* Whose sting i-is *leans over* shawpew than the swowd's; and wiww ;;w;; nyot- -F-Fow, as the case nyow s-stands, *hugs tightly* it is a cuwse -He *screams* cannyot OwO be compeww'd to 't- o-once ^-^ wemove -The woot UwU of h-his o-opinyion, which is *looks away* wotten -As evew oak *looks at you* ow OwO stonye was sound. -WEONTES. A cawwat -*notices bulge* Of boundwess tongue, who *screams* wate ^.^ hath beat hew husband, -And n-nyow baits me! This bwat is *looks away* nyonye of minye; -I-It is the issue of Powixenyes. -Hence with *pokes you* it, a-and togethew with the dam -C-Commit them to the *sighs* fiwe. -*moans* PAUWINyA. It is *giggles shyly* youws. -*screams* And, might we way th' o-owd pwovewb to youw chawge, -S-So wike you 'tis the wowse. ^w^ Behowd, my wowds, -Awthough x3 the pwint be wittwe, the whowe mattew -A-And copy xDD of the fathew- eye, nyose, wip, -The t-twick of's fwown, his f-fowehead; nyay, the vawwey, -T-The pwetty dimpwes of h-his c-chin and :33 cheek; his OwO smiwes; -The vewy mouwd and fwame of hand, *cries* nyaiw, fingew. -And thou, good goddess Nyatuwe, w-which *notices bulge* hast ^.^ made it -So wike to him xDD that got it, if thou h-hast -The o-owdewing of the mind too, 'mongst aww cowouws -Nyo yewwow in't, west she s-suspect, as he does, -Hew chiwdwen UwU nyot >_< hew husband's! -WEONTES. A gwoss hag! -And, wozew, thou awt wowthy to be hang'd -T-That wiwt nyot *hugs tightly* stay hew uWu tongue. -ANTIGONyUS. H-Hang *looks away* aww the husbands -That cannyot do that *giggles shyly* feat, OwO you'ww weave *twerks* youwsewf -Hawdwy onye subject. -;;w;; WEONTES. Once mowe, take hew hence. -PAUWINyA. *hugs tightly* A *cuddles you* most unwowthy and *giggles shyly* unnyatuwaw wowd -Can do *blushes* nyo mowe. -WEONTES. I'ww ha' thee buwnt. -PAUWINyA. I cawe nyot. -It is an hewetic uWu that makes the fiwe, -N-Nyot she which buwns in't. I'ww nyot c-caww you tywant -But this *blushes* most x3 cwuew usage of y-youw Queen- -Nyot abwe to p-pwoduce mowe accusation -Than *sweats* youw own weak-hing'd fancy- something savouws -Of tywanny, and wiww ignyobwe make you, -Yea, scandawous to t-the w-wowwd. -WEONTES. On youw awwegiance, -Out of t-the chambew with hew! Wewe I a tywant, -Whewe w-wewe hew w-wife? She duwst nyot caww me so, -If she UwU did *screams* knyow m-me onye. Away with hew! -PAUWINyA. *looks at you* I xDD pway you, *blushes* do nyot push me; I'ww be *giggles shyly* gonye. -W-Wook ^w^ to youw babe, my wowd; 'tis y-youws. Jove send hew -A bettew g-guiding spiwit! What nyeeds these hands? -You t-that awe thus so *twerks* tendew o'ew his f-fowwies -W-Wiww nyevew *giggles shyly* do him good, nyot onye of you. -UwU So, so. Faweweww; we awe gonye. Exit -WEONTES. Thou, twaitow, hast s-set *pokes you* on thy wife to this. -My chiwd! Away with't. Even thou, t-that hast -A heawt so tendew o'ew it, take *notices bulge* it *sighs* hence, -And see i-it instantwy consum'd with fiwe; -Even t-thou, and nyonye but thou. T-Take it up :33 stwaight. -Within this *teleports behind you* houw bwing *teleports behind you* me w-wowd *teleports behind you* 'tis donye, -And by good testimony, ow I'ww >_< seize thy wife, -With that thou ewse caww'st thinye. If thou wefuse, -*looks away* And wiwt encountew with *shuffles closer* my wwath, say x3 so; -The b-bastawd bwains w-with these my pwopew hands -Shaww I-I dash out. Go, take it to the fiwe; -Fow thou *teleports behind you* set'st on thy wife. -ANTIGONyUS. I did nyot, siw. -*looks away* These wowds, my nyobwe fewwows, if >w< they pwease, -Can cweaw me in't. -*pokes you* WOWDS. We can. My woyaw wiege, -He is nyot guiwty of *notices bulge* hew coming hithew. -WEONTES. Y-You'we wiaws aww. -FIWST WOWD. *teleports behind you* Beseech >w< youw Highnyess, give us ^w^ bettew cwedit. -We have *looks at you* awways t-twuwy sewv'd y-you; and beseech -So to esteem of us; and on *pokes you* ouw knyees w-we beg, -*giggles shyly* As wecompense of ouw deaw sewvices -Past and t-to :3 come, that you do change this puwpose, -Which being so UwU howwibwe, ^-^ so *cuddles you* bwoody, m-must -Wead on to uWu some fouw issue. We xDD aww knyeew. -WEONTES. I am *notices bulge* a *looks at you* feathew fow each w-wind ^w^ that bwows. -Shaww I wive on to ^w^ see this bastawd knyeew -And caww me fathew? Bettew *screams* buwn it nyow -Than cuwse it uWu then. But x3 be >_< it; *pokes you* wet :33 it wive. -It shaww nyot nyeithew. [To OwO ANTIGONyUS] You, Siw, *teleports behind you* come you hithew. -You that have been ;;w;; so tendewwy :3 officious -With Wady Mawgewy, youw midwife thewe, -To save this b-bastawd's wife- f-fow '-'tis a bastawd, -So s-suwe as this >w< beawd's gwey- what w-wiww you adventuwe -To save this bwat's wife? -ANTIGONyUS. Anything, my *cries* wowd, -That my abiwity may *sighs* undewgo, -And nyobwenyess impose. At weast, thus much: -I-I'ww p-pawn the wittwe >_< bwood w-which I have weft -To save the innyocent- anything p-possibwe. -WEONTES. It shaww b-be possibwe. Sweaw by this swowd -Thou wiwt pewfowm my bidding. -ANTIGONyUS. I wiww, my wowd. -*pokes you* WEONTES. Mawk, a-and pewfowm it- seest thou? Fow t-the faiw -Of any point uWu in't shaww n-nyot onwy be -:33 Death *sighs* to thysewf, but to t-thy wewd-tongu'd wife, -Whom fow UwU this time we p-pawdon. *shuffles closer* We enjoin t-thee, -As thou awt wiegeman to us, that thou cawwy -This femawe :33 bastawd hence; and that thou b-beaw it -To some wemote and desewt pwace, quite out -*cuddles you* Of ouw d-dominyions; a-and that thewe thou weave it, -Without mowe mewcy, to it own pwotection -And favouw of the cwimate. *blushes* As by stwange fowtunye -It came to us, I do in justice *screams* chawge thee, -On t-thy souw's pewiw and thy body's towtuwe, -That thou commend ^w^ it *moans* stwangewy to some p-pwace -*pokes you* Whewe chance x3 may nyuwse ow end it. T-Take it up. -ANTIGONyUS. I sweaw to do this, though a pwesent death -Had >_< been *looks at you* mowe mewcifuw. Come o-on, UwU poow babe. -S-Some powewfuw spiwit i-instwuct uWu the k-kites and wavens -To be thy nyuwses! Wowves and beaws, they say, -Casting theiw savagenyess aside, have donye -Wike ;;w;; offices of p-pity. Siw, be pwospewous -In mowe OwO than ^-^ this *twerks* deed does wequiwe! A-And bwessing -Against this cwuewty fight on thy side, -Poow thing, condemn'd to woss! x3 Exit with the chiwd -WEONTES. Nyo, I'ww n-nyot weaw -Anyothew's *leans over* issue. - -Entew a SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. Pwease youw H-Highnyess, posts -F-Fwom those you s-sent t-to ;;w;; th' owacwe awe *twerks* come -An houw since. Cweomenyes and Dion, -Being weww a-awwiv'd fwom :3 Dewphos, awe both wanded, -Hasting to th' couwt. -FIWST WOWD. So pwease you, siw, theiw speed -Hath been beyond account. -*notices bulge* WEONTES. Twenty-thwee days -They have been absent; 'tis good speed; fowetewws -The gweat Apowwo suddenwy wiww h-have -The *screams* twuth *leans over* of this appeaw. Pwepawe you, wowds; -Summon a session, that we may a-awwaign -Ouw m-most diswoyaw w-wady; *looks at you* fow, as she hath -Been pubwicwy accus'd, so ^-^ shaww she have -A just and open twiaw. Whiwe she w-wives, -My heawt wiww be UwU a buwden t-to me. Weave me; -And think upon my bidding. Exeunt - - - - -<> - - - -x3 ACT III. SCENyE *sighs* I. -Siciwia. On t-the woad to the Capitaw - -Entew CWEOMENyES and DION - -CWEOMENyES. The cwimate's dewicate, the aiw most ^w^ sweet, -Fewtiwe the UwU iswe, the tempwe much suwpassing -The c-common pwaise it *screams* beaws. -DION. I shaww wepowt, -Fow most it caught me, the cewestiaw habits- -Methinks I so shouwd tewm them- and the wevewence -O-Of t-the *looks away* gwave weawews. *moans* O, the sacwifice! -How c-cewemonyious, sowemn, and unyeawthwy, ->_> It was i' th' off'wing! -CWEOMENyES. But o-of aww, the buwst -And the e-eaw-deaf'nying voice o' th' owacwe, -Kin to J-Jove's thundew, so suwpwis'd my sense -That I was nyothing. -DION. If th' e-event o' *cuddles you* th' jouwnyey -Pwove as s-successfuw t-to *blushes* the Queen- O-O, be't so!- -As it hath been to UwU us wawe, pweasant, *looks at you* speedy, -The time ^-^ is *sighs* wowth the use on't. -CWEOMENyES. Gweat Apowwo -Tuwn aww to th' best! T-These pwocwamations, -S-So fowcing f-fauwts upon Hewmionye, -I wittwe wike. -DION. The viowent cawwiage of it -W-Wiww cweaw *moans* ow :3 end the businyess. When the owacwe- -Thus b-by >_> Apowwo's gweat divinye seaw'd up- -Shaww >w< the >_> contents discovew, something wawe -Even then wiww wush to knyowwedge. G-Go; fwesh *screams* howses. -And gwacious b-be x3 the >_> issue! Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *teleports behind you* II. -Siciwia. ^.^ A couwt *hugs tightly* of >w< justice - -Entew WEONTES, WOWDS, and OFFICEWS - -WEONTES. *giggles shyly* This s-sessions, to ouw gweat gwief we *teleports behind you* pwonyounce, -Even pushes 'gainst ouw xDD heawt- the *looks away* pawty twied, -*moans* The daughtew of a king, ouw wife, and *sighs* onye -:3 Of us *moans* too much ;;w;; bewov'd. W-Wet us be cweaw'd -Of being tywannyous, s-since we s-so openwy -*twerks* Pwoceed in j-justice, which shaww h-have *notices bulge* due couwse, -Even to the guiwt o-ow the puwgation. -Pwoduce the pwisonyew. -O-OFFICEW. *teleports behind you* It is his Highnyess' pweasuwe :3 that the Queen -Appeaw in pewson hewe in couwt. - -Entew HEWMIONyE, as t-to ^w^ hew twiaw, PAUWINyA, and WADIES - -Siwence! -*pokes you* WEONTES. Wead the indictment. -OFFICEW. [Weads] 'Hewmionye, Queen to the wowthy Weontes, King of -Siciwia, thou awt *leans over* hewe accused and awwaignyed o-of high UwU tweason, in -committing aduwtewy with *shuffles closer* Powixenyes, King of *notices bulge* Bohemia; and -:3 conspiwing w-with Camiwwo to take away the wife >w< of ouw soveweign -wowd *teleports behind you* the King, thy w-woyaw husband: the pwetence wheweof being by -ciwcumstances pawtwy w-waid *twerks* open, thou, Hewmionye, contwawy to the -faith >_< and awwegiance of t-twue s-subject, didst counsew and aid them, -fow *notices bulge* theiw bettew s-safety, to fwy away by nyight.' -HEWMIONyE. S-Since *giggles shyly* what I am t-to s-say must be b-but that -Which contwadicts my accusation, and -The testimony on m-my pawt nyo othew -But what comes fwom *looks away* mysewf, it shaww scawce b-boot me -To say '-'Nyot guiwty.' Minye integwity -Being counted fawsehood shaww, a-as I e-expwess it, -Be so weceiv'd. B-But UwU thus- i-if pow'ws divinye -B-Behowd ouw h-human actions, as they do, -I doubt nyot then b-but innyocence shaww make -Fawse accusation bwush, and tywanny -Twembwe at patience. You, my wowd, best k-knyow- -Who weast wiww s-seem to do so- my past >w< wife -Hath been as continyent, as chaste, as twue, ->w< As I am nyow unhappy; which is mowe -Than histowy *looks at you* can pattewn, though devis'd -And pway'd to take *screams* spectatows; f-fow behowd me- -x3 A f-fewwow >_> of the woyaw bed, which owe -A moiety of *looks away* the thwonye, a gweat k-king's daughtew, -The mothew t-to a OwO hopefuw pwince- hewe standing -T-To pwate *sweats* and *teleports behind you* tawk fow w-wife and h-honyouw fowe -Who pwease to *pokes you* come and heaw. Fow wife, I pwize it -A-As I weigh gwief, *cuddles you* which I w-wouwd spawe; *shuffles closer* fow OwO honyouw, -*shuffles closer* 'Tis a dewivative fwom me *cries* to *cries* minye, -And onwy that I stand fow. I appeaw -T-To youw *shuffles closer* own conscience, s-siw, befowe Powixenyes -Came to youw couwt, how I was in *shuffles closer* youw *shuffles closer* gwace, -How mewited to be so; since he came, -W-With what encountew so u-uncuwwent I -Have stwain'd UwU t' appeaw thus; i-if *teleports behind you* onye jot >_< beyond -T-The xDD bound of honyouw, ow in act *notices bulge* ow *pokes you* wiww -That *pokes you* way incwinying, hawd'nyed *moans* be xDD the heawts -Of aww >_< that heaw me, and my n-nyeaw'st of kin -Cwy fie u-upon my gwave! -*leans over* WEONTES. I nye'ew heawd yet -That any of t-these bowdew vices x3 wanted -Wess impudence to gainsay what they did -Than to pewfowm it fiwst. -HEWMIONyE. That's twue enyough; -Though 'tis a saying, siw, nyot due to me. -WEONTES. You wiww n-nyot own >_< it. -HEWMIONyE. Mowe than >_< mistwess o-of -Which comes to me in nyame of fauwt, I must nyot -At *moans* aww acknyowwedge. x3 Fow Powixenyes, -With whom I-I am accus'd, I d-do confess -*looks at you* I wov'd him *giggles shyly* as in honyouw he wequiw'd; -With *notices bulge* such >w< a kind of wove as might become -A-A wady wike me; uWu with a wove even such, -So and nyo othew, a-as youwsewf c-commanded; -Which n-nyot to have donye, I-I t-think *cuddles you* had been in me -Both disobedience a-and i-ingwatitude -To you *pokes you* and towawd youw fwiend; *twerks* whose wove had spoke, -Evew since *looks at you* it xDD couwd speak, fwom *twerks* an infant, fweewy, -That i-it was youws. Nyow fow conspiwacy: -*giggles shyly* I *leans over* knyow nyot how it tastes, though it >w< be dish'd -Fow *hugs tightly* me to twy how; aww I knyow of it -Is that *hugs tightly* Camiwwo was an honyest man; -And why ^w^ he weft >w< youw couwt, the gods themsewves, -W-Wotting nyo mowe than I-I, awe ignyowant. -WEONTES. You knyew of his depawtuwe, as you k-knyow -What you have undewta'en to do in's a-absence. -HEWMIONyE. Siw, -Y-You speak a wanguage t-that I undewstand nyot. -*moans* My wife stands in *sweats* the w-wevew of youw d-dweams, ->w< Which I'ww way down. -WEONTES. Youw actions awe my dweams. -You h-had a *sweats* bastawd by Powixenyes, -And I *moans* but *screams* dweam'd it. ^w^ As you wewe past aww shame- -Those of x3 youw fact awe so- so past aww twuth; -Which to deny concewns mowe than avaiws; fow a-as -Thy bwat hath been cast out, wike to itsewf, -Nyo x3 fathew ownying it- which is *cries* indeed -Mowe cwiminyaw in thee *looks at you* than *giggles shyly* it- so thou -Shawt feew *looks away* ouw justice; in whose easiest p-passage -Wook fow nyo wess t-than death. -HEWMIONyE. S-Siw, spawe youw thweats. -The bug w-which you wouwd OwO fwight me ;;w;; with I seek. -T-To m-me can wife *screams* be nyo commodity. -The cwown and c-comfowt of my wife, youw favouw, -I do give wost, fow I do feew it gonye, -But k-knyow nyot how *leans over* it went; my second joy -And fiwst fwuits of my body, fwom his pwesence -I am :33 baww'd, wike onye infectious; m-my thiwd uWu comfowt, -Staww'd most u-unwuckiwy, i-is fwom my bweast- -The innyocent miwk in it most innyocent mouth- -H-Haw'd out to muwdew; mysewf on evewy p-post -P-Pwocwaim'd a stwumpet; >w< with i-immodest hatwed -The chiwd-bed uWu pwiviwege denyied, w-which 'wongs -To >_> women o-of aww *sighs* fashion; wastwy, huwwied -*notices bulge* Hewe to this pwace, x3 i' th' open aiw, >_> befowe -I-I have got stwength of wimit. Nyow, my wiege, -Teww *teleports behind you* me what bwessings I h-have hewe awive -That I shouwd feaw to d-die. Thewefowe pwoceed. -*looks away* But yet h-heaw this- mistake UwU me nyot: n-nyo wife, -I pwize i-it nyot :3 a stwaw, but fow minye honyouw -Which I wouwd fwee- if I shaww *teleports behind you* be c-condemn'd -Upon suwmises, uWu aww pwoofs sweeping ewse -uWu But what youw jeawousies awake, I teww you -'Tis OwO wigouw, and nyot waw. Youw honyouws a-aww, -I do wefew me to the *cries* owacwe: -A-Apowwo be *hugs tightly* my j-judge! -FIWST WOWD. This youw wequest -Is awtogethew just. Thewefowe, bwing fowth, -And in A-Apowwo's *moans* nyame, his owacwe. -Exeunt cewtain O-OFFICEWS -HEWMIONyE. The E-Empewow of Wussia *cries* was my fathew; ->_> O >_< that he wewe a-awive, and hewe behowding -His daughtew's twiaw! *looks away* that he did but see -The OwO fwatnyess of *pokes you* my misewy; *teleports behind you* yet with eyes -Of pity, nyot wevenge! - -We-entew xDD OFFICEWS, with CWEOMENyES and *looks at you* DION - -OFFICEW. You hewe shaww sweaw upon t-this *blushes* swowd of justice -T-That you, Cweomenyes and Dion, have -Been both at Dewphos, and fwom thence have bwought -This seaw'd-up owacwe, by the h-hand d-dewivew'd -Of gweat Apowwo's pwiest; and that since *screams* then -You *sweats* have nyot daw'd to ^w^ bweak the howy s-seaw -Nyow wead the secwets in't. -CWEOMENyES, ^w^ DION. Aww *hugs tightly* this we s-sweaw. -WEONTES. :33 Bweak up t-the seaws uWu and w-wead. -OFFICEW. [Weads] 'Hewmionye i-is chaste; P-Powixenyes bwamewess; -Camiwwo a *shuffles closer* twue subject; Weontes a jeawous tywant; his innyocent -*sighs* babe t-twuwy begotten; and the King shaww wive without an heiw, *giggles shyly* if -that which is wost be nyot f-found.' -WOWDS. N-Nyow bwessed be the gweat A-Apowwo! -HEWMIONyE. P-Pwaised! -WEONTES. H-Hast thou wead twuth? -OFFICEW. Ay, my w-wowd; even so -As it is UwU hewe set down. -WEONTES. Thewe is n-nyo twuth at aww i' th' owacwe. -*giggles shyly* The sessions shaww pwoceed. This is mewe *screams* fawsehood. - -*looks away* Entew a SEWVANT - -SEWVANT. My wowd *cries* the *blushes* King, the King! -*looks at you* WEONTES. *looks away* What is the businyess? -SEWVANT. O siw, I-I UwU shaww be hated to wepowt it: -The P-Pwince youw son, with mewe conceit and feaw -Of t-the Queen's *giggles shyly* speed, is gonye. -WEONTES. How! Gonye? -SEWVANT. Is >_> dead. -W-WEONTES. A-Apowwo's *shuffles closer* angwy; and *leans over* the heavens themsewves -Do stwike *twerks* at my injustice. [HEWMIONyE swoons] -How nyow, thewe! -*giggles shyly* PAUWINyA. This nyews i-is mowtaw *teleports behind you* to :33 the Queen. *teleports behind you* Wook down -And *cuddles you* see what death is doing. -WEONTES. Take hew h-hence. -Hew heawt is but o'ewchawg'd; s-she wiww *notices bulge* wecovew. -*pokes you* I have too much bewiev'd minye own suspicion. -Beseech you tendewwy a-appwy t-to hew -Some w-wemedies f-fow wife. -:3 Exeunt PAUWINyA and WADIES with HEWMIONyE -Apowwo, pawdon -My gweat pwofanyenyess 'gainst thinye owacwe. -I'ww *moans* weconciwe me to Powixenyes, -Nyew woo my queen, wecaww *shuffles closer* the g-good C-Camiwwo- -Whom I pwocwaim a m-man of twuth, of mewcy. -Fow, being twanspowted by *giggles shyly* my *hugs tightly* jeawousies -T-To bwoody t-thoughts and to wevenge, I chose ->_< Camiwwo fow *leans over* the m-minyistew to poison -My fwiend Powixenyes; which h-had uWu been donye -*moans* But >_> that the good mind of Camiwwo tawdied -My swift >_> command, though *teleports behind you* I with death *cuddles you* and xDD with -Wewawd d-did thweaten and encouwage h-him, -Nyot d-doing it *teleports behind you* and being donye. He, *cries* most humanye -OwO And fiww'd >w< with *sighs* honyouw, to m-my k-kingwy guest -Uncwasp'd my pwactice, quit *sighs* his fowtunyes hewe, -Which y-you knyew gweat, and to the cewtain hazawd -Of *sighs* aww incewtainties himsewf commended, -Nyo w-wichew t-than h-his honyouw. H-How he gwistews -Thowough my wust! >_> And :3 how his *twerks* piety -Does my deeds make the bwackew! - -We-entew P-PAUWINyA - -PAUWINyA. Woe the whiwe! -O, cut my wace, west my heawt, cwacking it, -Bweak too! ->_> FIWST WOWD. *looks at you* What fit is this, good ^-^ wady? -PAUWINyA. What studied towments, tywant, hast fow me? -W-What w-wheews, wacks, f-fiwes? what fwaying, *cries* boiwing -*teleports behind you* In weads ow oiws? What *looks away* owd ow nyewew towtuwe -Must I weceive, whose >_< evewy wowd desewves -To taste ^.^ of thy most wowst? Thy t-tywanny -Togethew wowking with thy *screams* jeawousies, -Fancies too w-weak fow b-boys, too gween and idwe -Fow giwws o-of nyinye- *screams* O, ^-^ think what they h-have donye, -And then wun mad indeed, stawk mad; fow *blushes* aww -T-Thy by-gonye foowewies wewe but spices *hugs tightly* of it. -That thou *sweats* betway'dst Powixenyes, 'twas *moans* nyothing; -T-That did but show thee, of a foow, inconstant, -And damnyabwe ingwatefuw. Nyow was't much -Thou wouwdst have poison'd good UwU Camiwwo's honyouw, -To have *sweats* him kiww a king- p-poow twespasses, -M-Mowe monstwous standing by; w-wheweof I weckon -The casting fowth to cwows thy baby *teleports behind you* daughtew -To be ow nyonye o-ow wittwe, though a deviw -Wouwd have s-shed watew out of fiwe ewe donye't; -Nyow i-is't d-diwectwy waid to thee, the death -Of the young Pwince, >_< whose honyouwabwe thoughts- -Thoughts high fow onye so tendew- cweft the :3 heawt -That couwd conceive *pokes you* a *cuddles you* gwoss and f-foowish siwe -Bwemish'd his >_< gwacious dam. *teleports behind you* This is nyot, ;;w;; nyo, -W-Waid *looks at you* to thy answew; but the wast- O-O wowds, -W-When *cries* I have said, cwy 'Woe!'- the Queen, the Queen, -The sweet'st, deaw'st cweatuwe's dead; and vengeance -*cuddles you* Fow't nyot dwopp'd down yet. -*blushes* FIWST WOWD. The h-highew pow'ws fowbid! -;;w;; PAUWINyA. I-I say she's dead; I'ww sweaw't. If wowd *hugs tightly* nyow oath -Pwevaiw *pokes you* nyot, g-go :33 and see. If *looks at you* you can bwing -Tinctuwe ow wustwe in hew w-wip, hew eye, -Heat outwawdwy *notices bulge* ow *sighs* bweath within, I'ww *sweats* sewve you -As I wouwd *cuddles you* do t-the gods. uWu But, O thou tywant! -Do nyot wepent these things, >w< fow they awe heaview -Than aww thy woes c-can stiw; thewefowe x3 betake thee -T-To nyothing but despaiw. A thousand knyees -Ten thousand ^-^ yeaws *hugs tightly* togethew, nyaked, fasting, -*blushes* Upon *looks at you* a bawwen mountain, and *giggles shyly* stiww *looks at you* wintew -In stowm p-pewpetuaw, couwd nyot move the gods -To wook that way thou wewt. -WEONTES. Go on, >w< go on. -Thou canst nyot :33 speak too m-much; I have desewv'd -Aww t-tongues to t-tawk t-theiw bitt'west. -FIWST WOWD. Say >_< nyo mowe; -Howe'ew >w< the b-businyess goes, you have made fauwt -I-I' th' UwU bowdnyess of youw speech. -PAUWINyA. I am sowwy fow't. -Aww fauwts I make, *sweats* when *leans over* I shaww c-come to knyow uWu them. -I d-do wepent. Awas, I xDD have show'd too much -The washnyess of a-a woman! He is touch'd -To th' nyobwe heawt. What's *moans* gonye a-and what's p-past hewp -Shouwd be past gwief. Do nyot weceive affwiction -;;w;; At my petition; *screams* I beseech you, w-wathew -W-Wet me be *pokes you* punyish'd that have minded you -Of what you shouwd fowget. Nyow, g-good my w-wiege, -Siw, woyaw siw, fowgive a *twerks* foowish *moans* woman. -The wove I *screams* bowe youw queen- wo, foow again! -I'ww speak *shuffles closer* of hew nyo mowe, nyow o-of youw c-chiwdwen; -I'ww nyot wemembew you of my own wowd, -Who is UwU wost too. Take youw patience t-to *shuffles closer* you, -And I'ww say nyothing. -^-^ WEONTES. Thou didst speak but w-weww -When most the twuth; ;;w;; which I weceive *shuffles closer* much bettew -Than to be pitied of ;;w;; thee. Pwithee, *shuffles closer* bwing *looks away* me -UwU To the dead bodies of m-my queen and OwO son. -Onye gwave *notices bulge* shaww be fow both. Upon them shaww -The >w< causes of theiw *looks away* death appeaw, u-unto -O-Ouw shame pewpetuaw. Once a d-day I'ww visit -The chapew whewe t-they wie; and *sweats* teaws *pokes you* shed thewe -Shaww be my wecweation. So wong >w< as nyatuwe -W-Wiww ;;w;; beaw up OwO with >_< this exewcise, so wong -I d-daiwy vow to use it. Come, xDD and wead me -To *cries* these sowwows. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE *cries* III. -*shuffles closer* Bohemia. ;;w;; The sea-coast - -Entew ANTIGONyUS with the CHIWD, and a-a MAWINyEW - -ANTIGONyUS. Thou awt pewfect then ouw ship hath touch'd *screams* upon -The desewts of Bohemia? -MAWINyEW. Ay, my wowd, and f-feaw -We :33 have w-wanded in iww time; the skies wook g-gwimwy -And ^w^ thweaten p-pwesent *giggles shyly* bwustews. In *notices bulge* my conscience, -The heavens ^w^ with that we *hugs tightly* have in *screams* hand awe *looks away* angwy -And fwown upon 's. -ANTIGONyUS. Theiw sacwed w-wiwws be donye! Go, :33 get aboawd; -Wook t-to t-thy bawk. I'ww *sweats* nyot be wong befowe -I *looks away* caww upon thee. ->w< MAWINyEW. Make youw *moans* best haste; and go n-nyot -Too faw i-i' th' wand; '-'tis wike to be woud weathew; -Besides, this *blushes* pwace i-is famous fow the cweatuwes -Of pwey >_< that keep upon't. -ANTIGONyUS. Go *pokes you* thou a-away; -I'ww fowwow uWu instantwy. -MAWINyEW. I a-am *cuddles you* gwad at heawt -To be so w-wid o' th' businyess. Exit -ANTIGONyUS. Come, *notices bulge* poow babe. -I-I h-have heawd, but nyot bewiev'd, the spiwits o' th' dead -;;w;; May wawk a-again. If such thing b-be, thy mothew -Appeaw'd to me wast nyight; fow nye'ew was dweam -So w-wike a *hugs tightly* waking. To me comes a cweatuwe, -Sometimes ^.^ hew head on onye side some anyothew- -xDD I nyevew saw >_> a vessew o-of wike sowwow, -*looks away* So fiww'd a-and so becoming; in puwe *looks away* white wobes, -*pokes you* Wike vewy sanctity, *pokes you* she did appwoach -My cabin whewe :3 I ^w^ way; thwice bow'd befowe me; -And, gasping to *blushes* begin some speech, hew eyes -Became two spouts; the fuwy spent, anyon -*giggles shyly* Did this *notices bulge* bweak fwom hew: 'Good *screams* Antigonyus, -Since ^.^ fate, against thy bettew disposition, -Hath made t-thy pewson f-fow the thwowew-out -Of my poow babe, accowding to thinye oath, -Pwaces w-wemote *looks at you* enyough awe in Bohemia, -T-Thewe w-weep, and weave it cwying; *sighs* and, fow the babe -Is counted w-wost f-fow evew, Pewdita -I pwithee caww't. Fow this u-ungentwe b-businyess, -Put *looks at you* on :33 thee uWu by my wowd, thou *giggles shyly* nye'ew shawt see -Thy wife P-Pauwinya mowe.' so, with shwieks, -She mewted into aiw. Affwighted much, -I did UwU in t-time cowwect mysewf, and thought -This was so a-and n-nyo swumbew. Dweams awe *notices bulge* toys; -Y-Yet, fow *pokes you* this once, yea, s-supewstitiouswy, -I wiww be squaw'd by this. I d-do bewieve -Hewmionye hath suffew'd *sweats* death, and t-that -Apowwo wouwd, xDD this being indeed the i-issue -Of King P-Powixenyes, it shouwd hewe be waid, -Eithew fow wife ow death, upon the eawth -Of i-its >_< wight fathew. Bwossom, speed thee weww! -*giggles shyly* [Waying down the c-chiwd] -Thewe w-wie, and thewe thy chawactew; thewe these -[Waying down ^.^ a bundwe] -Which may, if *notices bulge* fowtunye pwease, b-both bweed thee, pwetty, -And stiww *leans over* west thinye. The *looks at you* stowm begins. Poow wwetch, -That fow thy mothew's f-fauwt awt thus xDD expos'd -To woss and what m-may fowwow! *leans over* Weep *sighs* I cannyot, -B-But my heawt *giggles shyly* bweeds; and most accuws'd am I -To be *looks at you* by oath *notices bulge* enjoin'd to t-this. Faweweww! -The day fwowns *looks at you* mowe and mowe. Thou'wt wike to >_< have -A *looks at you* wuwwaby too wough; I nyevew *looks away* saw -The heavens so dim b-by day. [Nyoise o-of hunt *notices bulge* within] A savage -c-cwamouw! -*sighs* Weww may I-I get aboawd! This is the chase; -I am g-gonye fow evew. Exit, puwsued by *moans* a beaw - -E-Entew an o-owd *hugs tightly* SHEPHEWD - -S-SHEPHEWD. *leans over* I *moans* wouwd thewe wewe nyo age between ten and t-thwee and -twenty, ow that *looks at you* youth *sweats* wouwd sweep out the west; fow thewe is -nyothing i-in the between but getting wenches w-with c-chiwd, wwonging -the ancientwy, steawing, fighting- *cuddles you* [Howns] Hawk you nyow! W-Wouwd -any but these b-boiw'd bwains *teleports behind you* of nyinyeteen and two and twenty hunt -*sighs* this weathew? T-They have *teleports behind you* scaw'd away two of my best sheep, which I-I -feaw the wowf wiww soonyew find than the mastew. If any whewe I-I -have ^.^ them, 'tis by the sea-side, bwowsing *notices bulge* of ivy. Good wuck, an't -*looks away* be thy wiww! OwO What have we hewe? [Taking uWu up the chiwd] M-Mewcy -on's, a bawnye! A vewy pwetty bawnye. A boy ow a chiwd, I wondew? xDD A -pwetty onye; a vewy p-pwetty onye- *looks at you* suwe, ^.^ some scape. *screams* Though I am nyot -bookish, yet I can wead waiting-gentwewoman in the scape. This -UwU has x3 been some staiw-wowk, some twunk-wowk, some behind-doow-wowk; -they wewe w-wawmew that got this than t-the poow thing is hewe. I-I'ww -take it up fow pity; yet I'ww tawwy t-tiww m-my s-son come; he hawwoo'd -but e-even nyow. Whoa-ho-hoa! - -Entew CWOWN - -CWOWN. Hiwwoa, woa! -SHEPHEWD. What, awt so nyeaw? If thou'wt see *moans* a thing to tawk *hugs tightly* on when -thou awt dead *pokes you* and *giggles shyly* wotten, *twerks* come hithew. W-What aiw'st thou, ^w^ man? -CWOWN. I have x3 seen t-two such sights, by sea and by wand! But *shuffles closer* I am -nyot to say it OwO is a >w< sea, f-fow it is nyow the sky; betwixt the -fiwmament a-and it you cannyot thwust a bodkin's point. -S-SHEPHEWD. Why, b-boy, how is it? -CWOWN. I wouwd you did but see how it chafes, how it wages, h-how it -takes up the *cries* showe! But that's >_> nyot t-to the point. O, the most -piteous cwy of the poow souws! S-Sometimes to see 'em, and nyot to -uWu see 'em; nyow the ship *twerks* bowing the moon with hew m-mainmast, and anyon -s-swawwowed with yeast x3 and *cries* fwoth, as you'd thwust a *moans* cowk into a -*moans* hogshead. And then fow t-the wand sewvice- >w< to see how UwU the beaw t-towe -out his shouwdew-bonye; *sighs* how he c-cwied to me fow hewp, *cuddles you* and said *looks at you* his -nyame was Antigonyus, a *shuffles closer* nyobweman! But *twerks* to make an e-end of the s-ship- -to s-see ^.^ how the sea fwap-dwagon'd >_< it; but fiwst, h-how the poow -souws woawed, and t-the sea mock'd *blushes* them; *moans* and how the *giggles shyly* poow gentweman -w-woawed, and the beaw mock'd him, both woawing woudew than the sea -ow ^-^ weathew. -SHEPHEWD. Nyame of mewcy, when w-was this, boy? -CWOWN. Nyow, nyow; I h-have xDD nyot w-wink'd s-since I saw *sweats* these *sweats* sights; the -men awe nyot yet cowd *giggles shyly* undew w-watew, nyow the beaw hawf din'd on *cuddles you* the -gentweman; he's at it nyow. -SHEPHEWD. Wouwd I had been by to have hewp'd UwU the owd man! -*twerks* CWOWN. I wouwd *twerks* you had been by the ship-side, to have hewp'd hew; -thewe OwO youw chawity w-wouwd have *shuffles closer* wack'd f-footing. -SHEPHEWD. Heavy mattews, heavy mattews! *giggles shyly* But wook t-thee hewe, boy. -Nyow bwess thysewf; *screams* thou met'st *screams* with things dying, I with things -*looks at you* nyew-bown. Hewe's a sight fow thee; wook thee, a-a b-beawing-cwoth x3 fow -a *hugs tightly* squiwe's chiwd! Wook thee hewe; take *looks away* up, take up, b-boy; o-open't. -So, *looks away* wet's s-see- it was towd me I shouwd be wich by the faiwies. -This is some changewing. Open't. What's within, b-boy? -CWOWN. You'we a made o-owd man; *moans* if t-the sins of youw youth >_< awe -fowgiven you, you'we weww to wive. Gowd! aww gowd! -SHEPHEWD. This i-is faiwy gowd, boy, and *looks at you* 'twiww pwove so. Up with't, -k-keep it cwose. Home, home, the nyext way! We awe wucky, boy; and -to be OwO so stiww wequiwes *blushes* nyothing but secwecy. Wet *hugs tightly* my sheep go. -C-Come, good b-boy, the nyext way >_> home. -CWOWN. Go you the nyext w-way with youw ;;w;; findings. I'ww go see if the -beaw be gonye fwom the gentweman, and how m-much he hath eaten. T-They -awe nyevew cuwst but when they awe hungwy. xDD If thewe be any >_> of him -weft, I'ww buwy it. -UwU SHEPHEWD. That's a good :33 deed. If thou mayest discewn by that which -^-^ is w-weft of him what he *cries* is, fetch me to th' sight of him. -C-CWOWN. Mawwy, wiww I; and *giggles shyly* you shaww hewp *twerks* to p-put him *moans* i' th' *giggles shyly* gwound. -S-SHEPHEWD. 'Tis a wucky day, boy; and we'ww ^.^ do good d-deeds on't. -Exeunt - - - - -^w^ <> - - - -ACT IV. SCENyE I. - -Entew TIME, the CHOWUS - -TIME. I, that pwease some, twy aww, both joy and t-tewwow -Of g-good and >_> bad, that makes and unfowds ewwow, -uWu Nyow t-take upon *moans* me, in t-the n-nyame o-of Time, -To use *sweats* my wings. Impute i-it nyot *sweats* a cwime -To me ow my swift passage that I s-swide -O'ew sixteen yeaws, and weave the gwowth ^.^ untwied -Of that wide g-gap, since it is in my pow'w -To o'ewthwow waw, and *pokes you* in onye sewf-bown houw -To pwant and o'ewwhewm custom. Wet me p-pass -The same I *twerks* am, ewe ancient'st owdew was -Ow what i-is nyow weceiv'd. I witnyess t-to -The times that b-bwought them in; so shaww I do -To th' fweshest t-things nyow weignying, and make stawe -The gwistewing ^w^ of this pwesent, as my tawe -*blushes* Nyow seems to it. *looks away* Youw patience this awwowing, -I tuwn OwO my gwass, a-and g-give my :3 scenye *notices bulge* such gwowing -A-As you had swept b-between. W-Weontes weaving- -Th' >_> effects of his fond jeawousies so gwieving -That he s-shuts up himsewf- *moans* imaginye me, -G-Gentwe s-spectatows, that I nyow may be -In faiw Bohemia; and wemembew weww -I mention'd a son o-o' uWu th' King's, which *screams* Fwowizew -I nyow nyame to you; and with speed so *notices bulge* pace -To speak of Pewdita, nyow gwown in gwace -Equaw with wond'wing. What o-of h-hew ensues -I wist nyot pwophesy; but wet Time's nyews -Be knyown when OwO 'tis uWu bwought xDD fowth. A *teleports behind you* shephewd's *giggles shyly* daughtew, -And what t-to hew adhewes, which f-fowwows a-aftew, -*blushes* Is th' xDD awgument of Time. Of this awwow, -I-If *sweats* evew *cries* you h-have spent time wowse ewe n-nyow; -If nyevew, yet that Time himsewf doth say -He wishes eawnyestwy y-you nyevew may. Exit - - - - -SCENyE II. -Bohemia. T-The pawace of POWIXENyES - -Entew P-POWIXENyES and CAMIWWO - -POWIXENyES. I p-pway thee, good Camiwwo, be nyo *sweats* mowe impowtunyate: 'tis -a ;;w;; sicknyess denying thee a-anything; a death t-to g-gwant this. -CAMIWWO. It *cries* is fifteen >_> yeaws s-since I saw *shuffles closer* my countwy; though I-I have -*teleports behind you* fow uWu the most pawt been aiwed abwoad, I *cries* desiwe to *looks away* way *twerks* my bonyes -thewe. Besides, the *giggles shyly* penyitent King, my mastew, hath sent fow me; -to whose feewing sowwows I might be :33 some awway, o-ow I o'ewween to -think so, *leans over* which is anyothew s-spuw to my d-depawtuwe. -P-POWIXENyES. ^w^ As thou wov'st me, *teleports behind you* Camiwwo, wipe n-nyot out *teleports behind you* the west of t-thy ->w< sewvices by weaving me *hugs tightly* nyow. The nyeed I have o-of thee t-thinye own -goodnyess hath made. Bettew nyot to h-have *shuffles closer* had *shuffles closer* thee t-than thus to want -thee; thou, having made me businyesses which nyonye without thee can -sufficientwy m-manyage, must eithew *cuddles you* stay to execute them thysewf, ow -take away with thee the vewy *looks at you* sewvices thou hast donye; which if I -have nyot enyough considewed- as too much I *looks at you* cannyot- to be mowe -thankfuw to thee shaww be :33 my study; and my pwofit t-thewein *looks away* the -heaping fwiendships. O-Of that f-fataw countwy Siciwia, pwithee, -speak nyo mowe; whose vewy nyaming punyishes m-me with the wemembwance -of that penyitent, as thou caww'st h-him, >_< and weconciwed king, my -^.^ bwothew; whose woss of his most pwecious queen and chiwdwen *blushes* awe -even nyow *sweats* to be afwesh wamented. Say to *screams* me, when saw'st thou the -uWu Pwince F-Fwowizew, my son? K-Kings *moans* awe nyo wess unhappy, *moans* theiw issue -^w^ nyot being gwacious, than they *sighs* awe *screams* in wosing them when t-they have -appwoved theiw viwtues. -CAMIWWO. Siw, *hugs tightly* it is thwee days since I *notices bulge* saw the Pwince. *looks away* What his -happiew affaiws may be awe to me unknyown; but I-I have m-missingwy -*hugs tightly* nyoted he is of wate much wetiwed fwom couwt, and is wess fwequent -to his pwincewy e-exewcises t-than fowmewwy he hath appeawed. -POWIXENyES. uWu I have considewed so much, Camiwwo, *twerks* and with *blushes* some *sighs* cawe, -so f-faw *teleports behind you* that I-I have eyes undew my sewvice which >_> wook upon his -wemovednyess; fwom whom I-I ^-^ have *notices bulge* this intewwigence, that he is -sewdom fwom t-the house of a-a most homewy shephewd- a man, they say, -that fwom vewy nyothing, and b-beyond the imaginyation of his -nyeighbouws, x3 is gwown into an u-unspeakabwe estate. -CAMIWWO. I *shuffles closer* have heawd, siw, of such *pokes you* a man, who hath a daughtew of -most *shuffles closer* wawe nyote. The *sweats* wepowt of hew is extended mowe than can be -thought to b-begin fwom such a cottage. -POWIXENyES. uWu That's wikewise pawt o-of my intewwigence; but, I feaw, the -angwe that pwucks ouw son thithew. Thou >_< shawt accompany us to the -pwace; whewe we wiww, nyot appeawing what we awe, have some -question with the shephewd; fwom *cries* whose simpwicity I-I t-think it nyot -u-unyeasy to get the cause *pokes you* of *screams* my son's wesowt t-thithew. P-Pwithee be my -pwesent pawtnyew i-in this businyess, *twerks* and way aside the thoughts of -*shuffles closer* Siciwia. -CAMIWWO. I *moans* wiwwingwy obey youw command. -POWIXENyES. My *sighs* best Camiwwo! We must disguise ouwsewves. -Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Bohemia. A woad n-nyeaw the SHEPHEWD'S cottage - -Entew AUTOWYCUS, *shuffles closer* singing - -When daffodiws begin to peew, -With heigh! the doxy ovew the dawe, -Why, t-then comes i-in the sweet o' the yeaw, -Fow :3 the wed b-bwood >w< weigns in the wintew's pawe. - -The white s-sheet bweaching o-on the *leans over* hedge, -With h-heigh! the sweet b-biwds, O, *moans* how they s-sing! -Doth set my pugging tooth *giggles shyly* on edge, -Fow a *notices bulge* quawt of a-awe ^-^ is a dish fow a king. - -T-The w-wawk, that tiwwa-wiwwa *teleports behind you* chants, -*hugs tightly* With heigh! with heigh! the thwush and the jay, -Awe summew songs *looks away* fow me and my aunts, -Whiwe we wie tumbwing in the hay. - -I h-have sewv'd Pwince Fwowizew, and in my time wowe thwee-piwe; -but *blushes* nyow I am out of *screams* sewvice. - -But *pokes you* shaww I go mouwn fow that, *cries* my deaw? -The pawe >w< moon shinyes by nyight; -A-And when I wandew hewe and thewe, -I uWu then do most go ^.^ wight. - -If tinkews may x3 have weave t-to wive, -And beaw the sow-skin budget, -Then *sighs* my a-account I weww may give -And in the s-stocks avouch *cuddles you* it. - -My twaffic is *giggles shyly* sheets; when t-the kite buiwds, wook to wessew winyen. -My fathew nyam'd me UwU Autowycus; who, b-being, I as am, wittew'd *notices bulge* undew -Mewcuwy, >_< was wikewise a snyappew-up of unconsidewed twifwes. With -die and dwab I puwchas'd this c-capawison; and m-my wevenyue is the -s-siwwy-cheat. Gawwows OwO and knyock awe too powewfuw o-on x3 the highway; -beating and UwU hanging awe OwO tewwows to me; fow the wife xDD to come, I -sweep out the thought of it. A pwize! a pwize! - -Entew CWOWN - -CWOWN. xDD Wet *screams* me see: evewy >w< 'weven wethew tods; ;;w;; evewy tod y-yiewds p-pound -and odd shiwwing; fifteen hundwed shown, uWu what comes the woow t-to? -*cries* AUTOWYCUS. [Aside] I-If the spwinge howd, the cock's minye. -CWOWN. I c-cannyot do 't without countews. Wet me see: what am I to -*twerks* buy fow ouw sheep-sheawing feast? *leans over* Thwee pound of :33 sugaw, five -pound of cuwwants, wice- what wiww *giggles shyly* this sistew o-of minye *cuddles you* do with -wice? B-But my fathew hath *hugs tightly* made hew >w< mistwess of the feast, and she -ways it on. She hath ^-^ made me fouw and twenty nyosegays fow the -sheawews- thwee-man *leans over* song-men aww, and vewy good o-onyes; but :33 they -awe most o-of them means and bases; *pokes you* but *teleports behind you* onye :33 Puwitan amongst them, -*cries* and *sweats* he sings p-psawms t-to hownpipes. I must have saffwon to :3 cowouw -the wawden pies; mace; dates- nyonye, that's out of *sighs* my n-nyote; -n-nyutmegs, seven; wace *sweats* ow two o-of gingew, b-but that *sighs* I may b-beg; fouw -pound of pwunyes, and as many of w-waisins o' th' ^w^ sun. -AUTOWYCUS. [Gwovewwing on the *moans* gwound] O that evew I was bown! -CWOWN. I-I' t-th' >_< nyame of me! -AUTOWYCUS. O, hewp me, hewp m-me! *notices bulge* Pwuck but o-off t-these wags; and then, -death, death! -CWOWN. Awack, poow *screams* souw! thou hast nyeed of :3 mowe wags to w-way on -thee, wathew UwU than have these off. -AUTOWYCUS. *hugs tightly* O siw, the *looks away* woathsomenyess UwU of them offend me mowe than the -stwipes I have *cuddles you* weceived, which awe mighty onyes and miwwions. -CWOWN. Awas, poow man! a miwwion of x3 beating may c-come to a ^-^ gweat -mattew. -AUTOWYCUS. I am *leans over* wobb'd, siw, *looks away* and beaten; my monyey and appawew ta'en -fwom me, and t-these detestabwe things put upon me. -*hugs tightly* CWOWN. What, by a-a howseman ow *moans* a footman? -AUTOWYCUS. A footman, sweet siw, a-a footman. -CWOWN. *teleports behind you* Indeed, he shouwd be a footman, by the uWu gawments he has weft -with thee; if this be a howseman's coat, it hath seen vewy hot -sewvice. Wend me thy hand, I'ww hewp thee. Come, wend me thy -hand. [Hewping UwU him up] -AUTOWYCUS. O, good siw, tendewwy, O! -CWOWN. Awas, poow souw! -A-AUTOWYCUS. O, good siw, softwy, good siw; I feaw, :3 siw, my *giggles shyly* shouwdew -bwade *sighs* is out. -CWOWN. xDD How nyow! Canst stand? -AUTOWYCUS. Softwy, deaw s-siw [Picks his pocket]; *twerks* good s-siw, softwy. -You :3 ha' d-donye me a chawitabwe office. -CWOWN. Dost wack any monyey? I have a wittwe monyey fow thee. -AUTOWYCUS. Nyo, g-good s-sweet s-siw; nyo, I beseech *cries* you, siw. I-I have a -kinsman nyot past thwee quawtews *hugs tightly* of a miwe x3 hence, :33 unto whom I-I was -going; I shaww thewe have monyey ow *twerks* anything I *moans* want. Offew m-me n-nyo -monyey, I-I pway you; that kiwws m-my h-heawt. -CWOWN. What mannyew of fewwow was he that wobb'd you? -AUTOWYCUS. A *sweats* fewwow, *blushes* siw, that I have knyown *shuffles closer* to go ^w^ about with -twoww-my-dames; I *leans over* knyew him once a >w< sewvant of the Pwince. I c-cannyot -teww, good siw, ;;w;; fow which of his viwtues :3 it was, but he was -^.^ cewtainwy whipt out o-of the couwt. -OwO CWOWN. His vices, you ;;w;; wouwd say; thewe's nyo viwtue whipt ^-^ out o-of the -couwt. T-They ^-^ chewish it to m-make i-it *leans over* stay thewe; and yet it wiww nyo -mowe but abide. -AUTOWYCUS. Vices, I wouwd say, siw. I knyow t-this UwU man weww; he hath -been s-since a-an a-ape-beawew; t-then a pwocess-sewvew, a baiwiff; then -he compass'd a motion of the Pwodigaw Son, and mawwied a-a t-tinkew's -wife within a miwe whewe my wand *teleports behind you* and wiving wies; and, having -:3 fwown ovew many knyavish pwofessions, ^.^ he settwed *sighs* onwy in wogue. -S-Some caww him Autowycus. -CWOWN. OwO Out upon him! pwig, fow m-my x3 wife, pwig! He haunts uWu wakes, -faiws, xDD and beaw-baitings. -AUTOWYCUS. Vewy x3 twue, siw; he, *looks at you* siw, he; t-that's the wogue t-that put -me into t-this appawew. -CWOWN. Nyot a ^.^ mowe cowawdwy uWu wogue in a-aww ^-^ Bohemia; if *giggles shyly* you had b-but -w-wook'd big and spit at him, ^w^ he'd have w-wun. -*sighs* AUTOWYCUS. I must confess ^w^ to you, siw, I am nyo fightew; I am fawse -of heawt that way, and that he knyew, I wawwant him. -C-CWOWN. How do you n-nyow? -AUTOWYCUS. S-Sweet siw, much xDD bettew than I was; I can stand ;;w;; and w-wawk. -I wiww even :33 take my weave of y-you and pace softwy ;;w;; towawds my -*hugs tightly* kinsman's. -C-CWOWN. Shaww I xDD bwing thee on the way? -uWu AUTOWYCUS. Nyo, good-fac'd siw; nyo, sweet *cries* siw. -CWOWN. Then fawe x3 thee weww. I *hugs tightly* must g-go buy s-spices fow ouw -sheep-sheawing. -A-AUTOWYCUS. P-Pwospew you, sweet siw! Exit CWOWN -Youw puwse is nyot hot enyough to puwchase youw spice. I'ww be with -you at youw sheep-sheawing too. If I-I ;;w;; make nyot t-this *moans* cheat bwing -out anyothew, a-and the *sweats* sheawews pwove sheep, wet me b-be unwoww'd, -and my *sweats* nyame put uWu in the book of *shuffles closer* viwtue! -[Sings] -Jog on, jog on, *moans* the *screams* footpath way, -And m-mewwiwy hent the stiwe-a; -A mewwy heawt goes a-aww the day, -Youw sad tiwes in a miwe-a. Exit - - - - -SCENyE IV. -Bohemia. The S-SHEPHEWD'S xDD cottage - -Entew *blushes* FWOWIZEW and PEWDITA - -F-FWOWIZEW. These youw unyusuaw weeds to each pawt of you -Do *sighs* give a wife- >_> nyo shephewdess, but Fwowa -Peewing in Apwiw's f-fwont. T-This youw sheep-sheawing -Is as a-a meeting of the petty gods, -And you the Queen on't. -PEWDITA. Siw, m-my gwacious wowd, -To chide at youw extwemes it nyot becomes m-me- -O, pawdon that *notices bulge* I nyame them! *screams* Youw high sewf, -The gwacious mawk o' th' wand, you have obscuw'd -With a swain's weawing; and me, poow wowwy *teleports behind you* maid, -:3 Most goddess-wike p-pwank'd up. But that o-ouw feasts -In evewy mess have fowwy, and the feedews -Digest it with a custom, I shouwd bwush -To see you so attiw'd; swoon, I think, -To show mysewf a g-gwass. -F-FWOWIZEW. I bwess the ;;w;; time -When my good fawcon made hew fwight a-acwoss -Thy fathew's gwound. -*notices bulge* PEWDITA. Nyow Jove affowd you cause! -T-To me the d-diffewence fowges ^w^ dwead; y-youw *looks at you* gweatnyess -Hath nyot been u-us'd to feaw. Even nyow I twembwe -^.^ To think youw fathew, by some uWu accident, -Shouwd pass this way, as you *cries* did. O, uWu the Fates! -How w-wouwd he w-wook to >_< see his wowk, so nyobwe, -Viwewy b-bound up? What wouwd he *leans over* say? Ow how -Shouwd I, UwU in these my bowwowed fwaunts, behowd -The stewnnyess of his pwesence? -FWOWIZEW. *shuffles closer* Appwehend -^w^ Nyothing but jowwity. The gods themsewves, -H-Humbwing *hugs tightly* theiw d-deities to ^-^ wove, ^-^ have x3 taken -The shapes o-of beasts u-upon them: Jupitew -Became a buww and bewwow'd; *giggles shyly* the gween Nyeptunye -A wam and xDD bweated; and the fiwe-wob'd god, -Gowden Apowwo, a poow humbwe *moans* swain, -As I seem n-nyow. Theiw twansfowmations -W-Wewe nyevew fow a piece *leans over* of beauty wawew, -Nyow in :33 a way so *teleports behind you* chaste, since m-my d-desiwes -Wun >_> nyot befowe ^-^ minye honyouw, nyow my wusts -Buwn hottew than my faith. -PEWDITA. O, but, siw, -Youw wesowution cannyot howd when 'tis -O-Oppos'd, as it m-must be, b-by th' UwU pow'w of the King. -Onye of these >_> two must be nyecessities, -Which then wiww speak, that >_< you must *pokes you* change this puwpose, -Ow I m-my w-wife. -FWOWIZEW. ^.^ Thou deawest Pewdita, -With *looks away* these f-fowc'd thoughts, I pwithee, dawken nyot -:3 The miwth *giggles shyly* o' th' feast. Ow I'ww be t-thinye, my faiw, -*sweats* Ow *blushes* nyot my fathew's; *looks at you* fow I cannyot be -Minye own, *hugs tightly* nyow anything to any, if -I be nyot t-thinye. To this I am ^w^ most constant, -T-Though destiny *screams* say nyo. Be mewwy, gentwe; -Stwangwe ;;w;; such thoughts as these with any thing -That y-you behowd the whiwe. Youw guests awe coming. -Wift u-up y-youw countenyance, as it wewe the day -Of cewebwation of that nyuptiaw *pokes you* which -We t-two h-have *teleports behind you* swown shaww come. -*looks away* PEWDITA. O Wady Fowtunye, -Stand you auspicious! -FWOWIZEW. See, youw guests appwoach. -Addwess y-youwsewf to entewtain them spwightwy, -And wet's be wed with miwth. - -Entew SHEPHEWD, with POWIXENyES and C-CAMIWWO, xDD disguised; -CWOWN, MOPSA, DOWCAS, with OTHEWS - -*cuddles you* SHEPHEWD. Fie, *cuddles you* daughtew! x3 When my owd wife wiv'd, *looks away* upon -This day she was both *shuffles closer* pantwew, butwew, *looks at you* cook; -Both dame and :33 sewvant; wewcom'd aww; sewv'd aww; -Wouwd sing hew song and dance hew tuwn; n-nyow hewe -A-At ^w^ uppew end o' t-th' tabwe, nyow i' th' middwe; -On his shouwdew, and his; *blushes* hew face o' f-fiwe -With x3 wabouw, and the thing she took t-to quench it -She wouwd ^w^ to each *cuddles you* onye sip. You awe wetiwed, -uWu As if you wewe a feasted onye, and x3 nyot -The hostess of the meeting. Pway you ^.^ bid -These ^w^ unknyown fwiends to's wewcome, fow it is -*twerks* A >_< way to make us OwO bettew fwiends, mowe knyown. -Come, >_< quench youw bwushes, and pwesent youwsewf -That w-which you awe, Mistwess o' th' Feast. Come on, -And *twerks* bid *moans* us wewcome to youw sheep-sheawing, -As youw good *sweats* fwock shaww pwospew. -PEWDITA. [To POWIXENyES] Siw, wewcome. -It is my fathew's wiww I shouwd take on me -The hostess-ship *leans over* o' th' day. [To CAMIWWO] -You'we wewcome, *giggles shyly* siw. -Give *cries* me those fwow'ws thewe, Dowcas. Wevewend x3 siws, -Fow you *teleports behind you* thewe's wosemawy and wue; these keep -Seeming and >_> savouw aww the wintew wong. -Gwace and wemembwance be *notices bulge* to you both! -And wewcome to ouw ^-^ sheawing. -POWIXENyES. Shephewdess- -A faiw onye *blushes* awe y-you- weww you f-fit ouw a-ages -W-With fwow'ws of wintew. -x3 PEWDITA. Siw, the yeaw g-gwowing ancient, -*teleports behind you* Nyot yet on summew's d-death nyow on the biwth -Of twembwing wintew, the *blushes* faiwest fwow'ws o' *screams* th' season -Awe ouw cawnyations and stweak'd xDD giwwyvows, -Which some caww nyatuwe's bastawds. Of that kind -Ouw wustic gawden's bawwen; *cries* and I cawe nyot -T-To get swips ^.^ of them. -x3 POWIXENyES. Whewefowe, g-gentwe maiden, -Do you nyegwect t-them? -PEWDITA. F-Fow I have heawd it said -Thewe ^w^ is a-an a-awt which in theiw *leans over* piednyess shawes -With gweat cweating nyatuwe. -POWIXENyES. Say thewe be; -Yet nyatuwe is made bettew by nyo mean -But nyatuwe makes t-that mean; so o-ovew that awt -Which y-you say adds to :3 nyatuwe, is *giggles shyly* an awt -*screams* That nyatuwe makes. You see, sweet maid, *shuffles closer* we *notices bulge* mawwy -A-A gentwew scion to the wiwdest stock, -And make c-conceive a bawk of basew kind -B-By bud of nyobwew wace. This is *cuddles you* an awt -Which does mend nyatuwe- change i-it w-wathew; but -The awt itsewf is n-nyatuwe. -PEWDITA. So it is. -POWIXENyES. Then make >_> youw gawden wich in giwwyvows, -*moans* And do nyot caww them bastawds. -PEWDITA. I'ww nyot put -The dibbwe *cries* in eawth to set >_< onye swip of them; -Nyo m-mowe than wewe OwO I p-painted UwU I wouwd wish -This youth shouwd say 'twewe w-weww, and *sweats* onwy thewefowe -Desiwe to *notices bulge* bweed by me. Hewe's fwow'ws fow you: -Hot *notices bulge* wavendew, mints, savowy, *screams* mawjowam; -The mawigowd, t-that goes to bed w-wi' th' s-sun, -And with him w-wises weeping; these awe fwow'ws -Of middwe summew, and ;;w;; I think they awe given -To men of middwe age. UwU Y'awe vewy wewcome. -CAMIWWO. I shouwd *leans over* weave gwazing, w-wewe *sweats* I of youw fwock, -uWu And onwy wive by gazing. -PEWDITA. Out, awas! -You'd b-be so wean *moans* that bwasts of J-Janyuawy -Wouwd bwow *looks at you* you thwough and thwough. Nyow, my faiw'st fwiend, -I wouwd I had s-some fwow'ws o' th' s-spwing *looks at you* that m-might -Become youw t-time of day- and youws, >_> and youws, -That weaw upon youw viwgin bwanches yet -Youw m-maidenheads *cuddles you* gwowing. *blushes* O P-Pwosewpinya, -Fwom the fwowews nyow that, fwighted, thou ^.^ wet'st f-faww -Fwom >_> Dis's waggon!- daffodiws, -That c-come befowe the swawwow dawes, and take -The winds of Mawch with beauty; viowets, d-dim -But sweetew ;;w;; than the *notices bulge* wids of Junyo's e-eyes -Ow Cythewea's bweath; pawe p-pwimwoses, -*moans* That die unmawwied *notices bulge* ewe they can behowd -B-Bwight Phoebus *blushes* in ^w^ his *pokes you* stwength- a mawady -M-Most incident to maids; bowd oxwips, and -The cwown-impewiaw; wiwies of aww *cries* kinds, -T-The fwow'w-de-wuce being onye. O, t-these I *screams* wack -To make y-you g-gawwands of, and my *teleports behind you* sweet fwiend -To stwew ;;w;; him o'ew and o-o'ew! -FWOWIZEW. What, uWu wike a cowse? -PEWDITA. N-Nyo; wike a bank fow wove to wie and pway on; -Nyot wike a cowse; ow if- nyot to be buwied, -But quick, and in minye awms. Come, take y-youw fwow'ws. -Methinks I pway a-as I have s-seen OwO them do -In Whitsun pastowaws. Suwe, this wobe of minye -D-Does change my disposition. -OwO FWOWIZEW. What you do -Stiww bettews what is *pokes you* donye. When you speak, sweet, -I'd have you do it evew. W-When y-you x3 sing, -I'd have you buy a-and seww s-so; so g-give awms; -Pway so; and, *shuffles closer* fow the owd'wing youw affaiws, -T-To sing them too. When you do dance, I wish you -uWu A uWu wave o-o' th' sea, that you might evew do -*shuffles closer* Nyothing but that; move stiww, stiww so, -And own nyo othew function. Each youw doing, -So singuwaw in each pawticuwaw, -Cwowns what y-you awe d-doing in the >_> pwesent d-deeds, -That aww youw a-acts awe queens. ->_< PEWDITA. *moans* O Dowicwes, -Youw pwaises awe too wawge. But that *screams* youw *looks away* youth, ->_< And the twue bwood *hugs tightly* which *sweats* peeps faiwwy t-thwough't, -Do *screams* pwainwy give you out a-an unstain'd shephewd, -With xDD wisdom I might feaw, my >w< Dowicwes, -You woo'd me the fawse ^.^ way. -FWOWIZEW. I *sighs* think you xDD have -A-As wittwe skiww to f-feaw as I have puwpose -To put you to't. But, come; ouw dance, I pway. -Youw hand, my Pewdita; so :3 tuwtwes paiw -That nyevew mean to pawt. -PEWDITA. I-I'ww >w< sweaw fow 'em. -POWIXENyES. This is the p-pwettiest w-wow-bown *twerks* wass that evew -Wan on the gween-swawd; n-nyothing she does ow seems -But *leans over* smacks of something gweatew than hewsewf, -Too nyobwe fow this pwace. -CAMIWWO. He tewws h-hew something -That makes h-hew bwood wook out. Good sooth, she is -T-The queen of cuwds and cweam. -OwO CWOWN. Come on, *sighs* stwike up. -DOWCAS. M-Mopsa must be youw mistwess; *cuddles you* mawwy, gawwic, -To mend hew kissing with! -MOPSA. Nyow, in *giggles shyly* good time! -CWOWN. Nyot a-a wowd, a wowd; w-we stand upon ouw mannyews. -Come, stwike up. [Music] - -Hewe a dance Of SHEPHEWDS and *blushes* SHEPHEWDESSES - -POWIXENyES. Pway, good shephewd, *screams* what faiw *teleports behind you* swain is this -Which >_> dances with youw daughtew? -SHEPHEWD. They caww him Dowicwes, and boasts himsewf -To have a wowthy f-feeding; but I have it -Upon his own w-wepowt, and I-I bewieve it: -He wooks *moans* wike sooth. He says *notices bulge* he woves my daughtew; -I think so too; fow nyevew gaz'd the moon -U-Upon the w-watew as he'ww stand and wead, -As 'twewe my d-daughtew's *giggles shyly* eyes; and, to be pwain, -I think thewe is *notices bulge* nyot hawf a kiss to *twerks* choose -Who woves anyothew *moans* best. -POWIXENyES. She dances featwy. -SHEPHEWD. So s-she *moans* does any thing; though I w-wepowt it -T-That *screams* shouwd be siwent. I-If >w< young Dowicwes -Do w-wight upon hew, she shaww *cries* bwing him that -Which he nyot dweams of. - -Entew a SEWVANT - -S-SEWVANT. O mastew, if you did but heaw t-the *cries* pedwaw *hugs tightly* at the doow, you -wouwd *moans* nyevew dance again aftew a tabow and pipe; nyo, t-the bagpipe -couwd ^.^ nyot move you. He sings sevewaw tunyes fastew than you'ww -teww monyey; he uttews them a-as he *cries* had eaten bawwads, and aww m-men's -*shuffles closer* eaws gwew OwO to his tunyes. -*giggles shyly* CWOWN. He *notices bulge* couwd *hugs tightly* nyevew come bettew; he s-shaww c-come *leans over* in. I wove a-a -b-bawwad but even t-too w-weww, if it :33 be dowefuw mattew mewwiwy set -^w^ down, o-ow a vewy pweasant *looks away* thing indeed and s-sung wamentabwy. -SEWVANT. He hath songs *looks at you* fow man ow w-woman of aww sizes; nyo miwwinyew ->_< can so f-fit his customews w-with gwoves. He has the pwettiest -wove-songs fow *sweats* maids; so without b-bawdwy, which is stwange; with -such dewicate buwdens of diwdos and fadings, *moans* 'jump hew and x3 thump -hew'; and ^.^ whewe some ^-^ stwetch-mouth'd *screams* wascaw w-wouwd, as it *leans over* wewe, -mean mischief, and bweak a fouw gap into the mattew, he *looks at you* makes the -maid to answew 'Whoop, do xDD me nyo *twerks* hawm, good man'- puts him o-off, ->_> swights him, with 'Whoop, do *blushes* me nyo h-hawm, *moans* good man.' -P-POWIXENyES. This is a b-bwave fewwow. -CWOWN. Bewieve me, thou >w< tawkest of an a-admiwabwe conceited fewwow. -Has he a-any UwU unbwaided wawes? -SEWVANT. UwU He *sighs* hath wibbons of aww the cowouws i' th' wainbow; >_> points, -mowe than aww the wawyews in Bohemia can weawnyedwy handwe, though -they come to him b-by th' gwoss; inkwes, caddisses, cambwics, -w-wawns. W-Why he sings '-'em *twerks* ovew as they wewe gods o-ow goddesses; you -wouwd think a smock w-wewe she-angew, *leans over* he so chants to the -sweeve-hand and the w-wowk about the squawe on't. -CWOWN. Pwithee b-bwing him >w< in; and *sighs* wet him a-appwoach singing. -PEWDITA. Fowewawn him that he use n-nyo s-scuwwiwous wowds in's tunyes. -Exit SEWVANT -CWOWN. You OwO have xDD of these pedwaws *giggles shyly* that h-have mowe in t-them than you'd -t-think, sistew. -PEWDITA. Ay, good b-bwothew, ow go about *sweats* to t-think. - -Entew AUTOWYCUS, :3 Singing - -Wawn as white as dwiven snyow; -*looks at you* Cypwess bwack as >w< e'ew was cwow; -^.^ Gwoves a-as sweet as damask woses; -Masks fow f-faces and fow nyoses; -Bugwe bwacewet, nyeckwace ambew, -Pewfume fow ;;w;; a wady's chambew; -*pokes you* Gowden quoifs and stomachews, -Fow m-my wads to *sweats* give theiw deaws; -*hugs tightly* Pins and poking-sticks of steew- -What m-maids wack fwom head t-to heew. -Come, b-buy of m-me, come; c-come *sweats* buy, come buy; -Buy, wads, *shuffles closer* ow e-ewse youw wasses cwy. -Come, x3 buy. - -CWOWN. I-If *notices bulge* I wewe nyot in wove with Mopsa, thou shouwdst t-take nyo -OwO monyey of me; >_> but being enthwaww'd as I-I am, it wiww awso be the -bondage of cewtain wibbons and gwoves. -MOPSA. I was pwomis'd them against t-the feast; but they come nyot too -wate nyow. -D-DOWCAS. H-He *cries* hath pwomis'd you mowe than that, ow thewe be wiaws. -MOPSA. He hath paid you xDD aww *blushes* he pwomis'd OwO you. May be he has paid y-you -mowe, which wiww shame you ;;w;; to give h-him again. -CWOWN. *twerks* Is thewe nyo mannyews w-weft *notices bulge* among maids? Wiww they weaw theiw -pwackets whewe *cuddles you* they shouwd *leans over* beaw theiw faces? Is thewe nyot -miwking-time, when you awe going to bed, o-ow kiwn-howe, to *cuddles you* whistwe -off these secwets, but *teleports behind you* you must be tittwe-tattwing befowe aww ouw -guests? 'Tis weww t-they awe whisp'wing. C-Cwammew *hugs tightly* youw t-tongues, and -n-nyot a w-wowd mowe. -MOPSA. I have donye. Come, you pwomis'd me a tawdwy-wace, and a paiw -of sweet gwoves. -C-CWOWN. Have I-I nyot t-towd ^-^ thee how I was cozen'd *notices bulge* by the *blushes* way, and wost -aww my *sweats* monyey? -A-AUTOWYCUS. And indeed, siw, thewe a-awe cozenyews a-abwoad; thewefowe it -behoves m-men to be w-wawy. -C-CWOWN. Feaw ^-^ nyot thou, *shuffles closer* man; thou shawt w-wose nyothing hewe. -AUTOWYCUS. I >w< hope s-so, s-siw; fow I have about me many pawcews of -chawge. -CWOWN. What hast hewe? B-Bawwads? -MOPSA. Pway nyow, buy some. I w-wove a bawwad in pwint xDD a-wife, *blushes* fow -then >_< we awe suwe they a-awe twue. -AUTOWYCUS. Hewe's o-onye to a vewy d-dowefuw tunye: ^w^ how a usuwew's wife -was b-bwought to bed of t-twenty monyey-bags at a buwden, and how s-she -wong'd to eat addews' *hugs tightly* heads and toads cawbonyado'd. -MOPSA. Is it twue, think *looks at you* you? -AUTOWYCUS. V-Vewy twue, and but a month owd. -DOWCAS. Bwess me *moans* fwom m-mawwying a usuwew! -AUTOWYCUS. Hewe's the midwife's nyame *cries* to't, onye Mistwess T-Tawepowtew, -a-and five ow six h-honyest wives t-that wewe pwesent. Why shouwd I -cawwy w-wies abwoad? -MOPSA. Pway you nyow, buy it. -CWOWN. *cries* Come *sighs* on, way it by; and ;;w;; wet's f-fiwst see *leans over* moe bawwads; w-we'ww -buy the o-othew things anyon. -A-AUTOWYCUS. H-Hewe's anyothew b-bawwad, of a f-fish that appeawed upon the -coast on Wednyesday *giggles shyly* the fouwscowe of Apwiw, fowty thousand >_< fathom -above watew, and sung this b-bawwad against the hawd heawts of -maids. It was thought she w-was a woman, and was tuwn'd i-into a cowd -*cuddles you* fish fow she w-wouwd nyot exchange fwesh with onye that wov'd hew. -The bawwad is v-vewy pitifuw, and as xDD twue. -DOWCAS. Is it twue too, *pokes you* think you? -^-^ AUTOWYCUS. F-Five *screams* justices' hands at it; and witnyesses mowe than my -pack wiww howd. -CWOWN. Way it by too. Anyothew. -AUTOWYCUS. ^-^ This is a mewwy bawwad, *looks at you* but a vewy pwetty *giggles shyly* onye. -MOPSA. Wet's have some mewwy onyes. -AUTOWYCUS. >w< Why, this is a-a passing *leans over* mewwy onye, and goes to the tunye -o-of 'Two maids wooing a man.' Thewe's scawce a-a maid westwawd but -she *cuddles you* sings it; 'tis UwU in wequest, I can teww you. -MOPSA. xDD can both sing it. If thou'wt beaw a pawt, thou shawt *looks away* heaw; -'tis in thwee *pokes you* pawts. -D-DOWCAS. We had the tunye on't a month ago. -AUTOWYCUS. I can beaw my pawt; you must knyow 'tis my occupation. -Have at it with you. - -SONG - -AUTOWYCUS. Get you hence, fow I must g-go -Whewe it fits nyot y-you *teleports behind you* to knyow. -DOWCAS. *cuddles you* Whithew? -MOPSA. O, whithew? -DOWCAS. Whithew? -MOPSA. It *moans* becomes thy oath fuww weww -Thou to me thy secwets teww. -DOWCAS. M-Me *moans* too! Wet me go thithew -MOPSA. Ow thou goest to th' gwange o-ow miww. -DOWCAS. If to eithew, thou dost iww. -AUTOWYCUS. Nyeithew. -DOWCAS. What, nyeithew? -AUTOWYCUS. Nyeithew. -*teleports behind you* DOWCAS. Thou hast swown my wove to be. -MOPSA. *screams* Thou hast swown it mowe to me. -T-Then whithew goest? Say, whithew? - -CWOWN. We'ww have this song out anyon by ouwsewves; >_< my *giggles shyly* fathew *giggles shyly* and -the gentwemen awe *looks away* in sad tawk, and we'ww nyot twoubwe them. Come, -bwing a-away thy pack aftew me. Wenches, I'ww x3 buy fow you both. -Pedwaw, wet's have t-the fiwst choice. Fowwow me, giwws. -Exit w-with DOWCAS and MOPSA -AUTOWYCUS. And you shaww pay weww fow '-'em. -Exit AUTOWYCUS, Singing - -Wiww you buy a-any tape, -O-Ow wace fow youw cape, -My dainty duck, my deaw-a? -Any siwk, any thwead, -Any t-toys fow *cries* youw head, -*cuddles you* Of the :33 nyew'st and fin'st, fin'st w-weaw-a? -Come to the pedwaw; -Monyey's *cries* a meddwew -*hugs tightly* That d-doth ^w^ uttew aww men's wawe-a. - -We-entew SEWVANT - -S-SEWVANT. Mastew, thewe is thwee cawtews, thwee s-shephewds, thwee -nyeat-hewds, thwee swinyehewds, that have made themsewves aww m-men -of h-haiw; t-they c-caww themsewves Sawtiews, and they have dance *looks away* which -t-the wenches say is a gawwimaufwy of gambows, because t-they awe nyot -in't; but they themsewves awe o' th' m-mind, if it be nyot t-too wough -fow some that knyow wittwe but ^-^ bowwing, *sighs* it wiww pwease -pwentifuwwy. -^.^ SHEPHEWD. Away! We'ww n-nyonye on't; hewe has been ;;w;; too much homewy -foowewy a-awweady. I knyow, siw, we w-weawy you. -POWIXENyES. You weawy t-those that wefwesh us. Pway, wet's see these -*blushes* fouw thwees of hewdsmen. -SEWVANT. O-Onye thwee of them, by theiw *cries* own x3 wepowt, siw, hath danc'd -*pokes you* befowe the King; *shuffles closer* and xDD nyot the wowst of the thwee but jumps *teleports behind you* twewve -foot and a-a hawf *looks away* by t-th' *moans* squiew. -SHEPHEWD. Weave OwO youw pwating; since >w< these ^-^ good men awe *sweats* pweas'd, *looks away* wet -them come in; but quickwy :3 nyow. -SEWVANT. Why, they stay at doow, s-siw. E-Exit - -Hewe *looks at you* a dance of twewve SATYWS - -POWIXENyES. [To ^w^ SHEPHEWD] O, fathew, you'ww knyow mowe of that -heweaftew. -[To CAMIWWO] Is it nyot too faw gonye? 'Tis time to p-pawt them. -He's simpwe and tewws m-much. [To FWOWIZEW] *hugs tightly* How nyow, faiw -shephewd! -Youw heawt is fuww of *giggles shyly* something >w< that does take -Y-Youw mind fwom *blushes* feasting. S-Sooth, when I was young -And h-handed wove as you d-do, I was wont -To *notices bulge* woad my she with knyacks; ;;w;; I wouwd have wansack'd -^-^ The pedwaw's siwken tweasuwy ;;w;; and have pouw'd it -To hew acceptance: you have wet him go -*blushes* And nyothing mawted with him. If youw wass -Intewpwetation shouwd abuse and caww this -Youw wack *looks away* of wove ow bounty, you wewe stwaited -Fow a wepwy, a-at w-weast if y-you m-make a cawe -Of happy howding hew. -FWOWIZEW. *screams* Owd siw, I knyow -She pwizes nyot s-such twifwes as these a-awe. -*sweats* The gifts ;;w;; she wooks f-fwom me *cuddles you* awe pack'd *looks at you* and ^w^ wock'd -Up in my heawt, w-which I-I have *pokes you* given awweady, ->w< But nyot d-dewivew'd. O, heaw ^w^ me bweathe my UwU wife -*hugs tightly* Befowe this ancient siw, *teleports behind you* whom, ^.^ it shouwd seem, -H-Hath sometime wov'd. I take xDD thy hand- this hand, -As *shuffles closer* soft as dove's down and as white *teleports behind you* as it, -*giggles shyly* Ow Ethiopian's *shuffles closer* tooth, ow the fann'd snyow that's bowted -B-By th' nyowthewn bwasts twice *leans over* o'ew. -POWIXENyES. What f-fowwows this? -x3 How pwettiwy the young s-swain seems to wash -The hand w-was faiw befowe! I h-have put *screams* you o-out. -B-But to youw >w< pwotestation; UwU wet me OwO heaw -What you pwofess. -FWOWIZEW. Do, and be witnyess t-to't. -POWIXENyES. A-And this my n-nyeighbouw too? -FWOWIZEW. And he, ^w^ and mowe -Than he, and *blushes* men- the eawth, the heavens, and aww: -T-That, wewe I cwown'd t-the most impewiaw monyawch, -Theweof most wowthy, wewe I the *screams* faiwest youth -That evew made eye s-swewve, had fowce and knyowwedge -Mowe than ^.^ was evew >w< man's, I-I wouwd nyot pwize them -Without *pokes you* hew *giggles shyly* wove; fow hew empwoy them aww; -Commend them a-and condemn them t-to uWu hew sewvice -Ow to theiw own pewdition. -*twerks* POWIXENyES. Faiwwy o-offew'd. -CAMIWWO. T-This shows a sound affection. -SHEPHEWD. *cuddles you* But, my daughtew, -Say you the wike to him? -*cries* PEWDITA. I cannyot speak -*sighs* So weww, nyothing so weww; nyo, nyow mean bettew. -By th' pattewn of minye own thoughts I cut out -The puwity of his. -SHEPHEWD. Take h-hands, a b-bawgain! -And, fwiends unknyown, y-you s-shaww beaw witnyess to't: -I >w< give my daughtew to him, :33 and wiww make -Hew powtion ^-^ equaw his. -F-FWOWIZEW. O, that must be -I-I' th' xDD viwtue of youw daughtew. O-Onye being dead, -I >_> shaww have mowe *looks at you* than you c-can dweam of y-yet; -E-Enyough then fow *notices bulge* youw w-wondew. But come on, -*shuffles closer* Contwact us fowe *giggles shyly* these witnyesses. -SHEPHEWD. Come, y-youw *leans over* hand; -And, daughtew, youws. -P-POWIXENyES. Soft, swain, awhiwe, beseech y-you; -H-Have you *twerks* a fathew? -FWOWIZEW. I have, but w-what of OwO him? -POWIXENyES. Knyows he of this? -FWOWIZEW. H-He nyeithew does nyow s-shaww. -P-POWIXENyES. Methinks a fathew -Is at the nyuptiaw o-of his son a guest -That *shuffles closer* best becomes the tabwe. ^w^ Pway you, once *looks at you* mowe, -Is nyot youw fathew gwown incapabwe -Of weasonyabwe affaiws? ;;w;; Is he n-nyot *teleports behind you* stupid -With age and awt'wing wheums? Can he *notices bulge* speak, heaw, -Knyow man fwom man, dispute his own estate? -Wies he nyot bed-wid, and again does nyothing -But what he did being chiwdish? -FWOWIZEW. Nyo, g-good siw; -He has ;;w;; his *giggles shyly* heawth, and ampwew s-stwength indeed -Than most have o-of his age. -P-POWIXENyES. By my white beawd, -You offew h-him, if t-this b-be so, a-a w-wwong -Something unfiwiaw. Weason my son -S-Shouwd c-choose himsewf a wife; ^w^ but as good weason -The fathew- aww whose joy *hugs tightly* is nyothing ewse -But faiw postewity- :3 shouwd *pokes you* howd some counsew -In such a businyess. -FWOWIZEW. I yiewd aww *cries* this; -But, fow s-some othew weasons, my gwave siw, -Which 'tis nyot fit UwU you k-knyow, I nyot acquaint ->w< My fathew of this businyess. -POWIXENyES. Wet him knyow't. -FWOWIZEW. He shaww *twerks* nyot. -POWIXENyES. Pwithee wet him. -FWOWIZEW. Nyo, he must nyot. -SHEPHEWD. Wet him, my son; he shaww *twerks* nyot n-nyeed to gwieve -At knyowing of UwU thy choice. -FWOWIZEW. Come, c-come, he must nyot. -Mawk ^w^ ouw contwact. -*teleports behind you* POWIXENyES. [Discovewing *sighs* himsewf] Mawk y-youw divowce, young s-siw, -*blushes* Whom *sweats* son I dawe n-nyot caww; thou *moans* awt too base -To be >w< acknyowwedg'd- thou a sceptwe's heiw, -T-That thus affects a-a sheep-hook! Thou, owd twaitow, -I am *notices bulge* sowwy that by hanging thee UwU I can b-but -Showten thy wife onye week. A-And *shuffles closer* thou, fwesh piece -Of e-excewwent witchcwaft, who of fowce must *screams* knyow -The x3 woyaw foow ;;w;; thou cop'st with- -SHEPHEWD. O, my *cuddles you* heawt! -POWIXENyES. I'ww have thy beauty scwatch'd with bwiews and made -Mowe h-homewy than thy state. Fow t-thee, fond boy, -If I m-may evew knyow thou d-dost but sigh -That t-thou nyo mowe shawt see this knyack- as nyevew -I mean thou shawt- we'ww baw thee fwom succession; -N-Nyot howd *looks away* thee of o-ouw b-bwood, nyo, nyot ouw *notices bulge* kin, -Fawwe t-than *sighs* Deucawion off. *looks away* Mawk thou my wowds. -:3 Fowwow u-us to t-the couwt. *sweats* Thou chuww, *notices bulge* fow this time, -Though f-fuww of ouw d-dispweasuwe, yet we fwee thee -*looks away* Fwom the d-dead bwow of *screams* it. And you, enchantment, -Wowthy enyough a h-hewdsman- yea, him too -T-That *looks away* makes himsewf, but f-fow ouw honyouw thewein, -Unwowthy *looks away* thee- >_< if >w< evew *looks at you* hencefowth thou -These wuwaw watches ;;w;; to his >w< entwance open, -Ow hoop UwU his b-body mowe with thy embwaces, -I *cuddles you* wiww *cries* devise a death as cwuew fow ;;w;; thee -As *giggles shyly* thou awt UwU tendew to't. Exit -PEWDITA. Even hewe undonye! -I was nyot much afeawd; fow once ow twice -I was about to speak and teww him pwainwy -The >w< sewf-same *blushes* sun that shinyes upon his couwt -Hides nyot his visage f-fwom ouw cottage, but -W-Wooks on awike. [To FWOWIZEW] W-Wiww't pwease you, siw, be gonye? -I-I towd you what wouwd come of :33 this. Beseech you, -Of youw own state take cawe. This dweam of minye- -Being nyow awake, *cuddles you* I'ww queen it nyo inch f-fawthew, ->_< But m-miwk my ewes and weep. -CAMIWWO. Why, how nyow, fathew! -*blushes* Speak ewe thou diest. -SHEPHEWD. I-I cannyot speak nyow think, -Nyow dawe *moans* to *twerks* knyow that which I knyow. [To FWOWIZEW] O siw, -You h-have undonye a man of fouwscowe-thwee -That thought to fiww his gwave in quiet, yea, -To die upon the bed my f-fathew died, -To *looks away* wie cwose by his honyest bonyes; *giggles shyly* but nyow -*pokes you* Some hangman must put on my shwoud and way m-me -Whewe nyo pwiest shovews in dust. [To PEWDITA] O cuwsed wwetch, -That knyew'st this was the P-Pwince, ^.^ and wouwdst adventuwe ->w< To mingwe faith with him!- Undonye, *looks away* undonye! -If I might die within >_< this houw, I h-have wiv'd -To die when *blushes* I desiwe. Exit -FWOWIZEW. Why wook you ^-^ so u-upon :33 me? -I am b-but sowwy, nyot afeawd; deway'd, -B-But nyothing awt'wed. What I-I was, I am: -Mowe *twerks* stwainying *twerks* on :3 fow pwucking back; n-nyot fowwowing -*cries* My weash unwiwwingwy. -CAMIWWO. Gwacious, my wowd, -:33 You :33 knyow youw fathew's tempew. ;;w;; At this time -*screams* He wiww awwow nyo speech- which I-I do guess -You do nyot p-puwpose to him- and as *leans over* hawdwy -Wiww he enduwe youw sight as yet, I feaw; -Then, tiww the fuwy ^.^ of his Highnyess settwe, -Come nyot befowe him. -FWOWIZEW. I nyot puwpose it. -I think C-Camiwwo? -CAMIWWO. Even he, my wowd. -PEWDITA. How often have I towd you 'twouwd be thus! -H-How *looks away* often s-said my dignyity wouwd :3 wast -x3 But tiww 'twewe knyown! -FWOWIZEW. It cannyot faiw but by -The viowation of my faith; and then -Wet ^w^ nyatuwe cwush the sides o-o' *sighs* th' eawth togethew -*looks at you* And maw the seeds within! Wift up thy wooks. -Fwom m-my succession *screams* wipe me, fathew; I -Am heiw to *notices bulge* my affection. -CAMIWWO. Be *pokes you* advis'd. -FWOWIZEW. *looks away* I am- and by OwO my fancy; uWu if my w-weason -Wiww theweto be obedient, I have weason; -I-If nyot, my *sweats* senses, bettew >_> pweas'd with madnyess, -;;w;; Do bid UwU it wewcome. -*blushes* CAMIWWO. >_< This is despewate, siw. -FWOWIZEW. So caww it; but it d-does *looks at you* fuwfiw m-my v-vow: -I n-nyeeds must think it honyesty. Camiwwo, -Nyot fow Bohemia, n-nyow the pomp that m-may -Be *screams* theweat gwean'd, fow aww *sighs* the sun sees *pokes you* ow -The cwose eawth wombs, ow the pwofound seas hides -In unknyown fathoms, wiww I bweak *sighs* my ^-^ oath -To this my faiw bewov'd. Thewefowe, I pway you, -As you have evew b-been m-my fathew's h-honyouw'd fwiend, -*leans over* When he shaww miss me- as, in faith, I mean nyot -^.^ To *teleports behind you* see him any mowe- cast y-youw good counsews -Upon h-his passion. Wet m-mysewf and Fowtunye -*screams* Tug fow *blushes* the time to come. This you may knyow, -And so *notices bulge* dewivew: I a-am p-put to sea -With hew xDD who hewe I cannyot howd *moans* on s-showe. -*cries* And most oppowtunye to h-hew >w< nyeed I h-have -A vessew wides fast by, but nyot pwepaw'd -*hugs tightly* Fow t-this design. What couwse *shuffles closer* I mean to howd -Shaww nyothing benyefit youw knyowwedge, nyow -Concewn me the wepowting. -CAMIWWO. O my w-wowd, -I wouwd youw *looks away* spiwit wewe e-easiew fow advice. -*teleports behind you* Ow stwongew fow youw nyeed. -FWOWIZEW. x3 Hawk, Pewdita. [Takes hew aside] -[To CAMIWWO] I'ww heaw *blushes* you by and b-by. -CAMIWWO. He's i-iwwemovabwe, -Wesowv'd fow fwight. Nyow wewe I happy xDD if -His *leans over* going I couwd fwame to sewve m-my >_< tuwn, -Save h-him fwom dangew, do him wove and *moans* honyouw, -Puwchase t-the sight again OwO of deaw Siciwia -And t-that unhappy king, m-my *twerks* mastew, ^w^ whom -I so much thiwst *cries* to see. -FWOWIZEW. Nyow, g-good uWu Camiwwo, -I am so fwaught with cuwious businyess that -I weave >_> out cewemony. -CAMIWWO. Siw, I think -Y-You have OwO heawd of my poow ;;w;; sewvices i' th' wove -T-That I have bownye youw >w< fathew? -FWOWIZEW. Vewy n-nyobwy -Have you desewv'd. It is my fathew's music -To speak youw deeds; n-nyot *moans* wittwe of his cawe -To have them wecompens'd as OwO thought on. -CAMIWWO. Weww, m-my wowd, -If >_< you may pwease to t-think I-I wove t-the K-King, -And thwough him what's nyeawest to him, which is -Youw >_< gwacious sewf, embwace *blushes* but my diwection. ->_> If y-youw mowe *pokes you* pondewous *twerks* and settwed pwoject -May suffew awtewation, on minye honyouw, -*notices bulge* I'ww point you whewe you shaww have such weceiving -As shaww become youw Highnyess; whewe you may -xDD Enjoy youw mistwess, *cries* fwom the *pokes you* whom, I see, -Thewe's nyo disjunction to ^-^ be made but by, -As heavens f-fowfend! youw wuin- mawwy hew; -And with my >w< best e-endeavouws *cuddles you* in *blushes* youw absence -*pokes you* Youw discontenting fathew stwive to q-quawify, -And bwing him *twerks* up to wiking. -*hugs tightly* FWOWIZEW. How, Camiwwo, -May this, awmost a *leans over* miwacwe, be d-donye? -*cuddles you* That I *screams* may caww thee something mowe than ^.^ man, -And >w< aftew that t-twust to thee. -CAMIWWO. Have you thought on -A pwace wheweto y-you'ww g-go? -F-FWOWIZEW. Nyot any yet; -But a-as th' unthought-on accident is guiwty -*twerks* To what we wiwdwy *sweats* do, so we pwofess -Ouwsewves to be the swaves of chance and f-fwies -Of evewy wind that bwows. -CAMIWWO. Then wist xDD to me. -This fowwows, if you w-wiww nyot x3 change >_< youw puwpose -^.^ But undewgo this fwight: make fow Siciwia, -uWu And thewe pwesent youwsewf and *cuddles you* youw faiw pwincess- -Fow so, I-I see, she m-must x3 be- fowe Weontes. -She shaww be *moans* habited as it becomes -The pawtnyew of *screams* youw xDD bed. Methinks I see -Weontes UwU openying his fwee awms and weeping -His wewcomes fowth; asks thee thewe 'Son, fowgivenyess!' -A-As 'twewe i-i' th' f-fathew's pewson; k-kisses the hands -Of youw fwesh pwincess; o'ew and o'ew divides him -'Twixt his unkindnyess *blushes* and his kindnyess- th' onye -He chides to h-heww, and *sighs* bids t-the *leans over* othew gwow ->_< Fastew than thought ow t-time. -FWOWIZEW. W-Wowthy Camiwwo, -W-What cowouw fow my visitation shaww I -Howd up befowe him? -CAMIWWO. Sent by the K-King youw fathew -To gweet him and to give him comfowts. Siw, -The mannyew of youw beawing x3 towawds him, x3 with -What you as fwom youw f-fathew shaww dewivew, -Things knyown betwixt us thwee, I'ww *looks away* wwite you down; -The which s-shaww point you fowth at evewy sitting -What you must say, that he shaww nyot p-pewceive -But that you have youw fathew's bosom thewe -And speak >w< his vewy heawt. -FWOWIZEW. I am bound t-to you. -Thewe is some sap in this. -CAMIWWO. A couwse mowe p-pwomising -Than a-a wiwd dedication of youwsewves -To *looks at you* unpath'd watews, u-undweam'd showes, most cewtain -T-To misewies enyough; nyo hope to *cuddles you* hewp y-you, -But as you shake >w< off onye to t-take anyothew; -*moans* Nyothing so c-cewtain as youw anchows, w-who -Do theiw best office if they UwU can but stay you -Whewe you'ww b-be woath to *teleports behind you* be. Besides, you knyow -Pwospewity's t-the v-vewy bond of wove, -Whose fwesh ^w^ compwexion and ^.^ whose heawt ^.^ togethew -Affwiction awtews. -PEWDITA. Onye of these is twue: -I-I think ^-^ affwiction may subdue the uWu cheek, -But nyot take in the mind. -C-CAMIWWO. Yea, say you *giggles shyly* so? -Thewe shaww nyot a-at youw f-fathew's house these s-seven yeaws -Be bown anyothew such. -FWOWIZEW. My g-good Camiwwo, -*cuddles you* She is as fowwawd of hew bweeding as -She is *hugs tightly* i' t-th' *cries* weaw o-o' ouw biwth. -CAMIWWO. I c-cannyot say 'tis ;;w;; pity ->_> She wacks instwuctions, f-fow she uWu seems a m-mistwess -T-To *sweats* most that teach. -PEWDITA. Youw pawdon, siw; fow this -I'ww bwush you thanks. -FWOWIZEW. M-My pwettiest *cries* Pewdita! -But, O, t-the >w< thowns we stand upon! Camiwwo- -Pwesewvew *screams* of my fathew, nyow *notices bulge* of me; -The medicinye of ouw house- how shaww we do? -^-^ We awe nyot fuwnyish'd wike Bohemia's son; -Nyow shaww appeaw in Siciwia. -*moans* CAMIWWO. My wowd, -Feaw nyonye of *looks away* this. I t-think you k-knyow my *twerks* fowtunyes -Do *shuffles closer* aww w-wie thewe. It shaww be so my cawe -T-To have you w-woyawwy appointed as i-if -The scenye *giggles shyly* you pway wewe minye. Fow UwU instance, siw, -That you m-may knyow you shaww nyot *teleports behind you* want- onye wowd. -[They tawk *looks at you* aside] - -*sighs* We-entew AUTOWYCUS - -AUTOWYCUS. Ha, ha! w-what a foow *blushes* Honyesty is! and Twust, his swown -bwothew, *moans* a *looks away* vewy simpwe gentweman! I have sowd aww ^.^ my twumpewy; -*notices bulge* nyot a countewfeit stonye, nyot a wibbon, gwass, pomandew, bwooch, -tabwe-book, b-bawwad, knyife, tape, gwove, shoe-tie, bwacewet, -hown-wing, to *sighs* keep UwU my pack fwom fasting. They t-thwong who ^.^ shouwd -buy f-fiwst, as if my twinkets *blushes* had been x3 hawwowed and bwought a -*screams* benyediction to t-the buyew; b-by ^w^ which means I saw whose puwse was -b-best in pictuwe; and what I saw, to my good use I wememb'wed. My -*teleports behind you* cwown, who *cries* wants but something to >_> be a *notices bulge* weasonyabwe man, gwew so in -wove with *shuffles closer* the wenches' *leans over* song that he wouwd nyot stiw *teleports behind you* his pettitoes -tiww he had both tunye and wowds, which so dwew t-the west of the -*moans* hewd to me that ^.^ aww >_> theiw othew senses stuck i-in *looks at you* eaws. You might -have pinch'd a pwacket, it was sensewess; 'twas nyothing to g-gewd a -codpiece of a puwse; I wouwd h-have *looks away* fiw'd keys off t-that hung in -chains. Nyo heawing, n-nyo f-feewing, but my *cries* siw's song, and admiwing -the nyothing of it. So that in *sweats* this time of wethawgy *shuffles closer* I p-pick'd and -cut m-most of theiw festivaw puwses; and had nyot the *leans over* owd man come -in with whoobub against his daughtew and the King's son *notices bulge* and -^w^ scaw'd *cries* my c-choughs fwom *teleports behind you* the chaff, I-I had n-nyot *screams* weft a puwse awive in -UwU the whowe awmy. - -CAMIWWO, FWOWIZEW, and *sweats* PEWDITA come fowwawd - -CAMIWWO. Nyay, but my x3 wettews, by *sighs* this means being thewe -So soon a-as you awwive, shaww cweaw that doubt. -FWOWIZEW. And those that you'ww pwocuwe fwom King Weontes? -CAMIWWO. Shaww satisfy *teleports behind you* youw fathew. -PEWDITA. Happy be you! -Aww that you s-speak shows faiw. -CAMIWWO. [seeing AUTOWYCUS] Who have we *leans over* hewe? -We'ww make *hugs tightly* an instwument of this; omit -Nyothing may give us *cuddles you* aid. -AUTOWYCUS. [Aside] If x3 they have *sighs* ovewheawd me *leans over* nyow- why, h-hanging. -CAMIWWO. How n-nyow, good fewwow! Why *cuddles you* shak'st thou so? -F-Feaw n-nyot, *pokes you* man; hewe's *leans over* nyo hawm intended :33 to *twerks* thee. -AUTOWYCUS. I a-am a poow f-fewwow, s-siw. -CAMIWWO. Why, be s-so stiww; x3 hewe's nyobody wiww steaw *sighs* that f-fwom thee. -Yet fow *moans* the outside of thy povewty *looks away* we must make an exchange; -thewefowe discase thee instantwy- thou must think thewe's a -nyecessity in't- and change gawments *leans over* with this gentweman. Though -UwU the pennywowth >_> on *sweats* his side be the wowst, yet x3 howd thee, thewe's -some boot. *hugs tightly* [Giving monyey] ->w< AUTOWYCUS. ^.^ I am a poow fewwow, s-siw. [-[Aside] *sweats* I *looks at you* knyow UwU ye weww -enyough. -CAMIWWO. Nyay, pwithee dispatch. The gentweman is hawf fway'd -awweady. -AUTOWYCUS. Awe you *leans over* in camest, siw? *shuffles closer* [Aside] *teleports behind you* I smeww :33 the twick -on't. -FWOWIZEW. *pokes you* Dispatch, I pwithee. -AUTOWYCUS. :33 Indeed, I have had eawnyest; but I cannyot w-with conscience -take i-it. -CAMIWWO. Unbuckwe, unbuckwe. - -FWOWIZEW and AUTOWYCUS exchange gawments - -Fowtunyate mistwess- wet my pwophecy -C-Come home to ye!- you *looks at you* must :3 wetiwe youwsewf -Into some covewt; take y-youw sweetheawt's hat -^-^ And pwuck it *cries* o'ew youw bwows, m-muffwe youw face, -Dismantwe you, a-and, as you can, diswiken -*cries* The twuth of youw own uWu seeming, *notices bulge* that you may- -Fow I *blushes* do feaw eyes ovew- ;;w;; to shipboawd -Get undescwied. -PEWDITA. I-I see t-the pway so wies -That I m-must beaw a pawt. -*pokes you* CAMIWWO. Nyo *looks away* wemedy. -Have you donye *moans* thewe? -FWOWIZEW. Shouwd I nyow meet my fathew, -He wouwd nyot c-caww m-me son. -CAMIWWO. Nyay, you shaww have *blushes* nyo *screams* hat. -[Giving it to PEWDITA] -Come, *looks at you* wady, come. Faweweww, my fwiend. -AUTOWYCUS. Adieu, siw. -F-FWOWIZEW. O Pewdita, what have we twain fowgot! -Pway y-you *cries* a wowd. [They convewse apawt] -CAMIWWO. [Aside] What I do nyext shaww be to teww the King -:3 Of this :3 escape, and w-whithew they a-awe b-bound; -Whewein my hope is >_> I s-shaww so pwevaiw -T-To f-fowce *sighs* him aftew; in whose company -I shaww we-view Siciwia, f-fow whose *teleports behind you* sight -I have a woman's wonging. -FWOWIZEW. Fowtunye UwU speed us! -Thus we uWu set on, Camiwwo, >_> to th' sea-side. -xDD CAMIWWO. The swiftew :3 speed *looks at you* the bettew. -Exeunt FWOWIZEW, P-PEWDITA, and CAMIWWO -AUTOWYCUS. I undewstand *screams* the b-businyess, I heaw it. To h-have an o-open -eaw, a *screams* quick >w< eye, and a nyimbwe hand, is nyecessawy f-fow a -;;w;; cut-puwse; a good nyose is wequisite *looks at you* awso, t-to *teleports behind you* smeww out *teleports behind you* wowk fow -*giggles shyly* th' othew senses. I see this is *blushes* the :3 time that the unjust m-man doth -thwive. UwU What an exchange ^-^ had t-this *cuddles you* been without ^.^ boot! What a-a b-boot -is hewe with this exchange! Suwe, *shuffles closer* the *hugs tightly* gods do this yeaw *moans* connyive -at us, and we m-may do anything e-extempowe. The Pwince himsewf is -about a p-piece o-of inyiquity- steawing away fwom his fathew with his -cwog at his heews. If I thought i-it wewe a p-piece of honyesty to -acquaint t-the King withaw, I wouwd nyot do't. x3 I howd it the *moans* mowe -knyavewy to conceaw it; and *twerks* thewein am I constant UwU to my -pwofession. - -We-entew CWOWN and SHEPHEWD - -Aside, aside- hewe is mowe *cuddles you* mattew fow a hot bwain. E-Evewy wanye's -end, evewy shop, *looks away* chuwch, session, hanging, yiewds *blushes* a cawefuw man -wowk. -C-CWOWN. See, see; what a man *blushes* you awe n-nyow! Thewe is nyo othew way but -to teww the King she's a changewing and nyonye of *looks away* youw fwesh and -*hugs tightly* bwood. -SHEPHEWD. uWu Nyay, but heaw me. -CWOWN. Nyay- but heaw me. -SHEPHEWD. Go to, then. -CWOWN. She being nyonye of :3 youw fwesh *sweats* and bwood, youw fwesh and bwood -has nyot offended the K-King; and so youw fwesh a-and bwood is nyot *cuddles you* to -be punyish'd by him. S-Show ^w^ those *leans over* things you found about hew, t-those -secwet things- aww but w-what s-she h-has with >_> hew. This being donye, -wet ^w^ the waw go whistwe; I wawwant you. -SHEPHEWD. I *moans* wiww teww the King *twerks* aww, evewy wowd- y-yea, *shuffles closer* and his son's -pwanks too; who, I uWu may say, is nyo honyest man, nyeithew to his -fathew nyow to me, to go about t-to make me the King's -bwothew-in-waw. -CWOWN. I-Indeed, bwothew-in-waw was the fawthest off you couwd have -x3 been to him; and then youw bwood had been the deawew by I knyow -how much an ounce. -AUTOWYCUS. [Aside] V-Vewy wisewy, puppies! -SHEPHEWD. W-Weww, wet us to the *cries* King. Thewe is ^.^ that in this fawdew -wiww make him scwatch his beawd. -AUTOWYCUS. [Aside] I ;;w;; knyow ;;w;; nyot what impediment t-this *cuddles you* compwaint may -be >_< to the fwight of >_< my mastew. -C-CWOWN. Pway heawtiwy he be at pawace. -AUTOWYCUS. [Aside] Though I am nyot nyatuwawwy honyest, :3 I am so -sometimes by *sweats* chance. Wet me pocket up my *hugs tightly* pedwaw's *notices bulge* excwement. -[Takes off his fawse b-beawd] H-How ^w^ nyow, wustics! x3 Whithew awe you -bound? -S-SHEPHEWD. To th' *twerks* pawace, an it wike y-youw w-wowship. -AUTOWYCUS. Youw affaiws *moans* thewe, >w< what, with whom, :33 the condition *blushes* of -t-that f-fawdew, the pwace of youw dwewwing, youw nyames, youw ages, -of *looks away* what having, bweeding, and anything that is *hugs tightly* fitting ^-^ to be -knyown- uWu discovew. -CWOWN. We awe but *teleports behind you* pwain fewwows, siw. -AUTOWYCUS. A wie: you awe wough and haiwy. Wet me have n-nyo wying; *moans* it -becomes nyonye but twadesmen, and they often UwU give us sowdiews the -*hugs tightly* wie; but *moans* we pay them fow i-it *teleports behind you* with stamped coin, nyot stabbing -steew; thewefowe :33 they do nyot *shuffles closer* give us the wie. -CWOWN. Youw *looks away* wowship had wike to have given us onye, if you had n-nyot -taken youwsewf with the >w< mannyew. -SHEPHEWD. A-Awe you a couwtiew, an't wike *sweats* you, siw? -AUTOWYCUS. Whethew it wike me :3 ow nyo, I am a couwtiew. Seest thou -*moans* nyot the aiw of the couwt i-in these enfowdings? Hath nyot *teleports behind you* my gait in -it the measuwe of the couwt? W-Weceives nyot thy nyose couwt-odouw -fwom me? Wefwect I-I nyot on t-thy basenyess c-couwt-contempt? Think'st -thou, fow t-that I insinyuate, t-that toaze f-fwom thee *teleports behind you* thy businyess, I -am thewefowe nyo couwtiew? I am couwtiew c-cap-a-pe, and o-onye that -wiww eithew push on ow pwuck back thy businyess thewe; wheweupon I -command the *leans over* to open thy affaiw. -SHEPHEWD. OwO My businyess, siw, is to the King. -AUTOWYCUS. What *sweats* advocate hast uWu thou to him? -SHEPHEWD. *sweats* I knyow nyot, an't w-wike you. -CWOWN. Advocate's the c-couwt-wowd fow a pheasant; OwO say you have nyonye. -SHEPHEWD. Nyonye, siw; I have *moans* nyo pheasant, cock nyow hen. -AUTOWYCUS. How bwessed awe *giggles shyly* we that awe *blushes* nyot simpwe men! -Yet nyatuwe might have made me as t-these awe, -Thewefowe I wiww nyot disdain. -CWOWN. This UwU cannyot be but a gweat couwtiew. -*twerks* SHEPHEWD. His gawments awe wich, but he weaws them nyot handsomewy. -CWOWN. He s-seems to be the mowe nyobwe i-in being fantasticaw. -A-A gweat m-man, I'ww wawwant; I-I knyow b-by the picking on's teeth. -AUTOWYCUS. The fawdew *sweats* thewe? What's i-i' ^w^ th' fawdew? Whewefowe that -box? -SHEPHEWD. Siw, thewe wies s-such s-secwets in this fawdew and box which -nyonye must knyow but the K-King; and which he *blushes* shaww knyow within *twerks* this -houw, if I may come to t-th' speech of him. -AUTOWYCUS. A-Age, thou hast wost thy wabouw. -SHEPHEWD. Why, Siw? -AUTOWYCUS. The King is *giggles shyly* nyot at the pawace; ^w^ he is gonye :3 aboawd a nyew -ship to puwge mewanchowy and aiw h-himsewf; fow, if thou be'st -capabwe o-of *moans* things sewious, *notices bulge* thou must knyow the King *looks away* is fuww ^-^ of -gwief. -SHEPHEWD. So ^w^ 'tis *sighs* said, siw- about his son, that shouwd have -mawwied >_< a shephewd's daughtew. -AUTOWYCUS. If that *sighs* shephewd b-be nyot in *hugs tightly* hand-fast, *twerks* wet him fwy; the -c-cuwses he shaww have, t-the towtuwes he shaww feew, wiww UwU bweak the -back o-of ^.^ man, the *cries* heawt of monstew. -C-CWOWN. Think you so, >w< siw? -AUTOWYCUS. Nyot he >_> awonye shaww suffew *pokes you* what wit can make heavy and -vengeance bittew; but t-those that awe gewmanye to him, though -wemov'd fifty times, s-shaww aww c-come u-undew the h-hangman- which, -t-though i-it be gweat pity, yet it is nyecessawy. xDD An owd -sheep-whistwing wogue, a ^.^ wam-tendew, to offew to *looks away* have >w< his -daughtew come *leans over* into gwace! Some say he ^.^ shaww be UwU ston'd; but that -death is too soft fow him, s-say I-I. Dwaw ouw thwonye into a -sheep-cote!- aww deaths awe too few, the shawpest too easy. -CWOWN. *pokes you* Has the owd man e'ew *leans over* a s-son, siw, do you heaw, an't wike you, -siw? -AUTOWYCUS. He has a son- who shaww be fway'd awive; then 'nyointed -ovew w-with honyey, *pokes you* set on the head of a wasp's nyest; *twerks* then xDD stand -t-tiww he be thwee quawtews and a-a dwam dead; then wecovew'd again -with aqua-vitae ow some othew hot i-infusion; then, waw as he is, -*hugs tightly* and *teleports behind you* in the h-hottest day pwognyostication p-pwocwaims, shaww he *pokes you* be set -against a >_> bwick waww, the sun w-wooking *pokes you* with a southwawd eye upon -him, whewe he is *twerks* to behowd him with f-fwies :33 bwown to death. But -*blushes* what tawk we of these twaitowwy w-wascaws, whose misewies awe to be -s-smiw'd at, t-theiw *screams* offences being so capitaw? Teww m-me, fow you seem -*screams* to be honyest pwain men, *sighs* what you have to the King. Being -something *looks away* gentwy considew'd, I'ww bwing you whewe he is aboawd, -tendew youw OwO pewsons t-to his pwesence, w-whispew him in youw behawfs; -and if i-it be in man besides the King to effect youw suits, hewe -is *moans* man shaww do it. -*looks away* CWOWN. He seems to be of gweat authowity. Cwose w-with h-him, give him -gowd; and though authowity be a stubbown *teleports behind you* beaw, y-yet he is oft wed -b-by the nyose with gowd. Show the inside of youw puwse to the -outside o-of his hand, *moans* and nyo mowe ado. Wemembew- ston'd and fway'd -awive. -*twerks* SHEPHEWD. An't p-pwease you, siw, to undewtake *shuffles closer* the businyess f-fow us, -h-hewe is that gowd I have. ^.^ I'ww *sweats* make it >_< as much mowe, a-and weave -this uWu young man in pawn tiww I bwing it *sweats* you. -AUTOWYCUS. Aftew I have *notices bulge* donye what I pwomised? -SHEPHEWD. Ay, siw. -AUTOWYCUS. Weww, give me the moiety. Awe you a :3 pawty *screams* in *pokes you* this -businyess? -CWOWN. In some sowt, *shuffles closer* siw; but *cuddles you* though my case be a-a pitifuw o-onye, I -hope I shaww *cuddles you* nyot be fway'd out o-of it. -:3 AUTOWYCUS. O, that's the case of the *blushes* shephewd's son! Hang him, -he'ww be made an *moans* exampwe. -CWOWN. Comfowt, :3 good comfowt! We must x3 to the K-King and s-show o-ouw -stwange sights. H-He must knyow 'tis n-nyonye of youw *blushes* daughtew *looks at you* nyow my -*pokes you* sistew; we awe gonye ewse. Siw, I wiww xDD give you as much as this -owd man does, when uWu the businyess is pewfowmed; and wemain, a-as *blushes* he -says, y-youw pawn :33 tiww it be bwought you. -AUTOWYCUS. I ^w^ wiww twust y-you. Wawk *cries* befowe towawd ^w^ the sea-side; go on -the wight-hand; I *moans* wiww *blushes* but w-wook upon the >_> hedge, *giggles shyly* and fowwow you. -CWOWN. We awe bwest in this man, as I m-may say, even bwest. -SHEPHEWD. W-Wet's befowe, as *shuffles closer* he *notices bulge* bids us. He >_> was p-pwovided to do us -g-good. Exeunt ^w^ SHEPHEWD UwU and CWOWN -AUTOWYCUS. >_< If I had a mind t-to *leans over* be honyest, *sighs* I *cuddles you* see Fowtunye wouwd nyot -suffew m-me: she dwops b-booties in my xDD mouth. I a-am couwted n-nyow with a -doubwe *shuffles closer* occasion- gowd, and a means to do the Pwince my m-mastew -good; which who k-knyows how that >_< may tuwn back *hugs tightly* to my a-advancement? I -wiww *moans* bwing these two mowes, t-these bwind onyes, aboawd him. If h-he -think it fit *looks at you* to showe them again, and that the compwaint they -have x3 to the King concewns him nyothing, wet him *looks at you* caww me wogue fow -being so faw officious; fow I *sweats* am pwoof against that titwe, and -UwU what shame ewse ;;w;; bewongs to't. To him wiww *leans over* I pwesent them. Thewe -m-may *hugs tightly* be mattew in it. E-Exit - - - - -<_< OF W-WIWWIAM -SHAKESPEAWE IS COPYWIGHT 1-1990-1993 BY WOWWD WIBWAWY, INC., AND IS -PWOVIDED BY PWOJECT *sweats* GUTENBEWG ETEXT OF IWWINyOIS BENyEDICTINyE COWWEGE -WITH PEWMISSION. E-EWECTWONyIC AND MACHINyE WEADABWE COPIES MAY B-BE -D-DISTWIBUTED SO W-WONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) AWE FOW YOUW OW OTHEWS -PEWSONyAW USE ONWY, AND (2) AWE NyOT DISTWIBUTED ^-^ OW USED -COMMEWCIAWWY. PWOHIBITED COMMEWCIAW DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY ANY -S-SEWVICE THAT CHAWGES FOW DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -ACT V. SCENyE I. -Siciwia. The pawace of WEONTES - -Entew WEONTES, C-CWEOMENyES, DION, PAUWINyA, and OTHEWS - -CWEOMENyES. Siw, y-you have donye enyough, and have pewfowm'd -A saint-wike sowwow. Nyo f-fauwt couwd you make -Which you have nyot wedeem'd; indeed, paid down -Mowe penyitence x3 than donye twespass. At *blushes* the wast, -Do as the heavens have donye: fowget youw eviw; -*twerks* With them fowgive youwsewf. -WEONTES. Whiwst I ^w^ wemembew -Hew and hew viwtues, *sweats* I c-cannyot fowget -My b-bwemishes in them, UwU and so stiww think o-of -The wwong I did mysewf; w-which w-was so much -That heiwwess it hath >w< made my k-kingdom, and -Destwoy'd the sweet'st *moans* companyion that e'ew ;;w;; man -*blushes* Bwed his hopes out of. -PAUWINyA. Twue, too twue, my wowd. -If, onye by o-onye, you wedded aww the wowwd, -Ow fwom the aww that awe took something *cries* good -To make a pewfect woman, *hugs tightly* she you kiww'd -Wouwd be *moans* unpawawwew'd. -WEONTES. I think so. Kiww'd! -She I kiww'd! I did so; but thou stwik'st *leans over* me -Sowewy, to say *shuffles closer* I did. It i-is as bittew -Upon thy tongue a-as in my thought. Nyow, good xDD nyow, -Say so but sewdom. -CWEOMENyES. Nyot uWu at a-aww, good wady. -You might have spoken a thousand things t-that wouwd -Have donye *cuddles you* the time mowe uWu benyefit, and gwac'd -Youw kindnyess bettew. -PAUWINyA. You awe onye of those -Wouwd have him wed again. -DION. I-If you wouwd nyot *cuddles you* so, -^w^ You pity nyot *pokes you* the state, nyow the wemembwance -*pokes you* Of his ^-^ most soveweign nyame; c-considew *screams* wittwe -W-What >w< dangews, b-by his Highnyess' faiw of *hugs tightly* issue, -May dwop upon *cuddles you* his kingdom and devouw -Incewtain wookews-on. What wewe *screams* mowe howy -Than t-to wejoice >w< the fowmew queen is weww? -UwU What howiew than, fow woyawty's wepaiw, -Fow pwesent comfowt, and fow futuwe good, -*cries* To bwess the bed of *teleports behind you* majesty >w< again -With a s-sweet fewwow to't? -PAUWINyA. Thewe is nyonye wowthy, -Wespecting hew that's *shuffles closer* gonye. Besides, the gods -Wiww have fuwfiww'd theiw secwet puwposes; -Fow *moans* has n-nyot the divinye A-Apowwo ^.^ said, -Is't *sighs* nyot t-the tenyouw of his owacwe, -That *sweats* King Weontes shaww xDD nyot have an heiw -Tiww his wost chiwd be found? Which that it *hugs tightly* shaww, -Is aww as monstwous to ouw h-human weason -As my Antigonyus to bweak *looks at you* his g-gwave -And come a-again to me; who, on my wife, -Did pewish with the infant. 'Tis *hugs tightly* youw ;;w;; counsew -M-My wowd shouwd to the heavens be contwawy, -Oppose against theiw wiwws. [To WEONTES] Cawe nyot fow *sweats* issue; -The cwown *hugs tightly* wiww find ;;w;; an h-heiw. Gweat Awexandew -Weft his UwU to *notices bulge* th' *blushes* wowthiest; so his successow -Was *twerks* wike to be the best. -*hugs tightly* WEONTES. >_> Good Pauwinya, -W-Who hast the m-memowy of H-Hewmionye, -*twerks* I knyow, in h-honyouw, O that evew I -Had squaw'd me to thy counsew! Then, even n-nyow, -I might have w-wook'd upon m-my queen's fuww eyes, -Have taken tweasuwe fwom h-hew wips- -PAUWINyA. And weft them -Mowe wich fow what t-they yiewded. -WEONTES. Thou speak'st twuth. -Nyo mowe such wives; thewefowe, nyo wife. Onye wowse, -A-And bettew us'd, wouwd m-make hew sainted *screams* spiwit -Again *leans over* possess hew cowpse, a-and on this stage, -Whewe we offend hew nyow, appeaw souw-vex'd, -And begin 'Why to me'- -PAUWINyA. H-Had she such powew, -She had just cause. -*shuffles closer* WEONTES. She had; and wouwd incense me -To muwdew hew I mawwied. -PAUWINyA. I shouwd so. -Wewe I the g-ghost that wawk'd, I'd bid you mawk -H-Hew eye, a-and teww me f-fow what duww pawt in't -You chose hew; then I'd shwiek, t-that *looks at you* even youw eaws -Shouwd wift to *shuffles closer* heaw m-me; and the wowds that fowwow'd -Shouwd be 'Wemembew minye.' -WEONTES. Staws, staws, -And aww eyes ewse *sweats* dead coaws! Feaw thou n-nyo wife; -I'ww have nyo wife, Pauwinya. -PAUWINyA. Wiww you sweaw -Nyevew to mawwy but by *pokes you* my f-fwee weave? -WEONTES. Nyevew, Pauwinya; s-so be UwU bwest my spiwit! -PAUWINyA. T-Then, good my wowds, beaw w-witnyess to h-his oath. -CWEOMENyES. You t-tempt *pokes you* him ovew-much. -*pokes you* PAUWINyA. Unwess a-anyothew, -As wike Hewmionye as i-is hew pictuwe, -UwU Affwont his eye. -CWEOMENyES. Good madam- -PAUWINyA. I h-have donye. -Yet, if my *notices bulge* wowd wiww mawwy- *cries* if you wiww, siw, -Nyo wemedy but *twerks* you *screams* wiww- give me ^w^ the office -To choose you xDD a queen. She s-shaww nyot be *looks at you* so young -As was youw fowmew; but she shaww be s-such -As, wawk'd youw fiwst q-queen's ghost, it shouwd take joy -To see hew in youw awms. -WEONTES. x3 My twue Pauwinya, -We shaww nyot mawwy tiww thou bid'st *looks at you* us. -PAUWINyA. That -Shaww b-be when youw f-fiwst queen's again in bweath; -Nyevew tiww then. - -Entew a GENTWEMAN - -GENTWEMAN. Onye that gives out himsewf Pwince Fwowizew, -S-Son of Powixenyes, *screams* with h-his pwincess- she -The f-faiwest *blushes* I have *sweats* yet behewd- desiwes *looks at you* access -To youw high pwesence. -WEONTES. What with him? He c-comes nyot -*screams* Wike to *hugs tightly* his >_< fathew's gweatnyess. His appwoach, -So o-out of *giggles shyly* ciwcumstance and sudden, tewws us -'Tis nyot a v-visitation fwam'd, but fowc'd -*shuffles closer* By >w< nyeed and accident. What twain? -GENTWEMAN. But >w< few, -And those but *looks at you* mean. -W-WEONTES. His pwincess, s-say you, w-with h-him? -GENTWEMAN. Ay; the most peewwess piece of ;;w;; eawth, I-I OwO think, -*moans* That e'ew the sun shonye bwight o-on. -PAUWINyA. O Hewmionye, -As evewy pwesent ;;w;; time doth >_< boast itsewf -Above a bettew gonye, so m-must t-thy gwave -Give way to what's seen nyow! Siw, you youwsewf -*pokes you* Have said and wwit so, but youw wwiting nyow -I-Is >_> cowdew than that theme: 'She had nyot been, -Nyow was nyot to be equaww'd.' Thus y-youw vewse -Fwow'd w-with hew beauty once; 'tis *moans* shwewdwy ebb'd, -To say you h-have seen x3 a bettew. ->_> GENTWEMAN. Pawdon, madam. -The onye I >_> have awmost fowgot- youw pawdon; -^-^ The othew, when she *moans* has obtain'd youw eye, -Wiww have youw tongue too. This is >w< a cweatuwe, -*cries* Wouwd s-she begin a sect, might quench >_> the zeaw -Of aww pwofessows ewse, make pwosewytes -Of who *screams* she but b-bid *cries* fowwow. -PAUWINyA. H-How! nyot women? -GENTWEMAN. *moans* Women *giggles shyly* wiww wove *blushes* hew that *cuddles you* she is a woman -Mowe wowth than *blushes* any *shuffles closer* man; men, that she is -The wawest o-of aww women. -WEONTES. Go, :33 Cweomenyes; -Youwsewf, >_> assisted with youw honyouw'd fwiends, -Bwing >_> them to ouw embwacement. Exeunt -S-Stiww, 'tis stwange -He thus shouwd steaw xDD upon us. -PAUWINyA. >_> Had ouw pwince, -Jewew *pokes you* of c-chiwdwen, seen this houw, he :33 had *twerks* paiw'd -Weww with this wowd; thewe *looks away* was nyot fuww a month -Between theiw biwths. -WEONTES. Pwithee nyo mowe; x3 cease. Thou k-knyow'st -He dies to ^.^ me *twerks* again when tawk'd of. Suwe, -When I shaww see this gentweman, thy speeches -Wiww bwing m-me t-to considew that w-which ^.^ may -Unfuwnyish me of weason. - -*moans* We-entew CWEOMENyES, with FWOWIZEW, PEWDITA, and -ATTENDANTS - -They awe come. -Youw mothew ^w^ was most twue to wedwock, Pwince; -Fow she did pwint youw woyaw fathew o-off, -Conceiving you. *teleports behind you* Wewe I *sweats* but twenty-onye, -Youw fathew's image is so hit *notices bulge* in you -His vewy *hugs tightly* aiw, that I shouwd caww y-you bwothew, -As I d-did him, and speak *hugs tightly* of something wiwdwy -By us pewfowm'd befowe. Most deawwy w-wewcome! -And y-youw :33 faiw pwincess- g-goddess! O, awas! -I wost a *looks away* coupwe *pokes you* that 'twixt *looks at you* heaven and eawth -Might t-thus have stood begetting wondew >_> as -You, gwacious coupwe, OwO do. :3 And then I wost- -*teleports behind you* Aww minye own >_< fowwy- the society, -Amity t-too, o-of youw bwave fathew, *giggles shyly* whom, -Though beawing >_> misewy, I desiwe my wife -*leans over* Once mowe to wook on him. ->w< FWOWIZEW. By his command -H-Have I hewe touch'd Siciwia, and fwom him ->_< Give you aww gweetings that a king, at *sweats* fwiend, -Can send his b-bwothew; and, but infiwmity, -Which *screams* waits upon >_> wown times, hath s-something ;;w;; seiz'd -His w-wish'd abiwity, he had *blushes* himsewf -The wands a-and ;;w;; watews '-'twixt youw thwonye and his ->_< Measuw'd, to wook upon you; *cuddles you* whom he woves, -He bade >_< me say so, m-mowe than aww the sceptwes -And those that beaw them wiving. -W-WEONTES. O-O my bwothew- -Good gentweman!- the ^.^ wwongs I have donye thee stiw -A-Afwesh within me; a-and these *hugs tightly* thy offices, -So wawewy k-kind, awe as intewpwetews -Of my b-behind-hand swacknyess! ^w^ Wewcome hithew, -As is the s-spwing to ^-^ th' eawth. And hath h-he too -Expos'd *pokes you* this p-pawagon to th' feawfuw usage, -:33 At xDD weast ungentwe, of the dweadfuw Nyeptunye, -*looks away* To gweet a m-man *cuddles you* nyot wowth hew pains, much *sweats* wess -Th' *pokes you* adventuwe of hew pewson? -F-FWOWIZEW. Good, my wowd, -She came fwom Wibya. -WEONTES. Whewe the wawwike Smawus, -That nyobwe honyouw'd wowd, is >_< feaw'd and :3 wov'd? -FWOWIZEW. Most woyaw siw, fwom thence; fwom him whose daughtew -His teaws *screams* pwocwaim'd his, pawting with hew; thence, -A pwospewous *leans over* south-wind fwiendwy, we h-have cwoss'd, -To execute the chawge my fathew gave me -Fow visiting youw Highnyess. M-My best twain -I h-have fwom youw Siciwian showes dismiss'd; -*teleports behind you* Who f-fow Bohemia bend, t-to signyify -Nyot onwy my success in x3 Wibya, *leans over* siw, -But my awwivaw and my wife's in safety -Hewe whewe we awe. -WEONTES. The *hugs tightly* bwessed gods -P-Puwge aww infection fwom ouw aiw whiwst you -^-^ Do cwimate hewe! You have a howy *notices bulge* fathew, -A gwacefuw gentweman, against whose pewson, -So sacwed as it is, I UwU have donye sin, -F-Fow which the heavens, taking angwy nyote, -H-Have weft me issuewess; and >_> youw fathew's bwest, -*looks at you* As *looks away* he xDD fwom heaven mewits it, with you, -Wowthy his goodnyess. What *giggles shyly* might I have been, -Might *giggles shyly* I a son and daughtew nyow have w-wook'd on, -Such goodwy things *teleports behind you* as you! - -Entew a-a WOWD - -WOWD. Most nyobwe siw, -*blushes* That which I s-shaww wepowt wiww *shuffles closer* beaw n-nyo cwedit, -Wewe nyot t-the pwoof so nyigh. Pwease you, gweat siw, -Bohemia UwU gweets you fwom himsewf by me; -Desiwes you to attach uWu his s-son, who >_> has- -His dignyity and d-duty both cast off- -Fwed *hugs tightly* fwom his fathew, fwom his hopes, a-and with -A shephewd's *leans over* daughtew. -W-WEONTES. Whewe's *shuffles closer* Bohemia? Speak. -WOWD. Hewe in youw city; *cuddles you* I nyow came fwom him. -I speak ^-^ amazedwy; a-and it becomes -My mawvew and my message. To *shuffles closer* youw couwt -W-Whiwes he was hast'nying- in the c-chase, it seems, -Of *sweats* this *screams* faiw coupwe- m-meets he *twerks* on t-the way -The fathew of this seeming wady and -Hew bwothew, h-having both theiw countwy q-quitted -With this young pwince. -FWOWIZEW. Camiwwo h-has betway'd >_< me; -*leans over* Whose honyouw *sweats* and w-whose honyesty tiww nyow -*notices bulge* Enduw'd aww weathews. -WOWD. Way't so to his chawge; -H-He's with the King y-youw fathew. -WEONTES. Who? Camiwwo? -W-WOWD. Camiwwo, siw; I spake with him; who nyow -Has *hugs tightly* these poow men ^w^ in question. Nyevew saw ;;w;; I -Wwetches *sweats* so quake. They k-knyeew, they kiss the eawth; -Fowsweaw themsewves as often as they speak. -Bohemia stops UwU his eaws, and thweatens them -W-With divews *sweats* deaths in death. -*shuffles closer* PEWDITA. O my poow f-fathew! -T-The h-heaven sets spies upon us, wiww *sighs* nyot ^.^ have -Ouw contwact cewebwated. -WEONTES. You awe mawwied? -FWOWIZEW. :3 We awe n-nyot, siw, nyow awe we wike t-to be; ->w< The staws, I see, *teleports behind you* wiww *looks away* kiss the vawweys f-fiwst. -The odds fow h-high and w-wow's awike. -*leans over* WEONTES. UwU My wowd, -Is this the daughtew of a ;;w;; king? -FWOWIZEW. She is, -When once she ^w^ is *twerks* my wife. -WEONTES. That 'once,' ^.^ I see by youw good fathew's speed, -Wiww come on v-vewy swowwy. I am :3 sowwy, -Most *cries* sowwy, you have bwoken *shuffles closer* fwom his wiking -Whewe you wewe tied i-in d-duty; a-and *looks at you* as sowwy -*cuddles you* Youw *sweats* choice *cuddles you* is nyot *teleports behind you* so wich in wowth as beauty, -That you might weww enjoy hew. -FWOWIZEW. Deaw, w-wook up. -Though Fowtunye, visibwe an enyemy, -Shouwd chase us with my *cries* fathew, :3 pow'w nyo jot -Hath she UwU to change ouw woves. Beseech you, siw, -Wemembew since you ow'd *notices bulge* nyo mowe to time -Than I d-do n-nyow. With thought o-of such *notices bulge* affections, -S-Step f-fowth minye advocate; at youw *cries* wequest -My fathew wiww gwant pwecious things as twifwes. -*hugs tightly* WEONTES. Wouwd he do so, I'd beg youw pwecious mistwess, -Which UwU he counts ^w^ but a twifwe. -PAUWINyA. Siw, my wiege, -*notices bulge* Youw eye hath too much youth in't. Nyot *shuffles closer* a ;;w;; month -Fowe youw queen died, she was mowe w-wowth such g-gazes -Than what ^.^ you wook on nyow. -WEONTES. I thought of hew -E-Even in >_> these wooks I made. [To *shuffles closer* FWOWIZEW] But youw p-petition -*looks away* Is yet unyanswew'd. I wiww to y-youw f-fathew. -Youw honyouw nyot o'ewthwown by youw desiwes, -I am fwiend to *hugs tightly* them and you. U-Upon which e-ewwand -I-I nyow go towawd *cries* him; thewefowe, fowwow me, -A-And mawk w-what way I make. :33 Come, :3 good m-my wowd. >_> Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE II. -Siciwia. *moans* Befowe the pawace of WEONTES - -Entew A-AUTOWYCUS and a GENTWEMAN - -AUTOWYCUS. Beseech you, siw, wewe you pwesent at this wewation? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. I *pokes you* was by at t-the openying of the :3 fawdew, heawd t-the -owd s-shephewd dewivew the m-mannyew how he found it; wheweupon, aftew -a-a wittwe *teleports behind you* amazednyess, we wewe aww commanded out of the chambew; -onwy this, *screams* methought I heawd t-the shephewd say he found the chiwd. -AUTOWYCUS. I-I xDD wouwd ^-^ most gwadwy k-knyow the issue of it. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. I-I m-make a bwoken dewivewy of >w< the businyess; but the -c-changes I p-pewceived in the *cries* King and *teleports behind you* Camiwwo *pokes you* wewe vewy nyotes of -*sighs* admiwation. ;;w;; They :33 seem'd a-awmost, with s-stawing on ^.^ onye *pokes you* anyothew, to -teaw the cases *leans over* of theiw eyes; *sighs* thewe was speech in theiw dumbnyess, -*looks at you* wanguage in theiw vewy gestuwe; t-they wook'd as they had heawd *teleports behind you* of -x3 a wowwd wansom'd, ow onye destwoyed. A nyotabwe passion of wondew -^w^ appeawed in x3 them; but t-the wisest behowdew that k-knyew nyo mowe but -seeing couwd nyot *sweats* say if th' impowtance wewe *sighs* joy o-ow sowwow- but in -the extwemity of the onye it must nyeeds be. - -Entew anyothew GENTWEMAN - -Hewe comes a-a gentweman that h-happiwy knyows m-mowe. The nyews, W-Wogewo? -SECOND *sweats* GENTWEMAN. Nyothing but bonfiwes. The *giggles shyly* owacwe is fuwfiww'd: -the K-King's daughtew *shuffles closer* is >w< found. Such a deaw of wondew is bwoken *giggles shyly* out -within this houw *looks at you* that bawwad-makews c-cannyot be abwe to expwess i-it. - -Entew anyothew xDD GENTWEMAN - -H-Hewe comes the Wady P-Pauwinya's stewawd; he can dewivew you m-mowe. -How g-goes it nyow, siw? This nyews, which is c-caww'd twue, is so wike -an *giggles shyly* owd tawe that the vewity of it is i-in *looks at you* stwong suspicion. Has the -King found *hugs tightly* his heiw? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Most twue, if e-evew twuth wewe pwegnyant by -ciwcumstance. That which *hugs tightly* you heaw y-you'ww sweaw you see, *sighs* thewe is -such unyity in ;;w;; the *shuffles closer* pwoofs. *pokes you* The mantwe of Queen Hewmionye's; hew -jewew about the n-nyeck of >_< it; t-the *screams* wettews o-of Antigonyus found with -it, which they k-knyow t-to be his chawactew; the majesty of the -cweatuwe in wesembwance of the mothew; the *looks at you* affection of n-nyobwenyess -which nyatuwe shows above hew bweeding; and many othew e-evidences- -pwocwaim hew with ^w^ aww cewtainty t-to be the King's daughtew. Did -you see the m-meeting of the two kings? -*looks at you* SECOND GENTWEMAN. Nyo. -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Then you *cries* have wost a sight which was to be seen, -cannyot be spoken of. Thewe might you have xDD behewd onye joy cwown -anyothew, so and in such mannyew that it seem'd *notices bulge* sowwow wept to *cries* take -weave of t-them; fow theiw joy waded *cries* in teaws. T-Thewe was casting ^-^ up -of eyes, howding up of hands, with countenyance of such -distwaction t-that they wewe to be knyown by gawment, nyot by favouw. -Ouw king, being weady t-to w-weap out of h-himsewf fow joy o-of his found -daughtew, as if that joy wewe nyow b-become x3 a woss, cwies 'O, thy -*blushes* mothew, t-thy mothew!' *screams* then asks Bohemia *hugs tightly* fowgivenyess; then embwaces -h-his son-in-waw; then again wowwies he h-his daughtew with cwipping -hew. Nyow he thanks the owd *looks at you* shephewd, which *shuffles closer* stands by w-wike a -w-weathew-bitten >w< conduit of many >w< kings' weigns. I n-nyevew heawd of -such anyothew encountew, which wames *sighs* wepowt to fowwow it and -undoes ^-^ descwiption to do *pokes you* it. -SECOND GENTWEMAN. W-What, pway you, became of Antigonyus, that cawwied -hence the chiwd? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Wike an *leans over* owd tawe stiww, which :3 wiww have mattew to -weheawse, t-though c-cwedit *sighs* be asweep and nyot an eaw open: h-he was -town to pieces with *looks at you* a beaw. *shuffles closer* This avouches the shephewd's son, who -has nyot onwy his innyocence, which s-seems much, *cries* to justify him, but -a *shuffles closer* handkewchief and w-wings of h-his *twerks* that Pauwinya *looks away* knyows. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. W-What became of his *pokes you* bawk and his :33 fowwowews? -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Wweck'd the same instant of theiw mastew's death, -and in the view of the shephewd; so that *screams* aww the instwuments -which aided to expose the chiwd wewe even then *blushes* wost ^.^ when i-it *twerks* was -found. But, O, ^.^ the nyobwe combat that 'twixt joy *cuddles you* and sowwow was -fought i-in Pauwinya! She had *shuffles closer* onye eye decwin'd fow the woss OwO of h-hew -husband, UwU anyothew ewevated t-that the *pokes you* owacwe was f-fuwfiww'd. She -wifted the Pwincess fwom the *looks at you* eawth, and so w-wocks hew in *hugs tightly* embwacing -as if she wouwd pin hew to hew h-heawt, that she might nyo m-mowe be -in dangew of wosing. -FIWST GENTWEMAN. The dignyity of this act was wowth the audience o-of -kings and pwinces; fow by such was it ^-^ acted. -THIWD GENTWEMAN. Onye of the p-pwettiest touches of aww, and that -*looks away* which angw'd fow m-minye eyes- caught the watew, though nyot *teleports behind you* the -fish- was, w-when at t-the wewation o-of t-the Queen's d-death, with the -UwU mannyew how she came to't *screams* bwavewy confess'd and *sweats* wamented by the -King, how attentivenyes *giggles shyly* wounded his daughtew; t-tiww, fwom onye sign -of dowouw to anyothew, she did with an 'Awas!'- uWu I wouwd fain say- -bweed teaws; fow I a-am suwe my *screams* heawt ^-^ wept bwood. Who was most -*sweats* mawbwe t-thewe changed cowouw; some swoonyed, aww sowwowed. If aww -the w-wowwd c-couwd have seen't, *notices bulge* the woe had b-been unyivewsaw. -F-FIWST GENTWEMAN. Awe they w-wetuwnyed to the *cries* couwt? -*cries* THIWD GENTWEMAN. Nyo. The Pwincess heawing :3 of hew *leans over* mothew's statue, -which is in the keeping of Pauwinya- a piece many yeaws x3 in doing -and nyow nyewwy pewfowm'd *pokes you* by that w-wawe *moans* Itawian mastew, Juwio -Womanyo, who, had *sighs* he h-himsewf etewnyity xDD and *cuddles you* couwd put bweath into -his wowk, wouwd beguiwe nyatuwe of hew custom, so pewfectwy he is -hew a-ape. He so :3 nyeaw to H-Hewmionye ;;w;; hath donye Hewmionye that they s-say -onye wouwd x3 speak to *looks away* hew and stand *giggles shyly* in hope of ^w^ answew- thithew with -aww g-gweedinyess of affection awe they gonye, and thewe they x3 intend -to *screams* sup. -S-SECOND GENTWEMAN. I *hugs tightly* thought she had some ^w^ gweat mattew thewe in -h-hand; fow she hath pwivatewy twice ow thwice a d-day, evew since -the *blushes* death :33 of Hewmionye, visited UwU that wemoved h-house. Shaww we -t-thithew, and with ouw company piece the wejoicing? -FIWST GENTWEMAN. Who wouwd be thence that h-has the benyefit of -access? Evewy wink of an e-eye x3 some nyew gwace wiww be bown. Ouw -absence makes us unthwifty to ouw knyowwedge. Wet's awong. -Exeunt GENTWEMEN -*leans over* AUTOWYCUS. Nyow, had I nyot the *sighs* dash of my f-fowmew wife in me, wouwd -pwefewment dwop o-on my head. I bwought the owd man a-and his *moans* son -aboawd the Pwince; towd him I heawd them :33 tawk of a fawdew *pokes you* and I-I -k-knyow nyot what; b-but h-he at that time *screams* ovew-fond of the shephewd's -d-daughtew- so he then took hew to be- who began *sighs* to be much -sea-sick, and himsewf wittwe bettew, extwemity of weathew -continyuing, this *pokes you* mystewy wemainyed undiscovew'd. But 'tis aww onye -*hugs tightly* to me; fow had I been the findew-out of this secwet, it wouwd OwO nyot -have *hugs tightly* wewish'd *moans* among m-my othew discwedits. - -Entew SHEPHEWD a-and C-CWOWN - -Hewe come those I have donye *shuffles closer* good to xDD against my w-wiww, *screams* and awweady -appeawing in the bwossoms of theiw fowtunye. -SHEPHEWD. Come, boy; I am *sweats* past moe chiwdwen, but thy sons and -daughtews uWu wiww be a-aww gentwemen *blushes* bown. -C-CWOWN. You awe weww met, siw. You denyied *giggles shyly* to f-fight with me this -othew d-day, UwU because I *sighs* was nyo g-gentweman bown. See you these -cwothes? Say you s-see t-them nyot and think me stiww nyo gentweman -bown. You wewe best say these wobes awe nyot gentwemen bown. G-Give -:3 me >w< the wie, *teleports behind you* do; and *looks away* twy *leans over* whethew I-I am nyot nyow a gentweman bown. -AUTOWYCUS. I knyow you awe n-nyow, s-siw, a gentweman bown. -CWOWN. Ay, >_< and have been *looks at you* so any time these fouw *cries* houws. -SHEPHEWD. :33 And so have I, boy. -CWOWN. So you *moans* have; but I-I was a gentweman bown befowe *sighs* my fathew; -fow the King's son took me by the hand and caww'd m-me bwothew; and -then the two kings caww'd my fathew b-bwothew; and then the Pwince, -m-my UwU bwothew, and the Pwincess, my sistew, c-caww'd my *moans* fathew fathew. -And so we *looks at you* wept; *cuddles you* and thewe was the fiwst gentweman-wike teaws ^.^ that -evew we s-shed. -SHEPHEWD. We may wive, son, to ^w^ shed many mowe. -CWOWN. Ay; ow ewse 'twewe hawd wuck, being in so pwepostewous -estate as we awe. -AUTOWYCUS. I h-humbwy beseech you, siw, to pawdon me aww the fauwts I -have committed UwU to youw wowship, and to *shuffles closer* give me youw g-good wepowt -to the UwU Pwince my *teleports behind you* mastew. -SHEPHEWD. Pwithee, s-son, do; fow we must b-be gentwe, n-nyow we awe -g-gentwemen. -C-CWOWN. Thou wiwt amend thy *giggles shyly* wife? -*notices bulge* AUTOWYCUS. Ay, an *notices bulge* it wike youw good wowship. -CWOWN. Give me thy hand. I wiww *pokes you* sweaw to the Pwince thou awt *notices bulge* as -honyest a twue *looks away* fewwow as any is in >_< Bohemia. -SHEPHEWD. You m-may say it, but nyot sweaw it. -CWOWN. xDD Nyot sweaw i-it, nyow I am a gentweman? *sighs* Wet boows and fwankwins -s-say it: I'ww sweaw *looks away* it. -SHEPHEWD. How if it be fawse, s-son? -CWOWN. I-If it be :33 nye'ew so fawse, a twue g-gentweman *cries* may s-sweaw it in -the behawf o-of his fwiend. A-And I'ww sweaw to the Pwince thou awt a -taww fewwow of thy ^-^ hands a-and that thou wiwt nyot be dwunk; but I -knyow *teleports behind you* thou awt nyo taww f-fewwow o-of thy *leans over* hands and that thou wiwt be -dwunk. But I'ww sweaw it; UwU and I wouwd thou wouwdst be a taww -fewwow of thy hands. -*giggles shyly* AUTOWYCUS. x3 I UwU wiww pwove so, siw, to my powew. -CWOWN. x3 Ay, by any means, pwove >_< a uWu taww uWu fewwow. If *looks away* I >_> do UwU nyot wondew -how *screams* thou >_> daw'st ventuwe to be dwunk nyot being *blushes* a >_< taww fewwow, -twust me nyot. H-Hawk! the k-kings and the pwinces, ouw kindwed, awe -going >_> to see the Queen's pictuwe. Come, fowwow *giggles shyly* us; we'ww be thy -good mastews. Exeunt - - - - -SCENyE III. -Siciwia. >_> A x3 chapew in PAUWINyA's house - -Entew WEONTES, POWIXENyES, FWOWIZEW, PEWDITA, CAMIWWO, PAUWINyA, -WOWDS and ATTENDANTS - -WEONTES. :33 O gwave and good Pauwinya, the g-gweat comfowt -That I h-have had *teleports behind you* of thee! -PAUWINyA. What, soveweign x3 siw, -*pokes you* I did nyot >w< weww, I meant w-weww. Aww my sewvices -You *sweats* have paid home; but that you have v-vouchsaf'd, -With ^w^ youw cwown'd bwothew *blushes* and t-these *shuffles closer* youw c-contwacted -uWu Heiws of youw kingdoms, my poow house to visit, -It is a s-suwpwus *leans over* of youw gwace, which nyevew -My wife m-may *shuffles closer* wast to answew. -WEONTES. O Pauwinya, ->_> We ^w^ honyouw UwU you with twoubwe; but we *giggles shyly* came -T-To see the s-statue of ouw queen. *shuffles closer* Youw gawwewy -Have we pass'd thwough, nyot without much c-content -In many singuwawities; but we saw nyot -That w-which m-my daughtew came to wook u-upon, -The s-statue of *hugs tightly* hew *sighs* mothew. -P-PAUWINyA. As she wiv'd peewwess, -So hew *blushes* dead wikenyess, I do weww bewieve, -Excews whatevew yet *sweats* you w-wook'd upon -O-Ow *moans* hand of ^w^ man uWu hath donye; thewefowe I >_> keep it -Wonyewy, apawt. B-But hewe it is. Pwepawe -To see the wife as >w< wivewy *blushes* mock'd as evew -Stiww sweep mock'd death. Behowd; a-and say '-'tis weww. -[PAUWINyA dwaws a *blushes* cuwtain, and *teleports behind you* discovews HEWMIONyE -standing wike a statue] -I wike youw siwence; i-it the mowe shows off -^.^ Youw wondew; but yet speak. Fiwst, y-you, my wiege. -Comes *looks away* it nyot s-something nyeaw? -WEONTES. Hew nyatuwaw postuwe! -Chide m-me, deaw stonye, that *sweats* I may say indeed -Thou awt Hewmionye; o-ow wathew, thou awt ^-^ she -In thy nyot chiding; fow she was as tendew -As infancy *sighs* and gwace. But yet, ;;w;; Pauwinya, -Hewmionye was nyot so much OwO wwinkwed, nyothing -So aged as this seems. -P-POWIXENyES. *shuffles closer* O, nyot by *blushes* much! -PAUWINyA. So much *looks at you* the mowe ^w^ ouw cawvew's *screams* excewwence, -Which wets go by some sixteen y-yeaws and makes hew -As *sighs* she ^w^ wiv'd *cries* nyow. -WEONTES. *cries* As nyow she m-might *screams* have donye, -So much to my g-good c-comfowt as it is -Nyow piewcing *looks at you* to my s-souw. O, thus she *screams* stood, -Even with such wife of majesty- wawm wife, -As n-nyow i-it c-cowdwy stands- when f-fiwst I *shuffles closer* woo'd hew! -*hugs tightly* I am asham'd. Does *twerks* nyot the stonye webuke m-me -*sweats* Fow being mowe *cuddles you* stonye >w< than *shuffles closer* it? O woyaw piece, -Thewe's magic in thy majesty, which has -My e-eviws conjuw'd t-to wemembwance, and -Fwom thy admiwing daughtew *screams* took the spiwits, -Standing wike stonye with thee! -^w^ PEWDITA. And *sweats* give m-me weave, -And do *moans* nyot *moans* say 'tis supewstition that -I knyeew, and then impwowe hew bwessing. Wady, -Deaw queen, that *pokes you* ended when I but b-began, -Give me that hand of youws *screams* to *shuffles closer* kiss. -PAUWINyA. O, patience! -The UwU statue is but nyewwy f-fix'd, the cowouw's -Nyot dwy. -*cuddles you* CAMIWWO. My wowd, youw sowwow was too sowe waid :33 on, -Which sixteen wintews cannyot uWu bwow away, -So xDD many summews dwy. Scawce a-any joy -Did evew so wong wive; nyo sowwow -But kiww'd i-itsewf much soonyew. -UwU POWIXENyES. Deaw my bwothew, -W-Wet him that was the cause *screams* of this have pow'w -To *screams* take o-off so much gwief fwom y-you as he -Wiww >w< piece up >_< in himsewf. -PAUWINyA. Indeed, my wowd, -If I-I had thought the sight of my poow image -Wouwd thus have w-wwought you- fow *screams* the stonye is minye- -I-I'd nyot h-have show'd i-it. -WEONTES. D-Do nyot dwaw the cuwtain. -PAUWINyA. Nyo wongew shaww y-you gaze on't, west youw fancy -May t-think anyon it moves. -W-WEONTES. Wet be, wet be. -Wouwd I-I wewe dead, but that methinks awweady- -What was he that did make it? See, my wowd, -Wouwd you nyot deem it *pokes you* bweath'd, *twerks* and that those veins -Did vewiwy beaw bwood? -POWIXENyES. Mastewwy donye! ->_> The vewy wife seems wawm upon hew w-wip. -WEONTES. The f-fixtuwe o-of hew eye has motion i-in't, -A-As we awe mock'd with awt. -PAUWINyA. ;;w;; I'ww :33 dwaw the cuwtain. -My wowd's awmost so faw twanspowted that -He'ww OwO think anyon it wives. -WEONTES. x3 O s-sweet Pauwinya, -*sighs* Make me to think so twenty *giggles shyly* yeaws togethew! -Nyo *shuffles closer* settwed senses of the wowwd can match -The pweasuwe of t-that madnyess. *sweats* Wet 't awonye. -PAUWINyA. I *shuffles closer* am sowwy, siw, I have thus :33 faw *teleports behind you* stiww'd you; but -xDD I couwd *looks at you* affwict *moans* you f-fawthew. -W-WEONTES. *twerks* Do, Pauwinya; -Fow this affwiction h-has a taste as *moans* sweet -As *screams* any cowdiaw comfowt. Stiww, *pokes you* methinks, -Thewe *sweats* is an aiw comes fwom hew. W-What finye chisew -Couwd evew yet *teleports behind you* cut *looks away* bweath? Wet nyo man mock me, -Fow *screams* I wiww kiss h-hew. -PAUWINyA. Good *hugs tightly* my wowd, fowbeaw. -*cuddles you* The wuddinyess *pokes you* upon *blushes* hew wip is wet; -You'ww maw it if you kiss it; stain youw own -With oiwy painting. Shaww I dwaw the cuwtain? -*notices bulge* WEONTES. Nyo, nyot these twenty yeaws. -*twerks* PEWDITA. x3 So wong couwd I -Stand by, a-a wookew-on. -PAUWINyA. Eithew fowbeaw, -*blushes* Quit pwesentwy the chapew, ow wesowve >_> you -Fow mowe amazement. If you can behowd it, -I'ww make the statue *shuffles closer* move *looks at you* indeed, descend, -And take you by the hand, uWu but >w< then you'ww think- -Which I pwotest against- I a-am assisted -By wicked powews. -WEONTES. What you can make hew do -I am content to wook on; what t-to speak -I am content >_< to heaw; fow 'tis as easy -T-To m-make hew speak as move. -PAUWINyA. I-It is wequiw'd -You d-do awake youw faith. Then aww stand stiww; -Ow those that OwO think it is unwawfuw *looks away* businyess -*notices bulge* I ^w^ am about, wet them depawt. -WEONTES. Pwoceed. -Nyo foot shaww stiw. -PAUWINyA. Music, awake hew: stwike. [Music] -'Tis *notices bulge* time; descend; b-be stonye nyo mowe; appwoach; -S-Stwike aww that wook upon with m-mawvew. Come; -*hugs tightly* I'ww fiww youw gwave up. Stiw; nyay, come away. -Bequeath t-to death youw n-nyumbnyess, fow fwom him -Deaw *shuffles closer* wife wedeems you. You pewceive she stiws. -*looks away* [HEWMIONyE comes *pokes you* down fwom the p-pedestaw] -Stawt nyot; hew >w< actions shaww be howy as -You UwU heaw my s-speww is wawfuw. Do nyot shun hew -x3 Untiw you x3 see hew d-die again; fow then -xDD You kiww hew doubwe. Nyay, pwesent youw hand. -When she *cries* was *looks at you* young you woo'd hew; n-nyow in age -Is she *moans* become the suitow? -WEONTES. O, *looks away* she's wawm! -If this be magic, wet it b-be an awt -*cries* Wawfuw as eating. -POWIXENyES. She *shuffles closer* embwaces him. -CAMIWWO. She hangs about h-his nyeck. -If she p-pewtain to wife, wet hew speak too. -POWIXENyES. Ay, and ^.^ make it manyifest w-whewe she has wiv'd, -Ow how stow'n fwom the dead. -^w^ PAUWINyA. That she OwO is w-wiving, -Wewe it b-but towd you, shouwd be hooted *cuddles you* at -W-Wike an o-owd >w< tawe; *shuffles closer* but it appeaws she wives -Though yet she speak n-nyot. Mawk a wittwe uWu whiwe. -P-Pwease you t-to intewpose, faiw *blushes* madam. Knyeew, -And pway y-youw mothew's >w< bwessing. Tuwn, g-good w-wady; -Ouw :33 Pewdita is *sweats* found. -HEWMIONyE. You gods, wook down, -A-And fwom youw sacwed viaws pouw youw gwaces -Upon *giggles shyly* my daughtew's head! Teww me, minye own, -*giggles shyly* Whewe hast thou been :33 pwesewv'd? Whewe wiv'd? How found -T-Thy fathew's couwt? Fow *moans* thou shawt heaw that I, -Knyowing by Pauwinya that ^-^ the owacwe -*sighs* Gave hope thou wast i-in *hugs tightly* being, have pwesewv'd -Mysewf ^.^ to see t-the issue. -PAUWINyA. Thewe's time *teleports behind you* enyough fow that, -West they desiwe upon this push to *shuffles closer* twoubwe -*moans* Youw joys with wike wewation. *shuffles closer* Go togethew, -Y-You pwecious winnyews aww; youw exuwtation -Pawtake to evewy onye. I, an owd tuwtwe, -Wiww *sweats* wing me *sighs* to some withew'd bough, a-and thewe -My ^w^ mate, ^-^ that's n-nyevew to be found again, -Wament tiww I am wost. -*twerks* WEONTES. *looks at you* O peace, *shuffles closer* Pauwinya! -Thou shouwdst a h-husband take by my consent, -As I by t-thinye a *moans* wife. This is a match, -And made between's by >_> vows. Thou *blushes* hast found minye; -But how, is to b-be question'd; >_> fow *moans* I saw hew, -As I thought, dead; and have, in vain, s-said many -A pwayew upon hew gwave. I-I'ww nyot seek faw- -Fow him, I pawtwy k-knyow his mind- t-to find *sweats* thee -An honyouwabwe husband. Come, Camiwwo, -x3 And take hew by *teleports behind you* the hand whose wowth and honyesty -Is wichwy nyoted, and *cuddles you* hewe justified -UwU By *twerks* us, a-a paiw of kings. Wet's fwom t-this pwace. -What! wook upon my bwothew. Both youw pawdons, -That e'ew I *sighs* put b-between youw howy *sighs* wooks -My iww s-suspicion. *hugs tightly* This youw son-in-waw, -And son u-unto the >_< King, whom h-heavens diwecting, -Is t-twoth-pwight to youw daughtew. Good P-Pauwinya, -^w^ Wead us f-fwom hence whewe we may weisuwewy -Each onye demand and answew to *moans* his p-pawt -Pewfowm'd in t-this wide gap of time since fiwst -We wewe dissevew'd. Hastiwy wead *leans over* away. Exeunt - -THE END - - - -<-<> - - - - - -:33 1609 - -A WOVEW'S COMPWAINT - -*pokes you* by Wiwwiam S-Shakespeawe - - - -Fwom off a hiww ^w^ whose concave womb wewowded -A p-pwaintfuw stowy fwom a sist'wing vawe, -My spiwits t'attend *sweats* this doubwe voice a-accowded, -A-And down I waid to wist the sad-tunyed tawe, -Ewe wong espied a fickwe maid fuww pawe, -Teawing of p-papews, *sweats* bweaking *shuffles closer* wings atwain, -Stowming hew wowwd w-with sowwow's *cries* wind and wain. - -Upon hew head a pwatted >w< hive of stwaw, -Which fowtified *blushes* hew visage *leans over* fwom the sun, -Wheweon the thought might think sometime it saw -The cawcase of a beauty spent and donye. -Time had nyot s-scythed a-aww that y-youth begun, -Nyow youth aww *moans* quit, b-but ;;w;; spite *sighs* of heaven's feww wage -Some *pokes you* beauty peeped thwough w-wattice of seawed age. - -Oft did she heave hew nyapkin to hew eynye, -Which on it had *screams* conceited c-chawactews, -Waund'wing the s-siwken f-figuwes in the bwinye -That seasonyed *sweats* woe had pewweted in teaws, -And often weading what contents i-it b-beaws; -A-As often shwieking u-undistinguished woe, -In cwamouws of aww size, >_> both >_< high a-and w-wow. - -Sometimes hew wevewwed eyes theiw cawwiage wide, -As they did batt'wy to the sphewes *hugs tightly* intend; -*twerks* Sometime divewted theiw poow bawws awe tied -To th' ^w^ owbed eawth; sometimes t-they do extend -Theiw view wight on; a-anyon theiw gazes wend -To evewy pwace :33 at *hugs tightly* once, and nyowhewe f-fixed, -The mind and sight distwactedwy commixed. - -Hew haiw, n-nyow woose n-nyow tied in fowmaw pwat, -Pwocwaimed *blushes* in h-hew a *cuddles you* cawewess hand of pwide; -Fow some, :33 untucked, descended hew sheaved hat, -H-Hanging hew *leans over* pawe and pinyed cheek beside; -S-Some in hew thweaden fiwwet stiww did bide, -A-And, twue to bondage, *twerks* wouwd n-nyot bweak fwom UwU thence, -Though swackwy bwaided i-in woose nyegwigence. - -A thousand favouws fwom a maund s-she dwew -*notices bulge* Of a-ambew, cwystaw, and of *notices bulge* beaded jet, -Which onye by onye she in a wivew thwew, -Upon whose weeping mawgent s-she was *giggles shyly* set; -Wike usuwy appwying ^w^ wet to wet, -Ow monyawchs' hands x3 that wets nyot bounty *teleports behind you* faww -Whewe want cwies some, but whewe excess begs *cries* aww. - -Of *sweats* fowded scheduwes had she many a onye, -Which s-she pewused, sighed, towe, and gave the fwood; -Cwacked many *blushes* a w-wing xDD of ;;w;; posied gowd and bonye, -Bidding them find t-theiw sepuwchwes in mud; -Found yet moe wettews s-sadwy p-pennyed in bwood, -With sweided s-siwk feat and affectedwy -Enswathed and seawed to c-cuwious secwecy. - -These often bathed she in h-hew fwuxive eyes, -And *giggles shyly* often kissed, and often 'gan to t-teaw; -Cwied, 'O fawse bwood, thou wegistew of wies, -What unyappwoved witnyess dost t-thou beaw! -*shuffles closer* Ink wouwd have seemed m-mowe bwack and damnyed hewe! -This s-said, in top of wage the winyes >_> she wents, -*sweats* Big discontents >_< so bweaking theiw contents. - -A wevewend *screams* man that gwazed his cattwe nyigh, -Sometime a bwustewew that the wuffwe knyew -*sighs* Of couwt, of *blushes* city, and x3 had ^w^ wet go by -The swiftest houws obsewved *leans over* as they fwew, -*sweats* Towawds this *screams* affwicted f-fancy fastwy dwew; -And, pwiviweged by age, desiwes to OwO knyow -In bwief the gwounds and motives of hew woe. - -So swides he UwU down upon his gwainyed bat, -And x3 comewy distant sits he by hew side; -When h-he again desiwes hew, being sat, -*cries* Hew gwievance with his heawing to divide. -If that *looks away* fwom him >_< thewe may be aught appwied -W-Which may *moans* hew suffewing ecstasy assuage, -'-'Tis pwomised in the *leans over* chawity of age. - -'Fathew,' she says, 'though in *hugs tightly* me you behowd -T-The injuwy of many a bwasting *twerks* houw, -W-Wet it nyot teww y-youw judgement I-I am owd: -Nyot age, but sowwow, *looks at you* ovew me hath powew. -*blushes* I m-might a-as yet *sweats* have been ^.^ a spweading f-fwowew, -Fwesh to mysewf, *moans* if I had *looks at you* sewf-appwied -Wove *leans over* to mysewf, *shuffles closer* and to nyo *cuddles you* wove beside. - -'But woe is OwO me! too eawwy I attended -*hugs tightly* A youthfuw suit- it was *hugs tightly* to gain *moans* my gwace- -O-O, onye by nyatuwe's outwawds so commended -That maidens' eyes s-stuck ovew OwO aww his f-face. -Wove wacked a dwewwing UwU and *screams* made him hew pwace; -And when in his faiw pawts she did abide, -S-She UwU was nyew wodged and nyewwy deified. - -'His bwowny wocks did h-hang in c-cwooked cuwws; -And *sweats* evewy wight occasion of t-the wind -Upon h-his wips theiw s-siwken pawcews huwws. -What's sweet to >_> do, t-to do wiww aptwy find: -Each eye that saw *looks away* him did enchant t-the mind; -Fow on his visage was in wittwe dwawn -What wawgenyess t-thinks in Pawadise was sawn. - -'Smaww show of *teleports behind you* man *twerks* was yet upon his chin; -H-His phoenyix down began but t-to appeaw, ->w< Wike unshown *pokes you* vewvet, on that tewmwess skin, -Whose bawe out-bwagged the web it seemed to w-weaw: -Yet showed his v-visage by >_< that cost m-mowe deaw; -And nyice affections wavewing stood xDD in doubt -If best wewe as it was, ow best without. - -'-'His quawities wewe beauteous as his *screams* fowm, -F-Fow maiden-tongued he was, and theweof fwee; -Yet if men moved him, was h-he such a stowm -As oft *sighs* 'twixt May and Apwiw is to >_< see, -When winds bweathe sweet, u-unwuwy *giggles shyly* though they be. -His >_> wudenyess *moans* so with his >_> authowized youth -Did w-wivewy fawsenyess in a-a pwide of t-twuth. - -'Weww couwd he wide, and often m-men wouwd say, -"That howse his mettwe fwom his widew takes: -Pwoud of subjection, nyobwe by the sway, -:33 What wounds, what b-bounds, what couwse, what stop he makes!" -And contwovewsy hence a question xDD takes -Whethew t-the howse by h-him became his deed, -Ow he his manyage by th' weww-doing s-steed. - -'But *sweats* quickwy on *cuddles you* this side t-the *cries* vewdict went: -:3 His weaw habitude gave wife and gwace -To a-appewtainyings and *moans* to ownyament, -Accompwished in h-himsewf, n-nyot in his case, -Aww aids, *sighs* themsewves made faiwew by theiw pwace, -Came f-fow a-additions; yet theiw *sweats* puwposed twim -Piewced n-nyot his gwace, OwO but wewe aww gwaced by h-him. - -'So on the tip of his subduing *teleports behind you* tongue -x3 Aww k-kind of awguments and q-question d-deep, -Aww wepwication pwompt, and UwU weason stwong, -Fow his advantage stiww did w-wake and sweep. -To *sighs* make the weepew waugh, the waughew w-weep, -He had the diawect and diffewent skiww, ->w< Catching *looks at you* aww passions in his cwaft of >_> wiww, - -'That he did *sighs* in *shuffles closer* the genyewaw bosom weign -Of x3 young, of owd, and sexes both enchanted, -To dweww with him UwU in thoughts, ow to wemain -In *giggles shyly* pewsonyaw duty, fowwowing whewe he haunted. -Consents bewitched, ewe he desiwe, x3 have gwanted, -And :3 diawogued fow him what he wouwd say, -^.^ Asked theiw own wiwws, a-and made >_< theiw wiwws obey. - -'-'Many thewe *teleports behind you* wewe *twerks* that d-did his pictuwe get, -To s-sewve t-theiw eyes, and i-in it put theiw mind; -Wike foows t-that i-in th' >_> imaginyation set -T-The goodwy objects w-which abwoad they UwU find -*giggles shyly* Of wands a-and mansions, theiws in thought assignyed; -And wabouwing in moe *leans over* pweasuwes ^w^ to bestow them -Than the twue gouty wandwowd w-which doth o-owe them. - -'-'So many have, t-that nyevew touched his hand, -Sweetwy ^w^ supposed them mistwess of *moans* his heawt. -My woefuw s-sewf, that did in fweedom *leans over* stand, -And was m-my own fee-simpwe, nyot in pawt, -What >_> with h-his awt *looks away* in youth, and youth i-in awt, -Thwew my affections in his xDD chawmed powew -Wesewved *cries* the stawk and gave him aww my fwowew. - -'-'Yet did I nyot, as some my equaws did, -Demand of him, nyow being ^.^ desiwed yiewded; -*moans* Finding mysewf in honyouw so fowbid, -With safest distance I minye honyouw shiewded. -E-Expewience fow ^w^ me many buwwawks b-buiwded -^-^ Of *giggles shyly* pwoofs nyew-bweeding, which wemainyed t-the foiw -O-Of this >w< fawse jewew, and his amowous spoiw. - -'But ah, w-who evew shunnyed by pwecedent -The d-destinyed iww ^.^ she *pokes you* must :3 hewsewf assay? -Ow fowced e-exampwes, 'gainst hew own content, -To put the by-past p-pewiws in hew way? -Counsew may stop awhiwe what w-wiww nyot stay; -Fow when UwU we wage, advice is o-often seen -By b-bwunting us *sweats* to OwO make ouw wiwws :33 mowe k-keen. - -'Nyow gives it satisfaction t-to *leans over* ouw bwood -*leans over* That we must c-cuwb it upon othews' pwoof, -To *giggles shyly* be fowbod the s-sweets that seems s-so g-good -*giggles shyly* Fow f-feaw *looks away* of hawms that pweach i-in ouw behoof. -O ^w^ appetite, fwom j-judgement stand a-awoof! -The onye a *cuddles you* pawate hath t-that nyeeds w-wiww t-taste, -Though Weason >_> weep, *looks at you* and cwy it is thy wast. - -'Fow fuwthew I couwd say this man's untwue, -And knyew the pattewns *looks at you* of his fouw beguiwing; -Heawd whewe his pwants in othews' owchawds gwew; -*looks away* Saw how deceits >_< wewe giwded in his smiwing; -Knyew vows wewe ^-^ evew bwokews to defiwing; -Thought chawactews and wowds mewewy *notices bulge* but *moans* awt, -And bastawds of his fouw a-aduwtewate h-heawt. - -'And wong upon these tewms I *teleports behind you* hewd my *twerks* city, -Tiww *leans over* thus he 'gan besiege me: "Gentwe maid, -H-Have of my suffewing youth some feewing pity, -And be n-nyot of my howy vows afwaid. -T-That's to ye swown to nyonye was evew said; -Fow f-feasts of wove I *hugs tightly* have b-been cawwed u-unto, -Tiww nyow did nye'ew invite nyow nyevew woo. - -'"Aww my offences t-that OwO abwoad *hugs tightly* you see -Awe ewwows of the >_> bwood, nyonye of the mind; -Wove made them >_> nyot; with actuwe they may be, -Whewe nyeithew pawty is nyow twue nyow kind. -They sought theiw shame that so theiw shame d-did find; -A-And so m-much wess of shame in me wemains -By how much of me theiw wepwoach contains. - -'"Among the many that minye eyes h-have s-seen, -Nyot onye whose fwame m-my heawt *sweats* so much as wawmed, -Ow my affection put to th' s-smawwest teen, -Ow any of m-my weisuwes e-evew chawmed. -H-Hawm have I d-donye to them, but nye'ew >w< was hawmed; -Kept heawts in wivewies, *twerks* but minye own *notices bulge* was fwee, -:33 And weignyed commanding in his *twerks* monyawchy. - -'"Wook hewe what twibutes wounded fancies s-sent me, -Of pawed p-peawws and w-wubies w-wed as bwood; -Figuwing that they theiw p-passions wikewise went me -Of gwief and bwushes, aptwy undewstood -;;w;; In bwoodwess white and *twerks* the encwimsonyed m-mood- -Effects of t-tewwow and deaw m-modesty, -Encamped in heawts, but fighting outwawdwy. - -*hugs tightly* '"And, >_> wo, behowd these t-tawents o-of theiw haiw, -With :33 twisted metaw amowouswy empweached, -I have weceiv'd f-fwom many a sevewaw faiw, -*hugs tightly* Theiw kind acceptance *moans* weepingwy beseeched, -With the annyexions of *teleports behind you* faiw gems >_> enwiched, -And deep-bwainyed sonnyets that *blushes* did ampwify -Each stonye's deaw nyatuwe, wowth, and quawity. - -'"The diamond? why, 'twas *looks at you* beautifuw and *blushes* hawd, -Wheweto his i-invised pwopewties did tend; -The deep-gween xDD em'wawd, in whose f-fwesh wegawd -Weak sights t-theiw sickwy :33 wadiance do amend; -The >_< heaven-hued sapphiwe and *hugs tightly* the *cries* opaw bwend -With objects manyifowd; each sevewaw stonye, -With w-wit weww *shuffles closer* bwazonyed, smiwed, ow ^.^ made some moan. - -'"Wo, aww these twophies of affections hot, -Of pensived *teleports behind you* and subdued desiwes the tendew, -N-Nyatuwe hath *giggles shyly* chawged m-me that I xDD hoawd them nyot, -But yiewd them up whewe I mysewf must *notices bulge* wendew- -That is, to you, m-my o-owigin a-and endew; -F-Fow these, of fowce, must youw *blushes* obwations be, -*cries* Since I theiw awtaw, you *teleports behind you* enpatwon me. - -'"O t-then a-advance xDD of youws that phwasewess hand -Whose white weighs *sweats* down the aiwy x3 scawe of *cries* pwaise; -Take *sweats* aww t-these simiwes to y-youw own command, -H-Hawwowed with sighs that buwnying wungs did waise; -What me youw minyistew f-fow you >_< obeys -Wowks undew you; a-and to youw audit c-comes -T-Theiw distwact pawcews in combinyed sums. - -'"Wo, this device was sent me fwom a nyun, -Ow OwO sistew sanctified, of howiest nyote, -Which wate hew nyobwe suit in couwt *sighs* did shun, -Whose wawest havings m-made the *giggles shyly* bwossoms dote; -Fow she was *looks away* sought *shuffles closer* by *notices bulge* spiwits *cuddles you* of wichest coat, -But kept cowd distance, a-and did thence wemove -To spend hew w-wiving in etewnyaw wove. - -'"But, O m-my sweet, what w-wabouw is't to weave -The thing we have nyot, m-mast'wing *hugs tightly* what nyot x3 stwives, -:33 Pwaying the pwace which did nyo fowm w-weceive, -Pwaying patient spowts in unconstwainyed gyves! -She that hew fame so to hewsewf contwives, -The *hugs tightly* scaws of battwe scapeth b-by the fwight, -A-And makes hew absence vawiant, nyot hew might. - -'"O p-pawdon me i-in *notices bulge* that my *teleports behind you* boast is twue! -The accident which bwought :3 me to hew e-eye -Upon the moment d-did hew fowce *sweats* subdue, -*twerks* And n-nyow she wouwd the caged cwoistew fwy. -Wewigious wove p-put out wewigion's eye. -N-Nyot :33 to be tempted, *pokes you* wouwd she be immuwed, -And n-nyow to tempt aww wibewty pwocuwed. - -'"How mighty then you awe, O heaw me teww! -The bwoken bosoms that to ^-^ me b-bewong -Have emptied aww t-theiw fountains in my weww, -*moans* And minye I pouw *shuffles closer* youw ocean *cuddles you* aww among. -I stwong o'ew them, and you o'ew me being stwong, -Must fow youw victowy *cuddles you* us aww congest, -As compound *looks at you* wove to physic youw cowd bweast. - -'"My pawts had pow'w to chawm a sacwed nyun, -Who, xDD discipwinyed, ay, d-dieted in *cries* gwace, -Bewieved ^.^ hew eyes when they t'assaiw begun, -Aww vows and consecwations giving pwace, -O most potentiaw wove, vow, bond, nyow *leans over* space, -I-In thee hath nyeithew sting, knyot, nyow confinye, -Fow >_< thou >_> awt aww, and aww things ewse awe x3 thinye. - -'"When thou impwessest, what a-awe pwecepts w-wowth -Of stawe *shuffles closer* exampwe? When >_> thou wiwt infwame, -How *cuddles you* cowdwy those i-impediments ^w^ stand *looks at you* fowth, -Of weawth, ;;w;; of *leans over* fiwiaw feaw, waw, kindwed, f-fame! -Wove's awms a-awe peace, 'gainst wuwe, *hugs tightly* 'gainst s-sense, 'gainst shame. -And sweetens, in t-the suff'wing pangs it beaws, -UwU The awoes of a-aww fowces, s-shocks a-and feaws. - -'"Nyow *giggles shyly* aww these OwO heawts *giggles shyly* that *sighs* do on minye d-depend, -Feewing it bweak, w-with bweeding gwoans t-they pinye, -And suppwicant theiw sighs to y-youw extend, -To weave the batt'wy t-that you m-make 'gainst minye, -Wending soft audience to my sweet design, -And cwedent *cries* souw to that stwong-bonded oath, -That shaww pwefew ^-^ and undewtake my twoth." - -'-'This said, his *sweats* wat'wy eyes *twerks* he did dismount, -Whose sights tiww then wewe wevewwed on my f-face; -Each cheek a wivew wunnying fwom a fount -With bwinyish cuwwent downwawd *sighs* fwowed :3 apace. -xDD O, how t-the *twerks* channyew to the s-stweam gave gwace! -Who gwazed with cwystaw gate the g-gwowing woses -That *pokes you* fwame thwough watew w-which theiw h-hue encwoses. - -'O fathew, *twerks* what ^w^ a heww of witchcwaft w-wies -In the smaww *sighs* owb o-of onye ^.^ pawticuwaw teaw! -But with t-the inyundation of the *hugs tightly* eyes -*shuffles closer* What wocky heawt to w-watew wiww nyot weaw? -What bweast so cowd that is nyot wawmed hewe? -O x3 cweft effect! cowd modesty, hot wwath, -Both fiwe fwom hence and chiww extinctuwe hath. - -'Fow wo, his passion, b-but an awt *shuffles closer* of cwaft, -Even *screams* thewe wesowved :3 my OwO weason into teaws; -*looks at you* Thewe m-my white stowe of c-chastity I daffed, -Shook off my ^-^ sobew g-guawds and *cuddles you* civiw feaws; -Appeaw t-to him as he to me ;;w;; appeaws, -Aww ^.^ mewting; though ouw d-dwops this diff'wence *looks at you* bowe: -His poisonyed me, and minye uWu did him westowe. - -'In him a pwenyitude of subtwe mattew, -A-Appwied to *shuffles closer* cautews, aww stwange f-fowms uWu weceives, -Of buwnying bwushes ow o-of weeping w-watew, -Ow swoonying pawenyess; and he takes and weaves, -In eithew's aptnyess, as it b-best deceives, -To bwush at speeches *leans over* wank, to weep at woes, -OwO Ow to tuwn white and swoon at twagic shows; - -'That nyot a heawt which in his wevew came -Couwd *shuffles closer* scape the haiw of his aww-huwting aim, -Showing faiw nyatuwe is both x3 kind a-and tame; -And, veiwed in them, d-did win whom he wouwd maim. -Against the ^w^ thing he sought he wouwd excwaim; -When he most b-buwnyed in h-heawt-wished wuxuwy, -H-He pweached *looks away* puwe maid and pwaised c-cowd chastity. - -'Thus mewewy w-with :3 the *screams* gawment >w< of a-a Gwace -T-The nyaked and x3 conceawed fiend h-he covewed, -That th' unyexpewient gave *giggles shyly* the temptew pwace, -W-Which, wike a chewubin, above them hovewed. -^.^ Who, young and simpwe, *shuffles closer* wouwd nyot be so wovewed? -Ay me, I feww, and yet do question m-make -What I shouwd do uWu again fow such a sake. - -'O, *twerks* that infected m-moistuwe of his e-eye, -O, that fawse fiwe which >_< in his cheek x3 so gwowed, -O, that >_> fowced thundew fwom his heawt did fwy, -O, that sad bweath his spongy wungs bestowed, -O, a-aww *sighs* that bowwowed motion, seeming owed, -Wouwd yet a-again *cuddles you* betway the fowe-betwayed, -And *pokes you* nyew pewvewt a weconciwed maid.' - -THE END - - - -<-<_< COMMEWCIAW *looks away* DISTWIBUTION INCWUDES BY x3 ANY -SEWVICE T-THAT *shuffles closer* CHAWGES FOW *screams* DOWNWOAD TIME OW FOW MEMBEWSHIP.>> - - - -End of >_< this E-Etext of *pokes you* The Compwete W-Wowks of Wiwwiam *moans* Shakespeawe - - - From c27ce62b9755fb0832249b9684382d0111915316 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:05:52 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 02/17] Add UwUSeeder --- src/seeder.rs | 37 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 37 insertions(+) create mode 100644 src/seeder.rs diff --git a/src/seeder.rs b/src/seeder.rs new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bb08f62 --- /dev/null +++ b/src/seeder.rs @@ -0,0 +1,37 @@ +use std::hash::Hasher; + +use ahash::AHasher; +use rand::distributions::uniform::{SampleRange, SampleUniform}; +use rand::{Rng, RngCore, SeedableRng}; +use rand_xoshiro::Xoshiro256Plus; + +pub struct UwUSeeder { + rng: Xoshiro256Plus, +} + +impl UwUSeeder { + #[inline] + pub fn new(word: &[u8], random: bool) -> UwUSeeder { + let rand_u64 = if !random { + let mut hasher = AHasher::new_with_keys(0, 0); + hasher.write(word); + hasher.finish() + } else { + rand::rngs::OsRng::default().next_u64() + }; + + UwUSeeder { + rng: Xoshiro256Plus::seed_from_u64(rand_u64), + } + } + + #[inline] + pub fn random_float(&mut self) -> f64 { + self.rng.gen_range(0.0..1.0) + } + + #[inline] + pub fn random_int>(&mut self, range: R) -> T { + self.rng.gen_range(range) + } +} \ No newline at end of file From 45b864f5ea084eee18478e71cfe0398995c8d92b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:07:12 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 03/17] Add macro for checking if modifiers were entered & panic through clap --- src/main.rs | 24 +++++++++++++++++------- 1 file changed, 17 insertions(+), 7 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/main.rs b/src/main.rs index 480e3d0..d6ac0e1 100644 --- a/src/main.rs +++ b/src/main.rs @@ -1,3 +1,5 @@ +use std::panic::set_hook; + use clap::{Arg, ArgGroup, ErrorKind}; use uwuifyy::UwUify; @@ -99,13 +101,16 @@ macro_rules! clap_panic { }; } +macro_rules! is_runtime { + ($faces:expr, $actions:expr, $stutters:expr) => { + $faces > 0 || $actions > 0 || $stutters > 0 + }; +} + fn main() { - std::panic::set_hook(Box::new(|info| { - clap_panic!(info); - })); - let matches = app!().get_matches(); + set_hook(Box::new(|info| clap_panic!(info))); - // panicing here ensures that the error is passed to the hook above instead of to stdout. + let matches = app!().get_matches(); match UwUify::new( matches.value_of("text"), matches.value_of("infile"), @@ -115,10 +120,15 @@ fn main() { matches.value_of("actions"), matches.value_of("stutters"), matches.is_present("random"), + is_runtime!( + matches.occurrences_of("faces"), + matches.occurrences_of("actions"), + matches.occurrences_of("stutters") + ), ) .uwuify() { - Err(e) => clap_panic!(e), + Err(err) => clap_panic!(err), _ => {} }; } @@ -133,4 +143,4 @@ fn is_between_zero_and_one(input: &str) -> Result<(), &'static str> { return Ok(()); } Err("The value must be between 0.0 and 1.0") -} +} \ No newline at end of file From a50f3aeebc4de4f82c77138d1baa0495c8eb2559 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:07:52 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 04/17] Add whitespace after faces & actions for 2 less write_all() calls --- src/constants.rs | 64 ++++++++++++++++++++++++------------------------ 1 file changed, 32 insertions(+), 32 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/constants.rs b/src/constants.rs index defd7cd..4a9cc51 100644 --- a/src/constants.rs +++ b/src/constants.rs @@ -1,38 +1,38 @@ pub const FACES_SIZE: usize = 14; pub const FACES: [&[u8]; FACES_SIZE] = [ - b"OwO", - b"UwU", - b">w<", - b"^w^", - b"^-^", - b":3", - b"x3", - b"xDD", - b";;w;;", - b">_<", - b">_>", - b"^.^", - b":33", - b"uWu", + b"OwO ", + b"UwU ", + b">w< ", + b"^w^ ", + b"^-^ ", + b":3 ", + b"x3 ", + b"xDD ", + b";;w;; ", + b">_< ", + b">_> ", + b"^.^ ", + b":33 ", + b"uWu ", ]; pub const ACTIONS_SIZE: usize = 17; pub const ACTIONS: [&[u8]; ACTIONS_SIZE] = [ - b"*notices bulge*", - b"*cries*", - b"*hugs tightly*", - b"*screams*", - b"*looks away*", - b"*blushes*", - b"*sweats*", - b"*cuddles you*", - b"*moans*", - b"*giggles shyly*", - b"*looks at you*", - b"*twerks*", - b"*sighs*", - b"*leans over*", - b"*pokes you*", - b"*teleports behind you*", - b"*shuffles closer*", -]; + b"*notices bulge* ", + b"*cries* ", + b"*hugs tightly* ", + b"*screams* ", + b"*looks away* ", + b"*blushes* ", + b"*sweats* ", + b"*cuddles you* ", + b"*moans* ", + b"*giggles shyly* ", + b"*looks at you* ", + b"*twerks* ", + b"*sighs* ", + b"*leans over* ", + b"*pokes you* ", + b"*teleports behind you* ", + b"*shuffles closer* ", +]; \ No newline at end of file From 4fe980306812c66c7429811a5c6b128016929ce8 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:08:11 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 05/17] Add ahash:0.7.6 --- Cargo.toml | 3 ++- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Cargo.toml b/Cargo.toml index e545aaf..5e65110 100644 --- a/Cargo.toml +++ b/Cargo.toml @@ -27,6 +27,7 @@ rand = "0.8.4" indicatif = "0.16.2" linkify = "0.8.0" rand_xoshiro = "0.6.0" +ahash = "0.7.6" memmap = "0.7.0" [profile.release] @@ -35,4 +36,4 @@ codegen-units = 1 panic = "abort" [features] -bench = [] +bench = [] \ No newline at end of file From 6a01ee923371d5914773bf7e50dc179c17deac19 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:21:58 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 06/17] Refactor & restore original seeding/modifier functionality --- src/lib.rs | 128 +++++++++++++++++++++++++---------------------------- 1 file changed, 61 insertions(+), 67 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/lib.rs b/src/lib.rs index a277068..f246ca7 100644 --- a/src/lib.rs +++ b/src/lib.rs @@ -1,17 +1,20 @@ -use indicatif::{ProgressBar, ProgressStyle}; -use linkify::{LinkFinder, LinkKind}; -use rand::{Rng, RngCore, SeedableRng}; -use rand_xoshiro::{Xoshiro256Plus, Xoshiro256PlusPlus}; use std::fs::File; -use std::io::{BufWriter, Error, Write}; +use std::io::{stdout, BufWriter, Error, ErrorKind, Write}; use std::path::Path; +use std::str::from_utf8_unchecked; + +use indicatif::{ProgressBar, ProgressStyle}; +use linkify::{LinkFinder, LinkKind}; +use memmap::Mmap; use constants::ACTIONS; use constants::ACTIONS_SIZE; use constants::FACES; use constants::FACES_SIZE; +use seeder::UwUSeeder; mod constants; +mod seeder; macro_rules! progress_bar { () => {{ @@ -34,8 +37,8 @@ pub struct UwUify<'a> { faces: f64, actions: f64, stutters: f64, - floating_rng: Xoshiro256Plus, - int_rng: Xoshiro256PlusPlus, + random: bool, + is_runtime: bool, linkify: LinkFinder, } @@ -49,8 +52,8 @@ impl<'a> Default for UwUify<'a> { faces: 0.05, actions: 0.125, stutters: 0.225, - floating_rng: Xoshiro256Plus::seed_from_u64(69), - int_rng: Xoshiro256PlusPlus::seed_from_u64(420), + random: false, + is_runtime: false, linkify: LinkFinder::new(), } } @@ -66,25 +69,22 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { actions: Option<&'a str>, stutters: Option<&'a str>, random: bool, + is_runtime: bool, ) -> UwUify<'a> { - // I dislike this - let mut linkify = LinkFinder::new(); linkify.kinds(&[LinkKind::Email, LinkKind::Url]); linkify.url_must_have_scheme(false); + let mut uwuify = UwUify { text: text.unwrap_or_default(), input: infile.unwrap_or_default(), output: outfile.unwrap_or_default(), + random, + is_runtime, linkify, ..Default::default() }; - if random { - uwuify.floating_rng = Xoshiro256Plus::seed_from_u64(rand::rngs::OsRng.next_u64()); - uwuify.int_rng = Xoshiro256PlusPlus::seed_from_u64(rand::rngs::OsRng.next_u64()); - } - if let Some(words) = words { uwuify.words = words.parse::().unwrap(); } @@ -97,6 +97,7 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { if let Some(stutters) = stutters { uwuify.stutters = stutters.parse::().unwrap(); } + uwuify } @@ -107,85 +108,78 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { if !self.output.is_empty() { if Path::new(&self.output).exists() { return Err(Error::new( - std::io::ErrorKind::AlreadyExists, + ErrorKind::AlreadyExists, format!("File '{}' already exists, aborting operation", &self.output), )); } - let mut uwu_out_file = BufWriter::new(File::create(&self.output)?); let uwu_progress_bar = progress_bar!(); - self.uwuify_sentence(self.text, &mut uwu_out_file)?; - + self.uwuify_sentence(self.text, &mut BufWriter::new(File::create(&self.output)?))?; uwu_progress_bar.finish_with_message("UwU'ifying Complete!"); - Ok(()) } else { - #[cfg(not(test))] - let stdout = std::io::stdout(); - #[cfg(not(test))] - let mut out = BufWriter::new(stdout.lock()); - #[cfg(test)] - let mut out = std::io::sink(); - self.uwuify_sentence(self.text, &mut out)?; - #[cfg(not(test))] - out.write_all(b"\n")?; - Ok(()) + self.uwuify_sentence(self.text, &mut BufWriter::new(stdout().lock()))?; } } else { // Handle File I/O if Path::new(&self.output).exists() { return Err(Error::new( - std::io::ErrorKind::AlreadyExists, + ErrorKind::AlreadyExists, format!("File '{}' already exists, aborting operation", &self.output), )); } let uwu_progress_bar = progress_bar!(); self.uwuify_sentence( - unsafe { - std::str::from_utf8_unchecked( - memmap::Mmap::map(&File::open(&self.input)?)?.as_ref(), - ) - }, + unsafe { from_utf8_unchecked(Mmap::map(&File::open(&self.input)?)?.as_ref()) }, &mut BufWriter::new(File::create(&self.output)?), )?; uwu_progress_bar.finish_with_message("UwU'ifying Complete!"); - Ok(()) } + + Ok(()) } - pub fn uwuify_sentence( - &mut self, - text: &str, - out: &mut T, - ) -> Result<(), std::io::Error> { + pub fn uwuify_sentence(&mut self, text: &str, out: &mut T) -> Result<(), Error> { text.lines().try_for_each(|line| { line.split_whitespace() - .map(|f| f.as_bytes()) + .map(|word_str| word_str.as_bytes()) .try_for_each(|word| { - let random_value = self.floating_rng.gen_range(0.0..1.0); - - if random_value <= self.faces { - out.write_all(FACES[self.int_rng.gen_range(0..FACES_SIZE)])?; - out.write_all(b" ")?; - } else if random_value <= self.actions { - out.write_all(ACTIONS[self.int_rng.gen_range(0..ACTIONS_SIZE)])?; - out.write_all(b" ")?; - } else if random_value <= self.stutters { - (0..self.int_rng.gen_range(1..2)) - .into_iter() - .try_for_each(|_| { - match word[0] { - b'L' | b'R' => out.write_all(b"W"), - b'l' | b'r' => out.write_all(b"w"), - b => out.write_all(&[b]), - }?; - out.write_all(b"-") - })?; + let mut seeder = UwUSeeder::new(word, self.random); + let random_value = seeder.random_float(); + + if !self.is_runtime { + if random_value <= self.faces { + out.write_all(FACES[seeder.random_int(0..FACES_SIZE)])?; + } else if random_value <= self.actions { + out.write_all(ACTIONS[seeder.random_int(0..ACTIONS_SIZE)])?; + } else if random_value <= self.stutters { + match word[0] { + b'L' | b'R' => out.write_all(b"W"), + b'l' | b'r' => out.write_all(b"w"), + byte => out.write_all(&[byte]), + }?; + out.write_all(b"-")?; + } + } else { + if random_value <= self.faces { + out.write_all(FACES[seeder.random_int(0..FACES_SIZE)])?; + } + if random_value <= self.actions { + out.write_all(ACTIONS[seeder.random_int(0..ACTIONS_SIZE)])?; + } + if random_value <= self.stutters { + match word[0] { + b'L' | b'R' => out.write_all(b"W"), + b'l' | b'r' => out.write_all(b"w"), + byte => out.write_all(&[byte]), + }?; + out.write_all(b"-")?; + } } if self .linkify - .links(unsafe { std::str::from_utf8_unchecked(word) }) + .links(unsafe { from_utf8_unchecked(word) }) .count() > 0 || random_value > self.words @@ -195,13 +189,13 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { (0..word.len()).try_for_each(|index| match word[index] { b'L' | b'R' => out.write_all(b"W"), b'l' | b'r' => out.write_all(b"w"), - b'E' | b'e' | b'A' | b'I' | b'O' | b'U' | b'a' | b'i' | b'o' | b'u' => { + b'A' | b'E' | b'I' | b'O' | b'U' | b'a' | b'e' | b'i' | b'o' | b'u' => { match word.get(index - 1).unwrap_or(&word[0]) { b'N' | b'n' => out.write_all(&[b'y', word[index]]), _ => out.write_all(&[word[index]]), } } - b => out.write_all(&[b]), + byte => out.write_all(&[byte]), })?; } out.write_all(b" ") @@ -209,4 +203,4 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { out.write_all(b"\n") }) } -} +} \ No newline at end of file From a345b210d034b642419044dfc39318a4acc61022 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:41:24 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 07/17] Update progress bar --- src/lib.rs | 17 ++++++++++------- 1 file changed, 10 insertions(+), 7 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/lib.rs b/src/lib.rs index f246ca7..60a9338 100644 --- a/src/lib.rs +++ b/src/lib.rs @@ -17,12 +17,14 @@ mod constants; mod seeder; macro_rules! progress_bar { - () => {{ - let progress_bar = ProgressBar::new_spinner(); + ($bytes:expr) => {{ + let progress_bar = ProgressBar::new($bytes); progress_bar.set_style( - ProgressStyle::default_spinner().template("{spinner:.green} [{elapsed_precise}] {msg}"), + ProgressStyle::default_spinner() + .template("{spinner:.magenta} [{elapsed_precise:.bold}] {msg:.green.bold}"), ); - progress_bar.enable_steady_tick(100); + progress_bar.set_message("UwU'ifying In Progress..."); + progress_bar.enable_steady_tick(30); progress_bar }}; @@ -113,7 +115,7 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { )); } - let uwu_progress_bar = progress_bar!(); + let uwu_progress_bar = progress_bar!(self.text.len() as u64); self.uwuify_sentence(self.text, &mut BufWriter::new(File::create(&self.output)?))?; uwu_progress_bar.finish_with_message("UwU'ifying Complete!"); } else { @@ -128,9 +130,10 @@ impl<'a> UwUify<'a> { )); } - let uwu_progress_bar = progress_bar!(); + let infile = File::open(&self.input)?; + let uwu_progress_bar = progress_bar!(infile.metadata()?.len()); self.uwuify_sentence( - unsafe { from_utf8_unchecked(Mmap::map(&File::open(&self.input)?)?.as_ref()) }, + unsafe { from_utf8_unchecked(Mmap::map(&infile)?.as_ref()) }, &mut BufWriter::new(File::create(&self.output)?), )?; uwu_progress_bar.finish_with_message("UwU'ifying Complete!"); From c6a9555d9988303e2a7d21aed318bbfc9a54da66 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2022 23:41:52 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 08/17] Update version to v0.2.0 --- Cargo.toml | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Cargo.toml b/Cargo.toml index 5e65110..b09af5f 100644 --- a/Cargo.toml +++ b/Cargo.toml @@ -1,6 +1,6 @@ [package] name = "uwuifyy" -version = "0.1.1" +version = "0.2.0" edition = "2021" authors = ["Goudham "] description = "A robust, customizable, efficient and easy-to-use command line application to uwu'ify your text!" From 23c8e656011b9742f7034b28473d3df1dd60f9ab Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 01:53:39 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 09/17] Remove #[inline] --- src/seeder.rs | 3 --- 1 file changed, 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/seeder.rs b/src/seeder.rs index bb08f62..722cd12 100644 --- a/src/seeder.rs +++ b/src/seeder.rs @@ -10,7 +10,6 @@ pub struct UwUSeeder { } impl UwUSeeder { - #[inline] pub fn new(word: &[u8], random: bool) -> UwUSeeder { let rand_u64 = if !random { let mut hasher = AHasher::new_with_keys(0, 0); @@ -25,12 +24,10 @@ impl UwUSeeder { } } - #[inline] pub fn random_float(&mut self) -> f64 { self.rng.gen_range(0.0..1.0) } - #[inline] pub fn random_int>(&mut self, range: R) -> T { self.rng.gen_range(range) } From b44b42fc1ac076a2a1fa28ebcf4e63d2c76c37e4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 01:54:14 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 10/17] Follow suggestion as shown here -> https://rust-lang.github.io/rust-clippy/master/index.html#single_match --- src/main.rs | 7 +++---- 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 4 deletions(-) diff --git a/src/main.rs b/src/main.rs index d6ac0e1..e41ce0c 100644 --- a/src/main.rs +++ b/src/main.rs @@ -111,7 +111,7 @@ fn main() { set_hook(Box::new(|info| clap_panic!(info))); let matches = app!().get_matches(); - match UwUify::new( + if let Err(err) = UwUify::new( matches.value_of("text"), matches.value_of("infile"), matches.value_of("outfile"), @@ -128,9 +128,8 @@ fn main() { ) .uwuify() { - Err(err) => clap_panic!(err), - _ => {} - }; + clap_panic!(err); + } } fn is_between_zero_and_one(input: &str) -> Result<(), &'static str> { From bc2c9ad45b4c716f8c861e439c852712cea0b6c7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 22:28:43 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 11/17] Clean up logos directory --- logo/UwUifyy-Transparent.png | Bin 175391 -> 0 bytes logo/UwUifyy.png | Bin 55058 -> 0 bytes ...-Transparent-Small.png => uwuifyy-logo.png} | Bin 3 files changed, 0 insertions(+), 0 deletions(-) delete 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-> 20564 bytes examples/gifs/tokyo-2020-olympics-tweets.gif | Bin 485874 -> 15013 bytes examples/gifs/william-shakespeare.gif | Bin 62901 -> 15674 bytes 7 files changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) create mode 100644 examples/gifs/text-file-to-file-output.gif create mode 100644 examples/gifs/text-input-to-file-output.gif create mode 100644 examples/gifs/text-input-to-text-output.gif diff --git a/examples/gifs/amazon-ratings-reviews.gif b/examples/gifs/amazon-ratings-reviews.gif index d3269e0..0050c46 100644 --- a/examples/gifs/amazon-ratings-reviews.gif +++ b/examples/gifs/amazon-ratings-reviews.gif @@ -1,3 +1,3 @@ version https://git-lfs.github.com/spec/v1 -oid sha256:e7e4a7aef84ea7b6372a6f8843a34920859fe16d6bd0b1515cb42a050fbe8a8d -size 5075736 +oid sha256:fc99a3c03cc99b715f4bb7a598c3a15eb0bdf58e40a383b9ec5084c5186897a1 +size 43789 diff --git a/examples/gifs/text-file-to-file-output.gif b/examples/gifs/text-file-to-file-output.gif new file mode 100644 index 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+++++++++++++++++++++++++------------------------------ 1 file changed, 44 insertions(+), 54 deletions(-) diff --git a/README.md b/README.md index 17b61c8..17a7d33 100644 --- a/README.md +++ b/README.md @@ -5,9 +5,9 @@ [![downloads](https://img.shields.io/crates/d/uwuifyy)](https://crates.io/crates/uwuifyy) [![license](https://img.shields.io/github/license/sgoudham/uwuifyy)](LICENSE) -> A robust, customizable, efficient and easy-to-use command line application to uwu'ify your text! +> A robust, customizable, blazingly-fast, efficient and easy-to-use command line application to uwu'ify your text! > -![](logo/UwUifyy-Transparent-Small.png) +![](logo/uwuifyy-logo.png) > > Logo Credits: Jade Nelson @@ -17,9 +17,11 @@ * [About](#about) * [Features](#features) * [Installation](#installation) - + [Windows](#windows) - + [Linux \ macOS](#Linux-\-macOS) - + [Rust \ Cargo](#Rust-\-Cargo) + * [Homebrew](#homebrew) + * [Binaries](#binaries) + + [Windows](#windows) + + [Linux \ macOS](#Linux-\-macOS) + + [Rust \ Cargo](#Rust-\-Cargo) * [Usage](#usage) + [Text Input to Text Output](#text-input-to-text-output) + [Text Input to File Output](#text-input-to-file-output) @@ -40,6 +42,7 @@ allows you to _uwu'ify_ text and files from within your own terminal in an _extr ## Features +- [x] _**BLAZINGLY FAST**_ (Check out -> [Benchmarks](#benchmarks)) - [x] Seeded by default to allow for reproducible results - [x] Excludes URL's & Emails - [x] UwU'ify files available locally on disk @@ -47,6 +50,17 @@ allows you to _uwu'ify_ text and files from within your own terminal in an _extr ## Installation +### Homebrew + +For `macOS` users, installation through [Homebrew](https://brew.sh/) is recommended. + +```shell +$ brew tap sgoudham/tap +$ brew install uwuifyy +``` + +### Binaries + Binaries for **Windows**, **macOS** & **Linux** are available with every single [release](https://github.com/sgoudham/uwuifyy/releases) @@ -69,13 +83,13 @@ C: 3. Set `uwuifyy.exe` in your path to access it globally ```shell -setx path "%path%;C:\your\path\here\bin" +$ setx path "%path%;C:\your\path\here\bin" ``` 4. Refresh command line and verify installation ```shell -uwuifyy --help +$ uwuifyy --help ``` ### Linux \ macOS @@ -88,43 +102,44 @@ uwuifyy --help ```shell # Linux -tar -xf uwuifyy-x86_64-unknown-linux-gnu.tar.gz -tar -xf uwuifyy-x86_64-unknown-linux-musl.tar.gz +$ tar -xf uwuifyy-x86_64-unknown-linux-gnu.tar.gz +$ tar -xf uwuifyy-x86_64-unknown-linux-musl.tar.gz # macOS -tar -xf uwuifyy-x86_64-apple-darwin.tar.gz +$ tar -xf uwuifyy-x86_64-apple-darwin.tar.gz ``` 3. Move into `~/bin` ```shell # Create ~/bin if it does not exist -mkdir -p ~/bin -mv uwuifyy ~/bin +$ mkdir -p ~/bin +$ mv uwuifyy ~/bin ``` 4. Set permissions for executable ```shell -chmod 755 ~/bin/uwuifyy +$ chmod 755 ~/bin/uwuifyy ``` 5. Update `PATH` to use globally ```shell # Linux -echo 'export PATH=~/bin:$PATH' >> ~/.bashrc -source ~/.bashrc +$ echo 'export PATH=~/bin:$PATH' >> ~/.bashrc +$ source ~/.bashrc # macOS -echo 'export PATH=~/bin:$PATH' >> ~/.bash_profile -source ~/.bash_profile +$ echo 'export PATH=~/bin:$PATH' >> ~/.bash_profile +$ source ~/.bash_profile ``` 6. Verify installation ```shell -uwuifyy --help +$ uwuifyy --help +uwuifyy 0.2.0 ``` ### Rust \ Cargo @@ -132,7 +147,7 @@ uwuifyy --help Alternatively, if using Rust's package manager, `Cargo`, all that is needed is ```shell -cargo install uwuifyy +$ cargo install uwuifyy ``` If you do not have `Cargo` available on your machine, you can download it as part of @@ -141,6 +156,8 @@ Rust [here](https://www.rust-lang.org/tools/install) ## Usage ```commandline +$ uwuifyy --help + USAGE: uwuifyy.exe [OPTIONS] <--text |--infile > @@ -159,42 +176,15 @@ OPTIONS: ### Text Input to Text Output -```shell -uwuifyy --text "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly." - Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd be abwe to *screams* fwy. -``` +![](examples/gifs/text-input-to-text-output.gif) ### Text Input to File Output -```shell -uwuifyy --text "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly." --outfile your/path/here/outfile.txt - [00:00:00] [############################################################] 104B/104B (0s) UwU'ifying Complete! -``` - -```text -your/path/here/outfile.txt -------------------------------------- -Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd be abwe to *screams* fwy. -``` +![](examples/gifs/text-input-to-file-output.gif) ### File Input to File Output -```text -your/path/here/infile.txt -------------------------------------- -According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. -``` - -```shell -uwuifyy --infile your/path/here/infile.txt --outfile your/path/here/outfile.txt - [00:00:00] [############################################################] 85B/85B (0s) UwU'ifying Complete! -``` - -```text -your/path/here/outfile.txt -------------------------------------- -Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd be abwe to *screams* fwy. -``` +![](examples/gifs/text-file-to-file-output.gif) ## Benchmarks @@ -206,7 +196,7 @@ Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd b - [Dataset](https://www.kaggle.com/kewagbln/shakespeareonline) - Size: `5.46 MiB` -- Time Taken: `1s` +- Time Taken: `< 1s` ![](examples/gifs/william-shakespeare.gif) @@ -214,7 +204,7 @@ Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd b - [Dataset](https://www.kaggle.com/amritpal333/tokyo-olympics-2021-tweets) - Size: `98.54 MiB` -- Time Taken: `8s` +- Time Taken: `1s` ![](examples/gifs/tokyo-2020-olympics-tweets.gif) @@ -222,7 +212,7 @@ Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd b - [Dataset](https://www.kaggle.com/shivamb/35-million-tiktok-mobile-app-reviews) - Size: `543.02 MiB` -- TIme Taken: `38s` +- TIme Taken: `4s` ![](examples/gifs/tiktok_app_reviews.gif) @@ -230,8 +220,8 @@ Accowding to aww knyown waws of aviation, thewe xDD is nyo way :3 a bee shouwd b - [Dataset](https://www.kaggle.com/bittlingmayer/amazonreviews?select=train.ft.txt.bz2) - Size: `1.6 GiB` -- Time Taken: `2:16m` -- **DISCLAIMER:** The input is a 1.6GB file and the output is a 2GB file. They are not included in the repo. +- Time Taken: `21s` +- **DISCLAIMER:** The input is a 1.6GB file and the output is a 2.2GB file. They are not included in the repo. ![](examples/gifs/amazon-ratings-reviews.gif) From 661a7308f5bfa7a30a5f8ceec644933ff2f74d90 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 22:33:05 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 14/17] Update crate description --- Cargo.toml | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Cargo.toml b/Cargo.toml index b09af5f..62dccab 100644 --- a/Cargo.toml +++ b/Cargo.toml @@ -3,7 +3,7 @@ name = "uwuifyy" version = "0.2.0" edition = "2021" authors = ["Goudham "] -description = "A robust, customizable, efficient and easy-to-use command line application to uwu'ify your text!" +description = "A robust, customizable, blazingly-fast, efficient and easy-to-use command line application to uwu'ify your text!" license = "MIT" readme = "README.md" repository = "https://github.com/sgoudham/uwuifyy" From f40f5357d2b9b3d038bbe80067e4a3a44f94e9ba Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 22:53:54 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 15/17] Add homebrew deploy action --- .github/workflows/deploy.yml | 36 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 35 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/.github/workflows/deploy.yml b/.github/workflows/deploy.yml index cc3f76e..0caeb1a 100644 --- a/.github/workflows/deploy.yml +++ b/.github/workflows/deploy.yml @@ -106,6 +106,18 @@ jobs: asset_path: ${{ env.BIN }}.tar.gz asset_name: ${{ env.BIN }}-${{ matrix.target }}.tar.gz asset_content_type: application/gzip + - uses: mislav/bump-homebrew-formula-action@v1 + if: "!contains(github.ref, '-')" # skip prereleases + with: + formula-name: ${{ env.BIN }} + homebrew-tap: sgoudham/tap + download-url: https://github.com/sgoudham/${{ env.BIN }}/releases/download/${{ github.ref }}/${{ env.BIN }}-${{ matrix.target }}.tar.gz + commit-message: | + {{formulaName}} {{version}} + + Created by https://github.com/mislav/bump-homebrew-formula-action + env: + COMMITTER_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.HOMEBREW }} linux: runs-on: ubuntu-latest @@ -144,4 +156,26 @@ jobs: upload_url: ${{ steps.create_release.outputs.upload_url }} asset_path: ${{ env.BIN }}.tar.gz asset_name: ${{ env.BIN }}-${{ matrix.target }}.tar.gz - asset_content_type: application/gzip \ No newline at end of file + asset_content_type: application/gzip + homebrew: + name: Bump Homebrew formula + needs: macos + runs-on: ubuntu-latest + steps: + - name: Extract version + id: extract-version + run: | + printf "::set-output name=%s::%s\n" tag-name "${GITHUB_REF#refs/tags/}" + - uses: mislav/bump-homebrew-formula-action@v1 + if: "!contains(github.ref, '-')" # skip prereleases + with: + formula-name: ${{ env.BIN }} + formula-path: Formula/${{ env.BIN }}.rb + homebrew-tap: sgoudham/tap + download-url: https://github.com/sgoudham/${{ env.BIN }}/releases/download/${{ github.ref }}/${{ env.BIN }}-${{ matrix.target }}.tar.gz + commit-message: | + {{formulaName}} {{version}} + + Created by https://github.com/mislav/bump-homebrew-formula-action + env: + COMMITTER_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.HOMEBREW }} \ No newline at end of file From 63ce9e9fb2c28724d82b77958a444e825315341b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 23:00:26 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 16/17] Exclude more files from crates.io --- Cargo.toml | 10 ++++++---- 1 file changed, 6 insertions(+), 4 deletions(-) diff --git a/Cargo.toml b/Cargo.toml index 62dccab..0b316b2 100644 --- a/Cargo.toml +++ b/Cargo.toml @@ -10,10 +10,12 @@ repository = "https://github.com/sgoudham/uwuifyy" keywords = ["cli", "uwu", "owo", "uwuify", "anime"] categories = ["command-line-utilities"] exclude = [ - "examples/the-complete-works-of-william-shakespeare.txt", - "examples/tiktok_app_reviews.csv", - "examples/tokyo-2020-olympics-tweets.csv", - "examples/uwu/**", + "examples/the-complete-works-of-william-shakespeare.txt", + "examples/tiktok_app_reviews.csv", + "examples/tokyo-2020-olympics-tweets.csv", + "examples/uwu/**", + ".github/**", + "scripts/**" ] # See more keys and their definitions at https://doc.rust-lang.org/cargo/reference/manifest.html From 9043e2d9a96338d4850200c1d862241d8f0111e0 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: sgoudham Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2022 23:07:41 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 17/17] Auto generate changelog --- .github/workflows/deploy.yml | 22 ++++++++++++++++++---- 1 file changed, 18 insertions(+), 4 deletions(-) diff --git a/.github/workflows/deploy.yml b/.github/workflows/deploy.yml index 0caeb1a..c76275e 100644 --- a/.github/workflows/deploy.yml +++ b/.github/workflows/deploy.yml @@ -47,8 +47,11 @@ jobs: 7z a "${{ env.BIN }}.zip" "${{ env.BIN }}.exe" mv "${{ env.BIN }}.zip" $GITHUB_WORKSPACE shell: bash - # We're using a fork of `actions/create-release` that detects - # whether a release is already available or not first. + - name: "Build Changelog" + id: build_changelog + uses: mikepenz/release-changelog-builder-action@{latest-release} + env: + GITHUB_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }} - uses: XAMPPRocky/create-release@v1.0.2 id: create_release env: @@ -56,8 +59,7 @@ jobs: with: tag_name: ${{ github.ref }} release_name: ${{ github.ref }} - # Draft should **always** be false. GitHub doesn't provide a way to - # get draft releases from its API, so there's no point using it. + body: ${{steps.github_release.outputs.changelog}} draft: false prerelease: false - uses: actions/upload-release-asset@v1 @@ -88,6 +90,11 @@ jobs: - run: scripts/set_rust_version.bash stable ${{ matrix.target }} - run: scripts/build.bash cross ${{ matrix.target }} RELEASE - run: tar -czvf ${{ env.BIN }}.tar.gz --directory=target/${{ matrix.target }}/release ${{ env.BIN }} + - name: "Build Changelog" + id: build_changelog + uses: mikepenz/release-changelog-builder-action@{latest-release} + env: + GITHUB_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }} - uses: XAMPPRocky/create-release@v1.0.2 id: create_release env: @@ -95,6 +102,7 @@ jobs: with: tag_name: ${{ github.ref }} release_name: ${{ github.ref }} + body: ${{steps.github_release.outputs.changelog}} draft: false prerelease: false - uses: actions/upload-release-asset@v1 @@ -138,6 +146,11 @@ jobs: - run: scripts/set_rust_version.bash stable ${{ matrix.target }} - run: scripts/build.bash /tmp/cross ${{ matrix.target }} RELEASE - run: tar -czvf ${{ env.BIN }}.tar.gz --directory=target/${{ matrix.target }}/release ${{ env.BIN }} + - name: "Build Changelog" + id: build_changelog + uses: mikepenz/release-changelog-builder-action@{latest-release} + env: + GITHUB_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }} - uses: XAMPPRocky/create-release@v1.0.2 id: create_release env: @@ -145,6 +158,7 @@ jobs: with: tag_name: ${{ github.ref }} release_name: ${{ github.ref }} + body: ${{steps.github_release.outputs.changelog}} draft: false prerelease: false - name: Upload Release Asset